10 suggestions for being an awesome grandparent

#1 RESPECT THE PARENTS

This is my #1 rule on how to be an awesome grandparent. If you get nothing else out of this article—
please take away this advice.

The parent-child relationship is sacred and to be a trusted person in your grandchildren’s life, you have
to honor Mom and Dad’s parenting decisions.

Everything I do as a grandparent must be in line with what my daughter and her husband want.

When the parents, know that you’ll abide by their house rules, it allows them to relax and enjoy your
relationship with their kids—your grandchildren.

This is whether you agree or not. Mom and Dad rule and what they say goes!

Sometimes they may ask for advice and then by all means give it. However, don’t offer too much of it
unsolicited.

Look, I’m human too, so I occasionally offer something. But I don’t take it personal if my daughter isn’t
into it.

Honestly, I think she is an AMAZING mother even though she does many things completely different
than I did.

And you know what? Her children are healthy and happy even though my daughter parents differently
than I did.

Along with follow their rules, be sure and hold back any criticism.

DON’T HAVE FAVORITES!

This is really important. You may have some preferences but no matter what you think or feel, to truly
be awesome, all grand children get treated the same.
You can’t be sneaky about it either. Children remember. Cousins get together and talk about it. Your
children will discuss it. If you have a favorite and set one grandchild or one family’s children apart,
everyone will know and talk about it.

You don’t want your legacy to be that you favored one child or one family’s children over the others.

I know, some things are out of your control. Focus on what you can control.

You spend the same on all grandchildren

You make the same effort for all the grandchildren

You don’t spend any time thinking about why you like some less than others

BE CONSISTENT

Being consistent helps build and maintain the relationship. Regular visits, FaceTime/Skype, and phone
calls keep you connected with your grandchildren.

I am so fortunate to live an hour away from my granddaughters and I visit once a week.

The timing and number of visits depends on your situation, the family situation, and your relationship
with the parents.

Children love routines and things they can count on. I try to keep a regular afternoon for visits. If you live
further away, you could have regular FaceTime or Skype visits.

Since the pandemic started, I only visit once a month, but I stay for a few days. While I miss visiting
weekly, these longer visits have been so much fun. I get to see the kids when they wake up and when
they go to bed.

We eat meals together and watch movies at night. While I’d love to say I help with homework, that’s
just not my thing. Unless it’s art or physical education.

CREATE “SPECIAL” ACTIVITIES

One of our favorites is “Girl’s Night.” I used to go over once a week when my son-in-law worked late and
play with the girls, visit with my daughter, and share dinner with them.

We called it “Girls’ Night” and that makes it sound fun and exciting even though we are following their
exact evening routine.

Sometimes it’s “Special Time with Grammy.” Or “Crazy Dance Party.” It doesn’t matter what you plan or
do, but giving it a special name makes it memorable to your grandchild.

The girls love to swing. We always try to get outside and swing at least once a day when I visit. We drag
a big boom box out and the girls have a list of songs on a playlist on my phone that we play.

Another fun thing we do is Movie Night. We put out a picnic blanket on the floor with plenty of pillows
for the girls. Then their dad makes us all popcorn and whatever treat we want with that. Sometimes
mom and I will have a glass of wine. It’s fun to find movies that three generations can watch together.

CREATE “YOUR THING”

Creating “your thing” with a grandchild often happens spontaneously the first time. After that, repeating
it cements it into your grandchild’s life as something only you can provide. These often change as the
child gets older.

At 2, my granddaughter loved to stand on a chair in the kitchen and “cook.” I put together safe fun
activities that allowed her to measure, stir, and pour.

She used to love to be in my arms to dance when a certain song comes on. Now she has her favorite
playlist of songs she loves to dance to.

At seven, my older granddaughter loved to play her games on my iPad (that we picked out together),
cuddle up near me to read a book, or have me go outside with her while she played.

Her “things” were often quiet and cuddly. Going to the library or bookstore and getting a couple of new
books and finding a cool place to read is one of our favorite things.
She still loves to read and play video games!

Depending on your personality you can definitely jazz it up. I have a friend that is teaching her four-year
old granddaughter to bake. Another plays in the pool with her granddaughters or does messy art with
them.

Here are some ways to make your HOME irresistible to your grandchildren!

GET SILLY WITH THEM

I don’t know about you but I don’t often get the opportunity to straight up get silly. Being with young
grandchildren is the perfect opportunity.

My girls love silly dancing and singing to music, play acting, telling jokes, using funny voices, and
anything else you can think of that makes us all laugh. At my sister’s home, they often play charades at
family get-togethers.

Kids love funny faces, voices, and exaggeration.

HELP MOM AND DAD

Again, this will be unique to your situation and relationship. I help out with the kids when my daughter
has a deadline or needs to get caught up. I like to babysit so she can have an evening out with her
husband once in a while.

I remember with profound gratitude all the times my mom and mother-in-law watched my kids. I was
only able to finish my graduate degree because of the help they provided.

Along with babysitting, my son-in-law’s mom, the other grandmother loves to keep the baby in diapers
and both of the girls in cute clothes. She combines her “thing” shopping with keeping the girls dressed.

VALUE THE OTHER GRANDPARENTS

Babies and children have enough love for everyone. It’s so tempting to want to be the “favorite” and
shower your grandchild with gifts, clothes, and attention.

As a grandparent, of course you are going to do some special things with and for your grandchild, but do
it out of a sense of purpose.
In our family the other grandmother loves to buy clothes and toys for the girls. I’m happy my
grandchildren have such a generous and loving grandma. I buy books and games from the iTunes store—
once in a while.

I’m just not good at buying things. But I love to sit and play with them and give them my time. It’s
obvious that our grandchildren love all their grandparents. The kids don’t compare!

SHARE FAMILY TRADITIONS

My older granddaughter will sometimes ask me what Mom (my daughter) did when she was little. She
loves to hear about how it was when her mom was young. We love passing on our traditions to her.

Our family is from West Virginia and even though she’s never been there, she knows how to sing
Country Roads, knows how to do some Mountaineer cheers, and looks forward to the day when she’ll
finally see West Virginia.

Here in Texas, we celebrate the holidays and make recipes that have been passed down for generations.
I love having my family over for a meal and sitting down around the table that I sat around as a child.

I love serving favorite family foods that my mom served. We talk about the family that lives in faraway
states.

SET YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES

Creating a relationship with your grandchildren may require setting your own boundaries.

How much will you help out with babysitting?

Will it be on a regular basis?

How much will you spend on your grandchildren?

How often will you travel and for what events?

Each of these questions requires thought and at times a conversation with the parents about their
expectations.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

I love being able to lift my granddaughters, go for long walks, and dance like a crazy woman on occasion.

Eat right and exercise! And for goodness sake, if you have an addiction like smoking, please do whatever
it takes to quit.

As much as your grandchildren are important to you, you are important to them! Keep yourself fit and
healthy.

How to Be an Awesome Grandparent?

I love being a grandparent and I think I’m a great one most of the time.

Remember build and maintain the relationship with your own child and their spouse first.

Second, be yourself and bring your own special sauce to the relationship. Third, take great care of
yourself!

Happy grand-parenting!