Fake Slackers 伪装学渣

Mu Gua Huang

0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00
FAKE SLACKERS

伪装学渣
Mu Gua Huang

Chapter 001 - I hear he cheated on the high school entrance exams.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“Next stop, Black Water Street. Please exit through the rear doors.”
The public bus set out from the suburbs of B City, circled around, and slowly turned into
the business district. Streets stretched in all directions and pedestrians bustled about.
The announcer spoke crisply. Unlike the usual Putonghua,¹ the announcer’s words sounded
mechanical, and even the lilt on his last word seemed deliberate.
Xie Yu, who sat in the corner seat of the last row, turned his head to glance in the direction
of the burning sunlight outside the window.
He felt that the temperature in the bus was turned down too low, but he also felt hot.
The bus had already been moving slowly. Now that it was surrounded on all sides by a flow
of people, its speed directly plummeted to that of an old grandpa of a vehicle. It met a red
light and its long body shuddered violently before slowing to a stop.
Xie Yu had his phone in hand. He looked out the window as he waited for the other person
to pick up the phone.
The dial tone sounded for a while before the call finally connected. Familiar background
noise emerged from the speaker, followed closely by a woman’s voice. Her voice was loud
and overpowered the chaos; it was forceful and a little hoarse. She was quarrelling with
someone.
“Who knows when those six shipments of goods will arrive. None of them are reliable. That
lot just makes excuses all day.”
“One moment they say tomorrow, the next, the day after tomorrow. They keep changing it
and in the end they told me even they didn’t know… Fuck it.”
Xie Yu calmly listened to the woman rant.
“Rush, my ass! Now they don’t even take my calls and pull a disappearing act on me. They
must have been pulled out of a dog’s ass. Don’t they know anything? In all of Black Water
Street, who dares annoy me, Xu Yanmei?”
She could yell an entire 800-word mini-essay without pausing to take a breath. Hearing her
cursing get worse and worse, Xie Yu finally said something. “Aunt Mei.”
Instantly, all the cursing stopped.
Xu Yanmei waved her hand at the other people and shut her mouth. She even snuffed out
the cigarette clasped between her fingers without hesitation, pressing its burning end
casually against the corner of the table. She then pointed at the phone on the table that had
unexpectedly connected the call, indicating that the ‘Meeting To Discuss The Six Shipments
That Were Not Delivered On Time’ was adjourned.
After putting out her cigarette, she took down her long legs which she had propped up and
crossed on the cheap office desk. When she spoke next her voice was gentle to a degree the
other people present had never heard before, as if she was a completely different person
from the madwoman whose cursing was as heavy as two tons.
“During lunch we get together to shoot the breeze, nothing much, just for fun. Life’s so
boring. Occasionally cursing is good for the spirit…”
Xie Yu didn’t expose her. He only asked, “What about smoking? Smoking is also good for
you?”
Xu Yanmei, reeking of nicotine, lied through her teeth as she figured he wouldn’t be able to
squeeze himself out through her phone to confirm anyway. “I’m not smoking. After you told
me to stop smoking, I quit. Ah, don’t talk to me about this. If you talk about it I’m worried
I’ll relapse. Don’t provoke me.”
To her credit, she acted well. Who was provoking who?
Xie Yu heard her hoarse smoker’s voice which was getting worse by the day. Only when
cursing people out did her voice suddenly become clear. Even if he had toes for brains, he’d
know whether her words were true or not.
“You’re on break, aren’t you? I heard from your mom a while ago that your last exam was
on the 20th. Why didn’t you reply to my texts?”
Xu Yanmei continued to change the subject: “How did the exams go? I looked on the
internet for a very long time before finding those quotes. All so literary, I nearly hurled
when I found them.”
Don’t be worried when you face the exam paper. As long as you do your best, what you
receive are good results! Let your dreams raise their sails and set sail in the exam hall! Let
your life float in the ocean of knowledge! Little grasshopper, do your best on the exams!
Xie Yu wasn’t sure why he was able to recite this unoriginal message verbatim. It was
cliché, the aphorisms were recognizable at a glance, and it didn’t fit the texting aesthetic of
today’s youth at all.
The bus entered a tunnel, which blocked the burning sun. His surroundings went dark.
Xie Yu was wearing all black and now he was completely immersed in darkness. He leaned
back in the seat and stretched his long legs, which were curled up in the tight space, and
casually smiled. “But you still sent them? You know what my grades are like. What did you
want me to reply? Thanks for the encouragement and I’ll do my best not to be dead last?”
Having rested for less than two minutes, the eldest sister of Black Water Street, Comrade
Xu Yanmei, suddenly heard someone complaining behind her: “Is this a black market shop
or a wholesale market? The prices are so high. This is sabotage.”
“… What did you say?” Having been disturbed, Xu Yanmei didn’t hear Xie Yu’s reply
properly. “It’s too damn noisy. A bunch of idiots came and tried to break things in the shop.
Tomorrow, I’ll go buy a big loudspeaker. I don’t believe I can’t keep this bunch of
grandchildren in line.”
Xie Yu’s fingers tightened slightly on his phone. The words he wanted to say hung on his
lips for a while, but in the end they didn’t make it any further. “It’s nothing.”
“I saw the text. I was busy with revision and forgot to answer.”
“Good, good, good. Although your grades are a little bit bad, don’t be discouraged. You can’t
give up until the end. Who’s afraid of who, right?”
As Xu Yamnei spoke, her voice got louder again. She held the receiver away from her and
yelled at the customers who were still talking about making trouble: “What the hell are you
doing! If someone’s in trouble, it’s you goddamn bastards. Are you buying or not? If not,
quit dawdling!”
The bus emerged from the mouth of the tunnel. Large patches of sunlight began shining
into the bus again, starting from the front of the bus and leading into the back.
Xie Yu narrowed his eyes slightly. Seeing the familiar scenery outside the window, he knew
his stop was coming up.
Today was Monday, the third day of summer vacation and a workday. There weren’t many
people on the bus.
Several students sat in the front row. The girls had their hair in braids and still carried their
satchels properly and obediently, even though they were going out to have fun. Their
clothes were white and clean.
Although Black Water Street was in the shopping district, the prices were down-to-earth
and not expensive, and it couldn’t be termed ‘extravagant’. The buildings in the suburbs
were all of low quality and the houses were run-down. But the cheap costs attracted many
visitors who didn’t have a lot of disposable income, especially first-years in high school.
Xie Yu eyed a glass ornament in a girl’s hair tie, clear with a hint of pink. It glimmered in the
light.
“We’re here, we’re here. Get ready to get off.” The girl tossed her braid and held the railing
as she got up. “I ate the fried nian gao here. I’ll take you there.”
At the same time—
“South Station, Black Water Street. Passengers, please exit through the rear door. Thank
you for your cooperation.”
The bus slowed to a stop. The instant the doors opened, a gust of hot dry wind rushed in.
Xu Yanmei thought she had heard wrongly. “Grasshopper, where are you? Why did I hear
the announcement say Black Water Street?”
Xie Yu stood and got off the bus. “Comrade Xu Yanmei, in about ten minutes I’ll be at the
wholesale market’s front door. Think properly about how you’re going to take care of the
smell of cigarettes and how you’re going to explain it to me. Think about what you
promised me back then, too. Hold your head up when you meet me.”
Xu Yanmei turned and glanced at the ashtray full of cigarette butts on her office desk. “…”
“Mei-jie, what happened? Why the glum face?”
Xu Yanmei pushed open the door and walked out. Rolling up her sleeves, she entered the
warehouse and started helping the shop owners with their work. “Don’t talk about it. I’ll die
from frustration.”
Xu Yanmei operated a clothing wholesale market on Black Water Street. She’d been in the
clothing business for more than ten years. In the beginning, she had put up a stall by the
roadside with several of her friends. Later, it had become a proper shop. In the end, they
took over two floors in the Guang Mao Expo in the middle of Black Water Street—and these
two floors contained more than a hundred small shops which formed a wholesale market.
As the female boss of the wholesale market, Mei-jie’s name was very well known on Black
Water Street.
“You’re frustrated, really? It looks to me like this slight smile of yours isn’t slight at all,” one
of the shop owners said.
Xu Yanmei said, “What nonsense are you saying? Also, do you have perfume or anything
like that? Let me borrow it. Xiao Yu-er is about to get here and I stink of cigarette smoke. If
he catches me, he’ll give me hell.”
The shop owner straightened up and dusted off his trousers: “So it’s that precious son of
yours. Look how scared you are, you’re… I have perfume. Let me go find it for you.”
“How can I not be scared? My Xiao Yu is a good boy.” Xu Yanmei’s voice was very quiet.
With one hand she exerted strength on a small knife to open a bag of wrapping string,
saying to herself, “I can’t lead him astray.”
“… He’s not your biological son anyway. Just your godson, right?”
“What good boy? My son is in the same class as Xie Yu. He’s thorny. To say nothing of his
bad grades, nobody in class dares to share a desk with him. He even seems to be some
school gang leader and mixes with that sort of crowd. Only you, Mei-jie, hold him up like
some kind of treasure and don’t even curse in front of him.”
“I heard he even cheated on the high school entrance exams. If not, with his grades, he’d
only pass if he encountered a ghost. Even though Er Zhong isn’t that good of a school, even
a regular high school² at rock-bottom is still a regular high school.”
“Forget it, don’t talk about it any more. Go back to work.”
By the time Xu Yanmei undid the wrapping string, the group of chatty shop employees had
dispersed. Each stood in front of their stalls, which were a meter wide at most, and started
hawking their wares: “Two for 99, two for 99! If you miss today, come back next year!
Down jackets are out of season and this is a clearance sale!”
“Come over here and take a look! Two for 99!”
Xu Yanmei walked over, a cloud of perfume following her. “I’ll go out for a bit. If anything
comes up, give me a call. If there are idiots who can’t read the room, don’t try to reason
with them, got it? Just yell at them. Reason, my ass. Reason is for humans, not for idiots.”
Xie Yu took a roundabout route, and after visiting three different tchotchke stores he finally
found a loudspeaker with a volume enhancer.
It was red and white and he found it at the bottom of a pile of miscellaneous goods. The
shop owner wanted to show that it still worked even though it was covered with a layer of
dust; he immediately plugged it in and played the song “Damned Gentleness.”
It was indeed very strong. It was so loud it could burst eardrums.
Xie Yu’s ears hurt from the volume. As he dug his money out he said, “All right, that’s
enough. How much is it?”
The shopkeeper was very close to the loudspeaker and he didn’t hear what Xie Yu said at
all. He rubbed at the dust on the loudspeaker with his sleeve and raised his voice to
continue promoting the item with all his might. He was an elderly man and really quite old,
and it was incredible that he could still yell so loudly: “–Durable! If it’s broken, full refund!
Full refund!”
“How much?”
“Quality guaranteed! If there are problems just come to me! This shop is small, won’t
change its line of business, and won’t change its name! Jian Xing Goods!”
“…”
A hand stretched in front of the old man. Slender, fine-boned, well-kept with clean nails.
With a blank face, Xie Yu pressed the on-off switch. It was finally quiet. “How much.”
“Twen… twenty-five.”
The elderly man held up two fingers then five before saying, “Do you want it? If you want it
I’ll wrap it up for you.”
Before Xie Yu could nod, the old man had already picked up a plastic bag and put the
loudspeaker in it. Faster than the eye could see, he pulled several sheets of unknown origin
from a thick stack under the table and stuffed them in the bag, too.
——Women’s clinic. Painless abortion.
——Men’s blessing. Second stick half-off.
Not only did he man a tchotchke store, he also bore the heavy responsibility of giving out
leaflets. Xie Yu had now gained a new understanding of the proactiveness and
professionalism of the people of Black Water Street.
The old man wasn’t done stuffing the bag and tossed another few sheets in. From the
different colors, broadly speaking, the leaflets all seemed to be unique. “Side job, side job. I
respond to the clarion call and strive towards middle-classdom. I work hard in order to
make my fortune… Here’s your change, don’t drop it. Come back again!”

Translation notes:
[1] Putonghua: the standard Mandarin dialect
[2] An academically focused high school track, in contrast to ‘adult high school’ and
‘vocational high school’

Chapter 002 - No one taught you manners? I’ll teach you.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Those flyers covered nearly all walks of employment, from circumcision to microfinancing
— everything one could want. There were even ads for locksmiths, miracle Traditional
Chinese Medicine practitioners, private detectives, professional exam-takers….
Xie Yu pulled them straight out and tossed them in the garbage bin. When he reached the
last flyer, he saw written on top: Mystery Game, inflaming your passion! Big brother, ah~
come~
The tildes were so flirtatious they could break through the heavens. Xie Yu was just about
to toss it out when he heard someone loudly call out from behind him, “Damn brat.” Xie
Yu’s hand jerked and his train of thought was broken. Reflexively he stuffed the flyer into
the pocket of his pants.
Xu Yanmei rubbed her hands together: “You found the time to come see me?”
The first thing Xie Yu did upon seeing her was to pass her the black plastic bag, then swiftly
retreat several steps. But he hadn’t escaped in time: “What is that smell on you? Toilet air
freshener? What are you doing spraying that for no reason??”
“Like hell it’s toilet air freshener. Damn it, this is a woman’s scent.” She’d put on about half
a bottle of perfume.
She opened the plastic bag. She froze for a couple of seconds when she saw the contents: “I
was just saying, and you really got me a big megaphone. How does this work? Is this the on
switch?”
A vein in Xie Yu’s temple jumped with a pop. “Don’t press that. It’ll make noise.”
Too late. Xu Yanmei had already pressed down on the red button like a child who had just
received a new toy. The song that hadn’t finished playing in the convenience store now
blared out from the speakers, forceful and enduring.
Xu Yanmei was a little stunned. “Damn, it’s this loud?”
“Quick, turn it off,” Xie Yu said. “And that voice of yours. You really don’t notice? The
smoking… just smoke, then”
Xu Yanmei: “It’s not like that… With this strong constitution of mine, I’ll still fight on for the
next three hundred years at least.”
Xie Yu was silent as he observed her. He noticed at once that her right hand was supporting
the side of her waist, as if unconsciously. Due to long years of hard labor, Xu Yanmei’s back
wasn’t doing well. Every day she had to stick on a medicinal patch or she else might be in so
much pain that she wouldn’t be able to get out of bed.
“Strong. You really dare say that.”
Xu Yanmei noticed Xie Yu’s gaze and immediately lowered her hand. Who knew how much
truth was in what she said as she smoothly ran outside: “My back is fine. Speaking of which,
last time you asked me to go to the hospital for an examination. I went. It went well. The
doctor said it wasn’t a major problem.”
Xie Yu walked toward the Guang Mao Expo as he listened. He wore an ordinary, even
somewhat cheap, black T-shirt—Xu Yanmei had bought it for him. She often sent him
clothes: if she saw something suitable, she’d buy it, and after accumulating enough, she
would send them over in a big cardboard box about half the height of a person.
He stuck both hands in his pockets. His sleeves were folded up several times and revealed
his slender wrists. His hair was medium length and it looked soft to the touch, curling
naturally due to how fine it was, and giving him a cold, fierce look.
He asked: “How many truckloads of merchandise are shipping today?”
Xu Yanmei was forty-plus years old, and usually she was busy with receiving and sending
shipments of goods. All day she had to keep her eye on this and that; the riff-raff who
messed up the store and caused trouble were all hers to deal with, so she didn’t have much
time to take care of herself. Her hair was still in the same perm she had gotten last New
Year’s. Without maintenance, it now looked like messy instant noodles, dry and yellowing.
From her features it was easy to see the beauty of her youth, but time spares no one.
If she were tossed into a crowd, she would only be a middle-aged woman, extremely
ordinary, to the point that one might suspect that the glimpse of former beauty one could
see in her features was simply imagined.
“Eighteen truckloads. Even though it’s summer, I still have to keep an eye on the autumn
fashions, otherwise the suppliers might not have enough time to finish the orders when the
time comes.” Now that the subject had come around to work, Xu Yanmei unconsciously
reached for her pocket, hoping to find a cigarette to satisfy her craving. But she only found
a lighter and no cigarette.
Xie Yu asked, “Do you have enough help?”
”Enough, enough. No need for you to bother,” Xu Yanmei said. “I still haven’t settled the
score from last time when you arrived out of nowhere to help over here.”
Xie Yu had coincidentally found out that she had thrown out her back while moving goods.
He had skipped a day of class and by the time she found him, he had already blended in
among the workers and helped move four or five truckloads of goods. He had changed out
of his school uniform and was sweating all over.
This had been when business at the wholesale market wasn’t good; only in the last half
year had things gotten better, so the fewer workers she could employ to move goods, the
fewer she employed. Managing two floors of Guang Mao was effort enough, so of course she
would think about how to reduce costs.
The two stood in the elevator, and their proximity made the scent of perfume that was like
air freshener curdle into something even more intense. This service elevator might also
have been used to transport meat because, aside from the overpowering perfume scent,
there was also the faint smell of rotting fish.
Xu Yanmei asked: “Did you grow taller again?”
Xie Yu said: “Almost 1.8 meters now.”
Xu Yanmei eyed him up and down, wanting to smile and frown at the same time. “You’ve
lost weight.”
The elevator opened and Xie Yu walked out. Xu Yanmei was still fixated on the ‘lost weight’
part: “Remember to eat your regular three meals a day. Young people nowadays go on diets
at the drop of a hat. Don’t get obsessed with it… Eh, why did you stop?
Xie Yu stood in front of her, blocking her entire field of vision so she couldn’t see anything.
“What is it? What happened?”
Xie Yu didn’t give her a chance to see what was happening ahead.
He just pushed Xu Yanmei back into the elevator and swiftly and cleanly hit the door close
button.
His reaction was fast—so fast that even the group of ill-intentioned-looking guys didn’t
have time to react. By the time they realized what was happening, the elevator doors were
already closing.
“Fuck.” The guy at the front wore a fierce expression. A gold chain encircled his neck and he
ripped a cigarette from between his teeth, tossing it casually by his foot as he walked
forward, cursing. “——Xu Yanmei, you damn bitch, you fucking stop right there!”
He was the only person who reacted quickly enough—the other guys hadn’t even realized
that the woman they were looking for was about to slip away right in front of their eyes.
The man with the gold chain waved one big hand, his rage unstoppable: “What are you all
standing there for? Get her! All of you just standing around and watching the show. You!
Quick, go down the stairs over there and catch her!”
The elevator doors were already half-closed. Xie Yu lowered his voice and said quickly, “Go
down first. Bring people back here.”
Xu Yanmei caught a glimpse of the man’s face through the elevator doors. There were too
many things she wanted to say but time was tight so she hurriedly yelled, “Xie Yu!”
Xie Yu looked at her: “Aunt Mei, listen to me.”
He only looked at her for a moment before the gap between the doors disappeared as they
closed firmly shut and the elevator carrying her descended.
A mop stood beside the elevator, probably forgotten there by a janitor who had finished
their work. Xie Yu grabbed it, lifted one foot, and stepped on the mop head. He exerted
strength and ripped the whole wooden handle out.
Brandishing the wooden stick, Xie Yu raised his head to look at them: “What do you want?”
He knew this lot.
Black Water Street was full of gangsters who caused trouble up and down the street in the
name of collecting protection fees. This man in front of him was Hu-ge—word had it that he
had been released from jail a few months ago. According to him, he was locked up because
he had almost stabbed someone to death. Unbelievable bluster. Regardless of how he
touted it, no one really cared about what the truth of the matter really was.
Hu-ge managed to scrape a living by collecting protection fees and enjoyed being respected
as the ‘big brother’ by underlings who didn’t know any better. Until he met Xu Yanmei.
Everything started with just one event: he had fallen for her.
Xu Yanmei was quite beautiful, and her personality was forceful and ardent.
She had just one flaw: she was ungrateful. Over and over she had rejected him… really, she
didn’t know a good thing when she saw it.
At this point, Hu-ge’s eyes darkened. “Brat, mind your own business.”
Xie Yu still didn’t react. The shop employees, who had shrunk into a corner and were too
afraid to make a sound, had their hearts in their throats. This was their first time
encountering such a matter. This lot had walked in like they owned the place and started
breaking things; one could tell at a glance that they weren’t to be trifled with.
They weren’t sure whether to call the cops. Everyone knew the unwritten rules of Black
Water Street: what happens in Black Water stays in Black Water.
Then they saw Mei-jie’s so-called “good boy” standing in the elevator doorway. One against
five. His expression was blank. His hand slipped out of his pocket and beckoned lightly to
the group of people. It was impossible to tell if it was a challenge or if he really didn’t care.
“You really want to die so much you’ve come to daddy’s door? No time for bullshit. Come
on, all at once.”
”……”
Hu-ge didn’t want to admit that, for an instant, he was cowed by this boy who looked like
he was still in school.
The glint in the kid’s eye was dark, chilling, like being dumped in a cold water bath. He
looked at them like he was looking at a pile of shit—all in all, it definitely wasn’t the gaze of
a hothouse flowerbud.
Hu-ge was really getting angry and began to posture out of habit. He pulled aside his collar.
“So young and already so full of hot air. Do you know who I am? Go out and ask around. Is
there anyone who sees me, Hu-ge, and doesn’t show respect? …See this? This scar on my
neck? This is from a fight with the prison guards. You brat, you don’t even have facial hair,
what do you care about that bitch? What is this, huh? Fighting me? Copying other people
and trying to fight? Just with that little wooden stick, you think—”
Without another word Xie Yu stretched out and caught Hu-ge by the collar, drawing
intimidatingly close. His knee crashed brutally into Hu-ge’s stomach and swiftly, after he
trapped Hu-ge’s elbow with his hand, he pulled Hu-ge to him without giving even a second
of leeway.
It was a very elegant shoulder throw, neat and clean. If the atmosphere weren’t so tense,
the bunch of shopkeepers in the back might even have applauded and cheered.
Hu-ge was knocked to the ground so hard his vision went dark and he couldn’t speak a
word.
But Xie Yu wasn’t going to let him off so easily. He dragged the guy up from the floor again
and pushed him against the steel doors of the elevator with a thud. His fingers tightened
around Hu-ge’s neck!
“So arrogant. You think jail time is a man’s badge of honor?”
Hu-ge reacted. He raised his leg and was about to kick but Xie Yu firmly hit the offending
leg with the stick. Hu-ge’s calf twitched uncontrollably and the moment Xie Yu let go he fell
heavily onto the ground, one hand propping himself up while the other clutched his
stomach as he dry heaved. “…Fuck.”
“Who did you call a bitch.” Hu-ge’s eyes were wide as he looked at Xie Yu’s face, which
could be called beautiful, gradually drawing closer. The youth’s face was brimming with
violent intent and about to overflow. Compared to this outstanding beauty, he was even
more surprised by the chilly, sharp aura emanating from the person in front of him.
Xie Yu repeated his earlier question, tamping down on his anger, his voice low. “Who did
you call a bitch?”
Hu-ge said nothing.
”If no one taught you how to behave, I’ll teach you.” Xie Yu kicked the pile of rubbish with
the tip of his foot.
The few guys behind Hu-ge looked back and forth for a few moments, all seeing hesitation
in each other’s eyes. Then, in unspoken unison, they turned and ran.
“Now we’re really finished. What should we do?”
The taller one asked as he ran, “Should we call the police?”
”Call the police, my ass!” the other one said. “If we do that, how can we do business here in
the future?”
Gu Xuelan was taking afternoon tea when she got the call from the police station.
The woman removed her silk shawl. She wore a haute couture lace dress underneath, well-
tailored to her curves and unspeakably elegant. Two dark flowers were discreetly
embroidered at the hem of the skirt. Her ankles were slender and pale like bright jade.
Carefully styled long hair fell on either side of her face. She smiled as she listened to the
rich women opposite her chatting about the winter fashions they had their eyes on
recently, occasionally putting in a word or two: “Madam Chen, since you like it so much,
maybe you could fly over and buy it…”
“Madam, a call for you.”
Gu Xuelan turned away. Her finger rested on the ceramic cup and she asked casually, “Who
called?”
The person held up the phone, unsure whether or not to answer. After several seconds of
hesitation, he bent at the waist to Gu Xuelan’s ear and said in a low voice only they could
hear: “Po-police station. The second young master fought with someone and it was pretty
serious. The other side is demanding that we pay the medical bills. Madam, what do you
think we should do about this? Send someone to take a look?”
Gu Xuelan’s expression changed with a whoosh.

Chapter 003 - …What street are you from?

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The Public Security Bureau of B City, Black Water Town.
“You’re Xie Yu’s guardian?”
“I’m his mother.” Gu Xuelan stood in the police station, clearly out of her element. “Is he all
right? Is he injured? How much are the medical bills? I’ll pay anything, as long as you can
release him right away.”
The policewoman didn’t even raise her head. With a well-practiced movement, she plucked
a piece of paper from a folder to her right and slapped it on the table: “Forget about that for
now and fill out this form first.”
After a while the policewoman finished the work at hand, capped her pen, and looked up.
“Your son’s quite something. One against five, and all the injuries he inflicted were internal.
No one would notice they’re injured without a hospital examination. ”
Gu Xuelan froze, unsure how she should react.
The policewoman gave her a once-over and asked casually, “You two aren’t from around
here, are you?”
Gu Xuelan said: “We… are from A City.”
This fighting incident of Xie Yu’s wasn’t serious. Although the guys who called the cops had
blathered on about how their big brother had been bullied, held down on the ground, and
violently beaten, the cops taking their statements all had their doubts.
They had received countless police reports and this was the first time they had met
‘victims’ like this: with multicolored mohawks, pierced ears and noses, reeking of smoke,
and arms covered with loud tattoos—a black dragon on the left, a white tiger on the right.
And the ID numbers they provided—after checking, the officers found out that they were
all delinquent youth with a record.
“Everything you said here is the truth?”
“The truth, definitely the complete truth. Our big brother still can’t even stand up.”
So they turned their gazes back to the man with the hateful face and the gold “dog chain”
around his neck. The man was clutching his stomach, muttering nonstop, “Hurts to death,
ah you hey… bullying a decent man, now? Why are kids these days like that… hurts, hurts,
hurts. Even hurts to talk.”
Gu Xuelan filled in the form and signed her name in the lower right corner.
The policewoman said, “Alright, wait here. Your son’s still giving his statement.”
Gu Xuelan clutched her purse. She didn’t want to tarry too long. “Still giving his statement?”
She had immediately rushed over from A City after getting the call; it was a full two hours’
car ride away.
The policewoman looked at her: “The statements from both sides don’t match up.”
In the interrogation room.
Xie Yu repeated for the third time: “I didn’t hit him.”
In the past two hours—neither a long nor short time—Hu-ge had personally experienced
the twists and turns of life, and what it was like to be utterly down on his luck. The brat in
front of him, who was just in high school, had taught him a lesson—in shamelessness.
He sat opposite Xie Yu. The long table was quite wide and he slapped his hand on the table,
yelling so loudly his shout almost tore through the roof: “—Fuck it all! Officer! He’s lying!”
The policeman wasn’t to be trifled with either. Working in the Black Water Street area,
even the gentlest of personalities would be filed to a sharp edge. “Fuck what fuck? Sit down
properly. What do you think you’re doing?! If you can’t, then get out. Did I say you could
talk?”
Hu-ge reluctantly sat back down.
The policeman turned to look at the ‘fragile youth’ sitting opposite Hu-ge and his voice
softened a fraction. “Xie Yu, was it? Don’t be afraid. With us here, he wouldn’t dare do
anything to you.”
Xie Yu said, quietly and timidly and also politely: “Thank you, uncle officer.”
Hu-ge was so mad he almost leapt across the table to tear apart Xie Yu’s fake mask. “Don’t
fucking put on an act! I’m the one who got beaten up! I’m the victim!”
The policeman slapped the table with a folder. “If you make any more noise you can get out!
Look at how you’re scaring the kid!”
Xie Yu obligingly flinched, pretending that he was being frightened by the mafia. Although
he wasn’t especially attentive to his acting, the effect was unmistakable.
Fake, it’s all fake! You’re blind!
Hu-ge internally screamed.
What kind of devil is he! So young and he already knows how to put on a sheepskin!
This is very clearly a damn wolf!
When Xie Yu left, night had already fallen. He hadn’t had to take any responsibility and had
gotten off scot-free.
Under the embellishments of the wholesale market aunties, Hu-ge’s crimes were set in
stone and his injuries were accepted as “only the devil knows who beat him up or where.”
He had to pay five hundred bucks out of his own pocket and write a statement deeply
reflecting on his activities, swearing never to bring trouble to the people of Black Water
Street again, and promising to turn over a new leaf and start anew.
Hu-ge’s butt stuck up into the air as he lay on the table. A Xinhua dictionary lay beside his
hand; when he didn’t know how to write a word, they made him look it up. They didn’t let
him write in pinyin.
This was the most humiliating experience of his life.
When Xie Yu walked out, Hu-ge called out to stop him.
The police officer held a baton in his hand, fully prepared. He warned loudly: “Chen
Xionghu! What are you trying to do?”
“I’m not trying anything. You’re right there holding me down. What can I do? I just want to
say something to him.” Hu-ge eyed Xie Yu and asked, not giving up, “What street are you
from?”¹
Xie Yu stopped walking and looked at him with a complicated expression which could be
distilled down to, ‘looking at an idiot’.
Hu-ge repeated once more, not giving up: “What street exactly are you from?!” He felt that
the underground forces behind this person were deep and unfathomable. He had to know
which god he had offended this time; if he were to die, he wanted to understand why.
Under Hu-ge’s burning gaze, Xie Yu languidly opened his mouth: “Me? I follow the path of
socialism with Chinese characteristics.”²
Hu-ge: “……”
A familiar silver Bentley was parked outside the police station. Gu Xuelan sat in the car and
her profile could be faintly seen through the window.
Xie Yu got in the car. “Mom.”
Gu Xuelan said nothing.
Xie Yu followed up: “Actually, you didn’t need to come over today. I know how to clean up.”
That Hu-ge—from the start, Xie Yu had known he was just posturing. A real villain wouldn’t
keep blathering on proudly about how he’d ‘been to jail;’ more than that, a real villain
wouldn’t have gotten drunk and only dared to go over to Guang Mao when it was
temporarily deserted. Finally, he was even stupid enough to call the police himself.
Silence hung in the air. When the car had traveled some distance, Gu Xuelan said: “You still
remember that I’m your mom? What did you come all the way out here for? Even the police
said you weren’t the one who beat him up… it was you who beat him up though, wasn’t it.”
Xie Yu leaned back in the seat and said in an indifferent tone: “It was me who beat him up.
Did I embarrass you?”
Gu Xuelan’s hand tightened its grip on the plush seat cover, her knuckles showing. After a
pause, she said harshly, “Yes, you embarrassed me! If you know it’s embarrassing then stop
doing these embarrassing things!”
In the front, the driver sighed and interceded: “Second young master, don’t talk back to
madam. Madam was worrying about you the whole time on the way here. She was so afraid
something had happened to you.”
Xie Yu wanted to say, don’t call me second young master. I’m not your Zhong family’s
second young master.
Every time he heard those three words he felt thoroughly uncomfortable, like he was being
forced to wear an ill-fitting outfit that wrapped around his neck so he couldn’t breathe.
Gu Xuelan calmed down and changed the subject. “I found several tutors for you. Starting
tomorrow until school starts back up. Don’t go anywhere, just stay at home and study hard.
You know best what your grades are like.”
Xie Yu said: “No need. My grades are just like that. Don’t waste your time.”
Gu Xuelan: “I arranged for you to go overseas and you didn’t want to. You stayed in the
country, but now look at what you do all day. Just like a pile of wet mud that can’t even be
used to patch up a wall. Tell me, what are you going to do?!”
The car slowly entered the underground garage. This was a private bungalow surrounded
by green hills and blue water. It had rained several days ago and the humidity hadn’t
cleared. Wet air rushed toward his face.
Xie Yu opened the car door and got out, replying, “My own matters—I know what I’ll do
about them.”
Gu Xuelan was infuriated beyond endurance by his attitude. The driver coaxed, “He’s in his
rebellious phase. He’s a boy, it’s inevitable. Edges sharp enough to cut. My boy was like that
before, too. After it’s over, it gets better. He’ll come around.”
Gu Xuelan sat in the car. She rubbed her temple and couldn’t say a word.
——You’re really something, Boss Xie. You said you’d come to see me and you went to the
police station instead. I’m really so damn touched.
——Are you out of the station yet? Do you need the guys to come bail you out?
The message was from Lei-zi.
Xie Yu looked down and read his messages as he entered the house.
He was busy changing and didn’t have the time to type, so he just called instead.
At this time of day Lei-zi should still be helping out at the barbecue stall.
As expected, when the call connected it wasn’t Lei-zi’s voice that first reached his ear but an
unknown voice saying, “Another ten sticks of lamb.”
“Coming right up, table three, ten sticks of lamb.”
Lei-zi pulled off his apron, bent at the waist, and slipped out the back door. “Boss Xie, are
you all right? Are you home? Damn, this police station is so easy to get into. Your temper is
just as explosive as it was ten years ago.”
Xie Yu had just taken off his t-shirt and his upper body was bare. “What could have
happened to me? Also, find someone to keep an eye on that Gou-ge. I’m worried he’ll pester
Aunt Mei again.”
(T/N: Gou-ge: big brother Dog. He forgot Hu-ge (Big bro Tiger)’s name.)
“Gou-ge?” Lei-zi thought about it for a bit and came to a realization. “You mean that Hu-ge?”
Xie Yu: “Same difference.”
Lei-zi: “It’s a very big difference.”
Lei-zi kept asking: “You were always like that, couldn’t remember people’s names. Do you
still remember my name?”
Xie Yu: “Zhou Da Lei. What’s wrong with you?”
“Good that you remember. I keep thinking that with a personality like yours, you might
really have forgotten.”
Lei-zi found a small plastic stool and sat down. He pulled a Chunghwa cigarette from his
pocket and put it in his mouth before continuing, “Aunt Mei doesn’t need my protection.
More like she protects me. At most I’m the little prince of a barbecue stall. She’s the one
with the big reputation, the eldest sister of Black Water Street.”
Xie Yu sensed there was something between the lines. “What?”
“You left early so you didn’t see. Aunt Mei found someone and dug up all his history. All
those things about going to prison and killing someone, it’s all hot air. He just stole
something and was caught by the owner of the house on the spot… I think he won’t be able
to go on ‘doing business’ in Black Water Street. How will the protection fees be nearly as
good now?”
Xie Yu put his phone on his bed and prepared to change his pants.
Lei-zi kept talking. Maybe because it was lonely smoking alone, he suddenly grew
thoughtful: “Thinking about it now, it was very good when the few of us were together. But
I’m happy for you now, too. The Zhong family is doing so well in A City. A branch of the
company has even reached B City. Ever since your mom took you with her when she
married into the family… you don’t have to worry about food or the clothes on your back.
You don’t have to keep running away from debt collectors like before, either.”
Xie Yu didn’t continue to take off his pants any more. He let go and fell onto his bed. The
light hanging from the ceiling was so bright it was dizzying. He wasn’t sure if he was talking
to Lei-zi or himself: “Is that so.”
It was noisy on Lei-zi’s end and he didn’t hear what Xie Yu said at all. He sucked in a final
mouthful of smoke and got up: “Boss Xie, I won’t nag you any longer. Table three is waiting
and, damn it, they dared to smash the table. Careful I don’t scoop out the ashes and rub
them on his face…”
The call cut off.
Xie Yu lay on his bed in a daze.
A moment later he scratched his head and was about to get up and go to shower when he
found a hard little square in his trouser pocket. When he pulled it out he saw it was a flyer
—the flirtatious porn ad he hadn’t thrown away earlier.
Unexpectedly, the material it was promoting wasn’t pornography. He glimpsed three
bolded words in big black font: Question King Tournament.
Xie Yu raised an eyebrow. This bait-and-switch tactic was quite novel.
He turned the flyer over.
On the other side was written: Here are the newest and most complete Olympiad questions,
the most thrilling arena massacres. The questions encompass literature, mathematics,
English, biology, chemistry, and physics. Over a hundred professors painstakingly wrote
these questions. An addictive experience you’ll never expect. No such thing as most
difficult. Only more difficult.
You! Will you be the long-awaited Question King?
Mysterious, isn’t it! Thrilling, isn’t it! Big brother~ ah~ come~
Xie Yu: ……

Translation notes:
[1] ‘what street are you from?’: which gang are you with?
[2] ‘socialism with Chinese characteristics’: Chinese communism

Chapter 004 - Question King Tournament

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
004 – Question King Tournament
Gu Xuelan stepped into the house several moments later. She took off her shawl and
handed it to the maid. “Is dinner ready?”
The maid took the shawl from her. “Just as you instructed, it’s ready. All dishes the second
young master likes. Will you eat now?”
Gu Xuelan’s high heels stepped on the marble floor. The chandelier reflected in the floor
was bright and eye-catching, making it seem as if she was stepping on light. She walked
another two steps then halted. She retreated, turned, and walked in the opposite direction,
leaving behind a sentence: “Go upstairs and call him.”
Xie Yu was in the bathroom, his body thoroughly soaked. Water ran from the top of his
head along the strands of his hair and dripped down, the hot steam misting the glass doors
on all four sides.
The phone he had left beside the sink vibrated.
He shut his eyes and washed away the last of the foam on his body, then heard two knocks
at the door. Immediately after, the maid’s tentative and restrained voice came muffled
through the door. “Second young master, it’s dinner time.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“That… but madam has already…”
Xie Yu opened his eyes and repeated: “I’m not hungry and can’t eat.”
A-Fang had been with the Zhong family less than two years, not a long time. She was still
hesitant when she spoke or did anything, as if afraid of making the smallest mistake. When
she first arrived, even before meeting anyone, she had already heard many rumors about
the Zhong family.
It was said that the original Mrs. Zhong had killed herself. Not even a few years later, Big
Boss Zhong had brought another woman home. The name Gu Xuelan wasn’t recognized by
anyone, and when she came she even dragged an oil container¹ along with her. One big and
one small. The woman sat on Mrs. Zhong’s throne, and fairly securely at that; no matter
how others laughed at her, she hadn’t fallen off.
The Zhong family’s eldest young master was pitiful. Not only had he lost his mother, he now
had to watch someone else enter the house.
When A-Fang went back to deliver Xie Yu’s message, she didn’t know what to say. She stood
next to the table with her head bowed and couldn’t say a word.
Seeing her demeanor, Gu Xuelan understood what had happened. She picked up her
chopsticks. As she spoke, she herself wasn’t sure if she cared as little as she seemed to.
“Whether he wants to eat or not, he’ll get hungry… You may go.”
Xie Yu put on his clothes, his hair still dripping water. He wanted to see how much of that
mysterious game had downloaded, but when he picked up his phone he only saw text
message notifications. At a glance, he couldn’t find the game’s download progress bar at all.
A group chat titled, “Don’t just fight and kill,” showed over 99 push notifications.
[Barbecue Stall Prince – Lei] : My god, he’d better know what’s good for him. If I run into
him again, I’ll beat him up every time I see him.
[Lei’s Dad] Good boy! You have spirit!
[Lei’s Mom]: Beat him until he can’t get up! He’s been so arrogant for these past few
months. He really thought he’s a big brother.
……
Zhou Dalei’s family members were really all alike.
Xie Yu scrolled up. The content was more or less the same.
Hu-ge had already been set straight by everyone’s collective effort, but he still had to
subject his corpse to whipping by the Black Water Street Citizens’ group chat.
Black Water Street had undergone continuous expansion for a few years and people had
come and gone. Many new households had moved in. This chat group mostly consisted of
residents of the old neighborhoods who had been here more than ten years: a few dozen
people who were as close as family.
Lei-zi used to complain to him a lot that ever since this chat group was set up, there was no
privacy at all.
When he skipped class to go to an internet cafe, the internet cafe’s boss had laughed and
said, “The world’s only as big as your courage! I appreciate your courage. You’re not like
the other kids.” Then he turned around and posted an HD portrait of Lei-zi holding the
mouse and logging into the game, and mentioned Lei’s Dad and Lei’s Mom with the
addendum: Your son didn’t go to class and came to play games again!
Lei-zi’s dad and mom had immediately left their work at the stall, barged into the internet
cafe, and chased Lei-zi down three whole blocks.
Xie Yu was drying his hair with a towel when someone mentioned him out of nowhere.
[Barbecue Stall Prince – Lei] @XY, what do you think? I thought about it all night instead of
sleeping and I still think that idiot got off easy.
He just had to drag Xie Yu into it. Would the topic please just end? Xie Yu typed a few words
back.
[XY]: Don’t drag me into this. I’m an upstanding citizen.
[Barbecue Stall Prince – Lei] : ……
[Barbecue Stall Prince – Lei] You’re really shameless. Where were you thinking about being
an upstanding citizen when you were beating someone up?!
Question King Tournament had successfully installed.
Xie Yu had a bit more interest in this Question King Tournament, so he neatly ended the
conversation: I’m dropping this conversation, Barbecue Prince, and going to play games.
The two had different understandings of the word ‘game.’ Zhou Dalei also liked to play
games: whether it was Match Up or League of Legends, he loved them all and wasn’t picky.
He did have some talent for games. Once, he had been the glorious top League player on
Black Water Street whom people couldn’t beat no matter how hard they tried.
So the Barbecue Stall Prince immediately perked up and sent Xie Yu a private message:
What game, a new Chicken King Wars? Let’s VC?
[XY] No.
[XY] Don’t ask, you can’t.
[XY] You can’t play it.
The three dots of silence.
An explosion.
[Barbecue Stall Prince – Lei] : Don’t tell a man he can’t. Tell me what it is. If you have guts,
tell me. I, your big bro, will get onto the leaderboard in a minute.
Zhou Dalei put out his cigarette and prepared to meet this battle between men. But when
he saw the game interface Xie Yu sent over—if that could even be called a game—he felt as
if he had been struck by lightning. He was dazed. With trembling hands he deleted the
brutal words he had previously sent.
Then he hit the voice message button and replied, “What the hell is this!”
Hell Math, Huanggang Real Questions, Flower English, BioChemPhys All Together… this
was a virus, surely.
“Is this a game? Can this be a game? What exactly do you not understand about the word
‘game?’” Zhou Dalei’s heart was pierced a thousand times and hurt like it had received ten
thousand thorns. In the end he could only ask, from the depths of his soul, “Is this fun?!”
[XY] I don’t know. It’ll do, probably.
[Barbecue Stall Prince – Lei] : ……
The total number of online players in Question King was less than four hundred. It was
unpopular and its interface was simple and ugly; it gave off the atmosphere of risking
shutdown at any time.
Upon entry, players encountered a test made up of random questions. They had to
accumulate a certain amount of points before they could enter the second level: endless
question mode, and one-on-one PK.
This game did have some frills: in the lower left corner was a small box and a scrollbar, a
chat function which encouraged communication between players. But the contents of this
communication…
“TopTenInClass” said to “EnglishClassRep”: Let’s compare points. I’ll give you back this
humiliation.
“EnglishClassRep” said to “TopTenInClass”: Interesting. Is that fun? If you have that much
mental energy, you might as well go memorize some more English vocabulary. Your
English—pardon my frankness—you don’t even have the lexicon of an eighth grader. If
your vocabulary is stuck at the fourth grade level, you don’t have a future. You should
reflect on yourself.
“TheBeautyOfChineseCulture”: Memorize what English? When one is tired, come to the
Oceans of Chinese Culture to rest and recuperate. Classical Chinese PK, self-explanatory.
Double experience. Room 24008, wait for your fated person.
“ILoveStudying”: Game God, please explain question 13 on booklet B? Is zero or negative
one not the solution? Are the limits on the function wrong?
“StudystudystudythatsallIdo” : Will pay high price for a set of the 40th Anniversary Limited
Edition edition of “Beat the Gaokao:² The Mock Exam Most Worth Doing.” I went to all the
bookstores and couldn’t get it. Because I couldn’t do this mock exam, I can’t eat and I lost
twenty kg. My heart hurts. The Beat the Gaokao series is my favourite mock exam, how can
I not have the limited edition!!!
……
Xie Yu was the 399th registered player. This game really was unpopular; the system
warmly welcomed him in a little message box for a full two minutes, then enthusiastically
predicted his future for him: Drift freely in the ocean of knowledge and fight hard to build a
beautiful new China. Tsinghua and Peking University³ are waving to you.
Xie Yu clicked in and did a mock exam.
The system messages were still rolling: Welcome user [jsdhwdmaX] to the Question King
Tournament family!
At this time, the players online hadn’t realized that this newbie, whose account name
seemed to have come from rubbing his face against his keyboard, would bring a massacre
of blood, wind, and rain in the summer vacation to come.
Zhou Dalei also did a mock exam, refusing to back down until he hit the southern wall.⁴ In
the answer box for every question he scrawled only two crooked words: Don’t know.
The result was obvious.
He hit the ‘submit paper’ button in the upper right corner and was informed that his score
was too low and he was not eligible for admission to the game lobby.
Zhou Dalei almost threw his phone: Discrimination! Discrimination against bad students!
What kind of broken game is this? I’m a king in the digital arena! You don’t even let me in
the game lobby? If I can’t do ’em, I can’t do ’em! So what if I can’t do the questions? At least
I’m honest!
By the time Xie Yu had finished doing the questions, he had received more than ten
messages from Barbecue Prince.
-Scoundrel!
-How is this solved? Is this really meant for humans to do?
-Complaint! I’m lodging a complaint!
……
Xie Yu’s finger tapped lightly on the screen several times as he formed his sentence
carefully. He was about to hit send, but Zhou Dalei sent another message: How many points
did you get?
How many points?
Xie Yu sat on the carpet with his back to the side of his bed and deleted the words he had
just written, one at a time.
[XY] About the same as you.
[XY] Rubbish game. Uninstalled already.
Zhou Dalei had a cigarette in his mouth. He squatted by the box and contemplated life. An
apron encircled his waist, Fang Bao Lai Sunflower Seed Oil written on it in red cursive. One
could tell at a glance that it was a ‘buy two get one free’ piece from the supermarket’s big
clearance sale.
He wasn’t bad-looking. His features were proportional and somewhat rascally, and he was
just a little dark. Right now, it was the way he squatted that made him look even more like a
hooligan.
His mom passed by holding a tray. Seeing him deflated like this, she picked up a foot and
kicked him. Zhou Dalei’s butt took a direct hit. “What are you doing squatting here! Have
you finished grilling the lamb?”
“I’m going, I’m going.”
Zhou Dalei hurriedly stood up and had only taken two steps when he thought of something
and turned back to say: “In a while, mom, I want to ask you something.”
His mom replied smoothly: “Don’t know, no money, loved before.”
”Can you be serious. I was going to ask you, do you remember that in junior high, Xie Yu’s
grades were really good and he even represented our street in a math competition and won
a prize. And when we were little and had a Rubik’s cube, he could do it even with his eyes
closed. He was so good at it…”
His mom put the dirty dishes in the sink. “So what? Your mom, too. When I was small, I got
full marks in all my exams, and in the end I still got lost. People get worse with time, too.
Like you. Look at you now.”
Zhou Dalei tried to capture the vaguely formed notion in his mind. “No—Mom, I really think
that that’s not… also, what’s up with me now? I think I’m quite good-looking.”
“Good-looking my ass. Get rid of those messy colors on your head first.” His mom began
lecturing. “Kids these days just want to play. They’re all smart too, they just don’t spend
time on studying. Like A-Jie from next door, his grades used to be rock bottom, but after he
got out of the hospital he jumped ahead about a hundred places in the mock exams. I think
you also need a car accident to clear your brain. All you know how to do is play games all
day…”
“Twenty lamb kebabs, right? I’m going.”

Translation notes:
[1] In rural areas, oil containers were made of bamboo which was heavy. Because rural
areas were far from the towns, when a villager went to the market, his neighbors would
often ask him to buy things from the market, most often oil (which was needed for lights,
cooking, etc). The villager would thus end up dragging six or seven heavy oil containers
behind him. These oil containers were usually ‘someone else’s property,’ were tedious to
haul, and often picked up mud and dirt along the way (拖泥带水, an idiom which also refers
to picking up unnecessary fuss or work). Thus, ‘dragging an oil container’ gradually became
a phrase representing the burden of bringing up someone else’s illegitimate child.
[2] Gaokao: short form for the high school exams
[3] Tsinghua and Peking U: the best universities in China
[4] Refusing to back down until hitting the southern wall: Stubborn.

Chapter 005 - Arrogant yet polite

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Xie Yu had always suffered from poor sleep quality. Not long after falling asleep, he was
awoken by the sound of something breaking downstairs.
It was the crisp and earsplitting sound of ceramic shattering against the ground.
Accompanying the sound of shattering were familiar angry shouts. The person’s tone held
the bone-deep pride of someone who had grown accustomed to holding a high position for
many long years: “This is my house! All of you get out—pack up and get out! Remove your
dirty hands! Who allowed you to touch me? You think you’re fit to—”
Xie Yu removed his eye mask but did not open his eyes; his temple faintly throbbed.
“Eldest young master, I’ve made some soup to help you sober up. Drink some.” It was A-
Fang’s voice, deferential. “You’ve drunk too much…”
There was a muffled thud from something else being thrown, then the person’s shouting
became more and more shrill: “I said get lost, all of you get lost! All you lower-class people,
do you not understand human words?!”
“Oh, look at my memory. I almost forgot. This house doesn’t have a place for me to speak,
right? Instead, certain people who aren’t surnamed Zhong still think so highly of
themselves.”
Xie Yu tossed and turned on the bed. Finally, he sat up in frustration and cursed: “Fuck.”
Three years.
It had been three years but this ugly scene was just the same as it had been then.
Three years ago when Gu Xuelan married the famous entrepreneur of A City, Zhong Guofei,
the news had spread quickly throughout the city. Not only Gu Xuelan, but Xie Yu, too, was
subjected to all kinds of nasty speculation.
The rumors spread as if they were truth.
Countless onlookers, who had just come to see a show and didn’t mind things getting out of
hand, went ahead and wrote countless ‘biographies’ of his life. The most eye-catching
among them was that of ‘the third party and her illegitimate kid.’
Xie Yu had personally experienced many years of evading debt collectors and wondering
where his next meal would come from, and had not even been able to pay his school fees
for more than half a year. Otherwise, even he might have believed those endless ugly
stories.
No matter which of the stories about this mother-son duo was the true one, Zhong Jie, who
was Zhong Guofei’s biological son, couldn’t accept it. He didn’t care what the truth was,
either.
He only knew the facts laid out in front of his eyes: after losing his mother, someone was
trying to snatch away everything he owned, including the most important thing.
His inheritance rights.
After a long time, it finally grew quiet downstairs. For better or worse, the eldest young
master Zhong was being helped back to his room. Xie Yu leaned against the headboard and
listened to the sound of them closing the door to Zhong Jie’s room, their light sighs as they
passed by his own door, and their footsteps as they walked back downstairs.
Xie Yu’s eyes were open; he was thinking.
Out of nowhere he felt thirsty.
It was as if a ball of fire was burning upwards through his internal organs until it reached
his throat.
Gu Xuelan sat on the sofa in the living room, her eyes desolate. Her lace dressing-gown
swept the floor. When she saw Xie Yu come down she glanced up only slightly, as if she was
very tired. “You’re downstairs? Did we wake you?”
Xie Yu had guessed she would be here. He wanted to say, ‘How many times have I told you?
If he wants to throw a fit, let him be. It’s none of your business.’ But seeing her like this, he
forced the words back down his throat and said in a lukewarm voice, “Happy now?”
Gu Xuelan: “…His mother’s death anniversary is in two days.”
Xie Yu: “So you stood there for an hour and let him yell at you.”
Gu Xuelan said nothing.
Xie Yu’s voice held no emotion, but his words grew thornier with each sentence: “His mom
—did you kill her? His dad—did you stealnatch him? If he wants to yell so much, let him
yell. But you even went so far as to help him out. You’re quite encouraging.”
By this time Gu Xuelan was not nearly as tough as she had been in the car before. She
sighed lightly. “Don’t say that.”
Xie Yu replied, “No one owes him anything. Doesn’t he realize that?”
“……”
Xie Yu went to the kitchen and poured two cups of milk. He handed one to Gu Xuelan and
said, doing his best to keep his voice amiable: “Mom, drink this and go and rest. It’s late.”
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear any of this tonight. Next time, if you stand there and let him shout
at you, I’ll beat him until he can’t speak.”
”I’m a person of my word.”
Gu Xuelan took the cup.
Gu Xuelan was stunned for a moment. The boy standing in front of her—she hadn’t realized
he had gotten so tall.
The youth took after her in looks. His appearance should make him look feminine, but
something fierce, cold, and sharp had at some point overtaken his features. He looked like
someone hard to get close to, and even she, his mother, felt that he was a stranger.
Her eyes finally landed on Xie Yu’s hair, where some strands were still sticking up from
sleep. The strands were still so soft, just like when he was young.
She momentarily wasn’t sure what to say. By the time she recovered, Xie Yu had already
turned and gone upstairs.
Xie Yu had always had trouble sleeping, and even milk didn’t help. He had been sleeping
soundly before; now that he had been awakened, he couldn’t go back to sleep no matter
how he tried.
He glanced at the pitch-black night outside the window and suddenly wanted to know what
time it was.
He had intended only to look at the time, but after he got hold of his phone all drowsiness
completely vanished.
[Barbecue Stall Prince – Lei] : Fuck it, I’m not playing any more! [Image]
[Barbecue Stall Prince – Lei] : This time I’m really quitting! [Image]
[Barbecue Stall Prince – Lei] : Last time! If I play again I’m a pig! [Image]
Two hours ago, Zhou Dalei had sent three screenshots in quick succession, all saying: Score
too low. You cannot enter the game lobby, oh~ Please answer more carefully.
Xie Yu wrote a line of text and hit reply. You really think heaven will be moved by the
persistence of a professional zero-scorer?
Zhou Dalei had probably long since gone to sleep and Xie Yu had no intention of waiting for
his reply. After exiting the app, he hesitated between two options: to keep on pretending to
be a corpse or to play a certain strange little game. Then he tapped on the app with the
Apple of Knowledge icon.
Respected user [jsdhwdmaX], welcome back to Question King~ You scored full marks on
your placement test. Please tap to continue and enter the game lobby!
It was 3 a.m. but this game was still very lively.
“Ilovestudying”: Anyone want to come to a private room and PK math mode? Waiting for a
fated person.
“MyGoalIsBalancedSubjects”: For the Math C paper, is question three actually a wrong
question? Is it wrong or am I wrong?
“FightingUpstream”: ……It’s so late. You all aren’t sleeping?
“StudystudystudythatsallIdo”: Sleep? What sleep? Do you know how many people will
surpass you if you sleep just a minute earlier?
“ForABetterTomorrow”: Study-bro is right. Life’s so short and the time we have to learn is
extremely precious. If we sleep, we’re wasting this wonderful time.
“Ilovestudying”: My thirst for knowledge leaves me unable to fall asleep. When I sleep, it’s
like I’m dead. My brain stops thinking. What’s more terrifying than not thinking?
“……”
Xie Yu suddenly felt that he, who had opened this game again, was also crazy.
The topic quickly switched from sleep to something else.
“StudystudystudythatsallIdo”: Speaking of which, that guy ranked first. Did anyone ever
knock him off it? He’s been an eyesore for a long time. How can somebody be that
shameless?
The moment these words emerged, a surprising amount of lurkers emerged.
“TopTenInClass”: Shameless +1!
“EnglishClassRep”: Shameless +2!!
“Mydreamistobeaschoolprincipal”: Shameless +3!!!
……
The atmosphere was lively and the thoughts of the players were as one.
Ranked first, shameless?
Xie Yu was actually curious—a rare occurrence.
The leaderboard was on the top right corner of the page. He tapped in. It was a simple,
shabby list. And the one in first place…
“Damn.” Xie Yu glanced at the two words beside the little gold trophy and momentarily
wasn’t sure what to say aside from, “Damn.”
First place: Question King.
Signature: No need to fight. Victory is mine.
Seven short words, arrogant yet polite.
In a game called Question King Tournament, he called himself Question King?
Many people had likely gone to ask customer service if this ‘Question King’ was a player or
a bot, because the app had even made a note beside the name in first place: Don’t ask. This
is a player. This is really a player. If you don’t believe it, challenge him orz.
Perhaps Xie Yu was frustrated at not being able to sleep, or maybe he wanted to find
something to pass the time. Of course, he was internally already a little annoyed at this
Question King.
Out of boredom, Xie Yu opened endless mode.
He thought: As long as it’s only in this game and no one knows… it should be fine.
Everyone knew that Xie Yu’s grades were crap.
Not only did he get bad grades, he also constantly got into fights. His rebellious phase had
arrived aggressively and even Gu Xuelan had forgotten that even just three years ago he
hadn’t been like that at all.
In his first year of junior high, Xie Yu even constantly brought trophies home.
Gu Xuelan didn’t know the importance of those trophies, and Xie Yu wasn’t the type who
liked to brag, so he always glossed over it: “Small competition. Not a lot of participants.”
The month before Gu Xuelan decided to marry Zhong Guofei, she took Xie Yu and moved
out of their basement apartment. That day, Zhong Guofei had employed a moving company
to help. He was already past forty and had the meticulous manner of a businessman: all his
workwas impeccable, yet held a personal touch.was watertight, yet personal. He had stood
in the damp and dark basement apartment and eventually stopped in front of a wall. He
bent down and the laugh lines at the corners of his eyes grew more prominent as he smiled
and asked, “Xiao Yu, all these awards are yours?”
Once Xie Yu started doing the questions, he couldn’t stop. His painstakingly awoken
competitiveness now thoroughly quashed all desire to sleep. Without rest or sleep, he did
questions for several nights in a row and managed to squeeze into the top three on the
leaderboard.
At mealtime, Gu Xuelan came upstairs to call him. The reply she got was always: “I’ll eat
later, just leave it there.”
“What have you been doing cooped up in your room these two days?” Gu Xuelan stood in
the doorway, keeping a tight rein on her temper.
Xie Yu was quite honest: “Me? Playing a game.”
“You have the cheek to say that… The home tutor I got is coming over tomorrow. You’d
better clean up your act, do you hear me?”
“Didn’t hear you.”
“……”
Gu Xuelan was brimming with anger. When she returned to the dining room, Zhong Guofei
smiled and put a piece of fish on her plate: “Don’t be angry. The boy’s still young and it’s
usual to want to have fun. Try this—I got someone to fly it over from Hokkaido, fresh. Last
time in the restaurant you seemed to like this, so I got Old Xu to watch out for it.”
Zhong Guofei put down his chopsticks and watched her eat, then raised a hand to tidy her
hair. “If you’re so angry, you’ll end up getting sick and I’m the one who will be
heartbroken.”
Gu Xuelan smiled and glanced at him, then sighed. “I hope.”
Recently, something really had been off with Xie Yu.
Quite a few times, Zhou Dalei had seen the messages his big bro had sent to the friend
group in the middle of the night. The contents were all quite strange, as if he wasn’t quite in
his right mind.
For example, tonight’s message from 4:23am.
XY: Someone, slap me awake. [/Smile]
Zhou Dalei was playing a game where a new tournament had started and he needed to earn
points. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be checking his friend group messages because of his
boredom at this time.
The atmosphere in the internet cafe was even more lively than during the day. Several
containers of cup noodles surrounded the keyboard. Zhou Dalei blew out a smoke ring and
pressed the cigarette butt into the ashtray before adding a message: Have you been
drinking?
Xie Yu replied: I don’t drink. Fake alcohol is dangerous.
Zhou Dalei replied: Listening to you… Bro, I’m gonna guess. Have you… fallen into the abyss
of love?
Xie Yu replied: Love, my ass.

Chapter 006 - This lot plays too dirty

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“Ilovestudying”: This guy X is in third place already.
“StudystudystudythatsallIdo”: Almost caught up to second place.
“EnglishClassRep”: Looks like there’s gonna be a good show. Bets, anyone? I think this X is
definitely a late bloomer. Dark horse among dark horses. And up till now he hasn’t said
anything. High and mighty to the end. Can tell at a glance that he’s someone who does great
things. Not a simple person.
“ForABetterTomorrow”: What shall we wager?
“ServeTheHomeland”: I wager a personal treasure. The fifth textbook, “Language,” from
1982’s middle school curriculum. You can only come across something like this by luck.
“Ilovestudying”: He must be someone who spends all his time studying. Looks like he does
nothing but study all day, so neither glory nor humiliation fazes him. He doesn’t concern
himself with any other entertainment. I feel extremely ashamed to even have the spare
time to be chitchatting here.
Xie Yu had done questions for a good few nights. After getting onto the leaderboard, the
user ‘jsdhwdmaX’ had become a hot conversation topic people didn’t tire of.
To this group of players who loved to study, the leaderboard was like their class ranking. It
was a symbol of glory and the goal to which they aspired. In their daily lives, they strove to
become top students and encouraged themselves to follow in the footsteps of top students:
read more, see more, memorize more, and do more.¹
A player’s overall score in Question King Tournament was determined by their average
score in the various subjects, so it was useless to only be good in one subject. The names on
the leaderboards were all all-rounders, and the ranking had almost never changed since the
beginning of the game.
In a single night, a newcomer had rushed up. This name, which was impossible to
remember, was even changing its position on the leaderboard every day: he effortlessly
climbed upwards, as if climbing a ladder.
“StudystudystudythatsallIdo”: High and mighty, alright. Shameless already cast a long
shadow in my heart. Now every time I see the system announcing someone PKing someone
and losing, I’m just afraid the next words in the chat are going to be, “1 kill.”
“EnglishClassRep”: His record is 14 kills in a night. I feel like he’s playing the wrong game
[/tears running down face]
“ForABetterTomorrow”: Damn, he’s really that annoying? After PKing someone, he says in
the chat, “1 kill 2 kills 3 kills?” Is he the Shameless I know?
“EnglishClassRep”: It’s him. Who else could it be? To tell the truth, I really want to know
what he’s trying to achieve by doing this.
“StudystudystudythatsallIdo”: I don’t know. How can mortals like us understand?
”Ilovestudying”: Of all things, the most important is studying. Gossip is meaningless.
Everyone, look at top student X. Come to room 4008. Waiting for your challenge.
The Question King hadn’t come online very often after securing his territory, but his legend
had still spread throughout the game.
Xie Yu occasionally glanced at the chat, and each time his understanding of ‘Shameless’ was
renewed. So many tricks? This crazy person.
He did questions until it was past 2 a.m. and accepted several PK battles. After getting his
points, he prepared to log off and go to sleep.
He had only slept several hours before being called awake at seven in the morning by Gu
Xuelan. “The tutor is almost here! Tidy up, tidy up and wash up, then come down and eat
breakfast. Quickly.”
She said the first few sentences normally, but by the end she saw Xie Yu’s uncooperative
attitude and grew angry again. “Did you hear me?”
Xie Yu got a headache from her shouting: “…Got it.”
Gu Xuelan was a woman of her word and had really hired a tutor. This person had quite a
reputation in the world of private tutoring and had cured many wayward youth. All in all,
he was talked up as if he were a god and there wasn’t a student he couldn’t teach. He had a
pair of hands that could turn rot into miracles, stones into gold, and discover the hidden
intelligence in every child…
Xie Yu wanted to laugh when he heard it. He wanted to laugh mockingly.
But Gu Xuelan was very hopefully anticipating this tutor’s arrival. This woman, who usually
rigidly controlled her food intake to preserve her figure, had even eaten a few more bites of
breakfast out of happiness. “I heard Madam Chen’s son’s grades improved a few dozen
points in a summer.”
Zhong Guofei smiled and said to Xie Yu, “Did you hear that? Work hard and don’t
disappoint your mother.”
Xie Yu was focused on eating his congee. He didn’t even raise his head and just said, “Mm,”
in acknowledgement so the matter would be over.
But someone wasn’t happy.
Zhong Jie sat opposite Xie Yu and said in a lukewarm voice: “People are different. Just
because someone else’s son’s grades got better by a few dozen marks doesn’t mean your
son’s will, too. Don’t give him too much pressure. If he can’t, he can’t.”
The moment these words emerged, the atmosphere at the table, which had been cordial
until now, instantly dropped to freezing point.
Gu Xuelan awkwardly put down the soup ladle and wasn’t sure what to say.
“Can you speak?”
Xie Yu leisurely finished his congee, then looked up, looked into Zhong Jie’s eyes and
repeated, “Can you speak?”
Gu Xuelan hurriedly tugged at Xie Yu’s clothes.
The words, “None of your business,” were on the tip of Xie Yu’s tongue, but in the end he
didn’t say them.
”Am I wrong?” Zhong Jie smiled wider and wider. “You cheated on the high school entrance
exams. Are you going to cheat on the university entrance exams too?”
If not for Gu Xuelan restraining him, Xie Yu would have put Zhong Jie in the hospital—the
sort of ‘landing in the hospital’ that meant he’d be bedridden for a month and not be able to
take care of daily life matters.
Zhong Jie looked very similar to Zhong Guofei, but how they treated people and things were
poles apart. Zhong Jie always did things with acrimony and meanness.
He was about to enter university. His grades weren’t good enough for a top-tier school, but
Zhong Guofei had connections. Even though he was more than ten points short, Zhong
Guofei had still gotten him into Nanjing University. This placement gave him the pride and
confidence of “A student of a famous university.”
“How I do on the university entrance exams is nothing you need to be concerned about.”
Xie Yu wiped his mouth and stood up. He walked several steps before stopping to ask again,
“Right, have you eaten your fill?”
Zhong Jie wasn’t sure what he meant by this.
Xie Yu continued, “If you’ve eaten your fill, I hope you can find something to do.”
Zhong Jie: “……” Was Xie Yu insulting him by saying he squanders his energy on pointless
things?²
In the end, the meal ended on an unhappy note.
After the meal, Zhong Jie and Zhong Guofei left the house together to go to work. Gu Xuelan
stayed at home to wait for the private tutor and took the chance to talk to Xie Yu. “Although
that kid Xiao Jie wasn’t right, you still shouldn’t talk to him like that.”
“That kid?” Xie Yu said, “If that person is a kid, then surely so am I?”
Gu Xuelan wasn’t sure how to continue either. She simply didn’t want the house to be full of
drawn swords and notched arrows all the time. “You… you’re already familiar with what
his personality is like. Just bear with it. If you take a step back, things will be much easier to
resolve.”
Xie Yu was so annoyed he couldn’t take it. “Based on what? He has a dogshit temper and I
still have to put up with him?”
“Your Uncle Zhong has already reprimanded him. Be politer next time. Your mom is
begging you, all right? Most of the time you live at school anyway and Mom can’t see you
even if she wants to. Now that you’re back home for the holidays, be good and listen to me.”
As she spoke, the doorbell rang.
The home tutor stood in the doorway holding a black briefcase. He was young, with gold-
rimmed spectacles, and had the bearing of a good man. “Madam Zhong, young master
Zhong.”
Seeing he had arrived, Gu Xuelan ended the conversation, got up, and went to the hall to
welcome the guest. The two sat on the sofa and chatted for a while about Xie Yu’s bad
grades among other things.
Xie Yu sat opposite them, extremely bored, and picked several grapes from the coffee table.
The home tutor was surnamed Huang, had graduated from a reputed university, and spoke
eloquently about educational matters. Xie Yu had almost begun to believe that Mr. Huang’s
legendary power of turning rock into gold was really something special, but he hadn’t
imagined that it would be extremely boring. He started to get sleepy after listening for a
while.
“Interest is a student’s best teacher. My pedagogical philosophy is to lead students to
develop an interest in learning. When they are interested in learning of their own accord,
then one can teach according to the student’s need, and help the student by finding the
study method that best suits him. After finding the right study method, the work becomes
much easier, achieving double the results with half the effort.”
The hair on Mr. Huang’s head was coated in a thick layer of hair gel and he had a habit of
using his fingers to push up his spectacles when he spoke.
The grapes were sweet and sour. Xie Yu picked up a tissue to spit the seeds out.
He surreptitiously opened his phone messages and located Lei-zi. While Gu Xuelan and the
teacher were chatting up a storm, he one-handedly sent a text: Call me, quick.
After many years of deep friendship, a text like that was instantly understood.
Zhou Dalei’s phone call came the next second.
Xie Yu stood up: “Mom, Mr. Huang, I’ll take this call outside.”
On Zhou Dalei’s end was the sound of a keyboard clacking. Xie Yu was about to say, “You’re
at an internet cafe, right?” when he heard Dalei suck in a deep breath and then raise his
voice, yelling righteously, “Fuck your grandpa! You steal my loot, I kill your whole family!”
Xie Yu: “……”
Zhou Dalei cursed up a storm for a while, threw his mouse to the floor, and almost followed
up with the keyboard. But the internet cafe boss hurried over: “Lei-zai, calm down, calm
down. If you smash this, you’ll have to pay for it. Things in games are temporary, just like
clouds and smoke passing by. Take it easy. All sorts of things happen…”
”Can’t calm down. Not done with this.” Zhou Dalei was very stubborn. “Relationships, go
ahead and steal them. Limited edition violet weapon, no way.”
Zhou Dalei now remembered that his phone was still connected to a call. “Boss Xie? I tell
you, I’m so mad right now my balls hurt.”
Xie Yu asked: “Limited edition violet weapon?”
“Yeah! Our team killed this boss and the drop rate is only 0.1 per cent. We’ve been grinding
this secret boss for days now. Damn, it was right within our reach and then they snatched it
from right under our noses,” Zhou Dalei said. “This lot plays too dirty. Really damn dirty.”
Zhou Dalei said, “I challenged them to a duel to the death. Whoever doesn’t show up is a
grandson.³ Are you coming?”
Xie Yu: “I don’t play your fantasy games.”
“Not in a game. On Nanjing Street.”
He can fucking invite them out just like this?
Zhou Dalei: “They’re in A City. We’re in B City. I got a map, drew a line, and picked the
center location. Two hours from now, the quad in the middle of Nanjing Street.”
Xie Yu glanced back at Madam Gu who was still talking to the home tutor. “All right. Wait
there and big bro will come support you.”
Gu Xuelan and Mr. Huang had chatted for about twenty minutes. By the time she realized
something was odd, Xie Yu had already left.
He said he was taking a call, but it had been a long time since he left to take the call and he
still hadn’t come back.
“Where is he?”
Seeing the madam’s expression go dark, A-Fang hesitated and wasn’t sure what to say: “…
L-left. Second young master said before he left to tell you not to waste your effort.”
Gu Xuelan almost dropped the ceramic teacup in her hand.
Xie Yu was the last to arrive.
When he got to the central shopping center, the two groups of people had already formed
two lines facing each other. From the looks of it, they were trying to hash things out first
before fighting.
More than a dozen people, quite a crowd.
Xie Yu had no intention of fighting; he was only there to mind his own business. So he
picked the most scenic spot, in the shade away from the sun, and hung around.
It was a muggy and hot summer day, and the two groups of hot-blooded guys whose ages
averaged fifteen or sixteen endured the 10:30am sun. For the sake of a piece of equipment
in a game, both sides ‘greeted’ each other’s whole families.⁴
Zhou Dalei took the lead. His voice was loud: “You still fucking dare talk? Was that
equipment yours?”
The opposite group didn’t show weakness: “It’s ours. How could it not be ours?”
“How shameless are you, big bro? It’s just a game. Don’t play so dirty.”
“Opportunities are for the prepared. To get the goods, we hid there for three or four days.
What do you know?!”
“Yo-hei, you’re quite arrogant. Looking for a beating, are you?”
“Come on then! Who’s scared of who?!”
Zhou Dalei was so mad he almost expired. He took a breath and grit out: “You’d better hand
it over while I can still talk to you calmly. Hand the goods over and I won’t make things
difficult for you. We’ll treat this like it never happened.”
Xie Yu observed someone in the crowd, who was originally standing at the back of the line
and wearing a black mask, slowly walk forward. He stood out among the crowd. The people
surrounding him cooperated smoothly to clear him a path.
Through the cloth, that person’s voice was muffled and low: “We got the equipment with
our own skill. Why should we return it?”

Translation notes:
[1] ‘do more’: do more questions.
[2] the CN expression for wasting one’s energy is ‘after eating one’s fill, one starts rowing [a
boat].’ Xie Yu is invoking the first part and assuming Zhong Jie will fill in the rest.
[3]’Grandson’ is a derogatory cuss here.
[4]‘greet the whole family:’ curse the whole family

Chapter 007 - Surname He, name Zhao. Written zhuo-yue, Zhao.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
They were just asking for a beating.
Just listen to that self-righteous tone.
The two lines of people immediately crashed together in a scuffle and fought relentlessly.
Zhou Dalei wished he could strip off his shirt, bare his shoulders, and burn up all the energy
in his body. Just show them what comes of pissing him off. “You steal my violet weapon,
you steal my violet weapon, I’ll let you steal my violet weapon!”
“We didn’t steal anything! Is this considered stealing? If your skills aren’t as good as ours
then just admit it. Fuck, don’t hit someone’s face!”
Amidst the chaos—
With wide eyes, Xie Yu saw the masked teenager who had initiated the fight, and who
emanated an aura of being the chief of this lot, quietly minding his own business. He
gradually left the battlefield while minding his own business. His ‘minding my own
business’ skill was very good; no one discovered him as he quietly left.
As he left the arena, he even raised a hand to tidy his hair.
Very concerned with appearances.
“……”
On this hot summer day, he wore long sleeves and pants, and even wore a mask so that his
features couldn’t be seen.
He was clearly making for the shade beneath the trees. He glanced around at the
surroundings and saw only the area where Xie Yu was standing was devoid of sun, so Xie
Yu soon found someone else next to him.
Mask was fairly tall, about half a head taller than Xie Yu.
He and Xie Yu stood shoulder to shoulder watching the fight, then he leisurely pulled a
lollipop from his pocket. Pink strawberry, Zhen Zhi brand. He unwrapped it in three
movements. It was very hot and the sugar had melted some, and Xie Yu smelt a cloying
sweetness spreading through the air.
He pulled aside the mask, the black material hanging loosely at his chin, and ate the lollipop
for a while. He didn’t seem to have any patience for the sweet; after sucking for a while, he
crunched it to pieces with his teeth. Only when he looked for somewhere to throw away the
rubbish did he realize the person standing next to him might also be a challenger from the
opposite side who had come to demand the violet weapon.
Xie Yu endured it for a while then couldn’t hold back any more: “What are you looking at?”
After surreptitiously watching someone and then being directly called out by said person,
the guy didn’t seem uncomfortable at all. Without any change in expression he put the
mask back on, his fingers a stark contrast against the black fabric they were curled in. His
complexion seemed unnaturally pale. “You’re with that lot, too?”
Xie Yu said, “So what if I am.”
Mask thought for a while and said, “Friend, let’s go a couple rounds?”
On the other side, the fight was going terribly. Frankly, Xie Yu found it embarrassing and
didn’t really want to join in. “Friend, I advise you to value your life.”
Mask folded up his sleeves twice, revealing slender wrists: “What a coincidence, I like
courting death.”
Two rounds later, Xie Yu had to admit that this person was unexpectedly good.
His fighting moves were very clean: done in a single breath, quick, vicious, and accurate.
Accidentally taking one of his hits would hurt from flesh right down to the bone.
Xie Yu had tussled with a lot of people since he was young. When he was small he had taken
a lot of hits; after turning ten, it had basically just been him hitting other people. He very
rarely experienced the other side getting the advantage of him.
When Xie Yu was about to use a dirty move to trip Mask onto the ground, with just a
moment’s effort from Mask, the battlefield became the ground. Mask held their position for
a long time, then pinned Xie Yu’s arm. He tried to get up from under Xie Yu but suffered
another blow from Xie Yu’s knee to his stomach.
“Wait a moment—” Mask said, “Do you know what the ground temperature is today?”
There had been a heatwave for the past few days. The temperature was in the red warning
zone, and every day there were people doing sunny-side-up egg experiments on the
ground.
Xie Yu was about to say, Surely a grown man such as yourself isn’t that sensitive?
Just as Xie Yu was distracted, Mask pushed him and flipped them over. The positions of the
two were instantly reversed, and Mask lifted an eyebrow; his eyes were deep-set and close
together, his gaze deep and unfathomable.
He was very close, one hand supporting his weight next to Xie Yu’s neck. He said, “It’s quite
warm. Feel it.”
“Feel your grandpa.”¹
On the floor, the two didn’t even manage to go a few rounds.
Xie Yu felt the weight on his body suddenly disappear. Mask had swiftly got up off of him,
dusted off his trousers, and stretched out a hand to Xie Yu to pull him up, suddenly
spouting nonsense: “… Friend, how could you be so careless? Tripping on flat ground? Be
careful when you walk. If you’re like that, how can I let you go walking around the park
alone?”
Xie Yu really couldn’t understand this development. “Are you an idiot?”
Mask said, “You’re the idiot.”
Then Mask yelled to the other side, “Stop—don’t fight any more, the cops are here.”
Only now did Xie Yu faintly hear the sound of a police car. Immediately after, he saw five or
six police officers in full attire getting out of the cars one by one on the other side of the
road, yelling across the street: “On your knees! Hands on your head! Don’t move! Brawling
in public! You’ve got guts, have you!”
They were some distance from the public brawl and Mask’s reaction was very quick. He
had already pulled Xie Yu to a standing position before the officers got out of their cars, and
the police did not suspect that beneath the trees were two fish that had escaped the net,
fighting one-on-one while enjoying the shade.
Mask slung an arm across Xie Yu’s shoulders. From afar, the two looked like good friends
taking a stroll through the park at 10:30 in the morning. “No need to thank me. My
hearing’s pretty good. How about this, let’s coordinate our statements. What sort of
persona do you want? I’ve already thought of something for me. I’m an innocent bystander
who ate too much for breakfast and came to the park for a stroll.”
Xie Yu said coldly, “I can’t be bothered with you.”
Mask: “……”
Xie Yu continued, “You came out to fight and you’re afraid of the cops?”
”Not afraid.” Mask shrugged and said with indifference, “It’s just annoying.”
The two should have been fortunate enough to watch the police take the other ten away,
but man proposes, God disposes.
One of the guys whose personality wasn’t that strong had broken down. He looked left and
looked right and didn’t see his big bro, then he turned his head and saw his big bro
standing under the tree. In a panic, he yelled like a chick looking for its mother: “—Zhao-
ge!”
“……”
He Zhao was really cursing up a storm in his heart.
Xie Yu: “Zhao-ge? You?”
He Zhao said, “If I said I wasn’t, would you believe me?”
Xie Yu shrugged off the arm He Zhao had put on his shoulder. The act of brotherhood
reached its end and he immediately did an about-face: “You should ask the cops if they
believe you.”
Of course, the cops wouldn’t believe it.
They’d rather make an incorrect arrest than let someone go free. In any case, they’d take
them back to the station first and then see.
The officer stood in front of them, looking first at one and then the other. For a moment, he
wasn’t sure which one of them was “Zhao-ge.” “Zhao-ge? Who?”
He Zhao took the first step to acknowledge the name by which he was known in those
circles. “Me. It’s me. Surname He, name Zhao. Written zhuo-yue, Zhao.”
Before Xie Yu had even had a chance to save himself and distance himself from them, he
heard the person who had just pulled him up from the ground and who had wanted to
coordinate statements with him, introduce him to the officer: “Uncle officer, he’s the person
I was fighting with.”
Xie Yu: “… Really, I have to say thank you.”
”Take them along! Take them all back!”
At the police station.
There were too many of them: seventeen or eighteen people lined up to enter, like a long
line walking the red carpet. After reaching the designated spot, they split into two lines
facing each other. They squat, hands over their heads, looking very much like criminals in a
TV drama.
Zhou Dalei even thought this was quite novel. He nudged Xie Yu with his arm: “Old Xie, do
you think we’re like drug dealers? I’ve only seen this kind of treatment on TV. Speaking of
which, the cops of Black Water Street are quite nice, comparatively. They even gave us a
bench to sit on.”
Xie Yu: “You still want to sit on a bench? Keep thinking about it.”
He Zhao, squatting opposite Xie Yu, couldn’t hold back a laugh.
The officer sitting right in the center of the meeting table now rapped the table. “What are
you doing? Do you think you’re having a tea party? And you, what are you laughing at? And
you’re still wearing that thing. You even know that you’re embarrassing yourself? Take it
off.”
He Zhao obligingly removed the mask. “It’s not that. I’m sensitive to ultraviolet light.”
“Then you’re quite determined. Even came out to fight.”
He Zhao said, “Couldn’t help it, it’s for my subordinates. I’m actually a pacifist. I don’t like all
this fighting.”
Zhou Dalei nudged Xie Yu with his arm again. He tried to hold it in but really couldn’t.
“Damn, he’s a handsome devil.”
Xie Yu: “Zhou Dalei, do you think that it’s appropriate to get a crush on a guy while you’re
squatting in a police station?”
He Zhao heard it, and in a good mood returned the compliment: “Brother, you’re quite
good-looking, too.”
Zhou Dalei let out a snort of laughter. He felt that this guy was interesting: “Hey, are you
mixed? You look a little western.”
Although the person in front of him was squatting, his strong presence didn’t diminish in
the least. His hair was clean-cut, revealing half his forehead; the bridge of his nose was
high, and his eyes were narrow and long. His double eyelids were cut deep; when he looked
at others, his eyes seemed to speak. Deep and incomprehensible, both dangerous and
careless.
”I’m mixed blood from eight countries. Ancestors lived three generations in Europe, then
went towards Southeast Asia. My dad is Arabian, my mom is French.” Seeing Zhou Dalei’s
expression become more and more worshipful, He Zhao stopped, then said incredulously
“……you believed that? I’m Chinese. Pure, not mixed blood.”
Seeing these two about to overcome their enmity and form a friendship, the officer finally
got to the point and strangled the friendship in its cradle: “Which of you is going to explain
what all this is about? Why were you fighting?”
Zhou Dalei immediately jumped up: “Because they stole something from me! My violet
weapon! The item of my courage and my faith!”
The officer motioned for him to stop. “Child five?² And they stole something?”
Xie Yu’s head hurt from listening. He felt that the forthcoming content would really be a
little embarrassing.
As expected, Zhou Dalei said earnestly, “It’s a precious sword used by Pangu when he
opened the heavens and split the earth. It has 999+ defense and offense. With it, I can rule
the world and sell it for money at that. Selling it for money is the important part.”
“We didn’t steal it.” The other group wasn’t happy. They all said, “How can this be called
stealing? The Pangu God Sword fell on the ground. It didn’t have a name on it or anything.”
The officer wondered if he had caught a bunch of crazies.
In order to uncover the most genuine motive for the fighting, and to more deeply
understand the series of events in this situation, the few officers downloaded the online
game, ‘Genesis.’
How all this had happened was really laughable.
They said it was a public brawl but nobody was hurt, and by the time the police arrived
they had already stopped, so no explosive scene had been seen.
“Who has the Pangu God Sword?”
Someone raised a hand: “Here. It’s with me.”
The officer had decided on a perfect punishment to fit the crime. “Log into your account.”
“I’ve logged in. It’s in that, my pack, it’s that violet one, that’s right…”
Then the officer took the mouse and, in the right-click menu, selected [Toss.]
“I’m showing you that in a harmonious society, the Pangu God Sword doesn’t count for
anything.” The officer righteously turned around to face the group of ‘juvenile delinquents’
who were on the verge of crying and said passionately, “No matter how valuable it is, can it
be more valuable than our country’s peace?”
Zhou Dalei: “……!?”
Xie Yu: “……”
He Zhao: “……”
Translation notes:
[1] feel your grandpa: a curse (kind of like ‘feel, my ass’, but not quite as flirty.)
[2] zhuo: 卓 yue: 月 Put together they form the character 朝 from He Zhao’s name.
[3] ‘violet weapon’ (zi wu) sounds the same as ‘child five.’

Chapter 008 - You're damn good.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The Pangu God Sword, the symbol of kingship which all men fought over, had been
discarded just like that at the foot of Wild Boar Mountain.
Zhu Dalei felt that his heart had been pierced by a sword and completely run through. So
this was ‘heartbreak.’
The group of internet-addicted teens mired in their video game craze nearly rushed up to
snatch Uncle Officer’s mouse, but their remaining common sense held them back. Can’t do
that, it’s not appropriate. You can’t fight him. Don’t seek death. You absolutely definitely
have to restrain yourself.
The officer pointed to the screen again, where a wild boar was currently pacing back and
forth beside the glowing Pangu God Sword. “It’s just a virtual object. I’m not opposed to
youth like yourselves playing games, but you have to do so in moderation and have the
right values. Let’s continue on the topic of a harmonious society. A harmonious society…”
After a half-hour civics lecture, their minds were full of the two big words, “harmonious
society,” which turned circles and flowed back and forth in their minds.
Xie Yu was tired of squatting. While no one was looking, he plopped down on the ground.
Zhou Dalei happened to glimpse this tiny movement: “Old Xie, you’re slacking.”
Xie Yu patted the ground beside him and said, “You sit, too.”
“……” Zhou Dalei hesitated for two seconds and shrugged. “I don’t dare. I’m worried he’ll
make me log into my account and toss all the other equipment I painstakingly gathered. My
fragile soul can’t take that kind of hit.”
Xie Yu: “Progress.”
When the officer was more or less finished with his educational attempt, he wished to test
the results. He coughed twice to clear his throat and yelled, in the manner of an army
officer, “I ask, you answer. What is a harmonious society?”
No one answered.
They had just listened to a whole spiel about a harmonious society, but no one had told
them to jot down the main points and prepare for a pop quiz. How could they remember? It
was already quite good for them to have managed to listen to it all while squatting.
“It’s, it’s…. it’s…?”
The word, “it’s,” was said many times, tone rising and falling and brimming with emotion,
but after a long time no one continued.
The officer’s gaze swept the group several times and landed on someone for an answer.
“The pacifist from just now. Do you know?”
He Zhao had started to get sleepy while listening. His eyes were half-lidded, and only when
his name was called did he look up: “Me?”
The officer said, “Yes, you. Answer.”
He Zhao didn’t even know what the question was. He glanced left and right and no one
looked like they were about to remind him. He scrambled for a while and then answered, “I
pick C.”
“……”
Because of He Zhao’s answer, everyone’s reflection essay length increased from 2000
words to 3000.
The environment in which they had to write their essays was really awful. Desks weren’t
even provided; they had to write against the floor. Xie Yu put the paper over his knee and
his pen poked a hole in the paper when he used a little extra force.
Every few lines he wrote, he would poke a new hole in the paper. When Xie Yu got to the
second page, he finally frowned in frustration. “Fuck.”
“Don’t get frustrated, friend. Relax.” He Zhao was opposite Xie Yu, and his posture while
writing the reflection was very relaxed. His writing was so frantic the words almost leaped
off the page but he spoke lightly and calmly: “Life is like that. There will be many obstacles
you’ll never even expect, but we can overcome… fuck! Fuck that shit, this paper is so thin? I
didn’t even pull at it and it ripped.”
Xie Yu looked up and saw that the A4 paper He Zhao had been holding down with his hands
had torn nearly in half. The content covering it made one wonder if they really understood
Chinese. By the look of it, he had tried to write an entire line in cursive.
He Zhao pulled out a new sheet of paper and set it on the ground. A guy next to him was
convinced by this ‘good handwriting’ of his, and leaned over to stare at it for a long time,
then tutted in amazement: “I say, how do you write so fast? What is all this?”
He Zhao said, “Isn’t it suave?”
Xie Yu: “That self-confidence of yours is hard to come by.”
Zhou Dalei was bored of writing and came over to chat, too. “Hey, handsome devil, I hear
you’re their leader?”
He Zhao stopped and looked up. His collar was wide open and a piece of jade hanging on a
red thread around his neck fell out with his movement. It was a simple shape, a round
peace symbol. “Leader? Surely not. We met at an internet cafe and we sometimes raid
together.”
Now that the violet weapon had been tossed, everyone had more or less bonded by
fighting. And besides, they were sitting here suffering together; surely this was fate. But
Zhou Dalei still couldn’t help asking, “You helped steal the violet weapon?”
”I don’t have that much time to waste my energy on pointless things and kept vigil by the
secret boss’s spawning point for three days without sleeping or resting,” He Zhao said. “But
I really can’t face those guys. It was indeed my idea. It was just a joke but I didn’t think
they’d really be so dedicated.”
Hearing that group of people say they wanted the Pangu God Sword but couldn’t beat the
hidden boss, he had casually said, “Then steal it.”
He hadn’t expected that it had really given them new ideas.
Zhou Dalei didn’t quite understand. “But, before we fought, you still came out to taunt us?”
He Zhao said, “Since you wanted a fight, then we should have a proper fight, right? The
atmosphere wasn’t right, so I came to fix it. Friend, I really didn’t have any other
intentions.”
Zhou Dalei: “……” His words just seemed strange.
Xie Yu: “Then, really, thank you.”
He Zhao: “No problem.”
By the time they handed their reflections in it was already evening. Because one of them
had written especially slowly and all the essays had to be handed in before they could
leave, the ones who had finished first just waited at the side.
“Just three thousand words and you’re defeated. Are you a man or not?” He Zhao had tried
to give him pointers at first, but even he eventually admitted that this person was
unteachable. “You don’t even know how to write a reflection? ‘I was wrong. I deeply feel my
mistake and I promise I will not do it again.’ Then, look forward to your future—write, I’ll
dictate and you write.”
Xie Yu watched coldly from the side. In the time it took others to write 3000 words, this
person had only written an introduction. Xie Yu wasn’t as chatty as He Zhao: he only said
one thing and had already almost made the person cry. “Tell me, did you really finish nine
years of compulsory education?”
“……”
“All in?” The officer from before had received a phone call and had gone out to take care of
some matters. Now he picked up the thick stack of reflection essays, flipped through them,
and said, “All right, that’s it. Seeing as you are first-time offenders, we’ve decided to give
you a chance to turn over a new leaf. Don’t let something like this happen again. Whether
you’re minors or not, you have to take responsibility for your actions.”
Everyone answered in unison: “Yes, yes, yes, thank you uncle officer.”
“It won’t happen again.”
”You must deeply remember the four core principles and eight major values of a
harmonious society.
“How about this. Stand in two lines, the way you did when you first arrived.”
Zhou Dalei hesitated. Was this so that everyone would leave tidily? This place really did
value order.
Xie Yu and He Zhao resumed their original position in line and stood face to face. He Zhao
had, at some point, put his mask back on and only his eyes showed.
After everyone was in position, the officer let them know an important piece of
information, so explosive that no piece of skin on them remained intact: “This police station
practices education that springs from love. Based on the principles of love, we’ll try out
some measures targeted to kids like you who brawl publicly. Now shake hands, hug, and
say, “I love you, my friend,” so that you will really feel the meaning of a harmonious society.
Children, the world is a good place. The world is full of love.”
Xie Yu: “……”
He Zhao: “……”
Zhou Dalei: “……?!” The police of this area were too perverted, surely?
Evening, 7 p.m.
Xie Yu sat in a Lanzhou ramen store and looked at his phone as he waited for Zhou Dalei to
eat his second serving of ramen.
“Really. I don’t dare fight in this area any more.” Zhou Dalei used his chopsticks to pick out
the spring onion, then picked up the noodles and shoved them in his mouth. With his
mouth full he said, “Mpf tham scared.”¹
Xie Yu put down his phone: “Finish eating, then talk.”
Zhou Dalei gulped the food down, ignoring that it was piping hot. “I, Lei-zai, have walked
the world for sixteen years, and it’s my first time meeting such a thing—I love you, my
friend? Please, give this worldly youth a way out.”
The more the worldly youth eating noodles spoke, the more he felt it was unjustified
beyond words. In the end, he condensed all his feelings into a single line: “I don’t bow to
anybody but I’ll bow to that guy in the station who’s so shameless. How can he be so
cavalier?”
Upon hearing how that person was shameless, Xie Yu went slightly green.
Out of everyone, He Zhao was the one who was least psychologically burdened and the one
who acted quickest.
He had caught Xie Yu’s hand very naturally, sincerely taken his shoulders, and hugged him.
He had said, “I love you, my friend,” full of emotion, and they had seemed like a pair of long-
lost blood brothers.
Night had fallen. An evening wind suddenly rose and cooled the heat of the day some.
“Actually, that violet weapon from today… it really wasn’t the video game equipment that I
cared about.” Zhou Dalei’s voice suddenly went quiet and he put down his chopsticks. “You
know, my grades aren’t good. When I read textbooks I get confused and I have no idea
what’s going on. My parents’ barbecue stand doesn’t really count for work, and it’s pretty
exhausting, but what else can I do? I only know how to play video games. I can get by
playing video games, right? Selling game equipment… Boss Xie, what do you think? Do I
have any chance of becoming a professional esports player?”
Xie Yu didn’t say anything and listened quietly.
”Forget it, I was just saying. No matter how good you are at a game, it’s not a job, is it.” Zhou
Dalei grabbed a napkin, wiped his mouth, and got up. “Let’s go. It’s late and we have to
hurry home. Did you tell your mom you were going out? She’s probably worried.”
Zhou Dalei was usually a heartless person. To someone who didn’t know him, he was a
quintessential rascal who wasn’t good at anything.
In the second year of middle school, he had successfully chased a girl he liked. That girl had
also been in the second year and thought that having a hooligan friend was badass. By the
time their second year was over, she was looking down on him for not being able to do this
or that, which shot his heart full of holes. She said she really had been blind.
But the Zhou Dalei Xie Yu knew wasn’t like that.
“Lei-zi.”
“Mm?”
“Do you like playing games?”
“Yeah, I like to.”
“What would you say your skill level is?”
Zhou Dalei treated it as shooting the breeze and said, “Very good, all right?”
Zhou Dalei walked very far before he realized Xie Yu wasn’t following him.
He turned back and was about to yell, “What are you doing, are you coming? We gotta catch
the bus,” when he heard his good friend say from ten meters away, “I think you’re good.”
Zhou Dalei froze.
Xie Yu laughed as he said, “You’re damn good.”²
Translation notes:
[1] he’s saying ‘really damn scared’
[2]‘niubi’/’NB’, which is slang for competent/very good at something. ‘Niubility’ is
supposedly a thing although I have never seen it in the wild.

Chapter 009 - No.1: jsdhwdmaX.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
When Xie Yu got home, the light in the living room was still on. A-Fang had been following
behind him since the entrance, and he abruptly came to a stop: “If you have something to
say, say it.”
A-Fang glanced towards the living room without changing her expression, then said quietly,
“Madam’s been in a bad mood all afternoon and didn’t eat much at dinner. This time she
really is angry. Second young master, when you go in, please don’t talk back to her too
much.”
Gu Xuelan was in the living room watching television. Although she seemed to be her usual
self on the surface, Xie Yu could tell from the back of her head that this night would be a
difficult one to pass.
The TV was showing a clichéd dramatic soap opera: bad acting, terrible plot. The male lead
twisted his features to show his pain. “I love you, but I love her too… I really don’t know
what to do. You and she are the two most important women in my life.”
Xie Yu walked over: “Mom.”
Gu Xuelan said nothing.
The only response was the sound of the male lead saying more and more ridiculous things.
“I’m sorry.” Xie Yu endured the theatrics of the brain-damaging TV drama and bowed his
head, admitting his mistake. “This morning, I shouldn’t have left without saying anything.”
“Shouldn’t have left without saying anything.” Gu Xuelan turned off the TV, then slapped
the remote onto the glass coffee table with a bang. “What, were you going to proudly walk
out the front door? Xie Yu, I told you before. During this vacation, I want you to stay home.
Don’t go to those sketchy places. Your most important task right now is to study.”
”Mom, I think I have the right to decide how I spend my vacation.”
Gu Xuelan’s voice became noticeably sharper. “—What right do you have? When you’re of
age, then talk to me about rights. I didn’t raise you to let you dally about all day, eating and
passing time and waiting for death. All you do all day is run around outside. Have you
thought about your future? You’re still young. The things you can’t think about, Mom will
think about for you. You don’t have enough self-control and if you can’t do something, then
Mom will make the effort to watch over you and do it. In the end, it’s still my fault, is it?”
Xie Yu was silent.
Gu Xuelan took a breath and sat down. With shaking hands she picked up a cup from the
coffee table. She said, “You might blame your mother now, but in future, you’ll understand.
Mom is doing all this for your sake.”
”I know,” Xie Yu said. “I have my own plans. After the university exams, just watch and see
if I get into Tsinghua or Peking University.”
“You’re saying that just to keep me quiet. What plans do you have? If you really have plans,
your grades wouldn’t be like this. Tsinghua, Peking U… you’re dreaming.” Gu Xuelan’s chest
was so heavy it hurt.
Since awkwardly seeing Mr. Huang off this morning, she had experienced many emotions.
Now that Xie Yu was in front of her, with no consternation and not feeling at all that he had
done anything wrong, all her feelings welled up at once. “Who did you learn from to
become like this? Zhou Dalei? Xu Yanmei? You want to be like those people from Black
Water Street, do you?!”
“……”
Xie Yu had intended to bow and admit his mistake, and good-temperedly cajole Madam Gu
so that she would stop being angry. After all, today’s incident was indeed his fault. If she
really wanted him to cooperate with the tutor and study at home all vacation, then he
would study.
But the last sentence made him suddenly look up. He spoke slowly, but his eyes were cold
and piercing “Those people… what do you mean by those people?”
After saying the words, even Gu Xuelan felt she had spoken out of turn.
But she was currently angry and had no way of backing down.
The two faced off in silence.
”Dinner is in the kitchen. If you’re hungry, go and eat.” Gu Xuelan’s attitude softened some
and helplessness enveloped her completely.
Xie Yu had a stubborn personality and often even Gu Xuelan wasn’t sure what kind of
approach she should take to teach him.
She had brought her child up alone. She couldn’t help the lack of a father figure in Xie Yu’s
life growing up, and she had no way of filling the role for him.
No one had taught her how to guide a child with a strong rebellious streak in his youth. He
was no longer the soft baby who had lain in her arms and depended on her; he would no
longer pester her to go out and play with him. When he walked, he was no longer unsteady
on his feet. He wouldn’t walk halfway and then realize his mom hadn’t followed him, stop,
and turn back to look for her.
Now, he was going his own way and seemed to have left her behind. They had less and less
to say to each other. She didn’t know what he was thinking, and the light in the youth’s eyes
had grown brighter and brighter; behind his eyes gradually formed a world she didn’t
understand.
After Gu Xuelan went upstairs, Xie Yu went to the kitchen and poured himself some water.
He saw a plate of fried egg with tomato placed neatly to the side and covered with a bowl.
The egg had been fried to a golden brown, a light dusting of spring onion flakes sprinkled
on top.
Madam Gu had made it herself.
He didn’t need to taste it, he could tell at a glance.
Xie Yu suddenly felt that what he had done today was really very dastardly.
The night deepened and the big house grew silent again.
Xie Yu showered, then remembered his phone was still set to airplane mode. He turned it
off and a dozen messages flooded in at once: a seemingly endless string of chimes.
The messages from Aunt Mei were the most numerous. Asking where he was and saying
not to let his temper get the best of him, and to go home quick, your mom is very worried.
Lei’s mom had sent two, too. The last was from Lei-zi, asking if he had gotten home.
Xie Yu: Got home.
Lei-zi: That’s good that you got home. The moment I got home, my mom grabbed me and
asked if I knew where you went. Damn, it was like you had gone missing. She was so
worried. It scared me.
Although Madam Gu’s words had been fierce, with the attitude of, ‘no matter how you
argue I won’t listen,’ she hadn’t pressed the matter of the home tutoring. She had just left it
at that.
Zhong Jie, who had not the slightest bit to do with this matter, seemed like a cock who had
won a fight. His mood was great, and from time to time he would bring this up in
conversation.
Xie Yu had ‘learned to be good’ and remained cold and polite. “Mm, yes, you did well. You’re
great. You’re right. Happy now? Are you satisfied?”
Zhong Jie: “…..” The more he listened the more mad he got.
Without having to deal with home tuition, Xie Yu’s vacation time became much more
leisurely.
The tournament period of Question King Tournament was during the holidays and stopped
when school started up. Winter and summer vacations were the scheduled times for the
tournaments. This summer vacation was this unpopular game’s first try at a tournament,
and the one crowned Question King at the end would be the esteemed first-ever Question
King.
“Ilovestudying”: Top Student X didn’t log on today? Is he sick?
“ForABetterTomorrow”: Why does it have to be illness? …Can’t you think on the bright
side? People have lives.
“Ilovestudying”: In my eyes, as long as Top Student X still draws breath, he won’t give up on
studying. He puts in so much effort. He’s talent and effort in one. Without pride and without
frustration. Even at 5 a.m. he doesn’t sleep. He’s my studying role model.
“Top Student X, whose journey of studying even death could not stand in the way of” was
currently playing cards with two old aunties.
Xie Yu: “One circle.”
Xu Yanmei: “Three plus one.”
Lei’s mom: “Don’t want it.”
Xie Yu played again: “Bomb.”
The underground’s elder sister of Black Water Street, Comrade Xu Yanmei, had recently
become addicted to mobile game Dou Dizhu. All day she asked people in the chat group to
play cards¹ with her.
Lei’s mom glanced at her hand of bad cards: “I’m not playing any more. I can’t win anyway.
I have to make dinner.”
Xu Yanmei: “You always do that. If you can’t win, you leave?”
Lei’s mom was very frank: “I really have to make dinner, or do you want my son Lei to eat
dirt?”
“……”
Xie Yu said: “I’m giving up, too. Against me, you’ll lose anyway no matter how you play. It’s
terrible.”
Xie Yu was famously lucky and Zhou Dalei always called him “Boss Xie.”
Before, during the New Year, when everyone got together to play cards, Xie Yu would be
held at bay by everyone else. No one wanted to match skills at a table with him. So Xie Yu’s
life was like that of a pitiful old person who didn’t have children to take care of him in his
twilight years: he sat alone at the side, watched television, and drank hot water.
At first, Zhou Dalei still tried to include his brother and pulled him to a table. “He’s not as
great as you all think, really. His card skills are just ordinary, it’s just dogshit luck. If you
don’t believe me, let’s see. This time he’ll definitely be so bad he can’t do anything.”
In the end, Xie Yu completely neglected Dalei’s trust in him. Not only did he win all the
money he could, he even won four IOUs.
Xie Yu logged onto Question King Tournament again because he suddenly remembered that
during there was a limited-time double-experience activity this weekend.
[Question King Development Team]: Tonight, Question Kings, rejoice! Is everyone ready!
Not only are new question types being released, complete with content in every subject and
with increased difficulty, we have even released a whole new spectator mode! You can
watch from up close the top students doing questions and one-on-one PK! Competition is
open and transparent, and only ability speaks. Cheating and hacking have nowhere to hide!
When spectator mode was released, everyone discussed it in a frenzy.
“Ilovestudying”: Great. Like this, I can see just how far away I am from other people, and
how other people think about solving the questions. Maybe that will help open up new
pathways of thinking. I can approach the same question from different perspectives and I
will achieve double the outcome with half the effort!
“ServeTheHomeland”: Bless the development team. Spectator mode is really a great
surprise. I’ve always wanted to watch the gods on the leaderboard do questions.
“StudystudystudythatsallIdo”: My summer vacation was only this fruitful because of you all.
Every time I open this app, I know there’s an endless stream of questions waiting for me,
and I feel especially blessed. I did many questions I could otherwise never have
encountered, constantly challenged myself, and kept up my love for studying.
Xie Yu remained with both his ears closed to his surroundings. He started the app and
immediately started answering questions. He didn’t notice that in the upper left corner a
grey line of words had appeared, and the grey line kept changing.
Spectators: 82.
“Ilovestudying”: Top Student X’s question speed is a bit scary….
“ForABetterTomorrow”: He’s X-God, all right? A god answering questions. No wonder he’s
attacking the leaderboard so forcefully. I haven’t even finished reading the question and
he’s already solved it halfway. 666.
“StudystudystudythatsallIdo”: That diagram just now, did anyone understand it? He went
up and drew five helping lines? Is that how?
“FightingUpstream”: Helping lines are annoying, but for this lot, they’re useful. He solved
the first two sub-questions at once.
“ForABetterTomorrow”: Classmates, 666 is doing questions.
Xie Yu didn’t know that there were nearly a hundred crazy people watching him do
questions.
He just knew that at 3:30 a.m., he finally pushed Shameless out of the first position on the
leaderboard.
No.1: jsdhwdmaX.
Translation notes:
[1] Dou dizhu, a popular card game
[2] 666： Slang for ‘impressive.’

