SBAHLE : THE CHOSEN ONE

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Chapter 1

I knew this day would come but never

thought it will be this soon and even worse to
happen like this I struggle with my feminine side
so much that the man who calls himself my father
feels the need to change me Control or try and
make me what he thinks is the right daughter So
what if I'm a girl but I act like a guy What's wrong
with that I grew up with boys and frankly i liked
the way i turned out to be am I comfortable with
who I am? fuck yes and I don't see nothing bloody
wrong with me my perception about life is that
Women are not required to be dainty wilting
flowers and Men are not required to be Herculean
pillars of strength Frankly I don’t even care what
you mean by “you act like a guy”. To me that
context it's just irrelevant
Throughout my life I have constantly set goals
for myself both in the long- and short-term Plans
of being successful Independent to enjoy the finer
things in life and mostly to run away from home
Free from my name my blood and my status .
yep plans are great because they helped me
make decisions about what to do or not do in

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order to help me achieve my goals but oh well
Like any plan though unexpected changes can
occur that either help or hinder your life goal
achievement … I looked at the two people that
call themselves my parents as they talk and
making me understand the worst decisions they
just took for my life " my life "
I look down and bit my lower lip suppressive
the anger I'm feeling right now i wanted to look
up but that will be a huge sign of disrespect in my
father's eyes I was perplexed for moment there i
had them talking but my thought were to loud to
hear a dahm thing
" please don't cry ... Please don't cry " I keep
telling my already shaking body the lump on my
trough my eyes burning and stinging by the tears
that want to escape I did not believe that my
parents are considering selling me to a another
family in order for them to survive and keep there
standards in the community funny enough on
how they sold most of there cows in order for my
two brother to go to varsity and when I'm about
to finish school no cows were sold for me to
continue my studies in university but my father
has been doing lot of negotiating with other royal

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house in order for my father to get his cows back .
Yet now he seat in his throne and he decided
to tell me that he is so proud of a young women I
turned out to be yah right as if I should believe
that the man can not stand my guts from the way
I dress the way I talk the way i carry my self he
finds that I'm an embarrassment to the royal
family tainting his image he said the hell I care its
my life at the end of the day
we coexist in the same house because of this
blood that runs inside of me that makes me the
Golden child i try my level best to avoid him the
sad truth is that i hate him too.
i understand that right now he want to get
under my skin He want me to feel mad he want
me to lash out about this matter . yes I'm very
opinionated person my mouth is power not only
my brains work over time in processing situation
but when I speak I make sure my view point in
head loud and clear but in this household a
women voice is silenced ... I was still confused
about all of what he saying to me but in this
household a women voice is silenced ... I was still
confused about all of what he saying to me is it
happening now or is he telling me that I must

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prepare my self for this ?
him: I know your Education means a lot to
your mother.... " wait what ? I smiled as I felt a
tingle of excited worming my bleeding heart is he
about to say what I think he is about to say ? Has
he reconsidered sending me to university?
" please lord let him say it please " I crossed
my fingers and held my breath
he continued to give me praise that he is glad
that I can cook and clean and handle all
household chores ... Yayay what ever get to the
point I said inside
I did not know what he was going with this
but I guess its another way he was showing his
appreciation off all the work I have done as girl
child in this house i may have been an arrogant
brat in his eyes who acts like a boy but i know the
power of respect i chose to be civil around him
and played buy the rules I hope my plan worked
in manipulating and blind sighting him in order to
get what I want " ooh God let it be"
My cheeks became wet my throat so dry I felt
it crack I couldn't believe my ears when he said
"Ungasiphoxi emzini yezwa your in-law
agreed to further your studies "

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 I looked up with my eyes red no sound in my
mouth that I'm crying but tears falling down the
pain came back I saw the devil in his eyes
I knew that being summoned to come home
was either going to make me or break me I'm only
17th never had a boyfriend was locked up in
boarding school that was more like a maximum
prison for girls no social network no TV no social
life just books and church and when I come back
home I'm told that I will be sold to a man !. They
don't even wait till I finish writing my matric
exams that are in two months time and they
dropped this bomb on me !!! .
I sniffed the pain was to much I'm strong yes
but this was way to big for my shoulders I never
expected what he said next I felt my soul leaving
my body for few minutes and my trout was
getting dry i could not breath and I felt like
screaming so loud that my lungs bust out if I’m
not mistaken this were his exact words
“ Sibahle we have accepted the Mnguni cows
for your hand in marriage ... "
He shifted in his seat as my eyes looked
directly in his eyes ...
Me : ma !.... Why ? " It was a direct question

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then pleading with her
I looked at my mother she was just looking
like a zombie looking in to space I wish she could
say something or maybe try and wake me up from
this awful dream that I was in but why ? why
would they throw me out to the dogs like that ...
I'm turning 18 next month and I'm already
engaged to be married ...worst part it's an
arranged marriage ??? ... The waterfall gushed
down I stood up held my mouth took a last look at
him wiped my face with the back of my hand
Me : He who is silent and bows his head dies
every time he does so. He who speaks aloud and
walks with his head held high dies only once. – Is
there anything else baba ? "
My stare did not leave his eyes he swallows
hard is that sweat drops on his forehead the pig
had fear written all over him they called it
punishment to send me to the harshest school
ever but they in fact in powdered me I Never let
anyone tell me who i am what I must do I'm
Princess Sibahle Bhengu and
Keeping my head up is a matter of honor and
pride to me I know who I am and i will defend
myself and walk my own path no matter which

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routes others might force me on I know that the
world has respect for confident people.
Him : no you may be excused " he said softly
I turned away with my heart beating
abnormally fast I stopped as I heard my mom soft
voice
Her :"Sibahle Bhengu .. You are the chosen
Queen never forget that "
I breath out loud as I rushed to my room to
take off this hideous dress jumped into my jeans
and vest put my cap on and walked out I had to
think draw up a new plan all know is Good and
evil darkness and light and failure and success are
the dualities that make life so interesting and
spicy. After dark there is nowhere else to go than
straight towards the light. After failure there is
nowhere to go but up.
I’m Princes Sibahle Bhengu …. Walk with me
on my pursuit of Happiness

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Chapter 2

Sibahle ...
It's been few days after the negations if I was
willing happy bride to be I would have said that
everything went well and it was success but hell
NO I’m not one thing I picked up about my so cold
in-laws is that they are rich .. too rich in fact there
cars the way they dressed there cologne and I
don’t want to talk about their accent it like they
grew up overseas or something … I was getting
petrified just by sitting in front of them I’m
definitely not fit in in that family the strange part
is that we all know that Lobolo negotiations is
black people thing but in my negotiation I had a
white guy representing my husband “ iyoooh
thatha Sibahle “ that got me laughing and made
me forget the awkward moment I was in jotting to
that day it made me realise that this shit is real
I’m officially somebody wife I looked down and
played with my fingers I may be brave and
outspoken but deep down I’m terrified little girl I

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walked around the yard just thinking about how
my life would have been like if I was not royalty I
suddenly had a rush back to memory lane
“ keep your eyes on the clay pot my child let it
move in you hand feel the rhythm feel the
Ceramics is the art to scalp you must close your
eyes and sing. … art is love art is a song art is
feeling of peace“ he said walking pass me after
brushing my hair back with his hands I smiled
hummed a song the loud band breaking of glasses
and things falling down alarmed me made me
jump as I rushed to the other room and found my
father laying down I wasn’t with my father when
he died yes we might have been in the same place
but he fell and died in another room . I wasn’t
there to observe what happened to see exactly
how he fell or what object his head hit on the way
down his last words he said to me ring in my ear I
then forgot how to breathe I felt like was being
pulled underwater I remember as it was yesterday
when my mother cried for help when she
struggled to lift a 12-year-old chubby girl up
screaming and kicking on top her fathers dead
body I felt like Someone has put a mask over my
face I taste the sweetness of the oxygen like

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tasting dry soil I felt my blood heating up i
suddenly have a 107-degree fever my body is
getting hot and cold at the same time
“ Bahle breath my baby “ I felt her hands on my
shoulder she then turned me around and gave me
a tight hug I could not help the tears that washed
over my cheeks
" its going to be OK Bby " she said brushing my
back I have been gone for 6 years and coming
back home and looking at my father art gallery
that my mother has turned into a green room
made me relive that day when I last saw my
father alive .
Me : “ it hurts so much maka’ Sbahle “
Her : “ I know baby I know … “ she wiped the tears
from my face I faked a smile and as she held my
hand and we walk around the yard she held my
hand tighter then normal ever since they dropped
the bomb on me about me being someone’s
arranged wife she has been acting very strange
she scared she does not want to let go of me she
feel like I’m the only thing that reminds her of my
father . yes I might have kept her up all night last
night with nightmares that still tormenting me
when I’m in this place it happened 6 years ago but

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I still relive it as if its happening today.
Her : his in a better place my baby and his looking
down on us "
I frown and pulled my hand away from her
Me : njani ma ? "
Her :Sbahle please mntanami "
I looked at her this is one thing I have told and
taught myself that I will never be like my mother
she is too soft and fragile to me that just being
weak . I huffed and looked away took a stone I
threw it in the air out of frustration she sigh.
Her : I'm glad you home " I rolled my eyes because
im not I hate being here and surrounded by
memories that I’m trying to suppress
Me : stop patronising me ma "
Her : kodwa... "
Me : I don't want to hear it ma! " I screamed a bit
this was my biggest problem my temper
Have you ever encountered someone who wears
their anger on their sleeve? Or someone who gets
mad too quickly or easily? That me I'm hot
headed as I grew up it became worse mostly it's
enger that I curry within Anger is a more powerful
emotion than sadness through the lens of the
hotheads Hence this is why i rather speak loudly

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than cry when angered. I have perceive crying as
exposing one's vulnerability or weakness
Unfortunately this has caused more harm than
good to my mother life.
Me : “ I’m only 17 mom why you allowing this
man to sell like I’m an item “
Mom: I'm sorry I did not know it will happen so
soon … but its our way of life my child if you of
royal blood you do not marry for love but to build
a kingdom a legacy and strengthen the two royal
blood “
I looked at her and wondered if this woman really
loves me because ever since he married this man
she became mute
Her : i know i have not been the greatest parent
ever but looking at the young women you turned
out to be I’m so proud of you right ? “
She said that looking straight into my eyes I could
not help but to see that the light in her eyes was
stolen by the sadness in her heart
I could not help but to see that the light in her
eyes was stolen by the sadness in her heart
it all happened 6 years ago when I lost my hero
and she lost the love of her life we walk around
like zombies that hunger for one thing to be loved

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and to be happy they say Happiness is an
addiction and if you have experienced it then you
are hooked Happiness is an addiction because our
monkey mind convinces us that we are not okay if
we don’t get our fix of it .. My sadness turned me
to be This super impulsive and irrational person
yes when looking at my life I have figured that Our
attempts to be happy are not the problem The
problem is that we are not aware of a workable
alternative to happiness.
Mom : “ you are a women now and I know you
can be… in fact you are stronger than I will ever
be No one knows what you have been through or
what your pretty little eyes have seen but I can
reassure you whatever you have conquered it
shines through your mind...courage and an ability
to stand up for yourself "
She embrace me with a hug it moments like this
that make me feel at peace funny how it never
last . the sound of the car engine broke the
slightest piece of happiness in my life.
“Sibahle … I'm the only man in this house the last
time i checked hambo khumula lowomhlola
owuqokile !!" He road making my mother flinch I
felt anger raging inside of me I looked at the man

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that took away the only thing that makes a house
to“ a home “ a family “ to warm fuzzy feeling “ he
made it to a cold cave with no life
Mom : “ hurry up Sbahle … don’t make your
father angry “
I looked at my mother with frowned eyebrows
scrambling like a han about to lay an egg what
power does this man have over her ?
Me : “ he will never be my Father ... The sooner
you get that in your head the better !! " she held
her mouth
Him : uthin?!!! "
Mom pleaded with me not to challenge him the
only thing I struggle to control is my temper and
right now I wanted to scream brake something or
kill someone …
Mom : come Sisi let me help you to change " my
mom pulled my hand but her husband called her I
still do not see why wearing Pants In my fathers
house is an issue I cliqued my tongue and walked
to the house and made my way to the kitchen our
house keeper was cooking she smiled at me but I
was not in that mood the happy girl in me was
taken the day I saw my father’s lifeless body the
smile in me was taken when my mother was

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forced to marry my father's younger brother You
may say that I’m royalty and this was my destiny
my mother was Queen and she was never going
to rule the kingdom alone she needed the head of
the family a leader and by culture it done for the
good of the family for the people… for the royal
house . All that Gilts you see in this royal house is
not Gold trust me I'm princess by blood nothing
special about me my uncle is an abusive power
hungry malicious monster … he envied my father
he wanted my father inheritance his wife his life
and his family. Death made him get it all I then
became his golden egg that will make him more
powerful and wealthy no wonder I was sold to the
highest bidder and it doesn’t help that I took my
mother beauty I looked at myself in the mirror
and ran hands on my thick black long hair
“ Nkosazana your father is calling you “ one of the
help said I sign and put on my dress my long dress
ugly dress I dragged my feet to the throne room
and saw my mother sited on the grass mat next to
the chair where he set with his pot bally sticking
out I felt his smirk burning in my head as I sat
down on the center of the room on the grass mat
I hate coming to this room because I know

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whatever he's going to say is going to piss me off
even more damn I hate this man
“ thank you Princess for gracing us with your
presence “ that sounded so sarcastic I cringed to
him calling me Princess
“ chin up and smile sunshine soon this attitude of
yours will be tamed when I give your hand away
to your husband “
He laughed making my blood boil in the process I
did not dare answer him I looked at my mother
she was just looking down I wanted to jump up to
him and beat him up but I knew better because
mom pays for my arrogance When I talk back at
him when I disrespect him my mother will pay the
price he never lays a hand on his brother children
but my mother will be kicked punched and
slapped for my wrong doing... I suddenly I felt my
body sinking my heart was beating on my trough
he was busy talking
Him : yazi funny thing is I don't know how or
when they found out about your existence but
they have paid a fortune for you " so since the
negotiations are over your mother here has asked
me that we do memulo for you “
I looked at him oh God no I can not parade half

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naked in front people I popped my eyes
Me : “ I got exams to write “ I’m not doing this hell
no!
Him : well my child I was not asking you I’m telling
you umemulo will be conducted after your exams
so go pack so that the driver will take you back to
school to prep for exams “ I looked at him with so
much hatred written all over me
Me : “ I hope you study hard and pass your exams
with distinction your in-laws are very educated
and speak different English don’t think about
embarrass me… uyezwa !!!! “
.

Chapter 3

Sli***
I pictured my reunion with Trey to be the best
unforgettable day of my life in my head I picture
slow motion runs to each other arms kissing and
locking each in his bedroom making love and
rekindling our love he will tell me he loves me and
will pick up from where we left off will raise our
kid together and start a family.

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Yeh right dream on Slindile Fairy-tale never
happens for people like me I was on his study and
he was just shouting and pointing fingers at me
calling me all sort of names for keeping the
existence of his baby from him
Him : you robbed me three years of my daughters
life ...three years slindile !!!! what were you
thinking??? "
Me : I'm sorry "
Him : fuck saying that you Sorry !!!"
Me : “ I tried so many times to call you “
Him : “ and you never talk… were you even going
to tell me about my baby if you grandfather did
not drag you here ? “
Me : “ of cause I was going to tell you … “
He did the mocking laugh and that alone made
the hair at the back of my neck stand who's this
man in front of me he is not the boy I fell in love
with he is now dominant with deep bold voice
that will make any crowd stop talking he has this
aura of commanding respect without saying
nothing I felt very afraid
it was not helping that I felt like an ant in front of
this big beast
Him : why ?" he said almost as whisper he may be

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mad at me but when our eyes lock it ignite that
spark we once had I breath out loud and narrated
a story about how I found out I was pregnant and
how I tried to call him but could not find the right
words to say
Him : “ Sli you know for a fact that I have no
family … and you keep the only link that I have to
my blood line ? “
Me : “ Trey you had school … I could not just drop
a baby in your lap I had to consider all expect
before I showed up with … “
Him : “ Damit Sli !!… fuck that she is my child I
would have done anything for her … if I remember
it correctly I was the one that fucked you so hard
and you left with my seed that you were trying
keep away from me … “
Me : “ im so sorry “ I tried telling him about this
destiny thing I was forced to do his temper went
from zero to hundred I was a crying mess did he
care at all no but he roughly shook me and made
me look on his eyes
Him : " you know first hand how I feel about you
and you turn around and hurt me like this? I
wish I could give you my pain just for one
moment. Not to hurt you but so that you could

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finally understand how much you hurt me ....you
found out about me and who I am but still chose
to keep this secrete "
Me : Trey please believe me I had no control of
this I have seen and done things that are
unexplainable to the naked eye for us to meet it
was destiny for us to part it was for us to find our
own path sad part is that I was carrying your seed
and the forces of life or universe made us drift my
destiny and purpose was not fulfilled when I gave
birth even queen mother saw this and told me as
well when I came here for a women’s conference
"_ he crunched down holding his mouth he does
this a lot this days I guess his legs struggle to hold
him up
Him : “ ooh my God it was you .. “
I swallowed and walked close to him I told him
about the airport incident and he just held his
chest
Me : “ I never stopped looking for you even hired
a private investigator till I almost lost Nola when
she told me who you are and where you are I had
to listen to divinity … “
Him :... Koko knew about my baby ?"
I just nodded he attempted to walk out but i held

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his arm
Me : " please Trey not like this ... It was not by
choose that we kept this from you there were
other forces involves you are a man who believe
in such things why you finding it hard to believe
what I'm saying to you ...please this situation hurt
me more then as it hurting you right now that
why I decided to tell Zethelo about you showed
her your pictures make her understand that one
day you will reunite with her ... She's gifted child
Trey she is her father's daughter "
He looked at me with his sparkling eyes oh God
that look ...I wish I could say that in your eyes I
see the light of passion; I can hear the songs of
your heart for me. I cannot live without you
because you belong to me. And I will never let you
down because I love you so much. I will hold you
tight because I’ll always love you no matter what.
Him : days i could handle but night were the
worse I try to not to miss you I try to let go but in
the end you're always on my mind Sometimes I
just wish you were here so I could tell you how
much I need you and how hard every day has
been without you but you were to much of
coward to stay ... To keep in touch to allow the

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fire to continue to burn you walk away from me
sli..."
Me : I had to ... But I never stop loving you Trey
please believe me I am giving you my words that I
will never betray you for any reason. I am so much
in love with that I can no longer think straight.....i
know what i did was wrong but it was not my
intension to hurt you … “ I tried to walk close to
him but he stopped me
Me : " Please don't ..I don't want to hear it. You
hurt me more than I deserve how can you be so
cruel? I love you more than you deserve( he shook
his head ) why am I such a fool? "
his look changed he became angry his eyes gave
me shivers I felt my heart beating on the center of
my chest he than looked at my hand that was still
holding him
Him : I need to think ... Let go of me "
Me : but Trey " .The brittle bones beneath my
chest cracked piercing my heart I looked at the
man before me It was him who breathed new life
into my lungs and it was him who would later
destroy the life he had given " the waterfall
gushed down
Him : hayi Silindile just shut it ... No amount of

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sorry will undo what you did … I just need to
breath .. "
he clicked his tongue and walked out he was mad
at me I could hold it any longer so I just let it all
out
oh lord what have I done Nola found me crying on
the corner of room with my head buried on my
knees
Her : come love ..."
Me ; he hates me "
Her : his hurt give him time come sweet heart ..." I
wiped my face and fixing my dress we walked to
one of the guest bedrooms I was just walking
Zombie Nola handed me pills and made me sleep
after telling me that Trey took Zee and drove off I
woke up it was the following morning with a
banging headache I took long shower after
dressing up I just set on my bed and recalled
yesterdays event I wanted to leave this place but
was to afraid ... I could not look Trey in the eye
there was a nock on the door and i held my
breath and before I could say come in Veli walk in
she ran to me and hugged me
Veli : I knew it ... I just didn't know how to ask you
about you and Ngonyama but I knew that Zee was

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Mnguni I felt it when she touched me or when she
told me about her dreams "
I just smiled with tears on my eyes
Her : ncoo sli please don't cry
Me : I'm sorry I lied to you "
Her : you had your reasons sli I fully understand ...
How are you ? "
I wiped my teas as she held my hand
Me : I feel so lost ... Hurt and I don't know how to
speak to Trey he is so mad and the things he said
to me ... Oh veli he hates me "
She shook her head
Her : all the years I've know Ngonyama he has
shown me nothing but kindness he is a good man
he may be hurt but he will come around... "
I just nodded Nola walk with Zee my smile keeper
she ran to me and I hugged her so tight
" morning onion " I laughed with tears in my eyes I
felt her tiny hands wiping my teas
Her : why you crying mom are you happy to see
daddy too? " I just nodded
She just hugged me and told me about her
evening with her father that alone wormed my
heart I had no doubt that Trey will be a good
father it only been one day with his daughter but

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already Zee is bragging they must have had fun
because after telling about her night she ran off
leaving me with a wide smile on my face
Nola : I have never seen her this happy oh my "
I felt a slight guilt that I was the reason why Zee is
only founding out about his dad now I just looked
down
Nola : how you holding up "
Like a person who's watching there heart slowly
butchered I didn't have it in me to respond
Nola :well look on the bright side the worst is over
" i looked at her and frowned
I looked at
Nola smiled with her phone and punched the air
in excitement
Me: what ?"
Nola : your dress for the throne gala tonight is
ready ... Will go pick it up later "
Me : I don't think I can show face "
Nola : tough luck because the queen mother
wants you to join her for breakfast " she looked at
her wrist watch " and if we do not leave this room
will be late "
I pooped my eyes No
Veli smiled " I'll come with you. Trust me she’s the

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most worm hearted person I know " she hooked
her arm over mine
Her : why am I even telling you this because you
know her " she laughed as Nola hooked her arm
on my other free arm
Nola ; yap that's true so come on “
I faked a smiled stood up as we walk out I meet
up with Austin and Mzamo by the lobby
we greeted them
Austin : oh morning lady's morning sly " I just
shook my head and nudge Nola
Mzamo just nodded Trey walked in sweating he
was wearing basketball shorts ..mmm shorts
never looked good on any man like they do on
him he had no top on my eyes ran down from his
toned ebbs to the v- line on his short I'm staring
oh God he can see that I'm drivelling over him it
was not helping because Nola was mumbling '
mmm his sooooo hot "
Him : morning " I looked up our eyes locked and
he had this morning glow his JBL headphones
dangling on his neck
Me : hi "
“ daddy " Zee screamed braking the awkward
moment he picked her up and she giggle it was

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beautiful site to watch he walked pass me talking
with Zee in his arm oh how I wish he would just
hold me
.
.

Chapter 4

Sbahle
A month later ***
We were all shipped to boarding school because
to my Uncle we were considered busted child my
father had four kids two boys and two girls
Thandiwe 30 Nsika 25 ...Mlondi 21 and me my
birthday is coming up and they decided to do
memulo for me I'll be seeing my brother for the
1st time in 6 years I’m not sure about my older
sister the family he married to are too cultural
and ever since she married there she has not
visited home for years only saw her on my father
funeral she looked beautiful and even though her
husband is old she looked happy I should be
happy and looking forward to seeing my sibling

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but to me its bitter sweet moment as much as
leaving conditions at home got worse by the day
my big brothers left for school and never returned
back home They disowned them self from family
and leaving me and mom behind I had to grow up
very fast and i tried to protect our mother but
there so much a child could do till the busted
decided to send me to this prison I’m in I still play
the day in my head when my mother cried tried to
commit suicide when her in-laws ( my father side )
told her that its culture for a brother to marry his
late brother's wife I have never experienced
abused from my uncle all I know is that I see how
oppressed my mother's life is... She is abused
physically verbal And emotional
".don't worry about me my child I do what I have
to do for you to survive ...this too shall pass "
She will say with a bruised face and faith smile. as
much as my Uncle never laid a hand on me
I know that he hates me … and I could not shake
the feeling that he had a hand in my father dearth
What I knew was what the death certificate said:
cause of death: Subdural Hematoma due to (or as
a consequence of) traumatic closed head injury
The death certificate also said that it took my

29 | P a g e
father only a few minutes to die while that same
day he drank imported expensive whisky that his
brother sent to him …
" Sbahle come on stop doing this to yourself " that
my roommate if I could talk under water I will say
leave me alone she was telling me to open the
door and banging the bathroom door I sigh and
continued to hold my breath drowning myself on
my bathtub has been my only stress releasing
mechanism shit I miss my father my brothers I
miss home or what it used to be ever since I
returned back to school i have been feeling sick
not health wise but emotionally I was dying I have
anxiety fevers at night shivering thoughts through
the day sleeping with night mares my study
session web of emotion battles I will find myself
sinking and it does not help that I’m a person who
keeps to myself suddenly the world became to
noisy There is no question that this is the way I
will feel forever am I also subjected to leave and
walk In my mother's shoes as well ? will history
repeat itself through the lens of my arranged
marriage ? my temperature started to changing
my body heated up again there is no cure after
the fever moments I’m done convincing myself

30 | P a g e
that I'm going to be ok because the fever is my
world
" this too shall pass " my mother words ringed in
my ear ...I wish there was a nicer way to say this
but I don’t always want to be alive right now I
don’t actively want to kill myself I don’t have a
plan I don’t have check lists of warning signs of
suicide I have a life to enjoy and I’m curious about
the future but the fact remains I don’t always feel
strongly about being alive and sometimes on
particularly bad days I truly want to die. For me
the feeling of being under water of not breathing
…it like being carried over a waterfall — it is like
living in the ocean. Not as sea creatures do but i
wish to be one as water Some days are
unremarkable floating under clear skies and
smooth waters other days are tumultuous storms
and I feel like I don’t know how to survive but i'm
always one with the water my body and mind
becomes one with water its beautiful feeling to
stay afloat i eventually get the feeling that one
day inevitably there will be nowhere for me to go
but down. but I don’t want it to be soon For now I
can and i want to keep my head above water. But
i ask myself will I have control on other day is my

31 | P a g e
will to breath enough? I rose up from the water
and breath out loud nostrils burning banging head
chest hurting I gasped for air till my breathing
became normal
I stepped out wrapped a towel around my wet
body I unlock the bathroom door I found my
roommate seating on the floor resting her head
on the bathroom door she stood up
Her : Sbahle ?". I looked
" what's up with that look ?" She just hugged me I
pushed her off
" Zim yini manje "
She sigh and rolled her eyes I'm a non - hugger I
hate physical contact and trust me this has made
me very awkward to society
I have realise that when a person hate being
hugged the world can be a challenging place. You
never know when someone you’re meeting for a
quick coffee study Buddy will approach you arms
open wide coming in for an embrace i froze most
of the time with my options that just become
limited my mind will start flagging every expect of
this and my body cringe i can awkwardly dodge
the gesture by stick out my hand for a handshake
or submit to faking a sneeze or caught

32 | P a g e
Her : I'm worried about you"
Me : I'm good Zim'khithi "
Her : you not… you doing it again !"
Me : can you just stop ..."
Her : no Sbahle … Near-drowning is not healthy
and it will increase chances of brain damage "
Me : it helps me think "
Her : you over doing babe you holding your breath
far too long you’re unable to breathe underwater
for a significant period of time look how dilated
your eyes are ? “
Ooh good not this again I appreciate the consent
but it my life after all
Me : “ I know what i'm doing … stop bugging me I
pushed her aside
Her : you know that During near-drowning your
body is cut off from oxygen to the point where
major body systems can begin to shut down from
the lack of oxygen flow. "
Me : I know....Dr "
She breath out loud in frustration
" sbahle please talk to me or to someone you
carry to much weight ever since you came back I
don't recognise the person you are now "
Me :why you not in the dining hall ? "_

33 | P a g e
Her : " ooh yini wethu why solokhu dodge the
topic... You my best friend China and I will not
seat and watch you take your life !!"
Me : “ I’m ok babe yeva “
this friend of my here is loud we have been
roommates for 5 Years now since grade 8_she is
Xhosa and I'm Zulu she is locked up in this prison
like me her sentence is different from mine
though she in here for being too forward let's just
say she is a she dog never meet a 17 year old who
has lost count in the man she has slept with... She
fucks for fun and not for love on the other hand i
don’t even know how to kiss a guy but we get
along pretty fine one thing I love about her is that
she is a smart bitch ambitious and focus .
Me : are you getting me food or what ? "
Her : its not like you will eat it “
Me: just go Zim … “
I just looked at her and she dragged her big ass
out leaving me to finish lotioning my body I put on
my PJ and took my books as was about to study
Zim walked in
with our food I took meat and rostered potato
from my plate and left the rest for her she loves
food no doubt she will finish two plates

34 | P a g e
Her : so finally we writing our final paper
tomorrow “
Me : yah " I said with a law voice
Zim" ooh come on love....at least now you going
to varsity"
Me : and I wanted to skip the country or province
you forgetting that I'll be somebody's wife which
means I'm going to be stuck in his house God
knows doing what...who knows maybe he will be
demanding sex and baby’s from me honestly I feel
like dying "
Her : have you considered going for plan B... Kill
him on your wedding night take his money and
skip the country "
Me : " I'll go with plan A and just kill my stepfather
in his sleep " we looked at each other and we bust
out and laughed
.
.
weeks later ... to be continued

Chapter 5

35 | P a g e
Trey *** (Narrated )
It's been a whole month and Trey still could not
get over the fact that he has a child and she is a
spitting image of him the women he loves is the
one that made him a father he spend weeks with
Zee bonding and doing all things that a parent
wish to do with a child he realised that Fathers are
not born Men grow into fathers and fathering is a
very important stage in their development. Trey
took this serious he prayed for his daughter and
went an extra mile to protect her he asked the
lord to forgive him for all the wrongs he has done
over the years treating women badly a girl child
can change any man perspective on how he view
women worth he will never wish his own
daughter to go through what he did to the women
in his life asking God to forgive him was his only
hope that karma must not come knocking on his
door .
Trey took pride in playing the dad part in Zee life
as much as he hated that he never felt her kick
while she was still in her mothers womb never
heard her when she cried for the first time never
saw her when she Took her first step or heard her
first word she said it sadden him that he lost

36 | P a g e
Three years of her daughter's life worse part he is
still alive and would have taken responsibility of
his child.
That why he just wanted his days to revolve
around Zee he loved the name that Sli gave his
daughter she is definitely the fruit of his life
Zithelo Zemvelo he is still puzzled that he has
learned so much about taking care of child in a
short period time bath time nap times platy time
talk / dance and laugh time oh not forgetting to
watch cartoons with her he has learned about Zee
elegies what she likes to ware he still struggled to
her hair its big thick afro but very soft he likes to
play with it and the rich red colour makes her
even more beautiful he smiled thinking that The
nature of impending fatherhood is that you are
doing something that you’re unqualified to do and
then you become qualified while doing it.
Parting ways was the hardest part he had to do he
had school and final exams to write to get his
degree and run his company he now had purpose
in life ..
he was back in the UK finishing up his exams his
mind could not get destructed by anything now
he knew that he has someone who looks up to

37 | P a g e
him now and he was a proud father he took out
his phone and dialed Nola number
Her : hello "
Him : hi Nola ...may i please speak to Zithelo "
Nola rolled her eyes she was still mad at Trey for
not forgiving Sli she spend weeks crying over him
but the guy rather spend days with his daughter
taking Zee to Disneyland was wow! but somehow
a nail in the heart for sli since she was not asked
to tag along and when his family introduced Zee
to the encestores and changed her surname sli
died a million dearth the only person they
acknowledged in that royal house was Trey seed
and sli felt like a surrogate mother depression hit
her even more when Trey said that next year his
taking Zee to leave with him .. Nola started hating
the Mnguni's even more its true what they say
that people with power believes that things must
be done there way or the highway.
On the other hand Pam hates Sli and did not even
hide it in her eyes Sli was older and was not
suppose to get in sack with Trey in first place yet
alone curry a baby by him Nola blames herself
now for fighting and pestering Sli to tell Trey
about Zee everything just went sideways after the

38 | P a g e
truth was revealed Nola now understood why Sli
kept telling her that her relationship with Trey
was complicated age difference her being a
widow and now she a mother of his child ... Yes
she loves him but if the Media get hold of sli past
Trey’s image and hers will be tainted.
Nola : wow ! ...you not even going to ask me on
how I'm doing ?? "
Trey sigh this was hard he was never ready to
coparent he is not even experience on how to
juggle his life and being a single parent the family
loves his daughter but Sli on the other hand they
may pretend to like her but there red flags with
him dating or pursuing a relationship with her he
decided to place his feeling on hold for her as
hard as it is he just don't want to complicate
things. Besides he is soon to marry someone next
month he can't hurt sli like that she was once a
victims of cheating husband it's just too
complicated for him now.
" let the dust set and make the right decision "
Austin advised him and he doing just that now
trey : I'm sorry about that ... How are ..." she did
not allow him to finish
"_

39 | P a g e
Nola : "Zeee your dad is on the line !!!!!" she
screamed in Trey ear he just ran his hands on his
face
" daddy ... " zee giggled on the receiver that alone
melted his heart
" hay pumpkin ... How was your day " she giggle
and told him about her day Play mate what she
ate the cute cloths she has on she started going
on about some cartoons characters got trey
smiling from ear to ear
" when are you coming back daddy "
" soon pumpkin soon
" when are you coming back daddy "
" soon pumpkin soon "
" I love you daddy ... "
" I love you too "
Silence on both ends Trey looked at his phone and
it was still counting
Trey : I love you so much " that got zee giggling
again " bye daddy aunt says I must go bath
promise to read me bedtime story "
" its a date princes OK go bath will talk later " they
kissed on the phone
There was shuffling going on and Nola answered
Trey ; thank you please text me before she sleep "

40 | P a g e
Nola : I know Trey I will ... "
Him : thank you ... "
Her : Sli will be live on her page today '
Him: ooh "
Her : you should tune in "
Trey has never seen sli work she has had people
say she is changing lives but never had chance to
actually see it after saying goodbye to Nola he
pulled out his laptop and type in a link he was
shock by the numbers of followers she has
comments were mind blowing a notification
popped in sli was live he clicked on it and looked
at how Polish and good looking she was high waist
formal white slacks black bodysuit matching white
coat black stilettos always made her tall and she
looked gorgeous Trey found himself running his
hands on the screen and she watched Sli talking
and walking around the stage with mic he decide
to increase the volume when she took off her coat
and the crowd was standing up and clapping
.
.
Sli sermon****
" we have that negative thought that destroy our
courage … dreams and ambitions we so scared to

41 | P a g e
open that curtain of believing in yourself and
saying I can do it and I will … i'm not intimidated
by the fear of the unknown … and we end up
crawling to that dark corner of doubt we even go
down on our knees and pray and say ooh God
please give me strength .. please give courage to
apply for that management position … give me
heart to lead … give me an ability to work hard
and get that fat pay cheque … make me good
enough for him to see my worth and marry me
.....make me more pretty or handsome … I will die
poor what’s the use in fighting …
haybo Listen here one thing I have realized is that
it all start with you … You cannot believe in God
until you believe in yourself” Let me explain why i
say this after lots of contemplating this rings true
for me. ( she laughed and shook her head )
When I first read this quote I brushed it off.
Certainly that couldn’t be true and I didn’t want to
spend any more time thinking about it. However
as the day went on that statement followed me. It
showed up everywhere so I thought maybe I need
to take a closer look at it
Let’s unpack this starting right from the beginning.
In Genesis it tells us that we were created in the

42 | P a g e
image of God. God breathed life into us. His
breath flows inside of us. Therefore God is the
source of life from within. He is inside of you
around you — everywhere.
If this is the case when you reject yourself hate on
yourself or do even worse you are doing the same
to God because He is the source from within and
your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1
Corinthians 6:19). Everything you are holding
against yourself on a core level whether it is
through words or actions you are also holding
against God.
By questioning who we truly are we are
questioning who God is.... Maybe you believe you
were created by chance and if that were true that
would also mean you don’t have a unique
purpose. That would leave you struggling in life
not just physically but also emotionally and
spiritually — which again would lead you to not
truly believing in yourself. What is there to believe
in if we run around like zombies without a
purpose? We start to feel hopeless and a thought
sneaks in that indicates that surely there can’t be
a God if that is how I feel because it doesn’t feel
good.

43 | P a g e
When we don’t trust ourselves we also don’t trust
God. Our human self is restored through Christ
yet we tend to not want to accept it on a deep
spiritual level. From experience we tend to be
suspicious about everything that may be good.
Listen here If it sounds too good it probably is.
Many of us myself included merely acknowledge
the existence of God. But do we fully and whole-
heartedly experience faith? There is a difference
between knowledge and faith. …Faith means to
let go of what we think we can and should control
but we are afraid to let go because we would lose
ourselves and We can’t risk that What we become
familiar with we become comfortable with and
even when it is not in our best interest it feels
safe so we hold onto it. Trying to be in control of
our lives means we don’t trust Divine guidance I
know I have been there I have questioned my
existence my purpose...
As human beings we will never be perfect but
with this understanding it makes it easier to
accept and live our calling and purpose for a
greater good. When you believe in yourself in an
honoring way you are honoring what God has
created and therefore God himself. The less you

44 | P a g e
believe in yourself the more separated you are
spiritually from God.
With everything said my understanding is that the
statement of “You can not believe in God until
you believe in yourself” goes hand in hand with
“You can not believe in yourself until you believe
in God.” One builds on top of the other. "
end of sermon people were screaming some were
crying some shouting " amen " " we love you Sli"
"We receive " God bless you" everyone one was
on there feet the crowd Cheering as sli bowd and
placed her hand together as if she is praying and
said thank you she blew few kisses as she was
ushered to the back stage
In the UK
Trey mouth was on the floor shock … disbelief on
what he just saw… he knew and felt that sli was
ordained for greater things in life he felt that Sli
was not .just an ordinary women she was highly
favoured that why she was given a second chance
after her near death experience
Trey : fuck !" it came out as a whisper he then
started going through all the videos sli had posted
in her YouTube page
.

45 | P a g e
Chapter 6

Sbahle ***
I finished my exams and today was my last day in
this prison so here I am
getting out of prison after years inside. I collected
my things take off my school uniform one last
time and then a door opens and I'm expected to
step out. There must be joy in this moment
although joy tinged by fear and weighted in
expectations my brain I processing the fact that
What happens next? am i really free? Today I'm
being released from jail I was not keen in going
back hone I know my mom always makes my visit
a spectacular by cooking my favorite meal and
spending time with me I sigh as I looked at my
driver standing outside the car
" remember babe this is your freedom use it
wisely think with your head do not allow
emotions to crowd you " that Zim for you parting
ways with my only best friend hurt more than
ever I promised to stay I touch as soon as my
parents by me a phone ... I'm officially alone i drag
my suitcase and the passenger door opened of my
car my mom stepped out and I held my mouth

46 | P a g e
Her : you thought I was going to miss you last day
at school ?"
Me: maka Sbahle ?"
She smiled at me with tears in her eyes
Her :" may I hug you " I nodded as she engulfed
me with a hug
Her : ooh sana lwami " this was the best day of my
life to hang with my mother away from home the
drive home was going yo be long because she first
wanted us to go shopping do our hair and catch
up she also bought me a phone yet! I'm 18 years
and its my first time owning a phone . spending
time with Mon
this I can get used to for the first time in million
years I could laugh with no worry in the world I
was tired on our drive back hone I placed my head
on my moms lap as she brushed my hair back
" Me : mama how did you and farther meet ?
She looked at me in shock she was not expecting
that question from me at all
her: why are you asking me story’s from the past ?
Mtanami"
I told her that i was curious to know if it was love
that brought them together or if her marriage was
arranged also .

47 | P a g e
One thing you should know about my mother is
that she one of those beautify hour glass full
figured women who normally keep to her self she
is not too much of talker and has few if no friends
at all I guess she enjoys her duties of being a
house wife or in this case force to smile and wave
it was shocking to see her outside the royal
realms she hardly leaves the house it like she
made her self a prisoner there or was made one
by my uncle but I always wondered why. So today
I was hopping that she might share some lite
about her life . I looked at her with out blinking
Her : ooh God ngizoqalaphi"
Mom always find joy in talking about my dad I
know my mom loved my father better yet she still
does it was love at first sight luckily for here I still
don't understand the concept of Falling in love at
first sight its one of those things you either
believe in or don't. The concept of it is so fairytale
like it's almost hard to believe it can actually
happen in reality. But according to mom and the
way she smiling right now ... Its looks like the
mind plays tricks on you when you meet that
special person subconscious plays a role and takes
over ...its not a normal feeling at all she went on

48 | P a g e
to tell me that Love at first sight has nothing to do
with good looks. If love were dependent on good
looks then we would all fall in love every time we
walked down the street and saw good looking
Pearson By the time we’d get home we’d have
fallen in love multiple times. The real secret
behind why we fall in love at first sight is because
something in the way this particular person
happens to look has triggered a comparison in our
subconscious mind to someone from our past
who meant a lot to us. This is why when I fell in
love with your father I could not believe it he was
arranged to marry my sister and he saw me and
well the rest is history she said and her eyes
sparkled.
Me : how did you know he was the one "
Her : baby when it happen you just know that
feeling in your gut that makes you feel like you
could take flight from the high or vomit from the
anxiety-induced nausea. You can't help but feel
giddy every time they come a bit too close and
you almost touch. Butterflies are a trademark sign
that you are seriously feeling some things "
Me : Wow love is creepy "
She laughed

49 | P a g e
Her : its so beautiful I pray you experience it my
baby and I wish you can tell me more about it I
long to see tears of joy in your eyes then of pain "
it's good to see her smile like this this question
was more of putting a smile on her face but also
feed me with curiosity of what love is she talked
about growing up and a how she meet my father
while I drifter from listen to her and actually
thought why does my future have to turn out life
this why can I marry the love of my life too ...We
later arrived at home with my mom gently waking
me up the yard was packed with few cars.
Me : what's going on ?"
Mom : ooh my God he went ahead and did it '
Me : did what maka Sbahle ? "
Her : plan your welcome hone party "
Me : WHAT!! He had something planned for me
???.
Her : ooh my God we are so late ... " she jumped
out of the car and offers me her hand to hold
Her : come baby " she wanted to cry because she
did not know about this and she is not sure how
angry her husband is and right on queue he
walked out with his whisky glass on his hand
Him : princess welcome home! " mom was

50 | P a g e
apologizing for coming late he just looks at her
Him ; not now nkosikazi ... Ngenisa umtana
ngaphakathi "
I dragged my feet and indeed it was kind of like a
little party mostly relatives from my father's side
no...no...no they want to hug me
no...no...no they want to hug me "Nah that's not
happening." I didn't feel comfortable I know I was
surrounded by a lot of people in prison but being
surrounded by people outside especially this
people it made me sick it became a whole
different atmosphere. Its my first day officially
Outside of school and I found it hard to talk to
people to this people in fact ... my anxiety went
on full mode .. I faked throwing up and ran to the
bathroom and locked my self there
.
.( few days later )
It few day before my birthday or should I say
Memulo and I'm cooped up in one of the rondovel
In my homestead I got two other girls with me
Nwabisa and Dudu they also my cousin Dudu is a
total snob my age Nwabisa is older them me she a
qhikiza shy strict and reserved while Dudu Who
introduced her self as didy is outspoken and

51 | P a g e
speaks English all the time i have been joined on
the hip with them for Four days now and two days
from now I will parade half naked for the whole
village to see me I'm only tolerating this nonsense
because its my mothers idea and she finds pride
in African Zulu culture she still shocked let just say
proud that I'm still pure .
An old lady has been appointed to guide us trough
out the ceremony I have come to understand that
she is virgin tester or leads izintombi Zomhlanga
in the valley she has agreed to mentor us about
this event and the importance of this ceremony I
leaned a lot about culture respect and being a
women in particular basically Umemulo also
known as the “coming of age is an important Zulu
ritual that celebrates a young girl’s journey into
womanhood The ceremony indicates that the
young girl has transitioned from a child and into
an adult woman who can now get married
Traditionally umemulo was performed around the
age of puberty and awarded to young girls who
had respected their bodies but with evolving
times and western influence on African culture
the ceremony is now done when girls reach the
age of 21 Well in my case this is done early

52 | P a g e
because the Mnguni have already asked for my
hand in marriage mom thought it will be best that
she do it now instead ...the ceremony is a way of
showing appreciation to the young woman for
respecting herself and her family and community
along with following their teachings.
My stepfathers believe that this will help me
shape me to be a better women and stop acting
like a boy yah right... So today they slaughtering a
goat i have it skin on my wrist ( isiphandla ) this
ceremony is done to thank the God
Nomkhubulwane for guiding me to purity a cow
will be slaughter tomorrow .
I Didn't know how this was so important but
seeing my mother laugh and so proud of Me it
melted my heart the only thing that got me down
was when a group of old women came to the
rondovel and started preparing me for marriage I
was taught on how to be good bride and wife. I
would much rather die than have such talk with
this women I just looked down and listen that
what was expected of me vele
The next morning its 4:00am Friday morning we at
the river bathing the red clay from our body (
ibovu)

53 | P a g e
Didy : we have to do something with that ink on
your back "
Me : its a tattoo so if you can wash it off feel free
to do so"
Nwabisa : you father will Frick out does he even
know about it "
I shook my head
Didy : this is going to be so fun I cant wait to see
the look on there eyes "
We bust out and laugh one thing we have in
common with this girls is the hate we have for our
parents so you most probably wondering how I
have a tattoo let's just say during my
Rebellious stage I decided on painting my body on
my back I have my father name written in chines
going down on my spine its big and you can't hide
it since it start from my neck down to the waist it
was all Zim idea when I visited her for school
holidays in Jo'burg few years back
Me : I'm somebody wife Nwabisa my father has
no say over me now "
" are you ready for that " didy asked
Me : I don't think I will ever be ready ... "
Nwabisa : one think I have leaned in all of this is
that you not in this thing alone the guys life is also

54 | P a g e
going to change he also is forced to marry you ...
Remember girl its an arranged marriage both
parties will hate each other For years use those
years to make a name for yourself gone are those
days when we have to leave like our mothers in
such marriages "_
I was dressing up i suddenly stop
Me : what do you mean? "
Her : you want to study right ... Be independent
angithi ?"
I nodded
Her : I'll give you my a tip my sister got from your
sister take charge stand your ground ..."
Me : I don't understand "
Her : I'm engaged has been like that for Years now
My marriage was -sort of against my wishes. I just
wanted to finish college first you know In our
community girls get married between 18-21 and
guys between 24-30. "
Me : hold up I'm marrying a younger guy not a old
wrinkled man "
Didy laughed " that against our royal arranged
marriage laws ooh hell no girl you marrying a
prince most probably who will also be too pre -
occupied to pay any attention to you so kahle

55 | P a g e
kahle wena you marriage his family "
Ooh god could this be ?
Gogo: ayboo enough with chit chat asambe
before the sun rise up "
We set on foot with blanket covering over our
heads and Nwabisa telling me about her arranged
marriage
Nwabisa : so I was already 19 and my parents
were freaking out. I agreed to engagement but
not the wedding until I finished fifth year of dental
college. I come home for Christmas vacation and
my parents didn't let me go back. Like they
physically restrained me. I threatened to tell my
husband to be and his family that I was being
forced to marry and drop out if school and for
that I was beaten up badly my parents forcing me
now to never go back to college. I texted with SO
for a few months with no luck. The first time I saw
him was at the engagement. Technically it was
Zibizo ceremony which meant we were married
legally in culture now but for us I treated it as
engagement .. When I had lost all faith his mother
came and took me the day after I'm more of there
younger daughter then a wife to there son I still
continued with school till today ..."

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Me : ooh my God you so lucky "
She shook her head No
Her : I'm not he is coming back next year and my
living environment may change but I'm glad I got a
job line up for me now and I achieved my dream
..."
I looked at her and held her hand this was so
touching yet I thought i was alone in this mess but
some of my relatives are suffering just like I am.
Her : your sister said I must tell you my story and
can only hope that you will use this situation to
your advantage we Bhengu women we strong and
I believe in you Sbahle you will not parish you will
rise up
.

Chapter 7

sli ***
i was Sitting on the couch close to the window in
my bedroom waiting for him to arrive
I pulled my legs to my chest as his car parks he
stepped out looking like something that just

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walked out of the fashion magazine no doubt Trey
is the most handsome man I have ever met he
was wearing blue jeans white shirt rolled up on
his arms white snickers his hair was kept in place
by a black bandana he had shades on .. I
swallowed hard just looking at him he made me
realise what I just lost . was it all worth it ... I keep
playing could have been in my head Imagining the
painful breakup it messy and noisy there is 3rd
part involve that join us together . communication
is lost and all we do is fight and ague I lost him
when I left he has changed grown up exact i
wiped the tear that escaped my eyes i just place
my head on my knees I just wish that the The
Earth could stopped spinning I wish to wake up in
his arms just for once but the The Sun will never
again rise in the east... The nights have became
grueling longer then they ever seemed to be the
pain in my chest it's so painful its like i've been cut
open wounded and left vulnerable to the winds of
change and uncertainty ... I lost the only man I
long for I have lost a friend...love that was so
beautiful i miss him so much he was the one
person who filled up my lonely cup and makes this
world a little more habitable.

58 | P a g e
I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand I felt
his presence his in my bedroom his Cologne so
powerful almost blocking my air supply my face
was a mess I was not going to lift my head up
anytime soon I can not allow him to see me like
this no.
Him : I knew you were amazing from the moment
I set my eyes on you I was just a boy going trough
lot of changes but you never gave up on me I tried
to fight what i felt for you but the heart wants
what it wants it was futile as love proved to be
stronger. Thank you for not giving up on me then
.... I'm still mad at you for choosing to go the
journey alone … I wish I was there when you
discovered that you are pregnant the joy
expectations preparations I would have enjoyed
that but being the women you are you yet put me
first and did it all on your own I know being a
single parent for the past years was not easy it has
been a struggle but looking at Zee you managed
to be the best mother ever for that i thank you!
Thank you for sacrificing your beauty I know how
you girls feel about your ’ vanity" I smiled
Him : those beautiful clothes you struggled to put
on that they wouldn’t fit your changing body

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shape those many sleepless night's … Thank you
for enduring through the pains and mood swings
giving up your favorite meals to satisfy our baby's
cravings ... Thank you for standing tall against the
pain and many procedures you went through
while giving birth .... i remember like it was
yesterday when she hugged me with her tinny
arms I was spellbound many things changed that
moment …
I felt like I never did before though hard to explain
it was an amazing feeling! We can call it
parenthood feeling until science catches up I've
watched you turn into a mother quickly your
motherly instinct gave me utmost confidence that
our child was raised in correct manner and I could
ask for any better women to make me a father
I owe you my life ....I owe you so much that I will
never repay it all...and today
I come to you asking you to forgive me ...you hurt
me Silindile by leaving and by keeping the baby
news to your self i understand your reason now
and I was just to angry to listen back then and for
that I'm sorry

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I come to you asking you to forgive me ...you hurt
me Silindile by leaving and by keeping the baby
news to your self i understand your reason now
and I was just to angry to listen back then and for
that I'm sorry most of the things I said to you
were out of anger and i didn't mean it I hope you
can find it on your heart to forgive me "
He was quite and I on the other hand was a crying
mess its been three months since Trey came to
know about Zee and through out that time we
have had endless fight it was toxic and chaotic I
have longed to hear him say this words to me ooh
God I could not stop crying right now I felt his
hands on my shoulder I raised my head up and
our eyed locked
Him: I'm sorry "
He pulled me to hug and I just melted in his arms
his heart beating fast then normal his heavy
breathing ... I held on to him for my dear life as he
brushed my back and said everything will be OK
Him: wish I could undo the pain you’re feeling in
your heart right now. I wish I had the power to
just wash it away make it disappear.... Please
forgive me mother of my child "
Me : I long forgiven you but it's to hear you say

61 | P a g e
this words to me that just make me cry its tears of
joy mix with lot of emotions I'm also sorry .. " he
cut me off
Him : hay I understand Silindile you have said
sorry to me to last me my whole life "
I pulled out of his embraced and laughed he had
that dashing smile of his face
Him : I missed that "
I looked at him and held my face and blushed he
is the only man that brings out the shy girl in me
Him: for all the things you have been trough I'm
sorry I made you cry ... "_
He ran his hands on my face wiped my tears I
know this look his giving me right now it the same
look that made me fall in love with him
Him : you gave me a beautiful girl she is beautiful
like you ... You have made me a proud father ...
Thank you " I smiled and looked down he lifted
my chin our eyes locked and spark started to fly
Ooh God his to close to me my vow was to always
love him has just been renewed I feel closer to
him our heart started to beat as one Not only did
we resolving our issue with Trey but the chemistry
between us has been lit i feel closer to him and
more relaxed its like i have gotten something off

62 | P a g e
my shoulders OK the Zithelo issue is resolve thank
God we can walk past that but its now leaves me
wondering about us I need to know because I
have been holding on to negative feelings and
finally have the opportunity to express them. You
know When you’re more relaxed you might find
that your sexual response flows more freely and
right now I need Trey ... His look change which
makes me ask my self is
It really the rainbow at the end of the storm. . . or
the storm just began in my life
Him : I will always love you" he will always me ?
what does he mean by that?
Me : I love you".
He had to know that I love him there is no right
time or specific date you must say this three letter
words I feel it In my gut and Honestly there's no
way to know unless you know. I've said it once
before and I meant it from top to bottom but i
don't know why I feel scared to say it but when
you know it really means something you go ahead
and say it anyway
he kissed me on my forehead ran the back of his
hands on my face look at me one more time
before he stands up . he looked outside the

63 | P a g e
window and he was in deep thought I can not
read him he had this wall over him I stand up as
well i Want to hold him I'm to shot and being bear
foot next to him makes me look even shorter
Me: what's going on Trey ..." I finally ask with a
mother of all lump on my trout '
Him : I'm getting married Silindile "

Chapter 8

The day part 1

Sibahle ****
I was pretty shaken when they told me that we
were going to sleep by the river on the eve of the
ceremony but i guess their were pulling my leg
because more girls joined us and they taught us
the Zulu dance yoo it was so fun it was more of
camping kind of thing I really enjoyed it there is
something about culture that fascinated me a lot I
wish I knew about this early .
In the mist of it all the singing clapping drum beat
and dancing I was on my own world it like
something took over me I never felt so alive Like I

64 | P a g e
am tonight a light flashed over the river and music
died out my mom held her mouth
Me : kwenzakalani"
Her : your uncle has came to give your spear "
I frowned still confused my mom held my hand
and we had to meet up with them in the middle
of the river my mother's brother came with a
spear I had to kneel they lit impempo and called
out my mother clan name after that he poked the
spear in front of me the women started lulating
some
chanted in praise I smiled this was so
overwhelming he then pinned couple of notes on
my head and gave me a gift box to open when I
get home.
I was still puzzled why all of this was done in the
middle of the night and the middle of the river
mom told me that it
something to do with how she left her home that
why the spear had to be handed to me by the
river I knew that tensions were high and there
was more to the story when my grandmother that
I have just seen for the first time in my 18 years of
existent hugged me as if her life depended on it
mom was crying like crazy as if somebody died

65 | P a g e
which made me realise there is more skeleton in
my family's closet both on my mother side and
fathers side.
I exchange numbers with my grandmother and
uncle I promised to keep in touch my inquisitive
being need answers anyway my grandmother and
uncle they left when it was close to dawn it left
me feeling bitter sweet I wish they could stay for
my ceremony
" take lot pics my sunshine and will chat and
Skype " gogo said I laughed yoh this grandmother
of mine is forward .
The activities became more fun when we were
about to leave in the morning we were all naked (
all the girls ) and only covered with a blanket sang
and dance around the fire before we jumped over
it and we were told not to look back ( prevent bad
omen from following us) so morning came so fast
as expected you know when you having fun it
always short lived we had to return home damn
this girls love to dance and sing I did not know the
songs but thanks God I’m good with dancing hay I
got happy feet so here I was doing my thing till we
finally approached the royal realms my stepfather
welcomed me with a live goat with mpepho yo

66 | P a g e
tixo I'm officially one with the smoke now he said
his thing and I was escorted to my room to dress
up I had to were isidwaba and lot of beads the
colour of the day was yellow hideous
I know never the release i look good my small
eyes and thick pouted lips stick out of the make
up that Didy forced me to put on
Didy : yazi you such s work of art ... No wander
your mother name you Sibahle you are true
beauty "
Me : nawe umuhle nje "
Nwabisa : she just a yellow bone paint her black
ungabona inunu yodwa " we laughed
Mom: asambe Sibahle its time "
We were now in the ancestral rondovel listening
to my uncle go on and on damn my knees where
killing me now since I was kneeling down is he
ever going to finish A cow was slaughters that
morning to congratulate me and thanking the
ancestors for keeping me safe
He then took cow’s bile and sprinkling it on the
back of my hands fingers toes and the top of her
head. This is believed to connect me with her
ancestors and pleads with them to keep me safe
and guide me he then step out leaving my mom

67 | P a g e
with my aunts
Mom : Sbahle take off your vest sweetheart "
Didy : oh oh moment truth"
Nwabisa : Dudu awuthule "
Mom: shesha Sisi you must hurry your guest are
waiting esigcawini '
I slowly took of my top off here goes nothing ...
" yooh "
" mibhalo muni lo"
" tixo idimoni lodwa leli "
Mom: Sibahle Bhengu what on the love of
Bhekumuzi have you got on your back "
Shit just hit the fan when mom start shouting
using my father name in between
Me : I tattoo maka Sbahle "
Ma: I see that It a tattoo but what is it doing on
your back "
I looked down
Ma : ooh Nkosi yami Sbahle izongibulala lendoda
namuhla ..."
Nwabisa : we can try and cover it up with make up
"
Didy : have you seen the sun outside ... You got to
be Joking"
Me: do you ever shut up ?" Referred to Didy

68 | P a g e
Me : " ma I know its big but I love it its the only
thing that reminds me of Dad its his name
Bhekumuzi Bhengu written in Chinese "
Her :ooh mtanami Tattoo pho ?" she laughed and
turned me around and ran her hands on my back
Didy : its beautiful right ?"
Me & Nwabisa : awuthule !!!"
The whole house cracked up
My mom hugged me and took the layer of fat
taken from the cow’s stomach ( imhlehlwe ) and
she covers it over my chest and back yo this thing
is oily and big
One of the aunt : I hope umhlwehlwe nge
uhlukani Sibahle "
Its believed that if umhlwehlwe brakes esigcawini
a maiden is no longer a virgin
One of the gogo chuckle : ucwele umtwana uthe
mfi ... Ngiyaziqhenya ngawe nkosazane
uziphathile mtanami "
She put white clay on my forehead as sigh that I'm
still pure oh might as well tell the whole world
while at it jizz Zulu culture has no boundaries
Didy ; ooh brother there goes my make up "
I laughed this girl Jesus
Nwamisa : I'm proud of you my sister " we group

69 | P a g e
hug our attire were similar and we took lot pics
and posted till we were lead out to the open
space it looked like an Irena Yoo all this people
came to my ceremony it was packed and i dance
and sang I didn't even have to go around pointing
my spear they ran to me and
took the spear and dance (agiye) then put a
certain amount of money only paper notes on my
head
I must be a millionaire now with all the cash that
pinned on my head I've done few cash out and off
loading my cash when it got to much my spear
was going around people and I smiled and clap
hands Didy was busy wiping my face while
Nwabisa stood with an umbrella next to me
Didy : ooh father good who's that yummy guy
with your spear " I looked up and saw Mr White
guy walking around with this guy .. No Waite its a
she but dmn she is fine
Nwabisa : fuck why did I get married early "
I looked at her and laughed
White guy : Princes we meet again "
I smiled and nodded
The stud: your husband say hi and please forgive
us we not sure about your culture we got no cash

70 | P a g e
with us but we wrote you a cheque hope you
don't mind "
Didy : not at all baby we don't "
I nudge her and I felt them pinning something on
my head
White guy : see you later princess "
Nwabisa : our culture also says that if you have a
spear in your hand you need to do the Zulu dance
"
What??? this is what I got to see ? I have never
laughed in my life like I just did right now yep its
true white man can't dance at all and the stud
with him did a nay nay mix with vosho the crowd
was laughing and cheering on
Nwabisa : Holly shit they signed you a cheque for
R100k
Me ; INI ??
.
.

Chapter 9

Trey ***
TREY just set down because he felt like his head

71 | P a g e
was spinning ever since he mentioned that he is
getting married to Sli and she stated walking
around the room she was wearing a denim bum
short and white vest her weave was tied in a
messy bun Trey looked at how tinny her feet are
on white fluffy Capet she was walking on
Her : what ??”
The question was indirect question to herself Trey
did not have any answers he knew that he just
broke her fragile heart into tinny pieces that can
never be mended there no turning back time even
if Sli did not leave Trey’s fate will have still meant
that he was suppose to marry a royal blood as
much as Sli is his baby mother his first love his
family would have never approved of them the
last thing he wanted to do was to repeat history
and do the same mistake his father did.
Sli was registering everything she just heard she
than held her face and broke down and cried the
last thing that Trey ever wanted to do was to
make the mother of his child cry sli has cried
enough he wish that he could be the one that will
make her happy but in fact its like every time their
path cross there is always a boundary walls
preventing them from being together is it destiny

72 | P a g e
that they brake each others heart like this ? is it
even normal for love to be so forbidden but yet to
beautiful ?
She just cried even louder just thinking about
what she went trough she did not believe that she
just never experience love second ago and
suddenly the tide just change her heart was
bleeding she yet again Losing him to someone
else it was shattering
Why couldn't they just be is This why love is such
a lottery?. Rare is it that both party’s feel exactly
the same. Even if they try to figure things out that
doesn’t guarantee any success.
Her : I waited I sacrifice so much and this happens
to me like this ??" The sadness subsided she
became furious what was the point in believing in
the upper power? what was the point of following
destiny when it has to hurt her like this Unlike
men who always want to be a woman’s first lover
women always desire to be a man’s last lover with
whom they settled down with . she has given him
a child yes it was not planned but the baby has to
count for something she never saw her self raising
a child as a single parent or co-parenting with Trey
was she to naïve and believed that happy ending

73 | P a g e
will come trough for her if she persevered trough
all the instruction provided … she waited for so
long to be in this one room with Trey and talk like
old time without fighting but she never pictured it
to be like this only to hand over him over to his
final and future lover she felt so borrow or ‘used’
by destiny
Trey : Silindile " she felt the air way shutting down
she held her chest
She was more frustration at the fact that they
wasted their time preparing him for commitment
which never belong to her . she was scorned
woman
Her : what there to say Trevor hhhe ? haven’t you
hurt me enough ? why does loving you hurt so
much !!!“
he breath out loud and held his head facing down
it was complicated fucked up situation
her : “ do you love her ? “
him : “ Sli don’t do this to yourself ? “|
her : “ just answers me !! “
him : “ no … I don’t even know her its an arranged
marriage “
her : what?”
him : “ royalty “

74 | P a g e
her : “ oh my God … what am I going to tell my
daughter Trey ? she just found you and already
she is asking too many question’s about us “
Trey looked down he never thought that far all
along he did what he had to do because he was
forced to do so now there is child involve his child
considering separation with Sli brought fear of the
unknown . How will this affect his Princess Will
she slip to emotional depression ? Will she hate
him for putting her through this mess? Is this
going to scare her off marriage and commitment
for the rest of her life? Will the women his
arranged to marry be nice towards his princess he
held his head he was not sure about everything …
but he remember the vow he made to his people
to his family
him : “ it a condition in my life that I need to
uphold “
sli : “ why Trey “
him : “ it is what it is Silindili I wanted to tell you
my self the truth then you hearing from someone
else I'm sorry ok … but you the one that left me
have you ever once thought that when you come
back I would not be crying over you or waiting for
you ? I got duties to do and kingdom to run I don't

75 | P a g e
expect for you to understand but I will appreciate
if is for you stop blaming me for a condition I have
no control over “
Sli : Trey you are arranged to marry a women you
don't love …and you expect me to be happy for
you …. You know very well how I feel about you
…!!! “
She was shouting and Trey hated that the Alpha
inside of him commands respect and this what
she is doing was pissing him off
Him : I'm in the same room as you are you will
refrain raising you voice at me uyezwa!! "
His voice was commanding that alone got Sli on a
submission mode
Him : as I was saying ... " she cut him of and that
angered him even more
Her : “ did you think of what this will do to Zee"
Him : “ bull shit silindile why you using my child to
fight you battles!!!! “
Her : So when you came here to tell me this what
did you expect ? for me to be happy … to say
congratulation ? “
him : haybo I told never raise your voice at me !! "
he roarer sli looked down in able to control her
tears

76 | P a g e
Trey looked at her he was angry but some how It
killed him to see Sli crying like this she was broken
to no extent all the years he has know sli she has
watch her put on a coat of strength sli was more
like an eggs in his eyes tough on the outside but
soft on the inside. Initially she seem rather
unapproachable and cold but as you get to know
her you discover that she has a warm side too.
Trey understood this Sli may stand in front of
millions and motivate and heal others but her
own wounds and bruises are bleeding out and not
attended its true that People who are outwardly
tough are easily mistaken as rocks. They are
respected for their strength and confidence but
honest fact is that there masters of the disguise of
there true pain
Him : “ im sorry ok … my intention was not to hurt
you but to come clean to you as a mother of my
child i know the sacrifice you made for me and for
Zithelo you put you life on hold and I hate that im
the cause of that … I wish I can tell you that this is
a bad dream you will wake up from but reality is
that … this time tomorrow I need to be with my
wife … “
Sli felt defeated as she sank on the bed she had

77 | P a g e
no fight in her Trey made his way and set next to
her parting with the only women who ever held
his heart was the most difficult thing he has to do
him : What I’m trying to say is that just because
someone gets married doesn’t mean they married
the love of their life. You will always be the true
love of my life
Sponsored
What’s most important is that you don’t allow it
to make you feel bad about yourself or prevent
you from finding happiness Your perception is
your reality … please Sli don’t let me hold you
back "
As Trey ran his hands on his face he felt the rush
to hold her and so he did pull her for a hug
Sl slide down of the bed and stood in front of Trey
if this is the last time he going to be with him as a
single man she might as well make it memorable
Her : what about me Trey ...ngenzenjani?" he
stopped and looked at her she was in between his
legs she lifted her top and took it off
Trey : sli... Please "_his eyes were meet with her
lacy white bra
He swallowed he knew that he could not stop the
edge inside of him

78 | P a g e
him: I'm really sorry " he said and he pulled her
close she placed her forehead on his there eyes
locked they lips touched she held her breath as
she felt the worm of his touch on her body …
.
.
[not narrated ]
Sli ***
Nothing else in the world mattered then for me to
be in his arms again call me stupid call me naïve
horny bitchy I don’t care I have longed to be with
him for years I dreamt about him giving me
multiple orgasm and right now I want to hold him
feel him just for the last time
My heart felt like it would jump out of my chest.
When he lifted me up My soul felt too big for my
skin.
He lay me down on the bed and I grabbed his
chest. Holding him was like riding a bike. It was as
if nothing had changed as if the last few years we
spent separated didn't exist
The intensity of our togetherness then and there
was enough to make up for all lost time.
The moment our lips locked felt like our first kiss
he tasted so good – My alluring forbidden fruitful

79 | P a g e
taste of his lips A succulent and sweet taste that
Lies within those soft lips
But still why must I distance my self to him ? must
i distance myself to this I don’t think I can his
going down on me he making me touch all the
planets in the universe I can't hold it I scream his
name I push his head deep in between my legs
this feeling I have right now
its beyond my grasp its so alluring forbidden but
yet so addictive No matter how hard I fight it I
splash my juices he suck me dry and make me
taste my self in his lips his lips so forever tender
and sweet From the very first taste of That first
stolen kiss I became addicted. This feeling was
followed by first touch in my most delicate places
I don't know if his too big he can not feet I flinch
he cradle me under his arms he planted bite on
my neck as the growled like a bull on my ear and I
let out a moan as my walls stretch to
accommodate him
Him : “ you waited “
I bite my lip and nodded his eyes we barely visible
his voice husky and way too deep Every muscle in
my body eased into repose. Every inch of him
surrendered to the vulnerability inside of me.

80 | P a g e
Memories mostly good flooded my mind with his
every thrust –
It was like a melody I sang on my conscious mind
crying inside as he
thrust in ~~~~it’s been so long~~~
thrust out~~~ you’ll have to go soon~~~
thrust in~~~ I remember what your love felt
like~~~~
Thrust out~~~ wait come back please do not go I
need more of you~~
Touching him felt like pure poison. I knew he was
eventually going to leave but all I wanted to do
was make our moments last. He was the illicit love
and I the naive wanderer willing to do anything
just to get my hands on him before he became
somebody else property this was my dream to be
in his arms
We spent the rest of the night holding each other
tossing me on top him on top on the floor on the
shower it was explosive ...
I woke up with tears in my eyes unable to contain
my longing for him. His side of the bed was warm
his Cologne lingered I felt emptier than I've ever
felt before I thought being with him would
reignite something in me. I thought fooling

81 | P a g e
around with my past would help catapult me
forward into the future. . . what future do I have
without him

Chapter 10

Trey **"
I stood on the shower and water washed over me.
I was at Sbu and Pam’s house here in Durban I'm
not sure if I feel shame or what? I just spend the
night with my baby mama I not only just slept
with her once or twice I spend the whole night
with her to top it up on the eve of my bloody
engagement party
damit Trey you are fuckin married man what
really come over you ? I ask myself Yes I love Sli
no doubt but I feel like I took advantage of her ....
of the situation in fact ... was sex necessary ?
Jesus but I must admit
After all that was said and done I just fond there's
nothing sexier than what you can't have so when
sli initiated breakup sex I obliged. It's supposed to
be the best sex right? Besides the damage is
already done so what's the harm? I closed the tap

82 | P a g e
and looked at myself in the mirror
" it was just break up sex Trey this things happens
get over it " I convinced myself I walked out of the
bathroom time was not on my side and I was
ignoring calls from my grandmother Austin and
Mbali … not to mention mama shit they all waiting
for me at the Bhengu homestead and I’m here
cleaning the guilt and shame of sleeping with my
baby mama I quickly dressed up and took my car
keys and phone and rushed out I turned music on
but fuck my thoughts were so loud I felt like I was
possessed every time I closed my eyes I saw Sli
face biting her lip her Mouth slightly open her
lustful look she made when I go deep on her
“ get out of my head “ I banged the steering
wheel “ she was tormenting me no doubt I
recalled looking at her for the last time before I
left the room with no goodbye note of goodbye
kiss all I could see was pain in her heart she is the
person with less power in this break up she is
heartbroken and really wants to get back together
while the i with more power doesn’t... I can but I
just can't yes sex was a bliss but I feel shame and
guilt Sli is the mother of my baby not piece of
meat that I can snack on she means more to me

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than that
"Fuck " I cursed out loud Romantic relationships
are essentially addictive…so when an attachment
is severed the natural reaction is one of
withdrawal obsession craving and pain why did I
have t complicate this with sex
Me: damit Sli ..."_
I was so sure and also told myself that i will never
cheat on my wife no women deserve such heart
arch but fuck this breakup sex just confuse me i
got mix feelings now I'm not sure if i have started
to feel loved-up again or just remember how good
she was in bed and suddenly the reasons for
breaking up don't seem to make quite so much
sense anymore but Whether i decide to get back
together with her or just end up in that horrible
“we're exes who are still hung up on each other
but are still having sex" area which i pray not to
be like that ooh God please I just have to try not
to get into that ... stuck in that loved-up glow
fever its not worth it or healthy my phone
connected to bluetooth almost making me pee
myself
" ukuphi ?"
I breath out loud it was only Zoe

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" aah ..."
" come on Trey uGogo is explaining why the
groom is absent kuzibizo zomkakhe ... I know this
is not an ideal situation for you but mfethu think
about this girl you humiliating "
Me : I'm on my way Zoe I just had a flat tire "
" oh brother please just get here now "
She dropped the call and I speed off shit way to go
Trey you just made yourself an ass to your in-law.
Two and half hours late ….
" finally you made it "
I shook my head fixed my shirt
Me : how do I look "
Mbali : like you someone's husband
Austin : this people made us do Zulu dance "
Me : you gave her her money right ? "
Mbali : dude did you hear what we just said we
freakin dance in front of a crowd and we Trending
now " I inwardly rolled my eyes at Mbali I'm so
nervures I mean I'll be meeting my wife for the
first time tradition says we must stand outside till
" amaqhikiza “ gets us
Me : I hope she likes her dress"
Austin : she is beautiful bro . . . grandma got taste
trust me even if she rocks out of here with a sack

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on she will still be gorgeous “
Mbali : I still think she plays for my team "
Me :what ?... "_
Austin : she got this twisted thing on her head
that princess is a stud "
I chuckled ... And asked about koko they told Me
that she in the tent with the VIP guest she with
Mama I breath out loud
Austin : looks like there done handing out gift “
Me : “ what ? “
Mbali pointed and I saw commotion on the
entrance my heart was beating on my throat
Me : “ I wish you are here “
Her : “ I know baby I just pray to get better so I
can see that gem you marrying “
me : “ who told you she beautiful ? “
Her : “ koko could not stop bragging “
I laughed I was chatting to Pam who was pissed
that she could not come she was not fit to fly she
was not fit to fly she has been very sick this day
and Dr recommended bed rest for her I looked up
when I heard singing from girl
Me : wow “
Austin : I guess this is an invite inside "
Mbali : about time I'm starving

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Sbahle ***
my family have made this a norm to do things
behind my back here I was all happy and free
thinking that it's my big day my birthday /
Memulo And dukuduku ...mom
came like a tornado to my table “ Go hide at the
rondavel Sbahle your in-law balethe izibizo “ ... I
was shocked and angry why was I not told about
this
Ma: look at your face now and ask me why I never
told you "
“ but angikadli ma “
Her : just Go sibahle ! “
I felt like screaming so here I was in my room
being told that today was going to be my memulo
infused with izibizo ceremony which means that
Grooms people will need to award my family with
gifts and I need to do umbondo in a days time
from now which is more or less the same thing
issue gifts and grocery to my in-laws not as if they
need it from what I pickup my in-laws are loaded
… we just follow ing culture and customs nje
Didy : “ looks like you having a summer wedding “
Oh I forgot to inform you that the white and
traditional wedding is in mid December am I

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happy about finding about all of this today as in
few hours ago oh hell no ! on the day of my
Memulo oh hell no! it like my family is
deliberately pissing me off .
Nwabisa : “ get off the window your in –laws are
coming here “
I was just wrapped on my bathrobe and I was
tired mind you i never slept for the past few days
two beautiful women walked in greeted us
“ ninjani … “ asked the one with nit afro she has
curves for days and dimples wow beautiful we
greeted them back
“ we sister of your Husband and we were sent to
dress you up … “ well it tradition that Groom
comes with gift and my outfit they must dress me
up from head to toe and judging from the bags
they came with they had everything I picked up
that the girl with afro her name is Veli and the
other with Pink hair coloured is Nokuzola but they
called her Zoe her personality was welcoming and
she loves joking and laughing
They called in a girl to do my makeup and nails
while they set and chat with me they were pretty
friendly Zoe loves her champagne because the
glass did not leave her hand

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and I got to understand the family I’m married
into its located in the Ngonyama village based in
west part of Swaziland my husband to be is king
his name is Mvelo Trevor Mnguni lawyer by
profession CEO of his law firm and other major
companies including hotels malls farms …
Zoe : “ so what you want to study ? “
I have not thought that far all I know is that I’m
good with numbers
Didy : “ she is not afraid to speak her mind and
very good judge of corrector so I think being a
Judge will be great career path for her “
I looked at her this girl never shut up
Veli: “ well I like how you think Dudu it will be
great working hand in hand with Ngonyama “ that
the name they call my husband i kinda like it too it
carries so much power
Zoe : “ true running the kingdom and empire ..
good thinking “ they high five with Didy I just
laughed
The lady who was doing my makeup she packed
up they things and smiled as she looked at me I
finally had to put on my attire it was nothing
Fancy just traditional Swati print Long umbrella
skirt white bobtube elegant top with pearls details

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I also had this big over the shoulder beads a head
scarf that match the skirt and a matching cloth to
put over my shoulders the dominant colour was
red
" I'm not wearing that " I pointed at red high heels
that Zoe tried to put on my feet
She Giggled
Zoe : “ I told you Veli that she will not wear this
shoes “
They laughed
Zoe : “ I hope you don’t mind wearing takkies “ I
smiled when I saw white all star chuck taylor
Zoe : I love you ink ... What does it mean ? “ she
was referring to my tattoo
Me : its my late father name "
She nodded
Me : and your ‘s " she had big tattoo of angel
wings on her back it was one of manny that she
had she said ink painting is therapeutic to her you
see i'm not alone got people who think like me
Her : its represent my baby girl lost her before I
could hold her "
Me : im sorry "
Her : it OK ...umuhle "
I looked down " thank you "

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We heard girls singing
Zoe : wow right on queue we done
Veli : it's about time ... Come it's time to meet you
hubby "
Didy : “ ooh my God is that him ? “
I suddenly felt my knees shaking oh God No !
.
.

Chapter 11

Sibahle ***
I walked out looking down and every one was
creaming my name women ululate Man praising
me with my clan name I zintombi singing
“ Woyisholo wena! Woyisholo wena!
(Ukuthi why ubuntombi ungasenabo!)
Baphi omama bey'ntombi iy'ntombi ma_Africa!
Khuzani khuzani olafa elakithi sil'bhekile!
Baphi omama bey'ntombi iy'ntombi ma_Africa!
Wololo wololo wololo wentombi olafa elakini
lik'bhekile!
Woy'sholo wena woyisholo wena ukuthi why
ubuntombi ungasenabo!!

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Uyoy'sholo wena!
Inkomo kababa wena engabe wayiqhuba
washonisa ngaphi!
Engabe way'qhuba liphuma ilanga engabe
way'qhuba lishon'ilanga!
Uyoy'sholo wena!
Inkomo kababa wena way'qhuba way'shonisa
ngaphi!
Engabe way'qhubele empumalanga noma
way'qhubel'entshonalanga!
Uyoy'sholo wena! Igezile yathitshilo izofiki
inganono! “
My ears were buzzing my heart beating out of my
mouth this walk was very long my Knees were
shaking
Zoe : “ breath sisi “
Didy : “ you crushing my hand girl “
Did I listen no I was panicking I thought about
what I’m forced in too Marriage at 18th ? I
haven’t enjoyed life I haven’t seen the world what
going to happened to me what if this man abuse
me or treat me like how my uncle treat my
mother I felt a wave of anger no this right here
was fear I was not the smart brave girl I was
terrified girl who wised she was given time to

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grow brake few heart learn from few mistake
before expected to grow up to soon to be a wife
… a Queen I wanted to run way I wanted to
escape the noise was too much they really giving
me away oh how I wish my father was still alive at
this instant I hated everyone who called them
selves my family no body stood up or fought for
me every body thought that this was a good
arrangement and it will benefit the two families I
must be grateful that my uncle has negotiated
with a good wealthy family . I do not think my
feelings were conceded on this marriage
arrangement at all .
Zoe : “ come seat down love “
There was grass mat on the floor I set down did
not lift my head there was lot of movement in
front of me different shoes was the only thing I
could see I could hear camera flicking veli was
talking and she was placing things in frond of me
designer cloths boxes of shoes bags jewellery
there was blanket put over my shoulders another
placed on my legs I was suffocation … women
were busy with ululating only face I wish to see
was my mothers right now the singing started
again I’m guessing there done it was to noisy but

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that did not stop me from hearing my heart
thumping on my trout I was still left with a mini
blanket over my shoulder while our servants took
my gifts from the floor to be honest the gift giving
was a blear to me I saw lot of things being placed
in front of me but my ears and eyes were not
there
which did not slightly surprise me because with
arranged marriages you never have a fairy tale
wadding you do not plan you do not have an
opinion everything is not illustrated but planned
for you
my body was there but my head was miles away it
was just a nightmare . they call it an engagement
party but to me it felt like my funeral I sat on a
grass mat for hours facing down because with
zulu culture its not appropriate to look at your in
laws in the eyes most of my close relatives and in-
laws Kept admiring my beauty and how I’m going
to be the perfect “ MAKOTI “ they said I just
smiled as they kneeled down and whispered in my
ear.
I could hear my Uncle laughing like a clown I wish
I could stand up from this mat and take off this
doke and run to him and stab him while I was lost

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in thought in a plot on how to kill my father
I felt a lone tear escape shit just got real I’m
officially a Mnguni wife .
I was brought back to reality by there cheer that
shook the room raising my head will be conceded
disrespect so I looked at the floor I could feel that
my legs were numb now I have been sitting in the
same position for almost an hour now
Nwabisa :” do you want stretch your legs “
She was seating next to me I guess she saw how
uncomfortable I was
Me : “ please … “
Her : “asambe “ she stood up
Me : “ I think my legs are asleep now “
She giggled and helped me to get up I slowly
limped away from the eye that were looking at
me and the irritating camera snapping the minute
I was in the rondavel I breath out loud
Her : “ I knew that you were struggling to breath
sit right here I will get you food “
Me : is that even allowed ? “
Her : “ I don’t care … you were uncomfortable
back there besides the gift offering ceremony is
over so you my cuz you played your part “
Me : “ thank you “ I was about to take my blanket

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off
She stopped by the door “ make sure that you
cover yourself up if someone nocks or come in
especially your in-laws … “
Me : “really “
Her : “ it symbol of you being a young wife … “ I
huffed as she walked out .
Later on I was resting on the bed with a plate of
food on my hand eating Nwabisa was rubbing my
legs Dudu was busy telling us how good she looks
on all of the pic taken another girl was with us and
she was Friends of Dudu she was telling me how
beautiful my Husband is I brush that thought off
Dudu : “ ya mganai yo Mzala muhle mina I think
the white guy has a thing for me … imagine
getting married to a white guy “
Ok now im shocked did my snob cousin speak Zulu
right now
Nwabisa : “ yoh nikhuluma umageba uma
senikhuluma ngamadoda “
Dudu : “ aysuka … you two are taken some of us
we still need to show face to get inkomo zababa”
I laughed
“ mmmm girl he is hot “ she was so irritating with
this I was to tired to pay any attention to her loud

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mouths so I pretended to not hear a thing
I was about to dose off the way I was so tired
when we heard a nock on the door
Nwabisa : “ Sukuma .. “
We all scrambled up Dudu took my plate I quickly
jumped down took my blanket covered my
shoulders looked down
“ Sanibonani Zintombi “ she greeted
“ yebo ma “ the girls answered
“ May I have a word with Sibahle please “ she
asked I breath out loud at least it not my arranged
married to be hubby I did not look up but I
responded she requested in fact she commanded
the girls in the room to step out .
“ yebo mama” they said and walked out nerves
are killing me right now she was wearing a long
skit red and black sort of a xhosa attire with black
stiletto hills she sounded very polite well
mannered and her voice was soft she told Me she
is Makhumalo and she is happy to finally meet me

she told Me she is Makhumalo and she is happy to

finally meet me she advised me that my husband
to be will come in to see me
Her : “ ngiyabuya ngisayomulanda “ I heard her

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clicking sound of her heels as she walked out I
lifted my head to check the coast if it was clear
yep she was gone I decided to change my seating
position because I could feel my leg falling asleep
on me I lifted this heavy blanket away from my
shoulders I stood up and after some minute when
I realized that this so called husband to be is not
coming in I went to the window to take a pick on
what was happening outside it was still buzzing as
if it’s the actual wedding .
I could not believe my eyes when I saw him I
noticed him because the Makhumalo lady pulled
him aside from the crowd to talk to him he was
wearing a shirt that had the same Swati prints as
my skits white pants he was tall looked coloured
had long dreadlocks he was buffed up showed
that his friends with the gym pink lips sharp nose
he had a straight look and only side smile he was
intimidating no doubt ohh God … he was
handsome shame I must admit he looked young
maybe in his early 20ths I started crying I wish I
could run away and never come back from home
… I was not ready for this not now not ever this
guy terrified me I noticed that he was walking
towards my room I quickly jumped back to my

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mat covered my self and sobbed in silence . I
could feel his presence as he came closed
“ aaah hi “ his voice alone made the hair on the
back of my neck stand it was bold and deep I tried
to find words to say but there failed me so I
decided to nod
Him: zimbule gikubone ( reveal your self so I can
see you)
I was very reluctant to do so because I’m sure by
now my eyes are red because I was crying I slowly
lifted my head
Him: my name is Mvelo and you are ?"
I sad in almost a whisper
Me : I’m Sibahle … “ I stopped my self for
continuing I did not know if I should add “im
Sibahle baba or I’m Sibahle Ngonyama “
Him: ok its nice too meet you … you are truly
beautiful “ my eyes were still fixed on his shoes as
much as my head was lifted I was amazed on how
his voice filled my ear like the sound of base
gutter he smelled very good and I could notice by
the Italian shoes he had on that he was all about
money . there was silence in the room for a
moment so I decided to take pick at him our eyes
met hold up his eyes…. i don’t know there are

99 | P a g e
different shades unique colour I have never seen
such exotic looking eyes this man is oh my god I
hate to admit it HOT he ooze confidence and was
that a smile i saw his skin so polished he bit his
inner cheek ooh Father God that so Hot I quickly
looked away I could not believe that this man had
good futures his eyes were big and he had thick
eyebrows I stated to blush and I wish he could just
leave I must not feel like this I should not … its
arranged Sbahle I convince my self .
He cleared his trough oh shit I looked at him was I
suppose to do that oh God I just disrespected a
king
maybe I should apologize I know how traditional
royal people are .
Me : Im sorry “
Him : for ? “ he was speaking really close to me no
he is actually crouched in front of me
Me : I was not suppose to look at you . “
Him: how will you know the person that you
marrying if you do not look at him ? “
Wow I did not know if he was being sarcastic or
maybe just making a funny remark
That was my queue to just keep quite before my
mouth says something that will put me in hot

100 | P a g e
waters he cleared his trough I felt his hands on my
chin as he lifted my face to look him our eyes
locked I felt my stomach doing back flips I held my
breath thank god to my small eyes I could look
down without him noticing that I’m not looking at
him
Him : you have every right to be afraid of change
You may feel very secure in the pond that you are
in but if you never venture out of it you will never
know that there is such a thing as an ocean a sea.
All I see in your eyes is a person who over think
every expect that you have encounted Projecting
certain assumptions into certain situations can be
disastrous it’ll lead you towards developing a
defensive front or counter-attacking when no
concern may even be warrantee your pretty little
eyes tell me that you are your own worst enemy.
This may come as a bit of a shock and I hope it
does. But you are more powerful than you
possibly realize and your potential is limited by
only one factor:"
I finally found courage to look at him
Him : never be an enemy to you self not every one
is guning for you "
He stood up

101 | P a g e
Him : “ you have such beautiful eyes and there are
a window to your pain just like a mermaid has no
tears and yet she suffers so much more but her
beauty will not make us see her fears and pain ”
Him : “nice to meet you my wife ” he said to me I
nodded and I felt his presents fade as he walked
out he left me there thinking what just happened
who the hell did I merry he just saw through me
my walls were immediately knock down … what
just happened ?
.
.

Chapter 12

Sli ***
I got up from the bed changed sheets put on new
linen made my way to my bathroom took long
bath jumped out minutes later and wrapped
towel around my body I took a look at myself in
the mirror and notice that Trevor has left a trail of
love bites on my neck I had this moment of
touching myself and thinking about yesterday’s
event I immediately had a change of mood when I

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realised what today is I clicked my tongue and
walked out I jumped into my skinny jean and lose
shirt dragged my sleepers with a load of laundry
on my hand I found Nola on the high chair fixated
on her tab when she saw me she put the tab face
down ooh she probably looking at Trey pic of the
ceremony
Me : unjani "
Her : hi ... " I made my way to the laundry room
dump everything on the Washing machine poured
soap and tuned it on when I turned around Nola
was by the door
Her : are you OK .. "
Me : mmmm where is Zee "
Her : took her to mkhulu last night because her
father's car was still on driveway when we came
back from the mall I thought you two needed
more time to talk "
Me : mmm'
Her : sli are you OK..."
Me : yep im ok … “ I faked a smile
I took an apple and walked out
Her : Silindile Trey slept over last night and today
his getting married I know you not ok babe "
Me : Nola I'm fine ..."

