HOW TO STOP

OVERTHINKING

THE 7-STEP PLAN TO CONTROL AND ELIMINATE

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, DECLUTTER YOUR MIND, AND
START THINKING POSITIVELY IN 5 MINUTES OR LESS
CHASE HILL
SCOTT SHARP
Copyright © 2021 by Chase Hill
All rights reserved.
The content contained within this book may not be reproduced, duplicated or transmitted without
direct written permission from the author or the publisher.
Under no circumstances will any blame or legal responsibility be held against the publisher, or
author, for any damages, reparation, or monetary loss due to the information contained within this
book. Either directly or indirectly.
Legal Notice:
This book is copyright protected. This book is only for personal use. You cannot amend, distribute,
sell, use, quote or paraphrase any part, or the content within this book, without the consent of the
author or publisher.
Disclaimer Notice:
Please note the information contained within this document is for educational and entertainment
purposes only. All effort has been executed to present accurate, up to date, and reliable, complete
information. No warranties of any kind are declared or implied. Readers acknowledge that the author
is not engaging in the rendering of legal, financial, medical or professional advice. The content
within this book has been derived from various sources. Please consult a licensed professional before
attempting any techniques outlined in this book.
By reading this document, the reader agrees that under no circumstances is the author responsible for
any losses, direct or indirect, which are incurred as a result of the use of information contained within
this document, including, but not limited to, — errors, omissions, or inaccuracies.
 CONTENTS

A Free Gift to Our Readers

Introduction
Step 1: Identify Your Enemy and Reasons for Overthinking
Step 2: 10 Powerful Tactics to Stop Anxiety and Worrying Permanently
Step 3: Dealing with Negative Thoughts
Step 4: How to Control Overthinking and Eliminate Negative Thoughts in Just a Few
Minutes
Step 5: Applying Positivity
Step 6: How to Declutter Your Mind and Become What You Want in Life
Step 7: Simple Daily Practices to Overcome Procrastination
Troubleshooting Guide (if Nothing Helps)
Conclusion
References
Notes
 A FREE GIFT TO OUR READERS

I’d like to give you a gift as a way of saying thanks for your purchase!

There is one magic word that is indispensable for your life: "No".
This simple word can help you connect with yourself, find time for your
beloved ones, relieve stress, and reduce overthinking.
Remember, you deserve to make the choices that YOU want to make,
and speak your mind without fear or anxiety.
This checklist will help you say no without feeling guilty.
What you’ll discover:

8 steps to start saying no.

12 must-dos to stop feeling guilty.
9 healthy ways to say no.

To receive your Say No Checklist, visit the link:

www.chasehillbooks.com
If you have any difficulty downloading the checklist, contact me at
chase@chasehillbooks.com, and I’ll send you a copy as soon as possible.
 INTRODUCTION

This book introduces and discusses ways to overcome your overactive

mind. That mental chatter or noise your brain produces at night, in the
morning, and throughout your day can make it quite difficult to live your
life peacefully. Negative thinking, overthinking, and excessive worrying is
what makes most people depressed and even anxious. This book touches
upon the reasons why you find yourself diagnosed with a “disorder” that
you never asked for, as well as how to cope and live with it. There are many
techniques that speak about the individual aspects of mental chatter and
how to overcome them little by little.
Do you find yourself lying awake at night because you can’t stop worrying
about what happened earlier that day? Do you find yourself second-
guessing almost every decision you face in life? Does your job or
friendships seem to be overwhelming? By reading this book, you will be
emboldened to deal with your fears, handle your perfectionism, and
overcome your diagnosed disorders. One thing you can take away from
reading this book is that your thoughts do not define your actions. What you
should expect throughout the journey of practicing the techniques and
strategies in this book is to be aware of where your mental chatter comes
from, and how to address it.
Stop worrying about what you did today and start living in the moment.
Stop living for tomorrow and start breathing in the positivity of today. Stop
overthinking your future and make big changes to live your future now. We
are only ever promised today, so instead of obsessing over what you could
have done at that social event or trying to control what you will do in your
next appointment, learn to breathe in this moment you have now.
Perhaps the greatest lesson you can learn from reading this book is the
simple fact that your thoughts determine the outcome of your life. Even
though this may be a difficult statement to swallow (especially for those of
you who are now more in your head than you were before), all you need to
do in this moment is learn positivity. This book will go through the reasons
why the way you think now is not beneficial to your being, as well as how
positivity can greatly improve and produce where you want your life to go.
So, quit being stuck, stop letting your mind trap you, and take control of
what you want. There are finally lessons and a structure to get you to where
you want to be rather than where you are now. And, it’s all in this book.
 STEP 1: IDENTIFY YOUR ENEMY AND REASONS FOR
OVERTHINKING

Overthinking is when you cannot seem to get something off your mind, and
you have uncontrollable or intrusive thoughts that don’t seem to go away. It
is when you catastrophize everything around you or you are unable to think
clearly due to the obsessive amount of thoughts overloading your mind. To
overthink means you are focusing on what could be, what should have
happened, or the “what ifs” in almost every situation.
Your mind has you trapped in vicious thought-cycles or thought-patterns
when you overthink. It’s as if you feel mentally exhausted 24/7 due to your
brain not being able to unwind or shut down. It is easy to be trapped inside
your mind as the world and universe we live in requires us to think about
everything we do, everything we want, and everything we believe.
Overthinking leads to stress, anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders.
Over-thinkers constantly stress about their responsibilities, if they are good
people, if they are making the right choices, and whether or not they are
productive or unproductive. Thoughts make up who we are or who we want
to be as individuals because thoughts lead to actions, and actions lead to
character. Since there is so much to think about daily, it is no wonder our
brain is on overdrive.
Do you know whether or not you overthink? Maybe you think you do, but
then second-guess and convince yourself that you don’t which then leads
you to ask your original question again later. “Do I overthink everything?”
For some people, overthinking is just the way life is for them, and they
cannot help but stress about everything. Once you start overthinking, it is
challenging to control or even stop it. Here are some signs your mind has
you trapped and is stuck on overdrive:
1. Insomnia
Insomnia develops when people are unable to turn their thoughts off. You
may be tired all day, but then when you lay down to sleep or rest, you are
instantly awake. Your thoughts flood your mind with everything you
haven’t done yet, what you want to do, or maybe you didn’t perfect
something you already did. Your mind obsesses about things you cannot
control or things you could have controlled but didn’t. This is when you
find yourself trapped inside a mental prison. This is also called
overthinking, which results in the development of insomnia.
2. Living anxiously
If you cannot relax until you have thought about and planned every scenario
for what’s to come or what hasn’t happened yet, then this is a sign that you
are trapped inside your own head. Most people who cannot stop
overthinking turn to drugs, alcohol, or prescribed medication to drown out
their thoughts just to get some peace. If your thoughts are causing you to be
anxious and you fear the unknown and seem to need control, then this is a
sign you are living in fear and have fallen into a trapped mind.
3. Overanalyzing everything around you
Much like what was said for the previous symptom, the need to control is
overwhelming and is one of the main problems consisting of overthinking
habits. The need to control everything means that you try to plan the future,
which is unknown, so you fear failure and obsess over what you are doing
now to stop bad things from happening. You are not living in the moment,
which gives you a significant amount of anxiety because your mind is busy
with everything else. Someone who over-analyzes things has a hard time
accepting change because change is rarely planned, which sends them in a
downward spiral as now they are facing something they do not have power
over. Due to this habit, overthinking leads to poor decision-making skills
because of the indecisiveness of what to do next.
4. Fear of failure (aka Perfectionism)
Perfectionists also like to control things; however, they control projects and
their surroundings, making sure they get everything right in fear of making
a mistake. Perfectionists cannot accept failure and go to great lengths to
avoid it. As a result of this type of behavior, perfectionists will stray away
from making big decisions or accepting big opportunities because they
would rather not do anything over taking the risk that they could fail.
5. Second-guessing yourself
Stemming from the overwhelming fear of failure and perfectionism, the
mind of a “control freak” will often analyze, reanalyze, second-guess, then
come up with another analyzation, to the point where nothing seems good
enough, so this loop repeats itself. Someone who cannot accept change or
does not believe in themselves fully will second-guess out of the fear of
making the wrong move or decision. Also, they take twice as long to
process information because they second-guess other people and question if
they interpreted the conversation right or not. If this happens to you, then
consider yourself an over-thinker.
6. Headaches
In the result of second-guessing and thinking about things over and over
again, headaches start happening because the mind cannot seem to get any
peace for even a minute. Headaches are a sign we need to take a break and
unwind or settle down. It is a sign that we need to cope or find strategies to
relax our minds and our bodies. Headaches also stem from body tension,
which is a sign of stress.
7. Sore muscles and stiff joints
Overthinking is one of the number one causes of stress. When you continue
to overthink, your brain connects this to the way things should be and, as a
result, traps you. This leads to overwhelming and negative thought-patterns,
obsessive worrying, anxiety, OCD, and other mood or stress-related
disorders. When someone is overly stressed or thinks way too much, it
affects their entire body. Only when you find and solve the root of your
stressors or problems will the pain and aches disappear. Once your brain
attacks your body and muscles, your emotions and mood become affected
as well, which can leave you feeling exhausted and mentally drained or
fatigued.
8. Fatigue
As explained in the last symptom, we will feel fatigued if we take on too
much for our body and minds to handle. Fatigue is your body’s way of
telling you that you are about to burn out. If you are on the go all the time,
not just physically but mentally as well, then burnouts are bound to happen.
It’s like an electronic device that needs batteries, if it is left on 24/7 or
continues to play without being charged, then it will die or need its batteries
replaced. Fatigue is the brain’s way of letting you know that it requires a
reboot or that you need to rest or else you will run out of energy.
9. Cannot be present
Do you find yourself trying to listen to others talk, but your mind distracts
you with your own thoughts? Or, do you find yourself trying to be in the
moment with your kids or spouse, yet are too busy obsessing over what you
need, what needs to be done, or what has been forgotten (because there has
to be something)? This means that your mind has you trapped in the
wonderful world of overthinking. Isn’t it great? Not… Thinking too much
can cause you to lose focus or sight of the most important things in life.
Remember to slow down, as not everything needs to be rushed. After all,
you still have more life to live and lead.
As you can see, these symptoms or signs that you are an over-thinker relate
to one another. For example, you start by overanalyzing and second-
guessing things, which stems from the fear of failing, which gives you
anxiety because of the lack of control for the unknown future. When this
happens, headaches and stiff muscles develop which then leads to a lack of
sleep, resulting in insomnia and fatigue, which then complicates things to
let you be able to stay in the present moment. Overthinking and obsessive
worrying is hard to control, but there is some light. By the end of this book,
you will develop and know exactly what to change and how to change it
without being fearful of the consequences. Think of this book, as you read
on, as your comprehensive guide to getting better and leaving those pesky
thoughts in the dust.
Stop Overthinking
If there were such a thing or ability to stop your thoughts, then wouldn’t
you jump on the opportunity? Imagine you being able to get more rest and
quiet your mind to find peace. This is possible; however, you must develop
patience, drive, motivation, and resilience. I will discuss more on the
techniques of how to stop overthinking and worrying for good in the
coming chapters, but for now, let’s briefly focus on how to stop
overthinking.
The reason you need to be patient is that not everyone becomes a master at
calming their thoughts overnight, so resilience is needed because you need
to be aware that you could possibly fail, but practice makes things easier.
Every day that you practice quieting the mind is one step closer to the
advantages of having inner peace and living mindfully. Also, later we will
discuss why it is so important to be motivated and to address your
overthinking patterns.
It is completely normal to overthink once in a while, but when it becomes a
pattern that eventually unfolds and continues to disrupt your everyday life,
then that is when it has become a problem. Two thought patterns involve
destructive overthinking:
• Ruminating - Rehashing the past
Ruminating thoughts consists of overthinking things that you cannot control
or things that have happened that you obsess over. For example, say you
went to a meeting and stated your opinion on a certain topic, later you tell
yourself you shouldn’t have done that, then you obsess over what you could
have said differently. Also, negative thinking stems from ruminating
thoughts, such as thinking about what someone said that was negative about
you, and then you believe it because of something that you did prior to this
thought. For example, you remember your friends or peers telling you that
you wouldn’t go far, and now you are starting to believe it.
• Excessive worrying - Predicting the future negatively
You may sit there and tell yourself that you aren’t going to do a good job in
your presentation tomorrow. Or, you may sit there and think that you aren’t
good enough, so your spouse or partner may find someone else. You don’t
believe in yourself, so you aren’t confident in how things will turn out
because you are fearful of your future, which is unknown.
Over-thinkers imagine the worst-case scenarios and get anxious based on
these “visions.” It is one thing to think negatively and worry or ruminate
about negative outcomes or experiences, and it is another problem when
images or photographic images play in your mind. For example, imagine
you are going to grab your kids from school; you have five minutes to spare
before they are outside waiting for you. On the way to their school, your car
breaks down, and now you have to call for help. Your mind shows you an
image or “vision” that your kids are waiting, no one is there to grab them,
and then some stranger comes to pick them up, and now your kids are gone.
You then start feeling anxious, and your mind plays tricks on you to make
you believe you are a bad parent or caregiver. This is the mind trap of what
overthinking does. When this happens, stop and take a moment to reflect
and not only call for help, but also call the school and let the principal know
what has happened, then make another call for someone else to grab your
children. When you take a moment to reflect and think about the best-case
scenario, your mind doesn’t have time to stress over what is irrational and is
most likely not going to happen.
Studies 1 suggest that overthinking leads to mental health issues and less
sleep, which then leads to alcohol or drug use as a way to cope. So, let’s
dive in to figure out how to put an end to this ruminating, over-worrying
nightmare. Practice these strategies for some peace and quiet up there, and
more restful nights:
1. Notice when you are overthinking.
Practice self-awareness. When you do this, you can be aware of when those
pesky thoughts creep in. Being aware of your triggers and what the first
sign of being trapped in the overthinking habit is are the first steps to
escaping the cycle. When you notice yourself obsessing over things you
cannot control or stressing about the past, acknowledge them and notice
that they are there without getting anxious or being judgmental. Tell
yourself that you are going to allow ten minutes to think about whatever is
worrying you. Set a timer. Realize that thinking this way isn’t productive as
it isn’t going to change anything, and then move on to what else is worrying
you. Once you've completed this process, do some deep breathing and
distract yourself with something else.
2. Challenge your thoughts.
Challenging your thoughts is a productive way to get out of the negative,
overthinking pattern that your mind wants you to stay in. If you find
yourself thinking that, because you are late, you are going to get fired, or
you will be late on rent so you will be homeless, then take a step back.
Notice that you are worrying about things that haven’t happened yet and
think about the best-case scenario. If you can’t help but think about the
worst-case scenario, then first think about how not to let the worst case
happen. For example, if your alarm didn’t go off and you are going to be
late for work, then instead of listening to your thoughts and running around
in a frenzy, challenge your thoughts. Ask yourself what you can do. Can
you call into work and let them know you’re running late? Can you make it
on time? What can you do to avoid this from happening again? Is it worth
stressing over this to be perfect? Realize and understand that no one is
perfect. When you take a step back to think about things logically, you will
see that things get done faster and easier.
3. Focus on problem-solving.
Much like challenging your thoughts, work on ways you can solve
problems. Why dwell on problems when you can solve them? Don’t ask
yourself why something happened; rather, ask yourself what you can do
about it. When you make steps and think of solutions to your problems and
stressors, you teach your brain that you are in control and it rewires itself to
automatically solve problems effectively the more you practice. So take
more moments to slow down and acknowledge the problem, instead of
breaking it and yourself apart. Look for solutions and ask yourself how you
can change it. If it cannot be changed, then let it go and focus on something
else.
4. Practice and research mindfulness.
Mindfulness is an excellent technique that can help anyone in the moment.
Being mindful is to stay present in the moment you are in. It suggests that
nothing else matters except for this time, this place, and this being. It is to
be one with yourself and your thoughts. Think about it: How can you focus
on the past or the future if you are intentionally paying your full attention to
the here and now? With practice, mindfulness is a great technique for
reducing overthinking and negative thoughts.
5. Change the channel.
If I told you to not think about a purple elephant jumping on pink clouds,
then what are you going to do? No matter how hard you try, you are going
to think about the color of the elephant and what it is doing. The same goes
for when you try to stop doing something. So when you tell yourself not to
think about something, it is bound to backfire. Instead, acknowledge your
thoughts and distract yourself with something else, like exercise or call a
friend to vent and listen to them vent. When you focus on other people or
other things, you are more likely to spend your time doing something
different than overthinking and worrying. Another productive idea is to get
creative. Draw a picture that symbolizes your thoughts, write a journal
entry, or rhyme your current mood with other words. Play a scrabble game
or interact with things around the house. Sometimes all it takes is just to get
out of the house, go outside, or remove yourself from where you are
currently. This is also a strategy to “reboot” your overactive mind. We will
talk more about this later.
In conclusion, the more you practice these techniques, the better you will
get at quieting your mind. When your mind is quiet, you will be able to
think things through better. When you can think things through, you can
make effective decisions without having negative thoughts interrupt your
efforts. Eventually, over time, your mind will learn how to tune out the
unnecessary worries on its own, and you will feel less stressed and be able
to handle problems better.
How Deep of an Over-thinker Are You?
Now that we have gone over the signs of overthinking and what you can do
to avoid or diminish it, we can focus on how much of an over-thinker you
are. Sometimes overthinking is due to an underlying problem, like
generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). GAD involves constant uncontrollable
worrying, nervousness, and tension build-up. The reason it is called
“generalized” is because you don’t fear just a specific thing, but you fear
almost everything, as everything makes you anxious due to your excessive
thought-patterns. It only becomes a disorder when you can’t control it and
when it starts to take over your life by giving you situational symptoms or
when you have “panic attacks” over your thoughts. The goal of this section
is to figure out how much of an over-thinker you are or if it ties into anxiety
or another mood disorder.
This is a test you can take online to figure out if you have anxiety and what
kind:
http://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/screening/online/?screen=anxiety
This is a test to figure out if you are an over-thinker, and if you are, then
how deep. It also has tips and tricks and information that is crucial to
understanding what it means to be an over-thinker:
https://www.happierhuman.com/overthinking/
This is an online test where you can see if depression is the root of your
overthinking patterns:
https://www.psycom.net/depression-test/
These tests are not to diagnose yourself, but to gain insight on if you need
to speak with a doctor.
Is Overthinking a Disorder?
By now you should already know if you are an over-thinker based on your
routines and your life choices. So, the next question is to ask yourself if
there is a deeper problem behind it. Overthinking can be the primary cause
of an anxiety disorder or depression. This is because when we are stuck in
our minds, we continuously worry about things we think we can control but
actually cannot. We get depressed when we continue to think negatively and
cannot seem to control our thought-patterns revolving around these negative
thoughts. Many people ask if overthinking is a disorder, and the answer is
yes. Many people also suffer from thinking too much about things, such as
if they made the right choice or if they are going down the “right” path. The
fact of the matter is that nothing is ever “right” or “wrong,” but it’s if we set
these beliefs inside our own minds and then strive to complete the goals of
what is right or wrong. For example, when we meet someone’s family for
the first time, we may think, “Did I say the right thing?” or, “Did I make
the ‘right’ impression?” In reality, this person’s family isn’t even thinking
or judging you based on your own judgments. So, in this sense, nothing is
“right” or “wrong.” When faced with this “right or wrong” attitude or
belief, try to focus on the moment and practice mindfulness intentionally.
Overthinking only becomes a disorder when it becomes the only thing you
do, and it interrupts your daily needs. When you cannot get things done or
are fearful of making mistakes, overthinking becomes a disorder, which
then brings on anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders. However, if
you are just worried about the same things every day but don’t let it affect
your decisions, then you don’t necessarily have an overthinking disorder. If
you always worry about yourself, your life, your health, your family, your
friends, and so on, then it also may not be a sign of having an overthinking
disorder. If you find yourself worrying about or being too concerned about
other’s lives and their worries or fears, then it may just suggest you have an
empathetic personality. So, how do you know if you have an overthinking
disorder? One or more of these symptoms are signs of that you may be a
sufferer:
• You compare yourself to others and question their judgments by setting
too high expectations for yourself. You are constantly worrying about what
others think rather than just being confident in your own skin.
• Catastrophizing every scenario or situation in your life. Thinking or
imagining the worst will happen, which results in thinking that everything
and everyone is “out to get you.”
• Unable to move past your failures or mistakes. Continuously thinking
about how you could have done something different or how you should or
shouldn’t have said or done something, then feeling overwhelming anxiety
and nervousness about it.
• Setting “farfetched” goals and thinking that you will never be able to
accomplish them. Never setting goals you can actually do, so you feel
overwhelmed and don’t do anything to work towards them as a result.
• The inability to shut off your overactive mind, leaving you fatigued and
constantly stressed.
If these symptoms seem or feel familiar, then it may be best to see a
professional for your mental health and to address your concerns. A
professional, like a doctor or therapist, can give you coping methods and
other tools to help you with overthinking. If you have these symptoms, then
you may also find that you have communication problems due to the
inability to listen fully, you may find it difficult to enjoy hobbies or
interests, or you may be unproductive at work because of your obsessive,
perfectionist traits.
By thinking too much or if you are unable to “unwind,” other mood
disorders, such as anxiety, GAD, depression, insomnia, and obsessive-
compulsive disorder (OCD) can become prominent in your everyday life.
We have now learned what overthinking is about and what it can cause;
however, there are other symptoms and causes stemmed from overthinking
which we will talk more about as you read through this book. We will
discuss in more detail the symptoms of GAD, depression, and OCD in the
next chapter because these mood disorders mainly revolve around worrying
too much. We will also discuss the things you can do to seek help if you are
diagnosed already or have a feeling you may be getting to this point. In the
next chapter, I talk about worrying, facing your fears, and will explain in
detail what the brain does when you overthink or worry too much.
 STEP 2: 10 POWERFUL TACTICS TO STOP ANXIETY
AND WORRYING PERMANENTLY

