WORLDS of SCIENCE FICTION

MARCH 1954

All Stories New and Complete

Editor: JAMES L. QUINN
Associate Editor: LARRY T. SHAW
Asst. Editor: THOR L. KROGH

Cover by Ken Fagg

Archaeolo{;ical Expedition to Earth, 15000 AD
SllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllJlllJ1111111I111111111111111111111111111111I111111111111111111111111111111111111ll1111111111111I1111111I111l;:

SHORT NOVEL
THE AMBASSADOR by Sam Merwin, Jr. 4

SHORT STORIES
WHEN THE MOUNTAIN· SHOOK by Robert Abernathy 46
ACT OF PASSION by Raymond E. Bonks 58
TIME FUZE by Randall Garrett 67
'MID PLEASURES AND PALACES
by James McKimmey, Jr. 71
TABBY by Winston Marks 80
THE WORLDS OF JOE SHANNON
by Fronk M. Robinson 89
TAPE JOCKEY by Tom Leahy 101
UNIFORM OF A MAN by Dove Dryfoos 106

FEATURES
A CHAT WITH THE EDITOR 2
PERSONALITIES IN SCIENCE 98
SCIENCE BRIEFS 118
COVER PICTORIAL: Highways of the Future
By Ed Valigursky
~11l1lJ1111111111111111111111111111111111ll1ll111ll11111111111111l111l11ll11IIIIIlIIllIIIIIIIIIIIllIIllIllIIllUlllllllllllllllfUIIIIIIIIlIIIIIII'1111111111111111II1II1I1l1~
IF' is published monthly by Quinn Publishing Company, Inc. Volume 3 No. I.
Copyright 1954 by Quinn Publisb~ng Co., Inc. Office o[ publication, 8 Lord Street,
Buffalo New York. Entered as Second Class Matter at Post Office, Buffalo New
York. Subscription $3.50 for 12 issues in U.S. and Possessions; Canada $4 for 12
issues; elsewhe"e $4.50. Allow four weeks for change o[ address. All stories appear-
ing in this magazine are fiction; any similarity to actual persons is coincidental.
Not responsible [or unsolicited artwork or manuscripts. 35<: a copy. Printed in U.S.A.
EDITORIAL AND BUSINESS OFFICES, KINGSTON, NEW YORK

Next issue on sale February 9th

 by sheer carelessness in the past and
won't be useful again for a long
time. Other sections are being en-
croached upon by industry, hous-
ing, damsites, bombsites, race
tracks, and plain old erosion.
It's improbable that man, stub-
born beast that he is, will just give
up and fade away. And we can't
look to colonization of or imports
from other planets just yet, al-
though the possibility of a lend-
lease arrangement with the rest of
the solar system remains an even-
tual possibility to anyone with scien-
tific imagination. We'll have to turn
to other sources of food right here
A CHAT WITH at home if we're going to survive.

THE EDITOR HYDROPONIC farming is one pos-

sibility that has been described fair-
ALGAE, as you probably know, ly frequently and will undoubtedly
are the lowest form of plant life. be helpful. Wider use of fish and
Often single-celled, they some- other denizens of the deep, which
times have leaflike and stemlike remains relatively unspoiled by hu-
parts, but no true leaves and stems. man hands and gratifyingly large,
Seaweed, kelp and similar aquatic is also on the list. Both of these, of
gunk are actually the cities, towns course, are modifications or exten-
and county fairs of algae. sions of familiar processes; the blue-
The time may come, and in the plate specials we get from them will
fairly near future at that, when be easily recognizable. Large econ-
you'll walk into a restaurant and omy-sized fruits, vegetables and
ask the waiter for an order of roast fish may become the rule, so that
algae, with a side of French fried one brussels sprout, a piece hacked
yeast. off a huge tomato, and a steak from
The reasons for this are many. a giant octopus will comprise a full
People don't multiply as fast as rab- meal-but the taste and appear-
bits, but they're beginning to get ance won't be otherwise alien.
the idea. The population of the Algae are something else again,
United States hit 160,000,000 and exactly what form they'll take
around the middle of last year, and by the time they reach your dinner
you can expect to be rubbing elbows table is unpredictable. But they're
with 190,000,000 in a couple of definitely on the way there.
decades. Arable land, on the other In the vanguard of this impor-
hand, is definitely going down the tant work is the Department of
drain. Much of it hai been ruined Plant Biology (located in Califor-
'2
nia) of the Carnegie Institute of This is highly significant, casting
Washington. This group has as it does a ray of hope that human-
studied the mechanism of photo- ity won't have to tighten its collec-
synthesis, by which plants use sun- tive belt quite so far after all. As
light for growth, with single-celled usual, of course, there's a joker in
algae as guinea pigs. They've been the deck-the high cost of algae.
considering the mass culture of al- Original investment in the equip-
gae as a potential food source since ment necessary to grow Chlarella
before Word War II. runs to over $30,000 per acre. And
Now the program has advanced even though one acre of culture
to the level of actual engineering should produce 25 to 35 tons of dry
studies. Under Carnegie's direction, product annually-which ought to
Arthur D. Little, Inc., a firm fa- provide for a fair-sized family even
mous in many branches of research, assuming that the in-laws drop in
engineering and technical econo- for Sunday dinner-the production
mics, has built and is operating a cost would be about two and one-
pilot plant on a larger scale than half times that of comparable vege-
was previously possible. Little's re- table products today. If we reach
searchers have concentrated on the stage where there just aren't
Chlarella pyrenaidasa, a well- any comparable vegetable products
known and easily available green to be had any more, this isn't likely
algae, and the results have been to deter us much, but that's taking
very hopeful indeed. the dim view all around. Actually,
In this pilot plant operation, there is good reason to hope that a
Chiarella and water were pumped substantial reduction in both ori-
through a transparent plastice tube, ginal cost and upkeep can be
whiCh exposed 600 square feet of brought about by use of a simpler
the stuff to sunlight at one time. system.
Inorganic salts were fed in as nu-
trients, and air enriched with car- RIGHT NOW, an interesting pro-
bon dioxide was also passed con- ject is going on in Japan, at the
tinuously through the tube. After Tokugawa Institute for Biological
this had gone on for three months, Research in Tokyo. Several food
the scientists found themselves with products fortified with Chlorella
a pile of 80 pounds of fresh, dry have been made, cooked, salted and
C hlarella on their hands and a peppered, and-yes!-eaten there
good deal of new and useful in- on a small scale. The Institute's
formation in their notebooks. news releases haven't mentioned
One of the most important dis- how Chiorella sandwiches taste
coveries was the nutritional value (and they add the reservation that
of dry Chlarella: it contains about the average Japanese diet contains
50 per cent protein, up to 20 per similar materials to begin with),
cent fats, and most of the natural but they do take a generally opti-
vitamins necessary to human mistic attitude. At the very least,
health! All of which makes it just ChIorella may be used within the
about equal to yeast as a food. (Continued on page 100)
3
 All Earth needed was a good stiff dose of common sense, but its
.rulers preferred to depend on the highly fallible computers in-
stead. As a consequence, interplanetary diplomatic relations
were somewhat strained-until a nimble-witted young man
from Mars came up with the answer to the "sixty-four dollar"
question.

THE
AMBASSADOR
By Sam Merwin, Jr.
Illustrated by Kelly Freas

Z ALEN LINDSAY stood on the

rostrum in the huge new United
Worlds auditorium on the shore of
of punctuation marks. Unspec-
tacled, he felt like a man from
Mars. He was a man from Mars-
Lake Pontchartrain and looked out first Martian Ambassador Plenipo-
at an ocean of eyeglasses. Individu- tentiary to .the Second United
ally they ranged in hue from the Worlds Congress.
rose-tinted spectacles of the Ameri- He wished he could see some of
cans to the dark brown of the Soviet the eyes behind the protective gog-
bloc. Their shapes and adornments gles, for he knew he was making
were legion: round, harlequin, dia- them blink.
mond, rhomboid, octagonal, square, He glanced down at the tele-
oval; rimless, gem-studded, horn- prompter in front of him-purely
rimmed, floral-rimmed, rimmed in to add effect to a pause, for he had
the cases of some of the lady repre- memorized his speech and was de-
sentatives with immense artificial liveringit without notes. On it was
eyelashes. printed: HEY, BOSS-DON'T
The total effeot, to Lindsay, was FORGET YOU GOT A DINNER
of looking at an immense page of DATE WITH THE SEC-GEN
printed matter composed entirely TONIGHT.
4
6 SAM MERWIN, JR.
Lindsay suppressed. a smile and feuds had been largely vitiated by
said, "In conclusion, I am qualified the increasing' rule of computer-
by the governors of Mars to prom- judgment-and Mars, the one set-
ise that if we receive another ship. tled alien planet on which no com-
ment of Briti~h hunting boots we puter had ever been built, were
shall destroy them immediately drifting dangerously apart.
upon unloading-and refuse cate- It was, Lindsay thought with a
gorically to ship further beryllium trace of grimness, the same ancient
to Earth. story of the mother country and
"On Mars we raise animals for her overseas colonies, the same
food, not for sport-we consider basic and seemingly inevitable
human beings as the only fit ath- trend, social and economic, that
letic competition for other humans had led to the revolt of North
-and we see small purpose in ex- America against England, three
pending our resources mining hundred years earlier.
beryllium or other metals for pay- On a far vaster and costlier scale,
ment that is worre than worthless. of course.
In short, we will not be a dumping Lindsay had been sent to Earth,
ground for Earth's surplus goods. I as his planet's first representative
thank you." at the new United Worlds Con-
The faint echo of his words came gress, to see that this trend was
back to him as he stepped down halted before it led to irrevocable
from the rostrum and walked slow- division. And not by allowing Mars
ly to his solitary seat in the other- to become a mere feeder and
wise empty section allotted to rep- dumping ground for the parent
resentatives of alien planets. Other- planet.
wise there was no sound in the huge Well, he had tossed a monkey
assemblage. wrench into the machinery of inter·
He felt a tremendous lift of ten- planetary sweetness and light, he
sion, the joyousness of a man who thought. Making his way slowly
has satisfied a lifelong yearning to out with the rest of the Congress,
toss a brick through a plate-glass he felt like the proverbial bull in
window and knows he will be ar- the china shop. The others, eyeing
rested for it and doesn't care. him inscrutably through their eye-
There was going to be hell to glasses and over their harness
pay-and Lindsay was honestly humps, drew aside to let him walk
looking forward to it. While Sec- through.
retary General Carlo Bergozza, his But all around him, in countless
dark-green spectacles resembling national tongues, he heard the
parenthesis marks on either side of whispers, the mutterings-"sending
his thin eagle beak, went through a gladiator" ... "looks like a vidar .
the motions of adjourning the Con- star" ... "too young for such grave
gress for forty-eight hours, Lindsay responsibility" ... "no understand-
considered his mission and its pur- ing of the basic sensitivities" ...
pose. Obviously, he had not won· a
.Earth-a planet whose age-old crushing vote of confidence.
THE AMBASSADOR 7

To HELL with them, all of

them, he thought as someone
tapped him on a shoulder. He
Computation stated firmly. His
nose wrinkled and seemed to turn
visibly pink at the nostril-edges. He
turned to find du Fresne, the North said, "Damn! I'm allergic to com-
American Minister of Computa- puter-ridicule." He reached for an
tion, peering up at him through evapochief, blew his nose.
spectacles that resembled twin "Sorry," said Lindsay, feeling the
scoops of strawberry ice-cream mild amazement that seemed to ac-
mounted in heavy white-metal company all his dealings with
nms. Earthfolk. "I wasn't-"
"I'd like a word with you," he "I doe you weren'd," du Fresne
said, speaking English rather than said thickly. "Bud de vurry zug-
Esperanto. Lindsay nodded polite- gedgeshun of ridicule dudz id." He
ly, thinking that du Fresne looked removed his strawberry ~pectacles,
rather like a Daumier judge with produced an eye-cup, removed and
his fashionable humped back and dried the contact lenses beneath.
long official robe of office. After he had replaced them his con-
Over a table in the twilight bar dition seemed improved.
du Fresne leaned toward him, Lindsay offered him a cigarette,
nearly upsetting his cola fizz with a which was refused, and selected
sleeve of his robe. one for himself. He said, "What
"M-mind you," he said, "this is happens if I pursue trend X?"
strictly unofficial, Lindsay, but I "You'll be assassinated," du
have your interests at heart. You're Fresne told him nervously. "And
following trend X." the results of such assassination
"Got me all nicely plotted out will be disastrous for both planets.
on your machine?" said Lindsay. Earth will have to go to war."
Du Fresne's sallow face went "Then why not ship us goods we
white at this pleasantry. As Min- can use?" Lindsay asked quietly.
ister of Computation his entire be- Du Fresne looked at him as de-
ing was wrapped up in the im- spairingly as his glasses would per-
mensely intricate calculators that mit. He said, "You just don't un-
forecast all decisions for the huge derstand. Why didn't your people
North American republic. Ob- send someone better attuned to our
viously battling anger, he said, problems?"
"Don't laugh at Elsac, Lindsay. It "Perhaps because they felt Mars
has never been wrong-it can't be would be better represented by
wrong." someone attuned to its own prob-
"I'm not laughing," said Lindsay lems," Lindsay told him. "Don't tell
quietly. "But no one has ever fed me your precious computers rec-
me to a computer. So how can you ommend murder and war."
know . . . ?" "They don't recommend any-
"We have fed it every possible thing," said du Fresne. "They
combination of circumstances based merely advise what will happen un-
upon all the facts of Terro-Mar- der given sets of conditions." .
tian interhistory," the Minister of "Perhaps if you used sensible
8 SAM MERWIN, JR.
judgment instead of machines to the handsome and the beautiful
make your decisions you could pre- among the great bulk of the less
vent my assassination," said Lind- favored, the intense feelings of
say, finishing his scotch on the inferiority such comely persons
rocks. "Who knows?" he added. aroused. It was from her computer-
"You might even be able to pre- psychiatry that the answer em-
vent an interplanetary war!" ployed had come: since everyone
When he left, du Fresne's nose cannot be beautiful, let all be ugly.
w~s again growing red and the This slogan had sparked the mass
Minister of Computation was fum- use of unneeded spectacles, the dis-
bling for another evapochief. tortion harnesses, the harmopan
makeup. Now, outside of emergen-
cies, it was as socially unacceptable

R IDING the escaramp to his of-

fice on the one-twentieth floor
of the UW building, Lindsay pon-
for a man or woman to reveal a
face uncovered in public as it had
been, centuries earlier, for a Mos-
dered the strange people of the lem odalisque to appear unveiled
mother planet among whom his as- in the bazaar.
signment was causing him to live. There were exceptions, of coUrse
One inch over six feet, he was not -aside from those who were nat·
outstandingly tall-but he felt tall urally ugly to begin with. Vidar-
among them, with their slump har- screen actors and actresses were
nesses and disfiguring spectacles permitted to reveal beauty when
and the women so hidden beneath their parts demanded it-which
their shapeless coveralls and har- was usually only in villains' roles.
mopan makeup. And among men, professional ath-
He was not unprepared for the letes were expected to show their
appearance of Earthfolk, of course, faces and bodies au naturel as a
but he had not yet adjusted to see- mark of their profession. Among
ing them constantly around him women the professional courtesans
in such large numbers. To him -the "models", not the two-credit
their deliberate distortion was as whores-displayed their charms on
,hocking as, he supposed wryly, his all occasions. Beauty was bad busi-
own unaltered naturalness was to ness for lower-caste prostitutes-it
them. made such clients they could pro-
There was still something illogi- mote feel too inferior.
cal about the cult of everyday ugli- These specialists, the models and
ness that had overtaken the moth- gladiators, were something of a race
er planet in the last two genera- apart, computer-picked in infancy
tions, under the guise of social and raised for their professions like
harmony. It dated back, of course, Japanese sumo wrestlers. They
to the great Dr. Ludmilla Hartwig, were scarcely expected to enter the
psychiatric synthesizer of the final more sensitive realms of the arts,
decades of the twentieth century. business affairs or government.
It was she who had correctly in- It was, Lindsay decided, a hell
terpreted the growing distrust of of a state of affairs.
THE AMBASSADOR 9

N INA BECKWITH, Lindsay's

Earth-assigned personal secre-
tary, was leaning far back in her
Lindsay, who had been thinking
wistfully that if Nina would only
do something about that hair, the
tilt-chair with her feet on the desk. thickness of her middle, and her
Her eyes were squinted behind bilious complexion, she might be
chartreuse-tinted flat-oval lenses to fairly good looking, blinked. He
avoid fumes from a cigarette stuck said, "Why in hell do you work for
in a comer of her wide mouth. She them then?"
had shut off the air-conditioner, She shrugged disinterested shoul-
opened the picture window and ders, told him, "It's a job." She
pulled the pants of her coverall far yawned, unabashed, added irrele-
up above her knees to let the warm vantly, "You know, boss, the trou-
New Orleans September air wash ble with you is you look like a
over her skin. gladiator. They won't take you
Lindsay looked at her legs with seriously unless you wear specs and
surprise-it had not occurred to a harness."
him that Nina owned such a long "Over my dead body," he ,told
and shapely pair. He whistled softly her. "What's wrong with athletes
through his teeth. anyway? I play damned good ten-
Nina removed her smoke, sighed nis when I get time to practice."
and made a move to stand up and "Athletes are lousy lovers," she
let her coverall fall back over the said. "Your correspondence is on
exposed limbs. Lindsay said, "Not your desk." She nodded toward it.
on my account-please! Those are "Get it signed, will you? I've got a
the first good looking legs I've seen dinner date."
since leaving Mars." Lindsay restrained an impulse to
"Watch yourself, boss," said Nina ask her with what and signed the
and indulged in a slow half-smile. letters dutifully.
Then, putting her feet back on the Nina was a spy, of course, or she
floor, "You certainly lost a lot of wouldn't have the job. In view of
friends and disinfluenced a lot of his own assignment and the deli-
people down there today. If you'd cacy of Terro-Martian relations at
prepared your speech on the ma- the moment, :>he must be a good
chine I'd have fixed it up for you." one.
"Which is exactly why I pre- He handed her the letters, noted
pared it in my hot little head," the slight sway of her thick body
Lindsay told her. "I wanted to as she walked toward the dispatch-
knock some sense into them." chute. A pity, he thought, that the
Nina got out of her chair and rest of her failed to match the long
snuffed out her cigarette in the dis- perfect legs she had so unex-
posal tray, then sat on the edge of pectedly put on display.
the desk and poked at the untidy "Oh, Miss Beckwith," he called
dark-blonde hair she wore in a knot after her. "You don't have to list
on top of her head. She said, my appointments on the tele-
"Night soil! You'll never knock any prompter when I'm making a
sense into that mob." speech after this." .
'"".'l';b"= - .~.r ""'-:a.-:.ao.~.~.l
10 SAM MERWIN, JR.
She stopped, cast him an oblique me, but I want to see what our dis-
glance over one shoulder and said tinguished visitor really looks like.
without much interest, "I didn't After all, he can see us as we are."
know whevher you'd get back here Secretary General Bergozza
or not-and it wouldn't do to for- looked briefly shocked. Then his
get the Secretary General." overpowering courtesy came to his
"All right," he said in resignation. rescue and he laid aside his own
When she had gone he wondered dark green spectacles. He said,
if he should have told her what "You know, Lindsay, you remind
du Fresne had said about his pos- me a little of an American am-
sible assassination, decided it was bassador to the Court of Saint
just as well he had kept mum. He James a hundred and fifty years
went. up on the roof for a copter. ago-I believe his name was Har-
vey. He refused to wear knee-
britches to his own reception.

T HE DINNER was informal.

Lindsay and Fernando Ander-
son, the flamboyant junior senator
Other times, other customs."
"I'm sorry if my appearance is
bothering people," said Lindsay,
from New Mexico, were the only noting that Maria, without her
guests. They were four at the glasses, came close to being a truly
charming ante bellum mahogany pretty young woman. "I'm not try-
table of the Secretary General's ing to disturb them-I merely want
Natchez mansion. Carlo Bergozza, them to see me as a true represen-
the Secretary General himself- tative of my own world."
courteous, with natural as well as Maria said impulsively, "It isn't
harness-stooped shoulders, a trifle that you bother us-not really. It's
vague-and his daughter and offi- just that you're a little too good
cial hostess, Maria-vividly bru- looking. Almost like a gladiator.
nette and dynamic despite the People aren't used to it in a states-
twist given her body by her harness man. "
and the mask of hu'ge triangular "Too good looking-with this
speCtacles-made up the rest of the busted beak of mine?" Lindsay
party. pressed a finger against his nose,
The meal was simple, automati- which had been broken in youth
cally served, well prcpared. It con- by a wild pitch.
sisted of plankton soup with chives Senator Anderson said, "The
in chilled bowls, noisettes of lamb slight irregularity of your nose is
with yeast-truffles and bamboo- just enough to keep you from be-
grass and, in deference to Lindsay, ing too pretty, Lindsay." He smiled
a dessert of Martian lichenberries. and added, "You certainly stirred
Conversation consisted of routine up a cyclotron with your speech
gambits and responses until the this afternoon. The British are
dessert. planning a white paper."
Then Senator Anderson removed "I merely stated facts as I know
his diamond-shaped raspberry them," said Lindsay.
glasses and said, "You'll pardon "They aren't used to facts-not
THE AMBASSADOR 11
unless they have been computer- of apartment and small-house life.
processed," said the senator. He Actual lavatory plumbing was con-
seemed pleased for some reason, cealed, in this instance, by an
added, "You may have broken etched glass screen. Otherwise the
some real ice, Lindsay. I've been room featured comfortable plastic
trying for years to work out a way lounge chairs and sofas around a
to tell people computers are rob- fifteen-foot sunken tub and a small
bing them of all powers of deci- semicircular bar, fully equipped.
.
S1On. " On entering Maria unfastened
"All they have to do is confine her harness and coverall and stood
them to mathematical problems before them, a sweet-bodied dark-
and let people decide human ones," eyed girl in her early twenties, clad
said Lindsay. in shorts and halter. "Lord!" she
The Secretary General cleared exclaimed, pushing dark hair back
his throat. He said, "Without the from her broad low forehead, "It
computers there would be no feels good to relax. Zalen, I want
United Worlds. There would be no to talk to you."
world at all, probably." "Delighted," said Lindsay, mild-
I t was a rebuke. Carlo Bergozza ly surprised at the use of his Mar-
redonned his spectacles and rose tian first name.
from the table. He said, "If you'll "I've got something to tell him
excuse me I have some business to first," said Anderson, unhitching
attend to. I'm sure my daughter his own harness and emerging as a
will see that you are properly en- lean medium-sized man in good
tertained." He left the room with condition for his forty years. "I got
slow, old-man steps. word just before I flew up here to-
Maria said fondly, "Poor darling, night that your life may be in dan-
he gets so upset. He'll take a pill ger, Zalen."
and go to sleep. Let's go to the
bathroom, shall we?"

T HOUGH outwardly the Secre-

tary General's mansion was hy-
L INDSAY accepted the arrack-
fizz Maria handed him, said
"That makes warning number two,
per-gingerbread steamboat Gothic, Senator. Du Fresne talked to me
inwardly it was entirely modern in about it this afternoon."
plan. There was a living room, of Maria paled visibly. She said,
course, for formal receptions, but "It sounds impossible!"
as in all normal Earth-dwellings of "It backs up the judgment of my
the period the bathroom was the own group," said Senator Ander-
lived-in chamber. son. "Du Fresne is just about the
There and there only did people smartest computerman we have."
of the 2070's permit themselves to He eyed Lindsay speculatively,
relax. This was a logical develop- added, "You don't seem much im-
ment of latter-day plumbing and pressed by your danger, Zalen."
air conditioning and the crowding "How can I be?" Lindsay coun-
12 SAM MERWIN/ JR.
teredo "After all, Earth is supposed ing of the sort-they can thrive
to be much further advanced than only with a mercantile capitalism
Mars in civilization. And we have under a nominal constitutional
had no political murder on Mars in monarchy."
more than fifty years." "In that case I still don't see-"
Maria made a despairing gesture. Lindsay began.
"Oh, dear!" she exclaimed. "You "Contrary to what you're think-
don't understand, Zalen. On Mars ing, their leaders are not villains,"
you have both room and time to Anderson told him. "They are men
settle your political conflicts. And and women obsessed with an ideal
you don't have computers." that has hampered them for almost
"We have some pretty sharp two centuries. And they are incap-
rows," Lindsay told her. "But we able of accepting any conclusion
don't have anyone assassinated." counter to their ideals."
He paused, looked at them both, "Even to impoverishing an entire
added, "Do you have many of them planet?" Lindsay asked.
here ?" Anderson shrugged. "A penalty
"Not many," said Anderson. of their insularity," he replied.
"But there is a growing tendency "The reason for this little meeting,
to go along with computer verdicts, Zalen, is to explain that not all of
no matter how extreme." us are in favor of supporting Brit-
"And you believe the British ain and its absurd production bun-
computers are giving accurate an- gling at the expense of Mars. A
swers when they recommend the few of us are becoming .singularly
dumping of millions of pairs of fed up with the computer neurosis
utterly useless hunting boots on that seems to have this planet in
Mars? Or those rubber shower cur- its grip."
tains they unloaded on us two years Maria leaned forward, her dark
ago?" eyes brilliant in their intensity. She
The Senator said, "There is, un- said, "Can't you see, Zalen, that is
fortunately, no question as to the why we are so concerned with your
accuracy of computer answers. The possible assassination? We fear the
trouble seems to lie in some special whole of Earth is on the lip of a
condition, local to Britain, that nervous breakdown. Unless the grip
effects computers." of the computers is broken any-
"But if the British computers are thing might happen. And we're
wrong, why doesn't somebody do counting on you, with your fresh
something about it?" Lindsay viewpoint and prestige, to help us."
asked. "I was hoping you might be con-
Anderson said, "If it were that cerned about me," said Lindsay
simple, Zalen . . ." His smile was softly. "After all, I'm the one who
rueful. "Unfortunately our English is supposed to be killed." He
friends-or their rulers at any rate watched a sudden flush of embar-
-are determined that socialism is rassment add charming brilliance
the only government suitable to to the vividness of the Secretary
their country. Actually it is noth- General's daughter.
THE AMBASSADOR 13
"Of course we're concerned," The scientists and symbolic logi-
she said defensively. "We're not cians who feed and tend the com-
really monsters, Zalen." puters will actually be running the
"What Maria means," said An- country. And the world."
derson swiftly, "is that if the worst "And just where do I come into
should happen it will go a long way this?" Lindsay asked.
toward making Earth entirely com- "You, Zalen, are the last repre-
puter-dependent, if du Fresne's sentative of the last sizeable and
prophecy is fulfilled a lot of people important human organism that is
who might go on fighting will sim- not dependent upon computer
ply give up." judgment," said Anderson. "That's
"J ust what is your stake in this, our side of it. From your own side
Senator?" Lindsay asked. -if you already distrust computer
decisions, as in the case of the Brit-
ish hunting boots-you surely don't

A NDERSON said, "I could give

give you a score of 'good' rea-
sons, Zalen. But my real reason is
want to see them in full control."
"Hardly," said Lindsay. "But at
the same time I have no desire to
this-I'm damned if I want to see be assassinated or to be the cause
professional politicians become rub- of an Earth-Mars war."
ber-stamps to a computer. When "Think it over, Zalen," said An-
Sylac was first used officially three derson. "I need hardly tell you
decades ago, it looked as if it might that I am not speaking for myself
be a help. All we had to do was alone." He got up, put down his
palm off all unpopular decisions on glass, bade Maria farewell and left
the machine. the Martian alone with her.
"Elsac, however, has proved to When he had gone Lindsay
be something else," he went on. "It looked at the girl, who returned his
is making too damned many of our gaze quite openly for a long mo-
decisions for us-and thanks to our ment before her eyes fell away. He
having set Sylac up as a master- said, "Somehow the senator and
brain god we can't controvert its you seem an odd combination."
judgment. When President Giovan- She made no pretense of misun-
nini gets his new Giac computer derstanding but said candidly,
working we might as well shut up "Perhaps I am neurotic in my dis-
shop. And the announcement that trust of computers but I cannot
Giac is in operation may come at help that. Those of us who have
any time now." any true sensitivity unblunted by
Lindsay studied him, then said, the psycho-mechanistics of the era
"Your real complaint then, Fer- all share this distrust. It is natural,
nando, is that the computers de- since we are few and weak, that we
prive you of patronage and power." should seek what allies we can find
"That's about it," said the sena- among the strong."
tor from New Mexico. We'll be re- "I've always heard that politics
duced to the level of the political makes strange bedfellows," said
commissars of the Soviet nations. Lindsay casually.
 14 SAM MERWIN, JR.
It was obvious that he had com- allowed to date gladiators, of
mitted a faux pas. Maria's blush course. You're the only man I've
returned and her expression froze. ever been with who was not afraid
Lindsay cursed himself for a fool. to look as he is."
With the development of all sorts "You'd better come to Mars," he
of pneumatic resting devices the suggested, shying away a little from
word bed had become not only ob- the high voltage the Secretary Gen-
solete but definitely distasteful in eral's daughter seemed to be gen-
well-bred Tellurian circles. Its use erating. "I can assure you you'd
was as decried as was that of the have a chance to reveal the charms
word bloody in Victorian England. nature gave you without sham'e."
She said angrily, "I assure you, She laughed with a sudden
Mr. Lindsay, that Senator Ander- change of spirits. "It's at least a
son and I have never..." Voice and half hour since dinner. Let's take
anger faded alike as she apparently a dip." She tossed back her lustrous
realized that Lindsay had not in- dark hair with a shake of her head
tended insult. and her hands went to the clasp
He let her mix a second drink for of her halter, a moment later, to
both of them. Then, standing close that of her shorts. "Come on," she
. to her and noting the smooth per- called, extending her arms to ex-
fection of her creamy white skin, pose her exciting young body be-
"I wonder if your father knows that fore him. "The water will cool us
he is nourishing a subversive in his off."
family." It didn't work out that way, of
She said with a trace of impa- course. Lindsay was barely in the
tience, "Oh, poor papa never sees tub-pool before Maria's arms were
the trees for the forest." about his neck, her body close
"You're a damned unhappy girl, against his, her lips thrusting up-
aren't you?" he asked her. He ward toward his own. For a mo-
didn't need an answer, but real- ment he felt panic, said, "Hey!
ized she wanted to talk about it. What if somebody comes? Your fa-
She said, her eyes shining suspi- ther-"
ciously, "You're right, of course, "Silly! Nobody will," she re-
I'm very unhappy-constricted in plied, laughing softly.
behavior by my father's position, His last rational thought for
unable to say aloud what I really quite awhile was, Oh well-I'm
think, how I really feel. Somtimes hardly in a position to get the Sec-
I think I must be living in some retary General's daughter angry.
Gothic poet's dream of loneliness."
"Contrary to the beliefs of most
psychiatrists," said Lindsay, half- ALSE DAWN was spreading
touched, half-appalled by Maria's
intensity, "we are all of us alone."
F . its dim fanlight over the east-
ern horizon as he coptered back to
"Somehow I knew you'd under- his official quarters in the city. Try-
stand!" she exclaimed, without tak- ing to restore some order to
ing her dark eyes from his. "I'm not thoughts and emotions thoroughly
THE AMBASSADOR 15
disrupted by the unexpected events nerable to attack.
of the evening, he wondered a lit- But war between the planets
tle just what he had got himself would be destructive of far more
into. than cities and the people that lived
Mars, of course, was scarcely a in them. It would mean inevitably
Puritan planet, populated as it was a breakdown of the entire fabric of
by the hardiest and most adventur- civilized humanity-a tenuous fab-
ous members of the human race, of ric, true, but all that existed to
all races. But there had been some- maintain man.
thing almost psychopathic about And an isolated Mars, even if
Maria's passion. It had been far too self-sufficient, would be a sorry sub-
intense to have been generated stitute for a red planet that was
solely through regard for him. part of the United Worlds. It
The girl had made love to him would mean a setback of genera-
simply to relieve her own inner ten- tions, perhaps centuries.
sions, he thought wryly. Lacking a He began to feel a new under-
man she could love, walled in by standing of the importance of his
the high officialdom of her father's mission. With understanding came
lofty position, she had turned to something akin to fear lest he
him in the same way she turned to should not be able to accomplish it
the anti-computer movement-as a without disaster. It was going to
way of feeling less lonely for a be his job to inaugurate some sort
while. Still, it had been sweet-if of therapy for Earth's illness. It
a little frightening in retrospect. was, in effect, one man against a
And it had been a little decadent planet.
too. Considering the men and wom-
With the copter on autopilot he en with whom he had talked that
lit a cigarette and forced his day he was unable to take the assas-
thoughts away from the girl. He sination threat too seriously. Some-
wondered if the Governors of Mars how these neurotics and warped
were sufficiently in key with the zealots, with their allergies and dis-
current feelings of EarthfoIk to un- tortion kits, seemed unlikely to un-
derstand fully how deep the reper- dertake or carry through any such
cussions from his speech might go. drastic action. Their very inhibi-
He wondered if they had consid- tions would forbid it.
ered fully the possibility of inter- Not that Maria had been exactly
planetary war. inhibited. Damn! The girl refused
True, Mars was undoubtedly to stay out of his thoughts. He re-
better equipped to defend itself called what she had told him of
against such attack than was her conspiracy against the comput-
Earth. Like the mother planet it ers, of its aims and methods. And
had its share of robot rockets capa- again he smiled wryly to himself.
ble of launching a counterattack. They were like spoiled children,
And thanks to the comparative he thought. A little group of over-
sparseness and decentralization of intense young men and women,
its population it was far less vul- neurotic, excitable, unstable, meet-
16 SAM MERWIN, JR.
ing in one another's houses or in Worlds capital would have been
expensive cafes, plotting little coups impossible.
that never quite came off. Lindsay wondered how any peo-
From certain unguarded phrases ple possessed of a planet so rich
Mana had dropped during the less could be afflicted with such poverty
frenetic periods of their evening to- of soul. Or was this very opulence
geth~r, he g?therelPl that their cur- the cause? His own planet was
rent aim was actual physical sabo- comparatively poor-yet nervous
tage of Giac, the mightiest of all breakdowns were few and far
computers about to be unveiled, between. There the ugly strove for
before it went into work. beauty, instead of the reverse.
They didn't even realize, he He parked the copter on the ga-
thought, that sabotage would avail rage-plat, pressed the button, and
them nothing in the long run-or watched it sink slowly out of sight
the short either. Destruction of the to its concealed hangar. Like all
computers would not cure Earth. Martian natives to leave for Earth,
It might easily increase the reliance he had been warned about the in-
of Earthfolk upon their cybernetic tense heat and humidity that as-
monsters. What was needed to ef- sailed most of the mother planet,
fect a cure was destruction of hu- especially in the UW capital. Yet
man confidence in and reliance the night breeze felt pleasantly cool
upon these machines. against his face and its thickness
And how in hell, he wondered, was like the brush of invisible vel-
was he going to manage that? vet against his skin. Perhaps, he
thought, he was more of an Earth-
ling than three generations of Mar-
To A MAN from level, water-
starved Mars the sight of New
Orleans still ablaze with lights at
tian heredity made likely.
He did miss the incredible bril-
liance of the Martian night skies.
five o'clock in the morning was Here on Earth the stars shone as
something of a miracle. Mars had puny things through the heavy at-
its. share of atomic power-plants, of mosphere.
course, but such sources had proved But, he thought guiltily, he did
almost prohibitively costly as pro- not have as severe a pang of home-
viders of cheap power. sickness as he ought.
That was true on Earth too, of In a state of self-bemusement he
course, but Earth had its rivers, its rode the elevator down to his suite
waterfalls, its ocean tides to help on the ninety-first story. And was
out. More important, it averaged utterly unprepared for the assault
some fifty million miles closer to which all but bore him to the floor
the Sun, thus giving it immense as he stepped out into his own
storage supplies of solar heat for foyer.
power. Without these resources the Since the attack came from be-
thousand-square-mile expanse of hind and his assailant's first move
intricately criss-crossed artificial was to toss a bag over his head,
lighting that was the United Lindsay had no idea of what the
THE AMBASSADOR 17

