e-asTTle Stuff

e-asTTle writing
generic exemplars
This set of exemplars illustrates the use of the e-asTTle marking rubric to score writing across the writing prompts. The exemplars cover the full scoring range, and the full range of skill
development, for each element of writing. Generic exemplars are referenced in the marking rubric, with two exemplars linked to each scoring category within each element. These two exemplars
provide practical examples of writing that falls within that scoring category (for example, category R2 in spelling, or category R6 in ideas).
page number
A library 1
And the All Blacks scored! 2
By the mall 4
Don't move 5
Evolving life pattern 7
Fealing seaweed 9
Heavy-booted feet 10
I be kin 12
I personally believe 13
Margin for era 15
My iPod 16
Plastic bags 18
Rainbow's end 20
Sn 22
Stificit 23
The adventerous dog 24
The Erfeh 25
The girl 26
Think about 27
When I 28
Yea I'm agree 29
Youth gym 30
«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNO
Prompt 14: A special place in the community
Exemplar 2: A library
RUBRIC RUBRIC
ELEMENT COMMENTS COMMENTS EO1402
RANGE CATEGORY
The text has several ideas with some elaboration. Ideas are
Ideas R1–R6 R4 beginning to show complexity through relation to the wider
world (parents encouraging their children to go to the library).
Text has a brief introduction and conclusion. The body shows
some development, with supporting details and examples.
Language features are appropriate to the purpose (to explain):
Structure and language R1–R6 R4 use of present tense, active verbs (read, research, incorge), and
linking words showing cause and effect (because if…). The
familiar tone is sometimes distracting (or whatever you think;
way more than that; kids).
Paragraphs show some focus and there is an attempt to use
them appropriately for the prompt (new paragraph for each
Organisation R1–R7 R5
idea). One paragraph is not marked (Its also good to have a
library so perints can...). Text is coherent.
Text consists of mostly everyday words. A small number of
Vocabulary R1–R6 R3 precise, technical and academic words are used to provide detail
(research, experiments, incorge [encourage]).
Low R4. Correct sentences are extended and begin to show
variety in structure. Other sentences have errors such as
Sentence structure R1–R6 R4
subject–verb agreement (because if their was no librarys) and
missing or repeated words.
Sentence punctuation is correct (one run-on sentence ‘ ... What
kids do ... its way more than that ...’). Uses commas for lists and
also uses a comma correctly for phrasing. Misses the apostrophe
Punctuation R1–R7 R5
to show contraction in its. Apparent random capitals (e.g.,
Week, Community) may be due to handwriting style. On
balance, low R5.
Most high-frequency words are correct. Achieves close
Spelling approximations of more difficult words. Some error is due to
EO1402 R1–R6 R4
over-generalisation (e.g., of the ending -ent in importent,
wouldent).
m~ÖÉ=N===
Prompt 13: The referee is always right
Exemplar 4: And the All Blacks scored!
EO13004
m~ÖÉ=O===
Exemplar 4: And the All Blacks scored!
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Ideas are complex, developed, and show reflection on the
wider world with extended generalisation and abstraction
Ideas R1–R6 R6
(human nature and the influence of power, wealth and
fame).
Structural and language features have been combined to
Structure and language R1–R6 R6
produce a controlled and effective text.
Paragraphs support the development of the text, but are not
always indicated correctly (some long paragraphs could be
Organisation R1–R7 R6 separated into smaller units). Further development of
cohesion across the text and within paragraphs would help
the reader follow key ideas.
Language has been deliberately chosen to create effects
Vocabulary R1–R6 R6 (e.g., use of informal language in the phrase those bloody
Aussies ... cheating their way to victory).
Sentences show control and have been crafted to create
effects (e.g., repetition in Fate rests in your hands. The fate
of the players, the fate of the coaches, the fate of the crowd).
Minor errors (one instance of incorrect tense within a
sentence; a couple of missing words) do not detract from
meaning.
Punctuation is mostly controlled and used effectively,
Punctuation R1–R7 R7 including complex punctuation (colons, dashes, commas for
phrasing and clauses).
Spells a wide range of difficult words correctly (inept,
Spelling R1–R6 R6
imperfect, biased). The only errors are succum and penalthy.
m~ÖÉ=P===
Prompt 17 : The market
Exemplar 1: By the mall
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Ideas R1–R6 R2 Several simple ideas with minimal elaboration.
Focuses on one key element of topic – food. Attempts to add
Structure and language R1–R6 R2 descriptive detail through use of adjectives (howfy [healthy],
jasee [juicy].
Contains like ideas, some of which are grouped (e.g., what
people at the market see). Text has some coherence.
Vocabulary R1–R6 R1 Uses a small range of simple words from personal vocabulary.
Several missing words. Errors in pronoun use and subject–verb
agreement (howfy food they are jasee).
Capital at the beginning. Full stop at end. An incorrect full stop
at what might have been the original ending (Simsims tiys.).
A few personal and high-frequency words spelt correctly (I, and,
they, food, see, the). Attempts a wider range of words using
Spelling R1–R6 R2
phoneme–grapheme relationships (tocking [talking] myt
[might]).
Transcript:
I thinking it is by the mall and I thinking the people are
talking about what healthy food they might [.....] feeling they
see some healthy food they are juicy and yum and they saw
[.....] and they saw [.....] toys. and food.
E01701
m~ÖÉ=Q===
Prompt 21: I heard a whisper but no one was there
Exemplar 4: Don’t move
E02104
m~ÖÉ=R===
Prompt 21: I heard a whisper but no one was there
Exemplar 4: Don’t move
RUBRIC RUBRIC
ELEMENT COMMENTS
RANGE CATEGORY COMMENTS E02104
Ideas show originality and insight, with reference to

