Personal Testimony

Portillo, Irish Kay B.
Christian Leadership
AB Theology Midterm Examination
Personal Testimony
I was born with a Christin family. I have relatives who are Pastors, and the
person who raised me is one of them. Ever since I was an infant, my world revolves at
my second home—the church. I grew up doing what is good in the eyes of my family
and the congregation I belong to. But, one day, I just woke up realizing that I was living
pleasing the people around me because I thought it was the right thing to do, not
considering that the one I must please is my Creator. Yes, I grew up being a religious
person, but no, I was not a Christian.
Before I have received Jesus Christ in my life as my God and Savior, I was a
lost, empty, and damaged person. I did not even know myself by that time, I could not
understand how I feel and I did not know how to live my life. Being religious is not what
a person needs, it was not what I needed. I should have known my God throughout the
years, but that’s not what happened because I was too focused on showing the people
that I am a Christian—but the truth is, I was not. I tried to survive this cruel world doing
what I thought could make me happy, even if it was not what can make God happy.
When I went to Davao for college, I lived there alone and with freedom, so I spent a lot
of my parents’ money for nonsense things. I have also tried to go home at 3 o’clock in
the morning without my parents’ consent. I even lied to people many times because of
my stupid reasons. I did these worldly things because I was seeking for what was
lacking in my life. I thought it could help me learn to know who and what I am, but no, it
just made everything worse because the most crucial stage of my life had begun—I
almost killed myself. Everything became so dark and blurry. What I only knew was that I
was in great pain and nobody could help me save myself from drowning. It was the
hardest time for me because I have ran away from God and the people I love for I did
not know how to deal with my situation. I became dependent to alcohol because I
thought it could drown my negative feelings. I also cut myself many times because I
thought it could heal my emotional pain event just for a while. I knew I hurt my God with
what I did, but I did not care, I was so selfish.
Despite the bad things that I did throughout my life, God still became
faithful to me, he did not allow me to drown forever. He sent me help through the people
around me. They reached out to my hands and started to pull me up until me myself
could get away from drowning. My life began to change because I started to listen to
what God is saying. He used my family and the experiences that I have been through as
instruments for me to see the will of God—to receive Him as my Savior. I talked to Him
personally and did cry to Him, asking for forgiveness for all the things that I have done. I
humbled myself in front of Him and surrendered my whole life to the one who gave it to
me. My way of living began to change by the time I committed myself to Him because
He changed me, the whole me. Now I can say that this is the beginning of being a
Christian and not just a religious one.

God has unconditional love for His children despite being sinners. I have
witnessed it myself because no matter how much pain I have given Him for what I have
done, He still chose to love me and save me from sin. He is a merciful God and He
deserves my hundred percent time and attention, so I want to give it to Him. My
perspective in life has started to change from a pessimistic to optimistic one. I can now
see the brighter side of every trial that is coming my way, no matter how dark it is.
Everything became lighter and I became stronger through His grace and mercy to me. I
did not deserve everything that He has given me, but I know that it is because of His
unfailing love for every soul and that includes me. Because of that, I am more motivated
and eager to serve Him for the rest of my life, with all I have and with all I am. I am
happy and proud to call myself a Christian, not because I am religious, but because I
have a strong relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ.

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Portillo, Irish Kay B.

AB Theology Midterm Examination

person, but no, I was not a Christian.

what I did, but I did not care, I was so selfish.

Christian and not just a religious one.

deserves my hundred percent time and attention, so I want to give it to Him. My

have a strong relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ.

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