would-be assassin looked like. For a He said, "Get me some gin, will
moment he could only struggle you?"
blindly to retain his balance, ex- Lindsay returned the whiskey to
pecting every instant to feel the its place, got the requested liquor,
quick searing heat of a blaster burn offered some neat to the tennis
through his back. player in a glass. O'Ryan downed
But no heat came, nor did the it, shuddered, looked at Lindsay
chill of a dagger. Instead he felt curiously. He said, "What went
his attacker's strong hands encircle wrong? You're supposed to be
his neck in a judo grip. dead."
This was something Lindsay un- Lindsay shrugged and said, "I.
derstood. He thrust both his own know some judo too. You weren't
hands up and backward, getting quite fast enough, Pat."
inside the assassin's grip and break- O'Ryan moaned again, reached
ing it. His thumbnails dug into for the bottle. Then he said, "I
nerve cente=-s and he bent an arm remember now. Thank God you got
sharply. There was a gasp of agony my right arm-I'm left-handed."
and he felt a large body crumple "I know," Lindsay told him
under the pressure. laconically.
The would-be assassin looked
frightened. He said, "How do you
know?"
INDSAY'S first impulse was
L to summon the constabulary.
His second, after examining the
"I play a little tennis myself,"
Lindsay told him. "How come they
sent a man like you on such a mis-
face of his would-be slayer, was to sion?"
drag the man into the shelter of "Top gladiator~top assign-
his apartment, revive him and ment," said the athlete. "\Ve're sup-
seek to learn what he could about posed to do something besides play
the attempt. games for our keep."
To his astonishment he discov- "That's a wrinkle in the social
ered that he knew the man. His setup I didn't know about," said
assigned murderer was long, red- Lindsay. "Mind telling me who sent
headed Pat O'Ryan rated as a top you?"
gladiator, a tennis and squash "Not at all. It was my sponsors,
champion whose reputation was al- the New Hibernian A.C." He
most as widespread among sporting frowned. "According to the com-
fans on Mars as on Earth. Lindsay puters I was in. There's going to be
had remodeled his own backhand, hell to pay over my muffing it."
just the year before, upon that of "How do you feel about that?"
the man sent to kill him. the Martian asked him.
He got some whiskey from the O'Ryan shrugged. "It's okay by
serving bar beside the vidal' screen, me," he said. "They can hardly de-
poured a little of it between the un- grade me for fouling up this kind of
conscious killer's lips. O'Ryan sput- a job. I'll simply tell them their in-
tered and sat up slowly, blinking. formation was incomplete. No one
18 SAM MERWIN, JR.
knew you knew judo." He eyed the with amazement. Then it occurred
gin, added, "A good thing you to him that computers were sub-
didn't feed me whiskey. I'm allergic stituting not only for human judg-
to all grain products-even in al- ment but for human conscience as
cohol. Comes from being fed too well. And this, he felt certain, was
much McCann's Irish oatmeal important.
when I was a kid." Turning in on his contour couch,
"Interesting," said Lindsay, won- Lindsay recalled that he had given
dering how the conversation had whiskey to the allergic athlete. He
taken this turn. "What does decided then and there that he
whiskey do to you?" would be in attendance at the
The gladiator shuddered. "It match in the Colosseum that eve-
usually hits me about twenty-four ning.
hours afterward. Makes my eyes
water so I can't see much. I've got a
match at the Colosseum tomorrow
night. I hope you'll be there."
"So do I," said Lindsay dryly.
H E GOT to his office about
eleven o'clock. His desk was
stacked high with messages, written
"You wouldn~t know who gave you and taped, and all sorts of folk
this little chore on me, would you?" wished to talk with him on the
"Not likely," said the gladiator. vidarphone. Nina, looking more
"When we report at the club every slovenly than ever, had arranged
evening we find our assignments them neatly, according to their na-
stuck in our boxes. Usually we get ture and importance in separate lit-
orders to meet a dame. This was tle piles.
something different." "Next time you tear up the pea-
"I see what you mean," Lindsay patch," she informed him resent-
told him. fully, "I'm going to get in some
O'Ryan got up, said, "Well, I help." She eyed him with somber
might as well be running along. I'll speculation, added, "I hear the Sec-
give them hell for fouling up the Gen turned in early last night."
computer-prophecy. Look me up "You've got big ears," said Lind-
after the match tomorrow. And say.
thanks for not having me pinched. "I get around," she said. "I'm
I might have had to spend the night supposed to keep tabs on you, boss."
in a cell. That's bad for condition- "Then you must know someone
ing." tried to kill me early this morning
"You're quite welcome," said when I came back from Natchez."
Lindsay, feeling like a character in Nina's eyes narrowed alarmingly
a semi-nightmare. "Will I be seeing under the glasses that covered them.
you again-this way?" She said, "Why didn't you report
"Vnlikely," the gladiator told it?" She sounded like a com-
him. "They'll have to run a lot of mander-in-chief questioning a jun-
checks on you after this before they ior aide for faulty judgment.
try again. See you tomorrow." "I won," Lindsay said simply.
Lindsay looked after his visitor "There was no danger."
THE AMBASSADOR 19
"Who was it?" she asked. And, indecipherable scrawl.
when he hesitated, "I'm not going Lindsay stuck the card in his wal-
to shout it from the housetops, let, returned the box to the waste-
boss." basket. Who in hell, he wondered,
"It was Pat O'Ryan." would be sending this sort of gift
"You handled Pat?" she asked, to his slatternly thick-bodied secre-
apparently astonished. Something tary. The answer seemed obvious.
in her tone told him Nina knew his The sender was her real boss, pay-
would-be assassin. ing her off in a personal way that
"Why not?" he countered. "It would obviate suspicion. Lindsay
wasn't much of a brawl." wondered exactly what Nina had
"But Pat . . ." she began, and lost.
hesitated. Then, all business again, He was not surprised when she
"We'd better get at some of this. said she would come along to the
You have a date to be psyched by psychiatrist's with him after an of-
Dr. Craven at two o'clock." fice lunch of veal pralines, soya
"What for?" he asked, startled. buns and coffee. He suggested she
"Routine," she told him. "Every- might be tired, might want the day
one connected with UW has to go off.
through it. But cheer up, boss, it She said, "Night soil, boss! Be-
doesn't hurt-much." tween the Sec-Gen's daughter and
"Okay," he said resignedly. things like Pat O'Ryan I'm going
"Let's get to work." to keep an eye on you."
While he dictated Lindsay found As if on signal the vidar-screen
himself wondering just who was lit up and Maria's face appeared on
paying Nina's real salary. If she it. She had not donned harmopan
were a spy for the same group that or glasses and looked quite as lovely
had sent O'Ryan to kill him, his as she had the night before. She
position was delicate, to put it mild- said, "Zalen, I've got to see you to-
ly. But for some reason he doubted night. Something has come up."
it. There were too many groups Lindsay nodded. He figured out
working at once to make any such his schedule, suggested, "I'm going
simple solution probable. to the match in the Colosseum.
When she departed briefly to Why not take it in with me?"
superintend a minor matter out of She shook her head, told him,
the office, he found himself staring "I'm tangled up at a banquet for
at the wastebasket by his tilt-chair. the Egypto-Ethiopian delegation. I
A heart-shaped jewel-box of trans- can meet you afterward though.
parent crystoplastic lay within it. How about the Pelican?"
Curious, Lindsay plucked it out. It "That's not very private," he
had evidently held some sort of protested.
necklace and bore the mark of "All the more reason," she an-
Zoffany's, the Capital's costliest nounced. "This is important!"
jeweler. Within it was a note that "And seeing me in private isn't?"
read: For Nina, who lost last night Despite himself a trace of wounded
-as ever . .. The signature was an male entered his tone.
 (;.,

20 SAM MERWIN, JR.

Maria laughed softly, her dark Craven replied, "President Gio-
eyes dancing. "Perhaps later," she vannini himself carne in for a
said softly. "You'll understand voluntary checkup just last week."
when I talk to you." She clicked As if that were an answer.
off and the screen was empty. Lindsay suppressed a desire to
"Damned cat!" said Nina ask if the North American presi-
through a haze of cigarette-smoke. dent had all his marbles. He had an
"Watch out for her, bos~he's a idea any levity he displayed would
cannibal." register against him. Dr. Craven
"And I'm a bit tough and asked him a number of apparently
stringy," he told her. routine questions which Lindsay
Nina said, "Night soil!" again answered via a recorder. How old
under her breath and led the way . he was, whether he liked flowers,
out of the office. Lindsay wondered how often he had fought with his
if she were jealous. schoolmates as a boy, what sort of
food he preferred.
"Good," the doctor said, pushing

D R. CRAVEN received them in aside the microphone on his desk

a comfortable chamber, the and motioning Lindsay to do like-
north wall of which was all glass wise. He rose, wheeled a device like
brick, the south wall a solid bank of an old-fashioned beautician's hair-
screens and dials. He was a soft- drier close to the couch, adjusted
faced man who wore lozenge- the helmet to Lindsay's head.
shaped light blue spectacles and "Now," he added, "I want you to
seemed afflicted with a slight chin think as clearly as you can of your
rash. He caught Lindsay's regard, mother. Keep your eyes on the
rubbed his chin in mild embarrass- screen and give me as clear a pic-
ment, said, "I've a mild allergy to ture as you can."
paranoids." He pressed a button and the whir
Lindsay looked at Nina distrust- or a camera, also focussed on the
fully but she nodded and said, "Go screen, sounded from the wall be-
ahead-he won't break your arm. hind Lindsay. When Dr. Craven
I'll wait outside." nodded, he concentrated and, to his
The psychiatrist closed his office amazement, watched a fuzzy like-
door. After settling him in a com- ness of his maternal parent take
fortable contour couch, Dr. Craven form on the screen.
opened up with, "I don't want you This was something new, he de-
to have any worries about this test, cided, and said so. Dr. Craven re-
Ambassador. If anybody's crazy plied, "Yes-the psychopic is brand
here it's me. According to very new. But concentrate on the pic-
sound current theory all psychia- ture, please. You're losing it."
trists are insane. If we weren't we It had faded to almost nothing.
wouldn't be so concerned with Lindsay concentrated again, this
sanity in others." time brought his maternal parent
Lindsay asked, "Why in hell am into clear focus. He felt a little like
I being tested anyway?" a man who has never wielded a
THE AMBASSADOR 21
brush in his life and has suddenly began. Dr. Craven chose that mo-
discovered he could paint a perfect ment to emerge from his office.
portrait. "If you'll come back inside," he
Dr. Craven said nothing for a said. "There are just a few more
moment. Then, "Will you try to questions I'd like to ask, Ambassa-
visualize your mother without the dor."
blemish at her temple?" "Ask them here," said Lindsay.
Lindsay tried, and all but lost the He had no desire to go back under
picture entirely. He brought it back the drier.
again, blemish and all, felt a sudden Dr. Craven hesitated and rubbed
tug of nostalgia for the firm kindly his chin, which was bright red
features of the woman who had again. He said finally, "Mr. Lind-
brought him into the world. A min- say, you didn't kill your mother be-
ute or so later Dr. Craven pressed fore you were seventeen, did you?"
another button and the screen went "My mother died last year," said
blank. "That will do very nicely," Lindsay, unbelieving.
he said. "You may wait for the "Incredible!" muttered the psy-
psycho-computer verdict outside if chiatrist, shaking his head. "Ac-
you wish." cording to the computer you must
He found Nina sprawled in an have . . ." He paused again, then
anteroom chair with her long legs said, "I hope this won't embarrass
stuck out before her, contemplating you but you evidently are a man
a flashing diamond-and-emerald who prefers men to women. The
necklace. He said, before she looked stigmata is definite and shows-"
up and saw him, "Business good, "Night soi!!" Nina exploded her
Miss Beckwith?" favorite expression before Lindsay
To his amazement Nina began to could collect his wits for an answer.
snivel. And when he asked her what "I'm sorry to disappoint you, Dr.
he had done to cause it she snapped Craven, but this man's a veritable
angrily, "You big pig, you haven't satyr. I caught him looking at my
the sensitivity to understand. Don't legs yesterday. Ask Maria Bergozza
ever speak of it as business again. if you want any further proof."
Now I'll have to bathe my eyes "But this is impossible!" the psy-
when I get home or they will be all chiatrist exploded. "According to
swollen and horrible." the computer_"
She removed her glasses and they "Your computer's out of whack,"
were swollen. Lindsay had seen too Nina said calmly, and led a stunned
much of allergic reactions since Lindsay out of the place. She
reaching Earth not to know he was added, "You didn't deserve that,
looking at another. He was relieved boss. Not after puffing my eyes up."
when she put her glasses back on. "Why not just keep your glasss
"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean on then?" he countered. They re-
to disturb you." turned to their office in unfriendly
"I know it," she replied, "but you silence. Lindsay sent Nina home
did." early and took a copter across the
"Perhaps, if you told me-" he Lake to his own place, there to nap
22 SAM MERWIN, JR.
until time for the match at the screen before,· asked Anderson how
Colosseum. they worked. The senator from
New Mexico was glad to explain.
"Naturally," he said, "since the

H E FELT more at home in the

UW box at the vast arena than
at any time since reaching Earth.
results of all athletic contests are
predicted on the computers, there
is no betting on who will win."
Since it was a sporting event, the "No upsets?" Lindsay asked."
eye-glasses were serried, at least in Anderson laughed, said, "The
the lower, higher-priced tiers, by last time there was an upset-in the
good looking faces, male and fe- British Australian test cricket
male, unadorned. matches three years ago--a com-
Someone slid into the comfor- puter investigation proved bribery
table contour chair beside him and and there was a hell of a stink."
said, "Evening, Zalen. Enjoying "Then how do you manage to
yourself ?" bet?" Lindsay asked.
Lindsay looked into Senator Fer- "Simple," said the Senator. "Na-
nando Anderson's diamond-shaped turally, in case of accidental injury,
raspberry glasses. He said, "So far all bets are void. But otherwise the
-how about you?" betting is on the percentage of vari-
Anderson made a face. "I had a ation between the computer predic-
date with a gorgeous item but she tion and the actual play of the
put me off until later. So I thought contest. There-you can see the
I'd look in. Maria arranged a seat computer line on the big board over
in the UW box. Otherwise I'd be there. The line of actual play will
watching it on vidar." be red when it comes on. That way
Lindsay looked up and around there is plenty of chance for betting
and discovered that the vast sta- on points, games, sets or match."
dium was packed to the rafters, The man from Mars studied the
judging by the glowing cigarette predictor line for the match. It re-
tips that resembled an uncountable vealed that Pat O'Ryan, after a fast
horde of frozen fireflies. start, was due to slump in the sec-
The court itself was pitch-dark, ond set, recover in the third and
save for the lines and the net. He polish off his opponent, Yamato-
had trouble recognizing O'Ryan as Rau from Indonesia, in the fourth
his would-be assassin and opponent set with the loss of but one game.
walked out. Neither player was "Looks like a shoo-in for
clearly visible of feature, though O'Ryan," he said. "Right?"
shoes, shorts and racquets were "It ought to be," the Senator re-
luminous, as were the balls they be- plied. "He's taken Yamato-Rau in
gan to hit back and forth across the six of their seven previous matches.
net. "The second time they played he
The only other luminous objects, had a sprained wrist that affected
save for the dim exit lights, were his volleying."
the betting boards. Lindsay, who "Care to make a bet?" Lindsay
had never seen one save on a vidar- asked his companion.
THE AMBASSADOR 23
"Sure-why not?" Anderson to three on a single service break
countered. "Percentage of variation against the Indonesian champion.
for game, set or match?" "Money in the bank," said An-
"I'd like to bet on the Indonesian derson in Lindsay's ear as the play-
to win," said Lindsay quietly. ers changed courts following the
first game of the second set, which
IV Yamato-Rau had taken at fifteen.
"Candy from a baby.'~ *,

S ENATOR ANDERSON looked

at Lindsay sharply. He said,
"You know something."
"It's barely begun," said Lindsay
with a confidence he was far from
feeling. He glanced at the clock
"Against the computer-proph- above the scoreboard, saw that it
ecy?" Lindsay countered. was scarcely ten o'clock. Sickly he
Anderson backed down and gave recalled that O'Ryan had told him
him a hundred to one on a fifty- it took twenty-four hours for his
credit bet. "You can't win, of grain allergy to take effect. Lindsay
course," he murmured, "but if you had given him the drink barely
do it will be worth it." seventeen hours before. He began
The match b€gan and the hum to wish he had not bet so thought-
of the great crowd's conversation lessly.
slowly quieted. At first it went ac- The second set went to deuce
cording to the computer prophecy. twice before Yamato-Rau broke
Serving brilliantly, hitting crisply O'Ryan's service to run it out at
from either hand and smashing and eight-six. This was two games more
volleying with deadly accuracy than the computer had calculated
from all parts of the court, Pat and caused considerable uproar in
O'Ryan held complete command of the crowd.
the match. "I hear you had some trouble last
There was something hypnotic night," Anderson told him.
about the play-the clean ping of "Nothing serious," said Lindsay,
racquet strings on luminous ball, wondering how much the senator
the swift flight of the ball, a streak knew. Dammit, he thought, he
of light in the darkness, the flash of wished he didn't like the power-
another racquet, the long and intri- hungry politician.
cate tactics of each exchange, brok- He wondered if Anderson were
en only occasionally by the flash of behind the attempt of the morning
a light that betokened an error or -and if he were behind it, why?
an ace and the resulting alteration There could, he decided, be all
of the scoreboard. sorts of Machiavellian motives hid-
The red line crept in zigzag den beneath that smiling face.
fashion along the computer board Then the match got under way
as the match progressed, veering once more, and Lindsay concen-
above or below the white line of the trated on the play.
prophecy but always returning to Once again O'Ryan seemed to be
cross or even to cover it briefly. Big in command-just as the computer
O'Ryan t«'Qk the first set six games had foretold. Games went to five-
24 SAM MERWIN, JR.
two in his favor. Then, as the play- racquet like one of his ancestors'
ers changed courts once more, the shillalehs, O'Ryan charged, to his
tall Irishman paused to towel off- rescue, pulled him to his feet, cov-
and paid special attention to rub- ered his retreat to the wall. There
bing his eyes. Lindsay was able to pull first the
At that his string ran out. Four Indonesian, then the Irishman, up
straight times his swiftest drives hit into the box.
the top of the net and bounced back "Damned fool!" said Anderson.
into his own court. He blrow his "Getting us into a riot." But a mo-
service thanks to a pair of double- ment later Lindsay saw the senator
faults and three minutes later swinging hard at an angry customer
Yamato-Rau had taken the set with a fist in which his wallet was
while the crowd sat in stunned si- still clenched. The man made a
lence. grab for it as someone else hit An-
The fourth set was pitiful. derson over the head with a plastic
O'Ryan played like a blind man bottle. He dropped across a con-
and the Indonesian ran it out with tour-chair, letting his wallet fall
the loss of exactly one point per from unconscious fingers.
game. The red line on the com- UW police formed a protective
puter-board yawed wildly toward wall around them and Pat O'Ryan,
the bottom instead of following the recognizing Lindsay, said, "Thanks,
white line as it should have. Ambassador. I guess lowe you a
"Keep your credits," Lindsay couple. If my eyes hadn't gone bad
told Senator Anderson. "You were on me ..."
right. As it turned out I did know Lindsay was tempted to admit
something after all." his guilt in that matter but decided
"It's impossible!" cried the sena- against it. He had no desire to be
tor. "But it's cheap at the price- caught in another riot. He picked
here!" He withdrew his wallet and up Anderson's wallet, put it back in
began pulling out crisp hundred- the still unconscious senator's breast
credit notes. pocket. A white-clad interne was
"Look out!" cried Lindsay. brought through the police cordon,
Around them the stands had knelt beside Anderson and began to
erupted into violence. While the make repairs.
players were shaking hands at the "You'd better leave now, Am-
net, angry-and, Lindsay suspected, bassador," said one of the boss
frightened-bettors and spectators policeman respectfully to Lindsay
leaped the low barriers and when the senator had been carted
swarmed out onto the dark court. away on a stretcher. Lindsay
They hemmed the players in, driv- nodded. Then he noticed a slip of
ing them toward the wall directly paper lying beneath the chair across
under the UW box in which Lind- which Anderson had fallen. It
say and Anderson were sitting. read: ree. 10,000 edt. 1 em. & di.
Someone threw something and neck. It was from Zoffany, the
Yamato-Rau stumbled and fell to jeweler.
his hands and knees. Swinging his "What the hell!" Lindsay dis-
THE AMBASSADOR 25
covered he was speaking aloud. He actually, of the advertising-Holly-
stuffed the paper in his pocket and wood beauty fetish of the previous
followed the officer through a maze century, they were selected almost
of underground passages out of the from birth for their callings and
Colosseum. He still thought, What trained rigorously from childhood
the hell! What could Nina have re- on, the males to become athletes or
ported about him that was worth actors, the females courtesans or
that sort of money to the senator? actresses.
There was no race among them,

Spy, SLATTERN or not, Nina

was efficient, as he realised
for their only standards were beauty
and physical fitness, no creed but
achievement in their lines of in-
when a bowing motley-clad waiter dividual entertainment. He caught
captain smilingly ushered him to a sight of a lissome Euro-African, the
secluded table for two in a banquet classic exoticism of her flower-petal
niche of the Pelican. It was Lind- face illumined by joyous laughter
say's first visit to an Earthly after- beneath a glossy neo-Watusi hairdo,
dark cafe and he instinctively com- as she glided gracefully over the
pared it with certain of its imita- dance-floor in the arms of a hunch-
tions in the comparatively small harnessed and bespectacled part-
cities of his native planet. ner.
It was sleeker, better run, far The gladiators and courtesans
more beautiful. Its general color alone seemed to find joy in living.
scheme was darkly opalescent, sub- Lindsay, who had seldom been un-
tly glowing, flattering to its clients. happy in his active existence, felt
And, of course, most of them his sympathies and heart go out to .
needed flattering, at least to Lind- them. He followed the progress of
say's alien eyes. He noted here a a tiny Oriental model whose face
pair of scimitar-shaped spectacles was alive with good-humor as she.
whose turquoise-studded rims swept past his table, her exquisite
caught the light like a pair of small figure stressed by a glittering
lemon pies, there a harmopan-cov- jeweled sheathe.
ered female face that glowed pale "You really should wear glasses
green in the darkness. -or else learn not to stare," said
But even more numerous and Maria, appearing from nowhere
decorative than at the stadium, the and sitting down at the table. She
gladiators and courtesans were made amends by extending a warm
present, reinforced by a larding of soft hand to grip one of his. Though
vidar stars visiting or entertaining she wore her glasses and her hair
in the capital. And these, Lindsay was severely pulled back, he had no
admitted to himself with awed re- difficulty in recalling the fact that,
luctance, outshone in sheer beauty unclothed, she was lovely.
and handsomeness any group of "Why don't you get in on the
Martian humans. act?" he suggested, nodding toward
They ought to, he thought. Di- a pair of models emerging from the
rect descendants, figuratively if not harmopan room. "All you'd have
26 SAM MERWIN, 1!R.
to do would be to remove your specs Her hand covered his again atop
and harness and let your hair the table. "I wish we could," she
down." said wistfully. "I like you very
"You're sweet, Zale," she said, much, Zale darling. But this is too
pleased. Then, with a sigh, "But important. We haven't time. But
there's a lot more to it than that." what about the tennis tonight?
"You do all right that way too," There's going to be an investiga-
he told her boldly. tion, of course. Won't you tell me
She slapped the back of his hand how you did it?"
and then, growing quickly serious, "Not until I've figured out both,"
said, "Zale, I didn't ask you to meet he said. "I may be on the track of
me for that. I've got so much to ask something or it may be sheer
you-so much to tell. Did you really chance. Until I understand what
find an assassin waiting for you happened at Dr. Craven's I'm sim-
when you got home last night? And ply not sure of my facts."
did you kill him?" "But there simply isn't time,
"Yes and no," said Lindsay. "I darling," Maria told him. "This is
did find one and I didn't kill him. really what I must talk to you
In fact we parted good friends." about. We got word today that Pre-
"You Martians ..." She sighed, sident Giovannini is going to unveil
then said, "And I understand you Giac any day now."
have already broken two computers "Decided against your sabotage
-this afternoon at the psychiatrist's plan?" he asked her.
and this evening at the Colosseum. She wrinkled her pert little nose.
It's the most marvelous news, dar- "What's the use? They'd simply re-
ling. I've got to know how you did pair it. Besides, it's much too well
it." guarded. Zale, you're our only hope
"I'm damned if I know how I now."
fouled up Dr. Craven's computer," He said "If I'm right, and I'm
he told her. "I'm still trying to fig- beginning to hope I am, it won't
ure it out." matter whether Giac is unveiled or
Her face fell. She said, "I was not. In fact, it might be more effec-
hoping you had something ... But tive if it were."
never mind." Then, brightening, Maria drummed on the table
"But you're driving them crazy. with nervous knuckles. "But you
They ran Dr. Craven's results don't understand, Zale. You don't
through Elsac late this afternoon think for a minute that the Ministry
and got the same answer. The of Computation is taking this lying
records checked that you didn't kill down. I got word less than half an
your mother and I know you're not hour ago that they are preparing to
an invert." She laughed softly. force your recall as an unsuitable
Spurred by the erotic atmos- plenipotentiary."
phere, plus the dizzying speed of "They can try." Lindsay spoke
recent events and Maria's nearness, grimly. This was' a move he had
he said, "Let's get out of here and failed to forsee, though he supposed
go to my place." he should have. Inadvertently he
THE AMBASSADOR 27

was becoming a major threat to the "Come with me-now," she said,
crockery in the china shop that was once more gripping his hand. "A
Earth. group of us want to talk to you, to
"They can do it," Maria said find out how you have done it."
simply. "Zale, these people have He looked at her, found her
become absolutely dependent upon adorable in her earnestness. He
their computers. They aren't going said, "And if I play guinea pig with
to let their entire creed be wrecked your friends, then you and I ... ?"
by one Martian." "Of course-as soon as there's
"What do you want me to do?" time," she told him.-
he <i~ked simply. "You are a little bundle of fana-
28 SAM MERWIN, J~:

ticism, as well as of sex," he told boned, with broad cheeks and fore-
her. "I should think at least, since head pierced by a decided widow's
you seem to have such an inside peak. Light green eyes slanted up-
track, you could manage to get my ward beneath brows like the wings
recall deferred." of some tiny graceful bird. Nose,
"That's just itf" she exclaimed lips and chin gained fascination
bitterly. "I see everything, I hear from the perfection they skirted but
everything-yet I can do nothing. just escaped. Face, arms, upper
Papa thinks I'm merely a foolish bosom and shoulders wore the even
female creature and his attitude tawny golden tan that only some
blocks me at every turn." Lindsay blondes can achieve.
realized again how fundamentally Her figure, ashimmer with gems,
frustrated she was, wondered if she was lithe of waist, firmly full of
would ever find a completely satis- breast and pelvis, moved with the
factory release. enticing grace of an Indonesian
Lindsay decided to play along. temple dancer as she slipped into
"All right," he said. "Shall we go?" the seat Maria had so recently
"Thanks, darling," she promised. vacated.
"We'd better go separately. There "Sorry, your highness," he said
will be a blue copter-cab waiting with a look of honest admiration.
outside when you leave." She leaned "I didn't know we had a date."
across the table to brush his lips "We have now," she stated. She
briefly with hers, squeezed his hand laid a handbag solidly encrusted
and glided off. with diamonds, emeralds and rubies
on the table, said to the dwarf
waiter, "Bring me the usual, Joe-

H E WONDERED, while he
waited for the check, just how
fooIhardly he was being, allowing
and give Ambassador Lindsay an-
other of whatever he's drinking."
At any other time, Lindsav
himself to be summoned to a meet- thought. He said, "I regret this
ing of palace conspirators. It could more than you'll ever know, my
very easily be a trap, whether Maria dear, but I've got a copter-cab wait-
knew it or not. It could be a ruse ing for me outside."
to add fuel to the fire being lit "It will keep." The girl pouted
under him for his recall as a legate prettily, then leaned toward him
persona non grata on Earth. and said huskily, "We'll have just
"You haven't forgotten our date, one here. Then we can go to my
have you darling?" The voice was place. It's just outside of Biloxi,
throatily reproachful above him almost on the Gulf. We can watch
and he looked up in surprise at the dawn come up over the water.
a glittering female figure, who We can-"
seemed to be clad entirely in blaz- "Stop twisting my arm," said
ing brilliants. Lindsay, trying to keep his thoughts
She was tall and blonde, her hair in focus. Who had sent this girl and
an ocean helmet of gold, sprinkled why? And what, he wondered,
with gems. Her face was beautifully awaited him in Biloxi.
THE AMBASSADOR 29
He got up, tossed a twenty-credit copter-cab light, revealing the back
note on the table. "This will pay the of a uniformed chauffeur, and
check," he informed her. showed him her handbag. There
"Not so fast," said the houri, ris- was a slight tear in one side of its
ing with him. Trying to ignore her, begemmed surface and, when she
he headed toward the door as fast shook it, bits of glass fell to the floor.
as he could. "Careful," she warned when he
She kept after him and his ears reached for the bag. "It was prob-
burned as he plunged out into the ably packed with poison." Then,
night, saw the blue copter-cab wait- "Can you think of a better shield
ing with its door open at the curb. than diamonds?"
But when he tried to plunge toward He said, "Ulpf" Unquestionably,
it he was halted by an arm whose now that she had revealed herself,
sharp-faceted jeweled adornments this glittering creature was his
cut his adam's apple. He gasped but slovenly office Nina. Seeking des-
the girl got in front of him, waving perately to recover what had at best
her bag. been a shaky boss-secretary rela-
There was a faint popping noise tionship, he said, "Where are you
as the door closed and the copter- taking me?"
cab swiftly and silently darted away. "Out of the city, boss," she in-
Stunned by the swiftness of events, formed him. "We really are going
Lindsay was utterly incapable of to my place in Biloxi. You're much
resistance when his decorative tor- too hot a property to be allowed to
mentor thrust him into another wander around loose. Two tries in
vehicle. As they took off he said, "I less than twenty-four hours."
suppose this is the prelude to an- "Then Maria ..." he said, won-
other assassination try." deringly.
"Night soi!!" said a familiar Nina picked his thought up crisp-
voice. "What the hell do you think ly. "We don't know whether your
I just saved you from, boss?" little playmate put the finger on
you consciously or not. But she did
it. Some of that sweet little crew she

