So, what am I supposed

to do with you, professor?

Why are you supposed to do anything?

Well, like I said, this ain't none of my doing.

When I left out of here

going to work this morning...

...you wasn't no part of my plans,

but here you is.

Doesn't mean anything. Everything that

happened doesn't mean something else.

- What's it mean, then?

- Doesn't mean anything.

You run into people and maybe

some of them are in trouble or whatever...

...but it doesn't mean

you're responsible for them.

Mm-hm.

Anyway, people who are always looking

out for perfect strangers...

...are very often people

who won't look out for the ones...

...they're supposed to look out for,

in my opinion.

If you're just doing what you're

supposed to, you don't get to be a hero.

- And that would be me?

- I don't know. Would it?

I can see how there might be some truth

in that, but in this particular case...

...I didn't know what sort of person

I was supposed to be on the lookout for...

...or what I was supposed to do

when I found them.

In this particular case but one thing to go by.

- And that was...?

- That was that they is standing there...

...and I have to look at them and say,

"Now, he don't look like my brother...
...but there he is,
so maybe you'd better look again."

And that's what you did?

Well, I got to say, uh,

you was kind of hard to ignore.

Your approach was pretty direct.

I didn't approach you.

I didn't even see you.

What I don't understand is how

you come to get yourself in such a fix.

Yeah.

Are you all right?

Did you sleep last night?

No.

Well, when did you decide

that today was the day?

- Was there something special about it?

- No.

Well, today is my birthday,

but I certainly don't regard that as special.

- Well, happy birthday, professor.

- Thank you.

So you seen your birthday was coming

and that seemed like a good day?

Who knows? Maybe birthdays

are dangerous, like Christmas.

Ornaments hanging from the trees,

wreaths from the doors...

...and bodies from the steam pipes

all over America.

That don't say much for Christmas, do it?

Christmas is not what it used to be.

Now I believe that to be a true statement.

I surely do.

I've gotta go.

You always put your coat on like that?

What's wrong with the way I put my coat on?

I ain't said nothing was wrong.
I'm asking if that's your regular method.

I don't have a regular method.

I put it on.

- Mm-hm.
- It's, what, effeminate? What?

I'm just studying the ways of professors.

Well, I've gotta go.

Let me get my coat.

- Get your coat?

- Yeah.

- Where are you going?

- Going with you.

What do you mean?

Going with me where?

- Going with you wherever it is you're going.

- No, you're not.

- Yeah, I am.
- I'm going home.

- All right.
- All right? You're not going home with me.

Sure I am. Let me get my coat.

- You can't go home with me.

- Why?

- You can't.
- Oh, what...

...you can go home with me,

but I can't go home with you?

No. I mean, no, that's not it.

I just need to go home.

- You live in an apartment?

- Yes.

- What, they don't let black folk in there?

- No.

I mean, yes, of course they do.

Look, no more jokes.

I've got to go. I'm very tired.
All right, long as you don't run
into no hassle about getting me in there.

- You're serious.
- Oh, I think you know I'm serious.

- You can't be serious.

- Serious as a heart attack.

- Why are you doing this?

- Me? I ain't got no choice.

- Of course you have a choice.

- No, I ain't.

Who appointed you my guardian angel?

You know who appointed me your guardian angel.

I ain't ask for you to jump into my arms

down at the subway this morning.

- I didn't jump into your arms.

- You didn't?

- No.
- Well, how'd you get there then?

What? Now we ain't going?

Do you really think Jesus is in this room?

No.

I don't think he's in this room.

I know he's in this room.

It's the way you put it, professor.

It'd be like me asking you if you think

you got your coat on.

It's not the same thing.

It's a matter of agreement.

If you and I say that I have my coat on...

...and Cecil says that I'm naked

and have green skin and a tail...

...we might want to think about where we

should put Cecil so he doesn't hurt himself.

- Who's Cecil?
- He's not anybody. He's just a hypothetical.

There's not any Cecil. He's just a character

I made up to illustrate a point.

- Made up?
- Yes.

- So his view of things don't count?

- No. That's why I made him up.

I could have changed things around.

I could have made you the one

who didn't think I was wearing a coat.

And was green and that other shit you said?

- Yes.
- But you didn't.

- No.
- You load it all off on Cecil.

Yes.

But Cecil can't defend himself...

...on account that he ain't in agreement

with everybody else...

...so his word don't count...

...aside from the fact that you made him up

and he's green and everything.

He's not the one who's green. I am.

Where is this going?

- I'm just trying to find out about Cecil.

- I don't think so.

- Can you see Jesus?

- No, I can't see him.

- But you talk to him.

- Don't miss a day.

- And he talks to you.

- I have heard him, yes.

- Do you hear him, like, out loud?

- No, no, not out loud. I don't hear a voice.

I don't hear my own, for that matter.

But I have heard him.

But why couldn't Jesus just be in your head?

He is in my head.

Well, then I don't understand

what it is you're trying to tell me.

I know you don't, honey. Look...

...the first thing you got to understand...

...is I ain't got an original thought

in my head.

If it ain't got the lingering scent

of divinity to it, I ain't interested in it.

- The lingering scent of divinity.

- Yeah, you like that?

- It's not bad.

- Heard it on the radio. Black preacher.

The point is, is I done tried it the other way.

I don't mean no chipping, neither.

I mean blindfold, running through

the woods, bit in my teeth--

Lord, didn't I try it!

If you can find somebody

gave it a better shot than me...

...I'd like to meet him, I surely would.

- What you think that got me?

- I don't know. What did it?

- Life in death is what it got me.

- Life in death.

Too dead to even know enough to lay down.

I see.

I don't think so.

- Let me ask you a question.

- All right.

- You ever read this book?

- I've read parts of it. I've read in it.

- Have you ever read it?

- Read the Book of Job.

Have you ever read it?

No.

- But you is read a lot of books?

- Yes.
- How many, you say?
- I have no idea.

- Ballpark.
- Mm.

Two a week, maybe 100 a year,

for close to 40 years.

Two a week....

Forty times 100 is 4000.

I'm just messing with you, professor.

Tell you what. Give me a number,

any number you like...

...and I'll give you 40 times it back.

- 26.
- 1040.

- 118.
- 4720.

- 4720.
- Yep.

- The answer is the question.

- Say what?

- That's your new number.

- 4720?

- That's a big number, professor.

- Yes, it is.

- You know the answer?

- No, I don't.

188,800.

Let me see that.

How do you do that?

Numbers are the black man's friend.

Butter and eggs, crap table.

You quick with numbers, you can

work the mojo on your brother...

...confiscate the contents

of his pocketbook.

You get a lot of time to practice that shit

in the jailhouse.
I see.

Let's get back to you

and all these books you read.

You say you done read 4000 books?

- Probably, maybe more than that.

- But not this book.

- No, not the whole--

- Why is that?

I don't know.

Well, what would you say

is the best book ever wrote?

- I have no idea.
- Well, take a shot.

- There are a lot of good books.

- Pick one.

- Maybe War and Peace.

- All right.

Do you think that book's as good as this one?

I don't know.
They're different kinds of books.

This War and Peace book,

it's a book somebody made up, right?

Well, yes.

So is that what makes it different from this?

No, in my view they're both made up.

- Ain't neither one of them true?

- Not in the historical sense, no.

Hmm, hmm.

- Well, what would be a true book?

- I suppose maybe a history book.

Gibbon's Decline and Fall

of the Roman Empire might be one.

At least the events would be actual events.

They would be things that had happened.

Hmm. So you think that book

is as good a book as this book?
- The Bible?
- The Bible.

I don't know. Gibbon's is a cornerstone.

It's a major book.

- And a true book. Don't forget that.

- And a true book, yes.

But is it as good a book?

I don't know. I don't know as you can

make a comparison.

We're talking about apples and pears.

We ain't talking about no apples and pears.

We're talking about books.

Is that Decline and Fall book

as good a book as this here book?

Answer the question.

I'm gonna have to say no.

Used to say right here on the cover,

before it got wore down:

"The greatest book ever written."

- Think that might be true?

- It might.

- You read good books.

- I try to, yes.

But you ain't read the best book.

