PROLOGUE

7YEARSAGO
“Futhiwakeup.”Igroanandgobackt osleep.Ihate
i
twhensomeonedi stur
bsmypeacef ulsl
eep.He
shakesmeagai n,thisti
memaki ngsurethatIreally
wakeup.“ Wakeupmyl ove.Mypar ent
sar ehere.
”
Owwshi t,Ij
umpoutoft hebed.Ilookathim hoping
thathewillsayhewasj oking.Ir
unmyhands
throughmymesseduphai r.

Me:
“whatt
imei
sit
?”
Hi
m:“
iti
s10am.
”
Me:
“shi
twhydi
dn’
tyouwakemeupear
ly?
”
Him:
“ y
ouaretheonewhohat
esbei
ngwokenup
andyouref
usedwhentowakeupwhenIwokey
ou
upear
li
er.
”

Irol
lmyey esandgot othebathroom, br
ushmy
teet
handgeti ntheshower .AftershoweringIdrymy
body,loti
onandgetdr essedinabel owtheknee
ti
ghtblackdr ess.Iheaddownst air
sandf i
ndhi m
sit
ti
ngi nthelonguewi thhisparents.Igr
eetandsi t
nexttohim.Hi smot herlooksli
keshei saboutt o
bust,IhopeIam nott hecausebuti fl
ookscanki l
lI
would’vebeen6f eetunderthewayshei sst ar
ingat
me.

HisDad:“
sonwecamet ot
alkt
oyouabout
somethi
ngimpor
tant
.”
Him:“
youcantal
kinf
rontofFut
hif
ather
,ther
eisno
needf
orhert
oexcuseus.”
HisMom: “
whatisshetoyou?Gir
lyt
hisi
safamily
matter.Makeyoursel
fusef
ular
oundthehouseand
stopstari
ngatus.”Wow,shedoesn’
tknowmey et
shedisli
keme.
Hi
m:“guy
sj ustt
alksot
hatyoucanbeony
ourway
.
Wehaveplanstodaywi
thFuthi
.”
HisDad: “
wefoundawi feforyout omarry.
MathapeloShabal
ala,daughterofThapeloShabalal
a
ofMshenguHol di
ngs.Thismar ri
agewillstr
engthen
ourbusinessandweneedal li
ancesli
ket hese.I
tisa
goodbusinessmov e,
thecomi ngtogetheroftwo
powerfulfami
li
es.
”
Him:“butdadIhav
emyowngirl
fr
iendwhoissi
tti
ng
r
ightnexttome.Whatmakesy
out hi
nkIwi
l
lagree
t
oanar rangedmarr
iage?
”
HisMom: “
whatdoesshebr ingstothetable?
Mat hapel
owillbebringi
ngmi l
li
onsofherfami l
y’
s
money .Yena?”shesay slookingatmewi thdisgust
.
Iam temptedtot el
lherthatIam aqualifi
ed
archit
ectbutIjustkeepmymout hshut
.
Hi
m: “mom Iwil
lnotal
l
owy
out
odi
srespectmy
gi
rl
fr
iendl
ikethat
.”

Hi
sDad: “
sonyouhav
etwoopti
ons.Marr
y
Mathapel
o,mer
geMshenguHol
dingsandSi
mel
ane
Holdi
ngs, betheCEOoft hemul t
i-
mi l
li
onaire
companyorl oseev erythi
ng,yourinheri
tance,your
posit
ioninthecompany ,
yourcarsandhouses.The
balli
sinyourcourt.Thi nkaboutyourmov ewisely.
”
Hest oodupandext endedhishandst ohiswi fe,
“l
et’
sgomyl ove.
”Shest oodupandt heyl ef
t.Sabelo
keptquietandstaredatt hefloor
.

Me:
“sowhatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo?
”
Him: “
whyar eyour ushingme?Ihav eev er
ythingto
l
oseher e.Cany oujustkeepquiet?”wow.Ikept
quietandfoldedmyar mstomychest .30mi nutes
passedhef inal
l
ybr eathedoutloudly
.“ HowaboutI
takeyouasmysecondwi f
e?Idon’tl
ov eMat hapel
o
butIdol ov
ey ou.Iwillmarryherthenmar ryyou.”I
chuckledandst oodup.

Me:“l
ist
enhereSabelo.Iam NtombifuthiCele.Iam
aquali
fi
edarchi
tectandanengi neer
ingunder grad.I
am notdesper
ate.JustbecauseIloveyoudoesn’ t
meanIwi l
lbesecondbestorset t
leforless.Your
suggesti
onst ell
smey oul ovemoneymor ethanme.
Iwil
l makeasi mpledecisionforthebothofus.Iti
s
over.Don’
tcont actme,don’tcomet omyapar tment,
anddon’tbot hermysibli
ngsaboutmywher eabouts.
What ev
ert hatwasgoingonbet weent hetwoofus
endsnow.Iwi l
lnotbegy outomakemey ourfir
st
becausey ouhav ealr
eadymadeadeci si
onfor
yoursel
fthatwi l
lbenefi
tyou.Thisisgoodbye.”

Ibr
eat
hedoutloudlywithtear
sthreat
eningtocome
out
.Iwentupstai
rs,packedever
ythi
ngthatbelonged
tomeandlefthim wit
hhishousejustl
ikethat
.

Thatwast hel astti

meIsawhi m.Mont hslaterIsaw
hisweddingi namagazi ne.Iwashear tbrokenand
shatt
ered.Ilov edhim andgav ehim myal l
.Ithought
hewillcomebeggi ngf ormet otakehim back.Iwas
wrong.Hechosehi sinheri
tanceinst
eadoff i
ghting
forourlove.Inev erreall
ydependedonSabel of or
mysur vi
val.Iwasanempl oyeeatHlongwa
Archi
tectssoIhadaj obandIwasst ableandcoul d
pr
ovi
def
ormy
sel
f…
.
.
.
Thebegi
nni
ngofani
nter
est
ingj
our
ney
I
NTRODUCTI
ON

Thenamei sNt ombifuthiLwandlelethuCel eIam 29

yearsold.Ihav e4sibli
ngs, wearef i
v eal t
oget her
andIam t hesecondchi l
d.Mymot heri sSijabulil
e
andmyf atherisSi
yabul el
a.Thef i
rstchi ldis
Busisi
weDumakude( 32)( sheismar ried),thet hi
rd
chil
disSi bulel
e(24)(thefirstson),t
hef ourthchildi
s
Nothando( 21)andt helastbor nisGci nokuhl e(17)
(t
hesecondson) .Soi t
’s3gi rl
sand2boy s.

Myl ovefordr
awing, archit
ecturetobepr eci
se,
start
edwhenIwasdoi nggrade8, whenIwas12
yearsold.Mymot herbr oughtmeadi ar
yt owri
teal
l
thethingsIwasgoi ngt hr
oughasIwasappr oachi
ng
teenagehoodbuti nsteadIdr ew.Idrewhouses,
mansi ons,
castl
es,bridges,tall
buil
dings.Whenmy
mot hersawmydi ary/notebooksheshowedi ttomy
fatherandtosayhewasi mpr essedwouldbean
understatement
.Theywer eintheprocessof
renovati
ngourchildhoodhomesot heyusedoneof
mysket chestoguidet hem.Iwast aughtEGDfrom
grade10t o12.

HenceIst udi edarchit

ect ureandengineeringi n
varsi
ty.Iam cur rentl
ytheCEOandt heonl y
shareholderofDubandl elaConst r
ucti
onCompany .It
i
sami xtureofar chit
ectur eandconstructionunder
oner oof.Sowedr awanddesi gnbuil
dingsandwe
alsobuildt hem.Wegett enderstobuil
dmal ls,
schools,hospi t
als,hotels,youcannamet hem.
Thereisal soadepar tmentf orint
eri
ordesi gning.I
alsodogoonsi t
eandgetmyhandsdi rtysomet imes,
nottooof ten.Iownmycompany ,meaningIhav eno
boardmember s.

Well
Iam achubbygir
lbybi
rt
h.Ihaveneverhada
sl
i
m body.Bot
hBusisi
weandNot handohavemodel
bodiesbutmeIam y ourt ypicalCel esteNt ulibody
ty
pe.Ihav ecaramel skin.Idohav ebigassandbi g
boobsi t
’sj
ustthatIam asi ze42.Si ncepr i
mar yI
havebeenbodyshamedt osuchanext entthatin
hi
ghschool Iattempt edtocommi tsuicidewhena
pi
ctureofmenakedt rended.Af teral otoft herapyI
l
eantt oacceptmy selfforwhoIam.Ihav enev er
att
empt edtoexerciseorusepr oduct sforsl i
ming.I
haveshoulderlengthbr ownhai r,Istyl
ei tallt
het i
me,
andIhar dl
ybraidmyhai r.Iam notaweav eora
bondingperson.Iam av eryf l
exibleper sonandI
havekill
erdancemov eslikeBusi swa.

Oneoft hewei r
destthingsaboutmei st hatmyey es
areturquoisei ncolor
.You’ dthinkthatIusecont act
l
ensesbutnoIhav enat uralweirdeyes.Someki ds
oncespr eadt herumor st hatImayhav eSat ani
sm
becauseofmyey ecolorbuti ttookast atement
fr
om anopt omet r
isttoputt hoserumor st obed.I
havenocel luli
teorstretchmar ksbutIr espect
womenwhohav ethem becauset heyarepar tofwho
wear e.I
nr elati
onshipst hatIhavehadi nt hepast
mostguy swouldjustfuckandpass, t
heywoul dbe
embar rassedtobeseenwi thmei npubli
c,t
hey
woul dn’
tpostme.Sobasi call
yIam abedwar mer
butnotgi rl
fri
endmaterial
.SoIdecidedtostop
datingandj usthavefuckbuddiesandoneni ght
stands.

Ili
veal oneinmy10bedr oomshousei nWar ner
Beach.Mycompanyi ssituatedi nArenaPar k.My
parent sandt hetwoy oungersubl i
ngsl i
vein
Mor ningside.Busi l
iv
esinNor thwestwi thher
husbandand2ki ds.Sibuleleli
v esinNor thgate,heis
asinger ,songwriterandpr oducer .Basicall
yhei sa
celebrity
.AsIdon’ tli
kethespot li
ght,het ri
esso
mucht okeepmeawayf r
om i tbutwehangout
togethermostoft hetimesoIdomaket he
paparazzi everynowandt hen.Outofal lofmy
sibli
ngshei st heoneIam cl osesttof oll
owedby
Gcino.Busi andThandonev erwant edt obe
associ at
edwi thmebecauseIam t oobi gfort hem.
Myr el
ati
onshipwi thmyparentsisnotbad,
notgood
eit
her.Wedogetal ongbutwearenotbestof
fri
endshowev ertheydosupportmydr eamsand
theyarealwayst herewhenIneedthem.Father
worksintheof f
iceoftheMay orofDurbani
nt he
fi
nancedepar t
mentandmot heri
ssalesmanagerat
SMGi nBalli
to.
WellIam blacksuccessfult
hickwomanandIhav e
l
eantthatpeopl ebodyshamingmewon’ tmakemy
bankaccountf atter
.Sorat
herignor
ethem andl
i
ve
mylifet
ot hefullest
.
CHAPTER1

PRESENTDAY
Iwakeupi nthemor ni
ng, washmyf ace,brushmy
teet
handconnectmyphonet omyBl uetooth
speakertoplaymymor ni
ngj am fr
om Spot ify
.Ilov
e
musicsoal mostev erytimewheny oucomet omy
houseyouwi llf
indmel i
steningtomusi c.Imaket he
bed,openthecur t
ainsandwi ndowswhi l
edancingt o
themusic.Itakeoutmyout f
itforthedayf rom my
walkinclosetwhichi saf l
oralumbr el
laskirtandred
shir
twithredhotlace- uppointedtoeheel s.Ilay
them ni
celyonmybedandgot othekitchen.Imake
mycupofcof f
eedr i
nki tandpr epareforwor k.

Aft
erIam donewit
hever
ythi
ngIheadoutthef
ront
doorandIam metbymyhousekeeperKgomot
so.
Sheusual lysleepsoutonSunday s.Weexchange
greeti
ngsandIheadt ot hegarageanddr i
veoutmy
si
lvergreyAmar okdoubl ecabwithacanopyt owork.
Iam abi ggi r
lsoIl ov
ebi gcar sandIhav elotsofbig
cars.Iarri
v eatwor kandpar katmyusual parking
spot.Itakemyl aptopbag, handbag, drawi
ng
storagetubewhi chcarriesmysket chesandgetout
ofthecar .Ilockitandheadi nsi
det hebuil
ding.Iam
metbymyf oreversmi l
inggayr eceptioni
st.His
namei sLi ndanibuthehasconv i
ncedal most
everyonet ocallhim Lindsay.

Me:
“mor
ningLi
ndsay
.”OhhIal
socal
lhi
mthat
.
Him: “
mor ni
ngMissJi
ll
Scott
.”Healwayscal
l
sme
thatandheisfor
eversmil
i
ngifheisn’
tbei
ng
dramatic.
Me:“
howwasyourweekend?
”hest
art
sfanni
ng
hi
mself
,owwboyher
eitcomes.
Him:“
girl
itwaslit.Weweret
herewithaboSomizi
,
aboStha,gi
rlIam tel
l
ingy
ou,youmissedoutshame.
Nextt
imeIam dr aggi
ngyout
ot hecl
ub.Wecan’t
haveyoucoopedupi nthatmansionofyours.You
mustgetlaid.Whoknowsmay beyouhaveturneda
vir
ginagai
n.”Il aughsohar d.Ther
eisneveradul l
momentwi tht hisone.ButIt hi
nkheisri
ghtabout
thevir
ginpart.Idon’tevenr ememberthelastti
meI
gotlai
d.

Me:“whatev
erbit
ch,sowherei
sBobo?”BoboifIam
notmist
akenishisboyf
ri
endorfl
i
ng,Idon’
tknow.
Hi
m: “
Idumpedhi sbr
okeassf
ortheweekend,
he
wascock-
blocki
ngmeFuthyandIcoul
dn’
tdeal.
”
Me: “youknowwhatwewi l
lcontinuethi
schatsome
othertimeandmay beIwi llt
akey ouupont hatclub
offer.
”Iwalktotheel evatorleavi
nghi m scr
eaming
myname.Lonwabo, theCFOr ushest otheel
evator
beforeitcl
oses.Hepr esseshi sfl
oorandmi netoo.I
dohav emyownpr ivateelevatorwhi chIonl
yuse
whenIam noti ngoodmood, angry,
sickorwhen
thereisanemer gency .

Hi
m:“
howar
eyoudoi
ngboss?
”
Me:
“li
fei
sgood.Howar
eyou?
”
Hi
m:“
Iam ov
ert
hemoon.TheMr
s.i
spr
egnant
.”
Me:“wowthat’
sawesomeman.Congr ats.Who
knows,maybeyoumightear
nyoursel
fapat er
nit
y
l
eaveifIam i
ngoodmood.”Hisf
acelightsup.
Hi
m:“
real
l
y?You’
ddot
hatf
orme.
”
Me: “IsaidImi ghtnowgett owor k.
”Isayast he
elevatoropensathi sf loor.Hechuckl esandst eps
out.Itclosesagai nandopensonmyf l
oor.Yeahy ou
heardt hatIhav emyownf loor.Idon’tl
ikenoise
whenIam wor ki
ng,Ipr efermyownspace.Al though
Isharei twit
hmyPAbuti t’
sbet terthanshari
ngwi th
theempl oy
ees.Ient ermyof fi
ceandIf indmy
breakfastandcof f
eeonmydesk.Il ovemyPAso
much.Sheget sme, sheunder st andsmeandshe
knowsmei nandout .Isitonmydeskandst art
eati
ngmybr eakfast.Sheget sint hedoor.

Zanel
e:“
mor
ningboss.Howwasy
ourweekend?
”
Me:
“sameol
dsameol
d.Howwasy
our
s?”
Her
:“good.
”
Me:
“sowhat
’shappeni
ngt
oday
?”
Her
:“y
ouar
emeet
ingPr
inceKuhl
eZul
u.”
Me:“TheePr
inceKuhl
eZul
u?Thef
utur
eki
ngoft
he
Zul
uKingdom?”
Her
:“y
ept
hatone.
”
Me:
“whatdoeshewant
?”
Her:“
fory
out odesi
gnhisfamil
yhomeandahome
hewouldstayatonceheiscrownedKing.Andf
or
yourt
eam toputyourvi
sioni
ntoacti
on.”
Me:“
wowthat
’sgr
eat
.Iti
ssuchanhonor
.Sowhen
ar
ewemeeti
nghim?”
Her
:“i
n30mi
nut
es.
”
Me: “
okay .Setuptheboar
droom please.Idon’twant
hiscologneintoxi
cati
ngmyoffi
ce.”Shel aughsand
thenheadsout .

Ihavenev
erworkedwithroyal
tybefor
esoforme
thi
sisnewandexcit
ing.Andthefactt
hatIwi
ll
be
designingt
hef uturepalacei ti
ssoawesome.My
i
nnergoddessi sdoi ngThusoPhal a.30minutes
l
aterZahcomest omyof ficesay i
nghehasar ri
ved
andhebr oughthi swifeal ongwi thafewguar ds.No
off
encebutPr incessZul ui sy ourtypi
calt
rophywife
whol ooksli
keshehassnobbi shtendenci
es.Ijust
hopeshewon’ thav esi l
l
ydemands.Igett ot he
boardroom wit
hmyt abletandsi tdownaf t
er
exchanginggreetingswi tht hem.

Me:“soPr
inceZulumyPAtel
l
smey
ouwantmet
o
desi
gn2ofy ourhomes?
”
Him: “
yeahthat’
sbasicall
yitandpleasecallme
Kuhle.
”Hesay swi t
hasmi le.Thewiferol
lshereyes.
OhhhowIwi shLindsaywasal soatt
endingthi
s
meet i
ng.He’dknowhowt odealwithher.Hesounds
sopolitef
oraf ut
ureking,Ihavenodoubtt he
Zulul
andwi l
lbeingoodhandsunderhi sr ei
gn.

Me:“soKuhl
ecanyougi
vemeaclearv
iewofwhat
youwantandwher
eexact
lywi
l
lyoubebuil
ding
t
hesehomes?
”Iaskwi
thaf
ri
endl
ysmi
l
eonmyf
ace.
Him:“wel
lthefi
rstonewil
lbeateMandlanzi
nij
ust
outsi
deRi
chardsBayandt hesecondonewil
lbeat
KwaNongoma, Enyokeni
.”
Me:“soyourv
isi
ononthefi
rstone?Youwanta
dr
amat i
cUmhlangamansi
onory ourhomel
y
mansion?”

Him: “wellIhav el
ivei ntheci t
yfortoolongsoIam
toretiretoeMandl anzi niandhav epeacenje.Idon’t
wantadr amat i
ctriplestor yhouse.Iwantahy bri
d
house.Amansi onbutwi thatouchoft heZulu
culture.Youknowt hoseNdebel ehomeswi th
colorfuldesignsout side?”Inod.“Yeahsomet hing
l
iket hatbutt heZulucul ture.I
tmustal sohavea
rondav elbutnoty ourol dfashionedrondavel
,a
moder none.”Thewi f
ecl earsherthroat.

Her:“
canwedi scusstherondav
eli
ssuehoney
?Iam
notdi
sputi
ngitbutcanweputonhol dthemaybewe
canbuil
dityearslat
er?”
Hi
m: “whoi
spayingfort
hesehouses?
”Nya.
Awkward.“
Thoughtso.SoMaCeledoyouseemy
vi
sion?”
Me:
“yesandIal
readyhav
eapi
ctur
eofy
ourhouse
i
nmind.
”
Him: “
itmusthav eabout10bat hroomsanda
garaget hatcanaccommodat e8car s.”Ohhwowso
manycar s.“yahIhav emanycar sandIknowt hey
won’tfitinthisgar agesoot herswi ll
bet ransport
ed
toNongoma. ”Hesmi r
ksandInodandj otdowna
fewnot es.Hei sv erychar ming,Iwouldn’tmi nd
bei
nghi s2ndwi fe, j
ustkidding.“Ineeditt obea
doublest ory.Ialsowantabasement ,mancav eli
ke,
butwewi lldi
scussal lit
sf eaturesoncet hehouse
hasbeenbui lt.
”

Me:
“andt
hesecondone?
”
Him: “
yes,Iwanti
ttohaveahugemai nhouseal so
wit
hat ouchofourcult
ure.I
tmusthaveabout20
bedrooms.1ancestor
s’rondaveli
nthebackyard
andanotheronejustf
orcontrol
.Alsoi
sibay
af orthe
cowsandalsot hegoats.Afencethatcover
s
ever
ythi
ng.Iactual
lywantanAf r
icancast
le,af
teral
l
Iam t
obeKi ng.”Somanybedr ooms,thi
sisahot el
notahouse.Ihavenev erdesi
gnedacastlebefor
e
sothi
sisagr eatchal
lengeforme.

Wife:“what
’swit
hy ouandrondavel
shoney?What
happenedtooldfashionedfl
atsormaybe2
bedroom fl
ats?Whyar eyoul
oosingyour
sel
fbabe?
”
Him:“Ihaveameet ingacrosst
owni nanhour.I
don’
thav eti
mef oryourwhini
ng.Yousaidyou
wantedtobepr esenttothi
smeet i
ngnottomake
yourpresencetobeheardsopl easedon’
twastemy
ti
meandhert i
me.”Hesay spoi
ntingatme.“So
whencanIgett hesketchesNkosazana?”

Me:“
nextweekTuesday
.Setupal
unchmeet
ing
wi
thZah.
”
Hi
m:“
wil
ldo.
”
Me:
“What
’sy
ourbudget
?”
Hi
m:“
nobudget
.”Mmm abo8f
igur
esmadoda.
Me: “okayIguesst hatconcl
udesourmeet i
ng.I
fyou
feelli
keyouhav elef
toutsomedetail
sony our
explaini
ngfeel fr
eetocontactmeduringtheweekto
addal sofeelfreetocomeandcheckont he
progress.Pleasedosendmet hemeasurementsof
thesiteswher ewewoul dbebuil
ding.
”
Hi
m:“
wil
ldo.
”Ist
andupandt
heyal
sost
andup.
Me:
“Iwi
l
lbewai
ti
ngf
ort
hem.
”
Kuhle:“Iam tr
usti
ngy oungekhayalami.Yourwor
k
speaksf ori
tsel
f.Ihopeaft
eryou’vedonewi t
hmy
housest henwecanmay beinthenearfutur
ework
together.
”
Me:
“thatwouldbeawesomeKuhl
e.Ni
hambekahle.
”
Weshakehandsandtheyl
eav
e.ZahandIheadback
t
omyof fi
ce.

Zah:“damnMr .Kistense.Heputshiswif
einher
pl
ace.Phelathatwomanhasnomanner sandhas
norespectforanyone.Iam act
ual
lysur
pri
sedthat
shei
sthi
sobedi
entt
ohi
shusband.
”
Me:
“howdoy
ouknowher
?”
Zah: “
mysi sterwor ksast hei
rmaid.Shesaysall
the
Mr s.Doesisj ustsitanddr i
nkchampagnewithher
fri
ends,got ocl ubs.Shedoeswhat evershel
iv
es.
Shel i
vesal i
feofasi ngl
ewomanandshei sa
terri
bleboss.”
Me:
“wel
lIam gl
adIwon’
tbewor
kingwi
thher
.”
Zah:
“meandy
oubot
hboss.
”Webot
hlaugh.

Sheheadst oherof ficeandIst artwi thtoday ’

swor k.
Noma, mybest -
fri
end,text
smet ell
ingmeabout
l
unch.Icont i
nuewor ki
ngandwhenl uncht i
me
approachesIt akemyhandbag, phone, wal l
etand
headoutt omeetheratMcDonal ds.If i
ndher
alr
eadyt her
eandIt akeaseataf terexchangi ng
greeti
ngsandhugs.Sheor der edbef oreIarri
v ed
becausesheknowswhatIl ike.Thewai t
erbringsour
foodtot hetable.Iwonderhowmuchshepai dt obe
served.Sheisav er
ypunctual per son.Wemetat
varsi
ty,wedidt hesamecour sebutsheal sodi dLLB
soshei
sanadv
ocat
e,Adv
ocat
eNomal
angaBi
yel
a.

Noma: “y
ohBoot yyouwil
lneverbel
i
ev ewhat
happenedthi
sweekend?”DidIment i
ont hatsheis
alsoapartyf
reak?Shealsocall
sme‘ Booty ’
because
Ihaveabigbutt.Sheisv
erydramati
c, t
herear ea
veryf
ewmoment swhereshedoesn’tactlikeagay
onsteroi
ds.
Me:“letmeguess,
youmety ourmatch?
”shealways
goclubbing,
meetaguy ,
fuckforamaxof4day s
andshepasseson.Ifthedickisgoodshecanstay
for2weeks.Shehatescommi tment.
Noma: “howdidyouknow?”webothl augh.
“Anywaysthi
soneistheone.Icanfeel i
tinmy
bones.”Il
aughbecausei
tisal
way sthesamething
withher.
Me: “howishisdickgame? ”shestar
tsfanni
ng
herselfandspreadsherlegstofanhercooki
e.You
see,dramati
ct endenci
es.
Noma: “
11/10Booty
.Damnthatguybrokemy
vi
rgi
nit
yall
overagai
n.I
twasli
keit’
sthefi
rstt
imeI
am hav ingsex.Hi smachi ney oh.Thef actthathis
dickissol ong, sothick,
itfil
l
sme, compl etesme
andt hef actt hatheknowshowt ousei t
.Theway s
hemov eshi swai st
,OhGodIj usthadanor gasm
j
ustt hinki ngabouthi m.Her ippedmynanaapar t
bruh.”Il aughandshegi ggles.Damnshehasr eal
ly
methermat ch.“BootyIam t ell
i
ngy ou,hedoesn’ t
evenhav et hatbodyt hatdrivesmecr azy,the
muscl es, t
heabs.Nohei sjustski nnybutnott oo
skinny.Ei shIdon’ tknowhowt odescr i
behi m
any mor e, i
twoul dbebesti fyouseehi mf or
yourself.”Ichokei nmyshake.

Me: “
saywhatnow? !
”shehasneverint
roducedher
fl
ingstome.Mai nl
ybecausesomet i
messhedoesn’t
evenremembert heirnamesandsheknowsi tisnot
thatseri
ous.Iam l
ikeaparentt
oher.Tohermy
approvalmeansal ot.
Noma:
“any
way
sthet
hingi
shei
sawai
ter
.”
Me:“so?Doyouwantaser
iousrelat
ionshi
pwith
sui
tornumber147?
”webothlaugh,ofcourseshe
hasn’
tsl
eptwi
thmor
ethanahundr
edmenbutnj
e.
Noma: “Idon’tknowwhataseri
ousrelat
ionshipis.I
don’tknowifIwannaendmyst ress-
fr
eel if
eaguyI
j
ustmet .GoshIhav enev
erbeenconfli
ctedliket
his
beforeBooty,whatshoul
dIdo?”whyissheaski ng
forarelat
ionshipadvi
cefr
om asingl
eper son?
Me:“youareaskingthewrongpersonnana.Let’
sgo
toLi
ndelwa,shewillknowwhattodo.”Lindel
wais
ourf
ri
endwhohappenst obeatherapist
.Weal way
s
askf
oradv i
cefrom herwhenweatcr ossroads.
Noma:
“soundsl
i
keapl
an.
”

Wegett oourcarsandheadtoherof fi
ce.Lucki
lywe
fi
ndthatherlunchhourwil
lbeoverin10mi nutes,
so
wewillusethisti
metoouradvantage.Webar gein
heroff
iceandf i
ndherst
uffi
ngherselfwit
hpizza.

Noma:“uphangel
ani?Akekhoozokucel
ayoh.Speed
ki
l
lsLee.”Shewipeshermouth,dri
nksherjui
ceand
si
tbackinherchair
.Wesitint
hev i
sit
ors’
chairsand
st
areather
.
Lee:
“letmeguesst
hisai
n’
tasoci
alv
isi
t?”
Me:
“youdon’
tdot
hosesowhyshoul
dwe?
”
Lee:“geesy ouwon’tevencomfortmewi t
hliesat
l
east.Bribemewi th6-packnyanayaFlyi
ngFi sh.The
ki
ndoff riendswekeep.”Weal ll
augh.Wedon’ tdo
soci
al vi
sitsatworkbecausewear everybusy
people.Weonl ybargeineachother’
soffi
ceswhen
wehav eemer genci
es.
Noma:“i
t’
saMondaybit
ch,
wemi ghtbedr
unkar
ds
butMondaysbel
ongt
oGod,ri
ght
?”what?
Lee:
“dudeSunday
sbelongtoGod.Idon’
tgot
o
chur
chbutIdoknowthat.
”
Noma:“Imustgetmyf act
sstrai
ght
.Ihavej
ust
embar
rassedmy sel
f.Iam anembarr
assmentt
othe
Jar
gonworld.
”Wel aughather.
Lee:
“sowhat
’son?
”
Me:“
shet
hinksshei
sinl
ove.
”Isaypoi
nti
ngat
Nomawit
hmyey es.
Lee:
“sameol
dsameol
d.”Shesay
srol
l
ingherey
es
Noma: “
nothi
sti
meit’
sdiff
erent
.Iam ser
ious,
it’
s
di
ffer
ent.Hei
ssogoodinbedandhasagenui ne
heart
.Ievenr
ememberhisname.HeisKhany a
Mlambo.Buthei
sawaiterTase.
”
Lee: “what ’
swr ongabouthi m bei ngawai ter?”her eit
comes.Nomashr ugs.“Wear ei nt he21stcent ury
Tasewher ether ear eindependentwomen
ev erywher e.Al thought henor mi st hemani s
‘
supposed’ t
oear nmor ethanawomani nor dert obe
respect edbutt hati snotit.Respecti snotbasedon
monet ar ythingsori phaket hel omunt u.Youchoose
tor espectaper son.Don’ tsuf ferf r
om t he‘abant u
bazot hi nisyndr ome’ Tase.Uf undi lewenaf ort hat
bul l
shit( you’reeducat ed).Ot herpeopl e’suseless
opi ni
onsshoul dn’ tmat ter
.Dat ey ourwai ter,be
happy .Iforoneappr ovey ourr elationshipandIam
happyt haty ouf inall
yfoundl ov e.Lov eisabeaut i
ful
thingandi tcanbef oundi nther arestpl aces.For
exampl eapast orcanf i
ndl ov ei nadr unkar d.Peopl e
mayj udgeandt alkallbullshitaboutt hem buti fiti
s
truelov ethepast orwillstandupf ortheirlove.Nawe
i
fy out hinkit’struel ovet henscr ewev erybody .Itis
abouty
ouandy
ourhappi
nessTase.
”

Me:“
yousee?Iwasn’
tgonnasayhal
ftheshi
tshe
j
ustment
ioned.
”Wealll
augh.
Noma: “
IguessIknowwhatt odonow.Imeanwho
caresifIhave7figuresonmyper sonalaccount.I
mustgogetmyman. ”Wehy peher.“Ir
eall
yhav ea
goodf eel
ingaboutthis.Sohel
pmeGod. ”Aft
er
chatt
ingaboutothert hi
ngswegobackt oourjobs.
.
.
.
PLEASEshowsomel
ovebyl
i
king,
comment
ingand
shar
ing
CHAPTER2

Thenextdayiti
sworkasusual.Afterl
uncht
ime
someonebargesinmyoff
icewhi l
eIam busyonmy
drawi
ngboardwitht
heZuluproject
.

Me: “
thedoorist her
ef orar
eason.Youknock, you
aregivenper
mi ssionthenyouenter
.Simplemat h.
”I
hatebeingdi
sturbedwhenIam i nmydr awingboard
becauseonceIl oseconcentr
ati
onitishardt oget
backtowhatIwasdoi ngbefor
eIwasdi sturbed.
Mrs.Zul
u: “
Idon’thaveti
mef orthat.Iwannatalk
busi
ness.
”Shesi t
sdownont hev i
sitor
’schai
rand
pl
acesherdesi gnerbagonmyt able.Irai
semyhead
andlookstrai
ghtinhereyes.Ther easonwhyIhav e
myownf looristhatIdon’
twantunexpect edvisi
tor
s.
Wherethefucki sZahwheny ouneedher ?Istandup
fr
om myseatandgosi
tont
hechai
rbehi
ndmydesk.
Istar
eather
.
Me:“
owwpleasetakeaseat,makey
our
sel
f
comf
ort
abl
e.”Isaysar
cast
ical
ly
.
Her:“
youbett
erdropyourst
inkyat
ti
tudeormy
husbandandItaket
hebusinessel
sewhere.
”
Me: “t
hereisthedoor ,
takey ourproj
ectelsewhereI
don’tgiv
eaf uck.IknowIam t hebestatwhatIdo
soIwon’ tbeg.”Ihatespoi
lthousewi ves.They
alwaysmakemywor kdiff
icultwhenbui l
dinghouses.
InfactIhateclient
swhot hinkIwillgohungr y
withoutthei
rmoney .Sherollsherey es.
Her:
“anywaysIwantyoutocancelt
herondavels
andIwantyoutodesignaTuscanmansion.Ibeli
eve
youknowwhatiti
s.”Ireal
l
yhateherty
pe.Ifakea
smil
e.
Me:“any
thi
ngy ouwantMrs.Zul
u.Nowi fyoumay
pl
easeexcusemeIhav eaTuscansketchesto
dr
aw.”Shestandsupandtakesherbag.
Her:“
gladwecoul
dcomet oanagr
eement.”She
say
swi thasmi
leandheadsoutwi
thherheels
echoi
ngi
nthewhol
eoffi
ce.BITCH!Zahr
ushesi
nmy
off
icewi
thawor
ri
edexpressi
on.

Zah:
“bossIam sosorr
y.Iwasgett
ingyourr
eport
fr
om themarket
ingt
eam.Ididn’
tevengotolunch.
”
Me:“noneedtoapol
ogi
zeZah.Pleaseorganizea
di
nnermeeti
ngwithKuhl
e.Ungi
jwayelakabiumfazi
wakhe.
”
Zah:“
oni
tboss.Herei
syourr
epor
t.
”Shehandsme
ther
epor
tandleav
e.

Icontinuedr awingandwhent heclockhits4pm I

fol
dmydr awings,takemyhandbag, phoneandcar
keysandheadt oZah’ soff
ice.Zaht ell
smet hat
Kuhlewi llbeablet omeetmeat7pm atar estaurant.
Iheadhomeandt akeabat h.AfterbathingIgot o
mybedr oom andsi tinmybed.Kgomot soent er
smy
room andser vememyl at
elunch,whi chisachi cken
andmay osandwi chwi t
hguav ajui
ce.Ieatt hent ake
thedishest ot hekitchen.
Igobackt ot hebedroom tot akeoutclothesthatI
wil
lbewear ingatt hedinner.Itakemysket chesand
gentl
yunf ol
dt hem inmydr awingt abl
e(Ihav eonei
n
myr oom too, i
ncaseIgeti nspirat
ionduringthe
ni
ght )
.Isetandal armf or6:
15pm andcont i
nuewith
mydr awing.Iam v erypassionatewithmyj ob,so
evenwhenIam busyImakesur eIfi
ndti
met odoit
.

At6:15Ist opwor ki
ngandst artgett
ingready .Ido
mymake- upandwearmycur l
yweav ewhi l
epl ayi
ng
Lizzo-GoodAsHel l
.Iwearmybl ackandwhi te
stri
pesdress, denimjacketandnudebl ockheel s.I
putonmycol ogne,takemyhandbag, phone, car
keysandheadoutaf terlocki
ngt hedoor.Iheadt o
therestaurantandIar r
ivether
e10mi nuteslate.

Ifi
ndKuhl
einsideandImustsayi fhewasn’t
marri
edIwouldhavehim evenfor1nightbecause
Godthepri
nceisfi
ne.Henot i
cesmewal king
towar
dshim andquickl
ystandsup.
Kuhle: “
MaCelehowareyou?”hesaysext
endinghi
s
hand, Ishakei
tandheopensthechai
rforme.
Gentlemanmuchhuh.Isitdownandheal sosit
s.
Me:
“Iam okay
,howar
eyouKuhl
e?”
Hi
m:“
Iam f
ine.
”Isi
gnal
awai
ter
.
Me:“ify
oudon’tmindIam f
ami shedsowewil
ltal
k
whil
eIam eat
ing.
”Hechuckles.Thewait
erar
ri
vesat
ourtabl
e.
Hi
m:“
Idon’
tmi
nd.
”
Me:“hi
,I
’dli
ket ohav
e¼gr il
ledchi
ckenwit
haperi
-
per
isauce,andalsoGreeksaladonthesi
deanda
moji
tococktai
l.AndfordesertI
’
dli
keOreoTruf
fl
es.
”
Kuhl
e:“
I’
dli
ket
hesamemai
ncour
sewi
thCast
lel
i
te
dumpy.
”
Wai
ter
:“comi
ngr
ightupy
ourmaj
est
y.”hel
eav
esus.
Me:“Castl
eLi t
e,real
l
y ?Iwasexpecti
ngtheregul
ar
‘
scotchont herocks’bever
age.”Helaughs.Hehasa
beauti
full
aughter.OwwFut hygetyourmindoffthe
gutt
er,heistaken.
Kuhl
e:“
sor
ryt
odi
sappoi
nt.
”Ichuckl
eandgost
rai
ght
t
obusi
ness.
Me:“Iwon’
tbedesi
gni
ngandbui
l
dingy
ourhouses
Kuhl
e.”Hi
sfacefal
l
s.
Hi
m:“
what
?Why
?”Ncoohhei
ssocut
eri
ghtnow.
Me:“Idon’ thaveti
met odeal withyourspoi l
twif
e.I
am abusi nesswoman.Busi nesscomet omeIdon’ t
gooutlooki ngforit
.Idon’tbegacl ient.Iwasreal
ly
l
ookingf orwardtobuildi
ngy ourhomesbutnoIdon’ t
havetimet odeal wit
har ealhousewi feofDurban.I
am real
lygoodatmyj obsoIhat eitwhenIhav eto
dealwithpeopl el
ikeherorbedi srespect edi
nmy
workplace. ”Herubshishandsi nhi shead.Youcan
seethathei shav
inginnerconf l
i
ct.
Hi
m:“
whatdi
dshedo?
”
Me: “
shecamet omyof fi
ce,
undermi nedmyj
ob.She
thi
nksshecansayj umpandI’dbelike‘HowHi
gh?’
owwpl ease.Iam notl
i
keeveryone.
”
Hi
m: “
Iam sor
ryf
orherbehavior
.Justpleasedon’
t
dr
opthecontr
act
.Iwilldoany
thi
ng.”Idon’tl
ikei
t
whencli
ent
sbeg.Iexhale.
Me: “f
inebutpleasekeepy ourwif
eonal eashorshe
willbebannedf r
om enteringmybui l
ding.
”The
waiterbri
ngsthef ood.“Fi
nally,
Iwasbeginningto
thi
nky oumisplacedourf oodory oudidn’
tputinthe
order.
”Isayinaf unnymannersot hathewon’ttake
offence.Hejustchuckles.
Wait
er:“pl
easedoenjoyy
ourfoodandift
her
ei s
any
thingelseyouwouldl
i
ke,Iam aty
ourser
vice.
”
Me:“whatifIwantyouonasi lv
erpl atter?
”hiseyes
popoutandIt akeasipofmycockt ai l
.Icanseet hat
Kuhleisal
soshocked.Iburstoutlaughi ng,goshy ou
shouldseetheirf
aces.“YohIam kidding.Wear e
okayfornow,youmayl eave.
”Hequi cklyrushesto
wherehecamef r
om leavi
ngmel aughi ngmyassout .
Kuhle:
“wow,j
ustwow.
”Ismi
rkathi
m andst
art
eat
ingmyfood.

Wet al
kaboutlessseri
ousthingswhileeating.Heis
averyfunnyguy.I’
dkeephim aroundasaf r i
endif
heweren’tmarri
ed.Phelamarri
edmenar en’t
supposedtohavesinglefemalefri
ends.Theyal ways
rai
sesuspici
onsandtheycanmaket hemarri
ed
womenpar anoi
d.ButI
’dal sohatef
ormyf ut
ure
husbandtobeclosefr
iendswi thasi
nglewoman.I
am onesoIknowwegett hi
rst
yandhungry
sometimes.Andthatt
hirstcanleadtobigmist
akes
thatmightbr
eakupmar riages.

Kuhl
e:“
sodoy
ouhav
esomeonei
nyourl
i
fe?
”
Me:“nah.ThisonetimeIwasquart
ert
oget
ti
ngmy
happyendingbutitall
wentpoof
.”
Hi
m:“
whathappened?
”
Me:“
arrangedmar r
iageshit
,theasshol
echose
i
nher
it
anceov erourlove.
”
Hi
m: “
wowIam sorr
yyoumetaspinel
essman.
”I
l
aughathi
m.“
Soy ouaresi
ngl
e?”
Me: “
notreal l
y.Iam marr
iedtomyj obandmy
company .Idedicatesomucht imeandeffor
tini
t
thatIhavenot i
met oworryaboutnotbei
ngina
rel
ati
onshi p.I
fIhaveanitch,Ifi
ndsomeonetotake
careofit
, anyone.I
fheisgoodf uckbuddymateri
alI
keephi
m ar
ound.I
fhecat
chesf
eel
i
ngsIcuthi
m
off
.”
Hi
m: “
wowIhav enevermetawomanli
key
ou.
I
ndependent
,ri
chanddoesn’
tgi
veadamnabout
r
ecei
vinglov
efrom aman.”
Me:“Idoreceiv
elovefr
om malef
iguresinmyli
fe.
Mydadandmybr other
sbutt
hat’
sjustit
.Your
gendercanbeassholesmostoft
het i
me, no
off
ence.”Helaughs.
Hi
m: “non-
taken.Ij
ustl
oveyourhonest
yandyouar
e
abreathoffreshai
r.Ij
ustwi
shwecandot hi
smore
of
ten.”
Me: “nocandoy ourhi
ghness.Wedon’twishthe
publictohavethewrongimpressi
onandy ourwi
fe
attackingme.Idokickasssoyouwi l
lbe
responsiblef
ornursi
ngherwounds.”Helaughsand
event hrowhisheadbackward.
Hi
m:“MaCel
ewehavetohangoutagai
n.Youar
e
f
unnyandf
untohangar
oundwit
h.”
Me:“
youknowwhat?Wecansetupadatewherewe
canj
ustchi
l
latmycri
b.Youcanbr
ingy
ourfr
iends
andIcanbringmi ne.That’sallIcanof f
er.
”He
fl
asheshismilli
ondollarsmi l
e.Guy sIswearthi
s
pri
nceisaladies’manandIam pr ett
ysurehe
knowshehasachar mi ngsmi l
e.Just1ni ght
,1night
bahl
ali
,that
’sallIaskforf r
om thel or
dbutIdon’tdo
marri
edmansohi slossf orthebestsexofhi senti
re
exi
stence.
Him:“that’
sfi
newithme.Ialsowanty outodesigna
housef orme.I
tisgoingtobemyescapehouse, an
enti
remancav e,asecrethouse.Itisgoi
ngt obe
buil
tonasecludedarea.Iwantitt ohavea
basementandal owerbasement .Itmustalsohav ea
saferoom orpani
croom aspeopl ecalli
t.
”Iraisemy
brows.
Me: “
areyousomeki
ndofagangst
erKuhl
e?”he
chuckles.
Him:“nobutIdolikesomeme-timeandIam a
fut
ureking,
Ihavegottohaveasecretplace.Wheni
t
comestoconst r
ucti
onIwil
lneedveryf
ewguy s
whom youtrustdearl
ywhowillbui
l
dit.
”
Me:
“youar
ereal
l
yagangst
er.Denyi
tal
lyouwant
.I
don’
tcarebecauseIam nocopbutwenauy
igi
nsa.
”
Helaughsandshrugs.

Wefini
shourdi
nnerandpartways.Iwasn’
treal
l
y
goi
ngtodropKuhl
e,Iknewhe’dbegbutIwanted
hi
mt okeephi
swifeonatightl
eash.
Iarr
iveathomeandgostrai
ghtt
omybedroom.I
undress,
wearmyshortsi
l
knightdr
essandgeti
nto
bed.Iswit
chofft
hesi
delampandstrai
ghtt
oLala
l
andIgo.

*
*NARRATED*
*
Kuhlearriv
edathi shousepi ssedashel l
.Luckil
yhis
kidswer ealr
eadysleeping.Hewentt ocheckon
them thenwentt othemai nbedr oom.Hiswi fewas
onSky pewi t
hhismot herinlaw.Shecont inued
speakinglikeherhusbanddi dn’tjustwal
kin.he
wenttot hebathroom, tookaqui ckshower ,
came
outanddr iedhimself,
wor ehisboxer sandjoinedhi
s
wifeinthebed.Bynowshewaschecki ngout
Inst
agram.Kuhl eclearedhisthroat.
Kuhl
e:“St
habi
l
ewhatwer
eyoudoi
ngatDubandl
ela
CCtoday?”
Sthah:“who?Me?Iwasnev
erther
e.Whosai
dIwas
there?
”shesaidav
oidi
ngeyecont
act
.
Kuhle:“
soy ou’
resayingMi
ssCeleisali
ar?You
didn’
tgot oheroff
iceanddemandthatshechanges
thesketchesofthehousesint
oyoursty
le?”
Sthah:
“sheisly
ingmylove.Whywoul
dIgot
her
e?”
shesaidfaki
ngasadtone.
Kuhle:“I
fyousaysot henokay.
”Heturnsandface
theotherway .“Wewil
ljustgotomorr
owandaskf or
theCCTVf ootaget
oseewhoi swrong.”Heswit
ches
offhissidelamp.Shepanics.
St
hah:
“fi
neIwentt
her
e.Iam sor
rymyl
ove.
”
Kuhle:
“whydoy ouli
kepoki
ngyourheadwhereit
doesn’
tf i
t?AyymanwhydoIhavetorecei
ve
complainsaboutmyspoi
ledwif
efrom t
imetotime?
Youaret i
ri
ngshame.Youareacompanyyourself
.”
St
hah:
“Iam sor
ryl
ove.
”
Kuhl
e:“
sav
eitf
orsomeonewhocar
es.
”Heswi
tches
of
fhi
ssi
del
ampandcl
oseshi
sey
es.

*
*BACKTOFUTHY*
*
Iwakeupt hef ollowingmor ni
ng, dot her egular
mor ni
nghy gienepr ocess.Idomymake- upandwear
my14i nchcur l
yhai r
.Iwearmybl acksl i
mf i
tpants,
nudel ongsl eev epepl um andbl ackpenci lheels.I
takemybl ackhandbagandheadout .Ifeelsogood,
l
ikeIjustgotoutf r
om aphot oshoot .Igetintomy
redAst onMar t
inDBXandheadt owor kwhi l
e
l
isteningtoYehl aMoy aRemi xbyDaCapo.Thi s
songmakesmewannaf astforwar dt oFr i
day.Iam
sogoi ngcl ubbingt hi
sFr i
dayandIam goi ngto
persuademyf r
iendst ogowi thme, notthatt hey
needanyper suasi onbecauset heyar ealwaysgame.
Igettowor k, parkmycari nmypar kingspor tand
l
ocki tafterget tingout .Igettot her ecept i
onand
Lindsayisener get i
casev er.

Me:“
wegoi
ngclubbi
ngFri
day
.”Thewayhescreams,
hei
sonamissi
ontokil
lmyeardr
ums.Ial
waysgo
withNoma, Lee,ZahandLindsaytocl
ubbing.They
areawhol evibenjeandwhatIli
keisthatwedrink
ourownmoney ,wearenotsti
ngywheni tcomesto
payingforourowndr i
nks.Wegettotheclub,buy
meat ,
buydr i
nksandturnupallni
ghtl
ong, i
t’
sgood
vi
besonl y.
Him:
“honeylemmestartbysay
ingyoul
ookhot
,
damngir
lthatass.
”HesaysandIdoa360.
Me:
“Isl
ayal
lday
.”Hehy
pesme.Il
ovet
hisguy
.
Hi
m:“
sowegoi
ngt
oCl
ubF?
”
Me:
“hel
lyeah.Letmegett
owor
k.Wewi
l
ltal
klat
er.
”
Hi
m:“
shobossl
ady
.”Iheadt
otheel
evat
orandgo
t
omyoff
ice.

Igett omydr awings.Ifi

nishtheNandamal lpr
oject
rooftopand3r dfl
oorthencont i
nuetheZuluhouses
project.Theclockstri
kes1pm andIt akemywal l
et
andphone.Igot otherestaurantwhichi
snextt oour
buildi
ng.Idon’thaveaspeci f
iclunchti
mef ormy sel
f.
Ijustdon’trushtolunchwhenIhav eunfi
nished
workunl essIam r eall
yhungr y.Isi
tonat abl
e, t
he
waitercomesandIor derdoubl echeeseburgerwith
fr
iesandcoke.Il etmyf r
iendsknowaboutFr idayon
ourgr oupchatandasIsai dt heyaregame.Ican’ t
wait,Iam seriouslylooki
ngf orwardtoclubbing.Hey
don’tlookatmel ikethat
,IknowIam nott heonly
onewhoj ustwishest ofast-
for wardtheweekt o
Fri
daysot hatIcangetdr unkandgetl ai
d.

Thewai t
ercomesbackwi t
hmyor derandIthank
him.Ist arteati
ngandi nthemiddleofmyl uncha
famoussoccerpl ayer,MveloMkhwanazi ent
ersthe
restaurantsandt hereiscommot i
on,peoplewanting
totakepi ctureswithhim andall
.Ij
ustrol
l myeyes
andcont i
nueeat i
ngmyl unch.OnceIam doneI
signalthewai terforthebil
l
,Ipayandgobackt o
wor k.Ifi
ndLi ndsayonmyf l
oorchatt
ingwithZah.

Me:
“yourcel
ebr
it
ycr
ushi
snextdoor
.”
Li
ndsay
:“whi
chone?
”
Me:
“Shamase.
”Theybot
hscr
eam.
Zah:
“Shamaseasi
nMv
eloMkhwanazi
?”
Me:
“yeaht
hatone.
”
Li
ndsay
:“di
dyougreethi
m?Takeapi
ctur
ewi
thhi
m?
Takehi
snumber?
”Istareathi
m.
Me:“real
lynow?Hei syourcel
ebr
it
ycrushnotmi
ne
soIdon’tgocrazywhenIseehim.Anywaysget
backtowor kmhlal
i
.”Isaythenpr
oceedtomyoffi
ce.
Zahfoll
owsme.
Zah:“
theNtul
ibr
other
sar
ecomi
ngi
nli
ke10
minut
es.”
Me:
“thei
rappoi
ntmenti
stoday
?”
Zah:
“yesgi
rl
.”
Me:
“ey
yfi
ne.I
stheboar
droom set
?”
Zah:
“ev
ery
thi
ngi
sonpoi
ntboss.
”
Me:“okay
,fet
chmewhent
heyar
eher
e.”Shenods
andheadout.

TheNtul
ibr
othersaremusi
cmoguls.Theyhavethe
bi
ggestr
ecordlabel
inMzansi
.Thenameoft he
recordlabelisBlueDi amondMusi c.Theyhav ea
verybigstudioinJHB.I tiseveryaspi ri
ngmusi cian’s
dream tosignwi ththem.Yandi saist heeldest
, heis
theCEOandaut omaticallytheheadoft hefami l
y
sincetheirparentsdied5y earsago.Hei smar ri
ed
andhaski ds.Sandilei sthemi ddlebr other
.Hei sa
producerandcanpl aymanyi nstrument s.Sakhileis
thelastborn.Heact sl i
keabr atsomet imes.Ithink
thefamei smessi ngwi t
hhi m becausehei sasi nger.
Ireall
ydon’tknowwhyt heywannameetwi thmebut
sengiyozwakhona.

Zahcomest ofetchmeandIf ol
lowhertothe
boardroom withmyi Pad.Attheboardroom doorI
fi
nd2bouncer s,Irollmyey esatZahandshej ust
shrugsandent erstheboardroom.Ifoll
owheri nsi
de
andf i
ndthebrothersalreadysit
ti
ng.Honestl
y
speakingtheseguy sarehotandt heyknowtheyar e.
Theirpresenceisfeltev
er y
wheretheyenter
.

Yandi
sa:
“Mi
ssCel
e.”Hesay
sreachi
ngoutf
ora
handshake.Ishakehi
shand.
Me:“youcancal
lmeFut
hy.
”Ial
soshaket
heot
her
br
others’
hands.
Sandi
le:“
Ihaveseenyousomewher
ebef
ore.
”He
sayssqui
nti
nghiseyes.
Sakhi
l
e:“
shei
sLel
e’
ssi
ster
.”
Sandi
le:
“owwshi
t,t
hatguyal
way st
alkabouty
ou.
You’
dswearyouar
ehiswifeorsomethi
ng.”We
l
augh.
Yandisa:“
sodoessi
ngi
ngr
uni
nthef
ami
l
y.”I
chuckle.
Me:
“Iguess.
”
Sakhi
l
e:“
howabouty
ousi
ngj
ustahookf
orus?
”
Me:
“nott
oday.
”Theylaugh.“
Any
wayslet
’sgetdown
t
obusi
ness.Whatbr
ingsyouguy
shere?”
Sakhil
e:“
dudeyouar el
i
kethebestinthegameand
youcomehighlyrecommended.Wewannabui l
da
studi
ohereinDurbanandalsodi
scovernewtal
ent
here.Wehavealr
eadyboughtasitei
nAshervi
ll
e.We
j
ustwantsomeonewhowi lldesi
gnandbuildi
tfor
us.
”
Me: “
sowhatdoy ouhavei
nmi nd?Youwanti ttobe
exactl
yliket
heonei nJHB?”mybr otheronceme
tookmet ot
hestudiowhenIvisi
tedhim soIknow
whatitlooksli
keandImustsaywhoev erbui
lti
tdi
d
anamazi ngjob.I
tisbeaut
if
ull
ybuilt
.Iam tempted
toaskwhobui lti
tbutnoIwon’t.
Yandisa:“wewantacompl etelydifferentone.Thi s
onemusthav eakasi vi
be.Nott oof ormal .Ther e
mustbeofcour seoffi
cesandst udios.Ther eal so
mustbeent ert
ainmentar eaandar est aur
ant .Ifyou
knowany onewhoownsar estaur anty oucanget
them tocomet ous.Theycanopent heirbranch
withi
nourstudio.Ofcour setheywi llrentandpay
thatcert
ainpercentageoft hei
rpr ofi
tbuti twi l
lbea
win-winsi
tuati
on.”Thiswi l
lbringinsomuchmoney
andIam sohappyi twi l
lbet aket i
met obuild.Iwi l
l
havetogot omyar chitectteam sot hatwecan
comeupwi t
htheper fectkasistudio.
Me:“sother
eal
somustbeast
udi
oforphot
o
shoots.
”
Sakhi
l
e:“
yeah.
”
Me: “
wheny ousayentertai
nmentar ea,what
enter
tainmentar
eyout alki
ngabout ?Wel ove
dif
fer
entkindsofenter
tainment.Iforone, Iam
thi
nkingofastri
pclubrightnow.”Ev er
yonel aughs,
evenZah.
Sakhi
l
e:“
damnIwasnev
err
eady
.”Hei
sst
il
l
l
aughi
ng.
Sandil
e:“basicallyaplayroom butnott ooplayful
.
Therecanbev ideogamest here,boardgames, anin-
housebar ,acinemar oom.Apl acewher eevery
one
wil
lbecomf ortablet
ochi l
linandr el
ax,daydream.”I
havenoticedt hatthi
sonedoesn’ tspeaktoomuch.
Hisvoiceissendi ngti
nglesal l
ov ermybody .Hehas
l
av oi
ceguy s,thev oi
cet hatgetsy ouwet.
Zah:“
ther
ecanal sobeasmallconcer
troom wher
e
youcanhavein-
houseconcer
tsfrom t
imetotimeas
afor
m ofentert
ainment
.”
Yandi
sa:
“that
’sagr
eati
dea.
”
Me:“
therecanal
sobeaquietr
oom wher
e
musi
cianscansi
tandwr
it
eorcomposeorwhat
ever
musici
ansdo.Li
keamusi
cal
li
brar
yift
her
eissucha
t
hing.”
Sandi
le:
“that’
sgreat.Sometimeswheny ouar
e
wri
ti
ngyouneedaqui etpl
ace.Idon’tknowwhywe
haveneverthoughtofthatbefor
e.”
Me: “yeahwheny ouwannaconcent rat
ey ouneeda
peacef ulplace.That
’swhyIhav ethisfl
oorallto
my sel
f .Idon’twantfootstepsrushingorringing
phonesorgi gglesdi
sturbi
ngmewhenIam
wor ki
ng. ”Theychuckle.Iam serious,myof f
iceand
Zah’sof ficearesoundproofed.“Sohowmanyf l
oor
s
arewel ookingat?”
Sakhi
l
e:“
may
besi
x.”
Sandi
l
e:“
yeahsi
xisokay
.”
Yandisa:
“Sowi
ll
youbeabl
etodoi
t?”heasks
l
ookingatme.
Me: “
y eah.YoucancomenextweekThur sday
aft
ernoont oseetheprogr
essonthesketchesand
3Dimagesofwhaty ouhavesai
dtoday.Youcan
makeal terati
onsanyt
imeyouwantbef
orewest ar
t
bui
lding.”Itakeoutmybusi
nesscar
dandhandi tto
Yandi
sa.“Youcancallmeify
oufeell
i
key
oul
eft
somethi
ngoutandy ou’
dli
ketoadd.
”
Yandi
sa:“wewil
lbei
ntouchFuthyandpl
easedon’
t
for
getaboutt
herest
aur
antidea.
”
Me:“okay
.Iguessthatwil
lbeall
.”Weall
standup
andshakehands.Theolderbr
other
sleave,
Sakhi
l
e
comesandstandsnexttome.
Sakhil
e:“
comelet’stakeaphot oandIwi l
lshowitt
o
LeleasaproofthatIsawy ouli
ve.”Il
aughathim.
Whyi shetr
eati
ngmel i
keacelebwher easheisthe
onewhoi sher
e?Nonet hel
essIposeashesnaps
pics.Whenheisdonehehugsmeandr unoutto
catchupwithhi
sbr others.
Zah:“
damnt hosebrother
sarehot.Mycli
tbe
thr
obbing.I
tistor
tur
et obei
noner oom wi
ththem.
Onenightwitheit
heroneoft
hem thenIam good.”I
l
aughatheraswegot omyof f
ice.
Me:“t
hethr
obbingcl
i
thel
pedt
houghbecausei
t
gav
ey ouanidea.
”
Zah:“
tsek.
”Iconti
nuelaughi
ngatherandshe
event
uall
yjoi
nsin.Isi
tdowninmychairandshesi
ts
i
nher
s.
Me: “
schedulet
hegeneralmeeti
ngto10am.Iwi l
l
needallhandsondeckfortheBlueDiamondMusic
proj
ect.Iknowtheyar
ebusywi t
htheNandamal l
proj
ectbutther
earenearl
ydonesot herewon’
tbea
probl
em. ”
Zah:
“howf
arar
eyouwi
tht
heZul
uhouses?
”
Me:“Iam cl
osetofini
shi
ngi t
.Istart
edwiththe
eMandlanzi
nihouse.Iam nearl
yfini
shed.Bytoni
ght
Iwil
lbefini
shedandthenstarttheNongoma
house.
”
Zah:
“sur
eboss.
”
Me:
“Ihav
eapr
ojectf
ory
ou.
”

Shef r
eezes.Zahisav er
ygr eatarchit
ect.Shehasa
degreeandshei sverygreatatwhatshedoes.I t’
s
j
ustthatshecamewhent herewasasur plusof
archi
tectsi
nmycompany .Ihi
redherasaPAbutI
dopayhert heful
larchit
ectsalarybecauseI
somet i
mesgi v
eherpr oj
ects.Sheal waysexcelsoI
l
ovegi
vingherproj
ect
s.Shei
sal
sov
eryr
esour
cef
ul
andor
ganized.

Zah:
“ohhokay
,Iam l
i
steni
ng.
”
Me:“Si
bisii
sr ebui
ldi
nghispubinUMl azi
.Hehas
demoli
shedt heexist
ingone.Hewant saCubana
i
nspi
redclub.Her earethenot
es.”Ihandhermy
not
es.“IexpectthesketchesTuesdaymor ni
ng.
”
Zah:“
sur
eboss.Iwon’
tdi
sappoi
nt.
”Inodandshe
exi
tsmyoff
ice.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER3

LastnightIfi
nishedtheeMandlanzi
ni houseand
star
tedwi t
htheNongomacast l
e.Somemaybe
amusedornotbel i
evemebutIam v er yfastandvery
passionateaboutmyj ob.WhenIstar tdrawingIgo
tomyownpl acewher ethepenci
l,
handandmi nd
becomeoneandIj ustgowi t
htheflow.Somet i
mesI
maynotpr oduceex actl
ywhattheclientspecifi
ed
butthecli
entalway senduphappywi ththeoutcome.

Thenextmor ni
ngIwakeupandt akeashower .I
l
otionmybody ,domymake- upandcombmy
naturalhai
rnicely,Ij
ustleti
tfr
eeanddown.Iget
dressed,col
lectmyt hingsandheadoutaf t
er
greeti
ngKgomot so.Iarri
veatworkandhead
strai
ghttothedesi gnersdepar
tment.Theseguys
areal waysearlyandIadmi rethem forthat.Igreet
them andhandt hem thefir
stZuluhousesket chand
tel
lthem Ineedi tbytomor row.Ithenheadt omy
fl
oor .Iseri
ouslyneedar ecepti
onistinthi
sf l
oorwho
willassistZahi nherjobbecausei tistoomuchf or
her.Shemaynotsayi tbutIcanseet hatitistoo
much.Ipeepi ntoherof fi
ceandsi gnalthatshe
foll
owsmet omyof fi
ceandshedoes.Webot hget
seatedaf tergreetingeachot her
.

Me:“Ist
artedatt
hedesigner
s’depar
tmentbef
ore
comingheresoyoudon’thavetoworr
yaboutthat
.I
haveanothert
askfory
ou.”
Zah:
“Iam l
i
steni
ng.
”
Me:“Ineedarecept i
onistf
ort hi
sfloor,
youguy swil
l
workclosel
ytogether.GetMuhl uri
(whoi smy
employeeandalsoani nter
iordesigner)tosetup
hi
s/herdesk.Nothingoutoft heordinary.Itshoul
d
besmal l
ert
hantheonei nthemai nlobby .
”
Zah:
“not
ed.
”
Me:
“andal
socont
actt
heDi
bber
sAgency
.Ineed2
body
guar
ds,
amal
eandaf
emal
e,andadr
iver
.”
Zah:
“fi
nal
l
yboss.Whatchangedy
ourmi
nd?
”
Me: “
itwasaboutti
mebakithiZanel
eandwi
thme
onthev er
geofexpandingDCCweneedsecuri
ty
becauserival
ri
eswi
llnotbehappy.”
Zah:“
Iwil
lgetr
ighti
nitboss.Iwi
llconduct
i
nter
viewsonMondayandt heywil
lber eadytoser
ve
youonTuesday,Wednesdaymorni
ngl atest
.”
Me: “y
oureallyneedsomeonewhoy ouwil
lshare
responsi
bil
it
ieswi t
hbecauseIdon’
twantyou
overworki
ngy oursel
f.Youal
soneed‘meti
me’.”
Zah:“
okay
.Iwil
lst
artl
ooki
ngfort
herecept
ioni
st
aft
erMuhl
uri
isdonewitht
hedesk.
”
Sheupdatesmeaboutot herstuffandthenshegoes
backtoheroffi
ce.Icall
Lindsayandaskhi mt oor der
breakf
astformeatt herestaurantnextdoor.They
deli
veri
tinmyof f
iceandIst artmunching.After
eati
ngIlazyar
oundi nmyof f
ice.Ideci
detocal l
mom andcheckuponher .I
tringsandsheanswer s
i
t.
Mom: “
Lwandl
elet
hu.
”Shealwayscal
l
smebymy
middl
ename.Sheonlycal
lsmebymyf i
rstname
whenshereal
l
yisangryatme.
Me:
“mawami
howar
eyou?
”
Mom:“Iam fi
nemyangel
.Whenar
eyougoi
ngt
o
comeandvisi
tme?”
Me:“
howaboutIt
akey
ououtf
orl
uncht
oday
?What
t
imeisy
ourl
unchti
me?”
Mom:
“1pm baby
.”
Me:
“okayIwi
l
lseey
out
henmama.
”
Mom:
“seey
ousoon.By
e.”Shehangsup.

Thetimef ort heGener al Thur

sdayMeeting(GTM)
comes, ZahandIheadt ot he1stfl
oorwhichhasa
boardroom bi genought oaccommodat e80%ofmy
employ ees.Wear riv
et her eandfi
ndeveryoneseat
ed.
Itakemysi tandthemeet i
ngcommences.Each
department sgivetheirrepor t
sandhowf artheyar
e
withthepr oject
s.Aftert herearedoneIi
ntroducet
he
newpr oject,theBlueDi amondMusi cproject
.
Me: “Iwanty ouguy st obei nteamsof3. ”Isay
referringt othear chi tects.“ Iwanty ouguy stot ake
differentpar tsoft hest udiot hatIhav ement ioned.I
wantt hesket chesandt he3Dpi cturesr eadyby
Wednesdayaf t
er noon. ”Isitdown.“ Iam happyt hat
thesket chesoft heNandamal lar
ef inished.The
wayy ouguy saregoi ngIam v eryproudofy ouand
cont inuewi ththegoodj ob.Pl easedomakesur ewe
meett hedeadl inesf ort hecur rentpr ojects.Wehav e
somanycl i
entswhowantt owor kwi thus.About20
cli
ent sar est i
l
lont hewai tinglistforappoi nt
ment s,
fort hewhol ething; desi gning, bui
ldingand
furnishing; sowedon’ thav emucht imer eall
y.Iwish
thatwecanbedonewi thhal fofthesepr ojects.We
aregoodatwhatwedot hat’swhywear ehi ghin
demand.Zahpl easedosetupameet ingwi t
ht he
owneroft hemal lsot hathecanv i
ewt hesket ches
andt ell
uswhenwecanst ar tbuil
ding. ”Shenods.

Zah: “
abri
dgecol
l
apsedjustout
sidePMB.The
may orofPMBhasappr
oachedust oredesi
gnand
rebuil
dit
.”
Muhl
uri
:“t
hat
’shuge.
”
Lonwabo:
“yeahandi
twi
l
lbr
ingi
nal
otofmool
a.”
Clar
a( I
nteri
ordesignerHOD) :“
andwearehopingfor
bonusesatt heendoft hey ear.
”Theyal
lgiggl
eand
nodinagr eement.Idon’tgiveoutfi
xbonusesatthe
endofthey ear.I
tisdetermi nedbytheprof
it
generat
eddur i
ngt heyear,sohugepr of
it
s,huge
bonuses.
Me:“wewill
seeguy s.Bob(archi
tect)Ineedyouto
desi
gnthebridgeandy oucanshowmet he
sket
chesassoonasy ou’
redoneorany timereal
l
y.”
Henods.“Okaymeet i
ngadjourned.”Istandupand
headtomyof fi
ce.

Itakemyphone, carkeysandhandbag, andIgot o

theparkinglot.Igetinmycaranddr iv
et oBal
lit
oto
therestaurantIam hav i
nglunchatwithmymot her.I
fi
ndheral r
eadywai t
ingforme.Mom isav ery
punctualperson.Shest andsupandhugsme, Ihug
herbackandwesi tdown.Thewaitercomesand
takeourorder sandl eav
e.
Mom:“
howhav
eyoubeen?Youhar
dlycomesee
us.
”
Me:“yohmom.Myj obissodemandi
ng.Ihaveso
manyclientsf
rom all
overt
hecountr
y.Iam r
eal
ly
consi
deringbr
anchingtoJHBandCapeTownnext
year
.”
Mom: “Ithinky oushoul dsetoutat i
mef r
amef or
yourself.Don’ tjustsayyouwannabr anchout.Do
researchont heseci ti
esandf i
ndgoodsi tesand
buil
dingsf ory ourcompany .It
hi nkyoualsoneedan
assistantout sidewor kwhowoul dhelpyouorganize
yourlife.Youhar dlyhaveti
mef oryourself,
you’
d
sweary ouarest i
llst
arti
ngupt hiscompany .
”Ikeep
quiet.Thewai tercomesbackwi thourfoodandwe
starteat i
ng.
Me:“you’
r eri
ght.Sowher
ecanIgetthispersonal
assi
stantma?Iwantsomeonewhoi svery
tr
ustworthy.Whowi l
lbemyconf
idanteandImay
havetoli
v ewithher.
”
Mom: “
Idohavesomeoneinmind.Nomxol
isi
.That
gi
rli
sveryhumbl
eandveryor
ganized.
”Nomxoli
sii
s
thei
r3rdhousekeeper
.Theyhaveav
erybi
gmansi
on
sotheyhave4housekeepers.
Me:“okay.Bri
ngheroverSundaynoon.Thanksmom
f
orthissuggesti
on.Iwasneverawarethatmywork
i
sconsumi ngmet hi
smuch.Any wayshow’sdad?
”
Mom: “heisfine.Hewentt oPr et
oriaforsome
off
ici
albusiness.Hisbusinesst r
ipscanbet ir
ing
sometimes.Imi sshim andIcanbesohor nyat
ti
mesy ohmt anam.”Sij
abulileissounf i
lt
eredbahlal
i
.
Atsomepoi ntthewayshel ovessexIt houghtshe
wouldcheatondadbi tshehaspr ovenmewr ong.
Me:“y
ouareluckyyouhaveahusband.Idon’
tknow
whenwasthelastt
imeIgotlai
d.Iam pret
tysur
eI
am avi
rgi
nnow.”Webot hl
augh.
Mom: “
thereisnoneedtocommi ti
fyou’r
enotready
mtanam,justfi
ndsomeonewhoi sgoingtohel
py ou
wit
hthefrustr
ati
on.Sal
tisnotgoodforyoubaby.
”I
l
aughveryhard.Shealwaystel
li
tli
keiti
s.Wefini
sh
ourl
unchandwegooursepar at
eway s.

Idr
ivet
oGat
eway
,Ihav
ebeenwant
ingt
odo
shoppingbutIhav ebeenpostponi
ngitbecauseof
work.Inowhav espar et
ime.Istar
tatFoschiniand
takeformalclot
hes.IheadtoCot t
onOnf orcasual
clot
hes.IgotoAl dofor2pairsofheel
sand2pai r
s
ofsandalsshoesandTot al
sportsfor2pair
sof
sneakers.IgotoTr uwor
thsforMacmake- upand
cosmet i
cs.

AfterIam doneIgopackt hebagsi nmycarandgo

toGalit
o’swi t
hmyphone, carkey sandbankcar d.I
t
i
sal r
eadyl at
eafternoon.Iorder,payt hengoandsi t
downwai t
ingformyor der.Icall
Si bul
el eandwet al
k
l
ikealway s.Hetell
smehewi l
lbev isi
tingmemont h
endandhehasal i
ne-upofgi gsthisside.While
tal
kingt oLel
e,Shamasesi tsont heempt ychairon
myt able.OKAY.Isaymygoodby est omybr other
thenhangup.

Me:“Iam pr
ett
ysur
ether
eareemptyt
abl
esar
ound
her
e.Youcouldhav
esatany
where.
”
Shamase:
“butIchoset
osi
twi
thy
ou.Ihopey
ouar
e
her
eal
one.
”
Me:
“andwhatar
eyouexact
lyhopi
ngf
or?
”
Shamase:“
thatIgetachancetoknowthisbeauti
ful
womaninfrontofmewi t
houtanyint
err
upti
ons.”
Fl
att
erywon’tgetyouanywher
eMr .
Me:“soMv el
owhatwoul
dyouli
ketoknowabout
me?”thi
sidiotgr
insl
i
keaki
dseeingi
cecr
eam.And
t
hen?“What ?”
Shamase: “
youarethef i
rstpersonoutsidemyf amil
y
tocal l
meMv eloandthewayy ousayitntokaziyoh.
”
what everdude.Iam tempt edtoroll
myey esbutI
don’twannaseem r ude.“Any wayswhati sthename
ofthebeaut i
fulwomani nf rontofme?”the
waitressesbringourfoodt oourtableandl eav
e
aft
eratst arr
ingatMv el
ol ongerthanusual .
Me:“
Ntombi
fut
hiCel
e.”West
arti
ndul
gingonour
f
ood.
Shamase: “
MaNdosi.”Ibl
ush,
guysever
ytimea
personsaysmyclannamesImel tf
rom t
heinsi
de.
“I
nkosazaneibhi
zinganiempi
lweni
?”
Me:
“I’
m anar
chi
tect
.”
Him: “wowokay .Idon’tseearingonyourfi
ngersoI
wil
ljustgoaheadandassumet hatyouar
esingle.
Nami kentokazi kadengisandakugi
lwa
obeyingodusoy ami.Ungibonanjebesengi
phonse
i
thawul aothandweni kodwaukubonawena
kungibuyi
seleithemba.”
Me:
“Iam f
latter
ed,
real
l
y,butr
elat
ionshi
psar
enot
r
eal
l
ymyt hing.”
Hi
m:“
what
’sy
ourt
hingt
hen?
”
Me:“besi
desthefactthatl
oveneverl
ovedmeIam a
workahol
icandmyj obismylif
e.Gett
ingi
ntoa
r
elati
onshi
pwill
makemel osefocusonmylegacy
.”
Hi
m: “tal
kingaboutl
egacy,
themoneythatyouar
e
worki
ngf or,
whowi l
li
nheri
titi
fyoudon’
thavef
or
r
elati
onship?Youwilldi
ewit
hnokids?”
Me:“whenIf
eel
li
keit
’st
imeformet
ohav
eaki
dI
wi
ll
adoptorgotoasper
m bank.
”
Him: “
y ourki
dwi
llgr
owupwithonewor
kahol
ic
parent.Howsureareyout
hathe/
shewi
llr
ecei
ve
enoughlovefr
om y ou?”Ikeepquietf
ini
shingmy
food.“
Ithi
nkeverybodyneedsl oveMagay e.You
mayhav ebeenbetrayedbyamanbef orebutthat
doesn’
tmeangi v
eupony ourhappi
ness.”
Me:“
may beint
hefutur
eImightconsi
dergett
ing
i
ntoarel
ati
onshi
pbutnowIam fineasasingl
e
woman.Akucosuki
ndawo.
”
Hi
m:“maybewecanbef
ri
endswhoar
esi
ngl
e
t
oget
her
.”
Me: “
beingfri
endswi thacelebr
it
ywil
lgivepeople
thewrongi mpression.Ili
veaver
ypri
vateli
fe.Idon’
t
wantmyaf f
air
st obeknownbyt hepubli
cexceptfor
mywor k.”Ifi
nisheatingandwipemyhandswi ththe
servi
ett
es.Istandupt aki
ngmyphone,cardandcar
keys.Healsost andsup.
Him:“canIatl eastaccompanyy outot heparking
l
ot?”Ishr ugandheadout ,
hef oll
owsme.Wegett o
theparkinglot.TodayIam dr i
vingthebr onzeBMW
X1.Il
ov edt hiscarwhenIf i
rstsawi tonTVandas
soonasi tar r
ivedatSMGmom wasl i
ke‘honeyy our
carhasar ri
ved’ andIwentandpur chasedi t.“
Nice
wheels.”Ismi
l
e.“
CanIatleastgetahug?”hesay s
openinghisar
ms.Ihughi
m andGodhi scologne.I
breakthehugandgeti
nthecar.Iopenthewindow.
Me:
“thanksMv
eloandi
twasni
cedi
ningwi
thy
ou.
”
Hi
m: “
eventhoughyoureject
edme.”Hesayspl
aci
ng
hi
shandinhischestf
akingahurtexpr
essi
on.I
l
aughathi
m.
Me:“bet
terl
ucknextt
ime.
”Ist
artt
hecar
,dr
iveout
andhootathi
m.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER4

Toni ghtwegoi ngclubbi

ng,Dj Zi
nhle-umlil
oasmy
moodst art
er.Iam superexcited,i
thasbeenages
sinceIwentoutwi t
hmyf r
iends.Mywor khasmeby
thewashi ngssomucht hatIsomet i
mesdon’ thave
ti
mef ormy sel
f.If
inishputti
ngonmymake- up.I
wearakneel engthdenim short,whit
eloosevest,
peachcoatandpeachsneaker s.Icombmyhai rand
ti
ei tint
oaneatbun.

Itakemyhandbagwhi chcontai
nofev ery
thi
ngIwill
needandheadt othekit
chen.Iputmyhandbagi n
thecounter.Iopenthefri
dge,pourwineinaglass
anddrinkitandassoonasIwashi tthebuzzerri
ngs.
Theyareher e.Ibuzzt
hem in.Itakemycarkeys,
handbag,housekey sandheadout .Ifi
ndthem i
nthe
dri
vewaynearmywhit
eFort
unerwhi
chweusually
goclubbi
ngwit
h.I
ntotal
Ihave6car
s,4SUV’sand2
sport
scarswhi
chist
heLamborghi
niAvet
andorand
aBugatti
.Weshar
ehugs.

Me:
“mot
her
fucker
s!”
Noma: “wehereandwewannat urnup!
”IseeNoma
broughtherdri
ver.Ihandhim mycarkeys.“
Canwe
fi
rstl
ytakepict
ures?”Ihandthedri
vermyphoneand
hetaketonsofpictures.Wedocrazyposesand
evendance.Wef inal
lyfi
nishandweallgeti
ntothe
carandIsitatthefront.
Li
ndsay:“Imustsayy ’al
lbitcheslooksuperfl
y.”I
connectmyphonewi ththecarv iaBluet
oothand
playVul
aVal abyNokwazi andt heScorpi
onkings.
Theladi
esscr eam andmakev ideos.Bytheti
mewe
arri
veatClubFi t
’salr
eady10pm.Abouncerescor t
s
ustoourtableintheVI Psect i
on.Wegetset t
ledand
summonawai t
er.
Noma:
“canwepl
easest
artwi
thshot
s?”
Lee:
“yesgi
rl
.Wai
terpl
easebr
ingus10t
equi
l
a
shots.
”Thewait
erdi
sappearsandcomebackwit
h
theshots.Wedr
inkt
hem all
atonce.Yeymood
star
ter
.
Wai
ter
:“whatwoul
dyoul
adi
esl
i
ket
oor
der
?”
Me:“cel
ainyamakaR300Ipor
k,wor
sli
kaR150
nepapadali
.”
Zah:“fordr
inkscanwepl easehav eabott
leof
Tanqueray,el
eBelveder
e, 24-packofFl
yi
ngFish
pressedlemonand22l ofcr anberr
yjui
ce.
”
Wait
er:
“comi
ngr
ightup.
”hedi
sappear
sagai
n.Il
ook
ar
ound.
Me:“l
emmesearchformynextvi
cti
m.”Thel
adi
es
l
augh.“Who’
sontheli
ne-
uptoday
?”
Li
ndsay:“
ShoMadjoz
i,DjHall
eluj
ah,
DjGukwa,
Ddn
Gogo,NaaqMusi
candothers.
”
Lee:
“well
Iwouldn’
tmindgr
indingonNaaq’aabs.
”
shebit
esherl
owerli
p.Weal l
scream andhypeher
.

Thewait
ercomesbackwi
thourdr
inksandwest
art
wit
hthecider
s.Dj
Gukwastar
tspl
ayi
ngandwe
standupanddance.Whi l
ewedanci ngIfeelhands
onmywai st,
stronghandsforthatmatter
.Iturnto
stareatt
hismanwhohast henerveandy ouwon’t
beli
evewhoitis.

“
MaNdosi
”hef
lasheshi
ssmi
l
eandIj
ustgi
ggl
e.
Me:“Mvel
owhatacoinci
dence.”Wet
alkaswear
e
danci
ngcl
osel
ytoeachother.
Him:“
Iam sogladIcoul
dmeetyouagai
n.”It
urn
andf
indal
l t
hesebit
chessi
tt
ingdownandthei
reyes
gl
uedtomeandMv el
o.
Me:
“whodi
dyoucomewi
th?
”
Hi
m:“
3ofmycol
l
eaguesandachi
l
dhoodf
ri
end.
”
Me: “
whydon’ tyoujoi
nusinourt abl
e? ”Ipoi
ntatour
tabl
e.Heagr eesandgoest ohisgents.Hecomes
backandt heyjoi
ntheirt
ableswithours.Mv el
o
i
ntroduceshisfri
endsasAndi l
e,Cebo, Nzuzoand
Khaya.Ial
soi ntr
oducemyf ri
ends.Nzuzol ooksso
famil
iar
,IswearIhav eseenhim before.
Li
ndsay
:“bossl
adyusi
fakeezi
ntweni
today
.We
dr
inki
ngwi
thcel
ebs.
”Weal
ll
augh.
Andi
le:
“whatdoy ouownbossl
ady
?”heaskswi
tha
char
mingsmile.
Nzuzo:
“Dubandl
elaCC.Iwasoneofy
ourcl
i
ent
s3
year
sback.
”
Me:
“ngi
shoy
ourf
acel
ooksf
ami
l
iar
.”
Shamase:“
youownDCC?
”heaskswi
thashocked
expr
essi
on.
Me:
“gui
l
tyaschar
ged.
”Isayandshr
ug.

Ourmeatar ri
v esj ustast heir
sarriv
eal so.Weal l
dig
i
n.oneoft het hingsIdi gaboutCl ubFi stheirwell
cookedmeatandsecr etspices.Afterwedone
eati
ngwecont inuedr inking.Wer etur
nt othedance
fl
oorandMv eloi ssocl oset omeIkeepgr indi
ngon
hi
scr otch,Ifeel itpokingmybut t.Heexcuses
hi
msel fandr et urnst ohisseat .I
’
m outbyCi ar
aand
NickiMi najplay sandIr emov emycoat .Ilovethi
s
song.Ist ar
tt wer kingnotnot ici
ngthatIam l ef
t
al
onei nt heVI Pdancef loor.Bythet i
met hesong
endsmostpeopl
ehav
eci
rcl
edmeandar
etaki
ng
vi
deos.

MC:“SHOUTOUTTOFUTHYOFDCCI NTHEVIP
DANCEFLOOR!!
”thecr
owdscreams.OMG.Ir
ushto
mytabl
eandquickl
ysi
tdown.Iopenanewci
der
anddownitononego.
Me:
“whatt
hef
uckj
usthappened?
”
Noma:
“damngi
rlIl
astsawt
hosemov
esi
nvar
sit
y.”
Lee:
“Ci
arapr
ovokedher
.”wel
augh.
Li
ndsay
:“babessomepeopl
ewer
etaki
ngl
i
vev
ideos
soyouaretr
endi
ng.”
Me:
“Iam pr
ett
ysur
eitwi
l
ldi
edowni
nanhour
.”
Shamase:“yousuredoknowhowt omov eyour
waistandass.Isal
utey ou.
”Il
aughathis
ambiguousstatement.Iknowhisst
atementistwo
si
ded.

Theni
ghtcont
inueswi
thoutanydr
amat
icv
ideo
taking.Thecl ockstri
kes2am andMv elosuggests
thatwet aket hepartytohi shouse,weal lagr
ee.We
buya48- packoff l
yi
ngf ishandheadt oMv el
o’scri
b.
Wear ri
vedathi shousewhi chi
sinGl enwood.Itisa
beaut i
ful glassmansi on.Wegeti nsideandhe
usher sust othelongue.Wegett hereandputour
drinksint hecof feetable,theguysputsomeoft he
drinksint hef ri
dge.Theyputont hemusi candwe
chill
.Wedr inkandt alkli
keol dfr
iends,the
conv ersationi sfl
owingt herearenoawkwar d
moment s.

Andil
e:“soFut
hyhowdoesi
tfeel
toownsucha
successful
company
?”
Me: “
itf
eelsgoodbecauseIst ar
tedi tfrom scrat
ch.I
didhaveabouthalftheamountf orthecapi tal
which
weremysav ings.Theotherhalf
,well Iaskedfor
fundi
ngfrom bigcompaniesandt heywer emor e
thanhappytodonat e.
”
Nzuzo:“you’
rel
ucky.Manypeopl
eappl
yforf
undi
ng
buttheygetrej
ect
edmostoftheti
me.”
Me:“theproblem i
stheyrushsuccess.Theywant
ever
ythi
ngt obechop-chop.Whenst art
inga
busi
nessandl ooki
ngf orfundingpeoplemust
remembert hatpat
ienceisav i
rt
ue.I
tmaynot
happentodaybutthatdoesn’ tmeani twon’thappen
atal
l.AndnoIam notl uckybutIam bl essed.”
Li
ndsay
:“y
esNi
cki
!”t
hegi
rl
shy
peandwel
augh.
Zah:
“soyouguyshowdoesi
tfeel
tohav
eyourl
i
fe
i
nthespotl
i
ght?
”
Cebo: “
itsucksreall
ybecausey oucan’tev enmov e
freel
y.Youcan’ttakeav acati
onwi thyourmai nor
sidedishbecauset herewil
lbepicturesofy outhe
nextmor ni
nginev erynewspaperandev erysocial
media.Somepeopl eonthenetar ealway slooki
ng
forstori
essosomet i
mest heyseeuswi t
hgi r
lsand
theycomeupwi thaf al
seconclusion.”
Me:“that
’showmybr otheral
waysf
eell
ikemostof
thet
ime.Heev endoesn’tsl
eepi
nhotel
sbecause
hisf
ansar eev
erywhere.
”
Khay
a:“
whoi
syourbr
other
?”
Me:
“Lel
e.”
Khay
a:“t
hatguyi
ssocool
andsor
eal
.Il
ovehi
s
musi
c.”
Me:
“Iwi
l
ltel
lhi
myousai
dthat
.”
Lee:
“hewasoncemycr
ush.
”
Noma: “andrememberhowyou’
dembarrass
your
selfwheneverhecomestoourapar
tment,not
f
orgett
ingthatyou’
rewayol
dert
hanhim.”welaugh.
Lee:
“yoh,
I’
dhavepani
catt
acksandcol
l
apseev
ery
ti
mehesaidsomethi
ngtome.”
Zah:
“youhadi
tbadgi
rl
.”
Me:
“awunapi
ctur
e.”

Ifeelmy sel
fgett
ingwast ed.Iaskforabat hroom
andMv el
opullmet oonei nthesecondf loor.He
actuall
ypull
smet othemai nbedroom en- suit
e.
AfterIam donedoi ngmybusi nessIreturnt othe
bedroom andf i
ndhi m shi
rtl
ess.I
fhei stryingto
seducemet heniti
swor kingbecausedamnhi s
muscl esdearGod.Iwal kupt ohim andwr apmy
armsar oundhisneck.Ist andonmyt oesandki ss
him,her espondstotheki
sspull
i
ngmebymywai st
withhisstrongarms.Onethingl
eadst
otheother
andbef oreIknowitwearedonewitht
hesecond
round.Hei mmediatel
ypassesout.
Iuset histi
met oescape.Inev ershar eabedwi t
h
oneni ghtstandsandIam notgoi ngt ostartt
oday .I
getdressedqui etl
yandheadout .Ifindmybi tches
downst air
s.Weswor et hatwenev ersleepata
man’shouseaf terdr
inkingt
her e.Theyst andup
whent heyseemeandwequi etlyexitthehouse
giggl
ingl i
ghtl
y.Wegeti ntothecaranddr iveoutof
theyar d.

Lee:
“soDubandl
elast
ruckagai
n?”
Me:“
kanti
whoam Ihhe?Ngi
thi
whoam i
?”weal
l
l
aughoutl
oud.
Noma:
“youar
ethedogofdogs.
”
Li
ndsay
:“sohowwashe?
”
Me:
“bet
tert
hanexpect
ed.
”
Li
ndsay
:“howbi
gwashe?
”
GI
RLS:
“HHALI
NDSAY!
”theyexcl
aim.Heshr
ugs.
Li
ndsay
:“what
?Iwannaknow.
”
Me: “
honeyt hat’
sformet oknowandf oryouto
neverfi
ndout .”Therulei
sthatwedon’tshareadick,
unl
esst hatguyisseriousaboutyouandyouar e
al
soser i
ousabouthi m whichhasneverhappened.
Thedriverdropsallofusatourhomes.Igett omy
bathr
oom, takeawar m shower,drymysel
fandget
underthecov ersnaked.
.
.
.

#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER5

Myphoner ings,
wakingmeupf r
om mydeep
sl
umber .It
akeitundermypil
l
ow, answeri
tand
pl
acesitonmyear .Idonotevenchecktoseewho
i
scall
ing.
Me:
“mmm.
”
Lel
e: “
what ?You’r
estillsl
eeping?Hav ey ouseen
yourvideo?Youar etrendingsisi.Over1mi ll
i
on
vi
ewer sonYouTube.Thet wit
terisbuzzing.Peopl
e
onInstagram aresharingit,myf ansaregoingcrazy
aboutmydanci ngsister.”Isitupandy awn
str
etchingmyar ms.Sbu’ sv oi
cei ssohighsoi t
wakesy ouupi t
self.
Me:
“Sbuwai
t.Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?”
Lel
e:“
yourv
ideot
wer
kingl
astni
ghtatCl
ubF.peopl
e
l
oveyou.Iam eventhi
nki
ngoff
eat
uri
ngy
ouonmy
nextmusi
cvideo.”
Me:
“di
dyousay1mi
l
li
onv
iewer
s?”
Lel
e:“yeah.Mypubl
ici
stpostedi
tonmyYouTube
channelsomostofmyf anssawitt
her
eandstar
ted
tweeti
ngandshari
ngit.
”
Me: “OMG.Thisisgoingtoattr
actunnecessary
spotli
ght.Iwasjusthavi
ngfun.Ionl
yreali
zedt hatI
wasbei ngrecor
dedwhenIwasdonedanci ng.
Pleasecontrolt
hisshit
.Idon’
tneedanycr azy
publi
city.
”
Lel
e:“
okayIwi
l
ltr
y.Seey
oui
naweek.
”
Me:
“by
ebr
o.Il
ovey
ou.
”
Lel
e:“
Ilov
eyout
oo.
”Hehangsup.

Istandupandheadt ot
hebathr
oom.Iwashmyf ace,
brushmyt eet
handtakeawarm shower .Aft
erthatI
wrapmybodyi natowelandgobackt omybedr oom.
Isitonthebedandtakemyphone.Igot hroughal l
mysocialmediaaccount
sandit’
strue,Iam trending.
GodIpr aythisvideodoesn’treachmypar ent
s.I
standandmakemybed.Il otionmybody ,wearmy
yell
owshor tdressandheadt ot hekit
chen.Ifi
nd
Kgomot sopr epari
nglunch,Igreetherandthensi
t
ont hebarstool.

Me:“Kpleasepr
epareontheguestbedroom.Wewil
l
behavi
nganotherpersonwhowil
lbeliv
ingher
eful
l
ti
me.Sheiscomingtomorroweveni
ng.”
Her
:“whati
sherj
ob?
”
Me:“sheismysecondassi
stant.Mom sai
dIneed
hert
oor gani
zemydaytodaylif
eoutsi
dework.”
Her
:“downst
air
sorupst
air
s?”
Me: “
downstairs.”Shehandsmet hefoodandIst ar
t
eati
ng.ThefrontdooropensandLeeget sin
fol
lowedbyNoma.Theybot hhavesparekeystomy
houseandIal sohav ekeystothei
rs.Theyare
wearingshor
ts, croptops,
bighatsandsunglasses.
“I
fIdidn’
tknowbet t
erI’
dsayyouar egoingtothe
beach.”
Lee:“wel
lthesunisout
,thewindi
sfl
owi
ng.I
tisa
greatdayt
ov i
sitt
hebeach.”
Me: “
Kpleasepackevery
thingthatIwi
l
lneedatthe
beach.Pl
acemyor angebiki
niontopofthebed.
”
Kgomot
so:
“okay
.”
Noma: “andyouwill
bej oi
ningus.YouknowIdon’
t
takenof orananswer.
”Shegi ggl
esandhead
upstai
rs.Thesetwohelpthemselveswit
hthefood
onthet abl
e.Kgomotsoalway smakesextr
afood
j
ustincaseIdon’tgetfull
.
Lee:“l
et’
sgowi
ththeAmar
oktodaysothatwecan
packthecampchair
sni
cel
yandalsot
heboozeand
thefood.
”
Me:
“Iam notdr
ivi
ng.
”
Noma:“fi
neIwi
l
ldr
iveandIi
nvi
tedbhutbaet
oour
out
ing.
”
Me:
“wear
efi
nal
l
ymeet
inghi
m?”
Noma:
“yes”
Lee:“
can’
twai
t.Ij
usthopetherewil
lbehunksatthe
beachumunt
uangazit
holiesebambeikhandl
ela.
”
Wel augh.WeknowhowNomaget sphambi
kwendoda.Uyikonoshel
aakubukisengabantu.I
fi
nisheati
ngthenheadupstair
s.Iputmybi kini
on
andputont hedressIwaswear i
ngagain.Itakemy
phone,wall
etandcarkeysandgobackdownst ai
rs.
Nomai sbusytappingherphonewithaf r
ownonher
face.

Me:
“what
’sup?
”
Noma: “pi
cturesofyouandShamasedanci ngand
si
tti
nglookingcozyar eci
rcul
ati
ngonsocialmedia.
Hisbit
chesar eshadi
ngy ouandsomeofhi sfans
areexci
tedt hathei
sdat i
nganindependent
busi
nesswoman.Somear ecall
ingyouacougar.
”
WellMvelois27y ears,so2yearsdi
ffer
ence.
Me:“f
uckt hi
sistheshitIwasrunni
ngawayf r
om.I
t
oldhim andKuhlethatIdon’
twannaassociate
mysel
fwi t
hcelebri
ti
esbecausetheyat
tractdr
ama.
”
Lee:“
whoi sKuhl
e?”f
uckIdon’
tremembert
ell
i
ng
them aboutK.
Me:
“pr
inceKuhl
e.Hei
sacl
i
entandhewant
edust
o
hangoutbecauseIam f
un.
”
Lee:
“justgetLel
e’
spubl
i
cistt
ocont
rol
thi
s.”
Me: “
thethingi
sMv el
oi si
nter
est
edinmesoImight
dismisstheseal
legat
ionsofusdati
ngandhemi
ght
sayanotherthi
ng.”
Noma:
“weneedtogett
ohispl
ace.Iam pr
ett
ysur
e
hei
sst
il
lnur
singhi
shangov
er.
”
Me:“
yeahl
et’
sgo.ComeKgomotsowewil
lst
artat
Gl
enwoodt
henwewi l
lgot
othebeach.
”

Weal lgeti
nt hecarandIdr i
veout.Wear r
iveat
Mv el
o’shouse,thegateisopenedandt herearecar
s
parki
ngoutside.Isthi
sdudehav ingaparty?Weget
outofthecarandgeti nsidethehousebecausethe
dooriswideopen.OMGsomanymal especiesin
oneplace.Mostoft hem arehisteam mates,t
here
arealsogir
lswhi chIsuspectarethegi
rlf
ri
endsor
wives.West andatthedoorawkwar dly
.

Me:
“goodaf
ter
noonev
ery
one.
”Theyal
ltur
nthei
r
headst oourdi r
ection.Holyfuckal ltheseey es
stari
ngatmear egi vi
ngmecr eeps.I t
’sli
ket heyare
seeingaliens,al
loft hem aren’tsayingat hing.Mvelo
standsupandcomet ous.Hegi vesmeahuganda
peckont hel i
ps.Isn’tthathownor mal couplesgreet
eachot her?Thenwhyi shet reati
ngmel ikehis
girl
fr
iend?

Hi
m:“Iknewy ou’
dcomeback.Gentst
hisi
su
Nt
ombifuthi
butIcal
lherMaNdosi
.”Weallexchange
gr
eet
ings.
Me:“
canwet al
kinpr
ivat
e?”henodsandl
eadsme
t
otheki
tchen.
Hi
m:“
arey
ouokay
?”
Me:“consi
der
ingthecurr
entnewsIam fi
ne.Iam
j
ustnothappyabouttheall
egat
ionsmadebypeopl
e,
t
hatyouandIareanitem.”
Hi
m:“
aren’
tweani
tem?
”

Me:
“Mv
elohav
ingsexdoesnotaut
omat
ical
l
y
changemyv i
ewsaboutr el
ati
onships.Idon’tdo
rel
ationshi
ps.Yeahwev ibedandconnect ed
yesterdaybutthatwasjusti
t,not
hingmor e.You’r
ea
greatguyandy oudeservesomeonewhoi sonthe
samepagewi t
hy ounotme. ”
Him:“
butIwantyou.
”Hesaypull
i
ngmet ohi
m by
mywaist.Hi
stouchsendt
ingl
esall
overmybody
butt
hat’
snotwhyIam her
e.

Me: “Mveloplease.
”Hedoesn’ tli
stenbuthegoes
str
aighttosuckingandni bblingmyneck.It rytostay
str
ongbutIf indmy sel
fmoani ng.Hekissesmychi n
andcomest omymout ht osmasheshi slipson
mine.Ialsorespondt otheki ssbecausehehas
defeatedme.Hef i
nall
ybr eaksthekissandst are
str
aightintomyey es.Iclearmyt hroat.

Me:“Pl
easefi
xthi
s.Call
yourpubl
i
cistNdonga.I
don’
tneedbadpress.
”
Hi
m:“
yousayi
ngmyclannamesmakesmehar d.By
t
hewayyoul
ookbeaut
if
ulandsupersexyi
nthat
dress.”Hesaysquickl
ycarr
y i
ngmeandpl aci
ngme
ont hekit
chencounter
.Iscream outofshock
becausenobodyhasev ercarri
edmet hatqui
ckl
y.
Me: “
canyoubeser i
ousj
ustf
oraminute?
”his
handsrubmythighsupanddown.DearGodcanhe
pl
easestopseducingmebecauseIam al
ready
soaki
ngwet?
Him:“
ify
ouwantt
okeept
hisbet
weenust
henIam
game.
”
Me:“t
hereisnothinggoingonbet weenus.Ihave
somewheretobe, pleasetakemedown. ”Hepi
cks
meupbutdoesn’ tputmedown, f
orci
ngmet owrap
mylegsaroundhiswai st.“Mvel
oIhav etogo.The
gi
rl
sandIar ehavingagi rl
s’dayoutatthebeach.I
don’
twannakeept hem waiti
ng.”Hecareful
l
yplaces
medown.
Him:“okay.Iwil
lsor
tthisout.Whenam Iseei
ngy
ou
agai
n?”uy any
a,Andi
zi.Iwalktothedoor
wayand
l
ookathi m.

Me:
“nev
er.
”Ir
ushoutt
othel
i
vingr
oom wher
e
everyonei
sseat
edbef
orehecanr
eply
.Hecomes
runni
ngbehindmeandhol
dsmefrom behi
nd.He
whispersi
nmyear.
Hi
m:“
wewi
l
lseeaboutt
hat
.”It
urnandl
ookathi
m.
Me:“y
oudon’tknowwhereIstay
, y
oudon’
thavemy
numbersogoodluck.
”Ismi
rk.Iturnmyat
tent
iont
o
hi
sfri
ends.“
Guysitwasni
cemeet ingy
oubutwe
havet
odash.Wehav eapart
yofourowntogot o.
”
Cebo: “
Leehasal r
eadyi nvi
tedustoyourouti
ngso
wewer ejustwaiti
ngf oryouguys.Let’
sgo.
”What
thefuck?Iwasexpect ingthatfr
om Nomanother.I
stareatLeeandsheav oidsmyey esandcl
earsher
throat
.Great,
justgreat.Whatcouldpossi
blygo
wrong?
Khay
a:“wewill
buyboozetoaddonthisandbuy
meatatBl
uffsothatwecanhaveabraai
.”
Noma: “
okay
.That’
ssett
led.Let’
sgo.
”Shesays
exci
tedl
yget
tingupandeveryonest
andsup.
Mv
elo:
“wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
”
Kgomot
so:
“war
nerbeach.
”theyal
lheadoutl
eav
ing
meandMv
eloi
nsi
det
hehouse.
Me:
“meandyoui
npubl i
ctoget
heragai
n?Lor
dhav
e
mer
cyonmysoul
.”Iheadout.
.
.
Wegobuybooze, meatandsnacksandgochi l
lat
thebeach.I t’
sactuall
ynotasbadasIt houghtitwill
be.Al t
houghMv el
oissitti
ngnextt ome, heisnot
beinganui sance.Wear ealljustchatti
ngli
kef r
iends
andev ent houghtherearecoupl esheretheyarenot
actingalll
ov eydoveyasi ft
heyst art
eddating
yesterday.Noma’ sboyfri
endar r
ives.Heiscuteand
shy, acompl et
eopposi t
eofNoma.Butpeopl edo
sayopposi teattr
acts.Yohshei sblushingli
kea
teenageandIam happyt hatmyf ri
endisinlove.

Me:
“soKhany
ahowol
dar
eyou?
”
Khany
a:“
Iam 26.
”Myf
ri
endsandIar
ethesameage.
Lee:“y
ouhavenopr
obl
em wi
thNomabei
ngabi
t
oldert
hanyou?
”
Khanya:“l
ovehasnobar r
ier
s.Whethershei
sol
der
orIam olderdoesn’
tmatter
.Whatmat t
ersi
swhat
wefeelforeachotherandIdolov
eher .
”
Me:“ncoohwhenIgr
owupIwannabej ustli
keyou
andfi
ndmysoul mat
e.”Isayi
nachi
l
dishv oi
ceand
ever
yonelaughs.
Cebo:“
butFuthyy
oursoulmatei
sri
ghtbesi
dey
ou.”
Idon’
tcommentonthat.I
nst
eadIst
andupandtake
offmydress.
Me:“Icameheret
oswim andchi
l
l.Idon’
tknow
aboutyouguy
sbuttheoceani
scall
ingme.”

NomaandLeel aughandt heyalsot akeof ft

heir
clot
hes.Kgomot sofoll
owspur suitandweal lgoand
swim.Afterami nuteortwotheguy sjoi
nus.Wear e
notreal
lyswimmi ngbutwear ej ustplayi
ngwi t
h
water.I
tiscooli
ngourbodi eswi thit
sperfect
temperatur
e.Wef inal
lygetoutoft hewat erandgo
backtowher eeveryoneissit
ti
ng.Igot omycart o
takeatowel,Iwrapitaroundmybodyandgoback
tothecrew.Ifi
ndsomeonesi t
tingonmycampchai r
,
thi
sisawkwar d.Mv el
oindi
catesthatIshoul
dcome
andsitonhislap.Irol
lmyey esandgosi tontopof
him.Iam abiggirlsoifhefi
ndsmeheav yIdon’
t
care,
heoffered.

Theotherguysar
ebraaingt
hemeatandweare
munchingonthesnacksanddri
nki
ng.Al
adywho
wasintr
oducedasNolwazil
ooksatMvel
oandIand
smil
es.

Nol
wazi:
“youguysmakeaverybeaut
if
ulcoupl
e.
Youcomplementeachot
her
’sski
nand
per
sonal
it
ies.
”
Khut
so:“
you’r
eri
ghtandFuthyIloveyourski
n.I
t’
s
sobeaut
if
ulandf
lawless.Whatproduct
sdoy ou
use?
”
Me: “
youcanconsul tmyder matol
ogi
st,Dr
.
NokukhanyaMnguni .Sheisgoodatwhatshedoes
andshecanr eferyoutoproductsyoucanuse
accordi
ngtoy ourskinbecauseyoucanusethe
product
sthatIuseandl aterfi
ndoutthatt
heyar
e
har
mfult
oyourskinandthencomebackandbl
ame
me,uy
ayi
bonaleyont
o.”
Khut
so:
“okay
.Wher
eisherof
fi
cel
ocat
ed?
”
Me:“
inuMzimkhul
u.Youcanf
indhercont
actdet
ail
s
onGoogl
e.”
Nosisa:“whydon’
tyouhitthegym andburnof fthat
fatonyourbody?Imeany ouareri
ch, ar
en’
ty ou?
Youcanaf for
danygy m membership.Iam pr
etty
sureguysloveyourpussynotyou.
”Nomachuckl es
bit
terl
y,waitf
ori
t.Iam notevengoingtoentertai
n
thi
schick.

Noma: “howlonghavey ouknownFut hy?”sheasks

l
ookingatNosi sa.Shedoesn’ tanswer .“
Whatmakes
yout hinkshewill
takeyourst upid,i
dioti
cadvi
ce?
Whati swr ongwithherweight ?Whosai dwomen
shouldwearsi ze26to34?Notev er
yonewasbor nto
beski nny.Someofuswer ebor ntobechubbyand
wer eallydon’
tcarewhatev eryonethinksaboutour
weightbecauseourpar entslov edusaswear e.Iam
asize36mnaandIam sof uckingproudofmy
weightandsoi sFuthy.Yourcommentt oheri sli
kea
dropofwat erinanocean.I twon’tmakeany
diff
erencebecauseshei snotdependi ngony out o
putfoodonhert able.Shei sperfect,
curvywi t
ha
fl
awlessski n.IfIst
artdissingyourbodyy ouwi l
l
wishy oust ayedinbedt odaysol etmet ool.”She
takesal ongsi ponherci der.“
Nxabi tcheswi t
hlow
self-
esteem. ”Weall l
augh.IknowhowNomat alks
whenshest ar
tswit
hchuckl i
ngbi t
ter
lysot hat’
swhy
Ididn’
tbot heropeningmymout h.

Nolwazi:
“rel
axladi
es.Sheisjustbi
tterbecauseshe
cheatedonShamasewi thhisfri
endandhedumped
her.NowthatShamasei sshowinginteresti
n
someonet hatpi
ssesheroff.
”Nomaj ustrol
l
seyes.

Myphoner i
ngs,Istandupandgoansweriti
na
quiet
erpl
acebecausewher eweareseat
edtherei
s
acarplayi
ngmusi c.I
t’
sZah.Mar
aItoldthi
sgir
lto
restandhavesome‘ meti
me’bakwethu.
Me:
“Ihopet
hisi
snotaboutwor
k.”Shel
aughs.
Zah:“yohIam fi
ndi
nghardtochooseamal e
bodyguardboss.Mostofthem aresofucki
n
handsome,theyarepant
ydr opper
sshame.”Il
augh
ather.
Me:“yeywenawhatisi
mportanti
smypr ot
ect
ion.I
don’
tcarewhet
herthebody
guardishandsomeor
not.
”
Zah: “
mar abossthi
spersonwillbewi
thyoumostof
thetime.Imaginehavi
ngtowat chuMuli
misif
rom
Muv hangonjedayondayout .Yohyouwil
lendup
uglyyoursel
f.
”Iburstoutl
aughing.
Me:
“youdomakeapoi
ntt
hough.
”
Zah:“y
eahpl
usIneedagoodviewmy sel
f.
”I
cont
inuel
aughi
ng.Thi
sgi
rlbaf
ethu.
Me:“hi
reanyonewhoi
sperfectf
ort
hejoband
comeshighl
yrecommended.Wewil
ltal
klat
er.
”
Zah:
“sur
eboss.
”Ihangup.

Igetbackt
otheot
her
s.Themeati
sfi
nal
l
yreadyso
weeatanddr ink.TheNosi sagirlhassomehow
di
sappear edbecauseIdon’ tseeherany where.
Anyway swhocar esabouther ?Wechi l
land
continuedri
nki ngandt alki
ng.We, t
hegirls,f
inal
ly
decidetoleavesoMv eloandCebohel puscar ryour
stuf
ft omycar .Lee,Khanya,NomaandKgomot so
getsinandt heywai tforme.Mv el
opullsmet ohi
m
andhugsme.It hinkIenjoybeinginhisar ms.He
ki
ssesmebr ief l
yandt henperksmyf orehead.

Mv
elo:
“canIpl
easehav
eyournumber
?”
Me: “Mv el
owhathappenedbet weenuswasaonce-
off.Idon’twantyougett
ingthewrongidea.Itol
d
yout hatIdon’
tdatethefi
rstti
mewet alked.Whatdo
yout hi
nkhaschangedr i
ghtnow?Yout houghtyour
dickhadpowert ochangemymi nd?”
Mv
elo:
“whyar
eyoubr
eaki
ngmyhear
t?”
Me: “
Ineveraskedforitandtr
ulyspeakingy ounever
gaveittome.Pleasedon’tmaket hi
shar derthanit
alr
eadyis.Seeyouaround.”Iperkhi
slipsandgeti n
thecar.Idr
iveoutofthebeach,leav
inghi m standi
ng
t
her
eli
keast
atue.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER6

Mom ar ri
v esonSundayaf t
ernoonwi thNomxol isi.
Not hiswor di
ssol ong.Wi llhav etogivehera
nickname, somethingshor tli
keLi siorXoli.Shei sa
veryshyandpol it
egi r
l butthatwi l
lendsoon.My
assistantshoul dbel i
keZah.Open, acti
veandf un.I
mustsetupameet ingf orbothoft hem.Iwantt hem
toknoweachot herwel l.Mom i sinahur rybecause
shei sfetchingdadf rom theai rportsoshej ust
dropsherof fandleav es.Xolijoinsmei nt hepatio
andKgomot sobringsusdr i
nks.Shesay sgoodby e
andt henl eaves.

Nomxolisi
:“y
ouhav
eabeaut i
ful
houseMissCel
e.”
Lordburymenow.Onlycl
i
entsandbusi
ness
associ
atescall
meMissCele.
Me:“Xol
i,
isi tokayi
fIcal
lyouXoli
?”shesmil
esand
nods.“
Okay .Iam moreli
keabigsist
ertoyout
han
anemployer.EvenemployeesatDCCcallmebymy
namesopl easecallmeFuthy.
”
Xoli
:“okaysi
siFut
hy.
”That
’sbet
tert
hannot
hing,
ri
ght?
Me:
“di
dmom t
ell
youwhatj
oby
ouwi
l
lbedoi
ng?
”
Xol
i
: “
shej
ustsaidIwill
beassi
sti
ngy
ou.It
hought
maybewit
hcleaning.
”
Me: “youwillbemysecondassi stantXoli.Personal
assistantnothelper.Youwil
lbeor gani
zingmyl ife
outsidewor knotmyhouse.That ’sKgomot so’
sjob.
Shei sthehousekeeperhere.Youj obistomake
sureIhav etimef ormysel
f.I
ny ourroom y ouwill
fi
ndaphone, lapt
opandt abl
et.Thoset hi
ngswi ll
makey ourj
obal oteasier
.Howmuchdi dmom pay
you?”
Xol
i
:“R4500.
”

Me:
“okayIwi
l
lbepay
ingy
ouR8000.Yourf
ir
stt
ask
i
st osear chforpl aceswhereIcanbr anchDCCat .
It
’seithervacantsi tesorbuildi
ngsf orsal e.
PreferablyintheCBD.Theenv i
ronmentar oundmust
besaf eandeasi l
yaccessibletot hecl i
entshhay
i
ndawoecashi l
e.Youcanf i
rstlookf orthosepl aces
atJohannesbur gandCapeTownf ornow.Whaty ou
willdoissear chf orthevacantplaces, takecont act
detail
sf orpeopl etocontact,callthem andhearhow
mucht heyarewi lli
ngtosellthepr opertyf or.Sel
lnot
rent.Iam notl ookingforacheaperpl acebutagood
place.Youwi lljotdown3pl aceswhi chmeetmy
requirementsi neacht ownt heny ouwi llcomet ome
withy ourresearch.”

Xoli
:“okaysi
si.Manjewherewil
lIbest
ayi
ng
becausether
ear en’
tcot
tageshere?
”
Me: “
insidet hehouse,downstair
s.It
’sonlymeand
Kgomot soheresot hereisenoughroom foryoutoo.
Anothert askIwanty outodoi ssearchfor
rest
aur antownersher einDurban,pr
ef er
abl
yblack
women.Mi naIam allaboutwomenempower ment.
Lookf orabout5owner sandy ouwil
l submi
tthatli
st
t
ome.Nottorushyoubuti
twil
lbegoodify
oust
art
wi
tht
hisr
esearchassoonaspossi
ble.
”
Xol
i:“okaysi
si.Canyoupleaseshowmet otheroom
Iwi
llbeusing?”Itakeoneofherbagsandleadher
i
nsi
det hehouset oherroom.Ipl
acethebagont op
oft
hebed.
Me: “ther
eisaclosetandanen-sui
tei
nt hi
sroom,all
yours.Ifyouhaveanyquest
ionsorproblemsyou
cant alkt
oeithermeorK.andrememberXol iyou
arenotahel perbutmyassi
stantsopleasesti
ckto
yourjob.”
Xol
i:
“okaysisi
andthanky
ouf
ort
hisj
ob.Ipr
omi
seI
won’
tdisappoi
nty
ou.”
Me:
“Ihopeso.
”

Ileaveherr oom andheadt othekitchen.It

akea
bottleofwi neandagl assandDor i
tosandgot othe
TVr oom.Ipl acethewi neandglassont hecoff
ee
table.Ibrowsethr oughthechannelsandf i
nal
l
y
settleforBETBl ack-i
sh.Xol
icomest ot heTVroom
andIt ellhertotakeawi negl
assandanysnacki n
thepantry,
shecomesbackwi
tht
heglassand
pri
ngles.Shesi
tsnextt
omeandshepoursthewi
ne
fort
hebot hofus.

Me:
“sot
ell
meabouty
ourf
ami
l
y.”
Her
:“mom i
sinthenav
yanddadi
sapol
i
ceof
fi
cer
.I
am t
heonl
ychil
d.”
Me:
“yeyy
ourpar
ent
sar
eher
oes.
”Shel
aughs.
Her
:“y
eaht
heyar
eandIam pr
oudchi
l
d.”
Me:
“howi
sitl
i
kenott
ohav
esi
bli
ngs?
”
Her:
“itcanbebor
ingbutdadi
smybestf
ri
endsoI
nev
erf el
tmuchofavoid.
”
Me:
“whatdi
dyouwannabegr
owi
ngup?
”
Her:“Ineverhadanydreamsorinspi
rati
onsbutI
wantedt obesomethingthatwon’
trequi
remet o
studybecauseIam notgift
edacademicall
y.
”She
saysandl ooksdown.

Me:
“heyy
oudon’
thav
etobeashamedoft
hat
.You
arenotst upidorwhat everwordanyonehasev er
call
edy ou.Notev eryoneissupposedtogot o
univer
sityinor dertogetaj ob.Looknowy ouar e
i
nexper i
encedandy ouhav eajobthatwillpayy ou
moret han5k.Youdon’ thavetopaybill
sorr entor
sendthemoneyt oyourparents.I
t’
sjustfory our
ownenj oyment .Don’tlookdownupony our self
becausey oudon’ thaveadegr eeanddon’tbe
i
ntimidatedbygr aduates.Therearepeoplewhogo
tovarsit
y, gr
aduat eanddon’ tgetj
obsaf t
er wards.
Considery ourselflucky.”

Her
:“t
hanky
ousi
si.
”
Me:“
sohowol
dar
eyouanddoy
ouhav
esomeone
i
nyourl
i
fe?
”
Her
:“ Iam 21andnoIdon’thaveaboyfr
iend.Idated
i
nhighschool andwhenIwasdoi nggr
ade12Il ost
myvirgini
ty.ButnowIam j
ustsingl
eandnot
l
ooking.”
Me:“y
ouandmebothsist
er.Cheerstosi
ngl
eton.
”
Shegi
ggl
esandr
aisesherglasssothatwecan
toast
.Weconti
nuechatt
ingandget t
ingtoknow
eachother
.Shei
snotthatshyit’
sjustthatshe
needstobecomfor
tabl
ef i
rstbef
oreshecanbef r
ee.
.
.
Thenextmor ningIgetr eadyf orworkandhead
downstair
swi thall mystuff.Ifi
ndKandXol i maki
ng
breakf
asttogether .Theyseem t ogetalong,whi
chis
exactl
ywhatIneed.Ican’ thavehousemat eswho
hateeachother .Thatwoul dmakel i
v i
ngconditi
ons
unbearabl
e.Igreett hem andsi tonthebarstool
placi
ngmyt hingsont hefreespaceint hecounter
.K
handsmeabowl ofwheetbi xandIstarteati
ng.

Xol
i
:“sosisi
wil
lIbegoi
ngwi
thy
out
owor
korwi
l
lI
beworki
ngathome?”
Me: “
Kpl easefixthepoolhouseandturniti
ntoher
off
ice.Iwillgetfur
nit
uret
omakei tacompl et
e
off
iceory ouguy scangoshoppingtoday.Youjust
needadesk, 2chair
s,j
uststaf
fnjeneededinan
off
ice.”
K:“
youcangiv
eusthemoneyFut
hysothatwecan
goshop.
”It
akeoutmyphoneandtr
ansf
er15ktoK.
Me: “Ihopethatwi llbeenough.Ifi
tain’
tpleasesend
meamessagesot hatIcanadd.Pleasebuya4i n1
print
er.Don’tforgetA4paper sandink.Youcan
Googl eotherstuffthatisneededinanof f
ice.”I
standupandcol lectmyst uf
f.“Seeyoulat
er.”Ihead
towor k.

Ijustgeti nt
omypr ivateelevatortoav oi
dnoi sy
empl oyeeswhowi l
lbeaski ngmeaboutt he
scandal sthathappenedov ertheweekendwi th
Mv elo.Igett omyof fi
ceandZahf oll
owssoonaf t
er.
Weexchangegr eetingsandshesi tsdown.Ihand
hert hesketchesoft heNongomapal acewhichI
fi
nishedl astnight.Isleptaround2am because
todayIwant edtost artonKuhl e’
ssecr ethouse.It
won’ tbeahassl ebecauset hereisn’tmuchdet ail
whendr awingit.Hisexpensi vefeatureswi l
lbedone
byt hebuilders.Zahheadst othe3Ddepar tmentand
Istartwi t
hthesecr ethousepr oject.It’
sjustabout
l
uncht i
mewhent hedooropensandmybr ot
her
Gcinowal
ksi
n.Il
astsawhi
mlastmont
handIhave
missedhi
m.Ist
andupandatt
ackhi
m wi
thahug.

Him:“
goodtoknowIhavebeenmi ssed.
”Igi
ggl
e
andhi
thi
sshoulderpl
ayf
ull
y.Il
eadhimt ot
hecouch
andwebothsi
tdown.
Me:
“towhatdoIowet
hispl
easantsur
pri
sev
isi
t?”
Him:“
Ifi
gur
edy ou’
rebusysoIj
ustwant
edtost
op
byandsayhibecauseIwasint
henei
ghbor
hood.
”
Me:“nei
ghbor
hoody
ani
?Awuzenzi
mdal
a.”Webot
h
l
augh.
Him:“andIal
sowant edy
out otakemeoutf
orl
unch
atthi
srest
aurantdownst
air
s.”
Me: “
youandf ood.”Il
aughbeforetakingmyphone
andwal l
et.Weheadt otherest
aurant.Weorderand
waitwhil
echatti
ng.“Sobesidesfreefood,whatel
se
broughtyouhere?”helaughs.
Him:“t
hereisameeti
ngathomeonFr iday
.SoI
wantedtoinf
ormyouaboutitfacet
ofacesothat
youdon’tf
orget
.Al
sotherentswantyoutospend
t
heweekendwiththem.
”Iexhal
eloudl
y.Awhol
e
weekend?That
’st
oomuch.
Me:
“whati
sthemeet
ingabout
?”
Hi
m:“umemul
okaNot
handowi
thi
s29t
hthi
s
mont
h.”
Me: “
umemul
ohowkubandakanj ena?Baf
una
ukugodol
i
sai
zinganezabant
u?”

Him: “shewasbor ni
nAugustsoshewant s
everythingthatconcernshert ohappeni nher
mont h.”Thewai t
ressbr i
ngsourf oodandwest art
eating.“BusiandLelear ealsogoi ngtobet here.”I
sigh.Ijusthopetherewon’ tbeanyf i
ghtsthistime
around.Busi issochil
dishsomet imes,sheact slike
alastbor n.Imeanwhowoul dn’tacceptandl ove
theirsibli
ngsbecauset heyar eplussize?Shei sthe
onewhoi ssupposedt obemor eaccept i
ngofusas
thef i
rstchil
dsot hatNothandocant akenot esfrom
her.Insteadsheact sl
ikebei ngchubbyi sadi sease
somet imes.That’swhyIpr eferLeeandNomaov er
myownsi st
ers.
Me: “
sohowmuchmoneydoy ouwant?”hegi v
es
meani nnocentl
ook.“IknowyouGcino.Youcould
havesentav oi
cenoteorletmom t
ellmet hi
s.The
factt
hatyoucameal lthewayher
ejusttoinfor
m me
meansy oualsowantmoneyorsomet hing.
”
Him:“
fi
ne.It
’snott
hatexpensi
ve.Iwi
l
lonl
yneed
R2000fori
t.
”
Me:
“whati
sit
?”
Him:“aBathuMojaEdit
ionbrownsneaker.I
t’
snot
R2000butIalsoneedchangesisi.
”Ir
ollmyeyes
andtransf
erthemoneyhewant s.Hejumpsfrom hi
s
seatandhugsme.Aftertheexci
tementhasdied
downher etur
nstohi
sseat.
Me:“j
ustsoyouknowIwon’tbebuy
ingyouthe
out
fi
tthatyouwi
llbewear
ingememulweni
.”
Him:“
sisit
hedevi
li
sal iar
.Don’tmakehim usey ou.
Don’
tall
owhimin.fi
re!Fir
e!Fi
re!”Il
aughhyster
icall
y.
Me:“y
ou’
reaski
ngformoneynowwhiley
oustil
l
wantmetobuyyouclot
hesagai
nthi
smonth.You
ar
eabusi
ngme.”
Him:“Iam prettysure2ki snothingtoy ousisi.2kt o
youislikeunweleekhanda.Nomal uwaol ul
odwa
akubonakalinokuthili
wephi f
uthakunamehl uko.
Wenay ou’retheblackBi l
lGates.Youar enotint he
makingbuty ouhav ealreadymadei t.Yougoti nto
theForbes30under30l astyear.Youown6car s.
Whyuzokhal i
swazi mpahl ananje?”Il augh.All t
hi s
prai
sejustforclothes.Hhaybakwet hu, l
astborn
expl
oitati
onisreal.

Me:
“thul
aGci
no,
thul
a.”
Him:“youknowIam ri
ght.”Wefi
nisheati
ngandwe
goourseparat
eway s,ofcour
seafterpr
omisi
ngt
hat
Iwil
lfi
ndanoutfi
tforhim.
.
.
Igetbacktomywor kandf i
nishthesecr ethouse
sket
ches.Ialr
eadyhadapi ctur
eofitinmi ndsoit
wassomucheasi ertoputitint
opaper .Itakethe
sket
chandheadt othe3Ddepar tment.Its5:30pm
somostoft hestaffhaveleftbutIfi
ndt henewgi r
l
Mel
odyst
il
lwor
king.

Me:
“whyar
eyoust
il
lher
e?”
Her:“
Ihadaf amil
yemergencyt hi
smorningsoI
cameinlate.Ij
ustwanttofi
nishtoday’
sworkfir
st
befor
erushinghome.”Ipl
acet hesket
chesinher
desk.
Me:“Ineedt
hosedonebyt omorr
ow10am.Pl ease
don’
tshowittoanyoneelseandyoumustsubmit
them t
omyof f
icepersonal
l
y.”
Her
:“okayboss.
”Shenodssev
eral
times.
Me: “andnexttimedon’tworksolat
e.Rat
herar
ri
ve
earl
ierthanusualthenextmorningt
hanworki
ng
yourbut tof
fsolateandalone.
”Itur
nonmyheels
andheadout .

Iarr
iveathome, t
akeashowerandheadt othe
dini
ngroom tojoi
ntheladiesforsupper.Kcooked
ri
ceandlambst ewwithsalads.Sheisagoodcook,
shedeservestobeachef .Weallsitar
oundthetable
andeat.Aft
ereatingKbringsdeser
tandwemunch
onit.Af
terthatshetakesthedi
shestotheki
tchen
andXoliasksifwecangot ot
hepoolhousesoIcan
seehernewof fi
ce.Sheseemsexcitedandnervous
atthesamet ime.

Weenterthepoolhouseanditl
ookssobeaut
if
ul
andcozy.Honest
lyi
fIknewithadthi
smuch
pot
enti
alIwouldhavemadeitmyof f
ice.

Me:“youguysout
didyoursel
ves.Thi
slooks
beauti
ful
.Yazi
aft
erbui
ldingandsett
li
nginatJoz
i
andCapeTownIwast hinki
ngofrenovati
ngmy
house.
”
Xoli:
“ whywouldy oudothatsi
si?Thishouseis
beaut i
fulandt
hef actt
hatyoudesigneditfr
om
scratchmakesi thaveasigni
fi
cantmeani ngtoyou.
Ify
ouwannadesi gnanotherhouseI’
dsuggesty ou
buyanot hersi
te.”
Me:“
Iwill
thi
nkabouti
t.Soanyr
esear
chy
oudi
d
t
oday?”
Xoli
:“y
esbuti
t’
snotenoughtopresenti
ttoy
ounow
butbytomor
roweveni
ngI’dbedone.”
Me:“
don’trushyour
sel
f.Youmi ghtendupgetti
ng
mesomet hi
ngImaynotl i
ke.Takeyourti
me.”Isay
asweareheadingbackinsi
dethehouse.“Good
ni
ght
.”
Xol
i
:“goodni
ghtsi
si.
”
Me: “
Kmybr otheri
scomingthi
sweek,Idon’
tknow
whichdaybutpleasepr
eparehi
sroom i
ncasehe
showsupear l
i
erthanexpect
ed.
”Shenods.“Good
ni
ght.”
K:
“ni
ghtboss.
”

Iheadt omyr oom andgetundercov ers.Thereisno

needf ormetosl eeppastmi dnightt oday.Iam
dreadingFri
daybecauset herel
ationshi pIhavewith
mysi ster
sdoesn’ tall
owust obei nt hesamespace
foralongerper i
od.ButIam doi ngt hisformy
parentsandbr others.AndIalsowannabet hebigger
person.Honest l
yt hei
rbeefwithmei sabsur d.AndI
thi
nkmebecomi ngmor esuccessf ul t
hanBusi may
hav
eaddedpet
rol
tot
heal
readybur
ningf
ir
e.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER7

Iam sit t
ingonmyof ficeorganizinganappoi nt ment
wi t
hSimami soMt hembu, av erytalenteddesi gner
from Empangeni .Shei sr
eallygoodatherj obt hatI
don’treallymi nddr i
vingtoEmpangeni justsoIcan
wearoneofhercr eationsememul weni kaNot hando.
Thedoorf liesopenandMv elowal ksincar ry
ing
whi t
er osesandaboxofchocol ate.Kant ewhat
doesi ttaket ogett hrought hi
sguy ?Sidlene
kwaphel al apho(wef uckedandi tendedt here).Yoh
i
st hishowguy sfeel whenaoneni ghtstandkeeps
forcingthemsel vesi ntotheirli
ves?HhayshameI
regretsleepi ngwithhi m now.

Mvel
o:“
sawubonaMaNdosi
.”Hi
m say
ingmycl an
namesdoesn’
tev
enexci
temeanymorebecause
uy
adi
na(
hei
sannoy
ing)
.
Me:“Shamasewhatbri
ngsyouhere?Dowehavean
appointmentmay
be?”hepl
acesthefl
ower
sand
chocolateonmydeskandsi
tsdownopposi
teme.
Mvel
o:“di
dImaybedosomethi
ngwrongtooffend
youormyper
formancewasn’
tuptoyourst
andard
andnowyou’
repushi
ngmeaway ?
”
Me:“
Mv el
owhatdi
dIsayt
oyout
hef
ir
stdayy
ou
t
ookyourshot
?”
Mv
elo:
“thaty
oudon’
tdor
elat
ionshi
psbut
…”
Me: “Mveloasifani minanawe( youandIar enott he
same) .Youaref rom acommi tt
edr el
ationshipand
youar elooki
ngf orst abi
l
itywherevery ouar egoing.I
placedmycar dsont hetablethefirstdaywet al
ked
nowIdon’ tunder standwhyy ouar ebehav i
ngl i
ke
this.Wenev erdat edandwenev erwill
.What
happenedonFr idaywasnot hingbuthar mlessfun.”
Mvel
o: “
justsoyouknowIam notgoingtogi
veup
onyou.Pushmeawayal lyouwantbutIam not
goi
ngany where.Byt
hewayy ourr
ecepti
oni
stgave
mey ournumbersoexpectacallf
rom mevery
soon.”Hestandsupandexitsmyoffi
ce.Ihuf
fin
frust
rat
ion.Whatwouldi
ttakeforhi
mt obackthe
fuckoff?YohThixo.

Any waysIt
aketheflowersandt hr
owt hem inthebin.
Itakethechocol
ateandheadt oZah’sof f
ice.Ifi
nd
herwithBobandseemsl i
ketheyarebusyi nher
drawingboardbutIneedtov entwethusot hey
oughttohearmeout .PlusIam thei
rbossaf teral
l.I
goandsi ti
nZah’schairbehi
ndherdesk.

Me:“
sor
ryt
odistur
bguy sbutt
hereissomethi
ng
i
nsi
demeandiyangi
shisa.
”Zahlaughsandcomes
t
otakeapi
eceofchocolat
e.Bobfoll
owspursui
tand
t
heybot
hsi
tdownandgi vemet hei
ratt
ent
ion.
Zah:
“sowhat
’swr
ong?
”
Me:“Iwil
lst
artwi
thy
ouBob.Hav
eyouev
erhada
onenightst
and?”
Bob:
“yeah.
”
Me:
“whati
sthepur
poseofaoneni
ghtst
and?
”
Bob: “t
ogi v
ey oupleasureonthatni
ghtandnev er
contacty ouagain.Actuall
yshedoesn’thavetohave
mynumberbecausewef indeachotherinthecl
ub
orwher ever,wear ebothhorny,
wedon’ tknowmuch
abouteachot herandthat’
sthebeautyofit.Wefuck
andf orgetabouteachot herandonl
yhol dontothe
memor y.
”
Me: “
sowhathappenswhentheonenightstand
wantsmor eandst
art
sinser
ti
nghi
mselfintoyour
dail
yli
fe?WhatdoyoudobecauseminaIcan’tdeal
shame? ”
Bob:
“youaret
alki
ngaboutt
hatsoccerpl
ayery
ou
ar
etrendi
ngwi
th?”
Me:
“don’
ttel
lmewear
est
il
ltr
endi
ng.
”
Bob:“y
ouare.Thepict
uresofyouki
ssi
ngandhi
m
per
kingyourf
oreheadwentvir
al.
”
Me:
“ dearGod.Whatdi
dIdot
odeser
vet
his?
”Ibur
ry
myfaceinmyhands.
Zah:“bossyouhaveniceli
feproblemsshame.I
real
l
yl i
kenewsbutPr i
nceKuhleisinboar
droom 1
wait
ingforyou.
”Istandupquickly.
Me:
“whatt
hef
uck?
!Whydi
dn’
tyout
ell
me?
”
Zah:
“rel
axhej
ustent
eredt
hebui
l
ding.
”
Me:“dudeyounearl
ycausedmeaheartatt
ack.He
maybeaclientbuthei
sstil
lroy
alt
yandyoudon’t
makeroyal
peoplewait
.”Iheadoutwi
thher
f
oll
owingme.

Itakeal
lthestuffIneedandweheadt oboar
droom
1.Wef i
ndhiml ooki
ngdashingasalways.Wesit
downaftergreeti
ngeachother.Zah’
sphonebeeps.
Shechecksthemessagesandt henl
ookatme.
Zah:
“Iam sor
ryboss.
”
Me:“i
t’
sfi
neyoucango.Igott
hiscov
ered.
”She
st
andsupandleav
e.
Kuhl
e:“
Iact
ual
l
yenj
oyy
ourcompanymor
e.”
Me: “pit
ythisisj
ustabusinessmeet i
ngsolet
’sget
ri
ghtt oit
.”Ihandhimthefil
esandst andup.“
You
willhavetoforgi
vemebutIl ovepresenti
ngwhil
e
standingandmov ingaround.”Hesmi l
es.
Kuhl
e:“
thef
loori
sal
lyour
s.”Lucki
l
ythepr
oject
ori
s
al
lset
.Iopenthefi
l
ewi
tht
hef
ir
sthouse,
the
Mandl
anzini
house.

Me: “t
hishousewi l
lbebuiltwithalowerbasement ,
basement ,groundf l
oor,fi
rstf
loorandar ooftopand
al
soar ondaveloutsideandapool house.Thel ower
basementi sy ourgarage,whereyouwi l
l storethe
cars.I
t’
smuchmor esaf erandconv enientbecause
shouldy ourhouseber obbedt hephar aswi l
lbe
caughtbef or
et heycanev enfigur
eoutt hatt hecars
arestoredint helowerbasement .
”Hel aughs.

“Thenwehav ethebasement .Itwillhaveabedr oom,

j
ustf orcontrol,andal soabat hroom.I twillalso
haveami nikitchen;anadul tpl ayroom wi thadul t
gamesl ikei snookerkanj ethenaci nemar oom.I t
will
bedi videdwi thwal lt
ocei lingglasswal l
s.There
will
alsobeasaf eroom, j
usti ncase. ”Hel aughs
again.Thisisaf i
rst,whenev erIam pr esentingthe
cli
entpay sat t
entionandhar dlyblinksbuti nt hi
s
caseKuhl ekeepsl aughinglikehei satTr evor
Noah’
sonemanshow.“
Ngi
yekeNdabezi
tha(
shoul
d
Ist
op)
?”

Kuhle:“
nopleaseconti
nue.I
t’
sjustt
haty
ouar
est
il
l
i
nsisti
ngthatIam gangst
erMaCele.
”
Me: “
untilyouprovemeot herwiset heni t
’sguilt
y
unti
lproveninnocent.”Hechuckles.“ Wehav et he
groundfloor.I
twillhave4bedrooms; 3bat hrooms; a
separatetoil
et;
loungewi t
haf i
replace;kitchenwi t
h
anopenpl antherewi l
lbenowal lsepar ati
ngi twit
h
thedini
ngr oom.Ther ewil
lalsobey ourstudyor
offi
cethenani ndoorgy m.”

“Thefir
stfl
oorwithhave6bedroomsincl
udi
ngthe
mai nbedr
oom wi t
hen-sui
tesandt
heyallwi
l
lhave
balconi
es.Therewill
alsobeanopenspacein
betweenjustforcontr
ol.
”

Kuhl
e:“
youalwaysusethi
sjustforcontr
olwhen
pr
esent
ingoruny
elaminanje(you’r
ejustki
ddi
ng
me)
?”Ibur
stoutl
aughi
ng.
Me:“Kuhl
eIhave2morehousest
opr
esentso
pl
easestopdi
stur
bingme.
”
Kuhl
e:“
Ial
readyt
rustyourj
udgmentnomaunganga
pr
esent
anjetheother2.
”
Me:“hhay
, hhayKuhl
eIt
ookmyti
meprepari
ngthis
pr
esentat
ionboh.Youcan’
tdi
smi
ssmelikethat
.”

Kuhle:“awaniamangaMaCel e(what’swiththeli
es)
?
Youar eapr owenay ounol ongerpreparef ora
presentati
on.Youj ustf i
nishdrawingandbel i
ke
‘
hhayIknowwhatIdr ewsopr esent
ingitshouldbe
easy’.
”Ilaughagainbecausewhathei ssay i
ngisso
tr
ue.Idon’tknowwhent helastti
meIpr epared
my sel
fforapr esentationwas.Mostoft het i
meZah
doest hepresenti
ng.

Me:“anywaysyouhavet
herooft
opwit
hagazebo
andwill
havecoucheswhereyouwi
l
lchil
landhave
fewdri
nks.Thereal
sowil
lbeahott
ubthere.Ther
e
wi
ll
beastai
rcasei
nsi
deandout
sidel
eadi
ngt
othe
r
ooft
op…”

Kuhl
e:“
justforcont
rol
?”heaskswi
thasmi
rk.FuckI
wasgoi
ngt osaythatvel
e.
Me:
“sowhatdoy
out
hinkoft
hef
ir
sthouse?
”
Kuhle:
“Il
oveeveryt
hingabouti
tandt
heall
featur
es
youadded.Iam sat
isfi
ed.
”Inodandmoveontothe
nextone.
Me:“yourpalacemyki
ngwil
lhave2rondav
elsas
youhadstated.Al
soacot
tagefory
ourservant
sor
hel
pers.
”
Kuhl
e:“
Ili
kehowy
ousaymyki
ng.
”
Me:“y
aziningi
zoyekangi
phindengingakwenzel
i
l
ezi
ndluzakho(knowthatIwill
ceaseanddonot
bui
l
dy ourhouses)
.”
Kuhl
e:“
Iam sor
ry.Pl
easecont
inue.
”Hesay
spout
ing.
Il
aughathi
m.
Me: “wel l
t hebasementi st hegar age.Thegr ound
fl
oorhasal obbyl i
kehot el;akitchen; l
ounge; l
iv
ing
room; dininghal l
; 4bedr oomswi thbat hr oomsand
yourst udyr oom andal soat hroner oom j ustfor
control.Thef ir
stf l
oorhas6bedr oomswi th
bathrooms; yourwi fe’sst udyr oom; ani ndoorgy m
andaci nemar oom.Thesecondf l
oorhas6
bedroomswi thbat hrooms, ami nikitchenandani n-
housebar .Thet hirdfloorwi l
lhav et hemai n
bedroom; 3bedr oomswi thbat hr ooms; ani ndoor
spar oom j ustforcont rol.Thent her oof tophasa
heli
padbecauseIam pr ettysur ey oudohav ea
chopper .Itwillalsohav ef eaturesl i
ket her ooftop
from theMandl anzi nihouse.I twi llalsohav ean
elevatorandst ai
rcasei nsi deandout side.Any
comment s?”

Kuhle:“Itol
dy outhatIam sat
isf
ied.Ev
enthoughmy
wifeisn’tworkingyoudidwellbyconsi
der
ingan
off
icef orher
.May beshewi l
ldevel
opahobbyas
ti
megoesby .”
Me:
“thent
her
eisy
ourgangst
erhouse.
”
Kuhle:“MaCeleIam anappdevel
oper .Myy ounger
si
sterisahackerandmyy oungerbrotherisanIT
geeksowel i
kehavi
ngasecretplace.Thisisour
secretplace.
”

Me: “okayIbel i
ev eyou.Any way si thasal ower
basementwhi chhasat unnel leadi ngout side
somewher ejusti ncasey ouf indy ourselfinat i
ght
situation.Thebasementwher et her eisamedi c
room, aweaponr yroom andt herei sal soasecr et
elev atorf r
om t hebasementt ot hel owerbasement .
Thegr oundf l
oorwi llbel i
keanynor mal housewi tha
kitchen, di
ningr oom, lounge, toiletandst udy.Ithas
4ent rances.1f rontdoor ,backdoor ,thedoort hat
l
eadsy oui nsidet hehousef rom t hegar agethena
secr ethi ddendoort hatwi llbel eadi ngy oustraight
tot hewoods.The1stf l
oorwi llhav eamai n
bedr oom andaguestbedr oom andast udy.Youcan
changeoneoft hestudyt obey ourwor kingroom. ”

Kuhl
e:“
event
houghIam nogangst
erIam happy
wit
hev er
ythi
nginthi
shouse.Ihav
enocompl
ainsor
anyt
hingIwouldli
ketoadd.
”
Me:“okayIguessIwill
havesomeonesendyouthe
i
nvoicesothattheycanst
artwi
thbui
ldi
ngyour
houses.
”
Kuhle:“t
hanky
ou.Sowheni
sourf
ri
endl
yget
together
?”

Me:“youdon’tf
orgetneh?”henods“
wel
lthi
sFr
iday
Iam goi
nghomef ortheweekend.Somaybewecan
gett
ogethernextFri
day.
”
Kuhle:“
soareyouandShamaser
eal
l
yani
tem?
”he
asksinatoneIcan’
tdeci
pher
.

Me:“Kuhl eIdidt ell

y outhatIdon’tdat
esot hat
wouldn’thavechangedi namat t
eroffewday s.
MveloandIf uckedonceandt hatwasi t
.Hewasa
onenightstandandnowhei sactingasifwear e
dat
ing.WhatIhat ethemosti sthatheisnot
di
smi ssingther umor sthatarecircul
ati
ngthatIand
heareanit
em.Thi
sisoneoft
hereasonsIdi
dn’
t
wannahangoutwi
thyoui
npubl
ic.
”

Kuhl
e:“
soy
ousl
eptwi
thhi
m?”
Me:“don’
tgetjealousmyking.Iam si
ngl
eIcan
sl
eepwithwhoev erIwant.
”Her ol
l
shiseyesand
st
andsup,Ialsost andup.
Kuhle:
“seeyousoon.CanIgetahug?”Ichuckleand
hughim.Godwhydoeshehav etosmellsogood
andhavesocomf or
tabl
earms?Iwouldn’tmind
fal
li
ngasleepi
nthem ever
ynight.Wefi
nall
ybreak
thehugandlookateachother’
seyes.
Me:
“yousmel
lni
ce.
”Hegi
ggl
es.
Kuhl
e:“y
out oo.Goodby
e.”Hel
eav
es.Whatt
hef
uck
j
usthappened?
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER8

Igettomyfl
oorandf i
ndZahwi th3otherpeople.
Theyareweari
ngallbl
acksoIsuspectt heyarethe
bodyguar
dsandthedriver
.Yerrthemalebody guard
i
sanent i
remealIwouldn’
tmindeat i
ng.Justkiddi
ng.
Iwouldn’
tsl
eepwithanemploy ee,
Iam notlikethat
.

Zah:“soguysthi
sisMissNt ombifuthiCelebuty ou
cancallherFut
hybecauseshehat esbei ngcall
edby
MissCele.Sheisyourboss.FuthythisisMabut ho
NzamaandThobekaNgweny ayourbody guardsand
thi
sisZamokuhleSimelaney ourdri
ver.
”
Me:“ni
cetomeetyouguys.
”Ishakethei
rhands.“
I
hopethei
rcont
ract
shavebeensetandsigned.
”
Zah:
“yeah,
ever
ythi
nghasbeendone.
”
Me:“
okay.IguessIwil
lseeyouguyst
omor
rowat
myhouseat7am brightandear
ly.
”
Zamokuhl
e:“
sur
eboss.
”Ipr
oceedt
omyof
fi
ce.

Ifi
ndar chit
ectsthereandIf rownthenremembert he
BlueDi amondPr oject.Wecombi neallt
hesket ches
andIt ellMelodytosubmi tthefi
nalsketcht othe3D
department .Sheagr eesandIdismissthemeet i
ng.
AfterthatIheadhome.Ipl acemyst uf
finmyr oom,
wearsl eepersandt henheadt othepool house.I
fi
ndXol i
busyt y
pingsomet hingonthelapt op.Isi
t
ont hechairavail
ableandcl earmythroat.Sher ai
ses
herheadandsmi l
eswhensheseesme.

Me:
“fi
ndanyr
est
aur
antowner
s?”
Xol
i:
“yeah.”Shehandsmehertabl
etwhi
chhasal
i
st.
Il
ookatitandchoosemypick.
Me:“SamukeleTobo.That’
smypick.Contacther
andfi
ndoutifsheisavai
labl
etomorrow.Ifsheis,
setupalunchmeetingwithmeandher .Howist he
sear
chf
orspacecomi
ngup?
”
Xol
i:“IhavefoundafewinJHBbutallt
hat
’sl
efti
s
nar
rowi ngthem downaccor
dingt
othei
rsi
zes,
env
ironmentandsaf et
y.”
Me:“
okay.Iam t
ir
edsoIam j
ustgoi
ngt
otakeanap.
Seey
oulater.
”
Xoli
:“okay
.”Igotomyroom, t
akeaqui
ckshower,
wearmyov ersi
zedt
-shi
rtandtakemywel
ldeser
ved
nap.

*
**NARRATED*
**
Mv elowassit
tingathishomet hinki
ngaboutt he
amazi ngNtombifuthiCel
e.Hehasf all
enforherhard
andheknewt hattherewasnot urni
ngback,only
surrenderi
ngtolove.Helovedherandheswor ethat
hewoul dhavetomakeherhi snomat terwhatit
takes.Heknewt hatshedoesn’twantaser i
ous
rel
ationshi
pbuthewasgoi ngtoconvinceheruntil
shechangeshermi nd.
Hismi nddr i
ftedtothenightofpassiontheyhad.
Shet ookhi mt oaplacehehasnev erbeenbef or
e.It
wast hebestsexhehasev erdoneinhisentir
eli
fe
andhedi dn’
twantt ohavesexwi t
hany oneelsebut
her.Hi sheartbrokewhenhewokeupt hefoll
owing
mor ninganddi dn’tf
indhernexttohim.Hi segowas
bruised.Het houghtthatmay behedidn’tperf
orm
well.

Hewasdr i
nkingHeinekenwhenCeboandAndi l
egot
i
nt helounge.Andil
ewenttofetch3beersforal
l3of
them becauseMv el
o’sbeerwasnearl
yfini
shed.He
satdownandopenedt hebeersandpassedthe
othertwotohi sf
ri
ends.Hecouldseethat
somet hi
ngwasbot heri
nghim sohedecidedtoask.

Andi
l
e:“
Shamasewhat
’sup?Youdon’
tlookgood.
”
Mvelo:“IwenttoseeFuthyandshewasnothappy
toseeme.I nfacti
tseemedl i
kemypresence
i
rri
tat
edher .Il
ovethatgi
rlandIdon’
tknowwhatI
shoulddonext.”
Cebo:
“don’
ttel
lmey
ouar
egi
vi
nguponher
.”
Mvel
o:“
noIam not.ButIneednewst
rat
egi
eson
howtoappr
oachher.”
Andile:“
doal i
vev i
deodeclari
ngyourlovetoher .
Alreadyyourfansthinkyouguysaretogether.This
grandgesturemaymakeherf allf
oryou.Justsayt o
thev i
deoyoudi dsomethingbadandbegy ourfans
togoandpl eady ourcasetoher.I
fthatdoesn’twork
thenIdon’tknowwhatwi l
l.
”
Cebo: “notbad.Andmay bebuyheradiamond
necklaceandear r
ingsandhavethosedeli
ver
edt
o
herhouse.Youknowdi amondsareagirl
’
sbest
fr
iend.”
Mv
elo:
“yout
hinkt
hatwoul
ddot
het
ri
ck?
”
Andi
l
e:“
youwon’
tknowunt
ily
out
ry.
”Mv
elonodded.

Hetookhi siPad,wentonli
netoaj ewelr
ystore
nearby.Heor der
edthediamondneckl aceand
earr
ingsset.HeputFuthy’saddresssot hatt
heycan
bedeliver
edatherhouse.Het hent ookhisphone
andloggedintoInst
agram.Hewasdesper at
efor
Futhy’
slovethathedi
dn’tknowwhatthe
consequencesofhisacti
onswil
lbe.Hestart
edthe
l
ivevideo.

Mv elo:“heyguy s.Thi sismyf irstt i

medoi ngal i
ve
video.Firstofal lIwannat hanky ouguy sfort helove
youhav ebeenshowi ngme.Ir eallyappr eciatei t
.
Secondl yther eisthi samazi ng, phenomenal and
beaut i
fulwomanbyt henameofNt ombi f
uthi Cele,
theCEOofDubandl elaConst ructionCompany .She
hasmanagedt ocapt uremyhear ti nsuchashor t
periodoft ime.Ihav er eal
izedt hatIcan’ tliv
el ife
withouther .MaNdosi i
fyou’rewat chingthisjust
knowt hatthishear t,”hepoi ntedhi schest ,“i
tbeat s
fory ouonl y.Ihav efal l
endeepl yf ory ouand
somet imesi tscaresme.Pl easeal lowmet ol ove
youandt reaty oulikeaqueent haty ouare.Nani
guy spleasedoputupagoodwor df orme. ”he
chuckled.“ By eguy s.”Heendedt hel ivevi
deo.
Andi
l
e:“
mant
hatwasdeep.
”Theyal
lchuckl
ed.
.
.
Kuhlehadj ustf
ini
shedv i
ewi ngMv el
o’slivevi
deo.
Hechuckl edandshookhi shead.Tr uthbet ol
dhe
hadf al
lenforMissCelebutdi dn’twanttoactoutof
hisfeeli
ngsbecausef i
rstl
yhewasmar r
iedand
secondlyheknewt hatiftheywer etopur suea
rel
ationshipFut
hywoul dn’tsett
leforbeingasecond
wifebecauseshei stooindependentf orthat.

Any waysheputhi sphonedown, hedidn’teven

knowwhatmadehi mv iewMv elo’
sliv
ev ideointhe
fi
rstplace.Rightthatmomenthi swifedescended
thestairswearingashor tti
ghtdresswith6i nch
sti
lett
os.Hechuckl edindisbeli
efandclickedhis
tongue.Hi swifej
usthadt heabili
tyt
oupsethi m
mostoft heti
meandat t
racti
ngbadpr ess.He
wonder edifshewi l
leverchangeherbehav i
orwhen
shehasbeencr ownedt heQueenoft heZul u
Kingdom.
Sthabi
l
e: “
owwhoneyIdi
dn’
tknowy
ou’
rebackf
rom
theoff
ice.
”Shesmi
ledathi
m.
Kuhle:“
wheredoy outhi
nkyou’r
egoingdressedl
ike
that
?DoIhav etoremindever
yt i
mey ougooutthat
youareaprincessandyoumustdr essandact
accordi
ngl
y?”sheroll
edhereyes.
Sthabi
l
e:“mylovet
hisdressi
snotev
ent
hatshor
t.
”
Kuhlerai
sedhi
seyebrows.
Kuhl
e:“r
eal
ly
?Bendov erandtouchy
ourheel
s.”She
l
aughedandKuhl
egav eherthedeat
hstar
eandshe
sawthathewasser
ious.
St
habi
l
e:“
babel
i
sten…”
Kuhle:“
y oucan’tevenbendbecauseyouknowt hat
yourdressistooshor tandi
twil
lexposeyourbehind.
Nowt ellyourhusbandwhereyouareheadedto.”he
sai
dsar casti
call
y.
Sthabi
le:
“toCubanawi
thmyf
ri
ends.
”Kuhl
elaughed
angri
ly
.
Kuhl
e:“
whoar
eyoumar
ri
edt
oSt
habi
l
e?”
St
habi
l
e:“
you.
”
Kuhl
e:“
andwhatam i
?”
St
habi
l
e:“
thepr
inceoft
heZul
uKi
ngdom.
”

Kuhle:“soyouasapr i
ncessandt hef uturequeen,
doy outhinkthisistherightatti
reforaf utur e
queen?”sheshookherhead.“ Somyl oveify ouno
l
ongerwannabemywi fe, gotoCubanai nthatdress.
Youwi l
l f
inddivorcepaper swaiti
ngf ory oubyy our
bedside.”Hest oodup.“ AndIwillknowi fyouwent
behindmyback. ”Hetookhi sphoneandheadedout .
Sthabil
ewal kedbackupst ai
rswithhert ailbetween
herlegs.Sheknewbet t
ert hantocrossKuhl e
becausehei snotav i
olentmanbutoncehesay she
will
dosomet hingthenhewi l
ldoitandnoonecan
changehi smi nd.Heiski ndbutoncey oupi sshi
m
offhecanbeanani mal.
.
.
*
**BACKTOFUTHY*
**
YaziMv el
oistestingmeandhewon’ tl
ikeitwhenI
showhi m mytruecol our s.Hedoesn’ tknowt he
consequencesofhi simpul si
veactions.Iwast aki
ng
anapbutIwokeupaf t eranhourbecauseIdon’ t
sleepduri
ngtheday .AndIwakeupt of i
ndt hat
Mv el
ohast ur
nedmei ntoacel ebri
ty.Idial
Noma’ s
numberwi t
hhopest hathecanf indasol ut
iont ot
his.
Sheanswer safter5r i
ngst hatmeansshei st il
lat
theoffi
ce.