L INDSAY uttered one word-a

word which, he thought later,
was singularly revealing as to his
pals around with are desperate.
They don't believe they can lick the
computers and their only hope is to
native flair for diplomacy. He said, foment incidents that will lead to
briefly and succinctly, "Huh?" an interplanetary war. Nice kids!"
"Listen, my fine unfeathered "But why pick on me?" he asked.
Martian friend." She sounded like "From what Maria said tonight I'm
a primary school teacher addressing their one hope of beating the ma-
an overgrown and somewhat back- chines."
ward pupil. "Somebody fired a glass Nina shook her head at him sad-
bullet at you from that cab." ly. "And you're the best brain our
;,"How do you . . .?" he began Martian cousins could send us.
helplessly. Here it is in words of one syllable.
For answer she turned on the Maria's mob wants war. They be-
 30 SAM MERWIN, JR.
lieve they can light the powder decided not to take the chance. So,
train by arranging the assassination he said, "Is Fernando working for
. of a Martian Plenipotentiary. the Model's Union too?"
"Meanwhile your speech yes- "Stop trying to be funny," she
terday and your fouling up Doc told him. "Night soil! You make me
Craven's computer this afternoon, so damned mad. Letting that little
and whatever you did at the tennis tramp Maria nail you."
tonight, have the Computer crowd "At the time there wasn't much
screaming for your recall before you alternative," he said. Then, eyeing
upset their little red wagon." She her closely, "How come you're
paused, added, "Naturally Maria's mixed up in UW politics? I thought
crowd wants to have you killed be- models were strictly for fun and
fore you become a mere private games."
citizen of Mars. Once you're re- Nina said matter-of-factly, "I
moved from office you aren't im- won top model rating when I was
portant enough to cause a war." seventeen. I still hold it and I'm
"Good God!" said Lindsay as the twenty-six now. A girl can get tired
double pattern became apparent. of being and doing the same thing
Then, curiously, "And just whom -even in my profession. Besides,
do you represent, Nina?" I've got brains. So I try to use
She eyed him steadily, mockingly them."
for a moment. Then she said, "Let's "How come you decided to be
just say for now that I represent the my secretary?"
Model's Union. We don't want any "We drew lots and I lost," she
wartime austerity wrecking our informed him.
pitch. Will that do?"
"I guess it will have to," he said.
Then, plucking a diamond-and-
emerald necklace from among the
half-dozen about her throat, "You
T HE COPTER dropped by
searchlight to a flagged terrace
in front of a dark cottage just off
certainly didn't give poor Anderson the beach. "Thanks, Bob," said
much for his money." Nina. "Tell the boys to stand by
"Stop it!" she snapped. "Do you with their guard beams up." Then,
want my eyes to swell up again? In to Lindsay, "Come on, boss, let's get
a way what happened tonight was out of this heap."
all your fault. Fernando and I were She walked swiftly toward the
going to keep close tabs on you but cottage, pressed something. Soft
you fouled me up with your beastly lights came on, revealing a charm-
remark about my business at Doc ing simulated wood dwelling in the
Craven's and then put poor Fer- fine antique Frank Lloyd Wright
nando out of commission by getting tradition. She ushered him into a
mixed up in that riot at the Colos- delightfully gay bathroom looking
seum. I barely made the Pelican in out on the water, said, "Wait here
time." while I get this armor off."
He thought of giving Nina the Lindsay felt a slight qualm as he
receipt from Zoffany's in his pocket, considered what being a top model
THE AMBASSADOR 31
at seventeen must mean. And then don't want to set myself off. It's
he thought, Why not? Certainly he not uncommon among us-models.
had no claim on Nina's morals. He You see, we're proud of our careers,.
doubted if anyone had a claim of not like the two-credit whores who
any kind on her. wear glasses and harnesses. And it
She emerged, looking unex- hurts us when someone refers to our
pectedly like a young girl in simple work as business. You see, there's
clout and cup-bra, which exposed nothing really commercial about it.
most of her gorgeously tanned body. So when you-"
Her hair, innocent of jewels like the ,"But how the devil was I to know
rest of her, was clubbed back simply you were a model?" he asked her.
with some sort of clip. She lit a ciga- "I know," she said illogically.
rette and said, "Now-how the hell "But it still made me mad." Then,
ate you fouling up the computers?" frowning, "But if the computer was
"I'm not," he told her promptly. wrong because of incomplete
"At least not in the case of the ten- knowledge at the Colosseum, what
nis match. I just happened to know was wrong at Doc Craven's?"
something about Pat O'Ryan the Lindsay said, "I'm damned if I
people who fed facts to the com- know."
puter didn't." "We've Rot to know, with the
"That goon Pat!" she said. "He's president ready to put Giac to
so damned dumb." work."
"You know him well?" he asked "I meant to tell you about that,"
with a trace of jealousy. said Lindsay.
"I know him." She dismissed it "Don't worry," Nina informed
with a flick of her cigarette. "It's a him. "Your table at the Pelican was
good thing you knew judo too, boss. wired."
But what did you do to him that "Why are you against com-
fouled up the match?" puters?" Lindsay asked her.
"While he was out cold I gave She dropped her smoke in a dis-
him a shot of whiskey to bring him posal-tray, said, "Never mind why
'round," Lindsay told her. "He -let's just accept the fact that I
didn't know about it and I didn't am. And not for Fernando Ander-
tell him when he informed me son's reason either. He just wants
about his grain-alcohol allergy. So power."
for once the computer didn't get "And what do you want?"
full facts. And I had them." "Me?" Her eyebrows rose in sur-
For the first time Lindsay basked prise. "Why, I just want to have
in a smile of approval from Nina. fun!" She extended her arms and
She said, "And then you had to flapped her hands like birds. Then,
mess me up at Doc Craven's so I again reverting to seriousness, "I
couldn't sit in on the match." wish you'd tell me everything that
"I'm sorry about that," he said went on at Doc Craven's yesterday.
sin~rely. "You might brief me so Dammit, his office wasn't wired."
I don't do it again." Lindsay went through it, as near-
"Well . . ." She hesitated. "I ly word for word as he could, then
32 SAM MERWIN, JR.
did it again when no answer was full information. And you have
quickly forthcoming. Nina listened, proved two breakdowns in the in-
her perfect forehead marred by a escapable human element-the in-
frown. Finally she said, "Let's take formation feeding-just like that!"
a dip. It's almost dawn." She snapped her fingers. "It means
She removed what clothing she we've got the whole computer-cult
wore and Lindsay did likewise: on the hip. I could kiss you again,
They felt the refreshing caress of you big goon." She did so.
the cool Gulf water on their skins "Cut it out," he said. "I'm not
-but that was all the caressing made of brass."
there was. Nina, unlike l\tfaria, was She said, "Night soil," amiably.
all business despite the near-blatant What he might have done he was
perfection of her charms. Back in never to know, for a buzzer sounded
the bathroom she said, "The only and Nina moved quickly to a wall-
thing I can think of is that stigmata talkie. She said, "All right, Bob, you
business. Why should you imagine a say he's clean?" Then, a moment
mark on your mother's forehead?" later, "Better let him in and
"Because she had one," he told say his piece." And, to Lindsay,
her bluntly. "It was not unattrac- "We've got company. Dmitri Alen-
tive-my father used to call it her kov-met him?"
beauty mark." Lindsay frowned. "You mean the
Nina ran long slim fingers Soviet charge d'affaires? I met him
through her water-dark hair and at the reception last week. Dreadful
said incredulously, "You mean little lizard."
blemishes are not removed auto- "Dmitri might surprise you," she
matically at birth on Mars?" said enigmatically.
"Why, no," said Lindsay, sur- Lindsay almost said night soil
prised. "It's entirely up to the in- himself in exasperation. Instead
dividual-or the parents." and peevishly he asked, "Is there
"And Doc Craven asked no ques- anybody you don't know-inti·
tions that would lead to the truth?" matelv?"
the girl asked, blinking. When Lind- She laughed. "Of course," she
say shook his head she suddenly said, "I don't know many women."
grabbed him and kissed him and
did a little dance of sheer joy. "It's
simply too good to be true! Two
computers fouled in one day
through missing information!"
T HE SOVIET diplomat entered
the bathroom. He was a languid
mincing creature whose decadence
"You're right, of course," he ad- glowed around him like phos-
mitted. "But I'm damned if I see phorescence around a piece of
how it docs us any good:" rotted swampwood. He said, "I
"You idiot!" she shook him. "It hope I am not intruding."
clears the whole situation. It means "That depends," Nina told him.
that the computers cannot give ac- "1'd like to know how you traced
,curate answers according to the us here so quickly."
symbolic logic tables unless they get "My sweet," said the Russian in
THE AMBASSADOR 33
intensely Oxford Esperanto, "you anyway," Lindsay said drily.
and your friend's"-with another Nina quelled him with a frown.
bow toward Lindsay-"little affair "The computer weakness," she
at the Pelican was witnessed this said, "lies in the human element.
evening. When the two of you de- Now figure that out for yourself."
parted together, heading eastward, Alenkov's brows all but met in
and Ambassador Lindsay could not the middle of his forehead and his
be reached in his apartment . . ." mouth became a little round 0 un-
He paused delicately. der the twin commas of his mus-
So this, thought Lindsay, was a tache. He said, "I see."
descendant of one of the Red Com- He left shortly afterward on a
missars whose fanatic and chill note of sadness, rousing himself only
austerity had terrorized the free to say to Lindsay, "Ambassador,
world of a century ago. Lindsay you are a very lucky man." His eyes
knew something of modern Soviet caressed Nina's near-nude figure.
history, of course. There had been "That," Lindsay told him, "is
no real counter-revolution. Instead what you think."
the gradual emergence of the scien- When he had departed Lindsay
tists over their Marxist political suddenly realized he was exhausted.
rulers had been a slow process of He sank back in a contour chair
erosion. and let fatigue sweep over him.
Once computer rule was inau- But Nina paced the bathroom floor
gurated in the North American Re- like a caged cat. Finally she went
public and swept the Western to the wall-talkie, gave a number in
World, the scientists had simply a low voice.
taken over real power. The once- She pushed some sort of signal
powerful Politburo and its sub-com- button several times, then swore
mittees became obsolete. and said, "Better not sleep now,
Alenkov was stressing this very boss. We're cut off."
point. He said, "So you see, we, the It brought him to with a start.
best blood of Russia, are forced by "What do you mean?" he asked.
these machines to live the lives of "Somebody or something is jam-
outcast children. Naturally we re- ming our communicator."
sent it. And when, after so many She opened a concealed cabinet,
long years of waiting, we learn that apparently part of the bathroom
one man has succeeded in foiling wall, drew from it a couple of light
the computers where no man has but deadly looking blasters, and
succeeded before, we want to know tossed one onto the contour chain
his secret. We must have it." in front of him. "You know how to
Nina spoke first. She said, work one of these things?" she
"Dmitri, the secret, as you call it, asked.
has been right there all along for "Better drop the weapons," a
any of us to see. It just happens quiet voice said from the doorway
that Ambassador Lindsay fell into behind them. "You haven't got a
it head first." chance."
."Thanks for the 'Ambassador' The speaker wore the light blue
34 SAM MERWIN, JR.
tunicall that was the summer uni- very green, very lush, very beauti-
form of the Army of the Republic ful.
of North America. His cap and Lindsay's first impression of
shoulder-boards were bright with famed President Giovannini was
silver lace and he held a singularly that the famous elected leader of
ugly little automatic weapon the North American Republic was
cradled across one forearm. composed mostly of secretaries. But
Nina and Lindsay dropped their at last one of them-the seventh or
weapons. But the girl's back was eighth--said gravely, "If you'll just
up. Her slanting eyes crackled green step this way, please," to Lindsay
fire as she said, "What right have and motioned for the Army officer
you bastards got to come busting to remain where he was. He was ad-
in here without a warrant?" mitted to the bathroom of the man
"Sorry," said the officer with who had sent for him so summarily.
chilling courtesy. "As it happens we The president proved to be un-
do have a warrant. Remember, expectedly like some of the gover-
Miss Beckwith, this cottage is not nors of Lindsay's home planet-in-
United World's soil." He tossed an cisive, unaffected, easily articulate.
official looking document which Physically he was stocky, of middle
Nina caught, motioned a couple of height, with a round, firmly fleshed
his men to pick up her weapons. sensitive face. He wore huaraches
"All right," she said after scan- and bright blue shorts, no glasses or
ning the warrant. "What do you distortion harness.
want?" He waved Lindsay to a contour
"Ambassador Lindsay," was the chair beside his own, said, "Sorry
reply. "We have been ordered to I had to have you hauled here this
ensure that no harm comes to him way. I was afraid you'd get killed
while he is on American soil." if I didn't. Do you have any idea
"I can read!" snapped the girl. of the uproar you've caused in the
"There's going to be hell to pay past two days, young man?"
over this." Then, to Lindsay, "We Lindsay, somewhat taken aback
can't stop them now but they can't by the president's abruptness, said,
hold you. I can see to that. Just try "\,yell, I knew some small groups
to keep your big dumb blundering were upset but . . ."
self out of any extra trouble till we "Take a look," the president told
can take steps-will you promise him, waving toward a quartet of
me that, boss?" vidar screens on the wall. Over one
"I'll try," said Lindsay. of them was the legend, New Or-
leans, over another, New York, over
a third, Los Angeles, over the

T HEY TOOK HIM to Washing-

ton-or rather to Sherwo~d
Forest, in Annapolis, where the
fourth, Chicago. "Those are live
shots," Giovannini added.
Lindsay was appalled. Each of
summer White House sprawled them showed rioting crowds and
over and beneath its landscaped defensive police action; the com-
acres. To a man from Mars it was mentaries cried their confusion.
THE AMBASSADOR 35
However, the Martian got the drift sponsible for the first true age of
quickly enough. Apparently his re- world peace in history. It may not
cent activities had driven the neu- be healthy but it's a damn sight
rotic Earthlings to violence. healthier than war. And it has
There appeared to be two chief transformed this republic from an
factions. One of them, smashing unwieldy group of states into a con-
and swarming and screaming its trolled anarchy that can be run by
outrage, was demanding the abol- pushbuttons under ordinary condi-
ishment of computer government. tions."
The other, equally violent and even He paused while the Martian lit
more numerous, was after a villain a cigarette, then went on with,
named Zalen Lindsay. "Thanks first to Sylac, then to
Seeing that Lindsay was begin- Elsac, we learned that Vermont
ning to understand what was hap- was happiest under its Town Meet-
pening, the president pressed a but- ing method, North Carolina needed
ton that turned off all the vidar its oligarchy, while my native state,
screens and voices. He said, "I California, is much better off di-
could switch to any of our other vided in two. Texas became happy
cities-to cities in South America, with its triple legislature-they
India, Western Europe, England. never are happy unless they have
They're especially bitter toward you a little more of everything down
in England." there. It waS the same in other
"I'm beginning to accept the fact countries-Canada, South Amer-
-if not to understand," said Lind- ica, Spain. . ."
s:.y. "And England?" Lindsay said
The president said, "Lindsay, softly.
from the point of view of your The president sighed again.
planet you have done nothing im- "England," he admitted, "is a bit
proper. But from the point of view of a problem-out of all proportion
of this planet . . ." He let silence to its size and current importance.
and a shrug of thick shoulders fin- But the British are stubborn about
ish the sentence. their institutions. They've hung
"I had no idea," Lindsay began, onto a Royal Family a hundred
"that conditions on Earth ..." He years longer than anyone else. We
let his own voice trail off. can hardly expect them to give up
Giovannini finished it for him. their beloved socialism so soon."
"You had no idea people on Earth "Just as long as Mars is not ex-
were so damned neurotic," he said, pected to pay for this indulgence,
and sighed. Then, "Lindsay-call it's quite all right with my peo-
me Johnny, will you? All my ple," Lindsay told him.
friends do-Lindsay, for genera- "What's your first name-Za-
tions now people by and large have len?" the president asked. "Well,
been forfeiting confidence in them- Zalen, I know it's a problem but
selves to confidence in computers. we all have to give a little or crowd
"They have had good reason. somebody out. Zalen, people are
Computer judgment has been re- getting killed on account of you
36 SAM MERWIN, JR.
right now." say asked. "I understand I'm to be
"I've nearly been killed a couple sent back to Mars-if I live that
of times myself." lang."
"I know. Regrettable," said Gio- "No, Lindsay, we need you-I'll
vannini. "The UVV crowd never explain in a moment. And we
has understood security. That's aren't going to let you die and be-
why I had to kidnap y~u, Zalen. come a martyr for generations of
Couldn't have you killed, you know. anti-computerites. We can't have
Not now anyway." that now, can we?"
"Glad you feel that way, "I'll go along with you on it,"
Johnny," Lindsay told him drily. said Lindsay, wondering what the
"But hasn't it occurred to you that president was leading up to.
if people here are so easily set off "Good!" The president beamed
it might be a good idea to knock at him. "Zalen-I want l'OU to be
out this computer business once the first person to put Giae through
and for all?" a public test. That's how much I
The president puffed on his ciga- trust that machine. I want you, the
rette. Then he said, "Zale, twenty man who has fouled up two com-
years ago, maybe even ten, it could puters, including Elsac, to try her
have been done. Now it's too late. out."
Which is why the ninety-billion-
dollar investment in Giac. We've
got to give them an absolute com- 71 ND LINDSAY could only nod.
puter, one that will remove forever t l The governors of Mars might
the basic distrust of computer judg- not approve but after the uproar
ment that underlies the neuroses he had caused on this mission they
you just mentioned." could hardly object. President Gio-
"Quite possibly," said Lindsay. vannini's scheme was fully up to
"But I haven't actually done a that renowned statesman's reputa-
damned thing myself to undermine tion for political astuteness. The
computer judgment. The mistakes more Lindsay thought it over the
bave been made by the so-called more beautiful was its simplicity.
experts who have fed their ma- Mere word that he was to con-
chines inadequate information. duct the first public test would
Those mistakes were infantile. quell the rioting. And unless Lind-
They suggest some sort of neurosis say could show this mightiest of all
on the part of the feeders. They symbolic logic computers to be falli-
could be mistake-prone, you know." ble, computer rule would be en-
President Giovannini chuckled trenched on Earth as never before.
again. "Of course they're mistake- But what if, in some way, he
prone, Zalen," he said. "Some of succeeded in confounding the com-
them, anyway. And it's getting puter? Lindsay shuddered as he
worse. That's the real reason for thought of the rioting he had so
Giac. Wait'll you see it!" recently witnessed on the vidar-
"You think I'm going to be screens.
around that long, Johnny?" Lind- His face must have revealed his
THE AMBASSADOR 37
distress for the president said, "There-how do 1 look?"
"You're worn out, Zalcn. Can't "Gorgeous," he told her.
have that, you know. Not with the "You look a bit dull," she said.
big test corning tomorrow." She dug a box out of a travel-bag
Lindsay barely remembered leav- placed in a corner of the room.
ing the president and being led to "Here," she said. "Put this on-left
a sleeping chamber somewhere in side."
the vast mansion. When he woke "This" proved to be a magnifi-
up it was dark and Nina was cent sunburst decoration, a glitter-
perched on the edge of his con- ing diamond-encrusted star. He
tour couch, looking unexpectedly said, "What is it?"
demure in a grey bolo with white "Grand Order of the United
collar and cuffs. Worlds-a fine diplomat you are!
He said, as articulate as usual 1 picked it up for you this after-
when she surprised him, "Hi." noon before flying here. Just stick
"About time you woke up," she it on. . ." She came over, took it
said. "Do you know you snore?" from him, pressed it firmly against
"I can't help it," he told her. his bolo till the suction grips caught
Then, coming fully awake, "How hold.
the devil did you get here?" He put his arms around her. She
"I walked," she informed him let him hold her a moment, then
succinctly. She stood up, her mag- pushed clear in the immemorial
nificent figure silhouetted against gesture of women dressed for a
the light. "Better get dressed- party who do not want to have
your duds are over there." She their grooming mussed. "Not now,"
nodded toward a walldrobe. "I'll she said. "We'll have plenty of
wait in the bathroom." She breezed time."
out. "Not for what's worrying me,"
When he looked at the clothing he said. "Nina, I've got to put Giac
he was to wear he sensed that Nina through its paces in front of the
had selected it for him. It was a lit- whole world tomorrow. And I don't
tle brighter in color, a little more know what to ask it. I've got a
daring in cut, than what he would blind spot where symbolic logic is
have picked for himself. concerned."
Nina was placing jewels care- "Don't fret yourself," said the
fully in her hair, which she had re- girl calmly. "I'm not worried about
leased to form a sleek halo around you. Not after what you've man-
her magnificent head, when he en- aged to do to all the other comput-
tered the bathroom. A small pali- ers you've faced. Come on-we're
sade of glittering jeweled hairpins having dinner with the president."
protruded from her mouth. She "Who the hell are you anyway?"
had shed her demure bolo and he asked her bluntly. "You don't
stood revealed in glittering black even look the same."
bodice-bra and evening skirt-clout. She laughed. "I should hope
After placing the last jewel in not," she told him. "After all, I
her hair she swung about and said, could hardly grace the president's
38 SAM MERWIN, JR.
table as a mere UW secretary-or atmosphere was being artificially
as a New Orleans top model. Come altered to make it fit for human
on!" habitation?
He went-and got his second She was a fantastic glamorous
shock when President Giovannini lady of mystery, the ultimate heir-
greeted Nina with a manner as ess, the young woman to whom
close to obsequiousness as that pro- inexorably, thanks to North Amer-
fessionally free-and-easy politician ica's matriarchal era during the
could muster. He said, "My dear twentieth century, the control of
Miss Norstadt-Ramirez. I do hope most of its mightiest corporations
you'll forgive me for ordering such and trust funds had descended.
summary action this morning. If And she was Lindsay's secretary.
I'd had the slightest idea..." . No wonder, he thou~ht miserably,
"I was boiling," Nina told him. she had never sounded quite sin-
"I was just about ready to order cere about calling him boss. Why,
Aetnapolitan to pull the props out she virtually owned his home planet
from under you when the riots as well. He watched her covertly
started. Then I blessed your shiny across the table, poised, amused,
little head and came up here." alert, occasionally witty-and so
"I am honored," said the presi- damnably attractive. He wished he
dent. were dead.
She caught his regard, scowled
and stuck her tongue out at him.
L INDSAY, walking through the
proceedings in a fog, was even
more laconic than a clipped British
He thought, Why, ~!ou little. . .!
Somehow she got them out of the
chatter after dinner, got him back
envoy who, along with a recovered
to his suite. There, regarding him
Senator Anderson, was a member
of the party. sternly, she said, "Zale, you aren't
"Don't take it so hard," Ander- going to be stuffy about this, are
son whispered. "Nina is just about you?"
the best-kept secret in this hemi- "I can't help it," he replied. "If
sphere. If I weren't one of the few you'd only told me. . ."
who's been in on it all along. " He read sympathy in her green
He shrugged eloquently. eyes. But she merely shrugged and
Lindsay said nothing. He said, "Result of a lifetime of keep-
couldn't. So Nina-his fresh slat- ing myself under wraps." She sat
ternly secretary, the courtesan of on a contour chair, patted a place
the world capital-was also Cora- for him alongside.
nina Norstadt-Ramirez, the heiress She said, "I'm the richest single
who owned almost hair' of Earth! person there has ever 'been-you
He felt like a quadruply-plated know that. It isn't my fault. It just
idiot. He knew about Norstadt- happened. I didn't deserve or want
Ramirez-who didn't, whether on or need it. But it is a hell of a re-
Earth or Mars or the space-stations sponsibility. Since I'm responsible
circling Venus while that planet's for so much it seemed important to
THE AMBASSADOR 39
me to know how people felt. After honey, I'd like to sleep with you
all we act because we feel. And tonight."
thanks to a few good friends like She looked surprised but not dis-
Fernando Anderson I've been able pleased by his bluntness. "Of
to get away with it." course, darling," she told him.
"Why me?" he asked her. "Why "How much will it cost me?" he
pick on me?" asked her.
Her expression softened. One of She froze-then her eyes began
her hands crept into his. "One of to fill and she sniffled. He said,
the nicest things about you, Zale, is "You know I didn't mean that.
the fact that you don't realise just Dammit, I just wanted to show
how special you are." you you're a neurotic yourself."
"I'm not so special on Mars," he She slapped him hard enough to
told her. tilt him off the contour chair. She
"No?" Her eyebrows rose de- rose haughtily, still sniffing. Lind-
lightfully. "A quarter of a billion say stretched out a hand and
Martians select you as their first caught one of her ankles and
Plenipotentiary to the UW and tripped her up. She tottered, gave
you're not special? Zale, you're an vent to a startled, "Awkr', fell
absolute woolly lamb. backward into the pool-tub.
"There's more to it than that. He dived in after her, caught her
I've never been to Mars. I should when she came up, spluttering,
have, but I simply haven't had the gripped her shoulders hard. Her
time. So I decided the best way to eyes blazed green fire at him. She
find out about Mars at second hand
said, "How dare you do that to me,
was to work with you in some ca-
you moron!"
pacity that would let you be your-
He said, "If I hadn't I'd prob-
self."
"A filthy, underhanded, thor- ably never have seen you again."
oughly feminine trick," he said She collapsed into his arms.
gently and kissed her. Then, frown- Later-much later-as Nina was
ing into her green eyes, "But why about to leave him for her own
are you so dead set against comput- suite, he asked, "Honeycomb, what
er judgment?" did you lose that caused Fernando
"Isn't it obvious?" she asked. to give you that necklace?"
"I've got a tremendous stake in this "I nearly lost you," she replied
world. Kicking around it as I have from the doorway. "I bet him Ma-
I've been able to see what is hap- ria wouldn't get you that night.
pening. I'm damned if I'm going And lost. So Fernando sent the
to have my property managed and necklace as compensation."
run by a bunch of people who make "Quite a large compensation,"
mistakes because they're too neu- said Lindsay drily.
rotic to make decisions. Look at Nina shrugged. "Not for Fernan-
them!" Her voice became edged do," she told him. "After all, I pay
with disgust. him enough. He's my number one
Lindsay said, "I see. List~n, political boy. 'Night, darling."
40 SAM MERWIN, JR.

L INDSAY was on the verge of a

breakdown himself by noon
the next day, after Computation
sane; d-your sons.
And the answer, of course, was:
None of your sons is fit to serve on
Minister du Fresne, looking uglier a jury.
than ever, had finished conducting For some reason this, in turn,
President Giovannini's official party made him think of the ancient
through the rooms and passages of conundrum that employed con-
Giac. If Nina hadn't been by his fusion to trip its victims: What's
side during and after the swift the difference between an iron dog
rocket trip to Death Valley, he in the side yard of a man who
might have collapsed. wants to give his little daughter
It was she who had removed the music lessons but is afraid he can't
glittering star from his breast be- afford them next year, and a man
fore breakfast in the Sherwood For- who has a whale in a tank and
est mansion that morning. "You wants to send him for a wedding
needed something to wear for show present and is trying to pin a tag
last night," she had told him. on him, saying how long he is, how
"Then it's not mine?" he had much he weighs and where he
countered absently. comes from, but can't because the
"Of course it is," she had assured whale keeps sloshing around in the
him. "But Secretary General Ber- tank and knocking the tag off?
gozza is going to make the official This time, the answer was: One
investiture after the test." can't wag his tail, the other can't
Lindsay had meekly surrendered tag his whale.
the bauble, barely noticing. His "None of your sons is fit to tag a
brain was straining to recall what whale-or wag a tail," he said ab-
he could of symbolic logic-a sub- sently.
ject that had never particularly in- "What was that?" Nina asked.
terested him. For some reason it "Nothing, nothing at all," he re-
kept working back to Lewis Carroll, plied. "Merely a man going out of
who, under his real name of his mind."
Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, had "It will never miss you," she re-
been the founder of symbolic logic plied brightly. But her brightness
back in the nineteenth century, became a bit strained as the day
along with the renowned Dr. Poole. wore on. The trip, for Lindsay, was
About all he could remember sheer nightmare. No sane man can
was the following problem: wag his tail, he kept thinking.
( 1) Everyone who is sane can Even such fugitive grasping at
do Logic; Logical straws vanished when he
(2) No lunatics are fit to serve saw the immense squat mass of
on a jury; Giac, rising like a steel-and-con-
(3) None of your sons can do crete toad from the wastes of the
Logic. California desert. It seemed absurd
The Universal was "persons". even to think that such an impos-
The symbols were: a-able to do ing and complex structure should
Logic; b-fit to serve on a jury; c- have been reared on the mathe-
THE AMBASSADOR 41

matics of the immortal author of honeycombed. Nina came with

Alice in Wonderland, Through the him-by request.
Looking Glass and The Hunting of "1 can't do it," he told her ab-
the Snark. ruptly.
For Giac was imposing, even to "Don't worry, darling, you'll
a man biased against computers think of something," she said. She
from birth. Nor did du Fresne's tried to embrace him but he was
smugness help Lindsay's assurance too worried to respond. After a-
a bit. He explained how each of while she said, "Why not put a
the block-large preliminary feed- direct question. Ask it if it's in-
ers worked-one for mathematical fallible."
symbols, one for oral recording, a "It could hardly tell a lie on it-
third for written exposition. Each self," he replied.
worked simultaneously and in three "What if such a question in-
different ways-via drum-memory volved destruction of part of itself
banks, via punched tapes, via the in the answer?" she asked.
new "ear-tubes" that responded to "It might-though I presume du
sound. Fresne and his boys have prepared
Then there were the preliminary it for such jokers. And anyway,
synthesizers, each of which unified what sort of question would do
in vapor-plutonium tubes the find- that? Got any ideas?"
ings of its three separate feeders. "That's your department," she
Next, a towering black-metal giant said helpfully. "You're the com-
filling three walls of a cubical room puter smasher of this team."
twenty metres in each dimension, "But that was pure luck," he
came the final synthesizer, which said half-angrily. "One can't wag
coordinated the findings of the pre- his tail. . . The other can't serve
liminary synthesizers and fed them on a jury."
into Giac itself. She looked alarmed. "Darling,"
The master machine was the she said, "you aren't-"
least imposing of all. It stood like "Not yet, Honeycomb," he said,
an alabaster stele in the center of "but give me time.
an immense chamber arranged like "It's got to be something about
a theater-in-the-round. But du this Mars-Earth problem," he went
Fresne, peering through his straw- on after a long silence. "Listen:
berry spectacles, said gloatingly, how can Mars develop if it's in the
"Don't be deceived by the size, spot of the Red Queen-has to run
ladies and gentlemen. All but what like hell just to stay where it is
you see of Giac is underground. It thanks to Earth's dumping poli-
is contained in an all-metal cell cies?"
one million cubic metres in volume.
And it is infallible."
Fortunately Lindsay was given a
half hour of final preparation in
one of the small offices with which
T HE DOOR opened and closed
and Maria Bergozza was with
them. She said, "Apparently this is
the above-ground building was necessary." She was holding a glass-
42 SAM MERWIN, JR.
pellet gun in her hand, pointing it "You damned foo!!" she almost
at Lindsay. shouted. "You might have been
He said, "Why, you-!" and killed."
moved toward her. Promptly the He looked down, felt his knees
Secretary General's daughter turn to water. He said, "Omigod-
pointed the gun at Nina's tanned I thought I was still wearing the
midriff. He stopped. star. I remembered how you saved
Maria said evenly, "It's you that my life in New Orleans with your
have done this to me, Nina. You've diamond evening bag!"
had all the fun while I've had to He sat down-hard. From the
pour tea for papa at his damned floor Maria whimpered, i'What are
functions. You've fouled up our you going to do to me?"
plans with your meddling down in Nina said, "I ought to kill you,
New Orleans. And now you've you know, but it would cause too
taken Zale, as you take everything much of a stink. So beat it and let
else you take a fancy to." us think. You'll be hearing from
"But you tried to kill him," said me later. What you hear will de-
Nina. "Why should you care?" pend on how you handle yourself
"He would have been a martyr from now on. Understand?"
-and you wouldn't have had When she had slunk out Lindsay
him," said Maria, her gun hand said, "What broke her up?"
steady. "I know it's going to ruin Nina dropped the gun into her
me to kill you-but my whole life bag casually, said, "Now I know
is ruined anyway. And this way at you're lucky, you thin slob. You
least I can sacrifice it for the happened to stumble right onto her
cause."
"The cause of interplanetary allergy. She can't stand being
war?" said Lindsay, in his turn in- thought of as a third-rate lover.
credulous. Hot rage rose within That's why she's always been jeal-
him, "You third-rate tramp!" He ous of me-because I have top-
stepped squarely into the line of model rating and she could never
fire, thrust his left breast in front make it. She's too damned con-
of the muzzle of her gun. Behind cerned with pleasing herself to
him Nina screamed. please anyone else. She flunked
But Maria didn't fire. Instead out at fourteen."
she sneezed-sneezed and sneezed "Then why didn't you pull it?"
again. Her gun hand gyrated wildly Lindsay asked her, astonished.
as she doubled in a paroxysm and "Because," Nina said thought-
Nina moved past Lindsay to pluck fully, "I'm not conditioned to think
the weapon from her. that way. It's horribly rude here on
"Don't call me-krrrrashew!- Earth to stir up other people's aller-
third-rate," she managed to gasp gies. As you reminded me last night,
before the blonde sent her sprawl- you rat, we're all people in glass
ing with a very efficient right cross houses."
to the chin. "But I didn't even know. . ."
Nina turned on Lindsay angrily. muttered Lindsay.
THE AMBASSADOR 43
"You hit it though," she re- ly. "Should the governors of Mars,
minded him. "And you're going to whose responsibilities lie at least
hit it again out there in exactly as much in the economic improve-
five minutes." ment of their own world as in inter-
world harmony, permit their planet
to receive goods which retard that