- Why is that?
- I've gotta go.

You don't need to go, professor.

Just stay here and visit with me.

You're afraid I'll go back to the train station.

- You might, so just stay here with me.

- What if I promised I wouldn't?

- You might anyway.

- Don't you need to go to work?

Ha, ha. I was on my way to work.

Funny thing happened to you on the way to work.

- Yes, it did.
- Will they fire you?

No, they ain't gonna fire me.

- You could call in.

- Ain't got no phone.

Anyhow, they know if I ain't there by now,

I ain't coming.

- Ain't a late sort of person.

- Why don't you have a phone?

Don't need one.

Junkies would steal it anyway.

- Get a cheap one.

- Don't get too cheap for a junkie.

Let's get back to you.

Let's stick with you for a minute.

- Can I ask you something?

- Sure you can.

Where were you standing?

I never saw you.

You mean when you took your amazing leap?

- Yes.
- I was on the platform.

- On the platform?
- Yeah.

Well, I didn't see you.

I was standing on the platform,

minding my own business.

Here you come hauling ass.

I looked all around to make sure there was

no one there, particularly no children.

- There was nobody around.

- No, just me.

Well, I don't know where you could have been.

Fixing to get spooky on me here, professor?

- Maybe I was behind a post or something.

- There wasn't any post.

What you saying,

you're looking at some big, black angel...
...got sent down here
to snatch your honky ass out of there...

...at the last possible minute

and save you from destruction?

- No, I don't think that.

- Such a thing ain't possible?

- No, it isn't.
- Well, you're the one suggested it.

I never suggested any such thing. You're

the one who put in the stuff about angels.

I never said anything about angels.

I don't believe in angels.

- Well, what is it you believe in?

- A lot of things.

All right.

- All right what?

- All right, what things?

- I believe in things.
- Give me a for instance.

Um, cultural things, for instance,

books, music, art, things like that.

All right.

Those are the things that have value to me.

They're the foundations of civilization.

Well, they used to have value to me.

They don't have so much value anymore, I guess.

What happened to them?

People stopped valuing them.

I stopped valuing them to a certain extent.

I'm not sure I can tell you why.

That world is largely gone now.

Soon it will be wholly gone.

I'm not sure I'm following you, professor.

There's nothing to follow. It's all right.

The things I loved were very frail,

very fragile.

I didn't know that.

I thought they were indestructible.

They weren't.

And that's what sent you off the edge of

the platform? It wasn't nothing personal?

Oh, it's personal.

That's what an education does.

It makes the world personal.

Well, them's some very

powerful words, professor.

And I can't say

that I got an answer to none of that.

And it might be that there ain't no answer.

But still I got to ask.

What's the use of having notions such as them...

...if they won't keep you glued down

to the platform...

...when the Sunset Limited

is coming through at 80 mph?

- Good question.
- I thought so.

I don't have an answer to any of that either.

Maybe it's not logical.

I don't know. I don't care.

I've been asked, didn't I think it odd...

...that I should be around to witness

the death of everything?

I do think it's odd.

But that doesn't mean it isn't so.

Somebody has to be here.

But you don't intend to hang around for it?

No, I don't.

Let me see if I got this straight.

You saying that all this culture stuff...

...is the only thing between you
and the Sunset Limited.

- It's a lot.
- But it busted out on you.

- Yes.
- You a culture junkie.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe I have no beliefs.

I believe in the Sunset Limited.

Damn, professor.

Damn indeed.

No beliefs?

The things I believed in...

...no longer exist.

It's foolish to pretend they do.

Western civilization finally went up in smoke...

...in the chimneys of Dachau,

and I was too infatuated to see it.

I see it now.

Whoo. You're a challenge, professor,

you know that?

Well, there's no reason for you

to become involved in my problems.

I should go.

- Have you got any friends?

- No.

- Come on, professor, not one?

- Not really, no.

- Tell me about that one.

- What one?

- The "not really" one.

- I have a friend at the university--

Not a close friend.

We have lunch from time to time.

But that's about as good as it gets?

- Yes.
- What'd you do to him?

- What'd I do to him?
- Yeah.

I didn't do anything to him. What makes

you think I did something to him?

- I don't know. Did you?

- No.

- What is it you think I did to him?

- I'm waiting on you to tell me.

There's nothing to tell.

You didn't leave him a note or nothing

to tell him you was taking the train?

- No.
- Your best friend?

- He's not my best friend.

- We just got done deciding he was.

You just got done deciding he....

- You tell him you was thinking about this?

- No, why should I?

He's your best friend.

He's-- I told you, we're not all that close.

- You're not all that close?

- No.

Your best friend, only you ain't all that close?

If you'd like.

Not the way you'd want to bother him

with a little thing like suicide?

Look...

...suppose I were to give you my word...

...that I would just go home...

...and I wouldn't try to kill myself

en route.

Suppose I was to give you my word...

...that I wouldn't listen

to none of your bullshit.
So, what am I, a prisoner here?

You know better than that.

You was a prisoner before you got here.

A death-row prisoner.

- What did your daddy do?

- What?

I said, what did your daddy do?

What kind of work?

He was a lawyer.

- A lawyer?
- Yeah.

What kind of law did he do?

He was a government lawyer. He didn't

do criminal law or anything like that.

What would be a thing like criminal law?

- I don't know. Divorce law, maybe.

- Mm-hm.

Maybe you got a point.

What'd he die of?

Who said he was dead?

- ls he dead?
- Yes.

- What did he die of?

- Cancer.

- Cancer. So he was sick for a while?

- Yes, he was.

- Did you go see him?

- No.

- How come?
- I didn't want to.

How come you didn't want to?

I don't know. I just didn't. I....

Maybe I didn't want to remember him that way.

Bullshit.

- Did he ask you to come?

- No.

- But your mama did.

- She may have. I don't remember.

Come on.
You know she asked you to come.

Okay, yes.

- What did you tell her?

- I said I would.

- But you didn't?

- No.

- How come?
- He died.

No, no, that ain't it.

You had time to go see him,

but you didn't do it.

- I suppose.
- You waited till he was dead.

Okay, so I didn't go see my father.

Your father is laying on his deathbed

dying of cancer.

Your mama's sitting there with him,

holding his hand. He in all kind of pain.

They ask you to come see him

one last time before he died.

And you tell them, "No, I ain't coming."

Please tell me I got some part of this wrong.

If that's the way you want to put it.

- Well, how would you put it?

- I don't know.

That's the way it is then, ain't it?

- I suppose.
- No, ain't no suppose.

- ls it or ain't it?
- Yes.

Whoo! Let me see if I can find

my train schedule...

...see when that next

uptown express is due.

I'm not sure I see the humor.

I'm glad to hear you say that, professor,

because I ain't sure either.

I get more amazed by the minute.

How come you can't see yourself, honey?

You're clear as glass.

I can see the wheels in there turning,

the gears.

I can see light too.

Good light, true light. Can't you see it?

No, I can't.

Well, bless you, brother.

Bless and keep you, because it's there.

When were you in the penitentiary?

- A long time ago.

- What were you in for?

- Murder.
- Really?

Now, who would claim to be a murderer

that wasn't one?

- You called it the jailhouse.

- Yeah.

Do most black people

call the penitentiary the jailhouse?

No, just us old country niggers.

We make a point to call things what they is.

I'd hate to think how many names

there is for the jailhouse.

I'd hate to have to count them.

Do you have a lot of jail house stories?

- Jailhouse stories?
- Yeah.

I don't know.
Uh, I used to tell jailhouse stories...
...but they kind of lost their charm.

Why don't we talk about something

a little more cheerful?

You ever been married?

- Married?
- Yeah.

- Oh, man.
- What?

Oh.

Maybe we ought to take another look

at them jailhouse stories.

Oh, my.

- Whoo.
- Do you have any children?

No, professor. I ain't got nobody.

Everybody in my family's dead.

I had two boys, but they died a long time ago.

Just about everybody I ever knowed

has died, for that matter.

You ought to think about that.

I might be a hazard to your health.

Were you always in a lot of trouble?

Yeah, I was. I liked it.

I think I still do.