Noma:“
Adv
ocat
eBi
yel
aspeaki
ng,
howmayIhel
p
you?
”
Me:“howmuchdoesitcostt
osuesomeonef
or
mi
sleadi
ngt
hepubli
c?”
Noma:“
heytase,
IsawMv
elo’
sli
vev
ideo.Howar
e
youf
eel
ing?
”
Me: “t
asewhodoest hat
?Hemayt hi
nkthatwas
romant i
corsomethi
ngandi tmayhavebeen
romant i
cforsomeoneelsebutnotforme.Thi
s
stuntinf
uri
atesme.Heismaki ngmehatehim day
byday.Canyoujustaskoneofyourgangst
ercl
i
ent
s
toeli
minat
ehim?”shelaughsandIalsol
augh
becausesheknowsIam joki
ng.
Noma:“mngani
Iam sensi
ngpapar
azzi
tomor
row
morni
ngatDCC.”
Me:“
luckymeIhavebodyguar
dsandyoushoul
dsee
mydri
verandmalebodyguar
d.Theyar
esohottase,
t
hei
rmusclesdearGod.
”
Noma: “
Iam i
nar el
ati
onshi
pFut
hy,
stopt
ryi
ngt
o
cor
ruptme.”Il
augh.
Me:“
anyway
swhatshoul
dIdowi
tht
hisi
ssueof
Mvel
o?”
Noma:“
ignor
eit
.Itshouldblowupsoonandpeopl
e
wi
llmov
eont oanotherscandal
.”
Me: “Ihopesotase.AnywaysNot
handoishaving
umemul omonthend.Youshoul
dcomewi t
hy our
bae.”Shescreams,damagingmyeardr
umsi nthe
process.
Noma:“yeyIcan’
twait
,wearegoi
ngtobeslay
ingi
n
matchi
ngoutfi
tswit
hbaeninyeny
inokushi
ma
kwenunoLee.
”
Me:“okusal
ayoi
twi
llendintears.
”Sheburstsout
l
aughingandIendt
hecall.Ial
socallLeeandtell
her
aboutumemulokaNothando.Sheisalsoexcit
ed
aboutit
.

Iwearmysleeper
sandtakemyphone.Igo
downstai
rsandfi
ndKandXol iwatchi
ngTV.Ij
oin
them.TheyaskmehowIf eel
aboutMv el
o’sl
iv
e
videoandIj
ustbr
usht
hequest ionasi
de.

Xoli
:“soImanagedt osetupameet i
ngwithMiss
Tobo.Shewi l
lbeabletoseey outomorrowather
rest
aurantinDurbanNorth.Thenameoft he
rest
aurantisToboBuzz.Yourmeet i
ngisat14:30.
SoImaysuggestt hatyouf i
nishal
lyourday’
swork
andaf t
erthemeetingyoujustcomebackhome. ”
Me:“
okay.Iwantyoutocomewit
hmet othe
meet
ing.Youareaft
eral
lmyassi
stant
.”
Xol
i
:“ohhokay
.”
Me: “youwil
ltakeanUbertoDCCt
omorr owat13:30
sot hatyoucanmeetZahandwewill
leav et
ogether
toToboBuzz. ”Shenods.“
NowKhavey oucooked
dinner?”
K:
“noIwasaboutt
ost
art
.”
Me:“don’
tbother
.Iam cr
avi
ngpi
zzatoni
ghtso
pl
easeorderalar
geBBQBaconformeandy oucan
al
soorder2foryouguys.
”Shenodsandplacesthe
or
der.
K:“
soMay i
bongwepr
oposed.
”May i
bongweisher
boy
fri
end,
theonesheal
waysvisi
tsonSundays.
Me:
“OMG!That
’sawesome.Wher
eist
her
ing?
”
K:“
hesaidIwi
l
lweari
toncehei
sdonepay
ing
l
obola.
”
Me:
“thi
sisgreat.Iam happyf
ory
ou.”Isidehugher
.
“
Nowaftergett
ingmar ri
edyouwi
l
lquityourj
ob?”
K:
“hel
lno.Iwon’
tbeahousewi
febutIwi
l
lsur
ely
moveout.
”
Me:“t
hat
’sunder
standable.Any
way sIhi
red
body
guar
dsandadr iver
.Theywill
beheretomor
row
morni
ng.Idon’
twanty
ouguy
sconf
usedwhent
hey
ar
ri
ve.
”
Xol
i:“
aretheyhot
?”bot
hKandIl
augh.Wher
eist
he
i
nnocentsingl
eNomxol
isi
?
Me:“
youwannar
ideamuscl
edbody
guar
d?”she
gi
ggl
es.
Xoli
:“no,
Iwasjustthi
nki
ngaboutt
hev
iews.
”We
conti
nuelaughi
ng.
K:
“vi
ewsneh?
”shegi
vesherami
schi
evoussmi
l
e.
Thepi zzaar ri
v esandweeatwhi l
echat t
ing.Imay
notadmi ti
toutl oudbutit’
sni cetolivewi t
hot her
people.Abi ghousecanbel onelysomet i
mes.Af t
er
eatingwecont inuewatchingTVandat9pm Iexcuse
my self.Igot omyr oom, brushmyt eethandgeti nto
bed.If indamessagef rom Simami sosay i
ngIcan
comenextweekTuesdaybecauseshewi l
lbef r
ee.I
sentGci noatextt ell
inghimt hatwear egoingt o
Empangeni onTuesday .Hedoesn’ tev enaskwhywe
aregoi ngt here.Hej ustseemshappyaboutt heroad
tr
ip.Kids.Ipr aymyni ghtprayerandt henfallasleep
afterthat .
CHAPTER9

Iwakeupandpr epareforwor k.Iheaddownstai

rs
andfindMabutho,Thobeka,Zamokuhl e,Nomxoli
si
andKgomot soaroundtheki
t chencounter.Ki
s
di
shingbreakf
ast.

Me:
“Ihopet
her
eisst
il
lsomel
eftf
orme.
”Kgi
ggl
es.
K:“
youusual
lydon’teatbreakf
asther
esoIdidn’
t
i
ncl
udeyouinthi
s.”Iplacemyhandi nmychest
dr
amati
call
y.
Me: “suchcrueltyKgomot so.Whotaughtyouthi
s
evi
lness?Isi tNomx ol
i
si?”theybot
hlaugh.Thenew
empl oyeeslooksoconf used.Khandsmeabowl of
cerealandIt hankherandsi tonavacantbarst
ool
.
“Sohowar ey ouguys?”
Thobeka:
“Iam st
il
lst
uckont
hecr
uel
typar
t.
”Weal
l
l
aughather.
Zamokuhl
e:“
wear
efi
neFut
hy.Howar
eyou?
”
Me: “
besi
desthepapar
azziIam aboutt
oface,
Iam
good.Nowdoy ouguysthi
nkit
’sagoodideatoli
ve
i
ny ourownspaces?Imeanthereissomuchroom
i
nthishouse,
Idon’tmi
ndsharingit.
”
Mabutho:
“wedon’
twannai
mpose.Wear
eokay
wher
ewest ay
.”

Me: “youknowwhat ?Psek.InfactIam inst ruct

ing
yout ocomest aywi t
hme.I nthatwayIwi l
l know
eveni fsomeonet riestobreakinatni ght
, Iam saf e.
Thatismyf i
nal j
udgment .
”IlookatK.“ wher eisthe
courtt hi
ngy?”sheopensadr awerandhandsmea
gavel.Ibangi tont hecounter.“
Casedi smi ssed.
Nextcase. ”Theyal ll
augh.Iactuall
yboughtagav el
becausemostoft hetimeLeeandNomaal way s
disagreeandIhav etosettl
et hedispute,Iam al ways
theref er
ee.
K:“sowhenwil
lyouguysbemov
ingi
nsot
hatwe
canprepar
eyourrooms?”
Thobeka:
“Iguesst
omor
row.
”
Me:“thisweekendy ouareoff.Iam goi
nghomesoI
don’
tneedguar dsthere.Thatmeansy ouguyscan
movei nonSundayaf ter
noon.Dur i
ngtheweekend
goseey ourgir
lf
ri
endsandboy fr
iendsandser
ve
noti
cetoy ourl
andl
or ds.
”
Mabutho:“sur
eboss.”Ifi
nisheati
ngmycer ealand
handthebowl toK.Iopenadr awerandt
akeoutt he
carkeysoftheAstonMar t
inandtheFort
uner .Ihand
theAM carkeystoZamokuhl eandtheFort
uner
onestoMabut ho.
Me:“
youguyswil
lri
deint
heFor
tunerand
Zamokuhl
eandIwil
lri
dei
ntheAstonMarti
n.”I
st
andupandweheadout.
Thobeka:
“howmanycar
sdoy
ouhav
e?”
Me:
“6.”Sheexclai
msandqui
cklycol
lect
sher
sel
f.
Weall
getint
ot hecar
sanddr
iveout.
Wear ri
veatworkandfindjournali
stsatthefront
door .Lordgiv
emest r
ength.Zamokuhl eopenst he
doorf ormeandIgetout .Themi nutemyheel l
ands
ont hef l
oorcamerasst
artflashi
ng.Iwoul dn’
tmi nd
thi
sat tenti
onifi
twasjournali
stswantingt oknow
mor eaboutmycompany .Butbecausei t
’sabouta
stupidstuntpull
edbyMv elo,i
tirr
it
atesme.Mabut ho
paveswayf ormeandIent erthebuil
dingcompl etel
y
i
gnor ingthequesti
onsbythepr ess.

Wet akemypr ivat eel

ev atorandwegett omyof fice.
Theyputmyst uffont opofmyt ableandheadout .I
si
tonmychai randst artworking.At10am Zah
bri
ngsmemyl unch.Icanseet hatshewant stotalk
aboutt heliv
ev ideobutIj ustdismissher .Not
everythingisaboutMv elobethuna.Af tereatingI
checkmyemai lsandf i
ndoutt hatmyappl icati
onf or
doingaPhDi nAr chi
tect ur
eandPl anni
ngatWI TS
hasbeenaccept ed.Atl eastsomegoodnews.
Alt
houghi tmightt akeme4y earst ocompl etemy
PhD, Idon’tcare, aslongasIam Doct orCel eatthe
end.YeahIdi dmyMast ersaftercompl et
ingmy
Honor
s.

Itakemyphoneandcal l
mygi r
lst
hrougha
confer
encecal
l.Theybothanswer
s.Ital
kbef
ore
theycanevensayhell
o.
Me:“guesswhoy
ouwill
becall
ingDr
.Cel
ein3or4
year
stocome?”t
heybothscr
eam.
Noma:
“OMGt
heyaccept
edy
ou?
”
Me:
“yesgi
rl
.”
Lee:
“that
’sgoodnews.Weshoul
dcel
ebr
ate.Ani
ght
i
nZimbalijustf
orcont
rol
nje.
”
Me:
“whoi
spay
ing?
”
Lee:
“Iam.
”
Noma:
“theny
ay.Sowhenar
ewegoi
ng?
”
Me:“howaboutt
omor
rowni
ghtbecauseonFr
idayI
am goi
nghome?”
Lee:“soundslikeapl
an.WaitNomahaven’
tyou
recei
vedy ouremail
?”sheal
soappl
iedt
odoherPhD
i
nLaw.
Noma: “
owwsor
ryguys.Ir
eceivedi
tyesterday
.I
cel
ebrat
edwi
thbaeandItotal
l
yf or
gottoinfor
m
you.
”
Lee:“
Idi
dsaythedaysheget
sintoarel
ati
onshi
pwe
wil
lbeathi
ngofthepast
.”Weall
laugh.
Me: “
guysIam goi
ngtoEmpangeninextTuesdayto
thi
sdesignerwhowil
lbedesigni
ngmyoutfi
t.Ihav
e
seenherwor konI
nst
agram andImustsaysheis
good.”
Lee:
“maybeIwil
lcomewi
thy
ou.Iwi
l
lhav
etocl
ear
myschedul
e.”
Noma:“minanobaewehav
efoundourown
desi
gner
.”
Me:
“sasha.
”
Lee: “
sif
elani?”wetal
kmoreandt henwesayour
goodby es.LeedidherMastersandPhDwhilewe
wer edoingourseconddegreeswithNomasoshei s
al
r eadyadoct or,
byprof
essionandbyacademia.I
cont i
nuewi t
hmywor kandIam distur
bedbyat i
ny
knock.IraisemyheadandIam shockedt oseeXoli
standingthere.
Me:
“isi
tal
readyhal
f1?
”
Xol
i:“
yessi
si.
”Igest
urehert
ocomein,shedoes
andsi
tsonthecouch.“
Youhaveabeauti
ful
offi
ce.
”
Me: “
thankyou.FuckImusthavel
ostt
rackoft
ime.
ZAH!”Icall
herandsheappearsonmydoor
secondslat
er.
Zah:
“bossl
ady
.”
Me: “Zanelethi
si sNomxol isi
myhomepersonal
assistantandNomx oli
sit
hisi
sZanel
emywor k
personal assi
stant.Zahy oucanshowherar
ound
whileIfinishupher e.”shenods.
Zah:
“come.
”Xol
ist
andsupandt
heybot
hheadout
.

Iqui
cklyfini
shupandpackmyst uff
.It
akethem and
headout.IfindMabuthoandThobekasi
tt
ingon
chai
rsoutsidemyof fi
ce,
Iam gl
adZahgavethem
chai
rs.Ihandt hem mystuf
fandgocal
lXoli
from
Zah’
sof f
ice.

Me:
“Xol
iwehav
etogo.ZahIwi
l
lseey
out
omor
row
anddoprepar
eforpr
esent
ingt
heBl
ueDi
amond
proj
ect
.”
Zah:
“sur
eboss.
”
XoliandIheadoutt ofi
ndtheguardsalr
eadywaiti
ng
forus.Weallheadt ot
hecar sanddri
vetoTobo
Buzz.Wegett hereandfindexact
lywhyit’
scall
ed
ToboBuzz.Ther earesomanycust omers,al
mostall
thetabl
esaref ul
l.Westandatthedoorandawai t
er
comest ous.
Wait
er:“
goodaft
ernoon.Iam Nqal
abut
ho,
canIget
youatabl
eoffour
?”
Me:“no,Ihav
eanappoi
ntmentwi
tht
heowner
,Mi
ss
Tobo.”
Wait
er:“
it
’sMr s.Tobo.Pl
easefoll
owme, Iwi
llshow
youtoheroff
ice.”Wef ol
l
owhimt otheboss’
sof f
ice.
Wegetthereandf i
ndawomani nherl
ate30s.“Boss
t
hesepeoplehav eanappoint
mentwi t
hyou.”
Tobo:
“Mi
ssCel
eofDCC?
”sher
aisesherey
ebr
ow.
Me:“that
’sme.
”Itur
ntotheguards.“
Youcanwait
out
sideguys.I
twon’
ttakel
ong.”Theynodanddoas
i
nstr
ucted.“
Maywesi t?”sheshowsustheseat
sso
wesitdown.“Iam sur
ey ou’
rewonder
ingwhyIam
her
e.”
Tobo:
“yeah.
”

Me: “Iam anar chitectandmycompanyi sbui l

dinga
newst udi of orBl ueDi amondMusi c.Theywanna
havear estaur anti nsidet hebui l
ding.Theyaskedme
tofindsomeonewhowi llbewi ll
ingt obuildt hei
r
branchi nsidet hei rbui l
ding.Ofcour set hatsomeone
willber enti
ngt ot hem butal mostal ltheoccupant s
ofthebui ldingwi llbeeat ingatt her est aurantsoi t’s
aguar anteet hatt heywon’ tbeshor tofcust omer s.
Whent heycamet omeaboutt hi
s, y oucamei nmi nd.
Iam nott r
yingt ogoal lf
emi nistony oubutIbel iev e
i
nbl ackwomenempower ment .Ify oudon’ tf eelli
ke
thi
si sagoodoppor tunitytoy out henIwi llgiveitto
someoneel se.”

Tobo:“wher
eisthi
sstudi
ogoingt
obebui
l
t?”and
j
ustli
kethat
,Ihavewonher.
Me:
“inAsher
vil
l
e.”
Tobo:
“thisi
sgreatopport
unit
yformet oexpand.
Andseeingt
hatIwi l
lbeworki
ngwithcelebs,Iwil
l
getmoreexposure.Sohowarewedoi ngthis?”
Me:“tomorr
owIhav eameet i
ngwiththeNt uli
Brot
hers.Af
terourmeeti
ngIwi l
lgi
vet hem your
numbersandy ouguyswil
lcommuni catedirect
lyt
o
eachotherwit
houtmeast hemiddlewoman. ”
Tobo: “
thankyoufort
hisoppor
tuni
tyandthankyou
forchoosingme.Somewomenoutt her
ewanttobe
successfulonthei
rown.Theydon’
thelpbui
ldeach
other.Weneedmor ewomenl i
keyouinthi
sworld.
Womenwhof i
xeachother
’scr
ownsnotcrush
them.”
Me:“
thankyousisi
.Iwouldl
ovetostayandhav
e
l
unchbutIcanseethatyou’
requi
tebusysoIwil
lbe
onmyway .
”
Tobo:“
nopleasest
ay.Iwi
l
lhav
eNqal
abut
hosetup
atabl
efory
ou.”
Me:“pl
easemakei
tat
abl
eof5.
”Shenodsand
headsout.
Xoli
:“y
oureal
l
yknowhowt omakesomeonefeel
speci
alsi
sFuthy.Mrs.Toboi
sri
ght
,thewor
ldneed
morewomenl i
key ou.
”

Ijustsmi l
ebecauseIdon’ tl
ikereceivingpraisesf or
somet hingthatshouldbenor malized.Mr s.Tobo
comesbackt otellusthatourtablei sready,we
foll
owherandIt ell
Mabut hotogogetZamokuhl e.
Hel eavesandcomesbackwi thhim.Weset tleinour
tableandor dertoday’
sspecial.Thewai t
erbringsus
drinkswhilewear ewaiti
ngf orourf ood.

Me:
“soar
eyouguy
sinr
elat
ionshi
ps?
”
Mabutho:“
no,Ij
ustbr
okeupwi
thmygi
rl
fr
iend2
weeksback.”
Thobeka:“
wellIhaveababywhosedaddyistheone
st
ayingwit
hher .Myjobi
ssodemandingthatIlet
hi
m staywithherbutImakesur
ethatImaket i
met o
govisi
ther.
”
Zamokuhl
e:“
wel
lIam whaty
oucal
laf
uckboyori
n
mycaseafuckman.”weal
ll
augh.“
IguessIhaven’
t
foundt
heonewhoisgoi
ngtomakemeset t
ledown
andbui
ldafami
l
y.”
Me:“Thobekay oushouldbr
ingy
ourpr
incessatthe
housesomet i
mes.”Shenods.Ourf
oodar r
ivesand
westarteati
ng.Damnt hisf
oodi
ssodelici
ous,
mouth-water
ing.

Aftereatingwegohomeandf i
ndKfussi
ngov era
gif
tbox.Ir el
easetheguar dsandt
ell
them t
oreport
fordutytomor r
owmor ni
ng.Igotomyroom, t
akeoff
mycl othesandwearmyspor tsbr
aandacot t
on
shortswit hf
li
pflops.Iheadbackdownst
air
s.

Me:
“soMr
.Fi
ancédeci
dedt
ospoi
lyou?
”
K:“no,actual
lyt
hisisforyou.
”Shehandsmei t.I
opentheboxandf i
ndabeautiful
diamondnecklace
withmat chi
ngearri
ngs.IseeanotesoItakeitand
readit
.
Me:
“ToMaNdosi
.Il
ovey
ou.Fr
om YourMv
elo.
”I
chuckl
e.Thi
sguydoesn’
tgi
veupneh?
Xol
i
:“soar
eyougoi
ngt
okeepi
t?”
Me: “
yeah.Ican’tletbeaut
if
uldiamondsgoto
waste.”Theylaugh.“AnywaysIam goingswi
mmi ng.
Youcanj oi
nmei fyouwant.”Isayandheadout
thr
ought hebackdoor .

Thesunwasoutt odaysoit’
sal i
ttl
ewar m.Iget
i
nsidetheswimmi ngpoolanddoaf ewl aps.The
wateralwayshaveawayofcal mingdownaper son
andbr i
ngi
nginnerpeace.I
tisanotherform of
meditati
ng.Ihol
dmybr eat
handgounderwat er
.I
stayforabout30secondsbeforeIresurface.

Icont i
nueswi mmi ngandawhi lelaterKandXoli
comebyt hepoolsidewithsnacks.IgetoutandK
handsmeat owel.Idrymy sel
fandsi tononeofthe
pool chai
rs.Weeatt hesnackswhi l
echatti
ng.The
windget scoldsoweheadbacki nside.It
akea
war m bubblebathwhi l
esippingonwhi tewineand
l
isteningtojazz.
Jazzandbubbl ebathsar eat hi
ngf orme.This
whol eMv el
oshithasact uall
ybeenst ressi
ng.Iknow
Imayhav enotshowni tbecauseIhav eburyi
ng
my selfi
nwor kbutMv eloisst r
essing.Iam afrai
d
thatwhenhef inall
yreali
zest hatIam notont he
samepagewi thhim,hemi ghtgopsy choonme.I
hav eseenmov iesofpsy chopathsandIdon’ twanna
enduphav i
ngoneaf terme.Ihopet hathesoon
givesupont hisquestofhi stohav emeashi sequal
.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER10
Sponsor
edbyThul
i
sil
eSi
manga

Thenextmor ni
ngIam wokenupbymyst upi
dri
ng
tone,wel
lit
’snotstupid,
it’
sactual
l
yJessieJ–Igot
youbutwheni tri
ngswaki ngmeupf rom my
slumberthenit
’sstupi
d.Itakemyphoneandanswer
i
twi t
houtevencheckingwhot hecall
eris.

Me:
“what
?”
Lee:“ohhokayyou’
resti
llsleepi
ng,thatmeansy
ou
haven’tseent
oday’
strendingpictur
e.”
Me: “
whattrendi
ngpi
c?”shecl
ear
shert
hroatand
exhal
esloudly.
Lee:
“yourhi
ghschool
nudehasresurf
aced.
Someonemusthavedugdeepforyourinf
ormat
ion.
Al adywhoi sMvel
o’sexistheonewhopost
edit
.”I
takeadeepbr eat
h.May besheisgoi
ngt
osaysheis
kidding.Isi
tupstr
aight
.
Me:
“whatdi
dyouj
ustsayLi
ndel
wa?
”
Lee:“
exactl
ythatFut
hy.Ij
ustcall
edt
ofindouthow
you’
redoing.It
houghtmaybeyouhaveseenthe
post
sandcomment sonsocial
media.
”
Me:“whathaveIdonet odeser
v ethi
s?Whydi d
Mvelohavetocomei ntomylif
eandt ur
nitupsi
de
down?Thisisthefi
nalstr
aw.Doy ouknowhow
manycli
entsIcanloseduet othisstunt
?FUCK!
FUCK!FUCK!”tear
sstream downmycheeksduet o
mixt
ureoftwoemot i
ons:sadnessandanger .
Lee:“
areyougoingtobeokay?Doyouneedmet o
takeadayoffandjustcomeandchi
ll
wit
hy ou?
”I
wipemytears.
Me:“
norelax.Iwi
l
lbefi
ne.Tel
lNomat
ofi
ndMv
elo’
s
numberf
ormeASAP. ”
Lee:
“sure.”Shedr
opsthecall
.Fewminut
esl
ater
NomasendsMv el
o’snumberandIcal
lhi
m
i
mmedi ately
.
Mv
elo:
“goodmor
ningMaNdosi
.”
Me:“goodmor ni
ngMv el
o?Really?What ’
sgood
aboutthi
smor ni
ng?Youwentoutt her
eand
decl
aredyourlovetomel i
keafucki nShakespeare
fanandnowmypr i
vateoldpi
ctureshav eresurf
aced
agai
n.Didyoustopandt hi
nkaboutt he
consequencesofyouracti
onsbef oreactual
lydoing
whatyoudid?Didyouusey ourfuckinbrain?”
Mv
elo:
“wai
twhatar
eyou…?
”
Me: “fuckyouMv elo,y
ouhearme?Fucky ou.Icurse
thedayIl ai
dmyey esony ou.Leav
emet hef uck
alone.Yourpresenceinmyl i
fehasbr
oughtback
painfulmemor i
esandopenedol dwounds.Ifyou
evercomenearmeagai nordoal i
vevi
deoaboutme,
Iwon’ tbeheldresponsibl
eofwhatIwilldotoy ou.”I
endt hecallandscream outloud.

Irememberallt
heshadingIgotafterthatpi
ctur
e
tr
endedinhighschool
.Hereiswhatwentdown.I
wasav er
ysmar tandafastl
earner,whichIsti
ll
am.
Therewasthist
eacherwhowasy oung.Hewasmy
mat hteacher
.HewashandsomebutIdi dn’tdate
teachersandhealsosawmeasj ustalearner.He
wouldgi v
emeext r
aworkandsomet i
meswewoul d
staylateandhe’
dhelpmepract
icemat h.

Hehadmanyadmi r
ersandmanygi rl
swerefurious
thathespentsomuchofhi stimewi t
hme.Atsome
pointtheyev enspreadrumorsaboutusdating.They
reportedust otheheadmistr
essbuttherewasn’ tany
proofsot hecasewasdi smissed.Ipl
ayedsports
backt hen,netbal
ltobeexact,sother
ewast hisone
ti
meatt hechangingroomswher eItookoffallmy
clothes.Ididn’
thavetheconfi
denceIhavenow
aboutmybodybackt hen.

Theyt ookapictur
ewhi leIwasst i
ll
nakedandI
didn’tnot
ice.Thenextmor ningwhenIcamet o
school ki
dswer egiv
ingmewei rdstares.Af r
iendof
mi neshowedmet hepictur
eandIf ainted.Iwokeup
i
nt hesickroom andmypar entswer ethere.They
tr
iedget t
ingtothebottom ofthisandt ogetherwit
h
mymat hteachertheyfinal
lyfoundwhopost edthe
pi
cture.Althoughshewassuspended, t
hedamage
wasal r
eadydoneandIwasal readysubjectedto
bodyshami ng.Ibecamesodepr essedthatmy
parentstookmet otherapy
.Af t
eral otofsessionsI
fi
nall
ystartedt oacceptmy sel
fandmybody .

Thepi ct
ur einci
dentmayhav ehumi l
iatedmebut
thatwast hef ir
stst ept ogai ningt hesel fconfi
dence
thatIneeded.Af terthatapol icywasi mplement edat
school t
hatwhoev ert akesandpost snudesof
anotherfellowl earnerwoul dbeexpel l
ed
i
mmedi ately.Mypar ent swer ether eformet hrough
i
tall.Igott oseemyf at her
’saf fecti
onat eside.They
suppor t
edmeandshowedmel ov ewhenIneededi t
.
Ireall
ythoughtt hepi cturewasat hingoft hepast
butclearlyIwaswr ong.Whoev erpost editwi l
lface
l
egal consequences.It akemyphoneandt extNoma
tel
li
nghert hatIwantwhoev erthatpost edthepi c
fi
rsttobesuedf orinv asionofpr i
vacy .
Igetup,makemybedandgot akeashower .Af
ter
shower i
ngandbr ushingmyt eet hIheadt omy
cl
oset.Iwearmybl ackturtl
eneck, blackhighwai st
j
eans, bl
ackandwhi t
eol dschool vansandaknee
l
engthbl ackcoat .Icombmyhai rstr
aightandwear
myv ansbuckethat .Itakemywor kst uff,
phoneand
headdownst air
s.Ifindtheguar ds,driverandmy
housemat eseat ingbreakfast.Iputmyst uffint
he
counteraftergreetingthem andsi tont hebar st
ool.
Khandsmeabl ackcupofcof fee.Ihav ebeen
stayi
ngwi thherf or5y earssosheknowswhatt o
givemeaccor dingtomymoods.

Aft
erfinishingmycupofcof feeweheadt owor k.
Wef i
ndmor ejournal
istst hany est
erdayatt hef
r ont
door.Justlikeyester
dayIi gnorethem andgetinsi de
mybui l
ding.Wegett ot hepr i
vateelevatorandhead
tomyof fice.Theguar dsputmyst uf fonmydesk
andast heyt ur
ntowal koutIst opthem.

Me:
“theonl
ypeopl
eyouwi
l
lal
l
owt
omyof
fi
cet
oday
aremyempl oyeesonly,nooutsi
der
s.”Theynodand
getout.Myoffi
cephoner i
ngsandIansweri
t.
“Ntombif
uthiCelespeakinghowmayIhel pyou?
”
Mom:“
Lwandlel
ethuareyouokay
?”shehasseen
t
hepi
ctur
eIguess.Somethi
nginhervoi
cemakes
mesoemoti
onalthatIf
indmysel
fsni
ffi
ng.
Me:“Iwil
lbefi
nemom.Ihav edealtwit
hthisbefore
andIcameoutstronger.Don’tworryy
ourselfabout
me.”shekeepsquietf
orawhi le.
Mom:
“youknowwhat
?That
’si
t,Iam comi
ng.
”
Me:“nomom pleaseIwil
lbefi
ne.Iwi
ll
tel
lLel
e’
s
publ
ici
sttodealwi
ththi
sandNomai sgoi
ngtosue
whoeverpost
edthepict
ure.
”
Mom: “
okay.I
fyouneedmeIwi
l
lcomet
her
e
whenever
.”
Me:“
thanksmom.Igot
tago.By
e.”Ihangupandsi
t
downonmychair
.

Ibowmyheadandt akedeepbr
eathst
ryi
ngt
o
cont
rol
myemotions.Thedoorfl
i
esopenandwhenI
rai
semyheadIseeuNdosi omkhulustandinginthe
middleofmyoffi
ce.Hedoesn’ tsayanythi
ng,inst
ead
hejustopenshi
sar msandIr ushtohughi m.He
brushesmybackandIj ustcrysil
ent
ly.Aft
erawhi leI
stopcryi
ngandhel eadsmet othecouchinsidethe
offi
ce.Webothsitandhehol dsmeclose.

Dad: “uwuNdosi wena.Youar estrongerthany ou

thi
nk.Youar esuccessf ulandindependent .Youar e
beaut i
fulwithall yourflaws.Manywoul dkillt
ohav e
abodyl i
key ours.Whoev erthatpublishesnegat i
ve
stuffabouty ouisjustjealous.Youar eoneoft he
ri
chestwomenonMz ansi.EvenIam j eal
ousofy ou
somet imes. ”Igiggle.“That’
swhatIwant edt ohear.
Don’twor ryabouty ourcompany .Thiswon’ tmake
youl oseclients.Youdi dn’tpubli
sht hisyoursel
f
i
ntent i
onall
y .Ifyouar eafraidoflosingthem then
organizeapr essconf erenceandsett herecord
strai
ght .
”
Me:“t
hanksdaddy
.Idon’
tknowwhatI
’
ddowi
thout
you.
”
Dad:“
you’
dpr obabl
ybenon-exi
stenti
fitwasn’
tfor
mypowerfulsperm.”Ibur
stoutl
aughingandhealso
l
aughsinhisdeepvoice.
Me:
“Ican’
tbel
i
evey
ouj
ustsai
dthat
.”
Dad:
“Ij
ustwant
edy
out
oloosenupmypr
incess.I
l
oveyou.
”
Me:“
IloveyoutooDubandl
ela.
”Hepl
ant
sasoftki
ss
onmyf or
ehead.Hest
andsupandIal
sostandup.
Dad:
“IguessIwi
l
lseey
out
omor
rowt
hen.
”
Me:“y
eah.
”Hehugsmeoncemor eandthel
eaves.
Af
terafewsecondsThobekapeepsi
nthedoor
.
Thobeka: “
damnbossy ourf
atheri sint
enseand
scary
.”Ilaughoutl
oud.Manypeopl ehavesaidthat
befor
e.Mydadi snotscaryi
t’
sj ustthathecarri
es
himselfwithdi
gni
tyandhardl
yt alkstopeoplehe
doesn’tknow.Kahl
e-kahl
eakafuni ukuj
wayelwa.
Me:
“leav
emydadal
onet
uh.
”Shel
aughsandcl
oses
t
hedoor.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Aft
erseeingFuthy
’snude,
Kuhleknewt hathehadto
dosomet hi
ng.Hecall
edhisy
oungersisterwhoisa
hacker
.Heknewt hatduetot
hediffer
enttimezones
shemightnotanswerthecal
lbutl
uckil
yshe
answered.

Li
sa:“
thi
sbett
erbeimpor
tantKuhl
e.It
oldy
ounott
o
cal
lmeinthemorni
ng.
”Kuhlesi
ghed.
Kuhl
e:“Iwoul
dn’
tbecal
l
ingy
oui
fitwasn’
t
i
mportant.
”
Li
sa:
“what
ever
.Sowhatdoy
ouwant
?”
Kuhl
e:“someonepostedanudeoffri
endofmineon
soci
almedia.Ineedyoutodel
etet
hatpi
ctur
eandtr
y
del
eti
ngitonev er
ydevi
ce.”
Li
sa:
“whati
sshet
oyou?
”
Kuhl
e:“
afr
iend.
”
Li
sa:
“youdon’
thav
efemal
efr
iendsKuhl
e.”
Kuhl
e:“
arey
ougoi
ngt
odot
hisornot
?”hesai
das
hewasst
art
ingt
ogetangr
y.
Li
sa:“
fi
ne,fi
ne.Iwi
l
ldoi
t.Justsendmeher
i
nfor
mation.
”
Kuhle:“
done.Pleasedot hi
sASAP.”Hedidn’
twai
t
forhertorespond,hejustdr
oppedthecal
landsent
herFuthy’
sinformati
on.
.
.
Mv el oontheot hersideoft ownf elthorri
bleforthe
attent i
onhebr oughtFut hy.Hewi shedhehadn’ t
donewhathedi dandmay behe’dst il
lhadachance.
Hewi shedhehadn’ tl
istenedtohi sfri
endsbecause
i
tlookedl i
keev enthedi amondsdi dn’
tsoftenFut hy
buti nsteadmadeherev enmad.Whatwashe
thinkingbuy i
ngdi amondsf orawomanwho
probabl yhasev erythi
ng?Af terthemor ni
ngphone
call hecouldheart hatshewasf edupandwant ed
not hingtodowi t
hher .Butgivingupwasn’ toneof
hisst rongesttr
aits.Hej ustdecidedt olaylowf ora
whi leandwi l
lcont i
nuepur suingheraf terallt
hishas
dieddown.
*
**BACKTOFUTHY*
**
Zahcomest omyof ficetotell
met hatt
heNt uli
brothershav ear r
ived.Iam onlygoingtothemeet ing
toov ersee.ItakemyphoneandTobo’ sbusiness
cardandputt hem i nmypocket .ZahandIbot hhead
toboar droom 1andt heguardsfol
lowsus.Wegett o
thepr i
vateelev at
oranddescendt othe1stfloor.The
elev
at oropensandweal l
stepout.Whil
ewal king
downt hecorridorsomeonej umpsmel andingonmy
backandwr apshi sl egsaroundmywai st.Igiggl
e.
Therei sonlyoneper soninmyl if
ewhoi sthis
chil
dish.

Me:“
Sibulel
emann.
”Ir
epr
imandhi
m andhelaughs
i
nmyear .Hecl
i
mbsdownandwrapshisar
ms
ar
oundmyshoulder
s.
Lel
e:“
Imissedy oubigsi
s.”It
urnt
ofacehi
m and
gi
vehim aproperhug.
Me:
“Imi
ssedy
out
ool
i
lbr
o.”hehugsZah.
Lel
e:“
longt
imenoseeMaZandy
.”
Zah:
“it
’sMaZetwenaman.MaZandyi
sZandi
l
e.
Howmanyt i
mesdoIhavetotel
lyout
his?
”
Lele:“
wellthat
’sthesameshittome.”Zahrol
l
sher
eyesandget sinsi
detheboar
droom.“Andwhoi s
thi
ssexymamasi ta?
”hesayslooki
ngatThobeka
whilebit
inghisli
p.
Thobeka:“
callmemamasitaonemor eti
meandI
wil
lcrushyourbal
l
s.”Shesay
si nherscr
atchyvoi
ce.
Lel
ebecomesser i
ousinst
ant
ly.Il
aughquietl
y.
Me:“
Sibul
elet
hesearemybodyguardsThobekaand
Mabut
ho.Guysthi
sismyli
tt
lebrot
herSibul
ele.
”
Mabut ho:“ni
cetomeety ouman.”Lelenodsand
clearshisthr
oat.Icanseethathetookthebal
ls
threatseri
ously
.
Me: “
Thobekay oucant el
lhi
m nowt hatyouwere
j
oking.”Thobekalaughsandt el
lshi
mt hatshewas
j
oking.Hef i
nal
lyloosenup.“Soarey ougoi
ngto
at
tendt hemeeting?Areyouev enal
lowedto?”
Lel
e:“mysist
eristheowneroft
hiscompanyandthe
Ntul
ibrot
hersaremybuddiessoIam all
owed.
”Ir
oll
myey esandgetinsi
detheboar
droom andhe
f
oll
ows.Theguar
dsst
ayatt
hedoor
.

Me:
“sor
ryIam l
ateguy
s.”Isayshaki
ngt
hei
rhands.
Yandisa:“
noprobl
em.MissZanel
ehasal
ready
st
artedthepr
esentat
ion.
”
Me: “okaythenconti
nueZah.
”Shecont
inues
presentingandaft
ersheisdonet
hebrother
sgi
ve
outcompl ements.
Yandisa:“
soFuthydi
dyoufindarest
aur
antowner?
”
Itakeoutthebusi
nesscar
df r
om mypocketand
handittohim.
Me: “
shewill
beexpectingyourcall
.Youshouldgo
checkoutherrest
auranti
nDur banNort
h.Yoht he
foodther
eissodelici
ousyouwi l
lbeli
cki
ngy our
fi
ngersal
ltheway.”
Sakhile:
“wewi llsur
elypasstherewhenwegot
ti
me. ”Weal l
standupandt heot her
sheadoutbut
Sandiledoesn’tgetoutinst
eadhecomesand
standsinfrontofme.Hescr atcheshishead.
Sandil
e:“
areyouokay
?Isawthepict
ure.Ij
ust
wantedtoknowhowy ouhol
dingup.
”
Me:“t
hanksf
oraski
ng.Iam okay
.”Hecl
ear
shi
s
t
hroat
.
Sandi l
e:“
ehm Fut hyIknowt hi
sisn’tthebestti
met o
sayt hi
sbutIr eal
lyli
keyou.Iam notgoodwi th
wor dsbutwhatIknowi sthatIli
key ouandI ’
dli
kea
chancet ogett oknowy oubetter.Iam notrushing
you.Youcant akeyourtime.Wheny ouarereadyto
givemeachancey oucangi vemeacal l
.”WowI
didn’tseethiscoming.Itakeoutmyphoneandgi ve
i
tt ohim.Hedi alshisnumberandsav esitonhis
phoneandt hengivesmebackmyphone.
Me:
“IguessIwi
l
lseey
ouar
ound.
”
Sandil
e:“yeah.Bef
oreIl
eavecanIgetahug?It
’s
part
ial
lyformeasi ti
sfory
ou.WhenIam feel
ing
downahugal wayshel
pssomay bei
tmightcomfor
t
you.
”Ilaugh.Whatawayofaskingforahug.
Me:“sur
eSandi
le.
”Heopenshi sarmsformeand
wehugeachother.Thehuglast
slongerthani
t
shoul
d.Wefi
nall
ybreakitwhenwecanf eelot
her
emoti
onsri
sing.Webot hgetoutoftheboardr
oom
andfi
ndever
y onewaiti
ngoutside.Goodt
hingthe
boar
droomsar esoundproof.

Lel
e:“
whatwer
eyouguy
stal
ki
ngabout
?”
Me:“askmesomet hi
ngthatdoesn’
tconcer
ny ou
agai
nandIwi l
lal
lowThobekatocrushyourball
s.”
Ever
yonelaughs.
Sakhi
l
e:“
sohernamei
sThobeka?
”heaskswi
ggl
i
ng
hi
seyebr
ows.
Me:“onepunchfrom herwi
ll
sendyoust
rai
ghtt
o
ER.
”Hisfaci
alexpressi
onchanges.
Sakhil
e:“pl
easebemybody guard.Iwi
llpayyou3
ti
mest hemoneyFuthyispayingyou,j
ustforthe
vi
ews.”Hel i
ckshi
sli
ps.Wel aughandThobeka
stepsforwardt
owardshim,hetakes2st epsback
andwel aughhyst
eri
cal
ly.
Thobeka:“
pussy.
”Wesayourgoodby
esandt
he
Ntul
ibrot
hersl
eave.It
urnt
oLel
e.
Me:
“Sowher
ear
eyouheadedt
onow?
”
Lel
e:“Iam goi
ngtol
unchwi
tht
hem thenaf
tert
hatI
am goinghome.Iwi
l
lcometoyourpl
aceaf
tert
he
weekend.”
Me: “that
’sf
air.SoIguessIwi l
lseeyout
omor r
ow
then.”Wehugandhel eaves.Zah,t
heguardsandI
got omyof f
ice.

Leeasksmei fwear est i

ll
goingt oZimbaliandItell
hert hatweshoul dpost ponet onextweek.She
repli
esbysay ingsheunder stands.Iviewthe
designsoft hePMBBr i
dget hatBobl efti
nmyof fi
ce.
Theyar eprettygoodbutImakeaf ewnot eswhereI
canseet hati fhecont i
nueswi ththis,t
hebridge
mi ghtcol l
apsewi thin5y earsafterithasbeenbuilt
.I
callhimt omyof ficeandgi vehim mynot es.He
takest hem t oget herwi t
hthedesi gnsandheadsout .
Lindsaybr ingsmel unchper sonall
ywhi chis
somet hi
ngnew, hepl acesitonmydeskandsi t
son
thev isit
ors’chair .

Li
ndsay
:“babesur
ytkodwa?Iknowt
hat
’sast
upi
d
questi
onbutIf elttheneedt ocheckupony ou.I
wanty outoknowt hatIcar eandIam her eforyou.
Anyway sIfoundwhopost edt hepicandi t’
s
Shamase’ sexfiancé.Likebi tchyoucheat ed,what
doyouwantf r
om Shamase’ snext?”Ilaugh.Ineed
peopleli
ket hi
swhowi llmakemel augh.“Plusshe
hasdryandwhi t
eankl es,Imeanwehav eDawni n
SouthAf r
icawhi chischeapandy enauzosphaphela
whereasshecan’ tevenaffordacheapbodyl oti
on.
”I
l
aughandshakemyhead.
Me: “
shemi ghthavepost edmynudebutt hat
doesn’tgiv eany oneareasont oshadeher .Iam
goingtogetbackathert hel egalwaynotbyshadi ng
herli
keshedi dtome.Idon’ tlikebodyshami ng
otherwomen, ifyouhavet witt
edaboutherdr yand
whiteankl espl easedeletethatpost .Iam nota
rapper,Idon’ tclapback.”Hel ooksatmei ndisbel
i
ef.
“Iappreciatey oursupportbutIcur rentlyneed
emot i
onal suppor tnow.”
Li
ndsay:“
Iheary
ouandyouaret
ooki
nd.Theworl
d
needsmorewomenlikey
ou.Any
waysher
eisyour
l
unch,enj
oy.
”Heleav
es.
Ieatmyl unchandaf terIam doneIcontinue
working.At15:30Ipackmyt hingsandexitmyof f
ice.
Igiv
emyst ufftotheguards.Weheadhome.Af ter
putt
ingmybagsi nmyst udytheyleave.Igot omy
room, t
akeawar m shower,dryandloti
onmybody
thenwearmyt hongandputmysi lkygownont op
andsleepers.Itakemyphoneandmybi gt eddybear
andheaddownst air
s.Iam goingtocuddlewi thit.

Isitandt heloungecuddlingwithmyt eddyand

wat chingMi raculousTalesofLady bugandCatNoi r
cartoons.Theyal waystakemymi ndoffthi
ngs.The
frontdooropensandmy2bestf ri
endswalkin
carryinglotsoff oodandbags.Theyputt hefoodin
thekit chen,goupst ai
rstoputtheiroverni
ghtbags
thereandcomebackwi thwineandgl asses.They
pourt hewi neandwest artdr
inking.

Noma: “
Mar i
net
te’scrushonAdrienremi
ndsmeof
Lee’
scrushonLele.”Weal l
laugh.Nomaisri
ght
,Lee
wasjustli
keMarinett
e.Thefactthatmybrot
her
’s
si
ngingcar
eerst
artedwhenhewassti
llinhigh
schooli
swhatmadehim seem l
i
keanadultwhi l
ehe
wasstil
lat
eenagerandthati
swhatat
tractedLee
mosttoher.
Lee:“l
eavemeal
onetuh.”Shepoutsandl
ookt
he
otherwayandweconti
nuelaughi
ngather
.

Wecont inuet
easi
ngeachot
herandrememberi
ng
abouttheoldday
s.Wearedi
stur
bedbythebel
lfr
om
thefr
ontdoor.
Noma:“gi
veoursur
pri
seguestashowandopent
he
doorwi
thyourgownunti
ed.
”
Lee:
“yeaht
hatwil
lteacht
hem nott
ocomet o
someone’
shouseunannounced.
”Il
aughandshake
myhead.
Me:
“youguy
sar
ecr
azy
.”
Noma: “
comeon,weknowy
ouwannadoi
tand
you’
regoingt
odoit
.”
Me:
“what
ever
.”Ist
andupandunt
iemygown.
Lee:
“that
’swhatIam t
alki
ngabout
.”
Noma:
“leav
ethegownbehi
nd.
”Il
aughather
.
Me: “
nowyou’reoversteppi ng.”Iwearmysl eeper
s
andheadtothef r
ontdoor .Iopent hedoorand
fr
eezewhenIseewhoi sther e.Hiseyespopoutand
hisj
awsdropt othefloorwhenheseesmyhal f
nakedbody.Ifi
nall
yunf reezeandt i
emygown.
“OMG!Whatt hefuckar ey oudoi nghere?”

Kuhle:“
Icamet oseehowy ou’r
edoing.Iwentto
youroff
iceandt heytol
dmey oulef
t.Aren’
tyou
goingtoallowmei n?”heasksinani nnocentvoi
ce
asifhehasn’ tjustseenmynakednessami nuteago.
“Youhav eani cebodybytheway .
”Irollmyeyesand
stepasidesot hathecangeti n.Icl
oset hedoorand
l
eadhimt othel ounge.

Me:“guyst
hisistheuni
nvit
edguestanduninvit
ed
guestt
hesearetheinvi
tedguest
s.”Theyal
llaugh.
Noma:“
arey
out
ell
i
ngmet
haty
oushowedhi
m
t
he…?”
Lee:
“wow.
”Theyl
aughoutl
oud.
Me: “
youcansitwhi l
eIgety ousomet hi
ngtodr i
nk.”
Henodsandsi tsdown.Igot othekitchenandt ake
outabottl
eofflyingfi
sh, Iopeni tandal sotakea
fewsnacksthatmyf riendsbr ought.Igobackt ot he
l
oungeandf i
ndt heset hreelaughinglikeoldbuddi es.
IhandKuhlethedumpy .“Wel ly
ourmaj est
yIdon’t
haveCastl
eLitebutIt hinkthiswi l
ldo.”Hesmi les
andtakeit
.

Kuhle:“
thankyou.”Isitbackt
omyor iginal
place.
“SoIcall
edmysi sterandaskedhertoremov eyour
pict
urefrom mostoft hedevi
cesandf r
om thenet.
Shedidit.”Nomat akesoutherphoneandchecksi f
whathei ssayi
ngist rue.
Noma:“OMGheisr i
ght.Ther
eisnot
raceofy
our
pi
ctur
eanywher
e.”IlookatKuhl
e.
Me:
“thanky
ouf
ordoi
ngt
his.Butwhat
’st
hecat
ch?
”
Kuhl
e:“
ther
eisnocat
ch.
”
Me:
“comeon.Youcandobet
tert
hant
hat
.”
Kuhle: “
Ihadaf emal efriendinhighschool.Shewas
verybeaut i
ful andkindandf r
iendlybutshewasal so
gull
ible.Shedat edtheschool ’
spl ayboyandhe
brokeherv i
rginity
.Hemadeasext apeofherfirst
night.Hesenti ttohisf ri
endsandhi sfri
endstot hei
r
girl
fr
iends.Soonaf terthewhol eschool hadseeni t.
Shecoul dn’ttaket hecr it
icsver
ywel lsoshe
drownedher self.Ididn’twantthesamet hi
ngto
happent oyou.Nowomanshoul dhaveher
nakednessdi splayedt othewhol ewor l
dwithouther
consent .That’sv i
olati
onofpr ivacyonanotherlev el
.”
Leesni ffsandwel ookather .

Lee:“Ihadateenagecl ientjustli
keher2y earsago.
Thesamet hi
nghappenedt oher.Shetri
ed
commi tti
ngsuicidemanyt imesbutIguessGod
wasn’treadytohav eher .Peoplecanbesocr uelout
ther
e.Theydon’ tunderst andhowpai ntheyinfl
icton
anindivi
dualwhenshar ingt hei
rnakednesst othe
world,especi
all
ywhent hepi ct
ures/v
ideoareshar ed
bysomeoney out r
usted.”
Me:“
thanky
ouKuhl
e.Nomat
her
ewon’
tbeaneedt
o
suet
hatwoman.
”
Noma:
“but
…”
Me:“noNoma.Iwil
ldoali
vevi
deotomorrow
addr
essi
ngthi
sissueandiwi
l
lstaythef
uckaway
fr
om Mvel
o.”

Kuhl
estaysforal
i
ttl
ewhileandthenl
eav
es.We
cont
inuewit
hourl
adies’
nighti
n.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER11

Currentl
yIam par ki
ngout sidemychi l
dhoodhomei n
Mor ni
ngside.Iam dreadinggoi nginsidebecauseI
havetobei nonepl acewi thmysi sters.Earl
ieronI
di
dt heliv
ev ideoandittrended.Someoneupl oaded
i
tonYouTubeandanot herpost editonLadi es
House.Ther esponseIgotf rom womenal loverthe
countrywasv erywarm andcomf or
tingandIwas
happyt odiscoverthatIam ar olemodel t
omany
gi
rlsandev eny oungwomenoutt here.

Thi
sishowt
hel
i
vev
ideowent
:

Me:“morni
ngguys.Iam Nt
ombif
uthi
Cel
eandIam a
chubbyandthi
ckwoman.Ihav
ebeenchubbysi
nce
bir
th.Ihav enev erbeenslim.Mypar entsand
brothersshowedmel oveandsuppor tasmyf ami l
y.
Iam pr oudofwhoIam andIl ovemybody .Thisis
notthef ir
stt i
meanudeofmi nehast r
endedandI
haver eceivedi nsult
sandshami ng.WhenIwasst i
ll
i
nhi ghschool thisverysamenudet rended.Byt hat
ti
meIwasn’ tthisconfidentaboutmybody .”

“Ihidmy selffrom t hewor ldbecauseIwasashamed

ofmybodybackt henandIwashumi l
iated.Ittooka
l
otoft herapyf ormet oacceptwhoIam.I fIwas
weakIwoul d’vecommi tt
edsui cideort urnedt o
drugst onumbt hepai n.Wheny oupostsomeone
else’sprivatephot osy oudon’ tonlyhumi l
iat
et hem
buty oudegr adet hem andy ouract i
onsmayr esulti
n
thev icti
m sel f-
harmi ngt hemsel ves.Ij
ustwantt o
openy ourmi ndsguy stothis.Thev ict
imsar ealso
someone’ ski d.Ifwhaty oudocanbedonet oyour
child,woul dy oul i
ket hat?Stophumi li
atingot her
peopl ebyshar ingt heirpri
vatephot osandsext apes.
Firstl
yy oumayf acel egalaction.Secondl ythat
per sonmaycommi tsuicide.Woul dtaking
someone’sli
femakey oufeelbetter
?Becausei
fthe
vict
im woul
dkil
lthemselvesbecauseofyouract
ions
thenthatwoul
dmeany oukil
l
edt hem.”

“Pleasestopthatandst opbodyshamingwomen.
From petit
ewoment ochubbywomen, al
lsi
zes,al
l
races.Stopthat.I
t’
snotgood.Iloveyouall
,fr
om
Futhy.”Iendeditl
ikethat.

Any waysIopent hegat ewi thmyr emoteanddr i

ve
i
nside.Itakemyov er
ni ghtbagandheadi nsidethe
houseaf t
erl ockingthecar .Iopenthefrontdoorand
getin.Ifi
rstgoputmybagi nmyr oom whi chis
downst ai
rsandheadt ot hereIassumeev eryonei
s
whichisint helivingroom.Igr eetever
yoneandhug
them.Hugswi t
hmysi stersar eawkwardasal ways.
Isitdownnextt oGcinokuhl e.

Gci
nokuhl
e:“
youarebecomi
ngacelebli
keLele.You
ar
eevenamot i
vat
iont
omostpeople.Youhaveso
manypeopl
elooki
nguptoyou.Iam aproudbi
g
br
other
.”Weal
ll
aughathi
slastst
atement
.

Dad:“
IdidsayIhav
epowerf
ulsper
ms.Al
thoughI
don’
tknowwantwentwrongwit
hyou.
”Wecontinue
l
aughing.

Mom: “It
hinkmyeggsar etheonemor epowerf
ul.
”
Sheboastsandfat herlaughsatherwithhisdeep
voi
ceandper ksherlips.Theyhav ebeenmarri
edfor
over30yearsbuttheyar est i
l
lheadoverheel
sin
l
ovewi t
heachot her,somet hi
ngIwantwhenIf i
nall
y
sett
ledown.

Busi
:“whenar
eyougoi
ngt
ogetmar
ri
ed?
”sheasks
l
ooki
ngatme.
Me:“areyousuf
fer
ingf
rom asi
cknessor
something?
”
Busi
:“whatdoy
oumean?
”
Me: “
Ijustwanttoknowwhereithurt
siny
ourbody
becauseofmyr elat
ionshi
pst
atus.
”
Nothando:“It
hinky oushoul
d’vegi
vent
hesoccer
play
erachance.Theguybasi call
ydecl
aredhislov
e
foryouinpubli
c.Hei stheonl
yonewhol ovesyou
enoughtodot hat.Wheredoy outhi
nkyouwillf
ind
anotheroneli
kehi m?”

Busi
:“Thandoi
sright
.Shamaseseemedser i
ous
aboutyouandyouplayedwi
thyourchances.
”
Mom: “
Thandowhatdoesy
oursist
er’
slov
elif
ehas
todowithyou?
”shel
ooksdown.“Howoldis
Lwandl
elet
hu?”
Not
hando:
“29”
Mom:
“andy
ou?
”
Not
hando:
“21”

Mom: “
nowwi t
hthathugeagedi f
fer
ence,what
makesyout hi
nkyoucant al
ktoheraboutherlov
e
l
ifewheny oudon’
tev enknowhowherl if
eisli
ke?
Bothofyoutreatyoursist
erli
keastrangerbut
you’
requicktohaveopinionsaboutherrel
ati
onship
status.WenaBusi ngobay ou’
reol
der,howwould
youf eeli
fLwandlelet
huandNot handowerecl
ose
andt reat
edyouthewayy outr
eather?”si
l
ence
spreadsoutthewhol eroom.

Dad:“wearenother
ef orthatbecauseifwewer eto
star
ttal
ki
ngaboutyoursisterhoodwewon’ ttal
k
aboutwhatthi
smeetingisabout .Ireal
l
ydon’tknow
whyy outwothi
nkyou’r
ebet t
ert hanyoursi
ster
.Only
Godknows.”Mom exhalesoutl oud.

Mom: “
thewayy ou’r
esodi sr
espectf
ul Nothando,I
wouldn’tevenbotherdoingumemul of oryouifIwas
youronlysurvivi
ngparent.
”Mom nev erstopsonce
shestartsbutitwon’tmakeanydi f
ferencebecause
herkidswillconti
nuebeingbit
chytowar dsme.

Dad: “
cal
m downst handwasami.”Hesays
caressi
ngmom’ scheekandshesi ghs.Onlyhehas
thepowert ocont
rolherbut
tons.“Anywaysweare
heretodiscussumemul okaNothando.Sinceyou
threeareworki
ng,
”hesayspoi
nti
ngatBusi,
Lel
eand
I
, “
whatwi l
lyoubecont
ri
but
ingbecauset
hecow,
groceryandthecat
eri
ngwil
lbecomingfr
om meand
umkami ?”

Me:“
Iwi
llbuyt
hebooze,hir
ethetentswhi
chwill
i
ncl
udet
hechair
sandtables,mobil
etoi
let
s,2col
d
r
oomsanddécor.
”
Lel
e:“
Iwi
llbuyt
hegoatsneededf
ort
hewhol
e
cer
emony
,howmanyv ele?
”
Dad:
“thr
ee.
”
Lel
e: “
yesthreegoats,Iwil
lalsohi
ret
heprogram
di
rectorforthesecondsessionaswellasall
the
enter
tainmentforthatdayandalsoorgani
zea
photographer.
”
Nothando:
“wil
lyoual
sobr
ingKeel
a?”Keel
ais
Sakhil
e’
sstagename.
Lel
e:“
any
thi
ngf
ory
oupr
incess.
”Shesmi
l
es.
Busi:
“Iwi
l
lhir
eimv unul
ofort
hel
adi
eswhowil
lbe
danci
ngwithyou.Iwil
lal
sobuyy
ouaweaveandt
he
whol eout
fi
tforsecondsessi
on.Iwi
ll
alsodoy our
makeup. ”shehugshersist
erandIam temptedto
rollmyeyesbutuNdosi omkhul
uwouldl i
ter
all
y
pluckthem out
.

Gci
no:“
andIwil
lbeguardi
ngthecol
droomswi
th
myli
fe.
”Weall
laughathim.
Dad:
“youcoul
dn’
tkeepqui
etneh?
”
Gcino:“
Iwast emptedt
obutmyi nnervoicewasl i
ke
‘
nahman, that’
snotwhoyouare’andIlistened.
”We
conti
nuelaughinganddadshakeshisheadwhi l
e
chuckl
ing.
Nothando:“
soobabomncanewon’
tcont
ri
but
e
any
t hi
ng?”

Me: “asyoucanseeThandoal lthecost shav ebeen

covered.Iftheywannacont r
ibutetheywi l
ljustcome
nesphekoj ustforcont
rolbutothert hanthatwe
don’tneedot herpeopl
e’scontri
butionsjusttheir
presencenj ebezokuni
kaimal i
.”
Dad:“
shei
sri
ghtThando.
”Thandonodsandl
ooks
down.
Me:“
sowil
lther
ebeumkhweny
anawhom wemust
pr
epar
eforonyourday
?”
Dad:
“hhayumkhweny
anawani
?”
Me:“dadgi
rl
susual
l
yshowt hei
rboyfr
iendstothei
r
f
amili
esonthi
spart
icul
arev
ent,youknowt hat
moss.”
Dad:
“hhay
-hhay
”heshakeshi
sheadr
epeat
edl
y.
Gcino:“daddydoesn’
twannaseehi sli
tt
lepr
incess
growwi ngs.”Hesaysthatsi
tti
ngattheedgeofthe
couchbecauseheknowst hatther
eisahuge
possibil
it
ythatdadmightattackhi
m.Dadattempt s
tostandupandGci norunsoutoft her
oom l
eav i
ng
usalllaughi
nghard.
Dad:
“ngi
zokut
hol
awenaGci
nokuhl
e.”

Thehousekeepercal
lsustothedi
ninghall
because
di
nneri
sready.Weal lheadt
hereandGcinoal
so
comes.Weeatwhi l
etalki
ngmoreaboutumemul o.
ThandoandBusi seem alit
tl
eni cebutIknowhow
theycanbesoIdon’ tnoti
cethem.Wef i
nisheating
andthenwecatchup.Af terthatIheadtomyr oom,
takeashower,wearmyni ghtdr essandgetunder
coverswit
hmyphonei nmyhand.Myphoner ings,I
checkthecal
l
erandIcanseet hatit
’sSandi
le.I
answerandkeepqui et.

Sandi
le:
“Iknowt
hatIsaidIwi
l
lwai
tfory
ourcal
lbut
Icoul
dn’
t.Howar
ey ou?”
Me:
“Iam good,
howar
eyou?
”
Sandi
l
e:“
Iam okay
.Howwasy
ourday
?”
Me:“
justanor
malday
.”Youcant
ell
bythesoundof
hi
svoicet
hathei
ssomehownerv
ous.
Sandi
le:“
canItakeyououtonadateanydaynex
t
week?”Ikeepquietf
orawhil
ethenIdeci
deto
answer.
Me:
“Wednesdayni
ghtIam f
ree.
”
Sandi
l
e:“
cool
then,
that
’sawesome.
”
Me:
“ar
en’
tyousupposedt
obei
nJHB?
”
Sandi
le:
“no.Iwil
lseeyout
hen.AndIlov
ethesound
ofyourvoi
ce,i
t’
ssoothi
ng.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“fl
att
erywon’
tgety
ouany
wher
e.”
Sandi
l
e:“
youst
il
loweme.
”
Me:
“what
?”
Sandi
le:
“si
ngi
ng.Youpr
omi
sedmeandmybr
other
s
thaty
ouwil
lsi
ngforus.
”
Me:
“ohhokay
.”
Sandi
le:
“sowhenareyougoingt osi
ngforme?”I
cl
earmyt hr
oatandst
artsi
nging.Idon’
tli
keowi
ng
peopl
e.
Me:“inhl
i
ziyo, i
yophuka,Iwonderubuzophelel
aphi,
ubuzi
phelelaphiukubeusaphila,Iwonder
ubuzophelelaphi
,besizophel
elaphiukubeusaphi
la.
”
Sandi
l
e:“
wow, wow,wow.Iam i
mpressed.Wehav
e
todoatl
eastonet
rackpl
ease.
”Igi
ggle.
Me:“
ifsi
ngi
ngwasmypassi
onIwoul
dbeanawar
d
wi
nnerbynow.
”
Sandi
l
e:“
pret
typl
ease.
”
Me:“
beggi
ngdoesn’
tsuityou.Goodni
ghtSandy
.”I
dr
opthecal
landdri
ftt
osleep.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER12

Dadwokeusupi nt heearlyhour softhemorning.

Hel i
kesdoingthi
sev eryt
imewear ehome.Whenhe
wakesusupat5: 30am weal lknowt hatweare
goingcampi ngandwewi ll
spendourdayandni ght
i
nt hewoods.Af t
ert hatwewi l
l passbyour
grandpar
ents’house( f
rom dad’sside)tomor
rowjust
tohavelunchwi t
hthem andcomebackhome.

Campi nghasalway sbeenourf amilyhobby.We

don’thaveti
met olikeordisli
keitbecausewehav e
beendoi ngi
tsincewewer eli
ttl
e.Whenwewer e
olderweaskeddadwhycampi ngt houghandhet ol
d
ust hati
nhisfamilyeveryhousehol dhasthei
rown
fami l
yhobby.Somepr eferroadtri
ps, somepref
er
fi
shing,somepr ef
ergoingt ofesti
valssohechose
campi
ngf
orus.

Whenwegett othecampingsitethemenusual l
ygo
fi
shingf orlunchanddinnersot hatwecaneat .Dad
taughtushowt ohuntandfi
shf ormeal s.Sowe
arri
vet hereandsetup.Wehav eagr eatfamil
yday.
Ofcour seThandoandBusi arefakingt heir
happinessbecauseofmebutIdon’ tcare.Weeat
fi
shandr oll
sf ordi
nnerandthensl eepi nour
campi ngtent s.Gci
noandLel eshareat entwi
thme
becauseIbr oughtamuchbi ggeroneandbecause
theylov ecrowdingmyspace.

Lel
e:“
soam Ial
l
owedt
obr
eakShamase’
sbones?
”I
l
aughathi
m.
Me:“heisoldert
hanyousoIam sur
ehewi
l
lbet
he
onedoingthecrushi
ngoft
hebones.
”
Gci
no:
“ifhewant
syout
henhewon’
tfi
ghtback.
”
Lel
e:“
yesbr
o.”t
heyf
istbumpandIl
aughatt
hem.
Me:
“uNdosi
omkhul
uwi
l
lski
nyoual
i
ve.
”
Lele: “
yohthatguyshame.RememberwhenIgot
arrestedforassaul
ti
ngSi sana’smanager ?”weall
l
aughbecausedadbai ledhi m outonl
yt obeathim
i
ntoapul pandhewokeupi nhospit
al.Dadi saver
y
peacef ul
personbutoncey ougetinvolvedintoa
vi
ol entsi
tuati
onorafighthewi l
lbeatyouupunt i
l
youpr omisethatyouwi l
lnev erl
etanotherperson
prov okeyou.

Gci
no:“Ir
ememberhowhebeatmeupf ort
ryi
ngt o
br
eakupaf i
ghtandgetti
ngpunchedintheprocess
whi
chleadmet oslappi
ngtheonewhopunchedme.
Dadhasnochil
lthough.
”Wel aughagai
n.
Me: “y
ouguysdon’
tunder
standt
hathehates
vi
olenceandhedoesn’
tbel
ievet
hatf
ight
ingcan
sol
v eaprobl
em.”
Lel
e:“
somet
imeshegoesov
erboar
d.”
Gci
no:
“exact
ly.
”
Me:“
buty
ougot
taadmi
tthathei
sthebestdad
ev
er.
”
Gci
no:
“tr
uet
hat
.”
Lel
e:“
goodni
ghtguy
s.”Weal
lgot
osl
eep.
.
.
Wewakeupt hef ol
lowingdayandwebat husi ngthe
wat erint helake.Af terthatwedr i
vetoWi mpyf or
real breakfast.Wegett hereandsomel adiesgo
crazywhent heyseeLel e,someaskf orpicturesand
hegr antsthem t hat.Thewhol efamilyfi
ndat able
thati sbigenoughf orall ofusandwesi tther e.The
waitr esscomest otakeor dersandIor derf orLele
whilehei sent ert
aininghisf anclub.Lelecomest o
sitnextt omeandt hewai t
ressbr i
ngsuscof f
eeand
teaf ormom andherf i
rstbor n,butthewai tress
doesn’ tseeLel ebecausehehashi sheadonmy
shoul der.

Dad:“Ij
usthopey
ourf
ancl
ubwon’
tbedi
stur
bingus
whil
eeating.
”
Lel
e:“
theywon’
tdad.
”Thewai
tr
essbr
ingsbr
eakf
ast
andshealmosttr
ipswhensheseesLele.Gci
no
standsupandassist
sherbef
oreshefall
s.
Gcino:
“letmehelpyouwit
hthat.
”hetakesthetray
fr
om herandserveus.Thewait
ressf
inal
lycomes
backtohersensesandconti
nuesdoi
ngherj ob.
Dad:“seewhatIwastal
ki
ngabout.
”Weall
laugh.We
fi
nisheati
nganddaddydear
estset
tl
est
hebill
.

WeexitWimpyandwedr i
vetoNdwedwewher ethe
pensi
onersli
ve.Wegett hereandasusual theyhav
e
vi
sit
ors.Wegetinsideandgr an-gr
anscreamswhen
sheseeshergrandchil
dren.Wehugher ,
gr andpa
andshakehandswi ththei
rvisit
ors.Thevisitor
s
l
eaveandt hehousekeeperservesusdr i
nks.

Gran:
“Ihopeyouar
estayi
ngf
orthenightbecausei
t
hasbeensolongsi
nceyousl
epther
e.”
Dad:
“whatdoy
ousayhoney
?”sheaskslooki
ngat
mom.Shemelt
swhendadcall
sherhoney.
Mom:
“wedon’
thav
eanypl
anssowewi
l
lsl
eep
here.
”dadmaybest
ri
ctandt
oughbutIl
ovet
hathe
becomesateddy
.
Gr
andpa:
“sot
owhatdoweowet
hisv
isi
t?”
Dad: “
wear emakingumemuloforThandomont
h
end.Wedon’ tneedmuchfr
om youbuty our
presence.Andalsopl
easei
nvit
eyourkids.”
Grandmal aughs.
Gran:“
those‘
ki
ds’
asy
our
efert
othem ar
eyour
si
bli
ng.”
Dad:
“so?
”heshr
ugs.Dadcanbesav
agesomet
imes.
Gr
andpa:
“youhav
eev
ery
thi
ngcov
ered?
”
Dad:“
yes.Myki
dswil
lhel
pmeouti
nmaki
ngt
his
cer
emonyasuccess.
”
Gran:“sohaveyoucont
act
edmakot i
’
sfami
l
y? ”mom
i
snotonspeaki ngt
ermswithherf
amily
.Wereall
y
don’tknowwhatwentdownandmom doesn’tli
ke
tal
kingaboutit
.
Dad:
“nowehav
en’
t.
”
Gran:“
sowherewill
Thandofet
chthespearfr
om
becauseaccor
dingtot
radi
ti
onshemustfetchit
f
rom heruncl
esf
rom hermot
her
’ssi
de?
”
Mom:
“wewi
l
lseewhatwecandoma.
”
Gran:“don’
ttakeshor
tcutsorel
set
hiscer
emony
won’tbeasuccess.”Mom nodsandthemood
becomessouri nthel
ivi
ngroom.
.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Li
ndelwawassi t
tingi nherhouseatKwaMashu.
Shemaybeadoct orandal lbutsheisf rom the
ghettoandshel ovesi tthere.Anyway sshest oodup
andwentt ot hekitchent omakeasandwi ch.Whi l
e
makingi tNomabar gedi nandshout edhername.
Sheshout edbackst ati
ngt hatsheisatt hekitchen.
Nomacamet otheki tchen, t
heyexchanged
greeti
ngsandshesatont hebarstool.Leemadea
sandwi chf orhertoosi ncesheknewt hatshewi l
l
compl ain.Whenshewasdoneshehandedi ttoher,
pouredj uiceforthem andsatdownopposi teNoma.
Lee:
“sowhat
’sup?
”
Noma:
“IsawAt
henkosi
.”Leef
roze.
Lee:
“whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?”
Noma:“hewaswit
hawomanandaki d.Isuspect
t
hatshewashiswifebecausetheywerewear i
ng
r
ingsandtheywer
eactingall
loveydovey.
”
Lee:
“doy
out
hinkt
hathewi
l
lcomeaf
terme?
”
Noma:
“It
hinkhehasmov
edon,
wel
lIhopeso.
”
Lee:
“whatwil
lIdoifhecomesaft
erme?GoshI
can’
tli
vel
iket
his.Whycan’
tIhav
epeacenj
e?”
Noma:“hei
smarri
edandhehasn’tdoneany
thi
ng
yetsoi
t’
ssafet
osayal
liswel
lfornow.”
Lee:
“yeahf
ornow.
”
Noma: “
anywaysbaeinv
itedustohiswork.Theywil
l
beint
roduci
ngnewdishessohewaswonder i
ngif
wecouldcomeandsuppor thi
m.Becauseifhe
i
nvit
esapersonandtheyshowup, hewil
lgetR100
percust
omer.”
Lee:
“wheni
sthi
spr
omot
iont
hinghappeni
ng?
”
Noma:
“Tuesdayni
ght
.”
Lee:
“Iwi
l
ltel
lFut
hyandZahandmay
beLi
ndsay
.”
Noma:“thatguycanbedr
amat
icsomet
imes.
”They
bot
hlaughed.
Lee:
“whenar
ewegoi
ngt
oZi
mbal
i
?”
Noma:“
Ithi
nkwecangoonWednesdaymi
ddayj
ust
f
orcont
rol
.Youst
il
lcov
eri
ngt
hecosts?
”
Lee:“
Idon’
tgobacktomywordtasenaweuyazi
nj
e.”Nomagiggl
edandtookasi
ponherjui
ce.
.
.
.
*
**BACKTOFUTHY*
**
I
t’
sSundayeveningandLeleandIar
edr i
vi
ngtomy
house.Wegetther
eandf i
ndMabutho,Zamokuhl
e,
ThobekaandNomxolisi
playi
ngboardgamesinthe
l
ounge.
Me:“heyguys.”Theyal
lgreetback.It
akemybag
upst
airsandheadbackdownst air
safterchangi
ngt
o
sl
eepers.Isi
tonthevacantcouch.
Xol
i
:“canImakey
ouguy
ssomet
hingt
odr
ink?
”
Me:
“cof
feewi
l
ldof
orme.
”
Lele:
“I’
dli
keteabeaut
if
ul.
”Xol
igi
ggl
esandheadst
o
thekit
chen.
Me:
“howarey
ouguy
sset
tl
ingi
n?”Iaskl
ooki
ngat
t
heguar
ds.
Thobeka:“Il
ovemybedsomuchandt
her
oom i
sso
beaut
iful
.”
Lel
e:“don’
tyouwantt
oshar
eitwi
thme?Ipr
omi
seI
won’tbi
te.
”
Me:“Si
bul
elest
opprovoki
ngherorIwi
l
llether
smashyouint
opieces.
”
Lel
e:“
Iam j
ustki
ddi
ngsisi
hawu.”Xol
icomesback
wit
hourdr
inksandsheser
vesus.
Me:
“howf
arar
eyouwi
tht
her
esear
ch?
”
Xol
i
:“al
ldone.Icanpr
esenti
ttoy
our
ightnow.
”
Me:“l
et’
sgot oyouroff
ice.
”Webothstandupand
headtothepoolhouse.Wegetinsi
deandshetur
ns
ontheli
ghts.Webothsitdownandsheopensher
l
aptop.It
akeasiponmycof f
ee.

Xol i:
“If oundav acantbui ldi
ngi nJohannesbur gCBD.
Ithasbeenf reef oral ongt i
me.Ther ewassome
pipingpr oblem sot heydidn’tf i
xt hat,theyjust
stoppeddoi ngbusi nesst her e.Ifyouwer etout i
li
zei t
you’ dhav etostar tafreshwi thev erything.Ithas5
floors.Thent herei sabui ldingf orsal einNor thClif
f.
Theowneri smov i
ngherof ficest oNor t
hgatesoshe
i
ssel l
ingt hisbuilding.Ithas7f l
oor sand3el evators.
Itisbeaut if
ulandi singoodcondi ti
on.Thent hereis
onei nFour way s.Thatonei sast ateoft heart
bui l
ding.I twasbui l
tanddesi gnedbyf amous
ar chit
ectLungakhoMbhel e.Ithasauni quest r
ucture
andal sohasbasementpar kingl ot.Ithasabout10
floors.I tisthemostexpensi veonebet weent he3
andi ti salsoi ngoodcondi t
ionandi si nasaf e
env ir
onment .
”
Me: “theonei nJHBCBDwi llcostalotfor
renov at
ionsandf ortheplumbingandt heremustbe
anotherr easonwhynobodyhasshowni nteresti
n
buyingit.Iwi l
ll
ookatt heoneinNor t
hCl i
ffandthe
onei nFour waysinmor edetail
.Buttheonei n
Four wayswi ll
haveunnecessar yspacenjebecauseI
willonlyutil
ize7floors.Whatwi l
lIdowiththeother
3?ButIwi l
lhav et
osl eeponit.Sowhatdidy oufind
i
nCapeTown? ”

Xoli
:“Ifoundonei nCl aremont ,i
t’singoodcondi ti
on
andinasaf eenv ir
onment .Ithas4f l
oorsand
doesn’thaveanel ev at
or,Idon’ tknowwhy .The
secondonei sonSt eenber g.Itisal soinasaf e
envir
onment .I
t’sjustthatt her oofcol lapsed2y ears
agosoi thasn’tbeeni nusef orthatl ong.Idon’ tev en
knowhowmanyf l
oor sithasandIknownot hi
ng
aboutbusinessbutIwoul dn’ tadv icey ouonbuy ingit.
Thelastonei sinCl i
fton.Itwasbui l
tbyLet hukuthula
Hlongwa.Ithas8f l
oor sand2el evators.Ithasa
heli
padont her oof.Ili
keit.”Let hukut hulaHl ongwa
i
smypr evi
ousboss.Hei sagr eatar chitect.
Me:“I
’
dt aket
heoneinCl
if
ton.Pl
easedosetupan
appoi
ntmentwit
htheownersothatwecanhear
howmuchhei ssel
li
ngi
tfor.
”
Xol
i
:“wi
l
ldo.
”Ist
andupwi
thmycof
fee.
Me:
“seey
oui
nsi
de.
”Iexi
tthepool
house.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER13

I
t’
sMondaymi ddayandLeej ustbargesintomy
off
icewit
haNandost akeaway .Sheplacesthe
paperbagonmydeskandt akesaseatoppositeme.

Me:“i
fyouhadn’
tbr
oughtt
hefoodIwould’
vel
ong
ki
ckedyououtwenaMaNkosi
.”Shel
aughs.
Lee:
“howar
eyout
ase?
”
Me:“owwwon’ty
oul
ookatthat
?Shehasmanners,
sheknowshowtogr
eet
.”Shecont
inuesl
aughi
ng.
Lee:“
stopbei
ngdramati
c.YouandNomaal
way
sdo
thi
stome.”Ir
oll
myey es.
Me:
“what
ever
.Sowhatdoy
ouwant
?”
Lee:
“NomasawAt
henkosi
thi
sweekend.
”Ist
op
whatIam doi
ngandgi
vehermyundi
vi
dedat
tent
ion.
Me:
“whatar
eyousay
ingt
ome?
”
Lee:
“butwehavenot
hingtoworryaboutbecausehe
waswithhi
swif
eandkid.”Shechuckl
esnervousl
y.
Me:“not
hingtowor ryabout
?Reall
yLindelwa?That
guywaspr act
icall
ychasedoutofDurbanbecauseof
hi
sobsessionf oryou.Whathasbroughthim back
her
e?Wifeornowi feIdon’
ttr
usthim.Whatifhehas
anaceupi nhissleeve?”
Lee:“
let
’snotov
err
eacttase.I
fhecomesaft
erme
thenIwil
lmoveinwit
hy ouforaf
ewweeksuntil
he
crawl
sbacktowhicheverhol
ehecamefrom.”
Me:“Idon’
tknowt ase.Ihav
eabadf eel
i
ngabout
t
his.
”Sheexhales.“Arewestil
lgoi
ngtoEmpangeni
t
omor r
ow?”
Lee:
“yeah.Ir
eschedul
edal
lmyappoi
ntment
ssowe
aref
reetogo.”
Me:“okay.Zamokuhl
ewill
bedr i
vi
ngus.Iam sur
e
wewillmakeitbackear
lybecauseit
’sahal
fanhour
dr
ivefrom Dur
bantoEmpangeni.”
Lee:“any
way swear egoi
ngtoKhanya’swor k
tomorrownight.Therei
sapromotionthere.If1
customercomesbecauseofhim, hewillgetR100.3
customersR300.Andwear eal
sogoi ngtoZi mbalii
n
Wednesdaymi dday,wearegoi
ngt ospendt henight
ther
e.”
Me:“IhaveadateonWednesdayni
ghtbutIguessI
wi
ll
mov ei
ttotomorr
ow.
”
Lee:
“dat
ewi
thwho?
”
Me:
“Sandi
l
e.”
Lee:
“gi
rlwhot
hef
ucki
sSandi
l
e?”
Me:
“Sandi
l
eNt
uli
thepr
oducer
.”
Lee:
“what
’swi
thy
ouandcel
ebr
it
iest
heseday
s?”
Me:“Iguesstheyl
i
ket
hebi
ggi
rl
’spussy
.”She
l
aughsoutloud.
Lee:“
it
’syourf
aul
tthatIwil
lbet
her
eal
onesoy
ou
wil
lsetupadatef
orme. ”
Me:“
Lel
eorKeela,ei
therwaytheywil
lbeboth
comi
ngbecauseIam goingt
oaskt hem ni
cel
y.
”
Lee:“i
sthi
syourwayoftortur
ingme?”Ilaughather
.
“LaughFut
hy,l
augh.Kuyezanakuwe.
”Ilaughout
l
oudandshest andsupandheadsout.
Me:
“thanksf
ort
hel
unch!
”
Lee:
“FOKOFO!
”Ibur
stoutl
aughi
ng.
ItextSandil
eaboutt hechangeofplansandaskhi
m
tobringhisbrother
s.Ialsotextmyownbr ot
her
aboutthisandhei ssuperexcitedt
oeatoutwit
hme.
Hecanbechi l
dishsomet i
mes.
.
.
Thenextmor ni
ngar ri
vesandwear eallsit
ti
ngatt he
l
oungewai t
ingforLee.Gci nohasal readyarri
v eand
bothhi m andLel earebehav i
nglikecrèchekidsand
causingchaos.Lel ei sbusyt easingThobekaev en
thoughshekeepst hreateninghim.Gci noisbusy
terr
orizi
ngMabut howi th21quest i
onsandXol ij
ust
keepsonl aughingbecausesheknowshowmy
brotherscanbe.Leef i
nall
yar r
ivesandweal lgetout.
Zamokuhl ei sdrivi
ngmewi thThobekaandLee.
Mabut hoi swi t
hGci noandLel e.Wegeti nsi
det he
carsandof fwegotoEmpangeni .Wear r
ivet
here
afteranhourand45mi nutesbecausewehadt obuy
somer efr
eshments.Wegett her
eandwef i
ndher
withheradorabl
enoisygranddaughter
.Theguards
standoutsi
deandwegeti nsidethelounge.

Simamiso:“
howar ey
ouguy
s?”sheasksshaki
ng
handswithever
yone.
Gci
no:“wear
enotcompl
aini
ng.Li
feisgood.
”Weal
l
l
augh.Sheof
fer
susseat
sandwesi tdown.
Si
mami
so:
“howwast
hedr
ive?
”
Me:
“shor
tert
hanexpect
ed.
”
Si
mami
so:
“It
houghtIwasonl
ymeet
ingy
ou.
”
Me:“aft
erspeaki
ngabouty
ourgreat
ness,
thechoi
r
coul
dn’twai
ttoseeyouandseesomeofy ourwor
k.”
Shegiggl
es.
Lee:
“doy
ouhav
eacat
alogue?
”
Si
mami
so:
“yes.Woul
dyoul
i
keany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?
”
Me:
“jui
cepl
ease.
”Shedi
sappear
stot
heki
tchenand
comesbackwitht
hecatal
ogueandhandsitt
oLee.
Herdaught
ercomesandservesusj
uice.
Lee:
“damn.Iam i
mpr
essedsi
si.Thi
sisbeaut
if
ul.
”
Si
mami
so:
“thanky
ou.
”Shesmi
l
es.
Lel
e:“
howmanycowsforyoudaughter
?”heasks
wit
hasil
l
ysmil
eonhi
sf ace.Weal
llaugh.
Simamiso:
“shedoesn’
tdosi
nger
s.”Gci
nol
aughs.
“Sowhatdoyouguysneed?”
Me:“Ial
readyknowwhatIwant .SoIwanta
mermaidnav ydresswi
thashweshwef l
are,
itmust
al
sohav esee-t
hroughl
ong-
sleeves.
”Ishowherthe
pi
cture.
Simamiso:
“thi
swi
l
lbeeasyandi
twi
l
lsui
tyourbody
ty
pe.”
Lel
e:“Iwantakneelengt
hlongsleevesshi
rtwi
ththe
sameshweshwef abri
cthatsi
siwil
lbeusingonher
fl
areandnavydresspants.
”
Gci
no:
“ Iwantnavyshweshwepants,
obviousthe
samefabricsi
nceever
yoneisusi
ngitandanav y
l
ongsl
eev escott
onshir
twitht
heshweshwef abri
c
highl
i
ght
edsomewher
e.Itr
ustyousoy
ouwi
l
ldo
yourmagi
c.”Si
mami
solaughs.
Lee:“
wellIwantakneel
engt
hnavyshweshwe
pri
ncessdresswhi
chisaboobt
ube.
”
Simami so:“
okaypleasestandupFuthysothatIcan
takeyourmeasur ements?”Ist
andupandshedoes
herthi
ng.Theot her3alsostandsupandshealso
takestheirmeasurements.
Me:
“sohowmuchwi
l
lal
loft
hiscost
?”
Si
mami so:
“longdressesar
eR800,
theshi
rtsare
R300,
thepant sar
eR450andtheshor
tdressesare
R650.
”
Gci
no:
“thatwi
l
lbeR2950.
”
Me:“
cany oupl
easesendmey ouraccount
number
?”shecall
sitoutandIsendthemoney
i
mmediately
.
Lel
e:“t
hecer
emonywil
lbeont
he29t
hofAugustso
wil
lyoubedonebyt
hen?”
Si
mami
so:
“yes.Iwi
l
lst
artassoonaspossi
ble.
”
Lee:
“cany
oupl
easedel
i
vert
hecl
othesi
nDur
ban?
Wewi l
lpayforpet
rol
.It
’sj
ustthatwehavev
erybusy
schedulesanddur
ingt
heweekoft hecer
emonyall
theCelefamil
ywil
lbesuperbusy.”
Si
mami
so:
“Ihav
enopr
obl
em wi
tht
hatsi
si.
”
Me:“
greatthen.Wewil
lbeonourwayout
.”we
st
andup,exchangehugsandheadout
.
Lel
e:“
ther
eisthi
scoolspotwhichisabout5
minut
esfr
om here.I
t’
scall
edWav ecafé.Howabout
weheadther
eandhav esomelunch?”
Me:
“okayl
et’
sgo.
”Wegeti
nsi
det
hecar
sanddr
ive
t
oWave.

Wegett her
eandorderf
oodanddr inks.Af
terawhil
e
thefoodcomesandweeat .Wefinisheati
ngandwe
headbacktoDurban.Wegettherearound16:00.I
takeaquicknapandsetanalar
mf or17:30sothatI
canwakeupandpr epar
eforthedinnerthi
ngy.
.
.
Wear
ri
vet
other
est
aur
antandKhany
aqui
ckl
ydi
rect
ustoourtabl
e.BythewayIam wear i
ngabl ack
l
ooselongsleev
edj umpsuitandblackheels.Weget
toourt
ableandfindtheNt ul
ibrot
hersalreadyther
e.
Assoonasheseesme, Sandi
lest
andsupandhe
hugsme.Hesmel lsnicethoughbutIwon’ tadmiti
t
tohi
m.Heopensachai rformeandIsi tdown.

Khany a:“thankyousomuchguy sforcomi ng

throughf orme.Ourbossj ustt ol
dust hati fIbri
ng3
ormor epeopl ethemoneyi sdoubl edsoIguess
R1800. ”Sinceit’
sthebigthree, t
heNt uli
br other
s
andmyguar ds.Theguardsar esitt
ingatt heirown
tablesot hattheycanhav efreedom butt heyknow
thatIwi l
lsettl
etheirbi
l
lwhet hertheyl i
keitornot .

Me:
“pl
ust
ips.
”Hel
aughs.
Khany
a:“
yespl
ust
ips.
”Nomast
andupandhugs
hi
m.
Noma:
“Iam sohappyf
ory
oubabe.
”Shesi
tsdown.
Khany
a:“
sowhatwoul
dyouguy
sli
ket
oor
der
?”
Lee:“
canIchoosethestar
tersforever
yone?”
ever
yonenods.“We’
dli
keKakor iKebabs.
”Nomaand
Ibur
stoutl
aughingatthestorybehi
ndthisdi
sh.
Khany
a:“
comi
ngr
ightup.
”hel
eav
es.
Sakhi
l
e:“
sowhat
’sf
unny
?”
Lee:“i
twasourf i
rstti
meonaf i
vestarrestaurant
.
Wewer estil
ldoingourf i
rsty
eari
nWi ts.Therewas
thi
schickcall
edKat r
ina.Shetookustot hisfancy
rest
aurantandf orstarter
ssheorderedKakor i
kebabs.Wedi dn’tevenknowwhatt heyar e.”
Me:“i
nmymindIthoughtmaybeit
’scabbageor
somethi
ngal
ongt
hoselines.
”Theyal
llaugh.
Noma: “Iwashonestl
yblank.Sowealsoorder
edt
he
kebabs.Wewer eshockedbyt her
esul
ts.
”

Sandi
le:
“youar enottheonlyoneswhohav eor
dered
somethi
ngt hatyoudon’tknow.”Thebrothersl
augh.
Sandi
lesharesast or
yabouthowt heyordered
seaf
oodfort hefi
rstti
mewhi let
heyhadnocl ue
whatwasit.Sandilekeepslooki
ngatmeandImust
sayhehasbeaut
if
uleyes.Khanyacomesbackwi
th
thest
art
ersandwestarteat
ing.

Afterawhi l
ethemai ncoursecomesandwei ndul
ge
i
nit .Whenwef i
nishi
tSandil
estandsupand
i
ndicatesthathei sgoi
ngforasmokeout side,he
asksmet oaccompanyhi m andIalsost
andup.We
headt othebalconyandhel i
ghtshi
scigarett
e.He
l
eansagai nstthewallandlookatme.

Sandi
l
e:“
comeher
e.”
Me: “
notwhi leyou’
resmoking.
”Hequickl
ythr
ows
awayhisci garet
teandopenhisarmsforme.Igot
o
hi
m andj ustlaymyheadonhi schestwit
hmyarms
aroundhiswai st,
hishandsareonmybuttandI
honestl
ydon’ tmind.

Sandi
le:“
actuall
yIwantedsomealonet
imewithy
ou,
smokingwasj ustanexcuse.
”Igi
ggl
e.“
You’
re
beaut
iful
,youknowt hat
?”
Me:
“soIhav
ebeent
old.
”Hechuckl
es.
Sandil
e:“confidentmuchMi ssCele.Ili
ke.Any ways
canIgetaki ssbef oreyourbr othercomesl ooking
foryou?”Ilaughandl eani n.ourlipsmeetandwe
j
ustgowi ththef low.Afterawhi lewest opki ssi
ng
andjuststareateachot her .“Hasany oneev ertol
d
youthatyouhav ebeautifuluniqueey es?”Ishakemy
headno.

Me:“t
heyal
way
ssayt
heyar
ewei
rd.
”Hechuckl
es
agai
n.
Sandi
l
e:“well
Ili
ket
hem andcany
oupl
easesi
ngf
or
meagain?”
Me:
“youar
eabusingmeSandi
l
e.”Isul
kandhebi
tes
myl
owerli
p,Ij
ustgi
ggl
e.
Sandi
l
e:“justonesong,
eveni
fit
’sahooknj
e
Ntombi.
”Isighandstar
tsi
ngi
ng.

Me:“Idon’
tknowmuchaboutal
gebr
abutIknow
1+1equals2,
Andi
t’
smeandy
ou,
That
’sal
lwe’
l
lhav
ewhent
hewor
ldi
sthr
ough,
Causebabyweai
n’
tgotnot
hingwi
thoutl
ove,
Dar
li
ngy
ougotenoughf
ort
hebot
hofus
Socomeonbabymakel
ovet
ome”

Sandi
l
e:“
whydi
dyoust
op?
”
Me:“
ahookisahookSandy
.”HepoutsandIperk
hi
sli
ps.“
Youlooksocut
eri
ghtnow.
”Heblushes.
Sandi
l
e:“pl
easel
eavemeal one.”Hef ol
dshisar
ms
i
nhischestdr
amati
call
yandIj ustgiggl
e.“
Let’
shead
backi
nsi
debefor
ey ougetcold.”Inodandwehead
backi
nsi
de.Wesitdown.

Lel
e:“
whatwer
eyouguy
stal
ki
ngabout
?”
Me: “
wena6f i
gures,mina8figuressoasil
ingani
l
itt
lebro.sukuthandaizi
ndaba.”Theyal
llaughand
Lelepouts.
Sakhi
le:
“whendi
dyour
eacht
he8f
igur
est
atus
Futhy
?”
Me:“
about3year
sago.WhenIwassti
llan
empl
oyeeIwasalr
eadyear
ning6f
igur
es.”
Yandi
sa:
“sodoy
ouhav
eanyshar
ehol
der
siny
our
company?”

Me: “no.abant
ubay edelelel
aandt heyl i
kebeingin
chargeonsomet hingt hatisnottheirs.Mywor dis
thelaweDCCandIdon’ tneedappr ov alf
rom the
boardt omakemaj ordeci si
ons.Any wayst hi
s
businesstalki
yomisa.Nomat el
lbaet obringmea
verycolddumpyy afishiondizayo.”Shelaughsand
signalsforuKhanya.Khany abr i
ngsusdr i
nks.Iask
forthebill
.

Lee:
“it
’sonme.
”
Me:“noit
’sonme,
remembery
oust
il
lhav
eZi
mbal
i
.”
Khanyabri
ngst
hebil
l
.
Noma:
“noy
oucamet
osuppor
tmesot
hisbi
l
lison
me.”IexhaleandaskKhany
atobr
ingmet
he
guards’
bil
l.Hedoes.
Sakhi
l
e:“
soDr
.Leear
eyoui
nar
elat
ionshi
p?”
Lee:
“ nobutIdoben10ssoyouwill
do.
”Shesay s
l
ookingathim whi
lebi
ti
ngherl
ip.Weal
llaugh.
Sakhi
l
e:“
your
eal
l
ydoben10s?
”
Noma:“yeah,heragemateshav
epr
ovent
obe
asshol
esfrom ti
metoti
me.”
Yandi
sa:“
maybeyouhav en’tmettherightguy .
”He
saysl
ooki
ngatLeesternl
y .Ihav
enot i
cedthat
Yandi
sahasbeenlooki
ngatLeeabi tl
ongert han
normal
.Leecl
ear
sherthr oatandjustchuckles.
Me:
“It
hinkIwi
l
lcal
li
tani
ght
.Ihav
eabusymor
ning
t
omorr
ow.”
Sandi
l
e:“
letmewal
kyouout
.”
Lel
e:“
dudeIam st
il
lher
emoss.
”
Sakhil
e:“
youwil
lgohomelater.Ist
il
lwantustogo
tothatcl
ub.
”Lel
esighsandstandsup.Weallstand
upandsharehugs.
Lel
e:“
seeyout
omorr
owbecauseIam sur
eIwil
lget
homewhenyouar
ealr
eadyasl
eep.
”Hesidehugs
meandsit
sdown.
Lee: “
babeskusasake.”Inodandwalkout,t
he
guardsalsowalkbehindmebutMabut hoiswal
ki
ng
i
nf rontofme.Wegett otheparki
nglotand
Zamokuhl egeti
nsidethecar.Mabut
hoandThobeka
standabi tf
arfr
om Sandil
eandme.

Sandi
le:
“sowhenaregoingt
ospendqual
it
yti
me
toget
her
?”heaskspul
li
ngmet ohi
sbody.
Me:
“howol
dar
eyou?
”hechuckl
es.
Sandi
l
e:“
31.
”Myey
espopout
.
Me:“dudewhatt
hef
uck?It
houghty
ouwer
e25or
somethi
ng.
”
Sandi
l
e:“
yeahIknow.Il
ooky
ounger
.”
Me:“Howcomeyouar
enotmarr
iedordon’
thav
e
ki
ds?Imeanyouar
eol
denough.
”
Sandi
le:“Howcomey
ouar
enotmar
ri
edordon’
t
havekids?”
Me:
“Idon’
tdat
e.”
Sandi
l
e:“
whatdoy
oumean?
”
Me:“Idon’
tdorelati
onshi
ps.Thelastti
meIwasi na
ser
iousrel
ati
onshipwas7y earsago.Shithappened
andIgaveupont hem.”hecupsmyf aceandper ks
mylips.
Sandi
le:
“maybeyouwereunluckybutIam her
enow
andIam pl
eadi
ngforachance.”
Me:
“Idon’
tknowSandy
.”
Sandil
e:“
please.
”Hepout
sandbl
i
nkshi
sey
es
rapi
dly
.Ij
ustgiggle.
Me:
“fi
ne,
what
ever
.”
Sandi
le:
“sowhenar
ewespendi
ngqual
i
tyt
ime
toget
her
?”
Me:“someti
menextweekbecauset
hisweeki
sver
y
busyforme.
”heexhal
es.
Sandi
le:“Iunder
stand,youar
eav er
ybusywoman. ”
HekissesmeandIr espondtot
hekiss.Aft
erawhil
e
hebreaksitandperksmyl i
psandmyf orehead.
“Goodnight.”
Me:“night
.”IheadtothecarandMabuthoopensthe
doorforme.Iclimbinsi
deandheclosesthedoor
.
Theygetinsidethei
rcarandwedri
veout.
.
.
.
#Sandy
LvsFut
hy
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER14

‘
At henkosi:
“owwpl easedoyoureal
lyt
hinkIhave
stoppedlov i
ngyou?Youar emysoulmate,myride
ordie,myf orev
er.Ijustmarr
iedt
hatwoman
becauseshewaspr egnantwithmybaby.”Hesays
whi l
epulli
nghertohi m.

Lee:“
Athipl
easeleavemeal one.Iwantnot
hingto
dowithyou.Youbringnot
hingbutpaininmyl i
fe.
Letmego.”Helaughs.

Athi
:“youreal
lythi
nkIam goingtoletyougo?Just
l
ikethat?YouandIbelongtogetherandnobodywil
l
evercomebet weenus.
”hecar r
iesherinhis
shoulderl
ikeasackofpotatoandexitsthedoor
.
Leeisscr
eamingandki
cki
ngbutt
hatdoesn’
tseem
tofazeAt
henkosi
.

Voice:
“youneedtohel
pherMaNdosibef
oreit
’st
oo
l
ate.Helpher
.”Thevoi
cespeaki
nacalm manner
.’

Iwakeuppant ingandgaspi ngforair.Mypill

owi s
soakingwetwithmysweat .Idon’tknowwhent he
l
asttimeIhadadr eam likethatwas.Ialway shav e
warningdreamswhenat ragedyisaboutt ostri
ke
andmyf ri
endsl earnedthehar dwaynev ert
oignore
mywar ni
ngs.Icheckt hetimeonmyphoneandI
curseundermybr eathwhenIseet hatit
’sonly4:50
am.Iknowt hatIwon’ tgetanysl eepafterthi
ssoI
mightaswel l
getanear l
yst ar
t.

Igetup,maket hebedandt akeawar m shower.

Aft
erthatIdryandlotionmybodyandheadt othe
cl
oset.Iwearmymat chi
ngnudel aceunderwear.I
wearablackv estwi
thgr eenti
ghtsuitandblack
heel
s.Icombmyhai randst y
leiti
ntoaneatbun.I
checktheti
meandseet hatit
’s5:30.It
akemywor k
stuf
fandheaddownst air
s.Iplacemybagsi nthe
counterandmakecof f
eef ormy sel
f.Whil
edr i
nki
ng
coff
eeMabut howalksinthekitchenbarefoot
wearingonl
yav estandsweat pants.

Mabut
ho:
“am Il
ateorar
eyouear
ly?
”Il
aughathi
m.
Me:
“Icoul
dn’
tsl
eepso…”Ishr
ug.
Mabut
ho:
“byt
hewaygoodmor
ningFut
hy.
”
Me:
“goodmor
ningMabut
ho.
”
Mabutho:“
giv
eme10mi nut
estogetr
eadyandIwil
l
dri
veyoutowork.
”Inodandherushestohisroom.
Aft
erexact
ly10minuteshecomesbacklooki
ng
dapperi
nablacksui
t.Ipl
acemycupinthesink.

Me:“di
dyoubat
h? ”hel
aughsandt
akesmy
bel
ongi
ngsfr
om thecounter
.
Mabut ho:
“Idon’
ttake2hourst
ogetreadyunli
ke
anothergenderwhichIwon’
tment
ion.
”Ilaughand
rol
lmyey es.
Wegetoutandheadt otheAst
onMar ti
n.Heopens
thedoorforme,Icli
mbi nandheclosesitaft
erme.
Hegetsont hedri
verseatanddri
vesout.Wear r
ive
atworkanduset hepri
vateel
evat
orjustforcont
rol.
Wegett omyof f
iceandheplacesmyst uffonmy
desk.

Me:“whenZahcomesi
npleasetel
lherIwantaful
l
Engl
i
shbreakf
astandt
ell
hertoorderf
oryoutoo.”
Mabut
ho:
“sur
ebozza.
”Heexi
tst
hedoor
.

Icheckmynot ebookandseet hatIhav eabout5

designst hatImustdesi gn.Isighandsetupmy
equipmenti nmydr awingboar d.Istartwit
hthe
universi
tyresidentsdesi gns.Ihavedesigned
resi
dent sbefor esothisshoul dbeeasy .Ij
usthave
toincludenewel ement shereandt here.Ist
art
drawing.Ti mef li
eswheny ouaredoi ngsomething
thatyouar epassi onatewi t
h.Zahbar gesinmy
offi
cewi thapaperbag.Shegr eetsmeandset sup
thefoodi nmyt able.
Me:
“hasThobekaar
ri
ved?
”
Zah:
“yesboss.
”
Me:
“whatt
imei
sit
?”
Zah:
“10:
20am”
Me: “
damn.Idi
dn’
tev
enreal
i
zethatIwashungr
y.”
Shecomesnearmydrawi
ngtabl
eandexaminesthe
drawings.
Zah:
“wow.Whati
nspi
redt
hisdesi
gn?
”
Me:
“itj
ustcamei
ntomymi
ndnj
e.”
Zah:“
it
’sbeaut
if
ul.Icanalr
eadypi
ctur
eitoncei
t’
s
done.
”Ichuckl
eandst andup.
Me:
“howwasy
ourmeet
ingwi
thSi
bisi
?”
Zah:“
hewassuperexci
tedandhesai
dwhenhe
buysabui
l
dingforanot
hercl
ubinPor
tEl
i
zabet
hhe
wil
ll
etmedesignit
.”
Me:“that’
swhatIam tal
ki
ngaboutdear.Anyway
sI
needy outohi
reabout3addi
ti
onalconstr
ucti
on
workerswhowillonl
yhelpwi
ththeBlueDiamond
proj
ect.”
Zah:
“sur
eboss.
”
Me: “pleaserequestaf
inancialreportfrom Lonwabo.
Ineedonebyt heendoftomor rowbusi nessday .Al
l
thepr ofi
tswehav emade,losses, al
lthatfi
nancial
shitnje.”Shenodsandheadsout .

Isitdownandeatmyf ood.Af t
ereatingIcont i
nue
withmydesi gning.Iaddanopenspacest yli
sh
rooftopwithbenchesbecauseIknowhowst udents
l
ov echil
li
nginther oof.Weal solovedchil
lingatt he
roofwhenwewer esti
llatwits.Wewoul d
somet i
messmokeweedt herebutnotallthet ime.
Oncei nawhi l
ewhenoneofuswr oteadifficult
exam.Af t
erawhi leIam di st
urbedbymyr i
ngi ng
phone.Ianswerwi t
houtev encheckingwhot he
call
eris.

Me:
“Nt
ombi
fut
hiCel
ehel
l
o.”
Noma:
“exact
lyhowbusyar
eyou?
”Igi
ggl
e.
Me:
“30mi
nut
est
aset
henIam doneher
e.Ist
art
ed
aproj
ectthi
smorningandIwantedt
oleav
ethe
of
fi
ceatleasthal
fwaythr
oughit
.”
Noma:
“Iam gi
vi
ngy
ou2hour
stogett
oZi
mbal
i
.”
Me:
“whatt
imei
sit
?”
Noma:
“1:
30pm t
ase.
”
Me:“okay.By3:30Iwi
llbet here.
”Idr
opthecal
land
sendatexttoKaskinghert opackanoverni
ghtbag
formeandal soworkcl
ot hes.Iseta29minut
es
ti
merandcont i
nueworking.
ThetimerlapsesandIstopworki
ng.Irollmy
sket
chesandputt hem i
nthetube.Iputthem insi
de
thesafe.Icol
lectmyst
uffandheadout .Ifi
nd
ThobekaandMabut holaughi
ngandhandt hem my
stuf
f.

Thobeka:
“ar
eyouhav
ingl
unchsomewhere?
”she
asksaswemakeourwaytotheel
evat
or.
Me:“no.Ihaveagir
ls’
nightoutt
odayatZi
mbal
isoI
hav
et oprepare.
”
Mabut
ho:
“yourf
ri
endsar
ecool
thoughanddownt
o
ear
th.Il
i
keLeet
hemost
.”
Thobeka:“
wellIl
i
keNomat
hemost
.Il
oveher
per
sonali
tythemost
.”
Me:
“Iwi
l
ltel
lthem y
ousai
dthat
.”
Mabut ho:“
wheny out el
lLeedon’tputitasli
keIam
i
nterestedinher …nott hatIam noti
nterest
edin
her…it’
sjustthat…y ouknowwhatnev ermind.”
ThobekaandIl aughathi m.Wegett otheparki
nglot
andf i
ndZamokuhl elaughingwithNell
ywhowor ks
atthe3Ddepar tment.Shegr eet
susandqui ckl
y
rushesinsi
det hebuilding.
Me:“
Mr.ladi
es’
manneh?
”Iwi
ggl
emyey
ebr
owsand
hel
aughs.
Zamokuhl
e:“
eveni
ngboss.
”
Heopenst hedoorformeandIgetinsi
de.Hedriv
es
outoftheparki
nglot.Avi
deocal
lcomest hr
oughon
myphoneandIchuckl ewhenIseewhoi scal
li
ng.I
answerit
.
Me:
“Mphemba.
”Hegi
ggl
es.
Sandi
l
e:“
cany
oupl
easecal
lmet
hatev
eryt
ime?
”I
l
aughandshakemyhead.
Me:“
thi
swasaonet
imethi
ng.
”Hepoutsandsul
ks.
“
Fora31yearol
dmanyousur
eareact
ingchi
ldi
sh.
”
Hel
aughs.
Sandile:“
youarehurt
ingmyfeel
ingssoIam al
lowed
tosulk.”Ir
ollmyeyes.“
Any
way showisyourdayso
farbeautif
ul?
”
Me:“
verybusy
.Ist
art
edworki
ngat6am.Iam super
t
ir
edri
ghtnowbutIhaveot
hercommit
ments.
”
Sandi
l
e:“IwishIwast
her
etogi
vey
ouaf
ull
body
massage.”Igi
ggl
e.
Me:
“kant
iwher
ear
eyou?
”
Sandil
e: “
Iam inJozi.Therewasanemer gencysoI
hadtor ushtherethi
smor ningbutIwil
l beback
tomorrowi nDurban.
”Asadnessemot ionsurfaces
butIdon’tshowi t
.Idon’tknowwhyIam sad
becauseoft hefactt
hathel eftwi
thouttell
ingme.
Am Ifalli
ngforhim?
Me:
“whatwast
heemer
gency
?”
Sandi
l
e:“
ther
eisacol
l
abowear
ewor
kingonwi
th
TiwaSav ageandourver
yownFl
exy
.Sothe
producerwhowassupposedtowor
kingwi
tht
hem
fel
lil
l.Ihadtorepl
acehi
m.”
Me:
“Fl
exyi
swor
kingwi
thTi
waSav
age?
”
Sandil
e:“
yeah.Ti
waisav er
ycool
lady
.Il
oveher
personal
i
tyandaccent
.”
Me:“
sowhydon’
tyouaskhert
obet
hef
utur
eMr
s.
Nt
uli
?”
Sandi
l
e:“
wai
tar
eyouj
eal
ousNt
ombi
?”
Me:“j
ealous?Who?Me?No.any
way
sIhav
etogo.
Tal
klater.
”Ihangup.
Zamokuhl
e:“
FYIy
ouar
emor
ebeaut
if
ult
hanTi
wa.
”
Me:
“yey
!Hi
5.”Wehi
5andt
henl
augh.
.
.
Wear echil
l
ingbythepool andthesuni
salready
sett
ing.Wearefr
om t hespawher ewedidf
ullbody
massagesandwaxes.Awai tercomestowherewe
areseatedandsmiles.
Waiter
:“i
t’
sget
ti
ngcol
dri
ghtnowher
esoI
’
dli
ket
o
accompanyyoutot
hehottub.
”
Noma: “t
hat’
swhatIam t alkingabout.
”Weallstand
up.“Leadthewaymyl ove.”shechuckl
esandleads
ustowher etheJacuzzi i
sat .WegettotheJacuz zi
anddiveinsi
de.Thet emper atur
eofthewateri
sj ust
perf
ect.Thewaiterservesusourdr i
nksandthen
l
eaves.

Lee:“sowhat’
supwit
hyouandSandi
l
e?Wesaw
howlov eydov
eyyouguy
swerel
astni
ght
.Ar
eyou
fal
li
ngforhim?”
Me:“gir
lIam apl
ayer
.Havebeenonef or7y ears.
Youknowwheny ouarel
ookingf oranewdi cky ou
don’
tjustgotoaguyandbelike:“hey,Iam aplayer
andIwannausey ouf
oryourdick”.”t
heybothl augh.
Noma:
“soy
ouhav
enof
eel
i
ngsf
orhi
m?”
Me:“al
it
tl
ebitofthem becauseIam al
sohuman
andheisagoodguybuthei snottheoneGodsent
forme.
”Nomal aughs.
Noma: “
yoursoul
matedoesn’tannouncehisar
ri
val
.
Hejustshowsupandmakey ouchangey ourways.
”
Lee:“
tal
ki
ngf
rom exper
ience.
”Shewi
ggl
esher
eyebr
owsandwelaughather.
Me:“honestl
yIam justaf
terSandi
le’
sdick.Ifheis
goodthenImi ghtkeephi
m aroundforabit.Butifhe
i
sbadngi zomshayangeredcard.”Theybothl augh.

Lee:“
yesgirl.
”Shehi5’sme.Iam actuall
yseri
ous.I
j
ustwantSandi l
e’
sdickandIknowt hatifIt
reathi
m
goodandl i
keahuman, heisgoi
ngt omakesweet
l
ovetomeandi thasbeensolongsinceIhav emade
l
ove.Ijustonlyf
ucktheseonenightstands.

Noma:“
andyou,
”shepoint
satLee,
“what
’sup
bet
weenyouandYandi
sa?”
Me:“
yeahgi
rl
.Isawhowhewasst ari
ngatyou.It
’s
l
ikey
ouhaveahistor
ytoget
herorhewouldl
ikeyou
t
ohavesomehistory
.”Il
i
ckmylipsandshelaughs.
Noma:
“exact
ly.If
elthi
sey
espi
erci
ngt
hroughmy
ski
nbutt
hestar
ewasdi
rect
edt
oyoubutIf
elti
t.
”
Webothl
augh.
Lee: “
wellwedon’thaveahist
orytogetherandwe
arenotplanni
ngonhav ingapresent.
”Wel aughat
her.“ButIwouldn’
tmindbeingfuckedbyt heser
ious
brother,
evenifit
’saonenightstand.
”
Noma:
“buthei
smar
ri
ed.
”
Lee:“
Idi
dn’tsayheshoul
ddi
vorcehi
swif
e.Ij
ust
sai
dI’
dlovetohavehimforj
ustoneni
ght
.”
Me:“I
’dlov
etohavePrinceKuhleinmybedevenif
i
t’
sforonenight
.”Theybothl
ookatmewi tht
heir
eyespoppedoutandtheyburstoutl
aughi
ng.
Lee:“damnIwasnev erready.Butgir
lIam a
hundredpercentbehi
ndy ou.Thatmanisfineas
fuck.Hisdi
gnityandhi
smuscl es.Icanal
ready
i
magi nehissize.
”
Noma: “
youguysareunfai
r.NowImustfant
asi
ze
seei
nganotherman’s6-
packwhil
ehavi
ngmyown
man.”shewhinesandwelaughather
.
Wecont inuedri
nki
ngandchatti
ngandwel aterhead
tother estaur
antfordi
nner.Af
terthatweheadto
outroom.Wear eshari
ngar oom whichhasking
sizedbed.Nott hatwecan’taf
fordseparat
erooms,
wej ustwannabondandt al
kaboutsex,menand
moneyt hewholenight
.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Kuhl
e’
syoungerbr
othergotinhisstudyandf
ound
hi
mjustsi
tt
ingandstar
ingintospace.

Sibongi
seni
:“ear
tht
oKi
ngZul
u.”Hechuckl
edand
snappedoutofit
.
Kuhl
e:“
towhatdoIownt
hisv
isi
t?”heaskedsi
tt
ing
upst
rai
ght
.

Sbo:
“Iaccessedasecuri
tyf
ootaget oar estaur
ant
wher
ey ourspeci
alf
ri
endwasatl astnightandt hi
s
i
swhatIf ound.
”Hepassedhim histablet.Kuhl
e
tooki
tandplayedthev i
deo.ItwasavideoofFuthy
andSandi
lekissi
ngatt hebalcony
.Heclenchedhis
j
awsandplacedt hetabletdown.“Sowhat’
snext?”

Kuhl
e:“
shedidsayshedoesn’
tdat
esomay
bet
hisi
s
anot
herShamasesaga.
”
Sbo:“
arewest
il
lgoi
ngt
othechi
l
lazatherhouseon
Fri
day
?”
Kuhl
e:“
shehasn’
tsai
dany
thi
ngsoIguessi
t’
sst
il
l
on.
”
Sbo:
“what
’sst
oppi
ngy
ouf
rom maki
nghery
our
s?”

Kuhle:
“shei
snotaf l
owertypeofwomanandshe
doesn’
tgetcharmedeasil
y.Whatmakesyout
hink
shewouldagreetobei
nginapol y
gamousmarr
iage?
Alr
eadyshehatesrel
ati
onshipspl
usshei
ssuper
i
ndependentandri
ch.”

Sbo:“
gogodi
dsaythaty
ourot
herwifeisonherway
.
Maybeshewi
llagr
eetobei
ngyoursecondwif
e
whenthet
imecomes.Plusourancest
orswork
over
ti
mesoshewon’thaveachoicebuttogi
vein.
”
Kuhl
e:“
what
everdude.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER15

Wear epreparingt hehousef ort hegettogether.Lee,

Noma, Zah,LindsayandXol i
ar ehelpi
ng.Leleisn’t
here.Hehas3gi gst onightsohewi l
lonlycome
backtomor r
owmor ning.Igav eKaweekendof fj
ust
tobondwi t
hherf i
ancé.It ri
edgi vi
ngtheguar dsa
weekendof fbutt heywer econv i
ncedthatIwillneed
securi
tybecauset herewillbest r
angersinmyhouse.
Nomacookedpapandt heot herspreparedsalads.
Kuhleandhi sfri
endswi ll
bet heonesbr aaingthe
meat .

Theyarri
veafter30mi nutes.Wearejustweari
ng
si
mpleclothes,jeanswithteesandsneakersand
other
sbootsandsandal s.Kuhl
e’
sfri
endsbought
boozethatcanlastagr oupoffri
endsparty
ingthe
wholeweekend.Amongsthi sfri
ends, Iseehis
youngerbrotherSibongi seni
.Weal lexchangehugs
andweal lgot othekitchen.Hebr ought6ofhi s
fr
iendsexcludinghisbr other
.Hei ntr
oducest hem as
Phiwayi
nkosi andPhilasandewhoar et wins,
Mbuso,
Thomas, PhumudzoandI saac.Ialsointr
oducemy
fr
iends.

Noma:“t
hishasof
fi
cial
l
ytur
nedi
ntoahousepar
ty.
”
Weall
laugh.
Me:“y
ouguy scanstar
tbr aaingthemeat.Li
ndsay
passt
hebucket.”Hegivest hebucketwit
h
mari
natedmeatt oSi
bongiseni.“
Mabut hopl
ease
showthem wherethebraaingareais.
”
Mabutho:“
sureboss.Gent
lemenpl
easef
oll
owme.
”
Li
ndsayscreams.
Li
ndsay:“
damnBut ho,youshoul
dspeakmor eoft
en.
Yourvoi
ceissuchat ur
non.”Mabuthorushesout
andthemenfoll
owhi m.Thobekaburstoutl
aughing
andMabuthogiveshimt hel
ook,
shelaughsharder.
Lee:“damnt
hosear
esomef
inebr
other
sri
ght
ther
e.”
Zah:“
youcansayt
hatagai
n.”Weal
lgi
ggl
e.“
Wher
e
arewegoi
ngtoeat
?”
Me:
“it’
scol
doutsidesowearej
ustgoi
ngt
oeatat
t
hedini
ngroom andchil
latt
hel
ounge.
”
Thobeka:
“letmeputt
heboozei
nthef
ri
dge.
”
Xol
i
:“Iwi
l
lhel
pyou.
”Theyst
artpacki
ngt
hebooz
e.
Lee:“
girl
you’
resti
l
lher
e.It
houghty
ouwer
en’
tint
he
room anymor
e.”
Xol
i:
“Ij
ustcoul
dn’
tbeli
evet
hatIwasi
nthe
pr
esenceofroy
alt
y.”

Lee:“
ifyousti
ckwi t
hher ,
”shepoint
satmewi thher
dumpy ,
“evenbeinginthepresenceofBarack
Obamawon’ tfazeyoubecauseshei sal
soa
cel
ebri
tyhersel
f.”Ij
ustrol
lmyey es.
.

Me:
“dr
ama.
”Shechuckl
es.It
akeaf
lyi
ngf
ishcan
from t
hefri
dgeandstar
tdri
nking.“Whydon’twej
oin
theguysfornowoutsi
de?Afteral
lthi
sisaget
toget
herandtheyshoul
dn’
tbeout si
dealone.We
shouldbemingli
ng.
”

Noma:“goodi
dea.”Theyt
akethei
rcans,Xol
itakesa
gl
assofwineandweheadt owheretheguysare.I
goandstandnexttoKuhl
e.
Sbo:
“youguy
scoul
dn’
tst
ayawayf
rom us?
”
Lee:“
Iloveben10ssoify
oudon’ tshutupImight
giv
eyousomemat uredpussy
.”Al l
theguys’eyes
popout,NomaandIlaughhard.Sboclearshis
thr
oat.

Phi
wayinkosi
:“y
ouhav
eabeaut
if
ulhouseMi
ss
Cel
e.”
Me:“pl
easecallmeFut hy.Mi
ssCeleismy
unmarr
iedaunt.”LeeandNomal aughbecauset
hey
knowthisauntIam tal
kingabout
.
Phi
l
asande:
“whatdoy
ouguy
sdof
oral
i
ving?
”
Lee:
“Iam apsy
chol
ogi
st.
”
Noma:
“adv
ocat
e.”
Li
ndsay
:“r
ecept
ioni
st.
”
Zah:
“Fut
hy’
sfi
rstassi
stant
.”
Xol
i
:“Fut
hy’
ssecondassi
stant
.”Theguy
slaugh.
Mbuso:
“youhav
e2assi
stant
s?”Inod.
Kuhl
e:“shehasaverybusyschedul
e.Ihadtomake
anappoint
mentfordi
scussi
ngthisgettoget
her
.”I
l
ookathim.
Me:
“you’
rel
yi
ngKuhl
e.”Hel
aughsal
i
ttl
e.
Phumudzo:
“howbusyi
syourl
i
fe?
”
Me:“Ihar
dlyhaveti
metochi
ll
alonenj
e.Ineed
someonewhoi sgoingt
ofi
xmyl i
fef
orme.”

Theyf i
nishbraai
ngt hemeatandweal lheadback
i
nside.Wedi shupandeat .Aftereati
ngweheadt o
theloungeandchi l
lwhiledr
inking.Li
ndsaysuggests
thatwepl aypart
ygamesandweal lagree.What’
s
mor eexciti
ngisthattheyar
en’tthatsexual.Spi
nthe
bottl
eincludestakingshotstogetherandnotki
ssi
ng.
Thiswilldefi
nit
elyspeedt heprocessofusgett
ing
drunkbutIam happyt hatIam inmyhouse,inmy
comf or
tzone.Ist areatLeeandr ememberthe
dream.Iaskt ospeakwi t
hheraside.

Mbuso:“
gir
lsal
way
shav
esomet
hingt
otal
kabout
.”
Theguy
slaugh.

Me:“Ij
ustr
ememberedsomet
hingthatIneedt
o
di
scusswit
hherandit
’si
mpor
tant.
”
Lee:“
let
’sgo.
”Shepul
l
smet
otheki
tchen.“
What
’s
up?”
Me:
“Ihadadr
eam.
”

Sheknowsmydr eamsar everyseriousbecause

someti
meswhendangerappr oachesIwar nthem.
Theystar
tedtaki
ngthem seri
ouslywhenIwar ned
Nomaaboutanaccidentthatleftherparaly
zedf or
months.Idr
eamedoft heaccidentandIt ol
dher
aboutiti
nful
ldet
ail
.Shedidn’tl
i
stenandwhenit
happenedshecri
ed,notbecauseshewasinj
ured
butbecauseshei
gnoredmywar ni
ng.

Lee:
“whatdi
dyousee?
”
Me:“Athenkosi.Hewast aki
ngy ouagai
nstyourwil
l.
Hesaidheonl ymar r
iedthatwomanbecauseshe
wascarryi
nghi schi
ld.Hesaidyoubelongtogether
andnoonewi l
lseparat
ey ouguys.Khokhosai
dI
musthelpy oubeforeit
’stoolat
e.”

Lee:“wow.”Sheexhalesloudl
yandherey esbecome
glassy.Ibr
inghercl
oserandhugher .Shesnif
fsand
Ibrushherback.“Whenwi l
lIgetpeaceinmylife?
Whycan’ theleav
emeal one?”
Me:“Iwi
l
lborrowMabutho’
sgunandIwil
lputa
bul
l
etbetweenhisey
es.May bet
henhewil
lfi
nall
y
l
eaveyoualone.
”Webreakthehugandshegiggl
es.
Lee:
“youal
way
sknowwhatt
osay
.”
Me:
“Iknow.Any
way
swear
efami
l
yandweal
way
s
prot
ecteachother
.Youwil
lmovei
nwit
hme
tomorrowunti
lwefindawayt
odealwi
thhi
m and
that
’snon-
negoti
abl
e.”
Lee:“
Idon’
tknowwhatIwoul
ddowi
thouty
ou.
”She
sayswipi
nghert
ear
s.
Me:“gi
rlpl
easedon’
ttal
kasifyourl
if
eisdepending
onme.Youar est
rongandfi
erceandIhat
et haty
ou
hav
et oshedtear
sbecauseofthatf
ucker
.”
Lee:
“letmegor
eappl
ymymake-
up.
”
Me:“
sure.
”Shedisappear
stooneoft
her
ooms.I
r
etur
ntothelounge.
Sbo:
“wher
eismysugarmama?
”weal
ll
aughather
.
Noma: “
keepcal
l
ingherasugarmamaandshewi
l
l
sur
elygiv
eyousomesugar.”
Sbo:
“Iai
n’
tscar
edofher
.”
Zah:
“howabouty
ousayt
hatt
oherf
ace?
”
Lee:
“saywhatt
owhosef
ace?
”weal
ll
ookatSbo.
Sbo:“sayt
oy ourfacethaty
ou’
rebeaut
if
ul.
”Weal l
burstoutl
aughingbecauseSbo’
sfacei
shilar
ious
r
ightnow.
Li
ndsay
:“guy
slet
’spl
ayt
rut
hordar
e.”
Mbuso:“
Iam game,j
ustdon’
tmakeext
remedar
es
youguy
s.”Weallagr
ee.
Li
ndsay
: “
Iam st
art
ing.Bossl
adytr
uthordar
e.”I
hat
edaressoImmagowi t
htr
uth.
Me:
“tr
uth.
”
Li
ndsay
:“cr
azi
estpl
acethatyouhav
ehadsexat
.”I
l
aughandcovermyfacewithmyhands.

Me: “
ahot elbal
conywhi l
ether
ewasaweddi ngby
thepoolsi
de.”Yohthatweekendwasl it
.Wewer ei
n
DrakensbergSunResor t4yearsago.Someone
hookedusupwi t
hthedr ugcal
ledmolly.Wehadto
putcamer asinourroom sothatwewi l
lseewhatwe
didbecauseweknewt hatthepossi
bil
it
yofus
remember ingwhathadhappeneddur i
ngt he
weekendwassl imtonone.

I
saac:
“whatt
hef
uck?
”
Me:“Iwashi
ghonmol
l
yandIwashor
ny.
”Theyal
l
l
augh.
Noma: “
thatwasthemostentert
aini
ngweekendI
haveeverhad.Havi
ngsexfor8hoursyoh.”weal
l
l
aughatherbecauseshereal
lyhadsomuchenergy
thatt
heguyshehookedupwi thcomplai
ned.
Zah:
“myt
urn.Phi
way
inkosi
trut
hordar
e.”
Phi
wa:
“dar
e.”Weal
lhy
pehi
m.
Zah:“Idareyoutot akeof
fyourshir
tandshowus
them abs.”hestandsupandt akesoffhi
sshir
t.
Damnhegott he8-pack.Zahfanshersel
fwit
hher
hand.“It
’sgett
inghotupinher e.
”wealll
augh.He
wearshisshirtagainandsit
sdown.

Phumudzo:
“okayNomat
rut
hordar
e?”
Noma:“
dar
e.”Shei
snotscar
edoft
heunknownt
his
one.
Phumudzo:“
Idareyoutodancet
oBey
oncé’
sdance
fory
oufor10seconds.
”
Noma:
“hi
tthemusi
c.Don’
tgethar
dboy
s.”The
musicstar
tsplay
ing,
shegetsontopofthet
abl
e
andstar
tsdir
tydanci
ng.10secondsl
apseandal
l
themen’sj
awsar eonthefl
oor.

Mbuso:“If
eel
li
ke10secondswast ooli
tt
le.
”Weall
l
augh.Thegamecontinues,somehavekissedand
someonehasgivenanotheralapdance.Kuhot,
ku
rough,
kusweaty
.AndNoma’ stur
ncomes.

Noma:“
pri
nceKuhl
e.”Hechuckl
esandl
ookather
.
“
Trut
hordare.
”
Kuhl
e:“dar
e.”Shegi
vesmeasini
sterl
ook.Shei
s
notthi
nki
ngwhatIthi
nkshei
sthi
nking.Lor
dhave
mercy.

Noma: “IdareyoutokissFut
hyfor30seconds
withoutyourhandstouchi
ngherbody ,
justyourli
ps
doingthewor k.I
fyoufai
ltokeepyourhandsof fher
thenyouoweusahol i
daytoany5st arresor
tin
Mzansi.”
Li
ndsay:“t
hat’
sthel
awy
eri
nyout
alki
ng.Al
way
s
negot
iat
ing.”
Kuhl
e:“
whathappenswhenshet
ouchesme?
”
Noma:“not
hing,
thedar
eisonyounother
.”He
st
andsupandhelpsmestanduptoo.Wefaceeach
ot
her.
Me:“j
ustdon’
tcat
chf
eel
i
ngs.
”Theguy
slaugh.
Kuhl
elooksatNoma.
Kuhl
e:“Ican’
tev
enbr
inghercl
oserbyherwai
st?
”
nomalaughs.
Noma: “
youcanbri
nghercl
osert
oyounowbecause
theki
sshasn’
tbegan.
”Hebri
ngsmeclosert
ohi
m
andthenputhi
shandsinhi
spocket
.
Me:“guy
swer eal
lydeserveahol i
dayneh?
”theyall
agr
eeandKuhlejustchuckles.Iam sogoi
ngto
makehimtouchmeandev encr avemeafter
wards.

Hebri
ngshi
sheaddownandstartskissi
ngme.His
l
ipsar
esocoldandhi
sbreat
histhatofalcohol
.It
t
urnsmeon.Iputmyhandsunderneathhi
sshir
tand
slowl
ycar esshisabs.Ithent akethem outandwr ap
myar msar oundhisneckbr inginghim closer.He
grunt
sandput shi
sarmsar oundmywai standt hen
l
owert hem tomybut t.Thegangcheer s,which
meanswehav eat r
ipahead.West opkissingand
thenstareint
oeachot her’
sey es.Hemout hsan‘ I
l
ov eyou’andIlookathi m shocked.Isitdown, take
mydr i
nkandt akeasip.

Thomas: “doyougi
v eki
ssi
nglessons?Becausethat
wasthemostpassi onat
ekissIhaveeverseen.You
defi
nit
elywatchedboldandthebeauti
fulanddaysof
ourli
veswhi l
ewewer ewatchi
ngcoolcats.”Ij
ust
l
aughandshakemyhead.“ Bythewayit’
sy ourt
urn
Futhy.
”IlookatLeeandsmi l
e,shei
sgoingt opay
forNoma’ ssi
ns.

Me:“Doct
orNkositr
uthordare.Bef
oreyouchoose
j
ustknowthatIknowyourdeepestsecr
etsandIcan
makeyouspil
l.
”
Lee:
“bi
tchy
ouwantmet
ochoosedar
e?Fi
ne
whatever
,dar
e.”Icl
apmyhandsl
i
keaki
dseei
ng
candy.
Me:
“Idar
eyoutotwer
kdi
rect
lyonSbo’
sdi
ck.
”She
smi
l
esandstandsup.
Lee:“that
’seasy
.Sbostandup.
”hestandsupand
standsbehindher.“
Ngicel
aII
zass.Don’
tgethar
d
j
unior.Forhowlong?”

Me: “
40seconds.
”Shenods.Thesongsst art
s
playi
ngandshestar
t sshaki
ngherbooty.Bytheti
me
shefini
shesSboquickl
yrushest
ot hebathr
oom.
Theguy sl
aughathi
m.“ Enoughwit
ht r
uthordare.
Thisgameisint
ense.”

Mabut ho:“youcansayt hatagai

nboss.”Hesay s
withthedeepestv oi
ceIhav eneverheardhimtalk
with.Andt henithitsme, heli
kesLee.Istandupand
headout si
det ogetsomef reshai
rbecauset he
temper at
ureinsidet hehouseishot.Igositbythe
pool anddipmyf eetinsi
de.
Voice:“ar
eweboringy
ou?
”heasksandt
hencome
tositnexttome.
Me:
“whydi
dyougr
abmybut
t?”
Kuhl
e:“
whydi
dyoucar
essmyabs?
”
Me: “
Iwassecur
ingat
ri
pforev
ery
one.What
’sy
our
excuse?
”
Kuhle:
“Ienj
oyedki
ssi
ngy
ouandIwi
shedi
tcoul
dgo
beyondthat
.”
Me:“Kuhl
ey ouar
emar ri
ed.Youcan’ tj
ustwishto
havesexwithmelikethat
.Idon’tknowingl
ysleep
wit
hmar r
iedmen.IfIhavesleptwithamar r
iedman
bef
oreitwasprobablyaoneni ghtst
and.”

Kuhle:“Il
oveyouMaCel e.Ihavetriedignori
ngmy
feel
ingsforyoubutIcan’tanymor e.Thatkisswas
j
ustat i
poft heiceber
g.”Ishakemyheadno.“ Futhy
wedon’ tchoosewhowef al
linl
ov ewith.Iknowy ou
don’tdatebutplease,
”hebringsmecl osert ohim
andhisl i
pscapturemine.Hiskissishy pnoti
zing.He
breaksitbutdoesn’tl
etgoofme.“ Pl
easegi vemea
chancet
ogi
vey
oumyl
ove.
”

Me:“
asyourwhatKuhl
e?Yourmistress?
”Iremove
hi
shandsfr
om mywaist.Hescr
atcheshisheadand
cl
ear
shist
hroat
.
Kuhl
e:“
asmysecondwife.”Il
ookathi
mlooki
ng
downandIj
ustbur
stoutlaughi
ng.
Me:“youhavegottobekiddi
ngme.Wheny ousee
mey ouseesecondbest?Whatmakesy outhinkI
’
d
gi
veupmyf reedom ofhavi
nganydickIwant
anyt
imejusttobeyoursecondwif
e?”Istandupand
hequickl
ystandsupto.

Kuhl
e:“whatIknowist
hatIcan’
tli
vewi
thoutyou.
”I
am t
erminat
ingthi
sconver
sati
onimmediat
ely
.
Me:“
whenar ewegoingtothetri
p?”Iaskwithmy
mostfakesmil
eeverpl
asteredonmyf ace.He
br
eathesoutl
oudandrubhishandst oget
her.
Kuhle:“
Iwil
lgetmyassistantt
obookahot
elf
oryou
guysforthefi
rstweekendofSept
ember
.Wheredo
y
ouwannago?
”
Me:“
Ihav
ealwayswant
edt
ogot
oFancour
tHot
el
whi
chisi
nGeorge.
”
Kuhl
e:“
soFancour
tHot
eli
tis.
”
Me:“don’tfor
gettoinvi
teyourwife.Iwi
l
lalsobeing
adate.”Iheadbackinsi
de.“Guesswhatgood
peopl
e?Wear egoingtoFancourtHoteli
nGeor geon
thefi
rstweekendofSept ember
.”Theyallcheerand
thel
adiesscream.
Theni ghtcontinueswi thmet ryingtomakemi ni
mal
conv ersationwi t
hKuhl e.Her eallypi
ssedmeof f
.
Whenheseesme, heseessomeonewhowi l
lsett
le
forthesecondpl ace?Hecl earlydoesn’tknowme.
Andwhywoul dIt ort
uremy selfbybecomi ngasister
wifet ohi sBarbiewi fe?Andy ouguy sknowhow
royal peoplearedr amatic.They’dtel
lmet obecome
ahousewi fe,
quitwear i
ngpant s,qui
tgoingclubbing
anddr inki
ng.YohIcan’ tdealshame..

#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER16

It
’sMondaymor ni
ngandIam goi ngt oJHBwi thXol
i
andMabut ho.Xolihasbeenincont actwithownerof
thebuil
ding,t
heonei nNorthClif
fandhassecur eda
facetofacemeet i
ngtodayduringlunch, at1pm.
Zamokuhl edri
vesust ot
heairport.Wear eanhour
earl
ysowegot hroughallt
heairpor tpr
oceduresand
thengowai tf
orourf l
i
ghttobecal led.

Xoli
:“howdoesi tfeelst
ayi
nginthesamehouse
wit
hDr .Lee?”shesay sl
ooki
ngatMabut ho.They
havebeent easi
nghi mthewholeweekendbehind
Lee’
sback.Hegr unt
sandputonear phones.Wejust
l
aughathi m.“Wher earewegoingtosleep?”
Me:
“atLel
e’
shouse.
”
Xoli
:“Ithinkyoushouldincl
udemynameandphone
numberi ny ourbusi
nesscardssot
hatwhenpeopl
e
don’
tr eachZah, t
heycanalsocont
actme.
”
Me:“Iam l
ovi
ngthenewy ou.Youarenotheshy
Nomxoli
sianymore.Youar efr
eetospeakyourmind.
Tel
lZahaboutthebusinesscardsthi
ng.”
Xol
i
:“sur
eboss.
”

Ani deacomest omymi ndwhi l

esitti
ngt here,Itake
outmynot ebookandpenci l andstartdrawi ng.Itol
d
youonceIst artdrawi
ngIdi sappeartomyownwor ld.
XolishakesmeandIl ookather .“
Ourf li
ghti sbeing
call
ed.”Ilookatt heti
meonmywat ch, t
het imeto
boar dtheplanehasar ri
v ed.Mabut hoi salready
standingwi t
hourbagsonhi shands.Icl osemy
notebook, standupandst retchmyar ms.Wego
boar dtheplaneat7am andassoonasIam set tl
ed
i
nIcont i
nuewher eIleftoffwi thmydr awing.Af t
er
anhourorsoaf li
ghtattendantannouncest hatwe
willbelandingshor t
ly.
Wef i
nall
ylandatt heORTamboai rpor
tandhead
outsi
de.Mabut holeadsustot heparki
nglot.Her
eI
thoughtwewer ejustgoi
ngt ouseUber .Aman
handshim carkeysandt henleaves.Mabuthoopens
thedoorforme, icli
mbinandXol ialsocl
imbsinon
theotherside.Heputsthebagsi nthebootandget
onthedriverseat.

Me:“whosecari
sthi
s?”Mabut
hodr
ivesoutoft
he
ai
rpor
t.
Xoli
:“ar
ental
.If
igur
edy
oudon’
thav
eacarher
esoI
rent
edit
.”
Me:
“Ihopey
oudi
dn’
tusey
ourmoney
.”
Xoli
:“wel
lIki
ndadi
d.Idon’
thaveaccesst
oyour
moneyandIdon’twantt
heaccess.
”Shespeaksso
fast
.
Me: “pl
easer
emindmetoopenabankaccountf or
suchexpenses.
”Shenods.“What
’syouraccount
numberandhowmuchmoneydi dyouuse?”she
answersandIquickl
ymakethetr
ansfer
.“Nextti
me
pleaseuseyourmoneyi
fit
’sanemergency.”
Xol
i
:“y
esboss.
”
Me:“l
etmej
ustappl
yforacar
dnowandwi
l
lcol
l
ect
i
ttomorr
ow.
”
Mabut
ho:
“bosswher
ear
egoi
ng?
”
Me:“j
ustdri
vet
oRandburg.Iwi
l
ldi
recty
out
oLel
e’
s
houseoncewegett
here.
”

Ilovethatthel adyIam meet ingi sclosertoLele’s

place.Icontinueappl yi
ngfort hecar d.AfterIam
doneappl yi
ngf ori
tIsitbackandj ustclosemyey es.
Mymi nddriftbackt otheconv ersationIhadwi th
KuhleonFr iday .Kuhleisdefi
nitelyshi t
ti
ngonme.
Her eall
ythinksIwi llj
ustagreet obehi ssecondwi fe
wher easIhav en’teventhoughtofget ti
ngmar ri
ed
eversinceIst artedDCC.Roy al peopl ereal
lythi
nk
theyar eenti
tledorsomet hing.Whi l
eIam t hi
nkingI
j
ustdr if
ttodeepsl umber.

‘
Khokho:
“hei
snear
.”
Me:
“whatar
eyout
alki
ngaboutKhokho?
”
Khokho:“
theyhav
echosenhi
mfory
ou.Hei
s
coming.
”
Me:“canyoupleasest
opt al
ki
nginr
iddl
es?Speaki
n
cl
earsent
ences.”Shechuckl
es.
Khokho:
“youarejustl
i
key
ourgr
eat
-gr
andf
ather
.
For
everi
mpatient
.”
Me:“howcanInotbeimpat
ient
?Youaresupposed
t
owar nmeanddeli
vermessagesnotpr
overbsand
r
iddl
es.”
…
Voi
ce:“Fut
hywakeup.
”’t
heper
sonshakesmehar
d
andIopenmyeyes.

Me:
“what
’sup?
”
Xol
i
:“wehav
ear
ri
vedi
nRandbur
g.”
Me: “ohhokay .
”IsitupanddirectMabut ho.Weget
toLele’shouseat9am andheadi nsi
de.I tlooks
cleanandt hereisnodustmeani ngmay behehi red
someonet ocleanhishouse.“Ineedtofinish
somet hingquickl
y.Youcanmakey ourselves
comf ort
able.Youcanev enorderorcook.Youcan
al
sor
esti
nanyoft
her
oomsdownst
air
s.”

Iheadt omyr oom.Iplacemybagont hebed.It ake

offmycoat ,heelsandalsoplacethem i nthebed.I
takeoutmynot ebookandpencil.Ihaveadr awing
boar dwithastandandt r
acingpaperher e.Ial
so
hav ethatcomboathome, i
nMor ningside.Isi
tin
frontofthedeskandst artsket
chingwhatIhav e
alreadystart
edonmynot ebook.Someoneknocks
ont hedoorwhi l
eIam halfwaythrought hesketch.

Me:
“comei
n.”Xol
ipeepsi
n.
Xol
i
:“it
’s12:
30.Comeeatsothatwecanl
eav
e.”For
metimestandssti
l
lwhenIam sket
chi
ng.
Me:
“thanky
ou.
”Shecl
osest
hedoor
.

Istandup,putonmycoat ,heel
s,takemybagand
headdownst ai
rs.Lele’
shousehas3bedr ooms
upstai
rsand2bedr oomsdownstair
s.Igettot
he
ki
tchenandf i
ndt hese2eati
ng.Xoligi
vesmef ood
andIal soeat.Wef inisheatingandt hendr i
vetothe
meetingv enue.Themeet ingisact uallyatthe
buil
dingIam i nterest edinbuy ing.Ay ounglady
meetsusatt heent ranceandl eadsust othe
boardroom whi chi satt hegroundf l
oor .Wegetand
getsettled.2mi nut eslateral adywhol ooksli
keshe
i
sinherear l
yfor t
iesget sinf ollowedbywhom I
suspecti sherassi stant.

Mrs.Coll
ins:
“ Mi
ssCele.
”Shesmi l
esandstr
etches
herhand.Istandupandshakeherhand,shealso
off
ersXoliahandshake.Shethensit
sdown.“CanI
off
eryousomet hi
ngtodrink?
”
Me:
“wat
eri
sfi
neMr
s.Col
l
ins.
”
Mrs.Col
l
ins:“
pleasecal
lmeGr
ace.
”Shesay
swi
tha
pol
it
esmile.
Me:
“cany
oual
socal
lmeFut
hy?
”shechuckl
es.
Grace:
“fairenough.Soy
ouar
eint
erest
edi
nbuy
ing
t
hisbuil
ding?”
Xol
i
:“y
eswear
e.”
Gr
ace:
“howmuchar
eyouof
fer
ing?
”
Xol
i
:“namey
ourpr
ice.
”
Gr
ace:
“okay
.R6.
5mi
l
li
on.
”Myey
esnear
lypopout
.
Me:
“why
?”
Grace:“youst i
l
lhav et
ofurni
shi
t,changepaints,
renovateifyoulike.Myli
neofworkisnotproperty
soIdon’ tseeaneedf ormetochargetoomuchf or
abui l
ding.Iam alsohuman.Theprevi
ousowner
alsosoldt hi
sbuildi
ngtomeatanunbel i
evable
price.
”

Me:“wowokay.Youcansetupthepaperwor
kand
cont
ractandy
oucanforwardi
ttomyl awyer
.”
Grace’
sPA:“what
’sheremailaddr
ess?
”Iexhal
eout
l
oud.Isti
l
lcan’
tbeli
evethi
s.
Grace:“youbet
terbel
ievei
tFuthy.Thisist
he
chapterIwannacloseinmylif
er i
ghtnow.”She
pronouncesmynamel i
keFootea.Ichuckl
e.
Me:“i
t’
sadv
nbi
yel
a1@gmai
l
.com”t
hePAj
otsi
t
down.
Grace:“
Iguesst hatconcl
udesourmeet i
ng.Shewi
ll
sendthecontractassoonaspossi bl
e.Youwill
recei
vethetit
ledeedaf t
erthepaymenthasbeen
made.Itwasni cedoingbusinesswit
hyouMs.Futhy
andMs.X. ”shestandsupandweexchange
handshakes.
Me:“i
twasapl
easur
emeetingyouGr
ace.Ihopewe
canworkt
oget
heri
nthef
uture.
”
Grace:
“metoo.Pleasedoi
nvi
temewheny
ouf
inal
l
y
l
aunchthi
sbranch.”
Me:“y
ouwil
lbethefi
rstonetorecei
vet
heinv
ite.
”
Shesmil
esandweallheadout.Wegettot
hecar.
“Di
dyouguysbuygr
oceries?
”

Xol
i
:“no.weonl
yboughtt
akeout
.”
Me: “MabuthodrivetoNorthgat
e.Wewil
lbuyf
ood
there.Andalsoonebot t
leofchampagnet
o
celebrat
ejustforcontr
ol.
”Xoligi
ggl
es.
Xoli
:“Gr
acei
sgenerous.Li
keIwasexpect
ingherto
sayR13mill
i
on.That’
swheremostofthebuil
dingsI
haveseenr
angeat
,somerangehigher
.R6.
5mi
l
li
on,
that
’st
heval
ueofyourpar
ent
s’house.
”

Me:“
Iknowri
ght
.Iam st
il
lshocked.If
eel
li
ket
hisi
s
someki
ndofaprank.
”
Xoli
:“y
ouwer ej
ustl
uckyboss.Youshoul
dthank
yourancest
ors.
”
Me:“def
ini
tely
.Theydeserveaf
atgoat.
”Theyboth
l
augh.Ir
eallyneedtoappeasemyancestor
sbefor
eI
openboththesebui
ldi
ngs.

Wegett ot
hemal landgeti nsi
de.Weshopf or
groceryandthenheadt other est
auranttograba
bi
te.Weent erandIseeamanwhoi sabouttoexit.
Hisey esar
eonhi sphone, hedoesn’tseewherehe
i
sgoi ng.Ij
uststandandwhenhei sabouttopass
meIt aphisshoulder.Hejustsay ssorr
yand
conti
nuewal ki
ng.Ichuckle.“Dr.Hlongwa!
”her ai
ses
hi
sheadandt ur
ns.Hej ustlaughswhenhi seyes
l
andonme.
Hlongwa:
“Myfavour
it
est
udent
.”Hecomesand
hugsme.“Longt
imenosee.
”
Me:“youal
sowouldn’
thaveseenmei
fIdi
dn’
tcal
l
outy
ourname.”helaughsagai
n.
Hlongwa:“
stopbei
ngdramat
ic.Howaboutyou
i
ntroducemetoyourf
ri
ends?
”hesayslooki
ng
behindme.
Me:
“ar
en’
tyoui
nahur
ry?
”
Hl
ongwa:
“fory
ouIcanspar
e5mi
nut
es.
”
Me: “l
et’ssitdownt hen.
”Awaiterl
eadsust oat able
offour.Wepl aceourorder
sandDr.Hlongwaonl y
ordersjuice.“ThisisNomxoli
simyassistantand
Mabut homybody guar
d.Andguysthi
sisPr ofessor
LethukuthulaHl ongwa,myformerl
ecturerand
employ er.
”
Xol
i
:“y
ouhi
redy
ourownst
udent
?”
Hlongwa:“
shehadsomuchpotent
ial
.Icoul
dn’
t
misstheoppor
tuni
tyoft
aki
ngherundermywing
andmentori
ngher.
”
Mabutho:“
howdidy ouf
eel
whenshesai
dshe
want
edt ostar
therowncompany
?”
Hlongwa:“sheisl
ikeachi
ldt
ome.Sot omei tf
elt
l
ikemychi l
disaskingf
orablessi
ngt opursueher
dreams.Igaveherthebl
essi
ngwhol eheart
edly
becauseasmuchasshewasdoi nggreatthingsin
mycompany ,
Iknewshewasdest i
nedf orgreat
er
thi
ngs.”

Xol
i
:“y
ou’
resoki
nd.
”Hebl
ushesandl
ooksdown.
Hl
ongwa:“
Itr
y.Sohowl
ongar
eyougoi
ngt
obeher
e
i
nJozi
?”
Me:
“why
?”hel
aughs.
Hlongwa:“theyarehostingacelebr
atorydi
nnert o
honormeatWi tsonFridaysoifyou’r
esti
llhere,no
youaredefinit
elycoming.”Il
aughbecauset hat’
san
order
.“Ishouldalsofl
auntmyment eeinfr
ontof
thosehater
s.”Weal ll
augh.

Me:
“Iwi
l
ltr
y.”
Hlongwa: “
nodon’ttry,
bether
e.Iwil
lal
sotel
lmy
wifethatIsawy ou.
”Hisphonebeeps.“
Seeyouon
Fri
daynight.”Hekissesmycheekandthenheads
out.

Mabutho:“IhaveheardaboutthisguyandIhav e
seenhiminmagazi nesandnewspaper s.Ithought
hewasser iousandallst
ri
ct.Guessyour eall
y
shoul
dn’tjudgeabookbyi t
scov er
.”Ourf oodarr
ives
andwest arteat
ing.
Xol
i
:“soar
eyougoi
ngt
othedi
nner
?”
Me: “
youwannaseeWits?
”shesmi
l
esandnods.
“Wear el
eavi
ngtomor
rowbutwewi
llcomebackon
Fri
daymidday.
”

Wef i
nisheat
ing,Isettl
et hebil
landt henwehead
backtoLele’
shouse.It akeashowerandj ustweara
shortsummerdr ess.Isitintheloungewat chingTV.
Xoli
comesi nandt ell
smet hatIhaveav isit
or.A
vi
sit
or?InJozi?Yohnewst r
avel
sf ast.It
ellherto
sendtheguestin.shedi sappearsandcomeback
wit
hSandil
e.Ij
ustl
aughandstandup.Imeethi
m
hal
fwayandweshareahugandaki ss.Hesi
tsdown
andpul
lsmet osi
tontopofhi
m.

Me: “
don’tcrytomewheny oust andupanddon’ t
feely
ourjointsbecauseIam heavy.
”Hel aughsand
plant
skissesinmyneck.Ijustgiggle.“
Howdi dyou
knowt hatIwasinJozi?”

Sandi
l
e:“
Ifel
tit
.”Ir
oll
myey
es.
Me:
“youst
alkedme.
”
Sandi
l
e:“
what
evert
hatmakesy
ousl
eepwel
lat
ni
ght.
”
Me:“
you’r
ebrav
e.Whati
fyouf
oundmewi
thanot
her
manhere?”
Sandi
le:
“Iwould’
vejoi
nedyouforathr
eesome.”I
l
aughandburymyheadi nhisshoul
der.“
Iam t
aki
ng
yououtfordi
nnertoni
ght
.”
Me:“
youfi
nal
lygett
hedinnerdateyouhavebeen
l
ongi
ngfor
.”Hechuckl
es.“Let
’sgochil
li
nmyr oom.
”
weheadt her
e,hesi
tsonthebed.Iseethesket
ches,
Iquickl
ywrapthem andputt
hem onthestor
age
tube.
Sandi
l
e:“
youar
eev
enwor
kingher
e?”
Me:“
resti
sfort
hedead.Myancest
orswork
ov
ert
imeandtheyal
waysgi
vemei deas.
”
Sandi
l
e:“
comeher
e.”

Igoandsi tontopofhim.Hel eansinforthekiss,

ourli
psl i
ngerf orafewseconds,andthenIopenmy
mouthandaccepthi stongue.Thekississodeep
andpassi onate.Iam weakenedbyit.Isqueezehi m
ti
ghtasourt onguesdancebackandf orth,andIcan
feel
hi sdickgrowing,Iam sowetrightnow.Ibr eak
thekissandpushhi mtolieonthebed.

Itakeof fmydressandthelookonhi
sfaceis
exactlywhatIwashopingfor.It
akehi
sonehandi n
mi neandmov eituptocovermyonebreast
.My
nippleishar
dasst oneandbeggingf
oranytouch
ri
ghtnow.Igr i
ndmyhi psintohi
serecti
onandmoan,
i
tf eelssogood.Heiswear i
ngsweatpantssoIjust
pull t
hem downandt heysli
dedownhislegs.He
takesof fhi
st-shi
rtt
oo.Hisupperbodyiscover
edin
tattoos.Tat
toosareat ur
noffbuthi
saresohot.

Hesi tsupandt akeonebr eastandstartssucki

ngi t
.
Imoanl oudandgr i
ndhar deronhiserecti
on.He
switchesont otheot herbreast
.OhhGod, t
he
pleasureIam feeli
ngr i
ghtnowi sonanot herl
evel.I
j
ustt akehisdickandputi tinsi
deme, thewayitfil
ls
meup, DearGodIseet heheavensopening.After2
roundswef i
nall
ylayont hebedt r
yingtocatchour
breaths.
Sandi
le:
“andhereIt
houghtIwasgoi
ngt
owai tfor
youunti
lyou’
rer
eadyforustobei
nti
mat
e.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“Iam notyour90-
day
-rul
egi
rlor5dat
esbef
ore
sexkindagi
rl
.”Hechuckl
es.
Sandi
l
e:“
wel
lIknowt
hatnow.
”Isi
tup.
Me:“l
et’
sgotakeashowerandy
ouleav
esothatI
canprepar
efort
hedate.
”Wegoshowerandhave
anotherr
ound.Weseem tobeaddict
edt oeach
other.Wefi
nishshower
ing,
hegetsdressedand
thenleav
es.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER17

SinceIdon’thaveanappr opri
atedressIwearmy
dressagainandaskMabut hotodriveme
NoluthandoNt ul
i’
sboutique.Wel eaveXolii
nt he
house,cooking.Wear r
ivet hereandwegetl ucky
becausewef i
ndhertalkingtoacust omer.She
fi
nishestheconv er
sati
onandcomest oourdirect
ion.
Sheismuchmor ebeautifuli
npersonandherst yl
e
i
ssosophi sticat
ed.

Noluh:
“welcomet
oNol
uh’
sbout
ique.HowmayIbe
ofassi
stance?
”
Me:“Iam FuthyCel
e.Iam superexci
tedt
obe
hel
pedbyt heowner.
”Shechuckles.
Nol
uh:
“wel
lwhatdoy
ouneed?
”
Me:“afuckbuddyofmineist
aki
ngmeoutonadat
e
andIdon’thav
eanythi
ngtowear
.”Shel
aughs.
Noluh: “
youhav ecometotherightpl
ace.Pl
ease
foll
owme. ”If
oll
owherandsheget stothepl
ussize
section.Iam amazed.Thedressesaresobeaut
if
ul,
elegant,sexyandstyl
i
sh.
Me:“
wow.Iam soi
mpressed.Il
it
eral
lyl
ove
ev
ery
thi
ngher
e.Whatdoy ousuggestIt
ake?”
Nol
uh:
“youwantadr
essorpant
s?”
Me:“
adresswil
ldo.
”Shepicksasequi
nsmermai
d
ev
eni
ngdresswit
hshortsl
eevesandtur
nst
olookat
mewithasmil
eonherface.
Nol
uh:
“whatdoy
out
hink?
”
Me:“Ial
readyfeell
i
keapr
incessbef
oreIev
enputi
t
on.
”Shel aughs.
Noluh:“
well
thefi
tt
ingroom i
sthr
oughthatdoor
.I
wil
lbri
ngyoumatchingheel
sandjewel
ry.What’
s
yourshoesi
ze?”

Me:
“5.
”Shehandsmet
hedr
essandIgot
othe
fi
tti
ngr oom.Shecomeswi thblackdi amant e
embellishedstr
appedst i
let
toheel s,Ithankherand
closethedoor.Ifi
rstweart heshoes, they
complementmyt oes, sobeaut if
ul,andIt henputon
thedress.FuckIlookl ikeagoddess.It wirlanddoa
360andont hemirror.Sandi l
e’
sj awswi lldroptot
he
fl
oor.Icomeoutoft hef i
tti
ngr oom andNol uhand
Mabut hoclaphandsf orme.

