The Hardships of Single Parents

Sarah Villa
Literature Review
ENGL 1311
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The Hardships of Single Parents

Abstract

Survey data shows that Americans have become more and more accepting of single-parent families

formed through divorce and non-marital child bearing since 1960. But knowledge of attitudes about

single-parent families is limited in terms of both time period and detail. Single-parent families can no

longer be viewed as nontraditional families. These families are all around us today. The U.S. Census5

Bureau reported that about 30 percent of American families are led by only one parent. Single-parent

households totaled over 12 million in the yearof 2000. As more single-parent families have appeared on

the American landscape, interest has grown as to what is the effect of these households on our

children's wellbeing. Over the past four decades, the patterns of family structure have changed intensely

in the United States. An increase in the numbers and proportion of children born outside of marriage

and a rise in divorce rates have contributed to an increase in the proportions of children growing up in

single-parent families since 1960. These changes have created considerably public concern and

controversy. particularly about the effects of these changes on the well-being of children. Over the past

20 years, a body of research has developed on how changes in patterns of family structure affect

children. Most researchers now agree that together these studies support the notion that, on average,

children do best when raised by their two married, biological parents who have low-confict

relationships.

Introdu
Juction

Single parents are effectively left with the task of sole parenting and all related roles and

responsibilities of raising children. Single parents are lone caretakers and sole supporters of the family. A

ingle parent has to cope with all the care givingE, nurturing. seling challenges,r (0s,
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The Hardships of Single Parents

obstacles and joys meant for a partnership of two. Being a single parent can be overwhelming and it is

extremely tough to bea single parent having no one to share the load of responsibility.

Personal circumstances, divorce, abandonment, and death of partner are some of the main reasons that

leave the main custodial responsibilities of raising children to a single parent. Few parents are really

prepared Tor dealing with the aftermath of the loss of a partner regardless or the cause. Feelings o

desperation, being overwhelimed and stressed out are very typical.

The positive negative effects single parenting and the Single parenting demands can seem like

insurmountable challenges on any gIven day. Here are a few guides single parenting to help you make

the transition into single parenting and to help you face the challenges single parenting brings.

1. What are some of the impacts for children in a single-parent home, what are the impacts for
h e paren

Researchers have several theories to explain why children growing up with single parents have a

noteworthy high risk of experiencing cognitive, social, and emotional problems. Most refer either to the

pconomic and parental resources available to children or to the stressful events and circumstances to

which these children must adapt.

For a variety of reasons documented elsewhere in this volume, most children living with single parents

are economically disadvantaged. It is difficult for poor single parents to afford the books, home

computers, and private lessons that make it easier for their children to succeed in school. Similarly, they

cannot afford clothes, shoes, cell phones, and other consumer goods that give their children status

among their peers. Moreover, many live in rundown neighborhoods with high crime rates, low-quality

schools, and few community services. Consistent with these observations, many studies have shown

that economic resources explain some of the differences in well-being between children with single
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The Hardships of Single Parents

parents and those with continuously married parent. Interviews with children reveal that losing contact

with fathers is one of the most painful outcomes of divorce.

Children also thrive when their parents have a cooperative co- parental relationship. When parents

agree on the rules and support one another's decisions, children learn that parental authority is not

arbitrary. Parental agreement also means that children are not subjected to inconsistent discipline when

they misbehave. Consistency between parents helps children to learn and internalize social norms and

moral values. Another benefit of a positve co-parental relatonship Is the madeling of interpersona