L INDSAY was extremely con-

scious of the eyes of the vidar
cameras upon him as President
economic development so that it
becomes a race to maintain current
unsatisfactory standards, merely
Giovannini, having finished his in- because certain computers on
troductory speech, led him to the Earth are fed false facts to permit
alabaster stele in the center of continuation of some illogical form
Giac's great central chamber and of government or social system-or
turned him over to du Fresne, should the governors of Mars per-
whose official robe hung unevenly mit their planet to suffer because
from the hump of his harness. of computer illogic in the name of
Lindsay handed the Minister of a highly doubtful status quo on the
Computation the question he had parent planet?"
prepared on paper, was brusquely He walked slowly back to his
told, "Read it please, Ambassador." place and sat down, almost feeling
He cleared his throat and began. the silence around him. Nina whis-
"I am asking a question highly pered, "What in hell does it
pertinent to the welfare and future mean?"
amity of the United Worlds," he Lindsay whispered back, "It's a
said slowly. More specifically to the bit of the iron dog and the whale,
future amity of Earth and Mars. a bit of the Red Queen, a bit of the
It is a simple question without in- suicide idea-and something else.
volved mathematical qualifications Let's see if it works."
-but one that no computer and no Lindsay watched du Fresne,
man has thus far been able to an- whose moment of triumph was
swer correctly. marred by his obvious discomfort.
"It is this continued failure of The twisted little man was very
computers to come up with a logi- busy running the question into its
cal answer in the full frame of in- various forms for submission to the
terplanetary conditions that has feeder units, whose mouths gaped
done much to make the people of like hungry nestlings along part of
my planet feel that no computer is one side wall.
trustworthy to make decisions in- If du Fresne failed him...
volving human beings." It was a long nervous wait.
He paused, looked covertly at du Lights flickered in meaningless
Fresne, repressed a smile. The Min- succession on subsidiary instrument
ister of Computation was already boards and du Fresne darted
showing signs of distress. He was about like a bespectacled buzzard,
shaking his head, making little studying first this set of symbols,
pawing motions toward his glasses. then that one.
"Here it is," Lindsay said quick- Lindsay glanced at Maria, who
44 SAM MERWIN, JR.
sat huddled beside her father be- entire listening world. President
yond the president. To break the Giovannini, suddenly white, said
suspense he whispered to Nina, inelegantly, "Son of a bitch!"
"What about her?" Nina laughed out loud and
Nina whispered back, "I've got gripped Lindsay's arm tightly.
it taped. I'm going to give her a "You've done it, darling-you've
nice empty job on the moon-one done it!" she cried.
with a big title attached. It will "On the contrary," he said quiet-
get her out of the way-she can't ly, «1 haven't done it; du Fresne
do any harm there-and make her did it." And as he looked toward
feel she's doing something. Be- the Minister of Computation that
sides"-a faint malicious pause- little man fainted.
"there are still four men to every
woman on Luna. And they aren't
choosy." UT GIAC kept right on. It
"You're a witch," said Lindsay.
He snickered and someone shushed
B blanked out briefly, then once
more the spiral of red figures be-
him. Looking up he saw that gan to work its way around and
things were happening. up the stele. And once again the
"In exactly"-du Fresne glanced pleasant voice announced, "Inter-
up at a wall chronometer-"six planetary unity depends upon
seconds Giac will give its answer." computer illogic."
They seemed more like six years It blanked out, began again.
to Lindsay. Then the alabaster And this time, from somewhere in
stele in the center of the floor came the building, came the thud of a
abruptly to life. A slow spirat of muffled explosion. A spiral of green
red, composed of a seemingly end- symbols began to circle the stele,
less stream of high mathematical then a spiral of yellow. The red
symbols, started up from its base, reached the top first and the Bing
worked rapidly around and around Crosby voice began again, "Inter-
it like an old-fashioned barber- planetary unity de-"
pole's markings, moving ever up- The green and yellow spirals
ward toward its top. reached the top. A few seconds of
"Effective-very effective," mur- sheer Jabberwocky emerged from
mured President Giovannini. the loudspeaker, ending in a chorus
Suddenly a voice sounded, a of, "Illogic, illogic, illogic..." with
pleasant voice specially geared to the words overlapping.
resemble the voice of the greatest Panic began to show itself. The
of twentieth-century troubadors, president gasped and Maria sud-
Bing Crosby. It said, "Interplane- denly shrieked. Frightened on-
tary unity depends upon computer lookers crowded toward the door.
illogic." The president looked from the ma-
There was a gasp-a gasp that chine to Lindsay, bewildered.
seemed to emerge not only from the Lindsay got up and strode to-
company present but, in reverse, ward the microphone by the stele.
through the vidarcasters from the He shouted into it, "Turn off the
THE AMBASSADOR 45
computer-turn it off." "So I believe it is safe to say that
And, moments later, while the you may rely upon your computers
angry hot glow of the stele faded -as long as they do not deal with
slowly, he said, "People of Earth, problems affecting yourselves and
this is Lindsay of Mars. Please be ourselves. For those you need hu-
calm while I explain. There is man speculation, human debate,
nothing wrong with Giac or any above all human judgment!"
of your computers." He paused, President Giovannini, able poli-
added ruefully, "At least nothing tician that he was, had joined Lind-
that cannot be repaired in short say at the microphone, put an arm
order where Giac is concerned. across his shoulders, said, "I feel
"I am going to ask to look once humble-yes, humble-in the great
more at the question I submitted lesson this great envoy from our
to this machine-and to the lan- sister planet had taught us. What
guage tape fed into it by the Hon- they can do on Mars we can do
orable Mr. du Fresne." He waited on Earth."
while they were brought to him, When at last they were clear of
scanned them, smiled, said, "No the the vidar cameras Lindsay grinned
fault was not with Giac. Nor was and said, "Nice going, Johnny-
it consciously with Mr. du Fresne. you'll have more voters than ever
The question was loaded. come next election."
"You see, I happen to know that Giovannini simply stared at him.
your Minister's belief in computers His eyes began to water, his nose
is such that he suffers an involun- to run and he turned away, grop-
tary reaction when he hears them ing for an evapochief.
defamed. I defamed computers Lindsay looked after him and
both in my preliminary address and shook his head. He said to Nina.
in my question. And when he had who had rejoined him, "How about
to transfer to tape the phrase '-or, that? Johnny's in tears."
should the Governors of Mars per- "Of course he is," snapped
mit their planet to suffer because Nina. "He's allergic to the word
of computer illogic in the name of 'voters'. Night soil, but you're sim-
a highly doubtful status quo on the ple!"
parent planet?'-when he trans- Lindsay felt his own eyes water.
ferred that sentence to tape he was He sneezed, violently, for the first
physically unable to write the time since coming to Earth. Con-
phrase 'computer illogic'. cerned, Nina said, "What's wrong,
"Involuntarily he changed it to darling? Have I done something?"
'computer logic' with the result "If you ever say 'night soil'
that the question was utterly mean- again ..." he began. Then, "Krra-
ingless and caused Giac's tubes to chooooo!" He felt as if the top of
short circuit. None of the recent his head were missing.
computer failures was the fault of Nina hugged him, grinning like
the machines-it was the fault of a gamine. "I'll .'lave it for very spe-
the men who fed them material cial occasions," she promised.
to digest. • • • THE END
Dark was the Ryzga mountain and forbidding; steep
were its cliffs and sheer its crevasses. But its outward
perils could not compare with the Ryzgas themselves,
who slept within, ready to wake and conquer . . .

WHEN
THE MOUNTAIN
SHOOK
By Robert Abernathy
Illustrated by Kelly Freas

T SUNSET they were in sight should be three miles beyond this

A of the Ryzga mountain.
Strangely it towered among the
pass." He stood rigid, trying to
catch an echo of the Watcher's
cliffs and snow-slopes of the sur- thoughts, but there was nothing.
rounding ranges: an immense and Perhaps the old man was resting.
repellently geometric cone, black, From the other direction, the long
its sides blood-tinted by the dying way that they two had comc, it was
sun. not difficult to sense the thought of
Neena shivered, even though the Groz. That thought was powerful,
surrounding cold could not reach and heavy with vengeance.
her. The ice-wind blew from the "Hurry," said Neena. "They're
glacier, but Var's love was round closer than they were an hour ago."
her as a warming cloak, a cloak that She was beautiful and defiant,
glowed softly golden in the decpen- facing the red sunset and the black
ing twilight, even as her love was mountain. Var sensed her fear, and
about him. the love that had conquered it.
Var said, "The Watcher's cave He felt a wave of tenderness and
47
48 ROBERT ABERNATHY
bitterness. For him she had come to hoary back of the glacier, and as
this. For the flame that had sprung they came nearer they saw why:
between them at the Truce of New the cave entrance was sealed by a
Grass, she had challenged the feud sheet of ice, a frozen waterfall that
of their peoples and had left her fell motionless from the rocks
home, to follow him. Now, if her above. They heard no sound.
father and his kinsmen overtook The two young people stared for
them, it would be death for Val', a long minute, intrigued and fear-
and for Neena living shame. Which ful. Both had heard of this place,
of the two was worse was no longer and the ancient who Jived there to
a simple problem to Val', who had keep watch on the Ryzga mountain,
grown much older in the last days. as a part of the oldest legends of
"Wait," he commanded. While their childhood; but neither had
she waited he spun a dream, attach- been here before.
ing it to the crags that loomed over But this was no time for shyness.
the pass, and to the frozen ground Val' eyed the ice-curtain closely to
underfoot. It was black night, as make sure that it was real, not
it would really be when Groz and dream-stuff; then he struck it bold-
his henchmen reached this place; ly with his fist. It shattered and fell
lurid fire spewed from the Ryzga in a rain of splinters, sparkling in
mountain, and strange lights the light that poured from within.
dipped above it; and for good
measure there was an avalanche in
the dream, and hideous beasts HEY FELT the Watcher rouse,
rushed snapping and ravening from
the crevices of the rock.
T heard his footsteps, and finally
saw him-a shrunken old man,
"Oh!" cried Neena in involun- white-haired, with a lined beardless
taryalarm. face. The sight of him, more
Val' sighed, shaking his head. "It marred by age than anyone they
won't hold them for long, but it's had ever seen before, was disap-
the best I can do now. Come on." pointing. They had expected some-
There was no path. Now they thing more-an ancient giant, a
were descending the steeper face of tower of wisdom and strength. The
the sierra, and the way led over bot- Watcher was four hundred years
tomless crevasses, sheer drops and old; beside him even Groz, who had
sheer ascents, sheets of traitorous always seemed so ancient, was like
glare ice. Place after place had to a boy.
be crossed on the air, and both grew The Watcher peered at them in
weary with the effort such crossings turn. "Welcome," he said in a
cost. They hoarded their strength, cracked voice. He did not speak
helping one another; one alone again; the rest of his conversation
might never have won through. was in thought only. "Welcome in-
It was starry night already when deed. I am too much alone here."
they saw the light from the "You were asleep!" said Var.
Watcher's cave. The light shone Shock made his thought accusing,
watery and dim from beneath the though he had not meant to be.
WHEl'l THE MOUNTAIN SHOOl< 49
The old man grinned toothlessly. the feud between our families. But
"Never fear. Asleep or awake, I our flight was found out too soon.
watch. Come in! You're letting in They cut us off and forced us into
the wind." the mountains, and now they are
Inside the cave it was warm as only a few hours behind us."
summer. Val' saw with some sur- "A pity, indeed. I would like to
prise that all the walls were help you-but, you understand, I
sheathed in ice-warm to the touch, am the Mountain Watcher. I must
hound fast against melting by the be above feuds and families."
VVatcher's will. Light blazed in re- Val' nodded somberly, thinking
flections from the ice walls, till that an old recluse would in any
there was no shadow in the place. case be able to do little for them
Behind them began a tinkling of against Groz and his violent kins-
falling water, thawed from the gla- folk.
cial ridges above to descend sheet- "And what will you do now?"
wise over the cave mouth, freezing Val' grinned mirthlessly. "We
as it fell into lengthening icicles. haven't much choice, since they're
The old man gazed at his work for overtaking us. I have only one idea
a moment, then turned question- left: we can go where Groz may
ingly to the young pair. 'fear to follow us."
"We need a little rest out of the "To the mountain, you mean."
cold," said Val'. "And food, if you "And into it, if need be."
can spare it. We're pursued." The Watcher was broodingly si-
"Yes, yes. You shall have what I lent; his eyes shifted to Neena,
can give you. Make yourselves com- where she nestled by Var's side. He
fortable, and in one minute . . . asked, "And you-are you willing
Pursued, eh? A pity. I see the world to follow your lover in this?"
is as bad as it was when I was last Neena returned his gaze without
in it." flinching; then she looked sidelong
Hot food and drink were before at Val', and her lips curled with a
them almost at once. The Watcher proud and tender mockery. "Fol-
regarded them with compassion as low? Why, I will lead, if his cour-
their eyes brightened and some of age should fail him."
the shadow of weariness lifted from
them. "You have stolen your
enemy's daughter, no doubt, young
man? Such things happened when T HE OLD MAN said, "It is no
part of my duty to dissuade you
I was young." from this thing. You are free per-
Warming to the old man now, sons. But I must be sure that you
Val' sketched his and Neena's his- know what you are doing. That is
tory briefly. "We should have been the second part of the law the First
safe among my people by now. And Watcher made: to guard lest the
before very long, I'm sure, I would unwary and the ignorant should
have performed some deed which bring harm on themselves and on
Groz would recognize as a worthy all men."
exploit, and would thus have healed "We know the stories," Val' said
50 ROBERT ABERNATHY
brusquely. "In the hollow heart of cause they wanted the stars.
their mountain the Ryzgas sleep, as "Because of them we must build
they chose to do when their world with dreams instead of iron, and
crumbled. But if they are wakened, our only fire is that of the Sun, and
the mountain will tremble, and the even now, two thousand years later,
Ryzgas will come forth." the Earth is still slowly recovering
"Do you believe that?" from the pangs and poison of that
"As one believes stories." age. If you turn up the sad in the
"It is true," said the Watcher plain where the wild herds graze,
heavily. "In my youth I penetrated you will find numberless fragments
farther into the mountain than any- of rusted or corroded metal, bits of
one before, farther even than did glass and strange plastic substances,
the First Watcher. I did not see the debris of artifacts still showing the
sleepers, nor will any man until they marks of their shaping-the scat-
come again, but I met their sentries, tered wreckage of the things they
the sentinel machines that guard made. And we-we too are a rem-
them now as they have for two nant, the descendants of the few
thousand years. When I had gone out of all humanity that survived
that far, the mountain began to when the Ryzgas' world went down
shake, the force that is in the Earth in flame and thunder.
rumbled below, and I returned in "In the last generation of their
time." Now for the first time Var power the Ryzgas knew by their
sensed the power in the old man's science that the race of man would
look, the power of four hundred endure them no longer. They made
years' wisdom. Var stared down at ready their weapons, they mined
his hands. the cities and the factories for
"The Ryzgas also were men," destruction, making sure that their
said the Watcher. "But they were works and their knowledge would
such a race as the world has not perish with them. Meanwhile they
seen before or since. There were ty- redoubled the yoke and the punish-
rannies before the Ryzgas, there ments, hastening the completion of
was lust for power, and atrocious the last of the starships.
cruelty; but such tyranny, power, "From the memories that the old
and cruelty as theirs, had never Watchers have left here, and from
been known. They ruled the Earth the memories of dead men that still
for four generations, and the Earth echo in the air, I have gathered a
was too little for them. They laid picture of that world's end. I will
the world waste, stripped it of show it to you •••"
metals and feuls and bored to its
heart for energy, poisoned its seas
AR AND NEENA stared, un-
and its air with the fume of their
works, wrung its peoples dry for V stirring, with wide vacant eyes,
while the old man wove a dream
their labor ... and in each of those
four generations they launched a around them, and the bright ice-
ship of space. They were great and cave faded from their vision, and
evil as no other people has been, be- they saw~
WHEN THE MOUNTAIN SHOOI< 51
Black starless night, a sky of and it was leaving.
rolling smoke above the greatest It poised motionless. For an in-
city that was ever built. Only the stant the burning city lay mute;
angry light of fires relieved the then the millions found voice. Some
city's darkness-that, and the blue- roared ferocious threats and curses;
white lightning flashes that silhou- others cried desolately-wait!
etted the naked skeletons of build- Then the whole city, the dark
ings and were followed by thunder tumuli of its buildings and its leap-
and a shaking of the earth. ing fires and tormented faces, and
Along lightless streets, half the black sky over it, seemed to
choked with rubble and with the twist and swim, like a scene under
dead, poured a mad, hating horde. water when a great fish sweeps past,
The recurrent flashes lit scarred and the ship was gone.
faces, naked bodies blackened and The stunned paralysis fell apart
maimed fom the hell of the work- in fury. Flame towered over the
shops where the Ryzgas' might had citadel. The hordes ran and
been forged, eyes that stared white shrieked again toward the central
and half sightless from the glare of inferno, and the city burned and
the furnaces, gnarled hands that burned ...
now at long last clutched the weap-
ons of the last rebellion-a rebellion
without hope of new life on a world
gutted and smoldering from the ful-
filment of the Ryzgas' dream, with-
V AR BLINKED dazedly in the
shadowless glow of the ice-cave.
His arm tightened about Neena till
out slogans other than a cry for she gasped. He was momentarily
blood. uncertain that he and she were real
Before them death waited and here, such had been the force
around the citadel where the mas- of the dream, a vision of such scope
ters still fought. All round, from the and reality as Var had never seen-
lowest and most poisonous levels of no, lived through-before. With
the shattered city, the slaves deep respect now he gazed upon the
swarmed up in their millions. And bent old man who was the Moun-
the lightning blazed, and the city tain Watcher.
howled and screamed and burned. "Some of the Ryzgas took flight
Then, unbelievably, the thunder to the stars, and some perished on
fell silent, and the silence swept out- Earth. But there was a group of
ward like a wave, from ruined street them who believed that their time
to street. The mouths that had to rule would come again. These
shouted their wrath were speech- raised a black mountain from the
less, and the rage-blinded eyes were Earth's heart, and in hollows within
lifted in sudden awe. From the cen- it cast themselves into deathless
ter, over the citadel, an immense sleep, their deathless and lifeless
white globe soared upward, rising sentinels round them, to wait till
swiftly without sound. someone dare arouse them, or until
They had never seen its like, but their chosen time-no one knows
they knew. It was the last starship, surely.
52 ROBERT ABERNATHY

"I have told you the story you and he had forgotten how it was.
know, and have shown you a He came to his feet in one quick
glimpse of the old time, because I movement, realizing in that action
must make sure that you do not that sleep had refreshed his mind
approach the mountain in igno- and body-realizing also that a
rance. Our world is unwise and footstep had wakened him. Across
sometimes evil, full of arrogance, the cave he faced a young man who
folly, and passion that are in the watched him coolly with dark
nature of man. Yet it is a happy piercing eyes that were familiar
world, compared to that the Ryzgas though he did not know the face.
made and will make again." Neena sat up and stifled a cry of
The Watcher eyed them specula- fright. Var growled, "Who are you?
tively. "Before all," he said finally, Where's the Watcher?"
"this is a world where you are free The other flashed white teeth in
to risk wakening the old tyrants, if a smile. "I'm the Watcher," he an-
in your own judgment your great swered. "Often I become a youth
need renders the chance worth tak- at morning, and relax into age as
ing." the day passes. A foolish amuse-
Neena pressed her face against ment, no doubt, but amusements
Var's shoulder, hiding her eyes. In are few here."
her mind as it groped for his there "You made us fall asleep. Groz
was a confusion of horror and pity. will be on us-"
Var looked grimly at the Watcher, "Groz and his people could not
and would have spoken; but the detect your thoughts as you slept.
Watcher seemed suddenly a very They were all night chasing elusive
long way off, and Var could no dreams on the high ridges, miles
longer feel his own limbs, his face away."
was a numb mask. Dully he heard Var passed a hand across be-
,the old man say, "You are tired. wildered eyes. Neena said softly,
Best sleep until morning." "Thank you, Watcher."
Var strove to cry out that there "Don't thank me. I take no sides
was no time, that Groz was near in your valley feuds. But now you
and that sleep was for infants and are rested, your minds are clear. Do
the aged, but his intention sank and you still mean to go on to the R yzga
drowned under wave upon wave of mountain?"
unconquerable languor. The bright Not looking at the Watcher, Var
cave swam and dissolved; his eye- muttered unsteadily, "We have no
lids closed. alternative."
There was a liquid tinkling as the
ice-curtain collapsed; the fresh
AR WOKE. Daylight glim- breeze of morning swept into the
V mered through the ice of the
cave mouth. He had been uncon-
cave. The youth beckoned to them,
and they followed him outside.
scious, helpless, for hours! At the The glacial slope on which the
thought of that, panic gripped him. cavern opened faced toward the
He had not slept since childhood, mountain. It rose black and forbid-
WHEN THE MOUNTAIN SHOOK 53
ding in the dawn as it had by sun- change. He said gravely, "Very
set. To right and left of it, the grand well. I will give you what knowl-
cliffs, ocher and red, were lit splen- edge I have that may help you
didly by the morning sun, but the when you enter the Ryzga moun-
mountain of the Ryzgas drank in tain."
the light and gave nothing back. Quickly, he impressed on them
Below their feet the slope fell what he had learned of the struc-
away into an opaque sea of fog, fill- ture of the mountain and of its
ing a mile-wide gorge. There was a guardian machines. Var closed his
sound of turbulent water, of a river eyes, a little dizzied by the rapid
dashed from rock to rock in its flood of detail.
struggle toward the plain, but the "You are ready to go," said the
curling fog hid everything. Watcher. He spoke aloud, and his
"You have an alternative," said voice was cracked and harsh. Var
the Watcher crisply. The two took opened his eyes in surprise, and saw
their eyes from the black mountain that the Watcher had become again
and gazed at him in sudden hope, the hoary ancient of last night.
but his face was unsmiling. "It is Var felt a twinge of unfamiliar
this. You, Var, can flee up the can- emotion; only by its echo in Neena's
yon to the north, by a way I will mind did he recognize it as a sense
show you, disguising your thoughts of guilt. He said stiffly, "You don't
and masking your presence as well blame us?"
as you are able, while the girl goes "You have taken life in your own
in the other direction, southward, hands," rasped the Watcher. "Who
without seeking to conceal herself. does that needs no blessing and feels
Your pursuers will be deceived and no curse. Go!"
follow her, and by the time they
catch her it will be too late for them
to overtake Var."
That possibility had not occurred T fog
HEY GROPED through the
above blank abysses that
to them at all. Var and Neena hid the snarling river, crept hand
looked at one another. Then by in hand, sharing their strength,
common consent they blended their across unstable dream bridges from
minds into one. crag to crag. Groz and his pack, in
They thought, in the warm in- their numbers, would cross the
timacy of unreserved understand- gorge more surely and swiftly.
ing: HIt would work: I-you would When Var and Neena set foot at
make the sacrifice of shame and last on the cindery slope of the
mockery-yet these can be borne- great volcanic cone, they sensed
that I-you might be saved from that the pursuit already halved
death-which is alone irreparable their lead.
... But to become I and you again They stood high on the side of
-that cannot be borne." the Ryzga mountain, and gazed
They said in unison, "No. Not at the doorway. It was an opaque
that." yet penetrable well of darkness,
The Watcher's face did not opening into the face of a lava cliff,
54 ROBERT ABERNATHY
closed only by an intangible curtain he swung his staff up like a weapon,
-so little had the Ryzgas. feared and for the two on the mountain-
those who might assail them in their side the world turned upside down,
sleep. the mountain's black shoulder hung
Var sent his thoughts probing be- inverted above them and the dizzy
yond the curtain, listened intently, gulf of sky was beneath. Var fought
head thrown back, to their echoes for footing with his balance gone,
that returned. The tunnel beyond feeling Neena reel against him until,
slanted steeply downward. Var's summoning all his strength, he
hands moved, molding a radiant broke the grip of the illusion and
globe from the feeble sunshine that the world seemed to right itself.
straggled through the fo~-bank. The mist billowed again and Groz
With an abrupt motion he hurled was out of sight, but they could
it. The sun-globe vanished, as if the hear him exhorting his men to
darkness had drunk it up, but haste.
though sight did not serve they both Neena's face was deadly pale and
sensed that it had passed through to her lips trembled, but her urgent
light up the depths beyond. For whisper said, "Come on!"
within the mountain something Together they plunged into the
snapped suddenly alert-some- curtain of darkness.
thing alive yet not living, seeing yet
blind. They felt light-sensitive cells
tingle in response, felt electric cur-
rents sting along buried, long-idle A TNeena
VAR'S thought command
froze instantly. "Feel
circuits ... that!" he muttered, and she, lis-
The two stood shivering together. tening, sensed it too: the infinites-
The morning wind stirred, fresh- imal trickle of currents behind
ening, the fog lifted a little, and what appeared to be a blank tunnel
they heard a great voice crying, wall, a rising potential that seemed
"There they are!" to whisper Ready . .. ready . ..
Var and Neena turned. Far out The sun-globe floated behind
in the sea of fog, on a dream bridge them, casting light before them
that they could not see, stood Groz. down the featureless tunnel that
He shook the staff he carried. It sloped always toward the moun-
was too far to discern the rage that tain's heart. Var summoned it, and
must contort his features, but the it drifted ahead, a dozen feet, a
thought he hurled at them was a little more-
soundless bellow: "Young fools! Between wall and wall a blinding
I've caught you now!" spindle of flame sprang into being,
Behind Groz the figures of his pulsed briefly with radiant energy
followers loomed up as striding that pained the eyes, and went out.
shadows. Neena's hand tightened The immaterial globe of light
on Var's. Var sent a thought of danced on before them.
defiance: "Go back! Or you'll drive "Forward, before the charge
us to enter the mountain!" builds up again!" said Var. A few
Groz seemed to hesitate. Then feet further on, they stumbled over
WHEN THE MOUNTAIN SHOOK 55
a pile of charred bones. Someone its vibrations became sound, and its
else had made it only this far. It sound was like that of the terrible
was farther than the Watcher had city which they had seen in the
gone into these uncharted regions, dream. Through the slow-rolling
and only the utmost alertness of thunder of the hidden machines
mind and sense had saved them seemed to echo the death-cries of a
from death in traps like this. But as billion slaves, the despair of all flesh
yet the way was not blocked ... and blood before their monstrous
Then they felt the mountain be- and inhuman power.
gin to tremble. A very faint and re- Without warning, lights went on.
mote vibration at first, then an in- Blinking in their glare, V ar and
creasingly potent shuddering of the Neena saw that fifty paces before
floor under their feet and the walls them the way opened out into a
around them. Somewhere far be- great rounded room that was like-
low immense energies were stirring wise ablaze with light. Cautiously
for the first time in centuries. The they crept forward to the threshold
power that was in the Earth was of that chamber at the mountain's
rising; great wheels commenced to heart.
turn, the mechanical servitors of Its roof was vaulted; its circular
the Ryzgas woke one by one and be- walls were lined with panels
gan to make ready, while their mas- studded with gleaming control but-
ters yet slept, for the moment of re- tons, levers, colored lights. As they
birth that might be near at hand. watched light flicked on and off in
From behind, up the tunnel, changing patterns, registering the
came a clear involuntary thought progressive changes in the vast
of dismay, then a directed thought, complex of mechanisms for which
echoing and ghostly in the confine- this must be the central control
ment of the dark burrow: station. Behind those boards cir-
"Stapf-before you go too far!" cuits opened and closed in bewilder-
Var faced that way and thought ing confusion; the two invaders felt
coldly: "Only if you return and let the rapid shifting of magnetic
us go free." ~elds, the fury of electrons boiling
In the black reaches of the shaft In vacuum ...
his will groped for and locked with For long moments they forgot
that of Groz, like the grip of two the pursuit, forgot everything in
strong wrestlers. In that grip each wonder at this place whose remotest
knew with finality that the other's like they had never seen in the sim-
stubbornness matched his own- plicity of their machineless culture.
that neither would yield, though In all the brilliant space there was
the mountain above them and the no life. They looked at one another,
world outside should crumble to the same thought coming to both
ruin around them. at once: perhaps, after two thou-
"Follow us, then!" sand years, the masters were dead
They plunged deeper into the after all, and only the machines
mountain. And the shaking of the remained? As if irresistibly drawn,
mountain increased with every step, they stepped over the threshold.
56 ROBERT ABERNATHY
There was a clang of metal like ate gaze of a scientist examining a
a signal. Halfway up the wall oppo- new, but not novel, species of in-
site, above a narrow ramp that de- sect. His thoughts seemed to click,
scended between the instrument like metal parts of a mechanism
panels, a massive doorway swung falling into places prepared for
wide, and in its opening a figure them. The image occurred oddly to
stood. Val', to whom such a comparison
Val' and Neena huddled frozen- would ordinarily have been totally
ly, half expecting each instant to strange.
be their last. And the Ryzga too "Culture: late barbarism. Hand-
stood motionless, looking down at work of high quality-good. Phys-
them. ically excellent stock . . ." There
was a complicated and incompre-
hensible schemata of numbers and
E WAS a man of middle abstract forms. "The time: two
H height and stocky build, clad
in a garlllent of changing colors, of
thousand years-more progress
might have been expected, if any
fabric delicate as dream-stuff. In survivors at all initially postulated;
his right hand, with the care one but this will do. The pessimists were
uses with a weapon, he grasped a mistaken. We can begin again."
gleaming metal tube; his other Then, startlingly super-imposed on
hand rested as for support against the cool progression of logical
the frame of the doorway. That, thought, came a wave of raw emo-
and his movements when he came tion, devastating in its force. It was
slowly down the ramp toward them, a lustful image of a world once
conveyed a queer suggestion of more obedient, crawling, laboring
weariness or weakness, as if he were to do the Ryzgas' will-toward the
yet not wholly roused from his two stars, the stars! The icy calculation
millenia of slumber. But the Ryzga's resumed: "Immobilize these and
manner and his mind radiated a the ones indicated in the passage
consciousness of power, a pride and above. Then wake the rest ..."
assurance' of self that smote them Val' was staring in fascination at
like a numbing blow. the Ryzga's face. It was a face
With a new shock, Val' realized formed by the custom of unques-
that the Ryzga's thoughts were tioned command; yet it was lined
quite open, They had a terse, dis- by a deeply ingrained weariness,
connected quality that was strange the signs of premature age-denied,
and unsettling, and in part they overridden by the driving will they
were couched in alien and unin- had sensed a moment earlier. It
telligible symbols. But there was no was a sick man's face.
block. Apparently the Ryzga felt no The Ryzga's final thought clicked
need to close his mind in the pres- into place: Decision! He turned to-
ence of inferior creatures ... ward the switchboard behind him,
He paused with his back to the reaching with practised certainty
central control panel, and studied for one spot upon it.
the interlopers with the dispassion- Neena screamed.
WHEN THE MOUNTAIN SHOOK 57
Between the Ryzga and the con- plicated arrangements of matter
trol panel a nightmare shape reared and energy to do simple tasks-it
up seven feet tall, flapping black was because you knew no other
amorphous limbs and flashing red way."
eyes and white fangs. The Ryzga Behind the hate-filled eyes the
recoiled, and the weapon in his cold brain tried to reason still.
hand came up. There was an in- "Barbarians . . . ? Our party was
stantaneous glare like heat light- wrong after all. After us the ma-
ning, and the monster crumpled in chine civilization could never rise
on itself, twitched briefly and van- again, because it was a fire that
ished. consumed its fuel. After us man
But in that moment a light of could not survive on the Earth, be-
inspiration had flashed upon Var, cause the conditions that made him
and it remained. As the Ryzga great were gone. The survivors
stretched out his hand again, Var must be something else-capacities
acted. The Ryzga froze, teetering undeveloped by our science-after
off balance and almost falling, as a us the end of man, the beginning
numbing grip closed down on all ... But those of us who chose to die
his motor nerves. were right."
Holding that grip, Var strode The tide of hate and sick desire
across the floor and looked straight rose up to drown all coherence. The
into the Ryzga's frantic eyes. They Ryzga made a savage, wholly futile
glared back at him with such hatred effort to lift the weapon in his para-
and such evil that for an instant he lyzed hand. Then his eyes rolled up-
almost faltered. But the Ryzga's ward, and abruptly he went limp
efforts, as he strove to free himself and fell in a heap, like a mechanical
from the neural hold, were as mis- doll whose motive power has failed.
directed and unavailing as those of Var felt Neena beside him, and
a child who has not learned to drew her close. As she sobbed her
wrestle with the mind. relief, he continued to look down
Var had guessed right. When absently at the dead man. When at
Neena in her terror had flung a last he raised his head, he saw that
dream monster into the Ryzga's the drama's end had had a further
way-a mere child's bogey out of a
audience. In the outer doorway,
fairy tale-the Ryzga had not re-
backed by his clansmen, stood Groz,
cognized it as such, but had taken
it for a real being. Var laughed gazing first in stupefaction at the
aloud, and with great care, as one fallen Ryzga, then with something
communicates with an infant, he like awe at Var.
projected his thoughts into the Var eyed him for a long moment;
other's mind. "There will be no then he smiled, and asked, "Well,
new beginning for you in our world, Groz? Is our feud finished, or does
Ryzga! In two thousand years, your ambition for a worthy son-in-
we've learned some new things. law go beyond the conqueror of the
Now at last I understand why you Ryzgas?"
built so many machines, such com- • • • THE END
The social engineer was only doing his duty when he tried to
force Lansing out of his rut of habit and routine. He forgot
that ruts themselves have a habit of turning in surprising
directions!