Mabut
ho:“bossl
adyarey
ousur
eyou’
renotgoi
ngt
o
t
heawards?”Il
augh.
Nol
uh:“
youlookreal
lybeaut
if
ul.Theseear
ri
ngsand
pur
sewil
ldefi
nit
elymatch.
”Shehandsthethi
ngsto
Mabut
ho.
Me: “
lemmequi ckl
ychange. ”Igobacktothefi
tti
ng,
changebackt omydr essandt hengetout
.“Noluh
thankyousomuchf orhelpi
ngme.Ial sowanta
dressforFr
idaynight.Ihavebeeninvi
tedtoadinner
i
nWi ts.
”
Noluh:
“ Iknowyourbodytypeandyoursizeand
shoesize.Leav
ey ouraddr
essattheti
ll
.Iwil
l
choosefory
ouandhavethei
temsdel
i
ver
edt
oyour
house.Youwil
lpayondel
i
ver
y.”

Me:“thankyousomuch.”Igotot
het
il
l,
payfort
he
cl
othes,leav
emyaddressther
eandMabut
hoandI
headout.

Wegett othehouse.It akeashowerandt hensiti n

frontofthetable.Icombmyhai r
, t
ieitint
oaneat
bunt henputanar t
if
icialafrobun.Idomymake- up
andt hengetdressed.Iam goi ngt oadi nnerin
publicwithacel ebri
ty.SoIhav etodr essthepar t.By
thewayIl ooksobeaut ifulandIf eelbeautif
ul.Itake
myphoneandt akeaf ewsel f
ies.Ithendoa
conferencevideocal lwi t
hmyf ri
ends.Theybot h
scream outloudwhent heyanswert hecall.

Noma:“
bitchy
oudidn’
ttel
lmey
ou’
regoi
ngt
oan
awar
dceremony.
”
Lee:
“mi
naIev
enl
i
vewi
thherbutshedi
dn’
ttel
lme
t
hatshei
sat
tendi
ngt
heseawar
ds.
”Il
aughatt
hem.
Me:
“Iam goi
ngonadat
ewi
thSandi
l
e.”
Noma:
“whyar
edr
essedupt
hismuch?
”
Me:“
bit
chIfeel
off
endedr
ightnow.Don’
tIal
way
s
dr
essup?”
Lee:“t
hisi
sanewdress.Ihav
enev erseeni
tbefor
e.
Youareweari
nganewdr essforSandi
le.Am It
he
onlyoneseei
ngt
his?
”
Noma:“you’
renot
.It
hinkthisguyhascomet
otake
ourst
ri
kerofft
hegame.”Ilaugh.
Me:“youguysarecrazy.Anyway
shisdi
ckgame
bahl
ali
,Imightkeephim ar
oundforawhi
le.
”Il
i
ck
myli
ps.

Lee:“
shutt
hefrontdoor
.Yougav
ehi
mthecooki
e
befor
ethedat
e?”
Me:
“kant
iwhoam Int
ombazane?
”shel
aughs.
Noma:“
youactl
i
keaguysomet
imes.Howmany
r
oundsdi
dyougivehi
m?”
Me:
“Jesuswokeupaf
terhowmanyday
s?”
Lee:
“youneedat
rophygi
rl
.”
Noma:“f
orgett
het
rophy
,sheneedsacr
own.
”Xol
i
ent
ersmyroom.

Xol
i:“
bossl
adyy
ourdat
eishere.
”It
urnandl
ookat
her
.“OMG!Youl
ookst
unni
ng.”
Me: “
thankyou.Iwi l
lchatwit
hyoulaterguys.
”Ihang
up.Itakemypur seandheaddownst air
s.Sandil
eis
chatt
ingwithMabut ho.Myheelsdi
sturbtheir
conversat
ionsot heyturnandst
areatme.Sandi l
e
cl
earshisthroat
.

Mabutho:“
youl
ookbeaut
if
ulbosslady.Youare
goi
ngtomakeourgir
lf
ri
endsjeal
ousforbeingwit
h
you24/7.
”
Xol
i:“
whi
chgi
rl
fr
iends?
”shesay
sbehi
ndmeandI
l
augh.
Sandi
le:
“youl
ookbeaut
if
ulmyl
ady
.”Ismi
l
eandgo
tohi
m.
Me:“seey
ouafterhour
ski
ds.Behav
e.”Mabut
hoand
Xol
ibothl
augh.
Mabut
ho:
“youhav
ebody
guar
dsNt
uli
?”
Sandi
l
e:“y
esandadriv
er.Don’
twor
ryshei
ssaf
e
wit
hMe.”henodsandweheadout.

Heisridi
ngawhi teRangeRov er
SVAUTOBI OGRAPHYDy namicLWB.Whatamachi ne.
Heopenst hebackdoorf ormeandIcli
mbi n.he
al
sogetint heot
herdoorandt hecardr
ivesout.
Therearetwogent lemenatthefr
ont
.Iguessit’
sthe
dri
verandtheguar d.Hetakesmyhandandki ssesit.
Ij
ustlookathim andsmi l
e.

WhenIf inall
ydecidetoendwhat everthatis
happeni ngbet weenusIcanalreadyf oreseedr ama.
Wegett ot herestaur
antandweheadi nside.People
arealreadyst arr
ingatuswhenwewal kin,remi ndi
ng
meoft her easonswhyIdon’tassociatewi t
h
celebri
tiessomet imes.Thewaiterleadsust oour
table,
wesi tandshel eav
esaftertakingouror ders.
Sandil
e:“
your
eall
ylookst
unni
ngNombedu,
Khumbuza,Magaye.
”YohIbl
ushl
ikecr
azy.When
someonesaysmyclannameguysyouknowthe
stor
ymann.
Me:“Iam pr
ett
ysur
eyougoogl
edt
hem onourway
her
e.”
Sandi
le:“Iam aZuluman,gi
vemesomecr
edi
t
pl
ease.”Iint
ernal
l
yr ol
lmyeyes.
Me:“whenwasthel
astti
mey ouwer
eina
r
elat
ionshi
pandwhathappened?
”
Sandi
l
e:“3mont
hsago.Shecheat
ed,
gotpr
egnant
andtr
iedt
opint
hepregnancyonme.
”
Me:
“damnt
hat
’scr
uel
.”

Sandil
e:“i
tisareal
it
y.”Heshrugs.Hethenscrat
ches
hishead.“Wedidn’
tuseprotect
ionearl
ieron.
”I
l
aughi nt
ernal
ly
,shamehewashopi nghescoreson
thi
sfir
sttry.
Me:“don’
tgetexcit
edbro.IhaveanI
UDwhi ch
st
andsforInt
rauter
ineDevi
ce.Iwon’
ttel
lyouwhati
t
i
sorwhati
tdoes.I
fyouwannaknowabouti
tthen
y
ouwil
lhavet
odor esear
ch.
”Hesighs.

Sandi
l
e:“Iwoul
dn’
thav
emi
ndedi
fyouwer
ecar
ryi
ng
mychil
d.”
Me:“
toosoonmfet
hu.”Ourf
oodarr
ivesandwest
art
di
ggi
ngin.“
Soyougrewuphere?
”
Sandile:
“no.myf amilyisor i
ginall
yfrom Esikhawi
ni.
Somest ayinMzi ngazi.Wemov edherewhenour
fatherwantedtogr owhi slabelbutitallstart
edin
Esikhawini
.”Inod.“Mom i sfrom KwaHl abisa
though.Shecamet ost udyatuMf ol
oziCollagei
nthe
EsikhawiniCampusandshemetdad.Dadwasa
rapperandapr oducerbackt hen.”Ichuckleabit.

Ihaveseenthei
rfatheronsomeoccasi onsbefore
hediedandhewasn’ tthet
ypeofmanwhowoul d
j
ustrap.Hehasanaur aaroundhimt hat
commandedr espect.Whenhestart
edhi slabel
,he
neverpr
oducedasongwher ehewast heone
rappi
ng.Iguessashegr ewup,hedidn’twanttobe
ast
arany
mor
ebutwant
edt
ohel
pbui
l
dst
ars.

Me:
“whocoul
dhav
ethought
?”
Sandi
le:“
hewasamyst
eryashegr
ewol
der
.What
aboutyourf
ami
ly
?”
Me: “
wehav eahomei nNdwedwewhereour
grandparent
sli
ve.I
t’
swheredadgrewup.Igr
ewup
atMor ni
ngsi
dewithmy4sibli
ngs,
2gir
lsand2
boys.”
Sandil
e:“
howisy
ourr
elat
ionshi
pwi
thy
oursi
ster
s?”
Ifakeasmil
e.
Me:
“wegetal
ong.
”
Sandi l
e: “
Ihardlyseey oupostingthem orpict
uresof
youguy stogether.Youal wayspostyourfri
ends.
Don’ ttheyli
kebeingpost edbythei
rsuccessful
sisteronhersoci almedi a?”Ideci
detoshiftthe
attentiontohim hav i
ngknowl edgeofwhoIpostand
don’ tpostonmyaccount s.

Me:
“ar
eyouani
nter
netst
alker
?”
Sandi
l
e:“
who?Me?No!Iam j
ustkeepi
ngupwitht
he
womanIlov
e.”f
uckhel
ovesme.That’
snotgood.
Me:“
yeahri
ght
.”Ir
oll
myey
esandt
akeasi
patmy
whi
tewine.

Sandil
e:“atwhatagearey ouplanni
ngonget
ting
marri
ed?”Iam real
lystar
ti
ngt ohatethemar
ri
age
topi
c.Fir
stitwasKuhle,nowhim.
Me: “
notanytimesoon.Iam ont hever
geof
expandingmycompany .Iam planni
ngont aki
ng
overMzansi somarri
agei sthelastthi
ngonmy
mindrightnow.”Hisfacialexpr
essionchanges.He
i
ssomehowhur tbymyr esponse.Hewi l
lbestr
ong.
“Whenar eyouplanni
ngonget t
ingmar r
ied?”

Sandi
le:
“whenthel
oveofmyli
fef
ini
shest
aki
ng
overt
heworld.
”Il
aughathi
m.
Me:“
Ihavehadenoughmar
ri
aget
alkt
heseday
s.
CanIj
ustrestt
uh?
”
Sandi
l
e:“
didsomeonepr
oposet
oyou?
”heasksso
f
astbef
orehecanev
enst
ophi
msel
f.
Me:
“may
be,
may
benot
.”

Themoodar oundt het abl

ebecomest ensebutafter
af ewdr i
nksi tchangesbackt onormal.Theli
ve
bandi splayingsoot hingjazz.Theatmosphereand
thev i
bei nther estaurantissochi ll
edandnice.
Ther eare3coupl essl owdanci ngatthedancef l
oor.
Sandi l
elooksatt hem andt henlooksatmewi th
pleadingey es.No, Iam notaboutt odancewithhim
i
npubl i
c.Iam notaboutt ohav eanotherMvelosaga.
Hest andsupandex tendshi shand.Hei sdr
awing
attenti
ont omer ightnow.
Me:
“Ihat
eyousomuch.
”Hechuckl
es.
Sandi
l
e:“
MissCel
emayIhav
ethi
sdance?
”
Me:
“no.
”
Sandil
e:“y
ouwantmet
okneeli
nfrontofy
ouand
gi
v epeopl
ethewr
ongi
mpressi
on?
”Icurseundermy
breat
h.
Me:
“what
everSandi
l
e.”
Istandupandputmyhandi nhis.Heleadsmet o
thedancef l
oorandwest artmov i
ngslowlytot he
musi c.Wedancesl owlywhi l
eholdingeachot her
.I
wishIcoul dsayt hi
sf eelsheav enlyandmagi calbut
I’
dbel ying.Itdoesfeel goodt houghandcomf ort
ing.
Wef inall
ystopdanci ng.Wegobackt othetableand
heset tl
esthebi l
l.Wel eav etherestaurant
.Hedr i
ves
mebackhomeandwal ksmet othedoor .
Sandil
e:“canIcompl ementy
ouf orthel
astti
me
toni
ght?”Ichuckleandnod.“Youlookabsol
utel
y
radi
antMi ssCeleandthankyouforagreei
ngtogo
outwithme. ”
Me:“i
twasmypl easureandIenj
oyedt
onight
.”He
pul
l
smecl osert
ohi m andweshareaki
ss.
Sandi
l
e:“
goodni
ght
.”
Me:“nightMr.Ntul
i
.”Igeti
nsi
det
hehouseandI
hearthecardri
vi
ngout .
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER18

Iam sit
ti
ngi nmyof fi
ce,i
t’
saWednesdaymor ning,
whenIsuddenl yfeell
ikegoi
ngtoasi t
eand
checki
ngoutt hewor koftheconst
ructi
onwor kers.I
al
way sgot osi t
eev er
yonceinawhi l
ebutIarrive
unexpectedl
y .Idecideonwhichsit
et ovi
sitandI
j
usttakemyphoneandwal l
etandthenheadout .

Thobeka:
“bossl
adywher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
”
Me:“
tot
heNandamallsi
te.Iwannacheckont
he
pr
ogr
essoft
heworker
s.”
Thobeka:
“ohhokay
.”

Weheadoutandwedri
vetot
hesit
e.Whenweget
t
her
ewegetoutofthecar
.Wearehandedsaf
ety
hatsandjacket
s.Wegot othesit
emanager ’soff
ice
andalongthewayIseeaf ewnewf aces.Iknowal l
myempl oyees,
wheneverHRhiressomeonet hey
comet omyof f
icet
ointr
oducethatperson.
AnywaysIgettothesi
temanager ’
soffi
ceandhei s
shockedtoseeme.

Me:“mor
ningSi
yanda.Youl
ookshockedt
oseeme.
”
Igr
eetwi
thasmile.
Siy
anda: “
Iam notshockedbossl
ady
,Iam j
ust
surpr
ised.
”
Me: “
youar
esurpri
sedory
oudi
dn’
tgett
imet
ohi
de
youroff
spr
ing’
s?”
Si
yanda:
“Idon’
tknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout
bossl
ady.”
Me:“Iam notafoolSiy
anda.Iknowever
yonewho
workforDCC, ev
encleaner
s,sodon’
tbul
lshi
tme.So
whatelsehasbeenhappeningundermynose?
Wheredidyougetthemoneyt opayyour
employees?”Isi
tdownoppositehi
m.
Si
yanda:
“Iam sor
ryboss.
”
Me:
“youar
esor
ryf
orwhat
?Il
l
egal
l
yhi
ri
ngpeopl
e?”
Siyanda:
“theyarequal
i
fiedboss.Ij
ustdi
dn’
tfol
l
ow
procedur
ei nhi
ri
ngthem.Wewer eshortst
aff
ed
and…”
Me: “
whodidyoutel
lthatwewer eshortstaf
fed?We
haveabout60const
ructionworkersandweal ways
hir
eaf ewwhentheprojectishuge.Whydidn’
ty ou
i
nform HRoryourpr
ojectmanagert haty
oudon’ t
haveenoughworker
s?Whydi dyoutakeadecision
thati
snotmeanttobet akenbyy ou?Whyarey ou
undermini
ngmyauthori
t y?Youwantmet ofir
ey ou?”

Si
yanda:
“no,
Iam v
erysor
ryboss.
”
Me: “
Idon’twannaseet hoseguy si
nmysi te.I
fIfi
nd
outthatyouarerelatedt othem ortheyar
ey our
fr
iendsalsoconsidery oursel
ffi
red.Youarealso
demot edwit
himmedi ateeffect
.Nowgett owor k.
”
Hest andsuphesitantlyandheadsout .It
akeoutmy
phoneandcal l
Zah.
Zah:
“bossl
ady
.”
Me: “
tell
theNandamal l
proj
ectmanagertoassigna
newsi t
emanagerforthi
sproj
ecti
mmedi atel
y.The
otheronewasbull
shit
ingmeandpracti
call
y
underminingme.
”
Zah:
“ohhokay
.”
Me: “
alsotellHRt
osendhi
m awrit
tenwarningby
theendoft odayf
orhi
ri
ngpeopl
ewithoutt
heright
procedure.
”
Zah:
“howdi
dthathappen?
”
Me:“
Ial
sodon’tknow.Wewi
l
ltal
kwhenIgetback
t
otheof
fice.
”
Zah:
“okayboss.
”Ihangupandbr
eat
heoutl
oud.

Ithenstandupandheadout .Igettowher eThobeka

andMabut hoareandweal lheadtot hecar.Weare
ri
dinginonecartoday.If
eelmi norpaininmylower
abdomen.Ijustclenchmyjawsandpr aythati
tgoes
away.Itsubsi
desaf t
erafewmi nutesandIdo
breat
hingexerci
ses.
Me:“Zamokuhlewear
enowheadedt
o
Mandlanzi
ni.
”
Zamokuhl
e:“
sur
eboss.Ar
eyouokay
?”
Me:“
don’
tworryaboutme.Iwi
l
lbef
ine.
”Henods
andt
henstar
tstheengi
ne.

Aft
erabout2hour swear r
iveatMandl anzi
ni.We
headtot hesi
teandwear egivent hesaf et
ygear.At
l
easttherearenonewf acesher e.Igoar ound
i
nspectingthehouse.WhenIam doneIgot ot
he
contai
nernearthegatewheret hesi t
emanageri sat.
Assoonassheseesmeshest andsupwi thasmile
onherface.ThatiswhatIwantt oseewhenIgett o
asit
e,themanagersmi l
ingandgr eeti
ngmewi t
ha
happyface.

Ret
habil
e:“
bossl
ady.Soniceofyoutost
opby.To
whatdoweowet hepl
easureoft
hissur
pri
sev
isit
?”I
si
tonthechai
ropposi
teher.
Me:
“Ij
ustwant
edt
oseepr
ogr
ess.I
fyouwer
eto
est
imate,
howl
ongwi
l
litt
akey
ouguy
stof
ini
sht
his
house?
”
Rethabi
le:
“about4mont
hsandthenwewil
lst
artt
he
Nongomahouse.Wewi l
ll
ast
lybui
ldt
hesecr
et
house.”
Me:“I
fyouneedanyhel
ppl
easedon’
thesi
tat
eto
cal
l
.”
Ret
habi
l
e:“
sur
eboss.Hav
eyoul
ookedar
ound?
”
Me:
“yes.Iwi
l
lbeonmywayt
hen.
”
Ret
habi
le:“
youcameal
lthewayf
rom Dur
banj
ustt
o
i
nspect
?”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“i
t’
smycompany ,myreput
ati
onsoy
oushoul
d
under
stand.
”Shechuckl
es.
Rethabi
le:“
yeah.Letmeseey ououtt
hen.
”Webot
h
st
andupandheadout .Whilewearewal
ki
ngto
wher et
heotherwor kersare,wemeett
heZul
u
brother
s.Great
,justgreat.

Kuhle:“
Gooddaymakhosazane.
”Ir
ollmyey esand
Rethabi
ler
epl
ieswi
thasmi l
eonherface.Sheis
f
orev
ersmi
l
ing,
Iwonderi
fshedoesn’
tgett
ir
edofi
t.
Sbo:
“Fut
hy,
youdi
dn’
ttel
lusy
ouwer
ear
ound.
”
Me: “i
twasal astminutedecisi
ontocomeher e.Plus
Ididn’tannounceitbecauseIknewIwasn’tst
ay i
ng
forlongerthanIhaveto.”thepai
nsthatIhadinthe
carcomesbackandIqui ckl
yhol
dRethabil
e’
shand
ti
ghtly.Sheturnsandlooksatme.
Ret
habi
le:
“bossladyar
ey ouokay?”Icl
enchmy
j
awsandbreatheslowl
y.Thepaingoesawayagai
n
andIgi
veherafakesmile.
Me:
“Iam f
ine.Ij
ustf
eltacr
amp.
”
Kuhl
e:“
may
bey
ouneedt
oseeadoct
or.
”
Me:“don’ texaggerat
eKuhl e.Iam superf i
ne.Let’
s
carr
yonwi thourjourneyRetha.”Shegi vesmea
concernedl ookandweheadt owher ethewor ker
s
areat.“Gooddayguy s.”Theyallgreetbackand
someev enshakemyhand.

Rethabi
le:
“wewereverybl
essedtobegracedby
bosslady’
spr
esencetoday
.Shejustcametosayhi
andsheisleav
ingnow.
”Theyal
lsayt
hei
rgoodby
es
andRethaescort
smetothecar
.“I
twasni
ceseei
ng
you.
”

Me: “sameher e.Wheny oucomebackt oDurban,hi

t
meupsot hatwecanhav edinnertogether
.”Wehug
eachot herandIclimbinsi dethecar.Thepains
comebackst rongerandr apidl
ythi
st i
mear ound.I
scream alittl
eandMabut hoquickl
ycomest omy
si
deandopensmydoor .Hehol dsmyhand.I
squeezehi shandf ordearl i
fehopi
ngt hatt
hepain
goesawaybuti tdoesn’tbudget hi
stimearound.

Mabutho:“bossladyar
eyouokay
?”Iseet
heZul
u
br
othersapproachingt
hecar
.
Kuhle:
“isever
ythi
ngokay
?”Ishakemyheadwi
th
tear
sthreat
eningtocomeout.
Me: “
pai
nsBut
ho.Ithur
tssomuch.Pl
easemakei
t
stop.
”Tear
sstar
trol
li
ngdownmycheeks.Heget
sin
nexttomeandThobekagetsi
nthefr
ontseat
.
Mabut ho:“mandriv
et ot
hehospit
al.
”Zamokuhle
start
st hecaranddriv
esoffinhi
ghspeed.Wearri
ve
atTheBayHospi tal
,Netcar
einashortperi
odof
ti
me.“ Youaregoingtobeokayboss.”Zamokuhl
e
stopsthecarandbot hheandButhohelpmeoutof
thecar.

Zamokuhle:
“youarebleedi
ng.”Iturntostareatt
he
seatIwasatandmyhear tnearl
yst ops.Ihavea
phobiaofbl
ood.Seei
ngal otofitcanmakemepass
out.
Me:
“OhGod.
”

Theyquickl
ygetmeinsidethehospit
alandIam
takentoaward.Thenurseshelpmechangeintoa
hospit
algown.Theymakemel i
eonthebedand
theyputupadrip.Adoctorcomesin.

Doct
or:
“whatdowehav
eher
e?”
Nur
se1:
“shewasbr
oughti
nher
eaf
ewmi
nut
esago.
Sheisbl
eedi
ng,wesuspectuter
usbleedi
ng.
”The
doct
ornodsandcomestost andnexttome.
Doct
or:“Goodev
eni
ng.Iam doct
orMwapeandy
ou
ar
e?”Isnif
f.
Me:“Iam i
npai
n.Pl
easemakeitstop.Butwhatev
er
youdo,don’
tdr
awmybl ood.
”Ipassoutaft
erthat
.
.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Mabut howaspaci ngupanddowni nthewaiti
ng
room.Hewaswor r i
edabouthisboss.Eversincehe
start
edwor kingforher ,shehasnevercri
ed.Seeing
herli
ket hatwaslikesomeonepunchedhi mint he
gut.Thobekawassi t
ti
ngdownandnextt ohim was
Zamokuhl e.Eachandev er
yoneofthem wasi nthei
r
ownwor l
d.Butonet hi
ngi ncommon, t
heywer e
worriedaboutFut hy.Shehaswel comedthem i nher
homeandhast r
eat edthem li
kefri
endsnot
employ ees.Sotheywer ef ondofher.
TheZulubrothersmadet hei
rwayi nandmostoft he
hospit
albowedt hei
rheadsast heypassed.They
madet hei
rwayt othewaiti
ngroom wher eFuthy
’s
guardswere.AfterZamokuhledroveoffli
kethat,
theywereworriedsotheyfoll
owedt hem her
e.

Kuhl
e:“
whathappened?
”Thobekal
ookedup.
Thobeka: “
shest ar
tedf eel
i
ngpainwhil
ewewer esti
ll
i
nDur banbutshebr usheditof
f.Wereall
ydon’t
knowwhathappenedorwhatcausedt hepain.When
webr oughtherin,shewasbl eedi
ngexcessi
vely.
”
Kuhlesighedandsatdown.Mabut hostopped
paci
ngandl eanedhisbackont hewall
.Hisphone
ri
ngedandhesi ghedwhenhesawwhowascal li
ng.

Mabut
ho:
“li
tt
leone.
”
Xol
i:“
whereareyouguys?Youwer
esupposedt
obe
her
elikeanhourago.
”
Mabut
ho:
“wear
einRi
char
dsBay
.Fut
hyhasbeen
admi
tt
ed.
”
Xol
i:“
Richar
dsBay?Admi
tted?Whatisgoi
ngon
But
ho?”sheaskedwit
hhervoicebr
eaki
ng.
Mabut ho:
“shewasfeel
ingpai
nandshebled.We
don’tknowwhatcausedit.Wear
estil
lwai
ti
ngfor
thedoctorstoupdat
eus.”Xol
ij
usthungupand
snif
fed.
.
.
Leecamebackf r
om workandsawXolisni
ffi
ngon
thecouch.Sher
ushedtoherandsatnextt
oher.
Lee:“what
’swrongl
it
tl
eone?”t
hat’
sherni
ckname
becausesheisthey
oungesti
nthehouse.
Xoli
:“Futhyi
satthehospital
.Shewasadmi t
ted.
Buthosaidshewasf eeli
ngpainandbl
ed.”Lee’s
heartnearl
ystopped,notbel
i
evingwhatwasbeing
sai
dt oher.
Lee:
“whatar
eyousay
ingt
ome?Whathospi
tal
is
sheat?
”
Xol
i
:“i
nRi
char
dsBay
.”
Lee:
“whatwasshedoi
ngi
nRi
char
dsBay
?”
Xol
i
:“Idon’
tknow.
”
Lee:
“whatcausedt
hebl
eedi
ng?
”
Xol
i:
“thedoct
orshaven’
tupdatedthem.
”Leest
ood
upandtookoutherphone.Shedial
edanumber
.

Voi
ce:
“Li
ndel
wa.
”
Lee:“Sawubonababa.Futhyhasbeenadmi
ttedina
hospital
atRichardsBay
.Theysayshewasfeeli
ng
painandshebl ed.”
Ndosi
omkhul
u:“
howi
sshenow?
”
Lee:
“wedon’
tknow.
”
Ndosi
omkhul
u:“
okay
.Iam headi
ngt
her
enow.
”
Lee:
“Iam al
socomi
ngwi
thy
oubaba.Iwi
l
lcal
l
Noma.”
Ndosiomkhulu:“
Iwill
bewaiti
ngforyouinmy
house.
”Leehungupandal socall
edNomanotify
ing
her.Af
tert
hatshetooktheFort
unerkeysandshe
droveoutwit
hXoli.
.
*
**BACKATTHEWAI
TINGROOM*
**
Ndosiomkhulugotinfol
lowedbyhiswi f
e,hi
stwo
sons,Noma,LeeandXol i
.Helookedaroundhiseyes
l
andedont heZulupri
nces.Hefrownedbutdidn’
t
sayanythi
ng.Thobekastoodup.

Ndosi
omkhulu:
“andwherear
ey ougoi
ng?
”she
al
mostshi
ver
edbecausehisv
oicewasscary
.
Thobeka:“t
hedoctorcouldn’
tupdateusonwhati s
goi
ngonbecausewear enotrelat
edtoher .Het ol
d
usthatwhenherfami l
ycomes,hewi l
lgiveusan
update.
”Shequickl
yrusheddownt hecorridornot
wait
ingforaresponse.Theyall
satont hechairs.

Sij
abuli
le:“
youshouldn’
thavet al
kedli
kethat
babakhe.Youcanal r
eadyseet hatsheisscar
edof
you.”Lelel
aughed,hi
sfathergavehim adeathst
are
andhekeptqui eti
mmedi at
ely.Thobekacameback
withthedoctor
.
Doct
or:
“ar
eyouMi
ssCel
e’
sfami
l
y?”
Ndosi:
“youthi
nkshewould’
vecall
edyoui
fwe
weren’
ttheCel
efamil
y?”heaskedwit
hanannoy
ed
t
one.Thedoctorswal
lowedhard.
Doctor :
“wellwedon’tknowwhatcausedthe
bleeding.Sheref
usedf orherbl
oodtobedrawn.We
reall
ycan’tdeter
minewhati swrongwi
thherunti
l
wedosomet est
s.”

Noma:“ wel
lyoushouldhaveasked.Shehasv er
y
l
owblood.Whenev ershebleeds,shepassesout.
Wheny ouwantt odr
awherbl oody oumustal
so
donat
eanot heramounttoher.It
’satakeandgive
ty
peofsi t
uati
on.”
Doct
or:
“butshei
s…”
Lee:“
don’tgother
e.”shel
ookedatt
hedoct
orwi
tha
thr
eateni
nglook.

Lel
e:“
youwill
drawherbloodandIwi
l
ldonatet
he
bl
oodneeded.WehavethesameDNAandt hesame
bl
oodtype.
”
Doctor
:“okaypl
easefol
l
owme.
”theyl
eft
.Noma
tookherphoneout.
Noma: “l
etmemakesomecal lsmamasot hatIcan
getusaccommodat i
onbecauseitseemsl
ikewewi l
l
bespendingthenighthere.
”Si
jabul
il
enoddedand
Nomal eftt
hewaitingroom.Ndosiomkhul
ut ur
ned
totheZulupri
nces.

Ndosiomkhulu:“andwhatbri
ngsyouhereyoung
men?”hedidn’tcarei
ftheywerepri
ncesornot
.
Kuhl
erubbedt hebackofhisneck.
Kuhle:“
Iam Futhy’scl
ientandshewasatmysi te
whenshegotsi ck.Wewer ewor r
iedabouther
.
That’
swhywear ehere.”Ndosiomkhulurai
sedhis
eyebrowbutdidn’ttal
kanyfurt
herbecausehiswif
e
squeezedhi
st high.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER19

Iwakeupandl ookar ound.OkayIam i nahospital

war d.Iwonderwhati swrongwi thme.Ir emember
bleedi ngandf eeli
ngexcr uciat
ingpaininmyl ower
abdomenbutIdon’ tknowt hecauseofi t
.Iknowf or
sur ethati twasn’tperiodpainsorIwasn’ t
mi scar r
yingbecauset her
eisnowayt hatIwas/am
pregnant .Ilookont hedesknextt omeandIam
reli
ev edwhenIseemyphonet here.It
aket heti
me
andseet hati
t’
sal r
eady7: 30am.Anur sefrom
yest erdaygetsi nandshesmi l
eswhensheseest hat
Iam awake.

Nurse:“goodmorningMissCele.Iam nur
seSabat
ha
andIwillbeatyourser
viceshouldyouneed
anythi
ng.Fornowletmehel pyoubathsothatt
he
doctorcanseey ouandal soy ourvi
sit
ors.Theyhav e
beenheresincelastnightandt heyaredy i
ngtosee
you.Someoft hem evensl epthere,
insidethewar d
i
nt hecouch,anotheronesl eptonthebenchj ust
nexttoyourdoor.”Iknowf orsurethatshei stal
ki
ng
aboutmyguar ds.Ichuckleabi t.

Me:“Iknowexactl
ywhoyouar
etal
kingaboutandI
am notsur
pri
sed.Doest
hedoct
orhavesomenews
forme?”
Nurse:“y
es,hedrewy ourbloody est
erdaybutdon’
t
panicbecauseyourbrotherdonatedhisblood.
”I
l
ookupandseeabl ooddr i
pwhi chisalmostempty.
Me:
“myf
ami
l
yisher
e?”
Nurse:
“yes,andtheZuluprinces.”Fuck!Dadis
goi
ngtogett hewrongimpressionandIam pr et
ty
sur
ehei sgoingtogri
l
l t
hem wi t
hendl essquesti
ons.
Daddoesn’tcarewhetheryouar eacel ebornot.
Whenitcomest ohissecondpr incess,hedoesn’t
j
okearound.“Let’
sgo.”Shehelpsmest andup.
Weheadt othebathr
oom andshehel psmebat h.I
wearanewsanitarypadandnewpaj amaswhi chI
suspectwasboughtmyf amily.Aft
erIam donewe
headbacktothewardandIset t
ledownonmybed.
Fewmi nut
eslat
erthedooropensandmyf amily
walkinwit
hNomaandLee.Theyal lt
aketurnsin
huggingme.Dadisthelastonet ohugmeandIj ust
breakdowninhisarms.Her ubsmyback, calming
medown.Het henbreaksthehugandwi pesmy
tears.

Dad:“
youar
egoingtobefi
ne,okay
?”Inodandhe
ki
ssesmyfor
ehead.It
urnt
olookatLee.
Me:“
wherear
emykids?
”shegi
ggles.Ial
wayscal
l
myguar
dsmykidswhenweareatthehouse.
Lee:
“theyar
eoutsi
de,
theywant
edt
ogi
vey
ousome
ti
mewi t
hfamil
y.
”
Me: “
wellt
ellt
hem togettheirassesoverher
e
becausetheyarealsomyf amily.
”Leel
eavesand
comesbackwi ththem.Theyst andawkwardl
yatt
he
doorwithXoli
.“Ar
en’ty
ouguy sgoingt
ohugmeand
askmehowIam doi
ng?
”theyall
rushandhugme.
Theyf
ini
shhuggi
ngmeandstandnearbed.

Mabutho:“
youscar
edusy est
erdayandweallf
elt
usel
ess.Ourj
obistopr
otectyouandwatchi
ngyou
i
npainli
kethatwashar
d.”
Thobeka:“i
twasli
keyouwereunderat
tackandwe
werejustsi
tti
ngt
hereandwatchi
ngyoubeing
assaul
ted.”
Me:“guyspl
ease.Ther
eisnothi
ngy
oucoul
d’v
edone.
Iam fi
nenow.Stopworry
ing.
”
Zamokuhl
e:“
wedon’
tev
enknowwhatmadey
ou
si
ck.
”
Xol
i:“Iam j
usthappyt
oseeyouawake.Iwas
worr
iedwhent hedoct
orsdi
dn’
tal
l
owust oseey
ou
l
astnight.
”

Me:“Iam sureit’
snothi
ngt owor
ryabout,
justper
iod
pai
ns.”Iam alsohopingandpray
ingthati
t’
snothi
ng
ser
ious.Thedoct orget
sin.hi
seyeswidenwhenhe
seesthenumberofpeopl
einmyward.Buthe
quickl
ymaskshi
sshockwithasmi
le.

Doctor:“Iam happyt oseemypati

entawake.Ihav e
someoft hetestresult
sbutwewill
needtodomor e
testsbecausewhatwehav enowi
sjust
assumpt ions.Iwouldli
ketoreadt
hereporttoyou
butit’
sper sonal
.”Dadlooksatmybrother
sandt hey
l
eav ewithoutthinki
ngt wi
ce.Myki
dsalsoleaveand
thatleav
esuswi thmypar ent
sandmybestf r
iends.

Dad:“readywhenyouaredoctor.
”Dadcanbev ery
unfr
iendlytosomeonewhohei snotusedto.That
’s
whyThobekasai dheisscar
y.Heonlyshows
aff
ectiontohiswif
e,ki
dsandmyf ri
ends.
Doct
or:“
canwepl
easewaitf
or…”t
hedooropens
andafemal
edoct
orget
sin.
Doct
or2:
“Iam sor
ryIam lat
e.Iwasst
ucki
ntraff
ic.
Goodmorni
ngeveryonebytheway.
”Wegreetback.
Dr.Mwape: “
don’tworr
ywehav en’
tstart
edy et
.
Any wayst
hisisDr.Qhal
i,
sheisagy nae.Thisi
ssue
i
nv olv
esyourwombsoIt houghtit
’sbestthatIcal
l
herin.”
Me:
“okaydoct
ors.Whati
swr
ongwi
thme?
”

Dr.Qhal i:“Ithinky ouhav eut erinecancer .Wellwe

needt odomor et estssot hatwecandet ermineif
i
t’
sr eal l
ycancerori t’
sj ustabnor mal uterine
bl
eedi ng.Andbef or ey ouask, uteri
necanceroccur s
i
nawoman’ srepr oduct ivesy stem.Itbegi nswhen
healthycel lsint heut er uschangeandgr owoutof
control ,f
ormi ngamasscal l
edat umor .At umorcan
becancer ousorbeni gn.Acancer oust umori s
malignant , meani ngi tcangr owandspr eadt oother
part
soft hebody .Abeni gnt umorcangr owbut
gener all
ywi llnotspr eadi ntoot hertissues. ”My
heartsi nkst omyst omachandIst artbr eathi
ng
sl
owl y .Ihav ecancer .

Dad:
“whencany
oust
artexami
ningher
?”
Dr
.Qhali
:“assoonaspossi
blesothati
fiti
scancer
,
wewil
lstartt
reat
ingi
tbef
oreitspr
eads.
”
Dad:“
Doctorwest ayi
nDurban,mydaughterwas
heref
orbusiness.I
sther
eapossibi
li
tythatwecan
tr
ansf
erhertoahospitali
nDurbanfi
rstandthenwe
canstar
twit
ht hetest
sandexaminat
ions?”
Dr.Mwape:“
thatcanhappen.Wewoul
dthenhav
eto
handov
ertheresul
tswehaveovert
othem.”
Dad:“
greatt
hen.Iwi
l
lst
artmaki
ngcal
l
s.”heheads
out
.

Dr.Qhali
:“wewill
ber i
ghtbackMi ssCele.Please
don’tworry
.Iam assumi ngthatshoul
dy ouhave
cancer,i
t’
sonitsfi
rststages.Youaregoi ngtobe
fi
ne.”Theybothheadout .
Me:“
Ihav
ecancer
.Iam goi
ngt
odie.
”Isayi
nal
ow
t
oneandmom qui
ckl
yhugsmetight
.
Mom: “don’
tsaythat.Theydon’
tknowforsureifi
tis
cancermylove.Iti
sjustassumpti
onsfornow.More
l
ikeall
egati
ons.Evenifyouhaveit
,youarenotgoi
ng
todie.Wewil
lmakesur
ethatnev
erhappens.You
aregoingt
obefi
ne.”
Noma:“yeahy
ouaregoi
ngtobefi
nebabes.Wewi l
l
got
hroughthi
stoget
her
,asafami
ly.
”Shealsohugs
me.

Me:“Iam scared.”Tear
sst artfal
l
ingwhenIthi
nk
aboutmycur r
entsi t
uat
ion.“It’
smyf aul
t.I
fIdi
dn’
t
sl
eeparound,ifIhadsettleddownandhadone
part
nernoneoft hiswould’vehappened.”
Lee:“stop,j
uststop.Thisi
snotanSTIFut hy
.Iti
s
cancerandi t
’snotyourfaultthatyoumayhav ei
t.
Andpl easedon’ttal
kli
key ouhav ealreadybeen
diagnosed.”Ikeepquietwhilesniff
ing.

Me: “
canyoupleasehandmemyphone?
”Noma
passesit
.“Canyouguyspl
easegi
vemesomespace?
Ineedtomakeaf ewphonecal
ls.
”
Mom:“sur
e.Wewil
lbei
nthewait
ingr
oom andwe
wi
ll
getyousomet
hingt
oeat.Wearesor
rywedidn’
t
br
ingi
tnow,
wewerejustr
ushi
ngt
oseey
ou.
”If
ake
asmil
eandt
heygetout
.

IcallZahandi nform heraboutmycur rentsit

uation.
Ialsocal lHlongwaandNol uh.I
,howeverdon’t
cancel myor der.Ijusttell
hert odel
iv
erinDur ban.I
textSandi l
eandt el
lhim Iam inthehospital
butIt el
l
him nott ocomebecauseIwi l
lsoonbetransferr
ed
toDur ban.It hengoonl i
neandsear chaboutut eri
ne
cancer .Thisistoomucht or ead.MaybeIshould
hav easkedXol it
or eaditformeandsummar i
zei t
.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER20

*
**NARRATED*
**
Sij
abuli
le,
LeeandNomagott othewaitingroom and
sadnesswaswr i
tt
enall overthei
rfaces.Sij
abulil
e
wentouttogetsomef reshai rwhi
leLeeandNoma
satdown.Int hewait
ingr oom ther
ewast heZulu
brother
s,Futhy’
sbrothers,herguardsandXol i.They
alll
ookedatLeeandNomawai ti
ngfort hem t
ot el
l
them whatthedoctorsai d.Leewast heonlyone
whowasn’ temotional,
Nomawashol dingbackher
tear
s.

Lee:“
thedoct orssaidtherei
sapossi bi
li
tyofher
havi
ngut erinecancer,
theythinkt
hat’swhatcaused
thebl
eedi ng.Theyarestil
lnotsure,
theyhavetodo
somet ests.Butshewi l
lbetransf
erredtoDurban
l
atert
hisev
eni
ngi
fIam notmi
staken.
”Nomast
ood
up.

Noma:“
letmebookusf
li
ght
sbackt
oDur
ban.
”She
l
eftt
hewait
ingr
oom.
Xol
i
:“whati
sut
eri
necancer
?”

Sbo: “
uterinecanceroccur sinawoman’ s
reproduct ivesystem.Itbeginswhenheal thycellsin
theut eruschangeandgr owoutofcont r
ol,forminga
masscal ledat umor .Atumorcanbecancer ousor
beni gn.Acancer oustumori smal ignant,meani ngit
cangr owandspr eadtoot herpar tsofthebody .A
beni gntumorcangr owbutgener all
ywi l
lnotspr ead
i
nt oot hert i
ssues.Myex- gir
lfr
iendhadi t
.She
dumpedmebef oreshestartedt r
eat ment.She
believedt hatshewon’ tbeabl et oconcei veafterthe
treatment .Ev enthoughIt ol
dhert hattheyar emany
possi bil
it
iesofconcei vi
ngshej ustgav euponus. ”
Thobekal ookedatSbo.
Thobeka:
“soshei
sgoi
ngt
obeokay
?”
Sbo:“
yeah.Ifi
t’
sst
il
lear
lyagesoft
hecancer
,she
wil
lbeokay.Canwegoseeher ?
”
Lee:“
sure.
”TheZulubrother
sstoodupandwentto
Futhy
’sward.Theypassedherfat
heront
hecorr
idor
whowast al
kingtothephone.

*
**FUTHY*
**
TheyenterthewardandSboi scarry
inga
McDonald’spaperbag.Heplacesitonthetabl
enear
thebedandcomest ohugme.Af t
erhuggingme,he
givesKuhl
eachancet oalsohugme, hishuglast
s
l
ongerbutIam notsurpri
sed,thi
sisKuhle.

Me:“thankyouforthefood.Myf
amil
ywasso
worri
edthattheyforgott
obuymefood.
”Ist
art
eat
ingmybr eakfast
.
Sbo:“
sohowarey
oufeel
ingf
utur
equeenoft
he
Zul
ukingdom?
”Il
ookatKuhl
eindi
sbel
ief
.
Me:
“yourst
upi
dbr
othert
oldy
ouabouthi
sst
upi
d
pr
oposal
?”
Kuhl
e:“
it
’snotst
upi
d.Il
ovey
ouandl
ovei
snot
st
upi
d.”

Me: “welli
tisstupidifyouthinkasuccessful
i
ndependentwomanwi ll
giveupherf r
eedom justto
becomeasubmi ssiv
esecondwi f
ewhowi l
lendure
i
nsultsfrom yourBar biedoll
.”Heclencheshisjaws
andwal kstothewi ndow.Heput shishandsinhis
pocketsandst areoutt hewindowwi thhismout h
shut.“AnywaysIam f i
neSbo, ev
ent houghthereisa
possibil
it
ythatImi ghtdie,Imightnothavekidsand
imightnotlivetoseemycompanyexpandandgo
global.
”Ishrugandcont i
nueeating.

Sbo:“youaregoi
ngtobefi
ne.Myex-gi
rl
fr
iendhad
uter
inecancer
.Shetr
eat
editandsheisnowliv
ing
herli
fetotheful
l
est
.”
Me:“yourex?Meani
ngy
oudumpedherbecauseof
i
t?”hechuckles.
Sbo:“
noactuall
y,i
t’
stheotherwayar ound.She
dumpedmebecauseshedi dn’
twantt odisappoi
nt
mebynotgivingmekids.Wher easthereisa
possi
bil
i
tyofgetti
ngpregnantaftert
hetreatment.
”

Me:“youshouldsetupameet i
ngformewi t
hher .I
wannaknowmor eaboutt
hiscancert
reatment.SoI
won’tbeabletodri
nkduri
ngthiswholetr
eatment
per
iod?”helaughsandKuhlechuckl
es.OwIf orgot
hewasev enhere.
Sbo:“ever
ytr
eatmentrequir
esy out
obesober,
even
wheni t
’sf
luorheadache.Sotherei
snoexcept
iont
o
thi
s.”

Me:“t
heSABi sgoi
ngt omakeahugel
oss.
”They
bot
hlaugh.Kuhl
eturns.
Kuhl
e:“
Sbocany
ougi
veussomespace?
”
Sbo:
“sur
ebr
o.getwell
soonmyf
utur
ewi
fe.
”Il
augh.
Hehugsmeandleav
es.
Me:
“Kuhl
epl
ease.St
opt
alki
ngaboutt
hissecond
wi
feshi
t.
”

Kuhl
e:“
wouldyoumar
rymei
fIdi
vor
cedSt
habi
l
e?”
myeyespopout.

Me: “
Kuhle,ifit
’ssexyouwantt henIwillgi
veitt
o
you.Youdon’ thavetothrowawayy earsofmar r
iage
becauseofmychubbypussy .Iknowithasthat
woza-wozabutdon’ tdivorcey ourwif
e.Thinkabout
yourkids.Kuhleyouhav en’tknownmef orevena
monthbutal readyyouar ethinkingofdestr
oying
yourfamilybecauseofme.Comeon. ”Hechuckles
andshakeshi shead.

Kuhl
e:“youarewor t
hit.Youar
eworthever
y
sacr
if
iceFuthy.Iwouldn’
twanttosl
eepwit
hyoui
fI
can’
thaveallofyou.”
Me:“wel
lIdowantt ofuckyouandIwil
ldothat
.
SoonasIrecover
.”Hiseyespopout.“
Phel
anami I
wantsomer oy
aldick.
”
Kuhl
e:“
soy
ouwannauseme?
”

Me: “don’tactalli
nnocent.Youknowv erywel
lthat
ther
ei snot hingyouwillmor ethaneat i
ngmypussy
unti
lIcomeandmer i
dingy oubl ackcockunti
lyou
shootal lyourseedsinsidemypussy .
”Hestar
ts
sweat i
ng.Goodt oknowIst il
lhav ethateff
ect
.“By
thewayI ’dsucky ourcocksohar dt hatyouwi
llfi
nd
yourselfreciti
ngmycl annamesandgi vi
ngmeal l
yourbankpi ns.Iwoul
dsuckal l ofitandmassage
yourbal l
sandal sosuckt hem.”

Kuhl
e:“st
optal
ki
ng.”Hi
sdickisal
readyhar
dandI
mustsaythesi
zeisimpr
essiv
ewhi chmakesme
wanthi
m evenmore.

Me:“thenIwouldswall
owy ourcum.Aftert
hatI
wouldlayonthebedandal l
owy outohavemey our
way.Ilovemissi
onar
yst y
lebythewaybecauseI
wouldgrabyourassforci
ngy outogodeeperand
f
uckmehar der.”
Kuhl
e:“
byeFut
hy.
”Her
ushesoutandIbur
stout
l
aughi
ng.
.
.
Dadget
sint
hewar
dfol
l
owedbyt
hedoct
ors.

Dad: “
wehavesor tedoutall t
hepaperwor k.Youare
goingtobetransferredtoDur baninanambul ance
becausethi
sisnotanemer gency.Thedoct or
shave
sortedoutt
hebl oodi ssueandt heywi
llhandov er
theresttot
heUmhl angadoct ors.”

Me: “
whati
fIwantDr .Qhal
itoconti
nuewithme
thr
oughthi
sjourney
?Nott hatIdon’
ttr
ustthe
Umhlangamedicalt
eam, Ij
ustwanther.”Dadsi
ghs
andturnst
oDr.Qhali
.
Dr.Qhal
i:“
Idon’thaveaproblem wit
hworki
ngat
Umhlanga.Iwi
llsortev
er y
thingoutandIwi
ll
repor
t
fordut
ytomorrowmor ning.”
Me:
“thanky
ou.Whenam Il
eav
ing?
”
Dad:
“now.
”Leeget
sin.
Lee:
“Iwi
l
lpacky
ourbags.
”
Me:
“bagy
oumean?
”shechuckl
es.
Lee:
“yeaht
hat
.”
Me:
“daddyIam hungr
y.CanIeatbef
orewel
eav
e?”
Dad:“
therei
sKFCandMcDonal
d’snear
by.Whi
ch
onedoy ouwant
?”

Me:“st
reet
wise2wi t
hlar
gechipsand2minil
oafs.I
al
sowant1l i
terofcr
anberr
yjui
ce.
”Hetakesouthis
phoneandsendssomeoneamessage.
Dr.Mwape:
“Iguessthi
sisgoodby
eformebecause
Ihavet
oseeotherpati
ent
s.”
Me:“
byedoctor
.”Henodsandheget
soutwi
thDr
.
Qhal
i
.Dadalsogetsout
.
Lee:
“Kuhl
eandSboar
egone.
”
Me:“
Itr
aumat
izedKuhl
esoIam notshockedt
hat
hel
eft
.”
Lee:
“whatdi
dyousayt
othepoorki
ng?
”
Me: “
It ol
dhim howI ’dfuckhi
m andsuckhi sdick.I
gavehi mthedet ail
shunandher anoutofhere.”Lee
l
aughsoutl oud.“ Hewasbusyt elli
ngmeshitabout
wantingmet obehi ssecondwife.Ihadtoshifthis
focus.”Lee’
sey espopout .

Lee:“
secondwhat ?”f
uckIdon’tr
emembertel
li
ng
them aboutt
his.Sherunsoutandcomesbackwit
h
Noma.“ Tel
lmewhaty outoldher
.”
Me:“Kuhl
ewant
smet
obehi
ssecondwi
fe.
”Noma
scr
eams.
Noma:
“whendi
dwegether
e?It
houghthewas
goi
ngt
obeanot
herhi
tandr
un.
”
Me:
“hecaughtf
eel
i
ngsandf
ell
har
d.”
Noma:
“whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo?
”Ishr
ug.
Me:
“fuckhi
m.”
Lee:“t
hatwil
lmakehim wanty
ouevenmore.
”The
paincomesbackhardandIrel
easeasmal
lscream
whilecl
utchi
ngonmylowerabdomen.“
What’
s
wrong?”

Noma:
“shal
lIcal
lthedoct
or?
”thepai
nfadesaway
.
Me:
“noIam f
ine.
”
Noma:
“you’
renot
.Youwer
escr
eami
ngawhi
l
eago.
”
Me: “
relax.It
’snot
hing.
”Shel
ooksatmewithtear
y
eyes.“Pleasedon’
tlookatmeli
kethat
.Iwi
l
l be
fi
ne.”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER21

Wegett ot heUmhl angaNet careandIgetadmi tt

ed.
Af ewhour slatertheNt ulibrothersgracesmewi t
h
theirpresence.Yandi sai swi thhiswife.Theyare
carryingflowersandf ood.Thewi feiscarryi
ng
balloons.Idon’ tli
kebal loonsguy s.Ifeell
ikethey
belongt oki dsandpeopl emaybr i
ngt hem when
visi
tingsomeonei fthatper sonhav ejustgiv
enbirth.
Any way stheysi tdownaf t
ergr eeti
ngmeofcour se.
Yandi saintroduceshi swi f
eandMandi sa.Socool,
theirnamesr hyme.

Sakhi
l
e:“
whatar
eyouher
efor
?”
Me:
“Imi
ghtbedy
ing.
”
Sakhi
l
e:“
what
’sup?
”
Me:
“thedoct
orst
hinkIhav
eut
eri
necancer
.”
Mandi
sa:
“whatar
eyoursy
mpt
oms?
”
Me:“Ijusthadexcruci
ati
ngpaininmylower
abdomenandt henIbl
edheavil
y.All
myl i
fe,nev
er
evenforoncehav eIeverhadperi
odpains,soI
wouldn’thavestar
tednow.”

Mandisa:“someti
mesithappensthatdoct
orsmake
amisdiagnose.It
hinkIshoul
dtakealookatyour
f
il
e.”Il
ookathersuspiciousl
y.
Sandil
e:“don’
tworr
y,shei
sadoct
or.
”Inod.She
takesthefi
lebel
owmybedandpagesit.
Me:
“sowhatdi
dyouguy
sbei
ngme?Iam st
arv
ing.
”

Yandi
sa:
“fr
uit
s,meatandr
oll
s,bur
gerandf
ri
es.
”
Me: “
cany oupleasehandmet hebur
gerandfri
es?
”
henodsandpassesi tt
ome.Iopenthetakeaway
andst ar
teati
ng.“Areyouguy
st hi
nki
ngabout
bui
ldinganotherstudi
o?MaybeinCapeTownorPE
orLimpopo? ”
Yandisa:“
may beafter5year
s.Asmuchasi tcreat
es
morej obopportuni
ti
esforot
herpeople,i
tleavesa
marki nourpocketssowear enotrushi
ngon
bui
ldi
nganot herstudi
osoon.”Inodandcont i
nue
eat
ing.

Me: “
Sakhilewhenareyouplanningonsettl
i
ng
down? ”IknowIam askingapersonalquest
ionbut
theyareherenow, sot
heyhavetoentertai
nmewi t
h
news.Hel aughs.
Sakhi
l
e:“
whydon’
tyouaskSandi
l
ethatquest
ion?
”
Me: “
ifIdo,hewil
lstar
tprofessi
nghi
sloveforme,
tur
ningallWil
li
am ShakespeareNeh.
”Theyalll
augh
andSandilesul
ks.

Sakhi
le:“wellIwannamarrymyf i
rstbabymama.
ThethingisIbrokeherheartwithmyment al
ityof
bei
ngent i
tledtosomethings.Iletfamegetint
omy
headandi tdestr
oyedourrelat
ionship.
”
Me:
“whendi
dyour
eal
i
zet
haty
ouwant
edt
omar
ry
her
?”
Sakhi
l
e:“
fewmont
hsaf
tershel
eftme.
”
Me:“don’
tmindmewi ththese21questions.Iam
j
ustkeepingmysel
fenter
tainedbyplayi
ngSisDolly
.”
Theyalll
augh.“
Isshedati
ngany oneri
ghtnowand
areyoudati
nganyone?”

Sakhi
l
e:“noinbothquestions.”Ifi
nisheat
ingand
wipemyhands.Iplacethet akeawaynearthebed
andSandil
etakesitandthrowsi ti
nt hebi
n.
Me:“bet
weenSandi
l
eandYandi
sa,
whoi
nti
midat
es
hert
hemost?”
Yandi
sa:
“me.
”
Me:“gi
vemey ourphone.”hehandsmehisphone
andIpassitt
oSakhil
e.“Putonherphonenumber.
”
Huquickl
ypunchesit
.Itakethephonebackand
vi
deocallher
.“What’
shername? ”

Sandi
le:
“Si
vel
i
le.
”Inod.Sheanswer
saf
teraf
ew
ri
ngs.
Si
vel
i
le:
“hel
l
oBabomdal
a.”

Me: “hi sisi

.Iam sur ey ouwer eexpect i
ngYandi sa
Neh. ”Shenods.“ Iam Fut hyCel eandIhav ebeen
diagnosedwi thlungcancerst age3.Ihav eaf ew
mont hst oli
ve.Lifei stooshor tsisi
.Youmi ghtbe
wonder ingwhyIam t elli
ngy out hi
s.Wel lthethingis
Sakhi l
ei saf r
iendofmi neandhehasbeent herefor
meev er ystepoft heway .Hehassuppor t
edmeand
showedmegr eatlov eandcar e.Whilehewas
showi ngmet hisaf fect i
on, Iaskedmy selfwhoi s
thereforhi m becauseasmuchasIneedashoul der
toleanon, healsodoes.Iam nott r
yingt oguil
tt r
ip
youi ntoget ti
ngbackt ogetherwi thhim.Justcal l
him wheny ouhav et i
meandcheckuponhi m.You
knowt hathemi ghthav eabubbl yper sonali
tyand
somet imesbot tl
et hingsup.Pl easejustgethi mt o
speakoutorev enseeashr inkifhedoesn’ ttalkto
you.”Icoughandpl acemyhandi nmychest .
“Pleaset hi
nkaboutwhatIsai d.”Shesni ffsandnods.
“Bye”
Siv
eli
l
e:“
by esi
siandMaythel
ordbewit
hyouand
healy
oufrom al
lthepai
nyouar
egoingt
hrough.
”
Me:“thankssi
si.
”Iendthecal
landhandYandi
sahis
phone.Itur
ntoSakhil
e.“Youowemeaholidaywhen
Igetoutofthi
splace.

Sakhi
le:“
consi
deri
tdone.Doyouwantmetot
ell
Tyl
erPerryt
oincl
udeyouinhi
snextmovi
e?
Becausedamngirly
oucanact.
”Il
augh.
Sandi
l
e:“
Iam al
soi
mpr
essedNt
ombi
.”
Yandisa:“
minaIam st
il
lshockedsiswelung
cancer.
”Wealll
augh.Mandisaclear
sherthr
oat
.
Mandi
sa:“Iwi
l
lli
ket
odofurt
hert
estsonthis.Ihave
t
odoapapsmearony ouandgotestyourbloodin
mylabathome.”

Me: “
ify
ouaregoi
ngtot estmybl
ood,pleaset
akea
l
itt
leamountofi
tbecauseIam oneofthefew
chubbypeopl
einMzansi whohavel
owbl ood.
”
Mandi
sa:
“whoi
sthedoct
ori
nchar
geofy
ou?
”
Me:“
Dr.Qhal
i.Sheiscomi
ngi
ntomor
row.Shei
s
f
rom Ri
char
dsBay .
”
Mandisa:“t
ellhertonotcome.Iwil
l t
akeoveryour
case.Iam sti
llnotsureaboutt
hecancersoy ou’
re
notoffthehooky etunti
lIdomytests.Anydoctor
youwer ei
ntroducedtoherewheny ouarri
ved?”

Me:
“acer
tai
nDoct
orGr
ande.
”
Mandisa:
“letmequickl
ygof
indhi
m andthenIwi
l
l
getbacktoyou.
”Inodandsheheadsout
.
Me:
“doesshewor
kher
e?”
Yandisa:“no.shei
sacancerspecial
i
st,
anyt
ypeof
cancer,somosthospi
tal
saskf orherwhent
heyar
e
atcrossroads.”
Me:“
thankyouforbri
ngi
ngher
.”Thet
wobr
other
s
l
eav
e,leav
ingSandil
ebehi
nd.
Sandi
l
e:“
doy
ouf
eel
anypai
nnow?
”

Me:
“nope.I
tcomesandgoes.Butwheni
tcomes,
it
hur
tsl
i
keabi
tch.
”
Sandi
le:
“youar
egoingt
obefi
ne.Yousti
l
lneedto
fi
l
ltheNtul
iyar
dwit
hourbabi
es.
”Icl
earmythroat
.

Me: “Ndil
eIdidtel
l youthatIdon’tdate.Pl
easestop
planningaboutthef ut
ureinyourhead.Idon’twant
yout obedisappointedwheny oufi
ndoutthatweare
stil
lnotonthesamepage.Mi naI’
dlikeanostri
ngs
attachedtypeofrelati
onships.Justsexhereand
there,afewdatesmay beifyouneedadat eonan
eventorahol i
day.Butno‘ Il
ov eyou’
s’andshit
.”He
bowshi shead.

Sandil
e:“whatam Isupposedtodowi
tht
hef
eel
i
ngs
IhaveforyouNtombi ?
”Ishrug.
Me:“Idon’
tknowbutIam askingyoutonotbe
anot
herShamase.Idon’tneedanymoreattent
ion
fr
om thepubli
candyoubeingthesecondguyto
conf
esshisfeeli
ngsformeinpubli
cwill
makeme
l
ooklikeaslutandj
eopardi
zemycompanyname. ”
Sandi
le:
“Iwouldn’
tdot
hatt
oyou,
butIam notgoi
ng
togi
veupony ou.”
Me:“
Iheart
hatbutpl
easest
opwi
tht
he‘
Il
ovey
ou’
s’
f
ornow.”
Sandi
l
e: “
fai
renough.ButIwon’tstoptaki
ngyouout
ondatesandcomplementingyou.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:Inev
ersai
dyoushoul
d.Iam gl
adwehadt
his
chat
.”
Sandi
le:
“canIpleasehav
eahug?
”Inodandhehugs
me.“Iwil
lseeyoutomorr
ow.
"

Me:
“by
e.”
Sandi
l
e:“
byeNt
ombi
.
”Heheadsout
.
Thatseemedeasy .Ij
usthopehewon’tbegi
vi
ngme
troublesinthenearfut
ure.Ihav
esomuchonmy
plateright
.Ican’
tevenfindti
met ost
arta
relat
ionship.

‘
Ij
ustt
hinkt
hatIj
usthav
esomuchonmypl
atet
hat
Ican’
tevenfindt
het i
metoentert
ainorst
arta
rel
ati
onshi
porany t
hingser
iousorevenatext
.’–Sal
Houdinif
eat.Ri
hanna
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER22

It
’sFr i
daymi dday.Mandi sahasal r
eadydi dapap
smearonmeanddr ewv eryli
ttl
eamountofbl ood.
Shesai dshewi llcomewi ththeresul tssoonbutt he
l
atestwi llbeMondaymor ning.Shecancel ledDr .
Qhal i
.Shei ssuchabul lybutIam gl adt hatshei son
mycasebecauseIknowi twillr
eceiv eherundi vided
attenti
on.IsentXol itocomebackwi tht hesket ches
IdidinJBH.Shewasv eryconcer ned, say i
ngIshoul d
ber esti
ngbecauseIdon’ tfeelwel lbutIknowt hatif
Isitanddon’ tdoany thi
ng, Iwill
gocr azy .They
broughtmywhol edrawingsetandseti tupi nmy
war d.RightnowIam f i
nishingupt hissket ch.Ialso
hav eanewsket chideainmymi nd.

Voi
ce:
“yazwheny
out
oldmet
haty
ouwer
esi
ck,
I
thoughtIwouldfi
ndy ourest
ing.ButIshoul
d’ve
knownbet t
erbecauserestandy oudon’tmi
x.”I
chuckleandturnt
of acethedoor.
Me:
“howl
onghav
eyoubeenst
andi
ngt
her
e?”
Hlongwa:“l
ongenoughtoseeoneofthegr
eat
est
buil
dingsbei
ngdrawnfr
om scr
atch.
”
Me:“comeon.
”Heget
sinandsi
tsatt
hev
isi
tor
s’
chai
r.

Hlongwa:“nowbeagoodpat i
entandgolieony our
bed.”Il
aughandpackupmyequi pment.Ifol
dmy
sketchandplaceitont
hetube.It
hengoandsi ton
thebedasi nst
ruct
ed.“
Whatiswrongfi
rstborn?”I
shrug.

Me:“att
hispoi
ntIdon’
tknow.Myfir
stdoctorsai
dI
mayhaveuteri
necancerandt
helastonesaidit
’s
f
arf
etchedbecauseIonl
yhaveonesymptom. ”
Hlongwa:“
wellwhat
everi
tis,
Iknowy ouwi
l
l
conqueri
tbecauseyouar
eaf i
ghter
.”
Me:“t
hanky oubaba.
”Hetakesoutanenvel
ope
fr
om hispocketandhandsi
ttome.“Whatisthi
s
baba?”

Hl
ongwa:“j
ustopenit.
”Hesay
swithasmi l
e.Iopen
t
heenvel
opeandt akeoutt
hel
ett
er.Iopenandread
i
t.

Me:“
babaitsay
shereIhav ebeeninv
itedt
oadinner
wher
eIam aguestspeakerandtheyarehonor
ing
me.Wai
t,howisthi
spossible?
”
Hl
ongwa: “
babyyouar eanamazingarchi
tect
.Thi
sis
j
ustnothi
ng.Theyshouldbegi
vingyouanawar dfor
r
aisi
ngtheirf
laghigher
.Youar
ewel l
-knownandyour
workisext
raordi
nary.
”
Me:
“thatmeansal
ott
ome.Thanksdad.
”

Voice:“
heydon’
tbecal
li
nganotherman‘dad’whil
eI
am sti
llal
i
ve.
”Wealll
aughandlooktowardsthe
door.Dadget
sinandtheyexchangegr
eetingswi
th
Hl
ongwa.
Dad:
“sowhatar
ewecel
ebr
ati
ng?
”
Hlongwa:
“WITSi
sdoi
nganhonordi
nnerf
orFut
hy
nextmonth.
”

Dad:
“that
’sgoodndodakazi
.Iam happyf
ory
ou.
”
Me:
“Iam alsohappydad.Ican’
twait.Buttheywant
metospeak.Whatwill
Isay?”theybothlaughand
t
hei
rlaught
ervibr
atesi
nthewhol eyardbecauseof
t
hei
rdeepvoices.
Hlongwa: “y
ouwi llj
usttel
l t
hem howi twasbei nga
student.Don’ti
nventstories.Justt ellthem the
challengesyoufaced,howy ouov ercamet hem, your
bestandwor stmoment s.Don’tincl udebombast ic
wor dsbecausey ourEngli
shbundl eswi l
lbedepleted
quickly.
”Weal l
laugh.

Me:“hhaybaba,
Iam aMast
ersgr
aduat
e,i
singi
si
si
phumangamakhala.
”
Dad:
“kunj
aloMagay
e.”Hl
ongwal
aughs.
Hl
ongwa:
“asi
namonakeMandosi
Amahl
e.”
Me:“t
hat’
sli
keamaskandi
name.
”theybot
hl augh.
NcumisaHongwaandmom makethei
rwayin.

Ncumi sa:“yohni y
anxolaninamakhehla.Ndini
ve
ndisereception.(Youaremaki ngnoi
se.Iheardy ou
fr
om ther eception.Theylaughandtheyallexchange
greeti
ngs.
Me:“Ihopeyouboughtmefood.Unli
keyour
husbandswhowerefeedi
ngmel aughter
.”
Dad:
“ai
bo,
youdi
dn’
tsayy
ouar
ehungr
y.”
Mom:“wheny ouareatt
hehospi
tal
youneedtoeat
ev
eryhourbecauseyouarej
ustbor
edtodeat
h.”

Hlongwa:
“wel
lnother
.”Hepoi
ntsatmydr
awi
ng
board.
Ncumisa:“y
oh,bi
rdsofthesamefeat
hers.
”She
shakesherheadandherhusbandl
aughs.
Mom:
“her
eyougomyl
ove.
”shehandsmef
rui
ts
andyoghur
t.Ncumi
saplacesthepaperbagshei
s
car
ryi
ngonmyshelf.Ist
arteat
ingthefr
uit
s.

Me:“
howaretheprepar
ati
onsf
orumemul
ogoi
ng?
”
shel
ooksatdadandthenl
ooksatme.
Mom: “wewerethi
nki
ngofpost
poni
ngi
tbecauseof
yourcondi
ti
on.
”Ishakemyhead.
Me: “
youcan’ tpostponeitma.Itmeansal otto
Thando. ”It
akemyphoneandt r
ansferR30ktoher
account.Herphonebeepsandshel ooksatthe
message.Thatmoneyshoul dcovertheexpenses
thatIsaidIwilldo.Pleasemakei tpossi
blemama.If
Iam notoutbyFr i
day,Iwil
laskthedoctortorel
ease
mesot hatIcanmakeanappear anceont heevent
.”
Sheopenshermout htospeakbutdadshakeshi s
head.

Ncumisa:
“whenareyouvi
sit
ingus?
”Iscr
atchmy
headandtheyal
ll
augh.
Hl
ongwa:
“ther
eisnor
estf
ort
hewi
ckedmyl
ove.
”
shel
aughs.
Ncumisa:“
butyouhav
etoti
meof
fandmay
be
spendtheweekendwi
thus.
”
Me:
“aweekendsoundsdoabl
e.”
Dad:“y
aziwhenIsupport
edherdr eam, Iwasn’
t
awareoft
hefactthatImighthavetomakean
appoi
ntmenttospendti
mewi thher.”Ipout.
Me:
“that
’snott
ruedad.
”
Dad:
“iti
s.”
Mom:
“shei
sri
ghtl
ove.
”

Wecont i
nuechat t
ingwi t
hthepensioner s.Thei
r
companyisf un.Theydon’tactlikestuckupadul t
s
whoar eal
way sserious.Theyev entalkedabout
havi
ngadi nnerdatetonight.IguessHl ongwaisnot
goi
ngt ohishonoringdinnertonight
.It akemy
aft
ernoonnap.

‘
Khokho:
“mzukul
u.”
Me:
“Khokhoam Igoi
ngt
odi
e?”
Khokho: “
lutho.Thereisalotthatyoust il
lneedtodo
i
nt hi
swor ld.Youstil
lhavetoreachy ourdesti
ny.
Thisdiseasey ouarefaci
ngisnot hing,youaregoing
toconqueri tandcomeoutst ronger .Buttheworsti
s
yettocome.Ther ear egoi
ngt obepeopl ewhowill
befri
endy ouinthenearfuturewhodonothav eyour
bestinter
estsathear t
.Sti
ckwi t
hy ourcur r
ent
fr
iends.”

Me:“whati
stheworstt
hati
sy ett
ocomeKhokho?
”
shedoesn’
tanswermyquest
ion.
Khokho: “
Iwanty out opraywhenfacedwitht ough
si
tuati
ons.Youdon’ thav etogotochurch,butmake
Gody ourtherapi
st.Iknowy oudon’tknowhowt o
pray,
butjustclosey oureyes,cal
luponhisname
andtellhi
m whaty ouwant .Alsotr
ustyourinsti
ncts.
Theyarenev erwrong. ”

Me:“youarenotgoi
ngtoansweranyofmy
quest
ions?
”shelaughs.
Khokho:“
mzukuluIam notyourst
udent.Idon’
towe
youanswers,j
ustgui
danceandadviceandwarning
whenthereisdanger
.”
Me:
“youar
eful
lyour
sel
fyazi
.”

Khokho:
“soIhav
ebeent
old.
”Il
aughather
.
Me:“whataboutt
hechosenonet
heor
y?”sher
oll
s
hereyes.
Khokho:
“whathaveIj
usttoldyoumzukul
u?”she
st
andsupanddisappear
s.’Isi
ghandwakeup.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER23

Thef ol
l
owingmor ningmygi r
lscomeandv isi
tme.
Theyspendhal fthedaywi thmeandl eaveinthe
aft
ernoon.LateronMv elocomest ovi
sitme.Ireall
y
wasn’texpecti
nghi m.Iguessnewsaboutmebei ng
atthehospitalt
ravelledveryf
ast .Hehugsmeand
pl
acest hehugebouquetofMor ningGlori
es,which
arebluefl
ower swi t
hat ouchofy ell
owandwhi t
e.He
si
tsdownont hev i
sitor’
schairandaskshowIam
doing.

Me:“Iam fi
neMvel
o.It
’sj
ustt
hatwhatev
eri
tist
hat
Iam suff
eri
ngfr
om hur
tsl
ikeabi
tchsometi
mes,but
over
allIam r
eal
l
yfi
ne.”
Mv
elo:
“youst
il
lar
en’
tdat
ing?
”
Me:“don’
tstar
tont
hatplease.It
oldy
ouIdon’
tdat
e
andIam sti
cki
ngonthat
.”

Mv el
o:“therear
epicturesofy ouont henetwiththe
Ntuli
producerandr umor sarecircul
atingstat
ing
thatyouguy sareactuall
yani t
em. ”Igetfr
ustrat
ed
i
mmedi atel
yandsitupst r
aight,i
gnoringthesharp
painthatshootsli
keanar rowonmyabdomen.

Me:“Ithoughtyoucameher etocheckupon,notto
boostony ourego.IguessIwascrazyt
hinki
ngthat
youactuall
ycareaboutme.”
Mv el
o: “
don’tspinthisaroundonmeFut hy
.Youar e
theonewhosai dy oudon’tdateandyoudon’tliketo
associateyourselfwithcelebr
it
iesbecausethey
bri
ngdr ama.Buther ey ouareagainbeingalll
ov ey
doveywi thMr.Producer .
”

Me: “
Idon’
toweyoushi
tandbett
erhi
mt hanyou
becausehedi
dn’
tgoandconfesshi
sfeel
ingstot
he
whol
eoffucki
nSout
hAf
ri
ca.
”Hescr
atcheshi
shead
f
uri
ousl
y.
Mv
elo:
“Iwasn’
tthi
nki
ngst
rai
ghtt
hatday
.”
Me:“justl
ikey
ouaren’
tthi
nki
ngst
rai
ghtnow.
Confronti
ngmeli
keyou’r
emyboyfri
endor
husband.”

Mv el
o:“
Iam conf
ronti
ngyoubecauseIf eell
ikeIam
t
heonewhoshoul dbewithy ou,nothi
m.Ideserve
you.Hedoesn’
t.Heisaplayer.Don’
tbef ool
edbyhis
l
ooksandhiscalm demeanor.”
Me:“howdoyouknowabouthi
spl
ayerway
sandhi
s
demeanor
?”

Mv el
o:“
wecelebr
iti
es,
wear el
ikeacommuni t
y,we
knoweachother’
snews,scandal
s,pastand
shenani
gans.
”
Me:“youknowabouteachother
’sshenani
gansor
youdidaresear
chabouthi
m becauseyou’
veseen
ustoget
her?Whichi
swhichMv el
o?”
Mv el
o:“
Idi
dn’
tdoaresear
chonhim Fut
hy,Ij
ust
knewabouthi
m andheisnotr
ightf
oryou.
”
Me:“
whatisi
tthatIhavet
hatdriv
ey oumenso
cr
azyandyoufi
ndy our
sel
flosi
ngy oursenseswhen
i
tcomestome? ”

Mv el
o:“
youar eamazi ng,youareabombi nbed, and
youarebeaut i
ful
,sexy ,
andsuccessful.Successful
women, hard-workingwomenandhust li
ngwomen
aremoreat t
ractiv
ebecauset heyknowwhatt hey
wantinli
fe.Youar enotanuisance.Youareper f
ect
andanideal gir
lf
riendorwife.”

Me: “t
hat’sjustitMvelo,Iam notper fect.Imake
mistakes,Ican’tcommi ttoar elati
onshi pbecauseI
havebeenbur nedbef or
e.Ican’talsokeepa
rel
ati
onshi pbecauseIdon’ ti
nv estmyf eel
ingsinit
.I
am notani deal gi
rl
fri
endbecauseIam mar r
iedto
mywor k.Look,”Ipointatthedr awingboar dinmy
ward,“evenwhenIam i nthehospi tal
, supposedto
beresting,Ican’tbecauseIfeel li
kemyheadwi l
l
explode.IfIspendaf
ewhour sawayf r
om my
drawingboar d,mymi
ndgetsf i
l
ledwithhundredor
i
deas.OnedayIknowIwi llgocrazy.Alli
nallIam
notperfectandIam f
inewithmy sel
fbutIknowno
manwi llstandawomanlikeme. ”

Mv
elo:
“butIam wi
l
li
ngt
otr
y.”
Me: “j
ustleaveMv el
obecausey ouwil
l endup
compr omisingyourhappinesstr
yingtokeepmeand
pleaseme.Pl usIdon’tfeelt
hesamewayaboutyou.
Idon’tevenlikeyou.Pleasedon’
tevercomeback
here.”hestandsup.
Mv el
o: “
ifyouthi
nkIam goingtojustgiveuponyou,
thenthinkagain.
”Heturnsandheadsoutl eavi
ngme
defeated.Iwonderwhatitwil
ltakeforhimto
understandthatheandIarenev erhappeni
ng.
.
.
If
ini
shedmydr
awingyest
erdayaft
erMvelol
eft
.I
st
art
edona24hourli
brar
y.Ithas2fl
oor
sanda
basement .Ithasapl acewher ey oucandi scuss
thi
ngsingr oups, aqui etplacewher ey oucanr ead
novelsifyouwant ,apl acewher eyoucanaccess
comput er
sandpr inters,placewher eyoucansi tand
j
ustwr i
te.Iam t hi
nkingofbui l
dingoneandowni t
myself.Iwi l
laskdadt osetupameet ingwi t
ht he
may ortodi scussmyi dea.I fhedoesn’ tgi
v ein, t
henI
wil
lmakei tprivat
eandmakepeopl eactuallyjoin
andhav emember shipcar dsandt heywillpayf or
servi
ceslikeusi ngcomput ers,pri
ntersandWi -Fi.

Inthisli
braryIal sopl anonhav i
ngabookshopwhi ch
wil
l beoutsidet hel i
br arybutont hesamebui lding.I
am onlygoi ngt osell booksbyAf ricanaut hors.I
havenopr oblem wi thaut horsfrom ot hercont inents
butIbelievet hatchar itybeginsathome.Wel lmay be
Icanf i
tover seasbooksi noneisle.ThewayIam
l
ooki ngforwar dt othisl i
brar
y,Iev enfinishedt he
sketchesthismor ni
ngandst art
edwi ththei nterior
designsalsoi nt hemor ning.Ihaveal otoft imeher e
soIi nt
endonspendi ngi twisely.
.
I
nt heev eni
ngmyf ami l
ycomest ov isi
t.Thandois
withthem.Iam pr ettysur edadf orcedhert ocome
becausei fBusiwasher e, shewould’vestayedat
home.I fBusiwasher e,theywoul d’v
egoneshoppi ng
orgonet othemov i
es, ort hespaorsal on.Theyall
greetmeandsheal sogr eet smeinal owt one.I
fI
wasar udeper sonIwoul d’ v
elaughedatherbecause
themai nladyisnother eandherasasi dekickl
ooks
l
ost.Itellmyot hersibli
ngsaboutt hedinneratWits.
Mybr othersinvit
ethemsel v
esanddadj ustl
aughs.
Timear ri
vesforthem t ol eaveandIaskt ospeak
withdad.Theyl eaveusal oneinthewar d.

Me:“sodad,
thethingi
sIam pregnantandI
miscar
ri
edonetwin.That
’swhyIbledsohard.
”He
f
rownslooki
ngatme.
Dad:“whatdidyouj
ustsay?”Il
ookathimlooki
ngat
mewai t
ingforananswer.Ij
ustbur
stoutl
aughi
ng
becausehisfacei
shil
ari
ous.
Me:
“goshdad,
youshoul
d’veseeny
ourf ace.You
r
eal
l
ythinkI
’
dbethi
scoolifIwaspregnantand
del
iv
ernewsstrai
ghtt
oyou,notaski
ngmom to
del
iv
erthem onmybehal
f?”hefi
nall
ysnapsoutofi
t
andchuckl
es.
Dad:“
youguy
sar
eunpredi
ctabl
eandpregnancy
hor
monescanmakey
oudor eal
lycr
azythi
ngs.”
Me:“
tal
kingf
rom exper
ience?
”Il
ookathi
mrai
sing
mybrow.Helaughs.

Dad: “
youhav enoidea.Yourmot hershowedme
fl
ameswhenshewaspr egnantwi t
hy ou.Inal lofour
chil
dren,youwer emor et roublesomewhi l
einher
womb.She’ dsomet i
meswakeupi nt hemi ddl eof
thenightandwearhergy m gear .She’dbel ike
‘
babakheIam goi ngjoggi ng,doy ouwannaj oinme?’
I’
dbel i
ke‘ay bowemf azi havey ouseent het ime?’
she’dcryasi fIwashi t
ti
ngherandIwoul dendup
accompany inghert ohermi dnightjog.Laphoshe
didn’
tevenj og.Wej ustwal kedar oundt he
neighborhoodandshewoul dgossi pabouther
stokvelf
riends.”Iburstoutl aughing.Ican’ timagine
mom wi thsuchcr azyhor mones.
Me:
“howl
ongdi
dthatl
ast
?”
Dad:“aboutaweek.Thef ol
l
owingweeks,her
obsessionwasbaki ng.Shebakedalmostever
yday .
She’
df orcemet oeathercakes.Theyweredeli
cious,
butbabygi rli
magineeati
ngcakeseverysi
ngleday.”
Iconti
nuel aughi
ng.
Me:“Yohy
ouwentt
hrought
hewor
st.
”Heal
so
l
aughs.

Dad:
“nowwhatdi
dyouwantust
otal
kabout
?”
Me:“Iam t
hinki
ngofbui l
dingalibr
ary
.ActuallyI
wantedtogivetheMay orthi
sideaini
ti
all
y,butr i
ght
nowIjustwantittobemi ne.Ineedyoutosof ten
hi
m upsot hathewon’ttalkmuchwhenhe
di
scoverst
hatIhav ebuil
tav er
ybeautif
ulli
brary.”
Dad:
“whatki
ndofal
i
brar
y?”
Me: “astat
eoftheartl
ibrary
.Onei nami l
l
ion.I
twi
ll
alsohavepaint
ingsbylocalarti
stsandtheywil
lal
so
besol datthel
i
brary
.Ialsowantabookshopopened
therebutsepar
atefrom theli
brary.Iwi
l
ldonate
somebookstosomeschool
kidsatt
hebegi
nni
ngof
ever
yyear
.”

Dad:“i
t’
sagreatideaandIwi ll
supportyou.I
fthe
Mayordoesn’tli
ketheidea,Iwil
lconvi
ncehimt ol
et
yourenovat
et heMunicipal
Librar
y.”
Me:
“thanksdad.
”
Dad:
“don’
tyouneedsponsor
sfory
ourl
i
brar
y?”
Me: “
shoul
dIneedt hem,Iwon’tuseext ernal
sponsorsbecausetheywillsomehowt hinkt hey
haveasayinwhathappensatmyl ibr
ary .Ihav e
fr
iendswhowi l
lbemor ethanwill
i
ngt oinv esttothi
s
i
dea.”Helooksaroundthewar d.
Dad:“IknowIshouldn’
tbesayi
ngt
his,butt
hanksto
theuteri
nebleedi
ng.Yougott
ogetsuchagr eat
i
dea.”Ilaugh.

Me:
“real
l
ynow?
”heki
ssesmyf
orehead.
Dad:“
byebaby
.Let
’shopetheNtul
igir
lwi
llcome
wit
hgoodnewssoon.”Daddoesn’
tcarwhether
Mandisai
sadoct
orwhoi smar
ri
ed.Heisbusy
cal
li
ngher‘
theNt
uli
gir
l.
’Theki
ndofdadIhave
bahl
ali
.
Me:
“seey
ousoondad.
”Hel
eav
es.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER24

*
**NARRATED*
**
Kuhledressedupintr
ackpant
swithalongsl
eevedt
-shi
rtandsneaker
s.Sthabi
l
ewatchedhi
m gett
ing
dressedandshefinal
l
yaskedthequest
iont
hatwas
burningi
nsideher
.

St
ha:“wher
ear
eyougoi
ngdr
essedl
i
ket
hatmy
l
ove?
”
Kuhl
e:“
Iam goi
ngt
othehospi
tal
toseeMi
ssCel
e.”
Stha:“
youarespendi
ngsomucht i
mewi t
hher.Ican
seethatshei
smor ethanj
ustabusi
nessassociat
e.
Isther
esomethingIshoul
dknowKuhle?
”
Kuhl
e:“
whatar
eyouaccusi
ngmeofSt
habi
l
e?”
Stha:“
Iam justsayingt
heseday syouseem to
spendsomucht i
met ogether.I
fIdidn’
tknowbett
er
I’
dsayy ouarehavinganaf f
airwit
hher.”Kuhle
chuckl
edangr i
lyandturnedtolookathiswife.

Kuhle:“sheissickmawabo.Shei sfriendandI
wannabet her
ef ormoralsupportbecausethi
sisa
di
ffi
culttimeforher.Shouldn’
tIshowhersuppor t
becausey ouaret hr
eat
enedbyher ?”
St
ha:
“Iam nott
hreat
enedbyher
.”
Kuhl
e:“t
henwhati
sit
?”hetil
tedhisheadtot
hesi
de
wit
hhishandsonhi
swaiststar
ingather.

Stha:“
youaref
all
ingf
orherKuhl
e.Icanseei
tin
youreyesev
eryti
mehernamepopsup. ”het
ookhi
s
phoneandwall
et.
Kuhle:
“Idon’
thavet
imeforthis.
”Hewalkedoutof
thei
rbedroom.St
habi
leshoutedaft
erhi
m.
Stha:“
YOUKNOW IAM TELLINGTHETRUTH,
THAT’SWHYYOUARERUNNI NGAWAY. ”Kuhle
i
gnoredherandrusheddownstai
rs.Hefoundhi
scar
al
readyreadyonthedri
veway
.Hisbodyguard
openedthedoorforhi
m.Heclimbedinsi
deandt he
dri
verdroveout
.
.
.
*
**FUTHY*
**
Zah:
“wi
l
lyoubeabl
etoat
tendumemul
o?”
Me: “i
twil
ldepend.I
fIwon’tbedischar
gedthen,I
wil
laskthedoctortogivemeanhour ,j
usttoshow
myf aceandthencomebackher e.Nomapl easego
toCapeTownwi t
hXoliandhaveameet ingwitht
he
bui
ldingownerofCli
fton.
”

Xol
i
:“Idon’
tthi
nkwewi
l
lbel
uckyt
hist
imear
ound.
”
Me:“wel
lIdon’tcar
e,aslongaswesecur
eit
.”
Someoneknocksatt hedoorandmomentsl
ater
Kuhl
ecomesi n.dearGodngifel
ani
?
Kuhl
e:“ev
eningladi
es.
”Thesei
diot
sar
esmi
l
ing
fr
om eartoear
.

Noma: “wewill
gowai tint
hewaiti
ngr oom andgive
youguyssomepr i
vacy.
”ShewigglesherbrowsandI
j
ustlaugh.Theyleave,l
eav
ingmewi ththeprince.I
takethewingsthatLeeboughtformeandst art
eati
ngthem.

Me: “y
oujustdon’tgi
veupneh? ”hesmi lesand
placesthepaperbaghei scarry
inginthet able.He
sitsonthebedandst ar
eatme.“ UnescefeKuhl e
yezwa.”Helaughs.Godwhat ’supwi t
hhi mt oday?
“Whyar eyoudressedli
kethis?”
Kuhl
e:“
Iwasn’
tgoi
ngtotheof
fi
ce,t
hat’
swhy.Ial
so
want
edtohearwhaty
ourdoct
or’
srepor
tsay
s.”Ir
oll
myeyes.

Me:“y
oudidn’
thav
etocome.Youcoul
d’v
ecal
l
ednj
e
ort
extedme.”
Kuhl
e:“
butIfeel
li
keIhadt
o.”hecomesclosert
o
meandkissesme,Ist
ophi
m whil
egiggl
i
ng.
Me:
“st
op.Iam st
il
leat
ing.
”

Kuhle:“Idon’tcare.Ijustwannaki ssyou.”Ifi
nish
eati
ngmywi ngandwi pemyhands.Ipoutandhe
ki
ssesmeagai n.Ipullhim closeranddeepenthe
ki
ss.Goshhi skissesleav ebutterf
li
esonmy
stomach.Thef ir
stti
meweki ssedIwasjustthinki
ng
aboutthehol iday.NowIam act uall
yenj
oy i
ngthe
ki
ss.Idon’twanti tt
oendbuti thasto.Afterawhile
webr eakit.Ilookathi m strai
ghtintheeyes.

Me:
“youcangonow,
Iwi
l
ltexty
ou.
”
Kuhle:“
whyareyouchasi
ngmeout
?Areyouafrai
d
thatIam goi
ngt
otemptyou?
”Il
aughandshakemy
head.

Me:“getov
eryour
self
.”Hestandsupandkissesme
agai
nandthenheleaves.Fewminut
eslat
erSandil
e
andSakhi l
ecomesi n.ifIwasdat i
ngSandil
emy
heartwouldhavebeat enoutofmychest .Ij
ustsmil
e
andtheyhugme.Theyal sobroughtmeat,f
rui
tsand
yoghurt.“
Pleasepassmet heyoghur
t.
”Isaywitha
chi
ldishtoneandSakhi lelaughswhil
epassingmeit
andthespoon.Istarteat ing.

Sandi
l
e:“
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngbaby
?”Ishr
ug.
Me: “
Idon’tknow.Iam scar
edthati
tmi ghtreal
l
ybe
cancer.Iam j
usthopingandpr
ayingthatit
’s
somethinglessscaryandtr
eat
able.
”
Sakhil
e:“youdon’thav
etobe.Weallknowt hatyou
aregoingtobeokay .Wearepray
ingforyou.We
serveali
vingGodandwear ehopingthattheresul
ts
arenotthatbad.”Inodandtur
ntolookathim.Ithen
burstoutl
aughing.

Me:“manIneverpi
ctur
edy
ouast
her
eli
gioust
ype.
”
Theybot
hlaugh.
Sakhi
l
e:“
whosai
drapper
sdon’
tbel
i
evei
nGod?
”
Me:
“Li
lWay
nedoesn’
t.
”
Sakhi
le:
“yourbr
otherdoes.Thatshoul
dputy
ouat
ease.
”
Me:
“what
ever
.”

Wecont inuechat ti
ngandt heyalsol
eave.Af ew
moment sl at
erMandi saget sinwit
hanur se.Ical
l
mypar entsandt heygett omywar dquicklybecause
theywerei nthewai ti
ngroom.Mandi sagreetsthem
andonlydadgr eetsback.Mymom i sbiti
nghernai l
s,
whichmeansshei snervous.Ihopethatwhat
Mandisahast osaywon’ tstressmom thatmuch.
Mandisat akesof fhergl
assesandput sthef i
lei
n
thebed.Shecl earsherthroat .

Mandisa:“well
t hegoodnewsisthatyoudon’
thave
cancer
.”Ibreatheoutloudandmom alsostops
bit
inghernail
s.“ Youhavewhati
scall
edaPol y
cyst
ic
OvarySyndrome. ”
Mom:
“isi
tnotdeadl
yascancer
?”
Dad:
“mkami
letherf
ini
sht
alki
ng.
”

Mom:“If
eell
ikeshei
stal
ki
ngi
nsl
ow-
mot
ion.
”
Mandi
sachuckl
es.
Dad:
“youcancont
inuenkosazana.
”Shenods.
Mandi sa:“Polycysti
cOv arySy ndromei sadi sor
der
i
nv ol
vinginfrequent,irregularorpr o-
longed
menst rualperi
ods, andof tenexcessmal ehormone,
whichi scall
edandr ogen, l
evels.Theov ariesdevel
op
numer oussmal lcol
lect i
onsoff luid–cal l
edf ol
l
icl
es
–andmayf ailtoregularlyreleaseeggs.Idi scover
ed
thatyouhav eanemi a.Sowhatcausedt hePOSi s
shortandl i
ghtmenst ruationiny ourcase. ”

Mom:
“cani
tbet
reat
ed?
”
Mandisa:“yes.Wewi l
lhav
et oremovetheIUDand
youhavet ousebirt
hcontrolpi
ll
storegul
ari
ze
peri
ods.Youal sohavetotakestat
instocont
rol
high
chol
esterol.
”
Dad:
“canshehav
ebabi
esi
nthef
utur
e?”
Mandi
sa:“havi
ngPOSdoesn’
tmeanyouwon’
tget
pr
egnant
,ifyoudon’
tov
ulat
etheny
oucan’
tget
pr
egnant
.”
Mom:
“whencanshest
artt
reat
ment
?”

Mandisa:“
assoonassher emov estheUID.Ihave
setanappointmentfortomorrowwi tha
gynecol
ogisthere.Rel
ax,youwillgetwel
landy ou
wil
lbeoutoft hi
splacebeforetheendoft hi
sweek.”
Me:
“that
’sgoodt
oknow.
”
Mandi
sa:
“Iwil
lseeyoutomorr
ow.
”Shet
akest
he
f
il
eandputsbackhergl
asses.
Me:“thankyousomuchMandisa.WithoutyouI
would’v
ehavehadmylowerabdomencutopenand
t
heywoul d’
veremov
edsomethingthatisnotev
en
t
here.”

Mandi
sa:
“Iwasj
ustdoi
ngmyj
obsi
si.
”Shesmi
l
es.
Mom: “noyouareourher
o.Pl
easecometodinnerat
ourhousenextweekWednesdaywit
hyourhusband.
Pleaseacceptt
hisi
nvi
te.I
t’
sthel
eastwecando.
”
Shesmi l
esagai
n.
Mandi sa:“okayma.Iwill
defi
nit
elycome.Take
care.”Shel eav
eswit
ht henur
se.Mom kneel sdown
andpr ays.Dadalsoprayswit
hher .Ijustdoasi
lent
prayerthankingGodforremember ingme.They
fi
nishpr ayi
nganddadhel psmom st andup.

Me:“pleaseupdatemyf ri
endsinthewait
ingroom
andalsot el
lthem t
hatIwil
lseethem t
omor r
ow.I
needtor est
.Ifeelt
ir
ed.”Theycomeandhugme.
Mom:
“okaybaby
.”Theyl
eav
e.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Sij
abulil
eandSiyabul
elagottothewait
ingroom and
every
onest oodupwhent heysawthem.Kuhl e
wantedt oaskbuthedidn’twannaappearas
for
war d.HehadseenhowFut hy
’sf
atherisl
ikesohe
doesn’twannabesubjectedtohisi
ntensegaze.
Nomawasbr
aveenought
oaskf
ir
st.

Noma:“
ma,baba.Howisshe?Whatdi
dthedoct
or
say
?”t
herent
ssatdown.
Sijabul
il
e:“shehasPolycyst
icOvarySyndr
ome.It’
sa
disorderandinhercase,itwascausedbyshortand
l
ightmenst ruat
ionbecauseshehasanemi aandalso
becauseoft heIUD.”
Lee:
“isshegoi
ngt
obeokay
?”

Sij
abul i
l
e: “
yes.Shejustneedstor emovetheIUD
andt akebirthcontr
olpill
storegular
izeherperi
ods.
Sheal sohav etotakestati
nstocont r
olhi
gh
cholesterol
.”Kuhlehadaquest ionhewant edt
oask
butheknewi twouldraisemanysuspi ci
ons,but
becausehi sancestorswor kovert
ime,Gcinoasked
thequest i
onf orhi
m.

Gcino:
“wil
lIhavenephewsandni
ecesi
nthenear
fut
ure?”ev
eryonechuckl
ed.
Si
yabul
ela:
“yesy
ouwi
l
l.
”
Lel
e:“
thankGod.
”
Xol
i
:“canwegoseehernow?
”
Siy
abul
ela:“
shesaidsheneededtorest
.Butshe
sai
dyouguy scancometomor r
ow.”LeeandNoma
si
ghedloudl
yandleftt
hewaiti
ngroom.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER25

Lat
erthatev
eni
ngLeeandNomacamebackt ovisi
t
Fut
hy.Theyent
eredherwar
dandshej
ustchuckl
ed.

Fut
hy:“
Ishoul
d’v
eknownt
haty
out
wowon’
tst
ay
away.
”
Lee:“wel
lyouaren’
tchasi
ngust
hateasi
l
y.”Fut
hy
rol
ledhereyes.
Noma: “
shoul
dn’
tyoubeecst
ati
cthaty
oudon’
thav
e
cancer
?”
Fut
hy:
“Iam f
ine.Iam happy
.”

Noma:“yousur
edosoundhappy
.”Shesai
d
sar
cast
ical
ly
.
Fut
hy:
“anynewsonAt
henkosi
?”
Lee:“
it
’sst
il
lqui
et.I
fIdi
dn’tbel
i
eveinyourdreams,
I’
dsayyouwereonlybl
uff
ingbutIknowbetter.
”

Futhy :
“maybehehasbeentoy ourpl
acebef
or ebut
didn’tfi
ndy
ou.Iwil
ltel
lBut
hot ogotoyourplace
andcheckifther
eissomethingoutoftheordinar
y
there.”

Noma:“yeah,maybet hatpsychopat
hhavebeen
t
herebutdidn’
tfi
ndy ou.Ithi
nkIshoulddi
gsome
i
nfoonhimt hatmightbest r
ongenoughtohavehi
m
l
ockedupf orawhil
e.”
Lee:“heoncehadshadydeali
ngswi t
hsome
poli
ti
cianbutIdon’
twantyougetti
nginv
olv
ed
becausetheymightdosomethingtoharmyouor
si
lentyouforgood.
”

Noma:“
honeyIhavet
ookdowngangsbef
ore.Hei
s
j
ustasmal
lfi
sh.”
Lee:
“don’
tunder
est
imat
ehi
m.”
Fut
hy:“If
eelli
key ouar egi
vi
nghi m morecredi
tand
morepowerov ery ou.Heisnotthatpowerfuli
fhe
wasabletomar ryawomanj ustbecauseshewas
car
ryi
nghischild.Thatmeanshecanbeeasi ly
per
suaded.”Leer ubbedherforeheadfur
iousl
y.

Noma:
“any
way
swhat
’snew?
”
Fut
hy:“Iwannabui
l
dmyl
i
brar
yandIwanty
ouguy
s
toi
nvestini
t.
”
Lee:“youarenotevenasking, you’
recommanding.
”
Shelaughedandt heyalsolaughed.Shewentont o
tel
lthem aboutherideaandt heylovedi
t.Theywere
onboar dandtheycouldn’
twai tfori
ttostar
tbei
ng
operati
onal.
.
.
Itwasadayaf t
erFut
hyr emovedt
heUID.The
doctor
ssaidtheywil
lrel
easeheronFri
daybecause
sheisokaybutshewillhavet
oconti
nuetaki
ngher
medsr egular
ly.LeewasatPerfumeGar den
shoppingforhercologne.Shepaidf oritandheaded
out.Shewasput t
ingherpl
asti
cbagonherhandbag
whensomeonebumpedi ntoher.Luckilyt he
perfumewasal r
eadyinherbagsoi tdidn’tfall
.
Howev erthewoman’ sphonefell
.Leequi ckl
ypicked
i
tupandhandedi tt
oher.

Lee: “
Iam sosorr
y,Iwasn’
twatchi
ngwher eIwas
going.”WhenthewomansawLee’ sface,herface
turnedint
oaf r
own.Sherecogni
zedLeebecauseher
husbandkeptmanypi ct
uresofLeeinhisbasement,
studyandpersonalbedr
oom.ShelookedatLeewi th
af aceful
lofdi
sgust.

Woman:
“You.
”Itwasl
i
keshespi
tt
edt
hatwor
d.
Lee:“
Iam sorrybutdoIknowyou?”sheaskedwi
th
aconfusedface.Asmuchasshehasseenmany
peopl
einherlifet
ime,
sheneverf
orgotaface.
Woman:“whatmuthi
didy
ouf eedmyhusband?
”Lee
l
ookedatherandt
henshelaughed.
Lee:“gi
rlIdon’tknowy ou,Idon’tknowy ourhusband.
Ithoughtmay bey ouhadsomet hingmor e
i
nteresti
ngtot el
l mebutIcanseet hatyouare
delusi
onal.Bye.”Sheturnedandwasaboutt owal k
awaywhenav oiceshehaswi shedshewoul dnev er
hearagaininherl i
fespokefrom behi nd.

Athenkosi
:“l
ookingbeaut
if
ulasal
way
sLwah.
”She
tur
nedandl ookedathim.
Lee: “
thedev il
isal iar
.”Shewalkedawayand
Athenkosi ranaf t
erherleavi
nghiswi f
efuri
ousas
hell
.Leequi ckenedupt hepacewhenshef eltt
hat
someonewasf ol
lowingher.Shequickl
ygottothe
parkinglotandbef oreshecouldcl
imbontohercar,
Athenkosi grabbedherar m.Herwhol ebody
shiveredwi thfear.“Whatdoy ouwantfrom me?”

Athenkosi
:“whensomeonecompl
ement
syou,
you
usuall
yrepl
ywithathanky
ou.”
Lee:
“notwhent
hatper
soni
syou.
”
At
henkosi
:“ahhmylov
e.Sti
llasf
eist
yasal
way
s.I
mustsayImissedy
ourfi
re.
”
Lee:
“letgoofmyhandanddon’
tev
ert
alkt
ome
agai
n.”

At
henkosi
:“buthowwheny
ouandIknowt hatwe
ar
esoulmatesandweweremadeforeachother
?”
Lee:
“please,
Iam beggi
ngy
ou.
”Her
eleasedherwi
th
asmileonhisface.
Athenkosi:“
Iam onlydoingthi
sbecauseIl ov
ey ou.
Seey ousoonmyl ove.
”heperkedherl i
psandwent
backinsidethemal l
.Leegotintothecarandstarted
thecarwi t
hshakinghands.Afteraf ewminutesof
dri
ving,sheparkedthecaront hesideoftheroad
andcalledMabut ho.

But
ho:
“Mabut
hohel
l
o.”Hesai
dinhi
sser
iousv
oice.
Lee:“
pleasecomeandgetme.Iam soscar
ed.He
washere,hetouchedmeandheki
ssedme.”she
sai
dinhershakingvoi
cewhi
let
earsstr
eameddown
hercheeks.Mabuthoinst
ant
lyr
ecogni
zedherv
oice.
Hegotwor ri
edbecausehehasneverhear
dher
cry
ing.
Butho:
“wherear
eyou?
”shet
oldhi
m wher
eshewas
atanddroppedt
hecal
l
.
.
.
Mabut hotoldThobekat hathehadt orusht ohelp
Leebecausehet houghtshewasi ndanger .They
wer ebothatthehospi talguardi
ngt hei
rboss.They
hav ebeenthereev ersinceshewasadmi t
ted.They
sleptinthecarandonl ywenthomet obathandget
changed.Thobekasai dheshoul dhur r
yandshe
wisheditwasn’tany thi
ngi mportantbecauseLee
meansal ottotheirbossandi fsomet hingbadwer e
tohappent oher ,
itwoul ddelayFuthy’sheali
ng
process.

Mabuthodrov
eoutofthehospi
talandheadedto
whereLeewas.Hegotther
eandpar kedbehi
nd
Lee’
scar.Hewentt
ohersideofthecarand
knockedonherwi ndow.Sher ai
seherheadtolook
athim andhishear tbrokeint
oami ll
ionpi
eceswhen
hesawt ear
si nhisey es.Sheopenedherdoor,
cl
imbedoutandj ustthrewherselfi
nMabutho’s
arms.Hewr appedhi sar msaroundherandshe
sobbedloudly.Afteraf ewminutestheybr
okethe
hugandMabut howi pedhertears.

Mabut ho:“wannatalkaboutit?
”sheshookherhead.
Hesi ghed.“Givemey ourcarkeys.Iwill
getZamoh
tocomeandpi ckupy ourcar.
”Shenoddedandt hen
shet ookoutherhandbag, phoneandcarkey s.She
closedthedoorandhandedt hekey stoMabutho.
Theygoti ntothecarandMabut hodr ovebacktothe
mal l
.“I
’l
lber i
ghtback.”Hegotinsidethemall,l
eft
thekeyt ohisfri
endandgotout .

HecalledZamohandt oldhimtocomepi ckupLee’s

carASAP.Het hengotinsi
dethecaranddr oveto
Futhy’
shouse.Whentheygott her
e,Leewent
str
aighttoherroom.Mabuthowentt othekit
chen
andmadeacuphotchocol at
e.Het ook2muffi
ns
andplacedthem i
natraytogetherwitht
hehot
chocolat
e.Hewalkedint
oLee’sr oom wi
thout
knocki
ngandf oundherchargi
ngherphone.

Lee:“whati
fIwasnaked?
”Mabut
hochuckl
edand
shrugged.
Mabutho:
“It
hinkthi
smi
ghtcheery
ouup.
”hepl
aced
t
hetrayonherbedsi
det
abl
e.
Lee:“al
l t
houghv odkami ghthav etookmetocertai
n
places,Iwil
lsett
leforthis.
”Hel aughedbecausehe
couldn’
tbeli
evet hatshecanj ustswitchup
personali
ti
eslikethat.Fewmi nutesagoshewas
cryi
ngandnowshewasbei ngherusual sar
cast
ic
Lee.“Thanksthoughandt hanky ouforcomingt
omy
rescue.
”

Mabutho:“
youdon’thavetothankme.Imaywor k
forFut
hybutIam kindofresponsi
blefort
hepeopl
e
aroundher
.Sothi
si spar
tofmyj ob.”
Lee:
“st
opbei
ngmodest
,Iam t
ryi
ngt
oshow
appr
eci
ati
onmoss.
”Hel
aughedagai
n.

Mabutho:“
yousti
lldon’
twannat
alkabouti
t?”she
shookherheadagain.
Lee:
“nott
oday
.”
Mabut ho:“y
ouknowt hesayingthatgoes‘iny
anga
ayizel
aphi’(
atradi
ti
onalheal
erhasnor ecourse)?”
Shenodded.“ Youmaybeat her
apistandmaybe
abletohelppeoplewiththei
rproblemsand
si
tuationsbutyoualsoneedt otal
ktosomeone.A
problem hal
fsharedisaproblem hal
fsolved,ri
ght?”
shegi ggl
ed.

Lee:“
yeah.Iwi
llopenupwhenIam r
eady
.FornowI
needtorest
.Ihaveaheadache.
”
Mabut
ho:
“doy
ouneedpi
l
ls?
”shesmi
l
ed.
Lee:
“don’
twor
ry.Ihav
ethem.
”
Mabut
ho:
“seey
out
omor
row.
”
Heleftanddr
ovebacktot hehospit
al.Hegotthere
andfoundThobekachat
tingFuthyinsideherward.
Hegotinandtookaseat.Futhylookedathim.

Fut
hy:
“howi
sshe?
”
Mabutho:“
veryemot
ional
butshei
sgoi
ngt
obe
okay
,Ihope.”
Fut
hy:
“whatr
eal
l
yhappened?
”
Mabutho: “
shecall
edsayi
ngshewasscar ed,
heheld
hi
m andki sseshi
m.Shewant edmet ofetchher
.I
drovethereassoonaspossible.Ifoundhercryi
ng
andshedi dn’
ttel
lmewhyexact lyshewascr yi
ng.”
Futhycursedunderherbr
eathandt heybothl
ooked
atherwithquesti
oningl
ooks.

Futhy
:“l
ookBut ho,
Ineedyoutogot oherhouse.
Lookforsomethingoutoftheor
dinaryandrepor
t
backtomef i
rstbefor
egoingtoher.
”Shetookher
bagandhandedhi m asetofkey
s.“Thesearekeys
toherpl
ace.Youcangotherenow.Leavenostone
untur
ned.
”Henoddedandt ookthem.Theyt
alked
forafewminutesandt
henhel ef
tgoi
ngtoLee’s
house.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER26

Mabut hogott ot hehouseandst art

edsearchingal l
overthepl ace.Hef ound3hiddencamer asint he
kit
chen,loungeandbedr oom.Heal sofoundar ti
fi
cial
rosepedal sonherbed.Ther ewer eafewnot esf rom
Athenkosi stat
inghowmuchhel ovesherandhe
knowst hatsheal sol
oveshim backbecausebyt he
l
ookoft hings, shehasn’tmovedon.Ther ewasal so
aredlinger i
eont opofherbedwi t
hanotesay ing
‘
wearme’ .Mabut hocoll
ectedeverythi
ngandev en
thenotes.

Laterthatdayhedrovebackt ot
hehospital
andt ol
d
Futhyabouthisfi
ndings.Healsoshowedherallthe
creepynotesandevent heli
nger
ie.Healsotook
pi
cturesofherbedbef oreshecouldcl
eanany t
hing
up.Futhywasact
ual
lyaf
rai
dforherfri
end.She
cal
ledNomaandt ol
dherever
ythi
ng.Shethencal
l
ed
Kuhleandaskedt
oseehim ur
gentl
y.
.
.
*
**FUTHY*
**
Iam surprisedt hatittookKuhle20mi nutest oget
here.You’dswearhewaswai t
ingformycal l.Ifi
rst
tel
lhim aboutt her el
ationshi
pthatLeehadwi th
Athenkosi.Ithent ellhim howthi
ngswentsout hand
howt heyendedupbr eakingup.Il
astl
yt el
lhim
abouthisret ur
nt oDur banandshar eMabut ho’s
fi
ndingswi thhim.

Kuhl
e:“
sowhatdoy
ouneedf
orme?
”
Me:
“youcanhackr
ight
?”
Kuhl
e:“
yes.
”
Me:“Ineedyout
ohackintohiscomput erorhi
s
cl
oud.Leedidment
ionthathehadsomeshady
deal
i
ngswi t
hacert
ainpoli
ti
cian.Idon’
tknowwhoi
s
heorshebutmay
behacki
ngi
ntohi
sthi
ngswi
l
lgi
ve
ustheanswer
sweneed.
”
Kuhl
e:“
aft
erhacki
ngt
henwhat
?”

Me: “myfri
endsandIwi ll
hav et
ogatherconcr ete
andadmi ssibl
eevidencethatwi
llbeallowedt obe
present
edi ncourt
.Weneedt ol
ockhi m upforgood.
Ifweweregangst erswewoul d’
vekil
ledhiml ong
agobutwear enot.Hehast ogotojailbecauseheis
adangert oLeeandt othecommuni tyatlarge.”

Kuhle:
“don’tyouneedmyhelpj
usti
ncasei
tgets
toodangerous?Idon’
twantany
thi
ngbadhappeni
ng
toyou.”
Me:“wear
enotdat
ingKuhl
e.St
opcar
ryi
ngt
oo
much.”
Kuhle:
“Ican’
thelpi
t.Whatifthepol
it
ici
any ouar
e
abouttogoafteri
spowerfulanddangerous?”

Me:
“ifi
tget
stoughy
ouwi
l
lbet
her
etosav
etheday
.
Youar
emykni
ghti
nshi
ningar
morangi
thi
?”he
si
ghs.
Kuhl
e:“shoul
dIsuspectdangeri
nallt
his,
Iwillpul
l
yououtandtakeoverthi
swholerev
engething.For
now,Iwil
lhel
pyou.Don’tworr
y.”
Me:
“thanky
ou.
”

Kuhl
e:“
youcanbest
ubbor
nsomet
imes.
”
Me:
“wear
est
il
lgoi
ngt
oFancour
tri
ght
?”hesmi
l
es.
Kuhle:
“It
houghtmaybewecouldpostponeandgo
ther
ewheny ouhav
efull
yrecov
ered.
”
Me:“Iam f
ineKuhl
e.Ineedthi
shol
i
daytoj
ust
r
econnectwithmysel
f.Ihav
ebeenint
hehospi
tal
for
t
oolong.”

Kuhl
e:“
ithasn’
tev
enbeent
woweeks.
”
Me:“i
t’
ssti
ll
tool
ong.Don’tf
orgett
ocomewi
thy
our
wi
fe.Iwil
lal
sobr
ingadate.”
Kuhl
e:“
hav
ingamant
ouchy
oui
nmypr
esencewi
l
l
makemesick.
”Hemakesadi
sgust
edf
aceandI
l
aughathi
m.

Me:“Iwi
llbr
ingabucketsothaty
oucanv omi
tini
t.
Readbetweenthel
ipsKuhle,
wear enev
er
happeni
ng.”
Kuhl
e:“
howI
’
dlov
etoki
sst
hosel
i
ps.
”
Me:“pl
easegonowanddoupdatemeony our
f
indi
ngs.”Hescr
atcheshi
sheadf
uri
ousl
y.
Kuhl
e:“f
ineby
e.”Heper
ksmyf
oreheadandt
hen
l
eaves.

Laterthatday
,Igetastr
angev i
sitfrom thegir
lfrom
the3Ddepar t
ment.Theonewhowor kedlat
eand
helpedmewi tht
hesecrethousepr oject
.Idon’teven
rememberhername, waitIdon’
tknowhername.
Sheent er
sthewardandplacesat akeawayont he
desk.

Her
:“Iam sur
eyoudon’
tev
enknowmyname.
”I
chuckl
eandshel
aughs.“
Iam Ar
iaRussel
l
.Iam 22
yearsol
dandIl
ovepuppi
es.
”
Me: “
wellIam 29andIhatepet
s.”Shelaughsagain.
“Outofallt
hepeoplewhocouldv i
sitme,Iwasn’t
expecti
ngy ou.Imustsayi
t’
sgreattoseeadiffer
ent
face.
”

Ari
a:“Ihav
ebeenwanti
ngtov
isi
tyoubutIwas
scar
edbecauseIt
houghty
oumightchaseme
away.
”
Me:“Iam act
ual
l
yshockedt
hatmyguar
dsl
ety
ou
i
n.”
Aria:
“theyhaveseenmeatDCCbef
oresoIguess
theyknewt hatIwashar
mless.
”

Me:
“howi
smycompanyhol
dingup?
”
Ar
ia:
“ev
er y
oneisworki
ngsohar
dinyourabsence.
I
t’
sli
ketheyar
eallt
ryi
ngtoi
mpressy
ou.”Ichuckle.
Me:“
ast heyshoul
d.”Shetakesoutanenvel
ope
f
rom herhandbag.Shehandsittome.“Whatiti
s?”
Aria:“
Imi ghthavemi stakenlysubmittedyourname
fortheAf r
icanArchitectureAwardsf ortheBest
Archit
ectoft heYear .
”Myey espopoutandmy
mout hgoesdr y.TheAf ricanArchi
tecture
Organizationonlynomi natey oui
fyourwor ki
s
i
mpr essingandi ftheylov ei
t.
Me:
“theynomi
nat
edme?
”shesmi
l
esandnods.

Ari
a:“evenmor egoodnewsi st hattheyhave
submittedy ournamei nabusi nessconferencethat
wil
lbeinBr ookl
ynwher eyouwi llpr
esentsomeof
yoursketchesi nf r
ontofanumberofbusi ness
mogulsf rom allovert heworld.Youmi ghtgainalot
ofcli
entst herebecausesomecl i
entsarealways
l
ookingf orarchitectstobuil
dt hem hospital
s,hotel
s,
schoolsandal l.
”Iqui cklyst
andupandgohugher .
Atfi
rstherbodyt ensesbutshef i
nallyr
elaxesand
hugsmeback.

Me:“
youareamazing.Ihav
ebeenwantingtogett
o
t
hatconf
erencef
oralongtimebutIguessbef
ore,
it
wasn’
tmyti
mey et
.Thankyousomuch.Whenar
e
t
heawardsandwhenistheconf
erence?
”

Ari
a: “
theawardsar
einNov emberandt
he
conferencei
sinJanuar
y.”
Me:“Il
it
eral
lycan’
twait.Idon’tevencareifIwint he
awardornot.Iam act
uallymor eexcit
edaboutt he
conf
erence.Youareast ar.Whateveryouwant ,
just
sayt
hewor dandIwi l
lgrantittoyou.”Shegiggles.

Aria:“
Isubmi t
tedy ournamebecauseyouarean
amazingar chi
tectandboss.Ididn’
twantyoudoi
ng
meanyper sonalfavors.Youdeser
veal
lthe
recognit
ioninthewor ld.”
Me:“t
hankyouagain.
”Ihugher.“Expectadi nner
i
nvi
tefrom mymothersoonbecauseshel i
kes
i
nvi
ti
ngpeoplel
ikeyoutodinner
.”Shel aughs.Isi
t
onmybedandshesi t
sont hecouch.

Ar
ia:
“Iwi
l
lhav
etopol
i
shmyZul
uthen.
”Il
augh.
Me:“wher
ear
etheawar
dsgoi
ngt
obehel
dthi
s
year
?”
Ar
ia:
“Li
byai
nTr
ipol
i
.”
Me:“
youaredef
ini
tel
ycomingwithmeandIwon’
t
t
akenoforananswer.
”Shegiggl
es.
Ar
ia:
“okayboss.
”
Me:“sodoy
ouhav
eaboy
fri
end?
”sheshakesher
head.

Ari
a: “
Iam arrangedtomar rysomeonebutIdon’ t
l
ovehi m.Iactuall
yam al esbianbutmypar ents
don’twannahearanyoft hatLGBTcr ap.WhenIwas
sti
l
llivi
ngwi t
hthem, theyforcedmet oweardr esses
andskirts.Iwasluckyt ofi
ndt hi
sjobbecauseI
managedt ogetmy selfanapar t
mentandact ual
ly
getawayf rom thei
rjudgment alsel
ves.
”

Me:“
whendi
dyoureal
izet
haty
ouwer
eact
ual
l
ya
l
esbi
an?
”shebl
ushes.
Ar
ia:
“Ihadagi
rl
fr
iendwhenIwas16y
ear
sol
d.We
dat
edfor2y
earsandthenshedumpedmewhen
shemovedi
ntoanot
hercit
y.”
Me:
“youar
ecur
rent
lysi
ngl
e?”

Aria:“
wellnottechni
call
ysi
ngl
ebecauseIam
getti
ngmar r
iedinDecember.I
fIdon’
tgetmarr
iedt
o
thatguy,
thef ol
kswilldi
sownme.”
Me:
“yoh,
yourl
i
fei
shar
d.”
Ar
ia:
“tel
lmeabouti
t.
”
Me: “butl
earntost anduptoy ourpar
ents,ev
enif
theydisowny ou.Theywill
regr ett
hei
racti
onsone
dayandt heywillcomecrawlingbacktoy ou.
”She
sighs.

Aria:
“IhopesobecauseIr
eal
l
ydon’
twannamar
ry
thatguy.
”

Weconti
nuetal
ki
ngandafteranhoursheleaves.I
r
estandthef
oll
owingdayIam di
scharged.Iheadto
myhouseandr estabit.Laterintheafter
nooni
fr
eshenup.Ii
nform LeeaboutwhatMabut hofound
i
nherhouseandshej ustbr eaksdowncr yi
ng.Iask
Buthot
ofindat emporarybody guardforherinhis
companyassoonaspossi ble.IaskZamokuhl eto
dri
vemetomypar ent
s’ house.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER27

Igettomypar ents’houseandf i
ndpeopl ebusy
mov i
ngupanddown.I treall
yisn’tsur pr
isi
ngseei ng
thatumemul oi stomor r
ow.Igr eetthepensi oners
andmygr andmashedsaf ewt earswhenshef inds
outthatIwashospi tal
i
zed.Iunder standwhydad
didn’
ttell
herbecauseshesuf fer
sf r
om ahear t
conditi
on.Shehugsmet ightl
yandpr ays,t
hanking
Godf orkeepingmeal i
ve.Sheal sopr aysformy
speedyrecov ery.Sheisapr ayerwar ri
orsoi t’
s
nothi
ngnewt hatshepr aysev erywher e.

IgocheckonThandoandf indherwi
thother
maidens.Igr
eetandsomeofmycousi nsactual
ly
comet ohugme.IthengoinsearchofLeleand
Gci
no.Ifindt
hem inthebackyar
ddri
nkingZulu
tr
adit
ional
beer.IlaughwhenIseet heNtulibr
others.
Igoandgreetthem all
.Sandil
estandsupt okissmy
cheekandSakhilehugsmewhi lethanki
ngmef or
hel
pingherreconcil
ewithhisgir
lf
ri
end.Iturnand
l
aughwhenIseeXol iwear
ingibomv uonherface.

Me:
“andt
hen?
”
Xoli
:“i
twasalastmi
nut
ething.OneofThando’
s
fr
iendsdr
oppedoutont
helastminut
e,soIstepped
i
n.”
Me: “
youhav
eeveryt
hingyouneedf
ort
hesecond
sessi
onandtheaf
terpart
y?”
Xol
i:
“yes.Lel
eboughtever
ythingforme,hedi
dn’
t
gi
vemet hechancetosayno.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“that’
smybr
otherf
ory
ou.Iwi
l
lseey
ou
t
omorrow.”
Xol
i
:“okaysi
si.
”

IseeBusist
andingontheporchwi
thherhusband.I
goandgreetthem.Shefakesasmi
leandIalmost
rollmyeyes.Hehusbandseemshappyt oseeme.
Hei sabusinessman.Therewast
hisonet i
mehe
askedt obuysharesofmycompanybutIwasn’t
sell
ing.Hetookitli
keamanbutBusididn’
tseem
pleasedwiththat
.Shecal
ledmeself
ishandwhatnot
.

WhenIgett othekitchenBusi
’
skidsrushtohugme.
Theydon’tsharethesamesedimentswiththei
r
motherandt heyareactual
l
ykids.

Theywoul dn’
tunderstandwhyshehat esme,evenI
don’tunderst
and.Shehast wokids,Thabangwhois
5andSi phosethuwhoi s2.TheyspeakTshwana
andEngl i
shmostoft hetime,well
Thabangspeaks
thoselanguagesbecauseSiphosethuhaven’
t
l
earnedhowt ot al
kwel l
.

Thabang:
“howareyouaunt
y?Whatdidyoubr
ingf
or
me?”Ifor
gotIhav
eademandingnephew.
Me:“Ifor
goty ourtoys.Theyareinmyhouse,
Iwi
ll
bri
ngthem tomor r
owbaby .Fornowy
oucanbuy
sweetswiththis.
”ItakeoutaR200not ef
rom my
wall
etandhandi ttohim.
Si
phoset
hu:
“Napha.
”Il
aughandal
sohandhera
R200not
e.

AuntFikil
e:“youarespoi
lingthesekidst oomuch.
Whatar etheygoingtodowi thR200?Youhav e
moneyt owast eIsee.
”Ijustroll
myey esandhead
backtot heloungewheret hepensionersareat.Ican
feelt
hatmybodyi susedt orest
ingsoIam already
ti
red.

Me:
“Iwil
lseeyouguyst
omor
rowmor ni
ng.Mybody
i
sal
readyti
redfr
om wal
ki
ngt
hisshor
tdist
ance.
”
Mom:“youshoul
dn’tst
rai
nyoursel
ftoomuch.You
werej
ustdi
schargednotl
ongago.Youshould
act
ual
lybeinbedresti
ngri
ghtnow.”
Me: “
thati
sexactl
ywhatIam goi
ngtodomama.”
Shestandsupandhugsme.Dadal sohugsmeand
thenaccompaniesmetothecar.
Dad:“ifitwereuptome, Iwouldcarr
yy out
othecar
butthatwoul ddefi
nit
elygi
vemysi st
ersmoretotal
k
about.
”Il aughbecauseyohauntFikil
eandPhil
i
le
aretoomuchandt heyarealwayslookingf
ora
negati
v ethingt
osay .

Me:“Fi
kil
ehasal
readycompl
ainedaboutmegi
vi
ng
ThabangandSi
phosethumoney.”
Dad:“seewhatIam t alki
ngabout .
”Webot hl
augh.
Wegett othecarandheopenst hedoorf
orme.I
cli
mbi nsideandhecl osesthedoor.Il
owerthe
windowbecauseIcanseet hathehassomethingto
say.“Pleasedon’toverworkyoursel
fandtomorrowif
youdon’ tfeel
well,y
oudon’ thavetost
ayforthe
wholecer emony.Even30mi nut
esisenough.
”

Me:“butdad…”hegivesmehi
snonnegot
iabl
eface
andIjustnod.“
Fine.
”
Dad:“seeyout
omorrow.”Heki
ssesmyf or
ehead
andthenheadbacki
nsidethehouse.Zamostar
ts
thecaranddri
vesof
f.

Zamo:“heisrightboss.Youshoul
drestandput
your
selff
ir
st.Yourhealthshoul
dbeyournumber
onepri
ori
ty.It
’snotli
ketheevenwon’tgoonif
you’
renotthere.
”
Me:
“Iheary
ouZamo.
”

Iarri
veathomeandheadt othekidsr oom bef or
eI
forget.Ipacktheirgift
s.Ial
way sbuygi ftsforthem
whenIgoshoppi ng.Ipackthem andpl acet hem on
topoft hebeds.Ij usthopeIdon’tforgett hem
tomor row.Ithenheadt omyr oom andr emov emy
shoesandbr a.Ili
eont hebedandsendamessage
toKhomot so.Shecomest omyr oom af terashort
whi l
e.Shesi t
sont heedgeofthebedandIcansee
thatshei swor r
iedaboutme.Shel ooksl i
keshei s
aboutt obreakdown.
K:
“isev
ery
thi
ngokaysi
si?Doy
ouneedsomet
hing?
”
Me:“pl
easecookuphut
huandbeefcur
rywi
thgr
een
sal
ad.Iam f
eel
ingl
ikei
t.
”
K:
“okay
.Any
thi
ngel
se?
”
Me:
“wher
ear
etheguar
ds?
”

K:“Thobekawenttoseeherchi
l
dbutshewill
be
backsoon.Buthoaccompani
edLeetoherhouse
becauseshewantedtofet
chsomeofherstuff
.”
Me:
“okay
.Youmayl
eav
enow.
”
Sheheadsout
.IopenmyTVandwatchI
nsecure.
Tal
kaboutaseri
esful
lofawkwar
dmoments.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Kuhlewasseati
ngintheloungewi t
hhisfat
herand
brot
hersatther
oyalhouse.HeandSbohadcome
foraweekendvisi
ttothepalace.Hisot
her2
brot
hersfr
om hi
smot her,si
ncethekinghadmany
wives,werestayi
ngatt hepal
aceful
lti
meandt hey
studiedatKingBhekuzuluHighSchool.
Nqabay omuziwasdoi ng15andhewasdoi nggrade
11.Simingezwiwas17andhewasdoi nggrade12.
Mkhul ul
iwas23y earsandhewasst udyi
ngat
Mt hashanaColl
ege,hewast hesonofthesecond
wife.

King:“
sowhati
sitson?Youseem t
roubled.
”Sbo
chuckl
edandKuhl
egav ehi
m adeat
hst are.
Sbo:“what
?Youdi dn’
tbri
bemet okeepqui
et.
”Kuhl
e
att
emptedtostandupt oattackSboandhisfat
her
l
aughedbeforerepri
mandinghim becausehecoul
d
seethatKuhl
ehadsomet hingtohide.

Nqaba:“bhutiwear
eaf amil
y.Youcantellus
anyt
hingright
?”heaskedinanamusedt one.Hewas
thecl
ownoft hefamil
y,moreli
keGcino.
Sbo:
“si
ncehewon’tspeakwel
lImi
ghtaswel
ltel
l
youwhat
’sbot
her
inghim.”
Kuhl
e:“goaheadDai
l
ySun,
publ
i
shmynews.
”Sbo
l
aughed.
Sbo:“ev
eni fyouweretocal
lmesisDol
l
yIwouldn’
t
mindbrother.
”Kuhl
er ai
sedhi
smiddl
efi
ngerand
Sbolaughedmor e.
Si
mi:
“Iam r
eal
l
yti
redofguessi
ng.Tal
kal
ready
.”

Sbo:“heiswhi pped.Hei sinlovewi t

ht hi
samazi ng
womannamedNt ombifuthiCele.Sheisf unny,
energeti
c,kind,l
ov i
ng,sheisjusttheper fectwoman
andbr ot
herher ei
sheadov erheelsinlov ewithher.
”
Simitookhist abl
etandwentt oGoogl e,hesearched
Futhyandf oundher .

Simi:“Name: Nt ombif ut
hiLwandlelethuCele.Age:
29.FounderandCEOofDubandl elaConstructi
on
Company .ArchitectandEngi neer.Sheissingleand
doesn’thav ekids.Shei sLele’ssist
er,thesingerand
rapperofBl ueDi amondMusi c.Herpar ent
sar e
Sij
abulileandSi yabulelaCel
e.Baf othiswomani s
perfect.Hereisani ntervi
ewwher eshewasasked
whensheispl
anni ngonsett
li
ngdown.”Hepassed
t
hetablett
ohisfatherandhi
sf at
herpl
ayedt
he
vi
deo.Theyal
lli
stenedatt
enti
vely
.

Int
ervi
ewer
:“sowhendoy out
hinky
ouar edoingt
o
sett
ledownandstar
tyourownfamil
y?”Futhy
chuckl
ed.

Futhy :“manypeopl earemor einterestedi nmy

priv
at eaf fair
s,it
’sactuall
yamusi ng.Any way sIam
mar riedt omycompany .Iam sti
llgoingt ogo
i
nter national andglobal.NoteIdidn’tincludet he
wor d‘ wish’.Ihadwi sheswhenIwasst illat eenbut
nowIonl yhav evisi
onsandIpr ophesymyf uture.I
don’tknowwhenIwi l
lsett
ledownbutf ornowmy
eyesar eonmycompanyandi t
sgr owt h.Shoul dInot
fi
ndl ov eint henearf ut
ure,Iwil
ladoptchi l
dr enwho
willcar r
yonmyl egacy.Havingahusbandi snot
reall
yapr iorit
yforme. ”thekinggav ethet abletback
toSi mi .
Mkhul
uli
:“t
hat
’sthefut
urequeenrightt
her
e.Wife
t
hatwomanbrother.
”Kuhlescr
atchedhishead
r
oughl
y.
Kuhl
e:“
shei
snotinter
ested.Iproposedthatshebe
mysecondwi
fe.Shetoldmet hatshedoesn’twanna
deal
wit
hmyBar bi
ewife.”Theyalll
aughed.

Nqaba:“
wellMaMsimangoisablackBarbi
e.”The
br
other
slaughedandtheki
ngjustchuckl
ed.
Kuhle:
“IeventoldherthatIam wil
li
ngtodivor
ce
Sthabi
leinordertobewithher.Shejustdi
smissed
meagai n.WhatshouldIdof at
her?
”

King:“sont hiswomanisindependent,sheis
successf ulandshedoesn’tcareaboutyourfameor
wealthorev enthet
hrone.Allki
ngdomsneed
queensl i
keher .Ourki
ngdom woul dbev er
yluckyto
haveher .WhatIcansayi sthattrybyallmeansto
pursueher .Don’tst
opuntilherl
astnamei sZulu.”
Kuhl
e:“
whataboutSt
ha?
”theki
ngshr
ugged.
King:“Iam apolygamousmansoI ’
dadvi
seyouto
takeherasy oursecondwif
ebutshedoesn’
twant
thatandweal lknowMaMsi mangowon’
tmake
thi
ngseasyf orher.Youar
ethefut
ureki
ng.You
knowwhatt odoson. ”Hestoodupandheaded
upstai
r s.

Mkhul
uli
:“sohowi
sherper
sonal
i
ty?
”
Sbo:“shei
sav i
bebri
nger.Sheonceinv
itedust
oa
gettoget
heri
nherhouse.Shemadeusf eel
welcomedandtreat
edeveryonever
ygood.”
Si
mi:
“canwemeether
?”
Kuhl
e:“no.y
ouwil
lscar
eheryouhool
i
gans.
”Theyal
l
l
aughed.Nqabat
appedhisphone.

Nqaba:“
Ihav
ejustf
oll
owedheronI
nst
agr
am and
Twit
ter
.”
Mkhulul
i
:“mom i
sdefi
nit
elygoingtol
oveherand
Li
saisgoingt
oworshi
pthegr oundshewal
kson.”
Kuhle:“
Iwi l
ltrytopursueheragainbutsheisinano
str
ingsattachedr el
ati
onshi
pwi t
hanotherguynje.I
am notsur eifit
’scal
ledarel
ati
onshipornot.Iam
nothappyt hathei sgiv
ingmycookietosomeguy
yaz.”Nqabal aughedandhisolderbrot
hersl
ookedat
him.

Sbo:
“whatdoy
ouknowaboutpussyNqaba?
”
Nqaba:
“comeon,Iam aZul
uman.Gi
rl
sthr
ow
t
hemselvesatme.
”
Kuhle:“youknowwhat ,t
omor r
owIam t akingt
he3
ofyout othefamilydoctor
.Youar eallgoingtoget
vasectomy .Wedon’tneedchil
drenbor noutof
wedlocki nthi
skingdom anddramaf rom baby
mamaswhenIf i
nall
ytakethethrone.Iwantmy
rei
gntobepeacef ul
.”
Si
mi:
“whataboutSbo?
”
Kuhl
e:“hei
soldenoughtomakehisowndeci
sion.
”
Simisul
kedbuthi
sbrot
hersj
ustgavehi
mthelook
andhegavein.
CHAPTER28

Thef ol
lowingmor ni
ngIgetupandt akeashower .I
makemybedandgetdr essedi naf l
oorlength
must ar
dbody condressandwhi teHi baccisneakers.
Icombmyhai rnicel
yandj ustputmypi xiewigon.I
headt othecl osetandtakeoutaj acketIboughtf or
Thando.Ipi nR100not eswhi chamountt oR3000i n
thejacket.Ithenputitinthebagt hatIam goi ng
with.ThedooropensandLeewal ksinwi t
hwhat
l
ooksl i
kemydr essonherar ms.Sheput sthedr ess
ont opofmybedandsi tsdownont hecouch.

Lee:“
Imetupwi t
hMami yest
erdayatDur
ban
Centr
al andshegavemeourout f
it
s.Gci
noandLele
tooktheir
slastni
ghtwhentheycamehere.When
arewel eavi
ngvele?
”Ishr
ug.
Me:
“wheni
sNomacomi
ng?
”

Lee:“
shesaidshewi l
lar
r i
velat
erbecauseshe
wantstony i
sauswithherbae,doingthemat chi
ng
outf
it
soneway .”Il
augh.Nomacanbechi l
dish
sometimes.“Don’
tworry.Sandywill
bethere.You
guyswill
alsodocouplegoals.”
Me:“
Idon’
tneedanot
herMv
elosaga.
”Sher
oll
sher
ey
es.
Lee:“
youaregoingtot
ell
Sandyt
owr i
teno
suspi
ciouscapt
ion,
shoul
dheposty
ourpict
ures.
”

Me:
“andwhowi
l
lyouposewi
th?
”
Lee:
“But
ho.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“uzobul
ali
sai
nganey
abant
u.”
Lee:“
heismyknighti
nshini
ngarmorandAthi
woul
d
havetogot
hroughmef i
rstbef
orehecangett
o
hi
m.”
Me:
“That
hawonderwoman.
”Shel
aughs.
Lee:
“ar
eyougoi
ngt
oeatbr
eakf
ast
?”
Me: “
yeah.Ineedt
ot akemymedicat
ionandIal
so
needt obestr
ongforthedayl
ong.Al
thoughdad
sai
dt herei
snoneedf ormetost
ayuntil
thewhole
ceremonycomestoanend. ”

Lee:“hewasr i
ghtthough.Anywaysl
et’
sgo
downst ai
rs.Khasalreadypr
eparedascrumpt
ious
breakfastfory
ou.”
Me: “
goshnowIhavetoeatreal
foodeveryday
becauseoft
hist
reat
ment?”shelaughs.
Lee:
“yesdear
.”Weheaddownst
air
s.

Wegett othedininghallandeatbreakfastwithK,
Butho,ThobekaandZamo.Theyal lseem excitedt
o
gotoumemul o.I
fitwasupt ome, Iwould’ve
postponeditbecauseIcanf eelt
hatmybodyhasn’ t
rest
edenoughbutt odayisaboutThandonotme,
andshehaswai t
edal ongtimeforthi
sday .I
woul
dn’
tspoi
li
tforher
.

Me: “
doy ouguysthi
nkanener gydri
nkwon’tgowell
withmymeds? ”theyal
lstopeatingandlookatme.
“Don’
tlookatmel i
kethat
.Iwannabet herefor
Thandoemot i
onall
yandphysicall
y.I
t’
sjustforone
day.”
Lee:
“asi
pmay
bewon’
thar
myou.
”
Me:“
let
’shopeso.I
sther
eanener
gydr
inki
nthe
f
ri
dge?”

Thobeka:
“yeah.Thereisa48-
packofRedbul
l
.You
knowweshoul doftendri
nki
tsothatwecanbeon
thel
ookout24/7.”
Me: “
you’
retr
yingtotel
lmethatyoudri
nkener
gy
dri
nkseveryday?Aren’
tyouaddi
ctedorsomet
hing?
”
theyl
augh.
But
ho:
“notev
erydayboss.Whenwear
eti
redand
wheny
ougooutatnight
.”
Me:
“di
dyouf
indaguar
dforLee?
”
Butho:“
Ifoundtwo.I
fherexisapsychot
icasIsaw,
thenoneain’
tenough.Theysai
dtheywil
lst
arton
Monday.”
Lee:
“meani
ngIcanr
etur
ntomyhouser
ight
?”
But
ho:“
yesbutyou’
dhav
et ochangey
ourl
ocksand
i
ncr
easesecur
it
ymeasures.
”
Lee:“Idon’
tmind.Asmuchasbeingwit
hFut
hy
underoneroofisablast
,Iki
ndofmissmyown
space.”

Me:“
Ifeltl
i
kethatwhenIwasatthehospi
tal
.You’
re
al
sogoingtot
heev entK?
”shesmil
es.
K:“y
esIam butmyfi
ancéwillf
etchmef r
om ther
e.
Hewantsmet omeethi
ssibli
ngs.Theystay
over
seasandtheyar
eherefortheweekend.They
ar
riv
edtoday.
”
Me:“wel
lyoucantaketheMondayoffandcome
backonTuesday
.XoliandThobekawil
ldothe
cooki
ng.
”
K:
“thanksboss.
”
Wef i
nisheatingandIgobackt omyr oom.Ichange
tomynewdr essandwearamat chingheadwr ap
caref
ullyontopofmyweav e.Iappl ysomemake- up
on.Idon’tchangemysneaker sbecauseIam noti n
themoodofwear ingheelstoday.Ipackmyst uffi
n
mynav yhandbagandal sot
aket hebagwi th
Thando’sjacket,
andheadoutaf tertakingmy
Lambor ghi
nikeysandt heX1key s.Igetdownst airs
andfindmyhousemat esreadyandl ookingsuperfl
y.
Ihandthekey stoZamo.

Me: “
youar edr
ivi
ngthel
ambot odayandButho,
”I
thr
owt heX1key stohi
m,“handl
ewithcar
e.”He
chuckles.
But
ho:
“sur
eboss.
”
Me:“Ipackedtoysformynieceandnephew.They
arei
ntheirroom ontopofthei
rbeds.Pl
easeget
them f
orme. ”ThobekaandKquickl
yrushther
e.

Wegoout
sideandwaitf
ort
hecarsint
hedri
veway.
Fewmomentsl
atert
heypar
kthem i
nfr
ontofusand
wehopon.It extLeeaski nghert orefi
llt
heBeamer
tankandIthentransferfuel moneyt oher.It
ell
Zamot opassbyt hegaragesot hatwecanf uelup.
Wedr i
veoutandmi nut
esl aterwegett othegarage.
Thepetrolat
tendantsattendt ous.Iseeabunchof
boyssingi
ng,wearingsocceruni form.Whent hesee
thetwocarstheygocr azyandst ar
ttakingvi
deos.I
getoutofthecarandheadi nsidetheshop.Ibuy
coff
eeatWi mpy.Iheadout sideandf i
ndthem
surr
oundingthecars.Af ewt urntome.

Boy1:“
youar
eNt
ombi
fut
hiCel
ethear
chi
tect
?!”I
smil
e.
Me:
“yept
hat
’sme.
”It
akeasi
pofmycof
fee.
Boy2:
“Il
ovey
ourcar
.”
Me:
“wel
lthanky
ou.Ar
eyouguy
s’hungr
y?”
Them:
“YES!
”
Me:“let’
sgoinsi
deWi mpysothatIcanbuyfoodfor
y’
all
.”theyal
lcheerandweheadinside.Leef
oll
ows
behi
nd.
Lee:
“Iwi
l
lbuydr
inksandsnacksf
ort
hem.
”
Me:“t
hanksfr
iend.
”It
urnt
otheboy
s.“
Whatdoy
ou
guy
swant ?
”
Boy3:“burgerandf
ri
essi
si.I
t’
sabet
teropt
ionf
or
ever
yone.”
Me:
“howmanyar
eyouguy
s?”
Boy1:
“23.”Inodandor derburgersforall
ofthem
wit
hfr
iedchipsand4f ull
chickens.Ithenorderi
ce
cr
eam foral
lofthem andhandt hem thei
rrecei
pts.
Them:
“THANKYOUSI
SI!
”

Me: “
you’r
ewelcome.Now3ofy ou,
comewi thme
sothatyoucangety ourdr
inks.”Weheadt owhere
Leeisatandshehandst hem thedrinksandthe
snacks.Theythankheragainandwegeti ntothe
carsanddriv
ehome.
Zamo: “
youreal
lyareanangelandal
ocalher
o.Iam
pret
tysuret
heircoachhadafewbuckstobuyfood
fort
hem butyouhav ej
ustsav
edhim bi
gti
me.”
Me: “
it
’sthel
i
ttl
ethi
ngswedothatcount
s.Pl
usthi
s
j
ustgav emeanideabutIwi
l
lstar
tworki
ngonit
nextyear.
”
Zamo:“Iwi
shtobey ourkid.
”Il
augh.“Becauset
hen
I
’dhav
eagol denheartl
ikeyour
s.”Ismil
e.
Me:
“thanksZamo.
”

Wegethomeandf i
ndt heguest salreadymov i
ngt
o
thefiel
d.Wegetoutoft hecar sandf ol
lowt hem.
Zamoi scarr
yingacampchai rformeandKi sa
carr
y i
ngbott
ledwaterev enthoughIdi dn’taskher
.
Wegett her
eandweheadt owher emyf amilyi
s
seated.Zamoopenst hecampchai rformeandIsi t
down.Thandoandt hemai densst artdancing.

Gogo:
“howarey oufeel
i
ngtodayMzukul
u?”It
urnt
o
l
ookatherbecausesheissi
tt
ingnearme.
Me:“
Iam str
ongert
odaygogo,
thanksf
oraski
ng.
Howareyou?”
Gogo:
“Iam f
ine.Ir
ememberl
i
kei
twasj
ust
yest
erdaywheny ouwereal
sodanci
ngli
kethi
son
yourumemulo.”Igi
ggl
eandlookdown.Iknowthe
questi
onthati
sgoingtofol
l
ow.

Me:“gogothatwassomet i
meago.Ther
eis
somethi
ngIshouldtel
lyouguy
sbutIwil
lcomesee
youi
ny ourhousemaybeonWednesday.
”
Gogo:“whydon’
tyoutel
lmetoday?WhatifIdi
eon
TuesdayorWednesdaymorni
ng?”Ij
ustl
augh
becausegogodoesn’
thaveaboneofpat
ienceinher
body.

Me: “
todayi
saboutThandogogo,her .
”Isaypoint
ing
atThandowhoiscomi ngourway.Ilaughwhenshe
putsthespearr
ighti
nfrontofme.“Owwi t’
sli
kethat
now?”shejustl
aughsandgoesbackt owher eshe
was.

Butho:
“weareal
sogoingwi
thyousothatwecango
onceandnotdoupsanddownsesi
gcawini
sengane.
”LeeandIl
augh.
Istandupandweheadt owher eThandoi s.She
kneelsdownwhensheseesusandt heguards
togetherwithLeeandKst artpinningmoneyonher
head.Nomacomeswi t
hherbaeandt heyalsopi
n
moneyonThando’ shead.Whent heyaredonethey
stepasideandIt akeoutthejacketf r
om thebag.I
placeitonhershouldersandshel i
teral
l
ygoescrazy,
egiyaesigcawini
.

Wethengot oXoliandalsopi
naf ewnotesonher .
Shejustdoesvoshosandwel aughather .You
wouldn’
tsaythatXolii
sthesameNomxol isiwho
wasshynotsol ongago.Peopledochange.Iam
j
usthappythatshegotoutofhershellandher
ki
ndnessampl i
fi
ed.Wegobackt owherewewer e
seat
edandj ustwatchastheceremonycont inues.

Voice:
“amomentMi ssCel
e.”It
urnandseeSandy
.I
j
ustchuckleandst
andup.Weheadasidewhere
therei
slesspeopl
e.Somepeoplear
erecogni
zi
ng
hi
m andsomearejustaski
ngtot
akepi
ctur
eswith
hi
m.Het el
lst
hem t
hatheiscomi
ngback.Hehugs
metight
lyandIj
ustl
augh.

Me:
“mi
ssedmet
hatmuch?
”
Sandy:
“youhavenoi dea.WhatImissthemostis
bei
ngburieddeepinsideyouMaNdosi.
”YohIjust
tur
nandlooktheotherwaysot hathecan’
tseethat
Iam bl
ushingandactuall
ytur
nedon.

Aphot ographercomesourwayandaskst ot ake

photosofus.Byt hewaySandyi swear i
ngnav y
cott
onpant sandanav yshor tsleevedt -
shirtwi t
h
i
zimbadadaandumqhel e.Itkindalooksl ikewear e
matching.Any waysweposef orthecamer aandI
knowt hatSandil
eisgoi ngtopostt hesepi ctureson
hissocialmediaaccount s.Het akest hecel lphone
numberoft hephot ogr
apherandshepr omi sesto
call
him assoonast hepicturesar eav ail
able.
Sandy
:“canIt
akey
ououtmay
beonMondayni
ght
?”
Me: “t
hereissomet hi
ngIshouldtell
you.”Hisface
i
nstantlychangestoawor ri
edexpressi
on.“Relax.
I
t’snothingint
ense.Iam goingtoFancourtHotel
thi
scomi ngweekendwit
habunchoff r
iendsfora
weekendget awayandIneedadat e.
”Hebr eat
hes
outloudandIj ustl
aughathi m.

Sandy
:“whenar
ewesupposedt
oleav
e?”
Me:
“Fr
idaymor
ning.
”
Sandy:
“Iwoul
dbehonor
edtoaccompanyyoumy
queen.
”Hesayswit
hasmil
e.Myminddrif
tsto
Kuhlef
orasecondandt
henIt
urnbacktoSandy.
Me:
“let
’sgobackt
oev
ery
onebef
oredadki
l
lsy
ou.
”
Hel
aughs.
Sandy
:“FYIhel
i
kesme,
heev
encal
l
edmeson.
”
Me:“i
fheknewy ouwer
eshagginghisdaught
er,
his
l
oveforyouwil
lbedepl
etedmir
aculousl
y.
”He
l
aughsandIjoi
nhim.
Lat eronweheadbackhomeandpeopl eareserved
food.Thesecondsessi onst art
sandIgosi twhere
theushertakesme.That haThando.Whohi res
usher sata21stbirthdaycel ebrat
ion?The
progr ammestart
sandpeopl esayt hei
rspeeches.I
am shockedwhenIheart heMCcal li
ngmyname.I
standupandheadt othest age.Shehandsmet he
mi c.Whatthehellam Igoi ngt osay?Letmej ustnot
tal
kaboutherandj ustadv i
seher .Yeahthatwill
do.

Me:“Hiever
yone.Thenamei sNt ombifut
hi Cel
e,
Thando’
soldersist
er.IknowIam expectedt osaya
l
otbutIwill
onlytakeami nut
e.”Iturnt
of ace
Thando.Shelooksli
keagoddessandwhoev erthat
di
dhermake- updidasplendi
dj ob.Sheisev en
weari
ngaf l
owerycrownonherhead.

Me:“
youlookbeauti
fulNombedu. ”Sheblushesand
l
ooksdown.“Iwantt
of ocusont hefut
ureandnot
t
hepast.Youareabrightgir
l.Youhavethatfi
rein
yout
hatjustl
i
ghtsupev ery
wher eyougo.Don’tl
et
otherpeoplet ell
youotherwi
se.Mygi fttoyout oday
i
sv erycruci
al.Iknowy ouhav epassionindesi gning
andwi shestogr owmor eintheindustry.That’swhy
Igotyouenr olledatLondonCollegeofFashi onf or
BA( Hons)Fashi onDesignandDev elopment ,andI
paidupf r
ont.Youar etostar
tnexty earJanuar y.
”
Shejumpsof fherchairandrushtopul l
mei nt oa
hug.Tearsar est r
eamingdownherf ace.

Thando: “
arey ousure?
”Ijustl
aughather.Thando
waslikethiswhenshewasy oung.You’
dtellher
somet hi
ngandshe’ dbeli
ke‘areyousure?’
thatis
heral
l ti
mer esponsetoshockingnews.
Me: “
a100%.Iwanty outogrowmor einthei
ndustr
y
andraisetheCelefl
aghighert
hanLeleandIdid.
Thisfamil
yisfull
ofGOATSandy ouarenowoneof
them.”shebreaksthehugandlooksatme.
Thando:
“thanky
ousi
si.
”

Me: “
youar
ewelcome.Nowwipethoset
earsaway
becauset
hisdayi
sn’
taboutt
ear
s.”Shel
aughsand
wi
peshert
ear
s.Webot
hgobackt
oourseat
s.

Theev entcont
inuesbutIleaveearl
ythanmostof
thefami l
ymember s.LeeandThobekast ayf
orthe
aft
erpar t
yandNomal eav
eswi thherbaesayi
ngshe
i
scomi ngbacktotheparty.YoucantakeNomaout
ofclubbingbutyoucan’tt
akeclubbingoutofNoma,
i
fy ougetme.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER29

Thefoll
owingaf t
ernoonwear eseatedathomei n
thepati
o.Mostoft heguest shaveleft
.Theonl y
peopl
ewhoar eherenowar emygr andparentsand
Busi
’shusbandandki ds.Igav ethem thei
rgift
st hi
s
morningandt heywentcr azy.Thei
rmot herthanked
mebutIcoul dseet hatitdidn’tcomef rom t
hehear t
.
I
twasf orced.GodIwi shonedayy oucouldreveal
whatIdidtoy ourdaught erBusi.

Gogo:“
sowhati si
tthatyouwant edt
otellme
Mzukul
u?Ifigur
edIcouldn’
twaitanylonger.
”Ij
ust
l
aughather.SeewhatIwast al
kingabout.Shei
sthe
queenofi
mpat i
ence.
Dad:
“whatar
eyout
alki
ngaboutma?
”
Gogo:“wel
lyourdaughterhast
hishuge
announcementthatshewantstomake.”

Busi
:“maybeshehasf
inal
l
yfoundsomeonewho
want
st omarr
yher.
”Ij
ustrol
lmyeyes.
Mom: “wel
ltal
kmissy.Ti
mewon’twai
tforyou.
”If
shewasgogo’sdaughter
,Iwoul
d’v
esai
dlikemother
l
ikedaught
er.Il
ookdownandplaywit
hmyhands.

Me: “
wel
lIkindofpossibl
ymayhav ebeen
nominat
edf ortheBestAr
chi
tectoftheYearf
ort
he
Afr
icanArchit
ectur
eawards.
”Isaytheimport
ant
par
tsinawhi sper.

Gci
no: “
volumesisi
.”Weall
laugh.Idon’
tknowwhyI
am suddenlyscar
redtot
ellt
hem thi
s.
Me: “
Ihav
ebeennomi natedfortheBestAr chi
tectof
theYearf
ortheAfr
icanAr chi
tect
ureawards.”Mama
andgogostandupandst artulul
ati
ng.Theyknow
thi
sisaveryhugedealforme.Dadj uststandsup
andpicksmeup.Hespi nswithmeinhisar
msandI
j
ustgiggl
elikea5y earol
d.Hefi
nal
lyputsmedown
andthefami l
yatt
acksmewi t
hhugs.EvenBusi
hugs
me.Theyfinall
ysett
ledown.

Dad:“t
hisisver
yhugebabyandIknowyouare
cominghomewi tht
hatawar
d.Ial
readyknowwher
e
toputi
t.”Il
augh.
Me:
“ar
en’
tIsupposedt
oputi
tinmyhouse?
”
Dad:“notthi
sonebaby
.May
besomet
ocome.
”I
cont
inuelaughi
ng.
Me:
“well
that’
snotal
l.Ihav
efoundaslott
opresent
myworkattheebusi
nessconf
erencei
nBrookl
yn.”

Lel
e:“y
ohsisi
youar
edoi
ngt
het
hingsandIam so
happyfory
ou.
”
Gcino:
“angi
thi
youar et
aki
ngmewi
thy
out
o
Brookl
yn?”weall
laugh.
Me:
“whyy
ou?
”
Gci
no:
“Iwannaexpl
oreAmer
ica.
”
Me:“don’
tyouwannavi
sitThandoi
nLondonwhen
shestar
tsstudy
ingt
her
e?”
Gci
no:“
Iam st
il
lgoi
ngt
oaskmoneyf
ort
hat
.”Ij
ust
l
aughshaki
ngmyhead.

Mom:
“wher
eisshegoi
ngt
ost
ay?
”
Me: “oncampus.Ev er
ythi
ngisset t
ledma.Al l
she
needsi stogot hereJanuary.ButifIwereyou
Thando, I’
dgoi nDecembersot hatIcanfamili
ari
ze
my selfwiththeplace,sothatwhent heti
mecomes
foryout ostartstudyi
ng,youwi l
lknowmost
surroundingareasofwher ey ouwillbest
udy i
ng.
Justdon’tcomebackwi t
haBr it
ishbaby.”She
l
aughs.

Gci
no:“
pleasedon’tcomebackwi
thMaisi
e
Ri
char
dson-Sell
ers’
accent
.”Weal
ll
augh.Il
ovet
hat
woman’saccentyoh.
Thando:
“owwpl
easebr
other
,nev
erwoul
dIchange
myAfr
icanaccent
.”Shesay
sinMai
sie’
svoi
ceand
wej
ustlaugh.