I done seven years hard time. Could have

done a lot more. Hurt a lot of people.

I used to smack them around,

and they wouldn't get up no more.

- But you don't get in trouble now?

- No.

But you still like it?

Well, maybe I'm just condemned to it,

bit in the ass by my own karma.

But I'm on the other side now.

You want to help folk that's in trouble...

...you pretty much got to go
where the trouble's at.

You ain't got a lot of choice.

- How long have you been here?

- Oh, six, going on seven years.

- I don't understand why you live here.

- As opposed to where?

- Anywhere.
- Well, this pretty much is anywhere.

I could live in another building, I suppose,

but it's all right.

I got my bedroom over yonder

where I can get away.

Got a sofa where folk can crash.

Junkies and crackheads, mostly.

Of course they're gonna walk off with all

your portables, so you can't own nothing.

But that's good.

You hang out with the right crowd...

...you pretty much get over

all your worldly cravings.

They took the refrigerator one time,

but somebody caught them...

...out there on the stairs

and made them bring it back up.

Now I got that big sucker over yonder.

Traded up.

Only thing I miss is the music.

I aim to get me a steel door.

Then I can have me some music in here.

But you got to buy the door and the frame

at the same time.

I'm working on that.

I don't care nothing about television...

...but I sure do miss the music.

You don't think this is a terrible place?

- A terrible place?
- Yes.

- What are you talking about?

- This place.

It's a horrible place full of horrible people.

Oh, my.

You know these people are not worth saving...

...even if they could be saved,

which they can't.

You must know that.

Well, I like a challenge.

I started a ministry before I got out of prison.

Now that was a challenge.

There was a lot of brothers who showed up.

They ain't care nothing about it.

They ain't really care nothing about

the word of God.

They just wanted it on the résumé.

- Résumé?
- Résumé.

You got some brothers

in there had done some real bad shit.

And they weren't sorry

about a damn thing except getting caught.

But the funny thing was

a lot of them did believe in God...

...even more so than a lot of these people

out here on the outside.

I know I did.
You ought to think about that, professor.

- I think I'd better go.

- Oh, hey, hey.

You ain't got to go, professor.

Let me ask you something.

You ever had one of them days

where everything was just weird...
...all the way around when things
just kind of fell into place?

I'm not sure what you mean.

Just one of them days, kind of magic.

One of them days

where everything turned out right.

I don't know. Maybe. Why?

Well, I'm just wondering if it ain't been

maybe sort of long dry spell for you...

...till you took up with the notion

that that's the way the world is.

- The way the world is?

- Yeah.

- And how is that?

- You know, long and dry.

But the point is that

even if you feel that way...

...what you got to understand...

...is that the sun don't shine

up the same dog's ass every day.

You understand what I'm saying?

If you're saying I'm simply having

a bad day, that's ridiculous.

I ain't saying you're having

a bad day, professor.

- I'm saying you're having a bad life.

- You think I should change my life?

- What, you shitting me?

- Ha, ha. I have to go.

Look, just hang with me a little while longer.

What about my jailhouse story?

You don't need no jailhouse story.

Why not?

Well, you're suspicious

about everything already.

You think I'm trying to put you

in the trick bag.
And you're not?

Well, yeah, but I don't want you to know it.

Well, in any case, I have to go.

You ain't ready to go back out on them streets.

- I have to.
- I know you ain't got nothing you got to do.

How do you know that?

Because you ain't even supposed to be here.

I see your point.

What if I tell you a jailhouse story?

Will you stay then?

All right. I'll stay a while.

All right! The man says all right.

Okay, here go my jailhouse story.

ls it a true story?

Oh, yeah, it's a true story.

I don't know no other kind.

One day I'm in the chow line

and I'm getting my chow...

...when the nigger behind me

gets into it with the server.

Said the beans is cold.

So he throws the ladle down in the beans.

Well, when he done that

there was beans splashed up on me.

I didn't want to get into it over no beans,

but it did kind of piss me off some.

I'd just put on a clean uniform.

You know, khakis, shirt and trousers.

And you only get two a week.

So I said something to him, like:

"Hey, man, watch it."

Or something like that.

But I went on. I'm telling myself,

"Just let it go. Just let it go."

But then the nigger said something.

So I turned back.

And when I done that, he stuck a knife in me.

I ain't even see it coming.

Blood just flying everywhere.

This wasn't no jailhouse shiv, neither.

This was one of them Italian switchblades.

One of them black-and-silver jobs.

Well, I ain't do a thing but duck

and step back under the rail.

And I reached out

and I got hold of this table leg.

And it come off in my hand just as easy.

It had this long screw

sticking out the end of it.

And I went to wailing on that nigger's head!

And I ain't quit!

I ain't quit till you couldn't tell

it was a head no more!

That screw was stick in his head and I'd

have to put my foot on him to pull it out.

- What'd he say?
- What'd he say?

In the line, what did he say?

- I ain't gonna repeat it.

- That doesn't seem fair.

- Don't seem fair?

- No.

Here I am telling you a bona fide

blood-and-guts tale from the big house...

...the genuine article...

...and I can't get you to fill in the blanks

what the nigger said?

- Do you have to use that word?

- Use that word?
- Yes.
- We ain't making much progress here?

It just seems unnecessary.

You don't wanna hear "nigger,"

but you about to bail...

...because I won't tell you

some ugly shit the nigger said?

- You sure about this?

- I don't see why you have to use that word.

It's my story, ain't it?

Anyway, I don't remember there being

no African-Americans...

...or people of color in there.

To my recollection,
there was only a bunch of niggers!

Go ahead.

Now, at some point I must have

pulled the knife out...

...and dropped it on the floor

somewhere.

Meanwhile, I'm still wailing

on this nigger's head...

...but his friend has got ahold of me

from behind.

But I got one hand on the rail,

so I ain't going nowhere.

But what I don't know is that this dude

must have picked up the knife...

...and he's trying to gut me.

I felt the blood. I turned around

and I bust him in the head.

And he went skittering off across the floor.

And by now somebody done pushed

the button and the alarm is going.

Everybody's down on the floor

and we in lockdown.

The guard, up on the rail?

He got his shotgun pointed at me...

...and he's hollering:

"You! Get on the floor

and drop the weapon!"

He's about to shoot me

when the lieutenant tells him:

"Hold your fire! You!

Throw down that club!"

I looked around...

...and I was the only one standing.

I see the nigger's feet sticking out from

under the counter where he'd done crawled.

So I throwed the thing down.

I don't remember much after that.

They, um....

They told me I had lost almost half my blood.

I remember slipping around in it,

but I thought it was the other dude's.

- Did the man die?

- No, he didn't.

Everybody lived.

They thought he was dead, but he wasn't.

He wasn't right after that...

...so I ain't really had

no more trouble out of him.

He walked around with his head

kind of to the side...

...lost one eye...

...arm's hanging down,

didn't talk right.

They shipped him off to another facility.

But that's not the whole story.

- No, it ain't.
- So, what happened?

I woke up in the infirmary.

They had already done operated on me.
My spleen was cut open,
liver, I don't know what all.

I come pretty close to dying.

I had 280 stitches holding me together...

...and, whoo, I was hurting.

I didn't know you could hurt that much.

And still they had me in leg irons

and had me handcuffed to the bed...

...if you can believe that.

Now, as I lay there,

I heard this voice just as clear...

...couldn't have been no clearer.

And the voice said:

"If it was not for the grace of God

you would not be here."

Man, I tried to sit up and look around,

but I couldn't.

Wasn't no need to no how,

because wasn't nobody there.

I mean, there was somebody there, all right...

...but wasn't no need for me looking

around to see if I could see him.

You don't think this is a strange kind of story?

Yeah, I do think it's a strange kind of story.

No, what I mean is that you

didn't feel sorry for this man.

Oh, you getting ahead of the story.

The story of how a fellow inmate

became a crippled one-eyed halfwit...

...so that you could find God.

- Oh.
- Well, isn't it?

- I don't know.
- You hadn't thought of it that way?

Oh, yeah, hell, I thought of it that way.

Well, isn't that the true story?

Look, professor, I don't want to get

on the wrong side of you.