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Her : Sli you slept with him ... Please talk to me
how are you how are you feeling let me in Sli we
walked this road together "
Me : “ Nola stop pushing please I don’t feel like
talking about Trey “
Her : “ for how long are you going to run hide
your feeling your heart you experience heart
break and I want to be there for you … so get out
“
Me : and say what?? that yet again another man
was able to walk over me and left me high and dry
! that I waited for this day to come and he
basically fucked me and left me in my bed ? what
must I say that I was stupid to follow fate and
destiny just to be served with “ I’m arranged to
marry someone else “ … you know what Nola I
don’t need you pity your shoulder to cry on ” your
it ok to cry” bullshit … and that look of pity you
giving me now “
Her : “it's not pity … I told your for years to find
him and tell him the truth if only you found him
earlier … we would have been speaking another
language now !! demit sli you don’t listen
Me : “ so its my fault that he dumped me ? “
She just looked at me

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Me : “ wow nola … just wow ! “
Her : “ I know you love him Sli and I still think
sleeping with him was wrong move … you can not
have closure of letting go if you just become
intermit with a person you love “
I looked at her she will never understand I see it in
her eyes that she wants to tell me to move on
Nola is feminist she believes that women don't
need a man to be happy she is right to a certain
extent truth be told I don’t need Trey to make me
happy but I need his to complete me
Me : “ look Nola as much as you think you
understand what I’m going trough you don’t “
Her :sli “ I just walked up to my room one thing
Nola has never experienced is to love she 25 years
old but she has never loved or has ever been in
relationship and she can not give me advisee
about matters concerning the heart.
You know to love wholeheartedly it will always
raises the question of how do you move on with
your life after losing the one you love the person
you thought you might grow old with?
It doesn’t matter how famous I may be right now
but i will still feel the hurt regret and despair at
seeing the person i still love marry and have

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children with someone else it's a bitter pill to
swallow. I have been through many extremely
painful things. Many But nothing was as painful as
a broken heart. I felt beyond lost.
But today I was not going to break down not in
front of no one I'm good at putting this face that
I'm OK while I'm hurting inside. Did that with my
first marriage allowed a man to walk all over me
abused me physically and emotional but stepped
out of the house the following day with makeup
on and smiled to the world as if I'm in happily ever
after marriage
I put on my kicks fix my weave tool my car Keys
and phone
Me: I'll go get Zee “
Nola breath in and out loudly feeling defeated as I
walked out the memories of trey inside me
soaked my panty liner I pressed my thighs
together the thought of last night lingers in my
head Trey Is the second guy I ever sleep with even
my dead husband never feed all my sexual desires
like how Zee dad did driving became difficult that
I packed aside and held my face " dahm you Trey "
I wiped my tears I stepped outside my car. I had to
think on what I must do God knows I can leave

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Trey maybe go to another country I have done
that before but now I Got Zee the glue between
me and him how can I move on when he will be in
my life forever . this alone infuriated me a bit his
wife will be in the picture visitation right will apply
joined custody my child will be bouncing from
county to country no stable life because her
parents are separated .
this was never the life I envision for my child God
why is my happiness feel so borrowed … it like I’m
given to only return it back because it was never
mine to keep
Those of us who have loved and lost are told to
‘move on’. Yes we must do just that but it takes
time and a lot of healing. We are brought up with
the belief and are told repeatedly that there is the
one special person out there for us. If we believe
we had found them and then lost them what does
that make of all the assurances we were given
Also we ask what does that say about ourselves
that we couldn’t even hang on to the one true
love in our lives?
After spending an hour in the middle of nowhere I
did that last break down wailed as I felt my heart
breaking in million pieces with that last big cry i

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realize that things weren't meant to be with Trey
and it'll all be OK eventually i may never fully get a
sense of closure about why it ended like this and
why I had a visions and dreams telling me to hold
on to him but at least i have some clarity at this
point... His married happiness is not for everyone I
guess
I finally start my car and drove to nearest chemist
" my I get a morning after pill "
Oh yes I'm not repeating another Zee situation
not this time around I learned my lesson after
taking my dose I took a drive to the beach and set
on the bench and looked at the waves I'm
tempted to check Trey social media but that alone
will drive me crazy its time I put my big girl panty’s
on and leak my wounds.
.
.
Trey ***
We were too tired to fly back home so we book
guest house not far from the Bhengu homestead
we left the Bhengu house very late and I was
happy to finally put a face to my wife she is
beautiful I must say her thick pouted lips small
chinese eyes high cheekbones She looks like a

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sweet little lamb from afar, She looks like a sweet
little lamb from afar but when you get close you
find out she skinned and ate the damn thing just
to use it as a coat. She’s a beast feisty fearless and
does not break easily she the most toughest
cookie I have ever seen she’s vivacious stand her
ground she may find hard to look me in the yes as
a sign of respect but I see the drive and ambition
in her Fear played a huge part in her life she
carries to much sorrow of her past and also of her
current situation she has been caged for years
that she forgot her true potential her wings are
colourful as her personality but she fears the
unknown am I in love with her ? no fam but i'm
intrigued she no push over and that alone makes
me want to step up to the challenge she will bring
.
Looking at her she reminds me so much of my
sister she looks down like a snake but when she
rise she will strike and it will hurt I shook my head
and laughed .
I kept holding on to my can of beer I could not
drink i'm still trying to calm down from the high
and low of being an official married man and I’m
happy to say that the ceremony was beautiful I

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looked at my loud friends and smiled Zoe Austin
and Mbali were drinking to them this was another
party to get sloshed and fool around but to me
this was my life changing day …
I stepped out of the room to think but found koko
sitting on the balcony fanning herself
Her : kuyashisa kulendawo and nani ninomusindo
" it was close to midnight
The stars were clear but the weather made it feel
like there is sun up in the sky KZN is very warm
especially in summer nights feel like days as well
Me ; there is an air-conditioning inside "
Her ;_hayi suka I rather enjoy this breeze "
I nodded
Her : thank you my son"_
I looked at her
her : I know getting married at 22 years was not
part of your plan "
Me : “ or being a king “ she laughed and
continued to fen herself
her: you know i never chose her for you “
me : “what ? … I don’t understand “
her : you two were arranged to marry while she
was still a fetus in her mother womb"
Me : what ? “

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" when the war started and we lost everyone I ran
to the caves but Khwezi located me and I ran
again the only way to survive was to exiled from
home so I ran south she did not stop hunting me
down she wanted me dead because I was the only
person who has seen the vision of the new
kingdom where you will rule … the prophecy was
said long time ago about you and the death of
royal blood but no one believed that a women will
spill the royal blood leaving no one to survive “
I looked at her KOKO hates talking about the past
she said that it too painful for her to replay it in
her head she said that she has see people get
killed in the most cruel manner she hates that she
survived to tell the tale of what happened to our
family .
Her :weeks turned months in hiding and running I
had no food no clothes and nothing to drink I
scavenged eating anything that moved to keep my
strength by then I had no clue that Knosiyesizwe
survived or not all I knew is that every white lion
that roamed the land was short dead I had no one
I was alone I hide … ran …hide… ran till one day I
just gave up I was in foreign lands and I was
starving haven’t eaten for days and I could not

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keep my eyes open I remember trying to get up
but it was a mission and light went dark for me I
woke up on an unfamiliar surrounding but the
warm smile of Nontombi reassure me that I'm
safe I stayed for two years with them and they
were good people and I felt like I belonged but
the Mnguni fallen kings came to me in a dream
and told me to return home as Queen it was my
duties to go back home to my people leaving this
place was hard because I had no clue what await
me back home when I hugged Nontombi on my
day of departure I felt and sense a soul inside of
her but she also had dark cloud over her and the
unborn baby “
Me : “ no ! koko uthini ? “
She nodded
Bhekumuzi Bhengu rescued me hide me in his
home for years he was king and he knew about
the Massacre of the Innocents that was
happening in the far East in our land he told me
that he had a dream about me and him finding me
was not buy luck but the Bhengu ancestors lead
him to where I was “
I was lost I felt like my knees were shaking
Her : Before I left He told me when she turns 18 I

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must come and get her she the only leaving royal
blood that carries the strength of the Oshun “
Me : “ ooh GOD ! … she is one of gogo Ndoni’s
descended .. “
Her : her destiny lays in my hand I didn't know
what he meant about that till you came back
home and the dreams started "
Me : so the Bhengu help you "
She nodded
Her : not only me but you and your sister
spiritually I’m connect with you if khwezi captured
me she was going conjured my spirit to locate you
you would have died without fulfilling your
purpose ... You are the last descendent of the lion
blood ...and you need Sibahle she is the last
leaving river orisha or goddess your blood and
hers will need to infuse again like Ndoni and
Somdali did “
I nodded
Her : I know you love Sli .. She is the mother of
your child but will never survive the lion throne ...
"
Me: but she also said something about destiny
that kept her away from me it was supposed to be
four years but her grandfather forced her come "

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She stood up and looked at me
Her : blood moon will rise again in a months times
remember what the fallen kings told you about
the moon ? "
Me : " blood moon means huvest time when king
is born “
She shook her head “ not that … what else “
Me : blood moon will bring purity fertility love and
sensuality for a king to be born "
I looked at her and popped my eyes
Her : mmmm looks like destiny is broken and not
fulfilled that why a mate can never seat in the
throne trust me I know I was never a chosen one
but your grandfather' mate … the throne is to
powerful for me to handle that why I almost died.
. . it was never my place “
Me : “ koko are you trying to say “
Her : OMnguni banolaka Mvelo ... It's time you
understood the importance yeziyalo zedloti … "

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Chapter 13

Sbahle ***
Sleeping with Zim was mission this girl kicks and
snores yes my friend showed up last night and I
was so happy we talked till late and they clicked
with Didy I was disappointed that non of my
siblings came but oh well the only thing that made
us family was dad I guess to them I'm just another
long distance relative ...
Apparently being Mvelo fiancé got me trending I
hate the public eye and now I got people
following me on social media some people are
hating on me some are just too nice and fake I
guess that my new life .
I woke up early because of my sleeping conditions
I did my hygiene process and made my way out of
the bedroom. The house was quite thanks God. I
was not looking forward in smiling and greeting
the only Good thing that this man ever done was
to build his other house away from my fathers
that where he spend most of his time .
I was to lazy and tied to watch TV so I played
music and my father Jimy Dludlu cd started
playing I smiled to my self as I thought about the

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good time i had with my father I was on the couch
going trough my pics at shame I looked hot
yesterday i still can't believe it me.
I must have fallen asleep because I found my self
being hit by a cold breeze I rubbed my shoulders I
was in my fathers art gallery I walked around
touching his paintings admiring u stopped when
saw one painting that looked like me I had braids
on my face looked sad Mvelo was behind me and
his back was facing me he was hugging someone I
cold only see her arms and hands Mvelo broad
shoulders were hiding her face the painting was
dark and spoke volumes ...I ran my hands on it the
girl in the picture looked like me but was so sad
Him : sana lwami ... "
I turned and looked behind me
Me : baba Ka Sbahle "
Him : you are a women now a wife "
Me : I'm not ready baba I'm so scared "
Him: "im proud of the young women you turned
out to be "
I started crying
Him : its OK baby I'm always with you ..."
Me : he sold me baba ungidayisile for his riches
baba Ka Sbahle ... "

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He held my face
Him : ...Mnguni is good man ... He was chosen for
you trust him and stop this hate you have over my
brother its weighing down on you "
Me : kodwa baba"
He shook his head
Him : don't be your own enemy and carry other
peoples burden live for Sbahle now uyinkosazane
yaka Bhengu and soon to be indlovukazi yaka
Mnguni "
Me : I'm scared baba "_
Him : because you confined by the walls you have
build around yourself Mntanami I understand and
trust me it totally makes sense why you did it but
it’s not always worth it. If you allow yourself to let
loose and trust yourself and others you’ll find
some of the deeper parts of yourself."
Me : I don't know how to love baba Ka Sbahle "
Him : follow your heart stop listening to your
stubborn head..."
I smiled and looked down
Him : I'm proud of you my child you are so
blessed... one day you will realise that ...I love you
so much "
Me : ungahambi ngiyakucela "

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Him : angiyindawo ... " He pulled me into a hug
and I felt so worm I heard someone calling my
name ... " Sbahle Mani " I opened my eyes it was
Didy she was standing in front of me
Me : yini ?"
Her: just wake up will you ?"
Me : did you have to scream that loud kodwa ? "
She rolled her eyes and pulled me by the hand I
hate that look she is up to something
She dragged me up the stirs
Me: where we going ?
Her : Come and see " she took me to the second
floor she opened the balcony sliding door
we stood their and looking outside
Me : so what am I looking at vele ? " i saw cars
parked by the royal BnB with few guys sitting
there "_:
Zim : jonga mtasi he’s here" she had a bowl of
food in her had this girl and food kodwa
Me : bani ?"
zim : your future bae"
My mouth just dropped what the fuck is he doing
here ?
Didy: looks like they did not leave he is so cute
look at him ? "

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Me: uphi ? I see lot of people"
Didy : well he is somewhere in the mix
SHe giggled and I playfully hit her
Me : so why so many cars ? what happening ? Are
they having a party "
zim : its looks like it's you engagement after party
and he bought the most cutest guys ever ... Ooh
mtasi I so love you right now "
She laughed . I did not find that amusing at all
how could she say such a thing
Zim: hawu kutheni sisi ? why now with that face?
I sat down
Me : why do I have to marry that guy why me out
off all the royal girls in this country he chose me
?"_
Didy : why not you did you see how hot you are
you too look so good together lalela ... Stop this
pity party you playing because umguni
usekuthathile "
I looked at her and we laughed Dudu might be
very odd but she always makes me laugh and
make feel super ok
Zim : so lets freshen up and go to the mall and buy
ice cream "
Didy : as all as you buying "

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Zim: money ithi tata kumi dali "
We bust out and laughed
Me : where is Nwabisa ?
Didy : i don’t know but she left her car maybe uka
gogo"
I rolled my eyes and I went to take a shower while
Dudu and Zim stood by the balcony this two
bayawathanda amadoda they can't even see
whose there but there amused by the fancy car’s
and how good the guys looked "_
After I took a shower an lotion my self I gathered
my strength to do my hair well I got long hair but
mom decide I put a weave on its long black thick
and curly have no clue what to do with it I just let
it be decided to wear black skirt with slit on the
side black and white long sleeve top black kicks
i knew the girls will take forever to finish so I went
to the kitchen and made my self a sandwich . . I
wanted to get out of here the house was
suffocating me and this hair was irritating I could
not shake the dream I head it felt so real the pain
and hurt I wonder if I will love Mvelo and he will
turn around and brake my heart by being with
another women or does he has another women
already the fucked up thing about arranged

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marriage is that there is no transparency ... So I
may be getting my self into drama and heartache
nje ... I sigh
Dudu : OK asambe "
Me : yoo you look too fashionable to be seen with
me in public " she just looked at me
Zim showed up talking to her phone and when
she looked at me
Zim: got an emergency to attend too will talk
later"_ she dropped the call
Zim: uqokeni ?"
Oh God not this again
Me : I'm not changing already I'm forced to wear a
skirt because my in-laws are still in town so zip it
nje "
Didy : sisi wami il teach you few things about
fashion
I just gave her a bored look
Didy :
1st – never leave the house like you going ema”
simini “
2nd – never wear clothes just to cover your body
3rd –you must learn dress an make a statement –
usleye sisi !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zim : yes girl " they high five

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Me : I don't care angilahli angicoshi ... Besides my
husband use Khethile khethile ..."
Zim : I feel sorry for this man kodwa "
We all laughed
Me : can we go before I change my mind "
I went to a garage and started the car the girls
forced me to put shades on but I just used them
to move my hair from my face
I love my moms car. It big manly black and so sexy
its always a pleasure to drive bmwX6 SUV it just
makes me look and feel powerful .
Dudu : hawu come on girl stop doing that to your
hair "
Me : aish awume dudu iyashisa lento " I was
scratching my head like a mad women and this
hair was so irritating we drove off lucky the
guards did not give us any hustle the old royal
house across the road looked like they still
enjoying left over food and booze from yesterday
Dudu : mtasi lets take a shot left ngaka nxumalo
Me : no ways "
Him : come on Sisi just to take a pick kuma guys
alaphaya"
Me : guys I'm not going by Nxumalo BnB ... No!"
Zim : come on friend ... Its crowded and nobody

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will notice us"
Well if they don't know when I say no is no today
they will know I drove to the mall I looking at my
friends all grumpy and I just laughed I finally
packed at the mall
Zim : uyabhora shame Mgani "
Me : you promised me ice creams " I jumped out
of the car with the car Keys I almost fainted when
I bumped into some one...it a chest .... No ... Not
that smell... his cologne
Can it be my husband ... No I left him behind ... I
was to nervous to raise my head shit do I even
look decent to be in public ? Ooh crap my had
scarf ... And the bloody Blunkett ... Why did I leave
the house I could hear my heart beat no no it his
he is standing right in front of me I stepped back
looking down it sign of respect right
maybe just maybe he will not make a big deal out
of my behavior his hands were on his pocket he
was warring black jeans black top hold up his
walking on foot ...I looked up I noticed that this
was no top but muscle t-shirt his hair was lose
thick and full of life he smiling and I could see a
trace of dimples I looked in his eyes and I got lost
I'm not sure if there hazel mix with grey and light

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brown colour they hypnotizing I felt dizzy by
looking at him it was not helping that his thick
eyebrows with eyelashes that could cover you
from the rain was also on show he had big eyes
looked a bit lazy to open them today his smile
widen and i could see heaven oh God is there
anything wrong with lomuntu he has the most
beautiful smile i ever seen his teeth white and his
dimples complimented him .
Him : hi "
Me : hello
..

Chapter 14

Mvelo /Trevor
Trey ****
I looked on social media and notice that my soon
to be wife got followers now her life is going to be
turned upside down some were hating on her and
some loving her pics of Umemulo ceremony she
got beautiful body I must admit ... I looked her
wearing isidwaba and lot of beads that was

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suppose to hide her breast but i could tell she had
perfect cups
I smiled and looked at her other pics yep
I'm kind of stoking her I must say she's too boyish
I like that she does not do the smile thing that
girls do when they take pic take numerous pics
just to have that perfect one she will post my girl
here does the opposite
she just do a lot of crazy and funny face got me
laughing to my self I noticed that she's also not
that much of a phone user because she is hardly
on line and never talks ... Its like she is living under
a rock. I look at her number again and stop my
self from dialing it was already after mid night and
she got me wishing to here her voice ..
I just wish I could just have a few minute
conversation with her she is too shy and believes
in the laws of our tradition I wish she can be free
around me judging from this pics i see I can tell
she's funny and a breath of fresh air she is
different from the girls I have been with she is a
beautiful tomboyish kind of girl no wander Zoe
likes her she more of her type.
I'm eager to know her on personal level . I don't
know when sleep came but I was woken up by

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loud laughter
I kissed my peaceful sleep goodbye as I waited for
my door to open and boom the door swung open
and Menzi and Nkonzo walked in
Menzi jumped me in my bed and hugged me is
this guy crying ? For crying out loud?
Him :congratulations my boy .."
Me : what are you guys doing here "
Nkonzo : to light a cigar and say congratulations
for getting the girl "
Me : what " he also hugged me
" don't light up a cigar to new Dad's the man just
got engaged all ready you foresee a baby in his life
" Bright walked in I dropped my mouth now that's
the guy I got to jump and hug
Me : I thought you in Miami "
" and miss this.... fuck Miami " he said his even
taller then me now
Menzi : I can't believe we race here "
Nkonzo : and I worn ... Ngicela ibhodlela lami "
Menzi : you basically cheated you riding a bike it
doesn't count '
Nkonzo : you said who ever get here last
izoncolisa itafula bike or car so pay up ""
Menzi : Bright you heard the man sorry "

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Bright : how did you expect i race guys you forgot
that i was in wheelchair for year because of car
accident how do you expect I race without fear "
I laughed seeings this guys in one room made me
grateful of the company that i keep even though I
know Mbali is behind it all she said it in passing
last night and looks like she made it happened
Honest fact I was shocked and excited last time
we gathered like this was on my birthday last year
and we partied for a month ... And that Got me in
deep waters with my Uncle after...
Mbali bought breakfast and told me that Austin
Gogo and mama are at the royal house something
to do with a meeting regarding the ceremony to
be held in few days time koki says its waist of
money and want the Bhengu to agree to infuse
that with the royal wedding I have no say in this
stuff so I truest her and mama.
Menzi : she is hot bro "
They were looking at Sbahle pic on my phone
Nkonzo : and looks like the Memulo pics are in the
net now ...she's got followers "_
Bright : nami I want an arranged wife bro. I would
not mind waking up next to lips like that every
morning "_

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Menzi : you know what they say about women
with thick lips ... They swallow it whole "
Bright : ooh brother that just gave me Bonner "
Me : Bright kuzonyiwa you can't be holding my
phone and talking shit about my wife fuck off
bring back my phone "
Bright : you know you got a women right there
that will make you want to do sex tape with her
and give it to your friends just to show off "
They all bust out and laugh
Zoe : OK boys enough about the Mrs Mnguni ....
Really is that how you see her just a sex object "
Zoe walked in wearing white track pants and vest
Menzi : mpintsi yami "
They hugged and she greeted every one else
Bright nudge me " who is she ..."
Me : my little sister don't touch her husband
shoots first and ask question later "
Bright : I don't care ... I don't mind taking a bullet
for such beauty "
Zoe waved her ring at him
Zoe : find your own ..." She took mbali plate and
walked back to her room "
Mbali : Trey I told you I will make it happens step
out and pay me my money _I heard car tires

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spinning and lot of whistling
Me : fuck no "
I ran out and yep it was the one and only my
brother in law Sbu spinning his Red Gti
"
Him : Pretty boy " he said jumping out of his car it
true what they say you may rehabilitate a guy but
you can't take the gangster our of him he looked
like your typical tsotsi boy from elokshini
Me : I hate that name "
Him : I know" we bro hugged and he wished me
congratulation
Him : told this fools I'm going to the Bay to skinny
deep and they followed me hope you don't mind "
It was Two other car I heard Zoe scream OK its
Langa Zoe husband and his brother Banz
The Dlamini boys with big cars damn really we
took the chill session outside This guys were loud
and now I fear what my in-laws will say about the
company I keep .
Zoe and Langa decided to go to the beach
Sbu car was pumping loud deep house music
cooler box and booze everywhere its not even
14:00 and already it part for days ..
I sent a text to Austin that he must take koko and

129 | P a g e
Mama to the hotel showed him a pic of situations
and he agreed ...
I jumped into a shower later on took quick bath. I
decide to were black cargo pants and muscle T-
shirt while I was looking for my socks my phone
ringing
" sir inkosazana iyaphuma manje "
I had bribed one of the Bhengu Guards to update
me with any move that Sbahle will take I was not
planning on leaving this place without engaging
with her
Me : uthi uyaphi ? "
Him ; ezitolo ... " Shit! I ran out and stood by the
road when i notice that her car was not driving
this side I ran back to the yard
Me : shit "
Bright : smoko "
Me : iFro just left her house ... "
I jumped into Sbu car that was playing music and
bright jumped in
Menzi : and then ?
Me : I coming back "_ spread off
Bright : is she driving that beast "
Me : I guess so becaouse number plate is
personalised as Ma Bhengu "

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She changed lane and pass other car wow this
Lady drives crazy
Him : I like her already "
I gave him a look
Him : what I like her for you ... She is my friends
wife after all " I followed her and she drove
straight to the mall she packed and I packed
behind her i brushed my face with my hands and
stepped out when I was about to knock on her car
window she stepped out she looked so cute on
her outfit she is showing a bit of skin as well she
was laughing and bumped into my chest i just
dropped my mouth open I taught I was imaging
thing but my expression was much better then
the girls with her they were totally drooling
Girl 1: ohhh my God his so hot ! " :
Girl2 shoooooooooooooooo!!! Don't spoil the
moment “
I could hear them as the spoke but the
intoxicating smile and beautiful girl before me
who looks flawless with no make up
Girl 1: ohhh my God his so hot ! " :
Girl2 shoooooooooooooooo!!! Don't spoil the
moment “
I could hear them as the spoke but the

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intoxicating smile and beautiful girl before me
who looks flawless with no make up she smell of
fruit you know that girly smell Chanell no 5
perfume she was looking down she noticed my
feet since I ran out of the house with no shoes on
she slowly rose her head it was the most sexiest
thing to look at slow motion it felt like I was
looking at her for the fist time hold up I was infect
she literally took my breath ways her mesmerizing
beauty she has small eyes with thick lashes that
made it look so exotic her pink pouted lips so juicy
My words could not describe this angel in front of
me she finally looked at me and for the fist time i
saw how her eyes looked like there were the most
sexiest thing ever seen I think I'm addicted to
them I looked at her as she moved the hair from
her face she did the frown with her mouth and
that alone made me smile she stepped back from
me and I finally breath in and out and found
courage to say
“ hi “
Her : “ hello “
Ok that how her voice sounds like it a bit husky
and very soft she looked down and blushed she
too beautiful My Queen the women I will pledge

132 | P a g e
my inter life too I could not have ask for any
better way to meet her this felt like me meeting
her for the fist time
Me : how are you Sbahle “
She could not look at me she wanted the ground
to swallow her I was not moving from here till we
can finally engage on a topic or something
Her : “ ngiyaphila “
She bit her lower lip
Me : so you not going to ask me how I’m doing ? “
Her : “ oh ! im sorry … how are you doing … ? “
Me : “ nami ngiyaphila … “
I stood there trying to think what to say next I
studied her body language and respect her
personal boundaries there is no reason to come
off as creepy but I so wish that her small eyes can
just look at me one more time . The most
important thing I can do is to be respectful and
follow her lead now Walking up to a girl you’ve
never spoken to before is like taking a dip in an icy
water It makes you nervous. But as a guy knowing
how to approach a girl is one of the most
important things to know in the dating world but
I'm fuckin married to this girl so one way or the
other we need talk

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Girl 1:wow look who's blushing that must be a
good sign "_
Sbahle looked at her bored yep my wife got
attitude
Girl 1 : hi my name is Dudu but you can call me
Didy "
She extended her hand for a hand shake
Me :ooh hi " shook the hand briefly
Didy : wow your hands you have a tight grip do
you work out ?"
I looked at this girl almost clicking my tongue and
wish she could just stop with his nonsense
Sbahle :Didy please …."_
Me : nop I woke up like this “ I said dismissing her
I looked at Sbahle and side smiled she blushed
and looked away
" I'm Zimkhithi "
Me : oh OK" I was getting bord can't I get just one
moment with Sbahle without this fly I'm sure my
face was evidence that I'm annoyed
Bright came to my rescue the minute they
recognized him they went gaga on him
Zim girl " ooh my God Dj Bright "
Him : in the flash Nana " the screamed
And walked to him I breath out loud as in sigh of

134 | P a g e
relief
I hate girls who are forward and they were making
Sbahle uncomfortable
I folded my hands and looked at her
Me : so ... I kinda of follow you here ...and I must
say you drive like you running from cops or
something "
She lifted her head to look at me OK I love how
her face looks right now
Her : I do not ..."
SHe laughed I felt butterfly’s in my stomach at
least we getting to that chat now
Me : I don't know ... I even forgot to put on my
shoes running after you "
She giggled wow she really has a beautiful set of
teeth and that one big smile for minute there you
could not tell she had small pouted lips
Me : wow she smile well I guess my work is done
here "
She shook her head
and our eyes locked
Bright : guys you will meet us inside "
zim and didy walked with him and Sbahle looked
at there direction
I stood by her car resting my back on it i looked at

135 | P a g e
her
Me : well that out of the way so uyaphi mkami
with this two ?" She did the face and I found
myself laughing ...
.
.
To be continued

Chapter 15

Sbahle
.
So here I was standing next to my so called
husband who forgot his shoes while running after
me konje why is he running after me vele ? Also
I was not sure what he meant about why I'm here
or why his calling me " mkami " aint we jumping a
gun a bit he is too casual about us and this
arranged thing we in while I debate on how must i
put my guard down I have never had a one on one
session with a guy before
I see his mouth moving his talking and laughing I
pretend as if I'm listening I still do know what

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expected of me
where do we start with this chat his in forcing
what must I really do ? he all ready laughed at me
when I give him my confused face well I have no
control of that it just in my nature nje I do this
faces when I laugh confused thinking or just being
silly I hate it when people look at me and tell me
how beautiful I am so I prevent such comments by
pulling a face. His starring again and I don't know
what his look is doing to me but I end up looking
down Mvelo is young but he carries an aura of a
grown man I'm not sure if its because of his tittle
of being a king or what ? Or maybe there is more
to that I'm not peaking up his very traditional this
beads on his Wrist and sea shells.
Him : you drifting away again ... Why you traping
your self in your own head I'm right here why
don't you ask me anything so we can get this ball
rolling "
I'm tongue tight right now shit I hate this
Me : may I please seat down " I finally say we
have been standing next to my mothers car for a
while now I feel like I will should strike a
conversations with him should be seated I'm
already disrespecting him for standing and looking

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him in his exotic eyes.
Him : sure ... I'm really sorry you want to sit in the
car or should we go inside "
I look at his feet and he bust out and laugh
throwing his head back his top is lifted and I see
his Ck briefs and this V-line on his lower waist his
really muscling I found my self feeling
uncomfortable.
Him : you can see I have no shoes on can we at
least seat in the car I'll order something to eat or
drink or better yet will go to drive trough "
I nodded I opened the car but he stood in front of
the door jizz what now ?
Him : let's use my car please "
OK its officially he controlling I nodded and he
open the passenger door for me of his car and I
looked at him closely as he ran to the drivers side
yoo muhle yena sexy buffed up and too arrogant
yaah I notice the way he dismissed Didy and Zim
he was rude yebo there are annoying but let me
be the one to put them in there place not him I
felt his hand on my thighs oh no he didn't
Him :been calling you ..."
I looked at hand on my thigh and at him.
He removed his hand shook his head wow his

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annoyed he even has one eyebrow raised cute but
I could tell his pissed
Him : Sibahle again I'm right here can you at least
try to talk to me then to that little person in your
head "
Did he just indirectly call me a psychopath ?
Him ; OK maybe its me I'm doing something
wrong ... yini am I boring you ?"
I looked down if I disrespect him now who knows
what he will do now ooh god help me now I rose
my head and looked at him and smiled
Me : I have never done this ... Mnguni I'm really
sorry you being here next to me is a bit
uncomfortable "
Him : wow say that again " he was smiling from
ear to ear hold up what did I do ?
I pulled my upper lip up and he laughed
Me : uxolo angisiswanga uthi uMnguni
angiphindeni "
He brushed his well streamed bead
Him : my brother in-law once telled me that being
called by yo clan name or surname by a women is
just a beautiful feeling ... I like it "
I breath out loud ooh that silly of me
Him : and Sbahle try to relax I don't bite and I'm

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not clued up about tradition and laws of arranged
marriage right now I'm just a guy trying to talk to
a women I'm arranged to spend my life with so
please don't be afraid to be your self "
I nodded its either his genuine about with this or
its a trap I'm just going to keep my guard up for
now till I know fore sure
Him :Two Chicken grilled foldover 2 big Mac with
extra cheese ..." He was ordering for the two of us
did he ask me what I want to eat No ! He only
asked if I'm allergic to anything next thing we in
drive trough ordering for me haybo will I ever
have a say in this relationship?
Him : I hope you don't mind I orders for you "
Me : its OK " fuck yeah I mind ...but I can't even
pin point anything that I don't like in here I will let
this slide for now .. Just because he ordered my
favorite food .
We drove out a parked at the bay looking at the
sea I felt very calm I could breath the feeling I
have right now its so amazing I don't know why I
have this strange relationship with water
He looked at me smiled
Him : come " I opened the door an we set on the
car bonnet the sea breeze got me closing my eyes

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and taking it all in I felt like hamming a song I felt
so alive .
Him : so tell me who's Sbahle "
I laughed this time around I was not faking at all I
was relaxed
Me : that a direct question "
Him : shoot me for wanting to know about my
Queen " the awkwardness that we had few
minutes back was gone. I found my self relaxed as
ever “Guess it’s time for 20 questions” i joked and
he laughed as well conversation was flowing even
forgot that I'm arranged to marry him
What was he doing charming me by asking about
my future gaols my friends my interests what I did
for fun? Telling me funny stories about his life in
the UK? I had always maintained that I would
prefer any other country to the UK. It was too far
from everyone I knew too familiar and alien all at
once. But after eating a ton of food with him it did
not seem so inconceivable. This was going
seriously sideways. I was actually enjoying myself.
Him : my home is in the Ngonyama village but
would spend most of my time in the UK so since
you wish to study Law how about you attend the
best university in the UK "

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I did take Zoe advise and thought of studying Law
even did a survey on my self trying to check if it
the right career path to my shock it was But to
decide the rest of my life should unfold I cab not
say yes to anything now o can make life changing
decision based on one meeting i just had with my
future husband it will seemed unfair to me beside
I was the one who would have to leave my home
my family and everyone I knew. I was the one
who would have to change cities countries and
hemispheres.
Me : I don't know ..."
Him : you first need to see my home And you can
make a decision there after how is that ? "_
I just nodded
The day was interrupted by my phone ringing it
was Nwabisa my heart skip a bit Nwabisa is
straight as an an arrow and act like our mother
Her : ukuphi ? "
She mad she I shouting
Me : I'm in the mall "
Her : get your ass here your father wants talk to
you"
Me : his not my father !"
Her : this not the time to argue get here now!!"

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She dropped the phone on me I sigh and looked
Mveli he had a concern look
Him : are you ok "
Me: yes I am ... I'm sorry but a have to go "
Him : come let's go wash you feet ' I had to take
off my shoes as well so we can walk on the sea
sure the feeling of his hands washing my feet felt
so soft he took of his T-shirt and wiped my feet his
body is sculptured ooh his chest big and broad he
has tattoo of lion head on his left shoulder
Him : you like it ? " I smiled and nodded
I can't believe I just touched his shoulder
Me : why a lion heard "
Him : its represent the beat inside of me "
I was confused about his response but something
in me told me his one with lion it was in his way
he looked at me right now I just melted
Him : this feels like a Cinderella story when the
clock strike midnight you have to go hone "
Me : the only twisted part is that I'm not leaving
my shoes behind "
He laughed and we walked back to the car I asked
him to drive he asked why and told him got mad
love for sport cars
Him : you sure you not Zoe twin sister "

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I laughed
Him : you two are so alike "
Me : funny because she said that as well "
We laughed I like Zoe too she just the kind if
person I will hang out with driving a Gti with this
horse power I was tempted to speed off
Him : I'm too young to die and we still need to
make babes slow down please" I laughed and
speed off the minute I parked he jumped out
catching his breath
Me : you ok "
He just waved a hand at me holding on his knees i
texted Didy that I'm in parking
Him : may I please see you tomorrow "
I looked down and nodded. What started as bed
day turned our to be lot of fun we hugged OK that
awkward moment came again
Didy : zim is drunk and I think bright fuck her the
toilet so nje I'm pissed "
Bright : you know we could have had three some "
Didy gave him a finger
Bright : love you too Nana I will marry you you
watch and See "
Zim : what ?"
Bright : you'll be me side snack "

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Me : Zimkhithi asambe thank you light ... For
hanging with them"
Bright : its Dj bright everybody knows me "
I rolled my eyes " well I don't but thank you any
way "
Mvelo bust out and laughed w
Bright : you know you to deserve each other "_I
gave him the face like what ever we all got in the
car Mvelo placed his elbows on my window his
too close I could feel his breath on my face
Mvelo : thanks for today "
I just smiled " thank you too "
Him : safety first "_he pulled the seatbelt and
strap me all along I was holding my breath
Him : I'll call you later pick up ok "
I nodded he step back after saying goodbye and i
drove off he just stood there looking at me drive
away"
Didy must be really pissed she never keeps quite
this long we found Nwabisa on the gate walking
up and down " nivelaphi ?" She jumped in the car
she was shouting and I was so tired for her drama
when we walked inside the house we found my
Aunts and my Mon on the sitting room "
Nwabisa : siyaxolisa ukubuya ngalesisikhathi we

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misplace the car keys ..."
Mom laughed way to go Nwabisa that was not
convincing and why is she saying we unless she
wanted to use us as her decoy as well
.
.
to be continued ...
.

Chapter 16

Sbahle ***
I just enters my room after telling Zim how
disappointed I am with her and she was not drunk
just tipsy she told me that she did not sleep with
the Dj but they bamboozled around trying to
make Didy jealous Because she was playing hard
to get and the Dj really liked her I wanted to
believe that so much but my friends track record
with man is giving me doubt to this statement I
took off my shoes I set on my bed and touched
my foot and toes
" do you even use this to walk with "
" why do you say that ? "

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" you got beautiful soft feet and Legs " he ran his
hands on my leg
I smiled replaying that moment in my head I
looked at my toes and smiled I still can not shake
the fact that I had half naked man crouching
before me wiping my feet with his t-shirt wow
that something you only see in movies was I
flattered oh fuck yes I felt like the princess that I
really man .
There was something about his Tattoo that
captivated me that tattoo kind off spoke to me in
some kind of way I found myself touching it it
made me see a glimpse of who Mvelo is I smiled
thinking about today the way he paid attention to
my every move kind moved me is some kind of
way .
" mmmm my baby is smiling to herself .. Should I
be worried " mom said standing by my bedroom
door
Me : you so dramatic maka Sbahle "
Her : if you say so ... Come help me with supper "
I frowned
Her : woza and stop pulling your face at me "
I put on my sleepers and followed her
Her: baby today we had a long meeting with the

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Mnguni "
I continued to grate carrots as she spoke
Her : Dlomvukazi says that the wedding is mid
December "
I looked at her that in like two / three weeks from
now
Her : I'm worried baby "
Me : mama that too soon "
Her : they is a lot you still do not know about
being a wife or even being a Queen baby how am
I going to teach you all of this thing in short period
? “ she stooped what she was doing and set down
My mother worried that she had brought me up
too leniently. She had encouraged me to study
abroad travel and live a life different from hers.
She hoped it wouldn’t backfire now. She was
asking me to consider the conventional institution
of marriage topped off with the traditional
customs of the arranged marriage.
My mother pointed out that she knows that the
Ndlovukazi is a good women she prays that her
grandson took after her she told me she had met
with Mvelo Gran years back she had met her
through my father and she believes this arranged
marriage was orchestrated by my father years ago

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. Everything she said was making sense they paid
my uncle a fortune for him to agree in my hand in
married my uncle did state that he doesn’t know
how the Mnguni knew about me or my existence
but were willing to pay a fortune for me but why
?.
Her : Adulthood involved hard changes I'm sorry
baby you have to go through this at this young
age you in “
Me : I guess it life " I said in law voice nothing
surprises me anymore about decisions that are
taken about my life without my consent Ill just lay
low and take the blows for now only God knows
when will I ever rise from this .
I was deep in thought and did not realise that I
was cocking a storm Looks like I took over my
mother's kitchen because I was the only one
cooking now she was to emotional and talking
non stop about her doubts and fears of this
arranged marriage
Her : I wish I can have a talk with that boy “
Me : “ his a king maka Sbahle and you know very
well that our laws forbids that a mother in-law to
have private meetings with the daughters
husbands and worse his also king " She nodded

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thoughtfully .
if I did not spend time with Mvelo today I would
be thinking of running for the hills but he looks
like a good guy but i can not base that on just one
meeting I had with him There are no guarantees
of success or failure to this arranged agreement . I
understand my mother concern she will not be
there I will be alone she wish she could give me
her wisdom perseverance heart and knowledge of
out customs .
In the end I decided to put my faith in myself I’m
not a failure not a pushover I got power to rise in
every situation I'm faced with at the end of it all I
need to rely on me.
After cooking I dish up and set the table I was not
hungry so I faked a headache and went to my
room I took a shower I just washed my body and
my mind took a wrong turn I started thinking
about Mvelo his captivating eyes and smile and
the way his face is always serious the guy never
laughs his funny no doubt but focus and sombre
he commands respect when he speak and that
alone makes me worry about how I will control
my opinionated mouth .
So here I was taking a shower because I could not

