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Being A Good Listener

The document outlines 4 characteristics of a good listener: 1. They encourage the speaker to elaborate and provide more details rather than speaking themselves. 2. They seek clarification on vague statements and explore the deeper attitudes and underlying issues. 3. Good listeners do not moralize or judge the speaker, accepting their vulnerabilities rather than being appalled. 4. They can disagree with the speaker but make it clear that disagreement does not equal criticism of the person.

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Mathew Lumapas
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80 views

Being A Good Listener

The document outlines 4 characteristics of a good listener: 1. They encourage the speaker to elaborate and provide more details rather than speaking themselves. 2. They seek clarification on vague statements and explore the deeper attitudes and underlying issues. 3. Good listeners do not moralize or judge the speaker, accepting their vulnerabilities rather than being appalled. 4. They can disagree with the speaker but make it clear that disagreement does not equal criticism of the person.

Uploaded by

Mathew Lumapas
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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20160940 – LUMAPAS, MATHEW EMANUEL V.

BSA-1A
ENGLISH 100 –Being A Good Listener

In paragraph form, enumerate the characteristics of what it takes to be a good listener.


Explain each characteristics.

1. They Egg us on

It's hard to know our own minds, often worrying in the vicinity of something,
but do not quite close in on what's really bothering or exciting us. We hugely
benefit from encouragement to elaborate, to go into greater detail, to push just a
little further. We need someone who rather than launch forth on their own will
simply say those two magic words "Go on". we tend our histories in mind, which
refer back to what we said or done before and we feel they building up a deeper
base of engagement.

2. The good listener urges clarification.

It is fatally easy to say vague things, we simply mention that something is


lovely or terrible, nice or annoying, but we do not really explore why we feel this
way. The friend who listens often has a productive, frendly suspicion of some of
our own first statements and it is after the deeper attitudes that they are lurking in
the background. It is bringing listening and ambitioning to clarify the underline
issues.
They do not see conversation as the swapping of anedoctes, they are
reconnecting the chat that you are having over pizza with with the phylosophical
ambitions of Socrates, whose dialogues are records of his attempts to help fellow
athenians understand their ideas and values in a better way.

3. Good listeners do not moralise

The good listener is accurately aware of how insane we all are. They know
their own minds well enough not to be surprised or frightened about this.They
give the impression that they recognise and accept our follies, they reassuring us
that they are not going to shred our dignity.

A big worrying in a competitive world is that we feel we cannot afford to be


honest about how distressed we are, saying one feels like a failure could mean
being dropped. But the good listener signals early and clearly that they do not see
us in these terms. Our vulnerability is something they warm to, rather than they
are appalled by.

4. Good listeners separate disagreement from criticism

There is a huge tendency to feel that being disagreed with is an expression of


hostility and obviously sometimes that is right. But a good listener makes it clear
that they can really like you and, at the same time, think you are wrong. When we
are in the company of people who listen well we experience a very powerful
pleasure but too often we do not really realize what it is this person is doing that
so nice. By paying strategic attention to the pleasure we can learn to magnify it
and offer it to others, who will notice, hear and repay the favour in turn. Listening
deserves discovery as one of the keys to a good society.

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