STOP FIGHTING (4): ATTEND TO OTHERS

(James 4:1, 11-12)

September 1, 2019

Read James 4:1, 11-12 – Here’s a little poem. “Gossip should, as I was told /
By Father and my Mother / When I was very young, go in / One ear and out
the other. / And so perhaps it should; but I, / Who’ve listened thru the years
/ With studied concentration and / Alert, attentive ears, / Have learned that
gossip mostly takes / A detour to the south, / By which I mean that it goes in
/ One ear and out the mouth.” Lot of truth there, is there not? Of course,
none of us gossip. But, of course, all of us gossip. This passage actually
broadens the category to any critical speech. I’d bet none of us made it thru
last week without speaking ill of someone. Let’s just admit we’re guilty and
see what God has to say about it.

“What causes fights among you?” Speaking ill of others. You could say
“slander”, but Jas’ word includes that – and much more! καταλαλεω is
comprised of two words – “speak” and “under or against.” This is any speech
that tears someone down – whether in big ways or little. We all do it every
day, but from God’s perspective, it’s unacceptable. So let’s all listen – for
ourselves, not someone else. It is a convicting text – one we desperately need.

I. The Command – No Critical Speech

Straightforward command! Don’t do it. “Do not speak against one another,
brothers.” Simple, but it does require some explanation and clarification.

A. What It is Not – Note 11b: “The one who speaks against a brother
or judges his brother.” Speaking evil and judging are virtually the same. So do
neither. Thus, some combine this with Jesus’ statement in Mt 7:1: “Judge not,
that you be not judged” to suggest that we should never speak against another
person. Live and let live. Appreciate the diversity. That’s our general rule.

BUT, there are exceptions – when blatant, persistent sin is involved – gross
immorality (sexual sin, embezzling money, spreading vicious lies), or false
teaching – perverting the clear gospel message (like denying the atonement).
Then it’s not only right to speak against someone, it is required for the love of
others. Paul blasted those who perverted the gospel by adding works to the
equation. Gal 1:8: “But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to
you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed.
9) As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a
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gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed.” The gospel was
at stake, and Paul pulled no punches at false teachers. Jesus did the same to
the Pharisees in Mt 23. False teaching on the gospel calls for a targeted
response. Peter got it twice. Once from Jesus right after he’d declared that
Jesus was the Son of God and then declared that Jesus would not die on his
watch – steering Jesus away from the cross. Jesus met him head-on: “Get thee
behind me, Satan.” Later, he ate with new Gentile believers in Antioch, but
excused himself when a delegation arrived from Jerusalem. Paul confronted
him for his hypocrisy. His behavior denied his faith.

Immorality’s another issue. Jude 3-4: “Beloved, although I was very eager to
write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write
appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the
saints. 4) For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were
designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of
our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.”
Jude’s point? “I was hoping to write rejoicing in our common salvation;
instead I must call out false teachers and those who are using grace as an
excuse to sexual excess.

Paul faced the same issue. I Cor 5:1: “It is actually reported that there is
sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among
pagans, for a man has his father’s wife. 2 And you are arrogant! Ought you not
rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you.” In
v. 13 Paul even calls him an “evil person.” He’s calling them out for allowing
a perverted sexual relationship between son and stepmother – and
congratulating themselves on their tolerance. Such issues must be addressed!

The Bible always urges discernment in the areas of doctrinal integrity and
moral purity. But even confronting such issues requires caution: Gal 6:1:
“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any [major] transgression, you who are
spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself,
lest you too be tempted.” Deal with significant sin as defined by God’s rules.
But do it with humility and grace – aiming at restoration. Paul even says
concerning the adulterer in I Cor 5:5, “You are to deliver this man to Satan
for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved.” All of which
shows Jas is not promoting tolerance of ungodliness. So, what is he urging?

B. What It is – The NIV translates “do not slander one another” --

passing along an untruth about someone. Slander is listed in a number of NT
lists of sins to avoid. God warns in Psa 101:5: “Whoever slanders his
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neighbor secretly, I will destroy.” That’s pretty severe. We’d better get our
facts straight, right? I can’t tell you how often I’ve gotten information about
so-and-so and it was wrong. Slander is a disgrace for the follower of Christ. If
we need to confront, we need to go to the person, not the rest of the world.