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drown myself in the tub due to this fake hair in
my head why do women put this shit on vele ? I
clicked my tongue and tried to enjoy taking a bath
standing which was very impossible I closed my
eyes pictured the ocean but I saw powerful
waterfall instead
“ you are ready never doubt yourself you Born to
be a Queen Everything you want is on the other
side of fear."
This voice echoed I shoot my eyes open looked
around it was not familiar voice but it was a
female voice i opened the sliding door trying to
see who is in the room with me but notice that I
was all alone I jumped out took a bathrobe and
rushed to my bedroom attending to my phone
that was ringing my favorite song got me singing
to it before I could answer
~~~
Shitted on 'em
Man I just shitted on 'em
Shitted on 'em
Put your number two's in the air if you did it on
'em
All these bitches is my sons ~~~
Me : hello “

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“ hay … did I call at the bed time ? “
Aagg ! its Mvelo made a promise to call back and
he did ok tick for keeping a promise
Me : “ no I just got out of the shower right now “
Him : “ ooh hope you did not trip trying to answer
my phone call “
I rolled my eyes as he snickered
Me : “fortunately I did not “
There was silence and I thought he was not there
Me : “ hello “
Him : “ I just had a talk with my Grandmother … “
Me : “ oh “
It was so kind of him to called me and ask if I have
given my assent to the wedding being moved to
closer date . He wanted to be sure and to check
with me that I had not been unnecessarily
influenced I found it amusing
Does he know that I’m considered most
headstrong by my family member im the one who
could not be forced to do anything I did not want
to do. I was moved by his consideration but yet
again as a women in this household I have no say
my first thought was to tell him that this marriage
is not arranged but forced and I don’t want to go
along with it but yet again that will only be fear

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and insecurity talking what do I have to lose
Mvelo has already promised me a new life to
study abroad to be myself and point out my views
my voice was always caged in this house and i
have lived in my head so long that I made it my
permanent residence it time to break free .
maybe the dream was right I need to break the
wall that shield my emotions.
Me : “ Mnguni does it matter at all when I will be
getting married to you I can disagree with them
and say it too soon but a year or two down the
line it will still be hanging over our heads …
besides my mother speaks highly of your
grandmother and I don’t know what she wants
the reunion to be so soon but I believe that she
has only Good intentions “ I hope I said inwardly
He breath out loud as if he was holding his breath
that got me smiling.
We talked more about life and he told me that he
has his friends over they showed up un
announced to celebrate his engagement party I
could tell by the noise that they parting Jesus man
and alcohol
Me : “ how do you feel about all of this you never
told me ? “ I was talking about the arranged union

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Him : “ it came as a shock … but I could not run
away from fate … I’m the last leaving man in my
family I feel like I need to plant a new seed for a
new family tree to grow for that to happen I need
a queen / wife and mother to my children I’m too
young for such responsibility but I learned the
hard way that we do not always get what we plan
to have in our lives “
Me : “ what might that be ? “
Him : “Most of us fantasize about meeting an
amazing person dating her for a good time
informing the parents about it getting everyone’s
approval and finally tying the knot. That’s the
definition of a perfect love marriage for many
right? It’s the stuff of fairy tales and most dream
about but we of royal blood our Future is written
in the hands of the ancestors and elders … our
direction are shifted because destiny and fate “
I nodded as if he could see me
Him : “ hay I’m also scared nervous … its my first
time being husband to someone as well fuck I
don’t even know what expected of me but I guess
will need to work on that together what do you
say ? “
I laughed

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Me : “ I will like that “
We talked about general stuff hobbies and he got
me laughing like a lunatic after 45 minutes we
said goodnight I laid on my bed facing up smiling
till the dream I had this morning came rushing
back what did it mean? can the very same man
who put a smile on my face seconds ago be the
one who will break my heart in million pieces ?
the portrait said it all I was heartbroken and he
was hugging another reality kicked in we not in
this for love its arranged.
my uncertainties and doubts about Mvelo swung
from the ridiculous to the unexciting revelation I
have only seen the sociable pleasant side of him.
What if he was an Ex murderer? A possessive
jerk? What if he did not give me room to breathe?
What if he is in love with someone else a crazy ex
? What if he was disorganized? Or too particular?
How would I have to adjust my personality to fit
someone else’s? Will I be able to live with this
man? Will I be able to love him?

155 | P a g e
Chapter 17

Trey ***
So after spending three days in Richards Bay I had
to start work. My uncles instructions it was not
easy running a multi million dollars company and
shadowing my uncle from the looks of it it was big
shoes that I got fill I'm grateful for Austin for
making me do my articles on my 3rd year because
what left to do now is to get my result graduat
practice full-time I just had a taste of the coat
room few days back and dam I loved it I'm exited
being on the office feels so wow maybe its
because its my first job but and I'm all hyped out
about it. My uncle plays to win and leaves no
stones unturned so I need to put more work to
put my name on the mark . So its official I'll be
working in the UK branch and making endless trip
home .
My Wedding is in few days time and I’m flying
back home as we speak I'll first need to pick up
Zithelo from her mons house i was planning on
spend this few days with my little princess I also
need to find a way to tell her that Me and
mommy are not together anymore and daddy is

156 | P a g e
getting married I hope she is not crazy like Pam
and throw tantrum because I have no clue what I
will do next last thing I ever wish to do is to hurt
my little girl that’s why I'm trying my level best to
be the best dad talk to her everyday buy her gifts
and always remember her favourite cartoon
character.
I kinda miss my Queen the last time i spent time
with Sbahle it was on the weekend of her memulo
/ Zibizo I wanted so badly to tell her about Zithelo
and Sli but there was never a good time no
moment she was a bit distance and cagy and I had
to rush back home till this day I have no idea what
me and Sbahle have today she is hot tomorrow
we cold the next day we not talking to each other
she challenges me and I feel like I have meet my
match.
The few days I spend with Sbahle I noticed that
my wife to be has temper for days yooooh! She
quite no doubt but when she speak she spit
venom she is hot headed she has wormed up to
me and we talk a lot over the phone but damn
she's crazy she is straight talker and does not
sugar quote shit can you believe that it just been a
week with her but we have fought a million times

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she told me her terms and conditions of this
marriage basically she put me in her lane I have
never seen a girl who is not taken by my
handsome looks you know every time when I get
to close or flirt with her she put a wall and shut
me out frankly I'm tired of trying I aren’t the one
to beg for love when she finally grows up I will be
waiting for her she is my stubborn hot-headed
crazy wife after all I told you that she no fragile
lamp she the wolf itself under that beautiful
futures .
I looked at her pic and smiled ooh how I wish I can
watch her whole day whole night hold her and
make her scream till the neighbours come nocking
on the door but well culture say we have the
wedding night to be intimate not that I'm after
sex I really don't mind waiting till she ready.
Menzi : she like Sindy ... You can never win with
her until you on top she needs a dick and she will
show you respect " that what my best friend said
but how can I initiate sex to a virgin who I have
never kissed and we still waiting for the wedding
night to take place next week . . which I doubt it
will even happen at all ohh my feisty Queen
bakithi .

158 | P a g e
I just arrived in Durban and was looking forward
in seeing my daughter that alone put a smile on
my face I was still not sure if I should stay with Zee
in the UK or maybe leave her with koko home but
either way I need her to be around family. I Have
been having bad feeling that what ever Sli is going
through is affecting my daughter Zee feeds on
emotions that her gift she senses sadness and
Channels it to happiness but she not getting
trough to her Mom Silindile emotional imbalance
is making my baby sick. She has been in and out of
the Dr room and I have been fighting with Sli like
world war three . it toxic what me and her have
now who knew that me and Sli will be like cat and
mouse cooperating couple.
I breath our loud as I stepped out of the plain I
was jet leg and tired but just glad that I'm on
leave work is taring again I need to control my
calling on the other hand Koko need me to take
the throne as in yesterday Zee needs a full time
dad my crazy wife need my attention baby mama
not speaking to me i have no idea how she thinks
will cooperant with her attitude towards me ”
Jesus Trey you got problems “ Sbu will say.
So you all know what happened between me and

159 | P a g e
Sli we made love and I woke up the next morning
to start something new with Sbahle weeks pass
and i come back to claim my daughter Zee was
sick and no Dr was helping her . my baby mama
refused as in she bluntly refused I have never
called her ever since a few weeks back when I
came to check up on Zee we fought again and we
had mad crazy sex after I walked away from her it
was a mistake I know I shouldn’t have but shit
happens .
I call every time I get and I speak to the nanny and
Zee only... Nola initiated that act said I don't need
to confuse Sli I have hurt her enough and she
need to move on. . . I don't know how that made
me feel though sli moving on ... im just stuck
between a rock and very hard place I wish I can
officially brake things off with her but how when
she is the mother of my child. I feel like when I
walk away I’m killing her and when I stay I’m
hurting her its just never win-win situation right
now .
I'm being unfair to her and Sbahle ooh God if
Sbahle funds out I'm screwed don't got me wrong
I'm not scared of her but I respect my Queen .
I parked outside Sli house the last time I was here

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we fought like crazy when I told her I want to take
Zee to stay with me next year ... Its only fair I
mean she had three years to spend with her so I
need my years with her as well funny because its
few weeks before next year and I'm taking her to
visit for a weekend spend time with her cousins (
Pam's kids ) I breath in and out as I stepped out I
buzz the gate and the help buzz me in I knocked
on the door the help let me in
Her : sir Mis is by the pool area but baby Zee is
taking a nap must I wake her up ?
" no I will make may way to Sli " she nodded and
showed me to the back yard Sli house was huge
modern and deco was beautiful which makes me
think how rich is this women i found sli on her
white bikini her flat tummy out there for show as
if she never fell pregnant her yellow body was
wow she had shades on a book on her chest I'm
guessing she fell asleep reading wow this sight
here I wasn't expecting to see its leaving me with
just imagination only small fabric is hiding her
delicate parts I'm staring too much looking at her
sexy body I'm hypnotised The thing is visual cues
are a major part of the sexual response to man
this is not about me wanting sex from her but just

161 | P a g e
to run my hands on her body and worship it her
body still has a hypnotic power over me took me
to the night when we conceived Zee shit I already
have Bonner she moves her heard and notice my
presence ...I quickly put my hands on my pocket ."
Ohh god " she said almost tripping of the lazy
chair
Me : I'm sorry to wake you "
She frowned
She took skaf and wrapped it around her body
Her : its ok... Ill go pack for Zi"
She was about to walk out but i held her arm I
hate the tension between us and the fighting it
got to stop sli has gone trough a lot in her life and
I hate to see her cry and especially if I'm the one
who's making her cry
Me : can we please talk before she wakes up "_
I lead her back to the seat and she took out her
shades this women doesn't age at all I looked at
her even longer than I should till she finally looked
away folding her arms I cleared my throat
Me : uright?"
She just looked at me this is going to be hard
Women don’t forgive as easily as men do but if
your sorry statement are true and sincere then

162 | P a g e
you got your best chances to get a positive
response
Me : firstly I would like to say I'm sorry "
Ever since sli came back to my life my world has
been turned upside down its no lie that I love Sli
of only she did not leave will be singing another
tune right now I don't know maybe not I should
stop thinking about what ifs its not helping in this
situation at hand I ran my hands on my face in
frustration
Me : how are you ? "
Her : I'm just like how you left me Trevor broken
mad angry ... you came back into my life and you
have the nerve to make me the other women "_
Me : ooh that what got you all worked up "
I raised my eye brow
When shes mad she pulls her nose and pulled her
mouth to the sided
Her : I know my worth uyezwa " she pointed a
finger at me
I pulled her finger down and held her hand our
fights never ends well
Her : I'm tired Trey ...I can do this with you any
more... "
Her : do what ? ... Last time I checked you not the

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other women you the mother of my baby ... So
can we talk like civilized people and stop biting my
head off because it turns me on ..."

Chapter 18

Sli ****
I may be in deep sleep but I suddenly felt some
one standing over me I slowly looked up and I was
met by this tall buffed up guy with dreadlocks I
first smiled thinking I'm a dream but soon realised
that its Trey his here standing in front of me while
I'm half naked
Me : ooh God " I stood up and covers my lower
body
Me : aaah what are you doing here ? "
I wish I could wipe that smug on his face with a
slap
Him : hi Sli" ooh God his doing again giving me mix
signals I don't need this right now why is my lady
part vibrating like this on his sound of his voice I
finally have courage to look at him oooh take me
Jesus his so Hot... Has he gotten taller now he was

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looking at me shit i forgot to greet back fuck why
must i? I'm still mad at him I'm angry infect I wish
this hold he has over me can be broken here he
was apologizing holding my hand sending
electrical waves to my heart. He regret being with
me I see it in his eyes he regrets sleeping with me
I can tell by the way he with hold his face after he
release inside of me he doesn't stay to cuddle.
He must love this girl but holding on to me for
what? yes we have child together we had
unfinished business when I left but could it have
ended like that ? just another unfinished business
? but I stood so low for the sake of love what
example am I setting for my baby girl? I'm the
women that makes him cause adulterer ooh God
knows I never planned This illegitimate
relationships it just happened when I was
emotionally spent and my self-worth was on rock
bottom I was lonely all the time and leave in this
fantasy of me and Trey in love forgetting that
being the other woman isn’t just about keeping a
secret – I am the secret."
Funny because this feels like day-javu to me I have
been in this situation before and its happing again
now . Both times the person had their foot out

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the door already when I met them and I honestly
didn't know one was in a relationship initially —
they just never talked about their significant
other. We were only friendly or binded by
something
Both relationships ended with me being cheated
on or for this instant me being kept a secrete I'd
like to say it's something I deserved falling for it
twice I really should have recognized the pattern
but the circumstances at the start of both
relationships were so different I hadn't put
together that it was the same thing I believe Trey
loves me he can not treat me like the previous
man I use to be with but I forgot that Trey is a
man also now .
His talking about taking Zee and I have no
strength to protest he wants to build a happy
family with his wife using my daughter I'm angry
the girl is leaving my life I should be the one that
walking down the Ilse with him I should be the
one trending in social media and newspaper I
should be the one trending in social media and
newspaper I invested so much in him but came
back with nothings
What does this Other Woman have that I don’t?

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Why is she better than me? Is it because she is
younger prettier thicker richer sweeter sexier
kinder better? I hate focusing on hating her
because it only leads me feeling insecure about
my self
I have seen her pictures she is sexy young
beautiful and has status he post her pics on his
social network he talks about her to his friends
and family his what's profile pic its a picture of
them together he loves her I see it in his eyes that
the love he had for me is slowly fading.
I was really really jealous she the kind of girl you
introduce to your parents I never thought about
her when we were together. But I did when we
weren't especially if he stood me up because his
plans change and it will only get worse once he
marries her
His phone ringed and he smiled he used to Smile
like that to me.
Him : Ndlonkulu " he laughed and stood up turned
his back on me. its her he talks like this to her. He
respect her and speak deep Zulu to her
He use to call me by my full name lately I'm just Sli
" fuck Sli you don't listen that your Problem " I
wiped a lone tear that escape my eyes his coming

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back
Him : I'm busy with something right now but will
drive there so we can talk ... I miss you "
He laughed she must be comic to crack such joke I
walked away my heart was braking I'm twisted
between absolutely hating myself and hating her.
I was jealous of her and I felt terrible about having
such feeling but yet again when is my happiness
coming ? I felt that by choosing to be with him I
was actually choosing what kind of person I was
and I didn't particularly like the person I was
choosing but I really love him.
Him : I have to go please tell the nanny to drive
Zee to Pam's place I don't want to wake her up
now "
I was numb he knows that his sister hates me and
I could not say no to that he hugged me and
kissed my forehead he walked out taking piece of
me with him but how do you make a man love
you when you found him with his one foot outside
the door already

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Chapter 19

Sbahle ***
weeks passed and I was still not feeling any better
the wedding day was approaching my mom was
so happy I can't say that about the rest of my
family they believed that I was unfit to be a
Queen I know nothing about culture yet alone
acting like a women
“ I don’t know what they saw in you uyosihlaza
nje emzini “
that was the Bhengu Queen my grandfather's 5th
wife she's bitter and always spoke shit about me
“ you have devil's mark on your back kade ngasho
ukuthi you and your mother are witches “ we all
keep quiet and take it in should it bother me that
she doesn’t like me No fam I’m used to this I know
that my father's side hate me and my mother the
worst part is that they do not even acknowledge
that my mother is married to the so called King
they constantly treated my mother like a slave
The bitter queen is Nwabisa mother she preferred
we speak about Nwabisa wedding that is to
happened next year or never happened at all
looks like the husband she is arranged to marry is

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not interested in this whole thing.
But we busy sugar coating the situation for her
she must be glad that she educated and need to
start building her life away from being the Bhengu
royalty because that what we are just girls with
name and status nothing special about that .
I don’t mind when the evil Queen stat bragging
and making comments about her daughter I hated
being centre of attention anyway but fact remains
that I'm getting married to the most Handsome
hottest coloured guy who looks like a model that
got everyone in the going gaga on how he looks
his wealth his accent my aunts will brag
everybody believes and think that I’m the luckiest
girl in the world to be engaged to Mvelo and
already I have become a socialite over night with
the Medea harassing me yep the Mnguni family is
highly influential.
So Mvelo returned back to the UK We chat a lot
which was easier than speaking with him face to
face he had that aura and appearance about him
that scared me a bit when I was around him.
I became more comfortable around him when we
talked over the phone maybe it because of the
distance that I finally let my guard down i get to

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tell him everything about my screwed up life We
Skype endless phone calls last week told him I
wanted to do my hair and he told me to do braids
I have learned that his controlling side is a more
dominated side of him we fight a lot because of
that yes FAM we fight and we never sleep without
resolving our issues I like that he communicates
with me a lot but his the most moodiest person I
have ever known and very possessive but yet
sweet king and living which I appreciated.
He suggested that in each phone call we make we
reveal one thing about ourselves a like or a dislike
a pet peeve or an characteristic. It did not have to
be deeply personal only what we were
comfortable with. The back and forth was
refreshing. It's good to know that i know a glimpse
of the man i will marry now Unlike our face to
face conversations that were so awkward talking
to him over the phone there were no
interruptions and its went very smoothly.
But Still I wondered if Mvelo had any doubts He
must have certain apprehensions about the way
his life was about to change as well. I have notice
that in his eyes lays deep secret about his life I
sense this at the time we first meet in retrospect

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this change of lifestyle must have been hard for
him as well. . . what did he have to give up to feet
me in his life he trying so hard to protect my
feelings but always reassuring me that we going
to do this and will make it work.
I was really fed up on seating around at my house
Nwabisa was acting a bit cocky and not so nice
this day I guess her mom got to her and I became
the target as if I planned to marry Mvelo so I
avoided her she always trying act and think she
better than me yooo it's tiring to be here shame
because I don’t give a rat ass about her . Didy left
with her mom going on vacation to cape town will
only see her on my wedding Eve oh how I miss her
we do chat a lot but its not the same with her not
around its official my life in this house is boring.
so I decided to take a walk
Sponsored
its official my life in this house is boring.
so I decided to take a walk I did not know where I
was going but I decided to just walk till I feel tired
I sat under the tree by the lake I set on the
bedrock right at the edge of the lake. My toes dip
into the water I busked on the solar energy and
admired mother earth's beauty wow it was

172 | P a g e
beautiful indeed. I don’t know what happened but
I felt this cold chill on my body and when I looked
around the sun was setting did I just sleep in the
woods yoh way to go Sbahle.
I must have walked to far from home because it
was a hell of a distance to get back home. Walking
back home felt like a decade of torture on my feet
I finally got home found my mother watching TV
she stop everything and looked at me
Her : where were you ?"_
Me: just went for a walk and lost track of time "
Her : kodwa Sibahle I was worried and you left
your phone behind "
Me : uxolo maka Sbahle "
She looked at me in disbelief I could not tell her
that a fell asleep by the river that was a story my
mother will never buy Her : asibonge nje ukuthi
lendoda ayikho or else we would have been
talking a different story "
I looked down and nodded and made way to my
room I undress took a bath and decided to read a
book I was not even hungry at all my mother
offered me food I just advised her that will eat
later
My phone beeped it was Mvelo

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Him :_hi"
I smiled and type back " hi "
Him : I'm outside "
Ini ! popped my eyes what ?
Him : I told you I will see you today " I looked at
my watch it was after 19:00
Me : tough you were talking about video call "
Him : woza ... Stop debating with me I just drove
for 3 hours and I'm jet lag so ... Aish woza Sbahle
please "
I took of my sleep wear
put on my above the knee long sleeve grey dress
and sleepers my braids were let loose running the
stairs I looked if mom was around and luckily she
was not in the seating room i dashed to the door
opened and breath out loud as I was about to
reach the gate the guards did not give Me any
hustle thanks God .
They opened the gate for me to my surprise
Mvelo was standing by the gate he smiled at me
and waved at me to come closer I started walking
with hesitation as I was walking towards him i
noticed that he was wearing a light grey track
pants and grey matching top and Adidas sneakers
wow I guess Grey is the colour of the day. he

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looked so Hot I notice his eyes piercing into my
soul I looked away I just could not handle the
intensity in his look.
Him: hi
He smiled and I smiled back and looked away
Me: hi what are you doing here ? “ he engulfed
me on a hug and whispered in my ear
Him: I came to see you "
Me : thought you still in the UK "
Him : well surprise "
I giggled .
Me : I’m not supposed to stand in the street with
boys you know "
He laughed and put his hands on his pocket
Him: but I’m not just any boy I’m your fiancé"
He loves Acknowledging that his my fiancé and it's
going to be worse once we tie the knot
Me: still my mom will chop my head if she finds
out I was standing on a street with my fiancé who
happens to be a boy"
He laughed
Him : you to tense what's up "
Me : I’m not I’m just not used to this “
Him : “ there is still a lot I need to teach you then
“ the way he said it kind off a gave me tingles on

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my spine His his eyes were piecing in my eyes he
bit his lower lip I felt a sharp vibrations in my body
He moved closer to me I stepped back and he
kept on moving closer till I put my hand on his
chest to stop him
Me: what are you doing ?”
his chest felt like a brick I could tell that his ripped
up I felt I quickly moved my hand from his chest
he lean closer to me he places his mouth on my
ear and he whispered
“ you are so beautiful “ and he blew air in my ear
and I stepped away I smiled at him . just when I
felt little butterflies tingling me he unlock his
range
He opened the passenger door and looked at me
Him : I don’t want to get you in trouble with your
mom so can we get away from here"
I looked him and did not know what to do it was
late he handed his hand to me my heart was
jumping so fast I walked towards the door and
snatched the keys from his hand
Me: I'm driving "
Him : no non no! you trying to kill Me like the last
time ... No letha " I shook my head as he chaise
me around the car

176 | P a g e
.
.
To be continued …

Chapter 20

Sbahle ***
After running few laps around the car he finally
gave in and jumped into the passenger sit I
winked at him and he shook his head looking
confused on what just happened I jumped in the
car I was so excised I was driving a Range I was
touching everything and admiring the car
everything in here was top notch this car was
pimped up I must admit I looked at my self in the
mirror and all along Mvelo was staring at me
Me: what ?
He laughed
Him: will I ever have car that I will call my own
once we married
Me: well what yours is mine hubby “
We laughed
Him: just drive please before I serve you with

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prenuptial agreement “
I stated the car and I looked at him
Me: so where too ?
He punched in the navigator
Him : “ follow the white ladies voice “
I bust out and laughed
I drove off and along the way we stated talking I
felt alive and I smiled and laughed Mvelo told me
about his childhood life and how his life was he
says that my home town reminds him of the
northern west where he grew up really this man
does that place even have an ocean?
Me : “ so you were not born with silver spoon ? “
Him : “ Nop I only knew about my True identity
when I was 18th “
So he did tell me about his calling and frankly I
never found it as a taboo I’m a typical African girl
from Zulu land I know this things just that I have
never took time to fully understand them but I
can never say that you evil or devils worshiper if
you have an ancestral calling My father used to
foresee the future and that gift was passed trough
generations I have dreams that I believe are part
of communication of something that is about to
happened talking about my dream I looked at

178 | P a g e
Mvelo and debated if I should tell him about it or
not “ you have arrived at your destiny “ the white
lady disturbed my thought
I parked the car when I arrived at the destiny I
looked outside
Me : sikuphi ? “
it was development estate new houses where
being built here
him : “ come and see “
I jumped out of the car he held my hand and we
walked to one of the houses the house was
complete smelled of paint and wood there was no
furniture but it was beautiful there was setting on
the middle of the room it was candle lit dinner
rose petals on the floor and silver leads covering
what’s ever that was served
I held my mouth I only see this things in the
movies
Me : “ ooh my God “
Him :” you like it ? “
Me : “ when did you get time to do all this ? “
Him : “ I’m a man full of surprises don’t
underestimate me “
It was indoor picnic kind of thing rug and cushions
on the floor

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Me : “ who’s house is this ? “
Him : “ you have lot of questions come lets eat “
He held my hand and made me sit down
he set down opposite me and looked at me he
was about to open the lead but I stopped him
me : “ ima let me take a pic first “
he bust out and laughed I took pics and posted it
caption – surprise dinner from my king my phone
started buzzing like crazy yoo this vultures are
responding now …
him : “ you know that when we get married you
need to have a handler “
me : a what ? “
him : “ aish I give up with you …you are too rural “
I hit him with rose petals and he laughed food was
really good it was mostly meat pastries and grilled
vegies we ate over light conversation and laughs
and wow the chocolate moose was heaven every
spoon full I will just close my eyes and allow it to
melt on my mouth
him : “ I want to tell you something “ I looked at
him
me : “ what “
he stood up and scooped me up
me : “ uzongiwisa Mvelo “

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him : ooh come on relax I got you “ he looked into
my eyes and I smiled I placed my head on his neck
we walked outside
The last time a man ever carried me was my
father he loved giving me piggy back rides and to
be in Mvelo arms right now just made me replay
those days when my life was so simple
honest fact Mvelo makes me happy I’m laughing a
lot and talk a lot this days he just brought a lot of
change in my life the anger I use to carry on my
shoulders was lifted off . he placed me on the car
bonnet of his car and he slide on top and laid next
to me we watched the stars while he played with
my hand
him : “ tell me something …. Have you ever been
in love ? “
I turned my head and looked at him
Me : “ why do you ask … “ I was derailing the
question that what I do when I don’t have an
answer or have no clue how to answer his direct
questions
Him : “look I’m no expect in such things… “
Me : “ but you have lived to experience It ? “
Him : “ we not talking about me Sbahle “
Me : “ well I am “ he set up straight and raised his

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eyebrow his irritated I could tell
Him : “ Sbahle ! “
Me : “ Mnguni “ I saw his mouth curving into a
side smile I enjoy pushing his buttons like this he
started tickling me
Me : “ no … mvelo “ he was on top of me
Him : “ you know the things you do to me “ a
volcano irrupted in my stomach this feeling was
back every time when he gets to close I have this
foreign feeling his phone rang on my lap he got of
me and slide next to me
he took it out the name Sli popped up on his
screen his body tensed up I sense that he debated
taking the call but reluctantly answered running
his hands on his face
Him : “ hello “
As much as it will be interesting to ears drop and
finding out about who is this Sli person calling him
at this hour I felt it will be right if I give him space I
tried to slide off the car but he held me close
Him : “ I’m not home call Pam “
…
Him : “ I’m not doing this with you right now !“
…
Him : “ who’s fault is that ? “

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…
Him : “ what the fuck!!"
...
Him : stop using emotional black mail it does not
work on me “
his voice gave me shivers … I thought I pissed him
off but this Sli person is making me see a side of
this guy I have never seen before he dropped the
call after back and fourth of shouting I was still
scooped under his hold he looked at me with his
eyes red he slide back and pulled me to lay on his
chest he breath out loud I wanted to ask him who
was that and what was the call about but was
afraid of his reaction
Him : “ I need to tell you something “
My heart skip a beat his heart is raising his about
to have a heart attack too I set up straight and
looked at him.
Him : “what’s wrong ? “
I looked at him and I could tell that he was
struggling to tell me this I had no doubt in my
mind that it has everything to do with this call he
just had strange enough It killed me to see him
look this stressed he was laughing and goofing
around with me few minutes ago and now there is

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this wedge that is weighing him down
Me : “ please talk to me “
Him : “ two months back I found out that I had a
child … a daughter “
I breath out loud
Me : “ I know … “ he did not hear me he was
rambling and talking to fast he was not making
any sense
Him : “ I swear to god I did not want to keep this
from you I know it was wrong of me to do so
every time when I tried to tell you the words
could not come out … “
Me : “ I know Mvelo … “
Him : I lost three years in her life because her
mother actions it was selfish of me to keep this
from you I know … its like I contradicted my self
by saying that we should tell each other
everything but I turn around and keep stuff from
you … I’m sorry “
Me : “ I understand … “ he was not even listening
to what I was saying he was talking with his hands
and suddenly he stopped and looked at me
Him : “ what did you say ? ….”
Me : “ I know about Zithele “
“ how ? who told you ?.... Instagram ? “ I shook

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my head
Me : “ Zoe bit you to it she made me promise that
I don’t confront you about it and you will tell me
when you ready “
Him : “ how long have you known “
Me : “ ever since the first day I meet you “|
Him : “ shit … I'm sorry for not telling you “
Me : “ I understand … “
there was a moment of silence we laid there in
the car bonnet looking at the stars he was lost in
his own thoughts so was I I never thought that I
will be a stepmother at the age of 18 which made
me have multiple questions about This unknown
woman would she be the primary caregiver to his
baby? she would always be in this little girl’s life
and more importantly she would always be a part
of Mvelo life. As selfish as it sounds this stranger
was suddenly more important than me they
created a life with Mvelo they had a bond
together Part of me also worried that they might
end up in a romantic relationship together i mean
They slept together not once not twice a multiple
times until they conceived a baby and now that
they were parenting a child together what would
stop them from getting sexual again? … if They

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aren’t already in one . . . oh god what have I
gotten my self into
.
.
to be continued

Changes 21

Sbahle****
I'm biting on my lip and my thought are bouncing
up and down like tennis ball I’m stuck in my heard
nothing seems to make sense … you know People
get stuck in their heads all the time – some of us
more than others. Although it’s lovely to ponder
life and inquisitive about the situation at hand i
keep asking myself what kind of game is he
playing ? are they fighting because of me ? why
did she keep the baby from him ? is he in love
with her ? Why is this happening now when I feel
some kind of a way about him. Is there an us? Will
there be an us in the future ? or we just going
remain as two people in the arranged Union. . .
question … question … no answer to them all .

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Maybe I should hear him out maybe he will
answer my question ooh God there is this other
factor or issue of him having a child with another
women I thought I was ready for this but I'm I
really ? What am I saying its not up to me or us we
are arranged we a porn in the alders game they
need my egg to grow his bloodline.
Will his child blame me for the rest of her life I'm
the cause that her parent are not together she
will never be with both of her parents under the
same roof and while that’s not all that rare this
situation is particularly strange and heat braking I
know this for fact from experience I hated my
uncle for taking over my father's house after my
father died so how will Mvelo baby act around me
when the truth comes out that I broke up her
parents ... is This history repeating itself ?
Ooh God and worse part is that her parents would
be on friendly terms and she might struggle with
knowing that she wasn’t particularly conceived
out of love or was she ? . How would this child
view her parental situation when she is old
enough to understand? Was it one night of
stupidity or was it passionate love making that
made her ?

187 | P a g e
Me : “ who is Sli ?" I knew the answer to that but I
wanted to confirm my suspicious
I finally asked my voice was barely audible
He lifted his upper body and rested his elbow on
the car window and his head on his hand he
looked at me for a long time his eyes glow this
time I felt something in me I felt a need to be with
him my stomach did back flips and I felt a wave of
unknown feeling his look made me have short
breath my heart beating became abnormal my
mother warned me about this
“ when you feel it you will know “
I then knew that im screwed I have fallen for
Mvelo his flaws his imperfection did not mean a
zilch in me any more he lowered his face to mine I
breath in her breath I felt the time stopping or
was it my heart.
Him : She is the mother of my child "
Me: girl friend ? "_
Him : No ... " he breath out loud
“ can we not talk about this ... Not today please "
he rubbed his nose on mine I pushed him off me a
minute ago we were going about our business
happily in your relationship when suddenly
there's this issue at hand ... it stated to shift

188 | P a g e
everything Maybe it's something he don’t want to
say — or the way his avoiding it — but there's a
little tickle in the back of my mind that says
something's off. my instinct maybe its my
subconscious is setting off alarm bells that his
being not totally forthcoming. I have never been
in situation like this I’m not sure if I should
override my gut feeling or maybe I’m being
paranoid which is why I’m asking myself what else
is he hiding from me i felt my throat getting dry I
wanted to get away from him I need his car keys
.... I walked back to the house I set down I took
appletiser and drank from the bottle what does
he mean we must not talk about this not now ...?
the problem is that the majority of my thoughts
are not so upbeat they don't have the answers I
seek . When I'm in a mind-wandering mode / “in
my head"_ thoughts usually turn to the brain’s
default mode network which means that the brain
literally defaults to this kind of worry-based of
thinking too much yes I know about my condition
I spend years in a therapist room to catch up on
fast on the medical teams and I'm in that state
again when I feel numb
Him : “A wandering mind is an unhappy mind.” he

189 | P a g e
sounded far but yet near I wanted to answer him
but the voices on my head made me close my
mouth
Him : Sbahle come back to me " I looked at him he
was sitting next to me his worried
Me : I'm sorry " I remembered im looking for keys
i was not planning on talking any further he
remained sited and looked at me.
Him : Sbahle ...talk to me please "
Me :" Mvelo you said you don't feel like talking
now so I'm giving you time "
I got lot of questions but I'm afraid of the answers
I will get yes I knew about his daughter but never
thought the mother is in the picture yet alone
they communicate this feels like a love triangle
what I am even saying he don't love me he
tolerates me because will spend years together
because of this marriage but now what must I do
with this feelings I have for him he snaked his
hand around my waist and pulled me to sit in
between his legs
Him : I'm right here with you don't allow your
mind to wander off... Reason I don't want to talk
about her is because she Is my past but she is in
my life because she is Zee mother my relationship

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with her is complicated okwamanje as you heard
for yourself "_
he pulled me to him and I rested my head on his
chest I love how his touch makes me relax
Him : I have a past Sbahle like any other guy my
mistake made me the man I am today I'm not
perfect most probably far from being perfect ... "_
Me : are you in love with her ?"_
He breath out loud
Him :Fate hadn’t been kind to me. For so long
being in relationship was an unrequited feeling an
unreturned text and an unresolved ending. . .Love
was a one-sided fight against the overwhelming
odds that I would eventually lose. Love was me
trying in vain to hold onto a relationship that was
past the point of saving....
And so after many bitter tears and heartbreaking
experience I wanted a way out. I was content
being by myself. I thought if love wasn’t meant for
me maybe I shouldn’t fight against it. I started to
be my own company instead of yearning to find
someone. I slowly learned to be okay with myself
instead of needing someone to be there for me. I
was more concerned with guarding my heart and
not getting hurt than anything else...."

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Me: you sound broken "
Him : I was ... Until I meet my daughter
She turned my world upside down and blew my
mind in the most unexpected way. . . "
Him : she is the innocent soul she did not choose
to be born in the world where people fight hate
and use her for there own personal gain "
He breath out loud
Him: I vow to protect her from all of that I believe
that if she has my heart it will be safe with her
because she had never experience heart break... "
I wiped my tears that was so sweet
He turned Me around to look at him
Him : have you ever fall in love ? "
This question again I looked at him and shook my
head No
Him : Zithethelo is to young to safeguard my heart
but since you innocent and pure like her my you
safeguard it for me "
I buried my face in his chest ooh Lord why is he
doing this to me
Him : Ndlonkulu "
Me: mmm"
Him : will you do that for me ? “
Me : I'm scared ... "

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Him ; im scared to but i trust you i trust the
people who sacrifice their lives for us to meet my
father went on suicidal mission dumping me and
sister on the side of the road to survive. Your
father allowed another lion to do a take over in
his pride challenges you went through prepared
you for a guy like me I’m so glad and relieved that
my path had been leading up to meeting you and
falling in love with you. The past lessons were
painful yet timely to teach me what I need to
know so that I can be the best version of myself
before I could love you. I know how right we are
for each other because I know what it was like
being with the wrong one. I feel blessed everyday
to be with the person that I didn’t dare to dream I
would meet. . . she was chosen for me but I soon
realised she was a missing puzzle in my life "_
I looked at him and to my surprise his eyes told
Me that he meant every word he just said he ran
his hands on my face
Him :
I'm not an affectionate type those who happened
to be in my life they may tell you how much of
jerk I am and you just shaved off my mane"_
I laughed Am I ready for this ? His my first

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boyfriend and I don't know shit or rules of
engagement how will this work his eyes were still
looking at me they glow in the dark I felt my body
heating up and my stomach turning into knots he
was breathing on my face and he is to close his
nose touched mine
Him : “ I’m going to kiss you now ok “ he said just
few inches from my mouth and before I could
protest and run for the hill felt his lips on mine
Me : I don't know how to ..." I said softly He
smiled and gentle suck my bottom lip it felt good
he took the lead to explore my mouth Sucking
leaking and moaning I started feeling very funny
My body was on an adrenaline rush my heart rate
definitely speeding up ooh God I'm having a heart
attack I suddenly could not breath my breathing
pattern was getting heavier and louder ooh god
did I moan he pulled out slowly packed my lip and
nose I catch my breath and held my chest
Him : Don’t worry you’re not dying it’s just the
excitement and nerves your body is feeling when
our lips meet. It’s a good feeling so don’t panic.
Enjoy the adrenaline and all of the weird things
going on in your body "
I looked at him and blushed I just kissed boy ...

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And I like it he pulled me to his arms
Him : you just had your first kiss ...with your
husband ..."
I looked at him and we chuckled
Him ;_
I love you Sbahle Bhengu ...”
.
.
.
To be continued ***

Chapter 22

Sbahle ***
I head the door opening she stood by the door I
heard her heavy breathing
Her : Sbahle ...yakhohlwa that I was once your age
"
I faked yawn which turned into be a real yawn
Me : morning ma ka Sbahle "
Her : where were you last night ? "
Me : ma ? " I rubbed my eyes
Her : I know you were not here last night ... “

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Me: aybo ngingayaphi ebusuku wadlala ngami ? "
She looked at me for a longest time I made sure
my bed covers covered my body only showed my
face
Her : the sun is up go take a bath and help me
with breakfast "
I frowned and looked at her
Me : don't we have maids to do that "
Her : I'm a wife before I'm am queen girly and the
kitchen is my place... Awuvuke "
Does this women know how sleepy I am bakithi
Her : and if you going to sneak out of the house
my girl try to the evidence so you will not get
caught"
I looked at her all puzzled
Her ' nobody sleeps with ugg sleepers vuja and go
take bath and tell me ukuthi uphumaphi "
I dropped my mouth looking at my shoes fuck I
can't even hide evidence that I was not home
She walked out laughing while I just hit my
forehead I lifted the bed covers and breath out
loud I ran my hands in my mouth and smiled
Mvelo and i spend the whole night talking kissing
and just being I our feeling I can not believe I fell
in love when I was just 18 and I will never forget

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the moment it happened my feeling became
stronger in that new development house where it
all started as surprise dinner date to romantic
night that i will forever replay in my heart and
head after he told me how he feels about me I
could not help but to see that his genuine about
this I still have my doubt about him but last night I
let my guard down and followed my heart we
were eating and kissing and tracing the lines on
each other's palms — talking about the future
about college about all of the unknowns. . . he has
everything plan out which scares me because I
have learned that plans can have the most
unexpected shift. What will happened then when
you only have plan A and no backup .
he will sometimes stop look at me and squeeze
me to a hug he has said he love me so many times
that I lost count
him : "Even if one day you regret to be in my life
and thinking of leaving me "
he'd told me arms tangled around my waist
Him"I hope I get to shake the hand of the man
gave you life because his creation is a gem indeed
"
As much as I have left s huge part of

197 | P a g e
disappointment in me about us. About him at that
moment that statement was. Just bullshit this
man before me is my husband and I plan to be
with him we passed out in each others arms and
was woken up his heavy breathing he was in deep
sleep but the dream he was in was making him
shake and grind his teeth I shook him softly his
eyes lazy open and he smiled when he saw me
and kissed my forehead it was already morning
and there was no time to look st my dreamy in
front of me I had to go back home
Him : I'm going to miss you "
Me : I'll miss you to now let me go before I get
into trouble "
We kissed for the longest time leaving me panting
out of breath ..
Him : I love you "
Me : I love you too ...' His teeth are my weakness
for a man who never smile or laugh his fa e comes
to life when display his teeth I tip-toed into my
living room the coast was safe sneaked inside I
knew mom was going to check up on me it was
already after 5h00
so I jumped in the bed and covers my self so yes
FAM I spend night with a man and it was so

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magical ..
After taking a bath I looked at my self in the
mirror so yes FAM I spend night with a man and it
was so magical ..
After taking a bath I looked at my self in the
mirror ran my fingers on my mouth and smiled
" I wish I can just stay in your lips mmm sthandwa
sami ungiqabula kamunandi " I giggle and and
walked out its official Mvelo is my new drug
" you know they just told me that its Gold and
white " I walked in the kitchen minutes later Mom
was speaking to one of my aunts "Thabi " she the
sweetest and very close with mom Mom is still
upset that Veli ( Mvelo's Aunt) is handling
everything on her own I have no clue how the
wedding dress looks like but Zoe told me that she
the best event organizer ever
Me : maka sbahle stop worrying "
Her : sbahle its your wedding I have to ... Your in
laws are not involving us one bit "
Aunt T: akathumeli ngishi esisodwa isithombe lesi
"_
Mom : and a week from now my Bby will be
walking down the isle "
'"_ awu saze savelelwa ulomshado bo !! you wake

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up you hear about it you sleep yizo lezo kanti
kiyaqala yini ukushada leykhaya !!!'
Mom : awu sawubona ma.... Siyaxolisa "__
The bitter queen mother walk in she hates our
guts but she is always in my fathers house eating
our food she looked at me
Her : awusabulisi manje "
Me : sawubona Ndlovukazi "
Her : aish this thing of yos nontombi cant even
greet me with respect nxayi suka ..."
I opened my mouth but looked at my mom she
shook her head
I absolutely hate my grandmother and I want her
to either go to a nursing home or die ... Oh God I
was on better mood few minutes back but the
moment that women opens her mouth oooh I felt
my blood getting hot feel like a horrible person
for felling like this and I know my father is
probably rolling on his grave right bow but I have
to vent before I freak out and say and do
something I shouldn't. I hate my grandmother.
There I said it. She's the most repellent person I've
ever known and I feel like I'm wasting my energy
by giving her any attention.
Me : may I please be excused"

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Mom nodded I ran to my room banged the door
.
Trey ***
Its morning Wait its afternoon and I found my
uncle standing by the window I must had have 2
seconds of sleep because I still feel tired I didn't
even make it to my bedroom I just passed out on
the coach. Driving from Sbahle house was bed
idea but I had to be home to spend some time
with Zee
A flash back of dream I had made sit and think of
what it meant
it got me worried I can't shake the feeling that
Sbahle life is in danger
Him : you look like you have seen a ghost
Me : “ aish Just a dream I had " I ran my hands on
my face "
Him : mmmm
Him : what you doing here ?"_
Him : business ... How was your night with your
wife "
I smiled replaying last night events I set up
straight
Me : Have you ever felt an overwhelming sense of
familiarity and joy upon meeting someone? "

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He just folded his arms and looked at me
Me: it felt she was someone from my past life i
felt connected with her spirit
I finally feel understood fully and completely. I
feel like I can be my goofball self around her and
she won’t judge me. In fact she embrace and
accept me unconditionally. I feel totally
comforted and complete looking into her eyes as
ifs its me and her are one and the same like i have
connected with her soul to the core. "
Him : OK lover boy I get you ... If I knew you will
be this detailed I wouldn't have asked "
We laughed
Him : are those perhaps your wedding vows ??'
I rolled my eyes at him and he chuckled I walked
to my room took shower Sbahle laugher filled the
room and the most strangest thing happens in the
shower. The water started a circle movement and
not going down the drain I knew gogo Ndoni
wants to tell me something I then notice Sbahle
standing on the cliff she looked at me and smiled
and she jumped down I ran after her and saw a
big wave of water that look like her face ...
when I came out from the bathroom I set on my
bed the vision was not clear .... It confused me like

202 | P a g e
the dream i had this morning I need to See mama
today she might share some light after dressing
up I found my uncle reading some documents he
had a frown on his face
Me : what's up?"_
Him : “ duty calls I need you help me with this
case “
He pointed a file at the table
Me : “ im on leave planning a wedding and need
to spend time with my daughter. So this need to
wait till I get married "
Him : “ its more of your league embalmment
Froude corruption you know all that jezz and a
whole lot of tax money that not paid “
Me : shit !"_ I could not say no to that. Business
law was my speciality
I rubbed my hands together all excitement
Me : “ who are putting away … “
Him : “ your father in law “
I dropped my mouth as in what the fuck
Him : “ I knew there was something dodgy about
him "_
Me : so you decide to dig up dirt "
Him : it something that Banzi said that got me
thinking "

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I looked st him
Him : his account is too clean ...which means his
hiding something "
Me : “ there is more to this then what you telling
me “ I looked at him
Him : “ of cause there is but that not your
business find loop whole and take him down … “
Me : “ ahh malume I kinda of promised Zee that I
…“
Him : “ I trust you with Trey ... I font want that
man to be part of of our family his rain ands now
... '
He stood up took his car keys
Him : his planning something and your wife may
be a porn in his game I don’t want to spill any
blood because your conscious . . . you in the big
league now act like a lion that you are "__
I nodded ....
.
.
.to be continued ...

204 | P a g e
Chapter 23

4 day before the wedding

Trey ***
My wedding day is approaching and I'm ball of
nerves. I'm one minute happy and the next I
question my self if I deserve a person like Sbahle I
have been to busy to go by her house and visit her
and to be honest I miss her like crazy we text and
call each other but its just not the same. And now
I can only see her on our wedding day since she is
under 24 hrs lock down.
I really love sbahle her her physical appearance do
not match her worn soul she is the mist beautiful
girl I have ever seen my type as well thick thighs
small tummy and big ass is a bonus yoo she is so
sexy .. Infect she the full package to me but not
once I have ever lusted over her I like the deep
connection I have with her we talk and she is good
listener and dahm smart too her advise are always
spot on she puts me in my place all the time she is
matured for her age and her worm nature and
strong courageous side makes me see he as a
fighter she no push over she is just unique ...
Shoot me for saying this again I don't care " I

205 | P a g e
fuckin love that girl" she is that special
Someone who just walked in my life and sweeps
me away. The normal I once known is no longer
the same as it used to be Things started changing
and I didn't realize when it actually did but notice
how perfect the change has been. My family and
friends look at me all amazed and are happy
about this change in me . I wonder how can
someone so young so Innocent have such an
effect in me Someone who was not even present
leave aside being called a stranger. Someone
who's one sight just filled my mind with happy
thoughts she is that someone who's presence
makes me nervous and happy at the same time.
Even when she is so far away her presence i still
can feel I smiled and sent her a text telling her I'm
thinking about her place my phone aside because
I know she not the type who walked around with
a phone on her hands yep my girl is antisocial Like
that
" I'm sorry I'm late had to drop the kids ... "
He stopped looked at me and clicked his tongue
Him : what the fuck am I apologizing for ? you
disturbed me on my week end get away with my
family Mnguni ! "

206 | P a g e
I laughed I was in Pretoria on business and Kevin
is busy man to score a meeting with I have been
running after him for days now and he still tells
me shit but I'm glad he could make it
Me : Mr Smith I'm really sorry but i won't have
called if it was not important "
Him : hay futsek ...address me by my name I'm
not in a suite "
I laughed and called the waiter to take our drinks
while handed him my proposition.
Kevin Smith is Married to Zoe Aunt and he the
shark in the Courtroom his firm is small but big in
profile his firm never looses a case and he only
deals with high profile cases so high coat is his
second home basically
Him : this is serious. " he looked at my proposal
and whistled and looked at me
Him : what must I do with it "
Me : put him down ... For a long time "
He set back and looked at me
Him : why you not doing it . clearly you have
everything to take him down "
Me : his my father in law ... "
He took a sip on his drink
Well it was not hard in collection evidence to take

207 | P a g e
down Bhengu the man is just careless and left lot
of bread crumps so my PI found our more then I
was looking for and Taking him down will be like
taking candy from a baby to be honest the guy
never covers his tracks but I feel sorry for the guys
that are connected to him because they going
down with him also
Him : this are high profile people "
Me : its more of kind of a thing ..."
I have compiled evidence that will take him down
for long time I was planning on looking him in the
eye when I do it but it will be conflict of personal
interest so another firm must do the Horner's
Him : what in for you "
Being in the legal field have made understand that
favours are done for more of a personal gain. My
uncle was right when he said I need act like a lion
so I'm planing a hostile take over of Kevin firm not
now though but in few years time. I like how he
works and the Durban branch is missing that ...so I
need him as partner .
Me : Kevin come on we practicality family why
would you think of that "
My poker face did not give him any ideas but I
know that he will will do an investigation on me

208 | P a g e
but bummer for him I'll be in the UK...he relaxed a
bit and started talking business ... And he finally
agreed. . .
Me : nice doing business with you "
Him : like wise " he took the file and his phone
after shaking my hand but bummer for him I'll be
in the UK...he relaxed a bit and started talking
business ... And he finally agreed. . .
Me : nice doing business with you "
Him : like wise " he took the file and his phone
after shaking my hand he stopped and looked at
me
Him : I'm going to keep a close eye on you Mnguni
"
Me : I expect you to do just that" he shook his
head and walked out
" one down ... "
I sent a text to my uncle
Him :good ... You know what to do next right "
Me: I'm on it "_
I got in my car after I left the restaurant my phone
ringed and connected to the Bluetooth
" Trevor you ... You took my child to Ngonyameni
Village ... With out telling me !!!"
Me : I don't repot to you about my baby "

209 | P a g e
Her : you know that I'm back in town and you
decide to ship my child across the country !!!"
Me : well we don't revolve around your busy
schedule sli do your speech or what ever stand up
shiy you do and stop blowing up my phone as if I
ow you something " she stated crying shit not this
again I just dropped the phone
.
.
.
Sbahle ****
This days I woke up with distorted thought I have
a bad feeling but that mostly happens when my
step father is around its easy for Mvelo to say I'm
must forgive him for treating my mom the way he
do. But I just can't find peace in it... I'm split into
million peaces thinking about how will i leave
happy with Mvelo while leaving my mom alone
with this monster... This days he has been having
numerous one on one meeting with the evil
Queen mother and spends most of his night in her
house I should be relived that I do not get to see
him but this hag of women is always on my case
that I'm this close in strangling her.
She asks questions all day long usually the same

210 | P a g e
types of questions where people my in-laws work
where those the Mnguni get so much money ?
even though there's is google and all that jazz she
still will say that his thug in suite
I feel like I'd have more peace around a 4 year old
than her She so quick to talk about disrespect and
that she will "smack me" When I leave her
hanging calling me names is something i have
came to arcustom to She does nothing but sleep
shout and swear at me and my mother all day but
when I sleep during the day after getting away
from a day of humiliation she'll complain about
how I'm lazy and that the Mnguni must replace
me with beautiful hard working smart girl
referring to her daughter I presume.
Lately She's nosy as fuck. You literally can't go
from room to room without her asking you what
you're doing. If I eat something she'll sit there and
watch me and make comments about it. I have
decided not to eat around her unless someone
else is there too because I know she'll stare. If I go
upstairs for any reason she'll stand at the bottom
of the stairs and call me down to ask me what I'm
doing. . . she called me wicket and that I have bad
heart because I hardly talk to her or anyone else

211 | P a g e
" ukhohlakele njenGO nyoko wena ... Nxa "
honestly if this was any other house hold I would
have long killed her. Or ran away but I stay for the
sake of my mom but I'm glad this married came it
my only escape
" you can not start your new life with such heart
Sbahla learn to forgive and forget " ooh my poor
mother she is so naive bakithi forgive
kanjani if this women is provoking me Evey time
she gets
" we counting down the days .. Kuba mnyama
kakhulu uma sekuzokhanya . . . bekezela
mntanami ...and Pray " my mom will comfort me
when i struggle to get of the bed to face the world
I don’t believe that my happiness lies in
someone’s hand but I need to go out there and
make my own happiness You've probably heard
quotes like "happiness is a choice" or "if you want
to be happy be" or "people are as happy as they
make up their minds to be.” In theory these
quotes come from a good place. They're meant to
highlight the notion that though you don't always
have control of your circumstances you have
control over how you feel. But how do I exactly
feel ? I hate being Bhengu ... Its just a name that I

212 | P a g e
will never hold with horner ...behind close doors
I'm constantly abused and I must endure it all
because I'm princess I need to smile and wave like
I'm leaving the perfect life . .
I turned around and looked at the time it was 40
min after 4 in the morning seemed like I never
slept at all to be frank with yall I didn’t sleep at all
I took quick shower jumped into my black long red
skirt matching red crop top that has a hoody
white cap and red kicks took my diary and
backpack my intention was to sneak out for
morning ride on my bike but I suddenly felt my
heart beating abnormally fast as i head foot steps
coming my way I ran to the pantry and closed the
door
. I feel like I'm developing anxiety from being
around her. If I hear her coming I get nauseous.
I'm afraid to walk back to my room because I
know she'll start interrogating my every step
Her : this people do not need to marry this girl
...she not worthy to be Queen "
Male voice : but Nwabisa useceliwe nje "
Her : I'll deal with that mina ngithi .. . washada
loyanondidwa imfene izihamba emini and wena
you will lose a lot "

213 | P a g e
Male voice : that marriage will not last Nwabisa
will be a Mnguni wife ill make sure of that "
Her : i don't want it to happened Uyezwa !! you
better make sure of that ungakhohlwa that I
sacrifice a lot for you to get the throne time to
pay back Bhengu "
I held my mouth in shock " ooh my God"
.
.To be continued

Chapter 24

Sli ****
I was mad angry in fact I hated ever crossing paths
with Trey his such bully and uses power over me
so what was I now to him? another women who
carried and mothered his child how did we get to
this point how did it all fall down
" ooh my God you still here ... Didn't they tell you
that the kids are gone " she said stepping out of
her house I was so emotional when the house
keeper told me that the kids left with Mzamo this
morning they were going to the village since Trey

214 | P a g e
is getting married on few days time so I'm not
allowed to see my child because his getting
married.
I wiped my teas and looked at her she still look
beautiful but very sickly she was skinny with dark
circles around her eyes and her bones were
clearly visible on her face .
I stood up from her stoop and dusted my self
Me : I'm sorry "
She coughed slowly walked to a rocking stool she
was in bad shape I must admit I felt sorry for her
shame .
Her : staring will not give you the answers of my
illness Ms Zwane '
I looked down " I'm sorry "
Her : what do you want from my brother ?" I was
about to leave her premises Pam hates me that's
no lie too her I'm just a sugar mama that's ruining
her little brothers life
I stopped walking this is the one question she ask
me that I'm unable to answer
Me : excuse me ?"
Her : as you can see I'm really sick and repeating
my self will just make me more weak "
Even on her state Pam still acts like a bitch

215 | P a g e
Me : we have a child together ..."
Her : I don't give a rat shit about that and don't
get me wrong I love my niece I'm not asking about
her I'm asking you ukuthi umfunani umfowethu "
Me: nothing ... We not together anymore " that
was bitter sweet I'm I really over with trey? or I'm
just trying to convince her ? Our relationship is
kept a secret any wat
She laughed OK now I see why every one says that
Zithelo looks like Pam she laughed like her her
two dimples just came out to play the way she
raise her shoulder when she laughed it what Zee
does as well
Her: you were given one instruction pertaining my
niece just one " Zithelo is with Pam call Pam if you
need to see her or talk to her ...im out of town on
business " that was the SMS he sent to you wena
what did you do ... Call him everyday every night.
.. Haybo mama what were you doing ? "
Me : Pam how can I talk to you when you clearly
have showed me and told me you do not like me "
Her : and you right about that I do not like you but
I'm mother and when a child is involved I put my
differences aside with the other parent "
Me : I'm sorry I didn't know "

216 | P a g e
She looked st me
Her : for an older women you shure act dump
how old are you 31-32 years old and already you
do not think you to quick to act like a victim
thinking that Trey Family does not like you you
forget that you the mother of his child...that alone
had made you family But you too emotionally
invested in Trey and you forgot what made you
step foot in our home ...wawuzobika umtana ... "
Me : I think I should leave "
She was talking out of content now and I was not
about to get in a fight with a sick person "_
Her : yini iqiniso liyababa ?
Me : what have i ever done to you Pam to treat
me this way ..."_
Her : let's see 5 years ago you called my brother a
witch for telling you Truth about you dead
husband you didn't stop there you told him his
cursed for having a calling and you called him all
sort of name even blamed him for killing your
precious husband and destroying your life what
you did after that you turn around and opened
your old legs for him without using protection you
trap him with a baby instead of telling him the
minute you found out you pregnant you hid it

217 | P a g e
from him and came back with a baby when she
was Three years old when he told you he had
moved on you using his baby to get beck in bed
with him ...so you old enough to ask me why I
don't like you ?"
I could not say a word to her my tears just
continued yo rush down on my cheeks
Her : I will never hate you but I hate the way you
act around my brother Sli you are broken and you
can never be in a right relationship because you
used to being hurt by Man to you this is just
normal "
Me : You don't know me "
Her : I don't need to know you yo see right trough
you ... surprisingly girls who grew up with dads
who were emotionally or physically absent are
more likely to struggle with depression as adults.
Because they fear abandonment and rejection
these women often isolate themselves
emotionally. They avoid healthy romantic
relationships because they don't feel deserving
and fear getting hurt but they might jump into
unhealthy relationships that ultimately lead to
heartbreak. In either scenario the women are in
emotional peril and frequently become

218 | P a g e
depressed. If they don't deal with the cause of
their sadness—an absent dad—they may never be
able to develop healthy relationships with men. . .
have you ever thought about forgiving your own
father for leaving you and starting a family with
another women ? ... No but you just jump from
one unhealthy relationship to another ...
..Again I'm going yo ask you umfunani umfowethu
?"
Me : you don't know about my life ..."
I'm shocked that she knows about my dark
secrete that I kept buried for years now
Her : you forget that i was once a cop and digging
information about people I was trained to do that
... "
I looked down I felt my heart beating abnormally
this was embarrassing
Her : I follow your motivational talk and I believe
that behind that insecure women there is strong
women you just need to Stop helping the world
and focus on you first stop preaching what you
don't practice "
I felt my knees not strong enough to hold my body
I found my self seating down
Her : I will never hate the women who made me a

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Aunt for the first time i love niece i see me in her
eyes
"
I wiped my tears and looked at her
Her : if you love him as much as you claim you do
you will walk away ...
Me : Pam I..."
She cut me off before I could talk
Her : you only have seen the good side of him
trust me my brother is the worst kind of human
being when he wants too be and he feeds on the
weak ...don't be his victim" she stood up and
slowly walked inside the house she left me still
confused.
driving back to my house my mind was replaying
every word that Pam said do I really have daddy
issues ?
"_good you came right in time "
Me : hi "
I passed her trying to make my way to my room
Her : sly I'm moving out "
I froze and looked at her
Me : what ?"
Her : ever since we came back to South Africa we
have been fighting if its not about Trey its about

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Zee if not Zee its about work
Me : Nola please I haven't been in right state of
mind right now Trevor took my baby to his village
...
Her : you see what I mean "
Me : I'm hurt Nola OK shoot me for crying out
loud . . . "_
She sigh
Her : I know Pam told me that the kids are going I
called you but you never answered you phone "
Me : I'm sorry ...I'm just stressed this whole thing
with Trevor is weighing on me "
She breath out loud
Her : what think ? ... The fact that he wants to
spend time with his child or the fact that he is
getting married ?"
She folded her hands and looked at me
Her : seat down ..." She pulled me to sit with her
she held my hand and looked at me
Her : You cannot co-parent with a narcissist. I
repeat YOU. CANNOT. CO-PARENT. WITH. A.
NARCISSIST.
No matter how flexible or firm you are. No matter
how hard you try every attempt to “be the bigger
person” or “kill ‘em with kindness” will ultimately

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fail. You cannot co-parent with a toxic person. "
Me : Nola Trey is not like that ..."
She laughed shook her hand
Her : Silindile listen babe Co-parenting requires
shared effort and shared intent. Consider the
prefix “co” – it means “together mutual in
common.” Narcissists do not share the same goals
as you. He cannot and do not put the child’s best
interest before their own maybe he does I don't
know but Trying to co-parent with Trey is like
trying to row a boat with one oar while the other
person uses theirs to slowly add water. Your boat
cannot go straight when you’re only paddling on
one side you can Try as best as you can bust still
your boat will go in circles stopping only when it
sinks."
Me : I know ... I know but maybe if I can talk to
him he will see that we need to coparent the right
way "
Her : how you going to do that when in your mind
you still believe that you two are still together "
I stood up this talk I was not ready for not now
not ever first it was Pam not even an hour ago
now Nola
Me: Nola not this again please "_

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Her : when if not now I'm tired of walking on egg
with you To be clear break-ups are hard on
everyone just accept it and move on and for the
sake of Zithelo just do it !!!"
I cry a lot this days and I just have no control over
my emotions and I wish people will stop gunning
on me I'm the victims here I was the one who got
dumped when I had a lot of expectations of happy
ending
Her: babe all along you have painted this beautiful
side of Trey that I also was fooled to believe but
just by looking at how he treats you I can tell he
was never a good guy you were intended to be
with in the first place his more of asshole and ...."
Me : please Nola stop calling him names ..."
I looked at her and she said something in Arabic
ooh god this friend of mine
Her:. When I say “narcissist” I’m not speaking in
hyperbole so it’s important that you pause for a
moment and really consider a few things Is your
ex controlling? Emotionally abusive? Insensibly
difficult? Does s/he minimize deny or shift the
blame? Does s/he try to intimidate or isolate you
or the children? And do they exhibit any signs of
parental alienation? If the answer is no great

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news! Your ex probably isn’t a narcissist and you
probably can find a path to peaceful co-parenting.
But if you answered yes to a few of those
indicators it’s likely time to give up the ship.. .
allow him to do this on his own and you need to
communicate with Pam or Veli for visitation right
..." She took her bag and walk out ... I sank down
on the floor trying so hard not to brake down but
failed miserably.
.
To be continue

Chapters 25

Trey
" OK baby how do we do this ?"
She giggled I just finished giving her Bath she was
dressed up but her hair was something I have
never Seen before it big red afro
Her ; pull it up daddy like this "
It did not even fit in her small hands as she
showed me
Me: ooh my princess like this " she giggled and
that alone melted my heart I love my baby so

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much and I enjoy this moment I have to share
with her bed time story bath times doing her hair
and watching cartoon's with her
Raising a child is no easy task and it can be more
daunting when you’re raising a daughter as a
single dad Without the emotional assistance of
another partner it can be challenging navigating
the complex emotions as well I fear about social
situations and changes my child has to go through
I wish I can meet common ground with Sli but the
way she acting I just can't deal I still hate that I
was not there when Zee was still in her mothers
tummy and the three years in her life I have
missed a lot and my main focus now is to be there
for her now yes I can to rewrite the past but I can
make it up in the present day I honestly thought
me and Sli had a short in this love thing
I tried to look pass everything that happened and
what my family thinks of her try to rekindle the
flame but it was just not the same we grew apart
'I' in fact did our relationship Just went pear-
shaped and my assumptions plans and dreams of
being a family man blow up in my face I care
about her no doubt but ... I don't know the spark
is just not there anymore

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Sadly as this may be but common occurrence to
most man ironically I was never prepared to cope
with this drift.
Me: well we all done "
She looked at her self in the mirror
Me: you like it"
Her : you the best daddy thank "
I punched the air and she giggled tunning around
to Hug me
Me : I told you that daddy can make a killer
ponytail. And I can paint your nails like a champ "
She nodded call me crazy or what not but when
ever I'm free I take my baby girl on a date its like
Dating her. I wish I could say I do this consistently
but even once every few months is better than
not at all. Dating your daughter is critical to
showing her how a man should treat a woman
once she reach that stage Call me old school but
on my dates with my girl I open the doors pay the
bills look them in the eye and tell her Her heart is
more beautiful than her appearance make her
feel like a million bucks. This doesn't have to cost
a ton of money. A walk around the block. A short
bike ride. A trip to the ice cream store. Doesn't
have to be fancy but again it must be intentional. .

226 | P a g e
. and yesterday we had a tea part with her dolls
and she painted my nails OK I got Somizi nails
right now but if it's make my baby happy I'm
happy
" good morning king and her princess "
Zee : koko !" She jumped and ran to her they
hugged and talked briefly she than kissed my
cheek and dash out its breakfast time with her
cousin
Koko : how you doing son "
Me : she a handful"
Her : wait till shes a teenager and tell Me if you
will not miss this days when she is still so young "
I laughed
Her : you good with her ... This parenting thing
comes natural to you "
Me: I just lean as I go along I hope I had a manual
"
She laughed
Me : she asked about her mom yesterday "
Koko set down in one of the coach in my room
Me : I don't think there will ever be an us ... And I
don't know how to tell Zee "
Her : no matter what's life has in store for you and
Silindile either you love her leave her take a

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second wife or decide to coparent with her
Zithelo must not be affected by your relationship
dispute she needs a worm home and love ... She
wants to be loved More then she wants the stuff
you can buy her or the things you can teach her
she wants you to love her. No one else on Earth
can assume your role as parent or daddy. Your
daughter will let you down make huge mistakes
and maybe even turn her back to you for a season
but don't ever let her doubt your love for her.
Look her in the eye and tell her you love her a Lots
she needs to know the know the cause of you and
her mother not being together "_
I nodded I continued to pic up Zee toys on my
room koko set there silently
Her ; have you spoken to your sister ?"
Me:I did few days back ....she coming today right
?"
She looked at me and looked down
Her : just call her please ... I'll go check up on the
kids"
Me ; koko ...she going to be OK right ?"
She just nodded with glassy eyes and walked out I
looked for my phone and dialed her number
Me : are you OK ? "

228 | P a g e
She laughed
Her : I'm pregnant Trey ... And have cancer so ya
im good "
Me ; don't play Like that Pam '
Her : stop worrying the minute I give birth I'll start
chemotherapy ... Enough about me how are the
wedding preparations going ooh I can't wait to
meet Sbahle Zoe and veli are bragging about the
Queen "
Me : she is very special and strange enough for
arrange marriage I fell in love with her and she
loves me too "
Her : you better thank me little brother I told you
to spend time with her and see if you will like her
or not but boom you fell in love ... Aish I'm so
happy for you "
Me : she just perfect Pam strict and straight
forward hotheaded and she has temper for days
its like I'm marring you " she giggled and started
coughing she was out if breath
Me: PaM ... Sisi ... Pam !!"
Her : I'm fine ... I'm fine " she breath out loud and
I found my self weak and holding my face I have
exhausted all my resources to get Pam the beast
treatment and Dr but they all say that nothing can

229 | P a g e
be done while she is still pregnant Pam loves her
unborn baby so much that I fear that it is slowly
killing herSbu is walking Zombi and drowns
himself in alcohol to avoid seeing his wife in that
stage I devoted my self to prayer only God can
help us now my mind was not interested in what
she was telling me about the visit she had from Sli
yesterday but she caught my attention when she
asked
Her : are you stringing her along Trey ?"
Me : what !!! ... No !"
Her : I know you Trey and women like Sli turn you
on ..."
Me : Pam you out of line"
Her : don't fuck with me I know for a fact that you
have an impact on how she is acting now I wish I
can smack her so hard seriously I don't get why
most high-powered woman prefer dating
someone toxic you know most successful women
actually have lower standards when it comes to
relationships. . . "
Her : I'm toxic ? "
Her : you my brother I know you and I'm glad you
meet a women like Sbahle she will sort you out "
I laughed honesty speaking Sbahle scares the shit

230 | P a g e
out out of me she has that look that strips my Igor
Her : I'm just glad you have girl child and your
habits and way should change little brother I may
not like sli for various reason but I don't condone
what you doing to her think of Zee you have an
influence on her future partner. Scary thought I
know but the kind of man you are to her mother
will have a direct impact on who she chooses to
marry some day. zee must beg you to marry her
when she grew up. And when you explain to her
that you already married to her amazing step
mother she must wish to have that too I know you
might fear of being the right man for Sbahle but
trust me If you're doing it right you will still be
with sbahle when Zee is all grown up "
Those words hit home for Me and as much as we
talk for another 15 min or so I was still wrapping
my head on that we finally said our goodbye and I
set in my bed just thinking and processing
everything I later jumped in the shower I ran to
my room to attend to my buzzing phone
Me : hello"
Sniffs
I looked at my screen it was " my Queen "
Me : Sbahle ... What's wrong ?"

231 | P a g e
she didn't say anything but just cried
me : I'm coming ... got to new house at the
development site ... I love you OK ... "
she sniffed again ...shit!
.
.
To to be continued

Chapter 26

Sbahle
Not every day you get to hear a person conspiring
to kill you or better yet wants you dead what I
heard proved my theory that my Uncle killed my
father but I wouldn't have put it pass him one bit
the signs were there just no proof or evidence .
my family's always been quite abusive both
emotionally and (rarely) physically towards me
Since my early childhood all I've been hearing at
home was screaming crying and blaming shifted
to everyone. No wonder I have grown to have this
stone heart.
On the other hand I knew my grandmother was

232 | P a g e
evil but for her to have a hand in my father death
that just shows that I don't know the people I call
family ... I was pacing up and down in my room I
felt Like screaming I kept asking my self why do
this people hate me so much first they killed my
father drove my sibling out of this house treat my
mother like trash and now they ganging against
me ...what have I done to deserve this life I sank
down and cried I cried for my fathers life that was
taken I cried for my mother who's constantly
abused my brothers whom I don't know if there
dead or alive I cry for myself the fate of my life
that I don't know which turn it will take
" hello "
I didn't even notice that I dialed his number
"_sbahle what's wrong "
Just to hear his voice I felt like crying even more
Him: I'm coming ..."
He told Me to go to the house we shared our first
kiss in after dropping the call I wiped my eyes and
stoop up ...
Him : the usual spot Nkosazana? " I nodded and
smiled it was one of the guards that always help
me sneak out I took my mountain bike and I rode
out of the royal realms normally when I ride up

233 | P a g e
hill i smiled and embrace the beauty of my village
but today my heart is heavy tears are blinding me
I'm walling out loud I'm just a ball of angry right
now
Mornings are quiet that I heard my cries echoed
on my ears I jumped off my bike I wiped my tears I
stood by the cliff and looked at the clean lake its
looks so Peaceful majestical and steady I wish my
heat can be like that as well .
The songbirds give a daily concert I looked up and
admired One of the most beautiful creations in
the world ' the sun' Its bright rays are seen by
every single one of us I closed my eyes as it slowly
worm my face . . . I'm tired of the toxic life I'm
leaving I wish my head could stop talking and be
quite the voices are too loud now I just wish to
find peace .
I took a deep breath I saw something like a light
glittering in the lake I felt like it was calling me my
eyes was glued on it I found myself taking off my
shoes and cloths i was left with only my
underwear I moved to the edge and dive in the
lake the water felt so good on my body my
attention shifted to cool water on my skin I
decided to dive in The water is clear and

234 | P a g e
refreshing I'm quite a good swimmer and I'm able
to hold my breath for few minutes under water I
was hypnotised by the strange light the most
beautiful stone it was shining on the floor of the
lake it was so beautiful that I just kept diving
down every time when I get close its looks to be
far from me to pic it up it looked like small
thousands ristal sparkling in blue and silver
colours the more I dive down the more it came to
life I froze when I released what it is. I had to
breath I was too dip under water my lungs were
about yo explode ooh my its beautiful its moved
its so big it danced and looked at me I panicked "
ooh my God " It moved close to me I found my
self loosing air I stated coughing and trying to
swim up but my eyes were fixed on this big snake
before me it change its face and it upper body
looked like human
" you not ready ... " my eyes felt heavy and light
were out
.
.
Trey ***
After speaking to Sbahle I dash into my closet I
jumped into navy chino pants white shirt and

235 | P a g e
powder blue sweater I put on my white Jordan
took my car keys looked for my wallet while
calling our pilot
" I need the bird in the air in 30 min time "
Him : destination sir? "
Me : KZN "
Him : I'm worming it up for you "
I was about to step outside my room when saw
someone springing something on top of Sbahle
drink and food she took it and drank it the face
was hidden from me but I noticed the bracelet on
the hand I saw small crawling ants look alike thing
on Sbahle body she started screaming she had
blisters and boils all over her face disturbing to
look at
Me : No !" I rushed out of my room and humped
into Koko outside my room
Her : come ..." I followed her
Me : I saw something "
Her : I sensed it ... Your wife is in danger "
Me : she called me crying ...
Her : ooh Nkosi yami ...that family don't want this
marriage to happened"
Me : what .... Why ? "
Koko : she was suppose to marry a useless being

236 | P a g e
that will drive her to suicide her future was not
suppose to turn our like this..."
Me : ngenzeni ... "
Koko : angazi mtanami ...khuluma ne thonga
lakho"_
We finally arrived at our back yard she opened
the ancestral room she took an enamel basin
filled it with water ...
Her : khuluma nethonga " the minute she said
that I felt this pounding headache i held my head
and kneel down koko took one of amabhayi
placed it over my shoulder
and lit impempho
I saw Gogo ndoni in the water
Her : she does not believe in our ways she is not
ready to go to the water she may not rise "
Me : ubani Lona omfisela okubi "
Gogo : his grandmother from her father side was
known for using dark magic before she died she
was evil and very bad hearted they buried her
face down so that she will never rise again but
when some one feels a hint of jealously or envies
her spirit act on those feeling but when some one
feels a hint of jealously or envies her spirit act on
those feeling someone in that house does not

237 | P a g e
want I Ndovukazi to marry you "
Me : ubani gogo "
Her : akubalulekile .... she just became one with
the water she not ready to know her true power
ngozozama ukumukhipha emanzini .... Shesha
mvelo call her name in the water she will have a
fighting will to come back if ezwa your voice "
I saw sbahle floating underwater with Ndon she
was not moving I started doing as instructed my
heart was beating so fast I was terrified
" Sbahle phuma emanzini ... vika Sbahle " I ran my
hands on the water " baby please ..."_
.
.
Sbahle ****
I don't know how but I heard Mvelo voice I slowly
opened my eyes the big yellow snake moving back
to the water
I was on the bedrock trying to catch my breath I
almost drowned ... No hold up I did drawn did this
snake help me ?crazy part is I did not even feel my
self losing my breath i busked in the solar energy
as the sunlight dries my body
Me : " what just happens "_
ooh God Mvelo! My memory came back He said I

238 | P a g e
must meet him at the house its a bit far so I
decided to request I was do tired when I arrived I
was still shocked that the house has Furniture
now I just drag my tired hungry self to the main
bedroom and slept
.
.
Narrated
Aunti Thabi found food on the table that looked
mouth watering
" take that Food to that lazy girl she has not left
her room today "
Aunti Thabi " yebo Ndlovukazi ..." She stopped
and looked at her
" ma ukhona umaka' Sbahle "
Queen : kokuqala angisiye unyoko ... And how
must I know about that women's where about I'm
not her keeper "
Her : uxolo ma...Ndovukazi "
Queen : kuyaphola ukudla ... Hambisa bo!!"
Aunt Thabi wandered why is queen doing in this
house alone yet alone preparing food for Sbahle
something was strange with this picture why was
the Queen mother giving a dahm that Sbahle eats
or not and most of this things on this plate was

239 | P a g e
not even Sbahle favorite food she knocked in her
room and she let her self in she smiled when she
notice that she sneaked out again she was not
about to let this lunch go to waist so she decided
to sit down an eat she took the empty plate down
stairs the Queen jumped from her seat
Queen : udlile "
Aunt T: yebo ma ... But she is not feeling well so
she is taking a nap "
Aunt Thabi noticed a smile on the Queen face that
was strange the women never smile at all
Queen : kuhle let me go ... Got things to do in my
house "
.
.
Sbahle ***
I woke up with a bad dream something was wrong
I saw Aunty Thabi telling me to be careful she
looked different not her usual self she had this
glow that was following her I looked around and I
found my self under Mvelo hold when did he get
here
Him : hi "
Me : hi"
He pulled me into a hug this was bone crushing

240 | P a g e
hug
Me : I can't breath "he chuckled
Him : I'm sorry I could not come on time ... I got
held up"_
Me : it ok it was bit crazy for me allow you to fly
across the country anyway "_
Him : I'm your man when you call I should leave
everything and come to you "
I rested my head on his chest I think I have found
my new peaceful place its in his arms silent was
loud that we would hear a pin drop I was debated
telling him about today's event and I don't know
why his so quiet today it's not like him at all .
Him : spit it out "
I looked at him
Him : what eating you up '
Me : I'm good Mnguni "
Him ; Mabhengu I'm not going to ask you twice "
His voice made me shake my heart beat moved
from my left side straight to my throat
Ohh I just found out that my grandmother and
uncle are conspiring on killing me and making
Nwabisa your new wife I got so angry that I ended
up jumping into the lake and saw a big snake that
looked like a human and I heard your voice calling

241 | P a g e
me to come out when I was about to drown ...
Him : who's is this Nwabisa " I jumped and sat up
straight
Me : Wait did I say everything out loud "
He side smile he is mad about what my family is
planning how can I be do stupid and say
everything out loud
Him : I know you will question what I'm going to
say but can you do me favour when I'm gone "
I looked at him as he stood up OK is this guy twins
with Kanye West fuck he dresses to kill the guy is
a fashion guru his body structure makes him looks
hot in what ever his got on he has that bracket
legs and when he walks damn people stop and
look at him he turned and looked at me
Him : don't pull your wall down for no one I see a
storm approaching and I'm not going to be around
to protect you but I trust that you will be just fine
just be a bit vigilant with who you open up too "
I frowned and looked at him he was serious
Me : I don't understand "
Him : you know your family more then I do ...
Follow that gut inside of you it never lies "
I nodded
Him : so tell me why diving ? "

242 | P a g e
Did he just drop a boom on me and changed the
subject just like that
Me : “ it was suppose to be a swim water helps
me think "
Him : “ what time was that ? “
Hallo is this an interrogation
Me : this morning after I called you "
Him : and you saw a snake ...big snake in the
water "_
I looked at him and his eyes were fixed on mine
Me : “ I'm not sure... why you asking me so many
question “
Him : I'm curious "
He side smile now I know his pissed because I'm
not being direct with him I nodded
Him : “ im talking alone now “ he hates it when I
don't use my mouth to respond I swear to god I'm
in love with a controlling Frick
Me : “ I don’t know what you expect me to say ....
Yes i saw a snake in the lake and i heard your
voice when i was drowning and crazy as it is the
snake saved my life ... “ I said with a pinch of
being annoyed he just looked at me
Me : I knew you going to think I'm crazy "
He crouched in front of Me and held my hands

243 | P a g e
Him : you truly are a chosen one .. You just meet
my great great great grandmother Ndoni Mnguni
.." He kissed my forehead " come let me feed
you"my mouth was just on the floor right now
what did he say ?
.
.
To be continued ****

Chapter 27

Sbahle ***
" you sure you don't want me to walk you in ?"
I looked at the time it was already after 18:00 my
phone has been buzzing non stop that man is
going to kill me a million thoughts was running in
my head about what I'm going to say to him
Him : “ should I be worried about your actions “
I shook my head
Him : do you ever say what you feel or you prefer
talking to your self and believing that everyone is
gunning over you ? ..."'
I breath out loud Mvelo always wants me to
explain my self to him all the time right now I

244 | P a g e
need to think how am I going to face the very
same people who I know they killed my father and
conspiring God knows what against my life
Me : “ im not much of talker Mvelo you should
know this about me by now “
Him : “ I bag to differ you are chatterbox in that
small head of yours You know I have calling right ?
and sometimes deep in the night i
I can hear you calling my name but How can I try
to help you woman If you go on hiding your pain
… Baby the tears on your pillow are real You can't
go on pretending to me when I can actually see
the pain right trough you talk to me please my
Queen “
I smiled but slowly wiped the smile on my face the
minute I saw cars going into my yard
" I have to go "
I looked at Mvelo with his Jordan on the
dashboard looking I'll kind of being chilled is he
even aware that I have crazy man in that house
who going to make my life a leaving hell from now
on because i disobeyed him and left the house
without his approval and to make it worse I’m
coming back at this time .
" ooh God "_

245 | P a g e
I saw the kings guards coming my way I wanted to
hide or run away … he greeted me and Mvelo
Mvelo : “ is everything OK ?"_
Him : “ yes sir ... Nkosazane uyadingeka endlini "_
I looked at mvelo he held my hand
Him : I got you ... Come let's go ..."
He got out from his side and walked to my side to
open the door for me I looked at him my feet
could not move
Him : Sbahle ? "
Me : I have bad feeling about this Mvelo “
He crouched in front of me and held my hand
Him : I know I have it too but babe Ignorance is
the mother of all poisons stop feeding your head
and believing that things are fixed and
permanent... This life is not permanent ... "_
I smiled and looked down
Him : rember i told you about my Aunt Nomakhezi
and how much she hated me and envied me for
my gift something I'm born with something that is
in my blood its no different than what you about
to walk into in that house people are bound to
hate you if they can not have what you have
Envy is a two-person relationship: I want what you
have. Jealousy is a three-person triangle: I want

246 | P a g e
therecognition you have from others. . . they all
want And what to take but it never meant for
them " isipho sakho is to be Queen to rule to be
the mother of valley its your birth right they may
try to snatch it from you but they will never
succeeded … because sonke sizelwe sifumbethe
different gifts "_
He held my cheek
Him : your smile will be there down fall kill them
with kindness babe"
I nodded “ thank you "
Him : just remember that Envy is the religion of
the mediocre. It comforts the condemned it
soothes their worries and finally it rots their souls
allowing them to justify their meanness and their
greed until it eats them inside out whatever
causes there suffering has its roots in the Three
Poisons: Ignorance Hate and Greed... Don't stood
to there level "
He pulled me to a hug I have leaned to allow him
to hug me funny how I have never pushed him
and how I feel comfortable and safe into his arms
" you sure you don’t want me to come with you ...
You know that angibasabi "
I shook my head and chuckled in his shoulder

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Me : I don't want them thinking I'm disrespecting
them our wedding is in few days times and to be
seen with you will be like sprinkling oil into fire
...but thank you for today I guess I needed to
armour up with what waits ahead "
Him : go get them tiger " he kissed my forehead
I giggled as I walked home I turned and find him
still looking at me I waved at him as i ran inside
the Royal yard
I got inside the house and found Didy walking up
and down like a headless chicken outside she
turned and looked at me I wanted to scream oh
how I missed her
Didy : where were you? Do you even know what
time is it now ?”
Ok not a response I was looking for
Me : not now Didy when did you get here ? "
Her : that not important ohh babe this people
want your head I feel like you need run away or
something better yet call yurt man to get you “
she was talking to fast and panic in her voice was
evidence
Me : what going on ?"
She shook her head she was shaking I have never
seen her like this she kept on pulling me way from

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the door if it was for her I would not enter the
house she was blocking me
Me : I'm not running away Dudu yini kwenzakalani
?"
She wanted to hug me but I sneezed and pushed
her away I don't get this hugging shit its either she
say what she has to say and stop with this physical
I affection bullshit besides this arms only belong
to my mother and Mvelo ...
Me ; why so many cars ? What happening ?" I was
getting impatient with her now
Her : ooh God you don't know!!.." she held her
mouth I heard a person crying hysterically inside
the house
" ooh God she was too young to young to die
what happens to her ? ... Ooh kodwa ngo mzukulu
Wami "
Didy : stop Sbahle " I pushed her aside and rushed
to the sitting room every Bhengu family member
was here they looked sad as if someone died the
Queen mother just walked in and was being all
dramatic with loud cries and no tears Nwabisa
eyes popped out when she saw me she pulled her
mother trying to make her stop but she was on
another level causing drama and drawing

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attention
Didy pulled me seat down next to her she held my
hand so tight
" umzukulu ?" My Uncle asked his eyes moved to
me and I swear to god I saw steam coming out of
his ears
Queen : ooh yes they told me to rush here
because sekunomshophi owenzekile awu dudu
maka Sbahle ... "
Me : what's going on?? "
Queen mother looked at Me as if she has seen a
Ghost ok I’m getting tired of this look
Uncle : ophumaphi Sbahle kunini sifunana nawe
just because the Mnguni pay lobola for you you
think you adult now busy doing what you want
Kwami ! " ooh shut it you pig this is my fathers
house nxa ! just because the Mnguni pay lobola
for you you think you adult now busy doing what
you want Kwami ! " ooh shut it you pig this is my
fathers house nxa ! futhi I’m not there why is this
women crying ?
He clicked his tongue I guess my facial expression
gave me way I looked down this was what I was a
afraid off this men humiliating me in front of the
whole family Mvelo keeps telling me to kill them

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with kindness njani if he constantly trying me
yooo his testing my patient now
Him : I asked you uphumaphi "
I couldn't look him in the eye even if I wanted to
Queen mother : so ubani kanti o’file ?? "
I shoot my eyes open and looked at her. I could
feel my uncles eyes on me and did not give a rat
ass I made sure I don't even look his direction
" Thabi is no more Ma we found her in the kitchen
floor "
Ooh my Gog no it can not be. No... No !!
Nwabisa : what happened to her "
Another aunt answer : it looked like food
poisoning because she she had white form coming
out of her mouth and blood coming out of her ear
her lips were blue “
Nwabisa : ooh my God !" I felt numb
Queen : ubekuphi kanti lo ?" There all turned to
look at me
What do I say ...I have no energy for this I just
need to lock my self in my room and cry who
could do this to her ?
Uncle : hhayi khuluma Mani Sbahle !!!" His voice
bold and loud I wiped my tears and looked at him
what do I have to do with what happens ? is my

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whereabouts going to bring her back ?
queen : kade ngasho ngathi lengane ikhohlakele
for all we know she poisoned her aunt "
mom : “ INI!! “
What the fuck !!
Nwabisa : with her Temper anything is possible
with Sbahle she once hit me with a glass "
" hawuuu " the room said OK what's going on
here ?
Didy : that a lie Nwabisa you know it !!"
Nwabisa : who you calling lie wena ain't I older
than you ??"
I was frozen in the spot my mouth was dry I
wanted to scream to every one and tell them
shove it where it does not shine we just lost Aunt
Thabi and already they looking for suspect just
because this is my mothers house its either me or
my mother who will be responsible for killing her
forgetting the parasite that come and go get in
the house I didn't want to look at my mother
because I know she probably crying there is
nothing that hurts me the most then to see tears
in her face .
Me : I went for a walk " I finally said “I left very
early and was gone since this morning i left the

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king and Queen mother talking in this very same
room when I left this morning“
Queen mother eyes were about to fall down I
looked at her directly in the eyes till she looked
always
" nakhoke umhlola wodwa lo you getting married
in few days time kumele engabe ugonqile
uhgamba ngo vivi ubuya at this time ? " one of the
Aunts said
Uncle : uyandinda yini wengane "
Queen mother : are you even going to ask such
because to me it quite obvious she is nondidwa
ubuyephike ? “
Ooh am I no longer a killer now I’m a bitch ? wow
this family does not stop to amaze me the thing
that come out of there mouth
Mom : “ sekwanele … ! everybody know s that
Sbahle loves the outdoor we should be preparing
for a funeral but you all here attaching my
daughter … “
I looked at mom wow when did she get her voice
back ?
I should be hurt by now but this whole fucked up
interrogation was too amusing to me I found my
self chickling inside Didy actually had to pinch me

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to stop laughing
Queen : you slowly forgetting your role in this
family wena ! “ she pointed a figure at my mother
“
Mom : “ I’m Queen last time I checked your reign
has long passed when the old king died … so be
careful when talking about roles and how you
address me “
Queen : “ yewena ukhuluma nobani kanjena …
vele lento yakho iyumbulali Even when her father
died she was last person seen with him ...
Ukhohlakele unehliziyo yomthakathi wen Bhengu
tell abantu Baka Mnguni about her before
ayosihlaza lapha I mean ziningi kabi izontombi
eziziphathe kahle laykhaya ezingagana kaMnguni
not this thing ... "
OK this bitch had gone to far including my father
name in this mediocre
I keep replaying those words in my head. I was
looking at Queen mother speak the things that
came out of her mouth did she perhaps forgot
that we just lost one of our own and already the
house has gang up on bring Sbahle down I know
for a fact that
Chronic blaming is a form of emotional abuse and

254 | P a g e
often hurts just as much as physical pain does.
Right now i feel helpless over the blamer and a
certain fear sets in I see my Uncle coming to my
direction. Just as any other blamer he sees
nothing wrong in blaming others for anything and
everything. When things go wrong in their own
lives someone else is always to blame and I'm in
the receiving end -- nothing is ever their fault.
They tend to be irrational therefore i just can't
reason with them when they already concluded
about me killing my own favorite aunt or better
yet me being the worse kind of a bitch but they
gone to far by involving my father name in all of
this just like a ticking boom I felt my anger going
from 0 to 100 in a split second ... It all make since
now
the Dream oh my God she was warning me about
this because she was already gone I felt a lone
tear stream down my face
" ukukhala ngeku kukusize ... Where were you and
you better tell me the truth or I will beat it out
from you uyezwa !! ? ?"
I looked at him his angry his eyes are full of hate I
stood up and looked at him in the eye I felt his
breathing change

255 | P a g e
Me : guilty people always blame others for there
own mess Let's face it being blamed for
something i didnt do must really hurt me and
brake me down right ?....
I am innocent after all and its should hurts. But
truth is the one thing that survivers do is never to
be intimidated by vultures after all time and
recriminations have past is to face a killer in the
eye and say I did not do it but ask them if they did
it ...I mean what motive will I have to kill the only
person that ever showed me that she is family
and cared for me genuinely ...
I've learned that anyone who accuses me of
improper behavior is probably hiding something
You most probably have a personal issues against
me to pin this on me right ? so i have heard all
your blame your insult i knowing this may not
help much even so it is true. . . I don't care what
you think of me because jealousy insecurity and
low self-esteem are coursing through your veins.
The only way you can feel your own importance is
to spread lies insult abuse or gossip viciously
about Me and my mother bringing us down so
that you can feel better about who you really are
hungry greedy busted

256 | P a g e
He raised his hand attended to hit me
" lay one finger on her and that will be the last
thing you will ever do !!"
I looked behind my uncle and there stood my lion
king.
I smiled to my self " I know what you did and trust
me my existence will be your downfall "
.
.
To be continued

Chapter 28

Somewhere in Qwaqwa***
They entered as I slept. They called me by name
asking me to get up get dressed. They were on a
schedule. I was still hungover by sleep I kept
asking myself what going on my vision was blurry
shit my glasses where are they
something I rarely did I looked for them in panic
.the smell of cigarette and weed alarmed me that
this were not my classmate i panicked
" Who are you ??"
I tasted stale cigarettes hands on my cheek shit

257 | P a g e
got real my only hope was to get my cellphone
but How since I'm blind as a mule without my
spacs I looked around for my phone that was
suddenly missing Its charger hung from the outlet
I wearily asked if one of the two men now
standing in my room knew where it was of cause
They did they were on a schedule and we couldn’t
be late they kept on saying This is it my day to die
my gut feeling told me that what ever is behind
those door is my last day on earth
I heard one saying " Time’s up asshole"_
It was about 2:00 a.m. and the men grew agitated
they started pushing me around I so badly wanted
to turned away Nuzzling in my pillow just for the
last time. My father always told me that sleep will
be my death I guess he was right because death
came in night when I least expected it I remember
thinking this couldn’t be happening not to me.
The slapping the punching got me crying but my
mouth was covers I could not scream I tasted
blood and my stomach was badly injured I was
kicking trying to block my already bruised faced I
found shelter under my bed cover pulled it over
my head I was dizzy and I think I fell asleep for a
moment and awoke again when one of them

258 | P a g e
pulled off my covers . Grabbing one of the corners
I pulled hard and tried to bring the covers over my
head ... Maybe they will leave me already I'm
crying like a girl after all .
" I'm sorry ... I'm sorry " I kept saying for what
only God knows
" if you need money I can tell my uncle to give you
please I'm sorry ... Ooh God you hurting me "
A knee pressed into the small of my back and I
briefly convulsed. It fuckin hurt me so bad but it
was not compared on the helplessness me that
was suffocating The man seemed like he was
twice my height and ten times my weight. I could
feel everything all of him as he restrained me.
“I did not want to do this the hard way” he said. I
didn’t really know what this was why was he even
doing this When he let go of my arms and stood
up the meeker man stepped closer to the bed
" ngithe vuka nja!!! "
That deep Zulu accent it can not be missed I knew
it from somewhere ...
I was wearing my briefs and t-shirts and walking
on foot on the quit corridor only my sniffs and
silent Cry's were heard it was to quite the light
gave me a clear vision of the goons that were

259 | P a g e
dragging me out
The men reminded me of WWE wrestler both in
appearance and demeanor.
I was kicked and pushed I realised fighting was
just a waist of my time
" hamba !!" They will shout at me pulling me by
the arm
A could still feel the cold air rushed in blowing my
already shivering body as if walking on cold tiles
was painful trying walking on wet grass in June
month on your feet in Free State no school guard
was on site or any classmate this was planned I
knew this was a planned kidnapping this people
know who I am.
The door opened leading me outside I froze as the
Cold licked my face and crept under my clothes
spreading across my skin like the lacy tide on a
frigid winter beach. I licked my purple lips tinged
with blue and gently chattering teeth The biting
cold chilled my fingers into clumsy numbness the
cold seeped into my toes and spread painfully
throughout bare feet
I felt like crying they pushed me to walk i stopped
as I felt big hands grabbing me ...no that that was
not grabbing he actually hit me on my back I was

260 | P a g e
grabbed by my shirt and hit from behind and lost
my footing I found my face tasting the soil
" God if this my time take me now ... I can not
take this any more " i prayed in silence ... I prayed
for help ... For a miracle ... I was too weak I could
not even open my eyes the way my face was
badly bruised now i was cornered in the van with
gun pointed on my face I had no strength to fight
or cry for help now it was useless my fate was
close and I had accepted it.
My eyesight maybe be poor but my other senses
made me aware that I was not alone in this van I
heard someone coughing his breathing indicated
that they in pain like I am
“ hallo “
" this is not the time to cry ... When the car stop
will need to fight or run "
" Mlondi ?"
Him : I'm sorry I could not protect you "
What does he mean by that yes his big and grew
up fast and more Street smart then i will ever be
yes his big and grew up fast and more Street
smart then i will ever be but I'm still older then
him I should be saying that to him
Him : bafo ... Mom told us this day will come and

261 | P a g e
said we must run till we are ready to take back
what belong to us"
I could not believe what he just said I was afraid
really afraid... I'm not ready I can't fight I'm book
smart this life was not for me .
I was never much of a fighter or talker they say I
take after my father so I nodded even though he
can not see me I know he knew that I did not
agree to his plan there was so many question I
wanted to ask him but I knew better than to piss
my little brother off we in this shit together and as
always he has figured out who's the enemy.
The light in the street shined trough the window
and confirmed my suspicions he is badly beaten
up
They have done a number on him. He probably
ran his mouth like he usually does and fought
back and angered the abductors His once was
white T-shirt was now red with blood this was our
doom this was the end off us I pray for my mother
I will not see my sister I will not get the chance to
protect I hate this blood running trough my veins
our father cursed us because it has made me us
have all this enemies just because we have his
blood.

262 | P a g e
I was a shivering mess now I was rubbing my arms
trying to keep worm but no luck I felt a huge blow
on my cheek I must have fallen asleep I looked
around and my eyes landed on him I realised that
the car was no longer moving
“ finally the Prince is awake … I have been waiting
for this day my whole life …"
" fuck you ...you fat pig " Mlondi spit out
Him : I'm going to enjoy killing you the take over
has just begun "
I was still shocked at the man looking at me
" Malume ... Why ?" It came out as a whisper I
knew this man hates us but for him to kill us what
will he gain ? You know when you look at death in
the eye and trying to get all the answers and
death blinks first and you realize that nothing
seems impossible he is planning on kill us either
way.
Him : “ don’t act surprise this is more of take over
just like in the wild When a new male coalition
takes over a pride they always kill the prides' cubs
since they are not biologically related and do not
want to spend energy ensuring that other lions'
genes will be passed on … so this my boys what
I’m about to do is insuring my blood line … I

263 | P a g e
already took your father's seat I'm already fucking
your mother so hard than soon she will give me
an heir will pimp your sister to the highest bidder
but I just have no use for you two so goodbye"
Me : you sick busted " I tried jumping him but I fist
got to my face first made me fall back
Mlondi : you stupid old pig the difference in this
story is that me and you share the same blood ...
And already what you planning to do to us will be
no match what coming to you you already have a
wolf in that house that is slowly getting hungry for
blood ... You think killing us will get you what you
want ... Qawekazi will destroy you never
intimidate a women "
Me : you killed my father!!!"_
He laughed
Mlondi “ pull the trigger ...do it and see if you will
ever find peace you pathetic piece of shit ! “
I heard my brother cursing them while they beat
him to a pulp he was always the rebellious one his
younger than me and he is just a daredevil kind of
a person
" you going to wish you never said that "_
One of the goons said but what so respectful
about a man who takes power then earn it Mlondi

264 | P a g e
tried fighting every one of them was a ball of
crying mass looking at what this people were
doing to him
I Will admit it I was scared and I was pleading for
my brothers life they already dragged him out and
I have never seen people beat up a teenage boy
like this ganging on him kicking him punching him.
my uncle pulled out a gun pointed at unconscious
Mlodi who was laying life less on the ground I
used my last strength and jumped out of the van i
ran after him but he turned and pulled the trigger
at me I fall down and crawled on top on my
brother as the men fired his gun on my back they
rolled our lifeless body down the train tracks nd
that’s when I hit the tracks I fractured the bone in
my lower spine
I was loosing lot of blood I looked at Mlondi one
more time I heard heard gun shots and light was
out for me and i was unconscious …
I woke up screaming Mlondi name and realised I
was in my room
“ same dream “ my brother said walking in my
room handed me a glass of water
This shit happened 6 years ago but every day I
relive it as if it was yesterday

265 | P a g e
I sigh as he helped me sit up his face told me
there was something wrong
Me :what's wrong ?"
Him: we got two Zulu boys downstirs looking for
us "
Me : what ? ...do you think ...?"
Mlondi : no its not him ...I already did background
on them ..."
.
.
.narrated ***
Meanwhile Sbu and Banzi walked inside the office
it was just your typical office leather seat table
and CCTV screens
Sbu : how did you find them ?"
Banzi : I'm in a special forces and finding people is
my speciality "
" I heard you have been asking about me " mlondi
walked in he was big muscular buffed up tattoos
all over his arms his light skin and pink lips made
him the ladies man but there was something dark
about him
Sbu : it was more of looking for you "
Mlondi " its sounds like the same thing to me
...who are you and who sent you and how did you

266 | P a g e
find me ? "
His eyes was on Banzi he was sizing him up in fact
Banzi laughed " so many questions in one
sentence which one must we answer first ? "
Mlondi : I see you have a death wish "
Sbu : boys come down firstly it was not hard
finding you here mfethu you live e'qwaqwa and
you call your self Shaka the Zulu gangster "
Banzi chuckled
mlondi : you starting to piss me off!!" he pointed
at Banzi
Sbu : look it a nice name I like it "
mlondi : " can you get to the point and this bull
shit !!"
Banza : look I will love to answer all your
questions but Mlondi Bhengu it's time you went
back home "
Mlondi popped his eyes out he never thought that
he will ever here that name especially in this place
Him : who are you? "
Banzi : we friends of the man that is planing on
marriage your sister "
Him : my sister is happily married the last time I
checked '
Sbu seat down and crossed his leg

267 | P a g e
Sbu : so Sbahle name does not ring are bell ? "
" who are you vele? And tell us your business "
said a guy in wheelchair he looked older than the
guy behind the desk
Sbu looked at him and put two and two together
that the guy in wheelchair is Nsika Bhengu
Banzi : look to cut the matters short we know why
you ran away and we know what happens to you.
But leaving in hiding is over now your sister will
need yo to walk her down the isle ... And Nsika
your seat is waiting for you ...let's just say your
new brother in law just took your uncle or king
down "_
.
.
To be continued

Chapter 29

Sbahle ***
“ Sbahle “ he indicated with his head calling me to
his side the way he did it that was so HOT
If this was a movie I would have been running in
slow motion to his arms not everyday you get the

268 | P a g e
most hottest man saving you from the enemy I
felt so emotional as I ran to him and buried my
head on his chest tell me why I’m crying ? it more
of seeing him right here … ooh and not forgetting
my Aunt Thabi died and non of this ‘people are
moaning her death instead I’m the accused
number one
Him : “ are you ok ? “
I nodded
Uncle : “ what’s the meaning of this Mnguni!! "
Mvelo : sorry to come unannounced but"
This men of mine so humble and respectful
Uncle : who do you think you are walking in my
house as if you own it !!“
Mvelo and i chuckled yohh this man like claiming
things that are not his
Him : “ just came to get my wife your Highness “
So modest in his voice I dictates that his mocking
him
Queen mother : “ what …. ? you can not be
serious do you even know what this girl is capable
off ?...kuyimanje ...“ he cut her off
Mvelo : “ with all due respect lets not get to that
right now I didn't come for stories i just came to
get my wife and that it “

269 | P a g e
Uncle one : “ that’s not happening we have not
gave her away to you “
He held my hand
Mvelo : “ customary laws disagree with you I paid
bridal price for her so technically she is my
property now “
I don't like the sound of being owned like this but
the way he said it means that his got me
Uncle : our culture disagree with this laws of
yours ...so I may allow you speak to her but not in
this way you doing right now !"
Me : look king " he was annoyed now "
there is no perfect way then the now you raised a
hand on my wife and I'm not sure she will ever be
safe in this house "
Mvelo said with a chilled voice this men of mine
has a Queen on this chess game and was
calculating his move take yes Mvelo is good
looking got body to die for dress like a model but
to me that just a bonus of things that made me
fall for him ...you know there is nothing so sexy
like a man with brains wow
Uncle : she still my daughter And if needed be I
need to reprehend her "
Mvelo : by raising a hand at her ??"

270 | P a g e
Mvelo voice was loud got my uncle shaking a bit
Uncle : its my house my rules don't come here
and change our ways uyezwa !!"
“ No wander you Bhengu man run your mouth like
women its because you involve women in your
meetings ... Women if you may please excuse us “
that was Uncle Mzamo he was with another white
guy who looked like wow " sizzling " the room
became silent the minute this two walk in
Mvelo : “ take your Mother to the house I need to
have a word with your uncle “
Me : “ok “
He whispered in my ear “ trust me “
This man want me to miss all the fun really now
do I have to go?
I turned and looked at my mother I didn’t have to
say a word to her but she jumped on her feet
Queen : “ uyaphike wena ?because the king has
not Instructed us to move "
I have never seen my mother carry her self like
that before but she laughed
Mom : I will never disobey my in-laws what kind
of a mother will be "_
Queen : your victory laugh will be short leaved
when I tell them about what kind of daughter you

271 | P a g e
raised
Mom : try your level best Queen mother and see
where will that get you "
Queen: nxa "
Mom laughed again " I always told you that I will
have the last laugh... Don't get to upset and
increase your blood sugar level "
Uncle : “ Nontombi I didn't say you can leave "
Mom : I know ... But I'm leaving "
Uncle: if you walk out that door … “
Mom : “ uzowenzani ? beat me up ? rape me ?
curse me ? or what kill me ? bring it on
anginandaba I told you that the only thing that is
still keeping me alive in this house that has made
me endue everything this family put me trough is
my daughter and I’m glad that my late husband
chose a perfect suitor for her so right now i can do
what ever i want I'm sure what they came to talk
to you about is more important than this bucking
notice you doing ... "
Him : uthini ?"
“ haybooo ! “ the room said
Mom : speak to MY daughter in-laws be nice and
try to be a gentleman aish I forgot you don't have
that bone I inside of you "

272 | P a g e
she walked towards me I don’t know when or how
the queen mother stood up so fast but she
grabbed my mothers arm
Queen : “ you do not get to disrespect us like this
yezwa wena nondidwa “
I have never seen or head such a bitch slap like
that in my life it’s the kind of smack that will
definitely leave her deaf she fell Nwabisa rushed
to help her mother
Nwabisa : kodwa Aunti ungaze umshaye uma she
old and ...'
Mom : don't start with me wena girl you think I
haven't notice that you and your evil mother have
been conspiring to get Sbahle fiancée you think I
don't know that your arranged husband disowned
him self from his family when his family paid your
bridal price ...you tried so hard to be with him and
he rejected you ... Kuyimanje you sleepping with
your father in-law ....but jealousy got the best of
you when you saw the Mnguni you wanted what
my daughter have and you started spreading
fucked up rumours about Sbahle lesgodini "
Me : INI ?"_. I was beyond angry
Didy : I knew you were up to no Good you such s
pathetic bitch"

273 | P a g e
" Dudu !!!" That was her father
Nwabisa was crying mess she kneeled before my
mother lags
Mom : don't ever think about touching me with
does filthy hands wena !!"
Her : Maka'Sbahle I'm so sorry my. Mother forced
me to do all does things "
Queen : you such a stupid girl nxa... Thula Mani
vala lomlomo wakho"_
The people in the room were shocked like I was
Me : why ?"
Nwabisa : because you so young wazini ngokuba
undlokulu"
Me : wow !!"
Nwabisa : you don't deserve to be Queen ...look
at your self ..."
Didy mom : ukhohlakele Ntombazane !!"
Mom kicked her and she fell
Didy : “ Asshuuuu “ she was rolling on the floor
with laugher
I on the other hand had hands on my mouth the
eyes in this room were all out about to fall out
from there socket
Mvelo : “ Sbahle go now “ I nodded I pulled my
mother hand and we walked out

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Uncle : Nomtombi you will regret this day uyezwa
"
Mom : fuck you and the rest of your family nxa "
"Thixo ..."
" yooh "
' hayboo ithini umakoti " this people were
shocked that my mother insulted them
She was walking fast yet I thought this was my
escape but my mom just found a brake through
Me : are you OK " I held her arm she stopped and
looked at Me
“ ngikhathele ileyanja I have suffered so much
because of him and he think that everything i
have been trough I will take it just like that laying
down he got another thing coming my plan to
destroy him just started "
Me : mom please come down he is not that
special or worth your energy "
She place a hand on my cheek
Her : this is my fight baby and I have been
planning for years for this day and its finally here "
Me : I'm sorry you had to go through so much
because of me "
Her : I was fulfilling your father wishes he told me
to take care of you no matter what ... "_

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I hugged her as she cried
Me : its OK mom ..."
" Nontombi I'm I'm sorry you went trough all of
that with out us knowing " it was Dudu mom and
the other Aunts
Mom laughed and wiped her tears
Her : I knew most of you knew but decided to to
turn a blind eye on it"
I have seen my mother sad crying or feeling all
kind of weak but this crazy women standing next
to me right now I don’t know her
Mom :Just saying out loud makes me cringe.
You’re probably wondering why the hell I would
even consider staying took every expect of abuse
this family brought trough my life the answer is
right in front of you i was a widow forcefully
forced to marry a Man I did not love you say it
was culture.... that I may understand but seeing
me bruises up and spoken to not even in manner
that one will speak to his Dog what was that ?
Ignorance? As a women you decided to turn a
blind eye to domestic violence in this house "
Older Aunt : Nontombi I go trough what you go
trough every day because Down here in Royal
house domestic violence is common very common

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and I hate to say it but it has became norm here
as well. Everyone knows it happens. Some do
something about it more so though most don’t."
I was so shocked
One Aunt : It’s the culture. It’s just the way it is.
Does it make it right? Nope of course not. Is there
anything that can be done about it? Very little. .
we take it all in for the sake of our children ..."
Dudu : ooh my God i knew it my last visit here i
could hear it i thought my mind was playing tricks
on me Imagine the sounds of a fist hitting a
woman and her screaming in pain. I was horrified.
Having grown up in a house of violence I know
that sound all too well and all my emotions went
into overdrive I told my mother about it She said
This is not our home or our territory. We are
guest right now. Let’s go that the day we left for
Capetown ... Ooh my God how could you mom "
I froze in my shoes.
Mom : because she didn’t fucking care"
At that exact moment I saw a police pick up truck
and some few private cars parking outside my
yard
Didy : why mom why ? I urged you to please help
her. He’s hurting her!!!

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I was horrified that My jaw dropped.
Didy mom : its not easy being married to this
family to this royal man my child I have tried so
many things to help most women in this family
but i felt defeated and so so so sad. And helpless.
But not only that i hate tunning a blind eye and
saying this isn’t our home your father has
programmed that into my head for years now he
will constantly say that We are visitors here and
this is there culture"
Mom: not yours ? but ours !. It still doesn’t make
it right but it’s just the way it is right ??"
She looked down
Mom : Women are not held in high regard here.
They are to be used raped and beaten. Not all
don’t get me wrong but a lot of us are and we
pray just for helping hand and your had that has
the power but you listen to man ...its sad because
you have a girl child and women need to leave by
example "
Didy mom: I'm really sorry
Me : It’s all so frustrating and completely
heartbreaking that you were a silent killer this is
my country this is my home but will never say its
my culture. I am a stranger in this land and all I

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can do is keep trying I pray that I will never be
directly exposed to such violence again but if I am
I will once again be a voice for that women in
need and try to help her How can I turn a blind
eye? How can I ignore the screams and cries of a
woman being beaten? If I my self I'm also a
women . . "
I looked at mom "she is a surviver and I'm proud
to say that my mom is head strong got all of us
fooled that she is weak but just like smoke she
rise from the ashes " I held her hand " let's go
mom "
She took off her doke rocking her natural long hair
I hugged Didy or let's just say she hugged me
Me : I'll call you OK"
Her : you better ...take care babe "
I opened Mom's car and she jumped in the
passage seat I was not about to ask her if she ok
she clearly not ok she found her voice and alI i
could do is listen to her when she is ready to talk
Mom : what is the police commissioner doing
here ?"
She pointed at the police cars outside I wander
what my uncle is planning on doing I feared the
worse who called the policy and why ? I had to get

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my mother out of there she assaulted the Queen
and nwabisa infrount of room filled with
whiteness we arrived in Mvelo house later on
Mom : “ is this his house ? “
Me : “ yes mom … “
She nodded faintly smile
Me : go take a nap mom I'll cook you something "
We hugged " thank you sithandwa sami "
.
.
To be continued

Chapter 30

Mlondi***
The way I have always viewed the world was
trough the eyes of my parents be responsible go
to school go to college get a girlfriend marry her
and be a career / family man my brother used to
say he is still that perfect guy your perfect
gentlemen the kind of guy that most women will
love to call son in-law the family's Golden boy
yayaya !

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I wish that people could say the same about me
but on the other and naah...
" my house my rules my boy if you don't like it…
here is the door " my father used to say
" ngizokushaya Mlondo yezwa " my mom
" why you such a bully. Nxa " my big sister -
Thandiwe
" you so annoying get out of my room and leave
me alone ..." My big brother - Nsika
" you so cool big brother " princess Sbahle used to
say going back home got me having mixed feeling.
Memories from my past came rushing in I missed
my sisters so much I missed home and I hates that
our father died and left us with mess of his
family..
My parents teachings still live in me though and
ring in my ear I was taught to never forget my
identities and become mature adults most people
lose sight of who they truly are if there are raised
in perfect family and trough the eyes of there
parents ... My father told me to embrace who I
am Be strong when I’m weak. Be brave when I’m
scared. Be humble when I’m victorious stay strong
for my family no matter what take risk and don't
bow to no one rather die fighting then taking it

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lying down . My Mother told that when it comes
down to it you could be the most successful
person in the world but it will never satisfy you if
you not true to yourself.
Being a middle child has made me not need love
that much parents mostly focus their attention on
the first born last born or the soft weak child
“ Mlondi give your brother Jersey his feeling cold “
I remember my mom will say
Me : “ why mom ? “
Mom : “ because as much as his older then you he
will need you to be a big a brother to him you
were born to be brave courageous and strong so
I'm not saying be your brothers keeper but take
care of him when he need you the most “
I never thought what she said would come to
reality one day thinking back I was only 5 years
when she told me does exact same words . After
my father passing I knew that I have to step up
and men up .
You know this blood of mine… This surname …This
status almost killed me you know when the devil
is testing you and plans to bath in your blood just
to have that power over you ... That how that pig
felt when he stood before up speaking in biblical

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term " today we rejoice as you will watch me
bathe in the blood of my enemies."_talking like a
Supervillain as if Bathing in the blood of you
enemies is that easy as he said it.
First of all ‘bathe‘ means to wash by immersing
one’s body. Thus a supervillain will either have to
pack a portable bathtub or transport gallons of
blood and how practical is that yeah right!
....plans did go his way because he did not make
sure that we are really dead
I guess now The righteous shall rejoice when he
see the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the
blood of the wicked. [Psalm 58:10]... Hay don't
look at me like that I went to Sunday school .
For years I have calculated the pigs move and I
was not going seat and watch him take everything
for us that day Nsika took a bullet for me... for us
and by God's grace we still alive my brother lost
his legs and is wheelchair bound I lost my heart It
is said that all people are born good and that evil
is something that we learn. Yet there are so many
people who are just too good at being bad for it
not to be inherent and that just me right there . I
have lack of empathy and feeling for others makes
it impossible to believe that it wasn’t a trait I was

283 | P a g e
born with that why even today it's hard for Nsika
to believe that I’m cold hearted
No matter how long he has known me my own
blood brother probably don’t know anything real
about me then just me being his crazy loud mouth
brother who does not give a shit about anybody
else. I keep all aspects of my personal life and
personality separate and secret from many people
. It makes it much easier to refrain from growing
an attachment to others. . .and just like a
chameleons camouflage to the world.
.
To be honest I was never born to be like this but
life pushed me to it life was beautiful growing up
but dark cloud came over us
Sponsored
life was beautiful growing up but dark cloud came
over us there are days we slept with no food in
Our stomach no shelter over our head no cloths
on our back our body injured from the shooting
infection taking its place ...
I had to stop crying and start making money for
me and my brother at the age of 15 years I had
joined gang we were leaving in the shack then I
did not see a need to go back to school but made

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sure that Nsika finish his matric and Furthered his
studies being hotheaded and fearless made me
move rank in my gang when I turned 20 I was
gang leader made shit loud of money on illegal
business this blood money gave my brother his
qualification in Bcom accounting his now working
for some big logistic company and I'm so proud of
him I worry about his social life at times and hope
that he can move on from what happened 6 years
ago as I seat in this place looking outside the
window I wander if I will be able to control myself
from killing that man with my bare hands
" by the way thank you agreeing to cone with us
"_
Sbu said to me seating next to me I looked at
Nsika he was reading a book I knew i had to do
this for him to get closure maybe the nightmares
will stop
Me : it not like it was by choice "
Sbu : “ I know but tell me something why have
you not avenged what you uncle did to you “
I laughed and continued to look outside my
window
Me : “ who said I'm not ? "
I am killing him slowly with out him knowing Sbu

285 | P a g e
looked at me confused I was not going to go into
detail Not only am I very secretive about myself
that also applies with work projects . I love
keeping people in suspense you never really know
what I’m thinking or what’s my next move is.
Instilling this uncertainty in others gives me the
power of surprise when making my next move
Banzi : you know for gangster your dealings are
clean no criminal record no jail time … just tattoos
and this blond hair of yours “
This boy is really testing me
Me : “ because I aren’t no gangster I’m a business
man you dumb baboon stop hating on me it not
my fault that you ugly “
Banzi : wenja ...lalela LA ..."
Sbu : ok … ok gentleman cut it out! “
I bust out and laughed Banzi clicked his tongue
and moves to another seat
Sbu : “ you know that if you continue to push him
like this he will shoot you “
Me : “not if I shoot him first “
Sbu : “ you two are just the same …I give up might
as well kill each other “ I chuckled and I joined him
I was about to answer him when the pilot
announced that we need to buckle up as we

286 | P a g e
about to land we arrived in king shaka airport and
my heart started beating very fast
i made my way to Nsika I had to wheel him out
Me : you ok about this ?"
Nsika : I don't know and I'm unable to get hold of
Thandiwe "
Our big sister is the only one that knows that we
alive we call each other on dummy phones and
destroy them later
Me : I swear to God if this is set up kuzochitheka
igazi "
Him : can you come down we both knew this day
would come "
Me : yah I can believe princess is getting married "
Him : she probably hates us for leaving her its like
we abandoned her "
Me ; Mfethu don’t say that We left something of
ourselves behind when we left this place we
stayed here even though we were so far away.
And there are things in us that we can find again
only by going back to our birthplace she is all
grown up now the only thing we could do is talk
to her"
He nodded he was tapping his hand on his chair
he does this when his thing or nervous .

287 | P a g e
You know Finding ways to leave the past behind
you is often the hardest thing anyone can do. But
there are things you need to let go of because it’s
a necessary process to help one to survive But it
isn’t always an easy thing for most of us.
One thing I'm sure of is that I didn't run away or
hide I was in plain sight and waiting to strike. So in
other words I have successfully failed to let go and
leave the past behind because my hush childhood
experience made me the man I am today and im
like an animal craving blood right now .
I had to remind myself that leaving the past
behind didn’t mean I didn’t care about my mom
my sister I was protecting them in fact I just had
to adapt to life’s never-changing realities that my
family wants me dead.
I leave in my head most of the time just being
grateful and appreciate to have felt the love of
parent of worm home because I don't know if that
will ever be a reality for me in the future.
what life experience taught me is that home is
where the heart is …. And Bathakathi ready on
Not I’m coming for you .
.
.

288 | P a g e
To be continued

Chapter 31

Trey ***
Mzamo " apparently the reason we are here it's
because this morning we received a phone call
from our daughter in law crying "
Sbahle uncle : why was she crying? "
Mzamo : looks like she over heard you and your
mother having a heated chat about how she is not
good enough for our family "
Uncle ; don't tell me you believe that deceitful girl
she is trying by all means to get our of this
marriage and you are listen to her vindictive lies "
Mzamo : so you are not skimming and planing
something that maybe a treat to her life ?. . "
Queen : umbhedo lowo ...sizokwenzelani lokho ?"
Mzamo : can I stand ... In fact Let me stand ..."
Mzamo : you know why I hate greedy people? its
because there always want more think that they
have out smart every one else and they feel in
titled to have it all "

289 | P a g e
One uncle : I'm sorry but where you going with
this"_
Mzamo looked at him
Mzamo : do you know who we are ?"
He stood in front of Sbahle uncle ... " When you
look at us you see idiots with fat dip pockets that
you can milk... ? " Sbahle uncle laughed you know
that annoying Mocking laugh that made me angry
" I got my own money but by tradition vele you
need to pay a bride price and Sbahle is expensive
because she is also a princess "
Me : you talk about her as if she an item ?"_
Queen : listen hear boy you do not come here
with your fancy English and question our culture
?? "
Me : you know that the greatest enemy of
knowledge is not ignorance it is the illusion of
knowledge ..
you think you got this all figured out it's either you
underestimates or overestimates us your mind is
capable of being quick to judge "
Sba/uncle : looks like you also haven painted this
picture of us that we are after your money "_
Me : if its not the case than why you conspiring to
snatch this marriage from Sbahle after you

290 | P a g e
assumed who we are "_
Sba/uncle : how can we snatch something
esibikiwe nasedlozini "_
Me : I was coming to that " I snapped my figures "
thank you for reminding me of that so why you
think I'm more suited to be your in-laws instead of
Nontombi " I looked at the Queen mother One of
the most powerful means of communicating with
others non verbally is by calling up your most
piercing incisive eye contact.
I sometimes also call this the “death stare” or the
“predatory look.” It’s the ability to stare into
someone else and make her feel as though you’re
staring directly into her soul... This will make her
fear what you can see and give her unsettling
feeling about how much do you know about her
...already she is shifting uncomfortable on her sit i
got her where i want her ...she is scared terrified
she already calculating what im preparing to DO
her though she can only guess but never come up
with a conclusive answer but with a question that
ask " WHAT."
Queen : all I said was that ... She not good enough
to be Queen there I said it !!"
I chuckled and set back

291 | P a g e
Mzamo ; do you understand the nature and
consequence of your actions...you will do
anything to make sure she does not marry my
nephew here...right ?"_
Queen "honest fact I'm trying to help you here
saving you form that wicket child your nephew
deserve better "_
Sbahle uncle :I agree with the Queen mother and
we apologize if you feel that way about us
Mkhwenyana and please rest assured that what
ever lies that Sbahle feed you about this family its
not true we are highly respected people in this
community and our aliens with you is more
important we can not allow an irresponsible child
to destroy what we have built"
He looked at me rubbing his hands together
Austin yawned " and yet you said this was not
about money so you thought about this when
before or after you found our that Mvelo is king
?"
Queen : what did you say white boy?"
Mzamo : you see you Magogo I like you you are
an open book the problem with the rest of you is
that you underestimate your opponent but i cant
blame you you the most cunning bastard there

292 | P a g e
could be. "
Sba/Uncle : I'm not going to sit here and be
insulted by you fuck your money if you want to
withdraw from this arrangement do that ...there
are plenty fish in the sea that will take Sbahle
Me : take?"
I hate how he thinks that his in control of Sbahle
life
Him : my daughter my choice "
Me : I plan to merry her with or without your
blessing amginamsebenzi ukuthi what you think
of her ....and call her a thing or item you wish to
sell uzonya yezwa !!!"
Queen : yoo she has bewitch you loyamthakathi
"_
Me : she must have learned from the best ... She
leaned from you "
Queen : yoo nansi ingulube unginonela '
Austin : ooh God does she ever shut up !!"
" listen here boys that not how you address the
Queen " one man stood up
Austin : ooh fuck that shit she ain't no Queen of
mine " Austin pointed a finger at him you the
most cunning bastard there could be. "
Sba/Uncle : I'm not going to sit here and be

293 | P a g e
insulted by you fuck your money if you want to
withdraw from this arrangement do that ...there
are plenty fish in the sea that will take Sbahle
Me : take?"
I hate how he thinks that his in control of Sbahle
life
Him : my daughter my choice "
Me : I plan to merry her with or without your
blessing amginamsebenzi ukuthi what you think
of her ....and call her a thing or item you wish to
sell uzonya yezwa !!!"
Queen : yoo she has bewitch you loyamthakathi
"_
Me : she must have learned from the best ... She
leaned from you "
Queen : yoo nansi ingulube unginonela '
Austin : ooh God does she ever shut up !!"
" listen here boys that not how you address the
Queen " one man stood up
Austin : ooh fuck that shit she ain't no Queen of
mine " Austin pointed a finger at him voices were
raised every one talking over each other mind you
there only Three of us with about seven Zulu man
in this room Austin is a red neck the way he is so
pumped up right now he had even turned Red

294 | P a g e
Sbahle : Enough!!! Just shut the fuck up!!!... You
boys don't have respect you come to my fathers
house and speak to us like this !???.. We may not
be rich smart like you but we do not deserve to be
attacked in our own home by you. .phumani LA
!!!"
Mzamo set down
Mzamo : we still talking and raise your voice at me
one more time you and I will have a bigger
problem than what we have right now seat down
and listen to me !"
Fuck the way he said it he just made the whole
room submissive
Mzamo :...listen here I'm not attacking you but
telling you shit that you already know about your
self you trying so hard disguise yourselves as one
who is innocent and gullible or try to project a
different persona in the presence of others were
you not the one accusing My daughter in law for
murder few minutes ago ..."
"She was the last person seen with my wife we
were trying to get answers " one uncle said
looking down OK he is Thabi husband
Me : but accusing her of murder was it the right
thing to do?"_

295 | P a g e
Queen: trust me you don't know that girl she also
killed her father why is she always the last one to
be seen m with a person before they die?"_
I was angry I felt my heart beat changing
Me : uthini !!"
Queen : that girl is a bitch we only gave her away
because you insisted but she is a devil herself she
even has a mark on her back "
I ran my hands on my face
Mzamo whistled : maGogo that mouth of yours is
pushing my hand ... " he took out his phone and
typed a massage
Sba/Uncle : who you calling ?"_
Mzamo : again I'm going to ask you this Do you
know who I am ? Clearly you don't don't be fooled
by this expensive suite and thing we don't get our
hands dirty we kill for the ones we love ...you
have gone to far ...and right now princess Sbahle
is our own and ohh boy do we love her"
I saw the man in this room shake there heads this
people hate Sbahle what ever rubbish they have
been feed it has made them stereotype.
Mzamo : This greed jealousy and envy towards
Nontombis kids
Has kept you on your toes for years you did

296 | P a g e
unthinkable things and you got away with it your
so power hungry and your stupid minds gave you
the idea that you're untouchable and you got
sloppy or lazy to clean up your mess right now the
cops are searching your house maGogo for the
poison you used to kill the sweet Aunty Thabi oh
and Bhengu why would you but such a deadly
substance with your credit card "
Queen : INI!...." She stood up rushed to the
window she panicked when she saw the police
cars outside
Thank husband : ma you killed my wife ?"
The police siren made her panic even more
Queen : Bhengu do something !!!!.."
He just place his hands on his face
Me : what can he do because we believe that in
this very same house there is elephant and rhino
ivory ... Am I wrong father in law ? "
Another uncle : I'm not going down for this yezwa
!" he took out his gun and pointed at us
Austin : tell that to the constable ... "
Mzamo : do you have whiskey in this house ?"_
Thabi husband : you mother fucker you killed my
wife and that witch you call your mother " he
wanted to jump them but they held him back

297 | P a g e
Austin : ooh look I found the whisky " he was
holding a bottle whisky and three glasses
The commotion in the house made me chuckle
Queen mother was slapping Bhengu he was out of
it one uncle was crying on Mzamo feet
" I'm sorry please don't do this us we got families
.. Kids to support I can't go to jail " he was talking
to deaf ears
Austin : I took a sealed bottle you may never
know with this people "
Me : with all the money we gave him he stil buys
cheep stuff " we bust out and laugh
Queen : I said do something you stupid man "
" who are you " he finally asked reality kicked in
that shit just hit the fan
Me ; your worse nightmare ...."
Him : but why we have never done you wrong "
Mzamo : have you ever asked yourself why we
chose this family and we were willing to pay
anything to get Sibahle?"
I laughed and stood up after receiving a
notification from Sbu that there outside
Me : because as much as you can kill a person
igazi lomuntu liyakhuluma ... Through his kids "
The door open and Nsika was wheeled in by Sbu

298 | P a g e
Mlondi followed and walked in "hello family I'm
home!! Greet the party has started " he said the
faces in this room were priceless Queen mother
fainted ... I laughed
Me : my work here ...is done
.
.
To be continued

Chapter 32

Sbhle ***
mom took a nap while I made her food we have
been here for hours now but Mvelo has not called
or texted I was loosing my mind no doubt
curiosity was killing me I made my way to the
guest room and found mom just looking into
space
me : “ hay are you ok “
her : “ I’m not going back to that house “
she started braking down and I rushed to her
“ I cant I wont …”
Me : “ shuuuu mom I wont allow it mom I promise

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you I will not allow no one to force you to do
anything you don’t want to do …“
She just wailed I guess she is replaying the
traumatic experience she ever went trough in that
house I suck at comforting people and her tears
just cause me to tear up as well somehow I feel
like this was all my fault she stayed because of me
she suffered because of me. Looking from the
outside you would think when someone finally
escapes an abusive relationship the worst is over
No more torture No more hell. No more
emotional blackmail or physical violence. And
with the source of the hurt removed healing can
begin But after the external danger is gone and
the abuser is out of the picture the survivor’s
internal journey is only beginning And parts of it
can surprisingly be tougher and more painful in a
way than the suffering they endured at the hands
of their tormentor.
Her : 6 years of my life I spend in that house
hoping this day will come It was hell that bloody
mother fucker He tore me into shreds for 6 year …
6 years !!!. He abused me mentally physically
emotionally and sexually I lost friends family
anyone I was close to. He made sure he was the

300 | P a g e
only person in my life so that if he was gone I had
no one where am I going to start picking up the
pieces ?"
Me : by admitting you need help that is the first
step the rest will follow "
She wiped her tears and looked at me
Me : I'm so sorry you were alone... And you went
trough that a part of me wish i could take the pain
away "
Her : ooh baby ... You will know one day the
sacrifice a mother has to do for her children we
are born like that we protect we shield and we
give the most warmest love "
She held my face " I'll be ok baby ... It may Not
today tomorrow next month next year but one
day I will "
Me : I'm going to be right here next to you all the
way "
Her : I know sithandwa sami ... I just wish I can
find strength to pic up this million pieces I call my
life "_I held her hand
Me : look mom Leaving an abusive relationship
and trying to rebuild your life it’s a traumatic
journey . You will still have issues demons that
you will need to deal with on daily bases someday

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will be your highest happy as ever and care free
and some days will be your lows it's normal to feel
down once in a while but if you're sad most of the
time and it affects your daily life you may suffer
from clinical depression ...."
Her : stop warring to much baby ... I'll be ok "
Me : mom no ! you not ok and there is no shame
to say I'm not ok I'm grown women now about to
be Someone's wife stop treating me like a kid I
know you hurt confused sad and worse past
emotionally unstable let me help you now "
Her : Sbahle"
Me : mom all I’m trying to say is that let me walk
with you It’s not a quick process and you need
someone to
To guide you and help you understand how to
be gentle to yourself help others to understand if
they don’t get rid of toxic people in your life and
learn to love yourself. Do what is best for you and
don’t worry about what others think "
She stood up and walked to the balcony
Me : I already lost one parent because of that
family and I'm not going lose another...we going
to report him "
Her : you know I did try that reporting him asking

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for help but no one ever believed me or paid
attention to me If I could describe the impact and
aftermath of emotional abuse in one word it
would be invisible. Emotional abuse may leave no
physical marks but the depth of the scars and the
weight of the pain creates a burden that people
can’t see—or don’t want to see especially in my
case I was Queen had no right to speak I'll of the
king he had power and money and got away with
it he told his family that I'm wicked trying to taint
his name and the Bhengu name meeting was held
lesgodini and the people were told about my
actions I was called all sort of names even scared
to even leave the house buy my in-laws were
worse I took it all in there beatings did not hurt
me ... It may have left scars and bruises but what
hurt the most was the names his family will call
me … “
Me : “why did you agree to this mom? you knew
what kind of man he was … why you never left
mom ? ?"
She folded her arms and tried hugging herself
Her : it was arranged forced marriage for him to
get my husband estate I gave him excess to your
fathers business account so that he may set me

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free but in his twisted mind we were already in
love he was leaving in his own fantasy world
talking about our future and how long he waited
for us to be together but little did I know that he
was obsessed with me I removed my womb when
he told me I must give him an heir I told him to
take second wife since I can not give him children
after a year of him sexual violating me "
She laughed
Her : He said he will never love another women
the way he loves
I didn't know his medical records but I believe that
he was bipolar "
Me : mom ... You could have ran away ..."
Her : he told me that I will never see my boys
again he showed me picture of them being badly
beaten there was so much blood Mlondi stopped
moving he had a gun pointed at them "
Me ; ooh my God "
Her : so I stayed played a role a perfect wife three
years down the line I attempted to run away again
he told me nasty things that he will do to you and
he will later auction you to the highest bidder yet
again I stayed ...
I put you in that school to protect you not

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because I hate you only me had excess to visit you
he was furious ... I cut all visitation right and
wanted you be locked away because I rather
suffer alone than with you God knows i did not
truest him "
I hugged her from behind I was crying mess
Her :The turmoil was relentless. The few people I
shared this with were oblivious to any abuse.
Their empathy quickly turned to excuses for that
mans irrational behavior. They’d never witnessed
any of it so I am wondering if they ever really
believed me or maybe thought I exaggerated the
truth. The ups and downs became a regular gig in
the days and months of that shit I call a marriage.
It never stopped or slowed down. It was and is a
toxic cycle in any abusive relationships. There
were no normal days someone or something
would cause a trigger reaction where there would
be arguing threats and intimidation then denial
blaming and saying I caused him to act that way.
There was never an apology but there was always
a guaranteed silent treatment that followed and
lasted for days. The communication just stop as
obedient I responded with " yes baba " ...
" uma baba ethanda ngizokwenza "

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My voice was gone not that i did mind I was just
tired I became invisible as well as my feelings
parish into thin air
The times I wanted to leave were immeasurable.
He was an expert at convincing me I would never
make it on my own and that my kids hate me .
Self-doubt was inevitable. The abuse became such
a profound part of my life yet I stayed. The level
of toxicity increased through the years. I became
very depressed one thing that kept me going was
your smile wise words strong ability I saw your
father in you I lost so much Sbahle and I made a
decision that the minute you go to varsity I would
take my life .. "
Me : “ you stayed because of me ? “
Her : “ not you ... All of my children have you ever
heard that saying that says 'God could not be
every where but he a mother '. Blessed is a
mother that would give up part of her soul for her
children ... a mothers scarifies jump all boundaries
I had to protect you … you was the only thing that
made me take it all …. The man was psychopath
he used my children to have his way with me “
Me : I'm so sorry ma " I pulled her for a jug
Her : I'm free baby thank you ... "

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She free yes but she is still emotionally chained
we cried in each other arms I wish my father was
still alive mom need his hug
" ma " a big male voice echoed in our room
no...no it can not be !
I turned around and held my mouth in shock
Mom : Nsika ....is that you ?.....ooh Mtanami " she
cried and I looked at my brother tears gushing
down
I looked as they cried in each other arms he still
looks more like my grandfather round face big
eyes I wish I could see how tall he is but he was in
the wheelchair he kept saying his sorry his sorry ...
But he was the oldest boy in my mother children
but decide to Leave us
He never ever spoke up even when they sold
mom to that monster or even fought for for our
fathers legacy Nsika was 18 when our father died
surely he could have done something
" its OK my boy you here now "
" you went trough all that alone I'm really sorry
mom " ooh Fuck him what will sorry help ? But his
my brother his here if his in wheelchair chair may
mean that the pig put him there
Should i join in on a hug ?...should cry with them

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to I froze on the spot I didn't know what to do I
was born into a loving up-class family where were
sibling rivalries that surfaced daily but it was just
normal thing because our parents taught us to
love each other never sleep without resolving our
issues . But like most families the most important
things we were a strong as a team. As we grew up
some remained closer than others after my
fathers passing everything went south. My sister
was already married living in another country my
brother were living there own life and I became
daddy little girl he was my best friend and we
spend lot of time together .
The only time I remember where me and my
siblings were together it was my on sister
wedding there is a photo of us linking arms on
that day Smiling at the camera that was the last
time I recall having siblings.
And tragic hit us when we least expected Dad died
I looked around me and I notice that my world is
gone
When a parent dies as youngest i Needed my big
sister or big brother to seek solace from them .
Thandiwe was married did not even stay long
after the funeral Nsika just mourned alone and

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was on his own bubble Mlondi started a habit of
smoking and did God knows what him being high
all the time was no use for me no one step up or
shown any interest to help me immensely in the
healing process. Adjusting to the death of a
parent is made easier when you have siblings
going through the same grief together but yet
again i was alone this moment right here is bitter
sweet for me I miss my brother ...but do I really
need him now ? I looked up and saw mvelo
looking at me with a worry look I found my step I
passed mother and Son having a tearful emotional
reunion hugging and kissing mom thanking God
Nsika saying sorry i looked at him our eyes locked
as I passed him
" Princess ..." He called out he has my father voice
now I stopped but did not look at him
Him " Sbahle ...Sisi Wami ... Mtaka ma " He called
out again but I found my feet walking to the arms
of the man that I have known for few months but
has shown me that he will move heaven and earth
just to be with me
Him: its OK " he pulled me to his arms as we
walked to the main bedroom he took of his shoes
jumped in the bed and cuddle me his hold alone

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reassured me that I'm safe with him
Me : is Mlondi alive " I finally asked
Him : yes "
I held my breath thinking about him is he OK did
he lose a limp as well ?
Him : his fine Sthadwa sami ... "
I breath out
Me : where did you find them ?"
I know that his the one responsible for my
brothers coming back
Him : Qwaqwa ..."
I nodded I can feel his chest moving he has so may
questions about my actions back in the other
room but right now its not the time I don't know
how I feel
Me : please give me time ... I don't know how I
feel right now "
Him : its ok " he kissed my forehead
I closed my eyes wondering if it was not for this
man right here if he was not in my life would my
brothers have or would they have not come back
home ??
.
.
To be continue

310 | P a g e
Chapter 33

Mlondi ****
I had paid the Police commissioner to give me just
5 days with my Uncle he can arrest the rest I don't
give a fuck but this man here I still want to bond
with him I haven't touched him but I just had few
minutes of looking him in the eye just to instil fear
in him I had hoped that Nsika will find closure in
this fucked up reunion but expected he acted like
pussy and asked for Maka’Sbahle fuck my brother
is softy.
So here I am setting on the coffee table looking at
him
Me : “ bhoooooh ! ! ! “ he jumped and I bust out
and laughed
Me : “ you so funny wow that look …hold up did
you pee yourself ? ”
Him : you alive ? … but how ? I mean … “
Me : “no! I’m a ghost … “ I opened my eyes giving
a scary look I bust out and sniggered at his
expression
Me : “ it's crazy that you shot me four times and I
survived thinking about it who is on his right mind
shoot a teenage boy four times ? “

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He looked down I don’t want his pity or sorry right
now I want him to be the mighty man he was 6
years ago
Me : konje what did you call it? ………….” A TAKE
OVER ... BATH IN THE ENEMY BLOOD!1 “
I laughed at him the way his trembling right now
its so funny no high and mighty I see.
Even this day I could not believe that I surviving
numerous gunshots and miraculous I’m on my
feet… doctors who have treated my gunshot
wounds say that being shot is not automatically a
death sentence. .. but in my case I was suppose to
have been dead “It’s a matter of total straight luck
and I need to thank my God or Idlozi ”
Me : you know what the Dr told me ? “
He just looked at me
Me : ooh well I will tell you any way he said ‘ How
can I get so many bullets in my chest the groin the
abdomen and extremities and not have a lethal
injury its pretty remarkable”
Him : “ I’m really sorry I do not know what gotten
over me I swear to God I did not plan to kill you I
was badly influence by the Queen and the elders
they told me that if I do not kill you will kill me … “
Me : “ I do not believe that your sorry what I know

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for a fact is that you killed my father because you
wanted my mother you always have this
obsession and infatuation about her so you
decided to kill the competition .… and used us as
collateral for you to have your way with her “
“ I saw her first and your father took her from me
!!…. “ he road
I clapped my hands “ wow bravo now we getting
somewhere here is the man I wanted to see finally
you came out to play ! “
Him : “ fuck you busted .. What you going to do
kill me now!!! “
I touched my chest in shock
Me : “ weee hold your horses don’t get over
yourself death is way to easy for you my dearest
uncle … “
Him : “ I should have killed you ! “
Me : “ yah you should have …I know it hurt to see
me here … but guess what i'm loving it “
He chugged to me and tried punching me but I
punched him first he fell down and I gave him a
mother of kicks in his abdomen
Him : “ aahhhhh “
Me : “ I’m sorry … “ I kicked him
“ I didn’t to mean to hit you “ kick on the face

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“ so be a good boy and stay here “ kick so bad that
he started coughing blood
“ while consult with abaphansi on what I must do
to you who knows maybe the dead do not want
you either “ I spit on him bloody mother fucker
nxa
Him : you know if I get out of here I swear to GOD
I will destroy you “ he said crying in agony
Sbu walked in with plate of food he made himself
at home I see Banzi was somewhere in the house
on his phone … I have ordered that all the guards
and man that were working with my uncle to be
killed I wouldn’t have done this alone with out
Sunny he is one of the Guards that was my eyes
and ears in this place his father was a loyal
servant to my father and he told me that he will
do anything that will help take my Uncle down
Me : “ Sunny my man “
Him : “ Boy … it's done “
We fist bump
Sunny: “ I really missed getting my hands dirty
fuck what a trill “
I laughed and asked Sunny to take my uncle to the
back room I heard him cry in vain when I turned
around he was bleeding on the floor

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Me : “ what the fuck Sunny ??? “
Him : “ he was not cooperating when I asked him
to move “ Sunny wiped the knife with my uncles
shirt as he pulled him and dragged him
I looked at him he shrunk his shoulders me and
Sbu bust out and laughed
Me : I need to smoke dude you crazy “ I made
may my way out
.
.
I took out my lighter and plaid with it smoking in
my father yard will not be ideal move unless I
want him to jump off the grave and strangle me
fuck I need to quite this shit . I walked around my
birth place and a flood of memory rush in this
place has not changed that much its just looks like
more of an estate or gated community not like
olden days when this place use to have thousands
rondavel now it's big mansion house . I stopped
and looked at my father's house the lights were
on Sunny did tell Me that when Sbahle visit she
stays at my father house I looked at it debating if I
should walk in or not I continued walking …
i made my way to my father grave instead it's
clean I'm guessing maka Sbahle spend more days

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here then in her house I looked at the engrave
stone and a vase of fresh pink and white tulips
yep my mother was here this are her favourite
flower the engrave message on his tomb was so
touching I looked at it as if my father will just
show up I had a lot to say but didn't know where
to start yet again that same feeling I felt when he
died came back I felt blank and numb at his
funeral I wasn’t able to make myself cry even
though I knew people expected me to I just
couldn’t feel anything at all . I’m not sure if I was
angry that he died or angry at myself that I never
got the chance to bond with my father I was good
at making him angry but to have one on one
bonding session was one of those rare moments if
there were non at all.
For years after his passing I'd feel the same way –
hollowed out they say my mother's grief
remained raw and intense never diminishing as
the years passed I had witness glimpse of it before
we were shipped away to our doom I puzzled over
it at times as my parents had had so many stormy
arguments during my childhood. . . most of them I
was the caused
My father wanted to teach me how to be

316 | P a g e
responsible and discipline while my mother
argued that I’m still young he must let me be I will
find my footing when time comes It was only
when I became an adult that I realized love and
discord can often coexist this people love each
other but mostly loved there children more than
anything .
Over time that strange cold blankness inside me
melted away as I started to understand the
emotional cultural and social barriers that
prevented my father and I from truly knowing
each other I started to piece together things that I
had overlooked or taken for granted the gestures
and the few words or glances that cumulatively
indicated that we were dear to him. I smiled as I
reflecting on my life I remembered the day my
father took me to this very same family burial
ground
My Dad gazed around the cemetery and said:
“Look at all those stones Mlondi. Each one
represents a life. Marriages divorces losses
financial struggles successes. We all spend our
lives trying to avoid this place but death is
inevitable. I guess the trick is to live a good life.” I
never forgot my father’s remarks. We are all born

317 | P a g e
terminal as he used to say. . . looking at it now he
was indirectly preparing me for the day he will
pass on I moaned him like any other child will do
to his parent but I easy let go of holding on to him
and wishing his alive but lived through his
teaching I may not be perfect but I try never to
disappoint him he may not be around but I know
he is looking down on me .My father was a simple
men with a heart of Gold and lived for his family
loved us to death my Goal is to fill those big shoes
he left behind I have protected my brother and
now I need to do the same with my mother and
sister .
Its been 6 years since he passed What I regret the
most is how many times I just wanted to hug my
father and tell him how much I loved him. Pride
and ego got in the way but I’m here now I can not
change the past but I can leave for the now .
I breath out loud as I crouch down
Me: thank you for keeping our family safe I know
it was hard fighting an enemy called family ... I
hope you proud of the man I turned out to be ... I
miss and love baba Ka Sbahle "
wiped my tears and prayed " forgive me father for
I have seen I'm not perfect Remember that and

318 | P a g e
try to forgive me when I fail you. Lord please
forgive me for my sinning I ain't saying that I'm
finished but I'm praying in advance Cause the
devil is lie when he thinks I’m not going to avenge
my father's death and the agony my family went
trough "
I walked back to the house I felt a bit light then
when i walk in this yard I looked at my father's
house one more time before walking to my uncle
house to start the games of torture .
.
.
To be continued

Chapter 34

Sbahle ****
I woke up alone in my bed it was morning Mvelo
was not on sight but he left his scent lingering in
this room
I haven’t slept like this in years I felt so safe in his
arms that i just doze off and passed out.
I walk to the bathroom to do my hygiene process

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there was new toletrie and it was ‘oh so heavenly
product ‘ the same product i use only difference
this are new I smiled to myself and how did he
know this ?
I decided to jump in the bathtub and socked
myself .
Yesterday's event came rushing in and I found
myself going under water because they just
became to noisy
I don't know how on earth am I going to face my
brothers funny how i have relieved this day so
many times in my head but when it finally come I
don't know how to act what to do or what to say
am I angry sad disappointed or just happy … I
don’t know.
Two months from now would have marks 7 long
years since I last spoken or seen my siblings if they
did not show up yesterday . . . how do I deal with
that good lord I do not know .
This whole reuniting of family made me think of
my sister as well The last time I spoke to my sister
was at my fathers funeral
' be strong ok " she gave me a cold hug as if I was
wet or stinking she drove off to her posh lifestyle
she was in hurry going to Brazil with her husband

320 | P a g e
and was not going to be held back buy a funeral
and family feud .
I was 12 years old we she left we were years apart
but still she was my big sister a phone call would
have made my day once in a while But She was
“too busy” I tried to call her for several weeks and
sent many unanswered texts. When I open her
contact on my phone which hardly happens
anymore I saw trailing line of orphaned blue tick
massages from me to her .
I look at her Facebook stream every once in a
while when i had phone back then and I could see
that she seems to be enjoying life with no need
for a sister or mother. Photos of trips new cloths
new cars all the bling and the glam but no letter
no email no call to me just to see how I was
holding up .
It’s possible she will come around again my mom
will say but this time seems different This time
seems more final. I’m done riding this roller
coaster where she is the only one in the driver’s
seat I have told myself that I have no sister the
day of my memulo when she did not show up but
Told Nwabisa that she happy I'm finally moving
out from home and I must use this passage wisely

321 | P a g e
would it have been hard for her to tell me that.
And now I have this issue of my brother behind
that door. As much as fear that our circumstances
might have been similar we were under our
uncles oppression in different way but would they
have come back home Without me taking the lead
technically I did because Mvelo felt that as my
hubby he need to step up and make me happy
and change my living condition in that house so
now my brother are here and I need to reunite
and reconcile with them which seems unlikely
since I’ve always played the role of the initiator
I’m losing respect for this people who call
themself my siblings they just seems not care my
mother almost die in that house and was sinking
in depression she needed to be rescued but my
big sister turned a blind eye Nsika just did what he
does best and keep his head down . I understand
he was young then but hallo his grown ass man
now he could have made his move years back I
feel like this people I call my siblings There
disloyalty is repulsive towards me.
After drowning myself in endless thought I rose
under water that has turned cold which made me
ask myself how long was I under ?

322 | P a g e
After draining the tub I dried myself and wrapped
myself in towel when I stepped of the bath room I
found the sliding door open and Mvelo was
standing outside he was on his shorts and golf T-
shirt I love how thick and rich his hair is and that
he does not put that much effort in it it was let
loose but still looked so hot regardless he smelled
so good that I wish I could hug him he was on call
a video call
" but daddy you promise "
Him : I know pumpkin but i told you that the
Queen is not feeling well “
Her : did you rub her back and sang her lalabye
like you do to princess "
I could not see him but I could tell he was smiling
Zithelo is a talkative child for her age she bubble
Mvelo always say that she is like her big sister
Pam I listen to them talk and laugh it was
beautiful moment to watch Mvelo is great father
no doubt and sometimes I see my father in his in
him I guess it true that Women who enjoy good
childhood relationships with their fathers are
more likely to fall in love with a man that
resemble their dad
" I love you too pumkin"

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He turned around after blowing million of kisses
and our eyes meet his face light up when he speak
to his daughter
Him : ooh Good morning "
Me :morning "
Him : “ Zee say high “
Me: “ I heard … “
Him : “ how long have you been standing there “
Me : “ long enough ... “
He side smiled he did not move but continued to
look at me he rested on his side and lean on the
door frame he looked at me from toe to head ooh
shoot I'm only wearing a towel a very short towel
he chew his inside cheek I need to run fast
Him :wow you got beautiful legs "
" thank you " I looked around … yes closet now
Sbahle I rushed to the closet but felt hands touch
my shoulder I froze ooh God his hands ran on my
back he did not talk but the gentle feeling of his
hands on my bereskin gave me tingling feeling it
was like he was touching something that's fragile
he caressed me so softly it was like he was
touching something that's fragile he caressed me
so softly careful intentional and thoughtfully My
body immediately felt things I did not know they

324 | P a g e
existed his touch relays a multitude of messages
from sexual attraction to deep admiration … I did
not know what he was doing and why his hand
suddenly stroke my back gently he gently loosen
my towel I gasped and grabbed it on my chest so
tight my back was exposed I felt the towel rest on
my waist.
" its beautiful ...." He said in my ear " you are
beautiful " .... He continue to take my breath
away by each whisper and touch I could feel his
breath on my skin Warmth radiating through me
and really contented like I’m wrapped in a warm
blanket instead. Yet so nervous and completely
vulnerable. I then become aware of what I’m
feeling and i feel shame straight after I
desperately hoped that he does not pic up how
such a small act has such a huge affect on me I
was getting redder and prayed that my facial
colour doesn’t betray me .
Him : baby what does it mean?"
I was lost I felt him moving my towel up and I
pulled it and re-tie it up I felt volcano on my body
erupting why my felling like this wait what did he
ask me ? I was nervous but yet I wish his hands
were still on my bare skin I could not face him I’m

325 | P a g e
scared on what might happened ooh God am I
really arose ?
His lips were on my neck. He kissed me I held my
breath letting out a whisper of sound he is way to
tall and I feel like a midget under his hold he
hugged me from behind his heart rate was
beating abnormally fast as well
Him : the tattoo babe what does it mean "
Where is this damn voice when you need it
And why am I suddenly feeling like this with him ?
I mean I have held his hand and even cuddled
with him never once has he been this close to me
to my skin I was hot my breathing change shit I
gotta pee
" I…i..t ...I..its my father name "
He kissed my neck
Him : its beautiful stop hiding it. . . I asked Zoe to
buy you few clothes since you and her have same
taste hope you will find everything in the closet "
Me : “ what ?... I mean how ? “ I turned
And he attacked me with a kiss and left me
panting after few minutes
Him : “I think you need to go get dress “
I nodded
Me : thank you " he kissed my cheek

326 | P a g e
Him : go get dressed ... “ he popped his eyes and I
giggled I dashed off I entered the closet I placed
my back on the door
" what the fuck was that ?" I held my neck where
his lip left wet kissed and my cheek I opened my
eyes coming down from my high
Me : “ hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhha! “
Him : “ what’s wrong …. “ he asked on the other
room
Me : Nothing im good … “ he chuckled
I almost dropped down when I realised how full
the closet was this is not few clothes I ran my
hands on top jeans dresses tops and my favourite
shoes tackiest snickers I jumped up and down in
excitement ooh God its like I died and woke up in
closet heaven I jumped into baby pink above the
knee dress. It hugged me and show off my assets I
let my braids lose dragged my flops and I was out
surprisingly Mvelo was still in our room laying on
his back on the couch with his knees high he was
on his phone should I be worried about him
always on his phone every time he gets a moment
away from me ?
" spit it out "
Me : mmm" he did not look at me

327 | P a g e
Him : I could sense that your getting worked out
about some...wow " he did not finish he was
looking at me
He dropped his mouth I pulled my hair up to
messy bun
Him : now can I get my morning kiss "
Me : only in on one condition…..you put that thing
away from you …. " he threw his phone on the
bed
He pat a space next to him I moved to him and
within a split seconds he flip me over and we
exchanging spit it was slow ..and soooo good it
felt like heaven " I love this dress on you " he said
between kiss so this is how love feels like I was
flouting it like I had no problems no worries in the
world this time right here only belong to us
Him : “ can you believe that we getting married in
2 days from now “
I popped my eyes and buried my face on his chest
as he chuckled
.
.to be continued

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Chapter 35

Sbahle***
I was laughing mess Mvelo is crazy when he likes
we have been locked up in this room for hours
now our stomach was rumbling with hunger we
both avoiding the pink elephant in the other room
my brothers are downstairs and Mvelo was afraid
of my mom but mostly my brothers it was not
being afraid per say but I know that he just
wanted to avoid them because of respect
As much as he paid Lobola for me but I'm still the
last born and knowing my brothers they will fuss
over me and make this situation even more
awkward then it already is
I rested my head on his chest and he played with
my braids this right here felt so right have a lot of
hyperactive sometimes anxious voices in my head
pretty much all the time. I knew when I realized
that when we're together the extra voices go
silent and I just feel very peaceful and warm.
When I look at him I just feel this really solid
feeling — this sort of strong feeling of deep
satisfaction with hints of pride that doesn't feel
vulnerable to doubt or speculation — I'd known

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him for almost three months we have spend few
days in each other arms and I told him I thought
that I was in the process of falling in love with him
and he just said 'I love you too just sealed the deal
I'm no expect in love but Mvelo and I connect in a
more spiritual level.
making up with him has made me feel some kind
of way the rush my body gets when our body
connect is out of this world
“ I’m not walking out of here alone “
Him : “ I need to helicopter to come and get me
from the balcony “
I bust out and laugh
Him " now even your mom is going to look at me
funny look how red your cheeks look "
Me : uyaphapha nje "
Him : your nutcase brother will shoot me no
doubt "
Me : I wish mom was alone behind those doors "
Him : “ im so hungry right now “
And on queue his stomach grumbled i untangle
my self from his hold
Him : uyaphi "
Me : we need to go eat "_
as his soon to be wife it's my responsibility to feed

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him hay don’t look at me like that I was raised by
a good women and some of her trades rub on to
me
Me : “ come lets face the music “
He pulled me back to his hold
Me : “ Mvelo … we can hide here forever “
Him : no hle-hle look at the time it's after 9:00
already what they going to think I was doing to
you here "
I bust out and laugh I love how he calls me HLE-
HLE I have realised that I have different nickname
for every mood or occasion with him when he
tells me he loves me or boost my self-esteem he
calls me Ndlokulu or Ndlovukazi when I make him
angry I'm Mabhengu and I believe that hle-hle is
my bedroom name because he calls me that when
he looks at me with lustful eyes he looks sexy with
semi opened eyes
Me : come let's go eat … “
Him : “ i'm taking you out for breakfast “
I stood up and fixed my dress “ that wasting
money you have enough food to feed the village
in this house … “
Him : but is ideal that my my mother in law cook
for me ? "

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Me : I give up I will go dish up for you me "
Him : and what they going to say ... That making
matters worse "
I placed my hands on my waist all along his eyes
were on me he bit his inner cheek
Me : “ I now that look .. not happening … “
He laughed out loud “ haybo ngenzeni ? “
He said with a side smile Jesus come save me I
squinted my eyes and shook my heart he jumped
up on his feet I stated moving backwards
Him : you come rocking up in here with this sexy
number and you think I will keep my hands to
myself...never ! " I do not trust myself when he
speaks like this I found myself slowly walking
away from him but could not get far as he held my
waist
Him : damn you sexy " he whispered I blushed and
looked down it not what he said but the way he
said it that got me feeling some kind of a way ever
since Mvelo came to my life he showers me with
compliments I knew I'm beautiful but I was never
comfortable with my looks that why I hide under
baggy clothes and boyish look and this man came
along and made me step out of my shell Let’s be
real words carry so much energy and depending

332 | P a g e
on the love language there are certain things your
partner says that hits you to your core and boost
your confidence right now I feel like a million
bucks
Me : you know flattery won't get you anywhere
..."
Him: I prefer your lips on mine then you
challenging me "
I dropped my mouth open and without invitation
he already attacked me Never in my entire life I
have seen or thought that I’m sexy and to hear
him say it I personally think it’s one of the sexiest
things any man can say to women . There is so
much certainty and desire in that one phrase.
Such a turn on! Jesus Christ I am turned on my
panty liner is wet what has this man turn me into I
need to stop locking lips with him right now I
pulled out of his juicy lips slowly ...
Him : mmmm"
I slowly pull away from his hold but he pulled me
closer his hands are strong he started tickling me
when I pulled a face on him I wiggle out of his
hold even had tears on my eyes due to laughter I
ran towards the door wow I escape if I stayed any
longer in that room I don’t know what would have

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happened Mvelo is so hypnotic and I’m just
trapped in his lustful power over me
Him : “ you know that you can never run away
from me forever “
Me : I know ..." I shouted back
I started laughing as he ran after me he caught up
with me by the hallway
Me : “ as long as I have legs to run … “
Him : “ I let you win you can never outrun me …..
one day is one day“
We both laughed
The room became silent when we walk in there
were seated in dining table this looks like perfect
picture if only my Father and sister was around
the looks I got were mixed mom smiled Nsika
looked down he was still sad about me not
welcoming him last night Mlondi on the other
hand wow his so grown up what the fuck is he
wearing and blond hair for real ?
Mvelo : sanibonani "
Only mom and Nsika greeted him back shit now
what
Mom : I made breakfast I hope you don't mind "
Mvelo : not at all Ndlovukazi ... I'm glad you made
yourself at home "

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Mom : thank you Mtanami ... But please call me
"Ma"
Mvelo: yebo Ma "
Mom smiled
Her : Come join us please "
Mveli : thank you " I held his hand tighter as we
walked to the table breakfast was awkward mom
and Nsika were talking Mvelo joined in here and
there Mlondi was just looking at me with folded
arms
“ so you decided to lock my sister in the room till
this time “
I looked up it was Mlondi
Mvelo : “ I’m really sorry I know this may look like
I disrespected you Ma but Sbahle was not well “
ma : i understand ..."
Mlondi :”hold up why you apologizing to my
mother alone because I'm talking to you !!!"
I felt like rolling my eyes at him I opened my
mouth but his look made me shut it
Mvelo just looked at him and drank his juice this is
going to go side ways this two are arrogant and no
one will bow for another
Mlondi : “kahle ... Kahle what’s your intention
with my sister ... “

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Mvelo : “ excuse you ? “
Mom : cut it off Mlondi "
Mlondi : I mean It's an arranged marriage there is
no love so nje find me I'm lost ....ninzani vele ?"
me : wow !"
Mvelo laughed and wiped his hands "
Mlondi: “ I don’t like repeating myself “
Mveli kissed my cheek
Mlondi : OK Mr let me make this clear to you ...
Sbahle is not ready for this sham you call a
marriage "
Me : so you decided to crawl out from that rock
you were hiding under and gave yourself a role of
being my father last time check the only parent or
family I have is my mother “
Mvelo : “ Sbahle … “ he said softly
Mlondi “ I was not talking to you can't you see
that amadoda ayakhuluma “
Me : “ I don’t see no man here than the men
sitting next to me All I see are just boys that ran
when the tough got going!! “
Mom : Sbahle !!!"_
Mlondi : haywena ..." He stood up
Mvelo: I need to make a call " he looked at my
mom " thank you ma for breakfast "

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Mom smiled
Mlondi : just try to have talk with your brother
without fighting "
Nsika : may I have a word with you please " he
said to Mvelo and they walked out
Mlondi : this wedding is off!! "
Mom : INI ?"
Him : the person who arranged this shit is out of
the picture now "
Mom : what does that suppose to mean ?"
Me : what ??"
Him : you not marrying that guy "
Me: Mom !!"_
Mom : Mlondi you out of line ...
Him: ' don't tell me you falling for irasta?"
Me : look who's talking you got white boys hair "
Him : haybo are you talking to me ? " he laughed
he was annoyed ... " you going to listen and you
going to make sure uyangizwa yezwa ...
Me : “ I don’t answer to you and I ain't listening to
shit you about to sat "
Him : Sbahle I'm warning you!" He pointed a
finger at me
My mom started laughing and clapping her hands
Mom : “ I guess some things never change you

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two still quarrel like monkey's ooh my God its
been a while since I heard such beautiful noise “
she started crying I rushed to her
Me : “ im sorry mom Please don’t cry “ I engulfed
her in a hug
Mlondi : “ look what you did ? “
I looked up “ me ? “
Mom : ooh come on you two this are tears of Joy
and stop acting stupid must I remind you we have
a guest outside “
Me : technically mom we are his guest we are in
his house “
Mom : “ ooh shut up “ we bust out and laughed “
Mlondi is so annoying
Mlondi : I don't see a need for this wedding to go
on mom Sbahle is young she supposed to go to
school and leave her life .... That guy is not good
for her I know a fuck boy when I see one we don't
even know his intention "
Me : “ his intention is to marry me I become a
Queen give him 10 children and leave happily ever
after … happy ?”
Mlondi : “ what the fuck is wrong with you ? “
mom : language mlondi !!!"
Me : “ stop acting like my father !! … you have no

338 | P a g e
right coming into my life and telling me what to
do "
Him : “ Ngimdala Sbahle “
Me : “ than act like it … nxa !"
I exited the room I threw myself on the bed I hate
it when I’m this angry usually it is because I am
too emotionally tired and so drained of all energy
that I just can't even bring myself to cry I find
myself doing Dry crying and it's so horrible I feel
numb my body doesn't want to be upset about
my brother coming back or even worse Mlondi
trying to tell me what's right or wrong in my life
When I saw them few minutes back I so wish I can
just run to them and hug them but it's so hard
when I needed them the most there were not
there.
Mom : “ is it safe to come in “
Mom asked waving a white napkin
Me : “ mom “
She walked in with plate of food and set next to
me
Her : “ what wrong my baby in thought you will be
happy to see your brothers but you have this
anger this hurt inside of you “
Me : “ there were not there for you mom “

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Her : “ I did not bring my children to this world to
rescuer me “
I shook my head
Her : “ listen hear … So much is changing so
quickly in your life I get that One of the things that
is changing quickly is how deeply you seem to
hate another it’s almost as if you fuel the
outraged thought each time you get mad I've
tried so much not to allow my circumstance affect
you but looks like i failed miserable I'm trying so
hard to reprimand you but well it’s just wearying.
Sometimes it feels like the outrage just waits to
jump on whatever issue at hand It’s a parasite
looking for the next animal to suck dry.
So what’s going on? How did you end up this
way?
Was it me ?
And is there anything that you and I can do about
it?
Me : “ I’m just mad maka Sibahle “
Her : i understand but you need to cry it out
scream but mostly just let it go we can not hold
things that happened in the past everything that
happened sweetheart was made to shape us to be
the women we are today forgive your brothers

340 | P a g e
there are more of victims as you are to the mess
created by me and your father if you want to be
angry be angry at me “
I looked at her with glassy eyes no matter how I
want to cry right now I know for fact that tears
will not come out
Her : “ one of my son came back in chair and the
other I can not recognised at all they grew up the
hard way maybe even worse than us but today
they came back all we can do is thank God that
there are alive … “
She pulled me for a hug and brushed my back it
hurts too much to cry I think everyone has a point
where tears are harder than the problem that's
causing them yes I missed my brothers but still
feel a tingle of hate and anger towards them
Her : It is time to move on and shed away the
layer of your life that is making you upset. Fix the
issue or just find something to make you better!
Sometimes you just don't have enough power to
cry because of anger it doesn't mean that you are
not being hurt by this situation. You don't have to
cry with your eyes to count it as a real cry
sometimes it hurts so bad that you can't even put
it out in tears so do what your father taught you "

341 | P a g e
Me : I have never touched a sketch book since I
was 12...since that day ...."
Her : I know but your father taught you art for a
reason out of all his children you the one that
took after him "
Mlondi walked in without knocking this guy really
is he even one of my mother children I frowned
Him : there is black guy that talks like a white man
requesting to speak to you "
Mom : ooh it must be Sbahle in-laws " she kissed
my cheek and rushed out
I was not in a mood for Mlondi but did he move
no he just stood there and looked at me
Him : Ntombi kayise " I looked at him only my
father user to call me like that
" I'm not leaving this room till you forgive me
....but let me start by saying I'm sorry ..."
I looked down and played with my hands our of
my siblings me and Mlondi we were always close
he was more of my best friend
Me : I 'm not sure I like you brother of mine I want
to say I miss you and I understand. But I am sorry
You have affected me so deeply probably more
than I know. For a long time I have wanted to
scream "I hate you!" Most probably beat you up ..

342 | P a g e
But until now I have never wanted to say yes I
forgive you I think it is because feelings of rage
self-pity and disappointment covered my latent
sadness like a heavy blanket"
He kneeled in front of me
Him : ngiyaxolisa ...Ngcolosi!
Wena wakwaDlabazane
KwaNephu KwaLamula
Nyawo zigezwa ngamazolo
Ninenivuka nixubhe ngelala
Shongololo!
Ngabe siyakudla sesabimilenzelenze
Nyawo zeshongololo kaziphumuli
Sigampu!
Ngwane Ingwani ngwadi
Abayibone ngesongukuthiiwelile
Jali! Ninenilala nomunwe
Nivuke nikhwifilanga
Mmemezi kaHlangabeza
.
. to be continued

343 | P a g e
Chapter 36

Mvelo
When Nsika asked to speak with me I was I bit
nervous I guess it because he is Sbahle big brother
and I’m having a talk with him for the first time
Walking outside with him I had lot of mixed
emotions I did know what to expect his older then
me and I don’t know what he is thinking about
this whole arrangement of me and Sbahle getting
married.
I swear to God if he gives me that bull shit that
this wedding is not happening I will go crazy on
him you know the way Mlondi acted back in the
house it made me regret being a mediator to this
family but honestly speaking I did what I did for
my Queen and her mother and I just had enough
of that Pig thinking that he has an upper hand
over my .women
The last thing I ever want to see is Sbahle upset
crying or angry she tough cookie no doubt but I
like how she just becomes vulnerable with me
God is my whiteness that I have fallen hard for
Sbahle and I plan to marry her she is everything I
need in a women she strong outspoken not easily

344 | P a g e
intimidated she believes in culture and ancestors
she is like my soul mate just scratch that she is my
soulmate I find that when I speak to her she
finishes my sentences and when I’m thinking of
something she can just easily pick it up before I
utter the words out we can be miles away from
each other but she can still sense when I’m happy
not feeling well angry she not that much of talker
since she lives in her head most of the time but
she has given me the excess to her inner thoughts
and to be honest she one crazy women fuck I love
her.
You know growing up I used to think that
statement like “ you just know when you found
the one that she the one “ did not exist or was not
true I mean There is no way you can just KNOW as
soon as you meet someone! You don't know
anything about them! Fate isn't real!" so I thought
but little did I know that God has created
someone out there for me and we going to meet
in the most strangest way possible who would
have thought that I will fall in love with a girl I’m
arranged to marry to me I agreed to this to make
alliances with other kingdoms but it turned out
that our love was already written in the stars long

345 | P a g e
before I was even born.
Before Sbahle I dated other people. Most of them
honestly were terrible and I used to tap and go to
be honest my track record with women is fucked
up Many of them were just to clingy and had to
may expectation of me or the relationship I
thought I loved some of these people Maybe in
some way I did . But somehow I still never felt
fulfilled by it It was never enough It felt like forced
love although I knew none of them were "the
one" I'd lie to myself and to other people just to
make my life seem more perfect than it was.
Nsika : I'm sorry about how my brother acted back
there "
Nsika pulled me back to reality with him talking
Me : its OK ... I'm used to his kind if crazy "
He side smile
Him : I will like to thank you for what you did to
my family I ow you my life "
Me :don't sweat it bro"
He looked down
Him : mom tells me that you and Sbahle have
become very close "
I ran my hands on my head OK how do I answer
that

346 | P a g e
Him : so you really serious about marrying my
crazy sister "
Me : “ aish yah she a hothead no doubt but that
one of the things I love about her “
He looked at me as I set opposite him
Him : “ you love my sister “
That a stupid question to ask but he's my in-law
his the oldest brother and technically he carries
the title of the head of the family
Me : “ I do … “
Him : “ pardon me if I’m speaking out of team but
this marriage was arranged right ? “
Me : “ yes it was and I took time to know Sibahle
personally and she wise women and will make an
exceptional Queen I have lot to deal with on my
side so I need a person I can really on when I’m
away on business and that can handle the
Kingdom and my other businesses “
Him : “ she still young for such responsibility “
Me : “ I’m 22 years old and I’m a king have
international and local businesses to run I have a
child a family and whole village to take care off ….
I’m royalty and sometimes growing up fast is the
only option to keep your head above the water
for people like us …. “

347 | P a g e
He nodded and looked down a family and whole
village to take care off …. I’m royalty and
sometimes growing up fast is the only option to
keep your head above the water for people like us
…. “
He nodded and looked down there is something
about this guy that looks dark and sad he curries
to much blame and self guilt
Him : “ how do you do it ? “
I looked at him
Him : “ be on top of your game …. I mean I knew
from the day I was born that my life will be
complicated I have this huge responsibility to
carry my fathers name when he died I was not
ready for such I coward away and by doing that a
lot of things fall apart “
Me : don't beat yourself about this bro we had to
start somewhere to be the man we meant to be in
the future like looking back in my life it was never
easy I grew up not knowing who I was till I was
17th my father protected me from my family he
practically went on suicide mission saving me and
my sister from the enemies we call family so I
vowed that I will never be like him and take an
easy route out … it was never easy and I know it

348 | P a g e
still going to get more complicated by time goes
but I got good support structure that will help me
and mentor me to be the best I can be “
He nodded " easier said than done I don't think
I'm ready to fill my fathers shoes I mean I failed
my family once I'm just afraid that it might
happen again " he said looking Down
Me : “look at it this way Many people grow up
thinking they want to be like someone else.
Whether we are trying to follow the footsteps of
our father or in my case grandfather or some
other person we want to be like. The shoes we
long to fill seem unattainable and never the right
size or fit.
Yet we spend much of our lives trying to fill the
shoes of others before us.
We spend our childhood looking up to others
especially a person we see as role model a leader.
Hoping to be like them we change who we were
born to be. Sometimes we spend such an effort to
be like someone else we begin to forget who we
really are ... “
Him : “ I just don’t know where to start “
Me : “ you can start by taking ownership … you
the Bhengu Prince next in line to be your father

349 | P a g e
successor if you uncle was a noble man he was
suppose to temporally rule till you are old enough
for take over … so since his out of the picture the
house need a head “
He looked at himself Anybody can tell that Nsika is
going trough a lot his most likely depressed and
the feelings of guilt and self-blame is so
overwhelming. His actually feeding into self-
blame excessively and inappropriately and this
right here is a main key factor in depression his
just sad
Me : “ have you ever try talking to someone ? “
He shook his head
Me : “ you should … leading is not on in ones legs
or ability to walk it's in your head courage and
strength Sbahle told me that you are the brightest
… quietest in the family … that tells me that you
wise and your have a hungry brain use that as
your straight to change things around here “
He nodded and smiled
Me : just remember that this is your birthright
never allow no one to take it from you its you
legacy .."'
he offered me his hand for shake
Him : “ you a good men Mguni and I’m proud to

350 | P a g e
call you my brother in law … “
Me : “ Thank you Bhengu “
Him : “ can you set up a meeting with
neighbouring royal house ? “
I laughed
Me : “ I will be honoured …”
Nsika is not that bad his quite reserved but deep
down his good guy
We were called By Sbahle mom to come inside
when we walked back inside the house I found my
Uncle seated down
Me : “ is everything ok ? “
Mzamo : “ yes … please take a sit “
it was me Nsika Sbahle mom and my uncle
Mzamo " as you know that the wedding is in three
days time
Me :I'm sorry to cut you off but its actually two
days from now … “
Sba/mom : “ ooh my God I almost forgot …a lot
has been happening with my family oh my I even
forgot my daughter's wedding “
Mzamo : “ relax Queen mother all preparation are
done just few touch up’s but the day will be
spectacular “
She breath out loud and we chuckled

351 | P a g e
Mzamo : we are not backwards in culture like
most royal houses so My mother indlovukazi has
sent a special invitation to your family and I
decided to personally deliver it myself to you “
Ok what happening I was never informed about
some special invitation I looked at the invitation
card as Maka Sbahle read through it
Her : “ ooh my God as in tomorrow “
He handed the card to Nsika he looked at it and
nodded ok what the fuck is happening ?
Mzamo : The Mnguni family would like to have
family dinner just so that will get to know our in-
laws "
I looked at him what is my Uncle playing here I
thought will only meet on the wedding day
Sbahle Mom : “ ooh my God i will be delighted …
thank you so much “
Mzamo : thank you for accepting our offer … I will
let Queen mother know thank you “
He stood up “ well that all I have to say for now
looking forward to seeing you tomorrow … Mvelo
My I have word … “
He said his goodbye and I walked him out
Him : “ what did Sbu tell you about the younger
brother ? “ he asked as we stopped next to his car

352 | P a g e
I shoved my hands on my pocket and looked at
him ” .nothing much but just that he was gang
leader in Qwaqwa did heist gun smuggling … the
works "
Him: “ remember when I told you that Bhengu is
sloppy with his money and his shady business ? “
I nodded because I looked at his file and it was too
easy to find incriminating evidence against him
Him : “so I had to dig it was to obvious as If it was
planted "
I nodded " I had that feeling as well so what did
you found out "
Him : what if I told you that human traffic drug
smuggling illegal brothel it was planted on Uncle
piglet.... The only thing we can pin on him is
money laundry and animal poaching
Me : “ what ? But everything points to him .."
Him : he had lot of enemies but who will have
motive to destroy him slowly without him
knowing "
Me : shit ....Mlondi"
He pointed with his head I looked up Mlondi was
standing on balcony hugging Sbahle and he was
looking straight at us ... No wait at me in fact
Mzamo : “ the culprit himself "

353 | P a g e
.
.
To be continued

Chapter 37

Sbahle ***
Mlondi did say his peace and apologized it was
really hard for him to say sorry especially since I'm
younger than him he still does not see anything
wrong in his action when he stayed in hiding for
so many years or what he said to me downstairs
or the way he spoke to Mvelo
I was also tired in going back and forth with him
my brother is the most complicated arrogant
messed up duschbad I have ever seen in short nje
his just an ass
Him : I'm still not feeling your apology "
Ooh did I mention that he demanded an apology
from me as well for not respecting him earlier
Me : can we shake on it "
Him : what are we 50 years when did we start
shaking hands "
Good lord his personality is on steroids right now

354 | P a g e
and I'm just drained by this whole thing we have
been doing he hugged me so tight that I felt my
rib braking
Me : get off me you you're squishing me "
Him : I missed you ... You know talking to Thandi is
not the same as talking to you "
I pushed him off my angry levels just went from
20 to 100
Me : what ...you spoke to Thandi ?"
Him : well ya she gave us money for rent for few
months till we were on our feet after the shooting
"
Me :wow ..." I stepped away from him I felt
betrayed again .
Not to long ago me and my siblings played
together ate at the same table and slept under
one roof close as pages in a book -- or at least
that's how you remember it. So yes we drifted
apart due to unforeseen circumstances when they
finally decided to come back they tell me that
there still talked and offers assistance to one
another and I had to ask myself did they even
think about me ? cared enough to bother
themselves about how me there younger sister
I'm doing ?

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I looked at the grown man standing before me
and I don't recognise him
I'm tongue tight right now 6 Years apart has made
him a stranger to me i have little to say to him
without noticing but definitely I have drifted apart
from him the old loyalties are no longer there So
what happened?
I look at him talking trying to justify his statement
but I'm just not understanding why they failed to
reach out to me was I No longer considered as
there siblings ? Or maybe they blamed me for my
father's death I know I'm being paranoid right
now and the voices are to much in my head the
truth is I’m hurt I know that only about one-third
of siblings remain very close into their adulthood
life’s while the Another third remain relatively
close but soon drift apart sometimes describing
their relationship as distant or rivalries I know that
me and sister have that relationship but never
thought she will turn my brothers against me as
well .
Him : what ... I told you what happened to us who
were we supposed to turn too ?... Mom ?.... "
Me : she had every right to know that you guys
were o'right "

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Him : oh come on Sbahle she was sleeping with
the very same men who put my brother on
wheelchair !!"
I'm not sure what sting the most is hearing him
say ' my brother ' or the fact that he doesn't seam
to care what happened to me and mom in that
house
Me : just get out!!!"
Him : I'm not leaving this room till we talk this
through you boiling everything inside and you
busy blaming me for something I had no control
over … come on Sbahle Grow up !!!" I just found
out that I have little in common with Mlondi his
too self centered and inconsiderate I'm trying by
all means to understand him but this conversation
is going down hill now I feel like strangling him his
just deliberately pushing my buttons the wrong
way without knowing why or how I’m this angry
with him.
I shook my head and stepped out of the balcony I
was mad I was angry yet again I felt like I was
sidelined by my siblings
Him : look Sbahle I'm sorry ..."
Me : no you not in that twisted head of yours you
think we had the perfect life with the very same

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men that killed my father my mom went through
the worse while you and your sister lived a
carefree life away from us or from home ! what I
hate the most is that the men that I love went out
of his way to try and reunite me with my siblings
but it was little too late you have that reunion .
You have change gradually over the years due to
life experiences and the people you were mixing
with I thought or had hope that it will be easier to
speaking but the years apart has made us drifted
apart our priorities are not the same in your mind
you wish we can fall back into default childhood
roles when you have to tell me you my big
brother and you right and I’m wrong … I must do
as you say as you wish because ' it's best for me '
I'm not that same girl anymore Mlondi life taught
me to fight to stand my ground and to protect my
mother by all means I may not wear the pants in
the family but trust me I did for the past years
fighting battles that were way above my league
and guess what I worn … I don’t really need you in
my life and worse decision I made was to asked to
be reunited with you
Him : Sbahle .. " it came out as whisper I saw
Mvelo speaking to his Uncle by the driveway God

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knows how grateful I am to have that man in my
life
Mlondi : you choosing an outsider instead of your
own family "
I wanted to nod so badly the smile on my face was
evidence that his the only human being that gets
me
Me : we might have got on okay when we were
young the only real link is the fact that we grew
up together and emotionally and psychologically
that was the only common link right now I'm
perceived to be shaping my life my mothers life to
hell with this family you can continue
To play the martyr or the bossy older brother role
...And of course as many a fairytale has
highlighted siblings can be ruthlessly selfish "
Him : I'm sorry ...you feel that way about me ...
But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to gain your
trust you my little sister and I feel like I failed you I
don't know this women standing before me she
strong headstrong fiers and has got all her ducks
in a row all I'm trying to say is that if space you
need that I'll give you .. I'm sorry I was not there
to protect you from life and I can see that
someone has replaced me " I felt defeated I was

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weary he hugged me it wasn't warm as i wanted it
to be but well it is what it is right now I wish I was
alone .
" I would like to be alone please "
I said to him and walked back inside the room he
stood there for few minutes looking at Mvelo and
his Uncle if don’t like that look but I’m too drained
to reprimand him after few seconds he just
turned and walk away without saying anything
I finally breath out loud Do I hate my brother ? No
I don't... Do I forgive then I don't know .. All I feel
is just being drained and tired with this whole
situation I just thought I was done with being
angry I mean for a person that has been stuck in
that angry bubble I finally thought I was free

I spent a lot of time in my life being angry. At one

point I hated everything and almost everyone
even found myself saying that “God I hate people
” I hated the people in school shops play ground
in my community and mostly in my family I just
didn't want to associate myself with them
I hated my life funny I used to love my life so
much but it all just became grey and dull
I can’t recall when the precise moment was that it

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began this disgust of the world around me I do
know what I was disgusted by the mindless
selfishness of others...the hush treatment in my
house ....detachment from my siblings ...the death
of my father. ...or the fact that i watched my
mother get abused in front of me .
. I was in total frustration of the way everyone
seemed to be wearing blinders to the world
around them especially my world I heard silent
screamed inside of me and alI needed was to be
heard
Mvelo came to my life when I felt I was about to
self destruct
" Anger is armour — we go to it quickly to protect
ourselves from other vulnerable feelings you
might feel afraid or hurt first but anger a
secondary emotion will surface quickly. Stopping
to ask yourselves what is under the anger your
primary emotion is another way to slow down and
move from the fight-or-flight reaction to your
reasoning part of the brain.” Mvelo said that to
me he took his time to study me and get under
my skin he will video call me and will have silent
conversation with our eyes ... He was patient and
took his time to gain my trust and love . I won't

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say I'm fully there yet where my emotions are in
check but I will say that I'm not a slave or prisoner
of my emotional distraction I take few breath
exercise to calm myself down I walk away from
toxic situations or people I so wish that I could self
drown right now but I found my eyelids getting
heavy
I was about to take a nap when I my phone
vibrated I opened my one eye it was a text from
Mvelo asking me to meet him in his car I jumped
off the bed and walked out mom was in n the
kitchen cooking she has made herself overly
comfortable in this house aish I need to ask hubby
if she can stay here for a while till the dust settles
down ka Bhengu.
I looked around and noticed that my brothers
were not in sight once I was outside I saw Mvelo
inside his car with his phone in his hands I jumped
in and he placed his phone aside and looked into
my eyes
Him : “ hi ! “
I pouted Mvelo is always on his phone and when
he see me he will put it away should I be worried
?
Him : ngibulala bani ( who am i killing )

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Ooh my eyes must be red and puffy
Me : I just had a talk with Mlondi "
He held my hand
Him : ooh how did it go? “
Me : it went bad .... "
Him : want to talk about it ?"
I shook my head " I think my sister hates me ... " I
faked a smile
He brushed my cheek
Him : hay the Chinese did not build the wall in one
day so take it one day at at time OK ..." Mvelo
touch just makes Me feel better all the time its
Me : “ and you and Nsika ? “
Him : “ we had a good talk … “ I looked at him
waiting for him to elaborate but he jut started
brushing my cheek with his thumbs giving me
a feeling I can't explain adequately. I try to talk
myself through it and even stumble through my
thoughts. There is complete trust and openness
which is scary in and of itself when you've always
dealt with manipulative assholes . There is side-
splitting tear-inducing borderline maniacal
laughter that he brings out of me There is security
and safety. There is pure joy even when one of us
has a bad day right now I feel like I did not have a

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heated conversation with my brother few minutes
back
Him : so my grandmother has decided to invite
you and your family for dinner in my house
tomorrow night "
Me : what ? why ? “
He laughed this what I like me seating his Dimple's
when he chortles
Him : I don’t know something to do with family
meeting before the big day “
Me : “ I’m not ready for that “
Him : ... Well your mother agreed I'm not sure
about your nut case brother but Nsika is game "
Me : ooh my God … its too soon “
Him : we getting married in two days time … “
I know no need to remind me “ you forget that
I’m comfortable being with you … not your family
“
Him : you look cute when you panicking “ ooh
brother this man finds this funny
I took my phone and texted Diddy
Him : and than ? "
Me : I'm taking my crazy cousin along ...you said
we having family dinner right I will need a
destruction "

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He just laughed his phone beeped and he looked
at it his face changed
He kissed my hand and side smile
Him : I need to deal with something in Durban … I
should be on my way “
I hate goodbye it like when he leaves he takes a
part of me with him I had asked him about staying
a little longer in his house he agree his phone was
annoying the shit out of me
Him : I trust you will behave and try Talking to
Nsika "
I nodded as he came close and kissed me his
phone vibrated and suddenly I was not feeling this
kiss
Him : what ? "
I looked at him
Him : say it " he balanced his head on his hand
with few centimetres from my face
Him : Mabhengu khuluma!"
My heart skip a bit he hates it when I don't talk his
phone vibrated again this time around I pushed
him off me
" your phone is so annoying " I found myself
saying wait did I just shout at him
Him : what ?

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Ooh God we not even married yet and already I’m
detecting his life I felt so embarrassed after saying
that I found myself looking down his quite I
looked at him and he had a mother of all smirks
he chew his inner cheek … God not this look his
making me nervous I quickly pac his lip and I
quickly jump off leaving him shaking his head
He started his car “ two days left will see how far
your legs will get you you can not run from me
forever
.
.
.
To be continued

Chapter 38

Mvelo ***
After driving from Sbahle home town I drove
straight to Durban.
Sli has been texting me and left me voice notes
about me rubbing salt in her wound by sending
her my wedding invitation card ... I'm not a
wedding planner and that stunt is written Pam all

366 | P a g e
over I wonder when she will accept that Sli is the
mother of my child and she like it or not she
forever going to be in our life... But that dies not
make it right for Sli to flood my inbox ... I should
have a talk about this with her I can't believe that
Sbahle just picked up that it was another women
texting me yoo that soon to be be wife of mine
has another six sense.
" I'm already home when you getting here " it was
a massage from Pam
I attempted to call her but she did not answer
This days Pam condition is getting worse and
honestly I'm scared when ever I talk to her or
think about her I get this sharp pain in my heart .
But besides this pain I have been having this
unsettling feeling as well like something bad going
to happen its this never ending worrying or sad
feeling that comes from time to time.
I had to see and consult with Makhumalo about
this I had this feeling that something was wrong
as much as I have calling I can not see visions
concerning me directly but my gut feeling will
alarm me when something is about to go wrong in
my life
Running a royal house is no child's play and my

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guard need to be on alert at all the time I walk
around with bodyguards I have learned to use a
gun for defence but mostly I have to follow my
lion instinct...
My status has created a lot of enemies for me
Every thing just happened over night and I find it
hard to trust anyone easily ...
As any other royal house there must be a royal
traditional healer that will foresee events that
affect the royal house but not all news must be
bad some can be about a bright future ahead I did
not see no one else fit for the job as one and only
Makhumalo I trust mama with my life
it took a lot of convincing from my ancestors side
and on her side but I left her with no choice till
she finally agreed she went through a massive
training in the mountain with only her and my
ancestors I fears for her life because " idlozi
lengonyama " is powerful more than' lenyoka
yasemanzini ' but she came out victories .
" good you here I was expecting you "
Transformation has made her like this she is so
direct without wasting any time she lead the way
to the ancestral room
Her : Nkosi yami someone is playing with fire LA "

368 | P a g e
Me : makhosi "
Her : there are dark Sky's approaching I see blood
....death.....grief ..."
Me : makhosi "
Her : the blood moon is approaching "
Me : Makhosi "
Her : abaphansi they will give life and take life.
..harvest season is here"
I looked at her and stop clapping
Her: destiny was not fulfilled ... Intombazane
uzilethele amashwa..."
Me : ....
Her : nkosi yami I see grief in your house ...
Me : how can we stop it "
Her : you need to be strong the family will need
you ... You the head .. Indlondlo ... The great
white lion.... Mnguni "
She looked at me and the yellow candle fell
down....
Her : I see rupture of darkness attacking the royal
house .... He has set a trap ... Whatever happens
do not let Ndlovukazi to leave the Ngonyama
kingdom ... I see chaos .. Umsindo ... Isililo .....fight
....there is a man who uses dark magic ... He is
busy as we speak ... We need to go ..

369 | P a g e
Kuyaphuthuma "
She was saying everything all at once after
throwing down the bones It was too much to take
in and very confusing
Me : mama I'm not following "
She look up
" it has started ... I need to go the royal house
kumele uqiniswe umuzi kunobutha obuzayo "
Me : we can leave today "
She started doing growling sounds I was clapping
and saying my clan name... Till she finally came
back from her trans
.
.
Sbahle ***
I helped mom with cooking I haven't spoken to
Nsika I was scared I spoke
Inappropriately this morning with him and I kinda
regret it I'm not big in apologizing so I decided to
cook his favorite meal I hope it still is his favorite
meal dumplings and beef curry it's the thought
that counts right and maybe we can have light
conversation of supper
Me: mom how is Nsika ?" I was fishing
Her :his .... "

370 | P a g e
I looked at her but she just wiped her tear on her
eyes
Her : why don't you ask him yourself maybe he
might talk to you ... "
I nodded Nsika is not that much of a talker and I
have a feeling that whatever he went through he
did not just only lose his legs but a whole lot more
Her : sbahle " I looked at her
Her : I see you and Mvelo have become close "
I nodded
Her : so you in relationship with him "
Me : he just thought that it will best to know each
other prior before we tie the knot"
Her : do you still want to marry him ...even after
the person who arranged this is not in our lives
any more "
Me : we talked about it and yes i will marry him
are Union will be good for both families"_
Her : so how is he like ?"
I smiled and looked down " his a good person "
Her : Sibahle Ntombikayise Bhengu do you love
this boy ?" Ooh god did she have to call me by my
full names just to get an answer dumplings and
beef curry it's the thought that counts right and
maybe we can have light conversation of supper

371 | P a g e
Me: mom how is Nsika ?" I was fishing
Her :his .... "
I looked at her but she just wiped her tear on her
eyes
Her : why don't you ask him yourself maybe he
might talk to you ... "
I nodded Nsika is not that much of a talker and I
have a feeling that whatever he went through he
did not just only lose his legs but a whole lot more
Her : sbahle " I looked at her
Her : I see you and Mvelo have become close "
I nodded
Her : so you in relationship with him "
Me : he just thought that it will best to know each
other prior before we tie the knot"
Her : do you still want to marry him ...even after
the person who arranged this is not in our lives
any more "
Me : we talked about it and yes i will marry him
are Union will be good for both families"_
Her : so how is he like ?"
I smiled and looked down " his a good person "
Her : Sibahle Ntombikayise Bhengu do you love
this boy ?" Ooh god did she have to call me by my
full names just to get an answer

372 | P a g e
I nodded and looked at her and she smiled
Her : come sit down I think we need to talk "
I was hesitant I mean I never had ' the talk' before
with Mom I was not even sure if I was ready for
this
Her : so useke wasondela esibanyeni sababa
wakho "
Me : No ma ... We have not gone that far "
Her : mmmmmm so what do you do when you
with him "
Me : maka Sbahle ... We just talk "
Her: mmmm so you have kissed him? "
I don't want to answer this questions any more
what am i 15 years or something
Me : kodwa ma .. Why so many questions "
Her : I saw you and him in the car being all touchy
and and kissy "
Yooo tixo ... I dropped my mouth open
Her : so my girl this is what you going to do....
When you experience that your body betray you
when you with him...tell him you saving your self
for marriage "
Me : he respect me maka 'Sbahle he believes in
sex after marriage as well "
Mom : are you ready for that? "

373 | P a g e
OK mom's question are crazy who's ever ready to
be deflowered I shook my head
Her : good ... That means you ready "
Me : mom I said I'm not ready "
Her : do you trust Mvelo do like love him ...? Do
you believe he will never hurt you internationally
?"
Me : yes !"
Her : that trust him enough to ...make you a
women " She did a head shake and I laughed if
she finds its hard to to talk to me about this than
what was the point of seating me down.
I held my face my fears came rushing in
I never had many positive associations with sex
not that I had sex by my best friend Zim was bitch
and change all size and shapes in a her vj-whole
and she will come tell me all about it . I always
heard sex would defile me give me diseases or get
me pregnant. I heard about the temptations of
sexual relationships and how they would ruin my
life if I got involved. This talks were meant to
encourage me to wait until marriage to have a
healthy sex life but instead it directly connected
sex to shame no matter the circumstances. I
began to believe that there was never a time or

374 | P a g e
place to show my sexuality...till Mvelo came along
and he has made my body react in another way
am I ready for my wedding night No ...
" I'm scared mom "
We heard the TV playing ooh it must be Nsika
Her : will talk about this later I have two full days
to prepare myself for the talk " .. I bust out and
laugh
.
.
Mlondi ***
I looked at my pocket of cigarette and kept
playing with them this is one habit i can not stop I
have learned to keep my hands mouth busy to
prevent myself from smoking
My phone ringed and I picked it up
" when you coming home "
Me : I am home "
Nsika : you know what I mean ..."
I breath out loud
Him: killing him won't get my legs back or bring
back your childhood "
Me : who said I haven't killed him "
Him : I know you ... You don't kill but you play
games with people's minds and when they think

375 | P a g e
their mad and losing their head that when you
strike "
Me : Sbahle hates us " I decided to change the
subject I don't like it when Nsika involves himself
in my line of work
Him : I don't think so ... I believe she is just grown
up "
Me : I hate that boy ...did you see how he looked
at me he will not have the last dance "
He bust out and laughed
Him : I know ... Its because you two are more alike
than you think ... "
I still think that this Mvelo gut is not good for my
sister I understand if there were dating fuck now
he wants to marry my little sister bullshit! sbahle
suppose to go to university and be her own
person not someone wife
Him : look bro ... If the two family join forces we
will rule with peace... "
Me : what ...you thinking of taking the seat "
Him : its long overdue ...look I have to go ....and
think about what I said ... He's not worth it ..."
Me : what ever "
Sunny walked towards me
Him : all done "

376 | P a g e
Me : great ... " I stood up and made my way to the
grave yard I left my uncle chained to my father
grave told him to apologize to him the whole and
confess on why he killed him he was chained
there the whole night
So today I have set up a meeting with him it will
not be fair if singakhuluni njengamadoda
I have set and outdoor setting in the middle of our
family burial ground
there was a table set with my uncle cheep whisky
and my two cans of play energy drink
I asked sunny to untie him so he may join me for a
drink.
This place has really messed up with his head he
was busy looking around I could tell he was seeing
ghost or his demons.
Me : sorry I'm late ... Aish was reuniting with my
family you know how good it felt I wish you were
there to whiteness it yooo its so good tell the
people I love that I love them yoooo you could
have seen mom tears of jot hugging me it was just
a beautiful moment if i could show you i could
yazi but you can tell because The love within me
shines throughout angithi ?
I was even beyond blessed to see my sister as well

377 | P a g e
... Wow she is all grow up leading by example and
is expressive beyond limits I bet she gave you a
hard time .... "
Him : .....
Me : so how was your night ? ...and the talk you
had with my father ...? "
Him : you sick !"
Me : I know .... Do you want something to drink so
we can talk "
He looked around his eyes popped out as if he
seeing someone yep Hus paranoid just how I like
my meat
Me : aish the sun is setting so beautifully ... You
know why I chose to have this meeting here ?"
Him : please get me outta here ... He is coming
back he always come at night "
Me : mmmm now I know why you decided to
build your own house you see him right .... You
couldn't fuck his wife in his house in his bed right
.... You sick bustad you "
He nodded and I bust out and laughed
Me : ncoooo poor you "
Him : please Mlondi . . ngiyakucela my son I will
confess I will tell you everything just get me out of
here

378 | P a g e
I took my can of play and opened it I crossed my
legs and looked around
Me : you know why i love this place because it
tells us we will all drop dead one day no matter
our titles status identity or level of importance.
We are all mortal human beings. Human beings
whom every day get a chance at life and love
Some in the most excruciating circumstances and
others who seem to have it all."
He looked at me with gushing tears
Me : So Sikhumbuzo Bhengu tell me this because I
fail to understand why were toy never conscious
of your mortality or be grateful of what you had
or better yet let's talk about this hate you have or
had for your brother. ... My father "
Him ....
Me : its getting darker ndoda asikhulume. .. "
.
.
To be continued

379 | P a g e
Chapter 39

Sbahle ***
I heard noise like waves or water fall I heard
humming of beautiful melody calming and
soothing I rose from my bed i was wearing a long
silky white night dress I was walking on barefoot I
followed the sound I opened my bedroom door it
lead me to place I have never seen before it was
beautiful it looked like enchanted garden the river
was big and powerful I looked closely and I saw a
massive waterfall feeding into the this river it was
so clear and blue in colour there
In the middle of the river set a big rock
And I saw female figure she was seating on the
rock brushing her hair
Me : “ hello “
She did not respond
Me : “ who are you ? “
She did not respond I walk closer to her her back
was facing me she slowly turned around she was
beautiful her Melanie skin glow in the sun her eye
colour was changing with reflection of her
environment I have seen this face before but
where?

380 | P a g e
Her : “ sawbona “
Me : “ yebo …. Where am ? “
Her : “ you in the royal house … your royal house “
Me : “ who are you …”
She smiled as the the sky change from blue to
dark black
Her : “Sometimes life isn’t all rainbows and
sunshine Throughout every person’s life there will
be hard times where it’s forecasted to be dark
and gloomy with seemingly constant showers.
And when it rains it pours.
It is important to use these difficult times as life
lessons growing and shaping you to blossom into
a stronger and wiser person every day!
Me : “ I don’t understand “
Her : “ you soon to be QUEEN you are young but
you chosen for a purpose... “
I look down I have so many self doubt about this
title of being queen what if I’m not good enough
what if I fail....I haven't even been schooled about
this position .
Her : never doubt yourself ... This thing is in your
blood its your birthright ... But there is no time
then the now ....start now to believe in yourself
start where you are start with fear start with pain

381 | P a g e
start with doubt start with voice trembling but
start empowering you and believing that you are
chosen for purpose just start and don’t stop start
where you are with what you have “
She placed a hand on my chest I felt this worm
feeling
" starting as of today your heart soul and blood of
the Mnguni family "
I smiled and nodes
I was confused though I did not understand but I
could tell that she is indirectly telling me to stay
strong to stay focus on what to come
Her : “all ways remember that you are The chosen
one before you became his lover wife friend …
.you must never forget that you were born to rule
to lead to be Queen … “
I nodded and on queue the rain kissed my skin it
was cold and hard it beat upon my head with
silver liquid drops she sang her song that was
somehow in tune with the raindrops
Her : Do not be angry with the rain it simply does
not know how to fall upwards when it rains it
pours but after dark Sky's come a rainbow “she
dived in the river
Me : “.. who are you ? …. “ like siren she left her

382 | P a g e
song ringing in my ear ran after her I saw I yellow
and white reflection of beautiful snake under the
water... I held my chest
Me : “ Ndlovukazi ... Mnguni Queen mother … “ I
bowed my head as sign of respect and I was woke
up to vibrating sound under my pillow
Me : “ hello “
“ ooh did I wake you ? “
I set up straight Mvelo is such an early bird is after
7am and he already waking me up and sounding
fresh
Me : “ its OK I’m up now “
Him : “ again I’m sorry how did you sleep “
Me : “ I slept good thank you and you ? “
Him : “ only had few hours of sleep … but I’m
good “
Me : “ is everything ok … “
He kept quite something is definitely wrong
Him : “ I'm still not sure what it is but I'm working
overtime in getting to the bottom of it"
I felt something like liquid on my nose when I
wiped it I saw blood I stood up and ran to
bathroom
Him : Sbahle ... Sbahle "
I had already blocked my nose with a cloth

383 | P a g e
Me : mmmm"
Him : I heard you sniffing are you OK ? "
Me : aaah ... Yes ..."
He dropped the call and I ran to tap to wash this
blood and I expected he was video calling me ...
What now
I picked up
Him : is that blood ???"
I nodded
Him : when did it start "
Me : right now "
Him : ma Bhengu ! "
Me : I swear I just woke up and it started .."
He looked down as if his thinking when he lifted
his head
Him : i woke up with bleeding nose as well
thought I should check up on you and see how
you doing ... And now this ? "
It was more of question then a statement I held
my mouth
Him : “ don’t worry about me I'm fine …we going
to be just fine ..."
Me : you hiding something from me I can see it in
your eyes ... "
Him : so how is you day planned today ? “

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Me : Mvelo !!!"
He raised his eyebrow
Me : uxolo ... But tell me What's going on ..."
Him : remove that cloth let me see if its still
bleeding "
I wiped my nose and it looks like it has stopped
Him : sithandwa sami I want you to go pamper
yourself take Dudu and the other mean one out
let me go check on what going on with
preparation for tonight " I want to strangle him
right now why is he avoiding my question and
why is he talking about Nwabisa
Him : don't pull that face on me ..."
I looked down why must he be be so intimidating
Me : “ I haven't seen Nwabisa since that day. ... “
Him : “ she your cousin and was bad influenced by
her mother she was porn in her evil game don’t
you think you blaming the wrong person ? The
least you could do is check up on her “
I huffed
Him : “ look holding a grudge will only fuel her up
and she will end up feeding into her evil heat I just
don’t want you having unnecessary enemies “
I roll my eyes he laughed
Him : “any way stop rolling your eyes at me .. . “

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I laughed
Him: “ I miss you “
I blushed “ I miss you too “
Him : “ I can't Wait to see you tonight “
I smiled “ me too “
I wanted to tell him about the dream but I
somehow find my self opening up my mouth and
closing it .... Could this be the dark sky that
Mvelo's Gran told me about ? Him keeping staff
from me .... What is he hiding vele ? he looked
behind him and back at me
Him : “ look chubby cheeks I need to go … open
the side drawer I left something for you “
I rushed to the drawer there was box I quickly
opened it “ Jesus Christ ! “
Him : “ why you calling another mans name
women !! ... Say Mvelo Mnguni “ I bust out and
laughed
Me : “ for me ? “
Him : “ last time I check that card has your name
on it … so go spoil yourself … I love you “
Me : “ I love youuuuuuu”
He laughed I dropped the call and jumped up and
down i have never own a black card before and
now I have a platinum card

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I jumped to the shower took a quick shower ran
to my closet and jumped into my short denim
skirt and white vest with all start finished up with
lip gloss
I walked to the kitchen to make breakfast but
Mom has already beat me to it she left a note on
the table
“morning kids I’m out for the morning I have to
attend a prayer meeting will see you later help
yourself to breakfast
NB: BE GOOD PLEASE”
I checked outside the window to check if she left
her car and yes she did I took my plate and set on
the couch
“ you up early kwenzenjani “
Mlondi said walking in stretching his body i still
think this hairstyle looks ridiculous on him but
funny enough he looks hot
Me : “ its beautiful day … “ he set next to me and
took piece of my bacon
Its good to say that me any my brothers have
called it truce mom had a heated talk with us over
dinner and well we had to move on from the
auguring and blaming each other for situation we
had no control over

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Him : “ uphi uma ? “
Me : “ prayer meeting “
Him : “ she still does that ….? “
Me : “ without fail every Friday “ we chuckled
Mlondi still hates or should I say dislike Mvelo we
had to bag him to tag along with us today in his
twisted mind he believes that Mvelo is fuck boy a
cheat and a player ... He basically described
himself .
I know Mvelo is not perfect he has a past maybe a
present i don't know ... But he respect me enough
that i have never picked up any bad vibes when it
comes to that . but yesterday there was
something about that call and his phone ringing
non stop was I jealous bloody hell I was .. Was I
insecure ....ohh hell no I'm Sbahle Bhengu I got
the looks and body and damn do I kick ass bitches
better be careful who they mess with once he put
a ring on it
Mlondi : so you really marrying this fuck boy "
Me : I love him ... He loves me so yes siyashada "
Him : hayi futseck wena .. " I laughed as much as
my brothers are back in my life I still asked my
mother to walk me down the Aisle haybo siwe
sivuka naye she has been my father and mother

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the past years so nje I appreciate that women
“ morning “ Nsika said as he wheeled himself in
“ hi “
Mlondi : “ moja “
I decided to dish up for my brother we were
laughing and talking like old times my mood today
was just blissful
Nsika : “ Thandi asked me why you never invited
her to your wedding “
Me : “ waist of paper “ I looked at there plates it
was cleaned out yoo this boys can eat
I took the plates to the kitchen
Mlondi : “ what ? “ he asked walking in followed
by Nsika
Me : “ look guys I understand that you and Thandi
have a special bond but mina I’m just another
little sister that she forgot about … “ I finished
placing the dishes in the washing machine took
my phone and my mom car keys
Nsika : “ and uyaphi ? “
Me : “ I need to do my hair big brother … “
Ml.ondi : “ but we still talking ! “
Me : if its has anything to Do with Thandi I'm sorry
I'm not interested .
Nsika nodded while Mlondi was busy shouting

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does the guy ever shut up I left him there calling
out my name i jumped into my moms car and
drove off playing hip hop I arrived at the Bhengu
royal complex security was new I wander what
Mlondi is up too because he spend most of his
days here I hope he will not make matters worse I
packed outside Dudu house and she was out like a
lightning
Didy : hay babe “
She pulled me for a hug .
Me : “ Dudu come on you know how I feel about
hugs “
Her : “ ‘ooh shut up … dmn have I missed you …
.your mother said that remember that we leaving
at 15h00 “
Me : she in your house ? “
She nodded “ well all the aunts are I think they
having a meeting or something ? “
I stepped on the break
Her: hay...boo!
Me : “ what? going on ? “
Her : “ shoot me and my big mouth … “
Me : “ talk ! “
Her : “ ook ok … they just laid Aunt Thabi to rest
this morning”

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Me : “ and they did not tell us “
Her : “ with all the drama going on in this house …
it was best that it was kept private and very
intimate .... Beside this women are excited about
your wedding "
I started the car
Me : “ I see … any news on the trial ? “ Dudu
father is the family lawyer and he has been trying
to cut a deal with the magistrate to realise his
brother from jail only two were involved in legal
activities and my Uncle being the kingpin
Her : “ everything is on a stand still the police
commissioners keeps saying that Give me Bhengu
and we can work on a plea so right now they all in
holding cell … “
Her : “ do you perhaps know where he is ? “
Me : “I may look all tough baby girl but I have no
power to hide such a fat man “
She laughed “ my money is on your brothers …. “
Me : “ does are strong allegation missy be careful
where you run that mouth of yours I just found
my brothers aren’t willing to let them take a fall
for that pig
I smiled “don’t forget that not all Bhengu man
where that bad … some of us we suffered under a

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hand of women … “
Her : and I hope that hag rote in that jail cell “ we
bust out and laugh we finally made it to the mall .
.
.
Mvelo ***
We were drinking cool drinks me and Sbu he
looked lost he was not talking at all it like his body
was here but his mind was floating into space this
can in my hand is not going down I should be
celebrating that I'm marrying a girl that I love but
things in my house are falling apart Pam is sick
and breathing through a ventilator on the other
hand someone is planning an attack on my house
Sli is nagging as fuck . I just found out that my
daughter is gifted last night she told me there is
baby coming and she told me We must name her
Naledi ... I'm just stressed its all too much was this
the right time to get married when I don't even
know if I'm coming or going .
" let me go check up on her " I pat his shoulder as
he walked past me I found him crying like a baby
last night when Pam went to semi coma we
thought we lost her but she smiled and said
" I can't go without seeing Sbahle ... "

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That why my grandmother has decide to have this
emergency dinner talking about Koko she is just
broken her and Pam never spend that much time
together but when they did Pam just became
koko baby girl ... I wiped a alone tea that rushed
down on my face ..
" how is she ?" I placed my hands on my face as
Mbali set next to me
Me : what can you see Mfethu "
She did not respond Mbali is Makhumalo
daughter she a stud she is more of my boy then
girl she was born with a prophetic calling it's more
spiritual ordained
Her : she too peaceful ...but she can not stand the
pain she is feeling now ... She wants to go "
I looked at her with teas on my face
Pam had been on high doses of morphine to
control the pain and morphine causes
hallucinations so I ignored much of what she said
to me last night she talked about seeing people
mom and dad she saw all this while lying on her
bed... She refuse to go to hospital so we turned
her room to a hospital ward fully equipped
Me : it's not her time "
Mbali : if we all knew our time we would cheated

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death every time it came to closed ... When 'THE"
our father calls his sheep we listen and follow
Corinthians 15:53–55
"For this perishable body must put on the
imperishable and this mortal body must put on
immortality. When the perishable puts on the
imperishable and the mortal puts on immortality
then shall come to pass the saying that is written:
'Death is swallowed up in victory.' 'O death where
is your victory? O death where is your sting?
..."_she tap my shoulder and we set there lost in
our thought
When I walked back in the house to check up on
her she was in a rare lucid state she said to me
“Who is this old man standing at the foot of my
bed?”
I blew it off as another hallucination must be the
drugs She then repeated her question and asked
that I move her oxygen mask she was frail
beautiful but I did not recognise her
Her : who does he look like to you?”
Me: I don't know sweetheart you tell me "
She described the old man as having white hair
and wearing a white shirt with lion skin on his left
shoulder She then said he was smiling at her i

394 | P a g e
turned to look at her and asked
Me : has he said anything to you ?"
I knew very well who she was talking about it was
my great (*3) grand father Somdala Mnguni
Her : yes .. "
“is he here for you?” I lump on my throat was so
big that I find it hard to breath She then paused as
if she were listening to him speak then turned to
me and said “No. He said the moon in the sky will
bring harvest time "
She smiled as she squeezed my hand
Her : when is my Queen coming? "
Me : do you want to speak to her ?"
Her : no ...I want to meet her ...go call her and let
me get ready " the minute I left the room ... This
hurt so much
.
.
Chapter 40

I could not stand seeing Pam in that stage I

decided to lock myself in my study I was
exhausted it was pointless consulting with my
ancestors because they were not going to show
me anything right now I have so many question

395 | P a g e
and the only person who might have answers is in
the royal mountains I haven't seen my
grandfather NkosiyaBantu since I got here and the
only thing my grandmother ever does is just cry.
My house is upside down and it's out of my
control I'm angry sad but mostly confused. I
gulped down the content of whisky and allow it to
burn my throat I took out my phone and texted
Sibahle again she has tendencies of not answering
her phone she finally responded and told me she
doing her hair I looked at the time and
immediately became worried is she going to make
it on time ?... why is she even dolling herself up
when she already look so hot damn I miss her so
much to think about it she is the only thing that
makes sense in my life right now.
I heard a soft nock and Makhumalo walked in
after I invited her in she looked drained and tired
Im guessing she hasn't slept at all since last night .
So when Me and maKhumalo finally got home she
just started talking and chanting she was running
around the house burning impepho cleansing the
house with water mixed with herbs ... She was
sprinkling it around ( chela ) she was speaking to
our ancestors she cussed and chased away a lot of

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bad spirit that were roaming in the yard (
wabethela ).
she then asked to spend few minutes with Zithelo
in the ancestral room alone she picked up some
sort of a vibe from her they came out after an
hour or so with sleeping Zee on her arm
she told me that that when she was sick someone
or entity gave her poison food in her sleep ( idliso)
But it did not walk as it should have but only
made her sick since Zee body fought the poison
out she also told me to thank idlozi lami ( my
ancestors ) for protecting her she also picked up
that Zee is a special child she the first Lioness that
may shift when she comes of age ...she told me
that after the wedding I need to do ceremony for
Zithelo to concede the spirit in her.
no doubt I feared for my daughters life and I
blamed Sli for being careless how could she put
our daughters life in danger like that ?
I asked Makhumalo why would they try to poison
my child she told me it was to get close to me but
since that did not work they uses insila Ka Zee (
hair nails bath water ) mixed with some muthi (
vudu ) on Sli when I asked what for ? she just
yawned and took her stuff and left us there with

397 | P a g e
an instruction to keep the yellow green blue and
white candle burning in the ancestral room till she
comes back .
So there she is before me now I hope she will
share some light in the million question that I
have for her .
Me : mama I thought you will be on the mountain
"
Her : your enemy's are coming ... They don't want
this marriage to happen "
I stood up
Me : who is doing this ?"
She set on the couch opposite me
Her : he did all of this to have seat in the royal
table ...he will try by all means to have that power
back " I turned and looked at her
Me: what do you mean back ? Who are you
talking about ? “
My anger just went from 0 to 1000
She clapped hands and called my clan name
bowing her head my heart beat came down so
was my breathing
Her : Silindile was suppose to be strong in faith so
that should this day come she was going to be
protected by divinity her anger and

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disappointment has made her weak and that
allowed darkness to walk inside her house .."
Me : she is the cause off all this ?"
She nodded I banged the table with my fist
Her : she is your mate ....or should I say she was
your mate ? "
I started walking around the room
Her : the love you had for her was powerful and
would have overcome any challenges she was told
by your ancestors that she will go trough test and
tribulations to be with you because her blood is
not of royalty she was asked to hold your fire and
wait for you while she was giving a task to
connect with her warrior Angel to enhance her
faith ... She was suppose to be a powerful prayer
warrior so that she will withstand and endure any
hardship and no evil was going to come close to
her "
Me: I don't understand "
Her : Silindile is favoured child her birth was a
miracle and she was destined for greater power in
life ... That why when you two meet you
conceived a child that is gifted"
I placed my hands on my face
Her : her love for you has made her weak and that

399 | P a g e
alone has opened doors for the dark world to
creep in she has allowed the most darkest spirit in
her life ... The spirit of unbelief
I looked at her fuck sli is so stupid it's the same
spirit I cursed away when she tried to take her life
few years back
Me : but I thought she was strong in faith I mean
she runs sermons and talks and ...
She shook her head
Her : Unbelief is believing something other than
what God has said about a situation. You can
believe Jesus was raised from the dead you can
believe He is your Lord you can believe He is
coming soon but if you don’t believe and do what
He says you are operating in unbelief. You can
believe in Him but still not believe what He says.
The Bible calls this an evil heart—a hardened
heart (Hebrews 3:12). And a heart of unbelief
grieves God. . . Sli was told by the higher power
about destiny and her purpose in life she was not
spiritually ready to be with she was suppose to
Wait for the full blood moon and all was going to
go according to destiny but destiny was was not
fulfilled and now she is the very same person that
is responsible in bringing darkness to this home ...

400 | P a g e
"
Me : what !!!"
Her : you need to be strong because the attack is
on your Queen ...."
Me : No!"
Her : you are connected to the queen spiritually
and when they attack her it affects you too
...That’s why both of you had nose bleed at the
same time this morning …. “
Me : “ is she going to be ok ? “ I was panicking I
can never allow anything to happened to Sbahle I
might as well lay my life in the hands of that
person that trying to harm her .
She nodded
Her : she has Royal blood she is protected by the
fallen Queen's but they going to use your
weakness to destroy your marriage ...thread
carefully my king if you hurt the Queen… blood
will be shared .... The Bhengu brothers are a force
not to be reckoned with .."
I sank down .... Not Sbahle not her I can't lose her
Her : you need to be strong there is no time for
that. come we have a visitors"
As she said that a knock came trough and the
savants told us that we have visitors from Silindile

401 | P a g e
Grandfather .
.
.
.
Sbahle ****
I did not feel like telling Didy about Mvelo and I to
her we just close friends I did not want to bust my
bubble so soon being in love is all to new to me
any way and as much as I hang out with Didy she
is still Bhengu and I don’t trust my family with my
life.
Didy was talking non stop she into fashion and
knows way to much about what's in and what not
she had so many ideas about the dress I must
ware she was taking me in and out of boutiques
till I feel my feet about to bleed.
Me : “ Didy we came to the mall to buy a dress for
tonight and do hair I did not want to bust my
bubble so soon being in love is all to new to me
any way and as much as I hang out with Didy she
is still Bhengu and I don’t trust my family with my
life.
Didy was talking non stop she into fashion and
knows way to much about what's in and what not
she had so many ideas about the dress I must

402 | P a g e
ware she was taking me in and out of boutiques
till I feel my feet about to bleed.
Me : “ Didy we came to the mall to buy a dress for
tonight and do hair this walking around is bloody
tiring and to top it up I’m running out of time …
just make up your mind please !!! “
Her : “ ok … Princess I’m taking you to the spar to
relax and I will do the run around “
I just rolled my eyes I really did not have the
energy to entertain her we stopped by the spar
the front desk lady gave us a brochure
Didy : “ full body massage body scrub facial and
hair and nails please “ the lady nodded and lead
the way
The way my body was so relaxed after the
massage and detoxing in the steam room I felt like
a feather this girl know her shit
I had face mask on and some lady was doing my
nails I did not want this fancy nail tips so I just
went with French manicure with a bit of glitter
Didy walked in
Her : “ wow look at you “
Me : “ did you find a dress ? “
Her : “ got 5 choices but we need to pic three … “
She showed me pics and my mouth was on the

403 | P a g e
floor … I have never worn such elegant dress in
my life before
Me : “ you pic girl I don’t know too me all this is
just too much “
Her : “ ooh brother you such a boy let me send
this pics to your mother she will now .. “
I was ushered to the salon to do my hair they
have unplated my braids so they just had to
straighten it our hairdresser was very chatty she
talked to Didy about everything I just gave up on
feeling embarrass on how this girl act and talk to
people it was all laughs and chit chats moment to
her
Didy : I hope you have experience with this kind of
hair my sister is attending her engagement party
tonight and I want her to be more than beautiful
she must blow her in-laws away “
Hairdresser: don’t worry when I’m done with your
sister you won't even recognize her
Didy : you have a 1hr bebe to make her look
fabulous
I rolled my eye at them and took out my phone
from my bag I realized I had tree miss call from
Mvelo and four massages I read my massage
“ hi “

404 | P a g e
“ what are you up too ? ”
“ don’t tell me you too busy to talk to me now!! ”
“ hayboooo ! ”
Looking at the massages that he left for me I
smiled as I started typing
“ hi Ngonyama yesizwe “
I know by addressing him like that he will calm
down and smile I have feeling that Mvelo has a lot
on his plate I feel like he currying the world in her
shoulder
Him : “ Ndlonkulu was ka Mnguni”
He responded and I blushed
Him : “ it's about time I thought you forgot about
me “
Me: “ I’m pampering myself for tonight “
Him: “ why didn’t you tell me I would have flew
down to accompany you”
Me: “ naaa its kwl I got my crazy cuz with me “
Him: “ how far are you with the pampering ?”
Me: “ I’m doing my hair now then get my dress
then make up “
Him: “ did you see the time its almost 14:00 are
you going to be done by the take off time ? your
plain leaves in 17:00“ aish yah I doubt that if I will
make it but hay it my husband jet so whatever

405 | P a g e
Me: “ I will be fashionably late you are marrying
me against my free will any way “
Him: “ is that so now “
I smiled because I knew he was laughing his but
off
Me: “ I got to go chat later ne “
Him: “ I don’t even know why you pampering
yourself for … because to me you just look like a
goddess “
Me : “ you making me blush Mnguni “
Him : “I wish I can see those tiny eyes and pouty
lips right now “
Me : “ stop it my cheeks are turning red .. “
Him :I love you uyezwa “
Does he ever get enough of saying those 4 letter
words to me ?
Me : “ how will I forget when you tell me every
time you get … “
He chuckled
Him : “ fuck im whipped “ we bust out and
laughed
Him : tell those people to speed it up don’t even
think about keeping me waiting for you “
Me: “ lol later “
I found Didy looking at me

406 | P a g e
Her : “ and that ? “
Me : “ didy go get the dress and send me there
account detail so I will pay on line “
Her : “ mmm I see you cuz and you got a lot of
explaining to do “
Me “ Just go !! “
She laughed and walked out
It took forever to straighten my hair and finally
she styled it i have very long hair thanks to moms
genes They blow dry it giving it that bounce when
I walked I was looking totally different
I was now waiting for Didy she took forever mom
was calling asking me where I am ? it was a mess
time was not on my side Didy must be like a child
in candy shop with all designer dresses
surrounding her no doubt
Didy : ok sisi omuhle! umyisephy u sisi wami ? “
she finally arrived I .was about to send a search
party to look for her
I giggled well she right I look absolutely
breathtaking could not recognize my self either
she grabbed my hand
Didy : we need to go home now we already
running late “
I looked at her like what she the one that was

407 | P a g e
indecisive on which dress to take ?
Me : but what about makeup ? fitting of the dress
?
Didy : trust me I got you that ” I shrug my
shoulder as she pulled my hair
Me: ok ok ok stop dragging me phela “
I thank the lady in the spar they all gave me a hug
and wished me luck for my big day .
On the road Didy was driving and talking with his
hands at the same time the way I hate being a
passenger when she is driving because i
constantly have to remind her that she is driving
Mom texted that I must come to my father's
house they all gathered there
Her : “ wow … looks like everyone is here “
My mouth was on the floor …the number of cars
parked outside where the fuck are this people
coming from ?
Mlondi was standing by his car with a big pocket
of chips
Me : “ what’s going on ?
Him : “ you getting married and you are late … “ I
rolled my eyes and ran inside the house
I found mom Didy mom and some other close
relatives in the Kitchen aish women and kicker

408 | P a g e
gossip
Mom : ooh mtanami you look so pretty “
Didy : pretty is for little Queen mother this girls
here is smoking hot and compliments of me “
We laughed I gritted my alders in the house
Dudu Father : “ good you here we can go now …
we already kept the pilot waiting “
Me : “ I’m not dressed “
Mom : “ we will first stop by the hotel for that …I
have packed all of your close and whatever you
may need I hope I was able to pack everything …
you brother has packed your bags in the car … “
she looked up “ baba omcane … asibike ukuthi
umtwana uyahamba manje uya emzini “
One aunt came to me placed a rug over my
shoulders head scuff on my head ooh crap there
goes my hairstyle … next thing I know we in the
ancestral rondavel and Im choking in impepho …
mom was crying … I was crying it was an
overwhelming feeling this is my last day in my
father's house as a girl … this time tomorrow i'll
be someone's wife ….ooh GOD ! this is really
happening now … my family is giving me away.
.
.to be continued

409 | P a g e
Chapter 41

Sbahle ****
So after a lot of crying and hugging my family
saying farewell to me we left only close family
members took the Mnguni Jet the rest took
commercial flight I was somehow down my whole
life I wanted change but never thought it will
come on form of a man
Did I make a right decision ? Is it too late to
change my mind ? Do I really want to be someone
wife at the age a of 18 ? What do I even know
about love ?
I had so many questions I mean part of the reason
I'm doing this is because Mvelo makes me so
happy he gets me and has shown me nothing but
love but now I look at my mom my brother that
just came back to a picture is this really an ideal
time to leave home ?
When we marry we face a difficult balancing act
with our parents / family On one hand the fifth of
the Ten Commandments tells us to “Honor your
father and your mother that your days may be
long in the land that the Lord your God is giving
you” (Exodus 20:12). No matter what your age

410 | P a g e
you should honor your parents by spending time
with them thanking them for what they’ve done
well caring for them as necessary …
But then we look at Genesis 2:24 part of the
narrative where God creates the institution of
marriage. This verse tells us “Therefore a man
shall leave his father and his mother and hold
feast to his wife and they shall become one flesh ”
The Hebrew word for “leave” means to forsake to
leave behind to literally let go. As difficult as it
may be when you marry you declare to the world
“No other person on earth is more important to
me than my spouse . " Your spouse becomes a
higher priority than your parents or family can I
leave without my family ? But yet again I have
leaved so many years alone and Mvelo brings a
whole new ball game I was resting my head on my
mother lap she was rubbing my back
“ shuuuuuu …. Stop crying Sbahle “
Me : “ im scared mommy …. “
Her : “ I know sweat heart I know … “
.
.

411 | P a g e
Mvelo ***
I keep looking at the time and this man kept
talking in circles I have no idea what is silindile
Grandfather is doing here on the eve of my
wedding but there was something about him that
was dark and a bit unsettling he was here with a
some other man who called himself Silindile Uncle
Out of blue Silindile family are up in her life last
time I checked she was disowned for marrying
Zwane ... But ever since she became the mother
of my child this people here became to friendly
with her and my daughter I looked at my annoyed
Grandmother Austin was folding his arms looking
at them directly in the eyes Im glad that my uncle
Mzamo is not here this meeting would have gone
from bad to worse in seconds.
Koko : I'm sure that you did not come all this way
to praise our beautiful home so may you please
tell us the reason for your visit"
Sli Grandfather cleared his trough can they just
get this over and done with
Sli grandfather : with all due respect Ngonyama
we apologize to take your time we know that you
got a wedding stuff to attend to ..."
I nodded

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Him : but we thought that we should come and
address the issue of Silindile "
I set up straight
Koko : khulumani please ..."
The uncle : As you know that Silindile is the
mother of the royal princess Zithelo "
He looked at me and quickly looked down
Me : go on "
Him : since inkosi ( the king ) is taking a wife
now..."
Koko : not just a wife but royal princess "
I looked at her making her stop talking so I can see
where this story is going
Sli / gran: we fully aware of that that why we
thought that the king can consider taking Silindile
as second wife ..."
Koko clapped hands " yooh"
Austin set up straight I on the other hand was
speechless it all made sense on what makhumalo
said now
Me : why "
The Uncle smiled " you see the king can take as
many wife's he wants after he marries his rightful
Queen so for the well being of Zithelo it will be
best if her mother and father leave under the

413 | P a g e
same roof as husband and wife "
I nodded and they smiled
Me : so let's say I do take Silindile as second wife
... For the sake of Zee you say right. .. "
Koko : sorry to cut you off my son but as Queen
the laws of the royal house say that a man does
not chose a second wife the Queen herself must
see a need if the house needs another women she
will find the perfect match suited for her husband
and they will make her second wife ... All I'm
trying to say is that we hear what you saying but
its not up to the king but to his Queen to make
that decision "
The man swallowed and looked at one another's
Sli uncle : but there is a child involved "
Koko : she Mnguni and her mother is free to visit
her anytime "
Grandfather : you can not separate a child from
her mother "
Austin : technically we doing Sli a favour she
hardly at home and we can not allow one of our
own to be baby seated by people we do not truest
"
The uncle : nkosi yami wena uthini ( my king what
do you say )

414 | P a g e
Me : I can not go against the word of my Queen
mother and right hand man "
The uncle : there has to be away that we can do ...
You can not just impregnate a women and leave
her like a uses tissue ... You need to take
responsibility of your actions !"
Wow did this ass raise his voice at me
Koko : yeyiwena who do you think you are coming
to our home and disrespecting us like this ??!!
They bow down and apologizes
Me : ok if i hear you correctly you asking that Sli
becomes my second wife and technically my other
Queen right ?"
Koko : iyoooooh with that commoners blood I
don't think so "
Austin chuckled
Me :so i marry your daughter and we unite
families right ? "
He nodded
Sli / gran: yebo Nkosi yami you see I was not
happy about you only acknowledged Zithelo when
I introduced her to your family that some how left
Silindile and an outcasts ...she has never been the
same after that ...so this might help her ..."_
Me : I see "

415 | P a g e
Koko : ubonani Mvelo "
I raised my hand indicating to her that she must
stop she mumbled something and folded her arms
Me : I understand that you want me to do this for
Zithelo thank you for having Zee best interest at
heart but what's in for you old man ?"
He stopped smiling and looked at me
Me : I know how you were kicked out from the
Ncube royal house "
Well let just say that I do my research and
background check on every one that comes to my
house ... I never trusted this man from the word
go the fact that he took Zee against sli will and
came with her here told me two things it's either
he was being a concern parent doing the right
thing or his intention were just based on what he
may benefit in all off this when I had a talk with
Makhumalo I knew very well that he might be the
one conspiring to have his hands on my family
riches
Him : I was young back than and I'm ashamed of
what I did "
Me : you committed treason you sold information
about the royal house you worked for to its
enemy "

416 | P a g e
He looked down
Me : I know that you are an opportunist when you
realises that a man who knocked up Silindile is
royalty you went against Sli will to introduced the
child to me you wanted a reward from me but I
only took my child and thanked you ...you have
tried using muthi on Zee but that alone almost
killed you when you were faced with a lion ... And
now you thought that you must use Silindile ... If I
marry her that will give you a seat in my kingdom
... So stop me if I'm wrong !!"
The man was sweating ... The uncle knelled before
me
" I'm sorry your highness I did not know "
Me : Austin call the guards ... I never want to see
you in my house in Silindile house if I found out
that you still consulting with your Witch I will not
hesitate to kill you ... I'm only giving you your
pathetic life to keep because you're Silindile
family... And if you think about double crossing
me ever again ...Nci....Nci. Nci....uzophambana
nezulu "_
They were bagging me crying and asking me to
have mercy on there lives
Me : I have lean that if you allow your enemy's to

417 | P a g e
live they might regroup and strike again ... I can
not risk that I have a child and wife to take care
off so watch your back old man ...."
I stood up calling sbahle leaving the man crying
.
.
Sbahle ***
We finally arrived in Swaziland Mvelo reserved
rooms for us in his hotel I was escorted to his
penthouse in the hotel
Mom : wow this is beautiful "I looked around and
yep it was breath taking Didy mom and the other
aunts were lost I looked at the huge picture
hanging on the wall Mvelo was seated on his royal
chair he was wearing his royal outfit and on his
left it was his grandmother on his right it was her
sister and on the floor there was big white lion
Mom: next picture he will hang will be of you and
him "
She hugged me from behind
Me: is that a real lion ? "
Her : it looks real to me ..." i gasped while she
laughed
I still wish to know why his village is called
Ngonyama village ...( village of the great lions )

418 | P a g e
could it be that they have strange relationship
with lions ?
Mom : go get ready love we don't have much time
"
Didy dragged me by the hand rushed me to the
gust room to do my make up one of my Cousin
Nosipho took out the dress and stated screaming I
looked at them also and I must admit I could not
believe this were mine
Didy : I'm glad you like them hope they fit come
seat down let me do my magic "
Me : who taught you make up I mean this whole
fashion things "
Didy : you were not the only one that was lock up
having this blood is curse I tell you so it was
pointless in crying about being a prison in my own
home so I took classes on line and I guess I was
good at it ..."
Me : wow ... I'm so proud of you ..."
Her : yah "
She said feeling down
Me : what's wrong ... "
Didy : For me to get my degree in fashion I must
showcase my designs but my father is not buying
it ... Next year he told me I'm going to Capetown

419 | P a g e
to study a cause chosen by him ... "
Nosipho : at least you not arranged to get
married"
Didy : I wish I was maybe I can start leaving my life
.. "
Nosipho : sister listen hear not all arranged
marriage are as beautiful as Sbahle's she is lucky
she is loved... "
I looked down I was wrapped up in my own screw
up childhood that I didn't even realise that I'm not
the only one that going trough this
Nosipho: so you nervous about today "
Me: yep " I looked at nosipho she looks more like
our maid then our blood relative's she was really
close with Aunt Thabi I still don't know her story
but she looks old then her real age
Didy: hayi sisi stop moving around you will make
my work of art messy
Nosiho : art is messy didy
We laughed
Nosipho :I heard what Nwabisa did I'm very sorry
"
Me : its OK she was influenced by her mom ..."
Didy : but to see herself worthy to have your man
and you not deserving ... She is not the kind of

420 | P a g e
family I want to keep around "
Nosipho : girl don't say that you know behind
closed doors you don't know what life's she leaves
"
Me :but she is educated and about to marry to a
family that likes her being someone's wife is just a
bonus for her I still can not get why she said that
Mvelo deserves a women like her then me "
Nosipho : again I'm going to tell you this not all
arranged marriage are like yours some of us left
home kicking and screaming ... So be grateful that
you have kind loving carrying man ... Not all of us
are that Lucky .. I'm not trying to say what she did
was right ... But sometimes we always wish to
have what others have ...based on the life we are
leaving "
Me : be careful what you wish for ...you don't
know nothing about my life "
Nosipho : it looks better then how my life turned
out to be .. I got 3 kids with a man I don't love it
was forced marriage that I sometimes wish I had
strength to take my life and my kids because
every time I try to leave something keeps pulling
me back " I know I'm not an emotional person no
enjoy physical contact but she needs a hug ...

421 | P a g e
I stood up and hugged her
Nosipho : don't Cry please I'm good after giving
him 3_children he found another young girl that
he spend time with in the city ... So finally I have
my freedom its not perfect but its my freedom "
Didy : fuck I hate being a Bhengu " she was a
crying mess so was nosipho"
Me : you and me both "
Nosipho : I guest I do too because my mom is
Bhengu ..."
Me : yaa maybe you right about Nwabisa I judge
her before getting to know the real deal about her
"
Didy : even so that does not justify what she did "
I nodded this got me thinking about Nwabisa she
leaves a veery private life what was her end game
in all off this
Didy finally was done with my make up I looked at
my self in the mirror and screamed she stopped
me just in time before I touched my face
Me: what have you done?
Didy : you don’t like it?
Me : no I love it I look so so so..."
Didy:beautiful I know princess you deserve to
shine and this is your day don’t you dare cry

422 | P a g e
please just hold it in let me get dressed while your
face set .." I could not believe that I looked so
amazing mom knocked on the door and she had
tears of joy on her eyes she hugged me so tight
she was all dressed up and looking elegant as
always she looked at me
Mom: awusemhle mtanami
Me: tanks maka sbahle
Mom: we living now Nsika will go with us because
you ladies are taking forever to finish Wena
Nosipho asambe ... Mlondi will take you girls and
that screaming must stop please..."
We laughed she left and Didy advised me to pick a
dress I did not want to were white it was not my
wedding after all and yellow was so not my style
so I went with royal blue dress the shade of baby
blue in this dress was not too bright no to light
but a perfect shade it was one arm and had a rose
like pattern of glitter that going across the dress it
was body hugging and showing my curves the
dress was long and had a fish tail design didy jaws
could not drop any lower that it was.
Me: so how do I look ?
didy: breath taking
Didy : you got curves?"

423 | P a g e
We laughed my phone rang and didy answered it
Didy : Sbahle phone hello
she put the phone on loud speaker it was Mvelo
today he has been calling and blowing my phone
like crazy
Mvelo : aaah hi... May I please speak to Sbahle
please"
Didy : she has cold feet I don’t think she can do
this
We giggled
Mvelo: what? I’m coming right there now !
Didy : just kidding tiger we are on our way we just
need to convince Cinderella to wear hills and we
off"
Mvelo : people are panicking now kindly hurry up
please by the way may I speak to Sbahle
Didy : nop..." I snatched the phone from her
Me : hi"
Him : baby where are you ...should I come get you
?
I laughed
Me : I'm on my way ..."
I heard him breath out loud
We did not talk much as he told me that my
family just arrived ohh shoot we are late I hanged

424 | P a g e
up after calming him down
Didy : now that what I call love "
we laughed I toked my shoes there were silver
stilettos hills I do not know why girls wear such
shoes there are so uncomfortable
Me : didy take my sleepers please I do not think I
will last the whole night with this shoes
I grabbed my clash bag looked at my self in the
mirror again I smiled to myself we took couple of
selfies before we left didy and social media she
felt the need to brag about this event and post my
pics. we left home around 19:10 yep we were
fashionable late I was looking to fabulous and to
stunning to care.

Chapter 42

Sbahle***
We arrived at the royal house and wow I must say
that damn this people are rich the palace was
something out of this world I have never seen
such beauty the car did not park in front of the
house but took another road within the royal
realms there were lot of tress decorate in light

425 | P a g e
that we passed by
Me : where we going " I asked Mlondi
Him : the guards said I must follow this threes I
will see an out door lay out "
Didy : wow this place is so beautiful "
Mlondi : keep saying that and you will walk to the
event "
I laughed while Didy pouted i continued to do my
breath exercise the near we got the place the
more my heart rate jumped to my throat was I
having cold feel or wedding jitters it was all
happening at the same time the car engine
stopped and I looked outside the venue And
indeed it was an spectacular outdoor event the
setting was by the dam or river this right here you
only see on T.V or wedding magazines
there was a stretch tent and the decoration was
out of this world just by looking it from outside
the music was playing softly in the background
and everyone was dressed up for the event I was
glad to see that the guest list was at minimum
judging by the cars parked outside.
Fear creped in what does the most hottest
bachelor who's also a King see in girl like me I'm
just a rural princess this kind of life is not for me ..

426 | P a g e
Will I fit in ? ... Will this marriage last ... Does he
really love me?
Mlondi turned and looked at me
Him : you ready "
I bit my lip and nodded
Him : you know you still have time to stop this
whole thing ... Just say the word "
I thought of Mvelo I can not humiliate him like this
but throughout the time I have spent with him
there was so much unsaid we just fell in love
without addressing what love is .. After what my
mom went through I can not even think I will
survive that I'm no expect in love I mean his the
first men I have kissed said I love you and will
allow in my father's palace.
Mlondi shook me " are you OK ?" He asked
Me : I'm good "
Him : OK if you say so " he stepped out and opens
the door for me
I tried stepping out of the car but I was too
nervous Mlondi asked me to step out of the car
I just looked I way
Didy : come on sis lets go"
I kept quiet
Mlondi breath out loud and closed the door

427 | P a g e
I could not find the right words to say i was scared
... Im only 18 for goodness sake this is too much
for me
Didy: this is your day sisi stop shying out for once
in your life do you ... Mvelo loves you and he will
make you happy this is the day to shine like you
were born too"
I shook my head I took out my phone and started
typing a message to mvelo
Me : hi I'm outside I'm sorry for coming late but I
have so many questions and doubtful thought
about us I have no experience in love but I know
what I want If you’re going to want to earn my
love then you’re going to have to be willing to do
whatever it takes to prove to me that you’re
worthy of my attention. You are going to have to
be resilient and persistent. You can’t give up so
easily. I need to know that you’re going to be the
kind of guy who sits and stays even when life
starts to get hard and rough. I need to know that
you’re going to be the kind of guy who is going to
be willing to face whatever adversities our
relationship may have to face. And if you’re just
going to give up on me just because I’m making it
a little too hard for you then I will have dodged a

428 | P a g e
bullet.... I just need you to be honest with me I’m
not single because I can’t be loved. I’m just single
because I know what love looks like funny that i
don't gave a choice of not settling for anything
less because of the blood that runs inside of me . .
you call me the chosen one am I that for you or
for your kingdom .. I need to know what am I
getting myself into so that I will know my role " ...
I punched in send
didy : no man you can not do this after everything
you have been through you going to run away
from happiness ?"
Me : all this glitz and gold may not be worth the
shine Didy ... Just let me think for once please"_
I placed my hands on my face
Didy jumped out of the car i'm guessing to call my
Mom I did not care less because she was the one
that agreed to this in the first place it's like
everything that I went trough come rushing back
listening to Nosipho story made me realised that
this is an arranged marriage after all man change
and what will that leave me It’s so hard having to
deal with the stigma of being unmarried especially
when you born with royal blood . It’s just so
frustrating – as if the integrity of my existence is

429 | P a g e
merely tied to whether I’m in a relationship or
not. I hate that we all live in a society that over-
glorifies false loves and mediocre romances. It’s
as if you’re automatically assumed to be living a
decent life so as long as you’re in a married with
someone – regardless if that relationship is
making you happy or not. It’s sick. It’s disgusting...
Yes I'm happy now and I feel love but my gut
feeling is telling me that heartbreak is knocking on
my window am I ready to give a heart to a man
that will turn around and break it ?
The voices where to much ... I'm over thinking I
can't breathe the minute Didy stepped out of the
car I just press auto lock button on the car and
locked myself inside my mother came few
minutes later i could hear her but was not
moved... I hate this feeling of loving Mvelo so
much that I even fear of what the future holds for
us
My mother called out my name knocking on the
window the voices in my head were to loud that I
blocked her out she started banging on the
window and demanded I open the door I did no
such I just put my hands on my ear trying to shut
everyone out she banged the window and kept

430 | P a g e
shouting at me I just sat there and put my head
down she even threaten to smash the window of
the car I just did not careless I kept saying to
myself please just go away I'm sure my brothers
were toasting victory to my actions right now ...
Out of a sudden it just became quiet I felt relief
that they have given up . moment later there was
a soft knock on the window I raised my head to
look Mvelo was standing there with his hands on
is pocket he was wearing a black / Navy tuxedo
white shirt with black buttons he was not wearing
a tie he was not wearing a tie I looked at his face
but he did not show any expression he just looked
at me after it felt like a lifetime looking at each
other
mvelo : open the door please "
I rolled down the window and did not say a word
Him: may I come in please
I looked at him and pressed the unlock button . he
walked towards the driver's seat opened the door
and he started the car
Him: let's get away from here"
I nodded and we drove away
.
.

431 | P a g e
Mvelo ***
What suppose to be a family dinner turned out to
be something out of control the guest list moved
from 20 to 50 the Bhengu rocked up in numbers
and then my friends close neighboring royalty
family business friends it was just too much I had
a feeling that Sbahle might not feel comfortable
with this whole thing " too crowded for her " and
yes my suspicions came to reality looking at her
crying and confused broke my heart she needed
air so I decided on a drive to clear her mind .
Her massage was direct and not filtered one of
the things I love about her is how she is so direct
and speaks her mind
we were not far from the venue but it was
secluded we stood outside the car I place her on
top of the car and stood in between her legs I
placed my jacket over her shoulder she looked
very beautiful I'm the luckiest man right now
Her : stop looking at me like that "
Me : you beautiful "
She looked down
Me : do you still want to marry me ? "
She slowly nodded
I breath out loud and ran my hands on my face

432 | P a g e
Me : why do you compare what you and I have to
rest of what the world have ? "
Her : I have never been in love before so I don't
know this feeling if its real if its temporally or fake
..."
Me : Sbahle me and you we were arranged to get
married for the sake of our villages .. But I fell in
love with you I'm not saying ' I do ' to a stranger
tomorrow but I'm saying. ' I do' to a women I have
fallen in love with look Sthandwa sami ..Love is a
risk. When we fall in love with someone we are
essentially taking a chance on that person. Why?
Because whenever we fall in love we get used to a
certain way of feeling; a certain way of looking at
the world. However love can falter. Love can fail.
Love can change. And when that happens we are
forced to adjust. Sometimes love can even force