Well IorganizedThando’sgiftsi
ncethebeginni
ngof
they ear.Shemi ghtbeBusi’
spuppetbutshei ssti
ll
myl itt
lesisterandIonlywantwhat ’
sbestforal
lmy
sibl
ings.Whenshegr aduateIwillgi
vehercapit
alto
startherownbout i
que.That’showmuchIl oveher.
InfactIl oveallmysibl
ings,evenBusi,
insaneIknow.
Weeatl unchwhi l
et al
kingaboutumemul o.Thando
actual
lygotR16000cashpl usgif
ts.Thekidi
sr i
ch.
Ofcour seshedi dn’tbringaboyfri
endbecausedad
would’vesur el
ykill
edt hatboy.Daddoesn’tpl
ay
wheni tcomest ohisdaught er
s.Ithi
nkhewoul d
giveanymanahar dt i
mewheni tcomestous, even
thepresi dent.

WhenSabelobrokemyheart,Iwentbackhomeand
tol
dmom aboutit.Shej
ustli
edtodadandmadeup
ashitst
ory
.WhenBusi ’
shusbandaskedf orher
handinmarri
age,hemadehim workforitforayear
.
Yepthat’showhar dheadedmyf at
heri
s.Mot her
eveninterv
enedandt omakemat t
ersworse,Busi
gotpregnantwithherfir
stchi
ld.Dadactual
lybeat
theli
vingshitoutofhim.Aft
erthatheacceptedthei
r
rel
ati
onship.

Dad:“
soarey
ougoi
ngt
ospendt
heni
ghther
e?”he
asksl
ooki
ngatme.
Me: “noIhavetogobackt omypl ace.Ineedt o
prepareforworkdad.Andbef oreyoutalkabout
resti
ng,Iam fi
nenow.Ifeelstrong.I
fIdon’tfeel
goodIpr omisethatIwi
l
l r
est.Myguar dswillmake
sureofthat.
”
Lel
e:“
speakingofguar
ds,
dadcanyoupl
easegi v
e
mepermissi
ontoaskThobekaout
?”weall
laughat
hi
m.Thissil
lycr
ushhehasonThobekai
smaki ng
hi
m docrazyshit
.

Gci
no:“br
otherplease.Thatwomanistakenbyme.
Sheevencall
edmeGci .Soonshewil
lbeMrs.
Gci
nokuhl
eCel e.
”Wecont i
nuel
aughi
ng.Iam gl
ad
thatshei
snotherebecauseshewoul
d’v
epr
obabl
y
punchedthem i
ntheface.
Mkhul
u:“
whoi
sthi
swomany
oubot
hseem t
obe
t
akenby?
”
Mom: “I
t’
sLwandle’sguar
d.Shei
sver
ybeaut
if
ulsoI
am notsurpr
ised.
”
Gogo:“
awomant hatisabody
guar
d?Cl
ear
lyshei
s
danger
ousandscary.
”

Lele:“actuall
ygogoshei sfierceandherpr esence
commandsat t
ent i
on.Herpersonalit
yi sgreat.The
wayshesmi lesmakesy ouwannat r
ansferl obola
moneyi nstantl
y .Imeangogohav ey ouseenher ?”I
l
ookatmybr otherandIcanseet hathei sreally
takenbyThobeka.Ihav enev erheardhi m speak
aboutawomanl i
kethi
sbefor e.Butwhydi di thave
tobeawomanwhoi nt
imidateshiml ikethis?This
willbefunt owat ch.If
oldmyar msandsi tback.

Me:
“Iam pat
ient
lywai
ti
ngf
ort
hedayy
ouf
inal
l
yask
herout
.Thisisgoi
ngtobesomuchf
un.
”Gci
noand
Thandolaugh.Dadl
ooksatme.
Dad:“andwhenar eyougoingt
oint
roducea
potenti
alhusbandtous?”myeyespopout.Myown
fat
heralter
ingthosewor
ds?Wondersneverceaset
o
amazeme.

Me:“hawubaba”Ipl
acemyhandonmychestt o
showhim howshockedIam.Theyall
laugh.“
Why
arey
oubeingli
kethi
s?”helaughs.
Dad:“
don’tshyawayf
rom t
hequest
ionMi
ss
I
ndependent.
”
Me:“
ohhit
’sl
iket
hatnow?”hecontinuesl
aughi
ng.I
st
andup.“
WellMissI
ndependentsaysbye.
”They
l
aughagai
n.
Gci
no:“si
siy
oupreferl
eav
ingi
nst
eadofanswer
ing
j
ustonequesti
on?
”

Me:“If
eell
ikeIam bei
ngattackedr
ightnow.Ican’
t
answeryouguysi
nt heabsenceofmylawyer.Ij
ust
can’
t.If
eelli
keIwi
lli
ncr
imi
natemysel
f.
”They
cont
inuelaughi
ng,
dadhastear
sonhiseyes.
Mom: “
yohayyy
ouareclear
lyy
ourfather’
sdaught
er
Lwandl
e.Yohmtanami
.”Shewipeshertears.
Me:“by
eguys.
”It
akemystuffandheadout.That
wi
ll
teachdadnev
ertoaskt
hewr ongquest
ions.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER30

Zah: “bossy ouwon’ tbeli

ev et
his.”Shesay swhil
e
enteringmyof fi
cecarryinghertabl et.Igi
vehermy
undividedat tenti
on.Sheseemsexci ted.I
t’
sTuesday
mor ning.Ireportedfordut yyesterdayandmy
empl oy eeswer esohappyt ohavemeback.Ishoul d
fi
ndav i
ceCEOwhowi lltakecareoft hi
ngsinmy
absent iasot hatIdon’thav et
owor rywhen
somet hingl
ikethishappensagai n.

Me:
“wel
ldot
ell
Zanel
e.”
Zah:“youhavebeennomi natedf
ortheAfr
ican
Archit
ectur
eAwar dsandy ouhav
ealsobeeninvi
ted
totheebusinessconfer
enceinBrookl
yn.
”Herface
l
ightsup.
Me:“
IknowZah.Ar
iasubmi
tt
edmynamet
othe
AAA.
”Shefr
owns.
Zah:
“Ar
iat
henewbi
efr
om t
hedesi
gndepar
tment
?”
Me:
“theoneandonl
y.
”

Zah:“that’
sawesomeboss.”Shecomestohugme.
“Ishoulddefi
nit
elysendagoodi
eshampert
oheras
anappr eci
ati
ongift
.”
Me:
“you’
regeni
us.Whydi
dn’
tIt
hinkoft
hat
?”
Zah:“
oneofther easonswhyy ouhiredme.Ido
mostofthethinkingaroundhere.
”Ilaughatherand
shesmir
ks.“Any waystheAAAwant edtoknowthe
numberandnamesoft hepeopl
eyouar egoi
ngto
comewithsot hattheycansetupy our
accommodation.Themaxi mum numberf oryour
guest
sis5.”

Me: “
wowokay.Itwil
lhav
et obemyguar dsthenyou
andAr i
a.I
fmyparent
sandf ri
endswanttocome,
theywil
lhavet
osortoutthei
rowntransportand
accommodat
ion.
”
Zah:“
youarel
iabl
eforyourownfli
ght
s.Theyare
j
ustgoingt
otakecareoftheaccommodati
on.”
Me: “
that’
sfi
nebyme.Pl
easeremi
ndmet
obuya
pr
ivatejeti
n5year
stocome.”

Zah:“y
esboss.”Shehy pesandIjustlaugh.“
About
theconfer
ence,t
heywant edtoconfi
rmi fyouar
e
comingornotsot hatt
heycansecur eyourseat
.”
Me:“y
ouknowtheanswertothat.DoIhav
eany
appoi
ntment
sschedul
edforFri
day?”
Zah:“umm,”shelookst hroughhert abl
et.“Youhav e
an8:30breakf
astmeet ingwi t
hMr .Ncanana, he
wantsyoutoredesignhi sfarm houseandy ouhave
an11:00meetingwi t
hPr ofessorDemer y,hewant s
tobuil
danewhospi talandr enovatehistwoexi st
ing
hospit
alsand1surgery.”

Me:
“wowt
hat
’sal
otofmoney
.”
Zah:
“si
khandai
zakael
ony
akaboss.
”Il
augh.
Me:“
Iwil
lhavetodothei
rsket
chespriorsothatI
canj
ustpr
esenttot
hem thefi
nishedproduct
.”
Zah:
“that
’sagr
eati
dea.
”

Me:“Wi
tsi
sdoingadi
nneri
nmyhonori
n18
Sept
ember
.Areyougoi
ngtocomewi
thme?”
Zah:“
thatgoeswi
thoutquest
ionboss.Doy
ouhav
e
accommodationf
orthat
?”
Me:“wewi
llsl
eepatLel
e’
shouse.WaitdoesKuhl
e
hav
eapriv
atejet
?”shet
apsonhertablet
.

Zah:“
yeshedoes.Hehasoneofhi
sownandt
he
pal
acealsohasoneandal
soachopper
.”
Me:“t
hat
’sgoodthen.Don’
tfor
gett
osendt
hose
goodi
est
oAr i
a.”
Zah:
“yesboss.
”Sheexi
tsmyof
fi
ce.
.
.
IgobyNandost obuyaf ullchickenwi t
hrollsand
chips.Ial sobuya2l ofLi
qui fruitj
uice.Ialsobuya
ful
l chickenf ormyguar ds.Zamot hendr i
vesmet o
Kuhl e’
scompany .Thi
sisabr ibeandIam al sogoi ng
tousehi sfeelingsf ormet ogetwhatIwant .Weget
thereandMabut hocarri
est hef oodf orme.Wef i
nd
ther ecept i
onistbusychat ti
ngwi thsomeoneont he
phoneandi tseemsl i
keani nterest i
ngconv ersat
ion.
Wewoul dbedev il’
sadvocatest odi sturbsuchsowe
j
ustpassherandheadt ot heel evator.

Wef inal
lygettoKuhl e’
soffi
ceandi twasn’tdi
ffi
cul
t
fi
ndingitbecausei tisonthelastfloor.Mabutho
handsmet hefoodandgoest ositont hebenchnear
theelevator
.Itellhi
mt ogobackt ot hecarandhe
j
ustr ol
lshiseyes.Ilaugh.Thedoort ohisoffi
ceis
opensoIj ustletmy sel
fin.heistalkingtosomeone
onthephoneandhashi sbackonme.Ij ustpl
ace
thefoodont het ableandgot ositonhi schair
.He
j
umpsupwhenheseesmeandIj ustflashan
i
nnocentsmi le.
Kuhl
e:“
okay
.Wewi
llt
alkl
ater
.”Heendsthecal
land
l
ooksatmewit
hhi
shandsonhispocket
s.
Me:“
gooddaymypr i
nce.Ihopeyouhav
en’
teat
en.I
br
oughty
oulunch.
”Hechuckles.
Kuhle:“
whenmywi f
esuddenl
ybri
ngsmel unchto
work,Iknowt
hatshewantssomethi
ng.Iknowhow
youwomenwor k.Sotel
lmeMaNdosi whatdoyou
want?”

Me: “
canweeatf ir
stNdabezit
ha?ImeanIam
star
ving.”Helaughsshakinghisheadandsi tsonthe
chai
ropposi temine.Idishupforthebothofusand
handhim hisf ood.Ial
sopourthejuiceforhim.
“Gonear ethoseday swhenroyalswouldn’teatf
ood
fr
om ar andom someone. ”Helaughsagain.
Kuhle:“
youdon’tlovemeMaNdosi soyoucoul
dn’
t
possibl
yputalovepot iononthisfood.Youal
so
wouldn’
tputpoisont otryandkil
lmebecausey ou
haveagoodhear t.That ’
swhyIam accepti
ngyour
foodwithoutanysuspicions.ButIdoknowthatyou
wantsomet hi
ng.”Ilaugh.
Me:“al
wayssuspici
ousmypr inceneh.”Hejust
doesn’
tansweranddigsin.Ialsoeatmyfood.The
Nandossauceisdoingthethingsshame.“Sohow
manykidsdoyouhav eandhowol darethey?”
Kuhl
e:“It
houghtyouknewev
ery
thi
ngaboutme
baby
.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“wel
lIdon’
t.
”
Kuhle:“
Amahl eis3yearsoldandZwel ibanzii
s7
yearsold.Zwelii
ssoquietandhumbl e.Hei snot
tr
oublesomel i
kemostkids.Myf atheroncesaidthat
heispor t
ray
ingquali
ti
esofbeingat rueleaderata
youngerage.Hissist
erontheot herhandy oh.Sheis
adramaqueenandshei sjustl
ikehermot her
.”I
l
augh.

Me:
“theyseem l
ikegr
eatki
ds.MaybeIwi
llmeet
t
hem someday.”Hestopseat
ingandl
ooksatme.
Kuhl
e:“
myl
ovedoy
oumeant
hat
?”Il
augh.
Me:“
SomedayKuhleandIwil
lmeett
hem asy
our
f
ri
endnoty
oursecondwife.
”
Kuhl
e:“
wewi
l
lseeaboutt
hat
.”Ichuckl
e.

Me: “Ialsohavekids,wellmysist
er’
schi ldr
en.They
l
iveinNor t
hWest .Thabangis5yearsol dand
Siphoset huis2yearsold.Theycanbev er y
demandi ngsometimes.Thisweekendt heywere
homef orThando’sumemul o.Thabangaskedwher e
thei
rt oysareandIgav ehim moneybecauseIf orgot
them atmyhouse.Si phoset
huwasl ike‘napha’
.My
aunti
ewascompl ai
ningaboutwastingmoneyon
them. ”helaughs.

Kuhl
e:“
Iwi
sht
omeett
hem.
”Isi
gh.
Me:“mysist
erandIdon’tseeeyetoeyesowhenI
wishf
orthem t
ovisi
t,Iwil
lhavetoaskmom total
k
t
oher.Iknowitwi
llt
akeawhi l
etoconvinceher
.”He
f
rowns.

Kuhle:“
whyareyouguysnotbestoff
ri
ends?Inever
evenforoncesawyoursi
ster
satthehospi
talwhen
y
ouwer
eadmi
tt
ed.
”
Me:“Iam cl
uel
essjustl
ikey ou.
”Hel ooksconf
used,
Ij
ustlaught
obrushthisoff.Ifi
nisheati
ngandstand
up.“
Wher ei
syourbathroom? ”
Kuhl
e:“
thr
ought
hatdoor
.”Hepoi
ntsi
tandIgot
her
e.

Iwashmyhandsandwhi l
eIam dryingthem, he
comest ostandbehindme.Hepurposeful l
ybend
towardst hesinkmakingmebendf orwar djusta
l
itt
le.Hei ssoclosetomeIcanlit
erall
yf eelhim
breathingdownmyneck.Hei stryi
ngt oseduceme
anditswor kingbutIwon’
tgi
vein.hewasheshi s
handsandal sodryt
hem.Heturnsmet olookathim
andIr ushoutbeforehecanki
ssme.Hechuckl es.

Kuhl
e:“onedayyouwon’tbeabl
etoescape.
”Il
augh
andret
urntohischai
r.
Me:“soIneedy ourpri
vatejett
otr
anspor
tmeto
Li
byaandBr ookly
n.”Isaylooki
ngathi
m ashei
s
si
tt
ingdown.
Kuhl
e:“
whoar
eyouf
etchi
ngt
her
e?”Ichuckl
e.

Me:“I
nLibyaIam goi
ngtotheAfr
icanAr
chi
tect
ure
AwardsandinBrookl
ynIam goi
ngtothi
sbusi
ness
conf
erencethati
sgoi
ngtohaveahugeimpactin
mycareer.
”
Kuhl
e:“
am Ial
l
owedt
ocomet
oLi
bya?
”
Me:
“ist
hatay
es?
”
Kuhl
e:“
Idon’
tthi
nkIcansaynot
oyou.
”Ij
umpand
gohughim.
Me: “
thankyouv erymuchandy ouaremor ethan
welcomet ocomewi th.Al
sopleasedon’tfor
getto
tel
lyourwifeaboutFancourt
.”Her ol
lshi
seyes.
“Al
socanwel eaveat1pm onFriday?Ihavean
11am meet i
ng.”
Kuhl
e:“
not
ed.
”
Me:“byeKuhl
e.”Iper
khi
sli
psandheadoutwi
thmy
handbag.
CHAPTER31

Myt womeet i
ngswentwel l.Iam sohappyaboutt he
waymycompanyi sgrowing.Mycur r
entcl
ient
sar e
happy,mypr eviouscli
entsar ehappyandIam pr et
ty
suremyf uturecli
entswil
l behappyoncet heystart
workingwi t
hme.Ishoul ddef ini
tel
yhavean
appreciat
ionpar t
yformostoft hem whenIcome
backf r
om Brooklyn.

Ioncedi dapar t
yli
kethatthreey ear
sagoandi twas
asuccessf ul.Myprevi
ousclientswereveryhappy
aboutit.Ievengotthem appreciati
ongift
s,they
weren’tsomet hi
nghugebutt heymadet hem happy .
Therear ethesegir
lswhogobyt henameofDakot a
MullerandLondekaMnguni .Theyhav eanev ents
coordinati
ngcompanycal l
edEl egancyPlannersand
theyaref
rom Johannesburg.Ihav
eseenthei
rwork
onsocialmediaandImustsayIam impressed.Iwi
l
l
getthem t
oplanthi
sev ent
.

Zamohdr ivesZahandmet otheai r

portandwef i
nd
othersalreadythere.Ihav egiventheguar dsand
Kgomot soaweekendof f
.Mabut hoandThobeka
wereskept icalaboutl etti
ngmegowi t
hout
protecti
on,Kuhl ehadt otalktothem abouti t.They
seemedbet teraft
ert hatt al
k.Wegett her e,f
inding
Sandilebyt heentranceandKuhl e’
sguar dsleadus
tothejet.Wef i
ndev ery onealreadythere,even
Kuhle’swife.Thisweekendi sgoingtobei nt
eresti
ng.
Weexchangegr eeti
ngsandIgosi tnextt oNoma.
Webuckl eupandt hej ettakesoff.

Me: “Iam goi

ngtoLiby
ainafewmont hsfortheAAA.
Ihav ebeennominat
edther
eforarchi
tectoftheyear
.
Ifyouwannacome, you’
dhavetosortoutyourown
accommodat ionandti
cket
sfort
heev entbecause
transporti
scover
ed.”
Noma:“whenar
ewecel
ebr
ati
ngt
his?
”Ismi
l
eand
l
ookather.
Me:“soon,f
ornowl et’
sgowast et
hepr i
nce’
s
money .
”Shelaughs.“IseeLeei
salreadysecur
ing
t
heweekend’sf uck.
”Isaylooki
ngatLeewhoi s
l
aughingwit
hSbo.
Noma:“Khany
aandIhadaf i
ght
,soIguessIam
si
ngl
efortheweekend.
”Il
aughshaki
ngmyhead.

Me: “Idon’tt
hinkthat’
showr el
ati
onshi pswor k.
”She
rol
lsherey es.“GUYS!”Ishout,
maki ngev er
ybody
turntheiratt
entiontome.“Wheny ouandy our
partnerhadaf ight,
doy ougoandr eleasestressby
fuckinganotherperson?”
Lindsay
:“i
tdependsbabes.Ifyourpartnersai
d
somehur t
fulthi
ngsordidsomet er
ri
blet hi
ngsto
you,youareenti
tl
edtoaoneni ghtstand.Note,nota
fuckbuddy,butaonenightstand.
”
Sthabil
e:“
butthatdoesn’tapplywhenyouare
mar r
ied.I
fyouguysarehav ingprobl
ems,youneed
tositdownandt al
kthingsthrough.I
fyoucan’
tsol
ve
y
ourpr
obl
ems,
inv
olv
eamar
ri
agecounsel
or.
”

Lee:
“al
lthatj
ustforsucki
nguptosomeone’
ski
d?
YohIam nevergett
ingmarri
ed.
”
Me:“youandmebot hsister
.”Kuhl
ehasn’
ttakenhi
s
eyesoffmeeversinceIgothere.“
Wherearemy
manners?Guysthi
si sSandi
leNtul
i,af
ri
end,and
Sandythi
sisevery
one.”
Li
ndsay:“
Iam notev
ery
one.Sandymynamei s
Li
ndanibuty
oucancallmeLindsayany
timebabes.
”
welaugh.
Sbo:“Iam pr
ett
ysur
eyouknowwhoIam.
”Sandi
l
e
chuckles.

Sandy:“y
ouareoneoftheZulupri
ncesandover
ther
e,”hesay
spoint
ingatKuhle,
“ist
hefi
rstpr
ince
andthenextki
ng.
”
Kuhl
e:“ni
cetooff
ici
all
ymeety
ouNt ul
i
.”Fort
hefi
rst
ti
mesinceIhaveenter
edt
hisj
et,
hiseyesmove
fr
om me.
Thomas: “sinceyou’r
eapr oducer
,maybeyoucan
hearsomeofmysi ngi
ng.Whoknows, maybeIcan
earnmy selfarecorddeal.Iam Thomasbytheway.
”
Hisfr
iendsl aughandSandi l
echuckl
es.

Sandy
:“l
et’
sheari
t.
”
Sbo:“
befor
ehest
art
ssi
ngi
ng,
cansomeonegi
veme
earpl
ugs?”
Isaac:“owshutupman.Lethi m shoothisshot.Go
onbr other
.”Thomasst ar
tssingingandIswearhei s
wor sethananywoodenmi ccont enderIhavehear
d.
Ican’tevenbringmy sel
ftolaugh.Hef ini
shes
singingandSandi l
eissoshocked, hecan’teven
alterasingl
ewor d.

Me:“dudeI…”Idon’tevenfi
nishspeaki ngbecauseI
j
ustburstoutl
aughing.Theot hersf
ollowpur sui
t.“
I
t
hinkyoushouldjustleavei
ttot heprofessi
onals.”
Thomas:
“yout
hinkyoucandobett
erthanme?”he
gi
vesmeadari
nglook.Bef
oreIcananswer
,Sandy
answer
sforme.
Sandy:
“shei
soneofthebestv
ocal
i
stsIhav
eev
er
heardi
nmyenti
recar
eer.
”
Lee:
“Icanat
testt
othat
.”
Noma:
“met
oo.
”
St
habi
l
e:“
let
’sheari
tthen.
”

Zah:
“ashermanager,
Idecidewher
eshesi
ngsand
wher
eshedoesn’
t.”weal
llaugh.
Li
ndsay
:“mar
atechni
cal
l
yyouar
etheboss’
sboss.
”
Zah:“Iknowr i
ght
.Butt
heyj
ustdon’
tgi
vememuch
recognit
ion.
”
Lindsay
: “
Ireal
l
ydon’tknowwhyoutsi
derstr
eatus
l
ikeslaveswhereasourbosst
reat
suslikeequal
s.”
Phumudzo:“ther
eareshitt
ypeopleoutt
hereand
someti
mest reat
ingpeopl
eliketr
ashmaket hem f
eel
goodaboutthemselves.
”Myey esmeetSthabil
e’
s
andshejustl
ooksdown.Ichuckle.
Phil
asande: “t
hat’
swhysomeper sonalassi
stant
s
arerude.Twor easons.Onebecausetheyhavebeen
tr
eatedshittybefor
e,andtwo,becausetheywere
j
ustbornr ude.”
Wecont inuet
alkingaboutwor kposit
ionsandmor e.
Idon’tknowhow, butthetopi
cshi f
tstot heoneof
poly
gamyandt heyst artt
alki
ngaboutMusaMsel eku
ofUthandoNesi t
hembu.Kuhl ehasthisannoy i
ng
smugonhi sf
acet hatIwishtowipewi thasingl
e
punch.
Me:“Iwoul
dn’tmi
ndbeingMpiyakheZungu’sfour
th
wi
fe.Imeansureheisacti
ngandall,
butthatguyis
whatIcal
lafamil
yheadandanhonor abl
eman. ”

Xol
i:
“si
sihei
smymancr ushev er
yday.ImeanI
woul
dn’
tevenmindbeinghissidechi
ckorababy
mamainsecret
.”Theguys’chuckl
e.
Phi
way i
nkosi
:“manwhyy ouaren’
tinapolygamous
marr
iage?Imeany ourf
atherhasli
kefourwivesand
youonlyhaveone.Seemsunfairt
ome. ”
Li
ndsay
:“ar
eyoumay
beaf
rai
dofy
ourwi
fe?
”Iknow
howLindsaycanbe.Rightnowshei
sjustst
ir
ri
ngup
tr
oubl
e.Nomasmi rks.

Noma: “maybehel osthi

smoj oorshellingabil
ity
yearsback.
”Theyal ll
augh.Icanseet hatSthabil
eis
t
ryingsohardtocont ai
nheranger .I
fonl ysheknew
t
hathishusbandhav est
rongfeeli
ngsf orme, she
wouldkickhim outofthi
sjetwithoutapar achute.
Sbo: “
okay,okayguys.St
opmaki ngfunofmy
brother.Heishappil
ymar r
ied.Besideshedoesn’t
knowhowt ocourtalady.Youknowr oy
alsand
arrangedmar r
iages.
”Theycont i
nuelaughing.OkayI
thi
nkt hat’
senoughmakingf unofmypr i
nce.

Me:“okayguyst
hat’
senough.Idon’
tthinkbot
hthe
pr
inceandthepri
ncessar
ecomf ort
ablewitht
his
di
scussion.
”
Lee:
“weheary ouadv
ocat
eCel
e.”Theycont
inue
l
aughing.OkayIt
ri
ed.
.
Wegett othehotelandchecki ntoourr ooms.Since
i
t’
ssti
llearlywejustchangei nt
oswi msui t
sandgo
t
othepool .Thewai t
ersbr i
ngusdrinks.Wedr ink
whi
lechat t
ing.Aft
erawhi lewegeti nsidet hepool.
Wearesol uckythatthewat ertemper atureisabit
warm.Ihav ealwayslovedswi mming.Ev endadgot
meacoacht oteachmehowt oswim.I twasoneof
myhobbi esgrowingup, apartf
rom drawi ng.

Sandil
eandtheguyslaterjoinusinsidet
hepool .He
swimst owar
dsmeandj ustashei sgett
ingcloser,
hesplashesthewaterandIgaspbef oregiggli
ng.We
al
lstartpl
ayi
ngwiththewat erl
ikekidsandlaterwe
deci
det ogotothepoolsidecaféformor edri
nks.I
mustadmi tt
hecocktai
lsherear etodiefor.

Li
ndsay:“
sobesi
desspendi
ngt
heroyal
money ,
what
doyoudoSthabi
l
e?”OMG!Cantheyl
eaveheral
one
baki
thi
?
Sthabi
l
e:“Iam afashi
ondesi
gner.
”Shesay
swi
tha
fakesmil
eplaster
edallov
erherpl
ace.
Noma:
“ar
en’
ttheyal
l
?”shesay
srol
l
ingherey
es.

Xoli
:“t
hereisthi
sonequeenwhom Iadmi r
e.She
hasmanyNPOs.Somehel pwi t
horphans,si
ngle
mothers,drugaddi
cts,str
eetkidsandwomenwho
havebeenabusedbef ore.Sheisself
lessandalway
s
thi
nkaboutherpeople.IfIweretobequeen, Iwoul
d
defi
nit
elyfoll
owinherfootsteps.
”
Mbuso:“
appli
cati
onsforsecondwifear
eopened.
”
Wealll
augh.Iguesst
heyhav en’
thadenoughof
t
easi
ngKuhle.

Li
ndsay:
“It
hinkweshouldhi
ttheclubt oni
ght.Ther
e
i
sthispl
acecall
edBONSinMossel Bay .I
t’
sabout
30to40minutesaway.Weshouldgoandgetdr unk
wit
hthewhit
epeopleandspeakAfrikaans.”Weall
l
augh.
Me:“Iam gamepl
usIhav
eal
otoft
hingst
o
cel
ebrat
e.”
St
habi
l
e:“
nameone.
”
Me:
“tuneint
oyourt
elev
isi
ondear
,youwi
l
lsoonsee
methere.
”
Lee:
“that
’swhatIam t
alki
ngabout
.”
Noma:“
let
’sgof
reshenupsot
hatwecaneatdi
nner
andt
henhitt
hecl
ub.”

Weal lheadt oourrespecti

verooms.Byt hewayIam
sharingaroom wi t
hSandy .Wegeti nsi
deandhe
quicklyshutsthedoor .Herushestomeandki ssme
hardl i
kehehasbeenhol di
nghimselfforalongti
me.
Wemakel oveorwef uckforagoodt worounds.
Luckilyheremember edcondoms.Byt heti
mewe
aredone, welieonthebedpant i
ng.

SexwithSandil
eissoamazi nganditi
sthebest
fuckIhaveeverhad.Mvelowasjustanaver
age,but
thi
soney oh.Hesureknowshowt oquenchmy
thi
rst
.Wet akeanapandwear ewokenupby
someonebangingt hedoor.I
t’
sNomaandshei s
i
nformingusthattheyareheadedtotheLaCant
ina
fordi
nner.
Wegetupandt akeaqui ckshower .Aft
erthatI
l
otionandgetdr essedinnudebasi cboobtubelined
croptopwithleggings,nudeblazerandbrownboot s.
WhenIam done, Icombmyhai randtiei
ttoaneat
bun.Iputonthecol ogneandj ustputonanude
mat t
eli
psti
ck.Sandi l
eisdressedinbrownchi nos
andwhitelongsleev edti
ghtshirtwit
hwhite
sneaker
s.

Sandil
e:“
youlookgoodbabeandthatboot
y,my
God.”Hesaysbit
inghi
sli
pandIjustl
augh.
Me:“
let
’sgo.
”Isaytaki
ngmysl
i
ngbagandput
ti
ng
myphoneandli
psti
ckinit
.

Weheadt ot
herestaur
antandf indt
hegangalready
si
tti
ng.Iwonderwhot ol
dt hem tosi
tli
kethi
s.The
onlyavai
labl
eseatsare;onebetweenLeeandKuhl e
andanotherbetweenPhiway i
nkosiandSbo.Ij
ust
gruntandgositnexttoKuhlewhost andupand
openthechairf
orme.Iment al
lyrol
lmyeyesand
t
hensitdown.Foodisl
aidouti
nthet
abl
eandi
t
l
ookssoappeti
zing.

Zah:“
Ior
deredf
oryouandMr
.Nt
uli
.Wel
lIgoogl
ed
hi
sfavor
it
emeal.
”
Sandi
l
e:“
pleasecal
lmeSandi
l
eandt
hanky
ou.
”
Li
ndsay
:“bonappet
it
e.”

Wedi gin.byt
hewayZahor deredChi cken
Parmi gi
ana.ThisisanI t
alianrestaurant.Thisdish
consistsofcrumbl edchi ckensupr eme, toppedwith
gril
l
edauber gine,napol i
tanasauce, granapadano
andmozzar el
l
a.Idi dn’tknowwhati tconsistedsoI
askedt hewaitresst oexpl ai
nittome.I ttastesso
deli
cious.Ieatandkeepmoani ngoblivioustothe
staresIam get t
ingf r
om t hetable.Iopenmyey es
andl ookatthem.

Me:“what?Ihavenev
erbeent
oanIt
ali
anrest
aurant
bef
ore.Iunder
esti
matedt
hem.NowIwannavisi
t
I
tal
yjustsoIcangot
othei
rrest
aur
ant
stot
ast
e
di
ff
erentdi
shes.
”
Noma:
“countmei
n.t
hisGnocchi
Ragouti
stodi
e
f
or.
”
Me:
“canIt
ast
e?”

Kuhl
e:“y
oucant astemine.Iorderedthesamedi sh.”
Hesayscutti
nghismeatandbr i
nginghisforkcl
oser
tomymout h.Iopenitandlethimf eedme.Ichew
themeat,whichi
spor kwit
hgar denherbs.Fuckthis
i
salldel
ici
ous.
Me: “
fuckt hi
sisgood.Canweal leatquickl
yto
avoi
dmehav i
ngtot asteeverydishint hi
stable.”
Theyalllaugh.Ir
aisemyhandt ocallthewaitress
andshei snexttomei namat terofseconds.“ Honey
canyoupl easegetmeabot t
leofWi ndhoekt odown
thi
sdeliciousmeal with?”shesmi lesandnod.
Wai
tr
ess:
“comi
ngr
ightup.
”

Lee:
“canIhav
eabot
tl
eofHei
neken?
”shesay
sand
Nomaal
soor
der
sbeer
.
Sthabi
le:
“youguy
sdr
inkbeerwi
thy
ourmeal
s?Why
notwine?”
Me:
“itmakesmehor
nyandsl
eepy
.”Theyl
augh.
Kuhl
e:“
pleasebr
inga12packofCast
leLi
te.
”

Li
ndsay:“canIhaveabott
leofGraham Beck?I
t’
s
notever
ydayanoppor t
unit
yli
kethiscomesmyway.
Igott
ausei tandt
akesnapsfort
hegr am.”
Zah:
“Iam shar
ingt
hatbot
tl
ewi
thy
ou.
”
Li
ndsay
:“l
i
keweshar
eourboss’
saf
fect
ion?
”we
l
augh.
Wai
tress:“i
sthatal
lyouguyswil
lneed?”t
heother
l
adi
esor derwineandsheleav
es.Shecomesback
wi
ththedr i
nksandtaket
heempt yplat
esint
hetable.
Wecont inueeati
ngwhi
lechatti
ng.Aft
erfini
shi
ng
ourdinner,weheart
otheparkinglotwherecar
sare
al
lreadyt otakeust
oMossel Bay.Weclimbinsi
de
anddr i
veout .
CHAPTER32

Wegett ot heclubandgetat abl

eintheVI Psecti
on.
Wesi tandor derdrinks.Lindsaywasr i
ght .Thi
s
placeiscr awlingwi thwhitepeopleandt he
Afri
kaansi st oomuchbutt hatwon’tstopusf r
om
getti
ngwast ed.Hour slaterLindsaystandsup
sayinghehasadr inkinggame.Ihopei t’
snotthe
tr
uthordar eliketheonewepl ay
edinmyhouse.The
noiseisn’ttoomuchi nthi
ssect i
onsowecanhear
eachot herspeaki ng.

Lindsay:“t
henameoft hegamei s‘NeverHaveI
Ever’.Twopeoplewillgettobeaskedquest i
onsora
statement.Like‘
NeverHav eIEversleptwit
hav i
rgi
n’
.
Ifyouhav eyouwill
say‘ Ihav
e’anddr i
nkashot.I
f
youhav en’ty
ouwillsay‘Ihaven’
t’anddodgeashot.
I
tisagreatgamebecauseifyoudenyt
hestatement
,
yourf
ri
endswill
call
y outoor
der.”Wel
augh.“
Andas
apenalt
y,youwil
ldr
inktwoshots.”

Xol
i:“
vel
eattheendoft
heday
,wear
eal
lgoi
ngback
tot
hehotel
drunk?”
Li
ndsay:“t
hat’
stheplan.What’
snicei
sthatIgetto
choosethetwopeoplewhowi l
lgetst
atementsandI
am theonewhoaskquest i
ons.
”Thecommot ion
aft
erthatyohandIj
ustlaugh.“
Relaxguys,
eachpair
wil
lonlyget3quest
ions.”
Zah:
“it
’sbet
tert
hant
rut
hordar
e.”

Li
ndsaysi gnal t
hewaiterandhebr i
ngs20shot s,
wow.Theypl ay2chairsfurt
herfrom ourtabl
eanda
smalltabl
ei nf r
ontofthechair
s.Theyplacethe20
shotsi
nt hatt abl
e.Li
ndsaystandsup, fi
xi
nghis
outf
itwhichneedsnof ixi
ng.Dramaking.

Li
ndsay
:“okay
.MbusoandZah,
youguy
sar
eup
fi
rst
.”Theychuckl
eandgosi tatthechai
rs.“Never
haveIeverfal
l
enasleepduri
ngsex. ”Weallburstout
l
aughing.Howisthatevenpossible?Wel
lmay beif
theguyisnotgif
ted,
butguys.
MbusoandZah:
“Ihav
en’
t.
”

Lindsay:“nev
erhav eIev ergonetochurchwitha
hangov er
.”Theybot hdri
nkt heshotsquickl
yandwe
l
augh.“ Wowy ouheat hens.Lastone,neverhaveI
evergivenorreceivedal apdance.”Mbusodr i
nks
theshotandZahsay sshehav en’
t.“
Dollyou’
rea
saint.
”Shegiggles.“Nextupwehav ethetwins,
Phiway i
nkosiandPhi l
asande.”

Phi
l
asande:
“whyam Inotpai
redwi
thawoman?
”
Phi
wayinkosi
:“i
t’
ssounf
air
.”Wel
aughast
heygosi
t
onthechair
s.
Li
ndsay
:“nev
erhav
eIev
erki
ssedsomeoneoft
he
samegender
.”
Twi
ns:
“IHAVE’
NT”t
heyshoutandwel
aughatt
hem.
Me:
“akul
i
waguy
s.”Theyl
augh.

Li
ndsay :“nev
erhaveIeverwentonadateanddi dn’
t
enj
oyit,thenmadeanexcuset oleav
eearly.
”They
dri
nktheshot squi
ckl
yandwel aughagain.Thi
s
gamei sfunny.“
NeverhaveIeverwentskinny
di
pping.”Theydri
nktheshotsagain.
Lee:
“youguy
sar
egoi
ngt
odr
unk.
”
Li
ndsay :“
nextupi sSandil
eandSthabi
le.AboS-S.
Thatrhymes.”Sandilechuckl
esandtheygot othe
chai
rs.“Fi
rststat
ement .Neverhav
eIev erbr
okena
bone.”Sandil
edrinksashotandIjustl
augh.

St
habi
l
e:“
Ihav
enev
er.
”
I
saac:
“youchi
l
dhoodwasdul
l
.”Theyl
augh.
Li
ndsay
:“nev
erhav
eIev
erusedaf
akeI
D.”
Sandi
le:
“Ihavenev
er.Dadwasonest
ri
ctpar
ent
,
evenworsethanmom.”Welaugh.
St
habi
l
e:“
Ial
sohav
enev
er.
”
Li
ndsay:
“neverhaveIev
erdumpedsomeone.
”They
qui
ckl
ydrinktheshot
sandwelaugh.
Xol
i
:“y
ouguy
sar
ecr
uel
.”Theyl
augh.
Lindsay:“
LeeandSbo.”Theygosi tonthechai
rs.
“NeverhaveIeversl
eptwithsomeonewhoi sten
yearsoldert
hanyou.”Theyquickl
ydrinkt
heshots.
Wel aughatthem.

Sandi
le:
“youhav
ebeenwi
thacougarman?
”Sbo
l
aughs.
Li
ndsay:“
neverhav
eIeverkissedsomeonei
n
publ
i
c.”Theydri
nktheshot
s.
Xoli
:“y
ouar et
hewildestpair
.”Weal
ll
augh.Iam
ti
redoflaughi
ngbutIcan’tst
op.

Li
ndsay:“
neverhaveIeverki
ssedmor et hanone
personi
n24hour s.
”Theydri
nktheshot s.Igiv
eup.I
knowmyf ri
endiswildandIam notsurprised,
pri
ncesarewomanizers.
Phi
l
asande:
“dar
li
ngcanwepl
easegetanot
her
roundofshots?
”hesay ssi
gnal
ingthewaitr
ess.She
smilesandcomesbackwi t
htheshots.Sheplaces
them i
nthesmallt
able.ShesmilesatPhi
la’
s
dir
ecti
onagainbef
oreleavi
ng.

Me:“goandtakehernumber,
may beyoumightget
l
uckytoni
ght
.”Helaughsandrushtoher.Weallj
ust
l
augh.
Li
ndsay:“okaymovi
ngf or
ward,PhumudzoandXol
i
.”
Theytakethei
rseat
s.“NeverhaveIev
erhadsex
befor
e.”Phumudzotakeshisshot.
Xoli
:“t
hatquest
ionissounfai
r.
”Shesay
sdrinki
ng
hershot,
fli
nchi
nginthepr
ocessandwelaughather
.
Lindsay
: “
nev erhaveIev
ersai
dsomet hi
ngwhi
le
drunkandr egretitt
henextmor
ning.
”Phumudzo
takeshisshot .
Phumudzo:
“dumpedmybabymamawhi
l
edr
unk.
”
US:
“YOH!
”
Xol
i
:“wel
lIhav
en’
t.
”
Li
ndsay
:“nev
erhav
eIev
erhadaoneni
ghtst
and.
”
Xol
i
:“Ihav
en’
t.
”Phumudzodr
inksanot
hershot
.
Phumudzo:
“wel
lcanIbey
ouroneni
ghtst
and
toni
ght
?”
I
saac:“shooty
ourshotman.
”weal
ll
augh.Xol
ij
ust
gi
ggles.

Lindsay:“NomaandI saac.”Theyt akethei

rseats.
“Neverhav eIeverregif
tedagi ft
.”Theydrinkt
heir
shotsandwel augh.Comeon, y
ouknowy ouhav e
donei tbefore,
therei
snousedeny i
ngit.“
Never
haveIev ersexted.
”Theydr i
nktheirshotsagain.
“Neverhav eIeversmokedcannabi s.
”Theydri
nkt he
shotsagai n.Ij
ustl
aughshaki ngmyhead.Wehav e
beenhi ghsomanyt i
mes.

Noma:“y
ouwereai
mingatget
ti
ngmedr
unkv
ele.
”
Li
ndsayl
aughs.
Lindsay
:“QueenFut
hyandPrinceKuhl
e.”Wel
augh.
“Futhyi
salr
eadythequeenofengi
neer
sand
ar
chi
tect
s,wenaKuhleyouar
eyett
ogett
oher
l
evel
.”Welaughagai
n.
Kuhle:
“youguy
sarehav
ingaf
iel
ddaywi
thme.
”he
chuckl
esshaki
nghi
shead.

Li
ndsay:
“neverhav
eIeverrol
epl
ayedduri
ngsex.
”I
bur
stoutlaughi
ngbef
oretaki
ngmyshot.Kuhl
e
gi
vesmeal ookandal
sotakeshi
sshot.Wejust
l
augh.
Me:“Ihav
ebeenar
oundy
ou.May
bei
t’
sti
met
o
set
tl
edown.”
Noma:
“noty
et.May
benexty
ear
.”Il
augh.
Me:
“you’
rer
ight
.”
Lindsay:“nev
erhav
eIeverwent24hourswit
hout
shower i
ng.”Wedri
nkourshot
sandjustl
augh.Guys
thishappens.
Xol
i
:“awhol
epr
incenotbat
hing?
”
Kuhl
e:“
cir
cumst
ancespot
ent
ial
wif
e.”Wel
augh
agai
n.
Lindsay:“
nev erhaveIeverkissedthepersonnex tto
me. ”f
uckLi ndani.Di
dhehav etoaskthisquest i
on?I
quickl
ydrinkmyshotandt henj ogtot
hebat hroom.I
ain’
treadyforSt habi
le’
swords.GoshSandi le.Yazif
Lindaniwasn’tgoodathi sj
ob, I
’dfi
rehim.Nomaand
Leemaket heirwayinsi
dether estr
oom laughing.
Whydi dGodhav etogivemest upidfr
iendslike
these?

Noma: “
way enzaindabauLindani.Youshould’
ve
seenthewaySt habil
ealmostbeatupKuhl e.Awhole
pri
ncebeingbeateninpublicnogal.Icanalr
eadysee
theheadl
inesonDai l
ySun,‘ZULUPRI NCEBEATEN
BYWI FEINACLUBFORKI SSINGANOTHER
WOMAN’ .”Theylaughoutloud.

Lee:“l
aphoSandil
eiscoolasacucumber .Sbowas
l
aughingcabanga.
”Theycontinuel
aughing.Isther
e
aplacewhereIcansellt
hem?May bet heblack
market,y
eahtheblackmarketisagreatplacetosell
them.
Me:
“canwej
ustgobackt
othehot
el?
”
Noma: “
nope, Kuhlel
eftwit
hhiswif
e.May behewil
l
becalmingherdownandshewi l
lbescreamingl
oud
enoughfory outohear.Let
’sj
ustgogetdrunkaswe
i
nit
ial
lyplanned.”

Me:“y
ou’reri
ght
.Let
’sgo.Butf
ir
stl
etmerel
i
eve
mysel
f.”Igopeeandthenweheadbackt
oourt
abl
e.
Li
ndsay:“
Iam sor
ryfort
hatboss.Idi
dn’
tmeant
o
causet
oomuchdr ama.”
Me:“dramaisyourf
ir
stnameLindsaysoIam not
sur
prised.
”Hechuckl
esnerv
ously.
Thenightpr oceedsandIam gladtherei
sn’
tmuch
dramaagai n.Wel eavethecl
ubaround3am wi t
ha
l
otofboozeandwesmokeweedonourwayt ot he
hotel
.DearGod, Ican’
timagi
nethetypeofhangover
Iam goingtohav eint
hemorning.Wegettothe
hotelmakingsomuchnoi sebutnoneofthestaff
repri
mandus.Iguesst heyar
eafrai
doftheZulu
pri
nces.
Sbo:“howaboutwecontinuet
hispar
tyt
omy
room?”weallagreeandheadtohi
sroom.Hei
snot
shari
ngwit
hany one.

Wegeti nsideandtakeourseats.Well Isi

ton
Sandil
e’slapandwecont inuedri
nki
ng.Sbo’ sroom
i
ssoundpr oofedsowedon’ thavetowor r
yabout
otherguestscomplaini
ngaboutus.Mbusopl ays
someamapi anomusicandweal lstartdancing.
Sandil
ehassomesi ckdancemov es,Inev ert
hought
hecouldmov el
ikethatbuthedoesknowhi sstor
y
i
nt hebedroom sowhatwasIexpect i
ng.
Hecomest ositbackdownandIst raddlehim.Ikiss
him andheki ssesmeback.Hewhi sper stomet hat
weshoul dgobackt oourroom.Iam sohor nyri
ght
nowsoIagr ee.Wesaygoodby etoev eryoneand
rusht oourroom.Wegett hereandclothesstart
fl
yingaround.Weonl yhaveoneroundbecausewe
arekakdr unkandhighbutwedon’ tforget
protecti
on.Wedozeof fquickl
yaft
erf uckingor
maki ngloveasy ouguyswouldsayit.
CHAPTER33

*
**NARRATED*
**
KuhleandSt habil
egott otheirhotelroom and
Sthabil
ewasf umi
ng.Shef eltstupidforcomi ngto
thi
sget awaybecausei tseemedl iketheywer e
mockingherormaki ngfunofhermar ri
agewi t
h
Kuhle.Fir
sttheytalkedaboutt hepolygamyi ssue
whichannoy edher.Nowt heki ssissue.Shecoul d
seethatKuhl ehast akenal i
kingintot heCelegirl
anditdidn’tsi
twell withher.

Sthabi
le:
“whenyouseemedoy ouseeafool
Kuhle?
”Kuhlesi
ghedandst
art
edtakingof
fhi
s
cl
othes.
Kuhl
e:“
canwenott
alkaboutt
hisnow?Wear
eher
e
t
ohav
efun,notf
ight.I
fyouwannaf
ight
,whydon’
t
y
ougobacktoDurban?”
Sthabil
e:“sothaty
oucanhav eti
met obondwith
yourmi st
ress?Whobyt hewayisherewithher
boyfri
end?Kuhlewhyarey oudoingthi
stome?”she
askedwi t
hherv oi
cenearl
ybreaking.

Kuhl
e:“
youarej
umpingi
ntoconcl
usi
ons.I
twasa
gameoftr
uthordar
eandIwasdaredtoki
ssher
.”
Sthabil
e:“t
hatwastheonlyt
imeyoukissedher
?”
Kuhlelookeddownanddidn’
tanswerhiswif
e.
I
nsteadhecont i
nuedtaki
ngoffhi
scl
othesunti
lhe
wasl ef
twithonl
yboxers.

Kuhl
e:“
stopt
ryi
ngt
ohur
tyour
sel
f.
”
St
habi
l
e:“
doy
oul
oveher
?”
Kuhle:“
Idon’
thaveti
mef ort
his.
”Het ookoffhi
s
boxersandwenttothebathr
oom buttnaked.
Sthabi
legotevenmadderandalsotookoffher
cl
othesbecauseshewantedanswers.Shemadeher
waytotheshowerandf
oundKuhl
ejustst
andi
ng
undert
herunni
ngwater
.Shegoti
nsi
deandheldhi
m
fr
om behi
nd.

Sthabil
e:“
Idon’twannafightKuhlebuty
ouar
e
keepingmei nthedarkandy ouknowhowIhate
that.
”heturnedandlookedather.
Kuhle:“
Iam sorr
yandther
ei snothi
nggoingon
betweenFuthyandI.wear
ej ustbusi
ness
associ
atesandfri
ends.
”Sthabil
elookedathi
m wit
h
eyestocheckifheisl
yi
ngandhi seyesdidn’
tgi
ve
awayany t
hing.

Sthabi
le:
“fi
ne.Nowcany oupleasepl
easurememy
dearhusband?”Kuhl
echuckledandpickedherup
makingherwrapherlegsaroundhiswaist
.
Kuhl
e:“
yourwishismycommandmyqueen.
”He
ki
ssedherneck.
.
.
SboandLeesneakedoutandwentt oLee’sroom
sincetheothersweresti
ll
dr i
nkinganddancingi
n
Sbo’sr oom.TheygottoLee’sroom andassoonas
Sbocl osedthedoor,t
heystartedundressi
ngeach
other.TheykissedeachotherwhileSbobackedLee
tothebed.Shef ell
andSbot oweredont opofher
.

Sbo:“
all
owmet okissev
eryvi
sibl
epar
tiny
our
body
.”Shechuckl
edandnodded.
.
.
Phumudzor eal
lygothisoneni ghtstandwi t
hXol i
.
Hewor shippedherbodyandl eftherwant i
ngmor e.
Theysleptinonebedwi ththei rbodiestangled.
Phumudzowi shedthatXol idoesn’trejecthi
mi nthe
mor ni
ngbecauseher eall
ylikedher .Hei sj
ustoneof
thoseguyswhoar eafraidofr eject
ion.Hesawhow
i
nnocentandwel l
-manner edshewasandwi shedto
j
ustmar ryherrightt
her eandt hen.
.
.
ZahandMbusowentt oZah’sroom andtheychatt
ed
aboutalotofthi
ngs.Theykissedbutitendedt
here.
Theydidshareabedt houghandMbusowaskeen
onknowingmor eofher.Heev enpromisedtovi
sit
heratworkmor eoft
enandev entakeherouton
dates.
.
.
Nomawentt obedwi t
hLindsaywhowast al
kingnon
-st
opandent ertai
nedNoma.Theyev ent al
kedabout
Noma’ srel
ationshi
pwithKhany aandNomaopened
uptohi m.Shet ol
dhim howKhany aislikeandhow
hefeelsaboutNoma’ swealth.Mostofhi sfri
ends
tol
dhimt hatNomai sjustusinghimf orsex.What
canshepossi blywantfr
om awai terwhenshei sa
successfulandaweal t
hylawy er
?

Khanya,asidi
oticandasnarrowmindedasheis,
bel
ievedhisfr
iendsandthatcausedari
ftint
hei
r
rel
ati
onshi
p.Thewayhet alkedtoNomar eal
l
yhurt
herf
eeli
ngsandhedidn’
tevenapol
ogize.I
fshe
di
dn’
tlovehi
m asshedid,shewoul
d’v
edumpedhim
i
nthespot.

Noma: “
whatdoy out
hinkIshoul
ddo?”sheasked
wit
htearst
hreat
eningtocomeout.Li
ndsayhugged
herandshestar
tedsni
ffi
ng.
Lindsay:“heisaloseranddoesn’tdeserv
eaqueen
l
ikey ou.Noof f
encetoguysundert heageof30,but
heisact i
ngchildi
sh.Ihopeyoucanseewhyot her
l
adiespr eferol
derandmat ur
edguy s.Ouragemates
aretoost upidf
orus.”Nomagi ggl
ed.

Noma: “Ij
ustdon’twannaendupli
kemostri
chand
successfulwomenoutt her
e.Si
ngl
eandmiser
abl
e.”
Li
ndsaybr ushedherback.
Li
ndsay:
“ift
hingsdon’tworkoutwit
ht hi
sone,y
ou
wil
lfi
ndanotherwhowi l
ltr
eatyouli
keaqueen.Who
knows?Maybey oursoulmateisinFrance.
”Noma
l
aughed.
Noma:“
ifheisther
et henIwouldbookaf
li
ghtt
o
Fr
ancei
nstantl
y.
”Lindsaylaughed.
Lindsay
: “
that
’st
hespir
itbabe.Stopcr
yingbecause
ofsomeonewhodoesn’ tknowy ourworthandli
sten
tohisfr
iendsmorethanhelist
enstoyou.”
Noma:“si
ncewhenar
eyout
hiswi
se?
”Li
ndsay
l
aughedagai
n.

Li
ndsay:
“si
nceIdrankexpensi
vewi
neatdi
nner
.”
Theybot
hlaughedoutl
oud.Nomastoodup.
Noma:“
letmet
akeashowerbef
oreIsl
eep.
”Li
ndsay
al
sost
oodupandhuggedher
.
Li
ndsay:
“nowIcansleepwel l
knowi
ngthaty
ou
won’
tcommitsui
cideoncey ou’r
eal
one.
”Noma
l
aughedagai
n.“
Goodni ghtorgoodmorni
ng.
”

Noma:“
goodmorni
ng.
”Lindsayl
eftandwentt
ohi
s
r
oom whi
leNomawenttotheshower.
Shet houghtaboutwhatt heyhavejusttalkedabout
withLindsayanddeci dedthatassoonassheget
backt oDur ban,shewi l
ltal
kwi t
hKhany aandset
somegr oundr ul
es.Thewayhespoket oher ,r
eall
y
brokeherhear tandhur therfeeli
ngs.Shewas
hopingthatheseeshi sfaultandapologizebefore
i
t’
st oolate.Shef i
nishedshower ingandwentt obed
butherhear twasn’tatease.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER34

*
**NOMXOLI
SI*
**
Iwakeupt osomeone’ shandsar oundmynaked
body.Pleaselorddon’tlett
hisbewhatIt hi
nkitis.
Howdr unkwasIl astnightthatIsleptupwi t
ha
str
anger.Itur
nandInear l
yfaintwhenIsee
Phumudzonextt ome.Hedi dsayhewoul dl
ikeme
tobehisoneni ghtstandbutIdi dn’tt
hinkhewas
seri
ous.Whathav eIdone?It rymov i
ngandhej ust
ti
ghtenshishold.

Me:“youneedtowakeupPhumudzo.
”Myvoiceis
hoar
sefrom al
lthev
odkaIwasdr
inki
ngy
esterday.
Hi
m:“
why
?Weai
n’
trushi
ngany
wher
e.”
Me:
“weshoul
dn’
thav
edonet
his.Youhav
eababy
mamaandi…”hequickl
ysi
tsupst
rai
ghtandpi
ck
meupsothatIcanstr
addl
ehim.

Him:“baby.
”Ishakemyheadwhil
elooki
ng
ever
ywherebesideshisey
es.“
Wearen’
tleav
ingt
his
room unt
ilwetal
k.”Isi
ghandl
ookathim.
Me:
“okayf
ine.Tal
k.”

Him:“f
ir
stlyIam sorryforlastnightorthismor ni
ng.
Ishoul
dn’thavet
akenadv antageofy ou.Al t
hough
webothwant edeachot her,Ishouldn’thave.I
shoul
dhav ecourtedyout her i
ghtwayandl etyou
knowmyf eel
i
ngsf oryoubef oreevensl eepingwi
th
you.
”Ifrown.

Me:“whatf
eeli
ngsareyoutal
ki
ngabout
Phumudzo?”hechuckl
es.
Him:“
Iloveyou.Infactmyl ovef
oryoustar
tedwhen
IsawyouatFuthy’splace.Babyyouar
eani nnocent
andwell
-manneredwoman, soIwasafr
aidto
approachyou.Iam v er
yscaredofrej
ection,soIwas
afr
aidyouwi l
lrejectme.”Il
ookathim confused.He
l
ovesme, heisconf essi
nghisfeel
i
ngsf orme.I
di
dn’texpectthis.

WellIgoogl edal lKuhle’sfriendst hatcamet o

Futhy’
shouset hatday .Theyar eallsuccessful.
PhumudzoModi saneisaf ounderandowneroft hi
s
organizati
onwhi chiscal l
edNt laf
atsaYout h
Foundat i
on, whichi saf oundat ionthatteachest he
youthbasicski ll
sl i
kebaki ng, cateri
ng,pottery,
j
ewel r
ydesi gning, cl
othesdesi gningandot herski l
l
s.
Theyreceivebasi ctrai
ningandaweekbusi ness
tr
aini
ngj ustincasey ouar epl anningonopeni ng
yourownbusi nessaf t
erfinishingy ourtrai
ning.

Iadmirehisworkandki ndness.Hedoesn’
tbenef
it
from t
his.Maybekeget ti
ngaf ewsponsor
shereand
there,
butwiththatmoney ,herenewsorbuynew
equipmentforthefoundationanddootherthi
ngs
thatarerel
atedtoit
.Hei sabusinessmanwhohas
af
ewbusinessthatheownsandhei
saCEOof
Modi
saneMarketi
ng.

Heisacharmi ngman.Hei sn’tthatt al

l,dar
kand
handsometypet hatl
adiesprefert heseday s.Well
heistal
l.Heisnotbuffybuthasmuscl es.That’
s
whyhemanagest ocarrymewi thoutanyhassl es.
Heisnotthathandsome, buty ourav eragedarknice
l
ookingman.Iwoul dn’
tsayhei smyt y
peornot
becauseIdon’thaveatype.

Him: “babypleasesaysomet hi
ng.Iam r
eall
yscar
ed
ofrejecti
on.”Ijustsmi
leandkisshim.Hisbody
tensesatf ir
stbecauseIcanseethathewasn’t
readyf orthat.Hefi
nal
lyrel
axesandrespondstomy
kiss.Ibreakitandlookathim.

Me:“
whataboutyourbabymama?Myl i
fei
svery
si
mpleandpeacef
ul.Idon’
twantanydr
ama.”
Hi
m:“
wear
enotev
eni
ncont
act
.Wheni
tinv
olv
es
mydaughter,shedr
opsherof fatmymom’ splace.
Sheusual
lycommuni cateswit
hmymom.Idi dn’
t
wanthergi
vingmepr oblemsandstori
eswheni t
comestomydaught er.Mymom i sano-nonsense
woman,sothat ’
swhyIletherhandl
ethebaby
mama.”

Me:
“Ili
keyou.I
fyouar
enotbri
ngi
nganydramaint
o
myl
ife,
thenmaybewecantr
y.”Hefacel
i
ghtsup.
Him:“real
l
ybaby ?”Inod.“
Thankyou,t
hankyou,
thankyou.”Hekissesmeal lov
erthef
aceandinmy
neck.Iam giggl
i
ngl i
kea5y earol
dkul
owomzuzu.

Iknowi fwewer etot

akeourrelationshi
ptothenext
l
ev el
,mypar ent
swouldapproveofhi m becauseof
hisgenerosit
yandgoodheart.It’
soneoft hethings
thatatt
ractsmet ohi
m.Ifhewasagangst er,I
wouldn’tevenhavegi
venhim asecondt oexplai
n
himself
.Ihav er
eadandseenl adiesdati
ngwi t
h
gangsters.
Itmaybegoodwi t
hallthemoneyandadr enal
i
nebut
Iwouldn’
tlastevenaweekbecauseIl ovefeel
i
ng
safeandbeingfree.Iwouldn’
tev
ensleepatnight
knowingthatmyl i
femightbeindangerortherear
e
somepeopl ewhowi ll
alwaysbeaft
ermebecauseI
am myboy fri
end’
sweakness.Yohanev a.
.
.
*
**LEE*
**
Iam wokenupbysomeonepl ant
ingki
ssesal
lov
er
myf ace.Igi
ggl
eandjustwi
shIcanpunchhim
becauseheisdist
urbi
ngmypeace.

Me:
“bent
engetof
f.Iwannasl
eep.
”
Sbo:“evenafterfucki
ngyout hatmuch,youstil
lhave
amout htocallmeabent en?”Iburstoutl
aughing.
Yenahedi dfuckmegood.Iam sat i
sfi
ed.Idoubted
himthough,butIshouldhav eknownt hatr
oyaldicks
havethateff
ect .Isi
tupandst ret
chmyar mswhi l
e
yawning.
Me:
“whatt
imei
sit
?”
Sbo:“
10:36.
”Ist
andupst
il
lbut
tnakedandhi
sey
es
tr
avelupanddownmybody.
Me:“takeapicture.Itlast
slonger.
”Hetakeshi
s
phoneandIqui cklytakeitawayfrom hi
m.“Iam
ki
dding.Idon’twantmyhotbodyt rendi
ngwhenyour
bi
tchesseemypi cturesanddecideonmakingit
tr
endonsoci almedi a.”

Sbo:“Ial
sowoul dn’tl
ikemenst ari
ngatit
.Iwi shI
canstareandwor shi
pitforaslongasIli
ve.”He
saysstandingupandcomi ngtowardsme.Ij ogto
thebathroom andhecat chesmebef oreIcanev en
gettothedoor .Heholdsmet ighti
nhisarmsand
mymi ndj ustt
ravelbacktothemor ni
ngwehad.

Me:
“foraski
nnydude,
yousur
ear
est
rongy
azi
.”
Sbo:“Iam goingtofucky ousohar
dbefor
ewel eave
thi
sroom.f i
rstroundisforcall
i
ngmeabentenand
thesecondroundi sforcall
ingmeaski
nnydude.”
Hebreathesdownmyneck.Fuckhi
sbr
eat
hisdoi
ng
t
hingstome.Itur
nandlookathim.

Me: “
Iam sorr
yf ordi
srespect
ingy
oumypr
ince.
”He
chucklesandpicksmeup.
Sbo: “
howaboutIfuckyoufi
rstandtheny ou
apologizel
ater
?”hedoesn’
tevenwai tf
ormet o
respond.Hejustputmeagainstt
hewal landsli
des
hisdickinmycookiewit
houtwarning.Iscream a
l
ittl
e.

Wel lIdon’tmi ndbeingpuni shedbyadi ck.I

t’
sbeen
awhi le.Agi rlneedssomeact ionev eryoncei na
while.Idon’ tself-
servi
cemy self,
li
kef ingeri
ng
my selfandshi tbutIdousesext oy s.Ihavetwo
drawer sathomef ul
loft hem andIam notashamed.
Iam agi r
l,Ineedpenet ration, andev eni fi
t’
snoti
n
hardf orceliket heoneIam r eceivingrightnow.
.
CHAPTER35

Iwakeupwi thathrobbingheadache.GoshIhat
e
hangoversbutIl
ovebooze.Isitupandst r
etchmy
arms.ThedooropensandIqui cklycovermyboobs.
Whot hefuckhasthegut stoj
ustenterinmyhotel
room wit
houtpermission?

Sandy: “calm downl ov e,i

t’
sonl yme. ”hesay s
enteri
ngt her oom wi that r
ayoff oodwhichhav ea
singl
er ose, br eakfastandwhatseemsl i
kea
handov ercur e.Hepl acest hetrayonmyl ap.
“Special breakf astforaspeci allady.”Ismil
e.Icoul
d
getusedt ot his.“Drinkthisfir
st.”Hesay shanding
met hecur e.Ij ustdowni tononegoandf r
own.He
giggl
es.“ Youl ooksocut erightnow. ”
Me:“thanks.CanIbr
ushmyt
eet
hfi
rstbef
ore
eat
ing?”
Sandy :“
okay.”Hetakesthetray,pl
acingi
tont he
bedsidetableandhandmemygown.Ist andupand
putitonandt henheadtot hebathroom.Ifi
rstpee
andt henbrushmyt eet
handwashmyf ace.Igo
backt obedandeatmybr eakfast.

Me:
“thi
sisni
ce.Wher
edi
dyouor
deri
t?”
Sandy:“Iwenttot
hemai nki
tchenandaskedt
ocook
i
t.Icookeditfr
om scr
atch.
”Ismileandl
ookathi
m.
Me:
“that
’ssoni
ceofy
ou.Hav
eyoueat
en?
”
Sandy
:“y
es.
”

Ifi
nisheatingandhetakesthetrayandputitbackin
thebedsidetable.Het
akesmyhandandwegot ake
ashower .Whenwegetbackt ot
her oom andfind
thebedal r
eadymade.Actuall
ytheroom isveryneat
andclean.Therearen’
tevenempt ycondomst hatwe
usedearli
eron.Wegetdr essedandweheaddown
t
othel
obbywher
etheot
her
sar
eat
.

Zah:
“sowhatar
ewedoi
ngt
oday
?”
Woman:“
gol
fi
ng.Ihavebookedt
heMont
aguGol
f
Cour
sef
oryourv
isi
t.
”
Li
ndsay
:“andwhomi
ghty
oube?
”
Woman:
“Namhl
anj
eMat
habel
a.Pr
inceKuhl
e’
sPA.
Zah:
“wel
lIam Zanel
e,QueenFut
hy’
sPA.
”theyal
l
l
aughandNamhlanjefr
owns.

Xol
i
:“andIam Nomxol
i
si,
QueenFut
hy’
ssecond
PA.
”
Zah:
“lev
els.
”Theybot
hhi
-5andwej
ustl
augh.
Lee:“okaytothegolf
ingcour
se.”Ihav
enev erpl
ayed
golfbeforebutIam l
ooki
ngforwardtothi
s
adventure.
.
.
Wear edonegol fi
ngandnowwear ehavi
ngapi cni
c
i
nt hegolfgrass,i
fthereissomethingli
kethat.
Sincethegolfcoursewascl oseddownf orus,we
areall
owedt odowhat ev
erwel i
ke.Wear ejust
chatt
ingandhav ingfunbutIcan’tmissthe
chemistryandv i
beIam gettingfr
om Xoliand
Phumudzo.Seemsl ikehereall
ydidgivehertheone
ni
ghtst and.

I
ffacteveryoneseemst obei nagoodmood.Leei s
bondingandbeingallloveydoveywithSbo.Zahi s
bl
ushingatMbuso’ sjokes.Nomaseemst obeina
bett
ermoodt hanthatofy est
erday.Sthabileand
Kuhleseem tobehappy ,eventhought hereisa
pi
nchofj eal
ousyjustbylookingatthem, Iam okay.
Thetwinsaremaki ngjokesandev ery
onei slaughi
ng.

Me:“Immastartwi
thXoliandPhumudzo.Whati s
happeni
ngbetweenthetwoofy ou?”Xol
ibl
ushes
andlooksdown.Thatj
ustconfir
msmysuspi ci
ons.I
j
usthopePhumudzowon’ tbreakherhear
tbecauseI
wi
l
lbr
eakhi
sbones.

Phumudzo:“well
Mi ssNomxol isigavemeachance
tolov
eher,sowear eof f
ici
all
yinar elat
ionshi
p.”We
all
cheer,
scream andt heguyswhi stl
e.Wehug
PhumudzoandXol i.Shedoesl ookshappy .Ir
eall
y
hopeitl
astsandIhopePhumudzot reatsherli
kea
queen.
Me:“wel
ltreathergood.Ifyoubr eakherhear
tIwi
ll
gotojai
lforshootingyourball
s.”Heswallowshar
d
andtheguysl aughathim.Itur
nt oMbusoandZah.
“Andyouguy s?”

Mbuso:“
youarelooki
ngatthefut
ureMrs.Thwala.
”
Hesaysproudl
yandweal l
cheeragai
n.Seemslike
t
hist
ripwasastartofnewrel
ati
onshi
ps.Iam happy
t
hatwecameher e.
Zah:“
don’tt
hreatenhim bossbecauseheknows
whatwil
lhappenofhebr eaksmyhear t
.”Shel
ooks
athi
m andhej ustbl
ushes.
Phi
wayi
nkosi
:“dudedidyoujustblush?
”theguys
l
ookatMbusoandl aughathim whil
etheladi
esgo
‘
ncooh’
.

Me:“Iam happythatthi
stri
phappened.NowIam
l
ooki
ngf orwardt
opl anni
ngtwoweddings.
”Zah
l
aughs.
Zah:“
wit
hatightschedul
eli
key
our
s.Idoubt
.”Ipout
andshecont
inueslaughi
ng.

Me: “it
’sthethoughtthatcounts.
”IlookatSbowho
i
sadmi ri
ngLee.Ipi t
yhim becauseeveni fheloves
Lee, hewillneverbeenoughf orher
,plushisf amily
willneveracceptanol derwomanf ortheiryoung
pri
nce.Sameappl iestoNoma.Whenwegetbackt o
Durban, Iwill
payKhany aav i
sit
.Idon’tl
ikethef act
thathemademygi r
lcry.

Zah:“
soguesswhat?Ther
eisthi
sbi
gbusi
nessgal
a
di
nneratt
hehotel
toni
ghtandImanagedt
ogetusa
tabl
einsi
de.Allweneedt
odoi
sdr
essel
egantand
bethereby6:30.
”
Lindsay:“
wedon’tev
enhavet
opnot
chclothest
o
wear .
”Xolit
apshert
abl
etf
orafewminut
esand
raisesherhead.

Xoli
:“MosselBaaiMal landLangeber
gMal laresti
l
l
open.Ifyouguysleavenow, youmightfi
ndy our
outf
it
sf ort
onight
.Bot hmal l
shaveFoschi
ni,Wooli
es,
TruworthsandMar kham. ”
Phi
lasande:
“wewil
lgotoseparatemall
sbecausei
f
wegowi thyoul
adi
es,
wewon’ tleav
ethemall.
”We
l
augh.
Noma:
“comeon,
wear
en’
tthatbad.
”
Kuhl
e:“
yout
hink?
”wej
ustl
augh.

Lee:“
fine,
wear egoi
ngtotheMosselBaaiMal
l
then.
”Weal lstandup,hopont
othegolfcar
tsand
dri
vebackt othehotel
.
Weheadt oourrooms,takeourpur sesanddr i
veto
themal l.Itel
lZahtobookoneoft hesalonsatthe
mal lforussot hatwecandoourhai r,
nailsand
make- upt her
e.Weal l
startatFoschini.Bytheway,
Lindsayi swiththeguys.I
t’sj
ustme, Lee,Noma, Zah,
Xoli,Sthabil
eandNamhl anje.Iknowf orsurethe
guy swi l
lcomebackcompl ai
ningabouthow
troublesomeLi ndsayi
s.

Me:“Xoli
andZahtakeanyt
hingyouli
ke,Iwi
ll
pay.”
Theyjumpupanddownandt henrunaroundl
ike
headl
esschi
ckens.Ij
ustl
aughatthem.

Igoar oundt heshopandcomeacr ossabeaut i

ful
SissyBoyDonat el
laMaxi Dress.Ijustfalli
nlove
withitinstantl
y.ItouchitandIl ovethewayi tsfabr
ic
feelsont hetipofmyf ingers.Iam ev enlovi
ngthe
sli
tont heleft.Iam defi
nit
elytakingt hi
s.Icheckfor
mysi ze,Inear l
yscream whenIf i
ndi t
.Igotothe
shoessect ionsandIt akeLuellaSt uddedAnkleTie
HighHeel s.
Iknowf orsuretheyar egoingtogowel lwiththis
dress.Igotothef itt
ingroom andtryonmydr ess
andheels.Ilookatmyr efl
ecti
onandwow.God
l
ov edthi
sear t
hsomucht hatHedecidedt oblessit
withagoddessl ikeme.Peopl eofearth,youar e
l
ucky .It
akeoutmyphoneandcal lLee.Itellherto
comewi thNomat othefit
ti
ngroom andwi thinafew
moment s,theyar ehere.Theyscream whent heysee
mei nmyl ovel
ydr ess.

Lee:“babesthi
sdresswasmadef oryou.I
tfi
tsl
ikea
glov
e.”Theyarebothcarr
yingdressesandshoes.
Weal waysdothiswhenwegoshoppi ng.Wegot o
thefi
tti
ngroom wit
hshoessot hatwecanseei four
outf
itsmatchwiththeshoes.
Noma:“Iam sojeal
ousri
ghtnow.Doy
ouhav
etobe
t
hisper
fect
?”Ijustl
augh.

Me:
“justgoaheadandf i
tyourdresses.
”Theycr
owd
meinthefi
tt
ingroom andIjustl
augh.Howcansuch
r
ichandi
ndependentwomenbechi
l
dishatt
imes?

Itakeoffmydr ess, shoesandwearwhatIwas

i
niti
all
ywearing.Theybot hgetf i
nisheddr essingup
andwow.Myf r
iendsar ebet t
erthany ourf r
iends’
shame.Theyar esl aying.Everhear dofaper son
sl
ay i
ngwhent heev entisnottheirs?Thisi swhati s
goingtohappent othegal atonight.Nomai s
wearingablackSi ssyBoyTakeMeTher eMaxi
DresswithMaddenGi rlAnimalPrintPlatf
or m Heels.
Whi l
eLeeiswear ingar edSissyBoyGi rlBoss
Assymet r
icMidi Dresswi thMaddenGi rl
Embel l
ished
Platf
orm Heels.

Me:“
whoareyouandwhathav
eyoudonet
omy
f
ri
ends?
”theyj
ustl
augh.
Noma:
“let
’squi
cklyundresssot
hatwecanpassby
t
hesal
on.”Theyundressandwegetoutoft
hefi
tt
ing
r
oom.
Wef i
ndZahandXol iwi
ththei
routfi
tsal
readyinthei
r
hands.BythewaySt habil
ewentt oWool
ieswith
Namhlanje,Iguesstheyarecl
ose.Zahrushes
somewher eandcomesbackt ohandmeagol d
clut
chandaneckl acewithearr
ingsandbracel
et.We
gotothet i
l
l andpayforourcl
othes.Whenwear e
doneweheadout ,f
indi
ngSthabil
eandNamhl anjeat
theentr
yway .

Weheadt othesalonandt heyat tendus

i
mmedi at
ely.Istar
twithdy i
ngmyhai r.Ihav ealways
want edtodyemyhai r.Idyei tel
ect ri
cbl ueandwhi l
e
Iam wai t
ingforthedyetosi nkin, Idomynai l
sandI
gof ornudealmondshor tnails.Idon’ treallyli
kelong
nail
sbecauseIam al way sdrawi ng.Iwashmyhai r
andwhenIam done, thest y
liststyleitandIf i
nish
doingmynai ls.Themake- upar t
istthendomymake
-up.WowIl ookbeautifuli
nmydi f
ferentl ook.

St
yli
st:
“yourhai
rissor
ichandbeaut
if
ul.
”Ismi
l
e.
Me:
“thanky
ou.
”
Make- uparti
st:
“youlooksobeauti
ful
babes.Your
baeisgoi ngtogocrazywhenheseesy ou.
”Ismil
e
again.Ifsheonlyknewthatmylookwill
dri
vetwo
grownmancr azy.

Wef i
nishev
ery
thi
ngatthesal
onandpay.Wehead
backtothehot
elandgetr
eadyfort
heev
ent.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER36

Wegett othegalar oundabout7:30pm andal lt

he
headsturntostareatus.SHOW STOPPI NG
MOMENT.Wear eescortedtoourt ableandwet ake
ourseats.Thiseventissoboring.IjusttakeXoli
’
s
tabl
etandstartdrawing.Kuhleisseatednexttome
andSandileisseatedont heotherside.Kuhle
chuckl
eswhenheseeswhatIam doi ng.

Kuhle:“
Iam al
sobor
edbuty
oudon’
tseemedoi
ng
work.”
Me:“nobodyi
sst oppi
ngy ou.
”TheMCannounces
t
heguestspeakeroft heeventandmyey
espopout
whenIseewhoi tis.
Noma:
“noFr
icki
nway
.”
Lee:
“di
dhehav
etobeher
ethough?
”

SabeloLindokuhleSi mel ane.Theext hatbrokemy

heart.Theext hatleftandnev erlookedback.Theex
thatgotmar r
iedf ewmont hsaf terthebr eakup.The
exthatmademet onev erwannacommi ttoa
rel
ati
onshipev eragai n.Hel ooksgoodt hough.He
l
ooksmat ur
e,hehasev engr ownabear d.

Noma: “hehasabi tofapotbell

ythough. ”Sheand
Leelaugh.Iam justshocked.Iam speechless.He
star
tsspeakingabouthisbusinessandIgetbor ed
more.Hest i
llhasthatsl
owbar it
onev oiceofhisthat
mademypant iessoakwithmywet ness.

Kuhl
e:“
y ouknowhim?
”heasksl
ookingatme.Isav
e
mysketchandgiv
ebackt
hetabl
ettoXoli
.
Me:
“hei
stheeex.
”
Kuhl
e:“
theonewhochosei
nher
it
anceov
ery
ou?
”
Me:
“yep.
”Hef
ini
sheshi
sspeechandt
heMCt
akes
t
hest
ageagai
n.

MC: “t
onightwear ehonor edbythepresenceoft he
bignamesl ikeMbusoThwal a,
IsaacInguana,
Ntombi f
uthiCeleandPhumudzoModi sane.Fewof
themostsuccessf ulbusinesspeopleinMzansi .You
don’thavetocomeupf r
ontbutjuststandand
wave.”Wej ustlaughanddoashesay s.Wet hensit
.
“Yourwor kisrecognizedandyouar erolemodel sto
alotofy oungandol dpeopleoutthere.Anyway s…”
hecont i
nueswi ththeprogram.

Li
ndsay
:“whydi
dn’
tIgetr
ecognit
ionforkeepi
ng
DCCupandrunni
ng?”wejustl
augh.
Xoli:“
youguysdidn’
tevenannounceyourpresence.
Itwasjustf
elt.Thi
sissocool.If
eelsospecialf
or
knowingyou.”Phumudzokisseshercheekandshe
blushes.
Me:
“whenar
eweeat
ing?Iam st
arv
ing.
”
Sbo:“
youandmebothsi
ster
.”welaugh.Thewai
ter
s
bri
ngserv
ingdi
shest
oeachtabl
e.Iguesspeopl
e
ser
vethemsel
ves.
Sandi
l
e:“pl
easedi
shforme.
”hesay
swi
thasmi
l
e
andIj
ustrol
lmyeyes.
Me:“Idr
ama.
”Helaughs.Ist
andupanddishf
orthe
bot
hofus,t
heot
hersalsodishupf
orthemsel
ves.

Lee:
“nowwear
efor
cedt
odr
inkwi
ne?
”Il
augh.
Me:“wecanjustaskforcocktails.
”Shesignalsthe
wait
ressandsheordersdrinksforevery
onei nthe
tabl
e.Namhlanj
eislooki
ngal lcozywit
hPhi l
asande.
Somethingt
ell
smet hatthereissomething
happeni
ngbetweenthesetwo.

Thedrinkscomeandwebegineating.Whenweare
done,wedownourdrinksandthenweheadt ot
he
dancefloor
.Wedoballr
oom danceandSandyhas
mesocl osetohi
m,Icanfeelhi
serecti
on.Ij
ust
l
aughandbur ymyfaceonhischest.
Me: “
aner ect
ioni
nthedancef
loor
?Real
l
y?”he
chuckles.
Sandy:“
youlooklikeagoddesstonightsodon’
tbe
amazedbymyer ecti
on.
”Webot hlaughand
conti
nuedancing.Someoneclearsthei
rthr
oatandI
tur
ntofindSabelolooki
ngatme.Hehashi shands
onhispockets.

Sabel
o:“
MaCel
e.”
Me:
“Li
ndo.
”Hechuckl
es.
Sabel
o:“canIhavethisdance?”Il
ookatSandyand
henods.Het henlet
’sgoofmeandSabel otakesme
i
ntohisarms.West artmovingtothebeatoft
he
musicpl
ay i
ng.“Youlookbeauti
ful
.”

Me: “
tellmesomet
hingIdon’
tal
readyknow.
”He
chuckles.
Sabelo:
“youstil
lhav
ethatconf
idencey
ouhad?”I
rol
lmyey es.“
It
’sgoodtoseeyouglowi
ngand
mov i
ngon.Ihaveseenhowhardy ouworkandhow
yourcompanyhasgr
own.Iam i
mpressed.Youar
e
sti
ll
thatambi
ti
ousandgoaldr
ivenwomanIknew.”

Me:“br
eaki
ngupwithyoudi
dn’
tchangeme,
instead
i
tmademest r
ongerandmademesetmypriori
ties
st
rai
ght.
”
Sabelo:“Iam proudofy ouandIam real
lyproudto
cal
lyoumyex. ”Ilaughandheal sol
aughs.“Iam
seri
ous.WhenIsi taroundat ablewit
hbusiness
associat
es,wheny ounamecomesupIboastand
beli
ke: ‘
that
’smyexr ightthere’
.
”Iconti
nuelaughi
ng.
Iseehiswi f
eatt hecor nerofmyey escomingour
way.

Me:“t
hankyouf
ort
hedanceLi
ndo.I
twasni
ce
seei
ngyou.
”
Il
etgoofhi m andgobacktot hetable.Ifindi
t
empty,Il
ookar oundandseethecr ewatt hebar.I
am notamazed.Iheadthere.Iam gladt heysaved
measeat .Isi
tdownandt hebar manqui cklyhands
memydr ink.Ithankhi
m andst ar
tdrinking.
Me:“t
hisisourl
astni
ghther
e.Let
’smakei
twor
th
ourwhil
e.”
Li
ndsay:“
yesboss.Iseeal
otofpot
ent
ial
sher
e.”he
say
slicki
nghi
slipsandIj
ustl
augh.
Wecont i
nuedr i
nkingandIgotot hel
ootopee.I
rel
ievemyselfandt henwashmyhands.AsIam
fi
xi
ngmydr ess,someoneentersther
estr
oom.They
comet owher eIam.IcatchaglimpseofMathapel
o
i
nt hemirr
orandIj ustdon’
tmindher.

Mathapelo:“
whodoy out hi
nky ouare?
”Ifrown.
Maybeshei snottal
ki
ngt ome.Asi fshereadsmy
mind,sheconti
nues.“Iam tal
ki
ngt oyou.Whatwere
youdoinginthedancef l
oorthr
owingy our
selfatmy
husband?”Itur
nandlookather .
Me: “
areyousureyouhavether
ightwoman?”her
facechangesandsheslapsmehard.Myeyespop
out.WhathaveIdone?
Mat hapelo:“Ihav eheardofy ou.Youar enot hingbut
af atloosewomanwhowi l
ldiesingle.Thislittle
successofy ourswon’ tl
ast .I
fyout hinkingof
war mi ngyourselfint
omyhusband’ sarms, t
hent hi
nk
agai n.Nowt akey oufatoi l
yselfandgobackt o
whi cheverholey oucamef rom.”Iam notan
emot i
onalpersonbutt hiswoman’ swor dsbr ing
tearst omyey es.Whatdi dIdo?Ij ustturnandwal k
tot hedoor.Shest ar
tstalki
ngagai n.“Youwi l
l always
besecondt oot hermen, noonewi llseey ouwor thy
asnumberone, justli
kemyhusbandwant edtot ake
youashi ssecondbest .”

Thosewordshi
thomeandIt hi
nkaboutt hefactthat
Kuhlewantmetobehissecondbest .Ij
ustr
unout
andruntomyroom cry
ing.Idon’tevenknowt his
womanonaper sonal
levelbutalreadyshebrings
tear
stomyeyes.
.
.
*
**LEE*
**
BothNomaandIt urntolookatt herestroom door
becauseweknowt hatwhenshegoest here, she
doesn’tstaylong.Wear eshockedt oseehercomi ng
outandr unningtowardstheel evator.Wesee
Sabelo’swifecomi ngoutsmi l
ingandwej ustknow
thatshesai dsomet hi
ngbadt oFut hy.Nomadoesn’ t
askany thi
ng,shejustwalksst rai
ghtt oMat hapelo
andthrowsameanpuncht hatsendsherst raightt
o
thefl
oor ,l
andingonherbut t.Everyonegaspsand
turntotheirdir
ecti
on.Event hemusi cstops.Igot o
wheret heyarefoll
owedbyev eryone.

Noma: “
NEVER,NEVERANDEVERAGAI NBRI NG
HARM TOFUTHY.NEXTTI MEIWI LLENDYOUR
PATHETICLI
FE.”Shepunchesheragai
njustfor
contr
olandr
ushestotheelev
ator
.Iqui
cklyfol
low
her.
WegettoFuthy’
sroom andeventhedoori
snotshut
.
Wef i
ndheri
ntheflooront
heothersi
deofthebed
sobbi
ng.Wequickl
yrushtoherandhugher.
Noma:“Iam sor
ryforwhat
evershesaidtoy
oubut
don’
tworryIsor
tedherout
.”shechuckl
esandsni
ff
s.
Me:
“whatdi
dshesay
?”
Futhy:
“bullshi
t,ut
terbullshi
t.Butithur
tcomingfrom
her.Ont opofthatshesl appedme, sayi
ngIwas
thr
owingmy sel
finherhusband.Li kebit
chhav ey
ou
seenme?Iam goal s.”Shecont i
nuessnif
fi
ng.Yazi
wheny out hi
nkshehasaccept edhersel
fforwho
sheis,thenpeoplelikeMat hapelocomeandt ake
herbackt osquareone.

Me: “Nomacanyougiv
eusaf ewminut
es?”she
gi
v esmeadeathstar
e.“Justgodownstai
rsand
orderusdri
nks.
”Shegruntsandst
andsup.She
headsout.
Fut
hy:
“Idon’
twannat
alk.Ij
ustwannasl
eep.
”
Me:
“Tase…”
Fut
hy:
“pl
ease.
”Isi
gh.

Me:
“okay
.Justst
andupandgetoutoft
hatdr
ess.
”
Shestandsupandchangesint
oagown,shet
hen
goestothebathr
oom andcomesbackwit
hherf
ace
cl
earofmake-up.“Tomor
row.”
Futhy
: “t
omorrow.”Shehugsmeandt henIheadout
.
Ifi
ndNomaatt hedoorwi t
htheothersandItel
l
them thatFut
hywi shesnottobedist
urbed.They
understandandthenweheadbackt othebar.
.
.
*
**FUTHY*
**
Aftertwohoursoftossingandt ur
ningIwakeupand
godr i
nkwater.Iam distur
bedbyaknockand
i
nitial
l
yfi
gureoutthati t
’sSandy.May beheforgot
hiskeycard.IopenthedoorandIam sur pri
sedto
seeKuhlestandingont heothersi
deoft hedoor.I
si
ghandwal kbackinsidetheroom, hefoll
owsme
andshutsthedoorbehi ndhim.

Me:
“whatdoy
ouwant
?”
Kuhl
e:“
you.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“wher
ear
etheot
her
s?”
Kuhle:“t
heyareinLee’sr
oom includingSandil
e.”I
standupandheadt ot
heclosettochangei ntomy
ni
ghtieandheadbackt othebedroom.Hest andsup
andmeet smehal fwayandjustattacksmewi tha
ki
ss.Ikisshim backandwhenr ealit
ykicksin,I
breakthekiss.

Me:
“Kuhl
eno.
”
Kuhl
e:“
please.
”

Hedoesn’ tevenwaitforananswer .Hej ustpicks

meupandl eadsmet othebed.Her emov esmy
nightie,
leansdownandki ssesmyneck.Gent l
e
kisses,li
ttl
ebitoftongue, butsov erynice.Ifeela
l
ittlewetdownt her
e.Thenhi shandslightlyruball
ov ermypussyl ips.Hepr esseseachl eg, f
orcingme
toopent hem wide.Helower shi
sheadt omyr i
ght
nipple.“Holyfuck,yournipplesaresof ucking
awesome. ”Hee!IsthisKuhl e?Sincewhendoeshe
swearl i
ket hi
s?Ijustgiggle.
Heengul fsmyni ppl
ewi t
hhi swetmout h,
whilealso
sl
idingaf i
ngerbetweenmyl ips.OhGod, fi
nall
y!He
pressesfurther
,sli
ppinghisfingerupandi nsidemy
pussynow.Idon’ tknowi tismeort hewet ness,but
everythi
ngissosl i
ck.Hesl i
desanot herfi
ngerinside
me.“ FuckKuhle.
”Icryouti nawhi sper.Hecur l
shis
fi
nger supwardsabi t
,hit
tingmyG- spot.

“OwwYes! ”Icr
yout .Hequi ckl
ystr
okehi shandin
andout,beingsuretot i
cklemyspoteacht i
me.
WhatthefuckisKuhl edoingt ome?If eelawave
coming,i
t’
sappr oaching.Hest r
okemycooki eand
workovermyni pplewi t
hhismout h.Ipantandgri
p
thebedsheets,asmyhi psbuckoftheirownaccord.

Kuhlereleasesmyni ppleandcomesupt okissme.

Iti
ssounexpect ed,
andsowel come, ourtongues
connectandt hewav ecrushes.Iclampmyl egs
toget
heronKuhl e’
sfist
,fur
therpressuri
ngmy
cookie.Elect
ri
cshocksemanat efrom mycookie
andspasm t hroughoutmywhol ebody .Thewav e
keepscrushi
ng.Kuhlesti
l
l j
erkshi
shandbackand
for
th,onl
ysli
ghtlyasmylegst r
aphishands.Buti
t’
s
enough.Iscr
eam andmoanandt hr
owmany‘ oh-my-
gods’asmyor gasm cont
inuestowreckmybody .

Kuhle’
sot herhandmol est
smyt it
ssincehecan’t
ki
ssmeany more.Howcany oukissaper sonwhois
experi
encingami nd-blowi
ngorgasm?Thewav es
fi
nall
ycomet oanend, andIl
andbackonear t
h.I
openmyey estoseeKuhl esmil
ingandchucklinga
l
itt
lebit.Iasktopleasurehi
m andhehel psmeup,
butit’
sahar dtasksincemylegsar ewobbly.

Her emov eshisclot

hes,thenlaysdownont hebed,
faceupwi t
hhisbigblackcockpoi ntingupt ome.I
cli
mbont hebedandgethol dofhiscock.Icar essi
t
slowlyandal sosqueezehisbal l
sal i
ttl
e.Wi thboth
hands, Icaresshi
m allover,
ev enreachingdownand
touchinghisbutt.Heseemst oli
kethat .Ihover
abov ehim anddanglemyboobsacr osshi sface.He
tri
est ocatchanippleinhismout h,Ithent easehim
bypul
l
ingawayatt
hel
astmoment
.

Hepul lsmedownont opofhi m,andweki ssdeeply

asmyboobssmashi ntohischest.WhenIam
satisfi
edwi
ththekissing,Ipropmy selfup, gr
abhis
dickandguideitsl
owl yinsi
demycooki e…f uck.
Afterwearedonewi thoursecondr ound, ofhim
fuckingme,fucki
ngmehar d,fucki
ngmedeep,
fuckingmefast,l
eavingmef eelingcompl ete,he
l
eav esmepant i
ngint hebed.Butf i
rst
lyhedi scar
ds
ofthecondomsweused.

Ij
ustt akeashoweraf terheleavesandchanget he
sheetssot hatSandywon’ tnoti
ceanythi
ng.That
wast hebestsexIhav eev erhad.Ij
ustdozeoffthe
mi nut
emyheadhi t
st hepill
ow.Seemsl i
keKuhle’s
dickwast heonlysleepingmedicati
onIneeded.

#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER37

Thefoll
owingmor ni
ngIwakeupt oSandy’shands
wrappedar oundmybody .ThewayKuhl esexedme
l
astnight,
Idi dn’
tevenhearSandi l
egetti
ngintobed.
Anyways,Isitupst r
aightandthenclimboffthebed.
Iwearmygownandheadt othebathroom.Iwash,
brushmyt eethandt hendrymy sel
f.Iheadtothe
cl
osetandl otionmybody .

Iwearabl ackdenim miniski

rt
,pul
lingitjustabove
mybel lybutt
on,thenablackcroptop,BlackJour ney
Editi
onSuedeBat huSneakersandbl ackdenimj ean.
Itakeaf ewmi r
rorsnaps.WhenIam done, Ipackall
mycl othesanddoublecheckthatIdidn’tleave
anything.It
henheadoutwi thmyphoneonmyhand.
Iheadoutt hehot el
andj usttakeawal kar
oundthe
hotel
,enjoyingthemor ningbr eeze.Ial waysdothi
s
whenIv isi
thotelsorlodges.Thi sistheonlyti
meI
gettobeonewi thmyi nnersel fandhav ea
conversati
onwi thmyi nt
ellectual sel
f.Thereisalot
goingoni nmyl i
fe.Thereisal otIhav eachiev
ed.
Thereisal otIam yettoachi ev e.Toy oungpeople
outthere,skyisnotthelimi tbutonl ythestart
.

Workhar dunt i
lyoudon’thavetoint
roducey our
self
wheny ouent eraplace.Letyourworkandr eput
ati
on
speakf orit
self
.Uset heskil
lsyouhavetoacquire
whaty ouwantandneed.Thi sthi
ngofsitt
ingaround
wait
ingf orjobopportuni
tiesmuststop.I
fy ouhavea
passioninacer tai
nskill
,gotoschooltoenhance
yourskillsothatyoucanbecomef i
nanci
ally
i
ndependentandsuccessf ul.

Il
ookaroundandseepeoplej
oggi
ng.It
hinkIam
goi
ngtoturnoneoftheroomsinmyhousetoani n-
housegym.NotbecauseIwannal
oseweight.Ij
ust
wantt obefitandavoi
ddi abet
esandhighblood
pressure.Iwil
lbuyal
ltheequipmentformy
housemat esbutIwil
lonlyusethetr
eadmil
l.Itwi
ll
poseasj ogging.

Aft
eranhourorsoIheadbacki nsi
deandfindmost
ofthecrewinthel
obby.Theyarepaci
ngupside
downliketheyl
ostsomethi
ng.Theyseem str
essed.

Me:“
what’sup?”t
heyal
ltur
ntol
ookatmeandmy
f
ri
endsrushtohugme.“Youguy
sarewor
ryi
ngme.
What’
sgoingon?”
Lee:
“wet
houghtsomethi
nghappenedt
oyou.
”I
fr
ownandl
ookather.
Noma:
“yeah,
yeah.Weknowy ourt
radi
ti
onbutwe
wer
eworri
edaft
erwhathappenedl
astnight
.”
Me:“r
elaxguys.Iam f
ine.Whatar
ewehav
ingf
or
br
eakfast
?”theychuckle.

Zah:
“let
’sheadt
othedi
ninghal
lsot
hatwecansee
whattheyhaveforus.”theyal
l headthereandjust
asIam abouttofoll
owt hem,Kuhl egrabsmyhand.
Nobodynoticest
his,theyareallnowheadedt othe
hall
makingsomuchnoi se.Il
ookathi shandand
star
eathim.Hequi cklyremoveshi shand.
Kuhl
e:“
aboutl
astni
ght
…”
Me:
“wefuckedandi
tendedt
her
e.Don’
tcat
ch
f
eel
i
ngs.
”

Kuhl
e:“howcanInotwheni
alr
eadyl
oveyou?
”he
hal
fshoutsandIpl
acemyhandinhi
smouth.
Me: “notsoloud.Youwannamaket hefrontpages?
”
Igi
v ehim anintensel
ookthenIremovemyhand
fr
om hi smouth.“Whathappenedlastni
ghtmeant
nothing.”

Kuhle:“i
tmeansanditchangesev eryt
hing.Fuck
yourfearofbeingi
narelat
ionship.Justsoy ouknow,
Iam nevergivi
ngupony ouandIam nev ergoi
ngto
restunti
lyourl
astnameisZulu.”Het ur
nsandgoes
tot
hedirect
ionwher
eev er
yonewent.Fuckthatwas
sohotandIcanfeel
thatmypantyissoakingwet.I
j
ustl
ickmylipsandfol
l
owhi m.
.
.
Wel andatKingShakaai rpor
tlaterthatdayandj ust
asweappr oacht heentr
y way,wefindt heotherNtuli
brother
swi t
hLeleandYandi sa’swife.IfrownwhenI
seeLele’
sluggage.Sohewasl eav i
ngwi thouttel
li
ng
me?Somuchf orbei
ngf amil
yneh.Iheadt owher e
theyarestandingandjuststandinf rontofhim.He
dodgesmyey esunti
lIsteponhi sleftfoot.

Lel
e:“
ouch!
”hecr
iesj
umpi
ngup.
Me:“soyouwer
ejustgoi
ngt
oleav
ewi
thoutsay
ing
goodbye?
”
Lel
e:“
Iam sorr
ysisi
.Iwant
edtot
ell
youonFr
iday
bef
oreyoulef
tbutitj
ustsl
i
ppedmymind.
”
Me:
“mmm.
”
Lele:
“canIpl
easemakeituptoyou?”Ij
ustst
areat
him.“I
tisgoi
ngtobeasurpr
ise.Ipr
omiseiti
sgoi
ng
tobeepicandyouwil
ll
oveit
.”
Me:
“what
ever
.”Ihughi
m.“
Saf
etr
avel
s.”
Lel
e:“
thanky
ou.
”

Iseemyguardscomi ngtooursideandIsmi l
e.Iam
sousedtohav i
ngthem around.Iact
uall
ymissed
them.Theygreetusandt akemyluggage.Sandi
lei
s
alsol
eavi
ngwi t
hhisbrothers,
sowesayour
goodbyesandthenweal lgoourseparat
eway s.
.
.
Thedaybef oreyesterdayIwenttoJo’burgto
fi
nali
zet hepaperworkofthebuildi
ngIboughtther
e.
YesterdayIfi
nali
zedev ery
thi
ngint heCapeTown
buil
ding.TodayisWednesdayandIhav ean
i
nterviewwithPrejudi
ceMagazi ne.Theypubli
sh
art
iclesaboutbusinessowner sandentrepr
eneur
s.I
don’tknowwhot oldpeopl eaboutmyAAA
nomi
nat
ion,
butt
hisi
nter
viewi
sbecauseoft
hat
.

Leeistheonewhochosemyout fi
ttoday,whichisa
mustardpantsuitwithbl
ackbody suitandblack
ankl
est r
aphi ghheel
s.Sheal
sost yledmyhai rand
fi
xedmymake- up.You’
dswearshewasn’ tgoingto
worktoday,thewayshewasr elaxed.Theedi t
orand
hert
eam ar ecomingtomyof f
ice.Theywantt odoa
photoshootinmyof fi
cewhenwear edonewiththe
i
nter
v i
ew.ZahandLi ndsayal
sof i
xedr efr
eshments
fort
hem.t heyaredramati
cthoset wo.

ThecrewcomesandZahaccompani esthem tomy

offi
ce.Theyenterandweexchangegr eeti
ngs.They
thensett
ledownandsetupev ery
thing.Theeditor
i
ntroduceshersel
fasOvayoZuma.Shel ooks
fri
endl
y,ormay beiti
spar
tofherjob, don’
tknow.

Ovayo:“
befor
ewest art
,Khul
isananial
soaskedfora
TVinter
viewwit
hyou.Theproducerisaclosefri
end
ofmine,soheaskedifyoucanmay becomef oran
i
nter
v i
ewtomorroweveningatthei
rst
udios.
”
Khul
isananii
saTVshowwhi chbasi
cal
lyisabout
they
out hdevel
opment.Iam honor
edbythisinv
ite.
Me: “
Ihavenoproblem doi
ngthat
.Pl
easet
ell
the
producertof
orwardall
theinf
ormati
ontomyPA.”
shesmi l
es.

Ovayo:“gr
eatthen.Thecameracrewwon’ thav
ea
separat
etimeforthephotoshoot
, buti
nsteadthey
wil
ltakephotoswhilet
heint
ervi
ewi ssti
l
lgoingon.”
Me: “
finebyme. ”shetakesouthernotebookand
penandst artscri
bbl
ingsomething.Shetakesouta
taperecorderandplacesiti
nthetable.

Ovayo:
“sotel
lus,thi
spassi
onf
ordr
awi
ng,
wher
e
di
dital
lstar
t?”Ismil
e.
Me:“eversi
nceIwasy oung,Iusedtodrawhouses,
br
idgesandotherbui
ldings.ButIhadnoexperi
ence,
soIdrewwithoutusi
ngar ulerandsometi
mesusing
apen.Idrewonmyschool booksanditusual
l
ygot
mei ntr
oublewithmyt eachers.Myparent
ssawt hi
s
andmymot herboughtanot ebookforme.Since
thenIstar
tedtaki
ngmydr awingsseri
ousl
y.Ieven
studi
edEGDi nschool.
”shenods.

Ovay
o:“di
dyouhaveavi
sionofstar
ti
ngy
ourown
companywhenyouwer
eat eenager
?”
Me:“nope.Ij
ustwantedtobeanarchit
ect
,butwhen
Igottovarsi
tyIwant
edmor e.That
’swhenIwent
backtomyv isi
onboardandaddedDubandlel
a
Constr
ucti
onCompanyonmymap. ”

Ov ayo:“howdidyouprevi
ousemploy
erf
eelwhenhe
heardt hatyouwantedtol
eavehi
scompanyand
startyourown?”Ichuckl
e.
Me: “BabuHl
ongwaismor ethanjustmyprevi
ous
empl oyer
.Hewasmyl ect
urerandmysecondf at
her.
Het ookmeunderhiswingandment oredme.He
taughtmemostofthet hi
ngsIknow.Itoldhi
m
aboutDCCwhenIal r
eadyhadt hecapi
tal,
alr
eady
boughtabuildi
ngt
hatIwouldst ar
tmycompanyat .
I
nfactIknewifIwenttohi
m wi
thanincomplet
e
pl
an,hewouldshutmedown.Hewor kswit
h
per
fect
ion,soIwentt
ohim wi
thper
fecti
on.
”

“Heshedaf ewtearsbuthewashappyforme.He
wasproudofme.Ev ennowhest i
l
lboastsaboutme
tohispeers.Hedoesn’
tcal
lmehisstudentor
prev
iousempl oy
eebutherefer
stomeashi s
daughter
.”
Ov
ayo:
“soundsl
i
keanobl
eman.
”
Me:
“thathei
s.”

Ovay
o:“soyouwerenominat
edforAf
ri
can
Ar
chit
ectur
eAwards,t
ell
us,howdoesthatf
eel
?”
Me: “i
t’
slikeadream comet r
ue.TheAf r
ican
Archit
ectureAwar dsarenotonl yabouttheawards,
buttheymeanr ecognition.Theymeany ouar e
recognizedforyourhardwor k.Theyopendoor sfor
you.Becauseoft hisnomi nat
ion,Igotaninvi
teto
oneoft hebiggestbusinessconf er
encesinthe
worl
d.Iam v
eryhonor
edbyt
hisnomi
nat
ionandI
am v
eryhappyabouti
t.
”

Ov
ayo:
“howdoesy
ourf
ami
l
yfeel
abouti
t?”Ismi
l
e.
Me: “
Ihav ethestrongestsuppor tsyst
em ev er.My
famil
yar emybi ggestcheers.Theywer eov ert he
moonwhenIt oldt hem aboutthis.Havi
ngaf ami l
y
thatcheersony ouwheny ouaredoi nggreatt hings
andcrywi thyouwheny ouaref acinghar
dt i
mes, is
oneoft hegreatestfeel
ingsever .
”

Ovayo:
“andy
ourf
ri
ends?Howdi
dtheyf
eel
about
i
t?”
Me:“Ihavetwobestf r
iends,Nomalangaand
Li
ndelwa,whom Iconsiderasmyf amily.Theywer
e
sohappyaboutthis.Iam prett
ysuretheyare
comingtoLiby
awi thme. ”

Ovayo:
“Iknowthisi
snotworkr
elat
ed,
butcanIask
aquesti
onthathasbeenbot
her
ingmostpeopl
e?”I
l
aughbecauseIal
readyknowthatshei
sgoi
ngt
o
askaboutmyrel
ati
onshi
pstat
us.
Me:
“fi
reaway
.”Shechuckl
es.

Ovayo:“
lastmonth,youwer eseenmi ngli
ngwi
th
Shamase,thesoccerplayer.Heevenwentasfaras
decl
ari
ngy ourl
oveonsoci almedia.Fir
stl
ywhat
’s
yourcommentont hat?”
Me: “
Ineverdatedhim orhadtheint
enti
onofdating
hi
m.Wej ustwentoutonadat e,whi
chIwouldn’
tsay
wasadat epersaybecausewej ustfoundeach
otheronthatlocat
ion.Wedon’thaveanythi
ngin
common.That ’
swhyInev erwi
ll
datehim.”she
chuckles.

Ov ayo:
“neversaynever.”Ilaughandt hecamer a
crewalsolaugh.“Soaboutt heNt ul
ibrother,
Sandil
e,
therehasbeenpicturescirculat
ingonsoci almedia
ofy ouguyslooki
ngrathercozyandhav ingwhatI
thi
nkar edatesonrestaurants.What’syour
commentont hat
?”Ichuckl e.
Me:
“nocomment
.”Shel
aughs.

Ov
ay o:“
busi
nessi
cal
l
y,wher
edoy
ouseey
our
sel
fin
5years?
”
Me: “goinggl obal.Iwanttoexpandandhav e
branchesi natl east5otherAf ri
cancount ri
esand
may be4count ri
esfrom othercontinents.Iwantthe
Celenamet obeknownwor l
dwi de.AlsoIam proud
toannouncet hatDubandlelaConst ruct
ionCompany
i
sgi vingout10bur sari
esf orthenextacademi cyear
toqual i
fyingst udent
swhowi llbestudying
architectureandengi neeri
ng.”

Ovayo:“wowt
hat
’sawesome.Thankyouf
ort
aki
ng
yourti
meandhavi
ngusinyouroff
ice.
”
Me:
any
time.
”
Ovayo:
“that
’sawr
apev
ery
one.Youcant
aket
he
phot
osnow.”
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER38

Iam nervousandexcitedabouttoni
ght
.Ihavenev er
beenaguestspeakert osuchahugeev ent.I
t’
sa
galadinnerf
orthestudentsbuttheyar
ealso
honoringme.Talkabouthitt
ingtwobir
dswi t
hone
stone.Myguardsareaccompany ingme,together
withZah.Xoliwassupposedt ocomebutPhumudzo
seupameet i
ngforhertomeethi spar
ents.

Theirrelati
onshipisseri
ous.Theyhav eev entrended
onsoci almedia.That’swher eherparent ssawt he
news.Theydemandedameet ingwithPhumudzo
nextweek.Phumudzot oldmet hat
,ont hatday,he
willbebr i
nginghisfamilyrepresentat
iveswi t
hso
thathecanpayl obolaforXoli.Yeahthat ’
show
seri
oust her el
ati
onshipis.Theywannasur pr
ise
Xoli
’
sfather.SoIwasgiv
enthetasktot
alkt
oXol
i
’s
mothersothatshecangatherf
amily
repr
esentat
ivesonhersi
de.

Iwentt oNol uh’sboutiqueagai n.Thist i

mear ound
sheadv isedmeonar edobl iquecollarsequinfloor-
l
engt hsexymer mai ddresswi thgoldheel sandgol d
purse.Weal lf
inishgetti
ngr eadyandt hendriveto
Wi t
s.Wegett hereandanusherl eadsust oapr iv
ate
dini
nghal l.ThereIam metbysomel ect
urersand
theev entorganizer.Hei nt
roduceshi mselfas
Mal i
bongweMbeki .Weexchangegr eeti
ngs.

Mal
i:“whatanhonort
obei
nyourpr
esenceMi
ss
Cel
e.”Ismil
e.
Me: “pl
easecallmeFuthyorNt ombi.MissCeleis
mydr unkardaunt.
”Theyall
laugh.Whilewear esti
ll
tal
king,someonesneaksbehindmeandcov ermy
eyes.Theirhandsfeel
roughandedgy .Ijustsmil
e.
“Daddynumber2. ”Hechuckles.It
urntol ookathi
m
andhughi m.
Hl
ongwa:
“howar
eyoumyangel
?”
Me:“
Iam f
inedaddy.
”Ial
sohughi
swi
fewhoi
s
l
ooki
nggorgeousi
nasilv
ergown.
Mal
i:“
okay
, t
heeventi
saboutt
ost
art
,sopl
ease
f
oll
owmet hi
sside.
”

Hel eadsustothehal lwheretheev enti

sbeingheld.
Heshowsusourt ableandweset t
ledown.The
studentsaredressedl i
ketheyar eatt
endi
ngt heMet
GalaortheOscar s.Theprogrammest art
s.Thereare
evenent er
tai
nmenti tems.TheMCi ntr
oduces
someonewhoi sgoi ngtointr
oducemeast heguest
speaker.Thegirlgoest ot
hef rontandstart
st al
ki
ng.

Tlago:“thenextspeaker ,whi
chi sourmai nspeaker,
wasbor nandr aisedinMorningside,Durban,in
KwaZul u-Natal.Sheisthesecondchi ldofSi j
abul
i
le
andSiyabul elaCele.Shehasf oursibl
ings.Shedid
herprimar yeducat i
oninDurban.Shet henf urt
her
ed
herstudiesi ntheUni v
ersi
tyofWi tswhereshedi d
herdegr eeinAr chit
ectur
e.Sheal sodidan
Engineeri
ngdi ploma.Shet henf urt
her edherst udi
es
againbydoi ngherhonor sdegr ee.Shegr aduatedfor
herMast er’
sdegr eethisy earint hi
ssamei nsti
tut
ion
andshei scur r
ent lyinthej ourneyofdoi ngherPhD
here.Ladiesandgent lemenpl easest andupand
helpmewel comeourguestspeakerf ortonight,
MissNt ombi f
uthi Lwandl elethuCel e.”Ev er
y one
standsupandst artclapping.Ial sostandupand
makemywayt ot hefront.Shehugsmef ir
stand
thenshehandsmet hemi csqueal ing.

Me: “eveningev ery

one.Mynamei s…”Ichuckl ewhen
Iremembert hatIhav eal r
eadybeeni nt
r oducedand
theyalllaugh.“ Ol
dhabi t
s.Iam v eryhonor edtobe
here.Iwi l
lfir
ststartbysay ingt haty oual larevery
l
uckyt obeher einthisinstitut
ion,thoughy oudidn’
t
havet hepleasur eofbeingt aughtbyDr .Hlongwa, ”
theychuckl e.“Justkidding.Allthel ectur er
sare
awesome.I ftheywer en’tthenIwoul dn’tbewher eI
am today .
”
“
Mypassi
onfordr
awingstart
edinpr
imaryschool
.
Whenmypar
entssawthatinst
eadofpl
ayingwit
h
doll
s,Iprefer
reddrawingbui l
dings,t
heyst art
ed
buyingdrawingmat er
ialsforme.Wheny ouhave
parentsl
ikemi ne,whocheerony oufrom anear l
y
age,consideryoursel
flucky.Ihaveabr otherwhoi s
amusi ci
an.Whenhet oldmypar entsthathewant s
tostudymusi c,t
heywer eahundr edper centbehi
nd
him andhewassohappyaboutt hat
.”

Studentfr
om thecr
owd:“what
’sy
ourbr
other
’s
name? ”Il
aughandtheyal
ll
augh.
Me: “Googlemeandy ouwi llseehi sname. ”theyall
cheeronme.“ Anywaysst udy ingf orsomet hingyou
l
ikemaybeawesomebutuni versityi stoughguy s.I
didget50%onsomet estsandInev ergaveup
becauseoft hat.50%isamar kthaty ouhav etobe
usedt oinv arsit
y.Whenev erIf ail
edIwoul dcal lmy
dadandcr ytohi m.Hewoul dremi ndmeoft he
reasonwhyIwentt ov arsityagai n.WhenI
compl etedmydegr ee,Iknewt hatmomentt hatI
wannabecal l
edDr .Celeint hef ut ure.Ihavet wo
bestfriendswhoal sost udiedher e.Wei nf
luenced
eachot herindoi ngasecondqual ifi
cationbesi deour
fi
rstdegree.That’swhenIst udiedengi
neer
ingwit
h
mybestf riendwhichisNomawhoi salawyer
.The
otherfr
iendf ur
theredherstudiesandsheis
current
lyadoct orbyprofessionandbycert
ifi
cat
e.”
Theyallclap.

“ThereisnotmuchIhav etosay ,
justthatgoodl uck
andIwi shy ouguysall
thebest .Anythi
ngispossi bl
e.
TodayIhav emyowncompanybecauseIbel i
evedin
my selfandItol
dmy selfthatIcandoany thingthatI
putmymi ndto.TodayIam oneoft hebest
archit
ectsintheworldandt hat’
sbecauseIbel ieved
i
nmy selfandIbecamemynumberonei nspir
ation
andr olemodel.”

“Ihavegoodnewsf ory ouguy s.Nextyear,

Iam
providi
nginter
nshipsf orfiv
el uckystudent
s.Pl
ease
note,Iam notprovidingfort heoneswhohav egr eat
mar ksandexcel i
nt heirmodul es.Ev
eryonewil
l have
achancet oprovet hemsel vest ome.Iwanty ou
guyst osubmitatleastdr awi ngsofthreebuil
dings
andamot i
vat
ional l
etterstatingwhyIshouldhi
re
you.Inter
nshi
patDCCmeanst hatyouarea
permanentempl oyer,youjusthav etounder
go
tr
ainingandprovet hatyouar ewhatweneedatDCC.
PleaseemailwhatIhav ejustsai dat
zaneledcc@gmai l
.com.Thanky ousomuchf or
havingandhav eabl essedev ening.Goodluckwit
h
yourexams.”Theyal lclapt heirhandsasIgotomy
seat.

Zah:“
thatwasawesomeboss.Al thoughyou
sur
pri
sedmewi ththatannouncement.Nowyouare
goi
ngtocrowdmyemai laddr
ess.
”Ijustl
augh.Ial
so
sur
pri
sedmy sel
f.
Hl
ongwa:
“for
war
danot
herf
ivet
omyPAZanel
e.”I
smi
le.

Me: “
Iknewy ouwoul
dbet empted.
”Helaughs.
“Anyways,Iact
ual
lywantf
ift
een,fi
vef
oreach
branch,butIdi
dn’
twannaannounceaboutthenew
branchesbefor
eevenconstr
ucti
onhasbegun.”
Mam Hlongwa:
“ y
ouarev
erybl
essedmychi
ldand
youhaveagoodheart
.MayGodconti
nuet
obless
youwit
hmanyt hi
ngsi
nli
fe.
”Ismil
e.

Me: “
thankyouma.”Theeventconti
nuesandwear e
l
atercall
edandusheredbacktothepri
vatedini
ng
hall
.Thefoodisalr
eadysetf
orus.Wesi tdownand
theydishforus.
Zamoh:
“Icangetusedt
othi
s.”Wel
augh.

West arteati
ngandImustsayt hefoodisdel i
cious.
Whenwef ini
sheating,theyaskmet ogobackt othe
mainhal lt
otakepictureswiththest udents.Idothat
andwhenwear edone,theyhandmeanawar danda
cert
ifi
cate.Theyaresobeaut if
ul.Wel eaveandget
toLele’shouse.Hei snotherebecausehehasagi g
i
nPr etori
a.It
’saft
er9pm.If reshenupandwearmy
navycropt opandmat chingmi niski
rt.Ithenweara
tr
enchcoatandsandal s.
It
hentakemyhandbagandheadtothelounge
wher
eIfindt
heguardssi
tt
ingandwatchi
ngTV.
Ther
eisnosi
gnofZanel
e.
Me:
“wher
eisZanel
e?”
Mabut
ho:
“Mbusocamet
ofet
chherawhi
l
eago.
”
Me:
“mmm.
”

Isi
tdownandcal lLel
e.Iaskhimtosendme
Sandil
e’saddress.Hedoesn’tevenaskquest
ions,
he
j
ustsendsi t
.IaskZamoht odri
vemet her
e.When
wegett oSandile’
shouse,wef i
ndthegatewide
open.Icli
mbof fandheadt othedoorwhichi
salso
open.Igetinsi
deandIam i nawe.Hishouseisso
beauti
fulandclean.

Ther eismusicplayingbutit
’scomingf r
om upstair
s,
soIf oll
owit.It
’snosurpri
set hatheisplay
ingmusi c.
Hei s,aft
erall
,amusi ci
an.IgettowhatIassumei s
themai nbedroom.Iam say i
ngt hatbecauseitsdoor
i
sdi ffer
entandunique.Iopeni tandmymout hgoes
dry.Idon’tevenknowt henameoft hesexpositi
on
theyar edoingbuttheyarebot hontopofthebed.
Sandi
lei
sholdi
ngherlegsfarapar
t,Iam af
rai
dthey
aregoi
ngtodetachf
rom herbody.Igotothem and
taphi
m ontheshoul
der.

Me: “
hi.”Hefr
eezeswhenheseesmeandt ri
esto
pull
out .“
Don’
tbother.Therei
snothi
ngwr ongwit
h
whaty oudoi
ngbutjustknowt hatwhatev
er
rel
ati
onshipwehadi sover.Haveaniceli
feSandi
le
Ntul
i.
”
Ir
unoutsideandhopinthecar
.Zamohdr
ivesout
wi
thoutanyquest
ions.
Me:“dri
vetot
hehouseandgetMabut
hoand
Thobeka.Wearegoi
ngcl
ubbi
ngtoni
ght.Theni
ghti
s
st
il
lyoung.
”
Zamoh:
“sur
eboss.
”

AsmuchasIsomehowcheat edonSandilewith
Kuhl
e,i
thur
ts,
whathedid.Ididn’
tlovehi
m butIwas
st
art
ingtol
i
kehim.Thi
stakesmebackt otheti
me
whenSabel
oscrewedmeov er.Fuck!Thi
sisthe
r
easonwhyIdon’tdate.Theseni
ggasai n’
tloy
al,
yet
t
heyexpectustobeloyal.Fuckr
elat
ionshi
ps.Iwipe
ateart
hatfal
l
sdownmycheek.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER39

Zamohdr i
vesmet oSMGaf t
erbuyinglunchat
Steers.It
’sMondayandSandi lehasbeenbl owingup
myphone.Ibl ockedhim onallsocialaccounts
becausehewasbecomi nganui sance.Sakhil
eev en
call
edt obegonhi sbrot
her’
sbehalf .Ij
usttol
dhim
thati
fhest i
llwantstobeonmygoodbooks, he
shouldstopadv ocat
ingforhisbrot
her .

Heknewtheconsequencesofwhathewasdoi ng
andheisonlysor
rybecausehegotcaught.Weget
tomymot her
’soff
iceandshesmileswhenshesees
me.Mabuthogreetsandplacest
hefoodont he
tabl
e,het
henheadsout .
Mom: “
mybaby
,whatani
cesur
pri
se.
”Shest
ands
andcomest
ohugme.
Me:“mama.
”Ijustbr
eakdowninherar
msandcr y
.
Sheti
ght
ensherarmsaroundmeandIjustl
eti
tal
l
out
.

Sheleadsmet ot
hecouchandwebot hsitdown.I
conti
nuecryingonherarmsuntilIhavehiccups.She
standsupandgoest otakebott
ledwat erfr
om her
barfri
dge.Shehandsmei tandIdrink.Ical
m down
andwi pemyt ear
s.Shesit
snexttomeagai n.

Mom:
“wannat
alkabouti
t?”Inod.
Me: “myl oveli
feisamess.Ican’ tseem toget
anythingr i
ghtma.FirstitwasSabel o,whochosehis
i
nher i
tanceov erme.Thenj ustwhenIwasl i
vi
nga
str
ess- fr
eelif
e,thr
eemencamet omyl i
feand
compl icatedit
.Thefirstonecouldn’tgetenoughand
di
dn’tknowt hemeani ngofrejecti
on.Hewentont o
humi l
iatemei npublic.Thesecondoneaskedmet o
marryhi m andbehi ssecondwi fe.Thethir
done
court
edmeandIgavehim achance.WhenIwas
star
ti
ngt
oli
kehi
m, hecheatedonme.”

Fresht earsstream downmycheeks.Ir eali

zethat
Sandile’sactionsopenedupol dwounds.Itreminded
meoft hepai nthatIwentt hr
oughwhenSabel o
choseanot herwomanov erme.I thur
tssomuchand
Mat hapelo’swor dskeepringing.Eventhoughsheis
anon- factor,whatshesaidst uck.Menwi l
lalways
considermeasecondopt i
onwhenIt rysohar dto
provet oany onet hatIam enough.

Me: “
ithurt
smat hatt
heydon’
tseemeaswhoIam.
IthoughtIwasenough.Whatisi
tthatIam l
acki
ng?
”
Iconti
nuecryi
ng.Mom sighsoutl
oud.
Mom: “y
ouar emorethanenoughbaby.Theyareal
l
f
oolsfornotseeingt
hat.Nowtell
mewhot hese
mensot hatIcangoandgivethem mypeaceof
mind.
”Ichuckle.
Me: “Mv elo,theonewhodecl aredhislovef ormeon
social media, i
stheonewhof eel
slikeheisent i
tl
ed
tomyl ove.Hei stheonewhoi sdi
dn’ttakemy
rej
ect i
onv erywel l
.Theot heroneisSandi l
e.Hei sa
produceratLel e’
swork.If oundhimi nbedwi t
h
anotherwomanonFr i
dayni ght.Thethirdonei s
PrinceKuhl eoft heZuluKi ngdom.Hecour tedme
andsai dhewant smet obehi ssecondwi fe.WhenI
deniedt hat,hesaidhei sev enwill
ingtodivorcehis
wifef orme.Imadeami st akebysleepingwi thhi
m,
nowhet hi
nkshei senti
tledt omeandhesai dhe
won’ trestunt i
lmysurnamei sZulu.”

Mom: “yoh,theyhav eitbadfortheCeleprincess.”I

burstoutlaughingandsheal solaughs.“Theyal l
soundl i
keassholest ome, butt
hereareonl ytwo
whohav epot enti
al.Theproducerandthepr ince.
Thesoccerpl ayeristoomuchf ormyl i
ki
ngandI
don’tl
ikehisattit
ude.”
Me:
“whatshoul
dIdo?
”
Mom: “t
aketimetoregroupandfindy oursel
f.The
factthatyouarenotdatingi
sapr oblem baby .You
haven’theal
edfrom whatthatSi
mel aneboydi dto
you.Gof orther
apyorgot oaresortort he
rehabil
it
ati
oncenterforthedepr
essed. ”Iwipemy
tears.
Me:
“doy
ouknowwher
ethatpl
acei
s?”

Mom: “
it
’scall
edWomal enaResort.I
tissituatedin
Limpopoi nThohoy andou.Itusual
lytakesaboutt wo
tothreemont hstoheal i
nthatplace.Somet i
mesi t
takesupt oay ear
.Whati sgoodabouti tisthatthey
giveyouaSat urdayoffeveryonceinawhi l
e.Go
there.I
twill
begoodf oryou.”Il
ookather .
Me:
“yout
hinkso?
”

Mom:“Iknowsomylov
ebecauseIoncewentt
her
e
andt
heyhelpedme.
”
Me:
“youarenotgoingt
otel
lmewhatmadey
ougo
t
her
e?”shelaughs.
Mom:
“nope.
”Ial
sol
augh.
Me:
“IguessIhav
etosaygoodby
etodadt
hen.
”

Mom: “
pleasedo.Youdon’twanthimt urni
ngt he
whol eofSouthAfr
icaupsidedownl ookingforyou.
”
Ilaughbecausethatisn’
tfarf
etched.Dadcanbe
crazysomet i
mes.“Whenar eyouplanningongoi ng
there?”
Me:
“Wednesday
.”
Mom:“
okay
.Iwi
ll
call
them andtel
lthem abouty
ou.
Iwi
l
lal
somakeadeposi
tforyou.
”

Me:
“butmaIhav
emoney
,Icanpay
.”
Mom:“
bit
chplease,Ibroughtyoutot
hiswor
ld,
so
l
etmebeyourblesser
.”Ichuckle.
.
.
Iam al
sobri
ngi
ngdadluncht
oday,wel
lit
’sear
ly
l
unchbecausei
tisst
il
l12pm.Igett
ohisworkpl
ace
andtherecepti
onistsmil
ewi del
ywhensheseesme.
Shehasalway sbeenfri
endlyandwelcoming.We
exchangegreeti
ngsandthenIheadt odad’sof
fice.
WhenIgett hereIfi
ndhim standi
ngneart
hewi ndow
withhi
sbackt urnedtot
hedoor .

Me:
“si
rar
eyoubusy
?”Isayi
nadi
ff
erentt
one.
Dad: “notatall
.”hetur
nsandhel aughswhenhe
seesme.“ Whatapleasantsurpri
se.
”Igetinsi
deand
placet hefoodonhistable.Igohughim andthensi
t
onhi schair.“
Beingyourownbosshasspoi ledyou.
Youseatont hebiggestchairi
neveryof
ficeyouget
to.”Il
augh.

Me: “
dadpl
ease.Iam aceleb.Youshoul
dalways
givemethemostcomf or
tableandbigchai
rint
he
room.”
Dad: “wel
lthecouchisthereforareason.”Hesays
seatingoppositeme.“Andtomey ouar en’tacel
eb
becauseIbr oughty
out othi
swor l
d.InfactIam t
he
realcelebbecauseIproducedextr
aordinary
sper
ms.
”Il
augh.

Me: “
whateveroldman.”Ist
andupanddishforthe
bothofusandt henser
v ehi
m.Ialsot
akemyf ood
andsitdown.“Soareyouokay?”hechuckl
es
shaki
nghishead.
Dad:“
Iknewsomet
hingbr
oughty
ouher
e.Soout
wit
hit
.”
Me:
“Iam goingtoLi
mpopoforafewweeks,
may
be
amonthortwo.”Hefr
ownsandlooksatme.

Dad:
“why
?”
Me:“
Iwannaregroupandfindmysel
f.Iwannafal
li
n
l
oveandgiveyougrandki
dsdad.
”Hesi ghsand
st
opseat
ing.
Dad:
“ist
hatr
eal
l
ywhaty
ouwant
?”
Me:
“what
?”
Dad:
“hav
ingki
dsandal
i
fepar
tner
?”If
rown.
Me:
“don’
tyouwantgr
andki
ds?
”
Dad: “IdobutIwoul dn’tdemandt hem orf orceyou
tochangey ourplans.Babyy ourlifeisalreadybusy.
Youar eexpandi ngy ourbusi nessl ocall
yandgl obal
ly.
Youal readyhaveapl anonhowt henextf i
veyearsis
goingt ogo.Idon’ twanty out ofeel pressuredinto
havingahusbandandki ds.Ther eisnor ush.Iwant
yout odowhaty ouwantnotwhaty outhinkwe
want .
”Iwi pemyt ear sthatar ealreadyfalli
ng.Dadis
thebestf atherandi fIwasgi venanoppor tuni
tyto
choosewhomypar entswoul dbe, Iwouldchoose
him andmom ov erandov eragain.

Me:“Il
oveyousomuchdadandt hankyou.ButI
wannadothisanditnecessar
il
ydoesn’
tmeant hatI
am get
ti
ngmar r
iedwhenIgetback.”Hechuckles.
Dad:“
justsoyouknow,what
every
oudeci
de,
Iam
hundr
edpercentbehi
ndyou.
”Ismil
eandl
ookathi
m.
Me:
“thanksdad.
”
.
.
Ifi
nishpackingmycl othesinmyl ar gesuitcase.It
’s
al
readyi ntheev eni
ng.Ihav egiv enal lmy
housemat esadayof f.Ialsoaskedf orsomeal one
ti
mei nmyhouse.Yest erdayIwentt otheof fi
ceand
madeBobandZahact i
ngco- CEOs.It akemybags
andgopl acet hem i
nAst onMar tin.Idriveitandpar k
i
tneart hefrontdoor.Igobackt omyr oom and
pl
acet helettersIhavewr i
tt
eninmybed.Isent
Mv el
o,KuhleandSandi leschedul edemai l
s.Iknow
bythet i
met heygett hem, Iwillbel onggone.

Iswitchoffmyallmygadget sandalsoplacethem
onmybed.Il ookaroundmyr oom f
orthelastti
me
andthenheadout .Il
ockmyhouseanddr iveout.
Thehousemat eshavespar ekeys,
soIam not
l
ockingthem out.Ifi
rstdri
vetothepet
rolstati
onto
fi
ll
upt hetank.It
henj oi
ntheN1andal lr
oadslead
toThohoyandou.

#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER40(
Unedi
ted)

*
**LEE*
**
Mybody guardsareBabal waShabal alaandGi f
t
Mokoena.Wel lBabalwaiscool anddownt oearth
j
ustl i
keThobeka.Whi l
eGi f
tisamount ai
n.Hei sa
quietbutint
imidati
ngindivi
dual.Heonl ytal
kswhen
i
tisnecessar y
,li
kereall
ynecessary .Butit
’sgood
havingthem aroundbecauseIf eelsafeinmyhouse.
It
’sbeensol ongsinceIhav eheardf r
om At hi
butI
knowt hatheisstil
lcooki
ngsomet hingup.

Ihavebeentr
yingt ocontactFuthythewholeday
andherphonejustgoesst rai
ghttov oi
cemail
.Which
i
swei r
dbecauseshei sal
way sonherphonewhen
sheisnotworking.Rightnow,wear edriv
ingt
oher
house.Wegetthereandf indXoli,
Thobeka,Zamoh,
Mabut
hoandKgomot sochat
ti
ngi
nthel
ounge.They
nev
errunoutoft
hingst
osay.

Me:
“heyguy
s.Wher
eisFut
hy?
”
Xol
i
:“i
nherr
oom,
Ithi
nk.
”

Iheadt oherbedr oom whilemyguar dsjointhe

othersatt helounge.Igetthereandf indther oom
supercl ean.IfrownwhenIseeherphone, laptop
andt abletonherbed.Ther earealsoenv elopes
there.Igocl oserandIseeonewi t
hmynameoni t.I
sigh.Itcanonl ymeanonet hing,shei sgone.It ake
theletterandopeni t.Isi
tdownont hebedandst art
readingi t
.

Tomydearf
ri
endLi
ndel
wa
Don’tbesad.Thi si
snotasui ci
denote.Iam comi ng
back.Ijustneedtoregroupandf i
ndmy sel
f.Please
don’tbemadaboutt hefactt
hatIdidn’
tcomet oy ou
forhelp.Li
vey ourl
i
fetot hef
ull
est.Iam ki
dding,li
ve
y
ourl
i
fewher
einamont
hort
wo?Butl
i
venj
eTase.
Yourl
ovi
ngf
ri
end
Nt
ombi
fut
hi
PS:Mabuthohast
hehot
sfory
ou.Dosomet
hing
abouti
t.

Ichuckleshaki
ngmyhead.Shehadt omakeaj oke
attheend.ItakemyphoneandsendNomaat ext
sayingsheshouldgethereASAP.Aft
er30mi nutes
shebargesintheroom andlookar
ound.Shesighs
whenherey eslandonFuthy’
sgadget
sont hebed.

Noma: “
sheisgoneright?
”Inodandhandherthe
l
ett
eraddressedtoher.Shesit
sdownnexttome
andreadsit
.Aft
erafewmi nut
esshel
aughs.
Me:
“whatdi
dshesayt
oyou?
”
Noma:“
thatImustdumpKhany
a.Hei snotri
ghtf
or
meandhedoesn’tknowmywort
h.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“sheisri
ghtthough.Youguyshav en’
tev
en
dat
edf or3monthsbutalreadyheismakingyoucr
y.
Andtot hi
nkIapprovedofhim?”Ishakemyhead.
Shelaughs.
Noma:
“Iam goi
ngt
ofi
ndt
her
ightonef
orme.
”
Me:
“that
’st
hespi
ri
tbabes.
”
.
.
*
**KUHLE*
**
Ij
ustcamet ot heoff
icef orapprovi
ngmyl atestapp.
Iwast askedbyt hi
sint ernat
ionalr
estaurantto
creat
eanappf ort
hem, auniqueappt hatwil
l
outstandsandeasi l
yaccessi bleandhasnoads.I
fi
nishev er
ythingandt hencal l
myPAt omyof fi
ce.
Sheget sinsideandsitsont hechairoppositeme.

Namhl anje:“youcal
ledformeyourhi
ghness.
”I
stoppedt ell
inghernott
ocallmebymyr oyal
tit
lei
n
thewor kplacebecausesheisst
ubborn.
Me:
“Ineedy
out
oschedul
eameet
ingt
othat
i
nter
nati
onalr
estaurantwhot askedmetocreat
ean
appfort
hem.Tellthem thatIam donewitht
heapp
andIwanttopresentitt
ot hem.”shenods.

Namhlanje:
“Iwil
ldosoyourmaj est
y.”Shestands
andheadstothedoorbutturnstolookatme.“ Your
majestyt
hereisanemail
thatwassentt oyou
yest
erdaybuti
twasscheduledt obedeli
veredtoday.
It
’sf
rom acert
ainMissCele.It
’sonyourpersonal
email
.”
Me:
“thanky
ou.Iwi
l
lvi
ewi
tnow.
”
Namhl
anje:
“yourhi
ghness.
”Shebowsal
i
ttl
eand
t
henheadsout.
Igotomyemailsandf
indtheemail.I
t’
sfrom Fut
hy.
Thi
sisnew.Shehasneversentanemailbef
ore.

DearPr
inceKuhl
e
Iam notwell
,ment
all
y.Ihavemyowni ssues.Ihave
deci
dedt ogoanddealwit
ht hem pr
ofessional
ly.I
am goingtocomebackaftertwomont hs.Thisis
i
mpor tantf
orme.Don’trui
nitbytracki
ngmedown
becauseIwill
hateyoufortherestofmyl i
fefor
i
nterf
er i
ngwit
hmyment alheali
ng.Keepwel landdo
awaywi tht
hatsecondwifebull
shit
.Don’tl
etgoof
youryearsofmarri
ageforawomany ouhav eknown
foronl
yamont h.
Your
sTr
uly
MaCel
e
PS:
Irepeat
,don’
tlookf
orme.

Theemai lendst hereandIjustsi

gh.It’
struethatthe
peoplewhosmi l
eandl aughthemostar et heones
whoar ehurti
ngt hemost .Theyhi
det hei
rpainf rom
thewor l
dandj ustshowahappyf acet othewor ld
everyday.Iknowt hatFuthy’
sexbr okeherhear tbut
Ididn’
tknowt hatt hedamagewast hi
sdeep.Iam
reall
ynotgoingt ointer
ferewit
hherhealing.Ijust
wantt oseeher100%happy .
.
.
*
**NOMA*
**
Itaketheot herl
etter
sf r
om thebedandhead
downstairswi t
hLeef ol
lowingme.Wegett ot
he
l
oungeandf indtheseidiot
steasi
ngMabuthoabout
beingsingle.Ihandeachoft hem al
ett
er,
exceptf
or
Lee’sguards.

Thobeka:
“ ar
ethesev
oucher
s?Ihav
ebeendy
ingt
o
goshopping.”
Mabut
ho:“i
fonl
yyouaccept
edLel
e’
scour
tshi
p.”We
al
ll
augh.
Thobeka:
“don’
tst
art
.”
Lee:“
goonnow, openthel
etter
s.”Theyopenthe
l
etter
sandthei
reyespopout.Mabut hoandZamoh
rushtoFut
hy’
sroom andtheycomebackmoment s
l
ater.

Mabutho:
“sheisreal
l
ygone.
”Hesi
ghssi
tt
ingdown
andZamohsitsnexttohi
m.
Lee:
“whatdoesy
ourl
ett
erssay
?”
Xoli
:“theycontai
nchequesofat hree-
mont hsal
ary
.
Theyal sostat
ethatweshouldn’tleave,butwecan
vi
sitr
el at
ivesandourpart
ners.Shedoesn’ twantus
tol
eav eherhousealone.Sheev engav eus
permissionforourpar
tnerst
ov isitbutnotstay
l
ong.”

K:“
shewon’tbeher
eformyweddi
ng.
”Shesay
sina
l
owt one.
Me:
“sheisgoi
ngt
ocome.Shewoul
dn’
tmi
ssi
tfor
t
heworl
d.”

Kgomot soisgettingmarriedinthr
eeweeks.Fut hy
hir
edaweddi ngpl annerforhersothatshedoesn’t
wantKgomot sost ressi
ng.May i
bongwe, herfi
ancé,
i
snotat r
adit
ional man.Sothat’
swhyt heyare
havingtheweddi ngsoon.Theydon’thavet odoall
thosetr
aditi
onal stepsZulupeopledobef or
ethe
wedding.
Lee:“
Nomaisri
ght
.Futhywil
lcometoyourweddi
ng.
Justdon’
tcr
ywhenshesteal
stheshow.
”Theyall
l
augh.
Me:“Iam herefory
ouguy s.Shoul
dy ouneed
anyt
hing,
don’thesi
tat
e.Andwheny ouaregoi
ngt
o
cl
ubs,don’tl
eaveMe.”theylaughagain.

Wechi l
lforafewhour sandt henIl eave.Igett omy
houseandf indKhany ai
nt heki tchen.Isi ghandput
mybag, keysandphoneont heki tchencount er.I
kickoffmyheel sandputont hesl eeper swhichare
alwaysatthekitchen.Ialway sst arti
nt hekitchen
whenIgett omyhouse, somymai dalway sleave
them bytheentrance.Iopent hef r
idge,takingout
bottl
edwat eranddrinki
ngi t
.

Khanya:“wenolongergreetnow?”heaskswitha
smil
e.Ijusti
gnorehim andconti
nuedri
nkingwat
er.
“West i
l
lmad?”Iclosethebottl
eandputitbacki
n
thefr
idge.
Me:
“thi
sismyhouse.Iboughti
twi
thmyhar
d
earnedcash.Af ewweeksagoy ouhadt heri
ghtto
doasy ouwanther ebutnotnow.Youhav eshowed
met hatyouarestil
lyoungandalit
tl
ei mmature.You
don’tdeserv
etobewi thme, y
oucan’thandleme.
Nowl eavemyhousekey sonthi
stableandgetthe
fuckout.”heli
ckshisli
psandbitehi
sl owerli
p.

Khany
a:“Il
oveitwhenyougetalldominantwit
hme.
It
’saf
uckintur
non.Lookathowy oumakemef eel
.”
Hesaysgrabbi
nghisvi
sibl
ehardonf r
om his
sweat
pants.Gosh!Whydidyouhavetogivemea
ki
dwhenIaskedf oraman?
Me:“you’
reinsane.”Hejustsmi
l
esandt akesoffhi
s
sweatpants.Heisnotevenweari
ngboxers.“Youare
notabouttohav esexwithmeKhanya.Youhav en’
t
evenapologizedwell
.”

Khanya:“
thi
sismywayofapol ogizi
ngmyl ady,
by
gi
vingyoumulti
pleorgasms.”Hecl osest
hespace
bet
weenusi naswiftmov e,
pinningmeont hef
ridge.
Hishandst r
av elupanddownmyaccessi bl
ethi
ghs,
sinceIam wear ingonlyazippersi deboxypleat
ed
skirtandasol idr i
bbedcropt ankt op,
whi l
eheplant
s
sof tkissesonmyneck.Hei sweakeni ngmeandI
hat ethatheknowsmyweakspotwhi char emy
thighs.Hecar riesme, pl
acingmeont hekit
chen
count er,heroughlyremov esmyt hongandsmashes
har dinsideme.Igaspwel comi nghimi n.i
t’
sbeenso
l
ongsi ncewehav efucked.

Khanya:
“Iam sorrybabe.Iam justastupidi
diot
whodoesn’tknowagoodt hingwhenheseesone,
butIam youridi
ot.
”Bef or
eIcanr espond,
hestart
s
mov i
nghardandf ast.Yoh,i
t’
slikeheisona
missi
ontor i
papar tmypussy .

Me: “j
ustsoyouknow,itwil
ltakemorethanjust
roughsextomakemef orgi
vey ou.
”Isaypanti
ng
afterwebothreachourhappyending,wel
lhisfi
rst
andmyt hir
d.Heisreal
lygoodatmaki ngawoman
cum.
Khanya:
“Iknowbaby
,Iknow.”Hedoesn’tpullout
.
I
nsteadhecarr
iesmeofft
hecount erandheadsto
mybedroom whil
ewearesti
l
l j
oined.
Me:
“don’
ttel
lmey
ouhav
en’
thadenough.
”
Khany
a:“
thatwasonl
ythebegi
nni
ngl
ove.
”hewi
nks.

OneofthethingsIloveabouthi
mi shi
ssexdrive.
Yohthi
sguy ’
ssexgamecanmakey oulosemoral
s
someti
mes.Iknowweshoul dhaveaser i
oust
alkbut
fornowletmej ustenj
oybeingpl
easured.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER41

Igettotheretreatcenterandparkmycari nthe
pati
ents’parki
ngl ot
.Itakeoutmybagsandheadt o
therecepti
on.Ifindsomeonewi t
hbagst alki
ngto
therecepti
onistwhol ooksli
kehei ssigningout.
Theyfini
shtalkingandheheadsout .Istepforward
andshesmi lesatmebef oreIcanev ensayany t
hing.

Recept
ionist:
“welcomet oWomal enaResort
.My
nameisElelwaniTemudzani butyoucancallmeEle
orLwani.WhatcanIhel pyouwith?Surel
yyouare
checki
ngin.Whati syournamesot hatIcanchecki
f
youareregist
eredhere?”

Me:
“hel
l
o.Mynamei
sNt
ombi
fut
hiCel
e.”
Elel
wani:“
owwMi ssCeleIcanseey ournamehere.
Wehav ebeenwaiti
ngforyou.Ever
ythingi
ssethere.
Hereisyourkeycar
d.”Shehandsmeakeycar d.
“TENDA!”ayoungmanqui ckl
yappears.
Tenda:
“yesMi
ssTemudzani
.”Sher
oll
sherey
es.
El
elwani:
“Ial
way
stel
lhi
mtocal
lmeEl
elwani
buthe
nev
erlist
ens.
”

Me:
“Icanr
elat
e.”Webot
hlaugh.
Elel
wani:“TendaescortMissCelet
ohersuitewhich
i
sont hesecondf l
oor
.Wheny ouar
edoneset t
li
ngin,
youneedt ogot othesecondroom i
nthefi
rstfl
oor
wherey ouwi l
lfi
ndsomeonewhowi ll
tel
lyoumor e
aboutthisplace.
”

Me: “
thanky ou.”Tendatakesmybagsandl eadsme
totheelevator.Wegettomyr oom.Wowt hisr
oom
i
sbeaut i
ful.It
’sli
keahotelsuite.“
Wowt hi
sis
beauti
ful.Ifeell
ikeIam goingtoenjoymystay
here.
”
Tenda:
“thatyouwil
lMissCele.
”Heplacesmybags
ontopofthedoublebed.“
Ifyouneedanythi
ng
pl
easedon’thesi
tat
etoask.”

Me:“
thankyouTenda.DoIti
pyouf
orhel
pingme
wi
ththebags?”hechuckl
es.
Tenda:“nomi
ss.Thi
sisnotahot
el.Seey
ou
around.
”Heheadsout.
.
.
Igett
otheofficewher
eElel
wani
sai
dImustgoto.I
fi
ndtwopeople.Amaleandafemal
esi
tt
ingand
havi
ngpizza.

Me:“hell
o.Iam Fut
hyCel
eandIwast
oldt
ocome
her
e.”thewomansmi l
es.
Woman: “
youar
eSij
abul
i
le’
sdaughter
?”Ismil
eand
nod.“
Youlookj
ustl
i
kehere,
wellandabitofyour
fat
her
.”
Me:
“howdoy
ouknowt
hem?
”

Woman: “y
ourmotherwasonceapati
enthere.Your
f
athercamedemandingtoseeherandthr
eatening
t
obur nthi
spl
acedown.Thatmancanbecr azy.
”I
l
augh.
Me:
“yep.That
’sexact
lyhowhei
s.”

Woman: “bythewayIam Bono,

founderanddi
rect
or
oft
hisresortandt
hisi
sMaumel a,
heisthemanager
oft
hisplace.”
Me:
“ni
cet
omeety
oubot
h.”

Maumel a:
“thi
splaceisforfi
ndingyour
sel
f,
connect
ingwithyourinnersel
f.Basi
cal
lyf
oryour
mentalhealt
h.Youhav edonewellbycominghere.I
t
meansy ouacknowledgethatyouhaveaprobl
em
andyouarecountingonust ohelpyougetwell
.”
Bono: “
peopletendt ocomei ntot herapywhent hey
areexperi
encingsomedi ff
icul t
ycopi ngorr esolvi
ng
anissueont heirown.Usual ly,theywi llseektherapy
becausetheyar eexperiencingdepr ession,anxi
ety,
rel
ati
onalproblemsoranot heri ssuet hatiscausing
somedi st
ress.”Awomanbar gesi ntheof fi
ce.Sheis
wearingcasual cl
othes.Shei scar ryingat ablet
,
phoneandasetofkey s.

Woman2: “
Iam sor r
yforbeingl at
e.Mysessi ontook
l
ongert hanantici
pated.”Shet akesaseatnextt ome.
Sheplacest hethingsshei scarryi
ngi nthetabl
eand
turnstolookatmewi thasmi leonherf ace.“Hey,I
am Doct orDakaloMahuwa.Feel f
reetocallme
Dakalo.Iam goingt obey ourtherapistduri
ngyour
stayinthisresort
.”Sheext endsherhandf oea
shakeandIshakei t.

Me:“Iam Fut
hyCele.Pl
easecal
lmeFut
hynotMi
ss
Cel
e.”Shesmiles.
Dakal
o:“
asy
ouwi
sh.Ourf
ir
stsessi
oni
stomor
row
at12:
00pm.Myoffi
cei
stwodoor
sawayf
rom t
his
one.Don’
tbel
ate.
”
Me:“
Iam abusinesspersonsoIknowhowt i
meis
i
mportantandbei
nglatecancausetheper
sonyou
ar
emeet i
ngwithtobegrumpy.”

Dakal
o:“
Ithi
nkIam goi
ngt
oli
key
ou.
”
Maumela:
“Ial
readyl
i
keher.
”Weal
ll
augh.Dakal
o
st
andsupandtakeherst
uff
.

Dakalo:“Icametoint
roducemysel
ftoyou.Wewil
l
meett omor r
ow.Seeyoutomorr
owguys.”Shesay
s
totheothersandthenheadsout.

Bono:“y
ouwi l
lfi
ndAlubyt hedoorofy oursuite
wait
ingfory
ounow.Shewi llt
ellyoueveryt
hingyou
needtoknowaboutt hi
splaceandwhati sexpected
ofyou.Wehopebyt heendofy ourst
ayher e,you
wouldhaveachievedwhaty oucameherf or .
”
Me:
“Ihopesot
oo.
”.
Ifi
ndanol derversi
onofNomxolisiwai
tingformeat
mydoor .Sheiscarryi
nganotepadandani Pad.She
i
swear ingreadi
ngglasses.Shel
ookslikeaner d
though.Sheisdressedli
kethoselawstudentswe
seeonmov i
es,thosewhogot oYaleorHarvard.She
stopswhatshei sdoingwhensheseesmeand
smiles.

Alu:“youmustbeMi ssCel
e.Iam Al
u,coor
dinat
orof
thisplace.Ihavecomet ot
akeyouforyourt
ourand
telly
ouev eryt
hingyouneedtoknowaboutthis
place.”
Me:
“pl
easecal
lmeFut
hy.
”

Alu:
“okayFuthy
.Areyousetf
orat
ourory
ouneed
somethi
ngfrom yourr
oom?”
Me: “l
etmej ustchangeint
ofli
pfl
ops.
”Irushtomy
room, changetofli
pflopsandgobacktoher.“
Iam
ready.
”Wegodownt hehall
wayandhopontothe
elevat
or.
Alu:“Iam taki
ngy ououtsi
de.Womal enaResor twas
buil
tin1970.I thasbeenrenov atedalotthesepast
fewy ears.I
tisforpeoplewhohav edepression,
sufferfrom anxiet
y,PTSD,abuse, basi
call
yahome
forpeopl ewhoar ewil
li
ngt oclai
m backt hei
rment al
health.Bonoisnott heactualfounderbuther
grandmot heristhefounder.Shet ookoverfrom her.
”
Me:
“it
’sl
i
keal
egacy
.”

Alu:“yesbutBonohadt hesamev isionasher

grandmot her.Itwasn’ tjustani nher itancet oherbut
shehadt hesamemi ndsetashergr andma. ”Weget
outsi
de.“Ther ear eact i
viti
est hatar eav ailable.You
needt oatleastbei nvolvedinami nimum oft wo
sportsduringy ourst ayher e.It’
sy ourwayof
entert
ainment .Wehav esoccer ,net ball,swimmi ng,
basketball
,chess, tennis, golfi
ngandcr icket.You
canalsojoinachoi r.Wehav econcer tsev erymonth
endwher et hechoi randot hertalent edpat ients
entert
aineachot herandusast hest af f
.”
Me:“t
hat’
ssocool.”Shesmi l
es.Sheistalki
ngabout
t
hesportswhi
leshowi ngmecour ts,
groundsand
r
oomswher ethesesportsareplayedat.Thi
splace
i
sreal
lyhuge,
likeFancourtHotel.
Alu:“
weal sohaveanar
troom.Ar
tisal
soanother
form oft
herapysoyoucandrawt
herewhat
everyou
feell
ikedrawi
ng.”

Me:“Iam anar
chi
tect
,am Ial
l
owedt
odr
awmy
sket
ches?”
Al
u:“
youar
emor
ethanwel
comedear
.”
Me:
“that
’smusi
ctomyear
s.”Ismi
l
e.

Alu:“yougetaf r
eedaybet weenFr i
dayandSat ur
day
everyweekwher eyoucangoout ,may bedosome
shoppi ngorclubbing,dependingonwhaty ouwanna
do.Thi sfreedayshowst hatthisisnotaprison,
ratherar esort.I
fyouwant ,
youcanhav evi
sit
orsbut
onceaweek.Her eisabracelet.
”Shehandsmea
braceletwhi chbuttons.“
Youar eexpectedtokeepit
ony
oudur
ingy
ourst
ayher
e.”
Me:
“isi
tahi
-t
echdev
ice?
”shel
aughs.

Alu:“kindof.Wehav epati
entsget
ti
nganxi et
yand
panicat t
acksmostoft heti
me.Sowhenasi tuat
ion
l
ikethathappens, y
oupr essanyofthosebuttons
ther
eandast affmemberwi l
lbeaty ourdoorinl
ess
thant womi nutes.
”
Me:
“that
’sf
ast
.”

Alu:“wedon’thavetimetochi
ll
.Weknowourjob
descript
ion.Duri
ngourshif
tsweknowthatwemust
al
way sber eadyforany
thi
ng.Manythi
ngshappen
aroundher e.
”
Me:
“ar
eweal
l
owedt
oint
eractwi
thot
herpat
ient
s?”

Alu:“
Futhythisisn’
tpri
son.Youar eal
lowedt omake
fr
iendswithanyoft hepati
ents.Youmayf indthat
shari
ngproblemsamongy ourselv
esisaf orm of
heali
ng.Youar ealsogoi
ngt ohavegroupt her
apy
t
wiceaweekwit
hpat
ient
swhoar
efaci
ngt
hesame
i
ssuesasy
ours.
”
Me:
“thatsoundsni
ce.
”

Alu:“
oneoft hebestfeaturesaboutthi
splacei sthe
food.Yougettoorderanyt ypeoffoody oulike.You
canev engotothekitchent ocookforyourselfify
ou
feell
iketheyaref
ail
ingy ou.”Il
augh.
Me:
“not
ed.
”Shesmi
l
es.

Alu:“
Iam hopi
ngy
ouenjoyyourst
ayhereandwe
helpyouwit
hwhatev
erprobl
emsandissuesyouar
e
faci
ng.”
Me:
“Ihopesot
oo.
”.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER42

It
’salready11: 55andt heti
mef ormyf ir
stt herapy
sessioni snearing.Il
ookatmyr efl
ecti
oni nthe
mirroronemor et i
meandt henheadout .Vendai s
veryhotsoIam wear ingbluepol kadotf r
il
ltri
m
Cami topandspl i
them skirtsetwithbrownFendi
fl
atsandal s.Ilockmysui teandheadt oDakal o’s
offi
ce.Igeti nsideandf i
ndherwr it
ingsomet hingon
hernot epad.

Me:“gooddaydoct
or.
”Isaysi
tt
ingdownont
he
couchavai
l
able.
Dakal
o:“
gooddayFut hy
.”Herof fi
ceisverybeauti
ful
.
Youcanseethatt
heper sonwhodi dthedesigning
her
eknowstheirj
ob.Itwasn’tjustoneofthestaff
membersmixingt
hingst heythoughtfi
tt
ed.
Me:“y
ouhav
eav
erybeaut
if
ulof
fi
ce.Whodesi
gned
i
t?”
Dakal
o:“
ani
nter
iordesi
gnerf
rom Pol
okwane.
”

Me:“i
tisver
ybeaut i
fulandwelcoming, andal
soa
bi
tint
imidat
ing.Il
ov ehowshepl ay
edwi t
hthe
col
ours.I
ssheani ndependentdesigner?”she
smil
esatmeandpl acesdownanot epad.
Dakalo:“
Shei
saf r
eel
ancer.Shefeel
sli
keifshe
weretobeemployed,shewouldbeunderpai
dand
l
esspeoplewouldnotunderst
andthewayshe
works.”