Skills, Sucrh as showing respect, communicating ciearty, and resolving disputes through negotiation and

compromise. Children who learn these skills by observing their parents have positive relationships with

peers and, later, with intimate partners. When children's parents live in separate households, however,

cooperative co-parenting is not thee norm. Although some parents remain locked in conflict for many

years, especially if a divorce is involved, most gradually disengage and communicate little with one

another. At best, most children living with single parents experience "parallel" parenting rather than

cooperative co-parenting

Children living with single parents are exposed to more stressful experiences and circumstances than are

children living with continuously married parents. Although scholars define stress in somewhat different

ways, most assume that it occurs when external demands exceed people's coping resources. This results

in feelings of emotional distress, a reduced capacity to function in school, work, and family roles, and an

increase in physiological indicators of arousal. Etonomic hardship, inept parenting, and loss of contact

with a parent (as noted earlier) can be stressful for children. Observing conflict and hostility between

resident and nonresident parents also is stressful. Conflict between nonresident parents appears to be

particularly harmful when children feel that they are caught in the middle, as when one parent

denigrates the other parent in front of the child, when children are asked to transmit critical or
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emotionally negative messages from one parent to the other, and when one parent attempts to recruit

the child as an ally against the other.54 Interparental conflict is a direct stressor for children, and it can

also interfere with their attachments to parents, resulting in feelings of emotional insecurity.

Moving is a difficult experience for many children, especially when it involves losing contact with

neighborhood friends. Moreover, moves that require changing schools can put children out of step with

their classmates in terms of the curriculum. Children with single parents move more frequently than

other children do, partly because of economic hardship (which forces parents to seek less expensive

accommodation in other areas) and partly because single parents form new romantic attachments (as

when a single mother marries and moves in with her new husband). Studies show that frequent moving

increases the risk of academic, behavioral, and emotional problems for children with single parents. For

many children, as noted, the addition of a stepparent to the household is a stresstul change. And when

remarriages end in divorce, children are exposed to yet more stre ssful transitions. Indeed, some studies

indicate that the number of transitions that children expe rience while growing up (including multiple

parental divorces, cohabitations, and remarriages) is a good predictor of their behavioral and emotional

problems as adolescents and young adults.

2. What are some of the difficulties single parent homes face, are there benefits to havinga

single parent home?

As mentioned before, single-parent families are very common in today's world. A single parent is a

parent with one or more children, who is not living with any of the children's other parents. The

percentage of children who live with two parents has been declining among all racial and ethnic

groups throughout the years. There are many statistics out there regarding this fast growing family

phenomenon. In the United States, 22 million children go home to one parent, and 83 percent of

those parents are moms. A single-mother home is much more common thana single-father home,
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however the amountof single tathers has grown by bu% in the last ten year alone. It has been

found that of all custodial parents, 85% were mothers and 15% were fathers. Also, half of all

children involved in one-parent households headed by the mother do not see their fathers ona

regular basis two years after the breakup of the family. Of children living with one parent: 38% lived

with a divorced parent; 35% with a never-married parent; 19% with a separated parent; 4% with a

widowed parent; and 4% with a parent whose spouse lived elsewhere because of business or some

other reason. A great deal is known about what a single-parent household is, as well as how the

single-parent household has evolved and developed throughout the years. It is because of this

knowledge that the effects of this type of household on children has been spotlighted and studied

greatly.

It has been found through varied research that children in single-parent homes generally fare worse

than those homes with two parents. Statistically, in the United States, family structure does

contribute to certain characteristics of a child's well-being. For example, there is a prevalence of

lower birthrates and higher death rates among infants when there is just one parent. Also, the

number of children ages 15-17 in school and in good health is much lower in this group of children,

and the number of children becoming pregnant at these ages is increasing. There are also signs that

children who have gone through a divorce may have problems with depression, emotional stress,

and difficuties in school. It has been found that adolescents from single-parent families were found

to be three times more hkely to be depressed than those living with two parents. Single parent

homes are also associated with criminal activity in the U.SA Children from a single-parent

household account for 72% of teenage murderers, 60% percent of people who commit rape crimes

and are eleven times more likely to exhibit vioent behavior. These statistics are astounding and the

problems that accompany single-parenthood appear volatile.