us to let go. And that’s always painful. That’s
always going to be difficult. That is always the
kind of struggle that most people wish they
wouldn’t have to go through. But still that’s the
truth of love. It can rise but it can also fall. And
that’s why I only want to be placing my chips in
you because i know that you actually going to give
me the best chances at not losing it all ..."

433 | P a g e
She looked at me with tears in her
Me : let me teach you to love babe I'm not perfect
but I rather be single then not have this chance
with you "
I breath out loud and chuckled
Me : look at what you made me do now ... I just
said my vows to you "
She chuckled and buried her face on my shoulders
Her : do you still want to marry me after what
happened tonight? "
I laughed and held her waist
Me : of cause I will marry you ... I love how you
made me an Ass in front of everyone by not
showing up on time and when you do arrive you
refuse to get out of the car you send me a long ass
massage breaking up with me .. " I bust out and
laughed she held her mouth before joining me
Me : you different Sbahle you are your own
person if something does not seat right with you
you don't compromise. You don't worship me or
make me the center of your world you just ... A
breath of fresh air "
I held her hand
Me : I know this may sound cocky and conceited
at first. It may be coming off that I’m a little foo

434 | P a g e
full of myself; that I think that I am entitled to all
of the best things that life can offer. But when it
comes to you is it really so wrong to be thinking
that way? Is it really so wrong for us to want only
what we want; and to not settle for anything that
we feel like we aren’t meant for? ... I need a
strong women by my side Sbahle I'm a difficult
man to handle and I get bored if a women does
not challenge me ...you my little feisty princess
you keep me on my toes all the time and love that
about you "
Without warning she attacked me with a kiss it
was juicy heated and so good I found myself
moaning in her mouth fuck does this women
knows that I haven't had sex in weeks and she
does this too me I think she felt my Boner because
she pulled out
Her : we can go back I'm ready now "
Fuck I'm horny....I mumbled I adjusted my pants
she looked at me and shyly looked away
She jumped down and fixed her dress damn
Sbahle body is banging I like how her small tummy
pushes her ass out that hourglass kind of figure
just made my blood hot it's going to be long night
with her by my side looking like that .....

435 | P a g e
Chapter 43

Sbahle***"
The whole time driving back Mvelo was on his
phone I have noticed that he is a perfectionist and
the orders he was giving made me see that he
rules with strict order ... No he was not
demanding per say but he wanted to make sure
that everything is ready for us.
Me: I still think you making a fuss about this
whole thing "
He side smile and kissed the back of my hand
Him : for you I will bring the moon and sun to your
feet "
I blushed and looked down
Him: some one has been asking for you for a while
now "
Me : who ?"
I smiled thinking it could be Zee
Him : I can't tell you that but can we do Quick stop
so you can see for yourself “ I nodded but quickly
reminded our guest
Me : dinner ?"
Him : that can wait ... She is more important "
Me : ok... "

436 | P a g e
It was not long drive because it was within the
royal realms When we arrived at the venue we did
not go to the main entrance but there was some
sort of log cabin at the back of the stretch tent it
was beautiful big house you know if this people
were not rich I will say it's there house but I guess
to them this is just another outdoor cabin nje my
shoes were killing me now and I'm guessing Mvelo
notice because I kept saying
“ ouch … shuuu “ while walking to the door
Without any warning he scooped me up
Me : “ Mvelo ! “
Him : “ you in pain … “ I smiled and rested my
head on his shoulder he placed me down the
minute we entered the cabin and took off my
shoes he has an obsession with my feet every
time he touch them he will rub and run his hands
gently as if giving me a massage
Him : better? "
I nodded I walked around the house the inside
was more beautiful but way to manly it looked so
warm and cosy the brown timber and brown
leather touch made it look so earthly elegant for
an office environment or jazz bar
Him : when I first got here this was the place I

437 | P a g e
called home … then we upgraded to the palace
you saw when you drove in “
Me ; was the deco always like this ...? "
I frowned no women will live in such a place he
just laughed and shook his head
Him : “ well I made it a men cave after we moved
to the new royal house this is where I escape too
when I feel like the world is weighing me down “
Me : “ like you feeling right now ?“
Her squinted his eyes and cleared his throat I
know that his going to act as if he did not hear me
Me : “ I will let it slide for now but I need you to
tell me what’s going on before i walk down that
aisle “
Him : why do I feel like you not giving me any
choice here Mabhengu "
Me : because as much as we can fight it we are
very much connected what I feel you feel and
right now I know something is not right I can see it
in your eyes as well"
He kissed my forehead “ I promise I will tell you
but first let me show you “
He held my hand and we walked through a long
passage till he opened the door
The room looked like a hospital ward with

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machines beeping I notice Sbu seating on the
chair next to the bed I looked at Mvelo he sniffed
his eyes changed he squeezed my waist a little bit
hard I did not move I just took it all in and allowed
him take out his pain on me he then walked past
me heading to the other side of the bed who ever
is their must be really tiny as I can hardly see
them from where I was standing.
I found my feet leading me close to the bed
following Mvelo he set next to a frail beautiful
lady laying lifeless on the bed she smiled at him I
know this face...
Mvelo : “ hey princess “
She lifted her hand and touched his cheek she
weakly smiled at him
“ where is my Queen “ she asked it came out as a
whisper Mvelo looked down before lifting his
head to look at me Sbu stood up when he notice
my presence
Mvelo :” hi sisi … please meet my Queen Sibahle
Bhengu … “ he looked at me … I have never Seen
him like this he was broken “ baby come meet my
one and only beautiful sister Pamela
Nonkwenkwezi Mnguni Ngcobo “ ooh my God it
Pam

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Pam : wow did you really have to call out my full
names are we in home affairs or something ?
I smiled now I see the attitude I was warned
about she slowly raised her eyes to meet mines
and i smiled I felt like crying I know I have never
meet her but I felt like I known her for years
Mvelo talks about her all the time .
But why did Mvelo not tell me about her
condition he just told me that her pregnancy is
complicated and she could not travel that's why
she did not attend my Zibizo ceremony in my
house I moved to where Sbu was seated she
offered me her had and I held it it was soft and so
tiny.
Her: ooh my God you are so beautiful “
Me : “ thank you ... You also beautiful " indeed
she is she maybe sick but her smile small lips her
eyes and an afro of curly hair enhanced her
beautiful features
Her : ungazo dlala wena ... You should have seen
me in my times yooo bengibaba girl "
I laughed I like her free spirit
Me : I have heard so much about you I can not
believe I'm finally meeting you “
Her : I hope this douchebag told you all nice

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things about me"
Mvelo laughed " how can I not when you bully me
every time you get "
They laughed
Her : “ are you sure you can see kodwa makoti
wami those eyes of yours are not normal for a
black girl "
They bust out and laughed while I pouted My
whole life I got teased a lot for having small eyes
never thought that my own sister in-law will make
fun of me as well and my men will actually laugh
at me too
Mvelo : let me leave you two before she tells me
she's not marrying me for laughing at her "
Pam : you got it bad bro "
Me and Mvelo chuckled since me and him get the
joke
Her : “boys can you give me time to talk to my
sister in law while I pouted My whole life I got
teased a lot for having small eyes never thought
that my own sister in-law will make fun of me as
well and my men will actually laugh at me too
Mvelo : let me leave you two before she tells me
she's not marrying me for laughing at her "
Pam : you got it bad bro "

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Me and Mvelo chuckled since me and him get the
joke
Her : “boys can you give me time to talk to my
sister in law we have a lot to catch up on ...and
baby can you pass my phone “ sbu gave Pam her
phone Mvelo looked at me and I just nodded that
he may leave he kissed Pam hand and Sbu kissed
her forehead Sbu showed me an emergency
button and told me that Dr and nurse are in the
next room they left leaving me with pam she
smiled at me.
Her : so where do we start since I really don't
have much time "
.
.
Mvelo ***
“ how is she ? “
I asked Sbu as we set in the lounge
“ she is stable … the Dr just confirmed that the
baby is restless and she will do a C-section after
the wedding “
I nodded
Him : “ so you and Sbahle you really are doing this
?“
I smiled and nodded

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Him : “ look Bro marriage means life time
commitment and to be honest I don’t trust Sbahle
brothers the way they look at you they waiting for
to you to slipup and they will be on your throat “
Me : “ I know “ I set there thinking about Sbahle
and the Pink elephant in our relationship that we
have to address
Me : “I'm really scared to tell Sbahle about Sli “
He looked at me
Him : “ do you still have unresolved feelings for
her ? “
Honestly I don’t Sli was my first love i was 18
when I fell in love for the first time. It felt like all
of the movies TV shows and love songs finally
made sense but back of my mind I knew the
success rate of high school relationships was way
low and to top it up Sli was older I was 18 she was
27 I was student she was my teacher she was a
widow and I was a fuck boy she was lonely and I
was there and shit happens both hormones and
love’s disorienting effects made me think this
could be it.
When me and her parted it felt like a break up I
guess I wanted a sense of belonging from her and
few years later it hit me that the very first person

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you love is usually just that " the first" I felt stuck
in cynicism and sadness for about a year or so I
looked for a girl that has her personality and
screwed up very badly.
Me : nah man I have crossed that bridge she is a
good women no doubt but looking at the person I
am now she was just going to be another Becky in
my life a clingy cry baby ...you know i realise that
The notion that love is not eternal is not shocking
nor original so at times i ask myself that why do I
still struggle to grasp it?....well It makes sense
intellectually but how do you accept it
emotionally? "
Him : you move on I guess ... You got a good
women in that girl and I see her growing up to be
a woman that can tame you "
I chuckled that so true you know I’ve spent the
past year thinking about how to let go of a first
love Sli looked as my forever because I have told
myself I will never find another one like her I was
ball of mess but being around you know fucking
around she just remained a memory and after she
started to feel like just another girl I have
screwed.
sbu : aish bro she is still link to you via Zee what

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you going to do about it ?"
Me : I don't know ... Sbahle is young and frankly I
don't know how she going to take this "
Him : be honest with her tell her everything trust
me I know the importance of honesty when it
comes to women I kept Sne mother a secret from
Pam for years and when I found out that Pam was
digging information about us and why I took full
custody of Sne it almost broke our marriage ...
You know why because I took the child from its
mother because of our messy break up that was
never resolved and it almost destroyed my
current relationship with your sister "
Me : what ? Pam never told me about this ? "
Him: because she is a wife and Ngcobo marital
dispute are locked in our bedroom ... It all start
with talking to each other ... No matter how dark
the secrete is if love is a light there is a way "
I nodded I know that I respect Sbahle enough to
keep my distance from Sli but how do I do that
when she is a mother of my child and somehow
resent Sbahle for being around in my life instead
of her how are we going to parents to Zee all
three of us without biting our heads off
Me :Sli is just another different person this day

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and dahm she makes me so mad "
He bust our and laughed
Him : “ this might only mean that you outgrown
her face it Mfethu you were young back then she
might have been the best thing to happen in your
life then but values change look at the men you
turned out to be she would have not lasted a
month with you but she would have chose to stay
because of Zithelo she would have agreed to a
whole lot of shit that you would have dished up to
her and girls like her are too weak to just walk
away and that would have turned you to different
men all together "
I clicked my tongue as he laughed at me
thinking about how it was so easy for me go back
and forth between her legs while she knew very
well that I had found interest in Sbahle has proven
that she was never in control of this relationship
from the word go but I was.
The door swung open
Me : what going ? " it was Zoe with Veli
Zoe : non of your business " .they walked past us
made there way to the kitchen I heard veli
instructing people to put this here and there I
made my way to the them I saw few catering guys

446 | P a g e
doing there thing
Sbu : and then ?
Veli : Pam can sure order me around on that bed I
only had few hour's to do this " she breath out
loud and held her waist
Sbu : what going on ? "
Veli : last minute bridal shower "
Me : what ? " ....
Zoe : bye boys .... " she pushed us out as we
passed more girls coming in she closed the door
on our face
I looked at Sbu who was about to explode
Me : hay don't look at me like that .... your wife
did this "
.
.
to be continued ..

Chapter 44

Sbahle ***
I heard noise outside my room or should I say
Mvelo room in the penthouse it's already morning
its my wedding day Bitches but I feel the weight of

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the world on my shoulder pushing me down I'm
debating if I should get out of bed or not my head
was pounding my throat so dry .
I turned around and looked at time it was 04:30
am in the morning it’s my wedding day and I have
bags under my eyes due to not sleeping I cried so
much last night and Pam being Pam made me
laugh it out by hosting my surprise bridal shower
it was nothing big but I was grateful for all the
gifts I got and hanging around with crazy girls I
wish that I was a drinker maybe just maybe I
would have forgotten the talk I had with Pam
early.
But when I got back to the hotel I was filled with
mixed emotions that I ended up having an
insomnia i cried so much I don’t even want to look
at myself in the mirror right now... My mom
thought it was wedding jitters or me having cold
feet but if only she knew.
Mvelo on the other hand was blowing up my
phone non stop I don't even know when he stop
he was worried sick about me but I assured him
that I’m ok
“ Sbahle you're heart is heaving I'm even getting
chest pain and you sniffing I’m coming there right

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now !!“
I could not let him abandon his friends that had
decided to throw him a bachelor party this was
my budded that I needed to deal with headstrong
and alone besides he was the last person I wanted
to be with from what Pam told me about him and
his baby mama I just needed space to digest
everything. Am I ok now ? On this very same day
of my wedding ? Not by a long shot but I kept my
promise to go ahead with this wedding no matter
what
So here I am looking at myself in mirror it's The
morning of my wedding its a special and highly
emotional time for everyone accept me the bride
Not only is it the last morning I will have as an
unmarried person it’s also a small window for me
to pack all my belongings check everything is in
order with my Membeso ceremony and get to the
ceremony in good time. An array of emotions just
surface and each one i debated if I should honour
as I prepare to start my new life.
With all the hair and make-up to perfect time-
keeping and last minute preparations mom told
me its normal to feel a bit disoriented few hours
before the ceremony she saw right through me

449 | P a g e
that I'm not ok but again she still believed that its
jitters.
" why your eyes so red " Mlondi asked
" just missing dad " I lied I knew he was not going
to ask me further he hugged me and told me he is
proud of me .
The drive to the Mnguni palace Everything just
seem a bit unreal – the big day is finally here! I'm
trying so hard to handle the confusion by staying
grounded I take a moment to have a cup of tea
but can't stomach anything I'm nervous excited
and shit terrified.
I can't believe that everything was planned for me
yes Veli did an outstanding work looking at the
deco and my outfits but i still feel some kind of a
way because not once was I asked what I like or
don't my point of view was not considered...but I
doubt any wife's point of view matter when the
marriage is arranged . Apparently Mvelo wanted
to do the whole wedding in one day and
tomorrow we suppose to go on our honeymoon I
don’t know what’s the rush was but his the king
and his word is final.
My traditional wedding was a white and African
print theme people came out in number to attend

450 | P a g e
this wedding and to celebrate with me I was tired
of smiling and waving Mvelo on the other hand
was over the moon it was good to see him like
this but i had a lot on my mind to be in that happy
place with him one look at Pam's kids and Sbu I
felt tears building up in my eyes My body was
there but my mind was miles away
If anyone told me about how sincere a person
dying wish list is I would have not listened to Pam
I would most probably have said that
“I’m too young to fulfil a dying person wish “
yesterday events started played in my head like
tape recorder on repeat Pam really poured out
her heart to me it was our first time meeting each
other but she already knew what to say to me and
what is expected of me in this family
“ Sibahle I know that you young but if you marry
Mvelo you not only marrying him but you
marrying his family his people his entire life as
well I may not live long to be there for him or my
family but I trust you will be there I know that you
love him I see it in your eyes and in the way he
looks at you Our family is a circle of strength of
love Sbahle with every birth and every union the
circle grows … keep my family safe from harm's

451 | P a g e
way make the royal house feel worm … never ever
make my kids see that there is something missing
… they are young they will soon call you mom
teach them about love ….make them know that
Love is patient love is kind. It does not envy it
does not boast it is not proud. It does not
dishonour others it is not self-seeking it is not
easily angered it keeps no record of wrongs. Love
does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects always trusts always hopes
always hopes always perseveres. Love never
fails…. Teach them about faith show them how to
pray make them fear God “
When she spoke about her children her face will
light up she told me that when she says her
children Zithelo is included and I must never make
her feel like an outsider she may not be my
biological child but If I love her father I need to
love her unconditionally too.
As I sit here looking at happy faces feasting
drinking singing and all the speech and gift
offering I fake a smile I’m carrying Pam's weight
on my shoulder she expected a lot from me she
trusted me with a lot of things am I even ready for
such responsible ? but yet again I think Pam left

452 | P a g e
me with no choice she was not pleading or
bagging me she had this planned for months now
she gave me instruction on how to run this house
when she is gone you know If granting the dying
person's last wish will help appease her mind
while dying then it should be done regardless of
me being ready or not I can not go ageist the
promise I made it's important for Pam to let go of
all worldly attachments to rest in peace and I pray
to god that she does not die but her mind is made
up she told me she is tired she told she knows her
fate and I must not cry for her but rejoice the life
she has left for me.
Him : “ Sthandwa sami ukahle ?" I wiped a tear on
my eyes and smiled He held my hand we were
seated on the throne seat I was crowned his
Queen and Him my King he was holding my hand I
felt powerful the seat was mine its a feeling I can't
explain but I could not sit and enjoy it reign as I
was a ball of emotions have you ever meet a
person for two seconds in your life but had this
undistinguished bond with them like you have
known each other for years that me and Pam.
Me : “ I just need to use the ladies room please “
Austin walked to us

453 | P a g e
Austin : the garden is ready for the royal white
wedding ... "
Him : we need to get ready "
I nodded I hate this I have change my outfit for
trillion times now since this morning and no doubt
I'm tired Mvelo has tendencies of leaving people
he invited behind to do his own thing the same
thing he did last night he will do today our white
wedding is an intimate ceremony with only family
members and few close friends the royal garden is
a sacred place and not everyone is allowed there.
He kissed my cheek a girl that was appointed as
my ward escorted me to one of the guest room I
was followed by my makeup artist hairstylist and
my designer with lot of guards .
You may ask yourself why I'm not using the main
bedroom ? well tradition says that I can only go to
the main Bedroom after my wedding festivity we
still had a white wedding something to do with
blood moon that will bless our union and I
thought that amaZulu are traditional but Mvelo's
family is worse … it's tradition this … tradition that
…yoo it's too much.
My ward asked me if I needed anything the
minute I walked inside the room I shook my head

454 | P a g e
No
Me : “ can you leave me please “
She bowed “ yes her majesty “ she told everyone
to wait outside thank God I can finally breathe I
can never get used being called ' my Queen my
Lady her Majesty 'but I guess it is what it is I took
off my shoes and threw myself on the bed I was
woken up by massive cramps on my abdomen I
tossed and turned when I opened my eyes I was
on my wedding dress I felt something wet when I
looked down I was soaked in blood I tried to stand
but the pain was to much I screamed till I felt
hands shaking me I shoot my eyes open and they
landed on Pam she was carrying a baby she
walked to me and placed it on my arms
Her : “ her name is Naledi … take care of her “
I looked at her she was glowing she was beautiful
and looked healthy
Her : “ I have to go my Queen I love you so much
...I'm with you in spirit “
I called out her name when I shoot my eyes open I
found Mvelo looking at me his eyes were
bloodshot
He did not say a word to me but engulfed me in a
hug I cried my lungs out as he brushed my back I

455 | P a g e
could feel my shoulder getting wet he was also
crying …
.
.
To be continued

Chapter 45

Mvelo ****
I could not shake the feeling that Sbahle was not
well one of her servants rushed to me and told
me that she is crying in her sleep I rushed to her
room and found her shaking as if she is having a
seizure her eyes turned back and only a white part
was showing Makhumalo walked in and took
Sbahle left hand and she inserted goatskin wrist
band and some red and white beads
Makhumalo : we don't have enough time you
need to wake her up “
I nodded she left the room I held her hand and I
saw her dream I was there the pain she felt it
looked and felt so real when she finally woke up
her tears just gushed down I pulled her into a hug
I hate Pam for telling Sbahle about her being sick

456 | P a g e
not only that but her throwing in the towel When
one hears the word cancer it can elicit a variety of
reactions. Personally the only word that struck a
deeper chord was hearing the word “terminal.” To
be told that even today with all this modern
medicine the world has to offer it is the saddest of
realities that people still do die from cancer. It did
not make me any more prepared for what the
actuality of that statement truly meant. As she
continued living life despite the looming diagnosis
of terminal hanging over her till came the day
when she was to tired to fight she didn't want to
be alive and to feel pain anymore she was just
fucken half-dead- alive and I could not do shit
about it .. I'm haunted by our past memory and
the future we planned together This was almost a
pre-grief seeing her in that bed A sadness that we
knew would befall those closest to her due to the
fact that we knew she was going to lose her life.
How and when it will that happened we had no
idea but prayed for a miracle The advice that was
given was to fight and Try our best to enjoy the
time we had with her . To try and stave off the
grief until she was really gone.
This morning My sister did not feel like waking up

457 | P a g e
she said she was tired she told Sbu to enjoy the
wedding she had few minutes chat with Sbahle
and hugged her children dearly she requested to
go to hospital She was in pain and blamed it for
not resting last night .. she was happy she looked
better then she was days back due to my wedding
taking place she made me promise to visit her
once me and Sbahle are husband and wife Pam's
word is always finale she is stubborn and
hotheaded I could not disagree with her even if I
could .
Sbahle : I hurts so bad Mvelo “
Me : “ I know baby … “
Her : “ I need to see her “
I just held her tight I broke down and cry fuck the
statement that man don’t cry we talking about my
one and only sister here we had our upside down
fought like any other siblings but she has been the
only person that was holding it down for me for
years she was a parent to me I am who I am today
because of her how do I continue? how do i go on
it was quite complex situate We are facing losing
a sister and a daughter within our family that had
been beyond close to each and every one of us
but was not quite shattered since cancer had

458 | P a g e
come into our lives. The structure of our family
had shifted and changed as each of us has coped
drastically differently as time unfolded. So how do
I cope stay in this place how do i look at Sbahle
and tell her everything will be ok while I don't
know if I'm coming or going I'm walking around an
open bleeding heart.. what do I do where I see
that there might be no future for my sister and it
feels like there’s no future for anyone in this
house without her really? How do i put my clothes
on in the morning and look in the mirror without
screaming? How do i show up to her kids when it
feels like I'm dying inside? How do i keep
pretending keep tolerating the blindness of
everyone and everything around me "
“ Ngonyama and Ndlonkulu … we are ready for
you “
It was my grandmother I slowly untangle myself
from my wife arms
Me : baby ... We need to do this now"
She looked at me as if i'm crazy
Her : “ what … we cant I need to go to the hospital
right now !! “
I just looked down
Koko : “ Ndlonkulu … Nokwenkwezi is fine I just

459 | P a g e
finished talking to Sbu and he told me she in
surgery as we speak the baby was restless so they
doing a C-section “
Me : “ Sthandwa sami … we need to get married “
as much as we traditionally married it is important
that we have this white wedding the ceremony
need be blessed and legally I need Sbahle to be
my wife I wiped her tears as she jumped off the
bed
Her ; No!"
Me : baby calm down please "
Her : calm down ....Mvelo where is Pam....??"
Me : baby the wedding ... " I knew the importance
of me and Sbahle sealing our Union under the
blood moon by tradition this needs to happen as
well
Her : “ that all you worried about Mvelo … this
wedding Pam is fighting for her life and you busy
forcing this marriage into my throat !!! “
I stood up and look at her
Me : “ SHE IS MY SISTER SBAHLE DON’T YOU
THINK I KNOW THAT !!”
Her : “ooh finally you realise ! … wedding or no
wedding she still fighting for her life and from
what I whiteness that baby needs me than those

460 | P a g e
people outside that I have to smile at and pretend
that I’m ok ! “
Koko looked at me and I looked at Sbashe … she
was angry fuming I had no come back I just froze
she put on her sleepers and walk pass me I held
her hand we looked at each other she did not
blink or look down
Her : “ Sbu is alone in that hospital Mvelo he
needs us “ the way this women holds my balls I
just swallowed hard and nodded
Me : “ will use the back door .. “
Koko: Mvelo … the if you do not do this now
….your ancestors will not bless you union … “
Me : “ its risk I’m willing to take family comes first
koko … tell Zoe and Austin they will know what to
do with all people outside“ I looked at Sbahle “
lets go “
I asked one of the guards to escort us out the
royal house was still buzzing and it took forever to
leave the premises Sbahle looked at her wrist
band and looked outside the window her sniffs
were evidence that she was crying
.

461 | P a g e
.
Sbahle ***
I’m glad that they booked the whole floor for Pam
in this hospital because it was mass the minute
we walked in we heard Sbu screaming the
machines were going wild
Sbu : No .. no .. no come back to me you promised
you will never leave me !! PAMMMMMM! …. Dr
do something !!! “
I just saw that one line going of and I looked at
every one in the room and I just held my mouth
…. Mvelo just sank down
Sbu : “ how am I suppose to raise our children on
my own ... please .. please Dr do something please
....” Beeeeep ... beep beep the machines went off
“ I’m sorry Mr. Ngcobo time of death ....“ I just
held my chest I could not hold it in any more so i
rushed out and held my head I screamed and
cried but not as much as Sbu and Mvelo I have
seen men cry before but what was happening
right now I could not take it in anymore my first
thought was to go to Mvelo and comfort him one
of us need to strong.
I heard a baby crying and it alarmed me that it
must be baby Naledi I wiped my tears and

462 | P a g e
followed the sound Wires tubes and monitors are
being juggled between half a dozen nurses In the
middle of it all is a tiny fragile baby born too soon
a baby who shouldn’t be alive but survived due to
her mother's bravery
the Nurse’s look at me with eyes full of sorrow
and pity but they quickly smiled
Me : “ may I come in “
One of them smiled and nodded Naledi was in
NICU she is 17 weeks premature I didn’t get to
hold her but was told to sanitize my hands I
looked at her through the glass my little fighter …
the lone survivor I sat on a special chair tears
welling up in my eyes Excitement fear and anxiety
consumed me all at one
she was beautiful she a premature baby she was
skinny and all wrinkled up seeing a baby for the
first time takes on a new meaning . The constant
beeps and alarms hum through the dimly lit room.
she looked like Pam the nurse gave me her bottle
and she sucked it for her dear life I smiled I had a
purpose now ...

463 | P a g e
Chapter 46

Two weeks later

Sbahle ***
My alarm went off i turned around and was
welcomed by an empty bed and noticed that I was
alone yet again this days I go to bed alone every
night I feel him holding me at night and when I
wake up his not there my husband is grieving
alone and I don't know how to get through to him
I am trying the best I can to take over some of the
work my husband had done so he can have time
to grieve. I don't know if I should encourage or
push him to jump back into work not that I know
where he goes off to everyday but I know its not
work .
I just don't know what to do but I want to do
whatever is best for him I never knew that love
comes with so much compromise I have put
Mvelo before my needs.
How do I help him grieve? How do I help him still
run our business our house ? How do I make sure
he doesn't fall into a depression? He does not talk
to me I know I can not detect how he must grieve
or not but I feel like this silence is causing

464 | P a g e
detachment between us
" have patience my child " my mom will say when
I cry to her in the wee hours
Mom : Your partner will return. The grief will
integrate into his life and psyche and be less of an
overwhelming force that shrouds each day. Grief
doesn’t ever go away; however it does subside
and your partner’s “normal” personality will come
back be patient Sbahle ... Kuyabekezelwa
emshadweni your husband needs you now "
I just wish he could tell me how he feels cry if he
had too but he us just plain ignoring me as if I
don't exist
the last time we spoke was the day of Pam's
funeral
" please wear this "
I looked at it it was a big diamond rock my
wedding ring I expected a hug a smile even a kiss
but he walked past me
Me : Mvelo..." I called out for him he stopped but
did not turn he breath out loud and continued to
walk away taking a chuck of my heart with him.
we hold hands in front of cameras and take pics
for the media to write a perfect story about us but
inside this house we strangers I miss Mvelo no

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doubt and this house is just to crowded for us to
talk or have a one on one conversations.
" you need to give him his cake " Zoe said
Me : I can't we still in moaning " I lied through my
teeth I'm know Jack about sex and mvelo is big I
don't think I'm ready for his thinking inside me ...
That does not mean I will refuse him if he wants
his cake either.
I had hope that since I woke up early today I will
find him in our bed I rushed to his study but he
was gone I sigh and made myself coffee I heard
chatter on the other room
" ooh God I'm so late ...the king will skin me alive
... His coffee is not done "
Another voice : you better thank your God
because the king left early today "
" are you sure ...? I'm even scared to walk in " I
heard shuffling and two of servants walk in shock
was written all over their face when they saw me
they bowed " Ndlovukazi "
I nodded " can you not cook breakfast today I will
do it "
" Ndlovukazi " they bowed and walked out the
tension in this house even got our servant walking
on eggshells because of Mvelo I hear them talk

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about his temper and that makes me so mad but I
have never whiteness it myself .
We all gathered on the dining room koko the kids
and Veli a lot was said but no one opens there
mouth.
Sne : Aunti are we still going to see baba today ?"
I wish I could say yes but Sbu is a different person
and I don't want his kids to see him like that he
hates Naledi and blames her for taking his wife we
have exchange hateful words me and him and I
decided not to attend Pam's funeral it happened
that the very same day of the funeral Naledi was
being discharged
Sbu wanted his wife close to him and the funeral
was held in Durban. Somehow I had hoped Mvelo
will asked me to go but he just walked away the
tears I have cried for this man can flood rivers
now my spirit were lifted up I finally held Naledi in
my arms and came back with her home they call
her Simangaliso because after 2 day in an
incubator she was all alive and out of danger.
She is my smile keeper I still have a lot to learn
about baby's but the Nanny I hired is great help
and I'm getting there .
After breakfast the kids went to there playroom

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and I took Naledi to my room I read my book
rocking my baby till she fell asleep I looked at the
beautiful view outside thinking about my life and
married how did it get to this ?
You know I wish had a chance to prepare for it but
just one horrible day changed my husband to a
man I don't recognise the love of my life lost a
parent sibling and friend. As i go trough journey in
time that looked like it was not moving I wish I
could hold his hand and tell him I'm here for him .
I have taken all in and tackled the silent abuse it
even feels like i'm going through a course of
surviving being a wife a queen a mother to his
kids and his shoulder to cry on this are true trying
times for me .
" if its not working out buya uze'ekhaya " Nsika
will say
" if he ever makes you cry I swear to God he will
meet his sister sooner than he thinks " Mlondi will
say
Decision ...decision ... Do I stay do I go ? Does he
still love me ? He does not even touch you what
do you think ?
My marriage life is dead with no life I feel like I'm
losing my mind but at least I have found my own

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personal coping mechanisms the kids give me a
reason to smile everyday and remind me why I'm
in this house.
Its afternoon and without fail I must take my
afternoon walk.
after jumping out of the shower I jumped into my
long black body hugging dress and black and
white head scarf first thing first I make my way yo
Naledi nursery she was still sleeping
I kissed her forehead and walk out.
I made my way down stairs I heard Zee and Junior
( Pam son) talking there the are the same age
group and there stories always get me laughing
like crazy they were seated on the couch watching
cartoons the house was quite I wander where
everyone was.
They noticed my presence
" Aunty " I kissed them on the cheeks and hugged
them
" have you eaten "they shook their heads I smiled
Me : what do you want to eat ?"
" kellogs and eggs " Jr said I giggled
Me : and you zee " she giggled
" I don't know ...maybe cake " I laughed
Me : ooh my... why cake Princess "

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Zee : because it sweet ..." I laughed
Me : come let's go make you food "
I would not say I have the best of relationship
with Zee or Pam's kids it's only been a two week
with them but they are good kids no doubt Pam
was a good mother
"Ooh I'm sorry I didn't know you up "
I looked up and she smiled
" kids come eat I made you lunch "
What the fuck !!
Zee : thank you mommy " zee let go of my hand
ran to her and she hugged her I was frozen what
is she doing here in my house and in my kitchen
the devil is testing me
"Silindile !"
"_Ndlovukazi " she said bowing her head I looked
at her from head to toe she was wearing high
waisted grey skinny jean with pink shirt tucked in
and killer hills she tossed her weave back
Me : go and eat I'm coming I said to the kids " I
smiled and when they were out of site my eyes
locked with hers and my smile disappeared
" you were in my kitchen ?"
" with all due respect you were still sleeping "
I laughed

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" what does that suppose to mean? " I asked
Her : I found my child all alone and you were
sleeping so as a mother I took it upon Me to make
her food "
" you do know that this kids have a Nanny right ?"
" it's only lunch Sibahle what's the big deal ? "
Me : its my kitchen Makazithelo as a wife of this
house yimi angi shaya u5 lapha siyezwana "
Her : I just thought ..." I cut her off
Me: ufunani LA ? "
I was mad ever since I knew about sli she has
done this small things that rub me the wrong way
and it did not help that she is Mvelo business
partner and Veli's bff
Her : wow Trey is the father of my child so I came
to check up on Zee "
Me : so you come and go in my house ?"
She side smile ooh help me god I'm about to catch
a case
Me : you not answering me ... Ngingakusiza ngani
Kwami ! "
She set on the couch opposite me and folded her
legs did I say she mast sit down ?
Her : I'm sorry Ndlovukazi to step in your shoes
I'm actually here on business I was hoping to

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speak to Trey as well" ooh my God what !! This
woman is driving me crazy not only must I
tolerate Mvelo silent treatment and now his baby
mama is walking all up in the very same house I
leave in
Me : what stopping you from calling him ? Nawe
uyazibonela akekho "
Her : we spoke at Pam's funeral about Zee ..." She
was talking alone now I was still at that point
when she said ' we spoke at Pam's funeral ' I was
annoyed and I don't know what game this woman
was playing or what my husband is still doing with
her ...
Veli walked in she frowned noticing Sli
Veli : ooh I thought you said will meet at the
restaurant "
Sli : I was in the neighborhood so here I am " they
hugged and talked like I was not even there .
Me : wow " I laughed and shook my head Pam did
tell me that no matter what I do I must never get
to close with Veli now I see why here loyalties are
with Sli
Me : I'm sorry ladies I got Royal duties to do so
can you take this chit chat outside my house .... "
Koko walked in she did not have to say a word but

472 | P a g e
her eyes said a lot after we all greeting her they
said goodbye to koko and walked out giggling and
talking
I felt sick
" Sibahle " she stopped me as I was about to walk
out
Me : koko"
Her : hold your head up high...dark clouds are
closing in "
Again she talked in riddle I just nodded and
walked to my room I felt the walls closing in this
room this is not happening to me No ! did I really
Marry into this chaos? Why because of love ...
Fuck sli will be involved in our life for at least
another 11 years will she be this pain will i control
my cool around her ? Why do I feel like she still
got this hold over Mvelo ...I felt like I was
suffocating Mvelo can't do this to me ... I took my
laptop I keep thinking of accepting to enroll in I
UCT maybe it's best me and mveli separate a bit .
This is his problem not mine let him figure it out
he is old enough to make babies so he should be
old enough to figure out how to handle his ex's.
I'm too found for this drama.
I took pain tablets and I was off to lala land

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I must have doze off because I was woken by eyes
looking at me I try to shake the feeling but shoot
my eyes open he was sitting in the dark and
looking at me I looked at the time it was after
midnight I have seen him happy sad disappointed
but this eyes I have never seen ?
Him : you enrolled in UCT?"
I set up straight I wanted to find words to say but
his look scared me I found myself looking down
He stood up taking of his shirt
" Awuyi lapho ...Siyezwana ( you not going there
do you hear me ) " I didn't say anything I just
looked at him his back was facing me
Him : siyezwana !!" I nodded but realised that he
did not see me
" yebo " he walked out and I pulled my knees to
my chest placed my hand on my mouth and cried

474 | P a g e
Chapter 47

Sbahle ***
I was tired of crying and questioning myself where
I went wrong I wiped my tears and set up straight
I heard the shower running and I made my way
downstairs I checked on the microwave and yes
his plate is still there I warmed it up sniffing and
hugging myself its time I put myself together
Mvelo has to much control over me and I don’t
like the women his turning me into .
" hi " I looked up I was meet with uncle Mzamo
gaze he was still on his formal work clothes I'm
guessing he just got back from the UK he frowned
I guess he saw my red nose and baggy eyes you
know that look of sleeping with a broken heart
that how my face looks right now
Him : you can't sleep "
I looked down
Me : yes something like that " I sniffed
Him : mmmm"
I sniffed again
Him : Sbahle are you ok ? "
Me : yes I just have blocked nose "
Save by the bell the microwave beeps and I

475 | P a g e
quickly attended to it
Me : can I dish up for you ?"
Him : no thank ... "
I took Mvelo plate placed it on a tray all along I
was moving around and his Uncle was just looking
at me this man aura is so not settling I was about
to go and say goodnight to him but he decided to
talk
Him : Sbahle ... You may be a Mnguni now
because of that ring on your finger but remember
that your blood is Bhengu never allow a man to
take your identity of who you are ..."
I looked at him and he looked at me I nodded
Me : thank you Malume goodnight "
Him : mmmm tell your husband that he must
meet me in his study in 10 minutes "
I nodded again and made my way to our room I
placed his food on the side table he came out with
only a white towel wrapped in his waist he was
drying his hair with another towel I looked at him
longer than normal I still can't get used to how
hot and ripped up his body is I only moved my
eyes when his towel rose up oh shit is that an
erection I swiftly moved to the closet
Me : uncle Mzamo wish to speak with you in your

476 | P a g e
study "
I made my way to the closet and took out his
pajama pants his white T-shirt was far and I could
not reach the top shelf I tip toed
Me : damit ... "
I felt him behind me Instead of him taking his T-
shirt from the top shelf he lifted me up I got it and
he placed me down
Me : thank you "
I was looked down facing him will kill me even
more I could tell his eyeing me but not today we
not doing it today I went to the bathroom picked
up his clothes that were scattered on the floor
and shoved them in the laundry basket when I
turned he was standing by the door looking at me
his still walking around half naked and I don’t
trust my body around him at all fuck the silent in
this room was getting into me he was blocking the
way and I wanted to past I wasn't going to allow
him to see me breaking down or filling vulnerable
under his mystic look I pushed past him
Him : Mabhengu "
He called out but I was not doing this with him I
slammed the bathroom door on his face and
locked it I took off my dress and thought about

477 | P a g e
long bubble bath but I was to drained shower it
was then .
I was crying my last tears under this pouring water
two weeks I have not seen him talk to him and
when he opens his mouth today he tells me shit
God knows I love Mvelo but loving him it's so
exhausting I'm tired after taking a shower I made
my way to the closet I jumped into my bum short
PJ and matching vest good he's not here and he
took his food I breath out loud and jumped under
covers I remembered Pam's words "when it gets
too much Pray baby I know my brother his
difficult person to be with he loves you but don't
cry never show him you weak because he will
walk all over you ... Always pray asked God to give
you strength ". I got down on my knees and
Prayed
.
.
Mvelo***
“ I need you back at work “
I looked at him as if his crazy
Him : “ tomorrow we doing a cleansing ceremony
and you are going back to the UK “
Me : “ what do you mean I’m going to the UK …

478 | P a g e
AS IN ALONE! “
Him : “ you self centered and you putting yourself
first so go and figure out if you still want to be
married to that girl or rather be alone “
Me : “ so is this about MY wife ? “
Him : “ last time I checked she was the only one
holding this house together if you cared you
would have noticed “
I looked down I just got married but I feel like I
just attended my funeral I’m scared to love Sbahle
the way she deserve God Knows I love my wife
and I hate that I’m the cause of her tears
Me : “it's just hard to let go off of pam I feel like I
have lost my best friend I feel like I have no point
to leave “
Him : “ we all feel like that but ask yourself if Pam
was here would she have wanted you to be like
this ? “
I just looked down
Him : I want Sbahle to take over Pam’s project ? “
Me : “ she wanted to builds that Business with
Sbu “
Him : “ it will take years for Sbu to be back on his
feet losing a soulmate is not easy … so you have
to talk to her about going back to school you can

479 | P a g e
not make her your house wife she’s too young for
this responsibility you have placed on her
shoulders “
I just nodded
After we talked about how bad of a husband I was
he gave me mouth full about work and reshuffling
that need to happen it was official I’m going back
to work this man was not taking no for an answer
I finally went to bed after 3:00am and he told me
he is going for a Jog my uncle never sleep I walked
in my bedroom and I looked at my beautiful wife
God Knows will never cheat on her but I just can
not be happy when I feel so empty I don’t want to
fight with her or shout at her so I just avoid her I
have been looking at her every move from afar
the walks she takes every day I bugged her Pc and
phone I have cried with her when she cried but I
was just not there to hold her hand or talk to her
she the only normal thing in my life the way she
has taken a role of being mother to my kids I
could have not asked for any better women than
her she is humble and dedicated to her royal
duties the people love her and I like that she is
hands on whatever my grandmother throws at
her . I got under the cover and pulled her close to

480 | P a g e
me I love how she smells it's so fruity I kissed her
neck I could feel her trying to push me but I held
her tighter she is my harmony
.
.
Sbahle ***
I felt his hands pulling me to him he smelled of
alcohol and toothpaste I wanted to untangle
myself because he was suffocating me
We never speak to each other no kiss but every
night he will creep in my life and hold me for his
dear life he was holding me even tighter tonight
there was a lot I wanted to tell him right now but I
just could not felt him breathing heavily and I
knew he was fast asleep I held his hand and
breath out loud
Me : " Laying in bed in our bed without you still
proves to be an excruciating thing even with you
in it There isn’t one night that I don’t cry myself to
sleep from pure loneliness. There isn’t one
morning that I haven’t rolled over expecting to
feel your warm body next to mine. I spent the first
two weeks of our marriage lost without you after
losing you to grief I would sometimes sleep on the
couch because the thought of being in a bed was

481 | P a g e
too unimaginable. I wouldn’t even briefly lay
down on it wouldn’t sit on it to tie my shoes. Even
now that I have forced myself to try to get some
sleep in an actual bed in your arms I can’t bring
myself to go lay down until I am thoroughly
exhausted and I know that sleep is imminent. It’s
a strange concept of almost being afraid of your
own bed because I fear that one day you may not
come back or hold me like you do because that
the only time I get feel that I have husband that
comes in the night and hold me tight and leave
But aside from the torture of the actual bed its
you being physically here but not here at all I miss
you Mvelo “
I don’t Know when sleep came but I was woken
up sun heating my face I scoffed and rolled over
but bumped into Mvelo I shoot my eyes open I
was meet by his dreamy eyes looking at me wait
am I dreaming ?

482 | P a g e
Chapter 48

Sbahle ***
He looked at me and yes its him his alive he is
really here with me in my bed he smiled at me
and I don't know what got over me but I slapped
him
Him : what the fuck "
I jumped on him and I hit him I was mad
" Sbahle ... Babe ... Stop it ..." I was on top of him
and I was just punching him
" him ... I'm sorry... Baby I'm sorry "
I was crying I was mad
Me : I hate you !! "
Him : I know ... I know ...fuck baby my eye "
He held both of my arms and flipped me over he
pinned my hands above my had he was holding
them with his one Hand and the other was on his
eye the fight in me did not care I was trying to
untangle myself from his hold
Me : fucken let go of me ... Fuck you Mvelo yezwa
.." I was twisting my legs till I felt his body weight
on top of me
Him : I'm sorry ... I'm sorry " I felt his wet lips on
my neck

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Me : get off me !!!..."
Him : mmm " he just kept on leaving wet kisses on
my neck
Me : I hate you .. Uyezw!!"
Him : I love you too ... " his voice on my ear made
my body betray me
Him : ngiyaxolisa Hle..hle .. " he looked at me I did
a number on him his eye was red he had a cut on
his cheek and his face was red
Him : Mabhengu "
I shook my head I hate that I love him like this
Him : babe . . . it me "
I still did not look at him
Him : hle-hle please "
Shit this tears are building up fuck
Him : shuu baby don't cry ...I'm here " he started
kissing my tears away the feeling of his mouth on
my wet face made me realise how much I miss
him I felt his lips on mine I missed him ...I love him
and he feels like home his boner was Pocking me I
didn't care I was holding on to his face he was
exploring my body with his hands he cupped my
breast and he moaned
Him : I love you ..."
Me : mmm" his top was off and i just could not

484 | P a g e
control my moans and the way his kiss and touch
was taking me places
"Daddy !...."
Me : ooh shoot "
He Pulled down my top that was almost out of my
head
Him : Princess !"
He got off me and Zee jumped on him and landed
on his bulge
" ooh...fuc...."
Me :fat cook !!!! " I said fast before he cursed
He closed his eyes in pain and I laughed
Him : I swear to God the women in my life are
going to kill me today "
I bust out and laughed Zee was on top of his
father chest
Him : how are you doing princess "
She giggled This child here has the most amazing
spirit ever .. I Decided to take my phone and take
a pic this was a beautiful pic he pulled me to him
And took my phone and we took selfies off the
three of us
" where you going "
Me : I need to bath and check on Naledi "
Him : we can do that together "

485 | P a g e
I pointed at Zee with my eyes
He gave Zee my phone
Him : baby play game here ...My Queen needs a
bath "
Zee : I nerd a bath too " I laughed his hands were
moving up and down my back and will land on my
ass
Him : I'll bath her and bath you princess "
Zee shook his head
Him : baby you killing daddy's mood " he
squeezed my ass and looked at me Zee giggled
and was just happy that his spending time with
her dad I jumped off the bed I walked to the
bathroom my bum showed him left him with no
imagination at all everything was out there for
show and I owned my walk
when I turned he to look at him he was biting his
lower lip I wink at him and ran into the bathroom
.
.
I was done dressing up and made my way to
Naledi room I found Mvelo rocking her to sleep I
stood by door and smiled he gently placed her
down and when he turned I round he saw me
Him : she is so big "

486 | P a g e
I smiled
I made my way to the baby court and looked at
Naledi she was sucking on her hands
Mvelo held me from behind " thank you " I rested
my head on his chest
Him : damn I missed you "
I turned around and looked at him
Me : I was right here "
He smiled as he slowly took my mouth to his
.
.
Veli ***
He is on top of me again his been on it even
longer than normal I want to touch him but he
refusing his hitting places I have never thought
existed I'm screaming his holding my mouth his
good and he knows this his moans feel me up I
feel another explosion Coming ooh Bawo I splash
my juices on him he hit it even hard on making my
eyes roll back his not giving me time to recover his
not giving me time to recover his close and he
give me a last kick and realise he let go of my
mouth and my hands he gets off me and took off
his condom
Him : go to your room and call someone to clean

487 | P a g e
this " he disappear to the bathroom as I take my
soaking pussy out it all started when I told him I
love him and he said ok I though if I give him a
baby he will change but
he told me he don't want a baby but I fell
pregnant I miscarriage and that was the last time
he smiled at me or did something nice to me
he changed and only fuckes me without giving a
shit about me I looked at how Mvelo and Sbahle
look at each other and I hate love why must all
man use me like this I wish Mzamo can love me
his my only ticket to a better life
He walks in and look at Mvelo the queen mother
looks happy today and this are more noisy today
than normal this is perfect family breakfast I wish
I had a ring on to call my self family too
Mzamo : what happened to you ?" He asked
Mvelo
Mvelo looked at Sbahle and they had a mini joke
session I was here but was not here my phone
buzzed
"Im on my way is he gone ? "
" no . . . I think they resolved things "
" what ?... Did you talk to Mzamo "
I wanted to shake my head but realised that I'm

488 | P a g e
on a phone with her
"Sly I'm still trying "
" ooh come on Veli ... If she falls pregnant its over
for us remember that Pam wanted you out of that
royal house and that girl ... Is not going to want
you there you not there family but just a girl who
was a victim that they saved..."
I looked at Sbahle she does not like me I have
seen that and she is royalty what ever word she
say they will obey I need Sli to be a second wife
she will have my back even if it means that I need
to give Mzamo pussy everyday till he falls in love
with me and do what ask him to do .
.
.
To be continued *

Chapter 49

Mvelo ***
The kids went out with their nanny to the park
Koko left for Durban to speak to Sbu about the
cleansing ceremony that will take place in 3 days'

489 | P a g e
time from now I'm still hurt and to be honest I
don't know when I will ever feel ok and accept
that Pam is gone sometimes I even find myself
calling her number and just ball up into a crying
mess when I recall that she no more I will listen to
her voice on the voice mail and just cry even more
I swear to God and to all my ancestors that her
death just took a chunk of my life.
So part of moving on is for me to be grateful of
the life I have and to be better Husband to Sbahle
I decided to take Sbahle out its been awhile since I
spend time with her and I hate that she is
doubtful of my feeling for her i know I’m the one
to blame for that I was just an ass but I wouldn’t
be a good man to her if I do not humble myself to
her and apologize I’m also planning on talking to
her about what going on with me they say women
love to feel needed and to see a man cry and
pouring their heart out no doubt I am about to
become vulnerable to her i owe her that much
vele I have put her through shit and took her for
granted just because I was a coward and afraid to
talk to her
" Come on Sbahle we don't have the whole day "
Her : I'm almost done "

490 | P a g e
she told me she wanted to change and she has
been in that closet for hours now .
I was busy chatting to Langa ( Zoe husband ) while
i waited for my wife he was laughing at me when I
told him I got a beating of my life this morning
Him : I told you same birds flock together "
Yep Sbahle is like Zoe in every way no wander
they became good friends
Him : so when you coming this side "
Me : I have to ask my wife first but maybe after
the cleansing ceremony because soon after I have
to go back work "
Him : where ? ...UK ? "
Me : yaa and I don't know how Sbahle will take it "
Him : you leaving her behind "
Me : oh fuck No ..."
Him : that girl Got you by the balls "
Me : yap shit got real very quick for me "
Him : that's called growing up ...
. Look let me rush to a meeting will chat later say
hi to Sbahle for me "
We said our Goodbye and I logged out of
what'sup and received a notification massage it
was a picture that I took this morning of me
Sbahle and Zee " Stop playing happy family using

491 | P a g e
my baby with that women " I just looked at the
massage and blocked her number once again it
must be a 6 number that I'm blocking and she still
send me fucked up massages Sli just does not get
that I moved on and I'm madly in love with Sbahle
no matter how much I tell her and reason with
her and the fucked up part is that she using my
baby to get to me.
" ok let's go "
I looked up " wow "
Her : too much ? " she looked at her self
Me : you look perfect ..." She looked hot in her
nude above the should dress that was above the
knee with a slit in front her juicy thigh will show
when she walked its body hugging and it just
made me sweat I kissed her
Me : maybe we should stay indoors " I said
running my hands on her tight ass
" wee uyahlanya asambe "
.
.
Sli ***
Some may look at me crazy lusting over a man
that is married that does not even think about me
but trust me what I have with Trey is real he may

492 | P a g e
be in denial right now but we share true bond and
love.
I have never done this i was always a person who
gave up so easily and rolled over but never again
I'm in a mission to get back together with my
daughter's father. We didn't have the best
relationship not that it was a relationship there
were lot of red flags but now I believe we have a
chance I waited for this man most probably made
him the man he is today gave him a child I would
be damned to just give up ...
Our relationship started out great but very quickly
his demons began to show their faces when I
came back I understand he was angry that I kept
zee existence from him for years that he even
started to be emotional and sexually abusive
towards me . The relationship became stale and
we both stop putting forth effort into making it
work.
He was getting married and I was just tired of
crying over him he ended up falling in love with
another women that when I realise that I cannot
live without him one morning I woke up with a
mission to get my baby daddy back before either
of us spoke up about needing to make some

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changes to make things work.
Without him I have become successful and
confident but I still miss him every day I miss
seeing my daughter every day. I miss everything.
We still have a connection even when he told me
his getting married after our breakup he was still
seeing me behind his fiancé back for sex and just
friendship in general....which should probably tell
me he hasn't changed at all and is always going to
have a cheating problem but my heart just
doesn't care I just want my family to work I want
him and only him so I'm here at the restaurant
looking like a million bucks trying to show him
what his missing out on ...
.
.
Sbahle ***
Today was so beautiful the outing was just what
the good Dr ordered my man over here was just
amazing to me I must say I missed him so much
this day here we just connect he had opened up
to me about his grieving and how much he miss
his sister we found each other crying together and
holding on to one another
Him : damn you women you just made me a

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pussy”
Me: you my pussy so what “
Him : fuck that sound so wrong “
We bust out and laughed walking hand in hand
from the park
Him : so movie or jazz bar “
I looked at him like he just president Mgabe is not
dead
Him : what ? “
Me : a movie is boring it will not give us time to
interact to I'm thinking art gallery or museum :
He was the one that was giving me the look now
and I just drag him to the nearest gallery there
was a launch of some new artist that was up an
coming.
Him : this is your more of your element “
I nodded “my father was an artist he used to have
visions and put into paintings “
Him : calling ? “
Me : I believe every great king need to rule with
the guidance of his ancestors bathi indlela ibuzwa
kwabaphambili “
He nodded and agreed with me we walked hand
in hand some people will stop and great us some
people will request to shake our hands or take pic

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he bought me two paintings that I just looked at
and fell in love with the artist was horned to have
us in his studio he requested to do a sculpture of
me and I was blown away
Me : wow are you for real “
Him : yes your highness “
Mvelo : as long as the queen will be fully dress
maybe I can allow that “
I nudge him
Mvelo : we have to get going Mkami “ he pulled
me by the hand and I did not like the look he gave
hat poor guy the minute we entered the car he
was a bit pissed
Me : did I do something wrong ? “
He held my hand and kissed it “ I trust you but I
don’t trust them “ ok what does that supposed to
mean ?
I was now hungry and he decided that we driving
to his hotel he had booked a table for us he was
too touchy and kissy on the way there I hate
driving with a person who does not focus on the
Road Mvelo was worse kind he will sing song from
the radio look at me and kiss my hand I was red
with blushing by now love feels so good when the
universe is on our side he said and I just smiled

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His one hand was holding on to my hand
Him : but babe Zithelo really crushed my balls you
laugh now but this means that I might not make
you pregnant "
I didn't know how to respond to that thought of
sex and him inside me made me freeze he looked
at me and side smile
Him : I didn't marry you for your pretty face ...
And that brain of yours I need you to carry my
seed Mabhengu "
I open my mouth and closed it we have never
talked about sex ever
" it will be painful at first but relax girl ...you will
love it when he is doing it "
Zoe said he turned the music up and His hands
moved to my thighs no he was now moving in to
my inner thigh remind me why I'm wearing such a
dress with easy excess his hands were rubbing
on my bare thighs moving up and down while his
other hand was on the steering wheel he is the
first man to touch me in that way. Although he
went a bit further up on my thigh I was surprised
to be honest with you but i enjoyed it his hand
just awaken something in me i this rush inside of
me I closed my thighs together

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Him : you blowing my mind with this dress "_
My first thought was simply “Oh! That’s different.
Ummm… okay”.
. If he'd be a person I’d only talked to a few times
and didn't have an intimate relationship with I
probably would've lost my head not allowed him
to speak dirty on me and make me sweat and also
b shot of breath
Me : I need to use the ladies “ that was the first
thing I said to him when we arrived he walked me
to his office that looked like a room itself I did my
business and when I came out he pinned me on
the wall and was kissing me and touching me all
over he was in between me my lags and I was on
top of his desk ooh shit he just socked my panty
liner again
Me: aaaaaaaaaaaaaahh”
He could feel that he was biting my neck damn
that will leave hicky I read somewhere that you
can tell by the kind of sex you going to have just
buy the way your man kisses you my heart was
beating on my throat right now trust me his my
first in everything... kiss love and relationship but I
can tell that Mvelo dominates in the bedroom his
hands are to strong the animal in him just came

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out to play funny thing is I like it so much I wish he
could not stop there is nothing that I love more
than anything in this cruel cold world? like his lips
on mine I'm obsessed with kissing him. If I'm not
kissing I'm thinking about kissing. I can't look at
pillow lips without imagining what it would be like
to kiss them. I live in between kisses with him but
I can tell by Mnguni that is knocking on my flour
that I'm yet to experience something different.
Him: I love you …. “ was out of breath while I was
coming-down of my high I just saw an animal in
him
Him : lets go eat before I eat you up “
Oh god I'm so horny right now is this even normal

Chapter 50

Sbahle ***
Dinner was good and Mvelo was talking but my
head was miles away I was listening to my lady
part twitch and at some point I just wanted to put
my hand down there I look at his dreamy eyes as

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if his got contact lances his pink mouth his skin so
clean his beard so perfectly shaved his white set
of teeth I was fucked up horny I can not still
believe even today that this God of a man is mine
sex was a difficult topic that my mother failed to
talk to me about on my wedding day she just said
" indoda kumele idle Sibahle ... Never say you not
in the mood ... He is the man and will teach you
on how to be a women in the bedroom ... Trust
him and as a wife feed his appetite " there was a
lot I wanted to ask by that that how do I know he
will love his food ? those he want it hot or warm ?
Him : sithandwa sami "
He held my hand
Him : you miles away what's up ?"
I looked at him damn this man is Hot
Me : Sex how do you like it"
He chocked on his drink and started coughing
yini? Did I say something wrong ?
Him : what ? "
I shrunk my shoulders I want to know his been
lusting over me I can see it in his eyes but always
stop himself from taking it far and with Pam's
death that also caused a void between us there
was no wedding night sex or staining of a sheet

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ceremony held boy was I glad that did not
happened its so humiliating and degrading for a
women while man boost up there egos waving a
stained sheet for every one to see that he just
deflowered his wife.
I wish we have already done the deed and I know
how it feels the suspense is killing me and it does
not help that right now a have Victoria waterfalls
between my legs feeling awfully horny - so horny
it is making me do stupid things I even think about
touching myself
I am very conflicted about taking the first step in
losing my virginity. As much as I would like for him
to have sex with me to relieve me of all the
hormones raging wildly inside I also want to
experience making love for the first time.
My mind is making me feel extremely guilty that I
should not be thinking of doing any of these
things but Mvelo awaken thing inside of me my
mind travel back to this morning when he cupped
my breath oooh father God that felt so good also
when his hands moved to my inner thigh this
afternoon and
on his office when lifted me up grabbed my ass
and roughly kissed me shit ...I felt my self getting

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more wet ... This is not me I never felt like this
ever what is he doing to me .
I blame him for making think and act like a bietch
Perhaps this is because I am brought up in a
rather conservative environment where sex is a
taboo subject. Any small controversy about
anything related to sex blows up and becomes a
nationwide topic. In my social circles sex is either
never spoken about or often made fun off usually
so when I hang out with my best friend Zim My
family never discuss sex with me and when they
do they always warn always to be careful when
going out or around guys and often imply that i
should not have "sexual intercourse" before you
are married. I know my country and its people are
still not very liberal and are rather narrow-
minded. I wish this could change but this is how
we have been brought up. I think my
circumstances and experiences has become part
of my personality that I can't help but feel awfully
guilty I would give away my virginity like that to a
man I love . I have read about it online giving up
your virginity to whom you choose is your choice
and never others. I completely agree but I just feel
so guilty and so conflicted with what my body and

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mind wants that I don't know what to do.
He narrowing his eyes and side smiling ooh shoot I
just asked him out loud about sex his amused he
like seeing me this way on his Mercy I want to run
away now this look his giving me is making me
regret thinking out loud
Him : tell me what you feeling right now ? what
happening to your body right now ?"
His voice so bold So sexy he rested back on his sit
undressing me with his eyes I'm uncomfortable
right now
Him : Hle -Hle talk to me "
Ok FAM I'm screwed right now he took his glass of
wine and looked at me
Me : I'm ...I ... Mvelo ..stop it " I looked away he
chuckled
Him: You don't need to tell me that I make you
body heat up because I can see it in you face and
you body language your body changes when
you're turned on and it all foreign to you that you
feel like screaming because you don't know what
to do with yourself . Your breathing speeds up you
get wet your nipples are even hard your brain
turns to total mush you desire me to help you
take off the edge ...you scared but yet you so

503 | P a g e
ready Blood rushes to the walls of your vagina so
much so that it causes fluid to pass through. The
rush of blood is also what makes you all flushed in
the cheeks and on your chest and neck areas.
Causing you lady parts to release juices "
I was not breathing normal and he could see this
he came close to my face making his way to my
ear
Him : I just gave you mind blowing sex in your
head and I love how your body
Just responded to me Sithandwa sami you are
sexual aroused just by looking at me ... And guess
what I feel the same .. " he kissed my neck shit I
need to pee his eyes were red and squinted he
kissed my lips so soft and stupid of me I moaned I
felt him smile "
Him : let me check on the kids ... We spending the
night here "
He stood up ran his hands on my face and walk
away his eyes were red and squinted he kissed my
lips so soft and stupid of me I moaned I felt him
smile "
Him : let me check on the kids ... We spending the
night here "
He stood up ran his hands on my face and walk

504 | P a g e
away I breath out loud once he was gone what is
he doing to me I gulped down the content of my
juice and was about to fan myself
I looked up as I sense someone presence standing
over me I was meet by her smile I frowned what
the fuck does she want ?
Me : Maka Zithelo what a pleasant surprise unjani
?"
She was about to seat down but I stop
Me : ooh sweetheart please don't my Husband is
occupying that sit say what you have to say and
Go please " I faked a smile as
She frowned she did not like this cocky side of me
Her : I saw you while having dinner thought I
come say high you know phela we family " I hated
the sound of that I bet she waited for Mvelo o
move to piss me off and guess what she doing a
good job at it
Me : Hi !" I responded dismissing her she must not
mess up my Good mood
Her : I was thinking I can have a Word with Trey
.... You know talk about Zee education and
medical needs she is special child and need both
parents to work hand in hand ... I pass by the
house and he was nor there so I just thought I will

505 | P a g e
still him for few minutes just to have a quick chat
"
Me:mmmmmm I see try calling him tomorrow
because right now this is my time "
Her : I will do ... Infect since I'm here for a while i
might as well go out on that outing he suggested
with him and Zee you know how he is with the
outdoor "
Me : outing ?"
Her : well since we coperanting Zee Dr suggested
we do family date just me and him and our
daughter ...so that Zee will get use to the change "
Me ; angizwanga !"
Her : ooh we talked about it while he was in
Durban about us having family dates didn't he tell
you ? '"
I folded my arms this women is getting on my last
nerve she is such a thorn in my relationship
Her : you know when I look at you I see that you
young you his Queen and all but Trey Needs a
women a mother to his child...so enjoy it what it
last he will come back to me he always does ...
Good night princess "
He clicked her hills and walked out I was fucked
up mad

506 | P a g e
" was that Sli ?"
I looked at him he had this look of guilt or nervous
I stood up " aish I'm tired babe now we may go
upstairs " he held my hand and kissed my cheek
we walked with my arm blocked under his my had
resting on his shoulder I was not going to act all
crazy in front of all this people being the lady that
I am I made my way to penthouse with him
looking like the perfect couple in perfect
marriage.
Him : babe are you ok ..." I smiled and nodded
took off my shoes the minute we walked into the
main bedroom
Him : what did she say to you ..."
I looked at him and shook my had I did not want
to talk about that women I'm angry heartbroken
but I don't want to talk to him about this but
knowing Mveli he won't let this go
Him : Sbahle I can see you mad .. Talk to me "
Me : will it always be like this ... Me you and her
?"
Him : Sbahle my heart belongs to you Silindile is
my past uyakwazi nje lokho "
I shook my head " she your baby mama your
business partner ... Veli friend its not enough you

507 | P a g e
made her comfortable in coming in and out of the
very same house I call my home she is now
leaving in your hotel and you planing on having
family dates with her ... When were you going to
tell me about that !!"
Him : I..."
I stood up "she was at Pam's funeral ... The very
same funeral you came back from a changed man
?.... Are you still sleeping with her ? "
Him : No !! ... I will never cheat on you with her "
Me : what is she doing here Mvelo!!!"
Him : I don't know ... She Zee mother babe she
maybe came to help Zee with grieving ... She just
lost an aunt she needs her mom as well
Me : Wow !"
Him : baby please why you letting that women
destroy our night .... Can't you see that she is
intensionally causing a drift between us and you
allowing her "
Me : she walking all over me Mvelo ! And I'm
suppose to just roll over and Smile because she is
your baby mama!!"
He looked down I clicked my tongue and made my
way to the bathroom banging the door Jumping
right into it a shower I'm too angry to cry and hate

508 | P a g e
that Sli feels like he has power over Mvelo from
what Pam told me they have unresolved past I
came along just when he found out he has a child
with this women and there breakup was messy
and somehow I'm the one to blame.
Before he met me he was with was dating some
white girl he never loved her because he was still
in love with sli but they dated with that girl for
years He broke it off with her because she wasn’t
fulfilling his needs or wants in a relationship He
told me the only reason why he stayed with her
for so long was because she was a distraction sli
came back while he was arranged to marry me ...
He never gave me any doubt about not loving me
that why I agreed to be his wife but I guess when
you not leaving with a man you really do not
know what going on with his daily life till you
share the same roof with him he is NOT the
problem his baby mother is. He has one child by
her and I fear that he may run to her for sex if I
don't give him my fruit.
its been only two weeks in this marriage and I
must admit I'm drained Recently me and him has
been getting into it because of the things she
would do when she comes over to check up on

509 | P a g e
Zee unannounced. I know that it’s NOT my house
to be the boss but I feel as though if you are in a
relationship with someone but have a kids by
somebody else your ex shouldn’t be able to do
whatever she pleases when she comes over
especially if you have a woman living there. He
says the reason for him not speaking up to her is
that he’s trying to keep the peace between them
so she can see her child ... But that women's
intention is not about seeing Zee she want to
have the seat ...my throne. Its midnight and I'm
yet alone in his bedroom I thought we getting
somewhere but its back to square one again I sigh
and switched off the side lamp.
.
.
to be continued

510 | P a g e
Chapter 51

5 day later
Sbahle ***
Its the day of cleansing ceremony today well in
most African families this is done a month after a
burial of a love one and the spouse will only do it
after 6 months to a year I just finished making the
traditional beer yes guys my mom thought me
well I am what you call "the wife material " and
was busy with cooking baking
I hate people going in and out of my kitchen so
that place is mine and mine alone I cook for my
family and I do my husband laundry and cater to
his needs no one else but me today I was wearing
a long floral dress with head scarf and another
scarf on my shoulders just your topical makoti
look.
" mam where do I put this " its was a case of
drinks I pointed to the cold room
She bowed and walked away the Mnguni people
are the liker of things where i come from
ceremony like this suppose to involve close family
members only but here it just another big event.
I heard a baby crying and stopped what I was

511 | P a g e
doing and ran outside Zee was down and crying
Me : baby I told you to stop running " I picked her
up and walked with her inside the house we made
our way to the bathroom in my bedroom where I
wiped her tears and attended to scratches
Me : all done baby ... You promise to stop running
"
She giggled and nodded
Me : come give me a squeeze " we hugged
Her : thank you Hle -hle "
I smiled I blame her father for calling me that now
all the kids in this house are calling me by that
name .
I felt his presence behind me he smelled so good I
haven't seen or spoke to him for Two day he was
in the mountain with Koko and Makhumalo doing
sum ancestral prayer Zee hugged her dad and
they had a mini conversation with him I was about
to walk past him but he pulled me into a hug and
kiss my forehead no matter how mad I am with
him I still allow him to hold me and kiss me.
Him: Zithelo go check if Jr is not finishing your
chips "
Zee climbed down from his hold and ran out
Me : no running !!"

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Her : yes Hle-hle sorry " she said running I shook
my head and was about to walk out but he
blocked the way and closed the door this space is
so small with him in here
Him : Mabhengu ... " I looked at him we have
been fighting like crazy ever since that day of Sli's
incounter I don't know what he said to her but
ever since that day I have not seen or heard from
her .
I use to crack my head trying to figure out what
happened that night but he did come back home
on the wee hours and cuddled me smelling of
alcohol the next morning he apologized for not
looking at things my way or considering my
feelings yet again I took him back I blocked any
bad thought about him and sli together I'm naïve
right.
So when we arrived at the royal house I almost
lost my mind when he dropped another
boomshell that he want us to go to the UK
" why must I help you build your career when you
don't want me to study "
Him : I don't mind you studying but not in cape
town "
Me : I'm not going to the UK "

513 | P a g e
Him : you will go to the best law school there
babe comeon meet me half way here "
Me : I'm trying but I feel like you detecting my life
first I had no say to this marriage your baby mama
issue I need to understand I need to study law
because you say so Sbahle do this do that ...
where is my point of view in this marriage???
Him : don't raise your voice at me !!"
Me : I'm tired Mvelo ... Loving you is draining me
.... I think maybe I should stay at penthouse !"
Him : what !!"
Him : I can not put my foot down in this house
because its technically your ancestral home I want
a place where I can be free walk around in my
underwear I can not even talk to you around the
house because we got lot of eyes and ears looking
at us "
Him : where is this coming from? .... So everything
I try to do for you is not good enough !!" "
Me : I need my own house Mvelo ...my space... I
feel like I'm drowning in stress "
Him : that's why I'm saying come with me ... New
life and new environment "
I shook my head
Me : i want to studying art .. "

514 | P a g e
Him : I can make that happen for you you can
Even study in Italy they got the best schools there
"
I need air he just does not get it I don't want to
leave I walked out i banged the door in his face
and left him there I did not even make it to the
gate and I was already on his shoulders kicking
and screaming he Then placed me on the bed and
got on top of me as he kisses me senseless ... We
kissed before but today what he was doing to me
made me loose my mind I was left with my bra
and he was sucking and licking my every part
awakening things I did not know there were there
he was hard I could feel him in between my legs
my first thought was that we doing this today ...
Making out with him was mind blowing he was
kissing my neck and nibble on my ears Caress my
butt ooh shit were is my skirt his hands were on
my hips and thighs he looked at me for a moment
I was on my black bra and matching underwear I
have never been this naked in front of him he side
smile I was out of it ... I was a ball of mess and did
not stop when his hands work down on my lady
parts his hands just rub me and I screamed his
name can I have sex with him with cloths on ?

515 | P a g e
The rough jean material was grinding against me
my thigh or pelvis. Even after his pants were off
he kept on teasing me Leave my underwear on
and trace his fingertip up and down my labia i was
aching for skin-to-skin
" mvelo .... Please .." I felt a build of foreign
explosion and suddenly he blew air on my face I
was breathing heavily and he was chilled what
just happens
Him : I need to fuck than make love to you so you
will listen and obey me ... Never walk out on me
when I'm talking to you "I nodded
I gasped " let me horner my sister memory and
moan her for this few day and will finish this after
cleansing ceremony " he kissed me and walked to
the bathroom " damn his good "
Back to the present day I looked at him and he
looked at me
Him : I miss you ..."
I looked down and he held my waist I placed my
head on his chest and he breath out loud
Him : I love you Sbahle and I know I suck at
showing you this but I really do I want to leave
you behind but I can't you are my world "
Me : but Mvelo " here we go again

516 | P a g e
Him : I'm not leaving you behind uyezwa ... Your
married to me you leaving with me the kids will
stay behind .."
Me : but..."
Him : I'm not finished ..."
Him : will take Naledi with us ...every after three
months will visit back here to check on the kids
and the kingdom Koko is doing a good job and
may continue while we gone ... "
Me : No !"
I pushed him away and opened the bathroom
door
Him : Sbahle I'm too tired for this "
Me : before I am your wife I'm Queen my King I
don't know how you people do things this side but
where I come from my people are my life ... This
royal blood in me makes me the women i am
today and I need to pass it to our children your
heir that will rule with the same straight and
wisdom that I have ...This is how its going to go "
He set on the edge of our bed and looked at me
he is so hot when he has a bandana on his heard '
focus Sbahle ' I cleared my Throat Men find
confident women sexy so telling him what i want
with a straight face will make him listen. I didn't

517 | P a g e
have to go full-on dominatrix on him but I was
firm and direct
Him : not happening " he finally said and kick off
his shoes
Me : you going to go to the UK and build your
career and our company but in few years time i
need you back in this house permanently ... "
Him : uyazizwa ukuthi uthini ? "
Me : give me a chance to explain "
I need to make him relax his too worked out so i
lifted my dress and I set on top of him in squatting
position he held my but I wrapped my arms
around his neck
Me : Koko need me she is old to be alone in this
house and having kids around gives her joy so I
will stay with her ... "
He was about to answer but I packed his lips
Me : Veli needs to move out I can not do my my
duties with her breathing down my neck she need
to build her own self and stop doing royal duties
Pam is gone I'll take over her duties from her i
don't think its appropriate for Veli to continue
doing them ... "
He placed his head on my breast and breath out
loud

518 | P a g e
Me : Zee and her mother may meet not in my
house but visitation right will happened
somewhere else .... Pam kids need me I'm the
only thing close to being there mother you can
not take that away from them too "
Him : you asking a lot " he did not look at me
Me : ooh my house I need it to be by the sea for
summer vocations with my kids ..."
Him : and what do I get ... "
Me : you get to knock me up before you leave "
he chuckled
Him : you got lot of demands "
Me : you once said there is nothing sexy then
women who holds your balls "
Him : your hand never even went down to touch
then ..."
Me : Mvelo " his hands were under my dress now
he tossed me over and I was giggling and we were
disturbed by a nock
Him : shit ....start looking for that house "
I laughed as I got off him to open the door
Makhumalo greeted me she stood by the door
" i see isithunzela in your life Ndlovukazi some one
is planning ukuchitha umuzi wakho ...( i see dark
entity about to destroy your marriage ) please

519 | P a g e
follow me to the ancestry room "
Me : yebo ma " she nodded and walked away
.
.
to be continued ...

Chapter 52

Sli***
" damit he blocked my number again "
Nola just looked at me and shook his head she is
not that Nola I used to know she has change she
moved out of my house few months back and we
only see each other at work if I woke up to go to
work that day I don't get why I must be hands on
I'm the CEO and she runs it so why must I show up
anyway beside I got better things to do like
getting my family back together
Me : are you eve hearing me ? "
I looked at her she was busy typing on her laptop
Her : what ? "
She looked like a real Arabic / Islamic women with
that headscarf on I thought she will give up being

520 | P a g e
Islamic or what ever religion she is following since
has permanent citizenship here in SA
Her : when last did you do one of your sermon "
I huffed and threw my self on her couch
Me : I can not face people while my life is falling
apart I need to find a way to back with Mvelo I
regret even taking that morning after pill because
if I was pregnant he was going to be mine "
Her : Sli he is married "
I laughed
Her :I feel like that girl took what belong to me
that was my life Nola I worked so hard to get it
even make sacrifices but I was fucked over and
tossed as side ...and beside it an arranged
marriage there is no way that he loves her I just
need to play my cards right to get back with him "
She break out loud and packed her things
Her : Sometimes in life people may hurt us it can
be strangers friends and even family members.
Regardless of who it is Christians should never
wish death or harm upon anyone. We should
never seek to hurt others in any way It might be
hard but we must forgive others who wronged us.
Let God handle it on His own. When Jesus was on
the cross He never wished bad upon the people

521 | P a g e
crucifying Him but instead He prayed for them. In
the same way we are to pray for others who
wronged us in life.
Sometimes when we keep on dwelling on
something someone did to us that creates evil
thoughts in our head and opens a passage for
dark spirit to consume us. The best way to avoid
this is to stop dwelling on it. think about things
that are honorable and seek peace. I encourage
you to continually pray to the Lord for help in
your situation and keep your mind on Him. "
God does not listen no care about people like me I
devoted my life to him and did everything hr
asked of me but he still tossed me aside
Me : you don't understand "
She laughed and took her things
Her : why because I don't know love and have
never been with a guy ?"
I felt bad and looked Dow
Me ; I'm sorry Nola ... "
Her : I understand ... And don't mind you say that
you know why because I don't need love to shape
the way I leave my life ...I'm sorry but I got a
meeting to attend to "
Me : Nola please we hardly hag out "

522 | P a g e
Her : because I run your company while you cry
for lost love and plot to destroy his marriage just
know that Luke 6:31 said : Do to others as you
would like them to do to you. And Matthew 15:19
For out of the heart come evil thoughts–murder
adultery sexual immorality theft false testimony
slande ...you lost your footing your belief and I
feel like that was the only thing that kept our
friendship strong your faith so please I got to go "
she opened the door wider stood by the door and
waited for me yo walk out she locked after that
and walked the opposite direction why do I feel
like I lost my best friend walking to the parking I
opened my car I looked at my self on the window
and saw an old women behind me her half of her
face was bunt and she had grey hair I screamed
and turned around no one was there but I could
see something that looked like ash on the floor.
.
.
Sbahle
We did not actually go to the ancestral room with
Makhumalo but we walked around the yard she
wanted fresh air
Me : you look pretty good mama are you sure you

523 | P a g e
are a Sangoma? "
She smiled and I admire her dress this women
always looks like she going to some event you can
not tell that she is a traditional healer
Sponsored
Mvelo once told me that she had Phd a Dr by
profession
Her : I just love looking good that what happen
when you grew up with nothing once you make it
you hide under your designer cloths to hide the
hush upbringing "
Me : ooh I'm sorry I did not mean to sound ..." She
cut me off
Her ; baby don't please ... I'm just outspoke when
I'm outside the ancestral high "
I nodded and laugh
Her : why don't you want to go to the UK with you
husband ? "
Me : I don't know ma... I feel like when me and
Mvelo are together we fight a lot "
Her : that sound like any married life to me but
how is that going to help you when you not next
to him ? "
I just shrunk my shoulders
Me : you are Zulu right ? And im sure you know

524 | P a g e
culture ..And you know that being a royalty comes
first than putting your person needs first ... But
Mvelo side track everything ... His responsibility
this marriage... His job ... His family ... "
Her : so you want to be the glue to his life "
Me : ain't all wife's suppose to be like that? "
She laughed
Her : If you prefer he called you wife for the rest
of your life "
I frowned and looked at her
Him : storm at coming Sbahle you need to by his
side always he needs you never allow space
between the two of you ...Never ! ...have you
seen how my son looks his an eye candy every
women wants him and what will happen when
you next to him ...man are weak and easily give in
yo temptation "
I never saw it that way this love thing is
complicated
Her : look baby While all of us are called to be
helpers to others the Bible places a special
emphasis on this responsibility for wives. Genesis
tells us that God realized it wasn’t good for man
to be alone and that He decided to make a
“helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18). "

525 | P a g e
I looked at her I'm so amazed right now this
women knows her scripture
Her : well my daughter is a prophet and before
the beads skin and impepho I was a Christian i still
am in fact"
We set down and she smiled at me
Me : so what must I do I'm so young and half of
the things that are expected of me as his wife and
his Queen I don't know if im doing the right thing
or not "
Her : there is no manual for the perfect wife love
...but it all start with communication "
I nodded " you mention something about a
darkness about to destroy my marriage "
Her : what I'm going to tell you will need to keep it
to yourself and learn to pray because this dark
cloud hanging over your house is powerful and no
muthi or herbs can lift it up "
I shifted and looked at her
Her : do you perhaps know who you married to ?
"
I don't know what she means by that
Her : when I first meet him he was sickly looking
boy with no direction his calling was bigger than
anything I have ever seen ... He is the most

526 | P a g e
powerful seer I have ever known his divinity
makes the heaven stop and listen when he prays
... His connected to heaven and earth he has
isithunywa that allow him to control elements ...
The underworld call him the prince of light and he
has declared war with them in the past years "
I was confused this sound like a fairytale or sci-fi
movie scene he can not be talking about Mvelo
his my arrogant stubborn husband
Me : what do you mean he caused war "
Her : he is the prince of lite and where there was
darkness he shined light ... "
Me : mama I don't understand .."
Her : this dark cloud they talking about is not
directly coming to you but to your husband you
the light in his life as his the light to the world if
the darkness destroy what you and him have it
will shatter him leaving a door open for the
underworld ..."
I looked down
Her : I can not see the face of the entity that is
trying to cause a drift between you too but I feel it
in the house or when I look at you "
Me : mama kwenzakalani "
Her : I don't know ... I'm just a Sangoma my

527 | P a g e
powers can not see past spiritual entity "
Me : a what ?
Her : demons shadows ? ... Evil? ..Angel .. God ...
Satan "
I stood up
Her : you need to see a prophet you and your
husband ..."
Me : so you can't help us ... "
Her : I'm a Sangoma ... You need a person with
high anointing in faith and that has Divine spirit ...
Mbali is on her way she will know what to do ..."
I sat next to her shocked what kind of a man did I
marry ?
.
.
Mvelo ***
Sbahle has been gone for a while with mama and I
was so tired my eye leads were so heavy that I will
close my eyes I was consciously sleeping it was ad
of I'm taking a nap and I heard footsteps and
whispering in my room I opened my eyes and saw
a shadow person by the window when I rose up
from the bed it disappeared and just like a
drugged patient I doze off my head was heavy and
it felt like some one was pushing me into deep

528 | P a g e
sleep i have been having strange dreams of late
and I thought it was because of Pam's dearth the
dark forest the whispering and shadows I'm in
dark place and dark energy is following me yet
again I did not think it was out of the ordinary
because I just lost my sister but today i felt a
demonic creatures came into my dreams and gave
me nightmares. They came right up to my ears
and tried to intimidate me. I was desperately
trying to invoke the protection of Archangel i tried
to pray but it block my throat i couldn't get out a
sound from my mouth I barely managed to
whisper Gods name and calling on the warrior
angels to help ... I was woken up by Zithelo crying
I shoot my eyed and I saw Sibahle hushing her
besides me
Her : she has been like this for the past few days
she will wake up screaming in her naps "
Zithelo : something was trying to touch me daddy
"she was absolutely terrified.
Me : something is wrong " I took Zithelo from
Sbahle
my phone ranged I looked at Sbahle to pick it up
Her : hello
.

529 | P a g e
Her : yes his with me "
.
Her : I will tell him ..ok bye"
Her : Mbali is downstairs and she wish to see you
"
She took Zithelo from my arms I stood up and
when I was by the door she spoke
Her : fix this Mnguni ". I nodded and walked out
.
.to be continued ...

Chapter 53

Narrated
At Zithelo logistic/ development company
Nola looked at her email again held her mouth
this was not a coincidence any more she took her
phone and called the head of finance
" my office now " she took her water and drank it
" you called for me " he stood by the door looking
mighty tall and handsome with his white shirt
folded up on his arms
Nola : we lost another partner "

530 | P a g e
Him : I know ..."
Nola : what happening Mpilo how could you allow
this to happens ? "
Mpilo : we loosing partners Nola not money so
what do you expect I do I handle the finance side
of this company not making sure that our partners
do not sell there shares "
Nola : Mpilo you not helping "
Him : why do you expect I do ?"
Nola hated the fact that Mpilo is so cocky and
arrogant he gives a rat ass about anyone but
himself yes his top at his game and Sli insisted
they higher him she still think that Mpilo only
agreed to work for them because he was
interested in Sli and Sli was drooling over the guy .
Nola wished that this will work in there favour
because Trey young and now married Sli needed a
man in her life strong African man she needed a
destruction but little did she know that Sli had
more of an obsession with Trey she wish that if
only the tall handsome Mpilo can try and pursue
Sli they would have made the perfect couple
Mpilo : when is the Boss lady coming back to work
"
Nola : I don't know ... She not feeling well maybe

531 | P a g e
you can check up on her after work "
Mpilo raised his eyebrow and looked at Nola who
looked at him without giving anything away "
Mpilo : ok I'll think about it can I go now "
Nola nodded she set down and looked at her
laptop again there is something fishy in this whole
thing and how Mpilo did not act surprised about
the company loosing partner .
.
.
Back at Ngonyama royal house
Koko****
Koko found veli on her phone laughing and
skimming with sli she shook her head as she
walked back in the house she was disappointed in
Veli and she knew that as much as she loved her
as a daughter she must let her go ...all along Pam
was right about her but she turned a blind eye
because she felt that Veli deserved a second
chance in life ...but what she doing now is illegal
talking to outsider about what happening in the
royal house is crime.
Veli ***
" all I know is that he may be going to the UK
alone this your chance my friend to get what you

532 | P a g e
want "
Sli smiled everything is falling into plan now this
your chance my friend to get what you want "
Sli smiled everything is falling into plan now she
will finally have Trey and her family back together
.
Veli noticed that Sli was not asking her about
Mzalo so she decided to tell her
Veli : Mzamo has been grate too you know .. Not
in a love kind of a way we still working on that but
he is not giving me time or day I guess I'm getting
somewhere the sex is so good but I wish we could
spend just few hours talking and cuddling "
sli rolled her eyes Mzamo was not in love with Veli
never was never will but wanted to come on her
cunt that's all Veli is no different then a seventh in
that house and Mzamo being powerful he has
power of sleeping with all the girls working in the
royal house with no string attached
Sli : is Trey still fighting with that girl ?
Veli : I don't know friend they look pretty close
this day and they spend lot of time locked up in
there room .. So back to me and Mzamo as I was
saying "
Sli was not interested in hearing how Veli is

533 | P a g e
loosing her morals by being in love with a man
who only want sex from her she was worried
about Trey and Sbahle locking them self up she
feared the worse what if she falls pregnant ? she
got the news she wanted and she told veli she has
to go Naïve veli believed that Sli is her best friend
and she looking out for her best interest she told
her everything about what happening in the royal
house ... Her dream was for her to have Mzamo
heart but she was failing dismally in winning him
over... And wish that Sli maybe can help her
.
.
At some restaurant
Austin set down and ordered His drink he
browsed on his phone checking his emails
" sorry I'm late .." Austin smiled and nodded
Austin : let's order drinks so we can get to
business "
Mpilo : sure .."
Austin : you have the contacts for me "
Mpilo : if I may ask why you buying out all the
company shareholder "
Austin : if I have to tell you I will have to kill you "
Mpilo laughed but Austin had a straight face

534 | P a g e
Mpilo cleared his throat and handed him a file
Mpilo : I don't think he will give it up "
Austin : I'm a very persuasive man trust me he will
"
Mpilo : his name is Abdul his from Egypt his
handling all the Zithelo foundation project that
side "
Austin : you have been a great help ... So you
thought about my proposal "
Mpilo : the company will drown without me
already Nola is not copping "
Austin : Mpilo aboard the mission I need you back
at the law firm "
He nodded
Austin : I need to go ... Keep me posted "
Mpilo nodded
Austin made his way to his car and called Mzamo
Mzamo : how did it go "
Austin : like stealing candy from a baby .."
Mzamo : let the take over begin .. "
Austin : I'm flying to Egypt ... Tell Trey that Menzi
signed the contract I hope he knows what his
doing "
Mzamo :the things we do for our friends " they
laughed it "Look I need to go "

535 | P a g e
.
.
Mzamo ***
" thanks for joining me " Sbahle said
Mzamo : how can I say no to my Queen "
Sbahle looked down
Mzamo was still puzzled why Sbahle asked that
they meet outside the royal house but he always
like that she is smart and thinks on her feet
Sbahle : I know you are a busy man Malume so I
will just jump into it "
Mzamo nodded and adjusted himself on his seat
Her : what going on between you and Mveli "
Mzamo like how she is so direct he found himself
laughing
Me : she just another girl that works in the royal
house "
Sbahle : have you not taken interest in her "
Mzamo laughed " I'm too busy to settle down and
take interest in a women ... Her services are
remarkable no doubt but that all she is to me a
servant "
Sbahle : than what I'm going to say won't cause
any drift in the family ...I need her Diary all the
duties she has been doing for royal family must

536 | P a g e
come to an end she need to stay in her lane and
do what required from her "
Mzamo smiled she like what he was hearing
Mzamo : you sound like Pam ... I like the fire in
you but my Queen I'm not the one to convince I'm
with you on this ? "
Sbahle frowned " I'm nor following "
Mzamo : you see when Velile came to our lives
Ma took her in as her own daughter she never
made her feel like an outsider that why you find
her walking like royalty in that house "
Sbahle looked down as much as she wanted to
horner Pam last wish she can not destroy a family
bond the family has with Veli
Mzamo : you the first Lady of the house your
word is final "
Sbahle : I can not use that power and disregard
respecting my in-laws "
Mzamo nodded " just speak to Ma and see what
she will say " this was going to be hard but there
is no harm in trying she than looked at Mzamo
and wish that her request can be taken into
consideration
Sbahle : malume ... I love my husband and the
past few week was not easy for us for the family

537 | P a g e
...I'm trying to rebuild my relationship with him
but I feel like him being across the world from me
will cause another voids between us "
Mzamo : its his legacy that his parent left for him
... I was only given a task to look after his firm till
he graduates he need to know how to run it and
he can not do that leaving in my shadow ...the
name Mnguni was once the most respected
powerful name that was know worldwide after his
father died it became a memory ... Build the name
with him and you will see the man he will be ... "
Sbahle : I can't go to the UK ..."
Mzamo : I don't think you have much of choice in
that matter ... Its either your husband or the royal
house ... Should you chosen the royal house he
may come back with second wife ... Sometimes
the strong wives are the one that are submissive
to their husband ... " Sbahle thought deep on
what Mzsmo just said and was disturbed by her
phone ringing she looked at it
sbahle : I think I'm in trouble "
Mzamo laughed ... Come let's go I will cover for
you "
.
.

538 | P a g e
To be continued...

Chapter 54

Mvelo ***
The minute I got downstairs I saw Mbala talking to
koko and she stood up when she saw me I rushed
to her and gave her hug
Me : how you doing"
Her : I should be asking you that "
I sigh
Her: I need to show you something before the
sunset "
I frowned
Koko : please don't take long Makhumalo is
preparing a cleansing after sunset "
I nodded
Me : ok Koko ... "
I looked Mbali " I need your help mfethu
kunesimo engingasiqondi "
Her : I got all the answers you need truest me I
know "
I nodded we walked out and got in her car in the
car we talked about life in general nothing heavy I

539 | P a g e
could see that she is tense but brushed it aside
The minute the car stopped I looked at her
Me : what are we doing here ?"
Her : your Aunt has all the answers you seek so
come "
I was very hesitant I mean we talking about a
women who wish death upon me for years and
tried numerous times to kill me
Me : this house was never sold " I asked walking in
Her : its royal property so yaaa"
Its looked clean then I thought she walked in and
stood on the middle of the room
Her : I will need your hands ... She said I must
show you something first we held hands and she
started praying and I felt something cold on my
feet like water just like that I had a vision
I saw Sli in some forest not just any forest it was
the one close to the royal garden the trees were
dense and showed little sunlight I moved in
further I saw her saying hello she looked nervous I
saw the water moving and I know that Gogo
Ndoni was here
Sli started running in circles she was terrified no
doubt the water started moving aggressively in
circles making something that looked like a

540 | P a g e
tornado or twist the wind was powerful and sang
it own tune Sli remained paralyzed in one place
something appeared from The big wave of
whirlwind it looked like a snake ... Massive big
yellow and white snake Sli screamed when she
saw Gogo Ndoni for the first time as she slowly
turned into a human she was wearing long white
and yellow dress with lot of beads on her neck
wrist and arms she descended from the water
walked towards Sli sli panicked and she was crying
trying to move but was stuck
Ndoni: why you so afraid mother of lioness "
Sli:.... "
Ndoni: I'm not here to harm you "
Sli looked at her as she calm down she believed
Gogo
Sli: where am I ? "
Ndoni: home where you will rule you were
destined for greater things in life and the devil
knew that you my child are Gods highly favoured
child a miracle baby it took your parents 18 years
after marriage to conceive you your mother
prayed days and night to have you God granted
her wish by touching her stomach and you were
born "

541 | P a g e
Sli face showed shock only few people knew
about that including me
Ndoni: even when you were in your mother's
womb you were a target marrying to the evil
family was a test from God your strength doesn't
come from winning. It comes from struggles and
hardship. Everything that you had to go through
prepares you for the next level for he prepared
you to be the neck of the head of kingdom "
Sli : I don't understand "
Ndoni: you love him I get it ... You his mate I see it
in your heart and soul but his spiritually not ready
to be in your life his journey has just begun but
yours is almost at the finish line all you have to do
is Wait for him to reach the finishing line"
This was all so shocking I can not believe my own
ancestors spoke to sli and promised her my heart
.. I tried to pull away from Mbali's hold but she
held me tight
Mbali : look ..." My focus went back to vision
Ndoni : you beautiful inside and out we happy to
have you as one of our own challenges are soon
to come let them not break you but make you
stronger ... " Ndoni opened portal to the future in
the river i looked at it and saw green fields where

542 | P a g e
sli set on the blanket it was picnic theme she was
pregnant again and was very big when i looked up
i saw Zee laughing and talking non stop she was
holding my hand I looked at sli she was happy i
looked happy as well
Ndoni: you the neck never allow the head to lose
balance.. allow destiny to lead you not your heart
.. His your destiny and you are his ... remember
that God's love is patient persistent and
persevering Spiritual growth is not like fast food.
It takes time for its roots to grow and that
requires you to be receptive and patient.... He will
find you do not look or seek for him "
I let go of Mbali ..I was mad really mad
Me : if they told her this than why we not
together why do I love another ...is that the
reason why she resent Sbahle the way she is
acting like this was of the promise made to her by
my ancestors"
I was walking up and down the room trying to
figure everything out i suddenly head footsteps I
stopped and I looked at Mbali
Mbali " please show yourself " and just like she
commanded it started of looking like a shadow
Have you ever seen what appears to be a shadow

543 | P a g e
person or dark figure stationary or moving with
your own eyes that what I saw The majority of
shadow figures that people experience seem to
be negative malevolent and parasitic. Some are
possibly demonic creatures or even evil spirits or
entities. But this one was peaceful Mbali said a
prayer in tongues and it slowly shifted from
shadow to disturbing half burned face it look old
on one side and gray but soon transformed to a
beautiful women typical African women with her
brown skin glowing she looked at Mbali and
Smiled her eyes shifted to me no doubt this was
my Aunt Nomakhwezi
Her :Mvelo "
My mouth was dry I could not talk or move
lightning strike on my feet and I saw light rushing
to me when I opened my eyes its was my mother
she was very tall wearing her gladiators sandals
and white dress she also was carrying a sword on
her left hand
Mbali : this is not good "
Mom : you summoned an entity ..."
Mbali : I can explain "
Mom : evil can not be in same room with good
you just broke the code of heaven prophet Mbali

544 | P a g e
"
Aunt : Jane please I mean no harm "
Mom : tell that to the Saul's you offers to the
underworld "
Me : mom please I need answers ... She is willing
to give tharm to me "
Mom : she is evil any truth she will give you she
will need something in return this thing bargain
with human souls "
Aunt : I'm between two worlds Jane I need to
cross over but I can't I need Mvelo to help me I
can not get in the ancestral land because I still
have the evil mark ... But I know who wants to
cause him harm... the dreams the unsettling
feeling you have been having I know what caused
it "
I looked at mom the unsettling feeling you have
been having I know what caused it "
I looked at mom she is defiantly a warrior angel
she was the one that passed on her divine power
to me
Me : please mom I need to know " she nodded
and stood behind me
Me : I'm listening "
Aunt : I believe and know for a fact that slindile

545 | P a g e
the mother of the lioness is attacked by spiritual
entity .."
I looked at Mbali
Mom : that impossible she a highly favoured child
of the heavens "
Aunt : she was but destiny was not fulfilled and
that left her vulnerable
... Let's all face it she is the most weakest person I
have ever Seen to have such power and not fully
understand it "
Mom huffed and I looked at her to stop
Me : I don't understand ..
Aunt : Psychic or spiritual attacks aren't always
easy to spot. For some people the attacks are so
subtle or have been going on for so long that the
person isn't aware of the attack.
Some attacks come from people you know.
Others may come from the dark forces you let in
with your heart this spirit have bad intentions and
are targeting her or you for any number of
reasons "
Me: attack ? "
Mbali : a war was declare to you and your family
..evil Vs divinity"
Mbali looked at Mom

546 | P a g e
Me : you knew about this ?...and did not warn me
about this ?? "
Mom : its complicated son "
Me : I'm listening "
Mom : it all started when you meet Slindile
meeting with her was fate .. Zithelo was suppose
to be created as per heavens orders she has spirit
of higher being Silindile was protected when she
was with Zithelo because of the power she
possesses we tried separating you two for years
because love often makes a person weak
we knew that Slindile faith was not strong enough
to be with you and she was once married to a high
ranking pagan witch so it was going to be easy to
use her to get to you ... If you started sharing the
same bed "
Me : you separated us ?"
Aunt : yep They did " mom looked at her
Mom : we had no choice ..Mvelo because of you
we as warrior angels are not fighting evil left right
and center you closed the crack but the
underworld did not just roll over and accept
defeat they waited for an opportunity and it came
when you ended things with Silindile and took
your baby because she was not fully excepting of

547 | P a g e
God orders direction and her faith was
compromised
she is emotionally unstable and has allowed spirit
of anger jealously hate and envy into her life "
Me : you promised her a happy ever after with me
and you tossed her aside ... I would feel the very
same way too !!"
Mbali : we do not always get what we want Mvelo
...the Future that God plan for us is not
permanent he works in mysterious ways the Bible
says that After Joseph endured extreme hardship
and ended up in the palace he told his brothers
"As for you you meant evil against me but God
meant it for good …" (Genesis 50:20). He had the
wisdom and trust that everything he went
through was because of God's good plan for his
life' so why is slindile questioning Gods plan ??"
Mom smiled
Aunt : ok prophet we understand that but back to
the matter at hand there is a devil or demonic
being that has been nocking on Slindile soul and
waiting for her to accept should that happened or
hell will brake lose ..."
Me : but nothing can harm you or invade you
without your permission"

548 | P a g e
Aunt : True but have you seen your baby mama of
late ? Its a matter of time before she allows it in ...
Mvelo you need to help her ... If she turned this
mean that Zithelo soul may be harmed ... "
Me : shit !! This is all my fault "
Mom : you only followed your heart baby you fell
in love with Sbahle you had no control over what
your heart wants "
Me : what is this demon "
Mbali : I only saw the glimpse of the future and it
bad mfethu if the demon infuse in Sli soul the
work we have done over the years will look like
nothing "
Me : Mbali who is it ? "
Mbali : When the fifth trumpet is blown the
‘abyss’ will open and demonic locusts will be
released to torture those who have not received
God’s seal. Their leader will be Abaddon one of
Satan’s high ranking demon "
Mom : Abaddon will have a simple mission
inflicting pain and suffering on those who have
not responded to God and accepted Jesus Christ
as their savior . . . so son look at the world how
many people believe in God and how many don't
... This will be war ?"

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I set down this was to much mom came crouched
down before me and held my face
Her : we can still defeat this my son "
Aunt : yaa but sacrifice need to be made
..Depending on the source there are different
approaches for dealing with the attack. There are
things you can do for yourself and there are things
you can do to address the attacking entity. . ."
Mbali : we can cleans and trap it but if sli heart is
still wounded it will be no use so Sli will need to
stop it "
I shook my head
Mom : Prophet Mbali is right ... There is so much
we can do but Sli will nerd to stop it ..This dark
spirits and entities can move into physical bodies
affecting aura polluting what sli think speak do
desire and feel. If sli is invaded by these spirits or
entities she can take on the physical attributes
illnesses and behavior of the spirit or entity
occupying her body to such a degree that there
appears to be a complete personality change. . .
she is already changing and she is loving the evil
inside of her because it comes with so much
power so you need to help her get read of it and
banish it "

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Me : me ? !!!"
Aunt : someone is listening I need to go ... mvelo
please stay safe and don't be afraid when I come
to you ... I'm only trying to help .. Jane thank you
for giving Me time to speak to my nephew the
great Ngonyama king .. " she smiled and shifted to
a shadow and disappeared "
Mom : I will get information from heaven will talk
later ...." She held my hand and disappeared
Mbali : let's pray to close the link "
.
.
Driving back home I had a lot to think about this
was bigger then me then us
Mbali : what you going to do " she asked the
minute she switch off the engine I looked at her
as we packed outside my house
Me : this will brake Sibahle but its my calling ..."
Mbali : No ... Let me do it "
Me : she will never let you in ... She wants me it's
always been me ... I will need to get close to her
to save her from herself ..." I didn't Waite for
Mbali to answer i jumped out of the car I just
needed to hold my wife when I got in the house
she was not around I tried calling her she did not

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answer
" Mabhengu ukuphi !!"
.
.
to be continued ...

Chapter 55

Sbahle
The festive season was came and gone I had tragic
sad wedding day death happen to my in-laws fight
and toxic event brewed up Veli left the house
kicking and screaming after the day of the
cleansing ceremony they say she committed
treason and was burned from our village i have a
feeling that she is leaving with Sli most probably
plotting ways on how to kill me but I really do not
give a rat ass about that.
Sbu mother decided to take my kids away from
me my smile keeper she told me I'm too young to
take care of four kids and well it was hard saying
Good-bye especially to Naledi
I can't sleep I wake up and go to her room and

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when I get to bed I have difficulties sleeping I miss
her so much sometimes I think it would be better
to not even bother sleeping. How many more
nights like this do I have to endure? How many
more 4a.m’s will I have to see flashing on the
clock? How many more mornings will I wake up
with swollen blood-shot eyes from my not
sleeping How many more nights will I have to
dread thinking about going to sleep all I hear is
her baby cry its like what ever I love God takes it
away from me .
My marriage life is just fucked up I understand
that it's a arrange marriage but we fell in love and
I honestly thought it will be different but little did
I know that it was just not meant to be
I have had events were i just wanted to trow in a
towel and go back home but he will blindsight me
and make me believe that the wild fire will soon
died down.
me and Mvelo we still... What's the word ' ok'
I found my self calling mom and telling her that I
can not do this any more I want to come back
home ever Since the day of cleansing ceremony
my husband has been cold towards me
" Whether you've been dating a short while or

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many years relationships experience ebbs and
flows and if you're in an ebb and noticing that
your partner is distant it can be really painful it
may be that you need to give your partner space
but it may also be that there's something wrong
and he doesn't know how to talk about it By
bringing it up you make it possible for the two of
you to hash things out." Mom said
She is firm believer In marriage maybe the reason
why I stayed is because of her " umfazi
uyabekezela " beliefs and I did not want to be
seen as a failure.
I have been giving him silent treatment it not as if
his around to talk to me any way but frankly I'm
tired of fighting and trying to talk to him
" I can't do this anymore " I said to him a weeks
back my clothes were packed and I was going
back home he cried and bagged me to stay he
promised me he will change he told me He's
stressed out It work the pressures of family life
being in a relationship and university deadlines he
told me his trying to balance everything and he
needs me I put my bag down and stayed with him
Tree day back same thing happen I was about to
leave he made a scene at the airport told me I'm

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exaggerating when I told him his shirt smell of
women perfume he was sad and
sincere I saw it in his eyes and took him back
again " we can make this work Sbahle please don't
walk away from me " he pleaded with me silly of
me I believed him its true what they say love is so
blind
Falling in love can be likened to someone falling
from a high building. The possible result will be
unconsciousness if not death. Take it that
anybody that falls in love is either unconscious or
dead.
His still saving my purity for what I have no idea
he has been up and down doing business related
things ...I suspect something is up I see it in the
faces of the people in this house and I'm still the
one who is in the dark. . . his hiding something big
from me my suspension say there is a women
involve but I have no proof and he has not given
me a reason to believe his cheating.
.
We leaving for UK in few hours time yes i agreed
to go I love Mvelo and being with him will be the
best thing do for us for our relationship and
besides I'm also excited about schools I'll be

555 | P a g e
studying Art an building architect ... I'm excited
yet nervous about leaving ...I suspect something is
up I see it in the faces of the people in this house
and I'm still the one who is in the dark. . . his
hiding something big from me my suspension say
there is a women involve but I have no proof and
he has not given me a reason to believe his
cheating.
.
We leaving for UK in few hours time yes i agreed
to go I love Mvelo and being with him will be the
best thing do for us for our relationship and
besides I'm also excited about schools I'll be
studying Art an building architect ... I'm excited
yet nervous about leaving change is good right .
" wake up sleepy head " I heard him walking in
and placing what smells like food on the side table
he did not come back last night he told me its was
work but his phone was off when tried calling him
when i battle with sleeping alone . what
happening with me ...with us I feel like I'm sinking
to depression this man is killing me my eyes are
still heavy i did not sleep a wink last night I can’t
begin to count the amount of times I have laid
awake and sobbed into his pillow at 4 a.m over

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the last almost month is it normal to cry for a
person like this ?
Out of the entire day of pain that is when I am at
my weakest in my bed at night And I hate it. Just
like out of a movie I will sometimes get up and
stare at myself in the bathroom mirror as I splash
water on my face willing myself to stop and pull it
together. Just like a damn movie. And that makes
me hate it the grief of the love we once share
my sadness myself even more he has changed me
I'm too soft and weak when it comes to him
. It makes me feel like I have totally lost my mind
like I am a totally ridiculous person like I am trying
to “act” a certain dramatic way when that
couldn’t be farther from the truth. It just happens.
I don’t even have the words to truly explain
it...I’m tired of having no one here to comfort me
to hold me and to tell me its going to be OK. I’m
tired of being without him I’m tired of my 4a.m
tear-soaked pillow.
But looks I'm not the only one having trouble
sleeping at times I will wake up to him sobbing in
bathroom when I ask him what wrong he will hold
me and tell me " no matter what I chose you I love
you " a lot is said in our tears but not on actual

557 | P a g e
words
He looks at me with his dreamy eyes and wiped
my lone tear
he promised me it will get better once we in UK
he kissed me on the cheek he moves to my mouth
and he kissed my lips I held him close as he
deepen the kiss I miss this I miss him I ran my
hands under his T-shirt I have not felt his skin on
me for a while now but he pulled out and looked
at me
he looked good very Good
Him : stop undressing me with your eyes " he ran
his hands on my cheek I miss his touch but his
eyes are showing sadness
Me : what going on Mnguni "
Him : I love you so much "
I didn't ask him that he wants to cry he wants to
hold me what ever is happening with him his
afraid to lose me I'm snuggled under his hold his
sniffing i want to see his face but his holding me
tight I pushed him off I'm tired of him making me
his cuddle pillow
Him : Sbahle "
Me : get out of my room and come back when you
ready to talk to me "

558 | P a g e
Him : babe ..."
Me : what the fuck is eating you up ??"
He looks down
Me : its been a whole month Mvelo you acting like
this I did not sign up for this uyezwa !!! "
He was looking down he was not talking
Me: get the fuck out off my room !!!"
I rolled over jumped off from the bed
Him : baby ...."
I'm not in the mood to be with him only this ring
on my hand is the only thing connecting me and
him.
I heard him breath out loud
Him : I'm sorry ok ... " he said outside my the
bathroom door I took my ever long bath I looked
up pushing my tears away
I jumped into my jean and T shirt
my hair is mess I have no time for it .
He was not in the room when I got back as much
as I miss him and wish to hold him I can't seem to
do that with so much distance between us I
dream about the painting of him hugging another
women constantly this days is he cheating on me
? Could it be the reason why his distance? I brush
it aside as he never gave me a reason that his

559 | P a g e
cheating I pray a lot this days and meditate also
...it seams to be working some days and someday
I feel like dying
I set by the couch by the window holding my
knees to my chest it hurts so much I had to get
out of here I took my cap and car keys I was going
to use the back door so that he will not stop me
but I found him standing there with his phone in
his ear
" come on Sli .."
...
" I know ...I know I promised but I need to take
Sbahle to the UK "
...
" I'm still married to her you being unreasonable
right now "
...
" I was with you last night ... "
I held my mouth as tears gush down my cheeks
...
" ya I miss you too ... Look I have to go ...I will call
you later "
...
" I know ... I know ...kiss Zee for me ok "
I held my chest he turned around and saw me

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Him : No ..no ..no Sbahle please Bby its not what
you think ..."
I turned to run off but he held me in his arms I
broke down into a loud cry .
.
.
To be continued ... 6 months later...

Chapter 56

Sbahle
.
.
If you've ever been through a bad breakup you
know that the struggle is real. For the weeks
possibly months it does not get any easy I feel like
I gave up to early I mean isiko lithi ngumkakhe ...
Ngathelwa ngenyongo I'm going against culture
and my belief by choosing me by staying i was
only going to destroy me Break up is saying
goodbye to the person you were once close with
and deeply in love with.
I wish some one would have told me that it hurts

561 | P a g e
so bad " I can't live without him " I sob holding my
pillow tight my heart is broken into million pieces
and I don't know where to start to pick myself up
personally seeing my self like this is just
devastating some may relate but i doubt they
know how I feel they aren’t in this moment this
pain this loud voices in my head saying why did I
leave Sometimes it feels like I'm completely
helpless and I will never get past the suffering.
" I have run you a bath water baby ... Come "
He said I ignore him he open the blind's and I just
pull the covets over my head I heard him sigh he
warned me about this
" I don't trust this boy ... His a fuck boy and he will
brake your heart"
Him : I know its really bad baby but everything
happen for a reason ... Its looks bad right now like
your life is in the dark
but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. "
I lifted the covers off my head and looked at him I
bust out and laugh
Me : you really suck at this "
Him : hay I'm trying here "
Me : i feel like i was I such a fool ... You told me
not go through with this "

562 | P a g e
Him : hayboo unzenzile akakhalelwa but look at
me I'm busy crying with you "
Me : will the pain stop will it go away ?"
Him : i don't know Baby girl but I'm here will get
trough this together ok " I nodded in his shoulder
Me: it still hurts so bad Mlondi ... I feel like I can
not go on "
Him : Cry sob your eyes out scream and yell. As
long as it doesn’t hurt yourself or anybody else" I
chuckled is he ever serious
Him : ook ok but just find ways to release and let
go of the pain you feeling.
. I should have killed him"
Me: Mlondi !!"
Him : what ?! come your bath water is getting
cold "
I smiled and jumped of the bed
When people kindly and humorously tell you all
break ups are hard it’s because they are just that
that what I have realised . " Don’t take this part of
the healing process away from yourself or it will
grow and fester within you. You will naturally feel
some negative emotions no matter how easy or
hard your break up was. Honor your feelings and
know that they will get less intense the more that

563 | P a g e
you let them out. It helps you move past them! "
Mlondi said there is truth into that and its six
months without communication from the outside
world and I'm slowly letting go I can smile I can
talk and I can even take my long walks without
crying yes some days are worse then others but
I'm getting there
You most probably wondering why I'm with
Mlondi well I called him 6 months back when I
found out that my so called husband was Having
an affair with his baby mama
I called my brother after Mvelo confessed to me
about Sli ...
~~flash back ~~
" I don't love her I'm just trying to protect my
daughter "
Me : how long are going to be seeing her "
Him : I don't know Sbahle right now I'm her link to
the righteous passage "
Me : wow she still in love with you and you toying
with her won't that make it worse "
Him: I just need to try I need her to see a light my
ancestors fucked her over and right now she's a
women scorned and that alone is causing her to
self distrust ... Before I'm king husband I have

564 | P a g e
calling Sbahle you know this "
Me : but this is to close to home...why don't you
let any one help her ?'"
Him : Zithelo life is in danger Sbahle "
Me : does Sli knows that or she just too selfish to
get to you that she does not care who she hurts in
the process it was first veli she lost everything
because of her and Zithelo life is in danger not
forgetting me ... I'm hurting Mvelo you can't do
this to me ... To us "_
Him : I'm sorry ..."
Me : you should have told me that you will be
playing happy family with you ex fixing her up "
Him : I was scared to lose you "
Me: it doesn't mater at all now because you
already lost me "
Him : Sbahle ...please don't say that I love you...
only you " he held my hands
Me : I can't Waite for you mvelo "
Him : please baby you my life I need you "
Me : " you lied to me !!!"
Him: I was scared to loose you ... Baby please ...
Give me second chance ..." He pulled me to his
arms
Me : I can't... "

565 | P a g e
He kissed me I tried to push him away ...but he
pulled me to him " I love you Sbahle .. Please
Mami "
I shook my head this tears just continued to run
down like a water fall
Him : don't leave me please "
Me : I have too ... I'm your second best in all off
this "
Him : Sbahle please ..."
His hands traveled under my T-shirt his mouth
was on my neck he was on top of me my T-shirt
was off I always pictured my first time with him to
be different rose petals candle lite soft music
playing kissing under a moonlight
you know like they do in the movies but no it was
break up sex literally break up sex that was about
to happen there was too many emotions the
sobbing kissing with his shaking hand he was able
to undress me and
I was only left on my underwear we were both
crying he was in between my legs and he suddenly
buried his head on my shoulder and let out a loud
cry
Him : not like this "
I wanted to feel him inside me at least he was so

566 | P a g e
so close he ow me that
Him : not like this ..." He jumped into his
sweatpants and walked out leaving me a crying
mess I took my phone and called Mlondi
" Ntombikayise "
I didn't say anything but just cried
It was midnight when I head gun fire I put on my
gown on and I rushed downstairs
I saw koko and sunny looked at me no Waite he
winked at me
Koko : uyambulala umtanami Sbahle... Please help
him " she was crying and my head was buzzing
I looked at sunny
Me : where is my husband !! " he chew on his
matchstick and just looked at me
I heard lot of commotion and breaking of things it
was happening in Mvelo study ooh god no
" Mlondi !!! ...Mlondi ... Please ..." I was crying
and banging on the door what felt forever Mlondi
unlocked the door
Mlondi : come near her I swear to God I will kill
you ... Udlala ngengane Ka ma ...wenanja !! !!"
His T-shirt was full of blood I saw Mvelo body on
the floor he was badly injured I could not
recognize him his face it was swallow there was so

567 | P a g e
much blood ...
Me : ooh my God " I try running to him but Mlondi
threw me over his shoulder and we left ~~~end of
flash back ~~~
it's been six months since last time I saw Mvelo I
cried most of the time I wish I did not have to
involve my brothers to my marital dispute but
Mlondi has help me a lot with moving on his crazy
no doubt but he was just there I told him I don't
want to go home so he took me some beach
house close to Graham's town I told him I don't
want to go home so he took me some beach
house close to Graham's town he said that this
was my dad place he will hold me down when I
cried out for Mvelo and told me he got me. .. I still
wonder how his doing if his still alive the state I
left him in was scary but Mlondi told me that he is
ok ... He just roughen him up its a boy code.
Today marks the exact 6 months of my brake up
I was sick and tired of crying for Mvelo and my
roommate was to cocky at times I wanted to do
something with my life to take my mind of things
Him : where are going ?"
Me : when you going back home "
Him : you fuckin kicking me out of my fathers

568 | P a g e
house "
Me : no ... But I need my trust fund money to start
something... And I need my space "
Him : I can give you money ... And angiyi ndawo "
Me ; what !!! Mlondi ... I'm 19 stop babysitting me
"
Him : aaaah wrong you only turning 19 in
November and that's about 4 months from now ?
so technically I'm still your guardian "
Me : I want to go back to school ...and I need my
trust fund money guardian !!"
He smiled I guess he likes the idea that I'm going
back to school
Him; mom will need to sign for it and it must be
wired to your account "
Me : I'm sure you can make it happened big
brother "
Him : when are you planning on telling Mon about
your fall our marriage "
I frowned
Me : I don't need her lectures Mlondi "
Him : its been 6 months ...and frankly I'm tired of
being Dr Phill in your life "
Me : I didn't ask you !!"
Him : well I'm telling "

569 | P a g e
Me : hàaaaaaaah you so annoying can you leave
me alone please !!!" I walked out banging the
door He chuckled
Him : I love you too
.
.
Mvelo ***
Depression is killer no doubt what I ever I tried to
do with sli did not walk after my brake up with
Sbahle I didn't see the point of leaving I moved to
the UK and focused on work I talked to Zee
everyday but just not visiting her Sli will cry and
tell me he miss me but I will tell her I'm too busy
will see them when I come back honest fact I been
busy but reality will kick in the minute I come
home " Sbahle left me " I have been writing her
letter every night just to stop thinking about her
to much and I will sleep on my study wake up go
to work and do it all over again ... Tonight is no
different then any other night I'm in my study and
writing a letter to her
~~ A letter to my wife ~~
I will never forget the beauty I saw when I first set
eyes on you. Your small eyes that carried so much
fire

570 | P a g e
I never tired of telling you how beautiful you were
I'm sure you still are I remember how you use to
get so irritated when I told you how beautiful you
are .( I smiled )
You were ambitious; it was infectious. You made
me promises I never imagined you wouldn’t keep
...
Life was exciting. We enjoyed nights out exotic
bedroom talk I felt loved and wanted. We married
and planned to have children it never felt like
arranged marriage because this day I still say it
was love at first site .. I bought smile in your life
you use to say but soon took it way from you
Then everything changed. I fucked it up I took you
for granted I thought you will stay even I fore one
wouldn't have stayed if tables were turned I made
so many mistake I regret them because they just
pushed you away from me
I no longer have any zest for life no interest in
anything other than your thinking about your
voice shouting laughter you telling me you love
me . Conversation is one-way now with this letter
in my hand "
I looked at our wedding picture I took it and
kissed it I placed it back on the table and took my

571 | P a g e
pan and continued
" this there are no million questions asked that i
have no answers for I miss your cocky responses
that followed by a paired of grunt and a roll of
those small yes ( I smiled )I miss your cooking the
way you took care of me my bed is lonely and do
cold I moved out from the main bedroom because
everything there reminds me of you its been 6
months I was at home what the point of being a
king without a king .
I don’t cry myself to sleep any more my tears
don’t get me anywhere no one can hear me but I
wake up with a wet pillow ...
I placed my pan down as I head the door bell
ringing I drag my leg its still gives me problems
and taking forever to heal
I opened the door and I was meet by a slap shit
another one and another ... I lost my balance and
fell down hurting my self even more I cried in vain
" masimba Mani lawo awenzayo ... I'm gone for
Botswana for few months and you act crazy "
I looked up its maKhumalo
" mama "
Her : wenzeni Mvelo !!!" I tried standing up but
fuck my leg was killing me

572 | P a g e
Her : yini !"
Me : I broke my leg playing soccer " was not about
to tell her that my brother in law hit me with a
golf stick that will be embarrassing she helped me
up
Her : kwenzakalani ..."
She placed her bad on table and looked at me she
flew all the way to UK to ask me that ? Isn't it
obvious
Me : its long story "
Her : I'm on a vacation so shoot away ..."
I breath out loud looked at her she was not
budging so I told her the whole story
Her : do you love Silindile "
Me : NO...she took everything away from me I
Hate her so much I wish I never meet her !! "
Her : where is Ndlonkululu "
I wanted to find the right words to say that she
gone but I just cried its all I do this day cry I see
her in my dreams everywhere I go I can't believe
she is gone she placed her hand over my
shoulders
Her : you know what I see here is you being a
coward you no longer love sli I understand .. She
is the mother of your child I understand that too

573 | P a g e
but you not honest with her you stringing her
along Mvelo she needs to know that you and her
can never be stop playing hero in her life first you
rescued her from her abusive marriage you were
her shoulder to cry on when she was a widow she
fell pregnant with your child and she felt entitled
that she must be your wife because you went
back and fourth in between her legs... Mvelo grow
up ... You are king now not a teenage boy that's
control by a dick "
Me : she had a vision about gogo Ndoni "
Her : baby idlozi only looks out for there own ...
Dreams and vision may look like something you
wish them to be but integrating something else all
together ... She only believe what she wanted to
believe ... The main focus in her dreams and
visions is the princess she gave birth too "
Me : what !"
Her : Zithelo is the first female lioness in your
family ... That why she must never leave the royal
house ... Lamasimba owenzayo no Slindile
ayangicika because she can't even take care of
that child busy running after you "
Me : mama they say that she was possessed "
Her : so what if she allowing a demon into her life

574 | P a g e
impilo yakhe she should know that with every
action there consequences
stop walking on eggshells with this women she old
enough to accept rejection and walk away what
the fuck is wrong with her nxa... You know what
akangazi kahle lo ngizodila naye "
Me : what about Zithelo "
Her : Will speak to Pastor Majozi about this ...
Indlela ibuzwa kwabaphambili my boy "
I laughed and shook my head
Her : " what's so funny "
Me : Sbahle once said that very same line to me"
" She is smart women ...young but smart ... You
lost good one there my boy "
She stood up
Her : let me make you food .." She was busy
talking to herself as she made her way to the
kitchen
Her: you and Mbali may have the powers but you
still Need guidance ... Just look at this mess you
created what if Nomakhwezi wanted to destroy
your marriage and you played right in her trap "
I pooped my eyes open
" never trust this things they always bargains with
peoples life "

575 | P a g e
Me : ooh thixo "
Her : yini "
Me : it something that mom said "
.
.
Sli ***
" congratulations miss Zwane you 3 months
pregnant " the Dr said wiping the gell
Veli screamed " oooh my God Sli you finally did it
"
I just held my face and cried no ...no this can't
happen
Veli : ooh Wait till we see the Queen face now ...
You finally got your seat baby "
Me : it's over its all over "
Veli : what's wrong ... You carrying the next Prince
there ... And Mvelo will have no choice to marry
you now "
Me : its not Trey baby "
.
.

576 | P a g e
Chapter 57

Sbahle
" why you looking at me like that "
Him : nothing "
Yoo Mlondi is so annoying I know he wants to say
something but he is just looking at me
Me : yini !!"
Him : ok ... Ok ... I can not tell you but I can show
you "
I rolled my eyes
Me: I hate surprises Mlondi "
Him : I know but this not a surprise Ok ...maybe its
kinda is ... But either way I'm going to show you...
So while you were out I did some digging "
Me: digging"
He bit his lip... Yoo lady's my brother is hot but
only if he did not have that attitude he will just a
catch
Him : this house is big and I wondered why it was
not sold like the rest of my dads assets and why
my uncle never knew about it
Me: wena how did you know about it "
Him : let's just say I have my ways "
I stood up took our plate the sink he followed me

577 | P a g e
Him : have you checked out other rooms in this
house "_
Me : ooh dear brother if only I wants depressed
mopping over my the break up of my marriage I
would have "
Him : ha...ha ... Ha funny "
He made a face and I laughed at him
Him : so remember those cups you bought dad for
fathers days and his birthday with does goofy
quotes .."
I nodded and smiled
Me : he love them "
Him : off caused he did and somehow I think
coming here was no coincidence "
Me: haybo what is this all about "
He pulled my hand " come let me show you "
We walked to the basement he switch on the light
and I held my mouth
Me : my cups "_
Him : its true what they say A father holds his
daughter’s hand for a short while but he holds her
heart forever..."
Me : ooh my God Mlondi "
I ran my hands to the displayed mugs I read them
out

578 | P a g e
One of the greatest gifts I’ve ever gotten came
from God. I call him daddy.” happy father day
...love Sbahle
“Dad. He can play like a kid give advice like a
friend and protect like a bodyguard. My hero ...
Happy birthday
“Daddy thanks for being my hero chauffeur
financial support listener life mentor friend
guardian and simply being there every time I need
a hug.” – get well soon Sbahl ...oh my
Ohh my god I look at each and every one of this
cup and I looked around it was his art studio
Him : you still think this was not coincidence "
He held my shoulders
Him : you the only one that has his talent why
don't you try and embrace it
Me :Mlondi I haven't touch a paint brush over 7
years "
Him : you still have that pain from the break up
soon it will turn into anger you my sister and we
Bhengu we laugh hard and hate even harder I was
glad that boy "
Me : Mvelo "
Him : ya what ever him he pull you out from that
dark whole you were once in but life is never a

579 | P a g e
straight line and I will hate to see you get back
into it ... This is your escape let me carry the anger
the hate the bullshit for you but I want you to
escape here this must be you happy place "
Me : Mlondi I don't know what to say "
Him : just horner your father Sbahle if you can't
do this for yourself then do it for him .. Make him
proud "
Me ; ... I don't know" I looked at the knew paint
brush and paper I was shocked
Me: you did all this ? "
Him : yaa .. But still kept the old in that corner "
I nodded
Me : I don't know what to say "
I was feeling very emotional now ...
Him : ok stop making me Dr Phill or Opra but the
thing is you always had great relationship with
dad I've made it my business to observe you two
the while growing up And I’ve seen some
incredible beautiful things. Like the little girl who
was not very cute – her teeth so funny with
braces and her hair doesn’t grow right and she’s
got on thick glasses – but her father holds her
hand and walks with her like she’s a tiny angel
that no one can touch. He gives her the best gift a

580 | P a g e
woman can get in this world: protection. And the
little girl learns to trust the man in her life. And all
the things that the world expects from women –
to be beautiful to soothe the troubled spirit to
soothe the troubled spirit heal the sick send the
greeting card bake the cake – all of those things
become the way we pay the father back for
protecting us so am I wrong ?"
I ran to him and hugged him
Me : thank you "
Him : I'm not a hugger Sbhahle you know that "
Me : you and me both big brother "
Him : aaaah man !
.
.
Mvelo
I'm swamp with work and I suddenly heard a
knock on my door
Me : go away I'm busy "
" that's the reason why you have not been
returning my calls and massages "
I looked up and Smiled " Austin ... Hay what's
brings you here'
I limp up to give him a bro hug
Him : so now i need yo have reason to check up

581 | P a g e
on my friend "
Me ; i guess you don't "
Him ; obviously ... Look I'm only here for few night
so let's grab a drink "
I looked at the paper work on my desk
Him : I'm not taking no for an answer "
Me : fuck "
We walked to the nearest pub down the road
from the office and settled down for some drinks
Him : hows the knee"
Me: I'm dreading surgery but I think I need to see
Dr now "
Him : told you that Mlondi is nut case "
Me: trust me I know he crack my jaw broke my
nose broke my knee fractured my leg and guess
what I got two broken ribs so I'll drink to that "
Austin mouth was on the floor
Me : and you know what I don't mind getting
another beating because I plan on getting my wife
back "
Him : dude are you crazy ... He did tell you he will
kill you next time "
Me ; if getting killed is the only option to getting
my wife back so be it "
Him : what the fuck man No !"

582 | P a g e
Me : look man Not all relationships survive the
test of time and there will always be moments
when you would feel the need to finally give up
and let go. However it’s not also that easy to just
drop everything and leave because you’re talking
about something that once made you the
happiest person in the world – so im stuck in the
frustrating and heartbreaking dilemma between
staying and saying good bye. And dude I ain't
saying goodbye
Him: so how do you plan on doing that "
Me: I will wait ..." He chocked on his drink
Him : what ...?
I nodded " I'm just going to allow Sbahle to Take a
break and I know deep down she has not said
goodbye or close our chapter but her heart is still
bleeding from what I put her trough I will never
give up on my relationship just yet because as
long as we both believe in our love for each other
there will always be a rainbow after every storm.
Maybe we just need a break from everything?
And For her to Take all the time that she need "
Him : yooo! who the fuck are you and what did
you do with the Ass I called my friend "
I laughed

583 | P a g e
Me : you know that saying that you never know
what you have till its gone mfethu loosing Sbahle
made me grow up over night you only have that
one girl ... That one girl that just completes you "
He nodded
Me : I'm in no rush in fixing us ... She is my Queen
all will fall into place when I make my move "_
Him : yoooh!
Trying an fix an almost broken relationship while
the bruised are still visible it can be emotionally
taxing and it can even affect her physically and
emotionally so I plan to take it easy. She deserve
to breathe – and remember that at the end of this
remedy i have her and she has me
Me : so tell Me about Menzi how is he adjusting "
Him : dud I can't believe you made me his boss
the guy is killing us his loosing cases as if he did
not go to law school... I'm thinking of putting him
on performance management "
Me : naaa give him family law cases ...I think he
may win one or two "
Him : Trey you killing me here ... If you were not
my boss I would have said fuck you "
Me : we outside the office ..." I looked at him
Him : fuck you !!! "_

584 | P a g e
Me : ooh well thank you bro !"
We bust out laughed I missed this white redneck
.
Sli ***
" I hate office meeting they are so formal "
He set on the couch so I decided to fold my legs
under my desk
Him : what is this meeting about boss lady "
I really do not like this guy and it does not help
that his aura makes me so uncomfortable I fixed
my hair my hands are sweating and his noticing
this he stood up and set on my table
Him : dinner at my place tonight "
He licked his lip and ran his hand on my face
Me : Mpilo what happened between us was a
mistake and it has to stop ... I'm fixing things with
my baby daddy "
He laughed and stood up " a mistake is a kiss " he
locked my door " you touching my dick ..is a
mistake ."
I stood up " what are you doing "
He closed my blinds
Me : Mpilo please get out right now "
Him : make me boss lady "
He whispers in my ear my " a mistake is not you

585 | P a g e
come back over and over aver to ride my dick
...this " I felt him raising my skirt he pushed me to
the couch ... Why am I not stopping him why am I
even wet for him I feel my wall opening up for
him
Me :mmmm" I held my mouth
Him : this is me pleasuring you and you like it "
I shook my head
Him : do you still call this a mistake"
He did not move his big black cock that was
buried dip inside of me locked in by my walls
Him : I can stop if you feel like its still a mistake "
He slowly pulled out
Me: please don't "
Him " yes Boss lady .." he went in for the kill my
virgins was on fire ... He fucked me like a whore
he never kissed me or touched me but just
devoured me
"" hello Earth Silindile " I looked up Nola was
waving her hand at me
Me : I'm sorry I'm not feeling well I need to go "
Nola : Sly come on . . . we need this account you
can't just leave you just for here
Her : Nola please .. "
Nola : ya sure Sli its not likely its going to be the

586 | P a g e
first time where I singly run this company on my
own"
_I was a crying mess as I ran out how can I be so
stupid out of all the guy I could have sex with I
chose the Durban play boy to fuck me and make
me pregnant ...
.
.
To be continued

Chapter 58

Sli ***
I walked into Zithelo bedroom she was kneeling
down and praying I looked at her and smiled my
baby is growing up so fast and I hate that I caused
such drift between her and her father I wanted
Trey to love me and take me back so much that I
lost my self in the way he told me he hates
fighting with me and requested that we go to
therapy for the sake of Zee but still again I was
under the infatuation that he will be mine he told
me time and time again that he is in love with his
wife and he will never take a second wife Sbahle

587 | P a g e
completed him and he wish that I respect his wife
because Sbahle also respect me ad his baby mama
.
He told me that its not easy letting go of someone
you taught you belong to but Gods plans are
never what we want but what he wants from us
he reminded me the importance of prayer but I
was just too far gone him being in my house and
talking to me more like counseling me made me
see the light that he was never mine to claim but I
had hope that God can just listen to my prayed
and give me this perfect family I so badly wanted
... But yet again I never took time to kneel down
and ask God for that ... I hated him for taking my
dream and giving it to another women.
The day Trey left he told me he can not help me if
I can not even try to help my self .. He was broken
and told me he lost everything because he
wanted to be there for me as the mother of his
child that was 6 months ago ... I lost him and my
daughter suffered in the process I seek comfort in
another mans bed but came out with a baby that
was not planed and it turned out to be very ugly
when I confronted Mpilo about it .
" are you trying to trap me with the baby ? ... Fuck

588 | P a g e
women you better kill that thing ... Or go tell who
ever made you pregnant about this baby ...this
was just sex ... You must be crazy if you think I'm
in love with you " Mpilo denied the baby not only
that he resigned from work ... My life just went
from sli the motivational speaker to sli the whore
... Mpilo posted a video of us having sex " my boss
the motivational speaker with a tight pussy she
even screams Gods names while I'm fucking her
brains out" the video is going viral ... I just wish to
pack my things leave south Africa my life is
finished this is just too much .
Her : in Jesus name Amen " I looked at my baby
and wiped my tears
Me: Amen " she looked up at me and smiled
Her : why you crying mammy "
Me: mommy is sad baby "
Her : come "
I went to her and sat on get bed
Her : kneel mommy God need you to respect him
when you Specking to him "
Me : ooh ... Who taught you all of this "
She smiled
Her : Hle -hle she said that when we cry we must
never forget to prey she said that tears are a

589 | P a g e
windows to sadness and if we pray God will wipe
our tears and make us happy so try it mommy "
Me : I think I made God mad "
She giggle
Her : God is forgiving God mommy .. You want to
know how you can pray but also have a chat with
God ? "
I nodded
Her : Hle-hle said that when we pray we need to
Start off by thanking God for being with us and for
providing for our family thank him for his great
unconditional love "
Me : wow ... What else did she teach you about
praying"
Her : that we must
Ask God to forgive our mistakes.
Then present our needs and requests to him
Close with thanking and praising him for all of hid
blessings to us
Do you you want to try it mommy
I nodded
I wiped my tears and held my hands together
Me :
Lord God I trust in you today. I thank you that you
keep turning the pages of my life. Everyday you

590 | P a g e
give me a new beginning. . .
O Lord I am so sorry. I lay before you my regret
my guilt and my heartache. I ask for your
forgiveness and trust in your everlasting grace to
redeem me and guide me in the right way. Thank
you for your goodness to me Jesus. I love you.
Amen.
Her : you will be OK now mom ... Remember as a
Gods child only you can allow the devil inside of
you Pray every day mom and you will be ok "
I felt this wave of emotions running over me I
cried in my daughter arms and I felt a huge
burden bing lifted off
Me : thank you baby " she jumped into her her
bed
" don't thank me thank God "
Me: who teaches you all this things "
Her : hle -hle ...she my Queen goodnight mom "
she turned her back at me as I looked at her and
felt a glimpse of guilt all along I have been hating
on a God fearing women ...
.
.
Sbahle ***
I took a long walk down the coast and I must say I

591 | P a g e
love how the breeze hit my face I set down and
looked at the sea and looked at my ring I smiled
Everything inside me wants to scream and yell to
the entire world how much I hate Mvelo and how
much I never want to see him again. But that
would be a lie I couldn't live with. As much as I
want people to think his the biggest asshole deep
down I don't.
For the past months that I have known him. He
has been my rock. The person I looked forward to
talking to every single day the one I could trust
with my life and the one I would never stop loving
I miss him so much his laugher the way he hate
wearing his T-shirt
" babe put a T-shirt on we got maids in the house
that unable to work with you walking around with
you perfect abs "
Him : this belongs to you they can look but they
can't touch ...besides I got a crazy wife that will
put them to order if they start having and ideas "
I missed how much he loved to call me " mkami ..
My wife ...Mabhengu Ngiyakuthathanda"
Growing up after my father died i never thought
that they will be another man who will love me
the way he used too Mvelo has taught me so

592 | P a g e
much more than I could imagine. He taught me to
love unconditionally and I can never thank him
enough. Days like this I miss everything about
Mvelo . I miss waking up next to him and hearing
his silent snoring the way he held me tight and
how his boner made me feel uncomfortable but
hot and horny at the same time I see him smile
when I close my eyes his touch I wish to feel and
his kiss. I'll miss our adventures and all of the
crazy times we had together. I guess all things
really do come to an end. . . but how can God give
me man that was sent from heaven to love me
and he take him away ... Was I never enough for
him that's why he chose her over me was I not
sexy enough that's why he never wanted to have
stay with me ...I know for a fact that he was my
lesson a lesson to never love someone so much
because they can always leave. . .
" he must have really broke your heart for you to
cry out loud like this in public "
I looked up there was some guy standing over me
offering me his handkerchief
I did not realise that I was crying out loud I snatch
the handky wiped my teas blow my nose and gave
it back to him

593 | P a g e
Me : thank you "
I stood up and walked away living him stunned at
my actions . well the unapologetic Sbahle is back I
laughed to myself
The minute I got home I was welcome by shouting
Me : mom !"
She was mad really mad
Her : what's this I hear that you left you house 6
months ago !!"
Mlondi : he hurt her mom !!"
Mom : angikhulumi nawe wena "
Mlondi : yeah what ever I'm out of here " he
walked out leaving me with dragon Lady
Her : talk "
Me: mom I took all your advise but he still chose
her over me "
Mom : why didn't you come to me"
Mom : kanjani ma when you keep telling me to
bekezela .. Emendweni kuyabekezelwa "
Her : its figure of speech Sbahle every mother says
that to there daughter when they face merital
problems I was not going to chase you away uma
ufika ekhaya .. Mtanami ... Kodwa umthwala
ubunzima kangaka and you did not come to me ?"
She started crying

594 | P a g e
Me; I'm sorry ma ... I just wanted to leave that
house and never look back I knew that his family
will look for me at home and I was not ready to
face him "
Her : baby ...I'm so sorry I failed you yet again "
Me : no mom you made me stronger I was
someone wife ...a Queen of his land your words
did not brake me but they made me but I could
not stay with a man who's heart belong to
another "
Her : oooh baby ... I'm so sorry "
Me : I love him mom " I could not stop the tears I
just cried there something about being in our
mothers arms that just makes buried pain come
rushing back out
Her : its ok My baby mama is here "
.
.
Mvelo ***
" thank you Banzi "
Him : yah what ever don't mention it so how long
are you going to stalking her "
Me : non of your business bro ... How long did you
stalk Mpume "
Mpume is his wife

595 | P a g e
Him : well that was fate bro ...its a whole different
story "
I chuckled I had asked Banzi to look for Sbahle
location and with his special oops background he
can track a person just in few minutes and boom
he got everything
Him : you really doing this ? "
Me : ya I need my girl back "
Him :Mlondi still has tight security over her he is
watching her every move "
Me : fuck ... Its been 6 months bro what the hack
?"
Him : she still is his baby sister so it can even take
a years for him to let his guard down ... "
I looked down we were talking via Skype
Him : you know I can abduct him for few day and
you work your charm on your wife and win her
back the minute we let him go she will long be
gone and in your arms "
Me ; what ... Fuck no .. "
Him : hay just think about it ... "
He had straight face on which means he was not
bluffing well him and Mlondi did not get along
from what Sbu told me and looks like it was more
of personality thing they just so alike ...

596 | P a g e
Me : how's Sbu ... ?" I had to change the subject
thinking about Sbahle just got me angry she so far
and I have no clue what she thinks of me ... Will
she even take me back if she does will she ever
truest me a lot was going through my mind and
driving me crazy I looked at Banzi on the screen
He scratch his head " bad man really bad ... You
nerd to speak to him bro "
Me : I don't know he said he don't want to see me
or my Baby because we remind him of Pam .. I
think his not yet moaning or grieving for Pam but
pretty mad that she left him .. I saw whisky bottle
shattered in pieces on Pam tombstone the last
time I was there "
Him : what !"
Me : its like he fighting with her ..."
Him : no wander Zoe hired a cleaning company
she said the house was a mass when she got there
"
I nock disturbed me it was my P.A
" sir you need to be in court in 15 min "
I nodded " look man thank you again for the pics
and my wife's location ..I ow you one ... I need to
go duty calls "
We said our goodbyes and I looked at the file he

597 | P a g e
gave me first thing I did was look at her pictures I
ran my hands on my laptop screen
" I miss you so much "
" you so beautiful .. I'm so so sorry "
I smiled wiping the tears on my eyes she looked
so innocent and I fuck up and broke her heart
There will never be a day that goes by that she
won't run through my head. With every word
that's said something about it reminds me of her
my beautiful wife When I think about her last
words I'll always feel like screaming "Don't leave!
... I need you .. Don't do this to me ... To us " ill
always remember her crying but I still chose
another women over her it was selfish of me
asking her to stay in such a situation I just wanted
to have my bread butters on both sides not
considering her feelings
She watched me cry and and she still had
everything in her to look me in the eyes and say
you don't want this anymore. . . I was such a fool
how can I allow Silindile to manipulate me like this
after everything I have done for her she still had
to take away the only thing that gave me joy yes I
fucked her over but she allowed me to and when I
said it over " its over " God damit

598 | P a g e
The fact that Sbahle left me everything inside of
me was left broke. It's still hard to breathe. And
it's all because of the person I love I'll hate to
think that she don't miss me. Even if I do every
second of the day .
I try to believe that maybe this is for the best that
she let go of me maybe it would make her realize
what she had. That maybe she needed to lose me
for me to find her again. I know timing is
important and maybe she ain't ready for me. I
know for fact that She was my lesson that I need
to spend all my days in this life showing her how
much I love her ... Should she gives me me a
second chance
.
.
To be continued ...3 months later

599 | P a g e
Chapter 59

Sbahle ***
I wiped my hands and looked at it and It was the
same as the one in my dreams It took a lot in me
to paint and when I finally do I paint a picture that
looks the same the one in my dreams I have no
idea why but my hands started painting and I
could not stop its been almost 24hrs in this
basement and I finally finished ...
Mlondi : wow !"
He said behind me
Him : sisi you did this ?"
I rolled my hand and took his plate in his hand
wow food I bite in his stake sandwich ..mmmmm
it taste so good
He took a picture of it and talked about talking to
guy who knows a guy and we can sell this
Me: mmm no "
Him : Sbahle this is good ... You need to show this
to the world "
Me : its my first painting and I don't know its not
even that good "
He looked at me as if I messed up my face
Him : let me be your manager and baby girl I will

600 | P a g e
take you places "
I laughed at him what does he know about being a
manager in the first place
I laughed
Him : ooh by the way there is guy name Zuki ..zuls
or something looking for you ? "
Me : oooh my God and you telling me this now ? "
Him : well ya ... "
Me : Mlondi !!"
I rushed upstairs well Zuko is the guy from the art
gallery I went to with Mvelo on our last date ...
Yes it was anyway he was doing his other
showcase in grahmtown art gallery mom took me
there three months back when she was here and
we bumped to each other well his been great help
with getting me back in the game of art well I will
not call him my friend but we hang out his
showed me few tricks and lucky for him I learn
fast
Him : sorry to come to your house announced ...
Your highness '
I looked at him
He chuckled
Him : I'm sorry Sbahle "
That's more like it

601 | P a g e
Me : what's bings you here ? ... I hope my brother
did not give you a hard time "
He tried to hug me but stopped he knows how I
feel about this hug shit
Mlondi : I did .. Who is this Zuli ..."
Me : its Zuko .. And I told you about him his art
teacher " I call him that because I can actually say
we friends we only meet in public places like
parks Beach malls and museum and he teaches
me few things and later on we grab something to
eat and we part ways .. Well Didy calls what I'm
going with Zuko going on dates but how would I
know I have never been in date before I'm just an
18 who did not last a month in her marriage I only
kissed one guy and only been with one guy being
with Zuko its deferent his not close to being
Mvelo not that I want him to be but his open
outgoing and lot of fun
Mlondi : so art boy ufunani la ?"
Me : And what's in it for you... you know what
don't answer that ...Zuko let me go fresh in up will
be with you shortly and wena behave " I pointed
at Mlondi I rushed to the bathroom took quick
shower put on my denim dress and white kicks
and fixed my hair took my slingbag my phone and

602 | P a g e
lip gloss yep I'm good to go
and I was out I found Mlondi giving the poor guy
an intimidating look ooh brother please
Me : come let take a walk "
He did not think twice but he was up on his feet
Mlondi : you touch her I cut your hands "
Me ; mlondi !"_
Zuko : is your brother always like that ? "_
Me : no .. You caught him in a good mood today "
Him : what if that is his good mood ... I don't want
to know what his bad or normal mood is like "
We laughed
Me : he just too overprotective ... But don't mind
him ..so what brings you to this part of town "
Him : was hoping we could check out the graffiti
and maybe hand out in the beach some surfers
decided to throw a beach party "
Me ; what I never been to beach party "
Him : come you will like it "
I smiled well we walked there and o must say I
love how colours infuse with each other in graffiti
this mad skill no doubt
Him : let me show you how easy it is "
He took a can of spray and did his thing and
looked like my name at the end

603 | P a g e
Me : wow "
Him : try it ... "
Me : noo I'm not in your league as yet "
Him : oh come on Sbahle live a little and try it "
I took spray paint shook a bit and wrote on top of
Sbahle ' HLELO'_ that the name me and Mvelo
plan to give our first baby
Him ; and that?"
Me ; just a name ..." he nodded we walked to the
beach and my mood was already sour now I
wanted to go back home and cry ... I miss Mvelo
so much and it does not help that everything I do
reminds me of him
Well the beach was packed and its still chilly
because we just got out of winter month but girls
here are swaying what there mother gave them
good Lord
Him : ooh come let's go sit over there that my
causing the one I told you about that was having
21 first birthday "
I nodded and felt guilt because he invited me and
i bluntly said No
I looked at him
Him ; I understand and trust me I'm over that "
He may sound assuring but he was pretty sad that

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day "_
Me : yes off cause .." Sbahle what did you just do
you agreed to sit with a bunch of loud mouths ...
Hello you hate crowds ... But how will I know I
hate crowd if I don't try this experience ... I kept
telling my self ... "
Well it looks like people came in couples here and
this guy was holding my back now if I'm counting
heads there were six people here
" ooh handkerchief girl is that you " I looked at
guy and frowned
Him : don't tell me you forgot about me ... So guys
remember when I told you that I meet this girl in
this very same beach crying her eyes out and
when i offer her my designer handkerchief she
blew her nose in it and handed it back yo me and
said ...wait for it " tank you " " they all bust out
and laughed fuck small town people don't you just
hate them everybody just knows every one
Zuko : wow really was that you ?"
He looked at me
Me : I had no use for it any more so back to the
sender "
They all bust out and laughed ... There are really
loud ... Zuko introduces me and I suck with names

605 | P a g e
and never paid any attention to them I'm rude like
that so bite me I set down on what looked like a
beach towel but decided to dust the sand of first
"_drink " asked a girl in purple braids ... Bold
colour for her skin tone but hay I'm not hear to
judge ..
Zuko : no Sbahle does not drink .."_he gave me a
can of coke ... Ooh boy really I will be burping till
kingdom come I miss day when Mvelo surprised
me with thick cocktail juice and the quite
environment only our heartbeat will do the
talking
Zuko : are you ok :
Me : yap "
Him : are you sure ?"
Me : yes " ... No I'm not sure about this but I feel
like its the least I could do for him for the work he
has put in into helping me connect with painting
again ... So this is my thank you to him since hr
refused I pay him funny that we have 7 mouths
speaking all at once but my mind was on the man
I can not be with They were laughing and joking
around well if this what drunk teenagers do I
rather stuff my face with food and watch Netflix
in my room

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Zuko : you sure you ok "
I nodded and smiled as he put his arms around my
shoulder
Zuko is just those guy that never pay any
attention to how he looks his mouth indicates
that his a heavy smoker and his hair Jesus I don't
want to go there his dirty look looks cool for most
girl .. You know the Emtee kind of a look but he
just not my type
Him : thanks for hanging out with me "
Me : I'm sorry for cutting your fun short but you
know how my brother is like "
So after spending the long hours of my life with
the loud crew I made Mlondi my escape goat
Him : I know ... But thanks any way ... Breakfast
tomorrow?....pleeeeeese ? "
" I don't know "
Him : please Sbahle " he was tipsy and him being
on my face was just annoying me now
Me ; ok kwl ... But I got to chose the place "
He hugged me ... Bloody heal ?
Him : thank you " and he kissed my cheek he
winked at me and ran off what the fuck just
happen ?
.

607 | P a g e
.
Mvelo ***
I came back to South Africa for damage control
my plan was to come next month to do something
special for Sbahle on her birthday month and try
and to win her over but yet again Austin decided
to hid the sex tape scandal news from me not just
hide it from me but do nothing about it ... Come
on we talking about the mother of my baby here if
it wasn't for Menzi loud mouth I wouldn't have
know so here I am in some where house beating
the shit out of this mother fucker and he had the
audacity to tell me his sorry
" you just massed up my shirt you asshole "_
" I didn't know she was your baby mama i swear "
Me : you missing the point here " I gave him
another blow I was mad I was really mad.
I knew there was something fishy when Koko told
me that Sli left baby Zee and she was not in her
right state of mind she asked me if i was the one
responsible for her being pregnant again that was
shocking new to me as well because I never touch
Sli or even slept with her I may be everything but I
respected my wife and went out the wrong way
to help sli I was not going to cheat on my wife

608 | P a g e
with my baby mama never ! I respected Sli to
much to make her the other women all i did was
just try and help her to get back to the right path
and I hopped by talking to her and therapy with
her was going to do the trick but she was just far
gone.
when I asked Austin about her he said he doesn't
know but Menzi and his big mouth decided to
send Me the sex tape and spill the beans about
this guy I was fuming regardless that me and Sli
are not together she is still the mother of my child
and I will forever respect her she gave me a gift a
life and she will always has a special space I'm my
heart I know I am ass a Jack but I was brought up
to know the true value of a women and that why
that when ever I get into heated argument with a
women I work away A woman should always be
treated with respect. Under no circumstances
should arguments escalate to a point where
you’re attacking and bringing her down. These
acts of disrespect lack respect and can easily turn
into emotional and physical abuse. No matter
where an argument takes you you should practice
self-control and openly communicate what’s
bothering you. Give her the same respect you'd

609 | P a g e
want If you’re doing anything that compromises
that than just walk away
Me : you made her pregnant ... You denied the
baby ... And if that was not humiliating enough
you spread her ass on the social media you know
how much money I had to spend to remove that
link from the media !!"
Mpilo : im truely sorry I did not know ..for one I'm
going trough stuff I was not thinking and I was ...'
Me: Austin your hired this filth to work in my
company..... My company!!! "
Mpilo popped his eyes out
" ooh yes mother fucker I'm the " Mnguni " on the
Mnguni and associate ... That is on the wall of that
building that my firm my name and you Just
kissed your career goodbye "
Him : please sir I need this job ... "
He held my leg and kicked his face
Me: you should have thought about that before
you scared my baby mama for life get this piece of
shit out of my sight my guards took him I took off
my shirt and made my way to the nearest tap to
washy bloody hands
Me: what you connection with this Mpilo guy
Austin ?"

610 | P a g e
Him : ah...aaah "
Me : so there is a connection ?'
Him : look Trey ... I did not know he was seeing Sli
that was not what we agreed on ... So Mzamo ..."
Me : what the fuck ... I'm so fuck and tired of my
family meddling in my business ... If its not my
ancestors its Mzamo and koko.....I'm busy doing
damage control now while I should be busy trying
to fix things with my wife !!! ...and bona where
are they now !!! "
I received a text from Banzi with Sbahle and some
fuck boy
" looks like your girl is dating "
Me : what the fuck !!!" I threw my phone across
the room
.
.
To be continued

611 | P a g e
Chapter 60

Sbahle ***
I found Mlondi with sunny in the house there eyes
were fixed on the laptop and as soon as I came
walked in Mlondi they shut the lap top
Me: are you guys watching porn? "
Sunny : Something like that "
Mlondi : no !!"
They talked at the same time and I just laughed at
them
Me : uphekile? "
I asked Mlondi and he looked at me funny and
walked up to me and sniffed me
Him : you smell of weed "
Shit the loud crew were smoking it
Me : i wasn't smoking it '
Him : ooh yeh I know that ... But that high mother
fucker took you out to where he smokes ...Sbahle
come on ... What if something happened to you "
Me : like what when you got people following me
around "
Him : ....
I kissed his cheek " goodnight "
Him : I'm still going to kill that high head ... "

612 | P a g e
Me : no you won't because you only try to kill
people I'm in love with ... "
Him : people ? ... Dude you only in love that that
Mnguni guy "
I looked at him
Me: what ? "
Him : I know you still do I'm not stopping you
from dating or anything but try choosing guys that
are in his leagues this art teacher is not a right fit
for you "
Me : if I didn't know better I will say you liked
Mvelo for me "
Him : what fuck no ... Why you twisting my
words... "
Me : and for your information i was not dating
Zuko he was just helped me with finding my long
lost passion "
Him : ya what ever you have been out and about
with this high head and trust me that called dating
if you not interested in him just call it quite "
Me : I got you to do that for me ...what is that you
do you roughen them up right "
Him : Sbahle don't act smart with me ..."
He called out
" goodnight sunny "

613 | P a g e
Sunny " Nkosazane " I got into my room and took
my phone and texted Didy about today's event I
wish I was her she is enjoying the varsity life and
doing herself I don't know how she convinced her
dad to continue doing fashion but she doing what
she loves and she looks very happy I can say
proudly now that she the only friend I have me
and Zim hit rock bottom and I haven't heard from
her in months and I just stop reaching out for her.
Didy was laughing like crazy when I finished telling
her about my outing tonight
Her : so you going to do breakfast with him? "
Me : nop Mlondi will scare him off I know "
Her : you such a snob it was a beach party for
crying out loud you were bound to sit on the sand
and drink fuzzy drinks "
Me : ooh hell no ..."
Her : you my friend its true what they say
princesses are not made there are born wena you
so used to the finer things in life and no man will
top Mvelo game " she is right
Me: last time i was at the beach it like the sea
waves the sea breeze and the sand under my feet
spoke the same language Mvelo walked next to
me with his hands on his pocket and told me

614 | P a g e
about his life school and family he was in no rush
and listened to me when I talked I stuffed my face
with lot of junk food and he made fun of how my
eye closed when I laugh
he will stop and move the hair from my face he
was gentle with me and wanted to get to know
me he complimented me on how beautiful I look
and the smell of my perfume he paid extra
attention to detail to my every move which made
me fall for him I will never forger how he washed
my feet and took off his T-shirt to wipe my feet
with before putting my shoes on ... That my first
date I enjoyed with a guy at the beach and I don't
see no other guy topping it "
Her : will you take him back if tomorrow he will
show up at your doorstep "
Me : I love him "
Her : i know that but would you ?"
Me : I don't know Didy ..."
Her : they say if you still holding on to someone
like you still do chances are his holding on to you
too just prepare yourself sweetheart because one
of this day Mr Mnguni will come and claim what
his "
.

615 | P a g e
.
Mvelo ***
" I'm sorry "_ I was on a call with Sli this women is
so stupid and I'm done cleaning up her mess she
only know how to cry and say sorry
Me : you don't ow me no apologise you nothing to
me Silindile ... You the most naive women I have
ever known all you good at is running away when
the tough get going did you think how this will
affect Zithelo ..?_"
She was crying and did not answer
Me : don't get me wrong I did what I did for my
child not for you you whoring around is non of my
business but I don't want my child to be labeled as
a daughter of whore that will scare her for years
just know that I'm cutting all ties with you fix you
self up and stay away from me and my baby "
" but Trey she's my daughter "
Me : you should have thought about that when
you were sleeping with man who makes sex tapes
in the very same house my daughter was sleeping
under he is pervet "
I closed my eyes just thinking the worse what if
Mpilo decided to hurt Zithelo...while Sli was
fucked up passed out

616 | P a g e
I should have never trusted Silindile with my
daughter the rage I have for this women eight
now I'm just glad I'm not next to her because God
know I would have lost it
Me : the problem with you is that you don't think
you love the title of being a victims fuck mam I
don't even know what I saw in you you disgusting
Silindile "
She continued to cry
Me : I'm taking full custody
of my daughter you will hear from my attorney "
Her : " please Trey no !"
Me : God gave you a second chance to be a
mother hope you try and do that right ...Good bye
Silindile "
I dropped the call and tossed it aside
Me putting Mpilo on the line had nothing to do
with how I feel about Sli which I feel nothing for
her but I have girl child what I saw made me hate
being a man a women violated and spread out
and showcase to the media is just sick to see that I
thought about how this will affect Zee and my
image the media will have put two and two
together and found out that Silindile is my baby
mama how was that going to look to my people

617 | P a g e
I'm multi milliner business man and any bad wrap
can affect my business I'm linked to Sli vie my
child but its best I cut those ties with her she has
caused me nothing but trouble and headache I'm
selfish for taking my daughter from her I don't
give a shit how people will label me but from now
on my family comes first . I looked Austin next to
me he was busy holding on to his nose with a
cloth filled with ice
I looked at him and clicked my tongue ...
The take over will brake Sli I know but that non of
my business .. Its business she should have paid
more attention to her business then whoring
around
Beside that what we do the Mnguni logistic
company buy out small company's and turn them
to money making machines its not personal but
just business she will get over it
Austin : did you have to punch me "
Me : did you have to lie to me ?"
I made my way to the pilot " how far are we on
landing "
" 10 min tops " he said
Me : Good "
I called Zee and she answered she was very chatty

618 | P a g e
as always I need to find the best school for her the
level intelligent in her scares me at times ...for her
age its just not normal .
after talking Zee i buckle up we finally landed in
Eastern cape .. Its time I took my wife back .

Chapter 61

Mvelo
I just landed in eastern cape me and Austin we
booked in some hotel . after taking a long
disserving shower I dressed up in my ripped jeans
rene lizard black and white T-shirt and white
airforce Snickers
Austin : so what your plan ? "
Me : I don't have any "
He laughed at me as set down
Him : I doubt she is seeing that guy "
Me : I don't know man I hurt her pretty bad "
Him : you are a cute guy not to forgive look at
how I just forgotten that you punch me few hours
back "

619 | P a g e
Me : Austin can you focus please ...I need your
help in this "
Him : ok ...ok so looking at Sbahle we know that
she is a culture girl and value the man in her life
...so to get to her you need to apologize to Mlondi
"
Me : what ?? fuck no ... He is going to bust my
balls "
Him : he must trust you to take Sbahle back you
are a good guy I know that Sbahle knows that but
his brothers not so much "
Me: so what do I say to him "
Him : your intentions with her little sister "
I ran my hands on my face now how on earth am I
suppose to do that ?"
Him : speak from the heart dude you an attorney
and have never lost a case so you got convincing
skills to your advantage"
Me : let me get going if I don't pic up my calls in
the next hour just know that he has just killed me
.
He chuckled as I walked out we ranted a car so
here I was driving to there place a million
thoughts were running trough my mind what do I
say what do I do but I was not backing down I

620 | P a g e
wanted my wife back maybe Austin was right I
need to gain trust from my in-laws for them to see
how worthy I am to be there daughter husband a
wise women by me saying a wise women I'm
referring to Pam she told me that
ing
" you need to honor you wife at all times she is
bringing value to your life not the other way
around never think by paying lobolo for her you
own her but always thank your in-laws for giving
you there most priceless jewelry " back than I had
no clue what she meant by that but when lookin
at it now I fully understand The word honor
means to show respect. It involves treating others
with kindness and dignity. So here i am I just
packed outside there yard debating in my head
what will this guy do to me I'm nervous and I feel
like peeing my self
" what the fuck are you doing here "
I swallows hard as the blood buffed guy stood in
front of me eyeing me up and down Whether you
are recently married and trying to set the right
tone or have spent years working to win over your
spouse's hand in
marriage getting your in-laws to like you is the

621 | P a g e
most hardest thing ever. I have spend four days
trying to speak with guy and every time he does
the craziest thing ever the first day i came here he
slammed the door on my face after shitting on me
and swearing me like his life dependent on it
I swallowed my pride and walked away
I came back the next day he was washing his car
with his hosepipe before I couldn't even open my
mouth I was already wet from head to toe the 3rd
time he pointed a gun on my face as if that was
not enough he fired the gun missing my head with
few inches
" next time I won't miss " he told me I must stop
testing him ...Build bridges of trust is not done in
one day I just need to be persistent and annoy
him to core till he finally gives in for him show
interest on what I really have to say .
so here I am its the fourth day and I'm holding my
breath I'm glad that all of this humiliation I get
from Mlondi Sbahle is not around to whiteness it
Speaking of Sbahle I have never seen her at all its
like she locks her self in that house whole day I
don't want to think the worse that she is
depressed but what if she is ?
Austin : what your plan this time " he asked as he

622 | P a g e
walked in my room
Me : to get killed "
He bust out and laughed
Me : I wish he could just hear me out bro "
Him : by showing that you not giving up proves to
him that you fight for what you want no matter
how arrogant he is towards you he can see that "
Me : dahm I hate that guy "
Him : its not about him ... Put your mind back in
the game don't get easily intimidated he is just a
dog with no teeth now "
Me : I don't know bro "
Him : First of all you just need to win his respect
by showing him respect you not fighting with him
but just trying to Put in extra effort to regain his
trust. Don't act like a victim here you the one that
broke Sbahle heart
You have done something to threaten the trust
between you and Sbahle and most specially her
brothers who play the role of being her father
they will always try by all means to protect there
little sister so show Mlondi that you are trying to
rebuild that trust . Keep in mind that this
relationship may be for life. Being standoffish or
dwelling on giving up will only leave you miserable

623 | P a g e
as well so make an effort to move forward and
regain his trust "_
Me : Mlondi is not budging"
Him : Truest me he is ...and he like the power he
has over you "_
I nodded after putting my wrist watch on I walked
out
Him ': just remember the easy part is getting
Mlondi on your side the hard part is yet to come
where you need to face Sbahle to regain her trust
by apologizing for your stupidity that caused the
break up asking her how you can make amends
addressing the behaviors that compromised your
relationship in the first place and assuring her
how you can avoid similar problems in the
future."
Me : I don't like you to much this days "
Him : its must last day in this fucked up place
anyway make use of my advise "
I nodded and walked out while waiting for the
elevator I was praying saying that God I know I
have done you child wrong but just give me a
second chance I almost fainted when the doors of
the elevator opened my heart skipped a million
beats and I thought I was going to pass out

624 | P a g e
Me : Mlondi "
He looked at me and frowned
Him: yah"
He pushed me aside and walked in front of me he
stood by my door and i took out the excess card
and opened
Him ; I don't have the whole day say what you
need to say because I need you leave when you
done "_
Austin walked in and looked at us he greeted
Mlondi who did not respond he turned and
walked back to his room shit this is going to be
tough
Him : khuluma ndoda "_
Me : first of all I want to say I'm Sorry "
He chuckled
Me : I love you sister Mlondi and i know i wronged
her I made her cry it hurt me more than it hurt
her ...
Him : bull shit !! Love means you never having to
say you’re sorry ....is that the reason why you
have been all up in my space you wanting to say
sorry "_
I looked him he was angry really angry
Me : look Love means a lot of things to a lot of

625 | P a g e
different people sure. But one thing nearly
everyone knows about it is that it gives you more
reason to apologize. Mistakes disagreements and
transgressions happen all the time especially
when two people are married and It’s essential to
apologize for mistake made I'm only doing this
with you because Sabantu and my wife value
culture...I'm sorry that you had to pick up her
broken heart after I have shatters it in million
pieces ...I'm sorry to brake the trust you had in me
to protect and love her while I went and did the
opposite "
Him : don't be smart with me Mnguni you were
gone for what 10 months not even once you
called her to apologizing she was broken you
chose another women and left my sister like used
tissue ..why now ?"
Me : I know that Sbahle would have not taken me
back or even headed me out if I came when her
wounds were still fresh "
Him : you wait till she ok and you come to turn
her life upside down again "
Me : I love her !!"
Him : Yazi wena I shouldn't be here because
Ngizokubulala for real ... When did you realize you

626 | P a g e
love her after or before that whore you call a baby
mama did a sex tape with another man "
Me : I don't give a shit about that !!"
Him :....I should be making my fist do the talking
because you talking shit ain't you the one that
was going back and fourth to that women "
Me : it was not like that ! ... Mlondi I'm not here
to talk about that women to you ...ngize Lana to
tell you that I want my wife back !!!"
Him : you left her ....
and its making me more angry that she went
trough that pain over and over again with you she
loved you damit ... !"
Tension were rising he was shouting I was
shouting
Me: look Mlondi i screwed up and — whether
accidentally or on purpose fact remains i hurt the
person i love. Hell even if i convinced myself that
she is too good for me and I need to let her go I
can't because believe it or not I'm in love with
your sister too ... I know my
flippant “I’m sorries” will not make everything
o'right over night but I'm willing to take any blow
to win her back so take your best shot !!"
Him : what did you do ?"_ actually what happen

627 | P a g e
because Sbahle just cries when I ask her "
He walked up to me and grabbed me by my T-
shirt he looked me straight in the eye
Him : did you cheat on her ?"
He asked grinding his teeth
Me : no never !! " I pushed him off " I went about
to doing the right thing the wrong way fuck I can
kick myself right now "
I told him everything leaving out the part about
my ancestor and demons
Me : I didn’t tell her right away because I was
afraid to. I didn’t want to hurt her and I didn’t
want to lose our marriage. But eventually that
guilt just eats away at me and i had no choice but
to come clean. I love my wife and I told her that
when I apologized but it didn’t matter. The
damage was done and the trust was broken. I’ve
avoided compromising situations like that ever
since so I kept my distance from my baby mama
and my child . But apologizing for that life-altering
fuck-up was easily the scariest most difficult thing
I’ve ever had to do ... I just wish I was not a
coward to let her walk out on me ...I just need her
to give me one more chance "
He looked at me for a long time and he finally set

628 | P a g e
down
Him ; how do you plan on doing that "
I stood there like a wet dog and finally getherd
enough courage to say " I need your help "
He laughed so hard
Him : I ain't doing shit uyezwa "_
well that a first the talk went well he did not lay
his hand on me its a good sign right so now let me
try convincing him why I need him
.
.
Sbahle ***
I looked at my ringing phone and I frowned
Guys are sort of weird. This doesn’t apply to all of
them obviously so let’s save the #notallmen for
another time but many guys out there just go wild
for you after you say you’re not interested or put
a distance between the relationship. As soon as
you say that you don’t really want to go out with
them they suddenly decide you’re the woman of
their dreams and they just have to have you.
What does he think he is vele ? I'm not even close
to being his type yes Zuko is a good guy but that
all he will be to me Just another Good guy I have
spend 5 day in my house working on my piece

629 | P a g e
Mlondi believes I'm hiding but I'm just not up to
seeing the world and also avoiding on bumping
into Zuko I rather stay indoors and focus on my
paintings than pretend I like person when I clearly
don't .
I finished my third sketch and im loving my work I
had to used dark chalk for it to come alive I smiled
looking at it my phone ringed again and I got
really pissed
Me : Zuko !"
Him : wow !"
I sigh " sorry "
Him : did I perhaps do something wrong"
Me : no ...I'm just not feeling well "
Him : I figured that one out you not picking up my
calls and I was worried i"
Me : I got flu and took some really heavy
medication ..." I lied how I wish he can get the
signs that he annoyed me now
Him : ooh I should come check up on you but you
know your brother showed me flames last time I
was there "
So the day that Zuko and we suppose to go for
breakfast which was 5 days ago Mlondi welcome
him in our house while he was busy polishing his

630 | P a g e
gun if that was not a warning to run I don't know
what else could be since that day I have been
avoiding him like a plague
Him :can I at least buy you lunch I can even come
deliver it to your personally "
Me : No! I mean I don't know Zuko I don't want to
piss my brother off "
Him : I know you not feeling well so it the least I
could do ..."
.... I'm hungry no doubt
Me : maybe we can meet out "
Him : is that a yes I hear "
Me : we can meet in M & B in 15 min times "
Him : sure I'm already going there " the soon I cut
ties with him the better this guy is way to forward
I just agreed to this lunch to tell him that I'm not
interested in him I hope he will not be one of
those guys that don't know how to take rejection
You’ve met one of those guys I mean we all have.
A guy that genuinely believes he’s a gift to women
but he’s so enamored with himself that there isn’t
exactly room for another person in the
relationship. Telling him you’re not interested in
him makes him doubt himself his charm his
appeal and the way he views himself. He just can’t

631 | P a g e
have that... I hope his different because I can't
deal with drama
I dropped the call minutes later and made my to
my room took a quick bath I jumped into my
skinny jean crop T-shirt and push in I looked at my
wedding ring have not put this in my finger for
three months now maybe this will show him that
I'm still someone's wife. fuck now I need to drive
to point God I'm dreading this
.
.
Mvelo ***
Convincing Mlondi to help me was the most
hardest thing I had to do we spend hours going
back and fourth it was so tiring
Me : dude you forget that I'm talking about my
wife here this is not about you ... Me talking to
you right now is to show how much I respect you
as her brother ... Can I just go and convince my
wife that I will never hurt her she the one that
need this sorry then you "
" you got an hour to talk to her you got food in
this place ?" he said standing up and making his
was to the kitchen
I smiled and took my car keys

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Me : talk to Austin ... Thank you you won't regret
this I promise "
Him : I know because you won't leave to tell your
tail next time "
Me : thank you "
Him : you lucky because my sister loves your
stupid ass "
That confirmed that I have chance with her
I ran out I was floating on a ball of nerves driving
to Sbahle house I was not sure what I was going to
say or do but I know when I see her face I will find
my voice I was busy trying to change music on my
phone that connected via Bluetooth to my stereo
my head was buzzing with all sort of emotions
when I looked up I saw a white vw polo pass by
with loud music blasting Zonke - Viva I smiled
thinking about Sbahle and like a dream she passed
me by on the road singing along to her tunes she
did not even notice me I felt time stop for second
wow she more beautiful now she did not even
notice me
well how can she when she does not even know
that I'm even here i took the most unexpected U-
turn almost causing an accident driving after her.
.

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Chapter 62

Sbahle
Have you ever felt like the person you least expect
to see is just looking at you and waiting for you to
turn around and say 'hi' today I saw a man that
looks like my Mvelo I would say look like because
I'm asking my self why would he be doing here I
would have took time to look at him but the
traffic light turned green and I speed off could it
be him ? But how would he know where I am ?
Yet again we talking about Mvelo here .
" are you ok Sbahle " he touched my arm and I
smiled nodding
Lunch was really awkward he will talk and I will
fake a smile and give him one word answer my
mind was every where but with this man before
me it kept on going back to what Didy said :
One of this days I will find Mvelo on my door step
what would I do
There is no day I have not think about that what
will i say ? How will i react?...will i run to his arms?
will I smack him? will I take him back ? Will I be
able to walk away form the only man I ever told I
love you too.

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I looked at the man before me who has gave me
another reason to smile I have started to miss
Mvelo less let's just say some other days are
better then others.
I'm simply living my life …doing things i love and
just not look forward to Mvelo's return of which I
doubt that will ever happen you know life is less
stressful
when you do other things then just crying and
sinking into to depression this days i just got lost
in the time …i forget the time ..cos I'm in the
moment …so time flies without warring about
what tomorrow will bring .
My brake up was hard and I keep asking myself
what's the use of holding on to the love that is
Gone but inhliziyo ayiphakelwa
I shook my head trying to brush off could have
would have thought because there were not
getting me any where .
Zuko : and that look?"
Me : did I ever thank you for allowing me to see
what was missing in my life "
I ignored his question and changed the subject
Him : all the time princess ...all the time "
He chuckled and I hit his shoulder

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Me : I keep telling you that stop calling me that "
Him : its you tittle njenake " damn no matter how
hard I try to block Mvelo from my mind people
will always say stuff to remind me of him I looked
down and looked at my ring
Me : it was " I bit my lower lip
Zuku : wow you wearing your ring ?" He sounds
disappointed
I looked at him and at my ring
Me : ya " I shrunk my shoulders as he frowned
Zuko : I don't understand "
I set back and looked at him
Me : why ?"
Him : maybe I read what we have the wrong way "
I looked at him waiting for him to go into details
Him : the months I spend with you I have
Look pass you status and I really like what I saw I
know our relationship was just based in love of art
but I have developed some genuine feeling for
you "
Me : feelings ??"
Him : yes romantic feelings for you "
Me : I'm married Zuko !"
Him : Sbahle come on you have been leaving here
for almost a year there has not been a sign of your

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husband which clearly indicates that you no
longer in a relationship with him "
Me : wow what will give you that idea ?"
I have never confided in no one about my fall out
relationship with Mvelo besides Didy the nerve of
this guy to think he has figured me out so what if
Mvelo broke my heart that will not change the
fact that I still love him." Yeh i know its a bit
embarrassing and confusing but it is what it is
Everyone around me is most likely telling me that
loving a man who hurt you that much is foolish.
They think i should just forget about him and
move on the nerve of this guy to think he has
figured me out so what if Mvelo broke my heart
that will not change the fact that I still love him."
Yeh i know its a bit embarrassing and confusing
but it is what it is
Everyone around me is most likely telling me that
loving a man who hurt you that much is foolish.
They think i should just forget about him and
move on right? I'm sorry but i don't know how to
do that. It's no wonder. Love isn't something you
can just turn off like a water faucet. He's my guy
and everyone makes mistakes i know deep inside
my heart that he didn't mean to hurt me as much

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as he did.
So people must not think they untitled to be with
me I still have hope of Getting him back and
getting past the issues that tore us apart if it will
be possible i just have to know how to get from
here to there... But only God knows my fate with
him .
Me : look what ever you have concluded to about
my relationship and my husband its not true ...I'm
still much in love with him and I'm sorry if I lead
you on or gave you the wrong idea about our
friendship "_
Him : don't tell me you don't feel what I feel for
you "
Me : Zuko this conversation is becoming very
inappropriate now ...maybe I should leave "
Him : Sbahle please ...." He held my hand
Him : just because you still in love with him
doesn't mean you should stay in loveless
relationship
It's not easy to forget someone whom you once
loved I know that It takes lot of time. Weeks
months or even years. All you have to do is be
patient. Look I'm not rushing you to fall in love
with me all I'm asking is for you to give me a

638 | P a g e
chance "_
I shook my head no
" wow this is cozy "
I looked at the ghost of man standing by our table
I pulled my hand away from Zuko my heart was
beating out of my throat
Mvelo : hello beautiful " I looked at him he was
mad his hair was let loose and he looked to casual
and thug like today
Mvelo : may I sit please so that you will introduce
me to your friend "
I scoot over and made space for him seconds layer
his tongue was down my throat
Him : I missed you "_he said pulling out and
kissing my nose I was still coming back from the
high of that intense kiss
Mvelo : so who are you ? "
I felt so small under his arm he smell good and my
body reacted some kind of a way to his touch
Zuko chuckled and shook his head
he seat back and folded his arms
Zuko : just an ordinary guy who saw a lowly
beautiful girl in need of my company "
I shoot my eyes open at Zuko how could he talk
about as if I'm some sort of his damsel in distress

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Mvelo : lonely you say ? So this ring on her hand
was just a decoration "
Zuko : well we have been going out for months
and its only today she decided to decorate her
hand "
Me : Zuko !"
Mvelo: ooh is that so Mkami ?"
Me :Mvelo ..." He placed a ginger on my mouth
Him : shuuuu my love will talk home when I'm on
top of you right now let the man talk " he kissed
me and looked at Zuko who looked like a mad dog
now
Him :now I understand that sad story in your eyes
not all man are like him Sbahle you got married
when you were very young its a such a pity you
chose him ... "
I tried standing up but Mvelo held me down I tried
to open my mouth and he gave me that look
made me submissive towards him I looked down
Mvelo : wow that cliché pick up line don't you
think ? so you can't get my wife and now you
blaming me for your failed attempt ?"
Zuku stood up I don't know when or how but
Mvelo punched him and he fell back down his
seat it was in a speed of lighting I help my mouth

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eyes were on us now What is Mvelo doing
Mvelo : I'm still talking ... Now let's talk about why
you making moves on my wife while you know
pretty well that she is married to me "
Zuko mouth was bleeding he tried to narrow his
eyebrows but Mvelo said" nciii.... Cu ....cu ... Don't
start something you won't finish ... We talking
now "
Me : Mvelo ...please you making a Seen can we go
please "
Zuku : let him make seen let's see how perfect is
this king is now ... "
Mvelo : scream all you like and tell the whole
world I really do not give a shit ... As long as you
will tell me why do you have guts to hold hands of
royalty"
Zuko : I don't ow you any explanation "
Mvelo : in that case might as well say your peace
to my wife it will be least you could do that why
you have this lunch right... To tell her how you can
male her bed rock "
Me : Mvelo!"
Mvelo :Don't Mvelo me you going on dates with
boy that below your standard we might as well
stood to there level! "

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Mvelo just undermined Zuko and that alone
pissed me off
Zuko : I'm no king no milliner not perfect at all but
should have gotten a chance to be with her i
would have been twice the man you are to her "
Me : what ? ..."
Mvelo grabbed on to my thigh he was mad I kep
on rubbing his hand under the table held my hand
squeezed it in fact
.."
Zuko : so when the going get tough and you sick
and tired of playing the role of his Queen you
know my number ...my shoulder is always there
for you to cry..."
He did not allow him to finish boom another
punch ...
Him : if I see you even smell you close to her ...
You better run because I love to chase and when I
find you your family will find you in pieces !"
I was not sure if he unconscious or what he was
just laying there lifeless
Me : ooh my God his not moving "
Mvelo dragged me by my hand
" wake him up with ice cold water " he said to the
manager as we walked out

642 | P a g e
He literally shoved me in his car no word were
said until a door of his hotel room was shut closed
it was so loud I thought it was going brake down
he was walking up and down not even looking at
me
Him : what the fuck was that Sbahle !! "
.
.
To be continued

Chapter 63

Sbahle ***
" what gotten in to out ?"
I placed my hands on my waist and looked up at
him
Him : so you blaming me?"
Me : you punched a guy and left him there what if
his unconscious or a concussion or something? "
He laughed
Him : so you worried about that guy did you hear
what shit he said about me about you ??"
I huffed and walked away from him I need water

643 | P a g e
Him : you going around talking about what
happening in our relationship now "
I ignored him he was spitting fire I can not speak
to him when his like this
Him : Sbahle you walking around showcasing that
you single by not wearing your ring ... You fuckin
married women "
He banged the kitchen counter making me drop
my water bottle
Him : are you forgetting that you are Mnguni ? ...
That your family gave you away to me "
He was banging on his chest
Him : I give you time to cool off and I found you in
the arms of another man ... Damit Sbahle ... Didn't
I mean anything to you ? "
Me ; this is not about you Mvelo your behaviour
was out of line .... I'm your women you talk to me
no going around attacking people that have
showed interest in me"
Him : out of line ... You entertaining other guys is
something I just need to be ok with "
Me : you bloody left me ... You chose her over me
... So what was i suppose to do Wait for you till
when ?"
Him : you my wife Sbhahle !!"

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Me : when it suits you I'm tired Mvelo you coming
in and out of my life like you own me the shit you
did there was barbaric and stupid did you think
before your hands landed on his face he may
press charges against you and this alone will taint
not only my name your bloody name as well "
Him : I don't give a shit about that ... I will kill for
you Sbahle yezwa ... That how crazy my love is for
you nothing on this world matters uyezwa ?"_
His eyes were red he was scaring me
Him : so what the bloody hell were you doing with
him !!'_
Ooh my god I have never seen Mvelo this mad
Me : we meet few months back and his been
helping with my art project that I'm currently
doing '
Him : are you in love with him ?"
Me : stop yelling at me !!"
Him : just answer me !!!" He roared
Me : NO!!... No I'm not ! " my voice was braking I
sank down on the coach
He turned the air corn on and rested his head on
the wall before turning to face me
I recognized this face now but I was just to
emotional to look at him Mvelo never raised his

645 | P a g e
voice at me never and today I saw the animal in
him resurfacing and I did not like it he set on the
coffee table facing me I just placed my hands on
my face
Me:. That guy you almost killed was there for me
during the hardest time in my life ... Wena
ubukuphi ?... "
I felt his eyes burning my skin i looked at him
Him : the last thing I need is to hear you talking
about him right now "
I was really getting mad Mvelo is more worried
about Zuko instead of talking about what is his
doing here
Me : ufunani LA "
Him : I came for you ...Sbahle I miss you my life is
empty without you i can not turn back the hands
of time and change how I acted back then but the
thought of another man holding you making you
smile drove me crazy I can never live with that "_
Me : you don't get to be crazy when you the one
that did not see my worth '
Him : baby I made a mistake I was sure what I was
doing was right then but looking at it now i did
not consider your feeling in all of this "
Me : I told you about this I cried for you not to

646 | P a g e
leave me but you decided to leave me so you can
try and fix her ... Leaving me broken " he tried
holding my hand but I pulled away from his grip
and
walked past him I was mad but not as how sad i
was feeling. Its like
My sadness and I are now good friends. So are me
and anger. And grief and joy and all of them. My
emotions are all welcome at my proverbial dinner
table… and I couldn’t be happier about it all
because its because of him i can’t selectively
numb my feelings when it comes to him If I try
and put a lid on my sadness or grief then it will
also mean I'm also putting a ceiling on my ability
to feel joy I look at him and I feel like running to
him and saying all is forgotten but I'm scared to
be burn by him again I just got my life back on
track and he makes his grand entrance
disregarding on what happened between us why
I'm here and why was he there ? why now ? Why
is he claiming and confusing his feeling for me
Him : you were hurting and seeing me would have
made you hate me if I came back for you then ...
Sbahle baby listen I'm an ass a big one in fact I
made lot of foolish mistakes but the biggest one

647 | P a g e
was allowing your brother to take you away from
me "
Me : I here you talking not once have I heard you
say you sorry for being dishonest with me for
weeks Mvelo you went out there and did
something on the side with her you broke me and
when I'm finally restore you come back to tell me
that you want me back "
Him : baby I never touch Silindile I swear on my
sister grave I realized that hell come may if I lost
you what the point of helping a person who was
not willing to be helped I move back to UK I
leaked my wounds and told my self when time is
right I will come back for you "
Me : I can not allow you to brake me again love is
not suppose to hurt like this Mvelo if this is how
you love then I don't need your love "
Him :please don't say that Hle-hle ngiyaxolisa
Sithandwa sami ... Please don't leave me again my
heart can't take that .. please tell me what to do
to fix us I will do it "
Me ; Let me explain to you what it feels like to be
told you are perfect in every way and will always
be taken care of. Let me convey the emotions that
rip through a young woman like myself when she

648 | P a g e
is convinced she is someone’s forever. Let me
express the hope and loyalty that is instilled inside
of a girl who built up wall after wall only to feel as
though they were peacefully torn down by a man
who pulled her deeply into his love. I cannot
formulate those emotions into words the same
way I cannot describe the way it felt to have you
rip that all to pieces."
I felt him touch my shoulders he pulled me to
place my head on his chest hugging me from
behind has always made me have that feeling that
his hot my back but after what happens how do I
trust him
Him : I love you Sbahle only you complete me "
Me : want you to know that I loved you I most
probably still do . I loved you through every
emotional part of the roller coaster you have
brought into my life. I loved you on the days that
you were pleasant and kind and also the days you
were unrecognizable to me. I loved you through
changing circumstance and the rapid movement
of time. I even loved you when you decided that
you didn’t love me anymore. I think a part of me
still loves you while I sit here in the darkness face
hot with tears and disillusionment. But what I

649 | P a g e
want you to know most is that I still love myself
and I don't trust you with my heart any more "
He turned me around to look at him he was crying
not wailing but the tears were gushing out
uncontrollable I have seen Mvelo cry twice ever
since I meet him he cried when we found out
about Pam's passing and the night when I told him
I'm leaving him and this is the third time
Having been raised in a society where I have been
taught from a young age that simply: girls cry
Having been raised in a society where I have been
taught from a young age that simply: girls cry and
boys don’t. At first I haven’t quite known how to
be there for him in those moments. It’s heart
breaking. I have always felt deeply and had big
emotions which I have definitely sub-consciously
associated with being a woman To see my partner
break down and cry has always been a reminder
that he feels just as deep as I do the Compassion
Beauty Love An almost instant removal of all story
past present future ..an instant removal of any
barriers or blockages I had been holding over my
heart … an instant removal of talking or needing
to prove or judging … it was replaced by softening
of my heart that beat in one with his

650 | P a g e
Him : you are my world and I don't know if I will
survive without you by my side I wronged you
Sbahle not once not twice but many times but still
at the end I chose you no you chose me you never
left my side you were a mother to my kids a wife
in my house a friend a Queen and my adviser
you have turned me into a man a softy and today I
realized that I can even kill for you ... Baby you
have turned me a husband a father a head of the
family and a grate king All I'm asking is for you to
give me a chance to love you without the title of
my Land or me being a father to Zithelo I want to
spend time to connect with you as man and
women where only us exist and to show you how
much you mean to me ...I love you Mabhengu and
when you hurt I hurt too that how deep our love
is "
My wish is to close this space between us i want
to feel his arms around me im crying his crying his
wiping my tears I'm doing that to him to He
talking real dip shit that's allowing our souls to
connect.
To show my partner it is safe for him to express
the depths of his sadness when it needs to come
out i pull him to a hug In no way does he appear

651 | P a g e
“less of a man” or weak to me right now its
showing me that not only does he trust me with
his heart but that he also trusts in himself as a
man to show his emotions. Men who break free
of their conditioning to not cry are the furthest
thing from weak they are courageous.
Him : please say something " shit I should be
angry but I feel like he has taken that from me
with his teas
Him : I'm truly sorry please allow me to love you
allow me to make you happy give me chance to
prove to you that I'm still the mam you fell in love
with ..."
I nodded I found his lips on mine and he took me
to the first time he taught me how to kiss
Him : I miss you so much "
I smiled as I pulled him with his hair to deepen the
kiss I don't know how but i found my self on his
bed my heat was beating out of my throat now I
have heard of stories about make up sex my mind
wonder if we about to do this now why does my
head always scream sex when his on top of me
Him: hay ...I rather stop what I'm doing if you
going to continue in having a conversations in
your head instead of being here with me "

652 | P a g e
His eyes were half opened he was only in his jeans
so was I ok what happened to our tops
Him : relax ... Dahm I missed you so much " he
flipped me over i was on top of him he Pull me to
his lips while we kiss he kissed me so tenderly. I
felt my blood heating up I love the way his lips
mold perfectly with mine. He thread his fingers
into my hair and pull me closer to him. He set up
straight with me sitting on top of his beast that
was making my lady parts dance to it beat
Him : i want to kiss you and I want to hold you
tight and never ever let you go trough out the
days of my life "
How do I even begin to express these feelings that
I have in my heart for him right now he trail his
lips down my jaw and over my neck.
Me : ummmm"
Him : will you mess up my bed with me tonight "
he whisper in my ear i didn't know what he meat
by that I was far gone with what his hands were
doing to my nipples that my moans were getting
louder
That will leave a mark oh God his sucking and
licking and driving me crazy
Him : I want to worship how perfect you are. I'll

653 | P a g e
help you slide out jeans so i can get to kiss your
inner thighs"
His too talkative today God just take them off I
just want to feel his skin on mine he stopped and
looked at me
Him: Hle -hle I will be damned if you thinking
about another guy in my bed " ok when did we
switch position
Me : babe just take my jeans off you the only man
on my mind always " he smiled
.
.
To be continued

Chapter 64

Sbahle ***
Me and Mvelo never got too close like we are
today i blame it on the fact that we basically lived
in a family house there is just too much going on
in Royal house the house is always busy the maids
the kids His grandmother his uncle endless
visitor's yoo its like a zoo and no privacy at all.
Any way besides that he has not been mentally

654 | P a g e
emotionally stable himself a lot was going in his
life the day I married him there was death in the
family we all had to grieving after that there was
baby mama drama where we just slept on the
same bed facing opposite direction after that it
was his calling work and fuck up part is that we
live in the Royal house royal duties needed his
attention I on the other hand just took the role of
being a housewife looking out for everyone that I
sometime forgot that his my husband and he
needed me more .
But today we we all alone and we had no one but
our self was I ready for sex ? no ... But I love him
and I want my first time to be with him
Him : are you sure this is your size " he struggled
getting my jeans off I'm a curvy girl and the
struggle is real putting this jeans on even worse
when taking them off.
Within the next few minutes I was lying on his bed
with only my red sport bra matching boy leg panty
he looked at me for the longest time like a long
time before saying
" damn you hot and sexy " I blushed and held my
face he made his way on top of me He kept the
same pace from earlier slowly almost teasing like

655 | P a g e
there was no rush his fingertips tracing my skin
from my neck to my breasts to my hipbones
raising a winding trail of goosebumps on each
newly exposed swath of flesh. I was comfortable
enough to look at him strip and was left with his
Ck underwear but hesitated to keep going
He murmured nonsense words to me calmed my
nerves and had me lie back while he started to
kiss a steady path from my ankles upwards. He
lingered on my calves nuzzled my inner thighs
planted open-mouthed kisses on my belly to the
fabric covering my nipples
Him : I'm going to take this off ok "
Like a lost puppy I nodded he is such an expect in
this because while he was still kissing me his other
hand massaging my hair his one had had manage
to unbuckle my bra and take it off again he looked
at my small pocky Brest I'm just a size 34b he
enjoy cupping them on his hands he will let out
growl sound Slowly he moved down my body
kissing me everywhere my neck my breasts my
stomach. He was dangerously close to my lady
parts when I stopped him.
Me : ‘What are you doing?’ I asked.
Him : ‘Trust me and relax’

656 | P a g e
was all he replied careful not to spook me too
quickly or suddenly. He hovered over mouthing
me through the fabric yes Sbahle relax I told my
self but That was so difficult to do with him down
there!
Him : babe may I take them off ? "
My mind was screaming no you just got back with
him today but the whore in me was saying his so
hot you can't stay a virgin forever I guest I nodded
because he was gently removing it i was
completely naked! There was no time to feel shy
about it because of all the action that was
happening.
He slowly parted my legs and i held my breath
He kissed my inner thighs and as soon as he did
that I started giggling and squirming
uncontrollably. Oh did I mention that I’m
extremely ticklish?
Him : Why are you moving so much? Stay still!" ’
he ordered.
Me : ‘I can’t it tickles! Stop baby please?’ I said
breathlessly. He looked at me and side smile
‘him : This is going to be fun "he laughed and
kissed me on the stomach. What happened next
was in a word crazy! He held me down with a

657 | P a g e
hand on my stomach and the next thing I felt was
his lips...right there in that place of what my
underwear was hiding he looked at me for a while
before his hot breath hit on my clit his hands trace
my vj and I flinch as he try to enter it
Him : good girl you waited "
I set up straight to look at him I was about to give
him a piss of my mind his wet lip and tongue
played there it felt like he was writing the
alphabet with his tongue. And it worked because I
finally reached the Big O. it felt like a bunch of
little bombs were going off down there..
Me : ooh my God !!!!" he placed his lips over my
clit and licked because I finally reached the Big O.
it felt like a bunch of little bombs were going off
down there..
Me : ooh my God !!!!" he placed his lips over my
clit and licked I jerked at that first extraordinary
sensation of having someone go down on me the
heat the wetness the physical rush that comes
from watching someone want you this much and
the utter shock that this was happening at all.
Me: Mvelo ...what are you doing to mmmmmme
e. Haaaa?!"
Him : you taste so Good '

658 | P a g e
I grabbing onto his hair my eyes squeezed shut.
Me :ooooooh Mvelo... Please I need to peee "
Him : yes come for me "
His finger and lip were playing a piano on my
Nana ... I felt like crying I felt this wave coming
and I was screaming like crazy he was not having
mercy on me
oh my God the sensation was out of the world!
His mouth was doing things that were making me
feel weak in the knees. Within minutes I was over
the edge! I felt like I need to pee until one big
glorious one set off.
Him : come for me hle- hle ' his voice alone was
just making me scream and moan didn't know
what to do with my self It feels like I'm in a roller
coaster and I'm finally at the top and then that
feeling of stomach drop.
Him : come for me ....let it go ..."
And just like a waterfall bursting over a cliff I
screamed letting go this intense pressure i
eventually released it and it feels so incredible
This smooth release It feels like a cleansing almost
like the warm feeling I get after taking a few deep
breaths
When I came back down he was looking at me

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smiling. Since it was my first orgasm ever I did not
know what to expect or that it would be so damn
good!
Him : hi!" He kissed me and I tasted my juices in
his lips he did not initiate sex but just looked at
me with that smile on his face my mind came back
to it seances I'm really wet down there
Me : I'm so wet "
Him : i just made you Squirt"
Me : you made me do what ? "
Him : well my love squirting is Otherwise known
as female ejaculate it’s the liquid that sometimes
comes out of your body during and/or post-
orgasm. For some women it may happen every
time they experience an O—but for others it may
never happen at all. So I mustered to touch you G-
Spot and you my love have made me the the
happiest man in the world"
Me : by wetting myself ? "
Him : trust me a handful of mam can muster this
ability "
Me : what are you trying to say about your sex life
"
He ran his hands on his hair
Him : aah ... I love you ... And nop im not going to

660 | P a g e
talk about that with you " i frowned
He kissed me again and stood up " I'll run you a
bath " while he disappeared to the bathroom I
jumped off the bed took his gown and put it on I
then looked at the bed it was wet I held my
mouth I felt Mvelo hugged me from behind
Him : its normal babe stop stressing woza so geza
"
Me : we ?"
Him : just come we saving water " he held my
hand and it was just a bubble bath prepared he
took of his briefs I gasped as he laughed he
jumped into the tub
Him : woza " I was afraid of the anaconda under
water
Him : Sbahle I'm not going to make love to you
tonight "
Me : you won't ?" I frowned
Him : just get in the water women "_
We didn’t do anything else I just set in between
his legs in the bathtub as he ran his a sponge on
my body it felt so good it was my first time with
him naked and his penis scared the shit out of me
when I asked him when we having sex
Him : if I have sex with you you might end up in

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hospital so the right word is making love ... " ooh
well he still want to treat me like an egg we
catches up about our 9 months apart i told him
what I was doing over the 9 months of separation
he told me about work and his knee that Mlondi
busted
Me : why you didn't fight him back "
Him : his my brother in-law so by me taking the
blows and not fighting back was a sign of respect I
have for you and your family "
he kissed my cheek
Me : I'm sorry "
Him : don't stress about it I needed a wake up call
any way "
We left the tub when the water was getting cold
Him : you spending the night ?"
I nodded he hugged me and we called Mlondi told
him that I'm with Mvelo and spending the night I
also told him that I left his car at m&b he told me
he will send someone to fetch it we moved to the
other bedroom Mvelo said Austin was using it and
left today for work we ordered food and ate over
mouth full conversations
Mvelo makes me laugh so much and I love the
fact that his not trying so hard to win me over you

662 | P a g e
know when you know that I'm his person and his
mine we just picked up from where we left off we
just locked ourself on our bubble and the things
he does to my body father lord .
night came so fast we cuddle in bed talked till he
fell I asleep his body heat was making me sweat
on the covers so I didn’t get much sleep. When
the sun came up I woke up in the arms of the
most hottest man I have ever seen he looked so
cute that I just looked at him with his perfect
beard pink lips perfect bone structure his
complexion.. this right here is Gods good creation
I kissed him and he pulled me close to him
Me : I need to we we "
Him; you spend and hour looking at me and its
only now you realize you need to use the
bathroom "
Me : what ? "
he kissed my forehead .." Mmm I see you "
I laughed untangle my self from him and made my
way to the bathroom I stopped and looked at my
self in the mirror and smiled reliving yesterday
event a tear dropped from my eyes I just cried my
first tears of Joy
.To be continued*

663 | P a g e
Chapter 65

Few days later

Sbahle ****
Me and Mvelo are going strong the love we share
is magical the things he said to me the pillow talk
the future we plan ooh god I love this mam to be
honest we never left the room ever since I got
here and we never got bored with each other its
like we relighting the old flame of our relationship
and ooh God it feels so good he has gone down
on me numerous time and every time I lose my
self in it if his lips can give me such pleasure I
wonder what will the real thing will do to me this
morning we took a shower for the first time
together I'm a ball of Nevers his tall I'm shot his
buffed up big I'm just tiny he is kissing me driving
me crazy as our naked body collide together he
run the shower jell on my body and massaged it
ooh Lord his taking his time with me and I'm
loving every moment he washed my body and I
washed his his hard his veins are popping his shaf
this right here is the real BBC ( big black cock)
Me : may I touch you ". I had to ask he side smile

664 | P a g e
he took my hand and instructed me to move it up
and down he made me feel his balls this was my
first time touching him I like what see his reaction
to my touch was priceless
Him :aaaah ...." He moaned I guess I'm doing it
right Oral sex is an integral part of our sexual life
right now Mvelo is a sexually active persons I
need to please him the best way I can I know he
enjoy giving oral pleasure and to be honest i enjoy
receiving it But he told me its not an obligation to
give it to him but his my partner and the way he
acting right now I'm enjoying it his pulling my hair
his roughly kissing me his moaning very loud till
he stopped
Him : I need for you to scream my name "
he kissed my hips and asked if he could go down
on me how can i say no to that he slid to his knees
Never thought that he meant it literally scream
fuck his good the neighbors must really know his
name now I was screaming with both of my legs in
the air his face buried on my Nana is he trying to
kill me and I had the pleasure of watching him
suck on the hood of my clit and look at him giving
himself a hand job as the water drenched him he
looked so sexy He watched me back we

665 | P a g e
connected in the most sensual way I have ever
know I'm no expect in sex and I don't know what I
need to do with his gigantic dick but looking at
him go I'm saving to do that to him next time
Him : fuck baby yes ! "
Me : ooh my God Mvelo... Ooh ...." we finally
climaxed the same time
I collapsed down he was breathing heavily so was
I this was amazing
Him: fuck my kids " he said cleaning himself up
and cleaning me too
Me : I still think you won't fit.... " my legs were
were open and he was still kneeling between my
legs
Him : I will ask you when I'm inside of you to
repeat those words " he kissed me picked me up
bridal style and placed me on our bed he gave me
one of his T-shirt
Him : you hungry ?" I nodded he took his phone
and ordered in
He asked jumping on his sweat pants I was only
on his T-shirt and underwear he climb to the bed
and looked at me
Him : I miss you're cooking " I smiled
Me : you hair is wet " I took a towel and dried it

666 | P a g e
Him :i need to go back to the UK"
I dropped a smile
Him : sengenzeni "
Me : you leaving me again !!"
Him : Sbahle !"
I looked down " I'm sorry "
Him : I told you you must come with me ... Course
I'm not leaving you in this place with fuck boy
around "
Me : can you just trust me please I got my art
project that I'm already doing "
Him : Sbahle "
Me ; it not cool that I need to leave my life to
follow you "
He turned around and looked at me " Sibahle
Ntombikayise Bhengu ...Ngiyindoda yakho
...where I go you go and you know damn well that
if the table were turned I would have done the
same for you ngikhoma I will support your career
your art but I can not do that while we miles apart
" I pulled me to his arms
I nodded as he placed his forehead on mine his
phone ringed it was written Koko he took it kissed
my lips and answers
" phofukazi " he chuckled

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...
Him: I understand "
...
Him : tomorrow I promised "
...
Him : I'm sorry ...ok... " he looked at me and
smiled " I will tell her ... Bye koko ..."
The day was spend lazing around he didn't want
to go out I didn't want too as well we watched a
movie talked about us leaving here the idea look
ok and I'm too clingy on him to let him go on his
own he was on his phone and I was watching TV
as much as I want to focus I couldn't with his
hands on my Brest It was sending a massage to
my Vj and I hated the feeling of it twitching like
that
Me : are you intentionally making me horny "
Him : I can't keep my hands away from you sorry
...am I making you feel uncomfortable "
I shook my head and he smiled
I have read some where that man love it when
women go down on them so here we are right
now I'm on his T-shirt and he seating next to me
with only his sweat pants on my head on his lap i
look at him and his hands brush my exposed

668 | P a g e
thighs while his other hand was on his phone "
work " I presumed
Me : Mnguni "
Him : mmmm"
Ok how do I say this without looking immature
Me : you know that I love you right "
He dropped his eyes and looked at me and kissing
my lips in the process
Him : I know Sthandwa sami "
I bit my lip
Me : you know how you take me to cloud night
when you pleasure me "
He raised his left eyebrow
Him : where you going with this "
By this time his hand was already rubbing on my
lady parts and I was loosing focus so I decided to
sit on top of him i wrapped my hands around his
neck and looked at him in the eye
Him : you so beautiful "
Me : I want to do the same to you "
We spoke at the same time
Him : what !!!"
Me : I want to pleasure you ..."
He laughed " how ?"
Me : well I read somewhere that guys enjoy it

669 | P a g e
when girls go down on them you know like you do
to me "
He laughed and shook his head
Him : No Sbahle ... Wait who taught you to do
that ?"
His face change yooo the Zuko thing is driving him
crazy his jealousy is on steroids right now
Me : Mvelo you my first in everything I don't know
how to do it "
He breath out loud yoo this man of mine
Me : look you will teach me I just want to make
you feel something "
Him : but Sthandwa sami you made me come this
morning " he kissed my nosw
Me : Mvelo come on ... You stopped me this
morning when i touching you I'm not sure if was
doing it right or wrong you pleasured yourself and
made your self come " I frowned why we evin
going back forth with this why is he not jumping
to the opportunity that I want him
" hay ...China is not built in one day ..let me take
my time with you " he said giving me a baby kiss
... Seriously baby kiss Mvelo
Me : is it because I'm still a virgin that why you
treating me like this ?"

670 | P a g e
Him : now you acting crazy ... You know that there
is more to us then just sex Sbahle why rush
perfection "
Me : for how long do I need to wait you my
partner Mvelo and we need to do this things I'm
uni experience and I need you to teach me stuff "
He grabbed on my Ass tight " what's up with you
with wanting sex so bad "
Me : because I don't want you wanting it some
where else "
Hallo have you seen yourself women are drooling
over you
Him : baby ever since I meet you I haven't has sex
with no one its been 12months already ... Have
you seen how hot you are I can't even look at
another women and feel something ... Let me
take my time with you please ..."
Me : but I'm ready " I looked down
Him : I'm not "
Me : stop it ok ... You get a boner just by looking
at me even now you hard ... Why you saving me "
Him : oooh my God i created a Freak "
He placed his face on my chest
Me : so teach me ke ... I want to taste you as well
"

671 | P a g e
Him : baby please stop this topic is driving me
crazy "
Me : but I want you Mnguni ...I'm horny and I'm
wet "
I swallowed hard as I felt him grow so big under
me
Him : I love you and I want you first time to be
special you my Queen and I want to create
memories with you so go get dresses we going
out because you fuckin turning me on now!"_
I pouted he tried lifting me up from him but I just
placed my head on his chest clingy tendencies
right there its so crazy how I never want to let him
go
Him : come on babe "
don't ask me why It just seemed to happen that
way I kissed him and he moaned in my mouth he
was holding me to tight ...
.
.
Mvelo ***
Im so hard like mad hard Sbahle is not backing
down what have i created I wish I did not
introduce her to oral because the past two day
she has been a on me like a dog on heat if she

672 | P a g e
continues this way she might ruin my plans yes
I'm saving her for a purpose and its damn hard
because she is now comfortable with walking
around me with nothing on.
trust me every man loves to have a wife that is
lady in the street and a Freak in the bedroom
Sbahle just completed me and I can't Waite when
I finally make her a women the things I'm going to
do to her she will wish that she was never this
forward about having sex I understand she is
horny now and its all my fault because I could not
keep my hands off her
she is on top of me right now and I wanted to
explode I knew if I act now I will hurt her I thank
my fathers gins for making me gifted down town I
stood up she tangle her legs across me I'm sure I
got a million love bites on my skin now I moved to
our bedroom and started tickling her she got off
me like a lightning
Her : are you crazy " she was a laughing mass
Me : get dressed we need to go " I ran out and
closed the door looked at my boner and cursed "
damit you Sbahle "
I took my phone and called Mlondi
Me : what up ? "

673 | P a g e
Him : its taken care of "
Me : what did you do ?"
Him : stop asking me shit you told me to handle
Zuko so I did "
I nodded Mlondi is a hard core criminal and
having him as my brother in law is good but yet
crazy and scary "
Him : when are you leaving "
Me : tonight ..."
Him: I guess I'll see you there "
Me : ya sure " I dropped the call and dialled Zoe
Me: how is everything going? "
Her : perfect ... She going to love it ... Hay I'm still
talking to him ... Langa Mani "
Langa : what makes you think she will agree to all
of this ? dude when Banzi did it he knew that
Mpume was a sucker for romance wena
uzowenza kanjani with Sbahle ? You just got back
together with the hotheaded girl that will not bow
down to everything you say "
Me : I just made her find me irresistible "
Langa : ooh shit you made her climax for the first
time ....nice move ... But still .."
Me : she's on my mercy "
Him : so you haven't ... Fuck you good"

674 | P a g e
Me : I learn from the best ... " honestly speaking
Langa and Zoe love is goal and i want to have that
with Sbahle and I couldn't have asked for a good
friend like Langa to teach me on how he does it
and looked like I'm in to dip because I'm madly in
love with Sbahle
Langa : just focus on loving her now sex will be a
bonus ... She must just be the only thing that
matter in you're world and bro you can come to
me and thank me later ..."
I felt Sbahle hug me from behind
Me: I plan to do just that ... By the way when are
you getting married ... "_
Him : fuck you ! " he dropped the call and i
laughed
I turned around and looked at her Mlondi packed
few cloths for her and asked Sunny to dropped
them here she looked good on a baby pink dress
Me : I thought you hated girly colours "_
Her : that was before i meet you " I smiled
Me : let me put on a t- shit come help me pack "
Her : uyaphi "
Me : we going to Jo'burg "
.
.

675 | P a g e
To be continued

Chapter 66

Sbahle ****
I'm still asking my self ukuthi how rich is this guy
kanyi ? I still can not register that he has jet plane
this plane looks like a 5star hotel its was only me
him and the two pilots
After the take off he kissed my cheek
" let me catch up with work "
Me : hayi mvelo "
Him : I'm dealing with a major case sweetheart I
won't be lo long besides you got music movies
food go crazy'
He kissed me even longer he pulled out
Me : I miss you already "
He chuckled walked to what look like desk he
opened his lap top as I admired him for a while
and noticed that his focused in what his doing he
looked so serious I took my phone put my headset
on I decided to listen to Rehanna jams I was busy
humming I don't know when sleep came but I was
woken up Mvelo.

676 | P a g e
Him : buckle up love we landing "
I nodded we meet with a driver outside they
shook hands and he gave him car keys he bowed
and walked away Mvelo opened my door after he
put our bags in back .
I only been once to Jo'burg when I visited Zim and
did this crazy Tattoo on my back back then I was
in bad shape to even pay attention to the golden
city
Him : you miles away " he kissed my hand
Me : why we here "
Him : it's a surprise "
Me : I hate surprises "
Him : I know and I like that you hate them
because I plan to do them a lot till you love them "
I huffed as he giggled
The drive was not that long i opened my eyes to
this beautiful houses I have ever seen in some
estate we stopped at the gate of what looks like
mansion he rolled down the window and punched
in a code the gate open and we drove in there
were cars parked expensive cars parked outside
Him : shoot every one is here "
Me : who's house is this " I looked at it with my
jaws on the floor it was beautiful

677 | P a g e
I felt him tap my shoulder
Him : come" he offers me his hand I held it and
walk out I looked at my dress its a short baby pink
body hugging shirt dress I matched it with white
all stars my natural hair on a bun I'm just plain
Him : you panicking "
I looked at him like why didn't he tell me we going
to such place the guy did not knock he just
opened the big door and screamed
"Honey I'm home " what the fuck I was meet with
lot of faces some I knew some I'm seeing for the
first time I froze not knowing what to do
Me : sanibonani " they all greeted me back
" is that Trey ... Ooh my God you finally here Zoe
said coming from the other room Sindy screamed
following Zoe
Zoe : ooh no you don't "
Zoe and Sindy ran to Mvelo almost nocking him
down ok what
Mvelo is like giant mystery puzzles. You could
spend months piecing together parts of the puzzle
without ever actually finding out what the end
result looks like. And just when you think you’re
almost done and know what the picture will be a
mysterious thousand more pieces suddenly get

678 | P a g e
dumped In front of you what going on here ?
Menzi : evening my Queen " yooh this clown he
bowed and I laughed
" hi Menzi " he hugged me
" oh don't mind them they were worse when they
were still in high-schools finally we meet Mrs
Mnguni ... please come in welcome to my home "
I almost dropped my mouth This guy is hot ... No
scratch that his gorgeous wait did he say this is his
home he looks way young to have such a home
Him : I'm Langa Dlamini Zoe husband "
Ooh this is the Langa " ooh nice to finally meet
you too I have heard so much about you please
call me Sbahle " i was about to sit down when Zoe
attacked me with a hug
Her : I'm sorry about that "
Me : I know his you person ... ". She chuckled
" hay babe I'm Gugu finally we got to meet you its
been long over due ooh and your pictures have
nothing on you yoo umuhle "
Me: thank you
My husband where is he I got Zoe Sindy Gugu and
some short girls with freckle that looks like Veli all
looking at me with smiles on there face
"I'm Nompumelelo Dlamini I'm sorry could not

679 | P a g e
attend your wedding I was swamped with work "
said the Veli look alike
Sindy : just call her Mpume "
Gugu : next thing she will ask you to call her
Madlamini "
Mpume : ask Bongani to put a ring on it you will
know how good it is to be call by your husband's
surname "
Sindy and Gugu where talking so loud I figured it
because of the wine glasses on there hands
Zoe : come let's catch up... This topic will not end
any time soon"
I followed her to the kitchen I looked for the man I
came with but dololo
Zoe : I'm so glad that you two are back together ...
He almost died "
Me : well I guess the time apart worked made him
see my worth he seem to be focus on us now "
Her : his a good guy and I haven't seen him this
happy in long time you make him happy ... What
ever you doing you doing it right and keep it up "
I smiled looking down
Zoe gave me a glass juice yep as most girls do we
gossip about the loud mouths on the other room
and what going on with them Zoe is fun crazy and

680 | P a g e
such a cool person to hang around with
Its true what they say the friends you keep
determine who you are and your future
Me : so you and Mpume are married to brothers
?"
Her : yep Mpume is like a sister wife to me now
she was my best friend when we were growing up
"
Me : why you say you were once best friends "
Her : life happened babe and interest change "
I nodded I shifted my focus on this beautiful area
they call a kitchen
Me : I love you kitchen Zoe "
Her : pity I can't cook I only come here to get my
wine from the fridge "
We bust out and laughed
I was only called here by her to gossip about every
one look at her take sip of her wine but I'm not
bord at all in fact I'm enjoying my time with her I
guess I'm only close to Zoe because she Mvelo's
person what ever that is but there are like sister
and brother and the fact that she was also close
with Pam is a bonus to me.
Me : hayboo i forgot to ask are you perhaps
throwing a party or something ?"

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Her : no sweety every year we have this couple
retreat that we do you know a romantic gate
away we all friends and in one circle so that when
we get time to chill catch up get drunk and have
fun I was not looking forward in going this year
because we lost one of our own and it was just
not going to be the same without her "
Me : Pam ? "
She nodded but Mvelo said that he is visiting me
for a weekend I told Sindy and she was on the
next plane to my house when I told her that
Mvelo is bringing you along boom the house was
pack '
I laughed
Me : that crazy all because of me ?"
Zoe : who wouldn't want to be in presence of
royalty "
So Mvelo decided to officially introduce me to his
friend but why now ? I mean they know his
married to someone could it be that maybe they
were driving him crazy about how i must be to
classy or snobbish to hang out with them because
of my title maybe that the reason why he hasn’t
brought me to meet them You’ll know maybe he’s
just doing it to shut them up because it will be a

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two-second meet and greet and i won’t see them
again for quite a while.
Sindy walked in " yooh your friend drives me crazy
"
Zoe : she always my friend when you fight with
her "
Her : that ring in her finger makes her think she is
better then us "
Zoe : she's been married for four years and well to
me that still a honeymoon stage ... So let her be "
Sindy clicked her tongue "sidla nini kanti " she
asked
Zoe : you always hungry ... Take this bowls to the
patio" the other two girls walked in and we
moved the food to the back yard it was an
entertainment area and looked so beautiful the
lighting oh my God ok I'm saying it for the last
time now this house is beautiful its your MTVbase
celebrity cribs kind of a look its just out of this
world.
I saw Sindy Throwing himself to Menzi yoo this
two something never change Mvelo called me to
sit next to him he held my hand and kissed my
cheek
Him : are you good ? "

683 | P a g e
I smiled he took a glass and gave me some juice "
thank you " I said to him
From the looks of it I get to see the loud him cray
cocky and fun side
He wants to hang out with everyone and have
fun. It’s not a big deal to him that I'm meeting his
friends. It just simplifies his life if we can all hang
out at the same time. I have concluded that this
won't be a once off thing he will want me to go to
dinner with his friends or hang out with the girls
that why he left me there to get to know them i
took my time studying this girls before me well
you Know Zoe she more like me and we clicked
from first day I saw her Sindy is tall and Slim long
hair ambitious feisty I get that Menzi is
intimidated by her but I see crazy love in them
Gugu they call her miss Ghetto she is loud and
swears a lot Zoe said she dating Bongani and
there relationship is to crazy to understand
Mpume is church girl also a worker holic she
works in the Dlamini plantation her in-laws
company she act too much of wife and bores me
to death and she marrier to Banzi
Him : well this are my friend when my life was
stuck in the middle of nowhere like a car that has

684 | P a g e
low guess tank that sitting on E my family here
bafaka I full tank and kick start me to move on "
I nodded you know me and Mvelo hardly dated
and I don't know much about rules and regulation
of when a guy dates a girl but for him to introduce
me to his friends means a grate deal I means that
he wants me to be part of his circle his sharing
everything to them about us and he want me to
be in the circle as well this is so new to me but I'm
just glad that every one has a partner this is a
good sign i can rest assure that when he say his
with his friends his not not cheating his rubbing
on my thigh now his to affectionate his doing it
again claiming me He wants everyone around him
to know that im off limits because he’s into me
He’s practically peeing on my leg marking his
territory Mvelo is a typically jealous type all signs
are just there.
Gugu ; you know we can do that as well '"
Zoe : gugu stop it "
Mpume : no qhubeka you were saying ?"
Mpume was dishing up for every one she looks
quite and humble not like the rest of the girls here
but I did not get her character there something
about her that I can't put my finger on it. And the

685 | P a g e
way they discussed her back in the house just
confirmed my suspisions
Mvelo : are you cold? " I smelled alcohol in his
mouth he now tipsy he looking at me with lustful
eyes
I shook my head no
Him : did I tell you how beautiful you are today '
he whisper in my ear and I giggled
Me : every morning when I wake up you do tell
me buy I can never get enough '
Mvelo: everything about you is totally hot me
being next to you right now im just showing off.
You just pumped up my ego to another level
I blushed and looked down
I hit his shoulder you so wrong I noticed that
Mpume finished dishing up no one serves my man
but me " mom rules " I stood up
Him : uyaphi ?"
Me : to get your food " the smile on his face was
priceless most likely he was checking me out my
body while I'm taking two plates .
I handed him wet wipes that were saculating
Him: please wipe my hand "
I did that all eyes were on us but I was not going
to dwell on there looks

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Me : don't tell me I must feed you as well "
Him : you read my mind "
Me : uyahlanya "
I handed him his food as we laughed
Him : thank you Mabhengu "
I smiled
Me : did you notice that Mpume lookes like Veli "
Banzi and Mvelo had a conversations with their
eyes
Mvelo : you haven't told her "
He asked Banzi
Banzi : its not my place ... "
I looked at Mvelo " what going on ? "
Him : I promise to tell you later "
The food looks good nothing fancy just lot of meat
and salads
Gugu : so Sbahle tell us about yourself "
I looked at her like is she crazy
Bongani : she is Sbahle Treys wife full stop ."
Gugu : awkahle angikhulumi nawe "
I wasn't prepared to answer a ton of questions I
didn't even know how to answer that question I
don't want yo seam rude or anything so just
shifted her to that direction she was going
Me : ngiyintombazane yasezilalini empangeni

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ngacelwa isoka leseswatini ucu ngalinika
wangikhokhela sashata "
Gugu : what "
Everyone bust out and laughed
Langa : Mkhaya Wami ... ( my home girl )
Owangasesigodini sangakithike wena "
Banzi whistled I shook my head and laughed Zulu
boys
Zoe : she just said what Bongani said in dip Zulu "
Bongani fist bump me " Ndlonkulu " I laughed
Gugu : you got jokes I see " she stood up no make
that stumble up walking away
Sindy : I think she meet her match "
Bongani : its about time yoo she so annoying
when she is drunk " this right here did not feel
awkward conversation was flowing after his
happy that I'm talking and joking around with
every one
Me : was this a test ?"
Him : for ?"
Me : to see how your friends feel about me "
Him : what ... No ! "_
Me : Mnguni you can't lie to me I know that
People trust their friends and listen to their advice
eventually. This is like a test-run to see if your

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friends like me or not If they nix me I won’t see
them again and i ll probably be breaking up a life
time relationship with them with you If they do
like me i’ll suddenly be invited to lots of stuff that
includes everyone."
Him : why you always have to over think every
thing "
Me : I call that being Smart "
Him : mmmm I see wena what answer did you
come up with '"
Me : we can only wait and see ... But either way I
ain't holding my breath as long as I got you "
Bongani : You know I thought Zoe and Langa are
the only ones joined at the hip don't tell me you
two also... Come on ! " ooh my God I even forgot
we have company we were in our own bubble
now cuddling in a one sitter and lost in each other
eyes
Mvelo : get used to it " they bust out and laughed
.
I think I'm jet leg because I was yawning now and
it not helping that I'm resting my head on Mvelo
chest Every one was drunk the guys were on there
second bottle of Hennessey and not mention
bears and sided there were drinking the girls were

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drinking wine and Vodka I'm the only sobber one
here becouse even Momfundisi is drinking.
Bongani and Menzi told fart jokes and too many
stories that started like “That one time when we
drove drunk…” There’s nothing more unattractive
to me than people who do reckless dangerous
things and think they’re funny or something
worth being proud of. Ugh. Langa Mvelo and
Banzi were speaking in codes you that guys talk
it’s like they’re spitting question marks out of
their mouths mixed in with their words. Sure we
hear what they’re saying but what the heck do
they mean by whatever it is?
Me : I need to use the bathroom " Mpume said
that she tired and was going to bed I sensed a
vibe between her and hubby but hay its non of my
business Mvelo asked her to show me the
bathroom so we walked out together
Her : so Trey does not mind you wearing shot
things "
Me : no "
Her : but you're a wife and Queen "
Me : I know ... But how will the way I dress affect
my ability to be a Good wife or Queen"
Her : ooh ..."

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Me : so where is the bathroom "
She showed me
Me : thank you ... Good night ' I walked past her ' I
did my business washed my hands and when I
opened the door I bumped into Mvelo
Him : baby I can't drive to the hotel now I'm drunk
Zoe has enough rooms can we please spend the
night "
Me : Zoe told me we spending the weekend here
"
Him : shit ... You don't mind right "
Me: naaaaah me tired now 'll go asked Zoe which
rooms will use "
Him : don't worry i will show you myroom "
Me : your room ?"
Him :I have a room in this house Sbu house and
Menzi ...come help me pee" he pushed me inside
the bathroom and attacked me with kiss .
.
.

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Chapter 67

Sbahle ***
The feeling of being in love and also to you are
loved by someone is the best thing anybody can
feel in this world Mvelo showers me with love
gifts and just him being there every time when I
need him oh but come night time he sleeps like
his in kung -fu movie and fighting ninjas and when
his drunk its even worse he will keep hogging the
covers snoring way too loud he will tl grinding of
teeth kick and punch me ooh God and the way he
spread himself on the bed Jesus come down
please !
there’s many times when i woke up last night and
just looked at him i finally took my covers and
cuddle in a couch in our room but surprisingly i
woke up in his arms in the early morning It was
pretty awesome having him sleep next to me but
Like every scenario there are pros and cons in
having a life time partner we just need to adjust
to them . It’s easy to complain about all his
annoying habits but sometimes we forget about
all the things we love about having our partners
share our beds.

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I don't know about you but you most probably
realized that I'm a sucker for Snuggling up in his
arms and falling asleep in his chest is one of the
best feelings in the world. I feel safe secure and
loved. Sleep comes fast and i sleep so easy and It
doesn’t get much better than that.
I woke up to an empty Bed this man being an
early bird is his thing there was a note on his
pillow
" gone jogging with the guys don't miss me to
much "
I frowned I want my morning cuddle and kiss you
know its Even better than falling asleep beside
him the feeling of waking up next to him too is my
pick me up for the day As long as we can get over
the morning breath curling up in Mvelo arms is
the best way to start my day.
I dragged my body to the bathroom took a shower
hot long shower we slept very late last night and I
got bags under my eyed as evidence after taking a
bath I made my way to the bedroom the door
opened with him in shots kicks and black and
white bandana he smiled when he notice me he
was sweating and I was about ask him about his t-
shirt and he showed me

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"I took it off when I was walking up the stairs I
swear " he kissed me with his salty sweaty mouth
I giggled
Him : Good morning "
Me : morning go take a bath ..."
He smiled and winked at me walking to the
bathroom leaving a trail of his cloths everywhere
Mvelo is such a baby
" don't take that towel off just yet I want to show
you something " he said from the bathroom
" ok "
I heard the shower running and took my phone
Didy profile pic was a wedding picture his status
read " its about to get lit attending cross
continent wedding "
I texted her and asked "who's getting married "
Her : I'm at class babe will call you later "
Me : its Saturday Didy ... "
Her : I have to go mom is calling me "
Me : your mom ? You in cape town and she KZN ...
Didy what going on ?"
She logged out Didy profile pic was a wedding
picture his status read " its about to get lit
attending cross continent wedding "
I texted her and asked "who's getting married "

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Her : I'm at class babe will call you later "
Me : its Saturday Didy ... "
Her : I have to go mom is calling me "
Me : your mom ? You in cape town and she KZN ...
Didy what going on ?"
She logged out I tried calling her phone was off
Mvelo threw himself on the bed
Him: what up with that face ? "
Me : Didy is talking about some international
wedding "
Him: ooh ..." he tossed my phone aside and
started kissing me and touching me "
Me : babe not here what if they hear me "
Him : " the walls are sound proof just relax and
let's enjoy each other "
I like the sound of that he was really hard and his
morns were so loud he ate me up like his life
dependent on my pussy And it was really good I
came and he licked me cleaned I was still coming
back from my high when he told
Him : Babe let me teach you something before I
die of green balls " he said with his eyes half
opened
Me : what ? "
Him : you going to do it day don't bite me please "

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What the fuck you talking about I frowned
wondering
Him : you going to go down on me "
I'm not in the mood I bite my lower lip
Him : don't over think it just do it "
Me :Mvelo " he tossed me to be on top of him his
shaft was going up and hard with veins popping
out like anything I have never seen
Him : you over thinking it come on Sbahle take my
dick and put it on your mouth is like licking a lolly
pop "
so here I was on my knees i made tentative efforts
at first. If i did not love him the way I do i would
have said this is primarily comprised of the
emotion of “Ew this is gross!” but that was simply
not the case with me. After all I was already
willing to put it inside my vagina so having it in my
mouth didn't seem like a big deal. What really
bugged me was trying to figure out how to
breathe he is big and it did not help that his hand
were directing me to move back and fourth on
him basically i had to take a break every 30
seconds or so - which meant he went from fully
aroused to not at all turned on several times.
Finally I realized that this was the exact opposite

696 | P a g e
of swimming with my head underwater. I had to
remember to keep both my mouth and nose open
at the same time. Perform with one breathe with
the other. But by then I was so tired and had such
a massive crick in my neck I wanted to stop but he
was in the moment and screaming what ever shit
in tongues.
No matter what they tell you boys definitely have
the easier task. No gag reflex to worry about no
need to twist your neck in a really awkward angle
for long minutes no spit-swallow dilemma to deal
with. Anyway those are more evolved problems
than I was facing while he was calling my name
and clearly enjoying himself he instructed me to
play with his balls and I followed instruction he
was in another world ...after some time he tensed
up his eyes were rolled back
Him : shit ... Shit ....ooh my God Fuck ... " oh good
Lord did he just come on my mouth I jumped up
and ran to the bathroom to spit it out I rinsed my
mouth he walked behind me
Him : I'm ...really .....really sorry"
I continued to spit and ignored him
Him : hle - hle ... I'm sorry "
I looked at him the mirror

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Me: you came in my mouth Mvelo ... What the
hack ".
Him : for a fist timer you did it like a pro ... Fuck
you took me to another planet and i found my self
speaking alien language "
I looked at him and laughed
We were both naked and we cracking up in the
bathroom about the things he was saying I'm
relieved to say it wasn't so bad and I promised to
do it next time since my first experience got me
cleaning my mouth
We took an innocent bath together
Him : you know that one day you will swallow my
come "
Me : never "
Him : are you going against the word of your
master now " I laughed
Him : I love you so much Mabhengu "
Me : I love you too Mnguni "_we kissed
it was pretty spectacular even though I say so
myself finally I got the chance to drive him crazy
.
.
To be continued

698 | P a g e
Chapter 68

Sbahle ***
We did not eat breakfast with the other we just
played around in our room till our tummy told us
we have to eat took another shower while he
changed when I was done I dressed up I tried to
fix my hair but water has made it frizzy so I just
decided to put a hat on
Him : you wearing that ?"
Me : is there anything wronging with it ? "
Him : ngisazobulala umuntu Mina mekunje "
Me : you so dramatic "
I put my white bucket hat on my hair was just to
much for me to comb
Him : Sbahle I can not always be your shadow
from all the vulture out there"
I looked at him he was also looking like a dish
brown chino pants cream golf T-shirt with black
snickers
Me : you wearing that ? "
He rolled his eyes

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Me : that so gay "
We bust out and laughed he held my Hand and
looked at me dip in the eyes
Him : I love you and I trust you but I don't trust
them this top is reveling my assets "
Me : I can take care of my self besides my heart
belongs to you ... "
We kissed
Him : you look hot ... But yoo that hair .."
Me : I hope Zoe can take me to her stylist "_
Hin : I gave you a card that you hardly used ...
Why is that ?"
Me : I left all my belongings back at the royal
house that day ... I was Mlondi charity case for the
past months "_ I said laughing his face changed
Him :you should have called "
Me : I was mad at you "
Even I'd I wasn't I will never ask him for money I
got my trust fund money and saving account so
I'm set for life yes his rich but I will not stoop to
that level of being that women. While some
women have no qualms about seeking financial
help from their partners from time to time I find it
a bit uncouth to ask for money from my man
I do expect gifts and treats from time to time but

700 | P a g e
asking for cash is a line that I don’t cross. Maybe it
is because I have my own money and I can take
care of my bills. I know some women who are
unemployed and have to rely on their boyfriends
for everything even the most basic of needs thank
God I'm not like that
Him : you my beautiful wife are not your brothers
responsibility either we separated or together you
need to call me for such things "
Me : babe its just money why you getting worked
up about this " he looked at me and I knew his
pissed Mvelo has moods for day and as much as I
understand him I hate that his mood can go from
100 to 0 in a split of a second
Him : because you never ask me for anything "
Ooh god are we having this topic right now I
rolled my eyes
Me : I was not raised to depend on men Mvelo "
Honestly speaking that the fact I don't see a big
deal about this Unlike some ladies out there I
don’t believe that men solely exist in this earth to
support women. A man is not your ATM or safety
net. Try becoming independent. You will feel a lot
happier and fulfilled in a relationship if you know
that you have got your own back. But my man

701 | P a g e
here does not feel like that He let go of my hand
and took a band and tied his hair
Me : Mvelo ..." I tried calming him down
He was breathing heavily
Me : Mnguni ... " his eyes were red with anger
Him : I'm just a men ... That you need nothing
from ... You talked about doing your hair who's
money were you going to use ?! "
Me : mine " I said softly
Him : usebenzaphi Sbahle !!!
I hate it when he start shouting I just don't know
how to talk to him when his like this just this
morning we were having fun explored each other
body's now his wild lion is just waiting to ripe me
apart
Him : you so full of yourself ...yazi ... "
Me : angizwanga ? "
Him : this what we have is not boyfriend girlfriend
thing we married what's mine is yours what yours
is mine ... Stop acting like a bloody single women
... "
I looked down he threw his bank card on the bed
" you need to know and understand the definition
of being in a relationship...or being a wife in this
marriage "

702 | P a g e
He walked out banging the door I sank down on
the couch and place my hands on my face what
just happen right now ... I could not cry because I
had no tears to cry for something so meaningless
like money.
Few minute later I heard a light nock and few
seconds later the door opened
Zoe : hi "
Me: hi " I faked a smile
She seat down next to me
Her : are you ok ? "
Me : did he ask you to speak to me? "
She shook her head no
Her : his not speaking to anyone I figured you two
had a fight "
Me : his too controlling and wants things to be
done his way I understand I'm young Zoe but
Mvelo sometimes treat me like a kid than his
partner "
She laughed shaking her head I could not help but
to admire her beauty this blond colour on her hair
makes her look white then coloured
Her : you mind telling me what happened "
Me : sibanga imali he wants me to ask him for
everything Zoe is love suppose to be about money

703 | P a g e
and what he gives me ? I don't give a damn about
his Richie's I love him. .. Just right now I wanted to
do my hair using my own money but he almost
bite my head off "
She continued laughing I stood up cause she was
pissing me off as well
Me : can you stop laughing this is not funny "_
Her : I'm so sorry its just that I have been in your
situation so I can really relate on what you going
trough right now "
Me : what ? "_
He:let me tell you about me and Langa ..."
I set down next to her
Her : I meet him when I was 16 .. He was 21 he
was my first in everything love kiss sex everything
..."
Me : this sounds like me and Mvelo "
She nodded
Her : I was his golden egg I still am he hated that
I'm wild and free because yena his quite and keep
to himself kind of guy so many times he wish I
could change but as young as I was I stood my
ground... I meet langa before he was this rich but
he had money and boy did he wish to strangle me
when I told him my brother gave my first car my

704 | P a g e
aunt bought me this and that when I went out
shopping with my friend and don't ask him for
money he will flip ... I didn't get it then but being a
wife at an age of 17 I learned fast that I'm bruising
his Igor "
Me : what ? "
Zoe : man like Langa and Mvelo believe that the
money that they work so hard for day in and day
out must be spend by there wife's ... Langa gives
me an allowance of R25k every month bought me
this house pay for my school fees i got four cars a
house keeper a personal chef cloths that still have
tags on and when I say I'm bord he takes me on
holiday across the world ..."
Me : wow that too much ... Its like you don't even
lift a finger"
Her : I don't ... I just do my wife duties in bedroom
respect him support him and stay beautiful ...
Me : wow ! You sound like a trophy wife ?"
Her : he will never allow me to be that I will never
allow my self either .. That why I'm at school
doing my 5th year in medicine because a powerful
man needs a smart educated women he can show
of with he will never allow you to hide behind his
shadow ... He chose you for your brains never

705 | P a g e
doubt that "
Me: I don't know what to do ... I mean he said a
mouth full and his mad "
She laughed
Her :that simple baby girl just go wild with his
money trust me it makes them so happy ... And
that reduces fighting ... "
Me :R25k monthly allowance ?"
She laughed
Her : and I don't even use it ... He loves taking me
shopping and he pampers me all the time ... So I
use his most of the time "
We laughed
Me :this feels I don't know like your love is based
on money I don't know if I can deal with that ?"
She shook her heard
Her : we can be broke with nothing I will still put
my life on the line for that men .. And I know you
will too for Mvelo this lifestyle is just a bonus to
the love we have ...so Stop questioning Mvelo he
wears the pants in this relationship and enjoy
being his wife "
I looked down
Her : hle - hle that man loves you and wish to
make you happy what ever he does for you its not

706 | P a g e
because he want yo control you or buy you but
because he want to give you the finer things in life
that are suited for his Queen "
She stood up and pulled me up
Her : chin up ok " I smiled and nodded
and she hugged me strange enough her hug was
not cold or forced my body just allowed her in
Her : I like your outfit ... Yoo that ass girl "
Me : not big as yours "
Her : off course you can't top this "
We laughed and she hooked her arm around mine
I was wearing white shorts white shirt that expose
my back I topped it with my gold necklace with
matching bracelet and watch Mvelo bought this
set last year he said ' to show you how I
appreciate you '
Me : I need to go to the mall maybe do my hair "
Zoe : I got you do you mind if we go with the
others "
Me : naaah its cool "
She lead me outside there was a table set in the
garden with all the foodies
Sindy : finally you two came down "
Me : sorry i miss breakfast. . . I over slept "
Sindy : what breakfast we all woke up now ... "

707 | P a g e
Me : afternoon every one ... " they greeted me
back
I set next to Zoe and Sindy was on my other side
Mvelo was sitting in front of me and his eyes fixed
on his phone
I stated dishing a fruit salad for my self
Mpume : I thought you were going to help me
cook this morning " she looked at me So how do
say this with out being rude
Me : I'm sorry should I have ? "
Her : well I just hope you different from the lazy
bunch "
Gugu : will never hear the end of this ... Yes
Mpume you cooked brunch thank you "
Mpume rolled her eyes and looked at me
Me : I'm really sorry I didn't know I would have
help you just that where I come from the kitchen
is the the pride and joy an escape place for the
women of the house Zoe never gave me
permission to utilize her space "
Mpume laughed " she can't even cook so what
the point of asking her something she does not
use or utilize "
Banzi : Nompumelelo "
Mpume : what she's saying does not make sense"

708 | P a g e
Me : its still her house she may not cook in it but
I'm sure there other things she does in it so as her
guest I'm respecting her boundaries and I will ask
for nothing less from her or anyone else in fact
when there in my house "
The table went silent and every one was looking
at me like I said go fuck your self
Langa : Mkhaya Wami ...I really like you "
Sindy bust out and laughed I looked up and found
Mvelo side smiling at me
Zoe : so let's past the fact that I can't cook that
was just rudely displayed to every one ooh God ...
!"
Langa : as Sbahle said there is lot more you do on
that kitchen then just cook some of those things
make me very happy .. " he winked at her
Bongani : fuck man can't you just wait till we
finish eating...hayi langa Mani " he pushed his
plate aside and every one bust out and laugh ok
did I miss the joke
Sindy : mmmm thatha friend "
Zoe : yes baby tell them how we cook up a storm
together "
Mvelo phone ranged he stood up moved away to
answered it

709 | P a g e
Zoe : I'm thinking spar day for us lady's till you
guys figure out entertainment for later "
Mvelo: count me and Sbahle out we made other
plans for later " he said sitting
Banzi : yayaya we know "
Ok am I the one lost what plans is he talking about
Sindy : ooh yes I like that Zoe "
Langa called Mvelo for a word and they moved
away from us
Gugu : I also want hit the mall do shopping "
Bongani : that it I'm out " all the guys stood up
leaving girls to chat
Zoe : and maybe get inked up "
Gugu : how about strip club ke Ladys " she said a
loud enough for the guys to stop what they doing
"_what !!" Langa
" INI " Bongani
" fuck no !" Banzi
" Dakiwe " menzi
Mvelo just laughed ...
Gugu : haybo I'm just joking ... " we all laughed
Sindy : Gugu kodwa ... Uzobulala abanye
abatwana "
Zoe : so who's driving ... I'm already drinking she
raised her glass .. " does she ever stop drinking ?

710 | P a g e
Sindy : I'm still hang over from yesterday ... " we
looked at Gugu
Her : fuck no ".she said fixing her shades yoo she
is such a diva
Zoe : I guess you driving Sbahle "
" why me ? I don't even know the Pretoria roads "
Mpume : fine I will drive when are we leaving "
Gugu : no offence we want to get there today not
in a next decade or two "
Every one bust out and laughed
Mvelo: well if you still value your life don't put my
wife behind the wheel she drives like mad max "
He took an apple and walked away
Zoe : cool ... Sbahle is driving "
Me : Zoe "
Zoe : I love you Sweety " she kissed my cheek they
just bulling me because I'm new and younger
Me : let me go get my bag and phone " I stood up
and every one said "wow " I turned and looked at
them what ? did I mess my self
Mpume : is that a tattoo ?"
Zoe : I told you its fuckin our of this world "
Sindy jumped from her sit
Gugu : fuck this is dope "
There were making a huge deal out of this

711 | P a g e
Mpume : its big ..." She frowned she was
disgusted or something I'm starting to not like this
girl now
Me : is there something wrong Mpume "
Gugu : come love before she calls you a devil
worshiper " we laughed as we walked inside the
house she went to her room and i walked to mine
I took my bag phone and card compliment of
hubby
" I'm sorry about earlier " I did not look at him
Me : ok "
Him : I'm sorry Sbahle "
Me : I said ok "
I took my stuff and was about to walk out ..
Him : look babe I know I'm difficult man to be
with and I'm working on being a better man for
you ... "
Me : uzama kanjani? Because all you do is shout
at me when you get angry I'm not your child
Mvelo I'm your wife and sometimes you need to
speak to me with respect ... Don't let my age
cloud the way you look at me I'm a women ...
Because you decided to make me grow up by
putting this rock on my finger ... So before you
lose control and find something wrong with my

712 | P a g e
action make me see reason first and talk to me
like your women ... So let me go please "
Him : ngiyaxolisa "
He let my arm go ... " sorry is never enough ... " I
walked out banging door as well two can play that
game
.
To be continued.

Chapter 69

Sbahle ***
Its true that the enemy of a woman is another
woman We've all have encountered with that one
particular women that sis judgemental and
nobody can stand her ... I thought this such
behavior is found in high school and girls bully
other over nothing is it jealousy or is it envy? No
body knows
I've heard Didy once said that 'girls are mean' and
'women are bitchy' I never knew I will meet a wolf
hiding under a sheep skin like I just did and to top
it up i have been in countless run-ins with her
ever since I meet her that right now I feel like

713 | P a g e
jumping her .
Mpume : I just feel like having a tattoo.. Is just
tainting God temple " I rolled my eyes this was
getting old why is she still talking about my tattoo
hallo Zoe has about 20 tattoos on her body
Me : Mpume you dwelling to much on this now
and it starting to irritate me why don't you save
that speech for Banzi "
Her : where does my husband feet in all of this ?_"
Me : you married to a man that has about 100
tattoos on his body so you telling me you rather
vow to love him for life and but judge us who only
have one tattoo ? "
Singh : aish !"
Mpume : Its jusy my own personal view point why
you so offended "
Me : hambo shumayela ekhaya kuqala dali not LA
( go preach at home not here )
Gugu : wow ! "
Mpume : i was just trying to "
Sindy : Mpume let it go please "
She clicked her tongue and looked outside the
window I decided to annoy her so I press the
excelerate
and Zoe jeep just flew

714 | P a g e
Mpume : haybo !"
Zoe turned the music up and we high five that
what I'm talking about
Zoe : its late for full body massage so I guess we
can do hair and nails "
She said after we got off the car
Mpume : and you call that driving ... Were you
trying to kill us "
More like kill you I wanted to say
Me : you got in car even after Mvelo warned you
so don't blame me "
Zoe : you so crazy wena
Sindy : guy i need to do shopping I think im
gaining weight '
We looked at her and we laughed she is still tall
and skinny with no body fat what so ever
Me : I'm just hungry "
Zoe : you just ate now!"
Me : it was a fruit salad ... Haybo I need meat "
Gugu :mina girls i need to do facials it might take
long so I'll call you when I'm done "
Sindy : thatha wena taxi owner "
Gugu : yes girl "
We all laughed
The day at salon was well spent I just treat and

715 | P a g e
washed my hair and styled it also did my pedi and
meni ( nail) just for control
Mpume : I so hate you two right now ... This hair
is so long its not legal for black girl "
She pointed at me and Sindy
Sindy : remember when you had long dreadlocks
gone are those day now you just rocking a boy cut
Shane "
Zoe laughed
Mpume : I blame Banzi for cutting it he kept on
saying its getting in the way tie this thing up " he
mimicked his voice and we laughed
Funny because I love Mvelo dreadlocks the way I
hold it when he kiss me it my first contact when
we get close.
Sindy : yoooh I'm going to kill this day ass where is
she "
Zoe : she coming relax "
So here we are waiting for Gugu who said she was
done and coming our way that was like an hour
ago and my phone has been ringing non stop urg
Mvelo and his endless sorries I was not in the
mood
Gugu : bafazi sorry for keeping yo'll waiting "
Mpume : two rounds of drinks are on you uyezwa

716 | P a g e
" she pointed a finger at her
Gugu : money is not a problem my girls it how you
spend it that becomes a problem "
Sindy and i laughed
Zoe : wow you look like a doll "
Gugu : dating a player girl you need to be always
on top of your game "
Mpume : is Bongani still cheating ? "
Gugu : naa... I'm the bone that his sucking day in
and day out and I work extra hard to always be
juicy for him "
This girl is to much yooo
Gugu is the lover of things she put in
28 inch weave
nails eyelashes she did her eyebrows and make up
she looked different that layer of make will sure
leave the pillow cases dirty.
This girls shop like there is no tomorrow we did a
lot of shopping I was so tired I wanted to die
" no I'm not getting inside there " I stood outside
eyelashes she did her eyebrows and make up she
looked different that layer of make will sure leave
the pillow cases dirty.
This girls shop like there is no tomorrow we did a
lot of shopping I was so tired I wanted to die

717 | P a g e
" no I'm not getting inside there " I stood outside
Zoe pulled my arm ooh god I'm in a lingerie shop
hallo bitches I'm not even having sex I wanted
scream
Sindy : this will look good on you "
Me : Sindy no! its to revealing "
Gugu : that the whole point. ... Its takes Bongani
less than a second to rip it apart I wish I had my
size " she walked to the plus size ilse
Me : what the point of buying this if it does not
last a second on your body "
Zoe : ooh my Sindy this girl need schooling "
Sindy : school in session learn and listen my child "
I looked at her as she explained
Sindy : Often what people don't understand about
sex is that it's in the mind. Sex is way more than
just the man penetrating the woman. So foreplay
is more important than people give it credit for.
That's the general idea I had put out there.
Now coming to why I would wear lingerie for my
boyfriend? Like other answers have said that
lingerie is the appetizer. I wear it to seduce my
partner get him to drool over me or sometimes to
just tease him. There are nights when we get
down to business straightaway but on other

718 | P a g e
nights I really want to perform for him ... You
know " she said dancing I nodded
Zoe : Some of us enjoy wearing lingerie for
ourselves. Not only do I enjoy wearing pretty
lingerie I enjoy photographing myself in it. And
sanding pics to Langa while his at work and it
drives him crazy when he get home I will be on my
usual night wear as if I did not erode him
My collection has grown so much that I need to
upgrade my storage for it yet again soon.
Beyond that lingerie is as Sindy said its part of
foreplay for many people. Yes it does come off
but before it does it can make the wearer feel
more confident and can excite their partner. "
Me : ooh my God guys ! " I was shocked this girl
know about sex as if they went to school and for
qualification for it
Mpume : i only wear it when i say sorry to him
and damn will he he give me a hiding"
Sindy : you took my advise "
She nodded shyly
Sindy : told you that man are weak when we got
this fabric on "
Zoe and Sindy high five
Mpume : so you never worn one ?"

719 | P a g e
I shook my heard no
Mpume : yoo! Sex must be very boring with you "
That hit home fuck this girl
Zoe : how will she know when Mvelo is still saving
her "
Me : Zoe !"
Zoe : sorry . . " aish this girl she has no filter or
what so ever
Mpume : Ini ? kanjani ? " she frowned I'm not sure
about that look it was anger mixed with being
surprised and a whole lot more I just walked away
Zoe pulled me
Zoe : I'm really sorry love ... I didn't mean to "
Me : its not you I'm worried about it how she will
try and use this information to try and embarrass
me i know her kind they find joy in other peoples
misfortune just because I'm not having sex I'll be
the joke of the town "
Zoe : I will not allow it to get to that please sisi I'm
sorry ... I will fix this "
I nodded
Her : don't waist your breath on her so let's go
shop for your man "
Me : Zoe!"
Her : ... You taking this one and this ... Not

720 | P a g e
forgetting le "
Me : I don't think I will ever wear such things "
Her : trust me you will ... You need to read
cosmopolitan on reason why you should and
watch porn girl .. Prepare yourself "
Me : I doubt that day will come any day soon
because this man of mine prefer cuddling me ...
His maybe waiting for Jesus to cone back so we
can do it "
Zoe laughed
Me : and worst part I'm forever horny when I'm
with him ... Is it normal ? "
I whispered in her ear and she bust out and
laughed but quickly held her mouth
Her : your body is ready mogul its perfectly
normal ... "
Me : I feel like I'm sex addict ... Before even
having sex "
She was in tears
Sindy : ok I'm done "
Me : did you buy the whole store " judging by the
intern on her arm
Zoe : now this is sex addict ... We can never keep
up ?_" she pointed at Sindy
Sindy :lalela LA I spend four Years with out him

721 | P a g e
...while he was Busy studying in the UK so his back
and we braking the bed mama ... Revenge sex "
Gugu: is there a such thing ? " she said standing
next to us
Zoe : with Sindy and Menzi it is a thing "
We bust out and laughed we paid and made our
way to some stake and grille restaurant this ladies
love there wine
Zoe : you need to start drinking love me : I don't
think I can "
Mpume : I was once like you but well life
happened soon or later that cherry will be popped
too "
Zoe : say one more thing about Sbahle and Trey
sex life and I sweat to God I will spill every little
secrete about your perfect marriage right here
right now !"
She looked at Zoe
Zoe : we not in highschool we do not look at other
down or bully them just because there new in our
circle ... Grow up for goodness sake yazi yakhinya
"
Her : maybe I should leave since clearly everyone
is ganging over me "
Gugu :qondisa igwegwe dali be a born again in our

722 | P a g e
friendship and uzosifica sisala "
She took her things looked at me and cliqued her
tongue
Sindy : don't mind her .... You sure you don't want
a drink "
We all laughed
Me : I don't know ... Maybe some other time I still
need to drive you b back " I said laughing
Sindy: ' point taken"
my phone beeped I looked at the massage :
~~~~hi baby ..
Freedom of expression has its limits. I have gone
beyond the boundaries to the point of being rude.
It was a terrible mistake I did. I never intended to
hurt your feelings or trample on your opinions. I
am sorry. Please allow me to make up for my
mistakes. Would you care to come for nightcap
with me to tonight ? " ~~~~
I looked at my phone and placed it aside
We were eating and chatting a storm the mood
was so light without Mpume around wow I could
even breath
Beep .. Beep massage
Zoe : looks like the lion miss you "
Me : hayi suka ... I'll see him later " I read the