There is worrying, and then there is over-worrying. Much like overthinking,

over-worrying is when you torment yourself with thoughts of the past,
present, and future and try to control what cannot be controlled. It is a
condition where you can feel an overload of stress and anxiety, constantly
feeling uneasy, even over small things. Disorders like anxiety, OCD, and
depression can be a result when someone develops excessive worrying. We
suffer by making it difficult to overcome our fears because we are too
scared of the fear itself to problem-solve and come up with a solution.
There are differences between over-thinkers and excessive worriers. Worry
stems from fear, whereas overthinking stems from denial.
Fear:
Worry brings us self-doubt and constant fear of the unknown, making it
difficult to accept and encounter changes in our lives. Fear makes us avoid
things we want to do because it traps us in our minds as a way to keep us
safe. However, fear is an illusion. When we are fearful of change or the
unknown, we miss opportunities that are right in front of us, like a
promotion, meeting new people, and potential knowledge to make ourselves
better. We will talk more about fear and how to control it later.
Denial:
Most times, we deny what we want, so instead we cling to denial to prevent
ourselves from enduring discomfort or painful emotions. To cope with
denial or endure more denial from other people, we may use distractions
like drugs, alcohol, prescription medication, exercise, or work so that we
don’t have to face our truth. On the other hand, some people use thoughts,
which then leads to overthinking because they cannot or do not want to
accept what is or what was.
If you do not get a grasp on your thoughts, causing you to worry
excessively, then you will end up with more stress, which is also the leading
cause to mental health problems. Luckily, this book will give you insight on
how to stop worrying to decrease the chance of disorders forming so that
you can live a healthier life.
Mental Health Issues
In the last chapter, we briefly explained what GAD is, so let’s talk in more
detail about it now. Generalized anxiety disorder, in short, is a disorder
where worries and fears take over your life and interrupt healthy habits,
making it difficult to develop healthy and effective behaviors. There are
people who worry about things in a productive way, such as having a
thought, noticing it, thinking about it, and letting it go. The reason why this
effect is healthier is because worrying doesn’t take over your mind and you
are still able to do things you like to do, as you don’t have an overwhelming
fear of what you can’t control. You understand that worrying isn’t going to
change anything, and it is easy to distract yourself or think of other things,
whereas GAD takes on a totally different effect. People with GAD find it
very difficult to distract themselves from their worries and intrusive
thoughts. They expect the worst in every situation and develop symptoms
of an “anxiety attack” as a result of their brain and body being too stressed.
GAD sufferers find it extremely difficult to slow down and be in the present
moment.
Here are some signs that someone may be suffering from GAD:
Emotional
• Excessive worrying and intrusive thoughts that cannot be slowed down or
controlled;
• No matter what someone does, they cannot seem to avoid intrusive or
negative thoughts daily;
• Cannot handle uncertainty or change. They need to know, plan, or control
what their future holds;
• A sudden feeling of dread or fear when worries take over.
Behavioral
• They are unable to relax, always tense, and cannot enjoy alone time or
seem to unwind;
• They have an inability to focus or concentrate on tasks, work, or school;
• Due to feeling overwhelmed by their worries, they procrastinate or cancel
events or “to-dos” often;
• Due to anxiety attacks in certain situations, they will avoid going out or
entering situations in fear of that they will become overloaded by their
thoughts. They may also think too much before the event, so they avoid
going or doing anything that triggers their anxiety.
Physical
• Constant muscle pressure or joint stiffness. Body feels tense on a daily
basis;
• Due to having an overactive mind, sleepless nights become more
dominant and may develop insomnia;
• Feeling constantly on edge or restless, and may scare easily;
• Gut problems such as stomach cramps, nausea, and diarrhea or
constipation.
This list of symptoms may seem like a lot, but the plus side is that with the
right guidance and help, you can and will find ways to cope. Another
disorder that can form due to over-worrying is OCD.
OCD stems from anxiety disorders, but instead of being afraid of your
thoughts and worries, it is characterized by having to do things based on
what you are thinking. For example, someone who suffers from OCD may
wash their hands twenty times a day or count all the red things in a room
before they can do anything else. It does not bring any pleasure to the
individual, but it is a way for them to handle their own anxieties. OCD is
characterized by unwanted intrusive thoughts that make you feel as though
you must act repetitively or have ritualized behaviors, such as counting,
singing, washing, tapping, moving, or having things arranged a certain way.
If these tasks or behaviors are not completed exactly when the person feels
they need to do them, then it causes large amounts of panic because they
cannot resist the urge to do that specific thing. In short, it is when the brain
gets stuck on a particular thought or urge that does not go away until
practiced or rehearsed - much like a CD or disk that skips when it is
scratched, unable to continue the song. It’s as if the person cannot continue
their day until they act on this thought or urge that they have.
Signs indicating that you may have OCD are presented below:
Thoughts
• Fear of germs, getting contaminated, or contaminating others;
• Fear of losing control of yourself or your surroundings, resulting in you
hurting yourself and/or others;
• Uncontrolled and unwanted, disturbing thoughts revolving around sexual
or violent images;
• Exaggerated focus on religious or moral concepts;
• Fear of forgetting something or leaving something behind that you may
need;
• Superstitious;
• The idea or thought that everything has its place, and everything must be a
certain or specific way.
Behaviors
• Constant rechecking of appliances, locks, clocks, and switches;
• Excessive control over loved one’s safety so you continuously check in on
them;
• Counting, tapping, repeating words or phrases, or reducing anxiety in
other irrational ways;
• Ritually cleaning yourself or your surroundings;
• Arranging things exactly as you NEED to have them in order to not
trigger fear and panic;
• Hoarding “junk,” such as newspapers, rocks, food containers, clothes, or
other things.
Although OCD can be difficult to live with or see someone else struggle
with, help can be found. Later, we will discuss ways you can stop or cope
with excessive worrying, and these strategies and tips will help with
disorders concerning anxiety, depression, and OCD. Speaking of
depression, this is another disorder that can stem from over-worrying.
There is sadness, and then there is depression. Depression is more than just
a dull or upset mood; it is when our negative thoughts become
uncontrollable and we view the world as nothing more than negativity. You
develop this way of thinking to the point where it seems impossible to get
out of, so we give up trying or caring, which leaves us depressed. It can be
difficult to get up in the mornings and you may lose interest in activities
you would normally enjoy. Depression disrupts your way of living,
attacking important habits like eating, sleeping, working, and studying.
Some people describe depression as feeling empty or hopeless, causing one
to believe that there is no point to life or that nothing can bring happiness.
The symptoms of depression are as follows:
• Feeling helpless or empty. Overwhelming, black-and-white thinking, such
as nothing will get better and there is nothing you can or will do about it;
• Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy, like sex, hobbies, and
socializing. You do not feel joy or pleasure and don’t feel the need for these
feelings;
• Eating habit changes; You may lose weight due to the lack of interest in
eating or gain weight due to “eating your feelings”;
• Sleep disturbances. Either not getting enough sleep due to insomnia, or
oversleeping due to the hopelessness your brain makes you feel about life;
• Anger and frustration. Your patience level is low, you have a quick fuse,
and everything seems to get under your skin;
• Fatigued or drained. Due to the consistent thoughts that run through your
mind daily, you feel tied down and lose energy due to your habits, like your
sleep and eating patterns;
• Low self-esteem. You are not confident, and you believe the worst in
yourself and in other situations. You are so tired of your unwelcomed
negative thoughts that you give up hope and lose motivation to get better;
• Trouble with concentration. You have a hard time focusing on tasks,
making decisions, and remembering things due to your overactive mind that
continues to weigh you down.
It is easy to confuse depression with bipolar disorder because they both
involve similar feelings and symptoms. However, bipolar disorder is when
you have high energetic moods and low depressing moods. People with this
mental health issue find it difficult to balance their emotions or keep a
steady, “neutral” mood. Bipolar disorder can also be confused with
personality or derealization disorders.
As you can see, overthinking, which converts to excessive worrying, which
then progresses into negative thought-patterns, can have a great effect on
your mental health. It is best to seek help from a doctor or psychiatrist if
you feel you have any of the symptoms from these disorders above. On the
other hand, try not to worry or think too much about whether you have
these or not. If you haven’t been diagnosed already or experienced these
symptoms prior to reading this book, then you most likely don’t need to
worry about developing these mental health issues. Continue reading to
learn more about what goes on in the brain, and then we can dive into the
healthy habits of decreasing constant stress revolving around your worried
mind.
What Happens in the Overactive/Worried Brain?
Now that we have some more information about what excessive worrying
can cause, let’s figure out how our brain works if we develop these
disorders or live life worrying on a daily basis. Did you know that your
brain actually changes and looks different as a result of the long-term
effects of stress? Researchers have examined and compared the brain of a
diagnosed depressed individual to an individual who didn’t have
depression, and the MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) scan showed that
the individual who had diagnosed depression had a slightly different brain
than the other individual. The MRI, a device used to look inside the brain,
showed that people with chronic depression had a smaller hippocampus and
a thinner right cortex. The hippocampus part of the brain is responsible for
memory, and the right cortex is responsible for our mood.
Because depression primarily revolves around the way we self-talk and
view the world based on negativity or positivity, it is fair to say that
excessive worrying could be the cause as to why regions in the mind that
focus on reward-processing become less active. The reward processors in
the brain are responsible for the “feel good” receptors, such as serotonin
and dopamine. The “feel good” chemicals excite us about things like
hobbies, socialization, and new events. When this part is less active, it can
be hard to be excited about these things.
When people are worried for a considerable length of time, their serotonin
and dopamine levels decrease, resulting in higher levels of depression and
anxiety. If not treated or noticed, it can increase and cause more problems.
Let’s take a look at what these chemicals do:
Serotonin:
Serotonin regulates mood, emotions, and sleep. This chemical is
responsible for making you excited, keeping a positive attitude, and feeling
less stressed or worried. If you constantly worry, then your serotonin levels
may be lower than normal.
Dopamine:
Dopamine affects subconscious movement, conscious awareness and
attention, and pleasurable feelings. When you have sexual intercourse or
exercise, high levels of dopamine increase in your brain, which is why you
experience a euphoric feeling when you engage in these activities. If your
dopamine levels are low, you may find it hard to concentrate or feel the
need to participate in “feel good” activities.
Norepinephrine:
This chemical is responsible for feelings of arousal, sleep, attention, and
mood. Basically, it combines the two other chemicals and produces more of
the “feel good” receptors when we choose to make healthy habits or control
our anxious thoughts.
The thing about anxiety that most people don’t realize is that our body and
soul need anxiety to get us out of dangerous situations, such as if we get
involved in a car accident or are running from something. Anxiety brings on
the “fight, flight, freeze” response, which is useful for when we are in real
danger. These responses activate in our body, giving us the adrenaline we
need to do whatever action necessary. When we are in an unsafe
environment, chemicals and hormones in our body get triggered which
heightens our senses and allows us to fight better, run faster, or stay still and
silent longer. The problem with this, though, is that if we develop an
anxiety “disorder,” our “fight, flight, freeze” response activates with false
fears and can come on suddenly or gradually.
So, what happens in the brain that causes these “false alarm” triggers? Did
you know that before your body starts feeling symptoms of an anxiety or
panic attack, the brain is already forming thoughts, behaviors, and getting
ready to provide physical symptoms, before you are even aware? This is
why most psychologists or doctors will ask you to pay attention to what you
were thinking or doing before the fear developed inside your body.
Excessive worrying can trigger an attack, which forms from thought-
patterns and daily habits. The amygdala and hippocampus play a substantial
role in most “worry warts,” resulting in chronic anxiety or continuous
stress.
Amygdala:
This part of the brain is responsible for the connection between the areas of
the brain that process incoming sensory messages and the areas that
understand these signals. It is located deep inside the brain and looks like an
almond-shaped structure. This is the part of the brain that triggers alerts or
danger. The amygdala has an emotional-memory part stored inside and may
be the reason why we are scared of certain things such as sights (dogs,
spiders, flying), smells (childhood smells or familiar smells that trigger
danger), tastes (food or other tastes that make up paranoia or hypochondria
- like if someone was ever poisoned), and sounds (noises, such as storms,
banging cupboards, or yelling). With that being said, it is fair to believe
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a result of an overactive amygdala.
Hippocampus:
Not only is the hippocampus responsible for the memory part of the brain,
but it also transmits threatening events. In people with PTSD, child abuse,
or a violent or troubled history, their hippocampus is actually smaller than
those who were not victims of their past. It is believed that people with
smaller hippocampi conjure or create unwanted flashbacks of traumatic
memories. These people struggle to put memories in chronological order
and suffer from short-term memory loss as a result of a weaker
hippocampus.
Norepinephrine and cortisol are your body’s natural chemicals that are
accountable for boosting your perception, reflexes, and speed in unsafe
situations. They also increase your heart rate, pump more blood and oxygen
into your muscles and lungs, and get you prepared to face whatever it is you
are going to suffer. However, when it is a false alarm, these spikes still take
effect, and when you are not facing real danger, these high levels of
chemicals and hormones rushing through your body have nowhere to go
because they are not being used effectively. As a result, you may instead
become paralyzed and end up shaking, sweating, and unable to breathe,
among many other physical symptoms. Can you imagine all this just
because you overthink or worry excessively over everything? Your body is
going through a lot more than you would think when it's just one thought
that could trigger an overload of stress-related symptoms. Luckily, there are
ways to reduce excessive worrying and create habits that can increase
productivity in your life, so you don’t fall into this vicious trap.
Effective Skills to Stop Worrying
Let’s focus solely on how to get you to stop worrying. Keep in mind
though, that in order to cope with or stop worrying entirely, it will take
motivation, time, patience, and lots of practice. It will not happen overnight,
but there is light at the end of this nightmare IF you stay consistent and
dedicated to training your worried and troubled mind.
Regardless of the “scientific” studies or research that consists of what
happens in the brain, the more you practice healthy habits to stay away
from the negative patterns, the more developed your brain will become, and
eventually your mind will make new connections and instinctively handle
worry-related situations productively. First, let’s discuss cognitive
distortions and why they can be hard to get out of your head. Once we
understand why we seem to be unable to get out of our worried state, then
we can start practicing the techniques with these distortions in mind.
Cognitive distortions 1 are irrational thought-patterns brought on by long-
term habits and false beliefs we tell ourselves in order to manage fears or
anxieties. However, we need to realize that these beliefs - you may think
you are unable to handle something when you really can - are just irrational
and unnecessary “security blankets” or “safety nets” we create in our minds
to make us feel better. This results in the mental trap of excessive worrying.
Here are examples of cognitive distortions:
• All-or-nothing thinking:
This is black-and-white thinking. There is no middle ground or
compromise. Someone said I am a failure, so it must be true.
• Overgeneralization:
Thinking that one outcome rules every outcome. I didn’t get the job, so I am
not good enough and will never get a job.
• Only thinking negatively, avoiding the positive:
This is when you do not allow yourself to see the positive in a situation and
you only focus on the negative aspects. I must be really dumb because the
only question I got wrong was the last one.
• Making excuses as to why positive circumstances in an event don’t
matter:
Even though there were positive things that happened, you see them, and
you still make excuses for them. I did really well presenting myself in front
of the employer, but they probably just had a good day, so I won’t get the
job.
• Making false, negative predictions:
You predict that something in the future, without evidence, will actually
happen. I know for sure something bad is going to happen.
• Expecting the worst:
You over-exaggerate outcomes or tell yourself something horrible is going
to happen. The train was late. That must mean it broke down and now
everything is delayed. I won’t be able to make my appointment on time,
which means I will get fired.
• Having beliefs of what “should” and “shouldn’t” be:
When you don’t follow your own beliefs of what should and shouldn’t
happen, you beat yourself down. I should have known that was going to
happen. I can’t do anything right.
• Labeling yourself based on your failures:
Because of something you did wrong or you may have disappointed
yourself or someone else, you may think: I don’t deserve a second chance
because I always do this. I am a disgrace.
• Assuming you are responsible for things you cannot control:
It’s my fault that my grandma’s vase broke; I should have been watching my
son and been more careful.
So, why is it so hard to quit obsessing over your worries? You may not be
completely aware that you are thinking through these cognitive distortions.
Many people start thinking this way long before results of excessive
worrying or “disorders” arise. You believe that worrying will help you solve
a problem or prevent you from future events that you were unaware of.
However, worrying does not get you anywhere, and the only thing you can
do is practice effective skills to stray away from this uncontrollable,
negative thinking. To give up worrying is essential because it means you
can give up the thought that worrying serves a positive purpose.
How to Stop Worrying for Good
Worrying has been proven to create more restless or sleepless nights, attack
your immune system, raise the chances of developing PTSD, and increase
the risk of dying at a younger age. The thought behind worrying that causes
so much anxiety is that people cannot accept one simple truth: We do not
have control over certain things that happen in our lives. The primary
reason most people worry is because they either second-guess every choice
or decision they make, or they cannot accept that they don’t have control,
and so they become perfectionists or “control freaks” to make themselves
feel better. However, is the need to control or perfect everything really
making you feel better? If your answer is no, then take a look at these ways
you can control your mind in a positive way:
1. Set a “worry time”
By setting a specific time for when you can worry, you practice telling your
worries that you don’t have time right now, but that you will have some
time later to address the problems. Make sure this “worry time” is not right
before bed or in the middle of a hectic time of day, like cooking dinner.
Make sure it is no longer than an hour. That way, it gives you plenty of time
to address all your worries and come up with effective solutions. Also, end
your “worry session” with meditation or calm-breathing exercises.
Acknowledge the thought or worry
When there is a worry that arises during your day that you cannot let go of,
write it down and acknowledge it. Do not try to avoid the thought or push it
away, as this will only make it worse and “louder.” Accept that the worry
may not go anywhere and move on. Don’t pay too much attention obsessing
over it; just acknowledge that it is there. When you are in your “worry
time,” look at the notes you wrote throughout the day and assess these first.
Write them down and pick them apart
Keep a journal. This is effective because when we try to think about our
worries during a busy day, we are most likely thinking illogically or
irrationally. When we write our worries in a journal, we can not only vent,
but we can also see the patterns in our thinking to pick the negative
thoughts out and replace them with positive ones. It also helps us look at
our worries as a whole, so we can gain better insight as to what to do next.
2. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is when you intentionally allow yourself to be in the present
moment. It’s to look at the red colors and count how many things in the
room are red (or any other color). If you are drinking or eating something,
then it is to be completely present with the taste, texture, smell, and sight of
the item you are consuming. So, in a deeper meaning, when a worry arises,
don’t pick it apart, don’t judge it, don’t get anxious about it – simply
understand that this worry is just a thought and that is all it is. There is no
action you need to take; there are no feelings you need to attach to it; there
is nothing you need to do with this thought except to be mindful that it is
there. If you are having trouble with this, seek professional, therapeutic help
or look up videos on the internet to walk you through this process.
3. Exercise/Get physical
Tons of studies from all over and almost everything you read says that
mental health disorders may be coming from the gut. When we eat better
and healthier things, we have more energy. When we have more energy, we
can discover productive ways to release this energy, like working out and
exercising. Go for a mindful jog, a relaxing yoga class, or do sit-ups and on-
the-spot exercises from the comfort of your own home, like running in
place, squats, and push-ups. It may be a good idea to enroll in boxing
classes or join a sport. Also, when you get your blood flowing and your
heart pumping, you have less energy mentally to focus on the many worries
that pop in your head, which also helps you sleep better at night.
4. Figure out what is out of your control
This works best when you have a therapist or guidance counselor to help
you, but in case you want to try this on your own for whatever reason, find
what you can control and let go of what you can’t. For example, you cannot
control someone else’s behavior, but you can control how you react and
what you perceive from their words or actions. Understand that, in most
cases, you can only control how you react or behave in situations or when
confronting someone else.
5. Evaluate your fears
When your worries become too much, pause and find the root of this worry.
Most of the time, it stems from a fear that something is going to happen.
Your fears are usually coming from worries that you haven’t acknowledged
yet. Ask yourself, “Am I predicting the future? Am I doubting that I will be
able to handle whatever happens next?” Most of the time, we underestimate
our abilities to gain control of ourselves and handle situations. Sometimes
you just have to face the fears, challenge your thoughts, and let whatever
happens happen. More often than not, you will see the circumstance was
not as bad as you thought.
6. Practice meditation
Meditation is one of the most effective relaxation strategies. When we are
relaxed, it is easier for our brains to unwind and shut down for a while.
Most meditation focuses on our breathing. Through meditation, you can
learn how to breathe effectively, where to breathe from, and to be more
aware of how you are breathing when out and about. Although meditation
may not do something for you right now if you are expecting immediate
relief, I can assure you that you will feel more at peace over time.
Meditation is not just a quick fix to calming you down, but a long-term,
effective solution in training your mind to handle stressful situations better.
A peaceful, calm mind is a happy, calm soul. When our souls are peaceful,
our lives are also peaceful.
7. Develop positive self-talk
When you have a nagging, worried mind, it usually means that you are not
giving yourself credit for the stressful things you have been through before.
Develop this thought when you get panicked: I have gotten through harder
and worse situations than this before, so I am fully capable of handling
what I am facing now. Try to replace your doubting thoughts with healthy
mantras for quick, in-the-moment relief. If you catch yourself saying, “I
don’t know if I can do this,” then replace it with, “I know I can.” When you
catch yourself thinking, “I hope he or she doesn’t judge me,” then replace it
with, “I am confident,” or, “I am resilient.” Even if you do not believe in the
positive things you tell yourself, the longer and more frequently you think
them, the more your mind will develop these positive ways, and the less
likely your worries will be negative.
8. Replace your worries with truths
When you worry about the past or the future, replace these worries with:
“All we have is now; I cannot control yesterday, and I cannot predict
tomorrow.” By replacing your worries or fears with the truth, you will find
yourself able to stay calm in the present moment. Most of the time, we
worry about things out of our control, attempt to predict the future, or stress
too much about what is happening right now. If you are in a meeting and
your mind begins to worry about how you are not going to be good or do
good, then say to yourself, “Look at me, I am doing fine so far. If I mess up,
I can and will be able to fix it.” By reinforcing positive thoughts and
replacing worries with truth, your worries decrease, and you will automate
this strategy over time.
9. “What if’s” don’t matter; “How can I’s” do
When you stress about, “What if the house burns down?” Or, “What if I
didn’t unplug the lava lamp?” Or, “What if I forgot something?” Instead,
think, “How possible is it that my house burns down? How can I solve the
lava lamp problem? How can I manage if I forgot something?” Do you see
the difference when you change “what if” to “how can I”? Most of the time
our “what if” worries are exaggerated, irrational, and sometimes even
illogical.
10. Accept the unknown
The unknown is a certain thing that we all face. It is sort of like thinking
and stressing over things we cannot control because we don’t know what is
going to happen. Too many people NEED to know everything and plan it all
out. Try developing the strategy to just be. Just understand that unexpected
things happen, so hope for the best and don’t expect much more than that.
In conclusion, our worries stem into fears, which give us anxiety. When we
get anxious, we forget to use our logical minds, and then our worries take
over and send us into a spiral of out-of-control thinking. By developing and
improving these effective strategies to overcome over-worried minds, you
will find that you have less anxiety and are able to “control” more things
around you, including yourself.
 STEP 3: DEALING WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