ACT of PASSION
By Raymond E. Banks
Illustrated by Paul Orban

M R.usualLANSING rose at 6: 10 as
that morning, dressed,
the city. Aboard the commuter's
aircar he shoved a nickel in the slot,
ate a poached egg for breakfast pulled out a facsimile paper and
and paused for a moment before a fell to studying the stock-market,
mirror before he put on his old- especially his small Martian hold-
fashioned hat. ings and those new Venusian
Ought to do something about stocks that he had an eye on.
those gray hairs, he thought. Plenty "Your attention please! No smok-
of men his age used Dyall; it would ing on the aircar!" The robot voice
make him look ten years younger. brushed uselessly against his ear as
But some naturalistic, unhypocriti- it did every morning. He continued
cal streak inside him made him put to smoke, conscious of the envy of
on his hat with a sigh and give up the other commuters who smoked
the thought as he had almost every less expensive brands. But they
morning for a year. were married men who couldn't
He selected three luxurious afford such extravagance.
South American cigars from his At the office he smiled good
humidor and made a mental note morning to his friends and sank
to stop at the tobacconist's at noon into his place at the head of the
to replenish the supply, according Accounting Department. The new-
to his habit. est computing machines in the of-
He lit one, put the other two in fice glowed on his desk; his swivel
his pocket, and caught the 7: 10 to chair bore the largest, thickest seat
59
60 RAYMOND E. BANKS
pad even though his flanks were ure with suspicion.
thin. It had taken him twenty years "I'm afraid that's just the trou-
to achieve this comfortable status, ble," he said. "My social engineer-
and he sighed in delight at the de- ing reporters have been watching
licious, knotty problems of the day you, Lansing. Since the death of
lying before him. your sister, you've lived alone and
Then came the interruption. liked it. You rise at a certain hour,
It came in the form of a small eat your meals at the same places
note that shot out of a communica- and turn in at a certain hour. Like
tions cylinder on the side of his an automaton. It's dangerous."
desk. Lansing let out a strangled
"Under the provisions of Par 3b squawk. "With all the people in
of the Social Nonconformity Act, New York that are getting into
you, Franklin C. Lansing, will re- trouble because of poor adjustment
port to your social engineer with- I'd think you'd let a well-adjusted
out a second's delay. Urgent. person alone. I'd think-"
Signed Watkins, Social Engineer, Watkins held out a firm, fat
Ward Seven." hand.
Lansing made a sound in his "Give me the key to your apart-
throat which might have been a ment."
growl or might have been a snort. Lansing felt the blood drain from
his face.
"Non-compulsion!" he gasped.
W ATKINS, his social engi-
neer, had offices on the third
"Exactly. It's our job to see that
people like you don't crack up.
floor of the Haymarket Building. Your kind is the most dangerous.
Lansing stepped into the anti-grav- A few days ago a man who'd never
ity device and out again to find been in a speck of trouble all his
himself in a sumptious, institutional life stole twenty thousand dollars
office. The furnishings struck him and eloped with his secretary, a
as decadent and the other patients married woman. Thus he ruined
sat around gloomily, creating an three lives-his own, the woman's
air of tension similar to that of a and her husband's. Last week a
doctor's office. man who had lived in the same
As a man with a secure job, place for twenty-five years and
money in the bank and a way of never caused anyone trouble went
life that he liked, he did not act out on the street and killed three
deferential when he faced Watkins people with a gun. People who
across the broad, shiny desk. were strangers-that he'd never
"What's wrong with my adjust- seen before. His excuse was that he
ment?" he asked without preamble. didn't like redheaded people. Ob-
"I never have to come in except for viously a case of long, slow de-
the yearly check-ups." terioration.
Watkins was a rotund man with "The whole purpose and mean-
piercing blue eyes. He regarded ing of the Social Nonconformity
Lansing's thin, neatly-dressed fig- Act is to prevent these horrors.
ACT OF PASSION 61

You, now, you have a compulsion "Better have another, Buster. On

to orderliness that is near insanity. the house. I been in that mess my-
You revel in routine. But the hu- self. In my case they made me at-
man mind and body cannot stand tend lectures and concerts and
this supernatural order. Sooner or join the Chamber of Commerce."
later you're going to crack as a re- "I wish mine were that easy,"
sult of your compulsion to drab said Lansing. Then he had another
order. We prevent that by forcing thought and called Mr. Hedges:
you into non-compulsion and Hedges was the district social en-
breaking the routine of your life gineer over Watkins. He was not a
which you would be bound to close friend, because Lansing dis-
break in a more dangerous way liked social engineers, but he had
later. done Hedges' income tax for a
"Commit your act of passion number of years. Lansing worded
now, Lansing, before it grows into his appeal carefully, hinting that
one that is uncontrollable and dis- Watkins was probably more than
astrous!" stupid.
The social engineer flung the "'Fraid there's nothing I can
non-compulsion license on his desk do," said Hedges. "It's true that
in front of Lansing. people like you who run along
"But-but," cried Lansing. "I quietly in a rut are likely to break
don't want to commit any act of down. There are exceptions, of
passion. I'm happy. 1-" course, but Watkins is within the
The social engineer shook his law. Best thing to do is get it over
head. "After all, Lansing, we're all with in a hurry." The man's hands
human. And how long has it been sawed the air. "Do something big,"
since you've-ah-been in the com- he suggested and rang off.
pany of a woman? How long since
you've gotten drunk or had a real
argument? No-you'll have to give LANSING slipped into the bank
me the key to your apartment." aware that a couple of shadows
Watkins' expression was tri- that must be social engineering
umphant and firm. Lansing, feeling reporters followed wherever he
like the Earth had been shot out went. An unaccustomed revolver
from under him, handed over the weighted down his coat on one
key to his apartment and picked side. The gun was hot and he felt
up the non-compulsion license. . . miserable. He hated scenes any-
way, but-
Lansing took his place in a wait-
INA BAR, near the Haymarket
Building he ordered an unaccus-
ing line, still bound by his sense of
propriety and order. The bank
tomed early morning drink. When buzzed with activity, the lines mov-
the bartender saw the non-compul- ing with peristaltic life; a baby
sion certificate projecting from his squalled, somebody coughed and
pocket he slid another drink along the sunlight yellowed on the black
the bar. marble desks. .
62 RAYMOND E. BANKS
As usual, there was a man who stepped outside the bank as re-
had to purchase traveler's checks, quired by custom, but remained
so that the line Lansing chose glowering through the window to
moved slowest of alL People who make sure it was a real non-com-
had come in after him were serv- pulsion. Somewhere a police car's
iced and left again. After an in- siren began to wail, coming closer.
terminable wait he reached the The girl at the desk counted out
window, his legs a little numbed two twenties and a ten. "Fifty is
from standing. He felt that the usual," she said. Then she quickly
whole thing was already going thrust up her hands again as he
badly. shoved the gun at her. He pock-
"I'm afraid this is a robbery," he eted the money with one hand,
told the teller, pointing the gun at feeling like a small boy standing
her. He felt miserable, standing before a class and reciting.
there with the gun in his hand, ex- "Thanks," he said, starting to
pecting the guards to move in and move away. He wanted to get out
shoot without asking questions. in a hurry.
The girl's eyes widened and then "\Vait a minute, mister," she said
she saw the bit of green in his harshly. "I got to have the number
pocket. of your non-compulsion license so
"Non-compulsion?" we can get the money back."
"Uh, yes. Please put up your For the first time, Lansing began
hands." to feel somewhat unadjusted. "Ask
"How can I give you money if I the social engineers," he snapped.
put up my hands?" "They got me into this. They can
"Do as I say," frowned Lansing, pay." He strode out of the bank.
his knuckles white on the gun. A police riot squad was pulled up
The girl lifted her hands. Lan- outside. The police stood around
sing turned around to the people in hard-eyed silence, watching him
behind him. sullenly. They didn't like non-
"This is a robbery," he said. "Er compulsion either. Lansing, feeling
-non-compulsion. Please put up sillier than he could cver remem-
your hands." ber, tossed his empty gun at a de-
Instead of complying, the people tective.
stared at him dully and then, with "Here, go shoot up a social engi-
resignation, moved over to the neer," he said miserably and
other lines. A buzzer, sharp, in- walked off down the sunlit street,
sistent, rang out twice. The em- his face burning with shame and
ployees froze. sensitivity. If non-compulsion was
"Everybody hands up!" shouted supposed to stir up emotions, he
someone. "Non-compulsion." All was off to a good start.
employees' hands went up. The
people waiting shot dirty looks at
Lansing, knowing this meant de-
lay. They did not raise their hands. SHE WAS SMALL and graceful
and blonde. Almost pretty, ex-
The bank guard frowned and cept that there were crow's feet
ACT OF PASSION 63
around her eyes and mouth. But she learned, was Doris Woodring,
would do. argued about his luncheon. He was
She showed surprise as he sat sullenly aware of the two human
down at her lonely table. In the bloodhounds that were the social
Terrace Room at the Kensington engineering reporters just slipping
Hotel, lunch costs six dollars a plate, into the far corner of the room...
and you didn't sit at a stranger's The food was very rich, and
table uninvited. A frowning waiter tasty, and Mrs. Woodring chatted
was coming towards him across the with the easy social grace of the
room and sunlight gleamed on the leisured. When Lansing mentioned
rug and sparkled from the heavy his Martian holdings, they found
linen and silver. a subject of common interest, for
"What is the meaning of this?" her husband was in finance. Sud-
said the woman, with hostility. denly the luncheon was quite en-
Lansing was forced to drop his joyable.
eyes from the clear gaze. "Non- "But then," laughed Mrs. Wood-
compulsion," he muttered, his eyes ring, "that belongs to the part of
darting to the unaccustomed lux- your life you're trying to break
ury of the millionaire's hotel. He away from. We should be talking
usually had lunch at Eddie's about love instead."
where all was noise and clatter, and "Love?" he asked blushing, the
you were served by robot waiters. flow of his enjoyment brought to a
It made him feel uneasy to have a sudden halt.
real, human waiter standing there, Her teeth sparkled in a smile as
one of a vanishing race. she blew pale blue cigarette smoke
"Is this man giving you trouble, against the dense fog from his
Ma'm?" asked the waiter. South American cigar.
The woman laughed a silvery "Well, after all, from what you
laugh. "Don't be ridiculous," she say, your social engineer will expect
told the waiter. She regarded Lan- you to have a fling with women,
sing with amusement. "I had fun you being a bachelor."
on my non-compulsion," she said, "Er-fling-yes," he said running
"and I wouldn't spoil yours." a finger inside his collar. "What do
Lansing held the menu with the you think we ought to do?"
same white knuckles that had "Go somewhere where we can be
gripped the unaccustomed gun. He alone, I suppose," she said, drop-
had hoped she would drive him ping her eyes to her plate. "I was
away. Even the menu bothered going to a meeting of Concen-
him. He was used to ordering from trated Charities this afternoon, but
an electronic menu where you it isn't important. We can go to
punched keys, not something writ- my town apartment..."
ten in French. Lansing felt fear coursing
"Give me-the works," he told through his body. His experiences
the waiter self-consciously. Then he with women had been few and not
sat there brooding while the waiter exciting. And when Mrs. Woodring
and the woman, whose name, he stood up so that he got a good
 64 RAYMOND E. BANKS
look at her and the way she han- "Don't worry," said Woodring.
dled her trim body, he became "Everything will be all right.
more frightened. It was obvious You'll bc all right. Excusc me, old
that her sleekness meant experi- boy, got lots of work to do-"
ence. And Woodring rang off. Lansing
A walk in the fresh sunshine of sat there, feeling his inner palms
the park and a couple of drinks sweat.
at a bar and they were admitted
by a real, human servant to her
uptown apartment. Mrs. Wood-
ring went off to get some drinks SHE CAME BACK to the room
without the servant but with the
and Lansing paced impatiently up drinks. She was wearing a silver
and down. thing that could have been a
No! They asked too much. It was house costume and could have been
really too embarrassing. He flung pajamas. It was silken and seduc-
himself to the television phone. Be- tive. When she bent to pour, it was
side it was an address book. He obvious that there wasn't much
fumbled with the pages, his heart else.
beating in determination. Lansing saw a button and
He found the number he wanted punched in desperation.
and dialed. "What did you do that for?" she
"Get me Mr. Woodring," said asked, sitting beside him on the
Lansing imperatively to the girl on sofa.
the telephone. "It's urgent." "I want - uh - brandy," he
Presently he was looking at a gulped.
pleasant-faced man with dancing The closed-mouthed servant ap-
blue eyes, much like his wife's. peared. "Brandy," Lansing or-
"There's a man in your uptown dered, trying to control his voice.
apartment with your wife," he "Er-brandy." He tried desper-
gasped. "There's a-uh-man in ately to think of some other reasons
your-uptown apartment." to keep the servant in the room.
Woodring looked puzzled. "What He could think of none. The serv-
man?" ant poured the brandy and left
"Me," said Lansing in deter- while Doris studied him with a
mined, self-defensive anger. half-smile.
Woodring studied him in suspi- "Perhaps you don't find me at-
cion and dislike for a second. Then tractive," she said.
the clouds broke and he smiled. "Very attractive," he exploded.
"Oh," he said. "Well, thanks for "You couldn't be attractivpr, er-"
the call. Would appreciate it if She scooted up beside him.
you'd layoff my brandy, old boy. "Now look, Frank." she said seri-
It's a little low." ously. "This is non-compulsion and
Woodring had seen the corner you've got to get through with it or
of the non-compulsion license those damn social engineers will
sticking from Lansing's pocket. drive you crazy."
"But-but-" said Lansing. Lansing nodded miserably, closed
ACT OF PASSION 65
his eyes and trembled. The rose- Keep going-it may take several
petal lips touched his. Then she days." .
moved her supple body tight to "But where will I sleep tonight?"
him and she trembled excitingly in The reporter grinned. "Why not
a burning kiss. It seemed-er- try a park bench?"
burning. Argument was futile. Lansing
However, that was all. After the grimly plodded away.
embarrassment of a couple of Sometime in the middle of the
kisses she pulled away and they fell night he awoke with a sneeze. The
to talking about his investments on park bench was hard. Besides, po-
Venus. Enough was enough, and licemen kept waking him up to
obviously society couldn't cure one make him show his non-compul-
person's habit pattern by destroy- sion license. He turned over and
ing the marriage-habit pattern of sneezed again. He was going to
others. He realized this when he have a cold. And when he had a
heard his shadows, the reporters, cold-
thumping around in the outer hall, Lansing contemplated the hor-
still on guard, ready to prevent any ror of his situation staring at the
real seduction. solemn moon. A great resolve and
No wonder that other, quiet man purpose took shape inside of him,
had suddenly up and shot three firmed up and became a burning
redheads. His social engineer certainty...
must've been a redhead, decided
Lansing.
He shook hands with Mrs.
Woodring and left, feeling relieved
RED-EYED, disheveled and
sneezing, he faced Watkins
and happy. At least he'd done across the social engineer's gleam-
enough to satisfy Watkins. It had ing desk. His unshaven beard
been a strain but now they'd leave itched and he felt dirty and com-
him alone. He arrived at his apart- pletely miserable.
ment with a sigh. "I want the key to my apartment
The social engineering reporters back," he said.
were ahead of him, denying him Watkins shufHed some papers.
entrance to his place. "I'm afraid these reports show that
"Now wait a minute," said Lan- you haven't really cut loose yet,
sing. "I've gotten more or less Lansing. You're the same timid,
drunk, robbed a bank and kissed a apologetic, routinized person you've
blonde. If that doesn't take care always been."
of my hidden desires, nothing ever "I'm about to cut loose," said
will, because each of these acts is a Lansing.
monumental disturbance for me, His temples were throbbing, his
totally against the grain." mouth was dry. He sneezed once,
"No," said one, "you haven't and then he climbed up and walked
really committed an act of passion over the top of Watkins' desk. :He
yet. True, you've done all these put his foot on Watkins' chest and
things, but you haven't felt them. shoved, and the fat man went over
66 RAYMOND E. BANKS
backwards in his swivel chair with a "Give him his key," said Hedges.
crash. A wild thrill of delight "Watkins, I'm afraid you can't pre-
coursed through Lansing. fer charges. We social engineers
"Help! He's gone mad-" cried have a higher duty-to help our pa-
Watkins. tients achieve adjustment. In this
"Mad! Mad!" yelled Lansing in one case, the only passion Lansing
delight, jumping down and punch- could feel was against you. Since no
ing the chubby figure. He hadn't permanent harm was done, he has
laid an angry hand on a fellow-man acted within range of his non-com-
since his second year in high school. pulsion license. Therefore, I pro-
The first punches were uncertain nounce him free."
but he got the knack with astound-
ing quickness and let Watkins have
it in the face and body. LANSING was sick in bed suffer-
"Here's your passion!" he roared ing from his cold all that Satur-
slamming Watkins against the floor day and Sunday. He rose at 6: 10
so the whole office shook. Watkins as usual Monday morning, dressed,
slumped on the soft rug in a bloody ate a poached egg for breakfast and
blubbering and suddenly Lansing paused for a moment before a mir-
felt the hate and excitement fade ror before he put on his old-
into a wonderful sense of content- fashioned hat.
ment. Ought to do something about
He stood over Watkins, feeling those gray hairs, he thought. Plenty
his bruised hands with satisfaction. of men his age used Dyall; it would
The familiar reporters rushed into make him look ten years younger.
the room. One of them covered him But some naturalistic, unhypo-
with a gun while the other jumped critical streak inside him made him
to the phone and called, first a doc- put on his hat with a sigh and give
tor, then the police, and then up the thought as he had almost
Hedges, the district social engineer. every morning for a year.
Hedges listened, frowning, to the He selected three luxurious South
story; and then Lansing laid his American cigars from his humidor
non-compulsion license on Watkins' and made a mental note to stop at
rumpled desk and said quietly: the tobacconist's at noon to re-
"Now can I have my apartment plenish the supply, according to his
key back?" habit.
"You won't need your apart- He lit one, put the other two in
ment!" yelled Watkins, sitting up his pocket, and caught the 7: 10 to
on the floor. "You're going to jail the city ...

. _...
for twenty years for this!" • • • THE END

DON'T MISS IT! Miraculous! Sensational! New! Atummyc Afterbath

Dusting Powder! It gives you that lovely, radiant, atomic look! It gives
you something more, too! Read BREEDER REACTION in the April
IF, out next month!
The ultradrive had just one slight drawback: it set up
a shock wave that made suns explode. Which made the
problem of getting back horne a delicate one indeed . ..

Time
Fuze
Bg Randall Garrett
Illustrated by Paul Orban

f"'OMMANDER BENEDICT kept

lJ his eyes on the rear plate as he
activated the intercom. "All right,
cut the power. We ought to be safe
enough here."
As he released the intercbm, Dr.
Leicher, of the astronomical staff,
stepped up to his side/-'''Perfectly
safe," he nodded, "although even
at this distance a star going nova
ought to be quite a display."
Benedict didn't shift his gaze
from the plate. "Do you have your
instruments set up?"
"Not quite. But we have plenty
of time. The light won't reach us
for several hours yet. Remember,
we were outracing it at ten lights."
The· commander finally turned,
slowly letting his breath out in a
soft sigh. "Dr. Leicher, I would say
67
 68 RANDALL GARRETT

that this is just about the foulest that we have everything set up
coincidence that could happen to now?"
the first interstellar vessel ever to Leicher nodded and turned to
leave the Solar System." leave. "I guess we have nothing to
Lcicher shrugged. "In one way do now but wait."
of thinking, yes. It is certainly true When the light from the nova
that we will never know, now, did come, Commander Benedict
whether Alpha Centauri A ever had was back at the plate again-the
any planets. But, in anothcr way, forward one, this time, since the
it is extremely fortunate that we ship had been turned around in or-
should be so near a stellar explo- der to align the astronomy lab in
sion because of the wealth of scien- the nose with the star.
tific information we can obtain. As Alpha Centauri A began to
you say, it is a coincidence, and brighten and spread. It male Bene-
probably one that happens only dict think of a light bulb connected
once in a billion years. The chances through a rheostat, with someone
of any particular star going nova turning that rheostat, turning it un-
are small. That we should be so til the circuit was well overloaded.
close when it happens is of a van- The light began to hurt Bene-
ishingly small order of probability." dict's eyes even at that distance and
Commander Benedict took off his he had to cut down the receptivity
cap and looked at the damp stain in order to watch. After a while,
in the sweatband. "Nevertheless, he turned away from the plate. Not
Doctor, it is damned unnerving to because the show was over, but sim-
come out of ultradrive a couple of ply because it had slowed to a point
hundred million miles from the beyond which no change seemed to
first star ever visited bv man and take place to the human eye.
have to turn tail and iun because Five weeks later, much to Leich-
the damned thing practically blows er's chagrin, Commander Benedict
up in your face." announced that they had to leave
Leicher could see that Benedict the vicinity. The ship had only
was upset; he rarely used the same been provisioned to go to Alpha
profanity twice in one sentence. Centauri, scout the system without
They had been downright lucky, landing on any of the planets, and
at that. If Leicher hadn't seen the return. At ten lights, top speed for
star begin to swell and brighten, if the ultradrive, it would take better
he hadn't known what it meant, or than three months to get back.
if Commander Benedict hadn't "I know you'd like to watch it
been quick enough in shifting the go through the complete cycle,"
ship back into ultradrive-Leicher Benedict said, "but we can't go back
had a vision of an incandescent home as a bunch of starved skele-
cloud of gaseous metal that had tons."
once been a spaceship. Leieher resigned himself to the
The intercom buzzed. The com- necessity of leaving much of his
mander answered, "Yes?" work unfinished, and, although he
"Sir, would you tell Dr. Leicher knew it was a case of sour grapes,
TIME FUZE 69
consoled himself with the thought turn to frown. "So?"
that he could as least get most of "Commander, the entire universe
the remaining information from the is only about ten to the seventeenth
five-hundred-inch telescope on Lu- seconds old. But to give you an
na, four years from then. idea, let's say that the chances of
As the ship slipped into the not- its happening are once in millions
quite-space through which the ul- of trillions of years!"
tradrive propelled it, Leicher began Benedict blinked. The number,
to consolidate the material he had he realized, was totally beyond his
already gathered. comprehension-or anyone else's.
"Well, so what? Now it has hap-
pcncd that one time. That simply
OMMANDER BENEDI CT means that it will almost certainly
CFifty-four
wrote in the log:
days out from Sol. Al-
never happen again!"
"True. But, Commander, when
pha Centauri has long since faded you buck odds like that and win,
back into its pre-blowup state, since the thing to do is look for some fac-
we have far outdistanced the light tor that is cheating in your favor.
from its explosion. It now looks as If you took a pair of dice and start-
it did two years ago. It- ed throwing sevens, one right after
"Pardon me, Commander," another-for the next couple of
Leicher interrupted, "But I have thousand years-you'd begin to
something interesting to show you." suspect they were loaded."
Benedict took his fingers off the Benedict said nothing; he just
keys and turned around in his chair. waited expectantly.
"What is it, Doctor?" "There is only one thing that
Leicher frowned at the papers in could have done it. Our ship."
his hands. "I've been doing some Leicher said it quietly, without em-
work on the probability of that ex- phasis.
plosion happening just as it did, and "What we know about the hyper-
I've come up with some rather space, or superspace, or whatever
frightening figures. As I said be- it is we move through in ultradrive
fore, the probability was small. A is almost nothing. Coming out of
little calculation has given us some it so near to a star might set up
information which makes it even some sort of shock wave in normal
smaller. For instance: with a pos- space which would completely dis-
sible error of plus or minus two rupt that star's internal balance, re-
seconds Alpha Centauri A began to sulting in the liberation of unimag-
explode the instant we came out of inably vast amounts of energy, caus-
ultradrive! ingthat star to go nova. We can
"Now, the probability of that oc- only assume that we ourselves were
curring comes out so small that it the fuze that set off that nova."
should happen only once in ten to Benedict stood up slowly. When
the four hundred sixty-seventh he spoke, his voice was a choking
seconds." whisper. "You mean the sun-Sol
It was Commander Benedict's -might..."
70 RANDALL GARRETT
EICHER NODDED. "I don't of the whole thing like some dizzy
L say that it definitely would. But
the probability is that we were the
bee around a flower. What if there
had been planets around Centauri
cause of the destruction of Alpha A? What if they had been inhabit-
Centauri A, and therefore might ed? Had he, all unwittingly, killed
cause the destruction of Sol in the entire races of living, intelligent be-
same way." ings?
Benedict's voice was steady again. But, how could he have known?
"That means that we can't go back The drive had never been tested
again, doesn't it? Even if we're not before. It couldn't be tested inside
positive, we can't take the chance." the Solar System-it was too fast.
"Not necessarily. We can get He and his crew had been volun-
fairly close before we cut out the teers, knowing that they might die
drive, and come in the rest of the when the drive went on.
way at sub-light speed. It'll take Suddenly, Benedict gasped and
longer, and we'll have to go on half slammed his fist down on the desk
or one-third rations, but we can do before him.
itl" Leicher looked up. "What's the
"How far away?" matter, Commander?"
"I don't know what the mllll- "Suppose," came the answer,
mum distance is, but I do know how "Just suppose, that we have the
we can gage a distance. Remember, same effect on a star when we go
neither Alpha Centauri B or C into ultradrive as we do when we
were detonated. We'll have to cut come out of it?"
our drive at least as far away from Leicher was silent for a moment,
Sol as they are from A." stunned by the possibility. There
"I see." The commander was si- was nothing to say, anyway. They
lent for a moment, then: "Very could only wait.
well, Dr. Leicher. If that's the saf-
est way, that's the only way." A little more than half a light
Benedict issued the orders, while year from Sol, when the ship reach-
Leicher figured the exact point at ed the point where its occupants
which they must cut out the drive, could see the light that had left
and how long the trip would take. their home sun more than seven
The rations would have to be cut months before, they watched it be-
down accordingly. come suddenly, horribly brighter.
Commander Benedict's mind A hundred thousand times brighter!
whirled around the monstrousness ••• THE END

•••••
Was he menace? Was he promise of a new, superior type of man-
kind? This great, golden, godlike youth whose extraordinary
mutant powers combined the world's oldest and newest methods
of survival ... Read THE GOLDEN MAN in the April issue, on
sale February 9th.
It was, Kirk thought, like standing in a gully, watch-
ing a boulder teeter precariously above you. It might
fall at any minute, crushing your life out instantly be-
neath its weight. Your only possible defenses are your
brain and voice-but how do you argue with a boul-
der which neither sees nor hears?

