Pag-Ibig (Love), Pagnanasa (Desire) :: Filipino Adolescents and Sexual Risks
Pag-Ibig (Love), Pagnanasa (Desire) :: Filipino Adolescents and Sexual Risks
Introduction
Findings
Paglabas (Dating)
Because of the term’s romantic and sexual connotations, dating is not
seen as a salient stage in the process of building a romantic relation-
ship among Filipino adolescents, especially in rural areas. Although
those in the urban centres and upper income groups may use the
term, most adolescents prefer to use the term lumalabas which
roughly translates to “going out together”. Research shows that the
purposes of paglabas among young individuals are :
• Recreation
• Companionship
• Status grading
• Socialisation for personal and social growth
• Sexual experimentation and satisfaction
• Partner selection
• Intimacy
Kami Na
Young adolescents are engaged in various types of sexual relation-
ships : they use the terms “committed” to signal a steady relationships
and “casual” for sexual partnerships that are considered to be
“fleeting” and “temporary”. Beyond these two lay transactional sexual
relationships.
Committed relationships are believed to be characterized by pag-
ibig (love). They usually use the phrase kami na (a rough and crude
translation of this phrase is “it’s us”) to verbalise the existence of a
committed relationship. The word kami connotes “being one with the
other” and denotes the merging of individualities and identities.
Committed relationships therefore include the expectation of blurring
physical and psychological boundaries among partners. In some cases,
this is coupled with the female’s identity being subsumed under the
male’s identity. Terms used to denote the partner are syota,
girlfriend/boyfriend, bu, steady, hubby, mama/papa, mahal, babes, etc.
Love for young individuals is associated with being together, which
allows each person “to get to know the other and deepen the rela-
tionship”. This need to be together necessitates spending more time
together alone, which allows the partners to explore each other’s sex-
uality.
Chic, chèque choc 175
Libog
“Casual” sexual partnerships come with different labels/phrases, such
as “one night stand”, “flirtation”, “Fubu (fuck buddies, friends with ben-
efits)”, “SEB (sex eyeball)” “seks lang”, etc. More adolescent males
admit to having these types of sexual partnerships than females. These
Chic, chèque choc 177
terms denote that such partnerships are only “for releasing sexual
energies” or “sexual urges”, which adolescents locally call libog (lust).
Lust is conceptualized by adolescents as something biological, charac-
terised by bodily sensations that trigger arousal and create tension,
which needs to be released/addressed. Some adolescents, most of
whom are males, would tend to compartmentalise the concepts of lust
and love, reporting that they love their partners in committed rela-
tionships but lust after another individual. This compartmentalisation
allows individuals to explore sexual partnerships outside of committed
relationships, which can lead to a condition of heightened risk.
Adolescents believe that the noncommittal nature of “casual”
sexual partnerships allow individuals to be more open to explore
sexual activities, without the need for committed relationships. The
nature of partnerships ranges from “one night stands” to “fuck bud-
dies” (FBs). While the former is characterised by non-permanent
partnerships, the latter is characterised by a certain level of regularity,
based on mutual need to sexually satisfy one another. It is however a
cardinal rule among FBs that none should fall in love with the other in
the process. Some adolescents, especially females, find these casual
sexual partnerships as more “liberating” because they can negotiate
the terms/conditions of engagement. One such condition may be on
the form of protection, such as condom use.
Another form of sexual partnership, mainly driven by lust and
desire, is the transactional relationship. These types of partnerships
also characterised some adolescent relationships. Prostituted adoles-
cents would narrate their experiences, highlighting their recognition
that their bodies serve as objects of desire and as commodities in
transactions. Though some of them are in committed relationships,
they have learned to compartmentalise their lives as partners and as
commercial sex workers (CSWs). Some even define boundaries, physi-
cal and behavioural, based on this form of compartmentalisation, not
allowing their “customers” to kiss them on the lips (for females) for
example, or not allowing them to give them oral sex (for males). Some
CSWs narrate experiences of dissociating themselves from their
bodies in the process of engaging in sex with a “customer”, which
allow them to cope with the dissonance that they feel. They may also
use drugs to “deaden the bodily sensations” they feel or to lessen
their inhibition in the sexual act.
178 Maria Theresa D. Ujano-Batangan
Toma, droga
According to young individuals, one of the salient factors that leads to
initiation of sexual intercourse in committed and casual relationships is
their participation in gateway behaviours. Gateway behaviours are
defined as “mildly or moderately distressing activities, frequently self-
destructive”, which often progress to increasingly risky behaviours
(Whirtier et al. 2004). There is increasing evidence that these behav-
iours – e.g. getting intoxicated (toma), doing drugs (droga) – are linked
Chic, chèque choc 179
Katawan
Another factor that complicates the adolescent sexual exploration is
their ignorance of their own bodies (katawan). Most young people are
never encouraged to explore their bodies and the sensations associ-
ated with each body part. As they go through the changes brought
about by puberty, they become more curious about the changes they
are going through and try to secure information on this. They depend
most of the time on peers, the Internet and other forms of mass media,
for information. Unfortunately, the content of mass media creates unre-
alistic expectations of the adolescent body, which further on increases
the dissatisfaction of adolescents with their own bodies (especially
among females) leading to other risks and problems. They gain dis-
torted information particularly about the human body and more gener-
ally about human sexuality. Myths regarding fertility, STIs, HIV/AIDS,
pregnancy, contraception and protection still haunt young people, dis-
abling them in making sound decisions regarding their sexuality.
Sexual Risks
Filipino adolescent and adult respondents agree that the following are
the top five risk conditions confronted by young people (Sobritchea
and Ujano-Batangan 2003) : domestic violence/violence in intimate
relationships ; lack of access to adolescent reproductive health
services ; lack of education on sexuality and reproductive health ; ado-
lescent unsafe/risky sexual activities and behaviours ; and mental health
issues and problems (i.e. depression and suicide ideation).
At risk behaviours that adolescents engage in which increase the
likelihood of adverse psychological, social and health consequences can
be classified into the following : problem behaviours ; health related
behaviours ; and school behaviours. The concept of risk does not have
any direct translation in Filipino. Whenever adolescents and adults are
asked to identify a term that best approximates the meaning of risk,
they would always respond with the terms panganib, pagsubok and
pakikipagsapalaran (Sobritchea and Ujano-Batangan 2004 ; Tan et al.
2000). The term panganib denotes negative outcomes/consequences of
risk-taking, while the terms pagsubok and pakikipagsapalaran mean
taking up the challenge with no definitive expectation of the nature of
the consequences. Most adolescents use panganib in describing sexual
risks, mirroring an inclination to define the consequences of risk taking
Chic, chèque choc 181
References
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