Love Language
Love Language
Five Love Languages Test
By Dr. Gary Chapman
Read each pair of statements and circle the one that best describes you.
1. A. I like to receive notes of affirmation from you.
E. I like it when you hug me.
2. B. I like to spend one‐on‐one time with you.
D. I feel loved when you give me practical help.
3. C. I like it when you give me gifts.
B. I like taking long walks with you.
4. D. I feel loved when you do things to help me.
E. I feel loved when you hug or touch me.
7. A. I feel loved when you acknowledge me.
C. Visible symbols of love (gifts) are very important to me.
8. E. I like to sit close to you.
A. I like it when you tell me that I am attractive.
9. B. I like to spend time with you.
C. I like to receive little gifts from you.
10. D. I know you love me when you help me.
A. Your words of acceptance are important to me.
11. B. I like to be together when we do things.
A. I like the kind words you say to me.
12. E. I feel whole when we hug.
D. What you do affects me more than what you say.
14. E. I feel closer to you when you touch me.
B. I feel close when we are talking or doing something together.
15. A. I like you to compliment my achievements.
D. I know you love me when you do things for me that you don’t enjoy doing. TURN OVER
16. E. I like for you to touch me when you walk by.
B. I like when you listen to me sympathetically.
17. C. I really enjoy receiving gifts from you.
D. I feel loved when you help me with my home projects.
18. A. I like when you compliment my appearance.
B. I feel loved when you take the time to understand my feelings.
19. E. I feel secure when you are touching me.
D. Your acts of service make me feel loved.
20. D. I appreciate the many things you do for me.
C. I like receiving gifts that you make.
21. B. I really enjoy the feeling I get when you give me your undivided attention.
D. I really enjoy the feeling I get when you do some act of service for me.
22. C. I feel loved when you celebrate my birthday with a gift.
A. I feel loved when you celebrate my birthday with meaningful words (written or spoken.)
23. D. I feel loved when you help me out with my chores.
C. I know you are thinking of me when you give me a gift.
24. C. I appreciate it when you remember special days with a gift.
B. I appreciate it when you listen patiently and don’t interrupt me.
25. B. I enjoy extended trips with you.
D. I like to know that you are concerned enough to help me with my daily task.
26. E. Kissing me unexpectedly makes me feel loved.
C. Giving me a gift for no occasion makes me feel loved.
27. A. I like to be told that you appreciate me.
B. I like for you to look at me when we are talking.
28. C. Your gifts are always special to me.
E. I feel loved when you kiss me.
29. A. I feel loved when you tell me how much you appreciate me.
D. I feel loved when you enthusiastically do a task I have requested.
30. E. I need to be hugged by you every day.
A. I need your words of affirmation daily.
Add Total Number of Answers Here:
A. ____ Words of Affirmation B. ____ Quality Time C. ____Receiving Gifts D. ____ Acts of Service E. ____Physical Touch
How to Engage Your Happiness (and Stress) Hormones for Maximum Health and Resiliency
HORMONE DOPAMINE (H) ENDORPHINS (H) CORTISOL (S) OXYTOCIN (H) SERATONIN (H)
“STRESSED MESS” “OVERLY SENSITIVE” “WHO CARES?” “LONLINESS” “DARK CLOUD”
WHAT IT Creates satisfaction from Mood and pain regulator, Controls capacity for Soothes and restores Happiness booster;
DOES achievement; motivates; blocks all kinds of pain, handling stress; regulates self-regulation after emotional processing
regulates body functions; reduces stress and anxiety, blood sugar, inflammation, stress response;
enables you to communicate help you feel joy, and metabolism and memory influences empathy,
and control movement general well-being generosity and orgasm
HOW IT Pleasure from setting and Natural pain reliever; work Fight, Flight or Freeze Specific, wanted touch Regulates mood and
WORKS achieving goals on opiate receptors in response; finds stress with a safe, special digestion; made in the
brain, minimizes pain; equilibrium; sets stress person gastrointestinal tract;
maximizes pleasure response “thermostat” decreases appetite
WHERE
MADE Midbrain and Hypothalamus Pituitary Gland (brain) Adrenal Gland (kidneys) Hypothalamus (brain) Gastrointestinal tract
HOW TO Eat well; Setting and meeting Sniff lavender or vanilla; Eat well; sleep well; do 10 seconds of touch; Positive thinking;
DO IT goals; Meaningful actions; Intense exercise (especially artwork; laugh with loved sunlight; caring for mindfulness; eating well;
light frequent exercise; sleep in a group); have sex; ones; spend time in nature; pets; yoga; socializing sunlight; eat protein with
well; listen to music laugh; eat dark chocolate; listen to music tryptophan
listen to music
HEALTH Apathy, Depression, Restless Cry very easily; Weight gain, acne, thinning Addiction, Aggression, Chronic, persistent
PROBLEMS Leg Syndrome, hypersensitive to skin, flushed face, easy Social Anxiety, fatigue; Depression; Low
WITHOUT Procrastination, emotional or physical pain; bruising, slowed healing, Depression, Memory self-esteem; Loss of
IT Oversleeping, not feeling crave comfort food and muscle weakness, severe loss, intense loneliness interest in sexual
pleasure from daily activities, drugs; depression, anxiety, fatigue, irritability, in any setting, activities; Obsessive-
craving sugary and fatty moodiness, aches and difficulty concentrating, Fibromyalgia Compulsive disorder
foods, sodas, alcohol, pains, addiction, trouble high blood pressure,
inability to lose weight sleeping; impulsiveness headache
LANGAUGE Acts of Service Receiving Gifts Time Spent Together Physical Touch Words of Affirmation
OF LOVE
EXAMPLE: Let me make you a burrito! Wow! You made me a Let’s eat this burrito Let’s cuddle and I’ll You make delicious
BURRITO burrito! together! wrap you in my blanket burritos!
like a burrito!
