Pag-ibig (Love), Pagnanasa (Desire) :

Filipino adolescents and sexual risks

Maria Theresa D. Ujano-Batangan*

Introduction

The total Philippine population is pegged at 84.2 million (ISSA 2005).

Based on the 2000 statistics, there are 101 males to 100 females.
According to the Young Adult Fertility Survey (2002), there are 15.0
million young individuals in the 15-24 age group ; of this figure, 7.9 mil-
lion are within the 15-19 age range, and 7.1 million are between the
ages 20 to 24 years old. The Philippine Statistical Yearbook (PSY) 2004
report further noted the following distribution among the youth : 8.9
million are within the age range of 10-14 ; 8 million are within the 15-
19 age group ; and 7 million are within the 20-24 age group. Using the
WHO definition of adolescence, adolescents aged 10-20 years old
comprise a significant portion of the Philippine population.
The period of adolescence among Filipinos is best defined by the
local terms, pagbibinata and pagdadalaga. These words reflect the
process of becoming and a stage of blossoming, from childhood to
adulthood, a process that is believed to be replete with challenges cen-
tred not only around the definition of one’s self, but also on establishing

* Psychologist, University of the Philippines Diliman, tdujanobat@ gmail. com

Ujano-Batangan, M. T. D. 2012. Pag-ibig (Love), Pagnanasa (Desire) : Filipino
Adolescents and Sexual Risks. In Chic, chèque, choc. Transactions autour des corps et
stratégies amoureuses contemporaines. 169-182. Actes des colloques genre et déve-
loppement. Berne : DDC-Commission suisse pour l’UNESCO ; Genève : IHEID.
170 Maria Theresa D. Ujano-Batangan

one’s perspectives and values regarding the different domains of one’s

sexuality. In conceptualizing the characteristics of the period of adoles-
cence, various themes have emerged from research done in this area
(Sobritchea and Ujano-Batangan 2003), including :

• Adolescence as a period covering different age ranges. Some respon-

dents defined this to be the period of 10-19 years of age, while
others pegged this at 13 to 24 years. Others differentiated
between 13-19 years as the teenage years, while 15-30 years were
described as the age of youth. Based on this, there seemed to be
an ambiguity in defining which ages in particular are included in
adolescence.
• Adolescence as a developmental stage characterized by particular, typi-
cal and shared developmental tasks and characteristics ; variations of
which are related to individual and contextual factors. These develop-
mental changes are further categorized into : physical/biological
changes, cognitive changes, and socio-emotional changes.
• Adolescence as a point of transition from childhood to adulthood. Most
respondents believe that adolescence is a point whereby the indi-
vidual learns the necessary skills that are needed for dealing with
adult concerns and challenges.

Adolescence is known as a time of extensive changes occurring in the

various facets of human development. It is at the period of adoles-
cence when Filipino males and females explore intimate and sexual
relationships. Adolescence is a critical time for experimentation and
risk taking.
The results of the Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Study (YAFS)
(Natividad and Marques, 2004) show that 31.3 % of male respondents
and 15.7 % of female participants reported that they have had sex.
Among the 15 to 19 age group, 17.8 % of males and 6.0 % of females
answered in the affirmative when asked if they had had sex. Of those
who had sex from the said age group, 43.8 % of males and 28.1 % of
females stated that they had wanted it to take place the first time.
These results show that for a majority of these adolescents, their first
sexual intercourse was either unplanned or against their will. Very few
of the respondents used some form of contraception during their first
sexual coitus (males : 32.5 % ; females : 12.3 %) and during their last
Chic, chèque choc 171

intercourse (males : 27.3 % ; females : 17.1 %). Furthermore, 44.8 % of

male adolescents in the 15 to 19 age group stated that they have more
than one sex partner ; while 10.5 % of the females reported the same.
The YAFS study also reported that 11 % of the Filipino males and
females sample aged 15-24 have experienced sex partners of the same
gender (Crisostomo 2003). Males account for 52.6 % of the responses,
while females account for 47.2 %. Most of the participants reported
that they have engaged in such behaviours while still in school. Only
46.4 % of same sex partnerships are “paid”, the rest “happened because
they are in a relationship”.
Gleaning from the aforementioned findings, it is important to
understand the adolescents’ contexts and constructions of these sex-
ual relationships and their attendant risks. This is a necessary step to
ensure that services provided to them are appropriate and relevant, as
the period of adolescence is also an opportune period for interven-
tions which would allow young individuals to acquire the necessary
cognitive, emotional and social skills necessary for addressing the
demands of intimate and sexual relationships.

