Who I Am

A book of poems
Written by: Sajeda Ahmad
Lost

At times I find myself lost.

I realize that I do not belong.
I do not belong in a world where I’ve been tossed
I question: How have I been here for so long?
Keep me away from the mysterious ways of life,
Where I have seen defeat
Day by day, as if I was I stabbed by a knife
No longer do I feel complete.
Take me back to the days
When I was younger and not lost,
Left to my happiness where I would gaze,
And my visions were so glossed.
To take me away from all the fear,
If only I can make my mind go clear.

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Angels On Our Shoulders

َ ‫اﻟﺼ َﺮ‬
‫اط اﻟ ُﻤﺴ َﺘﻘِﯿﻢ‬ ‫اﻫ ِﺪَﻧــــﺎ ﱢ‬
Dragging my weight with cinder blocks attached to my legs.
Drained from within, of who I truly am.
Who am I truly? What am I becoming?
What is my name? What does it mean?
‫اﻟﻌﺒﺎدة‬
Seven days a week, five times a day, five minutes each.
Is it worth it?
I have been living my life accomplishing my deeds as a believer
To believe that I will make it past the evil.
All the evil that has done me wrong, has built me up.
Each five minutes spent, each question that has been called upon,
It is answered.
‫ُد َﻋﺎء‬
When we worship, we are forgiven.
We are guided.
Uplifts us to our peace of mind, and creating an everlasting bond.
Bringing us out from the darkness and into the light.
Guide us to the straight path.

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My Identity

Over there you are on your own

Once you walk a small distance
You try your best to throw a stone
Yet without needing any assistance
Over there you are known
Yet you feel like you are part of a pride
And that is how you feel so grown
Then you will never feel the need to hide
Over there you feel trapped
Soon they say streets are closed and doors are slammed
But then you feel so mapped
So the world feels so jammed
In Palestine you are so strong
Because you fix the right from the wrong.

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Where I’m From

I am from the kunafa

From the grape leaves and the olives.

I am from the mansions

Big, bold and beautiful
Magical sights.
I am from the olive trees,
the rose bushes and the breezy summers.

I’m from the Eid prayers and Ramadan nights

From the ones who raised me,
Ahlam and Eyad.
I’m from the multiple feasts and
Family time.

From “you’re too young!”, and

“I can do whatever”.
I’m from the Islamic culture,
WIth the role model prophets.
I’m from Turmusaya,
Land of the olives and grapes.

I am from a village in Palestine, and its roots will forever stay in my blood.

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Flowers

I saw the the beautiful plant life of my generation destroyed,

How I mourned the ornamental.
Now leggy is just the thing,
To get me wondering if the ornamental is prettier.

I cannot help but stop and look at lovely daffodils.

Are you upset by how lovable they are?
Does it tear you apart to see the daffodils so endearing?

One afternoon I said to myself,

"Why isn't the flush more considerable?"
High, high, high into the brightness of the flush,
Gently it goes - the life-size, the open handed, the loud.

Florets, however hard they try,

Will always be wooly.
Now hairy is just the thing,
To get me wondering if florets are wooly-headed.

Blossoms, however hard they try,

Will always be scented.
Are you upset by how odorous they are?
Does it tear you apart to see the blossoms so perfumed?

I cannot help but stop and look at the alluring bloom.

Are you upset by how beguiling it is?
Does it tear you apart to see the bloom so tempting?

Why is the beautiful plant life of my generation destroyed?

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The Law

You will not do anything outside the law

They are people who are not like us
They are dangerous and that is what we saw
“This will be recorded short of our lives” said grandpa
Not to forget that our dreams are bold to discuss
You will not do anything outside the law
Birds were thrown to the seesaw
Which there were tears choking us on the school bus
They are dangerous and that is what we saw
The voice of our childhood was an unwritten law
Our heart that sneezes without stopping feels like a concuss
You will not do anything outside the law
Surprised that you have a brother-in-law
And now you feel like you need to mistrust
They are dangerous and that is what we saw
You are like air stuck in straw
Like you need to run away from the camping bus
You will not do anything outside the law
They are dangerous and that is what we saw

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Beauty

Over there you are on your own

You try your best to throw a stone
Over there you walk a small distance
Without needing any assistance
Over there people are one
But enemies there are none
None;
Over there you are known
And that is how you feel grown
Over there you feel the pride
That is why no one will hide
Over there if someone cries
That means you met someone wise
Over there you can be trapped
But you then feel mapped
Over there soon they say streets are closed and doors are slammed
But then everyone feels jammed
Over there nine O’Clock
There isn’t one knock
Over there you are loyal
You feel very royal
Over there you are strong
Because you fix the right from wrong
Over there you feel proud
There are voices that are being loud
Over there the sun is so bright
Which means you don’t want the night
Over there you black out
Because of how you stand out
Over there Palestine
Oh life is very fine

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Dare

I dare you to listen to your heart,

But make sure that the choice is smart.
I dare you to learn from your mistake,
But make sure that it is not fake.
I dare you to confront to your soul,
But make sure you don’t fall through the hole.
I dare you to teach them your personality,
But make sure they understand the reality.
I dare you to fight for power,
But make sure you are not gone like a flower.

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White Rose

It was once alive and now it is gone.

So precious that it died dawn.
Its color was white and is so bright.
Nothing more needed than its light sight.
Now that it is gone there are no vibrant hues.
For so it was sad and hard to lose.
What was the purpose of letting it go?
For it had time to still grow.
Now waiting for the springs view,
Where all flowers will be so true.

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Life

Life is just a dream,

A question remains unanswered, what is the theme?
Well there is no theme, because it is more than one story.
Life is a way to a better path,
How is it that you will not drown in that bath?
Well there is no way to drown, you are out of water.
Life is a moral expectation,
Why don’t people believe in morals in this nation?
Well they are out of ideas to be part of the next station.
Life is no truth but to die,
Then death is the way for a good-bye? Why?
Well there is one way to live, and many different stories to be up in the sky.

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Salam

What can you see?

What do you think when you see me?
Cloth
Covered head to toe.
It is part of me, can you not see?
Friend or foe?
Friend, is what I am.
Strong, powerful.
I am my mother’s daughter.
I fought through many to stand where I am today.
But one people come walking toward me,
They run away.
I am not bad
I try my best.
Life is my obstacle
It is my quest.
I continue to thrive,
Keeping my head up high.
This is who I am,
On the inside.
See me for who I am.
‫ﺳﻼم‬

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Flies

Oh do I hate flies.
Annoying pests.
How they constantly bug me.
Why do they bother me,
What is it I can’t see?
“Sajeda has good grades,”
Please do not bother me.
“ Ask Sajeda,she will know!”
I ignore them, just go with the flow.
I hate those flies,
Everywhere I go, there they are.
Like pop goes the weasel,
In my face.
Yep it’s a cold case.
I’ll just swat them away,
Leave them for someone that will ruin their day.

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Part of Habbiness

Sometimes you have no way to express your feelings.

It only becomes better when you start healing.
I say I only want you to be habby, even if it is true without me.
It is the best way to show your strength and stand still like a tree.
What is wrong? I’m moody, and it is an on and off button.
Yes, I know the only way to see my smile is when I am glutton.
Let’s be honest, it is only right for a person to stay habby,
Where honestly nothing is worth someone ever feeling sabby.
You are confused right? Well this is true habbiness,
It really is the funnier definition of some amazing happiness.

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