Me: “
I’
dlovetomeether .Iam openi
nganother
branchofDCCi nJohannesburgroundaboutMayor
Junenextyear.I
’dl
ov etohaveherworkformeand
dotellhert
hatIwon’tunderpayher.
”
Dakalo:
“Iam sur
eshewouldbedel
i
ght
edt
ohear
that
.Sheismydaughterbyt
heway.
”
Me:“
well
mostprai
sesgot
oy ouforbr
ingi
ngsuch
anamazi
ngt
alentt
othewor
ld.”
Dakal
o:“
thankyousomuch.”Shestandsupand
comestositonthechai
ropposit
emewi t
ha
not
epadandpenonherhand.“ Shal
lwestar
t?”I
l
augh.

Me:
“ofcour
se,
Ijustgotdi
str
act
edbyt
his.
”
Dakal
o:“under
standabl
e.Sot
ell
me,
whoi
s
Ntombif
uthiCel
e?”
.
.
Aft
ermyt her
apysessi onIheadbackt omyr oom
whereIchanget oasunf lowerpri
ntcami shortbi
ki
ni
swimsuit.Iputay ellowkimonoont opandbl ackfl
ip
fl
ops.Thesuni stoohotsoIputonahatand
sunglasses.Iheadt othepool.Iplacet hekimono,
hat,f
lopsandsungl assesonapool chairandjump
i
nsidethepool .Idoaf ewlapsandt hent akeabreak.
Whilesitt
ingandsi ppingonwat er,someguysi t
s
nextt
ome.

Guy:“hel
l
obluehair
.Youreal
l
ydy edyourhai
rblue.I
thoughti
twasaweav e.
”Heiswearingbeachshorts
andanecklace.Hehasdyedhishai
rpink.
Me:
“hel
l
opi
nkhai
r.
”Hel
aughs.

Guy
:“youalsohaveweir
dey es.Idon’
tknowwhet
her
t
ocall
y oubluehai
rorweir
dey es.”
Me:“Ipr
efery
oucall
ingmebymynamewhi
chi
s
Fut
hy.”Heshakeshi
shead.

Guy:“
nah,I
mmaset t
leforBl
ue,y
eahBlue.Ni
ce
ni
ckname.Iam Dani
elbythewaybuti
fyouwanna
beonmygoodbooksy oucancallmeDanny.
”Ihav
e
fi
gur
edthathei
sgay .
Me:
“ni
cet
omeety
ouDanny
.”

Danny
:“byt
hewayy
ouhav
emadswi
mmi
ngski
l
ls
andani
cebodybabe.
”
Me:“i
fyouhaveapooli
ny ourbackyar
d,y
ougotta
pol
i
shy ourswi
mmingskil
l
sev erynowandthen.
”

Danny:“It
hinkwearegoingt
obegreatf r
iends.
Mostpeopledon’tli
kemebecauseofmy
‘
personali
ty’
.”Hesaysusi
ngai
rquotes.Il
augh.
Me:“wel
lIhav
eaf r
iendwhichhasapersonal
i
tyli
ke
your
sandIlovehi
mv erymuchbecauseheisvery
openandfuntobewith.Anyway
showlonghav eyou
beenher
e?”

Danny:“
about3weeks.Thi
splacei
ssocool
buti
t
canbebori
ngwheny ouhavenofri
endst
ogoout
wit
h.”
Me:
“ther
ear
eni
ghtcl
ubsi
nThohoy
andou?
”

Danny:
“Idon’tknow,butIhavebeent
oPolokwane
anddamnt hattownissoaliv
e.Weshoul
dgot her
e
thi
sFri
day.Therearegoingtobemanyar
tist
swho
aregoingtobeperf
ormingatt
hiscl
ubcal
l
ed
Indust
rial
Shi
sanyama.”
Me:
“countmei
n.”

Danny
:“y
es.
”Wehi
-f
ive.
Me:
“youswi
m?”

Danny:“
owwnol ovebutIcomeher etojustl
ookat
thefi
ne,sexybrothers.Youknowt her
eisnothing
wrongwithlooking.”Helickshisli
psstaringatthe
guywhoi sswimmi ng.Ijustlaughshakingmyhead.
Ithi
nkIam goingt oli
keither eevenmor enow.
.
.
Therearesomeact i
vit
iesthatAluforgottoment i
on.
Li
key ogaandmedi t
ati
oncl asses.I
t’
sFr i
dayandI
am atamor ni
ngmedi tat
ionclass.I
t’
sout sidebythe
ri
ver
.Thei nst
ructorhasinst r
uctedusonwhatt odo.
Dannyisalsoattendingit.Heissuchabr eathof
fr
eshair.Oursuitesareont hesamef l
oor.
I
nstructor
:“nowshutev eryot
hervoiceorsoundi
n
yourmindandj ustconcentr
atetothesoundsof
nature,
theflowingri
ver,t
hebirdschir
ping.
”

Ikeepquietandjustshutall
thethoughtsIhavein
mymi nd.Igivet
henat uremyundividedat
tenti
on
whilemyey esareshut.Thi
sisactuall
yrel
axing.One
mayev enendupf al
li
ngasleep.After30minutesthe
classcomest oanendandwegobackt othegy m
room toputbackthemat sweused.

Ihav eaf reedaytomorrowbutmyf r

eetimest ar
t
tonight.Iam excit
edaboutgoi ngout .Wewi l
lbe
usingmycarbecauseDannywasbr oughthereby
hissister.Heisanendocr i
nologist.Hedidtellme
aboutwhatt ypeofadoctorist hatbutIhavetotall
y
forgot.ImeanIcan’ tevenpronouncet hewor dwell
wi t
houtlookingatit.Heli
vesinMossel Bay.I
freshenupandt henheadtomyt herapysession.
Dakal
o:“
sot el
lmeabouty
ourr
elat
ionshi
pwi
thy
our
exSabel
o.”
Me: “
wemeti nJHBCent ralduri
ngmysecondy ear
i
nv arsi
ty.Iwashav i
nglunchwi thmyfri
endswhen
t
hisguyj ustcamet oourtableandaskedtospeak
t
ome.Ij ustsmi ledandtoldhimt ogosuckadick.
Heleftourtableandcamebackaf t
er10minut
es.
Hewasl ike‘Ihavesuckedadi ck,nowcanItal
kto
you?’
”Dakal olaughs.

Dakal
o:“
suchachar
act
er.
”
Me:“Igavehi
m achanceandf rom t
henwest ar
ted
dati
ng.Il
ovedmyschool workandIstudiedmostof
theti
me.Heunder stoodt
hatandonlyaskedtosee
meev er
ySaturday.Westart
edspendingmoretime
duri
ngholi
daysbecauseIwouldshadowHl ongwa,
soI’
dstayatJohannesburgandonlygohomei n
weekendsoront hanksgi
vi
ngorChrist
mas.”

Dakal
o:“
howwasheasaper
son?
”
Me:“hewasov er
protecti
ve,
domi nantandstr
ictbutI
l
ovedhim soIsawt hatascute.Theonlythi
ngt hat
wefoughtaboutfr
om t i
metot i
mewashi s
wanderi
ngey
e.Buthedi
dloveme,orsoIthought.
Unt
ilt
hedayhechosehi
sinher
it
anceoverourlov
e.”

Dakal
o:“
howdi
dthatmakey
ouf
eel
?”
Me: “
Ilovedhim somuch.Ihadbeeni nr elat
ionshi
ps
beforebutwi thhimi twasmagi cal.Itcamenat ur
all
y.
Ijustlovedhim becausehewasr eal,t
ruet owhathe
i
sandheal waysshowedmel ov enotj ustbysay i
ngI
l
ov ey oufrom timetot i
me.Whenwebr okeup, Iwas
shat t
ered.Ithoughtmay behewoul dcomebackt o
begmet obeinhi sl
ifebuthedidn’t.Tomaket hi
ngs
wor se,Igottolearnabouthismar r
iagef rom the
medi a.Itwasv erypainf
ul.
”Iwipet het earsthatare
fall
ing.Dakalopassest heboxoft i
ssues.It hankher
andext ractatissue.

Dakal
o:“
woul
dyoul
i
ket
ocont
inue?
”Inod.
Me: “i
twashar dpicki
nguppi ecesafterhim.Actual
ly
Ididn’
tpickthem up.Ijustt
ookacl othandcov ered
everyt
hing.Icarr
iedonl i
kenothinghappenedand
j
ustshutdownanyguywhowasi nt
erestedi
nme.I
haveactual
l
ybeenhav
ingmeani
ngl
esssexf
or
year
s.”

Dakalo:
“havethereeverbeenaguywhom y
ouhave
l
edon?Li kehadsexwi t
haguywhowasact ual
l
y
l
ookingforarelat
ionshi
pwithyou?
”
Me: “i
thappensal lthet i
mebutt omydef enseI
neverl eadsomeoneon.Ij ustlayoutmycar dson
thetabl esearly
.Ther ear esomet houghwhohav e
takenmynost ri
ngsat t
achedt omay bepl
ayinghar
d
toget .Therewast hisoneguywhowasl i
ter
all
y
obsessedwi thme.WehadsexwhenIwasst i
l
l
stayi
ngi nJHB.Hei nterpr
etedoursexual
rel
ationshipasar eal one.Iwasshockedwhenhe
i
nt r
oducedmet ohi sfami l
y,gotjealouswhenhe
sawmehav i
ngdinnerbusi nessdat eswi t
hmal e
cli
ents.Thi ngswer ebad. ”
Dakal
o:“
howdi
dyoudeal
wit
hthat
?”
Me: “
IhadacolleaguewhoIaskedtoposeasmy
husband.Thatchasedhi
m away.”Shecl
osesher
notepad.
Dakalo:“
from whatIhav epickedupon, youhav en’
t
healedfr
om whaty ourexdi dtoy ou.Theysayt i
me
healsal
lwoundsbutwoundst hatcanbeheal edare
theonesthathav ebeent r
eated.Yourwoundwas
nevertr
eated.Itcaughtinf
ections.Younev er
all
owedy oursel
ftoheal.Iam actuallysurpr i
sedthat
youdidn’
tgoaf teryourex’
swi febecauset hat’
s
whataper sonwhohasn’ thealedl i
keyou, dealswith
break-
ups.Oursessi onhavecomet oanend.At
l
eastnowIknowwhatwear edeal i
ngwi t
h.Wewi ll
seeeachot heronMonday .
”Istandup.
Me:“t
hanksdoct
or.Hav
eagr
eatweekend.
”Ihead
out
..
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER43

It
’smyt hir
dweekinWomal ena.Ihavebeenenjoying
mysessi onwit
hDakal o.Shehasmademer eali
z e
thatIhavebeenhurti
ngsomeoft heguysthatIhav e
sleptwit
h.WhenIgetbackt oDurbanIam goingto
wr i
teemailsf
orthem, apol
ogizi
ng.Iam al
sogoi ng
toapologizet
oMv eloforwhatwentdownbet ween
thetwoofus.WhatIknowi sthatIam nevergoing
tohav eaonenightstandagainbecausesomebr i
ng
drama.

Myst ayherehavebeensomuchf un.Ihavemade

somanyf r
iendsfrom t
hebasket
ballteam and
othersthatIswim wit
hbutDannyismynumberone
gir
l.Healway scomewi thmetosomespor t
s.He
actuall
ylovesnetbal
landchesssoIal sogowith
hi
m butt
ojustwat
ch.

Heaskedt oaccompanymet oK’sweddi ng.Hesai

d
hewant stomeetmyf amily
.Wef oundadesi gneri
n
Makhadowhodesi gnedmat chi
ngout fi
tsforus.Our
outfi
tsaresobeauti
ful,wecan’twaittoshowcase
them.Weaskedf oraf reeweekendf rom Bonoand
sinceit
’sanoccasi
on, shegranteditbutsaidImust
bebackbySundayev ening.

Iam act uall

ysadbecausethisi
ssupposedt obe
Danny ’
sl astweekbuthesaidhei sgoi
ngtostay
anotherweek.May beImightbegoinghomeear l
i
er
thanex pectedbecauseDakaloishappywithmy
progress.Ihav eal
soatt
endedgr oupther
apyand
that’
swhenIf oundoutwhatreall
ybroughtDanny
here.

Apparent
lyhewasinlov
ewi ththi
spri
ncef
rom hi
s
vi
ll
age.Theywenttovar
sitytoget
her
.Thepri
nce
al
solovedhim.Theydatedfor3year
s.Whenthey
wentbackhomeaf t
erf i
nishingthei
rdegrees,
they
di
scoveredthattheprincewasar r
angedtomar ry
somewomanf rom hisv i
ll
age.Thepr i
ncecouldn’
t
eventakeDannyashi ssecondspousebecausei t
wasashameandt heywoul d’veki
ll
edbothofthem
becausesamesexr elationshipsareforbi
ddenthere.

Theprincemarriedt hi
swomanbuthewasn’ tinl
ov e
withher.Theycontinuedtheirrel
ationshi
pinsecret.
Theywentt ovacationsoutsidethecount r
y.Theking
foundoutaboutt heirrel
ati
onshipandhechased
Danny’sfamil
yawayf rom t
hev il
lage.Healsosent
hisgoonstokill
Dannybutl uckil
yhesur v
ivedand
tookcareofhisfami ly
.

Henev ermadecont actwit

ht heprinceagai nbuthe
sawhi m monthslat
eratar estaur
ant .Dannywas
chil
li
ngwithhiscoll
eagueswhent hepr incegoti
n
withhiswif
e.Dannyj ustr
ushedoutaf terseei
ng
them.Thepr i
ncefoll
owedhi m butbef orehecould
alt
erasingleword,hiswifecaughtupwi t
hhim.They
nev
ert
alkedunt
ilt
hisday
.

Wear enowatt hePolokwaneairportwher eweare

goingtocatchourfl
ighttoDurban.I
t ’
sFriday
midday.Wef et
chedouroutfi
tsearli
eron.Any ways
weboar dtheplaneandthentheplanet akesoff
.
Aft
ersixhoursofflyi
ng,welandatKi ngShaka
ai
rport
.Wechecki natTheOy sterBoxHot el
becausethat’
swheret heweddingisgoingt obeat.

Iam notall
owedt ogohomeori nteractwit
hmy
l
ov edones.Iwillonlyseethem t
omor rowatthe
wedding.Iam notev enall
owedt otouchmygadget s.
Wear eshari
ngasui tewit
hDannybutt herearetwo
roomstheresowear enotabouttoseeeachot her
’s
nakedness.Weset t
ledownandwhenwear edoneI
takeashower .Idrymybodyandwr apat owel
aroundit
.Igot omyr oom andfi
ndDannyonmybed.

Danny
:“Bl
uewear
esogoi
ngoutt
oni
ght
.”
Me:
“towher
e?Youdon’
tev
enknowpl
acesher
e.”

Danny :
“bi
tchplease.Iknowt hi
ngsandpeople.Imet
acelebdownt hecorridor.Hehasagigatthi
sclub,I
forgoti
tsnamebutwear eheadedthere.Soget
ready,wearel
eav i
ngwi thhiminanhour.”
Me:
“youar
esuchav
ibe.
”

Danny:“
damnri
ghtIam.”Heheadsout.Ilot
ionmy
bodyanddomymake-up.Aft
erthatIst
ylemy‘ Bl
ue’
hai
rasDannycal
lsi
t.

Igetdressedinamar oonself
-ti
ebandanatop,slant
pocketbut t
onfr
ontdenim ski
rtandmaroonBat hu
MojaEditionSneaker
s.Ithenpairi
twit
hmar oon
wri
stwat chanddenim sl
ingbag.Iputmywal l
etinit
andthengoknockatDanny ’
sdoor.

Me:
“Iam done.
”
Danny:
“Iam wit
hyounowBlue.Iam t
aki
ngmybag. ”
Fewminuteslat
erhecomesoutweari
ngablacktee
wit
hti
ghtblackandwhit
eshor
tsandwhitesneaker
s.
Heiscarr
yingawhit
esli
ngbagandhismake-upis
onpoi
nt.

Me:
“Iam j
eal
oust
haty
oudomake-
upbet
tert
han
me.
”
Danny:
“butyou’
reokaybecausey
ouknowhowt
o
doyourbrows.
”
Me:
“tr
yingt
omakemef
eel
bet
terIsee.
”Hel
aughs.

Danny:
“let’
sgo.”Weheadoutandfindthi
srapper
Afr
ikai
nt hehall
waywithhi
screw.Heisfr
om Cape
Townbuthehasbeenst ayi
nginJHBwher ehis
car
eerfl
ourished.“
Afee.
”Hegoestohughim.

Afri
ka:“
Danny
.”Theybot
hhug.“
Thi
smustbey
our
fr
iend.
”
Danny
:“Bl
ue.
”Theybot
htur
ntost
areatme.
Af
ri
ka:
“ar
en’
tyouLel
e’
ssi
ster
?”Ishr
ug.
Me:
“may
be,
may
benot
.”Hesmi
l
es.
Af
ri
ka:
“Il
i
key
oual
ready
.Let
’sgo.
”Weal
lheadout
.
.
.
Wegett othiscl ubcalledAl l
oy.It
’sownedby
ThandekaandLuv uyoSi t
hole.Theyarethesetwo
si
bli
ngs, or
igi
nal l
yf r
om Nor thernCapebutar enow
basedinSandt on.Theyhav eclubsandr est
aurants
al
loverSout hAf ri
caandt hei
rplacesareamazing
andoutoft hiswor ld.Notev eryonegetsinther
e.
Youdon’ tf
indv arsit
yst udentsorhighschool
l
earners.Theonl ypeopl ewhogot hereareworking
peopl
eandbl essees.

Thereist
hishugelineout si
deandt heladiesar
e
l
ookingasbeautif
ul andclassyasev er.Theguysar
e
al
solooki
nghandsome.Thehost essleadsustothe
VVIPsecti
onandwesi tdown.Awai t
ercomesour
way,shei
ssmi l
ingf rom eartoear.
Wai
ter
:“whatwoul
dyoul
i
ket
oor
der
?”
Af
ri
ka:
“whatar
eyouguy
sdr
inki
ng?
”
Danny
:“abot
tl
eofTanquer
ayandmi
xer
s.”
Af
ri
ka:“
getusthatandtwobot
tl
esofHennessywi
th
mi
xersandthr
eebottl
esofMoet.
”

Oneoft
hedancer
s:“
alsogetushubbl
y.
”
Oneoft
heguy
s:“
getust
hreemeatpl
att
ers.
”

Wai
ter
:“wi
l
lthatbeal
l
?”
Af
ri
ka:
“yes.
”
Wai
ter:“
okay
.Yourdr
inksaregoingtobeherein
l
essthan10minut
esandy ourfoodwil
lbeherei
n
l
essthan30minut
es.
”Shel eav
es.
.
.
Wehav
eeatenandnowweareti
psy
.TheMCcalls
Af
ri
kat
othestageandhel
eav
eswit
hhisdancer
s
andstagemanager.Hi
sothermanagerst
aysbehi
nd.
Shehardl
ytal
ks.Shehasbeenonherphoneever
si
ncewegother e.

Danny
:“Iam get
ti
ngsomet
oni
ght
.”Hewhi
sper
sin
myear.
Me:
“fr
om who?
”
Danny
:“Af
ee!
”hewhi
sper
sloudl
y.
Me:
“forr
eal
?”
Danny
:“y
eahBl
ue.
”
Me:“whenl
astdidyougetlai
d?Sur
elyy
ouhav
en’
t
shav
edinawhile.
”Helaughs.

Danny
:“okusal
ayoIam get
ti
ngsomet
oni
ght
.”I
l
augh.
Me:
“luckyy
ouboo.
”
Danny
:“y
eahl
uckyme.
”hesmi
rks.
Afri
katakesthestage.Theguysur eknowshowt o
rapanddance.Hei sflexibl
eliket
hoseguy sf
rom
thestepupmov ies.Thecr owdistoomuch.They
l
ov ethi
sguy.Hesur el
yi stheSouthAfr
icanChri
s
Brown.Diff
erenceisthather apsandChrissi
ngs.

Me:
“hei
sreal
l
ygoodandhei
sagr
eatdancer
.”
Manager:“t
othi
nkheactual
l
ywant st
ostop
danci
ng.”It
urnt
oher.OkayIam notgoi
ngto
quest
ionwhyshehasn’
tbeental
king.

Me:
“why
?”
Manager:“hesust
ainedt
hismeani njur
ylastweek.
Act
uall
yhehasbeensust ai
ninginj
uriesforqui
te
sometimenow.Hi sbodyisahighrisk.His
physi
ciansaidhemuststopdancing.”

Me:“
ifadoct
orsay
shemustst
opthenheshoul
d
st
opandleav
ethedanci
ngt
ohi
sdancer
s.”
Manager
:“y
oushoul
dencour
agehi
m.”Ismi
l
e.
Theni ghtpr
oceedswel landatabout3am wehead
backt othehotel
.Wel l
Itakeashowerandgot obed.
Ihearmoansandgr oans.Dannyreal
lyi
sgetti
nglai
d
tonight.I
fIwasstil
ltheoldFuthy,
I’
dberidi
nga
stranger’
sdickri
ghtnow.Dakal ot
hankyou.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER44

Thefoll
owingmorni
ngIwakeupr oundabout9am.
Theweddingstar
tsat12pm soIam gl
adIstil
lhave
ti
me.Iwearmygownandgot oDanny’sdoor
.I
bargeinandfi
ndhim al
lcuddl
edupwithAfri
ka.They
seem awakeandchatti
ng.

Danny
:“knocknextt
ime.
”
Me:“whatev
er.Iwannaremindyouaboutt
he
wedding.Weshouldn’
tbelat
e.”

Danny:“
Iam hav
ingabreakfastdatewithAf
eeathi
s
sui
te.Af
tert
hatthenIwi
llbeallyours.
”
Me:
“don’
ttakel
ong.
”
Danny:“
comeonbabe.Iwantust ohavethat
dramati
cent r
ancewhenthepastorsays‘
anyone
whodoesn’twantthesetwotobejoinedinholy
matri
mony ,speaknoworfor
everholdyourpeace’
.
That’
swhenwewi l
lent
erandmakeourwayt othe
fr
ontrow.”BothAfri
kaandIl
augh.
Af
ri
ka:
“babet
hatwi
l
lpr
obabl
yangert
hebr
ide.
”

Danny
:“whocar
es?
”Ij
ustl
aughshaki
ngmyhead.
Me:“don’tbel
ate.
”Iheadbacktomyr oom.Ifi
ndthe
bedalr
eadymadeandt hehousekeepervacuuming
thef
loor.“Mor
ning.
”

Her
:“Mor
ningma’
am.Iwi
l
lbedoneher
einaf
ew.
”
Me:
“takey
ourt
ime.Iam j
ustgoi
ngt
oshower
.”
.
.
Ist
ylemyhairfi
rst
,makingitcur
ly.Ithendomy
make-up.WhenIam done,Igetdressedinmy
Tshwananavypeplum boobt ubet opandwhi te
mermaidskir
t.Ipai
ritwithnav ybl ockheelsand
navyMichaelKorspurse.Iputmywal l
eti
nt hepurse.
Idon’
tevenknowwhyIhav eit.It’
sahabitIguess.A
fewminutesl
aterDannyget si nlookingvery
handsome.Hei swearinganav yTshwanashi rtand
whit
epantswi t
hnavypoi nttoel ace-upfr
ontdress
shoes.

Me:“
peopl
ear
egoingt
ojumpi
ntoconcl
usi
on
t
oday.
”Hesmi
les.
Danny
:“l
ett
hem.
”hedy
edhi
shai
rbl
uebl
ack.

Me:
“youl
ookv
eryhandsomef
ri
end.
”
Danny
:“y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ulBl
ue.
”
Me:
“let
’sgo.
”Wewearourshadesandweheadout
.
.
.
Past
or:
“Doy
ouMal
i
bongweNcubet
akeKgomot
so
Mabasotobey ourlawful
lyweddedwife,
insickness
andi
nhealt
h,forbet t
erorforworse,
forr
icherorfor
poor
,ti
l
ldeat
hdoy oupart?”
Mal
i
:“Ido.
”

Pastor
:“Doy ouKgomot soMabasot akeMal
ibongwe
Ncubetobey ourl
awful
lyweddedhusband,in
si
cknessandi nhealt
h,forbet
terorforwor
se,for
ri
cherorforpoor,t
il
ldeathdoy oupart?
”
K:
“Ido.
”

Pastor:
“ift
hereisany
onewhohav ereasonsto
bel
ievethatthi
sbeauti
ful
coupl
eshouldn’tbej
oined
i
nhol ymatri
mony ,
speaknoworforeverholdy
our
peace.”

Act
ual
lyDannyst
oppedmef rom maki
ngmywayi n.
hesai
dhewaswai t
ingforthi
sexactmoment.Yoh
hei
smor edr
amaticthanLindsay.Any
wayswe
makeourwayinandallheadsturntoourway
.Ifi
x
myeyesonKandt ear
sstream downhercheeks
whensheseesme.Shemout hsan‘Il
oveyou’.I
smil
eandwhisperi
tback.Wemakeourwayt othe
fr
ontandsi
tonthevacantchai
rs.

Past
or:
“whatashowst
oppi
ngmoment
!”ev
ery
one
l
aughs.

Thepastorconti
nueswiththecer
emonyandi
t
fi
nal
lycomest oanend.Thecouplegot
otake
pi
ctureswhil
emyf ri
endsrushtomeandbombar
d
mewi thhugs.ThobekaandMabuthoal
socometo
hugme.

Lee:
“youbackf
orgood?
”
Me: “
nobutImi
ghtbecomi
ngbacksoonert
han
expected.
”
Zah:
“youhavetobecauset
her
ei sthi
scer
tai
ncli
ent
whowantstomeetwithyoudi
rectl
yandnotany
one
el
se.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“rel
ax.
”Dannynudgesmeont
heel
bow.
Danny
:“Bluear
en’tyougoingt
oint
roduceme?
”
Nomaraiseshereyebrows.
Noma:
“Bl
ue?
”

Danny :
“hidar
li
ng,t
henamei sDanielbutifyou
wannabeonmygoodbooksy oucancall
meDanny .
Iam Blue’
sfri
end.WellIam t
heonlyonewhocal l
herbluebecauseofherhair
.Itwaseit
hert hator
weir
dey esbutIfi
guredweir
dey eswouldbet oo
off
ensive.
”Heextendshishandt oNomaandshe
shakesit.

Me:“guy
sthisisDannymyf ri
endf r
om whereIcame
fr
om.”Theylaugh.“
AndDannyt hisisNomaandLee,
mybestfri
ends;Xoli
andZah, myPAs; Mbusoand
Phumudzo,thei
rpart
ners;Mabutho,Thobekaand
Zamoh,mybody guards.
”

Danny
:“y
ouhav
eper
sonal
body
guar
ds?Damny
ou
mustbeMi
chel
l
eObamaorsomet
hing.
”Ij
ustl
augh.
Me:“let
’sheadtot
herecept
ion.Iam hungr
y.Idi
dn’
t
eatanythi
ngforbr
eakf
ast.
”

Weheadt otherecept
ionhallandthedécoris
amazing.Weheadt oourtabl
eandsi tdown.
Immediatel
yaft
erwesi t
,star
tersareserv
ed.Whi
le
eat
ing,Kuhl
emakeshi swayinf ol
lowedbySbo.I
l
ookatMbusoandPhumudzo.

Me:“
pleasedon’
ttel
lmey
oui
nfor
medhi
m aboutmy
r
etur
n.”
Mbuso:“
heknewaboutyourret
urnassoonasy
ou
l
andedatKi
ngShaka.
”Isighshaki
ngmyhead.

Danny
:“ar
en’
tthoset
heZul
upr
inces?
”
Sbo:
“int
hef
lash.
”Ir
oll
myey
es.

Kuhl
e:“
eveni
ngev
ery
one.Youal
ll
ookbeaut
if
ult
his
af
ter
noon.
”
Danny:“i
shetalki
ngtous?Areweseri
ousl
ygett
ing
recogni
zedbyroyalt
y?”hewhi
sper
sloudl
yfort
hem
tohear.Kuhl
eandSbochuckle.

Kuhl
e:“
youl
ookasbeaut
if
ulasal
way
sMaCel
e.”
Danny
:“hol
yfuck,heknowsyou.OMG!Isowanna
beyouri
ghtnow.”Hesaysfanni
nghi
mself.We
l
augh.

Kuhl
e:“
canIst
eal
herf
oraf
ew?
”
Danny:“youcanevenbri
ngherbacktomorrowin
ti
mef orherfl
ighty
ourhi
ghness.
”Kuhlechuckl
es
andlooksatme.Ihuffandstandup.

Me:“fol
lowme.
”Iheadout
sideandhefol
lowsme
ther
e.WemeetKandMal i
astheyareaboutt
oent
er.
Shefrowns.
K:
“pl
easedon’
ttel
lmey
ouar
eleav
ing.
”
Me: “
nohoneyIam not.Youl
ookreal
l
ybeaut
if
ul
today.Li
keagoddess.AndMali
youalsol
ook
handsome.”Ihugt
hem both.
Mali
:“nev
erthoughtI
’dl
i
vet
oseethedayt
hemi
ght
y
Fut
hycomplement sme.
”wel
augh.

Me:“evenify
ouwereugl
y,Iwould’
vecomplement
ed
youbecauseit
’sy
ourbi
gday.”Theybothl
augh.
Mali
:“hol
yfuck,
it’
sthepr
ince.
”Hesayslooki
ngat
Kuhl
e.Kuhleext
endshishandforashake.

Kuhl
e:“congr
atul
ati
onsony ourmar
ri
ageandIam
sor
ryforcominguninv
ited.
”
Mali
:“owwnoyouar
emor et
hanwel
comemypr i
nce.
I
’devengi
veyoumyplat
eofthef
oodhasf
ini
shed.
”I
j
ustl
augh.

Me:“wewill
seey
ouguysi
nsi
de.”Ipul
lKuhl
e
out
side.“
Sowhat
’sup?
”hesmil
es.
Kuhl
e:“
youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
”Ir
oll
myey
es.
Me:“t
hankyouf
orr
espect
ingmywi
shesandnot
f
oll
owme. ”

Kuhl
e:“Il
oveyouenought
orespectyou.Ar
eyou
backforgood?
”Ishakemyhead.“Whenareyou
comingback?”
Me:
“that
’snoneofy
ourbusi
nessKuhl
e.”Hesmi
l
es.
Kuhl
e:“
youst
il
ldon’
twantme?
”

Me:“Icamefortheweddi
ngKuhl
enoty
ou.Canwe
notdotheheavytal
k?”
Kuhl
e:“
soy
ouar
eact
ual
l
yconsi
der
ingi
t?”
Me:“argyouaresoannoy i
ng.”Hesmi
les.“Youknow
what,Iam outofher
e.”Iheadbacki
nside.He
l
aughsbeforefoll
owingme.
.
Me:“
Iwasn’
texpecti
ngthi
s.”Ki
ncludedmei
nthe
pr
ogr
am.Idon’tevenknowwhattosay.“
Iam v
ery
happyf oryouK.y ouhav ebeenagr eatempl oyee
andaf riendtome.Youar elit
eral
lymyhumandi ary.
Ifsomeonewant edtoknowmysecr et
s, t
hey’dhave
tokidnapy ou.
”Theyal llaugh.“Youar ear eall
ygreat
personandIl ovey ourpersonali
ty.Ihaveagi f
tfor
you.”Itakeoutasmal lboxfrom mypur se.“Iam
orderi
ngy outoopeni twheny oucomebackf rom
yourhoney moon.”

K:
“butwhygi
vei
ttomenow?
”sheshout
s.Il
augh.
Me: “i
t’
scall
edbekezel
i
ng.”Shelaughsandt akest
he
box.“Iwishyoual
lthebestbabeandMal iIam
expecti
ngnephewsandni ecesver
ysoon.”He
smiles.

Mal
i
:“Iwon’
tdi
sappoi
nt.
”
Me:“t
hat’
sal
lfr
om me.Thanky
ouandIl
ovey
ou
guy
s.”Igi
vet
hemictotheMCandheadtomyseat
.
Danny
:“cant
hespeechesendal
ready
?Iwannaget
downandmybaeisstil
lher
e.Hewantst
ocome.”
Me:
“youguy
sar
eal
readyof
fi
cial
?”
Danny
:“y
es.
”Hebl
ushes.
Me:“y
ouluckyf
ish.Yoursexgameisonanot
her
l
evelf
orhi
mt ocommi twit
hin24hour
sofyoutwo
knowi
ngeachother.
”
Danny:
“ist
ovesiku6mtase.
”Ilaugh.Godwhydi
d
youhavetogiv
emecr azyfr
iends?
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER45

Ilef
tDur banearl
ierthenextmor ningbecauseIdidn’t
wantt oseemyf riends.Surelythewoul d’
vebegged
met ohav elunchoraf ewdr inkswi tht
hem.Iknow
howt heyare.Theyal sosleptatt hehotelbecause
theywant edtohav ebreakfastwi thme,butIran
away .WhenwecamebackDannywassul king
becausehehadt oleaveAf ri
kabuthesai dwhenhe
getsoutofWomal enahei sgoi ngt ost
artbyv i
sit
ing
him beforegoingbackhome.

TodayisWednesdayandIam hav i
ngasessi onwith
Dakalo.Ipr
epareformysessionandt henheadt o
heroffi
ce.Ifi
ndhersi
tti
ngandchat ti
ngwi tha
youngerversi
onofhersel
f.Ij
ustfigur
et hatthi
sis
herdaughter,
theonewhodesi gnedherof fi
ce.
Dakalo:
“Fut
hymeetmydaught
erLuf
unoandLuf
uno
thi
sis…”
Lufuno:“MissNt ombifut
hiCele,
thef
ounderand
CEOofDubandl elaConstr
ucti
onCompany.Shehas
fewoft hebestinteri
ordesi
gnersint
hecountry
workingforher.Whodoesn’ tknowhermom? ”I
l
augh.

Me:
“goodt
oknowIhav
eaf
an.
”
Lufuno:
“owwIam notyourf
an,
rat
heryouradmi
rer
becauseyouar
emyr ol
emodel.
”Ismil
e.

Me:
“thanky
ou.
”
Lufuno:“
not
hankyouf
orwor
kinghardandprov
ing
thatwomencanal
soownmult
i-bi
l
li
onai
re
companiesl
i
keDCCandbesuccessf
ulwit
houtany
helpfr
om aman.
”

Me:
“agai
nthankyou.Didyourmothert
ell
youabout
t
heoff
erImade?”sheturnstohermother
.
Luf
uno:
“whatof
fermot
her
?”

Dakalo:“
wewil
l t
alkaf
termysessionwithFuthy.
Rightnowgomakey oursel
fbusywithsomething
el
se.”Shehuf
fsandheadsout .“
Kids.
”Sheshakes
herheadandIlaugh.
.
.
It
’sFri
daynightandt helastweekendIam spendi ng
withDannyinLimpopo.Wear eplanningonmaki ng
i
twor t
hi t
.Wegetr eadyf oranightoutinRumour s
NightClubwhichissi t
uatedinLoui sTri
chardtalso
knownasMakhado.Ihav enev erbeentherebut
Dannysay si
t’
sani cespot .Patient
satWomal ena
mostlygooutclubbingort ospasorshoppi ngor
sometimesmov ies.

Igetdressedinablackri
b-kni
tbodycondressand
blackopent oel
egchunkyheels.BythewayDanny
hasdescribedthi
splace,
it’
shighclasssother
eis
noneedt obedressedal
lghettoandwhatnot.It
ie
myhai rinaneatbunanddof inalt
ouchupsonmy
make- up.Ipackmywal l
eti
nmysl ingbagandhead
outmeet ingDannyonthehall
waywhoi swear
ing
skinnyjeanswithapinkti
ghtshir
twi t
hit
s3fir
st
buttonsopenedandnudeboot swhi chmatchwit
h
hispurse.

Me:
“damngi
rl
.Al
ley
eswi
l
lbeony
out
oni
ght
.”
Danny:“
youbety ourf
atasstheywil
lbe.Buty
ou
alsol
ooksexylove.Whoknows, maybeyoucanget
oneofthoseVendagiftedmentorel
easethesexual
tensi
on.
”Ilaugh
Me:“
you’
recr
azyandthi
sist
henewFut
hywhosay
s
not
oonenightst
ands.
”
Danny:“Iam j
ustsay i
nglove.
”canyoubelievethat
Afr
ikaactuall
ywr otealet
terf
orhim.Hewentcr azy
whenher eceiveditonWednesdayandy ester
daya
bunchoff l
ower sandboxofchocolateswas
del
iver
edf orhi
m.WhatIcansayi st hatl
oveisinthe
ai
r.
.
.
Wegett othecl
ubandheadtotheVI Psect i
on.What
canIsay?Iam sousedtotheVIPsection.Not
becauseIam ri
ch,
nothat’
snotit
.Iknowt hatthe
VIPsecti
onneverr
unsoutoftablesnomat terhow
ful
lthecl
ubis.Await
ercomestoourt able.

Wait
er:“ev
eni
ng.Thenamei sFhul
u.WhatcanIget
youladi
esthi
sev eni
ng?”Dannysmileswhenthe
wait
eracknowledgesthatheisact
uall
yalady
.
Me:“
atwelvepackofFl
yi
ngFi
sh,
pressedl
emon.
”I
l
ookatDanny.

Danny
:“andat
wel
vepackofSav
annadr
y.”
Me:
“youwannagetdr
unkneh?
”

Danny
:“i
t’
smyl astni
ghtatLi
mpopo,
let
’smakei
t
memorabl
e.”Il
augh.
Me:“pl
easeadd2bott
lesofHennessyanda6pack
ofRedbul
l.
”Thewai
ternodsandwrit
edownwhat
wearesayi
ng.

Danny
:“canweal
sogethubbl
y?
Waiter
:“ofcour
se.Isther
eanythi
ngel
se?”weshake
ourheads.Heleaves.Dannyl
i
ckshisl
ips.

Danny
:“t
hat
’ssomef
ineassr
ightt
her
e.”Il
augh.
Me:
“hi
sassi
sdef
ini
tel
yfi
rm.
”Heal
sol
aughs.
.
.
Fewhourslaterwearekakdr unk,si
ngi
ngand
danci
nglikenobody
.Asdr unkaswear e,wearej ust
enj
oyingeachother
’scompany .Therehavebeen
gentl
emenwhohav ebeenwant i
ngtojoi
nusorbuy
dri
nksforus,butwedenytheiroffer
s.Theti
mei s
4:
30butweknowwear enotl eavi
nguntil
wef i
nish
ourdri
nks.Ontopofthat24packwebought ,
we
addedanother24andtheot herbott
leofHennessy
wehav
en’
topenedi
tyet
.

Danny:
“babes,
peopl
earel
eav
ing,
let
’sbuyi
ceand
gett
hebil
landalsol
eav
e.”
Me:
“whoi
sset
tl
ingt
hebi
l
l?”

Danny:“it
’sonme. ”hebuystheice,
set
tl
et hebi
ll
thenwet akeouralcoholandheadtomycar .We
l
oaditont hecoolerboxandt henhedr
ivesout.
“Ther
ei sthi
sparksomewher eherewherewecan
j
ustdrinkandwatcht hesunrise.
”
Me:
“goodi
dea.Dr
ivet
her
e.”

Hedr i
vesthereandparkt hecar
.Wet aket
hecooler
boxandpl aceiti
nfrontofthecar.Wealsotakeout
campchai rsandplacethem nearthecool
erbox.We
takeoffourshoesandl ockthem i
nthecar.Wego
sitandwat cht
hesunr i
sewi t
hdrinksonourhands.
Me:
“wher
edoy
ouseey
our
sel
finf
ivey
ear
s?”
Danny :
“ mar
ri
edwi t
hkids.”Webot hlaugh.“Just
j
oking.Iwannahav epracticesaroundt hecount r
y,
notjustonewhereIam basedat .Beingy ourfri
end
hasmademewantmor e.Youi nspi
reme.Youar ea
goaldrivenwomanandIj ustwannabel i
key ou.I
knowwhatmanypeopl ehav enocluewhat
endocrinol
ogyis,
that’
swhyIwannahav esemi nars
i
nhighschool snextyearwher eIwi l
lgoexpl ai
nwhat
i
tisandwhyi tisimportant.”

Me: “wowt hat’

sdeepandIam v eryhappyt hatI
havet hatkindofi nfluenceony ou.That’sthe
footprintIalway swannal eaveonpeopl e.That‘ Isee
you,Iseey oursuccess, Iseeyour eachi
ngy our
goals,Iwannabej ustli
key ou,
Ialsowannabet ter
my selfjustli
key ouandnotwai tforhandout s’.Ihate
peoplewhobel ike‘sheissuccessf ulwara-war abut
l
ookatherext endedf amilyorfri
endsstruggl i
ng.I
wannabear olemodel notamot herTher esawho
peoplet hinkwi l
lgivethem handout stobetter
themsel ves.”
Danny :“you’reright.Whenaper sonr eceivesa
handout ,theydon’ twor khard.Andpeopl earound
yousomet imesf eelli
ketheyar eentit
ledt oyour
success.Ihav ecousi nsli
ket hat.MinawhenIwas
chasedoutoft hev il
l
agewi thmyf amily,
Ibui l
ta
housef ort hem, boughtcar sfort hem andst art
edup
ar estaur
antf ort hem.Myf amilybacki nthev i
ll
age
startedcallingaski ngforfavoursandshi tbutnone
oft hem didnot hingwhenmypar ent
swer echased
outoft hev ill
ageatni ght.
”
Me:“Igetyoubutwhyar ewehav
ingsuchadeep
conv
ersati
on?”helaughs.
Danny:“
Idon’
tknow.Iguessalcohol
someti
mes
makesyouthi
nkofallt
het hi
ngsyouhavebeen
thr
ough.
”
Me:
“tr
uet
hat
.”
CHAPTER46

Af ewhoursl
aterwear epul l
ingupatCov anoLodge.
Wel l
weareonlygoi ngtohav ebreakfasthereand
thenheadbacktot heretr
eat.Wepar kt hecarand
getoffcar
ryi
ngourwal let
sandbar ef
oot .Dannyhas
beenherebeforesohel eadsmet othedi ni
ngarea.
Aswegeti nthere,
thehost essstopsus.

Hostess:“
goodmor ningma’am andsi
r.
Unfort
unatel
yIcan’tl
ety oui
nbecauseyouareboth
dr
essedinappropri
ately
.”Welookateachotherand
l
ookatherf r
owning.
Danny
:“whatthefuckdoyoumeani
fyouar
esay
ing
wearedressedi
nappropr
iat
ely
?”
Me: “
Ithi
nksheishomophobic.
”Isaylookingat
Danny.Iusedtodothi
sinhighschool.I
nterpr
et
someone’sstat
ementwronglyj
usttocausehav oc.
RightnowDannylooksl
ikeheisreadytoripthi
s
womanapar t.
Danny
:“wejustwannadi
neandl
eav
eyouandy
our
homophobi
cass.”

Host
ess:
“li
sten,
Ican’
tlety
oui
n…”
Me:“
heywewantt
oeatbr
eakf
astonl
ythenwewi
l
l
beonourway
.”

Hostess: “
pleaseleavewi
ll
ingl
ybeforeIcal
l
securit
y.”Ididn’
twanttousethiscardIam aboutt
o
user i
ghtnowbutt hi
swomani sgett
ingonmy
nerves.

Me:“
womanl i
stenhere,
myf r
iendandIcanbuythi
s
l
odgeofyour
sandy ouiniti
nasecond.Don’tmake
usgi
veyouabadr evi
ew.Wehav ebeendri
nkingal
l
nightsowearehungry.Wejustwannaeatandleav
e
yoh.”shel
ooksbehindmewi t
hhereyesandmout h
wideopen.It
urnandInearlyfai
ntwhenIseethe
ki
ngandt hepri
nceslooki
ngatus.

Danny
:“OMG!
”hesay
slooki
ngatt
hem.
Me:“hol
yfucki
t’
sKuhl
e’
sfat
her.
”Isayinawhisper
butwhenIseehi
m smi
li
ngIknowthathehear
dme.

Si
mingezwi:
“sorr
ymi ss.
”Hesayslooki
ngatthe
host
ess.“
Prepareatablefor7ASAP,youdon’
t
wannakeeproyal
tywaiti
ng.”
Host
ess:
“ri
ghtaway.
”Shepracti
cal
lyr
unsof
f.Now
wearest
andingawkwar
dlyi
nf r
ontoft
heZul
uroyal
s
l
ooki
ngli
kesavages.

Me: “
fri
endweshouldleav
e.Wewi
l
lbutper
i-
per
i
gr
il
ledchickenf
rom Nandos.
”
Danny
:“y
eahandaddabucketofhotwi
ngs.
”
Me: “
yeahthatsoundslikeaplan.
”Wear e
whisper
ingtoourselvesbuttheycanhearus
becausetheyarelaughing.
Ki
ng:
“MaCel
e.”Dannyscr
eamsandInear
lyf
aint
.

Me:“y
ourmajest
y,yourhi
ghness,
yourgr
ace.
”
Kuhl
e’
sbrot
hersjustl
augh.
Ki
ng:
“joi
nusf
orbr
eakf
astandt
hat
’sanor
der
.”

Danny : “
Wewer en’tpl
anni
ngondef yi
ngy ouyour
maj esty.”Il
aughathowhei stal
king,hi
spacei sso
fast.Thehost esscomesbackandusher st
hem to
theirtable,wefollowlikel
ostpuppies.Theotherssi
t
down, Nqabaopensachai rf
ormeandIsmi l
et hen
sitdown.Heal sosi t
sdown.

Mkhul
uli
:“Iseey
ouwantbhutit
okil
lyouneh?
”he
say
seyeingNqabawhojustl
aughsshaki
nghishead.
Thewai
tercomestotakeouror
der.
Si
mingezwi
:“wewoul
dli
ket
wof
ull
andhotgr
il
led
chi
ckenswi
thr
oll
sandchi
psanda2l
coke.
”

Mkhul
uli
:“woul
dyoul
i
ket
oaddsomet
hingsi
si?
”he
asksl
ooki
ngatme.
Me:
“ahotf
ull
chi
ckenont
hego.
”
Danny
:“and900gchi
l
iri
bswi
thBuf
fal
owi
ngs.
”

Me:
“anda2l
Liqui
frui
t,br
eakf
astpunchf
lav
our
.”
Wait
er:
“wi
l
lthatbeal
l
?”Iwannakeepqui
etbutIj
ust
f
ail
.
Me:“ Iwoul
dalsoli
keyourhostesst
ocomeand
apologizef
orchasi
ngusawaywhenwecanaf for
d
tobuyorbringthi
splacedown.”Thewaitercl
ears
thei
rt hr
oat
.“Iam j
ustki
ddi
ng.”Sherushesaway .

Nqaba:
“act
ual
l
ysheshoul
dcomeandapol
ogi
ze.
”
Me:“nahIdon’
tneedafakeapol
ogy.Wi
thorwithout
i
tli
fegoesonbutIhat
et hef
actt
hatshelooked
downuponusandsawt hatwewerenotworthyof
di
ningher
e.”
King:“
howar eyouMaCel e?”Icl
earmyt hr
oat
.Konj
e
Iam dini
ngwithawhol eking.I
tisscar
yshamebutI
j
ustbreatheoutloud.

Me:
“Iam okaymyki
ng.
”
Ki
ng:
“whenar
eweseei
ngy
ouatt
hepal
ace?
”
Me:“
asawhat?Kuhle’
sbusi
nessassoci
ateor
f
ri
end?”hel
aughs.
Ki
ng:
“nei
therbutIam goi
ngt
oleti
tgof
ornow.
”

Thefoodcomesear l
ierthanIt hought.Westart
eati
ngandt hehotmeatishi t
tingthatspot
,thatspot
guys.ThefoodisverygreatbutIam notgoingt o
postarevi
ewaboutt hi
spl acebecauseoftheway
DannyandIwer etr
eatedear l
ier.

Mkhul
uli
:“whatbr
ingsy
out
oLi
mpoposi
si?
”
Me:
“ment
alr
elat
edi
ssues.
”
Nqaba:“
wearesosor
ryf
orbei
ngr
udet
oyourf
ri
end.
What’
syourname?
”
Danny
:“Dani
el.
”

Nqaba:
“whatdoy
oudo?
”
Danny
:“Iam anendocr
inol
ogi
st.
”
Si
mingezwi
:“endi
what
?”
Nqaba:
“saynomore.
”Weal
ll
augh.Ipourt
hej
uice
i
ntheglassandsi
p.

Me:
“whatt
hef
uck?
”Icough.
Danny
:“whati
sitbl
ue?
”
Me:“t
hereissomethi
nginthisj
uice.
”Hetakesi
tand
pour
sitonthefl
oor.Fi
reantscomeoutandI
scr
eam andstar
tgagging.“
Ithi
nkIswall
owed
some.”Dannyst
andsup.

Danny
:“weneedt
orushy
out
othehospi
tal
.”Aman
i
nanav
ysui
tmakeswayt
oourt
abl
e.
Man:
“myqueendrinkthi
s.I
twi
ll
hel
pyou.
”Hehands
measmal
lbott
le.Ishakemyhead.

Me:
“Idon’
tknowwhot
hefuckyouandIai
n’
tabout
t
odri
nksomethi
ngwhi
chIdon’
tknow.
”
Ki
ng:
“pl
easedr
inkMaCel
e.I
twi
l
lhel
pyou.
”
Me:
“whoi
sthi
sman?
”

Mkhul
uli
:“ourr
oyalheal
er.Pl
easedr
inksi
sibef
ore
morehar
m happens.”
Me: “
ifsomethi
nghappenstomebecauseofthi
s,
youaregoingtoregr
etthedayy
ourancest
ors
broughtyoutothi
sworl
d.”

HelaughsandItakethebott
le.Hehandst heice
buckett
oDanny.Idrinkt
hepot i
onandaf ew
secondslat
erIf
eel t
heurgetothrowup.Irunt ot
he
rest
room andIr
eleaseever
ythi
ngt hemi
nut eIgetto
thet
oil
et.Ifeel
myheadspi nni
ngandIgetdi
zzy
.I
fl
ushandt hengetoutoft
hestall
.Iwashmymouth
andsli
ddownont hecol
dtil
es.

Danny
:“BLUE!
”heshout
sfr
om out
sidet
her
est
room.
Me:“y
eahj
ustaminut
e.”Iwhi
sper
.Myheadkeeps
spi
nni
nganddownIgo,andhaveabl
ackout
.
.
.
Iopenmyey esandwhenIlookaroundIcanseethat
Iam i
nsomeki ndofahospit
al.WhenIlookt
omy
ri
ghtIseeAluwhoistypi
ngsomethingontheiPad.
WhenIlooktomyl ef
tIseeDannylooki
ngposh.I
cl
earmyt hr
oatandtheybot
hlookatme.

Me: “
pleasedon’
ttel
lmeIam i
nahospi
tal
.”They
chuckle.
Alu:“
youar
eint
hesi
ckr
oom oft
her
esor
t.
”Isi
ghi
n
rel
ief
.
Me:
“that
’sbet
ter
.Howdi
dIgether
ethough?
”

Al
u:“
youwer
ebr
oughtbackbyt
heZul
uroy
als.
”
Me:
“whatr
eal
l
yhappenedbackt
her
e?”
Danny:“
thathostessputt
hosef
ireant
sinourjui
ce
butdon’
tworry,sheisj
obl
essri
ghtnow,t
ogether
wit
hthewaiter.
”

Me:
“butwhyt
hough?
”
Danny:“
wehumili
atedher
,thatwasherexpl
anat
ion
whereasshei
stheonewhohumi li
atedus.
”

Me:
“whatdayi
sit
?”
Danny:“Sunday.Youhav
ebeenasl
eepsi
nce
yest
erday.”Il
ookathim.
Me:
“whi
chmeansy
ouar
eleav
ingt
oday
.”Hesi
ghs.

Danny
:“y
esbutourf
ri
endshi
pisn’
tgoi
ngt
oend
her
e.”hetakesoutabusi
nesscar
d.“
Cal
lmewhen
youareout.
”Ismil
e.
Me:
“Iam goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou.
”

Danny:“
notasmuchasIam goi ngt oMi ssYou.
”He
hugsmeandki ssesmyf or
ehead.“Pleasesavea
seatf
ormeonPr i
nce’
sjetwheny ouar egoingt
o
Li
bya.
”Ilaugh.Andtakethebusinesscar d.
Me:
“Il
ovey
ou.
”Hesmi
l
es.

Danny:“
Ilov
eyoutooBlue.
”Heplant
saki
ssonmy
hand.“
ByeAlubabes.
”shesmil
es.
Al
u:“
byeDanny
.”Heheadsout
.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
SPONSOREDCHAPTER
CHAPTER47

*
**LEE*
**

Iam dri
vi
ngf r
om workwithmyguar ds.WellGi
ftis
theonewhoi sdr
ivi
ng.Iam sotir
ed.Ijustwannaget
homeandhav ewineinabubblebat h.ImissFuthy
somuchbutIam happyt hatsheisget t
ingt
hehelp
thatsheneedsandIknowwhenshecomesback,
sheisgoingtobesomuchbet ter.

Gif
tcursesunderhisbreat
handIlookupt oseea
fr
ustr
atedlookonhisfaceinthemirror
.Babal
wa
nextt
ohi misprepari
ngherguns.Iknowthat
somethingiswrong.
Me:
“guy
swhati
sgoi
ngon?
”
Babalwa:“t
hereisacarfol
lowingusandi
tisthatof
yourexMissNkosi.”Ist
arttopani
c.Ir
eal
l
yt hought
thathehadforgott
enaboutme.Iguesspsychos
neverfor
get.

Me:
“whatcanIdo?
”
Gi
ft
:“cal
lthecops.Wewi l
ldealwit
hhim buti
nfor
m
t
hem sothati
twillbeeasytolockhim up.
”

Icallthecopsandt ellthem mycur r

entsit
uationand
tel
lthem mycur rentlocati
on.Iscream outloud
whenIheargunshot s.Inowr eal
izethatheis
actuallyshooti
ngthecarwear ein.theoff
iceront he
l
ineaskswhati sgoingonandIupdat eher.Shet ell
s
met hathelpsisont hewayandt hatIshouldn’tstop
dri
vingandImust n’
thangupsot hattheycan
continuetracki
ngmyl ocat
ion.

Me:
“Gi
ftdon’
tst
opdr
ivi
ng.
”
Gi
ft
:“Iwasn’
tpl
anni
ngoni
t.
”
Babalwa:“i
tlookslikeheisnotal
one.Ther
ear
e3
otherpeopl
ei nthatcar.
”

Me:
“whyhasn’
tthegl
assshat
ter
ed?
”
Babalwa:“wehav ehadthewi ndowsbull
etproofed
boss.”Inod.Thedetecti
vewhoIam t al
kingwi t
h
overthephonei sDetect
iveAlungi
leNkositell
sme
thatsheis5mi nutesawayfrom ourl
ocation.

Me:
“thepol
i
cear
efi
vemi
nut
esawayf
rom her
e.”
Gif
t:“wear
egoingtost
opatt heintersect
ionwhich
i
sthreeminut
esawayfrom here.Wear ej
ustgoing
tostayi
nsi
dethecarsi
nceit’
sbulletproof
ed.”Inod
agai
n.

Babalwa:“rel
axboss.Nothi
ngisgoi
ngt
ohappent
o
you.”Gi
ftcontinuesdr
ivi
ngandaft
erawhi
l
eIhear
ti
resscreechi
ng.
Gift:
“fuck,theyareaimi ngatt hetires.”Myheart
skipsabeat .Foramanwhowant sme, hei
sacting
stupidbecausehi sact i
onsmi ghtkillme.Wehear
sir
ensandIr el
axabi t.Giftstopst hecaratthe
i
ntersection.Athi
’scardr i
v espastusandt hepolice
foll
owhi m.Ihangupandsi gh.Gif
tget soutofthe
cartoinspectt heti
res.Babal waf ollowshim.

Me:
“isev
ery
thi
ngokay
?”Iaskget
ti
ngoutoft
hecar
.
Babal
wa:
“al
lthet
ir
esar
edamaged.
”Isi
gh.
Me:“l
etmecall
Mabuthosothathecanhel
pus.
”
Gi
ftnodsandopenst
hecarboot.It
hencal
l
Mabutho.

Mabut
ho:
“MaNkosi
.”
Me:
“ar
eyoubusy
?”
Mabutho:
“Icannev
erbebusyf
ory
ou.Whatdoy
ou
need?
”
Me: “
ti
res.Wewer eunderat tack.Athi
shotmycar.
Lucki
lyiti
sbull
etproofedsot heonlythingthat
suff
eredwerethetires.”Ihearsoundsf rom t
he
background,
soundsl i
kehei smov i
ng.
Mabut
ho:
“ar
eyouokay
?Wher
ear
eyou?
”

Me:“
Iam fi
ne.Iam goi
ngt
osendy
oumyl
ocat
ion.
”
Hebreat
hesoutloud.
Mabutho:
“Iwi
l
lgett
her
eassoonasIcan.
”He
hangsup.

Me: “
hei scoming.
”Isayturni
ngtomyguards.Gi
ft
hasalreadytakenoutoneti
re.Myphoneri
ngsandI
frownwhenIseeanof f
icenumber.It
henansweri
t.
“DoctorNkosihell
o.”
Caller
:“Doct
orNkosit
hisi
sDetect
iveNkosi.We
havecaughtthepeopl
ewhower echasi
ngy ou.We
aregoingtoneedyoutocometothestati
onsot hat
youcanmakeast atementandtel
luswhatexactlyi
s
goingon?”
Me:
“okaydet
ect
ive.Whi
chst
ati
onshoul
dIgot
o?”
Cal
l
er:
“Gr
eyv
il
lepol
i
cest
ati
on.
”

Me: “
okay ,Iwill
bethereassoonasIcan.”She
hangsup.Mi nutesl
aterMabuthoarr
iveswher
ewe
areat.Hei swi t
hZamoh.Her ushestomeandhugs
me.Het henbreaksthehugandchecksmeout .I
chuckle.“Whatar eyoudoi
ng?”

Mabut
ho:
“Iam checki
ngt
oseei
fyou’
reokay
.”
Me:“Iam fi
ne.Cany ouborrowmey ourcar?Ineed
togettoGreyvil
l
estati
on.Detect
iveNkosi caught
Athiandhisfr
iends.
”Heopenshi smout handIcan
seethatheisabouttoprotest
.“Beforeyoupr ot
est
,
Babalwaistheonewhoi sgoingtodr i
vemet here.
”

Mabutho:“Iam goingwithyou.Therei
salsoafew
thi
ngsthatIneedtot el
lthedetect
ivewhi
chmight
hel
pherint hecase.”Isi
gh.
Me:
“what
ever
.Let
’sgo.
”It
akemybagf
rom mycar
andheadtoFut hy
’sFort
urner
.Babal
waand
Mabuthojoinsmeafterafewminutesandhedr
ives
ustothestati
on.
.
.
Wejustcameoutoft hest ati
onandIam madat
Mabutho.Iam madbecauseoft hethi
ngshehi d
fr
om me, aboutAthibreakingi nmyhouseand
l
eavingt hi
ngsinside.Idon’ tcarethathewas
prot
ectingmeorwhat everbutheshoul d’vetol
dme.
Heismaki ngmesomad.Ihav ejusttol
dhi mtodrop
meof fatNoma’ shouseandheshoul dleavewith
Babalwa.Theydr opmeof fandl eavesoonaf terI
makei tinsidet
hehouse.

Iunlockthehouseandheadt othekitchen.Itakeout
bottl
edwat erfr
om thefri
dgeanddrinkit.Ithen
scream Noma’ snamebecauset hehousei ssoquiet.
Ijogtoherr oom andfi
ndhercuddli
ngwi thherhuge
teddy.Ishakeherandshest i
rsandopenherey es.
Noma:
“di
dyouhav
etowakemeupt
hough?
”she
asksinfr
ust
rati
on.Ij
ustlaughandj
oinherinbed
aft
ertaki
ngoffmyheels.“Youl
ookhalfhappyand
halfmad.Whatisi
t?”Il
aughather.
Me:
“whatt
hef
ucki
shal
fhappyhal
fmad?
”

Noma: “
yourf
aci
alexpr
essi
onwhenIopenedmy
eyes.
”Il
aughagai
n.
Me:“you’r
ecrazy.Any
waysIam happyt
hatAt
hihas
beenarrest
ed.”Shesi
tsupst
rai
ght.

Noma:
“how?Whatdi
dhedo?
”
Me: “
hewasf ol
l
owi ngmycarandheshotmyt ir
es.I
wentt ot
hestat
iont opr
esschar
gesagainsthi
m.I
am madbecauset herei
ssomeev i
dencethati
s
goingtohel
pwiththecasebutMabuthohasbeen
keepingi
tfr
om me. ”

Noma:
“whatev
idence?
”
Me:
“hebr
okei
ntomyhouse,
lef
tnot
esandr
oses
andallthatr
omanti
ccreepyshitinthere.Mabut
ho
wentintomyhouse,hewasor deredbyFut hy
.He
foundthatandhedi
dn’tbot
hert otell
me. ”

Noma:
“may
behewaspr
otect
ingme.
”
Me:“f
rom what?Hewastreat
ingmeli
keaki
d.”I
huf
fandcuddlethebear
.Nomasmiles.

Noma:“t
heguylovesyou,soit
’sobvi
oust
hathewi
l
l
doanyt
hingtoprot
ectyou,phy
sical
l
yand
emoti
onall
y.
”Ifr
own.
Me:
“whatdoy
oumeanhel
ovesme?
”

Noma: “
forsomeonewhoisadoctor,
y ousur
ecan
bestupi
dsomet i
mes.Evenabli
ndpersoncansee
thatMabuthodoesnotonl
ylov
esyoubuthei si
n
l
ov ewit
hyou.”Isi
gh.
Me: “butIdon’
tthi
nkIam readyforaserious
relat
ionshi
p.NotthatIwannacontinuewiththeone
nightstandsbutIam notreadyemot i
onall
y.
”
Noma: “
Ihearyoubooandi fyouarenotr
eadydon’t
commi t
.Andalsodon’tsl
eepwithMabuthoifyou
arenotgoi
ngtogivehimy ourhear
tbecauseyouwil
l
bebreaki
nghisheart
.”
Me:
“okayt
ase.Whatabouty
ouandben10?
”

Noma: “ Ibrokethingsof
fwi t
hhi
m.Hedoesn’tknow
whathewant s.SurehefucksmegoodbutIam old
tase.Idon’ tneedahumansext oy.Ineedaman
whoi sgoi ngt oloveme.Heisst
il
laboy .Hei
sful
lof
shit
.”Ilaugh.
Me:“Iam sorr
ytase.Butyouaregoingtofi
ndthe
ri
ghtoneforyou.Fornowlet’
sgocook.Buty ouwill
dothecookingandIwilldothetal
ki
ng.”Shelaughs.

Noma:“
nowy
ouar
ebei
ngl
i
keFut
hy.
”Isi
ghand
st
andup.
Me:
“Imi
ssher
.”Isaywhi
l
ewear
ingsl
eeper
s.
Noma:
“Imi
sshert
oobutshei
singoodhandsand
shei
scomi
ngbacksoon.
”
Me:
“yah.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
SPONSOREDCHAPTER
CHAPTER48

Todayi smyl asttherapysessi onandmyl astnighti

s
myl astdayatWomal ena.Iam leavi
ngf i
rstthing
tomor r
owmor ning.Iam v erysadthatIam l eavi
ng
becauset hi
spl aceisasaf ehaven.Ihavedeci ded
thatIam goingt omakeahugedonat i
onwhenIam
backatDur ban.Ihav ebeenher efortwomont hs.

Iam prepari
ngf ormyl astsessi
on.Igetdressedi
na
blackdoublest r
apsurplicenecksli
promperand
brownsandal s.Ilockmysui t
eandheadt oDakalo’
s
offi
ce.Wehav ebeenv erycl
ose,wehav eevenwent
outfordinnertwice.Shei saveryopenwoman.
Ifoundmy sel
foff
eringLufunoi
nter nshipforthese
fewmont hsunti
lIopent heJHBbr anch.Iknowt hat
i
t’smycompanybutwhatIdi di
sunet hical
.But
what’sdoneisdone.Isitdownaftergr eeti
ngDakalo.
Sheopenshernot epadandstart
swr it
ingsomet hi
ng.

Dakal
o:“
sowhatarey
ougoi
ngt
odoabouty
our
thr
eeadmir
ers?
”Ismi
le.
Me:“Iam goi
ngtoapologi
zet
oalloft
hem for
l
eadingthem onandmakingt
hem bel
i
evethatthey
hav
eachancei ndati
ngme.”

Dakal
o:“
whataboutthepri
nce?
”sheaskswi
ggl
i
ng
herey
ebrowsandIlaugh.
Me: “
Ireall
ydon’
tknowwhereIst
andwit
hthatone
butunti
l hesor
tshi
sshitwi
thhi
swif
ethenther
e
i
sn’tgoingtobean‘us’
.
”

Dakal
o:“
ifheweretocal
ltomor
rowandt
ell
youthat
hehasdi
v or
cedhi
swife,
wouldyoubewi
thhim?
”I
l
aughagai
n.
Me:
“what
everdude.
”

Dakal
o:“
Fut
hyweweremaki
ngprogress.Don’
t
makemeextendy
ourst
ayher
e.”Ihuff
.“Doyoulov
e
hi
m? ”
Me: “
Idolovehi m.What’
sther
enottolove?Hei s
ki
nd,lovi
ng,caring,
consi
derat
eandprotect
ive.Heis
anidealboy
friendandhusband.Anywomanwoul d
beluckytohav ehim.”

Dakalo:
“andy
ouareoneoft
hetwowomeninthe
worl
dwhom helov
es.Whatdoest
hatmakey
ou
feel
?”
Me:“v
eryspeci
albutIwon’
ttel
lhi
m howIf
eel
unt
il
hesort
southisshi
t.
”

Dakal
o:“
goodl
uckont
hataspectt
hen.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“thanky
ou.
”
Dakal
o:“
whataboutSabel
o?Doy
ouf
orgi
vehi
m?”
Me: “y
eah.Itwasn’
tmeantt
obe.Iam sooldt
ostay
madatwhathappenedy ear
sago.Iam notabi
tt
er
person.Yeshehurtmebutther
eisnoneedforme
tostaymadathi mfort
hisl
ong.”

Dakal
o:“
whatabouthi
swi
fe?
”
Me:“Idon’
tcar
eabouther
.Shei
sanon-
fact
ori
nmy
l
if
e.”

Dakal
o:“that
’sthespi
ri
t.Whataboutmar
ri
ageand
ki
ds?”Ishrug.
Me:
“itwi
l
ldependonmyf
utur
eboy
fri
end.
”She
smi
l
es.

Weconti
nuet
alki
ngandoursessionfi
nall
ycomest o
anend.Wewalkoutt
ogetherheadi
ngtothelobby
andIsmil
ewhenIseethattheyhav
eplanneda
far
ewellpar
tyforme.Ever
ypatienti
shere.Someof
thest
affsayaf ewwordsaboutme,evenDakaloand
Bono.Someofmyt eam matesf r
om basket
bal
lal
so
sayafewwor ds.

Thepar t
ydoesn’tlastl
ong.Af
ter2hour sweallgo
ourseparateways.Igettomyr oom andchangeinto
mybl ackandy el
l
owswi msuit
.Ithenheadt othe
poolanddoaf ewlaps.WhenIam done, Iheadback
tomyr oom, t
akeashowerandf i
nishpackingmy
clot
hes.
.
.
It
’sFridaynightri
ghtnow.Igett omyhousear ound
7pm.Iam sot ir
ed.It’
snochi l
d’splaydrivi
ng12+
hourswi thoutanyonetotaket urnswith.Iparkmy
carint hegarage.Itakemyl uggageandheadi nside
usingt hekit
chenent r
ance.Ther eissomuchnoi se
comi ngf r
om thelounge.Icant ell
thattheyare
havingadebat eorsomet hing.Iputmyl uggagenear
thest air
case.
Ithenheadt otheloungeandj uststandinthe
door way.Ther earemakingsomuchnoi seandin
topic,t
heydon’ tevennot i
cemest andinghere.There
i
sNoma, Lee,Lee’sguards, Mabutho, Thobeka,
Zamoh, Xoli,
LeleandPhumudzo.IwonderwhatLel e
i
sdoi ngher e.Iclearmyt hroatandt heydon’ttur
nto
mydi recti
on.Iswi tchof
ft helightandwhenIswi t
ch
them on, theyareal l
qui
etl ookingaround.

Me: “
BOO!”Isayi nascar ywayandtheladiesjump
upinfri
ght.Ilaugh.“Ihadtodosomet hi
ngt oget
youratt
ention.Ihavebeenst andi
nghereforawhile
now.”Theladiesallcomeandbombar dmewi th
hugs.“Okaythat’senough.”
Noma: “
you’r
eback?”Inod.“
Forgood.
”Inodagai
n.
Shehugsmeagai n.“
Imissedyousomuch.”She
sayssni
ffi
ng.

Me:
“Iam backnow.Relax.”SheandLeepul
lmet
o
t
hekit
chenandIjustgi
ggle.
Lee:
“ar
eyouokay
?”
Me:“Iam f
ine.If
eel
ref
reshedandIam r
eadyt
otake
onanythi
ng.”
Noma: “
that
’st
hespi
ri
t.I
t’
ssogoodt
ohav
eyou
back.
”
Lee:
“yeah.Weneedt
ogooutt
oni
ght
.”Il
augh.

Lel
e:“Iagreewi t
ht hem si
si.
”Hesayscomi
ngt o
whereIam st andi
ng.HehugsmeandIhughi m
back.“Idi
dn’treal
izehowmuchImi ssedyouuntil
I
heardyouwer eatKat l
ego’sweddi
ng.”Welaughat
hi
m.
Thobeka:“
it
’sKgomotsodummy.”Shesay
smaki ng
herwayintheki
tchenandsi
dehuggingme.Lel
e
star
esatherwit
hhiseyebr
owsraised.
Lel
e:“
whoareyoucal
l
ingadummyMaNgweny
a?”
shehi
desbehi
ndme.

Thobeka:“dummy ?Whosai
ddummy ?Youhear
d
wrong.Isaiddar
li
ng.
”Welaughatt
hem.
Me:
“ar
eyouguy
sdoi
ngwhatIt
hinky
ouar
edoi
ng?
”
Noma:
“owwy
eah.
”Il
augh.

Me:“andhereIthoughtyouwer
eafrai
datThobeka.
”
Isaylooki
ngatLelewithanamusedexpr
essi
on.
Lel
e:“askherwhoi
saf
rai
dofwhor
ightnow.
”He
headsout.
Me:“car
etoexpl
ainMaNgweny
a?”Isayi
nLel
e’
s
voi
ceandshegiggl
es.

Thobeka:“hehat
esitwhenIdi
srespecthi
m.If
eel
sor
ryformyv agi
nanowbecausehei sgoi
ngto
murderit
.”Ifr
own.
Me:“geez,
Idi
dn’
tneedtoknowaboutmybaby
br
other’
ssexl
if
e.”Theyl
aughatme.
.
.
.
Igettomyr oom andqui
ckl
yrusht
omybedside
drawer.It
akeoutmyphoneandswitchi
ton.Whil
e
i
t’
sst i
llloadingnoti
fi
cations,
Itakemysui tcasesto
mycl oset,Iam goingtoseet hem tomorrow.
TonightIam goi ngclubbingandIam sonotdr ivi
ng.
Itakeof fmycl ot
hesandIam l eftwit
hmymat ching
underwear .Itakemyphoneandcal lZah.She
answer safterafewr i
ngsandscr eamsi mmedi at
ely
.
Ij
ustl augh.

Me:“Zanel
ecal
m down.
”Shedoesbr
eat
hing
exer
cisesandf
inal
l
ycal
msdown.
Zah:“f
eel
slikeIam dr
eaming,
gett
ingaphonecal
l
fr
om you.Ican’
tbel
ievei
thasbeentwomonths.
”I
chuckl
e.

Me:
“yeahi
thasbeenl
ongbutIam backnow.
”
Zah:“
it
’sgoodtohavey
ouback.Wher
ear
eyouguy
s
cl
ubbi
ng?”Ilaugh.
Me:
“whosai
dwear
ecl
ubbi
ng?
”
Zah:“
IknowthatNomaandLeearether
eandt
hey
havei
nfl
uencedyout
ogoclubbi
ng.
”
Me:
“What
everbutIam t
hinki
ngofgoi
ngt
oAl
l
oy.
”
Zah:“
wewil
lmeetyouther
eandbef
orey
ouaskIam
wit
hMbuso.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“okay.Pl
easebookameet i
ngwi t
hthatwit
ht hat
demandingcli
entandtel
lhi
mt hatwearemeet i
ngat
hi
ssitetomorr
owdur i
ngtheday.”Shechuckl
es.

Zah:“
fi
nall
y.Thatmancanbeimpossible.Atone
ti
meItoldhimtofuckoffandhetol
dmet hatheis
notgoi
ngany wher
e,hewantsMissCelehere.”I
l
augh.
Me:
“thatdr
amat
ichuh?
”
Zah:
“youdon’
tknowhal
fofi
t.
”
Me:
“okay
.Seey
oui
ntwohour
satAl
l
oy.
”
Zah:
“seey
ou.
”Ihangup.

It
hencallmymotherandtell
herthatIam back.She
i
ssohappyshecan’tevencontai
nherexcit
ement .
Si
jabul
i
lecanbedramaticsometi
mes.Sheev en
cal
lsdad,Gci
noandThando.Theyalltal
ktomeand
mom invi
tesmefordi
nnertomor r
ow.Igladl
yaccept
heri
nvit
eandtel
lhert
hatIwil
l seehertomorrow.I
hangupandgotakeashower .WEGOI NG
CLUBBING!
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
SPONSOREDCHAPTER
CHAPTER49

OnethingIl
oveaboutexpensiv
ealcohol i
sthatthe
hangoveri
sn’
tanauseati
ngone.Itisjustanormal
hangovert
hatcanbecuredbyonepanado.Igetup
fr
om thebed,makeitandthengotothebat hroom.I
showerandthenbrushmyt eet
h.Igetoutofthe
bathr
oom andthengotomycl oset
.Ifirstl
oti
onmy
bodyandthenblowdrymyhai r
.

Igetdressedinamust ardoneshoul
derbodycon
dresswhichiskneel engthandIwearbluesandal
s
tomatchwi t
ht hehai r.Iheadtotheki
tchenandeat
cereal
.WhenIam done, Iheadtomyst udy
.Irepl
yto
myemai lsandt exts.IfrownwhenIcomeacr oss
thi
scertai
nemai lf
rom Museum ofSout hAfri
ca.I
openi
tandi
treadst
his:

‘
DearMi
ssCel
e
Wear edel i
ghtedt oi nformy outhatyouhav ebeen
chosent odesi gnt hesecondbi ggestSouthAf ri
can
museum whi chwi llbel ocat
edatPi eter
maritzburg.
Afterseeingy oursket ches,wewer ev eryi
mpr essed
whichi swhywehav edeci dedtogr antyouthis
tender.Pl
easer eplytousassoonaspossi bleso
thatwecangetst arted.’

Iam sureZahi stheonewhosubmi t

tedt hi
s.Ionce
didasketchaboutahugemuseum whi chIstoredi
t
i
nmyof f
ice.Thesekidsthough.Igetdonewi th
repl
yi
ngt omyemai l
s.Ial
sofindthatthet i
tl
edeeds
ofmyt wobui l
dingshavebeensent.Thisi sgood.I
t
meanswecanst ar
tbuil
dingnow.Thet imecomes
formymeet ing.

Iheadt
omyr
oom t
otakemyphone,
carkey
s,i
Pad
andthenheadout .Ifi
ndZamoh, Mabuthoand
Thobekaalreadywaiti
ngf ormei nt
hedoor way.I
handZamoht hekeys.Weal lheadoutandclimbint
o
thecar.Hedrivesoff
.Themeet i
ngisinNtuzuma.I
call
Danny.It’
sabouttime.Thephoneaut omat i
cal
ly
connectstothecar’
sBl uetooth.

Danny
: “
Dani
elMabuzahel
l
o.”Il
aughbecausehi
s
voi
ceissomanly
.
Me:“Dannyit’
sBlue.
”Hescreamssol
oudthat
Thobekastart
slaughi
ng.ZamohandMabuthoal
so
j
oinher.“
Pleasestopscr
eaming.
”
Danny
:“bi
tchy
ouf
inal
l
ygotr
eleased?
”
Me:
“yep.
”
Danny
:“Iam happyf
ory
ou.
”
Me:
“soam I
.”
Danny
:“whenam Iseei
ngy
ou?
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“r
ememberwhenIt
oldy
ouhowbusymyl
i
fecan
be?
”
Danny
:“y
eah,
yeah.Ihav
etobet
heonev
isi
ti
ngy
ou.
”
Me:“y
eahbabey ouaremoret
hanwel
come.Iwi
l
l
hav
ear oom r
eadyforyou.
”
Danny:
“Ihaveaweekendbaecati
onwithAf
eeand
wearecomingther
etoDurban.MaybeIwil
lcheck
uponyouormay bewecanmeetf orl
unchbutyou
wil
lhavet
obr i
ngadate.
”Ichuckl
e.

Me:
“youknowIhav
enoonebabes.
”
Danny
:“howaboutt
hathunkyhunk,
thepr
ince?
”I
l
augh.
Me:“
remembert
hedramathathappenedt
hel
ast
t
imewedinedwi
tht
heZuluroyal
s?”

Danny :
“Itwi
l
l bediff
erentthisti
me.Wewi l
lbe
dressedappropri
atel
y.”Ilaughathisl
astsent
ence
becauseIcansenset hatitisful
lofsar
casm.
Me:“
Iwil
lseebabes.Chatl
ater
,Iam of
ftoa
meet
ing.
”
Danny:“
onaSat urdaynogal
?That
’swhyy
ou’
re
si
ngle.
”Ilaughagain.

Me:
“fuckof
fdude.
”Ihangup.
Thobeka:
“hei
snoi
siert
hanLi
ndsay
.”Il
augh.
Zamoh:“butLindsayi
smoretroubl
esomeyoh.He
oncecl
aimedmeashi sbaebecauseIwasaski
ng
outagi
rlthathesupposedl
yhavebeefwit
h.”Weall
l
aughathim.
.
.
WegettoNt uzumaandf indZahal r
eadyatthesai
d
l
ocati
on.Sheisstandingwi t
hamanwhol ooks
rat
herol
d,li
keinhisearlyfort
ies.Heisr
atherol
dfor
thi
sdramahei scausingyazi.Weclimboffthecar
andheadtowher etheyarestanding.

Me:“gooddaygoodpeopl
e.”Theyt
urnt
oour
di
recti
on.
Man:“
wowf i
nal
ly,
hermaj
est
ydecidestograceus
wi
thherpr
esence.
”Hesay
ssarcasti
cal
l
y .

Me: “
youar erat
hertoooldforthedr
amay ou’
re
causi
ng.I’dsuggestyoulosetheatt
it
udeyouhave
andwest artourmeetingbecauseit
’sSat
urdayand
weallhav ebett
erthi
ngstodo.”Helosestheatt
it
ude
andrelaxedabit.

Het el
lsmewhatexact lyhewant s.Heisa
gynecologi
stsohewant stobui
ldapr act
iceherei
n
Ntuzuma.Hef inishestelli
ngmewhathei s
expectingandourmeet i
ngcomest oanend.
Accordingtot hesi t
e,Icanseet hatwewi l
lhaveto
goupbecauset hereisn’tmuchspacet omaket he
surgerywide.Whenwear edoneweheadour
separateway s.Doi ngthisisgoi
ngt obeeasy .I
wonderwhyhewassodr amat
icaboutit.
.
.
Thefeelingofbei nghome, bei
ngsur r
oundedby
peopleyoul ove,peoplewhoknowy ou,knowy our
highsandl owsi sthebest.Mom ev encookedmy
favor
itewhi chisujeqenombont shisi(andcooked
beans).Ilovethatmeal .I
t’
sjustthatInev erf
ind
ti
met ocooki t.Ialsoknowhowt ocook.Byt hewayI
am herewi thmyguar dsandLel e.

Xoliisspendingtherestoftheweekendwi t
h
Phumudzo.Theyar esayingtheypost ponedt he
negotiati
onsbecauseIwasn’ therebutt heyar e
happeningnextweekend.Mydadi ssof ondof
Mabut hoandZamoh.Hebasi cal
lyt r
eatsthem li
ke
hissons.Rightnowt heyareal li
nt hegarage
l
isteningtohisobsessionwithcar s.Iam goingt o
buyhi m amustangonhi sbirthdaybecauseIknow
heisgoi ngtoenj
oyhav ingit
.

Iam withmymom, ThandoandThobekaandwear e

prepar
ingthet
abl
e.Wehav edi
shedupandmom
sendsThandotogocallt
hemenoutside.Shehas
real
lywarmeduptome.Sheev encal
lsmesisi.I
real
lywonderwhattheprobl
em inthebegi
nningwas.
IwishIcanbeami ndreaderandbeabletoread
Busi’
smi ndsot
hatIcanknowwhatexact l
yher
problem i
s.

Mom:
“sowhat
’snextf
ory
oubaby
?”
Me:“youwil
lhav
etowai
tli
keev
ery
onet
ofi
ndout
.”
shechuckl
es.
Mom: “chi
ldIwaitedfor9mont hstoseeyouand
thatwastort
ure.Ican’twai
tforli
keanybodyel
seto
knowabouty ourli
fe.
”
Me:“theblackmai
lai
n’
tgonnawor
kmommy
.”
Thobekalaughs.

Mom: “makot
iyoushouldn’
tbel
aughingatyour
motherinl
awifyouwannabeonhergoodbooks. ”
Thobekachokesonhersali
vaandstart
scoughi
ng.I
l
augh.Sij
abul
il
eissoclever
.
Thobeka:
“Idon’
tknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout
ma.
”
Mom:“honeyIwasn’tbornyester
dayandIdot al
kto
myson.Hespil
ledthebeansabouty ourrel
ati
onshi
p.
Whatyouhavetoknowi sthathelovesyousomuch
andhereal
lywantstomeety ourdaughter.
”

Thobeka:“Idon’tt
hinkherf
atherisgoingtol i
kethat
ma.Hei sveryhardheadedandi fhewer etofindout
thatIhavemov edon,hewill
fil
ef orful
lcustodyof
mydaught er.
”Shesay sandtear
sj ustfal
lfr
om her
eyes.Mom hugsher .
Mom:“
honeywehavet
hebestl
awy
ersi
nthefami
l
y.
I
fhewant
salegal
war,
heisgoi
ngt
ogetit
.”

Thobeka: “
heisgoingtousemypr ofessionagainst
memama.Heal wayssaysthat.Hesay smy
professi
onisverydangerousandmydaught erisnot
safewi t
hme.”Thandomakesherwayi nwiththe
menandThobekaqui ckl
ywipeshert earsbutsheis
toolatebecauseLelehasalreadyseenthem.He
rushestoherside.
Lel
e:“
whati
swr
ongMaNgweny
a?”
Thobeka:“nothi
ng.Futhywasjustt
ell
ingusf
unny
stor
iesthathappenedattheretr
eatandyouknow
howIlaughunt i
lIcry
.”

Lel
e:“
goodexcuse.Mom,dadwewi l
lberi
ghtback.
”
Hesayspul
l
ingThobekaandtheyheadupstai
rs.
Mom: “ev
ery
oneelsecansitdownsot
hatwecan
st
arteati
ng.
”Theyall
sit
.ZamoandMabutho’
seyes
ar
eonme.
Mabut
ho:
“whati
swr
ongwi
thThobekaboss?
”Isi
gh.

Me:“wewil
ltalkathome.”Theynodandstarteat
ing.
Aft
erafewmi nutes,
ThobekaandLelecome
downst
air
sandt heyjoi
nusont het
able.Sheseems
muchbett
er.
Gci
no:“Ir
eal
lycan’tbel
iev
ey ouaref
inall
ydati
nghi
m
si
sThobeka.Imeany ouleftthemor
ehandsome
br
otherandset
tledfor…eish.
”Wealljustl
augh.
Lele:“y
ouarenotgoingt
ogett hemoneythaty
ou
requestedGcinoandIam goingtomakesuret
hat
sisiFuthyal
sodoesn’
tgi
vey ou.”
Gcino:“
don’tl
ett
hedev i
luseyoubrot
her.I
t’
sme,
youronl
ybrother
.Ifyoudon’
tspendyourmoneyon
me, whoareyougoingtospenditon?
”
Lel
e:“br
oIhav
eagir
lf
ri
endwhom Ineedtospoi
l
rot
tensomymoneywon’tgot
owaste.”

Me:“can’
tbeli
evedadisl
etti
ngthesetwospeak
aboutgir
lf
ri
endsjustl
i
kethat.
”dadlaughs.
Dad:“t
heyhaveforgot
tenthatIal
sokeepasj
ambok
underthi
stabl
e.”Mom laughs.
Lele:“
dadwear ejustj
oking.ThobekaandIar
ejust
fr
iends.”Thobekachuckl
esandweal lj
ustl
augh.

Dad: “
Iam goi
ngtocutyousomesl ackbecause
Thobekaisagoodgirlandsheisgoingtobeagood
i
nfluenceonyou.I
fyouhurtherIam goi
ngt obr
eak
yourjaws.
”
Lel
e:“
shoul
dn’
tyoubethr
eat
eni
ngherasmy
par
ent?
”dadchuckl
es.

Dad:
“no.y
oursi
ster
swi
l
ldot
hat
.”
Thando:
“Iwoul
dn’tev
endream ofthr
eat
eni
nga
womanwhocarriesweaponseveryti
me.
”Weal
l
l
augh.
Bei
ngathomeisv
eryni
ceandcomfort
ingreal
l
y.
Homeiswher
ethehear
tis.Andmyhearti
swhere
myparent
sar
e.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
BONUSCHAPTER
CHAPTER50

Imetupwi thMv eloandSandi letwoday s.Wet alked

aboutal otofthingsbutIf inal
lyl
ett hem freeand
toldthem thattherewon’ tbeany t
hingthatwi ll
happenbet weenus.Ial soapologizedtot hem.Ial so
toldSandil
eaboutmesl eepingwithKuhl e.Ijust
didn’
twanthi mt of eelbadaboutcheat ingonme
becauseIal socheat edonhi m.Hewasf uri
ous, he
stormedoutoft her est
aurant.Buthecamebackan
hourlaterandaccept edmyapol ogy .

Wear esupposedtobegoingt
oLibyaintwoweeks.
Iam wit
hAr i
aandZahi nmyoff
iceandtheyar
e
busysearchi
ngfortheaccommodati
on.Iwasso
str
essedaboutwhatIwasgoingtowearatthe
ceremonybutIr ecei
vedacallf
rom Simamiso.She
saidshesawonmyi nt
ervi
ewsthatIam at
tending
awards.Sheaskedi fshecoul
ddesigntheperfect
dressforme.Iwasj usthappyt
hatsomeonecame
tomyr escue.Shesaidsheisgoingtobri
ngthe
dressnextMonday .

Ari
a:“
Iam fi
ndi
ngCori
nthi
aHot
el.Ij
ustneedto
knowthenumberofpeopl
ewhoaregoingther
e.”
Zah:“
fuck,
Radi
ssonBl
uisful
lybooked.Howmany
peopl
earegoi
ngwithy
ou,boss?”
Me:“myparent
s,myt
hreeguar
ds,
youguy
s,Danny
andKuhl
e.”

Ari
a:“soi
t’
s10peopl
e?”Inod.Zaht
apsonheri
Pad
andturnt
ome.
Zah:“
act
ual
lytheAAAsor
tedouty
our
accommodati
on.Fory
ouandfi
veotherpeopl
e.”
Me:“owwwowokay.Myr ent
swi
thDannyandKuhl
e
wi
ll
hav et
osor
toutthei
raccommodat
ionbuty
ou
cancheckifspacei
sst
il
lav
ail
abl
eatt
heCor
int
hia
Hotel
Aria.
”

Zah:“docheckandthenIwil
lsendthem ev
ery
detai
l
ssot hatt
heycansecurethei
rrooms.”
Me:“pleasebutti
cketsforthem.Ineedtocheck
KuhlebutIwill
gotohi soffi
cetomorrow.”Zah’
s
phoner i
ngsandshel eavestoanswerit
.Shecomes
backafterafewmi nutes.

Zah:
“ther
eisaLuf
unowhoi
sher
etoseey
ou,
boss.
”
Me:“f
inal
l
y.Goandmeetupwi thherandt akeherto
HR.shewillbewor ki
ngattheinteri
ordesigni
ng
depar
tment.Ilovedherworksomuch.I t
’sunique
andoutofthiswor l
d.I
thasthatAf r
icantouchthat
canmakey ouf eel
athome, ev
eni fyouarenotat
home.”

Ar
ia:
“homeawayf
rom homet
ypeoft
hing?
”Il
augh.
Me:
“yes.
”
Zah:
“okay
.Iwi
l
lcomebacki
naf
ew.
”Sheheadsout
.
.
.
*
**XOLI
***
Hav i
ngabossl i
keFut hyissoawesome.Shegav e
met helongweekendof fsothatIcanpr eparefor
thelobol
anegot i
ati
onswhi char etaki
ngpl acethi
s
weekend.Iam theonewhot al
kedt oSi
mami soaft
er
shetoldFuthyshewi l
l bedesigningherdress.SoI
boughtherheels,j
ewel ryandpur sewhichshewi l
l
pairwit
hthedress.Ileftthosethingsont opofher
bedbecauseIleftaftershehadgonet owor k.

Phumudzobei ngtheovercar i
ngandov erprot
ecti
ve
fi
ancéthatheis,hehashiredadr iverformewho
takesmewher everIwannago.Atf i
rstwear gued
aboutthi
sbutatt heendoft heday, hi
swor dwast he
l
aw.Ihav ealotofmoneyf rom mybankaccount
whichwasmysal ar
ysinceIhar dl
yusei tfor
anythi
ng.Thereisalsomoneyt hatPhumudzo
deposit
edinmyaccount ,hecallsita‘fiancé
al
l
owance’
.Dr
ama.

Itel
l t
hedr ivertodr i
vetoUMl azit
opi ckupmy
cousin, Thelumusa, whoi sthedaught erofmy
mot her ’
soldersister.Shehasat winandhi snamei s
Nkosi .Sotoget hertheyarei NkosiiThel umusa.They
got ot heZionchur ch.Ther eisthi
ssay ingthatZion
peoplesaywhent heyar eaboutt ositdownaf ter
preachi ngwhi chis‘i
nkosi i
thelumusa’ .Idon’tknow
whati tmeansbutaunt i
enamedt hem t hatbecause
theyar eherl astki
ds.May beshewasi ndicat
ingthat
shei sdonegi vi
ngbirth.

Wegett oUMlaziandfindheral
readywai ti
ngwith
herbagsatthegate.Lolshecanbecrazy .She
knowsifIgeti
nsidetogreetauntyIwi
llnev erl
eave
becausesheisaradiogogo.Icli
mbofft hecarand
weexchangegreetingsandhugs.

Me:“
youdon’
twantmetogreether
?Youknowhow
shei
sgoi
ngtomakeitseem l
i
keIam di
srespect
ful
whenshei
stel
l
ingmom t
hatIdi
dn’
tev
engr
eether
.”
Shehuf
fs.

Thel
u:“f
inebuttell
herthatyouarenotstay
ing.
”I
l
aughandwebot hheadinsi
de.TheminuteIseeher
shestar
tsulul
ati
ngandshower smewi thhugsand
ki
sses.Gosh.Weexchangegr eet
ingsandsitdown.
Aunty:“
Musagomaket eaforyoursi
ster
.Al
sotake
thesconesont
opofthefridge.
”Ihavetost
opher
nowbecauseshewon’tstoptal
king.

Me:“aunti
eIam meeti
ngmyf i
ancéi
ntown.Ihav
eto
hurr
ybecauseheisl
eavingtohi
shometowninan
hour.Ther
eissomethi
ngthathewant
stogiveme.”

Aunty:“
okaybutyouhavet otakesconesandgi ve
them t
oy ourmother
.Ibakedt hem especial
lyf
or
her.
”Theyaresoclose,you’dsweart heyareal
ways
toget
her.Whenevermom isbackf rom thenavy,t
hey
alwaysspendti
medoi nglunchesandshoppi ng
spr
eesandgossi
ping.

Me: “
okayaunt
ie.
”Shegoestotheki
tchenand
comesbackwiththebowlandhandsittome.I
standupandwehugagain.
Aunt
y:“
Iwi
l
lseey
ouguy
sonFr
iday
.”
Thel
u:“
byema.
”

Weheadout .Wegett othecarandt hedr i

veropens
thedoorforme.Icli
mbi nsi
deandhecl osesit
.
Thelur
ushest othefr
ontsitandgetsset tl
edwithout
sayi
ngany t
hing.Ij
ustchuckleandtell
thedr i
verto
dri
vetotown.Wegett otownandThel uleadsmet o
thi
sAfri
canbout i
que.Webuyadr esswi thanAnkar a
pri
ntwhichisyell
owandbl ack.Wethenbuya
matchi
ngdoek.

Whenwear edoneweheadt ogatewaywher

ewe
buyblacksandals.Phelathi
sisnotafor
mal
occasion.Justamalobolosother
eisnoneedfor
highheel
s.Whenwear edonewegot oliquorstore
tobuybooze.Wewi l
lbuythegroceriestomor row.
Whenwear edonebuy i
ngboozewegol oaditinthe
carandgotoNandosf orlat
elunch.Whi lewaiting
forouror
derIseePhumudzo, Phil
aandPhi wa
makingthei
rwayinsi
deNandos.Ij ustchuckle.
Surel
yhisdri
vert
oldhim whereIam at .Theygett o
ourtabl
eandtheyfi
rstgreetThel
u.Shedoesn’ t
knowwhot hesemenar eandhasnev erseenmy
fi
ancé.

Phumudzo:
“rat
olaka.
”Ismil
eandl
ookathim.He
si
tsdownnexttomeandkissesmycheek.
Phi
wa: “
don’tstoponouraccount,
weknowy ou
weregoingtokissherli
ps.”Hesayswhi
leheandhi
s
twi
nsitdownonei thersi
desofTheluwhois
dumbstruck.Ij
ustl
aughandhechuckles.

Phumudzo:
“Iam respect
ingmyin-l
aw.Iam
Phumudzobythewayandy oumustbeThelumusa.
”
Hesaysext
endinghishand.Thel
ushakesit
.
Thel
u:“
youar
ethef
iancé?
”
Phumudzo:
“yesIam.
”
Thel
u:“
yourf
acei
sfami
l
iar
.”

Phi
la:“
Iam sur
eyouhaveseenhi
m somewher
e
dar
li
ng.Heisabusi
nessman.”
Phiwa:
“byt
hewayIam PhiwaandIam nobody
’s
fi
ancésomaybewecantry
.”
Phi
la:“
nobrot
her,Isawherfi
rst
.”Theycont
inue
ar
guingandwejustlaughatt
hem.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Pri
nceKuhlewassi t
ti
nginhi sstudyathi shouse.He
l
ivedi
nMhl angaRocks.Hei sanappdev eloperso
wastry
ingtofixanappt hathadgl i
tches.Itwas
l
aunchi
nginaweeksoi thadt obeper fect.He
knowsthathisfamil
yisrich,hedoesn’tneedt owork
butcr
eati
ngappsi shisthing.Thedoorofhi sstudy
openedandhisyoungersi
sterwalkedi
n.sheisa
hacker,
thebesti
nthecountrybutshechoosesto
remainanonymousbecauseshecaneasilygetki
l
led
becauseofherski
ll
s.

Sheli
vesinEcuadorbecauseshei srunningaway
fr
om famil
ydramaandshemayormayhav enot
creat
edherselfdangerousenemies.Shecomest o
SouthAfr
icaonlyifit’
simport
ant.Herbrotherst
ood
upandattackedherwi thahug.Theyarev erycl
ose.
Shesatonherbr other’
schai
randhesatont hedesk.

Kuhl
e:“
sowhatbr
ingsy
out
oSout
hAf
ri
ca?
”
Pri
ncessLi
sakhanya:
“your
emembert
hatapp
devel
operGar
ry?”
Kuhle:“
theonewhoal waysdevel
opsl
ameappsand
al
way stry
ingtostealmyappsandact
ual
l
y
succeededinsteal
ing3ofthem?”
Li
sa:“y
es.Ihav
erecentl
ydiscov
eredt
hathei
syour
babydaddy.
”Kuhl
efrowned.
Kuhl
e:“
what
?”
Lisa:“noImeanal lyour‘supposedkids’ar
ehis.He
andSt habil
eareani t
em.Hav ebeensincethe
beginningofti
me. ”Kuhlestoodupandwentt osit
ont hecouchsot hathecoul dli
ebackandpr ocess
thesenewst hathissisteriscomingwi t
h.Heknew
thathissist
erishardlyinthecountrysoifshe
comest ohim,i
tmustbebecauset hisisseri
ousand
i
mpor tant.

Kuhl
e:“
whatar
eyout
ryi
ngt
osayLi
sakhany
a?”
Li
sa:“t
hatbothAmahl eandZweli
banziar
en’tyour
ki
ds.Thisbi
tchactual
lyusedyoutosecur
et hebag
andsecureherki
ds’futur
eandalsofame.”
Kuhl
e:“
howdi
dyouf
indout
?”

Lisa:
“Iact
uallyhackedherInstagr
am.Sheknows
thati
fyouwer etobesuspiciousofheryou’
dgot o
WhatsApp,textmessagesorcal ll
ogforevi
dence.
Sheknowst hatyou’dneverthi
nkofInst
agram DMs.”
Kuhl
e:“
sot
heyar
est
il
ldat
ing?
”

Li
sa: “
andver
ymuchi nlove.Rememberthev acati
on
shewenttowithherfr
iendinMadagascar?Itwas
actual
lyar
omant i
cgetaway.Mostofthevacations
shegoestowithouty
ouar eromant
icgetaway swith
herbabydaddy.
”

Kuhle:“
arey outry
ingtosaythatsheneverl
ovedme?
Allt
hiswasj ustagamet oher?Shewas
pret
ending?”heaskedget t
ingupset
.“Howcome
noneoft hesekidsaremine?Ihaveneverhad
prot
ectedsexwi thher.
”

Lisa:
“shewasal wayscaref
ulwit
hy ou.Butshehad
tofal
lpregnantbecauseshecouldn’
tall
owherselft
o
becalledi
nfert
il
ebyt hef
amily
.Shedi dwhatshe
hadtodo.”

Kuhl
e:“
Ican’
tbel
i
evet
his.Ican’
tbel
i
evet
his.
”He
keptonrepeat
ingthesamewor dswhilepacingup
anddown.Lisaknewt hatt
hiswouldbehisreacti
on
soshecamepr epared.Shet ookoutasedati
v ef
rom
herbackpackandinjectedhim ontheneck.Hefell
downandi twasli
ght sout.
.
.
*
**KUHLE*
**
Iwakeupwi t
haheav yhead.Iam gladIam awake.I
j
usthadt hiscrazynightmarewher eIfoundoutt hat
myki dsaren’
tactuallymine.Servesmer ightfor
fall
i
ngasleepdur i
ngt heday.IlooknexttomeandI
frownwhenIseet hatthewomanwhoi ssleeping
nextt omeisn’tmywi fe.Il
ookcar ef
ull
yandwhenI
seet hati
t’
smysi stermyey espopout .

SoIwasn’ tdreami
ng.Shewasr eal
l
yhereandshe
camet otellmethetr
uthaboutmybabies’pat
erni
ty.
Ireal
lydon’tknowhowt oreactt
othesenews.Iget
upf r
om thebedandgosi tonthecouchwithmy
phoneonmyhand.Al l
myl if
eIhaveneveri
magined
mybabi
esnotbei
ngmi
ne.ButwhySt
habi
l
e?Why
di
dyouhav
etodomeli
kethis?

Tear sfal
lfrom myey esandIdon’ tbotherwiping
them.IopenmyphoneandIdi eat housanddeat hs
asmywal lpapercomest odisplay.It
’saphotoof
Sthabileandmybabi es.Theytookitwhent heywer e
i
nav acationinDrakensburg.Sthabil
eisgoingt opay
forthis.Iopenmyphoneandcal lmyhumandi ary,
a
personwhom Iknowwi llal
waysbet hereformeand
willdropev er
ythi
ngtobebymysi dewhent hingsgo
south.Heanswer simmedi at
ely.

Dad:
“sonIam inameeti
ng,canyoucal
lmel
ater
?”I
j
ustr
eleasealoudsobandhekeepsqui
et
i
mmedi at
ely
.
Me:
“Ineedy
oudad.
”
Dad:“
okayson.Don’
tcr
y.Iwi
l
lbet
her
einaf
ew
hour
s.”Inod.
Me:
“okaydad.
”Ihangupandwi
pemyt
ear
s.
Aper sonwhodoesn’ tknowmemi ghtbesur pr
ised
bymyr eaction.Idon’thav eangeri ssues.WhenIam
facedwi thasi tuat
ionwhi chIcan’ tseet ohandle,I
don’tgoar ounddest royingf urniture.Wheni t’
s
personal li
kethis,Iall
owmy selftof eelthepainand
actuallycrybecausemyf athersai dt hatit’
sokayto
bev ulnerableandt oreleaset hepai nthrough
showi ngdifferentemot i
ons.Het oldmet hatI
must n’ttr
ytobest r
ongori gnor ethepai nhoping
thatitwillgoaway .

Igot ot hebathroom, takeof fmycl

othesandget
i
nsidet heshower .Iopent hecol
dwat erandjust
al
lowmy selft
ocr y
.Imagesofmel aughingand
havingf unwi t
hmyki dsf lashinmymi nd.Sthabil
eis
onebr av ewoman.Howcoul dheal
lowmet o
i
ntroducemychi l
drent oourancest
orsknowi ngv er
y
wellthatt heyaren’
tmi ne?Sheknowsv erywellhow
power fulroyalancestorsar e.

Ihav
ebeenwi
thSt
habi
l
eformor
ethan10y
ear
sand
Ican’
tbel
iev
esheact ual
lydidn’
tlovemef orall
t his
ti
me.Wowwomenar ecl evercr
eatures.Howcan
yousl
eepwithyourboy f
riend’
senemyf or10+y ears?
Whatkindofaboyfr
iendcanal l
owy out odothat ?

Sthabil
eandGar rydeser
veeachot her.Iam happy
thatsheisn’there.Shewenttov i
sitherparentsand
theywillbecomi ngbackaftertwoweeks.NowI
knowt hattheremi ghtbeapossibi
lit
yt hatsheis
withGarryandt heyareplayi
nghappyf amil
ywith
thei
rkids.Fuck,myhear thurt
s.Itf
eelsl i
keithas
beenrippedr i
ghtoutofmychest .
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
SPONSOREDCHAPTER
CHAPTER51

*
**KUHLE*
**

WhenIam doneshower ing,

Iwearmyv estwi th
sweatpant sandsocksandt henheaddownst ai
rs.I
don’tbotherwaki ngupLisabecausethereisa
possibi
li
tyt hatshehasn’tsl
eptforaweek.When
sheisinvest i
gati
ngsomet hi
ng,shedoesn’ttakelong.
Shesleepswhenshei sdonewi ththati
nvestigati
on,
evenifittakesherdays.Imakeacupofcof feef or
my sel
fandheadt othelounge.

Isi
tdownandjustdr
inkmycoff
ee.That
’sanother
thi
ngaboutme.WhenIam angr
yorsad,Ipr
efer
coff
eenotalcohol.Hoursl
aterand4cupsofcof f
ee
l
ater,
thefrontdooropensandheav yfoot
steps
maket hei
rwaytot hel
ounge.Irai
semyheadt osee
dadstandinginthedoorway.Hefrownswhenhe
seesmyf ace.Hetakesoffhiscoatandcomet osi
t
nexttome.

Il
aymyheadonhi slapandst artsobbi
ngl
oudly.He
doesn’
tsayanything,hejustbrushesmybackli
ghtl
y.
Aft
erafewmi nutes,Istopcryi
ngandbynowI
al
readyhavehiccups.Isitupandwi pemyeyes.He
l
ooksatmehopi ngt hatIcanst ar
ttal
ki
ng.

Me: “mywholemarri
agehasbeenal i
edad.Sthabil
e
doesn’tl
oveme.Amahl eandZwelibanziar
enotmy
kids.Shehasbeenfooli
ngmef orallt
heseyears.I
reall
ycan’
tbeli
eveher.IguessZweli
banzil
ookslike
mebecausehi smotherhatedmewhi leshewas
pregnantwit
hhim.”
Dad:
“howdi
dyouf
indoutaboutt
his?
”
Lisa:
“It
houghtIheardvoi
ces.
”Shesaysst
andingat
thedoorwayyawning.“
Hidaddy.
”Hetur
nstolookat
her.
Dad:
“heypr
odi
gal
daught
er.
”Shechuckl
es.

Li
sa:
“shoul
dIcooksomet
hingf
ordi
nner
?”
Dad:“don’
tbot
her.Idon’twantyoucooki ngsoftwar
e
anddesktopsf
orus.”LisaandIbot hlaugh.Dadcan
becrazysometi
mesbuthei sri
ght.Theonl yt
hing
thatLi
saknowsarecomput ers.Idoubtsheev en
knowhowt ofr
yanegg.

Li
sa:
“gi
vemet
hebenef
itoft
hedoubtdad.
”
Dad:
“goandfreshenup.Yourot
herbr
otheri
s
comi
ngwithourdinner
.”
Li
sa:
“okay
.”Sheheadsupst
air
s.
Dad:“IguessIknowt
hehowoft
hest
orynow.
”Inod.
“Butwhy?”
Me: “
Garry,whoisSthabi
le’
sbabydaddyi sanapp
devel
oper.Sthabi
lehashelpedhim st
ealthr
eeofmy
appsbeforeIcouldevenlaunchthem.Thatwasone
ofthereasonswhyshedat edandmar ri
edme.The
secondonei ssecur
ingthebag.”

Dad:
“whatdoy
ouwannadoaboutt
hisi
ssue?
”
Me:“Ireal
lywanttokil
lherbutIdon’
twantt
hekids
tosuff
er.Eventhoughtheyarenotmine,
Ist
il
ll
ove
andcareforthem.”

Dad:
“whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odot
hen?
”
Me:“f
ir
stthingsf i
rst,
Iam divor
cingSt habi
leandI
wannabanishherf rom Nongoma.Shei sn’
tgoingto
getacentfrom me.Lucki l
yImar r
iedheroutof
communi t
yofpr operty.Ij
ustwannagetsomeone
whowillbetheguar dianandcaregiverofthekids,
whom Iwillt
rustwi t
ht heki
ds’moneybecauseI
wannacontinuemai ntaini
ngthem.”
Dad: “
youareagoodmansonandIam pr oudtobe
yourdad.Iwil
lfi
ndthatsomeonewhowi l
lbet
he
caregi
ver.Whenareyouserv
ingthepaper
s?”

Me:“Iam goi
ngt omeetupwi thmylawy erandhave
hi
m drawupt hepapers.Iwil
lstr
ipherof feventhe
car
sandt hecards.Shehasbeenusingmeasa
wal
kingATM f orf
artoolong.Letmej ustfreezeher
car
dsr i
ghtnow.”Itakemyphoneandf reezeher
car
dsinstant
ly.Dadchuckles.“
Howl ongar ey ou
goi
ngt obehere?”

Dad:
“Iam goi
ngt
oleav
eSundayaf
ter
noon.
”
Me:
“whatwer
eyoudoi
ngwhenIcal
l
edy
ou?
”
Dad:“wasinthemiddl
eofthesi
l
lyconfl
i
ctabout
thesebrot
hersfr
om Mtubawhoarefi
ghti
ngfort
he
chief
tai
ncy.
”

Me:“whywoul
dtheyf
ightf
ori
t?I
sn’
tthef
ir
stson
ent
it
led?
”
Dad: “well
thefir
stsonisanex-
convictandheis
alsohalfroyalt
yalsohi
smotherwasn’tmar r
iedt
o
thechief.Thesecondsonisafullbl
oodandhehas
a‘cleanrecord’
.”Hesaysusi
ngairquotes.Ij
ust
chuckle.

Me:
“soy
ouendedupnotsol
vi
ngi
t?”
Dad:“
yes.Youneededme.ButIwasal
sowithy
our
uncl
esoIlefthi
m.Youknowhowhisprobl
em-
sol
vi
ngskil
lsare.
”

Me:
“youdi
dwel
l
.”
Dad:“
wellt
hanky
ouyourmaj
est
y.”Hesay
s
sar
casti
cal
l
yandwebothl
augh.
.
.
Sbocomeswi thdi
nnerandweal lsitar
oundt he
tabl
eandeat.Dadtell
shim aboutthecurr
ent
sit
uati
on.Sboisanoppositeofmeandhet endsto
dothingswit
houtt
hinking.Hehasangerissues.He
maybef unnyandallbutheisver
yv i
olentandcan
bedangerous.Mom al way
ssaythatour
per
sonali
tiesswit
chedbecauseIwast heonewho
wassupposedt obelikehim.

Dadcal mshim downandmakeshi m seer eason.

Luckil
yhecal msdownandr el
axesbutheendsup
sayingSthabil
eisgoingtopay ,onewayort heot her
.
Hedoesn’ tcarehowhewi l
l.Iknowwel l
thant o
arguewi t
hhim soIjustkeepmymout hshut .Idon’t
knowhowwear egoingtotellt
hewhol ef ami l
y
aboutthis.Mysecondandt hirdmot herdon’tlike
Sthabil
esoIam pr et
tysuretheyaregoi ngt obe
happy.

Myownmot hertoler
atesherbutyouwi l
l neversee
them havi
nglunchesorshoppi ngspreest oget
her,
bondinganddoingallthemot heri
nlawand
daughteri
nlawki ndofthings.Myyoungersi ster
from mysecondmot her,dadhasf i
vewiv esbyt he
way ,
sheisoneoft hefewpeopl ei
nmyf ami l
ywho
genui
nel
ycaresforSt
habi
le.I
fIwer
etot
akeanot
her
wif
e,Iam sur
eshewouldn’
tbeafan.
.
.
*
**FUTHY*
**
IgettoKuhle’
sof f
iceandwhenhi sPAt el l
smet hat
heisnotcomi ngtowor ktowor ktoday ,
Iaskf orhis
homeaddr ess.Shedoesn’ tgi
vemeanyhassl es, she
j
ustgivemet headdr ess.Zamohdr iv
esmet here.
Thisti
mear oundIjustboughtaSpurmeatpl att
er .
Wegett oKuhle’shouseandt heguar dsj ustletme
i
nwi t
houtaskingquest i
ons.Icli
mbof fthecarand
headtot hefr
ontdoorwi ththeplatt
erinmyar ms.I n
myot herhand,Iam carryi
ngapl ast
icwi thjuiceand
chocolat
e.

Iri
ngthedoorbellandafewsecondsl aterheopens
thedoor.Okaysomet hi
ngiswr ongbecausehe
doesn’
tlookli
ketheKuhl eIknow.Hisey esarepuf
fy
redwhichindi
catesthathehasbeencr ying.I
wonderwhatiswr ong.Il
oveandcar eabouthim so
seei
nghi
mint
hisst
atebr
eaksmyhear
t.

Kuhle:
“Ial
readyknowthaty
ouareheretoaskfora
fav
our.”Hesayssmil
ingandtaki
ngthepl
atterf
rom
myhands.Het ur
nstoheadinsi
deandIfol
lowhim.
Me: “
youknowwhatt heysay,thewayt oaman’s
hearti
sthroughhisstomach.
”Hel eadsmetothe
ki
tchenandpl acest
heplat
teront hecount
er.Ial
so
pl
acet heplasti
conthecounter.

Kuhl
e:“
youal
readyhavemyhear
tdon’
tworr
y.”I
pl
acemybaginthecount
erandgohughi
m.He
hugsmebackti
ghtl
y.
Me:
“youwannat
alkabouti
t?”heshakeshi
shead.

Kuhl
e:“
notnow.ButIam r
eal
lygladt
oseeyou.You
bei
ngherei
nmyar mshealsme.”Imeltl
i
kebut
teri
n
hi
sarms.Ibr
eakthehugandlookathim.
Me:
“you’
real
one?
”
Kuhle:“noIhaveguest sbutIam sur et
heywi lll
ove
tomeety ou.”Hesay stakingmyhandandl eading
met owhatIt hi
nkisthel ounge.Myt hr
oatgoesdr y
whenIseet heki
ngsit t
ingtherewithali
tt
legi r
land
Sbo.Idon’tcareaboutt hetwootherpeoplet hatare
wit
hhi m.Iam justembar rassedbywhatt r
anspi r
ed
atLimpopo.Theyal lturntolookatus,me
specif
ical
ly.HesmilesandIj ustlookdown.

King:
“MaCel
ewhatapleasuret
oseey
ouagai
n.”I
rai
semyheadandlookathim.
Me:
“hi
yourmaj
est
y.”Hel
aughs.
Ki
ng:
“cal
lmedad.
”

Me: “
myf atheri
sver
yjeal
ousoft
hatname.
”he
chuckles.
Ki
ng:
“cal
lmebabat
hen.
”
Me:“that
’sdoabl
e.”Kuhl
eleadsmet oat
woseat
er
couch.Hesit
sdownandIsi tnextt
ohim.
Kuhl
e:“
Iam st
il
lst
uckont
heagai
npar
t.
”
Sbo:
“meandy
oubot
hbr
other
.”

King:“
rememberthatmeet i
ngy ourbrot
her’
sandI
wentinLimpopo?That ’
swhereImether .Shewas
withherfr
iend,
Daniel.Howarey oufeel
ing?”heasks
andIknowhei saskingabouttheantsissue.
Me:“Iam wel
lbaba.What
evert
hatmani
nasui
t
gav
emer eall
yhelped.
”

King:“
hesaidyouwil
lhavetoappeaset
he
ancestor
swithagoatforswear
ingathi
mthatday
.”
Myey espopout.
Me:
“isn’
tthatabi
text
reme?
”hel
aughs.
Li
tt
legir
l:“
cansomeonepleaset
ell
uswhatusgoi
ng
on?”shesaysi
naratherst
rongvoi
ce.

Ki
ng:“wemetatalodgeinLimpopo.Theywer
e
i
ntoxi
cat
ed.Theywantedtoeatbr
eakfastt
her
ebut
thehost
esschasedt
hem awaybecauset
heywer
e
baref
oot
.”
Kuhl
e:“
whywer
eyouguy
sbar
efoot
?”
Me:“wehadbeenwear
ingheel
sthewhol
eni
ght
.”He
nods.

King:“somysonsdi smissedthehost essandasked

foratabl e.Iorderedt hem tojoinus.MaCel eorder
ed
j
uice.Whent hedrinkscame, shepour edherjuicein
theglassbutwhenshedr anki t
,let’
sjustsayithad
fi
reant s.Mt hembugav eherapor ti
onandshesai dif
somet hinghappenst oherbecauseoft hepor
tion,
shewi lldosomet hi ngbadt oMt hembu. ”Theyall
l
aughandIj ustcov ermyf acewi thmyhands.

Li
ttl
egirl
:“y
ouarebrave.Iam Lisabyt hewayand
don’
tintr
oduceyour
self.Ial
readyknowy ou.Iam t
he
onewhomadet hatpicturegoaway .”Shesay s
l
ookingatmeandIal r
eadyknowt hatsheist al
ki
ng
aboutthenude.
Me:
“thanky
ou.
”

Li
sa:
“youar
emybr ot
her’
sladyfr
iendsoyouar
e
pr
act
ical
l
yfami
l
y.”Ichuckl
eattheladyf
ri
endpart
.
Sbo:
“Iam sur
eyoubr
oughtf
ood.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“it
’sl
unchhoursoIcoul
dn’
tcomeempt
y-
handed.”

Li
sa:
“isi
tenoughf
orev
ery
one?
”
Me:
“it
’smor
ethanenough.
”

Ki
ng:
“thenLisagoandsetthet
ablewithSbo.
”They
i
mmediatel
yleave.“
Shoul
dItel
lherson?”
Kuhle:
“notnowdad.Ist
il
lhav
etof
igur
esome
thi
ngsoutfi
rst
.”Theki
ngnods.

Ki
ng:
“soyourf
atheri
sSiy
abulel
aCele?
”Inod.“
That
manyoh,
hewast hel
if
eofthepart
y.Wealwaysgot
i
ntotr
oubl
ewhenwewer etoget
her
.Evenmymother
hat
edhim atsomepoi
nt.
”Ifr
ownwhil
elooki
ngat
hi
m.
Me:
“youknowmyf
ather
?”

King:“
knowi
sanunderst
atement
.Yourf
atherwas
thegotoman.Webothstudi
edatOngoy
e.Atsome
pointwewer
eroommates.”
Me:
“whydoesn’
thet
alkabouty
out
hough?
”

King:“
wegr ewapart
.Someonetoldmef alse
i
nformati
onabouthimi nor
dertobreakour
fr
iendshi
p.WhenIdiscover
edthetrut
h, i
twastoo
l
ate.Yourfatheri
snotthef
orgi
vingtype.
”
Me:“heisnow.Whenwast
hel
astt
imey
ousawor
spoketohim?”

Ki
ng:
“af
ewy
ear
sback.
”
Me:
“hel
i
stenst
omesoi
fyouwannar
econci
l
ewi
th
hi
m,y
oucant
ell
me.
”hechuckl
es.
Ki
ng:
“Iwi
l
lthi
nkabouti
t.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
SPONSOREDCHAPTER
CHAPTER52

Li
sacal
lsustot
het abl
eandweal lheadther
e.We
si
tdownandshedishesforherf
ather.Iwonder
wher
eSthabi
l
eis.

Lisa:“
youwilldishformybr otherMaCel eandbhut i
Sboy ouwill
dishupf oryourselfbecausey oudon’t
hav ealadyfr
iend.”Boththebrotherslaugh.Idish
forKuhleandt hendishformy self
.West arteati
ng.
Lisaisbusytelli
ngherfatheraboutthepl aceshe
l
ivesin.

King:“
Ihear
dyouwer
eget
ti
nganawar
dMaCel
e.”I
chuckl
e.
Me:“yes.Wearegoingt
oLibyanextweek.Ihope
youhaveyoursui
tready
.”Isayl
ookingatKuhle.He
smil
esandlooksdown.Iknowhef orgot
.

Kuhle:
“Iwannamatchwi
thyousoIwant
edtoknow
thecol
ourofyourdr
essf
ir
st.
”Ir
oll
myeyes.
Me:“cal
lXol
iandaskher.Shei
stheonewhoknows
t
hecolourofmydress.I
t’
sasurpr
ise.Theydon’
t
wannamet oknow.
”

Li
sa:“
youguy saregoi
ngtoTri
poli
nextweekend?
”
Kuhl
enods.“Ihaveacli
entt
hatIneedtomeetup
wit
hinTobruk.”
Ki
ng:
“you’
real
readyl
eav
ingSA?
”
Lisa:“
daddyyouknowthat
’showIrol
l
.ButIpr
omise
you,Iwil
lgobackhomewithyouandcomebackto
DurbanonFridaymor
ningj
ustint
imefort
hefl
ight
.”

King:
“that
’sbet
ter.Westi
l
lhavetohav
esome
bondi
ngsessions.AndIam sur
eyourmot
her
sdon’
t
evenknowthaty
ouar
eint
hecount
ry.
”Shecl
ear
s
herthr
oat
.
Lisa:“
Iwil
lcal
lthem butiftheytal
kaboutthe
husbandissueagai
n, Iam goingtoignor
ethem f
or
therestofmystay.
”
Sbo:
“st
opbei
ngdr
amat
icsi
si.
”Kuhl
echuckl
es.

Kuhl
e:“Iam notev
engoi
ngtocomplai
n.”Myphone
ri
ngsandIfrownwhenIseewhoiscal
li
ng.
Me:“Ihavetotaket
his.Iam sor
ry.
”Ist
andupand
headtothekit
chenwhileansweri
ngthecal
l
.“Busani
what’
sup? ”

Busani
:“Iam sor r
yfordistur
bingy ouFuthybut
somethinghappenedatt heNongomasi t
ewherewe
arebui
ldingPrinceKuhle’spalace.Theydidn’
t
i
nspectthesitewel l
.West ar
tedbui l
dingandnow
thewall
scollapsedbecauset hef oundati
onwasn’
t
str
ongenough. ”
Me:
“whot
hef
ucki
nspect
edt
hatsi
te?
”somet
hing
l
iket
hishasneverhappenedbefor
e.Seemsl
i
ke
someoneist
ryi
ngt osabotageme.

Busani
:“Donna,
shei
sanewl
andsur
vey
or.
”
Me:“
thi
sproj
ecti
shuge.Howcanyouletsomeone
newdealwi
thi
t?Howcany oubesoi
ncompetent?
”

Busani
:“Iam sor
ryboss.
”
Me:
“di
dsomeonegethur
t?”
Busani
:“Landil
ehurthisleg.Thebri
ckscol
l
apsedon
i
t.Wearet aki
nghimt othehospit
al.
”
Me:“Iwi
l
ltryandgetaqui
cktransportt
hatwil
lget
hi
mt oNetcareher
einDur
ban.Wher edoesthi
s
Donnast
ay ?”

Busani
:“i
nSy
denham.
”Isi
gh.
Me: “
Iwil
ll
etyouknowwhenIgett het
ranspor
t.
”I
hangup.Iheadoutside.Isi
gnalZamohtogetofft
he
car.Hecomesout,togetherwit
hThobekaand
Mabut
ho.
Zamoh:
“whati
sitboss?
”

Me: “Ineedy outogotot heofficeandt el

l Zaht o
givey ouev er
ysi
ngledetailaboutanewl and
survey orcall
edDonna.Shehascr ossedt hewr ong
womanandshei sgoingt oregretit.
”Iturnbackand
goinsi dethehouse.Iheadt othedi ningroom.Ihav e
j
ustlostmyappet i
te.“
Kuhl ecanIt alktoy ou?”he
standsupandcomet ome.Weheadt othel ounge.

Kuhl
e:“
what
’swr
ong?
”
Me:“doyouhaveachopperthati
sinKwaNongoma
r
ightnow?”hescr
atcheshi
shead.

Kuhle:“y
es.I t
’si
nthepalace.What’
swr ongFuthy
?”I
narr
atethest oryt
ohim.“ TheymustnottakeLandil
e
toBenedi ct
inebecausetheyarenotgoingtoget
hel
pt here.Letmemakesomecal lsandthenget
backtoy our i
ghtnow.”Heclimbthestair
sand
di
sappeartothehall
way
.It
ryandt
hinkofany
enemiesthatIhav
eandnonecomeup.Whodidt
his?

Iheadtot heki
tchenandt akeoutbot t
ledwat erfr
om
thefri
dge.Idri
nkitinonegoandbr eatheafterthat.I
sitonthebarst
ool andjustthi
nk.Iknowt hatthisisa
sabotage.Iwonderwhoassi gnedthislandsur veyor
becauseWendy ,Richar
dandMat talwaysdot he
surveyi
ng.Kuhlecomesbackaf t
erawhi le.

Kuhl
e: “
for
wardBusani ’snumbertomyphone.”I
qui
cklydoasi nstruct
ed.Hetapsonhisphonefora
whil
eandt henpl acei
tonthecounter
.Hethen
comest omysi deandhugsme.“ Ever
ythi
ngisgoing
tobeokay.Don’ tworry.
”
Me:“someoneist
ryi
ngtosabot
agemeKuhle.Ever
si
nceIstar
tedDCCnothi
ngli
kethi
shashappened
bef
ore.”

Kuhl
e:“
don’
twor
ry,
wear
egoi
ngt
ogett
othe
bot
tom oft
his.
”Inod.
Me:
“Ineedt
oleave.Ihav
etobeatNongomaby
t
omorr
owmor ni
ng.”
Kuhl
e:“youhaven’
teventol
dmewhatbr
oughty
ou
her
e.”Ichuckl
e.It
otal
lyf
orgot
.

Me:“Iwantedtoaskyououtonadoubl edi
nnerdat
e.
DannyiscomingtoDurbanthi
sweekendandhei s
bri
ngi
nghisboyfri
end.Hewantedt
odi newit
hme
andtol
dmet obringaplusonesoIthoughtabout
you.
”Hechuckles.
Kuhle:
“Iam v
eryfl
att
eredanddon’
twor
ryIam goi
ng
tocome.”Ir
ollmyeyes.

Me:“
Iknewyouwer
egoingtocome.Youdon’
tknow
howtosaynot
ome.”helaughs.
Kuhl
e:“
truet
hat
.”
Me:“cany
oudri
vemehome?Ihav
esentmyguar
ds
somewhere.
”
Kuhle:“
okay
.Let
’sgosaygoodbyet
oev
ery
one
then.
”Weheadtothedini
ngroom.

Me:“Iam sor
ryaboutl
eav
ingi
nthemiddleoft
he
l
unchbuttherei
sanemergencyt
hatneedsmeat
work.
”
Li
sa:“i
sever
ythi
ngokay?
”Il
ookatherandsuddenl
y
anideacomestomind.

Me:“youcanhackanythi
ngfrom anywherer i
ght
?”
shechuckl
esandnods.“Cany ougivemey our
number?Ineedyoutohacksomeonef ormebutI
wil
lfor
wardyouallt
hedetai
lslateron.
”Ihandher
myphoneandshesav eshernumberi nthere.

Li
sa:“whatev
eriti
sthati
swr
ong,
wear
egoi
ngt
o
sor
titout.
”Inod.
Me:“byeever
yone.
”Kuhl
eandIheadout.Wedri
ve
outi
nhisBMW 320i.“
Soyouarenotgoi
ngtotel
lme
whatiseat
ingyou?
”hechuckl
es.
Kuhl
e:“no.butwhatIcantel
lyoui
sthatIam wi
fi
ng
younextyearonGoodFriday.
”Igi
ggl
e.
Me:
“dr
eam onmypr
ince,
dream on.
”Hel
aughs.
Kuhl
e:“
wewi
l
lsee.
”
.
.
Iam happyt hatKuhl eist heclientf ort
heNongoma
project.I
fitwasanot herperson, Iwoul dbefacinga
l
awsui tr
ightnow.Theguar dscomebackhomeand
givemet hei nformationtheygotaboutDonna.I
quicklysendi ttoLisa.Ithent ellthem aboutourlit
tl
e
tri
pandt hengopackmycl othes.Ishoul dbegoi ng
withXol i
sinceZahi ssupposedt ohol ddownt he
fort
e.Iam sur ePhumudzoi sgoi ngt okil
lmefor
disturbi
nghisf iancésoIj ustforgetabouther .

Ivideocal
lWendyandtel
lherthatIneedt ohertobe
atNongomaf i
rstt
hingt
omorrowmor ni
ngwi t
hher
team.Ideci
denofuckit
,wearegoi ngtosleepat
Nongomasot hatwecantackl
eont hi
sissuefi
rst
thi
nginthemorni
ng.Ical
lXolibecauseasmuchasI
havetododamagecont r
ol,
therearesomethi
ngs
thatIcan’
tdobymyself
.Sheanswer saf
teraf
ew
ri
ngs.

Xol
i
:“bossl
ady
.”
Me:“Xol
iIneedyout
obooktwosuit
esformeatany
l
odgeorhoteli
nNongoma.Iwannachecki
n
t
onight
.”
Xol
i
:“i
sev
ery
thi
ngokay
?”

Me:“j
ustawor
kemer
gencyt
hatIneedt
oat
tendt
o.”
shesi
ghs.
Xoli
:“okayIwi
l
lbookandt
hensendy
out
he
ref
erences.
”

Me:“Xoli
awallcoll
apsedi
nt heNongomapr oj
ect
l
eadingtooneoftheworker
sget t
inginj
ured.He
shouldbeher
einaf ewhours.ContactKuhleand
makesureyousettl
ehishospit
albil
lsandget
ev
ery
thingreadyf
orhim atNetcar
einuMhlanga.
Al
socallZahandtel
lhertoatt
endorcancelall
my
meet
ingsfortomorr
ow.”
Xol
i
:“okayboss.
”Ihangup.

Itakeashowerandt hendrymybody .Ipackmy

toil
etr
iesandputthem inmyweekendbag.Iget
dressedinagreylettergraphicdrawstri
ngwaist
j
umpsui tandwhitesneaker s.Icombmyhai randtie
i
tt oaneatbun.Ipackal lmygadget sinthe
weekendbagandt henheaddownst ai
rs.Ifi
ndthe
guardschatt
ingintheki t
chen.Mabut hoistheone
whoi scooki
ng.

Me:“changeofpl
ans,
weareleavi
nginanhour
.So
gopack.”ZamohandThobekaheadout.
Mabut
ho:
“Iam near
lydonewi
tht
hisst
ew.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“noprobl
em buty
ouwi
l
lhav
etopacki
ton
cont
ainer
s.”
Mabut
ho:
“wear
egoi
ngwi
tht
heAmar
oksot
ell
Zamoht
opr
epar
eit
.”Henods.

Iheadtothebackyardandj
ustsitonthebenchi
n
thegar
den.Idobreathi
ngexer
cisestocalm me
down.Runningacompanycanbehar dbecauseit
’s
notal
lrosesever
yt i
me.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER53

By8pm wear riveatNongomaandwechecki nat

NongomaI nn.Wegot oourr ooms,Iam shari
nga
room withThobeka.Wegetset tl
edinandItakey et
anothershower.Igetdressedi nmyshortpajamas
andgot akemyphone.Isi tont hecouchandj ust
scrol
l onmyphonewai ti
ngf orThobekawhoi s
taki
ngashower .Aft
ersheisdone, shecomesback
wearinghersleepwear.Sheissosexy ,mybrot heri
s
l
uckyt ohaveher .

Me: “l
et’
sgoeatsupperandt henwecanr est
becauseweneedt obeatthesiteearl
yint he
mor ni
ng.”Shewear sacoatandputhergunont he
pocket.Ichuckl
e.“Whocanpossi bl
eattackme
here?”shelaughs.Iwearmysilkygown.
Thobeka:“y
oumayneverknowboss.
”Shet
akesher
phone.Weheadoutandfi
ndMabuthoandZamohat
thedoor.
Me:“
don’
ttell
mey ouguy
shav
ebeenst
andi
ngher
e
t
hiswhol
etime.”

Mabutho:“
nobutwesuspectedthaty
oumi ght
wannagototherestaur
antf
orsupper
.”Inod.We
gett
ot her
est
aurantandset
tl
edown.
.
.
Thenextmor ni
ngIwakeupat4am andgot akea
hotshower .IhopeWendyandhert eam areont he
way ,becauseifnot
,wearegoingt ohaveaser i
ous
problem.WhenIam doneIheadt othebedroom and
fi
ndThobekamaki ngthebed.Weexchange
greetingsandsheheadstot hebathr
oom.Iget
dressedi nl
eopardpanelt
eeandj oggerssetwitha
twot onedrawstri
ngwaistcoatandblacksneakers.
Wegett
othesi
tewi
thoutev
enhav
ingbr
eakf
ast
.I
fi
ndtheconstructionwor
kersandthesitemanager
outsi
detheoffice.Wegettowheretheyar estanding
andIclearmyt hroatsot
hatIcangettheiratt
ention.
Theyalltur
ntol ookatme.

Me: “morningev eryone.Iam v erysaddenedabout

whatoccur redher eyesterday.Notonlydidoneof
thewor ker
sgethur tbutwel ostmoneyandr i
ght
nowwear el osi
ngt i
me.Yourt asktodayistogetrid
ofthemat erialthatwasdamagedandcl eant hesit
e.
Afterthatyoucangohomeandcomebackaf tert
wo
weeks.Youwi llgetnoti
f i
edabouty ourretur
ndat e
anddon’ twor r
yy ouaregoi ngt ogetpaidforthetwo
weeksy ouwi l
lspendst ayi
ngathome. ”

Si
temanager:
“nowgett
owor
ksot
haty
oucan
l
eaveear
ly.
”

Theygett
oworkandIheadinsi
detheof
fi
cewi
tht
he
si
temanagerwhosenameisJabu.
Me:
“whatr
eal
l
yhappenedJabu?
”Iasksi
tt
ingdown.

Jabu:
“Ir
eall
ydon’
tknowboss.Wewereact
ual
l
y
donewit
hthewall
softhef
ir
stfl
oor
.”
Me:
“di
dn’
tyouf
ir
stdi
gthebasementar
ea?
”
Jabu:
“ei
shthat
.”hesay
sscrat
chi
nghisheadandI
j
ustsi
gh.WhydidGodgivemeamateurworker
sthi
s
ti
mearound?

Me:“ayyIwil
lseeyou.”Iwearprotect
ive
const
ructi
ongears.It
henheadt owher ethe
const
ructi
onworkersare.“
Iam goingtolendy ou
guysahand.”Theyallseem conf
usedbutt heydon’
t
sayanythi
ng.
.
.
I
t’s13:
40r i
ghtnowandwestartedwor ki
ngaround
8am.Iam kaktir
ed.Ideci
det
ost opwor ki
ng.Ihead
totheoff
iceandtakeofft
heprotect
ivegear.Isay
goodbyetoJabuandt hewor
kersandt henheadto
thepar
kingl
ot.If
indt
heguar
dswi
tht
woofKuhl
e’
s
brot
her
s.

Thobeka:“y
oulookt
ir
ed.
”It
akeof
fmycoatand
handittoher.
Me:“want
edtodosomethingtokeepmebusy ,soI
hel
pedwithmovi
ngtheequipmentaround.”
Mabuthohandsmebott
ledwaterandIdrinkit
.

Mkhul
uli
:“sawubonasi
si.
”Ismi
l
eandl
ookatt
hem.
Me:
“heyguy
s.Whatbr
ingsy
ouher
e?”

Nqaba:“bhut
isaidwemustbri
ngyouf
oodbecause
hesuspectedthaty
ouhaven’
teat
ensi
ncemorni
ng.
”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“ishepsy
chi
corsomet
hing?”t
heyl
augh.“I
s
t
her
eaplacewher
ewecansitdownandeat?”

Mkhul
uli
:“t
her
eisanopenf
iel
dwhi
chi
snotf
arf
rom
her
e.Youcansi
tther
e.”
Me:“okay
.Driv
eandwewil
lfoll
ow.
”Wegeti
ntot
he
car
sanddr i
vebehi
ndt
hei
rcars.
.
.
*
**XOLI
***
Igettot hehospit
al wher
eLandileisadmit
ted.The
receptioni
sttel
lsmewher ehiswar di
sat,soIgo
there.Igetinsi
dethewar dandfindhimtalki
ngwit
h
awhi tewoman.Icl earmythroatandtheybothtur
n
tolookatme.

Landi
l
e:“
mayIhel
pyou?
”
Me:
“Ineedt
ospeakt
oyoual
one.
”
Whitewoman: “wewi
llt
alkl
ater
.”Shest
andsupand
headsout.Ishutt
hedooraf
terherandgosi
tonthe
vi
sit
ors’
chair.

Me:
“Iam Nomxol
i
sibyt
hewayandIwor
kforFut
hy
Cel
e.”Hechuckl
es.
Landil
e:“shesenty
ouher
e?Coul
dn’
tshecome
hersel
f?”
Me:“sheistheownerofahugecompany .Shehas
r
esponsibi
li
ti
es.Aswearespeaki
ng,sheisat
Nongomat r
y i
ngtododamagecontr
ol f
orthemess
t
hathappenedt her
e.”

Landi
l
e:“
sowhyar
eyouher
e?”
Me: “Iam heretotellyouthatwhathappenedwasa
mistake.Itcould’
vehappenedt oanyone.Wear e
verysaddenedbyi t.Wewi shyouaspeedyr ecovery
butpleasedon’ tt
ellthepressaboutt
heacci dent
.
DCCi sgoingt opayy ouforthewholeti
mewhi l
eyou
aresitti
ngathomer ecoveri
ng.Theywil
lactuall
y
tr
ipleyourpay .
”Hechuckl es.

Landi
l
e:“
ist
hisy
ourwayofbuy
ingmysi
l
ence?
”
Me:“actual
l
ysirt
hisisj
ustst
andardprocedure.You
see,
ifyoutell
anyoneaboutt
hisacci
dent,especial
l
y
thepr ess,y
ouwi llbesuedbecausey ouwil
lbe
breachingy ourcontract
.Yousignedanon-
disclosureagreementwher eyouagreednotto
discloseany t
hingthathappensinthesit
e.The
consequencesofy ougoingtothepresswilll
eadto
youbei ngunempl oyedfortherestofyourl
if
e.”He
huffs.

Landi
l
e:“
Idi
dn’
tsayIwi
l
lgot
othemedi
a.”
Me: “
ungaphi kanabamhl ophe.Theywi l
lleaveyou
pooraftertheybenef itfr
om t hi
sscandal .Dot he
ri
ghtthi
ngsi randt hinkabouty ourfamily.Theymay
promisey oumay beahundr edthousandbutwi l
lthat
l
astyouf oryourwhol eli
fe?”Ist andup.“Youwi llget
yoursalaryont heagr eeddat e.Don’ttakeadeci sion
thatyouwi l
lregretforther estofy ourli
fe.”Ihead
out.

Zahtol
dmet hatther
emi ghtbeasabotageonthis
i
ssueandthatthepersonresponsi
blef
orthi
smi ght
cometoLandil
eandof ferhi
m adealsoIhadtoact
fast
.Igett
otheparki
nglotandcli
mbinsi
det hecar.
Thedriv
erdri
vest
ogatewaywher ewedogr ocer
ies
andthenheadhome.Ican’twai
tfort
omorrow
whereIwil
lbePhumudzo’swifet
radi
ti
onal
ly.
.
.
Wegett oDur banandi t
’salready9pm.Wegett omy
houseandhav esupperwhichweboughtatKFC.I
l
ov edthef oodt hattheZul
ubr ot
hersbrought.Itwas
sodelicious.Itwasahomecooked.Theysai di twas
preparedbyoneoft hemaids.Wet henheadtoour
rooms.Ishower ,wearmyni ghtdr essandthenget
tobed.Ical lNomaandi nf
or m heraboutthi
si ssueI
am facingatwor k.Sheisalsomycompanyl awy er
.

WhenIam done, IcontactXoli andshet el

l
sme
abouttheconver
sationshehadwi t
hLandile,
whata
chancer.WhenIam done, Ireceiveat extf
rom Li
sa
sayi
ngshehassomei nformat ionandshewoul dli
ke
toseemet omorrowbef oretheyl eavebecausethey
areheadedtoNongoma.It ellherthatIwil
lcome
t
omorr
owmorning.It
hensaymyni
ghtpr
ayerand
t
hendr
iftt
osl
eep.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER54

Iwakeup, bathandthengetdressedinaflounce
tr
imfloraldr essandyell
owsandals.Icombmyhai r
andti
ei t.Ireall
ylovetyi
ngmyhair.Ithenweara
yel
lowdoek.It akemyAv et
andorcarkeys,bagand
phone.Igodownst air
sandfindMabut hocoming
outofthei nhousegy m.

Me:
“hi
But
hoandby
eBut
ho.
”Hel
aughs.
Mabut
ho:
“Iam notev
engoi
ngt
oaskany
thi
ng.
”
Me:
“goodboy
.”

Iheadtothegarageanddri
veoutmycar .If
ir
stdriv
e
tothepetr
olstat
iontof
il
lupthetank.It
henbuy
powerade.Igeti
nsidet
hecaranddrivetoKuhle’
s
house.Igetthereandfi
ndKuhlest
ret
chi
ngoutsi
de
thehouse.Iparkmycarinthedri
vewayandheadto
whereheisat .Hol
yfuck,hei
sshir
tl
ess.

Me:
“mor
ningmypr
ince.
”Hesmi
l
es.
Kuhle:“mor
ningmyqueen.Iwoul
dhugy oubutI
don’twannaleav
esweatallov
eryourbeauti
ful
dress.
Youl ookwonder
ful
thi
smor ni
ng.
”Iblushandroll
my
eyes.

Me:“ y
oudon’thavetocomplementmet hatmuch
Kuhle.”Ist
udyhischestandabs.Hi
schesthasink.
“Youhav etat
toos?Whatkindofapri
ncetatt
oos
himself?”
Kuhl
e:“
myki
nd.
”
Me:
“wher
ecanIf
indLi
sa?
”

Kuhle:
“youwil
lfi
ndherint
hekitchen.
”Igeti
nsi
de
thehouseandheadtotheki
tchen.
Me:“t
houghtIwoul
dfi
ndyoucooki
ng.”IsaywhenI
seeLi
sasit
ti
nginoneoft
hebarst
ools.Shegi
ggles.

Li
sa:“
Idon’
twannaburnmybr ot
her
’ski
tchen.But
canImakeyoucoff
ee?”Inodandsi
tdown.She
makesmecoffeeandshehandsitt
ome.
Me:
“sowhatdoy
ouhav
eforme?
”
Li
sa:“
doyouknowaNqobi
leMthi
yane?”If
rownand
tr
ytorememberandt
hent
hel
ightbul
bgoeson.

Me: “
shewasal wayscompetingwithmewhi l
eIwas
sti
l
lstudyingatWit
s.Shewasr eal
lybi
tterandshe
wasalway sonmycase.Ilastsawherongr aduat
ion
day.Ithoughtt
hatwouldbethelastti
meIhearof
hername. ”

Li
sa:
“sheisthef
ounderandownerofConquer
s
Ar
chi
tect
s.”
Me: “
owwy ah.Iknowt
hatcompany
.It
houghti
twas
basedinJo’bur
g.”
Lisa:“DonnaMagnesi sherchi
ldhoodf ri
end.They
plannedthisandseemsl i
ketheyhav ebeenplanning
yourdownf all
forawhilenow.Theyhav en’t
succeededbecauset hi
sLandil
eguywhogothur t
i
sn’tinter
estedinwhattheyareplanning.Whatever
yousai dtohim wor
ked.”

Me:
“Xol
ii
stheonewhowentandt
alkedt
oher
.”
Li
sa:
“wel
lshei
samazi
ng.
”
Me:
“Iwi
l
lhav
etodosomet
hingt
othankher
.”

Li
sa:“Ineedyoutobecareful
.Thi
sNqobileper
son
seemst ohaveaplanB,
C, D.Youjusthav
etostay
al
ertbecauseitseemsl
ikeshewon’tbegivi
ngup.
”I
si
gh.
Kuhl
e:“MaCel
ecomeandpi
ckasui
tformeto
wear.
”Hesaysst
andi
ngint
hedoor
way.Heonl
yhas
atowelar
oundhi
swaist
.

Me:
“butwhyme?
”
Li
sa:“i
fnoty
ou,thenwho?Pl
ust
hisi
syourwayof
payi
ngme.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“unbel
iev
abl
e.YoudoknowIwoul
d’v
epai
dyou
6fi
gures.
”
Li
sa:
“hepaysmebet
ter
.”Shesay
spoi
nti
ngatKuhl
e
wi
thherey
es.

Me:
“fi
ne.”Ist
andup.“Leadtheway.”Weheadt
ohi
s
r
oom.It
’sreal
lyhugeanditi
sverybeaut
if
ul.
Kuhle:“mycloseti
st hatway .Iam oneofthelobol
a
negotiat
orssoIhav etolookgood. ”Hesaystaking
offhistowelandloti
oning.Ijustswall
owhar dand
gotot hecloset
.Ihavenev erreal
lychoseclothesf
or
aman.Thi sismyf i
rsttime.
Hehasr eallyni
ceclothes.Itakeouthissafar
itwo
piecesuitwhichismust ar
dandbl ackvest.AndnoI
am nottryingtomatchwi thhim butthi
ssuiti
sv er
y
beauti
ful.Ibendandtakebl ackdressshoesfrom
theshelfbelow.Ihearawhi stl
eandIst andupvery
quickl
y.
Kuhle:
“ni
ceassyougott
here.
”hesaysli
ckinghi
s
l
ips.Heisnowweari
ngunderwearandsocks.
Me: “
you’veseeni
tbef
ore.What
’sthefussnow?
”he
chucklesandcometostandi
nfrontofme.
Kuhl
e:“
it
’sareall
ygreatassandIwouldl
ovetosee
i
tever
yday.
”Hi shandstravelal
lov
ermybodyand
l
andtomyass, grabbi
ngit.Iwimp.

Me:
“her
eisy
oursui
t.Youar
egoi
ngt
obel
ate.
”
Kuhl
e:“t
heycanwai
t.FornowIfeell
i
keservi
cingmy
wif
e.Ihaver
easont
obelieveshel
astgotl
aidatthe
hot
el.
”Iswal
lowhar
d.
Me:“Kuhlenotnowanddef i
nit
elynotatyour
matr
imoni al
home.”Het akeshishandsof fmyass
andsighs.Hethentakeshissuit,vestandshoes.

Kuhl
e:“
youwannamat
chwi
thme?
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“no.Iwi
l
lseey
oul
aterkwaXol
i
.”
Kuhl
e:“
canIgetaki
ssbef
orey
oul
eav
e?”
Me:
“Kuhl
e…”

Kuhl
e:“
please.
”Isi
ghst
andi
ngonmytoesand
ki
ssi
nghim.Ibreakt
heki
ssandt
henheadout
.
.
.
Ifi
rstheadt othemalltobuyboozeandagi f
tfor
Xoli.Iknowthisoccasi
ondoesn’tneedgiftsbutXoli
i
sspeci alanddeservestobepamper edeverynow
andt hen.IbuyacoldsixpackofBelgrav
iat ogetme
i
nt hemood.It hendriv
et oXol
i’
shomest eadwhile
dri
nkingandl i
steni
ngPr i
nceKaybee’
sProjectHope
al
bum.

IgettoXoli
’shomeandf i
ndt henegot i
ator
salready
ther
eandseemsl iketheyar ediscussingthi
ngs.I
hopeXoli’
sfathercharget hem al otbecause
Phumudzoi srich,heneedst opay .Idriv
emycart o
thegateandaboyopenst hegat eforme.Idr i
vein
andparkthecarj ustoutsi
det hegar age.Iki
ll
the
engine,
finishmysecondcanandthenfi
xmydoek
andmake- up.Icl
i
mbofft
hecarandgetinsi
dethe
house.Ifindmom sit
ti
ngwit
hsomel adi
esinthe
ki
tchen.

Me:
“sani
bonani
.”Theyal
lgr
eetback.
Mom:
“howar
eyoubaby
?”
Me:
“Iam f
inema.Wher
eisXol
i
?”

Mom:“youandthi
snameofy ours.I
t’
strendingand
al
mostevery
oneiscall
i
ngherthat.
”Ilaugh.“Sheis
i
nthesecondroom onyourr
ightdownt hecorri
dor
.”

Me:“okayma.”Iheadtothedi
recti
onshesai d.I
openthedoorand6pai r
sofeyesturnstolookatmy
di
rect
ion.“
Hieveryone.
”Theygreetback.Xolist
ands
upandcomest ohugme.
Xol
i
:“t
hanksf
orcomi
ngboss.
”
Me:
“any
thi
ngf
ory
ou.Andt
hanky
ouf
orwhaty
ou
di
dwi
thLandi
l
e.”

Xoli
:“apl
easure.If
eltsoal
i
veaft
erthatmomenti
n
theward.
”Ilaughandshealsol
aughs.
Me:
“youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
”Shesmi
l
es.
Xoli
:“t
hankyou.Bythewaythesear
emycousins,
TheluandThal
ente.Thent
hesearemyhighschool
fr
iendsKhazi
mulaandZolet
haandy ouknowZah.”

Me:
“ni
cet
omeety
oual
l
.”
Zolet
ha:“
you’
retheonedri
vi
ngtheLamborghi
ni
outsi
de?
”Ismileandnod.“
Yourboyfr
iendmustbe
ri
chtohaveboughtyouanexpensi
veandbeauti
ful
carli
ket
hat.
”
Khazi
mula:
“bl
esseet
endenciesbabes.Youshoul
d
hookusupwit
hhisfr
iends.
”Theygiggleandhif
ive.
Zah:
“FYI
…”

Me:
“Zanel
eno.don’
t.
”shehuf
fsanddr
inks
whatevert
hatisonhercup.Iknowshewasaboutto
defendmyhonorbutIdon’tcarewhatpeopl
ethi
nk
aboutme.Itakeoutasmallgif
tbagfrom mybag
andhandittoXoli
.“Happymalobol
odayMr s.
Modisanetobe.”Shesmil
es.

Xoli
:“t
hanky
ousomuchFut
hybuty
oudi
dn’
thav
e
to.
”ZahandIlaugh.
Zah:“don’
tbemodestdear.Bossdi
dyoubr
ingany
col
dst uf
f?Mythr
oatisn’
ttaki
ngthi
shotwi
newell
.
”I
chuckle.

Me: “l
et’
sgot omycar .Wewi l
lcomebackl at
erXoli
.”
Weheadoutandf i
ndMabut ho,ZamohandThobeka
parki
ngt heAmar okintheyard.Wewaituntil
they
areoutoft hecar.Theycomet owherewear e
standing.“
Ihopey oubroughtmef oodbecauseIam
starv
ing.”ThobekalooksatZamoh.

Thobeka:
“5poi
ntsf
orThobeka.
”Mabut
hoand
Zamohl
augh.
Me:
“andt
hen?
”

Thobeka:“wellItol
dthem thatsi
nceyoulefthome
wit
houteating,Iam sureyouhaven’
thadtimet o
havebreakfast.WorrynotbecauseI
,yourfavori
te
bodyguard,boughtyouawi mpybreakfast
.”
Mabutho:“j
ustbecauseoffood,
youaresuddenl
y
thefav
ori
te?”Il
aughbecausehistonei
sgirl
y.
Thobekasti
cksouthertongueandheadtothecar.
Shecomesbackwi thawimpypaperbag.Shehands
i
ttome.

Me:
“you’
ret
hebest
.”
Thobeka:
“iny
ourf
aceBut
ho.
”Weal
lj
ustl
augh.I
handZahmycarkeys.

Me:“
thereisacold4packi
nthepassengerseatand
t
her
ei sal
somor eboozei
ntheboot
.Takeitoutand
t
akeittotheki
tchen.
”
Zah:“butt
he4packisstay
ingi
nthecar
,al
soone
bott
leofvodka.
”Ij
ustl
aughshaki
ngmyhead.
.
.
Thenegotiati
onswentwel l.Wearenowsi tt
ingatthe
marqueatt hebackyardanddr i
nkingbecausewe
haveservedthefoodt otheinlaws.Wear esitt
ing
wit
ht hem hereatt
hemar queandsomeoft hem are
makingjokes.Kuhleissi
ttingnexttome.

Phumudzo:“
Iam sogl
adthatt
hisparti
sover
.Now
wecanlookfor
wardtot
heactualweddi
ng.
”
Zah:
“soy
ouar
eleav
ingwi
tht
hem t
oni
ght
?”
Xol
i:
“no.Iwi
l
lgot
her
enextweekendbecauseoft
he
awar
ds.”

Khazi
mul
a:“
whatawar
ds?
”
Xol
i
:“wel
l
…”
Me:
“Mzansi
Magi
cAwar
dswhi
chIam at
tendi
ng
wi
thmybl
esser
.”
Zol
etha:“t
oldy
ousheisablessee.
”Myf r
iendslook
atmelikeIhav
egrownhorns.“Imeanhowel secan
sheaffor
dacarli
kethatwi
thoutasponsor?”

Kuhl
e:“
wow.
”Hesi
psonhi
sbeer
.
Noma:
“Iam notev
engoi
ngt
osayany
thi
ng.
”
Lee:
“meei
ther
.”
Zol
etha:
“ther
eisnothi
ngwrongwit
hthi
sli
fest
yle.
Welovethenicel
i
fe.Shei
snotashamedtoshowi t
.”

Mbuso:
“doy
ouwhathernamei
s?”
Mabutho:
“hav
eyouev
erseenabl
esseewi
th
guar
ds?”
Khazi
mula:
“wherear
etheguar
ds?
”sheasks
l
aughi
ng.Okayfuni
sover.
Me:“t
henamei sNtombif
uthifuckinCel
e.Youcan
Googl
emeumungangazi .
”Isingt hel
astpart
.“You
havebeaut
if
ulsui
tsiny
ourcloset.Whydoy ouneed
anewone?
”Iwhi
spert
oKuhl
e.

Kuhl
e:“samereasonwhyyouneedanewdress
whil
eyouhavev er
ybeaut
if
uldr
essesi
nyourcl
oset
.”
Me:“
butIam awoman.Ineedt
owearsomet
hing
newtoanoccasi
onl
i
kethis.
”
Kuhl
e:“andIam apr
inceandIneedtowear
somethingnewtoanoccasi
onli
kethi
s.”Il
augh.
Me:
“whatacomeback.
”

Khazi
mul
a:“
youar
ethef
amousFut
hy?
”
Lee:“
nowyouknow.Canwedr i
nkinpeacenowor
youwannaGoogleevery
oneonthi
smar que?
”
Khazi
mulashakesherhead.
Noma:
“nowthat’
soutoft
heway
,wher
ear
ewe
goi
ngt
onight
?”
Zah:
“may
beatMoj
osCar
wash.
”
Xoli
:“am Ial
sogoi
ng?”sheasksbat
ti
ngher
eyel
ashesatPhumudzo.
Phumudzo:“f
inebutIam nevergoi
ngtogety
ouout
ofmysight
.”Wealllaugh.MbusoandPhumudzoar
e
soover
prot
ectiv
eoft hei
rwoman, i
t’
scut
e.