723 | P a g e
massage
~~~I realized that my words can be really foul. I
ought to choose my words carefully. I realize my
mistake and am sorry for my behaviour .~~~
I placed my phone aside
Beep beep ~~ Why is it that in my heart I love you
so much but when it comes to speaking I need to
use gallons of mouthwash? I really need to rinse
my rudeness out of my mouth. Will you help me?
And I’m just trying to be funny so that you can
smile and forgive me. Deep down I really want
you to forgive me. ~~
That got me smiling a bit
My phone ringed and it was him
Me : Mnguni' I said after answering and walking
to a more quiet place outside the restaurant
Him : I miss you ..."
I rolled my eyed
Him : baby please I just need to talk to you "
Me: I can't I'm with the girl "
Him : few minutes ke "
Me : seconds its rude that you calling me while
you still going to see me later "
Him : I love your hair "
I looked around when I turned i bumped to his

724 | P a g e
chest
Him : you look beautiful "
Me " why you still talking on your phone? "
Hin" why you still talking on your phone ? "
I laughed and hanged up the phone
Me : ufunani LA "
Him : I miss you "
Me : hayi Mvelo "
Him: I told you we have plans tonight and you
making us run late "
Me : why you sideline me when you doing this
planes "
Him : Its called surprising my wife not side lining "
Me : I ha..."
Him : I know ... I know you hate surprises ... Let
me spoil you sthandwa
sami please "
I smiled and remanded Zoe words this morning
Me : ok ... But I need a clue .. "
Him : this is the clue ..."
He kissed me while I tip toe wrapped my hands
around his neck and kissed him back
Him : and whole lot more ... "
I blushed
.

725 | P a g e
Chapter 70

Mvelo ***
I'm nervous as fuck things are falling apart and not
going to plan or my way at all once again i allowed
my anger jealousy controlling being take over me
hurting my love in the process
Langa : you fucked up "
Me : its like i hurt her more then I make her happy
"
Langa : you obsessed with her and afraid that
she's to good for you ...your jealously clouds you
and you think every thing she does its because
she knows she can settle down with someone tan
times better then you ... She's young and
beautiful she acts like akakuncengile "
Me : that true "
Langa : that what I felt when Zoe and I started
dating ... I was stressed about her leaving me and
did not see how much she loved me and that
alone made me controlling we fought a lot ...i
even became more crazy when she was close with
you ... It took me years to finally realize that she's
just like a sister to you or your person as you two
put it "_

726 | P a g e
i chuckled
him :I don't think is about us being crazy but the
fear of you loosing the only true thing that
matters in your life "
Me : the thing is I'm not a particularly possessive
or jealous guy but that doesn't mean I'm cool with
other dudes making moves on my girl but Sbahle
drives me crazy I found myself walking down the
street with my arm around her claiming that she's
"mine". I would hope she feels the same way
about me but sometimes she just gives me mixed
signals and I get so mad "
Him : I just knew you got it bad when you address
her not by her but her tittle ' my wife' "
Me : what's that suppose to mean ?"
Him : man who professes calling his partner by
their given title like my fiance my wife my baby
mama my Queen are also saying in not so many
words that you claiming her--that she is yours .
you put everyone on notice... And professed out
loud that 'this one is mine and she's not available
for anything you were plotting and planning "
Me : what ?"
Him : it is what it is ... We all been there marrying
a beautiful girl makes all man possessive and crazy

727 | P a g e
"
I looked down and shook my head Sbahle got me
by the balls no doubt
Him : I can't believe you were planing on an
international wedding ... Paris bro really did you
think about the expanses?"
Me : any think for my Queen "
Him : yaa it would have been so romantic ..."
Me : yah to bad we can not do that now "
Him : I'm with Koko on this one ... Even though I
don't know her reason but dude that was way
over the top and cheesy "
Me : I realise that now ..and she would have
probably hated it Sbahle hates it when I do things
over the top for her ... She your typical down to
earth kind of a girl "
He nodded " so what did koko say "_he asked
Me : ... Aish koko told me about the importance of
isiko ...and plans changed "_
Me : I don't know how Sbahle will feel about this
"_
Langa: come down she will love it "
Come take a walk with me "
Me : I only have one shot to do this and do it right
but I fuckin blew it by having a fight with her on

728 | P a g e
the very same morning of when I plan to surprise
her with a wedding "
Him : its just a fight ... It will blow over she loves
you "
Me : now I'm even more scared to pop the
question "
Him : technically she's already married to you I
don't know why you want to go through this
trouble of asking her to marry you again while she
already your wife ?"
I looked at him
Him : ok I understand you want to make her day
special ... Building memories and those future
anniversary date I get you "
I shouldn't be asking her to marry me but since
we arranged to marry each other I feel like I was
robbed of that opportunity and worse part our
wedding day will always be constant reminder
that I lost my sister I can not celebrate my
anniversary with her while my heart bleeds for
the sacrifice my sister did for our family so by me
giving her a white wedding its just creating new
life memories I dialed her number again
Me : she is not picking up my call "
Him : I'll speak to Zoe to soften her up "

729 | P a g e
Me : thanks " fuck I love Sbahle so much that its
driving me crazy .. She takes me to cloud nine
with out even having sex with her she smart funny
ambitious courageous she feisty and speak her
mind she unapologetic and does not give a damn
what people think or say about her she just
perfect for me
He stopped and looked at me
Him : hay I meant to ask you this why must it
happen during Luna eclipse "
I breath out lout " my people are very cultured
and we believe in tradition more then anything
Sbahle is my chosen Queen our union was
arranged long before we were even born by our
ancestors its not about uniting two families or two
tribes but its dipper than that "
Him : how so ? "
I breath our loud
Me : it said that we need to consummate our first
night together
on the day were the moon meet earth the blood
moon represent birth of new life ... Its harvest
moon ... But just like mother earth gives life its
also takes life on that day a soul for a soul ... "
Him : what ?"

730 | P a g e
Me : if you remember well my wedding day last
year was on the day that the blood moon was
shining up in the sky that day I was suppose to
plant a seed in Sbahle ...but Pam passed on and
season changed and we fought to an extent that
we almost broke up ... In fact we did .. But I knew
that its not because I don't love her it has
everything to do with our union not being blessed
by our ancestors "
Me: so you telling me if you sleep with her now
she won't get pregnant "
Me: she will ... Buy she will not give me an heir "
Him : wow ..."
Me : I can sleep with any girl but should they fall
pregnant they will forever give me girls ... "
Him : like Sli gave birth to Zithelo a girl "
I nodded
Me : the reason why I abstained from sex and why
is this is so important to me is that I'm the last
leaving Mnguni ... I need Sons to carry my name
and make my kingdom grow ... If I don't do it right
its means my name will parish with me should I
die "
Him : fuck that deep "
Me: I told you its dipper than just another

731 | P a g e
arranged marriage story "
Him : I see ... So you basically telling me that you
have a season to have sex with her "
Me : I got a mark of beast the blood moon
represent birth of new life ... Its harvest moon ...
But just like mother earth gives life its also takes
life on that day a soul for a soul ... "
Him : what ?"
Me : if you remember well my wedding day last
year was on the day that the blood moon was
shining up in the sky that day I was suppose to
plant a seed in Sbahle ...but Pam passed on and
season changed and we fought to an extent that
we almost broke up ... In fact we did .. But I knew
that its not because I don't love her it has
everything to do with our union not being blessed
by our ancestors "
Me: so you telling me if you sleep with her now
she won't get pregnant "
Me: she will ... Buy she will not give me an heir "
Him : wow ..."
Me : I can sleep with any girl but should they fall
pregnant they will forever give me girls ... "
Him : like Sli gave birth to Zithelo a girl "
I nodded

732 | P a g e
Me : the reason why I abstained from sex and why
is this is so important to me is that I'm the last
leaving Mnguni ... I need Sons to carry my name
and make my kingdom grow ... If I don't do it right
its means my name will parish with me should I
die "
Him : fuck that deep "
Me: I told you its dipper than just another
arranged marriage story "
Him : I see ... So you basically telling me that you
have a season to have sex with her "
Me : I got a mark of beast blood of a beast and its
heart I need to imprint Sbahle on the day of blood
moon not only must she be my chosen one but
she must be my mate "
Him : what ? "
Me : for me and her its more like mating season
she is on heat so am I and we only got one short
to restore our blood line its only happens twice in
a year mid fall or late spring ... "
He thought for a second I guess his figuring which
month we in its late October
Him : dude who are you? "
Me : I'm the last grate white lion of Mnguni
people the last

733 | P a g e
descendent
of the cursed fallen kings of the Ngonyama tribe "
He looked at me with his moth wide open
Me : your phone is ringing "
Him : shit ! "
He answered talk for a while and fist bump the air
and hanged up
Him : we good to go everything is set for tonight
...and our guest They have arrived as well
Me : how did you get to organise all this in such
short notice "
Him : I'm a millionaire dude I used my power ...
Try that as well damn does it feel good "
I busy out and laughed
Him : go work your magic on her now I will take
the crew with my jet and don't fuck this one up
bro ... Please "
I nodded
Me : tanks again "
Him : don't mention it ... I know you will do the
sane for me " I ran back to the house took our
bags car keys and speed off
... I looked at the time I only got 20hrs to make
this right
Me : location of the girls " I called Langa and

734 | P a g e
asked him
Him : I already texted you "
Me : thanks "
.
.
I Was finally able to convince Sbahle about going
with me I could tell she was enjoying her self with
the girls she looked so beautiful with her hair
covering her left eye she pouted her lips and was
typing on her phone
Me : Sthandwa sami "
Her : mmmm "
She did not look up
Me : I love you "
She looked up and smiled I swear I saw heaven in
her eyes Sbahle got small mouth but a big smile
Her : I love you too "
She folded her legs and looked at me
" siyaphi manje "
I could not tell her that
Me : you will see soon ... "
I looked at her legs my eyes travel up to her thighs
that short is not doing justice on my dick right
now did I allow her to go to the mall dress like
this? shit I found my self shifting on my seat she

735 | P a g e
was talking and my ear was ringing her moans
when I go dip in her
Her : so .. " I felt her hands on my lap
Her : did you even hear what I was saying ?"
Me : sure of cause ... " I stood up what was she
talking about? I need to stop picturing her naked I
gulped down my drink I felt her hands on me
damn Sbahle no ...
Her : so what was I saying " she bit her lower lip
and looked up at me if I didn't know better I will
say she is seducing me but how can she do that
when I'm already her husbands.
within split second I was on top of her in the
couch and she was panting I was
devouring
her lips she was holding me tight we had some
one clearing there throats I jumped up from her
" sorry to disturb you Sir but may you buckle up
we about to land it was one of the pilots
Me : ok thank you "
He smiled and gave me that look that say you
lucky bustard I looked at Sbahle behind me and
we bust out and laughed the things she do to me
.
.

736 | P a g e
Chapter 71

Sbahle ***
The minute the car stopped I jumped out and
screamed i jumped up and down
" oooh my God Mvelo ... Ahhhhhh... "
I ran to him he picked me up and spined me
around
He placed me down and I kissed him
" ooh my God "
I looked around at the view not in million years I
thought I will come here I placed my hands on my
mouth this man can sure make a girl have a heart
attack he wrapped his hands around me hugging
me from behind
Him : you like it "
Me : Mvelo we in fuckin Sun City are you kidding
me I love it "
Him : come let's go inside " he pulled me by the
hand and yoo this what you only see in the
movies they greeted us and treated us like royalty
that we are we signed in at the front desk my
eyed were wondering around the Palace of the
Lost City
Me : ooh my God ! "

737 | P a g e
I wanted to run around in every corner of this
huge place it was so elegant and screamed
expansive ...
Me : thank you I love the surprise "
He side smile " who said this was the surprise "
Me : Mvelo you going to give me heart attack "
He laughed trowing his head back the elevator
looked like a room on its own Jesus Christ this
place its just out of this world when we arrived in
our room I screamed again our bellhop was in
stitches he is the guy that suppose to carry our
bag but he had just the door excess card hold up
where is our bags ? Who cares we in the Palace of
the Lost City I can stay naked in this place i don't
mind
Mvelo : sorry about that my wife get overly
excited at times "
Bellhop : I would be also if my husband booked
the presidential room for me "
Mvelo laughed he tipped him and the guy left I
was already in balcony and smiling to my self this
view ooh my good I'm loving it I turned around
and Mvelo was standing behind me smiling at me
Him : there nothing that brings me joy to see that
smile on your face "

738 | P a g e
Me : you make me so happy "
Him : I hate that I give you more tears of pain than
joy " I walked to him and wrapped my arms
around his neck tip toed and kissed him
Me : relationship are not easy ... We can not be
smooth sailing trough this we human we make
mistake and learn from them ... But know that I
love you yes you drive me crazy and I feel like
kicking your balls at time ... But there no other I
rather be with then you "
He chuckled and placed his forehead on mine
Him : I just want to live the rest of my life loving
you ... "
He turned me around to face the view
Him : look at the sky "
Me : wow ! "
At first it looked like fire works or light in the sky
but then i noticed that it Spelling my name and
was now glow-in-the-dark like stars
~~~Sbahle Bhengu will you marry me ~~~
I held my mouth what ! I turned around and found
him on his knees he had another ring on the box I
could not help but cry
Him : I love you so much. I just want to be with
you. We will laugh together we will smile together