Objective and scope

This presentation will summarize findings from research and work-

shops we have conducted with different sub-populations and subcul-
tures of young individuals (i.e. in-school and out-of-school ; rural and
urban ; abused and prostituted adolescents ; across socio-economic sta-
tus) in the area of adolescent sexuality and sexual health, focusing on
the contexts and constructs of young Filipinos engaged in sexual part-
nerships, and the implications of these contexts and constructs in
terms of the sexual risks they face in this phase of their development.
This is by no means an exhaustive discussion on the said topic.

Findings

Contexts and constructs of sexual partnerships

Barkada (Peer Group)

While it is clear that friendships are vital throughout life, there seems
to be something special about the role of the peer group or barkada,
172 Maria Theresa D. Ujano-Batangan

during adolescence. Peer groups provide adolescents with a source of

social activities and support. It is in this context that they are able to
explore and experiment, given the relatively egalitarian atmosphere
pervading among peer relationships. The barkada also facilitates friend-
ships with the opposite sex, with friendships identified by most of the
young respondents as the context of romantic relationships. It is in or
through their peer group or barkada that adolescents usually meet
their future partner/s. If romantic relationships are established outside
the group, the boy/girl friends are integrated into the young individuals’
peer group. The peer group allows, pushes and mediates the develop-
ment of the relationship. They also help in the reconciliation and termi-
nation of relationships.
Proximity plays a very crucial role in allowing individuals to get to
know each other and for attraction to ensue. Friends are chosen (at
least initially) from a pool of peers who share the same social environ-
ment. In adolescence, friends go to the same school, belong to the
same organisation, same community, same territory/gangs (for young
people living in the streets) and are similar in ethnic and socioeco-
nomic status. Similarity of demographic characteristics, personal attrib-
utes, activities, and social behaviour, are observed among friends, and
facilitate the “liking” process. Generally, adolescent friends tend to be
similar in academic attitudes, achievement and aspirations and enjoy
the same leisure activities. Similarity between friends makes it easier to
achieve an intimate relationship.
Young females rationalise their decision to have sex based on
what they perceived to be the norms in their peer group. Susceptibility
to conformity with peer group standards is typical among adolescents
who are still in the process of negotiating their own values amidst the
differing influences of various individuals and groups in their lives (e.g.
friends, parents, teachers, etc.). Conformity to peer group norms is a
consequence of the adolescents’ tendency to be more sensitive to the
needs and standards of others, placing them ahead of their own.
Investigations into adolescent peer groups revealed that peers might
be one of the primary reasons for adolescents’ initiation to sex ; how-
ever, more females than males are pressured into premarital sex by
peers. Sexual behaviours among girls are greatly influenced by the
behaviour of their same sex friends. Males, on the other hand, appear
to pick their friends based on similarity in sexual activity.
Chic, chèque choc 173

While intimate relationships first arise in early adolescence, it is

not a unique feature of this stage. Adolescents also value forms of inti-
mate self-disclosure or sharing of intimate information among their
own friends. These intimate conversations contribute to the adoles-
cent’s sense of self-worth, as well as to the development of social skills
and the sense of security necessary for close relationships later in life.
Being able to talk and disclose information yields positive feelings of
self-affirmation, which can be the context for romantic relationships.

Paglabas (Dating)
Because of the term’s romantic and sexual connotations, dating is not
seen as a salient stage in the process of building a romantic relation-
ship among Filipino adolescents, especially in rural areas. Although
those in the urban centres and upper income groups may use the
term, most adolescents prefer to use the term lumalabas which
roughly translates to “going out together”. Research shows that the
purposes of paglabas among young individuals are :

• Recreation
• Companionship
• Status grading
• Socialisation for personal and social growth
• Sexual experimentation and satisfaction
• Partner selection
• Intimacy

Oftentimes, the process of paglabas is initiated within the peer group.