'mid pleasures and palaces

By James McKimmey, Jr.
Illustrated by Philip Parsons

T HIS PLANET was remote and

set apart, and nothing about
it had made William Kirk think he
Kirk noticed a faint breeze; his
palms were wet, and they cooled
when the breeze touched them. He
might find human life. Yet just be- placed his palms against his jacket.
yond, through a thorny bush shaped Damn you, Leo, he thought. Damn
like an exploding rose, Kirk had your rotten fortune-telling. Kirk
seen eyes and nose and a flash of was superstitious when he was in
yellow hair that were definitely hu- space, and the memory of Leo Ma-
man. son's cool, quiet voice saying
Kirk poised motionless. He was "Watch it now, sport. Be careful, be
three miles from the rocket and careful ..." seemed now like some
Leo, who was waiting inside of it. certain kiss of fate.
He thought for a moment of how The bush trembled and Kirk's
Leo had told him, as they made right hand flicked to his holster. His
their landing, that this is the kind of pistol was cold against his fingers
planet where you could go no fur- and he let it fit loosely in his hand,
ther. This is the kind of planet that the barrel half-raised.
could be the end of twelve years, The bush shivered again, and
and you'd better be careful, Wil- then all at once the figure was rising
liam, old sport. from behind it, a tall wide figure
71
'MID PLEASURES AND PALACES 73
with a very tan face, lined and "That's nice," Harry Loren
toughened by the sun. The shoul- nodded. His wild hair brushed over
ders, bare like the chest, were mas- his shoulders and reflected its yel-
sive, yet somehow stretched-looking, lowness against the sun. The knife
as though endless exposure to wind then, the one that Kirk had thought
and rain and sun had turned the about a moment ago, appeared in
skin to brown leather. the figure's hand. "Bastard," Harry
Kirk had his pistol pointing at Loren hissed, and he was leaping at
the figure's stomach now, and the Kirk, the knife making a sweep to-
figure blinked, while the breeze ward Kirk's stomach.
touched and ruffled the long Something kept Kirk from
bleached hair. squeezing the trigger, and instead
The figure raised a large hand, he swung his pistol so that it struck
palm up, and curled the fingers. the brown, weathered knuckles.
"Hello?" he said softly. Kirk was The knife flew into a thicket and
surprised by the word and the polite Loren, screaming, was upon Kirk,
sound of it. reaching for Kirk's neck. Kirk
Kirk remained motionless, pistol wrenched backward and at the
pointing. "Who are you?" he said same time swung the barrel of the
through his teeth. pistol toward the yellow flying hair.
"Harry," said the figure, as There was a cracking sound, and
though Kirk surely should know Harry Loren, brown and wild-look-
who he was. "I'm Harry, of course." ing, crumpled silently before Kirk's
"Yes?" said Kirk carefully. feet.
"Harry?" Kirk examined the man, then he
The figure nodded. "Harry Lo- reached down and picked lip the
ren, don't you know?" knife from the thicket. It was crude-
"Oh, yes," Kirk said, his eyes ly hammered out from some kind of
watchful. "Harry Loren." There alloy, but sharp nevertheless, and
was something about the man's it could have been deadly in a hand
eyes, Kirk decided. They were deep like Harry Loren's.
set and very bright within their Kirk looked again at the yellow-
sockets. They didn't match the soft- haired man on the ground. He was
ness of the speech. Harry Loren wearing some kind of ragged cloth
smiled and showed his yellow teeth. about his waist and nothing else.
"Who are you?" he asked politely. Across his back, Kirk could see, was
"I'm William," Kirk said. It was a curving scar, an inch wide and
as though he might be speaking to ten or twelve inches long. It was
a frightened child, he thought, who white and very noticeable against
help a sharp knife in his hands. the brown of the man's skin.
"William Kirk, of course." Kirk bent down, looking at the
Harry Loren nodded apologetic- scar carefully. It could have been
ally. "Oh, yes. I can't remember made during a crash of a rocket,
everyone. It's been so long. How are but there were, he noticed, fine
you, William?" whiter ridges running along the
Kirk's eyes flickered. "I'm fine." length of the scar as though they
74 JAMES McKIMMEY, JR.
had been made by fine comb-like hand softly along the creature's long
teeth. A talon, perhaps. Some kind neck.
of strange claw. Kirk straightened Kirk tried to think, testing his
quickly. muscles without moving, and he reo
I t went through his head that membered then the ripping along
Harry Loren might not be the only his right arm. He looked at the arm
animal life on this planet. He tight- and at the way his jacket had been
ened his hand on his pistol, stepping torn away along with the shirt be-
backward, his eyes darting. neath it. He could see the comb-like
But he could only pivot slowly, marking of his skin. The cut was
trying to see, to discover, and he not deep but it bled a little and
was much too slow when he finally stung. He tried to move his arm and
saw it. It was only a flash of yellow found that he could.
and brown, making a hissing kind Kirk looked back to Loren. Loren
of sound. He felt the ripping along stroked his hand along the thin
his right arm. The pistol was going neck of the creature. Kirk decided
out of his hand. And a swirling to try:
blackness got in front of his eyes. "That's a nice looking animal, ~
Harry."
Loren's expression did not
W HEN HE AWOKE he saw
Harry Loren first, who was
change.
Kirk paused. From the looks of
sitting up now, silent, motionless, the man, Loren had been here a
with Kirk's pistol resting in his long time, a very long time. I thad
hands. been a crash, prolJably. And all the
To the side of Loren and just a years afterward of loneliness, all the
little behind rested a peculiar-look- time for the quiet but sure warping
ing thing. It was alive because its of the brain.
head, shaped like a cone that had He raised a hand quickly, watch-
been attached to its neck, kept ing Loren's eyes. Loren did not
swaying gently back and forth. The change expressions or move the pis-
dark blue eyes, spaced back from tol, but Kirk felt a comb-like claw
the smallest end of the cone, were touching his hand, freezing it to
rather small with no lids. The crea- motionless with its razor tips. Kirk
ture's neck was long and thin, a looked at the creature. The dark
multitude of shades of yellow and blue eyes were steady. Kirk lowered
brown like the head, and the rest his hand slowly and the claw was
of the body widened out like a fun- drawn away. The creature's head
nel and this area was covered with resumed it's gentle swaying, and
yellow feathers. It had what ap- Loren's hand resumed its stroking.
peared to be arms and legs, long Kirk licked his lips.
thin extensions of dark brown with "Where have you been?" Loren
large bony joints. At the end of each said, his voice sudden and hoarse
of these, Kirk could see a flat claw now.
with rows of tiny comb-like teeth. "Where have I been?" Kirk said,
Loren reached out and ran a tight and motionless.
'MID PLEASURES AND PALACES 75
"Why didn't you come before?" in the memory of the digging of six
Kirk considered it. The dancing graves. Then they narrowed.
lights in the man's eyes, the high- "Where have you been?"
strung sound of his voice were Kirk tried to match his answer
things to make you wary and care- to the wants of the man. "I came
ful. Kirk closed his fingers the as soon as I could."
slightest bit. "I didn't know you "You did?"
were here." "Yes," Kirk said. "I did."
Loren's lips thinned. "Liar." Loren's right hand stopped its
Kirk thought he might try a stroking and his fingers tightened
smile, to reassure Loren that he about the thin long neck of the ani-
was telling the truth. He decided mal. "Eddie?" he said.
against it. "How long have you been Kirk saw the animal's left claw
here, Harry?" whipping out. He ducked suddenly,
"How would I know?" but the claw ripped along his left
Kirk thought of the endless nights arm. He tried to roll sideways, and
and days when time ran together then he lay, half sprawled, looking
and there was no more separation at the blood welling up from this
of one time from another. Today new set of ripped ridges in his arm.
would be tomorrow and tomorrow He shifted his eyes to look at the
would be today. No changes. End- animal, and he was quite certain .
less. "Did you crash, Harry?" that he could detect a small mouth
"Did you crash, Harry?" Loren fitting around the under side of the
mimicked, and for a moment Kirk funnel-shaped head. It was only a
felt a chill dancing through him as line, but Kirk thought that there
he watched the sarcastic leer of was a grinning look to it.
Loren's mouth. "You didn't come as soon as you
Kirk kept his tone polite, pa- could," Loren said, his voice an
tronizing. "Was there anyone else?" angry trembling sound.
Loren laughed, a laugh that "I did, Harry," Kirk said, still re-
bounced over the rocks and through maining in his half sprawl. "I really
the scrubs and bushes. did."
"Was there, Harry?" Loren replaced his hand on the
"Oh, yes," Loren said, grinning neck of the animal, squeezing.
and showing his yellow teeth. "Six. "No, no," Kirk said, and he tried
One, two, three, four, five, six. to keep the panic out of his voice.
Would you like to see their graves? "Harry, I'm telling you the truth!"
I've kept the graves pretty. I know
where they are because I dug
them."
Loren remained in a half crouch, L OREN'S MOUTH showed a
faint surface of his yellow teeth.
the fingers of one hand holding the He shook his head, slowly, back and
pistol loosely, the other keeping up forth, his fingers tightening about
its monotonous stroking of the ani- the animal's neck.
mal. His eyes seemed to become va- "Harry, listen," Kirk said, watch-
cant for a moment, as though lost ing Loren's squeezing fingers,. "it's
76 JAMES McKIMMEY, JR.
over now. You don't have to wait Eddie." Loren reached out absently
any longer. I'll take you back now. and touched the brown and yellow
I'll take you home!" neck of the creature. "I called this
Loren froze, staring. "Home?" he fellow Eddie, though. Do you sup-
said. pose that was all right? He's not
"That's right," Kirk said. "That's very pretty."
right, Harry." Kirk nodded, looking at the wav·
"Home," Loren breathed, and ing, funnel-shaped head of the ani-
his eyes were suddenly like a child's, mal. "That was all right, Harry."
wide and unbelieving. "Does she still braid her hair?"
"The waiting's all over," Kirk Loren asked, his eyes shiny.
said. "You don't have to wait any "What?" Kirk said.
longer." "Annette. Does she still braid her
"I don't have to wait any longer," hair?"
Loren repeated softly, and his hand "Why," Kirk said slowly, feeling
dropped from the neck of the ani. his palms going moist. "Why
mal. wouldn't she, Harry?"
Kirk watched Loren and the A faint smile flickered across
swaying animal. "The rocket's Loren's lips as he remembered.
ready," he said. Kirk watched one of the crea-
Loren's eyes were lost in some ture's claws, out of the corners of
distant memory. Gradually Kirk his eyes. He opened and closed the
could see the eyes turn shiny with fingers of one hand, testing. The
tears. "Is Annette waiting?" he claw jerked slightly.
asked. The blood of Kirk's new wound
Kirk thought quickly. He knew was drying, he knew, because it had
tthat what he was .going to say been only a surface cut. He won-
shouldn't be said, because he had dered how it would be if the thing
no right. But he was thinking of used its claws with serious intent.
his own skin. "Why, yes, Harry," he Like it must have to make the cut
said slowly. "I imagine Annette is that had been raked into Loren's
waiting." back. Loren was bending forward
Loren let a quick breath come now, and Kirk could see the tip end
through his teeth. "Annette," he of that scar. Somehow Loren had
whispered. "And Dickie?" managed to stay alive and befriend
"Dickie?" Kirk said. the creature. Eddie. The lidless eyes
"Little Dickie?" Loren said and stared.
he held his breath. Kirk knew that he had to make
"Oh, yes," Kirk lied. "Of use of the moment. It could break
course." apart any time, the wildness could
"I can't ask about Eddie, because return, the unreasoning ...
we never had the chance," Loren "Listen, Harry," he said, "we
said, his eyes still lost. "I always ought to get started, you know.
told Annette that no kid should There's no use waiting longer."
ever grow up without a brother, "Started?" Loren said.
only we never had the chance for "Of course," Kirk said, trying to
"MID PLEASURES AND PALACES 77
keep his voice matter-of-fact. "We'd better hurry," Kirk said
"You're going home." desperately. "Annette's waiting.
Loren looked at Kirk and his eyes And Dickie, of course."
turned suddenly hard and his Loren blinked.
mouth lost the faint smile. "I am," "You wouldn't want to keep
he stated flatly. them waiting any longer, not after
"Yes," Kirk said. "Of course." all this time, Harry."
"You're a liar." Loren stroked his fingers slowly
"Now, Harry," Kirk said, his eyes down the long neck of the animal.
flickering to the waiting animal. "I "I think," Kirk said, almost
surely wouldn't lie to you." hoarsely, "now that I really remem-
"You haven't come for me until ber it, Annette was still wearing her
after all this time, and now you say hair braided. I remember that now,
you surely wouldn't lie to me." Harry. Positively." ....
It was like standing in a gully, Loren froze the motion of his
Kirk thought, watching a boulder hand and stared at Kirk. His lips
teetering above you. It tipped this trembled, and then suddenly he pu.t
way and that, and you didn't know his hands in front of his face. He
when or if it was going to come bent forward, and Kirk felt his
hurtling down. You waited. But nerves jumping, watching the man
Kirk couldn't wait, he knew. He start to cry.
had to do something. The animal turned its stare away
"Harry, listen. It wasn't easy to from Kirk for the first time. It
find you, don't you see?" He hoped looked at Loren and then slowly
he was making it sound as though raised a claw, touching Loren's
all he had done for the last dozen shoulder carefully. It made a sound
years of exploring was look for then, a peculiar hissing sound, soft,
Harry Loren. He wished that the barely audible. There was no dan-
damned thing would stop swaying ger in it, or menace, only a pitiful
its ugly head back and forth. Lo- sound.
ren's hand was inching out toward Loren raised his head a little and
the yellow and brown neck. brought his hands away from his
"Look, Harry, these things aren't face. Tears had cut through dust
done in a day. We-" and grime and his face was
"A day!" Loren hissed. "A day! streaked.
All this time and you say a day!" "Shall we go, Harry?" Kirk said.
"No, I'm sorry," Kirk said quick- Loren wiped at his eyes, stupidly,
ly. He wished he could shift out without knowing what he was do-
of the cramped half-lying position ing. Then he brought his hands
he was in. "I didn't mean a day, down and wiped them across his
Harry. I meant it wasn't easy. We chest.
didn't know where you were-" He "All right," he said. "Let's go."
was talking quickly, whining al- He picked up Kirk's pistol from
most, and he'd never whined before. where he had dropped it on the
Loren's fingers were touching the ground and held it out.
waving neck. Kirk looked at the gun and at the
78 JAMES McKIMMEY, JR.
animal. The claw had been drawn like claws and the scar on Loren's
away from Loren's shoulder and back. He thought about Loren's
again it was poised, ready. "You knife and about the pistol.
keep it, Harry," he said." He wanted to look back as he
"Oh, yes. Of course," Loren said. walked. He wanted to talk, to hear
There was a moment of silence as Loren's answer and so know just
Loren stuck the pistol absently into where he was. More than anything
the waist of his ragged cloth cover- he wanted to break into a run and
ing, beside the knife. The three of get into that rocket and get out of
them waited then, Kirk, Loren, and here.
the animal. He could see the gleam of the
"Eddie?" Loren said finally. "Are rocket finally, but he didn't look
you ready?" back yet. He kept moving. As he
got closer he could see Leo, stand-
ing near the base of the ship, tall,
1'7-IRK FELT himself smiling in
the direction of the animal. He
leaning carelessly against the silver
surface, smoking. He wanted to
remembered when he was a small shout to Leo, to tell him for God's
boy, going by a house where there sake to wake up and protect him.
had been a mongrel with a flat head They reached the edge of the
and large teeth. He had smiled at clearing and Leo, whose careless
that animal as he was doing now. body had stiffened, waited motion-
The dog had sensed his fear in spite less, one hand on his pistol. Kirk
of the smile. stopped. "There it is, Harry," he
Loren was standing up slowly, said, not turning around. "There's
and the animal's head swayed in the ship." He waited, half-closing
slow circling motions. his eyes, breathing slowly.
"All right?" Loren said. There was no sound.
Kirk glanced at the man, saw the "That's Leo, my friend, Harry,"
wild, nearly vacant look of the face, Kirk said, putting his palms flat
the polite tilt of the head. Kirk's against his thighs. "Your friend,
palms were wet. Goddamn it, he Harry."
thought, and he stood up suddenly. Leo, Kirk could see, was still
The animal extended a claw, frozen; his eyes slitted to narrow
slowly, turning it so that it seemed brightness. Kirk began to step into
to wind and circle as it came toward the clearing. "Hello, there, Leo," he
Kirk. said, his voice a tense, grating
"Eddie/' Loren said. sound. "I've brought some friends."
The claw came away. Kirk Leo was lifting his pistol out of
caught his breath. its holster, inchingly.
"Shall we go?" Loren said, his "Friends," Kirk rasped.
eyes shining. Leo's thin eyes flickered and the
"Yes," Kirk said. "We'll go, pistol slid back into the holster.
Harry." He turned slowly, so that Kirk turned around slowly, and
his back was to Loren and the ani- he saw that Loren had stopped just
mal. He thought about the comb- inside the clearing. The animal re-
'MID PLEASURES AND PALACES 79
mained beside him, its head making been with Harry for a long time,"
its slow circles. Loren was staring he said.
up at the rocket and the sun reflect- "Oh?" said Leo quietly.
ing from the bright surface, came Loren's hand stroked the brown
down and shown on Loren's face, and yellow head.
deepening the lines there. "Harry," Kirk said. "We're going
"Leo," Kirk said slowly, "this is to leave now. Are you ready?"
Harry Loren and his friend, Eddie. Loren was silent.
Harry's been here quite a while, "You go up first, will you, Leo?"
waiting for us." Kirk said.
"Oh, yes?" said Leo, still not Leo looked at him, a faint frown
moving. touching his brow, then he began
"That's right, Leo," Kirk said. moving up the ladder to the air
"Quite awhile. What year was it, lock. Kirk waited until Leo had dis-
Harry?" he said across the clearing. appeared into the rocket, then he
"What year did you crash?" repeated, "We're going to leave
Loren blinked and there were now, Harry. Are you ready?"
tears again in his eyes. He reached Loren remained motionless, his
out slowly, and the animal shifted hand touching the animal's head.
so that its head touched Loren's Suddenly he turned then and began
hand. "Twenty-four-nineteen." moving slowly away through the
Kirk put his teeth together. brush, the brown and yellow crea-
"Twenty-four-nineteen," he said. ture bobbing beside him with queer
Loren nodded slowly, his eyes rocker-like jumps.
still upon the rocket. "Goodby, Harry," Kirk said.
"Eighteen years," Leo said softly. Finally he turned and climbed up
"A long time, Leo," Kirk said. the ladder. When he had gotten
He thought of a girl with her hair into his seat, he said, "Let's go,
braided about her head, looking up, Leo," and he moved his hands to
while Loren had shot into the the controls.
depths of sky and space. He thought
of a little boy called Dickie, stand-
ing there, too, watching a fast dis- The rocket settled into the quiet
appearing blackness in the sky. He motion of its course through space.
thought about eighteen years, and "But I don't get it," Leo said. "I
the fading of youth. A boy becom- really don't. All that time, and then
ing a man. Braided hair becoming all he has to do is walk a dozen
gray. Memories fading and minds yards and get into the rocket and
adjusting. New love, new dedica- he's going home. That's all he
tion. A world shifting, a universe would have to do."
shifting. "Why?" Kirk said..
Kirk looked at Eddie, the animal, "Why?" said Leo, frowning.
real and alive, waiting patiently at Kirk nodded, looking at the man.
the tips of Loren's fingers. "Eddie's "Why?"
• • • THE END
•••••
Tabby was peculiar, of course, but seemed harmless: just a
little green fly that couldn't even protect itself from ordinary
spiders. So the spiders fed, and grew, and fed, and grew . ..

By Winston Marks
Illustrated by Rudolph Polois

April 18, 1956 working out fine, and the screened

D EAR BEN: It breaks my

heart you didn't sign on for
this trip. Your replacement, who
sleeping tenthouses have solved the
one big nuisance we've suffered be-
fore: Insects. I think an entomolo-
calls himself an ichthyologist, has gist would find more to keep him
only one talent that pertains to fish busy here than we will.
-he drinks like one. There are Your ankle should be useable by
nine of us in the expedition, and the time our next supply plane
everyone of us is fed up with this from Hawaii takes off. If you apply
joker, Cleveland, already. We've again at the Foundation right now
only been on the island a week, and I'm sure Sellers and the others will
he's gone native, complete with help me get rid of Cleveland, and
beard, bare feet and bone laziness. there'll be an open berth here.
He slops around the lagoon like a Got to close now. Our amphib
beachcomber and hasn't brought in jets off in an hour for the return
a decent specimen yet. trip. Hope this note is properly se-
The island is a bit of paradise, ductive. Come to the isles, boy, and
though. Wouldn't be hard to let live!-Cordially, Fred
yourself relax under the palms all
day instead of collecting blisters
and coral gashes out in the bright May 26, 1956
sun of the atoll. No complaints, DEAR BEN: Now, aren't you
however. We aren't killing our- sorry you didn't take my
selves, and our little camp is very advice?! !!! I'm assuming you read
comfortable. The portable lab is the papers, and also, that too tight
81
82 WINSTON MARKS
a censorship hasn't clamped down here he is, and it looks like he might
on this thing yet. Maybe I'm assum- be useful after all.
ing too much on the latter. Any- He was all for going ashore, but
how, here's a detailed version from Sellers and I rowed after the white
an actual eyewitness. disk for awhile until it became ap-
That's right! I was right there on parent we couldn't catch it. It's a
the beach when the "saucer" good thing we didn't. A half hour
landed. Only it looked more like a later, Olafsen caught up to it in
king-size pokerchip. About six feet the power launch. We were watch-
across and eight inches thick with ing from shore. It was about a
a little hemispherical dome dead half mile out when Ole cut his
center on top. It hit offshore about speed. Luckily he was alone. We
seventy-five yards with a splash ,had yelled at him to pick us up
that sounded like a whale's tail. and take us along, but he was too
Jenner and I dropped our seine, excited to stop. He passed us up,
waded to shore and started running went out there and boom!
along the beach to get opposite it. It wasn't exactly an A-bomb, but
Cleveland came out of the shade the spray hit us a half mile away,
and helped us launch a small boat. and the surface wave swamped us.
We got within twenty feet of the Sellers radioed the whole inci-
thing when it started moving out, dent to Honolulu right away, and
slowly, just fast enough to keep they are sending out a plane with
ahead of us. I was in the bow look- a diver, but we don't think he'll find
ing right at it when the lid popped anything. Things really blew! So
open with a sound like a cork com- far we haven't even found any
ing out of a wine bottle. The little identifiable driftwood from the
dome had split. Sellers quit rowing launch, let alone Ole's body or
and we all hit the bottom of the traces of the disk.
boat. I peeked over the gunwale Meanwhile, Cleveland has come
right away, and it's a good thing. to believe my story, and he's out
All that came out of the dome was prowling around with an insect
a little cloud of flies, maybe a hun- net. Most energy he's shown in
dred or so, and the breeze picked weeks.
them up and blew them over us in-
shore so fast that Cleveland and
AY 28-Looks like this let-
Sellers never did see them.
1 yelled at them to look, but by M ter will be delayed a bit. We
then the flies were in mingling with are under quarantine. The govern-
the local varieties of sudden itch, ment plane came this morning.
and they figured I was seeing They sent along a diver, two re-
things. Cleveland, though, listened porters and a navy officer. The
with the most interest. It develops diver went down right away, but
that his specialty is entomology. He it's several hundred feet deep out
took this job because he was out of there and slants off fast. This is-
work. Don't know how he bluffed land is the tip of a sunken moun-
his way past the Foundation, but tain, and the diver gave up after
TABBY 83
less than an hour. Personally I AY 29-Cleveland thinks he
think a couple of sharks scared him
off, but he claims there's so much
M has his specimen. He went'
out at dawn this morning and
vegetable ruck down there he came in before breakfast. He's quit
couldn't expect to find anything drinking but he hasn't slept in three
smaller than the launch's motor. days now and looks like hell. I
Cleveland hasn't found anything thought he was getting his fancy
unusual in his bug net, but every- imagination out of the bottle, but
one is excited here, and you can the soberer he got' the more wor-
guess why. ried he looked over this "invasion"
When the "saucer" reports idea of his.
stopped cold about a year ago, Now he claims that his catch is
you'll remember, it made almost as definitely a sample of something
much news for a while as when new under our particular sun. He
they were first spotted. Now the hustled it under a glass and started
people out here are speculating classifying it. It filled the bill for
that maybe this disc thing came the arthopods, class Insecta.' It
from the same source as the looked to me, in fact, just like a
saucers, after they had a chance to small, ordinary blowfly, except that
look us over, study our ecology and it has green wings. And I mean
return to their base. Cleveland is green, not just a little. iridescent
the one who started this trend of color.
thought with his obsession that the Cleve very gently pulled one
flies I reported seeing are an attack wing off and we looked at it under
on our planet from someone out in low power. There is mbre similarity
space. to a leaf than to a wing. In the
Commander Clawson, the navy bug's back is a tiny pocket, a sort
officer, doesn't know what to think. of reservoir of the green stuff, and
He won't believe Cleveland until Cleve's dissection shows tiny veins
he produces a specimen of the "fly- running up into the wings. It seems
from-Mars", but then he turns to be a closed system with no con-
around and contradicts himself by nection with the rest of the body
declaring a temporary quarantine except the restraining membrane.
until he gets further orders from Cleveland now rests his extra-
Honolulu. terrestrial origin theory on an idea
The reporters are damned nuis- that the green stuff is chlorophyll.
ances. They're turning out reams If it is chlorophyll, either Cleve is
of Sunday supplement type stuff right or else he's discovered a new
and pestering the devil out of class of arthropods. In other re-
Sparks to let them wire it back, but spects the critter is an ordinary bit-
our radio is now under navy con- ing and sucking bug with the po-
trol, too. tentials of about a deerfly for mak-
Sure is crowded in the bunk- ing life miserable. The high-power
house with the six additional peo- lens showed no sign of unusual or
ple, but no one will sleep outside malignant microscopic life inside
the screen. or out of the thing. Cleve can't say
 84 WINSTON MARKS
. how bad a bite would be, because screened quarters now without
he doesn't have his entomologist wondering about catching space-~
kit with him, and he can't analyze typhus.
the secretion from the poison gland.
The commander has let him
radio for a botanist and some
micro-analysis equipment.
Everyone was so pitched up that
J UNE 2-The quarantine was
probably a pretty good idea.
Cleve has turned up some dope oli
Cleve's findings have been rather Tabby's life cycle that makes us
anti-climactic. I guess we were giv- glad aU over that we are sur-
ing more credence to the space-in- rounded by a thousand miles of
vader theory than we thought. But salt water. Tabby's adult life is only
even if Cleve has proved it, this fly a couple of days, but she is vivipa-
doesn't look like much to be fright- rous, prolific (some thousand
ened over. The reporters are clam- young at a sitting), and her green
oring to be let loose, but the quar- little microscopic babies combine
antine still holds. the best survival features of spores
and plankton, minus one: they
don't live in salt water. But they
UNE I-By the time the plane do very well almost anyplace else.
J with the botanist arrived we
were able to gather all the speci-
We have watched them grow on
hot rocks, leaves, in the sand and
mens of Tabanidae viridis (Cleve- best of all, filtered down a little
land's designation) that he wanted. into the moist earth.
Seems like every tenth flying crea- They grow incredibly fast with a
ture you meet is a green "Tabby" little sun, so the chlorophyll is bio-
now. logically justified in the life-cycle.
The botanist helped Cleve and This puzzled us at first, because
me set up the bio kit, and he con- the adult Tabby turns into a blood-
firmed Cleve's guess. The green sucking little brute. Deprived of
stuff is chlorophyll. Which makes any organic matter, our bottled
Tabby quite a bug. specimens die in a short time, in or
Kyser, the youngest reporter, vol- out of the sunlight, indicating the
unteered to let a Tabby bite him. It green stuff doesn't provide them
did without too much coaxing. with much if any nourishment after
Now he has a little, itchy bump on they are full-grown.
his wrist, and he's happily banging Now we are waiting for a supply
away at his typewriter on a story of assorted insecticides to find the
titled, "I Was Bitten by the Bug best controls over the pests. The
from Space!" That was hours ago, few things we had on hand worked
and we haven't learned anything quite well, but I guess they aren't
sinister about the green fly except forgetting our sad experience with
that it does have a remarkable DDT a few years back.
breeding ability. The Tabbies now outnumber all
One thing the reporter accom- the other insects here, and most
plished: we can go outside the outside work has been halted. The
TABBY .85
little green devils make life miser- his suggestion about blowing up thd:
able outside the tent-houses. We atoll was turned down he quit talk...
have built another screened shelter ing except to conduct his work. If
to accommod3,te the latest arrivals. things were half as ominous as he'
We are getting quite a fleet of am- makes out we'd be pretty worried.
phibian aircraft floating around our
lagoon. No one will be allowed to
return until we come up with all
the answers to the question of con-
trolling our insect invasion.
J UNE 4-The spray planes got
here and none too soon. We
were running out of drinking water.
Cleveland is trying to convince The Tabbies got so thick that even
Sellers and the commander that at night a man would get stung in-
we should get out and send in sane if he went outside the screen.
atomic fire to blow the whole is- The various sprays all worked
land into the sea. They forwarded well. This evening the air is rela-
his suggestion to the U. N. com- tively clear. Incidentally, the birds
mittee which now has jurisdiction, have been having a feast. Now the
but they wired back that if the in- gulls are congregating to help us
sect is from space, we couldn't stop out like they did the Mormons in
other discs from landing on the the cricket plague. The spiders are
mainlands. Our orders are to study doing all right for themselves, too.
the bug and learn all we can. In fact, now that we have sprayed j
Opinion is mixed here. I can't the place the spiders and their con-'
explain the flying disc unless it's ex- founded webs are the biggest nui-
traterrestrial, but why would an sance we have to contend with.
invader choose an isolated spot like They are getting fat and sassy. Spin
this to attack? Cleve says this is their webs between your legs if you
just a "test patch" and probably stand still a minute too long. Re-
under surveillance. But why such mind me of real estate speculators
an innocuous little fly if they mean in a land boom, the little bastardly
business? opportunists. As you might gather,
The newsmen are really bored I don't care for brothers' Arachni-
now. They see no doom in the dae. They make everyone else nerv-
bugs, and since they can't file their ous, too. Strangely, Cleveland, the
stories they take a dim view of the entomologist, gets the worst jolt out
quarantine. They have gotten up of them. He'll stand for minutes at
an evening fishing derby with the the screen watching them spin their
crew members of the planes. Have nasty webs and skipping out to de-
to fish after dusk. The Tabbies bite juice a stray Tabby that the spray
too often as long as the sun is up. missed. And he'll mutter to him-
Cleve has turned into a different self and scowl and curse them. It
man. He is soft-spoken and intense. is hard to include them as God's
His hands tremble so much that he creatures. "
is conducting most of his work by Cleve still isn't giving out with;'
verbal directions with the botanist the opinions. He works incessantly
and me to carry them out. When and has filled two notebooks full of
86 WINSTON MARKS
data. Looks to me like our work is We were transmitting Cleve's data
almost done. hourly as he compiled it, and we
had been getting ordinary chatter
and speculation from the Honolulu

A UGUST 7, Year of our Lord

1956--To whom it will never
concern: I can no longer make
operator at the end of our mes-
sage. That stopped on the sixth of
June. Since then, we've had only
believe this is addressed to my curt acknowledgements of our data
friend, Ben Tobin. Cleveland has and sign-offs.
convinced me of the implications of At the same time, we noticed
our tragedy here. But somehow it that complete censorship on news
gives me some crazy, necessary ray of our situation and progress ap-
of hope to keep this journal until parently hit all the long-wave radio
the end. broadcasts. Up to that time the
I think the real horror of this newscasts had been feeding out a
thing started to penetrate to me dilute and very cautious pablum
about June 6. Our big spray job about our fight against Tabby. Im-
lasted less than 24 hours, and on mediately when we noticed this
that morning I was watching for news blind spot Cleve went all· to
the planes to come in for a second pieces and started drinking again.
try at it when I noticed the heavy Cleve, Sellers and I had the lab
spider webbing in the upper tree tent to ourselves, having moved our
foliage. As I looked a gull dove bunks in there, so we got a little out
through the trees, mouth open, eat- of touch with the others. It wasn't
ing Tabbies. Damned if the webs the way Sellers and I liked it, but
didn't foul his wings. At first he none of us liked the trip from lab
tore at them bravely and it looked to living quarters any more, al-
like he was trying to swim in thin though it was only fifty feet or so.
mud-sort of slow motion. Then Then Sparks moved in, too. For
he headed into a thick patch, the same reason. He said it was get-
slewed around at right angles and ting on his nerves running back
did a complete flip. Instantly three and forth to the lab to pick up our
mammoth spiders the size of my fist outgoing bulletins. So he shifted the
pounced out on him and trussed generator, radio gear and all over
him up before he could tear loose to a corner of the lab and brought
with his feet. in his bunk.
His pitiful squawking was what By the tenth of June we could see
made me feel that horror for the that the spraying was a losing bat-
first time. And the scene was re- tle. And it finally took the big trag-
peated more and more often. The edy to drive home the truth that
planes dusted us with everything was all about us already. When
they had, and it cut down the Tab- the crew got ready to go out to
bies pretty well again, but it didn't their planes on the eleventh, every-
touch the spiders, of course. one except the four of us in the
And then our return radio mes- lab tent was drafted to help clear
sages started getting very vague. webs between the tents and the
TABBY 87
beach. We could hear them shout- got out Cleve's whiskey, and we
ing from tent to tent as they made spilled half of it trying to get drinks
up their work party. We could no into us.
longer see across the distance. Sparks snapped out of it first. He
Everywhere outside, vision was ob- didn't try to talk to us. He just
scuredby the grayish film of webs went to his gear, turned on the gen-
on which little droplets caught the erator and warmed up the radio.
tropical sun like a million tiny mir- He told Honolulu what had hap-
rors. In the shade it was like trying pened as we had heard it.
to peer through thin milk, with the When he finished, he keyed over
vicious, leggy little shadows skit- for an acknowledgment. The oper-
tering about restlessly. ator said to hold on for a minute.
As usual in the morning, the Then he said they would try to dis-
hum of the Tabbies had risen above patch an air task force to get us
the normal jungle buzzing, and this off, but they couldn't be sure just
morning it was the loudest we'd when.
heard it. While this was coming in Cleve
Well, we heard the first screen came to his senses and listened. He
door squeak open, and someone was deadly calm now, and when
let out a whoop as the group Honolulu finished he grabbed the
moved out with brooms, palm mike from Sparks, cut in the TX
fronds and sticks to snatch a path and asked, "Are they landing discs
through the nightmare of spider on the mainlands?"
webs. The other two doors opened The operator answered, "Sorry,
and slammed, and we could hear that's classified."
many sounds of deep disgust voiced "For God's sake," Cleve de-
amid the grunts and thrashings. manded, "if you are ready to write
They must have been almost to us off you can at least answer our
the beach when the first scream questions. Are there any of the
reached us. Cleve had been listen- green sonsofbitches on the main-
ing in fascination, and the awful land ?"
sound tore him loose of his senses. There was another little pause,
He screamed back. The rest of us and then, "Yes."
had to sit on him to quiet him. That was all. Sparks ran down
Then the others outside all began the batteries trying to raise them
screaming-not words, just shat- again for more answers, but no re-
tering screams of pure terror, sponse. When the batteries went
mixed with roars of pain and anger. dead he checked the generator that
Soon there was no more anger. had kicked off. It was out of gaso-
Just horror. And in a few minutes line. The drums were on the
they died away. beach. Now we were without lights,
power and juice for our other
radios.

S ELLERS and Sparks and I

looked at each other. Cleve had
vomited and passed out. Sparks
We kept alive the first few days
by staying half drunk. Then Cleve's
case of whiskey gave out and we be-
88 WINSTON MARKS
gan to get hungry.· Sparks and done better so easily. They studied
Sellers set fire to one of our straw- our ecology well. They saw that our
ticking mattresses and used it as a greatest potential enemy was the
torch to burn their way over to insect population, and the most
the supply tent about thirty feet vicious part of it was the spider.
away. It worked fairly well. The Tabanidae viridis was not sent just
silky webs flashed into nothing as to plague us with horsefly bites.
the flames hit them, but they Tabby was sent to multiply and
wouldn't support the fire, and other feed the arachnids. There are dur-
webs streamed down behind the able species in all climates. And if
two. They had to burn another our botanist were still alive he
mattress to get back with a few could explain in detail how long
cases of food. our plant life can last under this
Then we dug a well under the spider infestation.
floor of our tent. Hit water within "Look for yourself," he said
a few feet. But when we cut pointing outside. "Not only are the
through the screen floor it cost us regular pollenizing insects doomed,
sentry duty. We had to have one but the density of those webs will
person awake all night long to choke out even wind pollinated
stamp on the spiders that slipped in grains."
around the edge of the well. He stared down our shallow well
Through all of this Cleveland hole and stamped on a small, black,
has been out on his feet. He has flat spider that had slithered under
just stood and stared out through the screening. "I suppose you real-
the screen all day. We had to force ize the spiders got the others.
him to eat. He didn't snap out of Down here in the tropics the big
it until this morning. varieties could do it by working to-
Sparks couldn't stand our radio gether. Sellers and Sparks won't re-
silence any longer, so he talked turn. Sounds like they got through
Sellers into helping him make a all right, but they'll be bitten so
dash for the gas drums on the badly they won't try to get back."
beach. They set fire to two mat- And even as he spoke we heard
tresses and disappeared into the one of the aircraft engines start up.
tunnel of burned webs that tangled The sound was muffled as under a
and caved in behind them. bed quilt.
When they were gone, Cleve- Cleve said, "I don't blame them.
land suddenly carne out of his I'd rather die in the sun, too. The
trance and put a hand on my beach should be fairly clear of
shoulder. I thought for a moment webs. We've got one mattress left.
he was going to jump me, but his What do you say?"
eyes were calm. He said, "Well, He's standing there now holding
Fred are you convinced now that the mattress with the ticking stick-
we'v~ been attacked?" ing out. I don't think one torch will
I said, "It makes no sense to me get us through. But it will be worth
at all. Why these little flies?" a try for one more look at the sun.
Cleve said, "They couldn't have THE END
Strumming a harp while floating on a white cloud
might be Paradise for some people, but it would bore
others stiff. Given an unlimited chance to choose your
ideal world, what would you specify-palaces or log
cabins?