739 | P a g e
we will cry together we will share our sadness and
happiness. There is no place beautiful for me in
this world but when you are with me every place
and everything looks beautiful. I just want to be
with you always.... Will you make me the happiest
man on the earth and be my wife "
Me : I am your wife " I said with sobs
Him : you were chosen from me they said you will
make the perfect Queen ... Not once I thought
that I will fall in love with you ... My family chose
you for me ... But I'm now here on my knees
choosing you for me .."
I cried again what is this man doing to me right
now
Him : baby remember your brother broke my
knees I can't stay in this position for long unless
you want to be married to a handicap "
I laughed and nodded
Me : of course I will marry you you big baby .. " he
took off my existing ring and put on my right ring
finger and the new one he put it on my left ring
finger it was bigger and heavy white cold trimmed
with gold and a huge diamond rock
He tried standing up but he flinched
I helped him up and he held my face and kissed

740 | P a g e
me like his life dependent on it
Him : I love you ... Ndlovukazi yami "
I smiled at him and kissed him this foreign filling
came rushing back his kiss always in light them
the worst way
Him : go take a bath I have placed reservation for
a romantic dinner "
Me : you have all this figured out and planned out
"
Him : anything for you my Queen thank you for
making me the happiest man alive "
Me : I love you ... '
Him : I love you more "
He ran me a bath while I took pic of my rock and
posted it ... Minutes later he came out with towel
wrapped around his waist the house there one he
was drying his hair
Me : I tough you running me bath "
Him :i did that and also took a shower ... Now go
we running late "
I looked at him his so sexy
He looked at his watch
Him : baby please go ... "
to think about it that all he has been doing today
is looking at his watch