Chapter 010 - Xie Yu said: Really damn hypnotized.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Before Xie Yu went to sleep, in a very good mood, he sent a text to his friend group chat: It’s
over [/Smile]
This made Zhou Dalei’s imagination run wild again.
Zhou Dalei considered all the group chat messages this good friend of his had sent over the
last week and a half. He had long since mentally patched in a story of world-ending tragedy,
a loath-to-part, I-love-you-you-love-him, in-the-end-you-don’t-belong-to-me, if I can’t-have-
you-I’ll-destroy-you story of puppy love.
The plot twisted and turned and rose and fell, mysterious and exciting.
Zhou Dalei carefully sent a text to show concern. “… Let bygones be bygones.”
Xie Yu didn’t quite understand where this inexplicable ‘bro, I understand everything’
attitude had come from. “What do you know?”
Zhou Dalei replied: “I get it… I really get it. Don’t be upset.”
……
Later, Xie Yu would ask himself more than once: if he had known then that this game would
ruin so many things, and make him meet a crazy competitor who would relentlessly pursue
him, would he have opened this game?
—He probably wouldn’t have.
He wouldn’t have.
He’d die before he played it.
The night Xie Yu pushed “Question King” off his pedestal, everyone celebrated.
Just like poor citizens who fought against forces of evil and had finally been released, they
almost stood and loudly sang praise. Even their thought processes when they answered
questions now flowed much easier.
“StudystudystudythatsallIdo”: 25th of July. I will always remember this day. The sky over
the land of freedom is blue.
“ILikeMemorizingVocab”: One Question King has fallen, and thousands upon tens of
thousands of citizens now glimpse hope.
”TopTenInClass”: I’m going to sleep. Sweetly. Tomorrow when I get up I’ll do ten more
mock exam papers to express my joy.
But this group wasn’t happy for very long. Before “Top ten in class” had even finished his
ten mock exam papers, on the second night, the missing person Shameless suddenly logged
on. This guy kept doing questions until the morning, without sleep or rest or letting up, and
snatched back first place.
The sky over the land of freedom was no longer blue.
When Xie Yu next went online, he saw the mournful cries that filled the chat, along with
summons for X God to accept the challenge. This was really too cruel.
“EnglishClassRep”: You spectated the fight yesterday?
“ForABetterTomorrow”: …Yes. Shameless did a question halfway and found out we were
spectating, then wrote in the answer zone, “No need to look, you don’t understand
anyway.”
“ForABetterTomorrow”: He even made a side account just to observe the chat and
humiliate us.
Xie Yu: “……”
Everyone was cheering for God X, but by now Xie Yu had gone several rounds with the
Question King. One day one of them was in first place, the next the other. In order to keep
their spot on the leaderboard, both of them hadn’t slept for several nights and were tired
beyond belief. They might really die if they kept playing.
Xie Yu was pondering just giving up, going offline, and going to sleep. Fighting on was
meaningless, but he couldn’t control his hands. After answering one question, he tapped to
the next on autopilot. As he kept tapping, a system notification came up.
[Question King wishes to add you as a friend. Do you accept?]
Xie Yu refused it three or four times, but at the rate things were going, if he didn’t accept he
probably wouldn’t be able to go on doing this question.
Question King: Are you tired?
jsdhwdmaX：？
Question King: Let’s talk. Truce. I have to sleep.
The two reached an agreement. Xie Yu was planning to log out, but by the time he had
showered and climbed into bed, he unintentionally discovered that beside the online status
of his good friend ‘Question King’ was written a small line [Doing questions].
“……”
Xie Yu felt that he might have been sabotaged.
In the blink of an eye, summer vacation was more than half over. As the start of school
drew near again, Madam Gu Xuelan was even more worried than Xie Yu himself, as if she
was the one going to school. “Have you finished your homework?”
“Mm.”
“For second year, the students will be split into certain classes, right?”
“Mm.”
Gu Xuelan put a piece of fried egg into Xie Yu’s bowl and used the gentleness tactic: “Who
knows what class you’ll be placed into? This semester, rein yourself in a little. If something
happens, don’t be impulsive. I won’t quibble with you about everything that happened
before. From this semester on, do well.”
“…Mm.”
Whatever she said, Xie Yu answered, “Mm.” Gu Xuelan knew too well that after he had
finished “Mm”-ing, it was guaranteed that he’d still do what he liked. She put down her
bowl and chopsticks and didn’t say anything more. She sat across from Xie Yu and quietly
watched him eat.
Xie Yu took a piece of fish and meticulously removed the bones, then put it in Madam Gu’s
bowl. He looked up and said, “You’re not eating any more? You’re full just by watching me?”
Gu Xuelan looked at the piece of fish for many minutes. She wanted to say something but
wasn’t sure how to say it. In the end, she said carefully: “In second year are you still going
to live at school?”
Xie Yu’s hand paused.
He understood Madam Gu’s meaning.
Zhong Jie was about to enter his first year of university, and when that time came around
they basically wouldn’t see each other at home. Xie Yu and Zhong Jie quarrelled on sight
and neither of them could stomach the other. If they lived together without someone to
restrain them, they’d fight every minute.
Gu Xuelan kept asking, “You don’t want to move back home?”
Xie Yu swiftly finished the few bites of food left in his bowl. “Probably not. It’s quite nice
living in school, and the conditions aren’t bad. It’s convenient to go to class— the
classrooms are just a few steps away. And it’s not like I don’t come home over the
weekend.”
Gu Xuelan was going to say more but Xie Yu cut her off: “Mom, it’s nothing to do with you.
Don’t think too much. I live at school, not because of Zhong Jie and not because of you. It’s
my own problem.”
“Your own problem? What problem?”
Xie Yu didn’t want to say more; he wasn’t sure how to say it, anyway. “Nothing. I’m just
living at school. I’m already grown, so you don’t have to worry.”
Liyang Erzhong was very supportive of students living at school. This would help students
develop the skills for self-sufficiency.
On the first day of school, the principal had delivered a moving speech on the subject of
“living at school:” School is a place where students learn, but to all you parents: throughout
the different stages of your child’s development, you need to learn continuously, too. The
most important lesson is letting go when the time is right. They already know how to run,
and they are even running ahead of you. Will you treat them like the toddlers they were,
who couldn’t walk and couldn’t eat on their own? Of course, this requires courage, too. You
love them, but you must be brutal. You must let them fall, so that they will learn to get up
on their own.
For some reason, this speech had left an especially deep impression on Gu Xuelan.
She had to admit the principal made a good point, but sometimes… even if she understood,
so what?
”I’ll help you pack your things,” Gu Xuelan said. “Get your things ready, then let’s see what
you don’t have yet.”
As the luggage bag grew more and more full, the vacation also drew to an end.
Also drawing to an end was the summer tournament of Question King.
Xie Yu and Question King had fought until they both couldn’t open an eye. Then they both
decided on a final date on which to have a showdown. After making this appointment, they
had—in tacit agreement—not gone online again.
At first, Xie Yu had wondered if this was another ploy of Shameless’s. But he waited several
days and found that Question King really hadn’t logged in to do questions. This was rather
surprising.
Now it had been almost a month since he had last logged in. Xie Yu opened the app with the
Apple of Knowledge icon: the Apple of Knowledge spun twice on the screen before showing
a line of words: “Due to investors withdrawing their investment, the game is temporarily
offline.”
“……”
The game had really shut up shop?
And shut up shop so thoroughly at that?
Xie Yu could almost imagine what that group of study maniacs would say. “Withdrawn their
investment? Studying is so interesting, how can it be that no one is playing? Why are there
so few people who love studying?”
Xie Yu hadn’t yet recovered when he got Zhou Dalei’s phone call. “Boss Xie, are you coming
tonight? Aunt Mei said to invite you over for dinner tonight to celebrate you going back to
school. She said to give you some encouragement so that in the new semester you can dig
up your learning potential… Boss Xie? If you heard me, say something? What have you been
doing all summer break? You seemed to have been hypnotized every day.”
“Yeah, very hypnotized,” Xie Yu said. “Really damn hypnotized.”
Zhou Dalei had gotten up late. He yawned. He was only wearing a pair of pants, and held an
iron bowl decorated with white and red flowers where the paint was flaking. He walked out
of the house, put the washbasin under the tap, and turned the water on. As he listened to
the water flowing, he said, “What time are you coming? I’ll go get you at the bus stop.”
Xie Yu: “It’s only a few steps. Come and get me, my ass.”
Zhou Dalei: “You’re my bro. I don’t care, I’m coming. If I stay at home I’ll be nagged by this
group of women… Right, is Aunt Lan coming?”
“She’s not coming,” Xie Yu said. “She said she had something on.”
”I hadn’t thought about it until now, but we really haven’t seen each other in a long time.”
Zhou Dalei continued, “All right, I’ll hang up first. Washing my face.”
When Xie Yu got off the bus, Zhou Dalei had a cigarette in his mouth and wore a pair of flip-
flops. He was squatting by the road sign, smoking. The passersby who saw him all skirted
around him, thinking he was some hooligan.
Xie Yu kicked him: “Are you done acting badass? Let’s go.”
Zhou Dalei put out his cigarette on the ground, extinguishing it in a couple presses. He
dusted off his pants and stood up: “Not acting badass. Someone took away the bench that
used to be here. I should have been sitting there very elegantly waiting for you.”
Xie Yu glanced over. Indeed, over by the sign there used to be a place to sit, reserved for
people waiting for the bus. Now, only four lonely metal poles remained.
“Impressive, right,” Zhou Dalei said. “People will do anything. I’m really in awe.”
Recently, Guang Mao’s business had not been great. Xu Yanmei had free time and
remembering that Xie Yu and the others were about to start school again, she suggested
everyone get together for a reunion meal.
Xie Yu hadn’t come to this apartment building for a long time.
The walls of the two buildings were mottled, separated by only a narrow alley. If one
household were to yell, anyone across the street could hear. In the past, Zhou Dalei’s mom
used to spank him with his pants off until his buttocks were red. When she yelled, ‘Begin,’
Aunt Mei across the street would open the window, stand on the balcony and yell, “Lei-zai,
what did you do now? Tell Aunt Mei and she’ll put in a word for you.”
In comparison, Madam Gu was more concerned with appearances. She lowered her voice
when she got mad: her violence was the cold kind.
Electric lines crossed overhead the entire way as Xie Yu walked over. The whole
environment seemed dirty and messy.
Xie Yu and Zhou Dalei hadn’t even reached the door when Aunt Mei pushed the window
open. The greasy smell of fried food drifted out, mixed with the scent of home cooking.
“Don’t come up! Go to the store and get some salt, we’re out!”
Zhou Dalei raised his head: “Got it, got it.”
“Have the jasmine flowered?”
Zhu Dalei was about to say, “Let’s go to the store,” but hearing this from Xie Yu, he turned
around and followed Xie Yu’s gaze to the jasmine flower in the pot on his balcony. “Ahh—
yes, that plant Da Mei gave me when he left. It’s just a few buds, and I thought it’d just be a
decorative plant. But it’s quite the fighter.
“That guy isn’t reliable. He’s been overseas for almost half a year and still hasn’t been in
contact. Only gave me a shitty flowerpot. When he left he even said something about this
being his precious baby and told me to take care of it properly. Take care of it, my ass.”
Zhou Dalei continued, “When he gets back, gotta beat him up.”

Chapter 011 - Class 2.3, the gladiatorial arena.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The name ‘Da Mei’ sounded feminine, but he was a guy.
He was the youngest of the three of them and had always been protected. Even the
nickname ‘Da Mei’ had been jokingly given by Zhou Dalei: “Since you’re my little brother,
big brother will give you a name. How about Da Mei? From now on, we brothers will have
neat and tidy names.”
Because Da Mei was small-statured, he was always bullied by others and he often didn’t
retaliate.
Zhou Dalei protected him like he was protecting his young. When there were too many
opponents for him to beat, he called Xie Yu to go with them.
Later Da Mei had a growth spurt, shooting upwards like bamboo. He reached 1.85 m. He felt
that he had grown up. He had watched the others fighting for many years, and while he
hadn’t eaten pork he had seen pigs run.¹
One time he couldn’t take it and stood in front of Da Lei and said, “Let me teach these idiots
a lesson.”
In the end, theory and practice were as far away from each other as heaven and earth. Da
Mei couldn’t hurt them and Zhou Dalei grabbed him, turned, and ran: “You teach them a
lesson, my ass. Do you even know how to fight? Your skinny arms and skinny legs are
longer than other people’s but what good are they otherwise? —You’ll drive me mad, you
will.”
“That little brat gave me a pot of shitty flowers. What did he give you before he left?” The
more Zhou Dalei thought about it the angrier he became. “…No, this doesn’t count as giving.
At best, it’s considered lending it to me to foster.”
Xie Yu looked up at the electric lines, also seeming to remember things from the past. The
corners of his lips lifted in a smile. “A Rubik’s cube.”
Zhou Dalei: “Ah?”
Xie Yu: “A little better than yours. Before Da Mei left, he gave me a Rubik’s cube.”
Xu Yanmei’s cooking really wasn’t all that good. It looked good, but always had its own
unique flavor. Besides, she often forgot to add seasoning.
“This is really so good I can’t describe it.” Zhou Dalei swallowed the bok choy. “But I want to
ask you something. Since you didn’t put salt in the food, why did you make us go to a
concession stand and get it for you?
Xu Yanmei didn’t believe it: “Did I forget to put salt? Not possible. I think I did even better
than usual this time around. I paid a lot of attention to every step.”
Xie Yu said: “Try for yourself?”
In the end, the words “eaten their fill” could not be applied to this meal, and they ordered
shrimp takeout to save the day.
“Come, cheers—” After several cups of wine, Aunt Mei almost stood up on the table. With
one leg horizontally propped on the chair, she slapped her chest. “Come, come and drink!
Xiao Yu-er is starting school tomorrow. Everyone, say something.”
Xie Yu reached out and nudged the plate full of shrimp shells in front of Xu Yanmei to one
side, worried that she’d knock them off the table.
Zhou Dalei took the lead and stood up with his glass of water: “Boss Xie, I’ll go first. I give
you good wishes. I wish that in Liyang Sizhong, you…”
“Sizhong?” Xie Yu couldn’t hold it in any more and kicked him, laughing. “Si, your ass. I go to
Erzhong.”
Liyang Erzhong had stood for more than sixty years and was even a little famous in A City.
Its teaching resources were ordinary and its graduation rate wasn’t great, either. It was
located in the suburbs, which, to put it nicely, had a quiet, peaceful learning atmosphere
with good air. It was close to several non-mainstream schools that had been built later and
its position was really awkward.
But the school campus was really architected quite well. The school buildings had been
refurbished one by one over the past two years and it didn’t look ‘derelict’ in the least. After
all, A City was a large and famous city. Even the suburbs were bustling and the shopping
district did booming business.
The school gates were high and imposing. Looking in from the outside, aside from the green
plants and trees, the most eye-catching thing was the bronze statue in the middle of the
courtyard. Rodin’s The Thinker. On a marble pedestal, the bronze statue shone, ochre and
bright.
On the pedestal, the school’s motto was carved in small neat words: The Heart of
Innocence.
The four simple gold-embossed words gleamed beneath the sunlight.
The first day of school was very lively.
Many new students came to check in. A large banner hung across the entrance: Welcome
year 1 students to the Er Zhong family. Learn, improve, and reach glory together.
All the second-years were crowded around the noticeboard at the door to see the class
placements. It was so packed that all of them were sweating heavily. After looking for a
while, they saw something and inhaled sharply in unison. “What’s the deal with class 2.3?”
“Class 2.3? Damn, is this a slaughterhouse?”
“…Th-thank goodness I’m in class 5.”
“I suddenly felt a chill.”
“The two school tyrants in one class? What were they thinking? Do they want the school to
blow up?”
“Xie Yu, He Zhao…. Fuck me, fuck all of this.”
This group of students were all second-years. In their first year they had been placed into
more than a dozen classes. Because the school building construction had been delayed, the
year was split into two and put into the West and East buildings, looking upon each other
from afar
The two buildings were linked and there was a corridor between them, but this was mostly
for the convenience of teachers getting to their classes. The students sometimes walked
through it, but the students in the two buildings didn’t interact for the most part.
And there happened to be two villains in this series of events—
He Zhao of the East, and Xie Yu of the West.
The group of students got together and chitchatted, one sentence followed by another. At
last, the whole group fell into silence.
Their minds only contained one word: Terrifying.
The group of people who had been assigned to Class 2.3 trembled. “We probably can’t go to
school any more… both these people are legendary hooligans who kill people without
batting an eye.”
Hooligan Xie Yu hadn’t even realized what was happening. He dragged his luggage behind
him, planning to go to his dorm room and put his things down before going to the
classroom to get his books.
Gu Xuelan was going to walk him into the dorm building and even go up to see his dorm
room, but he suddenly remembered the whole stack of 5-3² he hadn’t done spread out on
the desk, and it wasn’t quite appropriate.
Although the dorm rooms were doubles, Xie Yu had always lived alone.
Er Zhong was a high school that valued freedom. Since the students were encouraged to
live at school, the school had made thorough arrangements for all things related to school
living. For example, students had the right to switch rooms at any time until they were
satisfied. They didn’t need to worry about roommate conflicts; if they didn’t get along, they
could swap out immediately.
So Xie Yu had never even seen his roommates. The moment they heard the words ‘Xie Yu’
they all took the long way around the issue; no one dared live with him at all.
Xie Yu rolled his luggage into the room, and immediately a boy with a buzzcut and wearing
round-framed spectacles ran down from upstairs. Round Glasses ran like he was on fire to
the room opposite Xie Yu’s and stopped.
Round Glasses knocked at the opposite door for a long time. “—Zhao-ge, are you there,
Zhao-ge?”
No response whatsoever.
“Is it this room or not? He suddenly said he was going to live in the dorm. Surely he’s not
blowing me off?” Round Glasses talked to himself for a while, then raised his hand to knock
on the door and found that it wasn’t even locked. With a creak, his knock pushed the door
open. “……”
“I, I’m coming in, alright….”
Round Glasses pushed the door open and went in. He glanced around and found someone
on the bed to the right.
He Zhao’s eyes were narrowed, a sleepy expression on his face. He sat on the bed with his
back to the wall and pulled a box of sweets from the head of the bed. “What’re you making
all that noise for?”
Round Glasses said mysteriously, “Zhao-ge, extremely big news. Did you see the class
placement chart? Damn, the whole year’s in an uproar.”
“Haven’t seen it.” He Zhao picked an orange lollipop from the box, unwrapped it in a couple
movements, and tossed it in his mouth. “It’s just class placements. What’s there to see?”
Round Glasses stared, stunned, and for a moment seemed to forget he was bringing big
news. “Am I going blind? What are these, Zhen Zhi lollipops? You’re eating lollipops?”
He Zhao said: “Recently quit smoking.”
Seeing Round Glasses still staring at him in a daze, like an idiot, He Zhao continued, “What,
do you want one too?”
“No, no, no, no need.” Round Glasses kept waving his hand.
He Zhao crunched the lollipop and kept the stick in his mouth. It was sweet, a little cloying.
“What’s your extremely big news?”
Only now did Round Glasses remember his mission. He slapped his leg: “Fuck, almost
forgot. Zhao-ge, this year is going to be terrible. Like fucking God himself was behind the
scenes… Xie Yu’s in your class.”
“Who?”
“Xie Yu from the east building.”
Second-year group, faculty office.
“Who did the class placements for this year? The computer or the form teachers? Surely
class placements can’t be done so haphazardly.” Even though the teachers had known the
class placements beforehand, they still couldn’t accept it.
A woman stood in front of the water cooler, getting water: “There are only three culture
classes this year, and we split classes according to arts and science streams. Class 3 is the
only science class. It’s not odd that the placements were done like this.”
Liyang Erzhong was a fine arts oriented school. Their culture stream³ couldn’t outdo
students from other schools, but in fine arts, they still had quite a good graduation rate. The
school encouraged students to pursue the fine arts from their very first year. In the second
year, they might as well split the culture students from the arts students.
The woman had finished getting her water and continued, “No matter how bad those two
kids are, they’re just children. If we haven’t tried, how do we know we can’t handle them?
Maybe the situation isn’t as bad as we think it is.”
“You can do it?” Another woman who had been sitting without saying a word couldn’t hold
it back any more. Her face was green. “If you think you can do it, then why don’t you teach
the class?”
“……” The woman who had been getting water fell silent.
”Miss Xu, don’t get angry. Xiao Liu was just making an offhand remark.” Seeing the situation
growing worse, the other teachers went over to console her. “This time, the class
placements really were too much. Nobody wants to be the homeroom teacher of class 3.”
Xu Xia was the homeroom teacher of class 2.3. She almost fainted when she first saw the
class list.
She had been in the teaching profession for over ten years. Even though she didn’t have
many outstanding accomplishments, her track record was always better than Xiao Liu’s,
and she thought that the school had no reason to put her on the spot like this. She wasn’t
aware that her forthright, think-before-you-speak, low-EQ personality had offended quite a
lot of people.
“On what basis? They made me responsible for a class like that, on what basis? Isn’t this
deliberately putting me on the spot?” Xu Xia was so mad that she didn’t even want to
prepare for the class meeting later. “What on earth was the school thinking? Did they want
to let these two pieces of rat poop wreck my pot of congee?”
Translation notes:
[1] hadn’t eaten pork but had seen pigs run: no personal experience, but has seen the
situation
[2] 5-3: A high school exam revision book.
[3] Culture and fine arts are two different academic streams that high school students can
take. This ‘fine arts’ is different from the ‘arts/science division’ in the culture stream, which
is more like a ‘humanities/sciences’ division.

Chapter 012 - What the hell is your damage.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
After Xu Xia’s colleagues consoled her in the faculty office, Xu Xia finally felt the anger
lodged in her heart loosen. Only then did she take the class register and go to class. It was
already more than ten minutes past the class meeting’s start time when she left the office.
Xie Yu hadn’t intended to be late. He had put away all his things, which had taken some
time, before setting off for the school building. He had expected to be stopped in the
classroom doorway and hadn’t expected the form teacher to arrive even later than he did.
As Xie Yu passed by the windows, the classroom, which had been lively with chattering,
suddenly went silent. Everyone sat up straight and looked straight ahead, even though
there was nothing written on the blackboard.
“Classmates, my surname is Liu and my name is Cunhao. That’s right, Liu Cunhao. I’m
guessing that everyone has more or less heard stories about me. I was class rep of class 1.7
last year and I have a lot of experience with managing a class. But I hope that when we pick
a class rep later, that you please don’t pick me.”
Everyone was as quiet as chickens. The boy stood with his back to the windows, his words
flowing continuously.
He was quite a silver-tongued boy, and he gesticulated with his hands when he spoke.
“Don’t pick me. Give the opportunity to someone who needs it more, especially someone
who has never been class rep. I think we very much need to give them a chance to stretch
themselves.”
The people near him winked wildly, hinting to him to look out of the window, but Liu
Cunhao didn’t notice their intentions at all. “…All in all, don’t pick me. What are you doing?
Don’t make eyes at me. I don’t intend to have an early romance.”
—Xie Yu raised a hand and knocked on the door.
Liu Cunhao turned to look in the direction of the sound and was instantly rendered
speechless. “……”
“……”
Liu Cunhao’s deskmate lowered his voice and whispered, “Hao-ge, everyone was hinting so
obviously, but you were so self-absorbed…”
Liu Cunhao’s heart contained hundreds and thousands of words he wasn’t sure how to
speak. All he could do was silently sit down and pretend nothing had ever happened. “If
something’s up couldn’t you damn well say it directly? What did you wink and nudge for?”
Xie Yu had become famous early on.
When he first entered the school, the wild rumors that he had copied his exam answers had
given him the status of a god of cheating in everyone’s hearts.
At first, the discussion went in this direction: This guy is powerful. Too powerful. Even in
the high school entrance exams he dared to cheat. I heard that even if his original grades
were multiplied by three, it wouldn’t be enough to get into Er Zhong.
Later, Xie Yu had skipped class and gotten into a fight outside school. One against five. The
punishment was a public shaming in front of the school. It was posted on the noticeboard in
big font for nearly a semester. With one fight, he had made his name.
Right now, Xie Yu stood in the doorway with his bag slung over one shoulder and his hands
stuck in his pockets. His expression was blank.
The classroom was already full of people. Once people heard about the class placement
situation, even the students on sick leave had asked the classmates they knew to reserve a
seat for them with their bags. They were worried to death that when school started, a living
King of Hell would be sitting next to them.
Xie Yu glanced around. There were only two empty seats in the second column of the last
row. So he walked toward the last row at a leisurely pace.
Some students whispered to each other: “Is this all right? Doesn’t this mean the two of
them will sit together? One mountain can’t house two tigers. What if some chemical
reaction happens between the two of them? Will the classroom explode?”
“Then, do you want to go sit with Xie Yu?”
“…I don’t want to die yet.”
About five or six minutes later, Xu Xia finally walked into class, books in hand. “Is everyone
here already? Who’s missing?”
Liu Cunhao had said he didn’t want to be the class rep, but he was used to being the class
rep. His body didn’t listen to his mind and he reflexively raised his hand and stood up. “Miss
Xu, one person isn’t here yet.”
Xie Yu had drunk some wine last night and was still groggy now. He pillowed his head on
his arms and went to sleep.
Xu Xia looked around, her gaze resting on a certain someone in the last row for a while
before moving away with a frown. “Let’s not bother with the people who aren’t here. After
the class meeting, go downstairs to get your books. You know where to get them, right?
Then I’ll start with some items on the class meeting agenda…”
Xu Xia didn’t want to bother with the person who was late, but the person who was late
swaggered up to the door.
“Reporting—” He Zhao stood in the doorway. He said very politely. “Sorry, I’m late.”
The silhouette in the doorway was eye-catching. Black T-shirt, dark blue jeans folded up at
the ankles. When he spoke, his voice held a casual laugh. One could tell at a glance that he
was a hot commodity fought over by girls every day. He was the type who would cause
trouble but no one could stay mad at after taking one look at him.
Not at all like a hooligan, lazy and languid and shapeless. He seemed quite alert.
Xu Xia was surprised.
She hadn’t taught Xie Yu and He Zhao before, but she had heard the stories that had spread
through the school. Her mental image of them had been of two boys who walked with a
slouch, didn’t have any skills, kicked tables and chairs, and didn’t wear their clothes
properly.
Today, she had seen something new—although her impression of Xie Yu was still only that
of the back of his head.
Xu Xia had a child who was almost in middle school, and her heart wasn’t much like a
young girl’s any more. She had disliked He Zhao coming in and she still kind of disliked him.
She was about to take out her anger on him, the words on the tip of her tongue, but before
she could speak, He Zhao stretched out his hand and produced someone from behind.
“Please, at least let me explain the reason I was late.”
Round Glasses stumbled out, unceremoniously dragged by He Zhao. “Hi everyone, I’m Shen
Jie from class 2.8. Today, I was suddenly taken ill in the corridor. I owe everything to brave
Classmate He who lent a hand in my time of need. I have chronic… uh, chronic…”
Shen Jie, who had suddenly forgotten what illness he had, stammered for a long time.
He Zhao reminded him: “Chronic non-atrophic gastritis.”
“Couldn’t you have given me a simpler one?” Shen Jie said.
He Zhao: “The longer the name the more serious it seems.”
Xu Xia’s stomach was full of anger she couldn’t vent.
These two were ignoring her like she was an idiot?
“You two are so harmonized. Are you in an acapella group?” She pointed to the audience. “I
don’t want to waste everyone’s time. Find an empty seat and sit down. Right there. Beside
the one who’s lying down and sleeping.”
Xie Yu, who was lying on the desk and sleeping, twitched. He might have heard something,
or perhaps he had felt several dozen pairs of eyes watching him. He raised his head and sat
up, slowly opening his eyes. “……”
He Zhao: “……”
The atmosphere was a little strange.
And very mysterious.
Liu Cunhao passed a note to his deskmate. On it was written: Are they going to fight?
His deskmate replied: I can already feel the ripples of power in the air. Very vicious.
Under the gazes of ten thousand pairs of eyes, He Zhao only said one word: “Friend?”
Xie Yu: “……”
“It’s fate,” He Zhao said. “What a coincidence.”
Although no one knew what was going on, and no one knew when these two big bros had
crossed the space between the West and East buildings to forge a friendship, all of Class 2.3
collectively heaved a sigh of relief.
They had initially imagined a terrifying, heartrending scene where blood flowed like a
river.
Xu Xia went over some things: seating arrangements, class rep selection, and several pieces
of homework to be done ahead of the next class. She concluded the first part of the meeting,
saying that she hoped everyone would welcome the new semester with a fresh start.
“There’s still some time left. I’ll go down the register. When your name is called, come up
and briefly introduce yourself.”
Amidst the applause, He Zhao also leisurely clapped several times.
Xie Yu was dizzy and lay down again.
“I’m called Wan Da. I have many interests, such as reading, sports…”
“Hi, everyone. My name is Xue Xisheng. I hope that everyone can fight together, strive, and
improve.”
“Fu Pei.”
“Ding Lianghua…”
He Zhao listened for a while, then tapped Xie Yu’s shoulder. He turned and asked, “Hey, do
you know who Xie Yu is?”
Xie Yu, lying on the desk, also turned to look at him. “Ah?”
The student up front had a shy personality and spoke like a buzzing mosquito. He hemmed
and hawed for a long time about his hobbies and interests before finally managing to say,
“Swimming.” He walked away from the podium like he had put down a heavy burden.
He Zhao added: “It’s that guy, west building, that non-mainstream idiot who wears black
nail polish.”
He Zhao was somewhat curious about the West Building Big Bro of legend. He didn’t much
care for the pile of great accomplishments belonging to Xie Yu of the West, but the black
nail polish had left a particularly deep impression for some reason. He had already looked
around the class and could only sigh that wise people didn’t show themselves; Xie Yu had
removed the black nail polish and He Zhao couldn’t see who it was.
Xie Yu looked at him with a complicated expression.
“Friend, do you know him or not?” He Zhao followed up. “…Actually, I’m quite interested in
him. If I have a chance, I want to go a couple rounds.”
Xu Xia announced from the podium: “Next, Xie Yu.”
Xie Yu slowly and leisurely stood up without looking at He Zhao’s face to see what
expression he was wearing. He walked to the podium and used chalk to write the two
words “Xie Yu” on the blackboard. His handwriting was sharp and quite beautiful.
Then he tossed the chalk back in the box, dusted off his hands, and made a short and sharp
self-introduction: “Xie Yu. Also, I don’t wear black nail polish.”
When Xie Yu said the last sentence, his gaze was fixed on a certain idiot. But that idiot
surnamed He wasn’t embarrassed at all. Even amidst the silence, as the whole audience
wasn’t sure what to say, the idiot took the lead and started applauding. The epitome of tact.
“Good! Well said!”
Xie Yu: “……”
Fuck it.
After Xie Yu finished his self-introduction and returned to his seat, He Zhao stared at Xie
Yu’s hands without even attempting to hide it. Xie Yu was bored and was doodling on some
paper. Noticing he was being stared at, he threw down his pen. “Are you sick.”
He Zhao said: “You really don’t wear it? The you in the legend isn’t like that.”
In the legends of the West Building Big Bro, the nail polish played a very important role. At
least, the reason He Zhao had remembered the name Xie Yu was because of the non-
mainstream nail polish.
“Legend my **.”
He Zhao went straight for Xie Yu’s hand. “Don’t move. Let me see.”
Xie Yu hadn’t expected he’d go straight for him. By the time Xie Yu recovered, his hand was
already grasped in He Zhao’s.
Xie Yu’s hands looked quite elegant, even gentle.
Clean, long-fingered with prominent bones. His nails were well-kept and neat.
When Xie Yu was young and his living conditions had still been good, Gu Xuelan had
suggested he learn to play the piano. She said that his fingers were slender and long, and
thus very suitable for the piano. Later, after Xie Yu started happily raising his fists against
others, some parents would bring their children to Xie Yu’s house almost every day saying,
‘what’s up with your kid, why does he hit people?’
Gu Xuelan had never mentioned piano again.
He Zhao had just caught the hand and hadn’t even had the time to inspect it closely before
Xie Yu straight up exploded. He snatched his hand back: “…Fuck, what the hell is your
damage.”

Chapter 013 - Got a lot of nerve, have you?

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The two students sitting in the row in front quietly pulled their chairs forward a little, the
chairs making small sounds as they dragged on the floor. They pulled forward until their
chests were right up against the side of the table, and only stopped when they were at the
point their chests were tight and they almost couldn’t draw breath. They did everything
they could to put distance between them and the two big bros behind them.
He Zhao: “Surely you’re overreacting. I just touched you.”
“Get your ass the hell away,” Xie Yu said. “Don’t casually touch me.”
He Zhao didn’t say anything, just stuck out his hand in front of Xie Yu.
Xie Yu glanced at He Zhao and remembered He Zhao’s line from before: ‘I’m quite
interested in him’. “You want to go a round?”
“Go on, touch me. I’m letting you touch me back.”
Xie Yu: “……”
The last student finished their self-introduction and walked away. Xu Xia coughed, hinting
to a certain two students to follow the classroom rules. “We’ll end the class meeting here.
Dorm students, remember to follow the school conduct rules. I don’t want to spend time
after class dealing with your extracurricular matters. Have some self-awareness.”
Xu Xia handed out the timetable and some school notices, then said, “Liu Cunhao, you be
the temporary class rep. You have experience.”
Liu Cunhao’s heart felt like ashes: “… Ah, yes.”
Not even two minutes later, He Zhao asked again, “Hey, so what’s the real story behind your
nail polish?”
Xie Yu thought: this person is really very frustrating.
The incident of the black nail polish.
Xie Yu hadn’t realized it would leave such a heavy and colorful brushstroke upon his life
story.
About half a year ago, Black Water Street had held a dance competition.
The Residents’ Association put up banners in the streets calling for people to sign up. The
advertising was very heavy-handed. However, going by the wording of the banners, it was
obvious that this competition’s target audience was not youths. On them was written,
“Regain your youth! Regain the confidence you had when you were young!”
At that time, Da Mei had just received his acceptance letter from a U.S. university. Not long
after, he would have to leave. He insisted that they sign up and participate before he left
Zhou Dalei sure didn’t know how to dance, and refused on the spot. “I don’t want to. It’s too
embarrassing. What are you thinking—going to compete with a bunch of Residents’
Association aunties in dancing? Are you mad?”
Xie Yu also said, “Da Mei, this is not up for discussion.”
Not only the Residents’ Association aunties but even Xu Yanmei and Lei’s mom had started
making preparations for this dance competition.
Aunt Mei had even dragged Xie Yu to the plaza to see their elegant, complex fan dance. They
held green fans, the staves glittering in the light.
When Lei’s mom was young, she was said to be the most beautiful girl within ten
kilometres and eight villages. But by now, she had eaten her way to more than 100 kilos.
When they finished dancing, Xie Yu stood in the center of the plaza. With a hundred mixed
emotions, he squeezed out two words: “… Quite good.”
Da Mei was extraordinarily serious this time. They had thought that this was a fit of
temporary enthusiasm, but Da Mei bugged them for three days.
This had never happened before.
Zhou Dalei begged: “Give me a reason, Da Mei. Give me a reason that’s stronger than my
shame”
Da Mei sighed. “Big bro, I’m about to leave. You’re so cruel. Won’t you fulfill even this tiny
wish of mine?”
Zhou Dalei: “You might as well ask me to pluck the stars from the sky, little rascal.”
Da Mei: “……”
Da Mei then glanced at Xie Yu, who didn’t say anything and straight up left. “I’m going home
for dinner.”
In the end, they didn’t outlast the little rascal.
Da Mei called the two of them out on a pitch-black night. They squatted at the corner of the
street enduring the cold wind. Zhou Dalei pulled his clothes tighter, and bowed his head to
protect his styled hair, but it was still blown about, making him look like an idiot.
“Da Mei, what are you doing? In the middle of the night?” Zhou Dalei felt that sometimes
even good friends needed to be taught a lesson. “Looking for a beating?”
Da Mei squatted in front of them, back to the wind, controlling the emotions overwhelming
him. “Actually, there’s a girl I have a crush on, but I don’t dare confess to her. You know it
too, I’m about to leave… LDR is too painful and I don’t want to think about it. Not in this
lifetime. But, before I leave, I want to let her remember a cool and handsome image of me.”
Xie Yu: “……”
Zhou Dalei was also about the age to be seeking out love and romance, or maybe he was
just blown silly by the cold wind at 3 a.m. With a sniff and some hesitation, he wavered: “Is
there no other way to show her the cool and handsome image of you? Is this the only way?”
In the end, they did the competition.
But when the three of them stood in line to register, the atmosphere was so awkward it
almost suffocated them on the spot.
“… Old man, look at these three young guys.”
“These three young guys.”
“Young guys?”
Xie Yu’s trio: “……”
Da Mei was very sensitive to the trends of the zeitgeist. If time had permitted, he might
even have fashioned a performing costume for himself. Instead, when he pulled out a bottle
of black nail polish, Xie Yu refused: “This is the cool image you want to show off?”
Da Mei put the nail polish on and said, “It’s damn cool, really. Xie-ge, please believe me. Last
night I watched a lot of videos. The cool guys all dance like this.”
Thanks to Da Mei, their stage image was not only at the very forefront of non-mainstream,
but also contained many strange and odd elements.
The day of the competition, Xie Yu skipped class.
They hadn’t rehearsed enough. Xie Yu’s movements were awkward. Da Mei’s dancing was
elegant and graceful, but looked very humiliating. Zhou Dalei– don’t mention him. Hid
dancing was downright awful but he thought he was quite good.
In the end, the three of them danced at the venue without knowing what they were doing.
They didn’t even remember the steps right, and found every way to crash into each other.
They resented each other for getting in the way and restricting each other’s creative
freedom.
The next day, in class, Xie Yu realized he hadn’t removed the nail polish.
Zhou Dalei was even worse off. He was participating in a small online competition, rather
formal, even livestreamed to a small audience. That night, a few dozen thousand people
saw his black-nail-polished hand holding the mouse, five black nails on his other hand
clacking nonstop on the keyboard.
These matters weren’t that important. There was only one thing Xie Yu cared about more:
up till Da Mei left, they didn’t find out who the girl was.
“Actually, maybe, I have a very daring guess. Do you think Da Mei fell for one of the middle-
aged aunties? And an auntie from our Residents’ Association at that? But he was shy, and
worried that we would judge him with worldly eyes… Fuck, this is too far beyond the pale…
but if not, then none of this makes sense. There were no girls in the audience at all.”
Xie Yu hadn’t gone into detail. He Zhao heard the gist and nodded. “Oh… for stage effect.”
The tone of his voice was very obvious and Xie Yu said, “You seem very disappointed.”
He Zhao said: “Ah… a little.”
Xu Xia announced the end of the meeting and everyone hurried in all directions.
Several boys had stood in the doorway of Class 3 for a while, laughing and talking. Now
they pulled open the window, leaned in and yelled, “—He Zhao, let’s go play basketball.”
Broadly speaking, He Zhao’s people skills were pretty good.
He had a personality that attracted bad friends. Although his ‘hooligan’ reputation was now
earth-shaking, in first year, there were a bunch of guys whose friendships with him were
solid as metal. They would get together to play sports, or go to an internet cafe to play
online games.
Shen Jie was among them. When Xu Xia left, she glanced coldly at him. Shen Jie was about to
say “Let’s go play basketball,” but before the words left his mouth they changed, mechanical
and raw: “—I’m not going. I’ll watch you guys play. My stomach still hurts a bit.”
He Zhao seemed to be in a good mood. He sat in his seat, angling his body backward, and
waved to them: “Go on, I’ll see you on the court.”
He bent and pulled a mask from his trouser pocket, and was about to put it on when he
seemed to remember something. His movements halted and he asked casually, “Want to
play basketball?”
Xie Yu stood up and walked out: “No.”
He Zhao shrugged and didn’t say anything.
Xie Yu was almost to the door when He Zhao suddenly called his name from behind: “Xie
Yu?”
Xie Yu turned around, leaned against the doorframe, and looked at him. On his face was
written “Spit it out quickly” and “You’re very annoying.”
He Zhao had already put on the mask: “Nothing. Just getting used to my new deskmate’s
name.”
“……”
He Zhao continued, “Let’s take care of each other in future, deskmate.”
Gu Xuelan called Xie Yu at six in the evening.
“Have you eaten dinner? Did you meet your teachers and friends?” Gu Xuelan asked. “How
is your deskmate?”
Xie Yu had had a deskmate in first year, but after his reputation got worse and worse, the
teachers had taken precautionary measures and let him sit alone. Gu Xuelan must have
heard that he now had a deskmate, and quickly called to ask about it.
Xie Yu internally said: … He’s not much.
But to avoid trouble, he said: “All right. Sunny, outgoing and likes sports. Though his grades
aren’t that good.”
Gu Xuelan wasn’t sure why her son who got last place in every exam would so casually look
down on his new deskmate for having ‘not that good’ grades.
She gave him another few reminders, the gist of which was to not get in trouble and to
study hard. Xie Yu reacted neutrally, and didn’t say anything aside from “Mm.”
“Then I won’t say any more,” Gu Xuelan said. “Think about it for yourself. Mom can’t keep
you in line any more. Almost grown up… don’t be so reckless.”
Xie Yu said: “Mm, you should rest early.”
Xie Yu didn’t get in trouble, but his sunny, outgoing deskmate who liked sports caused a big
mess on the first day of school.
……Mischievous to a fault.
He had gone to play basketball and managed to beat up a boy whose grades were stellar
and who was always in the top three of the year.
Xu Xia walked out of the faculty office. Her superiors were very angry and she had not been
lectured like that in a very long time. They had asked her how she managed her classroom
and her students, to have something like that happen on the first day of school, and she had
had to stand there with her head bowed listening to the long telling-off. Out of frustration
and embarrassment, her face went green for a while and then red for a while. When she
entered the faculty office she slammed her tray heavily on the desk.
The other teachers were shocked. They looked up at her, and seeing her terrible
expression, for a while no one dared ask what had happened.
At this time Liu Cunhao arrived to turn in the school notice his parents had signed. Xu Xia
was so mad her face was blank and her tone was cold: “Is He Zhao in the classroom? Call
him over.”
Liu Cunhao was quite scared. Everyone said Xie Yu of the West was the more terrifying of
the two, always going about alone and high and mighty, and that the one of the East was
more down-to-earth and a more interesting guy.
But Liu Cunhao was even more afraid of He Zhao.
He had personally witnessed He Zhao fight.
Liu Cunhao had still been in first year then. Halfway through class he had a stomachache,
and he raised his hand to tell the teacher that he needed to use the toilet. He grabbed tissue
and ran out, but when he reached the toilet door he saw a “Maintenance” sign.
He was about to go downstairs to relieve his biological needs when he heard someone in
the toilet begging for mercy: “I was wrong… don’t beat me, I was wrong…”
Liu Cunhao paused a moment, then set one foot in and carefully glanced inside.
He Zhao clasped a cigarette between two fingers and stood in front of a boy kneeling on the
floor.
Although He Zhao’s uniform was neat and tidy, the word ‘law-abiding had nothing in the
slightest to do with him. He Zhao narrowed his eyes and spit out a cloud of smoke. When he
wasn’t smiling, his whole person radiated a bone-deep chill and a smothering sense of
tyranny.
—Completely different from his usual gregarious, affable image.
He Zhao flicked off the ash, dark clouds seeming to mass in his eyes. Then he squatted,
grabbed the person by the hair, and forced him to look up. “Got a lot of nerve, have you?”

Chapter 014 - You miss your deskmate that much?

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Class 2.3 had a private group chat.
Almost every class made a private group chat. The point of that was to guard against
teachers and enforce freedom of speech. In the schoolwide group chat, the various subject
teachers were all present and some things couldn’t be said. Some teachers got along with
the students and were all right, but a middle-aged woman like Xu Xia who was often very
stern and unsmiling, one could tell at a glance that there was a deep generational gap
between them.
Class 3’s private group chat was a little different.
Not only did they have to guard against the teachers, they also had to guard against a
certain two characters who tyrannized the school.
[Anonymous A]: …I heard He Zhao beat up Yang Wenyuan?
[Anonymous B]: My friend is in Yang Wenyuan’s class. He said he was beaten up so badly
he’s still lying in the hospital now.
[Anonymous C]: Yang Wenyuan from Class 8?
The private group chat kept sending notifications. Liu Cunhao looked at the words, “Yang
Wenyuan,” and the scene in his memory that had once scared him down to his guts
gradually merged with this name.
“Don’t hit me… I was wrong…”
He Zhao grabbed the guy’s hair and said softly, “Didn’t I warn you. Didn’t I fucking warn
you.”
Yang Wenyuan knelt on the ground. He was a very skinny person and his face was covered
in acne, all pits and bumps. The toilet’s tiled floor was not clean and there were puddles of
water on it. He cried as he said, “Please let me go.”
When Liu Cunhao told He Zhao to go to the faculty office, Shen Jie was visiting from the
other class. He had found himself a chair and sat beside He Zhao, and didn’t seem to feel at
all like he was someone from another class: “…Hey, you by the window, could you please
close the blinds?”
He Zhao said, “Who are you ordering about? Go close them yourself.”
Shen Jie stood up, closed the blinds, and sat back down. He had gym class next and was very
bored. Seeing He Zhao holding his phone and not putting it down, he asked out of curiosity,
“Zhao-ge, what game are you playing?”
He Zhao ignored him, scooched over to Xie Yu, and showed him the screen. “Ace, come up
with another strategy for me?”
Xie Yu delivered two words to him: “Get lost.”
“……”
Shen Jie was impossibly curious. “Let me see. I’ll do it. I’ll find you a strategy.”
“Get lost,” He Zhao said. “Go back to your own class, it’s cooler there”
Shen Jie was persistent and didn’t give up, and finally he caught a glimpse of it. A pink
interface. A cartoon girl with long loose hair wore white underwear and stood beside a
closet, blinking.
Shen Jie was stunned speechless. “This… is this that… that…”
“The dressup game countless elementary school girls are crazy about,” Xie Yu said calmly.
He Zhao played the game through the whole class period, and Xie Yu was also pestered by
him for the whole class period.
Every time He Zhao confidently finished matching up an outfit, his score was
unsatisfactory. He tried one level many times and eventually tossed his phone in front of
Xie Yu: “Deskmate, help a guy out?”
Matching clothes was like playing cards: both needed a little luck. Xie Yu was annoyed
beyond belief and picked several pieces at random. “Are you stupid… A game like this? ID
SoftLittleCutie? You’re going very far with this act.”
Xie Yu finished his selection. When the score appeared, it was unexpectedly high.
“Ace,” He Zhao’s praise was sincere. “This set of clothes looks so ugly but it got such a high
score.”
Shen Jie felt the world waver around him. He would rather believe something was wrong
with his own taste. “Ah? This game… is fun? What’s special about it?”
He Zhao was minutely scrutinizing the next set of clothes and ignored him.
Xie Yu copied the homework, closed his textbook, and said, “What’s so special? It’s
especially idiotic.”
Liu Cunhao entered the classroom through the back door and stood in front of He Zhao. “Go
to the faculty office. Miss Xu’s looking for you.”
He Zhao made a noise of assent and ignored him completely. After a while he looked up and
found Liu Cunhao still standing in front of him. “…Was there anything else?”
Liu Cunhao had held his words in for a long time, and finally he plucked up the courage to
say: “Don’t think you can do as you please.You beat up Yang Wenyuan this badly…”
Shen Jie hurriedly cut in: “Wait. Yang Wenyuan? What?”
The classroom was very noisy during the ten minutes between classes and nobody noticed
what they were talking about in the corner.
He Zhao had understood. He smiled, put his phone away, and said thoughtfully, “Ah, so it’s
like that.”
Shen Jie: “…Like what?”
Xie Yu considered himself an uninvolved bystander and didn’t react at all.
Liu Cunhao was very scared, but he was determined. For quite some time he had chastised
himself for not putting a stop to things when he saw his classmate being bullied. His first
reaction had been to turn tail and run. His new dislike stacked with his old grudges and he
felt a rush of determination.
He Zhao’s expression was chilly and Liu Cunhao was terrified that he really had provoked
him.
But He Zhao just tossed his phone to Xie Yu. “Help a guy out, play two more rounds for me. I
have to beat that person, Creme Brulee, in my friends list.”
Xie Yu had the phone in his hand, and before he could refuse, He Zhao left.
The bell chimed, signalling the start of class.
Shen Jie dragged his chair out of the classroom, murmuring in confusion: “…Beat up what
person? When did Zhao-ge beat up Yang Wenyuan? He didn’t. Am I losing my memory?”
After He Zhao left, he didn’t come back to class all day.
When he came back the next day, it was as if nothing had happened.
A teacher couldn’t bear it and asked Xu Xia, “Miss Xu, that matter with He Zhao from your
class—what happened? Is it settled?”
Xu Xia said tiredly, “He’ll die before he admits it. What can I do with him?”
At the faculty office, He Zhao’s expression remained blank. He had asked the inspection
officer to ask Yang Wenyuan for the medical report and describe clearly how he had gotten
each of his injuries.
Yang Wenyuan was so terrified he couldn’t speak.
Xu Xia felt that this matter didn’t warrant investigation at all. Anyone with a brain could tell
at a glance what had happened. She asked He Zhao to admit his mistake, apologize, and
write a reflection essay. After this punishment, the matter would be concluded.
He Zhao was clearly unwilling. Although he smiled, his tone was cold beyond belief:
“Apologize for what? Goody-two-shoes Yang, you’re very good at touching porcelain.
¹ The moment your lips touch, you say I beat you up.”
Xu Xia couldn’t take thinking back to the situation any more. She waved a hand: “Let’s not
talk about him. When we talk about him, my chest hurts.”
“Have you beaten Creme Brulee yet?” He Zhao was very focused. The moment the class bell
rang, he walked in through the rear door, stood next to Xie Yu, and crooked a finger. He
bent over and knocked on Xie Yu’s side of the desk. “Hey.”
Xie Yu always used the morning self-study period to catch up on sleep, and now he got a
headache from the knocking. “Beaten, my ass. Go play it yourself.”
He Zhao sat down and asked, “So where’s my phone?”
Xie Yu dug in his desk drawer, found the phone, and tossed it over.
He Zhao caught it with one hand. When he tried to turn it on, he found it was out of power.
Yesterday’s incident between He Zhao and Yang Wenyuan caused a ruckus in their class
year and rumors flew all around.
Rumor had it that these two school tyrants always caused problems, but usually their
conflicts were with people outside school. These fights weren’t happening right next to
them, so people could treat them as rumors and discuss it over lunch, exclaiming, “badass,”
several times.
But He Zhao had now shown his entire hand and the person he had beaten up was someone
recognized by the whole year as a good student.
[Anonymous A]: He came to class today… Wah, he’s talking to Xie Yu.
[Anonymous A] □□ and with Xie Yu at that. Fearless. Terrifying. I don’t dare move.
[Anonymous B]: Yang Wenyuan got out of the hospital today. Shen Jie grabbed him by the
collar in class and called him shameless… Is there really some hidden goings-on?
[Anonymous C]: What hidden goings-on can there be? Embarrassment and frustration just
turned into anger, that’s all. Shen Jie isn’t a good student, either.
Xie Yu slept through the morning self-study period.
He Zhao had borrowed a portable phone charger from someone and sat off to the side with
his head bowed, playing on his phone.
The class after morning self-study was Xu Xia’s class. The moment she entered the
classroom she pointed at He Zhao and said, “You go outside and listen to class from there.
Stand in the doorway and don’t come into the classroom.”
When the students in class saw Xu Xia’s manner, their guesses as to what had happened in
“the fighting incident” became more and more certain.
Most likely, He Zhao was indeed the culprit.
He Zhao didn’t much care. Without a word, he took his phone and the phone charger and
walked right out.
Xie Yu glanced at his departing back. It was the same school uniform the entire school
wore, but He Zhao still managed to cut a figure of a good student in it. Narrow waist,
straight back, clean clothes, and he didn’t do as others did and pull the jacket zipper down
low. Only the phone he held in his hand and the long charging cord betrayed his true
nature.
He Zhao might have felt someone looking at him, because when he got to the doorway he
glanced back.
Before Xie Yu could turn away, he heard Xu Xia say from the podium, “Xie Yu, you miss your
deskmate that much?”
Xie Yu, who had taken the bullet even though he was innocent: “…the fuck?”
“If you miss him so much, then you go out, too. Go and stand with him,” Xu Xia continued.
“Go.”
In the doorway of classroom 2.3, two people stood throughout the first morning period.
“Quite faithful, aren’t you.” He Zhao had found a corner, and as the phone charged he kept
playing the dressup game. He looked down as he said, “Missed me?”
Next to him, Xie Yu really wasn’t sure what to say. He replied with a single sound, pregnant
with meaning: “Heh.”
He Zhao: “……”
Xie Yu didn’t much want to look at Xu Xia whose resentment was written all over her face.
Since the day he came back to school, he had felt it. This form teacher clearly had
preconceived notions about them. Regardless of what actually happened during He Zhao’s
incident, and who was in the right and who was in the wrong, she had already used this
incident to draw conclusions about Xie Yu, this as-yet unexploded dangerous material
whom she didn’t like the look of, either. She felt that these two were of a kind.
Looking at Xu Xia rolling her eyes at them nonstop, he worried she’d injure her eyes.
“Ace, take a look. Is this checkered skirt better or that pink one?” He Zhao was so dedicated
to this dressup game, it was almost touching. “Or a different outfit entirely?”
Xie Yu watched him play for a while and came to a conclusion about a ‘rule’ that couldn’t
really be termed a rule: “Pick the uglier one.”
He Zhao asked, “Are you serious?”
Xie Yu: “I think that with your aesthetic sense, if you play this game backwards, you might
get some unexpected results.”
It was clearly a diss, but He Zhao actually took it to heart. He thought about it for a while
and said, “Damn, I think this approach of yours is not bad.”
“……”
“You have some pretty good ideas.”
Translation notes:
[1] Touching porcelain: “playing the victim.” He Zhao then makes a wordplay on touch.

Chapter 015 - Renminbi Player

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
They stood till the end of class. Xu Xia finished the lesson and picked up her materials to
leave the room, and He Zhao even said good-naturedly, “See you, Miss Xu.”
Xu Xia’s chest was tight and she found it hard to breathe. She ignored it and kept walking.
“Do you know why she’s angry?” He Zhao was in quite a good mood. He put a hand on Xie
Yu’s shoulder and they walked to class together. “She’s preparing to transfer to the
Experimental High School, a municipal key school. Made all her connections and
everything. Now, a good student under her tutelage—which is to say, me—is standing in
her way…”
Xie Yu was uninterested in gossip. “Take your hand off me.”
He Zhao felt that this deskmate of his was really cruel.
He had initially just put a hand on Xie Yu’s shoulder. On hearing Xie Yu’s complaint, he
slung his whole arm around Xie Yu. From an outsider’s point of view they might have been
hugging. “Not letting go.”
Xie Yu was about to kick him when He Zhao buried his head in Xie Yu’s neck and laughed.
“Calm down, friend.”
“Calm down, your grandpa.”
[Anonymous A]: Classmates, there’s a situation in the three o’clock direction.
[Anonymous B]: woc,¹ I saw it. What are they doing?
[Anonymous C]: I’d rather believe that the two of them are fighting….
Xie Yu, who wasn’t yet aware of the private group chat, thought their new class was a little
strange.
Sometimes everyone in the class went quiet at the same time and the classroom would be
entirely silent. When they were done with the silence, they would raise their heads and
look at each other with a sense of tacit understanding. Very mysterious.
He Zhao had borrowed the portable phone charger from a boy in the next row. He went to
return it but the boy didn’t dare to take it, looking like he wanted to just offer up the
charger and be done with things.
He Zhao put it on the desk: “Thanks.”
“…No, no problem.” The boy spoke in a high-pitched whine. His hands were under his desk,
hiding something, and his whole body was extremely tense. He Zhao didn’t hear what he
was saying and was about to ask, but the moment he opened his mouth the guy gave a full-
body flinch.
He Zhao: “……” Am I that terrifying.
Only after He Zhao had walked away did the guy carefully take his phone back out.
In the blink of an eye, two weeks had passed since school started.
Xie Yu watched wide-eyed as He Zhao got better and better at the dressup game.
Everything he matched up got a high score.
It was unimaginable.
Had his offhand remark really let He Zhao discover the path to enlightenment?
“Nah. I tried your tactic and it didn’t save me.” He Zhao he took a screenshot of his highest
score to date, then exited the game. Calmly, he said to his deskmate, “I paid.”
He Zhao continued, “I, your deskmate, am the legendary Renminbi player.”²
Xie Yu: “……”
He Zhao: “I’m so strong now I even scare myself.”
Xie Yu said mockingly, “SoftLittleCutie, you really surprise me.”
“I paid fair and square. Is it so shameful to pay?” As He Zhao spoke, the shoulders of the
guys in the row in front of them started shaking.
They sat very close to the row behind and clearly heard everything Xie Yu and He Zhao said
to each other.
They had listened in for two weeks. Sometimes, they really wanted to laugh till they
couldn’t stop. But they were worried that they’d laugh too much and catch the big bros’
attentions, so they endured it.
Time passed and the two of them felt that the school tyrants were nothing like the rumors
made them out to be. They were even… kind of cute.
When the school tyrants slept in class, they asked their deskmate to help keep an eye on
the teacher. Tyrant Xie usually ignored Tyrant He, but every time the teacher called He
Zhao to stand up or stand in the doorway as punishment, He Zhao always had a hundred
excuses and made Xie Yu back him up.
After this happened several times, Xie Yu finally started taking He Zhao’s unreasonable
requests seriously. When a teacher passed by, he rolled up his book and gave He Zhao a
hard greeting to the back of his head: “Get up.”
As He Zhao spoke, he opened QQ and posted a status to brag about his battle record:
[/Image][/Cool]
He sent the message, then something occurred to him and he rapped on Xie Yu’s side of the
desk: “Add me?”
Xie Yu refused politely: “I don’t want the words SoftLittleCutie to appear in my friends list.”
“……”
He Zhao choked: “…Who said SoftLittleCutie is my account?”
“That’s my little sister,” He Zhao continued. “You misunderstand me very deeply. All along I
thought that with my tall and imposing image I shouldn’t have to explain this sort of thing.”
He Zhao had a little sister who had just started middle school.
This girl was obsessed with dressup games, but she only got an hour of time to play phone
games at home. From Monday to Friday, which were school days, she didn’t even get to
touch her phone. She said she was very envious of her good friend Creme Brulee’s level and
score. Besides, in their class, whoever’s level was highest in the dressup game was the one
who was admired and loved in class.
Xie Yu’s temple began to throb.
He Zhao said: “I think this girl might have tricked me.”
He Zhao’s QQ name was his real name. Surprisingly formal.
After accepting the friend request, Xie Yu didn’t change the settings on the contact. He just
tossed him in one of the categories and left him there.
He Zhao, the maniac, on the other hand: he was sitting right there but still sent Xie Yu a text.
“Are you a GG or a MM?”³
“Are you stupid?” Xie Yu said, holding back the impulse to block him.
He Zhao put away his phone, smiling. “One has to be polite when socializing online.
Everyone says hi like that.”
“Quiet—” During the break between classes, Xu Xia walked in. It was noisy in the doorway
and she had to raise her voice when she spoke. “I have something next class period, so Miss
Wang will substitute. I won’t be around in the afternoon, either, so if you have any
questions, go to the class rep and the class rep will report to me tomorrow. Class rep,
remember to maintain order in the class, do you hear?”
[Anonymous A]: What happened now?
[Anonymous B]: …To tell you the truth, if she keeps getting substitutes she should at least
explain to them where we are in the curriculum. Every time we go to class it’s awkward.
[Anonymous C]: Did something happen at home for Miss Xu?
Xu Xia’s family was doing well. Since starting school, she had been preparing for the
transfer.
Their class was the one with the worst grades among the culture classes, and their situation
was also unusual. When the school had given this class to Xu Xia, it was because they
believed in her ability… but Xu Xia stubbornly believed the school was giving her a hard
time.
This “elite teacher” who was about to go to an important school to teach naturally didn’t
look kindly upon this class, and didn’t give much more thought to it. The students in the
class weren’t blind, either, and their distaste towards her grew day by day.
The phone under the desk vibrated twice and He Zhao glanced down at it.
Two messages.
-Zhao-ge, Yang Wenyuan has been in Xu Xia’s company these few days. You’d best be
careful.
-If Xu Xia doesn’t settle this matter with you, the Experimental High School definitely won’t
let her transfer in that smoothly. They’ll say she can’t teach, and even that relative of hers
won’t be able to protect her. She’ll probably to do something about this matter of you
beating up Goody-two-shoes Yang.
When the last class of the morning let out, Shen Jie slipped in through the rear door to ask
He Zhao to the cafeteria for lunch. When he entered, he saw that He Zhao’s seat was empty.
He turned and asked Xie Yu, “Big bro, where’s Zhao-ge?”
“Him?” Xie Yu said. “He skipped class.”
Shen Jie looked at Xie Yu hopefully, indicating for him to continue. “Mm…?”
Xie Yu sat in his seat. He planned to go to the cafeteria after the crowds had thinned. He
was halfway through a rhythm game and had turned the sound off, but not being able to
hear the rhythm of the music didn’t stand in his way at all; his fingers tapped on the screen
at an incredible speed.
Shen Jie internally said, Of course I know he skipped class, but where did he go after he
skipped class?
Xie Yu finished the game and found that Shen Jie was still standing there.
“You wanted to ask where He Zhao went?” Xie Yu remembered, then continued, “How
would I know? None of my business.”
“Really cold.”
“Not humane at all.”
“Like an emotionless killer.”
“……”
Shen Jie searched from the toilets to the rooftops and finally found He Zhao in the boys’
dormitory. After a long spiel of complaints he finally concluded: “Your deskmate is really
heartless.”
When Shen Jie finished, he noticed that He Zhao didn’t react.
He closed the dorm room door and turned to see his Zhao-ge sitting in a chair, one long leg
bent at the knee with his foot on the edge of the chair. He had undone quite a few buttons of
his school uniform and looked absolutely wild.
Shen Jie asked, “Wild Boy?”
“Wild my ass. Whether my deskmate has a heart is not for you to say.” He Zhao had slept
through two class periods and had just crawled out of his blankets. He ruffled his hair, then
asked, “What are you doing here?”
“Asking you to lunch, of course. If I have lunch with you, I don’t need to stand in line,” Shen
Jie said. “The feeling of schoolmates letting you cut the line is really good, isn’t it?”
He Zhao was clearly in a bad mood. After ruffling his hair, his hand fell back to his side and
paused before going to the box of lollipops on the table.
“Smoke these.” Shen Jie stuck out his hand and pushed the box full of lollipops away, then
pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and handed them to He Zhao along with a
lighter. “It’s all right to smoke occasionally. Even if you’re quitting, take it slow.”
He Zhao held the hard paper box. After a moment, he tossed the cigarettes back and Shen
Jie was fast enough to catch them. “…Ah, you throw quite accurately. You’re really not
gonna smoke?”
He Zhao said: “No.”
“Didn’t think Zhao-ge was actually a person with principles.”
“I’ve always had principles, all right?” He Zhao picked a lollipop, unwrapped it, and tossed it
in his mouth. “Don’t tempt me. It’s no use.”
After Shen Jie caught the box, he himself picked out a stick and smoked it.
He lowered his head and held the cigarette close. The lighter clicked and he took a deep
drag. After some silence he said: “I got the news, too. Yang Wenyuan, that bastard. I really
can’t stop thinking about killing him. The moment he heard Liu Yuan was transferring
schools, the bastard started making trouble and even tried to drag you into the water. He’s
tired of living.”
He Zhao, with the lollipop in his mouth, said nothing.
“Your form teacher is an idiot, too. She taught Yang Wenyuan in first year, and after seeing
that his grades were good she treated him like her own son. She doesn’t even see what this
good student’s true colors really are. Now her own resume isn’t exciting enough and she
can’t get into the elite school, so she wants to offer you up as a sacrifice?” Shen Jie flicked
off cigarette ash and continued, “If I may say, Zhao-ge, you might as well spill Yang
Wenyuan’s dirty laundry and be done with it. If he has the guts to fall on the barrel of a gun,
no one can say who’ll die in the end.”
“Spill what,” He Zhao said. “The matter with Liu Yuan, we can’t talk about it..”
Shen Jie took his last drag on the cigarette and sighed. “…Fuck.”
Translation notes:
[1] Renminbi: Chinese currency.
[2] are you a gege (guy) or a meimei (girl)?

Chapter 016 - Because your grades suck

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The two sat in silence for quite some time.
Shen Jie was a heavy smoker, and after finishing one cigarette he wanted another. He Zhao
couldn’t stand the smell any more; he hadn’t successfully quit smoking yet, after all. He
lifted a hand and pointed at the door: “If you want to smoke, do it outside. Scram.”
Shen Jie said: “It’s fine if you don’t want to smoke, but you’re restricting my freedom…”
He Zhao tossed a pillow at him.
Shen Jie reacted quickly and dodged to the side.
As they were talking, He Zhao’s phone on the table lit up, accompanied by the ‘ding-dong’ of
a message notification. After a few seconds the screen went dark again.
He Zhao scooped up the phone and checked it. Xie Yu had sent seven words and a
punctuation mark.
– An official will observe class this afternoon.
“Who is it?” Shen Jie leaned forward and asked.
He Zhao glanced down and typed, saying, “The emotionless killer.”
Shen Jie didn’t have a strong impression of Xie Yu. He’d only started associating with the
guy after the latter had become He Zhao’s deskmate.
The first impression he had of Xie Yu was that, although he was damn good-looking, he
wasn’t easy to interact with. Now… after interacting with him, his first impression was
confirmed
His Zhao-ge was the only exception.
“He’s only emotionless towards you.” He Zhao finished replying, then generously showed
Shen Jie the screen. “See that? My deskmate is as warm as springtime to me.”
Shen Jie thought that this event was probably not as warm as He Zhao thought it was.
As Shen Jie left Class 2.3, he had personally witnessed Xie Yu tear out a piece of paper in
absolute frustration, write several big words, and toss it on He Zhao’s desk. Perhaps too
many people had come to ask about He Zhao’s whereabouts that morning. On that piece of
paper was scrawled messily: Not around, skipped class, I don’t know.
It was the first time Shen Jie had seen someone announce so blatantly that his deskmate
had skipped class. Truly, a talent.
In reality, the matter was indeed not that warm.
When an official observed class, they usually informed the school beforehand and even
picked the specific day so that the teachers could prepare for every question-and-answer
session. But this time around it had happened too suddenly. Xu Xia placed an urgent call
back to ask Miss Wang from the class next door to look after Class 2.3 for her; no one could
be absent.
Miss Wang went to class 2.3 and looked around. She stood next to the piece of paper on He
Zhao’s desk for a long time, then asked Xie Yu to get in touch with him. If they really
couldn’t get him back, they’d say he was on sick leave.
With less than ten minutes to afternoon class, He Zhao tidied his clothes and walked out. On
the way out, he noticed Shen Jie was still in a daze and said, “What are you standing there
for? Go to class.”
Shen Jie answered, “Ah,” but suddenly stopped when he got to the door. He asked, “What do
we do about this? If we can’t talk about Liu Yuan, how do we settle your issue?”
The conversation had circled back again.
He Zhao stuck his hands in his pockets and said, “Let’s talk about it another time.”
As expected, the matter of Yang Wenyuan returned as a topic of conversation before long.
Firstly, Xu Xia took Yang Wenyuan to the school officials and said that this matter couldn’t
be dropped just like that. Later, Yang Wenyuan’s parents even came to the school to
demand an explanation.
“Just look at my son’s face and arms. It’s evil. How can there be such a person in the
school?”
Yang Wenyuan’s parents both wore glasses and looked like intellectuals, but when they
opened their mouths that was very much not the case. “I heard this He Zhao from your
school makes trouble all the time? It’s no wonder at all that he beat our son up. Why has he
not been dealt with yet? What are all of you doing?”
He Zhao’s form teacher Xu Xia stood to the side with a dark face. “We do take all
responsibility for this matter. I will teach him properly. As of now, I can only gravely
apologize to you. A student from my class made a mistake…”
He Zhao really couldn’t keep listening.
“Teach?” He Zhao was so angry he laughed. “Do you have the right to teach anyone?”
“—How can you talk to a teacher like that?”
The matter was at a stalemate, but at this juncture a witness appeared.
Liu Cunhao knocked on the door and entered. “Miss Xu, you were looking for me?”
When Liu Cunhao returned from the guidance center he was immediately mobbed by the
class. “Class rep, we heard you testified in court?”
“Did you really see He Zhao beat up Yang Wenyuan with your own eyes?”
Liu Cunhao corrected: “Before. I saw it before.”
“Badass. Brave warrior.”
The crowd was abuzz. Everyone said that if it had been them, they wouldn’t dare risk their
lives to speak up.
“It’s nothing, it’s nothing,” Liu Cunhao said. “I hesitated for a while, too, but for the sake of
love and justice…”
Xie Yu didn’t like passing judgment on things like these. It had nothing to do with him
anyway.
What one saw with one’s eyes might not always be true, especially when it came to rumors
like these.
Before he came to Black Water Street to avoid debt collectors, he had thought that the
people who lived there were all good-for-nothings and hooligans. But he really had
nowhere else to go. The day he got there, Xu Yanmei with her tattoos and her potty mouth
had knocked on the door with a bowl of dumplings. “Made a few extra. They’re not that
good, so eat them with something else.”
After this first gesture of caring, she had taken care of them for almost ten years.
“What happened? What’s the situation now, really?”
Liu Cunhao said, “…He might be expelled. This time it’s quite serious.”
“Expelled?!”
While the class was chatting up a storm, Xie Yu lay on his desk and played on his phone.
After a long time, He Zhao was let out of the guidance center and returned to class. Liu
Cunhao was at the podium solving a math problem as He Zhao walked into the classroom.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw He Zhao’s silhouette and the chalk in his hand snapped.
Surprisingly, He Zhao didn’t even look at him.
Liu Cunhao secretly let out a breath.
Xie Yu was slightly suspicious as to whether or not the punishment they were talking about
—expulsion—was true or not. Because when He Zhao returned, he was still in the mood to
keep playing the dressup game.
Shen Jie reacted even more strongly than He Zhao, as if he was the one to be expelled. “Fuck
that shit. Where did your class rep pop up from?!”
“What’s that noise for? He’s an okay guy,” He Zhao said. “This isn’t his fault.”
Shen Jie: “So what’s the situation now, really? They let you out to give you time to think,
and they want you to apologize and write a reflection essay, right? Xu Xia is that stubborn?
Is her professional life just lacking one damn thing, your reflection essay?”
The two classes had the same gym period. The two crossed the football field and walked
toward the stadium.
Shen Jie talked up a storm. He Zhao might or might not have been listening; seeing Xie Yu
sitting under the shade of a tree, he lifted his hand to wave to him.
Xie Yu heard someone calling his name and had just looked up when a ball flew out from
the basketball field and said hi to his head. “…..”
A guy walked off the basketball court. “Hand slipped, sorry.”
Shen Jie looked at the person’s face and immediately exploded. “Fucking Yang Wenyuan,
you did it on purpose, right?”
He hadn’t even thrown accurately. Going by the angle it was obvious he had been aiming
for He Zhao.
He Zhao said nothing. He bent, picked the ball up, walked to Xie Yu’s side, then threw the
ball hard in Yang Wenyuan’s direction. The ball grazed Yang Wenyuan and smashed into
the metal fence, making a loud bang. He Zhao smiled and returned the courteous words:
“Hand slipped.”
Yang Wenyuan’s friend came over to join the fray and tugged at him, urging him to leave.
“Sorry, sorry.”
But Yang Wenyuan stood on the spot and didn’t move. He was as thin as a rail and his
clothes seemed to hang off his very bones. His face was long and pockmarked and he had
dark bags under his eyes; he looked very sickly. As he stood there he finally forced out the
words: “He Zhao, this isn’t over. You’re going to lose.”
He Zhao: “Cut the bullshit and get lost.”
“Do you know why?” Yang Wenyuan smiled. “Because your grades suck.”
“Damn you.” The words ‘your grades suck’ seem to have hit a raw nerve, or perhaps the
feelings he had bottled up over the past few days had finally found an outlet. He Zhao
walked up slowly and asked in a low voice, “You don’t understand human speech, do you?”
He Zhao rarely got angry.
Shen Jie had known him for many years and hadn’t seen him angry more than a few times.
He Zhao’s demeanor was very good-natured; even if the other person got mad, he wouldn’t.
Going from this perspective, Yang Wenyuan really was a talent.
“Let’s go, Wenyuan. Let’s go.” Even if Yang Wenyuan wanted to court death, his friends
certainly didn’t, and they dragged him away.
Shen Jie really wanted to roll up his sleeves and get down to business. But he considered
that He Zhao was currently in a precarious situation. If he made any more trouble, those
rumors could become reality. “Zhao-ge, calm down. You have to calm down. If you want to
beat him up, we’ll have to find a dark deserted alley and put a sack over his head, then we
can beat him up however we want.”
Shen Jie let go only when Yang Wenyuan had gone out of sight.
“That’s Yang Wenyuan?”
“Ah?” Shen Jie looked back and saw the emotionless killer standing to the side. He replied,
“Ah, Goody-two-shoes Yang, that’s him.”
Xie Yu had been trying to recall something; the guy felt familiar. By the time he finally put a
name to the face, he said blank-faced, “Ah. Isn’t that the idiot who sexually harassed a girl?”
He Zhao: “……”
Shen Jie: “…How did you know?!”
“Friend, can we talk?” Shen Jie recovered from the enormous blow. “How do you know
about this? Did you know Liu Yuan? Fuck, I thought that in the whole school only me and
Zhao-ge knew.”
Xie Yu only said three words: “I saw it.”
It was when Xie Yu was in his first year.
The cell service from the west building wasn’t good. If people wanted to use their phones,
they had to rely on fate and destiny or carry their phones around looking for a signal.
Zhou Dalei had still been livestreaming at the time. His career had just gotten started and
he wasn’t that popular, so he had reminded Xie Yu to tune in on time and increase his hit
count. Xie Yu looked for a signal all the way to the toilet, where the signal was not bad, but
the environment was really a little unbearable.
“Boss Xie, I believe in your love for me. It surpasses excrement and urine…” Dalei said as he
played his game. “Really. This is the time for you to show how much you love me.”
Love, your ass. Fuck.
Xie Yu gave Dalei a virtual present and was about to leave, but Dalei talked a lot of crap and
insisted on chatting with him, saying that it was lonely without interacting with the
audience and he needed Boss Xie to liven the atmosphere for him.
This ‘livening the atmosphere’ lasted all the way until the evening self-study period.
Dalei: “If you like the streamer, give me a present! Is there anyone around? Am I that
unpopular?”
Xie Yu was typing: Go be lonely on your own. I’m leaving.
Before he could send it, the toilet door was kicked open with a bang, followed by the sound
of shoving and a girl’s soft cry.

Chapter 017 - Life is always full of surprises

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
They found a secluded place: a grassy field near the equipment room with a large rock
mimicking a mountain at its center. The three squatted, resting against the ‘mountain.’
Xie Yu was about to stand up when He Zhao pulled him back down. “Stay right there. Talk.
Keep talking.”
Actually, there wasn’t much to say.
Xie Yu didn’t know anyone called Liu Yuan. He just remembered that the girl had buried her
face in her hands, squatted on the floor, and cried.
Yang Wenyuan was terrified and didn’t dare face Xie Yu head on. After two blows from a
stick, he turned and ran out. Xie Yu had no intention of squatting and comforting the girl,
either. He felt that he had done his civic duty, and tossed the wooden stick he had randomly
grabbed into a stall, then started to walk out.
He had just taken a step when a hand caught his pant leg and the girl said weakly, “…Don’t
tell anyone, I beg of you.”
“Yeah, that’s her,” Shen Jie said. “Terribly timid, and would rather be bullied than make a
sound.”
Shen Jie added, “So you beat up Goody-two-shoes Yang until he ran?”
He Zhao didn’t quite understand, either. “Then why does this dude only pester me? Envious
of my good looks?”
Xie Yu said calmly, “…I was wearing a mask.”
Although the smell in the toilet wasn’t that strong, the scent of disinfectant was terrible. Xie
Yu had grabbed a mask before he went, not expecting he would really use it.
He Zhao let out a thoughtful, “Ah.”
Shen Jie immediately exposed He Zhao’s unrealistic thoughts: “Forget it, Zhao-ge. It’s no use
even if you wear a mask. Big bro Xie only beat him up, but just think about what you’ve
done.”
“What did I do? I didn’t hit him,” He Zhao said. “I was very merciful.”
If pulling someone’s pants off, standing to the side and mocking their dick for being small,
and letting them run around naked for almost two to three hours counted as merciful, Yang
Wenyuan would probably rather get beaten up.
After hearing the ins and outs of it all, Xie Yu sank into silence, too.
He Zhao said, “I really don’t like fighting. I pick a peaceful way of settling things.”
Peaceful… it really was peaceful.
No wonder Yang Wenyuan couldn’t let it go. That event definitely ranked among the most
humiliating things in life, especially for a proud elite student like him. How could he endure
this? When Liu Yuan transferred schools, he had thought this piece of blackmail would now
have no opposing witness, and took the chance to make trouble.
But He Zhao, because of a girl’s plea and her reputation, had stood there enduring
everything without a word even though Yang Wenyuan had barked right up to his front
door. It made Xie Yu look at his deskmate in a different light.
“If not, would I have let him live till now?” He Zhao picked up a pebble and threw it as he
spoke. It landed on an exercise machine, then rolled a couple times. After it had gone, he
said, “It’s been really damn awful holding it in.”
The latter half of Shen Jie’s class period had been changed to a boys’ assembly: the boys
would go to the soccer field, line up, and practice passing. So they only chatted for a while
before Shen Jie had to stand up and dust himself off: “Class assembly, I have to go. Let’s talk
later. Calm down, Zhao-ge. You absolutely have to stay calm.”
He Zhao waved at him without looking up. “Get lost, you.”
The temperature outside was 32°C (90°F), and Xie Yu didn’t really want to stay here under
the hot sun.
Just as he was about to leave, He Zhao suddenly pulled him down to lie down together on
the grass. The afternoon sun was so bright Xie Yu couldn’t open his eyes. He narrowed
them, wondering if he had been too good-tempered in the last couple days, leading his
deskmate to misunderstand him. But then he heard He Zhao’s careless words: “Anyone can
be a teacher, huh.”
A few clouds leisurely drifted past.
He Zhao reflexively reached for his pocket but only came up with a lollipop. It was hot and
the sweet had melted a little, soft to the touch.
An unspeakable feeling rose within him. Several voices echoed by his ear, from Xu Xia’s
bullshit to Goody-two-shoes Yang’s, “Your grades suck.”
He Zhao turned and asked Xie Yu, “Do you have a cigarette?”
Xie Yu: “No.”
With difficulty, He Zhao unwrapped the lollipop.
Xie Yu smelled it. Damn strawberries again.
The two lay on the grass for a while not speaking. Just as He Zhao crunched up his lollipop,
Xie Yu suddenly sat up and kicked him. “Let’s go.”
He Zhao asked: “Go where?”
Xie Yu said: “If this teacher won’t do anything then let’s find another one.”
The weather was too hot. As Xie Yu spoke, he grabbed his collar and fanned himself.
He Zhao was flashed a large expanse of skin and the deep dip of Xie Yu’s collarbone. Xie Yu
had a good figure: although he wasn’t especially tall, he had everything he ought to, and
when he lifted his shirt, he wasn’t a skinny pork rib. A boy of this age hadn’t fully grown
into himself, but he was youthful, beautiful and adamant, with sharp teeth and claws.
He Zhao was a little dazed.
He wasn’t sure if it was because of Xie Yu’s bafflingly audacious words, or Xie Yu himself in
front of him.
He Zhao and Xie Yu jumped the chain-link fence surrounding the dorms, bypassed the
lobby, and went in through the side door.
Since a lot of students lived in school, the school had special rules for students going in and
out of the dorms. If they went back to the dorms during class time, whether to get
something or because they weren’t feeling well and needed rest, they had to show a signed
slip from the teacher and sign in at the lobby.
The chain-link fence wasn’t hard to climb, but no one dared to. The Dean of Students was
nicknamed ‘Mad Dog’ and his office window directly overlooked the dorms. If one were
unlucky enough to be seen by him, they’d be fortunate to get out alive.
“Toilet, stall, phone.” Xie Yu jumped in, hand supporting his weight on the ground. He didn’t
even turn back as he said those key phrases, then continued, “Think about it.”
He Zhao thought about it. “What are we doing? Making sentences from vocabulary like in
elementary school?”
Xie Yu: “……”
They were accustomed to doing this and jumped the fence with accuracy, grace, and speed,
like they had professional training.
From the soccer field, Shen Jie saw the two silhouettes jump the fence from afar. He
thought they seemed familiar, but before he could be sure, the two silhouettes had already
disappeared.
“That’s strange.” Shen Jie rubbed the back of his head. “…Why does that guy look so much
like Zhao-ge?”
“You live in the dorms, too?” He Zhao followed up the stairs and discovered that they were
drawing closer and closer to his dorm room when Xie Yu stopped at the door directly
opposite his.
Xie Yu reached for the spare key on top of the door: “‘Too?’ Where do you live?”
“Look across the corridor.” He Zhao pointed. “Right across from you.”
……
Xie Yu internally said, So you’re the idiot who put, ‘Preparing for the gaokao, do not
disturb,’ up on your door?
He Zhao introduced the piece of paper on his door: “Teachers usually don’t come in to
check my room, worried they’ll disturb me studying. It’s very effective. If you get a chance,
try it out.”
“No, thank you.”
Xie Yu went in, pulled out the box from under his bed, and started looking for something.
Inside were mostly miscellaneous goods: torches, backup batteries, bandages…
He Zhao sat on the chair and looked at him. “What are you looking for?”
Xie Yu ignored him.
He Zhao was bored and looked around the room, which was relatively clean. On the desk
was a computer; He Zhao’s gaze swept past it and landed on the Rubik’s cube beside the
pen holder.
By the time Xie Yu found his old phone, He Zhao had already solved the Rubik’s cube. Every
face was a single color, neat and tidy.
“Don’t know if it’s still here.” Xie Yu pressed the keypad. “I made a recording.”
He Zhao’s hand suddenly stilled on the Rubik’s cube. He wondered if he had heard wrongly.
Xie Yu repeated: “That day in the toilet I made a recording. That Yang-whatever—
everything he said is in there. I almost forgot.”
This way of thinking was a little precocious for a high school student. They were still at a
reckless age, and in an urgent situation they often raised their fists and rushed forward.
What high school student had these endlessly circling, twisting trains of thought?
When Yang Wenyuan had dragged Liu Yuan into the toilet, Xie Yu’s first reaction was to pull
up the voice recorder.
After the fact, he had intended to ask Liu Yuan if she needed evidence to expose him, but
Liu Yuan’s reaction of ‘just let things lie’ had been too strong. If she had intended to fight
back, things wouldn’t be this way now.
She was worried people would find out, even though she was the real victim.
“Withdrawing from school… Damn it, the school acts that quickly?”
Several days later, a new notice went up on the school noticeboard. A large crowd of people
surrounded it. Liu Cunhao, who had arrived late, stood with his friends at the very edge of
the circle, tiptoeing and squinting to see. “E-expulsion as punishment…”
When Liu Cunhao read the next line he was completely stunned. “Fuck me. Yang
Wenyuan?”
“Yang Wenyuan got expelled? What about He Zhao?” A boy standing beside Liu Cunhao was
shocked, too. “What on earth is going on?”
Times changed faster than anyone could imagine. Not only the students, even Xu Xia was
totally stunned.
She had taught Yang Wenyuan for a year. His studies were top-notch and he had great
chances of getting into a first-tier university.
Now she remembered the guarantees for Yang Wenyuan she had made to the school, and
her mind went blank. The world spun around her and she finally came up with two words:
I’m finished.
The recording He Zhao handed to the school had been altered to remove Liu Yuan’s voice,
but all the despicable things Yang Wenyuan had said were still in there, word for word.
Yang Wenyuan demonstrated the art of ‘changing faces’ on the spot, followed shortly by his
whole family. They completely dropped their self-righteous attitudes of the previous few
days, and even grabbed He Zhao by the hand to plead for their son: “I know you’re a good
kid…”
He Zhao almost laughed. “Ah, are you on a radio show? Now that you need my help, I’m a
good kid?”
The school official asked who the girl was, and He Zhao responded, “Can you guarantee the
victim’s privacy won’t be violated?”
Only the upper levels of the school knew the entire facts, and the information was kept
strictly under wraps.
But Goody-two-shoes Yang’s crimes were set in stone.
On the day of the expulsion, Shen Jie was so happy he treated his whole class to soft drinks.
When he came to find He Zhao he found the class rep of Class 3 apologizing to his Zhao-ge.
Aside from the class rep, all of class 2.3 was hiding behind the windows and watching.
It was a magnificent scene.
Liu Cunhao’s face had gone red: “Sorry, Classmate He Zhao. I didn’t have my facts right…”
He Zhao gravely patted Liu Cunhao’s shoulders, then followed up smoothly: “It’s all right,
it’s all right. Life is always full of surprises. I’m not only handsome, but also very
magnanimous.”
Liu Cunhao: “……”
Shen Jie: “……” He couldn’t look.
Xie Yu couldn’t keep listening, either. He held his phone with one hand, and with the other
he fumbled at his side and found a pencil case. He tossed it right out of the window and it
landed on He Zhao. “Shut up.”
The so-called ‘school tyrants’ had been somewhat demonized. Their stories had mostly
been rumors which spread from person to person, half falsehoods and half truths. No one
knew what the real truth was, in the end.
But now, the students of Class 2.3 realized for the first time that these two school tyrants
were a little different from how the legends made them out to be.

Chapter 018 - Give up and go to the next question.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
A new day.
A yell pierced the vestiges of morning mist and shook everyone to crisp alertness.
“Stand up straight! All of you get over here and stand properly.”
“Don’t stare at the damn floor. Do you think it’s going to grow flowers? Don’t be shy. No
need to be shy. You’ve already thrown away all your dignity anyway.”
“Back straight! Heads up! Look forward. Look into my eyes.”
A dozen or so people stood proudly by the bronze statue in the entryway of Liyang
Erzhong. They stood in two rows, their heads hanging and the backpacks they carried
drooping heavily.
Those not fully awake had been yelled at so loudly their sleeping bugs¹ had all flown away.
They flinched on the spot, trembling.
One of the male students couldn’t stop himself. He looked up and glanced at the Dean of
Students, then lowered his head again and whispered, “…Mad Dog.”
‘Mad Dog’ Dean Jiang’s ears faintly caught something. He pointed to the students and raised
his voice. “Who’s talking!”
The man’s chest heaved wildly. On his nose was perched a pair of gold-framed spectacles,
but it didn’t give him any air of scholarly elegance. In his hand he held a name chart which
recorded the names of tardy students. Those who were late more than three times would
be recorded on the last page of the chart—the blacklist.
The nickname ‘Mad Dog’ had been around a long time, coined by students a few years back
and passed down. Everyone said that you must never provoke this Dean Jiang. The
legendary Mad Dog was more terrifying than even a tigress.
Dean Jiang’s eyes narrowed. He walked from the head of the line to the end with a sneer on
his face. “—Late. Not even a few days into the new term and you’re already playing the late
game.”
He walked down the line again, then suddenly stopped. The other students held their
breaths and Dean Jiang’s voice rose again. “He Zhao? What’s the situation?!”
He Zhao stepped forward: “I was late.”
“You’re living in the dorms this semester and I still catch you at the school gates.” Dean
Jiang indicated for the other students to go back to class, keeping just He Zhao. “All right.
Your ability to break the school rules is really something else.”
He Zhao said that he had gone for a morning run and forgotten the time.
Dean Jiang looked at He Zhao, who was impossibly neat and clean. He would even be able
to smell the detergent from his clothes if he were to get closer.
Morning run, my ass. More like an old man stroll.
Dean Jiang didn’t bother quibbling further. He looked at the time: it was ten minutes past
the start of class. He said: “The usual.”
“Reflection essay, I know.” He Zhao walked forward as he said, “I’ll deliver it to your office
by lunch. See you, Dean Jiang.”
Seeing He Zhao about to disappear, Dean Jiang said, “Wait, come back.”
He Zhao stopped.
Dean Jiang: “What’s up with that petition from your class?”
After the series of dramatic events, Xu Xia didn’t receive any punishment, but her transfer
to the Experimental High School was a lost cause. Her superior saw that she sincerely
admitted her mistake and he didn’t pursue the matter further on account of her having
taught for more than a decade.
What made the school officer’s head hurt was that the students of class 3 wanted to change
their form teacher.
When He Zhao mentioned this, he had initially thought no one in class would agree. Class 3
was usually very silent and the students usually kept quiet, but now everyone’s dislike for
Xu Xia suddenly burst forth.
Liu Cunhao took the lead in gathering his buddies in support.
“Depose her!” The speaker was an energetic boy. His eyes seemed to sparkle as he looked
around. “As long as our whole class participates, even if we fail, a group crime is always
more lightly punished.”
Liu Cunhao slapped the boy’s head. “Know-It-All, why are you so pessimistic? Before we
even do anything you’re already thinking of failure.”
The boy called ‘Know-It-All’ said: “This isn’t pessimism. This is a strategy. I can mention ten
events like this off the top of my head. Last year, Class 5 protested the teacher taking their
gym period…”
He Zhao had intended to enthusiastically encourage Xie Yu to look for Mad Dog with them.
Xie Yu pointed to the petition in Liu Cunhao’s hand, which half the class had already signed.
“I’m already giving you a lot of face by signing, all right?”
After stopping He Zhao, Dean Jiang didn’t say much to him before leaving.
He Zhao ran all the way back to the classroom. While the English teacher wasn’t looking, he
bent down and slipped in through the back door, then quietly sat down. From the
lightweight schoolbag on his shoulders he pulled out a cup of warm soymilk and handed it
to Xie Yu. “Here.”
Xie Yu looked at the soymilk and the straw. “What is this?”
“Drink it,” He Zhao said, hanging his bag on the back of his chair. “Didn’t you want it
unsweetened?”
After finding out that he lived opposite Xie Yu, He Zhao often went to knock on Xie Yu’s
door, whether anything was the matter or not. Of course, Xie Yu didn’t welcome this at all.
Sometimes He Zhao got up early and went over to call Xie Yu up, too. “Come, let’s go get
breakfast.”
Then He Zhao discovered that Xie Yu was very picky about his food and would rather not
eat than eat something he didn’t like.
“It’s soy milk either way. What’s the difference?” He Zhao asked.
Xie Yu: “I don’t drink sweet soymilk.”
The school cafeteria didn’t have that many varieties of soy milk, and only the breakfast
place outside school had unsweetened soy milk. He Zhao had wanted to treat Xie Yu to a
meal to thank him for helping him out so much, but he hadn’t expected to become an
errand boy in the end.
“What are we doing? Going over questions? What is this?” He Zhao spent a long time just
looking for his English book, and after he opened it he was more confused. “…When was
this assigned?”
Xie Yu had borrowed the work from the people in the row in front to copy and didn’t even
raise his head. “Don’t know. Probably when you were deciding between the lace skirt and
the leather pants.”
He Zhao’s movements hadn’t escaped the teacher’s eyes.
The English teacher wrote the question on the board, then put down the chalk and called
He Zhao’s name. “Student who was late, come and explain. When you encounter a question
like this, what’s the first step?”
He Zhao stood up slowly, hesitated for a while, then said, “Give up and go to the next
question.”
Xie Yu was halfway through copying a translation. On hearing this answer, he forgot to lift
his pencil and gave the letter ‘C’ he was writing a long tail. “……”
The English teacher: “……”
The whole class: “……”
He Zhao continued: “When you meet a question you can’t answer, don’t waste your time.”
After a long silence, someone couldn’t restrain a snort of laughter any more. Then the
whole class started laughing uproariously.
“Ha ha ha ha ha ha next question.”
“Genius, genius.”
The English teacher tried to frown very seriously but in the end cracked up, too. “You sit
down and listen properly.”
After morning self-study passed, the news that Xu Xia had been transferred to the first year
students spread throughout the class.
“A teacher for a first year class has a bad voice and needs an operation, so Xu Xia probably
went to that class. Our new form teacher is surnamed Tang.”
Know-It-All had listened at the door of the faculty office and brought the news fresh out of
the oven back to class. He said as he ran, ”And he was transferred from an elite school.
Special teacher, sounds very awesome.”
Wan Da, who was coincidentally surnamed ‘Wan,’ always had a lot of underground gossip
to spread, and no one knew where he obtained it from. In addition, no one ever knew if the
confusing and vague gossip he brought was true or false. Wan Da bragged that, even in the
half of the city outside Liyang Erzhong, there wasn’t anything he didn’t know. So he was
nicknamed ‘Know-It-All.’²
Liu Cunhao was currently collecting homework and said, “You even dare to listen at Mad
Dog’s door?”
Wan Da said: “Have to. In order to get firsthand news, risking death is a must.”
Know-It-All’s news was never accurate, not even one time out of ten, but this time he had
hit the nail on the head. The new form teacher was surnamed Tang and even his name was
full of character: Tang Sen.
Tang Sen looked like an ordinary man entering middle age. A set of Buddhist beads was
wrapped around his wrist, and he taught class attentively. Within two days he had
memorized everyone’s name and face.
He also spoke well and didn’t put on airs, but he was a little annoying and long-winded. In a
single monologue he could touch on several totally unrelated topics, but when he strung
them together, the change didn’t seem abrupt at all.
“Student on duty, clean the classroom before you leave. It’s important to sleep early and get
enough sleep. Don’t eat food that is too oily. If you encounter a question you don’t know,
just leave it. You can ask, but you definitely can’t copy. When you get home, remember to
ask after your parents. They’re exhausted from their day, too. Right, it might rain
tomorrow, so you’d best bring an umbrella…”
“……”
After the last class let out for the day, the live-in students stayed behind to continue
evening self-study.
Coincidentally, both He Zhao and Xie Yu often skipped evening self-study. Either one of
them would skip or they would both skip, which was why even half a month after starting
school they hadn’t realized the other also lived in school.
More than half the class had left. The ten or so people who remained did their homework
and started chatting idly.
Outside, night had already fallen.
Wan Da asked mysteriously, “Do you know about the ghost in our dormitory?”
While Know-It-All had started talking about this supernatural topic, He Zhao had dragged
Xie Yu into a team game and was currently focused on executing his own skill sets. “I’m
really very strong—did you see? Two birds with one stone. Come over. I’ll cover you.”
Xie Yu: “Look carefully. I was the one who killed that person.”
It was impossible to attack a teammate, or Xie Yu might have killed He Zhao first.
“These past few nights, there’ve been weird noises on our floor. Especially after midnight.
There’s knocking at the door.” As Wan Da spoke, he got quieter and quieter. “I heard that a
few days ago it was still roaming the first floor… but starting from last night, strange things
happened on the second floor, too. I heard the knocking with my own ears, but when I went
to open the door, there was nothing at all outside. At the end of the corridor, I saw a
shadow go by.”
Wan Da continued: “I don’t know, maybe I saw wrongly. But wasn’t there always a rumor?
You know, right? That person who jumped?”
Other students corroborated: “I know, I know. Jumped from the roof.”
“I live on the first floor and I’ve heard it many times. Every time there’s knocking, I don’t
dare to open the door. But yesterday it stopped. Did it really go upstairs?”
Xie Yu was focused on his game and wasn’t listening. He encountered two major bosses and
was about to fight them when he turned and found that his teammate had vanished at some
point. “Tsk. Weren’t you supposed to cover me?”
He Zhao’s expression wasn’t quite right. “…Which floor are we on? The third?”
Translation notes:
[1]Sleeping bugs: used to describe the feeling of sleepiness
[2]His name Wan Da shares the first word with his nickname Wan Shi Tong = ‘Knows Ten
Thousand Things’

Chapter 019 - Knock knock knock.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
In school, there were always a few shocking rumors.
There was no evidence to actually support the story of the student who jumped, it was just
passed down from previous students. Rumor had it there had been no report because the
school had suppressed this event in order to preserve its reputation.
The reason behind the suicide was also subject to a lot of discussion. Academic pressure,
bad romantic luck, family bankruptcy, school bullying…
……
The more Wan Da and the others talked about it, the more excited they got. They talked
about the dormitory building as if it were a haunted house. To create atmosphere, he also
turned off the lights with a snap.
At eight at night, it was pitch black outside and you couldn’t see your hand in front of your
face. Only the lights and the stars in the sky were visible. A tall building near the school was
currently hosting an anniversary celebration, and it was lit up with red lights. Now that the
lights in the classroom were off, the sea of red that shone over from the other side looked
especially strange.
A girl screamed out loud: “Wan Da, what are you doing?!”
“Are you sick?!”
“Turn on the lights, quick, turn on the lights!”
Wan Da remained unmoved and persistent. “Atmosphere is important when telling stories.
Atmosphere.”
The instant the lights went out, He Zhao grabbed Xie Yu’s wrist and cursed softly. “Fuck.”
The phone game had ended and Xie Yu’s phone screen was dark. He turned but didn’t shake
off He Zhao’s hand. Instead, he asked with some interest, “You’re scared of ghosts?”
Wan Da wasn’t aware of what was happening in the corner of the last row. He prepared to
start the story of a scary hair salon and called the two big brothers over to listen: “Zhao-ge,
Yu-ge, join us? It’s absolutely terrifying and very exciting. If you dare to sleep alone after
hearing this, I’ll give you fifty cents.”
He Zhao hadn’t even had the opportunity to refuse when he heard a reply from his
especially antisocial, loner-to-a-fault deskmate who never liked to join the crowds. “Sure.”
“……”
There were just twelve people in the classroom.
Eight guys and four girls.
Wan Da sat in the middle and the remaining people forming a circle around him. The girls
formed a tight group, and those who didn’t have a place found chairs to pull over, looking
for a spot.
Xie Yu sat at the very outer edge, near the corner. He Zhao was next to him.
Xie Yu glanced down; He Zhao’s hand was still holding his: “So you don’t intend to let go?”
The supernatural story of the horrifying hair salon started. Wan Da deliberately spoke in a
tragic tone: “Xiao Jie was a very pretty girl, with a head of long, shining jet-black hair.
Everyone who saw her had a deep impression of her beautiful hair…”
Xie Yu frowned. He Zhao’s five fingers, wrapped painfully around his wrist, also left a deep
impression.
Wan Da’s storytelling ability was pretty ordinary, but he was very earnest and never
dropped the act. Besides, the atmosphere was very good. So, in the middle of the story, the
four girls screamed in unison.
The girls’ screams were much more terrifying than the contents of the story.
To an attentive listener, suddenly hearing that sound would cause their heart to jump.
Xie Yu thought that He Zhao should go and sit with the girls and scream with them, but He
Zhao’s body language radiated, “The big bro needs to save face.” Though he went rigid, he
didn’t make a sound and pretended to be calm.
“…The hairdresser turned around, a very strange smile surfacing on his face. The corner of
his lips lifted a little, then a little more. He picked up the scissors and stood in the doorway
of the storage room. His bangs, which were very long, covered one eye. That totally dead
look… he didn’t look like a normal person. He didn’t even look like a live person.”
Wan Da’s voice got lower and lower, but his voice suddenly lilted in emphasis as the story
climaxed: “He opened the door! In the storage room was a row of shelves packed full of—
human heads!”
He Zhao’s hand moved down a few inches and caught hold of Xie Yu’s.
Xie Yu shook his hand a few times but couldn’t shake the other’s hand off.
“Attached to the scalps, jet-black hair hung down on either side of their faces. Their
agonized expressions showed how much they suffered in the moment they died. Terrifying,
scared, and twisted.”
“Let go,” Xie Yu said. “Are you going to let go?”
He Zhao: “No.”
“…You’re really scared of this?”
“Who said I’m scared?”
“Then let go.”
“No.”
Just as Wan Da was painstakingly describing how terrifying those decapitated human
heads were, a face appeared in the classroom window.
The face was half hidden by the blinds, the other half just barely visible.
The features weren’t clear and only the silhouette could be seen.
But it was visibly a man.
After a beat, the man asked, “—What are you doing?”
Wan Da had been halfway through the story when the face appeared in the window. Even
he jumped from fright. “Damn.”
The girls screamed in unison: “Aah!”
“What are you screaming about?” Dean Jiang pushed open the door and walked in. He felt
for the light switch and flicked it on. “What are you all doing? It’s evening self-study. Have
you finished your homework? Ah? Having a tea party here?”
This noisy lot was giving him a headache. He rapped the podium with his book. “I could
hear your class from across the hall. Do you not have enough homework to do? Tell me and
I’ll pass the message on to your teacher.”
Wan Da said, “No, no, no, no need, Dean Jiang. We have enough homework, really, enough. If
we have any more we won’t be able to handle it.”
Before Dean Jiang left work, he routinely made several rounds of the classrooms. Perhaps
he was in a good mood from being about to get off work: he didn’t pursue the matter
further and only reminded everyone: “Be quiet and respect the peace. If I find you doing
this again…”
“Yes, yes, yes, yes.”
When Dean Jiang left, the class let out a breath. They were about to pull their chairs back to
their seats when a girl suddenly screamed again.
“Order, order, be quiet,” Wan Da said. “Xu Qingqing, is my story really so terrifying?”
Xu Qingqing said that she wasn’t nearly as timid as he thought she was. Then she looked
pointedly in a certain direction and successfully drew everyone’s eyes to the tightly linked
hands of the two big bros.
Wan Da and the other students: “……!”
Xie Yu had been held onto for a very long time and didn’t notice anything wrong.
He Zhao was still remembering the story details. “In the end, she managed to get out?”
“If she’s not dead, she went mad,” Xie Yu said calmly. “If not, it’s not a horror story, is it?”
He Zhao and Xie Yu. Aside from their titles of ‘problem youth,’ their appearances were also
rather eye-catching.
In their first year, when the school forum was picking a school beau, these two were at the
top of the list. Most of the students didn’t quite have the nerve to interact with them, but
perhaps because all things looked better from a distance, students from other schools
constantly posted, “Can I get the contact details of XX from your school? They’re s cool (*/ω
＼*)”
There were many rumors, but the romantic histories of these two were a mystery.
Since being put in Class 3, many girls whom Wan Da had connections to, or didn’t have
connections to, all swarmed to him. He thought about it: now he could finally give them an
answer: Forget it. Our class will probably take care of them on its own.
At eight-thirty, evening self-study period ended.
Wan Da packed up his things and left with the rest of the class. After these few days, he felt
that the class was as close knit as a family. Following the incident with changing teachers,
they were war comrades.
“Telling you first.” Wan Da walked ahead. “During the monthly exams next week, I heard
from Mr. Tang’s office that the teachers of every year are writing their own questions.
They’ll look at Sizhong for the base difficulty. At any rate, it’ll be more difficult than the
ones we usually do.”
Xie Yu: “You’re telling me this information?”
He Zhao found it inexplicable, too. All year round, he and Xie Yu placed last and second-to-
last in the school. Exams, to them, were nothing at all. “What’s the point of this
information?”
Wan Da said, “I’m reminding you to prepare your cheating early. This time, the
consequences for getting caught cheating are very serious. I heard there will be three
teachers overseeing every exam hall.”
In the school district, only the streetlights were on, accompanied by the soft cry of insects.
The beautiful summer was about to end, and the wind that rushed up towards their faces
held a hint of a chill.
He Zhao: “Ah.”
Xie Yu: “Really, thank you.”
Xie Yu went back, washed up, and flipped open “Mock Exams: Monthly Papers.” It was a
collection of the monthly exams from all the high schools in A City. He found Sizhong’s
questions from last year and looked at them.
He glossed over the simple questions, and when he encountered an interesting or difficult
one he stopped to do it.
Time passed quickly and it was soon time for lights-out. Xie Yu felt that this portable light
could probably last another hour. He kept doing questions when suddenly his phone screen
lit up.
A QQ message.
He Zhao: Asleep?
Xie Yu: ?
He Zhao: Lonely night. Chat with me.
Xie Yu: No time, not chatting, get lost.
He Zhao had already gotten used to his deskmate’s aloof way of speaking. He seemed not to
notice that the quality of this conversation was terrible and replied: What are you doing?
Xie Yu looked at the thick stack of math papers and the functions question he had solved
halfway. He wrote back, blank-faced: Gaming.
He Zhao: What game is it?
These four words held a strong undercurrent of, ‘Let me join in and we can play together.’
Xie Yu remained deathly calm and resolved to kill the conversation stone cold dead in the
water: Single-player game.
He Zhao: ……
Xie Yu put down his phone and suddenly remembered He Zhao’s words and actions during
evening self-study. He replied again: So scared you can’t sleep?
This time, He Zhao didn’t keep looking for conversation where there was none.
He Zhao: [/Smile]
He Zhao: Ha ha, funny joke. What have I ever been scared of?
He Zhao: [/Wave]
Xie Yu hadn’t taken Know-It-All’s supernatural dorm story seriously at all. He treated it
only as a story. Just like the story of the scary hair salon, Xie Yu had just listened to it for
entertainment.
He had lived at school in first year, too, and nothing had happened the entire year.
Strange knocking at the door. What rich imagination.
When Xie Yu lay down, it was close to midnight. He lay on the bed flicking through his
messages. He saw Zhou Dalei’s photo of Aunt Mei pinning a shady-looking young man on
the floor with the caption: Catching a thief bare-handed. Badass, badass.
In the chat, Aunt Mei was judging Dalei’s photography skills.
Lei’s mom fiercely protected her son: It’s about the person, not about the skill! Look at how
good my son’s photo is!
Xie Yu looked at it for a long time. In the end, he didn’t respond with anything, only gave it a
like. He had just put down his phone when he heard a sound in the originally quiet corridor.
—It seemed to be very, very slow footsteps.
The sound drew closer.
Then stopped in front of a door.
Xie Yu clearly heard two knocks on the door.
Thunk.
Thunk.

