10 MISTAKES THAT CAN

KILL YOUR SCRIPT

Jurgen Wolff
www.ScreenWritingSuccess.com

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10 MISTAKES THAT CAN KILL YOUR SCRIPT




1: A Boring Opening


Both in the studio system and the independent sector, people who choose which
scripts are made don’t have a lot of time. Basically they are looking for a reason
to reject your script and if you don’t capture their interest fast that’s exactly what
will happen.

Don’t assume, though, this means your script has to start with a chase,
explosion, or violent murder. Here’s the one thing your first scene has to do:

To make them want to keep reading.

That’s it.

And that’s the basic requirement of every scene that follows.

That means you have to arouse their curiosity. That can be done with a powerful
image, an intriguing action, or a great line of dialogue.

For example, imagine a scene in which a woman opens a refrigerator door. She
looks in, turns pale and whispers, “Oh my god!” Immediately we want to know
what she’s seen.

Make her line, “Oh my god, not again!” and we are even more curious.

If you then cut away to another scene without revealing what’s in the fridge, you
build the suspense.

Of course all this has to be done elegantly and in a way that makes sense for the
plot and the characters, but fail to do it and there’s a good chance you have
sealed the fate of your script within the first five pages.



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2: Flat characters


You know the kind I’m talking about: the rule-breaking old cop and his new
partner, the idealistic young rookie.

Yawn.

Seen it before.

You’d better bring something fresh to these two, and fast. The same goes for the
timid nerd, the smooth yuppie, the grumpy boss. Unless you give them an extra
dimension they will be dead on the page, empty stereotypes that will defeat even
good actors.

Avoid the easy route of having them be the exact opposite of what we expect: the
jock who reads poetry, the grump with the heart of gold, the granny who rides a
motorcycle—that’s just laziness taken to the next level.

Instead, think about the people in your own life and how complex they are once
you get to know them, the little secrets we all harbor. Bring in some of those
complexities and contradictions—even if you only hint at them—and your
characters will come alive.







3: Changing genres halfway through



If it’s going to be a comedy it had better be funny from page one.

If it’s going to be a thriller, you’d better foreshadow some element of dread or

suspense early on.

Yes, you can mix genres and of course you want to build suspense or jeopardy
as the script goes on, not reveal everything in the first scenes.

You can also shift the tone somewhat. But if the audience settles in to enjoy a
comedy and halfway through it turns into a non-ironic gore-fest, chances are they
will not be happy.













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4: A story that sags in the middle



Some writers call it “the second act swamp.” It’s that point in the script where
things have gotten off to a great start, the characters have embarked on their
adventure and had one or two obstacles to overcome, but it’s a long way to the
highest point of the conflict.

This is where a lot of writers start padding. That makes it the part where the
reader who was captured by the power of your opening starts to check his or her
watch and flip forward to see how many more pages there are.

It is where the inexperienced writer suddenly devotes ten pages to an

inconsequential subplot. Or where the new scene is pretty much the same as the
previous one. Or lots of stuff happens but it doesn’t advance the plot.

Where the story sinks and so does the reader’s attention.

Here’s a clue: if the middle doesn’t work, your real problem is in the beginning.
You haven’t set up things up to give your characters enough to keep them very
busy—in a meaningful way—in the middle of the script.







5: A predictable story


Sure, there are only 36 plots. Or maybe it’s 17, or 9, or 42.

We’ve seen it all before, but we’d better not have seen it in exactly the same
way.

Your secret weapon in overcoming this problem is your characters. Think of three
of your friends or family members. They go to the city (separately) and have their
wallet or purse stolen in the same circumstances. When they come back, they
tell you the story. Will each story be exactly the same, or will they vary because
there are three different personalities involved? I’m guessing it’s the latter.

The same thing helps your screenplay. If you have created unique characters
even a familiar experience can seem new.

Of course that’s not an excuse for not being innovative in how you construct the
story, it’s just an element that often is overlooked.

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6: A story that’ ’ is not about anything

The most satisfying films have a theme.

The plot is what happens, the theme is what the story is about.