complex issues such as family violence, and generalisation
to universal feelings (real fear makes you paralyzed).
Ideas R1–R6 R6 Although some aspects of the story could be developed
further (e.g., the father’s motive for looking for the
daughter/murderer), the ideas are sufficiently effective and
elaborated for a category R6.
The orientation is compelling and engages the reader. The
body of the text creates tension and suspense, building to a
Structure and climax towards the end. Language features are controlled
language R1–R6 R6
for purpose: present tense is used to bring the reader into
the moment, descriptive language is used throughout, and
characters are developed.
Paragraphs are structured and linked to pace the narrative
and build tension.
Language choices consistently enhance meaning and mood
Vocabulary R1–R6 R6 (gripping their mouths shut while they whimper and sob;
Nearly suffocating like a fish out of water under my hands).
Sentences are deliberately crafted to have an effect on the
reader: e.g., short, choppy sentences build the pace and
sense of dread (Don’t move. Don’t make a sound. Don’t even
breathe).
While there are some errors in punctuating direct speech,
and with contractions and apostrophes, the punctuation is
used to enhance meaning and to guide the reader through
the text.
Writes with few errors and spells a wide range of difficult
Spelling R1–R6 R6 words correctly (whimper, echo, comfortable, immediately,
surprised, surrounding, sympathy).
m~ÖÉ=S===
Prompt 10: A frog life cycle
Exemplar 3: Evolving life pattern
E01003
m~ÖÉ=T===
Exemplar 3: Evolving life pattern
RUBRIC RUBRIC
ELEMENT COMMENTS COMMENTS E01003
RANGE CATEGORY
Ideas are elaborated, and show some complexity (e.g.,
Ideas R1–R6 R5 froglets are less vulnerable than tadpoles; the role of male
frogs).
An introduction orients the reader to the topic, the body
describes stages in the life cycle (although one stage, frog
spawn, is missing) and a concluding statement rounds the
Structure and language R1–R6 R3 writing off (A frog’s life cycle soon starts again). The
language features are partly appropriate for purpose,
although the tone verges on expressive and is sometimes
too informal (mix with the wrong crowd/kinda).
Paragraphs are appropriate and developed. Sub-headings
help to direct the reader through the text.
Uses some academic and subject-specific vocabulary to add
precision and detail (develops, expands, vulnerable,
predators, dominant, evolving). Use of precise words is
Vocabulary R1–R6 R4
inconsistent (e.g., everyday language in really, really small)
and experimentation with vocabulary is not always effective
(a evolving life pattern).
Sentences show variety and sophistication, with consistent
attempts to create effects. Errors include lose/gain verb
agreement, incorrect article in first sentence, and incorrect
noun−pronoun reference tadpoles/it).
Most sentence punctuation is correct. There is some
experimentation with commas for effect. Uses possessive
apostrophe (sometimes correct) and double quotation
marks for emphasis (unsuccessfully). Some correct and
incorrect commas in list. Enough experimentation for
category R5.
Correct spelling of high-frequency words and some difficult
words (evolving, separation, predators, vicious, dominant).
Spelling R1–R6 R5
Incorrect words include vunerable, there, lerking, developes.
There is a missing letter in bod parts.
m~ÖÉ=U===
Prompt 04: Adult and child
Exemplar 1: Fealing seaweed
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Ideas R1–R6 R2 Several simple ideas with minimal elaboration.
Although there is no orientation or conclusion, the text
describes key elements of the photograph (what the people are
Structure and language R1–R6 R3 doing, and the girl’s expression). Language features are mostly
appropriate: includes sensory detail (hear the waves crashing;
see seaweed swishing); uses present tense.
Text is brief and coherent. The ideas are grouped and presented
logically (what the participants can feel, hear, see and smell).
Spaces between lines are random, rather than paragraph
breaks.
Uses a range of words related to the topic (seaweed, beach),
Vocabulary and some precise phrases (waves crashing, seaweed swishing).
R1–R6 R3
Beginning to experiment with figurative language
(onomatopoeia: crashing; swishing).
Sentences have basic structures with a little extension. Most
E00401 Sentence structure R1–R6 R2 sentences are correct (word missing in they are a really good
time).
Full stops are used correctly to mark the end of sentences
Punctuation R1–R7 R3 (except for final sentence). Capital letters are missing or used
inappropriately. One correct contraction (doesn’t).
Spells most high-frequency words correctly (error in ther
[they’re]). Spells some longer words correctly, showing
Spelling R1–R6 R4 knowledge of common morphemes (e.g., -ing in crashing,
swishing). Errors show over-generalisation (e.g., incorrect use of
the vowel digraph ‘ea’ in freash and fealing).
m~ÖÉ=V===
Prompt 20: The Bush
Exemplar 3: Heavy-booted feet
E02003
m~ÖÉ=NM===
Prompt 20: The Bush
Exemplar 3: Heavy-booted feet
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Ideas show complexity by going beyond the writer’s
Ideas R1–R6 R5 immediate world to consider the relationship between
humans and the environment.
Orientation and complication are developed and engage the
reader’s interest. The ending is brief and lacks resolution.
Some language features are appropriate to the purpose: use
of past tense (not consistent), connectives showing
sequence of events (just as, then), descriptive language. On
balance, the text describes a scene, rather than narrating a
story: there is insufficient control for purpose for a category
R5.
Paragraphs are developed. The change to past tense from
Organisation R1–R7 R6 the last sentence of the first paragraph causes a minor
interruption to flow.
Deliberate and sustained use of expressive words and
