Silent Killers

Lyka Isabel Tan

“Cebu student dies after jumping off school’s 7th floor”, a news aroused as I got home from
school. A student committed suicide due to depression.
Days after, another news spreading over the internet as Nadine Lustre’s brother Isaiah dies of
apparent suicide, for the same reason – depression.
Loads of news about suicide, depression, and anxiety spread over social media. And due to these
incidents, awareness about these three were raised, and because these news are still fresh.
Scrolling through my Facebook and Twitter, and while reading and hearing these ‘so-called’
awareness, I just sat around and wanted to laugh, because for sure, after a day or two, these will just be
like another random posts waiting to be ignored. Most people post just for ‘posting’ and to ‘sympathize’
supposedly. Yes, let’s say, they did post to raise awareness and stuff, but why just now? Now that it had
killed people. What about before?
I always observed and got used to this that statements like these will come out after another
person dies of suicide then will just fade away left unnoticed. People who said they care will not even
take action. They just spread news and things to prevent suicide but would not even take steps. Well, we
could not do anything about it, some people are only good with words.
“I am only one call away” – ha, funny, once needed, you are not even there. You are not found,
you are unattended, and you cannot even be seen.
“I’m always here for you,” really? But, where are you? Where are you in those times when we
need someone to talk to? Where are you in those times when we said we cannot take it anymore?
As a girl battling with depression and anxiety, I could not just fathom the idea of those people
who said that these two are some kind of a joke. Are you kidding me? Don’t you hear those news and
articles that a person dies because of depression? Because of anxiety? How about those who are going
through medications? Do you count how much each year dies because of suicide?
Just days after hearing the news about the student who jumps off the school building, I was
beyond furious after hearing Joey de Leon’s ignorant and insensitive statement about depression saying
“gawa-gawa lang yang depresyon na yan” (Depression is just made).
Depression is not just ‘gawa-gawa lang’. Depression is real. Depression kills. It is not someone
asking for attention. Depression is when you do not really care about anything; it is hearing your favorite
song and not singing along; it is staring at a wall for hours, uninterrupted, wondering why you feel the
way you do; it is feeling all your emotions slowly slipping away; it is rarely sleeping but always feeling
exhausted; it is doing whatever it takes to feel something, trying anything to not feel so numb; it is not
having the energy to even talk to the people you love, or do anything actually; and it is wishing that you
could at least love yourself, but you cannot, not the way you want to.
Depression is a condition in which a person feels discouraged, sad, hopeless, unmotivated, or
disinterested in life in general and when the feelings interfere with daily activities. Major depression is a
treatable illness that affects the way a person thinks, feels, behaves, and functions
Depression can run in families. People with low self-esteem, who are easily overwhelmed by
stress, or who are generally pessimistic appear to be more likely to experience depression.
In the other hand, anxiety is when you care too much about everything.
It is a normal part of life to experience occasional anxiety. Everyone gets nervous or anxious
from time to time - when speaking in public, for instance, or when going through financial difficulty.
Anxiety is what we feel when we are worried, tense or afraid – particularly about things that are
about to happen, or which we think could happen in the future. Anxiety is a natural human response when
we perceive that we are under threat. It can be experienced through our thoughts, feelings and physical
sensations.
 Anxiety feels as if everyone in the world is waiting for me to trip up, so that they can laugh at me.
It makes me feel nervous and unsure whether the next step I take is the best way forward.
But when does anxiety become a mental health problem?
Anxiety can become a mental health problem if it impacts on your ability to live your life as fully
as you want to. It is when it interferes with your daily activities. You find it hard to go about your
everyday life or do things you enjoy. It is when your worries feel very distressing or are hard to control; it
is when your feelings of anxiety are very strong or last for a long time; and when your fears or worries are
out of proportion to the situation.
Anxiety disorders are real, serious medical conditions - just as real and serious as physical
disorders such as heart disease or diabetes.
Having an anxiety is hard that even going out of the house is a challenge. You fear of panicking;
you tend to avoid social situations for fear of being judged, embarrassed, our humiliated; you have
seemingly out-of-the blue panic attacks and the preoccupation with the fear of having another one; you
have irrational fear or avoidance of an object, place, or situation that poses little or no threat of danger;
and you have recurring nightmares, flashbacks, or emotional numbing related to a traumatic event that
occurred several months or years before.
Depression and anxiety are two different things, but having them both is just like hell.
Depression and anxiety are both silent killers. They are murderers just sitting there silently
waiting to be touched, but once touched, even the slightest feeling, it will be like a bomb that just
explodes. Depression and anxiety are not just all in the mind and definitely not a choice. Who in the
world wanted to have like these? Who wanted to be sad and lonely for the rest of their lives?
These two are not ‘pa-sosyal lang’. It just happens that some have means to go for medications,
therapies, and counseling. Some are lucky enough to afford these, but how about those who have nothing?
That is why you’ll be surprised that there are some who jumps off the bridge or buildings, drinks poison,
hangs themselves, or cut or wound themselves.
People commit suicide not because they want attention, but they commit suicide because they no
longer could carry the burdens and problems they have. “They`re weak,” you said? No, they aren`t. They
have been strong for so long but still feel useless that killing thyself is the only way. They don`t want to
end their lives, they want to end the pain, bullying, hating, suffering, anger, and feeling unloved and
unwanted. Who in the world want to commit suicide because of nothing, just some kind of tripping? I
hope you won`t call them names like ‘weak’ and ‘stupid’ because first of all, you are not in their place.
You never know how heavy their problems are.
People who commit suicide just wanted to escape – from everything. They were slowly drowning
and just wanted to go with the flow, but in reality, they just want someone to lift up their hands and bring
them to the shallow part of the ocean and continue breathing again.
“How about you tell your problems to your friends? To a psychiatrist? Or to someone?” you
asked? People with depression tend to keep their problems to themselves because they do not want to be
judged. They are afraid people will just laugh at them, saying things like over acting, that they just want
attention. Some may even address them as insane. Stop, please. Depression and anxiety may be mental
disorders, but we are not crazy.
But despite all of these, people with depression and anxiety tend to make jokes more.
They try to make others smile. They are not attention seekers.
We even smile and laugh more than non-depressed people. We are not faking it.
We tend to go on with our lives like we are not battling with anything. We tend to care more,
because we do know how it feels to be ignored and to be left unnoticed, we know how it feels being
seenzoned by people we thought would always be there.
Do we still have to wait another innocent person to be killed and murdered by these silent killers
– depression and anxiety – before we believe that these are real? It is time to accept it. It is time to do
something.
 I hope people will take time to check in on the people they love. A simple, “Are you okay?” can
mean so much to someone going through a hard time.
So, if you do not have any good to say and just insult people going through with these, better not
spill it and just keep silent. And to those who suffers from this, hold on, do not give up. You are bigger
than depression and anxiety. Your God is bigger than these two.