Youngminds Mental Illness Family

Mental illness
in your family
“Sometimes when my brother gets ill he
can be a bit scary. Once he stopped taking
his tablets. He said he just wanted to
be like everyone else and didn’t want to
depend on anything or anyone.
“I came home from school one day and

he was talking right in my face about
stuff that didn’t even make sense. He
has all these ideas about how he was
going to lead the army into sorting out
psychiatrists. He was never violent or
anything but I was worried if I didn’t say
the right thing, he might be.”
youngminds.org.uk/family-mental-illness
Coping with a family member
with a mental illness
If someone in your family is diagnosed with a mental
illness, it can be hard to deal with.
First, you’re probably worried about them and what will

happen. Then there’s your own feelings and trying to
cope with the changes in how they behave towards you.
In this booklet, you’ll find information on what a mental

illness is, how their illness can affect you and where to go
for help and support.
1
What is a mental illness?
Just like our bodies get ill, our minds can get ill too.
Everyone has days where they feel lonely, disappointed,

frightened or anxious.
But sometimes, these feelings can get on top of us and

they can impact everything from going to work or school
and how we behave towards others.
That’s when we have a mental health problem. When

someone is at the extreme end of these feelings and they
find it difficult to manage, we consider it to be a mental
illness.
It can be mild or severe and can last a short period of

time or continue for years and require a lot of help to get
better.
What causes mental illness?
It’s rare for a mental illness to occur out of the blue, it
usually builds up over time and comes to a point where
people need professional help. The causes are wide
ranging and include:
•• A stressful or traumatic event that triggers certain

feeling and emotions
•• A chemical imbalance in the brain
•• Changes in the body which can affect how someone
feels or reacts
•• There can be no identifiable cause
•• Remember you are never the cause of their illness
Mental illnesses can be treated. Sometimes, medication

is used while other therapies such as talking therapy and
counselling can help people deal with the traumatic event
that may have triggered their illness, the symptoms they
show as well as how to stay well and healthy.
3
Anxiety Disorders:
What are they?
When someone is overwhelmed by fear, it can lead to an
anxiety disorder such as:
Phobias – when someone has severe or unreasonable

fears of everyday things such as going to work, being
outside, certain places, animals or items.
Obsessive compulsive disorder – when someone

carries out repeated rituals or habits to handle distressing
thoughts, for example constantly washing their hands.
Post traumatic stress disorder – when someone is

overwhelmed by a distressing event and continues to
have dreams, flashbacks or upsetting thoughts about it.
Eating disorders - when someone’s eating habits

become unhealthy such as eating too much or eating
too little. These include bulimia and anorexia.
5
Depression: What is it?
Depression is one of the most common types of mental
illness. It’s a mood disorder where someone feels ‘down’
all the time. It’s like taking the bad days we all have, but
having them for weeks or months and it can cause a
wide variety of symptoms including lasting feelings of
unhappiness and hopelessness, to losing interest in the
things you used to enjoy and feeling very tearful.
Sometimes it can happen as a reaction to something

sudden and traumatic. Sometimes the reasons can build
over time.
More than one person can experience depression in a

family, too. Sometimes, mothers can experience it after the
birth of a baby – this is known as Post-Natal Depression.
People with depression can feel tired all the time, find it hard
to concentrate and they often don’t want to do everyday
things like getting dressed or making something to eat.
1 in 5
people are affected by clinical
depression at some point in
their lives
7
Psychosis: What is it?
In a psychotic episode, a person loses touch with reality
as other people see it. They might hear voices, see or feel
things that aren’t there, feel paranoid or believe things
that don’t rationally make sense.
The most common types of psychosis are:
Schizophrenia – someone sees, hears or believes

things that for other people are not true. They can
also feel muddled, low or withdrawn.
Bipolar – where someone’s mood swings from very

‘high’ to very ‘low’. It’s also known as manic
depression. People with bipolar disorder don’t
always show psychotic symptoms.
1 in 100
people in the UK are affected by
bipolar disorder
9
How does mental illness
affect you?
It can be hard when someone close to you has a mental
illness.
If it’s a parent, sometimes they might not be able to give

you the love and attention you need. And they might find
things like cooking or helping you with your homework
difficult.
If it’s a brother or sister, there might be times they don’t

want to play or socialise with you. Your parents may spend a
lot of time looking after them and it may make you feel left out.
You might have some feelings that make you feel guilty or
ashamed too. For example, you might feel;
•• You’re missing out because you’re looking after

someone and doing jobs around the house most people
your age don’t do
•• Ashamed and not want to bring friends home
•• Worried that you will suffer from the same illness
These feelings are absolutely normal. Don’t feel guilty or