phrases to create atmosphere and imagery (heavy-booted
Vocabulary R1–R6 R6 feet, quivers, bulging backpacks). Some minor glitches
caused by use of clichéd or everyday language (e.g.,
adorable creatures) or unnecessary words (Fred).
Sentences are crafted for effect. Minimal error (subject–verb
Sentence structure R1–R6 R6 agreement: the sweet song of birds fill [fills] the air; missing
word: taking [the] shape of a tui chick).
Correct sentence punctuation (one instance of sentences
joined with a comma – see opening statement). Other
punctuation assists the reader: e.g., commas are controlled
to clarify meaning, hyphens to assist imagery (skyscraper-
like, cotton-soft), possessive apostrophe (spectators’). Some
minor error: hyphen (over-head), contraction (it’s).
One spelling error (see last sentence – thats). Text includes a
range of difficult words: visible, miniscule, adorable,
Spelling R1–R6 R6
creatures, camera, spectators, sweat, talons, certainly,
plummeting.
m~ÖÉ=NN===
Prompt 15: Good friends
Exemplar 1: I Be Kin
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Ideas R1–R6 R2 A few simple ideas.
Structural and language features of explanation not
present/undeveloped.
Organisation R1–R7 R1 Very short text.
Vocabulary R1–R6 R1 A small range of personal, everyday words.
One long sentence in which simple units of meaning are joined
by ‘and’.
Punctuation R1–R7 R1 One full stop at end of writing.
EO1501
A few personal/sight words are correct. Unfamiliar words are
Spelling R1–R6 R2 attempted using phoneme–grapheme relationships (pepall
[people], sowey [sorry]).
m~ÖÉ=NO===
Prompt 11: Music is more important than sport
Exemplar 4: I personally believe
EO1104
m~ÖÉ=NP===
Prompt 11: Music is more important than sport
Exemplar 4: I personally believe
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Ideas are complex and show evidence of generalisation to a
wider world (e.g., problems of obesity). Some ideas are not
Ideas R1–R6 R5
developed or are not explained sufficiently (e.g., the
relationship between sport and diet).
Text contains an introduction, body and conclusion and
these are developed and appropriate for purpose. Language
features are also appropriate. Text maintains a mostly
mature and academic/scientific tone, with minor lapses.
Paragraphs are controlled and developed. Topic sentences
link ideas and relate back to the position statement in the
introductory paragraph (i.e., sport helps promote health and
wellbeing).
Text includes language specific to the topic, with a sense of
Vocabulary R1–R6 R5 precision (obesity, diabetes). Use of everyday/informal
language causes some jarring (fat kids).
Sentences are correct and are used to convey precise
meanings, with impact and effect that engages the reader
Sentence structure R1–R6 R6 (Music has benefits but sport has more). Error in use of
relative pronoun in one sentence (There are many people in
the world that [who] play music).
Sentences are punctuated correctly and there is some
correct use of other punctuation (contractions and commas
Punctuation R1–R7 R5 for lists and phrasing). Some punctuation is missing. Use of
block letters throughout text is distracting and makes it
difficult to determine if capital letters are used correctly.
Some difficulty with commonly misspelt words (there/their,
to/too, loose/lose) but most high-frequency words are
Spelling R1–R6 R5
correct. Many difficult words are attempted (fulfilled,
oxygen, diabetes) and the majority are correct.
m~ÖÉ=NQ===
Exemplar 2: Margin for era
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Text has one basic idea (margin of error), which is elaborated
Ideas R1–R6 R4 through explanation. A clear opinion (main idea) is stated and
maintained through the text.
No introduction to the topic but a clear attempt at a
conclusion/summary. Uses timeless present tense: their will
Structure and language R1–R6 R3 always be a bilist [biased] refee. Text connectives (evin with ...)
and conjunctions (because, but) help to structure the argument.
Uses modal verbs (must, will never go away, will always be).
Text is coherent. ‘Paragraphs’ are indicated but their use
Organisation R1–R7 R3 appears random. Text does not display sufficient control over
grouping and sequencing of ideas for a category R4.
Some precise, technical and subject-specific words and phrases
Vocabulary R1–R6 R4 (margin for era [error], new temolge [technology], bilist
[biased]). Vocabulary goes beyond simple and everyday words.
Correct simple and complex sentences show variety. Errors
Sentence structure R1–R6 R3 include missing words (new temolge can make [it/making a
decision] beter or wors).
Some correct use of sentence punctuation. Other sentences lack
capitals to begin. Also uses a forward slash he/she (although this
would be better as ‘he or she’), and experiments with a comma
as a way of introducing explanatory statements (summary,).
A range of high-frequency words is spelt correctly. More difficult
Spelling R1–R6 R3 words are attempted, using knowledge of phoneme–grapheme
relationships (deisin [decision], bilist [biased]).
EO1302
m~ÖÉ=NR===
Exemplar 1: Yea I’m agree
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Although there is some generalisation to the wider world (a
referee has most important things to do...), the text consists of
Ideas R1–R6 R3
brief points written in list form. The main idea is related to the
topic and has some elaboration.
Some points of explanation provided in support of opinion. Uses
EO1301 Structure and language R1–R6 R2 present tense and tone is mostly appropriate (rational/logical),
with a minor slip in formality at the beginning (yea, I’m agree).
Text is very short but has coherence. Ideas are logically grouped
(i.e., important attibutes of a referee).
Uses a small number of precise, descriptive words, including
Vocabulary R1–R6 R3 adjectives (important, alert, prosive [positive]), among mostly
everyday words.