In Avatar the plot was the attempt to conquer a planet in order to mine its
valuable minerals; the theme was our relationship to nature.

It’s not essential that you know the theme of your script before you start writing,
although it helps; in some cases you feel driven to write a certain story and only
when you’re done do you recognize what it’s about at a deeper level.

Once you know it, all the major scenes should reflect that theme in one way or
another. Not too overtly, though, or it’ll feel like a sermon.





7: Clunky dialogue


Dialogue can be bad because it’s clunky exposition, saying things the other
characters already know: “James, as my brother I expect you to support my
decision despite our differences over the years.”

Or it can be clichéd: “How long have we known each other?” “You don’t know
who you’re dealing with.” “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.” (If the line
could be the refrain in a pop song, probably it’s not a great line of dialogue.)

Or it can be stilted or wooden, or melodramatic: “Martha, I feel compelled to tell

you about Charles’ infidelities.”

Or it can be too on the nose. “I find your conspicuous consumption

reprehensible.” It’s rare that we actually say what we’re thinking. More often we
squeeze the meaning between the lines or send a passive-aggressive or ironic
message. (“Wow, you have a lot of stuff! You must be very happy.”)

It’s an old piece of advice but still valid: read your dialogue out loud or have
someone else read it out loud for you. You’ll spot the clunky bits much more
easily.







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8: The “ ” * the plot made me do it” * moment



We’ve all seen it: the scene in which the protagonist or (especially) the villain
does something because the plot requires it, not because it’s true to the
character or the moment.

Here’s a typical one for the villain: “I’ll kill you in a moment, but first let me
explain, with bad exposition, the reason behind every evil thing I’ve done so far.”

There’s got to be a better way, a way that is motivated logically, to get to the plot
development you need. Your job is to find it.

If you can’t, change your characters or the plot.

9: The disappointing payoff

You have a great opening and a middle that moves the story along, maybe your
character undergoes an interesting change, and you have set up the reader for
an exciting yet unpredictable ending.

Oh oh. Easier said than done.

That’s why so many bad scripts have a payoff that comes out of the blue—“Yes,
Joe, you thought I was one of the bad guys but in fact I’ve been working for the
FBI all along!”

Or the intended twist is a whimper rather than a bang.

Want to see a staggeringly good payoff? Watch M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Sixth
Sense.” Want to see an ending that should have been the middle? Watch M.
Night Shyamalan’s “Unbreakable.” Want to see a crappy payoff? Watch M. Night
Shymalan’s “Signs.” Want to seen an even crappier payoff? Watch M. Night
Shyamalan’s “The Village.”













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10: Bad spelling and punctuation



Your grammar school teacher was right: spelling does count. So does careless
punctuation. A script that looks like you couldn’t be bothered to proofread it is a
turn-off. The mistakes distract the reader’s attention and that can be deadly. If
you’re no good at spelling and punctuation, find a friend who is and have him or
her go over the script for you.







Yes, some movies break these rules!



“Wait a minute,” you may be saying, “last week I saw a movie that broke at least
three of these rules and got made anyway. It’s even making big money at the box
office!”

In more cases than you might suspect, the script was better before the producer,
the director, the star, the star’s girlfriend or boyfriend, or the money men got their
mitts on it and made changes to show they had a hand in the process.

In other cases the scripts were flawed to begin with but they got made anyway,
maybe because the backers had to spend their $50 million fast to get a tax break
so there wasn’t time to rewrite the script, or because the producers have a low
opinion of the intelligence of the audience, or they wouldn’t know a good story if it
bit them in the backside. Sometimes the special effects are good enough that the
audience is willing to overlook story problems. Sometimes they love a star so
much they’ll put up with a lousy picture in order to see her. Sometimes there’s
one great scene that overshadows the weaknesses.

All I’m saying is that if you avoid these ten mistakes, your script is more likely to
be bought—and to be a satisfying experience for the audience when it gets
made.

Good luck, and for more help in creating a great script, sign up for my
Screenwriting Success newsletter at the website
(www.ScreenWritingSuccess.com) and also visit there often for informative blog
posts, articles, and the screenwriting podcast.



Best regards, Jurgen