blame yourself for having them.
If you’re finding it hard to cope, it helps to talk to

someone. Talking to someone in your family can help
because they’re probably going through the same thing.
If you can’t talk to someone in your family, think of

someone else you trust like a teacher, youth worker,
counsellor or your doctor.
11
“Everyone’s always picking on other
people at school. If I told about my dad
and got it out, they might start picking
on me. I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone
at home because they’ve got enough
to worry about. I’m really scared about
someone finding out. I make up excuses so
no-one comes round.”
How are mental health
problems treated?
There is help and treatment available for people with
mental health problems. Usually, they’ll see their GP first,
who’ll arrange for them to see a specialist like a psychiatrist,
counsellor or psychotherapist. They’ll decide together on
the best treatment for them. This can include:
Talking treatment – where they talk through the

problems with trained professionals to help them
get better
Medication – these can help to address chemical

imbalances and make someone feel more ‘normal’
Sometimes, if someone is very ill they may need to go to

hospital. This is rare and is usually only the case if they are
at risk of hurting themselves, other people or because they
are not getting better with the treatment they are having
at home.
13
My parent is ill - who looks
after me?
If your parent or carer is ill, you don’t have to cope on your
own. Another family member or friend may be able to help
out and arrangements about you being looked after will
always be discussed with you and your parent or carer.
Social services may be able to get involved to arrange some

extra help at home or work with a relative or family friend
to make sure they can give you the support you need.
On some very rare occasions, they may need to arrange

a temporary foster carer until a parent or carer is better
and well enough to look after their children.
This is a really important decision that will be discussed

with you and your parent or carer.
You should never feel the burden
of a parent’s mental illness –
remember, if it’s getting too
much, talk to someone about it.
15
Who can help?
There are plenty of organisations out there who can help

if you’re worried or struggling to cope with mental illness
in your family.
childline.org.uk
The UK’s free helpline for children and young people
– it’s a confidential service and provides telephone
counselling for any child with a problem.
Helpline: 0800 1111
Textphone: 0800 400 222
Mon-Fri 9:30am-9:30pm | Sat and Sun: 11am-8pm
themix.org.uk
Offers free support and advice for under 25s through a
confidential helpline, online chat and discussion boards.
Helpline: 0808 808 4994
7 days a week 2pm – 11pm
youthaccess.org.uk
Information and advice on counselling services for people
aged 12–25. Visit the website and click ‘Find a service’.
carersUK.org
Information and advice for carers of all ages. They also
have a directory of local carers groups
Tel: 0808 808 7777
Mon-Fri 10am-4pm
babble.carers.org
An online community of young carers where you can talk
to others like you, share stories and find support.
17
Parents
Helpline
0808 802 5544
youngminds.org.uk
Mon-Fri 9.30am-4pm
YoungMinds
Fourth Floor, India House
45 Curlew Street
London SE1 2ND
Telephone 020 7089 5050
ymenquiries@youngminds.org.uk
youngminds.org.uk
Registered charity number: 1016968

Company limited by guarantee number: 02780643
Thank you to Dr Andrea Gnanadurai and her colleagues at the Child

and Family Public Engagement Board, Royal College of Psychiatry for
fact checking this booklet.

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Mental illness

“I came home from school one day and

First, you’re probably worried about them and what will

In this booklet, you’ll find information on what a mental

Everyone has days where they feel lonely, disappointed,

But sometimes, these feelings can get on top of us and

That’s when we have a mental health problem. When

It can be mild or severe and can last a short period of

•• A stressful or traumatic event that triggers certain

Mental illnesses can be treated. Sometimes, medication

Phobias – when someone has severe or unreasonable

Obsessive compulsive disorder – when someone

Post traumatic stress disorder – when someone is

Eating disorders - when someone’s eating habits

Sometimes it can happen as a reaction to something

More than one person can experience depression in a

The most common types of psychosis are:

Schizophrenia – someone sees, hears or believes

Bipolar – where someone’s mood swings from very

If it’s a parent, sometimes they might not be able to give

If it’s a brother or sister, there might be times they don’t

•• You’re missing out because you’re looking after

These feelings are absolutely normal. Don’t feel guilty or

If you’re finding it hard to cope, it helps to talk to

If you can’t talk to someone in your family, think of

Talking treatment – where they talk through the

Medication – these can help to address chemical

Sometimes, if someone is very ill they may need to go to

Social services may be able to get involved to arrange some

On some very rare occasions, they may need to arrange

This is a really important decision that will be discussed

There are plenty of organisations out there who can help

Registered charity number: 1016968

Thank you to Dr Andrea Gnanadurai and her colleagues at the Child

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