© Nick Lawrence: Tools for Life 2019 (H) = Happiness Hormone, (S) = Stress Hormone Neurochemical: substance w/information that moves between neurotransmitters
Neurotransmitter: a substance that causes the transfer of the an impulse/information from one nerve or muscle fiber to another
Steroid hormone: made in Adrenal gland, testes and ovaries, from cholesterol, targets organs to control physiological functions
Dopamine Oxytocin
Endorphins Serotonin
Happiness Hormone Quiz by Nick Lawrence, MA
You will need 5 colored markers or pens, one of them black. Do not use the black one until the
very last activity (this means wait for instruction). Circle the number next to the questions
where you answer “yes.” Add up and transfer the point values below for your score.
Dopamine:
(3) Do you often feel depressed?
(3) Do you often feel bored?
(3) Are you a thrill seeker or a risk taker?
(3) Are you easily chilled or have cold hands or feet?
(3) Do you feel the need to get more alert by consuming a lot of coffee or other “uppers” like
sugar, diet soda or other substances?
(2) Do you tend to put on weight too easily?
(2) Are you low on physical or mental energy?
(2) Do you feel tired frequently even if you slept well?
(2) Do you have to push yourself to exercise?
(2) Do you notice an inability to feel pleasure?
(2) Is your drive/enthusiasm for life on the low side?
(2) Do you have difficulty focusing or concentrating?
Add up your score and place it here: ___; color in your score on the graph
Endorphins:
(3) Do you cry easily?
(3) Do you feel you are overly sensitive compared to others?
(3) Do you experience frequent emotional pain?
(3) Are old emotional injuries stimulated easily?
(3) Do you have frequent physical pain that is not from a specific injury?
(3) Do you frequently crave mood altering substances like alcohol or drugs?
(2) Have you lost interest in sex or do you crave it frequently?
(2) Do you struggle with anxiety?
(2) Have you had long-term stress?
(2) Have you lost experiencing pleasure from things you once enjoyed very much?
(2) Do you feel dread or a sense of “why bother?” frequently?
(2) Do you engage in risky behaviors?
Add up your score and place it here: ___; color in your score on the graph
Oxytocin
(3) Do you feel stressed frequently?
(3) Do you feel tired frequently even when you slept well?
(3) Do you feel disconnected from your relationships?
(3) Do you feel disconnected from yourself?
(3) Do you prefer to stay home than socialize?
(3) Do you walk by people you and don’t say hi because you don’t want to interact?
(2) Are you missing the warmth of love and connection?
(2) Do you notice you haven’t laughed in a while?
(2) Do you notice you have lost your playfulness?
(2) Do you hold onto anger?
(2) Do you crave alcohol and or drugs every afternoon or evening?
(2) Do you feel like you are all “gived” out?
Add up your score and place it here: ___; color in your score on the graph
Serotonin
(3) Do you have a tendency to be negative?
(3) Do you have dark, pessimistic thoughts?
(3) Are you often worried or anxious?
(3) Do you have feelings of low self-esteem?
(3) Do you easily feel self-critical?
(3) Do you often feel guilty?
(2) Do you use easy-to-win computer games to relax?
(2) Are you a work addict?
(2) Are you apt to be irritable, edgy or angry?
(2) Are you a night owl finding it difficult to sleep?
(2) Do you wake up in the night, have restless sleep, or wake up too early in the morning?
(2) Do you routinely crave sweet or starchy snacks in the afternoon or evenings?
Add up your score and place it here: ___; color in your score on the graph
For Cortisol, there is only a single point value. Add up the number of responses you circled and
place your score here _____. Go to zero on the chart and plot your score in each direction.
Wait for Nick to do this one!
The Five Love Languages (Children’s) Profile Quiz
1. I like to receive notes of appreciation. A
I like to be hugged. E
2. I like to spend one‐on‐one time with people who are special to me. B
I feel appreciated when someone gives me practical help. D
5. I feel appreciated when someone I care about puts his or her arm around me. E
I feel appreciated when I receive a gift from a teacher. C
12. What someone DOES affects me more than what s/he says. D
Hugs make me feel connected and valued. E
14. I feel close to someone when we are talking or doing something together. B
I feel closer to teachers when they stand closer to me when they address me. E
20. I appreciate the many things that special people do for me. D
I like receiving gifts that people make especially for me. C
21. I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone gives me undivided attention. B
I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone helps me with a task. D
22. I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with a special gift. C
I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with meaningful words. A
24. I appreciate it when someone listens patiently and doesn’t interrupt me. B
I appreciate it when someone remembers special days with a gift. C
25. I like knowing loved ones are concerned enough to help with my daily tasks. D
I enjoy extended trips with someone who is special to me. B
26. I enjoy when my teacher gives me a high‐five or pat on the back in the hallway. E
Receiving a gift for no special reason excites me. C
28. Mini candy bars given by my teacher are always special to me. C
I feel good when my teacher stands near me when greeting me. E
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