And you seem to have a powerful wish

for that to be the story...

...so I got to say that is one way

of looking at it.

I gotta concede that.

Gotta keep you interested.

- String me along.
- You all right with that?

And then put me in the, uh--

What is it? The trick bag?

- Yeah.
- Right.

You got to remember.

- This is a jailhouse story.

- All right.

- Which you specifically asked for.

- All right.

The point is, professor,

I ain't got the first notion in the world...

...about what makes God tick.

I don't know why he spoke to me.

- I know I wouldn't have.

- But you listened.

- What choice would you have?

- I don't know. Um....

Not listen.

You think he goes around talking to people...

...he knows ain't gonna listen to him

in the first place?

You think he got that kind of free time?

Why is it you people can't just accept it...

...that some people

don't even want to believe in God?

- I can accept that.

- You can?

Sure I can.
Meaning I believe that to be a fact.

I mean, I'm looking at it every day,

so I'd better accept it.

Then why can't you leave us alone?

Oh, to be hanging from steam pipes and all that?

If that's what we want to do, yes.

Because he said not to.

It's in here.

- Don't you want to be happy?

- Happy?

What, you got something against being happy?

- Ha, ha. God help us.

- What, I done opened up a can of worms?

- What you got against being happy?

- It's contrary to the human condition.

Contrary to your condition.

I gotta agree with that.

- Happy? Ha, ha.

- What, like there ain't no such thing?

- Not for nobody?

- No.

How did we get ourselves in such a fix as this?

We were born in such a fix as this.

Suffering and human destiny are the same thing.

Each is a description of the other.

We ain't talking about no suffering.

We're talking about being happy.

- You can't be happy if you're in pain.

- Why not?

You're not making any sense.

Oh, them is some hard words from the professor.

The preacher has fell back.

He's clutching his heart.
His eyes is rolled back in his head.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, folks.

The preacher's blinking.

He's coming back.

He's coming back.

The point is, professor,

that if you ain't got no pain in your life...

...how would you even know

when you was happy?

As compared to what?

You don't have anything to drink

around here, do you?

No, I don't.

ls you a drinking man?

- We about to get the temperance lecture?

- Not from me.

It's been a difficult day.

I take it you don't drink.

No, I don't.

I've done my share of it in my time, though.

- Are you in A.A.?

- No, no, no A.A. I just quit.

I've had a lot of friends

who was drinkers though.

Most of them for that matter.

Most of them dead too.

From drinking?

Well, from drinking

or reasons not too far from it.

I had a friend get run down

not too long ago by a taxicab.

Now where you think he was headed drunk?

I don't know. Where was he going?

Ha, ha. To get more whiskey.

He had plenty at the house, but drunks

are always scared they're gonna run out.

- Was he killed?
- I hope so. We buried him.

I suppose there's a moral to this story.

Just a story about what you get

and what you want.

Pain, happiness.

Let me tell you another one.

One Sunday...

...we's all sitting around the house

drinking. Sunday morning.

Well, here come this friend of ours

with this girl, Evelyn.

Now Evelyn was drunk when she got there,

but we told her:

"Go on in the kitchen,

fix yourself a drink."

Well, directly, my buddy Reg...

...he goes in the kitchen

to fix himself a drink.

Only now the bottle is gone.

Now, Reg having been around

a few drinking people in his time...

...commences to hunt for the bottle.

He looks in the cabinet, looks behind

everything, but he can't find it.

Of course he knows what's happened to it.

So he comes back in the living room,

sits down...

...looks at Evelyn sitting there

on the sofa drunk as a goat.

And he says,
"Evelyn, where you put the whiskey?"

Evelyn says:

He says,
"Evelyn, where did you hide the whiskey?"
And she says:

Well, Reg is sitting there and this is

beginning to piss him off a little...

...so he gets in her face and he says:

And she says,

"I hid it in the toilet."

- That's pretty funny.

- Oh, I thought you'd like that.

- ls that where the whiskey was?

- Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's a favorite place

for drunks to hide a bottle.

But the point is that the drunk's concern...

...ain't that he's going

to die from drinking, which he is...

...but that he's going to run out of whiskey

before he get a chance to do it.

ls you hungry?
Because I can come back to this.

- I ain't gonna lose my place.

- No, I'm all right. Go ahead.

If you hand a drunk a drink

and tell him he don't want it...

...what do you think he'd say?

- I think I know what he would say.

- Sure you do. You would be right.

- About him not really wanting it?

- Yes.

Because what he wants he can't get,

or thinks he can't get...

...so, what he really don't want

he can't get enough of.

So, what is it he really wants?

You know what he really wants.

- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do.

No, I don't.
- You don't know what he wants?
- No, I do not.

He wants what everybody wants.

- And that is?

- He wants to be loved by God.

Ha, ha. I don't want to be loved by God.

See, I love that.

I love the way you cut right to it.

See, he don't either, according to him.

All he wants is a drink of whiskey.

You're a smart man, professor.

Tell me which one makes sense

and which one don't.

- I don't want a drink of whiskey.

- I thought you just got done asking for one.

I mean as a general proposition.

We ain't talking general proposition.

We're talking about a drink.

- I don't have a drinking problem.

- You got some kind of problem.

Whatever kind of problem I have,

it is not something...

...that I imagine can be addressed

with a drink of liquor.

Mm. I love the way you put that.

Well, what can it be addressed with?

I think you know what it can be addressed with.

The Sunset Limited.

- Yes.
- That's what you really want.

That is what I want, yes.

Well, that's a mighty big

drink of whiskey, professor.

- That I don't really want?

- That you don't really want, yes.

- Well, I think I do want it.

- Of course you do, honey.

- If you didn't, we wouldn't be sitting here.

- I disagree with you.

All right, but that's the hand I'm playing.

I don't think you understand

that people such as myself...

...look upon this yearning for God

as something lacking in these people.

- Sure I do. I couldn't agree more.

- You agree with that?

Yes. What's lacking is God.

I am sorry, but to me this whole idea

of God is just a load of crap.

Oh, Lord have mercy!

Jesus help us.

The professor's done gone

and blasphemed all over us.

We ain't never gonna be saved now.

- You don't find that an evil thing to say?

- No, professor, I don't. But you does.

- No, I don't. It's simply a fact.

- No, it ain't simply no fact.

Now, that's the biggest fact about you.

In fact, it might just be the only fact.

- But you don't seem to think it's so bad.

- No, because I know it to be curable.

Now if you're asking me

what the man up there thinks about it...

...well, I imagine he done heard it

so much...

...that it don't bother him all that much.

I mean...

...what if somebody told you

you didn't exist...

...and you was sitting right there

listening to him say it?

- That wouldn't piss you off, would it?

- No, you'd just feel sorry for them.

Right, and you might even try

to get some help for them.

Now, in my case he had to holler out loud...

...me laying on a slab in two pieces...

...sewed back together where some nigger

done tried to core me like an apple.

But God being God...

...he can speak to your heart at any time.

And furthermore, if he spoke to me...

...which he did...

...he can speak to anybody.

"Wonder what this crazy nigger's

fixing to do now.

He's liable to put the mojo on me.

He'll be speaking in tongues here directly.

I need to get my ass out of here.

He's liable to steal my pocketbook.

I need to get my ass on down to that depot...

...before something bad happens to me."

Hey!

What are we gonna do with you, professor?

Look, I know I owe you a great deal,

at least in the eyes of the world.

Couldn't I just give you something

and we could call it square?

I'll give you some money, something like that.

I can give you $1000.

Well, that's not very much, I guess.

I can give you $3000, say.

You ain't got no notion of the trouble

you're in, do you?

- I don't know what you mean.

- I know you don't.
I'd just like to settle this in some way.

Ain't me you got to settle with.

Do you really think I was sent to you by God?

No, it's worse than that.

How do you mean?

Belief ain't like unbelief.

If you're a believer and you finally

got to come to the well of belief itself...

...then you ain't got to look no further.

There ain't no further.

But the unbeliever's got a problem.

He's set out to unravel the world.

For everything he can point to

that ain't true...

...he leaves two things laying there.

Do you really believe everything

that's in there, the Bible?

