School Counselors: Cameron Hughes

Activity: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

Grade: 9th Grade
ASCA Mindsets & Behaviors: M1, M3, B-LS 1, B-SMS 1, B-SMS 7, B-SMS 9, B-SS 1, B-SS
2, B-SS 4, B-SS 5, B-SS 8, B-SS 9

Learning Objectives:
1. Students will define types of relationships.
2. Students will analyze components of healthy relationships.
3. Students will evaluate if relationship scenarios are healthy or unhealthy.

Materials: Large post-it papers, markers, printed scenarios

Procedure:
1. Think-Pair-Share (5 minutes)
a. Students will think about and write down an answer to, “What is the most
important thing to have in a relationship?” Students will pair up and share with a
partner. Then, the counselor will lead the class in a whole-group discussion.
2. Defining Relationships Powerpoint/Discussion (5 minutes)
a. What are the different types of relationships that we have in our lives? (teacher-
student, peer, coaches, romantic, etc)
b. Dating relationships are a type of peer relationship, which are relationships with
people on the same level as you in terms of power, age, similar life stages.
c. What is the purpose of dating?
3. Use Your Senses Activity (15 minutes)
a. Students will split up into four groups. As a group they will travel around the
room to separate large post-it papers. Each paper will have a different prompt that
the students will answer. Groups will spend 2 minutes at each station.
i. When I see people in a healthy relationship, I see them doing things like:
ii. When I hear people in a healthy relationship, I hear them saying things
like:
iii. When people are in a healthy relationship, they usually feel:
iv. When I see people in an unhealthy relationship, I see or hear them doing
things like:
b. The counselor will help facilitate a large group discussion about some of the
answers written on the papers:
i. Which poster was easiest/hardest to fill up, and why?
ii. Review healthy relationship statements; what does each mean? In my
relationships:
1. I get to be myself.
2. I treat others well.
3. I can say no.
4. I have fun.
4. Role Play (30 minutes)
a. Students will be placed into groups of 3-4. Each group will receive a role-play
skit. Students will read the scenarios out loud and discuss whether they believe it
 was an example of a healthy or unhealthy relationship. Then, they will decide
who will play each role.
b. Once all groups are finished, each group will present their skit in front of the
class.
c. After each group acts out their skit, the counselor will facilitate a brief discussion
about the scenario.
i. Was it healthy or unhealthy? Ask students to give a thumbs up or thumbs
down.
ii. What could you do to make the relationship healthier?
iii. What would you do if you were in a similar situation?
5. Exit slip (5 minutes)
a. Students will read an example of an unhealthy relationship and explain what they
would change to make the relationship healthy.

Plan for Evaluation: How will each of the following be collected?

Process Data: 20 8th grade students will interact with one 60-minute lesson on healthy
relationships.

Perception Data: Students will demonstrate their knowledge of healthy relationships on exit
slips.

Outcome Data: The school counselor will analyze the change in school climate by assessing the
number of counselor visits regarding relationship-related problems.

Follow-Up: The school counselor will remind students of components of the lesson during
counselor visits regarding relationships. The cooperating classroom teacher will ask students
about components of a healthy relationship at the beginning of the next class.

Role Play Scenarios:

Read through your scenario and discuss with your group whether your scenario is a healthy or
unhealthy relationship. Then, decide who will play which role and act out the script you’ve been
given to the class. As a class, we will discuss where the aspects of unhealthy relationships
occurred and what the relationship might look like if it were healthy.

Scenario One (3 people):

Person 1: I don’t know how to say this, but I don’t think we should continue dating. I just feel
like we have a lot of differences. I’m really sorry.

Person 2: Are you kidding me? We’ve spent six months together. How can you just end things
like that?

Person 1: I’m sorry. It’s not anything that you did, but I just don’t think I can put this much
energy into the emotions you’re always feeling.

Person 2: If you break up with me, I don’t know if I can go on.

Person 1: Don’t say that.

Person 2: I mean it. I need you. Do you want me to hurt myself?

Person 1: No. I don’t want anything to happen to you. I still care about you.

Person 2: Then don’t break up with me.

Person 1: Okay. Let’s try to work things out.

Friend (15 minutes later) : Wait I thought you were going to end things with them?

Person 1: I was, but I can’t break up with them. If I do, then who will be there for them?

Role Play Scenarios:

Read through your scenario and discuss with your group whether your scenario is a healthy or
unhealthy relationship. Then, decide who will play which role and act out the script you’ve been
given to the class. As a class, we will discuss where the aspects of unhealthy relationships
occurred and what the relationship might look like if it were healthy.

Scenario 2 (3 people):

Friend: Hey, can we hang out this weekend?

Partner 1: Yeah I definitely want to. Let me just check with my partner.

Friend: Okay cool. Let me know what time works for you.

……….

Partner 2: What should we do next weekend? I just can’t wait to spend time with you.

Partner 1: I actually think I’m going to hang out with my friends this weekend.

Partner 2: Wait seriously…? I thought we always hung out on the weekends. That’s my time
with you. That’s so annoying.