Adolescents seldom go out with individuals they are not familiar with,
except when members of their barkada are present. Places where ado-
lescents frequent at this stage are malls, food establishments, movie
houses, cafés, plazas, churches, etc. It is only after attaining a greater
level of comfort and intimacy that potential partners go out on their
own, which is when negotiations on physical boundaries and sexual
intimacy commence. Though sexual intercourse is not considered to
be “socially acceptable” at this point, adolescents may chose to
explore various sexual behaviours.
Research on dating among adolescents in the Philippines identified
gender differences in the values males and females place on the prac-
174 Maria Theresa D. Ujano-Batangan

tice of dating. Males perceive dating as a means to “satisfy sexual

desires” ; on the other hand, females see it as a way to “get to know
the person better”. This is also related to variations on how they per-
ceive romantic relationships. Most males consider having relationships
as sources of “experience”, “fun” and “pleasure”. Females on the other
hand, consider “going steady” to assess their future partners in mar-
riage. It is interesting to note that when males were asked as to what
particular traits they would want their partner to possess, almost all
the respondents, regardless of economic status, considered physical
attractiveness, being demure, being sweet and being educated as essen-
tial. The female respondents, on the other hand, prefer their boyfriends
to be responsible, loving, sincere and honest. Those in the lower
income group expressed the importance of having a partner who is
financially stable. While Filipino adolescent males initially focus on the
external attributes of their partners, females tend to look for indica-
tors of emotional maturity from their partners.

Kami Na
Young adolescents are engaged in various types of sexual relation-
ships : they use the terms “committed” to signal a steady relationships
and “casual” for sexual partnerships that are considered to be
“fleeting” and “temporary”. Beyond these two lay transactional sexual
relationships.
Committed relationships are believed to be characterized by pag-
ibig (love). They usually use the phrase kami na (a rough and crude
translation of this phrase is “it’s us”) to verbalise the existence of a
committed relationship. The word kami connotes “being one with the
other” and denotes the merging of individualities and identities.
Committed relationships therefore include the expectation of blurring
physical and psychological boundaries among partners. In some cases,
this is coupled with the female’s identity being subsumed under the
male’s identity. Terms used to denote the partner are syota,
girlfriend/boyfriend, bu, steady, hubby, mama/papa, mahal, babes, etc.
Love for young individuals is associated with being together, which
allows each person “to get to know the other and deepen the rela-
tionship”. This need to be together necessitates spending more time
together alone, which allows the partners to explore each other’s sex-
uality.
Chic, chèque choc 175

Adolescents believe that it is in the context of committed rela-

tionships that sexual activities are justifiable. Almost all of the female
respondents and some of the male respondents in the research noted
that they had sex with their partners as an expression of their love for
the latter. Young individuals seldom use or verbalize lust as the basis
for physical intimacy in committed relationships, which would be sim-
ply considered as bastos or profane. Invocations of love (“love con-
quers all”) are very important, cutting across gender, socio-economic
status, and variability of adolescent experiences. While love justifies
sexual exploration, the search for one’s “true love” delays sexual debut
among adolescents. This need to find the one that is “meant to be”
one’s partner leads some individuals to abstain from sex or even from
any committed and casual sexual partnerships.
Young individuals view romantic relationships as being extremely
important for emotional support, providing them with constant com-
panionship in their daily activities and concerns. Relationships are
believed to evolve over time, though the notion of time is not mea-
sured solely in terms of days or months. Adolescents talk about
tamang panahon (right time) for sexual intimacy to ensue. This notion
of “right time” is negotiated in the relationship. Some adolescents go
through the phase of M.U. or mutual understanding, where there is no
commitment but there is recognition of the attraction and affection
for each other. This may serve as a transition point to the emergence
of a committed relationship. Adolescents believe that one should only
engage in a romantic relationship when one is prepared ; preparedness
for them entails “maturity” – which they defined as the ability to han-
dle the demands of the relationship. Sexual activities like necking, pet-
ting, and penetrative sex are closely tied with the level of intimacy
achieved in the relationship. The value given to pananagutan (responsi-
bility) and pagtitiwala (trust) are factored in significantly when defining
a committed relationship.
The intense feelings of love and desire (pagnanasa) are considered
to be intertwined and essential in a committed relationship ; as such,
the presence of the former legitimises sexual intimacy. The participants
assume that when they are in love, sex will spontaneously happen.
Adolescent females also report that they had sex with their
boyfriends to be able to keep them in their relationship. Holding on to
their partners through sex assures them that they are still in love.
176 Maria Theresa D. Ujano-Batangan