- The literal truth?

- Yes.

Uh, probably not, but then

you already know I'm an outlaw.

What is it you would disagree with?

Probably the notion of original sin.

You know, when Eve ate the apple,

turned everybody bad.

I don't see people that way.

I think for the most part

people was good to begin with.

I think evil is something

you bring on your own self...

...mostly from wanting things

you ain't supposed to have.

I ain't gonna tell you

about me being a heretic...

...when I'm trying to get you

to quit being one.

Are you a heretic?

- ls you trying to put me in the trick bag?

- No, I'm not. Are you?

No more than what a man ought to be...

...even a man with a powerful belief.

I ain't a doubter, but I am a questioner.

What's the difference?

A questioner wants the truth.

A doubter wants to be told

there ain't no such thing.

You don't think you have to believe

everything in there in order to be saved?

No. No, I don't.

I don't even think you have to read it.

I ain't even for sure you even got to know

there is such a book.

I think whatever truth

is wrote in the pages of this book...

...is wrote in the human heart,

and was wrote there a long time ago...

...and will be wrote there

a long time hence...

...even if every copy of this book

is burned. Every copy of it.

And what Jesus said,

I don't think he made up a word of it.

He just told it.

This book is a guide for the ignorant

and sick at heart.

A whole man wouldn't need it at all.

And if you was to read this book...

...you're gonna find there's more talk

in here about the wrong way...

...than there is the right way.

Why is that?
- I don't know. Why is it?
- Why don't you tell me?

- I'll have to think about that.

- Okay.

- Okay what?
- Okay, go on and think about it.

Might take me a little longer than you

to think about something.

- That's all right.

- That's all right?

Yeah. I mean, I can take that statement

in one or two ways.

I'm going to take it the good way.

That's my nature.

That way I get to live in my world, not yours.

What makes you think mine is so bad?

I don't think it's so bad.

I just know it's brief.

All right. I think the answer

to your question...

...is that the dialectic of the homily

always presupposes a ground of evil.

- Man.
- How's that?

That's strong as a mare's breath, professor.

Whoo! Wouldn't I love to lay some shit

like that on the brothers. Whoa.

It's just the two of us sitting here

in private, talking.

What'd you just say?

Your question.

The Bible is full of cautionary tales--

All of literature, for that matter.

- -telling us to be careful.
Careful of what?

Taking the wrong turn, the wrong path.

How many wrong paths are there?

Their number is legion.

How many right paths? Just one.

Hence the imbalance that you spoke of.

Man.

You know, you could go on TV, professor,

a good-looking man like yourself.

- You know that?

- Stop.

I'm serious. I wasn't even sure

you was a professor...

...till you laid that shit on me.

I think you're having fun at my expense.

- No, I ain't.
- Well, I think you are.

Honey, I swear I ain't. I couldn't say

a thing like you just got done saying.

- I admire that.
- And why do you keep calling me "honey"?

That's just the old south talking.

It don't mean nothing.

- I'll try and stop if it bothers you.

- I'm not sure what it means.

It means you're among friends.

It means quit worrying about everything.

That might be easier said than done.

Yeah, you're right. It might.

But we're just talking. Talking.

- Tell me something.
- Sure.

Why are you here?

What do you get out of this?

- You seem like a smart man.

- Me? Ha, a.

I'm just a dumb country nigger from Louisiana.

I done told you, I ain't never

had the first thought in my head.
If it ain't in here, I don't know it.

Sometimes I think you're having fun with me.

You are an asshole!

A-S-S hole! Asshole!

Come on now.

Now, what the fuck are you doing

in my motherfucking bed?

I don't see how you can live here,

how you can feel safe.

Well, you got a point, professor,

about being safe anyway.

You ever stopped any of these people

from taking drugs?

- Not that I know of.

- Then what is the point? I don't get it.

I mean, it's hopeless.

This places is a moral leper colony.

Damn. "Moral leper colony."

Where's my pencil at?

I ain't never gonna want you to leave.

Put this in my book.

"In the moral leper colony."

I like the sound of that.

I still don't see how you can live here.

Why not go someplace where you

can do the world some good?

As opposed to someplace where good is needed?

Even God gives up at some point. There's

no ministry in hell that I ever heard of.

No, there ain't. And that's well put.

Ministry is for the living.

That's why you're responsible for your brother.

Once he quit breathing

you can't help him no more.

He's in the hands of other parties.

So you got to look after him now.
You might even want to monitor
his train schedule.

You think you are your brother's keeper?

I don't believe "think" quite covers it.

- And Jesus is part of this enterprise?

- That all right with you?

And he's interested in coming here

to this cesspool...

...and salvaging what everybody

knows is unsalvageable.

Why would he do that?

You said he didn't have a lot of free time.

Why would he come here?

What would the difference be to him...

...between a building that was

spiritually and morally vacant...

...and one that was just empty?

Mm. Professor, you're a theologian here

and I ain't even know it.

You're being facetious.

I don't know that word.

But don't be afraid to talk down to me.

You ain't gonna hurt my feelings.

It means, uh-- I guess it means

you're not being sincere...

...that you're being-- You don't mean what

you're saying in a cynical sort of way.

Mm. You don't think I mean what I say?

I think you say things for effect sometimes.

- Mm. Well, let me say this for effect.

- Go ahead.

Suppose I was to tell you

that if you could bring yourself...

...to unlatch your hands

from around your brother's throat...

...you could have life everlasting?

- There's no such thing. Everybody dies.
- That ain't what he said.

- Ha, ha.
- He said you could have life everlasting...

...have it now, today...

...hold it in your hands, see it.

It gives off a light, got a little weight to it.

Not much.

Warm to the touch just a little.

Life, and it's forever.

And you can have it...

...now, today.

But you don't want it.

You don't want it because to get it

you gotta let your brother off the hook.

You got to actually take him in your arms

and hold him...

...and it don't matter what color he is

or what he smells like...

...or even if he don't want to be held.

And you won't do it

because you don't think he deserves it.

And about that,

there ain't no argument. He don't.

You won't do it because it ain't just.

Ain't that so?

Ain't it?

- I don't think in those terms.

- Just answer the question, professor.

- I don't believe in that sort of thing.

- I know you don't.

Just answer the question.

There may be some truth in what you say.

- That's all I'm going to get?

- Yes.
All right, all right. I'll take it.

Some is a lot.
We down to breadcrumbs here.

- I really have to go home.

- No, no, no, just stay. Just a little.

We can talk about something else.

Um, you like baseball?

Tell you what.

Why don't I fix us something to eat?

- I'm not hungry.

- How about some coffee?

All right, but then I really have to go.

All right. The man says all right.

You know, ordinarily I wouldn't be this rude...

...a man come in my house,

sit at my table...

...and me not offering nothing.

But with you I got to strategize...

...play the cards right...

...keep you from slipping off

into the night.

It's not night.

Depends on what kind of night

you're talking about.

Let me ask you a personal question.

This will be good.

What you think is wrong with you...

...that you finally narrowed all your choices

down to the Sunset Limited?

I don't think there's anything wrong with me.

I've been driven to finally face the truth.

If I'm different, it doesn't mean I'm crazy.

- Different? Different from who?

- Yeah. Anybody.
What about them other folk
trying to off themself?

- What about them?

- Maybe them's the folk you is like.

Maybe they're your natural kin,

only y'all don't get together that much.

- I don't think so.

- Don't think so?

No, I've been in group therapy

with those people.

I've never found anyone there

that I felt any kinship with.

Hmm. What about all them professors?

There ain't no kinship there?

- Good God.
- I'll take that as a no.

I loathe them and they loathe me.

Well, just because you don't like them

don't mean you ain't like them.

And what's that word, "loathe"?

- Loathe.
- That's a pretty powerful word, ain't it?

Not powerful enough, I'm afraid.

How come you be loathing these other professors?

- I know what you're thinking.

- What am I thinking?

You're thinking that I loathe them

because I'm like them...

...and I loathe myself.

Let me ask you this,

is you on any kind of medication?

No.

There ain't no medication for pilgrims

waiting to take the Limited?

- For suicidal depression?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, there is. I've tried them.