Chapter 020 - A genuine bad student

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Shen Jie received He Zhao’s call at nearly one in the morning.
He sleepily reached for his phone. He fumbled for a while but only found a puddle of saliva
by his mouth. He sat up in a bad mood, his head fuzzy. “…It’s the middle of the night. Who is
it?”
He had been rudely awakened from a sound sleep; anyone would be a little frustrated. But
when Shen Jie saw the words “Zhao-ge” on his phone, his mood immediately changed.
“Zhao-ge, what are your instructions?” Shen Jie turned on the light and sat up. “In this quiet
night, do you want thirteen spices crayfish or Yang Yuan Road’s famous fried buns? Or a
chat service?”
“……”
Shen Jie had prepared to go through fire and fury, but his Zhao-ge only said, “I have a
question for you.”
“Ask! Ask away!”
“Do you think, Xie Yu… that is, the Xie Yu you know.” He Zhao wasn’t quite sure how to say
it. He scratched his head and hesitated, then asked something that left Shen Jie unable to
sleep for the entire night. “Do you think he’ll let me hug him while I sleep?”
Shen Jie felt a shock go through his entire body. “Hah?”
Shen Jie had not visited Class 3 very much recently. Had he missed something important?
How had things developed in such a strange direction?
Was he dreaming? Maybe he wasn’t awake yet?
“Zhao-ge, I think that whether it’s the Xie Yu I know or the Xie Yu you know… he won’t
agree.” Shen Jie stammered. “I can’t even imagine the number of ways you’ll die.”
He Zhao: “Is it really that definite?”
Shen Jie: “Definitely. More definite than definitely.”
As Shen Jie finished, he felt Zhao-ge hang up with disappointment. It wasn’t an ordinary
sort of disappointment; it also contained many mysterious emotions that Shen Jie couldn’t
quite comprehend.
The next day, He Zhao didn’t knock on Xie Yu’s door to ask him to breakfast.
Before Xie Yu left, he glanced at the room across the hall. The door was closed tightly and
there was no movement. After a moment’s hesitation, he didn’t knock and went straight to
class.
“Speaking of which, our school dormitory building is really strange.” The moment he
walked into class, he heard Wan Da spreading ridiculous news again. “Didn’t I say I heard
knocking on the second floor a few days ago? Last night, it disappeared. It’s really strange.
A lot of people heard it, and it’s definitely not a hallucination.”
Liu Cunhao didn’t live at school and wasn’t moved by this talk of strangeness. “Don’t stand
around scaring yourselves. It’s nothing of the sort. Believe in science, all right? Say it with
me. Believe in science.”
Xu Qingqing said, “Know-It-All, saying it once or twice is enough. You don’t have to keep
repeating it. Why doesn’t anything of the sort ever happen in the girls’ dorm? If it really
came to knock on my door, I’d just open the door and hit its head so hard it cracks.”
A boy slowly raised his hand: “I… I heard it too. It’s real. Last night, on the third floor, there
was knocking.”
He Zhao hadn’t arrived, but Shen Jie ran very fast towards Class 3.
Shen Jie sat down in He Zhao’s seat. “Where’s Zhao-ge? Not here yet?”
Xie Yu looked at him and let him savor it.
Shen Jie had savored the look: Xie Yu was calling him rubbish. But he was genuinely curious
whether He Zhao had executed his strange and dangerous thought or not. “Last night, how
did you sleep?”
The news of knocking on the third floor spread like wildfire. Xie Yu straight up assumed
Shen Jie was one of the nosy ones and retorted, “What do you think?”
“I think… maybe you might have suffered some… mm… disturbance?”
Half the morning classes had already passed when He Zhao arrived.
“Zhao-ge, Mr. Tang said to come to his office at noon.” Liu Cunhao had just returned from
the faculty office and saw He Zhao leisurely walking into class. He paused. “—Those
eyebags of yours are quite heavy.”
He Zhao had gotten up in a hurry and hadn’t tidied himself too well. He was currently
looking down, stuffing the red string of his necklace into his collar. “Got it.”
Tang Sen had received a subject teacher’s report that morning, saying his class always had
absentees. Did they think this was their own home, coming to class when they wanted to
and not coming when they didn’t? Tang Sen had good-naturedly apologized for today’s
absentee in order to soothe the fires of the subject teacher’s rage. “Yes, I’ll definitely talk to
him properly. This is too unbecoming.”
When the absentee arrived, Tang Sen had already prepared a long lecture. He was going to
have a good chat with the student.
“He Zhao, please sit.”
This was the first time He Zhao encountered a teacher who invited him to sit down. In half-
disbelief he sat down. Tang Sen said, “…Because the contents of our chat might be a little
long.”
Half an hour later, He Zhao understood just how much longer ‘might be a little long’ meant.
“I know that young people like you have your own way of thinking, and it’s normal not to
like learning.” Tang Sen stopped to take a drink of water and continued. “I fully understand,
but even if you’re not interested in a subject, running away isn’t a good solution. A man
must have fighting spirit, bravely accept challenges, and scale to the peak with courage.”
He Zhao cut him off: “…How much longer are you going to talk?”
Tang Sen glanced at the outline of his speech and told the truth. “I’ve covered three parts
out of five. There are still some big pieces of content to come.”
“……”
In the end, Tang Sen stopped when the class bell rang. “Let’s stop here for today.”
Before he had finished, He Zhao was already standing up and preparing to leave. Then Tang
Sen’s words took a sharp turn as he continued, “Those dark circles of yours…”
He Zhao had one hand on the door. For the first time, he felt that being called into the office
by a teacher really was annoying. “We youngsters have rich night lives.”
When He Zhao returned, he lay on the desk, put his head down, and slept.
He hadn’t done up his top button and his collar lay open, the red string at his neck hanging
out. Xie Yu accidentally caught a glimpse and thought it really ruined He Zhao’s image.
A few girls were standing in the corridor, pointing their way and whispering behind their
hands with excited expressions.
Since school started, this group of girls had stuck together. Each had a water bottle and
they would come over after class to get hot water, then stand in the corridor holding their
water doing god knows what. Someone in class started a betting pool that they had come to
see someone, and Wan Da had put fifty bucks in. Later, he grew too anxious and came to
find He Zhao, hoping to get him to help check.
At that time, He Zhao had said, “Of course they’re here to see me,” but when he walked to
the window and leaned against the windowsill, the group of girls ran away with their faces
buried in their hands before he even said anything.
Wan Da jumped up and yelled, “I won! Yeah!”
He Zhao hadn’t understood. “What did you win? Who on earth did they come to see?
Running away without saying anything… is very rude.”
Wan Da recovered from his joy and noticed that something wasn’t right. “Zhao-ge, you…
your comprehension ability when it comes to girls’ hearts…”
“Hey.”
Xie Yu called.
He Zhao didn’t react.
Xie Yu leaned back, picked up his English book and rolled it up, then hit He Zhao on the
head.
“……” He Zhao opened one eye. “What?”
Xie Yu pointed at his chest. “Wear your clothes properly.”
He Zhao hadn’t reacted: “Ah?”
Xie Yu said: “Burns my eyes.”
He Zhao said, “You’re blind, right? My figure’s especially good,” as he did up his buttons.
Xie Yu said, “You didn’t sleep last night?”
He Zhao lifted his head: “So we haven’t been deskmates for so long for nothing, after all. Are
you concerned about me?”
“Yeah,” Xie Yu mocked without holding back. “Concerned about whether you were so
scared by last night’s knocking you couldn’t fall asleep.”
“……”
To be honest, He Zhao had almost been scared to death.
He really wasn’t scared of much, but ghosts were the exception.
His mom had read him horror stories like they were Grimm’s fairy tales. As a result, rather
than developing an immunity to it, the shadow of his childhood lingered incredibly deeply.
Fear was almost a reflex at this point.
But he wanted to save face.
“Not possible.”
He Zhao repeated again: “Not possible.”
“What are you chatting about?” Wan Da walked over, picked a nearby empty seat, and sat
down. “To be honest, there’s something I want your help with.”
Liu Cunhao also ambled over and said, “Can you let us see your crib notes?”
In the next period, the students had to transcribe an English paragraph from memory.
Their English teacher was very particular about correctness. If their writing wasn’t up to
standard, they had to pick a time to go to her office and do it again.
Classmates had already made ‘notes’ on their desks. All of them had done something—
some more, some less. Wan Da and Liu Cunhao were arguing over whose notes were
better: “Look at mine. Definitely won’t be found. But yours? That’s out of date…”
Liu Cunhao covered the notes he had written on the desk with his book; he was satisfied
with what he had done. “What do you know? I’ve used this method for a long time.”
As the two fought, they noticed that of the worst two students in the class, one of them was
sleeping and the other was on his phone. Impossibly calm.
“Maybe they already made their crib notes?”
“Actually, I think it’s not very safe to write on the desk. Let’s ask them? Those two have
more experience.”
“Their cribbing skills must be legendary.”
“……”
Under the heated, hopeful gazes of both Wan Da and Liu Cunhao, He Zhao gave the perfect
answer: “Why bother with that? Just open the book and copy.”
Xie Yu: “……”
Wan Da stood stunned for a while before reacting. “No crib notes beats crib notes.”
Liu Cunhao: “Badass, badass.”
But the facts proved that He Zhao wasn’t as formidable as they thought he was.
After opening the book, he couldn’t find the vocabulary word.
“Where?” He Zhao flipped back and forth. “Why is it in English for a while and Chinese for a
while? Is it really a vocabulary word from this chapter?”
Xie Yu had thought that his performance of a bad student was well-forged in fire. But now
he discovered that he was still very far from good. A genuine bad student was far more
idiotic than even he had imagined.

Chapter 021 - “Old Xie, get over here!”

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“If you did not pass the memorization test, find a time to come to the office.”
The English teacher had just finished her lesson in Class 2 next door. She had brought the
test papers from all three classes with her, and after class she came over to distribute them.
She stood in the doorway and gave her instructions, then said before handing out the
results, “You write from memory for your test like you do questions. If you can’t remember
one, then you wait for the next one, and in the end you hand in a blank sheet?”
Xie Yu couldn’t hold it in. He looked down and laughed.
He Zhao put his hand on his deskmate’s shoulder and leaned close. “Heartless. When I
asked you to let me take a peek, you didn’t let me…”
Xie Yu replied: “Why go to the trouble? Just open the book and straight up copy.”
He Zhao couldn’t say anything.
During the class’s memorization assignment, Xie Yu had hesitated for a while, then figured
he really couldn’t do that badly. He buckled down and copied out the vocabulary, and very
carefully controlled his answer accuracy rate at 60%.
He Zhao had flipped through his books for a while, then caught sight of Xie Yu’s paper out
of the corner of his eye. He started to get ideas. “You know half of it?”
Xie Yu’s face remained blank. “Is that so surprising?”
The English teacher continued: “…The rest, Xu Qingqing, give them out. Check what you did
wrong. Tonight, your homework is a mock paper covering this chapter. Do it attentively.
Next week is the monthly exam. Don’t score badly and embarrass the class.”
He Zhao wasn’t listening to the teacher. Suddenly, he heard Xie Yu say: “Look to your right.”
“Look at what?” He Zhao turned, not understanding. “There’s nothing…”
He stopped mid-sentence.
It was Wan Da and Liu Cunhao.
Those two were eyeing them with a fixed and very complicated gaze.
He Zhao could read an 800-word mini-essay from their expressions, one that auto-scrolled
past their faces. I thought you were the king of copying, but you secretly handed in a blank
sheet.
Their gazes were so heated they seemed to want to pierce him through.
“……”
He Zhao calmly and composedly averted his gaze, pretending to have seen nothing. He
turned and asked Xie Yu, “What shall we do for dinner?”
In the evening, they could take advantage of the short period of time the school gates were
open to slip out and eat a good meal.
Although the students living at school weren’t allowed to pass through the school gates at
will, at the end of the school day, the volume of students leaving through the gate was so
large that even the Mad Dog couldn’t control it.
The cafeteria’s selection was average and the food preparation wasn’t stellar, either. The
chef often added too much salt and the accompanying soup was thin. In a large pot of pork
rib soup there were often only several lonely pieces of wintermelon.
He Zhao said, “I asked Shen Jie to get us a good spot at the Gold List. Shall we go after
class?”
“Gold List?”
He Zhao took that as acceptance and glanced down, replying to Shen Jie: “Save another seat.
My deskmate is coming.”
Xie Yu hadn’t even had the time to refuse.
He was rather picky with food, but he rarely left the school grounds.
Within 500 metres of Erzhong were several small restaurants in fierce competition. In
order to win customers’ hearts they put in a lot of effort. But they didn’t have price wars:
they didn’t have discounts or give the second item for half price. Instead, starting with the
Gold List restaurant, restaurants up and down the street suddenly started changing their
names.
Valedictorian House, Peking U Dumplings, Tsinghua Bun Shop. Even the roadside food carts
and the barbecue stalls that could be chased away by city management at any time were
called 985 Barbecue.¹
From the school gate, it was quite the shocking sight.
Gold List Restaurant was at the end of the street, the farthest from the school. Around the
corner was the next street over, which was deserted.
Shen Jie picked a four-person table, sat down, and perused the menu while waiting for the
others.
The menu consisted mostly of simple fare. Shen Jie ticked off a few items they usually
ordered, then got out his phone and asked He Zhao: I’m ordering. What does your young
master Yu want? Anything he can’t eat?
He Zhao recalled the previous incident with the sweetened and unsweetened soymilk, and
thought that the list of ‘things he can’t eat’ would probably take Xie Yu three days and three
nights to enumerate.
-Coriander, onion, garlic, greasy things, sweet things. Best avoid chili too.
Shen Jie looked at the text He Zhao sent back and sank into deep thought. He flipped
attentively through the menu and for the first time realized the weight of the responsibility
that had been placed upon him. “Boss, can you hold the chili on this chili chicken? And use
less oil and don’t use spring onion.”
As he finished, he felt that the chili chicken would lose its dignity if this continued.
“…hold on, I’ll take another look.”
Shen Jie got a headache looking at the menu. He texted He Zhao: So troublesome? Are you
making things difficult for me on purpose?
He Zhao: You should be glad. This is only the part of the list I remember.
The Gold List Restaurant had been in business for many years. The decor looked old and a
big creaking fan hung from the ceiling.
Xie Yu walked to the doorway and immediately saw the banner above the entrance. Six
gold-lined words: Your name on the gold list.
Inside, a table of people was halfway through their meal. They didn’t look like Erzhong
students. With their heads of gold hair, if they attended Erzhong, their heads might have
already been plucked bare by Dean Jiang.
“Here.” Shen Jie stood up and waved.
He Zhao pushed open the door, which had a bell attached. The movement set the bell to
ringing for a while.
The gold-haired people at the next table over were drinking beer. Seeing other people come
in, they held their drinks to their mouths and glanced sideways at the newcomers, then
leisurely tipped their heads back and drank.
The most eye-catching of them had a snake tattooed on his neck, twisting into his collar.
“Sit,” Shen Jie greeted them. “A pitcher of beer?”
Now that the reputed big bros of the East and West Buildings were sitting together, they
had to have a good drink. In Shen Jie’s mind surfaced the following scene: they ate, drank,
and reminisced about the past year of being big bros.
Then he heard Xie Yu say: “Mineral water.”
He Zhao closed the menu and also said two words: “Watermelon juice.”
Shen Jie: “……”
Shen Jie talked a lot of nonsense. Going off his description, even He Zhao would seem cold
and unapproachable. Xie Yu felt that he and Zhou Dalei should get together and co-write a
novel.
“Our class teacher is running a tutoring service in private. Someone reported him and
dragged him to the Ministry of Education.”
Shen Jie was talking up a storm when someone walked up. He seemed to have drunk too
much and he wasn’t steady on his feet as he walked. He crashed into the table and right
onto Shen Jie: “Sorry, sorry… I’m a bit dizzy.”
That person apologized, then stumbled towards the bathrooms in the back.
He Zhao suddenly put down his chopsticks: “Wait.”
The person stopped.
He Zhao stood up and walked over to the person, his face going cold. “What’s up with you?”
“Zhao-ge, it’s fine. They just knocked into me,” Shen Jie cajoled. “…How can you get mad just
from drinking watermelon juice?”
Xie Yu looked up and saw the man with the snake tattoo put down his glass and look
meaningfully at the people next to him.
He Zhao said, “Idiot, you make me mad. Check your pocket. Are you missing anything?”
Shen Jie froze, and it was several seconds before he reacted. Belatedly, he reached into his
pocket. “Where’s my wallet….”
Xie Yu ate the last bite of rice in his bowl, then picked up a piece of vegetable.
“Very good with his hands. Well-honed skills.”
He Zhao pushed up his sleeves, revealing his wrists.
Then he got close to the guy and put his hand in the guy’s pocket. As expected, he found
something with a soft leather texture. The guy reflexively caught He Zhao’s hand and didn’t
let him pull it out. He Zhao said, “I’m damn well saying it only once. Let go.”
“Bros, it’s a misunderstanding, surely.” The gold-haired man with the snake tattoo spoke
the words threateningly, his meaning clear. I’m giving you an out now, so crawl away and
pretend this never happened.
He Zhao smiled and challenged: “Then you might have misunderstood the word
‘misunderstanding.’”
So the one with the snake tattoo on his neck threw down his chopsticks and stood up with
his buddies. Seven or eight of them, all with gold hair and a formidable stance.
Shen Jie looked at the headcount of his side of the fight and wanted to tell He Zhao, Never
mind, there’s only ten bucks in my wallet anyway… (T/N: about US$1.42)
He Zhao didn’t see these small fries as a threat at all, but he had to make a show of things.
He called out to Xie Yu, “Old Xie, get over here!”
The atmosphere was one of drawn swords and notched arrows. A terrible war was about to
break out.
Shen Jie looked strong. Others saw that he was always with He Zhao and thought he was a
formidable character, too. Actually, he wasn’t that good at fighting, and He Zhao didn’t have
any hopes for him.
Before their eyes, Xie Yu was still picking out fish bones. He held his chopsticks and
meticulously pulled out the fish bones one by one: “You two go on and fight. Wait for me to
finish.”
Shen Jie:“……”
He Zhao: “……”
Xie Yu was in a good mood today and didn’t want to kill anything, but there were always
idiots offering up their heads.
“What, looking down on us?” Gold Head walked to their table and flipped the plate of fish to
the ground, then kicked the table. It didn’t tip over, so he stepped on the plate of fish on the
ground. “Eat. I’m saying you can eat. Kneel down and lick it up.”
Xie Yu: “……”
“You could have left me one.”
Walking out of the Gold List Restaurant, He Zhao was still complaining that fighting
alongside Xie Yu was a bad experience. “Does anyone steal kills like you do? I was fighting
him well and good and you had to drag him away and beat him.”
Xie Yu said: “You’re too slow. You call that fighting?”
The three of them squatted by the roadside. Shen Jie pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his
pocket and lit one to calm down.
The massacre just now was simply shocking.
Shen Jie rearranged his mental list of ‘people to never provoke,’ and put Xie Yu in front of
Mad Dog.
When He Zhao fought, he took the humiliation approach. He tortured them slowly, using
words as attacks to provoke his opponent. He made people long to be beaten and have it
over with: “Please just hit me. Just beat me up.”
Xie Yu was different. He didn’t say a word and dealt lethal blow after lethal blow, tossing
people like he was tossing cabbage.
He Zhao turned to Shen Jie and said, “Look in your wallet and check if you’re missing
money.”
Shen Jie pulled the wallet from his pocket and opened it to show them. “It’s all there.
Nothing missing.”
A ten-yuan bill.
Crisp and new.
“……”
“Just this bit of money?” He Zhao felt that he had wasted his effort. “If it’s just this much,
you should have said! If it got stolen then let it be.”
Xie Yu also said, “Just ten damn bucks?”
Shen Jie: “I wanted to say it! But I didn’t get a chance!”
After chatting for a while, Shen Jie looked at the time. He needed to catch the bus home. He
said his farewells, then walked in the direction of the bus stop: “Thank you, big bros, for
graciously lending a hand and protecting my ten bucks for me. See you tomorrow. If I don’t
get home, my mom will beat my ass till it flowers.”
Night had fallen, the streetlamps bright globes in the darkness.
It was evening self-study time and the school gates were tightly shut. To enter the school
they’d probably have to climb the walls.
He Zhao dusted off his clothes and stood up: “Let’s go.”
After walking for a while, one of them laughed out loud, then the two of them started
laughing together and couldn’t stop. He Zhao slung an arm around Xie Yu’s neck and
whispered, “Fuck it. Ten bucks.”
Translation notes:
[1] Project 985: An initiative in China to develop world-class universities.
[2] 10 yuan: about US$1.42

Chapter 022 - The handsome devil’s probably trembling in his blanket

right now.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Class 2.3’s classroom was pitch-dark when seen from outside. To those not in the know, it
might seem like evening self-study had already let out.
“What are they doing now?” He Zhao lagged behind, struck by a faintly foreboding
premonition.
Xie Yu leaned against the door frame. With his eyes narrowed, he could just barely make
out the classroom interior.
Wan Da heard footsteps, turned around, and yelled with surprised joy, “Great timing! We
were about to start. Joining?”
He Zhao retreated two steps but Xie Yu pulled him back.
“Today we’re not telling stories,” Wan Da said. “We’re playing with the occult. Mad Dog just
left, so we’re very safe.”
“Sit here, Zhao-ge. We saved a seat especially for you.” He Zhao was usually quite lively and
Wan Da always roped him into things. “…It’s very thrilling.”
He Zhao internally said: Thrilling as shit. Day after day, they don’t study properly and keep
getting up to these hijinks.
Wan Da felt that leaving Xie Yu standing alone wasn’t appropriate and asked, “Yu-ge, are
you in?”
“He’s in,” He Zhao replied on Xie Yu’s behalf. Since he couldn’t avoid it, he’d drag as many
people down with him as possible. “He’s in.”
In all, four people were playing.
The rest stood to the side and watched.
Xu Qingqing, the tomboy, was especially brave. She slapped her thigh and said she wanted
to be the moderator. “Let me ask!”
As she finished speaking, she picked up the pencil.
Wan Da placed his hand over Xu Qingqing’s and didn’t object. “All right, you ask.”
He Zhao hadn’t intended to do anything, but Wan Da was eyeing him firmly. Clearly Wan Da
couldn’t muster up enough courage to have Xie Yu’s hand placed on top of his, so he was
pressing He Zhao to put his hand on next.
Xie Yu was too distant a person.
He hadn’t done anything to give others this feeling. Even if he was just lying there, quietly
napping, he made people want to keep a respectful distance. In the whole class, only He
Zhao talked and laughed with him and had managed to determinedly survive till now.
Xie Yu was the last of them.
He lifted his hand and placed it over He Zhao’s. It was a hot summer day, but Xie Yu’s
fingertips felt cool against He Zhao’s hand.
This chill burned the back of his hand.
He Zhao couldn’t tell what exactly this feeling was, either. His thoughts took a strange turn.
He had initially been worried about this damn game but suddenly he wasn’t thinking about
anything at all.
“Close your eyes, close your eyes. Close your eyes first,” Wan Da said. “Don’t open your eyes
or the ghost will take your soul when it comes.”
“If our eyes are closed, how will we see where it goes?!”
“That’s what the walkthrough says to do. Better believe it than not.”
“All right, closing them, closing them. I’ll open them when it comes.”
Xie Yu didn’t quite believe in ghosts. One of his hands held He Zhao’s and the other
supported his head as he turned to look at He Zhao.
This guy kept spouting off claims about not being scared and saying, ‘whoever’s scared is a
dog,’ but his eyes were shut tighter than anyone else’s.
Before long, He Zhao couldn’t keep himself from asking: “Are we done?”
Xu Qingqing was still reciting the spell. “Past life, past life, I’m your reincarnation. If you
want to link your fate with mine… don’t cut me off, how could it come so quickly?!”
He Zhao’s eyelashes were very long.
Xie Yu stared for a while.
Though it was dark in the classroom, Wan Da had turned on a flashlight and aimed it at the
piece of paper on the desk, so some of the surroundings were lit up as well.
Half of He Zhao’s face was hidden by the night, the other half faintly illuminated by pale
light.
The bridge of his nose was high, his features chiseled. A youthful energy radiated from his
eyes, and when he wasn’t talking or laughing he gave off a strangely oppressive air. There
were several piercings on He Zhao’s right ear and Xie Yu suddenly remembered the first
time they met during summer vacation; he had been wearing two hoops in his ear,
rebellious to the point of impropriety.
He Zhao kept his eyes shut and waited a while longer, then really couldn’t hold them shut
any more. Wan Da had even put on background music, creepy and faint. Xu Qingqing, too,
didn’t recite the spells properly and spoke them like she was possessed.
He felt that if he kept holding his eyes shut all the supernatural things would have a fine
party all around him.
He suddenly opened his eyes and unexpectedly met Xie Yu’s.
The two looked at each other. “……”
Xu Qingqing finally finished reciting the spell. Before she asked the question, she reminded
everyone again, “Don’t open your eyes. Your soul will be stolen.”
Xie Yu saw He Zhao staring frozen at him, and thought that this guy was again pretending
to be calm while his heart was trembling. He gave a lukewarm smile and mouthed to He
Zhao: It’s fake.
Xu Qingqing was usually boisterous, but in asking her question she revealed her young
girl’s heart. After hesitating for a long time and trying to get everyone to cover their ears,
she finally asked: “Does… he like me?”
“Who?” Wan Da jumped in at the first chance. “Name names. Who is this? Why didn’t I
know about this? Which pile of cow dung has caught the attention of a flower from our
Class 3?”
Xu Qingqing said, “Do you know how annoying you are? What the hell has it got to do with
you?”
Wan Da: “Not possible. No movement in the entire year can escape my eyes.”
Xu Qingqing: “…Save it.”
Eventually the pencil landed on ‘No.’
He Zhao was internally panicking: “This thing really moves?!”
“Shh, don’t say that. It’s disrespectful to the pen spirit,”¹ Wan Da said.
He Zhao: “What happens if we don’t respect it?”
Wan Da hadn’t prepared a canned response but he heard Xie Yu say, tone decisive and
brisk: “It’ll come find you at night.”
“……”
He Zhao didn’t have any questions, but Wan Da said it’d be disrespectful to invite the pen
spirit then not ask anything. He Zhao thought a while then asked: “Is there anyone in the
world more handsome than me?”
Xu Qingqing: “Shameless.”
Wan Da: “Really shameless.”
Xie Yu: “Heh.”
“Big bro, your turn.” Wan Da winked at Xie Yu.
Xie Yu said, “I don’t have any questions, either.”
He Zhao: “No can do. It’s disrespectful.”
Xie Yu: “……”
Zhou Dalei called Xie Yu. They had hardly spoken two sentences to each other but Zhou
Dalei could tell that Boss Xie was in a good mood. “What happened to make you so happy?”
Xie Yu didn’t respond and asked back: “What about you? Since you called you’ve been in a
happy daze.”
“That idiot, Da Mei, finally called!” Zhou Dalei said. “Relax, I scolded him on your behalf, too.
This bastard’s really itching for it. Can’t not yell at him.”
Da Mei’s phone call had really been unexpected. It was an international phone call, but
surprisingly no one worried about the cost. Lei’s mom and Aunt Mei both lined up to talk to
Da Mei, but Zhou Dalei hogged the phone and didn’t let go even under pain of death. In the
end, he leaned out the window with his butt sticking out, trying to escape the circling
crowd of wolves and tigers looking to snatch away the phone. He had even been kicked
twice in the butt by his mom and almost fell out of the fourth floor window.
Xie Yu imagined the scene: “That’s indeed your real mom.”
Dalei said: “Real mom. What mocking words.”
“Da Mei said he’s doing quite well over there and told us not to worry. He’s still a showoff,
and said that although he’s not considered that good-looking here, everyone abroad thinks
he’s drop-dead gorgeous. And that pot of flowers—that pot of damn flowers really is his
precious treasure. He thinks about it all the time.”
“I told him that the court where we used to play basketball has been torn down. It was just
a few scraps of cloth put together and calling it a court was a compliment. But there’s a new
sports center in the area, and a new court! We’ve lived this long and finally got a new court!
The new rubber smell in the hot sun, it makes me feel comfortable all over. When he gets
back, let’s play basketball together again.”
Zhou Dalei ranted off a long spiel.
Xie Yu listened and occasionally put in a word or two.
“Boss Xie, are you going to sleep?”
“Nope. Keep talking.”
Zhou Dalei had called from the balcony. In the middle of the night, he was worried about
waking his family. He clasped a cigarette between his fingers, the burning tip glowing in the
night. He shook the cigarette ash loose and said, “What am I saying? Actually, I’m not that
well off.”
Xie Yu didn’t say anything.
“Even though I seem to be talking so happily…” Zhou Dalei’s voice quieted down. Whether
from smoking or something else, his voice got a little hoarse. “Forget it, never mind. What
am I even saying?”
Zhou Dalei stood on the balcony and looked down. It was the same scene he had seen for
more than a decade: messy telephone lines and a comforter someone had forgotten to take
back in that had blown downstairs.
Looking further into the distance, there was a muddy basketball field that had once been
fenced up with several lengths of torn cloth. Now it had become a public toilet. The toilet
was built better than some of the residences. In a European-style, it’s several pointed roofs
standing starkly against the skyline.
He was about to hang up when he heard Xie Yu say, “I’m upset, too. Every day all those
dogshit things. People calling me Zhong family second young master, eldest young master,
second young master. It’s like dumping shit straight in my brain.”
The twisting thoughts in Zhou Dalei’s heart were cursed away by Xie Yu, just like that.
He put out the cigarette, laughed, and cursed alongside him: “—young master. I just like to
play basketball with my bros surrounded by ripped cloth. If you give me a different court to
showcase my talents, the world will be less one NBA basketball star because of it. And this
toilet. It’s really fucking ugly. One day, I’ll blow it up for you to see.”
The duo aired all the thoughts they had smothered in their hearts without holding anything
back and felt much freer.
“I fought alongside an idiot today,” Xie Yu said with a smile. “My deskmate. You know him.”
Zhou Dalei asked, “How would I know your deskmate? We’re not even in the same city. Is
he good-looking?”
Xie Yu said: “A handsome devil.”
“……”
Zhou Dalei thought about the handsome devils he had seen in his life. There weren’t that
many. Aside from his own esteemed self, the remaining people worthy of this moniker
consisted only of Xie Yu. He had completely forgotten about the incident in the police
station that summer: him, squatting and holding his head, calling someone a handsome
devil.
“Not possible. You’re pulling my leg, right?”
The two had been chatting for a while when Zhou Dalei suddenly went silent. He froze, then
asked, “What’s that noise?”
“Boss Xie, what’s that noise coming from your end? Strange.”
Xie Yu heard it too: knocking that came out of nowhere. This time, it was especially close to
his dorm room. He said offhand, “…Congrats. This is our dorm ghost.”
Zhou Dalei said, “There are ghosts in your dorm???”
“Pleasant surprise?” Xie Yu said. “Tell you about it later. The handsome devil’s probably
trembling in his blanket right now and I’m going over there to enjoy watching it.”

Chapter 023 - Complete Guide to Exorcism

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
After evening self-study, He Zhao stuck to Xie Yu as they returned to the dorm.
He even tried to get Wan Da on his left side, so that Xie Yu and Wan Da would be on either
side of him, but Wan Da dodged his attempts, very self-aware: “This-this-this isn’t good,
you two can be affectionate together.”
Xie Yu was a little annoyed: “With which of your eyes are you seeing affection?”
Wan Da internally said: With both eyes, actually.
He looked at He Zhao who was clinging to Xie Yu with his whole body and didn’t say
anything.
“Do you want to come to my room and play games?”
“Nope.”
“There’s a game tonight. Interested?”
“Nope.”
They had arrived at their doors. Xie Yu opened his door with his key, but He Zhao didn’t
move, refusing to give up or get out of the way: “The monthly exams are soon. Maybe we
could review together?”
Xie Yu said nothing and simply shut his door.
“……”
Xie Yu finished chatting with Zhou Dalei and glanced at the time: 1 a.m.
The knocking always came between 12 a.m. and 1 a.m. It happened on a different floor
every night, but always between the first and third floors. Perhaps “it” was also wary of
trouble and didn’t want to venture further upwards, so the fourth floor and above were
safe, for now.
If someone really was pretending to be a ghost, this person was also quite determined,
forgoing their sleep in the middle of the night.
Xie Yu picked up an English mock exam paper. He opened the door and went out. The
knocking had stopped and there was nothing at all in the corridor.
The motion-sensor light didn’t work too well. The weak light flickered on and off.
Xie Yu knocked on the door of the room opposite his and heard something crash into the
other side of the door. Then He Zhao’s voice came, sounding like he was on the verge of a
breakdown: “Are you still not done?! I dare you to knock again!”
“……”
Xie Yu knocked twice more.
The interior of the room went quiet.
He Zhao wrapped himself in his blankets, phone in hand, cursing internally ten thousand
times, “fuck.”
He had offhandedly baited the ghost out loud, and this thing had actually understood him.
It even played along for his benefit.
Xie Yu waited a long time. Once he eliminated the possibility that He Zhao was looking for a
weapon to fling open the door, rush out, and run headlong into a fight, he said
conciliatorily: “Open the door, it’s me, your grandpa.”
Half a minute later, the door opened.
He Zhao wore a calm, unbothered expression as he opened the door. Full marks for acting.
“Why are you here?”
Xie Yu wondered if He Zhao had intentionally tousled his hair. Aside from his hair, his wide-
open collar was also suspicious. His eyes had been viciously rubbed, like he was trying
extremely hard to look like he had been sleeping.
He Zhao didn’t let him down. He leaned against the doorframe, body curving, and scratched
his head: “…Ah, I was sleeping.”
Xie Yu looked at him and felt a headache coming on.
Someone like He Zhao… if he died one day, it’d be from over-acting.
After a moment, Xie Yu said: “Sorry for disturbing.”
“……”
He Zhao straightened up. “Ah?” He wasn’t following the script?
Xie Yu felt that he should mind his own business. If He Zhao died then so be it.
“You woke me so you have to take responsibility for me.” He Zhao grabbed on and didn’t let
go. He caught a glimpse of the thing in Xie Yu’s hand and said, “…English mock paper? Did
you want to study with me? Welcome. You don’t have to be shy. Which questions can’t you
answer? I definitely can, and I definitely won’t laugh at you.”
He Zhao: “You can rest assured if you’re studying with me.”
Oh, screw off.
Xie Yu thought it, but didn’t say it.
He Zhao’s dorm room was actually quite comfortable.
He had just moved in this semester and didn’t have many things, so it looked quite empty.
Xie Yu had pegged He Zhao as the sort who would leave his living space in a mess and
didn’t like tidying, but he was surprised by what he saw.
He Zhao put away a shirt hanging over a chair, then slapped the back of the chair and said,
“Sit.”
There was only one chair in the room. He Zhao sat on the bed with his legs crossed, right
beside the desk, so that the two could look at the paper together.
“One moment, I’ll find a pen.” He Zhao swung his long legs off the bed and stepped into his
slippers.
Xie Yu opened the mock exam on the table. Under the faint light of the desk lamp he saw a
stack of brand-new textbooks at the side of the desk, probably untouched since the day
they were handed out. Beside the books was a metal box for sweets, inside of which were
lollipops.
…This habit of his.
Xie Yu turned away and caught sight of the phone He Zhao had put on the side of the table.
The screen was still lit.
Five words on the screen were especially eye-catching.
The Complete Guide to Exorcism.
He Zhao looked for a long time and finally found two pens. Xie Yu took them, not quite sure
what they were going to do with them, considering He Zhao’s English level and Xie Yu’s
‘current level.’
As if they could really do the questions.
“Which question shall we start with?” He Zhao removed the pen cap with his teeth and held
it in his mouth as he asked.
Xie Yu: “You pick.”
He Zhao circled a multiple-choice question like he was choosing from a harem. “This one.”
Xie Yu had no objections. He Zhao stared at the question for a long time, thinking about
something.
Xie Yu thought about He Zhao’s previous performance in English class. “Give up and go to
the next question?”
He Zhao didn’t hear the mockery in these words at all and happily agreed: “I think that’s all
right. Let’s look further down then.”
Xie Yu: “……”
He Zhao gave up pretty quickly. They didn’t touch their pens at all before going on to the
next page.
“Let’s do the reading comprehension,” He Zhao said. “This one is easy. Trust me. If you have
a feel for the language, it’s guessable.”
He Zhao’s confidence as he said these words… Xie Yu could almost feel it surge out and
splatter over his face.
“You have a feel for the language?”
He Zhao: “I do. If there are three short options and one long one, pick the long one. That
kind of feel for the language.”
In the end, even He Zhao felt that doing questions like this was too irresponsible. Of course,
he might also have been worried the paper would be finished too soon and he would have
to hug the Guide to Exorcism to survive the long night. So he suggested that they do the
questions properly.
“Feel out the intention of the question writer.” He Zhao pulled up Baidu Translate and put
in the terms one by one. “First, understand the meaning.”
The duo split the work, each translating a part.
Xie Yu recognized all the English terms on sight, but he still had to put on a show. He
started to wonder if He Zhao was really mentally impaired or if his own acting wasn’t good
enough yet.
Damn, was this the world of a genuinely bad student?
Xie Yu turned and looked at He Zhao, who was sitting on the bed and chewing on his pen
cap, totally irreverent.
“This person wrote letters to his friends from America, describing China’s culture and
specialties,” He Zhao translated. “The Great Wall, China’s iconic construction… this… wants
him to see the Great Wall, if he comes to China.”
“……”
Even reading off the translation He Zhao still got the logic muddled.
Xie Yu was a little dazed. Holding the pen, he suddenly remembered the day he first
stepped through the Zhong family’s front door.
Zhong Jie had straight up thrown something, then gone upstairs without another word.
Zhong Guofei had followed him upstairs, and father and son had talked in the study for a
long time before Zhong Jie reluctantly came down for the four to eat an extremely awkward
lunch.
Zhong Guofei really did treat Gu Xuelan well, and Xie Yu did believe those two were really
in love.
But that was Zhong Guofei’s love for Gu Xuelan.
That didn’t necessarily mean that Xie Yu would have a share in it.
“That kid Zhong Jie… he wants to be strong and be better than others at everything.” When
Zhong Guofei looked for Xie Yu to talk, his expression held both pride and worry.
“Especially after his mother passed. He hasn’t been coping well.”
He said these words very diplomatically, and Xie Yu wasn’t an idiot. The meaning in it was
clear.
The day of the wedding, Gu Xuelan was very happy. Xie Jiang had left a pile of debt for them,
so they had been hiding and running for their lives for the last ten years. Xie Yu had never
seen her smile like that before.
Gu Xuelan, wearing her wedding dress, got a little shy as she looked at her reflection in the
mirror. “I… these clothes…”
Zhong Guofei’s arms encircled her from behind: “Very beautiful.”
That day, Xie Yu had hidden in the bathroom and smoked a cigarette.
“She’s indeed quite beautiful. Who knows how Old Zhong got to know her. This woman isn’t
simple.”
“The child she brought with her isn’t simple,” another person said. “If he’s mediocre, that’s
all right, if not… can’t guarantee what thoughts he’ll have.”
“Doesn’t look like him, does he?”
“The Zhong family has a big business. Even if she has no intentions now, this might not be
the case in the future. Didn’t the same thing happen to the Huang family? That stepson
usually keeps a low profile, but in the end he still made a big scene and tried to snatch the
company.”
“The Huang family?”
“Don’t you know? A while ago, a few shareholders got together…”
“So the answer to this is definitely B!”
He Zhao picked the answer with full confidence. The circles he made around his chosen
answer looked like a pile of dung. After circling B, he crooked a finger and flicked Xie Yu’s
forehead. “Hey, what are you thinking?”
Xie Yu came back to himself and looked down at the circle.
This guy, He Zhao. He had done research on Baidu Translate for nearly half an hour… and
still managed to pick wrong.

Chapter 024a - All the other kids have gone to play basketball.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“Yo, Jie-ge!”
Very early in the morning, Wan Da gathered his things and headed to the cafeteria for
breakfast. When he turned, he saw Shen Jie holding a pack of soymilk heading up the stairs,
and waved and said hello.
He had met Shen Jie during an exam where they had forged a friendship through comparing
their answers and cheating together. Although they didn’t talk often, they always had an
inexplicable feeling of camaraderie when they met.
Shen Jie was about to reach the third floor landing when he heard a shout. “Hey, Know-It-
All.”
“Why are you at the dorms?” Wan Da walked over. “Looking for Zhao-ge?”
Wan Da saw the bag in Shen Jie’s hand swinging back and forth and felt the impulse to grab
it and spin around in circles. “Yes.”
Wan Da remembered that He Zhao had skipped morning classes and the subject teachers
were all very angry about it. He said in understanding, “Zhao-ge asked you to come get
him? Not a morning person, huh.”
“Comrade Know-It-All, what do you take Zhao-ge for?” Shen Jie asked. “Does he look like
the sort of person who would ask people to come get him in order to not be late for class?
You think too highly of him.”
Wan Da: “…Indeed, I was too naive.”
Shen Jie continued, “Your class’s new form teacher… he’s not bad.”
“Mr. Tang?”
“Ah, right, the one surnamed Tang.”
Class 2.3 had gone through the perturbations of changing form teachers together. When
they wrote the petition, a feeling of rising up for great justice had rippled through the
whole second year class. Wan Da smiled and said, “Old Tang is quite a good guy.”
Shen Jie: “Really formidable. Never seen anything like this before.”
Tang Sen had not only called He Zhao over to have a very long and ugly conversation, he
had even tried to understand He Zhao’s soul on a deeper level. Eventually, he had even
called Shen Jie over.
This was the first time Shen Jie had been called to the office by a teacher from a different
class. He drank two cups of piping hot tea and sat there, unsure what to do with himself.
“Sir, I’m from Class 2.8.”
Tang Sen said kindly: “I know you’re from class 8.”
“I quite like the students in my class. They’re cordial and friendly, and students and
teachers help each other, moving forward hand in hand. I’m quite happy and don’t have any
intention to change classes right now.” Shen Jie felt like the teacher was eyeing him
strangely and wondered if Tang Sen was trying to poach him.
In the end, Tang Sen explained that he had sent for Shen Jie in the hopes that Shen Jie could
help He Zhao.
“I looked into it and you have quite a good relationship with our He Zhao. I think that, in his
heart, he does want to come to class, but the difficulty lies in fighting the draw of his bed
and winning. He doesn’t have much self-control. If possible, would you invite him to come
to class with you? Sorry for the inconvenience.”
“……”
Shen Jie was a little shocked but still replied, “Sure, sure, sure, I will.”
Tang Sen continued, “I know that young people like you have rich night lives. I also want to
understand what video games you young people are playing these days. Do you know if He
Zhao has been playing any video games recently?”
“What games is Zhao-ge playing these days?” Wan Da asked.
“It’s a little hard to talk about.” Shen Jie stopped swinging the plastic bag in his hands. His
expression was complicated as he said, “…Miracle. Miracle Nikki.”
Wan Da: “…Hah?”
The two talked as they walked upstairs. Wan Da wasn’t sure why he was following along,
but by the time he realized what he was doing, he and Shen Jie were both standing in front
of He Zhao’s door.
Shen Jie’s mission today was to drag Zhao-ge from his blankets.
He happened to have a key to He Zhao’s room. He had bugged He Zhao on the first day of
school for half a day before getting his hands on it. The winds of fortune had blown his way:
when he wanted to skip class, he could go to the dorms and hide out in perfect comfort.
Shen Jie opened the door and said, “Let me release your seal, Zhao-ge! Although the bed
may trap your body, it cannot trap your soul.… Get up, and come with me…”
Shen Jie cut himself off halfway.
Wan Da urged him from behind: “Still sleeping? Just shake him awake.”
Wan Da walked up, glanced inside the dorm room, and was also stunned speechless.
“……”
“Can you hit me?”
“You… hit me, too.”
The beds in the dorm room were singles where more than one occupant would make for a
tight squeeze.
The thermostat was turned down low and a gust of cold air had rushed out the moment the
door opened.
Xie Yu’s head was pillowed on He Zhao’s arm. His back was to the door and it looked like he
was lying in He Zhao’s embrace from where Shen Jie was standing.
A corner of the blanket lay against He Zhao’s waist. Most of the comforter was covering Xie
Yu.
Half of Xie Yu’s face was covered by his hair, revealing only his nose and chin. Probably
disturbed by the noise, he frowned in his sleep and subconsciously burrowed deeper into
the blanket.
This movement, in turn, disturbed He Zhao.
Shen Jie watched as He Zhao, in a very natural movement, raised the arm Xie Yu was using
as a pillow. His hand moved, turned, and landed on the back of Xie Yu’s head, fingers
threading lightly into Xie Yu’s hair as he murmured, “…Don’t fuss.”
Wan Da calmed down. He wasn’t sure what to say and eventually just said, “Wo-ow.”
“Maybe it’s not what we’re thinking.” At last, Shen Jie closed the door and sat in the
stairwell with Wan Da, thinking hard. The soymilk was left on the floor. “We’re definitely
thinking too far in the wrong direction.”
Wan Da asked, “Does Zhao-ge let you lie in his bed, too?”
Shen Jie didn’t even need to think about it. “Impossible. The moment I lie down he’ll
certainly kick me off.”
“……”
The conversation died again.
Wan Da patted Shen Jie’s shoulder. “Your responsibility is heavy. Bro, I’m gonna go. Class is
about to start.”
Xie Yu’s circadian rhythm was very accurate and he slept lightly. Shen Jie opening the door
just now had already half woken him up.
He lay on the bed, intentionally dawdling for several minutes. When he opened his eyes, the
first thing he saw was He Zhao’s Adam’s apple.
Shen Jie was still sitting on the stairs in deep thought.
Then he heard something crash onto the ground behind him with a dull thud, followed by
Zhao-ge’s cursing: “Fuck it.”
Morning class was Tang Sen’s literature reading period. He Zhao was already more than ten
minutes late.
“Can you walk faster?” Xie Yu was supporting him and he was already frustrated by the
time they arrived at the base of the class building.
He Zhao, who was holding soymilk, shot back, “…Whose fault is this?”
Bright and early in the morning, he had been kicked out of bed by Xie Yu and his right ankle
had crashed straight into the chair.
When they reached the floor their classroom was on, they could see from afar that Tang Sen
was waiting outside the classroom doorway. He paced back and forth in the corridor,
something in his hand.
He Zhao had almost finished the cup of soymilk in his hand. He raised his arm and tossed it
toward the trash can, the cup making an elegant arc.
Thud.
It didn’t swerve or miss. It landed perfectly.
“The Spanish Inquisition is lying in wait,” He Zhao laughed. “Sorry. You might end up
standing in the corridor with me.”
For some unknown reason, the more Xie Yu interacted with He Zhao, the more he got the
impression that most of He Zhao’s smiles were a habitual facade. Right now, for example,
he didn’t actually seem all that happy.
He Zhao thought that Tang Sen had come to interrogate them, but Mr. Tang stopped the
stopwatch in his hand and patted He Zhao’s back. “Thirteen minutes and twenty-six
seconds. Classmate He Zhao, that’s a big improvement from yesterday.”
He Zhao: “…Ah?”
Mr. Tang put the watch away and said, “What’s the matter with your foot? Quick, go to the
nurse’s office to take a look.”
Before He Zhao could react, Tang Sen had already bent down to inspect He Zhao’s ankle. He
said, worried, “Xie Yu, you go to class first. I’ll take him to the nurse’s office.”
Xie Yu’s liking for Mr. Tang promptly increased quite a lot. He was about to agree when He
Zhao said, “Today, this guy has to be responsible for me till the end.”
Xie Yu: “…I should’ve broken your other leg, too.”
Liu Cunhao was halfway through reciting a poem. He stopped and whispered in Wan Da’s
ear, “Zhao-ge’s leg injury today looks very realistic.”
When He Zhao was late for class, he always had an excuse at the ready.
Class 3 was already guessing what excuse Zhao-ge would have for being late today.
[Eng Rep – Xu Qingqing]: Didn’t get it right. This time Zhao-ge’s excuse is really exciting.
[Class Rep – Liu Cunhao]: Do you remember the day school started, when he made Shen Jie
say he had something gastric? Shen Jie still gets dragged by Zhao-ge to the nurse’s office to
get medicine sometimes.
[Gym Rep – Luo Wenqiang]: Why?
[Class Rep – Liu Cunhao]: Zhao-ge says it’s to make a useless thing useful. Might need the
excuse next time. If he has to act, he’s gotta act to the very end.
[Eng Rep – Xu Qingqing]: ……
Liu Cunhao finished chatting, then secretively stuffed his phone away. The he discovered
that Wan Da, who was usually the King of Gossip, hadn’t moved. “What happened to you
today? Upset?”
Wan Da shook his head: “I suffered trauma this morning.”
Wan Da’s phone was vibrating constantly, but it wasn’t from Class 3’s private group chat. It
was from some Feng Feng or Yan Yan, whom he wasn’t sure he even knew. After being
single for seventeen years, who would’ve known that he’d also be surrounded by girls one
day.
–What’s the phone number for He Zhao from your class? Just give it to me, I promise I won’t
say I got it from you.
–Da Da, we’ve known each other for so many years. Help me out? I wrote a letter and want
to give it to Xie Yu. Could you give it to him for me?
–Damn you grandpa what’s taking you so long! Are we friends?! It’s taking you so much
effort just to bring He Zhao out. The lifelong happiness of your sisters is in your hands.
–Does He Zhao have a girlfriend? What kind of girls does he like?
Wan Da had a splitting headache.
Don’t ask! The two of them might not like girls at all!! Ahh!!

Note from the translator: As chapter 24 is 10K words raw, which is about 3 times the length
of an average chapter in this book, this chapter will be split into 3 parts.

Chapter 024b -All the other kids have gone to play basketball.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
In the school doctor’s office.
The school doctor was very familiar with He Zhao and even knew him by name. He wore a
white coat and sat at his desk, writing out a prescription. When he saw He Zhao walk
through the door, he said, “Yo, what’s the matter today?”
Half of He Zhao’s weight rested on Xie Yu’s body as he greeted the school doctor: “Morning,
Lu-ge.”
Xie Yu walked He Zhao over to the bed and helped him sit.
Tang Sen was the only one who looked worried: “Dr. Lu, you’d better take a look. Seems
like a serious sprain. Do you think it’s better to prescribe medicine or to go to the hospital
for a diagnosis?”
Dr. Lu looked gentle and scholarly, but he also wasn’t to be trifled with. Many students
faked sick every day and if he had been a pushover, the school doctor’s office would have
become a shelter for students playing truant.
He finished the prescription, tore it off, put it neatly to one side, then put down his pen and
stood up. “Don’t worry. This lot, especially this one from your class, He Zhao, are really
good act–”
Dr. Lu bent down as he spoke. When he touched He Zhao’s ankle he swallowed back the
words ‘good actors.’ “Really twisted it, have you.”
The injury didn’t reach the bone. After a cold compress to reduce the swelling, the school
doctor also sprayed some White Yunnan medicine on the ankle.
“Rest for a few days, no vigorous exercise,” Dr. Lu said. “If there are any complications or
you don’t feel well, come over. Be careful, and don’t dwell on it and go out and start a fight.
If you fight any more you’ll become a cripple.”
He Zhao’s ankle attracted a crowd the moment he returned to class.
Liu Cunhao lay on the table and looked He Zhao over from top to bottom, saying
thoughtfully, “…Looks pretty real.”
The gym rep, Luo Wenqiang, had also come to join in on the fun. He was a very enthusiastic
promoter of sports activities and was very familiar with common injuries. He could tell at a
glance: “It’s real. Class rep, he really twisted it.”
Recently, they had been practicing basketball in gym class. Luo Wenqiang was trying to get
a team together. Although there wasn’t a tournament coming up, his sports-loving heart
was constantly on the move.
The first person he had intended to invite was He Zhao.
It was rather a pity that He Zhao now had a twisted ankle.
Liu Cunhao said, “Ah, it’s real? What happened?”
Xu Qingqing came over to collect the English assignments from yesterday. He Zhao looked
for his paper as he replied, “You’ll have to ask my deskmate.”
Xie Yu said calmly, “I kicked him. Sorry.”
Xu Qingqing took the paper and was surprised. “You’re not handing in a blank sheet today?”
“That’s the work I did seriously,” He Zhao said. “I scare even myself when I get serious. It’s
definitely good.”
Xu Qingqing gave the first page a cursory glance, then flipped to the reading
comprehension questions in the back. “……” Based on what she knew of these questions,
none of his answers were right.
But she worried that saying this aloud would be a blow to He Zhao’s confidence, so she was
instead about to give some words of praise when she heard Xie Yu say in a lukewarm voice
from the side, “Good, my ass. You might as well have handed in a blank paper.”
Yeah.
Very well said.
Xu Qingqing almost applauded.
They had gym class in the morning. Dr. Lu had given He Zhao a note and Luo Wenqiang let
him stay in the classroom to rest.
He Zhao said rest, but he really meant sleep.
He Zhao lay on the desk and one could only see the back of his head from any angle.
Although he was wearing his school uniform neatly, he radiated a languid air. The corridor
was noisy and he couldn’t sleep well, so he turned his head and changed his position, his
arm lining up with the edge of the table.
“He Zhao and Xie Yu, this pair of deskmates… I don’t even know what to say.” When the
class dismissal bell rang, the English teacher returned to the faculty office and got water
from the cooler. “The English papers they turned in today had identical answers. Neat and
tidy. Don’t know who copied from who… but what’s the point of copying, anyway? Not a
single right answer. All wrong.”
The Math teacher was currently correcting assignments. Aside from the two words, ‘Xie Yu,’
written neatly on the cover of the workbook in big letters with a sharp and cold
handwriting, the contents were a terrible sight. He frowned and shook his head. “With
these grades, how did he even get into high school? Even his middle school knowledge is
wrong.”
Another older teacher counselled them, “As long as they don’t make trouble, it’s all right. If I
do say so myself, the two of them have actually improved some this term. They’re more
restrained. Looks like this seating assignment was actually quite useful. As for their
grades… grades can’t be rushed, anyway.”
The teacher continued, “Look at Old Tang. He’s so calm. Not worried at all.”
Tang Sen had transferred over from a top-tier school. Although he had taught for nearly
twenty years, they didn’t know him very well. They only knew that he was old friends with
Dean Jiang; they had over ten years of friendship between them.
Dean Jiang was an ‘overbearing’ person, but his friend, Tang Sen, had a good temper.
Tang Sen was looking down and fiddling with his phone, and seemed not to hear. He only
looked up when the teacher called him a second time. “What? Sorry, sorry, wasn’t paying
attention.”
“What are you doing?” The English teacher had gotten her water. As she passed by she
stopped, bent down, and looked. “…A game?”
On the screen was a long-haired cartoon girl wearing a dress. To the side was a list of
various types of clothes.
Tang Sen immediately exited the app and returned to the home screen, not sure how to
explain. “Ah… that…”
Thankfully, the English teacher had just taken a passing glance and hadn’t looked too
closely. The class rep knocked on the door, asking for the corrected exercise books from the
English teacher. She turned around, the little interlude from just now already forgotten.
“Class 8, right? The vocab exercises are marked. They’re on the table. The assignments from
three of the classes are all over there—find your class’s yourself.”
Gym class was basketball practice, as usual.
The girls had more academic class time in their schedules and, as a result, hadn’t
participated in this kind of activity before. When the ball flew over their first reaction
wasn’t to catch it, but to hide their faces in their hands and dodge or duck. The gym teacher
took them aside to practice on their own while the guys took the basketball and were
allowed free activity time.
Xu Qingqing wasn’t worried about getting hit. And after practicing for a while she felt bored
and ran over to the guys to play.
“Qiangqiang, I hear your team still needs players.” Xu Qingqing walked over, bouncing the
ball. “What do you think about me? Can I join?”
Luo Wenqiang was currently practising shooting baskets. His muscles were tanned bronze
and he looked like a bodybuilder. He jumped, tossed the basketball, wiped off his sweat,
and said, “Qing-jie, are you being serious?”
Xie Yu had his back to the chain-link fence of the basketball court. He sat under the shade,
an earbud stuffed in one ear.
Music drifted through his ear.
He suddenly lifted his hand to the volume control. The music grew quieter and quieter
until, finally, it was muted.
Xu Qingqing: “Very serious. Think about when our class joins a tournament.”
Before she finished, Wan Da came up from behind and took the ball from her. He ran off as
he laughed, “If that time really comes, our class will definitely be in last place.”
As Wan Da ran away, he crashed into Liu Cunhao and knocked the ball in Liu Cunhao’s hand
flying.
Liu Cunhao immediately exploded. “You get over here! I was preparing to shoot a three-
pointer, do you know?!”
As Xie Yu was watching them, he felt something ice-cold suddenly stick to his face. He
turned to see He Zhao at his side. At some point he had limped up next to Xie Yu, two
bottles of chilled soda in his hand.
“Little friend,” He Zhao stuffed the soda into Xie Yu’s hand and said, “All the other kids have
gone to play basketball. Why are you sitting around here on your own?”
The soda was peach-flavored and the condensation on the side of the can wet Xie Yu’s hand.
Wan Da caught sight of He Zhao. Wan Da, who was currently being pursued by both Xu
Qingqing and Liu Cunhao, yelled from afar, “Zhao-ge, why are you here?”
He Zhao said: “Came down to see my suave deskmate.”
Wan Da tripped and nearly fell.
He Zhao twisted open the bottle cap and the smell of peach emerged alongside a cold mist.
“It’s too boring in the classroom and that group of girls is chittering outside. Couldn’t even
sleep.”
“That lot wasn’t there to see you,” Xie Yu said.
“Why wouldn’t they be here to see me… I still don’t understand this logic. Wan Da said that
last time, too.”
The whole year knew about He Zhao’s twisted ankle. This group of girls was so worried
they couldn’t pay attention in class.
“What do you think they stand in the corridor every day during class to do?”
He Zhao lifted his head and took a drink of the cold and refreshing drink, then said, “How
would I know? To see the scenery? To get some sunlight and vitamin D?”
“……”
Going by EQ, this person was an idiot.
Now that Xie Yu was thinking about EQ, he paused for a moment. He poked He Zhao with
the sweating bottle. “Hey, cripple, have you been in a relationship before?”
He Zhao was currently watching Luo Wenqiang and the others play basketball. Aside from
Luo Wenqiang, who was passable, the others were, frankly speaking, terrible. It seemed like
they were only there to mess things up. But he wasn’t stingy with his praise: “Good throw!
Hao-zi, you’re damn good at the snake dodge.”¹
Liu Cunhao turned his head and made a ‘Cool!’ hand gesture, looking full of confidence.
He Zhao felt something cold against his forearm and then reacted to what Xie Yu said. “I just
twisted my ankle. Surely you don’t have to call me a cripple?”
“To be frank.” He Zhao rested his arm on Xie Yu’s shoulder and pointed to the basketball
court’s metal gate like he was bragging. “You could line up big bro’s exes back to back from
over there to Gold List Restaurant and back.”
Without a second word, Xie Yu smashed the soda into He Zhao’s face.
“I was joking! Joking.” He Zhao raised his hand to his face and it came away wet. “…Little
friend, your temper is rather hot.”
After gym class let out, they discovered that He Zhao and Xie Yu’s English practice papers
had been put up on a little noticeboard beside the blackboard. A public shaming.
Beside theirs was posted the paper with the highest score in the class, Xu Qingqing’s 120-
point paper, a stark comparison.
Class 2.3 trickled back from the basketball courts.
Liu Cunhao came over to rubberneck and was stunned speechless for a long time. “The two
of you… the two of you… why did you copy from each other?!” Even if they really had to
copy from someone, copying from each other of all things? Weren’t they aware of what
their grades were like?
“Because I believe in my deskmate.” He Zhao was sitting in the last row, very close to the
noticeboard. He turned around and sat with his legs to either side of the chair back,
extremely eye-catching. “And my deskmate believes in me.”
For a long time, Liu Cunhao wasn’t sure what to say. He wiped away the sweat from playing
basketball just now and said, “You two sure are brave.”
The reality was that Xie Yu hadn’t intended to write his paper like this.
But after observing last evening, He Zhao’s answering ability was frankly terrifying.
Xie Yu finally understood why, in his first year, although he had put in so much effort and
thought into lowering his score in order to fail all his subjects, he had still only been
second-to-last in the year.
The precious throne of ‘last in the year’ was claimed firmly by He Zhao.
So Xie Yu intentionally avoided picking the right answers while doing questions. He
resolved that he’d outdo He Zhao and take first place in the monthly exams.
First place from the bottom.
Translation notes:
[1] snake dodge: dodging side to side.

Chapter 024c - All the other kids have gone to play basketball.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
As the monthly exams neared, Wan Da and the others stopped telling ghost stories and
focused on revision during evening self study.
Mad Dog came around to check on them. Seeing Class 2.3’s enthusiasm for studying, he was
satisfied with what he saw, a rare occurrence. “Not bad. I’m giving you special praise. Keep
it up. Your class has worked very hard lately. Students should study like this. Very good.”
Tang Sen finished dinner and came over to see them. Even though it was a hot summer day,
he was still holding a hot beverage cup.
Mad Dog: “Old Tang. Good timing. I have something to talk to you about.”
Tang Sen left his cup on the podium and followed Dean Jiang out.
“Don’t you feel that Mad Dog has been coming to our class a lot lately?” Wan Da gossiped as
he did his math questions. “Our Old Tang is good friends with Mad Dog. Such good friends,
they even wear the same pair of pants.”
He Zhao’s books lay open on his desk while his hands messed with his phone in his desk
drawer.
Teachers rarely gave the two of them, He Zhao and Xie Yu, trouble, but Mad Dog was an
exception. Old ginger is more spicy and Dean Jiang was the spiciest of the bunch. When he
started trying to ‘cure’ people, he had no restraint and gave the impression that he could
start fighting with the students at any time. He wasn’t worried at all. He must have been a
tyrant who ruled over the land when he was young.
So whenever Mad Dog came around to check on the class, the two of them would pretend to
be studying along with the rest of the class, however reluctantly.
Xie Yu tossed a pen over and warned He Zhao. “Mad Dog.”
“Cover for me,” He Zhao said, not even lifting his head. “This is an important event and I
can’t be distracted. Love you.”
“Take those last two words back.”
“？”
“It’s disgusting.”
After throwing the pen, Xie Yu found that it was his only pen, so he reached out to get it
back.
And accidentally glimpsed He Zhao’s phone screen.
In Xie Yu’s memory, his deskmate had long since put the dressup game aside. He had even
gotten Xie Yu to play a ‘Men’s Romance’—a shooter game.
He had assumed that the dressup game was no longer popular in the little girls’ cliques.
Dean Jiang chatted with Old Tang for a while before leaving to check on the classes
downstairs. He Zhao straightforwardly took his phone out and used it in plain sight on top
of the desk.
The screen showed a cartoon girl with long hair, a floral dress, and a blush on her cheeks.
She stood under a tree, hands locked in prayer.
Then the screen gradually darkened and several lines of text slowly appeared:
Tomorrow… is my date with him…
Will he come?
Will he like the cherry blossom biscuits I made for him?
Xie Yu: “……”
Wan Da had said, ‘I want to revise, and I’ll show you all at the monthly exams, none of you
better come over and disturb me,’ but he was now halfway through his questions and,
frankly speaking, bored. He bit the end of his pen and glanced left and right. Finally, his
gaze landed on two heads pressed closely together in the last row.
He Zhao’s hand was on the back of Xie Yu’s neck, five fingers slightly bent, as if pulling Xie
Yu closer.
He had no idea what they were talking about.
“Why didn’t he go on the date with me?” He Zhao was close to breaking. “Bastard. He said
yesterday that he would come, and the affection meter is full.”
Xie Yu looked at the young girl crying sorrowfully in the rain on the screen and wasn’t sure
how to react.
In the lower right corner were several icons and one of them had a small red dot. Xie Yu
asked, “Did he send you a text just now?”
He Zhao said, “Tyrant CEO said something came up at his company and he’d be a little late.
Then there were three response choices.”
Xie Yu felt like he’d discovered something. “Which did you pick?”
He Zhao: “Of course I reprimanded him for being late.”
“……”
“Are you sick?” Xie Yu was getting a headache just from listening. “Who the hell would go
on a date with you like this?”
“What kind of guy is this?! Just because of that, he won’t date me?! This bastard CEO.” He
Zhao kept cursing, but he still shoved the phone into Xie Yu’s hands. “Then what do I do
next… fuck, the bastard’s affection for Little Cutie is going down.”
Xie Yu tapped on the screen lightly, following the narrative. “Apologize to the bastard.”
He Zhao: “……”
“Apologize.” Xie Yu shoved the phone back. “Do you want the bastard’s love or not?”
“…Fuck it.”
He Zhao hesitated for a long time without doing anything. Eventually, he held back his
humiliation and touched the choice, “Sorry about earlier today.”
He Zhao continued, “If He Xi finds a boyfriend like this, I’m killing him. Won’t even think
twice. What the hell do girls today even look for?”
It was almost the weekend.
Aside from the students for whom it wasn’t convenient to go home because they lived far
away, most of the students living in the dorms packed up every Friday and went home.
Parents always worried whether their kids were eating enough at school, so they urged
their kids to come back during the weekends.
Xie Yu got a phone call from Gu Xuelan as evening self-study let out. “Are you coming home
over the weekend?”
Xie Yu stood in the corridor. In front of him was pitch darkness, and behind him were the
sounds of Wan Da and He Zhao messing around. The desks and chairs were being shoved
around, making a terrible noise.
“Zhao-ge, do you want to join our basketball team? We’re very good.”
“It’s fine if I’m giving the compliments, but now you come up and personally brag to me…
that’s a bit too much. Liu Cunhao’s terrible dodge from earlier today… even I couldn’t bring
myself to say anything.”
“…You called him awesome!”
“…That was fake, couldn’t you tell?”
Xie Yu smiled slightly and replied, “I might not go back. We’ll see.”
Gu Xuelan held on to the receiver, sighing so lightly Xie Yu almost couldn’t hear it. Then she
said, “How many weeks has it been now that you haven’t come back?”
Xie Yu looked for a reason all parents under the sun would be happy to hear and shoved it
forward. “It’s almost the monthly exams. I have to revise.”
This term, Xie Yu’s grades were all right. He hadn’t gotten into trouble, and the new
homeroom teacher, Mr. Tang, told Gu Xuelan that Xie Yu followed the rules quite well and
that he hoped she would rest easy.
When this reason was offered, Madam Gu had nothing more to say.
“Then study hard,” Gu Xuelan said. “After the exams, come home. Whatever you want to eat,
Mom will make it for you. How can school food be as good as home cooking…”
Xie Yu said, “Mm,” several times and chatted a little while, then hung up.
He Zhao had already packed his things. He knocked Xie Yu’s head from behind as he
laughed and joked. Rather than knocked, ruffled would be more appropriate. “Little friend,
are you going home for the weekend?”
Xie Yu looked cold and harsh, but his hair was especially soft. He Zhao couldn’t help himself
and ruffled it twice more.
“Cripple,” Xie Yu called out. “I gave you a hard time today and now you’re opening a dye
shop, are you?”¹
Seeing Xie Yu was about to use his fists, He Zhao dodged. “Calm down. Peace breeds
prosperity, peace breeds prosperity.”
Wan Da left first to pack his things.
Xie Yu and He Zhao walked side-by-side out of the school building. After a very long time,
He Zhao said, “I’m not going back over the weekend, either.”
The streetlights cast long shadows behind them.
“What are you staying in school for?” Xie Yu asked. “Really testing the Exorcism Guide?”
He Zhao was first stunned, then wanted to say something but didn’t in the end. He didn’t
put on any of his colorful acts. He raised his hand to scratch at his head, then suddenly
laughed. “Yeah, I want to try it.”
After walking a little further, Xie Yu asked, “He Xi. Is that your sister’s name?”
“That damn girl.” He Zhao stared at the streetlights and grit out the words, then went silent
for a moment. “…Should I brag about how beautiful my sister is and how she obviously
takes after me? We haven’t seen each other in a few years. She’s probably quite pretty. Girls
change a lot when they grow up, right? She was so ugly when she was young. As round as a
ball.”
He Zhao said it lightly and Xie Yu felt that something seemed off, but it didn’t seem like the
right time to ask.
He Zhao, on the other hand, was fine with it and spilled his entire family history. Simple and
clean and especially calm. “Divorced. She’s with my mom.”
“It’s nice.”
He Zhao turned. “What?”
Xie Yu said, “Your sister’s name.”
“And what about me?” He Zhao asked. “At this point in the conversation you should
compliment me, too.”
Xie Yu walked toward the dorm building, ignoring him. “You? Get lost.”
Wan Da didn’t go home over the weekend, either. His reason was the same as Xie Yu’s—“I
need to revise”—but the believability of his excuse was much higher than Xie Yu’s.
“I’m serious. My mom makes very good food and my computer is at home and I spend too
much time playing.” Wan Da lay on the table and complained to Liu Cunhao about his
troubles. “The moment I get home, it’s like summer or winter break again. I can’t control
myself. How could I waste such a glorious life on studying?”
Liu Cunhao nudged him with a forearm, indicating to him to shut up.
Wan Da sat up straight and looked around, then lay back down. “What are you doing? No
teachers are around… even if there are, I’m not worried.”
There were no teachers around but Class 2.3’s respected, terrifying study rep was.
Xue Xisheng was famous in the year. He was every teacher’s pet and a holy man in the eyes
of students. “I hope everyone can fight, strive, and improve together.” His desk was full of
little notes, mnemonics, vocabulary words, sentence structures…
Xue Xisheng wore thick spectacles and he carried a stack of extra practice questions as he
walked in.
Xu Qingqing passed by. She bumped into him and jumped from shock. “…Study rep, your
eyebags.”
Xue Xisheng’s footsteps were silent and he looked extremely overworked. He pushed up his
spectacles with one hand and said, “It’s all right. I can keep studying. Good luck on the
monthly exams, Xu Qingqing.”
“Good… good luck.” Xu Qingqing wasn’t sure what to say and replied blankly.
Liu Cunhao: “Mad Dog has a phrase, what is it… You won’t die from studying, so study until
you die. I think our study rep is the representation of that.”
Wa Da was dazed: “So dark circles can become that dark.”
He Zhao wasn’t late today. He walked into class right after Xie Yu. “Good morning.”
Wan Da: “Good morning.”
“What are you looking at?” He Zhao had his bag slung over one shoulder as he went over.
Liu Cunhao said: “Looking at the study rep’s dark circles.”
“Damn, they’re dark.” Even He Zhao was shocked.
Xie Yu was walking around them, about to go to his side of the desk to sleep. Without even
looking back, He Zhao caught Xie Yu’s wrist and pulled him over. “Old Xie, look. Those dark
circles. How long has it been since he slept?”
Early in the morning, Xue Xisheng had brewed a cup of coffee. He drank it now as he
memorized English vocabulary.
Xie Yu had no interest in dark undereye circles. He just wanted to catch up on sleep and
reached out to pull He Zhao’s hand away.
He Zhao was still rubbernecking the ‘panda.’ But his thought processes weren’t quite like
an average person’s and as he looked, his train of thought shifted gears. “Did he draw them
on himself? When I was young, in order to pretend that I was studying hard, I did that to
hoodwink my mom.”
Xie Yu said sarcastically, “Do you think we can really find another you in this world?”
He Zhao: “You’re praising me so much that I even feel a little shy.”
Xie Yu said internally, Like hell I’m praising you.
He Zhao often didn’t read between the lines and kept on going, totally unaware of the
atmosphere. “In the entire world, there’s only one of your Zhao-ge.”
Wan Da applauded from the side. “Classy.”
Liu Cunhao also applauded. “A flower among flowers.”
Morning self-study was math.
The math teacher took advantage of everyone being more alert in the morning and made
everyone memorize the standard answer formats.
He found a chair and sat at the podium to correct today’s homework.
Xie Yu lay on the table and slept. The sun shone in from the window.
Xie Yu faintly felt the glare against his eyelids. He frowned, still half-asleep. After a while,
the annoying light, which seemed to come through a layer of paper, disappeared again.
“And about the homework returned yesterday. If you didn’t get it right, do corrections
quickly. You have to work out the questions you get wrong every day, otherwise it’ll pile
up.”
“If you don’t understand, bring them over and ask me or a classmate. When you’re done
correcting it, show it to me. I have to record these… don’t wait for me to come find you. If I
really come find you someday, you’re done for.”
The math teacher finished his spiel and looked down at the homework he was correcting
again.
The classroom was very quiet.
There were the small sounds of pages flipping, pencil cases knocking together, the sound of
correction tape, and the sound of students reading aloud in the other classes.
He Zhao rested one arm on the table, holding an exercise book in his hand. It was right
above Xie Yu’s face and blocked the light shining in from the window.
Xie Yu slept soundly and wasn’t aware in the slightest that someone was blocking the sun
for him.
“Ah, is there another deskmate as good as me in the world?” He Zhao’s arm was sore so he
switched to the other arm, murmuring as he did so, “…Even I’m touched by what I’m doing.”
Translation notes:
[1]‘I gave you a hard time’ in CN is ‘I gave you color (dye)’ – he’s saying He Zhao is
returning the teasing from earlier that day
Chapter 025 - Thrilling and joyous
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
He Zhao sunk into an emotional reverie and couldn’t extricate himself. He had moved
himself, but he hadn’t moved the math teacher.
The math teacher corrected about half the homework, then asked the class rep to retrieve
the set square from Class 5 so he could use it in class later. As he looked up he saw He Zhao
using his workbook to shield his deskmate from the sun.
He put down the red pen. He didn’t alert them directly; instead, he calmly watched them for
a while. Other students noticed something wasn’t right and followed his gaze.
“……”
This really was a scene full of love for a classmate.
So touching, it moved the sky and earth.
He Zhao considered switching the workbook for the textbook in order to provide more
shade. While he deliberated, a tiny piece of white chalk flew from the podium and hit his
head with perfect accuracy.
The chalk bounced off, landed on the ground, and leisurely rolled to a halt by the
wastepaper bin.
The math teacher wasn’t sure whether to be mad or to laugh. “The two of you in the last
row, do you think I don’t exist?”
On hearing this, He Zhao’s hand slipped. The exercise book fell and landed right on Xie Yu’s
face.
Xie Yu was jolted awake.
He had only just fallen asleep and his mind was still foggy so soon after being woken up. He
forgot that he was attending morning self-study. Without even opening his eyes, he cursed
at He Zhao, “Do you want to die?”
Another piece of chalk came flying in their direction.
Wu Zheng had taught for nearly ten years and his chalk-throwing skills were honed to
perfection. Students who shirked class or fell asleep were all awakened this way.
Every throw was perfectly accurate.
The effect was prominent, and it saved him time in class.
Xie Yu got hit twice before he figured out what was going on.
He Zhao dodged as he said, “Mr. Wu, I think we should all calm down…”
Calm down, my ass. Wu Zheng nearly cursed out loud but he tamped it down through sheer
will. He didn’t intend to keep talking nonsense with them and pointed at the doorway. “Get
out. You both get out and calm down. You want to calm down, right? Calm down nice and
good.”
It was early in the morning, and Xie Yu hadn’t gotten enough sleep. He and He Zhao leaned
against the window outside Class 2.3.
The first class period was also math. Wu Zheng’s temper was slow to cool and he made
them wait until the class bell rang before they could return to their seats when the class
bell rang. So, in between self-study and first period, they stood by the doorway like
bellhops.
In the corridor, people came and went.
“While I can still control myself,” Xie Yu said, “You’d better explain this.”
He Zhao: “I’m afraid that if I say it you’ll be too moved.”
Xie Yu really wasn’t in a good mood. Since a young age, the philosophy he had cultivated
was to avoid talking to idiots, and to just grab them and beat them up instead. He endured,
then endured some more, then decided to give He Zhao one last chance. “Are you
explaining or not?”
He Zhao hadn’t even the chance to speak before Wan Da stuck his head out the window and
tilted it. He said, “What a touching story with a tragic ending. Very impressive, Zhao-ge. You
even blocked the sun for Yu-ge, but in the end, this poignant gesture touched only you
alone.”
He Zhao: “Da Da, how can you say that? You can’t say that.”
Wan Da: “No—look at Yu-ge’s expression. I think Yu-ge really wants to take your head off
and use it as a soccer ball right now.”
He Zhao confidently said, “Not possible. Although my deskmate seems heartless, I believe
he’s really very kind.”
Xie Yu understood the gist of what happened via Wan Da’s rambling. He exhaled slowly,
rolled up his sleeves to reveal half his forearms, then grabbed He Zhao’s collar and dragged
him towards the toilets.
“What are you doing?” He Zhao was rather cooperative and followed Xie Yu some of the
way. “Asking big bro on a date to the bathroom?”
“Finding a different place to beat you up.”
Wan Da was overcome with joy. He leaned against the window and laughed out loud for a
long time.
Shen Jie was walking toward them from the far end of the corridor. He felt in his pocket for
a cigarette, preparing to hide in the bathroom for a smoke. He stopped as he passed Class
2.3 out of habit to say hi to his Zhao-ge. Glancing in, he saw that He Zhao’s seat was empty.
He leaned close to Wan Da and asked, “What are you laughing about? Where is Zhao-ge?”
Wan Da explained the situation to Shen Jie, whose desire for a smoke had vanished. “Damn
it, I’m going over there to watch.”
Xie Yu had said he was going to beat He Zhao up, but he was just posturing and didn’t really
show his skills.
They turned back before they even reached the bathroom door.
“All right, all right, I surrender.” He Zhao threw an arm around Xie Yu from behind, pushing
him ahead. He cajoled, as if he were speaking to a child, “Let’s not fuss any more.”
Xie Yu wasn’t really angry.
When Wan Da had said, “block the sun,” Xie Yu had been stunned for several seconds.
Then something strange had happened in his head. A strange feeling had emerged, and he
grew more and more frustrated the more he thought about it. He became so frustrated that
only one simple solution remained in his mind.
…Beat the person who caused it.
Shen Jie grew more worried the more he looked. “What the hell are they doing?”
He Zhao didn’t resort to violence easily, but his skills were still very good. Shen Jie had
initially thought he would get to witness a showdown between the ‘big bro of the year’ and
the ‘old big bro,’ something with a coolness factor so high it emitted its own special aura.
Wan Da, in recent days, had accepted that these two had a bromance so strong it shut out
any other friends, and now he spat out another word: “…Flirting?!”
Shen Jie: “……”
There were eight class periods today and all of them were going over their respective
chapter tests, solidifying the class content that had been taught over the last month in
preparation for the monthly tests, which would begin next Monday.
Extremely boring.
He Zhao lowered his head to look at his phone. When both it and his power bank ran out of
power, he took a break and folded origami.
After he folded one, he tossed it on Xie Yu’s desk.
He made a lot of things: roses, little jumping frogs, and everything else he could think of.
“My side of the desk isn’t a rubbish dump,” Xie Yu reminded him.
He Zhao didn’t say anything and continued to fold paper with his head bowed.
Xie Yu swept all the origami he threw over to the side.
He had to pretend he wasn’t listening, while simultaneously dividing his attention between
his phone game and the long problem question the teacher was explaining. He had no
attention to waste on He Zhao.
He Zhao was also very attentively folding origami. He held a piece of paper about the size of
a post-it between his fingers, folding it back and forth.
Compared to the things he folded, his slender, fine-boned fingers were better eye candy.
“So with the rules we established just now, we can eliminate one of the answers. Do you
know which one?” Wu Zheng held a long ruler in his hand. Every time he touched it to the
board it made out a loud clack. “If you didn’t understand it, then just give up. This question
is beyond what’s covered in the syllabus, so you actually don’t have to do it…”
None of the students were speaking. This type of complicated question, which required
comparatively more effort than the results it produced, wasn’t interesting.
Only Xue Xisheng raised his hand. “Teacher, which one do we eliminate? I still don’t really
get it.”
“Come to the office after class and I’ll explain it,” Wu Zheng explained. “That’s all for this
mock exam. Correct your answers, and class rep, collect the papers before the end of the
day.”
The class bell rang as Wu Zheng finished speaking.
“Hey.” He Zhao drew close to Xie Yu and spoke in his ear.
Xie Yu was looking down at his phone, deleting from his notes app one of the two answers
he had narrowed it down to. He deleted ‘negative one’ and kept ‘zero.’ “What do you want?”
The next period was gym. He Zhao was still injured and couldn’t play any sports yet, but
breathing in the fresh air at the basketball courts was still something he looked forward to.
It was better than staying in the classroom, anyway.
Xie Yu didn’t intend to go. He hadn’t slept well recently and was prepared to go back to the
dorm to sleep.
“You’re really not going?” He Zhao asked.
Xie Yu turned off his phone and reflexively concluded the conversation. “What business is it
of yours?”
“What’s the fun in staying in the dorm? Is there anyone as suave as your Zhao-ge to keep
you company?”
“……”
The instigator of the entire sequence of unfortunate events really still dared to speak.
The night he and He Zhao did the English paper, they had stayed up till two or three in the
morning.
When Xie Yu prepared to leave, He Zhao did everything he could think of to make him stay.
He even said he’d let Xie Yu take the bed and claimed he’d sleep on the floor. In the end, he
had still crept into the bed to sleep.
It was 4 a.m. by the time they went to bed. If not, with how light a sleeper Xie Yu typically
was, He Zhao wouldn’t have successfully crawled into the bed.
Wan Da and the others grabbed their gym clothes, waiting for He Zhao so they could go
downstairs together. “Zhao-ge, are you coming? I can’t hold back any longer. I think I’m in
top form today.”
He Zhao stood up, about to go to the basketball court. As he left, he bent and stuck his hand
in front of Xie Yu, a messily folded paper crane in his palm. “For you.”
Really ugly.
And loose and crumpled at that.
Xie Yu picked up the crooked-necked paper crane by the wing, and the crane came apart at
his touch. “…What the hell is this.”
Since it was falling apart, Xie Yu just took it apart and flattened it into a piece of paper. He
was about to shove it into He Zhao’s math book when he noticed the other side of the paper
had a very messy circle in black ink on it.
When He Zhao came back from gym class, his mood was worse than when he had left. He
stuck his hands in his pocket and strolled lazily into class.
Wan Da, on the other hand, was very excited. The moment he entered the room, he went to
the podium and said loudly, “Friends staying for evening self-study tonight, I have an
announcement to make. I just came up with an excellent idea for a thrilling and joyous
weekend!”
He Zhao returned to his seat, sat down, and didn’t say anything.
Wan Da felt like no one was listening to him and looked a little embarrassed. He turned to
look at the last row and pleaded for help: “Zhao-ge, won’t you applaud for me?”
Only now did He Zhao take his hands out and clap faintly a couple times. “Well said. Well
said.”
Something was off about He Zhao. Xie Yu tilted his head to the side and asked, “What are
you up to now?”
“That…” He Zhao didn’t want to say it.
“Ghost-hunting.”
“？”
He Zhao scratched his head. “Wan Da said he’d get everyone together on the weekend to go
ghost-hunting. For the ghost that’s been going up and down the dorm building and
knocking on doors.”
Wan Da had read a supernatural novel underneath his covers last night. The story followed
several students who went to an abandoned building and the ensuing adventures. The plot
was very exciting, the characters died one by one, and he couldn’t stop reading no matter
how hard he tried.
As he read, he came up with a daring idea.
The more he thought about it, the more thrilling he found it.
Xie Yu felt that these idiotic thoughts were certainly the sort Wan Da and the others would
come up with.
And Wan Da still said it would be both thrilling and joyous……
He Zhao was currently worrying. After a second, Xie Yu suddenly said, “Then, be quick.”
“Be quick to what?”
“Quickly read the Complete Guide to Exorcism again.”
“……”
Xie Yu thought about the book he had seen and couldn’t hold back his laughter. The
moment he started, he couldn’t stop. “Review a little. Maybe you’ll find a use for it.”
He Zhao: “…Fuck, are you really—”

Chapter 026 - A Man’s Quest

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
During evening self-study, Wan Da again mentioned his plan with great fanfare and a
mysterious air.
“What about it? Do you want to add some color to your bland weekend life? What on earth
is going on in the dormitory building? Aren’t any of you curious at all? Shouldn’t people,
being alive, rise to the challenge and confront the unknown? Come on, can someone answer
me? I feel like I’ve been left out in the cold.”
Xie Yu looked at the stragglers left in the classroom. Aside from himself, He Zhao, and Wan
Da, there were only two boys who didn’t talk a lot in class.
Throughout the spiel, Xue Xisheng hadn’t looked up at all, as if he hadn’t heard anything.
He was still wrestling with an especially difficult question. He was completely immersed
only in studying, and nothing around him could draw his concern.
The other boy was Ding Lianghua. When he answered questions, he sounded like a
mosquito. His personality was quiet and he seemed especially timid. Wan Da had heard
that Ding Linghua had a mild social disorder, but he didn’t know if the rumor was true.
Only Xu Qingqing responded to let him down gently. “Little bro Da, although big sis is very
interested… it’s pointless. It’s the boys’ dorm.”
Wan Da: “So what if it’s the boys’ dorm? As long as you’re willing, you can be my big bro
Qing anytime.”
“…” Xu Qingqing tossed an eraser at him. “Go and die.”
Wan Da felt that reality was too far from his ideal. The ghostbusting team he had
envisioned wasn’t like this.
He hadn’t the courage to bother Xue Xisheng so he could only go and bug Ding Lianghua.
He sat in front of Ding Lianghua and noticed Ding Lianghua shudder.
Wan Da scooted forward and Ding Lianghua dodged backward. “Bro, what do you think? I’ll
say again—this is a man’s quest.”
Ding Lianghua: “……”
Ding Lianghua wasn’t great at communicating with others, and after listening to him
hemming and hawing for a long time, Wan Da still wasn’t sure if he was going or not. It took
a lot of effort to hold this conversation.
Xie Yu was shooting the breeze with Zhou Dalei.
Dalei sent him a photo of a fat orange cat and a kitten. The little fellow was adorable, with a
coat of fine soft fur, and the two cats looked into the camera with identically tilted heads.
The background was Dalei’s home balcony.
Zhou Dalei: Didn’t see her for a few weeks and she went to give birth! He looks exactly like
Fatty. I’m calling him Tubby!
Xie Yu smiled and hit save.
The fat orange cat was the communal pet of Black Water Street, her origins a mystery.
She hadn’t been that fat when she first arrived. She had been skinny, her bones jutting out
in hills and valleys against her skin. She must have been a stray for a long time; she hid
when she saw anyone and no one knew where she usually slept.
Many dogs and cats passed through Black Water Street. Aunt Mei and Aunt Lei often
gathered their leftovers, including fish bones if there were any, put them into steel bowls
they didn’t often use, and left them by their doors.
Time passed, and the orange cat made her home in Black Water Street.
This orange cat had personality. She didn’t eat white rice. If she ate dinner at someone’s
house, she’d stay the night and catch mice for that household. She was very thorough about
catching them and even brought the mouse corpses to the doorway and arranged them in a
neat row.
Zhou Dalei: My mom’s put down blood money. She cooked a fish specially for her and said
that for the few weeks she wasn’t here, the house felt unclean… Aunt Wang from next door
cooked one too. One of them made steamed fish and the other made barbecue, like they’re
competing for who keeps Fatty tonight.
Xie Yu: You should reflect. Why is a cat’s life better than yours?
Zhou Dalei: ……
Wan Da hovered around Ding Lianghua for a long time. Maybe because he found Wan Da
annoying, Ding Lianghua finally nodded.
He Zhao was still thinking of escape routes. A dozen-odd excuses flashed through his mind
in minutes, and when he learned that Ding Lianghua was going to be there, he said, “That
guy? That guy who stutters when he has to say anything in class?”
Xie Yu didn’t have much of an impression of Ding Lianghua and didn’t say anything.
“Even he’s going.” He Zhao tossed aside his phone, kicked back in his chair, and felt his
fighting spirit suddenly rise.
Xie Yu thought: Don’t think so little of him. I think he might be stronger than you.
When Wan Da walked to the last row to invite the two big bros, He Zhao slapped the desk.
“A man’s quest! Whoever doesn’t go isn’t a man. No need to worry. Zhao-ge will protect
you.”
Wan Da: “Zhao-ge, from today on, you and me are blood brothers. So suave! Really a man
among men.”
Xie Yu immediately sneered.
The four arranged to meet that evening in He Zhao’s dorm room to wait for the knocking to
start after midnight.
Xie Yu lived close to He Zhao and wasn’t in a hurry. He planned to do another mock exam,
but after showering he received several calls from He Zhao loudly asking him to come over.
Xie Yu was still drying his hair, still dripping with water. “You’re so annoying.”
He Zhao said: “Come over quickly. Got a big treasure to show you.”
This person was really annoying.
Xie Yu slung his towel around his neck and crossed the corridor. He pushed open the door
and said, “What do you want?”
“Almost done.” He Zhao was writing something and didn’t even turn his head. His
movements were expansive. His handwriting was already bad and in combination with his
exaggerated gestures, it was completely illegible.
Xie Yu drew closer and saw a long strip of paper on the desk, on which was written
something curly and formless. In the center was a yin-yang symbol.
“……”
Xie Yu could guess what was happening. The hand drying his hair suddenly stilled. “This
is…”
“Complete Guide to Exorcism’s most powerful tactic. Ghost Seal,” He Zhao said.
Xie Yu’s hair was wet and he wore only a simple T-shirt. His hand was rubbing a towel over
his head. Looking at him, He Zhao mysteriously felt that Xie Yu’s eyes also seemed to be
veiled in pools of still water: shining, and quite soft, but cold.
Xie Yu looked at the Ghost Seal for a long time and said, “Ah, you’re really awesome.”
Wan Da was the third person to arrive. He had changed into pajamas with a Spongebob
Squarepants pattern. He carried a bag and held a flashlight in his hand.
“Zhao-ge, I’m here. Wah, Yu-ge, you’re here early.” Wan Da pushed open the door and
entered. “I brought a flashlight. If you have one, you should bring it, too. If the ghost is
powerful, it might knock out all the lights in the building.”
Xie Yu expressed his suspicion of this classic scene from a supernatural novel. “What makes
you think a flashlight won’t be affected?”
Wan Da: “……” In the moment, he wasn’t sure what to say.
It was still early. The three of them, bored, got together to play a fighting video game.
There was only one chair in the room, so the only other place to sit was the bed. Wan Da
didn’t dare touch He Zhao’s bed, so he turned his gaze to Xie Yu. “Yu-ge, do you want to get
up? I… I want to sit on the chair.”
Wan Da very quickly discovered how awful it was to play video games with these two.
Xie Yu seemed to have the ability to pick out an ace within three draws. He did as he
pleased and didn’t bother with his teammates at all. He Zhao ignored Wan Da, too. “I’ve got
something good here. Old Xie, come over! Where are you? Come and get it.”
“Zhao-ge, I, I’m your teammate too,” Wan Da said, wanting to cry. “Throw me a bone! I’m so
poor.”
Only then did He Zhao look at Wan Da and give his teammate some attention. But after he
looked at him, he said, “You’re too far away. Just do your best.”
Wan Da: “……”
Ding Lianghua only arrived when it was close to 11 o’clock.
“Thought you weren’t coming. Sit down.” He Zhao scooted over and patted the bed.
Ding Lianghua hadn’t interacted with He Zhao much, and now he stood in the doorway
helplessly. Reflexively, he glanced at Wan Da, who realized what was happening and
offered half his chair. “You want to sit on the chair, too? Come here.”
Ding Lianghua sat down carefully.
He Zhao couldn’t figure it out. “What’s wrong with the two of you?”
Xie Yu’s hair was more or less dry. He took the towel off and left it on He Zhao’s desk.
“Then let’s make our battle plan for tonight,” Wan Da said excitedly. “Come to think of it,
Yu-ge, you pleasantly surprised me. I thought you wouldn’t come…” After all, he was so
asocial.
“I’m here to see the show,” Xie Yu said.
12:30 a.m.
It was pitch black outside the window and the dorm building was surprisingly silent.
Over the weekend, more than half the building’s occupants had left. Even the sound of one’s
footsteps seemed to be louder than usual. Looking from one end of the corridor to the other
to see the seemingly endless stretch of doors, one might even get dizzy.
Wan Da slowed his breathing and took the lead. He pushed open the door and walked out.
Creak.
In this atmosphere, even the sound of the door opening seemed creepy.
He Zhao froze for a long moment, not moving.
“Let’s go, Zhao-ge, what are you doing?” Wan Da turned back and said.
Xie Yu was behind He Zhao, who was blocking the way, so Xie Yu couldn’t get out. He
tapped his shoulder: “Protect me… Zhao-ge. You’re a man among men.”
He Zhao: “……”
He Zhao was very competent tonight. Maybe it was the Ghost Seal that brought him
courage. After about half an hour of waiting, they grew bored and started chatting.
“Ding Hualiang, you…”
“His name is Ding Lianghua.”
“……”
“Sorry, I don’t really remember much about you.”
“……”
“But I’ll bet that Old Xie doesn’t even know your last name is Ding.”
With a smile, Wan Da asked Xie Yu whether he was only pretending to not know, giving him
a way out of the awkward situation He Zhao had put him in. Then the faint sound of
knocking came to his ear.
Everybody fell silent.
Just when Wan Da said, “Maybe we imagined it,” there was another thunk.
It sounded very far away.
Muted, like there was something in between them and the source of the noise. The sound
traveled through the empty corridor and up the stairwell.
“Tonight, it’s not knocking on the third floor,” Wan Da said with a tremor in his voice. “It’s…
it’s right below us.”
A long time from now, when Xie Yu reminisced about his high school life, he certainly
wouldn’t forget tonight. The subsequent series of idiotic happenings and the dumb ending
are secondary.
This giant idiot, who was so scared his hands were trembling, had stuffed the seal into his
neighbor’s hand regardless.
He Zhao took the Ghost Seal with its messy scribbles and stuffed it into Xie Yu’s hand. The
paper was already wrinkled and held lingering traces of the warmth from his hand. He
Zhao was currently staring nervously in the direction of the stairs, and had done everything
subconsciously. He patted Xie Yu’s head. “Don’t be afraid. Big bro will protect you.”
Xie Yu looked down at the piece of paper and was a little stunned.
Chapter 027 - The Monthly Exams
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The group walked carefully down the stairs.
Halfway down, Wan Da’s hand suddenly tightened on the railing. “Fuck it, there, there,
there really is…”
“There’s what?”
“What did you see?”
“—There’s a ghost.”
Xie Yu lifted his wrist and glanced at the time.
The minute hand was over the 12; it was exactly 1 a.m..
At the end of the corridor on the second floor, the audio sensor light hadn’t turned on.
There was a vaguely human shape slowly moving towards them, but its limbs couldn’t be
discerned.
‘Its’ footsteps were very light, like the scene was being played back in slow motion.
Only the moonlight and the streetlights that shone in from the window shed some faint
illumination onto this mysterious scene.
Xie Yu clenched his hand around the Ghost Seal. He suddenly wanted to comfort this giant
idiot next to him. He was about to say, “You don’t really fucking think that someone
wearing a bedspread and moving around is something supernatural, do you?”
But he saw He Zhao pull another piece of paper from his pocket; the sigils and yin-yang
symbol were nearly identical to the one in Xie Yu’s hand. He Zhao looked remarkably calm:
“Don’t worry. I have one more.”
“……”
“Now what?!” Wan Da asked.
He Zhao retorted, “You made so many battle plans. Didn’t you think of this scenario?”
Wan Da lowered his voice: “Actually, I didn’t think we’d really meet it…”
Xie Yu leaned against the wall and said, “…What else can we do? Shall we go up and say
hello?”
Wan Da was silent.
“Actually, I think that for a man’s quest we need to be braver.” Wan Da began speaking,
then his attitude made a 180 degree turn. “Shall we go back and…” And sleep.
Before he could finish speaking, Ding Lianghua, who had been silent the entire time, shot
out from beside them!
Ding Lianghua’s time for the 100m sprint must have been great. During the next sports
meet, they must get him to participate. He ran like a whirlwind. He even remembered to
grab the fire extinguisher standing in the corner as he passed it and brought it down on the
blob of something with a thunk.
Wan Da: “……”
He Zhao:“……”
Xie Yu:“……”
“What is going on?”
“Are your school dorm lives so exciting?”
“A rich nightlife, certainly.”
Monday morning, when Shen Jie set foot into the classroom, he hadn’t even put down his
schoolbag before he heard the strange rumors. He turned in his work, not even bothering
to revise, and ran straight to class 3.
He leaned in through the window and stuck his head in. “I heard Mad Dog almost exploded
from rage. What on earth did you do?”
The students were currently moving their desks around and the atmosphere was rowdy.
Xu Qingwing had finished moving her own desk and was helping the others alongside Liu
Cunhao: “Luo Wenqiang, you go behind Wan Da, and then your row should line up with this
side… there are 32 people taking the exams in our classroom. If there aren’t enough tables
and chairs, go borrow from the class next door.”
They had to pull their desks apart and arrange them into the examination regulation
format: single seats.
Later, when the bell rang, they’d have to go to their separate examination venues to take
the test: this was the first formal exam period of the first semester of year 2.
The monthly exams.
Wan Da attentively positioned the desks and chairs. He didn’t really want to answer Shen
Jie: “This… come to speak of it, it’s hard to explain in one sitting.”
Shen Jie: “Xiao Wan, are you really still the Know-It-All I first met, who gossips even when
passing notes and giving answers to me?”
“……”
Wan Da shook his head and said, “People grow up, don’t they?”
Shen Jie’s grades weren’t good. In his first year, there was one end-of-semester exam where
he really wanted to get a good grade so that he could go home and pass the New Year
happily without his family’s nagging. Before the exam invigilator came around, he’d
knocked on the shoulder of the person in front of him and said, “Friend, do you want to
have a good New Year?”
The guy in front just happened to be Wan Da.
The two hit it off instantly.
At first, they only passed answers. After two or three rounds, Shen Jie used his arm to
knock his eraser to the floor, then picked up the little note on the ground as he bent to pick
up the eraser. Aside from the answer, there was an additional line: You’re from Class 5? Do
you know He Zhao? I heard that he fought with a teacher a few days ago?
By the end, the note passing had become a huge gossip session.
They hadn’t copied that many answers, but the contents of their chats covered pretty much
the entire year’s students.
So Shen Jie turned his eyes towards He Zhao.
His eyes swept the room once and finally locked onto their target.
He Zhao and Xie Yu’s desks were divided rather awkwardly; they went to whichever row
still needed bodies.
He Zhao was in the last seat in the innermost row.
The lighting in the corner wasn’t very good. He Zhao’s back was to the wall, one hand in his
pocket; his whole manner was leisurely as he played with his phone.
“Zhao-ge—” Shen Jie raised a hand and shouted.
He Zhao heard his name and looked up. He took the plastic bag on the desk and tossed it in
the garbage as he walked over. “Exam’s about to start. What are you messing about for?”
Shen Jie: “Your dorm building…”
“I’ll summarize it in three words for you. A man’s quest,” He Zhao said.
Shen Jie wore an expression of total confusion.
Xie Yu was sitting right there, and he was currently lying on the desk, sleeping. He Zhao
patted the back of his head and said, “Right, Old Xie?”
Xie Yu: “……”
He didn’t even lift his head. He fumbled about to one side, grabbed something, and threw it.
It was a calculator. He Zhao feared it’d break if it hit the floor, so he took two steps
backward and caught it. “Little friend, your temper’s pretty hot today.”
Shen Jie didn’t want to ask any more.
He Zhao cut his thoughts off. “Tell you later. Scram back to your own classroom. The exam’s
about to start.”
Before, the exam seating charts had been computer-generated and the students couldn’t
tell who’d be taking the exam in the same classroom as them. This semester, they changed
the setup and arranged the seating chart according to the end-of-semester exam scores.
The top 30 were in one classroom, the next 30 in the second classroom, and so on.
Perhaps they were trying to divide the students into classes this way in order to arouse
their fighting spirit. One must always look ahead. Likewise, one must always strive towards
the higher examination venues.
Dean Jiang’s original words: “You must have ambition! To be ambitious while studying is
nothing to be ashamed of. For example, if I was taking the exam in division 5 today, the next
time, I want to be sitting in division 1 taking the exam! I hope that all of you will have that
kind of fighting spirit!”
Shen Jie very reluctantly left.
Wan Da cautiously came over. “The study rep isn’t coming to take the test?”
He Zhao: “He’s already like that… can he still take the test?”
“Heard his mom came to bring him home to sleep. Sleep deprivation. Every day he only
slept two or three hours. No wonder he had a breakdown.”
Hearing the two words ‘study rep,’ Xie Yu’s sleepiness fled, too. The sound of chairs being
dragged reverberated through the classroom, and it was very noisy. He sat up and glanced
toward Xue Xisheng’s seat.
That night, Ding Lianghua had rushed out with incomparable bravery. The fire extinguisher
had sprayed out dry powder, covering the entire corridor. When they dragged the blanket
off the ‘ghost,’ they saw Xue Xisheng lying quietly on the ground.
“Who would’ve thought it was sleepwalking,” Wan Da said. “This is the first time I met
someone who sleepwalks that far. If the school dorm didn’t lock its front doors, would he
wander outside the school with his eyes closed?”
The commotion they’d made in the middle of the night had disturbed Mad Dog and Old
Tang who lived in the faculty dormitory next door. The two had rushed over in a hurry, and
one of them hadn’t even pulled up the zipper on his pants. Old Tang even wore his slippers
on the wrong feet. “What’s happening? What’s all this noise in the middle of the night?
What on earth are you doing?”
The preparation bell for the exams rang, and everyone brought their examination materials
to their respective classrooms.
Xie Yu hadn’t brought anything but a black pen.
If he could, he wouldn’t even have brought the pen. He really didn’t know how else he
would surpass He Zhao. Even if he shut his eyes and did the questions blind he’d score
higher than this guy.
“We have to fill in scantrons, you need a 2B.” He Zhao was walking behind Xie Yu and
stuffed a pencil into his hand, even sharing his own experiences. “Even though it doesn’t
make a difference if you shade or not, you can at least get a few random points.”
“A few?”
“Seven or eight.”
“……”
Before, when Xie Yu took exams, he’d strictly control his answers to get an average grade.
Although he always maintained low grades, he wouldn’t make them too low, to avoid giving
the impression that he was an idiot.
He always scored within the range that let people think, “This kid’s mind is quite sharp, but
he refuses to study properly.”
Even Madam Gu thought that there was still hope for her child.
Even though her child skipped class and his scores were among the lowest in the exam, that
was all because he didn’t pay attention in class. If he studied seriously, he certainly
wouldn’t get the grades he did now.
Xie Yu took the green pencil. In order to calibrate his score a while from now, he asked He
Zhao, “What did you score at the end of last semester?”
They had walked past classrooms 1 through 8 and still had to climb a flight of stairs to get
to their exam venue, for the very last division. According to Dean Jiang’s exam seating
arrangement, this exam venue was the gathering place for students with bad grades.
He Zhao: “Last semester? Don’t really remember. I think it was pretty good. I performed
pretty well.”
Xie Yu: “Mm?”
He Zhao: “English I scored about… 40 marks?”
Xie Yu: “……”
The slackers’ gathering place only contained about 20 people, each of them a character who
posed a headache to their teachers. They really were something; with their own strength,
they managed to drag their whole class’s average down. One person’s score could more or
less determine their class’s placement in the year.
He Zhao walked in and several people waved to him: “Hi, Zhao-ge.”
He Zhao glanced around the room and noticed many people he knew. He stood in the
doorway, one hand stuck in his pocket, and looked like the big bro of the slackers. “Ah, long
time no see.”
Tang Sen was invigilating the slackers’ classroom. He faced the computer, adjusting the
watch on his wrist, and all the other teachers worried for him. “Old Tang, your class
average this time around probably won’t be good.” Mr. Tang had just transferred in, and if
he didn’t produce results…
“Ah?” Tang Sen was still concentrating on adjusting his watch. “No problem, I’m not
worried about that. Exam scores aren’t the measure of everything.”
Considering this way of splitting seating arrangements, there really was one significant
impact on these slackers—there was no one good to copy answers from.
Who they picked to copy answers from… it was six of one, half a dozen of the other.
But there was still a difference between ‘six of one’ and ‘half a dozen of the other.’
The first student in the first row—that is, the guy in the slackers’ exam hall who’d gotten
the highest score in last semester’s exams—had everyone’s eyes on him.
“I heard you scored a 60 in the math exam. Wow, you can get 60 marks out of 150.”
“What, a 60? Are you that good?”
This was probably the first time in this bad student’s life that he’d experienced anything
like this. He said with a little embarrassment: “That… no, not really.”
Xie Yu rested his forehead on his palm, his head lowered, trying not to listen to this group
of people talking.
This was really too…
Xie Yu’s thoughts made many complicated twists and turns and, for a moment, he couldn’t
find the right words to complain. Then he heard He Zhao, sitting behind him, also join the
hot air contest: “60 points, bro, that’s really strong, bro.”