THE WORLDS
of Joe Shannon
By Frank M. Robinson
Illustrated by Paul Orbon

Ican'LL TAKE BEER, son, and

thanks again for the offer. As you
see, I'm kinda down on my
Marge. Not beautiful but pretty
and a nice figure and a cook you
never saw the likes of. Like I say,
luck. I know what you're thinking, she was married to Joe but Joe was
but I'm not really on the bum. I married to his work and after you'd
usually make out all right-nothing been around a while, you could tell
fancy, mind you, but it's a living. there was friction.
Odd jobs in the winter and spring, But that ain't the beginning.
follow the harvests in the summer I suppose I'm partly responsible
and fall. Things are slack right now. because it started when I was over
You? Electronics, huh? Used to for dinner one night. I had been
know a fellow in electronics . .. working in the garden and doing
His name was Joe Shannon, used odd jobs around the house that
to work for Stellar Electric up in afternoon and I finagled it so I was
Fremont. Young fellow, not more'n invited for supper. Marge Shannon
twenty-five or so. Rail thin, wispy made chili that I just couldn't stay
hair, serious look-you know, the away from. Thick with beans and
one suit, absent-minded type. Joe meat and easy on the spices so it
was a brain. A triple-A, gold-plated, wouldn't burn an old man's stom-
genuine genius. Had a wife named ach.
89
THE WORLDS OF JOE SHANNON 91
Joe and I had just gone into the "It's a complex world, Harry. A
living room-Marge stayed in the lot of people never adjust to it.
kitchen to do the dishes-and I was Some of them turn the tables and
feeling stuffed and kinda sleepy. All try to adjust the world to them,
of a sudden Joe says out of a clear which makes a lot of other people
blue sky: "Harry, this is a hell of a unhappy. No, I'd say there's a cer-
world we live in, isn't it?" tain number of people who just
Now Joe had never struck me as don't fit in this world of ours. May-
being the unhappy type. He loved be at a different time and on an-
his work, he loved his wife (and other world, they might fit. But
just about in that order), and so far they don't fit on this one, not right
as 1 knew he didn't owe any money. here and now."
So I tried to feel him out, to find
out where the rub was.
"There's nothing wrong with the
world, Joe," I says. "It's just the
people in it."
T HAT WAS a way of looking at
it that I had never thought of
before. And Joe had a point. Now
He started methodically filling you take old Barney Muhlenberg,
his pipe and tamping down the to- the. town drunk. I knew Barney
bacco and not saying a word and I when he was a boy, and a more
get the feeling that he's deadly sober, adventure-seeking young ras-
serious about something. cal you never saw. But by then all
"You're right," he says quietly. the frontiers had dried up, it was
"It isn't the world, it's the people." between wars, and the only adven-
I sit there feeling puzzled but a ture Barney could find was in the
lot less sleepy and finally I ask: bottom of a bottle. Barney was one
"Anything wrong, Joe?" of those poor folks born fifty years
He lights his pipe and settles back too late. .
in the big, overstuffed easy chair Or you take Miss Alice Markey,
with the flowered slip-cover that the history teacher at FremoI,lt
Marge made, still frowning. "It's High. She's an old spinster-frail,
an unhappy world," he repeats. white-haired, and a little bit crabby
"It all depends on what side of now. You'd never believe it but she
the picture you want to look at," I used to be the romantic type. Some-
says, trying to cheer him up. "May- how, the right man just never came
be you been reading too many news- along, but she's never given up hop-
paper headlines." ing either.
Joe wasn't listening. "What Sure, you wouldn't believe it to
makes people unhappy, Harry?" look at them. But that's how people
Now, son, there's a million things are, down underneath. All dreams
that make people unhappy. Given and wishful thinking.
half the night, I could maybe list a "It's tough, Joe," I says, "but
couple of hundred. But to narrow what can you do about it?"
it down to one or two, I couldn't do It always seemed to me that
it. So I just shook my head and let you weren't going to help people by
Joe carry the ball. letting them fall asleep on a couch
92 FRANK M. ROBINSON
at fifty dollars a nap and trying to ning electric motors that spat sparks
convince them they should give up and whined worse'n two alley cats
their dreams. fightin' in a fish market.
"You've got to give people some- On the day that it's finished, Joe
thing positive!" Joe says, hitting an invites me over for dinner again.
end table with his fist so an ash- After the meal's over-and Joe's so
tray jumps off. anxious that he don't even tell
I sat up and began to take notice. Marge how nice the tuna fish cas-
Once Joe had an idea, he usually serole was-we go down into the
did something about it. basement. Marge doesn't come
"You got something in mind," I along.
accused. "What's the matter with
He stopped pacing and pointed Marge?" I ask. "Ain't she in-
his pipe at me like it was the work- terested ?"
ing end of a twenty-two rifle. "I got Joe jams his hands in his pockets,
an idea, Harry," he says, the genius scowls, and says: "We've been hav-
showing in his eyes like the dollar ing a little trouble, Harry. She
signs in a cash register. "I'm going doesn't see things my way."
to make a machine during my vaca- It isn't any of my business so I
tion and ..." clam up and walk over to where
And then Marge is in the door- the whole front half of the base-
way, dishtowel in her hand and ment is curtained off with a couple
little anger spots in her cheeks. of old sheets and a drawstring.
"Joseph Shannon!" she says, stamp- "This is it," Joe says proudly,
ing her foot. "You know perfectly pulling on the drawstring. "The
well what we're going to do and greatest invention since the whee!!"
where we're going to go on your Well, to tell you the truth, son, I
vacation!" was kinda disappointed. I had ex-
Joe's mouth got set and I could pected something big and shiny but
see a storm blowing up so I strug- what there was looked a little like a
gled to my feet and got my hat. cross between a phone booth and
"That was awful nice chili, Missus one of those things in train stations
Shannon," I says, and it isn't much where you take your own photo-
more than two seconds later when graph. I looked inside and all I
I'm out the front door and walking could see was a big screen in front,
up the sidewalk. like on a television set, a coin slot,
and a funny looking hat with a
cable leading out of it.
W ELL, Joe-stubborn Irish-
man that he was-stayed
right in town during his vacation.
"It's real nice," I says, not actual-
ly knowing whether it was or not.
"What is it?"
He had a laboratory in the base- "I call it a Paradise booth," Joe
ment and every day when I went by says.
I could hear him and Wally Claus, I took another look at the ma-
his assistant, working down there, chine, and then looked at Joe. It
hammering and nailing and run- occurs to me that maybe he's been
 THE WORLDS OF JOE SHANNON 93
working too hard or that arguments Joe grinned. "I just thought of
with Marge have sorta unsettled the damndest wGlrld that I could,
him. and here I was!"
"Look, Harry," Joe says, "re- Well, he had me. There wasn't
omember when we were talking much more I could say. Joe's idea,
about all the people who didn't fit of course, was to build machines
in this world?" and put them on the street corners
"Sure I remember," I says. like you would newspaper stands.
0

"What's this got to do with it?" He figured that all the misfits and
"What if people could choose the unhappy people would sneak
the type of world they wanted to out and use them and whisht, off
live in?" they'd fly to their own favorite
I looks at him blankly. "I don't world, leaving all us well-adjusted
get it." people behind. He even had a slo-
He fishes around for his pipe and gan figured out. ((Paradise-for
lights up. "How big's the universe, only a quarter!"
Harry?" You see, he figured he'd have to
"Now, son, I got no idea how big charge a quarter not only to pay
the universe is and I says so. All I for the machines but because peo-
know is that it's big. ple are just naturally suspicious of
"Most scientists say the universe anything they get for free , , ,
is infinite," Joe explains. "And if it's
infinite, then it must have an in-
finite number 'of worlds in it. An
actual world to match whatever
kind of world you can dream up,
J OE AND Wally Claus rigged
up three of the machines and
installed them on some of the better
let's say. All you have to do is step known street corners around Fre-
into the Paradise booth, put on the mont. Joe had trouble getting a li-
cap, visualize the kind of world you cense to do it, but when he told the
want to live in so it shows on the city fathers what the machines did,
screen, and off you go!" they figured the best way to dis-
"You're kidding," I says feebly. courage a crackpot was to let him
"You don't really mean it." go ahead and flop on his own.
He taps me on the chest with his And he came close to doing it.
finger and says: "Yes, I do really Those booths just sat on the street
mean it, Harry. I've tried it and it corners all summer and gathered
works!" dust. People called them Shannon's
And there I thought I had him. folly, which didn't help things with
"If you went off to another world," Marge any.
I says slyly, "just how did you get And then one day, Barney Muhl-
back?" enberg disappeared. We thought
"Built myself another machine," he might have gotten drunk and
he says promptly. fallen in the river and we spent a
I snapped the trap shut. "Just good two days dragging it. And
0

picked this world out of all the mil- then we looked in at his rooming
,lions there are? Just like that." house but we didn't find a thing ex-
94 FRANK M. ROBINSON
cept thirty-nine empty bottles and a "I'll thank you to mind your own
rusty opener. business, young man!" she says
It was Joe who first discovered coldly, and marches into the booth
what had happened. He got hold of and pulls the curtain shut. A mo-
me and we went down to the Para- ment later I hear a coin drop,
dise booth on the corner just oppo- there's a flash of bright blue light,
site from Schultz's Bar and Grill. and then dead silence.
There was a quarter in the coin till I was the nearest one so I lifts the
and when I looked at the screen, curtain and peeks in. Miss Alice
I knew Barney had taken off. and her suitcase and knapsack have
Well, everybody's happy. Joe's disappeared. I look at the screen
glad that his machine has finally even though nobody needs to tell
caught on, Barney is probably hap- me that Miss Alice Markey has
py playing Cowboys and Indians whisked off to a world where all
even though he's way too old for it, the men look like Rudolph Valen-
and the town is happy because its tino and have a fondness for old-
worst sanitary problem has just maid school teachers. Sure enough,
eliminated itself. I was right . . .
The news gets spread around and About mid-August, Joe comes
everybody starts laying odds on around and he's looking mighty
who's gonna be the next to go. No- worried. "Harry," he says, "Wally
body goes near the booths for about Claus has disappeared."
a week, and then the kids start pass- I mull it over for a minute. "It
ingaround a rumor Saturday morn- can't be what you're thinking," I
ing that Miss Alice Markey has sub- says. "Wally's one of the most nor-
mitted her resignation to the school mal men in town."
board and is packing to leave town. We go down to see Wally's wife
The town splits. Half the people and I begin to get the picture.
figure she'll be sensible and leave by Wally was one of those hard work-
bus. The other half, myself in- ing, hard drinking Dutchmen with
cluded, station ourselves at the a family about three times as big as
Paradise booth that's nearest to her his salary. He worked at Stellar
apartment. Along about noon, Miss Electric with Joe and, like I say.
Alice shows up. She's pale and de- sometimes he used to help Joe in hili
termined looking, all dressed up to lab.
travel. Her suitcase is leaking little "When was the last time you saw
bits and ends of clothing and over Wally?" Joe asks gently.
her shoulder she's got a knapsack Mrs. Wally is blubbering in her
with her lunch in it. Always prac- handkerchief and trying to hold a
tical, Miss Alice was. kid on her lap at the same time.
"You aren't really thinking of Two more are hanging onto her
leaving are you, Ma'm?" I ask, chair, and about six others are
thinking it would be a shame for a standing around the room sucking
good-hearted, hard-working school their thumbs and looking wide-eyed
teacher like Miss Alice to leave Fre- at Joe and me.
mont. "It was p-payday," she blurts, the
THE WORLDS OF JOE SHANNON 95
tears streaming down her fat cheeks. "Hang Marge!" he says.
"Wally c-comes home drunk and Well, I just stood there in the
all I do was quietly ask him for his middle of the block and watched
paycheck. And that's the last I see him get smaller and smaller in the
of him. I d-don't know w-what got distance. I couldn't think of any-
into him!" thing more to say and he wouldn't
Anybody with half an eye, I have listened to me anyways.
thought, could piece together what I packed and left town that same
had happened. Wally probably had night. The strawberry season was
one or two at Schultz's bar and got just coming on and I ain't never
to feeling sorry for himself and then missed a harvest yet.
when he got home, he walked into
a hornet's nest. Nine kids bawling
or running around and Mrs. Wally
nagging the life out of him. He
must have wondered if it was worth
A BOUT TWO WEEKS passed
and I couldn't stay away any
longer. I got back to town, took a
it, then found a quarter in his look around, and then went down
pocket and walked around the cor- to the station to wait for Joe to
ner to the nearest Paradise booth. come in on the flyer. I figured some-
Whisht-and Wally's worries are a body ought to be there to break it to
thing of the past. him gently.
Joe and I get the idea at the He gets off the train looking hap-
same time and we chase down to py and successful and I fif,rure he's
the nearest booth. I took one look made arrangements to put a Para-
at the screen and blmhed. Wally dise booth in every city, town, and
had some pretty wild ideas. crossroads in the nation.
On the way home, I tried to talk "Why, hello, Harry," he says
Joe into tearing the machines down. when he sees me, and gives me the
"How do you know where it's going old professional smile and hand-
to end, Joe?" I argues. "You can't shake that really ain't the old Joe
tell who's well-adjusted and who at all. "Any cabs around?"
isn't any more. And besides, some "No, there ain't no cabs around."
of those who ain't have contributed Something in the way I says it
just as much to life as those who makes him give me a sharp look.
are. Maybe even more." "How come? There's always a cou-
"I'm going to leave them up," ple to meet the flyer."
Joe says grimly. "The world will be "There ain't none this time," I
better off without a lot of neurotics says. "No cab drivers."
running around." "No cab drivers?"
"You won't think it over, Joe?" "Ain't no need for 'em any
"No," he says, "and to prove it, more," I says. "Ain't no people in
I'm going to spend the next two town to use cabs. Town's empty.
weeks in New York looking for Everybody's gone."
backing to put up Paradise booths He looks kinda green and says:
aU across the country." "What do you mean, everybody's
"What does Marge think?" I ask. gone?"
9"6 FRANK M. ROBINSON
I shrugs and starts walking back probably located on a world where
to town. "Everybody took off," I it's impossible to bowl anything but
says. "Your Paradise booths were a three hundred game.
real popular." By then, we were in front of Joe's
He still looks blank so I give it house. It was as dark and curtained
to him straight. I had first thought as the others.
about it when Wally Claus disap-
peared. It occurs to me then that
everybody has times when they wish
they could crawl out from under
and quietly disappear. You see, Joe
T HE HOUSE was empty. The
blinds had been drawn, the
dishes neatly stacked and put away,
had assumed that some people were and a note left on the doorstoop
adjusted to society and some telling the milkman not to bring
weren't. Well, actually nobody is, any more milk.
it's just a difference of degree. The note to Joe was on the kitch-
Once Wally took off, it sorta en table. It was hard for Joe to read
burst the dam. More and more peo- on accounta it was blurred in spots
ple sneaked into the booths, where Marge had been crying and
dropped in a quarter, and whisht- the tears had fallen on the paper.
they were a billion miles away. It told Joe-among a whole mess of
It was lonely and dark in town. other things-that she thought she
No street lamps, of course. There had married a man, not a radio set,
was nobody down at the power and since everybody was using them
plant to work the switches. And she was going to visit a Paradise
there weren't any lights in the booth that night.
houses 'cause there wasn't anybody "What am I going to do?" Joe
around. asks remorsefully.
"I can't imagine everybody go- "That's your problem," I says
ing," Joe says, biting his lip. "What heartlessly, thinking of all the chili
about all the kids?" dinners that went with Marge.
"I kinda think they were among "You made the booths in the first
the first," I says. I waves at the place."
starry sky. "There's probably a "Yeah, I know." He pulls out a
planet up there some place where wad of papers from his pocket and
there's nothing but hot rods and thumbs through them. "I got con-
football stadiums. And I suppose tracts here for a Paradise booth in
there's one section of the universe every town over five thousand pop-
fenced off for all the Junior Space- ulation. I could be a millionaire in
men that'll be roaming around it." a month."
Anybody you could think of "Joe," I says, suddenly fright-
mighta had a reason for leaving, I ened, "don't do it. Look what hap-
told him. The boys at Schultz's pened here in Fremont. Why man,
probably took off for a world where if you put those things all over the
Marilyn Monroe has a thousand country there wouldn't be a soul
twin sisters; and Johnny Douglas, left in the United States after a
the ace at Kelly's Bowling- Alley, is month had gone by."
THE WORLDS OF JOE SHANNON 97
~~You're right, Harry," he says. often I could picture it down to the
"Absolutely right." And he takes a last pebble on the beach."
cigarette lighter out of his pocket He gets into the booth.
and sets fire to the papers and lets "Think you'll ever be back, Joe?"
them burn 'til they're nothing but I asks.
ashes. He drops a quarter in the coin
"What are you gonna do with the slot and a picture builds up on the
booths in town?" I ask. screen of a beach with a little town
He goes down to the basement in the distance.
and comes up with a hatchet. "Sure," Joe says confidentially.
"Come on," he says grimly. "I'll "We'll be back." And then there's a
show you what I'm going to do with flash of blue light and Joe's gone,
them!" too.
The first two we chop in small I hung around for a couple of
pieces until the walk is covered with days afterward but Joe and Marge
cogs and wheels and smashed tubes never came back. I think he found
and dials. We stop at the third one. her all right but Marge didn't want
That was the fanciest one of an, anything to do with the old world
with the leather upholstery inside so they just stayed there.
and the big red neon sign on top And that's about all there is, son.
that you could read halfway across Except I've often wondered what
town. happened when strangers drove
Joe stares at it for a long minute, through and found Fremont a ghost
then makes up his mind. He fishes town .••
around in his pocket for a coin.
"What do you think you're going
to do?" I asks, alarmed. Now, lookahere, son, it's no cause
"I'm going to look for Marge," for you to go calling me a liar just
he says. "I need a vacation any- because you never heard of Stellar
ways." Electric and Fremont ain't listed on
"How you gonna find her, Joe?" any map you've got. You didn't ex-
I asks. "You don't even know what pect me to stay behind when
kind of a world to look fad" everybody else had left, did you? I
"Yes, I do," Joe says wistfully. always had a hankerin" for a dif-.
"It'll be the kind of world where ferent type of world, too.
Marge always wanted to spend a A world where a body didn't
vacation. Some place like up in have to work so blamed hard and
Massachusetts during the summer. total strangers would be wiIIin' to
White beaches, little wooden listen to my stories and buy me a
houses, fishing boats and lobster beer ...
pots ... She's described it to me so • • • THE END
 P~rson~lities ~~
18 SCience
.
'.- ~r:-} .~~,-
",..- '"""....-~~.,
~ ~

A Science Romance Began \ ,'.

When Boy Met Flight

R tunes
OC~ETS have. e~i~ted for cen-
as a prImItive weapon,
and many men have speculated on
their possible use in carrying hu-
man beings to the stars. In prac-
tically all cases, such men have been
laughed at as impractical dreamers.
Today, however, rockets carrying
instruments and animals can reach
the heights of the stratosphere,
guided missiles can come within
inches of their pinpointed targets, Theodore
jet planes can race through the air Von Karman
at twice the speed of sound and
more, and the entire concept of in- thrilled by the unusual assignment,
terplanetary travel has become a who talked Von Karman into going
seriously considered possibility with her to witness the first really
rather than a vague dream. One of long flight of an airplane. Whether
the men who deserves a great deal she had any more personal motives
of credit for this change in the for the invitation will never be
state of affairs is comparatively lit- known. It is certain, however, that
tIe known; his name is Theodore the keen-eyed young man with the
Von Karman. aquiline nose succumbed to her
It was not Von Karman's own blandishments, saw his first plane in
idea to visit the small, laboriously flight, and found his only true love.
cleared field which was serving as The romance of the air had caught
Paris' first airport in 1906. He'd him in its grip, and there is scarcely
heard about the successful powered an aspect of the sciences of aero-
flight made three years before by nautics and astronautics that hasn't
the Wright brothers in America, profited from the love affair that
but he hadn't devoted too much ensued.
thought to the subject. It was a The nature of the air and the un-
young French newspaper woman, known rules governing its behavior
98
PERSONALITIES IN SCIENCE 99
have been the main field of inquiry then taken a job as research en-
for Professor Von Karman ever gineer with a machine manufac-
since that day in 1906. The turbu- turer in Budapest. After that fateful
lence, eddies and invisible whirl- morning at the Issy-Ies-Moulineaux
pools of the air have tremendous Airport, designing machinery held
effects on any object moving no charm for Theodore Von Kar-
through this medium-a greater man. With scarcely decent haste he
effect, even, than oceanic currents quit his job and enrolled at the
and tides have on the ships that sail University of Gottingen in Ger-
the seas. Theodore Von Karman many as a graduate student, and
probed the turbulences, studied the won his Ph.D. and a place on the
vortex formations and developed teaching staff after two years of
the Theory of Vortex Streets, the studying mathematics, physics, and
actual mathematical formula for mechanics. Max Born, the great
the effect of drag that these forma- physicist, was on the faculty at Got-
tions produce on objects present in tingen and his interest in Von Kar-
the air. He studied not only the air man's ability in theoretical physics
and its behavior, but also the be- was so great that the two men
havior of objects under the stresses worked together for some time. The
and strains of high speed flight, and first modern theories of the specific
produced successful theories for the heats of solids were the results of
manufacture and design of planes this collaboration.
that have revolutionized that indus- With the exception of time spent
try with incredible speed in the as head of research in the Austro-
short span of 50 years. Because of Hungarian Aviation Corps during
him mankind is flying higher, fast- World War I, he spent the years
er, farther, and more safely than from 1912 to 1926 as director of the
even the most rabidly air-minded newly erected Aeronautic Institute
thought possible a short time ago. at Aachen, and as consultant to
He developed, almost single- such famed aeronautical pioneers
handed the theory of the behavior as Junkers, Zeppelin, and other
of the boundary layers of air, the German aircraft manufacturers. In
theory of buckling beyond the elas- 1926 the Guggenhein Foundation
tic limit, the theory of the deforma- invited him to the United States for
tion of curved pipes, and the non- a visit and lecture tour. Between
linear theory of the stability of thin- lectures he helped to construct the
walled shells. All of these govern wind tunnel facilities at the Gug-
the design of present-day aircraft. genheim Laboratories. Continuing
on around the world after his stay
in America, he introduced the first
ORN in Budapest in 1881, the all-metal propeller and the first
B son of a famed philosopher, he
had received his mechanical en-
wind tunnel to Japan before return-
ing to Aachen.
gineering degree, taught in the Since he established his perma-
schools, spent his compulsory year nent residence in California in
in the Austro-Hungarian army, and 1930, the Guggenheim Aeronau-
 100 PERSONALITIES IN SCIENCE
tical Laboratory at Cal Tech under associates from the California In-
his direction has become tops in the stitute of Technology to join him
field. The ground work for super- in a venture that the manufactur-
sonic flight, a supersonic wind tun- ing brains of the nation had
nel, and several far-sighted rocket thought a "wild scheme." The five
projects were notable firsts in the raised $8,700 among themselves
field under his leadership. He was and started the Aerojet Engineer-
pioneering in the fields of rockets ing Company at Azusa, Cal., with
and jet propulsion long before they just five employees. In ten years the
were thought feasible by military manufacture of the ten-inch thick
men. by three-foot long rockets that help
During World War II, Von Kar- to get big, heavily laden planes off
man headed the Scientific Advisory the ground had grown to a $25,-
Group and was special consultant 000,000 business.
to General "Hap" Arnold of the Theodore Von Karman, who in
Army Air Forces. He also worked addition to his theoretical work is
with the Ordnance Corps on the an ardent teacher, philosopher and
initial development of long range historian, has retired from the presi-
rockets. dency of Aerojet and remains on as
Despite his pioneering, and the chief research consultant. That way
proof his genius in his field, he was he is able to spend what leisure time
coldly turned down by numerous he has after teaching pursuing his
American manufacturing corpora- favorite hobbies-collecting antique
tions when he tried to interest them furniture and adding to a collection
in building and manufacturing of 16-mm films which spans thirty
rockets for the Army. To disprove years. The only devotion that
the general notion that scientists are Theodore Von Karman has al-
dreamers with no financial sense, lowed himself beside the work he
and because he knew the Axis na- loves has been given to his sister,
tions were far ahead of us in re- Dr. Josephine Von Karman, who
search on the use of rockets as was his inseparable companion un-
weapons, he persuaded four of his til her death.
• ••• •
A CHAT WITH THE EDITOR
(Continued from page 3)
"'next few years to supplement diets now and would otherwise remain
in areas which are not now sup- completely useless for agriculture,
plied with sufficient protein for on easily available inorganic chemi-
minimum health requirements. cals. The first use of algae as food
And Japan itself may well be the in the United States will probably
country with the first wide-scale use be for fattening livestock, not hu-
of artificially-grown algae as food. man beings, but there's no reason
The advantages are clear: it's a to place the prediction made in our
chance to grow food containing no first paragraph outside the realm
waste whatever, on land that is of possibility.
Pettigill was, you might say, in tune with the world. It wouldn't
even have been an exaggeration to say the world was in tune
with Pettigill. Then somebody struck a sour note . .•

TAPE JOCKEY
By Tom Leahy

HE LITTLE MAN said, "Why, tion, Mr. Bartle, and sometimes the
T Mr. Bartle, come in. This is in-
deed a pleasure." His pinched face
common courtesies slip my mind. It
is a rather grievous fault and I beg
was lighted with an enthusiastic you to overlook it. It would be
smile. rather distressing to me if Section
"You know my name, so I sup- Secretary Andrews were to hear of
pose you know the Bulletin sent me it; he has a rather intolerant atti-
for a personality interview," the tude toward such faux pas. Do you
tall man who stood in the doorway understand what I mean? Not that
said in a monotone as if it were a I'm dissatisfied with my superior-
statement he had made a thousand perish the 'thought, it's just that-"
times-which he had. "Don't worry, I won't breathe a
"Oh, certainly, Mr. Bartle. I was word," the tall man interrupted
informed by Section Secretary An- without looking at the babbling fel-
drews this morning. I must say, I low shufHing along at his side. "Mr.
am greatly honored by this visit, Pettigill, I don't want to keep you
too. Oh heavens, here I am letting from your work for too long, so I'll
you stand in the doorway. Excuse just get a few notes and make up
my discourtesy, sir-come in, come the bulk of the story back at the
in," the little man said, and bustled paper." Bartle searched the room
the bored Bartle into a great room. with his eyes. "Don't you have a
The walls of the room were lined chair in this place?"
by gray metal boxes that had spools "Oh, my gracious, yes. There
of reproduction tape mounted on goes that old discourtesy again,
their vertical fronts-tape record- eh?" the little man, Pettigill, said
ers, hundreds of them. with a dry laugh. He scurried about
"I have a rather lonely occupa- the room like a confused squirrel
101
102 TOM LEAHY
until he spotted a chair behind his than to serve the Center and in
desk. "My chair. My chair for you, turn, my fellow citizens, whether
Mr. Bartle!" Again the dry laugh. they be Prime, Sub-Prime, Mid, or
"Thanks, Mr. Pettigill." even Sub-Lower!"
"Arthur. Call me Arthur. For- He stopped speaking, affecting
mality really isn't necessary among a martyr-like pose. Bartle covered a
Mid Echelon, do you think? Sec- smile with his hand.
tion Secretary Andrews has often "Well, Bartle, as you know, the
requested I call him Morton, but I Center-the Melopsych Center, a
just can't seem to bring myself to thoroughly inadequate name for
such informality. After all, he is the installation I might say-is the
Sub-Prime Echelon. It makes one point of broadcast for these many
uncomfortable, shall we say, to step taped musical selections contrived
out of one's class?" He stopped talk- by Mass Psych as a therapeutic
ing and the corners of his mouth treatment for the various Echelon
dropped quickly as if he had just levels. It is the Great Psychiatrist-
been given one minute to live. "You the Father Confessor. For where
-you are only Mid Echelon, aren't can one bare one's soul, or soothe
you? I mean, if you are Sub-Prime, one's nerves and dispositicn frayed
I shouldn't be-" by a day's endeavor, better than in
"Relax, Mr. Pettigill--'Arthur' the tender yet firm embrace of
- I am Mid Echelon. And I'm only music?"
that because my father was a man
of far more industry than I; I in-
ARTLE was straining to follow
herited my classification."
"So? Well, now. Interesting-
very. He must have been a great
B the train of thought that was lost
in the camouflage of Pettigill's flow-
man, a great man, Mr. Bartle." ery phraseology.
"So I am told, Arthur. But let's "You see all about you these
get on with it," Bartle said, taking many recorders, Mr. Bartle?"
some scrap paper and a pencil stub Bartle nodded.
from his tunic pocket. "Now, tell "On those machines, sir, are
me about yourself and the spools of tape. Music tapes, all mu-
Melopsych Center." sic. My heavens, every kind: classi-
"Well," the little man began with cal music, jazz, western, all kinds of
a sigh and blinked his eyes peculiar- music. Some tapes are no more
ly as though he were mentally shuf- than a single melodious note, sus-
fling events and facts like a deck of tained for whatever length of time
cards. "Well, I-my life would be necessary to relax and please the
of little interest, but the Center is Echelon level home it is being
of the utmost importance. That's beamed to. Oh, I tell you, Mr. Bar-
it-I am no more than a physical tle, when the last tape has expended
extremity that functions in accord itself for the day, as our service code
with the vital life that courses suggests, I leave this great edifice
through the great physique of the with a feeling of profound pride in
Center! No more-I ask no more the fact that I have so served my
TAPE JOCKEY 103
fellow man. You share that feeling you can't hear it. See-" He
too, don't you Mr. Bartle?" pointed at a needle doing a staccato
Bartle shrugged. Pettigill paused dance on the meter face of the ma-
and looked at the watch he carried chine. "That tells me everything is
on a long chain attached to a clasp operating properly. Mass Psych ad-
on his tunic. vises us never to listen to 'casts. The
"A Benz chronometer, given to selections were designed by them
me by Section Secretary Andrews for specific social and intellectual
on the completion of my twenty- levels. It could cause us to experi-
five years of service. It's radio-syn- ence a rather severe emotional dis-
chronized with the master time- turbance."
piece in Greenland. It gives me a A peculiar look came over Bar-
feeling of close communion with my tle's face. "Is there ever a time
superiors, if you understand what I when all the machines run at once?
mean." That is, when every Echelon home
Bartle did not. He said, "Am I is tuned to the melopsych tape-
keeping you from your work? If I casts ?"
am, I believe I can fill in on most of Pettigill registered surprise.
this back at the paper; we have files "Why, certainly, Mr. Bartle. Don't
on the Center's operation." you know Amendment 34206-B
The little man hurriedly put out specifically states that all Echelon
a hand to restrain Bartle who was homes must receive music therapy
easing out of the chair. at 2300 hours every night? Of
"Not yet, Mr. Bartle," he said, course, different tapes to different
suddenly much more sober. Then homes."
his incongruous pomposity ap- "That's what I mean."
peared again. "My gracious, no, 'Haven't you been abiding by the
you aren't keeping me from my directive, Mr. Bartle?"
work. I just must start the Mid- "I told you lowed my classifica-
Lower Echelon tape. I t won't take tion to my father's industry. I am
a moment. Tonight, they receive definitely lax in my duties."
'Concerto For Ass's Jawbone.' Pettigill laughed-almost
Sounds rather ridiculous, doesn't wickedly, Bartle thought.
it? Be that as it may, there is a cer- "What I'm getting at, is," Bartle
tain stimulation in its rhythmic continued, "what if the wrong 'casts
cacophony. Aboriginality-yes, I were channeled into the various
would say it arouses a primitive homes?"
exaltation." "I remind you, sir, I am in
He flicked a switch above the charge of the Center and have been
recorder, turned a knob, and for thirty years. Not even the slight-
pressed the starter button on the est mistake of that nature has ever
machine. The tape began winding occurred during that time!"
slowly from one spool to another. "That, I can believe, Pettigill,"
"Is it 'casting'?" Bartle asked. "I Bartle said, his voice edged with
don't hear a thing." sarcasm. "But, hypothetically, if it
Pettigill laughed. "My stars, no; were to happen, what would the re-
104 TOM LEAHY
action be?" haps two," he mumbled. "Yes, I
The little man fidgeted with his think perhaps two could."
watch chain. Then he leaned close "You and who else, Pettigill?"
to Bartle and said in a barely audi- Pettigill stepped back and drew
ble whisper, "This isn't for publica- himself erect. "What? You actually
tion in your article, is it?" entertain the idea th-" He
"You don't think the Govern- laughed dryly. "Oh, you're pulling
ment would allow that, do you? No, my leg, eh, Mr. Bartle."
this is to satisfy my own curiosity." "I suppose I am."
"Well, since we're both Mid "Well, such a remark gives one a
Echelon-brothers, so to speak-I jolt, if you know what I mean.
suppose we can share a secret. It Even though we are speaking of
will be disastrous! I firmly believe it a hypothetical occurence, we must
will be disastrous, Mr. Bartle!" He be cautious about such talk, Mr.
moved closer to the tall man. "I re- Bartle. Although our government is
call a secret administrative directive a benevolent organization, it is ill·
we received here twenty years ago disposed toward such ideas." He
concerning just that. In essence, it cleared his throat. "Now, is there
stated that, though music therapy anything else I can tell you about
has its great advantages, if the pat- the Center?"
tern of performance were broken Bartle arose from the chair, stuff-
or altered, a definite erratic emo- ing the scrap paper and unused
tional reaction would develop on pencil back in his pocket. "Thanks,
the part of the citizens! That was no," he said, "I think this'll cover it.
twenty years ago, and I shudder to Oh yes, the article will appear in
think -what might be the response this Sunday's edition. Thanks, Pet-
now; especially if the 'cast were tigill, for giving me your time."
completely foreign to the recipient." "Oh, I wish to thank you, Mr.
He gave a little shudder to em- Bartle. Being featured in a Bulletin
phasize the horror of the occurence. article is the ultimate to a man such
"It would make psychotics of the as I-a man whose only wishes are
entire citizenry! That's what would to serve his country and his
happen-a· nation of psychotics!" brothers."
"The fellow who didn't hear the "I'm sure you're doing both with
'miscast' would be top dog, eh, Pet- great efficiency," Bartle said as he
tigill? He could call his shots." apathetically shook Pettigill's hand
and started toward the door.
"A moment, Mr. Bartle-" the
little man called.
P ETTIGILL twirled the watch
. chain faster between a forefinger
and thumb. "No, he'd gain noth-
Bartle stopped and turned.
"I perceive, Mr. Bartle, you are a
ing," he said, staring as though man of exceptional ability," Petti-
hypnotized by the whirling, gold gill said and cleared his throat. "It
chain. "It would take more than seems a shame to waste such talent;
one· sane person to control the it should be directed toward some
der~lict population. Perhaps-per- definite goal. Do you understand
TAPE JOCKEY lOS
what I mean? After all, we're all you did not hear the 2300 'cast?"
brothers, you know. It would be for "You assume correctly, Pettigill.
my benefit as well as yours." What d'you want?"
"Sure, sure, 'brother'," Bartle "Come on over to the Center;
snorted and left. we'll split a fifth of former Section
He started for the paper office Secretary Andrews' Scotch."
but decided to let the story go until "What the hell do you mean?"
morning. What the hell, he had a "Were you serious about that
stock format for all such articles. 'therapy revolution' we were talking
The people were the same: selfless, about this afternoon?"
heroic type, citizens working for the "I'm always serious. So what?"
mutual good of all. Only the names "Excellent, excellent," Pettigill
were different. And yet, this Petti- laughed. "I've spent thirty years
gill had disturbed him. Perhaps it just waiting for such a man as you!
was something he had said that No, I'm serious, my cynical friend
Bartle could not remember. -what position would you like in
the new government?"
"Let's see-why don't you make
E WALKED into his warm flat my descendants real peachy happy
H and extracted the pre-cooked
meal from the electroven. He ate
and make me, say, Administrator of
Civilian Relations. That sounds big
with little relish, abstractly thinking and important."
of the foolish little cog in the gov- "Fine, fine! Tell me, Bartle-
ernmental machine he had talked how are your relations with psy-
with that afternoon. Or was Petti- chotics?"
gill that foolish little cog? Bartle Bartle leaped to the floor. In-
could not help but feel there was stantly he recalled what Pettif,ill
something deep inside him that did had said that had disturbed him.
not show in that wizened and seem- When they had been discussing the
ingly open little face. He thought repercussions of a miscast, Pettigill
about it the rest of the evening. had said, "it will be disastrous" and
He looked at the clock on the not "it would be disastrous." The
night table-2300 hours. "Pettigill's devil had been planning just such a
Lullaby Hour," he thought. Bartle thing for God knows how long!
chuckled and switched off the bed "How many of 'em, Pettigill?"
light. He was asleep before the Bartle asked.
puffs or air had escaped from under "A lot, Bartle, a lot," the little
the covers he pulled over himself. man answered. "I would say 170
When the phone rang at 0300, million! I might even say, a nation
Bartle was strangely not surprised, of psychotics!" He giggled again.
although, consciously, he was ex- A smile sliced through Bartle's
pecting no call. sallow cheeks. "My relations with
"Hello," he said sleepily. th6m would be the best! Keep that
"Bartle? This is Pettigill." The Scotch handy, Pettigill. I'll be right
voice was Pettigill's but the nervous, over."
timid, quality was gone. " I assume • • • THE END
After rescue, revenge was uppermost in Chet Bar-
field's mind; the hideous, bestial Agvars had to be
taught a lesson they'd never forget. His rescuers
seemed to disagree, however-until Chet learned his
lesson too!