With the possible exception of a short initial sentence, the text
consists of one run-on sentence with errors (subject–verb
agreement, missing or incorrect words, noun–pronoun
agreement).
Possibly one full stop after ‘agree’ and another at end of text
(writing makes it hard to distinguish). No other sentence
punctuation. Other punctuation includes correct use of
contraction, comma and colon. Text is a mixture of upper and
lower case letters. On balance, category R2 (text has features of
category 1 and category R3).
Low R4. Spells a range of high-frequency words correctly (e.g.,
person, works, right, things, important). One difficult word spelt
Spelling R1–R6 R4
correctly (alert), and one error in a difficult word (prosive
[positive]).
m~ÖÉ=NS===
Prompt 19: The day things started disappearing
Exemplar 1: My iPod
EO1901
m~ÖÉ=NT===
Prompt 19: The day things started disappearing
Exemplar 1: My iPod
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
There is a main storyline with some development. The ideas
Ideas R1–R6 R3
do not have the complexity required to move to category R4.
Opening sentences give a clear orientation – when, what and
where. Language features are mostly appropriate: use of
Structure and language R1–R6 R3 dialogue, past tense (though not maintained through text),
nouns related to the event (beglar [burglar], Police, bag);
linking words to show sequence of events (Later that day).
Ideas are sequenced to show the order of events, but
paragraphs are not used. Tense across the text is
inconsistent, moving randomly between past and present.
This interrupts the flow.
Uses a range of everyday words and phrases, with a small
Vocabulary R1–R6 R3 number of precise words and phrases to add interest and
detail: ‘at 5:25 pm my $100 doler notes disappeared’.
Errors in verb tense and word form cause problems with
some sentences in the first part of the text (e.g., the
sentence beginning ‘Whill I was going to buy …’. The second
half of the text contains many short, correct sentences with
some variation in length (I skremnd) and type (e.g., use of
direct speech).
Some sentences in the first part of the text are correctly
punctuated with capital letters and full stops. Sentence
Punctuation R1–R7 R3 punctuation is missing in the second part of the text. No
other punctuation attempted. Some random use of capital
letters throughout the text.
A range of high-frequency words is correct. Attempts at
other words demonstrate use of phoneme–grapheme
Spelling R1–R6 R3
relationships (miss plast [misplaced], skremnd [screamed],
posabol [possible]).
m~ÖÉ=NU===
Prompt 8: Caring for planet Earth
Exemplar 3: Plastic bags
EOO803
m~ÖÉ=NV===
Exemplar 3: Plastic bags
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Ideas are complex and explore issues outside the writer’s
immediate world (the relationship between environmental,
economic and social systems). There is evidence of reflection
Ideas R1–R6 R6
(I feel a better solution ...). Elaboration is provided through
examples and evidence to support points. Main idea is
focused.
Effective introduction, which defines key terms. Conclusion
is under-developed. Text meets the purpose of the prompt.
Language features are appropriate: present tense, some use
Structure and language R1–R6 R5 of passive voice (plastic bags are used), and conjunctions to
express logical relationships (so, because). A reasoned tone
is maintained. However, use of a smiley face symbol to end
the text is inappropriate.
Ideas are grouped and use of linking words across text allows
text to flow logically. No attempt to use paragraphs;
however, the reader has a sense of where these begin and
end.
Uses subject-specific words and some academic words
(decreases, produced) appropriately to achieve the prompt
purpose. Some words are used incorrectly (unneeded; over
again).
Sentences are mostly controlled and show variation in
Sentence structure R1–R6 R5 structure. One sentence is incomplete (missing verb in
sentence beginning These problems such as ...).
Sentence punctuation is mostly correct. Correct use of a
Punctuation R1–R7 R4 comma in a list. Does not have the experimentation with
complex punctuation that is required for category R5.
No errors. Spells a range of difficult words correctly
Spelling R1–R6 R6
(pollution, effective, decompose).
m~ÖÉ=OM===
Prompt 5: Whānau and family time
Exemplar 6: Rainbow’s end
E00506
m~ÖÉ=ON===
Exemplar 6: Rainbow’s end
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Text has many ideas, some of which are elaborated.
Ideas R1–R6 R4 Generalised impression of excitement and some reflection
on feelings.
The opening sentences, while interesting, do not provide a
clear orientation to the topic (e.g., where the event is taking
place). The body of the text is developed, with a sequence of
Structure and language R1–R6 R4 events and some personal comment (e.g., I knew I was going
to have a great day). Language features are appropriate to
purpose: use of past tense and connectives denoting time
(first, last, then).
Text shows control over grouping and sequencing of ideas.
Organisation R1–R7 R4 The reader can infer where paragaph breaks would be, even
though paragaphs are not used.
Word choice adds information and detail (e.g., the names of
rides). Movement and sound are evoked through figurative
Vocabulary R1–R6 R4 language (shot down) and other simple words are used in a
precise way (round and round and up and down; up up up
click).
Sentences are correct. The majority are simple and
Sentence structure R1–R6 R4 compound, with some variety and extension (I knew I was …
I was going to ride on the log ride but it was not on …).
Correct sentence punctuation with two instances of other
Punctuation R1–R7 R4 punctuation (comma after WOW and before MMM).
Random capitals throughout.
Spells common words and some difficult words correctly
(awesome, decided, motion, power surge). Errors include of
Spelling R1–R6 R5
[off], allready, witch [which], storys, rollacosters, sandwichies.