Some male participants would also consciously plan on getting their

girlfriends pregnant to permanently tie them into the relationship.
Some of the females expressed fear in the possible consequences
of their refusal to respond to their partners’ sexual demands. Their
apprehension stems from various, expected consequences if they
decline, such as : their partners “will get mad” at them, “will look for
someone who is sexually available”, “will leave” them, or “will get emo-
tionally hurt”. Males play on these fears in the process of initiating sex.
There are instances when notions and meanings associated with
love – such as trust, responsibility, and desire to have children – are capi-
talised upon by males to force their partners into sexual submission,
even if this is against the latter’s will. Love may then be used as a justifi-
cation in controlling one’s partner, without due recognition of the lat-
ter’s rights. Unfortunately, even the female participants do not recognise
their claim to sexual rights in the context of a romantic relationship.
Some of the female adolescents also stated “impending marriage”,
which is an indication of the “seriousness” of the partner’s commit-
ment to the relationship, as reason for having sex. Tan et al. (2001) pur-
ported that “love and procreation sacralises sex and makes it accept-
able even before marriage in certain circumstances… if love is present
and if marriage is impending, then premarital sex may be allowed.”
The practice of using condoms in committed relationships is
oftentimes considered as generally unacceptable. For one, the readi-
ness/availability of condoms demonstrates that the partner (especially
the male) has been thinking and planning on having sex, which is con-
trary to the perspective that sex should be spontaneous. This is also
not in consonance with the belief that sex in the context of a commit-
ted relationship is sacred. This issue is further complicated with the
notions of trust and responsibility that govern adolescent relation-
ships : when you trust someone, you should not feel the need to pro-
tect yourself and when you are a responsible partner, you need to be
accountable for the consequences.

Libog
“Casual” sexual partnerships come with different labels/phrases, such
as “one night stand”, “flirtation”, “Fubu (fuck buddies, friends with ben-
efits)”, “SEB (sex eyeball)” “seks lang”, etc. More adolescent males
admit to having these types of sexual partnerships than females. These
Chic, chèque choc 177

terms denote that such partnerships are only “for releasing sexual
energies” or “sexual urges”, which adolescents locally call libog (lust).
Lust is conceptualized by adolescents as something biological, charac-
terised by bodily sensations that trigger arousal and create tension,
which needs to be released/addressed. Some adolescents, most of
whom are males, would tend to compartmentalise the concepts of lust
and love, reporting that they love their partners in committed rela-
tionships but lust after another individual. This compartmentalisation
allows individuals to explore sexual partnerships outside of committed
relationships, which can lead to a condition of heightened risk.
Adolescents believe that the noncommittal nature of “casual”
sexual partnerships allow individuals to be more open to explore
sexual activities, without the need for committed relationships. The
nature of partnerships ranges from “one night stands” to “fuck bud-
dies” (FBs). While the former is characterised by non-permanent
partnerships, the latter is characterised by a certain level of regularity,
based on mutual need to sexually satisfy one another. It is however a
cardinal rule among FBs that none should fall in love with the other in
the process. Some adolescents, especially females, find these casual
sexual partnerships as more “liberating” because they can negotiate
the terms/conditions of engagement. One such condition may be on
the form of protection, such as condom use.
Another form of sexual partnership, mainly driven by lust and
desire, is the transactional relationship. These types of partnerships
also characterised some adolescent relationships. Prostituted adoles-
cents would narrate their experiences, highlighting their recognition
that their bodies serve as objects of desire and as commodities in
transactions. Though some of them are in committed relationships,
they have learned to compartmentalise their lives as partners and as
commercial sex workers (CSWs). Some even define boundaries, physi-
cal and behavioural, based on this form of compartmentalisation, not
allowing their “customers” to kiss them on the lips (for females) for
example, or not allowing them to give them oral sex (for males). Some
CSWs narrate experiences of dissociating themselves from their
bodies in the process of engaging in sex with a “customer”, which
allow them to cope with the dissonance that they feel. They may also
use drugs to “deaden the bodily sensations” they feel or to lessen
their inhibition in the sexual act.
178 Maria Theresa D. Ujano-Batangan

