Coping Skills
Coping Skills
Coping Skills
Anger
Be Aware of Triggers
Anger triggers are the things that set you off. Knowing your triggers, and being cautious around
them, will reduce the likelihood of your anger getting out of control.
Create a list of your triggers and review them daily. Reviewing your triggers will keep them
fresh in your mind, increasing the likelihood you notice them before they become a problem.
Oftentimes, the best way to deal with a trigger is to avoid it. This might mean making
changes to your lifestyle, relationships, or daily routine.
Because it isn’t always possible to avoid triggers, have a plan when you must face them. For
example, avoid touchy conversations when you are tired, hungry, or upset.
Sit comfortably and place one hand on your abdomen. Breathe in through your nose, deeply
enough that the hand on your abdomen rises. Hold the air in your lungs, and then exhale slowly
through your mouth, with your lips puckered as if you are blowing through a straw. The secret is
to go slow: Time the inhalation (4s), pause (4s), and exhalation (6s). Practice for 3 to 5 minutes.
What was happening before the anger episode? Describe how you were feeling, and what
was on your mind. Were you hungry, tired, or stressed?
Describe the facts of what happened. What events triggered your anger? How did you react,
and did your reaction change as the event continued to unfold?
What were your thoughts and feelings during the anger episode? Looking back, do you see
anything differently than when you were in the heat of the moment?
play a game go for a bicycle ride write or journal take a long bath
Take a Time-out
Time-outs are a powerful tool for relationships where anger-fueled disagreements are causing
problems. When someone calls a time-out, both individuals agree to walk away from the problem,
and return once you have both had an opportunity to cool down.
With your partner, plan exactly how time-outs will work. Everyone should understand the
rationale behind time-outs (an opportunity to cool down—not to avoid a problem).
What will you both do during time-outs? Plan activities that are in different rooms or
different places. The list of diversions from above is a good place to begin.
sweating can’t get past problem feel hot / turn red clenched fists
pacing aggressive body language feel sick to stomach go quiet / “shut down”