We’d all agree with that. BUT that’s not what the verse says. NIV drew the
line too high. ESV lowered it a little with “Do not speak evil against one
another,” but even that is too restrictive. The verse literally reads as NASB has
it: “Do not speak against one another.” Period! There’s no qualifier. It’s not
don’t speak against, unless it’s true. Don’t speak against unless it’s really
bad, evil. It says, “Don’t speak against” at all. It forbids any speech, true or
untrue, which runs someone down – something we do every day of our lives.

We think it’s okay to pass on negative info if it’s true. We know lying is
wrong. And we know passing damaging info that isn’t confirmed – probably
shouldn’t do that, tho we often do. But passing along damaging truth almost
seems like a moral responsibility. So truth is our excuse for gossip as tho we
were moral crusaders. But, Beloved, we are not! This verse tells us that.

But it’s not just this verse. In both Rom 1:29-30 and II Cor 12:20, gossip and
slander are found right next to each other. That’s God telling us any speech
that runs down, speaks condescending or judgmentally of a fellow believer is
out of bounds. You know how the game is played. “Now, stop me if I’m
wrong;” or, “I don’t mean to be critical, but,” or, “I don’t know if I should
say this, but,” or, “I really like so-and-so, but,” or “I think you ought to
know,” or, worst of all, “We really need to pray for.” Down south it’s “Bless
her heart.” You hear that and you know the bomb is about to fall!

Try these 5 questions next time you’re about to criticize. First, what good will
this do my friend? Will it help or hurt? Second, what good does it do me?
Third, will this glorify God? Fourth, how would I feel if I heard someone say
this about me? Would I say this to that person’s face? We might find we don’t
have much left to talk about!

I’m trying to learn to even keep this out of private speech. I’d rather not be
someone God has to destroy because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I don’t
want a tombstone like one in England: “Beneath this stone, a lump of clay /
Lies Arabella Young, / Who, on the twenty-fourth of May, / Began to hold
her tongue.” I’d like to get it under control before that for God’s glory.

II. The Condemnation – Multiple Violations

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 A. Critical Speech Violates Family – Notice “brother” three times in
this verse. This is fellow-believers we are speaking against, and you can’t
hurt the family without hurting yourself. We should not be speaking down on
anyone, but most of all family. When we criticize we assume a position over
the other person; know more than they – are more circumspect than they –
smarter and of greater importance. It’s a subtle form of pride.

But we’re not nearly as smart as we think. Consider all the ways we misjudge.
We don’t know events in the past that affect our brother or sister right now.
We don’t know what happened yesterday or five minutes ago that may be
hurtful. We don’t know what they are working to change. Their Achilles Heel
is different from ours and thus judged by us -- while ours goes unnoticed –
which is why Jesus says in Mt 7:4-5: “Or how can you say to your brother,
‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own
eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will
see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” His point is we have
plenty to occupy us with our own faults without speaking ill of others.

Charles Swindoll tells of a devastating tale of seminary days. A missionary

speaker did a lousy job. Afterward, some students, including Swindoll, were
smugly ripping apart his presentation. Another student overheard, grabbed
Chuck’s arm and said, “Chuck, you don’t know all the facts.” Swindoll said,
“What do you mean. That was a pitiful message!” The guy responded, “Did
you know that two hours before the message his wife called and told him his
youngest son had been killed in an accident. Three months before that, his
wife was diagnosed with cancer. And yet he still came and delivered his
message.” Swindoll says, “You can’t imagine the shame I felt. I had judged
– and spoken against – a brother when I didn’t know all the facts.” Most of
the time we don’t know all the facts. We need to remember that.

B. Critical Speech Violates the Law – 11b: “The one who speaks
against a brother (or sister) or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law
and judges the law.” So what law is that? The royal law of God defined by Jas
in 2:8: “If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, ‘You
shall love your neighbor as yourself,’ you are doing well.’” That law is royal
bc in one phrase it summarizes the second (people) five of the ten
commandments. “Love your neighbor as well as you love yourself”. Tough
standard. Do we speak ill of ourselves like we do others! When we down
about another – we are in dangerous territory. We’ve implied it’s more
important for us to speak ill of that person than to love them as we love
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ourselves! When we speak against rather than love, we’re saying our opinion
is more important than God’s! Is that where we really want to be?!