Length of text gets this over the line into category R5.
m~ÖÉ=OO===
Exemplar 2: Sn
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Ideas R1–R6 R1 Ideas cannot be inferred from text.
Structure and language R1–R6 R1 No structural or language features appropriate to purpose.
Organisation R1–R7 R1 Very short script that has no coherence.
Two personal words: I (although difficult to distinguish whether
it is intended as a separate word) and the.
Sentence structure R1–R6 R1 Text consists of fragments.
Punctuation R1–R7 R1 No use of punctuation.
Letter names are used to represent meaning. Spells two words
Spelling R1–R6 R1
from personal vocabulary correctly (I, the).
E00502
m~ÖÉ=OP===
Prompt 7: What I did well
Exemplar 2: Stifcit
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Ideas are simple and unelaborated. An emerging main idea –
Ideas R1–R6 R3
proud of receiving a certificate.
Recounts an event – the day a certificate was received – with
some personal comment. Opening sentence provides a basic
orientation to the topic. Language features are appropriate:
mostly consistent use of past tense (one minor error ‘tech’
[teach]), connectives to show sequence of events (then, when,
after), first person pronouns.
Text is sequenced to show order of events. Pronoun it is a little
distant from the noun it refers to (stifcit).
Vocabulary R1–R6 R2 Uses a range of simple, everyday words.
Correct simple, compound and basic complex sentences (e.g.,
Sentence structure R1–R6 R2 basic complex sentence When we went to class I put it in my
book bag). Sentences are short with minimal extension.
Some sentences are punctuated correctly (particularly towards
end of text). No other punctuation is attempted.
Spells a small range of personal and high-frequency words
Spelling correctly (class, proud, when, book, after, home, they, were).
R1–R6 R2
E00702 Attempts at some other words use phoneme–grapheme
relationships – all sounds are present (my saoulf, tech).
m~ÖÉ=OQ===
Prompt 1: Dogs at the beach
Exemplar 2: The adventerous dog
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Ideas are relevant to topic. Ideas are simple (drawn from a
Ideas R1–R6 R3 familiar world – pet dog, beach, fireside scene) with some basic
elaboration.
Structural and language features are not appropriate for
Structure and language R1–R6 R1 prompt’s purpose. They are suitable for the purpose ‘to narrate’
rather than the purpose ‘to describe’.
Text generally flows but is interrupted by problems with
pronouns (I/we/they), which lead to confusion about
participants. Repetition and incorrect use of ‘so’ cause glitches
in clause relationships.
Vocabulary R1–R6 R2 Uses a range of simple, everyday words.
Correct simple, compound and complex sentences. Sentences
E00102 are short and have minimal extension. High R2.
One instance of correct full stop. Letter formation makes it
Punctuation R1–R7 R2 difficult to determine use of capital letter for dog’s name. Some
incorrect use of capitals (Hot, Jam).
Spells a wide range of high-frequency words correctly (beach,
love, out, fire, drinking, eating, some). Some harder high-
Spelling R1–R6 R4 frequency words are also correct (chocolate, scones). Two errors
with longer words (adventerous, returend). Text does not
contain the difficult words required for category R5.
m~ÖÉ=OR===
Exemplar 1: The Erfeh
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Ideas are related to the topic, with some simple elaboration
Ideas R1–R6 R3 (e.g., ways of using recycled plastic around the house).
Introduces but does not develop the idea of ‘government’.
Simple but effective introduction. Body has some supporting
examples. Uses simple present tense throughout, with some
action verbs (taek ker [take care], Brning [burning]) and
appropriate linking words (thats wy [that’s why], an fornehle
[unfortunately]). The tone is mostly appropriate, with minor
lapses (e.g., use of the informal expression do saFF [do stuff]).
Some attempt to group ideas (e.g., good things/bad things). Text
has some coherence.
A small number of precise words are used (Reyslekling
Vocabulary [recycling], Ben lienrs [bin liners], flie awaey [fly away]), along
R1–R6 R3
with everyday words. Uses an adjective (frahiel [fragile]) to add
detail.
Transcript/possible interpretation:
Low R3. Correct sentences in the first part of the writing show
some variety. Sentences begin to run on towards the end of the
The Earth is a fragile planet thats why we need to take care of it un Sentence structure R1–R6 R3
text; other sentences contain errors such as subject–verb
fortunately there are people who make the [pollution] worse but
agreement (ther is pepel [there is people]).
there is people who make it better and they do stuff like recycling
plastic using it for things around the house such as bin liners home Punctuation is not used. Apparent full stops are actually dots for
made [kites] and [.....] broken window then bad things like burning it the letter ‘i’ on the line below.
and letting it fly away and then there’s the Government doing [.....] is
going good A small number of high-frequency words are spelt correctly (the,
Spelling is, but, then, and, like). Other words are attempted using
R1–R6 R2 phoneme–grapheme relationships (erfeh, reyslekling, pepel).
EO0801 Some words have all the correct letters, but in the wrong order
(hosue, taek).
m~ÖÉ=OS===
Prompt 3: Girl
Exemplar 1: The girl
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Ideas R1–R6 R1 One brief idea can be discerned (the girl is happy/angry).
Structural and language features for purpose are absent or
E00301
Structure and language R1–R6 R1 undeveloped, due to the short length of the text. On balance,
category R1.
Organisation R1–R7 R1 Very short text.
A small range of words from personal vocabulary (the, girl, is,
because, sun, happy).
Text consists of one short sentence. It is not possible to judge