Negative thoughts are similar to worrying and overthinking, except the

biggest difference is when you are just plain negative. Sure, you may worry,
but what takes up most of your mind and thoughts are the negative things
you tell yourself. The thing negative thinking and worrying have in
common is that they both need acknowledgment. As stated in the previous
chapter, you cannot just wait for them to disappear, push them away, ignore
them, or pretend they aren’t that bad. Why? Because they get worse. It’s
like an annoying sibling: They will poke you repeatedly until you snap or
deal with them.
So, how exactly do you deal with negative thoughts? You have to
acknowledge that they are there and pay attention to them. Pick them apart
and find the root of where they are coming from. The truth about avoidance
is no matter what you avoid or how much you try to prevent something, it
either goes away and comes back, or it gets more dominant and lasts longer.
For example, if you tell yourself, “I’m not going to be like ‘so and so,’” or,
“I will never be or do ‘whatever,’” and then do everything in your power to
avoid being or acting like a certain person or even doing a specific task, it
may come full circle without you even noticing. You may then end up doing
the thing you said you would never do or acting like the person you said
you would never imitate. Negative thoughts work this way, so stop avoiding
them!
A more effective way to handle negative thoughts is to become observant of
them. If your thought is, “I am not good enough, and I never will be,” then
all you have to do is notice it. Don’t judge this as negative or positive.
Don’t question it or define it. Just watch it. Once you have taken a moment
to see and feel this negative thought, explore it. So, look at what’s
happening in your life and with yourself. Maybe the feeling of not being
good enough stems from the fact that you have failed in things you were
trying to do or the job you were trying to get. Pinpoint the reason and
challenge it with, “I didn’t get the job I wanted, so it’s fair to think that I am
not good enough, but that doesn’t mean there are no other opportunities out
there in the same field. I can always explore other options if I want to.”
Once you have observed, paused for a moment, identified the thought, and
explored why you would think that, then see how you feel after you have
taken these steps. You will probably feel more productive and maybe even
feel better.
What I just explained is called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (or
ACT 1). If you noticed, the great thing about ACT is that you don’t ignore
or change your thoughts. Instead, you change how you view and react to
them.
Among ACT, there are other small things you can do to decrease negative
thinking:
Switch your focus to something positive
If you focus on funny memes, look up funny sayings, or talk to a positive
influence, then your attention won’t be so focused on your negative
thoughts. This does not mean avoiding them, but just switching your focus
until you have time to address them later. Concentrate on changing your
mind to happy memories or whatever makes you smile.
Practice self-love
Someone close to me used to say, “When you work and get your paycheck,
put 10% away or use that 10% on something for yourself.” I started doing
this, and I slowly started to feel better. We are always so worried about
taking care of our bills, rent, food, or taking care of others, that we forget
about ourselves. Self-love is about treating yourself the way you would
treat your close friends or a family member. When your negative thoughts
persist, respond to them as you would if someone close to you told you
these things.
Stop changing behaviors or habits to appease your negativity
You may have developed an avoidance behavior as a result of trying to stop
your negative thoughts from happening. When your negative thoughts come
out of nowhere or are triggered by things, they are called intrusive thoughts.
An example of behavioral change involving intrusive thoughts may look
like one of these:
If you experience violent thoughts around knives or when you are holding a
knife, then you may get rid of knives or just never touch them.
If you experience intrusive thoughts around children, then you may limit
your interaction with them, be extra careful about how you look at them,
and even avoid changing or bathing them.
If one of these sounds about right, then you need to stop. The more you feed
into the fear of something happening revolving around your intrusive
thoughts, the more they will take over and eventually get worse, potentially
to the point where you may avoid leaving your house. When you stop, you
may find that your thoughts don’t control you and they will go away on
their own, as this is your way of “proving them wrong,” in a sense. Your
thoughts are not going to force you to do anything as they are just words
and sentences mixed together to disturb your mind. Only you define what
you are going to do with your actions.
What Happens in the Mind Involving our Negative Thoughts
In the Journal of Clinical Psychology, there was a study revolving around
the effects of worrying and negative thinking surrounding a task.
Participants were asked to sort things into two categories. People who
worried 50% of the time or more showed an increased difficulty to sort the
object into the two categories. This study shows how negative thinking
weakens the ability to process information, as well as the ability to think
clearly. This means that thinking negatively about problems doesn’t solve
anything and can actually make things more difficult due to the unclear
thought-patterns surrounding negative thinking.
Amygdala
Most times, people cannot control their negative thought-patterns, and this
is because, over long periods, our brain shapes itself and changes based on
the way we think and perceive things. The amygdala, as talked about in the
previous chapter, is where the brain stores negative experiences and is
responsible for the “fight, flight, freeze” response.
Here is a good example of how the amygdala comes into play: Someone
who is stuck in traffic can be stressed due to the level of threat to their
safety, if they are going to be late for work or to pick someone up, or if
there was a car accident ahead. The “threat” doesn’t seem that threatening
to them, rather an annoyance where they can easily talk themselves out of
the fear that anything bad is going to happen.
On the other hand, for someone in this exact same situation who has been
previously exposed to stress surrounding a traffic jam, car accident, or any
negative experiences involving this circumstance, it will trigger the
amygdala to send signals to the body as if this person were in the fight-or-
flight mode. Because of negative experiences piling up in the amygdala,
this part of the brain cannot tell the difference between false-alarm threats
and real threats, so it is kicked into overdrive. This happens because of the
overuse of negative thinking over extended periods of time.
Thalamus
The thalamus is responsible for the sensory and motor signals in the brain.
It sends these signals to the rest of the body but cannot decipher the
difference between real danger and false alarms. The amygdala and the
thalamus work together to create or diminish stress responses to the rest of
the body based on the way you think or control your thinking. False alarms
are your amygdala telling your thalamus that there is danger. Your thalamus
then sends adrenaline signals to the rest of your body to get you ready to
fight or flee from the danger your brain is signaling. It can happen out of
nowhere and only happens based on the negative thought-patterns you have
accumulated over some time.
Changes in Cortisol
Cortisol is your brain’s stress component. It controls mood, motivation, and
fear. Higher increases of cortisol stem from mental disorders, such as
anxiety, depression, ADHD, PTSD, and other mood disorders. People who
have mental disorders, compared to people who do not, show higher levels
of cortisol hormones, which is why it is much more difficult for these
people to calm down. There are other abnormalities in their brains, such as
white and grey matter. Grey matter is where information is processed, and
white matter is when the neurons in your brain connect this information to
where it needs to go in the brain. Chronic stress, increased cortisol levels,
and low dopamine and serotonin levels all contribute to the production of
more white matter connections.
When white and grey matter are balanced, the parts of the brain responsible
for mood and memories, like the hippocampus, become undisturbed, which
results in less “triggers” from the thalamus sending false-alarm signals to
the body. You can balance this white and grey matter when you practice
positive thinking and change negative habits. You would train your brain in
this way by rewarding yourself for good behavior and creating self-
disciplinary techniques. For example, if you fear walking alone to the store,
then discipline yourself by walking halfway to the store alone and talking
on the phone the rest of the way, the whole time telling yourself you can do
it and it’s not scary. Reward yourself when you complete small milestones
towards your goal, eventually building up to a big reward when you finally
walk all the way to and from the store alone.
Removing Toxicity
Negative thinking mostly has to do with the way you live your life. If you
are around positive influences, then you are more likely to develop positive
thinking. However, if you surround yourself with negative environments
and toxic people, then you are more likely to develop negative thoughts and
feelings. Have you ever just sat there, and felt tense for no reason - or
seemingly no reason? Maybe you have just accepted that you are a tense
person and it’s impossible for you to relax. This is because you have gotten
used to the toxicity in your life. Toxicity comes from everywhere and
almost everything, if you are not careful. You can be in a toxic relationship,
be renting from a toxic landlord, working for a toxic employer, or be best
friends with a toxic person. Whatever it is, you must figure out if you are in
a toxic situation and start making arrangements for removing yourself from
it.
Here are seven actions you can take to remove toxicity in your life:
1. Analyze your situation
Analyze your circumstances to find the root of the toxicity. For example,
figure out when the last time you felt at peace, even if it was for a single
moment. Was it at your mom’s house? What were you thinking in this
moment? Where is your happy place? What does inner harmony feel like to
you? Next, figure out in your situation, of where you are in your life right
now, what is missing to have this inner peace? If negativity stems from the
person you are living with, then figure out what it is about this person that
is so negative and how you can break free of it. If the negativity is because
you are tense or stressed about your landlord, then find out how you can
break free of their attachment to you or your attachment to them. Whatever
the toxicity is, you must take action right away. Procrastinating is only
going to bring on more fear involving the toxicity.
2. Replace negative things with positive things
Once you have identified the toxic situations in your life, it is time to
replace these negative circumstances with positive ones. For example, if
you feel stressed at home and it is hard to feel relief, then make it a habit to
go for a run or do something rewarding for yourself every day. That may be
getting yourself your favorite coffee or going to your favorite dog park or
beach. If your social circle is bringing you toxicity, then it is time to go
online and meet more people. If meeting people is hard for you, then
remind yourself that meeting positive influences will help you find a sense
of being in finding who you are and want to be. Try to look at the glass as
half-full, rather than half-empty. Maybe it’s your workplace that you feel
most stressed. If so, start looking for a different job or do hobbies after
work that fulfill your inner desire.
3. Find your purpose or a purpose
Find positivity in your life, even if it is small. If your friends aren’t
supportive of your dreams or you seem to be surrounded by selfish people
who “suck the life” out of you, then the positive in this is that you are not
selfish. If you think you are being taken for granted, then it only means you
have more empathy than you give yourself credit for, and you can
sympathize with yourself and others to see the positive. When you wake up,
be blessed that you woke another day and you aren’t in the hospital with a
disease. When you eat a good meal, be thankful for the fact that you have
eaten something today. Many times we forget that so many other people are
suffering far more than we are. We forget the benefits we have and take
even the smallest things for granted. Be thankful that you wanted to buy
and were able to afford this book - it means you want to learn and make
great changes. Change your perspective and live a life full of gratitude, as
some people do not get this benefit.
4. Find your passion and your desire
The reason most people take on negative thinking and the excessive
worries, stemming from overthinking, is because most people aren’t
actually living a life they deserve or love. If you are working in an
environment or even a job that you hate, but the reason you do it is because
it pays the bills, then you are not living a passionate life. Think about the
things you do that other people seem to struggle with. Are you good at
writing? Are you good at communicating? Are you a natural at baking or
cooking? Whatever you’re great at and that takes no effort is the direction
you need to start. Finding your passion and striving to be better will fulfill
self-compassion and you will begin to feel happier, resulting in the removal
of toxicity. When you do what you love, nothing else will matter because it
is something you do that you will always look forward to.
5. Reward yourself often
As discussed in the previous chapter, dopamine is the brain chemical that
releases endorphins which makes you feel good. It is important to reward
yourself, even for the small things, as it releases dopamine. When you wake
up and feel grateful, acknowledge this feeling and reward yourself with a
simple, “Good job, I woke up feeling grateful for … I am going to keep
practicing this.” These self-talks can encourage higher dopamine levels
which creates a healthy habit to become more positive. Also, in rewarding
yourself, take pleasure in taking a break. When life becomes too stressful or
you feel yourself losing control, take a mindful moment to bring yourself to
a happy feeling or memory and embrace this moment as if nothing else
exists or matters. Everything else can wait because the most important thing
in this world is making yourself happy. When you are happy, the world can
smile along with you. Go on a nature walk often as this allows your brain to
take in the sights and smells of natural, healing sensations.
6. Be okay with mistakes
Remind yourself that there is not going to be an immediate change. Change
happens for many people, and the more you practice, the better you will
become. Sometimes change isn’t as noticeable as we would like. For
example, I remember being negative and I didn’t think I would get any
better. I started changing my life and my surroundings. I developed better
eating habits, started going on brisk walks every day, and tried to be aware
of my thought-patterns throughout the day. Whenever a negative thought
popped into my head, I noticed it and challenged it with truth and reflection.
The situation I was in wasn’t helping me and I didn’t feel like I was getting
any better, so I moved and redeveloped a sense of home in my own place. I
didn’t notice anything until I went back and visited the roommates I used to
live with; they were in the same pattern as always and I had realized that I
was stronger and didn’t think at all the way I used to when I lived with
them.
As you can see, change may not come easy and it may go unnoticed, but it
does happen. Everyone has bad days, so on these days, just be patient with
yourself and accept that it is okay to have one, two, or maybe even three
bad days in a row. Accept that mistakes happen, and failure is the only way
to strive forward. We don’t learn from our healthy habits, rather we learn
from making these mistakes as it teaches us something new every time and
reminds us why we should develop healthy habits.
7. Seek professional help
When nothing seems to be going right, you keep making mistakes and you
feel like you have fallen further down than when you had started,
sometimes, professional help can work best. Therapists, doctors,
naturopaths, and clinical counselors can point you in the right direction and
give you helpful coping techniques to get you started for positivity. Often,
anxiety or other mood disorders take over our minds, and it becomes more
difficult to get up and want to try every day. So maybe the root problem is
not your thoughts but something deeper. Only a professional will be able to
get you unstuck and headed towards the path you want.
Toxicity is crucial to remove from our lives because it can weigh us down
and trigger more negative thinking. When we don’t remove or make an
effort to remove toxicity, we don’t give ourselves a fair chance to succeed.
 STEP 4: HOW TO CONTROL OVERTHINKING AND
ELIMINATE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS IN JUST A FEW
MINUTES

