Developing Soft Skills and Personality

Prof. T. Ravichandran.
Department of Humanities and Social Sciences
Indian Institute of Technology, Kanpur

Lecture – 36
Non- Verbal Communication: Pre-thinking Assessment-2

Hello everyone, Welcome back to Developing Soft Skills and Personality Course. This is
from IIT Kanpur, using NPTEL and MOOC mode, we are in the final, module of week
number 6 and this is the last lecture of this module that is lecture number 36. We started
with communication skills in general for this entire week and towards the conclusion starting
with a previous lecture. I started checking your existing knowledge about non- verbal
communication by giving you Pre-thinking Assessment activity. We did the first one in
the previous lecture and we will do the next one in this.

(Refer Slide Time: 01:14)

But, what did you learn from the first one? Let us take a quick look at what you learn
from the first one, I try to give you a test in the form of true or false just to check your
non-verbal communication and that was the first three, Pre-thinking Assessment use to
check your existing knowledge about body language and to clear certain misconceptions
about non-verbal communication. So, I mix the true or false statement, but for just a
quick review of what I did, let us look at the true statements first, and then look at the
false statements. In the Pre-thinking assessment, there were 11 true statements, and 4
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false statements, for your convenience, I have put all eleven statements under true first,
and then, false statements 4 of them under false. So, let us look at them very quickly.

The true statements were; 1. Women have natural sensitivity towards body language than
men. 2. A dishonest person avoids eye contact. 3. The more space a person occupies, the
more power he enjoys. 4. One shows traits of aggressiveness while sitting with his legs
on a desk with his hands clasped behind his head, especially before someone. 5. Crossing
the hands, legs or the ankles is a defensive gesture. 6. Steepling with the fingers and
hands show confidence. 7. Smoking a cigarette, especially before an interview or such
activity, is considered a sign of anxiety or nervousness. 8. Showing your thumbs up
indicates a successfully completed job or victory. 9. Babies are more sensitive to body
language than adults. 10. Involuntary body language reveals a person’s inner thinking or
feelings. 11. People maintain their appointments and meet deadlines according to their
perceptions of time.

Now, the false statements which were 4 in number, first one, Sitting lower than the other
person with whom you are interacting indicates dominance or authority is false. Second,
Resting your hand in the palm of your hand indicates interest in the subject is also false,
because it indicates burden. Third one, Non-verbal communication is less intense and
impactful than verbal communication, no it is more intense. Four, When we stop talking
to somebody verbally, we stop the entire communication itself, wrong, because we start
communicating non-verbally the moment we stop verbally. In fact, we are all the time
communicating verbally as well as non-verbally.

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(Refer Slide Time: 03:48)

Let us go to the second Pre-thinking assessment in this lecture, and the objective is the
same as the previous one. It’s just to check your existing knowledge about body
language and to clear certain misconceptions about non-verbal communication.

(Refer Slide Time: 04:00)

Again, a very simple true or false mode. Take your note book or a piece of paper, take
your pen or pencil, whatever you prefer and then you just have to write down this time
about 10 questions and say true or false. Again, I will repeat the questions and that is the
time you have got, as I said, avoid pausing it, going back and then re-listening.
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(Refer Slide Time: 04:33)

Listen to it carefully. I am going to repeat it and use the time to write true or false, it is
important you response spontaneously so that, you can really assist what is your actual
inherent knowledge in your mind and if it is wrong, then you can undo it, okay. So, do
not think so much, act very spontaneously.

The first one, say true or false. Silence can be used as a powerful means of dominance.
The question is like can we really you silence as a powerful as a powerful means of
dominance. So, say true or false.

(Refer Slide Time: 05:13)

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Let me go the next one, second one, Non-verbal communication can contradict verbal
meaning. Non-verbal communication that is our body language can contradict verbal
meaning which means, you say something, but then can your body language mean
something else, by the way it behaves, by the way it acts. So, that is question number 2,
Non-verbal communication can contradict verbal meaning. I hope you have given the
answer.