Sentence structure R1–R6 R1 the correctness of this sentence as the meaning is difficult to
access.
Punctuation R1–R7 R1 No punctuation. Random capital letters.
Correctly spells a few words from personal vocabulary (the, girl,
Spelling R1–R6 R2 is, sun). Uses knowledge of phoneme–grapheme relationships to
attempt other words (bekas).
m~ÖÉ=OT===
Exemplar 2: Think about
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Ideas are simple and show some basic elaboration (e.g., very
Ideas R1–R6 R3
long and stickey).
Level of formality is mostly appropriate (uses informal
expression so like). Includes appropriate structural features:
generalised introduction about frogs (Well a frog lives near
water ... from rock to rock), followed by a description of the life
cycle. The concluding sentence brings the writing to a
satisfactory close (and the cycle happens again). Language
features are appropriate: present tense, use of linking words to
show sequence (when, then, after a while).
Like ideas are grouped into basic paragraphs: where frogs live,
what they eat, how they move, their life cycle.
A small number of precise, subject-specific words: hatches,
swamp, lake, tounges.
Most sentences (simple, compound and complex) are correct.
Sentence structure R1–R6 R3 Sentences begin to show variety and some have extension, using
mostly simple conjunctions (and, but).
Some correct use of sentence punctuation. Experiments with
Punctuation R1–R7 R3 apostrophes (fly’s, tounge’s). Correct use of a comma in a
compound sentence.
Correct spelling includes swamp and hatches. Errors show over-
generalisation (stickey) and common misspelling (there for
Spelling R1–R6 R4
‘their’). Attempts difficult word (tounge). Other errors include
tadpol, in stead , be come, olso, fly’s.
01002
m~ÖÉ=OU===
Prompt 1: Dogs at the beach
Exemplar 3: When I
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Text has several elaborated ideas. Personal reflection about
Ideas R1–R6 R4
feelings and about dogs with no owners shows some complexity.
Text achieves purpose through use of sensory language and
control of structure.
Paragraphs are controlled and add to the development of the
text.
High R3. Uses a range of everyday words and phrases, with
some precise words to add detail (running free, saltyness, raw
fish, seagulls fighting). Some simple onomatopoeia (crashing,
splashing).
Sentences are correct. There is an attempt to create an effect,
using repeated sentence beginnings.
On balance, category R4. Sentence punctuation is minimal but
there is controlled use of other punctuation (brackets, a comma
to indicate phrasing ‘free, away from their owners’, new line for
direct speech, contraction).
A wide range of high-frequency words is spelt correctly. Text
Spelling R1–R6 R4
contains only one attempt at a difficult word (saltyness).
E00103
m~ÖÉ=OV===
Exemplar 1: Yea I’m agree
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
Although there is some generalisation to the wider world (a
referee has most important things to do...), the text consists of
Ideas R1–R6 R3
brief points written in list form. The main idea is related to the
topic and has some elaboration.
Some points of explanation provided in support of opinion. Uses
EO1301 Structure and language R1–R6 R2 present tense and tone is mostly appropriate (rational/logical),
with a minor slip in formality at the beginning (yea, I’m agree).
Text is very short but has coherence. Ideas are logically grouped
(i.e., important attibutes of a referee).
Uses a small number of precise, descriptive words, including
Vocabulary R1–R6 R3 adjectives (important, alert, prosive [positive]), among mostly
everyday words.
With the possible exception of a short initial sentence, the text
consists of one run-on sentence with errors (subject–verb
agreement, missing or incorrect words, noun–pronoun
agreement).
Possibly one full stop after ‘agree’ and another at end of text
(writing makes it hard to distinguish). No other sentence
punctuation. Other punctuation includes correct use of
contraction, comma and colon. Text is a mixture of upper and
lower case letters. On balance, category R2 (text has features of
category 1 and category R3).
Low R4. Spells a range of high-frequency words correctly (e.g.,
person, works, right, things, important). One difficult word spelt
Spelling R1–R6 R4
correctly (alert), and one error in a difficult word (prosive
[positive]).
m~ÖÉ=PM===
Prompt 16: A community facility
Exemplar 3: Youth gym
Transcript:
I think that Whangarei needs a gym made just for youth. It should be
located somewhere central e.g. Bank Street. It is needed because
people under the age of 16 are not allowed to go and work out at the
Whangarei Gym. The council should pay for this and all the proceeds
from the memberships at the gym should go towards helping the
council fund other projects. The benefits of this is that the council will
have more money (eventually), there will be less teens hanging
around and possibly vandalising property and it gives our youth a
chance to stay fit and healthy.
The council will be able to gain a lot of money through this gym
because by the time all of the equipment is payed off then all the
money that they earn goes straight to them to put towards other
projects that may need help funding, such as more motor-ways to
help trafic flow faster after work hours. In this way I think it will be
much better for the council to take money from the gym rather than
tax payers.
There will be a lot less teenaged people just hanging around town or
in the streets. Instead of just hanging around or vandalising property
they could be at the gym. Which, I think will benefit a lot of people,
not only the peoples property. It also gives teens somewhere to go to
stay fit, build muscle or just something to do with friends. Instead of
having fat lazy youth hanging around they could go to the gym to lose
weight.
In conclusion I think that building a new gym specificly for youths is a