Chapter 028 - Can’t accept it. High grades don’t suit me.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“My friend, what about language? What did you score?”
The guy with the best grades in the classroom scratched his head and said with
embarrassment, “About 80…”
Everyone in the slackers’ division seemed to have found their saving grace and rushed up
to him in a horde. Someone even shoved a cigarette into his breast pocket: “Big bro, a little
token of my regard. Please accept it and don’t stand on ceremony.”
“80 points for language! I’ve only seen it in my dreams. How does someone with grades
that good end up placed in this exam venue? You’re really a buried talent. An ace among
wastrels.”
“You’re really impressive. When I make eye contact later, throw me the answer.”
“Relax. I’ve walked the streets for a long time. Zero risk. I’ll swallow the paper before I let it
fall into the clutches of an invigilator.”
“……”
The boy, surrounded on all sides, was on cloud nine. He thought to himself that he must get
placed into this exam division again next time… the feeling of being a big bro was very nice.
He felt his whole body charge with energy!
No one had praised his failing grades like this before!
Xie Yu sat in his seat, twirling a pen, and waited for the invigilator to enter the classroom.
Three of his fingers were pressed around a black ink pen, twirling it negligently. Round and
round. His eyes slipped slightly closed; he was getting tired of waiting.
He Zhao tapped Xie Yu’s right shoulder with a pen. “Little friend, want the answers?”
The pen in Xie Yu’s hand fell to the table with a clatter. His hand, with its long and narrow
fingers and prominent joints, maintained its position without moving.
“You?” Xie Yu put one hand to his head and twisted his body to look back at He Zhao.
“Forget it.”
He Zhao knew that Xie Yu had misunderstood. He leaned back in his chair and held out one
hand with a smile, his index finger crooked. He lightly tapped Xie Yu’s forehead. “What are
you thinking? Not mine, of course. It’s that guy’s, the one who scored 60 in math and 80 in
language…”
It really was a light tap, barely touching Xie Yu’s forehead as it swiped across.
Xie Yu was viscerally repulsed by this contact.… Instead of ‘repulsed,’ perhaps ‘unused to’
might be a more suitable descriptor. He braced one hand against the desk and stood up,
body leaning forward, wanting very much to split He Zhao’s damn head open. “I told you
before. Don’t touch me.”
He Zhao sat in the very last row, but his seat was still some distance from the wall. He
moved back several paces, chair and all.
“Your temper’s pretty hot,” He Zhao said. “…All right, all right. I won’t fuss any more. Calm
down.”
Their quarrel had caused a stir, and others were glancing towards their corner, not sure
what they were doing. It didn’t quite look like they were fighting.
“What are those two doing?”
“I heard someone from Class 3 say that Xie Yu and Zhao-ge… the two of them are a little
bent.”
“Ah?”
“I didn’t really believe it at the time either…”
“Which person from Class 3, Know-It-All? What he says is maybe half true at best. Just take
it with a grain of salt.”
The bell rang again.
Dean Jiang’s voice came from the intercom: “Students, the exam starts in five minutes.
Please return to your designated exam room. The first exam will be language.”
Up to this point, the announcement had been very somber and delivered in a gentle tone,
probably intended to soothe the students’ exam anxieties. But Dean Jiang suddenly stopped
halfway and his tone changed. His voice suddenly got much louder: “Student, which class
are you from?! The exam is about to start and you’re still messing around here? Stop right
there! Get over here! You brat, stop running…”
“……”
The announcement cut off halfway. An alert student heard the sound of high heels clacking
in the corridor and warned everyone: “Shh. The invigilator is here.”
The noisy classroom quieted in an instant.
The word ‘quiet’ wasn’t in He Zhao’s vocabulary. He poked Xie Yu with the pen again: “I’ll
pass the answers to you later.”
Xie Yu calmly said, “No need.”
“Why not? 80 points for language.”
Xie Yu thought, Want the answers, my ass. I might accidentally score higher than you.
“Can’t accept it.” Xie Yu found a reasonable excuse. “High grades don’t suit me.”
The two invigilators were Tang Sen and Xu Xia.
What a coincidence: both of them had ties to Class 2.3.
Xu Xia was probably assigned to this classroom at the last minute. When she got to the
door, she even asked, “Is this the room?”
Old Tang replied, “It is.” He held a cup of herbal tea with medicinal properties, the same as
he always did. When he entered the classroom, he put down the cup, opened the sealed
package of examination booklets, and started to count them.
Xu Xia had brought a chair and a book. She glanced around the classroom. When she saw
He Zhao, her face froze into an unnatural expression for a second before she averted her
gaze.
“It’s Xu Xia.” Someone recognized her.
“Don’t know her. What’s she like? A strict invigilator?”
“She was the homeroom teacher for Class 3 before. Then she was transferred… Ask Zhao-
ge. He probably knows more.”
“Zhao-ge, Zhao-ge.”
Someone sitting close to Zhao-ge really dropped his voice and asked. After all, how strict
these two invigilators were was directly correlated to their fates. “Old Tang, I know him.
But this lady teacher, is she strict?”
He Zhao smiled and tossed his pen on the table. “She…”
He Zhao didn’t continue.
That guy rubbed his head, not understanding. But he did think He Zhao’s smile seemed a
little cold.
Regardless of whether the invigilators were strict or not, the requisite cheating still had to
be carried out.
This lot didn’t have respectable grades, but they all had a lot of courage and played for the
thrill of the game. When the time was right, they wouldn’t hesitate.
The action in this room really resembled that of a blockbuster movie.
“Half an hour left to the end of the exam. Use it well and answer the questions. If you
haven’t started on the essay, you need to manage your time better.”
Xu Xia made several rounds of the classroom, then stopped walking, sat down, and started
reading her book. Tang Sen held his cup and walked around the room. “Pay attention. In
school, we learn more than knowledge. More than doing questions, it’s more important to
learn how to live properly…”
As Tang Sen spoke, he turned around, and a balled-up piece of paper flew across the room
behind him.
“I hope none of you will cheat. Show your true ability. If you don’t know the answer, that’s
fine. It’s nothing to be ashamed of… as long as you work hard to learn it in future, that’s
fine…”
The wadded-up paper hit the corner of He Zhao’s desk perfectly.
No matter what subject He Zhao was studying, he followed his principle of ‘Give up and go
to the next question’—with the exception of language. With language, at least he
understood the question; he wasn’t illiterate, after all. So, during language exams, he always
completely filled the answer booklet to make up for his regrets of not being able to do
anything in his other subjects.
He finished the questions in front and started on the essay question. He wrote with
overflowing passion and his writing was so messy even the grid couldn’t contain it.
Seeing that Tang Sen was about to turn around again, He Zhao calmly reached out and took
the wad of paper.
Tang Sen did indeed turn around. He stared at He Zhao’s exam booklet for a long time with
a complicated expression, but didn’t say anything in the end. He held both hands together
behind his back and walked off, muttering as he went: “…basic requirement is legible
writing. These are the points you really shouldn’t lose. Please, pay attention to that.”
More than twenty people all shared the same set of answers. They had discussed it for a
long time and finally decided on a pipeline model of passing answers: the answers would
move from the front of the first vertical row to the end, and then from the end of the second
vertical row back to the front.
The classmate who passed the answer to He Zhao motioned to him to finish copying and
pass it along.
He Zhao leisurely made an ‘OK’ handsign to reassure him.
Xie Yu planned to score about 40 or 50 points in this language exam. He had left half the
booklet empty; for the questions he didn’t intend to get points for, he simply didn’t write
the answers in.
He Zhao’s incredible ability to blindly answer questions with his eyes wide open—he really
couldn’t do it.
In the language class before the exam, Old Tang had handed out two reading
comprehension mock exams to be collected at the end of class. Xie Yu had watched He Zhao
attentively answer the questions, but all his answers didn’t make sense. His answer sheet
had been passed around the class and became the laughingstock of Liu Cunhao and the
others who surrounded it and treated it as a big joke.
This time, the essay topic was ‘SilhouetteBackground.’
Xie Yu was doing his best to stray from the topic, and thinking about how to do it made his
head hurt. Now he heard He Zhao calling him softly from behind.
Then he felt something tap his back twice.
“Old Xie,” He Zhao whispered. “Hand. Underneath.”
“What?”
“The answers. Give me your hand.”
He Zhao held the wadded paper in one hand and leaned forward, his left hand under the
desk. Very subtle. If Xie Yu reached back, he’d be able to grab it.
Xie Yu calmly nudged his chair back. He held the edge of his desk with one hand and closed
the distance between them, lowering his voice: “I said, I don’t want it.”
“Even if you don’t want it, the guys in front are waiting.” He Zhao tapped the underside of
the desk with one finger and urged, “Their fates are in your hands. Do a good deed today.
Build your karma.”
The big fan suspended from the center of the ceiling creaked as it turned, covering the
sounds of their conversation. A breeze, slightly warm, swept in from the open window. It
was very quiet in the classroom and there were several extra exam booklets on the podium,
weighted down with a box of chalk. The corners of the pages lifted in the breeze, and the
booklets looked as if they’d fly away any second.
Xie Yu reluctantly lowered his arm and reached backwards, but after feeling around for a
while, he didn’t find anything.
“Where?”
“Under here.”
“Not there.”
“It’s there. Feel around a bit.”
Xie Yu wanted to discover his adversary’s secrets and as he felt around he asked, “Did you
copy them?”
“Me? I didn’t copy them.” As He Zhao spoke he remembered Xie Yu’s, “Can’t accept it,” and
continued, “…I thought about it, and I can’t accept it either.”
“……”
Xie Yu was frustrated beyond bearing. He leaned back another few degrees, thinking that if
he didn’t manage to get it this time, he’d just forget it. Leave the others to their fates; what
did he need to copy? If he didn’t know, he’d leave it blank… as he thought this, he caught He
Zhao’s fingertip.
Both of them froze.
The fan creaked as it turned.
The chalk box held only several stubs of chalk and it couldn’t hold the exam booklets on the
podium any longer. The wind swept them away and Xu Xia hurriedly closed her book to
pick them up.
Xie Yu didn’t let go. He Zhao didn’t retract his hand, either.
After several moments with both of them at a standstill, He Zhao moved his hand. He
crooked his index finger up slightly, in just the right position to touch Xie Yu’s palm.

Chapter 029 - “What am I like?”

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“Mr. Tang, turn off the fan,” Xu Xia said as she picked up the exam booklets. “…It’s too noisy.
The listening section of the English exam later will be affected.”
Tang Sen nodded and walked over to turn off the fan.
Xu Xia held the booklets in her hands. If she were to only lower her head slightly she would
be able to see the underside of He Zhao’s desk.
Seeing Xu Xia about to stand up, Xie Yu snatched his hand back like he’d been electrocuted.
He Zhao reacted more slowly. He watched Xie Yu look down and continue to answer
questions, then blinked and closed his hand, once again enfolding the wad of paper within
his fingers.
Xu Xia didn’t notice anything unusual.
After picking up the papers, she glanced around, then opened her book and kept reading.
Tang Sen noticed a student flipping through their book, trying to find the right word to fill
in the blank. He stopped by the student’s desk and, without saying a word, rapped the desk
in warning.
The fan slowed to a stop.
There were four people in front of Xie Yu and all of them were anxious. The answers hadn’t
reached them yet. If they weren’t passed on, they wouldn’t have time to copy them.
The one at the head of the row finally couldn’t help himself and turned back to ask the
student behind him, “…Where are the goods?”
The latter indicated he didn’t know and turned back, too. “Is it still with Zhao-ge? When will
it get here?”
“Don’t know.”
“Hurry him up. We can’t wait anymore. There’s no more time.”
“……”
The fourth student in line was tasked with a heavy responsibility, but he didn’t have the
courage ask. Xie Yu’s legend circulated the school to this day. He suggested: “Maybe… we
should show our true abilities…”
With the reality of having to rely on their own abilities sinking in, the four brothers-in-arms
no longer expected to receive the answers. He Zhao, on the other hand, remained loyal. He
waited several minutes, then poked Xie Yu’s back again. “The answers. Quick.”
Xie Yu bestowed upon him a single word: “Scram.”
“So cold,” He Zhao said. “Look up and take a look. Those four buddies. Look at their
despondent and sorrowful backs. Don’t you feel a pang of conscience? Do you really not
have any other thoughts in your heart?”
Xie Yu: “None of my business.”
He Zhao: “……”
“Ten minutes left. Use it well.” Tang Sen glanced at his watch and reminded everyone, “If
you haven’t finished your essay, watch your time. You should be starting to write the
conclusion now.”
As Tang Sen spoke, he turned and walked toward the podium.
During this window of time, Xie Yu didn’t turn back. He reached behind him; he didn’t
fumble under the desk like He Zhao had. He openly placed his hand against the edge of He
Zhao’s desk and said impatiently, “Answers.”
He Zhao froze for a second before recovering and dropping the wadded up paper ball into
Xie Yu’s hand.
Once Xie Yu had the paper wad in hand, he tossed it towards the desks in front. It didn’t
swerve or stray, and landed perfectly on the fourth classmate’s desk.
When He Zhao came to, he suddenly wanted to laugh.
He looked down. He’d long since finished his paper, so he rested his forearms on his essay.
His hand covered his eyes, giving him a lazy look, and he internally said, This little friend
only says ‘none of my business’… it’s rather cute.
Ten minutes later, the bell rang.
There were two exams in the morning; the second exam was an English exam. Nobody in
this exam group was in a hurry to get their books and review. Aside from those who left to
go to the washroom, everyone else handed in their papers and then waited in the
classroom.
When the two invigilators finished collecting the papers and arranged them in order of
exam number, the students stood in the doorway and waved to the both of them, shouting
in unison: “Friend, friend, goodbye!”
The classroom descended into chaos, and someone who brought playing cards even started
a game of Dou Dizhu.
“Coming, Zhao-ge?” the boy with the playing cards asked as he distributed the cards.
He Zhao stood up and waved his hand. “Not coming. You guys play.”
Xie Yu was still counting his marks, adding and subtracting on a piece of paper.
He Zhao walked to Xie Yu’s side and bent down to take a look. Before he could make
anything out, Xie Yu flipped the scratch paper over with a bang.
“What’re you writing? So petty.” He Zhao wasn’t all that concerned. He changed the subject,
asking casually, “Going to the toilet?”
Xie Yu couldn’t quite understand the mentality of group toilet visits. Were they unable to
pee if they went on their own? So much damn nonsense. He put his pen down and jeered,
“…What, do you need someone to hold it for you?”
“……”
Seeing his deskmate be so heartless, He Zhao touched his nose and went on his own.
He washed his hands and loitered outside for a while, saying hi to more than ten people on
the way back. The way he greeted everyone, it was like the whole year consisted of his
buddies.
“Zhao-ge.” Someone stuck their head out of a classroom to call him, leaning against the side
of the window. “Long time no see.”
He Zhao slowed his footsteps, turned, and glanced at the sign on the classroom door. He
leaned against the wall and responded. “Exam group 5? You’re pretty good, man. Your
grades improved quite a bit.”
“Not at all, not at all. You know my measure best. Your grades are only as high as your
courage. In the last exam, I just accidentally copied too much, that’s all.”
He pulled out a box of cigarettes as he spoke and made to pull one out to give.
“Zhongnanhai.¹ Want one?”
He’d only pulled the cigarette out halfway when he suddenly cursed and shoved the box
back.
Xu Xia walked past the window of classroom 7, high heels clacking.
After Xu Xia departed, he was about to take the box of cigarettes back out but He Zhao
waved his hand: “I’m not smoking.”
“Ah?”
He Zhao continued, “Quit.”
There were about ten minutes left until the start of the next exam.
He Zhao hadn’t returned to the classroom. He circled around to a deserted place near the
faculty office, found an empty stairwell and sat down on the steps. He pulled a lollipop with
an orange wrapper from his pocket, tore off the wrapping, and stuffed the candy in his
mouth.
With the lollipop still in his mouth, He Zhao looked down and sent a text to Xie Yu.
It was a bad joke he’d read online. Bad and not funny. Even as he sent it he imagined what
Xie Yu would say: Dumb, thumbs down, scram.
Before he’d sent it, the sound of footsteps approached. The clack clack of high heels.
He Zhao didn’t look up, but the person walking by stopped.
“He Zhao, what’s the matter with you?!” Xu Xia stood in the stairwell holding the exam
booklets.
Since the incident with Yang Wenyuan, she’d held a grudge against He Zhao. In Xu Xia’s
heart, Yang Wenyuan was an isolated incident of misjudgement of character. He Zhao’s
image hadn’t changed in her eyes—a wayward delinquent with many bad qualities.
All of her anger came rushing out at once. She said, “What kind of place do you think the
school is? Smoking in school? Just now in the corridor I shut one eye and didn’t reprimand
you, and don’t you have any self-awareness? Look at you.”
In the corridor, she had seen someone handing He Zhao a cigarette, and now, in the
stairwell, she saw him with something in his mouth. She hadn’t looked closely at all before
jumping to the worst conclusion.
Xu Xia hadn’t finished speaking when He Zhao suddenly smiled.
The youth stood up, one hand pressed against the wall. He was tall and thin and pleasing to
the eye. His uniform hung loosely on him, and through the movement and creases of his
clothes, one could make out the line of his waist.
“I should be self-aware?” He Zhao was two heads taller than Xu Xia. He had originally had
his back to her, and now he walked down a step and turned to face her. He said, “…I look
like what?”
In He Zhao’s mouth, the lollipop was so sweet it was cloying, but the words he spoke
weren’t nearly as nice. “Miss Xu, are your eyes rotten?”
Seeing that it was a lollipop, Xu Xia didn’t say anything more. She tried to avoid He Zhao
and walked two steps forward, intending to go downstairs.
He Zhao blocked her way. “You’re in a hurry and I’m in a hurry. How about it. Apologize.”
“Apologize,” He Zhao said again. “And for last time, too. Apologize twice and then go.”
Xu Xia looked down on He Zhao in her heart. Of course she wouldn’t demean herself like
that.
He Zhao smiled and said, “Is it so difficult? Teachers are supposed to lead by example. You
did something wrong, and said something wrong. Can’t you even say the words, I’m sorry?”
Xu Xia stood on the spot silently.
Over the intercom, Dean Jiang again enthusiastically broadcast the announcements for the
next exam. “Teachers, please check the settings for the listening comprehension section.
We will play an English passage, so adjust the volume…”
Though He Zhao was smiling, there was disdain in his eyes. He emanated an aura that was
both sharp and dangerous, as if all the energy he usually kept wrapped up in himself was
now let loose, enveloping him.
Xu Xia felt a strong sense of pressure.
Just when she thought He Zhao was about to explode, the youth suddenly took two steps to
the side and leaned against the wall, clearing the way for her.
He Zhao crunched the sweet in his mouth until only the stick was left.
Xu Xia froze for several seconds and walked past him. She walked down one flight of stairs
and as she turned, He Zhao called out to her again: “Because my grades are bad?”
In the bend in the stairwell, Xu Xia angled her chin. From her vantage point she couldn’t see
He Zhao’s expression.
He Zhao gripped the white plastic stick and said, “Because my grades are bad I’m, in your
words… like what?”
Xu Xia suddenly felt like an invisible pair of hands had caught hold of her neck. She wanted
to say something, but couldn’t speak.
The English exam was invigilated by Tang Sen and the history teacher from the class next
door.
He Zhao was ten minutes late.
When he walked in, the whole class could tell something was off. Tang Sen was about to
catch hold of him and ask him why he was late to the exam, but He Zhao didn’t make ‘I
helped an old granny cross the road,’ excuses as he normally did. He stood in the doorway
and only said one thing: “I’m late, am I barred from the exam?”
The question thoroughly stunned Tang Sen. “Ah… no, but next time…”
He Zhao walked straight past him to his seat.
“Fuck it, this…”
“He Zhao, he…”
“… What happened?”
“Exam booklets have been handed out. Turn to listening comprehension. It’s about to start,”
Tang Sen said as he looked in He Zhao’s direction. He went over a second time an
erroneous question he’d explained while He Zhao hadn’t been around. “Reading passage A,
question 3, has two duplicate choices. Amend choice c to the one on the board.”
Xie Yu scooted back a little. “What’s gotten into you?”
He Zhao was aware that he’d come off badly just now; not only had he lost his temper, he’d
even been childish in revealing his feelings. After venting, he had recovered and was much
calmer. He scratched his head and said, “Nothing. Just a small matter.”
He raised his hand and said to Tang Sen, “Teacher, I’ll definitely watch out next time.”
The mood changed as quickly as a typhoon.
Tang Sen really couldn’t figure out this kid, either, so he just said, “All right, all right.”
By the time the exam was half over, He Zhao had finished writing. He was about to lie down
and sleep, but the moment he dropped his head against his hand and shut his eyes, he
heard two knocks from below.
He half-opened his eyes and didn’t move. “Little friend, what are you doing?”
Xie Yu tapped twice with his finger, making a clear sound. “Hand, underneath.”
He Zhao felt around underneath and felt a slip of paper.
He opened it up. There was only a question mark.
?
This was probably the highest form of concern from his cold deskmate.
He Zhao was good at counting his blessings.
He thought that if he picked up a pen right now, he’d be able to write a long essay on his
feelings at being shown concern by the ‘emotionless killer,’ and it’d fill a whole sheet of
paper. But when he picked up the pen, and the tip fell onto the paper and blotched it with
ink, he paused, and only wrote four words:
—What am I like?
Translation notes:
[1] Zhongnanhai: a cigarette brand

Chapter 030 – If I called you idiot would you answer?

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Shen Jie’s and Wan Da’s grades were evenly matched. They sat one in front of the other
again for this exam, only, this time, their positions were reversed.
The two sat down according to their examination numbers. Their gazes met and held for a
long while, then they smiled.
Shen Jie said, “Bro, you get it.”
Wan Da said, “I do get it. To a good partnership.”
After comparing their answers, the two started chatting up a storm via their cheat notes.
They didn’t finish their chat during the language exam, so they continued during the
English exam.
When we’re done here, wanna go get lunch?
Where should we go?
The cafeteria. Where else?
The cafeteria menu today is a little scary… invite Zhao-ge and the others along?
No choice, even if it’s bad. Of course! Invite everyone. We weather the storms together.
Jie-ge, speaking of which, how long have you known Zhao-ge?
They had had a nice chat about lunch, but now Wan Da began to change the subject. Shen
Jie opened the note, saw these words, and knew that Wan Da’s busybody heart was like the
weeds that wouldn’t die even after being swept by wildfire. When the spring wind blew, it
would sprout, again.
Shen Jie thought about it. He’d known He Zhao for close to three years.
When they met, dance games had been popular, and the streets were full of non-
mainstream fashion. Shen Jie was quite the good kid at home, but out of doors, he went
very wild and often went to internet cafes. He even had an online relationship with a girl
who talked with emojis.
These illegal internet cafes were mostly hidden away in little nooks behind winding paths.
After finding the sign, one needed to bend down, slip in, and push open a small door to find
the world of underage non-mainstream youth.
For three bucks,¹ they could enjoy an hour of time online.
Enjoyment was enjoyment, but this particular internet cafe was quite risky, and got
reported at the slightest provocation.
If the kids were unlucky and were caught by the police, their families would be notified to
pick them up—an even graver offense than failing an exam.
Shen Jie remembered their encounter to this day. After he paid, he collected his number tag
and wandered the entire hall looking for machine 6. Amidst the non-mainstream crowd
whose bangs covered their eyes, he discovered someone with his head pillowed on his
arms in front of a computer, sleeping.
A black and red sports jacket and very short hair. Near his ear, he’d very audaciously
shaved the letter ‘n’ into his hair. Several cigarette stubs lay in the ashtray next to his hand.
Just from the view of his back, Shen Jie felt that this person’s languid attitude was a little
overbearing, and found him irritating on sight.
Computer number 5.
Computer number 6 was right next to the cool handsome guy.
Shen Jie carefully sat down. He pressed the on switch and discovered the person was lying
on his mousepad. He tried to pull it out quietly, but ended up accidentally waking the guy.
The guy wore headphones that had already been on the verge of falling off. As he looked up,
they slid down and hung around his neck.
“……” Damn, what a pretty face…
Shen Jie was so shocked he jumped.
The cute guy didn’t speak. After waking up, he continued typing.
On the screen was the latest and hottest dance game. Even Shen Jie had grit his teeth,
bought QQ currency, and downloaded it.
To the students, a set of clothes radiating suaveness was the core of dignity while playing
the game. In the game, everyone acknowledged each other as brothers and sisters, but this
newcomer wearing an impossibly ugly amateur’s uniform might as well have picked the
name, ‘Don’t add me as a friend.’
It was a game requiring hand speed, but the guy still found time to open a can of cola one-
handed and drink it.
Shen Jie had heard of a big bro on the street who picked this sort of underage internet cafe
to collect protection fees from, but he’d never encountered him in person.
Until a guy wielding a stick kicked down the door and swaggered in.
In the height of summer, the guy wore a floral Hawaiian shirt. His beer gut was so big that
he couldn’t fasten the buttons over it, so the shirt was half undone. He looked intimidating
and his face was greasy.
Floral Shirt walked in, a cigarette in his mouth. He banged on the computer table with his
stick. “Things have been a little tight lately. You know what I mean… quickly.”
A little money would settle matters. Most people would think like that, but when it was
Shen Jie’s turn and he was about to hand it over, somebody held down his hand.
He Zhao stood up. He’d finished his cola, and squeezed the can in his hand; he exerted only
a little force and formed a deep indent in the can. “Collect what? What are you doing?”
The reminiscence stopped here. Shen Jie wrote on the paper: Zhao-ge is my idol.
In the last exam room.
For a long time, Xie Yu wasn’t sure how to answer. He wrote the words, You’re an idiot, on
the paper, then scribbled them away.
During the second half of the English exam, several students in the last row made a ruckus,
just short of tossing the answers at the invigilator’s head. Tang Sen shifted his chair to the
back of the room to observe the exam, right beside He Zhao.
Xie Yu folded up the note. In the end, he didn’t find a good chance to hand it over.
He Zhao didn’t wait. He lay down on the table and was sound asleep before long.
The bell rang, the papers were collected, and the environment became lively again.
He Zhao was sleeping soundly. While the papers were being collected, Xie Yu called him
several times. He didn’t react and even turned his head to bury his face in the crook of his
arm.
“……”
Xie Yu turned in the exam booklet for him. Before he handed it over, he glanced over the
answer sheet from start to finish, and found that He Zhao would probably score about 35
points.
While the papers were being collected, the people beside him took the chance to compare
several more answers. “This question, C? What about this one? Is it B?”
Xie Yu calmly changed several of his answers to the wrong ones.
The monthly exams covered just three subjects: language, math, and English.
In the afternoon, after the math exam was over, Class 2.3 had two periods of self-study
while the teachers graded the exams.
Liu Cunhao and the others intended to sneak out to the basketball courts to play ball. He
Zhao didn’t really want to stay in the classroom doing nothing, either. He got up and said,
“I’m going too. Let’s go.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “You only ever watch us play… your ankle still isn’t well?”
He Zhao said, “I’m too good. I worry I’ll wreck your confidence.”
Liu Cunhao said, “My ass.”
He Zhao continued, “Really. I’m afraid I’ll scar you.”
They chatted for a while and decided they did want to go to the basketball courts.
He Zhao had just walked out when he turned back. “Old Xie, coming?”
Xie Yu didn’t even look up. “So, go.”
“You said it.” He Zhao went straight over and tugged at his hand.
Xie Yu found it ridiculous. He’d rejected it so clearly—what did he mean, you said it?
He Zhao pulled apart the words ‘So, go’ and repeated them. “Sure, I’ll go.”²
Xie Yu: “……”
Dean Jiang stopped them on the way to the basketball court. This man, who was pushing
forty, opened the window to his office and stuck out his head. “You on the basketball court,
what are you doing? It’s class time. What are you doing? Class 2.3, right? Get your asses up
here.”
Dean Jiang’s loud voice carried very well.
Wan Da, carrying the ball, hopped from foot to foot. “Damn it, so unlucky? Doesn’t Mad Dog
have to grade exams? Isn’t he a math teacher?”
The few of them formed a row in front of the faculty office.
Dean Jiang asked, “Why don’t you explain yourselves?”
Luo Wenqang, as the gym rep, could not in good conscience remain silent now. He stepped
forward and said, “We were practicing basketball. Our class formed a basketball team…”
“Wait.” Dean Jiang got even more angry after hearing the reason. “There’s no tournament
going on. If there’s no tournament, what on earth are you all practicing for?!”
Luo Wenqiang couldn’t say anything more.
But He Zhao calmly replied, “Strength training?”
As a result, all of Class 2.3 watched the few of them, who had said they were going to the
basketball court to play ball, run laps around the quad under the hot sun.
Xu Qingqing’s desk was by the window. She stared for a long time and didn’t understand
what was going on. “…What are they doing?”
The others also indicated that they didn’t know. They guessed, “Warming up?”
Dean Jiang didn’t leave. He stood in a shady spot and counted laps for them. “Don’t you love
exercising and strength training? Run! Fifteen more laps… if you can’t finish them, don’t go
back to class.”
It was extremely hot out, and only when they were running did they catch a slight breeze.
Sweat flowed slowly from their foreheads.
“Fifteen laps. If you’re a man, you run fifteen laps,” He Zhao said as he ran. “Old Xie, can you
do it?”
Xie Yu ignored him.
He Zhao got more into it the more he ran and even ran ahead of Xie Yu. Then he turned and
started running backwards. He looked at Xie Yu and said, “Wanna make a bet? Who finishes
fifteen laps first.”
“Do you have nothing better to do?”
“Do you dare?”
“……”
Dean Jiang only said fifteen laps, but didn’t really put them on the spot. After watching
them run three laps, he left, which was tacit acknowledgement that they could go back to
class.
The quad had been exposed to the hot sun all day and the smell of asphalt was strong.
Dean Jiang had just left when Liu Cunhao and Wan Da helped each other over to the side.
“Let’s go, let’s go. This is killing me.”
Aside from the gym rep who was happily running, only He Zhao and Xie Yu were still doing
laps.
“Those two must be crazy…” Wan Da stood beside the flag podium and watched them chase
each other around, a little stunned. “Fifteen laps, really?”
Liu Cunhao was incredibly thirsty and assumed they didn’t know that Mad Dog had left. He
yelled to them twice, but they didn’t respond, so he left it alone, too. “They probably really
want to do strength training. Let’s go get water.”
Running, lap after lap, is quite addictive.
Drenched in sweat, footsteps unending. Letting your mind go blank. You can think of
nothing at all. If you want to vent, then run on viciously with all your strength.
Even if it’s tiring, so exhausting your breath comes quickly, so exhausting you taste blood in
your throat.
By the end, Xie Yu’s back was thoroughly soaked, the hem of his shirt catching in the wind.
There was only one thought left in his mind: sprint. Keep running. His body burned with it.
……
Thirteen.
Fourteen.
Fifteen rounds.
The two crossed the finish line at the same time.
He Zhao dashed forward a little further, then stopped.
He stood on the spot for a long time, then picked up the hem of his shirt and mopped at his
face. The line of his waist and his abdominal muscles were briefly exposed. Sweat rolled
down his neck, and he raised one hand after he had wiped his face like he wanted to high-
five Xie Yu, his voice unbearably hoarse. “Badass. You’re quite something.”
Xie Yu bent at the waist. Aside from his labored breathing, his ears were buzzing and he
couldn’t hear He Zhao’s voice clearly.
He Zhao was exhausted, too. He lay flat down on the quad and looked up at the wide and
edgeless sky.
For some reason—perhaps because his mind had fallen into a completely blank state just
now—after he had calmed down, something mysterious flashed before his eyes.
“…He Zhao, just focus on revising. The high school entrance exams are coming up and I
have a set of mock exams here. When you’re done, I’ll go over it with you. With your grades,
which high school in A City can’t you get into?”
He Zhao scratched his head; he didn’t want to keep thinking about it. He couldn’t hold back
a curse. “Fuck.”
Xie Yu rested for a while. He sat to the side, both hands supporting his weight against the
courtyard floor, and kicked He Zhao. “Hey.”
He Zhao answered after a pause, “What are you doing?”
Xie Yu said, “If I called you idiot, would you answer?”
He Zhao wasn’t sure why Xie Yu was suddenly bringing this up. “…You’re the idiot.”
“So.” Xie Yu followed him and lay down on the ground. After the vigorous exercise, both of
their voices were a little hoarse. They were very close together, and as Xie Yu breathed he
thought he smelled the detergent on He Zhao’s clothes, mixed with the scent of sweat.
“Don’t ask other people. Ask yourself.”

Translation notes:
[1]about 42 US$ cents
[2]The words for ‘So, go’ when said with a gap in between can be interpreted as ‘Sure, I’ll
go’

Chapter 031 - Grandpa? More like grandson.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
After Xie Yu finished speaking, He Zhao didn’t say anything for a long time.
Just as Xie Yu thought the conversation would end, He Zhao suddenly said, “As for me. I’m
damn suave.”
The two lay shoulder to shoulder on the quad, both their positions sloppy. They were so
tired they didn’t have energy to expend on worrying about appearances. He Zhao lay
spread-eagled and felt like his body temperature was several degrees higher than the
surface of the quad.
Xie Yu didn’t have the energy to mock him; he was quite impressed by He Zhao’s thick skin.
He moved his leg as if to kick him, but missed because He Zhao suddenly pulled himself into
a sitting position.
He Zhao continued, “Really. Have you seen anyone more suave than me? In this world of
people, to be able to meet someone like me…”
Xie Yu said, “You’re really something.”
He Zhao: “Even the pen spirit said there wasn’t anyone, no?”
Xie Yu remembered the evening self-study period when they’d summoned the pen spirit,
and suddenly wanted to laugh.
“Of course there is. Who says there isn’t?” Xie Yu suddenly thought of playing a joke. He
looked at He Zhao, then pointed at himself. “Your grandpa. Me.”
He Zhao: “Grandpa?”
Xie Yu answered, “Yes, grandson.”
“You, my ass. You’re taking advantage of me, aren’t you?”
After suddenly being diminished by two generations, He Zhao laughed and went for Xie
Yu’s collar, pretending to be fierce. He didn’t control his strength properly, and he didn’t
expect Xie Yu to just lie there and let him do what ever he wanted without retaliating.
He used too much force and pulled Xie Yu’s collar wide open.
Xie Yu’s complexion was pale and his skin was somewhat flushed after the run underneath
the hot sun. That tinge of pink peeked through from beneath his pale skin; he was sprightly
and slender, so beautiful it was alluring.
“Now who’s taking advantage of whom?” Xie Yu tapped He Zhao’s hand. “Let go.”
He Zhao let go, sat down, and stayed stunned for a while. Then he lay back down and forced
out, “You… you have a good figure.”
Xie Yu replied smoothly, “Thank you, you too.”
The tangled thoughts in He Zhao’s mind ground to a halt and He Zhao almost forgot what
he was annoyed about.
But he still felt hot; from his throat to his suddenly tight chest, there was a warmth he
couldn’t describe.
It burned, a little.
He Zhao wasn’t sure what he was thinking of, either. His mind froze and, as if possessed by
a ghost, he glanced down at his pants.
……
Xie Yu wasn’t aware that He Zhao’s thoughts, after taking several twists and turns, had run
very far away. He lay down and looked up at the sky for a while and shut his eyes when he
got sick of it.
The surroundings were quiet. He heard He Zhao’s breathing.
He also heard He Zhao’s heartbeat, overly fast, that still hadn’t slowed down.
A moment later, Xie Yu closed his eyes and asked, “Your heart is beating fast. Are you very
tired?”
He Zhao wiped his face and wasn’t sure how to reply. “Ah, yes… tired from running.”
Luo Wenqiang had run about ten rounds and collapsed on the ground roughly half the
courtyard away from them.
After resting, he went to the vending machine to get a drink, and picked up two more
bottles for his running-crazed classmates on the way. He cut through the courtyard to He
Zhao and Xie Yu. He squatted and passed them the drinks. “Wah, the two of you… fifteen
rounds? You really ran fifteen rounds?”
The drinks were ice-cold, emanating a chill.
Xie Yu said, “Thank you.”
He Zhao sat up and took the drink. He twisted open the cap, angled his head back, and
gulped more than half of it down. “Aren’t we impressive? Are you scared? He said fifteen
rounds, so fifteen rounds it is.”
“Impressive, impressive.” Luo Wenqiang now revealed his intentions in coming over.
“During the autumn sports meet, you two should run the long-distance event.”
He had changed the subject too quickly and He Zhao couldn’t react in time. “Ah?”
This was the first time someone had invited Xie Yu to participate in a team event. Long-
distance was fine, but Class 3’s gym rep really was overenthusiastic: if the sports meet went
ahead as planned, it was still more than a fortnight away and they hadn’t even been
informed what time it would happen.
But Luo Wenqiang shook his head and said, “Ah, life passes by in the snap of a finger.”
Xie Yu: “……”
He Zhao: “…..” Bro, you’re too enlightened for us.
After chatting for a while, they got up and went back to the classroom.
As they walked down the corridor they noticed several classes were in uproar. The calm
facade wasn’t sustainable and erupted into chaos.
“So noisy.” Passing by class 8, they noticed that Shen Jie and some others were singing
karaoke. He Zhao stuffed one finger in his ear in order to avoid the direct assault and said,
“Why is our classroom the only one with the blinds shut so tight? And so silent? Not our
usual style, at all.”
As He Zhao spoke, he pushed open Class 3’s back door.
A movie was currently playing on the big screen and it was about halfway through.
Class president Liu Cunhao had made the sacrifice of sitting beside the podium; the
moment there was any movement outside, he’d move the mouse and turn the movie off.
“You scared me.” Seeing who came through the door, Liu Cunhao pulled the movie up again.
“I wondered who it was. Come on, let’s keep watching. If you want to place bets, go to Wan
Da. No take-backs once you’ve bet.”
The blinds were shut so tightly there wasn’t a single crack for light to peek through. The
lights were all off, too. They’d really created the atmosphere of a mini-theater.
Xie Yu didn’t understand. “What are you doing?”
“We’re guessing who the murderer is.” Wan Da introduced the movie to them. “This is a
mystery-suspense. Fifty cents a bet. Placing a wager, sir?”
“No, no. This isn’t fair to me and Old Xie. We don’t even know what happened in the first
half.” He Zhao then gave praise: “But I have to admit, you have good business sense.”
The class celebration didn’t last even half an hour before Dean Jiang broke it up himself.
“All right! In the time it took me to mark the exam papers, you all tried to overturn the
sky?!”
Mad Dog grumbled all the way from class 8 to here. “Class 8 treats their classroom like a
KTV, and you all use it as a movie theatre. Very creative, all of you! Do you even know what
grades you got? How can you be so happy and excited?!”
He Zhao bent close to Xie Yu’s ear and said, “Either way, we’re about to die. Might as well
die happy.”
Dean Jiang pointed at the last row. “What are you talking about with your heads so close
together? Fifteen rounds wasn’t enough?”
He Zhao was about to say, “We weren’t talking,” when his good deskmate straight-up back-
stabbed him. Xie Yu repeated what He Zhao had said just now.
The whole class broke into laughter.
“If you have a death wish, then I’ll grant it for you.” Dean Jiang was furious beyond belief.
“He Zhao, you get out of class. Stand in the hallway.”
He Zhao was used to it, and scampered off with the ease of much practice.
Dean Jiang still seemed to have several mini-essay rants in him. After sending He Zhao
outside to await his punishment, he kept talking at class 3. Outside, He Zhao got tired of
standing and took several steps back toward the classroom. He leaned against the
doorframe of the back door and chatted with Xie Yu. “Little friend, you’re not very loyal.”
Xie Yu returned the courtesy: “You’re very annoying.”
“……As for the phenomenon of live-in students being late, we’ve thought of a method to
cure you.” Dean Jiang had talked all the way from classroom decorum to lateness. “Starting
tomorrow morning, all the students here will feel a new wake-up force.”
A wake-up force.
Right now, they were very much feeling the force of someone wanting to kill.
The next morning, a deafening broadcast rang through the dormitory building. The tune of
‘Loyalty to the Country’ exploded into everyone’s ears.
“When the fiery smoke rises I look at the vast land towards the north ， the roaring of the
dragons and neighing of the horses~”
“I am willing to station here and re-claim my land, The mighty China should be~”¹
Passion permeated the blustering song, so magnificent and ambitious it could reach the
clouds! It was enough to awaken hot-blooded patriotism within every man of this country!
The newly awakened sense of duty and passion for learning was set to boiling!
At six in the morning, the dormitory building erupted.
They climbed out of their beds, so hurried they didn’t even bother putting on their slippers.
They pulled open their doors and said in tacit synchrony, “Fuck!”
“What’s going on? What’s happening? It’s six in the morning, will you let us sleep?”
“Who the hell is playing music?!”
He Zhao pulled his blankets back up, preparing to endure through the length of the song.
Eventually, he succumbed to the headache brought on by this blaring broadcast and the
many-layered curses and complaints outside his door. He couldn’t take it any longer and
pushed himself up. “…What the hell.”
After a night’s sleep, the aftereffects of running 15 laps yesterday now all rushed forth. He
had injured his ankle not long ago and the stress of intensive long-distance running had
taken its toll.
He Zhao scratched at his hair, got out of bed, put on his slippers, and stumbled slowly to his
door. He pulled open his dorm room door and yelled, “So annoying. Loyalty to the Country?
Yeah, really.”
He Zhao’s voice wasn’t loud but it was distinctive. He always lifted his voice up at the end
and it always carried a note of casual teasing.
Someone saw him and stopped complaining. “Morning, Zhao-ge.”
He Zhao didn’t say anything, only waved to the person as he yawned. Then he stumbled
over to the door opposite his and stopped. With a ‘go through thick and thin together’
mentality he knocked on the door and called out to Xie Yu, “Old Xie, rise and shine, Old Xie…
He can even sleep through this?”
He Zhao’s hair was in disarray and he hadn’t straightened his clothes, either. After knocking
for a while with no response, even, ‘Loyalty to the Country’ had also stopped playing. He
was about to go back and catch up on sleep when the door in front of him opened with a
creak.
“Are you fucking done or not.” Xie Yu pulled the earplugs from his ears and leaned against
the doorframe, looking at him. “Out with it, quick.”
Heedless of whether Xie Yu welcomed him in or not, He Zhao shot by him and into the
room. “Looking for you so we can get breakfast.”
Xie Yu didn’t shut the door, only stood in the doorway looking at him. His eyes were clearly
yelling, ‘Get out.’
He Zhao just pretended he hadn’t seen anything.
Although the song had stopped broadcasting, Dean Jiang’s speech had only just started.
“Hello, hello? Can you hear this? Ah, good. Good morning, students! It’s said that all plans
are best started in the morning…”
He Zhao was straight-up shocked. “Damn it, he’s not done?”
Xie Yu lifted a hand and rubbed his temple.
This way, he wouldn’t be able to sleep even if he wanted to. He might as well shut the door
and go shower.
“That math exam from yesterday. Really. The math teachers were so touched they cried.”
Xie Yu was brushing his teeth; He Zhao stood in the doorway to the private bathroom,
leaned against the wall, and shot the breeze. “Just wait for him to praise me. I’ve never had
such a hot hand doing exams in my life. I knew every answer…”
Xie Yu finished brushing his teeth and got some water from the sink, splashing it on his
face.
Just as He Zhao said, “This time I’ll definitely pass,” Xie Yu finished wiping his face and
tossed the towel right on He Zhao’s face.
It would have been fine if he hadn’t mentioned it. Just thinking about the monthly exam
made Xie Yu annoyed. He thought: Like hell you’ll pass.
“What’s this.” He Zhao pulled the towel from his face. “Got up on the wrong side of bed?”
Xie Yu put his hand by the side of his zipper and pulled it down a little. It was clear what he
was about to do. “Close the door and get out of the way.”
“What’re you shy for? We’re all guys here.”
Although He Zhao said this on the surface, he still obligingly turned and walked towards
the desk.
Xie Yu unzipped his fly and ignored him.
Yesterday afternoon, during the math exam, Xie Yu had asked He Zhao how he had
answered in order to adjust his own answers accordingly.
The exam had been comprised mostly of the after-class assignment questions with some
small modifications, such as changing a 10 into a 20. Scoring too low would make him look
like an idiot.
When He Zhao had said he’d done pretty well, he had actually believed it.
After all, He Zhao wasn’t completely inattentive during class. Since the last time he had
provoked the math teacher, he hadn’t had a good time in math class; he couldn’t use his
phone, so he had to keep his eyes fixed on the blackboard.
Who knew if he’d actually understood. He ran his mouth all the time anyway: “So that’s it.
So simple. Do you get this question? I got it.”
Got it my… hammer.
When the papers were being collected, Xie Yu had glanced at He Zhao’s answers and
discovered that He Zhao had thoroughly betrayed his trust.
He Zhao walked around the room twice then sat on Xie Yu’s bed.
Xie Yu finished going to the toilet, then cleaned the whole bathroom on the way. After he
finished washing his hands, he saw that He Zhao—He Zhao who had so much free time to
come knocking on his door and who was yelling about eating breakfast—had lain down on
his bed and fallen asleep again.
The hem of He Zhao’s shirt had ridden up. He looked tall and skinny but he had everything
he ought to.
There were prominent lines of muscle where his waist met his abdomen, rising and falling
with his breathing. But teenage youthfulness diluted their striking effect some.
He Zhao’s face was half buried in the blanket.
Xie Yu twisted his wrists to exercise the joints. He wanted to punch someone.
The monthly exams were over. Regardless of how they did, everyone had gone back to the
state of relaxation they called ‘loving living life.’
The students filing through the school gates were occupied chatting about celebrities and
idols and yesterday night’s TV drama episode. Mad Dog was hot on the heels of the
morning bell and stood at the gates to catch latecomers.
The teachers at Erzhong graded assignments efficiently. In the evening, they took the
papers home and worked overtime to grade them, so they could give out grades the
following day.
Wan Da squatted outside the faculty office for an entire class period, head turned to one
side with his ear pressed against the door. When Tang Sen pulled open the door to throw
out his rubbish, he stood up suddenly, turned, and ran for the toilet to hide.
“Wait up.” Tang Sen wasn’t blind and he beckoned to Wan Da. “Come over here.”
When Tang Sen took the job, he had heard the other teachers say this student was fond of
listening around corners; today, he had witnessed it for himself. With a trash bag in his
hand he took several steps forward and asked, “What did you hear?”
Wan Da said, “Our class is the bottom of the barrel. The first and second in the year are
both in our class… first and second from last, that is. Class 2’s average is the highest and
someone scored full marks in math. Xu Qingqing did well in English… the literature teacher
from next door is getting married next month.”
Inside, Tang Sen had only glimpsed Wan Da’s head; who knew he’d actually heard this
much. “Your ears are pretty sharp. How many ears do you have, exactly? What else did you
hear?”
Wan Da: “That’s all. Report complete.”
Seeing that it was about time to start class, Tang Sen figured there wasn’t time to instruct
him, either. “If you have free time, read a book. Now, go to class. Right—tell He Zhao to
come by my office at noon.”
Wan Da hurriedly agreed.
Tang Sen took several more steps then turned around, paused, and said, “……Tell Xie Yu to
come, too.”
In the classroom.
He Zhao sat in his seat and kept playing the low-stakes pen-and-paper game that he and Xie
Yu hadn’t determined a winner for during last class period: 5 in a row. At the end of last
literature period they were at a 2:2 draw.
He Zhao was very good at logical thinking and thought very strategically. Every time Xie Yu
was about to link five stones together, He Zhao always managed to stick a foot in and break
the line. Considering He Zhao’s intelligence level, Xie Yu wasn’t sure if this was accidental.
Wan Da came back to class hot on the heels of the bell. “Zhao-ge, Yu-ge, Old Tang told the
two of you to go to his office at noon. The two of you… how do you get last in the year every
time?”
On hearing this, He Zhao knew that Wan Da had eavesdropped on the exam results. He put
down his pen and asked, “What position from last was I?”
Xie Yu had already guessed the outcome and didn’t even look up.
Exactly as expected, Wan Da said, “Last. And your math score was only ten points.”
He Zhao seemed to have sunk so deep into his dreams of passing, he couldn’t extricate
himself. When he heard the words ‘ten points’ he was a little surprised. “Just one step away
from single digits?”
Wan Da said: “Right?? Extraordinarily impressive. Dragged our whole class average down
two points.”
As Wan Da finished, he discovered that He Zhao seemed a little down. He asked, “What’s
the matter, Zhao-ge?”
“Ignore him. He hasn’t fully woken up,” Xie Yu said. “Still waiting for the math teacher to
praise him… Go back to sleep. Everything you want is in your dreams.”
Wan Da felt that, as of late, he’d more or less gotten to know Xie Yu, so he spoke directly:
“Yu-ge, you scored 20. About the same, just as bad.”
Xie Yu: “……You asking to get hit?”
He Zhao laughed out loud, getting louder all the time.
In the afternoon, Tang Sen quickly finished earing lunch, rushed back to his office, and
waited for the two students who occupied last place and second-to-last place to come to see
him.
He had written up several speech outlines, but in the end he decided to improvise.
“Mr. Tang, they’ve been like that since first year in high school.” Several other teachers in
the vicinity had watched Tang Sen spend a long time going over the monthly exam papers
for these two students, and they also heard that he had sent for them for an afternoon talk.
“Just teach them normally. They really will not listen, and there’s nothing you can do. I’m
not telling you to give up on them or anything, but these two… really, there’s no way. No
way.”
Tang Sen continued flipping through He Zhao and Xie Yu’s exam papers, and didn’t agree
with or refute the other teacher’s words. He didn’t think that he was doing a thankles job at
all. He said, “I am teaching normally—giving my best effort. I haven’t yet given my best
effort.”
More than ten minutes later, the two of them arrived and knocked in succession.
“Reporting in.”
Tang Sen closed the textbook in his hands. “Come in.”
It wasn’t hard to guess why Tang Sen had sent for them; doubtlessly, it was to chastise
them for their grades. In first year of high school, all the subject teachers had sent for them
in this way. It was just a chat, and after the chat things would still be the same as they were.
He Zhao had a relaxed air about him. He probably encountered such situations often.
“The two of you, sit.” Tang Sen put their exam papers on the desk. “I want to ask you both.
What do you find difficult about these topics? If you tell me, we can solve it together.”
In other words, ‘How on earth did you two get such bad grades?’
Xie Yu couldn’t give a reason. He knew the right answer, so he avoided it completely. He
was worried he’d shock Mr. Tang if he said it.
This time, it was He Zhao who replied smoothly, “Everything is difficult.”
“He Zhao, just a little while ago I praised you to your form teacher for doing all right in
math class.” As they spoke, the math teacher finished his lunch and walked in, toothpick
still in hand. “Why were your exam results like this?”
He Zhao didn’t answer.
Xie Yu answered on his deskmate’s behalf: “In class he thought he understood, too.”
This time, it was the math teacher who wasn’t sure how to reply. He shook his head and
returned to his seat. “You… the two of you are really something.”
Translation notes:
[1] Translated lyrics from wikipedia

Chapter 032 - A wild 800-word boast

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Six exam papers were placed on the desk. Xie Yu thought Old Tang was going to briefly go
over the monthly exam with them.
But Tang Sen asked instead, “You like to play video games?”
In order for the pretense to seem genuine, even though they didn’t really like them, they
had to nod.
Xie Yu: “Mm.”
He Zhao: “Yup. I like them a lot.”
“I gave it a try, too. That very popular game, He Zhao, that I heard you’ve been playing.”
Tang Sen didn’t mention the exam papers. He took out his phone. “I didn’t expect your taste
to be so… innocent and pure.”
“Innocent and pure?”
He wasn’t sure how Old Tang had come to the very strange conclusion of ‘innocent and
pure.’
While Old Tang was looking down at his phone, He Zhao nudged Xie Yu with his arm. “Is he
saying I’m childish?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.”
“Then how am I innocent and pure? A man like Old Tang probably likes to play chess, drink
tea, and birdwatch in his free time.” The more He Zhao thought, the more he wanted to
know what this was about. “He probably doesn’t play King of Guns or Planet Terror.”
As Tang Sen opened the game, he said, “It’s not that I think video games are bad. There are
two sides to everything. The good side is it lets people relax and have fun, while also
exercising one’s self-control…”
He Zhao ignored the rest and nodded in agreement. “Yes. I agree. You make a lot of sense.”
Xie Yu saw a very familiar pink flash across Tang Sen’s phone screen.
But he’d only glimpsed it. As Tang Sen got excited, he put his phone away and continued
talking. “This self-control and willpower is very strong. There are many temptations in the
world. For example…”
He Zhao got a little sleepy while listening and secretly stuck his hand in front of Xie Yu.
Xie Yu looked down. “What are you doing?”
“Pinch me,” He Zhao said. “I’m having trouble staying awake.”
Xie Yu had just touched the back of He Zhao’s hand and hadn’t yet had time to pinch when
Tang Sen changed the subject from self-control to studying, and then from studying to
games. Then Tang Sen slid his phone over and, after seeing the pink game interface, He
Zhao was suddenly wide awake. “……”
Tang Sen talked for another half an hour and the class bell rang before he let them go.
When He Zhao left, he forgot his manners and didn’t even say, “Goodbye, Mr. Tang.”
Xie Yu wanted to laugh very much but held it in.
He Zhao walked quickly. He took several steps then stopped again. Seeing Xie Yu, he
reminded him, “Don’t laugh. I’m this fucking close to exploding.”
The first afternoon class was history. When they returned, the history teacher was already
in the classroom.
“Quick, come in. Class has started. Why are you still dawdling?” the history teacher said,
opening a book. “The bell has rung, so quickly get to your seats and sit down.”
Just now in the faculty office, Tang Sen had shown them his score in the dressup game and
explained some of his thoughts on the game. At the end, he’d compared the game to
studying and hoped it would ignite some interest in them for studying.
“The game gives you a dressup theme every level and the player has to think about it…
Take a look at this reading comprehension question. Actually, doing questions is very
similar… Why not this skirt? Why is this answer wrong? You have to think about it and
solve the question.”
Xie Yu could understand Tang Sen’s intentions. He was trying to tell He Zhao, using this
method, that studying could also become an interesting and fun ‘game.’
But the way he delivered his message was really too shocking.
At the podium, the history teacher was starting a new chapter.
The more Xie Yu thought about it, the less he could stand it. He was about to lie down and
go to sleep, but then he put his face in one hand and his shoulders started shaking.
He Zhao’s mind was still entirely occupied by Tang Sen’s words, “this skirt or that skirt,”
and he turned, about to ask Xie Yu if Old Tang had gone mad, when he found Xie Yu holding
his face, laughing.
“……” He Zhao paused and then said, “If you’re a loyal bro, don’t mock me now.”
Xie Yu very clearly chose not to be a loyal bro.
He Zhao could only turn back. This little brat. No conscience. If He Zhao didn’t see, he
wouldn’t be troubled.
Several minutes later, He Zhao couldn’t help scooting closer and telling Little Mr. No-
Conscience: “Actually, I have one more question.”
“？”
“How is Old Tang’s level higher than mine? I’m a true blue Renminbi player…” He Zhao cut
himself off halfway. “Old Xie, you’re too much. Terrible. You’re still laughing?”
He Zhao really wanted to go to the toilet, squat, and smoke a cigarette, but all he could do
was pull out a piece of candy.
“I bet fifty cents. It’s definitely Wan Da, that grandson.”¹ He Zhao glanced over the people in
class. “Who would it be, if not him? Wind whistles through his mouth even when it’s
closed.”
Wan Da had inexplicably been saddled with blame and he didn’t even know it.
The monthly exams were quickly graded. The next morning, when students trickled
through the school doors, the class rankings were already up on the bulletin board. Names
densely covered the whole board, black ink on white paper.
The live-in students had not yet gotten accustomed to the wake-up bell of ‘Loyalty to the
Country’ and the radio station’s DJ Jiang’s twenty-minute speech every morning: “We must
fight hard! Bring forth all our effort and don’t let our future selves regret!”
Xie Yu was accustomed to being woken up. Outside his door, the hot-blooded live-in
students were doing their morning complaint exercises.
And He Zhao from the opposite dorm room had sent him a text. He had probably been
woken up, too. There was only one word in the text: Day.
Several minutes later, another text arrived.
Little friend, are you up?
No.
Me neither. I endured the twenty minutes and then went back to sleep.
You’re not going to morning classes?
First period is Old Tang’s class. Let me dawdle.
He Zhao didn’t go to first period, but his exam paper was passed around the class again.
“If we made Zhao-ge’s literature exams into a booklet, it would be a veritable fountain of
entertainment,” Liu Cunhao said. “I’ve never seen more impressive thought processes than
his. He even curses the question-maker… damn it.”
“Have you seen his essays? For the silhouette topic, he writes about his own silhouette. The
first sentence—I think my silhouette is especially suave. Then it becomes a wild 800-word
boast.”
“Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I’m going to die laughing. Yu-ge, have you seen it? Come over here
and look at it with us.”
Xie Yu had never realized as clearly as in this moment that in the short month since school
had begun, his life had undergone a big change.
Suddenly, there was much more noise.
These noises had tyrannically forced their way into his life, little by little.
Very noisy, and very annoying.
He Zhao timed his arrival well and slipped into the classroom right as as literature class
was letting out.
Xu Qingqing was distributing the English exam papers and she reminded him, “You haven’t
turned in your English homework.”
He Zhao had just gotten to the door. “What English homework?”
“Copy the vocabulary words from the next chapter, four times each.” When Xu Qingqing
finished explaining, she stuffed two English exam papers into He Zhao’s hands. “These are
yours and your deskmate’s. You scored 30, your deskmate 25.”
Though the two of them got very similar grades, most teachers preferred grading Xie Yu’s
exams compared to He Zhao’s. Xie Yu’s handwriting was nice, and they wouldn’t end up
staring at the exam for a long time without being able to figure out what was written on it.
He Zhao wasn’t concerned about his score and the questions he got wrong. He rolled the
two exam papers into a cylinder, walked over to Xie Yu, bent down, and knocked at the side
of his desk. “What are you looking at?”
Xie Yu didn’t even lift his head. “Your essay.”
He Zhao: “……”
“It’s been passed around all class period. It just got back from class 8,” Xie Yu said. “Right.
You have a new nickname. Silhouette Bro.”
Shen Jie had specially slipped out of class midway, using going to the toilet as an excuse.
He’d snuck over to class 3 and squatted outside, telling Wan Da to pass He Zhao’s exam
paper through the window. He said Class 8 was very interested in the 0-point essay.
It went all the way to class 8! He Zhao didn’t need to ask to know which bastard son of a
goat had done it. “What on earth? That sounds so bad. It doesn’t reflect my talent at all.”
He Zhao was explaining how the nickname should have been ‘Literary Genius’ or something
like that when Wan Da rushed through the door. Every time he went to the bathroom
during class time, he couldn’t keep himself from listening at the faculty office door and
bringing some half-true strange news back. “Big important news! Zhao-ge, this is very bad.”
He Zhao tossed the exam paper in his hand onto the table. He didn’t really take it to heart,
but he still played along. “What’s the matter? Don’t rush. Talk it through slowly.”
“Class rep took your exam paper to go see Old Tang. He said that, in order to pull up the
class average, he wants to counsel you two, one on one.” Wan Da expertly summarized
what he had heard at the faculty office. “He said he needs to bear the heavy responsibility of
study rep. Old Tang is still thinking about it.”
“He’s for real?”
The rumor that Xue Xisheng didn’t sleep and only studied had been dispelled several days
ago. One fire extinguisher from Ding Lianghua had shattered both the dorm ghost talk and
the panda rumors.
The study rep did like to study, but not to the point where he didn’t value his life. This was
his first time sleeping away from home. He wasn’t used to his new bed, so he had developed
insomnia and couldn’t sleep enough. Because his learning attitude was so proper, people
found him hard to get to know and didn’t realize what was happening.
When Xue Xisheng returned from the office, he didn’t say anything. It looked like Old Tang
hadn’t agreed.
Almost every morning class was spent going over the exam papers. There were two periods
of math back-to-back and after going over the paper the math teacher asked, “Do you all
understand?”
He Zhao joined in the fun: “Understood.”
The math teacher aimed the chalk he hadn’t put down and tossed it at the last row.
“Student, don’t think so highly of yourself that you think you understand.”
He Zhao had been much more attentive in class as of late, and he hadn’t spent much time
playing games. Old Tang’s lecture might have put a shadow in his heart.
But now that He Zhao wasn’t playing phone games any longer, he was especially annoying.
He had learned palm-reading from Wan Da and asked Xie Yu to hold out his hand, saying
he’d learned everything there was to know and that his reasons were very accurate.
Xie Yu endured all the way to evening self-study before he couldn’t hold it back any more.
“What about your stinking man? You’re not playing any more?”
He Zhao was stunned.
“Ah.” Who knew what sore point the words ‘stinking man’ had hit. He Zhao leaned back and
said, after a pause, “That… I’m not playing any more.”
Right up until the dismissal bell rang, He Zhao didn’t bother Xie Yu about palm-reading
again.
After evening self-study let out, they were walking down the road when He Zhao suddenly
said, “Can’t keep chasing that stinking man any more.”
Xie Yu didn’t quite understand these sudden words. “What?”
Even though the streetlights had come on, the surroundings were still dark.
“My sister changed her account password.” He Zhao took two steps forward and said
calmly, “…Actually, I stole the account credentials.”
Translation notes:
[1] ‘grandson’ is an insult
Chapter 033 - Why should my little friend smile for you?
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
He Zhao didn’t seem to mind talking about himself at all.
He seemed not to care that his family was separated and that his mother had brought his
sister out of the country. When they left, his sister had only been three years old. She hadn’t
even been able to talk properly and had followed behind him mumbling ‘gege.’¹
Their first year in C Country, He Xi had still cried and yelled for her brother. But children
forget quickly. As time went by, she grew up and went to school, and her brother became
like the doll she wouldn’t put down as a child because she loved it so much—it became
outdated and gradually retreated from center stage.
While explaining, He Zhao didn’t feel down. In fact, he felt fine. Thankfully, she had been
young and could forget many things in the blink of an eye.
And embrace her new life.
Xie Yu wasn’t sure what to say, so he didn’t say anything at all.
“…I’ll say it again. It’s really not that tragic. This isn’t some heartbreaking soap opera about
amnesia, she just isn’t close to me,” He Zhao said. “She’s pretty good at playing games.
Every time I log in, her equipment and level—even the stinking man she’s with—is
different. It’s quite impressive.”
He Zhao’s EQ was something special.
Xie Yu couldn’t tell whether to consider it high or low. All in all, he could probably be
considered a drama king who had made up his mind to do things he himself considered
emotionally moving.
For example, this matter—He Zhao’s little sister, far away in C Country, logged into a game
and discovered that the level she couldn’t pass had been passed and the male character she
had put a lot of effort into pursuing had run away.
This was yet another instance of He Zhao moving himself, moving heaven, and moving
earth, but not being able to move the other party.
Xie Yu said, “You’re impressed? Do you feel especially touched when you think about it?”
He Zhao squatted by the flowerbeds and laughed. “Don’t say that. Maybe a little bit.”
Xie Yu had never been curious about other people’s stories. He only felt that He Zhao was a
big idiot.
Maybe other people didn’t know, but Xie Yu knew everything. He had seen He Zhao play
this idiotic game with his own eyes; he played in class, he played after class, and sometimes
he sent Xie Yu screenshots in the middle of the night, asking him which of two pairs of
shoes to pick.
Xie Yu should have thought: What damn business is this of mine? But he seemed to be
possessed. Xie Yu wasn’t sure what he had been thinking either. He suddenly bent down,
and by the time he came back to his senses his hand was already resting on He Zhao’s head.
Both of them were a little stunned.
He Zhao’s hair was short and it pricked Xie Yu’s hand.
Of the options ‘push him down’ and ‘immediately take your hand away, turn, and go,’ Xie Yu
picked the latter. “I’m leaving.”
“Let’s go together.” He Zhao jumped down and followed, raising a hand to the top of his
head as he walked. “Was there something on my head? What are you walking so quickly
for?”
Xie Yu went back and took a shower. He didn’t even dry his hair. He squatted by his bed
and stuck an arm under it, pulling out the suitcase underneath.
Inside were study materials. Mock exams and the notes he took in class, a whole box full of
them. They usually lay quietly under his bed, under lock and key.
He thought that he could do some questions to calm down.
Xie Yu squatted by the luggage bag. He stared at it for several seconds, touching the cover
of the 5-3. Then he looked up and out the window. In the dark night sky hung several faint
stars. For some reason, he suddenly thought of He Zhao’s smile as he had squatted beneath
the streetlights. Very bright, like it could tear apart the night.
He Zhao looked like he led a carefree life.
Xie Yu wondered where He Zhao found so many things to be happy about. Two days ago he
had been so happy drinking soda that he got another bottle. He’d passed the bottlecap from
the back of the classroom to the front to show off to Liu Cunhao and the others. “Just touch
it… touch it! A day’s good luck starts from your big bro’s bottlecap.”
Xu Qingqing had been doing a mock exam and didn’t give him face. “What is this? You think
you’re a koi?”²
“How can you say that, Qing-jie? You’re fortunate Zhao-ge doesn’t hit girls. Hey, Zhao-ge,
I’m not like her. I’ll come support you.” Wan Da exaggerated as he spoke. “Ah, I’ve touched
it. I feel its power. Heavens, this mysterious power from a different and ancient time—
Zhao-ge, I’m a little thirsty. Can you give me this lucky bottlecap to keep?”
“Can’t.” He Zhao stuck out his hand to take it back. “I’m keeping it for my deskmate.”
But Xie Yu didn’t cherish it. When he walked into the classroom and saw the bottlecap, he
said: “If you want to toss out trash, do it yourself.”
At this point, Xie Yu suddenly realized that recently he’d been hearing the words ‘He Zhao’
more and more.
Even Zhou Dalei had found out he had a handsome devil for a deskmate. When the two
occasionally chatted on the phone, the conversation would suddenly come around to the
handsome devil.
Zhou Dalei had noticed something was amiss and asked, “You two are close? Boss Xie, I’ve
known you for so many years and this is the first time I’ve seen you make a friend. Why do I
feel like a proud old dad?”
When Xie Yu and Gu Xuelan had first come to Black Water Street, Dalei had still been the
boy king of Black Water Street. He was unbearably wild. He had watched the two of them,
whose manners and bearings were so different from the misfits in this area, step down
from the long-distance bus.
Although they had been on the road for more than forty hours and the travel had been
hard, the two of them were still on high alert. Especially the younger one—his eyes seemed
to conceal knives, so sharp they were. They seemed to be assessing everybody they landed
on.
Dalei was young and still immature, and he thought Xie Yu was a girl when he saw him. He
thought that this little girl was very pretty and had tossed a stone at her to show he liked
her. The second day, when his dad and mom went to work, the ice-cold ‘little girl’ came on a
revenge visit. His temper was unbearably hot, and he straight-up caught hold of Zhou Dalei,
pinned him to the ground, and started beating him up. “You dare throw stones at me? Do
you have any manners? Shall I teach you?”
Are we close? Xie Yu asked himself.
He and He Zhao… probably couldn’t be considered close.
Aside from the exciting monthly exams, the rest of the week passed uneventfully.
Only Xue Xisheng still refused to give up. Every day he came to see Xie Yu and He Zhao,
hoping the two of them would join his study group to study and strive hard together to pull
the class average up.
“43 points. That’s the distance between our average and Class 1’s.” Xue Xisheng wasn’t
afraid of these two well-known gangsters. Or should it be said that even though he knew
the gangsters would beat people up, he was willing to risk his life?
“As the study rep for our class, I cannot let this situation go on—Why don’t you like to
study? Studying is so interesting. If we don’t study, what meaning is there in life? Please,
believe me, and let’s give each other a chance.”
Xue Xisheng was like a Mad Dog, Jr. He Zhao wasn’t sure what to do about him and he
couldn’t really beat him up, either. “Friend, I think it’s best we spare each other.”
Xie Yu, on the other hand, was willing to be vicious, and even used the all-purpose ten-word
idiom, “It’s none of your business and none of my business.” But Xue Xisheng wasn’t
affected at all and only repeated his words. “43 points. That’s the distance between our
average and Class 1’s.”
With this one battle, Xue Xisheng made a name for himself, and Wan Da gave him the title
‘The man who stands at the top of Class 3’s food chain.’
“This is terrifying.” Seeing Wan Da’s reply text, Shen Jie looked up at the two gangsters who
seemed to have taken root in Class 8. “…No wonder you two have been coming here so
often recently. Big Bro Xie Yu, did you notice that our class is especially quiet lately?”
Xie Yu was sitting in a corner, looking down at his phone. He wasn’t sure how the
conversation had come around to him. “Me?”
He Zhao was quite well-known and, after the incident of Yang Wenyuan, he had gained
some positive repute in their class. Xie Yu was different; his intimidating image still
remained.
Shen Jie said, “Yes. I haven’t seen you smile before. Smile a little to show you’re friendly?
Everyone in class is trembling.”
Xie Yu looked up and saw that several people were indeed surreptitiously looking at him.
But the moment they saw him looking in their direction, they furtively looked down again.
Xie Yu was about to say, ‘then let them tremble,’ but He Zhao suddenly spoke up. “Why
should my little friend smile for you?”
Shen Jie’s brain suddenly short-circuited. “….Huh?”
Xie Yu’s hand stilled. The level he’d been playing had been going smoothly, but now that
he’d stopped controlling his avatar, the figure fell into a ditch and the more than 2km of
obstacles he’d passed already were now all in vain.
Shen Jie was very sure he hadn’t heard wrong. He was about to ask, “Zhao-ge, are you really
jealous?” but He Zhao often cracked jokes and he wasn’t sure how sincere this actually was.
He couldn’t let it go, but he also didn’t want to make things awkward, so he just laughed
dryly. “Ha ha. Look, the sun is shining. It must be very hot outside.”
After he finished speaking, he felt that things had gotten even more awkward… or, more
accurately, only he was embarrassed. The atmosphere around the two people beside him
seemed a little more subtle…
Eventually, Xie Yu stood up and did something very in line with his intimidating image. He
rolled up his sleeves, pointed at He Zhao, and said, “Come out.”
All of Class 8 trembled.
The class bell rang. Dean Jiang came looking for Old Tang and they walked out together.
From the faculty office door, they could already see the two boys together. “What are the
two of you doing? Hugging?”
Dean Jiang’s voice carried down the whole corridor, especially this very suggestive word
‘hugging.’ The students in the window seats of all the classes, 1 through 8, simultaneously
turned and looked out the window.
Xie Yu was still gripping He Zhao’s collar, and He Zhao’s hand lay lightly on Xie Yu’s waist.
Everyone: “……”
The last class on Friday was literature.
Tang Sen finished his lecture, closed his textbook, and gave a reminder. “That’s all the
homework for this weekend. Don’t go nuts playing now that it’s the weekend… Live-in
students, will you go home over the weekend? If you’re planning to stay in school, come
here and put your name down.”
Xie Yu had slept on his desk all through class. Unwilling to go up alone, He Zhao poked his
deskmate’s shoulder with a pen. “Are you going home for the weekend? Are you still mad?”
Xie Yu turned to him. “I held myself back from punching you. Don’t offer yourself up.”
He Zhao said, “You haven’t answered my question.”
“Yes, I’m going back,” Xie Yu said. “It’s my mom’s birthday. I have to go home this weekend.”
Translation notes:
[1] gege: older brother
[2] koi: a lucky fish

Chapter 034 - ^_^

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Gu Xuelan’s birthday was the day after tomorrow.
Xie Yu didn’t move back home, not because he couldn’t psychologically handle it, but
because he couldn’t bear to leave the suitcase of study materials under the bed.
When He Zhao heard, he made a noise of acknowledgement, then followed up with an
unthinking, “Happy birthday.”
“……”
He Zhao was clearly still about to say something like, “Stay healthy and may all things go
your way,” but he had only just begun when he was mercilessly cut off by the ‘killer.’
“All right, that’s enough, thank you.” Xie Yu made a closing motion with his fingers in He
Zhao’s direction. “Shut it.”
“That gesture really looks like an emoticon Shen Jie sent me.” He Zhao copied the motion,
then spread his fingers again. “Open it.”
Xie Yu: “…Open, your head.”
He Zhao straight up didn’t know what literature homework Tang Sen had assigned just
now.
He dithered in his seat a while longer, then tapped the shoulder of the classmate in front of
him and borrowed his notebook to copy the assignment.
The guy sitting in front didn’t quite understand. Everyone in class knew that He Zhao didn’t
do his homework, so he plucked up the courage to ask, “Are you going to do the
homework?”
He Zhao said as he copied, “Just in case. Maybe? We’ll see what fate decrees. Maybe the
homework from one class will look especially pleasing. When fate comes knocking, we can’t
stop it.”
This was probably the first time the guy had heard such a seemingly serious discussion of
‘one’s compatibility with homework,’ so he sighed and let it go.
He Zhao copied it out twice and returned the notebook to the guy, then put one set on Xie
Yu’s desk. “Take it. Maybe a miracle will happen.”
Xie Yu glanced down at the dogshit illegible handwriting and thought, I can’t even read this.
If a miracle happens, there really are supernatural forces in the world.
He stacked the papers together. There was no immediate place to toss it, so he stuffed it
into his pocket. Then he heard He Zhao ask, “When is your birthday?”
Xie Yu turned away; the sight of He Zhao vexed him, the hallway incident still a lingering
shadow. A row of windows, and a neat row of heads sticking out and looking at them,
expressions subtly stunned.
Wan Da had even covered his eyes, like it was an unbecoming sight.
He’d lived all this time and never had unflattering rumors passed around about him, but
after meeting He Zhao he discovered that this world really was vast.
“Students staying in school over the weekend, please follow the dorm rules strictly.” Tang
Sen found a chair and sat down. It looked like he was about to chat with them until school
let out. “We must believe in science. Last weekend’s incident, I almost forgot—Wan Da,
don’t look down—I really couldn’t tell that you had these thoughts.”
Settling the bill after the fact.
Their Mr. Tang had a very long memory.
Sometimes one believed he had really let it go. He’d wait until they had let down their
guard and felt that the incident had passed. When the winds and water were both calm and
the days passed peacefully, one would be grabbed by Mr. Tang for a lecture. “Ah, last month
you—”
“Will you die if you spit it out?” He Zhao turned to look at Xie Yu and bent down to be on the
same level as him. He reached out, thinking of touching his hair. “When’s your birthday?”
Xie Yu said, “Yeah, I’ll die.”
He Zhao didn’t keep pressing. Not even a few minutes later, the question turned from
birthdays to, “Which year were you born? You’re definitely smaller¹ than me.”
Xie Yu was currently very sensitive to the word ‘small,’ for instance, He Zhao’s use of ‘little
friend.’
So Xie Yu sat up, face dark, and retorted, “How am I small? Which fucking part of me is
small?”
So the two compared their birth years; He Zhao was older than him by two whole years.
“Call me big bro,” He Zhao said, smiling. “I said you were smaller and you didn’t believe
me.”
Xie Yu kept having the feeling that He Zhao was setting traps for him.
He Zhao put his legs up and leaned back. Under him, the front legs of his chair lifted off the
ground. His posture was languid, and his center of gravity was shifted backward so that he
looked unsteady.
He Zhao looked up and ahead, gaze passing through the backs of his classmates’ heads and
landing on the blackboard with several lines of neat writing. Tang Sen’s voice reciting the
lesson suddenly grew far away.
After a beat, Xie Yu heard He Zhao say lightly, “You had to be younger than me. I repeated
ninth grade.”
Xie Yu’s first reaction was: No wonder no one said he cheated, going to high school with
these grades.
Last year, Xie Yu’s cheating story had spread through the whole year but He Zhao hadn’t
encountered a peep at all.
So He Zhao had repeated the year.
That would explain it. A slacker whose grades sucked—repeating a year plus dogshit luck
—that’s how he’d touched the tail of high school.²
Xie Yu looked at He Zhao’s languid posture and twisted the pen in his hands, his fingers
spinning it in circles.
He Zhao’s 10-point math exam still lay on his desk. He had done his corrections, but he had
done them two lines at a time before zoning out for a little while, and on top of his sloppy
writing, the whole picture was messy.
Xie Yu was curious. “How many years did you repeat?”
He Zhao said, “One. What about it?”
Xie Yu said, “Nothing. I thought that the way you are you might have repeated three.”
He Zhao was irked by these words. “What do you mean, the way I am? Aren’t you the same?
Mr. Second-from-last, can you look at your own grades before talking?”
The dismissal bell rang as they were speaking.
Everyone cheered, and Wan Da stood on his chair and waved his exam paper. “We’re free!
We’re free, comrades!”
Tang Sen cut off mid-lecture, shook his head, stood up, and left one last line: “Student on
duty today, please clean the classroom before leaving.”
Xie Yu didn’t have many things to pack up and He Zhao was staying in school over the
weekend so he stayed in his chair and kept rocking. He even leaned back and waved: “Little
friend, bye-bye.”
Xie Yu didn’t reply. As he passed behind He Zhao, he kicked him, simple and clean. “Call me
that one more time and see what happens.”
He Zhao instantly lost his balance. Seeing he was about to fall backward, chair and all, he
fortunately reacted quickly and fell with the most suave posture possible. He flung out one
hand toward the ground to support his weight. “Fuck it.”
The chair fell alongside him, crashing into the floor with a loud bang.
Wan Da waved the exam paper for a while, then on impulse, folded it into a paper airplane,
put it to his mouth and blew on it. “—Go forth! Fly free, little bird.”
Liu Cunhao saw him, and folded up the math paper on the desk. “Da-da, I’ll show you an
even more formidable one.”
Tang Sen had only gotten to the door and the class was already in an uproar. He put both
hands behind his back, holding his medicinal herbal tea, and said thoughtfully, “Young
people really are hot-blooded.”
Xie Yu didn’t take anything with him. He was just going home to sleep for two nights before
coming back to school.
Gu Xuelan, on the other hand, was attentive. “Just bring a bag and your homework with you.
We have everything else at home.”
“Got it. I know what to do.” All Xie Yu had on him, aside from his phone and some money,
was the miracle assignment note he had forgotten to throw out.
After leaving the school gates and making sure there wasn’t a Zhong-family chauffeur
waiting in a luxury car at the gates, Xie Yu walked toward the bus station.
“It’s so hot but you refused to let anyone come get you and insisted on crowding with
people under the hot sun,” Gu Xuelan said. “Be careful on the road.”
Xie Yu made a noise of acknowledgement and hung up.
Xie Yu didn’t have many feelings on the subject of birthdays. In his recollections, there were
no birthday cakes, happy surprises, or scares. It wasn’t much of an event.
There had only been a bowl of piping hot noodles.
To save money, Madam Gu didn’t celebrate her own birthday, but every year on Xie Yu’s
birthday Madam Gu would cook him a bowl of noodles.
After eating it, he’d feel warm all over. He couldn’t say why, but he felt that it warmed him.
Zhong Jie, on the other hand, came back on weekends. In university, he either stayed in
school or accompanied Zhong Guofei to the office as an assistant. Very soon, he would take
over the company.
Xie Yu had been in the Zhong family for three years and hadn’t stirred up anything. He was
quiet, and everyone understood that he was a mediocre individual who could not be lifted
up. Zhong Jie disliked him, but was also secretly somewhat thrilled.
The moment Xie Yu stepped through the door, Zhong Jie asked in an odd way, “I heard you
did quite well on your exams this month?”
Xie Yu changed his shoes, one hand supporting his weight against the shoe rack. He looked
down so his expression couldn’t be made out. “That’s too much praise.”
Gu Xuelan walked out of the living room. She knew her son was coming back today and
Zhong Jie was there, too, so she had done the cooking herself and made many dishes. “Food
is ready. Quick, come over and eat.”
Zhong Jie sat on the sofa and sneered. Who knew what he was laughing about.
Maybe it was He Zhao’s influence, but Xie Yu found that his temper had gotten much better.
Under this situation of ‘you’re angry, but I’m not,’ this meal actually passed in peace.
And Zhong Jie found that Xie Yu had become much harder to antagonize. He had gone from
‘exploding at a touch, retaliating with cold words’ to ‘ignoring him and treating him like air.’
After the meal, Gu Xuelan took Xie Yu to make several plates of fruit for him to bring
upstairs for them to eat.
Xie Yu washed the fruits with her. The two of them crowded in the kitchen and the water
splashing on his hands was cold.
They didn’t talk much. A question here, an answer there, and then they sank into silence.
Xie Yu washed the last apple and handed it to Madam Gu.
“Bring this plate up to your Uncle Zhong,” Gu Xuelan said. “He’s been especially busy with
company matters for a few days. After coming back, he only eats a few mouthfuls before
going to the study.”
Zhong Jie was also in the study on the second floor. When Xie Yu got to the doorway, he
heard heated quarrelling inside—especially Zhong Guofei’s somewhat muffled helpless and
frustrated voice.
“I do everything for your sake, but what about you?! Can you spare a thought for me? Your
Aunt Gu spends her days with me and I’m very grateful to her.”
Then came Zhong Jie’s hoarse words: “Then what about my mother—?! Where has she
gone? In this household, what is she, and what am I?!”
This topic again. Who knew how it had come up again. Three years and it still went on.
Xie Yu thought their conversation noisy. He looked down, speared a small piece of apple
with a toothpick, and put it in his mouth. It tasted a little sour.
Gu Xuelan heard the sounds of quarrelling from upstairs. She didn’t even wait to wipe off
her hands before heading upstairs to mediate the fight.
“Don’t go.” Xie Yu stood in the doorway to the study, the plate of fruit in one hand, the other
holding Gu Xuelan’s arm. “Let them fight. Let them fight all they want.”
How could Gu Xuelan just leave it be? She hurriedly pushed open the door and went in.
It would be another night without peace.
Xie Yu stood under the showerhead, soaked to the skin. He closed his eyes and tried to
ignore the noise from outside.
He lifted a hand and wiped his face, then turned off the water, pulled open the shower door
and walked out. Water slid down his hair and over his back then landed on the tiled floor.
The refraction of light from the warm bulb overhead gave it a splash of color.
Before tossing his dirty clothes in the laundry hamper, Xie Yu went through his pockets for
anything he had forgotten out of habit. He touched a piece of paper folded into a square.
On it was He Zhao’s higgledy-piggledy scrawl, as if the pen nib was about to fly off. Words
he’d never be able to find in the wild.
Xie Yu looked at it for a long time and couldn’t make out a single word.
He flipped the piece of paper over and discovered a smiley face drawn on the back. The
curved mouth tailed off in an upward stroke and looked rather rascally.
Xie Yu looked a moment longer, then leaned against the wall beside the bathtub and smiled.
Translation notes:
[1] the word for ‘younger’ that He Zhao uses here is the same as the word for ‘smaller’.
[2] ‘touched the tail of high school’: slang for ‘gotten into high school’

Chapter 035 - Someone who’ll do your homework for you, got it?
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Xie Yu himself didn’t notice that the frustration and annoyance was disappearing from his
body little by little.
He folded the note up again. The trash can was just beside him; he hesitated for two
seconds but didn’t toss it.
There was something special about He Zhao.
His careless, casual attitude highlighted his colorful presence.
His grades were so bad it made people’s hair stand on end, and all the teachers got
headaches just looking at him and weren’t sure whether to laugh or cry. Even so, after class,
Wu Zheng would occasionally look for He Zhao to play soccer. “You, what did you say
during math class? Come to the courtyard at noon and I’ll teach you a lesson.”
This didn’t have anything to do with Xie Yu but he was implicated every time He Zhao was
reprimanded by name.
Wu Zheng then pointed at Xie Yu. “You come, too.”
So, at noon, after eating lunch, He Zhao dragged Xie Yu to the courtyard. Wan Da, Luo
Wenqiang, and the others also came to make up numbers.
Wu Zheng’s team was well-populated. Aside from Old Tang and the history teacher from
next door, even Dean Jiang was there.
Wu Zheng was talented at throwing chalk, but his soccer skills weren’t up to par. He sat in
the office every day and didn’t exercise, after all, and he was getting on in years, so his
physical skills couldn’t be compared to that of a young person.
“Let’s do this—in a bit, let’s play badly.” During half-time, He Zhao lowered his voice. “Let
Mad Dog and the others score a few more goals.”
Wan Da said, “Zhao-ge, that’s a tall order. Their skills really are terrible. I’m not like you.
This is too difficult of an act and I don’t think I can do it.”
He Zhao squatted and patted Wan Da’s head. “Difficult, my ass. I’ll teach you. When he’s
trying to score, do this… kneel down, got it? Then look very frustrated and punch the
ground to show your deep regret at making a mistake on the soccer field…”
Wan Da was a little stunned. “But that’s so exaggerated?”
“If you want to act, then do it yourself,” Xie Yu said as he squatted at the side, a bottle of
water in his hand. He capped it. “Don’t drag other people into it.”
“This needs everyone’s cooperation,” He Zhao said. “And you’re not other people. You’re my
deskmate.”
Before Xie Yu could reply, Luo Wenqiang was the first to stand up and refuse to cooperate.
“Playing fake ball goes severely against the spirit of P.E.! I won’t agree to this!”
He Zhao: “……”
Out of respect for Old Wu’s soccer experience, they let him off. Wan Da took a leaf from He
Zhao’s book and even did the fake fall. But Luo Wenqiang would rather die than play badly,
so He Zhao took the script for ‘Worst Teammate’ and did his best to suffocate Contestant
Luo Wenqiang’s performance.
Luo Wenqiang was in true pain. “Zhao-ge, what on earth are you doing? Which team are
you on? …Yu-ge, do something about him.”
Xie Yu: “Why me? It’s none of my business.”
Wu Zheng and the others had a great time playing ball. They were energized and
invigorated, and felt like they were 18 again.
They even made plans for the next game.
The noise in the study gradually grew fainter.
After listening to them fight for so long, Xie Yu had gotten the gist of it. In summary, Zhong
Guofei had accidentally knocked to the ground a fountain pen Zhong Jie had received from
his mother when he was young. The pen had broken and could no longer write.
And the problem which had remained unsolved for three years now exploded again.
Zhong Guofei thought that Zhong Jie was grown up now, so why was he still kicking up a
fuss?
“Both of you calm down. There’s no point keeping on like this.” Gu Xuelan followed them
out of the study.
Zhong Jie walked toward the door with the car keys in his hand. “Calm down? I’m very
calm.”
Zhong Guofei was also angry. When Zhong Jie had lost his temper, he’d said many terrible
things to him. But he still stood in the stairwell and said, “Come back. Where are you going?
Where are you going to live if not at home?”
Zhong Jie didn’t even look back. Clearly, he was going to become a good-for-nothing bar-
dweller who smelled of alcohol and loneliness.
There was no point in Xie Yu being at home. After meals he just went back to his room,
sometimes to play games with Dalei.
Like that message Wan Da had sent when he got home: Got home. Salted fish. Like I’m
drunk and dreaming.¹
“Don’t go over there! Help me out, will you?” Zhou Dalei was familiar with Xie Yu’s piss-
poor attitude to online gaming. He’d never met a gamer more suited to solo play than Xie
Yu. But knowing was one thing; after so many years, he still hadn’t gotten accustomed to it.
“Boss Xie, do you see that I’m about to die? It’s not you getting hit, so you don’t feel the
pain, do you? Ah, fuck, game over, game over.”
Xie Yu was unmoved. “You’re terrible at this.”
“……”
“I’m terrible at this?” Zhou Dalei said in a joking voice. “Who am I doing all this for? Who
else would tolerate a teammate who’s more cruel than an enemy, huh?!
Xie Yu played two rounds, glanced at the time, and said, “You go on. I’m going offline.”
Zhou Dalei felt like he’d forgotten something. Only when Xie Yu said he was going offline
did he hit his forehead and remember. “It’s Aunt Lan’s birthday today, isn’t it?”
“I almost forgot. Give my well-wishes to Aunt Lan for me—say I hope she gets more and
more beautiful and that all things go as she wishes,” Dalei said, then complained, “Why
didn’t you remind me?”
The guests downstairs still hadn’t left.
Although Madam Gu had made it very clear that she didn’t want any special birthday
celebration, many people still trickled into the house and gifts piled up on the table.
Zhong Guofei held a high position in the business world. Although no one thought very well
of Mrs. Zhong, they still presented the appropriate gifts.
“What for?” Xie Yu turned off the game and put one leg up on the edge of his chair. After
staring at the computer for so long, he was a little tired. “Are you going to give plastic
flowers again?”
Zhou Dalei said, “Don’t look down on plastic flowers. They’re fake, but they will never wilt.
All my gifts are very practical.”
“Giving a scarf in the middle of summer is practical?”
Zhou Dalei would not admit his gift-giving skills were lacking. He tried to explain himself:
“…Winter will come sooner or later.”
“Do I still have to compliment you?”
By six or seven in the evening, the visitors had mostly left.
The house finally quieted. The maid put away the fruit plates, mopped the floor, and wiped
down the tables. Zhong Guofei saw the visitors out.
Gu Xuelan was tired. She was about to go upstairs but when she passed by the kitchen she
saw Xie Yu inside, an apron around his waist, his sleeves folded up. He was holding a
handful of vegetables, washing them carefully under the tap.
The water in the pot had just begun to boil and emitted steam. Xie Yu reached out and
opened the lid, then put some noodles in. He did this with the ease of practice, without any
dawdling.
Xie Yu wasn’t a stranger to the kitchen. Before, when Gu Xuelan had been busy with work
and hadn’t had the time to take care of him, he had cooked for himself on days he didn’t go
to Aunt Lei or Aunt Mei’s houses for dinner. A simple bowl of noodles or fried rice.
Gu Xuelan didn’t make a sound. She stood in the kitchen doorway and watched.
He made a very simple bowl of noodles. Green vegetables, a sprinkle of spring onion, and a
fried egg.
He kept his head bowed, eyes attentive.
Gu Xuelan’s eyes filled with tears as she watched him. She turned around and covered her
eyes with one hand.
Xie Yu didn’t say much. Madam Gu finished the noodles one bite at a time, and only then did
he say, “Happy birthday, mom.”
Gu Xuelan nodded and made a soft noise of acknowledgement.
She couldn’t think of anything coy to say, either. In the end, she only replied, “It’s getting
late. Get some sleep. You still have to go to class tomorrow.”
Tomorrow was Monday again. Xie Yu lay on the bed and was about to turn off his phone
when the notification bar flashed with two messages. The timing was just right.
It came from QQ friend ‘He Zhao.’
Old Xie, I found something good.
Add Weixin 1502xxx7043, he’ll do your homework for you.
Xie Yu’s finger stilled on the screen. A second passed before he typed a question mark: ?
He Zhao: From our year. He specializes in doing your homework for you.
He Zhao: Shen Jie said this person is very capable. His prices are fair and he can even
imitate your handwriting. He’s so good at it even Dean Jiang can’t tell.
He Zhao: And if he gets one wrong, he’ll do ten to make it up.
Xie Yu: So?
Xie Yu felt that his knowledge of being a slacker was still too limited. He simply wasn’t good
enough.
Tell you via call. Is this a good time?
Although Xie Yu wasn’t interested, he still mustered up enough energy to reply, sure.
The next second, He Zhao sent an invitation.
Xie Yu didn’t look carefully at it and thought it was a normal voice call.
So, when he hit accept, He Zhao appeared in the middle of the screen wearing only a pair of
underpants.
He Zhao hadn’t even toweled his hair. He stood barefoot on the ground, bent over by his
bed going through his clothes. His shoulder blades and spine were drawn tight by the
movement, and the red string still hung around his neck. The vigor only a youth could
possess radiated from him.
Xie Yu was silent for two seconds, then said, “What are you doing? Showing off your damn
black underwear?”
“Fuck.” He Zhao jumped, too. He picked up his clothes and looked back. “…What the hell.”
He Zhao had been busy putting on clothes and had accidentally hit the video call button
instead.
The lighting on Xie Yu’s side wasn’t good—a little dark—but by the looks of it he was lying
on his bed. He Zhao put on shirt and pants in a few swift movements. “Hand slipped. Hey,
don’t look like that. Clearly you’re the one who benefited here. Your big bro’s body…”
“If nothing’s the matter, I’m hanging up.”
He Zhao stopped bragging about his body. “There was something. Right. The homework
person.”
Xie Yu wasn’t sure why He Zhao had to talk one-on-one with him about someone who did
homework for others. He asked, “Does he give a twenty percent discount for doing two sets
of homework?”
“No,” He Zhao said. “Do you still have the piece of paper I gave you? What homework is
there? Even I can’t tell what on earth I wrote on here.”
“……”
Xie Yu ‘greeted’ He Zhao calmly, with no trace of profanity. The general gist was to tell him
to go somewhere cool. Then he prepared to cut the video call.
“Just try it! Maybe you and my handwriting have a special connection.”
“You’d better ask the homework guy if he and your handwriting have a special connection,”
Xie Yu said. “Can he imitate this mess of yours?”
Xie Yu finished speaking and immediately hit end call. His phone screen returned to the
home screen, where the icon of the Apple of Knowledge—he had forgotten to delete it—
still lay quietly in the ‘Games’ folder. The patch of green was very eye-catching.
Before he knew it, night had fully fallen outside his window. Wind rushed in through the
window from outside, bringing with it a touch of cold.
Xie Yu shut his eyes and his consciousness grew fainter. But he was somehow aware that
summer was about to pass.
That hot and suffocating summer, when Zhou Dalei yelled through the phone, “F–king
damn it stealing my violet weapon,” when He Zhao had pulled aside his black mask and
smiled as he said, “I’m mixed blood from eight countries,” was about to pass.
Translation notes:
[1] ‘salted fish’ is a homophone for ‘lots of free time and bored’. ‘Like I’m drunk and
dreaming’: passing time in a daze.

Chapter 036 - Yu-ge, you’ve changed.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Xie Yu got up early. He changed into his school uniform and had a breakfast of congee and
vegetables with Madam Gu. Then he glanced at the time and got ready to take the bus back
to school. “I’m leaving. If anything happens, call me.”
Gu Xuelan put down her chopsticks, got up, and said, “Let the driver send you back.”
Xie Yu walked to the entryway and bent down to change his shoes. He hadn’t brought
anything back with him, and now he didn’t take anything with him either. He didn’t look
like he was going back to school, but instead, going out to play. “No need. I’ll go back on my
own.”
“You’re going just like that? You’re not even taking a backpack?” Gu Xuelan wasn’t sure
what to say to him. “Did you do the homework your teachers assigned this weekend?”
Xie Yu said, “I’ve done it. I did it in school.”
This excuse was too fishy. There was no way Gu Xuelan would have believed it. “I think you
didn’t do it at all.”
“There weren’t many questions I could do, anyway.” Xie Yu placed his slippers neatly to the
side, pulled open the door, and went out. A gust of humid wind blew in from outside,
brushing past his face. “It’s the same whether I submit it or not.”
Gu Xuelan was about to say, “It’s getting cold, take care of yourself,” but Xie Yu had already
walked out.
The Zhong family’s house was in a rather remote location and it was half an hour’s walk to
the nearest bus station.
A family on a morning jog was currently running laps in the nearby park. Towels hung
around their necks and they panted as they ran.
Actually, not everything here was a source of frustration.
For instance, the glow of dawn that rose from the horizon, or the trees and blades of grass
he had passed on the way here. Or the couple in front of him, running with their children;
they had deliberately slowed their steps and looked like a slow-motion replay of a
recording.
Xie Yu put in his earphones as he walked and put a song on, then stuck his hands back in his
pockets.
Fresh air and a new day.
The time it took for Xie Yu to get back to school was determined by how smooth the bus
was running. Sometimes, he was more unlucky—this time, for example, the bus broke
down on the way.
The driver smoked a cigarette, examining the bus for a long time before he patted it with a
hand. “No can do. You all wait for the next one.”
The busful of passengers exploded.
Little friend, what time are you getting back to school?
What do you want
Did you miss me? I’ll come meet you at the school gates
Are you sick?
Can we just have a proper conversation? Thank goodness I have a good temper… ah, when
you get to school later don’t rush to class. I’ll wait for you in the bathroom.
He Zhao had probably gotten to the classroom early and had nothing better to do than
bother him.
Xie Yu chatted on and off with him for a while; one of them wanted nothing more than to
end the conversation while the other did their best to revive the dying tree.¹
The next bus arrived quickly. It stopped with a shudder, the ‘91’ plate indicating its route
hanging in the glass window.
When Xie Yu got to school, there were still ten minutes before class began; he wasn’t late
yet. Mad Dog couldn’t do anything to him and could only glare from the school gates.
“Hurry up! Start running! Every second counts!”
Mad Dog continued, “You don’t know how to use your time well at all! You’re almost in year
three, do you think this is your first day? …Remember to ask your deskmate. At first, he’d
try to climb the wall every morning, and every morning I’d catch him. I would just wait by
the wall.”
Xie Yu maintained the same pace and walked past Dean Jiang, neither quickly nor slowly.
He was not that interested in listening to Mad Dog’s war stories. “Sorry for the disturbance.
Goodbye, Dean Jiang.”
Xie Yu went upstairs and saw someone walking to and fro in the corridor outside Class 2.3.
Wan Da had his head stuck out the window, looking out with one hand on the windowsill.
Xie Yu wasn’t bothered and was about to walk over when someone grabbed his wrist from
behind and dragged him in the opposite direction.
Xie Yu hadn’t been prepared. He took two steps backwards and was dragged along, and by
the time he realized what was happening, he had already been pulled into a stall in the
boys’ bathroom.
“I told you not to go to class.” He Zhao let go. Two people in a stall was really a little
cramped and they were very close together. “Didn’t you see the class rep hanging around
the corridor?”
He Zhao wore a light jacket over his school uniform. It was a loose vest, black, a sharply
drawn set of wings on the back. His white uniform shirt stuck out past the bottom of the
vest.
Xie Yu had not taken He Zhao’s words, ‘I’ll wait for you in the toilet,’ to heart at all. “What’s
he hanging around there for?”
“He said he’d explain trigonometric functions to us.” He Zhao scratched his head and said
helplessly, “…The moment I stepped into class this morning he started reciting formulas at
me.”
Xie Yu: “……”
He Zhao: “Didn’t expect that, did you? I’m really impressed. He’ll definitely do great things
in the future.”
Over the weekend, Xie Yu had almost forgotten that there was someone in class trying
madly to save the class average.
Xue Xisheng’s focus and endurance was far beyond that of an ordinary person’s. Just look at
the post-it notes all over his desk, and the reference books stacked in his drawer, on the
desk, on the floor, and even in a corner of the classroom because he had nowhere else to
put them.
For the past two days, aside from finishing his own homework, Xue Xisheng had been
thinking about how to lead everyone to study well.
The two of them had been squashed in the toilet stall for a while and Xie Yu was starting to
find this very stupid. Why were they hiding in a toilet stall so early in the morning?
Listening to Xue Xisheng recite formulas might be more exciting.
So the two of them started quarrelling.
“You can’t abandon me here.”
“Don’t block the door.”
“Old Xie, if you walk out this door, we’re not brothers any more.”
“We never were.”
“……”
When the bell was about to ring for class, the student on duty carried a cloth and a bucket
to the bathroom. After cleaning it, he turned off the tap and wrung out the cloth, and was
about to walk out when he heard a faint noise from a toilet stall, so he stopped and glanced
around.
In the stall.
He Zhao’s back was to the door, blocking it so Xie Yu couldn’t open it.
Xie Yu’s arm went around He Zhao’s waist and went for the door handle; he had just
twisted it open when He Zhao pushed him inward again.
The two forces opposed each other, and although the range of movement wasn’t large,
when Xie Yu stepped back he accidentally kicked the trash can and the whole thing
overturned and crashed onto the ground.
He Zhao was worried he’d fall and reached out to catch him.
Xie Yu’s balance had been fine, but now that He Zhao had pulled him, he fell backwards. “…
Fuck.”
The student on duty probably hadn’t looked at his horoscope for the day or he’d definitely
have found the words, ‘you’ll have bad luck in the bathroom.’
The door of the last stall slowly opened and he saw, very clearly, Xie Yu slumped on the
toilet seat and He Zhao bent at the waist with one hand on his neck.
Their positions were really quite suggestive.
“I, I… didn’t see anything…” The student on duty walked backwards out the door. “I really
didn’t see anything.”
Xie Yu maintained a chilly expression and said nothing.
He Zhao straightened. “Hey, friend.”
The student on duty was probably shell-shocked because he even said as he retreated,
“Don’t kill me.”
Good news doesn’t get past the front door; news of a gay affair spreads a thousand miles.²
At the end of the first period, Wan Da came over to ask, “So what were you two doing in the
toilet this morning?”
“Doing nothing.” Xie Yu finished copying his homework and said, “Are you itching for a
beating today?”
Wan Da said, “I’m mischievous, but not itchy.” ³
He Zhao saw Xue Xisheng follow Tang Sen out and lowered his guard then joined in the
great conversation. “News spreads so fast?”
“My elementary school classmate’s classmate from last year is a good friend of the next
door’s class chair’s cousin.” Wan Da finished reporting his grapevine’s points of contact,
then asked, “But back to the topic. Zhao-ge, you really stripped Yu-ge of his clothes?”
Xie Yu put the cap of his pen back on and finally looked up. He stared intently at Wan Da.
“What?”
Wan Da couldn’t tell if Xie Yu’s expression was a little upset or very upset. After thinking on
it a little, he concluded that he wasn’t in that much danger. “I don’t know what the initial
version of the story was, but by the time it got to me, that’s what they said. The two of you
had a terrible fight in the toilet and your clothes were in disarray… anyway, it was very
exciting.”
Rumors… one person spread it to ten, who spread it to a hundred, and could create chaos
out of nothing.
Wan Da asked, “Is it true? Come, come closer and say it quietly. I promise I won’t say a
word.”
Xie Yu moved his chair back; he had no interest in dealing with this.
He Zhao, on the other hand, secretively leaned closer. “Do you want to know?”
Wan Da: “Yes.”
“Actually, that isn’t all we did,” He Zhao said. “We did things that are even more thrilling…”
Wan Da narrowed his eyes craftily, now attentive. “Oh?”
Taking advantage of Wan Da’s moment of weakness, He Zhao calmly rolled up a student
newspaper by his hand and knocked Wan Da’s head with it. “You—even—dare—spread
rumors—about me! I gave you freedom and you let it get to your head?” ⁴
Wan Da seemed to have been knocked stupid. He held his head, looking tearfully at Xie Yu,
and written across his face was: Your deskmate’s bullying me.
Xie Yu was initially frustrated, but seeing them horsing around like this he didn’t feel the
need to quibble further.
“How can you,” Xie Yu began, and Wan Da nodded furiously, barely restraining himself
from yelling, ‘From today on, you’re my real bro.’ But then Xie Yu picked up an English
textbook and continued, “…how can you use newspaper? It’s so light. You playing around?”
He Zhao laughed out loud.
Wan Da looked at the thick English book, turned, and ran. He felt very aggrieved: You’ve
changed, Yu-ge, you’ve changed…
Midday break.
Luo Wenqiang, hoping for the stars and the moon, had impatiently waited for Erzhong’s
official autumn sports meet. He finally got the signup form from Tang Sen’s office, returned
to class, and yelled enthusiastically, “Classmates, I want to announce something!”
Wan Da and Liu Cunhao stood in front of him, fighting to imitate Old Tang. They talked
slowly and actually did quite a good impersonation. “For the autumn sports meet, Luo
Wenqiang, you make the groups… make sure everyone enthusiastically signs up to
showcase our class spirit.”
Luo Wenqiang had been interrupted and now he stood on the stage awkwardly. “Why are
the two of you like this? Trying to put me out of a job?”
The classroom was noisy.
Xie Yu lay on his desk, shut his eyes, and rested. He had been staring at his phone all
morning and now his eyes were tired.
He Zhao thought his deskmate was asleep. Xie Yu, lying down, felt something warm touch
his right ear; it closed over his ear and shut out the sound of Luo Wenqiang and the others
talking.
—It was He Zhao’s hand.
Then he heard He Zhao shush them. “My deskmate is sleeping. Be quiet.”
Actually, Xie Yu wasn’t the only one lying down. Several girls in the row in front were also
sleeping and thought it noisy but didn’t want to say anything.
Xie Yu moved his fingers and thought about opening his eyes, but he kept the same posture
and didn’t move.
He hadn’t been sleepy at all, but now that he had closed his eyes… he really ended up falling
asleep.
Translation notes:
[1] revive the dying tree: bring [the conversation] back to life
[2] A play on an idiom ‘Good news doesn’t get past the front door; bad news spreads a
thousand miles’, meaning that people are more likely to hear things about your dirty
laundry than the good things that happen to you
[3] ‘itching for a beating’ is a phrase up of the two words ‘mischievous’ and ‘itchy’
[4] the slang expression He Zhao uses is ‘you dare bite my tongue’