741 | P a g e
Me : why don't we skip dinner ... " I took of my
top and short he swallowed hard
I made my way to him with my matching bra and
panty
Him : baby ... Sbahle ... God damit " I was kissing
him on his jawline on his neck
I made my way to him with my matching bra and
panty
Him : baby ... Sbahle ... God damit " I was kissing
him on his jawline on his neck my hands were
going up his abs ... "
Him : baby please stop .. Let's do this ... After ...
Fuck ... " my hands were grabbing on his shaft and
he was hard he pulled me to him and smashed his
lips on mine we slowly moved It was Victoria falls
falls down there on me and it was not helping that
I'm kissing a naked man .. That I want so bad right
now I felt him pushing me a bit
Me : what the fuck ?"
Him : geza ... " he was breathing so loud his eyes
red his boner sticking out what wrong with Mvelo
he clearly wants me but he does not want me... I
was about to bite his head off but he shut the
door on my face
Me : what wrong with you "

742 | P a g e
Him : I'll make love to you when we come back "
Me: Mvelo open this door and face me like a man
"
Him : I can't.... Geza please "
Me : screw that !!! "
Him : I'll make it up to you after dinner I promise "
I tried pulling the door but he was holding on the
other side
Me : I don't want dinner I want you damit
"
Him : I know ... God knows I want you two ... "
Me : open this door and have me then !! "
Him : I'm too horny I will hurt you ... Please baby
when we get back you will have you're way with
me I promise "
I clicked my tongue I was pissed I let go of the
door and jumped into a bath tub I was in no mood
for dinner I was just going stay here as long as I
can nxa
I took my long deserving bath I have never touch
my self before and right now I am tempted to do
it I thought that if I jump in the water it will stop
the twitching but warm water just slapped my
lady part and made it worse I've been with Mvelo
for almost 12 months now Ok I'm also counting

743 | P a g e
the time we were separated but what the hack
that's not point all I'm trying to say is that we
should have long had sex married for goodness
sake .
if he is able to make a baby when he was 18 years
than what will it stop him to give in to me he is
asexually active all his friends are he can never be
the odd one out .
I mean we We love each other and get on
amazingly well. However...he doesn't initiate sex
with me. he can be all over me hugging and
kissing me doing oral holding my hand saying how
pretty I look and how attractive he thinks I am.
This is all very well but I wish he'd show it in the
bedroom!
He values me so much " I don't want to hurt you "
" if we do with bow you might jot even walk " " I
want to make love to you not fuck you " brother
please i need you dick in what ever way it my
body and I committed my self to you to have me
any way you want ... I'm even acting all kind of
slutty and whore'sh trying to initiate sex with him
but his not budging I feel this is going to be root of
the problem in this marriage maybe I should have
not I agreed to marry him till he lay me down.

744 | P a g e
Just speak to him Sbahle they say haybo We've
spoken about this many times trying to get to the
root of the problem but with no luck! The funny
thing is that he has no difficulty's in getting erect
but when it comes to having sex...this is another
matter. He wants me as much as I want him
maybe I should pray about this or we should see
someone .
I clicked my tongue drained the water and I wat
meet by three lady's in my room oh the other lady
is gay any way they looked at me and smiled
Me : aahh hello "
They smiled " good evening Mrs Mnguni your
husband sent us to you to prepare your for your
date ... I'm siya your hair stylist this is Perl she will
do your make up and ma Thandi will do the fitting
of your dress "
Me :where is this husband of mine ?"
Ma Thandi : baby please take a seat we running
out of time you took long in that bathroom " she
giggled I was still like what the fuck is going on but
Siya was already on my hair
.
.

745 | P a g e
Chapter 72

Sbahle ***
" we done "
Siya turned me around I looked at my self in the
mirror and I almost touched my face but Perl
stopped me before I can I looked at my dress my
hair I was looking like a new person
Ma Thand: you look like an angel "
For a moment I I thought this dress was hideous
but when I got it on it was so beautiful it was a
long rose gold metallic dress with roses
embroidery
patens and lacy details the dress alone was
beautiful but wen you add it long with a lacy
embroidery tutu it looks like a wedding dress
something I will wear in my wedding day since I
hate the traditional white
Ma/T : just put it on you look beautiful on it "
Me: it looks like a wedding dress and difficult to
walk on "
Perl : I'll help you with it ... Beside you have an
exclusive dinner for two at roof top so who will
see you ... Just make you husband happy he

746 | P a g e
bought this dress for you to wear for him tonight "
Me : I don't know about .. This "
Siya walked in ... " time is up ... Come on girls ... "
They took there this ignoring to move this tutu
that had a tail on it was not your typical umbrella
or princess dress but it was long with tail augh for
once let me just make Mvelo happy and do as per
his his instruction
So here we are on the elevator going up and when
we got there the door opened I was meet by my
mother
Me : maka Sbahle ? "
Her : hallo baby ... "
" What are you doing here " I asked her as we
hugged she started crying and just like that I saw a
huge tent behind her
Me : what going on ? "
Perl gave her something she moved being me and
placed it on my head
Her : its your wedding day "
Ooh my God no ... What ?
She stood in front of me and I noticed that her
dress was the same colour as mine but just
different make and shape
Her : he loves you ... He has proven that to me

747 | P a g e
and to your brothers that to him its not just an
arranged marriage he truly loves you and I will be
horned to walk you down the Ilse
Me : mom ! "
Her: ungakulinge ukhale save those tears for
Mnguni ... I love you Sthandwa sami I'm so proud
of the women you are ... "
She kissed my mouth
Siya : its time ma "
I looked at mom and she nodded
Mom pulled the veil over my face she gave me a
my bouquet
it was white and cream roses she held my hand
tight the curtain
was raised and just on queue our song played I
just started to crying
John legend - All of you
~~~
Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning

748 | P a g e
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all all of me
And you give me all all of you
~~~
as I walking down the red Capet I notice that this
was secluded even I'm counting maybe 25 people
here my family his family and our friends
my eyes meet with Mvelo he was wearing
Designer Gold Wedding Suits he looked so
deliciously Handsome in his Slim Fit Suits rose
gold Jacket and Pants crispy white shirt he was
wearing matching Vest with no Tie or bowtie on
he was
casual but smart as always you yababa umuntu
Wami
My mom gave him my hand he cried oh God his
such a baby now his going to make me cry
Mom : take care of my baby Mnguni "
Me: with all my life ma "
He sniffed he looked at me and smiled with tears
in his eyes " you so beautiful " he mouth and I
looked down
" we are gathered here today ..." I looked up at
the person I know that voice Nkonzo so he was
telling the truth that his a pastor his so young

749 | P a g e
He continued doing his thing all along I was
looking in Mvelo eyes
we did not write our vowels we declare our love
everyday to each other no need to do it in front of
the crowd so we went with the Basic Protestant
Vows
Nkonzo : will start with you Sbahle you will say
after me ok .." I nodded
Langa gave me his ring
Nkonzo : I Sibahle Ntombikayise Bhengu ...
Me :I Sibahle Ntombikayise Bhengu take thee
Mvelo Trevor Mnguni_ to be my wedded husband
to have and to hold from this day forward for
better for worse for richer for poorer in sickness
and in health to love and to cherish till death do
us part according to God's holy ordinance; and
thereto I pledge thee my faith and myself to you."
I slide his ring on his finger I looked up and saw a
tear coming down so o decided to wipe it and
every one said
" ncooooh " Mvelo said his vows same as mine
and he slide a small wedding band on my finger I
guess it the missing piece of my engagement ring
he gave to me earlier
Nkonzo : by the power invested in me .. I now

750 | P a g e
pronounce you husband and wife ... Hayke Mvelo
you may kiss your bride "
He lifted my Vail up and kissed me every one was
clapping guy whistling and girls screaming every
one was on there feet and this man of mine was
going on and on till I pinched him and bite his lip
Me : hallo my mom is here "
Him : my grandmother is here "
I laughed and music started playing and mom
came and hug us so was his grandmother my
Aunts and friends
After a lot of congratulations the event
coordinator escorted then yo reception area
After the ceremony
After a lot of congratulations the event
coordinator escorted then yo reception area
After the ceremony the bride and groom often go
out for photographs with the bridal party
But we had no bridal party it was me and him
This place was elegantly decorated and it looked
like a garden wedding the lighting the flowers it
was just perfect
Me : a surprise wedding Mvelo a whole surprise
wedding and
you never gave me a clue about my wedding day "

751 | P a g e
I smiled for the camera
Him : you over think things you would never
agreed to this "
We change position instructed to sit like this stand
like this Mvelo lips was on mine the whole time
Him : you look beautiful in this dress "
I blushed and thanked him
Mvelo : can we sit down now man I believe my
wife is tired"
He did not wait for him to answer but called perl
with his hands ... Yo this man can command you
for days Perl came to me
Her : I'm just going to powder you nose and take
you Vail off "
I nodded
Her : you husband got a good taste in clouding
this dress fits you like a glove "
Me : he was not even wearing a tie on his
wedding day "
Mvelo : hay I can hear you " he was with the
photographer looking at our pics
I chuckled
Perl : that about it enjoy your night "
I smiled at her Mvelo held my hand
Him : we not going to stay long in here ok "

752 | P a g e
Me : why because its our reception and this
people came to support us "
Me : tough luck ... They got an open bar and
weekend in sun city all expenses paid what other
support do they need " he kissed me and grab on
my ass pulling close to him
Him : can you feel why we must leave early
tonight "
I swallowed hard feeling his boner
Him : I never brake a promise " I was hot instantly
.
I like how everything was in one place we move to
the other side where there was reception Mvelo
hired a D.J. and he was playing our jams that just
create an ambience in the venue we enter the
reception venue
Menzi : every one welcome Mr and Mrs Mnguni "
every one turned and clapped hands we were
greeted by Congratulations
Me: who made him the MC "
Mvelo : probably himself " we laughed
. once were on our seats Mvelo nodded to the
event coordinator the bar was opened and
starters were served.
Mvelo call Menzi

753 | P a g e
mvelo : how may I terms are in you list ? "
Menzi : 7 "
Mvelo : that Two much Mr MC ... Cut that list
short how many people are saying speeches "
Menzi : its a surprise wedding so its a open mic "
mvelo : INI .... No make the list now ... I don't have
time ..."
Menzi chuckled and shook his head Once the
starters have been cleared Menzi welcome
everyone and propose a toast to us he told them
its going to be an open mic but no long speeches
Wedding speeches are meant to be fun and short
but in most cases they tend to go on for a bit.
Speakers often embark on trips down memory
lane or spend time thanking particular guests for
coming from far and wide to be with the happy
couple on their big day. Babo Ncane was too
much Jesus talking about when i was growing up
who want to listen yo that finally the speeches are
finished I breath out loud the main course is
served. Mvelo was busy looking at his watch all
along he is sure in a hurry
Me: you look tense are you ok ..'
He smiled and kissed me and glanced at his watch
again

754 | P a g e
Me : another surprise for me in store ?"
Him : yep and it will blow your mind " I smiled and
his hands rubbed my thighs sending butterflies to
my tummy so
After dessert is eaten we were called to open the
stage with fist dance as Mr and Mrs so here we
are dancing in slow motion to “A Thousand
Years”—Christina Perri
Mvelo busy saying he wish this dress was off he
wish to lick Me all over I was panting and he knew
very well his effect on me he called Menzi and
told him that the next song must be " helo by
Beyonce " so that I can sing for him as requested
the song played and I sang along he was on cloud
nine we
enjoy the first dance to a song of our choice.
"May I have this dance " it was Mlondi Mvelo
nodded and I danced with him
Him : you look happy "
Me : I am "
Him : is he treating you oright ?"
Me : yes Mlondi he is treating me good "
Him : I'm just a phone call away you know ..."
Me : I know Bhuti Wami I know ..." I placed my
head on his chest his the closest thing to my

755 | P a g e
father and no doubt I will miss him
The floor was packed now and and every one was
dancing and my shoes were killing me so i moved
back to my seat
Him : are you still good "
Me : yes I am ..._"
He called Menzi ...
Menzi : hayi Mfethu you making my job difficult "
Mvelo: we need to cut the cake now ... "
Menzi : Dude people are still dancing "
Mvelo : make it happened or we leaving here
without cuting the cake "
Menzi huffed and walked away
Me : what the rush babe "
Him : you will see " he kissed my cheek minutes
later we were called to cut the cake and it was
served to our guest Mvelo was speaking to his
Koko and he nodded more like he was listening to
her Didy is to close with Bright and she has not
once talked to me yooo young love my brother
Nsika could not come he was attending some
business meetings being a king is pretty
demanding
Mvelo : babe it time for us to go "
I looked at him like really

756 | P a g e
He offered me his hand to hold what can I say it
written in black and white now that I'm officially
his I held his hand The MC announced our
departure and Typically we the newlywed couple
are the first to leave the reception. Guests join
together to form a tunnel with their hands
through which may may exit the room. As an exit
song we file through the living tunnel thanking
our guests along the way.
" I put that sexy number in you bag don't forget to
wear it tonight " Zoe whispered in my ear. I
laughed and rolled my eyes
Stepping outside I noticed clouds changing shades
looks like going to be full moon by midnight
.
.

Chapter 73

Sbahle ***
We took a helicopter ride from sun city to The
Timbavati Game Reserve is located at the border
line between Hoedspruit in and Acornhoek
I just believe its located in Mpumalanga Province.

757 | P a g e
the ride was quite Mvelo was miles away he will
do the rubbing of his hands together he only does
that when his nervous or hiding something from
me
I kept brushing his arm and he will smile and kiss
my forehead.
We finally landed and this place it was majestical
so peaceful it a safari lodge and it's reminded me
of the Ngonyama royal house the room looked so
earthly with Laps roofing and wooden finish my
man carried me inside bridal style and kissed me
passionately before placing me down
Me : baby this place it's so beautiful "
I said walking around he was already having a
drink and his face right now I could not read
Me : Mnguni is there something wrong ? '
He looked at his watch and held my hand
We set in couch outside over viewing the lake and
the night Sky
Him : there something I need to tell you "
Me : not bad news on my wedding night Mvelo I
can't deal "
He swallowed and looked into my eyes
Him : do you know why my Village is called the
Ngonyama village " ( the land of the lions) I shook

758 | P a g e
my head no
Him : this is where it all began ... This is where I
became a Mnguni "
Me : i don't understand here in Timbavati? "
He nodded
all I know is that The Timbavati land is famous for
the white lions that inhabit the area. First
discovered centuries ago they have become the
subject of much interest and debate over the
years... But what does that have to do with him ?
And his family?
He looked at his watch one more time and at the
sky as if he in a hurry or running out of time to
think about it that all he has been doing today .
Him : I need to tell you this before we
consummate our wedding night ... Because i for
one I don't know what going to happened once
our body collide "
Me : Mvelo kwenzakalani ? "
Him : my land is called the Ngonyama tribe
because of the curse in our blood we have the
mark of the white lion ... "
Me : what ?... Curse ?"
Him : this was done to protect my people and the
Mnguni blood line centuries ago we had a lot of

759 | P a g e
reveries and enemy's wars and fight was our daily
mean my grate grate grate grand father's meet up
with a powerful oath-breaker some call them
wizard or a witch
who marked him with the mark of the beast but
little did he know that having mark it means that
every Mnguni child that is born a boy will have it "
Me : I don't understand "
Him : you know the story of a wolf that bite a man
during full moon and man will be curse and shift
to werewolf every full moon "
I nodded " that only a myth "
He side smile " its not ... I have a blood of great
white lion the heart of the beast
and during this day of the blood moon it comes
alive "
Me : what ! Are you telling me that you are a
shifter ? "
He looked down and nodded I held my mouth he
was scared very scared that he even started
shaking this was hard for him to tell me he kept
on rubbing his hands together and was not
looking at me in the eyes
I held his hand and looked at him
Me : its ok ... I understand you were born with this

760 | P a g e
blood its not your fault Mvelo I love the man in
you you my life curse on not I'm stuck with you ...
Through sickness and in health I said those vows
few hours ago and I meant it
Him : thank you ... He looked at his watch again
and the sky "
Me : what wrong ... You keep looking at your
watch every second and at the sky what's going
on Mvelo ... " I knelled in front of him and held his
face allowing him to look at me
Him : I'm scared this is my first time with a women
on this very sane day ... I'm scared I will hurt you
... "
He told me about the importance of us
Making love today but he called it mating because
of the animal in him he told me that's the reason
why I'm always horny this day its because I'm in
season he seem to know more a lot about my
ancestral history then I do we were going to do
the deed or
mating when the moon becomes visible to tell
you I'm scared this is now planned there is time
and precision that we need to follow.. Its so
calculated and we not going with a flow its an
understatement than was terrified ...he spoke

761 | P a g e
about not being in control of the monster in him
that might devour me
Me : its ok I know you will not hurt me
intentionally " I pulled his face and kissed him he
pulled me up and moaned in my mouth every
time we in contact my hormone level rise up this
may be my advantage if I feel pleasure i won't feel
pain
Him : go take a bath I will join you shortly "
I nodded and made my way to the bathroom
I took of my dress and underwear getting under
the hot shower my mind was playing what he just
disclosed to me I was on panic mode
I'm terrified it was all ok when I wanted sex
without getting any I'm having anxiety attacks
now I'm having pre-sex jitters I'm not ready for
this ... I breathing out loud as I let the water run
on my body trying to block all this voices .
I felt his hand on me for the first time in my life I
froze at his touch he kiss my neck I keep telling my
self to relax his my man he turned me around
held me
tight I remember the man I fell in love with he was
hard and my body betrayed me I wanted him
He pinned me on the cold tiles and he roughly

762 | P a g e
kissing me his hands grab on my breast and he
Squeeze giving me pain and pleasure at the same
time
I let out moan his leaving trails of wet kisses on
my neck his softly handling my body and just like
that I relaxed
Him: I want you so bad "
Me : I want you too"
He scooped me up I felt his shaft too close on my
Nana I almost got a panic attack that his about to
enter me but minutes later we on the bed .
And as always he took me places with his tongue I
was screaming his name and holding to his hair I
found my self pushing him to go dip in my vj I felt
multiple pleasure I felt something sliding inside
me it was a bit painful but it made the twitching
stop and damn it felt Good
I realise he was using his figure he never did this
before but tonight we going all the way this was
Woaw ... I held on to the bed sheets his fingers
was deep inside me going in and out and his
thump was rubbing my clit this here is mad skills
he was smashing my lips and his other Hand was
playing with my nipple I was a ball of mess I have
climaxed so many times and I knew that he

763 | P a g e
enjoyed what he was going to me
Me : Mvelo .. Ooh mmmmmy God ..." My juices
splashed out
Me : ooh baby yes " I screamed out
loud I was shaking uncontrollable my knees so
weak I could not even feel my legs he did not wait
for me to come down from my high
He started rubbing up and down my wet pussy his
finger gliding over my clit as I moaned from the
pleasure. I opened my legs slightly more giving
him more freedom he went lower and soon
entered his middle finger into my pussy and I was
so wet and it felt so good He took his figure and
licked it he
turned my head to kiss him making sure I taste my
juices in him .
he rubbed my G spot I knew he wanted me to
squirt again this right here felt like
torture in a most beautiful way
soon I started moaning as he gave me my orgasm
and boom my ball of pleasure hit me hard that I
screamed his name My legs went weak again I
almost collapsed maybe I did I don't know
He removed his hand and I turned around to kiss
him telling him that it felt amazing he did not

764 | P a g e
respond and smashed his lips on mine biting my
lip
I know that all good things must come to an end
and I've had an incredible ride. I just wish we
ended it on the right note but table turned
because what came next I wish I never wanted sex
the way I did before his big he can't feet I was
running away from him on the bed he
He pulled me by my legs and got in between my
legs
Me:Mvelo ... " my voice was braking my heat was
beating outside my throat with fear
Him : relax Sbahle ... " I tried to push him off he
pined both of my hands above my head he was a
beast his eyes changed he was groaning I saw the
blood moon so big on the window as if its a
painting on the wall it looked so close
Me : Mvelo you hurting me "
He was kissing me his tip was just in my entrance
but it was so painful
Me : baby please be gentle .. " he was in his own
wor or battle with the beast inside him
I closed my eyes as he tried to push in
Him : look at me Sbahle " he commanded i have a
high Pain tolerance but this was the worst pain I

765 | P a g e
have ever felt
I felt a tear drop from my eyes I never picture my
first time having sex to be like this
He pushed again moaning so loud and pulling my
hair
Him : fuck .. Looks at me" he said grinding his
teeth
Me : kubuhlungu Mvelo "
Him : shuuuuu I'm sorry " there was nothing
sincere in his voice I did not know this man I
wanted him off me i
I couldn't look at him
" I'm sorry ... " he pushed I was screaming he was
breathing heavily in my ear he was half way he
was breathing heavily
Him : look at me sweetheart please "
I shook my head I wanted to close my legs it was
burning it felt like thousand knifes were slicing me
there he held my head in position our eyes locked
and he did the last push I felt something pop or
braked I cried I screamed I wanted to get him of
me I was biting and punching hi my tears were
blinding me
Him : I'm sorry... Its going to get better ...
Phephisa Sthandwa sami "

766 | P a g e
Me : stop Mvelo .. Get off me ... Please you
hurting me ... " he was dip inside of me not
moving but I felt his big cock on my uterus
Me : I'm in pain Mvelo ... Please "
Him :hle - hle ... Babe ... Stop and look at me "
He held my head and i looked at him he was also
crying ...
Him : focus on me my face ... I love you ... "
Me : its hurt ... "
Him : I know but let me make it feel better ...
Allow me to do this ... "
I was not buying it
Him : look at me ... Don't over think it look at me "
he kissed me sending mixed emotions to my body
he started to move and that pain came rushing
back again he was moving slow but I could still
feel it like he was slicing me with blades splash me
with hot water mixed acid on my Nana He had a
monster cock Imagine a can of soda except longer
and curved This was my first time having sex and
this man had no mercy I was not prepared He
gave me no warning I soldiered on trying not to
cry to much but this missionary position he was
killing me because he had power to move my legs
up he will kneel and pull Me to him he will pin my

767 | P a g e
legs on my chest he will spread them wide open
I had no way to escape I was his meal
and I swear that was the worst pain I’ve ever been
in. Imagine someone shoving a curved can of
Monster energy drink into a small knife wound.
That would’ve felt nicer. I had to stop him from
moving fast because it felt like being torn in half. I
made the biggest mistake you can make by trying
to hold him with my legs but I was wide open for
him and he dive in
"Mmmmm ... " he groaned loader
My walls were stretching and tearing
The pain was not bearable..
Him : I'm sorry Sthandwa sami .." He said picking
up his pace
He was moaning clearly he was enjoying himself I
on the other hand i was crying
I was waiting for pleasure to kick in but no luck
his groans became louder and louder he was
moving fast I looked at him I could not recognise
him I took it all in the pain the bit of pleasure that
comes and go
he owned my body he was ramping on my poor
pussy my legs in the air he was going dip he was
cursing and started tossing me around like a pan

768 | P a g e
cake in the pan my voice was gone I only had
silent cries now taking in the pain praying that he
finish.
he had put a pillow under my tummy and was
having me from the back I felt my pussy tear up
this the most painful position
Me : Mvelo please..." I cried pleading with him it
fell of deaf ears he was going fast his grip on my
waist made it hard for me to escape
I buried my face on the other pillow and cried
if you have seen the episode of game of thrones
Khaleesi daenerys and Drogo wedding night when
she had sex for the first time That how i feel right
now . he will bite me pull my hair strangled me
roughly squeeze my breast I'm sure my body has
bruises by now I don't know when he came but I
know we never took a brake to cuddle he was on
top of me till the sun came up ... My first night
with my husband was a nightmare.
.
.
.