(Refer Slide Time: 05:47)

I am going to the next one, question number 3. Non-verbal communication can be used
as a substitute for verbal communication. Non-verbal communication can be used as a
substitute for verbal communication. This means, instead of using words, can you use
non verbal communication, so think about it, say true or false.

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(Refer Slide Time: 06:16)

I am going to the next one, Some non-verbal signs are universal and commonly
acceptable. Some non-verbal signs are universal and commonly acceptable.

(Refer Slide Time: 06:32)

Fifth one, Gestures, which indicate similar verbal meaning, can differ non-verbally
according to their cultural backgrounds.

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So, gestures, okay, whatever, you do, using your hand and part of your body. In verbal
communication, it may mean the same thing, but it can differ non-verbally according to
their cultural backgrounds, that is the statement, say true or false.

(Refer Slide Time: 07:08)

Let me go to the next one; sixth one, The face is the most powerful channel of non-
verbal communication. So, we have lots of channels, face, hands, our entire body, our
leg, feet, even the fingers, even our posture, the way we sit. But overall it is said that the
face is the most powerful channel of non-verbal communication. Say true or false.

(Refer Slide Time: 07:41)

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Okay, let me go to the next one; seventh one, We move away from persons we dislike. It
means, we maintain distance, we tried to move away from persons we dislike in terms of
body language say true or false.

(Refer Slide Time: 08:03)

Next one, Negative non-verbal signals are more noticeable than the positive ones. So,
positive ones, like happiness, negative ones like depression, negative non-verbal signals
are more noticeable than the positive ones. Just say true or false.

(Refer Slide Time: 08:28)

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Ninth one, Awareness of your body language can help you control it. So, it simply means
knowing your body language can help you control it say true or false.

(Refer Slide Time: 08:47)

And the last one, tenth one, It is difficult to fake body language for a long period of time.
So, fake is to cheat, sometimes you can use your body language to hide certain things.
So, the question is asking, or it says, it is difficult to fake body language for a long period
of time, okay.

(Refer Slide Time: 09:10)

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Let me go to the answers, be ready to give one mark each for the correct answers, and
zero for the wrong ones. The first one, answer is true. Silence can be used as a powerful
means of dominance. Yes, between intimate relationships, between boss and the worker.
When one of the persons stops talking, avoids interacting so silence can be used as a
powerful means of dominance. The other person, if he or she cares about the
relationship, submits, becomes submissive, yields to what our demands given by the
other person. So, this is interesting right, you don’t have to always shout, yell at the other
person, talk all the time to control, but you can you silence very effectively to control the
other person especially in terms of relationships, contacts, in terms of human
communication.

The second one is also true. Non-verbal communication can contradict verbal meaning.
So, it simply means your body language can contradict what you tell someone. So, you
say I am not interested, but your eyes are showing that you are really interested. So, that
is what it means. The third one, Non-verbal communication can be used as a substitute
for verbal communication. The answer is true as it is given in the picture it itself. You
can say, silence please or you can simply put your finger on the mouth indicating don’t
talk. You can say stop this nonsense or you can very powerfully just show your hand and
tell the person just stop it, I don’t like it.

Fourth one, is also true. Some non-verbal signs are universal and commonly acceptable.
Yes! In fact, most of the non-verbal signs are universal and commonly acceptable. For
example, happiness for example, we are going to look at some basic expressions, non-
verbal signs which are universally acceptable, but this face that indicates happiness and
the face that indicate sorrow. So, there is no two opinions on that. So, it is universally
acceptable. The next one, Gestures, which indicate similar verbal meaning, can differ
non- verbally according to their cultural backgrounds showing the sign. For example, it
can verbally mean one thing, but culturally it can mean different things, when you show
the way in different backgrounds. So, one has to be careful. So, this again we will look at
with more examples.

The sixth one, The face is the most powerful channel of non-verbal communication. The
answer is true; because, if you observe only the face, the eyes, the way the face looks
then, the smile or lack of smile, the seriousness or lack of seriousness everything can be
seen from the face itself. So, you can easily gage the person’s interest by looking at the
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facial expressions. The seventh answer is also true. We move away from persons we
dislike. Yes and we gravitate, move towards the persons we like. So, I have put the
picture where these two small boys they like each other, they want to be close, they put
hand on each other. But when you don’t like someone, you try to maintain distance, you
don’t want to go close.