Chapter 037 - Crossdressing Big Bro

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
They had gym class in the afternoon, so Luo Wenqiang said, “Sorry, sorry. I got too excited
there. Let’s talk during gym class, then. If you want to participate, just come find me
anytime.”
Xie Yu was a light sleeper. He heard someone talking, but he wasn’t listening closely.
Right before class started, Wu Zheng passed by their classroom and handed the homework
to the class rep, who distributed it to the class. He was very energetic about handing out the
papers, and even though people asked if they could help, he didn’t let them.
“Xie, Xie Yu…” The class rep read out the name, then looked up and locked eyes with his
target.
The next second, an exercise book crash-landed next to Xie Yu’s head.
Xie Yu opened his eyes.
The class rep made a ‘Sorry’ hand motion. Xie Yu didn’t say anything and didn’t look at the
exercise book before stuffing it into the desk drawer.
He Zhao was looking down at his phone to the side. He was wearing his earphones in, the
cord winding out from his pocket.
When the class rep got to He Zhao, he called out, “Zhao-ge!”
He Zhao obligingly raised his hand to catch the ‘ball.’ After he caught it, he exclaimed in
English: “Wo-ow, nice.”
“You’re awake?” After catching the exercise book, He Zhao turned to Xie Yu and asked, “…
Where’s your homework?”
Xie Yu said, “What do you need it for?”
He Zhao was good at taking what he wanted, and now he leaned right over to Xie Yu’s side
of the desk and looked in the desk drawer. “Just taking a look.”
Xie Yu didn’t stop him and didn’t hit his head with anything. He took the exercise book and
slammed it onto the desk. “Take it and admire it and scram.”
On both his and He Zhao’s exercise books, from start to finish, there weren’t many big red
checkmarks.
He Zhao flipped to the questions from this weekend and verified that Xie Yu hadn’t done a
single one right, either, then contentedly closed it and put it back for him. “When I see how
you’re doing I feel reassured.”
Xie Yu was still lying down, half his face obscured with his sleeve so that only his eyes
showed. The warm breath he exhaled landed on the fabric of his sleeve, and he looked like
a little animal that one wanted to reach out and pet. Of course, before one did so, they’d
have to prepare to die. “What’s up with that?”
He Zhao pointed at a line of text on the blackboard: Wu Zheng’s writing, neat and
boisterous.
—The two students who got everything wrong, go to the office during gym class. Be there
or else.
“……”
“It happened when you were sleeping.” In the end, He Zhao couldn’t resist reaching out and
ruffling Xie Yu’s hair. “Life’s like that. An endless amount of surprises.”
Xie Yu didn’t really mind and made a noise of assent. Really, he still seemed quite cold: from
his expression to his voice, he was, all 360 degrees of him, cold. But He Zhao thought he
must have been possessed—or perhaps it was just that Xie Yu’s hair was so soft. He actually
thought that the emotionless killer, when he had just woken up, was just a little bit cute.
He Zhao continued, “Don’t worry. I’m here for you.”
At this point Xie Yu couldn’t continue agreeing.
The notice stayed on the blackboard through the next two class periods. Even though it
didn’t mention their names directly, everyone knew who it referred to.
Wan Da was excited. “Shall we make a bet?”
Liu Cunhao said, “Do we need to bet on this? ‘The two students…’ who else would it be?”
Xu Qingqing: “Can you find a third person in our class who gets all the homework wrong?”
Xie Yu glanced at He Zhao’s exercise book and found that he had just copied the question,
then wrote very casually, in the right margin, ‘Solution:’ …and then nothing.
“Didn’t you find someone to do your homework for you?” Xie Yu put his own exercise book
back in the desk drawer and asked, “That’s all he did for you?”
He Zhao said, “I didn’t contact him. Thanks to you reminding me, I realized that aside from
myself, there’s no one in the world with such suave handwriting. Look at the boldness of
these strokes, these letter joins…”
Xie Yu mercilessly cut him off. “You can praise dogshit all you want, it won’t grow flowers.”
“Ding Lianghua, you do the sprint and the relay, all right? I’ve heard about your heroic
exploits. You’re very explosive for a short distance… and then, the girls. I’m not so sure
about things on your side. Qing-jie, help me out? Get a list of who wants to participate on
the girls’ side.”
During gym class, Luo Wenqiang, Liu Cunhao, and the others sat on the quad in a circle. Luo
Wenqiang had put three pens in his pocket and now he pulled one out and handed it to Xu
Qingqing. “And the class event is tug-of-war, so I’ll find some time to explain the strategy to
you. As for long-distance, that’ll be Zhao-ge and Yu-ge… ah, where are they?”
At this point, Luo Wenqiang found that the two long-distance champions he had already
picked out last week were both not present.
Wan Da said, “You only realized now that they’re not here? They were called to the faculty
office.”
Liu Cunhao added: “Those two long-distance runners got all the math homework wrong.”
Luo Wenqiang scratched the back of his head. “Ah? I was so excited after getting the notice
about the sports event that I didn’t notice…”
The two long-distance runners were currently suffering a fate worse than death in the
faculty office.
“The two of you, take your homework and find somewhere to sit. When you figure it out,
then you can go to gym class.” Wu Zheng finished speaking, then looked down and
continued grading homework. “The two of you are really something. But there’s one thing I
have to compliment you on. At least you don’t copy, and you have a bottom line that you
stick to.”
He Zhao said, “Thank you, thank you.”
Wu Zheng hadn’t imagined He Zhao had such a thick skin, either. His hand stilled on the
homework pile. “You really think I’m praising you?!”
Xie Yu took the homework and dragged He Zhao away. He explained on behalf of his
deskmate, “He didn’t take his meds before leaving his dorm room today.”
“He does have to take meds,” Wu Zheng said. “He’s quite seriously ill.”
There weren’t many teachers in the faculty office at this time. Old Tang had gone to teach
literature to the class next door and his desk was empty, so they sat at Old Tang’s desk and
did the questions, since it wasn’t convenient to sit at other teachers’ desks.
The last few times they had been here, neither of them had noticed that Tang Sen’s desk
held several small potted plants, their individual names written on post-it notes alongside
to-do lists like the watering schedule. He was clearly very attentive.
He Zhao lifted his hand to one of the post-its and read out the name of the small succulent
plant. “…Xiao Cui?”
Xie Yu: “……”
“Are middle-aged men all so terrifying when they name things? This is a Haworthia cooperi,
isn’t it?” He Zhao rested his forearms on his exercise book; clearly he was in no mood to do
the questions. “He’s a literature teacher after all. Xiao Cui?”
Xie Yu glanced up. Under the glass pane covering Tang Sen’s desk were many photographs
of the classes he had taught over the years, the dates ranging from the 00s in a neat row all
the way up to last year.
“What are you looking at?” He Zhao asked.
Xie Yu was about to say he was looking for last year’s graduating class’s photos, then
figured this would be a silly thing to say, and decided to say nothing and keep doing the
homework instead.
The office desk separated them. He Zhao kept talking for a while more, then stealthily slid
his stool over little by little, only stopping when he was right next to Xie Yu. He poked his
deskmate with a pen. “Did you get the question Old Wu was explaining just now?”
Xie Yu gripped his own pen and asked, “What do you think?”
“I think I got it,” He Zhao said. “I think I really got it this time.”
The questions weren’t hard. Wu Zheng walked them both through it, from the structure to
the individual steps, and they would have had to be idiots to still not get it.
Fortunately, this time when He Zhao said he understood, he really had understood. Most
likely, he just really wanted to go to gym class, so his intelligence took a temporary leap. Xie
Yu also relaxed his expectations of himself, and after half a class period or so they managed
to work the questions out.
“They’re here, they’re here. Gym rep, your long distance runners are here.” Wan Da’s eyes
were sharp and caught sight of He Zhao and Xie Yu from a distance. “The hopes of our
village—no, our class—are here.”
“What hopes of the village?” He Zhao walked over and saw Class 2.3 all sitting on the quad
in a big and neat circle. He also sat down and tapped the floor. “Old Xie, sit.”
“The long distance event! Three thousand meters.¹ No one in class wants to run it.”
“Put it down.” He Zhao waved a hand generously. “My name. Put me down for anything.”
Wan Da: “Impressive.”
Liu Cunhao: “Strong!”
Luo Wenqiang then looked at Xie Yu, who said with indifference, “Fine.”
The word ‘fine’ was the most gentle thing Luo Wenqiang had ever heard come out of Xie
Yu’s mouth, and he was so touched he almost cried. “All right, then I’m putting your names
down. The two of you, first long distance, and then… let me see. Push-ups? Can you do
push-ups?”
The sports meet spanned two days, which meant there were no classes for those two days.
Although no one was that enthusiastic about sports, the two days of no classes were very
attractive. And even if they didn’t step onto the court, everyone wanted to have a share in
it.
“The class next door got a set of class t-shirts. Should we get a set, too?” Xu Qingqing was
rather attentive to dress. “We can lose in anything else but we can’t lose in momentum.”
Wan Da said, “A guy from the class next door is crossdressing. Do we have to find someone
to do that, too?”
The topic of conversation got weirder and weirder.
By the time the dismissal bell rang, they still hadn’t reached any sort of conclusion.
The student on duty returned the gym equipment to the equipment room while Luo
Wenqiang was in charge of cleaning up the court. The circle of the class 2.3 students had
dispersed, leaving only stragglers behind.
Wan Da went over to He Zhao and whispered, “Actually, when we were talking about
crossdressing just now, the first person I thought of was Yu-ge.”
He Zhao: “If you want to die, I can see you off.”
“No, really. With Yu-ge’s looks—I’m not saying he’s girly, he’s not girly at all, he’s very
manly…” Wan Da searched his entire vocabulary and couldn’t come up with a suitable
descriptor. “That is, anyway, both Qing-jie and I think so. Do you think Yu-ge will agree?”
“You’re really going to die.”
He Zhao continued, “And you’re going to leave this world at a speed you can’t even
imagine.”
When Xu Qingqing got wind of this news she was a little regretful, but then she had an
epiphany and thought of a new idea. “Since we can’t win the most beautiful in the year
award, then we must have a most eye-catching crossdressing Big Bro, like a Golden
Barbie…” ²
Luo Wenqiang felt a chill wind at his back.
And then countless pairs of eyes turned to stare at him.
Xie Yu wasn’t aware of this Crossdressing Big Bro discussion. He had gone outside to take a
call and by the time he came back in, Luo Wenqiang was already sitting on the floor of the
classroom crying. “I don’t want to, I refuse—why must you all do this to me?!”
“Your muscles are very sexy,” Wan Da comforted him. “Have a little faith in yourself.”
He Zhao was laughing so hard he couldn’t sit up straight. He waved to Xie Yu, then leant
close and said, “Our class rep, in girls’ clothes. Scary or not?”
“Are we making a horror film?”
He Zhao said, “Yeah.”
Then He Zhao continued, “Have you worn a skirt before?”
Something suddenly snapped in Xie Yu’s mind.
Things were better now that his looks had matured a little. When he was a child, even
though he had his hair cut short, many people had mistaken him for a girl, Zhou Dalei being
one idiot among them. He had called Xie Yu ‘little girl’ and so their friendship had taken
many more years than it otherwise would have to solidify. Now, they only rarely met.
Zhou Dalei had been very troubled, too. He had to admit he was wrong and he couldn’t beat
Xie Yu in a fight.
Madam Gu had also played pranks of her own when she was younger. Her son was soft and
cute and pretty, so she found it fun to cajole him into wearing skirts. Now, at home, there
were several photos of his dark history that he’d never be able to erase.
Wan Da was still trying to comfort the psychologically scarred gym rep when he heard a
crash in the back of the classroom. He looked up and saw that for some reason He Zhao and
Xie Yu had gotten into a tangle again and even overturned their chairs.
Liu Cunhao couldn’t help sighing as he looked on. “They’re doing it again? If a day goes by
where they don’t do something, I’ll feel that Class 2.3 is lacking something.”
“Big bro, I’m wrong, I’m wrong, all right?” He Zhao cajoled as he admitted his mistake, at
the same time pouring oil on the fire with his own hands. “But Old Xie doth protest too
much, methinks. Have you really worn a skirt before?”
Xie Yu had been talking with his fists the whole time. He Zhao couldn’t hold his own, and he
didn’t dare retaliate, so now he leaned backward and clutched his stomach, yelling, “.. Ah,
that hurts.”
Due to He Zhao’s impressive track record, Xie Yu’s first thought was that he was putting on
an act again. And a very exaggerated one, at that.
But Xie Yu still took two steps forward, not knowing why. “Where does it hurt?”
He Zhao’s mind didn’t work fast enough and he didn’t know what to say. His mind went
through three different locations within a single second and finally his hand stopped on his
chest. “Here. Maybe it’s internal injuries.”
He only needed to open his mouth to cause internal injuries. Truly impressive.
Xie Yu reached out and touched him through his shirt’s fabric. “Here?”
He Zhao looked down at Xie Yu’s hand resting on his chest and suddenly felt a little dazed.
“Ah, yeah.”
That strange and confusing thought didn’t stay very long. He saw Xie Yu twist his wrist and
said, “Damn it, you’re really going to give me internal injuries…”
Translation notes:
[1] 3000m: about 1.8 miles
[2] Golden Barbie: a woman who is attractive and also very muscular.
Chapter 038 - Push-ups
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The ‘Crossdressing Big Bro’ hurdle was probably one they wouldn’t overcome. While Old
Tang wasn’t watching, Liu Cunhao and the others used the class computer to look for skirts.
“How about this one? There’s lace, so it looks princessy… romantic, and also quite elegant.”
Wan Da: “Let’s go with this maid outfit. This one’s good. Looks seductive.”
Luo Wenqiang, who had no affection for such things: “……”
“The one above that. Scroll up.” After the tussle with Xie Yu, He Zhao bent down and righted
his chair with one hand, joining in on the fun. “Not that one. Scroll up.”
“Which one?” Liu Cunhao scrolled up for a long time and didn’t see any that fit the bill, so
the more he scrolled the more confused he was. “Zhao-ge, did you see wrong?”
Then He Zhao showcased his taste in women’s clothing to the whole class without holding
back at all. “Third from the top. That one’s good.”
On the screen was a peony floral-print sheath dress, a dogshit mess of clashing red and
green.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” He Zhao sat in his seat and looked at the projector
screen, then at his deskmate. “What do you think? Isn’t this a good one?”
Liu Cunhao and the others were shocked into silence by this unbearably tacky dress and He
Zhao’s textbook terrible taste. A thousand words stuck in each of their throats.
Xie Yu said, “Don’t you have any sense of this at all?”
He Zhao said, “I think it’s fine. If this were a dressup game, this dress would definitely get a
good score.”
“A Renminbi player has no right to speak here.”
“Believe me.”
“Shut up.”
“Look at these colors. So bright…”
“Bright?” Xie Yu sneered, drawing blood at once. “The aunties at the flea market have taste
that leaves yours eight blocks in the dust.”
When Xie Yu finished, Wan Da started clapping. “Well said. Exquisite.”
Liu Cunhao: “A like for Yu-ge.”
He Zhao: “……”
After He Zhao’s farce, Luo Wenqiang’s emotions had gone through a rollercoaster and
opposing forces had leveled each other out. Now he felt that the romantic princess dress
and the maid uniform weren’t that hard to stomach after all.
So Luo Wenqiang clenched his hands into fists and endured the pain. “Then, then let’s go
with the one from just now.”
“Zhao-ge, well done!”
Wan Da had clearly overthought things. Recalling what had just happened, he now thought
that He Zhao had intentionally looked for the ugliest outfit to provoke the gym rep. He shot
He Zhao a thumbs-up and said with respect, “You still have the most impressive tricks.”
“I’ll take the compliment.” He Zhao was very confused but he was fairly well-practiced at
carrying on a conversation. After he said that, he bent close to Xie Yu’s ear and whispered,
“What’s he praising me for?”
Xie Yu pushed his head away; he wasn’t in the mood to talk.
After the last class of the day, everyone packed up their bags and prepared to go home as
the student on duty cleaned the blackboard.
The live-in students were more concerned with what was for dinner. He Zhao had been
messing around on his phone all through the last class period, and he even slipped out to
make a phone call while Old Wu wasn’t looking.
Recently, the Gold List Restaurant had started a school delivery service and had sent a text
to their customer mailing list to let them know.
He Zhao finished ordering, then asked, “Where do you want to send it? Which room?”
Shen Jie walked out of the toilet, coughing, smoke curling around him as he sprayed air
freshener on himself to mask the smell of smoke. He turned and saw his Zhao-ge with one
hand stuck in his pocket, standing in the corner of the stairwell with his back to the wall.
“Zhao-ge, what are you doing?” Shen Jie walked over, still spraying.
He Zhao turned to glance at him and didn’t respond. After a moment’s thought, he said into
the phone, “And a fish, too,” then pulled the phone away and met Shen Jie’s eyes. “What was
the name of that fish dish you ordered at the Gold List?”
Shen Jie responded, “Ah? What fish? The one that got overturned on the floor? Steamed
perch. Why?”
“Nothing.” He Zhao reported the name of the dish, then continued, “My little friend likes it.”
Shen Jie’s hand jerked. “…Wow, damn.”
The dismissal bell rang and the deliveryman happened to call at the same time.
He Zhao went downstairs to collect the food. There were hardly any people left in the
classroom; the live-in students had gone to the cafeteria to eat and only the student on duty
was still here cleaning.
The classroom was much quieter now.
Xie Yu sat there, extremely bored. He really wasn’t sure what He Zhao was doing. Near the
end of class he had told Xie Yu, “Stay right here and don’t go anywhere.” Before he finished,
Xie Yu had already stamped on his foot.
The last class period was math and Old Wu had gone over the new formats for the
questions in the next monthly exam, but not in much detail.
Xie Yu was bored anyway, so he wrote down the solution steps on the notes app in his
phone, then pulled out a piece of scratch paper and started to draft it.
He had just one pen. At the baptism in the slackers’ gathering grounds at the previous
monthly exam, he had discovered that nearly everyone was short some writing materials,
whether an eraser or a 2B pencil. Some didn’t even have a pen to answer the questions
with.
The group had traded supplies back and forth—I save you and you save me—and some
people even wrote their exams with the lead refill for a mechanical pencil.
Xie Yu had probably dropped his pen one too many times. No ink came out when he started
writing, so he tossed it and looked on He Zhao’s side of the desk for a different pen to use.
In order to hide that he was playing phone games in class, He Zhao’s side of the desk was
quite messy and books were haphazardly stacked together.
Xie Yu went through the pile for a while. He didn’t find a pen, but he did find a strange piece
of paper in a math book. He couldn’t make out the higgledy-piggledy scrawl—it seemed like
the solution steps to a problem—but before he could look at it more closely He Zhao
walked into class carrying a bag. “Clean up, and put away all the books on the desk or there
won’t be room for dinner.”
Xie Yu stuffed the piece of paper back.
There were about five dishes, each in their own disposable container, as well as two
cartons of rice.
Xie Yu looked at the fish and found it very familiar. “Gold List?”
He Zhao split his disposable wooden chopsticks and picked out the spring onion slices on
the steamed perch before pushing the fish toward his deskmate. “Ah, I had to climb the wall
to get it. They said deliver to the school. Damn it, is across a brick wall considered
‘delivered to the school?’”
Xie Yu was aware he was a picky eater. When Madam Gu cooked she was careful about the
dishes she made, but He Zhao’s selection of dishes this time around hadn’t triggered any
landmines either.
He faintly remembered He Zhao asking him, the previous time, what he wouldn’t eat. Had
this idiot really remembered?
“Go on, what are you waiting for?” He Zhao said. “Waiting for me to feed you? Not that I
mind. Call me big bro. We can talk about it.”
Xie Yu picked up his chopsticks to split them. “Do you want to die?”
Wan Da returned from dinner, humming as he walked in holding a cup of milk tea. From
the doorway he could smell food and as he walked in, he looked at the table. “The two of
you went a little overboard, didn’t you? The cafeteria food was so bland it was ready to
hatch,¹ and it was all leftovers from lunch… but here you are, enjoying yourselves.”
He Zhao finished his last two bites of rice and said, “You’re enjoying yourself, too, aren’t
you? Where did you get the milk tea? Is it good?”
“The Fudan Milk Tea shop across the street,” Wan Da said. “It’s passable. But it says bubble
milk tea and I never found any bubbles.”
Xie Yu said, “Then why did you buy it?”
Wan Da said, “To be very honest, Fudan² is my dream.”
For the rest of the week, the sports meet was on everyone’s mind.
“……”
For the sports meet class uniform, Xu Qingqing picked a vest; it was practical and they
could keep wearing it after the meet was over. Luo Wenqiang wore that elegant and high-
class princess dress and walked at the front of the line, holding a placard.
The gym teacher gave everyone free time to practice and even directed them.
“Who signed up for the push-ups?” After picking out the shot put participants, the teacher
walked over again blowing his whistle. “Who signed up for the push-ups? Eight of you,
right? Come on up and show us what you can do.”
He Zhao, Xie Yu and the others stepped up.
“It’s not how many you do that counts. The judges are looking for form. At last year’s meet,
wow—the first row of participants were so energetic. They were competing for who could
do more. Up, down, up, down, so quickly, and in the end—let me tell you—the one who
went the slowest ended up winning.”
The gym teacher made them plank on the ground, then walked from the head of the line to
the end. He hadn’t even started the timer and already one of the boys couldn’t hold it and
fell down.
The first one fell, then three or four others fell like dominoes.
He Zhao didn’t feel anything. He could still hold it for a long time, but seeing that all the
people next to him were sitting on the ground, he felt a little silly still holding his own
plank, so he and Xie Yu both went along and sat on the ground.
The gym teacher stopped walking and said, “…Aren’t you lot too weak? Just this little bit
and you already can’t do it? Do you want to do well in the sports meet or not?!”
Xie Yu had originally intended to skip gym class and go back to his dorm room to read, but
Luo Wenqiang had dragged the entire class out to prepare for the sports meet.
The eight push-up contestants sat on the floor of the indoor court. To one side, several
pairs of first-year students were playing badminton.
The shuttlecocks flew across the indoor court. Up into the air, and then down again.
“How many can you do? He Zhao asked.
Xie Yu looked at the player before him run forward several steps, then leap to hit the
shuttlecock. He said, “Don’t know. Never counted.”
“Later, should we see who can do more?”
The gym teacher didn’t give them the chance to compete. He gave it everything he had and
said he’d be able to get their planking skills up to a never-before-seen level in just one short
class period.
“Yes, yes, yes.” Wan Da raised his hand. “Coach, I want to learn this.”
The gym teacher smiled and said, very meaningfully, “Then let us begin.”
Xie Yu had a bad premonition.
Two minutes later, the bad premonition became reality.
The shuttlecocks were no longer flying through the indoor court, and instead a chorus of
‘Whoa’ resounded throughout the hall.
The gym teacher squatted by the side and said, “Odd-numbered students, lie down. Even-
numbered students, begin. On my count, do a push-up. After fifty, you can rest.”
Xie Yu lay under He Zhao and slowly, with a complicated feelings, spat out a single word. “…
Fuck.”
He Zhao’s hands were on either side of Xie Yu’s arms, supporting the weight of his upper
body; he maintained his distance from Xie Yu and was still adjusting his posture. This really
was a little strange and he couldn’t help laughing. “Who invented this? Genius. No wonder
it’ll take you to heights you’ve never reached before.”
Wan Da was really about to cry. He said to the guy above him, “Do your best. If you don’t
hold it, something bad will happen.”
The guy above him was also panicking. “I-I-I’ll do my best.”
Once they had assumed their positions, the gym teacher blew the whistle for the first time.
“一！”
He Zhao lowered his body. The further he went, the closer he got to Xie Yu, and even
though he tried to control his strength, he still inadvertently lightly touched him. Xie Yu’s
body heat seemed to reach him through the thin material of their clothing—his heartbeat
and even the light warmth of his breath seemed to tangle with He Zhao’s.
A while ago, He Zhao could still laugh at the prospect of this lying-down push-up setup;
now, he couldn’t laugh at all.
The two of them couldn’t avoid staring at each other’s faces, and the magnified versions at
that—their eyes, noses, eyelashes, and even every single microexpression was crystal-
clear.
At the corner of Xie Yu’s eye, there was a very tiny mole.
Suddenly, He Zhao couldn’t bear it any more. Who knew which of them turned away first,
breaking this extended eye contact.
He moved his fingers and found that his palms were sweating a little.
Translation notes:
[1]The word for ‘bland’ sounds the same as ‘egg’
[2] Fudan University: a selective and prestigious public research university located in
Shanghai.

Chapter 039 - Love and Peace

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“Stay strong! A true man has ambitions and goals! Darkness before his eyes is not darkness
at all.” The gym teacher had gotten tired of squatting and sat down on the ground, too. He
glanced down at the time, then blew his whistle.
He Zhao had just lifted his body up. Hearing this, he had to lower himself again. He
hesitated a moment and found that he really couldn’t continue staring at a certain little
friend of his. If he kept looking, he probably wouldn’t be able to complete even ten push-
ups. So he turned his head away and his Adam’s apple rolled involuntarily.
This time, He Zhao didn’t stay down too long. He hastily finished the push-up.
Now that the two had averted their eyes, He Zhao stared attentively at the floor of the
indoor court, as if flowers would sprout if he looked long enough. Then Xie Yu asked him,
“How many?”
“Ah.” He Zhao couldn’t think properly and he had not been paying attention to the count at
all. “I don’t know. You weren’t counting, either?”
Xie Yu had turned his head away, and was looking up and to the side. There were several
exposed beams on the roof of the indoor court, and above that, glass panes arranged in a
grid. Xie Yu paused before saying, “I didn’t count.”
“Probably more than ten.”
As He Zhao finished speaking, he found that he couldn’t keep staring at the floor. His gaze
drifted, slowly coming to alight on Xie Yu’s neck; the line of it was surprisingly beautiful,
and in the end he said—whether to himself or Xie Yu, who knew—“… Just bear with it for a
little longer.”
All right, he could do that.
He’d bear with it.
When Xie Yu had first lain down, he had really wanted to raise one knee and send this guy
flying. He maintained a cold expression, feeling very foolish. His mock exams had been right
there and instead of doing them, he had come to attend this absurd gym class.
After he calmed down, he started to think about who he would kill first after he got up.
Luo Wenqiang, who had dragged Xie Yu to gym class on pain of death, was currently
training at the quad. For some reason, he felt a chilly wind at his back. He rubbed his arms
and wondered how the weather could cool so quickly.
He Zhao usually liked to play pranks, but even he was quite restrained at a time like this…
Xie Yu got the impression that He Zhao was aching to run away, as though he was tensed to
jump up at any second, but was restraining himself.
Xie Yu wasn’t sure if the heartbeat he heard ringing in his ears was his own or He Zhao’s—
especially when He Zhao lowered his body and the two were chest to chest for several
fleeting seconds.
Xie Yu watched the ceiling beams and faintly felt that something wasn’t right. Or should he
say that this feeling—that something wasn’t right—had been around for a long time, but it
was especially strong today.
A wild beast had long since taken up residence in his heart, and while it ordinarily napped
quietly, today it was charged with excitement and started wildly roaring. It was unnerving,
but at the same time… very thrilling, somehow.
The gym teacher had started the exercise out counting, and somewhere in the middle he
had replaced the count with the whistle. Some of them couldn’t help thinking he was trying
to surreptitiously make them do a few more. They were still complaining internally when
the gym teacher blew on the whistle again and then reported, “Twenty! Very good, keep
going!”
A student expressed his doubt. “Teach, only twenty? I feel like I’ve done thirty.”
The gym teacher didn’t flinch. “Student, you’re imagining things.”
Whether it had been twenty or thirty, the two groups of students were thoroughly unable
to continue.
Even though each of them had another male student still lying beneath them and the
slightest relaxation of their wrists would cause a tragedy, it still beat the torture that was
doing push-ups. One of them bowed his head and said, “Know-It-All, I can’t endure any
longer.”
Wan Da: “How can you say you can’t! Is your life’s mission so easily defeated by fifty paltry
push-ups?”
“…I really can’t do any more.”
More and more students crowded around, making a ruckus. Aside from those who had
been playing badminton, another huge group had arrived, both from the year above and
the year below. Liu Cunhao took the opportunity to slip in, too. “Damn it, you all… are very
ardent.”
Xie Yu put one hand to his forehead. He felt a headache coming on.
“Can we not linger here watching the show, friends?” He Zhao turned and said. “Especially
you, Liu Cunhao. As the class chairman, could you please protect the dignity of the students
in our class 3?”
As if the students in Class 2.3 still had dignity left. It had all been lost long ago.
Even though they had lost their dignity, they still had a chance to save their push-up
abilities. There were several first-year girls in the surrounding crowd—this was just like
showing off for girls in the audience stand when playing basketball. Even if they were down
to their very last breath, they had to display their physical prowess.
Wan Da watched with his own eyes as the guy who had just said, “I can’t any more,”
suddenly lifted his left hand, curling his hand into a fist, and started doing one-armed push-
ups. “……”
He Zhao had to stop and stare. “Wow. Impressive. Friend, can you win first place for our
class?”
Liu Cunhao led the applause. “Fu Pei, do your best! Another fifty!”
Fu Pei’s whole body went taut. He grit his teeth and kept working.
Xie Yu had turned to look, too. After watching for a while, he asked, “Fu Pei? There’s
someone with that name in our class?”
He Zhao was three push-ups away from fifty. As he lowered his body, he bent close to Xie
Yu’s ear and said, “From the column next to us, second row from the back. When school
started, Old Tang called him over to talk because of some online dating problem.”
Xie Yu searched through his memory but came up with nothing, and on his face hung the
words, ‘No impression.’
“I knew you wouldn’t remember.” He Zhao pushed himself up, exhaled, and said, “Tell me.
You’ve been in this class for more than a month. What do you know of us?”
From Xie Yu’s position he could see the knot in He Zhao’s throat; he followed that line of
sight downward to the somewhat rumpled collar of He Zhao’s uniform shirt.
Fifty push-ups; he could not be feeling nothing. Besides, he was currently in a state of high
tension and after doing the last push-up, he suddenly felt very exhausted. He rotated his
wrist hard and fell down to one side, lying next to Xie Yu. He said slowly, “…Fifty. Your big
brother’s impressive, isn’t he?”
Xie Yu moved himself farther to the other side and said, “Scram. My mom only gave birth to
one child, and that’s me.”
Fu Pei was the most impressive on the court. He had done more than twenty one-handed
push-ups and now he stopped to surreptitiously ask Wan Da, “Are there any girls looking at
me?”
Wan Da couldn’t bear to tell him the cruel truth—that the whole audience, both guys and
girls, were currently watching the two famous class beaus.
“If you think there are, then there are.” Wan Da patted Fu Pei’s shoulders. “You can get up
now.”
The plan had been for them to switch positions so that the odd-numbered students were on
top for another set of 50 push-ups. But the gym teacher hadn’t properly planned for time,
and just as they were supposed to switch positions, the dismissal bell rang.
The gym teacher glanced at the stopwatch hanging at his chest and said regretfully, “Class
is over. All right, class dismissed.”
“……”
The even-numbered students started to complain about their bad luck, while the odd-
numbered students weren’t sure if they were supposed to be happy. After all, they had lain
down for so long for nothing. But they weren’t really looking forward to doing push-ups on
top of someone else, either.
After returning to the classroom, He Zhao and Xie Yu didn’t talk for the next class period.
The atmosphere wasn’t really awkward. Before, He Zhao would always start a conversation
and chatter on, but now he had suddenly gone quiet. He occasionally said something, but
the moment he began, he would lock eyes with Xie Yu and his brain seemed to short-circuit,
so he couldn’t continue.
“What on earth do you want to say?”
After being disturbed several times—He Zhao would call his name, Xie Yu, Old Xie,
Deskmate, in succession and then wouldn’t say any more—Xie Yu was so annoyed he was
getting a headache.
He Zhao flipped open his English textbook and pointed at it, looking for a question to ask.
“Which page are we on?”
Xie Yu said, “Chapter three.”
He Zhao made a noise of assent and went quiet again.
After this exchange, the two students in front of them weren’t sure what to do. They
exchanged notes. They had a falling-out? A quarrel?
The note passed all the way to the class chair’s hands. Liu Cunhao remembered how lovey-
dovey the two school tyrants had been during gym class, and while the English teacher was
turned to the blackboard and writing example sentences, he looked down and wrote, Not at
all. Last class they were still sticking together like glue.
Like a madman, He Zhao stared at his English book for a long time before remembering
that he shouldn’t be listening in class—he should be on his phone.
So, Xie Yu, who always remembered to be on his phone every class period and was now
chatting up a storm with Zhou Dalei, returned to his dashboard and saw that He Zhao had
added a mood message: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Xie Yu: “…Has he really gone mad.”
Before the sports meet, the uniforms the class had ordered arrived. Old Tang let them
change into them to see how they looked, and then he brought an old-fashioned camera
from his office.
The class uniform was a specially-made vest; they need only put it over their uniform. To
decide what should be written on the vest, the class had held a vote and there had been all
kinds of submissions: Together till the end of time, Forever young…
In the end, the voting session had turned into a massacre of who could be the most
exaggerated and pretentious.
“I’m the best!”
“Forever young!”
“I am the best!”
It had dissolved into a quarrel so violent it could overturn the sky. In the end, Old Tang
came over, and the literature teacher who had one foot over the line of middle-age
bestowed three words upon them: Love and Peace.
He Zhao took the vest out of its packaging and shook it out. A simple rectangular shape, the
words Love and Peace ostentatious on the back.
Xie Yu hesitated for a long time. He didn’t want to put it on.
“……”
But the most troubled of all was Luo Wenqiang; he couldn’t go to the boys’ bathroom to
change into a dress, after all. He Zhao put on the vest and got Liu Cunhao and the others to
make a human wall. “Don’t worry, bro. Just change.”
Xie Yu came back from the bathroom and Wan Da shouted to him, “Yu-ge, join us. We have
an empty spot here. Help us fill it.”
“I’m not helping.”
“Zhao-ge, your little friend.” After the chilly Big Bro of the West Building had walked off,
Wan Da whispered to He Zhao, “Can you keep him in line?”
He Zhao stuck his hands in his pocket, fingertips brushing against a piece of lollipop
wrapping paper. He suddenly smiled and said, “I really can’t keep him in line… it’s more
like he keeps me in line.”
For some inexplicable reason, the word ‘henpecked’ flashed through Wan Da’s mind and
scared him so much he jumped. Thankfully, Luo Wenqiang had already changed clothes and
was currently huddled in a corner of the classroom, completely desolate, and refusing to
show his face, thereby attracting the attention of everyone in class. “If you’ve changed, then
come out! Hurry up. Are you a man or not? Dithering around like that.”
He Zhao took two steps backward and stood next to his seat. Now that he had retreated, a
certain massive creature curled up in the corner was fully exposed to everyone’s eyes.
Luo Wenqiang clutched at the wall. “…I don’t want to live any more. You all are cruelly
tearing away any chance a pure-hearted young man has at teenage love. There’s no way I’ll
be able to find a girlfriend in my three years of high school life now.”
He Zhao sat on his desk and smiled.
Xie Yu also found it funny, but his sympathy won out and he decided to save the last scrap
of the gym rep’s dignity for him.
He Zhao, noticing, reached out to tap Xie Yu’s head. “Little friend, are you in a bad mood?”
“Little friend, your ass.”
Xie Yu couldn’t control himself, either, and almost laughed out loud. He said, “I don’t want
to be too cruel.”
Tang Sen raised his camera. He stood in the classroom doorway and smiled as he snapped a
photo.
It wasn’t a proper class photo; they weren’t lined up but scattered around the back of the
classroom. Luo Wenqiang had cried for a long time, and Wan Da now handed him a mirror.
He couldn’t keep crying and, in fact, he started laughing at himself, too. Xu Qingqing took
pictures with her mobile phone and everyone else couldn’t stand up straight for laughing.
Let us freeze the scene at this instant.
The instant when everyone has a smile on their face; endlessly energetic and bursting with
youthful vigor.
And the two boys in the last row.
Although we can only see their backs, they are very close together. Especially He Zhao, who
is sitting on the desk: his posture is relaxed and open, audacious and lawless.
He Zhao’s body is tilted to one side, showing half his face in profile; his hand lies on Xie Yu’s
head, fingers threaded lightly through Xie Yu’s hair, a faint smile on his lips.
And the back of Xie Yu’s head seems to have the word Cold written on it.
The dazzling brilliance of the sunlight trying to shine through the window was stopped by
the curtains. Now a wind blows the curtains upward to reveal these two desks, forever
misaligned. The blackboard, full of chalk-scribbled words, as well as all the students in
class, are bathed in this radiance.
They wear vests in the same style with three big words on the back: Love and Peace.

Chapter 040 - “Big Bro Flirt.”

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“On this day of clear skies and good weather, we welcome you to Liyang Erzhong’s 67th
autumn sports meet. Students, the phrase ‘holistic development’ consists of values,
intelligence, body, beauty, and hard work. The ‘body’ refers to one’s physical condition.”
The sports meet had not yet begun, but there definitely weren’t enough seats in the
stadium and everybody was currently moving chairs from the classrooms to the quad. The
stairwells were jam-packed with people.
Dean ‘DJ’ Jiang’s voice was currently reverberating through the school. “Physical training
and a love for exercise represents the spirit of physical development. I know that in the
day-to-day, everyone is busy with schoolwork, but today you can soar freely upon the quad
and let your perspiration fly…”
“Why is it so crowded? Are you letting us pass or not?”
These male eagles that should have been soaring freely over the quad were currently all
stuck in the stairwell entranceway. Not only the entranceway, but the entire corridor was
full of the click-clack sounds of things being dragged. It was as congested as rush hour
traffic, so packed that even water might not have been able to flow through the cracks.
Class 2.3 occupied the part of the corridor outside their own classroom, and the ones who
couldn’t squeeze out were still waiting in the classroom.
Wan Da had left his chair in the doorway and no one knew where he had gone. After
several minutes, he returned, squeezing back out of the stream of people. “Damn it, the line
goes from the fifth floor to the first floor. The building we were in last year is even worse.
Collisions all along both the east and west buildings.”
“Why are you being a busybody about unrelated things?! If you have so much free time you
should have moved your chair downstairs.” He Zhao dragged his own chair to the rear door
of the classroom and, seeing the impressive sight outside, just gave up and sat down in the
rear doorway. He said around the lollipop in his mouth, “Just wait. It’ll probably be jammed
for another ten minutes, at least.”
As he finished, he turned back to Xie Yu. “Old Xie, come over?”
Xie Yu didn’t move. He lay on his desk and said with his eyes closed, “Not going. Being
squashed in a crowd is no fun.”
“Help me put my number tag on. I can’t reach my back.” He Zhao held the number tag the
gym rep had handed out earlier: a piece of cloth, slightly yellowed from many uses, with a
4-digit number on it. “Quickly. I’m the hope of the entire village.”
Xie Yu didn’t react.
He Zhao repeated himself, then Xie Yu sat up and said, “Wan Da, go help the hope of the
entire village with his number tag.”
Wan Da, who had been dragged into the conversation for no reason: “……”
Wan Da glanced left and then glanced right. He met He Zhao’s eyes and found that, although
Zhao-ge hadn’t said a word, his silence spoke volumes. He could understand from He Zhao’s
face: Please read the room. I want my deskmate to help, so don’t you dare come over and
try.
So Wan Da turned around and pretended not to have heard. “Ah, why aren’t they moving?
How much longer is this jam going to last?”
Xie Yu: “……”
He Zhao mentally took note of Wan Da’s contribution, then dragged the chair back and put
the safety pins and the number tag on the desk. “Sorry to trouble you, little friend.”
Xie Yu took the safety pin and seriously considered pricking him to death.
He Zhao sat facing the back of his chair, his back to Xie Yu. Wan Da stood in the doorway
and shot him a complicated look. He Zhao smiled and even audaciously made a ‘Yeah’
gesture in the air.
Wan Da shook his head; he couldn’t bear watching any longer.
Xie Yu pinned the number on He Zhao’s shirt with a safety pin in each of the four corners.
When he was done, he mercilessly kicked He Zhao’s chair to tell him to get lost, and said
dismissively, “Done.”
He Zhao put a hand to his back and realized Xie Yu had done quite an attentive job, and was
about to praise him but Xie Yu kicked his chair again.
Class 3 had had bad luck and was assigned the corner of the stadium directly opposite the
stage, under the hot sun.
Each of the classes walked in square formation onto the court. Luo Wenqiang had changed
clothes in the indoor court’s toilet and now he walked right in front, holding the class flag.
He Zhao and Xie Yu walked side by side right behind him, leading the rest of the class.
In Xu Qingqing’s words: He Zhao and Xie Yu are the faces of our class. They’ll hold up
everything for us.
Xu Qingqing had meant ‘they’re good-looking,’ but everyone from the other classes didn’t
think so.
When they looked at Class 3’s marching formation, the only emotion in their hearts was
terror. Even though the background music was a rousing military march, with the former
Big Bros of the East and West buildings in front leading more than thirty other people out,
it really gave the impression that they were ready to roll up their sleeves and start a brawl
at any second.
Terribly, terribly wild.
So even though Luo Wenqiang was wearing such audacious clothes, no one dared laugh at
him.
“What’s up with this lot,” He Zhao turned his head slightly and said. “No one’s laughing? Is it
not funny? Everyone was so excited when next door’s Crossdressing Big Bro walked out.
Did we not measure up? Did we lose?”
Xie Yu said, “Maybe he’s too ugly.”
Luo Wenqiang, who had taken a sword to the heart, thought, …Have you considered my
feelings?
The sports meet spanned two days and the long distance event would be held on the
afternoon of the second day. Today, they would only participate in the push-up event that
was taking place in the indoor court.
Although it was already autumn, the midday sun still shone strong in the sky and it felt a
little hot.
He Zhao took off his jacket and lay it over his head to block out the sun. He glanced down at
his phone and saw that Da had sent him a forum link ten minutes ago.
The subject line was, Live broadcast of the two hottest big bros in school – Doing! Push!
Ups! I’ve already exploded like fireworks!
There were already more than a thousand replies and the topic stayed at the top of the
school board, a sea of red. ¹
He Zhao opened a few of the threads, and his instinctive reaction was to close out of the
browser, as if he had just picked up a hot potato. He couldn’t tell if it was because the sun
was too hot or if he had suddenly started burning up from within for no reason again.
After a while, He Zhao opened up the forum thread again… and, as if possessed, hit ‘Save
Image.’
There were three images in all. The indoor lighting was bad and the person taking photos
also hadn’t dared openly take the photographs, perhaps aware of their guilt, so the photos
were out of focus—blurry and suggestive.
Although the photos weren’t in focus, the two main actors were clearly recognizable.
Wan Da, the big mouth, wouldn’t have just sent it to He Zhao, he had probably sent it to the
whole class.
He Zhao tentatively nudged Xie Yu with his arm and asked, “…Did–did you see it?”
“See what?” Xie Yu’s eyes were half-closed as if he was about to fall asleep.
People milled about on the quad, some even riding their bicycles all around the quad.
Others were doing warm-ups—the boys from their class who had picked Ding Lianghua for
the 100m sprint.
Xu Qingqing and a group of other girls were writing an announcement to be submitted for
broadcast, coming up with the script one line at a time.
He Zhao was internally thinking what else could it be, of course it’s the thread about our CP,
² but he couldn’t say it out loud so he beat around the bush. “You know, the one.”
Xie Yu looked at him. “Which one?”
“……”
In the end, He Zhao beckoned to him with a finger and Xie Yu scooched over with much
reluctance.
He Zhao raised his jacket, indicating to Xie Yu to come in, and the two squeezed in under
the jacket, head to head. The phone rested on He Zhao’s thigh and Xie Yu had to lean in and
look down to see.
Xie Yu was looking very intently.
He Zhao stared at the back of Xie Yu’s neck, at his hair that was so soft to the touch and at
his collarbone lightly jutting from the base of his neck, and felt a little regret.
Why had he shown this to him? Or should he say, he wanted to see how he would react?
He Zhao wasn’t sure either what exactly he wanted to find out with this.
Xie Yu went through a few pages. The comments were all about the same, matchmaking all
the way. As he went through the comments, his finger suddenly stopped on comment #52,
which had the comment Damn it, I want to push his head down! Kiss him! Just kiss him!
“……”
Xie Yu blinked slowly, and then He Zhao heard him say calmly, “Ah, I see it now.”
He Zhao hadn’t thought of a response when everyone heard a shrill cheer. “Ah—do your
best!”
Not far away from the court, Ding Lianghua was in a half-squat with both hands on the
track, preparing to run. When the shot rang out, he dashed forward, even faster than on
that night when he had beaten up the study rep.
“Beautiful! First place!” Luo Wenqiang’s face was red from excitement. He spread his arms
and said, “Dingding, I will give you a hug of love!”
Ding Lianghua was normally already very shy and now he turned into a complete social
recluse. After stepping off the court he smiled with embarrassment. “No, no, no need.”
He wiped off his sweat and as he passed by, He Zhao also gave a word of praise. Xie Yu felt
that it’d be too cold not to say anything, so he also said, “Ding Hualiang, not bad.”
“……”
“Ding Lianghua.” He Zhao lightly hit Xie Yu’s head and whispered a reminder. “His name is
Lianghua. When will you remember?”
Old Tang sat to one side, a thermos of wolfberry tea in his hands. He had brought
homework to grade and he looked like an old man getting some sun to improve his calcium
levels. He said, “It’s good to be young,” and as he gazed upon them, he reminisced deeply
about his own youth.
The study rep held a book in his hands and memorized English vocabulary while he
watched the matches.
Very soon, it was time for the pushup event.
Coincidentally, the referee for this event was their gym teacher. When the students of Class
3 saw him they all felt deeply uncomfortable.
The gym teacher held a record sheet in his hand and said, “The lot of you had better do
well. After my special training, you had better place in the top eight… All right, get ready.
One minute.”
Xie Yu had taken off his vest, leaving him in a white short-sleeved shirt.
He Zhao looked at him and said thoughtfully, “Is it easier to move with less clothes? Old Xie,
you’ve thought this through.”
Xie Yu thought, I was just hot.
But he hadn’t managed to say anything before He Zhao started stripping, taking off the vest
in three motions. As he did so the inner shirt rode up, showing half his waist.
Several people around made low, short ‘Ah’ sounds.
“It does feel easier to move.” He Zhao made several tentative motions, then found that Xie
Yu wasn’t saying anything and turned to ask, “What’s the matter?”
Xie Yu said, “I think you’d better not be called Zhao-ge any more.”
He Zhao didn’t understand. “Ah, then what should I be called?”
Xie Yu placed his palms flat on the ground and said coolly, “Big Bro Flirt.”³
He Zhao thought about it for a long time and concluded that this was probably an insult.
One minute of time. In the first half a minute, He Zhao and Xie Yu kept pace with each other.
The gathered audience was whispering and Xie Yu faintly heard someone’s ardent whisper.
“Is this the school forum audience group? Ah, I’m also on the ‘push his head down’ team.”
“Mr. Tang, reporting in, good news, good news. Classmates He Zhao and Xie Yu have placed
first and second in the push-up event respectively!” Luo Wenqiang completed a formal
military salute in front of Tang Sen and reported. “Aside from the two of them, the other six
completely failed.”
Tang Sen nodded. He pulled eight bottles of water from a carton and said, “Reward
everyone. Greatly.”
Xie Yu took the water the gym rep passed out, thanked him, and then glanced around at the
people running on the quad and the people cheering for their classmates.
Suddenly, he realized couldn’t recall how last year’s sports meet had gone.
He probably hadn’t come to the quad at all and had hid in the music room with earplugs in
to sleep instead.
He Zhao had a lollipop in his mouth and he offered Xie Yu one, stuffing it into Xie Yu’s hand
heedless of whether he was going to eat it or not. Then he smiled and shouted to Liu
Cunhao who was running past: “Hao-zi, do your best!”
Liu Cunhao waved to them and answered, “Long live Class 3! I’m the best!”
He Zhao leaned back in his seat again, smiling.
Xie Yu didn’t like sweets; he found them too cloying. But he looked down at the lollipop
wrapper for a while and eventually opened it.
Then Xie Yu stared at the white lines on the track and thought, Really, very cloying.
It was orange and a little sour, too.
That afternoon, near the end of the sports meet, Shen Jie came over from Class 8 and said,
“Shall we go out to eat after school? Didn’t Big Bro Xie say he’d pay? Might as well be
today.”
Shen Jie and He Zhao had each footed the bill for one meal. Xie Yu didn’t like owing people,
so he had said that the next time they went out, he’d pay. Any day was fine.
He Zhao looked at Xie Yu, and seeing that his deskmate had no objections, he silently
agreed. “All right. What shall we eat?”
“Either way, not Gold List again.” Shen Jie found an empty seat behind them and sat down,
thinking hard. “Actually, we’ve been to all the restaurants near school. The Top Scholar
House is both expensive and the food isn’t good. Why don’t we give our business to some of
the smaller restaurants on the other streets?”
So, when school let out, they fruitlessly walked down three streets before deciding where
to eat.
Shen Jie looked up at the shop signboard and was a little confused. He felt as if he hadn’t
walked down three streets but circumnavigated the globe and returned to his original spot.
“…Uh, why do the shops here name themselves so much like the ones near our school?”
“Dian Ji is right around the corner,” Xie Yu reminded him from behind.
Dian Ji—the full name of the school was Information Technology and it was the vocational
skills school closest to Erzhong.
When school let out on Friday, some people from Dian Ji would come over to Erzhong’s
gate to wait for their friends. When Erzhong students quarrelled and, in true youthful
fashion, arranged for a fight, they would also sometimes invite Dian Ji students to come and
help out, and a single phone call could bring a carful of people.
But Erzhong was rather strict so if they wanted to plan a fight, they had to pick a location
farther away from the school.
The small restaurant was already half-full with people. He Zhao pushed the door open and
went in. “This one, then. If we keep looking, evening self-study is going to end, and I haven’t
even finished copying my homework.”
Xie Yu also ignored the people and walked in, found a seat, and sat down. He carefully used
the napkin on the table to wipe down the bowls and chopsticks.
He Zhao lifted a hand, saying, “Boss, the menu?”
The people inside didn’t look too nice. Shen Jie’s right eye started twitching and he couldn’t
stop it.
He followed in, reflexively reaching for his pocket. Mm… his wallet was still there.
Translation notes:
[1] Red indicates a popular topic with many replies.
[2] CP: central pair = ship
[3] ‘Sao-ge’, which sounds very close to ‘Zhao-ge’

Chapter 041 - Ah, it’s fine.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The Dian Ji students all wore grey gym uniforms with a vertical blue streak on one sleeve.
Their uniform was their sign, and Erzhong students would give them a wide berth to avoid
any unnecessary trouble if they saw them.
Shen Jie held on to his pocket the whole time. He sat to one side and observed the
restaurant as well as the people at the other tables.
As He Zhao was flipping through the menu, someone at another table knocked on the table
with a beer glass and said, like he was picking a fight, “Another carton of beer!”
Shen Jie dragged his line of sight back to his own table and saw that his Zhao-ge was also
looking at the available drinks. He Zhao’s finger landed on the menu and he said, “Green
bean soup?”
Xie Yu’s finger landed just under He Zhao’s, less than half an inch away. “I’ll have this.”
“Mineral water again,” He Zhao said. “Your life is really boring, isn’t it?”
Shen Jie watched with wide eyes as they decided on drinks and started to select dishes. He
felt as if he was invisible. A second later, he said, “Are… neither of you going to ask me?
What I want to drink?”
“Order for yourself what food and drinks you want.” He Zhao didn’t even raise his head, and
turned to Xie Yu after he finished speaking. “Will you eat this?”
Damn it, I should just not have come along for this meal. You two go and eat your fill.
Shen Jie gripped his chopsticks tightly with complex feelings.
The table next to them was very raucous, and the sounds of beer bottles being popped open
occasionally reached their table. There was even a girl among them, wearing a very short
miniskirt and a row of piercings along one ear. She had big hoop earrings and a loud voice.
“Sis-in-law, when is Ji-ge coming? Come on, give him a call and hurry him up,” someone said
drunkenly, waving his beer bottle. “We’ve already almost finished two rounds. If he still
doesn’t come… hic.”
Big hoop earrings picked up her phone from the table and said generously, “Right, I’ll rush
him.”
Shen Jie wasn’t very picky about food either, but the two people opposite him were really
getting to be too much. He Zhao ordered a bowl of noodles and specifically mentioned not
to add spices. Shen Jie, unable to hold it in, interrupted. “Why not?”
The moment he asked he regretted asking.
He Zhao replied, “My little friend won’t eat them.”
Shen Jie: “……I’m full. I haven’t even eaten anything and I’m full.”
Who could remember the long list of foods Xie Yu wouldn’t eat, anyway?
Xie Yu’s appetite wasn’t very good; he had been under the hot sun for a long time today. He
ate several pieces of vegetables and half a bowl of noodles, then put down his chopsticks
and went to the counter to pay.
As he got up, someone entered the restaurant.
Xie Yu saw the silhouette out of the corner of his eye and didn’t pay much attention to it. He
looked down at his phone, swiping in his passcode. “A hundred and two?”
The lady boss punched numbers into her calculator, looked at the bill, then did the sums
over again for fear of collecting too little. Then she nodded and said, “Aye, that’s right.”
“Ji-ge!” The people at the neighboring table had also finished eating and now they all stood
up, applauding as they welcomed the newcomer. “You’re late! Finish these seven bottles!
They’ve been waiting for you for a long time and you have to drink them.”
The newcomer also wore the Information Technology school uniform, the gym clothes big
on him. Although he was tall, his looks were ordinary and one might not be able to pick him
out of a crowd. But he had one identifying feature: a scar at his forehead, running from his
hairline all the way down to his eyebrows.
“Ji-ge.” Shen Jie didn’t dare look up and whispered. “The one from Dian Ji who stabbed
someone?”
Shen Jie didn’t look up, so he hadn’t seen the strange expression on He Zhao’s face and how
he had been about to take some food but stilled his hand. Then He Zhao put his chopsticks
back on the table and didn’t continue eating.
Shen Jie was still murmuring: “I think I heard Wan Da talk about him when discussing the
top ten figures in Dian Ji. He’s quite formidable. He has at least seven underlings, and when
other people fight he squats on a trashcan lid to watch. That’s why he’s called Ji-ge.”¹
Before Shen Jie had finished speaking, he noticed that ‘one of the top ten figures in Dian Ji’
was now standing beside him and not moving. He suddenly froze, and shot a glance
downward through the space between his wrist and his elbow which was propped on the
table. He saw a pair of Nike tennis shoes. “……”
Shen Jie wondered if he had talked too loudly and been overheard, then started to think
about the three of them: with Zhao-ge and Big Bro Yu’s fighting skills, would they be able to
win this fight?
While he was still comparing tiers in his head, he heard Ji-ge say, “He Zhao?”
When Xie Yu had finished paying his bill and returned to the table, this was the scene he
saw:
The guy in the Dian Ji uniform had gotten a beer from someone and now stood opposite He
Zhao, holding the mouth of the bottle to the side of the table. He exerted force and the
bottlecap popped off and fell to the floor.
It rolled around twice on the ground, cleanly, then fell.
The person handed the bottle to He Zhao, his meaning unclear. “Give me some face?”
He Zhao didn’t take it. With a smile he said, “Old friend. We haven’t seen each other in three
years, so no need to be so enthusiastic.”
Neither had openly expressed enmity, and the challenge in their words could only be
discerned if one listened very closely. But Xie Yu leaned against the wall and watched for a
while. He could tell that He Zhao’s smile was put on, and very false.
“Ji-ge,” someone from the neighboring table asked. “What’s the matter? You know him?”
Then they started chattering. “Looking at the uniform he’s from Erzhong.”
While sitting at the table He Zhao had had his back toward them, and when he had walked
in they had been busy drinking and hadn’t paid attention. Now that they looked more
closely, one of them who was more familiar with Erzhong’s ‘famous figures’ was surprised.
“Damn it, isn’t this Erzhong’s He Zhao?”
As he finished, he lowered his voice and added, “…And the one over there, Xie Yu?”
Ji-ge didn’t keep pressing He Zhao to drink. He raised his head and drank it all himself.
Amidst applause and cheers he wiped his mouth with one hand, then raised the empty
bottle and said, “If you hadn’t mentioned it, I wouldn’t have remembered. Three years.
Time does pass really damn fast.”
Ji-ge took two steps forward. “Since you remember it so well, do you remember what I said
to you at that time? I said never show your face in front of me again. Remember?”
The atmosphere up to this point had been somewhat ambiguous, but now it was clear that
someone was trying to start a fight.
The eight or nine people at the other two tables weren’t content to just look on any more.
They stood up, the sound of their chairs scraping against the floor making an earsplitting
noise.
He Zhao placed one hand on the table; he still wore his ‘Love and Peace’ vest, but the words
seemed rather sarcastic under these circumstances. Just like the Black Water Street chat
group that sent messages like, ‘Fuck your mom, I’ll kill your whole family,’ all the time but
named their chatroom ‘Don’t fight.’
After a moment, He Zhao said, “Settle your fight with me. Let them leave first.”
Shen Jie was among the ‘them’ He Zhao was referring to. He still held his chopsticks, unsure
what to do. But even an idiot could tell that the atmosphere wasn’t right, so he put down his
chopsticks and said, “I’m not going anywhere. We’re bros, so how can I leave at this time?
Zhao-ge, there’s nothing to fear. We’ll meet them head on, and we have Old Xie here who
can take seven of them.”
If this were a different scenario, He Zhao would have patted his shoulder and said, “You call
him Old Xie, too?”
But He Zhao only said, “Head-on my ass. This has nothing to do with you. Leave now.”
“Bros?” Ji-ge laughed. The word seemed to have hit a nerve. His laughter was very
exaggerated; he clutched his stomach and bent over and didn’t stop for a long time. He
raised one hand to wipe tears from his eyes and said, “…Little friend, you treat him as a bro,
but do you know what your Zhao-ge’s best at?”
As Ji-ge spoke, his words slowed and eventually he paused for several seconds before
saying, “He’s best at stabbing his bros in the back.”
He Zhao said nothing.
Or it could be said that the whole restaurant suddenly fell into an inexplicable silence.
The two stood face to face. Clearly, something had happened here—a lot had happened
here and it looked quite exciting. Even Shen Jie couldn’t help trying to imagine: how had He
Zhao stabbed his bro in the back?
Xie Yu leaned against the wall, looking on as if watching a show. Then Shen Jie heard Old
Xie—Old Xie who had negative interest in gossip and who could take seven on in one go—
say lazily, “Don’t spout rubbish. I don’t want to hear it. Do you want to go one by one or all
at once?”
Ji-ge: “……”
So the fight happened after all. Xie Yu’s skill at provoking others was top notch.
No one was sure who flipped the table first, but the dishes and the beer bottles all shattered
on the ground.
Xie Yu fought with a chair. Seeing that Shen Jie was surrounded by three people, he finished
off his side of things in a few blows and let go of the chair, which crashed into the ground
with a bang. Then he kicked it over and it rammed into the three people’s calves.
This lot was terrible. No challenge at all. Only the girl among them was a little troublesome
—he couldn’t touch her, and on top of that he had to worry about accidentally injuring her.
The restaurant’s lady boss had dared open her shop near Dian Ji so she was clearly familiar
with the ways of the world. She didn’t turn a hair as she continued pressing keys on her
calculator by the counter, starting to tally up how much she would need to ask of them for
compensation.
He Zhao and Ji-ge went one-on-one. At first, He Zhao was clearly holding back and didn’t
retaliate, but Ji-ge was not about to let him off so easily. As if venting his frustration, each of
his blows was fiercer than the last.
He Zhao didn’t have the patience of a saint, either, and even he was a little annoyed after
several rounds. “Are you done?”
Ji-ge said something only the two of them could hear, and then He Zhao went all out with
his fists.
“You’re a damn fucking good-for-nothing, He Zhao.” Ji-ge took a fist to the stomach and fell
down. He caught himself on the back of a chair, then smiled, long and meaningful. “…You’re
in Erzhong now?”
He Zhao’s retaliatory punch seemed to have sapped all the strength from his body, and the
memories of the past that were screaming for attention in his mind now left him dazed.
A vein was throbbing at his temple.
He stood frozen to the spot for a long time until Xie Yu called, “Let’s go.”
On the way back, no one spoke.
Xie Yu really had no interest in this matter… or it shouldn’t be said that he had zero
interest. If He Zhao was willing to explain, then he would listen. If it were anyone else, he
probably wouldn’t even hear them out.
Xie Yu suddenly realized that He Zhao had become an exception to him at some point.
At the crossroads, Shen Jie had to say goodbye and broke the silence. He waved to them and
said, “I’ll go back. You be careful on the way home.”
“And your injuries?” He Zhao stuck his hands in his pockets as he stood under the
streetlight. “…How are you going to explain to your mom when you get home?”
Shen Jie touched the small scrape on his face. “It’s all right. I’ll say I fell.”
He Zhao took his hand out of his pocket and waved back. “Go home. And be careful.”
Xie Yu stared at He Zhao’s face in profile, a little dazed.
He Zhao was clearly emotionally a wreck, but he was still worrying about whether Shen Jie
would get yelled at when he got home.
Evening self-study was about to end so there was no point going back to class. If they got
caught they’d even get reprimanded for repeated offences. So the two of them went straight
back to the dorms. Before they entered the building, He Zhao suddenly said, “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“Just, today’s dinner.” He Zhao scratched his head. “How it turned out.”
By the time He Zhao got to his room door, he seemed to have calmed down to his normal
state, and even smiled as he told his little friend to rest early.
Xie Yu asked him, “You all right?”
At Xie Yu’s words, He Zhao was stunned for a moment, then he said, “Ah, I’m fine.”
It sounded like the truth.
If Xie Yu hadn’t gotten up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet and seen He Zhao
sitting in the stairwell smoking, he might even have believed it.
The handsome devil sat on the highest step, a cigarette hanging between his fingers. When
he took a drag, the light at the end of the cigarette suddenly flared, dancing in the darkness.
The motion sensor lights in the stairwell hadn’t come on, and the stairwell was lit only very
faintly by the lights from the corridor.
Then the handsome devil looked down and slowly exhaled a mouthful of smoke. His
movements were practiced, and when the cigarette was half gone he stubbed it out and
prepared to get up. When he looked up, he saw his cold little friend standing in the
stairwell entrance.
Translation notes:
[1] The ‘Ji’ in ‘Ji-ge’ is the second syllable in laji, the word for ‘trash’.

Chapter 042 - First place for sure.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
He Zhao held the half-cigarette between his fingers, the smell of smoke all around him. For
some reason, he felt as if he had been caught doing something bad. After a second of
silence, he said, “You haven’t been good… you’re not asleep yet?”
Probably because he had been smoking, He Zhao’s voice sounded very hoarse. Pitched low
and deep, even his tone descended as he spoke.
As he finished speaking, he let go and the cigarette fell onto the floor. Then he went quiet
again.
This was the first time Xie Yu was seeing He Zhao do this. Or, should he say, this was his
first time seeing He Zhao in this state.
When he met He Zhao, the idiot had already quit smoking. He ate lollipops all day and kept
the stick in his mouth. Now Xie Yu smelled the nicotine in the air and wondered, what had
the Big Bro of the East Building whose name struck fear into people’s hearts been like?
Had he been like this?
His spirits seemed low, but he still had a strong presence, even an air of tyranny. He
seemed a little tired, as if he was in a bad mood.
“I’m going to the bathroom.” Xie Yu used He Zhao’s excuse from before, but a stronger
version of it. He turned around and said, “You, damn it, stay right there and don’t go
anywhere.”
He Zhao made an “Ah” of acknowledgement. Only after Xie Yu had walked past him did he
wonder out loud, “Why did you come all this way to go to the bathroom?”
Everything else aside, Erzhong’s dormitories were famously good. All the dorm rooms had
their own thermostats and private bathrooms, and the rooms themselves were spacious.
Xie Yu’s voice came from far away. “Leaking pipe. Reported to maintenance.”
He Zhao sat on the stairs and didn’t move.
He had gone to bed very early. He had gone to his room, showered, and lain down, but then
he had jolted awake from a dream covered in a cold sweat. And then, on this beautiful
autumn night, he’d tossed and turned, unable to go back to sleep.
Ringing in his ears were the words Lei Jun had suddenly bent down and said into his ear at
the restaurant. “He Zhao, you left Erlei in such a state. Why haven’t you killed yourself?”
Even in his dreams he felt an invisible hand at his throat, choking him so he couldn’t say a
word.
He Zhao glanced down and toyed with the lighter in his hand. With a click, a small flame
shot out.
He released his thumb. The spot where his thumb pressed down felt slightly warm, like a
fire was burning upwards from his fingertips.
Lei Jun was now Ji-ge, a fourth-year at the Information Technology school. He had been
held back one year. He couldn’t be considered a school tyrant, but he’d attended the school
long enough that the previous Dian Ji ‘big bros’ had pretty much all left, so the burden now
fell to him.
Although they were enemies now, before… they had been as thick as thieves.
In junior high, He Zhao had been popular and made many friends, but had only a few close
friends. He had met Lei Jun at a concession stand where Lei Jun was drinking a bottle of
soda, as if it were alcohol, after going through a breakup. Another boy stood beside him,
consoling him. “Girls come and go, but I, your bro, will always be here.”
Lei Jun said, “Erlei, you like me? But I don’t like men.”
That was how they met.
Lei Jun and Fang Xiaolei both got such bad grades that the teachers stopped bothering
about them. As long as they weren’t a bad influence on the other students, the teachers
closed one eye and let things slide.
And He Zhao, at the start, had really been the hope of the village. He had been a promising,
exceptional student in everyone’s eyes.
Seeing a promising student like He Zhao get involved with two bad students, all the
teachers were heartbroken, especially his homeroom teacher. “Don’t associate with them
so much. You’re not the same as they are.”
How terrible could junior high students be? They hadn’t even begun to mix with the bad
side of society. Their grades were poor, that was all.
He Zhao always said, “Teacher, hypothetically speaking… if I were to go down the wrong
path, that’s no one’s fault but mine. And I’m doing all right now, aren’t I? Can you not be
prejudiced toward the other students?”
He Zhao thought about it, then he suddenly lay back, hands crossed behind his neck.
His clothes were thin, and he felt a cool breeze slip under the fabric at his lower back as he
moved.
He hadn’t been lying down for very long when Xie Yu finished washing his hands, crossed
the stairwell, and sat down next to him. “Got lollipops?”
He Zhao thought Xie Yu wanted one. “Pocket. There’s one left. Look for it.”
Seeing the handsome devil had no intention of moving, Xie Yu reached out to get it. “Which
side?”
He Zhao said, “The left, probably.”
He Zhao was wearing only a short-sleeved t-shirt on his upper body, clearly without any
pockets. Xie Yu reached halfway across He Zhao then paused.
He Zhao had remembered wrongly. He thought he was still wearing the ‘Love and Peace’
vest whose pocket he had stuffed a handful of lollipops into when he left his dorm room in
the morning. When Xie Yu’s hand lightly touched the top of his thigh through his pants, the
shock finally jolted his memory.
“……”
He Zhao wore a low-waisted pair of jeans. Black and frayed in places.
Xie Yu looked down, hands fumbling in He Zhao’s pockets for a long time. He didn’t find
anything, but he did feel the person next to him growing more rigid.
He Zhao couldn’t lie down any longer. He sat up, subconsciously catching Xie Yu’s wrist. His
skin was warm, and the jutting bone of his wrist landed in He Zhao’s palm.
He internally cursed.
“I remembered wrong,” He Zhao said. “No sweets, they’re all in my room. If you want one,
I…”
He Zhao didn’t finish before scrambling up from the floor, palms against the ground. Then
he walked down the stairs two at a time, skipping the last steps entirely and leaping onto
the landing, the hem of his shirt lifting in the wind.
As if he was flying.
Xie Yu sat on the stairs, internally wondering how mad this guy had gone this time.
After several minutes, He Zhao came back holding a metal can. Quite a big one. Even bigger
than the can Xie Yu had seen on his desk in his dorm room. He had probably brought his
entire stock with him.
An assortment of all kinds of flavors met Xie Yu’s eyes.
He Zhao took off the cover and handed it to Xie Yu. “Here.” Take all of them.
Xie Yu took the can, balancing it on his knees. He attentively sorted through them for a long
time before pulling out a strawberry-flavored one.
He Zhao just watched as his cold little friend unwrapped the lollipop. Then, unexpectedly,
he heard a word from Xie Yu’s lips. He even dragged out the sound. “Ahh.”
He Zhao: “Ah?”
He Zhao had just opened his mouth when Xie Yu stuffed the lollipop in, quickly and
accurately. The sweet and cloying taste spread on He Zhao’s tongue, washing away the
bitter taste of tobacco.
“Eat it, little friend.” Xie Yu seemed to be quite happy at finally being able to retaliate for the
nickname ‘little friend,’ his lips curving into a faint smile. But his tone was habitually chilly.
“And remember to brush your teeth when you’re done.”
He Zhao was stunned for a moment, only reacting when he heard the bit about brushing his
teeth. With the lollipop still in his mouth, he said, “You…”
He cut himself off halfway. “Forget it. I’ll let you win this once.”
When He Zhao had come back, the light turned on by the motion sensor had gone out again.
After a while, Xie Yu asked, “That piece of trash. Old friend of yours?”
“Ji-ge? His name is Lei Jun,” He Zhao said. “Junior high schoolmates. He’s not bad, but he and
I… have some history.”
I could tell.
Xie Yu thought, if it was over a stupid grudge, they wouldn’t have been able to leave so
easily. A fight is fair. You brawl and then you go your separate ways.
He’d seen many grudge-holders on Black Water Street; they wouldn’t leave you be, even
after you made phone calls to get your friends as back-up. Like a bad band-aid, they
couldn’t be ripped off without also losing some of your skin in the process.
Be more ruthless than them, or more stupid than them, and they’ll be afraid of you.
Xie Yu didn’t keep asking and He Zhao wasn’t sure what to say.
—Actually, I’m a supergenius. I’m faking my bad grades. If he said it, he’d probably be
beaten to death.
He Zhao thought about it and thought some more. As if possessed, words from the past
started echoing in his ears again.
“He Zhao, I’ll solve this problem for you. Just focus on preparing for exams and win glory
for the school.”
His homeroom teacher’s face was a little blurry in his mind, but she was clearly smiling. “I
understand you. I know you’re a good kid and this was an accident. Besides, you didn’t do it
on purpose… Don’t think about it too much.”
He Zhao slowly closed his eyes, then opened them again. Xie Yu was getting up, about to go
back to his dorm room to sleep.
He Zhao wasn’t sure what he was thinking when he reached out to catch them hem of Xie
Yu’s shirt. When he touched the soft material, he finally came back to his senses and let go.
Xie Yu hadn’t gotten stable footing on the stairs and now that He Zhao let go, he lost his
balance and grit out as he fell, “…He Zhao, are you goddamn sick or what?”
The next day.
Luo Wenqiang was gving pep talks to the participants who had yet to participate in any
events, and mentioned his hopes for the 3000m boys’ long distance event. He already
assumed that they had first and second place in the bag.
“This time, our class has got it for sure. We’re the best in the year, all right? Even though
our cultural quotient is negative, at least we’re good at gym! With Zhao-ge and Yu-ge…”
Before he finished, he saw He Zhao helping Xie Yu through the back door.
“…The two of you, uh, our two long distance runners.” Luo Wenqiang swallowed. “What
happened to you?”
A medicinal patch was stuck on Xie Yu’s ankle and his pant leg was folded up. He leaned
against He Zhao and pointed at him. “Ask him.”
“It really wasn’t on purpose.” He Zhao carefully held Xie Yu’s waist and said, “Does it hurt?
Do you want to go to the doctor’s office again? Or back to the dorm?”
Xie Yu said, “I want you to shut up.”
So He Zhao was the lone man standing for the long distance event.
As they carried chairs downstairs, Luo Wenqiang was still grieving. “I shouldn’t have joked
about it. What hopes of the whole village? Now he really is the village’s one and only hope.”
He Zhao carried one chair in each hand. He’d come back later to get his little friend, too.
Luo Wenqiang said, “Zhao-ge, tell me, can I believe in you, Zhao-ge?”
“First place, right? No problem.” When they got to the quad, He Zhao put the chairs down.
“Qiangqiang, rest assured. I’m not fighting alone. I still have the spirit of my deskmate with
me.”
“The remaining events for today are the long jump finals, the 100m finals, the boys’ 3000m
long distance, the 100m relay, and the group event, the tug-of-war…. And lastly, the
teachers’ 400m race.” Dean Jiang started his pep talk again. “Looking at everyone running
around on the quad, I feel very happy. This is how youths should be! Do your best,
athletes!”
Xie Yu sat in his seat, looking down at his phone. On his head lay the big jacket He Zhao had
forcibly put on his head, saying it was to block out the sun.
The 3000m long distance run was always the most anticipated and the longest in duration.
In a little while, He Zhao would have to go to the flagpoles to report in. Before he left, he
said very confidently, “You all can start thinking about what to say in the acceptance speech
when we win first place.”
Wan Da applauded. “First place for sure.”
Liu Cunhao said, “Impressive. We’re counting on you, Zhao-ge.”
Xie Yu kicked him with his uninjured leg. “Cut the crap and get lost.”
He Zhao went and the numbers 4286 on his back shone in the sunlight.
When He Zhao had gone, Luo Wenqiang and the others got together to discuss the script to
cheer for Class 3’s only long distance runner. They put their heads together and discussed it
for a while. Wan Da turned. “Yu-ge, take a look at this for us. Will this do?”
Xie Yu took it and found that it wasn’t any sort of encouraging script to be announced over
the intercom, but the prize acceptance script He Zhao had requested.
On it was Liu Cunhao’s handwriting, leaning in all directions.
Victory to Zhao-ge and to Class 3. Thank you to the other participants for participating in
the long distance event. Very regretfully, and very helplessly, you only turned out to be
small supporting actors with no speaking lines in this wonderful drama.
“……”
Liu Cunhao blinked and asked, “How about that! Talented, aren’t I.”
“Thick-skinned and shameless. After the sports meet, someone might put a sack over your
head and beat you up.” Xie Yu paused, then continued, “But your Zhao-ge will definitely like
it.”
Chapter 043 - Cause of death: acting too much.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Liu Cunhao and the others happily submitted the speech for announcement. On the way
back, they yelled to He Zhao across the track. “Zhao-ge, do your best! We have a surprise for
you!”
Not many people had signed up for the long distance event. There were only one or two
from each class, and all of them had been forced to join. No one really wanted to run that
many laps. For the shorter-distance events, they could sprint and show off, but for the
3000m event, all they could show off was how to pant heavily and suffer a fate worse than
death.
He Zhao stood at the back of the line, the most eye-catching of the lot.
Hearing someone call his name, He Zhao turned around and made a ‘No problem’ handsign,
then raised his voice. “Friend, tell me the secret?”
“Very secret.” Wan Da wagged a finger. “At that time, you’ll know.”
Luo Wenqiang followed up, “Don’t forget! You’re carrying Yu-ge’s spirit, too!”
He Zhao stood in place. He watchedenthusiastic, energetic classmates returning to their
assigned seats, then looked away from them, his gaze landing on someone in the last row.
Xie Yu was looking down at his phone, refreshing his social media feed. He tapped ‘like’ a
few times, which Dalei immediately screenshotted and sent to the ‘Don’t fight’ group, along
with the caption, Missing person @xy, good to see you.
Only now did Xie Yu discover he hadn’t posted a status update in a long time.
He wasn’t in the habit of recording his life, but now there were all sorts of background
noises making a ruckus all around him. Each class cheered on their representatives, some
screaming, some consoling: “It’s all right. You already did very well. The important part is
participating…”
Xie Yu opened his camera app, about to take a picture for participation’s sake, but when he
raised his camera and adjusted the angle, he discovered in the frame a certain handsome
devil, surname He, first name Zhao. “……”
The handsome devil was exaggerating his movements and his expression. He faced the
camera, right hand tugging at his collar and a smile on his lips, very obviously posing for
the camera, both confident and cool.
He was clearly an old hand at posing.
Xie Yu’s finger slipped and he nearly closed out of the app.
What a madman.
So many tricks up his sleeve.
…Who the hell wants to take your picture?
Xie Yu resisted the impulse to throw his phone, but seeing He Zhao hold his pose for half a
minute without moving—that endurance was impressive—he hit the camera button after
all.
Terrified that He Zhao would get hooked on having his picture taken and pose several more
times, Xie Yu stuffed his phone back in his pocket the moment he finished.
After a while, when He Zhao was getting in line on the track, Xie Yu took his phone out
again and unlocked it. On the screen was the photograph from before.
With the light shining at their backs, the human subjects were slightly cast in shadow, but
the youth in the center was still radiant and eye-catching.
“Men’s 3000m, prepare—”
A gunshot heralded the beginning of the 3000m event.
The dozen or so participants had their toes on the white line, and at the sound of the gun,
they dashed forth.
“I’m not worried about everyone else, but in the class next door there’s a guy with damn
good stamina. He represented the school before. That one, number five.” Luo Wenqiang
stuck his head out and looked around, seeming a little worried. “…Why is Zhao-ge running
so quickly at the start? Pace yourself.”
Wan Da: “Gym rep, let’s think of it a different way. He’s strong.”
“Strong my ass.” Xie Yu had finished looking through his friend group on the chat and
caught the tail end of Wan Da’s words. He looked up and said, “He’s attention-seeking.”
Liu Cunhao applauded and said, “Can’t deny that.”
He Zhao ran in front, a full half-lap in front of the other runners. The eyes of the entire
school were on him as he lapped the quad.
Several girls from the neighboring class were chattering. “Really, only 3000m? I want to see
him run a few more laps. So cool.”
Xie Yu leaned back and narrowed his eyes. For some reason he was frustrated.
…What was there to look at, anyway?
“He’s coming, he’s coming!” Luo Wenqiang had brought a stool to sit right behind Xie Yu,
and every time he saw He Zhao coming their way, he led the class in a group cheer to cheer
him on. He was so excited he couldn’t even sit properly on the stool; he hovered in a half-
squat over it and counted backwards. “Three, two, one. Do it neatly! Shout out the energy of
our whole class!”
When He Zhao was nearing them, Luo Wenqiang led them in a cheer. “Class 3’s the best!
Zhao-ge beats the rest!”
Repeated three whole times.
When He Zhao passed by Class 3 he slowed his pace and caught hold of the hem of his vest.
He was probably feeling warm after having run four laps. As he ran he took off the vest, and
the girls in the audience stand started aah-ing again.
When He Zhao was done stripping he yelled, “Old Xie!”
Before Xie Yu could react, He Zhao had already tossed the article of clothing in his direction,
as if passing a ball. It landed right by Xie Yu’s feet and He Zhao said as he used his thin inner
shirt to mop at his sweat, “Keep that for me.”
The jacket still held the lingering warmth of his body and the faint scent of detergent.
Xie Yu held on to He Zhao’s jacket. When there was one lap left in the 3000m event, Class
3’s announcement was finally picked out of the pile. Perhaps the broadcasters had finally
run out of announcements and were forced to read this terrible submission.
“Announcement from Class 2.3. Victory to Zhao-ge, to Class 3.”
The announcer was a senior girl from the school committee, with a lively voice and crisp
enunciation, who was deliberately imitating a news broadcaster. She read this far, then
stopped. A few seconds later she continued, hesitantly. “Thank you to the other participants
for participating. Very regretfully, uh, and very helplessly…”
By the time she had finished reading, the whole stadium was quiet.
At the words ‘small supporting role’ He Zhao stopped dead, about 100m from the finish
line. Very obviously the manner a winner. Playing along with Class 3’s announcement, he
waved to the audience in apology.
Clearly seeking attention again.
He Zhao was a full half lap ahead of second place anyway, so Liu Cunhao and the others
played along with He Zhao’s act.
So the eyes of the whole school were on He Zhao as he stopped before the finish line, hands
on his knees as he panted for breath and asked in a hoarse voice, “Who’s first place?”
The students of Class 3 yelled, “—He Zhao!”
“Louder?”
“He Zhao!”
“……”
He Zhao was clearly very immersed in this act and had dragged all of Class 2.3 along with
him. The tackiness was thick in the air and he was so confident it was almost blinding.
Out of secondhand embarrassment, Xie Yu couldn’t keep watching. He looked down at the
photo editor on his phone, adjusting the brightness of the photo he had taken just now.
When he looked up again, the long distance runner from the neighboring class was taking
advantage of the opportunity while Class 2.3 was posturing wildly to speed up and bypass
the drama king without a sound, dashing toward the finish line. “……”
Class 2.3 didn’t win first place, but they made their name in the history books of Liyang
Erzhong for absolutely unbelievable embarrassment.
Xie Yu glanced at his seat, then at the distance to the neighboring class, and thought very
hard about moving his seat closer to them… he really couldn’t bear the embarrassment of
that person.
Class 3’s homeroom teacher was a little more open-minded. Throughout the sequence of
events, Tang Sen maintained a smile. “Interesting. Young people are so interesting.”
The few classmates who’d most ardently played along now sat in their seats, bent double at
the waist, faces buried in their knees as they tried to hide.
“What does he mean ‘interesting,’” Luo Wenqiang said, hands over his head. “Damn it, this
is so embarrassing.”
Wan Da’s muffled voice came, “So embarrassing I could die.”
Liu Cunhao said, “Stop talking about it. I’m already dead.”
He Zhao went to the bathroom to wash his face. Since he had perspired so much, he
splashed cool water over his head, too, and the water flowed downwards over his neck. By
the time he came back, his collar was soaked through. He sat down and said, “Listen to me.
That was an accident. My real skills…”
Xie Yu grabbed a bottle of mineral water and chucked it at He Zhao. “Attention-seeking
skills?”
He Zhao grabbed the bottle and gulped half of it down at once, then continued, “That really
was an accident. I’m really very good. Did you see how I was ahead by half a lap? I left
everyone else in the dust.”
“Big bro flirt,” Xie Yu said, “Can you shut up?”
The last event was the teachers’ race.
Everyone was here to watch the show. After all, during the day-to-day, they only saw the
teachers at the podium delivering lectures.
“This counts towards class points, right?” He Zhao twisted the bottle closed and moved
closer to Xie Yu. “If Old Tang gets first place, our class might…” …Might still be salvageable.
Xie Yu said, “Think about how Old Wu played soccer. Use that as reference.”
“……” He Zhao changed his mind. “Forget it. Pretend I said nothing.”
Class 2.3 didn’t hold any groundless hopes for Tang Sen.
By the time the other teachers finished the 400m race, their Old Tang had only run halfway;
no one thought this was anything out of the ordinary.
Awkwardness was quick to come and quick to go. Especially for He Zhao, who hadn’t the
slightest notion of shame: he led the whole class in selective amnesia and started madly
cheering for Old Tang. “Do your best! Finishing is winning!”
Old Tang didn’t let everyone’s hopes down either. He solidly occupied last place.
Close to dismissal time, all the events had ended.
Liu Cunhao got up and yelled, “Everyone clean up your trash,” and Luo Wenqiang reminded
everyone to return the number tags and safety pins to him.
All around was the sound of the various classes dragging their chairs back to the
classrooms.
The word ‘dismissed’ often gives people a very strong surreal feeling. Xie Yu sat in his seat
and watched the crowd disperse around him, the chairs also being cleared.
The sports meet seemed to have just begun, or perhaps like it had never happened at all.
While he was in a daze, He Zhao patted the back of his head.
“Let’s go, little friend.” He Zhao carried his chair under one arm, the other hand held out to
Xie Yu. “Let’s go back to class.”
“Actually, we did pretty well. Third or fourth place,” Luo Wenqiang said as he collected the
tags in the classroom. “Ah, when I got back, next door’s class rep laughed at me. Said, ‘First
place, right?’”
The sports meet had ended and now, mentioning this event only made everyone want to
laugh. Someone took the lead, then the whole class began to laugh.
He Zhao couldn’t restrain himself, either. He held one hand to his mouth, leaned backwards,
and laughed for a long time.
Wan Da had already begun recounting the event as if it were ancient history. “At that time…
my god, I don’t even dare remember it. I really—I was so overcome with emotion. I closed
my eyes and yelled ‘Zhao-ge the Winner,’ but when I opened my eyes, that guy from next
door had already dashed past the finish line…”
Xie Yu held in his laughter and looked down, copying the work, but his handwriting was a
little shaky.
Dean Jiang heard the noise and came over. He Zhao glimpsed his face, expression grave and
gaze sharp, through the window, and quickly caught hold of Xie Yu’s hand, stuffing both his
hand and the workbook under the desk. “Mad Dog.”
Mad Dog walked in and made several rounds of the classroom. “I knew you couldn’t
restrain yourselves. When it’s time to play, you can play, but when it’s time to be serious,
you have to be serious. Really, no self-control at all. Discipline, it’s a discipline problem.
How many times have I said it? Are you really that happy? If you’re that happy then tell me
about it. Let me be happy too.”
Both Xie Yu’s hand and his workbook were kept under the desk by He Zhao’s hand. The
whole class was sitting still, unmoving, and Mad Dog was in the area so He Zhao couldn’t
move for the time being, either.
Xie Yu had his palm on the workbook and the cool steel surface of the desk, but the back of
his hand was burning.
Both of them were wearing unnatural expressions. Or perhaps Mad Dog had finally noticed
that the two students in the last row had their hands stacked together under the desk doing
who knows what.
Mad Dog stopped his spiel about discipline. “The two of you, what are you doing?”
Who knew what He Zhao was thinking. To cover up for his deskmate copying homework,
he brought their linked hands from under the table to the surface. Under the eyes of the
curious audience, he said, “We’re… holding hands.”
“……”

Chapter 044 - Holding hands

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The classroom went completely quiet.
In his more than ten years of teaching, Mad Dog had never met a student like this. These
two were obviously up to something more than just holding hands, but he had been
temporarily stunned by He Zhao’s antics and didn’t have the presence of mind to check the
interior of the desk. “…You two. All right. Sure. Holding hands, are you.”
He Zhao’s lips moved—he might have intended to follow up with something even more
shameless.
While Mad Dog was distracted, Xie Yu stepped on He Zhao’s foot. This action was
completely merciless and He Zhao was in so much pain his hand subconsciously tightened
around Xie Yu’s. He said, in pain, “Cripple, you’re so vicious?”
Xie Yu whispered, “If my leg wasn’t goddamn injured, you wouldn’t even be here right
now.”
Mad Dog didn’t hear what they were saying and only observed that not only were these two
male students still holding hands, their grip grew tighter and tighter.
Obviously posturing in front of him.
He felt that his authority as discipline head was being held in contempt.
“Since you like holding hands so much, then keep holding hands! Until class is dismissed!”
Mad Dog’s chest was heaving. These two had greatly angered him. In order to salvage his
authority, he turned to the other students and said, “You all watch them carefully. Until the
dismissal bell rings, they’re not allowed to let go. I’ll come back later to check.”
He Zhao: “……”
Xie Yu: “……”
The other students, upon whom had been placed a great responsibility: “……”
When Mad Dog left, Liu Cunhao poked Wan Da and asked hesitantly, “Do we… really have
to watch them?”
Mad Dog often came up with creative and arcane methods of punishment. Once, when Liu
Cunhao had been late, he had climbed over the wall to school—he had heard from other
students that it was an easy feat, so he had plucked up his courage and climbed. But on the
other side was Mad Dog, eating breakfast and drinking soymilk. Liu Cunhao had been
caught and made to climb the wall back and forth over twenty times.
But this was too bizarre, surely… how could they keep watch, of two people holding hands
at that?
Compared to Liu Cunhao, Wan Da was much calmer. He serenely flipped open his English
book and said, “Actually, I think we probably don’t need to watch them.”
In the last row.
Although Xie Yu couldn’t use one of his legs, his battle prowess was still frightening. The
moment Mad Dog set one foot out the door, Class 3 immediately grew raucous. Xie Yu and
He Zhao had both flipped their chairs and fallen onto the floor. Passersby who didn’t know
what had transpired would have been shocked.
“Old Xie, you can hit me, it’s fine,” He Zhao said as he dodged. “But we have to think of our
classmates. If Mad Dog comes back to check on us, we can’t implicate them… Do you
understand what I’m saying?”
Regardless of how angry Xie Yu was, He Zhao didn’t let go of his hand the entire time. Xie
Yu couldn’t shake him off if he tried. He was so annoyed his head hurt. “Understand, my
ass.”
At first, Liu Cunhao hadn’t understood what Wan Da had meant by saying, “We don’t need
to keep watch.”
Now, after having observed for a little while, he finally understood. He patted Wan Da’s
shoulder and said, “You’re really impressive… your predictions are as accurate as a seer’s.”
Wan Da cupped a fist in salute. “High praise, high praise. I just know too much.”
The fight didn’t last long.
He Zhao was focused on supporting the little cripple, worried that he’d lose his footing and
fall.
He Zhao was dressed lightly today. His back was to the wall, one hand still gripping Xie
Yu’s, the other holding Xie Yu’s waist. He looked down and said, “All right, all right. Don’t
move too much. I won’t dodge. Hit me as much as you want.”
His tone was really as if he was coaxing a child.
Then, as He Zhao had wished, he took a solid beating.
“Now let us enter Class 2.3. I am your most beloved class rep…” During the two days of the
sports meet, Liu Cunhao had brought his camera from home and taken many photos and
videos. Now he started the footage rolling on himself, then turned the camera to face the
class, sweeping its lens from left to right before stopping on the corner of the last row. “…In
the corner, our Zhao-ge, being awarded his daily beating.”
Liu Cunhao hadn’t been recording for very long when Wan Da suddenly came close,
occupying the whole viewport with his face. “Hello, everybody…”
Wan Da had just begun when Liu Cunhao pushed his head to one side dismissively. “Get out
of the way and chill.”
There were still more than ten minutes left to the dismissal bell.
The subject teachers each came around to assign homework, and the assignments filled up
half the blackboard. It washed away the wild, free atmosphere of the two days of no classes
during the sports meet.
“There’s so much.”
“This is too much homework, surely…”
The English teacher finished writing, put the chalk back in the box, then clapped her hands
to dust off the chalk. She said, “I want you all to wake up. You’ve played too much.”
She gave a few more reminders, then turned to go back to the faculty office. Before leaving,
she suddenly remembered that one student still hadn’t turned in the mock paper she had
assigned two days ago. So she stopped again and asked from the doorway, “He Zhao, where
is your homework?”
He Zhao raised his voice. “I need a little more time.”
The English teacher was about to say, Then I might as well stop teaching, but then she
caught sight of He Zhao and Xie Yu holding hands. “…What are you doing?”
Xie Yu’s expression was blank. He coughed once and He Zhao, reading the mood, didn’t say
anything.
In the end it was Liu Cunhao who said, “Teacher, the two of them are… holding hands. Dean
Jiang said they must hold hands until the end of class.”
The English teacher asked, “What are you doing? Being affectionate?”
“Right, right, right. Demonstrating our class team spirit and love for each other.”
Although He Zhao was very susceptible to a soft touch and usually folded so quickly he
could hardly keep his dignity intact, he was still very stubborn on the subject of holding
hands and wouldn’t let go no matter what.
Xie Yu was thoroughly defeated. “Mad Dog isn’t around.”
“He comes and goes like a phantom,” He Zhao said. “We have to be ready at all times.”
After a while, Xie Yu moved his hand. “I need to copy homework,” he said, looking for an
excuse. “Let go. I haven’t finished yesterday’s homework.”
Xie Yu sat on the left and had his right hand held. He couldn’t write with his left hand.
But He Zhao took the opportunity to demonstrate a principle to him: You have no idea how
shameless Big Bro Flirt can be when he wants to!
“I’ll swap seats with you,” He Zhao said. “Sit in my seat.”
In the end, they really did swap seats.
Xie Yu sat in He Zhao’s seat, pen in hand, copying Wan Da’s homework. When he finished
the first question, he discovered that he had copied the wrong answer.
He Zhao sat to the other side, tapping at his phone with his left hand.
Neither of them spoke.
But the atmosphere… the atmosphere was very strange.
The background noise of the classroom seemed to grow farther and farther away. Xie Yu
felt his hand grow warmer and warmer in He Zhao’s. One of them had started sweating and
the sensation was clammy.
Xie Yu looked at the question he had copied wrong, remained stunned for a long time, then
closed the exercise book.
He Zhao didn’t do much better. The game interface was on his phone screen but his avatar
died less than ten seconds after the game began, and then he stayed on the game over
screen and didn’t do anything.
Shen Jie was in a team with He Zhao. Seeing that He Zhao had been killed, he sent a few
private messages. Zhao-ge, why are you playing so badly today? Leaving me to face this
dangerous world alone? Ah? You’re too cruel.
Never had ten minutes felt this arduous. But when the dismissal bell rang, He Zhao felt that
the ten minutes had been a really goddamn short time.
He Zhao studied his palm for a long time and when he looked up again, his deskmate had
already reached the classroom’s rear door using the wall as support. “Where are you
going?”
Xie Yu said, “Bathroom.”
The moment He Zhao said “I’ll”—the words ‘go with you’ hadn’t even left his mouth—Xie
Yu cut him off. “No need.”
As chilly as usual.
He Zhao sat with one leg on his seat and asked, “Will you have problems peeing?”
Xie Yu answered, “Why, you want to hold it for me?”
“……”
Neither of them were in the habit of thinking very much before they spoke and only after
the words had been said did they think them a little strange.
Who knew what He Zhao was thinking of—suddenly, his throat felt dry. He opened his
mouth but it was a long time before he said, “Then… then you go.”
A moment later, He Zhao exited the game and opened QQ. He considered the long string of
‘Aaaaa’ on his mood message for a long time, tapped it to edit it, and then added a few more
‘a’s at the end.
He posted it.
After posting the mood message, He Zhao went back to his friends list. He found a little red
dot on the messages tab, tapped on it, and a notification popped up.
——“Your Grandpa Jun” sent you a friend request.
He Zhao’s finger stilled on the screen.
After going to the bathroom, Xie Yu went to the cafeteria to eat. His foot wasn’t so badly
injured he couldn’t walk, he just moved a little slowly. In the short run, he didn’t want to
see He Zhao’s face. It annoyed him. He couldn’t say exactly how it annoyed him, but it
annoyed him so much he wanted to beat somebody up.
Fearing for He Zhao’s life, Xie Yu went downstairs.
When he returned, He Zhao’s seat was empty.
“Zhao-ge got a call and left.” Wan Da came back early, a cup of Fudan milk tea in his hands.
Seeing Xie Yu glance twice more at He Zhao’s empty seat, he explained, “He said he left a
note for you.”
Xie Yu glanced over the desk twice. There really was a note stuck under one corner of a
textbook.
Wan Da heard their Class 2.3’s Big Bro Xie Yu say, “None of my business,” then pull out the
note and stare at it for a long time.
“What does it say?” Wan Da went over and asked.
Xie Yu put down the note and thought, A goddamn note like this, you might as well not have
left anything.
Seeing that Wan Da was genuinely curious, Xie Yu folded up the note and said, “I don’t
know. Couldn’t read it.”
Wan Da: “……”
Xie Yu couldn’t hold himself back and added, “What the hell.”
Your Grandpa Jun was Lei Jun’s online handle, a username he had used to make waves all
over the internet. In so many years, he hadn’t changed it.
At that time, when Erlei had withdrawn from school, Lei Jun had blocked him on all social
media, and then they didn’t talk for three years.
After adding him as a friend, Lei Jun sent a text. What’s your phone number?
Then came a phone call.
“I’ll wait at your school’s back gate. The very broken-down one.” Lei Jun was probably
smoking. He was breathing hard and his voice was rough. “Come out.”
Erzhong had two back gates. One was locked year-round, in a desolate location, and had
started to rust.
Since he said ‘very broken-down,’ this should be the place.
Lei Jun had come alone.
He squatted at the back gate. Seeing He Zhao come over, he pressed his cigarette into the
ground and twisted it twice, extinguishing it.
He Zhao walked closer and asked, “Why here?”
He couldn’t get out and Lei Jun couldn’t get in. It wasn’t conducive to a fight.
Lei Jun was still squatting on the ground. His eyes were slightly bloodshot as he looked
through the metal gate at He Zhao. He said, “I’m not looking for a fight. I’ll ask you two
questions and I’ll go.”
Then Lei Jun asked the first question. “Why did you come to Erzhong?”
He Zhao felt it hard to move, and didn’t say anything for a long time.
Lei Jun looked down and ran his hand through his hair, then pressed the cigarette butt into
the floor again. He asked, “You’re… a second year in high school?”
He Zhao didn’t stay silent any more, and made an “Mm” of assent.

Chapter 045 - Cripple, jump.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“You think that with this, you think…” Lei Jun didn’t finish. He pulled out a carton of
cigarettes from his pocket, took out a stick, lit it, then cursed, “Fuck.”
Lei Jun squatted and smoked the cigarette. After a while, he stood up and said, “What is
this? To feel better about yourself? Don’t goddamn bother doing useless things… No use. I
can’t let this go and I’m not letting this go. Don’t show your face in front of me again. Go
around if you have to. I’m worried I won’t be able to stop myself from getting someone to
beat you until you’re crippled.”
He Zhao wanted to say it wasn’t like that, but the words only made several rounds in his
head and he couldn’t spit them out.
Lei Jun didn’t intend to keep talking, either. When he was done, he dusted his pants off and
left.
He Zhao didn’t go straight back to the classroom. He went up to the sixth floor—the door to
the rooftop was locked, but it was easily opened with a pin. Who knew what kind of
locksmith had come up with this.
He pushed open the door and walked out. The wind on the roof was strong and blew his
hair into a mess, and also brought him to his senses.
People would occasionally go up on the roof and in the corner were piled several crushed
beer cans as evidence. A gust of wind rose, and the cans made a racket as they rolled
around.
He Zhao lay on the roof, eyes fixed unblinkingly above him. He seemed to be seeing himself
from the third year of junior high, and the strong, determined Fang Xiaolei, too.
“Nobody’s in the chem lab at this time, for sure.”
“Zhao-ge, didn’t the teacher say this experiment was very dangerous? If we slip in like
that…”
“I’ve memorized all the steps from the video. It’ll be fine.”
“Where did you get the key?”
“Stole it.”
Many sounds circled by his ear, dragging him down into a bottomless depth.
Thick black smoke, choking him and making it hard to breathe.
The fire truck siren.
The frightened tone of the security guard who had placed the phone call.
And lastly, the stern voice of the woman interrogating them. “Who allowed you to go in and
do experiments on your own? Miss Liu was in the adjoining office and we almost couldn’t
save her. Who’ll take responsibility?!”
The matter blew up: a student had stolen the lab key and done chemistry experiments on
their own. An accident had happened and someone had nearly died.
De Yu Middle School kept a tight watch on their chemistry lab and there was a small
adjoining room that served as an office for the teacher on duty. Miss Liu had happened to
be on duty that day, and who would have thought that she was still there after hours. She
had worked too hard and fallen asleep at her desk.
If not for the security guard who had told them he hadn’t seen Miss Liu leave through the
school gates, they might not have even known someone was still there.
“What on earth happened? Fang Xiaolei, if you won’t explain, then He Zhao, you explain.”
“I stole the key.” He Zhao heard his own voice. Even though this matter had also thrown
him off balance, he still admitted the truth. “I did the experiment. I made him go along with
me and it has nothing to do with him.”
The woman sat in her seat, a red pen in her hand. Her thumb pushed at the pen cap and
after a long time, she calmed down enough to pinch her forehead and say, “I understand.
You two go back to class first… don’t tell anyone about this. No matter who asks, don’t say
anything.”
Even while walking out of the office, Fang Xiaolei was trembling from fear.
“Teach said she’d think of a way.” He Zhao patted Erlei’s head and said, “This has nothing to
do with you. If someone’s getting punished, it’ll be me.”
At the time, He Zhao hadn’t been aware of what the homeroom teacher was thinking. Her
‘way out’ was to get rid of the bad student and keep the good one—Fang Xiaolei was
ordered to withdraw from school.
With Fang Xiaolei’s grades, he would never make it to high school. Instead of dragging
down the graduation rate, they might as well conveniently get rid of him.
The high school exams were approaching. By the time he found out, nothing could be done.
He Zhao couldn’t get in touch with Erlei; they said he had gone back to his hometown. The
teacher had banked on the thought that Erlei’s family had no hopes for their child and
would be happier if he learned a trade and started making money early.
The school’s stance on the matter was the same as the homeroom teacher’s. To send a
withdrawal notice and then rescind it would be to slap themselves in the face.
He Zhao, the one who should have withdrawn from school, was told by everyone to stay.
And the one who shouldn’t have withdrawn from school had left instead.
“He Zhao, here is a mock exam paper. Do it, then bring it over and I’ll correct it for you,” the
woman said with a smile. “The high school exams are coming up. Just focus on studying.”
At this point, He Zhao felt nauseated. He pulled himself into a sitting position, a sorry figure,
and dragged his hands over his face.
Not long before this, Fang Xiaolei had often come over to ask him about study questions. He
had a book in his hand all day, which had left Lei Jun stunned.
Fang Xiaolei said, “I want to study hard. I can’t keep playing like this.”
Lei Jun patted his head. “Heyo, Erlei, you’re doing well. Which school will you apply to?”
“Heh heh… I want to get into Erzhong.”
“Because the grade cutoff is lowest?”
To assuage my guilt? He Zhao asked himself.
He had given up on the high school exams and dropped out for a year. Then he had come to
Erzhong and placed last in every exam… was it for this?
It seemed not.
These things were ridiculous and so many ‘why’s loomed over him. He wasn’t sure what
answers he was searching for, either.
He Zhao didn’t return to the classroom until evening self-study let out.
When the dismissal bell rang, Wan Da and the others cheered, then went downstairs in
twos and threes with their backpacks. “Come to my room tonight to watch a movie? I
downloaded it at home. Sci-fi action movie. I heard it’s wicked cool and awesome…”
Halfway through, Wan Da turned and asked, “Yu-ge, coming?”
Xie Yu said, “Not coming.” Forget the movie, he still had two mock exam papers to do.
After showering, Xie Yu picked out several midterm exams from A City’s premier high
school. He planned to do them ahead of schedule—although there was a lot of content not
yet covered in class, he had quietly read ahead in his textbook during class time and had
more or less mastered the content.
Questions of this difficulty shouldn’t pose a problem.
Xie Yu held the pen in his hand but couldn’t focus while doing the questions.
He Zhao had been about to turn off his phone when he received the text from Xie Yu.
The ‘short message’¹ really was short. Three words. Where are you?
He Zhao was about to pretend he hadn’t seen it, but when he touched the screen his fingers
seemed to have a mind of their own. He replied with two words: Internet café.
Explosion Bar?
There were several internet cafés near school and Explosion Bar was the most well-known
of these. It protected its customers well: when teachers came by the café for inspection,
they’d send emergency messages to their customers.
All the employees at the café were acquainted with the teachers who came to check the
most, especially Dean Jiang. The moment they encountered Mad Dog, they sent out the
highest-level emergency alert.
Their mission was to give high school students a safe and reliable online environment.
Xie Yu rarely went to these underground internet cafés. He didn’t like the stuffy, dark
atmosphere, or the delinquent youth that sat there, cigarettes in their mouths, long bangs
hiding melancholy eyes.
When Xie Yu climbed the wall to leave, he suddenly couldn’t understand himself… or what
on earth he was doing.
Night had fully fallen and only streetlights lit the road. Trees rustled in the wind.
A cold breeze slipped under the hem of his shirt. Xie Yu was about to jump down from the
wall when he heard a nearby voice say, “You really don’t want your legs any more, do you?
You’re quite resilient. You even climbed the wall with your leg like that.”
He Zhao walked over from the opposite side of the road. It was dark and Xie Yu couldn’t
make out his expression. He slowly walked over to stand at the base of the wall and said,
“What are you coming out for?”
Xie Yu said, “MMOs.”
With Xie Yu’s usual performance, this reason was entirely plausible. The second-to-last in
the year, suffering from insomnia, slipping out of school to hang out at an internet café.
Very normal.
He Zhao didn’t let him jump down directly and prepared to catch him at the bottom.
“Cripple,” He Zhao said, opening his arms and looking up at Xie Yu. “Jump.”
Xie Yu said, “You’re the goddamn cripple.”
Explosion Bar was located opposite the Gold List restaurant. The entrance was beside a
clothing store, up a flight of stairs, on the second floor.
A certain delinquent surnamed He had earphones hanging around his neck, fingers tapping
away at the keyboard. Others had cigarettes in their mouths—he had a lollipop.
He still wore his school uniform; he hadn’t changed.
It was late at night and there were many people in Explosion Bar. Several looked familiar
and Xie Yu thought for a long time before remembering that he had met them in the last
exam group at the monthly exams.
He Zhao wasn’t sure what games he wanted to play, either. He clicked on an icon that
caught his eye and was half-heartedly playing it when a hand came into view, index finger
crooked, and tapped on the table in front of him.
He Zhao glanced over and saw his little friend in a white vest, hair still damp. “You come
here and stay overnight often?”
“Not that often,” He Zhao said. “A few times… a month.”
Xie Yu nodded, thinking he had gained another insight into the world of a bad student. He
had never thought about this aspect of it before. Then he looked down and tapped a line
into his notes app: Spend the night at an internet café, twice a month.
The two found teams and went a few rounds in the game. By the end, Xie Yu was so tired he
lay down at his seat and slept.
He Zhao took off his headphones and didn’t keep playing. He turned and watched his
deskmate for a long time.
The lighting in the internet café was bad, and fell on Xie Yu’s face alongside the glow of the
monitor.
He Zhao stared at him for a while, unable to avert his eyes, and crunched the lollipop in his
mouth to pieces.
The next day, He Zhao and Xie Yu both wore dark circles to class.
“What happened to the two of you?” Wan Da tsked in wonder. “What were you doing last
night? Or did our study rep drive you so hard you have dark circles under your eyes?”
Xue Xisheng had not given up. Post-it notes of all kinds with various formulas and
vocabulary words written on them would often appear on He Zhao and Xie Yu’s desks,
alongside some quotes that could have come out of Chicken Soup for the Soul. If you don’t
work hard when you’re young, you’ll regret it when you’re old… Lifelong learning. Go for it!
You’re just a step away from success.
If Xue Xisheng had come from a well-off family, he might even have bought supplementary
study materials for them.
He Zhao lay down at his desk the moment he sat down. “No. Stayed up all night at an
internet café.”
Wan Da asked, “Yu-ge, too? Why didn’t you both come watch the movie with us yesterday?”
“What movie.” He Zhao had a headache from staying up all night and who knew what he
was thinking. “My deskmate isn’t that kind of person. Don’t lead him astray.”
Translation notes:
[1] The word for text message is ‘short message’.

Chapter 046 - Want to hug you.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The note He Zhao had left was still on the desk. During evening self-study last night, Wan
Da had passed it around the class, and all the live-in students had indicated that they
couldn’t decipher anything. After a round of guessing, not only could they not tell how
many words there actually were on the note, some even thought they were bone script.¹
Compared to this, He Zhao’s exam handwriting could be considered meticulous. At least it
was only ugly, it couldn’t be mistaken for bone script.
Xie Yu saw it and suddenly remembered, then tossed the wad at He Zhao. “What the hell
did you write on this?”
He Zhao smoothed out the note and glanced at it. “Not coming back to evening self-study,”
he read out, then added, “You couldn’t read it?”
“……” Xie Yu really wanted to shove the paper in his face.
He Zhao admired the note a little longer. “How come you couldn’t read it? I wrote it very
attentively. Look at these words…”
Xie Yu was terrified He Zhao would start up with an expansive analyses of his artistic
aptitude again and said, “All right, shut up.”

