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    Exploring Our Many Selves

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    Karim Momin
    1) As children, we develop certain energies or qualities that help get our needs met and avoid disapproval from others. 2) These dominant energies become our primary selves, which take care of us and make our lives work as well as possible. 3) There are usually a group of primary selves that work together as a team to make most decisions for us.

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    Exploring Our Many Selves

    Uploaded by

    Karim Momin
    21 views1 page
    1) As children, we develop certain energies or qualities that help get our needs met and avoid disapproval from others. 2) These dominant energies become our primary selves, which take care of us and make our lives work as well as possible. 3) There are usually a group of primary selves that work together as a team to make most decisions for us.

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    1) As children, we develop certain energies or qualities that help get our needs met and avoid disapproval from others. 2) These dominant energies become our primary selves, which take care of us and make our lives work as well as possible. 3) There are usually a group of primary selves that work together as a team to make most decisions for us.

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    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    21 views1 page

    Exploring Our Many Selves

    Uploaded by

    Karim Momin
    1) As children, we develop certain energies or qualities that help get our needs met and avoid disapproval from others. 2) These dominant energies become our primary selves, which take care of us and make our lives work as well as possible. 3) There are usually a group of primary selves that work together as a team to make most decisions for us.

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    LIL Quark-Part One 1/22/01 8:49 AM Page 57

    Exploring Our Many Selves • 57

    us. If we express an energy that invokes approval and positive


    attention, we are likely to continue to develop that quality. On the
    other hand, if something we do draws disapproval, criticism, or
    punishment, we are likely to discontinue it (unless that is the only
    form of attention we can get, in which case we may continue it).
    Fairly soon, we have a pretty good sense of which energies help
    us get our needs met and which ones seem to cause us more prob-
    lems than they are worth. This varies greatly according to each
    individual, family system, time period, and culture.
    As we grow up, we continue to develop the energies that seem
    to work best to meet our needs. We become very identified with
    these qualities; that’s who we think we are. These dominant ener-
    gies become our primary selves — the inner characters whose job
    it is to take care of us and make our lives work as well as possible.
    There are usually a group of primary selves who work togeth-
    er as a team, making most of our decisions for us. For example,
    some of my primary selves are the super-responsible one, the
    pleaser (who wants to make everyone happy so they will like me),
    the pusher (who wants me to work hard and accomplish a lot), the
    caretaking mother (who takes care of the child in other people so
    that they’ll feel good with me), the consciousness teacher/healer.
    There are a number of others on the team as well. They have all
    worked very hard to make me a worthy, well-loved, and successful
    person.
    For every primary self, there is an opposite energy, which
    oftentimes has been repressed or denied because one way or anoth-
    er we got the message that it was not okay, or because it simply has-

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