Problems found in the single-parent household may not be because of the parent who raised these

children, but can be linked to other things that are also related to single parenting. It has been

pointed out that when there is only one parent, the family is often less well off financially and thisis

the main reason for so many family problems. Reports show that the effects of coming from a low-

income family can include things like lower education levels, lower economic achievement and can

result in leaving the child feeling isolated and lonely. Being a single parent and struggling for money

often coincide. It is also true that children of oneparent households are generally less supervised,

their actions are less monitored and there is usually less communication between the child and

parent. It would appear that being a part of a single-parent household indicates a negative family

environment. It should be said however that many single-parent families find a balance and

successfully thrive in today's world.

3. Are there other forms of parenting outside of single parent homes, and two-parented homes?

he answers to these questions tend to reflect different and diverse patterns, often based upon

the level of income in the countries. For example, children iving with two parents tend to

xperience better educational outcomes Compared witn those living with one or no parents in

igh- and middle-income countries, although there are a number of exceptions to this finding.

The experiences of children in low-income countries appear to be much more diverse. In

particular, in these countries, living with one parent isn't necessarily a negative experience, and

appears to be associated with benefits for some children when it comes to education. However,

children who don't live with ether parent tend to have the worst educational outcomes (based

on the measures examined here) in all regions of the world. The results presented in this essay

provide a more comprehensive and global look at the link between family structure and

children's education than has been done in the past, although additional work is needed to
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The Hardships of Single Parents

continue to understand how and why families matter for children's education and other aspects

of child well-being

4. Which type of parenting do you think would be best for children?

Research has found that the best adjusted children, particulariy in terms of social competence, have

parents with an authoritative, moderate parenting style. These parents are able to balance clearly

stated, high demands with emotional responsiveness and respect for their child's autonomy. 5oth

authoritative parents have high expectations of their children and use control, but the overly strict

parent expects the child to unquestioningly accept parental judgments and allows the child little

freedom of expression. Children of overly strict pare nts are apt to be reliant on the voice of authority

and to be lacking in spontaneity. In contrast, the authoritative parent permits the child enough freedom

of expression so that he or she can develop a sense of independence. Permissive parents make few

demands and their children have been found to have difficulty controlling their impulses, and can be

immature and reluctant to accept

One example of the effect of parenting style on the development of children was published in the June

2006 issue of Pediatrics. A research team headed by Dr. Kyung E. Rhee, a pediatrician at Boston Medical

Center, analyzed data for 872 children colected by the National Institute of Child Health and Human

Development. They assessed the relationship between child-rearing style, assessed when the children

were 4 and a half years of age, and their weight status two years later.

By that time more than 11 percent of the children were overweight and an additional 15.4 percent were

Consiaereo at risk. Tne chidren of autnontarian mothers were neariy tive times 3s likely to be
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The Hardships of Single Parents

overwelght as those of authoritative mothers, and children of permissive or uninvolved parents were at

more than three times the risk. The researchers stated that an overly strict upbringing can have a

negative impact on weight because the children may fail to learn to eat on the basis of hunger and

satiety. In such families parents may use food as a reward, insist that children clean their plates, or

restrict the kind or amount of fooda child can eat

Conclusion

An important conclusion is that while the incidence of single-parent families and non

employment by parents contributes to high poverty rates for many children, this pattern does not hold

for families who have higher rates of employment and higher incidences of intact two-parent families,

yet remain in poverty. Policies for low-income families, such as those in national welfare reforms that

emphasize employment and stable marriage as primary routes out of poverty.

Sources

"Facts About Single Parent Families." Parents Without Partners. Parent Without Partners. 13 Mar. 2006.

Garis, Dalton. "Poverty, Single-Parent Households, and Youth At-Rsk Behavior: An Empirical Study.

Journal of Economic Issues 1998: 1079-1085.

Hetherington, E. Mavis. Coping with Divorce, Single Parenting. and Remarriage: A Risk and ResillencyY

Perspective. Mahwah: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Inc., 1999.

Lamb, Michael E. Parenting and Child Development in "Nontraditional" Families. Mahwah: Lawrence

Ertbaum Associates, 1998.

Thornton 1989; Thornton and Young-DeMarco 2001; Pagnini and Rindfuss 1993