Aside from mustering up a little energy when talking to Xie Yu, He Zhao either slept or was
on his phone all morning. Old Tang made him go up to answer a question and all he said
was, “I don’t know.”
“What’s up with Zhao-ge today?” Liu Cunhao and the others all looked forward to hearing
He Zhao answer questions: he always came up with unexpected surprises. Class was
boring, after all. “Something’s not right.”
Wan Da glanced backward and saw the back of He Zhao’s head. “Probably tired from the
all-nighter.”
He Zhao was bent at the waist, his forehead on the edge of the desk.
He held his phone in his hand, between his legs, and tapped into the chat window. I went to
look for Erlei.
Then he deleted it character by character and looked at the words Your Grandpa Jun in a
daze.
Lei Jun had gotten one thing right: no matter what he did, it was no use now.
It had already happened. Because of him. Nothing he could say would change anything.
After Erlei withdrew from school, he hadn’t kept in contact with anybody.
He was definitely angry, He Zhao thought. If it were him, he wouldn’t be able to bear it,
either.
He had asked many people, including everyone in the area Erlei used to live, and had
eventually arrived at his hometown.
He still remembered every word and every sound from Erlei’s mouth.
“Zhao-ge, this isn’t entirely your fault. But I can’t help resenting you.”
“But I don’t want you to do this, either. You… you’d better go back and study. Can’t just skip
class like this.”
“Me? I’m not studying any more, and I’m not going to look for a new school… My family
found a training course for me. I’ll start working and earn money.”
He Zhao threw his phone into his desk and shut his eyes.
During the midday break, Luo Wenqiang and Liu Cunhao carried a cardboard box through
the door. It was three blocks from the faculty office to the classroom, and class rep Liu
Cunhao didn’t exercise much so, by the time he reached the doorway, he was almost done
for. His breath came shallowly as he said, “Classmates, the prizes have arrived… the prizes
from the sports meet. Make way, make way.”
Erzhong was efficient. The sports meet had only just ended and the prizes had already
arrived.
“What prizes?” Some people crowded around curiously to see.
“Dean Jiang personally picked out the sports meet prizes. Very unique. You definitely…” Liu
Cunhao paused, then continued, “Won’t like it.”
Liu Cunhao cut the box open with a knife, revealing a neat stack of supplementary class
material. From After-Class English Reading to Entering the Wonderful World of Physics,
every subject was represented.
“Come on and pick what you want. Feel free,” Liu Cunhao said. “First place gets dibs. Who’s
first?”
The athletes who had participated: “……”
Liu Cunhao said, “Zhao-ge, stop sleeping. You’re our push-ups champion. Come over and
pick?”
“Don’t want to.” He Zhao didn’t even look up, his voice muffled. “Whoever wants it can have
it.”
Then Liu Cunhao asked, “Yu-ge?”
Xie Yu said, “Pretend I didn’t participate.”
Certainly worthy of last place and second-to-last place, respectively. They’d rather die than
read textbooks and do practice questions.
Eventually, Xu Qingqing picked two classic novels, Luo Wenqiang picked a book of physics
practice questions, and the other athletes were very put on the spot. Only Xue Xisheng
looked on with envy and said, “Gym rep, next sports meet let me join in too. Any event is
fine.”
As the class was in an uproar, Wu Zheng walked in with a stack of mock exam papers under
his arm.
“Don’t think that school has only just started! Count on your fingers! There isn’t much time
left!” Old Wu put the practice questions down and pulled out half a stick of chalk from the
box. As he spoke, the chalk landed with perfect accuracy on the head of a certain student in
the last row. “Midterm exams are coming up! Let me see what grades you can come up
with.”
He Zhao didn’t react to the blow. His fingers twitched, he shifted his position, and he kept
sleeping.
Xie Yu saw that Old Wu was giving out test papers and kicked He Zhao. “Pop quiz.”
In-class test—a more advanced form of the monthly exams as well as a preview of the
upcoming mid-term exams.
They didn’t have to split their desks for the pop quiz that lasted two class periods.
With several minutes to go, before handing out the papers, Wu Zheng said, “If you need to
go to the toilet, go now. Don’t complain about needing to go later. I won’t care. You can hold
it.”
The students filtered out to the toilet in groups, their spirits low. “Pop quiz? Why another
test? Endless tests.”
In the few minutes before the test started, Xue Xisheng came over and fervently explained
the important content to them, making use of every second. He was talking so much He
Zhao couldn’t sleep at all.
Xue Xisheng pushed up his glasses as he spoke, expression completely serious. “Do you
remember now? This question will definitely come up. Just use the formula I gave you just
now. Recite it back to me. These few points are very easy to get. If you get it right then our
class average will go up by half a point.”
He Zhao: “……”
Xie Yu: “……”
This nap would not happen.
He Zhao went to the bathroom and washed his face, preparing to face the test on his return.
When the papers were handed out, he discovered that he couldn’t find the black gel pen he
had used to write the note yesterday.
After hunting for a while, he gave up and asked his deskmate for one to borrow. “Old Xie, do
you have an extra pen?”
Since discovering that bad students had a habit of not bringing writing implements, Xie Yu
wanted to try it out once to show off his professional skill. Now, during this pop quiz, he got
his chance. He said, “I don’t have a pen either.”
The “so poor their house is empty” deskmates, who couldn’t produce a pen no matter how
they searched, stared at each other for a while. Then He Zhao tapped the shoulder of the
student in front of him. “Friend, can we borrow two pens?”
The student in front hunted through his pencil case. “I, I only have one.” He had a lot of
mechanical pencil lead refills, but only one extra writing utensil.
He Zhao thought about it, then said, “One is fine. That’s enough. Thanks.”
Xie Yu asked, “One is enough?”
“You use it first.” He Zhao handed the pen to him. “I haven’t found a question I can answer
yet, so I don’t need it for now.”
Xie Yu: “……”
Xie Yu blindly answered a few questions, thinking about He Zhao’s level and how he would
need to answer the mid-term questions in order to knock this idiot off last place.
Xie Yu adjusted his own score according to He Zhao’s answers and had no idea that his last-
place deskmate had also been observing him.
After completing the paper, Xie Yu estimated that he would score about the same as He
Zhao on this math test.
After finishing the paper, He Zhao put it under his textbook, then lay on the desk and
stealthily watched Xie Yu.
Xie Yu had no idea why He Zhao was staring at him. “What are you looking at?”
Perhaps he was exhausted from last night’s all nighter, but he did look a little tired. After a
pause, he said, “Bad mood.”
It’s a little better when I look at you.
If possible… I want to hug you too.
As He Zhao continued thinking, he suddenly very much wanted to ask the cripple next to
him, Do you want to climb the wall and go to the internet cafe again tonight?
He Zhao had the faint impression that his thoughts toward his little friend were going in the
wrong direction, and he jumped from shock at the thought ‘I want to hug you.’
The dismissal bell rang and Wu Zheng called out from the podium, “Turn in your tests. Stop
writing. Stop looking back and forth! …Too bad if you didn’t finish! Turn your papers in!”
“Big bro flirt, your paper.”
Xie Yu was checking his score again and held out his hand for He Zhao’s paper without
looking up, but He Zhao still hadn’t done anything after a while. He looked up and said,
“What’s the matter?”
He Zhao had already left through the rear door and proceeded to skip the next two class
periods at that.
But Shen Jie, attending class as usual, got a text from his Zhao-ge, an inexplicable six words.
Have you ever been in love?
Shen Jie thought hard for a while and really couldn’t discern the intent of the question. He
replied, Does a crush count?
Then his Zhao-ge went radio silent.
Shen Jie still didn’t understand. He scratched his head. He didn’t understand the world his
big bro lived in.
He Zhao went back to the dormitory, intending to catch up on sleep, but he couldn’t fall
asleep no matter how hard he tried. He endured till school let out, then couldn’t take it any
more, got up, and went back to the classroom for evening self-study. From afar, he saw Wan
Da leaning out of the window, peering left and right, looking terribly suspicious.
He Zhao walked over and stopped in front of the window. He crooked a finger and tapped
at the brick beneath the window. “What are you doing?”
“Beware fire, beware thieves, beware Mad Dog,” Wan Da said. “Qing-jie and the others are
playing Dou Dizhu and told me to keep watch.”
He Zhao looked in through the window and saw his little friend, toward whom he was
starting to have very strange thoughts, also in the Dou Dizhu lineup.
Wan Da summarized the battle situation. “Yu-ge is like the God of Gambling incarnate. He
won every round. 30 thousand bucks right now. Qing-jie is about to cry.”
He said Dou Dizhu, but the cards were all made from A4 paper with some ugly red and
black pips drawn on them. A thin stack was clutched in their hands, and it was difficult even
to draw cards.
It looked like a last-minute decision—someone had come up with the idea of a round of
Dou Dizhu so they had started playing. After Class 3 had gotten to know each other, they
got up to all sorts of mischief.
Xie Yu had the situation in hand.
He had indeed won 30 thousand. On a sheet of paper, in black gel ink was a 3 followed by
four zeroes.
He Zhao stood in the corridor, leaning against the windowsill, and watched with interest
for a while.
One of the players, Xu Qingqing, felt that she couldn’t keep playing. There was no fun at all
in playing cards with Xie Yu, only bitterness. She really wanted to go back in time half an
hour and strangle Wan Da to death before he could ask, “Yu-ge, in for this game?”
She looked at the cards left in her hand, then left and right. Seeing He Zhao outside the
window, her eyes lit up and she said, “Zhao-ge, come and take your deskmate away!”
Xie Yu: “……”
After the previous experience, the word ‘take’² seemed to have become a sensitive topic. He
couldn’t quite describe the feeling.
He Zhao didn’t even have time to react.
“Your deskmate is a walking Dou Dizhu hack,” Xu Qingqing said. “This is a terrible gaming
experience.”
Xie Yu put down the cards and tried to salvage his own dignity before leaving. “You play too
badly.”
Xu Qingqing wanted to send away this Buddha,³ so she admitted to her bad card skills. “Yes,
we suck.”
He Zhao said, “Then you’re missing one player now.”
“Me,” Wan Da raised a hand and said. “I want to play, too.”
Xu Qingqing was worried she’d just sent one menace away to have another take his place,
so she asked carefully, “How are your card skills?”
“I’m terrible. Played since I was little and never won money,” Wan Da said. “When I play
Dou Dizhu I only play on the low-level end. I don’t even dare think of playing with someone
with skills like Yu-ge.”
Translation notes:
[1] Oracle bone script: Chinese characters inscribed on bones used for divination, from
around 2nd millennium BC.
[2] ‘take’ = the ‘hold’ in holding hands
[3] Sending away a buddha: getting rid of an unwanted presence in one’s house

Chapter 047 - Looks alone don’t cut it.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“Any friends willing to step in and defend our lives?” Wan Da gestured furiously. “Yu-ge,
will you help?”
Xie Yu said, “We’re not friends and I’m busy.”
Wan Da: “……”
Cold. As cold as always.
Wan Da watched as Xie Yu, after saying all that, still proceeded to get up and sit down next
to the window facing the corridor. He couldn’t tell what on earth this cold big bro really
intended.
Was he willing to keep watch or unwilling?
He Zhao smiled and said, “You all keep playing. He’s on the lookout.”
Wan Da was genuinely shocked. He said, not quite believing it, “How do you know? How
can you tell?”
Xie Yu was a loner, prideful, very antisocial, and had a hair-trigger temper.
The words, ‘Don’t bother me,’ were just about written on his face.
Last year when their class year had been split into the East and West Buildings, the Big Bro
of the West Building had been Xie Yu. Just the rumor of his black nail polish had scared
away countless people. He sounded like a dark, twisted character.
He Zhao didn’t answer Wan Da’s question.
He jumped in through the window, feet landing on a chair, and thought, I just know.
Xie Yu was still on his phone. From time to time, he’d glance up and outside then look back
down after finding nothing out of the ordinary.
He Zhao sat down at the desk in front of Xie Yu, his back to the blackboard as he watched
the group play Dou Dizhu. Then he glanced up at the latest homeroom assignment Class 3
had been given: My dreams.
Class 3’s homeroom reports were especially terrible. In the whole class of 30-odd people,
no one had any talent for drawing. Since they wouldn’t win any contests, they might as well
not waste their effort on it.
But they were very creative. Every student wrote a wish on their paper and stuck it to the
board with tape in the shape of a rather untidy heart.
It was just something they had put together on the fly, but Tang Sen took many
photographs of it as if it were a great treasure.
He Zhao glanced back at the person in front of him.
The Big Bro of the West wore his school uniform—the weather had grown cooler lately—
and, perhaps because he didn’t like the cold, had put on a jacket on top of his uniform. His
hands were partly hidden in his sleeves, half his fingers peeking out as he concentrated on
tapping at his phone screen.
Xie Yu’s movements were occasionally very gentle. For instance, when he woke up during
morning self-study and blearily opened his eyes. Or when he said, ‘none of my business,’
then, after a pause, added a question mark at the end.
Or now, with his slender and pale fingers curled, his pinky lightly hooked on the edge of his
sleeve.
He Zhao rapped on the desk. “Little friend, what dreams did you write about?”
Xie Yu’s fingers stilled on the phone screen. He had been chatting with Aunt Mei—asking
how business was going at Guang Mao and telling her not to scrimp and save. If she didn’t
have enough help, she should hire several more people. The sudden change of topic
surprised him. “Ah?”
Then he followed He Zhao’s gaze and turned around to look at the homeroom assignment
on the blackboard.
He had scribbled down whatever came to mind. What dreams? To genuinely lay them out
in this ‘heart of love’ for the whole world to see would have been too dramatic, would it
not? Besides, a second-year high school student’s entire world consisted only of ‘the high
school exams.’ Wan Da and the others had only laughed when they collected their papers to
fill in and didn’t take it seriously. “Dreams! Fudan is my dream!”
“You can forget about Fudan. But you can have Fudan milk tea,” Liu Cunhao mocked him,
then narrated a daydream of his own. “Me, I want to save the world.”
Wan Da patted the class rep’s head. “You’d better come drink Fudan milk tea with me and
stop thinking about nonsense.”
In adolescence, no one really had a clear or solid self-image, and things like dreams still
seemed far away.
He Zhao was still asking about it.
Xie Yu had already forgotten what he had written down. He thought about it a little more
closely and remembered. “Strike it rich.”
He Zhao had thought that his ‘world peace’ had been perfunctory enough, but now he
realized the guy in front of him was a genius. “Strike it rich?”
Xie Yu said, “…You disapprove?”
“Nope. This is a good dream,” He Zhao said, then remembered that Xie Yu had taken a
biographical photo of him that he hadn’t collected yet. So he knocked on the desk again and
asked, “Where’s my suave photo?”
“How annoying can you get? What suave photo?”
“I posed so hard. Didn’t you get a photo?”
Posed.
At the mention of this word, Xie Yu felt transported back to that very awkward event that
was so embarrassing he couldn’t bear to look. “You have the gall to mention that?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” He Zhao said. “You couldn’t resist taking photos of me, right?”
Xie Yu thought, ‘Couldn’t resist, my ass.’
Really shameless.
Xie Yu had uploaded the photo on his feed. Since He Zhao really wanted to see it, Xie Yu
found it and showed it to him.
He Zhao glanced at it and found that it was quite a passable photo. “Good photography
skills. Of course, the important thing is that I’m photogenic…” As He Zhao spoke, he
accidentally scrolled down to the comments beneath the photo. He discovered that,
although Xie Yu was a loner who didn’t draw attention to himself, there were more than
fifty comments on the photo.
Looking at the names, they were all Aunt somebody or So-and-so’s Mom, all old ladies of
some sort, and one of them even had the note, ‘Breakfast place one street over – Wang’s
Mom.’
Aunt Mei: Son, who’s this in the middle? Quite handsome.
xy replied to Aunt Mei: An idiot.
Dalei: Damn, why does this guy seem so familiar?!
xy replied to Dalei: Crowd-face.¹
……
He Zhao read through all of them and found that his little friend was quite happy to diss
him. “Never mind the crowd-face bit, you told your mom I’m an idiot?”
Xie Yu had clearly forgotten about the comments section. He said calmly, “That’s my
godmother.”
Xie Yu rarely talked about his family and now he produced a godmother out of nowhere.
These fifty-plus comments indicated that his little friend’s social network was quite
impressive. He Zhao continued asking, “You have a godmother?”
Xie Yu introduced her briefly. “My godmother. Ground snake. ² Met her on the streets.”
He Zhao pointed at the name Dalei. “And this one?”
Xie Yu said, “You met him in the police station.”
Eventually, Xie Yu grew very frustrated—he had no idea how to explain his relationship
with the breakfast store aunt one street over—and papered it over with the comment,
“You’re suave, you’re not a crowd-face,” and declared the matter finished.
Before He Zhao returned the phone to Xie Yu, he swiftly entered his own phone number.
“You don’t even go on QQ. Add me as a friend?”
Xie Yu said, “You’ve already added yourself. Why bother asking me?”
He Zhao replied, “To be polite.”
Aunt Mei and the others used text messages, so Xie Yu and Dalei had followed suit and
gotten used to it.
Xie Yu didn’t really need to contact his classmates, anyway. In first year, he was the sort
who lost all contact with his previous friends after leaving middle school, and after a year of
not being in touch, he didn’t even get notifications from his teachers any more.
But now, it seemed that… something had changed.
For instance, his contacts list where the ‘Friends’ group had steadily grown.
For instance, Xie Yu had never imagined that one day he would sit at the window, keeping
watch for his classmates so that they could play Dou Dizhu in peace.
Damn it, has my temper gotten better? Xie Yu thought.
Wan Da’s self-assessment had not been exaggerated in the least. He didn’t only have bad
luck on the draw, he also had terrible skills.
“I admire rookies like you.” Before long, Xu Qingqing had won all her money back and said
contentedly, “Our friendship will last a lifetime.”
Wan Da didn’t much care how badly he had lost, either. He replied, “My honor, Miss Xu.”
He Zhao sat on the desk and leaned against the windowsill, helping keep watch for a while.
“How much longer?”
“Zhao-ge, last round, almost done.” Wan Da was very excited. He glanced at his terrible
hand of cards. “I’m about to lose.”
He Zhao tsked. “You still sound happy?”
Xie Yu said, “Losing every single hand is a talent, too.”
“Right.” Wan Da nodded. “That’s exactly it. I think I’m pretty talented.”
They had kept watch for a long time but Mad Dog hadn’t appeared. However, Shen Jie, who
had been held back at dismissal to talk to his teacher, stopped and glanced in as he passed
Class 3 on his way out of the faculty office. “What are you doing?”
Shen Jie stood at the window and looked in. Hearing Xu Qingqing call out heartily, “Four
with three,” he was shocked at Class 3’s talent. “Damn it, a card room?”
“What are you doing?” He Zhao retorted. “Why haven’t you gone home?”
Shen Jie said, “This afternoon was the math pop quiz, right? I… had a little accident.”
Wan Da had no playable cards left and was easily distracted. “I know. He got caught
cheating during this afternoon’s test.”
Shen Jie had intended to gloss over the matter but Wan Da had directly revealed everything
and he could only helplessly say, “How do you know everything?”
Wan Da said shamelessly, “There’s nothing I don’t know in my part of the world.”
“Just fold. You just listen at corners and you think you’re something,” Shen Jie said before
he left. “Right, Zhao-ge. What you said this afternoon, about being in lo…”
Shen Jie still hadn’t let go of the ‘being in love’ text He Zhao had sent. The more he thought
about it the more he felt something wasn’t right, so now that he’d bumped into He Zhao he
wanted to clear the air. But before the word ‘love’ could leave his mouth, he saw his Zhao-
ge go rigid. He seemed to have hit a sore spot. He Zhao nearly jumped out of the window
but settled for leaning his upper body out. “Shut up, you.”
“No, I just meant to ask you.” Shen Jie couldn’t figure it out. “That being in…”
Xie Yu tilted his head. He had no idea what these two were doing. “Talking about what?”³
He Zhao jumped out of the window, looking extremely anxious, the length of his entire back
taut. The moment he landed, he covered Shen Jie’s mouth and followed up. “We need to
talk. You’re looking for me because we need to talk, yes?”
Shen Jie was about to say, “Of course not, it’s about being in love,” but all he could make
were muffled sounds of, “Mm, mm.”
He kept “Mm”-ing as He Zhao dragged him away.
Xie Yu: “……”
“What are the two of them up to?” Wan Da’s hot air immediately rushed out as he deflated.
“Something’s up.”
Xu Qingqing said, “Knows-It-All-In-This-World, you’d better concentrate on losing this
hand.”
He Zhao wasn’t sure where he was dragging Shen Jie to, either. Nowhere seemed like a
good place to talk about this, so he dragged him straight back to the dorms.
Shen Jie sat on the chair, gasping for breath. On the way over, He Zhao hadn’t only covered
his mouth, but his nostrils, too. “Zhao-ge, I almost suffocated and died, do you know?”
Before he had recovered, He Zhao said, “That… a crush is fine, too. Tell me about it?”
Shen Jie said, “Ah? What’s there to say about a crush? Feels uncomfortable and bloated, like
a can of Fanta that’s been shaken very hard. Bubbling up—if anyone were to open the can,
it would explode in his face.”
He Zhao: “……”
This metaphor was very apt.
But He Zhao felt that his own can of soda was quite intense. It didn’t need anyone to open it,
it would explode on its own.
Shen Jie walked out of the boys’ dormitory and to the bus stop to wait for the bus. He
sneezed in the autumn wind. He still hadn’t made sense of this matter with He Zhao, and
now he even wanted a soda.
Shen Jie kept thinking about it. On the subject of dating, he’d known He Zhao for very long
but hadn’t seen him date anyone.
He Zhao was obviously someone who could find a relationship very easily if he wanted to.
Going off his looks alone, one might think He Zhao had a lot of relationship experience. As
the saying went, he was so suave he was untrustworthy.
But his Zhao-ge had remained single for more than ten years.
Shen Jie had personally experienced it when hanging out with He Zhao. One time a girl had
shyly come up to start a conversation. He Zhao had replied, “Are you selling something?
Sorry, not buying.”
“When Heaven opens a door, it closes a window.” Shen Jie shook his head. The bus was
pulling into the station, and as he reached for his card, he said, “Looks alone don’t cut it.”
Translation notes:
[1] Crowd-face: super average looking
[2] Ground snake: Local tyrant/powerful person.
[3] the first word of the phrase ‘being in love’ is the word for ‘discuss’

Chapter 048 - “Zhao-ge.”

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
A certain person who had had a window closed on him by Heaven was currently very
frustrated indeed.
He was so frustrated he didn’t sleep well all night. Even doing mock exam papers didn’t
help.
He Zhao discovered that the strange, something-is-out-of-place feeling had gradually built
up, little by little. By the time he became aware of it, it was completely out of control.
Countless times he had been shaken, and each time, he wasn’t sure what to do.
He wasn’t sure where to put his hands, he didn’t dare look directly at that person, yet a
voice in his heart continued to shout.
He, likes, Xie Yu.
Not that sort of like. That sort of like.
Whenever he saw him, his heart filled up. Afraid to win, yet afraid to lose. Not grounded at
all, with the lingering feeling that somewhere within him still remained empty. That sort of
like.
But.
He Zhao had remained single for more than ten years. Faced with this age-old dilemma, his
thoughts rushed about in all directions like a wild beast but still could not find their way.
Eventually the beast stopped, having exhausted all its energy. He Zhao sat on the ground
and thought, would his little friend… dislike it?
As someone who was discussed in a CP thread on the school forums, He Zhao was, in a
broad sense, aware of the matters of being gay and being straight.
What if Xie Yu was as straight as an arrow?
He was at an age where it was easy to be reckless, but he didn’t dare to just do as he
pleased.
Eventually, He Zhao tossed his pen down. He wasn’t sure what to do, either, so he opened
Xie Yu’s social media profile and scrolled down, post by post.
Xie Yu’s social media profile was like a boundary line, cordoning off the Xie Yu he knew. He
Zhao now saw Xie Yu’s life from before, his friend circle… and the gentleness that he
ordinarily never showed.
Xie Yu’s everyday posts were very simple, generally a short phrase. When he was angry he
would post, ‘Go fucking scram,’ and when he was happy he would post pictures of nature or
his surroundings. One common subject of the photographs was a very fat orange cat, with
the caption Eat yourself to death.
The orange cat sometimes sunned itself belly-up at the entrance to the convenience store,
napping with its eyes narrowed.
The convenience store looked run-down and children’s toys were arranged on its stock
shelves. A whole wall of cheap toys.
There was a signpost in the upper left corner of the photo, the words ‘Black Water Street’
faintly visible.
He Zhao paused. This location sounded familiar.
But the posts about Black Water Street had grown fewer in number over the last few years,
and He Zhao thought to himself, Did he move?
As he continued scrolling, he reached a close-up photo of the orange cat. It was very close
to the camera, its nose almost pressed to the glass, and Xie Yu’s hand was placed on the
orange cat’s head——just looking at the hand, one could not imagine that the person
rubbing the cat’s head could be vicious at all.
Xie Yu was sitting on the side of the road, and the cat was clearly very comfortable being
petted, its eyes narrowed with satisfaction.
He Zhao stared at the photo for a long time before quietly saving it.
The Xie Yu in these photos was different from the Xie Yu in school, but he was still the little
friend He Zhao knew.
With such a thick layer of armor, everyone thought he was impenetrable.
“Damn.” He Zhao couldn’t bear it any longer and flipped his phone over. “…Why is he so
cute.”
After evening self-study ended, Xie Yu returned to his dorm room and had just finished
showering when he received a phone call from home. He thought it was Madam Gu calling
to ask him again if he would be going home for the weekend, and prepared to use the
excuse that he needed to study for the upcoming mid-term exams.
But when he picked up the phone he heard Zhong Jie’s voice, stuttering and clearly drunk.
“Xie Yu, I’m te-te-telling you, don’t fucking think…”
Zhong Jie’s voice stopped there, because Xie Yu had hung up the phone.
Two minutes passed, then Zhong Jie called again and said haughtily, “You’re just a peasant,
but you dare hang up on me?”
A vein jumped at Xie Yu’s temple.
What the hell was ‘peasant?’ The drunk was still acting like he was a lord tyrant?
He Zhao was still awash in the feeling of ‘my little friend is too damn cute’ when he heard
his cute little friend walking down the corridor and cursing out loud, “Motherfucker, are
you quite finished?”
He Zhao: “……”
“Everyone owes you something and you’re the worst off.” Xie Yu pushed open his dorm
room door and walked out, heading to the deserted end of the corridor to keep talking.
Expression blank, he said, “Yes, I’ve been eyeing your family fortune for a long time now.
You had better guard it like the dog you are.”
Xie Yu had not taken two steps before the door opposite his opened and He Zhao leaned in
his doorway, watching him.
Xie Yu did not react, passed him, and kept walking, cursing the whole way. Very
impressively, he never repeated a single curse.
When he was done, and walking back after hanging up the phone, He Zhao asked, “Who was
it that deserved that cursing?”
He Zhao did not ask anything further about the situation. An average person, listening to
this without knowing the full picture, would think Xie Yu was the bully here. But He Zhao
straightaway labeled the other party, who had been cursed at for a long time, as ‘deserving
of cursing.’ He really was very biased.
Xie Yu didn’t want to talk about it. He stopped, stood in his dorm room doorway and said,
“Ah, just an idiot.”
Xie Yu’s expression was frustrated, an air of annoyance emanating from him. If Zhong Jie
were in front of him now, and if one were to hand Xie Yu a stick, he wouldn’t hesitate to
beat Zhong Jie to a pulp. He was that annoyed.
He Zhao turned to one side. “Want to come in and sit down?”
Xie Yu didn’t move.
He Zhao said, “I have sweets.”
Xie Yu used words economically. If he could express what he wanted in two words he
certainly would not use three.
After listening for a while, He Zhao had gotten the gist of it. He suggested, perfectly
seriously, “Is your stepbrother a special needs child? Does he need to see a neurologist?”
Xie Yu laughed. “Yes. Developmentally challenged child.”
He Zhao suddenly remembered the orange cat from Xie Yu’s profile. He pulled up the photo
and showed Xie Yu. “How did this cat get so fat?”
“The whole street feeds it. How could it not get fat?” Xie Yu glanced at it then asked, “What
are you looking at my profile for?”
“I…” He Zhao stopped. “Just looking.”
“……”
They chatted for a while, about everything from developmentally challenged children to the
latest video game equipment, and then the conversation came around to Liu Cunhao’s
birthday. “Hao-zi’s birthday is next weekend. Are you going?”
Xie Yu thought about it. “Birthday?”
“Did you not notice him dropping hints?” He Zhao dragged his chair closer. “A wily one, he
is.”
Over the last few days, Liu Cunhao had been hinting right and left about the things he liked,
as if worried others wanted to buy him birthday gifts but weren’t sure what to get. “There’s
nothing I really like lately, but if I had to name something, it would be xx’s new album…
That’s all right.”
Wan Da was close to him and didn’t require such roundabout hints—Liu Cunhao had just
sent him a Taobao¹ link—but no one else in the class escaped Liu Cunhao’s attentions.
Now that He Zhao had reminded him, Xie Yu finally realized Liu Cunhao’s intentions. “I
thought he’d gone mad.”
He Zhao leaned against the back of his chair and laughed. “It was very obvious. Couldn’t you
tell? Hao-zi must be so embarrassed.”
Xie Yu thought about the few conversations he had had with Liu Cunhao over the past few
days and suddenly wanted to laugh. “He didn’t speak plainly. How was I to know?”
It was rare for the two of them to sit together talking about their classmates, and now the
conversation suddenly cut off. For a while, neither of them spoke. Xie Yu felt uneasy for no
real reason, and after he calmed down he found the atmosphere was a little more strange
than just simply awkward.
He couldn’t sit still any longer and got up. “I’ll… go then.”
Before he finished, He Zhao had already caught the hem of his shirt.
He was wearing a button-down and the overall image was of someone who didn’t really
care about anything: a little languid, a smile always on his lips, as if there were many things
in the world to be happy about.
He Zhao swallowed, then said—both to himself and to Xie Yu—“It’ll pass.”
It’ll pass.
Even if it feels like being imprisoned right now.
As long as you put in a little effort, and if that doesn’t work, a little more… and walk
forward, the life you want and all the answers you were looking for… will be there.
“Go.” He Zhao let go and smiled. “Goodnight, little friend.”
Xie Yu stood, stunned, then after a moment, said goodnight, too.
The next day.
The wily guy who had been labeled ‘mad’ was now formally inviting everyone to attend his
birthday gathering that weekend. He had even written invitations.
Xie Yu received one, too. Inside was written the time and place: next Sunday, 9 a.m. at
Central Avenue.
He Zhao pretended to be put on the spot. “Hao-zi, about a gift…”
Liu Cunhao waved a hand dismissively, putting on a magnanimous air as if he hadn’t been
dropping hints wildly just a few days ago. “Gifts aren’t important. Your good wishes mean
more! Before our friendship, all those things are unimportant.”
Xie Yu said, “…You really want to save face that much?”
Xu Qingqing and Wan Da couldn’t keep listening and threw writing implements at him.
“Bullshit! What’s this about good wishes meaning more! Aren’t you embarrassed saying
that!”
Wan Da said, “Shall I help you remember that Taobao link you sent me? Hao-zi, think about
that link, then talk.”
Liu Cunhao put his head in his hands, hiding. “So rough. Especially you, Qing-ge. You won’t
be able to get married like that.”
He Zhao stirred the pot. “Hao-zi, how can you say that to Qing-ge?”
Xu Qingqing was about to go to the faculty office to get the English homework, but on
hearing this she started rolling up her sleeves. She gritted out, “Come on. Come over here, if
you dare.”
Liu Cunhao dashed outside. “I’d be stupid if I went.”
Liu Cunhao had invited everyone out for an outing and then a meal for his birthday.
Xie Yu had intended to skip, but seeing how excited Liu Cunhao was, he couldn’t think of
how to refuse. He Zhao patted his head and said, as if he’d anticipated everything, “Yes, he’s
going.”
Xie Yu thought, Going, your ass.

Madam Gu was even more excited than Liu Cunhao about this class birthday gathering.
Xie Yu’s previous friends were all from Black Water Street. She hadn’t noticed Xie Yu
making many new friends after moving.
Even falling in with Zhou Dalei and the others had taken Xie Yu a long time. Since the
accident when he was young, people had beat them while they were down. Friends and
family all chased them away. Now that Gu Xuelan thought about it, during those years when
she had taken Xie Yu here and there and suffered the judgmental gazes of others, she had
thought Xie Yu wasn’t old enough to understand, but he had seen and understood it all.
So Xie Yu had gradually grown quieter and subconsciously defensive when meeting people
for the first time. He was very wary.
“Your classmate, the class rep,” Gu Xuelan began with a smile. “Have you bought him a
present? You must be polite and wish him a happy birthday. Be sweeter. Isn’t this nice? Go
out with your classmates more often and take some photos… Do you have enough money
on you?”
Xie Yu was a little annoyed at getting a lecture before he went out. He changed his shoes
and walked outside. “All right, talk to you later. Mom, I’m going out.”
In school, everyone wore the school uniform and hairstyles were also regulated. They only
chatted about homework and exams. Now that they had a chance to go out, everyone went
a little mad.
Xu Qingqing wore a pair of overalls, long hair loose, a small shoulder bag over her shoulder.
When she appeared, everyone was surprised. “Wah, who is this? Are you from our class?”
Xu Qingqing smiled. “I’m your Qing-ge.”
He Zhao arrived early. He squatted by the side of the street, looking down at his phone.
Liu Cunhao and the others quickly found that with this person in their group, they turned
many heads. It seemed as if every girl that passed by would secretly take a second look.
When Xie Yu arrived later… it would be unimaginable.
Xie Yu’s phone exploded with messages before he had even left the train.
Are you here?
At the train station entrance. The north one.
Where are you?
Xie Yu glanced down and walked as he replied, Ask again and I’ll block you.
He Zhao didn’t reply.
Several steps later, Xie Yu received a message: I’m especially handsome today. You’ll see me
the moment you exit the station. The most eye-catching one in the group.
“……”
Wan Da had changed his hairstyle and was skipping about on the platform. When he
jumped, he glimpsed Xie Yu. “I saw Yu-ge! Wah, Zhao-ge, today you two, black and white, a
perfect match.”
Everyone glanced in the direction of the train station.
He Zhao was wearing a black jacket; Xie Yu was wearing a white one and glancing down at
something.
Xie Yu’s finger was currently on the block button. He hadn’t yet pressed it when he heard
cheering in front of him. When he looked up, all of Class 3 was waving at him. “Yu-ge, over
here——”
He Zhao was standing right in front, smiling as he yelled, “Old Xie!” He really was the most
eye-catching of the lot.
Not all of Class 3 was here—there were twelve people. The others were attending remedial
lessons and couldn’t make it.
“Shall we sing karaoke after lunch?” Liu Cunhao said as he collected his presents, arms
filling up so quickly he couldn’t take any more. “Ah, don’t give them to me yet. Give them to
me when we eat cake later, so it feels more ceremonial. And I don’t have to carry them,
either.”
Eating this meal was like fighting a war.
Every dish was fought over. Luo Wenqiang was upfront about the fact that he hadn’t eaten
dinner last night just so he could eat this meal.
Xie Yu frowned as he watched. He didn’t participate in the battle but he did open his
camera app to take a photo.
“…Bros, you’re too much.” He Zhao was also embroiled in the fight for food, almost getting
his whole sleeve soaked in oil as he snatched a piece of fish belly and put it in Xie Yu’s bowl.
“Are you trying to starve my deskmate to death?”
Xie Yu’s hand trembled and the viewfinder listed to one side.
The resulting photo contained no people, just six or seven pairs of entangled chopsticks
and the steamed fish in a sorry state in the middle of the table. “……”
He Zhao was just like a stray dog who had picked up some meat and was hiding it in its
nest, only the nest was Xie Yu’s bowl.
He Zhao snatched a piece of sweet and sour ribs from someone and put it in Xie Yu’s bowl,
saying, “Old Xie, don’t be so image conscious.² Children who care so much about
appearances won’t get food.”
He emphasized, “My chopsticks are clean… quick, eat. Do you see how the gym rep is eyeing
it?”
Xie Yu opened his mouth, unsure what to say, and eventually called out, “He Zhao.”
He Zhao was still fighting Luo Wenqiang for the last piece of corn pie and wasn’t paying
attention. He said distractedly, “Mm?”
Xie Yu paused, then said again, “Zhao-ge.”
Translation notes:
[1] Chinese online shopping website, like Amazon
[2] The phrase He Zhao uses is ‘idol baggage’

Chapter 049 - Burning

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Xie Yu often called him idiot, stupid, and various other insults. The only respectful name he
had called him was ‘Big Bro Flirt,’ but that wasn’t complimentary, either.
So now the words ‘Zhao-ge,’ said in an even tone without inflection, left He Zhao stunned.
He almost dropped his chopsticks.
By the time He Zhao came back to his senses, Luo Wenqiang had snatched the final piece of
corn pie with his bare hands.
Luo Wenqiang had one foot on his chair, his posture open. He had done his utmost to seize
food, forgoing chopsticks and using his hands directly. “Ha ha ha ha ha, Zhao-ge, admit
defeat!”
Xu Qingqing said, “Gym rep, I really didn’t imagine you to be this sort of person.”
Liu Cunhao shook his head. “I didn’t, either… There’s nothing he won’t stoop to for food.
Tell me, did you really forgo just dinner? Surely you didn’t go the whole day without food.”
Luo Wenqiang bit into the corn pie and explained, “Not that far, not that far. I just have a big
appetite, that’s all.”
He Zhao cleared his throat, about to ask why Xie Yu was calling him big bro.
Xie Yu said, “I don’t like corn pie.”
“I didn’t get the pie, anyway,” He Zhao said. “Then what do you want to eat?”
Xie Yu pointed at the steaming pot of three-ingredient soup.¹
The food on the table was already a mess. The remaining dishes were a plate of vegetables
on which were piled several shrimp, and a small rib that had come from a different dish.
He Zhao stared at the mess and thought, Let alone a bowl of soup, I’ll do anything!
He Zhao reached out to turn the lazy susan. After it had rotated halfway, his hand stilled
and he asked, “You want some soup, right? Call me big bro again and I’ll get it for you.”
He Zhao thought the little bastard certainly wouldn’t listen to him and might even kick him
instead. Or even fold up his sleeves and, in his cold and haughty manner, bestow the words,
“Get lost.”
But the little bastard just called him again. “Zhao-ge.”
“……”
He Zhao felt his throat tighten.
Almost everyone he knew called him Zhao-ge.
But the words were different coming from Xie Yu.
When he said them, a piece of He Zhao’s heart seemed to collapse in his chest.
His thoughts were in chaos. Eventually the hundreds and thousands of words formed a
sentence: Fuck, something is very wrong.
Xie Yu’s mind was in chaos, too.
He stared at the bowl of soup for a long time, then stirred it with a spoon.
Actually, he didn’t really dislike corn pie and didn’t really want the three-ingredient soup,
either.
So… what was he really trying to do?
Did he simply, having touched some nerve, want to call He Zhao big bro?
“How about some wine?” Liu Cunhao asked.
Luo Wenqiang said with his mouth full, “Yes, yes! That little bit isn’t enough to fill the gaps
in my teeth.”
The group rarely went out and, without supervision, they all acted like grown-ups, ordering
food and wine. The alcohol especially seemed to erase a line of some sort; the moment they
drank, the boundaries they usually maintained all disappeared.
He Zhao and Liu Cunhao both downed a few bottles.
Xie Yu drank a little, too. He didn’t drink too much, but he felt it go to his head.
The service at the restaurant Liu Cunhao had found was very good. When the birthday cake
was brought out, the lights in the private room went out. Xie Yu was still drinking soup
when the surroundings went dark.
Someone asked, “Did the power go out?”
The next moment, the waiter pushed open the door to the private room. On the trolley was
a big birthday cake with 17 lit candles on it, the small flames glowing faintly, flickering in
the wind as the trolley moved forward.
Someone started singing a birthday song, and then everyone joined in. “Happy birthday to
you~”
Xie Yu sang, too. His voice was overpowered by Wan Da and the others, but He Zhao, who
was close by, caught a few notes.
He sang quite well.
After the song, everyone applauded and shouted, “Make a wish! Blow out the candles!”
Liu Cunhao closed his eyes and made a wish, then blew out the candles. He didn’t blow
them all out in a single breath and the others joined in on blowing them out, too. After they
all went out, Luo Wenqiang said excitedly, “Let’s cut the cake!”
Liu Cunhao laughed and nudged him. “You haven’t eaten your damn fill yet? All you do is
eat. How do you manage it in the school cafeteria?”
“I make do,” Luo Wenqiang said. “…I get two sets every day. What else can I do?”
After making a ruckus, everyone got a piece of chocolate cake.
Wan Da quietly stole some icing from the remainder of the cake on the trolley, crept up
behind Liu Cunhao, waved his icing covered hand over Liu Cunhao’s head, and winked at
everyone.
Everyone paid attention.
Liu Cunhao was occupied with opening presents. He had had a thick enough face to demand
them, but when he opened them he still acted surprised, as if they were unexpected. “Wow,
heavens, I’ve always wanted this! My dear Da, you understand me so well…”
Before he finished, his dear Da had given him a faceful of cake icing.
Wan Da had struck the first blow.
More and more people joined in the icing game until everyone was running back and forth
in the private room.
Xie Yu hadn’t eaten more than a few bites of cake. He Zhao backed out of the huge fight but
hadn’t had his fill of excitement, and seeing his little friend sitting alone, he walked over
and slapped Xie Yu’s shoulder. When Xie Yu glanced up at him, he smeared icing on Xie Yu’s
face.
Xie Yu: “……”
“Old Xie, you can’t escape,” He Zhao said. “The icing has to be smeared.”
Then Liu Cunhao and the others watched the two fist-happy big bros of their class start
fighting again.
Only this time it was an icing war.
Xie Yu grabbed a fistful of icing and dropped it on He Zhao’s head. “You fucking—it’s fun, is
it, is this fun?”
Although everyone called Xu Qingqing Qing-ge, she was a girl after all, and although she
was on the offensive, no one attacked her. When she grew tired, she stopped to rest, then
pulled out her phone and smiled as she took a photo. “Ah—Shall we take a group photo? I’ll
count three, two, one, and everyone yell eggplant.”
He Zhao was naturally performative in front of a camera, and even though there was icing
on his face and in his hair, he still hooked an arm around Xie Yu’s neck, trying to pose.
“Eggplant! Old Xie, look at the camera.”
Xie Yu clearly didn’t want to cooperate. “Look, my ass.”
Xu Qingqing didn’t worry about whether they were ready. She was ready, anyway, and hit
the camera button with a click.
The class rep had turned seventeen.
Everyone’s face was a mess, especially Liu Cunhao’s; only his eyes were still showing.
And in the last row, two boys, one in black, one in white.
Xu Qingqing suddenly thought, How nice.
After reading so many YA novels, she felt that her daily life wasn’t very exciting, and was
very ordinary and unspecial—all she did was worry about the exams and light a desk lamp
late into the night doing homework—but this was very nice.
After they finished dinner and destroyed the cake, Xie Yu pulled out several napkins to
clean his face and found that he couldn’t wipe the stickiness away.
He Zhao suggested he go to the washroom to wash it off. Worried that the bathroom would
be crammed full later, they slipped out through the back door.
“You went too hard.” He Zhao put his head under the tap and washed. “Where else?”
Xie Yu washed up quickly—he only had a little on his face and nose—then started
meticulously cleaning his hands. He glanced sideways and said, “Back of neck.”
He Zhao lowered his head and put a hand behind his neck to check. “Here?”
“No,” Xie Yu said. “Lower.”
He Zhao fumbled around for a while and didn’t find anything. His back was getting sore
from bending over the sink and he leant against the sink, saying, “You’re kidding, right?”
Xie Yu reached out—his hands were still wet and the feeling of his hands on He Zhao’s neck
was chilly. “Here.”
He Zhao: “……”
Liu Cunhao and the others couldn’t get clean with napkins, either, and ended up following
them to the bathroom.
Seeing He Zhao and Xie Yu in the bathroom, both wearing strange expressions on their
faces, he asked curiously, “What are you doing?”
Xie Yu said nothing. He let someone else use the sink and walked out of the bathroom.
He Zhao blinked, water dripping from his hair and catching on his eyelashes. He wiped his
face with one hand. “Nothing. Then… I’m done. You all wash up.”
Liu Cunhao didn’t think too much more about it. Wan Da and Luo Wenqiang had rushed
over to take the two empty spots and he said with pain, “The two of you… can you treat the
birthday boy a little nicer?”
Luo Wenqiang shook his head, laughing as he stuck his head even further under the sink—
and out of the stream of water.
Wan Da wasn’t doing much better. He started twisting in front of the mirror. “Music.”
Liu Cunhao felt that something was wrong. “You all aren’t… drunk, are you?”
They had agreed to sing karaoke, but now that several drunkards had appeared among
them they had to give up.
“Hao-zi, you and Dingding carry the gym rep back,” He Zhao said as he helped Wan Da
along. “Old Xie and I will take care of this one. Take them straight back to school.”
Wan Da’s steps were wobbly and when he heard ‘back to school,’ he bid the class rep
farewell with his last shred of conscious thought. “Hao, Hao-zi, happy birthday.”
Liu Cunhao was having a tough time holding Luo Wenqiang up. “Thank you. Let’s do that,
then… Damn it, how are these two so bad at holding their drinks?”
“If he were just a lightweight, that would be fine,” Xie Yu said. “But he was even boasting so
much about how he could drink a thousand cups without getting drunk.”
He Zhao said, “These two don’t know their true abilities.”
They had still called for bottle after bottle of beer.
Yelling about how this little bit of beer is nothing, I don’t feel anything, I’m definitely the
stuff of legends who won’t get drunk even after a thousand cups! Come on! Cheers!
They hailed a cab. Thank goodness Wan Da wasn’t that awful a drunk and stopped dancing
and making a scene. When he got into the car, he fell asleep.
“Sir, we’re going to Erzhong.”
“Erzhong, huh? You’re a hardworking one.” The driver checked the route and then focused
on driving.
Silence the whole way.
He Zhao was quite good at holding his alcohol, but today he was drinking with Liu Cunhao
so he drank a little more. Now that he had calmed down he felt warm all over.
His stomach felt like it was burning up, too.
He turned to the window to get some air and saw that his little friend had fallen asleep by
his side.
Xie Yu’s hand was just next to his. The hand which had touched his neck, still dripping
water. The hand he had grasped on the first day of school as he asked Xie Yu about the
black nail polish.
The night whistled by outside the window.
He Zhao felt that the feelings he had been pushing down all day, brought out by these
insignificant little details, were now all pouring out.
As Shen Jie said, about to explode.
Xie Yu had a headache and the bumping of the car made it worse. He shut his eyes to rest,
but his mind was clear. As he dozed, he felt someone grasp his hand.
But this time it was different. Their fingers were laced together.
The boy’s fingers were long and solid and got in the way. He Zhao held it carefully, as if
trying not to jolt him, or trying not to use too much force. And his hand was warm, so warm
it seemed to be burning up, the heat transferring to Xie Yu alongside the rhythm of his
heartbeat.
Xie Yu felt himself start to burn up, too.

Translation notes:
[1] The three ingredients can be varied, but usually involve chicken, pork, and seafood.
Chapter 050 - You provoked me first
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Xie Yu kept his eyes shut.
The darkness before his eyes made his other senses even more acute.
For instance: his breathing, his heartbeat, and his fingers interlaced with He Zhao’s.
Xie Yu felt at peace. He didn’t feel any of the unidentifiable emotion from before. He didn’t
want to hit anyone anymore. He would let He Zhao keep his damn life a little longer.
The unidentifiable frustration now seemed to have found an outlet—an answer began to
take shape, barely noticeable.
Maybe it had been there all along.
The interior of the cab was nearly silent. Aside from Wan Da humming in his sleep in the
front seat, there were the sounds of other cars passing by and honking.
It was nearly evening and the sky was growing dark. When the cab turned onto a side road,
Wan Da smacked his lips and woke up again, asking in confusion and fear, “Where’s my
light? Lighting crew?”
Asking for music so he could dance, and now asking for lighting, too. He was probably
dreaming of being an international superstar.
When Wan Da finished speaking, Xie Yu felt He Zhao’s hand stiffen in his. He seemed very
anxious and even his breathing grew shallow.
Thankfully, Wan Da then closed his eyes and sank back into a deep sleep.
He Zhao moved his fingers, wondering whether to let go.
After a long time, he didn’t move. He couldn’t bear to let go.
The red light changed and the car kept moving forward. The number on the fare meter
steadily ticked upward from its base fare.
After an indeterminate amount of time the surroundings grew familiar. Then the cab
turned into a side street near Erzhong. Now they could see the classroom building, which
was the flagship building of Liyang Erzhong. It was the tallest in the school and had the
school’s motto written on the top.
“Up here, right?” The driver turned the cab. “Quite an impressive school. Which year are
you?”
“Second year.”
“Second year, huh… My son is in his third year, so one year above you. Students these days
have it hard. You have to do your homework late into the night, and I must say… studying is
important, but your health is important, too.”
Xie Yu was pretending to sleep, and this pretense was tiring. Especially for his neck, which
was twisted so his head could rest against the back of the seat.
Seeing they were about to arrive at school, He Zhao tried to let go and withdraw his hand
while his little friend wouldn’t notice. “It’s quite tiring. Hope your son does well on the high
school exams…”
He suddenly cut himself off.
He was just starting to let go when Xie Yu—initially passive, his fingers slack—suddenly
tightened his own hand, fingertips resting on the back of He Zhao’s hand suddenly gripping
it tightly.
“……”
He Zhao really was going to explode this time.
The cab driver was still discussing his son. “He lost so much weight, my heart hurts for him.
Third year is exhausting. Endure… everyone just has to endure. No one gets to escape,
wouldn’t you say? When you get into a university, things will be better. So being tired now
is worth it…”
No one listened to the driver’s ramblings.
In the few minutes they had left, the two remained as they were, fingers intertwined.
Neither of them spoke or looked at each other. When the cab stopped and the driver was
waiting to collect the fare, he discovered neither of his passengers in the back seat were
moving. “Erzhong, wasn’t it? We’re here. Erzhong.”
Xie Yu was calm. He looked at He Zhao and gently moved his hand. Only now did He Zhao
come back to his senses, and his thoughts whirled once before he suddenly let go.
Xie Yu watched as He Zhao hurriedly fumbled for his wallet and even failed to count his
money correctly. The fare was thirty yuan but he only pulled out a twenty.
The driver held the twenty and was a little worried. “Can you count?”
Xie Yu’s discomfort had now all but vanished and he couldn’t stop himself from cursing.
“Idiot.”
“Thirty, was it. Ah, thirty.” He Zhao fumbled for a long time before pulling out a ten. “Sorry.
Heard wrong.”
Xie Yu circled around to the passenger seat, bent down, patted Wan Da’s face, and pulled
Wan Da out of the seat.
Wan Da walked as if he were stepping on cotton balls. Unsteady on his feet, he asked, “Ah?
Is it my turn to go on stage?”
“Yes, superstar,” Xie Yu said. “It’s your turn to go on stage.”
Wan Da was very happy. Looking at the streetlamps lining the road, he felt like he was
standing center stage. “What song would you like to hear?”
Xie Yu caught hold of his collar, dragging him toward the school. “How about Loyalty to the
Country?”
Wan Da immediately paused.
Ever since Dean Jiang had made Loyalty to the Country a school-wide wake-up call, the
song had become a shadow in every live-in student’s heart that could not be wiped away.
He Zhao paid the fare and came over to help. The two helped Wan Da walk, one on either
side. Many times they wanted to say something, but the words died on their lips; nothing
seemed suitable.
Aside from that, they still had to deal with Wan Da’s intermittent drunken outbursts. For
instance, when they were going up the stairs, he suddenly shouted, “Friends in the
audience, let me see your hands!”
He couldn’t see their hands so he stood in the stairwell and wouldn’t move.
“That is the stairwell, not the audience stand. You normally aren’t this annoying, are you?”
He Zhao was thoroughly defeated. “Don’t make me take action.”
Wan Da clutched the railing, adamant on keeping his superstar dignity.
Xie Yu had washed his hands of the matter and sat on the stairs to watch the show.
He watched He Zhao retreat several paces and wave, fulfilling Wan Da’s wish.
Wan Da waved excitedly back at him. “My fans, my friends.”
Xie Yu covered his mouth with his hand, stifling a laugh. “This is what you meant by take
action?”
“Don’t laugh.”
He Zhao reminded, “…Don’t tell anyone about this. I get embarrassed, too.”
They had classes the next day, and students had been trickling back into school since noon.
Both Wan Da’s suitemates were back, so when they returned the ‘superstar’ to his room,
Xie Yu leaned against the doorway and said, “Take care.”
Wan Da’s two suitemates had no idea the depth of meaning “Take care” had until Wan Da
jumped onto the bed and started dancing. “Damn it, how much did he drink?”
“Hey, take care of him,” He Zhao said. “If you really can’t stand it anymore, get a stick and
knock him out.”
They walked out of Wan Da’s dorm room and headed toward the third floor.
That oppressive atmosphere which made it hard to breathe had returned again.
Xie Yu suddenly remembered when, around second year in junior high, Zhou Dalei was
chasing his crush. Rumor had it the girl liked guys with talent, so he learned to play the
guitar and wrote a song, singing day in and day out in the street, “Oh baby, you are the rose
with thorns…”
Every time he practiced he was able to collect the many presents thrown at him by the
residents of Black Water Street—pots, crockery, plates, and even some bricks.
Only Da Mei provided positive moral support. “Bro, actually, your song is quite okay. Have
some faith in yourself.”
“Really? Is it really okay?”
Zhou Dalei’s injured soul clearly needed more comfort, so he glanced at Xie Yu, who took
his earplugs out of his ears and said mercilessly, “Are you done singing?”
So merciless it was hackle-raising. In response, Zhou Dalei had said, unhappily as he held
his guitar, “Boss Xie, you’ve never liked anyone. You don’t understand love.”
Xie Yu was, in matters of the heart, very cold.
But just because he left things unsaid didn’t mean he didn’t know they were there.
He didn’t like dragging things out. If something was wrong, just spit it out. Don’t make
trouble.
Before, someone with a crush on him who didn’t dare confess had made such a scene that
everyone knew, to the point it was as if something of significance really had happened
between them. Even Dalei had come over and wink-wink-nudged-nudged. “I heard that,
who was it, about that, did you two really…”
The next day, Xie Yu had gone in search of that person and said only two things:
You like me?
Sorry, I don’t like you.
He Zhao was annoying, too. And a big annoyance who got him mixed up in shenanigans, at
that.
Now that things had come to this, they couldn’t both keep playing dumb.
Xie Yu’s thought process was very simple. If there was something to say, he’d say it.
However he thought, whatever he wanted to do.
Walking to his dorm room door, He Zhao’s mind was full of fireworks going off. Like when
he couldn’t properly count out thirty bucks, he had opened the door, walked in, then closed
the door by the time he came back to his senses.
Xie Yu watched the idiot enter his room. “……”
Is there something wrong with him?
Xie Yu walked over, but before he could knock the door opened.
He Zhao stood in the doorway. “I…”
Xie Yu cut him off. “Are you drunk.”
“No.” He Zhao was a little stunned, but he quickly figured out what Xie Yu meant. He
paused, then asked in return, “Are you… drunk?”
Xie Yu said, “Idiot, what do you think?”
He wasn’t drunk.
It wasn’t the alcohol acting up.
It wasn’t a momentary impulse, either.
“You called me Zhao-ge before. Why idiot again?”
“You are an idiot.”
“……”
From the corridor came the sound of luggage wheels and the noise of several people
making a racket as they came down the stairs.
With incredible childishness they bandied, “you’re the idiot,” back and forth several times.
Then Xie Yu stood still in the middle of the racket and said, “He Zhao, you provoked me
first.”
You provoked me first.
Invaded his life with so much noise.
Insisting on breaking past all of his defenses.
The moment Xie Yu finished, He Zhao grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the dorm
room. Xie Yu’s back hit the door with a jolt of pain. “Damn, are you crazy?”
They were very close together. He Zhao’s arm was on the door by Xie Yu’s ear, and he
finally couldn’t hold it in any more. Even if Xie Yu crippled him when he said it, he was
willing.
“I’ve… never liked anyone before.”
“The one in front of me, my little friend called Xie Yu, is the first.”
He Zhao wasn’t sure how to say it. He had no experience confessing, and in Shen Jie’s words
he was EQ-challenged. After a pause, he continued. “Even though my little friend is bad-
tempered and beats people up at the drop of a hat, I still like him very much.”
“……”
“It’s a very serious like. I’m happy when I see him. I want to date him. I love him like my
life.”
When He Zhao was done confessing, he asked, “Did my bad-tempered little friend hear
that?”
The bad-tempered little friend very much wanted to punch someone right now.
Who says such things?
Asking for a beating.
“I’ve never liked anyone either.”
Xie Yu held back his desire to punch someone and said, “The idiot called He Zhao in front of
me is the first.”

Chapter 051 - Fuck, young love

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
He Zhao didn’t say anything for a long time.
The idiot probably didn’t expect that he would still be standing there with all limbs intact.
He usually had so many canned responses up his sleeve, but now he stood there like a
mute, pinning Xie Yu against the door and staring at him.
Xie Yu wasn’t aware that He Zhao was currently thinking, Damn, these fireworks have been
going off for a long time. Why are they not yet done?
Xie Yu’s wrist was still trapped in his hand and Xie Yu pulled a little. “Have you looked
enough?”
“……”
“No.”
Hearing Xie Yu’s voice, He Zhao came back to himself. He couldn’t help smiling a little, then
widely. He repeated, “No, I haven’t looked enough.”
Xie Yu’s words, “You provoked me first,” were originally going to be followed by, If you just
want to try something novel and fun, then I have no free time to play with you.
He wasn’t sure what exactly He Zhao’s ‘like’ counted for, so he chose to defend himself.
Almost pessimistically, he wanted a clean conclusion.
He even thought He Zhao would back off.
But He Zhao had not.
He had said that his feelings were very serious; the sort of like where he wanted to date
him.
Xie Yu felt he’d been infected by He Zhao. He started smiling, too, and couldn’t force the
corners of his lips down even if he tried. Very silly. So he moved his hand, opened the door,
and started to leave. “I’m going back.”
He Zhao didn’t hold him back but once he had taken two steps out of the room, He Zhao
called out to him again from behind. “Xie Yu.”
Xie Yu opened the door to his room, turned back and leaned against the doorframe to look
up at He Zhao.
He Zhao wasn’t done and called his name again.
Xie Yu was a little annoyed now and almost said, “Are you calling a spirit?”
He Zhao stood at the opposite door. The zip of his black jacket was only pulled up halfway,
a rebellious look. Xie Yu only now noticed that he had secretly put on ear studs.
He Zhao said, “Nothing. Just getting used to my boyfriend’s name.”
These words sounded familiar, as if Xie Yu had heard them somewhere before. Before he
could react, He Zhao continued, “Let’s take care of each other in the future, boyfriend.”
He remembered now.
On the first day of school, He Zhao had sat in the last row and called his name this way, too.
Saying, languidly, “Getting used to my new deskmate’s name… Let’s take care of each other
in the future, deskmate.”
Now He Zhao was saying these words again, but the relationship had changed from
‘deskmate’ to ‘boyfriend.’
What a strange feeling.
As if they had come full circle.
The two of them stood in their doorways, staring at each other, for a long time.
This felt a little like young lovers on the phone saying, “Goodnight, I’m hanging up,” even as
neither of them hung up, both being silly and listening to each other’s quiet breathing
instead.
“Go on in,” He Zhao said. “Rest early.”
Xie Yu turned, went into his room, and shut the door.
Xie Yu took a shower and did several mock papers. He thought he would be unable to
concentrate, but when he put pen to paper and started doing sums, he found he was fine.
He picked several questions, finished them, then flipped the page. When he had finished the
paper for each subject, he looked up from the sea of questions and discovered it was nearly
11 p.m.
Only when he closed his eyes and got ready to sleep did he suddenly clearly feel… his own
heartbeat, which had not yet calmed down.
Before falling asleep, the last thought that surfaced in Xie Yu’s mind was, Fuck, young love.¹
The next day, Dean Jiang punctually broadcast his event as scheduled in the morning. He
was never late and never absent. With his voice, he infused all the students in the
dormitories with energy. “Students, it’s a new day. Are you happy?”
The moment Dean Jiang started speaking, someone had already pulled their covers over
their head and groaned, “Ah… heavens…”
“This is inhumane…”
“Why is life like this to us helpless children?”
Dean Jiang was ignorant of the terrible state inside the school dorms and was still
immersed in his rah-rah speech.
“The mid-term exams are almost upon us! Dear students, are you excited? This is not only
an exam, but the season of harvest for your fruits of victory. Get out of bed… get out!
Students who want high grades!”
Xie Yu endured it for a while before he finally couldn’t endure any more. He stuck his hand
out from beneath the blankets, groping upwards, and retracted his hand again when he
couldn’t find his earplugs.
The corridor began to fill with people.
Amidst the commotion, many people called out, “Zhao-ge.” He Zhao made a round of
greetings, then walked to the door opposite his and knocked. “Old Xie, are you up?”
Xie Yu tossed his alarm clock in response, which crashed into the door, bounced back, and
rolled around on the floor twice.
He Zhao: “……”
Someone was watching from the sidelines. This scene repeated itself every day and, even
more strangely, He Zhao wasn’t angry. He squatted by the door in a good temper, waiting
for the lord inside to get out of bed and open the door for him. One guy couldn’t help going
up and asking, “Zhao-ge, this… is Xie Yu of the West Building this bad-tempered every day?”
“Yeah,” He Zhao smiled. “Cute, right?”
Before the guy left he wondered if he had heard wrong. Zhao-ge said ‘scary,’ right? Or did
he just not understand the word cute?
After another two minutes or so, Xie Yu got up and opened the door for He Zhao.
He Zhao hadn’t slept all night. After Xie Yu had gone back last night, he had deleted his
‘Aaaaaaa’ mood message. But after deleting it he wasn’t sure what to replace with it, so he
typed another string of ‘Aaaaaaaaaa’ and hit send.
Then he had lain wide awake until two or three a.m.
All he could think was: Xie Yu was his now. His little friend.
The moment He Zhao went through the door, he fell onto the bed. Xie Yu leaned against the
door and watched, unsure what was wrong with him. He had his own bed, so why didn’t he
sleep in it. Did he have to come over and take Xie Yu’s instead? “Didn’t sleep last night?”
“Slept at three a.m.,” He Zhao said, eyes half open. “Are you going back to sleep?”
Xie Yu said, “You took the bed. How can I sleep?”
“Boyfriend.” He Zhao scooched inwards to make space. “Come on.”
Xie Yu bent to pick up the alarm clock, then flung it at He Zhao again.
Over the intercom, Dean Jiang was still making his announcement. “Rising early is a very
good habit. For example, I wake up at 5:30 a.m. to breathe the fresh morning air. It’s during
this time you will understand just how wonderful life is.”
“……”
Xie Yu had hesitated before opening the door. He had just confirmed this relationship and
had not yet had time to let it sink in. In this brand-new relationship, this person, this idiot—
from today onwards, he wasn’t just anyone else.
Something had changed, but, at the same time, it seemed that nothing had.
He wasn’t sure how other people dated. Zhou Dalei’s ‘this is an example of what not to do’
relationship didn’t count.
He had imagined that he might not be too comfortable, or that it might be strange or
awkward. But when He Zhao had appeared he had stopped thinking.
He Zhao, who was the sort to be late every day for 10,000 years, was actually on time.
First period today was literature. Tang Sen praised and encouraged He Zhao to work hard
and keep doing well, then lectured Wan Da. “What happened? How come you’re late
today?”
Wan Da had drunk too much yesterday, and his head was still hurting when he woke up in
the morning. He really couldn’t get out of bed this morning, but he’d never admit that he
was hungover for fear his parents might be called in. So he frantically recalled how He Zhao
bullshitted every time he was late, and was finally able to come up with something. “It’s like
this, teach. This morning, Shen Jie from Class 8 had his illness flare up again.”
He Zhao: “……”
Xie Yu: “……”
Everyone who was at the birthday party yesterday and was in the know: “……”
And Shen Jie of class 8, who wasn’t even here: “……”
“His, that, something-itis.” Wan Da had forgotten what malady it even was; the name was so
damn long no one could remember it. He got halfway and then got stuck. “That gastro…”
He Zhao piped up from the back, “Chronic non-atrophic gastritis.”
Wan Da kept nodding. “Yes, yes, yes. That.”
Tang Sen had a lot of faith in his students and Wan Da was usually a fairly good student. He
had no track record of being late, and Shen Jie… his illness had indeed flared up several
times. So Tang Sen said, “Well done. If you see classmates who need help, you should help if
you can. But come to think of it, that student from Class 8 really needs to take better care of
himself. How did he land in the doctor’s office twice in three days…”
Wan Da was breaking out in a cold sweat, and sat down, shell-shocked.
Liu Cunhao and the others buried their faces in their elbows and howled silently with
laughter.
The class dismissal bell rang. When Old Tang had gone, they burst out laughing, getting
progressively louder. “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, Shen Jie of Class 8! Impressive, Wan Da.
You’re very impressive.”
Liu Cunhao rubbed away his tears of laughter. “What were you thinking?”
Wan Da said, “I was thinking of Zhao-ge. I wanted to do as he did.”
He Zhao couldn’t hold back his laughter either. “You can’t goddamn copy it exactly. If you’re
so good you could say you helped an old granny cross the road. Thankfully Old Tang is silly.
If it were Mad Dog, your dad might be on the way here to beat you.”
Wan Da scratched his head. “So scary? Surely it’s fine.”
“Good, my ass,” Xie Yu said. “Shen Jie is already on the way here to beat you.”
Wan Da: “……”
Liu Cunhao and the others howled with laughter again.
“Right, do you know what you and gym rep were like after you got drunk?” Xu Qingqing
smiled as she remembered. “This was the first time I saw anybody get drunk. It was really
something.”
When Wan Da woke up this morning, he didn’t remember anything that had happened the
day prior. He had asked his suitemates, but they had only shaken their heads. Of course, he
didn’t know that when he wasn’t fully conscious his former prediction that Class 3 would
‘take care of He Zhao and Xie Yu on their own’ had come true.² “What was I like? I was all
right, surely.”
Xie Yu didn’t want to say anything.
He Zhao didn’t want to go into too much detail, either, and said, “You’re too confident.”
Between classes, Shen Jie really did come over. He stood at the window and yelled, “Wan
Da, good for you! Do you know that I just met your teacher on the way back from the
bathroom? He asked me to take care of my health? I even thought I contracted a terminal
disease without even knowing it.”
When Shen Jie was done yelling, he glanced in his Zhao-ge’s direction out of habit. He found
that his Zhao-ge and the emotionless killer had put their heads together, talking about
something. It was a casual and ordinary scene, but he felt something wasn’t right.
He kept staring and discovered what wasn’t quite right… where were his Zhao-ge’s hands
wandering?!

Translation notes:
[1] This phrase describes high school relationships, and carries a connotation of the
relationship being an ‘early’ one since both parties are adolescents.
[2] Refers to the end of chapter 19.

Chapter 052 - Very eye-catching, as if he radiated light.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“Don’t move.”
“……”
“Stay still. Got it.”
One of Xie Yu’s hands was in his pocket, the other acting as a pillow for his head. He looked
down at the pen caught in his shirt. “What did you throw?”
He Zhao said, “My hand slipped. Really, my hand slipped.”
He Zhao had finally painstakingly found the pen he had lost for several days in the corner of
his desk compartment. Xie Yu thought He Zhao looked like a refugee, one so poor he
couldn’t feed his guests, who had suddenly received an unexpected windfall. “Did you see,
Old Xie? We have a pen now.”
Xie Yu lay on the desk. He hadn’t slept enough during the previous class period, so he made
a lukewarm noise of assent. He had wanted to continue sleeping, but that pen had flown in
his direction the very next second. If Xie Yu moved even a little now, it would fall to the
floor.
He Zhao was very close, his hands on top of Xie Yu’s thigh; it was ticklish. If his hands
wandered upwards just a few more centimeters they would touch something they
shouldn’t touch.
Xie Yu turned away and said, a little stiffly, “Hurry the fuck up.”
He Zhao hadn’t thought much of it, initially. He loved his pen like he would love the last
scion of his family. He finally realized when his fingers touched the pen cap.
Shen Jie stood at the window, waiting for Xie Yu to kick his Zhao-ge’s chair over, informing
him that people can’t just do as they please, that touching inappropriately came at a price.
But he waited and waited, and the class bell rang but Xie Yu still hadn’t moved.
The Big Bro of the West Building just let his deskmate touch him for a while and even
responded when He Zhao talked to him.
Surreal.
Shen Jie thought, I haven’t seen them for a few days and the world has completely
changed?!
The last class of the morning was gym. Luo Wenqiang, who had suffered all morning, was
now recovered from his headache and stood up excitedly. “Brothers and sisters, see you on
the court!”
He Zhao stood up. “If Old Wu sees you he’ll die of anger.”
During the math class just now, Wu Zheng had asked Luo Wenqiang to come up to the
board and solve a problem, but Luo Wenqiang had said he was too weak that day to hold
chalk. But now he was all fired up, as if he was about to take off his jacket and jump out the
window and onto the basketball court.
Luo Wenqiang opened his mouth, but Xie Yu, knowing he was looking for an excuse,
interrupted before he could speak. “Don’t go on about the spirit of exercise.”
“Old Xie.” He Zhao stood in the doorway. “Let’s go.”
Luo Wenqiang: “……” These two are really presenting a united front today.
“Two laps for warm-up.” The gym teacher squatted by the rostrum, a whistle in his mouth,
and said lazily, “Free time after you’re done.”
The moment Xie Yu saw the gym teacher, he remembered the push-ups training, and along
with it, the forum posts He Zhao had shown him at the sports meet. As he thought, he
unintentionally met He Zhao’s eyes.
They stood at the back of the line and neither one of them spoke. Xie Yu averted his eyes,
staring at the chaos on the soccer field. Someone walked by them with a bag of volleyballs.
Then Xie Yu discovered that He Zhao was pressing the back of his hand against his, whether
intentionally or not.
The gym teacher narrowed his eyes and said, “If you want sports equipment, go to the gym
rep. The gym rep will go to the equipment room to get everything all at once. Luo
Wenqiang, are you still playing basketball today?”
Luo Wenqiang replied, “Yes, of course we are.”
The gym teacher said, “We don’t know if there will be a basketball tournament this term. I
heard from the dean that he wants to try something new this year.”
“What ‘something new.’” Liu Cunhao had expended a great deal of effort getting on the
basketball team and had kissed up to the gym rep for a long time. “Because of what
happened last term?” The last two classes standing after the round robin were both too
competitive and almost started a fight. The classes had stayed enemies and glared at each
other for the whole school term.
The crowd murmured.
No one noticed the small movements of the two people in the last row.
The backs of their hands pressed together, they stayed that way, quietly, aware but silent.
“Old Xie,” He Zhao suddenly said.
“What?”
“Basketball later?”
“No.”
Luo Wenqiang walked to the front of the row and led the class in their warm-up run. He ran
backwards, hands in the air, and said, “Girls, follow Qing-ge! Stay in line and don’t fall
behind.”
He Zhao had been running at the end of the line, and while the gym teacher wasn’t looking,
he disregarded the line and ran forward one place, next to Xie Yu. He whispered, “Can you
run? Is your leg okay?”
He’d recovered long ago. It wasn’t a serious injury in the first place and it had healed
quickly. A few days’ rest had been enough.
Before Xie Yu could reply in the affirmative, Luo Wenqiang shouted, “Zhao-ge, what are you
doing? Formation! Formation! You’re too much.”
He Zhao waved at Luo Wenqiang and returned to the back of the line.
After jogging two laps and passing the finish line, everyone dispersed.
Behind the quad, near the equipment room, there were a few grassy patches where the
students not doing gym activities often sat to chat.
Xie Yu looked for a place to sit down, but then he remembered that Class 3’s study rep had
gotten a hold of him last time—Xue Xisheng really didn’t miss any opportunity—and had
pulled out a pocket vocabulary book, saying, “Xie Yu, let me tell you about word stems.
English word stems are very easy to remember, so I hope your English score will improve
in the mid-term exams…”
He had better look for somewhere near the basketball court to hide.
When Xie Yu appeared near the basketball courts, Luo Wenqiang’s eyes lit up. “Yu-ge!”
Luo Wenqiang had had his eye on Xie Yu for the basketball team from the start. No one had
seen him play yet, but they all thought he would be very good. Only Wan Da held the ball
quietly, remembering the last video game he had played with Xie Yu, then shook his head
despondently.
He really couldn’t imagine such a single-player type playing a team game.
He Zhao was taking off his jacket beneath the basketball hoop, leaving just a short-sleeved
t-shirt behind. He tossed his jacket to the side, and hearing Luo Wenqiang holler, he
glanced behind him.
Luo Wenqiang said, “Yu-ge, did you come over to…”
Xie Yu said, “No, I’ll just watch you all play.”
“……”
Luo Wenqiang was about to continue but Xu Qingqing called him from the gates. “Gym rep,
are there more badminton rackets? We’re short.”
Luo Wenqiang scratched his head and ran over. “Short? I got enough for everyone in the
class.”
He Zhao leaned against the basketball stand, drawing eyes just by being there. Once Luo
Wenqiang had departed, he bent to whisper in Xie Yu’s ear, “You came to watch us… or
came to watch me?”
Xie Yu thought, Neither. Came to avoid the study rep.
But He Zhao’s breath against his ear was warm, and when he spoke his eyes sparkled,
hinting fiercely at him. It was just about written on his face, Say you’re here to watch me.
Say it.
“Came to watch you.” Xie Yu decided to give him face, and sighed. “To watch my boyfriend.”
“Zhao-ge——” Wan Da urged. “Done?”
He Zhao smiled and replied, “Coming,” then patted Xie Yu’s head and said, “Watch closely.
I’ll show you how great a partner you picked.”
“……”
Great, not so much. Shameless, on the other hand.
The whole match, He Zhao seemed to be trying his utmost to draw attention to himself. He
played both fierce and hard. When he did a three-step layup and leaped into the air,
catching the wind, and his waist was faintly visible as he moved.
He snatched the ball then ran clear across the court. He dribbled the ball past people when
they were there, and when they weren’t, he dribbled the ball through air.
“Very good. Now we see Zhao-ge dribble the ball through thin air again. A perfect pass.
Perfect posture, brilliant and exciting. As if someone really was standing there.” Liu Cunhao
was the substitute for this round, and since he was sitting on the sidelines with nothing to
do, he started commentating. “Very awesome. Let us give Zhao-ge a round of applause.”
Xie Yu laughed, then called him mad.
He Zhao landed the basket before turning to glance in Xie Yu’s direction. He put his index
and middle finger to his lips, then blew a kiss.
The huge group of onlookers screamed in unison, “Ahhh—”
Excited discussion arose all around, trying to guess who the recipient of the flying kiss was.
The people in the area glanced at each other, searching for a clue.
But the true recipient of the kiss didn’t seem moved at all.
Xie Yu, leaning back on his hands next to the flowerbed, thought, Yes, quite cool.
He paused, then thought, Forget it. I’ll be compassionate. Take the word ‘quite’ away.
He was cool.
The drama king really was eye-catching. As if he radiated light.
After He Zhao had played for a while, the people playing with him couldn’t take it any more,
especially Wan Da, who felt completely useless on the court. If he took off his basketball
tank he could even rest with Liu Cunhao on the sidelines. He Zhao was carrying the whole
match, anyway. Didn’t even need support.
And the way he was posturing and feinting right and left, even his teammates didn’t know
what he was trying to do.
“Take a break, Zhao-ge,” Luo Wenqiang advised. Before He Zhao could reply, Luo Wenqiang
waved at the substitute. “Hao-zi, come up!”
He Zhao said, “…Are you even human? Who was it that begged me to come in the first
place?”
Luo Wenqiang said, “I was wrong, all right? Now I know why you said you were too good
and didn’t want to disturb us. Your self-assessment was very accurate.”
The price of showing off was that He Zhao was kicked off Class 3’s basketball team forever,
and the gym rep now deeply understood that the Big Bros of the East and West Buildings
were not beings he could control.
He Zhao walked off the court, disappointed. “They’re inhumane.”
Xie Yu said, “You’re inhumane, too. Is passing the ball to air that fun?”
The match began to grow exciting again. Liu Cunhao tried to pass someone with the ball,
but failed, and had the ball snatched by the other player.
He Zhao turned and asked, “Wasn’t I cool?”
Xie Yu replied, “Like an idiot.”
“……”
The two sat on the sidelines, watching the match. He Zhao took several gulps of water from
a bottle, then handed it to Xie Yu. “Drink?”
Xie Yu wasn’t thirsty but He Zhao handed it over so naturally that he just took it.
When his lips touched the mouth of the bottle, he felt a faint wetness, the condensation
rising from the drink inside——He Zhao had touched this place just now, too.
The same phrase surfaced in both their minds: Fuck, indirect kiss.
He Zhao suddenly felt that the half a bottle he had just drunk had been rendered
completely useless; his throat had suddenly gone dry. And his little friend’s lips were moist
and shining, and as he looked… he wanted to… ah, better stop looking.
He Zhao coughed and forced himself to keep watching Hao-zi and the others play
basketball.
Xie Yu wasn’t much better off. He held onto the bottle for so long his fingertips started
going numb, and only then did he return the bottle to He Zhao.
He Zhao scrambled to cap the bottle again. His fingers fumbled with the cap for a long time
before his hand slipped, the cap dropping to the ground and rolling around in the grass.

Chapter 053 - What's there to review? Might as well offer incense and
prayers.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
In Xie Yu’s seventeen years of living, he had never felt that he had very much youthful
ardor.
Before, Zhou Dalei and the others had secretly rented R-rated DVDs, hidden them from
Madam Gu and Dalei’s parents, and locked their doors, not even daring to breathe loudly.
The young Dalei had watched the tapes red-faced without averting his eyes. Xie Yu had
glanced at the screen twice, then booted up an old tube TV to the side and played on his
Famicom game console.
What had Dalei said back then? He had said, “Boss Xie, you aren’t asexual, are you?”
“What’s so special about it,” Xie Yu said. “It’s just sex, isn’t it?”
Zhou Dalei: “……”
Da Mei: “……”
But he was in a relationship now, right?
It was just drinking from the same bottle of water.
Why did his heart speed up?
A sharp whistle signalled the end of gym class.
The gym teacher walked out of the stadium and waved to Luo Wenqiang. Liu Cunhao, who
was holding the ball, used the last few seconds to jump and toss the ball into the basket.
“Class is over. Dismissed.” The gym teacher instructed the gym rep to pack up the
equipment.
Gym rep Luo Wenqiang couldn’t carry the whole class’s gym equipment, so He Zhao
jumped down from his perch next to the flowerbed and went to help. “I’ll take the rackets.
Old Xie, lend a hand?”
Xie Yu took half the rackets and the group walked in a line toward the equipment room. Liu
Cunhao was still holding the basketball, refusing to let it go.
“It’s all the fault of those two classes from last year. Idiots, the lot of them. They even
fought. What’s there to fight over?”
“I was there. It was really intense. In the end they just threw away the ball and started
fighting with their fists. Even the referees were stunned silly.”
The equipment room was big and divided into sections according to the types of sport. The
badminton rackets went on the innermost shelves. He Zhao lifted them up and stuffed them
in, then moved to one side to make space for Xie Yu. “I was at last year’s basketball match.”
Xie Yu said, “Oh, no wonder your class didn’t make it to the finals.”
“…..”
“Class 2 plays too dirty. No fun at all. We were eliminated in the first round.” He Zhao
thought back to how he had dragged the team down. “Compete on skill or not at all.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re good.” Xie Yu put the rackets back, straightening them somewhat
obsessively, and said, “You’re very good.”
The space between the shelves was narrow and could barely fit two people. At some point
He Zhao had moved to occupy the space opposite him, so when Xie Yu finished and turned
around he was nearly in He Zhao’s arms.
He Zhao laughed. “Little friend, is this an offering?”
“Offering what?” Xie Yu said. “A good dog doesn’t block the way. Move aside?”
He Zhao’s hand rested on Xie Yu’s waist, gently pushing through the thin fabric, nudging
him into a corner. They were both tall, but the corner was secluded, and Luo Wenqiang and
the others were busy chatting over by the basketballs and didn’t notice them.
The incident with the water bottle on the basketball court surfaced again in his mind as a
result of their covert actions.
“I’m not a dog,” He Zhao said. “I’m not moving.”
The atmosphere was just right and they had picked a good location, too. Xie Yu slowly
closed his eyes and saw He Zhao’s face drawing closer to his when he opened them again.
He gave He Zhao’s head a slap in reply. “Idiot. Cameras.”
He Zhao: “…..”
There were cameras, more than one, in the equipment room. It was a lot to manage so the
school relied on the students being aware the cameras were there. When equipment was
borrowed and returned every class period the gym rep had to register it on a form.
Xie Yu looked over and found that there was one facing them.
He Zhao internally cursed ten thousand times.
Luo Wenqiang and the others filled in the form, then came over. “Zhao-ge, are you done?”
Aside from Luo Wenqiang’s loud voice, Xie Yu could still hear He Zhao cursing under his
breath. The gist was Screw young love, I’m in a right and proper relationship.
He Zhao kept cursing. The gym rep was nearly to their corner and He Zhao was about to let
go but Xie Yu suddenly leaned forward and kissed him at the base of his ear.
It was warm, and very soft.
From the camera’s vantage point, it would look like one of them leaned closer to say
something, and one wouldn’t be able to tell what they really were doing.
He Zhao had been about to curse but the words got stuck and he said ‘Fuuuuu–’ for very
long and didn’t continue.
Xie Yu stepped away again, leaning back, and narrowed his eyes at He Zhao.
Luo Wenqiang walked over to the equipment racks, not noticing anything out of the
ordinary. “Done putting the rackets back? Let’s go back to class? Hao-zi and the others are
waiting outside.”
Xie Yu kicked He Zhao, who said, “Ah, going back to class? Then shall we go?”
The mid-term exams were nearing. Class 2.3 got a lot quieter and stopped horsing around
in class. Everyone was hugging the Buddha’s leg,¹ clinging onto the hope that cramming in
these last few days would unexpectedly result in good grades.
A line had formed in front of Xue Xisheng’s desk to ask questions, so he had no leeway to
catch Class 3’s two repeat offenders.
Wan Da, at the end of the line, realized he probably wouldn’t get his questions answered
during this class break. He sat in the empty seat in front of Xie Yu and groaned and sighed.
“The two of you… even have the free time to be playing video games.”
Xie Yu was very calm in the face of Class 3’s unprecedented atmosphere of anxiety. “What’s
there to review? Might as well offer incense and prayers.”
He Zhao was even more calm. “A few days ago, I bought a few couplets that guarantee
passing the exam. They should get here before the mid-terms. A master has blessed them.
Shall I give you two when they arrive?”
Wan Da: ”……”
These two… weren’t human at all.
Even got goddamned couplets that had been blessed.
Wan Da kept these thoughts to himself. Out loud, he said, “Then… then give me two.”
He Zhao’s couplets arrived the day before the exam. There were ten in a packet, each with a
red paper base and bold words written in gold. They looked extravagant and in one of the
lower corners in small print were the words Master Ling Hui.²
All of Class 3 sighed with amazement at seeing them. They all thought their creativity was
too weak. To go to this extent…
It rained the entire day before the exam. The next morning, the roads were still damp.
There was no more time to prepare. They studied all night, but didn’t even have dark
circles to show for their hard work of the last few days before the exams.
“Students, the weather is getting cold. Remember to wear a jacket! Welcome today’s exams
with a warm heart.” Mad Dog freely gave care and concern during his normal daily
broadcast. “As the saying goes, an army will train for a thousand days for a single battle.
Don’t have any regrets! Fight hard, students!”
They had ten minutes to move between exam rooms. Tang Sen pasted a seating chart onto
the podium, and Class 3 used every last second to memorize poetry and formulas. When
the bell rang, everyone picked up their writing materials and went off to their respective
rooms.
Xie Yu and He Zhao were still in the last division, in the exact same classroom as the
monthly exams.
There was basically no change to the group of people who assembled at the poor students’
gathering grounds. Some students’ positions were swapped, but that was all.
Even if they had cheated in the previous exams, the student they had copied from was in
this exam venue, too, so their grades wouldn’t be much higher. Six of one, half a dozen of
the other. Climbing several places from the bottom was already worthy of celebration.
Xie Yu sat in his seat and He Zhao sat behind him. The two put their heads together. “Old
Xie, I feel like I’m in good form today. I feel like I’ll get a good score.”
“Keep feeling,” Xie Yu said. “Feelings are all you have.”
He Zhao said, “Second-from-last, you have a superiority complex?”
Xie Yu: “I’m better than you, at any rate.”
He Zhao lifted a hand and patted the top of Xie Yu’s head.
After a while, He Zhao asked, “What do you want to eat when the exam is over?”
“Anything’s fine. Don’t ask Shen Jie along.” Xie Yu idly twirled a pen and said, “Every time
he comes along we end up fighting.”
He Zhao remembered their previous two dinner outings, slid right past the thought of
reflecting on his own behavior and that of his little friend, and came straight to the
conclusion that Shen Jie was the problem. “All right, let’s not ask him.”
The mid-term exams were much more important than the monthly exams—they were a
matter of life and death. After the grades were released, their parents would be waiting for
them. This time, the students in the poor students’ gathering ground were no longer
content to copy from each other and came up with new and creative methods. “I’m… selling
answers. Take one less beating. Anyone need them?”
The others swarmed him. “What answers? How much are you selling for?”
“Two hundred a set. I’ll send it to your phone. Instantly.”
“Two hundred? Robbing a house while it’s on fire,³ are you?”
The student selling answers said, “Yeah, exactly.”
The students in the poor students’ gathering ground had backbone. Due to the expense, no
one bought it.
“The first subject is literature. Your handwriting should be neat and you must answer the
questions according to guidelines. The exam duration is 120 minutes.”
The invigilating teacher was Old Tang from their class and the history teacher from the
class next door. If not for Old Tang, probably no one would be willing to take on the task of
supervising this exam group.
In the words of the other teachers, even if they copied answers, no matter who they copied
from the result would still be about the same.
“Analyze the question carefully, and don’t stray off topic in your essay.” Tang Sen fixed his
gaze on He Zhao. He was really a little worried; he wanted them to do these two things
right, if nothing else. “And watch your handwriting. If we can’t read it, we can’t give you
points.”
Xie Yu looked at the essay question first. While he considered how to answer, he also
wondered how a certain idiot would run away with the topic.
The zero-point ‘Silhouette’ essay was, to this day, still circulating amongst the students in
their year.
Erzhong’s papers were not as difficult as those of other schools. The questions were usually
very conservative and followed the standard format. Xie Yu finished answering, estimated
he would score about 50-60 points, then slumped on his desk to sleep.
The moment he laid his head down he heard He Zhao calling him.
He Zhao called his name quietly twice more, then tapped the underside of the desk with a
finger. “Old Xie.”
Rain started to drizzle against the window outside. Wind blew in through the crack in the
window, slightly chilly.
Xie Yu remembered the monthly exams and stretched his hand out behind him. “Passing
answers again?”
He Zhao said nothing.
But the hand which Xie Yu had stuck under the desk hadn’t had time to more than grasp at
the air before He Zhao caught it. He grasped Xie Yu’s fingertips first, then moved upwards
to hold his hand.

Translation notes:
[1] ‘hugging the Buddha’s leg’: last minute prayers. Part of an idiom that tells a story of
someone who doesn’t bother burning incense during the day-to-day, but then when they
urgently need help, come to the Buddha statue and hug its leg while praying for help.
[2] Ling Hui: a name consisting of the characters for ‘spiritual’ and ‘wisdom’
[3] Robbing house while it’s on fire: taking advantage of a bad situation

Chapter 054 - What to do when boyfriend doesn’t study

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The exam room was quiet, even as people played their little tricks.
Old Tang walked toward the podium, unaware that the moment he passed by a row of
desks, wads of paper filled the air.
“No answers.” He Zhao’s palm was empty; no little note this time. Xie Yu’s hand was cool.
He Zhao said, “I wanted to do this last time, too.”
The rain made ripples against the glass window.
After a while, Xie Yu asked, “Are you done?”
He Zhao said, “No.”
“……”
“Let me hold on a while longer.”
Xie Yu paused. He was speechless, but also amused. “Idiot.”

Seeing Old Tang about to walk past them again, the idiot finally let go.
Old Tang stopped in front of He Zhao’s desk for several minutes, looking at He Zhao’s
answer paper, the creases in his forehead growing deeper and deeper. Finally, he sighed,
his expression complicated as he looked at the answer sheet which was full of writing on
both sides. “……”
When Old Tang had gone, He Zhao poked Xie Yu with a pen. “What was that about?”
“Zhao-ge, look downward at the answers you wrote down,” Xie Yu responded. “You really
don’t know?”
Xie Yu helplessly thought that this idiot probably truly wasn’t aware.
As a student with grades so bad even eight bulls could not pull his grades to the passing
line,¹ He Zhao likely even had full confidence that he had answered well.
The morning exams had ended and everyone compared answers during the midday lunch
break.
“Zhao-ge, your couplets didn’t work. I got many of the math questions wrong.” Wan Da
passed the ‘guaranteed pass’ couplets back to He Zhao. “Keep them for yourself.”
“I think they don’t work, too,” He Zhao said as he picked up his phone. “During the first
literature exam, Old Tang even sighed at my exam paper. I’ll go ask the seller.”
Xie Yu wasn’t sure what his boyfriend was doing. “Ask the seller about what?”
“Ask him if we used it right.”
“How else are they to be used? Burn them and drink the ashes?”
“Surely not that evil…”
The group discussed it for a while before the seller replied. ‘If your heart is true it will
work.’
‘If your heart is true it will work.’ He Zhao pushed the couplets into Wan Da’s hand again.
“Shall we work on our emotions again this afternoon?”
Xie Yu thought, Why does it seem like He Zhao is just messing with him?
But Wan Da actually took the bait. “All right, I’ll try again this afternoon.”
The exams lasted two whole days. When the last paper was finished, everyone felt only one
thing: exhaustion. To help everyone relax, Liu Cunhao put on a comedy film. The film was
halfway through, the classroom still silent, when Liu Cunhao finally asked anxiously, “Why
aren’t you laughing? Isn’t it funny? Cheer up.”
Wan Da said blandly, “Turn it off. I really can’t laugh. By the way, Master Ling Hui is
currently the person I hate most.”
“I’m going to die.” Luo Wenqiang slumped on his desk. “I need to carefully consider my
survival plan.”
Only He Zhao was very obliging and enthusiastic. “This movie is good! Aren’t you watching
it?”
Xie Yu went out to take a phone call.
Last night, Lei’s mom had asked him when his exams ended, and Dalei had immediately
called after the exams.
Zhou Dalei was squatting in an alley and stubbed out his cigarette when Xie Yu picked up.
He switched his phone to his other hand and said, “Boss Xie, you’re done with exams?”
“Mm.”
“Let’s get together. Aunt Mei learned some new recipes a few days ago and keeps going on
about cooking them for you when you come over.” Halfway through, Dalei turned and
clicked his tongue at someone at his side. “Bastard, you’re still messing around? Hold it
right there. If I don’t kill you today I’ll write my name Lei-zai backwards.”²
Something didn’t sound right. Xie Yu asked, “What’s up over there?”
“Nothing.” Zhou Dalei walked out of the alley and the commotion grew fainter. “Someone
stole something. Damn it, got the guts to steal in this neighborhood. I’ll show him the power
of Black Water Street when we get together.”
Xie Yu understood. “Don’t hit too hard.”
Dalei kept walking and seemed to think of something that lightened his spirits. “Boss Xie,
do you remember when Wang-ma got us all up in the middle of the night to chase the petty
thief? Damn, that was some night. Scared me to death wondering what the hell had
happened.”
Xie Yu leaned against the wall, gazing through the window into the classroom. He felt as
though he had returned to the familiar small street where the Community Environment
Review score was never high.
He was a little dazed.
It had happened quite a few years ago. One night, in the middle of the night, a thief had
broken into Wang-ma’s house.
The thief had crouched under the window outside, not daring to jump over the sill and into
the house. He stared up atWang-ma for a long time, never having guessed that a middle-
aged lady could be this powerful. Pots, pans, and dishes rained down on him and she
shouted loudly enough to wake everyone who lived on her street. “Thief! Thief!”
The petty thief also had not imagined that he would not be able to escape. He jumped down
along the pipe by the side of the house, but had not even regained his footing before a
slipper crashed into his face.
Lei’s mom, in her nightgown, took the slipper off her other foot and yelled from her
balcony, “Over there! I see you! Still running? I’ll beat you dead.”
A night of chaos.
They had chased the thief down three blocks.
Xie Yu and the other kids had been part of the group, too, running here and there.
That summer, even the night wind was warm.
Before handing the thief over to the police, they trapped him against the wall where he
begged for mercy. “I’m never coming here again.”
“What are you stealing for?” Aunt Mei stood right in front, rolling up her sleeves. “Chin up
and let’s talk. Don’t be afraid. I won’t really beat you to death. At most, half to death so I can
explain something to you.”
Madam Gu had not assimilated very well to life on this street. Her education and values led
her to not believe in beating people at the drop of a hat; they could send the thief to the
police station without needing to get violent.
Madam Gu had dragged him home by his ear. “What on earth are you joining in for?”
Xie Yu came back to himself enough to say, “Just for this weekend. I didn’t have anything to
do, anyway.”
“Sure.” Dalei generously accepted.
They chatted a while longer.
Xie Yu stood in the bend of the stairwell. He Zhao had slipped out of class at some point
and, while no one was looking, wrapped his arms around Xie Yu’s waist from behind,
leaning forward to ask, “What are you doing?”
Zhou Dalei was about to hang up when he heard that on the other end of the line.
The voice was very low and very close, as if right next to Boss Xie’s ear. The tone lilted at
the end, sounding nothing but flirtatious to his ears.
The voice also sounded familiar.
Zhou Dalei was shocked. “Who was that? Something sounded very inappropriate there!”
Xie Yu said, “Yeah, you got me.”
He Zhao, who had been called inappropriate out of nowhere, said, “Ah?”
“Oh, you’re that—I remember you, we met at the station.” Xie Yu gave him a quick
reminder. He Zhao had a good memory and had not forgotten the experience of squatting in
the police station and writing a reflection essay. He felt that he had to buddy up to his
boyfriend’s friend, so he thought hard and finally came up with, “Friend, you wrote a good
reflection essay. Brilliant style.”
Xie Yu: “……”
Zhou Dalei’s freshly lit cigarette almost fell out of his mouth. “……”
“Who on earth is this?!” Zhou Dalei then thought through the words ‘at the station’ and how
shameless this person was, then remembered. “Is it the… the handsome devil with the
mask?”
He Zhao was very close to the receiver and Zhou Dalei was speaking loudly. He answered
shamelessly, “Yes, that’s me. The most handsome guy in the station.”
He Zhao was a person who was easy-going by nature and could chat with anyone whether
he knew them or not. Xie Yu couldn’t bear to listen any more. “How shameless can you get?”
Zhou Dalei actually did want to keep chatting with this guy. “Ah, Boss Xie, what a
coincidence. You’re in the same school? Friends?”
Xie Yu paused, then said, “Mm, friends.”
Boyfriends, even.
Zhou Dalei didn’t think in that direction so Xie Yu didn’t mention it, either.
Although they had to be on the down-low in school, Xie Yu had no intention of keeping his
relationship under wraps. If Dalei really asked about them some day, he would probably
admit it. Boyfriend. Surprised?
After Xie Yu hung up the phone, He Zhao asked, “You’re going back home for the weekend?”
“Mm,” Xie Yu said. “Going to my godmother’s.”
He Zhao thought about it. “The ground snake godmother you met on the streets?”
Xie Yu hadn’t thought that He Zhao would remember his offhand remark. Although Aunt
Mei was a little hot-tempered and gave off the air of a mafia aunt, she was an upright
businesswoman after all.
The school dismissal bell rang and everyone packed up their things before trickling out of
class. Grades had not even been released yet but already people were happy or worried. Liu
Cunhao and the others stood in the classroom doorway and glimpsed them from afar, then
waved. “We’re going.”
One of He Zhao’s arms was resting on Xie Yu’s shoulder. In this position, he waved to Liu
Cunhao. “Bye.”
Liu Cunhao was no longer shocked by this scene. They had already held hands in class in
public and even had a dedicated CP thread on the school forum.
Xie Yu went back to his dorm room to pack his things and He Zhao followed closely behind
every step of the way.
He picked up several sets of clothes, then turned around, about to pick up his phone to
charge, but crashed headfirst into He Zhao instead. “Can you sit down somewhere quietly
for a while?”
He Zhao said, “Can’t be quiet when I think that we won’t see each other for two days. 48
hours. 2880 minnutes. 172800 seconds.”
Xie Yu was only concerned with pushing him onto the bed and didn’t realize something
wasn’t quite right, like how quick He Zhao’s mental arithmetic was.
“Sit down.” Xie Yu pushed He Zhao down onto the bed, then, holding back his anger, patted
He Zhao’s head and said angrily, “If you say something that stupid to me again, I’ll punch
you.”
He Zhao: “……”
Xie Yu didn’t go straight to Black Water Street. He went to the Zhong household first.
Madam Gu was currently preparing food and didn’t even remove her apron before coming
to the door. “You’re back? Why didn’t you say something?”
Gu Xuelan asked him a few more questions—something about how the cafeteria food was,
if he had gotten thinner, and how the mid-term exams had gone.
Xie Yu picked up an apple from a bowl of fruit and leaned against the kitchen doorway. “It
went fine.”
The word ‘fine’ was ambiguous, who knew what he really meant.
“What’s ‘fine?’” Gu Xuelan said. “Are you going to be second from last place again?”
Xie Yu said nothing and Gu Xuelan didn’t press the matter, either. Inexplicably, she started
talking about the last in the year. “Your deskmate. The one that gets last place every time?”
Gu Xuelan finished, then added an ‘Aiyoh.’
Actually, Xie Yu sometimes felt the same way Madam Gu probably felt now.
Madam Gu had originally intended to make two dishes, but now she cooked several more
and was busy in the kitchen.
Xie Yu sat on the sofa and waited for dinner. He looked down at his phone and typed out in
the search bar, character by character, what to do when boyfriend doesn’t study.

Translation notes:
[1] very bad grades
[2] The gist is ‘I’ll kill you today’, and the last part is just for emphasis.

Chapter 055 - Considering buying you a treatment plan.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
There were many threads on the topic, and Xie Yu clicked into a recent one.
This question had been asked three days ago.
The poster had gone off on a long tangent, praising his boyfriend so excessively he didn’t
even seem human anymore, before he got to his point: But his grades aren’t very good. He
places second to last in every exam. How can I improve his attitude toward studying?
The most popular reply: How about setting a goal? For example, an improvement of a
number of points or setting a target university to get into.
The OP had replied, It doesn’t need to be all that great. Tsinghua or Peking U is fine.
“……”
The words ‘second to last’ made Xie Yu’s eye twitch, and he felt like the OP’s tone was
somewhat familiar.
He didn’t think more on it, scrolling down instead to the topics with subjects like, ‘What to
do with a child who doesn’t like to study.’ The parents in these threads were all anxious,
resulting in the conversations eventually turning into parenting discussions.
Where are you working now?
State-owned enterprise. There’s a lot of competition. It’s tough.
“Dinner’s ready.” Gu Xuelan carried the last dish from the kitchen to the dining room before
removing her apron and saying, “Put down your phone. Don’t carry it everywhere…”
Xie Yu hit the off switch and the screen immediately darkened. “Got it.”
Four dishes and a soup, all common home cooked dishes.
Zhong Guofei ate at home if he got off work on time. He was probably out entertaining
tonight, so Xie Yu and Madam Gu were the only ones at the table.
Xie Yu ate a lot of every dish then put down his chopsticks to go upstairs. But Gu Xuelan
was still staring at him.
“You ate so little.” Madam Gu always felt her son didn’t eat enough. “Are you full? How
about another bowl of soup?”
Every parent probably fed their children like they were raising pigs.
Xie Yu took another bowl of red date and egg soup. When he was nearly finished, he said,
“Mom, I’m going to Aunt Mei’s tomorrow.”
Gu Xuelan’s hand stilled on the soup ladle, but she did not comment further. “Be careful and
don’t make trouble. Come back early.”
Gu Xuelan didn’t like him visiting Black Water Street so often.
From her perspective, they had only lived under those conditions out of necessity and had
been fortunate to meet good people. But their outlooks on life were not the same. Lei’s
mom and Aunt Mei showed affection through scolding and yelling, and the two even
sometimes smoked together outside.
Gu Xuelan had imagined that after moving away, after one or two years, or two or three,
their ties to Black Water Street would fade.
But Xie Yu, a child of few words who seemed to care about nothing, had developed feelings.
In the evening, Xie Yu searched again for ‘what to do if you don’t like to study.’ After digging
through the internet, he didn’t find any good ways of fostering a love for studying, but he
did find a lot of questionable ways. For example, injuring one’s head in a car accident or
getting struck by lightning. Some were even selling quack medicine.
—Miracle knowledge pill! New high-tech product. Increase your intelligence, develop both
the left and right brain, and easily raise your grades. No need for car accidents or lightning
strikes! One thirty-day course!
Xie Yu stared at it for a while, thought about He Zhao’s grades, and actually considered
placing an order.
Xie Yu kept scrolling, looking for the pill’s ingredient list. Before he could make sense of it,
he received a phone call from He Zhao.
He accidentally hit the speakerphone button while picking up the call and He Zhao’s words
rang in the air. “Little friend, what’re you up to?”
Xie Yu thought, Considering buying you a treatment plan.
“Nothing.” Xie Yu had just finished showering and his hair was still damp. Talking about the
knowledge pill was definitely off the table, so he asked, “What about you?”
He Zhao said, “Thinking about you.”
His voice was both serious and sentimental as it echoed in Xie Yu’s ears.
The next moment, He Zhao’s hard-won EQ immediately crashed again when he said, “This
is the correct answer. Remember it.”
“……” Remember, my ass.
Actually, He Zhao had held back for a long time already. He Zhao had wanted to call Xie Yu
the moment he left. He had endured until the time he thought Xie Yu’s family would
probably be done eating supper.
He Zhao thought of Xie Yu’s stepbrother, the one who acted like a lord tyrant, and said, “Did
that low-IQ bully my little friend?”
“He’s not here.” It took Xie Yu a moment to figure out who He Zhao was talking about. As to
who was bullying who, it might even be the other way around. “He can’t beat me in a fight,
anyway.”
All these years, Zhong Jie had never been able to take advantage of him. Not in a fist fight or
in a verbal fight.
The two kept chatting, on and off.
“Right, Old Xie. Did you mute the class group chat?”
“No, I check it sometimes.”
“I thought the study rep might have driven you away. That math formula he pinned, n=c*v,
has been up all day to the point I even memorized it.”
“……”
What was the use in memorizing it? That was a physics formula.
Was he hoping to get formula points by writing a physics formula down on a math exam
paper?
Xie Yu felt helpless. “Then you’re doing very well.”
Class 3’s secret group had quietly disbanded a long time ago. Since discovering that their
school tyrants didn’t actually beat people up, and that the teachers were all very
reasonable, they didn’t see the need for their own private group chat any more. It seemed
contrary to team spirit.
And their homeroom teacher was an old man who went to bed early and didn’t hover over
them.
The nighttime life was for young people.
Class 3’s group chat was very active. The study rep changed his status every day to a
different formula, and he never forgot to slip them some tidbits of knowledge even while
chatting and having fun.
Every time Wan Da appeared, the chat became a gossip circle—you could practically see
everyone’s little stools and melon seeds.
The classmates who participated in the group chat all had active personal lives. On the
weekends, Xu Qingqing had to accompany her mother out shopping, and often vented in
the class group chat while standing in the entrance of a clothing store with her arms full of
bags. I! Hate! Shopping!
Then Liu Cunhao and the others would console her. None of us guys like going shopping.
You really are our Qing-ge.
Xie Yu didn’t know what to say. He was a conversation killer, and he very rarely spoke in
the ‘Don’t fight’ group chat, either.
There was nothing to talk about, but the two still chatted late into the night. He Zhao was a
seasoned jokester, and even mundane things became interesting when he spoke about
them.
Xie Yu was a little sleepy.
Night had completely fallen and the only light in Xie Yu’s room was from his phone screen,
glowing softly.
He Zhao heard his little friend’s voice grow quieter and his replies become monosyllabic.
His tone seemed soft and surprisingly obedient, and He Zhao couldn’t help softening his
own tone, too. “You fell asleep?”
There was no response from the other side.
But even through the phone, he felt their breathing entwine.
He Zhao couldn’t bear to hang up the phone.
He was satisfied, yet somewhat dissatisfied.
“Recently I’ve noticed…” Even though Xie Yu couldn’t hear him, He Zhao still whispered, “…I
might be getting addicted to being in love with you.”
Xie Yu’s thoughts were not nearly so romantically inclined.. But perhaps at night one
dreams of what one thought about during the day, because that night, he dreamed about He
Zhao.
It was a very strange dream. He dreamt that He Zhao finished the college exams and
became an excavator operator.
What a nightmare.
He woke up and tried to calm himself for a long time but failed.
Xie Yu got up, washed his face, then couldn’t keep himself from cursing at the mirror. “Fuck
it.”
The early morning bus wasn’t crowded. Xie Yu put his earbuds in his ears, intending to
sleep on the bus.
The bus tilted from side to side, especially when making turns or when emergency braking.
Xie Yu dozed for a long time, but didn’t fall asleep. He was terrified that when he shut his
eyes he’d see He Zhao smiling at him from an excavator’s cabin. He opened his eyes and
saw the endless flow of traffic outside the bus window, as well as the roadside stalls selling
breakfast.
He got off the bus at his station, then looked down and sent Dalei a text. Had breakfast yet?
Nope. Meet you at Wang-ma’s?
Get me five meat buns. Be right there.
Wang-ma had originally opened a roadside stall selling breakfast before buying a small
shop after accumulating some savings. The children here had all grown up eating her food
and missed it when they couldn’t have it.
Xie Yu found a spot, sat down, and waited for a while before sending a text to hurry Zhou
Dalei along. The moment he sent the text, he looked up to see a bowl of piping hot beancurd
placed in front of him.
“Saw you from afar, kid.” Wang-ma put down the beancurd. Her hands were still damp and
she wiped them on the apron around her waist. “The buns are still steaming. Nearly done.
Have this first to fill your stomach.”
“Wang-ma.” The shop’s condition wasn’t great, and puddles of water and mud covered the
floor. The shop didn’t have space for all the tables and chairs, so some were placed outside.
Xie Yu held the spoon, smiled, and said, “I haven’t ordered yet.”
Wang-ma said, “How would I not know what you and Lei-zai want to eat? I can take your
orders with my eyes closed.”
In the time it took for her to say this, Dalei arrived, wearing slippers, his eyes still bleary. He
scratched his head as he walked through the shop entrance, then stretched out a hand to
signal. “Wang-ma, give me five.”
Aunt Mei was still busy at Guang Mao and would be free around noon. Xie Yu played video
games in Dalei’s room all morning on a red and white Famicom console and an old tube TV
they hadn’t yet thrown away. “You still have this?”
“Nostalgia,” Zhou Dalei said. “Most importantly, it still works! I can’t believe how sturdy it
is.”
As Xie Yu played, he recalled some things from the past, too. “When you were small, your
mom bought that—what was it— for you. Did it help after you ate it?”
Zhou Dalei scratched his head. “What thing?”
Xie Yu said, “The thing for improving memory and intelligence.”
For the sake of Zhou Dalei’s grades, Lei’s mom had tried all the sketchy things, and had
even made him drink couplet water. But none of it had been of any use in the end.
For a while, broadcast TV had aired a commercial selling a miracle health product for
children. Change their life and change their fate. Give your child a headstart in life. It had
been an extended commercial lasting half an hour. Lei’s mom had instantly called the sales
hotline and ordered two big boxes.
Zhou Dalei remembered now. “Oh, that. Look at me now. Does it look like it worked?”
Xie Yu: “……”
Xie Yu thought, Yeah, that’s true. I’m an idiot.