great idea, not does it benefit them but it also benefits a wide range
of people within the community and can help the council to fund new
stuff. And who doesn’t like that.
EO1603
m~ÖÉ=PN===
Prompt 16: A community facility
Exemplar 3: Youth gym
RUBRIC RUBRIC
RANGE CATEGORY
The main idea is focused and elaborated. Complex issues are
Ideas R1–R6 R6
raised (vandalism, community values).
Opening paragraph introduces the topic and the main
supporting points. These are developed through the text,
and summarised in the conclusion. Elements of persuasion
are used to meet the overall purpose of explanation. The
tone is mostly reasoned (use of the smiley face symbol at the
end of the text is inappropriate).
Paragraphs support the development of the text. Each
paragraph introduces one of the main supporting ideas
(making money for the community, fewer teens on the
street, health benefits) and develops it with supporting
detail. Linking words clarify the relationship between ideas
and between paragraphs (e.g., In conclusion).
Uses a variety of precise, academic words (located, proceeds,
Vocabulary R1–R6 R5 benefits, specificly). Use of everyday words causes some
jarring (fat lazy youth).
Sentences show variety and most are controlled, with use of
some sophisticated structures (e.g., not only ... but also).
Sentence structure R1–R6 R5 Some use of sentences for effect (e.g., And who doesn’t like
that). Minor error in subject–verb agreement (benefits/is)
and tense (all they money that they earn goes).
Sentence punctuation is mostly correct in a longer text.
Errors include an incomplete sentence (Which I think ...) and
a comma used to join two sentences (great idea, not only).
Other correct punctuation includes parentheses, commas for
lists and phrases, a contraction (doesn’t) and capital letters
for proper nouns.
Spells high-frequency words correctly. Correct difficult words
Spelling R1–R6 R5 include eventually, equipment, vandalising, muscle. Incorrect
words are payed, trafic, specificly.
m~ÖÉ=PO===