One thing that overthinking, worrying, and negative thinking have in

common is that they are all mental chatter or mental noise. They are
thoughts that disturb our inner and outer peace. Regardless of the scientific
reasons behind them, it is mental noise that becomes embedded in your
mind over time. Most times, it is uncontrollable - or we think it is
uncontrollable - and it often comes out of nowhere when we are in a place
mentally and/or physically that we cannot seem to get out of. However,
thoughts and mental chatter can be a good thing when used for productive
things, like planning, studying, and analyzing. It’s when the thoughts don’t
have an off-switch that makes it hard to fall or stay asleep and intensifies
stress, worry, anger, or other uncomfortable feelings.
We have already discussed in the previous chapters what each of these
mental chatter noises involve, but here is a recap of what they are and how
to identify them:
• Negative thoughts or consistent worries that become repetitive;
• Reliving or repetitive images or “movies” that revolve around past
experiences or fears;
• Fretting about the past or fearing the unknown uncertainties, distracting us
from the present moment;
• Unable to focus on conversations in the present because our minds are
constantly thinking about too many things, like tasks we need to do;
• Constant worrying about what people think of us, so we strive for
perfection. Our perfections never seem good enough because our mental
chatter never allows us to achieve these goals;
• Involuntary thinking and daydreaming. We overanalyze every situation
and stress about the things we are unsure about because we fear the future
and overthink about what we can’t change.
These types of thought-patterns are unhealthy, and this is why affected
people seem tired and exhausted 90% of the time. In this chapter, I will
explain how you can discipline your mind into switching this type of mental
chatter off. I will teach you how to reboot your mind so that you can rest
easier at night and get some silence when you want to relax. One of the
main ways to shut off mental noise is to endure, learn, and practice
concentration exercises. Just like all the other techniques explained
throughout this book, it is not going to happen overnight, but the more you
practice, the quieter your mind will get. Eventually it will become second
nature to switch your thinking on and off as if it were a switch.
Calming Your Mind
Calming your mind is a special skill that takes determination, consistency,
and patience. The reason why it is beneficial to quiet your mind is because
so many advantages come from having peace within yourself. When you
find peace on the inside, it will become easier to find peace outside of you
in every situation and environment you surround yourself with. The goal
behind inner peace and a quiet mind isn’t to stop thinking, but to surpass the
barriers your mind keeps you trapped in. Here are five secrets to finding
inner peace and quieting the mind:
1. Listen to and watch the mental noise your thoughts bring you
Watch your thoughts without labeling them. If an intrusive, disturbing
thought pops up like, “I wish I were good enough,” or, “I want to hurt
myself,” then do not judge it or label it as good, bad, scary, threatening, or
anything negative. Notice it and allow it to be there. Don’t push it away or
avoid it. Don’t think about where it came from, but embrace that it is there.
When you do this, it weakens the power your thoughts have over you, and
you gain control of yourself and your worries.
2. Consciously and purposely challenge your thoughts
This technique revolves around cognitive behavioral therapy. Many
psychologists swear by this method because it means that you can control
or alter your thoughts to another direction and create new patterns or habits
of the way you interact with your thoughts. You take control back by
challenging them. Start by asking yourself about your thoughts. So, if your
thought is that you aren’t good enough, then ask yourself where this comes
from. Are you jumping to conclusions? Which one of the cognitive
distortions does this thought fall under? Next, find the positive. What has
happened in your life that makes you feel as if you are not good enough?
Finding the root of the thought of where it’s coming from can really give
you insight for taking your control back because you can then replace it
with the truth.
3. Intentionally focus on your breathing
Oftentimes, we get anxious, worried, or set off our “false alarm” triggers
because we aren’t breathing properly. Close your eyes and focus on where
your breath is coming from: your stomach, your chest, or your nose. Next,
just practice noticing your breath without changing it. Once you have
figured out where your breath is coming from and how you are breathing,
you can then focus on taking in deep, long breaths. Count your inhale to
five seconds, hold for three seconds, and exhale for five-to-seven seconds.
Repeat until you feel calmer, and then go back to normal breathing before
you open your eyes again.
4. Play calming music that relaxes and motivates you
Music is one of the best healers out there. When we can relate to the singer,
they become our favorite artist, and then we can feel more relaxed knowing
that they are singing about something that means something to you. If
instrumental is more your thing, then just pay attention to the rhythm and
the noise the instruments make. Close your eyes and try to concentrate on
any background noises you may not have noticed before. Try to name the
instruments and memorize the tune.
5. Participate in regular exercise
When we exercise on a daily basis, it releases those “feel good” chemicals
we previously talked about. When dopamine is released, it becomes easier
for our brain to produce more serotonin, allowing us to feel happy. When
we are happy, we don’t feel so stressed, and our thoughts don’t become so
overwhelming or overpowering. The idea is to work our bodies physically,
so our minds don’t have the energy to overthink or create mental chatter.
When we overthink, worry excessively, or think negatively all the time,
mental chatter becomes worse, and it can seem impossible to fix. In the next
section, I will discuss techniques on how to reboot your brain.
Brain Reboot
The best way to overcome negative thinking, worrying, and overthinking is
to reset the brain. First, you need to be able to accept change and overcome
your fears that the thoughts bring into your mind. Secondly, you need to be
willing to learn how to change your state of mind and the way you think.
The biggest question is: How do we do this? Most of the “rebooting”
process is what we have already talked about. However, the objective of the
other techniques was to stop the overthinking patterns. Now, the primary
reason most people have an overactive mind is because there is a lot more
information to process in today’s society compared to three decades ago.
Today, we have social networking, technology, and loads of new
information that we interpret and interact with daily.
When you read these next techniques on how to reboot your brain, think
about the objective, as you are discovering how you can reset the mind, not
how to stop or lessen your thoughts.
1. Stop multitasking
Although multitasking can be a good thing, this is one reason why our brain
operates on overdrive. When we try to focus, think about, or do too many
things at once, it means that our brains are switching focus from one thing
to the next, then to the next. This way of thinking actually weakens the
ability to get multiple things done at once. For example, do you find when
you clean your house that you start with the dishes, then you move on to
vacuuming before the dishes are done, then you continue to wipe the
counters and find yourself sweeping or mopping the floors twice? You may
find that after all that work, you are more exhausted. When you look
around, you still have laundry or more dishes to do, and it looks as if you
barely did anything. This is the effect of multitasking.
Multitasking creates a shorter attention span and a distracted mind, also
known as the “monkey brain” or the “squirrel effect.” To stop multitasking,
try focusing on one thing at a time and make sure you do not move on to the
next thing until that one task is completed.
2. Concentrate on a single thing at a time
The author of the book called The Organized Mind: Thinking Straight in the
Age of Information Overload, Daniel Levitin, promotes Deliberate
Immersion. Deliberate Immersion means that we split our tasks or duties
into time-slots of no more than 30-50 minutes at a time without other
distractions. Daniel Levitin says there are two modes of attention that our
brains are composed of: The task-positive and the task-negative networks.
The task-positive network is the ability to complete tasks without
distractions from the outside world or the environment around you, like
television, conversations with people you love in the home, or your phone
going off distracting you with social media and what’s going on outside the
home. The negative-task network is when your mind is actively
daydreaming or wandering, not focusing on the task at hand. It means that
you are busy thinking about other things while you are trying to complete a
chore. The negative-task network is where creativity and inspiration stem
from. Then, we have an “attention filter,” which is responsible for switching
between the two modes. It helps us stay organized and lets us keep the
focus on the current mode we are in, allowing us to complete the given
chore we are doing.
3. “Attention Filter”
In short, Daniel Levitin says that if you want to be more creatively
productive, then you should set aside a time for your social tasks when you
are trying to complete a focused or attentive task. This means that there is
always a time and place for things like status updates, Twitter, text
messages, where you left your wallet, or how to reconcile an argument with
a spouse or friend. When you set aside social aspects to a designated time-
period of the day, you will be less distracted and get more things done,
which is a great way to reboot the brain when you focus on just ONE thing.
The time for task-negative networking (daydreaming, mind wandering, or
deep thinking) is when you go on nature walks, listen to music while
checking social statuses, or bathing with aromatherapy while possibly
reading a book. When we implement mind wandering with these activities,
it actually resets our brains and provides different and healthier perspectives
on what we are doing or going to do.
The Four Steps to Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a great method for resetting the brain in the moment. When
you find yourself having “squirrel” moments or have a difficult time turning
off the “monkey mind,” return to mindfulness. Mindfulness helps with
deeper relaxation techniques - much like meditation, sleep, and
concentration. Here are the four steps to practicing mindfulness effectively:
Relabel
Relabeling consists of stepping back and addressing the thought, feeling, or
behavior. Ask yourself, which cognitive distortion does this thought fall
under? Which feeling can you attach this thought to? What does this
thought and feeling make you want to do? Why? When you identify these
messages, you will be able to better understand where they come from and
when they are “false alarms.”
Reattribute
Once you have identified the message your thought, feeling, or behavior
brings to the surface, you must reassign the thought to a different
perspective. Figure out how important the thought is. If it is important or
repetitive, then add a new definition behind it and see it in a different light.
Refocus
Once you have addressed the thought, picked it apart, added meaning, and
changed your perception, switch your focus. The point of this is to not get
stuck thinking about this for too long, as that is why your brain becomes
overactive and scattered. It is when you intentionally switch your focus to
something else that rewires and resets your brain.
Revalue
Revaluing happens when you have mastered the other three steps. It
happens almost instantly after some time. Revaluing means you can see
thoughts, urges, and impulses for what they are. When you see these things
for what they are, you will have reset your brain to configure and place your
thoughts in the correct “brain slots.” Your brain will automatically be able
to decipher whether a thought or message is beneficial or destructive.
To recap, the easiest way to reboot the brain is to stop multitasking, notice
when you are processing or taking on too many tasks or too much
information, switch thinking about things to healthy distractions, be mindful
of your thoughts, and practice focusing your attention to one thing at a time.
Analysis Paralysis
“Analysis paralysis or paralysis by analysis is an anti-pattern, the state of
over-analyzing (or overthinking) a situation so that a decision or action is
never taken, in effect paralyzing the outcome.” 1
I like to think of this in relation to the “flight, fight, freeze” response -
analysis paralysis being the freeze reaction. This is when a person gets so
caught up in their own thoughts about what to do with a solution to a
problem that they can’t figure out which solution to choose, so instead they
do nothing. Analysis paralysis stems from decision-making skills.
American psychologist, Herbert Simon, says that we make decisions in one
of two ways:
Satisfice
This means that people pick one option that best suits their needs or
attention.
Maximize
This means that people cannot be satisfied with one decision but make up
multiple solutions and always think there are better alternatives than their
original decision.
Maximizers are the ones who suffer with analysis paralysis the most. People
overthink because they fear their potential mistakes and want to avoid the
possibility of failure. Analysis paralysis is a fancy word for overthinking
combined with the inability to make decisions.
Overcoming Analysis Paralysis
Since analysis paralysis stems from the inability to make effective and
quick decisions, the way to overcome it is to simply work on your decision-
making skills. Here are ways to get unstuck when you have developed
overthinking to the point of analysis paralysis:
1. Prioritize your decisions
Break your decisions into categories, meaning you should figure out which
decisions are big, and which are small; which are important, and which
decisions don’t need much attention. When figuring out which decision to
put into which category, ask yourself these questions:
• How important is this decision?
• How immediate is the decision I need to make?
• Is this decision going to make a big or small impact on what happens
next?
• What are the best-case and worst-case scenarios based on the solutions I
have come up with?
When we categorize our decisions, it makes it easier to stick to our final
decision without changing our minds later.
2. Find the “end goal” as part of your solution
When you are stuck wondering why you need to make a decision, you can
get stuck in the analysis-paralysis trap. Our decisions can revolve around
many other thoughts, like “What if I make the wrong choice?” or, “There
are so many things I can do, but which is the right decision to make?” If not
knowing why you need to make a decision is the case for you, then defining
the goal or objective may be a better way to look at the decision you need to
make. For example, imagine you are stuck between choosing between two
jobs, you already have a career you are succeeding in, but you want
something new and are unsure why you need to make a decision or even if
you should. Ask yourself what the objective is - where do you envision you
should or will be five-to-ten years from now? When you look at the “end
goal,” it may become easier to figure out what you need to do.
3. Break decisions into smaller portions
This technique is like the opposite of the last technique. You are still
looking at the “end goal,” but instead of making a decision based on the end
goal, you are breaking your end goal into a smaller goal. You can then
break your decisions into smaller decisions to complete the “mini goal(s).”
While this is still decision-making, make sure that when you come to a final
decision, you stick with it. If you are still having a hard time deciding, then
write your decisions down on paper and come up with no more than three-
to-five decisions. Eventually, the more you do this, the smaller the list will
become every time and you will only make one decision, which is a goal
inside itself - to overcome analysis paralysis.
4. Get a second opinion
If you are still stuck after you have made your list and you are still
overthinking the many things you can do, then pick two top solutions and
bring them up to a trustee. In doing this, let go of all judgements within
yourself. Let go of control and perfectionism. Rely solely on this other
person’s opinion, and if they give you advice on a decision you are still
unsure about or may not have chosen in the end, then remind yourself that
you came to them because you were struggling, and you trust them. Ask
yourself how many times this person may have been right when you went
against them. Also, tell yourself that you need to let go of the fear that
something bad will happen. A quote that has made a big impact on me, as
well as the people in my life, is this: “Insanity: doing the same thing over
and over again and expecting different results”. 2 In other words, if you
continue to do the same thing but you’re expecting something different,
then the change will never happen.
Fear
A big part of overthinking, worrying, and negative thinking all revolves
around one thing: Fear. Fear of losing control, fear of making a mistake or
failing, fear of making a decision, or just a general fear. Fear is learned and
can be solved with self-discipline and exposure therapy. Fear is paralyzing
and can actually stop someone from doing what they want, making people
miss out on successful opportunities. Fear is the number one response to
excessive worries and overthinking brains. In order to feel completely in
control of our thoughts and actions, it is best to overcome our fears.
Here are some techniques for overcoming fear:
1. Acknowledge that the fear (no matter how big or small) is real
When people have fear or are anxious about a specific thing or a variety of
things, the fear is real for them. Fear is often a good thing to have; it means
that our human instincts are working properly. For example, a woman who
is walking home after work in the dark by herself should have worries or
fears about walking alone in the dark. A child’s first day of school can be
worrisome and fearful, as well as for a child or student who enters a new
school in the middle of the year. A man who has to go into surgery on their
brain or another functioning organ, or someone who needs to go to the
dentist, both fear the potential for a bad outcome. These are all fears that
should be there. However, a fear of clowns, small spaces, flying, or heights
are all irrational fears or fears that have been learned. Whatever someone
fears is real to them and should be looked at with appreciation and never
forced to overcome. Fears cannot be overcome unless the person is willing
to tackle them.
2. Accept your fear
Accept that you have this fear. This could be as big as starting a new job,
meeting new people, moving to a new town or city, or becoming a parent.
Or it could be as small as a spider that scurries across your feet, weird
creaking noises in your new house, someone scaring you, or driving.
Whatever it is that makes you fearful, accept that this is the fear you have;
don’t ignore it, avoid it, or deny it. It’s there, and you fear it.
3. Break it down
Gain some perspective on your fear. Ask yourself:
• What risk are you at?
• Can having this fear really hurt you?
• If your fear came true, then what would happen?
• What are the best-case and the worst-case scenarios if this fear were to be
right in front of you, right now?
Sometimes fears are irrational and cause many people to overthink. Other
times overthinking causes new fears to evolve. So once you have asked
yourself those questions, ask some more:
• If the scenario happened (worst case), what could you do about it?
• Do you underestimate your ability to handle the situation?
• If the scenario happened (best case), what could you do about it?
• Do you overestimate your ability to handle the situation?
Oftentimes, people share the same fears. Find someone you share your fears
with and strive to overcome them together. When you share the same fears
as someone else, you feel a sense of belonging, as you are not alone in these
fears.
4. Give into the fear - assuming the worst
The best way to overcome your fears is to face them or to mindfully pay
attention to them. For a while, I had anxiety about going out in public. So
when I was faced with a public situation, like grocery shopping, I would
become overwhelmed and the physical symptoms of fear would kick in -
much like a panic attack. When I intentionally went out in public, I first
watched my thoughts, and if they were negative, then I would challenge
them and replace them with better ones. If my fear became overwhelming, I
would go home, but I would try again when I had calmed down - usually
the next day. I didn’t let fear take control because I kept fighting back. This
is also called exposure therapy.
Exposure Therapy
Exposure therapy does not work for everyone, however, when you dedicate
yourself to continuing to try even when fear takes over, you will succeed in
overcoming the very thing you are afraid of. Exposure therapy is what a
psychologist will introduce to someone who suffers from a panic disorder
or some other mood disorder.
It is a type of therapy that helps people with mood disorders to confront
their irrational fears. However, you do not need to have a disability if you
want to use exposure therapy, as it works for anyone who is willing to learn.
There are different types of exposure therapies, including:
In vivo exposure
This is facing a feared object, situation, or activity head-on in real-life
scenarios. For example, someone who fears public transit may be advised to
go on a bus or monorail (first with someone, then without someone).
Someone who fears social interaction may be advised to present a speech in
front of a small group of people, building up to an assembly of people.
Imaginal exposure
This is when you sit with a trusted friend or a psychologist and let them
guide you visually with your feared object, situation, or activity. For
example, someone with PTSD would go through a guided visualization of
the things that had happened to them revolving around their fear from their
past. Over time, their fear doesn’t affect them as badly.
Virtual reality exposure
When other exposures are not practical or helpful, this is when virtual
reality is used. For example, someone who fears flying may take a virtual or
guided visualization of flying. This virtual world brings the person into the
world of flying, without actually flying, experiencing the sights, sounds,
smells, and texture of their surroundings.
Interoceptive exposure
This is the use of intentionally bringing about the physical sensations of the
feared sensation. For example, someone with a panic disorder may get more
heightened fear when they feel dizzy from a panic attack. They may be
instructed to spin in circles to exaggerate the effects, and then try to stand,
keep their balance, or sit down. This is so they understand that the physical
effects are not as scary when it’s happening because they can implement the
same feelings themselves.
Exposure therapy helps people overcome their fears because it develops and
rewires the brain to make different connections. When people intentionally
create or face their fear, the fear only becomes a distant memory and
therefore has no control over the person.
 STEP 5: APPLYING POSITIVITY