Kuhl
e: “
andpl ease,nopr ovocati
ngout f
its.
”Hesay s
l
ookingatmeandIj ustchuckle.Kuhlethinksheis
myboy fr
iend.Cansomeonepl easetellhimthatIam
st
il
lthesingleNt ombi f
uthiCele?Ifeell
ikeheis
cl
aimingsomet hi
ngt hatisnothisbutIam goi ngto
l
ethim offthehookbecauseIst i
l
ldon’tknowwhy
hewascr ying.May behei sgoingthroughal ot.
.
.
.
CHAPTER55

RightnowIam driv
ingwithKuhlet
othehot elwhere
wear emeeti
ngDannyandAf ri
ka.Ihadtotall
yforgot
butlucki
l
yhecalledtoremindme.Ididn’
tev engoto
myhouset ochangebecauseit’
salr
eadylate.Kuhle
hasalsonotchanged,heissti
l
lwearinghi
ssui t
.

Hisguar dsar edrivi

ngbehindus.Heisdr i
vi
ngmy
car.Iam kakt ir
edandmyf eethurtandIam al soa
l
itt
letipsy.Igav emyguardst heafter
noonof f.I
meant heyareal wayswit
hmesoIhav etogivethem
ti
met obr eathe,plusKuhle’
sguardsar eheresoIam
perfectlysafe.Iyawnandst r
etchmyar ms,yeahI
am thatt i
red.
Kuhle:
“may
beweshoul
djustcancel
thi
sdat
e.”I
shakemyhead.
Me:“Dannyisgoingtoki
llmeifIdon’tcome.Canwe
passthepetr
olstat
ionfi
rstsothatIcangeta
MonsterEnergy
?”
Kuhl
e:“
asy
ouwi
shmyqueen.
”

Hedr i
vest oapetrol stati
on,goesoutandcomes
backmoment slaterwi ththeenergydr ink.Hehands
i
tt omeandIdr i
nki tinstant
ly.Hedr i
vest othehotel
afterthat.Wegett hereandgot other estaur
ant.
Thisr estauranti
ssocozyandpr ivate,youhav eto
l
eav ey ourphonesatt heent r
ance.It’
saper f
ect
placef orpeoplewhoar ehavingaffair
s.Wehandour
phonest othehost essandshehandsuscar dsin
return.Shet hencal l
sawai t
erwhol eadsust oour
table.

Danny
:“bi
tchy
oufinal
l
ymadei
t!
”heshout
sassoon
asheseesme.Ir
ushandgi
vehi
m ati
ghthug.
Me:
“howar
eyoubabes?
”
Danny
:“f
lour
ishi
ngasal
way
s,howar
eyouhoney
?”

Me:“Iam okay
,justt
iredbecauseIst
art
eddr
inki
ng
ear
lyint
hemor ning.
”
Danny:“dr
unkard.
”Ilaugh.Weexchangegr
eeti
ngs
withourdatesandthensettl
edown.Thewait
er
takesourorder
sandt henleave.
Me:
“whyt
hispl
aceofal
lpl
aces?
”

Danny:“Bl
ueyou’r
ef amous, thepri
nceisfamous.If
wewentt oaregularrestaurant
,youguyswould’ve
tr
endedwithi
naf ewhour sandjour
nali
stswould’v
e
madet hei
rownconcl usions,pl
usyouroutfi
tsare”
heshrugs“naweuy azibonela.
”

Kuhle:“
you’r
erightDanny.Isti
l
lwanttoenjoymy
rel
ati
onshipwithmyqueenbef oreweletitbeknown
tothepubli
c.Thanky ouforthi
nki
ngofus.”Itur
nto
l
ookathi m wit
hmyey eswideopened.GuysKuhlei
s
hal
l
uci
nat
ing.Somet
hingi
swr
ongi
nhi
shead.

Af
ri
ka:
“soy
ouguy
sar
eani
tem?
”
Me:
“act
ual
l
y…”t
hemonst
ernextt
omei
nter
rupt
s
me.

Kuhle:“somethi
ngl i
kethat,
butIwannagetmy
aff
airsinorderfi
rstbef
oreIcanpublici
zeour
rel
ati
onship.Idon’twannahidehowIf eel
abouther.
”
Iswallowhard.Luckil
ythewaiterbr
ingsourdr
inks
atthatinst
antmoment .Itakethegl
assofwaterand
gul
pi tdownononego.

Danny:“mypr
inceyouarescari
ngmyf ri
endwith
yourseri
oust
alk.
”Kuhlet
urnstolookatmeandhe
j
ustkissesme.Whatthehell
?Iactual
lyf
reeze.
Dannychuckl
esandIunfreezeandbreaktheki
ss.
Me:“umm howisworkDanny
?”It
rytochanget
he
subj
ect.Hegi
ggl
esanddri
nkshi
swine.
Danny
:“bor
ingr
eall
y.I
sitwrongf
ormet
owi
sht
ogo
backt
oLimpopo?”Ishakemyhead.
Me:“notatal
l.Therearealotoft
hingswedi
dn’
t
hav
et odealwithatthatpl
ace.
”

Danny:“Ishoul
dthankyouremployee,theone
whoseweddi ngweattended.I
fitwasn’tforher
,I
wouldn’thavemetmyv eryownprincecharming.”
Hesay slooki
ngatAfri
kawhosmi lesinretur
n.Aww,
l
oveisint heai
r.
Me:“st
opmaki
ngmej
eal
ous.Someofusar
esi
ngl
e
guy
s.”

Kuhle:
“MaCel ei
fyouhavenothi
ngbet
tertosay,
just
shutup.”IgaspandDannychokesonhisdri
nk.
Me: “
Ineedtousetherestr
oom. ”Istandupand
headtowher et
hetoil
etsare.Igetthereandj ust
ri
nsemyf acewithcol
dwat erfr
om t hesink.The
rest
room dooropensandDannywal ksin.
Danny
:“bi
tchwhatwast
hat
?”
Me:“Idon’tknow.Ithi
nkHi sMaj est
yisdelusi
onalor
something.”Heburstsoutlaughing.“Thi
sisno
l
aughingmat terdearfr
iend.Hehasbeenl i
kethi
s
si
nceWednesdayori sitThursday?Iam notsure.
”I
sayt
akingpapert owelsandwi pingmyf ace.

Danny:“
itisrat
herinter
esti
ngwat chi
ngyoubei
ng
uncomfortabl
e.”Isquashthepapertowelandt
hrow
i
tinhisface.Hecont i
nueslaughi
ng.
Me:
“whataf
ri
endy
ouar
e.”
Danny:“hey
,Idi
dn’
tsaymaket
hepr
incef
all
head
overheelsi
nlov
ewithyou.
”
Me:
“ahhlet’
sjustgobackt
othet
abl
e.Iam
f
amished.
”
Danny
:“asy
ouwi
shmyqueen.
”Hebows.
Me: “fuckyou.
”Ipasshi
m andheadout.Helaughs
andf oll
owsme.Wesi tdownonthechairs.“
So
Afr
ika, howisthel
ongdist
ancer
elat
ionship?”he
smiles.
Afri
ka:“
Wear emaki
ngitworkbuthehasbeen
hi
ntingaboutcomi
ngtostayi
nJHBf orqui
tesome
ti
menow. ”
Me:“
that’
sgood.Sowhatar
ey ouri
ntent
ionsf
ormy
f
ri
end?”Dannyl
ooksatme.“Isitwrongofmetoask
t
hat?
”Afri
kasmiles.

Afri
ka: “
youarenotwrong.Idowishtotakeour
rel
ationshi
ptothenextlev
elbutIam goingt
owait
forthedist
ancemattertobesolved.
”
Me:“t
hat’
sgoodtohearbecauseify
ouwere
pl
anni
ngonplayi
ngwithhisfeel
i
ngs,Iwasgoi
ngt
o
ki
l
lyou.”Hel
aughs.
.
.
*
**KUHLE*
**
Ihavecont
act
edmymot herandaskedhertocal
lfor
ameetingwhi
chwill
benextweekendbecausethi
s
weekendIam goi
ngtoLi
bya.Ial
soaskedhertocall
Sthabi
l
e’sf
amilyt
obepresent
.Idon’
twanther
sayingwechasedheroutwi t
houtgoodr eason.I
wantev ery
onetoknowwhatki ndofawomanshei s.
Ireall
ywonderhowmyancest orswelcomet he
chil
drenintomyfamil
ywhent heydon’thavemy
bloodrunningt
hroughthei
rveins.

Futhyhasmadequi tethei
mpr essiononmysi bli
ngs,
evenLisa.Theyli
ter
all
ycallmeev erydaytoask
abouther.Theyhavebecomeanui sancebecause
everyti
met heybeli
ke‘whereissisFuthy?’‘
When
arewegoi ngtoseeheragain?’‘
Whenar eyou
bri
nginghertothepalace?’
theyareobsessed, Iam
tel
li
ngy ou.Myphoner i
ngsandt hecall
eri
sSt habi
le.
Hernameanger sme.Ianswert hecall.

Stha:
“heybabe.Howar
eyou?
”ev
enherv
oice
annoysme.
Me:
“Iam f
inedearwi
fe.Howar
eyou?
”
St
ha:“
Iam good,
justmi
ssi
ngy
ou.Theki
dsal
so
missy
ou.
”
Me:
“wewi
l
lseeeachot
hersoon.
”

St
ha:“whichbri
ngsmetothemessagef
rom y
our
mother.Shesai
dther
eisanur
gentfami
l
ymeet i
ng.
Whatisital
labout
?”
Me:“Iam cl
uelessl
i
keyoubutIguesswewi
l
lal
lfi
nd
outt
ogethernextweek.
”
St
ha:
“okayt
hen.Amahl
ewant
stospeakt
oyou.
”
Me:
“gi
vehert
hephone.
”Ihearsomeshuf
fl
ing.

Amahl e:“
howar ey ouAmahle’sfather?”heari
ngher
saythatjustbri
ngt earst
omyey es.Ihaveloved
thesechil
drenwi t
hal l
myhear teversincetheywere
born.Ihavenurturedthem andgav ethem myal l
.
Andnowt heyaregoingtobet akenawayf r
om me,
j
ustlikethat?

Me:“Iam fi
nedaddy
’spr
incess.Ij
ustmi
ssmy
pr
incessverymuch.
”
Amahl
e:“
mamasai
dwewi
l
lseey
ouatt
hepal
ace.
”
Me:
“yespr
incess.Daddywi
l
lseey
ousoon.
”
Amahl
e:“
lov
eyoudaddy
.”

Me: “l
ovey out ooprincess.”Ihangupandj ustcr
y.
Womenar ecr uelcreatures.WhenIam done
moppi ngaround, Igov isi
tmyl awyer
.Igettohisfi
rm
andgost raighttohisof fice.If
indhi
m shagginghis
secretar
y.“Iam sur ey ourorgasmscanwai t.My
mat t
erisver yimportant .
”Thesecret
arydressesup
quickl
yandr ushesout .

Phi
la:
“cockblocker
.”Hesay
sdr
essi
ngup.Il
augh
andsi
tont hecouch.
Me:“someofusar
eabst
aini
ngsoasi
fesonke.
”He
l
aughs.
Phil
a:“
iny
ourdreamsman.
”hesi
tsonhi
schai
r.
“HowcanIhel
py ou?
”
Me: “
Iwanty outodrawupdi vor cepapersfor
Sthabi
leassoonaspossi ble.Shehasbeenusi ng
mef oralltheseyearswehav ebeent ogether.The
ki
dsbel ongt oGary.Iwanthert or ecei
venot hi
ng
andIwantt heki
dst ogetmai ntenanceev erymont h.
Iwantsomeonewhowi llbuyt hem clothesandal l
necessiti
esev er
ymont h.Themoneymustnotgot o
Sthabi
le.”

Phi
la:
“wow.Iam sor
ryman.Idi
dn’
tknowyouwer
e
goi
ngthr
oughthi
s.Whendidyoufi
ndout?
”
Me:“
afewdaysago.Iwasst
il
ltr
yingt
oprocess
ev
ery
thi
ngandthi
nkofmynextsteps.
”Hesighs.
Phi
la:“
okay
.Youwil
lfi
ndthem r
eadyf
ory
ouwhen
youcomebackfr
om Li
bya.”

Me:
“thatwouldbever
ygoodmyf ri
end.Ihav
easked
f
orafamil
ymeet i
ngnextweekendwhereIam goi
ng
t
oexposeSthabi
le.
”
Phi
l
a:“
howar
eyouhol
dingup?
”heasksi
na
concer
nedv
oice.

Me:“t
aki
ngeachdayasitcomes.Iam goi
ngt obe
okaypl
usGodhasblessedmewi t
hamagni f
icent
woman,soIam goi
ngtobefi
ne.”Hesmi l
es.
Phil
a:“
youtalki
ngaboutt
hatf
ineassar
chi
tectsl
ash
engi
neer?
”Ilaugh.
Me:
“fucky
ou.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER56

Iti
sFr idaymorningandwear eatt heairpor
t.Weare
wai t
ingforZahandAr i
awhoar ecomi ngwithmy
dress.Al soDannyhasnotarri
vedy et.Iam notev
en
suret hatheiscomingornot.Leei stheonewhoi s
holdingmyphonebecauseshef eelsli
keIam
stressingandIkeeponcalli
ngt heot herswhohave
notar ri
ved.

ZahandAri
afinall
yarri
ve.Nowtheonlypersonwho
i
snothereisDanny.Iam goingtoki
llhi
m.Dad
keepsonl
ookingatKuhleandshakinghishead.I
knowhewantst osaysomethingbuthewon’ttal
k
nowasIam stil
lstr
essed.Fi
nall
ythequeenshows
up.Heisl
ookingallki
ndsofglam,you’dswearheis
goingt
oafashionshow.
Danny
:“Bl
uebabes,
Iam sor
ryIam l
ate.Ihada…”
Me: “
sav ei
t.
”Ir
aisemyhandt
ostophi
mfr
om
speaking.“
Kuhl
epleasel
eadt
heway.
”

Kuhle:“pl
easefol
l
owme. ”wefol
lowhimtowher e
thej
etisandwecl imbinsi
de.Weset
tl
einandthen
theplanetakesoff
.Dannycomesandsitnextt
ome.
Danny:
“areyouser
iousl
ygoi
ngt
oignor
emef
or15
hour
s?”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
Idon’
twantyourexcuseDanny
.Iam j
usthappy
t
hatyouar
ehere.
”

Danny
:“ar
eyou?
”heaskst
il
ti
nghi
sheadt
othesi
de.
Me:
“Iwi
l
lbeonceIhav
eacockt
ail
inmyhand.
”
Danny
:“dr
unkar
d.”Il
augh.Il
ookatmypar
ent
s.

Me:“mom anddadt hi
sisDani
el,
afri
endImadeat
Li
mpopoandt hatisAri
amyempl oy
eeandyouknow
Kuhl
e,t
heprince.Heismyfri
endandbusi
ness
associ
ateanddadstoplookingathi
ml i
kethat
.You
aremakinghi
m uncomfortable.
”Dadchuckl
es.

Dad:
“apol
ogiesforthatson.Idi
dn’
tmeanto.I
t’
s
j
ustt
hatIgetuncomf ort
ablewhenamanlooksat
mydaughterl
ikethat.
”
Me:
“li
kewhatdad?
”
Dad:“
heknows.Whatdoesamanhav
etodot
oget
abeerar
oundher
e?”

Kuhle:“
letmegoandtel
lthewai
tert
opr
epar
e
ref
reshmentsf
oryou.
”
Me:
“andbr
eakf
astf
orme.
”hesmi
l
es.
Kuhle:
“asy
ouwi
shmyqueen.
”Hequi
ckl
ydashes
off
.

Dad:
“myqueenhuh?Si
thul
esi
yabuka.
”
Noma:
“yesdad,si
thul
esi
yabuka.
”Shesaysgivi
ng
measmirk.Imout
ha‘Fuckoff
’andshelaughs.
Wel andaf terhoursoft r
avellingandt osaymybut t
i
ssor ewi ll
beanunder statement .Kuhle’
sjetis
comf ortabl
ebutIhat esit
ti
ngf orlonghours.Iam
happyt hatwear eal lgoi
ngt ot heRadissonBl ue
hotel.SomehowKuhl e’
sassi stantmanagedt oget
spacef orev er
yone.Wedr i
v et hereandchecki n.I
actuall
ygotapr esidenti
alsuitebutIam notshar i
ng
wit
hany one.Igett omyr oom, takeashowerf irst
andt hedr i
fttosleep.
.
.
Thef ol
l
owingmor ni
ngIam wokenupby
mov ementsinsi
dethesui
te.Isi
tupf
rom t
hebed
andlookaround.Iseeahelperwhoi
smov i
ng
aroundtheroom.

Me:
“canIhel
pyou?
”
Helper:“
you’r
eawake?Goodmor ni
ngandwel come
toRadissonBluhot el
.IwassentbyPr
inceKuhleto
giveyoualightbreakfastandt
owishyouall
thebest
fortoday.
”Ismile.Heraccentwhenmenti
oning
Kuhl
e’
snamei
sver
yamusi
ng.
Me:
“thanky
ou.Letmebr
ushmyt
eet
hfi
rst
.”

Igetupfrom thebedandheadt othebat hroom.I

brushmyt eet
handt hendecidet otakeaqui ck
shower.WhenIam doneIwr apat owel aroundmy
waistandgobackt othebedr oom.If i
ndt hebed
alr
eadymadeandt hehel pergone.Igot ot he
balconyandsmi l
ewhenIseeapl ateoff oodwi th
j
uiceandabl ueflower .Theprincei sromant ic.The
seav i
ewissobeaut ifulandact uall
yr ef
reshing.Isit
downandeatmyl i
ghtbr eakf
ast .It
’stwot oasted
sli
cesofbreak,anegg, 2stri
psofbaconand
tomatoes.

WhenIam doneeat i
ng,Iloti
onmybodyandget
dressedinwhitedr opshouldertopandspl i
tsi
de
skir
tsetwithwhi teHibaccisneakers.Icombmyhair
andletitf
alldown.Ihav et ofi
ndasal onheresot
hat
Icandosomet hingaboutmyhai r.Iwannachange
thecolour,
Ihav ebeenBl ueforfartoolongnow.I
packmythi
ngsi
nmyhandbagandheadout.Ij
ust
shakemyheadwhenIf
indmyguar
dsatthedoor.
Wegot ot
heAlminar
estaur
ant
.

Myf ami l
yandfri
endsarealr
eadysitti
ngatatabl
e.
Wej ointhem andbreakf
asti
sbr oughttoourt
able.I
guesst heyhadalr
eadyordered.Thefoodhereis
del
icious.Ayytherevi
ewIwillbegivi
ngwhenIleav e
thi
shot elwil
lbegood.

Danny:“
nofi
reantsthi
sti
mearound?”heasks
dr
inki
nghisj
uiceandIbur
stoutl
augh.
Lee:
“whati
shet
alki
ngabout
?”

Me: “
heee,Inearlydi
edinLimpopo.Wewentt othis
l
odgewher ewewant edtohavebreakfastandt hey
didn’
twannal etusinbecausewewer ebar efoot.
Someonet alkedsomesenset othehost essand
theyfi
nal
lyallowedusin,onlyt
oputf i
reant sinour
j
uice.Iwould’vebeen6sixfeetunderi
fi twasn’tfor
aheal
ert
hathel
pedme.
”

Dad:
“whydi
dn’
tyout
ell
ust
his?
”
Me:
“Idi
dn’
twannabot
hery
oudad.Pl
usIsur
viv
ed.
”
Mom: “butwedeservedt
oknowandweshoul
d
def
ini
telysuet
hatlodge.
”
Me:
“mom y
ouar
eex
agger
ati
ng.
”

Noma:“act
ual
lyIagr
eewi
thher
.”Il
ookatherwi
th
beggi
ngeyes.
Me:
“Nomacomeon.
”
Noma: “
Ihav
ebookedthespaf orus.Weare
headi
ngther
eafterwefi
nisheati
ngandaftert
hatwe
aregoi
ngtothesalont
oourhairandnail
s.”

Me:
“youar
edi
smi
ssi
ngme,
justl
i
ket
hat
?”
Noma:“yep.
”Kuhl
echuckl
es.Igi
vehi
m adeat
h
st
areandhejustr
oll
shi
seyes.
.
.
Wear enowpr eparingf ort
heawar dscer emony .I
havedy edmyhai rbr own.Imustadmi tIam goi ngto
missbei ngBil
l
ieEili
sh.Mydr essiswow!Imean
Simami soMthembuknowsherst uff.I
t’
sabeaut i
ful
Xhosabl ackandwhi t emermai ddresswi thapepl um.
Iam alsowear i
ngneckbeadsandabl ackheadwr ap.
Iam alsowear i
ngbl ackbutterfl
yandr hinestone
décorsandals.Ifeel l
ikeaXhosaqueenr ightnow.

Thedoortomysui t
eopensandi nentersmyZul u
pri
nceorshouldIsayXhosapr i
ncebecausewow.
Hei sweari
ngani cebl
acksuitandwhi t
eshirtwit
h
umbhacocl ot
h,aXhosabeadedt ieandheadband.
Hei sal
sowear i
ngblackfl
oweredprintperf
orated
dressshoes.Helookssohandsomer i
ghtnow.Fuck
Il
ov eyouKuhle.Hesmiles.

Kuhl
e:“
Iloveyoutoo.
”Inear
lyf
aint
.Di
dIj
ustdo
whatIt
hinkIdid?
Me:
“di
dI?
”
Kuhl
e:“y
es.
”Hecomesclosert
ome.“
Ilov
eyou
i
nfi
nit
yti
mesinf
ini
tymyqueen.
”

Me:“
Kuhlestop.I
tjustsli
pped.”Icovermyfacewit
h
myhands.“
Whatdi dIjustdo?”het akesmyhands
of
fmyfaceandpl acesthem inhischest.

Kuhle:“t
hisbeatsforyouonl y.Plusyouarerui
ning
yourmakeupbyt ouchingy ourface.Youlookso
beauti
fulbytheway .Li
kemyt rueAfricanQueen.”I
j
ustmel tli
kebutter
.Heki ssesmeandIj ustki
sshi m
back.Someoneknocksont hedoorandwequi ckly
breakthekiss.

Me:
“comei
n.”Isayt
aki
ngmycl
utchf
rom t
hebed.

Noma:“wowbabes.”shesaysandIturntol
ookat
herwi
thasmi l
e.“Di
dwemi ssthememo?Cozi t
l
ooksl
iketodayisyourweddi
ngday,bothofyou.
”
Kuhlel
aughsandIj ustgi
ggle.Sheislooki
ng
beauti
fulinabeigespandexstrapl
esssweethear
t
mermai dcourttr
ainf
ormaldressandgol dst
il
ett
o
heelsl
ip-onpoint
edtoelow-cutupperthi
nshoes.

Kuhl e:“i
magi nehowwewoul dl
ooklikeonour
actuall
yweddi ngdayke?”Nomal aughsandIjust
blushr ol
lingmyey es.ThedooropensandLeewal ks
i
nl ookingsobeaut if
ulinahualongsexydeepV- neck
capeemer al
dgreenjumpsuitandblackwidefi
t
Nov abar elyther
eheeledsandals.Myeyesjust
wat er.

Me:“
guyswhydoyouhavetolooksobeaut
if
ul?You
ar
esteal
i
ngmyspotl
ight
.”Theyal
ll
augh.
Lee:“Kuhl
epl
easetel
lherthatshel
ooksabsol
utel
y
stunni
ngandshelooksl
ikeat r
uequeent
hatsheis.
”
Me:
“aww.
”

Kuhl
e:“
myqueeny
oul
ookwonder
ful
,beaut
if
ul,
sexy
,
accompl i
shed,
andsuccessf
ul.Li
keyouareontop
ofthewor l
dandever
yonebowst oyou.Youar
ejust
perfect
”
Me:
“st
opt
alki
ngorIam goi
ngt
ocr
y.”Theyl
augh.
Noma: “l
ookatmecryi
ngli
keafool
.”Shesay
s
wipinghereyes.Ij
ustgi
ggl
eandlookuptostopmy
tearsfrom f
all
i
ng.WhenIfi
nal
lycal
m downIlookat
allofthem.

Me:
“okayl
et’
sgogetmyawar
d.”
Lee:“
that
’sthespir
it
.”Weheadoutandf
indt
he
other
satthecorri
dor.

Mabut
ho:“youl
ookbeauti
fulbossbutt
hiswil
l
compl
eteyourl
ook.
”Hesay shandingmeablack
andwhi
tebeadedknobker
riewhichmatcheswit
h
myoutf
it
.
Me:
“thanky
ouv
erymuch.
”It
akei
t.
.
.
Wear enowseat edatthefrontrowofTr i
poli
CongressCent re.WellIam seati
ngwi t
hKuhl e.I
chosehi mt oseatwithmebecauseMom i swi thdad,
Leewi t
hNoma, myguar dstogether,
Danny ,Ariaand
Zahar ebonding.Theshowi samazingreall
y.There
areAfricanandi nt
ernati
onalart
ist
sper f
orming.The
awardscer emonycomest oanendandonl yone
categoryislef
t.TheBestAr chit
ectoftheYear .The
presenterstar
tsspeaking.Iam soner v
ousr i
ghtnow.
I’
ddoany t
hingforashotofwhi skey.

Presenter
:“ar
chitectureshoul dspeakofitsti
meand
pl
acebuty earnfort i
mel essness.
”Thisisaquot eby
afamousar chit
ectFr ankGehr ywhodesi gnedthe
i
conicGuggenhei m Museum Bi l
bao.“Muchl i
kea
paint
edmast erpiece,architect
ureisanartformthat
hastheabili
tytodel i
ght,inspir
eandt r
ansform.In
purearchi
tecturethesmal l
estdetai
lshouldhavea
meaningorser veapur pose. ”
“Thef ol
lowingar chi
tectshavebeendoi ngv erygood
fort hemsel vesandhav ebeengi vi
ngt hei rclients
andf oll
ower suniqueandspeci aldesigns.Theyar e
allspeci alandtalented.Thenomi neesar e
Josephi neSheenf rom Oran,Al
ger i
a;Kost adinAr ri
go
from CapeCoast ,Ghana;MischaPr adof r om Juba,
Sout hSudan; Ntombi f
uthiCel
ef r
om Dur ban, Sout h
Af r
icaandPat ri
ckMuonagorf r
om Ni amey ,
Ni ger.
”
Wowal lthesenomi natedarchi
tectsar eamazi ng.I
hav eseent hei
rwor k.

“Andthewinnerwhoi salsoar ecipi

entof$1000
000from t
heAf ri
canAr chi
tectur
eOr ganizat
ioni
s
Ntombifut
hiCelefrom SouthAf r
ica.
”Ifreeze.Li
ke
whattheactualfuck.Iam broughtbackbyKuhl e
shaki
ngme.Il ookathim wi t
hmyey espoppedout.

Me:
“theyar
ecal
l
ingme?
”hel
aughs.
Kuhl
e:“
yes.Nowst
andup.
”
Me: “pleaseholdmebecauseIam shaki ng.
”He
standsupandhel psmet ostandup.Webot hwalk
tothest age.Thepr esenterhandsmet heawar d,the
wayIam shaki ng,ev enthisawar dfeel
sheav y
.Ilean
ont hepodium sot hatIwon’ tfal
l.Ist
artbeing
emot ionalandIknowt hatthisti
mear oundt hereis
nost oppingthetearwor ks.Iquicklywipethem and
clearmyt hroat.

“Wow.Umm Iam nochur chgoerbutIwoul df ir

st
l
iketothankGodbecauseal lt
hiswoul dn’
thav ebeen
possibl
ewi thoutHi m.Iwannat hankmypar ents,
Sij
abuli
leandSi yabulelaCel eforbelievinginmeand
mydr eamsev ersi nceIwasat eenager .Ouri ndust ry
i
sf i
ll
edwi thsuccessf ulment osuchanext entt hatit
mightscar eyout ost andoutandgoi ndependent .So
Iwannat hankmypar ent sagainforencour agingme
tochasemydr eamsev ent hought heyseemedl ike
j
ustfairyt
aleatf irst.
”Ist opandwi pemyt earsagai n
whichhav en’tstoppedf alli
ng.
“Iwannathankmyt wobestf r
iends, Dr.Lindelwa
NkosiandMi ssNomal angaBi yela,whohav ebeen
ther
eformef or12y earsandst il
l counting.They
havebeenmypi l
l
arsinallaspect soflifeandIt hank
them f
orthat.Ial
sowannat hankmyseconddad
andment orDr.Lethukut
hulaHl ongwaf orbeing
ther
eformeacademi cal
lyandf ort eachingme
almosteveryt
hingIknowt oday .Iwannat hankallmy
employeesforkeepingmyv i
sionf orDubandl ela
Constr
uctionCompanyal ivetil
lnow. ”

“Iwannat hankev erymemberofmyf amilywhohas

beent hereforme.Ial sowannat hankal lmyclients
forbeliev
ingonmeandt r
usti
ngmewi ththei
rhomes,
compani esandal l.Ialsowannat hankmydear
fri
endKuhl eforall t
hathehasdonef orme.”Itur nto
stareathim withasmi leandthent urnbackt ot he
audienceagain.“Ial sowannat hankal lmyf r
iends
forbeinghonestandunder standingwi thme.Ther e
i
snot hingweal lneedanddeser veliketruefri
ends. ”
“Ialsowannat hankmy self .
”Ev er
y onelaughs.“I
wannat hankmy selfforbel i
ev i
ngi nme, Iwanna
thankmy selffornotgi vingupev enwhent i
meswer e
diff
icul
t,Iwannat hankmy selfforbeinggoal dr
iven
andhungr yf orsuccess.Last l
yIwannat hankthe
Afri
canAr chitectureOrgani zati
onf orsucha
wonderful opportunity
.Mar tyNeumei eroncesai d
‘
Themosti nnov ativ
edesi gner sconsciouslyrej
ects
thestandar dopt i
onboxandcul ti
vateanappet it
efor
thi
nkingwr ong. ’
Thanky ouv erymuch. ”Igobackt o
myseat .Iam st il
lshakingbutatl eastthetearshave
stopped.

Kuhle:
“thatwasamazi
ngandcongr
atul
ati
ons.
”He
sayssmili
ngtome.
Me:
“thanky
ou.
”Ismi
l
eback.
.
CHAPTER57

Wegett othehot elhobby.IknowIam usedt o

wearingheelsbutIam kakt i
red.Zaht ookcareof
themoneyIwonsoi ti
sgoi ngt oref
lectonmy
personalaccountbyMondaymor ni
ng.Ithinki
t’s
safetosayt hatIwil
lbewor thbi l
l
ionsbyt heendof
nextyear.OMG!I t’
sactuall
yDecember .Ican’t
beli
eveIhav enotreali
zedthat .Butnoonecan
blamemet hough.Thelastcoupl eofday shasbeen
sobusy .

It
’sst
il
lthef i
rstweekofDecembersoit’
ssti
llokay.I
am al
soj usthappythatIam goi
ngtogiv
emy
employeesbonusesandi ti
sn’tgoi
ngtoleav
ea
woundinmyaccountoft hecompany’
saccount .
NomashakesmeandIl ookather.
Noma:“bei
ngamil
li
onair
ecanmakey
oubl
ackout
heh?
”sheasksandtheyal
ll
augh.
Me:“
noIwasjustthi
nki
ngt
hatIdi
dn’
treal
i
zet
hat
i
t’
sal
readyDecember.
”
Zah:
“yeah,
thepastmont
hhasbeensobusy
.”

Me:“youcansayt
hatagain.
”Kuhl
eclear
shi
sthr
oat
andscrat
cheshi
shead.“Whati
sit?
”
Kuhl
e:“anemergencyjustcamei
nsowehav
eto
l
eaveinabout30mi nut
es.”

Danny:
“andher
eIthoughtIwassti
llgoi
ngtomingl
e
wit
hthesefi
neAfr
icanbrot
her
s.”Theyalll
augh.
Noma:“okay.Let
’sgothen.
”Theyal
ll
eav
eme
st
andi
ngwi t
hKuhl e.
Me:
“whati
swr
ong?
”

Kuhl
e:“
Iwi
l
lsor
titout
,don’
twor
ry.
”
Me:
“okay
.”

Iheadtomysui t
e.Ifi
rsttakeoutmycl othesandgo
shower.WhenIam done, Igetdressedinmybl ack
Loyalt
ytr
acksuit
s,whiteadidassocksandbl ack
Versacepal
azzopool sli
ders.IputonaLoy al
ty
beanieonmyhead.Ipackal lmybelongi
ngsand
thenheadout.Zamoht akemyl uggageandweal l
headdownt othelobby.Wecheckoutandt hendrive
totheair
port
.
.
.
Wel andinSout hAf r
icaaround16:
00.Iam sotir
ed,I
needt osleep.Weal lheadtothecarsanddri
veout
oftheairport.Ij
ustputmyheadonThobeka’ slap
anddr i
fttosleep.Iam wokenupbysomeone
shakingme.Iwakeupandsi tupstrai
ght
.Iam
happyIam home, itl
ooksl i
keweareatthegarage.
Wegetoutandheadi nsi
dethehouse.Wegettothe
l
oungeandIj usthearSURPRI SEscreams.
Ijumpupandscr eam.WowIwasn’ texpectingthi
s.
Tear sjustroll
downmyey es.Theyal
lbombar dme
wit hhugsandki sses.Ev eryonewhoknowsmei s
her e,wellal
mostev eryone.Mostofmycl ients,t
he
Nt uli
br ot
hers,Kuhl e’sfri
ends, myempl oy
ees, my
fami l
y, mysecondpar ents(Mr.andMr s.Hlongwa)
andot herpeople.Iev enseemynei ghbors.

Me:
“wowhi
ever
yone.
”Theyl
augh.
Xoli
: “
comechangesot hatwecanstartthepar
ty.
”I
smile.Shel
eadsmet omyroom.Thereisapinkpain
patchworkhighwaistwidel
egsjumpsuitandbl
ack
Versacevir
tusleat
hermules.Myeyespopout
becauseIknowt heyarever
yexpensi
ve.

Me:“
don’tt
ell
mey ouboughtt
heseshoeswi
thy
ou
money.
”Shelaughs.
Xol
i
:“i
t’
sthel
obol
amoneyboss.Iam r
ich.
”
Me:
“NOMXOLI
SI!
”Iexcl
aim.Shel
aughsagai
n.
Xoli
:“ki
ddi
ng.Phumudzoi
stheonewhopai
dfor
them.”Ismi
le.
Me:
“letmefr
eshenupt
henIwi
l
ljoi
nyouguy
sina
f
ew.
”Sheleaves.

It
akeaqui ckshowerandthengetdressedinthe
cl
othestheyboughtforme.Idoaqui cknatur
al
make-upandthenheaddownst ai
rs.Ifi
ndthepeopl
e
IwentwithtoLiby
aindiff
erentoutf
it
s.

Me:
“youguy
sknewaboutt
his?
”theyal
ll
augh.
Kuhl
e:“
themai
nreasonwhywel
eftLi
byai
nahur
ry.
”
Me:“
wowyouconni
ving…”herai
seshi
sey
ebr
ow,
“
Handsomeman.
”theylaugh.

Lel
e:“okaylet’
sgoout si
de.”Hetakesmyheadand
l
eadsmet othebackyard.Wow.Thisismagnificent
.
Themar queisplacedont opofthepool
,welli
t
cover
st hepool.Thetablesandchair
saresetont op
oft
hepool .Thepool i
scov er
edwithapoolglass
cov
er.Il
ookatLel
e.

Me:
“youpl
annedal
lthi
s?”heshr
ugssmi
l
ing.
Lel
e:“somethi
ngl
ikethatbutIhadali
tt
lehel
pfr
om
Xol
i,ThandoandLindsay
.”Iat
tackhi
m wit
hahug.
Me:
“Il
ovey
oubr
oandt
hanky
ou.
”

Lele:
“Il
oveyoutoo.”Webreakthehugandhead
i
nsidethemarque.Theawardisalr
eadynextt
othe
cake.Thedécorisver
ybeauti
ful
.It
s3shadesof
pinkwit
hwhite.Heescor
tsmet omychair.

Me:
“thankyou.
”Isi
tdown.Li
ndsayandDannyt
ake
t
hemics.Yohthedr
amakenkosi.
Li
ndsay
:“heyguy
s,Iam Li
ndsay
.”
Danny
:“andIam Danny
.”

Li
ndsay+Danny
:“andwewel
comey
out
oFut
hy’
s
Cel
ebr
ator
ydi
nnerpar
ty.
”

Theycal lafewspeakerswhosespeechest ouchme.

Likeeveryoneissolovi
ng.Itwar msmyhear t.Iam
actuall
yshockedtoseeBusi her
e.Shel ookshappy ,
ormay beshei spret
ending,Idon’tknowandIdon’ t
care.LeleandSakhil
etakethest ageandper f or
m
theirl
atestcol
labowhichisdope.Thobekai sbusy
blushi
ngl i
kecrazyandIjustchuckle.IsignalGcino
tocomeandhecomest omyt able.

Gci
no:
“heysi
s.”
Me:
“hey.Tel
lthepersonwhoisinchar
geofthe
f
oodthatIam hungr
y .
”Hechuckl
esandleav
es.

Wellst
ar t
ershavebeenser vedbutIam v eryhungr
y.
Ineedrealfood.Luckil
yaftertheperformance
Dannyannouncest hatdinnerisserved.Foodcomes
andIdigininstantl
y.Whileeatingeveryoneturnst
o
l
ookatt heentrance.Ial
sot ur
nt oseetheZul u
royal
s.Dannyushersthem t
oav acanttabl
e.Iguess
theyknewthattheroy
alsarecomi ng.Theysi
tdown
andtheyarequickl
yservedwit
hf ood.

Danny:“IhaveneverfeltasimportantasIam feeli
ng
ri
ghtnow.Iam inthepr esenceoft heroyal
s,
cel
ebrit
iesandveryinfl
uential
peopl e.Bl
uemyf ri
end,
yourheartist
hereasonwhyev eryoneisheretoday.
Todaywegett oseey ourheartwi t
hourowney es
thr
oughal mosteveryoneinhere.”Igiggleandwipe
myey es.Thesepeoplear etur
ningmet oanonion.

Lindsay :“
ncooh,youaremakinghert earup. ”
ev eryonelooksatmeandIj ustcovermyf acewith
myhands.“ NeverthoughtIwouldseet hebossl ady
shy .Thingsarehappeninggoodpeopl e.”Ijustl
augh
remov i
ngmyhandsf r
om myf aceandt akeasi p
from myj uice.

Danny:“
wewoul dtocall
Dr.Hl
ongwatosayafew
wordsaboutoursuperwomanhere.
”Hl
ongwa
comest
othest
ageandt
aket
hemi
c.
Hl
ongwa:
“hi
angel
.”Ibl
ush.
Me:
“heydad.
”
Dad:
“yey
!”heshout
sandweal
ll
augh.

Hlongwa: “coul dn’tyouletmegetawaywi ththi

s?”
dadr oll
shisey esandIl augh.“Mypr i
ncessIam ov er
themoonaboutt his.I
t’
sl i
keIam theonewho
recei
v edthisawar d.Ihav ebeenboast i
ngt oalmost
everyonewhocar est ogivemet heiratt
ent i
on.Iam
l
ike‘thisismydaught er,shewast aughtbymeandI
ment oredher .
’ Yourspeechatt hecer emonywas
j
ustat i
poft hei ceberg.Thanky ouformaki ngme
proudandIwi shy ouallthebestinlif
enana. ”Istand
upandhughi m.It hengobackt omyseatandwi pe
myt ears.Heal sogoesbackt ohisseat .Leeand
Nomat akest hest age.

Lee:
“li
keDr.Hl
ongwa,Ial
sofeell
i
keIam theone
whowont hi
saward.Myfri
endIam sohappyfory
ou.
Youknowwhenwef i
rststrategi
zedDCCatr eswe
werelike‘ wear egoingt ojusthav eanof fi
cei n
Durbanwher ecli
entswi l
lcomeandseey ou’
.That
wasdur ingourf i
rstyear.Ast heyear swentby ,
inour
thi
rdy eary ouchanged.Ir emembert hisdaylikeit
wasy est erday.Yousai d‘l
istenbat ase,every
thingis
possiblewhenIhav easuppor tsystem li
key oursso
Iam goi ngt ostartahugecompany .Youknowmy
bursarypay sR3000al lowance, soIhav ebeen
savingR1500ev erymont h.’
.”nomat akesover .

Noma: “yousaid, ‘
Ialr
eadyhav eR36000i nmybank
mi nust hei
nterest.Iknowt hatDr.Hl
ongwai sgoing
togi v
emeani nt ernship.WhenIst artworki
ngIam
alsogoi ngtocont inuesav i
ng.Iam tell
ingyouwithi
n
6y earsIam goi ngt ost ar
tmyowncompany .”I
chokeonmyt ear sbecauseIcan’ tbeli
evethey
actuallyremembert hingsIusedt osayi nvar
sit
y.

Lee:“y
esweli
stenedt
oyou.Ev
enwhenyouwer
e
drunk,y
ouwoul
dmumbl et
hatonedayy
ouwoul
d
walkinar
oom andnothav
et ointr
oduceyour
sel
f
becausey
ourr
eputat
ionwil
lprecedeyou.
”

Me: “
juststoptal
king.
”Ist
andupandgohugt hem
ti
ght.Wej ustcr
yineachother
’sarms.Whenwe
havefinal
lycalmeddown,webr eakt
hehugand
ret
urnt oourseats.

Danny:“youguysarefr
iendshipgoals.
”Ichuckle.I
smil
ewi delywhenIseeDakal o,Maumela,Bonoand
Aluenteri
ngthemarque.Thepr ogram conti
nuesand
ti
mecomesf ormetosayav oteofthanks.Ist
and
andtaket hemic.

Me:“Idepl
etedmyEngl i
shbundl esinLibya.
”
Every
onelaughs.“
WhenIwasi nmyear l
yteens,
mom boughtmeadi ar
y,Iam prettysur
et owrit
e
howmydaywas, whoIsaw, whichboyIli
ked.But
i
nsteadofwr i
ti
ngIdrew.Whent heybothsawmy
desi
gns,dadbroughtasket chbookthatmont hend
homeandmom br oughtdrawingmat er
ial
s.Bythat
ti
meIdi dn’
tev
enknowwhatanadj ust
abl
etri
angleis
butIknewhowt ousei
t.
”Theylaugh.“
Mommy .
”She
l
ooksatmewi thasmil
e.Icl
earmyt hr
oatandstart
si
nging.

“
SeeIrememberl
i
kei
twasj
usty
est
erdaywheny
ou
t
oldme,
ThatIcoul
dbeany
thi
ng
Any
thi
ngi
nthewor
ldasf
arasIcoul
ddr
eam
Yougav
esomet
hingoutofnot
hingi
tspl
aint
osee
Godbl
essedyouwi
thagi
rlt
haty
our
aisedf
rom a
ki
dtoaqueen
Thanky
oumama.”Ist
opandmostpeopl
echeerand
scr
eam.Mom i
sacryi
ngmessr
ightnow.

Me:“
Lwandl
e’
sdad.
”Dadlooksatmewit
hasmile.
Hi
sarmisonhi
swif
e’sshoul
der
,comf
ort
ingher
.
“
Hedoesn’
tfi
ghtcr
ime
Orwearacape
Hedoesn’
treadmi
nds
Orl
evi
tat
e
Butev
eryt
imemywor
ldneedssav
ing
He’
smysuper
man
Somef
olksdon’
tbel
i
evei
nher
oes
‘
Causet
heyhav
en’
tmetmydad.

Hebui
l
tmeahousei
nthear
msofat
ree
Het
aughtmet
odr
ive,
andt
ofi
ght
,andt
odr
eam
Whenhel
ooksi
nmyey
esIhopehecansee
Thatmydad’
saher
otome

Mydad’
saher
otome
Mydad’saherotome.”Ist
opsingi
ngandl ookat
him.Hehashisheadbowed.Iknowheiscr y
ing.I
l
ookaroundandmostpeoplearesni
ff
ing.Iclearmy
thr
oat.
Me:“Iam sorr
yformakingyouguy semotional.It’
s
j
ustthatJabuandLelahasdonesomuchf orme
andIfeell
ikeasimpl
et hankyouisn’
tenough.They
aremywor ldandImightnotmaket i
met oseet hem
asoftenasIwishbutyouguysar esoimpor tantto
me.Iloveyousomuch. ”Tear
sfalldownmyey es
anddadcomest ohugme.Heki ssesmyf orehead.
Dad:
“Il
ovey
ousomuchmysecondl
ove.
”

Me: “
Iloveyout oomyf irstlove.”hecallsmet hat
becauseBusi i
shi sfirstlov east hefi
rstbornandI
am hissecondl ove.Webr eakthehugandhegoes
backtohisseat .“
Todayt heyfedmeoni onssot hat’
s
whyIam t eari
ngup. ”ev eryonel aughs.“Thankyou
Lel
ef ororgani
zingt his.Ilov eyousomuchbhut iand
Busi,
ThandoandGci no, Iloveyouguy ssomuch. ”

“
Thanky out oevery
onewhocame.Youguysar
eal
l
i
mportantandt hankyouf
orcomi
ngtothi
slast
minut
edi nner.
”
Lel
e:“
act
ual
l
yitwasn’
t.I
twasj
ustal
astmi
nut
eto
y
ou.
”hesay
sst
andi
ngnextt
ome.Ij
ustchuckl
e.

Me:“wel
lenj
oytherestofy
oureveni
ng.FYII
desi
gnedandbuil
tthi
shousefr
om scrat
chsothi
sis
oneofmydesigns.
”
Zah:
“lev
elsboss.
”
Me:“
nje.
”Isaysmir
kingandev
ery
onel
aughs.Danny
t
akesbackthemic.

Igoinsidethehouset ochanget othesli

dersIwas
wearingearli
eronandgobackout sidetomi ngl
e
withtheguests.Igot otheHlongwasf i
rstandhug
them.Theybr oughtthei
rador abl
ekidswith.Wehug
andtheyt el
lmet heyareleavi
ng.Wesayour
goodby esandtheyleave.Ithenheadtomy
grandparentswhoar esiti
ngwi t
htherestofthe
famil
y .

Grandmaki
ssesmeonthelipsandIgi
ggl
e.Gr
andpa
hugsmeandkissesmycheek.It
henmoveonto
someofmycl ientsandcol leagues.Weexchange
hugsandsomet ellmet hattheyareleaving.Ial so
got otheNt ulibrothersandt heycongratulateme.I
am happyt oseet hatthereisnobadbl oodbet ween
Sandi l
eandme.Ibi dfarewellsandthengot ot he
Womal enafami l
y .Theycongr atul
atemeandt hey
tel
lmet hattheygav et hegift
stoThando.Idi dn’t
evenknowt herewer egift
s.Ithenmov et otheZul u
royals.

Me:
“sani
bonani
andt
hanky
ouf
orcomi
ng.
”
Li
sa:“
wewouldn’
tmissi
tfortheworl
d.”Sheended
upnotgoi
ngt
oLibyabecauseshefoundoutthather
par
entsar
epl
anningondoingumemuloforher.

Mkhul
uli
:“y
ouar
ebeaut
if
ulsi
si.
”Ismi
l
e.
Sbo:
“weari
ngpant
sinthepr
esenceofyouri
n-l
aws
makoti
.Youar
egoingt
opay.”Il
augh.
Me:“i
fwewer
en’
tinmyhouse,
Iwoul
dent
ert
ain
you.
”
Mthembu: “
Ibeli
eveyouowemeanapol
ogymy
queen.”Il
ookathim andt
hencov
ermyf
acewi
thmy
hands.Theylaughatme.

Me:“t
hankyouforsav
ingmylif
eandIam sor
ryf
or
t
hreat
eningyou.
”hechuckl
es.
Mthembu:
“it
’swat
erundert
hebr
idge.
”Theki
ng
st
andsup.

Ki
ng:“t
akemet oyourf
atherMaCel
e.”Ismil
eand
l
eadhimt othepat
iowheremyfat
herisseat
edwith
hi
sbrothers.
Me:
“daddy
,someonewant
stot
alkt
oyou.
”he
smi
l
esandstandsup.
Dad:
“ol
dfr
iend.
”Theybr
ohug.Iguessdadf
orgav
e
hi
m.
CHAPTER58

*
**KUHLE*
**

Todayi sSaturday,thedayoft hemeet ing.Sthabil

e
wassupposedt oar ri
vey esterdaybutshecameup
withapet t
yexcuse.Ihav ebeencr y i
ngsi nceI
arri
vedherey esterday.Ididn’tev engodownst ai
rs
fordinnerl
astni ghtandbr eakfasttoday .I
understandthatIdon’ tfeel anylovel eftforSthabil
e
becauseIf el
loutofl ovef orherl ongago.Butt he
sit
uationwithmyki dsisv erydifferent.Thedoor
opensandmymot herwal ksi nwi t
hKaMahl aba,
dad’ssecondwi fe.

Iam cl
osewi
thal
loft
hem becauset
heyt
reatmy
mot herwellandt heydolovemyf at her.Thethi
rd
wifeisMaShezi .Sheisfrom Joziniandshehas4
kidswithdad.Dadhassupersper ms, Itel
lyou.The
fourthwifeisMaDubazaneandshei sfrom
Mhlabuy al
ingana.Shehas5ki dswi t hdad.Shehas
twopai r
soft wins.ThelastoneisMaMol ef
eandshe
i
sf rom Mokopane.Shei s3y earsy oungerthanme.

Shehas2kidswi t
hdad.Manysayt hatsheiswith
dadbecauseofmoneyandf ame.Iwouldsay
other
wisebecauseIhaveseenhowshei swi t
hdad
butaft
erwhatSthabi
ledi
dt ome,therei
snot hi
ngI
canputpastwomen.Mot herandKaMahl abasit
son
ei
thersi
deofmybed.

Mom:
“Konke.
”
Me:
“ma.
”
Mom:“
tal
ktous.Whati
swr
ong?
”Icov
ermyf
ace
wi
thmyhands.
Me: “ev
erythi
ngma.Fi
rstthingsfi
rst,
youdon’thave
grandchil
drenfr
om me.”Iremovemyhandsf rom
myf acetolookatt
hei
rr eacti
ons.Theyseem ver
y
shocked.

KaMahl aba:“whatar ey
out al
ki ngaboutSt huli
?”all
mymot hershav easpecialnamei nwhi cht heycall
me.Mymot hercall
smeKonke, KaMahl abacal l
sme
Sthul
iwhi chismycl anname, andMaShezi call
sme
NkosanabecauseIam t hef i
rstprince.MaDubazane
call
smeHl ehle.Iknowit’
sagi r
l’
snamebutshei s
mymom andIhav easoftspotf orallthesewomen.
MaMol efecallsmeKgosi whichmeanski ng.

Me:“maSthabi
lehasbeenusi ngmeal l
thi
stime.
Sheneverl
ovedme.Shewasj ustusi
ngmef ormy
fameandwealthandsecuri
ty.Thekidsarenotmine.
Sheisdati
ngmynumberonenemesi s.Theyhave
beentoget
herf
orav er
ylongtime.Evenlongbefore
wemet .
”
KaMahlaba:
“yoh.
”shestandsup.“Letmegocal
l
yourot
hermothers.
”Sheleaves.
Mom:
“howdi
dyouf
indoutaboutt
his?
”
Me:“whatdoy
out
hinkLi
sai
sdoi
ngbacki
nthe
count
ry?
”

Mom: “Iam sorr

ybabazi
.”Shehugsmet i
ghtand
shesniff
s.Iknowhowshel ovemykidssot hi
smust
al
sobehar donher.Myot hermot
herswalkinand
si
tonthebed.MaShezi sit
sonthecouch.Shehasa
spi
ri
tualgif
tsosometimessheisol
ateshersel
f.

Me: “
didyouknowma?
”Isayl
ooki
ngather
.She
shakesherhead.
MaShezi:“
yoursneakyancestorsaresecr
eti
ve
Nkosana.Theycanbefrustr
atingsometimes.
”
MaMol
efe:
“whati
sgoi
ngonKgosi
?”mom nar
rates
t
hewhol
estor
yandwhenshei
sdonetheyal
lcry
.
MaDubazane:
“nowwhati
sthewayf
orwar
dHl
ehl
e?”
Me: “Iam goingtodiv
orceherandbanishherfrom
here.ButIam st i
ll
goi
ngtot akecareofmykids.
Justt hatIwon’tgi
vehermai nt
enancemoney
becauseshemi ghtmaint
ainhersel
fandfor
get
aboutt hekids.
”

KaMahlaba:“
youarekindheartedSthul
i
.Iwoul
d’v
e
ki
ll
edherifIwereyou.Thisbit
chhasbeentoyi
ng
wit
hy ouandyourfeel
ingsformorethan8year
s.
Div
orceandbani snotenoughpunishment
.”
Me:“f
athercandeci
deonani nt
ensi
vepuni
shment
butf
ornowt hat
’swhatIam goi
ngtodomyself
.”

Mom:“Iwi
shitwassti
l
ltheol
derdaysbecauseshe
woul
d’v
ebeenstonedt
odeath,Iam t
ell
i
ngyou.”
Me:
“mom t
hinkaboutt
heki
ds.
”

MaMolef
e:“shedi
dn’
tthi
nkaboutt
hem whenshe
usedt
hem asapawninhergames.”Someone
knocksont
hedoorandt henent
ers.I
t’
sthehead
maidandhousekeeper
.
Housekeeper
:“YourMajest
ies,
theGcabaf
ami
l
yhas
ar
ri
ved.”Mymot her
sstandup.

Me:“pl
easebei
ngmyki
dst
omer
ightnow,
theki
ds
onl
y.
”
Housekeeper
:“YourMaj
est
y.”Shel
eav
es.
MaShezi
:“wewill
seey oudownstai
rsNkosana.I
t’
s
ti
metoplaygoodhost.”Theyal
lheadout.Few
momentslat
erthekidsgetinandrusht
omybed.
Theyat
tackmewi t
hhugs.

Amahl
e:“
Amahl
e’
sfat
her
.”
Me:“daddy’
spr
incess.Imi
ssedy
ousomuchmy
pr
incess.
”
Amahl
e:“
Imi
ssedy
out
oodad.
”
Me:“howabouty
ouchamp?Di
dn’
tyoumi
ssme?
”he
r
oll
shiseyes.
Zweli
:“youknowImissedyoudad.Ther
eisnoneed
formetospelli
tout
.”Il
aughbecauseheisal
ways
l
ikethi
s.
Amahl
e:“
hewascryi
ngyest
erdaybecausemom
sai
dwecoul
dn’
tcome.Hesaidhemi sseddad.
”

Zwel
i:
“ sni
tch.
”Hesayswanti
ngtohi
ther.Ist
ophi
m
byt
akinghim andput
ti
nghim onmylap.
Me:
“youknowIl
ovey
our
ight
?”
Zwel
i
:“Il
ovey
oumor
edad.
”Hesay
shuggi
ngme.

Amahle:“
Ial
solovey oudad.
”Shesaysjoi
ninginon
thehug.Wethenbreakitandtheysi
tinf
rontofme.
Me:“whatwouldyousayi
fIwer
etot
ell
yout
hatI
am notyourr
ealdad?
”
Amahl
e:“
no!”sheshoutsandstar
tscr
ying.“
Youar
e
mydaddy
.”Itakeheri
ntomylap.

Me:
“Idi
dn’
tsayIwasn’
tyourdad.Iam y
ourdadand
youaremyf ir
stpri
ncess.”IlookatZwel i
whol ooks
sad.“Andyouaremyf ir
stpr ince.
”Ihughimt oo.I
thoughti
twouldbeeasyt ol etthem gobutitisnot
.I
havedecidedthatIam goingt ofil
eforpri
mar y
custodyofthem.Thandisil
e, whoi sMaMolefe’
s
l
astborncomet otakethem andt heygototheplay
room.Igetdressedformallyandt henhead
downstair
s.

Me: “morningeveryone,Iwoul dli

keustogot ot he
conferenceroom.”Isayandgot her
e.Theyfoll
ow
me.Ii ndi
catemyheadbody guard,Mpendul
ot o
foll
owus.Wegeti nsideandset tl
edown.Thepeopl e
i
nher earemyf ather,3oft hecouncilmember s,my
dad’s2y oungerbrothers,SboandNompi l
owhoi s
KaMahl aba’sf
ir
stborn,Sthabile,
hermot her
,father,
sist
er,auntandthreeuncl es.

Mr.Gcaba:“nowcanwegetdownt obusiness?”he
saysinafi
rmt onebutIknowthatwil
ldisappear
soon.Isi
gnalMpendulotocomef or
wardandhe
handseachandev eryoneev i
denceaboutSthabil
e’
s
mischiefs.Theyallstar
treadi
ngandsomegaspas
theysucki ntheinf
ormat i
ononthepapers.Isi
gnal
Mpendul oagainandt histi
mehehandsSt habil
e
anothersetofpaper s.Hereyespopoutandshe
rai
sest hem tolookatme.

St
habi
l
e:“
Kuhl
eI…”
Me: “
saveit.Thosepapersstat
eclearl
ythatIam
divor
cingyouandy ouarenotgoingtogetacent
from me.Youar eal
sobanishedfrom everent
eri
ng
theroyalgr
ounds.”MaShezigruntsandweal ll
ook
ather.

MaShezi :“theancestorswanty outocleansethe

royalgroundswi t
h3goat s.Oneforeachchildand
onef orthemot her.Assoonaspossi blebecauseif
youdon’ t,
y ourki
dsar egoingtodie.Theancestors
wil
l showt heirwraththroughthem.”Sthabi
lesnif
fs.
Whatwassheexpect ing?Playi
ngtheroy al
ancestorsandget t
ingawaywi thi
t?
Me:“
alsoIam goi
ngtofil
eprimar
ycust
odyformy
ki
dsmeaningtheywi
l
l cont
inuest
ayi
ngwit
hme.”
Sthabi
le’
ssist
er:“t
hat
’sabsur
d.Youcan’tdot
hat
becausetheyaren’
tyourki
ds.
”Ichuckl
e.

Me: “
Ihavebir
thcerti
ficat
esstat
ingotherwi
seandif
wewer etogot ocourtwhowoul dbeli
eveamere
commonerov erapr i
nceandaf utur
eking?”she
shutsup.“Youwill
gett ospendweekendsand
schoolhol
idayswiththem butnotal
ltheholi
days.
”
St
habi
l
e:“
Kuhl
ecomeon.
”

Me:“si
gnthepapers.
”Shesit
sst
ill
.Ichuckleagai
n.
“I
fyoudon’
tsi
gnt hem Iwi
l
lsueyouforallofthe
moneyIhavespentonAmahleandZwel iand
brot
herhowmuchi sit
?”
Sbo:
“roughl
ysev
enf
igur
esbaf
o.”Shegasps.

Me: “
aft
erthatIwi
l
lpubl
i
cizethediv
orceandit
s
cause.Youwantmetodot hat
?”sheshakesher
head.Shetakesthepeninfr
ontofherandsigns.
“Don’tev
enthinkofpl
ayi
ngmewheni tcomest omy
babiesbecauseyouwil
lregr
etit
.Nowwhenar eyou
comi ngt
oappeasetheancestor
s?”Mr.Gcaba
clearshi
sthroat
.

Gcaba:“wewillsee.MaybeinGoodFriday.
”Uncl
e
Sakhisi
zwelaughs.Heistheprobl
em solv
erwhil
e
UncleSakhumuzi i
sthehotheadedone.Theyare
twi
ns.

Sakhi
sizwe:“
aweeki sall
youhave.Youhavefooled
them l
ongenough.Thereisnoneedtowaitany
l
onger.Ify
oudon’t
, St
habil
e’
schil
drenwi
lldi
ewithin
twoweeks.Maket heri
ghtchoi
ce.”
Mr
s.Gcaba:
“fi
ne.Wewi
l
lcomebacknextSat
urday
wi
tht
hegoats.
”
Me:
“that
’sgoodt
ohear
.”

Ki
ng:
“nowl
eav
e.I
fyoudon’
tcomebackonFr
iday
youaregoingtoregr
etit.Notonlywi
llthekidssuff
er
butyourwholefamil
ywillfeel
mywr ath.LEAVE!”he
shoutswit
hadeepv oiceandt heyal
lgetupquickly
andrushout.

Mom: “nowwhoisthisfamousMaCelepeopl
ehave
beenwhisper
ingabout?
”SboandIlaughwhil
edad
chuckl
es.
Nompi
l
o:“
Ial
sowoul
dli
ket
oseeher
.”

Sbo:“j
ustGoogl
eherf
am.AndIam sur
esheis
goingtocometoLi
sa’
sumemulobecauseshei
s
fondofher.
”
Sakhumuzi:
“Ihopeshei
sn’
tasconni
vi
ngas
Sthabi
l
e.”
Sbo:“t
hatoneisaself
-mademill
ionai
re
babomncaneandsoonshei sgoi
ngt obea
bi
ll
ionai
rebecausesheisver
ywiseandgoaldr
iven.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER59

*
**KUHLE*
**

It
’stwoweeksaf t
ert hemeet i
ngwi ththeGcaba
fami l
y.Theydidcomeandappeaset heancestors.
Mt hembut henadv i
sedmet opayl obolaf
ormyki ds
sot hatIcanbuyt hem andthattheycanusemy
surnamewi t
houtget t
ingsi
ck.Wewentandpai d
l
obol athefoll
owingMondayandal somadeahuge
ceremonyatt hepal ace,of
fi
ciall
ywel comingthem in
thef amil
yandgivingt hem mysur namer i
ghtfull
y.

Myfri
endPhil
acamethroughforme.Inowhav eful
l
cust
odyofmykids.Mydivor
ceisalsofinal
i
zed.Iam
nowtrav
ell
i
ngwithdadtoDurban.Lisa’
sumemul oi
s
thi
sweekend.Iam goingtotalktoFut hyandtel
lher
every
thi
ngandpossiblyinvi
tehertoumemul o.I
hopeshedoesn’thaveplansalready.Thekidsareat
theGcabafamil
ybuttheyarecomi ngbackonFr i
day.
Imadesuretheygowi thguardsandaper sonal
maidsothatSthabi
lewon’ttryanything.

Me:“dadIwanty outogotel
lyourfri
endthatIam
bri
nginglobolaforFuthyi
nthesecondweekof
January.Idon’twannawaitl
ongt omakehermy
wif
eandIdon’ twanthertobej ustmygir
lfr
iend.
”He
l
aughs.
Dad:
“hav
eyout
alkedwi
thhert
hough?
”

Me:“Iam goi
ngtherenow.Iknowshel
ovesme.She
sai
ditsohersel
f.Andwherether
eisl
ove,
ther
eisa
way.
”
Dad:“howromant i
c.”Hesay
ssarcast
icall
y.Il
augh
andhealsolaughs.Wegettomyhouse.Ichange
andthendri
vetoherhouse.Ifi
ndherwi t
hher
fr
iendsandsibl
ings.
Me:“sani
bonani
.”Theyal
lgr
eetmeback.“
CanI
hav
eamomentMaCel e?”
Futhy
: “
okay.”Shest
andsup.Fuckshei swearing
bum short
sandaspor tsbra.Youcani maginet he
l
evelofsexinesssheisshowing.“Let’
sgot othe
backyardbecauseit
’shoti
nher e.
”shel eadstheway
andIfoll
owher .Myeyesaregluedt oherhipsand
ass.“
StoplookingatmyassKuhl e.”Il
augh.

Me:
“Ican’
thel
pit
.”
Fut
hy:
“per
ver
t.
”

Me:“
wellIam y
ourper
vertsodealwi
thit
.”She
gi
ggl
es.Isi
tononeofthepoolchai
rsandpull
hert
o
si
tontopofme.
Fut
hy:
“cont
rol
yourdi
ckKuhl
e.”Il
augh.

Me: “
ithasami ndofi
tsown.”Sherol
l
shereyes.
“Ther
ei ssomethi
ngIneedtotell
you.
”Isayi
na
seri
oust one.
Futhy
: “
Iam al
lears.
”Inarr
atethewholeSthabi
le
sagaandhermout hfal
lswideopenwhi l
ehereyes
popout.Shetakesti
met ocalm down.“Sothat
’s
whyy ouwerecryi
ngthatday?”Ichuckl
e.

Me:
“your
emember
?”
Fut
hy:“mymindcapt
uresmanyt
hingsandi
mages.I
am sor
ryt
hatyouwentthr
ought
hat.
”

Me:“Iwil
lbef
ine.Ij
ustwantyoutoagreet
obemy
gi
rl
fri
end.
”Sheclear
sherthroatandt
ri
estomov
e
butIhol
dherdown.
Futhy:“
don’
tyout
hinkyouaremov i
ngont
oof
ast
?I
don’twannabeareboundKuhl
e.”

Me:“youwoul d’
vebeenoneifIdidn’
tloveyouprior
theSthabil
esaga.RememberhowmuchIl ovedyou
andev enwishedtodiv
orceSthabil
ebeforeallt
he
secr
etscameout ?”shenods.“Ilov
ey ouFuthywith
myall andIwoulddoanythi
ngt ohaveyouasmy
f
utur
ewi
fe.
”Shegi
ggl
es.

Futhy
:“don’
tt el
lmey ouareproposing.
”Shesays.I
j
usttakeoutanengagementr ingfr
om mypocket
andsli
deitintoherri
ngf i
nger.Hereyespopout
.
“Kuhl
eIdidn’tsayyes!”sheshouts.
Me:
“youdi
dn’
tsaynoei
ther
.”Shel
aughs.

Fut
hy:
“youar
ecr
azy
.”
Me:
“andy
oul
oveMe.
”shegi
ggl
es.
Fut
hy:“
youbetyourassIdo.
”Shecupsmyfaceand
ki
ssesme.Iki
ssherback.Wefi
nal
lybreaki
t.

Me:“
Ihopeyouhaveyourout
fi
treadyf
orumemul
o
kaLi
sa.
”Shesmil
es.
Futhy:“
shehasbeenr emindi
ngmeabouti
tdayand
ni
ght.You’dswearIam theonecomingwi
th
Umhl wehl
we.”Il
augh.“Bytheway,
mysibl
ingsand
fr
iendsarecoming.
”
Me: “
ther
eisnoguestli
stMaCelepl
usthisisaroyal
event.Manypeopl
earegoi
ngt obet
here.Ialsohave
toint
roduceyoutomymot her
sandsibl
ings.”
Fut
hy:
“youar
emov
ingt
oof
ast
.”

Me: “
MaCeleIam aprincesoIam notgoi
ngt
ohave
alongengagement.IdidsayIam goi
ngtowi
fey
ou
onGoodFr i
day.
”
Fut
hy:“
howcanIf
orget
?”shesay
ssar
cast
ical
l
yand
Il
aughather
.
.
.
*
**FUTHY*
**
Thishasbeenagr eatyearforme.Manyt hingshav e
happenedatDCC, greatt
hingsandaf ewpr oblems
butIam happywithhowweendedoury ear.Ihave
gi
v enmyempl oy
eest hei
rbonusesandt osayt hey
wer ehappywoul
dbeanunder st
atement.Wecl osed
downoneoft heclubswher ewecelebratedand
drankliket
her
eisnot omor r
ow.
Iam happythatIam goingtolaunchmyJHBof fices
i
nMayandmyCapeTownof fi
cesinJune.Ican
alr
eadyforeseethegoodr esul
tsofthi
sexpansi
on.I
am thi
nki
ngofsendi ngZaht obetheCEOoft he
Jo’bur
gbranchbecauset hat’
swhereMbusoi s
basedbutshewi ll
havetopr oveher
selff
orthefi
rst
fourmonthsnexty ear
.

Cany oubeli
ev ethatIreconcil
edwi thBusi?Wel l
she
fi
nall
ytoldmet hatshewasj ealousofmef rom a
youngage.Shewasj eal
ousofmybeaut yandmy
passi
onatesel f.Shewasj eal
oust hatIhadbi g
dreamsatay oungagewhi l
eshehadnoambi ti
ons
atall
.Iunderstoodherr easoningandf orgaveher.I
am notabitt
erper sonsoIdon’ thol
dgr udges.We
arenotbestfriendsbutwear eokay.

RightnowIam l azi
ngaroundwit
hmysibli
ngs,
Gcino
andThando, Lee,NomaandZah.Wewer esupposed
togot othebeachbecauseit’
shotbutwedeci
dedto
got oni
ght.Whil
echatt
ing,Kuhl
ecomesin.heasks
forachancet ospeakwithmeandIl eadhi
mt othe
backyard.Iwasnotexpecti
ngev er
ythi
nghetol
dme.
From theSthabi
lesagatothesuddenengagement.
Lovecanmakey oucrazyItel
lyou.

Me: “
aren’
tyousupposedtobeatNongomasot
hat
youcanmoni t
orthatever
ythi
ngi
sdone
accordi
ngl
y?”
Kuhle:
“Icamet
oseey
ou.Iam goi
ngbackt
omor
row
midday.”

Me: “okay ,
let’
sgobacki nsi
desot hatIcangety ou
somet hingt oeatanddrink.
”west andupandhead
i
nsidet hehouse.Igett otheloungeandl ookatmy
fr
iends.“ Bi
tchesguesswhoi sget t
ingmar r
iedandis
goingt obecomet heonlyqueenoft heZulukingdom?
Notet heuseoft hewor donly.
”Theyj umpup
screami ngandcomet ohugme.Il augh.

Noma:
“letmeseet
her
ing.
”Ishowt
hem t
her
ing.
Lee:“
it
’sbeaut
if
ul.Ican’
twai
tfort
hewedding.Fi
rst
everweddi
ngtohav etwomaidofhonor
s.”
Noma:
“yest
ase.
”Igi
ggl
e.

Me:“wil
lseey
oujustnow-now.Ihavetomake
somethi
ngtoeatf
orfutur
ehubby .
”Theyscr
eam.
Zah:
“fl
exwenabossl
ady
.”Il
augh.
Thando:
“Iam sohappyf
ory
ousi
si.
”Shehugsme
agai
n.

Gcino:“Iam justt
hinki
ngoffthechi
cksIam goi
ngto
getnowt hatIhav
eaZul upri
nceasabrotheri
nlaw.
”
Wej ustlaughathim.
Me: “come.”Ipull
Kuhletothekitchen.Hesitsonthe
barstoolandIstartmov i
ngaround.Idishforhimthe
foodIcookedear li
eronandser vehim.Ialsotakea
bottl
eoff l
yi
ngf i
shfrom thefr
idge,openitandgive
i
ttohi m.“Focusont hemeat,that’
swher eIpoured
thelovepotion.
”Hel aughs.
Kuhl
e:“
thef
oodi
sdel
i
cious.
”
Me:
“myhandsdonotonl
ydr
awbutt
heycancook
t
oo.
”Hegi
ggles.

Kuhle:
“youareperf
ect.Andbeforeyoulectur
eme
aboutnobodyisperf
ect,youaretome.Wi thal
lyour
i
mper f
ecti
ons,fl
awsandweaknesses.Youar e
perf
ectandenoughforme. ”Ibl
ushandt akeouta
dumpyi nt
hefri
dgesot hatIcancoolmy sel
fdown.
Hechucklesandcontinueseati
nghisfood.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER60

Ididn’thaveadr essforumemul okaLisabutwhenI

calledSimami so,shetoldmet hatshehasthree
traditi
onaldressedf ormeandt woeveninggown.
Shesai dthatshehasappoi nt
edhersel
fasmy
personal designer.IlaughedatthatandIam just
thankfulbecauseIwasf reaki
ngout.Shesenta
pictureofoneoft hedr essesandIboughtmat chi
ng
heel sandclutch.

Todaywear egoingt oNongoma.I t

’sFr
iday.Kuhle
bookedusal odgebecauseIdon’ twannacome
backlateatnightasifIam r unni
ngawayf r
om
somet hi
ng.Ourrelat
ionshipiscutebutIhav en’
ttol
d
otherpeopleandmypar entsabouttheengagement .
Iwill
tell
them tomorrowwhenIcomebackf rom
Nongomabecausei
tisChr
ist
masday
.

Igetup, maket hebedandgoshower .Ithenloti

on
mybodyandt hengetdr essedinanudeone
shouldersol i
dbody condr esswi t
hwhi t
ev ans.Ipack
extr
acl othesf ortonightandtomor r
owi nmy
overnightbag.Ial sobackmymake- upand
cosmet ics.Itakeev eryt
hingIneedandhead
downst airs.Whi l
emaki ngcoffeemyphoner ings.I
chucklewhenIseet hatit’
sav i
deocal lf
rom Kuhle.I
answeri t.

Me:
“kumkani
.”
Kuhl
e:“
Kumkani
kaz
i,y
oul
ookbeauti
ful
.”Hesay
s
smil
i
ng.Hei
sweari
ngashor
tsl
eevedti
ghtt-
shi
rt.

Me:
“thanky
ou.Whyar
eyouupsoear
ly?
”
Kuhl
e:“peopl
ehavebeensince3am her
esthandwa.
Mybrotherssl
eptat4am andIam onmywayt o
wakethem.”Ipl
acethephoneinanangl
ethathe
canbeabl
etoseemeandcont
inuemaki
ngmy
cof
fee.

Me:
“whatmadet
hem sl
eepi
nthemor
ning?
”
Kuhle:“
theydrankal
lni
ght.Theyareluckysomeof
them haveroomsoutsi
dethepalacebecausedad
wouldhav echasedt
hem out.
”Ilaugh.
Me:
“don’
tbehar
shwhenwaki
ngt
hem.
”

Kuhl
e:“nobabe.Theywerecar
eless.Iam goi
ngt
o
wakethem wit
hcoldwater.
”
Me:
“yuhIdon’
twi
sht
obei
nthei
rshoes.
”Hel
aughs.
Kuhl
e:“
whenar
eyougoi
ngt
odepar
t?”

Me:“assoonasIam doneeat
ingmycereal
.Idon’
t
car
eiftheother
sar
enotready.WhenIam done,
I
am l
eaving.
”
Mabut
ho:“hauboss.Whendi
dyoust
artt
obet
his
cr
uel
?”Il
augh.
Kuhl
e:“
eversi
nceshecamebackf
rom Li
bya.
”
Me:“
y ouar
esupposedtobesi
dingwi
thme.
”Isay
whi
ningandhelaughs.

Mabutho:“
butIam goi
ngt
obedoneinafew
minut
es.Kuhl
eknowshowqui
ckitt
akesusmen
t
aketogetready.
”
Kuhle:“
yeahbabe.2mi
nut
esforshower
ing,
1
minuteforl
oti
oni
nganddr
essi
ngupand2mi nut
es
forpacki
ng.
”

Me:“t
hat’swhysomeoft hemenst inkbecausethey
arei
nar ush.
”Theybothlaugh.Mabuthogoest ohis
room.Iknowhewasi nthein-housegym.“Babygo
onwithwhatyouaredoing.Seey ousoon.”

Kuhl
e:“
Ilov
eyou.
”
Me:
“Il
ovey
ou.
”Ihangup.
.
WepassbyEmpangeni totakemydr essandthen
dri
vest rai
ghttoNongoma.Wer emember edtobuy
gi
ftsforLi sa.Shemaynotbeamat eri
ali
sti
cperson
butIknowev eryoneenj
oysgifts.Iam withZamoh,
Mabut hoandDannyi nt
hecar .Wear edrivi
ngthe
AstonMar ti
n.Lelei
sdri
vingtheX1wi t
hThobeka,
GcinoandThando.NomaandLeear ewithBabalwa
andGi ftinLee’sSUV.ZahandXol i
willbecoming
wit
ht heirbaes.

Danny:“Bl
uewhati
sthatonyourfi
nger
?”Ichuckl
e.
Heisoneofthepeopl
eIhaven’
ttol
daboutmy
rel
ati
onshi
pwit
hKuhle.
Me: “
it
’sanengagementri
ng.Iam engagedtosome
pri
ncenj ewet
hu.I
thappenedsofast.Sorr
yIdi
dn’
t
tel
lyou.”hefr
owns.

Danny:“
whoi st
hispri
nce?”Mabut
hoandZamoh
l
augh.Hiseyespopout.“Owwhellno.
”Hel aughs.
“OMG!”heshouts.“
When?Howdi dithappen?”
Me:
“asIsai
d,i
tal
lhappenedt
oof
ast
.”
Danny
:“whatabouthi
swi
fe?
”

Me:
“hei
sdi
vor
ced.
”
Danny
:“whydon’
tthemedi
aknowaboutt
his?
”
Me:“
hewi l
laddr
essitaft
erumemulo.Theex-
wif
e
won’
tevenbetherebecauseshei
sbanishedf
rom
t
heking’
sland.
”

Danny:“
whathappened?
”Dannymaybemyfri
end
butt
hatdoesn’
tmeanIshoul
dtel
lhi
m Kuhl
e’
s
secr
ets.
Me:
“Idon’
tknowf
ri
endbuti
tmustbehuge.
”
Danny
:“soy
ouguy
sar
esneaki
ngar
ound?
”Il
augh.
.
.
Wegett oNongoma,fir
stcheckintot
helodge.I
fr
eshenupi nmyroom andchangetoablueand
whit
eballgown.Iam notint
hemoodofshowi ngmy
asstoday.Thegownissleevel
essandhasfeather
s
coveri
ngt heupperar
eaandabel tbelowt hebr
east
s
wheret hebott
om partst
art
.Ipairi
twi t
hawhi t
e
opent oelegchunkyheel
s,ablueandwhi tehead
scarfandblueandwhi t
eshoulderscarf.

Iheadt othel obbywher eIf i

ndmyf ri
endsl ooking
goodandr eadyt ogo.I t
’sal r
eady2pm andt he
ceremonyst ar tedat12:30.Wedr ivetothepal ace.
Whenwegett herewehar dlyfi
ndapar ki
ngspace.
Wepar kont her oadandMpendul ocomest oourcar.
Het el
lsust hatweshoul df oll
owhi m becauset her
e
areparkingspot sdesignat edforus.Wepar kthere
andheadt owher etheev entisat.Iam wear ing
glassesbecauseIdon’ twantpeopl etoseemywei r
d
eyes.Atleastnotnow.

Mpendul ol
eadsustoamar que.Wegett her eandsit
down.Ilooktowherethemai densareat .Theyar e
l
ookingsobeauti
ful.Theyaresinginganddanci ng.
Li
sal ooksl
ikeatr
uepr i
ncesswhi chshei s.Ilook
aroundandIspotthekingwi t
hhisbr ot
her s.His
wivesar esi
tt
ingnotf arfr
om hi
m.Kuhl eandhi s
si
blingsandhi sf
riendsaredressedintheirZulu
att
ires,amabheshuf orthemenandbeadedski rt
s
andbeadsf ortheladies.Theyarewearingtheir
si
gnat ureani
mal pri
ntfabri
cont hei
rshoulders.

Lisaspot sus.Shesmi l
esandstart
sasong.She,
withabakhaphi bakhe,cometowher eweareseated
whi l
esingi nganddancing.Shestabsthespearon
thegr oundi nfrontofmeandt henheadbacktothei
r
origi
nal place.Thelookswear egetti
ngnoware
dramat ic.West andupwi thourgi
ftsandgoto
wher ethemai densareat.Shekneelsandmyfri
ends
startpinningmoneyonherhead.

Whent heyar edone,theystandbackandIf orwar

d.I
askoneofherf ri
endst or
emov ethemoney .Theydo
soquickly.Istar
tpinningR200not esalloverher
headandbeads.Peopl eareevenst andi
ngand
l
ookingatusi nawe.WhenIam donepi ningthe
money ,IplaceagiftbaginfrontofLisaandt hen
t
urn.Theot
her
sal
sopl
acegi
ft
sbagi
nfr
ontofLi
sa.

Onourwaybackt oourmarque,theZulubrother
s
stopusbydoi ngtheZul
udancei nf r
ontofuswhich
i
scal l
edukugiya.Manypeopl
eul ulat
eandothers
scream andmendowhi stl
es.Kuhl esur
pri
ses
everyone,ev
enme, whenhekneel sinfr
ontof
everyoneandputabeadedbr aceletonmyleftwri
st.
OMG!Whydi dhehavetodot hat?

Noma: “gi
vehimy ourwat chwhi chsymbolizest
hat
youaccepthisproposal.”Ilaughandcov ermyface
withmyhands.It henremov ethem,takeoffmyMK
oversi
zedLaytonPav éRosegol d-
tonewatchand
putitonhiswrist
.Hest andsupandki ssesmehard.
Peoplecheersohar d,y
ou’ dswearhehaswont he
l
ottery.

Me:“st
op.Youarest
eal
ingLisa’
sspot
li
ght.”He
l
aughsandgoesbacktohisseat.Wealsogoback
t
oourmar que.Wesi
tdownandIf i
nal
lybreathe.
“
Whatt
hef
uckwast
hat
?”myf
ri
endsl
augh.
Danny
:“y
ouwi
l
lbet
rendi
ngi
nnot
imebabes.
”

Me:“God.”Igroan.Someladi
escometowherewe
areseat
edandgi veuscoldbott
ledwat
er.“
Thank
you.
”Iopent hebottl
eanddownalmostall
ofit
.
Danny
:“t
hatt
hir
sty
?”
Me:“
youwil
lunder
standwhenAfr
ikapr
oposest
o
youi
nahugeconcert.
”Hel
aughs.
.
.
Thef i
rstsessionoftheev entcomest oanendand
peoplemov etotheframet entwhi chisalsoint
he
yard.Thispalaceisveryhuge.I talsohave
beautif
ull
ybui l
trondavel
s.IfIwasn’ tKuhle’
s
gir
lfr
iend,Iwouldgoar oundl ookingatthem
becauset heirdesi
gnenticeme.Oneoft heladi
es
fr
om ear l
ieronleadsust oourt able.Wegetset t
led
i
nandt hewai t
ersbri
ngst art
ers.
Fewmi nutesl atertheroyalsmakethei
rwayinand
weallstandup.Theki nglooksmywayandwi nksat
me.Igiggle.Theyf inal
lysitdownandtherestofus
fol
l
owsui t.Thespeechesandper formancesstar
t.I
am sothirstyrightnow.Iwoul ddoanythi
ngfor
i
nguduoff l
yingf i
sh.

Me: “Zamohpleasegetmeal cohol thatisint he

coolerbox.Fi
ndawayt omakei tdiscrete.
”He
l
aughsandheadsoutwi t
hGci no.Lat elunchi s
servedandImustsayt hef oodisv erydeli
cious.
ZamohandGci nocomebackandhehaspour edthe
alcoholi
nmyj uicebott
le.“Andpeopl ewonderwhyI
hiredyou.
”helaughsandhandsmet hebottle.Itake
asi pandsomet hi
ngcalmsdowni nsideme.Lee
takesthejui
cebot t
leanddr i
nks.

Lee:
“damn.I
sthi
sthef
lyi
ngf
ishonl
y?”
Zamoh:
“Iaddedv
odka.
”
Noma: “
letmet ast
e.”Shet akest hebottl
eandtakes
asip.“Damn.Canweski ptot hedrinki
ngbahlal
i
?”
wel augh.Thebot t
lecircul
at ear oundthetabl
eand
that’
sact ual
l
yfunny .Thepr ogr am comet oanend
andsomepeopl egooutandsomeeatmeati n
groups.Wai t
ersbringciders, beerandv odkai
nour
tabl
e.

Danny
:“Iguesst
heysawhowt
hir
stywear
e.”We
l
aughagain.
Me:
“br
ingmybot
tl
ebackt
hen.
”Theyl
augh.
Zah:“t
ouswhoar enotatthei
rin-
lawshouse.
”She
takesabeerandopensit
.Theylaughatme.These
i
diots.

Me:“shoul
dn’
tyougoeatmeatwi
tht
heot
hermen?
”
Isaylooki
ngatMabut
hoandZamoh.
Mabut
ho:
“wear
ewor
kingher
eboss.
”Ir
oll
myey
es.
Thobeka:“It
hinkBabal
waandIcanhandl
eany
dangerthatmaycomeourway.”
Zamoh:“f
ine.
”Him,
Mabut
ho,
Gif
t,Lel
oandGci
no
l
eavethetabl
e.

Me:“whyareyousti
ll
her
e?”Isayt
oDannyandwe
al
lburstoutl
aughi
ng.
Danny
:“ngi
zokut
hol
a.”
Me:“paybackf
orl
aughi
ngatmeont
hatdoubl
e
di
nnerdate.
”
Danny
:“whoeverthatsai
dyoudon’
thol
dgr
udges
wasly
ing.
”Ilaugh.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER61
SPONSOREDCHAPTER

Itislat
erightnow.Somepeopl ehav eleftandsome
arecomi nginfortheaft
erparty.I
tlooksl i
keiti
s
goingtobehugebecauset heorganizersseemst o
beset t
ingupf orahugeconcert.Iam sot i
red.Ij
ust
wannagobackt othel
odge,takeawar m bathand
sleep.

Me: “
Iam sotir
ed.Iam goingt
ogetZamohdr i
veme
backtothelodge.”Ist
andupandIfeelsomeone
wrappingt
heirarmsaroundmywaist.Ismil
e
becauseIknowi t
’sKuhle.

Kuhl
e:“
wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
”hesay
stur
ningme.
Me:“
Iam ti
redsoIwantMabut
hot
odr
ivemeback
t
othelodge.
”
Kuhl
e:“
buty
ouhav
en’
tmetmyf
ami
l
y.”

Me: “Iwil
lcomebackt omorrowmor ning.Theyare
probablyti
redandsleepy.Iam suretheyaregoingto
wantt oknowmebet t
er.Si
ncey ouhav edeci
dedto
tel
lev er
yoneaboutuswi t
houtmyper mi ssi
on.
”He
smilesandperksmyl ips.

Kuhl
e:“
Iam sor
ryf
ort
hat
.”
Me:
“andy
ouar
egoi
ngt
opayf
ort
hat
.”
Kuhl
e:“
Idon’
tmi
nd.Letmedr
ivey
out
othel
odge.
”
Me:“seeyoul
aterguy
s.”Isaytomyfri
end.Kuhl
e
andIheadout
.Wegett ohiscarandhedri
vesusto
thel
odge.

Whenwegett
here,
weheadtomyroom.Iquickl
y
t
akeof
fmyclot
hesandheadtot
heshower.Itur
non
warm waterandstepinside.Itisj
ustsor
efreshi
ng.
Theshowerint hi
slodgeisv eryhugesoImov e
fr
eely.Thewatercascadesdownmybody .Theheat
ofthewatermakesmehor nyact ual
l
y.

TheshowerdooropensandmyZul upr i
nceget si
n.I
i
gnorehi m andstar
ttouchingmy selfprovocati
vely.I
mov emyhandsupanddownmybody .Heisn’t
doingany thing.Heisjustl
ooki ngatme.Il ookdown
athisdi ckandIsmi l
ewhenIseei thardandr eady
foraction.Iturntofacetheot herside,hegr absme
from behindandhugsmecl ose.Hebendshi sknees
andIf eelhisdickinbetweenmyl egs.

Hestart
skissi
ngmyneck.FuckIj ustwanthim
i
nsidemet hi
sinstant.Hereachesforthebodywash
andlat
hershishandsup.Hi shandsmov eacrossmy
body.Onehandmov esacrossmyst omach,my
boobsrestonhisforearm andtheothermakesits
waydownt omycooki e.Hemanagest ohi
ttheri
ght
spotandImoanl oudly.Mybreathi
nggetsshall
ow
ashemov
eshi
shandupanddown.

Hehol dsmycl itbetweenhisi ndexandf orefinger

andhisot herfinger
sspr eadmypussyl i
psapar t.I
grabhisot herarmtost eadymy sel
fbecauseIf eela
l
itt
ledizzy.Hei nser
tsonef i
ngeri nsi
deofme.Igr i
p
hisarmt i
ght l
yanddi gmyf ingernail
sintoit.Ifeel
sorryforhim becausest i
let
tonai l
scanbr uiseyou.
Her emov eshishandf r
om mycooki e,bendsmeand
thenshov eshisdickdeepi nsideme.FUCK!
.
.
Heendedupnotgoi ngbackhomelastni
ght.I
tfelt
real
lygoodfall
ingasleepi
nhisarms.If
eelcomplete
andcontent.Iopenmyey esandlookathi
m.Hei s
sti
ll
sleepi
ng.Igetont opofhi
m andpokehisface.I
pokeitunt
ilhesmi l
esandopenshiseyes.
Kuhle:
“youar
esuchanui
sancey
ezwa.
”Hegrabs
bothmyhandsandIl
augh.“
Youl
ooksobeaut
if
ul
ri
ghtnow.”
Me:
“andy
oul
ookugl
y.
”Hechuckl
es.

Kuhle:“
youwish.
”Hesit
supandki
ssesme.Hethen
puthishandsundermybut
tandst
andsupwit
hme
tangl
edinhisbody.
Me:
“don’
tdr
opme.
”hesmi
l
es.
Kuhl
e:“
nev
er.
”

Wegett othebathr
oom,brushourt eeth,showerand
dryourbodies.Wegobacktot hebathroom andf i
nd
i
tsqueakilycl
ean.Whi
letaki
ngclothest owearfrom
mybag, someoneknocksont hedoor .Kuhleat
tends
tothedoorquickl
yandcomebackwi thabag.I
fi
gurethatsomeonebroughthim cl
othes.

Igetdressedinaforestgreenandwhi
tel
aceinsert
ruf
fl
edet ainchai
nprintbl
ouseandsat
inski
rt
.Ipair
i
twithabl ackpowert r
ipt
ieleghi
ghbl
ockheelsand
ablackheadscar f
.
Kuhl
e:“
youl
ookver
ybeaut
if
ulandt
hanky
ouf
ornot
showi
ngmyass.
”Il
augh.
Me:
“you’
recr
azyandIam notdoi
ngi
tfory
ou.
”

Kuhl
e:“coul
d’vefool
edsomeonebutnotme.”Iroll
myeyes.Ipackallmyclothesi
nmybagandwe
headout.Mabuthotakesmybagandputiti
nt hecar.
“Byt
heway ,dadhasinvi
tedall
ofy
ouforbreakfast
.”
Danny
:“y
ay!Wear
egoi
ngbackt
othepal
ace.
”Weal
l
l
aughathi
m.

Wegeti ntothecar sandwedr i

vetothepalace.Thi
s
placelooksmuchbi ggerwithoutmanycar sand
peoplegoingupanddown.Wecl i
mbof fthecars
andwegeti nsidethemai nhouse.Iti
sreall
yhuge
andbeaut i
ful.Therearesomanydesi gnsgoi ngon
here.Iam justlookingaround.Someonecl earst
hei
r
throat
.Ilookatt hi
sbeaut i
fulwomani nfr
ontofme.

Woman:
“you’
reanar
chi
tectr
ight
?”Inod.“
Andy
ou
knowmanySout hAf
ricanar
chi
tectsi
gnatur
es?”I
chuckl
eandnodagain.“Whodoyouthinkdesi
gned
thi
shouse?
”Ilookar
oundagainandsmi l
e.
Me:
“wasfi
rstbui
l
tbythelateProf
essorTony
Mur
phyandwaslaterr
enovatedbyStephani
e
Mol
oi.
”

Woman: “
greatobser
vati
on.Iam MaDubazaneby
theway.Hl
ehle’
sfourt
hmot her
.Iwasanengineer
onceuponat i
me.”
Me:
“Iam Nt
ombi
fut
hiCel
ema.Whoi
sHl
ehl
e?”she
smi
l
es.
MaDubazane:“
him.”hesay
spoi
nti
ngatKuhl
e.Il
ook
athi
m andchuckl
e.

Me:
“cut
ename.
”hegi
vesmeani
nti
midat
ingl
ook.
Kuhl
e:“
Iam goi
ngt
o…”
MaDubazane:
“noti
nmypr
esence.
”
Kuhl
e:“
sor
ryma.
”Awwt
hisi
ssocut
e.
MaDubazane: “comet hi
ssidesot hatyoucansee
yourothermother-i
n-l
aws.”shepul l
smet ot he
corri
dor.Wewal kafewmoment sandwegett othe
kit
chen.Wowi t’shuge.Therearefewol derwomen
whom Ipresumear et hewivesandaf ewl adi es.
“LookwhoIf oundwonder i
ngi nthehallway s.”They
allt
urnandlookatme.Thi swomanmar a.Shef ound
meatt hedoorandnowshesay sshef oundmeat
thehall
way.Wonder snevercease.Shepul l
sme
i
nsidethekit
chenandpoi ntstoabar stool.“Youcan
sit
.”

Me:“sani
bonani
.”Igr
eetandt
heygr
eetback.It
hen
si
tdown.
Woman1: “y
oul ookj
ustl
ikey
ourfat
her.Si
yahas
goodgenes.”Thewomanwhoseemsol derthanal
l
thesel
adiessay.“Iam Mamkhul
u,Konke’
segg
donor.
”Igigglebecauset
hatmeanssheisKuhle’
s
biol
ogi
calmot her.

Me:
“ni
cet
omeety
ouma.
”Ist
andandhugher
.The
ot
her
sal
soi
ntr
oducet
hemsel
vesandweshar
ehugs.
MaMol efe:
“gosett hetabl
e.Wewi l
lfol
lowy ou
shortl
y.
”Sheor dersthemaids.Theytaketheser v
ing
dishesandthenheaddownt hehall
way .Sheisthe
l
astwi f
e.Sheisv erybeaut
if
ulandat hi
ckwoman.
Shemaybey oungt hanKuhlebutshelooksolder.
Youknowhowuschubbywomenal wayslookolder
thanourages.

MaShezi
:“howdoyoufeel
aboutget
ti
ngmar
ri
edt
o
t
heroyal
family
?”Ishr
ug.
Me: “Idon’
tknowhowt ofeel.I
thasbeensol ong
sinceIhavebeeni narel
ati
onship.I
tdoesn’thel
p
thatKuhledidn’
tgivememuchofachoi ce.Iguessi
t
hasn’tsankin.
”theychuckl
e.

KaMahlaba:“i
twill
,i
ntime.Nowl et
’sgo.”Wemake
ourwayoutoft hekit
chenandtheyleadmet ot
he
di
ninghallwherethewholefamilyi
sat ,
exceptthe
ki
ds.Myf amilyandfri
endsarealsohere.Weset t
le
downandIsi tnexttoKuhl
e.Igreeteveryoneel
se
andtheygreetback.Peopl
estar
tdi
shi
ngup.Idi
sh
formysel
fandKuhl eandthensi
tdown.

King:“wearesohappythatyoucouldjoinusthi
s
mor ni
ngMaCele.Aft
erthedramat hatmyson
causedyester
day,ev
ery
oneher ehasn’tstopped
tal
kingaboutyou.
”Ismileandtakeasipofwat er.

Somet hi
ngtel
l
smet hatIshoul
dlookaroundt he
room.SoIlookar oundandInearl
yfaintwhenmy
eyeslandataJameson’ smamba.Iunf reezeand
thenj
umpupscr eaming.Ever
yonestopswhatt hey
aredoingandlookatmel ikeIam cr
azy.

Me: “
bataselet’
sgo.Let’sl
eav ethi
splaceandnever
comeback. ”Isaylooki
ngatLeeandNomawhi l
emy
breat
hingisn’
tsteady.Iam shaking.Ihav
ethi
scrazy
phobiaofsnake.Iam ophidiophobic.

Noma:
“whati
swr
ongt
ase?
”sheaskscomi
ng
towardsme.Ipoi
ntatt hesnakewhichhaswrapped
i
tselfar
oundthestatueoftheking.Shel
ooksatthe
stat
ueandthenlookatmewi t
hconcerninhereyes.
“Therei
snosnaket here.
”

Me: “
Iam serious.Ther
ear esnakesinthisplace.We
needtoleave.Weneedt ogo.Ican’
tstayinapl ace
withsnakes.Iwon’t.Ir
efuse.
”Tearsstartflowing
downmycheeks.“ MabuthoandZamohst andthe
fuckupsot hatwecanl eavethi
splace.Ican’tdeal.
”
Kuhlestandsupandhol dsmyhands.
Kuhle:
“ cal
m downFut
hynot
hingisgoingt
ohappen
toyou.”Ishakemyheadmul
tipl
etimes.

Me: “
don’tfuckent el
lmet hat.OwmyGod, t
hisisit
.”
Iremovemyhandsf rom hisholdandplacethem on
topofmyhead.“ Iam fi
nallygoingcr
azy.”The
snakesslidesdownt hest atueandstar
tmaki ngit
s
waytot hetable.“Iam notgoingtostandhereand
waitforthesnaket ocomet omeandki llme.”
Kuhl
e:“t
hat
’sj
ustr
idi
cul
ousFut
hy.Br
eat
heandl
ook
atme.”
Me: “owmyGodhei stell
i
ngmet ocal
m downwhile
asnakei smakingit
swayt owardsme.May bethe
royal
swor kwithsnakes.May betheywanna
sacri
ficeme.Noy oucan’t.Iam amul t
imil
li
onai
re
andIhav enodescendanty et
.Youcan’tki
l
lme.”I
shakemyheadmul ti
pleti
mes.Thesnakemakesey e
contactwit
hmeandt heni tstar
tsmakingit
sway
towar dsme.Iscr
eam outl oud.

MaShezi
:“andy
outhoughtIwasdramati
c.”She
say
schuckli
ngwhi
l
el ooki
ngatKuhle’
smom.
Me:“sheislaughing.Shei
slaughi
ngatmymi ser
y.I
am goingtodie.Ithi
nkIcanfeelahear
tat
tack
cr
eepingin.OMG!OMG!OMG! ”
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER62
SPONSOREDCHAPTER

Thesnakest opsmov i
ngandj uststaresatmelikeit
i
sdev ouringmewi thitseyes.Ilookaroundthetable
andIseet hekinghav i
ngasat isfi
edlookonhisf ace.
Heisrejoicinginthis.Hisfir
standt hi
rdwivesare
smili
ng.Theyseem t obehappy .Kuhl
e’smom clears
thethroatandst andsup.Shecomest omeandI
stepback, notwant i
nghert ogetanycl oser
.Whati f
shewant st ofeedmet othesnake?Shequi ckens
herpaceandt hengr absmyhands.Ishakemyhead
whil
et earsaref al
l
ingdownmycheeks.

MaDl
omo:
“pl
easecal
m down.
”
Me:
“no.no.y
ouwantmet
ofeedy
out
oyoursnake.
”
Shel
aughs.
MaDlomo:“
Lel
awoul dprobabl
yburymeal i
vei
fIas
muchasharm asi
nglestrandofhairony
ourhead.
Nowdescri
bethesnaketoandt el
lmewhereiti
s.”I
t
st
il
li
ssit
ti
ngonthetable.

Me:“i
t’
saJameson’ smamba.Itisgreenanditi
s
si
tt
inginf
rontofSbo.”Sbowassitt
ingopposit
eme.
Hejumpsupandt henlooksati
t.Otherpeopl
ealso
j
umpupasi ftheyarenowseeingit
.

MaDlomo:“thatisourancestr
alsnake.Itdoesn’
tli
ve
i
nthepalaceorar oundhere.I
tonlyshowsi t
self
whenawi f
echosenbyt heancest
or senter
sthe
pal
ace.
”Iswal l
owhar d.MaShezialsostandsupand
cometowher eIam at .

MaShezi:
“cal
m downsisi
.Itmeansy ouarechosen
andfavor
edbytheancest
or s.YouareNkosana’
s
chosenone.
”Shehugsme.Ist arthy
pervent
il
ati
ng
andmybodyshakesv igor
ousl
y.Myfeardoesn’
t
washof funt
ilIhav
ecalmeddownorbeen
hypnot
ized.

Lee:“
FUTHYSNAPOUTOFI TMAN!”shei
sal
ready
nextt
omeandshakingme.If
eel
mybodygoi
ng
downandit
’sl
i
ghtout.
.
.
*
**KUHLE*
**
Irusht
oherandpi ckherup.Iwal
kwithhertothe
l
oungeandplacehercar eful
l
yonthecouch.It
hen
removehershoes.Theot her
scometothelounge
soonaft
erandstartcrowdingher
.

Me: “
canwepleasegivehersomespaceto
breat
he?”t
heyallsi
tdown.IlookatLeeandNoma
whobot hl
ookangry.“
Cany outel
lmewhatjust
happened?
”
Noma: “
no.youtel
luswhatj usthappened.Futhy
hasthi
shugephobiaofsnakes.I t
’srealandsheis
real
l
yscaredofthem.Whensheseest hem
someti
mesherhear tstopsorbeatsv eryf
ast.Aft
er
themathshestart
sbei ngparanoi
dandhal luci
nates
orevenhavenight
mar es.Youshould’vewarnedher
aboutyourcr
eepyancest r
alsnake.
”

Lee:“
ifhedid,sheprobabl
ywoul
dn’
thav
ecome
herei
nt hef
irstpl
ace.”
Me:“
wellIdidn’
tknowshewasmychosenone.I
j
ustwentforherbecauseIl
oveher
.”
Thobeka:“
isshegoi
ngt
obeokayt
hough?
”sheasks
l
ookingatNomaandLee.

Lee:“
itwil
ltakemay beaweekfort
hingstogoback
tonormal.Justknowy ouwi
l
lhavetodosomemaj or
convi
ncingforhertocomebackhere.”herphone
ri
ngs.Shelooksatitandcur
sesunderherbreath.
Noma:
“whati
sit
?”Leeshowshersomet
hingont
he
phoneandNomaal
socur
sesi
nal
owt
one.
Me:
“whati
sgoi
ngon?
”

Lee:“
babai
saskingwhereweare.Weal
way
sspend
Chri
stmasDayatMorni
ngsi
de.
”
MaShezi:
“youcan’
tleav
ewhil
eshehasn’twoken
up.
”Nomaopensherphoneandst art
stappi
ngonit
.
Shethenhandsthephonet
omyf ather
.

Noma: “youhavet ocal

lhim andtel
lhi
m what
exactl
yhappenedbecausei fIam theonetocall
,
he’dprobabl
ythinkwear ejusthung-
over
somewher eandt henhewillpuni
shus.”dadtakes
thephone,tapitandthenplacesitonhisear
.He
stepsfarawayf r
om usandst art
stal
king.Af
tera
whilehecomesbackandhandsNomat hephone.

King:“
hesayshei sgoi
ngtoover
char
geyoul obol
a
forthi
sinci
dentandIknowheisnotj
oki
ng.”Hesits
downonhi ssingl
ecouch.“
Tel
lmeaboutthisphobia
ofher
s.Howi
ntensei
sitandwher
edi
ditst
art
?”

Lel
e:“bef
oreIstarttalki
ng,canthekidsleave?Thi
s
i
sr at
herasensit
ivet opi
c.”Theyleaveandtheonly
peoplel
eftaremyf ather,hi
swives,Sbo,Nompilo,
Lee,Noma,theguar ds,Dannyandot her
s.
Me:
“wear
eal
lear
s.”

Lele:“sisihasalwaysbeenchubby ,sincebi r
th.You
knowhowki dsusedt oteasechubbyki dsinschool.
Wel l
shewasnoexcept ion.Wewentt ot hesame
school .Iwasdoi nggrade5whi l
eshewasdoi ng
grade9t hatti
me.Shewasnev erthetypet ocr y
whent easedbutsheal sodidn’
tstandupf orhersel
f.
Shewoul djustgiveyouav eryi
nti
mi datinglookto
suchanext entthatyouwi l
lendupapol ogizing.
”

“Sheal
way sconf
rontedki
dswhobul li
edmeor
Thando.Thisot
herdaywewer egoingtoatri
pin
school
.Itwasfortheoddgrades.Grade3,
5,7,9,11
buttheyincl
udedgrade12.Wewentt ouShaka
DangerousCreatur
es.Shedidn’
twannagothere
becauseshewasaf rai
dofsnakesbutsheendedup
goingbecauseshewant edt
oguardme.”

“Therewast hisguyshel i
kedandev eryoneatschool
knewbutshedi dn’
tactcrazyaroundhi m.Hewas
doinggrade11.I nthatparkyouar eal l
owedtohold
orpethar mlesssnakes.Sothisguyt ookasnake
andpl ay
edwi thit
.Mysi st
erwasj ustwat chi
ngme
from adistance.Thisguymadeami stakebyputti
ng
thesnakear oundherneck.Shej umpedup
screaming.Iam notaf r
aidofsnakessoIwentt oher
andt ookitoffherbutitwastool ate.”

“Shestart
edhy perv
ent i
l
atingandshaki
ng.Shewas
screamingandcr yi
ng.Sheat t
ract
edattenti
onto
hersel
f.Oneoft heteacherscameandt ri
edtocalm
herdown.Shej ustfaint
ed.That’
showherf earof
snakesmul t
ipli
ed.Daddi dsomethingt
ot heguy
becauseInev ersawhi m agai
n.Dadisvery
overpr
otecti
veofhisdaught
ers,
especi
all
yherso
goodluck.”Hestandsupandheadsout.Thobeka
fol
lowshim.

Me:“letmetakehert
omyroom.
”Ipickherup.Lee
pi
cksuphershoes.Weheadtomyroom andIplace
hercaref
ull
yonthebed.
Lee:“
takeofft
hedressandherbraanddressheri
n
somethingcomfor
tabl
e.”Shepl
acestheshoesona
rug.

Me: “okay
.”Sheheadsout .Iundressherandgether
dressedinmysweat pantsandov er
sizedshi
rt.It
ake
offmyshoesandgett obed.Iplaceherheadi nmy
chestandwr apmyar msar oundher .“Il
oveyoumy
chosenone.”Iplantasoftkissonherheadandt hen
cl
osemyey es.
.
.
IwakeupandIl
ookar
ound.Iam i
nar
oom Ihav
e
neverbeeninbef or
e.Kuhlehashishandswr apped
ti
ghtaroundmybody ,Iswearheisactinglike
someonei sgoingtost ealme.Mymi nddr i
ftsback
toearl
iereventsandIt ryt
ocalm down.Theysai d
i
t’sanancestralsnakebutIam stil
lscaredofi t
.I
fr
eemy sel
ffr
om Kuhle’sarmsandhequi cklyopens
hiseyes.

Kuhl
e:“
arey
ouokay
,baby
?”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“Iam f
ine.Justal
i
ttl
ehungry.
”Hesi
tsup.“
What
ti
meisit?
”hecheckonhi sphonewhi
chi
sonhis
bedsi
detable.
Kuhl
e:“
15:
28.
”

Me:“wow.Can’tbel
ieveImi
ssedChr
ist
masl
unch
andIcan’
tbel
ievethisi
smyfir
stChr
ist
masaway
fr
om home.”
Kuhle:“l
et’
sgoeat
.”Hestandsupandwearshi
s
sl
iders.Icl
earmyt
hroatandhelooksatme.
Me:“Iam pr
ett
ysureyouarenotexpecti
ngmet ogo
downstai
rsweari
ngyoursweatpant
s.”Helaughs.
Kuhl
e:“y
ourbagisontheclosetwhi
chi
sthatsi
de.
”
Hepoint
stothedir
ect
ion.

Icli
mbof ft
hebedandgot othecloset
.Iwearthe
dressIwaswear ingyest
erdaywhenwecameher e
andmywhi tesneaker
s.Iwearabuckethatanda
denimj acket
.Ipackevery
thi
ngnicelyi
nmybagand
headt othebathroom.Ir
insemymout hwitha
mout hwash.Ithenheadbacktot hebedr
oom.

Kuhl
e:“
youl
ook…”
Me:
“getusedtomybeaut
yandst
opcompl
i
ment
ing
Me.
”helaughs.

Kuhle:
“Iwi
ll
stopwhenIdie.”Hetakesmyhandand
webothheadoutsi
de.“Theypostponedthel
unchto
accommodateyou.
”Ismi l
e.Heleadsmet ot
he
pati
owhereever
yoneisseated.Thetabl
eisful
lof
di
ffer
entt
ypesoffood.I
t’
sli
keaf
east
.Isi
tdown
andhesit
snexttome.

Amahle:“
daddywhoi
sshe?
”sheasksi
nat
iny
ador
ablevoi
ce.
Kuhl
e:“
sheismyspeci
alf
ri
endandhernamei
s
aunt
yFuthy
.”
Zwel
i
:“shei
sbeaut
if
ul.
”Hesay
ssmi
l
ing.
Amahl
e:“
heyIwasgoi
ngt
osayt
hat
.Youst
olemy
wor
ds.
”

Zweli:“
whatever.
”Thesetwoaresocut e.Whydi
d
Sthabi
leincl
udekidsinherschemingthough?
Chil
drenareinnocentandshouldnotbeusedas
pawns.Somewomenoutt her
e.

Me:“
thankyouandbot
hofy
ouar
eal
sobeaut
if
ul.
”
Zwel
ifr
owns.
Zwel
i
:“Iam amanandgr
andpasai
dmenar
e
handsomenotbeaut
if
ul.Womenar
ebeaut
if
ul.
”I
smil
e.

Me:“myapol
ogi
esmypr
ince.Youareav
ery
handsomeman.
”hesmi
l
eswi del
y.
Zweli
:“someonewhofi
nall
yunder
standsme.Thank
youaunty.
”Ever
yonel
aughs.

MaShezi:“
howar ey ouf eel
ingsisi?
”Ilookatherand
theevent
soft hi
smor ningrepl
aysi nmyhead.Ilook
down.Shelaughs.“ Don’tbeshy.Whathappenedt o
youalsohappenedt oMamkhul uandme.Wej ust
apol
ogizeonbehal fofourancest ors.Wedidn’
t
knowabouty ourphobi a.Butwor r
ynotbecausey ou
won’tseei
tagain.”Ibr eat
heoutl oud.

Me:
“that
’sar
eli
ef.
”Myf
ri
endsl
augh.
Danny:“Idon’
tmeant omakef unofyoufri
endbut
,”
hestart
slaughing,“OMG!Sheislaughi
ng.Shei
s
l
aughingatmymi sery
.Iam goi
ngt odi
e’
.”Hesays
i
mi t
ati
ngmyv oi
ce.TheylaughandIjustcov ermy
facewithmyhands.WhenIt hi
nkaboutit,Iwas
dramaticbutmysituat
ionisjust
if
ies.Snakest ome
arethatpersonyouhateandy ouneverwannaseeor
beont hesamer oom wit
h.

Noma: “Maybetheywannasacr i
fi
ceme.Noy ou
can’t.Iam amulti
mi l
li
onair
eandIhav eno
descendanty et
.Youcan’tkill
me. ”theylaughagai
n.
“TrustFuthytotalkabouthermi ll
i
onswhenshei s
facedwi thali
fethreat
eningsituati
on.”

Kuhl
e:“
okay,
enoughpi
cki
ngonmybae.
”Ir
emov
e
myhandsfr
om myfaceandbl
ush.
Nompil
o:“
youhav
euniqueey
es.I
syourmot
her
whi
te?
”Ishakemyhead.
Me:“
no.Iwasj
ustf
ort
unat
etobegi
ft
edwi
thr
are
ey
es.
”

Weal
leatandt
heconv
ersat
ioni
sfl
owi
ng.Wel
ater
onaskt otakeleavebecause,besidestheChr ist
mas
l
unch, athomewehav et hi
stradit
ionofhav inga
br
aai onthe26thofDecember .Webidf ar
ewel lt
o
everyoneandwal kout
.Kuhlei swalki
ngusoutand
heiscar r
yingmybag.Het henhandsi ttoMabut ho
whenwegett owheret hecarsareat.Hegr absmy
waistandbr i
ngsmecl osertohim.

Kuhle:“
Iwi
l
lcomev
isi
tyouassoonasIr
etur
nto
Durban.
”
Me: “
don’trushgetti
ngback.Spendqual
i
tytimewith
yourfamilyandkids.Spoil
them orev
entakethem
t
oDi sneyland.”Hesmi l
es.

Kuhle:“t
heyar
eluckytohav
east epmom l
ikeyou,
specialf
ri
end.
”Il
augh.WeshareakissandthenI
cl
imbi nt
othecar.Zamohdri
vesoutoft
hepalace.
Danny
:“your
eall
ylovethepr
inceneh?
”Ibl
ushand
l
ookoutsi
dethewindow.
Me:
“Idoandi
t’
sscar
y.”
CHAPTER63
SPONSOREDCHAPTER

It
’st
hesecondweekofJanuar y,
aMonday ,andwe
areopeni
ngatwor k.Kuhl ecamebackf rom
NongomaonNewYear ’
sEv eandhewaswi thhis
si
bli
ngs.Wepar ti
edt hatdayyohanddr ankt oo
much.Iendedupl eav i
ngthepartyear
lyt ogot o
sl
eep.Iam justgl
adIdi dn’tembarr
assmy selft
hat
day,Ij
ustdancedal otnje.

Myrelat
ionshipwithKuhl
ei sstil
lfine.Wejusthavea
l
otofsex,li
keal ot
.Hiskidsareal sof ondofme.I
advi
sedhimt otakethem toCur r
oHer it
ageHouse.
Int
hatwayhedoesn’ thavet olookf orschool
sev er
y
nowandt hen.PlusCurr
oi sav erygreatschool.We
wenttoregist
erthem.Zwel ii
sgoi ngt obedoing
grade3andAmahl
eisgoingt
obeattendingt
heday
care.Shewasmor
eexci
tedaboutweari
ngunif
orm.

TheNongomapal aceproj ecti

sago.Ihadt ost ar
t
afreshdesi
gningi
tbecauseoft hef i
ndingsofthe
l
andsur veyor
.Butitdidn’ttakemel ongandt hey
startedbui
l
dingit
.Consi deringthatthatpal
acewi l
l
bemysecondhome, Icheckt heprogressregular
ly.I
don’twantwhathappenedl astti
met ohappenagai n.

Everyt
hingisbacktonor malinmyhouse.Ki sback.
Ithoughtmaybeshewoul dbeahousewi febutshe
l
ov esherjob,
soshei sback.Xolii
ssti
llstayingwith
me.Shesai dshewillbemov ingtoKl
erksdor pwher e
Phumudzost ays,
aftertheirweddi
ngwhi chisi n
June.SothismeansIneedt wonewassi stants.ButI
hav et
askedhertostartlookingf
orper
sonal
assist
antsinMarch.

Everyt
hingi
ssetformetogotoBrookl
yn.Ij
usthav
e
tolookforatemporar
yapar
tmentt
herebecauseI
am goingt obetheref
oraweek.Iam soexci t
ed
aboutt hi
s.Iti
smoreimportantt
hant heawar ds
becausei twil
lguar
anteemepermanentcl ients
whereIam goi ngtoget5to20y earscontracts,ifI
am lucky.Ihavebeendrawi
ngmanydesi gnssi nceI
havebeenathome, soIam moret hanreadyfort he
conference.

Igetdressedi namust ar dsui twithabl ackbl

ouse
andnudenonst opst rappyt i
el egheeledsandal s.I
thencombmyhai randl etitdown.Ihav etobr aidi
t
somet i
met hisweek.It akeal l myst uffandhead
downstairs.Wet hendriv etowor k.IfindLindsay
bubblyasal way satther ecept i
on.Igr eethim and
headtomyof fice.Iprepar ef orameet i
ngwhi chwi l
l
beat8am.Weal way shav eyearopeni ngmeet i
ngs
whereIwel comet hem backandt el
l t
hem f ewoft he
plansforthatbusi nessy ear .

Ial
readyaskedsomeonefr
om i
nter
iordesi
gni
ngt
o
setupanofficef
orZahatt
hearchi
tect
ure
depart
ment .I
tisnowr eady.Iam j
ustgoingto
announceherpr omot i
onatt hemeeting.Iwonder
howsheisgoi ngt otaket henews.Whent heclock
hi
ts8,Ipackmyt hingsandheadt otheboardroom.I
fi
ndeveryonealreadyseat ed.Igr
eetthem andgot o
myseat.Iplacemyst uffonthetableandstand
behi
ndmychai r
.

Me: “al
othashappenedl astyear.Manygoodt hi
ngs
andbadt hings.Hi ghl
ightofitwasmewi nningan
Afri
canAr chitect
ur eAwardwhi chopenedmany
doorsandoppor tunit
iesforDCC.Thisyearwear e
goingtoopennotonebutt wobranchesofDCCi n
thi
scountr y.Whoknows?May beanotheroverseas.
”
Ishrugandt heycheer.

“I
nthoset
wobr anches,Iwill
takeonl yafewf r
om
herewhowill
showt henewempl oyeeshowt hings
areact
ual
lydoneinDCCandgui det hem.Tomor row
wearegoi
ngt ohave10i nter
nswhoar egoingtobe
worki
ngatthearchi
tect
ur edepartment.Pleasetreat
t
hem wi
thki
ndnessandhel
pthem gr
ow.
”

“Aslasty earhadi t
sgr eatmoment sand
achievement s,I’
dliket othankZanel
eandBobf or
maki ngsur ethatthecompanydoesn’ tgodowni n
myabsent i
a.Iknowt hatitwasacollecti
vewor kand
Iam happyt hattheymanagedt osti
rtheship.With
thatsaid,I’
dl i
keev er
y onetoputthei
rhandst ogether
fortheViceCEOofDubandl el
aConstructi
on
Company ,BobMey ers.”Every
onecheer swhil
eBob
i
sl ookingshocked.

Bob: “
OMG!”wealllaughathim.Hestandsupand
rushestomyside.Hehugsme.“ Thankyousomuch
boss.Ipromi
seIwon’ tdi
sappoi
ntyou.
”Ismil
e.

Me:“Ihopeso.”Hegoesbackt ohisseat.“
Also
pl
easeputyourhandst oget
herforthenewest
addi
ti
onofthear chi
tect
uredepartmentt
eam, Miss
Zanel
eMabaso. ”Sheactual
lyscreamswhile
ever
yoneislaughingandcheeri
ngonher .Whenshe
f
inal
l
ycal
msdown,
themeet
ingpr
oceeds.

“AsIam goingtoBr ooklynintwoweeksf orthe

confer
ence,youguy sar ewelcomet osubmi tanyof
yourbestdesignssot hatIcanpr esentthem there
butIam rest
ri
ctingy outof i
vedesigns.Giveityour
bestshotandwor kint eams.”Themeet ing
conti
nuesandwheni tisdone, t
hecaf et
eriastaff
comesi nandser v
esusbr unch.Weeatandt henwe
headtoourof fi
ces.Zahbudgesi nmyof fi
ceassoon
asIsitdown.

Zah:“
IknowIshoul
dbegrat
eful
fort
heoppor
tuni
ty,
butwhatar
eyougoingt
odo?”Il
augh.
Me:“youaregoi
ngtoguideandteachXoli
ever
ythi
ngsheneedstoknowabouty ourwork.You
guyshaveoneweektogetyourshitt
ogether.AndI
wil
lbetaki
ngbothofyouwithmeinBr ookl
yn.”

Zah:
“wow,
okay
.Ican’
twai
ttoshar
ethesenews
wit
hmydad. ”Shesmi l
esandrushesoutgiggl
i
ng
l
ikecr
azy.Ihaveneverseenherthathappybef
ore.
I
maginehowshewi llbeli
keifshefi
ndsoutthatshe
i
sgoingt
obet heCEOoft heJHBbranch?
.
.
*
**LEE*
**
Ihavebeensl eepingwi t
hSboev ersincewecame
backf r
om Fancour t.Hei sv erygoodi nbed,l
ikehe
rocksmywor ldbutt hat’
sj ustit
.It
’sgoodsex,
nothingmor e.Icanseet hathehasdev el
oped
feel
ingsformeandhasbeenhi nti
ngf orustotake
thi
ngst othenextl evel.Idon’thavelov efeel
i
ngsfor
him,justsexualfeelings,ifthatmakessense.

Thingsatmyhousehav ebeengr eat

.Iactuallyfeel
safe.Athiwassent encedto20y earsimpr i
sonment
withoutparole.Turnsouthehadki ll
edsomewoman
andpolicehadev idenceforthat.Theywer ejust
searchi
ngf orhim becauseher anawayf rom the
areahewasl i
vingat.AsmuchasIf eelsafe,Ilove
hav
ingBabal
waandgi
ftar
ound,
sot
heyar
enot
goi
nganywhere.

Igetdressedi nanav yshor tsleevedkneel ength

dresswithasmal lbelt
,nudecoatandnudeheel s.I
takemynav ybagandt henheaddownst ai
r s.Ifi
nd
myguar dseat ingbr eakfast .Weexchangegr eet
ings
andIalsosi tdownandeat .Whenwear edone, they
driv
emet owor k.Wegett here.Igreetthe
recept
ionistandt henheadt omyof f
ice.Idohav e
myownpr acticebutIam nott heonlyt herapisthere.
Thereareal so5ot hersand2mar ri
agecounsel l
ors.

Igettomyof fi
ce,fi
rstl
yopent hewindowsforsome
fr
eshair,r
emov emycoatandhangi tonmychair
andthensitdown.Idon’ thaveapersonalassi
stant
,
sotherecepti
onisttakescareofallthe
appoint
mentsmycl ientsmake.Myphoner i
ngsandI
seethatKuhleiscalli
ng.Ianswerit
.

Me:
“mypr
ince.
”Hechuckl
es.
Kuhl
e:“
don’
tbesar
casti
c.Lastt
imeIcheckedy
ou
andNomahatedme.”Il
augh.
Me:
“hat
eisr
atherabi
gwor
d.”Heal
sol
aughs.

Kuhl
e:“
any
way
s,i
sev
ery
thi
ngsetf
orSat
urday
?”
Me:“y
ouaregoi
ngtoki
ll
myfri
endwit
hsurpri
sesI
t
ell
youanddadisgoi
ngtoki
l
lyou.
”hechuckl
es.
Kuhl
e:“
stopbei
ngdr
amat
icandt
alk.
”

Me:
“food,
booze,
tent
,war
a-war
acheck.
”
Kuhl
e:“
whati
swar
a-war
a?”
Me:“
itmeansyouhavenothi
ngtowor r
yabout
.
Ev
eryt
hingi
sgoingt
obef i
ne,per
fecteven.
”

Kuhl
e:“
hav
eyouboughtadr
essf
orher
?”
Me:“hebanathesear
enott
heawards,
it’
sjusta
l
obolathi
ng.Noneedtodomatchi
ngoutfi
tsand
shi
t.
”
Kuhle: “
IthoughtNomawast hesavageone. ”Before
Icanr espondhehangsup.Thi sguyt hough.Imean
whodoesn’ ti
nformt hei
rpartneraboutsomet hing
thishuge?Ihopeev eryt
hingwillworkoutintheend.
Thedooropens, Iguesst hi
sismyf ir
stcli
ent.Iraise
myheadandIf rownwhenIseeYandi saNt uli
,the
oldestoft heNtulibr
others.Hecomesf or
war dand
standneart hetable.

Me:“
dowehav eanappoint
ment?”Iaskst
andi
ngup.
Hesmil
es.Goshwhatbeauti
ful
teet
h.
Yandisa:
“morningandt hisi
sforyou.”hesays
handingmeagi ftbag.Itakei
tandopeni t
.Ismile
whenIseeaSi nvit
ronLongSt em 24kgolddi
pped
real
roseandacupwhi chhasmynameoni t
.Itur
n
backtohim andIfrown.

Me:
“whatdi
dIdot
odeser
vet
his?
”
Yandisa:
“ y
ouarebeaut
if
ul.That
’swhyIbr
oughty
ou
these.
”Ilookathi
m.
Me:“
areyoucour
ti
ngmeMr
.Nt
uli
?”hescr
atches
hi
shead.

Yandi
sa:“
I’
dli
ketot
akey
ououtonadat
e.”Ichuckl
e
andshakemyhead.
Me: “
Iam notlooki
ngarel
ati
onship,
ent angl
ementor
afuckbuddy.Thanksfort
hegift
sbyt heway .Iam
notonetoturnbackgi
fts.
”Iputthegiftbaginmy
drawerandsitdown.

Yandi
sa:
“notadateperse.Butj
ustlunch,
togetto
knowyoubett
er.Icanset
tl
eforf
riendshi
p.”Il
augh.
Me:“
set
tl
e?Kantewhatwer
eyouexact
lyhopi
ng
f
or?
”hesitopposi
teme.
Yandisa:“
ify
ouagr
eet
ogoonadat
ewi
thme,
Iwi
l
l
tel
lyou.”

Me:“wel
lplay
ed.Butno.soy
ouar
emy9am
appoi
ntment?”
Yandi
sa:
“9t
o11.
”
Me:
“soy
ouar
egoi
ngt
oannoymet
il
l11?
”
Yandi
sa:“
ify
ouagr
eet
ogoonadat
ewi
thme,
Iwi
l
l
l
eaveevennow.
”

Me:“whyi
sthi
sdatesof
ucki
nimport
ant
?Whydo
youwannagooutwit
hme?”hesmir
ks.
Yandi
sa:
“becauseIl
i
key
ou.
”Igr
oan.Nott
hisagai
n.

Me: “y
ouar eamarri
edman.Goandputt hatliki
ngto
yourwifeandleavemealone.Whydomar riedmen
don’tgetsati
sfi
ed?Youmadey ourchoi
ce,nowl i
ve
withit
.”
Yandi
sa:“
Imetherbef
oreIsawy
ou.That
’swhyI
marri
edher.
”

Me: “
thatdoesn’tevenmakesenseandy ouare
crazy
.GoYandi sa.Iam notint
erestedinwhatever
ty
peofr el
ati
onshipy ouareoff
ering.Iam notnaï
ve
andIam notdesper
atef
orl
oveoraf
fect
ion.
”
Yandi
sa:
“yety
ouar
esi
ngl
e.”

Me:“t
hat’snoneofyourgoddam busi
ness.Butso
youmustknow, mysexualneedsaretakencareof,
soIdon’tneedarel
ati
onshipfornow.AndwhenIdo
needit
,Iwillgof
oranavail
ableman.Notamar ri
ed
one.
”
Yandi
sa:
“ther
eisnot
hingIcandot
ochangey
our
mind?
”

Me:“hel
lno.Iam notevenatt
ractedtoyou.
Al
thoughImustgiveittoyou,youhavesomegut
s.
Butreadmylips,
wear eneverhappening.
”
Yandisa:
“any
thi
ngyouwant,
Iwi
l
ldoi
t.Justone
chancetoshowyoulov
e.”

Me:“God,pl
easegoandnev
ercomeback.
”Hehuf
fs
andstandsup.
Yandi
sa:
“but
…”

Me:
“justl
eav
edude.
”
Yandi
sa:“Iam l
eav
ing.Butt
hisi
snott
helastt
ime
youwil
lbeseeingme.”Ij
ustrol
lmyey
es.“Bye
beaut
if
ul.
”Heheadsout .

Thener v
eoft hatman.Aybo!Whatt hefuckjust
happened?Idon’ tbel
i
eveit
.Awhol eCEO!Amar ri
ed
man.Aski ngmet obehismi st
ress.Li
kewhyme?
Am Isidechickmat er
ial
?Thisguyisjustfr
ustrat
ing
me.Iopenmyl aptopandstartaSkypeconference
cal
ltoFut hyandNoma.Theyansweraf t
erawhi l
e.

Noma:
“tase.
”
Futhy
:“youdon’
tlookwel
l
.Whyy
ouupsetsoear
lyi
n
themorning?
”
Me:
“youwon’
tbel
i
evewhoj
ustcamet
oseeme.
”
BOTH:
“MABUTHO!
”If
rown.
Me:“f
uckno.whywoul
dhecomet
oseeme?
Any
way sYandi
sawasher
e.”
Fut
hy:
“Sandi
l
e’sbr
other
?”
Me:
“theoneandonl
y.
”

Noma:
“whatdi
dhewant
?”
Me:
“tot
akemeoutonadat
e.Appar
ent
lyhe‘
l
ikes
me’
.
”
Noma:
“buthei
smar
ri
ed.
”

Futhy:“t
oawomanwhosav edmylif
e.Waitwhydid
hecomet oyou?Doesheseey ouasasidechick
mat er
ial
?Heneedssomeser i
ousasswhopping.”I
actual
lychucklebecauseIhavenev
erhear
dFut hy
tal
kaboutbeat i
ngupsomeone.

Noma:“hedoestase.Looksl
ikesomethi
ngiswr
ong
i
nhisbrai
n.Maybesomeoneshookhi m har
dor
somet
hing.
”FuthyandIjustl
augh.
Me:“heevenboughtmeagol
ddi
ppedr
oseanda
per
sonali
zedmug.”
Fut
hy:
“di
dyouhi
thim wi
tht
hemugi ntheface?
”
NomaandIl
augh.Bot
hmyfriendsar
ecrazy.

Me:“
no.Icouldn’
tletbeaut
if
ulgif
tsgot
owast
e.
Pl
usyoudon’ttur
nbackagi ft
.”
Fut
hy:“
okay.That’
str
ue.Sowhatar
eyougoi
ngt
o
dowit
hy ourYandi
saissue?
”
Me:“Idon’
tknowf
ornowbutifhebecomesa
nui
sancethenIwi
l
ltakeext
rememeasures.
”

Fut
hy:
“what
everhappenst
aseIam sor
rybutIwon’
t
i
ncl
udemysel
fbecauseyouknowheisacli
ent.
”
Noma: “babeswedon’twantyoui
ncl
udingy
oursel
f.
MinaIam goingtogot oBl
ueDiamondandjust
curseathim,hi
sbloodyswine.
”Ij
ustl
augh.
Me:
“Iunder
standyourposi
ti
onFut
hy,
butwor
rynot
.
I
mmahandlehisass.”
Fut
hy:“
makesurehedoesn’
tendupbei
ngt
heone
whohandl
esyourass.
”
Me:
“fucky
ou.
”shel
aughs.“
Byebat
ase.
”Ihangup.
Way
enzai
ndabaMphemba.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER64

Icall
edKear l
i
eront oprepareusunophuthuf or
dinner.Ij
ustfeelli
keitplusithasbeensolongsi nce
Iatethis.I
t’
sTuesday .Imett heint
ernst
hismor ning
andt heywereabunchofcool ki
dsbutwit
ht he
recentscandal,IaskedLisatodoabackgr ound
checkont hem andhackt hei
rphonessothatshe
canseei ftheyarewor ki
ngwi thmycompet i
toror
not.

Itf
eelssowei rdnotwor ki
ngwi t
hZah, butXol i
is
cool,soIhopewecanwor ktogetherinpeace.I
yawnasIam dr awingoneofmydesi gns.Itdoesn’t
hel
pt hatIsleptlat
elastnight,
thi
smor ni
ngact ual
ly.
Idon’tknowwhyIam put ti
ngsomuchpr essur ein
my self
,butIcan’tseem tostopnje.WhenIy awnfor
thesecondt
ime,
Ist
opwor
king,
Iam goi
ngt
ofai
nt
phel
a.

MyphonebeepsandIchecki t.I
t’
sat extfr
om my
dadsay i
ngIshoul dcomehomeandhav edinner
withthem tomor r
ow.Iwonderwhatthat’sal
labout.I
standupandki ckoffmyheels.AsIam aboutt ocall
Xolisothatshecanor derl
unchforme, t
hedoor
opensandmyf iancéwalksi
nwithpaperbags.Ijust
smileli
keani di
ot.

Me: “whoknewhav ingafi

ancéwouldbet hi
smuch
fun?”helaughs.Heplacesthepaperbagsonthe
tableandcomest ohugandki ssme.“Yousmell
so
nice.Il
oveyourcologne.
”
Kuhl
e:“
andIl
ovey
ou.
”Ismi
l
e.
Me:
“whatdi
dyoubuy
?”

Kuhl
e:“
hakewi
thchi
pst
henwi
ngsandst
eak.
”
Me:
“you’
ret
hebest
.”
Kuhle:
“Iknow,r
ight
? ”Ij
ustlaugh.Igoandpl acethe
foodonthepaperplates.Itakeitandplaceitonthe
tabl
enearthecouch.Hepour sthejui
ceforbothof
usthenwesitdownandst arteati
ng.

Me:“Ihaveafeel
i
ngthaty
ourexi
spl
anni
ng
something.
”Hefr
owns.
Kuhl
e:“
whydoy
ousayt
hat
?”
Me:“Idon’
tknow.ButIhavethi
sunexpl
ainabl
e
feel
i
nginmygutt hatsomethi
ngbadisgoingto
happen.
”

Kuhl
e:“not
hingi
sgoi
ngt
ohappent
oyoumyl
ove.I
wil
lpr
otectyou.
”
Me:
“ify
ousayso.
”

Ireal
l
yhaveabadf eeli
ng.Khokhodoesn’tal
ways
comei nmydreams.Somet i
mesIgetaf eeli
ngl
i
ke
thi
sandIthenIjustknowthatsomethi
ngbadwi l
l
happen.Ij
usthopeharm won’tcometoanyofmy
l
ovedones.
.
.
Igethomeandgostrai
ghtt
ot heki
tchen.Ifi
ndmom
cooki
ng.Ij
usthugherf
rom behi
nd.Sheturnswi
tha
smil
eandhugsme.

Mom:
“howar
eyoumybaby
?”
Me:
“Iam f
inema,
justt
ir
ed.
”Isi
tont
hebar
stool
.
Mom:
“howwaswor
k?”

Me: “
terri
blemama.Ikeepov er
worki
ngmy self.I
can’
tseem t ostop.Thenthereist
hisgutfeeli
ngthat
keepswar ningmeofdangerahead.Whatf r
ustrat
es
mei sthatIdon’tknowwhatt ypeofdangerthatit
.It
would’vebeenbet t
erifkhokhoweretocomeand
warnme.Shei sjustquiet
.”Shedr
opsthespoonand
comest omysi de.
Mom: “
Iknowy ouarenotapr ay
ingwar r
iorbutGod
canr ev
ealsomethingforyouifyoujustpray.Doit
tonight
.Justgodownony ourkneesandaskf or
guidanceandclari
tyfr
om Him becausey ourkhokho
canbeunr el
iabl
esomet i
mes.”Igiggleandthelast
statement.
Me:
“okayma,
Iwi
l
ltr
y.”

Mom: “nowhelpmedi shup. ”wedi shupandgo

pl
acethefoodatt hedinnertable.Shealsocomes
backwithdr
inks.Isitonmychai randtheothers
comedown.Dadcomesandki ssesmyf orehead.
GcinoandThandogr eetmeandt henset
tl
edown.
ThandosaysGraceandt henwest ar
teati
ng.

Dad:“
thefoodisdel
ici
ous.Thankyoumkami .
”Mom
smil
es.Healwayscompli
ment shercooki
ng.It
hink
i
fhedoesn’t
,heprobabl
ygetschasedfrom t
hebed
andorder
edtosleeponthecouch.
Wef ini
sheatingdinnerandThandogoest owash
thedisheswi t
hGci no’shel
p.Dadsay sthereis
somet hi
ngser i
oushewant st odiscusswithme.SoI
foll
owhimt ohi sstudy.Mom alsof ol
lowsus.Weget
thereandIsitont hecouch.Hepour swhiskeyfor
himselfandwi neformom.Het henhandsme
bottl
edwat erfrom hisbarfr
idge.Hesi t
sont he
tableandfoldhi sl
egs.

Dad:
“doy ouhav
eanypl
ansf
orSat
urday
?”If
rown.
Mom laughs.
Me:
“nott
hatIknowof
.Why
?”
Dad:
“goodbecauseyouri
n-l
awsar
ecomi
ngt
opay
l
obol
aforyou.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“what
?”

Dad:
“shallIrepeatf
oryouoryouar
ejustsayi
ng
‘
what’becausey oucan’
tbel
i
evewhatIam sayi
ng?
”
Mom:
“st
opbei
ngsar
cast
icLel
a.”
Me: “t
heycan’tcomet hi
sSat urday.I
t’
sshortnoti
ce.
AndKuhl ehasn’ttol
dme.I sn’thesupposedtotell
me?Doest hi
slobolashithappensl i
kethi
s?It
’shot
i
nher e.Whyam If eel
ingli
ket his?
”IstandupandI
feeldi
zzyinstantl
y.Il
osebal anceandIjustsl
ipand
fal
l.Ifeel
mymi ndshutt
ingdownandt henit
’sli
ght
out.
.
.
*
**KUHLE*
**

Igot omyroom afterputti

ngAmahl etosleep.She
wasaskingsomanyquest i
onsaboutFuthy.Yoh
ki
dscanbecur iousshame.It akemyphonet o
checktheti
meandIf rownwhenIseeami ssedcall
fr
om Futhy’
sdad.Whatcoul dhepossiblywant?
Unlesssomethinghappenedt oherbecauseshewas
goingtoeatdi
nnerwi t
ht hem toni
ght.Ical
l hi
m back
andheanswer simmedi atel
y.
Si
yabul
ela:
“youcoul
dn’
twai
ttonuti
nsi
deherneh?
”
If
rown.
Me:
“whatar
eyout
alki
ngaboutbaba?
”
Siy
abulel
a:“y
ouimpregnat
edmydaught
erMann.I
underst
andthaty
ouaregoingt
omarryherandshi
t
buttooearl
yman.”
Me:
“whathappenedt
oherbaba?Wher
eisshe?
”

Siyabulela:“weareatt hehospit
al.Iam goingto
sendy out headdr ess.Justsoy ouknow, lobola
moneyi sincreasi
ngbecausey oukeeppi ssingme
off.Yerr.
”Hehangsup.Fewmoment sl
aterhesends
theaddr ess.Ican’tbel i
eveFuthyispregnant ,
with
mybaby .Iwannacel ebratebutIwannaknowwhat ’
s
wrongwi thherfir
st.Ical l
XoliandPhumudzoi sthe
onewhopi cksup.Idi dn’
tevenknowhewasi ntown.

Phumudzo:
“what
’supman?
”
Me:
“ar
eyouguy
sbusy
?”
Phumudzo:
“justwat
chi
ngTV.I
sev
ery
thi
ngokay
?”
Me: “cany
ouguy scometomyhouseandwat chmy
kidsforafewhoursnje?Youcanev ensleepinyour
room.Ihavetorushtothehospit
al.Somet hi
ng
happenedtoFuthy.
”Ihearsomeshuf fl
i
ngandsome
talki
ngbutIdon’
thearwhattheyaresaying.

Phumudzo:“wewill
betherein10minut
esman.And
cal
m down.Iam surenot
hingext
remehappenedt
o
her
.”
Me:
“seey
ousoon.
”

Ihangup.Igetdr essedintr
acksui
tsandsneakers.I
thentakemyphone, wal
letandcarkeys.Ihead
downstairs.Ical
lMpenduloandtellhi
mt oprepar
e
thecarbecausewewi l
lbeleavi
ngshortl
y.Few
minuteslaterthedooropensandXol i
comesi nwit
h
Phumudzo.

Me:
“Iam sor
ryf
ordi
stur
bingy
ourcuddl
i
ngguy
s.”
Phumudzochuckleswhi
l
eXol
ibi
tesherf
inger
nai
l
s.
Sheseemsnervous.
Xoli
:“pl
easeupdatesusonwhathappenedt
oheras
soonasy ouhearanyt
hing.
”
Me:
“okay
.Iwi
l
l.Thanksagai
n.”

IheadoutandfindMpendul oint
hecar ,
alr
eady
waiti
ng.Icl
imbinsideandt ell
him whi
chhospit
alwe
aregoingto.Wegett hereinahurryandwego
i
nside.Wef i
ndFuthy’
smom anddadi nthewai
ti
ng
room.Weexchangegr eeti
ngandIsitdown.

Me:
“whathappenedma?
”
Futhy’
sMom: “weweretelli
ngheraboutSat ur
day.
Shejuststartedhy per
ventil
ati
ngandt henshe
fai
nted.Webr oughtherhere.Thedoct or
sr antest
s
andfoundoutt hatshewast hreeweekspr egnant,
wit
ht wins.
”If rownandt henIremembert heni ght
wemadel ove, af
terLi
sa’sumemul o.That’sprobably
whensheconcei ved.
Fut
hy’
sdad:
“tr
ipl
elobol
awenaIam t
ell
i
ngy
ou.
”
Fut
hy’
smom: “shutupwena.”Hechuckl
esandlooks
down.Tear
sofjoyjustr
oll
downmycheeks.“Aww. ”
Shecomestohugme.“ Howdoy oufeel
baba?”

Me:“Iam happyma.Iam f
inal
lygoingtogetki
dsof
myown.Iam ov ert
hemoonr eal
ly
.It’
s
unbel
iev
able.”
Fut
hy’
smom: “whatdoy
oumeanki dsofy
ourown?
Youal
readyhaveki
dsnj
e.”Ichuckl
e.

Me: “
theyarenotminema.Myexwi f
efooledme
andmademer aiseki
dsofanot
herman.That’
sone
ofthereasonswhyIdivor
cedher.
”Shegasps.
Fut
hy’
smom:
“howcanshebet
hiscr
uel
?Shei
s
evi
l
.”

Me:“Ihavegottenoveri
tandIam notev en
heart
brokenaboutthedivorce.Ij
ustfel
tbadabout
herdraggi
nginnocentsoulsintothi
s.Thi
siswhyI
f
il
edf
orpr
imar
ycust
odyoft
hem.
”

Fut
hy’sdad:“y
oudidwell
.Youactedli
kearealman.
Imightbeleni
entonthel
obol
a.”Futhy
’smom andI
l
augh.Heisjustbei
ngsil
l
yandit’
sactual
lyf
unny.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER65

Iopenmyey esandl ookaround.Hospital

?Real ly
?
Dadcanbesodr amaticsometimes.Ijustfai
nted.
Heshoul d’
vesprinkledwaterinmyface, notbring
meher e.Isi
tupandpr essthebuzzer.Lookslikeit’s
al
readymor ning.Thedooropensandadoct orwal ks
i
nf ol
l
owedbyanur se.

Doct
or:
“you’
reawake.Goodmor
ningMi
ssCel
e.”He
makeshiswaytowar
dsmybed.
Me:“morni
ngdoct
or.Iam sur
eyouar
eher
eto
di
schar
geMe.”hesmi l
es.

Doct
or:“y
ouarel
uckynot
hingi
swr ongwi
thy
ou.
Al
sopleaset
akei
teasyandtakecareoft
hel
it
tl
e
onesinsidey
ou.Youcangoshower .Yourmother
broughtyoucosmeti
csearl
ieron.Aft
ershoweri
ng,
wewi ll
doanultr
asoundfi
rstbefor
eIdischar
ge
you.”Ifr
own.

Me:“ul
tr
asound?Lit
tl
eones?Doct
or,
whatar
eyou
t
alki
ngabout?”hesmil
esagai
n.
Doctor
:“y
ouarepregnantwithtwins.Youdidn’
t
know?”myheartski
psabeat .Kuhle’
ssperms
doesn’
tpl
ay,
neh?Damnt hatwasf ast
.
Me:
“howf
aram i
?”

Doctor:“
threeweeks.
”Wow,sohescor edwhilewe
wereatNongoma.Iam goingtomaket hingsso
har
df orhim.Iam sti
l
lmadathim aboutthesurpr
ise
l
obola.
Me:
“okay
.Letmegoshowert
hen.
”
.
.
WhenIam packingmyclot
hesonthebagthatmom
l
eft
,thedooropensandthedevi
lwalksi
n.hecomes
t
owher eIam st
andi
ng,hugsandthenki
ssesme.

Kuhle:“howar eyoubaby ?”Ijustkeepquietandsit

ont hebedwai ti
ngforthedoct or.“Di
dyouhearme? ”
Ijustgi
v ehim anint
imidatinglookandkeepqui et
.
“Baby,whatdi dIdo?”owIcant hinkofanumberof
reasonsbutIam exer ci
singmyr i
ghttoremainsil
ent.
Thedoct orcomesi nwiththenur sewhoi swheeli
ng
i
nt heultrasoundmachine.

Doctor
:“y
ourHighness,wear
eblessedtohaveyou
her
e.”hesay
ssmi l
ing.Thi
sdoct
orlovestosmil
e
Neh.Kuhl
ealsosmiles.
Kuhl
e:“Iam honored.Ican’
twaitt
oseemypr eci
ous
ki
ds.
”Thedoct orgivesthenur
seinqui
sit
ivel
ookand
pl
ugsinthemachi ne.
Doct
or:“
pleasel
i
eonthebedandt
akeof
fyour
dr
ess.
”Idoashesays.
.
.
Kuhle:“
Ireal
lydon’
tunderst
andwhyy ou’
remadat
meandwhyy ou’r
egivi
ngmet hesi
l
enttr
eat
ment.
”
Wewer enowi nmybedr oom andIwaspacki
nga
fewclothesbecauseIam supposedtosl
eephome
toni
ght.

Me:“youfuckenimpregnatedme, wit
hnotonebut
t
wobi gheadedkidsli
key ou.Tomakemat t
ers
worse,youaresendi
ngy ourrepr
esentati
veswit
hout
t
ellmeany thi
ng.I
sthishowi t
’sgoingtobeinour
r
elati
onship?Ladi
eslovesurpri
sesbutnotwheni t
’s
l
ikethi
s.”Hesighsandsitsdown.

Kuhl
e:“
Iam sor
ry.Pl
easef
orgi
veme.
”
Me:
“what
ever
.”
Kuhl
e:“
pleaseMaCel
e.”Hecomesandhugsme
ti
ght
.Ij
ustmelti
nhisarms.
Me:“okay
,okay
.Stopsqueezi
ngt
hel
i
feoutofMe.
”
hechuckl
esandrel
easesme.
Kuhl
e:“
Ilov
eyousomuch.Youknowt
hat
?”Ismi
l
e.
Me: “Il
ovey ou.
”hetakesmybagsandwehead
downst ai
rs.Iam shockedt
ofi
ndmyf ri
endsther
e.
“Don’tt
ellmey ouknewaboutthi
s.”Theybot
hsmi l
e
nervously
.

Lee:
“itwasf
ort
hegr
eat
ergoodt
ase.
”Ir
oll
myey
es.
Me:
“what
’sl
eftt
odo?
”shel
aughs.
Noma:“
buyi
ngmoregrocer
ies.Youknowt
her
ecan
nev
erbeenoughf
ood.
”
Me:
“okay
.Let
’spassbyt
hemal
lthen.
”

Kuhl
e:“
soIwil
lonl
yseey
ouonSat
urday
?”hepout
s
andIj
ustgi
ggl
e.
Noma: “
wewi l
lwaitfory
ououtsi
de.”Theyheadout
.
Hepull
smecl osertohim andgi
vesmeaqui ckhar
d
ki
ssthatleav
esmewant i
ngmore.
Me:
“baby
.”Iwhi
ne.
Kuhl
e:“
youwi
l
lli
ve.
”

Me:“
but2minut
esnj
e.”Hechuckl
esandunbuckl
es
hi
sbelt
.Ismi
l
ewidel
yandhejustchuckl
es,
shaki
ng
hi
shead.
.
.
Wegett othemal landbuygr ocer
ies.Whenweare
donewebuymor ebooze.Weal sogobuysome
cl
othesbecausey oucannev erhav etoomuch
cl
othes.Leesuggest sthatwegot oNandosfor
l
unchbutIam notf eel
i
nggr i
l
ledmeet .If
eel
li
ke
havi
nginhloko,sowegot oapubwher ewebuyi
t
andthendrivehome.

Wegetther eandf i
ndonl
yThandoathome.Shei s
l
eavi
ngf orLondonSundaymor ni
ng.Sheissuper
exci
tedandcan’ tst
opbraggi
ngaboutit
.Weunl oad
thef
ood, packitandNomast ar
tscooki
ng.Ifeel
supert
ir
ed,
soIj
ustgoandr
est
.

Iwakeupthefoll
owingdayandgobath.WhenIam
done,
Igetdressedandthendownstai
rs.If
indmom
dri
nki
ngteaandwat chi
ngsomethi
ngonhert abl
et.

Me:
“mommy.”Ihugherfr
om behi
nd.Shepl
acesher
t
abl
etont
hecounterandt
urnstost
areatme.
Mom:“
Lwandl
ewami.
”Shehugsme.“Iam pr
oudof
t
hewomanyouhav
ebecome.”Igi
ggl
e.
Me:“don’
tst
artwit
hanemotional
speech.I
t’
stoo
ear
lyfort
hat
.”shechuckl
es.

Mom:
“whatwoul
dyoul
i
ket
oeat
?”
Me:“Iwantcereal
anddon’
twor
ry,
Iam goi
ngtodo
i
tmy sel
f.
”Iprepar
ecer
ealandt
hensi
tonthe
bar
stool
.
Mom: “sot
ell
meaboutKuhle.Howdidyour
r
elat
ionshi
pstar
t?”Ibl
ushandlookdown.
Me: “
wehadachi l
lazi
nmyhouse, whereheki ssed
me.Af tert
hathetoldmethathelovesme.He
carr
iedonr emindi
ngmeabouthisf eeli
ngsbutIkept
ontelli
nghimthatIwon’tset
tl
eforbringasi dechick
orasecondwi fe.Hethensai
dhewi lldi
vorcehi s
wif
ef orme.Ididn’
tbeli
evehi
m becauset hat’sa
commonsongt omarr
iedmenwhoar ehaving
aff
airs.
”

“Wewentt ot hi
sweekendget awayandwesl ept
together.Afterthathetoldmet hatheisgoingt o
fi
ghtf orourlove.IwenttoWomal enaandwhenI
camebackhehadn’ tgottenoverme.Heact ually
toldhissibli
ngsandf atheraboutme.Weonl y
starteddat i
nginDecemberandweact ual
l
ydi dn’
t
date.Hej ustproposedandIaccept ed.Andher ewe
are.”Hel aughs.

Mom: “i
t’
sfunnyreal
ly.I
t’
sanamusi nglovestor
y.
Peopl
eget t
ingmarri
edwi t
houtdat
ing.Justli
kean
ar
rangedmar ri
age.
”
Me:
“yeahr
ight
.Wher
eisdad?
”
Mom: “
hewentt
obuymeatatEshowewi
thy
our
br
other
s.”

Me:
“Lel
eishome?
”
Mom:“hecamel
astni
ght
.Unf
ort
unat
elyy
ouwer
e
sl
eepi
ng.
”
Me:“guessIwil
lseehi
m whent
heycomeback.So
whatishappeni
ngtoday?
”

Mom: “
someofthef amil
ymember sarecoming.I
r
eall
ydon’
tknowwhycoul dn’
ttheyjustcome
t
omor r
ow.Theyjustwannacr
owdmyspacenj e.
”I
l
aughandshealsolaughs.
Me:“Iam goi
ngt
ostopbytheoff
icef
orawhi
leandI
am gonnacomeback.Iwon’
tev
enstayf
orl
ong.
”

Mom: “
letmecomewit
hyou.Iam bored.
”If
ini
sh
eat
ingandweheadout
.ZamohdrivesustoDCC.
Wegetther
eandfi
ndZahandBobatt
her
ecept
ion
deski
nmyf l
oor
.
Me:
“Heyguy
s.”
Zah:“heyboss.Xol
ihasal
readyt
oldust
haty
ou
aren’
tcomingintoday.
”

Me:“t
her
eissomet
hingIneedf
rom myof
fi
ce,
thenI
wi
ll
beout.”
Zah:
“okay.Wil
lseey
out
omorr
ow.Mr
s.Cel
e,l
ooki
ng
fi
neasalways.
”Mymom gi
ggl
es.
Mom:
“thanky
ouZanel
e.”

Igot omyof ficeandtakesomeofmyunf ini

shed
sketches.Irollt
hem andputthem i nthetube.We
thenheadoutandwef ir
stgotoaspa.Wegetf ul
l
bodymassagesandwaxes.Af terthatwedoour
mani cureandpedicure.Wear ejustpamper i
ng
ourselvesnje.Whenwear edone,wegobyt hat
samespotIwentt oy ester
dayandbuyi nhloko.
Wet henheadhomeandf inddadwi thall
hischi
ldren.
Theyar echil
li
ngandl aughingoutloud.WhenIgeti n,
Lelecomesandhugsme.Outofal lmysibli
ngs,Lele
i
smyf avori
te.Wejustunder st
andeachot herwell
andwear ealwaysthereforeachot her
.Dadalso
comest ohugmeandki ssesmyf orehead.We
exchangegr eet
ingswi t
hBusi andherhusband.Her
chil
drenthrowt hemselvesatme.

Me:“y
ouguyslookall
grownup.Youshoul
d
def
ini
tel
yvi
sitmeinJune.
”
Thabang:
“youcanbetoni
t.
”Theygot
omom nex
t.
Lel
e:“
Ican’
tbel
iev
eyouar
egetti
ngmar
ri
ed.Who
knewyouwouldmarr
yapri
nce?
”
Gci
no:
“letal
oneget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?
”Ij
ustr
oll
myey
es.