769 | P a g e
Chapter 74

Sbahle ***
I was woken up by loud lion roar it was as if it was
inside this room my head was so heavy my body
dead tired the sound got louder and louder I
slowly opens my eyes and I was meet by a pride of
white lions seating outside patio I wanted to lift
my head and look at what happening I was not
sure if I was dreaming or if it was happening for
real my eyes were to heavy that I closed them
again and allowed the loud road to be my lalabye
Later on I felt someone lifting me up I slowly
opened my eyes I was meet by Mvelo face he
looked worried sad
he placed me on bath tub the minute the water
touch my lady parts I wanted to cry ...
Me :ishuuuuuu" he slowly help me seat down.
The pain was written all over my face as I frown.
Last night event came rushing back I felt his hands
wiping my tears he was avoiding eye contact with
me he stood up and walked away I was so
emotional that I just broke down and cried the
bathtub had herbs roots and twigs I'm guessing it
suppose to cure me down there or something .

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I looked into space trying to understand why
Mvelo lost control last night disregard my plea my
cries overlooking the pain he was inflicting on me
Zoe told me that There are two main tales that
get spun around having sex for the first time. One
that as long as you have sex with the right person
it'll be magical and beautiful. And two no matter
who you have sex with for the first time it's bound
to be awkward and painful as hell ... I never
thought it will be like that with me and Mvelo I
wanted the magic the sparks and stars but Mvelo
took me to hell instead.
... Why is there so much hype in intimacy when it
hurt like this ... he took my pride in the most
brutal way imaginable ... I cried thinking about
how I told him to stop I told him its hurts
“I'm sorry ... " that what he kept saying in the
middle of consensual sex. His hands firm on my
hips his breathing ragged in my ear. I turn my
head to the side twist my mouth into a frown.
He’s having trouble getting off trouble in stopping
he tells me He’ll finish soon he promises One
quick thrust that lasted hour's.
“It hurts” I tell him.
“shuuuui baby?” He says without pausing. There's

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a slight annoyance in his voice as he continues
“just relax hle -hle " he kissed me trying to
convince Me
Although I have a pretty high pain tolerance I did
expect some pain. I mean that’s what i was told:
'There will be pain when you lose your virginity '.
But what I felt it was more than pain it was worse
The pressure didn’t feel good it just felt Painful
very painful I had been aroused enough even
climaxed multiple times but still pain
overpowered pleasure.
I don’t remember the feel of his hands I don’t
remember his caresses I don’t remember the
words he said to me after we started having sex. I
do remember his heaviness pressed against me
the way he pinned me down by the very act of
what we we're doing; his erratic persistent
insistent movements his loud pleasure and my
pain. I remember speaking this quiet muffled
sentences " Mvelo please " But it’s unclear — I
will remind myself later for days for weeks for
years — why did I exactly have to say that " mvelo
please " . It’s too noncommittal it does not give
him a warning that he must stop its more likely
saying I'm enjoying the deed as he was ?

772 | P a g e
“Just let me finish” he says. “It won’t be much
longer ... Let me give you pleasure " he takes his
time with no hurry in the world . He's slumping on
top of me and though I'm not sure why but the
pain was too much i could not help it I’m starting
to cry again When he sees me he's angry hurt sad
I can't read him Why didn’t I tell him I was crying
and why didn’t I say I wanted him to stop? Put my
feet down maybe convince him even more maybe
he would have ... He feels weird now now he feels
guilty. He can't look me in the eyes
I have ruined this for him for us he told me this
will happen I trusted him as my husband I gave
him my body my pride its my duties as his wife to
give him an heir but will sex always be like this
with him ?
I didn't here him come in but I felt him rubbing a
sponge so gentle all over my body he bath me
dried me curried me to the bedroom it looked
clean with new linen he than took body oil and
massage and buttered my body
" mmm ouch " I flinched when he ran his hands on
my back and my neck I felt his hands running and
tracing on my back he was breathing out so loud
he took a gown and helped me wear it he took a

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tray of food it was Oat meal fruit salad and English
breakfast with tall glass of juice I looked at the
Trey and looked at him no words were spoken
and he was looking down the whole time it killed
me to see him like that
Me : M....Mv ...Mvelo " i finally said I tried to hold
him
He stood up placed the food on the side table and
he stood by the sliding door looking outside I tried
to stand up but I felt my legs getting weak and my
lady parts still sore and burning
Me : ouch ... " I said falling back on the bed ... He
moved fast as a lightning and helped me get
under the covers he set next to me and feed me
the fruit salad i pushed the spoon away as a sign
that I'm full
Me : I need pain killers please ... "
He gave me a glass of juice and i shook my head I
know realize that I'm in pain my head my body my
lady parts .. I'm exhausted to a point where I can't
keep my eyes open there was a lot I wanted to say
but I words could not come out I felt him place his
hand on my abdominal areas and rubbed it he
was hugging me from behind
Him : I'm sorry Mabhengu "

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His words alone just ignited Tears on my eyes he
cuddle me as I cried in his arms
.
.
Mvelo ***
When the sun came I noticed that Sbahle was out
of it I felt like something was moved from my eyes
I was back to my seances memory from last night
events came flashing back and giving me a
splitting headache
" ooh my God what have done !! " I held my
mouth
I jumped up of from the bed and notice blood ...
Lot of blood on the sheet I rushed to Sbahle I felt
her pulse she was still alive but the bruises the
marks oh her body made my heart stop for a
second.
I notice a lion imprint on her forearm sh's finally
my mate ...I should be happy but how can I when I
left her in this state . The imprint looks like dust
paw print but not like dust the imprint can not be
removed its like a birth mark
I ran my hands on her face " I'm Sorry I didn't
mean to ... If i only knew it will hurt you like this I
would have not agreed to this "_ I wiped my eyes

775 | P a g e
and I decided to remove the bloody sheets
making sure I don't wake her up it scared me that
her body was lifeless when I moved her after
placed her on the clean linen I went to my bag
took out herbs koko gave me that Sbahle will
need to bath on
I was disturbed by lion roaring on my door step I
open the sliding door and found a pride of white
lion two males and four lionesses when my eyes
meet with the male lion it bowed it head and set
down and just on queue the other followed and
set down my phone started ringing and I rushed
out to answer it the lions started to roar and I
knew that might wake up Sbahle no doubt damn
it
Me: hello " answered in the bathroom busy
preparing Sbahle's bath water koko started calling
out my clan name
~~~Mnguni mpangazitha lwandle a liwelwa li
welwa yizi nkonjane ze zulu wena o wezi nyawana
e zi shlosha e zi hamba e shlabathini so lwandle
~~~
She was chanting and going on and on
Her: oooh walivusa ikhaya mntanami siyabonga " (
you have rebuilt your father house )

776 | P a g e
I had no idea what she was talking about I was
more worried about Sbahle's state I probably
never going to make love to her if her first
experience turned out to be such a nightmare yet
again my ancestor have fucked me over what if
she wakes up and leaves me or worse cry rape she
got bruises and and most probably sore on her vj I
could go down for a long time she told me time
and time again that I was hurting her but the
beast inside of me devoured her the sex was raw
and disgusting for a first timer how am I going to
say sorry to her how am i going to fix this fuck I
hate being Mnguni !!
Me : koko Sbahle she .. She's hurt I hurt her "
Her : she will be fine use the herbs I gave you "
Me : koko you don't understand I hurt her
emotionally she's scared for life ... I hurt her ... It
was not suppose to be like that .. She was pure
koko ... I deflowered her in the most brutal way
ever "
Her : she was chosen for a reason have faith in her
"
Me : what if she leaves me " or arrest me no one
will believe that I'm cursed and have a beast that
comes out during eclipse

777 | P a g e
She laughed she clearly is in happy mood today
the laughing praising and thanking me hallo I just
fucked my wife .. brutally fucked her and she
bleed she got bruises. She probably can't walk
ooh God she will need to pee .. Jesus that shit will
burn her
Her : uyangizwa kodwa "
Me : koko I need to go "
Her : Mvelo Awukhule phela I'm talking to you
and your head is miles away ... I hear lion roaring
in the background ... "
Me : I'm sorry I'm just worried about Ndlonkulu ...
Yes there are lions here there have been roaring
for a while now On my door step "
Her : do you know what that mean ? "
Me : I don't know koko ... There is a lot going
trough my head right now "
Her : your wife is carrying a Mnguni heir.. That's
why the lions are there "
I felt my head spinning my body started to feel
heavy I found myself crouching down
Me : what ?"
Her : remember the story I told you about the
reason why your father was summoned to come
back home after spending years in the UK "

778 | P a g e
Me: because my grandfather woke up one
morning with a pride of lion on his door step "
Her : and that was the day you were conceived ...
"
I felt tears of joy burning my eyes ... I fell down on
the floor and sank down
Her : looked like we expecting an heir ...
Siyabonga Mnguni ... Umphathe kahle
umaBhengu she our only hope for surviving "
She praised me again and hang up I placed my
hands on face ooh my God I created a human
again after sometimes the noise died down the
lions were gone called room service for food I
made my way to her and lifted up gently not to
wake her she opened her small eyes but I was to
ashamed to look at her.
When she flinched the minute I placed her on a
bath tub I felt pain in my heart her lone tear rolled
down her cheek that alone made me want to take
away the pain from her or better yet erase her
memory she kept on searching for my eyes but I
avoided eye contact
I walked out and cried outside it pains me that I
put her in such traumatic experience yet I claim I
love her I wiped my tears as soon as room service

779 | P a g e
walked in I decided to give my wife a bath maybe
try talking to her i found her in the very same
position I left her in looking into space.
Where do I start ? what to I say ? I gently gave her
a sponge bath she just looked at me I dried her
and curried her to our bedroom when I was
Applying body lotion on her body I saw scratch
marks on her back I did this to her she flinched
and asked me for pain killers I just looked down I I
can't give her that she expecting so all I can do is
try to heal her with herbs at least
She wanted to talk but shame guilt and regret was
overpowering me I hate telling her I'm sorry I just
want to spend my day loving her with minimum
hiccups after feeding her I knew that she was
weak and exhausted I decided to spoon her and
ran my hands on tummy
Me " I'm sorry MaBhengu" when she hurt I hurt
and when she cry I cry too we cuddle up and I
allowed her to cry .
.

780 | P a g e
Chapter 75

Sbahle
I woke up with a feeling of some one looking at
me I slowly opened my eyes and I was meet by his
gaze the minute our eyes meet he looked down
how long will he keep doing this ? I hate it when
he has Emotional detachment towards me it
does not just happen out of the blue; there is
always something behind it or triggering it
And the issue here is what happened last night .
Its like we both have this inability or fear of talking
through the issues he did something that he will
not forgive him self for I on the other hand I can
not stop how much he hurt me and took my pride
as if I was some random fuck of his.
This kind of disconnect I know may last for weeks
if we do not address it we
both know there is something wrong but we too
hesitant to bring it up because of the fear once
reaction.
I suddenly had this urge to pee and now the
problem is getting up my body is so tired it like I
was hit by a train I started moving around slowly
on the bed trying to sit up straight there is still no

781 | P a g e
much feeling on my legs Mvelo was by my side in
an instance and help me to seat up he smelled
good as always but still avoided eye contact even
when I touched his hand
Me : I need to use the bathroom "
He did not think twice but scope me up and
curried me to the bathroom he placed me on pan
and looked at me
Me : may I have privacy please " he debated it for
a while in his
head and stepped out I looked at my thighs I had
black and green bruises which makes me think if
my thighs look like this what does the rest of my
body look like
" ahhhh....". Oh father God my pee burnes so
much I wanted to jump but was to weak
Mvelo : are you ok..." He asked walking in I was
biting on my lips so much that it might start to
bleed this man was standing over me and looking
at me with panic
Me: just go Mvelo I'm fine "
Him : you not ... And I'm not going any where "
I could tell that this burning feeling down town is
caused by rough penetration I went trough last
night when I was done I tried to rolled a tissue but

782 | P a g e
Mvelo got to it first ooh my God is he about to do
what I think his going to do yes he just did he
wiped me I feel like his making me a baby right
now
He tried lifting me up but I stopped him
Me : just stop ... Stop please ... I can walk on my
own "
He did not listen to me he does that a lot this days
have his way with me he curried me and placed
me on the bed he went back to the bathroom and
flushed the toilet he came back with warm towel
and spread my legs
Me : wenzini ? "
He did not answer me but gently wiped my nana
... He pulled the covers over me I huffed and
pushed the covers away from me
He opened the sliding door stepping out and
called room service ordering food I wanted to go
outside I wanted to feel the sun and breeze on my
skin this is my honeymoon I can not be stuck in
bad all day
so I decide to try and stand down I slowly tried
standing up I knew that I need to walk like a frog
legs spread open because fuck my pussy is still
sore ...

783 | P a g e
Every step I took I bite my lip and prayed I don't
fall or hurt my self even more
Him : Sbahle what are you doing up !!" his voice
was too commanding
almost making me lose balance
Him : what are you doing ? Sbahle you going to
hurt yourself "
Me : I want to go outside and if you didn't notice
I'm already hurt !"
He breath out loud he tried to lift me up and I
stopped him
Me : just help me walk please "
Him : Sbahle ... You going to hurt ... "
Me : please i need to move using my legs "
He huffed held my waist and i held on to him
walking was a mission but I need to push past the
pain he finally placed me on my seat after what
felt like hours walking outside he was about to
dash off but I stopped him
Me : Mnguni ... "
He stopped
Me : please sit down .. "
He set on the other seat
Me : please come sit next to me ..." I was seating
on two sitter one of those grass outdoor couches

784 | P a g e
Me: we need to talk .. " he looked down and rub
his hands together he can't keep avoiding me like
this and this thing of him not talking I can't deal
with it
Me : talk to me please ... "
He just looked into space and thought for a while
Him : I'm tired of apologizing to you ... I'm tired of
hurting you ... I hate that I make you cry more
than I make you laugh I'm angry at my self
I feel ashamed for what I had done. I don’t have
any excuses or what so ever
I should have not agreed to this whole blood
moon bull shit I hurt you so much that I hate my
self for for being a man your husband ...I should
be protecting you for goodness sake !!
I regret getting in between your legs and taking
your pride the way I did I wish I had control over
my actions I wish I could turn back the hands of
time and show you what my heart and soul had
prepared for you for this night my goal is to give
you the stars as the moon not the monster that
ripped you apart and left you with traumatizing
experience.
I take full responsibility for myself and my actions.
I wouldn’t pawn this to you again I did right by my

785 | P a g e
family and my ancestors and put you in harms
ways yet again
I’m sorry it your first night with me turned out to
be ... Oh my God ...the thought of it alone its in
human ... "
He held his face I'm sure his crying ... I was a
crying mess as well here I was thinking that I was
the only one hurting but this man here is going
trough the worst he was never in control of his
action his worst fears came to life he hurt me yet
again
Me ; The first to apologize is the bravest. The first
to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the
happiest ... Can we move past on this it destroying
you ... "
He shook his head
Me : Mvelo ... Baby please look at me "
He shook his head
Me : Mvelo please ! " I started to cry out loud
He held his ears
Him : please please ... Sbahle don't cry like no...no
! " he stood up trying to walk away
Ooh my God its triggered events from last night I
held his arm I hurting my self in the process but
fuck that Mvelo is emotionally hurting my pain

786 | P a g e
can be on pause.
How we going to move past this my pain can be
on pause.
How we going to move past this his sinking dip to
a dark whole i can't allow that no I just can't
Me : Mvelo Trevor Mnguni look at me now "
He wiped his face with his hands
Me: ngiyakucela "
He slowly lifted his head up and looked at me his
eyes red his nose red he looked pale he looked
worry like the weight of the world is in his
shoulders if I didn't know better I would say his
been crying for sometime now I hate seeing him
like this
Me : Mnyeni wami You’re my backbone. You’re
my blessing. You’re a piece of my heart. You’re
the air I breathe. And you’re the strongest person
I know and I’m so sorry for having to put you
through this "
Him : Sbahle its not your fault "
I shook my head
Me : its not yours either ... You told me that you
not sure what was going to happened you had no
control of the astral projection that took place
you're a good man because everything you do you

787 | P a g e
do it to put our family first this had to be done
and yes its hurt but I'm willing to put it past me
because I will be damn to loose you in this
emotional battle you in right now you're slipping
into the unknown and I hate that I'm going to be
your nightmare for sometime now but let me be
strong for you please Mnyeni Wami we are Team
when you hurt I hurt too can we move past this
please
Him : I'm really sorry ..."
Me : I know baby you do so now can I have my
husband back "
He gave me a weak smile and he took my hand
and kissed it ... His not ok I can see it I can feel it
and I have no clue on how to help him I change
position and shifted to place my head on his chest
his to tense his brushing my hair and we get lost
in our own thoughts.
Food came and he forced me to eat it was too
healthy and I wanted meet oily and spicy food but
all I ate was green stuff and with less meat
Him :i have prepared your bath water " he said
sitting next to me
At least we talking now that Good his still not
himself but I'm not giving up on him

788 | P a g e
Me: herbal bath ?"
He side smile and nodded
Him : it will make you feel better ... Help you with
the bru... "
He swallowed and looked down I place my hand
on his face
Me : Mnguni I'm fine ... Stop stressing about what
happened last night "
Him : have you seen how your body looks ... What
will people say if they see this marks on you
Sbahle i inflicted pain in you "
Me : it was not intentionally ... I know that and
you know that "
Him : its feels like I forced my self in to you I broke
you Sbahle damn it you can't even walk "
Me :Mvelo !"
Him : just say it I'm a monster ! "
Me : stop putting words in my mouth "
Him : sbahle "
Me : just stop beating yourself about this will get
trough this together it means I must hide here till I
feel and look ok so be it ... But I'm not going to
tolerate you crying and feeling like this its our
honeymoon for goodness sake can you stop
acting like we at a funeral !! "

789 | P a g e
Him : Sbahle dont raise your voice at me "
Me : than stop having this pity party and let's
create memories "
He opened his mount and closed it
I was in his arms again and we were going to the
bath room
He placed me into a bath tub and it still sore but
not as it was before I looked at my arm there was
a dark paw print
Me ; Mvelo "
He was giving me a sponge bath
" yini le " I asked him
Him : an imprint ... "
Me : a what ? "
Him : an imprinting is an involuntary lifetime
attachment that binds the beast to a human mate
according to our history .The werelion is then
bound to protect and please this person for the
remainder of his life."
Me : in other words I'm bound to you for life "
Him : you not only my chosen wife you also my
mate now
He kissed my forehead
Me : wow ... So I'm not going to have any desires
for any other man "

790 | P a g e
I was trying to light in up the mood but this man
was not bugging he hasn't laughed today no kiss
me in the mouth or touch me his just here but not
here
Him : Mabhengu "
His commanding voiced warned
Me: I'm just joking ... But seriously not even a
little "
Him : if you have a death wish continue speaking
like this "
He was getting worked up this man of mine is so
jealous
Me: ooh come on I'm bound to be the beast mate
for the rest of my life yeey!"
I said rolling my eyes
Him : I'm different ... I do it different... "
I turned and looked at him I didn't understand
what he was talking about
Him: Sex is bio-mechanical and instinctive we all
know how to do it. Love making is slow sensual
not goal oriented which allows us to experience
the metaphysical being of oneness this type of
love making is truly an art in itself... I was hoping
to show you that on our wedding night but ...
let get you out of this water its getting cold now "

791 | P a g e
I wanted him to go on but I still believe that sex
intimacy subject is no go zone for now we just
need to focus on getting better I guess .
.

Chapter 76

Mvelo ***
" stop Mvelo you hurting me "
I pinned her down her loud screamed and wailing
sirens
cries did not faze me or made Me stop I was
sweating breathing heavily on top of her
adrenaline was sky high I was moving fast
humping fast and furiously the only sound that
made me go faster was our skin smacking and
slapping to each other she was screaming in pain I
looked at her face that was smudge in tears and
mucus she turned her head refusing to look at me
I pulled her hair tight positioning her to look àt me
" please .... Stop ... Please "
Me : look at me "
Her : uyangilima "... She cried even more
I found my self strangling her she was making to

792 | P a g e
much noise the crying was getting to me now my
grip so tight on throat
her eyes turned back and she was gasping for air I
looked at my hands they had blood on I look at
bed it was red with a her pool of blood I looked at
Sbahle she was unconscious her lifeless body just
looking at me I tried yo shake her up she was
gone
Me : Nono .... No ! Sbahle wake up wake up
please ... No ! "
I rose up from the bed sweating and breathing
heavily I looked beside me Sbahle was slipping
peacefully this dreams are tormenting me now I
can't sleep close my eyes with out reliving what
happened last night I'm even afraid to touch my
wife she tells me she is ok and we must move pass
this but how can I when I'm still relieving in that
nightmare every time when I look at her .
I jumped off the bed I was angry I was mad but
mostly I'm sad and I wish I can forget but how
because the men that slept with my wife I did not
recognize him
I hate this curse in me I hate that I'm Mnguni I
hate that this ancestors have way of fucking my
life up for the sake of culture belief and putting

793 | P a g e
family first what about me my happiness ! ...
Sbahle Is my happiness never wanted her first sex
experience to turn out like this .
I felt my body heating up I felt him coming shit ...
This always happened when I get angry fuck not
this animal which destroyed my first night with
my wife
I stepped out side trying to stop the shift the
moon shined so bright that it triggered the curse
to resurface ... I felt my bones cracking I kneeled
down and screamed and just like that the beast
took over the paws made the earth shake when I
stepped on it ... I started to run this will be good I
need to let it out of my system ....
.
.
Sbahle ***
I don't know when sleep came but I woke up with
a cold breeze hitting my face
Mvelo must have left the air con on or windows
open I also wanted to go pee now aish Mvelo
mani i was in deep sleep and was not planning on
waking up
I decided to just sleep it through I turned around
hoping to land on my men's chest but was meet

794 | P a g e
by an empty bed i frowned
Me : mvelo .. " I mumble but there was no answer
I ran my hands on the cold bed covers
Me: Mvelo ' I said a little bit louder I was
expecting " yes baby ... I'm Here my love "
Buy the sound I heard was scary I sounded like a
dip growling sound ok I'm in a bed alone with light
turned off and there is something in this room I
could feel it I could feel it breathing my only fear
now was to turn around
Me : Mvelo?... I said now trying to confirm my
fears " the sound filled the room again no... No...
No ! Mvelo you can't do this to me I'm not ready
not now I felt a drop of pee wetting my
underwear
I slowly turned with foggy eyes from sleep and
week eyesight I doubt I will see any thing in the
dark but I saw something moving from the
shadows i tried seating up straight but my back
was still painful
Me : ouch I cried ... "
What a emerged
from the shadows was enough to make me want
to wet my bed I held my breath
Me : please ... Don't come close ! "

795 | P a g e
It stopped it was white big with thick big mane it
brown gold'ish eyes looked at me and I looked at
it I got a grate White frickin big lion in my room
should I be scared ? hell yes must I be running for
the hills ?yes if I was fit to do do I I would have my
mind was panicking but my heart was telling me
relax Sbahle this is great Ngonyama you fuckin
lucky to be in the same room with him
Lions are large animals but he was very big it was
about 11 feet long and 5 feet tall I'm looking at
hybrid because I see Mvelo on this beast
Its white mane covered the shoulders chest and
part of the back of this beast ooh my God his so
beautiful am o crazy no ... He is part of my
husband anyway so ya let me admire him
Me : Mv....mvee...lo? "
It took a step to me it stood tall next to my bed
right now I felt like an ant ... " ooohmmmm" its to
close I held my breath and
It did the breathing with its nose I'm not sure it it
saying hello or you look good to eat ...
" Mvelo I'm going to kill you if you try and bite me
... "
It moved and tilted it head to the left I started
sneezing it like it was realising dust or something

796 | P a g e
aish i forgot I'm allergic to cat that the reason I
started laughing so hard that I even forgot that
there is a beast in front of me our eyes looked at
each other and i found my hand moving towards
it it slowly bowed it head it closed it eyes the
minute I touched it head this was a good feeling
to me It looked at me one more time and turn
around and dash off I had this huge smile on my
face
" wow "
.
.
I was dressed in long PJ and fluffy sleepers I was in
bathroom doing my hygiene process surprisingly I
woke up with Mvelo sleeping in next to me I did
not want to wake him up so I took baby steps to
the bathroom I looked my self in the mirror his
hand prints were still clearly visible on my neck
and the bite marks I lifted my top up and what I
saw was disturbing I swallowed hard I heard him
mumbling something
I made my wat to the bedroom he was sweating
talking on his sleep he was calling my name and
saying NO .. His having a nightmare I walked to his
side gentle shaking him

797 | P a g e
Me: baby ... Mvelo "
He was panicking and moving his head
vigorously
his trying to wake up but the dream his having is
consuming him I roughly shook him
He rose up " Noooo!" He screamed breathing out
heavily
Me : its ok its just a dream "
Him : Sbahle ... There was so much blood '
Me : its ok ...its just a dream "
I pulled him to hug he squeezed me so tight as if
he doesn't want to let me go
Him : I'm sorry my love ... I'm sorry "
Me : its ok ... I'm here its ok "
Chapter 77

2 Weeks later
Sbahle ****
Its been almost two week at the lodge and I must
say the honeymoon was not what I expected
firstly my first experience with Sbahle meets dick
became the worst night of my life not only did
that leave me bedridden for days but it left me
bruised and emotionally scared for life .
I wanted to forget about that it is what it is

798 | P a g e
because I love my husband more then anything in
this world I just wanted to sweep every thing
under the carpet like all good wife do .
Only one problem was that Mvelo was still stuck
in that night his reliving that night every day he
has problems with sleeping due to nightmares he
tells me his ok but that just a front he is in some
dark whole and I can't seem to get him out and
his sinking even deep now since he has found a
new copping mechanism which is alcohol.
I called koko and told her about this well if you
married problems in your marriage are not only
yours but your families too especially my in-laws
she said we must take a next flight back we need
to consult with abaphansi i told Mvelo four days
ago and its always been tomorrow tomorrow ...
But fuck now I'm putting my feet down we going
tomorrow !
We all have dreams. Sometimes they give us joy
while we're sleeping and other times they ruin our
rest. Though many people do not pay much
attention to their dreams and often don't even
remember them i believe there is always a deeper
meaning behind each dream
Psychologists suggest that our dreams may be the

799 | P a g e
mind's way of alerting us to unresolved issues
while psychics argue that our dreams hold
important clues about the future.
African traditional healers may say that dreams
are a platform for communication with our
ancestors. But Mvelo does not want to hear
anything to do with his ancestors and calling ever
since that day he brush it aside he says his done
with pleasing the dead and they turn around and
shit on him his angry too angry and his sinking to
the unknown and this dreams his having are
making me believe that they is a certain universal
meaning behind it and his actions now .
I ran my hands on his face he only sleep
peacefully when his laying on my lap I look at him
and smile kissing his forehead I love him and
seeing him like this hurts me so much
Me : Thank you for being you for sharing your love
with me..for inspiring me to accept myself..for
helping me see the unique beauty in
imperfection…for showing me that love is
something you do; something not just to be said
but also to be shown I kissed him again and brush
his hair humming a song
I smiled thinking about where it all began We had

800 | P a g e
an arranged marriage which means we had a
couple of dates over a couple of days which he
insisted we do and I
decided that it would be fine since will be
spending our lives together. A decision most
people spend most of their lifetimes mulling over.
In our very first meeting he rocked up wearing no
shoes but looked cute
we found that we had mostly nothing in common.
Never a good sign when you’re shortlisting
potential life partners. However we went for a
second date which was kinda a coincidence Mvelo
was persistent never took No for an answer and
surprisingly it turned out good well optimism
played it part .
Im glad that day we did because we discovered
the only thing we both had in common is our love
he had fallen for me and I have fallen for him too.
and the rest they say is history
Him : Ngibulala bani ?"
He asked in his deep husky voice making me laugh
Mvelo believes that he must be the only person
that puts a smile on my face when he finds Me
smiling he will ask me " who am I killing "
Me : hi "

801 | P a g e
Him : MaBhengu "
He warned making me laugh even more
Me : do you remember how we meet ? "
He smiled a bit its all I have been doing for the
past week reminding him how much I love him
and that I'm not going any where and that will
face all life challenges together no matter what
some day I win him over but night comes and my
men vanishes
his fears of him hurting Me is slowly making him
paranoid and I hate what its doing to him .
Him : how can I forget you looked so beautiful in
royal outfit you were so beautiful and quite and
yoo ... Wajika umabhengu wahlanya wathetha
wangishaya ... "
I was in tears with laughter this man right here is
my forever
Me : stop it ...I'm not that bad "
Him : I married crazy and every body knows "_
I laughed and I fund him looking at me
" you so beautiful "
Those words still make me blush
Him : I love you "_
Me : I love you more "_
I wanted to kiss him so bad right now but he got

802 | P a g e
off my lap cleared his throat
Him : you sure you don't want to go on game
drive ?"
That what we have been doing ever since I got
better all outdoor activities yes I love the wild but
I just needed my me time and hubby but there
still that pink elephant in the room that " intimacy
"
He told me that sex will never be like that ever
again but when I get close to him he pushes Me
away memories from that day still flash back on
him when we try to get close
Me : why game drive ? You miss your family
already "
Him : yaphapha wena " I bust out and laughed
Me : we can go but ... I can't get enough looking at
your sexy cousin with blue eyes ... Mmm muhle
and you know that I got a thing for big cats "
He laughed so loud
Him : I can't believe you married a cat but you
allergic to it "
" half cat " I shoot back and he laughed
Him : still can't believe that you allergic to
Ngonyama "_he laughed at me and I hit him with
a pillow

803 | P a g e
The night was spend watching Netflix and talking
and his drinking that what he does every night is
drink almost the whole bottle of whisky he says it
help him sleep which is lie because he still wakes
up screaming and kicking
Me : Mvelo that enough " I took him glass we on
our bed now and his fully dressed and drinking
Him : I just need sleep Sbahle ... "
Me : but drinking is not helping ?"
Him : i can't sleep on your lap every time when I
want to sleep "
Me : you have a calling Mvelo maybe you should
try to channel your dreams "
Him : I don't want yo hear it Mabhengu "
Me : we need to talk about this Sthandwa "
Him : we talk about it all the time and I'm done
talking about it "
Me : its fine don't talk to me but talk to koko "
Him : I'll call her tomorrow "
Me : no need we going home tomorrow " I turned
and face the other side pulling the bed covers
Him : we not going there ... I got work to do we
going home our house in the UK "
Me : you the CEO you can freeze work for a day or
two I'm not going to sit back and look at you

804 | P a g e
washing your sorrows with alcohol and avoiding
the real matter I love you to much not to see we
need help "
I faked crying by sniffing
Him : please baby ... Ngcela ungakhali ... Fine will
go home but it just one day ... "
Me : two "
Him : MaBhengu "
Sniff he huffed " ok ... Ok ... Two days "
I turned around and kissed him he froze you see
why I need helpe he just don't know what to do
when I kiss him touch him and just as I thought he
step down from the bed
Me: Mvelo "
Him : I just need air sweetheart ... "
I breath out loud as he walked out
.
.
Morning came and I noticed that he was passed
out on the couch with a half empty whisky bottle I
took it and flushed it in the drain I started packing
our things I can not help him while we still in this
place I need my husband back
Him: morning " he said and I made him hot coffee
from the room service tray

805 | P a g e
Me: morning " I gave him his cup of coffee
Him : thank you "
I want to ask where he was but I know he was at
the bar that where he hangs out I
Feel like he drinks too much and that alone had
create a lot of tension and upset in our
relationship. No we not yet biting our heads off he
respect me enough to walk away when I try to
raise the issue but its Also not helping because we
not addressing it.
I feel like my partner is being taken away from me
– both literally and figuratively. Perhaps i resent
the amount of time he spend out drinking and
feel like his a completely different person when
his been drinking.
Him : what up with that face ? Did I do something
wrong ? "
Yes you struggling with reality and you're
tormented by your dreams because of reality and
now you sinking into alcohol running away from
reality ... So ya there is something wrong !!!
Me : no .. Jeans or chinos "
I ask him about what his going to wear I'm so
done with this place ... I just can't deal
Him : jeans ...Sbahle you avoiding ... "

806 | P a g e
Does it help when I talk will it ever? so thula
mtaKa Bhengu
His phone ringed and he looked at it
Him : I need to take this its the office "
I nodded
He walked out and answered his phone Mvelo is
young his a 23 year old CEO for an international
law firm his good at what he does his the most
intelligent man I know he find it easy in helping
others but when it comes to him he makes the
worse decision ever perhaps i don’t know how to
broach the topic with him – but I know i have
tried and it’s did go the way I like. Maybe I'm
afraid that he may resort in accusing me of
nagging him since he already disagree that there’s
a problem at all and his done talking about it ... I
just don't don't know
After taking a shower he was still on call and this
time around his laptop was open and he was
talking about some case yoo this men can work
shame I looked at my body and I must give it to
koko his herbs work miracles no marks no bruises
I jumped into my short Danim skirt blue shirt and
sandals I comb my hair and messy bun it is
Him : wow you all dressed up ... And showing legs

807 | P a g e
" he looked at my legs going up to my face his
thinking about it and soon his face change damn it
!
Me: phangisa Mvelo we need to go "
He kissed my cheek and walked to the bathroom I
need my husband back !

Chapter 77

2 Weeks later
Sbahle ****
Its been almost two week at the lodge and I must
say the honeymoon was not what I expected
firstly my first experience with Sbahle meets dick
became the worst night of my life not only did
that leave me bedridden for days but it left me
bruised and emotionally scared for life .
I wanted to forget about that it is what it is
because I love my husband more then anything in
this world I just wanted to sweep every thing
under the carpet like all good wife do .
Only one problem was that Mvelo was still stuck
in that night his reliving that night every day he

808 | P a g e
has problems with sleeping due to nightmares he
tells me his ok but that just a front he is in some
dark whole and I can't seem to get him out and
his sinking even deep now since he has found a
new copping mechanism which is alcohol.
I called koko and told her about this well if you
married problems in your marriage are not only
yours but your families too especially my in-laws
she said we must take a next flight back we need
to consult with abaphansi i told Mvelo four days
ago and its always been tomorrow tomorrow ...
But fuck now I'm putting my feet down we going
tomorrow !
We all have dreams. Sometimes they give us joy
while we're sleeping and other times they ruin our
rest. Though many people do not pay much
attention to their dreams and often don't even
remember them i believe there is always a deeper
meaning behind each dream
Psychologists suggest that our dreams may be the
mind's way of alerting us to unresolved issues
while psychics argue that our dreams hold
important clues about the future.
African traditional healers may say that dreams
are a platform for communication with our

809 | P a g e
ancestors. But Mvelo does not want to hear
anything to do with his ancestors and calling ever
since that day he brush it aside he says his done
with pleasing the dead and they turn around and
shit on him his angry too angry and his sinking to
the unknown and this dreams his having are
making me believe that they is a certain universal
meaning behind it and his actions now .
I ran my hands on his face he only sleep
peacefully when his laying on my lap I look at him
and smile kissing his forehead I love him and
seeing him like this hurts me so much
Me : Thank you for being you for sharing your love
with me..for inspiring me to accept myself..for
helping me see the unique beauty in
imperfection…for showing me that love is
something you do; something not just to be said
but also to be shown I kissed him again and brush
his hair humming a song
I smiled thinking about where it all began We had
an arranged marriage which means we had a
couple of dates over a couple of days which he
insisted we do and I
decided that it would be fine since will be
spending our lives together. A decision most

810 | P a g e
people spend most of their lifetimes mulling over.
In our very first meeting he rocked up wearing no
shoes but looked cute
we found that we had mostly nothing in common.
Never a good sign when you’re shortlisting
potential life partners. However we went for a
second date which was kinda a coincidence Mvelo
was persistent never took No for an answer and
surprisingly it turned out good well optimism
played it part .
Im glad that day we did because we discovered
the only thing we both had in common is our love
he had fallen for me and I have fallen for him too.
and the rest they say is history
Him : Ngibulala bani ?"
He asked in his deep husky voice making me laugh
Mvelo believes that he must be the only person
that puts a smile on my face when he finds Me
smiling he will ask me " who am I killing "
Me : hi "
Him : MaBhengu "
He warned making me laugh even more
Me : do you remember how we meet ? "
He smiled a bit its all I have been doing for the
past week reminding him how much I love him

811 | P a g e
and that I'm not going any where and that will
face all life challenges together no matter what
some day I win him over but night comes and my
men vanishes
his fears of him hurting Me is slowly making him
paranoid and I hate what its doing to him .
Him : how can I forget you looked so beautiful in
royal outfit you were so beautiful and quite and
yoo ... Wajika umabhengu wahlanya wathetha
wangishaya ... "
I was in tears with laughter this man right here is
my forever
Me : stop it ...I'm not that bad "
Him : I married crazy and every body knows "_
I laughed and I fund him looking at me
" you so beautiful "
Those words still make me blush
Him : I love you "_
Me : I love you more "_
I wanted to kiss him so bad right now but he got
off my lap cleared his throat
Him : you sure you don't want to go on game
drive ?"
That what we have been doing ever since I got
better all outdoor activities yes I love the wild but

812 | P a g e
I just needed my me time and hubby but there
still that pink elephant in the room that " intimacy
"
He told me that sex will never be like that ever
again but when I get close to him he pushes Me
away memories from that day still flash back on
him when we try to get close
Me : why game drive ? You miss your family
already "
Him : yaphapha wena " I bust out and laughed
Me : we can go but ... I can't get enough looking at
your sexy cousin with blue eyes ... Mmm muhle
and you know that I got a thing for big cats "
He laughed so loud
Him : I can't believe you married a cat but you
allergic to it "
" half cat " I shoot back and he laughed
Him : still can't believe that you allergic to
Ngonyama "_he laughed at me and I hit him with
a pillow
The night was spend watching Netflix and talking
and his drinking that what he does every night is
drink almost the whole bottle of whisky he says it
help him sleep which is lie because he still wakes
up screaming and kicking

813 | P a g e
Me : Mvelo that enough " I took him glass we on
our bed now and his fully dressed and drinking
Him : I just need sleep Sbahle ... "
Me : but drinking is not helping ?"
Him : i can't sleep on your lap every time when I
want to sleep "
Me : you have a calling Mvelo maybe you should
try to channel your dreams "
Him : I don't want yo hear it Mabhengu "
Me : we need to talk about this Sthandwa "
Him : we talk about it all the time and I'm done
talking about it "
Me : its fine don't talk to me but talk to koko "
Him : I'll call her tomorrow "
Me : no need we going home tomorrow " I turned
and face the other side pulling the bed covers
Him : we not going there ... I got work to do we
going home our house in the UK "
Me : you the CEO you can freeze work for a day or
two I'm not going to sit back and look at you
washing your sorrows with alcohol and avoiding
the real matter I love you to much not to see we
need help "
I faked crying by sniffing
Him : please baby ... Ngcela ungakhali ... Fine will

814 | P a g e
go home but it just one day ... "
Me : two "
Him : MaBhengu "
Sniff he huffed " ok ... Ok ... Two days "
I turned around and kissed him he froze you see
why I need helpe he just don't know what to do
when I kiss him touch him and just as I thought he
step down from the bed
Me: Mvelo "
Him : I just need air sweetheart ... "
I breath out loud as he walked out
.
.
Morning came and I noticed that he was passed
out on the couch with a half empty whisky bottle I
took it and flushed it in the drain I started packing
our things I can not help him while we still in this
place I need my husband back
Him: morning " he said and I made him hot coffee
from the room service tray
Me: morning " I gave him his cup of coffee
Him : thank you "
I want to ask where he was but I know he was at
the bar that where he hangs out I
Feel like he drinks too much and that alone had

815 | P a g e
create a lot of tension and upset in our
relationship. No we not yet biting our heads off he
respect me enough to walk away when I try to
raise the issue but its Also not helping because we
not addressing it.
I feel like my partner is being taken away from me
– both literally and figuratively. Perhaps i resent
the amount of time he spend out drinking and
feel like his a completely different person when
his been drinking.
Him : what up with that face ? Did I do something
wrong ? "
Yes you struggling with reality and you're
tormented by your dreams because of reality and
now you sinking into alcohol running away from
reality ... So ya there is something wrong !!!
Me : no .. Jeans or chinos "
I ask him about what his going to wear I'm so
done with this place ... I just can't deal
Him : jeans ...Sbahle you avoiding ... "
Does it help when I talk will it ever? so thula
mtaKa Bhengu
His phone ringed and he looked at it
Him : I need to take this its the office "
I nodded

816 | P a g e
He walked out and answered his phone Mvelo is
young his a 23 year old CEO for an international
law firm his good at what he does his the most
intelligent man I know he find it easy in helping
others but when it comes to him he makes the
worse decision ever perhaps i don’t know how to
broach the topic with him – but I know i have
tried and it’s did go the way I like. Maybe I'm
afraid that he may resort in accusing me of
nagging him since he already disagree that there’s
a problem at all and his done talking about it ... I
just don't don't know
After taking a shower he was still on call and this
time around his laptop was open and he was
talking about some case yoo this men can work
shame I looked at my body and I must give it to
koko his herbs work miracles no marks no bruises
I jumped into my short Danim skirt blue shirt and
sandals I comb my hair and messy bun it is
Him : wow you all dressed up ... And showing legs
" he looked at my legs going up to my face his
thinking about it and soon his face change damn it
!
Me: phangisa Mvelo we need to go "
He kissed my cheek and walked to the bathroom I

817 | P a g e
need my husband back !

Chapter 78

Sbahle ***
Sometimes I really do not understand African
culture and this rituals and all this ceremony that
are done for every occasion.
As you all know that 10 months ago me and
Mvelo separated and got back together a month
back
due to the way I left my marital house
I am forced to do a cleansing ceremony and seek
apology to the Mnguni ancestors for leaving the
house in that manner
They say it was not pleasant and I also spilt blood
not me but Mlondi so we Bhengu are at fault for
beating the Mnguni King and for that I need to
apologize to the ancestors and elders of the land
and my in-laws and ask to be taken back _hello
I'm married to this man we have resolved our
issued ... Now I'm not allowed to walk in proudly
inside my royal house!
Mvelo : this is bullshit ! " he said standing up

818 | P a g e
Me : Mvelo "
Him : I told you this was a bad idea coming here ...
Why you never listen to me "
I pulled him aside because now his causing
unnecessary seen
mom and koko are just amazed on the way his
speaking right now .
We were summoned to the penthouse the minute
we landed and not once I thought is was about
this ...will there ever be peace in my house.
Me : Mnguni please come down "
Him : INI ?"
Me: Yeyeye omuhle ... Please " saying his clan
name always calms him down
Me : we need to do this ... Its tradition "
Him : where has tradition gotten us to Sbahle ? I
can't even touch you because of tradition and you
going to allow that women to feed your head with
shit ?? " his voice was loud
Me : Shandwa sami that women is your
grandmother ... Please don't speak like this " I said
softly
Him : why don't you listen to me ?"
I looked down if we do not do this shit his
behaviors might get worse good lord Mvelo is so

819 | P a g e
stubborn
Him : we leaving I miss my child ... And i need to
get back to work ... You my wife and you don't
owe no one any apology uyezwa "
Zee is in the UK with her nanny Trey found her the
best school that side he believes that there is no
life for us here funny because I married him to be
his Queen for his kingdom but he just walking
away from it all I just don't know what gotten into
him
Him : we leaving ... Uyangizwa "
Me : we can't Mvelo we have come this far let's
just do it "
He pulled my hand I twisted it and untangling my
self from him but he grabbed me again roughly
this time so I had one way to do this I smashed my
lips in his and for a second he enjoyed the kiss he
responded ran his hands on my ass shortly after
he pushed me away from him slowly as he
avoided eyes contact with me
Me :if this does not prove that there is something
wrong I don't know what ? "
Him : Sbahle ... I'm working on this "
I shook my head
Me: it not about intimacy... but I want this fear of

820 | P a g e
you hurting me out if your system ... I miss you ...
" I ran my hands on his face
Me : please do this for me that all I asked "
He looked at me and walked away I followed
behind him he just banged the door and walked
out mom koko and my Aunt looked at me for
answers
Me : his stressed ... Its just work staff ... I'm sorry
about that "
Koko nodded
Me : may we kindly proceed with the ceremony
please "
Koko : thank you Ndlonkulu ... Every thing is ready
for you ekhaya ( royal house ) you mom will tell
you what expected from you she stood up and
mom walked her out
Didy mom : is that how a Queen dress this days "
I felt like rolling my eyes at her
Mom walked back in and told me to change I was
wearing a long African print dress ( isishweshwe )
a matching headscarf and they put this small
blanket over my shoulders really ma in this heat ?
Mom: asambe ..."
I nodded
Me : why we doing this ma Mvelo is the one that

821 | P a g e
wrong me not the other way around why am I
apologizing to his family "
Her : remember all the ceremony that were done
before your official traditional wedding ? "
I nodded
Her : it means that you are now part of there
family you just can't walk away when you two are
having a fight a wife stays rather the husband
moves out then you"
Me : but mom ... "
Her : I know baby kunzima but if you love him
stop going back and fourth and running away ...
Stick with him "
Me : mom it only happened once "
Her : ... Uthelwe ngenyongo Sbahle and you're
recognized as a daughter a wife and a Queen in
that house you are protected by amanguni so
when you leave idlozi liyadinwa ( ancestors are
angry ) never forget that you were chosen "
I huffed and folded my arms
Me :you may forgive him and get back to with
your husband even trow surprise wedding but all
that glitz does not make it right with abaphansi "
Me : ayi ma this is unfair"
Her : the ancestors feel betrayed that you the

822 | P a g e
chosen wife left the house without there consent
so you need to apologize to the Mnguni ancestors
and ask them ukuthi bakwamukele back " ( to take
you back )
Me : I see "
Her : Mlondi has caused us to pay more money
with his reckless behavior why you never told me
that he attacked the king "
Me : I ... "
Aunt : now they going to fine us and ask us for a
cow to cleanse the house "
Me : a cow ? ! " that over the top
Mom : akubhediwe LA Sbahle ... Inkosi phela le " (
his the king and this people don't play games )
Me ; a whole cow really that's extortion "
Aunt : well fancy words won't help now " ... She
continued to look ahead and drove us to the
palace
So ya sishwelezile nabaphansi ( asking for
forgiveness) and cleansing ceremony was done
and I was welcome back in the house and yes they
did charge us Inhlawulo a fine of two cows but
mom said its too much she said if it was not for
Mvelo mistreating me I would have never left she
said she will pay the fine of one cow for Mlondi

823 | P a g e
actions
The elders were not happy but my Aunt got mad
convincing skills and my family got away with
paying a fine of one cow .
Well after all was said and done I made my way to
the kitchen to cook it looks like every thing is still
in place just the way I left it after hours behind
the stove finally dinner was ready to be served
and there was no sign of my so called husband
In fact since I got here he was not around
Mom : is everything OK between you and your
husband ?_" she asked walking in the kitchen
Me : ya sure " I lied she had that look that said I
know you
Her : let me tell you something my baby when me
and your father got married we already had
problems my family disowned me and if that was
not worse I married to a big family that did not
like me at all I was only 16years when I married
him and I was stuck with him because I had no
home or family any more to get back to life was
tough I was young and pregnant I was Queen and
to young to have a voice I was bullied and
mistreated

824 | P a g e
How I thought I couldn’t take it anymore I wanted
to run away ... So I did that when Thandi was born
I ran away and he found me but he changed he
was angry and hated that I humiliated him by
leaving behind his baby that still needed breast
feeding
. How afraid I was when we couldn’t talk we had
to write letters l to one another because we
couldn’t do a face-to-face
I was terrified of the future. But your father stood
by me and made me the women I am today
The reason I'm sharing this with you is because
We all have challenges no matter how long we
have been married but difficulties can be
especially overwhelming in the early years and
months of married but whatever you are facing
today remember that these insurmountable
challenges these newlywed problems which
threaten to take you out can become the things
that make you stronger. The dilemmas that cut to
your very core when you finally work through
them can become a testimony and foundation on
which your marriage can stand
Me: Thanks mom "
Him : talk to him ... Be persistence even when he

825 | P a g e
shut you out talk to him amadoda ane pride
Sbahle especially the one in power .. "
Koko : ooh mntanami you have been slaving in
this kitchen for hours now please come seat down
"
Me : its OK koko ... I'm just going to dish up for
Baba and take his food to him "
Koko : ukuphi ?"
Me: I'll come back with him koko don't worry
yourself "
They walked out of the kitchen i dished up for
Mvelo and put his food in basket I took my car
Keyes ooh my car how I missed it
" Ndlonkulu welcome back home "
I turned around after placing the food on the
passenger seat
Me : mama "
I hugged her I love this women she got that "
thing " about her that I just admire
Makhumalo : when did you arrive? "
Me : today ... This afternoon "
She touched my face " thank you for rebuilding
the Mnguni house .. "
I smiled and looked down koko said that as well
and uncle Mzamo so I guess its thing around here

826 | P a g e
Her ; sorry I couldn't come to your wedding "
Me : it was a surprise mama nami I didn't know I
was getting married till that night "
Her : mmmm you have nice life problems "
We laughed
Me : mama when last you spoke to Mvelo "
Her: his ignoring my calls I'm glad you forced him
to come home "
Me : it was not easy"
Her : we need to talk me and you after all this
how long are you going to be here "
Me : maybe a day or two ... He really does not
want to be here "
She squinted her eyes and gave me that look that
she is picking up something
Her : go get your husband Now!; ... I need to see
him now !!... "
Her voice was big bold like males voice ooh shoot
it Somdala Mvelo's grate gran father he is now
taking over Makhumalo body ... I kneeled down
and clapped twice ... " Ndlondlo ngizowenza njalo
" he growled and spoke in tongues and walked
away I stood up and dusted my knees yoo this
family got drama for days now how am I going to
convince Mvelo.

827 | P a g e
I drove to his man cave he was on a couch with
music playing so loud and cans of beer on the
table I switched the radio off he looked up and
was meet by my eyes
Me : I brought you food "
Him : I'm not hungry "
I did not care but gave him his plate after
unwrapping it
Him : you cooked "
I nodded he set up straight and smiled took his
food and dug in I looked at him watching him eat
within minute he has cleaned up his plate
Him : is there some more"
Me ; its in the house we can go and I will dish up
for you "
He set back and looked at me I swallowed hard
Me : Makhumalo asked to see you "
I looked down because his eyes were burning my
soul now
Him : what are you up to Mabhengu "
Me: can we go please ... "
Him: Why ? "
Me : Mvelo ... Ngiyakucela "
He shook his head and turned the music back up
now what ?

828 | P a g e
Chapter 79

Mvelo ***
I looked at her as her eyes started to form tears ...
She know this is my weakness and right now I'm
falling into her trap I made her cry once and felt
like the lowest life form in the universe I promised
my self that never want to see her cry again
because of something that I've done.
" Sthandwa sami what's wrong " I crouching in
front her rubbing her back
Her : I'm trying Mvelo God knows im trying so
hard but you not letting me in .."
Me : I'm sorry Sbahle I can not keep doing this
with my family you just don't understand "
Her : make me understand because right now I
just see you sinking in to the unknown ... "
You know when Sbahle start Crying during an
argument or misunderstanding its
just feels so fucking unfair She knows that I can't
keep being angry with her when she cries without
looking like a monster. It's how she wins every
single time
Me : ngiyaxolisa ... Please stop crying and let's talk
about this "

829 | P a g e
Her : you don't want to listen to me Mvelo you
never do !"
OK can somebody tell me what have I done now ?
for goodness sake I'm trying my level best to fix
this problem of me unable to hold her and she see
fit to drag me to the very same place I don't want
to be in I'm cursed because of my family I hurt
Sbahle because of this blood inside of me so shoot
me I'm pissed mad that and I'm angry that I'm
stuck in this trauma reliving it everyday should I
be speaking to some one of cause yes but as a
men i need to be strong for my family there is no
me on this equation to take care off its my family
my children ooh God my unborn baby my
beautiful wife my calling my company my
kingdom .... And I ask for one thing one thing to
consummate my love with my wife in the most
romantic ways ever but that was taken from me
as well I take care off every one and I'm
disregarded .
Her: you promised you will do this for me ... You
promised " I breath out loud lord knows I can't say
no to her never
Me : anything for you my love ... Just name it "
I still think she is over reacting and thinking that I

830 | P a g e
need fixing I just think maybe I need a destruction
work and a lot of work out to just exhaust my
body to have peaceful sleep ...coming here is the
last thing I need since I feel I have lost so much
because of this family and my ancestors.
Her : i know you are Assuming there's nothing
wrong but I know you and I can tell there is " she
holding my face she can read me she can feel my
deepest emotions
I'm exhausted and going back and fourth with her
will make her cry even more so I'm debating now
on 'How can I fix this and make things better for
her sake and I'm wondering on why Makhumalo
wants to see me 'Oh God what is it this time ?
Me : Sbahle I agree to everything you say to me
most times not because you right but because I
hate seeing you cry what I'm about to do I'm
doing it against my will because of you "
She wiped her tears and looked at me
I look at this beautiful soul in front of me I can
fuck up for days but she will never give up on me
she always see the Men in me that I sometimes
can not recognize .
She hugged me and that alone felt so good it felt
like home I love her so much

831 | P a g e
I made a promise to this woman i swore to love
and cherish her. Right now i disagree with what
she plan to do but Arguments and fights can very
easily be one of the most beneficial parts of a
strong relationship especially if one or both of us
had been refraining from saying something that
needed to be said. A fight or a disagreement can
bring out the truth even though it may sting a bit
but that will hurt her so I nod and tell her
" OK baby we may go see Makhumalo "
I let go of her and looked at her sparkling little
eyes
Her : thank you "
" we still need to talk about this you making
decision without running it pass me " i tell her I'm
driving and Sbahle is seating with her back on the
dash bord of the car her legs on her seat and she
looking at me its an awkward position to sit in but
Sbahle never does anything normal
Her : you said you done talking to me '
Me : I was tired last night "
Her : I hate feeling like I'm nagging you "
I shoot my eyes at her
Me : do I make you feel like that ? "
This was new to me have I ever gave her a reason

832 | P a g e
not to be open with me she plays with her nails
and shrunk her shoulders
Me : we still talking"
I say shouting a bit she has her moments of being
the strong wise women smart and witty but
sometimes she just act like a teen you know her
age like right now .
Her : I feel like you don't listen to me "
I parked the car and look at her she looked hot in
her makoti dress and matching headscarf
Me : you my partner Sbahle and there days when I
will seek answers from the world but get none
God gave me you you will be my advisor ...my
eyes when I can't see ears when I can't hear ...
Baby you my voice when I can't speak ...
Everything you say to Me never falls on deaf ears
... Please don't give up on me Mabhengu I need
you more than you know "
Her : I'm sorry "
Me : don't be we talking and I like what we
achieved right now "
She smiled and kissed me its funny how I'm able
to hug and kiss her today and feel connected to
her with out bad memories triggered and spoiling
the moment.

833 | P a g e
.
.
Sbahle***
After the heart to heart we had and the
Kiss we shared I can say that coming here was not
a bad idea After all its still early days to celebrate
and say I have win him over but I have hope I let
go of his hand the minute we walk in the house
Me : I'll be upstairs "
He held my hand again
Him : we doing this together "
Wow that a first I never set in any of this meeting
he has with his family I don't know what to
expected so I'm nervous as fuck
Koko : thank you Ndlonkulu ... "
I nodded as Mvelo pulled me to seat next to him
Mvelo : sawbona koko "
Koko : Ngonyama "
She looked at me and cleared her throat
Makhumalo walked in and greeted Mvelo
Makhumalo : I have been calling "
Mvelo : was spending time with my wife "
Makhumalo : it was important "
Mvelo : so is spending time with my wife "
This was awkward now I hate his tone it sounded

834 | P a g e
a bit disrespectful
Makhumalo : I see ... Its good to know so what
this I hear that you no longer want to have a
spiritual connection with your ancestors ?"
Him : a lot happened "
Koko : I told you it will ..." She looks at me and
Mvelo they have a conversations with there eyes
she cleared her throat again OK what was that?
what did I miss ?
Koko : Mvelo Life throws challenges and every
challenge comes with rainbows ...but if you going
to be stark on the challenge you had you will
never see the rainbow"
Mvelo : challenge you say ?" he laughed
makhumalo : I believe its a figure of speech and
you know what we talking about "
Yoo mama is pissed and she is ready to kill
Mvelo : did you go trough it ? ... Did you ever
came face to face with a beast ... Oh what you call
it a challenge ? "
Koko looked down
Me : Mvelo ... " I whispered in his ear I hate how
his addressing his elders
Mvelo : no baby let me finish "
I sigh and tried to let go of his hand but he hold

835 | P a g e
mine even tighter
Mvelo : koko let me tell you this she has ." he was
referring to me
Mvelo : and I have and everyday of my life I'm
relive that day which suppose to be the best night
in our marriage turning out to be the nightmare"
Me: Mvelo " he held my hand tighter telling me to
zip it I did just that and looked down
Mvelo : she could not walk for four day ... Four
day she was bruised up and all because we
following instruction of our ancestors disregarding
how we feel "
Makhumalo : you got a mark of the grate white
lion what makes you think your life will be normal
?"
Mvelo : that ?"
Makhumalo : hayi wena I'm talking now and you
will listen angikhathaleli that you now look at your
self and think you are a men just because you are
married or you running a multi milliner company
when I talk you will listen yangizwa "
Him : yes mam "
He looked down wow table turn very fast in this
house The level of respect Mvelo has for mama is
mind blowing

836 | P a g e
Makhumalo : you not normal you never was and
never will be Sbahle is chosen for you and you
have no right to think for her she has her own
head to make her decision for her self you know
why you stuck in that pit whole you call
nightmares because you hate it when things do
not go your way you looking for someone to
blame right now but you know very well that you
had no control of this situation "
Mvelo :.....
Makhumalo : Mabhengu is your wife and I know
as women that I wouldn't want my first time to be
like that either but she a mother of the lion never
underestimate how strong she is your love for her
is clouding you to see what and who she really is
and power she has ... "
The room was quite ooh God I want to grow up
and be just like her I think I found my role model
Makhumalo: The most precious light is the one
that visits you in your darkest haven't I taught you
that over the years ?"
Mvelo : .....
Makhumalo: You the prince of light Mvelo or have
you forgotten about that also ? you letting your
guard down because of feelings ? so now we

837 | P a g e
questioning the way of our four father's ? And
trow in the towel because what ? sex ! that did
not go your way ?"
Me : wow ... " I said softly
Makhumalo : are you forgetting what that night
was meant for that you suddenly have nightmare
about ? what it has done in this family .?... Why
you so selfish Mvelo ... Why you acting like a
spoiled brat ... You have the rest of your life with
Sbahle to give her the best bedroom prayer of her
life ... You crying over spilled milk that is yet to
benefit the future of this kingdom !!"
She breath out loud and set down I did not even
see that she was standing up
Makhumalo : Mvelo mtanami you don’t have the
luxury of fallin’ apart for someone else to pick you
up you are crowned king and this behavior is not
acceptable .. "
He started breathing up heavily i aran my thumbs
on his hand Makhumalo was Also mad tensions
were high koko was looking down and I was just
lost I feel sorry for my man now he is receiving the
thunder now the hard way ...
Makhumalo : I get you upset you angry but We all
have thorns in our flesh. All of us. Love is when we

838 | P a g e
stay and help someone pluck out their thorns
one-by-one and they do the same for us. Love is
also when we pluck the thorns out of our own
flesh one-by-one. But today the world teaches us
that we shouldn’t even see those thorns that we
should only see the petals. As a result we don’t
know how to love ourselves and we don’t know
how to love others. Stay with the darkness and
bring that darkness into the light. It’s there look at
it. Stop running away from it ... And blocking it but
face it "
Mvelo looked at her
Makhumalo: they showed me your dreams and
I'm sorry you go through that every night Mvelo I
have told you so many times that the scenarios
we experience in our sleep have a particular
meaningand if we understand what our dreams
mean we have the power to respond to the
messages we receive in them. And if we don't we
see them as nightmares and darkness fomenting
us in the night ... "
Mvelo : so what does it really mean "
Makhumalo : I did not train you to be a powerful
seer to relay on me for answers connect with
izidalwa zakho and you will see and find the

839 | P a g e
answers "
Mvelo : that will be impossible "
Koko ; ngobani ? ... You have a calling mvelo you
don't just say I quite when you're feed up you
push trough it ... When last did you pray ? lite
impepho ? Or izibani ? And when last did you have
vision ? "
He looked down
Koko : abadala banesikhwele Mvelo you need to
find balance in everything you do love life work
and your calling ... "
Mvelo nodded
Makhumalo : Dreams play a pivotal role when
you're working on enhancing and heightening
your spirituality. You should have been able to
decipher your own dream by now Understanding
your dreams will always without fail give guidance
as to what is happening in your life and what to
watch out for. "
Mvelo nodded
Koko : thank you again Ndlonkulu for bringing
Mvelo home she said that after Mvelo and mama
stepped out
Me : I just want him to get better "
Koko : he will he needed to step in this ground to

840 | P a g e
realise and find himself ...
thank you again ... " she walked out of the room
leaving me with million thoughts It was my first
seat down in a Mnguni meeting and wow I feel
like I still have a long way to understand this
family And there ancestors and there way .
.
.

Chapter 80

Sbahle ****
I woke up in the middle of the night with Mvelo
not by my side ever since that meeting he has
been quite I saw him standing by the balcony and
looking outside he was wearing his long PJ pants
with no top I made my way to him and hugged
him from behind resting my head on his back
Him : what are you doing up ? "
Me : why you not sleeping ? Is it the dreams ?"
Him : no ... I just could not sleep "
Me : are you OK ?"
Him : I don't know "

841 | P a g e
Me: do you want to talk about it ? "
Him : the only thing that make sense to my life
right now is you ..." He turned around and hugged
me and kissed my fourhead
Me : I'm sorry I went behind your back and talked
to your family about our problems "
Him : I was not making it any easy for you so its
cool "
Me : there is lot I don't understand about you're
life you culture and your calling "
Him : I'm no expect also that why I have elders to
help me "
Me : I'm married to you Mvelo but I feel like a
stranger when it comes to the Mnguni ancestral
beliefs "
He sigh
Him : what do you want to know ?"
I looked up at him and I was meet by his worm
eyes
Me : everything "
Him : I'll speak to koko "
I popped my eyes ... No
Him : what ? "
Me : I don't think she will agree ... "
" why do you say that ?" He asked with a frowb

842 | P a g e
Me : I don't know Mvelo koko is a good women I
know and mom speaks praise about her but we
not that close ... We leave in the same room but
we hadly say more then 10 words to each other "
Him : that new to me "
Me : don't get me wrong I'm not saying this as in a
wrong or bad way ... And please don't talk to her
about this "
Him : Sbahle "
Me : Ngiyakucela Mvelo ... "
The last thing I need is to have bed blood with his
grandmother she tolerates me as Mvelo wife and
I'm Good with that "
Me : we going t UK soon and I was hoping you will
educate me about your family history "
Him : I don't know if i will I just feel emotional
detached to my spiritual calling and being a
Mnguni is not something I feel proud to be "
he let go off me and ran his hands on his face
Me : when did this start "
He looked at me with raised eyebrow Mvelo is
nothing without his calling its him its who Mvelo is
Me : talk to me babe "
Him : it happened after the Sli thing "
I dropped my mouth open

843 | P a g e
Me: Mvelo that's like a year ago "
Him : I know... "
Me: what caused it ? "
he shook his head as if his saying he doesn't know
Me : Your spiritual disconnect begins at the core
of yourself its just does happened over night it
something that has been going on but you were
not paying attention to it then it started to grow
up through the mind and then branches out
through the soul. If you cannot feel in a body built
for feeling then that is a clear sign that something
is wrong... "
Him : I just don't know sbahle "
Me: I think you allowed it to be like that ... "
He did not answer or looked at me
Me : Pam's last words to me really change Me or
made me see things in another prospective "
He turned around and looked at me
Me : she told me that I need to teach his family
about power of prayer and believing in God I
shook my head and told her that I don't believe in
God I don't have much faith in him she laughed at
me and told me that " you do you just need to
take that step to go close to him and he will meet
you half way "

844 | P a g e
I laughed shaking my head " so what you going
trough right now I know it and I've been there
I’ve heard these same words come out of my
mouth: “I want to feel more connected …you
know …on a spiritual level ' Maybe you’ve said
them too as you express your desire to feel a
strong connection with your ancestors isithunywa
sakho and your spiritual side but you know
Religious traditions often teach that we need to
strive to find that connection because as mere
mortals we don’t naturally have it. We have to
work at it… cleave pray meditate uphahle perform
commandments and more.
I’m here to tell you that it’s not true. You aren’t
disconnected and neither am I. We never have
been and never will be. We are always connected
to any spiritual being even if we don’t feel
connected just take that step forward and they
will meet you half way "
He sigh and looked ahead
Him : “I don’t feel that maybe I want to feel
it…maybe don't "
I held his hand
Me :“But you know that you are connected
right?” I held his hand

845 | P a g e
Him :“Yes I know it intellectually but I just don’t
feel it. "
Me: you blocking it You do have access to it but
you blocking it "
He looked at me and nodded
Me: why ? "_It came out as a whisper
Him: I just want to be normal Hle-hle I want to
take my company to grater heights I want to love
you and give you the best things in life I want to
see my children grow and be there for them ... I
want to be a man a husband a father without
having a responsibility to save every one else ... "_
Me : Mvelo ?"
Him : we leaving tomorrow let's get some sleep "
Me: it does not work like that Sthandwa sami .."
Him : I love you and my life start and ends with
you is that hard to ask for ... To be with a women I
love to creates memories and to be successful
business men and great father to my kids "
I was about to answer him and he pulled me to
him and attacked me with a kiss it was full of
emotions and he left me breathless
Him : let's go to sleep .."I'm more worried now
about him but what to do ? I can't keep defying
him on the chooses he has made for his life he

846 | P a g e
cuddle me and placed his hands on my tummy
rubbing slowly he does that this day I find it easy
to sleep when he does that .
Morning came and he was still holding me so tight
he cuddle me and placed his hands on my tummy
rubbing slowly he does that this day I find it easy
to sleep when he does that .
Morning came and he was still holding me so tight
I felt him poking me and that a feeling haven't had
in a long time
Him : hle -hle " I smiled to my self I love it when
he called me that
Me: mmmm morning "
I turned and looked at him he was dressed and
looked fresh really Mvelo urg! I frowned
Me : when did you wake up and why are you
dressed up? " he laughed and kissed me and I
pushed him off me I had to brush my teeth and
rinse my face
Him : I'm ready to talk " he stood by the bathroom
door with his arms folded
I looked up at him and frowned
Me :talk ?"
He breath out loud " our first night together "
I opened my mouth and closed it again

847 | P a g e
Me : we not doing this now Mvelo "
Him : is there a time frame for talks like this ?"
Me : don't be cocky with me Mnguni "
Him : you said we don't talk and I don't listen ...
Kanti Sbahle ufunani "
I pushed him to make way out of the bathroom
I'm not having this talk with him right now ... I'm
not ready and its to early manje yena he just
wakes up and say he want to talk no warning in
advance and his dressed up and he fuckeb arose
me with his dick poking me and now this ...
He pulled my hand he set on our bed and made
me sit on his lap
Him : I know you know the struggle I went trough
after that night I'm not saying it will stop now
since I have spoken to Mama but in hoping to take
it one day at time till I get there "
Me : you will I believe in you "
He kissed my shoulder
Him : wena unjani ? "
Me: I don't understand ... What do you mean ?"
Him : Sbahle you were on the receiving end of all
of this being the women you are I know you
rather put everything under carpet and move past
from it"

848 | P a g e
Me : I'm fine I really am ... Its water under the
bridge and why we having this talk right now ?
He shook his head
Him : I love you but I must not forget the fact that
you are young and traumatic experience has ways
of resurfacing when you least expect it so talk to
me ... How do you feel or how did you feel about
our first night together "
Me : I can't ... Not now please ... "
Him : I hate that you carry both my weight and
yours let me off loud some please "
Mvelo doesn't understand that sometimes our
pain comes from a place so scary that we don’t
want to say it out loud talk about it or even admit
it’s true to ourselves. We feel safer avoiding our
feelings because it shields us from pain all I'm able
to do was to carry Mvelo pain I ignored mine it
does not matter anyway wat felt what I went
trough it happened and I don't want to think
about it I had to be done and I don't know why
must we go back to that place that night that day
no ! I can't I don't want to see Mvelo that way no!
I refuse I'll be OK I'll be fine
Me : Mvelo please can we move past this "
He shook his head

849 | P a g e
Him : there will be time when I will be
comfortable enough to want to touch you to
make love to you and I know Sbahle that won't be
easy for you you will put on a brave face to please
me hurting yourself even more "
Me : will cross that bridge when we get to it " I
tried standing up but he held me close
Him: I want to be here for you ... Before I lose you
to buried emotional pain "
I looked down and didn't know what to say this
right here I don't know what to say or do he
breath out loud he placed his head on my
shoulders when he noticed that I'm not talking
Him : I don’t know what you’ve been through and
I don’t know who you have to turn to but if you’ve
been holding your pain inside I would encourage
you to take the first step and say it out loud.
Regardless of where your pain comes from your
experiences and feelings matter. So say it…when
you’re ready…wait till no one is around and tell it
to the sky if you have to but say it. Acknowledging
the magnitude of your pain is an important first
step in fumbling your way towards healing."
He kissed my cheek
I was quite I did not know what to say so I made

850 | P a g e
my way to the bathroom and took few dip breath
before stepping to a shower
I found him pacing around the room he was
speaking business language that I did not hear the
bed was made and my clothes laid out on the bad
" hold on a bit " he said to the caller
Him : hay " he called me while I was applying
lotion on my body
Him : what with that face ? "
I frowned and looked at him he made his way to
me
Him : are you OK ? " he kissed my lips
Me : I'm fine .." I said dismissing him
I'm kinda down I don't know why but I'm just in
no mood to talk after that mouthful exchange of
words that just happen i just need space from him
and evey one else
he continue with his call with a worry look being a
Mnguni wife means I need to wear this modern
African print dresses with matching doek urg!
I made my way downstairs and stop on my tracks
when I heard my mothers voice
" she my daughter I taught her well why you
doubting her ability you be Ndlovukazi "
Koko : she young she still need to learn "

851 | P a g e
Mom : I married young younger then her and I
spend my days in royal house with Queen mother
who taught me everything about being a Bhengu
Queen "
Koko : Nontombi we do things differently in this
house "
Mom : you do things differently my son is
arranged to take a wife and I already have a
schedule on how I'm going to teach her the ropes
of our kingdom ... We going to die Nomacawe and
leave this children with this legacy how they going
to lead if we as as elders are depriving then of
that "
Koko ' I'll speak to her "
Mom : don't speak to her Show her how to lead in
this house she is the Queen ... Before she wife or
mother of lions and lioness she need to know her
powers and how to rule she has come to age now
"
The room went silent I made my way downstairs
and found the two Queens looking at each other
mom smiled when she saw me
Mom: ulala till this time now Sbahle "
Me : I had a late night ... Sawbona maka sbahle " I
went to her and hugged her kissing her cheek I

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turned and looked at Koko and greeted her
bowing my knees and head a bit
She hardly talks to me so I knew she was just
going to nod
Mom ; I came to say Good-by we heading back
home now "
Me : ooh " I felt a bit sad
Her : please walk me out "
She said Goodbye to koko and I walked her out
we stood by her car
Mom : how was your night back home ? "
Me : it was OK mom "
Her : Mnguni Treating you well ?"
I nodded
Her: I head you going to the UK tonight "
I nodded " Mvelo's life and work is that side "
Her : and your life ? "
Me : I go where my husband go mom "
I looked down
Her: you Queen before you wife or a mother to
his children uyezwa ... You need to rule and know
your rank in this kingdom ... Speak out Sbahle I
never raised you to be this silent "
I looked down
Her : don't repeat the mistake I made listening to

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your in-laws even when you don't see fit or agree
with what they say don't let them Rob you of who
you are and how powerful you will be you hold
great power Sbahle and one day you will be
tested so start seeking answers within you "
I nodded as she hug me " you are Goddess my
child and more powerful than that women that
sitting proudly on your seat ... Claim and take
what your uyezwa " she whispered in my ear
Me: yebo maka sbahle "
She kissed my cheek and got in her car and waved
goodbye as her driver drove off.
.
.

Chapter 81

Mvelo ***
Leaving home was bitter sweat but I had to go
Makhumalo gave me holly water to use to drink
and bath with she said that I need to at least pray
and meditate I was not planning on doing that but
having a wife like Sbahle yoh ... I end up doing
thing I never thought I will ever do she hates UK

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but at least she loves her house I bought her a
new house away from the city and close to
country side close to the lake ... She wants
mansion that she hate the city life its too noisy
and chaotic she loves the country side she spend
most of her time with Zee and in her art gallery
yes there is room in the house that I made it her
escape place
I have seen the drawings that Mlondi shipped this
side and I must say there are beautiful and I'm
thinking of investing on her art so she may
showcase her work .
Work is hectic on my and I hardly get time to
spend holding my wife well its good to say that
the nightmares are gone after I drank Makhumalo
holly water I'm slowly starting to restore that
feeling of having an intimate moment with my
wife but I'm too busy and forever tired to even
get it up .
Since she refused to speak to me about her ordeal
I decided that she need see some one and damn
did we fight about that but I wasn't backing down
I need her to be OK because I really want to tap
that now and I can't relay on " I'm fine " that she
keeps shoving down my throat damn married life

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is just too much.
I stepped in the office every one started clapping
there hands
" what going on?" I asked clearly shocked
" you did it again ... " that one of the junior
attorneys my uncle made my way to me
Me : what going on ? "
Him : you win them too much you just don't keep
track now "
Me : ooh shoot the case ... Yah "
I turned and looked at every one
Me : settle down and let's get back to work .. "
Mzamo chuckled " you got this under control why
you still stringing me along for "
Me : ooh come on I wouldn't have done this
without you "
I took a can of soda in the bar fridge we in my
office now
Him : you have anything stronger "
Me: nop but you can find it down the road ... "
Him : Sbahle ?"
I breath out loud " she got me by the balls "
Him : I'm glad I ain't married " we bust out and
laughed
Him : so how did she take the news "

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I ran my hands on my hair
" you haven't told her?"
Me: I'm trying ... "
Him : you said that few weeks back were you not
plannings on telling her on her birthday "
Me: she was so happy and excited of her surprise
birthday that I did for her she loved everything I
was not going come and say to her ooh happy
birthday my love and by the way we pregnant "
Him : she going to kill you when she finds out "
Me : I know and worse part she is getting this
morning sickness and pukes a lot I had to change
my shower get because is ' smells funny ' to her
now "
He was laughing his lungs out while I was
panicking it so hard keeping this from her not that
I don't want to tell her but what will she feel
about it .. Pregnancy is a profound event As she
carries a child in her womb her body drastically
changes she had breast now and getting a bit
wider on hips fuck she is so sexy she is now 6
weeks pregnant yes FAM I keep a calendar that
how I'm secretly involved in this pregnancy she is
slowly gain wait she at the stage where she is
experiencing morning sickness a bit of mood

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swings and weird cravings Certain smells might
make her a wretch. It is a beautiful time for me
and I'm enjoying everyday of it
But it is also a time that comes with a lot of self-
consciousness and frustration. There is a lot of
things I have not figured out and its scare me to a
core i know
It’s essential for soon-to-be fathers to provide
support. But what kind of support is best? What’s
the right thing to say? Even the most well-
meaning of husbands struggle Banzi was no help
when I asked him he said
"just take it one day at time and don't call her fat
"
Bongani said " fuck your boys can swim you had
sex with her once and she is pregnant "_you see
the friends I keep are useless sometimes my uncle
left few hours back
" if she finds out on her own she will kill you tell
her tonight !" Driving back home I got her flowers
I'm trying to come my nerves but fuck I'm Nevers I
found Zee watching cartoons
Me :princess"
She jumped up and hugged me I plug a rose on
her hair

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" this is for you princess "
Her : thank you my king your so kind "
I kissed her cheek " where is your Queen ?"
Her : in her room she is not feeling well daddy "
Me : let me go check up on her OK "
She nodded when I got in our bedroom I heard
sound of her vomiting in the bathroom
Me : Hle-hle "
Her: go away ! "
I started rubbing my hands together Im fucked
like really fucked
.
.
Sbahle ***
I hate this place its cold it rains all the time and
people around here speak funny English I love my
house though it wow big and so elegant Mvelo
said that I was not going to leave with him in the
bachelor pad so he bought a new house and I love
it . Mvelo went back to work when we arrived in
the UK
And fuck does he work to much he spend 10hrs in
the office and another 3hrs in his study when he
gets back Mvelo said that I was not going to leave
with him in the bachelor pad so he bought a new

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house and I love it . Mvelo went back to work
when we arrived in the UK
And fuck does he work to much he spend 10hrs in
the office and another 3hrs in his study when he
gets back I miss him so much and I wish we could
try to be intimate but yoo there is a little that
going on when it time to go to bed.
Since I refused to speak to him about our first
night this crazy man signed me up to see a shrink
bloody hell I still think its a waist of money but at
least I have a person that I could off loud to but I
must did not agree to it laying down I told him
that I will see his Dr friend if he start using Mama
water to connect with his ancestors he was not
happy but looks fair that I'm doing what he wants
and his doing what I want so we went on with it .
The first two weeks when we got here he was
busy with fasting and connecting with his
ancestors we slept in different room he has a
secrete room in the house where he does his
thing and when that was over he was just too
busy with work and work and more work ... Its so
frustrating that I leave in the same house with this
man but hardly spend time with him
On a flip side that gave me time to connect with

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Zee and God I love that baby she sweet and
adorable and she keeps me so busy that I even
forget that my bedroom is cold Zee is the best
stepdaughter any women could ask for she looked
too much like her father now and talks way too
much her IQ level is on steroids her 6th birthday is
coming up and I'm organizing a birthday party yap
that will just keep my mind of things.
Speaking about birthday parties mine was few
weeks back and my man went all out candle lit
dinner he was kissing and touching me ooh it was
lit till I pass out out on the rug in our bedroom We
did not even reach second base or make love that
I was so looking forward to fuck I hate this fatigue.
I really don't know what happening to me I'm
always sick and tired i sleep a lot and eat too
much and I get sick after its just draining as hell
" its change of environment " Mvelo said but it
has been going on for a while now that I'm even
thinking of seeing a Dr
" you sure you OK " he asked me as i lifted my
head from the toilet that all I have been doing this
day I could not stomach any thing and everything
Smell so funny
Him ; drink this " he gave me a glass of water

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Me : thank you " I rinsed my mouth and looked at
my self in the mirror "
Him : you don't look to good "
Me : I went to the chemist this morning and ask
for pills that can help me with stomach bug "
His eyes widen and he took off his coat and rolled
up his shirt
Him : where are the pills ? When did you take
them ? ... How many did you take ? Dam it !! " i
looked at him and frowned
I looked at him and set down on the toilet seat "
what wrong baby " I asked him with low voice I
was drained now
Him : where are the pills "
Me : I took them this morning and this afternoon
and I just started feeling dizzy and started
bleeding and now I'm vomiting like crazy ... What
happening to me Mvelo "
Him : what did you say ! Yooo bleeding
???...non.... No ... No !!!! ... Sbahle we need to go
to the hospital right now "
Me : in tired Mvelo I just need yo lay down "
I slowly moved to the bed
Him : Sbahle we need to go to the Dr ... You are
pregnant !!!! Ooh my God my baby what have I

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done "
He lifted me up " put me down ! ... Utheni !! "
Him : I sorry I should have told you .. But there is
no time for that now ! Im scare what does pills
might have done to you "
I held my chest " I'm what... How did you know ...
When did you find out "
I listen to him telling me his story he was fast and
going on and on telling me we need to see a Dr I
was mad very mad for 6 weeks he has known
about this but has not told me
Me : every time when I mention seeing Dr you
refused while all along you knew !"
Him :I'm sorry baby but we need to go we running
out if time think about our baby and kill me later
!!!
I saw the flowers he bought for me I took them
and started hitting him with them
Him : damn it Sbahle fuck "
Me : you lied to me you bloody lied to me ... "
He held my hands and pulled me to his chest
Him : you will get the chance to kill me I promise
but for now can we check if our baby is OK ... "
I pushed him away from me made my way yo the
vanity took an envelop there and threw it at him

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Me : baby is fine its Healthy baby I went to see the
Dr today there is even scans there "
Him : and this pills ... The chemist ?"
Me : Just giving you sip of your own medicine " I
walked out banging the door i made my way to
the kitchen to worm his food he walked in looking
like a wet dog
Him : I'm sorry I was going to tell you ... Tonight "
I did not answer him because I did not know if he
is telling the truth or what I placed his food on the
table and he pulled me to him lifted me up and
placed me on the counter he got in between my
thighs
Him : I’m going to be honest with you so don’t
judge me and hate me Pregnancy is such a
beautiful journey that two people go on together.
Yes it includes me my dear wife. But it’s also going
to get very stressful crazy whirlwind and
sometimes rough in our lives you will experienced
feelings and symptoms that I’ve never most
probably will never feel I just want you too know
that Not everything is going to about you but I'll
be with you every step of the way what I want or
need during this time is for us to be in this
together . It’s also about us our marriage our love

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and the little miracle growing inside of you that
we created together! "
Me : I'm still angry and you " I said crying in his
arms
Him : I know ... And I'm sorry "
Me ; I'm still going to kill you ..."
Him : I wouldn't have it any other way "
I chuckled as he pulled my face to his " I love you
and yet again you made me the happiest man
alive "
Me : shut up I'm only 19 Mvelo and I'm already
pregnant ... I'm suppose to be starting school next
year "
Him : you pregnant baby not sick you can still do
school " I hit his shoulder
" don't be cocky Mnguni " he kissed me
Him : we got this babe you the strongest women I
know and I know you can do this gracefully "
Me : I need your support your affection and for
you to communicate with me every step of the
way. WE are a team and WE are in this together. .
. stop this habit of keeping thing from me trying to
protect me "
Him ; I promise now can we kiss please " I laughed
as our lip did the dance

865 | P a g e
Chapter 82

Sbahle ****

Him: who knew that love will make me kiss the

mouth that was taking our stomach content few
minutes ago "
I laughed and placed my head on his chest
Me : it's your baby not me "
Him : is that so now ?"
Me : yep ... This baby was made by you and
Ngonyama ... Its your responsibility not mine "
We bust out and laughed we come to far me and
Mvelo never tough one day will joke about that
night with out getting emotional .
He started eating his food and somehow it
started smelling real bad so i jumped off the
counter
Me: let me take Zee to bed you praying with her
tonight "
Him : sure ... I'll be there in a sec is there left over
for this food " I looked at his plate it was cleaned
out haybo so fast I rolled my eyes Mvelo eat two
plates of food every night and debating about it
has not gotten me anywhere so I just let him be

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Me : your second plate is in the fridge worm it
up "
Him : tank you Mkami ... "
Me : wash the plates when you don't "
Him : God so many orders "
Me : I heard that ... " I found Zee slowly dozing off
on the couch
Me : hay baby ... Time for bed "
Her : piggy back ride "
Ooh brother I should have told Mvelo to get her
Me : sure jump up "
The stairs felt like I was walking on sand Zee is
heavy now so verry heavy we finely reached her
bedroom and I just wanted to die
Me : go brush you teeth baby "
Her : but hle -hle I did "
I shook my head and told her I smell chips in her
mouth
Her : ooh men ... " I laughed as she dragged her
self to the bathroom she came back and snuggle
next to her
Me : Im going to read you bed time story and
daddy will come prey with you OK "she smiled
and nodded she placed her head on my chest and
I rubbed her hair

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Her : my Queen "
Me ; yes my princess "
Her : will mom come to my birthday party "
Me : I will ask dad to call her "
Her: why doesn't she call me ?"
Me : I don't know princess maybe she busy but
why don't will call her tomorrow morning "
Her : she never pics up ... "
She sounded down I don't get what Sli problem is
she fought with Mvelo why is she avoiding her
own daughter now ... I really do not get absent
mother's period ke ! you curry a child for nine
months and when shit hit the fan between you
and the baby daddy you resent the child
or abandoned her .
and sli calls herself God fearing women nxa Sli
actions are slowly killing Zee i can see that now
and I'll be damn if I allow that to happen I know
for a fact that a Children who have an absent
mother develop certain typical behaviors towards
their mothers protesting desperation and
distancing. Her being gone doesn’t make them
feel more affection; it makes their emotions go
wild.
In the end their only choice is to block their

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feelings of love. Some kids even end up with a dull
hate towards there mothers because of this
vicious cycle of loving and losing over and over
again. Sli has done this far to long and its end
now
"Looks like she is asleep " Mvelo said walking in
I slowly placed her i head on her bed and tucked
her in
Mvelo hugged me from behind while we look at
Zee
Him : you natural at this "
He kissed my neck
Him : just imagine when we have dozen more
running in here "
I looked up at him " a dozen ! "
He had that smug on his face that annoyed me
Him: am I asking too much"
Me : way to much "
I untangle my self from his arms and he followed
me
Him: OK ... Half a dozen "
Me : take a second wife I ain't popping a dozen
kids out of my punana"
Him : yahlanya ! "
I already took a bath and was only on my sleep

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wear I decided to brush my teeth
Me : well one kid it is that "
Him : will see about that .." I was looking at him
on the mirror while he was taking his cloths off
Mvelo got a torso to die for and looking at him
always turns me on
Him : like what you see ?" he kissed my neck and
he made me feel his hard Monster cock on my
ass
Him : let me take a shower this conversation is
not over " he kissed my cheek and jumped into a
shower I let out a huge sigh that I did not realise I
was holding I touched my panty under my short
silky night dress fuck I'm wet by look I took it off
and threw it on the laundry busker wet my towel
and wiped my self I made my way to the
bedroom i applied hand lotions on my hands
brushed my hair back and took a doek and put it
on
I took my phone I was about to check how's mom
doing but Mvelo got in bed and kissed my neck
pulling me to him
Me : when last did you speak to Sli ? " he stopped
kissing me and looked at me
Him :there is nothing to talk about with that

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women "
Me : Mvelo what about Zithelo ?"
Him : come on Sbahle ... We doing this right now
?! we just found out that we pregnant instead of
celebrating this name of that women is bounced
around in my bedroom hayi Mani you killing my
hype " I looked at him
Him : woza LA "
Me : Mvelo ... " he did not allow me to finish his
lips were on me
Him : I missed you "
Me : I miss you too "
He kissed me hungrily and I found my self
dropping my phone in the process he was kissing
me so passionately that I found my body
betraying again I pressed my legs together when I
felt his wet warm kiss on my neck his hands
traveled to my breast the silk material made him
noun and his touch felt so good as I joined on his
mouth he stopped and looked at me We’d look
into each other’s eyes with hunger and love than
it hit me his on top of me I could feel his big thing
on my legs his moving closer his elbow resting on
my pillow The warm feeling rush all over my body
My body tightened. I wasn’t ready. I was lost in

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thought unpleasant thought and my body still felt
those emotions. I smiled not wanting to reject
him not wanting to make him feel bad not
wanting this reality and wishing I could just flip
gears suddenly like all those women in every
show we’ve ever seen.
I sighed lightly as he nestled his mouth into my
neck … his breath hot breath hit my ear
Him : hle - hle may I make love to you please ?
' his lips soft. I could feel him press hard against
me as he pulled me close and tight to him
I love this man but now wasn’t right for me or was
it I wouldn't know ... I can't deny him was
his Shame and fear rose in me like a brushfire. I
wanted to run be someone else so I pushed it all
away pretended it wasn’t there and lifted hid
head to look at me
Me : don't hurt Hlelo "
He smiled in my mouth " I promised ... "
His hand slid under my night dress ooh god I'm
not even wearing any underwear he cupped my
left breast. I wanted him but the want was distant
— like an echo — because now I was distant.
That’s the thing about denying your reality about
forcing yourself to be and think and feel in ways

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that aren’t fully grounded in your truth. You can’t
choose which feelings to wall off; They all float off
into the distance like an infinitely long string of
balloons still tied to your throat.
Somewhere in my head I knew this but the pain of
dealing with that and dealing with his
disappointment at the same time felt far too
heavy. … You’re fine… Just go with the flow… I told
myself.
Me : baby make me forget please ... "
Me : baby make me forget please ... "
he hands trace my body so gently so softly I
turned and pressed my lips to his Already my
night dress was stripped of he was really getting
me wormed up by kissing my whole body I will ark
my back when he kiss the most sensitive part like
my breast or sucking on my clit already my mind
was filled with pressure and anticipating on
feeling him inside me he spend hours down there
making come with his hands and mouth and
tongue I was screaming pulling on the sheets and
calling out his name he finally came to contact
with my face and I tasted my juices on him his
leg's slowly parted my legs apart I felt his monster
nocking on my entrance

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Him : are you sure about this ? " I could not talk I
was sex funked up that I just nodded at First i feel
pressure i flinched
Him : baby relax ... Its me ... Its me babe "' he said
that looking me dip in the eyes while he slowly
enters me my walls stretch I could feel slight pain
as they accommodated him it then felt warmer
and warmer the more his penis went inside It
might sound obvious but it’s like being filled up.
Him : did it hurt ? " he said softly after he was
moaning
All along he looked at me I shook my head " no "
Him : I'm going to move now stop me when you
feel pain .."
I nodded his stroke were not rushed there were
slow I would say there’s definitely a sense of
euphoria once his penis started to move it felt
soooooo good. There’s an initial rush through my
body. Definitely not as intense as an orgasm but
still gets my blood pumping and my heart racing
sending shivers through my body. It’s tingly and
good sensitive around the outer vagina but inside
he was entering places I had no idea were there
Me : mmmmm Mvelo ooh my God "
Him : you good " he said with no rush in the

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wold It’s like i finally discovering the correct key
for the door- unlocking the doorway to pleasure "
oooh my Good this fees so good "
He kissed me with hunger pulling my body to his
making us one his dip inside me but I felt no pain
but I felt like screaming his name and so I did he
was kissing and biting on my neck on my jaw line
his hands Squeezed my breast this is one of my
favourite feelings in the entire world. I was
moaning he was moaning I was holding his back
and running my nails grabbing his flash the
sensation of his monster entering me coupled
with his weight on top of me is just felt so
amazing
Him : I'm going to go faster baby "
I was a mess he has gave me multiple orgasm and
I don't know how much I could take as promised
his going fast not to fast to hurt me but to make
me scream in pleasure ‘It feels like a really good
stretch. Like when your muscles are tense and you
just reach out and feel things open up and release
tension. It’s weird to describe I know because
without sex my vagina definitely doesn’t
feel empty but during sex fullness is the main
sensation. That I don't want to come down from

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his calling my name his growling very loud him
going in and out back and fourth Its like his penis
sliding in was always meant to be there and I
don't want him to stop.
" fuck ... Fuck I love you ... Yes Sbahle " his cursing
and screaming his hitting my G spot I'm loosing
my mind I'm building up
Him : wait for me baby please "
Me : I can't ... "
Him : I'm close I'm ...close " I felt him tense up
while my body went on frenzy too i screamed as
he moaned louder and he collapse on too of
me There's nothing more magical than being so
super connected to your partner that you happen
to orgasm at the same time he stayed on that
position for a while and finally gently pulled out
kissed my lip he rested next me while we both
catch our breath
Him : wow "
Me : what just happened "
Him : I made love to you ... " I looked at him and
screamed waving my legs on the air
Him : Sbahle Mani !"
Me : ooh my God it felt so good mvelo ... It was an
out of this world experience

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... "
He shut me up with his lips on mine
Him : you haven't seen nothing this was just a
starter main cause is coming " he kissed my lips
.

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