The thing about positive thinking is that it is contagious, just like negative
thinking. Meaning, when you are around a positive person, you can take on
this “vibe” or energy and become positive yourself. Positivity affects more
than just you; it affects the people and environment around you. For
example, if you were to go to a job interview and you showed up with a
confident, positive attitude, then the employer would be more inclined to
hire you. If you showed up tired, hungry, or exhausted, then this would
show in your attitude and you wouldn’t be able to put your best foot
forward. The employer would most likely turn a blind eye to you and hire
the next positive person that came for an interview. It’s simple - positive
attracts positive, and negative attracts negative.
As discussed in the previous chapters, it has been proven that our brains
actually change shape and form depending on how we think and live our
lives. With that being said, what’s more interesting is that when we repeat
habits, thoughts, and behaviors, we are actually training our brain. We can
train our brain to act and behave in any way we want because when we
repeat things, our brains connect synapses that weren’t previously there and
then associate these thoughts with behaviors, turning them into habits. So it
makes sense to say that when we think negatively, we are repeating bad
thoughts to ourselves. While our brain associates the negative thoughts with
the behaviors that we act on, we then continue to repeat bad habits. We can
do this with positive thinking as well. Ever heard the saying: “Life is what
you make it?” This is true due to the fact that when we implement negative
thoughts, we act, see, feel, and apply negative habits. However, when we
repeat positive things to ourselves (even when we don’t believe them), we
start to see, hear, think, and apply positive behaviors.
The reason negativity is mostly seen in this generation or society is because
negativity is addictive. It’s hard to escape, and once we think negatively, we
cannot stop as it acts like a drug. We do these things because we don’t like
to take blame; instead, we want to blame our negative thoughts for why we
are depressed. We blame our worrying for why we are anxious. We blame
our overthinking for our actions. It’s a hard truth to accept, but the only
person to blame for your negative thinking is YOU. The thing is, change
isn’t easy. What’s easy is what we continue to do, what is familiar to us. So
it’s no wonder we don’t just wake up one day and say, “Hey, I am going to
be positive today.” But that is the answer, it’s your choice to wake up and be
positive, and it really is that easy. However, what is not easy is continuing
to do something new and different. This is why changing and rewiring your
brain to be positive takes commitment and dedication if you truly want to
escape the nightmare of negativity you have been living in.
How to Think Positive
When you develop and improve positive thinking, it goes beyond just what
you think about that makes you smile. It becomes your environment. It
becomes who you are as an individual. Positivity - just like negativity -
consumes us. It can be very difficult to think positively when having a
rough day or when everyone or everything around you seems depressing or
worrisome. But the truth is, when you think positively, your aura and mind
stop looking for the bad in every situation and you actually become grateful
for these hard days and extreme failures because they shape your destiny. In
every horrible scenario, there is good that you can take from it. At first,
seeing the positive in situations can be very difficult, but over time, it will
become so easy that you won’t even need to think, the positive will just be
there.
So, how do we do it? Here are four ways you can develop positivity in your
life:
1. Focus on three (or more) positive things daily
Before going to sleep at night, rehash your day in your mind. Think about
everything that happened and take three positive perceptions away from the
day. It could be anything. Was the sun shining? Did you reconnect with an
old friend? Maybe your boss or co-worker wasn’t that grumpy today which
made it a less stressful day. The more you start seeing the small positive
effects, the more your perception of positivity will develop, and the quicker
happiness and success will come.
2. Do something nice for someone
It may not seem like it, but acts of kindness can not only lift your spirits but
lift someone else’s spirits as well. When we do nice for others, we are
actually feeding our soul with positivity because those chemical endorphins
shoot off in our brains as a reward response. These acts could be anything,
such as smiling at a stranger, waving to a coworker, or pausing to do
something thoughtful for someone you know. When you make someone
else smile, your heart smiles, which makes you feel better about yourself
and develop confidence.
3. Be in the present
If I haven’t said this enough, then let me say it again: Be mindful! When we
stay in the present moment, it creates balance and structure in our own
awareness of what is going on around us. When we become aware of our
surroundings while staying in the present moment, we will be able to better
pick up on the positive things that happen, and negativity will seem like a
distant friend.
4. Practice self-love and gratitude
The thing about positivity is that when you love yourself, it becomes easier
to help others and give back to the universe. Just think about it - if you
don’t love yourself, then your relationships fall apart faster, your job never
seems to feel satisfying, and you constantly second-guess your ability to
handle stressful situations. However, when you do love yourself, you can be
thankful for what you have because you have it. You won’t be asking for
more or for things that you don’t have, and envy or jealousy won’t seem
like important things to worry about anymore. Being grateful for the human
you are requires self-acceptance and a deeper understanding of what you
want in life. So, any chance you get, be grateful for what you have rather
than envy what you don’t have. The grass is rarely greener on the other
side.
Changing Your Mood
Most of the time, we get stuck in negative thought-patterns because our
moods are dark. It’s a cycle - negative or worrisome thoughts bring on bad
moods, which bring on perceptions of more negative outcomes, which then
makes it hard to make important decisions because our minds are crowded,
which then leads to overthinking (or negative thoughts), and so on. Some
days we don’t want to get out of bed, and other days we are motivated,
producing “feel good” chemicals that result in getting more done. On the
days you feel down, stressed out, anxious, or depressed, think about the
productive days and try to draw from that energy. Also, sometimes it is
okay to give into your dark mood, just try not to sulk or make it a daily
habit.
Here are ways you can change your dark mood to a lighter one when you
feel stuck in the mud:
1. Get exercise
We talked about this already as well. When you work out, those “feel good”
chemicals release in your brain and can change your mood instantly. Also,
it is a good distraction from your bad mood because instead of focusing on
what got you so upset, you can focus on other things, like the scenery or
your breathing. Make sure to drink water while you work out as being
dehydrated can actually make you feel worse.
2. Listen to or watch motivational material
When you don’t feel like moving or getting out of bed and it’s just one of
those days, then watch an inspiring movie or listen to an uplifting podcast.
Even though we tend to listen to music that matches what we feel in our
down moments, ignore this urge and do the opposite - crank some happy,
upbeat tunes. Who knows, it may even want to make you dance or sing. It
will lift your spirit 60% faster by listening to or watching motivational
material over listening to or watching negative, depressing material.
Interestingly, when we listen to what suits our mood at the moment, we are
actually training our brains that these attitudes are okay, and then we find
ourselves falling deeper into the negative cycle.
3. Change your body language
This means that you should act and behave the way you want to feel. So, if
you want to feel confident, then prance around the house in the sexiest or
wackiest thing you have and pose in front of a mirror with your chest puffed
out and your back straight. If you want to feel relaxed, then throw on your
comfy clothes and lounge around, but be mindful of what you tell yourself.
Force yourself to smile for 60 seconds, and I guarantee your mood will lift,
even if only slightly. Don’t let negativity consume you; break free by being
you. Be funny, laugh, tickle yourself, talk to someone about your
aspirations and dreams, or do whatever you need to get out of the funk you
are in and into the mood you want to have.
4. Be grateful or have appreciation for EVERYTHING
Here is a weird, funny fact: We find it normal when someone goes around
and complains about everything. We listen to our friends vent, our parents
bicker, our bosses complain, and even strangers arguing with themselves
sometimes. It is “normal” to listen to someone complain and bicker about
things, but wouldn’t it be weird if we heard someone going off about how
grateful and appreciative they are about everything? How often do you hear
someone say, “It’s raining outside, and I am so grateful for the rain,” or,
“Food is often taken for granted, so I just wanted to take a moment to feel
blessed for this food.” Have you ever heard someone say, “I appreciate that
my kids scream and give me attitude, because it means they are growing
human beings?” No, you probably haven’t. Imagine if you said out loud
everything you were grateful for today, everything you appreciated today
and even yesterday. Imagine how you would feel and how you would make
others feel. You may even have a good laugh, but isn’t that the point?
Practice this.
5. Force positivity, even when you don’t feel like it
The truth about your thoughts is that they do not control you. This is the
same with moods; they don’t control you. So when you have a hard time
practicing or enforcing the previous techniques, just do it anyway. Force
yourself to smile, force yourself to get out of bed and dance, force yourself
to feel grateful. Once you get up and force positivity into your day, you are
taking control of your surroundings and your behavior. This teaches your
brain that, even in down times and dark moods, you are in control of how
you react to them, creating positivity and healthy habits.
Enforcing Positive Habits
Sometimes, thinking positively and changing your mood isn’t enough to
develop a positive attitude regularly. You have to create habits so that your
brain stops synapsing the negative enforcements you have created and starts
synapsing the positive ones. While the previous exercises will work in the
short-term, you will need to not only practice these every day, but create
healthy daily-habits as well. If you stay consistent in creating positive
habits, then you will become less anxious, less of a “worry wart,” and more
easy-going. The minute you know you have succeeded in being positive is
when you stop feeling tense during the day and you see the light in all
situations. You will feel clear-minded and you will have acceptance of what
you can’t control, meaning you have acknowledged that negativity no
longer consumes you as you have taken the control back.
Let’s look at ways you can create positive habits to feel these beneficial
results:
1. Find the root of the negativity
Finding the root of your negativity is just the start of what needs to be done
before you can continue with your day. Think (but don’t think too much)
about why you may be in a bad mood or where your negative thoughts are
coming from. If they stem from something someone said, then it may be a
little easier to get yourself in a better mood, rather than if your negative
thoughts stem from continuous behavior surrounding this specific thought.
Once you have figured out the root of the negativity, it will be easier to
address what to do next.
2. Start the day with positivity
Wake up and be thankful for your life. Be thankful for your kids, your
spouse, or the fact that you are not homeless. Be grateful for your friends
and family, but most of all, be grateful that you are here, that you got
yourself to where you are in life now. Every day that you wake up, do one
positive thing that brightens your mood. Do one thing you didn’t do
yesterday and make this a habit. If you want change, then you have to do
something different, so get out of your comfort zone and start the day with
positivity. This could be listening to your favorite tunes, making your
favorite breakfast, or going for a mindful walk or jog. Remember to always
start and finish your day with affirmations for yourself like, “This is going
to be a great day,” or, “Today was great, and tomorrow will be even better.”
3. Find humor in tough situations
If you are having a bad day or you are faced with a negative influence or
position, then create an inside joke (to yourself, preferably). You may find
that you are funnier than you think, and it is a great way to make light out
of a difficult scenario. For example, instead of calling your spouse names in
a fight, imagine what would happen if you called them a fruitcake or a
wheelbarrow. Picture their face like a tomato or a car wheel. Imagine your
thoughts spinning in a tornado of funny memories rather than a spiral of bad
images. Maybe you just got fired, so instead of thinking about the financial
stresses or all the wrong things that are bound to happen, think of how great
it will feel to have just a few days (or weeks) off to yourself. Think about
how your next job will be better and shed some light on how ambitious you
actually are.
4. Perceive every failure as a lesson to grow
Rather than being fearful of your mistakes, try making mistakes on purpose,
just to see what happens. You may find that your mistakes will not only
show you what not to do or what to avoid, but they also give you insight on
that things are not as bad as you had originally imagined. Most importantly,
when you accidentally fail, learn from it. If you messed up at work and got
paperwork mixed up or names wrong, then just say sorry and make a
mental note to double-check next time. Maybe you forgot a friend’s
birthday, and it’s your best friend who you never forget. Although you feel
bad, they might not feel as bad as you may be feeling, so don’t beat yourself
up about it. Instead, mark it on the calendar for next year and picture
yourself doing something really great for them (not just on their birthday,
but any day of the year as well).
5. Replace your negative thoughts
For some people, negative thinking is just the way of life for them, so it can
be challenging to catch them in a low moment. However, for the times you
do catch yourself thinking, “I’m horrible at this,” or, “I never do anything
right,” then intentionally make a mental note of these thoughts and simply
replace them. Instead think, “I may be bad at this, but with practice I will
get better, so I must not give up because I can do this,” or, “Just because I
feel like I never do anything right, doesn’t mean it is true; I am great at
many things.” When you replace thoughts like this on purpose, you’re
acknowledging your negative thoughts and creating a habit to think more
positively. It is okay if at first you don’t believe yourself, but notice the
change in your mood after a couple of times doing this.
6. Don’t engage in drama
Drama has always excited people, but drama can be pretty harmful when
we get caught up in the gossip and eventful turns of our lives or someone
else’s. When we stop paying attention to these types of events, we can start
focusing more on our own lives and do more productive things. Find drama
in movies or television, but try to avoid the drama in someone else’s life
and even your own.
7. Create solutions, not more problems
Problems are what got you into this mess. We are trying to avoid problems
by solving them. Solve problems by asking more questions and being
engaged with the situation. Be fully in the present rather than in your head.
This way, you can handle whatever question or accusation that comes at
you. Stay calm and be logical or creative. Listen to your intuition, not your
overactive mind. When you are having a difficult time coming up with a
logical decision on how to handle something, give yourself (or the person or
circumstance) a couple days to process. Journal the problems and “mind
map” solutions. Try to come up with no more than three good decisions,
and then go to the part in this book that explains how to make decisions (in
the next chapter). This is how you will effectively solve your problems.
8. Repeat
This step is the last and easiest step: Just repeat. When you find yourself
overthinking, excessively worrying, or catch your negative thoughts
attacking you again, go back to number one on this list. Start again. Do this
every day and practice these steps fully with 100% of your effort put into it.
If you do this right, you will notice a positive life and new surroundings
developing within yourself. Slowly but surely, your old attitude and
behaviors will disappear, making positivity your second nature.
 A SHORT MESSAGE FROM THE AUTHOR

Hey, are you enjoying the book? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Many readers do not know how hard reviews are to come by, and how
much they help an author.

I would be incredibly grateful if you could take just 60 seconds to write a

brief review on Amazon, even if it’s just a few sentences!
>> Click here to leave a quick review
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts!
Your review will genuinely make a difference for me and help gain
exposure for my work.
 STEP 6: HOW TO DECLUTTER YOUR MIND AND
BECOME WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE

A short brief of this chapter: You will learn how to get enough sleep, and
stay asleep, so you have the energy to stay focused on being positive,
developing self-confidence, improving your decision-making skills,
stopping procrastination, starting to set goals, and learning more techniques
on how to effectively solve problems. Perhaps this chapter is the most
important chapter you have come across yet. So let’s dive right in.
Insomnia
I want to start off with sleeping habits and what insomnia is because almost
everything in this book, or what more there is to be read, involves getting
enough sleep. You can’t be productive if you don’t have energy, so how can
you tackle your mind traps when you are too tired to focus on them?
So, what is insomnia? Insomnia is when it becomes, or seems, impossible to
get a good night’s rest or even fall asleep. It may seem like your thoughts or
other things in your life are keeping you awake at night, and so it’s difficult
to fall asleep. Some signs of insomnia are:
• Fatigue;
• Low energy (no matter what you do);
• It becomes challenging to focus on anything;
• Irritation or other mood changes;
• Decreased performance in work and school due to thought-patterns and
lack of sleep.
There are different types of insomnia - let’s take a look at them now:
Acute insomnia
This type of insomnia is situational. For instance, if you cannot sleep
because of an exam you are dreading, a presentation you aren’t completely
prepared for, or an event you have been waiting months for.
Chronic insomnia
This is when your sleep is disrupted, meaning you cannot stay asleep once
you have fallen asleep. This occurs at least three times a week and lasts for
about three months or more.
Comorbid insomnia
This is a condition that is underlined by anxiety, depression, or other
psychological conditions.
Onset insomnia
This is where you may have a difficult time falling asleep, no matter what
the cause is.
Maintenance insomnia
This is when you can fall asleep, but you have a hard time staying asleep
throughout the night. It then becomes difficult to fall back asleep.
Insomnia is not easy to live with, and it can disrupt many aspects of an
individual's life. However, it is fixable with the right attitude and the proper
motivation to do so.
How to Develop Better Sleep Habits
If the symptoms above sound about right, or if you have been diagnosed,
then here are a few things that can help you sleep better:
1. Create a sleep routine
If you are not quite sure how to do this, then think about how you would put
your baby, toddler, or children to sleep. Usually it starts about an hour
before bed when you turn off technology, they get a bath, have a light snack
and a glass of water, then it's pajama time, story time, and finally bedtime.
Some kids may like it when you cuddle them or if you just rub their back or
sing to them. Set up your own bedtime routine about an hour or so before
you expect to sleep. By doing this regularly, and sticking to it, it will be
easier for that mental noise to quiet down so you can unwind.
2. Exercise daily
Sometimes, the reason it is so challenging to fall asleep is because our
bodies have too much energy. That restless leg syndrome is because your
legs need to be stretched out and massaged. Whether you do it in the
morning, or about two hours before you want to sleep, exercising is great to
help the body relax itself later.
3. Limit technology
This is a big one because technology, like TV, phones, and other electronic
devices, give off blue light that our brains detect as “daytime.” This blue
light makes our brains produce less melatonin (the chemical that promotes
sleep), and our brains eventually don’t know the difference between night
and day. So turn off your technology - unless it’s to listen to breathing
exercises or guided meditations.
4. Make your bed for only sleeping or intimacy
It could be difficult to stay or fall asleep because you use your bed for
practically everything. Do you eat on your bed? Visit friends on your bed?
Do you talk on the phone in your bedroom? Is there a television set in your
room? All these things can trick the brain into thinking your bed is more
like a couch, and your room is more like a living room. When your mind
interacts with your bed as a daily living area, it can be difficult for your
mind to associate sleep with your bed. This can greatly increase insomnia
symptoms. So take living out of your bedroom and start using other areas of
your house for these daily activities instead.
5. Distract your mind with mental exercises before expecting to sleep
No, I don’t mean use this as an excuse to go on your phone and play brain
games. Go to the store and buy some pens, pencils, erasers, paper, and
puzzle books. Or better yet, pick up a book from the store that you want to
read. Get a magazine and read the comics or fill out the crossword puzzles.
Pick up a scrabble board or single player card game and activate your mind
with things you need to think about. Do some math or write in a journal.
Yes, go old school and drop the technology. This not only distracts your
mind from overthinking, but also helps produce melatonin so that you find
it easier to fall and stay asleep at night.
6. Practice relaxation methods
So this should be the only reason you use technology, unless you are willing
to burn a CD full of relaxing music, beta wave audio playlists, and guided
meditation videos. When you lay down to rest, breathe in through your nose
and out through your mouth. Breathe with your stomach and gut, not your
chest. This helps get more oxygen into your system and activates the brain
to slow down and relax.
7. Heavy blankets
Heavy blankets are great for when you need that extra comfort. When we
cuddle someone, we feel warmth and closeness. A heavy blanket acts like
the same thing. So if you fall asleep with no problem, but then wake up
throughout the night, then the heavy blanket is there as a safety net to get
you back to sleep with little to no effort. A great idea if you suffer with
maintenance insomnia is to put on relaxing music in the background for
when you do sleep, so that when you wake up, the music will lull you back
to sleep.
Hopefully these techniques help, and you will be able to stay asleep. It may
not be immediate, but if you keep practicing these techniques, especially an
hour or two before your bedtime, then sleep will come sooner rather than
later. Along with these methods, make sure your “worry time” is way
before you go to sleep. If you spend time worrying and going through your
thoughts too close to when you plan on sleeping, then those thoughts can
carry into your bedtime routine and make it more difficult to fall asleep
because your brain will then learn that when it’s time to sleep, it’s time to
think. We don’t want that.
Decision-Making and Problem-Solving Techniques
It’s a fact that you need effective decision-making skills to solve
complicated or challenging problems. It’s also a fact that in order to be an
efficient problem solver, you need to understand that the decisions you
make define the outcome of a solution. I have combined these two in one
section because they are like two peas in a pod. Everything we learn on
decision-making will tie into how you solve problems. If you need more
help with problem solving, then the last chapter has very useful techniques
on this topic.
Every skill has another skill that needs to be or can be learned. The skills
needed to be effective in decision-making are:
• Processing the different decisions we can choose from for our set goal or
outcome;
• Self-reflection or self-awareness;
• Creativity or analytical skills;
• Effective communication skills;
• Organizational skills.
These skills are needed so that we can reflect on our own attitudes and
thoughts in order to make a decision and stick with them. Most times,
people come up with multiple decisions that point to our official
destination, so it is good to have organizational skills and creativity so that
we can implement and pick them apart, leading us one step closer to the
final decision.
The skills needed for effective problem-solving skills are:
• Creativity and logical reasoning skills;
• Research skills;
• Communication and socialization skills;
• Emotional intelligence;
• Decision-making.
Do you see a pattern? Almost all five of these skills somehow inter-relate to
the decision-making process. Emotional intelligence is great to develop in
both these skills as it allows you to think for yourself, reflect on attitudes,
and feel empathy for other people. Emotional intelligence then leads to
social intelligence, which is where you have good communication skills in
getting what you want or need in a polite manner.
So, let’s look deeper at what a problem is. A problem features goals and
barriers. We have goals we want to reach, and then there are these hills or
mountains, called barriers, that stand in our way to reach these goals.
Problem solving is about overcoming these barriers so that we can reach
our final destination: Our goals.
Problem-Solving Stages
In order to solve a problem, we must first go through the stages of that
problem:
1. Identifying the problem
This is the stage where the problem arises. At this stage, the problem can be
scattered and unclear so that it may seem really big, but when you think
about and identify it, you can define what the actual problem is.
2. Researching for the problem
This is where we learn to observe and break down the problems revolving
around the main problem. We look at the barriers, and we do some research
on these barriers. When we do this, we develop a clearer picture of how we
can fix the problem in our minds.
3. Searching for and making a list of solutions
After you have defined and broken down the problem and identified every
barrier, you can then start finding possible solutions.
You can make a list of the outcomes based on your creative skills in
finding a solution. Without evaluating too much, this is where our brains are
in action to find a solution.
4. Making a decision
Once we have a list of solutions, it is time to make a decision. Using our
logical reasoning or our communication skills, we can use these to pick
the best solution in our previous step. Then when we make a decision, we
stick with it and continue forward.
5. Taking action
This is the final stage where we have used all of our skills to make a final
decision, and we put this decision into action. Moving forward, we don’t
look back; if we made a mistake, then we only learn from this later. Taking
action is not to second-guess our decision or listen to the chatter in our
minds that make us want to turn back. It is to overcome our fear that we had
already done all we could and accept that this is what we will do now.
Basically, problem solving is just finding ways to solve a difficult or
challenging task to reach our goal or destination. It’s the decision-making
process that defines how quickly we get over the barriers to solve these
problems. Our minds usually get in the way with overthinking or second-
guessing, and so this is why we need to learn how to make decisions
without regretting them later.
How to Develop Decision-Making Skills
In this book, we have talked about shutting the mental chatter off, how to
reboot the mind, and how to overcome our fears. The reason most people
have a hard time with their decision-making skills is because they
procrastinate implementing the solution, as they want to make sure it is the
perfect decision that doesn’t lead to failure. Failure is only implemented
when you fear that you have not done your best, which stems from being a
perfectionist, which also results in procrastinating with the decision-making
process. One effective way to stop this spiral is to be confident in yourself
that whatever decision you make, or are about to make, has been thoroughly
researched and defined mentally or physically and that there is no other
option. Be certain with your decisions and learn from them if they weren’t
what you expected. Positivity is the only outcome you should have in the
end.
First, let’s talk basics. Then, we will discuss other options for making these
decisions while combining the basics with them:
Schedule a good thinking time
When you intentionally put aside some time in your day to think about the
“problem” at hand, then you can figure out what your decisions around this
problem might be.
Define your decisions
Just like defining the problem, you need to identify and lay out your
decisions as well. Choose a number of decisions based on ONE problem at
a time. When you have your decisions laid out, you can take a step back and
determine which route is the best path to take.
Think through every option you choose
Every option you have come up with at this point needs to be properly
thought out. Stop making more decisions because the more decisions you
have, the more likely it will become a bigger piece of a pie you can’t chew.
The options you have now (limited to three to five) are the ones that need to
be carefully thought out so you can solve your problem and reach your
goal.
Now that the basics are covered, here are more things you can do involving
the basics:
1. Ask yourself what your morals and values are
This is a big thing because it teaches us self-awareness and helps us
perceive the decision-making process in a way we won’t want to turn back
from. Say you have two decisions in front of you: One could put your friend
in a place where you may not be, and you would be sacrificing for their
benefit; the other decision puts you on top and makes them your “sidekick.”
You need to pick one of these options based on what is going to make you
the happiest. If it is seeing your friend in a better place than they are now
because you have other ideas for yourself, then option one is better.
However, if your friend is already in a good place and you need to be the
one on top, then the second option is better. Whatever your core values are,
don’t stray from them because the “what if” games are never fun or helpful.
2. Imagine what the outcome will be
Close your eyes and picture what you imagine happening with the decisions
you have outlined. Picture the best-case scenarios and the worst-case
scenarios. Don’t think too hard, and give yourself a five-minute time limit.
Once that timer goes off, choose whatever decision you felt happiest about
in the end.
3. Test it
In some cases, not all, this falls into play. For example, if your job is asking
you to relocate, then go visit the city to which you have to move and see
what your feelings are involved with this city. If you feel right, then go for
it; if you feel off, then listen to that instinct and don’t do it.
4. Listen to your hopes
Your hopes act like a compass for your gut instinct. It’s your intuition
shouting out at you to do something. So maybe your heart is one place and
your mind is somewhere else. If you were to flip a coin, then what would
you hope for it to be? If you were to ask someone for advice, then what
would you hope for them to say? Whatever these instincts are, listen to
them. If you make a decision based on defying these hopes, then you may
not be happy with the results in the end and spend countless hours wishing
you had picked the other option. Listen to your gut; most of the time, it’s
right.
Self-Confidence in Setting and Accomplishing Your Goals
Self-confidence is when you feel positively assured that you are correct in
your judgements, abilities, power, values, and decisions, among other
things. It is different from self-esteem in the fact that self-esteem is the
evaluation of one’s self-worth, but self-confidence is the ability to fully
trust in ourselves to accomplish anything we set our minds to.
Some characteristics of a self-confident individual are:
• They do what they feel is right, even if someone else disagrees or
criticizes them;
• They are determined to get what they want and go for it no matter what;
• They admit to their mistakes and take responsibility for their actions;
• They wait for acceptance or approval because they don’t feel like they
need to be praised;
• They do not boast or brag about their accomplishments;
• They willingly accept compliments;
• They feel comfortable being vulnerable;
• They don’t feel the need to control or be jealous;
• They will not take blame if a relationship doesn’t work out, nor do they
blame the other person;
• They are confident that the decisions they make are good ones;
• They are self-aware and assertive.
All of these characteristics are perfect for making and maintaining goals
and reaching your own potential. To be self-confident means that you are
open to take risks and have little fear in the unknown because you are
confident enough to accomplish what needs to be done.
Developing Self-Confidence
If these characteristics do not sound like you, then rest assured that they can
be learned. If you don’t develop or work on your self-confidence, then that
is okay because you will still be able to get what you want; however, it may
take longer, and your goals may be further away than you would like. It
may seem like you are climbing a never-ending mountain of barriers to
reach your desired destination. Some call this the way of life, but does life
have to be this way? Here are some steps on how to develop and improve
your self-confidence levels:
1. Step One: Formulating Your Adventure
There are five important things when it comes to getting yourself ready for
self-confidence. These are explained below. To start your adventure, you
must figure out where you are now, where you want to go, and believe in
yourself that you can and will make this happen. You must develop the
positivity and welcome this kind of commitment to change.
Look back at your achievements
When you think about your successes, try to name at least five things you
have accomplished in your life thus far. Did you finish first in a marathon?
Did you win at a hot dog eating contest? Were you an honor’s student with
A’s in high school? Did you help a cat down from a tree? Or save a life?
Whatever your achievements, big or small, they all count.
Notice your strengths
Once you have made your success list, you can then find out what your
strengths are. Maybe for one of these achievements, you didn’t do your best
and you want to learn how to do better or more. When you notice your
strengths, you can then move on to figuring out what your goals and
barriers are surrounding these strengths. Ask yourself what you want to do.
Where do you want to be? And who do you want to become? It is never too
late to start this adventure.
Figure out what’s most important to you
Setting and accomplishing goals is the number one thing surrounding your
self-confidence. Self-confidence largely focuses on your ability to complete
and strive towards your goals and continue to make new ones. The more
accomplished you are, the more your self-confidence levels will improve.
Even if you fail or make a mistake, confidence is about learning to grow
from these mistakes and try harder the next time around. When you find out
what’s most important to you, you will realize that doing what you love is
not that scary and failed attempts are part of the process.
Manage your mind
This book is all about managing your mind. You must practice positivity
through this whole process. Challenge those negative thoughts, continue to
reboot your brain, and work towards quieting those pesky worries. Combat
your negative side and embrace your productive, positive side while
continuing to strive for more confidence.
Commit to success
This final step to starting your adventure is perhaps the most important: You
must promise yourself that no matter what, through thick and thin, you will
commit to achieving your goals. You are basically making a vow to yourself
to take steps forward every day to focus on your positivity, combating those
unwanted thoughts, and becoming the best you can be. But wait, it’s also
more than that; it’s believing that you can do this, and you will.
2. Step Two: Start Your Voyage
This step is where you set out on your voyage to complete your
masterpiece. By this point, you should have completed a self-awarded
measure of everything you have done. You should accept that your faults
will continue, but you believe in yourself now. You should be able to say
confidently and with pride that you are committed to becoming more
because you value and appreciate yourself. Start with small, easy wins, and
progress by completing bigger and bigger goals as you go forward. With
every “win,” make it a big deal and give yourself great rewards. This is how
self-confidence will develop quicker.
Build knowledge
When you have made a list of your goals, look at them. Look at your
strengths list and figure out what skills you will need to develop or learn to
achieve these goals you have set. Once you have a set idea of how to
achieve these goals, take a course and build knowledge around the steps to
complete your goal. Strive for certifications and become qualified for what
you want to accomplish.
Concentrate on the basics
Do small things, but do them well. Don’t reach for perfection, just
implement change and focus on the basics. When you are just starting out,
you do not want to overwhelm yourself with elaborate or crafty goals that
are just out of your reach. This will come later.
Set small goals and complete them
Follow this routine in the beginning: Set a goal, accomplish it, celebrate
your success, and move on to something a little more difficult than the
previous goal. The goal within this step is to get in the habit of setting goals
and accomplishing them. Only over time will your goals get bigger and
bigger, but the trick is that you do it so gradually that, by the time you get to
your furthest goal you have been working towards, you won’t notice the
increasing difference in difficulty.
Continue working on your mind
Continue to stay on top of challenging those negative thoughts and
overthinking chatter in your mind. Continue to progress with positivity and
let go of the fears around uncertainty.
3. Step Three: Strive Forward Towards Success - Take Action
This is where you take action to complete every step before this one. This is
the step that sets you up for all your successes. You are done figuring out
your adventure here, you have completed your voyage quest, and now you
are ready to implement all the data you found along the way. Here is where
you take action for completing more difficult and prolonged goals. With
every accomplished goal, you get higher rewards and more fulfillment.
When you have reached your desired goal – such as maybe owning a large
property and being manager of a corporate business - you can celebrate all
your past achievements and be confident that you will succeed in anything
else you do because you have been doing it the whole time. Self-confidence
is not something you grow overnight, but something that, in a few years
from now (maybe even weeks or months), you can say you are more
confident today than the day you started this adventure.
Changing Your Relationships with People