Speaking ill of others puts us in violation of the last five commandments.

Rather than honor our family member, we’ve torn them down. We’ve
murdered their reputation, in our own mind if not others. We’ve violated their
character. We’ve stolen their good name. We’ve potentially born false
witness, or at least shared information that true or not should never have gone
any further. And we have done all this because we covet a position above that
person. Instead of the law sitting in judgment of our actions, we are sitting
judgment of the law – saying in effect we know best. We have grossly
overstepped our bounds. Jas says in 12b: “Who are you to judge your
neighbor?” It’s the law’s job to judge. It’s our job to love. When we don’t,
we’re in violation of the very law we accuse others of violating.

Pres Lincoln wouldn’t go there. At the Battle of Shiloh, General Grant was
taken by surprise, yet won after two bloody days. BUT, his critics came out of
the woodwork – claiming that he had been drunk and acted irresponsibly. It
wasn’t true – but Grant’s penchant for alcohol at times of loneliness and
inactivity was haunting him. The pressure on Lincoln to fire him was severe.
Lincoln refused. He looked for the good in Grant, not just the weakness,
refusing to speak against him. Grant’s friend, Elihu Washburne, congressman
from Ohio, later told Grant, “When the torrent of criticism and detraction
was rolling over you, and your friends, after the battle of Shiloh, Mr.
Lincoln stood like a wall of fire between you and it, uninfluenced by the
threats of others.” CW historian, Jas MacPherson points out, “Had it not been
for Lincoln’s support at this time, the Grant of history would not have
existed – and perhaps neither would the Lincoln of history.” There is a
lesson there for all of us. In defending others, we help ourselves as well.

C. Critical Speech Violates God -- One more violation remains!

V. 12: “There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to
destroy.” In speaking ill of others we not only set ourselves above the law, we
set ourselves above the Lawgiver – above God Himself. We’ve said, “Lord,
move on over; you can take a break. I’m here to help. I’ll take it from here.”
We’ve pushed God out, and that’s a problem! We’re woefully underqualified
for that position. There’s “one lawgiver and judge” – and it’s not us!

As Judge, he is “able to save and to destroy.” We’re quite willing to destroy

with our speech – but we’re far less anxious to save. We’re far from God-like.
Do you know what a spider does when a famine descends on her family?
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Hungry mouths to feed and no flies to eat. She does something unique among
living creatures. She releases her digestive juices into her own body. They
begin to run freely through her abdomen as she holds still, digesting not some
other meat, but her own – breaking down the parts that keep her alive until her
eyes go flat and she dies, having turned herself into food for her children.

This is what the true Judge of the Law does. True, He destroys those who will
never turn to Him. Mt 10:28: “And do not fear those who kill the body but
cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in
hell.” The Lawgiver is to be feared – rightfully so. But before He condemns,
He provides a way for violators to be saved – at the cost of His own life.
That’s how badly he wants them to live. That’s what a true Judge does. And
let’s be honest, we have neither the will nor the ability to save those we speak
against. We look to hurt, not help. So we need to get out of the business of
critical speech. We’re playing God – badly – when we speak ill of others.

Conc – Let me conclude with this. There’s an unseen link between vv. 7 and
11. In v. 7 Jas says, “Resist the devil.” He specifically refers to Satan as the
devil – which means slanderer! Now in v. 11 he says, “Do not speak evil
against one another.” In other words, don’t slander one another. The big
implication? When you speak ill of one another, you’re not resisting the
devil – you’re doing the devil’s work. We may pretend we want to help, but
we’re really doing Satan’s work for him. Surely we don’t want that.

Best way to stop fights? Quit running one another down. At a meeting of the
Gridiron Club in DC on Dec 8, 1934, FDR and H. L. Mencken both delivered
speeches to all the newspapermen. Menken went first, with a thorough
criticism of FDR’s new deal. But FDR, after referring to “my old friend Henry
Mencken,” began to attack the newsmen – calling them stupid, ignorant and
implying they couldn’t pass college entrance examinations. Everyone was
stunned – until they realized, FDR was simply reading Mencken’s essay,
“Journalism in America.” Mencken was completely humiliated – perhaps like
many of us would be if all of our speaking ill were read before those we have
criticized. Let’s ask God to help us work on that. “Resist the devil – do not
speak evil of one another.” Let’s pray.