Chapter 056 - “No time right now. We can talk when I’m done
fighting.”
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Dalei’s house was the same as before. Even the television set still had the same dent on top
with a crack running down the screen. Just looking at it gave Xie Yu a sense of familiarity.
Da Mei had broken it by accident. At the time, he had jumped from shock and said, “It’s not
broken, no way…”
Da Mei had even concocted a plan to sell himself to repay the debt.
But Dalei had waved a hand dismissively and said, “There’s no way it’s broken. Even if it
was, my mom would thank you. This television has a very strong will to live. Mom has been
waiting for it to break so she has an excuse to get a new one for a long time… look, it’s fine,
isn’t it?”
Xie Yu played for a while, then stopped. He pushed the pile of blankets on Dalei’s bed into
the corner, freeing up some space for himself, then sprawled with his back against the
headboard and looked down at his phone where he had pulled up the class group chat.
[Liu Cunhao]: I’m telling you, my dad came home drunk last night. He hugged the toilet
bowl, passionately called out my mom’s name, and my mom nearly kicked him into it.
[Wan Da]: Your dad’s a lot, isn’t he.
[Luo Wenqiang]: Is he still alive?
He Zhao had woken up early and Xie Yu had received a text from him. Before he could
reply, he saw He Zhao making his presence known in the group chat.
[He Zhao]: The two of you, stop messing around.
[He Zhao]: Compared to Hao-zi’s dad, you’re worse in every way. Do you want me to recite
all your heroic deeds here?
Faced with the threat of blackmail, Wan Da immediately sobered up.
[Wan Da]: …Ha ha ha, I… I just remembered I haven’t finished my homework. Friends, see
you later.
[Luo Wenqiang]: See you later.
Xie Yu watched as the two who had said ‘See you later’ surfaced again soon after,
complaining that there was too much homework.
In the time they had spent idly chatting, they could probably have finished a problem set.
Zhou Dalei got bored of playing video games alone and saw that his Boss Xie seemed to be
in good spirits. “What’s got you so happy?”
“Group chat,” Xie Yu explained succinctly. “Someone got drunk and thought the toilet bowl
was his wife. Too much homework.”
Zhou Dalei: “……”
Zhou Dalei: “Ah.”
If not for Zhou Dalei’s long friendship with this young master, he wouldn’t have understood
what on earth Xie Yu was talking about. Xie Yu hoarded his words like gold, and his
conversation partner had to fill in the blanks for himself. He told stories in a roundabout
manner, too.
After saying, “Ah,” Zhou Dalei noticed that something was wrong. What was it?
“Damn it… your class group chat?” Two minutes later, Zhou Dalei tossed away the red and
white controller and jumped up.
Xie Yu: “What kind of reaction is that?”
“A surprised reaction,” Zhou Dalei said. “I… I would’ve never guessed.”
Xie Yu thought about closing the chat, but He Zhao’s words from last night kept echoing in
his ears. About the class group chat, and about the study rep… Xie Yu hesitated for a while,
then decided to leave a mark of his presence before leaving.
He went through the emoji list and found a rather warm, smiling face.
All the students in Class 2.3 who were online at the moment now saw in the chat window
an expression that did not at all suit their youthful aesthetic sense of someone reserved,
chilly, and with a mocking gaze.
Xie Yu: [/Smile].
[Wan Da]: ……
[Liu Cunhao]: ……
[Luo Wenqiang]: ……
The chat instantly went silent.
Only their Zhao-ge wasn’t fazed at all.
[He Zhao]: Good morning, Old Xie. Had breakfast yet?
Xie Yu tapped on the screen. Before he could respond, He Zhao called. Xie Yu was still a
little sleepy, and when he answered the call he said, “I’ve eaten. What about it?”
He Zhao laughed and said, “Nothing. Just wanted to hear your voice.”
“The correct answer, again?”
“…No.” He Zhao thought that his little friend might have misunderstood. “Where are you?”
“At the house of the one who wrote a good reflection essay.” Xie Yu glanced at Zhou Dalei’s
bed, which resembled a dog’s nest. Although he judged it a little, he hadn’t had any other
place to sleep. He continued, “…Anything else? If not, I’m going back to sleep.”
Fuck. Still going back to sleep?
He Zhao connected the two thoughts and thought it rather serendipitous. “Where are you
sleeping?”
Xie Yu said, “On the bed. Where else?”
“Ah.” A moment later, He Zhao said quietly, “My little friend’s sleeping in some other man’s
bed?”
“……” Are you crazy?
Zhou Dalei was still sitting on the ground, playing the video game. Xie Yu suddenly felt a
little uncomfortable flirting with his boyfriend in front of his bro of many years. “I’m
hanging up.”
He Zhao had been joking. He only wanted to hear some gentle words, but now he thought it
was probably better that he didn’t. It was his little friend, after all, so anything was fine.
“Mm, sleep well, then.”
He Zhao hung up the phone, a lollipop in his mouth as he put his phone to one side. He
glanced back down at the mock paper he was doing, read the questions, then thought about
how to answer. His phone screen lit up again.
It was a text.
From the cutest little friend in the entire world: Other man my ass.
It was only a few simple words, harshly phrased, as chilly as always. But He Zhao stared at
them for a long time, and by the time he came back to his senses, he was in no mood to
think about practice questions at all. He wanted to go out and run a few laps around the
quad and yell at the top of his lungs.
Fuck!
Let’s read between the lines!
This is a confession!
He’s mine alone!
Xie Yu tossed his phone aside after sending the text and slept till noon when Zhou Dalei
woke him. “Boss Xie, look what time it is. Lunchtime is nearly over but Aunt Mei still isn’t
back? I’m starving.”
It was bright outside. Sunlight shone in through the balcony window. Noise filtered in from
the alleyway; it sounded like a couple arguing, and the whole street could hear every word.
Xie Yu sat up and looked outside. A woman on the opposite balcony was eating melon seeds
while listening, and every two seeds she muttered under her breath, “…arguing about what,
exactly? Just fight it out. You’ll be arguing till the cows come home.”
Perhaps Xie Yu had slept too much, or perhaps it was because he had been woken up, but
his left eyelid kept twitching. He lifted a hand to press on it lightly. “Ask her.”
Zhou Dalei called her but no one picked up.
It took several more calls before someone picked up. Xu Yanmei said that she was busy and
told them to get food from a restaurant and wait until she got home that evening… then the
call cut off.
“She said she was busy. Probably stuff to do over at Guang Mao.” Zhou Dalei stuffed his
phone back in his pocket and stood up. “How about it? Shall we go out to eat?”
There weren’t many restaurants in the area, just a few Shaxian² places, all empty. Aside
from the shops that clearly weren’t doing honest business, there were only roadside stalls
to visit.
“Lei-zai, long time no see.” The shopkeeper waved warmly at the familiar face. Zhou Dalei
had wanted to keep browsing, but now they couldn’t not go in and eat. “Have a seat. What
do you want to order?”
Zhou Dalei found a window seat, sat down, and said, “Two servings of the specialty dish,
then.”
Xie Yu picked up a pair of chopsticks. “You know him?”
“Not well, but if you say my name in this shop you get a 20% discount,” Zhou Dalei said. “…
When the boss gets to a level in a phone game he can’t beat, I help him beat it.”
Hearing the words ‘phone game’ now made Xie Yu think of dressup games and the like…
Zhou Dalei claimed that he was a pro who dared play any game that dared show its face in
the app store, but he probably hadn’t stepped into this realm of games before.
They chatted on and off, and the smell of oil and smoke wafted from the kitchen alongside
the sound of a gas stove. After about ten minutes, the boss brought out two plates of
gaifan.¹ “Two specials. Enjoy!”
After delivering the food, the boss walked back to the kitchen where there were two
workers wearing aprons.
Xie Yu had just touched his bowl and had yet to reach for his chopsticks when he heard the
workers talking, their voices leaking out through the door the boss had opened. “Guang
Mao? I heard… yes… a fight…”
They were chatting when the kitchen door suddenly opened again, revealing the chilly
expression of the boy who had only just now been sitting at the window seat. “What fight?”
Both of them were stunned, and recovered just enough to say, “Ah, a fight at… Guang Mao.
Someone’s causing a scene there. A whole group of them. There might be a brawl.”
Zhou Dalei had only taken two bites of his food before a rather angry-looking Xie Yu
dragged him outside by the collar. After leaving the shop, he looked extremely confused.
“What are you doing? Was there poop in the food?”
“What did Aunt Mei say to you just now?” Xie Yu didn’t let go. “What did she say?”
Down the street from here, after taking a left, was Guang Mao.
Zhou Dalei also could tell something wasn’t right. He recalled, “‘I’m busy right now, might
be late going back.’ Then nothing.”
Now, thinking about it, Comrade Xu Yanmei’s tone had been too gentle. Before, if a delivery
had been half an hour late, she would curse—without repeating a single word—for half an
hour. But today, not only was she not angry thather precious time had been wasted, she
was even very calm.
Xie Yu let go. “Let’s go.”
“Ah?”
“Let’s go take a look.”
He Zhao followed the route on his map application and changed buses twice before arriving
at a location which looked similar to the image from a certain person’s social media feed.
The moment he got off the bus, he almost tripped on the road full of potholes.
He Zhao had struck up a good conversation with a grandpa sitting next to him. When they
got off the bus, the grandpa had even invited him to go back to his house for a chat.
“Next time.” He Zhao was surprised at how welcoming the people here were, but he
refused. “I have something to do.”
The grandpa kept pressing. “What’s so urgent? Let’s just have a drink.”
He Zhao smiled. “Looking for someone. Someone very important.”
He Zhao couldn’t tell if he was being impulsive or not. After getting the text that morning,
he had managed to hold back the urge to run laps, but he hadn’t managed to restrain
himself from coming over here to look for a certain someone.
He wanted to see him.
He really wanted to see him.
But He Zhao made a few circles round the block and couldn’t find his destination. Not only
did he not know where his friend from the station lived, he didn’t even remember his name.
When Xie Yu got He Zhao’s call, he was still in Guang Mao’s doorway. They were on one
side, facing a group of angry-looking, heavily tattooed gangsters on the other. Swords were
drawn and arrows notched.
He Zhao didn’t have time to say anything before Xie Yu said, stick in hand, “No time right
now. We can talk when I’m done fighting.”

Translation notes:
[1] Gaifan: a simple low-cost dish, usually fish/meat and vegetables with rice.
[2] Shaxian: A country in west-central Fujian.

Chapter 057 - “Came looking for you.”

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“……”
“A fight? Like a fistfight?”
Xie Yu absently hummed in assent, then walked forward. The stick in his hand scraped
loudly against the muddy floor.
Zhou Dalei, who wasn’t yet prepared to fight it out: “……”
Xie Yu seemed to be a fight magnet. And in all the fights Zhou Dalei had been in growing up,
he likely wouldn’t have managed if Grandpa Xie Yu hadn’t been around.
Every time Xie Yu stood on smoking battlefields like this, he didn’t even need to speak. Just
one glance from him could rile his opponent up from the bottom of his heart: All right, you
want a fight, do you? You look down on me, do you? You think I can’t beat you, do you?
At this point, Zhou Dalei reached out and tugged at Xie Yu. “Boss Xie, at least wait until I
find a weapon.”
Xie Yu handed over the stick in his hand. He could go at it with his bare fists, anyway. “Now
you do.”
“……”
Xie Yu was too eye-catching, and even the group staring them down couldn’t help noticing
that among the Guang Mao lot was a boy who looked like he was itching to start a fight.
They raised their voices and started yelling. “Fine! We’ll have it out today! Mei-jie, we
usually respect you as the big sis of this place but you’re getting full of yourself.”
“Why fucking bother talking rubbish with them?” The head guy shook the ash from his
cigarette, slouching as he walked. “We came here to trash the place!”
Having heard everything, He Zhao’s thoughts of, ‘When I see my little friend later, I’ll give
him a surprise. Damn, I’m a model boyfriend. When I appear in all my splendor, my little
friend will be moved to death, and then we’ll hold hands and walk down the street
together, so romantically,’ immediately shattered.
He Zhao squatted on the corner of an unfamiliar street, looking at the haphazard skyline of
the residential area ahead, and noticed the words Guang Mao.
He thought, My little friend’s violence-filled days really are exciting.
Xie Yu hung up the phone, walked up, and asked quietly, “Who are you and what do you do?
You can’t mess around on the streets like this forever.”
Xie Yu listened to them for a while. They were spouting a load of rubbish and he didn’t
catch a single useful piece of information. Who knew what trivialities had made them
assemble here today. He had initially listened patiently, thinking they might say something
new, but they threw insults left and right, greeted eighteen generations of his ancestors,
and even repeated the curses they used like a broken record. When it came down to it, they
only seemed to know those few curse words.
“Just some riffraff. Very annoying. From North Street. I really fucking…” Xu Yanmei’s voice
was still hoarse from just having smoked a cigarette and she subconsciously reverted to
cursing. She abruptly stopped herself mid-sentence and glared at Xie Yu. “What am I
doing… I should be asking you that. What are you doing? Lei-zai, you’d better take him and
go.”
Zhou Dalei stood to one side and immediately said, “You think I can move him?”
Xu Yanmei: “……”
Simply put, several days earlier, several truckloads of goods had arrived for Xu Yanmei. She
hadn’t had enough help at Guang Mao, so she had asked the supervisor to find several more
people. The supervisor, being greedy, had taken a cut from the budget and then gotten
workers of dubious background to do the job.
After the goods had been moved, when the supervisor took stock, he found the quantities
weren’t right.
Before he could settle the score with the temporary workers, they retaliated first. They
stuck around on the ground floor of Guang Mao and refused to leave, complaining that they
were good people who had been wronged and falsely accused, and demanded
compensation for emotional injury.
It sounded preposterous.
But things like this happened here nearly every day.
They weren’t cultured, and order was not well-maintained here. Many people dropped out
of school and would rather make a living on the street, making a few ‘lifelong’ friends and
forming small gangs and sects. Although they didn’t gain any traction, they still had a little
power.
They couldn’t do menial labor for a lifetime.
And yet they arrogantly fell in with gangs and thought themselves better for it.
Xu Yanmei had been at a standstill with them for such a long time because she didn’t want
to really fight them. Perhaps she was getting on in years and growing more merciful,
wanting to show mercy where she could. She had intended to scare them down, but this lot
of trash was the sort who wouldn’t cry until they saw their graves.
While Xie Yu wasn’t looking, Xu Yanmei threw away the cigarette butt she had finished
smoking but couldn’t bear to toss. “Damn it. Can’t hold back any more.”
“Trying to get one over on me,” Xu Yanmei said. “And what psychological damage. Medical
bills, on the other hand, I’ll consider.”
Xie Yu said, “Fight’em.”
Zhou Dalei said, “Give them a proper beating and they’ll be good.”
Passersby were now all watching the excitement. But people from around here watched on
with stone-cold faces; after all, scenes like this happened every day. No one called the
police. This was standard practice. People from the streets solve their problems on the
streets.
Xu Yanmei said, “You two can fight over my dead body! Get back, quick!”
There were about a dozen people on that side and a dozen people on this side.
The two groups of people hemmed and hawed for nearly half an hour. Xie Yu twisted his
wrists, about to start and be done with it, but then he heard the voices around him grow
several pitches higher.
Xie Yu turned to look and saw a line of people walking over from the other side of the
street, all carrying weapons. The one in front, leading the group, looked in high spirits.
Although they didn’t know what was going on, the sea of onlookers parted to give them a
way through.
“……”
Xu Yanmei glanced over, too. “Who is this? What are they doing?”
Zhou Dalei kept looking, and saw something familiar. “This guy… looks a little familiar?”
Xie Yu said nothing but cursed internally.
“Eat some more. How does it taste? If it’s good, get another bowl of rice!” By the time Xie Yu
had come back to his senses, he was sitting at Aunt Mei’s dinner table. He poked at the rice
in his bowl with his chopsticks, then watched as Comrade Xu Yanmei picked up a piece of
barbecued pork, passed him by, and placed it in the bowl of the person next to him.
He Zhao said thank you many times. “It tastes very good. This barbecued meat is fat but not
greasy, and seasoned perfectly.”
Aunt Mei put another piece of barbecued meat into He Zhao’s bowl. She was delighted at
the praise and said proudly, “No need to thank me! Don’t stand on ceremony.”
“……”
Xie Yu put down his chopsticks. He didn’t want to talk.
Zhou Dalei, on the other hand, had no such reservations. He was overjoyed. “Ah, just now…
that was brilliant. Bro, where did you find so many people?”
He Zhao said, “At the internet cafe one street over. Flash mob.”
Zhou Dalei: “……”
When He Zhao arrived at Guang Mao with his crowd, he had made a big show of defusing
the situation. He was very good at putting on a show, and the ragtag lot had really taken
him for a powerful street figure. Zhou Dalei had watched the whole thing with growing
admiration and he was squatting on the ground, laughing so hard he clutched his stomach
by the end of it all. “Boss Xie, your schoolmate is really something. He’s destined for
greatness.”
Xie Yu thought, Yes, the future Excavator Big Bro. Can he be anything but formidable?
Aunt Mei’s dining room was a small space barely cordoned off from the living room. If she
was hosting many people, they would set up a big round folding table in the back garden.
But they would have to check the weather report first and pick a calm and auspicious day.
If Xie Yu leaned backwards, his back would touch the wall.
“What’s the matter?” He Zhao put down his chopsticks, his hand dropping below the table
to touch Xie Yu’s. “Why aren’t you eating?”
Xie Yu took a long time to say, “Just resting.”
Xu Yanmei had a very good first impression of He Zhao. He was the first classmate Xie Yu
had brought home, and he was silver-tongued and good at conversation. In the end, Zhou
Dalei didn’t get to eat many pieces of the barbecued pork because it all went into He Zhao’s
bowl.
“Aunt Mei, don’t give him any more.” Xie Yu watched Aunt Mei endlessly grabbing food for
He Zhao and said, “He can’t eat any more.”
Only now did Xu Yanmei put down the chopsticks and say thoughtfully, “I do seem to have
fed him a little much.”
It sounded like she was feeding a pig.
Having fed him, Xu Yanmei kept holding on to him. “How is our Xiao-yu doing in school?
He’s impulsive. If you can stop him, try to talk to him a little.”
Xie Yu tried to convince Comrade Xu Yanmei that the few fights he had had this semester
had all been with the person currently standing in front of her.
He Zhao immediately said, “Our Xiao-yu… no, your Xiao-yu, he… does quite well in school.”
Xie Yu’s left eyelid twitched. He had a bad premonition.
As expected, the very next moment, he heard He Zhao start in on his nonsense. Something
about being attentive in class, hardworking in his studies, being a team player who loved
his friends and was respectful of the school rules… all these things came out.
Worried He Zhao would get more and more preposterous with his praise, Xie Yu grabbed
He Zhao’s hand under the table.
Xu Yanmei did not notice anything amiss. She felt a little embarrassed at the praise, and
stepped up to mention a flaw. “Our Xiao-yu’s grades are a little less than ideal.”
“It’s fine,” He Zhao said. “I’m even less ideal than he is.”
Xu Yanmei: “……”
Zhou Dalei had not eaten lunch and was starving, so he was currently stuffing the leftover
barbecued pork into his mouth.
Xu Yanmei turned and went to the kitchen to cut some fruit. She wielded her fruit knife like
a weapon, the sound of it crashing down quite terrifying.
Xie Yu was still clutching He Zhao’s hand and hadn’t let go all this time. He rested one finger
lightly on He Zhao’s hand, crooking it as he asked, “What are you doing here?”
He Zhao leaned close to his ear and whispered, “Came looking for you.”
They didn’t keep talking. Their eyes met, and suddenly nothing needed to be said.
Xie Yu averted his eyes, feeling his ear where He Zhao had bent to talk to him now burning
up.
Xu Yanmei was blustery, but the plate of fruit she made looked good. There was even an
exquisite ring of walnuts arranged around the rim.
He Zhao hesitantly asked, “This is…?”
Xu Yanmei dusted off her hands, walked out of the kitchen, and said bluntly, “Eat up. It’s
good for your brain.”
Xie Yu: “……”
He Zhao: “……”
When they left, their hands were both stuffed with bags of walnuts, already peeled. Enough
to last them a long time. Carrying the red plastic bags, Xie Yu’s feelings were complicated.
He Zhao, on the other hand, seemed quite happy. This joy lasted all the way to the bus
station as he walked side by side with Xie Yu and waited for the bus. He finally couldn’t
hold it in any more. “Does this count as meeting your family?”

Chapter 058 - You like to study, don’t you.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Whether it counted as meeting the parents or not, He Zhao had acted like it was. He did
everything he could to gain Aunt Mei’s favour, as if he, and not Xie Yu, were her godson.
“It counts.” Xie Yu took two steps forward. “So remember to eat all the walnuts the family
gave you.”
He Zhao looked down at the bags in his hands, and it kind of dimmed the joy of his prior
son-in-law visit.
Just now, at the dining table, they had not said much to each other, worried they’d let
something out of the bag. Besides, they had been focusing on their little movements under
the table. So, Xie Yu only complained now. “You looked the part of a leader this afternoon,
Zhao-ge.”
He Zhao said, “It was all right. When I walk down the street, I feel like the whole street
belongs to me.”
“You’re taking my sarcasm for sincerity?”
The buses here ran every half an hour, and the previous bus had probably just left. The bus
stop sign hung crooked and there were no seats in the waiting area. It looked very run-
down.
He Zhao hadn’t noticed when he had arrived. Now he looked for a place to sit and only saw
four bare stumps. He could imagine what the seat that had previously been there looked
like based on the stumps. “This place really has character…”
When Xie Yu had returned for summer vacation, the seat had already been like this. Zhou
Dalei had even squatted on the side of the street, waiting for him.
“It was stolen a while ago. Then the police found it.” Xie Yu briefly summarized the theft
which had made waves in the community, then paused and said, “It was probably stolen
again.”
The chair of the neighborhood committee was always the busiest person on the street,
running herself ragged to take care of the smallest of matters in the neighborhood. Every
three or five days one would see the members of the neighborhood committee wearing red
armbands, yelling through megaphones, “Where’s the well cover?! —Which one of you
stole the well cover?!”
“Who broke the bus station sign? And the bus station seat? What are you going to do with it
after sawing it off?”
He Zhao was very entertained. “That really happened?”
But wait, there was more.
They had later discovered that the well cover had been stolen by a ruffian from the next
street over. Of course, the residents of the next street weren’t so altruistic as to admit it, so
the people from the two neighborhoods had started quarrelling. It had gone on for so long
they made the local news.
He Zhao asked, “Then you fought?”
Xie Yu said, “We didn’t fight. Do we look like such hooligans?”
“Don’t… you?”
“……”
It hadn’t escalated into a fight, but in the middle of the night, some aunties from the Black
Water Street Neighborhood Committee had gone to the next street over and stolen their
well cover back.
The neighboring street had never imagined such a thing would happen, and everyone was
slack-jawed the next morning.
Xie Yu finished his story, then noticed He Zhao was standing in a daze. He stopped and
waved a hand in front of his face. “Hey.”
Xie Yu waved twice, then got impatient and tried to slap him and be done with it. But He
Zhao caught hold of his hand, his fingers weaving through Xie Yu’s, then he said quietly, “…
Before today, I’d only seen this place in your photos.”
What He Zhao did not say was that now that he had come to visit for himself, those photos
began to come alive… the animals that scurried from the grass, dirty from scuffling in the
mud, the mud drying in patches on their fur as they lay, eyes closed, under the sun.
Every brick, every building, and every sound from the surroundings.
Now he realized where Xie Yu’s contradictory yet alluring nature came from. He shut out all
the evils of the world with a hard outer shell, a dry attitude that kept people at a distance.
But the soft place in his heart had remained spotless.
He Zhao had a lot to say, but eventually only held on to his little friend’s hand and said, “I
think there’s no hope for me.”
Xie Yu listened to the plastic bags rustling, thought of the walnuts, and quietly thought, I
think there’s no hope for you, too.
With a brain like his, eating walnuts would probably be of no use.
They waited a while more. Half an hour went by but the bus hadn’t arrived.
Xie Yu wanted to know what time it was, but he had forgotten to charge his phone last night
and the battery had run out. When he unlocked it, the screen barely lit up before going dark
again. He nudged He Zhao with his elbow. “Where’s your phone?”
He Zhao said, “Pants pocket, left side.”
Xie Yu’s fingers came to rest on He Zhao’s pocket. The material of his jeans was rough, and
before he could reach in He Zhao reminded him, “Don’t touch anything you shouldn’t.”
Xie Yu stopped. “In your dreams.”
19：21.
It wasn’t late yet, but it wasn’t early, either, and the ride back would take more than an
hour.
Xie Yu thought about it and decided to call Madam Gu to report in.
He Zhao’s home screen was very clean with only a few apps. The games folder was full, but
Xie Yu only caught sight of several pink icons and a familiar-looking blob of green in the
corner.
Xie Yu didn’t look closely. He was trying to hit the call button on the lower right corner but
touched the browser icon to its left.
It was a matter of privacy, after all, and Xie Yu had no intention of snooping into his
partner’s phone. He reacted faster than he could think, reflexively hitting the back button
and returning to the main screen.
But he was very sure that he had caught sight of something quite unusual on the browser
page.
Xie Yu hesitated a moment before opening it again.
Baidu Knows: Ten must-learn kissing tips.
“……”
Xie Yu glanced up at He Zhao, who was playing with a stray cat that had popped out of the
grass. He squatted by the side of the street, plastic bag in one hand, his other hand
outstretched. He whistled for a while, but the cat continued to watch him warily.
A while later, with no other recourse, He Zhao snapped his fingers, still squatting. The
image was cool, but it scared the cat, who whined, turned tail, and squeezed back into the
underbrush.
“What are you running for? I won’t eat you…”
He Zhao was about to stand up when he noticed his little friend squatting by his side, too.
He turned and asked, “Done calling?”
Xie Yu passed the phone back. “No one picked up.”
Madam Gu had probably gone out and left her phone at home again. He didn’t like calling
the Zhong household directly, since it was usually the maids who picked up and they
greeted him as ‘Second Young Master.’
Young master, his ass.
He Zhao didn’t yet know that his secret Baidu research on kissing techniques had been
exposed. He took his phone back and stuffed it in his pocket. As he stood up, he heard Xie
Yu calling him. “He Zhao.”
He Zhao’s footsteps stilled and he glanced to the side. “Mm?”
Xie Yu was still squatting, but he followed He Zhao’s earlier motion of inviting the cat and
beckoned with a finger.
He Zhao stuck one hand in his pocket, bent down, and stopped some distance from Xie Yu.
He was about to ask, ‘What does my little friend want?’ when, without warning, Xie Yu
caught hold of his collar and dragged him down.
Xie Yu’s fingers tightened, exerting strength, his knuckles whitening slightly. He Zhao was
bent at the waist and nearly lost his balance. Although Xie Yu was squatting, his pull made
him rise up a little, too, violently and inexorably forcing them closer.
The next second—
Xie Yu’s lips met his.
He Zhao froze completely.
And his heart started pounding wildly.
He had researched many kissing tips, but at the critical juncture he had forgotten to close
his eyes.
So he saw Xie Yu’s slightly upturned face and the beautiful line of his jaw. He swallowed,
perhaps out of nervousness, the motion subtle and nearly unnoticeable but completely
different from his usual strong presence.
Xie Yu stayed there for a while, then slowly opened his eyes, too.
Just like that, He Zhao forced his way into Xie Yu’s line of sight.
The streetlights behind them shone on the muddy ground, cutting a circle of beautiful light
through the darkness.
Xie Yu recalled the contents of the article he saw on He Zhao’s phone, so he tentatively
stuck out his tongue and touched He Zhao’s tightly pursed lips, soft and wet.
……
Xie Yu had completely forgotten the rest of the must-learn kissing tips, too. He only
remembered that He Zhao’s lips were very soft, and when he touched them, he went warm
all over.
Before Xie Yu let go, He Zhao heard him say, “You went to Baidu instead of coming to me.
Zhao-ge, you like to study, don’t you.”
The bus was just turning the corner. The number 21 shone in red across the top, and as the
bus’s long body rounded the turn, it tilted heavily on the uneven, potholed road.
They were both heading back to A City and had to change buses on the way. They took the
same bus: 21 to the interchange where they would take separate buses.
Worried that He Zhao would repeat his previous mistake of not even being able to count
out thirty yuan, Xie Yu paid the fare for both of them and led the handsome devil to the very
last row.
Not many people took the evening bus and there were only two or three people sitting up
front. The bus’s interior lighting was poor, and since there weren’t many people, the lights
were turned off most of the time. From afar, it looked completely dark.
In the corner of the back row, they were virtually unspottable.
For a long time, He Zhao didn’t say anything. Xie Yu was still thinking that his
embarrassment period lasted quite a long time when he heard He Zhao say, “Fuck, I’m
hard.”
“……”
“Happened when you licked me just now.”
Xie Yu had still been calm up till now, but the moment He Zhao mentioned ‘licking,’ all the
little details of their earlier kiss now resurfaced. He paused for a long time, then said, “Ask
Baidu, won’t you?”
He Zhao: “……”
Xie Yu said, “What to do if you get hard on a public bus?”
Reality proved that there was nothing to be done. He Zhao couldn’t sit next to his little
friend, that was all. He crouched and moved over to the seat in front, intending to calm
down on his own.
They sat, one in front, one behind.
The bus trundled on.
When He Zhao calmed down, he cleared his throat and said, “So about that… Baidu.”
“Accidentally saw it.” Xie Yu huddled in the back seat, slightly dizzy from the bus’s motion.
“What on earth do you think about every day?”
Since that day in the equipment room after gym class, He Zhao hadn’t mentioned kissing
again, and Xie Yu thought it strange that he had suddenly become so pure-hearted and
chaste. He had never imagined he was planning to practice his kissing skills before
approaching him again.
He Zhao said nothing. He looked down at his phone and tapped away, then passed it to Xie
Yu.
Xie Yu reached out to take it. On the phone screen was an article Shen Jie had reblogged on
QQ called The Young Man’s Guide to a First Kiss, and when he reblogged it he had even
mentioned his good bro He Zhao: Zhao-ge! Look! Good stuff!
Some first kissers are killers. After the first kiss, your partner won’t want a second one.
If you don’t want to become a ‘killer,’ you must follow these steps.
Xie Yu was rendered thoroughly speechless. “What the hell did Shen Jie reblog this for?
Isn’t he a single dog?”
He Zhao said, “…He said it was preparation for the future.”

Chapter 059 - Thirty points, but to him it’s thirty points of happiness.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
They fell into silence for a long time.
Now, thinking back, He Zhao was shocked by the turn his own thoughts had taken. He had
even believed Shen Jie’s bullshit, to say nothing of the rest—to have been caught by the
collar, dragged up, and kissed by his little friend like that… he would have been willing to
do it a hundred times over!
A moment later, He Zhao cleared his throat and said, “That… let’s just forget this
happened.”
Xie Yu leaned back, the lights from the streets passing by outside falling onto his face. He
couldn’t help smiling. “No can do.”
“……”
“It’s too idiotic. I won’t forget. Zhao-ge.”
He Zhao had opened the window to let in the cool air to calm himself down, and now
several strands of hair were blown up by the wind.
He was very image-conscious. He would rather have his neck broken than let his hair be
messy.
Xie Yu watched as He Zhao took out his phone and used the front camera to check his hair.
Due to the poor lighting, the image on the screen was poor quality, so he could only reach
up and run his hand through it to smooth it down.
Xie Yu looked on for a while, arm resting on the windowsill, and complained, “No one’s
looking at you anyway.”
He Zhao kept running his hands through his hair, then said, “A hot guy must maintain
himself.”
Maintain. What nonsense.
It was too dark in the bus and He Zhao hadn’t noticed a single piece of hair still sticking up
on top of his head.
Xie Yu reached out, fingers winding gently into He Zhao’s hair. As if stroking a cat, he patted
his hair down, twice. He Zhao’s hair had grown out a little. Xie Yu remembered that when
they had just met, He Zhao’s hair had been very short, and even a little prickly to the touch.
“……”
He Zhao froze for a moment. When he came back to his senses, he noticed that the camera
app he had used to check his hair was still open, so he called out, “Old Xie.”
Xie Yu looked up at him. “Ah?”
He Zhao hit the camera button, capturing two indistinct shadowy blobs.
The image was still, but one could see from it the motion of the bus interior, the streetlights
that shone in from outside, and the faint silhouettes of two people, one in front and one
behind.
“Group photo.” After He Zhao took the photo—artsy-looking, never mind that no one would
understand it, anyway—he made it his home screen wallpaper.
The bus had stopped announcing the stops. It wound to and fro among the streets before
finally slowing to a stop on some street corner and opening its front door.
No one got on.
The driver yelled out the door, “No one? If no one’s there I’m driving off. This is the last bus
—”
He Zhao was done changing his settings. At the sound of the driver’s voice, he looked up
and glanced outside. He caught sight of the tchotchke store by the bus stop and thought it
looked familiar.
Xie Yu followed his gaze, too.
“I think I’ve been here before.” He Zhao put away his phone, got up, and sat back down in
the back seat. He leaned against his little friend and enunciated, “Jian… Jian Xing Store.
There’s an internet cafe near here, if I’m remembering right?”
This area was not far from Black Water Street. The bus had taken many turns and hadn’t
gone very far as it kept circling in this area.
There was indeed an internet cafe right behind the tchotchke store.
Xie Yu asked, “When were you here?”
“Summer vacation,” He Zhao said. “A friend asked me over, so I came. I was bored at home.”
He didn’t even remember where they had arranged to meet, just that he had looked for the
place when he got here.
The half-hour bus journey passed quickly in conversation.
Before getting off the bus, He Zhao thought he might want to keep riding the bus for
another couple rounds.
“Friend, this is the last bus.” Xie Yu pushed his boyfriend off the bus. “What are you
thinking?”
He Zhao stood in the doorway and said, “I want to stay with you a while longer.”
This time, Xie Yu didn’t kick him. The bus driver, on the other hand, wanted to. The bus
driver sat in his seat and waved them off. “Are you two getting off or not? Why are you
dawdling?”
Xie Yu: “……”
He Zhao: “……”
Once they got off the bus, the pick-up point was just around the corner. Xie Yu changed to
the 3 bus, and He Zhao took the Song Ting line; they were going in opposite directions.
After paying the fare, Xie Yu boarded out of habit.
The bus would not set off for another few minutes and the engine rumbled as it idled.
At this time of night, only a few buses were left at the interchange and several people were
trickling into the pick-up point.
Xie Yu leaned against the window and looked out. He saw a certain idiot get off the Song
Ting line bus, not even bothering with the final step and jumping right onto the ground.
Then the idiot boarded the 3 bus from the rear door and walked past the rows of seats to
stand in front of him.
Before Xie Yu could even say, “What did you get on here for,” He Zhao bent down and
kissed him possessively. Completely different from the previous kiss and a little rushed.
Brazen and unpracticed, with an uncontrollable impulse, violently drawing closer.
He Zhao moved quickly. Xie Yu wasn’t the only one who didn’t react in time; the other
passengers didn’t know what this boy had rushed onto the bus in a wild hurry to do, either.
They only saw them together for several seconds, then the boy stood up again and left
through the rear doors.
“Looking for someone, not riding the bus, sorry.” He Zhao waved to the driver before he
left, then he turned and said to Xie Yu, “I’m really going this time.”
“…Get lost faster.”
Xie Yu’s words were harsh, but after the bus had travelled several stops, he lifted a hand to
his ear and found that it was still burning.
The weekend passed quickly, and amidst the anguished complaints of ‘I don’t want to go
back to school and get my grades’ in Class 3’s group chat, Sunday was about to come to an
end.
Xie Yu packed his things and glanced at the class group chat before he went to bed.
[Liu Cunhao]: Why did the weekend pass so quickly? I haven’t fully enjoyed my last two
days alive on earth.
[Wan Da]: And our teachers are so hardworking, too. They even brought our papers home
to grade. Did you see Old Tang’s text? He said grades would be out by Monday. Hao-zi, have
you decided where you want to be buried after you’re dead? I want my ashes to be
scattered over the sea. Facing the ocean, where the springtime is warm and the flowers
blossom.
[Liu Cunhao]: I prefer burial. Dust returns to dust and dirt returns to dirt.
[Xu Qingqing]: You’re all sick, right? It’s just a midterm exam.
[v-=abc]: It’s never too late to study. One failure doesn’t count for anything. The important
thing is to correct your attitude towards studying.
[Luo Wenqiang]: Study rep, new formula again?
After a while, He Zhao popped into the group chat, too.
[He Zhao]: Quickly? What?
[He Zhao]: I think these two days have passed so slowly.
[Luo Wenqiang]: ……
[Wan Da]: This isn’t like you, Zhao-ge.
[Liu Cunhao]: Zhao-ge, you’re tired of living?
Their Zhao-ge not only didn’t look like he was tired of living, he even went against
character and arrived in the classroom bright and early the next morning.
“You’re very early today.” Liu Cunhao was on duty today and had to arrive early to face his
terrible fate. “So early it’s even a bit weird.”
He Zhao looked up and smiled. “You say it like I’m late every day.”
Liu Cunhao was shocked. He was about to say, ‘Aren’t you?’ but decided not to. He shook his
head, then took the washcloth to the bathroom to wash.
Xie Yu had gone to the breakfast place outside school and gotten a cup of soymilk before
coming to class. As he paid, he saw Mad Dog and Old Tang having breakfast in the shop.
Holding his drink, he couldn’t bring himself to leave just like that. “Dean Jiang, Mr. Tang.”
Old Tang nodded at him, swallowed his food, then waved him over. “You’re just drinking
soymilk? Is that filling? Come, sit down and eat a bun.”
“No need. I…”
“What’s this about no need? Come over.” Mad Dog dragged out the plastic stool next to him,
thoroughly demonstrating the principle of ‘abuse of power.’ “Or else you’re barred from
school.”
Xie Yu held onto the meat bun, listening to Dean Jiang complain about the school cafeteria
food. “What meat buns? Three bites in, there’s still no meat.”
Old Tang nodded. “The first time I ate there I thought there wasn’t any filling at all.”
Dean Jiang said, “It doesn’t taste good, either.”
Xie Yu: “……”
Outside school, Dean Jiang was quite reasonable. Even if this place was only one block away
from school.
He was different from the DJ Jiang who broadcast over the intercom and different from the
Mad Dog who was the headache of every student in Liyang Erzhong.
He was very ordinary.
He was so ordinary it seemed that it was only the burden on his shoulders and the title of
‘teacher’ that made him formidable.
When Xie Yu arrived at class, almost everyone had arrived. Wan Da rushed in from the
faculty office all agog. “Good news! The papers aren’t done being graded! Not! Done!
Grading! We can live one more day, brothers!”
Liu Cunhao tossed aside the washcloth and hearily embraced Wan Da on the podium. “My
good brother, we’ll have a good meal this afternoon. We must go out in a blaze of glory.”
“What’s all this,” Xie Yu said as he entered through the back door. He sat down and said,
“About living or dying.”
He Zhao had watched the ruckus all morning and his deskmate had finally arrived.
“Midterms. They’ve even written their last wills and testaments. Something about ‘if I am
unfortunately beaten to death by my mother…’ can’t remember the rest, but that’s the gist.”
The image of their classmates writing a will bright and early in the morning was too
beautiful and Xie Yu thought that, in comparison, eating meat buns with Dean Jiang wasn’t
much.
On the topic of food, Xie Yu remembered something else important.
He Zhao heard his boyfriend, whom he had been mooning over all weekend, now say a
second thing to him in the space of less than a minute since they had seen each other again.
“Did you eat the walnuts?”
Wan Da’s hearsay was not always accurate. He heard that the papers hadn’t been graded,
but he hadn’t heard all of it. Only some classes’ exam papers hadn’t been graded, and Class
3 was not among those classes.
So, when Wu Zheng carried a stack of exam papers into class, the whole classroom went
quiet.
He Zhao was quite happy. “Old Xie, look. I actually got this question right.”
Xie Yu thought, I don’t really want to look.
“Didn’t believe it, did you? These few papers… I finished grading them on Saturday.” Wu
Zheng picked several pieces of chalk out of the box and said, “Look at what you got. Wan
Da, what are you closing your eyes for? Eyes opened or closed, you scored eighty points…
Look at how happy He Zhao is. He scored thirty points, but to him it’s thirty points of
happiness.”
Wan Da: “……”
Chapter 060 - Can I kiss you?
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Whenever grades were released, some students would be happy and others worried. But in
all of Wu Zheng’s years of teaching, he had never met a student like He Zhao before. Even
though he had gotten ‘worrying’ grades, he situated himself in the ‘happy’ camp of his own
accord.
Wu Zheng was very impressed. A true talent.
Impressed to the point that he couldn’t keep himself from throwing chalk pieces one after
the other at the back row, saying as he did so, “He Zhao, your psychological constitution is
very strong… I can’t find any stronger across all three class years at this school.
“High praise, high praise.” Watching the chalk fly in his direction, He Zhao smiled and said,
“I’m just averagely good.”
“—You really think I’m praising you?!”
One of the chalk pieces had missed its mark. It landed on Xie Yu’s side of the desk with a
clatter before rolling to the floor.
Xie Yu, for his part, was worrying about his boyfriend scoring badly on exams and really
becoming an excavator operator in the future. Hearing this, he propped his head up on his
hands and smiled. “…Idiot.”
“That’s enough.” Wu Zheng, seeing that they’d had their fun and the class’s spirits had been
lifted, gestured for them to quiet down and started going through the exam paper. “One
exam doesn’t count for much. These questions weren’t that difficult, so why was the class
average so low? I went over the questions where you lost points…”
Exam paper in hand, Wu Zheng copied the questions onto the board and lifted his hand to
reveal a perfectly drawn cube.
Xie Yu glanced down and put his 40-point math paper under his desk. He had nothing to do,
so he slumped onto his desk and prepared to nap for a while.
The moment he lay down, his deskmate with the strong psychological constitution poked
his wrist twice with a pen.
Xie Yu moved his head slowly, pillowing his head on his arm as he turned to face He Zhao.
He Zhao was also slumped onto the desk in a similar fashion. They maintained this position
for a few minutes, just looking at each other.
There was silence between them, neither of them saying a word, but as their gazes met
something in Xie Yu’s heart began to sink.
He Zhao had his back to the sun, the picture of leisure, the corner of his mouth quirking up
gently.
Xie Yu watched him for a while, then moved first. He reached out and pulled the zipper of
He Zhao’s jacket up properly. “Ge, who do you think you’re seducing?”
“I wouldn’t dare.” He Zhao looked down at Xie Yu’s hand still resting on his jacket; who
knew his little friend was so possessive. He smiled and said, “For your eyes only.”
Class 3’s average was still the same. The first in the year—first from the bottom, that is.
The top scorers were Xue Xisheng and Xu Qingqing, but their scores didn’t do much for the
average.
The literature essay question had been an analysis essay. During lunch, the class rep
brought the literature essays over from the faculty office and was immediately swarmed by
students, but none of them were looking for their own paper. “…Where is Zhao-ge’s essay?
Our fount of happiness.”
Xie Yu had just woken up and glanced up on hearing this. He Zhao was standing at the
podium, protecting his exam paper. The scene at the podium was messy and several exam
papers had fallen on the ground and been stepped on.
Then Luo Wenqiang and Liu Cunhao each caught hold of one of He Zhao’s arms and
frogmarched him away, calling back to their classmates, “Quick, find it!”
He Zhao didn’t get violent with them and was marched straight out of the classroom. He
stood in the doorway, unsure whether he should laugh or cry. “You’re too much, aren’t you?
Can you leave a fellow human being some dignity? What’s so interesting about a zero-point
essay?”
For an analysis essay, even going off on a tangent so wide it veered away from Earth would
not produce anything as ridiculous as, ‘My silhouette is very suave.’ But He Zhao’s analysis
and evidence all had nothing to do with the topic, and the way he forced them all together
was an impressive sight to behold, too.
The paper made its rounds and was returned before the next class began. Wan Da didn’t
dare hand it back to He Zhao directly and tossed it on Xie Yu’s side of the desk instead,
laughing so much his stomach hurt. “Impressive, impressive. Very impressive. I’ve
witnessed the legend of someone talking like a blind person while his eyes are wide open.”
Xie Yu glanced at the essay and thought that it was much better than the Silhouette essay.
“You’ve improved, ge.”
He Zhao asked, “Really?”
Xie Yu’s grip tightened on the pen in his hand and he succinctly opined, “The contents of the
analysis aside, at least you knew you had to write an analysis essay.”
The first two paragraphs had been all right, although Xie Yu couldn’t tell how they were
related to the topic at all. Xie Yu had considered praising him as a form of encouragement,
but as he continued reading he caught sight of the line, ‘He Zhaovsky once said…’
Xie Yu was silent for a while before folding up the exam paper and handing it to He Zhao. “I
was lying. Take it and get lost. You deserve zero points.”
“……”
Almost every class period was spent reviewing the exam papers and everyone had sunk
into a stupor by the last class of the day. The day passed like a dream and for a moment no
one realized school had let out when the class dismissal bell rang.
Only when He Zhao stood up and called out, “Old Xie, let’s go eat,” did the other students
come back to their senses, pack up their belongings, and trickle out of the classroom. “Ah,
let’s go, let’s go. Let’s go home and receive our beatings.”
Liu Cunhao sighed sorrowfully. “Suddenly, I think living in the dorms is very good… you can
live four days longer.”
Xie Yu stood up and said, “You should seize the moment. Look up which crematoriums are
good and which are reliable.”
Liu Cunhao: “……”
He Zhao and Xie Yu both left school to get dinner. At the school gates, they discovered that
the restaurants had come up with a new marketing strategy. A banner even hung atop the
signboard of the Valedictorian House, a blinding bright red, drifting in the wind:
Congratulations to Erzhong Students on your Midterms! 20% Storewide Discount!
Welcome new and returning customers!
“They don’t understand the exams at all,” He Zhao said, shaking his head. “Did you see how
slowly Hao-zi packed up his things? He really wanted to stay behind for evening self-study
with us.”
“I saw. He looked like he was about to die,” Xie Yu said. “He still hasn’t left?”
He Zhao pulled out his phone. “Probably not. He’s still in class, picking crematoriums
maybe? Wait… I’ll send him a photo.”
Liu Cunhao had finally plucked up the courage to leave the classroom but he broke down
when he got the photo. These two big bros… one was cold and the other was mean, and
both were intent on giving him a hard time.
Wan Da, on the other hand, threaded his needles properly. He hit the voice recording
button and yelled, “—Zhao-ge, get me some milk tea!”
Parents surrounded the school gates and the air was full with the honking of cars. It was
too noisy and Wan Da’s voice wasn’t clear, so He Zhao listened twice and still wasn’t able to
decipher it. “What tea?”
Xie Yu couldn’t hear, either, but he could take a guess. “Milk tea, probably.”
Just as Xie Yu had never imagined that one day he would have a meal in the Gold List
Restaurant, he had never imagined he would stand in line in front of the Fudan Milk Tea
Shop, either.
“Boyfriend, let’s talk about this.” Xie Yu stood beside He Zhao, a group of girls around them
glancing their way from time to time. “You buy it. I’ll go back first.”
He Zhao had the order form in one hand and Xie Yu’s wrist in the other. He pulled Xie Yu
back. “Do you have a conscience or not? You’re really leaving?”
Xie Yu had really been going to leave, but at that very moment the group of girls behind
them took action and pushed the girl in the middle forward. She was quite pretty and took
two tentative steps in their direction before walking up to them. “Hi…”
Xie Yu’s eyebrow twitched and he stood still.
The girl looked directly at He Zhao as she spoke, but when he met her gaze, she averted her
eyes shyly. Her intentions were very clear.
Xie Yu thought, thank goodness He Zhao lives at school and doesn’t run around outside all
day…
Then he heard He Zhao apologizing to the girl. “Sorry, you can’t cut in line.”
“……”
It went silent for several minutes, so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
It was their turn in line. The girl stood in front of them, stiff-backed, blocking the entrance.
The milk tea shop employee shouted through the tense atmosphere, “Number 18, one
Fudan milk tea.”
He Zhao handed over his receipt very casually. “Here.”
If Shen Jie were here, he would definitely tell the ‘Not scanning’ story again.
Embarrassment on repeat.
He Zhao carried the milk tea back to school. After two flights of stairs, he discovered that
his little friend had fallen behind, so he waited on the landing. “What’s on your mind?”
Xie Yu said casually, “Wondering how you got a boyfriend.”
On the way back, He Zhao had thought about it, too. He scratched his head and said,
“Sometimes I’m quite… Shen Jie told me a few times, too.”
Not scanning and not cutting in line aside… In junior high, a girl had told him she wanted to
be friends. Out of shyness, she hadn’t said ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’ and only hinted at what
she wanted with ambiguous comments. He Zhao hadn’t understood and had replied, “All
right, we’re bros from now on.”
The girl had cried on the spot before he realized what kind of ‘friends’ she had meant.
There were two lights in the stairwell. He Zhao paused, then said, “But you’re not the same,
because I like you so much that… no matter how oblivious…”
No matter how oblivious he was, he could not overlook it.
He Zhao didn’t finish; even he felt that it was too sappy to say, especially in a public place.
He stopped mid-sentence, stood up, and walked in the direction of the classroom. “Let’s go.
Wan Da is waiting…”
He didn’t finish, but even an idiot could tell what he meant.
He Zhao had just turned around when Xie Yu said from behind, “Zhao-ge, can I kiss you?”
He Zhao nearly tripped.
After school hours, the classroom building was nearly deserted. Throughout their long
conversation in the stairwell, they hadn’t met a single person.
He Zhao dragged Xie Yu up the stairs, then turned left and pushed open the door of the
classroom nearest the stairwell.
Xie Yu only caught a glimpse of the empty, unfamiliar classroom before the world turned
upside down around him. By the time he had recovered, He Zhao had pushed him up
against the wall.
The door was wide open and both of them were stuck in the small space between the door
and the wall.
“This is thrilling.” Xie Yu bent close to He Zhao’s ear and asked, “Here, then?”
“……” He Zhao hung his head and said, “Here’s not the best place, but I couldn’t wait any
more.”

Chapter 061 - It’s not boring if you’re around.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Neither of them knew who moved closer to the other first. When they came back to their
senses, one of He Zhao’s hands was resting on Xie Yu’s waist and he couldn’t help pulling
him closer.
His masculine frame was solid and his temper was harsh, but other places were
unbelievably soft.
Xie Yu was kissed so much he couldn’t speak and could only push at He Zhao weakly. He
cursed, his words hoarse and his tone dropping at the end: not forceful at all. “He Zhao,
were you born in the year of the dog?”
The space behind the door was not large enough for two people, and certainly not two tall
boys.
He Zhao drew closer and closer, closing the distance between them by half. Xie Yu almost
couldn’t breathe, his back hurting where it pressed up against the wall.
A kiss, so be it—but he liked biting, too.
Xie Yu felt a faint pain at the corner of his mouth—He Zhao had probably broken skin.
This sort of thing, hiding from everyone to kiss in an empty classroom, felt quite taboo and
very audacious.
After making out for a while Xie Yu wanted to let go, but when their gazes met, they both
saw the other trying very hard to regain a hold of the emotions they had long lost control of
and couldn’t suppress any more.
“Just a while longer.” He Zhao pulled Xie Yu back again, leaned down, and touched Xie Yu’s
nose with his lips. “I haven’t kissed you enough.”
How could he possibly have gotten enough? When he saw how his little friend’s eyes
clouded over at his kisses, he didn’t want to let go.
“You call that kissing?”
“My skills could be improved.” He Zhao’s lips moved several centimeters lower, landing on
the corner of Xie Yu’s mouth. “…Need to practice.”
He Zhao’s voice dropped and his breath fell onto Xie Yu’s ears very invitingly as he coaxed
his little friend. They were dangerously close and Xie Yu nearly lost control.
Just then, footsteps came from the far end of the corridor, followed by a voice that seemed
to be drawing closer. “Why isn’t this classroom door shut?”
The student council was spot-checking classrooms for cleanliness.
Aside from classes, Erzhong also held many other activities. To enrich students’
extracurricular lives, the student council not only had to regularly check that the
classrooms were clean, they also had to organize poetry reading contests, debate
competitions, and so on and so forth… wherever they were needed, they would go.
Xie Yu stared at He Zhao’s face inches from his own and thought they had landed
themselves in a thorny situation.
“Shall we just run out?”
“Jump out the window.” He Zhao had no confidence, either, even though he had done much
more ridiculous things before. “It’s cooler?”
The student council members dawdled by the door with their checklists for a long time but
didn’t enter. “It looks clean enough. Maybe the student on duty hasn’t left yet… let’s
continue on for now and see.”
A terrifying situation but there was no real danger.
Wan Da was in the classroom, doing homework as he waited for He Zhao to bring him his
milk tea. He had already finished his homework for one subject but his milk tea still had not
arrived. “What’s taking so long? If I went out and bought some I’d have come back twice
over already.”
“You mean Zhao-ge? Surely not.” Xu Qingqing walked in holding a cup of tea. “I saw them
when I went out just now. They should’ve been back long ago.”
Wan Da was worried. Waiting for this cup of milk tea was just as anxiety-inducing as
waiting for someone who would never arrive.
By the time He Zhao appeared in the classroom doorway, Wan Da nearly flung away his pen
and jumped him. “—I’ve waited so long even flowers would have wilted, big bros. I nearly
thought you weren’t coming back for evening self-study.”
“We… had an accident.” He Zhao put the milk tea on Wan Da’s desk and asked, “Did Hao-zi
leave?”
The milk tea was still warm. Wan Da inserted the straw and drank two mouthfuls, satisfied.
“He left. Old Tang came over to talk to him and covered everything from a student’s exam
attitude to how to calmly face failure. He talked for over half an hour and still wasn’t done,
so Hao-zi packed up his things and left through the back door.”
It was very much their homeroom teacher’s style of doing things. He Zhao said, “Old Tang’s
the most impressive after all.”
Wan Da finished, then noticed Xie Yu walking in through the rear door and stopped mid-
drink. “You… fought?”
He Zhao was about to ask, ‘What fight?’ Why would he bring up fighting, out of nowhere?
Wan Da continued, “Why is Yu-ge’s mouth injured?”
Xie Yu had just arrived in the doorway and Wan Da’s eyes were sharp. Although he faintly
felt that the wound wasn’t quite right, his thoughts stuck fast on ‘fight.’ “Who was it? Who
dares to provoke Erzhong’s Big Bro of the West?”
He Zhao coughed.
Wan Da could not miss out on this thrilling and exciting gossip. He went on for a while,
hoping one of them would join in and back up his story, but no one bothered with him.
Xie Yu touched the corner of his mouth with a finger, passed Wan Da by, and walked to his
seat.
“Drink your milk tea.” He Zhao kicked Wan Da’s desk leg and said meaningfully, “Kids
shouldn’t poke their nose into grownups’ affairs.”
Wan Da thought, What was that? About kids and grownups?
He bit on his straw, planning to do his chemistry homework next. Then he couldn’t find his
textbook among the study materials on his desk, so he turned around, still holding his milk
tea, to look in his bag. The moment he turned around he saw the two big bros in the last
row doing things as if no one was watching.
Xie Yu had been looking down at his phone at a holiday greeting from Aunt Mei’s but he had
only read half her text when He Zhao forcefully caught hold of his chin and lifted it.
He Zhao moved closer and said, “Don’t move. Let me look.”
The wound on Xie Yu’s mouth stood out against his pale skin.
Aside from worrying someone would figure out how he got injured, Xie Yu wasn’t
concerned about it. He just wanted to reply to the text, so he retorted without even thinking
about it. “Not a problem. I can take it.”
“……”
During evening self-study, Old Tang brought a book with him to read as he observed class.
Near dismissal time, Xu Qingqing and the others had finished their work and had nothing to
do, so they started chatting with Old Tang. “Teach, I heard you used to teach at the
Experimental High School?”
Old Tang stuck his bookmark into his book then looked up. “You’re done with homework?”
“Nearly.” Wan Da nudged his chair forward and himself with it, curious. “Mr. Tang, how did
you come to Erzhong to teach?”
People had been curious about this ever since Tang Sen had accepted the job of being Class
3’s homeroom teacher. The Experimental High School was among A City’s premier schools
and even several Erzhongs combined could not compare to it.
Xie Yu didn’t listen closely to what Old Tang said in reply, his classmates’ questions
changed every three minutes, anyway. “Mr. Tang, when are we taking our fall class trip?
Soon?”
There were only ten or so live-in students and Old Tang made them all sit close to the front,
so Xie Yu and He Zhao both sat in the column closest to the window where they listened to
the chat about the fall class trip.
“All of you only think about playing. Why aren’t you as attentive in class?” Old Tang started
lecturing, but after his lecture was done he told them what they wanted to know anyway
and said, “The fall class trip will probably be this week, tentatively Friday, but we’re not yet
sure about the timing… don’t share this with the other classes. Dean Jiang didn’t want me to
tell you early because we don’t want you to…”
Before he had even finished, the class was already in an uproar. “Class trip! Friday! Class
trip!”
Old Tang: “……”
He Zhao, hearing this, grew excited, too. He closed out of his video game and asked, “Are
you going on the class trip?”
Xie Yu always skipped school on class trip days. With a calm expression, without even a
cough, he told the teacher he had a fever. The teachers had never quite said anything,
either, as if a problem student like him not going would end up saving them some trouble.
Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t participated in any class trips or any other sort of
outing since entering high school. “…Where do people usually go?”
He Zhao said, “It’s quite boring. Classic locations that never go out of style. A public park, a
theme park, or a museum. It can’t be anything but these three locations. If the school plans
well, we might get to go hiking on a mountain.”
Last year, for some inexplicable reason, the school had taken them to the park. The flowers
had all already wilted, leaving only bare tree trunks and branches. They had walked all day
and not seen anything, and in the cold wind they had felt only dreariness and desolation.
Xie Yu felt he had been very wise to take the day off. “It’s boring, but you’re still going?”
“It’s not boring if you’re around.” He Zhao slumped on the desk, looking at him, then asked
again, “Are you going?”
Xu Qingqing and the others were already discussing what to bring. “Tomorrow after school
I’ll go out and buy some snacks and some cards. Ah, does anyone want to play truth or
dare?”
Wan Da raised both hands in the air. “Yes, yes, yes! I’ll vote for Hao-zi, too. We’ll both be
there.”
The way they were acting, one might think the midterms had been last month. After a
while, Xie Yu said, “I’ll think about it.”
His little friend was stubborn. ‘I’ll think about it’ meant yes.
The news of the class trip spread like wildfire in class the next morning. Even Liu Cunhao,
who had taken a beating when he went home, now grew happy. “This Friday?!”
Wan Da high-fived him. “Surprised? Happy?!”
Yesterday, Liu Cunhao had still been hugging Wan Da and crying, and at lunchtime he had
even said he was too sad about his bad grades to eat anything. He had been forcibly
dragged to the cafeteria and had ended up gobbling down two bowls of rice after saying he
couldn’t eat.
Seventeen was a very innocent age.
Xie Yu was planning to catch up on sleep, but even though it was so noisy he couldn’t sleep,
he didn’t feel frustrated.
He listened quietly for a while, then opened his eyes and saw He Zhao with his left leg
haphazardly propped up on his right kneecap as he mimicked Liu Cunhao’s death-throe
groans from yesterday. “What shall I do? I don’t think I’ll live past today… no, I really can’t
eat anything.”
Liu Cunhao pointed to He Zhao and said, “Zhao-ge, although I can’t beat you in a fight, it’s
not right to mock people like that.”
The class grew rowdy again.
Xu Qingqing and the others had come to a decision. When the class dismissal bell rang, a
group of four or five waved to them. “Zhao-ge, are you both coming? We’re taking the bus
to the shopping center to get some snacks.”
Near the school there was only a small convenience store, and even if they weren’t picky,
they wouldn’t be able to get spicy dry noodles for the class trip.
The closest supermarket was two stops away and, if they were quick, they would get back
to school before evening self-study period began.
They got off the bus and everyone dispersed to get their own things.
Xie Yu leaned against the side of the shopping cart, watching He Zhao examine the best-by
dates on the snacks, and thought for the first time that He Zhao actually seemed quite
domestic at heart.

Chapter 062 - Dealing with you.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
One of them pushed the cart and the other tossed things into it. Xie Yu thought this feeling
was rather serendipitous. From time to time He Zhao asked whether he would eat this,
whether he wanted that, and for no reason at all Xie Yu thought of the words ‘daily life.’
They were still wearing Erzhong uniforms so they had to be discreet when holding hands
and could only do so when no one was around.
“Will you eat this?” He Zhao was standing close and from afar they just looked like two boys
talking. “New flavor. Wanna try it?”
Xie Yu glanced at the packaging: green pepper flavor. “If you want to die, I won’t stop you.”
“It should be fine.” He Zhao liked to buy food he had never eaten before. There was a
novelty to it, even if it was the sort of food no one would touch were he to serve it. “I bought
the mustard flavor last time. It was all right. But when Shen Jie took the rest and ate it he
nearly threw up.”
Snacks could not make a meal, so they picked only a few. The surroundings grew noisy and
Xie Yu tried to let go of He Zhao’s hand, but even after pulling for a while He Zhao still did
not let go.
“People are around.”
“Where? There’s no one around.”
He Zhao was very adamant, but the moment the words left his mouth someone tugged at
his pants leg. He glanced down: a little girl had come out of nowhere. Her hair was tied into
two braids and she was about four or five years old. She said meekly, “Gege.”
He Zhao: “……”
Where had she come from? And so silently.
“Gege, I want that one.”
“……”
The girl’s plump fingers pointed to a shelf, her words slightly mispronounced. “Strawberry
flavor.”
Xie Yu followed with his eyes: it was a bag of popsicles, a cartoon figure printed on the
packaging. The shelf was high and this little bean wouldn’t be able to reach it even if she
jumped.
“Get it for her, gege.” Xie Yu took two steps forward and said, “Strawberry flavor.”
The strawberry flavored ones were right inside. He Zhao pushed the other bags to the side
for the time being, holding them in place with one hand for fear they would fall. Xie Yu
calling him ‘gege’ made him almost drop them.
Xie Yu’s voice was cool and his words were usually sharp, so when he was gentle it was
especially inviting.
The little girl was still staring at the popsicles, the want almost flowing out of her eyes. He
Zhao pulled the bag out, put the others back, then said to Xie Yu, “Just you wait.”
The bag of popsicles wasn’t big but the little girl still needed both hands to hold it. She said,
“Thank you, gege.”
After He Zhao had gotten her the popsicles, he squatted and started talking to her. “You’re
alone? Children shouldn’t run about.”
“Mom is over there.” The little girl pointed to a woman weighing some sweets, who had
long hair and seemed gentle. After pointing, the little girl called out to her mother, then
waved to them. “…Bye, gege.”
He Zhao patted her head, then fumbled in his pockets for a while, pulled out a sweet, and
gave it to her. He smiled and said, “Bye.”
It was a very ordinary scene but Xie Yu thought that a boy like this—audacious and daring
—was so warm when he folded up all his edges and was gentle, it made Xie Yu’s mind go
blank.
By the time the little girl left, they were nearly done shopping. They just had to go over to
the drinks section to get some water, and that would do for their trip supplies.
The shopping mall was small, just two floors, and not very crowded. They had easily
walked around more than half of it.
“What did you call me just now?” He Zhao pressed close to Xie Yu’s ear and asked.
Xie Yu pushed the cart and leaned to one side. “You’re settling the score with me?”
Before He Zhao could reply, Xu Qingqing and the others walked up to them, their carts
nearly colliding. “Are you done shopping?”
Wan Da’s cart was full of snacks. He had gotten four bags of chips alone. Xu Qingqing, on the
other hand, had gotten many sweet things and many kinds of desserts.
Xie Yu said, “No.”
He Zhao added, “Still need two bottles of water.”
Wan Da looked down at his own cart, then said, “I need drinks, too. All right, let’s go
together.”
The drinks section consisted of two full shelves. Wan Da pushed his cart, looking around,
and couldn’t decide between Coke and Sprite.
He Zhao put back a bottle of fruit juice, still unwilling to give up on their previous
conversation topic. “Just now, you…”
Wan Da had decided. He took a bottle of Coke, then walked towards them, whistling.
Xie Yu didn’t give He Zhao the chance to continue, either, and teased him instead. He
pointed to a bottle of water on He Zhao’s right and said into his ear, “Gege, I want that one.”
He Zhao couldn’t get angry at all and could only internally scream, Kill me.
Although it was really damn satisfying to hear such a thing, they were in public and he had
to restrain all notions that might have popped into his head. His little friend was playing
with fire, and seemed to be having quite a good time of it.
He Zhao grabbed a bottle of mineral water, glanced at the expiry date, then handed it over.
“I’ll deal with you when we get back.”
Xie Yu took the water, and felt that he had been childish, too. He leaned against the shelves
and smiled.
“Qing-ge went to get tabletop games.” Wan Da had not paid any attention to their
conversation. He tossed another bottle of soda into his cart, then turned and asked, “She
should be up ahead. Shall we go see?”
“Up ahead where?”
“Entertainment section?” Wan Da stood on his tiptoes and looked around. He saw a figure
wearing an Erzhong uniform, a familiar and powerful silhouette. “I see her!”
When Xie Yu and the others went over, Xu Qingqing was torn between two editions of an
adventure game. “Looking at the summary, one is a normal edition and one is a hard mode
edition. You came at the right time. Which should I get?”
He Zhao looked at them both for a while, could not decide, and said, “Get them both?”
Xie Yu didn’t even glance at them. “Don’t get either.”
Xu Qingqing said, “…Are you two serious?”
Wan Da said to let fate decide and asked Xu Qingqing to close her eyes and pick right or left.
“This one!” Wan Da handed over the hard mode edition. “Heaven decided! No more
hesitation! Qing-ge, this one!”
Xie Yu glanced at the shelves and saw a set of cards with ‘Horror Game’ written on it. He
was intrigued and was about to pick it up when He Zhao caught onto his hand. Then, while
Wan Da and Qing-ge were otherwise occupied, Xie Yu witnessed He Zhao push ‘Horror
Game’ to the very back of the shelf until it could no longer be seen. “……”
The way he acted, he was probably terrified that Wan Da would see and demand another
lively game of Pen Spirit.
Xie Yu was amused. “How timid can you get?”
He Zhao said, “This has nothing to do with timidity. Put an end to superstition, right? That
starts with me.”
It had been a quick trip. When they arrived back at school, hands laden with bags, evening
self-study had just begun. Old Tang, seeing that these were special circumstances and they
lived in the dorms anyway, gave them some extra time to put their things down in the
dorms before coming back to class.
Xie Yu put down his things and washed his hands. Before he could dry them, he saw He
Zhao standing in the doorway of his room, waiting for him. “Is something the matter?”
“Yes.” When Xie Yu walked back into his room, He Zhao shut the door and said, “Dealing
with you.”
Xie Yu didn’t like people to get too close to him. When Madam Gu mentioned his childhood,
she often said both proudly and worriedly, “Other kids always reach out and ask for hugs,
but you… aside from me and your dad, you didn’t let anyone touch you.”
He probably hadn’t understood very well how to interact with other people.
Only He Zhao—only this idiot—made him want to get closer, and then closer still.
When He Zhao bent down to kiss him, Xie Yu suddenly remembered that he had not
thought about his future with this person.
Their meeting had been an inexplicable accident. He and He Zhao had crashed into each
other, and the events that had followed were both torrid and beautiful… he was worried
that this whole thing was only smoke and mirrors and would soon vanish. No one could tell
what the future holds. Life was so long and no one could predict what is to come.
But a voice in his subconscious said, You have thought about it.
You want to keep being with this idiot.
He Zhao had said, ‘deal with you,’ but in reality he only kissed Xie Yu that much harder. He
even held himself in check and didn’t use his teeth this time. “You gave me a hard time on
purpose, hm?”
They were both competitive and neither gave in. Xie Yu’s legs hit the edge of his bed hard
and he had already fallen onto his bed by the time he came back to his senses.
One of He Zhao’s hands lay next to his neck, separating them. As if He Zhao was worried
about suffocating him, or being unable to control himself.
Xie Yu eyed him for a while, then voluntarily drew closer and pushed their lips together.
Xie Yu’s hand was still damp and left a cool sensation on He Zhao’s wrist.
He Zhao’s mind lost its last shred of rationality.
The dorm beds were not sturdy, and when Xie Yu turned over in the night the bed would
creak. Besides, it was holding two people now. He Zhao reached beneath the hem of Xie
Yu’s shirt, bit by bit, first squeezing the softness at his waist, then moving upward. Xie Yu’s
skin was soft and he reacted immediately.
Xie Yu couldn’t take being touched like this, either. His instincts told him that playing
around like this would cause an accident. “…Ge.”
He Zhao, hearing this, stopped. He paused for a while, pulling his hand away from that
warmth and out from beneath his little friend’s shirt. Then he leaned down and bit gently
on Xie Yu’s neck before stopping. “Fuck, I’m hard again.”
“You don’t need to specially mention it.” Xie Yu sat up, resting his back against a pillow,
looking at He Zhao as he said, “It’s been poking me this whole time.”
He Zhao said hoarsely, “You’re not much better. Shall I take care of it for you?”
As He Zhao spoke, he really reached out to touch it, finding Xie Yu’s hip through the
material of their school trousers. His fingers were about to reach upwards when Xie Yu
kicked him. “Get lost.”
The scuffle just now had been intense and He Zhao had no idea when he had shed his
jacket. He got up, bent down, picked up the item of clothing from the floor, then asked from
Xie Yu’s doorway, “Really don’t need me to?”
He received, in reply, a pillow Xie Yu had thrown.
Xie Yu took a cold shower and it was nearly half an hour before it subsided. He turned off
the shower and the chill had passed but he still felt warm.

Wan Da put his things down, then dawdled about his dorm room for a while. He played two
rounds of a video game, and when he was ready to go back to class, he went upstairs to get
the two Big Bros to go with him.
When Wan Da went over and knocked on the door, he found that both of them had changed
their clothes, hair still dripping water. Wan Da swallowed back all the words he was about
to say. “You’re taking a shower at this time of night?”
He really could not answer. He Zhao was rendered speechless, a rare occurrence. He stood
in the doorway and glanced at Xie Yu in the opposite doorway, indicating for him to say
something.
So Xie Yu hesitated a while, then replied, “None of your business?”
He Zhao: “……”
Wan Da: “……”
Fiercely anticipated by everyone in second year, the day of the fall class trip finally arrived.
The itinerary was the same as always, like a School Fall Class Trip Classic Set Meal. The
venue was a public park near a theme park, with a good view. They could take pictures and
relax, and there was also an archery range and a mini-theater nearby.
In the morning, the whole school building was in an uproar. Dean Jiang came over to give a
speech, which brought about a temporary quiet, but when Dean Jiang left they continued
making a scene.
Liu Cunhao opened his bag in front of everyone, showing off what he had brought. “See all
of this? A bag of Lay’s potato chips, some bread, some chewing gum… I’ll share with
everyone later.”
He Zhao didn’t want to lose out. “Look at mine and Old Xie’s. See this? Green pepper flavor.
I bet you’ve never eaten this in your life.”
Xie Yu pressed a hand to his forehead and reminded him, “That’s yours. Don’t drag me into
it.”
“What’s mine is yours.”
“…Just forget it.”
Old Tang wore blue exercise wear, probably wanting to project an image of youthful vigor.
But on his slightly pudgy frame it made people think it would be better to give him a
rocking chair and let him slowly rock in it.
“Several important things first.” Old Tang pulled out an itinerary, then a piece of chalk.
“Everyone split into groups and pick a group leader. You all know my phone number, right?
If you don’t, here it is again… if anything happens, just call me, or look for the tour guide.”
There were about thirty people in the class and they were freely allowed to form groups.
There was only one objective in going out: to have a good time. Liu Cunhao had had enough
of managing the class as class rep, so this time he didn’t want to be the group leader. He
passed the position to He Zhao. “Zhao-ge, actually, since the first day of school I’ve thought
you were an impressive person. Your radiance, your leadership qualities—you’re a dragon
among people, and undefeatable—”
At this, Xie Yu let out a laugh.
He Zhao waved a hand dismissively, indicating for him to stop. “All right, all right, I get what
you mean.”
While He Zhao was rounding everyone up, Luo Wenqiang wanted to join their group but He
Zhao said, “You can’t. You eat too much.”
Liu Cunhao followed up, “I think you can’t, too.”
Luo Wenqiang was stunned. “Are you really going to be like that? What about love for your
classmates?”
Xie Yu was watching the excitement unfold. Luo Wenqiang had no recourse and Xie Yu got
to watch the beefcake say to him in despair, “Yu-ge, tell them!”
He Zhao said, “Don’t call Yu-ge. No use calling Yu-ge. Your Yu-ge is… my friend.”
Thankfully he reacted fast or he might have said “mine.”
Xie Yu heard him and, after thinking about it, decided to take his boyfriend’s side. “Mm. No
use calling me.”
Luo Wenqiang: “……”
Old Tang was still explaining guidelines. “When you go out, be careful to keep the place
clean. Don’t litter at the venue. Embody the spirit and good upbringing of our youth…”
Everyone nodded, hoping to get it over with. “All right, got it.”
Luo Wenqiang wasn’t ready to give up. He wagged a finger in the air. “All right, I finally see
your true colors. All this talk about friendship is just hot air.”
He Zhao added Luo Wenqiang’s name to his paper, then motioned for him to scram.
“Enough. If you keep talking, we won’t take you.”
The bus quieted when the tour guide entered.
The tour guide was a man wearing a red cap and with a megaphone in hand, and he waved
as he entered. “Hello, students. How are you doing?”
The groups handed their name lists to the tour guide. When he took He Zhao’s group’s list,
Xie Yu saw the confusion in the tour guide’s eyes, as if asking, What is this? Who are these
people?
Xie Yu tore a page from his exercise book and wrote down the six names again.

Chapter 063 - A touch and a glance

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Xie Yu handed over the newly-written list of names.
In dark ink on white paper, his handwriting was sharp and elegant. The six names on the
sheet were written beautifully.
Although Xie Yu got most of the questions on his homework wrong, and for his math
homework he often just copied the questions and left the solution space blank, the teachers
had not yet given up on him. Just his handwriting alone could soothe their tempers quite a
bit.
Whenever a teacher commented that this handwriting was wasted, someone else would
say, “Better than He Zhao, at least. I get mad whenever I grab his homework. That boy
thinks of everything…”
The tour guide looked at Xie Yu like his saving grace.
This was despite the fact that the boy before him seemed quite aloof, and his chilly aura
was even stronger than his appearance.
For some reason, however, when the boy handed over the sheet of paper and then glanced
at him, he felt as if his life was in danger.
The tour guide took the paper. “…Th-thank you.”
Xie Yu said, “No problem.”
He Zhao thought highly of himself, and besides, he had written quite carefully this time.
Surely it wasn’t unreadable. He stood next to the podium, about to explain himself, when
Xie Yu kicked him.
“Go back,” Xie Yu said. “Don’t embarrass yourself.”
He Zhao said as he left, “No, I wrote it quite nicely this time around. My handwriting was
neat and impressive…”
Xie Yu said, “Shut up, will you?”
All of Class 3 knew what He Zhao’s handwriting looked like. At first glance it was indeed
dizzying, but after over two months of looking at it they had more or less figured out how
to decipher it.
They were the names of classmates, so anyone from Class 3 who glanced at the paper could
tell by the shape who He Zhao had meant. But the tour guide was unfamiliar with them and
had surely been confused.
Liu Cunhao covered his face with his hands. “What was I thinking, asking Zhao-ge to be the
leader?”
Wan Da patted him. “It’s fine. What can you do, anyway? Keep going and don’t look back.”
Liu Cunhao: “……”
“Students, we’re going to Northlake Park, a well-known sightseeing spot in C City. I’ll give
you the detailed itinerary when we get on the bus.” The tour guide straightened his cap
then continued, saying that he hoped they would have a happy trip, and so on… a load of
useless formalities. At the end, he said, “…Class 2.3’s bus is at the rear gate. Let’s form a line
in the corridor.”
Two other classes were already lined up in the corridor and Old Tang hurriedly followed to
say, “Line up properly and be quiet. The other classes are still holding lessons.”
The tour guide had gone on for a long time and Xie Yu had dozed off in the middle. By the
time the others had all gone outside, he was still slumped on his desk, not moving.
He Zhao crooked a finger, turned, and knocked on Xie Yu’s side of the desk. “Get up. We
need to line up.”
Old Tang also gave a long speech. After talking about conduct, he gave many reminders, as
if they were an elementary school students going on a class trip. Finally, someone couldn’t
take it any more and called out, “Do we need to hold hands too? Let’s just hold hands and
go.”
The student finished speaking, then Xie Yu opened his eyes. He Zhao had already reached
out to him.
There was a proper chair there, but He Zhao had chosen to sit on the desk instead, his
jacket open with its zipper undone. He smiled and said, “Little friend, hold my hand?”
The sight of him smiling was just too pleasant.
The back of He Zhao’s hand lay on the desk, palm up.
Someone had been yelling about holding hands, so it should be fine for them to hold hands
now, for a while.
A moment passed. Xie Yu said nothing and covered He Zhao’s hand with his.
“Ohh—”
In the corridor, someone near the end of the line called out and all of Class 3 followed,
meaningful ‘Ohh—’s ringing out.
He Zhao was worried that the strong reaction would scare Xie Yu and said, “What’re you
‘oh’-ing about?”
Liu Cunhao said, “Zhao-ge, you’re so obliging. Someone said to hold hands and you did it
immediately.”
This was purely to tease Old Tang and Liu Cunhao wasn’t thinking about anything else.
Besides, the two Big Bros of their class had always been this touchy-feely and had even held
hands in class before.
Tang Sen was amused. He shook his head, smiled, and didn’t keep going on about conduct.
It was just a day trip, after all. Let them have their fun.
When they got on the bus, the girls got on first to pick seats, mostly in pairs. Xie Yu and He
Zhao brought up the rear, and there were only two seats left in the last row by the time
they boarded.
Wan Da, sitting right in the middle of the last row, waved to them. “Here, come on, come
on.”
Xie Yu glanced around and asked, “No other seats?”
Liu Cunhao and the others were sitting in the last row. They were all energetic, and would
probably make so much noise once they were on the road that Xie Yu wouldn’t be able to
sleep.
Liu Cunhao figured out Xie Yu’s intent. “Yu-ge, you don’t like sitting with us?”
Xie Yu replied, “Yeah.”
They had walked to the middle of the bus. On Xie Yu’s right was Xu Qingqing, who had
already opened a bag of snacks and was laughing out loud. “Ha ha ha ha ha. You brought it
on yourself.”
He Zhao laughed, too. “Hao-zi, if you already knew, then why did you have to ask and hurt
yourself?”
Liu Cunhao: “……”
Although they made a fuss, there was no other place to sit.
After everyone sat down, the bus began to move. It took the back way out of the school
grounds and turned onto a side road.
The tour guide held onto the railing and gave his name. No one remembered his full name,
only that his last name was Wang, so everyone called him ‘Wang-ge.’ The tour guide
scratched his head. “All right. Wang-ge… Wang-ge will be fine.”
Xie Yu had started growing sleepy back in the classroom and now the drowsiness returned
in full force. He leaned against the window, intending to sleep for a while, but before his
head touched the glass He Zhao pulled him towards him. “You’ll lean on the window but not
on your gege?”
The words ‘gege’ were like a curse. When He Zhao heard them, he replayed a certain set of
scenes in his mind.
He Zhao had initiated this conversation, but the moment the words left his mouth, he
coughed lightly and thought, Damn, I brought this on myself.
Xie Yu couldn’t take it, either, and the most obvious indicator of that was that he couldn’t
fall asleep, any more.
The back way out of school was long and narrow. The bus travelled slowly, passing by the
street where the restaurants were. The midterm banner over Valedictorian House was still
there. A stray dog lay at the entrance to the Gold List Restaurant, head drooping as it
watched the crowds go by,
Wang-ge went over some of Northlake Park’s history, as well as the various important
buildings in the park. Among them was a famous author’s old residence. “You all know him,
right? He wrote…”
The mention of literature aroused Old Tang’s teacher’s instinct. He could give them a
literature lecture with a minute’s notice without needing to prep. He got up and took the
megaphone from the tour guide. “Let me say something, let me say something…”
All of Class 3 said, “…Don’t let him!”
Liu Cunhao was about to cry. “I thought we’d have a good time today.”
Wan Da said, “Yeah, we were supposed to have a good time today.”

Amidst the noise, one of them moved first. The backs of their hands lay against each other
silently for a while, then He Zhao’s fingers entwined with Xie Yu’s.
Sometimes, contentment came very easily.
A touch, a glance, and the warmth that came with it.
Xie Yu was content.
The bus grew noisier and noisier. The moment Luo Wenqiang gathered the guts to take the
megaphone from Old Tang’s hand, the bus went wild.
“Let’s sing,” Xu Qingqing suggested. “Prizes for participating.”
Everyone clapped and agreed, then asked, “What prizes?”
Although there were no prizes, Class 3’s karaoke competition started up anyway.
Most of them didn’t sing very well and the music was more like noise, but the singers were
very caught up in it. Old Tang devotedly sang An Unforgettable Night.
He Zhao was a very obliging person, and no matter how the singer sang, he could turn his
back on his conscience and give praise. “Well done! You sang so well!”
Sang well, my ass.
Xie Yu didn’t understand this at all. He moved his hand, fingertips coming to rest on He
Zhao’s knuckles. “Is that sarcasm?”
He Zhao replied, “No, it’s encouragement.”
Old Tang was embarrassed from the praise, but he still waved at the audience and decided
to sing again. “Since you like it, I’ll…”
He Zhao had never imagined that their homeroom teacher would be a mic hog. “Ah?!”
The students in the front row were so mad they threw water bottles at him.
By the time Old Tang was done singing, the other students had changed their minds and
started calling out, “Zhao-ge, a song! Make it up to us!”
He Zhao agreed quickly. “Sure. I’m very good at singing. You’re in luck today—Old Xie, what
song do you want?”
Xie Yu had never heard He Zhao sing, but he felt that something wasn’t right with He Zhao’s
confidence. Mostly, it was because He Zhao often spoke of his handwriting the same way, as
if no one in heaven or on earth could measure up to it, but in the end it was still terrible.
But it was clearly written in He Zhao’s eyes: Whatever you want to hear, I’ll sing it for you.
Xie Yu had been about to say something but on his tongue the words turned into, “Anything
is fine.”
All of Class 3 thought that, based on He Zhao’s character, he would sing something
powerful.
Contrary to all their expectations, He Zhao picked a love song.
The song had originally been sung by a woman, and was gentle and slow.
The megaphone was passed back from the front. Before He Zhao turned it on, Xie Yu heard
him whisper, “They’re lucky this time… I’m singing this for my little friend.”
This was probably the one time He Zhao was not full of hot air.
He actually did sing quite well, his voice echoing softly in Xie Yu’s ear. The song seemed
different from the original, since it was a male voice singing it, but it was still gentle.
A restrained, masculine gentleness leaked from the words.
The interior of the bus suddenly quieted.
Away from the eyes of others, their hands were still secretly linked, as if they could feel
each other’s heartbeats through their interlaced fingers.

Chapter 064 - This time, I’ll protect you.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
When He Zhao was done and the last note died away, no one said anything for several
minutes.
Surprising. No one had expected it.
Xu Qingqing had been watching a video on her phone. Four minutes had passed while she
hadn’t been paying attention to the video’s contents.
“Impossible,” Xu Qingqing said, looking back. “Zhao-ge, he…”
She cut herself off halfway.
Because she saw He Zhao turn, as if to meet Xie Yu’s eyes.
Yu-ge, whom no one in their class dared provoke, had not fully closed the curtain next to
him. Sunlight shone through the small gap onto his hair.
The sunlight made him look warm.
—Xie Yu, who, at first glance, looked like a person without warmth.
Liu Cunhao was the first to react. “Prince of love songs, Zhao-ge.”
Wan Da, bag of chips in hand and mouth open, said, “How about… how about an encore?”
He Zhao shut off the megaphone and handed it forward. “Nah. I’ll let you all live.”
The others started calling for an encore, too, but He Zhao really had no intention of singing
any more. After passing the megaphone back, he turned off the music on his phone. He
looked up and found that Xie Yu was watching him. “Stunned? Was it so good…”
He wasn’t content with the praises of others and was about to praise himself to the skies,
too.
As he drew nearer, Xie Yu stopped the praise in its tracks, smiled and said, “Yeah.”
Since the singer with actual ability no longer wanted to sing any more, Class 3 had to listen
to Old Tang sing. He sang oldies, with a very strong sense of the time period, which made all
who listened feel like they had aged twenty years.
Two songs later they really couldn’t take it anymore, but they couldn’t bear to take a swing
at Old Tang’s confidence, either.
So, even though the bus seemed calm on the surface, their group chat was roiling.
[Liu Cunhao]: Who’ll stop him?
[Xu Qingqing]: I can’t think of a good reason. Next, please?
[Luo Wenqiang]: Beyond me, too. Next.
Xie Yu watched them discuss for a while and actually came up with something, albeit a
strange approach.
Liu Cunhao raised his hand and said, “Teach, we’d better quiet down so we don’t distract
the driver.”
The driver: “……”
Xie Yu had been tapping out a reply with one hand. His position was uncomfortable, so he
just exited the group chat and took out a pair of earphones from his pocket. “Want to watch
a movie, Prince of Love Songs?”
This newly coined nickname already sounded embarrassing.
He Zhao took one earbud and said, “Drop it. It sounds like I sing love songs to harass people
all the time. I’ve only ever sung for you… what movie is this?”
Xie Yu had just randomly downloaded it.
It had been on his phone for a long time. Xie Yu had never had much patience for watching
movies; occasionally he would put one on to kill time, but he didn’t get invested and often
fast-forwarded through it.
There was a mini-theater on Black Water Street where Dalei and the others would go when
they had some spare change.
Xie Yu had been once before. An hour and 20 minutes. He had gone in blank-faced and
come out blank-faced.
Dalei and Da Mei had walked out behind him, both bawling their eyes out, unable to
extricate themselves from the emotions the movie had evoked. They had cried the whole
way back. “It’s terrible. A terminal illness separated them…”
Xie Yu endured them for a block, then couldn’t hold back any longer. “It was the script that
separated them.”
He Zhao glanced at the thumbnail: it was an absurdist comedy film. Both the male and
female lead looked familiar and the plot sounded familiar, too. He thought for a while, then
remembered. “I’ve seen this before. It’s quite good.”
Before he finished speaking, Xie Yu had already pressed the top right corner to close out of
the video.
“—What did you shut it off for?”
After closing it, Xie Yu hooked a finger around the earbud wire, trying to get it back from He
Zhao. “You’ve already seen it, right?”
“I’ve seen it,” He Zhao said, raising one hand to hold the earbud in place so Xie Yu couldn’t
take it back. He smiled and said, “But I haven’t seen it with you.”
Liu Cunhao, on He Zhao’s other side, sensed something wasn’t right. Ever since He Zhao
had sung that love song, an indescribable atmosphere had surrounded him.
He glanced left and right, his gaze finally landing on the two Big Bros watching a movie
together, and realized he had found the source.
Eventually, he tapped Wan Da and asked hesitantly, “Do you think there’s… something
between them?”
C City was not far, about forty minutes away.
They had watched less than half the movie before the bus pulled into a parking lot near
Northlake Park. Everyone packed up their things and started getting off the bus.
Xie Yu waited until most of the passengers had left, then held onto the backs of the seats in
front of him and got up.
He Zhao let go of his hand and, while no one was looking, placed his hand on Xie Yu’s waist
instead. Through the material, he felt Xie Yu’s familiar warmth. As if possessed, he asked,
“Are… you going home this weekend?”
Xie Yu had been about to squeeze through the gap between He Zhao’s knees and the seats
in front, but now he paused and faintly smiled, glancing back. “Boyfriend, what are you
thinking of?”
What else would he be thinking of?
Both of them were well aware.
“Let’s line up and go in. Later, I’ll take you around Northlake Park once and then you can go
off on your own,” the tour guide shouted into his megaphone. “Free activity time lasts till
two. Please come back on time.”
The scenic spots were by the lake. After circling the lake once and listening to three stories
about the locale from the tour guide, they split into small groups and went off on their own.
A group of six gathered by the road.
He Zhao asked, “Where do you want to go?”
Luo Wenqiang enthusiastically considered the question. “The cinema? Let’s see what
movies are playing.”
Liu Cunhao had no interest in the cinema and pointed to the upper right corner of the map.
“If you’re a man, it’s the archery range.”
“No! The cinema!”
“Luo Wenqiang, you aren’t a man!”
Xie Yu was indifferent. He had no interest in any of it, anyway.
Luo Wenqiang and Liu Cunhao continued arguing. Group Leader He squatted by the
roadside listening to them for a while, and felt a headache coming on.
He eventually showcased his leadership talent. He pulled a lollipop from his pocket and
unwrapped it as he said, “All right, stop it. Rock-paper-scissors. Best of three.”
It was a rather wishy-washy way of handling things.
During the argument, Wan Da had carefully examined the map and two words tucked away
in a corner eventually caught his attention: Haunted House.
Wan Da’s eyes lit up. He glanced up and said, “There’s a haunted house! Shall we go?”
Xie Yu saw He Zhao’s hand tremble around the lollipop.
“That’s good. Thrilling.” Luo Wenqiang put the cinema to the back of his mind, then leaned
over to read the description of the haunted house out loud. “…Fierce ghosts galore! They
died in all sorts of ways. Guaranteed scares. You’ll scream out loud.”
He Zhao hadn’t even had the time to persuade him otherwise.
Liu Cunhao nodded, primarily impressed by the description. “It sounds interesting. Let’s
go.”
“Yu-ge, what do you think?” After discussing it, Liu Cunhao turned to ask Xie Yu. “Shall we
go to the haunted house?”
Xie Yu squatted by the road, originally intending to put in his two cents after they had
argued another half an hour, but they had resolved the quibble quickly, after all. He then
glanced at He Zhao, lollipop in mouth as he pretended to be calm, and thought it might be
interesting. “Sure.”
Group Leader He, who had completely lost his say in anything: “……”
The others in the group happily walked on, map in hand. He Zhao walked at the back,
slowing down. “Who betrays their boyfriend like that?”
“Who’s as timid as you are?” Xie Yu slowed down too, then said, “…Don’t say anything about
avoiding superstition.”
He Zhao was speechless. “Heartless.”
Fallen leaves covered the ground. The crowds parted, the roads growing more empty and
less crowded than before on either side.
He Zhao was still thinking about just how much of a white-eyed wolf¹ his boyfriend was.
After thinking about it for a while, Xie Yu suddenly stopped in front of him.
Then he heard the white-eyed wolf say to him, “No need to be scared. This time, I’ll protect
you.”
These words sounded familiar. He Zhao remembered the incident in the dorm building
where the ghost had turned out to be a farce. Mad Dog had said he would discipline them
but the monthly exams had passed and nothing had happened, so he had probably
forgotten about it amidst all the other things he had to do.
He Zhao couldn’t hold back a laugh. He crunched up the lollipop in his mouth, sweetness
spreading over his tongue, then said, “Sure, big bro.”
Although Northlake Park was called a park, it was very big. Around the lake many tourist
attractions spanned a wide area. They could walk all day and still not manage to see it all.
“Where is it? If we keep walking we’ll leave the park.” Liu Cunhao studied the map as he
walked. Although he had said he didn’t want to be the group leader, he had taken on the
heavy responsibility in the end, anyway. “This is very mysterious.”
They wandered about for a while and finally noticed an unobtrusive entrance with a short
line of people outside.
There was a sign to one side, too.
It was decorated with several handprints in red paint that dripped downward from the
fingertips. A word was written on the side: HELP.
“Interesting.”
“It’s here! It’s definitely here! Leader, go get tickets!”
When He Zhao went to get the tickets he nearly asked for five.
“Six tickets.” He Zhao bent down, glancing through the counter window. After receiving the
tickets, he said, “Thank you.”
He was about to leave when the cashier asked, “Which school are you from?”
“Erzhong.”
“Which Erzhong? The one in this city?”
“No, A City. Liyang Erzhong, beautiful school grounds, well-staffed, with sixty years of
history…”
He Zhao looked as if he wanted to stay and chat with the cashier about Liyang Erzhong’s
history for another half an hour.
“Friend.” Xie Yu leaned against the wall, looking at him. “The way you go on, you could be a
student ambassador.”
Wan Da and the others were anxious, too. The line was moving quickly and it would be
their turn after the group ahead of them entered, but they still hadn’t gotten their tickets.
“Leader, are you done over there? So slow. They’re about to check tickets.”
The group ahead of them went in, and not long after came the terrified scream of a girl.
The screams continued for more than ten minutes.
It made their hair stand on end.
After the screams slowly faded, someone lifted a corner of the black curtain in front of them
and a black-gloved hand reached out. A hoarse voice said, “Tickets.”
They didn’t expect the ticket checker to be their first surprise.
Xie Yu handed the tickets over, then the group ducked under the curtain and went in. When
they looked up again, they saw the twisted face and scary smile of a ‘ghost’ still holding
their tickets.
This ‘ghost’ was very immersed in his act and gave a terrifying laugh.
Xie Yu’s face was blank. “……”
He glanced around. The design of the haunted house was very ordinary: pitch-dark, the
weak lighting illuminating skeletons and human remains on the wall.
And there was a ‘female ghost’ sitting on a chair in front of them.
She wore a red dress, long hair reaching her knees, the black and the red combining to form
a strange aura.
After they entered, things started to move very slowly around them.
The audio and lighting effects were good, but the content was still rather cliche.
They had only taken two steps in when Wan Da commented, “How boring.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “Not scared at all. I’m even a bit amused.”
Liu Cunhao said, “Shall we show some respect for their craft? Scream a bit? Or they might
be very embarrassed.”
Although the haunted house wasn’t up to par, Xie Yu thought about it for a while and
considered that maybe a certain idiot would still have been scared.
So he reached behind him. It took two tries before he caught hold of He Zhao’s hand.
He Zhao had never done this before. He had been scared stiff just by the words ‘haunted
house’ and the gaps his own imagination had filled in. But after he had really come in, a
person wearing a mask and calling himself a ghost wasn’t enough to scare him.
But the feeling of his little friend reaching out to hold his hand was really too good.
“I’m really scared,” He Zhao emphasized.
Xie Yu said, “Shall I pull off their masks for you? Tell me which one you want to see.”
He Zhao had no doubt that Xie Yu really would do it.
Worried that Xie Yu would act on his word, He Zhao said, “No need. I think I can hold on.”
They left the haunted house near noon.
No one talked about going to the cinema or the archery range. They only wanted to find a
spot to sit down and eat.
Liu Cunhao glanced at the class group chat. “Qing-ge says the rest area is very crowded and
there are no seats. She asks if any of us want to go picnic with her.”
“Where is she?”
“Just up ahead. Not far.”
When they got there, Xu Qingqing and the others were about to play truth or dare. She
opened up the Hard Mode edition deck of cards she had bought at the mall and glanced at
the punishments in it.
“This is terrible. If you get one, you’re done for.” Seeing He Zhao and Xie Yu approach, Xu
Qingqing smiled and glanced up. “You’re just in time. Want to play?”
“……”
He Zhao asked for two cards and handed one to Xie Yu. “Old Xie, up for it?”
Xie Yu: “All right.”
“If we play you’re not to choose dare.”
Xie Yu didn’t understand. “Huh?”
He Zhao continued, “What if you end up getting handsy with someone?”
Translation notes:
[1] White-eyed wolf: blind and heartless

Chapter 065.1 - Z Y
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
They had picked a quiet spot not far from the rest area.
Old Tang and Mad Dog wheeled their bicycles by. They had ridden once around the lake
and were tired, and towels hung around their necks as if bike riding was strenuous
exercise.
Old Tang stood by the road and watched them for a while, smiling. “Have you all eaten yet?”
All of Class 3 sat up straight and replied in unison, “We have, we have.”
Old Tang was about to continue but Mad Dog dragged him away. “That’s enough. Don’t
think that just because they’re smiling… these brats can’t wait for us to get lost.”
Xie Yu was naturally lucky and had done well over the last few rounds with ease. Not only
did he not receive a single punishment, he had even drawn the king card twice.
Xu Qingqing recalled that round of Dou Dizhu before evening self-study with Xie Yu and her
fear of being soundly beaten. It was fine that he was lucky at Dou Dizhu, but how did he do
so well even with card games?!
This really was a terrible gaming experience!
The round ended. Xu Qingqing put the cards back and they started to draw again.
Xie Yu picked one at random and flipped it over to reveal another king.
Xu Qingqing: “……”
Up till now Xie Yu had found nothing to be very exciting about this game. He held the card
between two fingers, still sitting on the ground. “That’s all? This is boring.”
Xu Qingqing said, “You’re not human.”
Wan Da shook his head and said gravely, “Yu-ge, we’re not like you.”
Luo Wenqiang had been targeted by Xie Yu twice in a row. The dare punishments in the
Hard Mode edition were really twisted: he had nearly given his first kiss to Liu Cunhao, and
was now terrified. He turned and shouted, “Zhao-ge, control your deskmate!”
He Zhao, sitting beside Xie Yu, was amused. He smiled and said, “Control what? I can’t
control him.”
The voices of the people won out in the end and took away a certain star player’s game
privileges. Xie Yu was made to back out of the game.
Xu Qingqing took back the king Xie Yu had just drawn. Xie Yu blinked, unsure whether to
smile. “How can you do that?”
Liu Cunhao returned his card to Xu Qingqing and got ready to redraw. “Sorry, Yu-ge. You’re
too strong. Life is unfair.”
He Zhao patted his little friend’s head, then couldn’t keep himself from tousling his hair. He
consoled, “They’re not worthy of playing with someone as skilled as my deskmate.”
“What’s this about ‘them?’” The others didn’t like the way this sounded. “Zhao-ge, have a
heart. At least count yourself among us, can you?”
He Zhao said, “I’m not the same. I’m a strong player, too.”
Xie Yu had no opinion on being made to back out of the game. It was no fun, anyway. He
moved backwards a little, sitting behind He Zhao, and glanced down at his phone. If he
leaned forward several more centimeters he would touch He Zhao’s back.
He Zhao was worried Xie Yu would get bored and took several snacks from his bag. “Food?”
Xie Yu glanced at the several small packets of walnuts by his hand. “……”
Although Xie Yu wasn’t sure why He Zhao would have brought walnuts on a class trip, he
thought, Better you eat them yourself.

In reality, He Zhao was not as skilled a player as he made himself out to be. The only reason
he hadn’t been picked yet was that the king cards had all been in Xie Yu’s hand.
Each time Xie Yu picked a card, while the others were not looking, he would reach over and
He Zhao would write a number on his hand. Knowing what number He Zhao was, Xie Yu
would never pick him.
The gentle brush of his fingers over Xie Yu’s palm was a little ticklish, as if he was flirting.
At first He Zhao had just written numbers, but two rounds later he started writing words.
He wrote the same thing down several times before Xie Yu asked, “…What is this?”
He Zhao whispered, “Feel it with your heart”
Other people would write one stroke at a time, but this idiot wrote the whole word down at
once. Feel it, my ass.
Xie Yu really couldn’t feel anything. “Sorry, we assassins don’t have hearts.”
“Three words.” He Zhao decided to play coy, but a few minutes later he couldn’t keep
himself from saying, “I like you.”
Now that his high-level boyfriend was no longer in the game, He Zhao’s good luck had run
out.
Those who mess around in the streets must eventually pay the piper, and maybe He Zhao
had to pay his boyfriend’s share back, as well, because he got hit twice in a row. “……”
Xu Qingqing had drawn the king card for the first time and was euphoric. She asked
haughtily, “Which of you is number two?”
He Zhao tossed his ‘2’ card out.
The crowd exploded.
“Aren’t you a strong player, Zhao-ge?”
“Heaven has mercy on no one!”
“Qing-ge, don’t let him off! Give him a hard time!”
“Truth.” Facing the crazed crowd, He Zhao made his intentions clear.
Xu Qingqing wasn’t sure what to ask, either. In order not to sow discord and let everyone
remain friends in the future, she picked a truth punishment card. As luck would have it, the
question was quite tame. “How far have you gone with your girl/boyfriend?”
Xie Yu, the boyfriend: “……”
Shen Jie had bought some takeout at the rest area and phoned his Zhao-ge as he ate,
wanting to ask him where he was, but the call didn’t go through. Shen Jie turned off his
phone, got up, threw away the takeout box, then walked around looking for a place to
smoke.
Not long after leaving the rest stop, he heard people yelling. “Ooh—”
In a very strange tone of voice, too.
Shen Jie faintly heard the voice of Class 3’s class rep. His grip tightened around his pack of
cigarettes as he walked over. It really was Class 3.
“What are you doing?” Shen Jie squeezed through a gap in the shrubs. “I heard you from
way over there… Zhao-ge, I called you but you didn’t pick up.”
Shen Jie dropped by Class 3 all the time, and Class 3’s students often used him as an excuse
for being late, saying he got sick again. He was more or less one of them.
Wan Da made a space for him. “Sit down. We’re playing cards.”
Xu Qingqing urged, “Zhao-ge, can you answer the question?”
Amidst the crowd’s murmuring, He Zhao scratched his head and said, “How far, huh…
everything that needs to be done has been done.”
Xie Yu pinched him hard at the waist.
His answer was very vague and left a lot to the imagination, and the crowd got more and
more restless.
Xie Yu let go and asked, “What do you mean by ‘everything that needs to be done has been
done?’”
He Zhao calmly leaned backwards. “What did you want me to say? That we’re at the point
where they’re in bed, crying ‘gege?’”
Although no one had known that He Zhao had a partner, given his looks, it wasn’t
unexpected. His partner might even be someone from a different school.
Luo Wenqiang didn’t let up. “He’s dodging the question, Qing-ge! Does that count as
breaking the rules? What exactly did you do?”
Shen Jie, sitting and listening, had gotten the gist of the question, but the answer didn’t
seem quite right.
When Xu Qingqing started distributing the cards again, Shen Jie finally had an epiphany.
Then he thought in shock, Since when did Zhao-ge have a partner?
He Zhao was sitting opposite him and there were many people around, so he couldn’t ask
directly.
Shen Jie tapped furiously away at his phone.
Zhao-ge, you escaped the single life?
When did you get a partner?
Fuck, who is it?
Are we still bros?
He Zhao didn’t even look at his phone. After answering the punishment question, he saw
that Xie Yu had not yet touched the walnuts, so he opened a packet and handed it over.
Xie Yu’s feelings on receiving the walnuts were very complicated.
The unlucky victim of the next round was He Zhao again.
The question this time around was rather ordinary, the kind of truth question no one found
fun.
“What is your greatest regret?”
Everyone’s excitement dropped when the card was pulled out. The answer was probably
something inconsequential. What could they have be to regret?
Xie Yu waited for He Zhao to come up with an absurd story but He Zhao said nothing.
Class 3 had picked a spot close to the lake. When the wind blew, it skimmed the surface of
the water, bringing a chill with it.
He Zhao looked down, his eyelashes casting shadows over his face. Who knew what he was
thinking. After a while, he looked up and said, “In third year of junior high, because of me, a
friend of mine…”
He abruptly cut himself off.
He Zhao found that he still hadn’t overcome this obstacle.
The moment it was brought up he felt so stifled he nearly panicked.
He couldn’t go on.
Everyone else glanced around, unsure what had just happened.
Xie Yu suddenly remembered He Zhao sitting in the stairwell and smoking in the middle of
the night.
He Zhao, who caught him when he jumped off the wall and called him a cripple.
Liu Cunhao noticed that He Zhao had answered this question rather reluctantly and waved
a hand dismissively. “This is a boring question. Next, next, next.”
The others didn’t mind, either. They put the cards back and began to draw again.
Amidst the excitement and subsequent conversation, the question was forgotten.
He Zhao pulled out his phone to check the time, then saw that Shen Jie had called him a few
times. A dozen missed calls, and six or seven texts.
He gave them a cursory glance and was about to reply when something collided with his
back.
Xie Yu was still looking down at his own phone, but he had leaned forward slightly and his
forehead rested against He Zhao’s back.
Xie Yu moved his fingers, tapping on the screen.
The next moment, He Zhao heard his phone vibrate.
[Little friend]: ?
Xie Yu waited for a while but He Zhao did not reply. He lifted his hand again and lightly
touched He Zhao’s back.
After several rounds of cards, it was about time for the class to regroup. Xu Qingqing put
the cards away and Liu Cunhao reminded everyone, “Do you remember where we’re
meeting? It’s almost time. Don’t be late.”
There was half an hour left. They couldn’t do anything in that time except walk around.
There were just a few small stores around left to visit.
Xu Qingqing was collecting the cards. Xie Yu had just handed them over when He Zhao
caught hold of his other wrist, then pulled him to one side, away from the chaos.
“What’s gotten into you?”
“Can I hug you?” He Zhao said. “Just for a while.”
Shen Jie passed the cards back, then looked around for He Zhao but found his spot empty.
He froze for a while, then glanced at his phone. On it was He Zhao’s message, short and
succinct: Let me introduce you: this is Xie Yu, my boyfriend.
After the cards were collected, the group wondered aloud again where they should go.
Luo Wenqiang suggested, “Let’s buy some local souvenirs?”
Liu Cunhao said, “C City is forty minutes away. What local things? What does C City have
that we don’t?”
After discussing it, they decided to go to the souvenir store after all. It would be a waste not
to buy anything after coming all this way, after all. They were about to leave when someone
noticed the headcount wasn’t right. “Leader, let’s go—wait, where’s our group leader?”
“Yu-ge isn’t here, either?”
“……”

Chapter 065.2 - Z Y
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
It was impossible to find an isolated spot in a tourist destination.
After walking around for a while, they ran into Liu Cunhao and the others at the entrance to
the local specialty store, and He Zhao did not manage to fulfil his dream of hugging his
boyfriend.
“Zhao-ge, I really didn’t think you were this type of person.”
“Leaving your group behind and running off with your deskmate. What kind of group
leader are you?”
“Never mind, never mind. What were you two doing?”
Everyone tried to get in a word as if this were a public shaming session.
He Zhao said, “All right, that’s enough.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “No, I’m thirsty. If a certain irresponsible group leader could buy us
some…”
This was a fairly blatant hint.
He Zhao went off to buy drinks and the others sat on a bench and waited.
Xie Yu glanced at the bags in their hands, then looked up at the sign reading Northlake
Specialty Store. Through the doorway, he didn’t see any specialty goods at all. Just snacks
and desserts. “You bought souvenirs?”
“Yes, look, Yu-ge, I bought a scarf.” Liu Cunhao opened his bag and pulled out a red floral-
print scarf.
Xie Yu was a bit confused. “How is this local?”
“It’s called local goods, but the actual location of production isn’t important. It’s just a
psychological thing.”
This lot really was open-minded.
When He Zhao returned with drinks, the tour guide was already taking attendance. “Is
everyone back? Group leaders, take a headcount.”
There were four to five classes all assembled here and it was terribly noisy.
After taking the headcount, the tour guide confirmed no one was missing and they got on
the bus back to school.
On the bus, Xie Yu continued watching the movie from that morning, and He Zhao reached
out to take an earbud.
Not long after, He Zhao suddenly said, “Hey, can I give you something?”
Xie Yu was trying to remember what the first half of the movie had been about and didn’t
react immediately.
He Zhao pulled two bracelets from his pocket.
Red string with a red bean threaded through.¹
“I saw them while I was getting drinks.” He Zhao seemed a little embarrassed—it was the
sort of trinket a little girl might like, after all. He paused, then continued, “Let me know
which hand you want it on.”
Xie Yu looked at it and said, “It’s a bit girly.”
“It’s about who wears it, right?” He Zhao said. “I think neither of us are girly at all.”
“…Zhao-ge, can you be less shameless?”
“There’s something engraved on it?”
Xie Yu said it was girly, but took it anyway. On the back of the red bean was engraved a ‘z.’
A simple English letter but He Zhao had managed to write it messily anyway.
He Zhao had been drawn by the store’s signboard. Something about never separating, tying
you and your loved one together, and free engraving if you buy today. One-of-a-kind
couples’ bracelets.
As if inviting praise, He Zhao said, “Yeah, I engraved it myself.”
Xie Yu said, “I know. No one else would do it this terribly.”
On the way back, the bus was not as noisy as it had been on the way here.
Everyone was tired from the day’s excursion and had earbuds in, falling asleep while
listening to music.
At the front of the bus, the tour guide was giving a speech about his thoughts and happiness
at having passed the day with Class 3. “In the sea of people, it’s fate that we got to meet.
After today, you’ll go back to school and attend classes again, and I hope that the joy you
felt today will accompany you…”
Xie Yu hesitated for a while and when even He Zhao was convinced his little friend
wouldn’t wear it, Xie Yu said, “All right, because it’s you.”
The bracelet wasn’t too bad-looking. An ordinary red string, no frills.
The design was simple and it was not girly when he wore it, after all.
Xie Yu’s wrist was slender and fine-boned, and seeing the red string hanging off it made He
Zhao’s throat tighten.
The engraving on He Zhao’s bracelet was a ‘y,’ for the ‘Yu’ in Xie Yu.
After putting it on, Xie Yu glanced at He Zhao’s. They looked at each other for a long time,
then He Zhao caught hold of Xie Yu’s hand and pushed their wrists together.
The bracelets twined together as if they were one.
After giving his speech, the tour guide sat down and the bus went completely quiet.
All that remained was Luo Wenqiang’s snoring.
Xie Yu was in no mood to pay attention to the movie. After watching for a while, he felt
sleepy, too, and slowly shut his eyes. He laid his head on He Zhao’s shoulder and fell asleep.
All good things must come to an end.
In the future when they retrieved this day from their memories, they would remember it as
an ordinary, boring day.
Old Tang had taught many classes over many years but he never got bored of the spring
and fall class trips, even though they happened every semester.
He stood up and clumsily took a photo with his phone camera, angling it carefully,
capturing an image of a bus full of sleeping students leaning every which way.
They slept for a long time on this journey.
When Xie Yu next opened his eyes the bus had turned into a side street near Erzhong.
Xu Qingqing quietly made a phone call. “Hey, mom, I’m almost there. Mm, are you at the
school gates?”
Luo Wenqiang’s snoring was too loud and Wan Da woke him up. “Gym rep! Nearly there!”
Luo Wenqiang rubbed the corner of his mouth, and only when he was about to get off the
bus did he think of being sad that the trip was over. “Ah, we’re here already?”
“It’s fine. The class trip is over, but there’s still the weekend, and we can look forward to the
long vacation and the winter holidays,” Liu Cunhao said. “There’s still hope for us all. All
right, everyone, we gave out caps this morning, now pass them back. I need to collect them
for Old Tang.”
The caps were Erzhong school property. They were distributed because the school worried
the students would get lost, or perhaps because one could tell at a glance who was from
Erzhong. They were ugly and no one wanted to wear them, but they were handed out on
every spring and fall class trip.
When He Zhao passed his cap forward, Liu Cunhao caught sight of the streak of red on his
wrist. He asked, “Zhao-ge, when did you get that bracelet?”
When Liu Cunhao was done he saw that an identical one hung from Xie Yu’s wrist. He
paused, then said, “…Yu-ge, you got one too? It looks quite nice. Is this another exam good
luck charm? One that’s been blessed?”
He Zhao: “……”
Xie Yu: “……”
When the first and second from last students in the year wore couples’ bracelets they were
still mistaken for exam good luck charms.