e-asTTle Stuff

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

e-asTTle Stuff

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

e-asTTle Stuff

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

e-asTTle writing

Exemplar 4: And the All Blacks scored!

Exemplar 4: And the All Blacks scored!

Exemplar 1: By the mall

Exemplar 4: Don’t move

Exemplar 4: Don’t move

Ideas show originality and insight, with reference to

Exemplar 3: Evolving life pattern

Exemplar 3: Evolving life pattern

Exemplar 1: Fealing seaweed

Exemplar 3: Heavy-booted feet

Exemplar 3: Heavy-booted feet

Exemplar 4: I personally believe

Exemplar 4: I personally believe

Exemplar 2: Margin for era

Exemplar 1: Yea I’m agree

Exemplar 3: Plastic bags

Exemplar 3: Plastic bags

Exemplar 6: Rainbow’s end

Exemplar 6: Rainbow’s end

Exemplar 2: The adventerous dog

Exemplar 1: The Erfeh

Exemplar 1: The girl

Exemplar 2: Think about

Exemplar 1: Yea I’m agree

Exemplar 3: Youth gym

In conclusion I think that building a new gym specificly for youths is a

Exemplar 3: Youth gym

You might also like

Pfad - The Proxy pFad of © 2024 Garber Painting. All rights reserved.