By Dave Dryfoos
Illustrated by Rudolph Polois

N THE VILLAGE clearing, un- But the dense hardwood chain

IChet
der the diffuse red sun of Hedlot,
Barfield listened intently.
on his ankle brought him up short.
When it tightened, he remembered,
Mostly he heard the villagers, the and slouched to all fours again,
Agvars, noisy with the disregard for moving with the gorilla-like gait of
sound that comes of defective hear- the Agvars toward the unshaded
ing. post he was chained to.
But above their clamor was an- He'd been observed. Pawfulls of
other note. No ... Yes! There it dirt stung his bent and whip-scarred
was again-the swish-roar-scream back, and a treble chorus stung his
of a spaceship! ears and nerves. The village boys
Chet's heart lifted to the altitude were chanting derisively. Chet had
of that ship. Rescue! Rescue was at never been able to learn the lan-
hand for him, after three years as guage, but the tone of voice was un-
a prisoner. mistakable.
Thought of it momentarily over- He huddled against the post,
came the passivity that years of knees to chin, hands clasped around
starvation had made his habit. He his matted hair, awaiting the in-
even forgot himself enough to walk evitable sticks and slops. He heard
erect a few steps, staring skyward the children's voices fade as they
-heavenward I-within cupped scattered throughout the village of
hands. haphazard lean-tos in search of
107
 108 DAVE DRYFOOS
especially sickening things to throw. he'd looked in the tight white uni-
For a few minutes, then,he'd have form: six feet of well-fed musCle ac-
a breather. But not for long-they centuated by the garment's lines,
wouldn't forget ... the blue stars on each lapel just
No. But the fellows hadn't for- matching his eyes, the peak of his
gotten him, either. He could stand cap harmonizing with the straight
this for a day or two more. A week line of his jaw.
or a month, even. It didn't matter. He . remembered how he'd
This would end-soon. sounded, speaking words of non-
His turn would come! He'd make chalant and unfelt modesty in the
these devils suffer as he had suf- soft Southern voice the girb had
fered. He swore it! liked so well. He could have had his
He was glad he'd stayed alive for pick of girls. He'd been a picked
this. It had been a fight to live, a man himself.
struggle he'd often thought futile Highly selected-that was the
while he made it. Learning to eat phrase. He was highly selected,
whatever he could get, training Chet reminded himself, shrinking
himself to breathe the local atmos- as the children came closer and
phere in the special rhythm its com- their missiles began to really hurt.
position required, accepting de- He'd been highly selected since
gradations too cruel for a captive his eighteenth year. At 25 he'd had
animal, avoiding the resistance that seven years of pre-flight training-
would have brought merciful mur- seven years of indoctrination speci-
der ... All that, yet it felt strange, fically designed to give him self-
now, to be so glad he was alive. confidence enough to face the void
He heard the children returning, itself without flinching.
and crouched lower. A few clots of Now he flinched from children
garbage spattered against the post ... Still, the schooling had worked,
-teasers, to make him angry, so he acknowledged-so well that
he'd turn to howl his rage, and offer when their ship crashed into this
his face as a target. planet Hedlot's salty sea, his first
Good memories, these little beasts reaction had been indignation at
had. It was almost a year since he'd the elements.
last done that ... His second thought had been for
Well, he had a memory, too. And his comrades. But they went down
while they pelted him-from fairly with the ship; he alone had been
close range, now, with sharp rocks hurled clear. Learning that, he'd
among the wads of filth-he could swum resolutely in the direCtion he
take refuge in the memory of those knew the shore to be, and made it.
last glorious days on Earth. Exhausted, all right~shocked,
naked, half-dead really. But quite
ready to point out his rank and
EMEMBRANCE was itself a identity to the first passer-by.
R change brought by the roaring
ship; usually he moped in a vegeta-
Lucky for him, Chet mused, that
he'd had no chance to express his
tive daze. But now he recalled how callow arrogance. Shock saved his
UNIFORM OF A MAN 109
life-sank him into a stupor, so ahet told himself he should have
when the Agvars found him, he counted on that kind of accuracy,
was helpless. He knew it was only but he'd underestimated his fellow
because it had seemed perfectly pilots.
safe that they'd tied him up and He had himself signalled Earth-
brought him to the village, instead side, just before the crash, that his
of killing him then and there. ship was about to land. He'd given
By the time he'd recovered some- his position-described sea and
what from the initial shock and ex- shoreline. They'd find him, if he
haustion, they were used to him, stayed chained to the post.
convinced he was harmless if well But he didn't. Taken unaware by
chained-up. And they played it safe the Agvars who loosed him, ahet
by giving him nothing but a little was docile, happy even-certain
water-no clothing, no shelter, no they wouldn't hurt him now, but
food ... would try to minimize their former
They let him live, amused by the cruelty as they turned him over to
thirst that drove him to lap up each the spacemen.
morning's drenching dew, fas- When they put new chains on
cinated by his ravenous appetite for bim, around neck and waist, he
the garbage they flung at him. thought it was only to make sure
The Agvars-furry, savage half- he didn't run away before they
men, with something of the dog and could deliver him ostentatiously to
something of the ape and little of the ship.
the man about them-the Agvars A dozen adult males had
let him live, ahet realized, for ex- gathered in the clearing, but that
actly one reason: he made them was hardly an unusual event. Even
feel superior. when they all started out, on a
They'd learn now! Even though winding trail that didn't head in
the children had stopped shrieking the direction of the ship's recent
and gone away, disgusted at his landing-sounds, ahet was con-
passivity, no villager's insensitive vinced they were just circling some
ears could yet hear the ship. geographic obstacle.
In their boastfulness, the Agvars He was interested in the forest of
had invited other tribes to come 20-foot mosses and 50-foot ever-
and look at him and poke at him green hardwoods pressing densely
and laugh at him. His presence was on each side of the trail. U ncon-
known over the whole planet. He'd scious when they'd carried him
be found, no matter where on Hed- from the beach, he'd never been
lot the spaceship landed. out of the village since, had never
And then would come the show- inspected these woods. And he
down! thought his mates from Earth
would want to know about them.
ahet could easily have outdis-
BUT THE showdown came ear-
lier than he expected, speeded
tanced the clumsy Agvars if not
forced to imitate their crouching
because the ship landed close by. walk. But he knew from experience
110 DAVE DRYFOOS
that to show off his erect stance and ing showed the Agvars were sorry
18-inch height-advantage would they hadn't taught him their lan-
make them find some unpleasant guage. Probably not, he decided;
way to put him in his place. probably they didn't want to think
They'd shown him that quite he could have learned it.
often. He'd show them-but later, He'd tried, in the absence of les-
not just yet. And after showing sons, by repeating what he heard
them, he'd put these Agvars be- around him. He'd learned a few
hind him-them, their filthy planet, words, of course. And for a while, a
and their scorching sun. couple of villagers had seemed to
It had often tortured him, that enjoy and encourage his parrot-
gauzy, amorphous solar blaze, but like attempts to. recite whole sen-
never more than now. For the sun tences they voiced for him. But
of Hedlot, when he glanced at it after a few beatings, Chet gathered
vengefully, proved from its position that he'd only been mouthing
that he was not being taken to the obscenities. And that experience,
ship, but away from it. plus inertia, had made him give up
the attempt.
Just as well, he now decided. If
D ISAPPOINTMENT didn't
. rouse Chet to a fighting pitch
-it caused him to become crafty.
they'd known of his technical
skills, if they'd let him raise their
standards, the Agvars might be
Slyness and deceit, the indirect carrying bows and arrows, instead
weapons of the powerless, were not of mere slings and sticks.
attributes schooled into a student Their hard luck! What they
space-pilot. But he'd learned them didn't know, they'd never learn
tied naked to a sunbaked post. from him! The mere presence of
That, too, is an effective school. a spaceship on the same planet gave
He hung back, faking fatigue. him a buoyant feeling of contempt.
Malingering brought him pokes But though contempt helped
and jerks, made the Agvars choke him endure that journey through
him and beat him and harangue the tall mosses and taller trees, it
him in their sullen mutter of clicks couldn't ward off exhaustion.
and growls and glottal catches. But When the party stopped at the foot
some sense of urgency drove them of a sheer rocK spire that rose four
to give up their fruitless sadism or five hundred feet above the tall-
after a while, and drag him through est growth, he collapsed and slept.
the trail's blue mud by brute
strength, two on the neck-chain,
two hauling at his waist.
He let them. Not that he was Tdawn
HEY WOKE him in the pre-
twilight and another
inured to pain-he just was stub- group of Agvars took over. These
born. -there were only three-looked
He wondered, once when they all older than the familiar villagers.
stopped at a spring for a drink and And they'd smeared their faces
some rest, whether their harangu- with bands of red and yellow mud.
UNIFORM OF A MAN 111
He wondered.•• will-to make a stand.
He stopped wondering when He passed up a wide shelf, and
they passed a pile of bones at the let them tug him along a narrow
base of the spire. Among the grisly ledge without much objection. He
relics were skulls-brow-ridged, chose a near-vertical pitch about a
pointed, unmistakably Agvar. Sac- hundred feet from the bottom-a
rifices! mere crack that slanted upward to
He was to be killed, then, to the right, offering the shallowest
propitate his own rescuers. His of hand-and foot-holds.
three guides-or guards-must be He could only hope that he
witch-doctors! He let them drag wasn't in sight from the trail-or
him along while he thought about else that the villagers had left. He
it. couldn't see through the treetops
They'd give him no breakfast, to make sure. But he hadn't the
not even water. If they'd eaten strength to worry.
themselves, it was while he still He froze to the rock, pulling as
slept. The scraps, if any, hadn't if in fright. The two witch-doctors
been flung in his face, and there'd in single file above him jerked on
been no smooth post to lick the the chains they held. But they
dew from. needed a hand apiece to hold on
Hunger and thirst were nothing with, and couldn't lift him.
new, but neither was the resulting The one below, standing on a
lethargy. Realizing his danger, Chet six-inch ledge, tried to push. When
could only hang back. that didn't work, he broke off a
Today though that was an old chunk of rock and beat Chet's left
stall; the witch-doctors seemed to foot with it.
expect it. They broke branches Spurred by the sudden pain,
from the trees and beat him till he Chet kicked the witch-doctor in the
bled. And when the climb up the face. The Agvar fell, screaming-
rocks began, they put one of their until he crashed through the tree-
number behind him to push, set the tops and was still.
other two in front to pull, and tried
by main strength to haul him up
the five hundred foot rock-face.
Hazily, not hastily, Chet tried to ToingCHET, forgetful of his hear-
superiority, it seemed as if
think of a way out. His starved that outcry would be heard on
brain could come up with nothing. Earth itself. Certainly he expected
That, he finally decided, was only it to alarm the countryside. Still,
natural; it was not thinking that unless the swift foot-thrust had
was needed, but action. been seen, no one would be sure
Still, he wasn't precipitate. Cau- the witch-doctor's fall was not an
tion reinforced his habitual lassi- accident...
tude while trying to dispell it. Half Chet had tasted victory for the
a dozen times he tensed for com- first time in three years! He'd had
bat, only to. relax hopelessly. But a little revenge, and he wanted
finally he found a place-and the more. He could take the other two
112 DAVE DRYFOOS
witch-doctors with him to death! through a forest overgrown with
He put all his weight on the menace, full of life he could always
chains they held. But they chose sense but seldom see-of noises
not to die-let go, instead, to save whose origin he couldn't guess.
themselves. The chain-ends rat- The Agvars, for all their inferior
tled past, dislodging a small ava- hearing, could at least interpret
lanche of dust and gravel and what they heard. Chet couldn't.
bruising stones-dislodging him Every whispered cry, wild grunt
when the full weights jerked at and muttered growl was completely
neck and waist. unfamiliar. He didn't know which
Prepared, he didn't let himself sound signalled danger. He feared
be pulled away from the cliff's face. them all.
He slid down it to the ledge from But more than sounds he feared
which the Agvar below him had the silence that chinked the logs of
fallen. There he teetered a mo- time between each nerve-wracking
ment, balancing precariously on noise. Often he had to stop and
toes scraped raw in his slide. Claw- rest, and silence threatened him
ing fingers found a crack to the then like the ominous quiet of bated
right, a knob to the left-safety! breath. When he'd force himself
He clung there breathless. to go on, each tree seemed like a
No time for resting! Rattling porchful of malicious old women,
stones warned of pursuit. He looked pretending to disregard him as he
quickly around, found a route, and passed, certain to make trouble
after a short traverse let himself when he'd gone. The buzz of small
slide to a long talus-slope. Down life-forms was a deprecatory mur-
it he ran barefoot through sharp mur, ready at any second to burst
debris into concealing mosses. into condemnation and terror...
The silence alarmed him. But it What was that sound? And that?
freed him from the need for craft; Noises that seemed out of place in
he didn't know what to avoid nor their familiarity pinned him to the
where it might be lurking, so he set forest floor.
out for the spaceship by what he It was only the village. Satisfied,
hoped was the shortest way. he worked up courage to skirt the
In the village, he'd located the place and walk on toward the ship.
landing-place by sound, fixed it by But he was near collapse. When
sun. The sun would guide him now. he heard human voices he could
Not accurately, but well enough. only yell incoherently once or twice,
The ship would have landed in a sob, and pass out.
clearing. Standing on its tail, it
should loom high over the woods.
And its men would scatter-he
ought to run into one. DIMLY through succeeding days
Chet was aware of the ship's
Run he did, trotting under sickbay, of the enlisted attendants,
thirty pounds of hardwood chain the hovering doctor, the silent com-
on reserves of strength dredged mander. Later he realized he'd
from a deep pit of desperation, been kept under opiates so his body
UNIFORM OF A MAN 113

could recover while his mind rested. fore. But this was his first fully
At the time, he felt only the dim- conscious look at them. Command-
ness. er Seymour, the C.O., looked sur-
It wore off abruptly. He was in prisingly young for his job. He was
a civilized cot, stretching luxurious- young, Chet decided-not over
ly, aware of warmth and comfort thirty-five-and his short slight
and a cheerful voice that seemed figure made him seem younger
familiar. still.
He opened his eyes. A fat young He had few words. "You're look~
corpsman had been watching. ing fine, Barfield," he said, and sat
"How do you feel, sir?" the boy on the edge of the cot, thin face im-
said. "Ready for coffee?" passive, gray eyes alert.
"Sure," Chet answered. And Dr. Pine-tall, balding, affable-
grinned lazily as he sat up to sip was associated in Chet's mind with
the proffered cup. "You've taken hypodermic needles, bitter medi-
good care of me." cines, restrictions. Today, the doc-
"Used to be a barber in civilian tor gave him a firm and friendly
life:' the boy said smugly. And handshake, but yesterday, Chet
Chet found with an exploratory felt, that same hand had inflicted
hand that he'd been shaven and pain.
;horn, bathed, bandaged where "Glad to see you looking so
necessary-even, he saw, clad in a well," the doctor said, taking a
pair of fancy red broadcloth pa- stance against the wall by the port-
jamas. hole. He sounded sincere enough,
"You've got me cleaned up, all but Chet, resuming his chair, won-
right," he said. "Whose p.j.'s have dered how much of the gladness
I got on?" was based on the doctor's pride in
"Dr. Pine's, sir. You'll see him professional handiwork.
in a couple of minutes-he and the There was an awkward pause.
Old Man been waiting to question Chet remembered to murmur po-
you. There's a robe and slippers, if lite replies to the men who were
you want me to help you get so obviously sizing him up. Then
up..." he asked, "When do you think I'll
"I'm not helpless," Chet said, be ready for duty?"
boasting in his turn. He proved it His visitors exchanged a glance.
by climbing-gingerly-out of the "Later," Commander Seymour
cot. The boy helped him into the said. "Take it easy while you can,
robe, found the slippers, pushed the Barfield." He smiled unconvincing-
small room's one chair an inch ly at what must have been meant as
closer to the open porthole, and a joke.
left, closing the door behind him. Talk again lapsed, and Chet be-
came uncomfortable. "The corps-
man said you wanted to ask me
V AGUELY Chet found he knew
. the two men who soon entered
the room-they'd been there be-
some things," he said. And added,
"You've already questioned me,
haven't you?"
114 DAVE. DRYFOOS
"Only a little," Dr. Pine said, you, sir? Do you want your men
flexing his long fingers and looking chained to a post if they get cap-
down at them. "We-ah-we had tured? Do you want me to dismiss
to find out about your shipmates. three years of torture as a mistake,
Commander Seymour wanted to or something? Do you want-"
look for them, naturally..." "Here, here!" Commander Sey-
Naturally. . . "Are we going to mour said. He didn't raise his
leave here now, sir?" Chet asked voice. But as he rose from the cot,
the commander. Chet rose with him, and found
"Not yet," he said. "Dr. Pine has himself at attention. They eyed
a job to do." each other.
"What's that, Doctor?" "Relax," Dr. Pine suggested.
"I'm going to study your Agvar "Please sit down-both of you."
friends, Mr. Barfield. Want to Commander Seymour obeyed his
help?" subordinate. But Chet, still stand-
"Sure," Chet said. "There's ing, still angry, turned hotly on the
nothing I'd rather do than bring doctor.
you a few corpses to dissect." "I can't just sit and let you talk
"That-ah-that isn't the idea," about rewarding the Agvars for tor-
Dr. Pine said, bending his fingers turing me!" he cried. "We don't
and rocking from toes to heels. "I have to appease them-they can't
-ah-I want to do a little anthro- fight. You don't have to be
pology-:!......study them in the life..." afraid-"
"Why?" Chet demanded. "I can "That'll do, Barfield!" Com-
tell you all about them. I can tell mander Seymour was on his feet
you what they did to me, too! They again, and his tone was sharp. It
don't· deserve to live! And this quieted Chet instantly.
planet won't be safe for spacemen In silence he watched Com-
till they're dead. Why waste time mander Seymour motion Dr. Pine
studying them? It isn't as if you to follow him out the door. Some-
were a professional anthropologist, one locked it after them.
sir-didn't you give me medical
care?"
"Yes. . . But I do anthopology,
too. Medical help-ah-gains the
confidence of the people. . . ."
A LTERNATELY tossing on the
cot and pacing the floor, Chet
seethed for hours. His first inter-
"You mean-?" Chet was at view with the new C.O., and two
first incredulous, then outraged. bawlings-out in five minutes! Be-
"You mean you're not going to cause of Pine-Pine, who kept him
punish them?" confined in this room, seeing no
"That's right," Dr. Pine said, one but the attendants, having his
smiling. meals alone. . .
"That's wrong!" Chet contra- When a day. passed, and then
dicted. two, and he felt his strength return-
Cheeks burning, he turned to ing, Chet was sure that Dr. Pine
Commander Seymour. "How about kept him out of the wardroom and
UNIFORM OF A MAN 115
away from the other officers only self in approaching the village. But
as punishment. Three years a pris- he wondered how it was to be man-
oner-and a prisoner still! By the aged.
time Commander Seymour came to He was told the plan when Com-
see him again, Chet had spent mander Seymour and Dr. Pine met
hours plotting revenge. him outside by the ship's tail. The
"Barfield," the commander said, commander, who was armed, and
"Dr. Pine is going-alone-to the the doctor, already naked except
village you escaped from. He'll pre- for a pair of slippers and a sun-
tend he's you, or someone like you lamp tan, would go with him by
-whichever he can get away with. the shortest route direct to the vil-
So here's your chance for a little lage. But only Dr. Pine would en-
fresh air-you can guide us to the ter it.
village." Commander Seymour explained
"Does that mean I go on active Chet's part-and his own. "Bar-
duty, sir?" field," he said, "I want you to find
"Not quite. Dr. Pine hasn't re- and point out some kind of game
leased you from sickbay." animal they use for food. I count
Pine again! Pine found him on killing something after we come
good enough to imitate, it seemed, under the Agvars' observation.
but not good enough to put on That should show off our weapon-
duty. superiority-and pave the way for
Suddenly Chet saw the possibili- a feast."
ties. So Pine was going to imper- "No medical stuff?" Chet asked
sonate him? Then Pine would be sarcastically. "I thought Dr. Pine
taken for an escaped sacrifice, a was supposed to cure all their ills,
prisoner who'd killed a witch- not give them indigestion."
doctor! "He has to get their confidence
Tell him? Huh. Let him find out before he can treat them," Com-
the hard way! Then even he, yel- mander Seymour explained seri-
low as he was, would want revenge ously. "And on a strange planet
on the Agvars. If he survived their like this, he's taking quite a chance
welcome... to try treatment at any time: if it
"I'll be glad to go, sir," Chet said. fails, they're apt to accuse him of
murder!"
Chet said nothing. But he ·felt as
THEY BROUGHT him fatigues,
not a dress uniform. But fa-
if he'd drawn a wild card in a poker
game.
tigues and shoes-even tightones
-were clothing, at least. And
clothing would change his appear-
ance. The Agvars had never seen THEY'D ENTERED the woods.
Even before that, Dr. Pine had
him dressed, nor, since his first days, lagged because his slippers kept
with a haircut and shave. Whether falling off, and now he brought up
Pine's impersonation worked or the rear. Chet, in the lead, took
not, Chet saw no danger for him- a last long look at. the ship before
116 DAVE DRYFOOS
the trees and mosses cut off his tainly won't risk casualties just to
view. give you a cheap feeling of satis-
He went on slowed by vague re- faction!"
luctance. He didn't like this forest. He couldn't escape. Commander
The trees dwarfed and oppressed Seymour, looking from over Chet's
him. Old fears began to stir and shoulder like a walking sneer, stuck
gnaw, but at new places. close. But he gave the impression of
Perhaps the two men he guided following a man who smelled bad.
would stand together against him. Was he? Chet wondered.
If so, revenge on one would cut Wondering, he unconsciously
him off from both as sharply as the hung his head, slowed-stopped.
forest cut him off from the ship... Dr. Pine caught up. He and Com-
Well, it was worth it! They mander Seymour, faintly breathless
hadn't put him on duty, hadn't from the trying need to regulate
accepted him as one of them- their respiration consciously, looked
selves. . . He couldn't be cut off at Chet questioningly.
much more than he was already! Again they were sizing him up.
And Seymour might listen to rea- Suddenly Chet wished he could go
son. After all, he was a practical back to that first interview in the
man, a leader. And Pine was sickbay, and change all the things
yellow! he'd said.
"What's Pine after, sir?" Chet "We can't go on!" he blurted.
asked over his shoulder. "Why "You don't know what you're get.
take these risks you've mentioned?" ting into, Doctor!"
"Well, partly for safety: if we "Oh?" said Dr. Pine agreeably.
kill any Agvars, we're likely to have "I know more than you think,
to kill them all, or have the sur- young feller." He smiled encourag-
vivors to contend with indefinitely. ingly.
That might cost us some casual- "That-that I've killed a witch-
ties. . . And of course there's the doctor? That you may be taken for
research angle, but that's out of my a murderer?"
line." "Sure! You-ah-you talked
"What's the matter with punish- about it under drugs. We . . .
ment, sir-discipline? You use dis- weren't spying, Chet. We just
cipline on your crew-why not on wanted you to tell your story with-
their enemies?" . out reliving all the agony. It
"Because the men understand wasn't intended as-ah-a trap..."
the rules and the penalties. The He massaged his fingers apologeti-
Agvars don't." cally.
"Kill them, sir! That they'll un- "No. . ." Chet agreed. "But-I·
derstand! " was-trying-to-Iead-you-into-one!"
"No!" Commander Seymour
spoke sharply. "If they don't fight
back, that's cold-blooded slaughter.
If they do, it's war. I don't hold
with butchery, Barfield, and I cer-
HHeADcouldn't
HE SAID that aloud? Chet
be sure.
listened for his own voice.
UNIFORM OF A MAN 117
The woods were quiet. His breath· the world not take for peace a risk
ing seemed strangely loud. He held we'd routinely accept in war?"
it-and heard the Agvars moving Why not? But why not minimize
in the woods. Rustling, scraping, it, just the same. The Agvars, in-
crackling-grunting their guttural visible but noisy, were all around
dialog. Crashing! Threatening them, now. At any moment the
them! woods might rain spears.
"Let's go back!" he urged, try- "It would be safer with two of
ing to sound casual. But his trail us," Chet said musingly. "Your
was blocked. knowledge of anthropology and
"Stick around," Dr. Pine sug- medicine-mine of the people-"
gested easily. "You - ah - you "Barfield, you're still on the sick·
haven't said anything we didn't list," Commander Seymour pointed
know. We're going right ahead." out. He watched Chet's face for a
"But why? Once more Chet was long moment before adding, "Still
hotly incredulous. "To risk your -if you're over your sick-minced
life for a few stray facts? Become need for revenge-it's possible Dr.
a casualty while trying to avoid Pine may find you fit. It's up to
casualties? It doesn't make sense!" him."
Dr. Pine stared at his own hands Chet was afraid to ask directly.
as if to hide his shyness in them. He pleaded with his eyes.
"As to the fact-seeking," he said Dr. Pine grinned' broadly at the
slowly, "well . . . it's a matter of both. "He's ready for duty," sir,"
opinion. I've lost a few class- he said.
mates... Risks in research are com- Commander Seymour stepped
monplace-and accepted as worth- back and scowled. "All right, Mr.
while by most people... Barfield," he barked, "I'll give you
"And-ah-peace. . . You once just three minutes to change to the
called it appeasement, but it isn't, uniform of the day!"
always. Well, look. If we fought Chet's jaw dropped. His vision,
those Agvars, somebody'd have to also downcast, noted the fatigues
take a patrol into their village and he wore, the muddy shoes. Then he
capture prisoners for our Intelli- looked up, saw the twinkle in his
gence, right?" C.O.'s eyes, and understood.
Chet nodded dumbly. In exactly three minutes he
"Well, in a way, I-ah-am the made the required change. He
peaceful equivalent of that patrol. would enter the village as he'd left
The-ah-risk I run is less than if it-in the undress uniform of a
we had a war and a patrol skirmish Man.••
as part of it, though. And why in • • • THE END

• • Ie •

YOUR WATCH is wrong! Your calendar will-some day be

obsolete! ••• You needn't lose sleep over it,. but read_about it
in IT'S ABOUT TIME in the April issue.
 one 100,000th that of light. Never-
theless, the task has now been ac-
complished, with a highly refined
version of the interferometer, by a
group of physicists at the National
Bureau of Standards.
The heart of the electron inter-
ferometer is a series of three copper
crystals only about four lO-mil-
lionths of an inch thick. A beam
of electrons passed through these
The Electron Interferometer is split and then recombined. On
NTIL 25 years ago, there was emerging from the third crystal,
U still controversy about whether- it is made up of a pair of rays which
electrons consisted of particles or have been differently diffracted.
waves. Then two scientists named The difference in the length of the
C. J. Davisson and L. H. Germer paths the rays must travel can be
demonstrated that they have the varied by moving the first crystal
nature of waves. They accom- back and forth or by exposing the
plished this by making electrons electrons_ to electric or magnetic
produce a diffraction pattern, one fields within the instrument.
of the two methods by which light The electron interferometer is
had been shown to consist of waves more than just a testing device for
in earlier experiments. an already established theory, how-
In the case of light, this is done ever. Its designers hope to improve
by passing a beam through a very on it so that it can be used as a
measuring rod for various electric,
narrowly spaced grating so that its
magnetic and electronic purposes.
waves alternately reinforce and
cancel one another, forming a dif-
fraction pattern of light and dark Sugar and Spice
bands. Davisson and Germer used
a crystal for their grating in the
you ARE more sensitive to bit-
ter tastes than any others. Next
electron experiment, with similar strongest taste is sour, followed by
results. salt, with sweet bringing up the
The second test originally de- rear. This has been discovered by
vised for light used an interfero- food technologists at the University
meter, an instrument which splits a of California. They found that hu-
beam of light in two and forces one mans can detect sugar in the
half to travel a longer route than amount of one tablespoonful in two
the other. When the parts are re- gallons of water and one tablespoon
united their waves are out of phase of salt in ten gallons of water. Hy-
and the result is a pattern of inter- drochloric acid (the sour taste) can
ference fringes. It was difficult to be spotted even when one table-
apply this test to electrons, however, spoonful is mixed with 40 gallons of
since their wavelength is only about water, while the presence of a table-
. 118
SCIENCE BRIEFS 119

spoon of quinine in 1,000 gallons of an atomic bomb casualty has been

water is still noticeable. The scien- subjected. This potential life-saver
tists plan to continue these tests is known as the dosimeter; it was
with various types of food. designed by naval scientists and is
being produced by the Corning
No More Teeth? Glass Works.
The dosimeter contains a piece
I T'S VERY possible that there
won't be a sound human tooth in of supersensitive silver-activated
phosphate glass. Worn as a locket,
the world by 3,000 A. D. The only
hope that we'll keep our choppers the device permanently records the
lies in finding out what causes tooth radiation received; the amount can
decay and discovering means of be measured immediately or weeks
preventing it. So says Prof. Reidar after the exposure by use of a spe-
F. Sognnaes of the Harvard School cial reading instrument. When il-
of Dental Science, who urges the luminated by ultra-violet light in
speeding up of research along these this instrument, the phosphate glass
lines. emits fluorescent orange light in
Many of our old theories about amounts proportional to the expo-
teeth have had to be changed re- sure the glass has taken in. Thus
cently as new evidence has come to the proper medical treatment can
light. Tooth enamel was long be prescribed.
thought to be dead tissue, for in- The dosimeter is noteworthy for
stance. Now it is known that this the range of radiation it can meas-
substance contains several different ure : from doses as small as 10
kinds of living matter. Roentgens, which is well, below the
Dr. Sognnaes also recommends danger limit, up to several thou-
frequent brushing of the teeth, even sand Roentgens.
though it is impossible to keep them
perfectly clean-a person always How Old Are Your Arteries?
has some micro-organisms and food
debris in his mouth. "The most that
A NofINTERESTING application
the radioactive tracer prin-
can be said," he adds unhappily, ciple of medicine is now in use to
"is that if we did not clean our warn patients of possible arterio-
teeth they would be worse than they sclerosis, heart attacks and apoplec-
are." tic strokes. The test involves the use
How long has it been since you've of a small amount of· radioactive
seen your dentist? sodium injected into a vein in the
arm. A Geiger counter is then
A-Bomb Precaution placed over the subject's chest to
measure the radioactivity as the
Bystrikes-if
THE TIME the next war
it does-military per- substance passes through the blood-
sonnel and perhaps civilians may be stream in that area. The time is
equipped with small, easily worn checked when the level of radio-
devices that will accurately record activity drops to a. specific point,
the amount ofradiatioR to which and this shows the rate of blood
120 SCIENCE BRIEFS
flow through strategic blood vessels. and valueless. Hundreds of inde-
The critical level is reached in pendent prospectors are using the
healthy 20-year old men in 20 sec- maps, which have been concen-
onds. The time is doubled at 40 trated so far on the Colorado pla-
years and tripled at 60. Patients suf- teau and parts of South Dakota,
fering from arteriosclerosis will New Mexico and Western Pennsyl-
show the results normally expected vania, in the hope of striking it rich
of an older person. through the high prices and bonuses
The test, which takes only about the AEC pays for uranium ore.
35 minutes in all, was devised by
Dr. Enrique Strajman, a Brazilian Number, Please?
scientist working at the Donner
Laboratory of the University of THE DAY when you can pick up
your telephone and dial a num-
California.
ber anywhere on the continent is
Up-To-Date Prospecting being hastened by the Bell Tele-
phone System. A big step in the
SCINTILLATION detectors-
supersensitive successors to Gei-
plan was taken recently in Pitts-
burgh where devices known as card
ger .counters-are being used by translators were placed in regular
government and private industry service.
to prospect for uranium by :o.ir. Al- Card translators determine
though the method can't pinpoint where dialed calls should go and
the locations of uranium deposits route them there as directly and
exactly; both the Atomic Energy speedily as possible. If one path is
Commission and the Interior De- busy, the machines will select the
partment are having considerable next best, making decisions in split
success in finding clues to potential seconds.
deposits this way. The card translator uses boxes
The Interior Department uses containing 1,000 metal routing
instrument-equipped DC-3's, while cards apiece-each card about five
the AEC flies in Piper Cubs at lower by lOY2 inches. The cards have
altitudes. Reactions of the detec- identifying tabs so that one will
tors in each case are marked on pa-
drop from the stack for any particu-
per tape, synchronized with 35-mm
cameras that simultaneously map lar code that is dialed. Beams of
the areas being explored. light then pass through openings in
The aerial maps are posted as or tabs on the card, falling on
they are completed, with the sites of phototransistors which transmit the
potential deposits clearly marked. necessary signals to the rest of the
Ground prospectors must take over equipment.·
from there, since the signs of radio- So you'll soon be able to call
active deposits on the maps don't Aunt Minnie, who lives aU the way
distinguish between those that are across the country, as easily as the
workable and those that are thin neighbors across the street!