- And what happened?
- Nothing.
- You ain't get no relief?

- No. Your coffee's percolated.

- Yeah, I know.

Does these drugs work for other people?

Yes, for most.

- But not for you?

- Not for me, no.

- What you make of that?

- I don't know.

What am I supposed to make of it?

I don't know, professor.

I'm just trying to see...

...if we can find you some

constituents out here.

- Constituents?
- Yeah, you like that?

ls that a word they use on the streets?

No, I learned that word in jailhouse.

You hear things from these jailhouse

lawyers and then it gets used around.

Be talking about your constituents,

some other cat's constituents...

...your wife's constituents.

You take cream and sugar?

- No, just black.

- Just black.

Why do I have to have constituents?

I ain't saying you got to.

I'm wondering if maybe you do...

...and we just ain't looked

hard enough for them.

They could be out there.

There could be some other...

...drug-proof terminal commuters out there

could be your friends.
- Terminal commuters?
- You like the sound of that?

It's all right.

- Nobody?
- Nobody, no.

Mm.

I'm not a member.

Never wanted to be, and never was.

- Not a member?
- No.

Look, I could eat a bite.

And I think you could too.

You break bread with a man...

...you've moved on to another level

of friendship.

I heard that's true the world over.

- Probably.
- Probably?

I like probably.

Probably from you is worth

a couple of damn rights anywhere else.

Why? Because I don't believe in anything?

Well, I don't think that's the problem.

I think, uh, it's what you do believe

that's carrying you off...

...not what you don't.

Let me ask you this.

Go ahead.

- You ever think about Jesus?

- Here we go.

Well, do you?

What makes you think I'm not Jewish?

Jews ain't allowed to think about Jesus?

No, but they might think about him differently.

Oh.
- ls you Jewish?
- No, as it happens I'm not.

- Ha, ha. Had me going there for a minute.

- What, you don't like Jews?

I'm just pulling your chain, professor.

Just pulling your chain.

I don't know why

I like to mess with you, but I do.

Now, you need to listen or you need

to believe what you're hearing...

...because the point of

where this is going--

Which you wanted to know.

- -is that there ain't no Jews,

there ain't no whites...

...there ain't no niggers--

People of color.

There ain't none of that.

At the deep bottom of the mine...

...where the gold is at,

there ain't none of that.

It's just the pure ore, that forever thing...

...that you don't think is there...

...that thing that keeps people

nailed down to the platform...

...when the Sunset Limited

is coming through...

...even if they think

they want to get aboard...

...that thing that allows you

to ladle out benediction...

...on the heads of strangers

instead of curses.

And it's all one thing.

And it ain't but one thing, just one.

And that would be Jesus.

I got to think about how to answer that.

Maybe one more heresy won't hurt you.

Pretty loaded up on them already.

Here's what I would say.

I would say-- Mm.

I would say that thing

we're talking about is Jesus...

...but Jesus as understood

as that gold at the bottom of the mine.

He could not come down here

and assume the shape of a man...

...if that form was not done shaped

to accommodate him.

And if I said ain't no way for Jesus

to be every man...

...without every man being Jesus...

...well, now, I think that would be

a pretty big heresy.

But that's all right.

It ain't as big a heresy...

...as saying, like,

man ain't no different from a rock...

...which is how I see your point of view.

It's not my point of view.

I believe in the primacy of the intellect.

And what's that word?

Primacy? It means first.

It means what you put first.

Mm. And that would be, uh, intellect?

Yes.

What about the primacy of the Sunset Limited?

Yes, that too.

But not the primacy of the people

waiting on a later train?

- No, no primacy there.

- Hmm.
You tough, professor. Ha, ha.

You tough.

You see yourself as a questioner.

But about that I got my doubts.

The quest of your life is your quest.

And you're on a road that you laid.

And that fact alone might be all the reason

you need for sticking to it.

As long as you're on that road

you can't get lost.

I'm not sure I understand what you're saying.

Oh, I got my doubts about you not

understanding anything I say, professor.

I'm fixing to say grace.

Lord, we thank you for this food...

...and for the many blessings

we have received from your hand.

We thank you for the life of the professor

which you have returned to us...

...and ask that you would look after him,

because we need him.

Now, I don't know why we need him.

I just know we do.

Amen.

Tell me how you like this.

It looks good.

This is good.

This is very good.

Supposed to be good.
It's soul food, my man.

It's got what in it? Molasses?

- You a chef, professor?

- Not really.

- But some?
- Some, yes.
Bananas, of course. Mangos?

- Got a mango or two in it, rutabagas.

- Rutabagas?

Rutabagas. Them's hard to find.

It's very good.

You know, it gets better after a day or two.

I just fixed this last night.

You gotta heat it up a few times

to get the flavors right.

- Like chili.
- Like chili. Yeah, that's right.

- You know where I learned to fix this?

- In Louisiana?

Mm-mm. Right here in the ghettos

of New York City.

There's a lot of different influences

in a dish like this.

Many parts of the world in that pot.

Lot of different countries, different people.

- Any white people?

- Ha, ha. Not if you can help it.

- Really?
- I'm just messing with you, professor.

Just messing with you.

You know them, uh, chefs

in them uptown restaurants?

- Not personally, no.

- You know what they like to fix?

- No.
- Sweetbreads.

Brains, tripe, all that shit

don't nobody like to eat.

- You know why that is?

- Because, uh, it's a challenge.

- You have to innovate.

- You're pretty smart for a honky.

That's right. It's a challenge.

The stuff they fix, dead cheap.

Most folks throw it out, give it to the cat.

But poor folks, they don't throw nothing out.

I guess that's right.

Anybody can make a porterhouse steak taste good.

But if you can't buy no porterhouse steak...

...and you wants to eat something

good, what do you do?

- Innovate.
- Innovate. That's right.

And who is it that's got to innovate?

- Poor people.
- That's right. Poor people.

Mm. You fixing to get an A-plus.

So how you like this?

It's very good.

You don't think a glass of wine

would have been good with this?

I do think a glass of wine

would have been good with it.

- But you wouldn't drink it?

- Oh, I might. Just one glass.

Jesus drank wine, he and his disciples.

Yes, he did.
Says so right here in the Bible.

It don't say nothing

about him hiding it in the toilet.

- ls that really a favorite hiding place?

- Oh, yeah.

I've known drunks to lift the lids off toilets

in strange places just on the off chance.

- ls that true?
- No.

It could be, though.

Wouldn't surprise me none.

What's the worst thing you ever did?

- More jailhouse stories?
- Why not?

Which why not you want to hear?

ls bludgeoning the man in the prison

cafeteria the worst thing you ever did?

- No, it ain't.
- It isn't? What's the worst?

- I ain't gonna tell you.

- Why not?

Because you'll jump up,

run out the door hollering.

It must be pretty bad.

- That's why I ain't telling you.

- Now I'm afraid to ask.

No, you ain't.

Did you ever tell anyone?

Yeah.

- It wouldn't leave me alone.

- Who did you tell it to?

I told it to a man of God who was my friend.

- What did he say?

- He didn't say a word.

But you're not curious

about the worst thing I ever did.

- Yeah, I am.
- But you won't ask me what it is.

- I don't have to.

- Why is that?

Because I was there. I seen it.

Well, I might have a different view.

Yeah, you might.

- You want some more?

- No, I'm stuffed.

- Hungrier than you thought?

- Yes, I was.

Good.
ls this some kind of test of your faith?

- What, you?
- Me, yes.

It ain't my faith you're testing.

You see everything in black and white.

It is black and white.

I suppose that makes the world

easier to understand.

You'd be surprised how little time I spend

trying to understand the world.

- You try to understand God.

- No, I don't.

I try to understand what he wants from me.

And that's everything you need?

If God ain't everything you need,

then you in a world of trouble.

I don't make a move without Jesus.

When I get up in the morning,

I try to grab ahold to his belt.

Sometime I go into a manual override.

I catch myself.

- Manual override?
- Yeah, you like that?

- It's okay.
- I thought it was pretty good.

So you come to the end of your rope...

...and you admit defeat

and you're in despair.

And in this state you seize upon this,

whatever it is...