Me:“
IwishIwastheonegoingt
oLondon,
away
f
rom y
ourannoy
ingasses.
”
Lel
e:“
you’
retheonewhowoul
dbeinvi
ti
ngmewi thi
n
2weeksofsett
li
ngin.y
ou’
dbel
ike‘
bhutypl
ease
comeseeme,Imissyousomuch’
.
”Hei
mit
atesmy
voi
ceandt
heylaugh.
Me:“cont
inuelaughi
ngli
ket
hatandIwi
llt
ell
the
Zul
uf ami
lynottogivey
ouanyt
hingdur
ing
umembeso. ”

Gcino:“
thepri
ncel
ovesus.Hewoul
ddef
ini
tel
ygo
behindyourbackt
omakeushappy.
”
Me: “
Igiveup.”Istandupandheadt omyroom.I
pl
acet hetubeonmybed.Dadget sinasIam t
aking
offmyshoes.Isi tonthebedandhecomest osit
nexttome.“ It
oldmom t oholdoffwi
ththe
emotionalspeechesandt hatal
soappl
iestoy
ou.”he
j
ustlaughs.

Dad:“Itoldthatboyofyoursthatl
obolai
sgoi ngt
o
costhim becausehechoset onutinsi
dey ou.Hel
eft
notone, buttwoofhiskind.SoIam defi
nitel
ygoi
ng
tochargehi m amil
li
ontomor r
ow.”
Me:
“don’
twor
ry.Hecanaf
for
dit
.”Hel
ooksatme
andwebot
hjustl
augh.Hehugsme.

Dad:“Ican’
tbeli
eveIwi
llbemarry
ingoffmyf emale
versi
on.Justdon’
tswearatyouri
n-l
aws.”Icovermy
facewithmyhands.
Me:“It
hinki
tmightbelat
efort
hatadv
ice.
”He
l
aughsandshakeshishead.

Dad:
“you’
rehopel
ess.
”
Me:
“lookatt
het
reecal
l
ingt
heappl
ehopel
ess.
”
Dad:
“justshutup.
”webot
hlaugh.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER66

Thef oll
owi ngmor ningIam wokenupbysi nging.I
reall
ydon’ tunder standwhyt heyar esinging.Icurse
undermybr eath.Isl eptverylatel
astni ght.I
nf actI
sleptthismor ning.I fmyhor monesar et heones
doingmel iket his,maki ngmewor kingov ert
ime,
thenit’
snotcool .Igetupf rom thebedandmy
phoner ings.It’sKuhl e.Ij
ustignor
ei tandheadt o
thebat hroom.

Ibrushmyt eeth,showerandt hendr yandlotionmy

body.It
hengetdr essedi napowderbluewi th
fl
owersthree-quartersleeveV-neckcolourblock
regul
ardressandbl ackVersacev i
rt
usflatsandal
s.I
thenputonabl uedoek.Imakemybedandt akemy
phone.Il
aughwhenIsee10mi ssedcall
sfrom
Kuhl
e.Ical
lhi
m back.

Kuhl
e:“
Iseeyouwantmet ohaveaheartat
tack
neh?
”Ij
ustlaughagai
n.“
It
’sgoodtoknowthatI
amuseyou.
”
Me:“cal
m downmyl
ove.Ij
ustcameoutoft
he
shower.
”
Kuhle:“
whendidyousl
eep?”Icl
earmythr
oat.Idon’
t
knowhowhei sgoingt
ofeelaboutmeover
wor ki
ng
my sel
f.

Me:
“ear
ly,
ver
year
ly.Soonaf
terdi
nnermyl
ove.
”
Kuhl
e:“
ist
hatso?
”
Me:
“yes.
”
Kuhl
e:“
howar
eyout
hismor
ning?
”

Me: “
fi
ne,j
usthungry
.Wewi llt
alkaf
terIhav
eeat
en.
”
Iknowthatwil
lshuthim up.
Kuhle:“
Iknowwhaty
ou’
redoi
ngbutIwi
l
lleti
tsl
i
de.
”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“by
elov
e.”Ihangup.

Igodownst airs.Thesepeopl ear esti

llsi
ngi
ng.It
mustbet heal cohol.Igreetthem andImakecer eal
formyself.Igoandeatatt heloungebecauset hey
arecookingatt hekitchen.Isitandt uneintoNet f
li
x.
Thereisthisser i
esIlovet heseday sandIlove
repeat
ingit.It
’sBridgeton.Iopeni tandstarteati
ng
mycer eal
.Dadcomesi nwear ingblackformalshoes,
blackt
ur t
leneck,blackdr essshoesandabr own
coat.

Me: “
damndad.Youl ooksuperfl
y.Ifyouarelooki
ng
thi
ssmar tjustforthenegoti
ati
ons,Iam pr
ettysure
yourweddingt uxedowillbei
mpor t
ed.”Helaughs
andsitsdownonhi scouch.Youknowhowbl ack
famil
iesare,theheadoft hehouseholdhashis/her
owncouch.
Dad:
“youdon’
tlookbady
our
sel
f.
”Il
augh.
Me:“y
oudidwel
l bywear
ingabr owncoat.I
fyou
woreabl
ackone,peopl
ewoul d’
vethoughtt
hatyou
ar
eamafiaki
ng.”Hechuckles.
Dad:“JABU!”shecomesi naf
teraf
ewmoment
s.
“Angi
zibonengihl
afuna.
”
Mom: “
udakiwe.”Ichokeandspi
tthecor
nfl
akes.I
thenlaugh.“Stoplaughi
ngoryouaregoi
ngtochoke
ony ourfood.”

Dad:“canwegobackt ot he‘
udakiwe’st
atement?
”
mom laughsandr ol
lshereyes.“
SIJABULILE!
”he
saysinafi
rmt one.Shejustl
aughsandr unst
otheir
bedroom.“Yourmothercanbechi l
dishsometi
mes.”
Hesay sst
andingup.

Me:
“andy
oul
ovepl
ayi
ngwi
thher
.”
Dad:“f
uckoff
.”Il
aughandheal
sof
oll
owshi
swi
fe.
Thesetwolov
esexshame.
.
Iam wit
hmyf r
iendsinmyr oom.TheZul u
negoti
ator
shav ear r
ived.UncleSakhisizweis
umkhongibutal sothekingispartoft henegotiat
ors.
Theotheruncleisalsoher eandsoi sMbusoand
Phumudzo.Kuhl e’sfr
iendsarewithhi m outsi
de.I
f
dadweretoseet hattheyaredri
nkingi nthatmini
bustheyarein,hewoul dprobablyaddt othel
obola
money.

Ihaven’
ttoldmyf r
iendsaboutthepregnancyandI
al
soaskeddadnott omentionitduri
ngthelobola
negoti
ati
ons.Iam carry
ingfutur
eleaders.Ishouldn’
t
begoingar oundt
elli
ngeveryonethatIam pregnant.
Royalbabiesareal
way sindangerandIdon’ twanna
putmykidsi ndanger.

Noma: “
Iam sohappyf oryouf r
iend.LikeIam ov er
themoon.Ifeelli
kesingingloud. ”Shest artssinging.
Gosh.She,Lee,Danny,ZahandXol i
sleptv erylate
thi
smorningandt heywer edrinkingl i
kefishes.Ev en
nowtheydidn’tnursetheirhangov ers.Theyj ust
car
ri
edonwitht
hedri
nki
ng.“UBETHIUBHUTI
ASI
ZOMLANDA, UMAKOTI,
NOUMKHWENYANA! ”
Wealll
augh.

Lee:“
nofri
end.That’
sthewr ongsong.Wear eonthe
bri
desideandwear enotenteri
ngthegates.Noty
et.
Weshouldbesinging‘WESIBALI,SI
BALISAMI ,
MAYEKWEHLULAMBUYI SELEEKHAYA’.”

Theyallst
artsi
ngingalongandy ohthenoise.Iam
j
ustlaughi
ng.Afewmi nuteslat
erwehearaknock
onthedoor.Yohthespeedi nwhichtheyhidethe
al
coholisveryamusing.Theysitli
keinnocent
angelsi
nthebedandsomesi tont hecouch.Thando
goesandopenst hedoor.Myaunt ygetsin.

AuntFi
ki
le:“
youaremaki
ngnoi
se.Theyar
etr
yingt
o
workdownstai
rs.
”
Danny:“
auntyFeet
hisi
snotaf
uner
albutajoy
ous
occasi
on.Sowearegoi
ngtosi
ngti
l
lthesunsets.
”
AuntFi
kil
e:“Iam nott
alki
ngtoyouwenastabane.
Learnt
omi ndyourbusiness.
”Dannyst
andsup
dramat
ical
ly.

Danny
:“t
ellmeshedidn’
tjustsaythat
.UuuIam
goi
ngtowipethef
loorwit
hy ourface.
”

Lindsay:“calm downbabes. ”hesaysmakinghis

wayi n.“Andaunt i
e,theyarecall
i
ngf oryou
downst air
s.”Shelooksatusandt henheadsout.
“Sheisdr amat i
cthatone,neverpayattent
iont
o
her.”Zahst andsupandst artssi
nging.GoshIso
wishIwasal sodrunkr i
ghtnow.

Zah:
“USBALIUYATELEBHELA!
”
THEM:“
USHAYAKANCANE,USHAYAKANCANE,
USHAYAKANCANEUSBALIUYATELEBHELA!
”such
avi
be.
.
.
Everyt
hingwentwel lwithnegot i
ati
ons.Daddi dn’t
evencallmet oaski fIknowt hem ornot.Hecal led
meandwasl i
ke‘thi
sisy ourbri
deke.I fyoudon’t
feel
her,fuckof f
.’Thekinglaughedbecausehe
knowshi sfri
end’ssenseofhumorwhi l
et heothers
seemedof fended.Ther oyalsmov edtothet entand
Kuhleandhi sfri
endsandsi bli
ngsal socameoutof
thebusandt heyar eseatedatt hetent.

Mom: “youFuthywi l
lfi
rstserveyourhusbandand
thenservehi
sf ather
.Remembert okneelnehbaby.
Butifyoudon’
tf eell
ikeit
,thendon’t.
”Il
augh.Her
husband’sat
ti
tuder ubbedof fonher.

Thandogoest othetentwiththebasi
nanddi sh
clothsothattheycanwasht hei
rhands.Mom hands
meKuhl e’sfood.Itakeitandgot ot
het ent.Iwas
toldnottolookatthein-lawsintheeyes.Ispot
Kuhleandt hengot ohim.Ikneelinfr
ontofhi m,I
stealalookathim andhehast hi
sannoy i
ngsmug
onhi sf
ace.Ijustknowt hatheandhisfr i
endsareup
t
osomet
hing.

Phi
l
a:“
theCEOMadoda.
”
Mbuso:
“themul
ti
mil
l
ionai
re.
”
I
saac:
“theawar
dwi
nner
.”Ij
ustchuckl
eandt
hey
l
augh.
Me:“
herei
syourf
oodNdabezi
tha.
”Hesmi
l
esand
t
akesit
.

Kuhle:“
thankyouMaDubandlela.
”Iblushandthen
standup.Igobacktothekit
chen,takethefoodof
thekingandgoservehim.Ikneelagainandheis
j
ustsmi l
ingatme.Helooksjustl
ikehisson.No
wonderwomenl ovehi
mt hismuch.Hei shandsome.

Me:
“St
hul
isi
kaNdaba.
”
King:“
wangishokamnandiMaNdosi
.”Ismi
leand
standup.It
urntoleav
e,j
ustt
henKuhlecal
l
smy
name.Ihuffandturnt
olookathi
m withaf
akesmil
e.
Kuhl
e:“
justwantedtosayIl
oveyouandy
oul
ook
ver
ybeauti
ful
.”Ibl
ushandlookdown.

Me:“Il
ovey
ou.
”It
henr
ushbacki
nsi
deandt
hey
l
augh.
Zah:
“whatar
etheyl
aughi
ngat
?”
Me: “KuhlejusttoldmeIam beaut i
fulandthathe
l
ov esme.Thesei diot
sarelaughi
ngatt hefactthatI
blushed.”Myf ri
endslaugh.“Iam hungrythough.”My
fri
endsdi shupandgosi tont hetent,
somenextt o
theirpar
tners.

Mom:“l
etmedi
shupf
ory
ou.Whatwoul
dyoul
i
ket
o
eat
?”
Me: “uphuthu,
usunet humbu.Nosal
adsplease.
”She
chucklesanddi shesupforme.Shethenhandsme
theplate.Shepour sj
uicef
ormeandhandsmet he
glass.

Mom:
“goandsi
tnextt
oyourhusband.
”Ir
oll
my
eyes.Igotothetentandsitnextt
ohim.Ist
art
eati
ngwithoutsayi
nganythingtohim.
Kuhl
e:“
thatl
ooksdel
i
cious.
”
Me:“yeahbuti
t’
smi
neandIam notshar
ing.
”He
l
aughs.

Kuhl
e:“
hau,what’
smineisyour
sandwhat’syoursi
s
minenj
esthandwasami.AwubeIshar
ist
.”Ishake
myhead.
Me:
“noti
nthi
scase.
”
Sbo:“
maphasisFut
hy.
”Igi
vehi
m adeat
hst
areand
theyl
aughatme.

Me: “
tel
lThandot
ogodishupf
oryouorgot
othe
ki
tchen.Mom wil
lgl
adl
ydi
shupfory
ou.”

Sbo:“ushokwabazway o.
”Hesaysst
andingupand
headingtotheki
tchen.Hecomesbackwi t
haplat
e
thathasuphuthunosu.Whenthesei
diot
sseehim
eati
ng,
theyal
lst
andupandheadt
othekit
chen,
evenKuhl
e.Ij
ustl
aughshaki
ngmyhead.

King: “
ifwewer einanotherhousehold,Iwouldsay
theseboy sareembar rassi
ngmebutwear ei nmy
fri
end’shouse,sohewi l
lunderst
and.”Him andthe
elderslaugh.Theseidiotscomebackl aughingand
eating.Theyseemssocar efr
ee,l
iketheyareinthei
r
homes.Theysi tdownandeatt heirf
ood.Dadcomes
andsi tnexttohisfr
iend.

Dad:“
myf amil
yisshockedbytheway‘roy
alty’
is
behav
ing.
”Theki ngl
aughsandrol
lshi
sey es.“
Let’
s
gohaveaf ewbeersi
nmyst udy.
”Hestandsupand
theki
ngalsostandsup.
King:“
will
seeyoul
aterbr
other
s.Kuhl
eandy
our
squad,behav
e.”

Kuhle:
“yesdad.”Dadandthekingmaket
hei
rway
i
nsidethehouse.“Iam t
hir
stynow.
”
Me: “y
ou’r
edrunk.
”Her ol
l
shi seyesandlaugh.
“ThandogoandcallLel
ef orMe.”shestandsupand
headsinsi
de.Theybothcomebackl ater
.“Bhut
y
pleaseservet
heguestsalcohol
.”Hebows.

Lele:
“yourMaj
est
y.”Hesay
swi
thasmugonhi
s
face.
Me:“youaregoi
ngt
opayf ort
hat.
”helaughsand
l
eaves.Fewmomentslat
erhim,Gcinoandmy
cousi
nscomeandplacetheboozeinfrontoft
he
guest
s.
Phil
a:“
that
’swhatIam t
alki
ng.
”Hi
sfr
iendscheer
.
Thesehool
igans.
.
.
Thefol
lowi
ngmor ningweallwakeupandpreparet
o
gototheai
rport
.It
’sabit
ter
sweetdaybecauseas
muchaswear ehappythatThandoisgoi
ngt o
pur
sueherdreams,wearesadt hatshei
sleavi
ng.
Wearesogoingtomi ssher
.Wear enoweating
breakf
ast.Ev
ery
onei
squi
et,
wear
ejustf
ocusi
ngon
thefood.

Gcino:“Iam goi ngtomissyourannoyi

ngsel f.Iam
goingtomi ssy oucooki
ngformewheny ouwantt o
coverfory ou.Iam goingtomissyousingingf orme
whenev erIl oseamat chorwhenachickr ej
ected
Me. ”weall laughathim.Evendadisl
aughi ng.“We
shouldn’tbet hissad.Weshouldbecelebrati
ng.”

Thando:
“Iam goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ouguy
ssomuch.
”
Me:“wear
egoi
ngt
omissyout
ooandIpr
omi
sewe
wi
ll
comeseeyoui
nJul
y.
”
Thando:“t
hat’
sgreat.
”Wef ini
sheati
ngandthen
dri
vehertotheair
port.“
It’
stimeformetospread
mywi ngsandli
fttheCelenameev enhi
gher
.”

Dad:“
that
’sthespiri
tpr
incess.
”Hehugsherand
ki
ssedherforehead.
Mom:
“Il
ovey
ouangel
.”Sheal
sohugsher
.Weal
l
hugher
.Thi
sisanemot
ional
momentf
oral
lofus.
Thando:
“seey
ouwhenIseey
ou.
”shetakesher
l
uggageandgoest
oboar
dthepl
ane.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER67

Duet omyt r
iptoBrooklyn, wehadt ot ake
i
ngqibamasondot hisSatur day
.I tisaweekaf t
erthe
negotiati
ons.Weboughtsomanygr oceries.It
doesn’thelpthatthekinghas5wi ves.Ial sohaveto
buyfort helatequeenmot herandal sof orKuhle.I
al
soboughtbl anket
sfort hewi v es,theki ngand
Kuhle.Weal soboughtmanyf ruitsandamadumbe
nobhat ata.Mom saiditstr adi
tion.Ialsobought
basketsofgoodi esforthem.

Wear eonourwayt oNongoma.Wehi redat r

uckso
thatwecouldloadthegroceries.Mom managedt o
gathermostofmycousi nstoaccompanyus.Ihi r
ed
twoVW Kombi stotransportpeople,t
hat’smy
cousinsandaunts.Myf r
iendswant edtoflexwit
h
thei
rcars.Dr
ama.Wegettothepal
aceandpar
k
outsi
de.Goshmyfri
endsar
edrunkagai
n.Iwi
shto
bethem.

Theystartsi
ngingwhil
et heyunl oadthegr oceri
es
fr
om thetruck.Myfri
endsar ev erylookingclassy,
i
t’
sjustthattheyar
edr unk.Theysepar atethefood
i
ntosevenpacks.Theyar egoi ngt ogoi nsi
desev en
ti
mes,behambi set
oeachwi fe,thentot helate
queenmot herandtoKuhl e.IcallNomaandLee.

Lee:
“whati
sitt
ase?
”
Me: “i
ntoengizoy
idakwamhlakushadanina.
”They
bothlaugh.Iopenmywal l
etandtakeoutR5000.I
don’tknowhowmucht heyaregoi
ngtochargethem
foropeningthegate.“
Thisi
sforJohntov ul
athe
gate.”

Noma:“sowhenwegett ot
hegat
ewemustsay
‘
nasi
stoko’
?”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“basi
cal
lyyouar
ethestokoNeh.
”Theyl
augh
agai
n.IhandNomathemoney .“
Nowgoandsingin
fr
ontofthegat
eunti
ltheyopeni
t.
”
Lee:
“yessi
r.
”Theygotothegateandst
artsi
ngi
ng:
‘
BABAMNUMZANE, UYEYESIVULELESI
NGENE!’

Theyopent hegat efort

hem afterpay i
ng.Theyt hen
comebackt otakethefoodandt akeitinsi
dewhi le
si
nging.Theydot hisforseventimesandt henti
me
comesf ormet ogoi nsi
dewi t
ht hem.Theyt aket he
bl
anketsandgi ftbagsforthewiv es.Itakean
enamel basinwithisful
lofsweet sandcar ryi
t.They
star
tsingingagain.

Weent erthegatesandIst artt

hrowingthesweets
asi nstr
ucted.Manyki dsrushtocatchthem and
somepi ckthem from theground.Iam supposedto
goar oundt hepalacebutit’
shugesowest opatthe
front,opposit
et hemai ndoor.AmahleandZwel i
rusht omeandaskf ort hesweets.Igi
ggleandgive
them ther emaining.
Nomaasksf orachairandt heybr ingitnearwhere
wear estandi ng.Theystartcall
ingt hewivesand
theyallcomet ocoll
ecttheirblanket sandgif
tbags.I
canseet heywer enotexpectingt hisbecausethey
seem sur pr
ised.Kuhlealsoget scal l
ed.Iboughthim
asuitanddr essshoes.Al soabl anket.Iwrapthe
blanketaroundhi m andplacet hesui tandshoeson
topofhi m.Hei sbl
ushinglikecrazy .

Kuhl
e:“y
oulookbeauti
fulmywife.
”Ismil
e.Iam
weari
ngaredoffshoul
dersishweshweA-l
inedr
ess
wit
hamat chi
ngheadwr apandredStev
eMadden
Mali
buhighheelpump.
Me:“t
hanky oumypri
nce.Youalsolookhandsome.
”
Heiswearingumbhl
asel
owi t
hizimbadadaand
umqhele.

Wewrapupthecer emonyandt heyleadust othe

l
oungewherethetablei
sfil
ledwi thl
oadsoff ood.
I
t’
sli
keafeastorsomething.IsitdownandLeeand
Nomasitonmyl ef
tandright.Idishupjuststeamed
breadandbeefcur r
y.It
henpourj ui
ceformy selfand
star teat
ing.Iknowitwil
lonl
ybeamat terofti
me
bef orethewivescallme.Ifi
nisheati
ngandt hen
drinkmyj ui
ce.Amahlegetsintheloungeandl ooks
around.Shespot smeandsmi l
esandthencomet o
me.

Amahle:“gogoiscall
ingyouaunty.
”WhatdidIsay ?I
smil
eandst andup.Shepul l
smewi thherti
nyar ms
andIjustfol
lowher.Shelookssoadorablerightnow.
Sheleadsmet oanotherlounge,
Iwonderhowmany
l
oungest heyhavei
nt hi
spalace,whi
chisfil
ledwi t
h
women.

MaDlomo:“
mybeaut
if
uldaught
eri
nlaw.
”She
comestohugme.
Me:
“howar
eyouma?
”
MaDl omo:“Iam awesome.”Igigglebecauset
hati
s
sounl i
keher.Theotherwi
vesal socomeandwe
exchangegr eet
ingsandhugs.Theyleadmet oa
chairandIsitdown.
MaMol
efe:
“woul
dyoul
i
kesomet
hingt
oeat
?”
Me:“noma,Iateaf ewmi nutesagoandIam st
il
lful
l
.
Aglassofwaterwillbef
ine.”Shepoursi
tandthen
handsitt
ome.“ Thankyou.”
Elderwoman1:“
sowhatisitt
hatyoudomakoti
?”I
takeasipoft
hewat
erfi
rstbefor
eIcananswer
.

Me:
“Iam anar
chi
tectandengi
neer
.”
El
derwoman2: “areyoureadyt
oquital
lthat
becausebeingar oyalwi
femeansyouhav et
obea
housewif
e.”Ichuckle.
Elderwoman3: “y es.Yourdut
yistoconceiv
eand
nurtur
ey ourchi
ldren,obeyandtakecareofyour
husband’sneeds.Sohowar eyougoingtodothat
whileyouarean‘ archit
ectandengi
neer’
?”sheuses
theairquotes.

Me:“IhopeIwon’tcomeoffasdefensi
vebutIlov
e
myjobandmycompany .Myhusbandknowsand
underst
andsthat
.SoIam pret
tysurehewon’tbe
expecti
ngmet oj
ustqui
tit
.”Theyl
augh,
thewi
ves
arejustqui
et.
El
derwoman1:“theworldwon’
tcomet
oanend
whenyouqui
tyourjob.
”Sherol
l
sherey
es.

Me: “wit
hal l
duer espectma, Ihavemorethana
hundredempl oy eesandt hisy eart
heyaregoi
ngto
beincreasing.Idon’ttrustany onewithmycompany
soIcan’tjusthandi tov ertosomeoneorqui t
.This
i
snotasmal lcompany .Thisisal ar
ge,soontobe
globalcompany .Youdon’ tquitsomethi
ngli
kethat.
It
’speople’
sl i
v esatstakema. ”
El
derwoman3:
“wear
enotf
ight
ingwi
thy
oumakot
i,
wearej
ust
…”

Me: “
youdon’tunderstandthemeaningofyour
wordsbomama.Iam notanempl oyee,rat
heran
employer
.Iam v eryi
mpor t
antt
omosthousehol ds
becauseIhelpthebreadwinner
sbringfoodtothe
tabl
e.Nextti
mewheny ouwannatalkaboutme
quit
ti
ngmyj ob,resear
chaboutmycompany .Ibui
l
t
i
t,i
t’
smyownl
egacy
.Youdon’
tqui
tyourl
egacy
.”

MaDubazane:“Iwi
shIwasasconfidentasy
ouwhen
Ifi
rstcameherekoti
.”Ismi
leandl
ookdown.Kuhl
e
entersthel
oungeandgreet
sthewomen.

Kuhle:
“canIhav emywif
enow? ”hismother
slaugh
athim.Hedoesn’ tev
enwai
tforthem t
oanswer.He
helpsmest andupandweheadout .Whenwear eat
thecorr
idor,hehugsmeandthenkissesme.“I
missedy ou.
”
Me:
“Imi
ssedy
out
oo.
”

Kuhl
e:“
justafewmi nutesnj
eofbondi
ngwi
thmy
wif
eisallIam aski
ngfor.
”Igi
ggl
e.
Me:
“andy
ouar
egr
ant
edt
hat
.”hel
eadsmet
ohi
s
r
oom.

Kuhl
e:“
Iam t
hef
ir
stpr
ince,
soIcan’
thav
eaf
lat
outsi
dethemai nhouseli
ketheother
sbecauseI
shoul
dbet hereformyfatheri
ncaseanythi
ng
happens.
”Isitdownont heedgeofthebedandt
ake
offmyheels.
Me:“whathappenswhenwegetmarr
ied?Youwi
l
l
cont
inuel
ivi
nginthemainhouse?
”

Kuhl
e: “youarebuil
dingourhouselov
e,sowewi l
l
l
ivethere.Wewi l
lonlycomeher et
ohavel unchor
whent hereareceremoniesorwhenwej ustwantto
vi
sit
.”Hesi t
snextt omeandt akemyhandsi nhis.
Me:“thoseauntsdownstai
rssaidIshoul
d‘quit
’my
j
obbecausewhenwegetmar r
ied,myjobisto
conceiveandnurt
ureyourki
dsandobeyy ou.”he
l
aughs.

Kuhle:“youandqui t
ti
ngyourj ob?Babythat’
syour
fi
rstloveandchild.Iknowt hatIcomesecondandI
knowt hatourchildr
enwillcomesecondbecause
that’
syourf i
rst
born.Youlov eDCCandy oulove
archi
tectureandengineeri
ng.Iknowt hat,
soIwon’t
everexpectyoutoleaveyourj
oborsomet hing.Yeah,
sureIwill
expectyoutotakematerni
tyleavesandall
butIwill
neverwishforyoutoqui
t.Infactl
et ’
sstop
tal
kingaboutthi
s.”Ismil
e.

Me: “
Iloveyou.”Ireall
ydolovehim.Ilov
et hefact
thatheunderstandshowpassi onateIam aboutmy
j
obandcompany .Thereisonethi
ngthatheis
wrongaboutt hough, i
sthefactt
hathethinksmy
companycomesf i
rstbefor
ehim andourbabiesbut
Iwon’tcorr
ecthim.
Kuhl
e:“
Ilov
eyoumor
e.”Heki
ssesme.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER68

*
**STHABI
LEGCABA*
**

Manypeoplemayseemeasav i
ll
ainoracr uel
womanbutIam neitherofthosethings.Kuhleloved
mesomuch.Wewentt ov arsi
tytogether.That
’s
whenourrel
ati
onshi
pst art
ed.Byt henIwasal r
eady
dat
ingGaryandIlov
edhi m mor ethanIlovedKuhle.
WellIdi
dn’
tlov
eKuhl e,
justhismoneyandf ame.

WhenGaryfoundoutaboutmyr elat
ionshi
pwi th
Kuhl
e,hetol
dmenott obr eakupwi thhim butrather
makehim ourwalki
ngATM.Thatseemedl ikeaplan,
unt
ilKuhl
e’
sfathersai
dhemustt akeawi fe.That’
s
whenZweliwasconceived.GarysaidifIfall
pregnant
,thereisnowayKuhlewoul
dn’
tmarryme
andthatwillsecur
eourwel
lbei
ngfort
herestofour
l
ives.

Ofcour seGar yistheonewhoi mpregnatedmebutI

pinnedt hepregnancyonKuhl eandIprayedev er
y
daythatt hechilddoesn’
tcomeoutl ooki
ngl ikeGary
.
Wegotmar r
iedwi t
hKuhlewhileIwaspr egnant
becausehedi dn’twantr
oyalblood,
especiallyhis
chil
d,tobebor noutofwedlock.Garyisanapp
developer,meani nghehasmoneybutsomet imes
hi
sappssuckssohedoesn’ tgetpaidasof tenas
Kuhle.

Aftermarryi
ngKuhle,Istar
tedget t
ingthishuge
al
lowancewhi chIsentGaryhal fofiteverymonth.I
di
dn’tevenlookforaj obbecauseKuhl e’sauntstol
d
met hatit
’smydutyt olookaftermyhusbandand
ki
dsandbecomeahousewi fe.Iam al azypersonin
nature,
soIdidn’tmindbeingahousewi febecause
Kuhlepamper edmeandgav ememor emoneyeach
chancehegot
.

Hewoul dsurpr
isemewi thv acati
ont icket
sandt el
l
met otakesomeofmyf riendswhi chwer e
housewivesofrichDur banbusi nessmen.Iwoul d
takethem somet i
mesbutmostoft hetimeItook
Garywith.Iur
gedKuhl enott oal l
owabody guardto
comewi thmet ov acati
ons.Atf ir
sthewasagai nst
theideabuthefinallyagreed.

Istolesomanyappi deasf r
om Kuhletogi vetoGar y
butonlyt hreeweresuccessful.Somewer enot
i
ncompl eteandsomej ustneededKuhl e’sperfecti
on.
Henev ersuspectedmeandIal waysfr
amedour
mai dssot hathewouldf i
rethem, i
nwhi chhedi d.I
thoughtIgotawaywi t
hev eryt
hingthatIhaddone
butIguessIcoul dneverout smarttheroy al
freaks
foreternit
y .

Mysist
erbar
gesinmyroom dri
nki
ngcoff
ee.She
hasanewspaperi
nherhand.Shesi
tsonthe
dr
essi
ngt
abl
eandst
art
sreadi
ng.

St
handiwe:“
ITWASAJOYOUSOCCASI ONATTHE
ZULUPALACEWHENTHEFI ANCEOFTHEFI RST
PRINCEBROUGHTINGQOBAMASONDOTHI SPAST
WEEKEND.THEBEAUTIFULSELF-MADE
MILLI
ONAIRE,MI
SSCELE,WHOI SPRINCEKUHLE’S
FI
ANCEBROUGHTGROCERI ESANDGI FTSTOHER
I
N-LAWSTHI SWEEKEND.
”

Me:“beauti
fulmyfoot.Kuhl
eisj
ustunbel
iev
abl
e.
Manyjournali
stshav
ebeencalli
ngmet hi
smorni
ng.
IguessnowIknowwhy .”
Sthandi
we:“heev
ent ol
dhisPAt or
eleasea
stat
ementaboutyourdivor
cebecausepeopl
ekept
call
ingt
hefatwomanhi ssecondwif
eandseems
l
ikehedidn’
tli
kethat
.”

Me:
“let
’sgoout
.Ij
ustwannacl
earmyhead.
”
St
handi
we:
“whi
chcl
ub?Becausepeopl
ewi
l
lseey
ou
andwit
hinmoment
sjour
nal
i
stswi
l
lbesur
roundi
ng
you.
”
Me: “
Istil
lhaveafewrandsi
nmyaccount.Let’
sgo
tothatrestaur
antwher
ethephonesar
eleftatt
he
door.”Shesmi l
es.
St
handi
we:
“yassbabes.
”sheheadout
.

Istandupandt hengof reshenup.Igetdr essedi na

blackoffshoul
derl ant
ernsleev ecroptop,highwaist
j
eansandnudepat entanklest rapheel
s.Iputon
make- upandthenputonmy20”br ownPer uvi
an
weav e.It
akeaf ewmi rr
orselfiesandpostt hem on
thegram.Peopleshoul dn’
tthinkf orasecondt hatI
am downandoutj ustbecauseKuhl el
eftmef ora
fatwoman.

Garyismadatmebecauseoft hefullcustodyKuhle
hasov erthechi
ldr
en.Hei sangrythatItradedmy
reputati
onformychi l
dren.Buthedoesn’t
understand.I
t’
sbetterifKuhl
eisseenasahear t
less
personf orl
eavi
nghisper f
ectwif
ef orafatbimbo
r
athert
hanpeopl
eknowi
ngaboutmyi
nfi
del
i
ty.

Itakemybagandcarkey sandheadt ot hekitchen.I

takewi nefrom t
hefr
idgeanddrinkitf
r om thebottl
e.
Mysi stercomest ot
hekit
chenandt akesi taway
from me.Sheal sodri
nksi
tandt henputi tbackto
thef r
idge.Sheisweari
ngblackshortflar
eddr ess
wi t
hanopenbackandnudehar perstrappyheel -
neutral.

Sthandi
we:
“let
’sgogetdr
unk.
”Il
aughandwehead
out.
.
.
Wegettotherestaur
antandor derabott
leofv odka.
Ouri
ntent
ioni
st ogetdrunk,notdine,
sowesi tat
t
hebar.Wedoaf ewshots.Fewmoment slatera
wai
tercomestous.

Wai
ter
:“goodev
eni
ng.Mi
ssMt
hiy
anei
saski
ngt
hat
y
oujoi
nherandherf
ri
endont
heVI
Plounge.
”I
f
rown.
Me:“
didshesaywhy
?Andwhoi
sthi
sMi
ss
Mthi
yane?
”
Wai
ter
:“t
heownerofthi
sestabl
i
shmentandoneof
t
heri
chestwomaninDurban.
”

Sthandiwe:“l
eadthewayhoney .
”Shesay salr
eady
standingupandtakingthebott
le.Ilaughandtake
theglasses.Thewaitergoesupthest ai
rsandwe
foll
owhi m.Wegettot hepri
vat
ear ea.

Wai
ter
:“MissMthiy
ane,
theyar
ehere.”het
urnsand
t
henheadsout.Thi
sMissMthi
yaneisseat
edwitha
whi
tewoman.
MissMt hi
yane:“
pleasesit
.”Wesitdownandplace
ourthi
ngsont hetabl
e.“Iam Nqobi
leMthi
yaneand
thi
sismyf ri
endDonnaMagnes. ”
Me:“
Ibeli
evey
oual
readyknowwhoIam seeingt
hat
youi
nvi
tedmeher
e.”shesmil
esandnods.“
Thisi
s
mysi
sterSt
handi
we.
”

Nqobi
l
e:“ni
cetoknowyouSt
handi
we.Letmecutt
o
t
hechase.Ibel
i
evewehaveacommonenemy.”I
f
rown.
Donna:“thef amousNt ombifuthiCel e.Shehas
humil
iatedy ouandont opoft hat, stol
ey ourman.
Sheshoul dbepunished.Shecan’ tgetawaywi t
h
ever
ythi
ngand…”shet akesoutpi cturesandhands
them t
ome, “soonyourchil
dr enwi llbecalli
ngher
mommy .”Iviewthepictur
esandi t’sthatfatbimbo
l
aughingwi thZweliandAmahl e.Theyseem t obe
havi
ngagr eatti
me.Theyar el aughingandt hey
seem carefree.

Sthandiwe:“l
etmesee. ”Shetakesthepictures.
Wowt hedi sr
espect.Kuhleisbusyint
roducing
bimbost omyki ds.Iam somadathi m andangr yat
thefactthatthebimboisbongi ngwit
hmyki ds.
“Thisi
smadness.Kuhl ei swrongfordoingthis.
”
Donna:“sheiswarmingherwayi
ntoyourchi
l
dr en’
s
heart
.Sheisthecommonenemywehav e.Withher
outoftheway ,
youcangobacktobeingthefuture
queenandt heworl
dwillbeabet
terpl
ace.
”
Me:
“heroutoft
heway
?Whatdoy
oumean?
”

Nqobil
e:“
eliminat
eher.Sheisabigcompetit
iont
hat
Ican’
thave.Whatbetterwaytogetridoft
he
competi
ti
ont hansil
enci
ngitforgood?”
St
handi
we:
“don’
tyout
hinkt
hat
’sext
reme?
”
Donna:“heleftyouforaf atunattractiv
ewoman.You
gotnothi
ngf r
om y ourdivorcesettlement .I
twil
lonl
y
beafewmont hsbef oreyougobr oke.Youwon’ tbe
abl
etomai ntainyourlif
estyle.Yourpar ents’money
i
snotenough, i
tbarelycansecur et hei
rmont hl
y
bi
ll
s.”

Nqobil
e:“wekil
lher
,Kuhl
ebecomesvulner
able.You
comforthi
mi nti
mesofneedandsoonerrat
herthan
l
ateryourst
atuswil
lberest
oredandy
ouwi l
lbe
secur
edonceagai
n.”
Donna: “
thinkaboutitbutdon’ttakelongbecause
thi
sofferwon’ tbeinthetablefortoolong.
”This
off
eristempt ingbutifKuhlefi
ndsoutIam involved,
hewil
l surelykil
lme.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
BONUSCHAPTER
CHAPTER69

*
**STHABI
LEGCABA*
**
“Howt hemightyhav ef
allen.Lookatyounow.Not
l
ongagoy ouwer eontopoft heworld,l
ooki
ngdown
uponus.Lookaty ounow, youaredownandout.I
am prett
ysurey oucan’tevenaffor
da30”weav e
now.”Mycousi nKhanyezasay ssit
tingdownonthe
couchoppositeme.Iam athomewat chi
ngTV.

Shehasalwaysbeenastrai
ghtt al
kerwit
hnof i
l
ter.I
thi
nkherhatef
ormest ar
tedwhenIst art
eddating
wit
hKuhle.Sheini
ti
all
yhadacr ushonhim buthe
chosemeandt hatmadeherver yangr
y.Thi
sone
ti
mesheaskedmef ormoney.Ididn’
tgiv
eittoher
becausethewaysheaskedf
ori
t,wasl
i
keshewas
enti
tl
ed.

Me:“
ify
ouhavenothi
ngbett
ert
osay,t
henshutt
he
f
uckupKhany
eza.”Shel
aughsmocki
ngly
.
Khanyeza:“babesheleftyou.Helit
eral
lyleftyoufor
ahippo.”Shelaughsmor e.“Thi
sisjustgreat.Totop
i
toff,hetookawayy ourkids.Yourchil
drenar egoi
ng
tohaveast epmotherwhileyou’
restil
lal
ive.Shame.”

Me:“
ify
ou’
reher
etomockmet
henIsuggesty
ou
l
eav
e.”
Khany
eza:“y
ouar eusedt
oissuingorder
sbecause
youwereaprincessf
orafewy ear
s.Youarenow
backt
obeingacommonerj ustli
ketherestofus.
”
Me:
“you’
rej
ustbi
tt
ert
hathemar
ri
edmenoty
ou.
”

Khany
eza:“
andwher eareyounow?Backtopovert
y.
Soonyouwil
lbegoingforj
obhunti
ngwhichis
somethi
ngyouhaveneverdonebefor
e.Goodluck
wit
hthat
.”shelaughsagainandstandsup.“Letme
makemy sel
fsomet hi
ngtoeat.Iwonderify
oust i
l
l
knowhowt ocookMi ss‘
Priv
ateChef’
.”Shelaughs
oncemoreandt henheadstothekit
chen.

IwishIcanj ustchopof fherhead.Suddenl y

Nqobil
e’sideadoesn’tseem l ikeabadthing.Iam
pret
tysureKhany ezai snottheonlyonewhoi s
mockingandgossi pingaboutme.Atl eastsheis
braveenought otell
ittomyf ace.I
fthathippoisout
oftheway, Kuhlewillcomer unningtomyar ms.This
pl
ansuddenl yseem sogr eat.
.
.
Me:“
IknowwhatIwi
lldo.
”Isayt
oSthandi
wewhois
br
ushi
ngherweavei
nfrontofmydr
essi
ngtabl
e.
St
handi
we:
“wel
lspi
l
l.
”
Me:“Iam i
n.Iwantt
hatf
atgi
rldead.Iam goi
ngt
o
hel
pNqobileandDonnai
nthi
s.”
St
handi
we:
“whatmadey
oudeci
desoqui
ckl
y?”
Me:“seemsli
keat alkfr
om Khanyezaisall
Ineeded.
Shemademer eal
izethatIam notf
orthatli
fe.I
can’
tbepoor,downandout .Ineedtogobackt omy
pri
nceandtheonlywayt odothatisift
hebigmama
i
sdead.”Shelaughs.

Sthandiwe:“
bigmamaoe?ButIam withy
ouont he
ki
lli
ng.ImeanIam nolongerget
ti
nganal
lowance
fr
om y ouandIreal
l
yneedit.Whenar
ewegoingto
meett hem?”
Me:“Ihav
ealreadysentat
extt
oNqobi
l
eandshe
sai
dIshouldcomet hr
oughtot
hecl
ubthi
sev
eni
ng.
”

Sthandi
we:“
Iam comi
ngwi
thy
ou.Thehi
ppoi
s
goingdown.
”Il
augh.
Me:“weshoulddef
ini
tel
yhav
eami
nicel
ebr
ati
on
af
terherdeat
h.”
St
handi
we:
“YAY!
”
.
Wegetdressedandthendr i
vetothecl
ub.Whenwe
gett
here,wejustgot
ot heloungewherewemet
Nqobil
eandDonnaat,thelastti
mewewer eher
e.A
wait
ertel
l
sust omakeour sel
vescomfort
abl
ewhil
e
hegoestocallNqobi
l
ewhoi satherof
fi
ce.Wesit
downandsiponsomewhi tewine.

St
handi
we:
“per
fect
.”Ismi
l
e.
Me:
“mi
ssi
ngt
heni
cel
i
fer
ightnow.
”Shechuckl
es.
Sthandiwe:
“it
’sonlyamatterofti
mebef oreyouget
i
tback.”Inod.Nqobil
eandDonnamaket hei
rwayto
theloungeandsitopposi
teus.Weexchange
greeti
ngsandt hewait
erbr
ingstheirdr
inks.

Donna:“
sowhatmadey
oucomet
oyourdeci
sionso
ear
ly?
”
Me:“youwerer
ightaboutever
ythi
ngandIam not
abouttol
etadisgust
ingoi
lybi
tchtakemyfamil
y
awayfrom Me.
”theysmil
e.
Donna:
“that
’st
hespi
ri
t.
”
Nqobi
l
e:“
sowhatdoy
ouhav
einmi
nd?
”
Sthandi
we: “Iwast
hinki
ngmay bewekidnapherand
thenkil
lherandthenditchherbodyi
nfrontoft
he
DCCbui l
ding.”Weal
l l
augh.
Donna:“nothatwi
llbr
ingtoomuchat t
enti
onandif
theygetoneofthebestdetect
ivesonthecase,
somethingmightl
eadherbackt ous.
”

Nqobil
e:“
Isaywemakei tl
ookli
keanaccident,
acar
acci
dentreall
y.Herguardswon’tbeabletoprot
ect
heri
fwejusthi thercarwit
hatruck.Weshouldalso
makesuret hatweknowwher eshei sseat
edsot hat
wewon’tmi ss.Temperwi t
hthebrakesofthetr
uck
sothati
twilllookexactl
yli
keanaccident.
”

Me:
“whowi
l
lbet
hedr
iver
?”
Donna:
“leav
ethatt
ome.Iwi
l
lsor
titout
.”
Sthandi
we:“seemsli
keyouguy
shaveever
ythi
ng
undercont
rol.Whatdoy
ouneedfr
om us?”
Nqobil
e:“Iwantt okeeptheprincedistract
edont hat
day.Don’tstarttal
ki
ngtohim ont hedayoft he
acci
dent.Rat herst
artsoonsot hathewon’ tsuspect
anythi
ng.Justaskhi mtoreconsiderthecust odyof
thechil
dren.Youhav ebeenmar r
iedforyears.You
knowhisweaknessesandwhi chbut tonstopush.”I
nod.

Me:
“It
otal
l
ygety
ou.
”
St
handi
we:
“sowhenar
ewedoi
ngt
his?
”
Donna:
“Assoonasshecomesbackf
rom Br
ookl
yn.
Shewon’tmakei
tdowntheai
sle.
”

Me:
“thi
sisper
fect
.”
Nqobil
e:“
weshouldtoast.
”Thewai
terbr
ings
champagneandglasses.Wepouri
tontheglasses
andrai
sethem.“
TOFUTHY’ SDOWNFALL!”
US:
“ TOFUTHY’
SDOWNFALL!
”weal
ltoastandt
hen
welaugh.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby

.
CHAPTER70

*
**FUTHY*
**
Itismyt hi
rddayinBr ookl
ynandt heseconddayof
theconf er
ence.Wear epresenti
ngtodayandZah
seemsner vous.Wewi l
lbot
hbepr esenti
ng.WellI
am alsoal i
ttl
ener
v ousbutIam conf i
dentaboutour
presentati
on.Ihavebeenpr epar
ingforthisday
sinceforeverandnowt hatit’
shere,Iam happy.

Thecompani eswhichpresentedyesterdaywer ej
ust
perfectandIam pret
tysuretheygotthemsel ves
cl
ients.Ther
eareabout50+cl ient
s.Bigclient
swho
haveagr oupofcompaniesglobally.I
fIcanget
my selfj
ustt
hree,t
henIwillbesetforal i
feti
me.
Igetdressedinabluesurpli
ceneckpuf fsl
eeveself-
bel
tedspithem dresswithanudesol i
dbeltedslant
pocketovercoatandnudeTumi ankl
estrapheel
s.I
am wearingthecoatbecausetheweat herisali
ttl
e
chi
ll
.Kuhlesaidmyobsessi onwi t
hheelsmustst op
onceIam f ourmonthspregnantbecausehedoesn’ t
wantmet r
ippi
ngandf al
l
ing.Drama.

Zahi swearingablackV- neckleopardpr i

ntbelt
ed
dresswi t
hleopardprintRebeccaheel andbl ack
blazer.Xol
iiswearingawhi tefoldoverasy mmetri
cal
neckdobbymeshsl eevet op,navykneel engthpenci
l
skirt
,navyblazerandwhi teSteveMaddendr ess
Brandiewhitesidegrandeheel s.Wepackup
everythi
ngandt henheadt otheconf erenceCentre.

Wegett hereandsi tonourdesi gnatedseat

s.The
pr
esentationsstartandafteraf ewhour swegoto
l
unch.Whenwecomebackf rom lunch,meandZah
goandpr esent.Allthener
v esaret her
ebutassoon
asIstar
tspeaki ngtimejustst opandIconnectwit
h
mywork.WhenIam doneIgiveZahthepl
atf
orm
andshej
ustspeakssopoli
tel
yandgreat
.Whenshe
i
sdone,weearnoursel
vesaroundofappl
ause.

Whent hepresent
ationsfort
hedayar edone,weall
headout.Oneoft hecli
entscomesourwaywi tha
smil
eonherf ace.SheisMaur eenSchil
l
aci,t
he
hei
ressoftheSchi l
l
aciGroup.Herfamil
yhast he
mostexpensiveprivat
ehospital
sglobal
ly.

Maureen:“
thatwasagr eatpr
esent
ati
onDCC.Iwi
sh
youallt
hebestforFr
iday.”
Me:“t
hankyouv
erymuch.
”Shesmil
esandheads
outf
oll
owedbyanumberofguar
ds.
Zah: “
OMG!Wej ustrecei
vedacompli
mentf
rom
theeMadam Schil
laci.Whatagr
eatdayt
obeali
ve.
”
Wel aughheadi
ngout .

Xoli
:“i
fIdi
dn’
tknowbetter
,I’
dsaywehav
eheras
ournumberonecli
ent
.”
Zah:“
that’
sagreatpossibi
li
tybutl
et’
snotcountour
eggsbefor
etheyhatch.”Wegetinsi
dethecarsand
dri
vetotheapar
tment.Wegett her
eandIscream
whenIseeKuhlecookinginthekit
chen.Ir
unand
j
umpi nt
ohisarms.Hegi ggl
esandcatchesmei nt
o
hi
sarms.

Me: “
you’
reher
e.”hesmil
esandplacesmeont he
counter
.Icuphi
sfaceandki
sshim.Hedeepenst he
ki
ssandwebr eakitwhenwearebothcontent
.Il
ook
aroundandIdon’
tseeaboZah.Ij
ustlaugh.
Kuhle:
“Imissedy
ousomuch.Icoul
dn’
twai
tfor
Sunday.”
Me:
“Ial
somi
ssedy
ou.
”

Kuhl
e:“howwasyourpresent
ati
on?”heaskswhi
l
e
hesneakshi
shandsinsi
demydr ess.
Me:“notherebaby.Any
waysIam hungr
y.Whatar
e
youcooking?”hel
aughs.
Kuhle:“i
twil
lbereadyinafewmi nut
es.Howabout
yougochangei ntosomethingmorecomf or
table?
”
heasksey ei
ngmyheel sandIjustgi
ggle.Hetakes
meof fthecounterandspanksmybut twhenIam
abouttoheadout .Il
ookathim andhejustwinks
whil
elicki
nghislips.
Me:
“per
ver
t.
”Hel
aughs.

Iheadtomyr oom andtakeaqui ckshower .I

t’s
al
readylateandIknowIam notgoi ngoutf ordinner
oranythi
ngelsebecauseKuhl eisher
e.Ijustget
dressedinmylongsil
kypaj amasandsleeper s.Igo
downstair
sandfindeveryoneont hedi
ningr oom.I
si
tnexttobaeandwest arteati
ng.

Kuhl
e:“
sohowwast
hepr
esent
ati
on?
”
Xol
i:
“theynai
l
edit.Theyevenr
eceiveda
compli
mentfrom oneofthebi
ggestcli
ent
s.”
Kuhl
e:“
that
’sgr
eat
.”Hesayssmil
ingandl
ooki
ngat
me.Ij
ustbl
ushandcont
inueeat
ing.
Zamoh:
“lookatt
hebossbl
ushi
ngl
i
keat
eenager
.”
Me:“owwshutupZamokuhle.”Theyal
llaughatme
whi
leZamohst i
ckshi
stongueoutchil
dishly
.“ You
wi
ll
nev erhav
eachil
dwhileyou’
rethi
schildish.”
Zamoh:“
Iam st
il
lyoung.Ist
il
lwannapl
aywi
th
peopl
e’
sdaught
ersbeforeset
tl
ingdown.
”

But
ho:
“andt
heywi
l
lpl
ayy
our
s10t
imes.
”
Zamoh:“
broIownguns.Boy
swil
lhavetot
hinkl
ong
andhar
dbefor
ecomingnearmygir
ls.
”
Thobeka:“
Icanalr
eadyseeyouhav
ingamini
hoe
femal
ev er
sionofyour
sel
f.
”Wealll
augh.

Zamoh:
“Thobeka!
”
Thobeka:
“Zamokuhl
e!”shesay
swhi l
estandi
ngup
andrunni
ngout
.Zamohr unsaf
terherandwejust
l
aughatthem.
.
.
Kuhle:“nowthaty
ouhav
epresent
ed,
Iam sur
eyou
ar
el essstr
essed.
”Wearei
nmybedroom andhei
s
gi
vingmeamassage.
Me:
“youwantust
otal
kaboutourcer
emoni
es?
”

Kuhl
e:“yesbaby.Weneedt ohaveumkhehloand
umembesowhi chIsuggestmustbedoneont he
sameday .Thenthewhit
eandt r
adi
tionalwedding.
Aft
erthatwemusthav eacoronati
ondaywher ey ou
wil
lbecrownedast hepri
ncessandf ut
urequeen.”

Me:“
Ineedtohaveawholecer
emonydedi
cat
edt
o
mycrowni
ng?”hechuckl
es.
Kuhle:
“yesl
ove.Butdon’
tworr
y,wewi
llhav
eitaft
er
yougivebi
rt
h.Thepeoplemustknowt
heirf
utur
e
queen.
”
Me:“okay
.Iam gladitwil
lbeaft
ergivi
ngbirt
h.I
can’
thavemor eeventswhereIwil
lbelooki
ngli
kea
hi
ppo.”Helaughs.
Kuhle:“babeyouwillneverl
ookli
keahippo.Youar e
perfectandsexy.Ri
ghtnowy ourmoansar etur
ning
meon.Feel me.
”het akesmyhandandmakesme
touchhiserecti
on.Igiggl
eandturntositontopof
him.Istartki
ssi
ngandbi ti
nghisneck.Hisbr
eathing
changesandIchuckl e.
.
.
Iwakeupt hefoll
owingdaytoathr
obbingheadache.
Iscr
eam andpl acemyhandonmyf orehead.WowI
am bur
ningup.Someoneshakesme.Iopenmyey es
toseeKuhlehelpingmesitup.Hehasawor ri
ed
l
ookonhi sface.

Kuhl
e:“
what
’swr
ongbaby
?”
Me:“Iam f
eel
i
ngsick.
”Myt hr
oati
ssodr
y.“
It
’sl
i
keI
hav
eahangov erpl
usfl
u.”
Kuhl
e:“
let
’sgoshowersothatIcant
akey
out
othe
doct
orandthi
sisnotarequest
.”
Hepicksmeupandwal kst othebathr
oom.We
showerandIgetdressedi ntr
acksuit
sandsneaker
s.
Healsogetsdressedinal ongsleev
edt -
shi
rt
,
sweatpant
sandsneaker s.Hemakest hebedandwe
headtotheki
tchenwher ewef indevery
oneeati
ng.

Kuhle:
“ZahandXoliyouguy
swi l
lhavetoatt
endthe
confer
enceonFuthy’
sbehal
f.SheissicksoIam
taki
nghertothedoct
or.”
Zah:
“what
’swr
ongboss?
”
Kuhl
e:“
wewi
l
lknowwhenwecomeback.
”

Hepullsmeout sideandwecl imbi nt

ot hecar.The
dri
verdriv
esof f.Fewmi nuteslaterwepul l
upi na
surger
y.Wegeti nsideandhegoesst r
aighttot he
consul
tingroom.Wegoi nsidetheroom andf indan
Afr
icanAmer icanwomanwhoi swear ingawhi te
doctor
’scoat.Shesmi l
eswhensheseesus.

Doct
or:
“br
otherf
rom anot
hermot
her
.”Shecomes
t
ohughi
m.
Kuhl
e:“
howar
eyoul
i
ttl
esi
s?”
Doctor:“
li
fei
sgood.Andthismustbethefamous
Futhy.
”Shesayshuggingme.Shehasalitt
lebi
tof
anAfri
canaccentbutshetal
ksli
keAmericans.
Seemsl i
keshehasbeenhereforqui
tesomet i
me.

Kuhle:“wearest
il
lgoingtocomet oyourhousefor
dinner.Ri
ghtnowIneedy outocheckher.Sheis
feeli
ngsickandsheispregnantsoIam worri
ed.”
Doct
or:
“tel
lmehowy
ou’
ref
eel
i
ngr
ightnow.
”

Itel
lherandthensheinj
ectsmewi t
haninj
ection.
Shethenchecksont hebabies.Theyar
eperfectl
y
heal
thy.Whensheisdone, shegivesmesomemeds.
Wet al
kal i
tt
leandthenweheadout .Iyawnand
Kuhlelooksatme.

Kuhl
e:“
you’
ref
eel
i
ngdr
owsy
?”Inod.
Me:
“It
hinki
t’
sthemedi
cat
ion.
”
Kuhl
e:“
let
’seatfi
rstandt
henwewi
l
lgor
est
.”Inod
agai
nandy awn.
Wegotoar estaur
antwher
eweeatourbreakf
ast
.
WethenheadhomeandIsl eepi
mmediat
elywhen
myheadhit
st hepil
low.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER71

TodayisSat urdayandwear epr epari

ngtogot othe
l
astdayoft heconf erencewher et heywil
lbe
announcingt henumberofcl ientseachper songot.
It
’saformal dinnersowear ealldressi
ngup.Iam
weari
ngal ightpinkA- l
ineformal dresswithGeorge
whit
ef auxsnakepr intdiamantechai nblockheel
s.I
putonanashbl ondebobweav e.

Kuhleisalsoaccompany i
ngme.Hei sweari
nga
darkgreytuxedoandagr eyturt
leneckwithbl
ack
l
oafers.Helooksreall
yhandsome.Wedi dgotovisi
t
thedoctoratherhome.Tur nsoutshei shi
scousi
n.
Hermot herisMaDlomo’ssister
.Shei smarri
edand
has1beaut i
fuldaughter
.
Kuhle:“webet t
ergetgoi
nglove.
”heki
ssesmy
cheek.Ilookathim andsmil
e.Howluckyam It
o
deservesuchagr eatpar
tner
?Myancestorssur
edi
d
workov erti
mehere.“Whyareyousmil
ingli
kean
i
diot?”Igiggle.

Me:
“not
hing.Youar
ejusthandsome.
”Hechuckl
es.
Kuhl
e:“Iknowr
ight.Fora35yearol
d,Isur
el ook
goodneh?”hewiggleshi
seyebrowsandIjustlaugh.
Me:
“you’
resool
d.”Her
oll
shi
sey
es.
Kuhle:
“wear
eonl
yfi
vey
ear
sapar
t.What
’sol
d
ther
e?”

Me: “whatever.
”Itakemybagandheadout .He
foll
owsme.Wecl i
mbi nsi
dethecarsandwedr i
veto
theconf er
encecent re.Wegett her
eandwear e
usheredt oourtable.Wesi tdownandi mmediat
ely
theybringchampagnet oourtabl
e.Kuhlest
opsone
ofthewai ter
swhenshei sabouttoleav
e.
Kuhl
e:“
cany
oupl
easebr
ingusabot
tl
eofnon-
al
cohol
i
cchampagne?
”
Wai
ter
:“comi
ngr
ightupsi
r.
”Shel
eav
es.

Zah:
“whoi
sitf
or?
”
Me:“me.YouknowhowIhat
echampagnesoI
pr
efert
henon-al
cohol
i
cone.
”Shel
aughed.
Zah:
“ t
hat’sarel
ief.It
houghtyouweresi
ckor
something.”MabuthoandZamohshar eagl
ance
andtheychuckle.Ithi
nktheyknow.

Thepr esenterst
art
stal
king.Shethanksdi
ff
erent
compani esandsponsorsforpart
ici
pati
nginthi
s
conference.Shethenst
artsannouncinghowmany
cl
ientseachcompanygot .

Presenter:
“thenextcompanyi sDCC.Ican’t
pronouncet heDnamebutt heCEOi sMi ssCele.
”I
l
aughbecauseshei spronouncingCelel
ikecell
.
“Welltheygotthemselv
es19cl ient
s.”If
reezewhen
shestartsment i
oni
ngthenamesoft hecli
ents.
Me:
“whatt
hef
uck?
”
Zah:
“whati
ntheact
ual
fuck?
”
Kuhle:
“congr
atsl
ove.Youdi
dit
.”Heki
ssesmy
cheek.

Me:
“wow.
”
Xoli
:“t
hisishuge.
”Thepresent
ercal
l
sthe
repr
esentati
vesandZahandXoligotot
hefr
ont
.I
am sti
l
lshocked.Ican’
tevenmove.
.
.
Wear enowdr iv
ingbacktot heapar
tment.Aftert he
wholecer emony,t
heyserv edgreatfoodanddr inks.
It
’snow11pm.Wegett otheapar t
mentandIr ushto
myr oom.Iopenmyl apt
opandSky pemypar ent s.I
knowt heyaremay besti
llsleepi
ngorsomet hing.
Mom i stheonewhoanswer s.

Mom:
“babywhat
’sup?
”tear
sst
art
srol
l
ingdownmy
cheeksandIcan’
tseem t
ocontrolt
hem.Shel ooks
atmewi t
hawor r
iedexpr
essi
on.“Whyar eyoucryi
ng
Lwandlewam?”dadrushestothescreen.
Dad:
“what’
swrongmypr
incess?
”Ishakemyhead
andwipemytear
s.

Me:“nothi
ng.Iam justsohappythatmydreamsar e
comingtrue.GuysIgot19inter
nati
onalbi
gclient
s.I
am j
ustsoexci t
ed,Idon’
tevenknowhowt oexpress
myjoy.Idon’tknowifIshoul
dprayintonguesor
j
uststandinthehighestmountainandshoutIdidi
t.
”
Mom startscryi
nganddadst ar
tsreci
ti
ngCeleclan
names.

Dad:
“thi
sisbi
g.I
tdeser
vesacer
emony.Iam so
pr
oudofyouandIcan’
twaitt
ogi
veyouabighug.”
Mom: “youdi di
tLwandl ewami.Youhavepr oved
your
selfandt othewor l
dthattherei
snothingy ou
can’
tdoi fyouputy ourmindtoit.If
eel
li
kebr agging
ri
ghtnow.If eel
likegoingtoGatewayandst andat
theheartofthemal landshout‘Mydaughtermadei t’
.
Il
ovey
ousomuch.
”

Me: “
Ilov
eyoutooguy
s.Pl
easepr
eparemyfav
ori
te
becauseassoonasIl
andatKi
ngShaka,
Iam
cominghome.”
Dad:“
can’twaitt
oseeyoust
handwaSami
.”Ihang
upandclosethelapt
op.

Kuhle:“
Ithi
nkIam theluckiestmanintheworl
dto
havesuchanamazingf iancé.”It
urntoseehi
m
l
eaningonthedoor.Hehast akenoffhi
scoatand
shoes.Ismil
eandst andup.
Me:
“yousurearedamnluckymyki
ng.Youbet
ter
r
ememberthatalway
s.”
Kuhl
e:“
didIt
ell
youhowmuchIam pr
oudofy
ou?
”I
gi
ggl
e.

Me: “pr
obably10timesthi
seveni
ngbutIdon’
tmi
nd
heari
ngi tagai
n.”Hel
aughsandcomest ome.He
standsbehindmeandunzi psmydress.
Kuhl
e:“
howaboutwecel
ebrateyourvi
ctor
yint
he
Fuhl
eway?
”Il
aughandturntolookathim.
Me:
“whatt
hef
ucki
sFuhl
e?”

Kuhl
e:“
babyFuhl
eisFut
hyplusKuhl
e.Ihear
doneof
mysibl
i
ngssayi
ngit
.”Il
aughagai
nandunhookmy
br
a.
Me:
“itsoundschi
l
dish.
”Hechuckl
es.

Kuhl
e:“i
tdoes.Butwhocar
es?”heplaceshi
shands
onmywai standbri
ngsmeclosert
ohim.“Il
ove
you.
”Ismile.
Me:
“Il
ovey
ou.
”
.
.
WelandatKingShakaanddriv
etomypar ents’
house.Il
aughwhenIseeLele’
scaronthedriveway.
NomaandLeear ealsoher
e.Iguesst
hefolkscall
ed
ever
yone.Wecli
mbof ft
hecarsandgoinside.Kuhl
e
i
sal i
ttl
escaredofmydadbutthat’
showiti
s
supposedtobe.Husbandsshoul
dbescaredofthei
r
fat
her-i
n-l
aws.Theymustbeint
imi
datedandNdosi
omkhuluisveryint
imi
dati
ng.Wegettothel
ounge
andfindever
y onet
her
e.

Lee:“
thebi
l
li
onairei
sint
hehouse.”Sher
ushesto
hugme.“Pl
easebuymeaRoy ceformybirt
hdayt
his
year
.”Wealll
augh.Nomaal
socomest ohugme.

Noma: “
sbwl av acati
ont oapr iv
ateislandchomi.”I
l
aughather .Ev eryonetaket urnshuggi ngme.We
thenmov et
ot hedi ni
ngr oom.Wesi tdownand
everyonedishesf orthemsel ves.Thesmel lofusuis
soinviti
ng.“Yournewf oundl oveforusui sso
questionabl
ebutIam goi ngt oholdoffmyl awyer
ass.”KuhlelaughsandIj ustrollmyey es.

Lel
e:“
soy
ougot19cli
ent
ssisi
?That’shuge.
Meani
ngyouwi
l
lhavetohav
eof f
icesal
lovernow?
”
Me: “
yes.Anexpansi
onthatIhavebeenwai
ti
ngf
or
butIam goi
ngtostartev
eryt
hingaft
ermy
coronat
ion.
”
Lee:
“cor
onat
ion?
”Ichuckl
e.

Me: “havey ouforgott

ent hatIam marryingafutur
e
king?SoImustbeor dainedasacr ownedpr i
ncess.
Itisgoingtobeasepar atecer emonythatwil
lbe
doneaf terIgivebir
th.Orear l
ierift
heancestors
don’tli
kewai ti
ng.”
Noma: “
thesnakeancest
orisdefi
nit
elygoi
ngtorush
thi
ngs.
”Weal ll
augh.“
Kuhlehowdoy oufeelabout
all
ofthi
s?”hesmilesandlooksatme.

Kuhle:
“happy.Sheisgoingtoshowev er
yonet hat
bei
ngar oyal
wi f
edoesn’tmeany oushouldjustrel
ax
andbeahousewi fe.I
tisnotadeathsentence.You
sti
l
lhavetheoppor t
uni
tytochaseyourdreams. ”
Dad:
“Iam st
art
ingt
oli
key
ou.
”weal
ll
augh.
Xoli
:“Fut
hyy ouaresuchaninspir
ati
on.Reachi
ng30
andhav i
ngreachedmostofy ourgoal
s,youarejust
ablackBill
Gateinthemaking.”Il
aughshakingmy
head.
Me:“
Imaynotr
eachhi
slev
elbutIsur
eam t
heCel
e
Bi
l
lGates.
”
Lel
e:“
thel
evel
off
lexandt
hepr
essur
esi
si.
”Weal
l
l
augh.

Gcino:“
lookwhoi stal
ki
ng.I
magineme.The
pressur
eistoomuchf orme.Atleasty
ouar e
famous.Ifeel
li
kedadhasext r
aordi
naryspermst
o
producesuchkids.”
Mom:“Gci
nodon’
tpr
ovokeyourfat
her.Iwon’
t
meddl
ewhenhechoosestobeatyourass.
”

Gci
no:“
mybrotheri
nlawwi
ll
shi
eldme.”Kuhl
e
cl
ear
shist
hroatandweal
lj
ustl
augh.
Dad:
“It
houghtso.Sowheni
sumkhehl
o?”
Kuhl
e:“
mont
hend.
”
Me:
“yoh,
speed.Youwi
l
lcr
ash.
”Hel
aughs.
Kuhle:
“Idi
dtel
lyouthatIwil
lwi
feyouonGood
Fri
daywhichi
sintwomont hsori
namonth.SoI
don’
thaveti
met owaste.
”
Mom:
“theweddi
ngi
sonGoodFr
iday
?”

Kuhle:
“yesma.Iam nott
ryi
ngtocompet
ewi
th
Jesusorsomethi
ng.
”Mom laughs.
Mom: “don’tworryaboutthatson.Wedon’ tattend
theEasterserv
iceinthishouseholdbecausemost
oftheti
meBusi i
swi t
hherinlaws, i
t’
soneoft he
fewtimeswher eFuthyisav ai
l
ablesoshet ravels
withherfri
ends,Lelealwayshasmul ti
plegigson
thatweekend.Sonj eit
’snotspecial
.”

Gcino:“
theni
t’
sset t
led.Si
yatshadisangoGood.”He
standsupandstartssingi
nganddanci ng.Lel
e
standsupandjoinshim.Ijustlaughshakingmy
head.Zahist
akingav ideooftheirmadness.
CHAPTER72

‘
Khokhoi ssit
ti
ngonar ocknearaflowi
ngri
ver.Igo
towhereshei sandsitnextt
oher.Shei
sthrowing
stonesintheri
ver.Ial
sofoll
owsuit
.IwonderwhyI
am here.

Me:
“what
’supt
hist
imear
ound?
”
Khokho:“y
ouhavebeenwarned.Unfor
tunatel
yther
e
i
snothingwecandotoprev
entt hedangerahead.
Justl
earntof
orgi
veandmov eonafterit
.”

Me: “
whatisgoingt
ohappenkhokho?Am Igoingto
l
osemybabi es?Am Igoi
ngtol
oseKuhle?”she
clear
sherthr
oat.Amansurf
acesfrom t
heriverwit
h
thesnakeIsawatKuhle’
sar
oundhisneck.Istand
upandgetr
eadyt
orun.Hechuckl
es.

Man:“i
twon’
tdoany
thi
ngt
oyou.Icamet
o
apol
ogi
ze.
”
Me:
“whoar
eyou?
”
Man:
“Iam Kuhl
ekonke’
sgr
eatgr
andf
ather
.”
Me:
“whatar
eyouapol
ogi
zi
ngf
or?
”

Formerking:
“fornotbeingablet
opreventt
he
dangeraheadandf ornotgi
vingacl
earwarningi
n
ti
me.”Ifr
own.
Me:“
am Igoi
ngt
oloseanyonecloset
ome?”he
l
ooksatmeandthesnakeal
solooksatme.

For
merking:
“alif
eforali
feandroy
altyl
ooksaf
ter
i
tsown.
”Het hengoesbacktother
iver.
Khokho:
“al
i
fef
oral
i
fe.
”Il
ookather
.’
Iwakeupgaspi ngforai
randmyhear tbeati
ngvery
fast.Isther
eany onewhocanpr ovidesomecl ar
it
y
ont hisbecauseIam verylost
?IlookatKuhl ewhois
sleepingpeacefull
ynexttome.Itakehi sphoneand
seet hattheti
mei s5am.Suddenl yIknowwhot o
call
.Iclimboffthebedandgot othebalcony.I
unlockKuhl e’
sphoneanddi alMaShezi’
snumber .
Sheanswer saft
erafewr i
ngs.

MaShezi:“
Nkosana.Whyar eyoucal
l
ingint
hishour
?
I
sev er
ythi
ngokay?”Ihearsomeshuffl
i
nginthe
backgr
ound.
Ki
ng:“i
severy
thi
ngokaybambolwami?”Ihear
Kuhl
e’
sf at
her
.Iwoul
dblushi
fIwasn’
tsti
llshocked
bymydream.

Me:
“mamai
t’
sme,
Fut
hy.
”
MaShezi
:“makot
iisev
eryt
hingokay
?”nowhervoi
ce
i
sster
nandconcerncannotbedeni
edfr
om i
t.
Me:
“Idon’
tknowma.Ij
usthadav
eryconf
usi
ngand
saddr
eam.
”

MaShezi
:“whatdi
dyousee?
”
Me:“mygreatgr
andmother
.Sheusual
l
yvi
sit
smein
mydreamst owarnmebutthi
sti
meshewasn’t
al
one.Shewaswiththel
ateki
ng.
”
Ki
ng:
“whatdi
dhesay
?”IguessIam i
nloudspeaker
.

Me:“t
heybot hsai
dthatt
hedangeraheadcannotbe
pr
evented.Buttheki
ngsaidr
oyal
tyalwaysl
ooks
af
teri
tsown.”Theybothkeepqui
et.Aft
erawhile
MaShezital
ks.
MaShezi:“t
hisisclearl
yanattackonyoubutthey
wi
llbothbepr otect
ingyou.Sowhoeverthatwil
lbe
wi
thy outhattimewi l
lsuf
fert
heconsequences.”

Me:
“that
’swhatKhokhomeantwhenshesai
dal
i
fe
f
orali
fe?
”
MaShezi
:“t
hisi
sav
erydi
ff
icul
tsi
tuat
ionbecause
t
heyar
ejustquiet
.Theyar
enotsay
ingany
thi
ng.I
t’
s
r
eal
lyf
rust
rat
ing.”
King:
“Iam goi
ngt
oaskMthembutotr
y
communicati
ngwi
tht
heancest
ors.
”

Me:“butit’
spoint
lessbecausethedangeri
scomi
ng
anditseemsliketherei
snot hi
ngwecandot o
prev
entit.Maybey oucanjustpray
.”
Kuhl
e:“
STHANDWASAMI
!”heshout
sfr
om t
her
oom.
Me: “IAM I
NTHEBALCONY! ”Ishoutback.“
Wewill
tal
klater
.”Ihangup.Hecomesandhugsmef r
om
behind.
Kuhl
e:“
goodmor
ning.Whyar
eyouupsoear
ly?
”

Me:“
thebabi
eswer
erest
less.Howi
syourday
l
ooki
ngli
ke?”
Kuhle:
“ Iam t
aki
ngtheki
dstospendadaywit
h
Sthabi
le.Idon’
ttr
usther
.Shemightdosomet
hingt
o
them.”
Me:
“okay
.Iwi
l
ljustf
indsomet
hingt
odot
hen.
”

Webot hshowerandprepar
efort
hedayahead.He
thenleav
es.Igodownstai
rsandf
indZamoheati
ng
cereal
.
Me:
“canIal
sohav
eabowl
?”hesmi
l
es.

Zamoh: “
Iloveyourmannersmyl ady.
”Hemakes
cer
ealformeandhandsi tt
ome.“ Youseem t
obe
l
ost.What’sup?Youcant alkt
ome.Iam agood
l
ist
ener.
”Hei sri
ght.Al
thoughhedoesn’tgi
vegood
advi
ces,heisagreatli
stenerandyoucangotohim
i
fyouwantt ovent.

Me:“
nothi
ng.Iam j
ustdown.
”Hesmi
l
esandcl
aps
hi
shandsli
keanidi
ot.
Zamoh: “Thobekai
sinJozi f
ortheweekendto
spendtimewi t
hbae.”Heindicat
eswi t
hhandsandI
j
ustlaugh.Hecanbepl ayfulatt
imes.“Mabuthois
wit
hhisf amil
y,hi
smot hercamet oseethem fora
week.
”

Me:
“hi
smot
her
?Wher
edoesshest
ay?
”
Zamoh:“Bar
cel
ona.Shei
sat
eam managerf
ora
soccert
eam t
here.
”
Me:
“wowt
hat
’shuge.
”
Zamoh: “
yeah.Soshehar dl
ycomesi
nthecount
ry
andMabut hoalsohardl
yhaveti
metogoseeher
becauseofhiswork.”

Me:“okayt
hen.Soi
t’
sjustmeandy
ou.Whatar
ewe
goi
ngtodo?”
Zamoh: “
youfor
gottocountyourgoons.”Ilaugh.
Him, MabuthoandThobekadisli
ketheguar dsKuhle
assignedforme.Theyare4andt heyarealway s
withmebutwhenwear eoutsidehome.“ Anyway s
wecangot oShakaMar i
ne.Youknowhowwat er
canl i
ftone’
sspi
rit
.Aft
erthatwearegoingt ogodo
someshoppi ngandthenmay bewatchamov i
e.”I
l
augh.
Me:
“whydoesn’
tyourf
undayi
nvol
veal
cohol
?”
Zamoh: “becauseyouareexpecti
ng.
”Ifr
ownand
l
ookathi m.“Iknowy ou,
boss.Ihavebeenaround
youf ormorethan6mont hs.Youhaven’
ttouched
alcoholi
namont h.
”
Me:“
you’
recount
ing?”hel
aughsandshrugs.“
Okay
l
etmegogetbathingsui
tandchange.
”

Zamoh:“
yay!Bytheway,Iam dr
ivi
ngtheBugat
ti
today
.Ij
ustwannafeel
thatbeast.
”Il
augh.
Me:
“asi
ngl
escr
atchandy
ouar
edead.
”
Zamoh:“
Iswearont
hev
irgi
nMar
y.”Ichuckl
eand
shakemyhead.

Iheadtothebedroom andchangei nt
oawhite
pleat
edabovekneeshor tsleevedsummermi dwai st
dressandwhitefl
ipfl
ops.Ipackmybat hi
ngsuit,
towelandhat.It
akemywal let,
phoneandBugat t
i
keysandthenheaddownst ai r
s.IhandZamohthe
keysandhesqueals.Iroll
myey es.Wegooutside
andhegoest
ot aket
hecaroutoft
hegaragewhi
l
eI
i
nfor
m myguardsaboutwher
ewear egoi
ng.

Zamohpar ksinfr
ontofmeandIcl i
mbi nside.We
dri
veoutwi t
htheguardsfol
l
owi ngus.Itextmy
fr
iendsaboutmypl ansandtheybothrespondby
sayingt
heywi l
lmeetusther
e.

Me:“howisyourrel
ati
onshi
pst
atusgoi
ng?St
il
la
pl
ayer?”hel
aughs.
Zamoh:
“ther
eisthi
schick.Shei
sn’tl
ikenoot
her
.
Shei
sdoingher2ndyearinvar
sit
y.”
Me:
“shei
saki
dZamoh.
”

Zamoh:“
isshe?
”hewi
ggl
eshi
sey
ebr
owsandIj
ust
l
augh.
Me:
“what
everdude.Sohowi
sshel
i
ke?
”
Zamoh:“If
oundherst i
l
lpure.Shemademechange
myplay
erway s.Iam goingtowif
eherassoonas
shef
ini
shesherdegr
ee.
”
Me:
“awwZamohi
sinl
ove.
”
Zamoh:“
what
ever
.”Hebl
ushesandr
oll
shi
sey
es.I
j
ustl
augh.
Me:
“gothrought
hepet
rol
stat
ionsot
haty
oucanf
il
l
t
hetank.
”
Zamoh:
“okay
.”

Wef il
lthet ankandthendrivetotheShakaMar i
ne.
Wef ir
stbuyt i
cketsf
orWet‘ nWildandt hengo
change.Whi l
ewear eheadingtotherides,Noma
andLeecat chupt ousandwegot ogether.Wehave
alotoff uni ntheSuper
tube, Mul
ti
laneracer,t
he
dropz oneandt hedi
zzyduzi.Ipassont hemamba
tunnelslidebecauseofmyf earf
orsnakes.

Wet hengototheadultpoolwhereweswi m andj

ust
spl
ashwaterateachot her
.Idi
dn’tknowthatI
neededthi
smuchf un.Iam def
ini
telygoi
ngtocome
backherenextti
me.Whenwear etir
edofthewater,
wegototheCargohol
dwhereweeatourlunchat
.
Weorderandt
henourfoodcomes.Wediv
ei n
i
nst
antl
y.

Me: “
thankyouZamoh.Idi
dn’
tknowhowmuchI
neededthis.
”
Zamoh:
“youar
ewel
comemyl
ady
.”
Me:“
Kuhl
eshoul
dpayy
ouext
raf
orspoi
l
inghi
s
wi
fe.
”

Zamoh:“
canIpl
easehav
ethati
nrecor
ding?
”weal
l
l
augh.
Noma:
“wear
eyourwi
tnesses.
”
Zamoh:
“cheer
stot
hat
.”

Whenwear edoneeati
ng,wethenpayandgot ot
he
cinema.WewatchNamasteWahal a.I
t’
sar eal
l
ycute
romanti
cmoviewhichmakesmemi ssKuhlebutI
am notgoi
ngtotexthi
m becauseIdon’twant
Sthabil
ethi
nkingIam pett
yorsomet hing.Weare
havingsomuchf unweendupwat chinganother
mov ie,
FearofRainwhichisaboutagi rl
with
schizophr
enia.

Aftertheendoft hesecondmov ie,wepar tway s.We

can’tgoshoppi ngbecauseit
’sal readylateandIam
supert i
red.Butthatdoesn’
tst opusf r
om jammi ng
tothesongspl ay
ingonmySpot ify.Iam ev en
postingv i
deosonmyI nst
agram andWhat sApp.He
stopsatt heredlightandwet akeaf ewphot os.I
l
aughathi m becauseheisev enpout i
ng.

Thel i
ghtgoesgreenandhet akesoff.Outofthe
blueat r
uckjustcoll
i
deswithourcar.Her ushest
o
mysi deandcov ersmeast hecari
sspi r
ali
ngoutof
control
.Iam screaminguncontr
oll
ably.Thenext
thingIseeisdarknessandmybodyj ustgivesin.
.
.
CHAPTER73

*
**MABUTHONZAMA*
**
Mymi ndli
teral
l
yfrozewhenCart
,oneofFut hy
’s
guards,infor
medmeaboutt heaccident
.Mybr ot
her
wast heonewhodr ovemetothehospit
albecause
thestateIwasi nwasnotgood.Wegett her
eand
rushtot hewaiti
ngroom.If
indCartandtheother
guardswal ki
ngupanddown.Igost rai
ghttoCart.

Me:
“whathappeneddude?
”
Cart:“t
hetr
uckcameoutofnowher eandtookthem
outman.Wewer eal
lshockedbyi
t.Wewer edr
iving
behindthem.I
tjustcameandhitt
heircar
.Almost
asifitwaswait
ingforthem.”
Nsizwa: “
thiswasdef
ini
telypr
emeditat
ed.”Nsizwa
i
smyol derbrot
herwhoisanex-copandanar ms
dealer
.Heandmyf at
herandmyot hersibli
ngsare
gangsters.Iam t
heonlyleadi
ngalegall
ife.

Me:“howi
sFut
hyandZamoh?
”Car
tscr
atcheshi
s
head.
Car
t:“
thedoctorsar
esti
llbusywit
htheprincess,
so
wedon’tknowwhatishappeningwit
hher.But
unf
ort
unatelyZamokuhl
edidn’
tmakei t
.”
Me:
“what
?!”

Cart:“
Iam sorry.
”Ishakemyheadandwal k
backwards.Ikeeponwal ki
ngunti
lmybackcoll
i
des
withsomething.Itur
ntoseeLeestandi
ngwithtear
y
eyes.Shedoesn’taskanythi
ng.Shej
ustpul
lsmet o
ahug.

Tear
sj ustf
lowf
reel
yandIdon’
tevenstopthem.
Shealsodoesn’
tsayany
thi
ng.Sheisj
ustholdi
ngme
ti
ghtl
y.Zamokuhl eismybestfr
iendfrom hi
gh
school.Ihaveknownf orsol
ong.Ican’tbel
iev
eheis
gone,j
ustl i
kethat.Thi
swasdefini
tel
yplanned.Lee
fi
nall
ybr eakst
hehugandwi pesmyt ears.

Lee:
“Iam sor
ry.
”Ishakemyhead.
Me:“i
t’
snotyourfaul
t.I
t’
snobody’
sexceptf
ort
he
oneswhoplannedthi
saccident
.”
Lee:
“yout
hinki
twaspl
anned?
”Ishr
ug.

Me:“
Iam goingt
ofindout.RightnowIneedtolet
mybossknowaboutthissothathecani nf
orm hi
s
f
amil
y.”Shenodsandclearsherthroat
.
Lee:“y
oucango.Iwil
linf
ormy
oui
fther
ear
eany
changeswi
thFuthy
.”Inod.
Me:
“okayt
hanky
ou.
”It
urn.“
Nsi
zwal
et’
sbounce.
”

Lee:
“that
’sy
ourbr
other
?”hecomesandst
andsnext
tome.
Nsi
zwa:“Iam t
hef
amousandhandsomeNsi zwa
Nzama.Thisi
smyli
tt
lebr
other
.”Shechuckl
es.
Lee:
“andIam Dr
.Nkosi
.Mabut
ho’
sfr
iend.
”

Nsi
zwa:
“youshoul
ddef
ini
tel
y…”Ii
nter
rupthi
m.
Me:
“weneedt
ogo.Seey
ousoonLee.
”
Lee:
“okay
.”Ipul
lmybr
otherandweheadout
.

Nsizwa:“
Ifeelsohonoredtof i
nal
lymeetthewoman
whohasmybr other
’shear
t.”Irol
lmyeyesandhe
chuckl
es.Wecl i
mbi nsi
dethecarandItakemy
phoneout.Icall
mybossandheanswer s
i
mmedi atel
y.
Boss:
“thi
sbett
erbegoodNzama.Youcan’
tjustcal
l
amanatt hi
shourwhi
lehei
ssit
ingwi
thhiswifeand
i
sabouttosmash.”

Me:“
it
’si
mpor
tant
.Simel
anei
sdead.Hewas
i
nvol
vedi
nacaracci
dent
.”
Boss:
“you’
rej
oki
ng,
right
?”
Me: “Iam afr
aidIam not
.Iwascall
ingyousot
hat
youcant ell
hisfamil
ybecauseIcan’tdoi
t.
”He
sighs.
Boss:
“whathappened?
”

Me:“Idon’
thav
emuchi
nfor
mat
ionbutwhenIdo,
I
wi
ll
letyouknow.”
Boss:“
okayandIam sor
ry.Iknowhowcl
osey
ou
were.
”
Me: “sure.
”Ihangup.Nsizwadri
vesint
he
war ehousewheretheykeepthegunsandIjustkeep
quiet.Heparksthecarandweclimboff.Wego
i
nsideandIf indmyfatherandsi
bli
ngsalr
eadythere.
IturntoNsizwa.“Youcall
edthem?”

Dad:“
Zamokuhlewasl
ikeasontome.Ihav
etofi
nd
whokil
ledhi
m andmakethatper
sonmeett
hei
r
makersoon.
”
Nsizwa:“
Iknowwher etheacci
denthappened.Mihl
e
l
et’
sgot oyourofficesothatwecanseei fther
eare
camerassurroundingthatpl
ace.”Mihl
estandsup
andtheyheadt oheroffi
ce.Mihl
eismyol dersi
ster
.
Sheusedtobeahacker ,wel
lsheissti
llahacker
becausehackingwi l
lneverl
eaveherbloodbutshe
i
snowahousewi fe.Sheonlycomesher ewhendad
asksher.

Dad:“whodoy
out
hinkmi
ghtbepl
ott
ingagai
nst
yourboss?
”
Me: “
Sthabil
e.Pri
nceKuhl e’sex-wi
fe.Iam sayingher
becauseshehasev eryreasontobebi t
teraboutthi
s.
AlsoNqobileMthiyane.Sher ecent
lysabotageda
proj
ectFuthywasbusywi th.Thosetwodef i
nitel
y
hasmot i
ve.IfIwasi nvesti
gati
ng,Iwouldstartwit
h
them.”

Nkosi
khona:“
Iwil
lcheckthem out
.Giv
emet heirf
ull
names.
”Itel
lhim.Heismyy oungerbr
other
.Hecan
fi
ndanyt
hingandanyone.Heissoclever
.Hejust
di
dn’tli
keschool.Hedr
oppedoutofvar
sit
yduri
ng
hi
sfirstyear.Hetol
dmyparentst
hati
twasjusta
wasteoft i
me.“24hour
s.”Hethenst
andsupand
l
eaves.

Dad:
“gor
est
.Wewi
l
ltakecar
eoft
his.
”
Me:“t
hanky
oubaba.
”Webr
ohugandt
henIhead
out
.

IgettoFuthy’
shouseandIf rownwhenIhearloud
music.Whot hefuckmi ghtbeinsi
de?Iparkthecar
onthedriv
eway ,withdr
awmygunf rom mywai st
andthenheadi nsi
de.Itiscomingfrom t
hegy m
room.Iknowexact lywhot hati
s.Iheadther
eand
fi
ndherpunchingt hepunchingbaghardwhiletears
arestr
eamingdownhercheeks.Igot oherspeaker
andswitchitoff.

Me:
“ki
l
li
ngt
hebagwon’
tbr
inghi
m back.
”
Thobeka:
“Iam i
npai
n.Myhear
tisl
i
ter
all
ytor
nint
o
pi
eces.
”
Me:
“tal
ki
nghel
ps.
”Shechuckl
es.
Thobeka:
“youknowmebet tert
hanany
one.You
knowIdon’tt
alkaboutt
hisstuf
f.
”

Me:
“buty
ouar
egoi
ngt
ohur
tyour
sel
f.
”
Thobeka:
“IDON’TCARE.IHATEMYSELF.IWASN’
T
THEREWHENTHEYNEEDEDMETHEMOST.IWAS
BUSYSCREWI NGFUTHY’SBROTHERINSTEADOF
DOINGMYJOBWHI CHISPROTECTI
NGHER.IAM
USELESS!”

Me: “
SHUTUPANDLI STENTOME!HI STIMEHAD
COME.THEREWASNOTHI NGYOUNORICOULDDO!
BLAMI NGYOURSELFWON’ TCHANGEANYTHI NG!”
shejustbr
eaksdownandcr y
.Itakemyphoneand
text
sLeletocomeASAP.Isi tnexttoherandhug
herti
ght.“
It
’sgoingtobeokay.It’
sgoi
ngtobef i
ne.
”
Fewmi nut
eslaterLel
ewalksin.
Lele:“
Bee.”Shelooksupandr ushestohim.“I
t’
sfi
ne.
Iam herenow.”Shebr eaksdownandwai l
s.Thisi
s
thefir
stti
meIam seei ngherthi
sv ul
ner
able.I
t
breaksmyhear t
.Istandupandheadout .

Igotomyr oom andtakeacol dshower .Tears

str
eam downmycheekswhenIt hinkaboutthegood
ti
mesIhav espentwi thZamokuhl e.Myl i
fewil
lnev
er
bethesamewi t
houthim.Igetoutoft heshowerand
drymybody .Igetdr
essedinjeans, tur
tl
eneckand
boots.Iheadt othekit
chenandmakecof f
ee.WhenI
am donedr i
nkingIheadoutaf t
ert exti
ngKaboutthe
acci
dentbecauseIam sur enobodyt ol
dher.

Istar
tataKFCdri
v et
hruandgetcof feefor
every
oneandthendri
vet othewar ehouse.Ifind
every
oneatMihl
e’sof
fice.Ijusthandt hem coff
ee
andsitdown.

Mihl
e:“
thedri
veofthet
ruckwasLandi
le,
whoisa
f
ormeremployeeofDCC.Hewasinvol
vedinan
i
ncidentthatoccurr
edinNongomai nNovember
.He
wasgivenal eavebuthenevercamebacktoworki
n
January.Ihavehackedint
ohisphone.Tur
nsouthe
wasincont actwit
haDonnaMagnes. ”

Me: “sheisalandsur veyorwhowebeli

evewas
behindtheincidenttogetherwi
thherf
ri
endNqobi
le
Mthiyane.”Nkosikhonamakeshi swayinsi
det
he
off
ice.“Thatwasqui ck.”Hechuckl
es.

Nkosikhona:“If
igured24hoursist
oolong.St
habi
le
andhersisterSthandiwewereseenent
eri
ngaclub
ownedbyNqobi l
eMt hiy
anetwicei
noneweek.It
’s
pret
tysuspici
ousi fyouaskme.”

Me:
“soy
out
hinkt
heypl
annedt
hewhol
einci
dent
?”
Mihle:
“it
’sabeaut
ifulcoi
nci
dence.What’
sthename
oftheclub?
”Nkosikhonatel
lsher.Shest
art
stypi
ng
somethingonherl
apt op.
Nkosi
khona:
“Donnahasbeeni
ncont
actwi
th
Landil
e.Atsomepoi
ntshesenthi
m moneyi
nhi
s
account.
”

Mi
hle:
“foundf
oot
ageoft
hecl
ubbutIcan’
tgeti
n.”
Nsi
zwa:“
whatdoy
oumeany oucan’tgeti
n?I
t
houghty
ouweret
hebest
.”Sherol
lshereyes.
Mi
hle:
“getPr
incessLi
sa.Shecangeti
n.It
rusther
.”
Me:
“oni
t.
”Igetupandheadout
.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
#RI
PZAMOKUHLE
CHAPTER74

*
**MABUTHO*
**
Igett
othehospi
talandheadtothewait
ingroom.I
fi
ndKuhl
ewithFuthy’sf
ri
endsandherparent
s.I
cl
earmythr
oatandt heyal
ll
ookatme.

Me:
“anychanges?
”
Xol
i
:“noty
et.Theyhav
en’
tupdat
edus.
”
Me:“howist
hatpossi
ble?Theyshoul
d’v
esai
d
somethi
ngbynow.”

Zah:“wedon’tknow.Somethi
ngaboutherbei
ngi
na
cr
iti
calcondi
tion.
”Iscr
atchmyhead.
Me:
“Kuhl
ecanwet
alk?
”hel
ooksatmeandt
hen
standsup.Wegot othecor
ri
dorandstandther
e.“
I
needPrincessLi
sa.Howfastcanshegethere?
”he
fr
owns.

Kuhl
e:“
why
?”
Me:“It
hinkImighthav
ealeadonwhodi
dthi
s.I
needhertohacksomethi
ngforme.
”
Kuhl
e:“
whoi
sthat
?”

Me:“Iwoul
drathernotsay
.ButIwi
l
ltel
lyouonceI
hav
eallthepr
oof.”
Kuhl
e:“
Ihat
ebei
ngi
nthedar
k.”

Me:“Iunderstandyourfr
ustr
ations.ButassoonasI
haveeverythi
ngIneed,Iwil
lcomet oy ousot haty
ou
candecideonwhatt odowi t
ht heinformati
on.”He
nodsandt akesouthisphone.Hedi alsanumber
andthenputonl oudspeaker.Thecal l
eranswers
i
mmedi ately.
Cal
l
er:
“bi
gbr
o.”
Kuhl
e:“
Ineedy
ou.
”shecl
ear
shert
hroat
.
Li
sa:“Iam attheai
rport
.RelaxIam inJo’bur
g.Iam
tr
yingtohackintot
hesy stem sothatIcangetthe
nextfl
ightout
.”hechuckles.“
IheardaboutsisFuthy
.
Wear egoingtogetthosebastardswithi
n24hours.”

Kuhle:“
ther
eissomeonewhomi ghthav
eal eadbut
theyneedyourexper
ti
zet
ocracksomething.”
Li
sa:
“whoi
sthat
?”
Kuhl
e:“Mabutho,
Futhy
’sbodyguar
d.”Shekeeps
qui
etforasecondandthenspeaksagain.

Lisa:“
Ihavef
oundafl
i
ghtout.Iwi
l
lbether
einan
hour.Tel
lMabut
hotowai
tformeattheair
port
.”She
thenhangsup.
Kuhl
e:“
youhear
dher
.”Hesi
ghs.
Me:“bestr
ongman.ImaynotknowmuchbutI
knowthatthebossl
adywi
l
lsurvi
ve.Shei
sst
rong
andstubbor
n.Shewon’
tleav
ehermi
l
li
ons
unat
tended.
”Hechuckl
es.

Kuhle:“
yeah.Youareri
ght
.Iam al
sowor r
iedabout
thebabies.Ihavet
hisf
eel
ingt
hattheysomehow
didn’
tmakei t.
”
Me:
“sot
heyar
etwo?
”hef
rowns.
Kuhl
e:“
youknewshewaspr
egnant
?”
Me:“ZamohandImadeabet.Hesai
dsheis
car
ryi
ngmult
ipl
i
esandIsai
dit’
sonebaby
.”Ibr
eat
he
outl
oud.

Kuhl
e:“
hav
eyoucal
l
edhi
sfami
l
y?”
Me:“
hewaslikemybrot
herandhewasmybest
f
ri
endsoitwashar
dformet odel
i
vert
henews.I
j
ustt
oldt
hebigboss.
”
Kuhl
e:“IknowIam aski
ngfortoomuchbutt hi
sguy
pr
acti
call
ysacri
fi
cedhimselff
orFuthy.It
hinkshe
won’
theal i
fshedoesn’
tgetachancet oburyhim.
Canyougethisfamil
ytoholdoffonthe
ar
rangement
sunt
ilshewakesup?
”

Me: “
Iwil
l getdadt otalktot hem becauseIdon’t
thi
nktheywi llhearMe.”myphonebeepsandIl ook
atit
.It
’sat extfrom Mihleaski ngifthepri
ncessison
board.If
rownwhenIseet het i
me.“ WowIdidn’t
evenreal
izet hatit
’s2o’clock.Wi l
l seeyousoon
man.Letmeheadt otheai rport.
”
Kuhl
e:“
sur
e.”Iheadoutoft
hehospi
tal
.
.
.
Ifi
rstgetcoffeeandbur ger
sfrom McDonal dsand
thendr i
vetotheairport.Isi
tatthepar ki
nglot
waitingforhercall
.IfrownwhenIhearaknockon
thepassengerwi ndow.Phar aleprincess.Iopent he
doorf orherandshecl imbsinside.Shetakest he
coffeefrom theholderanddr i
nksitimmedi ately
.

Li
sa:“y
ouaresuchal
i
fesav
er.
”Ichuckl
eanddr
ive
outoftheai
rpor
t.
Me:“Iam notevengoi
ngt
oaskhowy
ouknewt
he
carIwasdrivi
ng.”
Lisa:“cl
everguy.Il
ikeyoual
ready.”Shel
ooksatt
he
backseatandsmi l
eswhensheseesaMcDonal d’s
paperbag.Shet akesitandt
akesoutoneburger.
“Dudear eyousingl
e?Becausey ouaremytypeof
guy .
”Ijustl
augh.

Me:“Iam si
ngl
ebutt
her
eisal
adywhohasmy
hear
t.”
Li
sa:“
yourl
ossthen.
”Iconti
nuelaughi
ng.Inever
knewshewasthiscr
azy.Shestart
seati
ng.“Sowhat
doyouneedfr
om me? ”
Me:“
Ineedyout
ohackintoacl
ub’
sCCTVf
ootage.
I
tisl
ockedandmysi
sterbel
i
evest
haty
oucanhack
i
ntoi
t.
”

Li
sa:
“Mi
hleNzamar
ight
?”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
ofcour
sey
ouknowmywhol
efami
l
yandwhat
t
heydo.
”
Lisa:
“ y
es.It
’smyjobt oknowpeople’
sbusinesses.I
am proudofy ouforchoosi
nganotherpat
hi nli
fe.
Youpr ovedthatanappledoesf
allfarf
rom thetree.
”
Ismile.
Me:
“thanks.
”

Wegett othewarehouseandheadinside.Thi
st i
me
arounddad,Nsi
zwaandt heot
hersarenothere.I
t’s
onlyMihl
eandNkosi khona.Mi
hlestandsupwhen
sheseesLisa.

Mi
hle:
“thenaught
ypr
incess.
”Li
sal
aughs.
Li
sa:“t
hehousewif
eandt
hecur
iousbr
other
.”They
al
lshakehands.
Me:
“Iguessnoi
ntr
oduct
ionsneededt
hen.
”

Mihl
e:“
no.y
oucangoandr
estnowbr
other
.Ev
eni
f
i
t’
sfort
wohour
s.”
Me:
“Iknowy
ouwon’
tletmeof
fthehook.Soi
t’
sfi
ne.
Iam l
eav
ing.Iwi
l
lgetCar
ttocomeandwai
tfor
you.
”

Li
sa:“j
ustcomegetmeafter5hour
s.Iwillbedone
bythen.Meani
ngyouwi
llsleepf
or4hoursand
pr
eparemef oodwheny
ouwakeup. ”Ichuckle.
Me:
“yespr
incess.By
eguy
s.”Iheadout
.
.
.
*
**KUHLE*
**
Ionl ywenttomyhousebecauseNompi l
ocameand
forcedmet ogobat h.Ifitwasn’tf
orher,Iwouldbea
residentatthehospit
al now.It’
stwodaysaf t
erthe
i
nci dentandFuthyhasn’ twokenup.Iam gladthat
shei sstabl
eandt hebabi esareokaybutIreal
ly
needhert owakeup.Iam l i
ter
all
ynotcoping.

It
’sTuesdayandIshoul
dbegoingtowor kbutIhav
e
appoint
edanacti
ngCEO.Iam gladthatFuthymade
Bobherv i
ceCEObecausehej
ustassumesher
responsibi
li
ti
esinherabsence.Ibathandget
dressedinacottonshortandagol ft-
shi
rtwit
h
sandals.Iheadtotheki
tchenandIf rownwhenIsee
LisaandMabut hosit
ti
ngtheredrinki
ngcoffee.

Me:“
whendi
dyouguysgether
e?Andwhydoesi
t
l
ookl
ikey
ouhaven’
tsl
epti
nawhil
e?”
Lisa:“
2day
stobepreci
se.Wehav
ealltheevi
dence
tolockupt
hepeopl
ewhocausedtheacci
dent.
”

Me:“whocausedt
heacci
dent
?”shecl
ear
sher
t
hroat.
Li
sa:
“Nqobi
l
eMt
hiy
ane,
DonnaMagnes.
”
Mabut
ho:
“St
handi
weandSt
habi
l
eGcaba.
”If
rown.
Me:
“Iam sor
ry,
what
?”Li
sahandsmeaf
lashdr
ive.

Li
sa:
“ev
eryt
hingyouneedi
sint
her
e.Ineedt
orest
.”
Shel
eavest
hekit
chen.
Mabut
ho:
“whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odoaboutt
his?
”
Me:“
submiti
ttotheauthor
it
ies.Iknowadetect
ive
whocangett
hem behindbarsbyt omor
row
af
ter
noon.Whatdoyouwannado? ”

Mabutho:
“Iwantthedri
verdeadbutIguessIcan
gethi
m evenontheinsi
de.”
Me: “
whatdoy
oumean?Man,
whoar
eyou?
”he
chuckles.
Mabut
ho: “
Iam BraChi
ll
sson.Thel
egal
one.See
youman.”heheadsoutl
eavi
ngmeshocked.It
ake
mycarkeysandheadout.

Ican’
tbeliev
eSthabi
lestoodthislow.Whatwasshe
expect
ing?Thatshekil
lsFuthyandIgorunni ngback
i
ntoherar ms?Whereassheist heonewhoscr ewed
meov er.Somepeopleareinsaneanddelusional
.I
j
ustcan’tbeli
eveshewouldgot osuchextreme
l
engths.

I
fitwasanot
herper
sonIwoul
d’v
epr
obabl
yki
l
led
herbynowbutIdon’ twantherbloodonmyhands.
Myki dsstil
lneedtheirmother,j
ustthatshewillbe
ther
ef orthem behi
ndbar s.IgettotheGreyvi
ll
e
Poli
ceSt ati
onandheadt ot hehelpdesk.Iaskfor
Detecti
veNcebakazi Shabangu.Someonel eadsme
toheroffice.If
indherdancing.Shechuckleswhen
sheseesme.

Nceba:
“youjustdist
urbedmyTi
kTokv
ideosoy
ou
owemedat a.
”Ilaugh.
Me:“buti
t’
syourdutyt
ohel
pmeandy ouaredoing
per
sonalthi
ngduri
ngworkhour
s.”Sherol
lshereyes
andlooksatme.
Nceba:
“youlookfamil
i
ar.
”Shefrowns.“
Youaret
he
cr
ownedprinceoftheZul
ukingdom?”Ishr
ug.

Me:
“gui
l
tyaschar
ged.
”Isi
tdown.
Nceba:“
sohowmayIhel
pyou?
”Ihandhert
hef
lash
dr
ive.
Me:
“thesepeopl
econspi
redandcausedanacci
dent
thatleftmyfiancéhospital
izedandherdr i
verdead.
Thef lashdri
vecontai
nsal ltheevidenceyouwill
needf orthecase.Atleasthav ethem behi
ndbarsby
tomor roweveningbeforetheyf l
eethecountry
.”She
smiles.

Nceba:“well
mypr i
nceIam notcal
ledt
hebestf
or
not
hing.Alt
houghit
’sweir
dthatyouarenott
aki
ng
matter
sintoyourownhandsseeingthi
sis
per
sonal.”
Me:“Iam notthatperson.Iam afut
ureki
ngsoI
mustleadatransparentli
feandbeagoodexample
t
omysi bli
ngsandt hewhol enati
on.
”
Nceba:“
spokenl
i
keat
ruel
eader
.Gi
veme12hour
s.”
Ismil
e.
Me:“IknewIcoul
dcountony
ou.
”Ist
andupand
headout.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER75

*
**MABUTHO*
**
Yester
dayIwentt oZamoh’ shome.Iwasexpect i
ng
hi
smot hertobebr eat
hingfir
eabouttheacci dent.
Butshewascal m,orrathersadandhur taboutit.
Whensheaskedwhocausedi t,
ItoldherandIal so
i
nformedheraboutt hesuspectsgetti
ngarrested.
Thatseemedtoputhermi ndatease.Sheal so
agreedtopostponeZamoh’ sfuneralf
orthesakeof
Futhy.

RightnowIam atUKZNHowar dcampus.Iam her e

totel
lZamoh’ sgi
rl
fr
iendaboutt heacci
dent.Idon’t
knowhowshei sgoi
ngt oreact.ButIam hopingshe
doesn’tf
aintorsomethi
ng.Ileanont hecarbonnet.I
seeherasshecomest othegat e.Shei
swear ingher
ever
ydaysmile.If
eel
sobadt
hatIam aboutt
otake
i
tawayfrom her.

Mpumi:“
heyBut
ho.
”Shesmi
l
esagai
nthenshe
f
rowns.
Me:
“heyMpumi
.”Shef
oldsherar
mst
oherchest
.
Mpumi:“Iam madatyourfri
endfornotcontact
ing
mesinceSaturdaymor
ning.IfIam madathimt hat
meansIam alsomadaty ou.
”Iclearmythroat.

Me:
“ther
eissomet
hingIneedt
otel
lyou.
”
Mpumi: “
hesentyouheretobr
eakupwithme, i
sn’
tit
?
Heissuchacowar dt
hathedidn’
twanttofaceme
hi
mself.WhatwasIthi
nkingdat
inganolderguy?I
wassetti
ngmy sel
fupforaheart
breakf
rom the
begi
nni
ng.I…”

Me:
“hei
sdead.
”Shest
opsmumbl
i
ngandl
ooksat
me.
Mpumi
:“what
?”
Me: “
hediedonSaturdayni
ghtinacaracci
dent
.I
am sorr
y.”Sheshakesherheadandtear
sstar
t
fal
l
ingfrom herey
es.

Mpumi :“y
ou’relyi
ng.You’r
elying.NotmyMoh.He
wouldnev erl
eaveme.Hesai dithi
mself.Hewould
neverleaveme.Hemadepr omi sestome.Hecan’t
j
ustleavemel ikethat
.”Ipull
hercloserandhugher
ti
ght.Shejustcri
esoutloudwhi lemumbl i
ngthi
ngs.

Me:
“it
’sgoi
ngt
obeokay
.”
Mpumi :
“noitwon’t.Whataboutme?Whatabouthis
chi
ld?Ourli
tt
lefami l
y?Heisjustgoi
ngtoleav
eus
l
ikethat
?”Ibreakthehugandl ookather
.

Me:“whatchi
l
dar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?”shewi
pes
hert
ears.
Mpumi:“Iam si
xweekspregnant.It
ri
edcal
li
nghi
m
onSundaytoinfor
m hi
m buthisphonekeptt
aki
ng
met ov oi
cemail
.NowIknowwhy .Howam Igoingto
raisethi
schil
d?Iam sti
ll
astudent.Ican’
tbea
singlemother
.Mypar ent
saregoingtodisownme
whent heyfi
ndoutthatIam pr
egnantandt hef
ather
i
sdead. ”

Me: “
relax.YouhavemeandThobeka.Wear egoing
tobeher eforyouforever
ythingyouneed.Iwil
ltalk
tomybossandmakesur ethatyouatleastget
R1500mont hl
ytotakecareofthebabyneeds.Just
knowt hatyouarenotalone.”Shewipeshertear
s
whichhav en’
tstoppedfal
li
ng.
Mpumi
:“wheni
shi
sfuner
al?
”

Me:“wedon’
tknowy
etbutpr
obabl
ynextSat
urday
.”
Shenods.
Mpumi
:“okaypl
easel
etmeknowt
heexactday
wheny
ouknow.”
Me:“okay
.Ist
hereanythi
ngyouwouldli
ket
hat
bel
ongstohim bef
oreItakehi
sst
uffbackt
ohi
s
f
ami
l
y?”

Mpumi:“wewil
l t
alktomor
row.FornowIj
ustwant
t
oprocessthi
s.”Inod.
Me:“okay
.”Ihugheragai
nfort
helastti
me.“
Seey
ou
soon.
”Shenodsandheadsbackinside.
.
.
*
**THOBEKANGWENYA*
**
Itakethejacketthatheboughtf ormeonmyl ast
birt
hdayandweari t.Thesuni sv eryhotout sidebutI
feelli
kewear i
ngitwill
makemef eel closert ohi m.I
rememberwhenIl eftonFr i
dayhi slastwor dswer e‘I
am happyt hatyouopenedy ourhear tandy ouhav e
foundt heri
ghtguyfory ou.Holdont ohi m butnot
tootightbecausehemi ghtjustdi e.
’

Il
aughedathi
m andtol
dhim hi
sadv i
cesucksas
al
waysbuthewasright
.Ij
ustdidn’
twannasayitto
hi
sfacetoboosthi
sego.ButnowIwi shIhadsai
dit
i
nst
eadofthelastwordsIsai
dtohi
m whi
chwer
e
‘
whatev
erdickhead.
’

Ihaveknownhi mf or7years.WhenIwashi redat

theDibbersAgency,hewasst il
labodyguard.He
trai
nedmeandl it
erall
ytaughtmeev er
ythingther
eis
toknowi nourli
neofwor k.Hewasv er
yt oughonme
butIam gratef
ulforthatbecauseIl
earnedal ot
from hi
m.

Iheadtot heki t
chenandf i
ndLel ecooki
ng.Ismile.I
f
i
twasn’ tforhim Iwouldbeawr eckoraticki
ngtime
bombbecauseIwoul d’
vekeptmygr i
efi
nside.Iam
gratef
ul f
orhav inghiminmyl i
fe.Hesmi l
esback.I
sitonthebar stoolandlookathim mov i
ngaround
l
ikeheownst heplace.

Lel
e:“IknowIam handsomebutst
opl
ooki
ngatme
l
ikeIam ameal.
”Ilaugh.
Me:
“owwpl
ease.You’
ref
ull
ofy
our
sel
f.
”
Lele:
“Iam aCel
e.Doyoublameme?”Ir
oll
myey
es.
“Iwil
lpuni
shyoufort
hat
.”Igi
ggl
e.

Me:
“sor
ry.
”Hechuckl
es.
Lel
e:“Ithoughtso.
”Hepour
sjui
ceonagl
assand
handsittome.“ Mar
ryme.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“what
?”

Lel
e:“y
ouheardme.Any
way
seatsot
hatwecango
checkuponFuthy
.”
Me:“
hey!Youcan’tj
ustdropabombonmel
i
ket
hat
andt
henbrushitasi
de.”
Lel
e:“
Ihaveaskedaquest ion.Iam expect
ingay es
oranoanswer .I
tisnotsomet hi
ngtobedi scussed.
Youcandiscussthemat t
erwithyourinnerselfbut
minanj
engoMagay e,
Ihavedonemypar t.
”

Me:
“wow.
”Hel
aughs.
Lel
e:“
nowl
etmef
eedy
ou.
”
Hedishesupf orthebot hofus.Hegi vesmemy
pl
ateandsi tsdownnextt omewi thhis.Webot heat
si
lentl
y.Thisfoodi ssodel i
cious.Hei sameancook
butheiscr azyaboutt hismar r
iaget hi
ng.Firstl
yheis
ayeary oungerthanme.Okayt hatisn’
taf actor
becausehei sv erymat ureforhi sage.Buti tistoo
soon.Wehav en’tevendat edf or6mont hsand
al
readyhewant st omar ry.Thisfeelslikeanot her
KuhleFuthysituation.

Lel
e:“don’
tov
ert
hinki
t.Yourbr
ainwi
l
lfr
eeze.
”I
gi
ggle.
Me:
“that
’sj
ustst
upi
d.”Her
aiseshi
sey
ebr
ows.
Lel
e:“
Iam st
upi
d?”

Me:
“don’
ttwi
stmywor
dsBubu.
”
Lel
e:“Iam goi
ngtol etyoumour
nt hi
sweekandnext
weekbutrestassured,aft
ert
hatIam goi
ngtor
ip
yourpussyapart
.”
Me:
“andIam goi
ngt
omakey
ousqueal
li
keal
i
ttl
e
gi
rl
.”Hel
aughs.
Lel
e:“
gameon.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER76

*
**KUHLE*
**
Iam sittingatthevi
sit
ors’chairwhi
leholdi
ngFut hy’
s
hand.Shel ookssobeauti
fulbutherfacehaslitt
le
scratches.Iam sureshewon’ tmakeaf ussabouti t
.
Duringt heaccident
,herl
egandar m wereinjured.I
am sur ewhenshewakesupshewi llberequir
edt o
usecr utches.

Whileholdi
ngherhand,shesqueezesmine.Myey es
popout.Ikeepqui
etthinki
ngmay beit
’saref
lex.Her
eyesopenandshel ooksaround.Ipr
essonthe
buzzerandremovehermask.

Fut
hy:
“Zamoh.Zamoh.Zamokuhl
e.”Shesay
sina
f
aintvoi
ce.Ihat
etobr
eakherheartandIknowthat
l
earni
ngaboutZamokuhl
ewil
lbreakherheart
.
Me:
“babyIam her
e.”Ihel
phersi
tup.Shel
ooksat
mewit
haconfusedface.

Fut
hy:“whyam Iatt
hehospit
al?Wher
eisZamoh?
”
l
ucki
lyIam sav
edbyt hedoct
orwhoenter
swit
ha
nur
se.
Me:“Iwil
lbebackinafewminut
es.
”Iheadoutand
gotothewait
ingroom.If
indLel
ewit
hThobekaand
Mabutho.

Lel
e:“
youseem i
nabet
termood.What
’sup?
”
Me:
“shei
sup.
”theyal
lst
andup.
Thobeka:
“that
’sgoodnews.Nowwhydoy
oul
ook
l
ikeyouhavejustswal
l
owedlemons?
”

Me:
“shei
saski
ngwher
eZamokuhl
eis.
”
Mabut
ho:
“fuck.
”
Me:
“yeah,
fuck.
”Isi
tdownandt
heyal
lsi
t.
Lel
e:“
letmecal
lmom anddad.
”

Mabutho:“
andIwil
lcal
lLeeandNoma.”Afteraf
ew
mi
nutesthedoct
orcomest ot
hewait
ingroom.
Doctor:
“youcangoseehernow. ”Ist
andupand
rushtoherward.If
indhersi
tt
ingonthebedlooki
ng
ontheceil
ing.

Me:
“myl
ove.
”shel
ooksatme.
Futhy:“
Irememberi t.Theaccident
.Wherei
s
Zamokuhl e?
”Iclearmyt hroatandavoi
deyecont
act
.
“Youhav eneverbeent heshyonearoundme.Tal
k
Kuhlekonke.
”Iscratchmyhead.

Me: “
heisgonesthandwaSami.Hediedprot
ect
ing
you.Hedidn’
tsur
v i
ve.
”Sheshakesherhead
r
epeatedl
y.
Fut
hy:
“you’
rel
yi
ng.
”Herv
oicei
sal
readybr
eaki
ng.
“
No,
hei
sokay
.Hei
sfi
ne.Hemadei
toutal
i
ve.
”

Me:“mylov
eplease.Don’
tdothistoyour
self.
”I
cl
osert
oherbedandhol dherhands.“
Calm down.
”
Futhy:“nodon’ttel
lmetocalm down.Heprotected
me.Heshi eldedme.Hesav edmyl i
fe.Whycouldn’
t
theysparehim? ”shest
art
sshakingand
hyperventi
l
ating.

Me: “pl
easecal
m downbabe.Calm down.”Sheisn’
t
calmingdown.“NURSE!NURSE!
”Ishout .Anurse
rushesinqui
ckl
y.“Pl
easesedat
eher .Sheisnot
okay.”
Nur
se:“pl
easemov
eawayf
rom herandl
etmedo
myjob.
”
Me:“youar
egoingt
obefi
nebabe.
”Iki
ssher
f
oreheadandheadout
.
.
.
*
**FUTHY*
**
Hewasagoodper son.Hewasagr eatlist
enerbut
terr
ibl
eatgivi
ngadv ises.Hewasabr eathoffresh
airandhisaurajustscreamedf un,butonlywhen
youwer ecl
osef r
iendswi t
hhim.Inev erconsidered
myempl oyees,empl oyeesespecial
lytheonesIl i
ved
withandtheonesIwor kedsoclosewi th.

Hewasl i
keay oungerbrothertomeandaf riend.I
r
emembert helasthourswespentt ogether
.They
wereoneofthebesthour sofmyl if
e.Ihadsomuch
f
unandIknowt hatwhathappenedt hatdaywill
f
oreverbeengravedinmymi nd.Theti
mewespent ,I
wi
llfor
evercheri
shit.

Iremembert hewayhewassohappyaboutdr ivi

ng
theBugatti.Hesqueal edl
ikeal
itt
legi
rl.Thevi
deos
wet ooksingingandj ustl
aughi
nginthecar.Ikeep
l
ookingatt hem.Thel astmemoryofhi m.Iam yett
o
seehisgirl
f r
iend.IknowIwouldbebey ondbrokenif
somet hi
ngwer etohappentomyKuhl e.Whichis
whyMabuthoshoul
dtakemet
oseeherwhenIget
di
schar
ged.

Kuhlehasbeensounder standingandhehasbeen
hereforme.Iam prettysur eifi
twasanot herman
hewoul dn’
tunderst
andwhyIam mour ningthe
deathofanotherman.I thasbeenadaysi nceI
l
earnedabouthisdeat handIhav en’
tacceptedit
.
Whenev erIseeMabut hoandThobekawal king
i
nsidemywar d,
Iam expect ingtoseehim walkin
behindthem.It’
ssti
llafreshwound.

Kuhle:
“baby.
”Ilookathim.“Whatwouldyouli
keto
eat?
”IknowIam heartbrokenandallbutmybabies’
well
beingi
salsoimportant
,soIfor
cemy sel
ftoeat
fr
om ti
met oti
me.
Me:“i
nhlokonedombol
o.”Hefr
ownsandthen
smil
es.Hetakesouthi
sphoneandtapsonitf
ora
fewsecondsthenheputsi
tbackt
ohispocket
.
Kuhl
e:“
done.
”
Me: “
whenam Iget
ti
ngdischar
ged?Idon’
tli
ke
stay
ingher
e.I
t’
sdepressi
ngformeandmybabi es.
”
Ihatest
ayi
nghereandlooki
ngatthewall
sallday
l
ong.Itr
eal
lyi
sdepressi
ng.
Kuhl
e:“Iwi
l
lgetthedoct
ortodi
schargeyou
tomor
rowmorninglat
estst
handwa.”Inod.

Me:
“wheni
sthef
uner
al?
”
Kuhle:
“si
nceyouar
eawakenow,
iti
sgoi
ngt
obe
thi
sSunday.
”
Me:
“Iwoul
dli
ket
ogoseehi
sfami
l
ybef
oreSunday
.”
Kuhl
e:“
Iwi
l
lar
rangef
ort
hatt
omor
row.
”

Me: “
whodi dthi
s?Whocausedt heacci
dent?
Becausetherewasnowayat ruckcouldcomeoutof
nowhereandt ar
getusjustl
ikethat.I
thadtobe
premedit
ated.
”Hescratcheshisbeard.Iknowhe
doesthatwhensomet hi
ngmakeshi m
uncomfortabl
e.
Kuhle:“i
twasplannedbySthabi
l
e,hersi
ster
Sthandiwe,
NqobileMthi
yanewithherf
ri
endDonna
MagnesandLandi lef
rom t
heNongomai nci
dent
.”I
chuckleandshakemyhead.

Me: “
wow.Yourbi t
terexcausedmemyf r
iendand
almostcausedmemyl i
fetogetherwit
hmybabies’
l
ife.Whatthefuckdidshedot hatfor
?Idi
dn’tst
eal
youawayf rom her
.Whydidshecomeaf t
erme?”

Kuhl
e:“herf
akefr
iendsconvi
ncedhert
hat
,wi
thy
ou
outoftheway,
shecanwar m herwayt
omyhear
t
easi
ly
.”Wow.
Me:“soZamohdi
edf
ort
hatbul
l
shi
t?Wher
eisshe
r
ightnow?”

Kuhl
e:“i
nholdingcel
lswit
hhernewfoundfri
ends.
Mabuthowithhissi
bli
ngsandLisamanagedto
gat
herallev
idenceneededtol
ockall
ofthem away.
”
Me:
“Iwi
sht
heycandi
e,asl
owpai
nful
deat
h,but
pri
sonwil
lbet
hei
rnewhome.Ihopeitopenst
hei
r
mindsandmakest
hem l
essst
upid.Sowherei
smy
car?
”

Kuhl
e:“
beyondr
epai
rsbutIwi
l
lrepl
acei
t.
”Ishake
myhead.
Me:“
no.IwantLi
satoemptyal
lthei
raccount
sand
wi
ththatmoney,
youshoul
dbuymycar .
”Hesmil
es.
Kuhl
e:“
consi
deri
tdone.
”

Me:“wecansendther
estt
oZamoh’sfamil
yandhi
s
gi
rl
fr
iend.Any
wayswhoishel
pingwi
ththef
uner
al?
”
Kuhl
e:“Dibber
sAgency .Hediedondutysotheytake
car
eoft hei
rown.”Inod.“ Myfamil
ywantstocome
andsupportyouatthef uner
al.
”Igiv
ehim aweak
smil
e.
Me:
“theycancome.
”
.
.
Thedoct orhasdischar
gedmeandIst art
edatmy
housewher eIchangedtoaski rt,
sweaterand
sli
ders.Havingacastonthel egandar mli
mi t
smy
choiceoftopsandshoes.Idon’ tthi
nkIam goingto
getusedt owalki
ngwi t
hcrutchesandt hi
sfrustr
ates
mebecausei tmeansIwon’tbeabl etoworkuntilI
takeoffthesecasts.

Wef i
rstpassbyt hemal l
,wegot oWoolieswher e
webuygr oceri
esandt henweheadt ot
heSi melane
household.IguessKuhleisparanoidbecausethe
numberofmyguar dshasdoubl edandInowt ravel
l
ikeapr i
ncess.Wi t
hthreecar
sandt wooft hem
consi
stof8ar medguar ds.

Wegett oZamoh’ shomeandwecl imboffthecars.

ThobekaandMabut hotakethegrocer
iesandwe
headinsi
det hehouse.Weexchangegreeti
ngsand
MabuthoandThobekagopl acethegroceri
esinthe
ki
tchen.Iguesstheyknowthei
rwayar oundhere.
Theycomebackandt heyl
eadmet oar oom where
wef
indwomensi
tt
ingont
hesponge,
Iguesst
hisi
s
t
hemourni
ngr
oom.

Mabutho:“sani
bonanibomama.KaMakhobathi
sis
ourboss,Ntombifut
hiCel
e.”Sher
ev eal
saweak
smil
e.IguessthisisZamoh’smother.
KaMakhoba: “
youcancomeandsi tnextt
ome. ”I
nodandl impt oher.Isitdown.IknowIwi l
lneed
helpstandingup.“Thanky ouforbeingagood
employertomyson.Fort hepastfewmont hshe
wasv eryhappy .Hetalkedabouty ousomuchIev en
thoughthehassomet hingf oryou.Butwhenhet old
meabouthi syounggirlfr
iend,Iknewhewasj ust
fondofy ou.”Ismil
e.

Me:“hewassuchagr
eaty
oungmanandwasf
ull
of
l
if
e.”
KaMakhoba:“
howwasheonhi slasthours?”Iopen
myphoneandplayvi
deosforher.Shetakesthe
phone.Shegi
ggl
eswit
htearsstr
eam downher
cheeks.“
Hewassohappy.
”
Me:“hewasindeed.Iwasdownont
hatdaybuthe
managedtocheermeup. ”

KaMakhoba: “Iwoul
dli
ketoplaythesevi
deosatthe
funer
al.We,ashisfamil
y,needtoknowthathewas
happyinhislasthour
s.Iguessthi
sisthecl
osur
ewe
needed.”
Me:“okayma.Thereissomethi
ngIwantust ot
alk
aboutbutwewil
ltal
kaftert
hefuner
al.FornowIjust
wantedtoseehowy ouguysaredoi
ng.”

KaMakhoba:
“seey
ousoonsi
si.
”
Me:“okayma. ”Webi dfarewel
landthenwel eave.
Mabuthodri
v esust oHowar dcampus.Ineedt osee
Zamoh’sheart.Wegett hereandfi
ndheralreadyin
theparki
nglot.Idon’tknowherbutIcanseet hat
sheisnotdoingwel l
.Shesmi l
eswhensheseesus.

Mabutho:“
mfazikabaf
o.”Shegi
veshi
m aweak
smi
le.Theyexchangehugswit
hMabuthoand
Thobeka.“
Thisi
sFuthy
,ourbossandbossl
adyt
his
i
sMpumi ,hi
sheart
.”
Me:
“ni
cet
omeety
ou.
”

Mpumi:“
li
kewi
se.”Iopenmybagandt
akeoutaf
ew
not
esandhandthem toher
.
Me: “
thiswon’tbri
nghim backbutpleasetakecar
e
ofyoursel
fandhi sseed.
”Mabut hotol
dmeabout
thepregnancy.“Andwewi l
ltal
kmor eafterthe
funer
al.Justknowt haty
ouar ewelcomedt her
e.
Evenhismot herwantstoseey ou.
”

Mpumi
:“t
hat
’sgoodt
oknow.Thanky
ousi
si.
”
Me:“
Iwantyoutoknowthaty
ouwon’tsuf
ferwhi
l
e
wearest
il
lal
iv
e.”Iopenmyarmsandshecomesto
hugme.
.
.
CHAPTER77

Todayisthef uneral.I
t’
sav er
ysaddayf orev
ery
housemat e.Kuhleforbademet ogotothenightvi
gil
stat
ingthatIam notwel ltobesit
ingthewholeni
ght
i
nat ent
.Imi ghtev encatchacold.Heisdramati
c
buthewasr i
ghtwhi chiswhyIdidn’
tgo.

Wet akeashowert oget

herwi thhim doingmostof
thewor kbecauseofmyi njuri
es.Whenwear edone,
helotionsbothourbodi
es.It hengetdressedi na
blackoffshouldermaxidresswi thbl
acksl i
derand
blackdoek.Kuhleiswearingabl ackshirtwit
hblack
chinos,bl
ackloafer
s,bl
ackcoatandhi sf ami
ly
l
eopar dski
nonhi sshoulders.
Me:
“ist
hatnecessar
y?”hesmi
l
es.
Kuhl
e:“myfamil
yisgoingtobethereandtheywil
l
comeasr oy
alt
ynotjustnormalpeopl
e.”Which
meanstheywil
lbewear i
ngthei
ranimalpri
ntsal
so.
Thestar
estheyaregoingtogetbawo.

Me:
“dr
ama.
”
Kuhle: “
don’
tworry,
youwi l
lgetyoursinaf
ew
mont hs.”Ir
oll
myey esandhel aughs.Wefi
nish
everythi
ngandweheaddownst air
s.Weeatcereal
andthenheadout .WefirstgotofetchMpumi and
thendr i
vetohishomestead.

Wegett otheSimelanehomesteadandf i
ndthem
alr
eadyont hei
rwaytothehall
wheret heser
viceis
goingtobeheld.Weallgett
here.Mabuthoushers
ust othesecondrowwhereweset t
ledown,thethi
rd
rowi sempty.Wonderwhowillbesi
tti
ngther
e.

Theser
vicecommencesandj
ustast
heycal
lthe
secondspeaker ,every
onet urntheirheadt olookat
thedoor .Ialsoturnandseet heZuluroy alsmaking
thei
rin.manyoft hepeopl estandup, ment akeoff
thei
rhat sandwomenbow.Theycomeandsi ton
therowbehi ndus.Af t
ersettl
ingdownt heser vi
ce
fi
nall
ycont inues.Drama.Theycal lMabut hoand
Thobekat ot hefront.Thobekai sthefir
stonet otake
themi c.Shei swear i
ngabl acksuitandy oucant el
l
thatshei sshiel
dingal lheremot i
ons.

Thobeka:“Zamokuhlewasl ikeanolderbrotherto
me.Het ookmeunderhi swingwhenIf i
rstjoined
theDibber
sAgencyf amil
y.Hetrai
nedmeand
basi
callymademet hepersonIam today.Wor king
forMissCelewasnotourf i
rstt
imewor kingtogether
butitwasdefini
tel
yt hebest.Hewasnat urall
ya
bubblypersonbutdur i
ngthepastfewmont hshe
becamebubbl i
er.”

“
Wenevert
houghthewoul
dsett
ledownbecause
t
heZamohweallknewandl
ovedwasanaturalbor
n
player.Whenhef oundhislovei twasli
kehewas
bornagai n.Hehadthisunexplainabl
eglow.Hewas
alwayshappyandhewoul dl i
teral
lyl
osehismi nd
whenhi sheartwasn’tspeakingt ohi
m.Itwar msour
heartstoknowt hathehasl eftapartofhim behi
nd
thatwewi l
lal
waysber emindedofhi m whenwe
l
ookati t.RestinPowerMagut shwa.
”

Mabut ho:“wehav eknowneachot herformor ethan

10y ears.Weat t
endedhighschool t
oget her
.We
sharedmostt hings.Weev ensharedthesame
dream ofwor ki
ngf orabodyguardcompany .I
t
becamear eali
tywhenwewer ebot hhired.”

“Hewasanat uralj
okerandIhadgot tenusedto
havinghim around.WhenMi ssCel
ehi r
edus,we
weresohappyt hatwewi l
lspendmostofourt ime
together.AsThobekahasment i
oned,thepastfew
mont hshavebeenabl ast
.Whenhet oldmet hathe
hadf oundawomanwhom hewant stospendt he
restofhisli
fewi t
hIjustrol
ledmyey esandsaid
‘
anot
herone’
,l
it
tl
edi
dIknowt
hatt
hisonewasi
t.
”

“Iam j
ustsadt hathediedwi t
houtwi fi
ngher
becauset hatwasi nhisplans.Hef ellheadover
heelsi
nl ovewi thMpumi anditmademehappyt hat
hewasqui t
tinghisplayfulwaysandcommi tti
ngt o
onewoman.Thepeopl ewhodi dthis,
”helooks
downandcl earshisthroat,“
Justicewi l
lbeserved
forbafo.RestinPeaceLokot hway o,Phangode
kankosi.
”Theygobackt otheirseats.

It’
sagr eatser vi
ce.Peoplearespeakingsohi ghlyof
him.Somear eevenmaki ngjokes.It’
snotaf uneral
,
ratheracel ebrat
ion.Hisbossf rom DibbersAgency
talkssohi ghlyofhim.Wel aughwhenhet al
ksabout
thetimesZamohandMabut hohavepr ankedhim.
Hissiblingsalsot akethestage.Theyar ealit
tl
e
emot ionalbutIguesst heyar econsoledbythe
whol eenv i
ronmentwhi chiscomf orti
ng.Whent hey
aredone, theMCcal lsme.Igot othest age
accompani edbyKuhl e.
Me: “ever
ythingever
y onehadsai dt oday,Ihave
witnessedit.Zamokuhl ewasagr eatguy.Good
l
istenerandbadadv icegiver.”Ihearaf ewchuckl es.
“Hehadhi spr of
essi
onal moment sbuthewasj ust
himselfmostoft hetime.He, Mabut hoandThobeka
wer emoret hanmyempl oyees.Theywer ef amil
y.”

“Onourov erseast
ripshewoul dalway sspeakZulu
topeopleheknewv erywel lcoul
dn’tunderstandit.
OnSatur dayIhadabaddr eam andmymoodwas
j
ustsomberf r
om thebegi nningoftheday .He
suggestedthatwegot ouShakaMar ineforaf unday,
thengoshoppi ngafterthatgoseeamov ie.
”Iclear
myt hr
oat .

“Hewasv er
yexcitedaboutdrivi
ngt hebeast .Sur
e
wehadconnect edbeforebutont hatdayi twas
dif
fer
ent.Hetol
dmeal otabouthi mself.Hewashi s
usualf
unself.Weev entookalotofv ideost oget
her
whichtheywil
lplayaft
erIsitdown.Resti nPeace
Zamoh.Youwil
lal
waysbel
ovedandmi
sseddear
ly.
”
Ibr
eat
heoutloudandgosi
tdown.

Theyplaythev i
deosandsomecr ywhileot hers
l
augh.Hewassi ngi
ngandot herhewast al
king
abouthowmuchhel ovesMpumi .Onanot herhe
wast al
ki
ngabouthowmuchhel oveshi
sf ami l
yand
whathei ssti
llgoi
ngtodof orthem.Theyf inish
pl
ayingthevideosandt heservi
cecomest oanend.
Peoplepreparetomov etothecemet ery.Weal l
mov eoutsi
de.KuhleandIgot owher ehisf amilyi
s
at.Weexchangegr eet
ings.

MaShezi
:“howar eyoufeeli
ngmakoti
?”sheand
MaMolef
ear etheonlywiveswhocameandIam
genui
nel
ygratefulf
orthei
rsuppor
t.

Me: “
aboutZamohIam st il
lsadbuteveryt
hing
happensforareason.Icanbeangr yatthe
ancestor
sfornotprotect
inghim buti
t’
snouse
becauseheisgone.Iwi l
lbeokayast i
megoesby.I
t
i
sjustgoi
ngt
obewei
rdwi
thouthi
m att
hehouse.
”

MaMolefe:“weunderstandhowy oufeel
.Ifyouneed
anyadvi
ceorj ustt
otalk,y
ouknowwher et ofind
us.
”Ismile.“Youdoknowt haty ouarenotallowed
togotothecemet ery
?”Isigh.Konje.Mabutho
comestowher ewear estanding.

Me:“pl
easet
akethebouquetIboughtandgowithi
t
tot
hecemetery
.Youcantakethecar.Youwil
lfi
nd
usatZamoh’
shome.”
Mpumi:“
am Ial
l
owedt
ogo?
”sheasksi
nasmal
l
voi
ce.

Me:“ofcour
se.Youar
efami
ly.Saygoodbyet
ohim
forme.Mabuthogowit
hher
.”Theybothheadtot
he
car.
Sbo:“okay,l
et’
sgoeat
.”Ir
oll
myey
esandhe
chuckles.
Weheadbackt otheSimelanehousehold.My
fri
endsandf ami l
yalsocame.Dadwasf ondof
ZamohsoIam notsur pri
sedthathecame.Weget
toZamoh’ shomeandi tseemsl i
ketheywere
alr
eadywai t
ingf orus.Wewashourhandsandwe
areledtoapr ivatemarque.Discr
iminat
ioneveni
na
funeralbahl
alibutIguessIshouldgetusedtothe
factthatmyf atherinl
awi snonormal man.Heis
theekingoftheZul ukingdom.

Noma: “
areappl
icati
onsfort
hesixt
hwifeopened
myking?BecauseIcouldgetusedtot
hiski
ndof
t
reat
ment .
”Weal ll
augh.
King:“wouldy
ouqui
tyourj
obandcomel
i
vei
nthe
palacewithme?”

Noma: “comeonman.Youhav e5wi

vesli
vi
ngwit
h
youalready.Iwoul
dbet hecit
ywi
fewhocomesin
ceremoniesandcertai
nweekendsbr
ingi
ngsweet
s
forthekids.
”Thekinglaughs.
Kuhl
e:“
stopmaki
ngusl
aughNomal
anga.
”
Noma:“
Zamohwould’
vewant
edustobehaveli
ke
t
hisi
nhisf
uner
al.Hewoul
dn’
twantuscr
ying
f
orev
er.
”
Lee:“t
ruethat
.Andhewouldalsowantustodri
nka
l
ot .
”Xoli
,ZahandKwenttothecemetery
.Ifr
own
whenIseewai t
erscomingwit
hstart
erst
ous.Five
startr
eatmentneh?Got
talov
et r
avel
li
ngwit
hroyal
ty.

Peopl ecomebackf r
om t hecemet eryandtheyst art
servi
ngf ood.Theycomet oourmar quewi t
hserv i
ng
dishes.Whent heyar eaboutt odi sh,Sbostopst hem
andt ell
sthem t hatwewi ll di
shforour selv
es.
MaMol ef
edi shesf orhersel f
,herhusbandandsi ster
wife.Kuhledi shesupf ort hebothofuswhi le
everyonedi shesupf orthemsel ves.Myf amilyand
fr
iendsal sojoinusi nthemar que.KaMakhoba
comest othemar quewithMpumi .Istandupand
meett hem hal fway.

KaMakhoba:“
youshoul
dn’tbemov
ingupanddown
l
iket
his.Youwon’
theal
.”
Kuhle:“
pleasetel
lhermama.”Igi
vehi
ma
thr
eateninglookandhej
ustchuckl
esandgoesback
tohisfood.

KaMakhoba: “Iwantt
ot hankyouforcoming.Most
ly
IfeelhonoredtohavetheZuluroyal
sattendmy
son’sfuner
al.NowIknowhowi mportanthewasto
otherpeopleandhowmuchofani mpacthemadet o
people’
sliv
es.”Thekingstandsup.

King:
“hewasagoodboypl ushedi edpr
otect
ingone
ofourown.Wewi l
lforeverbeindebtedt
othis
famil
y.”Zamoh’
smot hergivesaweaksmi l
e.

KaMakhoba: “hepr
eparedmef orthi
s.Healway s
tol
dmet hatifhediessavi
ngorpr ot
ecti
nghisbossI
shouldn’
tworrybecausehewoul dbeinpeace
knowingthathisbossiswellandsafe.
”Ifeeltears
fal
li
ngonmycheeksandIqui ckl
ywipethem.
“Anywaysthanksagainforcomingandtravelsafely
j
ustincaseIdon’tseeyouf ort
hesecondt i
me. ”She
l
eaveswi
thMpumi.Iguesst
heyar
ebestf
ri
ends
now.Wesitdown.

Lee:
“whoi
sthel
i
ttl
egi
rl
?”
Me:
“Zamoh’
sgi
rl
fr
iend.
”
Xol
i
:“shei
ssohumbl
eanddownt
oear
th.
”

Me:
“youknowher
?”shenods.
Xol
i
:“weev
enhungoutacoupl
eoft
imes.
”
Me:
“mmm.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER78

*
**STHABI
LEGCABA*
**
I
t’sTuesdayni ghtandIam al oneinmycell
.Wewer e
deniedbai
lyest erday.Mainlybecausenomoney
wasposted.Appar entl
ytherewasnomoneyi nall
ouraccounts, evenNqobi l
e.Iregr
etmydecisi
ons.I
wishIcouldt urnbackt heclock.Whatpi
ssesmeof f
themostist hatourmi ssionfail
edandnowIam
l
ockedupi nher ef orIdon’tknowhowlong.

IguessIshoul dbehappyt hatIam notshar ingacel

l
wit
hanyonebutt hi
splaceiscr eepy.Whenthey
swit
chofft hel i
ght,t
heonlylightthatli
ghtsupisthe
onecomi ngf rom thewindowwhi chisthemoonli
ght.
Myparent sdidn’tbothercomi ngtov i
sitmeor
anyonefort hatmat t
er.Iam sur ethatf
atbimbois
wai
ti
ngf
orat
imet
ocomeandgl
oati
nmyf
ace.

Iam luckybecauseKuhl edoesn’ tbelieveinaney e

foraney eorelseIwoul dbesixf eetunder .AlsoIam
pret
t ysurethereasonIam st i
l
l ali
v eisthatIam the
mot herofhiskids.Ot
hert hanthat ,Iam prett
ysure
thewhal ewould’veorderedmyhi tandhewoul d’
ve
j
umpedwi t
houtevenquest i
oningher .Inowknow
howmuchhel ovesherandt herewi l
lneverbea
SthaandKuhl e.Idestroyedevery thi
ngf ormyself
andIr egreti
t.

Somet hingt
ellsmet osi tupandIdo.Theyhav en’t
switchedoffthelights.Therei
ssomeonewhoi s
standingnearthedoor .Heiswear i
ngbloodycl othes.
Godpl easedon’ttell
met hi
siswhatIthinkitis.Iam
beinghaunted.Hesmi lesandlooksstr
aightintomy
eyes.Hiseyesar etearyandar eful
lofsadness.

Man:“doyouknowwhoIam? ”Ishakemyhead.I
am al
readybr
eathi
ngabnor
mally
.Iam scar
edto
deat
hr i
ghtnow.Het akestwostepsfurtheri
ntot
he
room andlooksaroundthenhi
sey esfindmine
agai
n.“Usey ourwords.
”Iswal
lowhar d.
Me:
“Idon’
tknowy
ou.
”hechuckl
es.

Man:“myl i
fewasf i
nall
ycomi ngtogether
.Iquitmy
pl
ayerway sbecauseIhadf oundmysoul mate.To
maket hi
ngsgreater
,sheiscar r
yingmyhei ror
hei
ress.ANDYOUFUCKI NGTOOKTHATAWAY
FROM ME! ”hi
slasttonemakesmej umpupi nfear
.I
am notstandi
ngbyt hewindowandhei sinthe
middleoftheroom.“WHY?WHYDI DYOUTAKEI T
AWAYFROM ME? !
”

Me: “
Idon’tknowwhoyouare.WhywouldImake
yousuf f
erwhenIdon’
tknowwhoy ouar
e?”he
chucklesandshakeshi
shead.
Man:“st
oppatr
oni zi
ngme.Youhav esurel
yseenme
onceortwi
ceiny ourli
fe.Don’
tbeignorant.
”Il
ook
cl
osel
yandIinstantl
yrecognizehi
m.OMG!Hei sthe
bi
mbo’sdri
ver
.Ifhei sherehaunti
ngme, thatmeans
hedi
edi
nst
eadoft
hebi
mbo.

Me:“i
twasami st
ake.Youwer en’
tsupposedtodie.
Youbroughtt
histoy oursel
f.Youcoul
d’v
ej umped
outofthecar
.”Hel aughsandwi t
hinabli
nkofan
eyeheisri
ghtinfrontofme.

Man: “Iwanty out ohi ty

ourheadi nthewal l
repeatedlyuntil
y out akey ourl
astbreath.
”Ishake
myhead.“ Icoul
ddot hi
st heeasywayort hehard
way .I
fyoudon’ tdoi tnow, Iwi
llhauntyoudayand
nightuntilyouev entuall
yt akeyourli
fe.Bett
ernow
thannev er.”Hepl aceshishandonmycheekandI
scream whenIf eel myheadcol li
dingwiththewall
.
“Thereyougo.Nowcont inue.”

“Whil
eati t
, t
hinkaboutyourmiserablel
if
e.Youare
notthatspecial.Soonyouwi l
lbetransf
err
edtoa
cell
fullofthir
styfemalealphaswhowi l
lwantto
rapeyouandmakey outheirbi
tch.Youhavecr
ossed
somanypeopl einyourli
febefore.Youarebet
terof
f
dead.Futhywil
lbeamuchbet
termot
hert
hany
ou
wil
leverbe.”

Me: “
STOP!
”Ihitmyheadont
hewal
lrepeat
edl
yunt
il
Ihearmyskul
lcracki
ng.

Man: “youar enearl

ythere.Thi nkabouty ourcousins.
Theyar ealreadyhavingaf i
elddayabouty oubeing
here.Themedi aiswrit
ingal lsort
softhingsabout
you.Cal l
ingyouawi tch,Iev enheardthatthepr i
nce
i
spl anningonhost i
ngapr essconf er
encewher ehe
i
sgoi ngt otalkaboutther easonwhyy ouguy s
divorced.Yourlif
eisov er.Youar euselessnow.You
arenot hi
ng.”

Ibangmyheadagai nmorethaneverunti
lIfeel
my selfgett
ingweak.WhenIam abouttogodown,
thi
smangr absmyheadandcont i
nuesbangingiton
thewal l
.Ihavenovoicet
oscream.Iam justsil
entl
y
prayingthatIatl
eastbeagoodguardianangelto
myki ds.AmahleandZweliIam sor
ryforhowIl i
ved
myl i
fe.Il
ov eyousomuchdon’ tforgetthat
.Icl
ose
myey esandt henIfeelmysoul sl
owlyleavi
ngme.
ThisistheendofSt habi
leGcaba.Kill
edbyaghost
thatIindi
rectl
ykil
l
ed.
.
.
*
**NQOBI
LEMTHI
YANE*
**
Iam sof r
ustrat
edandpi ssed.Somanyanger
emot i
onsar egoi
ngthroughmymi nd.Iwishedwe
could’
vejusthir
edahi tmant otakeoutt hest upi
d
Futhyinsteadofalousyaccidentwhi chleftherwith
afewscar s.May bet
heki dnappingplanwoul d’ve
beenbet t
erbecauseev enifwewer ecaught,atthe
endoft hedayshewoul d’vedied.

Myhat eforherstartedwaybacki nourfi

rstyear.
Shewasnat urall
yasmar tgir
l.Sheandherf r
iends
part
iedalmostev eryweekendbutshewoul dn’tmiss
cl
assesordeadl i
nesandshewoul dalways
part
ici
pateinclass.Sheknewhowt obalance
ever
y t
hinginherlif
e.Shewasaf avour
it
etomost
l
ect
urer
sandt
hatannoy
edmet
othecor
e.

Ihadasill
ycrushonLethukut
hulaHlongwaandI
wasshatter
edwhenIsawhowcl osetheygrewov er
theyear
s.Shehasmanagedt obet hecenterof
att
enti
onwher ev
ershegoes.Ihateherwithever
y
fi
berinmybeing.Whatmakesmat t
ersworseisthat
myf amil
ysometimescomparemet oher.

Ihaveacompanybuti tisnotassuccessf ulas

Futhy’
s.I
fIdidn’tknowhowdet erminedandgood
sheisatherwor k,Iwould’
v eprobablysaiduthwele.I
havetri
edsabotagingherf orasmanyt i
mesasI
couldrememberi nthepastbutsomehowmypl ans
al
way sbackfi
red.Shei sn’
tonlyconsideredthebest
i
nSout hAfri
cabuti nthewhol econtinent.

Iam sur
eshehadahandi nmyf undsbei
ngdriedup.
It
’sonl
yamat t
erofti
mebeforesomeonebuy smy
companybecauseiti
ssinki
ng.Therear
eabout10
permanentworker
s.Whenwear econst
ruct
ing,we
arealwayshir
ingpartt
imeconst
ruct
ionworkers.I
couldn’
tevenaffor
dalawyerandmyf ami
l
yr ef
used
tohelpbecausetheyaref
edupaboutmyobsessi on
withFuthy
.

Onethi
ngseemst obegoi ngwel linmylif
e.Ihavea
si
nglecell
,eventhoughitstinkslikeit
’saslaught
er
housebutatleastIhavepr i
vacy.Iwonderhow
Donnaisdoing.Iam ashamedofhav i
ngdraggedher
i
ntothi
sbutshei smyr ideordieandsheswor et
o
sti
ckwithmet hroughthickandt hin.

Thedooropensandaguar dget
si n.sheismuch
fr
iendl
ytome.May beshethi
nksIhav emoneyor
something.Sheiscarr
yingaburgerwi t
hfri
esanda
gl
assofwi ne.Shesmilesandhandsi ttome.

Guar
d:“
thi
sisr
oyal
treat
ment
.Don’
tgetusedt
oit
.”
Idon’
tev
enwaitforhert
osaymore.It
akethefood
anddigi
ninst
ant
ly.I
t’
sbeensol
ongsinceIhad
nor
mal food.Ifi
nishwithi
nafewmi nut
esanddown
myglassofwi neononego.Shet akestheutensi
l
s
andgetsout.Ili
eont hebedandfacetheceili
ng.
Fewmi nutesl
aterthedooropensandIsitup.

Me: “youbroughtmedeser t
?”Igetnoresponse.I
frownwhenIseet hekingoft heZuluki
ngdom and
Futhy’sfat
herenteringmycel l
.NowIam indeep
shit.WhatwasIt hinki
ngmessi ngwitharoyalfi
ancé?
Theybr oughtchair
s.Theysi topposi
temybedand
theyseem relaxed.“Greet
ings.”

Futhy’
sdad: “
wearenothereforapet
ty
conversat
ion.Gi
veitafewminutest
okicki
n.”I
fr
own.Whati shetalki
ngabout?

Isi
tsti
ll
ont hebed.Iam soner vousri
ghtnow.Iam
shaki
nglikealeaf.Idon’ tknowwhatthesemen
wantfr
om me.OkayImayhav eanidea.Imessed
wit
htheirdaughter,probablytheyareher
et oki
l
lme.
Butwhyar etheysor elaxed?Theyarehavinga
conver
sat
ionbutnott
ool
oudf
ormet
ohearwhat
theyar
esayi
ng.

Ifeelairleavingmyl ungsandIam f ail

ingtobr eat
he.
Whati shappeni ngtome?Igaspf orairanditseems
l
ikeIam maki ngmat t
ersworse.Itryspeakingbutit
seemsl ikewor dsarestucki
nmyt hroat.If
eel an
urgetot hrowupandIcan’ tstopit.Ivomitont he
fl
oorandt earsst r
eam downmycheekswhenIsee
thatIam t hrowi ngupbloodmi xedwithwhatIat e.
Whatdi dt hesemendot ome?

Futhy’sdad:“
Ntombif
ut hiCel
edidnotbir
thher
sel
f.
Shei smysperm.Shei smydaught er
.Youmess
withwhat ’
smineandIr et
ali
atenotwell
.Iny
ournext
l
ife,stayawayfr
om mydaught erandlearnt
ofend
foryoursel
fli
keshedid.”hestandsup.

King:“younearlykil
ledthefut
ureofmykingdom and
forthatpassmyr egardstoLuci
fer
.”Healsost
ands
upandt heyheadout .Thesemenpoisonedme.I
keeponv omi
ti
nguntil
Icanl i
ter
all
yfeelmy
i
ntest
inesrol
l
ing.Il
osebalanceandf al
lonmyown
vomit
.Ihavenopowert ostandup.Icanfeel
my
soull
eavi
ngmybody .WhatwasIt hinki
ng?
.
.
*
**LANDI
LE*
**
ThesecondPAwar nedmebutIchoset obe
i
gnorantandl
ist
ent oawhi tewoman’sadv i
ce.NowI
am l
ockedupinthislonel
ycell.Myparentshadso
manyhopesforme.Ev eryoneknowsthatwheny ou
gethi
redatDCCy ouwor kyourwayup, youdon’t
endupbeingj
ustaconst ructi
onworkerfortherest
ofyourl
if
e.

Futhyisav erykindwoman.Shewasi mpressedbya

workIdi dinat woroom thatIbui
ltformyy ounger
si
blings.Idon’tevenknowwher eshewascomi ng
fr
om.Shej usttoldmetobr i
ngmyCVonMonday
butthatwasj ustaformalit
y.Shedidn’tev
enl ookat
i
t.Shet ol
dherPAt otakemet otheHRdepar t
ment
t
osi
gnmycont
ract
.

IknowIam probablyungr
ateful
butDonnaand
Nqobil
epromisedmemyownconst ruction
companyandt heyhavebeenpay i
ngmeR50000a
monthforthepast2mont hsandt hat’
sal otf
rom
whatIearnedatDCC.Iwillf
oreverregretchoosing
moneyoverloyalt
y.I
thascostmemyf reedom and
mylif
e.

Threemenmaket hei
rwayi nmycell.Theydon’task
questi
ons.Twooft hem j
ustgrabmeandpi nmeon
thewall
.Theotheronewhoseemsol dertakesouta
knif
e.Helooksatitli
keit
’sawor kofar tandfastl
ike
l
ightni
nghestabsmeonmyst omach.Hedoest hi
s
repeat
edlyunt
ilhefeelsl
ikeit
’senough.

Oldman:“thenameisBraChil
i
.Yout ookmyson
awayfrom meandnowy ouaregoingtofoll
owhim.”
hestabsmeagainbutthi
stimeit’
sinthechest.I
j
ustfeelmybodygiv
inginandItakemyl astbr
eath.
CHAPTER79

‘
FORMERPRINCESSOFTHEZULUKI NGDOM WHO
WASINCUSTODYFORTHEMURDEROF
ZAMOKUHLESIMELANEANDATTEMPTED
MURDEROFNTOMBI FUTHICELEWASFOUND
DEADINHERCELLINTHEEARLYHOURSOFTHE
MORNING.THEGUARDSTHATFOUNDHER
SUSPECTTHATSHEBANGEDHERSELFI NTHE
WALLUNTILSHETOOKHERLASTBREATH. ’

‘
BUSINESSWOMANNQOBI LEMTHIYANEWAS
FOUNDLYINGINHEROWNPOOLOFBLOODI NHER
CELLINTHEMORNING.I
NVESTIGATIONSABOUT
HERDEATHARESTILLPENDING.THEPOLICE
DON’TKNOW WHATSEEMEDTOBETHECAUSEOF
I
T.’
‘
FORMEREMPLOYEEOFDUBANDLELA
CONSTRUCTI
ONCOMPANY,LANDI
LENSELEWAS
FOUNDDEADINHISCELLWITHMULTIPLESTAB
WOUNDS.ITI
SSUSPECTEDTHATI
TWASONEOF
THEINMATESWHOATTACKEDHIM AFTERAN
ARGUMENT.’

Me: “
wowt heseheadl
inesar
escary
.Imeanhowcan
Sthabi
lebanghersel
finthewal
l
?ButIam gladthey
aredead.Probabl
ythepeopl
ewhokill
edt
hem ar e
comingforSthandi
weandDonna.”Hechuckles.
Kuhl
e:“
howisyourarm andleg?
”Il
ookathi
m wi
th
myheadcockedtotheside.

Me:“Ar
en’
tyougoi
ngt
ocr
yov
ery
ourdeadex?
”he
l
aughs.
Kuhle:“
shewantedy oudead.Myi nnersel
freall
y
wishedtokil
lherbutIcouldn’
tbecauseIdidn’t
wannal i
vewit
hguiltofkil
li
ngthemot herofmy
chil
drenbutwhoeverdid,didusallahugefavour.
Thewor l
disabetterplacewithoutaconnivi
ng
snakel
i
keher
.”