Many times, the reason for our inner negativity is because of the people we
surround ourselves with. Overthinking is influenced by our decisions and
what our company tells us. It is time to make decisions for ourselves now
that we have learned how to be more confident in making these wiser
choices.
Here are some points on how to identify a negative person in your life:
• They are worry-warts;
• They are opinionated about your life;
• They are secretive;
• They view the world pessimistically;
• They are sensitive to your suggestions and anything you tell them;
• They are master complainers;
• They favor the word “but”;
• They don’t try hard to fix themselves or their lives;
• They make excuses;
• They suck your energy from you;
• They see the dark side of every positive thing;
• They are selfish.
Dealing with a Negative Person
Your happiness may be caused by the relationships you have and the
company you keep. When you’re dealing with negative people, your
positive vibes may start to decrease, and then you are back into the same
habits as you were before you grabbed this book. Humans are social
creatures, so it makes sense as to why so many of us are sponges to other’s
behaviors. While we try hard not to upset the ones we love, other times we
are unsure about if we did something wrong to upset them. Of course, not
everyone can get along, but we sure try.
Dealing with a negative person can be quite difficult, but here is the key
point to managing them: You cannot control them; you can only control
how you act as a result of being around them. If you can fix, mend, or
continue with this person by setting boundaries and being assertive, then do
so. If you can’t and every interaction with them seems to just drag you
down despite your efforts, then it is best to get rid of them entirely or
decrease how much you talk to them.
Here are a few healthy ways of dealing with negative or toxic relationships:
• Set positive boundaries
Negative people don’t recognize when they are being negative or even
consider anyone’s feelings as a result of their negativity. When you are
interacting with a toxic person, consider setting boundaries internally and
outwardly. Tell yourself that you will not allow them to make you feel bad.
If your mood or your thoughts start to change when being around this
person, you need to walk away. Kindly tell them that you will not engage in
this conversation if they cannot learn to be more positive, and then politely
walk away.
Another thing you can do is start the interaction. Be pumped and make
them feel positive before discussing anything with them. When you tell a
negative person to act positive, they feel judged, whereas if you act positive
and make them feel positivity, then your vibe can make them feel lighter
and they will return that positivity throughout your interaction. This may
result in closeness and less conflict.
• Question the worth of this friendship or relationship
You need to ask yourself a few questions about your relationships. Try
writing down all the people you know and want to know more. Then, ask
yourself: “Who is this person to me? What is my relationship like with
them? Are they negative? How often do you hang out just because, or is it
because they need something from you?” The answers to these questions
may seem surprising, or maybe not. However, the answers will help you
identify if the relationship is worth taking care of or if it may be best to just
walk away from them entirely.
• Don’t take it personally, even if it seems personal
Anything that a negative person says to you could be because they had a
bad day, they have their own opinions, they are judgmental, or they feel like
they are trying to help you by giving you advice. However, you should
determine their intent behind the advice they give and the way you feel
about your conversation. When they advise you to do something, is it
coming from the fact that they care deeply about your needs, or is it because
it is their opinion about what you should or shouldn’t do? A positive person
takes things that others say lightly because they are confident in themselves
to do what’s right for them. Regardless of their tone, pay more attention to
the words they are saying so that you can address the meaning behind them.
• Act, don’t react
When we look at the list we created, we may already have a sense of the
individuals who struggle with positivity. Knowing this already, the next
time you are faced with this individual, willfully create positive feelings
and don’t wait for an opportunity. Give them a compliment or boost their
spirits by telling them what you admire about them. This may give them
relief and set the ball rolling for what they can expect from you.
• Determine the reality of the relationship
Many times, we perceive things our own way and then try to get others to
think the way we do. We offer our advice and when they don’t take it, we
may feel disbelief, which can make us angry or unsettled. When addressing
a negative person, think about the reality of your relationship and their own
reality. Why are they negative? What can you do to help them be positive
and keep your sanity? This means that after you have done all that, you can
take a break. Take these negative people in short doses and change your
perspective about the reality of the bond. Start by telling yourself, “All I can
do for my friend is love them for who they are. I will help them when they
need it, but if they don’t want to accept change, then I need to do what is
best for myself as well as be understanding of their needs.”
• You are not a problem solver
The saying goes, “You cannot help someone who does not want to be
helped.” 1 Instead of wasting your energy to help a negative person if they
don’t want to make change, sometimes you may just have to accept this.
Overcoming excessive worrying is about letting go of what you cannot
control. So, when your negative company continues to be negative, remind
yourself that you are not their friend to solve their problems. You are their
friend because you choose to be there for them. If there is a time where you
need to walk away for good, then this is what you may need to do. Don’t
feel guilty.
Changing Your Relationship with Your Spouse
Aside from toxic negativity with the company you keep, having a toxic
spouse can be even worse for your negative thought-patterns. Relationships
are hard, and they take work, but a relationship is not always toxic because
both of you are unhealthy, sometimes it’s only one of you. A toxic person –
or spouse – may not know that they are toxic or negative because they are
too self-absorbed with their own needs, wants, frustrations, goals, and
interests to worry about yours.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself to identify if you are in an
unhealthy relationship:
• How do you feel when you are with this person?
• Do you feel safe when you are near this person?
• How does your spouse affect your children and your life?
• Do you feel emotionally stressed-out or exhausted when you are with
them?
• Are you more tense when you are with them?
• Is this person manipulative or deceitful?
• When you are with them, compared to when you are not, how do you feel?
• Is life more challenging than it needs to be when you are together?
• Do you find yourself changing for the needs of your spouse?
These answers can greatly challenge your thoughts and help you decide on
what you should do next. Most people stay in relationships because they are
gaining something out of their partner. This includes things like affection,
intimacy, money, power, children, what you have built together, love, and
the inability to see negative changes. We stay because we get stuck in the
thought that things will change, or if we do this, then this will happen.
Regardless of the reasons for staying, we need to sit with ourselves and
determine whether it is worth it for our health to stay or leave.
Changing Your Relationship for the Better
If you have chosen to give it another shot, then there are a few things that
you may not have done yet. If the following list doesn’t work out very well,
then professional therapy may be the better route to go. However, you need
to determine how much energy is healthy to put your efforts into because it
takes two to make a relationship healthy again. You both need to commit to
getting to know each other again (as people change over years) and spend
more time working on discipline, compromise, motivation, and desire. If
these aspects are gone, then there are ways you can get them back with the
power of positivity. Commit to doing something together everyday to
restore respect and love back into your relationship.
Here are a few tips to help get you back on track or “change” your existing
relationship:
1. Talk to your spouse
Telling your spouse exactly what you need, what the problem is, and then
coming together to fix these worries is crucial for staying on track. When
you have been with someone for a while, you start to know their habits,
their routine, and their way of life. However, we forget to discuss our
concerns which usually ends in arguing or disagreements. When you talk,
make sure to use calm voices and a low tone. Try not to nag about your
worries but use positivity all the way through.
2. Communicate with “I” statements
A lot of the time, we fall into “you” statements, such as, “You aren’t doing
enough,” or, “You make me do these things as retaliation.” One thing to get
clear is that your partner is never responsible for your thoughts or actions.
You think for yourself, and “you” statements can come off as blaming or
bullying. To avoid this hostility, practice “I” statements, such as, “I feel hurt
because…” or, “I am upset because…” When you tell your spouse how they
are making you feel, then in the same sentence, also tell them what they can
do to change it. For example, “I feel disrespected when you don’t call me
when you are out; next time, I would like it if you could give me a call and
answer my messages.”
3. Be consistent
Problems need to be talked about and then addressed with solutions. Once
you have created clear boundaries and new “rules” for your relationship,
stick to them. If your spouse has disrespected you, then remind them of
these conversations and ask them to remind you of the same if you fall off
track. Changing your relationship is a team effort and it will take work to
become healthy again.
4. Be who you are and the best version of self
You cannot focus on a relationship and the demanding needs it asks of you
if you are not managing your own wants, needs, and emotions. So, while
you practice all the techniques in this book, implement them into every
conversation so that you can be a happier, healthier you. Don’t settle for
less than what you know you can be, even when it comes to people you
love.
5. Spend needed time together
Relationships are not just about arguments and learning about each other as
we go; they’re more than that. Sure, you are going to bicker and have
disagreements, but the more you spend non-argumentative quality time
together the healthier your relationship can become, even in those dark
times. Quality time is about putting distractions away, like your phone, and
talking one-on-one with each other. Play a card game, sit in front of the fire,
or go for an evening stroll. Do things you have wanted to do and re-spark
your relationship by doing what you haven’t done in a while or reminiscing
about what happened when you first got together.
6. Touch is essential
Along with quality time, touch is also essential. It has been proven from
multiple studies that physical touch releases those endorphins needed to
make you happy. To welcome touch into your relationship, start by holding
their hand in public or brushing their shoulder or back when you pass by
them. The next step is to cuddle on the couch (without intercourse). The
power of physical touch without sexual intercourse speaks great lengths for
the positivity of any relationship. When the moment is right, go one step
further and make touching more sexual.
7. Learn the power of communication
Everything we do revolves around communication. When we argue, our
moods become sour; when we laugh, our moods become happier. The way
we talk, listen, and respond all has to with whether we will feel positive or
negative vibes at the end of our conversations. Sometimes, it’s better not to
say anything at all, and the sound of silence can speak volumes. Pick up
some communication books or talk to a professional and learn ways to
communicate with your spouse, and vice versa.
8. Stay true to yourself and your values
No matter who someone is, they should never make you second guess what
is most important to you. Write down a list of the absolute things that
cannot and will not be negotiable, and then the things that are “maybes.” On
this list, see what your core values are and make sure your spouse knows
that these things are important boundaries. This is how you can stay true to
yourself and know whether or not to walk away if they are
uncompromisable.
9. Listen to your partner
One thing you will learn in communication courses is that listening is half
the battle. When you listen to your partner’s needs and wants, listen with
your full attention. This means turn off all distractions, like music,
television, noises outside, etc. Make sure that when you have a conversation
you go somewhere quiet and it isn’t in the middle of a busy day. That way
you can hear and try to comprehend what your partner is telling you.
Listening is an effective and necessary step to communicate well.
10. Communicate your wants
Once you have identified where the relationship has fallen apart (or if it is
on its way), it is essential to communicate what you want to your spouse.
Ask for what they would like to see, and then tell them what you would like
to happen more. No one can read anyone’s mind, so communicating your
wants to your spouse can greatly improve your relationship. Maybe they
have been holding something in for a while, and if you are open to hearing
what they need to say non-judgmentally, then you can learn to understand
how to work together.
 STEP 7: SIMPLE DAILY PRACTICES TO OVERCOME
PROCRASTINATION

When talking about procrastination, everyone might relate to it because

there isn’t anyone who could deny it. At least, once or twice in your life,
procrastination would have played its role. Whenever you miss your
deadlines, the level of anxiety rises above your head and you are forced to
complete the project as soon as possible. But deep down, you know it is
impossible to complete because there is so much to do. Yet, you try!
Procrastination will make your life miserable, so try not to make it a habit.
Some people want to stop procrastinating, but they are unable to because
they don’t know how to do it. Or sometimes, they might be missing the
motivation they need. And it can be frustrating, I know. You must
understand the fact that procrastinating factors differ from one individual to
another:
A writer will procrastinate on the project he/she was assigned. And then,
he/she must work day and night to complete the project.
A student will delay school work and then, complete it at the last moment.
An athlete will delay medications because they are so concerned about the
current game.
If you evaluate each example above, you will understand that through
procrastination every individual mentioned in the example will be affected.
For instance, the athlete will have to deal with a lot of severe issues if
he/she doesn’t treat the injury right away. Likewise, there will be a lot of
emotional drawbacks as well.
I am going to share some of the practical daily practices that you can follow
to overcome procrastination. These practices will help you beat
procrastination even if you are feeling lazy or unmotivated. Before you
begin reading the practices below, you must bear in mind that you can
select any of them. This means you are not forced to perform all the habits
below. Let’s get started!
1. Find solutions to potential emergencies
Procrastination is not just simply a bad habit; rather it is a dangerous one. It
will have a huge impact on your health. Sometimes, you might even lose
the great bonds that you shared with your family members. They might
even come to a point where they assume that you no longer care. There will
be situations in life where you have to deal with unexpected priorities such
as death, sickness, and much more. Such situations can’t wait because you
will have to address them immediately. In such an instance, you would have
to drop all the scheduled tasks. Some other times, great family events might
turn into dreadful situations, and you can’t avoid them and get back to your
work. Emergencies don’t come with a warning, so you have to put up with
the obstacles they create. How can you avoid emergencies? Are you going
to stop everything and address the issue? Or if you have already delayed the
work and then, something urgent comes up, how are you planning to handle
it? What might happen when you ignore the emergencies?
To handle emergencies, you have to have a clear picture of the type of
emergencies that you are dealing with. You can think about the aftereffects
of avoiding the emergency. Or think about the people who are related to the
emergency, how will they feel if you ignore it? What are the actions that
you can take to solve this sudden issue so that you can get back to work? Or
can you put off the emergency issue because it is not life-threatening?
Before you dig in further, let me tell you. If you are working so hard that
you don’t even have time for your family, it means you are losing a lot of
good things in life, there is a lack of balance. You are not living your life —
this where the concept of smart working comes into the picture. You can
easily get busy and forget about the people around you. Or you can easily
put off emergencies that you believe are not important, and those
emergencies might actually turn into severe situations. Of course, you might
be so busy that you don’t even have time for important things, but it is all
about your priorities.
No project, appointment, or meeting is worth ignoring for the emergencies
that might affect the life of a loved one. I’d suggest stopping other things
when something urgent comes up because procrastination is not only about
work but also about life. If you address emergencies right away, you won’t
have to deal with the worst cases down the line.
Most of the time, we think procrastination is all about work and how we
delay work. But I hope I have pointed out something that you should also
consider.
If you organize work-related activities and complete them before the
deadline, or if you have completed half the work already, unexpected
priorities might not create a huge impact on your work life. What matters is
being organized and knowing how to prioritize your life matters.
2. Carry out daily reviews
Another excellent way to avoid procrastination is through daily reviews. If
you allocate ten minutes from your day, you can assess how things are
going. When you are doing the review, you will be able to find the priorities
of your day. Then, you can analyze the tasks that will have a huge impact
on your short-term goals. To make this review session simpler, consider
carrying out a Q&A format. What are the scheduled meetings that you need
to attend? Are there any emails that you must reply to today? Are there any
documents that need to be edited today? Are there any appointments that
will take more time than you allocated? What are the tasks that require
more attention?
Likewise, you should do a Q&A to find out the layout of the day. But you
don’t have to stick to the questions that I have mentioned. Instead, you can
prepare your own Q&A and follow it. If you do this daily review, you will
be able to understand the layout for the day. When you have your layout,
you will be able to stay on the track. You will have proper knowledge of the
tasks that need more time or a quick response. Hence, you will not
procrastinate because you are aware that it will impact your goals
negatively.
If you want to know one of the best concepts that beat procrastination, it is
the Pareto Principle. This is all about an 80/20 rule. Try to learn more about
this concept before you apply it to your day-to-day activities.
3. MIT's or the Most Important Tasks
It’s tough to beat procrastination if you begin your day with a to-do-list that
bursts with tasks. You must have a simplified to-do-list if you want to get
things done on time and correctly. How can you simplify your to-do-list? It
is pretty simple if you focus on MIT's - most important tasks. You have to
settle for the tasks that will have a considerable impact on your long-term
goals. This is recommended by many experts who focus on productivity.
My tips are to select the top three important tasks that need to be handled by
the end of the day. It is better to pick two important tasks that have tight
deadlines and another that will impact your long-term career goal. If you
keep an eye on MIT's concept, you will be able to curb procrastination.
Once you complete the two most important activities, you will be interested
in doing the other activities by the end of the day. And that motivation is
very much needed if you want to succeed in beating procrastination.
4. The Eisenhower Matrix
Who doesn’t like productivity? Who isn’t glad when things happen the way
they were planned. But sometimes, things don’t work as you planned. If
your life is anything like mine, filled with constant emergencies and
changes, you must have the ability to make quick decisions.
If you want to make a quick decision, you need the support from the
Eisenhower Matrix. The founder of this concept, Dwight Davis Eisenhower,
was a general in the army. It was the reason why he invented this concept.
It’s not always possible to work according to the plan when you are in an
army. There will be sudden and important changes. In such an instance, the
Eisenhower Matrix concept was the guideline.
If Eisenhower utilized this in the army, there is no reason why we can’t
utilize this in our lives to avoid procrastination! When you are dealing with
this concept, you shouldn’t forget the four quadrants related to it. By
focusing on the four quadrants, you will be able to approach your day-to-
day tasks accordingly. Let me mention the four quadrants in detail:
Quadrant 1: Urgent plus important
These are the tasks that need to be completed first because they are way
more important than any other tasks and they directly deal with your career
goals. Plus, you must complete the tasks right away because they are
urgent. If you complete these tasks, you will be able to avoid negative
consequences. Once you get your Q1 tasks completed, you will be able to
focus on other tasks. For example, if you have to submit a project by the
end of the day, your complete attention should be given to that project
because it is both urgent and important.
Quadrant 2: Important yet not urgent
The tasks under Q2 are important, but they are not urgent. Even though they
might have a huge impact, they are not as time-sensitive as Q1. Compare
Q2 to Q1, and then, you will understand the difference clearly. Typically,
Q2 tasks will include the ones that have a huge impact on your long-term
career or life goals. Yes, you need to allocate more time and attention to
these tasks. But you seldom do it because your mind knows that the tasks in
Q2 can wait.
Meanwhile, you’ll be focused on the tasks in other quadrants. Don’t make
this mistake because your long-term goals are the reasons why your short-
term goals exist. For example, your health is one of the important factors,
so if you don’t spend enough time on it, you will regret it. Yet, when you
get busy, you are unlikely to spend time on Q2 tasks. Especially, you are not
obliged to answer to anyone about Q2 tasks.
Quadrant 3: Urgent yet not important
The tasks under Q3 are urgent, but you don’t necessarily have to spend your
time on them. You can either automate or delegate tasks to someone who
can handle the work. These tasks are not so important, so it is okay to
delegate them. These tasks often come from a third party and the tasks
under Q3 will not have a direct influence on your career goals. But when
you are handling Q3 tasks, you must note down the tasks that you delegate.
For example, if you are working on a time-sensitive project and the phone
rings, you might get distracted answering it. Or sometimes, it might not
even be an important call. For such activities, you can assign someone.
Even if it’s an urgent call, you can still assign it to a person who can handle
it. Through this, you will be able to manage your day!
Quadrant 4: Not important plus not urgent
The tasks under Q4 include the tasks that need to be avoided. These tasks
waste your time unnecessarily. If you don’t spend ANY time on Q4 tasks,
you will be able to spend more time on the tasks under Q2. By now, you’ll
know what Q4 tasks consist of. Anyway, they are activities like watching
TV, surfing the Internet, playing games, and much more. So, should you
eliminate Q4? Well, no! You shouldn’t. If you don’t have a balanced
lifestyle, you might even struggle to protect your job. The tasks in Q4 will
help you whenever you take a 5-minute break or whenever you want to step
away from work. These tasks shouldn’t even be in your mind when you are
trying to be productive.
To apply the Eisenhower Matrix to your life, start by drawing a table on a
piece of paper or your journal. Then, divide the table into four columns and
seven rows. Divide the rows according to the days and add the quadrants to
the columns. When your table is ready, analyze your week. But don’t write
anything down yet. Before you start the day, think, analyze again and
allocate the tasks as per the matrix. If something else comes up, you must
take some time to analyze the nature of the task, and then classify it in the
right quadrant.
Once you complete all seven days, you can study the table and evaluate
your effectiveness and productivity. This will not be amazing when you try
it for the first time, but don’t give up. Keep trying, and eventually, you will
find yourself spending more time on the important and urgent tasks.
If you keep following this technique, you will be able to structure your day-
to-day tasks, and it will help your success become better and better!
5. Do it quickly
Sometimes you come across tasks that don’t need a lot of time, not even
five minutes, yet you delay it. For example, cleaning after having dinner,
sending an email, or even changing into your PJs (this is laziness). Even
though these tasks don’t take much time, you don’t do them because you
consider yourself too busy.
Your way of ignoring quick or minor tasks is by telling yourself you have
too much to do. But the problem is whenever you delay minor tasks, it
builds up into a pile, and you might have to deal with huge tasks at the end.
If you don’t act immediately, you will have a lot to do when you take days
off. Also, if you complete the minor tasks quickly, you will be able to avoid
them from accumulating into bigger tasks. There are two practices that you
should consider if you want to get minor tasks done.
The Two-Minute Rule is one of the practices that you must follow. If you
think that the task will only take two minutes or less, you can do it instead
of putting it off, can’t you? So whenever you come across any minor tasks,
think whether it will take longer to finish those. If they don’t, why not get
them done? Also, if you follow this habit throughout, you will feel that you
are removing a lot of negativity and you have more time to spend on
important tasks. Besides, you’ll feel that you are more organized and than
you have achieved more than before.
In contradiction, if you find tasks that will need more than five minutes, you
must schedule a time to do it.
The second practice is to single-handle all the possible tasks. Let me
describe an example, say that you’ve received an email and even though it
requires a reply, you delay answering it. But then, when you check it later,
you would have forgotten the details on the email itself and so you have to
go through the whole thing again. Instead of making this simple task a huge
pain, you can easily get it done. The concept of single handling helps you
complete the tasks. If you can see the end clearly, you must make the
necessary actions. For example, you can do the dishes right away instead of
putting it off for later. Likewise, there are many short tasks that you have to
complete immediately.
If you follow these concepts, you will be able to complete minor tasks
quickly and overcome procrastination. In fact, the stress that tags along with
procrastination can also be eliminated completely.
These are the simple practices that will help you beat procrastination. You
don’t have to worry or think badly about yourself just because you are a
procrastinator. We all have been procrastinators at some point in our lives.
Everyone can beat procrastination if they try! Now, you have many
practical tips that you can follow. You can utilize them and see if there are
any changes!
You are way more powerful than you think, so ONLY you can decide
whether to become a procrastinator or a productive individual!
 TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE (IF NOTHING HELPS)