...that has neither sense nor substance...

...and you grab hold of it

and hang on for dear life.

- ls that a fair portrayal?

- That might be one way to say it.

It doesn't make any sense.

Well, I thought when we was talking earlier...

...you was saying that there was

none of it made no sense.

About the history of the world.

Well, it doesn't on a larger scale.

But what you're telling me

is not a view of things.

It's a view of one thing

and I find it nonsensical.

What would you do if Jesus was to speak to you?

- Ha, ha. Do you imagine that he might?

- No, I don't. But I don't know.

I'm not virtuous enough.

No, professor, it ain't nothing like that.

You ain't got to be virtuous.

You just has to be quiet.

Now, I can't speak for the Lord,

but it has been my experience...

...that he will talk to anybody

who will listen.

You damn sure ain't got to be virtuous.

If I heard God talking to me...

...I would be ready for you to take me

up to Bellevue as you suggested.

What if what he said made sense?

Wouldn't make any difference.

Craziness is craziness.

- Don't make no difference if it makes sense?

- No.

Well, that's about as big a case

of the primacy as I ever heard.

I've always gone my own way.

- What's that you talking?

- It's German.

You talk German?

Not really. A little. It's a quotation.

Well, it didn't do them Germans

much good though, did it?

I don't know. The Germans contributed

a great deal to civilization before Hitler.

And then they contributed Hitler.

Yeah, if you like.

I gather it to be your belief...

...that culture tends to contribute

to human misery...

...that the more one knows,

the unhappier one is likely to be.

As in the case of certain parties known to us.

- As in the case.
- Well, I don't believe I said that.

I think it was you who said it.

- I never said it.

- Do you believe it?

- No.
- No?

I don't know. It could be true.

Well, why is that?

That don't seem right, do it?

It's the first thing in that book there.

The Garden of Eden.

Knowledge as destructive to the spirit...

- ...destructive to goodness.
- I thought you ain't read that book.

Everyone knows that story.

It's the most famous story in there.

Hmm. Why you think that is?

I suppose from the God point of view

all knowledge is vanity.

Or maybe it just gives people the unhealthy

illusion that they can outwit the devil.

Damn, professor.
Where was you when I needed you?
You'd better be careful.
You see where it's gotten me.

Oh, I see.
That's the topic of discussion here.

The darker picture is always the correct one.

When you read the history of the world...

...you are reading a saga of bloodshed

and greed and folly...

...the import of which

is impossible to ignore.

And yet we imagine...

...that the future

will somehow be different.

I've no idea why we are even still here.

In all probability,
we won't be here much longer.

Them's some pretty powerful words, professor.

- Mm.
- That's what's in your heart, ain't it?

Yes.

All right, well, I can relate to them thoughts.

- You can?
- Sure I can.

- That surprises me.

- But you could be wrong, you know.

I don't think so.

That ain't something

you have a lot of in your life.

- What isn't?
- Being wrong.

- I admit it when I'm wrong.

- Oh, I don't know about that.

Well, you're entitled to your own opinion.

Oh, yeah, here it is. Story on Page 3.

Ah.
"Friends reported that the man
had ignored all advice...

...and stated that he intended

to pursue his own course.

A close confidant stated--"

And this here is in quotations.

- -"'You couldn't tell that

son of a bitch nothing."'

Now, can you say that in the paper?

"Son of a bitch"?

"Blood-spattered spectators
at the 155th street station--

Continued on Page 4."

155th street station.

- -"who were interviewed at the scene

said that the man's last words...

...as he hurtled toward the oncoming

commuter train were:

'I am right."'

Very funny.

Oh, professor, you an amazing man.

I'm glad you find me entertaining.

- Oh, I think you're special.

- I don't think I'm special.

- You don't?
- No, I don't.

You don't think you view those other

commuters from a certain height?

I view those other commuters

as fellow occupants...

...of the same abyssal pit

in which I find myself.

And if they see it as something different,

I don't know how that makes me special.

Mm.

I hear what you're saying.

But still I keep coming back
to these commuters...

...them that's waiting on the Sunset.

I can't help but think there's gotta be

something a little special about theirselves.

I mean, they got to be in a deeper pit

than us day travelers.

Deeper and darker.

I ain't saying they down as deep as you...

- ...but pretty deep maybe.

- So?

So maybe they your brothers

in self-destruction and despair.

I thought misery loved company.

I'm sure I don't know.

Let me take a shot at it.

What I think is that you got

better reasons than them.

See, their reasons is that

they just don't like it here.

But yours says what it is not to like

and why not to like it.

You got more intelligent reasons,

more elegant reasons.

- You making fun of me?

- No, I ain't.

- But you think I'm full of shit?

- No, I don't think that.

But I don't doubt that it's possible

to die from being full of shit.

- I don't think that's what we're looking at.

- What do you think we're looking at?

I don't know.
You got me in uncharted territory. Uh....

You got these world-class reasons

for taking the Limited...

...where these other dudes,

all they got is...
...well, maybe they just don't feel good.

It might could be
that you ain't even all that unhappy.

You think my education is driving me to suicide?

No, I'm just posing the question.

Well, wait a minute before you answer.

Okay, go ahead.

I think that's the most ridiculous thing

I ever heard.

"I think that's the most ridiculous

thing I ever heard."

Very clever. What's the point?

The light is all around you,

but you don't see nothing but shadow.

And you're the one causing it.

It's you. You're the shadow.

That's the point.

Well, I don't have your faith.

Why don't we just leave it at that?

You ain't never thought about starting over?

I did at one time. I don't anymore.

Well, maybe faith is just a case

of not having nothing else left.

Well, I do have something else.

Well, why don't you just keep that in reserve?

Just take a shot at starting over.

I don't mean starting again.

Everybody's done that.

Over means over. Just walk away.

I mean, if everything you are and everything

you have and everything you done...

...has brought you at last

to the bottom of a whiskey bottle...

...or bought you a one-way ticket

on the Sunset Limited...
...you can't give me one good reason
on God's green earth...

...for salvaging none of it,

because there ain't none.

If you can bring yourself

to close the door on all of that...

...it will be cold and it will be lonely...

...and there will be a fierce wind blowing.

But you don't say nothing.

You just turn your collar up and keep walking.

I can't. I can't.

- You want some more coffee?

- No, thank you.

Why do you think it is folks

take their own lives?

I don't know. Different reasons.

ls there anything these different reasons

has got in common?

I can't speak for others.

My own reasons center around

a gradual loss of make-believe...

...a gradual enlightenment

as to the nature of reality...

...of the world.

- Them worldly reasons.

- If you like.

- Them elegant reasons.

- That was your description.

You ain't disagreed with it.

It's them reasons that your brother

don't know nothing about...

...hanging from his necktie from

a steam pipe down in the basement.

He's got his own dumb-ass reasons.

But if we could find a way to educate him

to them more elegant reasons...
...and make them available
to him and his buddies...

...then there'd be a lot of folk out there...

...could off themselves with more joy

in their hearts. What you think?

Now I know you're being facetious.

I think you're right.

I think you done finally drove me to it.

Mm-hm.

Professor done gone to laying mm-hms

on me. I guess I'd better watch my step.

You better had.

I might be warming up the trick bag.

You think your reasons is about the world.

And his is mostly about him.

I think that's probably true.

I think I see a different truth

sitting across the table from me.

- Which is?
- That you must love your brother or die.

I don't know what that means.

It's another world from anything I know.

- Well, well, tell me how your world is.

- You don't want to hear it.

- Sure I do.
- I don't think so.

Yeah, go ahead.

All right.

It's that the world is basically

a forced labor camp...

...from which the workers,

perfectly innocent...

...are led forth by lottery,

a few each day, to be executed.

I don't think that's just the way I see it.

I think that's the way it is.

Are there alternative views? Yes.

Will any of them stand close scrutiny?
No.

So do you want to take a look

at that train schedule again?

If this ain't the life you wanted, what was?

I don't know. Not this.

- Are you living the life you had planned?

- No, it ain't.

But I got what I needed

instead of what I wanted.

Sometimes that's the best kind of luck to have.

Yeah, well....

You can't compare your life to mine

though, can you?