Partner 1: I do want to spend time with you, but I need to see my friends too.

Partner 2: You see them at school though. I just want to actually have time with just you. That’s
what couples are supposed to do.

Partner 1: I know. I know. It’s hard because I obviously want to see you, but they’re my friends.

Partner 2: Whatever. Just go hang out with them. I just think that’s annoying because you get to
hang out with them at school, but the weekends are our time together.

Partner 1: It seems like you’re upset about this whole thing, so I’ll just tell them I can’t hangout
this time.

Role Play Scenarios:

Read through your scenario and discuss with your group whether your scenario is a healthy or
unhealthy relationship. Then, decide who will play which role and act out the script you’ve been
given to the class. As a class, we will discuss where the aspects of unhealthy relationships
occurred and what the relationship might look like if it were healthy.

Scenario 3 (4 people):

Partner 1: *talking to 2 friends*

Partner 2: Can I talk to you?

Partner 1: Sure.

Partner 2: Why are you always talking to those two?

Partner 1: Because they’re my friends? I don’t get what the problem is.

Partner 2: I don’t think they want to just be friends.

Partner 1: No that’s ridiculous. They know we’re dating. Don’t worry you know I wouldn’t do
anything.

Partner 2: I know. I just don’t trust them.

……….

*Partner 2 goes to talk to the two friends*

Partner 2: I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but they’re mine. Stay away from them.

Role Play Scenarios:

Read through your scenario and discuss with your group whether your scenario is a healthy or
unhealthy relationship. Then, decide who will play which role and act out the script you’ve been
given to the class. As a class, we will discuss where the aspects of unhealthy relationships
occurred and what the relationship might look like if it were healthy.

Scenario 4 (3 people):

Partner 1: We’re going to see the new horror movie this weekend. Is that cool?

Partner 2: Yeah that’s good.

…………..

Friend: Wait I thought you didn’t like horror movies?

Partner 2: I don’t at all. They freak me out, but that’s what they want to do.

Friend: Why do you always just let them tell you what to do?

Partner 2: It’s fine. I don’t really like making decisions anyway.

Role Play Scenarios:

Read through your scenario and discuss with your group whether your scenario is a healthy or
unhealthy relationship. Then, decide who will play which role and act out the script you’ve been
given to the class. As a class, we will discuss where the aspects of unhealthy relationships
occurred and what the relationship might look like if it were healthy.
Scenario 5 (3 people):

Partner 1: *texting someone*

Partner 2: *looking over partner 1’s shoulder* What are you two talking about?

Partner 1: Why do you always want to know what I’m saying to my friends?

Partner 2: I’m just curious. We’re dating, so we should trust each other enough to be able to look
through each other’s phones.

…………..

Partner 1: They made me take the password off my phone so they can check it whenever they
want.

Friend: Why do they need to do that?

Partner 1: I don’t know, I guess we should just trust each other.

Role Play Scenarios:

Read through your scenario and discuss with your group whether your scenario is a healthy or
unhealthy relationship. Then, decide who will play which role and act out the script you’ve been
given to the class. As a class, we will discuss where the aspects of unhealthy relationships
occurred and what the relationship might look like if it were healthy.

Scenario 6 (3 people):
Partner 1: Hey, I thought we were going to get dinner together last night, why didn’t you text
back?

Partner 2: My parents made me stay home for dinner.

Friend: But I saw you at the football game with Sam.

*partner 1 and friend both give sassy looks to partner 2*

Partner 2: Why do you need to know where I am? Sometimes I just want to be with friends.

Partner 1: But you lie about where you are all the time.

Partner 2: Yeah, so you’ll get off my back.

Role Play Scenarios:

Read through your scenario and discuss with your group whether your scenario is a healthy or
unhealthy relationship. Then, decide who will play which role and act out the script you’ve been
given to the class. As a class, we will discuss where the aspects of unhealthy relationships
occurred and what the relationship might look like if it were healthy.

Scenario 7 (3 people):
Partner 1: I don’t know if we should still be together. I think I would be happier on my own right
now.

Partner 2: But we make each other happy. We always have fun together.

Partner 1: I think I just want to work on myself for a while.

Partner 2: But we love each other. Do you really think you’re going to be able to find someone
else who loves you like I do?

…………..

Friend: Why do you keep dating them when it makes you feel bad?

Partner 1: But they love me. What if I can’t find someone else?

Role Play Scenarios:

Read through your scenario and discuss with your group whether your scenario is a healthy or
unhealthy relationship. Then, decide who will play which role and act out the script you’ve been
given to the class. As a class, we will discuss where the aspects of unhealthy relationships
occurred and what the relationship might look like if it were healthy.

Scenario 8 (4 people):

Partner 1: Hey ugly, what are you doing after school?

Partner 2: I don’t like it when you call me ugly.

Partner 1: I’m just joking, don’t take it so seriously.

Partner 2: *sigh* whatever.

…………..

Friend 1: Why do you let them talk about you like that?

Partner 2: They’re just joking around.

Friend 2: But it makes you feel bad.

Partner 2: It’s okay, they’re not being serious.