The “payment” for sex received by adolescent CSWs includes

money, cell phones, cell phone load, tuition fees, clothes, access to par-
ticular high-end establishments, etc. Some transactional sexual partner-
ships may also become regular relationships later on. Variations on
condom use are observed in these partnerships. “Customers” may
prevent male CSWs from using condoms, and as they are being paid,
the men easily oblige. On the other hand, female CSWs oftentimes do
not know or assert their rights to be protected. Informed adolescent
CSWs may use condoms in their initial encounters with the “cus-
tomer”, but refrain from doing so when the “customer” becomes a
regular partner. More often than not, CSWs do not use condoms in
the context of committed relationships.
Cyber space also presents additional contexts for casual and
transactional sexual partnerships. Unlike physical, face-to-face sexual
encounters, cyber sex presents a “safer” context for exploring one’s
sexuality. Some adolescents report that they prefer to engage in casual
cyber relationships because they will not get pregnant or contract sex-
ually-transmitted infections (STIs) and HIV/AIDS, and are less vulnera-
ble to sexual abuse. They are also able to explore various persona as
they engage with possible partners in cyber space. They recognize,
however, the risk of “violations”, when pictures or videos are “leaked”
in cyber space, of dealing with “competition”, or gaining a “negative
reputation” that would block them from participating in particular chat
rooms or groups. Initial sexual encounters in cyber space do not nec-
essarily lead to sex eyeball, but if this should happen, the process of
getting to know each other and engaging is thus facilitated. Sexual per-
formance also becomes highly important in such a setting. Depending
on what is considered to be desirable, there will be preferences for
particular body types, sexual orientation and partnerships.

Toma, droga
According to young individuals, one of the salient factors that leads to
initiation of sexual intercourse in committed and casual relationships is
their participation in gateway behaviours. Gateway behaviours are
defined as “mildly or moderately distressing activities, frequently self-
destructive”, which often progress to increasingly risky behaviours
(Whirtier et al. 2004). There is increasing evidence that these behav-
iours – e.g. getting intoxicated (toma), doing drugs (droga) – are linked
Chic, chèque choc 179

to more serious activities which place young people at imminent risk.

The gateway behaviour prominent among young males and females is
getting drunk.
Doing drugs is another gateway behaviour that cannot be conclu-
sively discounted as a risk factor in teenage sexual activities. Research
participants have reported using marijuana and shabu (methampheta-
mine) prior to engaging in sex, especially casual and transactional sex,
though they did not attribute their sexual activities as being triggered
by said behaviour. These gateway behaviours facilitate the process of
engaging in unplanned and unprotected sex.

Control, curiosity, gratification

Another theme that emerged in discussions among adolescents is the
perception that they do not have control over their feelings, their
partner’s feelings and their subsequent behaviours. This response is
more frequently attributed/associated with female adolescents. There
is an observed outright acceptance of their perceived lack of control
over their sexual behaviours and their submission to the sexual
demands of their partners. They rationalised this by believing that this
is what is expected in an intimate relationship. Unlike females, per-
ceived lack of control reported by males is attributed to the presence
of gateway behaviours, such as consuming alcohol or doing drugs. They
see alcohol as triggering sexual excitement and inhibiting their ability
to think logically. Consequently, they report that their judgment
becomes clouded, even when faced with the possible consequences of
their action.
Perceived lack of control is also associated to the notion of the
“naturalness” of male sexual libido. Some of the males in the studies
and workshops stated that male innately have an “interest in sex” as
well as lust. They believe that once they have been excited and stimu-
lated, they cannot do anything about their desire to have intercourse.
This is further reinforced with the view that masculinity is tied with
sexual experience and sexual prowess. Curiosity on the kind of pleasure
that the act of sex can bring, as well as the expectation of gratification
are other factors that contribute to the decision to have sexual inter-
course, according to male adolescents.
180 Maria Theresa D. Ujano-Batangan

Katawan
Another factor that complicates the adolescent sexual exploration is
their ignorance of their own bodies (katawan). Most young people are
never encouraged to explore their bodies and the sensations associ-
ated with each body part. As they go through the changes brought
about by puberty, they become more curious about the changes they
are going through and try to secure information on this. They depend
most of the time on peers, the Internet and other forms of mass media,
for information. Unfortunately, the content of mass media creates unre-
alistic expectations of the adolescent body, which further on increases
the dissatisfaction of adolescents with their own bodies (especially
among females) leading to other risks and problems. They gain dis-
torted information particularly about the human body and more gener-
ally about human sexuality. Myths regarding fertility, STIs, HIV/AIDS,
pregnancy, contraception and protection still haunt young people, dis-
abling them in making sound decisions regarding their sexuality.