Eighth one, Negative non-verbal signals are more noticeable than positive ones.
Obviously, yes, unless you are very expert in concealing, when you are sad, close people
will notice it immediately. So, you can even hide your happiness little bit, okay, but this
sadness, depression that you are unhappy, you are angry, you are frustrated, so those
things will be seen by your posture, by the way you talk, by the way you respond to
people. Ninth one, is also true. Awareness of your body language can help you control it.
It is a very important one as far as our course is concerned and our lesson is concerned
because if you know your body language, the knowledge about what your body can do in
terms of communication, how you can use your body, how you can use non-verbal
communication very effectively, it will help you control it both to help you communicate
properly, as well as to avoid some of the limitations that the involuntary body language
will cause in you. So, it is true. Awareness will actually help you to control it.

The last one; tenth one, It is difficult to fake body language for a long period of time.
Yes, so, if you are happy, you can hide and show that you are sad, but sometime and
vice-versa. If you are sad, you can hide it for some time, but in times it will be seen by
people, you cannot fake, you cannot hide it for a long period of time. So, it is very
difficult to fake body language for a long period of time.

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(Refer Slide Time: 15:24)

Let us go to your score analysis. I hope this time you have done better. There are only 10
questions and all of them were true. 9 out of 10, if you have got, you are outstanding in
terms of non-verbal communication you are already an expert. 8 to 9, is very good, it is
in the excellent category. 6 to 7 is good, but 6 to 5 is average or slightly above average, if
you are touching 6. 3 to 4 is below average and 0 to 2 is poor. As I was telling you, if
you are going below 6, you definitely need to improve you a lot. If you are in good, very
good category, you can enhance. If you are outstanding, just keep checking where you
are lacking in something, where you need more skills to develop, but you are already
have, you have developed something in terms of non-verbal skills or you are a good
observer already, hold the skill and that is the one, that is going to help you in terms of
developing soft skills and your personality.

Now, before I conclude, I want to continue with something I talked about two lectures
before, about the Barriers in Communication. Now, one aspect of body language which
we will talk about later, but it is just sort of relevant to what we have done today is
accessories. Now think about this question.

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(Refer Slide Time: 17:07)

I am not giving you any marks, but can accessories, that is the clothing, the dress you
wear, the perfume you have, the groom in the way you dressed, the watch you wear, the
bracelet, ear rings, nose ring, necklace, the makeup you put or the makeup you don’t put,
dying of hair, the color you use for dying or not dying, moustache type, having
moustache, not having it and having different kinds of moustache, hair style, type belt,
hand bag, foot wear, so wearing shoes or slippers, high heels. Now, all these are
accessories which also contribute to our body language and they are symbolically try to
convey something.

But can they act as a physical or psychological barrier? Do accessories enhance the
effectiveness of communication or act as barriers? So, what is your answer? Do
accessories enhance the effectiveness of communication or act as barriers? The answer
is, depends on what accessories you use, how appropriately you use, and in which
context you use and to whom you use and what kind of meaning you want to convey
through the accessories. I will give you some examples and it becomes must clear to you.

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(Refer Slide Time: 18:39)

Take for example; High-heels, now high-heels actually help maintaining eye-contact for
the females, the women, especially, if they have less height. So, if they want to look up,
looks straight eye to eye to the men who are taller. So, this gives a kind of feeling that
they are on par, they are equal, and they don’t have to look up to the male bosses. So,
that gives some security, but, if somebody is wearing a diamond studded high-heels it
will be a distracter or any kind of high-heels that will just glare the eyes of other people
instead of looking at the person into the eyes, responding to the facial expressions, if they
keep looking at the high-heels that is worn. So, that is really a distracter and it’s going to
be a kind of barrier, both physical as well as psychological.