This is a short chapter to summarize and implement what we have learned

in this book, aside from the conclusion. This chapter is a short guide to help
you for when you fall off track and need some assistance on those dark and
challenging days.
Get Back on Track
Let’s say you did everything, you practiced the techniques in this book, and
then out of nowhere everything seems to be falling apart. Your negative
thought-patterns came back, you have started to worry and overthink
everything again, and you just need a quick pick me up - Here is how to get
back on track in three easy steps:
1. Identify the problem, and find the root cause
Usually, when we try to do something new, our old habits try to sneak their
ways back into our lives, making it that much more difficult to continue
changing our habits. This is because we haven’t found the root of our
problem. Try to re-identify the root of the problem by addressing your
triggers. Here are some trigger examples that may be causing you to fall off
track:
• Stress from changes and relationships;
• Boredom from lack of progress;
• Chronic illness or injury;
• Change in environment, like moving or vacationing;
• Doing too much too soon.
To avoid your old habits creeping up on you, take some “me time” to figure
out what triggered you to fail in the first place. Don’t look at this as failure,
but as a chance to start again with more knowledge.
2. Restart the behavior by practicing your positive-habit training
Go back to the basics and remind yourself that overthinking is not going to
do anything but make you counterproductive. Don’t ignore your thoughts,
instead acknowledge them and practice mindfulness that they are there. Set
a worry schedule and write your worries down to deal with during this time
of worry. Practice meditation, and if you have been lacking, then dedicate
yourself to some exercise. By doing these things slowly, it will force your
brain to remember the habits you were trying to form and get you back on
track to challenging your thought-patterns. When you have this down pat
again, go back and make small goals and reward yourself when you
accomplish them.
3. Try a different approach
Not all methods of action work for everyone, so find a different approach
that suits you better. For example, if your worry time is right after dinner,
around 6pm, start your worry time before dinner, around 3pm. Or maybe
you woke up, started working out, then showered after that, but you fail
because you find you’re rushing your day due to this routine. So work out
just before you wind down for sleep. By finding a different approach, you
may just find something that works best with your schedule, then getting on
track will come easily.
Calm Anxiety (Worrying) in Five Minutes or Less
Anxiety and other mood disorders are common for enabling your old habits
to return to the surface. This is because our anxieties allow us to do what is
familiar and “safe.” Anxiety doesn’t like change and it will seem as though
you are constantly having to restart because you give into your anxieties
and fall back rather than shoot forward. The trick to overcoming this is
figuring out ways to calm down immediately. Here are ways to do just that:
1. Play the 5-5-5 game
The 5-5-5 game is a grounding technique. Look around the room and name
five things you can see. Close your eyes, take in a deep breath and name
five things you can hear. Keep your eyes closed, or re-open them, move five
body parts, and name them. (For example, move your wrists and say aloud
“wrist,” move your toes and say aloud “toes.”) Start again and do this as
many times as you can until you feel calm. Be completely in the present as
if you are seeing, hearing, and moving for the first time.
2. Do a quick exercise
Jump up and down, spin in circles, stretch, pace, move the muscles in your
face, wiggle every part of your body, dance, or any activity to get your body
moving.
Do anything you can do for exercise, maybe go for a light jog or a brisk
walk to change your surroundings.
Sometimes all your body needs is a little exercise to get past the initial
adrenaline rush of anxiety. While you are exercising, pay attention to the
weak feeling in your legs or the tingle in your fingertips. Move past this,
and this trains your brain to overcome these uncomfortable feelings
healthily.
3. Throw a cold cloth on your neck
By putting a cold cloth on your neck, holding an ice cube, or taking a cold
shower, you are shocking the anxiety out of your system. Sometimes all
your body needs is a quick shock to bring your attention away from the
anxiety or worried thoughts.
4. Eat a lemon or a banana
Taste buds are a quick way to shock your system too. Eating a lemon will
make your face scrunch and your body jolt, and so the worries or
overthinking which are causing the anxiety will instantly stop. Bananas
hold a ton of nutrients that will bring your sugar levels back to normal as
well. Sometimes you may just be having a sugar attack from high or low
sugar intake, so a banana will bring these levels back to normal, which will
make you feel calmer.
5. Question your anxiety
Take a minute before you panic to address your thoughts. Question them.
What is causing the anxiety? Which of the cognitive distortions do these
thoughts fall under? Are you underestimating your ability to handle this
right now? Is this a false alarm? What can you do about it? What is the
worst that can happen? When you stop to answer these questions in full,
you will notice that your mind doesn’t have the attention span to send
negative symptoms to your body and think about how to answer these
questions at the same time. This may make you feel calmer. When these
questions are answered, take a minute to focus on your breathing, sit down,
and be mindful of your breaths.
Quick Methods to Decrease Negative Thinking
On those days where your thought-patterns have drowned out all the
positive, and you find yourself falling into the mindless chatter surrounded
by negative thinking, follow these easy methods to get out of it quickly:
1. Cut it off
This technique requires you to act quickly. The second you realize you are
thinking negative thoughts, cut them off. Yell “STOP” inside your mind, or
even out loud. Don’t pay attention to the negative thinking, don’t argue,
defend yourself, or analyze it. Just cut it off as if it doesn’t exist.
Immediately think about something else or get up and do something else.
Find a distraction so that you are no longer listening to your negative
thoughts.
2. Label the thoughts
If cutting them off doesn’t work, then try labelling them. Acknowledge that
what you are thinking is negative, remind yourself that it is only a thought.
You can choose to pay attention to it or ignore it, either way you don’t have
to act on it as it is only a thought and it does not define your actions.
Negative thoughts only have power over you if you give them the control to
dictate your actions. It isn’t about how we challenge our thoughts, but how
we react to them. When we do nothing about them, we gain our control
back. So repeat to yourself, “This is only a negative thought, and I don’t
have to do anything about it.”
3. Exaggerate the thoughts
Another way to take control of your negative thinking is to simply
exaggerate the original thought. For example, imagine you are trying to
learn something, and you just don’t get it. You have been at it for hours and
you notice yourself thinking, “There is no point in trying, I am just stupid
and will never learn.” Acknowledge that this is negative, and then
exaggerate it outrageously and make it humorous. So say, “Yes; in fact, I
am so stupid that I couldn’t even screw in a lightbulb if I tried. And because
I am this dumb, everyone will notice, so they will laugh at me. After they
are finished laughing, I will give them a reason to laugh and start hopping
around like a kangaroo, yelling like a donkey, to the point where everyone,
including myself, will laugh. Then after that, I will show myself just how
silly stupid I can be.” Continue like this, using your imagination and being
as sarcastic as you can, not taking anything you purposely say personal.
When you do this, I bet you your mind will be quiet after this.
4. Counteract
This technique is the opposite of the last technique. When your mind says,
“I am so stupid,” say the exact opposite and nothing more. So that would
look like, “I am the smartest person in this room.” If your mind says, “I will
never be good enough,” then say, “I will always be good enough.” When
your mind says, “I’m too stupid to understand this stuff,” say, “I am too
smart to understand this stuff.” This works because when we think too
much about our negative thoughts, we usually fear ourselves acting them
out. And when we fear acting upon them, the fear usually comes true
because we end up doing what we try so hard not to do because we give it
too much attention. So when we say the opposite to our thoughts, we aren’t
really paying attention to them, rather we are forcing our minds to think
positively.
5. Enforce positive affirmations
For every negative thought, come up with two positive affirmations. So
when your mind says, “I am not good enough,” say, “ I am grateful to be
enough for the world today,” and, “It’s a good thing I am beautiful, because
this negative thought could really get the best of me if I let it.” The reason
we come up with two positive affirmations for every one negative thought
is to be more focused on positive thinking than negative thinking. Over the
course of your day, you may feel so good about yourself that you give
yourself credit for making yourself feel this way.
 CONCLUSION

I hope you enjoyed reading my book on how to stop mental chatter. The
techniques revolving around negative thinking, overthinking, and excessive
worrying have been thoroughly researched, and I promise all the
information in this book is completely true. The techniques that are given to
you to try throughout this book have been discussed and explained by many
professionals and tried by many people. They are effective and will work
when you put your mind, body, and soul into them.
My hopes for this point forward in your life is to continue to practice the
positive techniques and really develop the ways of avoiding negative
thinking and unreasonable worrying. The only advice I have left is, now
that you have finished reading, go back and highlight your favorite parts of
this book or fold the corner of the page so you can come back when you are
in need. That way, when you catch yourself falling backwards after trying to
take steps forward, you can easily go back to where in this book that helped
you the most and fix the problem.
Good luck in your future successes and stay healthy
Cheers!
 SOME BOOKS YOU MAY FIND INTERESTING

Stop People Pleasing

How to Start Saying No, Set Healthy Boundaries, and Express Yourself
Do you say yes to people so often,
you've forgotten how it feels to say
no?
You're not alone.
Many people spend years putting aside
their own wants and needs in order to
please the people in their life and avoid
conflict. Although there will always be
situations where diplomacy is
important, you cannot define your life
through other people.
There's a fine line between being
considerate of others, and
compromising your individuality, and
you can slip into living as a people-
pleaser without even realizing it.
Maybe you've been going through the routines of life feeling that you must
keep quiet, and take responsibility for the feelings of others.
Or, maybe you think it's more important to avoid "rocking the boat" than it
is to be your most authentic self.
While these habits might seem to dominate everything you do, there are
actionable steps you can take to create a new world--one where you are
open and confident in what you say and do.
Just like the relationships you have with others, everyone's experiences with
people-pleasing are unique. However, this individuality often stems from
common roots that are keeping you trapped in the box of others'
expectations.
By helping you identify the steps that will assist you the most, Chase Hill
shows it is possible to start changing, right here and right now.
In Stop People Pleasing, you will discover:
• How the fear of disappointing and upsetting others may be changing who
you are as a person that’s going undetected
• The  10 signs  that indicate people-pleasing characteristics, besides the
inability to say no
• Why understanding the roots of this habit will empower you to recognize
the situations where you're most likely to ignore your own needs, and act in
a more positive manner
• A step-by-step 14-day action plan to help you achieve instant and notable
improvements
• The 4 defense mechanisms specific to people pleasing, how to identify
them, and how to respond to them
• Multiple exercises and approaches to help you rediscover who you are at
heart, breaking free from feeling the need to seek validation from others
• Coping mechanisms designed to help you overcome discomfort or
frustration as you redefine the boundaries in your life
And much more.
If you believe it's impossible to finally stand up to your in-laws or be honest
with your friends, think again.
You deserve to make the choices that YOU want to make, and speak your
mind without fear or anxiety.
There's no quick fix for people-pleasing. Like most important things,
changing your patterns will take time.
With the right tools and techniques by your side, you will be able to hit the
ground running and be one step closer to living your life the way you want
to live it.
If you're ready to finally stand up for yourself and transform your life, then
click the «Buy now» button on this Amazon page to get the book
immediately.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08J3V311L

Assertiveness Training
How to Stand Up for Yourself, Boost Your Confidence, and Improve
Assertive Communication Skills
Stop being a pushover – it's time for you to be seen, be heard, and to
get what you deserve.
Have you spent the better portion of
your life physically and mentally
unable to strive for what you  really
want, passively riding the waves as
they come?
Are you constantly considerate of
others’ feelings, having made too many
compromises in the past that have left
you feeling unfulfilled and empty?
Do you feel as if you have been
walking in unfitted shoes for as long as
you can remember, never daring to ask
yourself the  most valuable and
fundamental question:
"What do I want for myself?"
You may currently be facing an
unsettling internal conflict, wondering how you can assert yourself and
express your  genuine  thoughts, needs, and opinions without being
aggressive or disliked by those around you.
Your generosity and kindness are indeed a double-edged sword – they may
feel like your weaknesses, but you need to realize that they are also two of
your most admirable strengths.
Only then will you be able to find real balance in your life.
Being assertive isn't synonymous with being aggressive or unfriendly – it is
very much possible to be confident and firm all while being  polite and
kind.
True assertiveness, rooted in a real inner  desire to build relationships
instead of destroying them, is a rare and precious commodity among
people nowadays.
The mere fact that you're striving for it shows off your undeniable strength
and ability to transform and evolve as a human being.
There's no reason to be held back by discomfort and fear anymore – with
the right training, your timid nature will undoubtedly subside, making room
for the assertive person you've always longed to be.
In Assertiveness Training, you will discover:
• How to recognize the  subtle behaviors  that have been hindering your
path to self-fulfillment, as well as ways to start transforming them into more
positive and self-affirming habits
• Scientifically proven  steps to practice self-awareness and emotional
control to avoid the most common emotional setbacks barricading the way
between you and your assertive self
• How to tackle the anxiety and fear that come from your first attempts at
being assertive, making assertiveness second nature
• A plethora of situation-based tips and tricks that will guide you through
the process of knowing exactly what to say and do to let people know that
you're not to be walked over
• Comprehensive guidance  on how to be assertive in your workplace to
finally get the recognition and respect you deserve
• How to find the right balance between passive and aggressive behavior to
gain genuine respect from others, untainted by pity or fear
• A step-by-step  action plan, taking you on a transformative journey
towards building more confidence that's rooted in a polite and kind contact
with the people around you
And much more.
Assertiveness is not a natural-born trait, but it is a skill that we all can
acquire with perseverance and the right kind of guidance.
It's time to stop living your life feeling like a vessel for others to use as they
wish.
Unlike what you may fear, being assertive isn't going to cause others any
pain or hatred. It will instead create healthy boundaries through which you
and your acquaintances can communicate more honestly and freely.
If you want to gain the respect and admiration of others for being who you
truly are, then click the link below and get your copy from Amazon!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08LZNNVLD

How to Stop Procrastinating

A Proven Guide to Overcome Procrastination, Cure Laziness &
Perfectionism, Using Simple 5-Minute Practices
Do you struggle with procrastination and laziness? Have no free time for
your loved one, your family, your friends? Think that you are missing your
life, limiting your potential? Feel overwhelmed and guilty about yourself
and beloved people?
If you want to stop it once and for all, then keep reading.
There is no counter argument whether
or not procrastination kills your
productivity. It indeed kills your
productivity. For example, if you have
been given a week to complete a
project, you must use it in the best way
to get your work done. Instead, you
may spend your time scrolling through
Facebook feeds, Instagram, Twitter, or
watching Netflix.
When you are nearing the deadline,
you might have to run a race to achieve
your goal, and it will have a huge black
spot on the quality.
Sometimes, by the time you understand
the influence caused by procrastination,
it will be too late to correct things. In
life, you have to seize the chances that
you get because it only takes a few seconds before it reaches another
person.
But I would like to share something interesting; some people get the work
done with quality even if they get it done in a short time due to
procrastinating. Yes, such people do exist, and we’ll discuss their habits and
tips in this book.
Yes, procrastination is more dangerous than many of us assume. However,
there are always solutions for all problems. Even for procrastination, you
have many practical solutions that can be practiced with perseverance and
diligence.
What you’ll learn:
• 27 Tactics to Beat Your Procrastination.
• Simple Daily Practices, Tools and Apps to Stop Procrastinating for Good.
• How to Cure Laziness and Break Lazy Habits.
• How to Deal with Perfectionism.
• 10 Tips and Tricks to Get Things Done in Less Time.
• One Powerful Technique to Get Everything That You Want in Life
Even if there are distractions, you must be able to focus on the important
things. If you know how to differentiate important tasks and trivial tasks,
you’d easily overcome procrastination.  
But the difficulty is in taming your mind. For this, we’ll discuss many
practical tips and exercises. So this book will help you make time for the
ones who actually need it.
Would You Like To Know More?
Download this book to get started, and stop procrastinating for good!
 REFERENCES

https://www.powerofpositivity.com/9-signs-trapped-mind/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-
dont-do/201602/6-tips-stop-overthinking
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/personality-disorders/what-is-
overthinking-disorder/
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-worry-and-
overthinking
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/obssessive-compulsive-disorder-
ocd.htm/
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-symptoms-and-
warning-signs.htm
https://universityhealthnews.com/daily/depression/what-causes-depression/
https://lifehacker.com/what-anxiety-actually-does-to-you-and-what-you-
can-do-a-1468128356
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/how-to-stop-worrying.htm/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-we-worry/201206/10-tips-
manage-your-worrying
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-
dont-do/201705/how-stop-worrying-about-things-you-cant-change
https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/10/01/stop-worrying-anxiety-
cycle_n_4002914.html
https://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2017/10/21/a-better-way-to-
deal-with-the-negative-thoughts-in-our-heads/#5f45785073e4
https://moodsmith.com/intrusive-thoughts/
https://elysesantilli.com/negative-thoughts/
https://www.powerofpositivity.com/negative-thinking-affects-your-brain/
https://www.brainmdhealth.com/blog/how-to-get-rid-of-harmful-toxins/
https://www.successconsciousness.com/mental-noise.htm
https://www.successconsciousness.com/index_000005.htm
https://blog.mindvalley.com/calm-your-mind-quiet-mental-chatter/
https://upliftconnect.com/how-to-reboot-your-brain/
https://community.uservoice.com/blog/analysis-paralysis-what-it-is-and-
how-to-avoid-it/
https://personalexcellence.co/blog/analysis-paralysis/
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/13-tips-to-face-your-fear-and-
enjoy-the-ride.html
https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/exposure-therapy
https://blog.mindvalley.com/the-power-of-positive-thinking/
https://www.briantracy.com/blog/personal-success/positive-attitude-happy-
people-positive-thinking/
https://buffer.com/resources/how-to-rewire-your-brains-for-positivity-and-
happiness
https://www.positivityblog.com/how-to-quickly-change-a-negative-mood-
into-a-positive-one/
https://www.success.com/7-practical-tips-to-achieve-a-positive-mindset/
https://www.sleepfoundation.org/insomnia/what-insomnia
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19973281/anxiety-sleep/
https://psychcentral.com/lib/12-ways-to-shut-off-your-brain-before-
bedtime/
https://www.webmd.com/women/guide/insomnia-tips
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/insomnia/expert-answers/
insomnia/faq-20057824
https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/problem-solving.html
https://www.fastcompany.com/90199653/5-ways-to-make-tough-decisions-
faster-and-not-regret-them-later
https://www.decision-making-solutions.com/decision-making-skills.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-confidence
https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/self-confidence-self-belief/
https://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html
https://www.theladders.com/career-advice/the-8-most-effective-ways-to-
get-back-on-track-after-you-messed-up-and-finally-stay-there
https://www.inc.com/melanie-curtin/9-ways-to-get-rid-of-anxiety-in-5-
minutes-or-less.html
https://www.learnmindpower.com/importance-of-eliminating-negative-
thinking/
 NOTES

Step 1: Identify Your Enemy and Reasons for Overthinking

1 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886902001204

Step 2: 10 Powerful Tactics to Stop Anxiety and Worrying Permanently

1 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_distortion

Step 3: Dealing with Negative Thoughts

1 https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapy-types/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy

Step 4: How to Control Overthinking and Eliminate Negative Thoughts

in Just a Few Minutes
1 https://community.uservoice.com/blog/analysis-paralysis-what-it-is-and-how-to-avoid-it/
2 https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/unknown_133991

Step 6: How to Declutter Your Mind and Become What You Want in
Life
1 https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/239957486371929425/?lp=true