Sexual Risks
Filipino adolescent and adult respondents agree that the following are
the top five risk conditions confronted by young people (Sobritchea
and Ujano-Batangan 2003) : domestic violence/violence in intimate
relationships ; lack of access to adolescent reproductive health
services ; lack of education on sexuality and reproductive health ; ado-
lescent unsafe/risky sexual activities and behaviours ; and mental health
issues and problems (i.e. depression and suicide ideation).
At risk behaviours that adolescents engage in which increase the
likelihood of adverse psychological, social and health consequences can
be classified into the following : problem behaviours ; health related
behaviours ; and school behaviours. The concept of risk does not have
any direct translation in Filipino. Whenever adolescents and adults are
asked to identify a term that best approximates the meaning of risk,
they would always respond with the terms panganib, pagsubok and
pakikipagsapalaran (Sobritchea and Ujano-Batangan 2004 ; Tan et al.
2000). The term panganib denotes negative outcomes/consequences of
risk-taking, while the terms pagsubok and pakikipagsapalaran mean
taking up the challenge with no definitive expectation of the nature of
the consequences. Most adolescents use panganib in describing sexual
risks, mirroring an inclination to define the consequences of risk taking
Chic, chèque choc 181

as negative. In further pursuing the meaning of risk, adolescents per-

ceive risks as factors that impede an individual’s functioning, positive
development, and the exercise and protection of one’s rights. These
concepts are related to the issues of perceived control, passivity, and
probability.
Based on the statistics on abortion, the estimated number of
abortions per year is 400,000, with an abortion rate of 25 women per
1,000, aged 15-44 (ISSA 2005). Abortion rates are at 16 per 100 preg-
nancies, with approximately 4 out of 10 of abortion complications
treated in hospitals occurring among female youth 15-24, according to
the YAFS two study sites.
Adolescents also experience violence in intimate partnerships.
Several studies have noted that, more often than not, females are the
ones coerced and violated by their sexual partners. The different physi-
cal forms of violence that females experience in intimate relationships
include being slapped, dragged, spat on, drugged, punched, slammed,
pushed/shoved, gripped tightly, slashed with a knife, kicked, choked,
chained, pinched, threatened, thrown things at, and pulled by the hair.
They also go through other forms of physical, psychological and eco-
nomic abuse : rape, neglect, economic control, and being berated and
humiliated. Prostituted young females have also experienced all these
types of abuses from their male customers. A handful of males admit-
ted to being physically abused by their partners. Individuals who have
experienced abuse in intimate relationships (unless they break free and
heal), are further cowed into submission, unable to assert themselves,
and have their rights to be respected and protected. Even after the
physical wounds have healed, the psychological trauma still persists.
Abuse is further related to the lowering of an individual’s sense of self-
worth and self-efficacy.
Worth (1996) noted that there is difficulty among females in “dis-
tinguishing love and abuse”. She attributed this to the commonly held
belief among women that loving their partners entails being sexually
available to them. Cultures have always portrayed “women as empty
vessels where emotional and sexual fulfilment comes through reflect-
ing their male lover’s passion rather than their own”. This is further
reinforced by the process of socialization where young individuals are
made to believe that “gender roles are natural which contribute to the
beliefs that risky sexual behaviours are unavoidable” (Shears 2002).
182 Maria Theresa D. Ujano-Batangan

All these contexts and constructs associated with adolescent

sexual relationships provide conditions of vulnerability to risks, which
impedes their development of healthy sexual identity and their claim
to sexual rights in sexual relationships. Intervention programs need to
consider and further explore these factors in the process of developing
relevant and appropriate strategies to reach young individuals in sexual
and reproductive health promotion.

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