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(Refer Slide Time: 19:47)

Same way, the accessory barrier can have in terms of any inappropriate accessory that is
use in inappropriate situations, clothing for example. Do you wear a costly or cheap
clothing? So that depends on the context. In an interview for example, so you are
expected to go with a decent, clean one, but then if you go with this very costly jackets,
okay and then the brand is known, some leather jacket, were even when it is not cold and
then branded just to flaunt the brand, sometimes over dressing and sometimes dressing
skimpily would revealing where it is not required.

So, the simple example is, you have to go to the swimming pool in a bikini, but you
cannot go to the interview or for a presentation in a bikini. So, you, obviously, you were
distracting their attention towards non-academic things which is unwarranted, body
perfume again you can use it

But if you use it and then it creates a very stronch smell and then people like it, some
people get allergic to it. So, people don’t like you at all. When you enter, they want just
psychologically thinking that oh! I don’t like this perfume and they want to through you
out. The other think and happening terms of gender in appropriateness of using a body
perfume. So, there was an interview scenario, where they before the person could enter,
rose perfume came inside and then everybody like they were busy looking at the papers
and then the perfume attracted and then they thought a very beautiful girl is going to
come and she is wearing this perfume and then came this boy, not that good looking, but

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then he has put this rose perfume for what reason only, he might be knowing, but
psychologically the people prepared for something, they were disappointed when they
saw this guy and then the expectation and disappointment caused in their mind acted as a
barrier.

So, from the beginning, they try to look at him with some prejudice and obviously, they
didn’t select him although he was a very good candidate. So, perfume can go against
you, if you don’t know how to use it appropriately. Same thing can go with watch, watch
should be functional, but if you wear a diamond studded one, and then everybody’s eyes
are rewarded to the watch. So, again you lose your chance of communicating to them
effectively, persuading them to do something in your favor, so you are diverting their
attention and causing a barrier. Same thing with the rings that you will put in your ear, in
your finger, bracelet’s and even necklace, okay, it should be simple. The best thing is to
minimize the ornamentation as much as possible in formal occasions and use the
appropriate ones and never to use that as a kind of distracter and cause that as a barrier
basically, as well as psychologically.

(Refer Slide Time: 23:21)

Look at some more interesting examples in terms of makeup, okay or dying of hair. Look
at the one that I have put in the middle. So, one can dye the hair in such a manner that
even it looks like a chameleon or some animal with different colors and then moustache
type. So, if you are found of growing it so big, but you should also know the

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appropriateness like in formal occasion when you are being assessed for something as
again in a interview situation would they like you to go with this and same thing with
hair style. You can say that it looks punchy, it looks cool, it looks stylish for you and
your pear group of people, not the formal people who are sitting in the interview and
assessing you and they are willing to give you a job. Now this will act as a deterrent. So,
keep this in mind. So, I just wanted you to give you a concluding thought that, use
accessories appropriately, inappropriate use can lead you into trouble and will act as a
barrier and it is not worth doing it.

But having said this, accessories today have become part and parcel of us, just like your
mobile, all other accessories also tried to tell something about you, they add to your
personality, sometimes it looks like, it is accessory that gives your personality also. Look
at two quotes from the same.

(Refer Slide Time: 24:50)

Author, one Christian Louboutin, he talks about particularly shoes and with this two
thoughts, I am going to conclude this lecture. A shoe is not only a design, A shoe is not
only a design, but It’s a part of your body language, the way you walk, but it is a part of
your body language the way you walk. The way you’re going to move is quite dictated
by your shoes. So, the way of going to move is quite dictated by your shoes, it is the
shoes often makes you walk erect, make you not walk in an erect manner. It gives

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personality, it reduces your personality. So, you have to be careful in the ones that you
choose.

And look at how it’s appropriate for a women using heel, if she is using it properly, when
a women puts on a heel that is slightly high heel to raise her height she has a different
posture. So, the look itself is enhanced by the posture, a different attitude. She really
stands up and has a consciousness of her body. She really stands up and has a
consciousness of her body. Now the conclusions is that, having a consciousness of her
body in a favorable manner, not having a consciousness that kills our actual spontaneous
movement will help us to promote our own personality and develop soft skills to
influence people and enjoy success in our personal life.

With this note, I conclude this lecture. Thank you for watching this video, have a nice
day.

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