No, I can't. Ha, ha.

- Mm.
- I just can't.

Oh, I'm sorry. I should go.

- You don't have to go.

- I've offended you.

Look, my hide is thicker than that.

Don't go. You ain't hurt my feelings.

I know you think I should be thankful.

I'm sorry not to be.

- I don't think no such thing.

- I should go.

- I'm digging a dry hole here, ain't I?

- I admire your persistence.

What can I do to get you

to just stay just a bit?

Why? Are you hoping that if I stay

long enough, God might talk to me?

No, I'm hoping he'll speak to me.

I know you think I at least owe you

a little more of my time.

I know I'm ungrateful.

But ingratitude is not the sin
to a spiritual bankrupt...

...that it is to a man of God.

I don't think you owe me nothing.

- You really think that?

- Yeah, I do.

You're very kind.

I wish there was something I could do

to repay you, but there isn't.

Why don't we say goodbye?

You can get on with your life.

Suppose....

Suppose I tell you you could wake up tomorrow...

...and you wouldn't be jumping

in front of no train.

Suppose all you had to do was ask.

Would you?

That just depends on

what I would have to give up.

See, I started to write that down on paper.

- What is it you think I'm holding on to?

- I don't know!

What is it the terminal commuter

cherishes that he would die for?

- I don't know.
- No, no.

You don't.

You don't want to talk to me no more, do you?

I thought you had a thick skin.

It is, but it ain't hide to the bone.

Why do you think there is something

that I won't give up?

I don't know.

I think...

...has gotta have something

on his mind.
I mean, most of us would just settle
for maybe a slap upside the head.

You say you don't care about nothing,

but I don't believe that.

I don't think death is ever about nothing.

You asked me what I think you're holding

on to and I got to say I don't know.

Or maybe I just don't have the words to say it.

And maybe you know but you just ain't telling.

What I believe is that when you

took your celebrated leap...

...you was taking it with you

and you was holding on to it...

...holding on for grim death.

I'm just looking for the words, professor.

I'm looking for the words because I know

the words is the way to your heart.

Well, I can't help you.

Letting it all go is the place I finally got to.

It took a lot of work to get there.

And if there's one thing I would be

unwilling to give up, it is exactly that.

ls there another way you could say that?

The one thing I won't give up is giving up.

I expect that to carry me through.

I'm depending on it.

The things I believe in

were very frail, as I've said.

They won't be around very long

and neither will I.

But I don't think that's really

the reason for my decision.

I think it goes deeper than that.

You can acclimate yourself to loss.

You have to. I mean....

You like music, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

Who is the greatest composer that you know of?

- John Coltrane, hands down.

- Do you think his work will last forever?

Well, forever's a long time, professor.

So I got to say no.

That doesn't mean it's worthless, does it?

No, it don't.

You give up the world line by line.

You become an accomplice

to your own annihilation.

There's nothing you can do about it.

Everything you do closes a door

somewhere ahead of you.

Finally there's only one door left.

That's a dark world, professor.

Maybe you just need to admit

that you're in over your head.

I do admit it,
but that don't let me off the hook.

I got no choice.

Okay.

Maybe you're right.

Well, here is my news, Reverend.

I long for the darkness.

I pray for death, real death.

And if I thought that in death

I would meet the people I knew in life...

...I don't know what I would do.

That would be the ultimate nightmare.

If I thought I was gonna meet my mother

again and start that all over...

...only this time without the prospect

of death to look forward to...

...that would be the final nightmare,

Kafka on wheels.

Damn, professor.
You don't want to see your own mama?

No, I don't.

I want the dead to be dead...

...forever.

And I want to be one of them. Except,

of course, you can't be one of them.

You can't be one of the dead

because that which has no existence...

...can have no community.

No community.

My heart warms just thinking about it.

Blackness, aloneness...

...silence, peace...

...and all of it only a heartbeat away.

I don't regard my state of mind...

...as some pessimistic view of the world.

I regard it as the world itself.

Evolution cannot avoid

bringing intelligent life...

...ultimately to an awareness
of one thing...

...and one thing above all else.

And that one thing is futility.

If I'm understanding you right...

...you saying everybody that just ain't

eat up with the dumb-ass...

...ought to be suicidal.

- Yes.
- You ain't shitting me?

No, I am not shitting you.

If people could see the world
for what it truly is...

...see their lives for what they truly are...

...without dreams or illusions...

...I don't believe they could offer

the first reason...

...why they should not elect to die

as soon as possible.

I don't believe in God.

Can you understand that?

Look around you, man. Can't you see?

The clamor and din of those in torment...

...has to be the sound

most pleasing to his ear.

And I loathe these discussions.

The argument of the village atheist...

...whose single passion

is to revile endlessly...

...that which he denies

the existence of in the first place.

Your fellowship is a fellowship of pain

and nothing more.

And if that pain were collective

instead of merely reiterative...

...the sheer weight of it

would drag the world...

...from the walls of the universe

and send it crashing and burning down...

...through whatever night it might yet

be capable of engendering...

...until it was not even ash.

And brotherhood...

...justice, eternal life?

Good God, man.

Show me a religion that prepares one

for nothingness, for death.

That's a church I might enter.

Yours prepares one only for more life...

...for dreams and illusions and lies.

Banish the fear of death from men's hearts...

...they wouldn't live a day.

Who would want this nightmare

but for fear of the next?

The shadow of the ax hangs over every joy.

Every road ends in death,

every friendship, every love.

Torment, loss, betrayal...

...pain, suffering...

...age...

...indignity...

...hideous lingering illness.

And all of it with a single conclusion...

...for you and everyone...

...and every thing you have ever

chosen to care for.

That is the true brotherhood,

the true fellowship.

And everybody is a member for life.

You tell me that my brother is my salvation?

My salvation?
Well, then damn him.

Damn him in every shape and guise and form.

Do I see myself in him? Yes, I do.

And what I see sickens me.

Do you understand me?

Can you understand me?

I'm sorry.

How long you felt like this?

All my life.
- ls that true?
- It's worse than that.

I don't see what could be worse than that.

Rage is really only for the good days.

The truth is there's little of that left.

The truth is that the forms I see

have been slowly emptied out.

They no longer have any content.

They're shapes only.

A train, a wall, a world...

...a man, a thing...

...dangling in senseless articulation

in the howling void...

...no meaning to its life...

...its words.

Why would I seek out

the company of such a thing?

Why?

Damn.

So you see what it is you've saved?

Tried to save. Still trying, trying hard.

- Who is your brother?

- Who is my brother, yes.

ls that the reason I'm here in your apartment?

No, that's why I'm here.

You asked me what I'm a professor of.

I am a professor of darkness,
the night in day's clothing.

And now I wish you all the very best,

but I must go.

- Just stay a little while longer.

- No, no more time. Goodbye.

We can talk about something else, I swear.

I don't want to talk about something else.

Don't go out there, professor!
You know what's out there!

Oh, yes. Indeed I do.

I know what's out there

and I know who is out there.

I rush to nuzzle his bony cheek.

No doubt he will be surprised

to find himself so cherished.

And as I cling to his neck

I will whisper in that dry and ancient ear:

"Here I am. Here I am."

- Now open the door!

- Don't do this.

You're a kind man.

I've heard you out and you've heard me.

There's no more to say.

Your God must once have stood

at a dawn of infinite possibilities...

...and that is what he's made of it.

You tell me that I want God's love.

I don't.

Perhaps I want forgiveness,

but there is no one to ask it of.

And there's no going back.

There's no setting things right.

There's only the hope of nothingness.

And I cling to that hope.

- Now open the door.

- Don't do this.

Please open the door.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Professor?

I know you ain't mean them words.

I'm gonna be there in the morning.

I'm gonna be there, you hear?

I'm gonna be there!

I'm gonna be there.

You know he didn't mean them words.

You know he didn't.

I don't understand why you sent me down there.

I don't understand.

If you wanted me to help him, then how

come you didn't give me the words?

You give them to him. What about me?

That's all right. That's all right.

If you don't never speak again...

...you know I'll keep your word.

You know I will.

You know I'm good for it.

ls that okay?