Me:
“YAY!You’
reov
erher
.”
Kuhl
e:“
fucky
ou.
”
Me: “
butthat
’syourdepartment.Il
oveitmorewhen
youpinmeagai nstthewallandshov ey
ourdick
deepinsi
demeunt i
lIfeel
li
kemyi ntest
inesare
tur
ning.
”Hegr oans.

Kuhl
e:“
whatam Igoi
ngt
odowi
thy
ou?
”Igi
ggl
e.
Me:
“fuckme.
”
Kuhl
e:“
aft
erwegetr
idoft
hecast
.”
Me:
“butIam mi
ssi
ngy oubei
ngi
nsi
deofme.Hav
e
mer
cybaby.
”Helaughs.

Kuhl
e:“
Iam nott
aki
nganychances.
”
Me:“
youar
esuchabor
e.”Isayandstandup.Iput
onmygownandgotot
hebalcony.Therei
s
somet hingaboutthemor ningbreezethatj
ust
makesev er
ythingokay,especi
all
ywheni ti
smixed
withtheseabr eeze.Heal socomest othebal
cony
andhol dsmef rom behind.“Wherearewegoingto
stayaftergetti
ngmar r
ied? ”

Kuhle:“
myhouse.Unl
essy
ouar
enotcomf
ort
abl
e
ther
e.”Ismi
l
e.
Me:“themainbedroom will
needsomerenov
ations
keorredecorat
ingbecauseIdon’
twantanyt
raceof
thedeadwitch.
”Hegiggles.
Kuhl
e:“
Ilov
eyousomuch.
”Ismi
l
e.
Me:
“notasmuchasIl
ovey
ou.
”

Kuhl
e:“sowearepost
poningumkhehl
o?”Isi
gh.I
hadtot
all
yfor
gott
enaboutit
.
Me:“i
fmylegisgoodbynextweekt
henwear
e
cont
inui
ngwit
hit.
”
Kuhl
e:“l
ovenextweeki
sthe28t
handt
hatwast
he
dat
e.”Icur
seundermybreat
h.
Me:“okay
.6Marchthenbaby
.Oneweek
post
ponementcan’
tdomuchharm.
”
Kuhle:“Iwil
ltalktodadandhearwhathehast osay
butithast obeont he6t hwecan’tpostponeit
furt
herbecausei tmightinter
fer
ewi ththewedding.
Howar ef ararethetwinswi t
htheplanning?”Il
augh.
Hecal l
sLondekaMnguni andDakotaMul l
erof
ElegancyPlannersbecauset heyarethesameage,
samehei ghtandbasi call
ythesameper sonbecause
theyevenf i
nisheachot her’
ssentences.

Me: “everyt
hingi sinorder.Theyhav eev eryt
hing
undercont rol.Thosekidsar eprofessionalbabeand
theyar edefinit
ionofperfecti
on.Ijustneedt oget
dressesf orthecer emonies.Iam st i
l
lnotf eeli
ngthe
tradi
tionalwhi t
edress.Iwast hinkinggol dorblush
butIhav en’tdecided.”

Kuhl
e:“
whateveryouwantmyl
ove.It
’syourweddi
ng
soyouareper
mi t
tedt
odowhateveryouli
ke.
”
Me:
“yay
!”Ir
aisemyhandsi
ntheai
r.Hegi
ggl
es.
Kuhl
e:“
let
’sgoshowersot
hatIcanf
eedy
ou.
”I
smil
eandturnt
olookathi
m.

Me:
“youar
esohandsome.
”
Kuhl
e:“
Iknow,
right
?”hewi
ggl
eshi
sey
ebr
owsandI
j
ustl
augh.
.
.

Aftereati
ngandshower i
ngIgetdr essedina
halter
neckfl
oraldressandblacksliders.Mami i
sin
townsoImustmeetupwi t
hherandt alkaboutmy
dresses.Maybeshewi l
lhelpmedeci dewhi chcolor
Ishouldchoosef ormydress.Iopenmysi dedrawer
totakeoutmywat chandIsmilewhenIseeagi f
t
box.It’
sadomi neeri
ngli
onkingpendant925st erl
ing
sil
verwhichIboughtforKuhle.

Kuhl
e:“
aret
hoseourweddingrings?
”hesays
but
toni
nghi
soli
vegreenshir
t.Heisalsowear
ing
cot
tonshor
tsandt
akki
es.Ichuckl
eandhandi
tto
hi
m.
Me: “
it
’syours.Openi
t.
”Hesmi
l
esandopensit
.His
eyespopoutwhenheseeswhat’
sinsi
de.Het
urnsi
t
totheotherside.

Kuhle:
“yoursforever
,Fuhl
e.”Helooksatme.“Thi
sis
beauti
fulbaby.Thankyousomuch. ”Hecupsmy
faceandgivesmeabr eat
htaki
ngkiss.Ibl
ushwhen
hebreaksit.
Me:
“you’
rewel
come.
”Heput
siton.
Kuhl
e:“
fi
tsl
i
keagl
ove.
”
Me:
“sui
tabl
eforaki
ng.
”

Kuhl
e:“
it
’sper
fect
.Thanky
ouagai
nbaby
.Idon’
t
knowhowtothankyou.
”
Me:
“justkeeponl
ovi
ngMe.
”hesmi
l
es.
Kuhl
e:“
youcanbetont
hat
.”
.
WemeetMami atarestaurantnearDCC.Kuhl
ewent
onaboutiquewi t
hhisgr oomsmeni nsear
chofthei
r
sui
ts.WefirstsitandorderbecauseIhav eavery
hugeappeti
t etheseday s.Let’
sjustsayIl
ovef
ood
ver
ymuchbutIam per mi t
tedto.

Mami
:“sowhatki
ndofadr
essar
eyoul
ooki
ngf
or?
”
Me:“forumembesoIwantanudeandblackbel
ow
thekneefl
aredresswit
hamatchi
ngscarfj
ustf
or
contr
olbecausetheyar
eyett
ogiv
emeadoek. ”I
showherthepictur
e.

Mami:“
thi
sisdoabl
e.Al
soitwil
lbeper
fecti
fyou
don’
twannashowyourbump.”
Me:
“umembesoi
sint
woweeks.
”
Mami
:“don’
twor
ry.Iwi
l
lbedonebyt
hen.
”

Me:“formytr
adit
ional
weddingdr ess,Ineeda
yel
l
owSwat ii
nspir
edoffshoulderballgownwitha
matchingi
nhl
oko.Sametopf abri
cf orthe
bri
desmaidsandt
hef l
owergi
rl
sbutthebot tom
fabr
icf
orthem mustbesil
korthest
retchingone.
Youwill
seenawe.”Ishowherthepi
ctures.She
l
aughs.

Mami:“
okay
.Thi
sisbeaut
iful
.Iwi
l
lneed
measur
ementsf
orever
yone.”
Me:“myof
fi
ceisnearby
.Wecangotake
measur
ementsther
e.Pl
usabr
idesmai
dist
her
e.”

Weset tl
ethebil
landthenwal ktoDCC.It ellLi
ndsay
tosendZaht omyof fi
ceandt henweheadt here.
Shet akesmymeasur ementsandt henwewai tfor
Zah.It extLeeandNomat or ushtomyof fi
cesot hat
thei
rmeasur ementscanalsobet aken.Ialsocall
Xoli
.Thandoi sXol
i’
ssizesoshewi l
lmeasur efor
thebot hofthem.Shewon’ tbeemkhehl weni butshe
will
beher efort
hewedding.

Lee:
“youknowt
her
eissomet
hingcal
l
edpr
iornot
ice.
Youar
eluckyIdi
dn’
thav
eanappoint
ment
.”She
say
smakingherwayinf
oll
owedbyNoma.
Noma: “
Ijustcameoutofcourt
.Ialsohav
ean
appear
ancei nanhour.Canwepleasemaket
his
qui
ck?”Iroll
myey es.

Me:“wewer
ejustwai
ti
ngf
ory
ou.
”Mami
takest
hei
r
measur
ements.
Noma:“asthemaidofhonorswedemandmer maid
dr
essesthatwi
ll
showof fourbehi
ndbecausehoney
wehavebeendoingsquatstoenhancet
hem.”we
l
augh.

Me:
“ony
ourweddi
ngdear
,notonmi
ne.
”
Lee:“babesbei
ngabr
idezi
l
ladoesn’
tsui
tyou.Don’
t
star
tnow. ”
Me:“andbei
nganor mal
guestonmyweddi
ng
doesn’
tsui
tyou.Don’
tmakemechangemymind.
”
Noma:
“youar
esowr
ong.
”
Me:“
youcanhavematchi
ngmer
mai
ddr
essesf
or
umembesobutnott
heweddi
ng.
”
Noma:“great
.Wehavetheseper
fectpi
ctur
es.”She
opensherphoneandshowsMami somepictures.
Mami :
“pl
easedosendt
hem t
omei
fumakot
i
doesn’
tmind.
”

Zah:“
youhear
dherdear
.Shedoesn’
tmi
nd.
”Il
augh
andshakemyhead.
Me: “l
etmet ransf
eryourmoneyr i
ghtnowsot hat
everyt
hingcanbei norder
.”It
ransferthemoney.She
sayshergoodby esandthenleaves.“SoBoMi ss
pri
ornot i
ce,Dakotahassetupanappoi nt
mentf or
Fri
daysot hatwecangoandcheckoutbr idesmaid
dresses.Don’tbelat
e.Shewillsendyouthelocati
on
andt i
mel at
ertoday.
”

Noma:
“thanky
ou.
”
Lee:
“sonobodyisgoingtotal
kaboutt
het
hree
deat
hsthathappenedlastni
ght
.”
Me:“what’
sther
etot
alkabout
?Theyar
edead.Li
fe
goeson.”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER80

Todaywear ef etchingumkhont ofrom thepalace.

I
t’sSundaymor ning.Iam gladthatt hedoctorgave
meagr eenl
ightonmyl egandar m andsheal so
tookthecastsof f.Myi njur
ieshav esomehow
recoveredev
ent houghIhav escratcheshereand
there.

Imetupwi t
hZamoh’ smom andMpumi aweekago.
Imadeanagr eementwi t
hthem.SinceZamohwas
earni
ngR15000, Iplannedtogivethem R7500each
foratleast10y ears.KaMakhobawashappyabout
thearrangementandal soMpumi .ButwithMpumi
weagr eedthatIwi llgi
veherR2000f ornowand
thenaddR3000af terthebabyisbor n.Iwi
llbe
putti
ngR2500i nat r
ustfundforthebaby ’
s
education.
Somepeopl esai
dIwast heonewhobewi tched
Sthabi
leint
okil
li
ngher sel
fbecauseshewasn’ tthe
personwhocouldj ustharm hersel
f.Ilaughedt he
accusati
onsoffbecauset heywer ejustcrazy.
Sthandi
weandDonnahav egonecr azythinkingthat
someonei sgoi
ngt ocomeaf t
erthem sincet heyare
theoneswhoar eleft.I
t’
samusi ngreallybutlife
mustgoon.

Ivomitforthesecondt i
methismor ni
ng.Ir
eal
lyhat
e
morningsicknesses.Theystar
tedaweekago.I
wantedtogot oadoct orwhowi l
lhelpmewith
somethingtocool t
hem downbutInev erhadthe
ti
me.Any waysIwashmymout handheadbackto
myroom.Iputonmyl i
psti
ckandheadt othel
ounge.

Myf ri
endsandthemaidensareallweari
ngbeaded
skir
ts,spor
tsbraswit
hubuhlal
oandbeadedt ommy
takki
es.Iam weari
ngablackbeadedskirt
,whit
e
vestwithubuhl
aloandizi
mbadada.Ialsohavea
whiteshawlcoveri
ngmyshoulders.Myfri
endsare
wear
ingbl
ueski
rt
swhi
l
ethemai
densar
ewear
ing
r
edskir
ts.

Mom: “gowellandcomebackwi t
hthemeat .”Weall
l
augh.Ihugmypar ent
sandt henweheadout side.
Theladiesar
ealreadysinging.Thi
stimear oundwe
aregoingwit
honekombi forthemaidens.My
fr
iendsareri
dinginmyFor turnerwhi
leIam r i
ding
myX1.Ofcour seThobekaandMabut hoar ewithme.
Mabuthoi st
heonedr i
ving.Wecl i
mbi nsi
det hecars
anddriveoff
.
.
.
Aftert
hreehoursofdr i
vingwearri
veatt hepalace.
Wecl i
mbof fthecarsandheadinsidethey ardwhil
e
singi
ng.Wear eledintothi
shugerondav elwhichis
beauti
fulontheinsi
deandont heout si
de.Ther ear
e
grassmat sonthefloor.Themaidensmake
themselvescomf or
tableonthemat s.Wellmy
doctormighthavegivenmet hegreenlightbutI
don’tt
hinkIshouldsitonthefl
oorjustli
ket hat
.
Afteraf ewmoment sNompi loget si
nwithAmahl e.
Shei scarry
ingaf l
uff
yrug.Shepl acesi
tnicelyon
thefloorandindi cat
est hatIsitdown.Igiggleand
thensit.Myf r
iendsal sosit.Amahl ecomesand
hugsme.Shet henmakesher selfcomfortabl
eon
myl ap.

Amahl
e:“
howar
eyoumama?
”If
rown.
Me:
“mama?
”
Amahl
e:“y
ouaredaddy’
swi
fe,
whichmakesy oumy
mot
her.
”Ideci
detoasknof
urt
herquest
ions.

Me:
“Iam f
inebaby
.Howar
eyou?
”
Amahl
e:“
fi
ne.Ij
ustmissedyou.
”Ihaven’
tseent
hem
i
ntwoweeksbecausetheywerei
nSthabi
le’
shome.
Me:
“Imi
ssedy
out
oobaby
.”

Amahl
e:“
sodaddy,
Zwel
iandIar
egoi
ngwi
thy
ou
wheny
ouheadbackhome?”
Me:“nobaby.Butdon’
tworr
y.Youwi l
lseemeon
Sat
urdayandthenwewi l
lgoswim atmyhouse.
”
Amahl
e:“
yay
!”sheki
ssesmycheekandIgi
ggl
e.
Nompi
l
o:“
Mahl
elet
’sgo.
”

Amahl
e:“l
ateraunty.St
il
lbondi
ngwithmama. ”
Nompil
olaughsandheadsout .Themaidensstar
t
si
ngi
nganddanci ngli
kether
eisnotomor r
ow.
Amahl
ealsojoinsthem butwhensheisti
red,
she
comesbacktomyl ap.

Theelder
stogetherwit hKuhleandhisbrother
s
comeanddowhatneedst obedone.Het henhands
meumkhont o.Itakeit.Hewi nksatmeandIj ust
bl
ush.Heandhi sfatherhav ethi
swinkthatmake
womengoweak.Whent heyaredone,t
heyheadout
wit
hAmahl ethi
st i
mear oundbecausethegirli
s
daddy’
sangel.Moment slatermai
dscomeandser v
e
usfood.
Wellt
hereisthisZulutraditionthatsaysaty ourin-
l
awshome, youshouldn’teatf oodthatwasgi v
ento
youdir
ectlybecauseany thingcanhappen.Al soyou
mustn’tt
rustanyonewheni tcomest ot hefood.So
whenthemai dsservememypl at
e,Ijustwaitfor
t
hem toleaveandt henIt radeitwithoneoft he
maidens.

Whenwear edoneeat i
ng,theyser veusthedr inks.
Thel adi
esgocr azywhentheyseet healcohol and
theystartsinginganddancingl oudly.Iam already
feeli
ngdr owsy .Ij
ustwannat akeashor tmi ddaynap.
Any wayst heycomeandputi ziphandlainourwr ists
from thegoat stheysl
aught eredf ortheceremony .I
thinkthat’
st heendofev er
yt hing.

Indeedt heceremonyhascomet oanend,sothe

l
adiest akethedrinksandt hemeattheyaregiven
andt heystartsi
nging.Itakeumkhontoandheadout
ofthehutwi ththem foll
owi ngme.Weheadoutof
thepalacey ardandclimbi nsidet
hecars.Kuhl
e
comestothecarandpul
l
smet
ost
andup.Het
hen
hugsme.Iyawn.

Kuhl
e:“
Iam sor
rybabybuty
ouar
egoi
ngt
oget
someresti
nthecarnow.
”
Me:“y
ah.Atl
east
.Somom tol
dmet oaskhowmany
peopl
ewil
lbecomingonSat
urday
.”Helaughs.
Kuhl
e:“t
hewholeZulunat
ion.Roughl
y300+al
somy
busi
nessassoci
atesandf
riends.
”

Me:“
wow.Howmanypeopl
eareactual
lygoi
ngto
cometot
hetr
adi
ti
onal
weddi
ng?”helaughsagai
n.
Kuhl
e:“al
ot.Downsi
deofbei
ngaprince.Ev
eryone
wanttowit
nesstheweddi
ng.Notj
ustonsocial
mediabutl
ive.
”
Me:“will
thenumberbecont
rol
l
edont
hewhi
te
wedding?”hechuckl
es.

Kuhl
e:“
yes.I
twi
l
lonl
ybef
ami
l
y,f
ri
endsandsome
busi
nessassoci
ates.
”Ibr
eat
heoutl
oud.
Me:“that’
sbett
er.Idon’
tthi
nkIam goi
ngtosur
viv
e
notseeingyouforaweek.”Ist
artget
ti
ngemoti
onal.
Hekissesme.

Kuhle:
“holdonbaby
.Justaf ewweeksandaft
er
thatwewillbet
oget
herforever
.”Wehugti
ghtand
thenhekissesmeagai
n.“Iloveyou.
”
Me:“
Ilov
eyou.
”Icl
i
mbi
nsi
det
hecarandwedr
ive
of
f.
.
.
Theweekhasbeendr aggi
ngandIhav ebeenan
emot i
onalwreckbecauseImi ssKuhlesomuch.My
fr
iendssomet i
meslaughatme.TheysayIam
dramaticbuttheywil
lunderstandoneday.It
’sFri
day
ni
ghtandpeopl earegoingupanddownl i
keit’
sthe
weddingday.Mom near l
yfaintedwhenItoldherthe
numberofpeopl ecomingtomor row.
Ij
usttol
dDakot aandLondekatohi
reacateri
ng
companybecauset herewasnowayIcouldslave
myrelat
ivesli
kethat.Thr
eecowswereslaughter
ed
j
ustforumkhehlo.Yohbahlal
i
.Whentheytellyouto
marr
yapr ince,
run,i
t’satr
ap.

Any waystheladi
esar esingingloudlyanddancing
l
ikenobody ’
sbusiness.Myf ri
endsarealreadydrunk.
Infacteveryfemaleinmyr oom isdrunk.The
furni
tur
ewascl earedoutandwear eseatingon
grassmat sandsponges.Wehav eibomv uinour
faceswhichwear esupposedt ogowashi nthe
mor ni
ngatt heri
verbutwewi llgotothebeach
becauseit’
smucheasi erthere.Myphoner i
ngsandI
smi l
ewhenIseewhoi scal li
ng.

Me:
“St
hul
iskandaba.
”
Kuhle:“KaMagay
e.”Ibl
ush.“
Howar
eyout
his
evening?”
Me:
“Iam f
ine.Ij
ustcan’
twai
ttoseey
ou.
”
Kuhle:“metoomylove.Iam l
it
eral
l
ycounti
ngthe
hours.Amahleal
socan’twai
t.Shehasbeen
pesteri
ngme.Iam j
ustgladshehasfi
nall
ydozed
off
.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“isev
ery
thi
ngsetont
hatsi
de?
”

Kuhl
e:“y
es.Wear
ejustgoi
ngt
owakeupand
pr
eparetocomet
here.
”
Me:
“howmuchar
eyougoi
ngt
ogi
ftmet
omor
row?
”
Kuhl
e:“
howaboutami
l
li
on?
”Il
augh.

Me: “t
hat’
stoomuchbabyandhowarey ougoi
ngto
pinami l
li
ononablanketoranumbr
ell
a?”thel
adi
es
scream whentheyheart
hewordmil
li
on.
Kuhl
e:“
justki
ddi
ng.Iwon’
tment
ioni
t.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
that
’sbet
ter
.Sl
eept
ightandbest
il
landknow
t
hatIl
oveyou.
”

Kuhl
e:“
yazf
oramomentt
her
eIt
houghty
ouwer
e
goingtobreakintoagospel songandbeli
ke‘bestil
l
andknowt hatIam y ourGod’.
”Ibur
stoutl
aughing.
Kuhlehasasoot hingvoicebutwhenitcomesto
singi
ng,JehovahIwoul dpayhim al
lmymi l
l
ionsjust
toshuthim upbecausehei sterr
ibl
e.

Me:
“babypl
easel
eav
ethesi
ngi
ngt
ous,
thegi
ft
ed.
”
Kuhle:“
mxm.Any waysIl
oveyoumybabymama
andIcan’twai
ttoseeyoutomorr
ow.Sl
eepwel
land
takecareofourbabi
es.
”
Me:“Il
oveyoumoreandal
sot
akecar
eofour
babi
es.
”Ihangup.
Zah:
“youngl
ove.
”shesay
swhi
l
ebl
ushi
ngandweal
l
l
aughather.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER81
SPONSOREDCHAPTER

Iam wokenupbymom shaki ngme.If rownandsit

up.WellIam oneofthef ewpeoplewhosl ept.The
othersdr
ank,sanganddancedal lnightlong.They
alll
ookreadytogobutt heyaredrunk.Any wayswe
takeourstuf
fandweheadout .Theyarest il
lsi
ngi
ng.
Somehav ehoarsevoicesrightnow.

Wecl i
mbi nt
ot hecarsanddr i
vetothebeach.We
getthereandbat h.Wowt hewaterisverycol
d.
Neverthel
esswebat hqui
cklyandthenweheadback
tothecars.Wedr i
vehome.Cany oubeli
evethese
bit
ches?Theyact uall
yaskedforthedriv
et odri
ve
passKFCsot hattheycouldgetthr
eebucketsofhot
wings.WellIendedupr equesti
ngawr apstabox
becauseIam al
sohungr
y.Ieati
tinst
ant
ly.

Wegethomeandwegosi tunderthetreeandwai t
forGodot .Justkiddi
ng.Wear egoingtowai there
unt i
li
t’
stimef orustogetdressedandf orthe
ceremonyt ost ar
t.Ial
sohadpeopl einstal
latent
her esothatwecangetsomepr i
vacy.Mybr others
bringusmat sandblanket
s.Wespr eadt hem ont he
grassandt hensitdown.Iam stil
ldrowsysoIj ust
sleep.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Theguest sstartarr
iving.Fut hyandherent ourage
startgett
ingdressed.Theyputonmake- upanddo
thefinalt
ouchupsont heirlooks.Whent heyar e
done, t
heysingast heymaket hei
rwayi nsidethe
yard.Theygot other oom wher etheyhadbeen
stayingatforthewhol eweek.Fut hy’sdadplaces
Umhl wehlweonhershoul dersandt hengiveher
umkhont o.Heput siny ongoonherwr i
st.
Si
yabulel
a:“i
fitmakesyounauseous,justaskf
or
water.
”Futhyl
aughsandnods.Shest andsupand
st
artsasong.‘AZODLALAAMAKHOSIENGOMA
AZODLALA’ Herent
ouragesi
ngsaf t
erher
‘
AMAKHOSIENGOMA, AMAKHOSIENGOMA
AZODLALAAMAKHOSIENGOMA, AYYAMAKHOSI
ENGOMA. ’

Theymaket heirwayout sideandt othepl aygrounds

whil
esi nging.Theygett ot hespotwher ethewhole
thi
ngwi llbetakingplace.Theyst artsingingand
dancing.Theguest sstartcrowdingt hepl ace.
Peopl ecamei nnumber stowi tnesst hisceremony.
Theygobay ohlomaandt heguest scomebackand
pinthemoneyonanumbr ellabecauset heyarenot
permi t
tedtopi nitonFut hy’shat.It’
sr eservedfor
thefiancé.Someal sopinthemoneyonabakhaphi
andsomeoft hemai dens.

Whil
esi
nginganddanci
ng,t
heyhearsounds,
people
si
ngi
ng,
ululat
ingandwhi
stl
i
ng.I
t’
stheZuluroyal
s.
Theysingunti
lthereachaclearspotandtheysit
downont hegrass.Theyarewearingtr
adit
ional
att
ir
esandtheyar elooki
nggood.Futhyseesthem
andherheartbecomescont ent
.Shesmi l
esand
conti
nuessingi
nganddanci ng.

Whentheyaredonewit
htheguests,
Nomalooksi
t
Fut
hyandindicat
est
hatit
’st
ime.Shebr
eat
hesout
l
oudandstart
ssingi
ng.

*
**FUTHY*
**
Energydri
nksar eharmfultopr egnantwoman
becausey ousomehowgetaddi ctedtocaf f
einebutI
onlydrankittodaybecauseIneededt heener gy.I
knowKuhl ewoul dkil
lmei fhef oundoutt hatIdrank
i
t.Anyway s,t
hankst oMonst erEner gy
,Iam st i
l
l
acti
veesigcawini.Theceremonyi ssti
llgoingwell.
Therearesomanyguest s.

Icl
earmyt
hroatandst
artsi
ngi
ng.Wepl
annedt
hat
befor
egoi ngtotheinlaws, wewi llstar
tonesong
wheresizosinasisabal
aleisigcawuj usttobr
ing
backthev i
be,thenwewi ll
st artanothersongand
thengotot hem.SoIst ar
tt hesong‘ BASHONALE
NALENAESAMII SI
GCAWU, WENDUNA
SEBEKHOHLI WEUKUTHII SI GCAWUESAMI .
’

Themomentsi qal
anj eukusina, t
heZulur oyals
l
iter
all
ygocr azyandsomeev encomet ous
bazogiy
awhi chmakesomeoft heguest sgocr azy
.
Thissongi sti
ri
ngandi tisputti
ngpr essur einmyleg
butIam justgladthi
sdayi sfinallyover.Iquickl
ygo
backtot heli
neandt el
lmom aboutmyl eg.She
massagesi twhil
epeopl earegl uedtothechaos
happening.Whent hesongi sf i
nished,weal lgoback
totheli
ne.

Ri
ghtnowIam supposedtostar
tihubolami andgo
gi
vemyfiancéumkhonto.SoIst
artsinging,
‘
NGIYAKUTHATHAMAGEBAWAMI ,
NGI THANDA
I
NDLELAONGI PHETHENGAYO, INHLONI PHO
I
YONGI LEKELELA.’
Myentouragehel
pmesing.I
danceunti
lIreachKuhl
eont heot
hersi
deof
i
sigcawu.Igettohi
m andthenkneel
infr
ontofhi
m.

Istabthespearinthegr oundinf r
ontofhim and
thenstandup.Isingandt henheadbackt otheline.
Hest andsupandt akesanumbr ell
afrom Sbo.He
walksalonewithpride.Li t
erall
ythewhol eground
bowst ohim asheist hepr ince.Ikneelonthegrass
matwhenhei safewf eetawayf rom me.Heget st o
whereIam andopenst heumbr ell
a.Istealaglance
atitandIonlyseeR200not esonly.

Hesquat sinf r
ontofmeandhandsmet heumbr el
l
a.
Ismileandt akeit
.Hest ealsakissbefor ehestands
up.Hewal ksbackt ohisspotandhi sfr
iendsmeet
him half
way .Igobacktot heroy al
swithmyf ri
ends
thi
st i
mear ound.West arttotheeldersandgi v
e
them umkhont o,t
heycomeandgi vemet hemoney
andgifts.Wemov etothesi st
ers,brot
hersandt he
auntstogetherwiththemot hers.
Mom i nstruct
smet ogobackt oKuhletogivehim
umkhont o.Idoasi nstruct
ed.Hecomesbackwi t
h
anotherumbr ellafi
l
ledwi t
hcash.Ij
ustlaughthis
ti
mear ound.Thecer emonycomest oanend, weare
i
nstructedt otakeumkhont ototheroyal
s.Wehand
them umkhont oandgobackhomewhi l
esingi
ng
anddanci ng.Inthatmomentmyl egisshowingme
fl
ames.

Wegeti nsi
detheyardandIaskmom t oundressme
quickl
y.ShedoessoandIgot omybat hr
oom and
j
ustsoakmybodyi nwarm water
.Thepaininmyleg
seemst osubsi
de.Thebathtubisfi
l
ledwit
hf oam.
Thebat hr
oom dooropensanddadmakeshi swayin.

Me:
“daddyIam naked.
”hel
aughs.
Dad:
“comeon.You’
renotal
lthat
.”
Me:“
eww.
”Hel
aughsagai
n.Hepl
acespi
l
lsont
he
si
nk.
Dad:“Iboughtyouthesef
ort
hepainbecauseIhave
afeel
ingy ourl
egisshowi
ngyoufl
ames.Andrelax
theywon’tbeharmfultot
hebaby
.”
Me:
“thanky
oudad.Nowl
eav
e.”
Dad:
“what
everdude.
”Il
aughandheheadsout
.

Igetoutoft hebat htubanddr ai

nt hewater.Iwr apa
towelaroundmybodyandgot othesink.Itaket he
pil
lsanddrinkt hem instantl
y.Igot omyclosetand
wearmymat chingbr aandthong.Igetacr azyidea
anddecidet odoi t.Itakemyphonef r
om mysaf e
andtakeaf ewmi rrorself
iesinmyunder wear .Ithen
sendthem toKuhl e.Iswitchoffmyphoneandputi t
backinthesaf e.Youcannev erbet oosafebahl ali
.

Igot othebedroom andfi

ndmyf ri
endsalready
prepari
ngthemselves.Theyhavestar
tedgetting
dressedandsomear edoi
ngtheirmake-up.The
maidensarei nThando’
sroom butGcinomadesur e
tolockupev ery
thi
ngofhers.Iwearmybr owndr ess
whichwasdesi gnedbyMami andmat chitwith
sl
i
der
s.

Igodownst air
stothekitchen.Umembesohas
alr
eadyst artedonthefronty ar
d.Therearesomany
people.Somear eevenout si
det heyar
d.Iopenthe
fri
dge,takeoutaseal edy oghurtandgobacktomy
room.Isitonmycouchandeati t.Col
dand
deli
cious,it
’sjustperf
ect.ZahandXol iheadoutsi
de
andIam l eftwithNomaandLee.Icl earmythroat
.

Me:“guysIneedt
otel
lyousomet
hing.
”Theyhav
e
soberedupnow.
Noma:
“spi
l
l.
”
Me:
“Iam pr
egnantwit
htwi
ns.”Theybot
hscr
eam.
“
Hey!Keepi
tdown.”Theyl
augh.

Lee:“
Iam sohappyfory
ou.”NomalooksupandI
thi
nkshei
st r
yingt
opreventhert
ear
sfrom f
all
i
ng.
Noma: “Iam j
ustrel
iev
edbaby.Rememberthenear
cancersaga?Ithoughtyouwouldhav
eproblems
concei
vi
ng.
”
Me:“t
heZuluunder
groundgangdoesn’tpl
ay.
”They
l
augh.Wetakeafewpictur
esandvideosofusjust
doi
ngcrazyst
uff
.

Moment slaterwehearsingingfrom insi

dethe
house.Iguesstheyhav ecomet of et
chmenow.
Theygett omyr oom andtheyhugme.I t
’smysister
i
nlaws.Theyhandmeadr ess,withheelsanda
headwr ap.Theygoandwai toutsidewhileIchange.
Thisdressisreall
ybeauti
ful
.Itmat cheswit
hNoma
andLee’sdresses.

It
’sabeauti
fulemeraldgreensishweshwepeplum
strapl
esst
opwi t
hamat chingmermaidsilkski
rt
.
Theheadwr apmat cheswi t
hthetop.Theyalso
broughtashawlthatmat cheswiththeheadwrap.I
putitonmyshoulders.Theheel sar
eblackplatf
orm
blockheel
s.IknowIam goi ngtowearthem fora
fewmoment s.
Weheadoutandt hesisterinlawssi ngunt i
lwe
reachthefrontyard.Iam i nstr
uctedtosi tdownon
thegrassmat .SoIdoso.Theygi vemeal otofgif
ts.
WhenIsayal ot,
Imeanal ot.From blanketsand
duvetstoexpensiveheel s,bagsandal l
.Whent hey
aredone, mycousi nst
aket hethingstomyr oom
whileIproceedtot hedecor atedframet ent.Igosi
t
atthefrontnexttomyf uturehubby .Hehol dsmy
handandl ooksatme.

Kuhl
e:“
youl
ookr
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ulandIl
ovey
ou.
”I
bl
ush.
Me: “youalsolookhandsomebaby .”Heiswear i
nga
saf
ar itwopiecesuitwhi
chi semeraldgreenin
col
our .Thereisumqheleinhisheadandt hel eopar
d
ski
nar oundhisshoulders.Heisalsocarryi
nga
walkingstick,
drama.Hei swearingblackred
bot
t oms.“Wher ear
emybabi es?
”hechuckl es.

Kuhl
e:“
wit
hthei
rgrandf
ather.I
t’
sonlyamatt
erof
ti
mebefor
etheyseeyou.Theyaregoingt
ocrowd
youinthatseat.
”Ilaugh.Thewai
tersgeti
nandst ar
t
serv
ingfood.Aftereati
ngabout4spoons,Isee
Amahl er
unningtomewi t
hZwelif
oll
owingher.“
Told
youso.”Irol
lmyey esathim.Ist
andupandmeet
them hal
fway.Ibenddownandhugt hem.

Me: “y
ouguy slookbeaut
iful
.”Amahlei
swearinga
greentutuski
rtwithwhit
ev estandwhi
teshoes
whileherbrot
herisweari
nggr eenpant
s,whi
teshi
rt
andblackshoes.
Amahl
e:“
thanky
oumama.
”

Zwel
i:
“heyma.Howar
eyou?
”Amahl
erol
l
sherey
es
andIl
augh.
Me: “
comeandsitwit
hus.”Ileadthem t
oourt
able.
Lucki
lyKuhl
eandIareseatedinacouchsothese
twositbet
weenus.Theyareservedfoodandt
hey
star
teati
ng.

Af
terwear
edoneeat
ing,
wegot
akepi
ctur
esand
greetourguest
s.Ial
sogoandf or
mallygreetmyi
n-
l
aws.Iseeaf ewofmycl i
entsandbusiness
associat
esandgogr eetthem.Peopleareserv
ed
food,dri
nksandmeat .Theyseem happyand
sati
sfi
ed.Iam j
ustti
redbutIguessIcanhol donfor
anhourorso.

Iam j
usthappyt
hatev
eryt
hingwentwell
.Iam al
so
happythati
nafewweeksIwill
begetti
ngtothe
manofmydr eamsandmysoul mate.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER82
SPONSOREDCHAPTER

Iam meet i
ngupwi thmybi ggestglobalcl
ienttoday,
Maur eenSchil
laci
,theheir
essoftheSchi l
laciGroup.
Herf amil
yhast hemostexpensivepr i
vatehospital
s
globall
y.Iam superexci
ted.Idon’tevenknowhow
l
ongourcont ractwill
runandhowmuchi tiswor t
h.I
can’twaittof
indout .

Igetdr essedinasleev el
essblackbody conbelow
thekneedr esswit
hr edbottom pointedtoepumps
thi
nhi ghheel sandanudeel egantponchowr ap
scarvecape.It akemybl ackDolce&Gabbana
medi um calfski
nSicil
y62bagwhi chwaspar tofthe
gift
sIgotf rom myi nlaws.Ipackev eryt
hingand
thenheadt othekit
chen.Ifi
ndKal r
eadycooking
br
eakf
ast
.

K:“damnboss, youareki
ll
ingustoday.”Shesays
fanni
ngherface.Itwir
landshescr eams.Thobeka
andMabut horushtothekitchenwiththei
rgunsout.
Whent heyseeus,theyputthem backinthei
rwaist
s.

Thobeka:“
sjur
ay ouarenyisingus.Maki
nguseat
porr
idgewit
haf ork.
”Ichuckleandsitdown.K
handsmeabowl ofMor vi
te.It
’sal
sooneofmy
obsessi
onstheseday s.

Mabutho:“i
fmyhear twasn’
ttakenbysomelady,I
woulddefi
nit
elytakemychances.”Welaugh.Ist
art
eati
ngmypor ri
dge.Withi
nafewmoment sIam
done.Ipl
acethebowl i
nthesink,t
akemybagand
headout.
.
.
Wegett
oDCCandf
ir
stheadt
omyof
fi
ce.Ihav
ehad
afewsket chesforhugehospi talpr oj
ects,soIam
j
ustgoi ngt oshowt hem toMaur een.It akethe
sketchesf rom mycol l
ecti
onandpl acet hem onthe
desk.Igosi tonmychai randcheckonmyemai ls.
Therear esomanyi nter
nationalclientswhowantt o
meetupwi t
hmesot hatwecanf inali
zeour
contracts.Someev enwantmet ocomet othei
r
countri
es.

Ijustsendt hem emailsinf

ormingthem aboutmy
weddi ngandal sotell
them thatIwi
llbeabl etosee
them af t
erthesecondweekofApr i
l,sotheyshoul d
setupappoi nt
ment swit
hmyPAaf terthatsecond
week.ThedooropensandNomawal ksinl ookingal
l
gorgeousi napowderbl ueshirt,
nudef ormal pants,
nav yblazerandbrownboot s.Sheiscar r
yinganude
handbag.

Me:
“lawy
ermyl
awy
ermadoda.
”Shel
aughs.
Noma: “
goodmor
ningMi
ssCel
e,soont
obeMr
s.
Zul
u.”Ismil
e.
Me:
“Il
ovet
hesoundoft
hat
,Mr
s.Zul
u.”
Noma:
“soonmyf
ri
end,
soon.
”Webot
hlaugh.

Me: “
goandmakesomecoffeef
oryoursel
fint
he
ki
tchen.Maur
eenwil
lbeher
ein15minutes.Pl
ease
maket eaf
ormysel
f.
”

Noma: “okaybabes.”sheplacesherbagont hechai

r
andheadsout .Istandupandl ookoutsi
dethe
window.Godhasbeensogoodt ome.Iam whereI
am becauseofhi m.Ihavefaceddeathandcame
outali
ve.Iam reall
ygrat
efultohim.“Youar
eso
deepinthoughts,youdon’tevenhearmecal l
ing
you.”It
urnandl ookatherwithasmi l
e.

Me:“nott
hatdeep.Iam j
ustt
hinki
nghowgreatGod
hasbeentoMe.”shehandsmeacupoft ea.
Noma: “youhavebeensobl
essedfr
iend.Godand
yourancestor
sareworki
ngovert
imeony ourl
i
fe.
”I
t
akeasi p.
Me:“y
oucansayt
hatagai
n.”Thedooropensand
Xol
iwalksi
n.

Xol
i
:“Mi
ssSchi
l
laci
hasent
eredt
hebui
l
dingboss.
”
Me:“okay
.Wewi l
lbeintheboardr
oom t
hisinst
ant
.”
Shenodsandthenleaves.It
akemysketches,t
abl
et
andheadoutwithNomaf oll
owi
ngme.Wegett othe
boar
droom andset
tledown.

Fewmoment slat
er,Maureenent
erstheboardr
oom
withanumberofguar dsandtwowomenwhom I
suspectoneisthelawyerandanotheri
sthePA.I
standup.“Welcomet oSouthAfr
icaandwelcometo
DCCMi ssSchill
aci
.”Iext
endmyhandandshe
shakesitwit
hasmi le.

Maur een:“
Iam happyt
obef i
nal
lyher
e.Wit
hat i
ght
scheduleIhave,Idi
dn’
tthi
nkIwouldmakeither
e
personall
y.
”
Me:
“youmaysi
t.
”Weal
lgetset
tl
eddownandher
goonsr
emai
nst
andi
ng.
Maureen:“
wewil
lgetdownt
obusinesst
hen
becauseIhav
etobeinmypl
aneintwohour
s.”

Me:
“ri
ghtoni
t.
”
Maur een:“f
ir
stl
ywear ethi
nkingofr ebrandi
ng.My
fat
herhav esteppeddown.Iam goi ngt obe
announcedast hechairwomanandt hemaj or
shareholdersoon.Sorenovati
onswi llbeinorder
wit
hmyf aceonev er
yhospitalthatbelongstomy
family.
”Inod.

Me:
“whendoy
ouwantt
her
enov
ati
onst
ost
art
?”
Maur een:
“assoonaspossi
ble.Butsi
nceyouar
e
gett
ingmar r
iedi
nafewweeks, wecanstar
tinMay
.”
Inodagain.
Me:“Ihaveaf ewsketchesIwoul
dl i
ketoshowy ou.
Idon’
tknow, butIguessIam psy
chicbecauseI
coul
df eel
thatyoumi ghtwannarenovat
e.”She
l
aughs.
Maureen: “goahead. ”Ist andupandshowhert he
sket
cheswhi l
egi vingadet ai
leddescri
pti
onof
ever
ythi
ng.Shesmi l
es.“Ilovei t
.Thi
scouldwor k.
Andpeopl ewonderwhyIchoset owor kwithy ou.”
wechuckl e.Igobackt omysi t
.Shesignalsher
l
awyerwhopassesaf il
et ome.Ipassi ttoNoma
whoopensi ti
nst antly.“Thisisadetail
ed10y ear
cont
ract.Ifyouhav eanypr oblemswithit,youcan
emailmyl awy er.Ineedi tbynextweekMonday .So
gooverit.Don’ trushit .
”

Me:
“thanky
ou.
”shest
andsup.
Maureen:“Iguessthatconcl
udesourmeeti
ng.
”We
shakehandsagai n.“
Iwil
ltr
yandmakeittoyour
wedding,
ifIdon’tcomeIwi l
lsendmygi
ft.
”
Me:“Iwil
lreal
l
yappreci
atet
hat
.”sheheadsoutwi
th
herent
ourage.Isi
tdownnextt
oNoma.“ Sohow
manyfigur
es?”

Noma: “
tasehercontr
actalonemeansyouar
eset
f
orli
fe.Youdon’tevenhavetomeetwit
htheother
cl
i
ent
s.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“justt
ell
met
ase.
”
Noma:“r
atherIshowyou.”shehandsmeapaper
f
rom t
hefil
e.Ilookati
tandIstopbreat
hingwhen
myeyeslandont he9fi
gureamount.

Me:
“hol
yfuck.TaseIam r
ich.
”Shel
aughs.
Noma:
“youhav
ebeenf
orawhi
l
enow.
”
Me:“
nothi
scall
sforacel ebrati
on.OMG!Xolibooka
whol
erest
aur
antfordinner.Alsoinvi
teal
lofmy
f
ri
endsandKuhl
e’sfr
iends.Wear ecel
ebr
ati
ngmy
wi
n.”

Xol
i:
“yesboss.”Shesay
sinasqueakyv
oiceandwe
l
aughather.Sheheadsout
.
Me: “
taseIdon’tthi
nkIcanwor kri
ghtnow.Canwe
j
ustgot oaspaandr elax?Cal lLeei
nt hemeanti
me.
Youcanl ookatthatcont racttomorrow.”Ihandher
backthepaperandpr acti
callyjogtomyof fi
ceaft
er
taki
ngmysket chesandt ablet.Mabuthostandsup
whenheseesme.

Mabutho:“
every
thingokayboss?
”heaskswit
hhi
s
handalr
eadyinhiswaist
.Ist
opinfr
ontoft
hem.
Me:“
ev eryt
hingisfi
ne.I
nf acti
tisbey
ondfine,i
tis
gr
eat.Iwannast andupatt her
oofandshout‘ALLI
DOISWI N,WI N,WINNOMATTERWHAT’ because
wow.”Ileavethem st
andingandgetinsi
demyof fi
ce.

Ipackmostofmyst uffandheadout .It

ell
Mabut ho
todriv
emet othespa.Hei nspectsmebutdoesn’ t
sayany t
hing.Iguesshei ssomehowshockedbymy
mood.Nev er
theless,t
heydr iv
emet othespa.Few
moment sl at
er,LeeandNomaj oinme.Isweart hi
s
twoareal waysonst andby .Butthat’
showour
fr
iendshipisli
ke.Youcal lus,wedr opeverythi
ngand
comet oy ouraid.

Lee:
“sowhat
’supt
ase?
”
Me:
“Iam abi
l
li
onai
ret
ase,
that
’swhat
’sup.
”Isay
smi
l
ingwi
del
y.
Lee:
“It
akei
tthemeet
ingwentwel
l
?”
Me:
“bet
tert
hanexpect
ed.
”
Lee:“whatar
ewewai t
ingf
ort
hen?Let’
spaintt
he
townredandfor
getforafewhour
sthatyouare
pregnant
.”Weal
llaugh.

West artbyget
tingf
ullbodymassages,facial
s,
waxes, mani
curesandpedicures.Af
terwear edone,
Ipayandwedeadout .Il
aughwhenweal l
squeeze
ourselv
esintomycar.Mygi r
lsaremyr i
deordieso
that’
swhyIwoul dcel
ebrateeverywinwit
ht hem.

Noma:“t
otheai
rpor
tdr
iver
.”If
rownandt
urnt
olook
ather
.
Me:
“wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
”
Noma:
“shoppi
ngt
othemot
herci
ty.
”
Me:
“howar
ewegoi
ngt
ogett
her
e?”
Noma:“youcanbeslowsomet i
mes.Wear eusing
Kuhl
e’
sjet.It
alkedt
ot hepil
ot.Him andIhavean
ent
angl
ement ,
nothi
ngserious,justst
ressr
eli
eving
ki
ndofentangl
ement.”Shelicksherli
psandwe
l
augh.

Wegett otheai rportandweal lgotot hej

et.We
boardthepl aneandaf terafewmi nutes,i
ttakesoff
.
After2hour sandaf ewmi nut
eswel andinthe
mot herci
ty.Wef indcarr ent
alsal
readywaitingfor
us.Wecl i
mbi nsi
deandwedr ivetoCanalWal k.We
getthereandheadi nsi
de.

Noma:
“whatar
ewebuy
ingf
ir
st?
”
Me:“ourcl
othes,
thenshoesandthenwear egoi
ng
tobuyclot
hesforAmahleandZweli.Iwi
l
ltakeKuhl
e
shoppi
ngduringourhoneymoon.
”

Lee:“okayIhav
edownloadedashopgui
de.Isaw
theseamazingsneaker
sonthenetf
rom Bat
hu,can
wegetthem andwearthem ont
hetradi
ti
onal
weddi
ng?Wedon’ tneedtobewear
ingheelsever
y
t
ime.”
Me:“gr
eatidea.Tex
tZahandXoli
andaskt
hem t
hei
r
si
zes.Whichshoparewestar
ti
ngat?
”

Westartonclothi
ngshopswher eweshopal most
ever
ythi
ngfrom dresses,totops, pant
s,ski
rt
s,
j
umpsuits,j
acketsandlingerie.Almostever
ythi
ng.
Wethengoshopf orheels,sneakersandsandals.
Whenwear edone, wegot oAdi daskidswhereI
shopforAmahleandZwel i
.Igett emptedandend
upshoppingforBusi’
skids.

Siphoset
hu,Busi’
sdaughterandAv ethandwa,
Thobeka’sdaughterar
ebot hgoingtobef l
owergir
ls
soweal sobuyshoesf ort
hem.Ial sobuymat chi
ng
sneakersformylitt
lef
amily,Kuhleandthekids.
Whenwear edone,wehav elunchatCol’Cacchi
o.
Whenwear edone,wefl
ybackt
oDur
ban.Ont
he
pl
ane,
Itakemymi ddaynap.
.
.
Wef r
eshenupatmyhouseandgetr eadyt ogoto
dinner.Xolihastoldusthateveryoneisatt he
restaurantthatshebooked.Igetdr essedinagr een
straplessjumpsuitandgoldblockheel s.Icombmy
hairandt i
eittoaneatbunandt henat tachanafro
puffonmybun.Idoaqui cknatural makeupand
headout .Iam gladmybabi esarenotshowi ngoff
yetsomyt ummyi sstil
lnormal.

Noma:“damnyou’
reslay
ingsomuch.Iam sure
Kuhl
eisgoingt
ogetjeal
oustoni
ght
.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“that
’st
hei
ntent
ion.
”Theyl
augh.

Weheadoutsi
deandcli
mbi nt
othecars.Wedri
vet
o
t
herest
aur
antandgetinsi
de.Wefindevery
one
wai
ti
ngandlooki
nggoodli
ketheyaregoingtoa
galadinner.Theystandupwhent heyseeus
enter
ingandt heycheer.Dr
ama.Wej ustl
augh.Kuhl
e
comest ome, hugsmeandt hengivesmea
breat
htakingkiss.

Kuhl
e:“
youl
ookgoodbaby
.”Hegr
absmybut
tandI
gi
ggl
e.
Me:“
thanky
ou.
”hel
etsmegoandIhugev
ery
one
el
se.
Danny:“
sowhyar ewehere?Xol
iwasluckyIwasin
townorelseIwouldn’
thav
ecomei nsuchashor
t
noti
ce.
”Isitdownandtheyal
lsi
t.
Me:
“canweal
leatf
ir
st?Ev
eni
fit
’sst
art
ers?
”

Danny:“f
ine.
”Thewai t
ersbringstar
ter
st oourtable.
Theyjoi
nedaf ewt ables,sowehav ealongdi nner
tabl
einthemi ddle.Theybringvari
ousstarter
s,f r
om
sti
rfr
iedchil
ichicken,kebabs,sti
ckychickenwi ngs
andsmokedpor kjowl wi
thpickl
es.
Sbo:“
Ihat
ebeingkepti
nthedar
k.”It
akeonest
icky
wingandeati
t.
Me:
“chi
l
lSbo,
youdon’
trushbi
l
li
onai
res.
”
Lee:
“thefl
exhasst
arted.Br
aceyour
selv
es.”Noma
andXolil
aughwhi
letheother
slookconf
used.

Kuhl
e:“
lov
ie.
”
Me:
“babe.
”
Kuhl
e:“
endtheguessi
nggame.
”Il
aughandst
and
upwit
hawinginmyhand.

Me: “
youguysareimpati
ent.Iwantedust otoast
withchampagnebutbecauseofy ourimpat i
ent
asses,wewil
ltoastwi
thfood.Iguesswi ngsand
kebabswil
ldo.Sostandupandr aisewhat ever
you’r
eeati
ng.
”Theystandupandr ai
sethem.

Danny:
“you’r
eri
ght
,champagnewasnecessar
y.”
Theyal
llaugh.
Me: “
tobeingasel f
-madebi l
l
ionai
reandtothe
fut
ure.”Theladiesscream whil
ethegentl
emen
cheer.Kuhl
ei snexttomewi thi
nablinkofaneye.
Kuhl
e:“
lov
e.”Inod.

Me:“themeeti
ngwentbet
tert
hanexpect
ed.Wear
e
r
icherthanev
er.
”
Kuhle:“
waiter
spleasebri
ngchampagne.Wecan’ t
toastt
hesekindofnewswi t
hf ood.”Weal
llaugh.
Thewaitersbri
ngchampagnesandwepopt hem.
Wepourt hem i
nglasses.“
Onegl asswon’
thur t
.”He
whispersi
nmyearandIgi ggle.

Me:“okay
.Atoast
,TOTHEFUTUREAND
EVERLASTINGFRI
ENDSHI
P!”
Everyone:
“TOTHEFUTUREANDEVERLASTI
NG
FRIENDSHIP!
”

Thef
utur
ecan’
tbepr
edi
ctedbutIcansayt
hati
tis
l
ooki
nggoodfr
om mypoi
ntofview.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER83

Weshouldbehomemaki ngsur ethatevery

thingis
setandall
thethinghavebeenpr eparedforthe
whit
eweddingwhi chist
omor rowandt hetradit
ional
weddingwhichisonSatur day.Butwear eonour
waytomybachel oret
tepar t
ywhi chwi l
lbeinFree
Stat
e.Wehadt oputdistancebet weenusandt he
guyssothatitwil
lbehardt otraceus.

Weleftourphonesinmyhouseaf t
erwesentthem
messagessay i
ngthenetworkcoverageisn’
twel
l.I
al
sosentdadamessagel i
kethat.Knowinghim,he
mighttr
ackusdownandbeatusup.Thi sismylast
dayoffreedom andIi
ntendtospendi tr
eckl
essl
y,
wit
houttheuseofalcoholthough.
Wegett otheWildHorsesLodgeandwechecki n.
myf ri
endssaidthisdayismi nesonomoneyi s
goingtocomef r
om me.Weheadt oourrooms,
changeandt henheadt other anch.It
’snotmyf i
rst
ti
mer idingahorsebutIhavet obeext racareful
not
toharm mybabi es.Aft
erthehor seri
ding,wegosail
theGol denCit
ywher etheyserv euscocktail
sbutof
coursemi nearevir
gincocktails.

Danny:“
soanyst rippersjoi
ningtheshow?”the
l
adiesscream,thesehor nybitches,
theper
centis
goi
ngstraightt
ot heirpussi
es.
Lee:“
hel
lyeah,
theywi
llcomet ot
hesui
teaft
erwe
comebackfrom t
hecl
ub.Butt ot
het
akenladi
es,
youcanl
ookbutcannottouch.Wewil
lbewatchi
ng
you.
”
Zah:
“what
’st
hef
uni
nthat
?”

Noma: “
babeswedon’tcareify
ouwannarui
nyour
r
elat
ionshi
p,butwedon’twantournamesdr
agged
i
ntoyourargument
s.”
Lee:
“exact
ly.
”
Li
ndsay
:“cheer
stot
hesi
ngl
eus.
”
Thando:“
cheer
s.”Shesay
swi
thahy
pedv
oiceand
wealll
ookather.

Me:“don’tt
ell
meyougotdickedbyanEngl
i
shman.
”
sheblushesandl
ooksdown.
Thando:
“itwasnothingser
ious.Iwantedtoexpl
ore
andhewast hereanddamnhewassogood.Idon’ t
l
ovehim butIloveourmoment stoget
her.
”
Lee:
“li
tt
lel
adyhasaf
uckbuddy
.”Shesqueal
s.
Noma:“f
oll
owi
ngi
nthef
oot
stepsofhersi
ster
.”we
al
ll
augh.

Thando:“
youal
sohadf
uckbuddi
essi
si?
”sheasks
l
ookingatme.
Me: “
gir
lyIam amar r
iedwoman.Don’tt
alkt
ome
aboutukungcola.Yey
!”Isayshowi
ngmyr i
ngand
theyall
laugh.Wellwedidgetmarr
iedatHome
Aff
air
s2weeksbackandwer
ecei
vedouror
igi
nal
cer
ti
fi
cat
eyest
erday
.
Danny
:“f
ryus.Wear
eyour
s.”Weal
ll
augh.

Lindsay:“
wecoul dbecelebrat
ingyourfr
eedom but
sinceyouar ealr
eadymarri
ed,well
let’
sjustpr
etend
youar enot.Justfort
hesefewhour s.
”
Me:
“CHEERSBABES!
”
EVERYONE:
“CHEERS!
”
.
.

Wegetbackt othesui
tes,changeandt henhitthe
cl
ub.Iam dr essedi
nabl acksweetheartneckruff
le
tr
imtwistromperwi t
hgr eenbowdécorst il
ett
o
heel
edmul esandalsandagr eenbl
azerjustincase
i
tgetscold.Iam wearinga‘ BRIDETOBE’ sashanda
gl
owingtiara.Iam t
ell
ingy oumyf r
iendscanbe
dramati
c.
Wegett otheclubandf i
rstordershots.Oneshot
can’
tkil
lababy , r
ight?Af t
ertakingthatoneshot,we
headtoourt able.Weor derchampagne, mi nei
s
nonal
coholic.West ar
tdr i
nkingandt hengodancein
thedancefloor.Wear ehav i
ngsomuchf un.TheMC
evencall
sust ot hest agetodosomekar aoke.

Aftert
heclockhits12am, weheadbackt othe
guesthouse.Theladiesfi
rstgot heirsuitesto
changeintothei
rli
ngerieandsilkygownandt hen
comet omysui t
ewhi chisbiggerthant heirsuites.I
alsochangeintomyr edwickedl acecut ourteddy
l
ingeri
eandwearar edsil
kygownont op.Ithenput
onmyr edsli
ppers.HowIwi sht ot akeapi cand
sendittoKuhlebutIknowhewi lldefini
telytrackme.

Danny :“babes,Ihopey ourweddi ngnightl

i
ngeri
eis
hotterthanthisorisjustlikethisbecausedamn
Blue,youar efl
ames.”Hef anshimsel f
.Heisweari
ng
ablackmeshmen’ sbody suitandsomehowhi sdick
i
sn’tshowi ng.WhileLindsayi swearingamen’ssexy
body
sui
tteddyl
i
nger
ie.Igi
ggl
e.
Me:“i
twasimport
edbabesandi
tisr
eadyf
orone
andoneoccasi
ononl
y.
”

Danny
:“cheer
stot
hat
.”
Zah:
“howIwi
shIcansendaf
ewsnapst
oMbuso.
”
Me:“met oo.ButIknowKuhl
ewoul
dusethat
oppor
tunitytotr
ackusandhecoul
dbeherewit
hin
twohours.”

Xoli
:“l
et’
srathercapt
uret
hesemoment
swi
thour
mindsthen.”
Li
ndsay
:“Iwi
l
ldr
inkt
othat
.”

Wepopt hechampagnesandcont i
nuewher ewel ef
t
offwiththedri
nks.Fewmi nut
eslaterNomaandLee
disappearandtheycomebackwi th5st r
ipper
s.We
allscr
eam.Damnt heyar
esnacksbutt heydon’t
reachyou-know-who.Asthebridetobe,theygiv
e
methefir
stl
apdancewhi
chleavesmehotand
hor
ny.Icool
offwi
thabubbl
yglass.

Me:
“damnt
hatwasi
ntense.
”Ev
ery
onel
aughs.
Thando:“canIbet hesecondonet ogett
helap
dance?”weal l
scream andoneoft heguysgotoher
whil
etheot her
sgot otheotherladi
esandtouch
them.Oneoft hestri
ppersstandinfr
ontofLi
ndsay
andDannyandst ripfort
hem.

Li
ndsay
:“damny
ouar
emaki
ngmehor
ny.
”
Danny:“
justoner
ound.
”Il
augh.Ihearaknock
comingfrom t
hedoor
.
Lee:“
it
’sprobabl
ythefoodIorder
ed.Pl easegetthe
doorFuthy.Asyoucansee,wearepr eoccupied.
”
Sheistheonegivi
ngthestri
pperalapdancewhi l
e
Nomai stouchi
ngandkissi
ngthesamest ri
pper.I
l
aughandheadt othedoor.Iopenitandf i
nda
wait
erwithourfood.
Wai
ter
:“ev
eni
ngMr
s.Zul
u.Her
eisy
ourf
ood.
”I
makeway.
Me:“pl
easeent
erandplaceitonthattabl
e.”She
smil
esandgetsinsi
de.Shealmostdropsthefood
whensheseeswhatishappening.

Stri
pper:“wannajoinushoney ?”hesayswithan
amusi nglookinhisface.Thewai t
erquickl
yshakes
herhead.Shepl acesthef oodonthetableand
rushesout .Icl
osethedoorandweal l
laughather.
Myf eettakemet othet ablewi
thfoodandIi ndul
ge
ont heappet i
zi
ngfood.

Me:
“sodel
i
cious.
”Imoansof
tl
y.
Noma:“
damnFuthy,
youaremakingmebawelt
he
f
ood.
”Igiggl
eandsi
tdown.Shecomesandsi
tnext
t
omeandweeat .

Afteranhourorsowehearaknockagai
n.Bythi
s
ti
me, Nomaisgetti
ngf
uckedbyoneofthest
ri
ppers
whileLeeisfuckingoneofthest r
ippers.Thandois
al
soget ti
ngmuf fedwhileDannyandLi ndsayare
havingathreesomewi ththestr
ipperthatwas
str
ippingforthem ear
li
eron.ZahandXol iar
e
enj
oy i
ngtheshowwhol egett
inglapdances.

It
’ssafetosayKUTRI CKY,KUTENSE.Iam soti
red
thatIhaveaskedf orLee’
skeycar
d.Ihavealr
eady
saidgoodby e.Igoopenthedoorandfi
ndthe
managert here.

Me:“owwheyt here.
”Igetoutoft
heroom andshut
thedoorquickl
y.“
Arewemaki ngtoomuchnoise?”
hesmiles.
Manager :
“no.act ual
lyther
eisacallfory ou.
”he
doesn’twaitformet osayany t
hing.Hej usthands
met hephone.“ It
’sav i
deocall
.”It
aket hephoneand
l
ookt othescr een.Ialmostpeeonmy selfwhenI
seeKuhle’sface.
Me:“heybaby.
”Isayinahi
ghpi
tchedv
oice.Iqui
ckl
y
headdownt oLee’
sroom.
Kuhl
e:“
heyl
ove.Whydoy
oul
ooksouneasy
?”
Me:
“me?Uneasy
?No.Iam j
ustt
ir
edsoIam r
eti
ri
ng
i
nmyroom.
”

Kuhl
e:“
inal
i
nger
ie?
”
Me:“wewerehavingagi
rl
s’ni
ghtsoi
twast
hedr
ess
code.
”Isaysi
tt
ingonLee’
sbed.
Kuhl
e:“
buty
oul
ookl
i
key
ouhav
eseenaghost
.”

Me:“may
beit’
sbecauseIwasn’
texpect
ingy
our
cal
l
.”Hechuckl
esangri
l
y.
Kuhle:“y
oulef
tthepr
ovince,
dit
chedyourphoneand
practi
cal
lyr
anawayfrom meadaybef or
eour
weddingday.Whatwereyouexpect
ing?Ihadto
tr
acky oudown.”
Me:“Iam sorr
yfort
hat.Ij
ustwant
edt
oenj
oyt
his
daywithoutdi
str
act
ions.
”
Kuhle: “wellMissDistr
actions,
youbet t
ertellt
he
str
ippert hatwasgi vi
ngy oualapdancet ogetoutof
yourr oom usingt hewindowbecauseIwi llbethere
i
naf ewmi nut
esandIwoul dhatetokil
lsomeone
fewhour sbeforeIsayIdo. ”HehangsupandIpani c.
Ipract i
call
yruntomyr oom andf i
ndtheladiessti
l
l
havingf un.Iswitchoffthemusi candtheyboome.

Me: “ALLTHESTRI PPERSGETOUTNOW! ”they

quicklyrushoutbecausemyt onei
sn’
tfr
iendly.
“GUYSPLEASEFI XYOURSELVES, THEGUYSWI LL
BEHEREI NAMOMENT.THEYTRACKEDUS
DOWN! ”it
’sl
ikeadisast
er,
theyall
runupanddown
l
ikeheadl esschi
ckens.

Lucki
lytheydi dn’tshageachotheronmybedsoI
j
uststrai
ght enit.Theyarebusycollect
ingcondoms
onthegr ound.Wet i
dyupandsi tdownont he
couchesl ooki
ngsoi nnocent
ly.

Danny
:“i
fther
eisanyev
idencel
eft
,wewi
l
ljust
bl
amei tonthesingl
eones.”Weall
nodin
agr
eement .Thi
sissofunnybuti
t’
snolaughi
ng
matt
er.Wehearaknockandweal lj
umpinfear
.

Li
ndsay
:“Fut
hygoopen.
”
Me:
“hhawhyme?
”
Zah:
“becausei
t’
syourr
oom.
”

Me:“Thandogoopen, you’r
etheyoungest
.”Weall
nodinherdi
rect
ion.Shest andsupslowl
yandgoto
openthedoor.“
Whydi dn’twechangeourwear?
”
Noma:
“ther
ewasnot
imef
ori
t.
”

Thando:“bhutidon’ty
ouknowt hatit
’sbadluckt o
seethebridebef or
etheweddi ngday ?”sheasks
withanervoussmi leonherf ace.Kuhledoesn’
t
answerinsteadhegent lepushesheroutoft heway
andstepsinside.Hisey essearcharoundandt hey
fi
ndmi ne.Het akesquickstepstowardsmeand
grabsmywr i
stassoonashei sinfrontofme.
Phi
la:
“damnyouladi
eslooki
ngsexy.
”Hesmi r
ksand
hi
stwinandI
saaclaugh.Theot
hersseem pi
ssed.
Kuhl
e:“
whi
chwayi
sthebat
hroom?
”
Noma: “
Iam herlawyer
.TaseIam her
e,exer
cise
yourr
ighttosi
lence.
”Sheissodrunk,
sheisactual
l
y
i
naudi
ble.Ionl
yheardherbecausesheisnexttome.

Kuhle:
“Iam notar
resti
ngmywife.Ij
ustwantt
o
speaktoherinpri
vate.
”Ist
andup.
Me: “
let
’sgot
oLee’
sroom.”Ipul
lhi
m withmy
shaki
nghands.WegettoLee’
sroom andhel
ocks
thedoorassoonasweareinsi
de.
Kuhl
e:“
Whyar
eyouner
vous?
”

Me:“ Iam notner

vous,Iam justhungr y.”Hel aughs
andshakeshi shead.Icanseet hathei str
yingt o
containhisanger
.“Ionlyreceivedal apdanceonce
baby.IswearIdidn’
tdoany t
hingel se.Idi
dn’tev en
knowt hereweregoingtobest rippers.”Iam t al
king
sofast ,
Idoubthecanev enhearme.Hecupsmy
f
ace.

Kuhle:“
calm downbaby .Doyouwantt oharm our
babies?”Ishakemyheadwi t
ht ear
srunningdown
mycheeks.Hewi pesthem.“
Iam sorrythatIscar
ed
you.Calm down.Iam notgoi
ngt odoany thi
ngto
you.”hehugsmet i
ghtl
yandIjustsob.Heyblameit
onthepr egnancyhormones.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER84

Iwakeupt hefoll
owi
ngmor ningandIfrownwhenI
takei
nmysur r
oundi
ngs.Iam atmypar ents’house
i
nmybedr oom.Howdi dIgethere?Icl
osemyey es
andmemor i
esofKuhlecomingtot heguesthouse
fl
oodsin.guesshebroughtmebackher e.Iwonder
whathesaidt omyfather
.Isitupandclimbof fthe
bed.

Iheadtothebathroom, t
akeoffmyni ght i
e.Iguess
KuhlechangedthelingerieIwaswear ing.Ibrushmy
teethandthentakeal ongwar m shower .WhenIam
done,Idrymybodyandwr apatowel aroundi t
.Igo
backtothebedroom andIf r
ownwhenIseemy
fri
endstherel
ookingdr ai
ned.
Me:“whatexact
lyhappenedl
astni
ght
?”i
t’
sNoma,
Lee,
ZahandXol i
.
Lee:“yourgor i
ll
acameandendedt hef un.DudeI
wast hisclosetoreachi
ngmyor gasm.Tomake
thi
ngswor se, Sboactedl
ikemyfuckinboy f
ri
endand
wasal lmadandshi t.
”Ichuckl
eandsi tonthe
dressingtable.

Me:
“si
fi
keNi
nlapho?(
Whendi
dwegett
her
e?)
”
Lee:“Iam al
sosurpr
isedl
ikeyou.I
twasjust
harmlessfunwit
hhim butitseemsli
keuguyu
catchi
le.
”
Noma: “y
oubett
erenditsoonbef
oreheget
s
obsessedli
kesomeonewhosenameIwon’t
mention.
”

Me:“pl
usy
ouar eoldtase,nooffensebuthis
mother
swouldprobablylookforay oungmaideni
f
t
heyweretohearofhim havingfeel
ingsfora
womanwhois5y earsolderthanhim. ”
Lee:“Idon’tev
enwantitt
oreacht
hatst
age.Iam
cutt
ingtieswithhi
mtoday.
”

Me:“canitnotbemessy
?Idon’
twantanythi
ng
r
uini
ngmyweddi ngday.
”Shenods.“
Andwhat ’
sup
wi
thy ouchurchmi
ce?Whyareyouquiet
?”Iask
l
ooki
ngatZahandXol i
.
Zah:“
Ican’
tfeelmypussy.Lastnightorr
athert
his
morni
ng’spunishmentwasveryrough.Mbusojust
tur
nedint
othisuntamabl
ebeast.Hemur deredmy
pussy
.”

Noma:
“di
dyouatl
eastenj
oyi
t?”shebl
ushes.
Zah:“
ever
ymi
nut
eofi
t.
”Wescr
eam andshecov
ers
herf
ace.
Lee:
“what
’sy
ourst
ory
?”sheasksl
ooki
ngatXol
i
.
Xol
i:
“hepuni
shedmebynotgi
vi
ngmeasi ngl
e
or
gasm butf
uckedmesohar
d,about3r
ounds.”
Me:
“damnt
hat
’shar
sh.
”
Xoli
:“t
ellmeaboutit
.HesaidifIbehavetoday,he
wil
lrepaymewithmul t
ipl
eorgasms.”Wel aughat
herbecauseshelookssoneedyrightnow.

Lee:“
well
pri
ncebaehir
edmasseusetocomehere
andmassageyousothatyoucanber
ejuvenat
ed
befor
eyouwalkdowntheaisl
e.”
Me:
“andpeopl
easkmewhyIl
ovehi
m.”t
heyl
augh.
.
.
Wehav ejustarr
ivedattheSkyVenuewherethe
whit
eweddi ngwi l
lbetaki
ngplace.Ner
vesar
eall
overt
hef ace.Themassagecal medmedownf ora
fewmoment sbutnowIam backt osquar
eone.To
makethingswor se,dadistheonewhoisdri
vi
ngme.
Hekeepsonl aughingatme.

Dad:
“dramaasifyou’
ret
hefir
stpersontoget
marr
ied.Pl
easebeent
heredonethat.
”seehow
sarcast
icheis.Hei sdri
vi
ngt heBugatti
.Theone
thatwasreplacedwi t
hNqobi l
e’smoney .Iheardt
hat
Sthandiweisinament ali
nstituti
onbecauseshei s
apparentl
yhall
ucinati
ngandDonnacommi t
ted
suici
debecauseshewas‘ hearingvoi
ces’.Isaygood
ri
ddancetobadr ubbish.

Me:
“dadpl
easest
op.
”
Dad:“stopbei
ngdramatic.Ofcour
seIam st
oppi
ng
thecar.Wehavereachedourdesti
nat
ionalr
eady
.”I
rol
lmyey esandhelaughs.
Me:
“Iam goi
ngt
otel
lony
ou.
”

Dad:“ youngladyf ocusony ourhusbandandl eav

e
mymar r
iagealone.”Ilaughbecausehi stoneis
hi
lari
ous.Hei sscar edofmom t hisone.West epout
ofthecarandt hephot ogr
aphert akesasmuch
photosaspossi ble.Whi l
eIam st il
ltaki
ngaf ew
breaths,journali
stsmaket heirwayt owherewear e
andst arttakingphot os.
Bytheway ,Iendedupchoosi nganantiquei v
or y
l
aceball gownweddi ngdressdeckedouti nbeadi ng
andembr oi
dery,wit
habeadeddeephal terV-
neckl
ineandabeadedi l
l
usionbackandhor sehair
hem fi
nish.Ialsohav eanotherfort
her eception.
Bothmydr essesareballgowns.Idon’twantt he
mediafocusi ngonmypr egnancybecausemybump
i
salreadyshowi ng.

Ipairedmydr esswithcream Swarovskicrystalback

weddi ngshoes.Thebridesmaidsarelooking
beaut i
fuli
nmer maidburgundydresseswi t
hbl ack
Anyaankl estr
apheels.Iknowf orafactthatthe
guysar ematchingwiththem.Theyal sohav etwo
dresses.Fortherecepti
on,theywil
lchanget obl ack
mer mai ddr
esses,Iguessmyf ri
ends’squatswi ll
fi
nall
ypayof f.

Afterposi
ngforsolong,weheadtothevenue.We
fi
rstheadtowherethemat r
imoni
alcer
emonywi l
lbe
held.Myfamil
yenterfi
rst
.Thenthebri
desmaids
al
soent erdoingtheircat
walks.Luckil
ytheyare
sobertoday.Aftertheyhaveallenter
ed,Siphoset
hu
andAv ethandwageti nwhil
eloiter
ingtheredand
whiterosepedalstheyarecarryingeverywhere,
earni
ngt hemselvesgiggl
es.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Thebandset supeveryt
hingandwhent heyar edone,
R&BsingerBuciemakesherwayt othestage.
Peoplecheerwhentheyseeher .Shesmilesandthe
bandstart
splayi
ngrejoi
ceinslowmot ion.Futhy
walksdownt heai
slewithherfatheronthesideas
themusicplayssof
tly
.Shei safrai
dtolookatKuhle
becausesheknowswhenherey esl
andonhi m,she
wil
lcry.

‘
BabyIl
i
kedi
twheny
out
oldy
ourboy
s
I
’
m wi
thmywoman,
I’
ll
bewi
thmywoman
Thi
slov
ehasj
ustbegun
We’
vehadourf
ight
s,we’
veshedourt
ear
s
Kungakhondi
zazi
ukubandi
ngi
wakho

Thewayy
oul
ovemet
ouchmet
easemebaby
Gi
vesmeaf
eel
i
ngt
hatIcan’
texpl
ain
Youandme,
all
alonei
nthi
swor
ld
Il
osemy
sel
ftot
hesoundofy
ourv
oicesaymy
name

Icannotpr
etend,
tobeatpeace
Sobabypl
ease,
lov
emef
orme
Laymyhear
tatease,
don’
twat
chmebl
eed
Ther
e’smor
eofme,
soj
ustr
eleaseme

Thewayy
oul
ovemet
ouchmet
easemebaby
Gi
vesmeaf
eel
i
ngt
hatIcan’
texpl
ain
Youandme,
all
alonei
nthi
swor
ld
Il
osemy
sel
ftot
hesoundofy
ourv
oicesaymy
name

Di
dyoul
i
kei
twhen,
youhear
dmyv
oice
Say
ingngi
yak’
thanda,
ngi
yakudi
nga
Wehadmadeachoi
ce,
toj
ustr
ejoi
ce
Godhadagr
eed,
thatwecanbe

Youandmeal
lal
onei
nthi
swor
ld
Il
osemysel
ftot
hesoundofy
ourv
oicesaymy
name.
’

Futhylooksatherhusbandwhoi slookingupt ost

op
histearsfr
om fal
li
ng.Whenhef eelsthatsheis
l
ookingather,healsolooksatherandseest helove
onherey esbecausethev ei
lsheiswear ingisnot
coveri
ngherface.Hesmi leswhiletearsfallf
reel
yin
hiseyesandhedoesn’ tbotherstoppingorwi pi
ng
them.Ont heotherhand,Futhyisalsocr yi
ngand
shei
sont
hev
ergeofsobbi
ng.

Theyfinal
lyreacht heaisl
eandSi yabulel
ahands
overhissecondpr incesstoKuhle.Hedoesn’ tsay
anythi
ngbutgi veshim anintenselookwhi ch
i
ndicatesthat‘hurtmydaught er,
Iwi l
lbreakyour
bones’
.Kuhlegi vesSiyaaknowi nglookandt akes
Futhy’
shandwhi chisshaking.

Kuhle:
“youlookbeaut
iful
.”Hesaysast
heylookat
thepastorwhoiswait
ingforpeopl
etoset
tl
edown
sothathecanstartt
hecer emony.
Futhy :
“youl
ookdashi nglyhandsome. ”Hei swearing
abl ackandwhi t
epeakl abeltuxedoandbl ackdress
shoes.Thegr oomsmenar ewear i
ngbur gundyand
blacksuitswithwhiteshirt
sandbl ackdr essshoes.
Hesmi l
esatthecompl iment.Thepast orclear
shis
throatandstartstal
king.

Past
or:
“Dear
lybel
oved,
wear
egat
her
edher
etoday
i
nt hesightofGodt oj oi
nthi
smanandt hiswoman
i
nhol ymat ri
mony .Nottobeenteredi ntolight
ly,
holy
mat r
imonyshoul dbeent er
edintosol emnlyandwi th
rev
erenceandhonor .Int
othisholyagr eementthese
twoper sonscomet oget
hertobej oined.Ifany
personher ecanshowcausewhyt heset wopeopl e
shouldnotbej oi
nedi nmat r
imony, speaknowor
for
ev erholdyourpeace.”

Silencespreadsoutt hev enue.Youcanonl yheart

he
birdschirping.FuthyandKuhl elooksaround.Fut
hy
l
ooksar oundagai nandspot sthepeoplesheis
l
ooki ngf or
.Shet henslowlyraisesherhandand
clearshert hroat
.Peoplegaspandmur murwhen
theyseeherhandup.Kuhl efrownslookingather.
Shest epsf orward,l
earni
ngont hemic.Shetakesit
andl ooksatt heguests.Shespot sthekingandthe
fi
rstqueenandt hensmi l
es.

Fut
hy:“noneedt
obeworri
edpeopl
e.Iam alr
eady
marri
edtothi
sman.
”peopl
esighoutofr
eliefand
somechuckl e.“Ij
ustwannasendashoutoutt othe
twopeoplewhogav emet hishandsomehusbandi n
frontofme.Damnbabyy oul ookli
keawhol emeal,
notasnack, awhol emeal.That’
sall.Youmay
continuewit
hy ouspeechpast or.
”Shepl acesback
themi candev ery
onelaughswhi l
eKuhl echuckles
andshakeshi shead.

Pastor:“
wayt obr eaktheicemakot i.
”Ev ery
one
l
aughsandFut hychuckles.“Any ways,mar r
iageisa
sacredunionbet weenhusbandandwi feandshall
remainunbroken.I ti
sthebasi sofast ableand
l
ovingrelat
ionshipandi sajoiningoftwohear t
s,
bodiesandsoul s.Thehusbandandwi fearetheret
o
supportoneanot herandpr ovi
del oveandcar ein
ti
mesofj oyandt imesofadv ersity.
”

“Weareall
her etowitnessthejoi
ninginwedded
bli
ssofKuhlekonkeZuluandNt ombifuthi
Lwandl
elet
huCel e.Thisjoy
ousdaycel ebr
atest
he
commitmentandl ovewithwhichKuhlekonkeand
Ntombif
uthi starttheirl
ovest ogether
.ThroughGod,
youar
ejoinedt ogetherinthemosthol yofbonds.
Whogivest hiswomani nthishol ymatrimonytothi
s
man?”Siyabulelast andsupl ookingalldapperi
na
t
anthreepiecesui tandnav yshirt.

Si
ya:
“Ido.
”
Pastor:“
nowIhav ereasont obeli
evethatthi
s
beauti
fulcouplehavepreparedtheirownv ows.So
overtoyou.”theytur
nandl ookateachot her.Fut
hy
gi
vesNomaherbouquetandt henjoinshandswi t
h
Kuhle.

Kuhle:“
sthandwaSami ,si
nqandamat heSami ,
si
momondi y
aSami ,phakadelami,thambol ami
l
ekhentakhi,t
hembal amilaphakade.”Theguest s
ul
ulate,
whistlesandcheerwhi l
eFut hyblushesand
l
ooksdown.“ Nowat chmebaby ,wat chmei nt he
eyessothaty oucanseeIam speaki ngfr
om t he
bott
om ofmyhear t
.”Fut
hysmi l
esandr aisesher
head.Shewat cheshim.
“Ibel
ieveinloveatfi
rstsightbecauseIf ellf
ory ou
thefir
stti
meIsawy ou.Thesecondt i
memyPAt ol
d
met hatIhaveameet i
ngwi t
hy ouIt hankedmy
ancestorsbecauseIwi shedIcoul dseey ouallday
everyday.Youar ebeautif
ul,i
nsideout .Youar e
warm, youarekind,youaregent le,y
ougi vesecond
chancesandy oudon’ tholdgrudges.”

“Besidesy ourbeautyandbrains,yourheartiswhat
pull
edmet owardsyou.Todayinf r
ontofev eryone,I
promi set ol oveyou,
honoryou, cheri
shy ou,protect
you,pr ovidef oryouandbey ourpill
arforaslongasI
l
ive.Ial sopr omisenottotakeasecondwi feor
cheatony oubecausey ouaremyhear tandy ou
compl et eme. ”peopl
echeerandFut hyjustsmi l
es.

Past
or:
“ov
ert
oyouMi
ssCel
e.”
Kuhle:“
Iam notdonepastor.
”Futhychuckl
es.
“Ngobangawengi wi
nil
e,ngi
wini
le,ngi
winil
e,ngake
ngawinangokuthol
awena.Weh, weh,wehngaze
ngabambailot
to.”Hesingsanddanceswhi l
epeople
cheerandFuthylaughsbecausehisvoi
cesounds
horr
ibl
ebutit
’sthethoughtthatcount
s,r
ight
?

Futhy
:“myturnnow.”Kuhlechuckles.“
Mageba,Zulu
kaMalandel
aNgokulandelaizi
nkomozamadoda.
Zuluomnyamaondlelazimhlophe.WenakaPhunga
noMageba.WenakaMj okwanekaNdaba.Wena
wenkayi
shanakaMenzi eyaphuzauml azangameva.
Sthul
isi
kaNdaba.Sthul
i si
kaNkombane.Wenaka
Nogwajaomuhlengomlenze.Wenakambambel a
Shoba.Ndabezi
tha.
”Shebowsal i
ttl
e.

Peoplestartcheeringsohar d.TheZul
uroyalsmov e
aroundtheplace, begi
ya.NoKuhl enayeuyagiyai
n
fr
ontofhiswi fe.Manyar eshouting‘
Musho’‘Bayede’
‘
Ndabezitha’‘ZulukaMal andela’
.Thesounddies
downandFut hysmi l
es.

Futhy
:“ y
oucamei
ntomyli
feandtur
neditupsi
de
down.Youmademef al
li
nloveagai
n.Youmademe
tr
ust,youmademedependonyourl
ove.AndIthank
youfort hatbecauseev ersi
nceIsaidyest oyour
l
ov e,Ihavebeenf eeli
ngcompl eteandcontentinsi
de.
TodayIpr omisetol oveyou,tostaytr
uet oyou,to
takecar eofyou,tohonory ouandt onevercheat.I
promi senevertobreaky ourheartandal
sopr ovide
foryouf oraslongasIshal ll
ive.Il
oveyouSt hul
i
SikaNdaba. ”

Pastor
:“t
hatwasbeauti
ful.NowcanIpleasehav
e
theri
ngs?”t
heybri
ngther i
ngsfor
ward.Nowrepeat
aft
erme:witht
hisri
ng,Itheewed.”
FuthyandKuhl
e:“
withthi
sri
ng,
ItheeWed.
”theyput
theri
ngsoneachother
.
Pastor:“
wasGodhasj oi
ned,letnoot herman
separat
e.Withthepowervestedinme, Inow
pronounceyouhusbandandwi fe.Youmayki sst
he
bri
de.”Thecoupleshar
eabr eathtaki
ngki ssandthe
guestscheerl
oudly.
CHAPTER85

*
**FUTHY*
**
Iam of f
icial
lyMrs.Zul uintheey esofthepeopl e.
Kuhle’svowsmel tedmyhear tandIfellforhim even
mor e.Wehav etakenpi cturesandwear enow
headedt ot herecept i
onv enue.Weent eranddance
unti
l wer eachourt able.Themi nutewesi tdown,
Amahl er unsandr aisesherar mssot hatIcant ake
her.Ijustlaughandpi ckherup, pl
aci
ngheronmy
l
ap.

Amahl
e:“
youl
ookbeaut
if
ulmama.
”
Me:“t
hanky
oupr
incess.Youal
sol
ookpr
ett
y.”She
bl
ushes.
Ichuckl
ewhenIseewhot
hepr
ogr
ammedi
rect
ori
s.
TheychoseLele.Healr
eadylooksdrunkbutIknow
heisgoingtodothetaskathandandev enexcel
.
Theprogram st
art
sandt hespeechesstar
t.

King:“ Mahl e,comeher e.

”sheclimbsof fmyl apand
rushest ohergr andfather.Hepicsherup.“ Iam ver
y
happyf orbot hofyoumyki ds.Iwishy ounothingbut
thebest .Iknowt hatyouwi llt
akecar eofeachand
bether ef oreachot hersoIhav enot hingtowor r
y
about .Al lt
hebestandIcan’ twaituntilyougiveme
mor egr andchi l
dren.AlsoMaCel ey ouarenow
offi
ciallymydaught er.Ifhedoessomet hingtoyou,
don’thesi tatetotellme. ”

Siya:“Idi
dn’tthinkoneofmyki dswill
bemar ri
edt o
royalt
yonedaybutIam happybecauset heyareall
wor t
hr oyal
ty.Iam happyf oryoukids.Iwishyou
nothingbutt hebest .Ij
ustwanttotellyouthattr
ust
i
sv eryimpor tantinmar r
iage.Don’
tgiveyourpartner
reasonsnott ot rustyou.Showeachot her
uncondi t
ionalloveev enwheny ouareangryateach
ot
her
.”

Jabu:“loveli
vesbetweent hetwoofy ou.Itisv i
sibl
e
toeveryoneher e.Don’
tstoplovi
ngeachot hereven
ondar ktimes.Supporteachotherandal way stake
eachot her’
ssideagainsttheworl
d.Nev ert ell
anotherpersony ourmarit
alprobl
ems, ratherconsult
amar ri
agecounsel l
orwhoi saneutralparty .
”

MaDl omo:“mutual r
espectisv eryimportant.Evenif
oneofy oumakesmor emoneyt hant heother,koti
knowt hatKwaZul utherei
sno50/ 50.Konkewi ll
alwaysbey ourhusband.Wel lsinceit’
sthe21st
century,
wecansayi t
’sa51/ 49t ypeofrelati
onship
butalwaysrespecteachot her.AndKonke
remembert hatrespecti
sear nednotdemanded. ”
Themi cmov esfrom theelderst oourpeer s.

Noma:“t
aseasy ourl
awy er
,youcancomet ome
any
timei
fy ouar
enol ongerfeel
i
ngthismarri
age.
”I
l
aughoutloudandKuhlejoinsme.“Justj
oki
ng.Il
ike
y
ouKuhleandsof aryouhaveputmygi r
lfi
rst
.Il
ove
t
hatyouar
ehernumberonecheerandy ouarenever
j
eal
ousofhersuccessorfeelthreatened.Ihopethat
y
oucheerforeachotherevenint hefutureanddon’t
l
etot
herpeopletel
lyouother
wi se.”

Lee:“t
aseIam happyt haty ouhav efi
nal l
yfound
yourotherhal
fandy oumi ssingpeace.Ev er
ythi
ng
seemst obefall
ingintoplacei nyourli
fer i
ghtnow
anditmakesmesohappy .Youhav ecomesof arin
l
ifeandIknowy ouar egoingf ar.Togetherwith
Kuhleyouaregoi ngtobuildanempi r
ef oryourkids
andgrandchil
dren.Toy ourfutureandy ourlegacy .
”
Sheblowsaki ssandIcat chit.

Sbo:
“Iam j
usthappyt
hatIgotmysel
farichsist
eri
n
l
awwhowi l
lspoil
meev er
ychanceshegetsand
someti
mestakemeshoppinginMil
an.
”Ilaugh.
Li
sa:“welcomet othef
amilysisi
.Mybr otherchose
well
.Iknowy ouloveeachotherandy ourloveis
suchaninspirat
ionandIknowt hatIwil
lfindlove
evenatage30becausel
oveknowsnoage.
”She
smil
esandIalsosmil
e.

Wegochangei ntooursecondout fi
ts.Forme, i
t’
sa
whi t
elong-sleev edsatinbal l
gownwi t
hwhiteSophia
Webst erChiaraembr oideredleat
hersandals.Kuhl
e
changedhi sbl azerandhei snowwear i
ngagol dand
blackblazer.Thegr oomsmenar ewearingblack
tuxedoswi thbl ackshirtsandnot i
es.The
bridesmaidsar ewear i
ngbl ackmermaiddresses
andbl ackfauxl eatheropensquar etoeanklestrap
heels.

Kuhl
e:“
youl
ookl
i
keat
ruequeent
oday
.”Ibl
ushand
bow.
Me:“that
’sbecauseIam marr
iedt
oaf utur
eki
ng.
Thesekindsofthi
ngsruboff
.”Helaughsandper
ks
mylips.“Youl
ookhotbaby.
”
Kuhl
e:“
Idon’
tev
enwi
sht
otakemyhandsof
fyou.
”
Me:
“thendon’
t.
”Iwhi
sper
.Hecupsmyf
aceand
ki
ssesme.

Phil
a:“st
opwiththebol
dandt hebeautif
ul.We
wannagoi nsi
deandshowof fourchoreography.
”
Webr eaktheki
ssandlaugh.Wehadt hese
rehear
salswherewedidafewdancesandsi nce
Phil
aisagooddancer,hecan’twaitt
oshowof f
.
Kuhl
e:“
let
’sgot
hen.
”

Themusi cst ar
tsfr
om insi
det hehallandwemake
ourwayi nside,doi
ngourweddi ngstep.Wegett o
thedancef l
ooranddot hetokol oshedance.Well
Kuhlemi ghtnothavethesingingv oi
cebutatleast
heknowshowt omove.Wet henchanget ogqom
andwedancet oBusiswa’sBanomoy a.Theguests
cheerloudly.Whenwear edone, weheadtoour
seats.BynowIam outofbr eath.Damngqom musi c
i
st i
ri
ng.

Lel
e:“
Isowi
shIwaspar
toft
hebr
idal
par
tybecause
Iwould’v
el ovedshowof fmydancemov es.”hedoes
thevoshoandt hecrowdcheersforhim.“Wellnow
wearegoi ngt ohaveaperformancefrom the
beauti
fulMi ssKell
yKhumal o.
”Peoplestandupand
cheerforher .

Shetakesthemi candst artsperf

ormi ngEmpini.
Peoplestandupandst artdanci
ng,othersaretaki
ng
vi
deos.Iam justenjoyingherperformance.When
sheisdoneper f
ormi ngEmpi ni
,Lelecall
sust othe
stageforourfi
rstdance.Wegot ot hedancefloor
andKellystar
tssingingNgat hwal
aNgay e.

‘
May
eMay
e,May
e
May
eMay
e,May
e

Awuk’
phel
’umoy
a
Mang’
cabangangawe
Phel
awen’
umydal
i
For
ever
Sek’
phel
’i
oxy
geni
Mang’
cabangangawe
Phel
awen’
umydal
i
For
ever

Awubhek’
indl
ela
I
ndl
el’
indl
el’
Ong’
bukangay
o
Yey
’ungaz’
ufunge
Ngat
hwal
angay
e
Awubhek’
indl
ela
I
ndl
el’
indl
el’
Ong’
bukangay
o
Yeb’
ungaz’
ufungeukut
hi
Ngasebenzangay
e
May
eMay
e
Ngamt
hand’
umunt
u
Kwab’
hl
unguki
mi
Wemadoday
ini
May
eMay
e
Ngamt
hand’
umunt
u
Kwab’
hl
unguki
mi
Ohy
ini
omama’

Wear enotreal
lydanci
ng.Wear ejustt
easi
ngeach
otherandmakingjokes.Thesongendsandpeopl e
cheer.Lel
eannouncesthefatherdaught
erdance.I
dancewi t
hmydadwhi l
eKuhledanceswithmy
mot her
.

Dad:
“youl
ookbeaut
if
ulpr
incess.
”
Me: “
atleastt
hist
imey
ouar
enott
easi
ngMe.
”he
chuckles.
Soont hedancef loorfi
ll
swi t
hcoupl es.Afteral
lthe
dancing, f
oodi sf i
nall
yserved.Whenwear edone
eati
ng, wecutt hecakeandsot hetoast i
ng.Lel
e
call
smet ot hr
owt hebouquet.Istandupandhead
tothest age.Lev elUpbyCi arastartsplayi
ngandt he
l
adiesf i
llthedancef l
oor.Ial
soj oi
nt hem.Whenwe
aredone, Ithrowt hebouquetandi tgetscaughtby
Zahwhocat walkst oMbusoandki sseshim maki ng
everyonecheer .

Kuhleisalsocalledtot hrowthegut t
er.Theyplacea
chairi
nt hemiddleoft hedancef loorandIgosi t
down.Heget sundermydr essandhi shandsl i
ghtl
y
caressesmyi nnerthighs.Fuck.Ismi l
eandt ryto
maskmyar ousal.Histeet hgri
pt hegutt
erandhe
comesoutwi thi t
.Het hrowsi tandIsaacistheone
whocat chesit.Hewear sitonhisheadandwe
l
aughathi m.

Thewhit
eweddi
ngcomestoanendandther
oyal
s
qui
ckl
yrusht
oNongomabecauset
heyhavet
obe
backatdawnt ofetchmef ortheof f
ici
alZulu
wedding.It
akeoffmydr essbef oreheadinghome
becauseiti
stoohuge.Wegethomeandf i
ndpeopl
e
mov i
ngupanddown.I tissobusy .Wegeti nsi
de
andpackbecausei tal
readyislateandweknowt he
royal
swon’tbelate.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER86

Whil
eIam packingmyst uf
f,myphoner i
ngs.Ismi l
e
whenIseethatit’
smyhusbandt hati
scalli
ng.Yep,
myhusband.Kuhleismyhusband.Iam nev ergoing
togetusedt
oit.Iam soluckytobeblessedbysuch
anamazingperson.Ianswerthephonewithawi de
smil
eonmyf ace.

Me:
“My
eni
wami
.”Hechuckl
es.
Kuhl
e:“
mkami
ukahl
e?”Ismi
l
e.
Me:
“kakhul
uNdabezi
tha.
”

Kuhle:“
lookwehav ebeentry
ingt
ogetholdofyour
fat
her.Hisphoneissendi
ngusstrai
ghttovoi
cemail
.
Couldyoupleasegivehi
mt hephone?”
Me:
“ohhokay
.Isev
ery
thi
ngokay
?”
Kuhl
e:“
itwi
l
lbeaf
teri
speakt
ohi
m.”

Me: “
okay,
pleasehol
d.”Ir
ushtohisbedroom wher
e
Ifi
ndhim massagi
nghiswife’
sfeet
.“Thi
sissocute
butdaddyKuhlewant
st ospeaktoyou.
”
Dad:
“di
dhet
rycal
l
ingmyphone?
”Ir
oll
myey
es.
Me:
“wher
eisy
ourphone?
”
Mom:
“it
’schar
gingi
nLel
e’
sroom Ndosi
.”

Dad:“
ohh,gi
vemet hephone.
”Ihandhi
mthephone
andgositonthecouch.“
Andnow?”
Me:“hawuIam wai
tingf
ormyphone,
alsothat
’smy
husbandsoIshoul
dknowwhatyouaredi
scussing.
”
Dad:“
yohsav
elel
wauhusband.
”Hest
andsupand
goestot
hebathr
oom l
eav
ingmeandmom laughi
ng.

Me:
“yourhusbandi
sdr
amat
ic.
”
Mom: “
tel
lmeaboutit
.”Wetal
kaboutmeani
ngl
ess
t
hingsunt
ildadcomesoutoft
hebathr
oom.
Dad:“
youneedtogetev erythi
ngready.TheZulus
wil
lbeherewit
hin2hour s.Theyhaven’tl
eftMhlanga.
Theyaresay
ingtheycan’tgobackempt yhanded.
Theymustgobackwi t
ht heirbri
de.
”

Me: “owwokay.
”Itakemyphoneandheadbackt o
myr oom wher
eIfindmyf ri
endsdr
inki
ngwine.
“Soberupbahl
ali
.Wear eleavi
ngwithi
ntwohours.
Pleasepackupeveryt
hing.”
Lee:
“It
houghtwest
il
lhadenought
ime.
”

Me:“appar
ent
lywedon’t
.Af
teryouar
edonepacki
ng,
goandcookforthei
n-l
awsbecauset
hat
’syour
dut
y.”
Noma:“MAKOTIWOYINYAKAZI
SAUMAILELE,
WOYINYAKAZI
SA!”shest
art
ssi
ngi
ngandIj
ust
l
augh.
Me:
“wel
lIdon’
tneedt
oshakei
tbecausei
tal
way
s
get
sreadywheni
tseesme.
”

Zah:
“chi
pswena.
”Weal
ll
augh.
Xol
i
:“whatsongsdowesi
ngv
ele?
”
Me:“
Iwillsi
ng,‘
KUKHULUMI
NAENGAKUBONA!
”
t
heyrespond.

Them:
“KULEZI
YANTABA!
”
Me:
“KWANONGOMA!ENYOKENI
!”
Them:
“KULEZI
YANTABA!
”
.
.
Wear enowatther oy alguestl
odgewhi chisafew
minutesawayfrom t hepalace.Wear ri
vedhere
around2am andnowt hetimeis6am.Wequi ckl
y
shower,packourthingsandheadt othepalace.We
waitoutsi
detheyar d,whil
einsideourcars.I
exchangetheblanketov ermyshoul derswit
hLee
becausesheisasi ze38, sonoonewi l
lnoti
cemuch.
Mybr idesmai dsandt hemai densgot othegate
whileIsi tinthecarwi thmypar entsandXol i
.I
couldn’twal kar oundthey ardunnot i
cedbecausethe
yardisf ullofguar dsalsoitissohuge.Sboand
Mkhul uliaret heonescar ryi
ngtheki st.Theyopen
thegat ef orthem andt heyenterwhi letheyare
singi
ngi hubol akwaCel e.Theycircletheyardand
thencomebackout si
dewi t
hPhumudzo.

Leegi v
esmet hebl anketandIcov ermy sel
fwit
hit.
Het henleadsust oesi hlahleniwhereweset tl
e
downandsi tongr assmat s.Thewi ndisnottoocold.
It
’sjustwarm.Myf ami l
ygoesi nsi
debey okhul
ekain
groups.Theyt hencomeoutandchi ll
underthetree.
Maidsbr i
ngusf oodwi thtea, cof
fee,i
nyama
yogqokoandal cohol.

Iam notreal
lyinthemoodf orany
thingt
hati
sin
fr
ontofme.Ij ustwantasimplecreamysampwith
beefcurr
y.Mom st opseat
ingandlooksatme
i
nquisi
ti
vely.
Mom:
“whyar
eyounoteat
ing?
”
Me: “
Iam nothungryr
ightnow.WhenIfeel
li
ke
eat
ing,don’
tworryIwi
lltel
lyou.”It
henl
i
edownand
covermyselfwi
ththeblanket.
.
.
Iam wokenupbysomeoneshaki ngme.Yohmom
l
ov esshaki
ngmey eva?Any waysIwakeupandl ook
around.Thesunisal readyupandpeoplearebusy
getti
ngdressed.Iguesst heti
met ogotoesigcawini
i
snear i
ng.Ialsostandup.Mom hel psmeget
dressedinisi
dwaba, ubuhlal
oandizimbadada.Iput
onabl ackbeadedbr a.

Whenwear edone, weheadtoesigcawiniwher ewe

singanddance, compet i
ngwiththeZulur oyals.The
fi
rstpartofthet r
aditi
onalweddi
ngcomest oanend
andwear eledinsidetheyar
d.Theyintroducemet o
theancestorsandsmearmewi t
hbi l
e.After
war ds
Umabof ol
lowsandIchanget oayell
owSwat i
i
nspiredof fshoulderbal
lgownwi t
hamat ching
i
nhloko.Mami doknowshert
hingbecauset
his
dr
essi sbeaut
iful
.

Myhusbandandourbr i
dalpartyar ealsodr essedin
yell
ow,mat chingwi thmydr ess.Wegot othef r
ont
yardandIsi tont hegrassmatf acingdown.Umabo
start
sandmyf r
iendsstartcall
ingt henamesoft he
royal
stocomeandcol lectthei
rbl ankets,grassmat s
andpill
ows.Whent heyaredonewi thmostpeopl e,
theycallumkhongi andXoliistheonewhocov er
s
him wit
ht heblanketwhi l
epeopl eul ul
ateloudly.

Thent het i
mecomesf orthekingtobecall
ed.They
bringahugechai rforhim andhesi t
sdown.My
sistersaretheoneswhohandl ehim.Theystar
t
shower inghim wi
thgifts.Laphoheissmili
ngfrom
eart oear.Whentheyar edone, hi
swivescomeand
takehi sgif
ts.Nowit’
sKuhl e’
st ur
n.Theybri
nga
brandnewbedandhel iesinitcomfort
ably
.

Ismi
l
eandst
andup.Ist
artt
hesong‘
KONKE
OKWAMINGI YOKUCELAENKOSI NI,NGISIZENKOSI
NGIHLONI
PHEUMENDONGASHI YAABAKWETHU
NGAYOGANA! ’
myf ri
endsandthemai denshelpme
si
ngthesong.Itakethebasi
nfil
ledwithcosmetics
andputi
tontopoft hebed.Ist
artimit
atingbat
hing
hi
m asasignthatIwill
takecar
eofhi m atourhome.

WhenIam donebat hinghim, Ihelphim putona

coatoft hesuitIbought .It
hencov erhim wit
ha
comf or
terandmyf ri
endsuset hisoppor tuni
tyto
beathim up.Hei sslowt ogetupbecausemostof
thelashesgethi m.Umabocomest oanendandwe
takeaf ewpictureswi thourout fi
t.Kuhle’smother
l
eadsmet oarondav elwhereshegi vesmea
beautif
ul ol
iv
egr eenbeadedsl eevesmer mai
ddr ess
withaNdebel epr i
ntandamat chinginhlokoand
oli
vegreenheel s.

Me:
“thi
sisbeaut
if
ulma.
”
MaDl
omo:“y
oumakeitmor
ebeauti
ful
makot i
.Thi
s
i
smygif
ttoyou.Wel
comet
othefamil
y.”Sheopens
herarmsandweshareahug.Shethenleadsme
outsi
deandpeopl
eulul
atewhentheyseeus.Kuhle
comesourwayandInoticet
hatheisnowwear i
nga
l
ightbrownsui
twi
thshortsl
eev
esnomqhel e.

Kuhle:“wi
fey.
”Ismi l
e.Heal sohashi sl
eopar dski
n
thi
ngyonhi sshoulders.Het akesmyot herhandand
togetherwil
lhi
smot her
, t
heyleadmei nsidethe
mainhouse.Weent erthishuger oom whi chIhave
neverseenbefore.“Thisisthet hroneroom. ”now
thathement i
onsit,thereisat hroneattheendof
theroom andmanychai rsbesidei t
.

Me: “
pleasedon’
ttel
lmeIam goi
ngt
oencount
ert
he
snakeagain.
”Hechuckl
es.
Kuhle:
“itwasaonceof
fthi
ng.Ipr
omi
sei
twon’
t
happenagain.
”

Me:“
itbett
ernot.
”Wemov ef
urtherint
otheroom.
Ther
oyalsareseatedont
hei
rchairsandtheki
ngi
s
ont hethrone.Thewivesareseatedont hegr ass
mat s.Theseatsnexttotheki ngareempt ywhichI
presumebel ongtoKuhleandhi smot her.Everyone
i
sdr essedineitherol
ivegreenorl i
ghtbr
own.I
guesst hosearethefamilycolours.Theseerisgoing
upanddownnextt ot
het hronewithanincense.

Mt hembu: “
boMagebausezewaf ikaumakotiwenu,
mamkel eni.(Magebaancestor
s,y
oudaughterinlaw
i
sf inallyher e.welcomeher.
)”Hekeepsmumbl i
ng
stuffliket hat.Kuhle’
smom tel
lsmetositdownnext
toMaMol efeandIdosowhi l
eshegoestositont he
l
eftsi deoft hekingandKuhleontheri
ght.

King:“
bokhokhonomkhul u,siy
azi lomci mbi
bekumelewenzi wenamuhlakodway ibaninozwelo.
Cabangelaniumntwanawenu.Yebousef i
kil
e
emagcekeni kodwaakakakhululeki.Siyathembisa
sowenzal omcimbiumasekuf i
kei sikhathi.
(Ancest
ors,weknowt hatthisceremonywas
supposedt obedonetodaybutpl easehav e
compassi on.Thi
nkabouty ourdaught
erinlaw.Yes
shehasar ri
vedinthehomest eadbutshehasn’t
sett
ledin.wewi l
ldothisceremonywhent heti
mei s
ri
ght.)
”MaShez igroansandev er
yonelooksather.

MaShezi
: “
bayal
aNdabezi
tha.(
Theyar
eref
usi
ng
Ndabezi
tha.)
”
Mthembu:“bathi
mawenziwekulempelasonto
el
andel
ayo.(Theyar
esayingitshouldbedonethi
s
upcomi
ngweekend.)”Thekingsighs.

King:“t
henIguessi t’
sdecided.Thecor onat
ionof
MaCel ewill
takeplacethiscomingweekend. ”He
standsupandheadsout .Hiswivesf ol
lowhim.The
chil
drenfoll
owrightafter
.Iam justgluedtothemat .
Didn’
tKuhlesayt hiswil
lbedonei naf ewmont hs?
Whyar etheyrushingitnow?Hecomest owhereI
am seatedandhel psmest andup.Iwai tunti
lweare
outsi
det heroom andIstartspeaking.
Me:
“whatwast
hatabout
?”

Kuhle:“wearegov er nedbyt heancest orsbaby .

Accordingtot hem, Ishould’vemarriedy oul astyear
whenwemet .Butlet’sforgetaboutt hecor onation
forami nuteandf ocusonourguest s, i
t’sour
weddingday .
”Ismi l
e.Soi sthishowl ifeisgoi ngto
befrom nowon?Li v i
ngbyt heancest ors’rules?
Whatift heywantKuhl etotakeasecondwi fe?Yoh,
marryintoroyaltytheysaid, butneverwar nedy ou
aboutwhathappensi nsi
det hepalacewal ls.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER87

Iam soluckyt
hatthishousehasmaids.Idon’thav
e
towakeupearlyinthemor ni
ngtodomybr ide
duti
es.I
t’
sMondaymor ni
ngandthekinghasasked
tohaveameetingwi t
heveryoneaf
terbr
eakf ast
.
Every
oneissti
llathomebecauseit’
sEasterMonday .
Ican’
tbeli
evethisi
salsonowmyhome.

Igetupf r
om thebedandgot akeashower .Kuhlei
s
stil
lsleeping.WhenIam doneshower ing,Idryand
l
ot i
onmybody .Ithengetdressedinblackcriss-
crossl acepanel tee,
fol
iagepr i
ntover
lapskirtand
blackv ir
tusleathermules.ItieaBaroccoMosai c
printscarponmyheadandputascar facrossmy
upperbody .It
henheaddownst air
stot hekit
chen.I
fi
ndmai dsgoingupdownpr epari
ngbreakfast.
Me:“
goodmor ni
ngever
yone.
”Theygreetback.
“
Don’
tmindme, Ij
ustwannaprepar
ebreakf
astfor
myhusband.
”
Mai
d1:“
youcanuset
hisst
ove,
yourmaj
est
y.”I
smi
l
e.

Me: “
Iam noty etaprincessbutokay .
”Ipr epar
e2
sli
cesoft oast,
oneegg, bacon,tomatoesandacup
ofcoffee.Ithenputitonat rayandheadbackt oour
room.Ifindhim sti
l
lsleepi ng,heisfacingupwar ds
withhishandsonhi sf ace.Iputt hetr
ayont he
bedsidetableandcli
mbont hebed.Ist raddlehim
andkisshi m.Hegroansandopenshi sey es.

Kuhl
e:“
mor
ningwi
fe.
”Ismi
l
e.
Me:
“morni
nghusband.
”It
henki
sshi
m.Heki
sses
mebackandIbr
eakthi
ski
ss.
Kuhle:
“youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.Wher
ear
eyouheaded
to?
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“Iam awif
ehere.Eveni
fIam notgoingtodo
anychor
es,Ihavetobeupandcleanatleastby
7am.”Herol
lshiseyes.
Kuhl
e:“
ohhmakot
i.
”Hesay
ssar
cast
ical
l
yandI
l
augh.
Me:“Imadebr
eakf
astf
ory
ou.I
ssabr
eakf
asti
n
bed.
”

Kuhle:“
that
’ssomethi
ngIwouldact
ual
l
ylov
eto
havefortherestofmyli
fe.
”Ismi
le.
Me:“nowsitupanddri
nky
ourcof f
eebeforei
tgets
col
d.”Hesit
supandIhandhimt hetr
ay.“Wel
lyou
knowIhardl
ycooksoIam rougharoundtheedges.
”
Hechuckl
esandstart
seat
ing.

Kuhl
e:“
thi
sisgood.
”Icl
apmyhandsl i
kea2year
ol
dseei
ngcandyandhelaughsshaki
nghi
shead.
Me:“
letmetakeoutwhatyou’r
egoingt
owear
t
oday.
”Icl
imbof ft
hebedandheadt ot
hecloset
.
“
Doyouhaveprincedut
iestoday?
”hechuckl
es.
Kuhl
e:“
it
’sahol
i
day,soIwil
lbespendi
ngt
heday
wit
hmylovel
ywifeaf
tert
hemeeting.
”
Me:“okay.”It
akeoutbr owndresspants,
awhit
e
short
-sl
eevedt-shi
rtandwhitesneaker
s.Ipl
ace
them onthecouchint hecl
oset.
.
.
Afterthemeeti
ng,weallheadtotheloungeand
settl
edown.Wellunli
keont hethr
oneroom, herewe
sitonthecouches.Thi
sloungeiscustomizedfor
thisl
argefamil
ybecauseev er
yonefi
tsinwell.

King: “
wellIwanttost ar
tbywelcomi ngMaCel eto
thef amil
yagain.Thisisyourhomenow.Youcando
what everyouli
kebutdon’ tpar
adehal f
-naked.”we
l
augh.“ Wear eav eryhugefamilyandsomeofus
hav ewivestotakecar eofussot her
ei snoneedf or
yout owakeupear l
yinthemor ningandpr epare
breakfast.Justcatertoyourhusband’sneedsnj e
mt anami.”Ismile.
Sbo:
“sbwl
ukubanowi
fe.
”
MaDubazane:“
vel
ewhenar ewemeet i
ngy our
gi
rlf
ri
end?Yourbr
otheri
smar r
iedfort
hesecond
ti
mewenay ouhaven’
tevenint
roducedawomant o
us.Areyousur
eyouknowhowt ocourtawoman?”
welaugh.
Sbo:“Iam t
ell
i
ngyouma,byDecembert
hisy
eary
ou
wil
lhaveadaught
erinl
aw.Ipr
omise.
”

MaDl
omo:“wewil
lbel
iev
ethatwhenweseei
t.
”The
ki
ngcl
ear
shist
hroat.
King:
“asIsaidonSat urday,MaCele’scor
onati
onwill
beonSat ur
day.Iknowt hatwej usthadabig
weddingbutwhent heancest or
ssaywemustdo
something,wedon’tdelaybecausewedon’ twantto
angerthem.KaMahl abaandMaDubazaney ouwill
beinchargeofthepr eparat
ionsoftheceremony.
Sonsy ouknowwhatt odo.”

“
MaDl
omoandMaMol
efey
ouwi
l
lteachMaCel
e
every
thingsheneedstoknowaboutbei ngaZul u
pri
ncess.MaShezi won’
tbeav ail
abl ethi
sweek
becauseshei sgoingt
ot hecavet oconsul twit
hthe
ancestorsandmakesur ethatev erythi
nggoes
accordingtoplanonSaturday.Justsoy ouknow
makot i
,youwon’tbeli
vi
ngher ebuty ouarefreeto
comeany t
imejusttovi
sitori
fy ouhav eany
probl
ems. ”Inod.“
Meetingadjour ned.”

Everyone:
“Ndabezi
tha.
”Hest
andsupandheadsout
fol
lowedbyhisbrot
hers.
Kuhle:“comebaby .Iwannashowy ousomethi
ng.”
Hest andsupandIal sostandup.“Don’
tworr
yabout
theprincesslessons.Theywil
lst
arttomor
row.”We
l
eavet heloungeandhel eadsmeout si
de.

Me:
“wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
”
Kuhl
e:“t
omyfav
ouri
tepar
toft
heki
ngdom.”We
cl
imbint
ohi
scarandMpendul
odr
ivesout
.
.
Wegett ot hisbeautif
ul gardenthathasverypret
ty
fl
ower s.May beit
’sar oyal gar
den.Wecl i
mboffthe
carandhet akesoutabasketandabi gpaperbag
from theboot .Wewal kdownapav ementandthen
comeacr ossaspotunderat reewhichhasver
y
beautifulgreengr asswhi chy ouonlyseeonthose
famousst adiums.Hel aysdownat hrowandplace
cushionsont opofthet hrow.

Kuhl
e:“youmaysity
ourmajesty
.”Igiggleandsi
t
down.Hesitsdownopposi
temeandt akesoutf
ruit
s
andsandwichesf
rom t
hebasket.Thereisalsoj
uice
andbeer.
Me:
“thi
splacei
sbeauti
ful
andt
hanky
ouf
ort
aki
ng
meout.
”hechuckl
es.

Kuhl
e:“Iam yourhusband.Iam supposedto
pampery ouandshowery ouwit
hl oveever
ychanceI
get
.”Ismi l
e.
Me:“Iguesst
hismarri
aget
hingwon’
tbet
hatbad
af
terall
.”hel
aughs.
Kuhle:
“sowhatdoyout
hinkaboutNongomaso
far
?”heaskshandi
ngmewhitegrapes.

Me: “
wellIdon’tlikethatsuchahugepl acehasonl
y
onetownwhi chisalway sovercr
owdedandt omake
thi
ngswor se, t
hereisnopl aceforexpansi
on.And
thefactthatithasonehospi t
ali
sshocking.Youar
e
royalpeople.Thisisyourland,howcany oulet
somet hi
ngl i
kethishappen?Wher edoyoushop?”he
scrat
cheshi shead.

Kuhl
e:“Ishoul
d’veknownyouweregoingt
oatt
ack
thei
nfr
astruct
ure.”Il
aughandshakemyhead.
Me:
“beser
iousbabe.
”
Kuhl
e:“wel
lmyfat
herhasveryhugeunuti
li
zedl
and
andwealsohaveourownland.Maybewecanbuil
d
amalleSi
phambanwenioreWhiteCit
y.”

Me:
“aser
iousmal
l
?”
Kuhl
e:“
wit
hyouast
hepr
incess,
Iam sur
ewecan
bui
l
dast
ateoft
hear
tmal
l
.”
Me: “t
herearesomanythingsIwi
shIcando
becausey ohthi
splacei
ssounderdevel
oped.The
ri
chpeoplearen’tdoi
nganythi
ngt
ohelpthepooror
upli
fteachother.
”

Kuhl
e:“
whatmor
edoy
ouwannabui
l
d?”
Me: “
apar
tfr
om ahospi t
al,
skil
ldevel
opmentcentr
es.
YouknowIam allaboutupli
ft
ingtheyout
hsot hat
theycandobet
terforthemselves.
”
Kuhle:
“Iwi
ll
askforameetingwithfat
herafterour
honeymoonandmay bebythenyouwoul d’
vemade
sket
chesaboutal
lthesei
deasofy our
s.”Ismil
e.

Me:
“wear
est
il
lgoi
ngt
oourhoney
moon?
”
Kuhl
e:“
thi
sisy
ourf
ir
stmar
ri
age.Iwanty
out
oenj
oy
i
tsomuch.”
Me:“i
t’
snotonl
yaboutme.I
t’
salsoabouty
ou.You
shoul
dalsoenj
oyt
hisuni
on.Secondt
imeisluck.
”
Kuhl
e:“y
esiti
s.Especi
all
ywhenyouareget
ting
marri
edtoy
oursoul mat
e.”Hel
eansforwar
dand
ki
ssesme.
.
.
I
t’
sWednesdayaf ternoonandIam kakt i
red.
Somet i
mesIt hinkthesepeopl eforgett
hatIam
pregnant.Notthattheyar eslavi
ngmebutmybody
i
sst i
llt
ir
edfrom thef esti
vit
iesoftheweekendand
nowIshoul dbepr eparingforanotherevent.

Themot hersshowedmear oundt heki

ngdom and
wev i
sit
edaf ewfamili
eswhi chwegav efood
hamper sandsomebl anketssincewinteris
approachi
ng.Ihav eheardhowcol dthi
spl acecan
geti
nwi nter.Notthatwhatwear edoingisextreme
buteversinceIgother e,Ihavebeenski ppingmy
middaynapandt hat’
snotheal th.

JustasIam aboutt
ocl
osemyey
esanddr
if
tto
sl
eepmyphoner i
ngs.Igr
untandsitup.It
akeit
fr
om theni
ghtst
and.It
’sXol
i.Ihopeever
ythi
ngis
okayathomeandatDCC.

Me:
“heyXol
i
.”
Xol
i
:“heybossl
ady
.Ar
eyoubusy
?”
Me:
“no.what
’sup?
”shecl
ear
shert
hroat
.
Xoli
:“wel
lIknowthatMaywi
llbethelastmont
hthat
Iwil
lbeworkingf
oryoubuti
tdoesn’thavet
oend
l
ikethat
.”

Me:
“whatar
eyousay
ingXol
i
?”
Xoli
:“Iwoul
dli
ketobether
ecepti
oni
stoft
heJobur
g
off
icesift
heposi
ti
onhasn’
tbeenfi
ll
edyet
.”
Me:“ohhokay
.Youdon’twannabeahousewi
fe?
”
shechuckl
esner
vousl
y.
Xol
i
:“Idon’
tthi
nkIcansur
viv
ethat
.”
Me:“okay.Sendy
ourCVt oHRusi ngmyemai l
.That
wi
llguarant
eeyoutheposit
ion.Iam al
sosureZah
wouldlovetowor
kwithsomeonef ami
li
arl
ikeyou.
”
Xoli
:“t
hanky ousomuchboss.Nowgoonandt
ake
youraft
ernoonnapbecauseyourv
oicei
s
demandingit.”Il
augh.

Me:
“what
ever
.”Ihangupandsl
eep.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
CHAPTER88

*
**KUHLE*
**
Iam noli
ghtsleeperbutIdefini
telycanfeeli
twhen
someoneIam sl eepingwit
hisget ti
ngoffthebed.I
si
tupandIf r
ownwhenIseemywi fewal
kingtothe
doorweari
ngonl yhersil
kylongni ghtdr
essand
baref
oot.Whatthef uckisgoi
ngon?Icheckt heti
me
andIfrownwhenIseet hati
t’
s1: 40am.

Me: “baby.
”Shedoesn’ tanswerme.Shej ustopens
thedoorandheadsout .That’
sodd.Fut hyisno
sleepwalker.I
sthisrelatedtot hecoronat
ionthatis
happeningt omorrow?Iqui cklycli
mbof fthebedand
putonmysweat pant s,t-
shir
tandsl eeper
s.Irun
afterher.“
Futhy!
”If i
ndheront hehallway.Sheis
aboutt ocli
mbof fthest ai
rs.Irushtoherandhol d
her
.“Babysnapoutofi
t.
”Shedoesn’
tlookatme,
shejustl
ooksst
rai
ghtahead.

“BABA!MA!”Ishoutver
yloudbecauseherbehav
ior
i
sv er
yalar
mingandscarri
ng.Withi
nafewmi nut
es
every
oneisinthehal
l
wayl ooki
ngatus.
Baba:
“Kuhl
ekwenzenj
ani
?”
Me:“
sheissleepwal
ki
ng.Shei
sn’
tsay
ingany
thi
ng.
Shei
sjustst
arri
ngahead.
”

MaShezi
:“l
ethergo.
”If
rownandl
ookather
.
Me: “whatift
heyarebewit
chi
ngherma?Ican’
tlet
hergo.Thisismywi f
e.Themotherofmyki
ds.I
can’tjustl
ethergowit
houtknowi
ngwhereshei
s
going.”

MaShezi:“
sheisnowpr
otect
edbytheZul
u
ancest
ors.Not
hingi
sgoi
ngtohappentoher
.Lether
go.”
Me:“f
ine.ButIam comingwithher.
”Ilethergoand
shedescendsthestai
rs.Iam r
ightbehindherj
usti
n
casesomethinghappens.Myfami l
yfoll
owsus.

Wegetoutofthehousewithherl
eadingt
heway.
Whenwegett othegat
e,wearestoppedby
MthembubutFuthyconti
nueswal
king.If
oll
owher
butIam st
oppedbyMthembu.

Mt
hembu:
“lethergo.
”If
rown.
Me:
“excuseme?
”
Mthembu:“
sheissafeandshewil
lbeback
tomor
rowjusti
nt i
mefort
hecoronat
ion.Cal
m down
andgobacktosleep.
”

Me:“whati
fsheencount
erssnakes?Wher
eisshe
goi
ng?”
Mthembu:“youdon’tneedt oknowthat.Yourmother
wentthr
oughthesamet hingandlookathernow
st
andingnexttoyou.Not hingwi
ll
happent oMaCele.
I
fsomethi
ngbadwastohappen,Iwoul
d’v
eseenit.
Nowy oumayal
lgobackt
osleepandIwillf
oll
ow
her
.”

Me:
“but
…”dadhol
dsmyupperar
m.
Dad:“l
et’
sgoi
n.”hel
eadsmebacki
nsi
det
he
house.
”
.
.
*
**FUTHY*
**
Itf
eelsli
keIam dr eamingbutatthesamet imeIcan
tel
lthatIam notdreaming.Igettothisfl
owingri
ver.
Iwaswal ki
ngwi ththi
soldbeautif
ulladybutit
seemsl i
keshehasdi sappeared.Iseearocknextto
theriv
erandIsi tt
here.Whil
eIam si t
ing,
thewind
changesandi tsuddenlybl
owshar dmaki ngther
iver
mov eharshl
ybutsomehowIam war m.

Someonecomesoutofther
iverandIf
rown
st
andi
ngup.Thatper
sonisf
ollowedbytwoot
her
peopl
e.Ibli
nkrepeat
edlyandthenopenmyeyes.
Thepeoplegettotheri
verbankandIcannowsee
thatt
heyareoldwomen.Theysmi l
eandcomet o
whereIam standi
ng.

Woman1: “
youar
emorebeaut
if
uli
nperson.
”Ismi
l
e.
Idon’tknowwhy,
butIf
eel
socomfort
ablewit
h
thesewoman.
Woman2:“
andl
ooksver
yhealt
hy.Sher
emi
ndsme
ofmy
sel
fwhenIcametothepal
ace.
”

Woman3: “
youar
eblessed.
”Shest epsclosertome
andtouchesmybell
y.Thebabieskickveryhardand
Igaspwhilegi
ggl
i
ng.Thisist
heirfi
rsttimekicki
ng
anditf
eelssomagicalandoverwhelming.

Me:
“sor
ryt
oask,
butwhoar
eyou?
”
Woman1:“Iam Nosi
zwe,
Kuhl
e’
sgr
eat
-gr
eat
gr
andmot
her.”
Woman2:
“Iam Cel
i
we,
Kuhl
e’
sgr
eatgr
andmot
her
.”
Woman3:“andIam Lubel
i
hle,
Kuhl
e’
s
gr
andmot
her.”

Me:
“you’
reXhosa?
”shel
aughs.
Lubeli
hle:
“theZulumancoul
dn’
tresi
stmyXhosa
charm.”Weal l
laugh.
Me:
“sowhyam Iher
e?”

Celi
we: “
doyouev enhav etoask?
”Ilookather.“You
arethechosenqueenf oroursonandt odayisyour
coronati
on.I
tisourdutyt ocr
owny oufir
stand
str
engthenyoubef or
ey ougofaceyournationand
l
eadi t
.”

Nosizwe: “
youmaysi t.Wedon’ tmindstandi
ng
becausewedon’ tgett i
red.”Isi
tbackontherock
andt heystandonei thersidesofmewhi leNosizwe
standsinfrontofme.“ Youar egoi
ngtobeaqueen
soonandt hemot heroft henati
on.Iff
actmotherof
thewhol eworld.Don’tlimityourki
ndnesstoyour
ki
ngdom only
.Youar enownotonl
ygoi
ngt
obe
l
iv
ingforyoursel
fbutforev
ery
one.
”

“Leadbyexampl e.Wearenotsay ingdon’ thavef

un
butdon’tdosomet hi
ngthatwillt
ar nishy ourname
andt heZuluname.Asmuchasy ouar egoi ngto
l
eadt henation,yourfamil
ycomesf i
rst.Alwaysbe
thereforyourhusbandandy ourchildren.Don’tbe
anabsentmot herandwifejustbecauseofy our
pri
ncessdut i
es.Learntobalanceev erything.
”

Celi
we: “hel
pgr owt hi
snat i
on.Youhav eallt
he
abil
itytodoso.Youar enotonlygoi ngtobet he
mot herofthechildrenfrom yourwombbutev ery
chil
doutt here.Kuhle’
ssi bl
i
ngsar enowy oursibl
ings,
mor eoveryourkids.Whent heyneedy ou,bethere
forthem.Alsobet her
ef oryourmot her-i
n-l
aws.
Don’tbesur pri
sedbyt hem comi ngtoy ouforadv i
ce
from ti
met ot i
me, j
ustprovideadviceanddon’ t
makef unoft hem. ”
Lubeli
hle:“youneedtoknowal lt
hecer emoni esthat
aregoingtohappenatt hepalaceandwhati s
neededf orthem tobeasuccessandal l
.Wedon’ t
seeKuhl etakingawifeinthef ut
uresoy ouar egoing
tobethef ir
stwi f
eofli
teral
lyallKuhle’
sbr ot
hers.
Meaningev erywi f
ethatmar r
iesintheZul ufamily
aftery
ouwi llbeguidedbyy ouandt aughtev eryt
hing
theyneedt oknowbyy ou.”

“Takenot
eofev er
ythi
ngy ourmother-
in-l
awsar e
teachi
ngyoubecausesoony ouwillbeexpect edto
passdownt hesameadv i
ce.Youarethepi ll
arof
everywomant hatistocomet otheZul ufamily.We
knowthatthisjobwon’tbedi f
fi
cul
tfory ou.You
werechosenf oragoodr eason.Weknowy ouwon’ t
fail
thi
ski
ngdom andy oursel
f.
”

Nosi
zwe:“wal
kwithpri
de.Yourvoiceisnowt helaw.
Youcancommandpeopl etodowhaty ouwant.I
t’s
notacr
ime.Youcanevencommandy ourhusband.
Hemaybet hepr
incebutheisonlythatbecauseof
theblood.Wenayouwerechosenamongstmanyf or
thi
s.Youarespeci
alandwealsorespectyou.
”I
smi l
e.Shel
ooksupandIalsolookup.Thesunis
ri
singnow.

Celi
we:“
youhav
etogetready.Come.”Shetakesmy
handandIst
andup.Sheleadsmeinsidet
her i
ver
.
.
.
Aftersomet i
me,wegetoutoftheriv
erandt heyhelp
megetdr essedi
naoneshoulderforestgreenA-l
i
ne
l
ongdr essandMaCelebeadedt akki
es.Theyputal l
ty
pesofbeadsonmybody .Theyputoni ngweroyal
cl
ot haroundmyshoulder
sandabl acki nhl
oko.

Celi
we:“
youlookverybeaut
if
ulMaCel
e.”Ismi
l
e.
“Thi
sisyour
s.”Shehandsmebeadedknobker
ri
e.
Me:
“thanky
ouma.
”
Nosizwe:“andt
hisi
syours.
”Shehandsmeabeaded
spear.Seemsli
keIam goi
ngtowar.Ismi
l
eagai
n.
Me:
“thanksma.
”

Lubeli
hle:“gonowPrincessMel aminaZulu.Youar
e
theli
vingancestor
.Youar epartofusnow.Youar e
standi
ngi nforusint
hewor ldoftheliv
ing.Know
thatanythi
ngy oudo,
wewi l
lal
way sbea100%
behindyou.”
Me:
“ngi
yabongamama.
”

Nosi
zwe:“gonowanddon’ tlookback.
”Ismileand
st
epfor
war d.Ifeel
soconf i
dentandIknowt hatIwi
ll
l
eadandtaket hekingdom tonewheights.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
TheminuteFuthystepsintothepalacegat
es
ever
yonestart
sululat
ing.Somear esayi
ngZulucl
an
namesandsomebay agiya.Sheisnotsmil
ingor
l
ookingatanyone.Sheisjustlooki
ngahead.She
l
ooksatMt hembuwhoi sstandi
ngatthefr
ontdoor
ofthepalace.Shebowsherheadal
i
ttl
easasi
gnof
greet
inghim.

Mthembu: “Pri
ncessMelaminaZulu.Wel come
home.”Shegi veshi
m alit
tl
esmi l
e.“Foll
owme. ”he
l
eadst hewayandt heybothheadtot hethroneroom
wherealltheZuluroyal
sareat.Theygeti nsi
deand
every
onest andsupassoonast heyent er.Theyget
tothefrontandFuthykneelsbefor
et heking.

Fut
hy:
“Bay
edeZul
ukaMal
andel
a.”
Mthembu:
“mykingIpresenttoyouPrincess
Melami
naoftheZuluKingdom.”Thekingtakesof
f
hi
scrownandplacesi
tont opofFuthy
’shat.

King:“y
ouarerecogni
zedmychi l
d.”Heput sback
hi
scr own.“
Nowst andupandgogr eety ourhusband
andthengomakeanoat hinfrontofy ourpeople.
”
Shesmi l
esandstandsup.Theotherr oyal
sgoout ,
l
eav i
ngKuhleandFuthyal
oneinthet hroneroom.
Kuhle:“
Melami
na.”Futhybl
ushesandl
ooksdown.
“Youlookv
erybeauti
fulmyqueen.
”
Futhy:“youalsolookhandsomemyki ng.”Kuhle
smiles.Hei sdressedinawhit
eturt
leneck,f
orest
greendresspant swithamambathaandhi sleopar
d
royalcl
ot honhisshoulder
s.Heisalsowearinghis
cowski ncrown.Hegi vesherabri
efkiss.

Kuhl
e:“
let
’sgo.Younat
ioni
swai
ti
ngf
ory
ou.
”

Theyheadout sidet owher ethecoronationi

staking
place,i
nahugef ramet ent.Theygetthereand
peoplecheerwhent heyseet hem.Theymaket heir
wayt othef ront.Shet akestheoathandwhenshei s
doneshet akesherseatnextt oherhusband.The
festi
vit
iesstart.Ther eissingi
ng,dancingandpoet ry
donebyt hepeopl eoft hekingdom.Ther ear
e
j
our nal
istsandFut hy’
sf amil
yandbusi ness
associates.
Whenev er
ythi
ngisdone,
peopl
ear
eserv
edfood.
Fut
hystandsupandgoeswherehi
sfamil
yisseat
ed.
Herfat
herstandsup.

Si
ya:“
shoul
dIbownowwhental
ki
ngt
oyou?
”Fut
hy
l
aughsandpul
l
shiminf
orahug.
Jabu:“
caref
ulnottostabmyhusbandwiththat
spear
.”Ev
eryoneonthet abl
elaughswhi
l
ethey
comeandhugFut hy.

Fut
hy:
“Iam sohappyt
haty
ouguy
smadei
ther
e.”
Lee:
“wewouldn’
tmi
ssthisf
oraworldt
ase.I
tis
i
mportantt
oyousoi
t’
salsoimpor
tantt
ous.”
Noma:“soyou’
repr
incessnow.Nomor
epar
tyi
ng?
”
Fut
hychuckl
es.

Fut
hy:
“Icanhav
efunbuti
npr
ivat
e.”
Noma:
“wor
ksf
orme.
”ev
ery
onel
aughs.
Lel
e:“
Pri
ncessMel
ami
na.YourMaj
est
y.”Hi
m and
Gci
nobowcausi
ngFut
hyt
olaugh.

Gcino:“
soy ouaregoingtobeShakaZuluf
ort
he
restofyourli
fe?Car
ryingaspearev
ery
whereyou
go?”Futhyroll
shereyes.
Fut
hy:
“you’
redr
amat
icy
oungmanbutIl
ovey
ou.
”
Gci
no:
“lov
eyoumor
epr
incess.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
#Pr
incessMel
ami
na
CHAPTER89

Wedi dfinal
lygotoourhoney moon.Wer eall
ywent
l
ocal.Wev i
sit
edeveryprovi
nceandpeopl ewere
actuall
yhappyt oseeus.Theytreatedusl i
ke
cel
ebr i
ti
es.WellIsti
l
lwor emaxidressesandwhen
someonesuspect edpregnancy,wej ustsaidKuhlei
s
tr
eatingmesowel l
.

Wedi dmov etohishouse.IalsotookK, Mabut ho

andThobekawi thme.Gcinoi stheonel ookingaf t
er
myhouseandhest ayswithahousekeepert here.I
havebeensobusyt hepastf ewmont hs.Goi ngin
andoutoft hecountr
ysigni
ngcont ractswi ththe
cl
ient
sIgotf rom t
heconference.Iam l uckyKuhl e
hasaj etorel
setheywould’vehavel etmet aket he
fl
ight
sbecauseofhowbi gmybel l
yi s.
TheNongomahousepr ojectisnearlyf
inishedwi t
h
thebuil
ding.Allthat’
sleftisinter
iordesigning.The
Mandlanzinihousei sdonewi t
hinteri
ordesi gni
ng.I
j
ustneedt of ur
nishitbutIwi lldothataftergivi
ng
bir
th.Idon’tknowt hepr ogressofthesecr ethouse
becauseKuhl ehasl i
terall
ytakenov er.

Butalli
nallmyl i
f ehasbeenabl i
ss.Marri
ageli
feis
great
.Whet herwear est i
l
linthehoneymoonphase
ornot,Idon’tcare.Ijustl
ovemyl i
feri
ghtnow.Itol
d
theki
ngaboutmypl ansfortheki
ngdom andhe
gavemeasi te.

Current
lymymenar ebuildi
ngthehospit
alandthe
skil
l
sdev el
opmentcenter.Whenwearedonewewi ll
star
tont hemallandtarr
oadsont hevi
ll
ages.The
governmentisn’
tdoinganyt
hingtodevel
opthatarea,
soit’
smyj obtodoso.
Ial
soopenedmyCapeTownandJobur goff
icesand
wehav ebeenreceiv
ingclient
smor e.Iam even
workingonhav i
nganof f
iceinEurope,Ameri
caand
i
nMexi co.Ihaveint
ernati
onalcl
ientsnow,sot hese
off
iceswillbegoodforthem.

Parenti
ngAmahl eandZwel i
hasn’tbeeneasy .This
onetimeGar ycame, wanti
ngt oclaimt hekids.He
al
sosai dhewi l
ltakeKuhl etocour tforkidnapping
hi
schi l
dren.Theyf ought,
likefistf
ightingbutt hey
fi
nall
ycamet oanagr eement .Kuhlesai dhewi ll
i
ntroducehi mtot hekidsbutasanuncl e,hi
sfriend,
nottheirrealf
ather.Theywi l
lexplaintot hekids
whent heyareolderbecauset heywillunderstand
well.

Xoli
andPhumudzodi dgetmar ri
ed.Theywedding
wasv erybeauti
ful
.Theirhoney moonlastedfora
wholemont h.Xolihasbeendoi ngsuchagr eatj
ob
asar ecept
ioni
st.Iguesswor kingformedidher
goodbecausenowshei smor efreeandbubbly.
Zahli
terall
ywentcr azywhenIhandedhert heCEO
posi
ti
onoft heJoburgoffi
ce.Shewassohappyshe
l
it
eral
lycried.Mbusowasal sohappyt hathisbaeis
nowli
v i
ngwi t
hhimi nJoburg.Theyar
est i
l
lv er
y
muchinl oveandt heyareli
vinginMbuso’smansion.

Wedi dgoandv i
sitThandoinLondon.Actuall
ywe
surpri
sedherandshecr i
edbecauseshehadbeen
feel
inghomesickforquit
esomet i
me.Sheshowed
ussomeofherwor kandImustsay ,
shei svery
tal
ented.Youcantellt
hatsheisaCele.InnotimeI
willbeorgani
zi
ngabout i
queforherhereinSouth
Afri
cawher eshecansellherwor
kbecausei t’
s
amazi ng.
.
.

Wegettot
hepalaceandlit
eral
l
yev eryonecomeout
towel
comeus.Iam supposedtogoi ntolabour
tomor
rowandMaShezi t
oldmet ocomebackand
giv
ebir
thi
nthepalacesi
nceroyalkidsarealways
bor
ninsidethepalace,
unl
essi
t’
sreal
l
yan
emergency.Theybombarduswit
hhugs.

MaDlomo: “
owwmybaby .Youl
ooksobeautif
ul.
”I
gi
ggle.Iam wear
ingacutandsewsmackdr essand
sl
eepers.Al
soaheadwr apandascarfacr
ossmy
upperbody.

Me: “
you’r
emocki ngmema.Il ooklikeaballoon.”
That’
strue.Fr
om asize42t oasize46.WhenI
devel
opedst r
etchmarksIactual
lycriedbutNoma
andLeecomf ortedme.Theyactuall
ymademef eel
socomf ort
ablewithmybodybecauseatt i
mesI
di
dn’tevenwannagetnakedi nfrontofKuhle.But
nowIjustlovemybody ,exceptf
orthebabyf at
.

MaMolef
e:“Ihaveprepar
eddel
i
cioususunophut
hu
anduj
eqejustincaseyouar
enotfeel
ingusu.
”
Me:“
yay!Let
’sgoi
nsi
de.
”Theyl
aughandwehead
i
nsi
dethehouse.Wegotot
heloungeandMaMol
efe
bri
ngsmef ood.Themaidst
akeourbagst
othe
bedroom.Ist ar
teati
ng.“
Howist
hehospit
aland
centerpr
ojectgoing?”

Mkhul
uli
:“v
erywell
sisi
.Thepeopl
ear
esohappy
t
hatyoudoingt
hisfort
hem.”
Me: “Iwannamakel i
feeasierf
ort hem.Ihaveheard
thattheservi
cedeliv
eryatthecurrenthospi
tali
sso
poor.Therehastobemobi lecli
nics.Imeanold
peoplecan’tkeepgoingtothecli
ni csandhospi
tal
fortheirmeds.Butwewi l
ltal
kaboutt hataf
ter
openingthehospital
.”

MaDl
omo: “
youaredoi
ngwhatwecoul
dn’
tdof
or
manyyear
s.Youarei
ndeedaGod’
ssent
.”
Me: “
Iknowsomet i
mesy oucanwishtodo
somethingbutthendon’thaveenough
encouragementfrom peoplesur
roundingyou.WellI
havesomanyv oicesinmyheadwhi chencourage
met odobetter
,so.”Ishrugandtheylaugh.
Si
mingezwi
:“Idi
dn’
ttakey
ouf
oracr
azyl
ady
.”
Me:“
wellnowyouknow.”Theylaughagain.It’
s
al
waysgoodbeingathome.Kuhle’
sbrothersare
cr
azyandther
eisneveradull
momentwi t
ht hem.

Wechi ll
andt al
kaboutal otofthings.Weev enpl
ay
videogamesatt hebasement .Mabuthot aughtme
howt oplaythem sothatIcanbeatKuhl e.Wellheis
unbeat ablebutatleastIam notcl uel
ess.Thereis
thisnewgamehecr eatedwhi chhasmost l
ySouth
Af r
icanact or
sassuper heroes.Iti
ssocool andI
l
ov epl ayi
ngit.

WhenIam t ir
ed,Iheadtomyroom totakeanap.
Ev ennowIstil
lhavemiddayandaft
ernoonnapsbut
theyarelongernow.Igettomyroom anddri
ftt
o
sleepassoonasmyheadhi t
sthepil
low.
.
.
*
**KUHLE*
**
Iam wokenupbymywi femoaningandgroaning.
Sheissitti
ngonthecouchandshei ssweat
inglike
crazy
.Iclimboffthebedandgetdressedquickl
y.I
knowt hatshei
sinlabournow.Igoandsquati n
fr
ontofher .

Me:
“howf
arar
eyoucont
ract
ions?
”
Fut
hy:
“10mi
nut
esapar
t.
”Inod.
Me:
“getupandl
et’
sgot
othedel
i
ver
yroom.
”

Futhy:“
Idon’
tthinkIcanwalk.Iam inpain.
”Igoand
openthedoor.Ithencomeandpi ckherupandtake
hertothedel
iveryroom.Iguessev er
yonehas
wokenupbecausewhenIt urn,Iseemymot her
s
enter
ingthedeli
veryroom.

MaDubazane:“
areyouokayMel a?
”sheshakesher
head.“
Gonowmyson.Wewi l
lcal
lyouagai
nwhen
weneedyou.”Anot
hertr
adit
ioninourfamil
yist
hat
ever
ypregnantf
emaledeli
verst
hroughwaterbir
th.I
headoutandgotothelounge.Mybrother
s,f
ather
anduncl
esjoinme.

Nqaba:
“it
’sr
aini
ngout
side.
”
Mkhulul
i:
“andi
t’
sshowi
ngsi
gnsoft
hunderand
l
ight
ning.
”
Sbo:“
that’
swhathappenswhenaf i
rstbor
nisbor
n.
Ther
ewi l
lbever
yhardthunderandl
ightni
ng.
”

Wesi tdownandt hemai dsserveuswhi skey.Ij

ust
optforcoff
ee.IcringewhenIheadmywi fe’
s
screamsandcr i
es.Ir eal
lywishtobebyhersi deat
thisti
mebutIshoul dn’tbethere.It
’sanother
tradi
ti
on.Hoursandhour sofscreami ngandcr y
ing,
thecriesdi
edown.Bynowr ainisfall
inghardand
thethunderi
smaki ngsomuchnoi sewhi let
he
l
ightni
ngiskeepingev er
yoneont heirtoes.

Iheardi
stantcr
iesofi
nfant
sandIl
i
ter
all
yrunt
othe
del
iv
eryroom.Igetthereandfi
ndmyKaMahl aba
andMaDlomocar r
yingtwoinf
ants.MaSheziand
MaDubazanearehelpingmywifeoutofthebatht
ub.

MaMol ef
e:“carryhert
ot hebedsot hatIcanstich
herup.”MaMol efeisami dwif
eorwasami dwifebut
stoppedworkingwhenshemar r
iedmyf at
her.Igoto
mywi feandcar r
yhertot hebed.Iplaceheronthe
bed.Sheseemst obeslowlylosingconsci
ousness.

Me:
“shei
slosi
ngconsci
ousness.
”
MaMol ef
e:“l
etmeatt
endtoherqui
ckl
y.
”Shedoes
hert
hing.IgotoKaMahl
abaandMaDlomo.

Me:
“what
’st
hegender
?”
MaDl
omo:
“aboyandagi
rl
.Doy
ouwantt
oname
t
hem?”
Me:
“wewi
l
lwai
tfort
hei
rmot
her
.CanIhol
dthem?
”
KaMahl
aba:
“onl
yforaf
ewseconds.Weneedt
o
cl
eananddr
esst
hem upcomf
ort
abl
y.
”

Me: “
okayma. ”Itaket hebabyinherarmsandmy
motherhandsmet heotherone.Onebabyl ooks
exactl
ylikemewhi letheot herl
ooksli
keFut hy.They
havesomesamef eaturesbuttheytookfr
om bot hof
us.IfeeltearsfalldownmycheeksandIdon’ teven
tr
ytost opt hem.Thi sisahappymomentf orme.I
am holdingmyowncr eat i
on,mybloodinmyhands
andIcoul dn’tbehappi er.ThankyouMaCelef orthis
wonder f
ul gif
t.You’resuchaphenomenal woman.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby

Thankyousomucht othosewhohavealready
subscr
ibed.Keeponsubscr
ibi
ngbahl
ali
CHAPTER90

*
**FUTHY*
**
IwakeupandIl ookaround.Seemsl ikeIam i
na
hospital
room.Butthi
slooksl i
kenoor di
nar
yr oom.
Andt henithi
tsme.Iam atthepalaceandthisi st
he
deli
veryroom.Bit
sandbitsofwhathappenedl ast
nightcomesbackandIsmi leal i
tt
lewhenI
rememberdel i
ver
ingmybabi es.WhenIam aboutt o
situp,Nompilomakesherwayi nsidemywar d.

Nompil
o:“
eveningsi
si.Letmehelpyousi
tup.
”she
comesandadjustst
hebedandt henput
sanextr
a
pi
ll
owonmyback.“ Howar ey
ou? ”
Me:
“numb.I
t’
sal
readyev
eni
ng?
”
Nompi
l
o:“
yesandy
ourpar
ent
sandsi
bli
ngsar
e
her
e.”Ismi
l
e.
Me:“t
hat’
sgoodt
oher
e.Butwher
ear
emybabi
es?
”
shechuckl
es.

Nompilo:“
ofcoursetheyarethefi
rstpeopleI
shoul
d’vetol
dy ouaboutt
hemi nut
eIent er
edthe
ward.Wellmom isbathi
ngthem.Shei sgoingto
bri
ngthem hereassoonast heyar
edr essed.
”
Me:
“Ial
soneedt
obat
h.If
eel
sost
ickyandal
l
.”

Nompilo:“
okayletmehelpyouup.”shehelpsmeof
f
thebed.Mybodyf eel
ssoheavy.Ibat
handchange
i
ntoawar m ni
ghtgown.Ithenr
eturntot
hebedand
Ismil
ewhenIseemom si tti
ngonachairinsi
det
he
ward.
Me:“makaLwandl
e.”Shesmi
l
esandst
andsup.She
comestohugme.
Mom:
“howar
eyoubaby
?”
Me:“Iam deadt
ir
edma.
”Igot
othebedandl
i
e
down.
Mom:“
youshoul
dbe.Imeany oupushedoutt
wo
bi
gZul
uheadsonyourown.Thati
stiri
ngbaby
.”
Kuhle:
“ahhmybabi
esdon’
thavebi
gheadsma.
”He
saysenter
ingt
hewar
dwithtwobabi
esi
nhisar
ms.
Mom laughs.

Mom:
“tr
uthhur
ts.
”Shest
andsupandheadsout
.
Kuhl
e:“heymommy .”Hesayshandingmeonebaby
whoiswearingpink.Shei
ssobeaut if
ul.Shei
s
pout
ing.It
akeherintomyar msandsmi l
ewhenshe
yawns.Sheisli
keanangel.Soperfect.

Me:“hel
lomyprincess.”Ikissbot
hhercheeksand
sheopenshereyes.“Shehasmyey es.
”Ibeam with
j
oyandexcit
ement .Iknowmyey esareweirdbutmy
babyhavi
ngthem meanst heworldtome.“Zobuhle
kamamakhelona.”Ikissherpoutyli
psandshe
openshermouth.“Aww.I smypr i
ncesshungry?”
Kuhle:
“yes.Youshouldfeedher
.”Ifeedherand
whenshei sdone,Ibur
pher.Kuhletakesherand
handsmet heotherbabywhoisdr essedi
nblue.
Me:
“wow.Thi
sissowei
rd.
”Hel
aughs.
Kuhl
e:“
howso?
”

Me: “
Zobuhl
elooksl
i
key
ouwhi
l
ethepr
incel
ooks
exactl
yli
keme.”
Kuhl
e:“
theseki
dsar
est
range.
”
Me: “Iam notsurpri
sed.Imeant heirparentsare,
wellal i
tt
lebitnotnormal.
”Hel aughsagai n.Ikiss
mypr inceandheopenshi seyes.Hel ooksso
handsomeandpeacef ul.“
Wemakebeaut ifulbabi
es
shame.Wedeser veandawar d.”Hel aughs.
“Manel i
sikamamakhendzena. ”Ikisshi smout h
repeatedlyandhel i
ckshisli
ps.Ilaugh.

Kuhle:
“Zobuhl
eandManel i
si.Il
i
ter
all
ydon’
thave
secondnamesandt hepensi
onersgaveusfr
eedom
tonameourchil
drenfreel
y.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me: “
Zobuhl
eLiyanaZulubecauseitwasraining
whenshewasbor n.Manel
i
siNkosiyaboZulu
becauseheisgoingtobethei
rkinginthefuture.
”

Kuhl
e:“
beaut
if
ulnamesmyqueen.
”Ismi
l
e.
Me:
“wel
lIai
mtopl
easemyki
ng.
”
.
.
Wear enowsi t
tingwi ththewhol ef amil
yatt he
l
oungeandZwel i i
splayingwithhi sbrotherwhile
Amahleisplayingwi thhersisterwhoi si nLisa’
s
arms.It’
sthefollowingdayandt hef amilyisgoi
ngto
havesomeki ndofacel ebrat
oryf east,welcoming
thetwinsint
othewor ld.

KaMahlaba:
“soyoubot
hcameupwi
thsuch
beaut
if
ulnames?
”
Me:
“wedi
dma.
”
Kuhl
e:“
act
ual
l
yshedi
d.Iwoul
dlov
etot
akepar
tthe
cr
editbutmywif
ei ssuchageni
usi
nal
laspect
sof
l
if
e.”Ibl
ushandlookdown.

Sbo:
“ncooh.Newmommyi
sbl
ushi
ng.
”
Ki
ng:
“leav
emydaught
eral
oneSi
bongi
seni
.”
Sbo:
“your
eal
l
ydidn’
thav
etocal
lmebymyf
ull
namedad.
”Hesaysandwel
aughathi
m.

Noma:
“tasemaywehav
eawor
dwi
thy
ou?
”
Me: “ohhokay .”Istandupandl eadthem t
othe
sitt
ingr oom.Theyat t
ackmewi thagrouphugas
soonaswer eacht hesitti
ngroom.Ihearsnif
fsandI
alsof eel myownt earsr ol
li
ngdownmycheeks.
“Guy sst opmakingmeemot ional.
”Isaybr
eaki
ngthe
hugandwi pi
ngmyt ears.

Lee:“wear ejustsohappyf oryou.Youhavebeen

blessedwi thsomuchi nli
fethatwewoul dn’tbe
shockedi fyouwer et
or et
ir
e.”Ilaughwhil
ewi pi
ng
myt ears.“Lastyeart
histi
mewewer epart
yingand
havi
ngnocareint
heworl
d.Wedidn’tev
enthinkt
hat
oneofuswouldbemar
ri
edthefoll
owingyearbut
her
eweare.”

“Youaresuchani nspir
ati
on.Lookaty ouinspir
inga
thi
rt
yyearoldwomanandy ourbestfr
iendt odo
moreinli
fe.Becauseofy ouIwannadomor ethan
j
ustbeat herapist
.Iwannahav eorganizat
ionsall
overSouthAfricawhichhelppeoplewiththeir
mentalhealt
hpr obl
emsf orfr
ee.Iwannadomor e.I
wannahav eabi dimpactonthesociety.”

Noma: “
Ihavedeci dedtobr anchoutmyl awf ir
m.I
am lookingintoplacesinVenda, Lesotho,Maf i
keng,
Swaz i
landandBl oemf ontein.Al
lthisi
sbecauseof
you.Youmaket hingshappensof lawl
esslyandeasy.
Peoplemayt hi
nkit’smagi cbutweknowt hatyou
dedicateyoursel
finf i
nishingaprojectoncey ou
star
tit.”

“
Youi
nspi
repeopl
efr
om t
eenst
opensi
oner
s.You
aregoal sandthefactthatyouaren’tr
estingaf t
er
mar ry
ingi nt
oroy
altyissuchat ur
noni tself.Welove
yousomuchandweknowt hatyouarenowa
mot herandawi f
e.Wear enotgoingtobebi t
chy
abouty ounotbeingthereforusbecauseweknow
thatyoul oveusandifitwereupt oyou, y
ouwoul d
bether eforus24/7.”Inodandwi pemyt ears.

“Iwantyout onotf orgety oursel

f.Youareamot her
andawi feandapr incessbutf ir
styouareFuthy.
Don’tneglectyourselfbecauseofy ourot
herduties.
Learntobal anceev eryt
hingsot hatyouwon’tendup
withregr
et sinthenearf uture.”

Lee:“
wej
ustl
ovey
ousomucht
ase.
”Isqueeze
them.
Me: “
Iloveyousomuchandt hanky ouforal
ways
beingthereforme.Thanky ouforremindi
ngme
what’simportantinmylifewhenwewer esti
lli
n
varsi
ty.Thanky oufornotlaughingatmyv i
sionand
dreams, f
ornotseeingthem asf arfet
chedand
delusi
onal
.Thankyouforbei
ngmypil
l
arintough
ti
mesandt hankyouforj
ustbei
ngmyfri
ends
becauseIwouldn’
ttr
adeyouguysf
ornothi
ng.Il
ove
you.”

Noma:
“wel
ovey
out
oot
ase.
”
Lee:
“andwewoul
dn’
taskf
orabet
terf
ri
end.
”

Kuhleandmybabi esmaybet hemostimportant

peopleinmyl i
fer i
ghtnowbutLi ndel
waand
Nomal angawi llalwaysbemyr i
deordiebit
ches,my
non-bloodrelatedsisters,mybestfri
ends,mypil
lars
andmosti mpor tant
lymyf ri
ends.Havi
ngfri
endslike
theseinthislifetimei spri
cel
essbecauseyouknow
thatnomat terwhat , t
heyalwayshaveyourbackand
youhav etheirs.Theywi ll
alwaysbeloyalt
oy ou,
no
mat t
erwhat .TOFRI ENDSHIPANDEVERLASTI NG
LOVE.
*
***
*THEEND*
***
*