“We’re back—everyone, wake up. Go home if you’re going home and go back to the dorms
if you live there. Be careful on the way back,” Old Tang reminded everyone. “Get serious
now and do your weekend homework properly.”
He Zhao remembered that Xie Yu had not yet answered his question from before. “Are you
going home this weekend?”
Xie Yu did have to go home that weekend.
He had gone to Aunt Mei’s last weekend so if he didn’t spend this weekend with Madam Gu,
she wouldn’t say anything but she would be quietly upset.
“I’m going back.” Then Xie Yu continued, “Have to go back to appease my mom.”
He Zhao said, “Ah.”
A while later, he asked, “Then when does my little friend Xie Yu plan to appease his
boyfriend?”
Class 3 got off the bus.
Many parents had gathered around the school gates. Xu Qingqing’s mother had a sunhat on
and sat in her electric car chatting with other parents. She pulled an apple from a basket in
front of the car, got out, and walked over. “Are you hungry? What did you bring on the class
trip? I told you not to eat so many snacks.”
The parents all knew each other. Liu Cunhao had mentioned tearfully in the class group
chat that his mom had somehow formed a friendship with Qing-ge’s mom at the school
gates.
Liu Cunhao and the others walked over and greeted each other’s parents.
He Zhao got off the bus and glanced across the road.
Xie Yu didn’t need to take anything home—he hadn’t brought back the few sets of clothing
he had taken last weekend—but he still followed He Zhao to the dorm buildings.
Xie Yu followed He Zhao all the way back to his dorm room before He Zhao realized
something was wrong. “You’re not packing?”
Xie Yu replied, “I don’t need to bring anything.”
He Zhao was about to ask, ‘Then what are you doing here?’ when he heard Xie Yu say, “I
came to appease my boyfriend before I go.”
He Zhao had wanted to hug him but hadn’t found a suitable location the entire trip.
Xie Yu had intended to just hug him for a while before leaving, to appease him, but when
they touched he found it was not so easy to leave after all.
He Zhao pressed close to him, hands reaching inappropriately through the hem of his
school trousers and lowering his head to bite Xie Yu’s neck. “Shall I take care of it for you?”
Xie Yu hummed low in his throat. The sound made He Zhao tighten his hand, almost too
hard.
Xie Yu’s hands tightened on his bedsheets, muscles taut. The red string on his wrist made
his skin look even paler in contrast, a vivid and evocative sight.
When He Zhao had bought it, he had never imagined it would look this way on Xie Yu’s
wrist.
Fuck. He really was going to die.
When it was over, Xie Yu let go of the bedsheets, raising a hand to cover his eyes. He Zhao
got up to pull a tissue from a box at the head of the bed. He pulled several sheets out and
handed them to Xie Yu.
The air was thick with the scent of a certain fluid.
Xie Yu took it. Cleaning up didn’t seem to be working, so he got up to go back to his own
room and change his pants, then remembered that He Zhao was still hard.
“I advise you not to touch me,” He Zhao said hoarsely. “…Or you might not get to go back
and appease your mom.”
“Ah…” Xie Yu was just about to touch him, but at He Zhao’s words he turned around,
holding onto the edge of the bed. He got up and said, completely disaffected “Thanks, then.
Take a cold shower to cool off.”
When Xie Yu walked out of school towards the bus stop, the school gates were nearly
deserted.
On the bus, he called Madam Gu, who happily said “Sure, sure, sure,” on the other end of the
line.
Then Madam Gu asked, “Did you have a good time on the class trip? Are you hungry? What
do you want to eat when you get back?”
“It was fine. Just as expected,” Xie Yu said. “Anything is fine.”
When Xie Yu hung up he realized that He Zhao practically never went home on weekends.
He Zhao’s mother was overseas but Xie Yu had never heard He Zhao mention his father.
How magnanimous did a parent have to be to not be worried when their child got grades
like He Zhao’s?
Xie Yu kept thinking about it, then sent a text to He Zhao who should have finished his
shower by now. Are you done showering?
He Zhao replied very quickly:
No.
It won’t go down while I’m thinking of you.
……
Xie Yu got to the station before He Zhao finished his shower. He toweled his hair dry while
calling Xie Yu. “Are you home yet?”
Xie Yu got off the bus and said as he walked, “You sure take long showers.”
He Zhao laughed quietly. “Mm. It was long.”
Ignoring the teasing, Xie Yu asked, “You aren’t going home?”
“There’s no one at home. What do I need to go home for?” He Zhao sat on his bed, pulling
the cap off a pen with his teeth. He flipped open a textbook and said, “My dad is overseas
for work. He’s rarely home.”
“He doesn’t worry about you?”
“It’s not that he doesn’t worry. He just wants me to think about it for myself, and whatever I
want to do, he won’t stop me.”
He Zhao thought his dad was someone hard to come by, too. When he had said he didn’t
want to take the high school exams, he had been allowed to do so. Then when he stayed at
home after quitting school, his dad hadn’t lectured him about it, either. He had just done the
cost-benefit analysis with He Zhao and then let him make his own decision.
All he said was, “He Zhao, your life is your own.”
“I’m here. Later.”
“Mm.”
He Zhao had said, “Mm,” but he didn’t hang up.
Xie Yu stood in the doorway, leaning against the wall, and was tickled. “If I don’t hang up,
then are you not going to hang up?”
“I’m hanging up,” He Zhao said. “Go in.”
Xie Yu had just entered and changed his shoes when Gu Xuelan pushed a plate of fruit into
his hands. She said gravely, “Go and sit on the sofa and eat this. Dinner will be ready soon.”
The fruits were cut up neatly, several varieties arranged on a glass plate.
Xie Yu speared two pieces with a toothpick and ate them, then walked over and leaned
against the doorway, watching her.
Gu Xuelan cut up the vegetables, washed her hands, then turned and caught sight of Xie
Yu’s wrist accessory. “When did you get that?”
Xie Yu followed her eyes downward to his wrist. He said, “Ah, this… I got it on the class
trip.”
Gu Xuelan didn’t think any more of it. She knew Xie Yu better than anyone. He didn’t
interact much with others. So she said, “When you were little I bought you a gold pendant
but you didn’t like wearing it, and when I put it around your neck you cried”
Xie Yu said nothing.
Zhong Guofei had come back early tonight and the three of them ate dinner together. The
dinner table was quiet, and Xie Yu had no interest in Madam Gu telling Zhong Guofei about
Madam Chen or Madam Lu. He ate a little, then got up to go upstairs.
Gu Xuelan asked, “Won’t you eat some more?”
Xie Yu said, “No need. I’m full. You all continue.”
Soon, Xie Yu found that when he was alone he kept thinking about a certain idiot’s
excavator-piloting future.
He had seen He Zhao’s midterm papers. It wasn’t completely hopeless. He Zhao had
answered several questions correctly, the ones which Old Wu had gone over multiple times
in class that if anyone still got wrong might have caused him to expire from anger.
Xie Yu thought about it, then turned on his PC and opened a Word document, then typed
out: Content summary for the college exams.
11 p.m.
He Zhao was in his dorm room doing mock exam papers when a notification popped up on
his phone screen.
—You have 1 new message.
Translation notes:
[1] A gift of a bracelet with a red bean means ‘I like you, and want to be with you’. Red bean
means ‘thinking of you’ and symbolize ure love, and are given as lovers’ gifts. One popular
depiction is in the poem ‘Thoughts of Each Other; by Wang Wei. Red thread bracelets are
often worn by couples and mean ‘together forever.’

Chapter 066 - Don’t love me. It’s pointless.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The subject line of the email read: Face the college exams and escape low scores.
He Zhao put his pen down and glanced at the sender field. He didn’t know them. The QQ
email account was newly created, and not on his friends list.
His first thought was that it was spam.
When school had started, He Zhao had put down his own phone number as the parental
contact number.
Who knew where after-school tutors got students’ personal information. Every few days he
received annoying texts, and the advertisements got even more aggressive during exam
season. Hello, parent of He Zhao. This is XXX College Exam Prep Class. We understand how
your child is doing in school and sincerely recommend our 80-day boot camp. Our capable
teachers will tutor your child one-on-one…
At the entrance to Erzhong, various tutoring organizations also distributed flyers and
occasionally conducted surveys.
The last time he had gone out with Xie Yu to eat, he had run into one.
Several people holding clipboards stood at the gates, looking around. Seeing the two
students emerge from the restaurant around the corner, they had approached. “Hello, can
you…”
Xie Yu instantly replied, “No.”
They had stood there stunned for a while. They had probably never met someone like him.
Nevertheless, they refused to give up, and tried again. “If we could have a moment, we
are…”
“I don’t want to know,” Xie Yu said. “Can you move? You’re blocking the road.”
Remembering this, He Zhao wanted to laugh again. He thought, My little friend must be
salespeople’s worst nightmare.
He didn’t even give them a chance to finish.
He really was chilly.

He Zhao opened the email expecting it to be spam, but it was not quite the 80-day boot
camp advertisement he had expected.
—It really was an email containing study materials.
Without a single word of advertisement.
The email consisted of several sections organized by subject, covering the contents on the
main exam. The guides were very straightforward and logical, without a single unnecessary
word.
He Zhao glanced at it twice and didn’t notice anything complicated. It looked like a guide
for bad students to learn the basics.
In sum, this was a near-perfect foundational guide.
Xie Yu had stayed up all night compiling the critical points of each subject for He Zhao and
was about to go to sleep, but his head had just hit the pillow when the class group chat
exploded again.
At the head of his bed, his phone vibrated several times.
[He Zhao]: @v=s*h, study rep, what are you doing?
[v=s*h ]: I’m memorizing English words.
[Luo Wenqiang]: Study rep, what time is it? You’re still fighting?
[v=s*h ]: It’s still early. You sleep so early? I can’t sleep, and the more I read the more
energy I have.
[Luo Wenqiang]: All right, that’s enough. You’re the most impressive.
[He Zhao]: No, I mean what did you email me in the middle of the night for?
Xue Xisheng had no idea what was happening.
[v=s*h ]: What email?
[He Zhao]: Study guide?
[v=s*h]：？
[He Zhao]: What’s that question mark for? It wasn’t you?
The mysterious study guide incited a burst of enthusiasm in everyone from Class 3. It was
the middle of the night but they all didn’t sleep, looking instead at He Zhao’s screenshot and
letting their imaginations run wild.
[Liu Cunhao]: Might it be Old Wu?
[Xu Qingqing]: No, Old Wu wouldn’t make a new email. He would have just sent it.
[Liu Cunhao]: Shall we just ask him? @Mr. Wu Zheng
After ruling out the study rep and the math teacher, none of them knew who else in their
class would do such a thing.
[Wan Da]: Maybe it’s like this…
Eventually, they came up with a story of a besotted girl who had had a crush on He Zhao for
a long time. She couldn’t have him, but loved him to death and had watched him from afar.
[Xu Qingqing]: That’s definitely it. And from the study guide we can see that this girl gets
good grades. Very logical. For instance, the explanation for this example is very structured.
[Wan Da]: Yes, yes. Her love, usually repressed in her heart, finally bursts forth on a
thoughtful night like this!
[He Zhao]: Ah, is that so.
“……” Xie Yu, lying on his bed, put one hand to his forehead. He forced out, “Idiot.” He wasn’t
sure if he was cursing He Zhao or himself.
After Xu Qingqing and the others had analyzed it, this strange and twisted love story really
did sound like it could be true.
Xie Yu had not completed the study guide and had only sent He Zhao the basics. Although
Class 3’s imagination left him speechless, he continued to write the study guide.
The examples and facts in the basics version were not nearly sufficient. The college exams
were much more difficult than that.
The next day, after Xie Yu got out of bed, he made another guide.
As with the previous document, the guide was divided into sections. It covered several
common trap questions and the various ways a single content point could be tested.
“Don’t stay in your room all day.” Near noon, Madam Gu knocked on his door. “Come
downstairs for lunch.”
Xie Yu said, still typing, “Got it.”
Gu Xuelan sighed. “Got it, got it… I don’t think you get it at all.”
Madam Gu waited outside the door for a while. Xie Yu saved the document and used the
same QQ email account from before to send the file to He Zhao.
[Email sent successfully.]
At lunch, Gu Xuelan kept pressing the topic. “What are you doing in your room?”
Xie Yu took a piece of pork rib and put it in Gu Xuelan’s bowl, then said, “Studying.”
“As if.”
After passing over the pork rib, Xie Yu took some of a vegetable dish for himself and said
nothing more.
He was always like that. Although he never studied, he always made the excuse that he was
studying.
He always said that he wasn’t coming home on weekends because he wanted to focus on
studying in school. And then his grades were second from last in the year anyway. Who
knew what on earth he had been studying.
Gu Xuelan eventually concluded, Forget it. The meal would be ruined if they kept talking
about it.
Xie Yu finished his lunch, went back upstairs, and was about to log out of the QQ account
when he saw a little red dot next to his inbox.
He opened it and saw a new email.
The subject line was five words: Don’t love me. It’s pointless.
Sender: He Zhao.
The body of the email was even more of the same, something along the lines of, “I already
have a partner.”
I have a very close relationship with my partner.
Friend, I don’t know who you are, but I hope you understand that it’s impossible between
us.
Do you understand what I’m saying?
It seemed that He Zhao had absorbed every word Xu Qingqing and the others had said
yesterday.
Xie Yu sat in front of the computer staring at the rejection letter for a long time, unsure how
to react.
“Damn.” Xie Yu closed out of the page, then murmured to himself, “…I’m that partner.”
He Zhao was usually so annoying Xie Yu was very tempted to block him, but he was quieter
this weekend.
Xie Yu accompanied Madam Gu to a nearby park for a walk. They didn’t have much to talk
about, so he mentioned some things from class and Madam Gu seemed quite happy.
It was past 1pm when he next got a call from He Zhao.
“I held it in for very long before I called you.” It was noisy on He Zhao’s end of the phone—
he was probably outside. “Thought you mightn’t be up yet.”
Xie Yu stepped into his room and leaned against the door. “What do you think I am,
sleeping until this time of day?”
“A pig?”
“You’re the damn pig.”
“All right,” He Zhao said. “I’m a pig.”
They chatted for a while and Xie Yu heard someone on He Zhao’s end say, “68 yuan. Cash or
credit?”
He Zhao was holding his phone and couldn’t scan a QR code, so he reached into his pocket
and said, “Cash, and can I have a bag? Thank you.”
Xie Yu waited for him to pay before asking, “You went out?”
“Mm.” He Zhao stood in the bookshop, two copies of The Complete Guide to the College
Exams on the counter. He had shopped around for a long time before carefully selecting
this extra-curricular study material for his boyfriend. He said vaguely, “…Came out to buy
something.”
Xie Yu thought that He Zhao was probably at a convenience store getting something to eat.
Not many students stayed at Erzhong over the weekend and only one stall was open at the
cafeteria, offering a small selection of food. Probably incomparable to home cooking.
Students who stayed over the weekend usually went out to eat or bought some instant
noodles and snacks to tide them over.
The cashier counted out He Zhao’s change, put the books in the bag, and gave both to He
Zhao.
He Zhao pushed open the door, carrying the bags, and glanced down at the red string on his
wrist. He asked Xie Yu, “Are you still wearing the bracelet?”
Xie Yu glanced at his own wrist. The red string still hung there, the red bean with the Z
carved on it resting on his wristbone. “Yes. What about it?”
“Nothing, just asking.”
Although they weren’t physically together, strangely, linked by the red line, they both felt
that the other was near.
As if they were breathing the same air.
The weekend passed quickly and it was Monday again.
Xie Yu glanced at the time as he waited for the bus back to school. It was that time of
morning when ‘Loyalty to the Country’ would usually resound through the air. He then
thought of Dean Jiang’s daily encouraging speech which had never skipped a day and the
daily groans of misery that echoed through the dorm building.
Xie Yu thought about it, then called He Zhao.
“Are you awake?”
“How can I sleep?” He Zhao had been freshly woken by the broadcast and his voice was still
hoarse. He sat up and asked, “You’re on the bus? When do you get back?”
Before Xie Yu left, Madam Gu had pushed a can of milk into his hands and made him
promise to drink it on the bus to aid nutrition. The milk was still warm and he bit on the
straw as he said, “…Half an hour.”
Xie Yu’s voice was muffled and gentle, a little soft.
He Zhao asked, “Are you eating something?”
Xie Yu said, “Drinking milk.”
Thinking it sounded strange, Xie Yu added, “Cow’s milk.”
He Zhao cursed on the other end of the line.
Xie Yu asked, “Are you sick?”
He Zhao replied, “Does morning wood count as sick?”
As a guy, He Zhao was prone to specific biological reactions. He was imagining his little
friend quietly drinking milk and gave himself a hard time.
When Xie Yu got to the classroom, He Zhao had not yet arrived.
Wan Da and the others had arrived early and were huddled together, copying homework.
No one dared leave any questions blank, so even if they copied only the formula steps, they
still wrote something for every question. Wan Da glanced up, saw Xie Yu, and greeted him.
“Yu-ge, you’re early… where’s Zhao-ge?”
Xie Yu said, walking to the back row, “He’s taking a shower.”
Wan Da asked, “Showering at this time?”
Xie Yu was about to go on, but then he saw the two copies of The Complete Guide to the
College Exams on his desk and stopped. “……”
What the hell was this?

Chapter 067 - The Complete Guide to the College Exams.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Two brand-new copies of The Complete Guide to the College Exams. On the covers, in bold
red letters, was printed: Bad grades? Don’t worry! The right guidebook is the key to
success!
Wan Da copied two questions, closed his exercise book, then continued fretting about He
Zhao showering in the morning. “You and He Zhao both seem to take a lot of showers. Last
time, too… are you two germophobes?”
He then remembered Xie Yu’s words, ‘None of your business,’ and stopped.
Xie Yu stood by the desk, flipping through the books, and noticed that the slogan on the
cover was genuine.
This guidebook was well-written. It covered content in detail and had thorough
explanations of the examples and revision questions. One could grasp the class material
just by reading it.
“Whose is this?” Xie Yu’s fingers stilled on the contents page. There was no name written in
the book and Xie Yu thought it suspicious. Maybe someone had accidentally left it there.
“Take it back.”
Liu Cunhao was erasing the blackboard. Hearing this, he turned around, still holding the
washcloth. “What is it?”
Wan Da was a busybody who went anywhere there was trouble, and immediately ran over.
He sat in the empty seat in front of Xie Yu’s desk and observed. “Books? Yu-ge, aren’t these
yours?”
Xie Yu retorted, “Does this look like something of mine?”
Wan Da: “……”
Xie Yu could not be refuted.
The two skilled ‘bottom-of-the-class’ students never did their homework. Their textbooks
were as pristine as they day they received them; they had never touched them, and the
books were still like new.
Aside from textbooks, they didn’t have any even remotely study-related things.
Xie Yu’s desk was clean and empty. He Zhao’s occasionally contained lollipop wrappers.
When teachers lectured, Xie Yu and He Zhao never had their worksheets on hand, always
missing something or otherdelivered the material, they never had their papers on hand,
always missing one or the other. When they were lucky, they were missing different parts
and could share, so they listened to class together.
All the subject teachers were mad at them. “—What’s wrong with you two? Can’t you hold
onto your worksheets properly?”
“I was the first in here today and I didn’t see anyone come in.” Liu Cunhao also thought
someone might have misplaced their books. “When everyone’s here we can ask about it
again.”
But when the class had all arrived and Xie Yu took the books around, asking again, no one
claimed them.
Liu Cunhao, watching him, thought that he would make a good class rep, actually. He was
very intimidating. He stood on the podium, glanced around the class, and they instantly
went quiet.
“One last time,” Xie Yu said. “Whose are these?”
Xu Qingqing shook her head. “Don’t look at me. I don’t know. They’re not mine.”
Luo Wenqiang had bought his own copy a long time ago and made many markings on it,
and as he went on about it, he strayed off topic. “This is a good guidebook. My home tutor
recommended it to me, and I really think everyone should get it. You just need to flip
through it for a while, and then, like me, you’ll fall in love with it.”
Xie Yu: “……”
He Zhao arrived as class was about to start.
Seeing a crowd around the back row, he wondered what they were talking about.
“What are you doing?” He Zhao crooked a finger and knocked on the door. “Such a ruckus
so early in the morning.”
Xie Yu had gotten a headache from the noise this lot was making. Hearing He Zhao, he
propped his forehead with his hand and glanced backward.
He Zhao wore a thin sweater inside his school jacket. His hair was still damp, a charging
cord in hand as he leaned against the doorframe. He had folded his sleeves up, revealing his
wrists.
For a moment, their gazes met in the air.
When Xie Yu’s eyes met He Zhao’s, the noise around him suddenly grew faraway.
It had been only a weekend, but He Zhao felt that a long time had passed. He didn’t hold the
thought for long before Xie Yu said, “I don’t know which idiot put books on my desk.”
He Zhao: “……”
“Zhao-ge, do you know where these books came from?” Wan Da looked up and asked.
He Zhao said, “Ah?”
Wan Da said, “No one comes to the classrooms on weekends, and the doors and windows
are always locked. How did these two books get here?”
Although the classroom door had been locked, one of the windows didn’t have a secure
fastening and could be opened easily by pushing it upwards.
He Zhao, who had climbed through the window and placed the books on the desk, was
unsure how to react. “Ah…”
Wan Da and the others kept guessing along the same lines as before. “If it’s not Old Tang,
it’s someone with a crush on Yu-ge. Maybe they were unsure what gifts to give him,
thinking chocolate and things like that aren’t novel enough, and after thinking about it for a
long time, only The Complete Guide to the College Exams…”
He Zhao: “……”
As Wan Da went on, he found that this story sounded very familiar. He slapped his
forehead. “Isn’t this very like Zhao-ge’s email? Might they besisters?”
A vein throbbed at Xie Yu’s forehead.
Before Wan Da could put the email and the study guide side by side to analyze, the class
bell rang and everyone returned to their seats.
He Zhao let out a breath.
Xie Yu put the study guides at the side of his desk.
“Going by your mid-term grades, you lost many points on reading comprehension. We’ll
read several passages today for practice. Finish them in class, then we’ll go over them.” Old
Tang distributed the worksheets, then said, “Analyze the questions carefully. If you run into
issues, try to understand why.”
Xie Yu took the paper the classmate in front passed him, then handed He Zhao one, too.
Then he put both arms over the paper and lay down to sleep.
He Zhao nudged him. “Old Xie.”
Xie Yu asked, “What?”
He Zhao wasn’t sure what to say, so he held his pen tighter and said, “That… book.”
Xie Yu thought He Zhao was jealous. He Zhao often got so jealous over small things he could
flip vinegar jars for days.¹ Even for a simple game, he warned Xie Yu not to pick dare.
Xie Yu thought about it and thought he understood He Zhao’s intentions. “I won’t keep it.”
He Zhao said, “…Then where are you going to put it?”
Xie Yu wanted to give his boyfriend a sense of security and there was no point in keeping it,
anyway. Might as well take it to get a refund. “I’ll toss it.”
They went over three modern readings during the class period. Old Tang kept picking He
Zhao to answer questions.
Xie Yu slept through half the class period. When he next opened his eyes he heard Old Tang
say, “He Zhao, stand up and answer this. How did you answer this question—Why was the
author crying?”
He Zhao stood up, but before he said anything Wan Da and the others had already started
to laugh.
Old Tang said, “What are you all laughing about?”
Bravely, Liu Cunhao answered, “We’ll laugh before he even says anything, to show him
respect.”
He Zhao did not let Liu Cunhao and the others down. He analyzed the author’s tears from
many angles: perhaps he had a fragile psychology, because real men didn’t cry easily, or
perhaps he had an eye infection… He Zhao thought of even the most subtle reasons.
When He Zhao was done, the class was silent for several minutes, then erupted into
laughter. “Zhao-ge, you really never let us down.”
He Zhao: “High praise, high praise.”
Xie Yu rubbed his temples in despair.
“Come to my office when you have some time.” Old Tang was in even more despair than Xie
Yu; he almost couldn’t breathe. He drank some wolfberry tea and paused for a while before
continuing, “And bring your paper with you.”
When Old Tang said “Come by when you have some time,” everyone made the excuse that
they didn’t have time in order not to go.
No one wanted to go to the faculty office and dragged it out as long as they could. Perhaps
when the earth was old and the sky was barren, Old Tang himself would have forgotten.
After class, He Zhao and some of the guys from the next row grabbed some of Luo
Wenqiang’s dry noodle snacksand Luo Wenqiang nearly jumped up and started beating
them up. “Are you done?! If you keep taking, there’ll be none left.”
He Zhao had broken off a piece and now reached out for more.
Luo Wenqiang said, “You’re all bandits!”
He Zhao said, breaking some more off, “My deskmate, too.”
Xie Yu had just finished a round on his phone game and happened to hear He Zhao. He put
his phone in his pocket, got up, and walked over.
Luo Wenqiang thought finally someone with a conscience had arrived and begged him, “Yu-
ge, save me.”
Xie Yu pushed up his sleeves and said to He Zhao, “You broke it into too many pieces. I’ll get
some myself.”
“……” Luo Wenqiang had an expression of pure shock. “You two are bandit deskmates?!”
He Zhao, who should have gone to the faculty office, didn’t go, but Wan Da went.
At any sign of movement, Know-It-All would even stoop to knocking at the door with
worksheet in hand and asking for homework help in order to get some news.
By this time, when Old Wu and the others saw him with a worksheet in hand, they always
joked, “You’re really here for help?”
After Luo Wenqiang’s dry noodles had made its rounds, Wan Da returned from the office.
“There will be an arts festival soon,” he said, reaching for the bag of dry noodles. “Every
class has to come up with a theme. Arts rep, prepare yourself. We have to win this race.”
Class 3’s arts rep was a girl who had danced since a young age and she was quite excited at
the news. “Really?”
Wan Da said, “The school anniversary is two weeks from now. It’s definitely true.”
At the subject of the arts festival, the class got noisy again. Only Luo Wenqiang held on to
the dregs of his dry noodles in the bag and was quietly sad.
For an event like this, most classes would pick a dozen or so people to dance, sing, or hold a
skit. With so many people looking on, they had to put on a good show. They couldn’t lose
out on making their presence felt.
The arts rep had already begun selecting class representatives. He Zhao turned and asked,
“Going, Old Xie?”
Xie Yu didn’t even consider it. “Nope.”
“Why not?” He Zhao remembered the black nail polish incident and the days when Xie Yu’s
reputation was carried on the winds of this story. “You have experience, don’t you? That
competition on your street…”
Xie Yu said, “Don’t mention it or I’ll punch you.”
Translation notes:
[1] flipping vinegar jars for days: extremely jealous

Chapter 068 - Radiant, making waves wherever he stands.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“What about the middle-aged dance competition?” He Zhao said. “That was impressive too.
Not everyone gets a chance like that.”
Xie Yu looked at him and slowly pushed his sleeves up his forearms, then rotated his wrists.
“Are you sure you want to keep talking about this?”
The meaning was obvious: Keep goddamn talking and you’ll die where you stand.
He Zhao kept asking, “Did everyone cheer when you went on stage?”
“Did you win anything?”
“……”
Liu Cunhao and the others were still writing down their names and discussing songs at the
same time. Before they had decided on a song, they heard a crash from the back row.
The sound of someone kicking over a chair was very familiar.
“Oh.” Liu Cunhao glanced backwards, then said calmly, “Ignore them. Let’s continue.”
Luo Wenqiang scratched his head and mumbled, “Did I miss something? I feel like they fight
less these days.”
And whenever they were together there seemed to be an invisible barrier separating them
from their surroundings.
It was a very subtle feeling, and no one could pinpoint just exactly what was strange about
it.
Xie Yu was not tactful in the least. He Zhao took several blows before catching hold of Xie
Yu’s wrist, and nearly tripped over the chair as he moved back. “You’re really hitting me?”
Then he added in a whisper, “You’re really hitting your boyfriend?”
Xie Yu bent down, picked up the chair on the floor, and pushed it out of his way. “You asked
for it.”
During lunch break, Old Tang came to distribute the homework and inform everyone of the
arts festival.
“I have something to tell you—next week is the school anniversary. Wan Da has probably
already told you.” Laughter erupted from below. Old Tang paused, then continued, “Every
class has to prepare a performance. Everyone, sign up, and let’s put together a skit or
something—Xu Jing, you take care of it.”
The arts rep, hearing her name, raised her hand and said, “Will do, Mr. Tang.”
Xie Yu had no interest in the performing arts and his previous experience of dancing on
stage had already left a heavy black mark on his heart. It ranked among the top three most
embarrassing experiences of his life.
While Old Tang was talking, he was slumped on his desk, sleeping, and didn’t notice that
the arts rep was now eyeing him and He Zhao.
Secretly, Xu Jing wanted the two of them to lead the performance.
They were the face of Class 3, after all, so their appearance would definitely make waves.
The performances would be graded by the teachers, and since Class 3 was participating
they definitely wanted to do well.
“Will He Zhao want to participate?”
After Old Tang left, several of them put their heads together. After Xu Jing asked this, Liu
Cunhao banged on the table and said, “Of course he will. No need to even ask. Look at Zhao-
ge! So radiant, and making waves wherever he stands. The world is his stage.”
Then Xu Jing asked, “What about Xie Yu?”
Liu Cunhao fell silent.
Luo Wenqiang considered it. “That… that is a little more difficult. How about someone else?
How about me? My coordination is quite good.”
Wan Da said, “Difficult is an understatement… you might want to start thinking about
which cemetery you want to lie in after you’re dead.”
They discussed it until class was about to begin, then they went downstairs to the quad and
lined up. They still had not come to a conclusion.
Gym class was still free activity. Since the basketball team no longer welcomed He Zhao and
refused to let him play with them no matter what, He Zhao went over to Xu Qingqing’s side
and collected two badminton rackets. “Old Xie, coming?”
Xie Yu took one of the rackets. It was just badminton. Back and forth, He Zhao wouldn’t be
able to play any of his tricks. “Are we going to the stadium?”
“If there’s room,” He Zhao said. “If not, outside’s fine, too.”
The stadium was packed with shuttlecocks flying through the air, and the rest areas on
both sides were also packed. Xie Yu walked all the way to the end of the hall before finding
an empty space.
They stood on either end.
He Zhao unzipped his jacket, making the first show of strength.
He was just done bragging when a brutal smash from Xie Yu flew diagonally across the
court at him. “Cut the crap.”
Xu Qingqing had not found a spot to play badminton, so she sat to the side, and the arts rep
approached her to help pick songs.
All three songs she picked were very upbeat and would get the school going.
“Listen and tell me which you like,” Xu Jing said. “Wan Da and the others think the second
song is best. I think we should decide today. Ah, I really want to ask Xie Yu to participate…
but I don’t dare to.”
Xu Qingqing couldn’t decide and said “I think they’re all good.” She heard the crowd begin
to murmur around her, so she pulled out her earphones and looked up only to catch sight of
the two Big Bros playing badminton in the corner.
Although they were standing at the far end of the hall, they were still the most eye-catching
of the lot.
On the class trip they had joked that their Zhao-ge was the one person who would never be
lost, because anyone would recognize him just from his silhouette.
Many people around them were also looking on, saying behind their hands, “So cool.”
Someone else said, “But they’re playing so brutally.”
Xie Yu played badminton just like he beat people up. When he jumped up to smash the
shuttlecock, his chilly and sharp aura could hit you in the face.
He Zhao had not been prepared at first and Xie Yu’s smash nearly defeated him. But he
reacted quickly, analyzed where the ball would land, retreated several steps on instinct,
and managed to return the serve.
They hit the shuttlecock back and forth, running a little farther each time.
Xie Yu, especially, played like his life depended on it.
“Damn.” Seeing how Xie Yu was playing, He Zhao was forced to play seriously, too. He took
off his jacket and threw it to the ground. “You’re aggressive, little friend.”
“So-so.”
The air circulation was bad in the indoor stadium and Xie Yu felt breathless, so he unzipped
his own jacket and said, “Just a bit stronger than you.”
Xie Yu had never gotten used to playing sports with Dalei and the others. Dalei had always
said, “Are you playing the game or are you fighting? We have to coordinate, you know?
We’re a team. Boss Xie, if I invite you along the next goddamn time you can call me a dog.”
But after Dalei had slept on it, he forgot all about it and brought his ball with him the next
day anyway. “Let’s go. Basketball. I invited Xiao-hu from the next street over, too. We’ll
have it out today.”
All the kids of similar age in this area had formed basketball teams. Probably influenced by
the movies, they also liked to give themselves ridiculous nicknames.
Little Tiger Army, Black Bull Army…
The game was well underway and Xie Yu was starting to sweat, so he took off his own
jacket. While He Zhao was picking up the shuttlecock, he bent at the waist and pulled at his
collar, fanning himself.
The light sweater Xie Yu was wearing inside was loose-fitting, and when he raised his arm
to catch the shuttlecock, the material followed his movements, faintly outlining his waist.
Following that line of sight, He Zhao could also see his defined collarbones, and beneath
that…
Xie Yu was still waiting for He Zhao to toss the shuttlecock over, but He Zhao just said, “I’m
done.”
Xie Yu’s hand was still on his collar. “Ah?”
He Zhao said, “You broke the rules.”
Broke the rules, my ass.
What rule did I break?
Before Xie Yu could figure it out, He Zhao had already called Xu Qingqing to take his place.
“Qing-ge, you didn’t find a spot, right? Come on.”
Xu Qinqing and Xu Jing walked over, carrying their rackets.
Xu Jing was still thinking about the arts program. She plucked up her courage and asked Xie
Yu, “Hey, Classmate Xie, will you perform with us at the arts festival? You can pick your
role. Center stage is fine, if you want…”
Xie Yu was putting his jacket back on.
He didn’t really remember who this girl was. Despite being classmates for so long, he didn’t
even remember her name.
But the girl was watching him, both attentive and hopeful. Her clear eyes shone brightly.
Although she seemed scared, she still stood in front of him and said her piece.
Xu Qingqing stood beside He Zhao. Seeing that Xu Jing really had approached Xie Yu, she
said in surprise, “With Yu-ge’s personality… does Jing-jing want to die? Everyone knows he
won’t do it.”
But He Zhao smiled and said, “That’s not a given.”
They were too far away to hear what Xie Yu and Xu Jing were saying. Xie Yu finished saying
his piece, zipped his jacket closed, and carried his badminton racket over.
Xie Yu tossed the racket to He Zhao. “Let’s go.”
He Zhao caught it and waved to Xu Qingqing. “See you, Qing-ge.”
Xu Qingqing waved back, stunned, then walked up and leaned against the net dividing the
court in two. “How did it go? What did Yu-ge say?”
Xu Jing hadn’t recovered, either. She didn’t answer the question, but said, “Can you pinch
me?”
Does that mean he agreed?
Xu Jing said, “He agreed, I guess. Although he was very cold about it. He said, “Whatever.””
The participant name list quickly reached Old Tang’s hands. Old Tang was very vehement
that their participation was the important thing and how they ranked in the competition
was secondary. They started rehearsals during class time.
Class 3 had a specific temperament: Although they didn’t dance well, they were all
immersed in their own performance and all thought themselves very cool.
Besides, He Zhao was leading them, so the classroom had become their stage.
Only Xie Yu still sat in his seat. After learning the moves, he stepped aside and watched the
others go mad.
He Zhao, done making a scene, stood next to him.
Xie Yu drank half of a bottle of water, then handed it to He Zhao. “King of the stage, you’re
not dancing any more?”
He Zhao gulped the water, wiped his mouth with his hand, then said, “They learn very. The
students surpass the teacher, really.”
Xie Yu had disliked the commotion just now and put his earbuds in. Now, taking them out,
he found that they had inherited He Zhao’s attitude. Anywhere there was an audience, was
their stage.
Liu Cunhao: “We’re the Coolest Guy Group in the Universe!”
Wan Da “Friends over here, put your hands in the air!”
Luo Wenqiang: “You’re not loud enough! Make some more noise!”
“……”
Old Wu was carrying his study materials into class, and this threefold shout made him
jump. Thinking for a moment that he had entered the wrong classroom, he retreated
several paces, made sure the sign on the door said Class 2.3, then said, “What are you
doing?! Are you going to make your debut? All this nonsense about this coolest guy group
in the universe.”
Class began. Everyone calmed down and paid attention.
Old Wu finished explaining a concept, then started giving out homework. Something
seemed to occur to him and he picked up his chalk again. “There is a little more to this
concept. I’ll explain it. You might not understand, and if that’s the case, that’s fine. Don’t
worry about it. Just do the parts you know how to do.”
Xie Yu looked up at the blackboard. Old Wu was explaining a question format that touched
on several content points, with quite a novel approach.
Most of the students had glanced at the question and immediately given up on it.
Xie Yu read the question, then took out his phone to draft an answer on his notes
application, but discovered that He Zhao, who had been playing a game all class period, was
also looking at the blackboard.
He Zhao was still holding his phone, a game interface on the screen. The avatar named
‘Handsome He’ was currently being slaughtered by a dungeon boss and lost all its health.

Chapter 069 - When you have problems in school, I can only watch
you get frustrated but I can’t help you at all.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
He Zhao was still reading the question, following each of the notes Old Wu had written in
red chalk. After doing the arithmetic, he considered several ways of approaching the
question.
The concept Old Wu had explained in class was quite straightforward, but even simple
concepts became more complicated when they were tested using functions.
He Zhao wanted to grab a piece of scratch paper and draft an answer.
Xie Yu glanced at He Zhao and noticed that he was looking at the blackboard even more
intently than he had been looking at his game.
He Zhao wasn’t very enthusiastic about gaming. He tapped here and there but didn’t get
invested.
Rather than liking gaming, it seemed more that he was bored and had nothing to do.
But he was good at the game and had a lot of tricks up his sleeve. During evening self-study,
Wan Da and the others often invited He Zhao to play with them, or asked him which server
he was on.
He Zhao always responded, “I’m not playing with you today. I’m playing a couples’
formation with my deskmate.”
Wan Da doggedly kept on inviting him, hoping to get a good player on his team. “Yu-ge?
That’s more like a solo suicide mission, right? Don’t you want to play in an actual team?”
Xie Yu finally reached out and tapped on He Zhao’s phone screen.
On the game interface, ‘Handsome He’ dodged an attack and swung his sword in a
counterattack before running off to the side, still trailing blood.
Xie Yu retracted his hand, then asked, “What were you thinking so hard about?”
“Look at these conditions to determine the boundaries of the question.” Old Wu laid out the
critical points and drew a diagram, then rapped on the blackboard with a ruler. “Take a few
minutes to think about this…”
Old Wu wanted to call someone up to the blackboard to solve the question, but glancing
around the class he found that only Xue Xisheng was actively trying to do the question. He
said, “Study rep, come up and solve it.”
Xue Xisheng pushed up his glasses, got up, walked to the blackboard, and wrote the word
‘Solution:’ practically tucked away in the upper left corner of the board.
He Zhao quickly gave his avatar a healing potion and fell silent.
Surely, he couldn’t say, Old Xie, this extension question is quite simple. In the last minute, I
thought of three different ways to solve it. Do you want to hear them?
Thankfully, Xie Yu didn’t keep asking.
Xie Yu wrote down several solution steps in his notes app, ordered his thoughts, then
deleted the note. He opened his calculator app and started to do the arithmetic.
Neither of them were well-versed in love, but many of their peers had gotten into
relationships early.
Based on Wan Da’s rumors alone, all the couples in school lined up might be able to
circumnavigate the school grounds twice. He went on about which students from which
class had just gotten together, but that person from that class had just split up with that
other person… there were all kinds of reasons for breaking up. They seemed to be dating
just for fun.
The biggest scandal had happened last year. Even Xie Yu, who didn’t listen to gossip, knew
about it.
There had been a girl with good grades, the literature rep of her class. The sort of girl who
gave speeches at the yearly parent assembly, and who looked well-behaved and demure.
But she had gotten into a relationship with a transfer student who led a messy life.
After a while, the transfer student had wanted to break up but the girl had staunchly
refused.
When they broke up, they made a big scene in the corridor. The transfer student said,
pained, “We’re not compatible. Forget it. When you have problems in school, I can only
watch you get frustrated but I can’t help you at all.”
“If I run into something I don’t understand, I can ask the teacher—”
“No, you don’t get it. This isn’t something that a teacher can solve. This is a communication
gap between us that we can’t bridge.”
“……”
This story was still making the rounds on Erzhong’s school forum to this day. The thread
was highlighted in red and pinned.
Xie Yu solved the math problem, then cleared his notes app again. He thought, No rush. We
can take our time.
But he had no idea that He Zhao was also thinking, No, if there’s too big a gap my little
friend might become self-conscious.
Xue Xisheng had picked a complicated solution, and his notes covered half the blackboard.
He had also made a mistake: while solving for x, he had forgotten to consider the range of
validity.
Near the end of class, Old Wu briefly went over the solution to the problem.
He Zhao was still on his phone game, and he glanced up at the blackboard while the game
was loading. During class, he had finished all the missions currently available to him when
he saw a team invitation from Shen Jie as he was about to go offline. Reflexively, he hit
accept.
Wu Zheng reminded the class rep to collect homework from the faculty office later on, then
packed up his things and went to the class next door.
Xie Yu had just put away his phone when he heard He Zhao curse.
Xie Yu initially thought he had lost a round, but when he moved closer and glanced at He
Zhao’s screen, he noticed that one of the characters on the screen was female, wearing a
skirt and with long hair.
He Zhao had earbuds in and had probably turned on team voice chat. Xie Yu reached out
and took one of the earbuds, putting it in his own ear, and heard a girl’s soft voice. “I don’t
really know how to play this game. Can you protect me later on?”
Xie Yu wound his finger around the cord. He drawled, “You’re living the good life, ge. Even
helping girls.”
He Zhao had his own difficulties.
When Shen Jie had invited him to join the team just now, he had asked him to help a new
player, saying this concerned his lifelong happiness but he had a stomachache and needed
to go to the toilet.
Before He Zhao could refuse, Shen jie had added the girl to the team and run off.
“No,” He Zhao immediately explained. Xie Yu’s jealousy was obvious, and although He Zhao
quite liked the look of his boyfriend being jealous, he still immediately turned off the mic
and explained. “I don’t know her. This is a girl Shen Jie is teaching. I really don’t know her.”
Xie Yu said, “If you don’t know her, then why did he ask you to help?”
“He went to the toilet and needed someone to hold the fort for a while.”
Xie Yu continued, “He asked you of all people. You do this a lot, do you?”
He Zhao was speechless.
Xie Yu didn’t keep picking at it, either.
Seeing that He Zhao was trying so earnestly to explain himself, Xie Yu continued talking for
a while but didn’t ask He Zhao to leave the team. In fact, he started up his own copy of the
game. “Add me, quick. Class is about to start.”
The girl was still talking, but He Zhao heard none of it.
His mind was full of, Damn, my boyfriend’s usually so cold but when he throws a tantrum
he’s too damn cute.
The girl’s handle was a string of emojis. She was clearly interested in He Zhao, even though
He Zhao hadn’t said much.
[Emoji]: “Gege, are you from Erzhong too?”
[Emoji]: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
After hanging around Xie Yu for so long, He Zhao had learned some of his mannerisms,
although he didn’t use them as harshly as Xie Yu did. Xie Yu would have said, “None of your
business,” so He Zhao said, “I have a boyfriend.”
A long time later, the round ended. He Zhao immediately exited the game, worried that
Emoji would ask him to start another round.
Xie Yu slumped on his side of the desk, looking at He Zhao. “You’re not worried she’ll tell
Shen Jie?”
He Zhao put away his earphones and looked at the timetable. There was one class period
left. “No need for her to tell him. He already knows.”
The classroom was very noisy.
Liu Cunhao and Wan Da were making a ruckus. When they passed Xie Yu and He Zhao, Liu
Cunhao collided with Xie Yu’s desk. The table shook and the sound of it moving reached Xie
Yu’s ears.
Xie Yu blinked. “He knows?”
“He found out on the class trip.” He Zhao flipped through his text messages. “I’m looking for
it and you can see it for yourself.”
Xie Yu took the phone and glanced at it. He saw Shen Jie’s anxious questions and He Zhao’s
reply.
He Zhao’s reply was very confident, and even had a hint of pride.
Xie Yu, my boyfriend.
Xie Yu had never imagined He Zhao would be so forthright.
It wasn’t convenient for them to spread the news of their relationship like other people
who might easily say, ‘I have a partner.’ Unlike other young couples, they couldn’t hold
hands openly around the school as long as they avoided the teachers.
Xie Yu considered it for a while. In He Zhao’s shoes, he might have done the same.

Shen Jie returned from the toilet. On the way back he slipped into Class 3 through the back
door, patted He Zhao’s shoulder and said, “How did it go? Are you done helping her?”
“Help her, my ass.” He Zhao kicked him. “I have a boyfriend and you pushed me into a fire
pit.”
Shen Jie dodged and said, “Yeah, I asked because I know you have a boyfriend… if it were
someone else I might not have trusted them.”
He Zhao tossed a bottle of mineral water at him.
“Okay, okay, I won’t ask you next time.”
Shen Jie picked up the water bottle and put it back on the desk. “I’ll ask Old Xie. I trust him,
too.”
He Zhao said, “…I think you’re tired of living.”
Over the last few days, Shen Jie must have properly processed the news of their
relationship, because he didn’t react oddly at all when he looked at them both.
He was quite calm.
“What would you ask me for?” Xie Yu said. “So you can experience solo play while on a
team?”
Shen Jie: “……” He had nearly forgotten Xie Yu was a lone wolf sort of player.
They chatted for a while longer, then the class bell rang and Shen Jie went back to Class 8.
Before Shen Jie left, he paused after noticing the red bands on both their wrists. He did a
double-take, then said out of nowhere, “It’s good. It’s nothing, and I wasn’t surprised at all.”
Going by his Zhao-ge’s EQ, he was doomed to be forever alone, so the fact that he had found
a boyfriend was already a miracle.
He Zhao smiled and said, “Get lost, now.”
The last class period passed. The people participating in the arts festival stayed for another
half an hour to practice.
The classroom was almost empty and only the students on duty remained behind.
Xu Jing played their selected song on the classroom computer. In the middle of the song
was a section where the performers had to pair up. They split up, two to a group. The dance
moves were rather intimate, and one of the pair had to hold the other’s waist.
Xu Jing and Xu Qingqing demonstrated.
He Zhao stood behind Xie Yu, his hands on Xie Yu’s waist pulling him closer. He didn’t want
to let go. “Are you coming to evening self-study later?”
Xie Yu, still thinking of what He Zhao had done, asked reflexively, “You’re not coming?”
“Not coming to class,” He Zhao said. “I want to be in the dorms coming on something else
instead.”
“……”
Xie Yu had noticed that that He Zhao’s mind was getting dirtier and dirtier lately.
Luo Wenqiang was tall, and his waist being held by an equally tall boy created a very
strange image. Xu Jing considered going up to help guide them, but nearly burst out
laughing.
Luo Wenqiang sighed stiffly. “Jing-jing, you didn’t say there was a section like this.”
Xu Jing replied, “Just relax. Look at Zhao-ge and Yu-ge, and how natural they are…”
Wan Da waved a hand dismissively. He had already noticed. “They’re different.”
After rehearsal, they made a chat group. They titled it Coolest Guy Group in the Universe,
and sent some instructional videos as well as notifications for their next rehearsal time.
Discussion in the chat group was lively all through evening self-study. Their phones kept
vibrating with notifications, like they were performers preparing for a debut.
All of them wanted to look impressive on stage and instantly become famous..
[Luo Wenqiang]: Last year, someone from the class next door played guitar and many girls
wanted to be friends with him afterwards.
[Luo Wenqiang]: I don’t need that many. Just one is fine.
“……”
Xie Yu showered, then walked out drying his hair. His notifications had hit 99+. He swiped
on his screen with a still-damp finger, dismissing them, then noticed a familiar green apple
notification at the bottom of the drag down list.
Question King Tournament.

Chapter 070 - Stubborn Scrap Metal

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The Apple of Knowledge.
The notification read: Dear users, you have not waited in vain! We have returned!
Xie Yu froze.
Returned? Hadn’t the app gone offline?
Xie Yu had forgotten to delete the app and had left it in a corner of his screen, never
imagining that it would one day come back online. He stared at the notification, then
remembered the idiotic thing he had done over summer—fight over first place, day and
night, with a crazy person.
Xie Yu hesitated, then opened the app.
Currently updating. Please do not close the app~
The developers had probably found a new sponsor. They had even updated their question
bank and added new problem sets from the premier high schools. Even some of Erzhong’s
questions appeared.
Xie Yu glanced through them and found that the question-answering format had changed
slightly. Users were now categorized into bronze, silver and gold, and a successfully
answered question might drop bonus rewards, such as hidden questions not shown to the
public.
These minute changes gamified the app, and those not in the know might have mistaken it
for a real online game.
The Question King user chat was still the same, and the same active users from before all
sent firework emojis to celebrate.
[Ilovestudying]: I knew it! The love for studying will never die out!
[ForABetterTomorrow]: Without Question King I had to do practice papers on my own. So
many lonely nights with no one to keep me company.
[TopTenInClass]: @EnglishRep, I mastered Level 8 vocab. Let’s PK.
“……”
“Boss Xie.” Before Xie Yu could look more closely, Zhou Dalei called him. “I was updating
my games and I saw that app from summer vacation. Damn, it’s back?”
Dalei’s phone apps consisted almost completely of games. He ran an update every day.
Probably because there were too many of them and he didn’t keep track, Question King was
still there, too. He had been shocked to receive the update notification.
Xie Yu said vaguely, “Ah.”
Zhou Dalei was wearing slippers and sitting on a plastic chair by the barbecue stall. The
barbecue rack was behind him, thick smoke and the smell of cooking meat carried on the
wind. He took a cigarette from his pocket, put it in his mouth, and lit it. “I got into the lobby.
Now even zero-pointers can get in.”
Xie Yu said, “Huh.”
Zhou Dalei continued, “There are levels, too… You know, right? Bronze and whatever.”
Xie Yu had only briefly glanced at it and could faintly recall that his user level was King-
something. He asked, “What level are you?”
Zhou Dalei said, “Me? Stubborn Scrap Metal.”
“……”
“Awesome, right? I’ve played games for so long and I only know about bronze and such. I
never imagined there would be scrap metal, too. I learned something today.”
Xie Yu laughed, then asked, “You’re at the stall?”
“Yeah.” His mother was bent over, dragging a box of ingredients. Zhou Dalei was in the way,
so she stood up and kicked him nearly off the chair.
Lately, the weather had been steadily getting cooler. Zhou Dalei’s mother expended a lot of
energy preparing food, and when she got busy she also got angry more easily. She usually
thought the world of her son, but now she was irritated by him. “Scram.”
Zhou Dalei was helpless against his mother’s seasonal moods. He got up and started
walking to the side. His mother wiped off her hands and asked, “Who are you talking to?
Xiao-yu?”
“Let me talk to him.” Before Dalei could answer, his mother snatched the phone. “Off with
you.”
Zhou Dalei’s mom talked to Xie Yu very nicely, to the point Zhou Dalei felt that Boss Xie was
more like his mother’s real son.
When He Zhao pushed open the door, Xie Yu was sitting on the bed, eyes lowered, on the
phone.
Xie Yu had just showered and was wearing a sweater. Although it was a cool color, the
material looked soft and made him look soft, too. Even his voice was quiet. “Mm, got it.”
Dalei’s mom had a loud voice, which carried even when she was chatting cordially with
someone. “Last time you came back, I and Lei-zi’s dad both weren’t home and didn’t get to
see you. When are you off school again? Come and stay for a few days…”
Xie Yu was still wearing his school pants, loose-fitting with a gray stripe on one side. He had
folded up the cuffs, revealing his ankles.
Hearing movement at the door, he glanced up, then mouthed to He Zhao: Close the door.
Lei’s mom was currently talking about a mahjong competition that had recently started up
in their neighborhood.
Xie Yu wasn’t a very popular figure on Black Water Street, but Aunt Mei and the others
were still very happy to take him along so that other people would suffer. When they
played cards with new friends and lost badly, they asked Xie Yu over to play a couple
rounds for them and recoup their losses.
He Zhao closed the door, then squeezed into the bed with Xie Yu and waited for his call to
end.
While listening to the call, He Zhao suddenly leaned over and kissed Xie Yu’s face.
Xie Yu said, “…What are you doing?”
Lei’s mom was still talking, and hearing Xie Yu say this, she paused too. “What?”
He Zhao was done teasing and smiled as he backed off to the right. He leaned against Xie
Yu’s headboard and didn’t keep bothering him.
Next to He Zhao was the study desk. While Xie Yu was on the phone, He Zhao looked
around and caught sight of a Rubik’s cube on the desk, along with several books. One of
them was called Improve Your Temper And Face Life Calmly.
He Zhao flipped it open. On the inside was written, Boss Xie, happy birthday.
“This was a birthday present?” After Xie Yu hung up, He Zhao held up the book and asked,
“Who gave you this? They’re creative.”
Xie Yu glanced at it. “The guy from the station.”
Zhou Dalei had gift-wrapped the book and tied it up with a bright red ribbon in a butterfly
knot.
Remembering this, Xie Yu laughed again and added, “I nearly broke his legs.”
He Zhao thought, Broke his legs?
Xie Yu had kept the book till now.
His little friend seemed hard-hearted, but he really wasn’t.
Xie Yu’s smile faded and he tossed his phone aside.
Lei’s mom had said a lot of things just now. Zhou Dalei had tried to snatch the phone back
to no avail. Now that the noise on the other side of the phone had stopped, Xie Yu realized
he actually felt disappointed.
It was the same sort of disappointment Xie Yu had felt the first few days after he and his
mother had moved away from Black Water Street. When he woke up in the morning, he
habitually started off to Wang-ma’s to eat breakfast, then realized he could no longer hear
street hawkers yelling.
The more Xie Yu thought about it, the more frustrated he felt.
Ordinarily, he would just curse out loud and be done with it, but now He Zhao was sitting
next to him.
The idiot was currently reading that Face Life Calmly book, and was even reading
interesting passages aloud for him. “My little friend, you didn’t read this at all, did you? It’s
actually quite useful… Learn from it, and don’t keep being violent to my… no, don’t keep
being violent to me.”
He Zhao had swallowed the words, ‘my family.’
Xie Yu called him, “Zhao-ge.”
He Zhao stopped mid-speech.
Xie Yu wasn’t sure how to explain, either. It seemed too melodramatic to say out loud.
Besides, he wasn’t the complaining sort. The moment the name left his mouth, he regretted
it.
So they looked at each other for a while, then Xie Yu said, “Nothing. Just wanted to call you.”
Xie Yu never called him ‘ge’ for no reason. The first time he had done it was at Liu Cunhao’s
birthday event, and he had followed it up with, ‘You provoked me first.’
He Zhao replied, “Nothing? As if.”
It was all pointless, anyway.
Xie Yu was reminiscing about days he couldn’t go back to. He thought about those noisy,
vulgar sounds that could have come from a marketplace.
Xie Yu had let one of his feet fall off the bed while he was talking. His feet were bare and
touched the floor.
It was cool to the touch.
“Then think about something else.” He Zhao smiled. “For example, where I stand, in your
present and in your future.”
He Zhao said all of this very seriously, the dismissive tone he usually carried now absent.
Xie Yu’s silhouette was reflected in his eyes.
He was so serious about it that Xie Yu leaned in without realizing.
As if possessed, he leaned forward to kiss He Zhao. In that moment, he thought, why be
dramatic? Just do it.
Their lips touched, and his mind went blank.
He Zhao, worried that he would hurt Xie Yu again, tried to hold himself back at first, until
Xie Yu curled his tongue and touched He Zhao’s.
Just the one touch didn’t count.
Xie Yu’s hands had undone He Zhao’s trouser fastening. The school pants were designed
loosely, and he reached in after he undid them.
Xie Yu’s hand was cool to the touch, his fingers lightly curved. When he first touched it, he
felt burned by its warmth. He paused, scared to move.
He Zhao cursed out loud, his hands wandering downward, too. “Are you trying to kill me?”
It was nearly lights-out and the signal sounded outside the dormitory.
By the time they both found release, the dorm building was pitch-black. They only heard
each other’s breathing, hurried and intertwined.
Xie Yu felt around at the head of his bed for a pack of tissues.
He Zhao took it and was going to help Xie Yu clean up, but before he could touch him Xie Yu
nearly kicked him out of bed. “…Don’t touch me.”
He Zhao steadied himself, then asked, “Are we going to sleep together?”
Xie Yu asked, “Can you fall asleep with a stick like that in your pants?”
“……”
Thinking about it, he had a point.
The bed was small. Squeezed together, they were skin to skin.
Xie Yu sat up and reached out to turn on the electric light at the head of his bed.
In the dim light, He Zhao noticed that his little friend’s sweater had ridden up on his
stomach, revealing most of his waist. Then he looked lower and saw the loose school pants
he had undone just now.
He kept looking, then bent down and touch Xie Yu’s lips again. “I’ll go back to my room
then.”
Xie Yu said, “Get lost.”
He was the sort of bedmate who, after doing up his pants, would pretend they were
strangers.
He Zhao smiled and let go of him.
Even though He Zhao had left, the smell didn’t fade for a long time.
The desk light was still lit. Xie Yu noticed that his phone, which he had tossed onto the bed,
was also lit up.
The notifications piled up.
Thinking He Zhao had sent him something again, Xie Yu caught hold of his phone and
unlocked it, only to see more than ten notifications from an app.
“……”
Dear esteemed user, how do you do? We are the organizers of the Question King
Tournament.

Chapter 071 - Whoever doesn’t show up is a dog.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Xie Yu’s hand was still sticky. He read one notification, then put his phone aside to clean his
hand with another two tissues.
The hem of the sweater he had just put on after showering was stained with something. It
looked suggestive, and the smell mixed with the scent of detergent.
As Xie Yu cleaned his hands, he thought again of how He Zhao had been unable to control
himself. When He Zhao had climaxed at the end, he had bitten down on Xie Yu’s shoulder,
teeth sinking bluntly into flesh.
Xie Yu’s hand jerked.
Given how awful this app was, the notifications were probably official announcements such
as, To celebrate the return of the Question King app, we’re releasing thirty limited-edition
problem sets,’ or ‘Prizes for completing questions! Let us soar above the sea of knowledge.
Xie Yu carefully finished cleaning up, then picked up his phone again. A private message
titled ‘Question King Offline Meetup’ caught his eye.
“……”
A reward for loyal players! On the long road of studying, do you feel alone? Do you feel lost?
Have you searched high and low for companions who will study and grow with you?
We have decided to organize an offline meetup! To reward our loyal players, anyone who
registered as part of the Question King family during this past summer vacation can join
this gathering. Let us share our studying experiences face to face and meet even more like-
minded friends who share this heartfelt love of studying.
Xie Yu calmly opened the next unread private message.
It was an invitation specifying the time and location of the meetup, along with the agenda.
10 a.m. that Saturday at Century City.
The agenda was packed. There were group homework sessions, peer tutoring sessions,
sessions to share favorite mock papers or study materials, and other similarly strange
programming. There was even an event where they would watch The Birth of Einstein in a
mini-theater.
At the end of the invitation was neatly written, We hope to see you there.
Go, my ass.
Xie Yu glanced at the next few lines and didn’t have the patience to keep reading.
The remainder of the notification was probably details for the in-person meeting. Instinct
told him that the whole group of madmen in the forums would all be there.
As he expected, the Question King chat was very lively.
When considering meeting online friends in person, normal people probably thought about
what to wear and how to present themselves in order to give their online friends a good
first impression.
But this lot was different.
[ServeTheHomeland]: Has everyone decided which mock paper to bring to the meeting?
[ForABetterTomorrow]: Of course. It has to be the Five Years of Mock Papers and Three
Years of College Exams.¹ This set has extraordinary power. Once you open it, you won’t be
able to stop your hands from doing all the questions at a mad pace.
[StudystudystudythatsallIdo]: Then I’ll bring 38 Heavenly Sets and we can exchange.
[EnglishClassRep]: Me? I like Guide to College Exam English. It covers all the content points
and is a very different study experience. With the guidance of this famous teacher, we
break through all our misunderstandings.
……
Xie Yu sat on the side of his bed and took off his sweater. He was going to take another
shower.
Beneath the weak lighting in the private bathroom, he let the water flow over his shoulders.
There was a very faint pain and only now did Xie Yu realize that that idiot had really broken
skin.
Then He Zhao’s words about the future echoed in his ears again.
A future with you.
Xie Yu shut his eyes and sighed.
Perhaps because the shower he had taken had been cold, he now felt much more awake.
Now that he was no longer sleepy, he thought about going into Question King and doing
some practice questions.
After refreshing the app, he saw that the question archive contained a set of ‘Real Questions
from Top Instructors.’ The app’s developers had likely invited top instructors to write
questions and come up with these unique problem sets.
In the time it had taken Xie Yu to shower, the Question King chat had started in on a
different subject.
[Ilovestudying]: Is the rivalry between God X and Shameless still ongoing?
[FightingUpstream]: Yes, and the devs haven’t announced who the real Question King is
yet.
[StudystudystudythatsallIdo]: Didn’t you see the announcement? The devs sent them both
PMs and said they’d follow up.
At this, Xie Yu’s hand stilled on his mock paper.
In the pile of private messages he had given up reading, there had indeed been a
notification from Question King. Xie Yu scrolled down and saw a notification titled ‘Summer
Tournament.’
Dear esteemed jsdhwdmax, in the Summer Tournament, you scored equal points to User
‘Question King.’ Since the tournament season has ended, we hope that you can settle this
with ‘Question King’ privately.
Xie Yu read it twice to be sure he hadn’t read wrongly.
Settle this privately.
In his friends list, ‘Question King’s profile picture and username were both grayed out, and
his status was offline.
Xie Yu thought that would be the end of it. Maybe the madman had deleted the game. But
the next day, when he was awoken by the broadcast and went online, he found a message
from Question King.
It had been sent after 11pm last night and the first line consisted of only two words:
[Question King]: Forget it.
Mad Dog was still delivering his rah-rah announcement over the intercom. There were no
upcoming tests but that didn’t stop him from anticipating the end-of-term tests. “Don’t
think you still have time! If you keep saying, ‘Tomorrow,’ the endless tomorrows will bury
you. Friends, today! Today! Take action today!”
Xie Yu hoisted himself on one arm into a sitting position. He and Shameless had had the
same thought.
There was nothing to settle. Nothing to fight about.
Then Xie Yu kept reading. There were two more lines
[Question King]: Admit defeat.
[Question King]: I’ll let you off.
The message was only three lines long but it dripped with arrogance.
Xie Yu was so mad he started laughing. He was already in a bad mood from having to get up
early, and he had been sleeping well before that. He was ready to fight anyone who
approached him now and was primed to explode at anything.
When Zhou Dalei came looking for him in the morning, if Xie Yu hadn’t gotten up, he didn’t
even dare enter the house. He shouted for Xie Yu from outside, and turned and ran when he
was done.
So all the Question King users currently online now saw something unprecedented. The
stoic and silent God X had typed something into the chat.
[Jsdhwdmax] to Question King: Idiot.
[Jsdhwdmax] to Question King: Saturday, Century City. Whoever doesn’t show up is a dog.
Xie Yu was annoyedly tapping out the last punctuation mark when He Zhao knocked on the
door.
The distressed cries were still sounding outside the door.
Mad Dog’s rah-rah speech had gone longer than five minutes. Now he had started talking
about his own youth and jumped from topic to topic. “When I was in high school, I got up at
5 a.m. to memorize vocabulary. No matter how cold it was, my bed couldn’t keep me…”
The occupants of the dorm room diagonally down from him were already yelling and
pounding the wall. “Stop! Just let the endless tomorrows bury me already.”
And the soul-deep cries of other students: “Why was I so adamant about living at school?”

Xie Yu wore a thunderous expression when he pushed open the door.

He Zhao leaned against his doorframe, not surprised at all. He very naturally raised a hand
to smooth Xie Yu’s ruffled feathers. “My little friend is always so annoyed when he gets up
in the morning.”
Xie Yu said, “I met an idiot and I want to punch him.”
He Zhao didn’t understand. “What idiot?”
“Nothing, someone online.” Xie Yu turned around, about to go back and wash up, before
saying, “Come in and close the door.”
Xie Yu did not like chatting online.
He Zhao had seen his QQ account. It resembled a side account. Wan Da had tried to add him
several times but never succeeded. Eventually he had plucked up the courage to ask Xie Yu
directly, only to find out that Xie Yu didn’t even look at his friend requests.
Wan Da had nearly broken down down. “Yu-ge, I sent you eight friend requests! You didn’t
see a single one of them?”
Xie Yu said, “I really didn’t pay attention.”
He had more friends on Weixin.
Considering all this, He Zhao concluded that his boyfriend had likely encountered some
exciting news or commentary that morning. “There are all sorts of people online. Some are
going to be idiots.”
Xie Yu washed his face and hung up his towel again.
He Zhao lay down on Xie Yu’s bed out of habit, watching him look through his closet for
clothes.
Xie Yu hadn’t washed his school pants from yesterday, and the other pair was not yet dry.
After looking for a while, Xie Yu had to wear his casual clothes. Then he picked up a
sweater.
By the time Xie Yu was done changing, He Zhao concluded that he was bad at minding his
own business.
Why the hell had he gone looking for Xie Yu for so early in the morning?
Damn it.
Xie Yu put on long pants. His casual pants were not as baggy and shapeless as the school
pants, and they outlined his straight and slim legs. His zipper was still down and he rested a
finger on the zip, letting the pants hang at his waist.
Xie Yu pulled the zip up little by little and asked, “Are you still sleeping?”
“I was going to,” He Zhao said, “…but not any more.”
He Zhao and Xie Yu went to the cafeteria for breakfast. When they walked upstairs to class,
Luo Wenqiang was cleaning the classroom.
Xie Yu went to the back door, then stopped. “What’s gotten into him?”
Luo Wenqiang held a washcloth in his hand, swinging his hips as he cleaned the windowsill.
As the dance moves from yesterday surfaced in his mind, he hummed along, “La la, la la la,
la…”
He Zhao: “….”
“Oh, hello.” Luo Wenqiang saw them and stopped shaking his butt. “Morning.”
People came and went through the corridor.
Xie Yu had the sudden impulse to sever all ties with his classmate Luo Wenqiang.
But He Zhao adjusted quickly. He smiled and said, “Gym rep, good moves. Elegant posture.
If I was a girl, I’d be enraptured…”
Xie Yu said, “Quit acting. Let it go.”
The first class of the day was English.
Xie Yu finished his writing-from-memory assignment, then lay down on his desk to sleep.
But he couldn’t fall asleep, so he fished his phone out from under his desk.
Now that he was awake, he thought that what he had said to Question King in a fit of anger
had been a bit much.
There was no reason to be mad. ‘Question King’ was probably a die-hard diligent student
whose glasses were thicker than a beer bottle. Were they really going to do mock papers
face to face when they met?
Xie Yu opened the app and found that the forum had exploded. Even now, it was still going.
[StudystudystudythatsallIdo]: Damn, they’re going to go face to face?!
[TopTenInClass]: God X is fantastic!
[TsinghuaPekingUIsNotADream]: So strong!
[985211]: God X, remember what you said! Fight to the death! Whoever doesn’t show up is
a dog!
Xie Yu: “……” Fuck.

Chapter 072 - I’ll give you a three-question head start.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
God X sending a challenge in the public chat was really shocking and sent the chat into a
frenzy. The future pillars of society, who held the hopes of their country, were all secretly
sending messages while in class.
After a period of chaos, the chat finally calmed down.
[ConqueringPekingU]: Alright, I can’t any more. Class is starting and I have to listen.
Nothing must keep me from paying attention in class.
[985211]: I’m holding my phone right now. Every word I type makes me feel ashamed to
face my school and my teachers. I’ve betrayed all their hopes for me. Goodbye. Chat after
school.
[Ilovestudying]: This English class… this is the first time I’m looking at my phone in class
since elementary school. I really feel guilty.
Right now, Xie Yu felt that he had dug a pit for himself while he wasn’t quite awake, and
now he had fallen into it and had to stay there.
The English teacher led the class in reading the new vocabulary words aloud. Then she
asked them to pair up and read them again to familiarize themselves with the words, and
turned to write the topic on the board.
While the classroom was filled with the sound of people reading out loud, Xie Yu turned off
his phone and threw it back into his desk with a thud.
It was a muted sound and wasn’t very noticeable.
He Zhao was at an important point in his game. Hearing the thud, he assumed the noise was
keeping Xie Yu from sleeping, so he subconsciously reached out to cover Xie Yu’s ears.
He kept fighting monsters one-handed, using one hand in place of two. He asked, “Too
loud?”
Xie Yu was slumped on his desk. He Zhao’s palm lay next to his ear, He Zhao’s fingers gently
threading through his hair. His voice was slightly muffled and sounded far away.
Xie Yu was about to say, “No, I’m not sleeping,” but before the words left his mouth, they
somehow turned into an, ‘Mm,’ of assent.
The skill board was split into two, and even though He Zhao had quick fingers he couldn’t
play properly with only one hand.
After the class had finished reading vocabulary, the classroom quieted down. He Zhao had
forgotten where his hand was and Xie Yu forgot to remind him about it, too.
He Zhao often did tiny, unnoticeable things like that.
Like sunlight streaming in through the window, he quietly smoothed down all Xie Yu’s
feelings of frustration.
The English teacher finished writing down the topic, then summarized every paragraph.
She split the board into several sections, put down the chalk, dusted off her hands, and said,
“Are you finished reading? Now I’ll call someone up…”
She glanced around the room and her gaze fell on the last row of seats.
She was speechless.
“You all are very touchy-feely, aren’t you. Your love for your classmates can move the
heavens and earth.” After this bout of sarcasm, she tapped the table with the blackboard
eraser, then called Xie Yu and He Zhao by name. “The two of you, get up. Stand up, stand
properly. Read the chapter vocabulary words out loud. No one is to help them.”
Xie Yu slowly stood up, opened his book, and said, “I can’t read them.”
Following the pronunciation guide, he deliberately read them wrong. It sounded terrible.
“All right, you can’t. What were you doing while I was going over them? Now you say you
can’t?” She then looked over at Xie Yu’s deskmate, who was flipping through his book. “He
Zhao, you read it.”
He Zhao asked, “Teach, which page?”
The English teacher: “……”
She didn’t keep putting them on the spot. If she pursued the matter every time, she would
probably faint every class period from sheer anger. She made them remain standing, then
called Xu Qingqing to read it before letting them sit.
Xu Qingqing held up her book and read aloud according to the pronunciation guide, every
word perfect. Clearly, she had prepared at home beforehand.
He Zhao, standing up, was in just the right position to see Luo Wenqiang secretly eating
biscuits in the row in front.
“Old Xie.” He Zhao elbowed Xie Yu. “Look.”
“Look at what?”
Xie Yu was a little tired of standing. He stuck his hands in his pockets, glanced over, and
saw Luo Wenqiang with his hand held carefully in a lotus position. He pulled out a piece,
then waited for the English teacher’s attention to shift before swiftly stuffing it into his
mouth.
Xie Yu watched for a while. “He didn’t eat breakfast?”
He Zhao said, “He said this morning he ate six whole meat buns… but maybe he’s hungry
again?”
Xu Qingqing finished reading. As He Zhao sat down, he also picked up the pen cap on his
desk and threw it at Luo Wenqiang.
Luo Wenqiang had not swallowed the piece of cookie in his mouth and nearly choked. He
looked back to see who had thrown it.
He Zhao smiled as he leaned back in his seat, whispering, “Share?”
So Luo Wenqiang’s biscuit tin was passed down from the first row.
When it passed by Wan Da, he took two pieces. By the time it got to them, there would
probably only be crumbs left. Wan Da wasn’t really hungry; he just had itchy fingers and
also wanted the fun of secretly eating in class.
The box of milk peanut cookies was carefully smuggled across the classroom.
When the box was about to reach them, Liu Cunhao caught sight of it, waved to Wan Da,
and waved. “What is that? I want some too.”
The English teacher was still analyzing the sentence on the blackboard while the box
continued circulating through the classroom.
After the box was passed back across the classroom and finally reached them, it was
already empty.
Xie Yu took the box. “Animals, the lot of you.”
He Zhao looked, too. “Damn, not a single one left?”
Luo Wenqiang, having watched his cookies leave him one by one, couldn’t pay attention to
class any more. “……”
Fuck, those cookies.
“Where shall we rehearse today?” After class let out, the Coolest Guy Group in the Universe
gathered around the last row of seats.
“Gym class later? Let’s just practice in the quad.”
“No, we can’t reveal our skills so soon.”
“……”
Xie Yu didn’t pay close attention to the discussion.
He sat to the side, and when he got bored he tapped on the Apple of Knowledge icon again.
After logging in, he found two messages on his home screen.
[Question King] to [jsdhwdmax]: Sure.
[Question King] to [jsdhwdmax]: Whoever doesn’t come is a dog.
Xie Yu now understood how Zhou Dalei had picked a fight with someone over a violet
weapon.
Dignity.
The Coolest Guy Group in the Universe had planned to practice in the quad, but when they
arrived, there were too many people there. Of course, this was because there were two very
famous personages in their midst.
Just by standing there, Xie Yu and He Zhao were already subjected to the treatment of
performers making their debut appearance.
After starting the music, they couldn’t bear the stares and stealth photography from all the
onlookers and decided to go back to their classroom to practice.
Before they started practicing again, Xu Jing asked, “Is everyone free on the weekend?”
Liu Cunhao said, “Yup, yup.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “I can be.”
Xie Yu said, “No,” then heard He Zhao also say, “I have something going on, really sorry.”
Nearly half the group couldn’t make it, so they had to drop the idea of weekend practice.
Xu Jing turned around to adjust the sound settings, and Xie Yu whispered, “You’re going
home over the weekend?”
He Zhao had not gone home since the start of the school term. It was about time he made a
trip back.
“Nothing important.” He Zhao sat on his desk, looking unworried. “Call me ge and I won’t
go.”
Of course, Xie Yu didn’t.
The week passed in the blink of an eye.
Homework accumulated, Old Tang lectured, and the weekend arrived.
“Students, when you leave for the weekend, stay safe.” The classroom had mostly emptied
and only the unlucky students on classroom cleaning duty were still there. Old Tang was
still improvising his speech. “Finish your homework on time. When studying, reviewing old
material will give you new insight…”
Xie Yu packed up his things and leaned against the rear doorframe, waiting for one of the
students on duty.
He Zhao was still cleaning the blackboard. He could reach the top of the board if he
stretched his hand up.
Xie Yu, watching him, was mesmerized.
Xie Yu had logged into Question King several times over the last few days, discussing with
Shameless how they would compete on Saturday. Although they had agreed to meet face to
face and have it out, there needed to be rules to this confrontation.
After discussing it, the only viable option was doing a mock paper and grading it on the
spot.
Shameless had no objection. Any mock paper, any subject.
Then he added, I’ll give you a three-question headstart.
He was really asking for a beating. In Xie Yu’s entire life, the only other person he had ever
heard such provocative words from was the idiot currently cleaning the blackboard.
On some level, his boyfriend actually had a few things in common with that good student
whose glasses were probably thicker than the base of a beer bottle.
[Ilovestudying]: Is everyone on their way? Is God X on his way?
[StudystudystudythatsallIdo]: On the way. I and my 38 Ultimate Strategies are on the way
to Century City.
[TopTenInClass]: On the bus. I stayed up all last night and wrote a 5000-word study
reflection essay discussing my study strategies. Hopefully you’ll find it helpful.
[FightingUpstream]: I’m on my way too. Very excited! I want to do some questions on the
bus! And I can’t wait for God X and Shameless’s showdown!
……
Early the next morning, the Question King chat was refreshing madly with messages from
this lot.
Xie Yu was still looking through the suggested route on his phone maps app.
Century City was very popular and people would often hold events such as class gatherings
there.
It had all sorts of facilities and amenities, the most famous of which was a private hall with
AV equipment. This was probably the first time the AV equipment would be used to screen
The Birth of Einstein.
Xie Yu didn’t want to bother changing buses, so he took a direct bus.
He had brought a mask with him when he left, to cover his face. He sat in the rearmost seat
and glanced down at a private message Question King had sent him.
[Question King]: I’ll get to the point, my friend. You can still back out now.
[Question King]: Even if I give you a three-question head start, you won’t win.
[jsdhwdmax]: Heh.
After another half hour, Question King sent another message.
[Question King]: I’m here. Century City entrance.
Xie Yu was sleepy, and typed with his eyes half closed. He thought, What’s the point of
telling me you’re there? Who the hell knows who you are in this crowd. So he asked, What
are you wearing? Any identifiers?
[Question King]: Forget what I’m wearing. I’m the most good-looking one.

Chapter 073 - King vs. King

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Century City was not far ahead. At the very top of a tall building, a logo of two spread
golden wings shone in the sunlight.
The bus turned onto the street.
The downtown district was crowded and pedestrians filled the streets. The bus slowed to a
crawl. After several minutes had passed, the traffic lights had changed twice but the pair of
golden wings was still on the other end of the street.
Xie Yu glanced at the message again and laughed out loud.
Shameless was not just shameless. He had a face. A very big face. He had a face so thick
even bullets couldn’t pierce it.
“……” The gaps between cars were very narrow. Xie Yu shifted uncomfortably in his seat,
his foot catching on a protrusion on the seat in front, and cursed out loud. “Idiot.”
The bus moved too slowly.
Cars honked outside the window, making a lot of noise.
Xie Yu lifted a hand, finger catching on the side of his mask. He pulled his mask down some
and took a breath.
After another several minutes, the bus finally started moving again at its original pace. The
golden wings drew closer and closer, and an announcement rang through the bus. “Next
stop, final destination, Century City. All passengers, please exit through the rear doors.”
There were still about a dozen people on the bus.
Several of them had already stood up and started walking towards the rear door when they
heard the announcement. The bus had not stopped, but they held onto the railings and
waited by the door.
Xie Yu didn’t move, but he put up the hood of his jacket. The jacket was black, loose-fitting,
and the loose hood covered most of his forehead.
Together with the mask, nearly his whole face was hidden.
Xie Yu tapped out a message to Question King: Nearly there.
Shameless finally described in detail what to look for.
Xie Yu elected to ignore the decorative descriptions. Nonsense like, Although the sweater is
a standard one, on me, it’s not standard at all. An extraordinary aura…
Xie Yu had the sudden impulse to walk across the street and get on the bus going in the
opposite direction.
He endured it for a while, but ultimately caved.
He looked down and typed out a sentence.
[jsdhwdmax]: ****** [Sensitive phrases have been automatically censored.]
[Question King]: ?
[Question King]: You were swearing at me?
……
If Xie Yu carried on this conversation, it wouldn’t stop at just cursing.
Century City was very big. It was a shopping mall and amusement park in one, and there
was even a small theme park at the city center. A carousel turned slowly.
Several little girls sat on the carousel, their parents squatting to one side taking pictures.
Xie Yu passed through the theme park, asking Question King generally where he was while
he walked further in.
The idiot had said he was at the entrance, but Xie Yu discovered after he got off the bus that
Century City had four entrances. Which one??
Xie Yu had covered up well.
He wore both a hood and a mask, so his face was not visible, but he was tall and he carried
himself well, so by covering up like this he drew even more attention.
[Question King]: Entrance 3. What are you wearing?
[jsdhwdmax]: Mask, hood. Black.
[Question King]: All right. Hurry up.
[jsdhwdmax]: Are you holding an exam paper?
[Question King]: Yes. Best of the College Exams. Pick whichever you want to do.
Entrance 3 was on the other side of the open-air play area.
Xie Yu pulled out a folded mock paper. As discussed beforehand with Shameless, they both
brought a mock exam with them. They would exchange papers and complete them within
half an hour.
Mock paper in hand, Xie Yu subconsciously looked through the crowd for an idiot wearing a
sweater ‘extraordinarily well,’ and who was holding a copy of Best of the College Exams.
There were many people at the entrance coming and going, but not many of them were
standing still.
Xie Yu glanced around a few times. After eliminating the ones standing around the door, his
gaze swept over the elderly janitor bending over and cleaning the floor before landing on
the railing on the opposite side.
Someone was sitting arrogantly on the railing, which was no wider than a palm.
He wore a thick sweater, both legs swinging in the air, a booklet in hand. Red cover, bright
gold words: Best of the College Exams.
From Xie Yu’s perspective, he could only see the person’s back.
He seemed quite tall.
Xie Yu looked again. He seemed very damn familiar.
His bearing, his body shape… were all very like a certain person.
Xie Yu thought again. It was impossible. His boyfriend—last name He first name Zhao—had
still been lazing in bed an hour ago. When Xie Yu had called him, he had said he was going
to go back to sleep again.
Then he had said in a low voice, “See you in my dreams.”
[jsdhwdmax]: On the railing?
Xie Yu sent the message and the figure immediately looked down at his phone.
After this confirmation, Xie Yu walked over, clutching his own mock paper. A few paces
away, he raised the booklet and tapped the person’s shoulder with it.
Then, without any warning, Xie Yu caught sight of his boyfriend’s face.
The boyfriend who had said, “See you in my dreams.”
He Zhao’s fingers were still on his phone screen, the message, ‘Yes that’s me,’ not yet sent.
The Question King PM interface was very recognizable—formulas were rolling across the
announcement marquee.
He Zhao turned and was stunned speechless.
Even though he had covered his face, He Zhao could instantly recognize his little friend in a
crowd. Xie Yu radiated aloofness; he was a central air-conditioner, a walking pack of
gunpowder.
He Zhao’s grip on his phone slipped and he nearly fell off the railing.
The word ‘fuck,’ ordinarily harsh, intense and full of complicated meaning, now seemed too
placid for this long and intense eye contact.
Xie Yu’s hand was still frozen.
He didn’t like the cold, so he often kept his sleeves pulled over his hands, revealing only the
lower half of his fingers. The mock exam, rolled up into a long thin booklet, was currently
also facing He Zhao: on it was clearly written Difficult High School Math: Booklet A.
Xie Yu’s mind had gone completely blank.
He steadied himself. Some memories of He Zhao’s actions now emerged one after another.
The figure in front of him was Zero-Point Essay Contender He Zhaovsky, his magnum opus
was My Silhouette is Damn Suave, he had once broken Liyang Erzhong’s record for lowest
exam score with a 10-point math paper, and was always last in the year…
All this information arranged itself in Xie Yu’s mind where explosions were going off.
He Zhao was stunned, too. As he jumped down from the railing, he felt as if he was floating
and he almost didn’t land properly.
Then he coughed and picked a very awkward conversation starter. “My friend… you look
familiar.”
Xie Yu said, “Do I.”
He Zhao said, “You look very like my boyfriend.”
Before He Zhao was done, Xie Yu had already started calmly folding up his sleeves.
Really… very annoying.
A pile of question marks choked him.
The image of the idiot star student with glasses as thick as the bottom of a beer bottle now
transformed into that of his own boyfriend.
His boyfriend, whom he had worried day in and day out would end up an excavator
operator after the college exams. His boyfriend, whose grades even a thirty-day miracle
brain medicine course would not be able to drag back up to a passing level.
“Pick a place,” Xie Yu said, after folding up his sleeves. “If here isn’t too embarrassing for
you, here’s fine, too.”
He Zhao: “……”
He Zhao was that close to being murdered.
If he hadn’t happened to overhear someone asking, “Hello, may I ask where the entrance to
the Question King Offline Meetup is?” he might really have died.
Xue Xisheng had tidied himself up and even put on a layer of greasy hair cream. He looked
very energetic. Black spectacle frames and a checkered button-down shirt.
He also carried many books. Xie Yu glanced over and saw Beautiful Chemistry and Happy
Physics.
Xie Yu: “……”
He Zhao: “……”
After a pause, He Zhao said stiffly, “Run?”
“Run,” Xie Yu replied. “Or were you planning to go up and say hi?”
The elderly janitor Xue Xisheng had stopped clearly wasn’t aware this activity was taking
place. “Ah? What Quest King?”
Xue Xisheng said, “Question King Tournament. A studying game. Today is our networking
event.”
The janitor shook his head, bent down, and kept sweeping. He said, “I don’t know… I’m old
and I don’t understand what you young people are playing these days. Never heard of it.”
Xue Xisheng said, “Sorry, I’ll let you get back to work.” Then he looked up and glimpsed two
silhouettes, but they had already vanished through a door to the side before he could take a
closer look.
Although neither Xie Yu nor He Zhao understood what was going on, they both were in
agreement that the study rep had to be avoided. So they found a chance and escaped
through the side door.
There were more people inside Century City than outside and there was a crowd waiting
for the elevator. They probably wouldn’t be able to get in until the third or fourth time it
arrived.
So He Zhao made a split-second decision, pushed open the emergency door, and went for
the stairs.
They ran up the stairs, clutching onto the railings. They ran fast, and who knew how many
floors they climbed. Just turning the corners made their heads spin.
While dizzy, Xie Yu suddenly remembered that Baidu Q&A. What to do when boyfriend
doesn’t study. My boyfriend is an angel but he’s second-to-last place in school.
The ‘Handsome He’ who lost all his hit points in that math class.
On the bus, He Zhao had said when he passed the tchotchke store, “I’ve come here before.”
……
And even further back, the messy circle drawn on the paper crane.
It had been a 0.
Xie Yu stopped running, panting lightly. He tore off his mask, leaving it hanging from one
side of his face, then leaned against the wall and said, “All right… stop running.”
The emergency stairwell was silent, both upstairs and downstairs. Everyone else was
waiting for the elevator, and even those taking the stairs wouldn’t come up this far.
He Zhao plopped down on the landing and thought about this whole matter between the
two of them. He flat-out couldn’t remember the string of keysmash Xie Yu used for a
handle, so he asked, “You’re that something-something-X?”
Xie Yu retorted, “You’re Shameless?”
He Zhao scratched his head. He thought he was good at rolling with things, but he was
completely helpless right now. He changed the subject again. “Who’s the study rep?”
Xie Yu had temporarily lost his ability to think and said, “I don’t know. Could be anyone.”
On second thought, it made complete sense that Xue Xisheng used Question King. In all of
Erzhong, no one was as hardworking or as focused on studying as him.
In his free time, he was either memorizing vocabulary or doing problem sets.
The two fell silent again.
Then Xie Yu clamped down on all his feelings and handed his mock paper over. “Did you
bring a pen?”
He Zhao was thinking the same thing. If they didn’t do these mock papers on the spot,
neither of them would believe this unbelievable coincidence.
This was too goddamn…
Too damned.
He Zhao took the paper and tossed Best of the College Exams over. “Yup, I brought one.
You… pick a set.”
When Xie Yu left school, he had not imagined that one hour later he would be sitting in an
emergency stairwell with He Zhao doing mock papers. Or that He Zhao, perpetually last
place in the year, would tell him, “This mock paper is too easy…”
“Your mock paper is idiotic.” A vein throbbed at Xie Yu’s temple.

Chapter 074 - King vs. King, cont’d

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
He Zhao took the mock exam. Out of habit, he glanced over the paper from start to finish
and got a general sense of the difficulty before he started writing. He began drafting a
solution in the blank space.
His mind was in disarray and his handwriting was unsteady too.
He sat on the first step of the flight of ascending stairs while Xie Yu sat in the corner of the
bend in the stairwell. They sat face to face, one higher and one lower.
While drafting his answers, He Zhao remembered what he had said to Xie Yu under the
alias ‘Question King.’
None of it was very polite.
He Zhao was very distracted. His pen moved over the thin paper, writing down the square
root of 2, then stopped. Ink gradually spread out from where the nib met paper, and as He
Zhao stared at the spreading black ink blob, he thought about the most dastardly thing he
had said. He said it aloud now: “…I’ll give you a three-question head start.”
Xie Yu still hadn’t removed his hood. He had also lowered his head, so from He Zhao’s
position he could only see Xie Yu’s nose and chin. His mouth was set in a thin line and he
didn’t seem to be in a good mood.
How could his mood possibly be good?
Xie Yu squeezed the pen in his hand. It actually seemed more likely that he would meet this
idiot in a dream. Perhaps this really was a dream.
Xie Yu slowly exhaled on his question paper. “All right, give me the headstart. Then I’ll give
you a ten-question headstart.”
He Zhao: “……”
The two last-places-in-the-year, who slept in class or played phone games, who dragged
Class 3’s average grades so far down that every subject teacher was a step away from
jumping off a cliff, who never even knew which page of the textbook they were going
through in class—were now sitting in the stairwell trashtalking each other.
In school, their most frequent conversation was, “Which question is the teacher going
over?”
“Don’t know.”
“Do you know how to do this question?”
“Nope.”
“Phew, you don’t know, either. Did you finish copying the homework?”
Now, after the trash talk, even Xie Yu felt shocked.
He had looked through the Best of the College Exams He Zhao had brought, and all the
mock papers looked about equally difficult, so he tore a set out at random. He glanced at
the time, then tossed his phone to the floor.
Half an hour. They stopped writing around 11 a.m.
Since Xie Yu had still not seen He Zhao’s answers, he remained suspicious. Even though an
inexplicable notion was currently bubbling up in his mind.
He Zhao did two questions, emotions still in disarray.
He held his pen, knuckles jutting out. He stared at his terrible, shaky handwriting. Then,
still dazed, he switched his pen to his left hand.
When Xie Yu finished writing, it was not yet 11 a.m. He glanced up and saw the idiot on the
steps had also just stopped writing. He Zhao put his paper on his knee and looked at Xie Yu.
They stared at each other quietly for a while.
Xie Yu went to sit on the step too, taking the mock paper with him. He reached out for the
paper on He Zhao’s knee, but He Zhao held it in place with one hand, then caught hold of
Xie Yu’s hand with the other. He said quietly, “Can you… let me off this once?”
“Weren’t you so sure of yourself?” Xie Yu said, pulling the paper out little by little from
underneath He Zhao’s hand. He got it halfway out, then couldn’t pull it any further. He said,
“Let go.”
Xie Yu was still internally thinking this was impossible, but upon seeing the paper… he was
speechless.
The first few lines were written in ugly handwriting, but the rest of it… the handwriting
was still messy, but in a sharp, imposing manner. Firm, and beautiful in an unrestrained
way. They could have been written by a completely different person than had written the
first few lines.
Xie Yu wasn’t sure what to say. He flipped the page and looked again to make sure his eyes
were not deceiving him.
“I’m left-handed.” He Zhao explained a little nervously. “Although I write fine with my right
hand, too. The style’s just a little different. I’m much more bold and carefree when I write
with my left…”
Since a young age, He Zhao had found it easier to use his left hand, but his parents had
made him train his right hand, thinking it would be easier to correct him while he was
young. Time went on, and his lefty tendencies remained unobtrusive.
“Correction. You’re much more dogshit.”
Xie Yu thought, since he dares call himself Question King, it’s not that surprising that his
handwriting is nicer, too. Professionalism. He’s living up to his handle completely. But Xie
Yu was still annoyed for some reason he didn’t understand. He continued, “I don’t think you
understand what ‘bold and carefree’ means.”
Half an hour was not much time to answer questions. He Zhao had condensed his answers
and completed three steps in one. He only used half the available space to answer the
question—he had calculated the answer in his working area, then put a circle around it and
called it a solution.
Xie Yu started examining the paper, starting with the first question, all the way through to
the end. Aside from the final question, on which He Zhao had dropped a decimal point,
there were no mistakes.
He Zhao was looking at Xie Yu’s paper, too.
He glanced it over and saw that his boyfriend had really left the first ten questions blank.
He had really given He Zhao a 10-question head start. How arrogant.
But He Zhao kept reading. Every solution was elegant, simple, and to the point.
He Zhao had seen ‘God X’ doing problem sets. His logical thought process couldn’t be faked.
His approach to answering, his habit of underlining the key points in a question… were all
identical to what was on this mock paper in front of him.
He Zhao finished checking the answers. He still wasn’t sure if he could believe it, but the
facts were right there in front of him.
—Only now did Xie Yu notice something uncontrollably bubbling forth in his mind. He
couldn’t name it. Aside from shock, the most he could say about it was—although he
thought the person in front of him was an idiot, it turned out he himself was an even bigger
idiot.
He Zhao opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Xie Yu folded up his sleeves
and said, “I’m not sure what to say about this, but let’s go a few rounds.”
He Zhao said, “Let’s not. Violence doesn’t solve anything. Let’s sit down and calmly…”
Xie Yu was already in motion before the words ‘talk it out’ left He Zhao’s mouth.
He Zhao pushed himself off the stairs with one hand and backed away to the side, but
before he could find his footing a punch came flying his way.
A merciless punch, trailing wind.
The stairwell was cramped and neither of them could move freely. Although neither of
them were fighting their best, they weren’t playing around, either. Especially Xie Yu, the
little hooligan of Black Water Street who never bothered with bullshit talk when he could
fight instead, and who had grown up pinning everyone with a problem he couldn’t solve to
the ground.
While taking the beating, He Zhao thought, My boyfriend is really damn cute when he skips
the talk and goes straight for the fight.
Xie Yu started off brutally attacking, then slowly let up. He Zhao, obliging, pulled Xie Yu into
his arms. He trapped his disobedient little friend, then kissed him.
Xie Yu was self-righteous and very haughty, but his lips were very soft.
Xie Yu’s back was to the wall, the loose hood of his jacket covering his forehead and
blocking his vision. The strongest sensation he felt was the hand at his waist and how He
Zhao was plundering his lips and teeth, willful, harsh, and invasive.
The stairwell was very narrow.
Several floors below, people were coming and going, and the sound of their footsteps
echoed up from below through the winding corridor.
“I don’t know what to say either.”
He Zhao hadn’t completely let go of him, and now his lips moved slightly, brushing against
Xie Yu’s own. When he spoke, he lifted his hand to pull down the hood on Xie Yu’s head.
“Come on. Let me kiss you for another twenty minutes then.”
“Get lost.”
After this tussle, the feelings he had not been able to contain since meeting He Zhao at the
Century City entrance, and again when he saw He Zhao’s near-perfect-score mock paper,
now finally subsided.
They sat side by side on the steps, gathering their own thoughts.
Xie Yu rubbed at the corner of his mouth with one finger; he hurt from being kissed. After
steadying himself, he asked, “Do you have a cigarette?”
“Little kids shouldn’t smoke.” He Zhao pulled out a lollipop from his pocket that was
wrapped in distracting pink packaging. He held on to the stick and asked, “…Compromise?”
Xie Yu took it and unwrapped the paper.
“What on earth are you doing?” Halfway through unwrapping, Xie Yu thought again about
the study guide he had spent so much time putting together. “Do you know how much I
goddamn… to put together that…”
He Zhao cut him off. “Second-to-last place in the year. What on earth are you doing?”
After mentioning the two study guide emails, Xie Yu stopped himself. Then he thought
about the Complete Guide to the College Exams that had mysteriously appeared on his
desk. Something didn’t seem right. He was onto something.
“You bought the books?”
He Zhao, mulling over the words ‘put together,’ also remembered something. “You sent the
email?”
“……”
Xie Yu said nothing and crumpled the candy wrapper in his palm.
Fuck. What the hell is all of this?
After going in a big circle, it turned out they both had worried over nothing.
He Zhao leaned back on his hands, the corner of the step digging into his hand, and he
suddenly wanted to laugh. “I thought… it’s because Wan Da and the others made it sound
like it was really true.”
Xie Yu said, “True, my ass. They went so far off track and you still believed them?”
The footsteps several floors below, which had gone on for a while, now finally stopped.
The stairwell felt a little empty.
He Zhao hid his smile. He looked downward from where he sat on the stairs and was silent
for a while before saying, “Do you remember, the last time when we went to Dian Ji to eat
and we ran into someone called Ji-ge?”
Xie Yu, chewing the sweet, mumbled ‘Mm’ with his mouth full.
He Zhao had thought that matter would stay locked up in his heart and there would never
come a day where he volunteered that story.
He had locked it up so tightly it lost its shape.
It stuck in his chest. Couldn’t go up and couldn’t go down.
It had already been a few years and many of the details had faded from He Zhao’s memory
with time. But every time he thought he had forgotten it, on some night of some day, he
would wake up in a cold sweat.
He finished telling the story all at once and didn’t dare look at Xie Yu’s face.
Would his little friend look down on him for it? Would he be disappointed in him? Would
he…
He Zhao kept thinking and didn’t notice that he was pushing down harder and harder
against the step, the hard edge leaving a deep impression in his hand.
Xie Yu didn’t say, ‘It’s nothing, and you’re not to blame,’ but he also didn’t say, ‘You were
wrong.’ He didn’t blame, but he didn’t comfort, either.
He Zhao was getting more and more uncertain, but then Xie Yu took hold of the narrow
plastic stick and pulled the lollipop from his mouth. Then he put it to He Zhao’s lips.
“Ge, want some?”

Chapter 075 - The type I like.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
He Zhao had been staring down at the steps beneath him. His mind had been running wild,
but when he heard this he glanced sharply up.
Xie Yu had not reacted strongly.
Before He Zhao could respond, Xie Yu forcibly shoved the sweet into his mouth.
He Zhao froze.
Then the fruity taste reached him.
It was sweet.
His little friend had licked it.
And his little friend had called him ‘ge.’
All other thoughts in He Zhao’s mind suddenly screeched to a stop and only one thing
remained: …he’s playing dirty.
Xie Yu had never imagined that ‘Question King’ had nearly given up on himself for such a
reason. Even after repeating a year, He Zhao hadn’t been able to put down his worries and
had landed himself at a bottom-of-the-barrel high school and kept scoring last in the year at
that.
A top student, who in the eyes of everyone had a bright and limitless future, had now fallen
below the passing grade.
He had fallen very far.
Even though Xie Yu had known He Zhao for a long time, the only time he had really seen He
Zhao get angry was during the incident with Xu Xia and Goody-two-shoes Yang.
“That’s why you beat people up in your first year, too?” Xie Yu leaned back on his hands and
asked.
Xie Yu didn’t pay attention to gossip and had no idea who the Big Bro in the next building
was. But He Zhao’s exploits had spread through the entire school and it was difficult to
avoid it completely.
Xie Yu had become the Big Bro of the West Building due to ‘cheating on the high school
exams’ on top of fighting.
He Zhao, on the other hand, hadn’t.
Unlike Xie Yu, when He Zhao entered high school, he had maintained a low profile for a
while. He had attended class for two months without incident. Then, after the mid-term
tests, an event had made his name spread like wildfire.
He hit a teacher.
Like Xie Yu, he had made his name by fighting, but what He Zhao had done was much more
serious than Xie Yu knocking four people unconscious outside of school.
“About that…”
“Someone in our class had bought exam answers, and he thought I gave that person the
idea.” He Zhao bit into the sweet. Unwilling to even mention the teacher’s name, he had said
‘he’ instead. Then He Zhao continued, “He seems to have thought highly of me. Buying
answers, my ass… if I really had, would I really have scored ten points?”
Now that He Zhao thought about it, he had been too hot-tempered at that time. He could
have just laughed it off. He hadn’t really needed to kick the table and then argue back. The
argument had grown more and more heated until He Zhao couldn’t hold himself back any
longer and threw a punch.
He had hit quite hard and nearly landed the teacher in the hospital.
That day, He Zhao didn’t leave school after class was dismissed. He sat in a bathroom stall
and smoked half a pack of cigarettes. While the smell of smoke circulated around him, he
kept asking himself, What the hell am I doing?
He Zhao now stopped. Noticing that the ‘second-to-last-in-the-year’ sitting next to him had
not yet said a word, he changed the topic. “What about you?”
“I…” Xie Yu said calmly. “I’m too outstanding. I want to give other people a chance, too.”
“……” He Zhao choked. He lifted a hand and tousled Xie Yu’s hair. “Be more serious, will
you?”
Xie Yu’s reasons… were domestic.
He Zhao already knew of Xie Yu’s ‘intellectually impaired’ older brother. He Zhao had also
seen his little friend pace back and forth in the dormitory corridor, impressively cursing up
a storm without repeating a single insult.
Xie Yu, seeing He Zhao about to say something, cut him off again. “It’s all right. I know what
I’m going to do.”
Zhong Guofei had told Xie Yu that his son was competitive. Xie Yu had not taken it to heart
and nearly told Zhong Guofei on the spot, It’s none of my damn business if your son’s
competitive. Not like he’s my son.
But Xie Yu also had to worry about Madam Gu.
While Xie Yu was still unable to leave this home environment, he had to protect her as
much as he could, by any means necessary.
Although He Zhao thought his little friend sounded cool with things, he was still a little
worried. “So what are your plans? What university are you aiming for?”
Xie Yu replied, “Doesn’t have to be too great. Tsinghua or Peking U is fine.”
“……”
He Zhao was speechless.
Remembering the question he had posted on Baidu Knows, He Zhao now thought he had
been completely absurd.
They sat in the stairwell a while longer. Xie Yu glanced at the time; it was nearly time for
lunch. He stood up and kicked He Zhao’s leg, then walked up the stairs. “Are you hungry?
Want to go for lunch?”
He Zhao crunched up the sweet in his mouth and looked at him. “It’s a date.”
Since confirming their relationship, they had both been in school most of the time and they
were both occupied on weekends.
On the occasions they left school for fun, it was mostly for group activities and they couldn’t
ignore an entire 30-odd group of third wheels. Aside from the time He Zhao had gone off to
Black Water Street to find him, which could perhaps be considered a date if one really tried,
they really hadn’t had much time together.
Xie Yu pulled open the heavy door of the emergency exit. Hearing the words ‘It’s a date,’ he
paused.
They were on the seventh floor. If he had gone up two more flights, they would have
reached the top floor.
They left the emergency stairwell. This floor of the shopping mall consisted of furniture
stores. There weren’t many people this high up. So they looked for an elevator to go down
again. He Zhao hung off Xie Yu’s shoulder as they walked and he asked, “What do couples
do when they go on dates?”
“You don’t know?”
“This is my first relationship. I’m not used to things yet.”
“Ask Baidu, then. Don’t you like doing that?”
He Zhao fell silent. “…That’s enough. You’ll never let me forget it, will you?”
Having been mercilessly shot down by Xie Yu, He Zhao did pick up his phone and look on
Baidu.
The previous elevator had just left and was still on the ground floor. They would have to
wait a while longer before it arrived again.
Xie Yu held his mock paper in one hand. Bored of waiting, he leaned over to look at He
Zhao’s phone screen, and saw a very embarrassing heading: Dating Walkthrough. How to
firmly catch hold of his/her heart.
“Have a meal, watch a movie…” He Zhao read aloud as he scrolled. After reading a few lines,
he stopped and said, “…About watching a movie, I’ll see anything with you as long as it’s not
a horror film.”
Aside from these general tips, the site also had restaurant recommendations and tips for
what to look out for while having a meal. Through the little details, embody the chivalry
and romance of a gentleman, and entrance your partner with your presence.
Xie Yu glanced downward and caught sight of a subject title at the very end of the article,
annotated in red text: Final Stage.
He Zhao finished reading the content, then kept scrolling downward. His finger stopped on
the final paragraph and he also saw the text in red. He read the title aloud, then got stuck.
“Get a…”
Get a room.
“……”
The lights on the elevator indicated it was about to reach their floor.
He Zhao swallowed and turned his phone off.
Xie Yu said nothing, but although he looked calm on the surface, He Zhao noticed that the
tips of Xie Yu’s ears had gone red.
With a chime, the elevator doors opened.
Xie Yu felt that something was wrong with him, although he couldn’t pinpoint what.
Thoughts were rising in his mind, unstoppable despite his efforts.
He Zhao coughed and changed the subject. “Shall we go eat?”
While they were looking for a restaurant, they also carefully looked around for Xue
Xisheng.
After lunch, they walked to the entertainment area and found it was so crowded that they’d
get lost in the crowd if they let go of each other’s hands.
Fate really would be at work If they ran into Xue Xisheng again here.
“He’s probably attending the session on sharing your thoughts about studying.” Xie Yu
recalled the timestamped agenda on the invitation. “He’s also doing a presentation on
Happy Physics.”
“……” He Zhao hadn’t looked closely at the agenda before and was genuinely impressed. “Is
he human?”
“I don’t know. We’re different.”
The entertainment area consisted of an arcade and a theater.
The theater was crowded and the line for tickets was long.
Xie Yu looked first for movies that were starting soon, then checked whether they were
horror films. He ignored the others. Eventually, he picked a braincell-killing sci-fi film that
started in ten minutes.
He Zhao had discovered the last time they had gone shopping that Xie Yu didn’t dither at
all. If he saw something he wanted, he went for it. He was very focused on his objective.
“That one?”
Xie Yu had no real preference for which film to see. “If you want to see another one, that’s
fine too.”
“This one’s fine,” He Zhao said. “They’re all about the same.” And he probably wouldn’t be
paying attention to the movie anyway.
They were buying tickets fairly late and most of the good seats were already gone, leaving
only the last few rows free.
From the back of the theater, the audience seating was a sea of the backs of people’s heads.
Xie Yu sat down, then held out his hand to He Zhao, palm up. The red bracelet still hung on
his wrist, eye-catching. “Hold my hand, ge?”
He Zhao noticed that when Xie Yu was in a good mood, he liked to give He Zhao a hard time.
The theater was very noisy.
Only when the lights dimmed in the theater and the movie started playing did everyone
settle down.
The plot was familiar and cliche, the sort where the trailer was a hundred times more
exciting than the actual movie. Only the acting of the two leads and the special effects
carried the film. The movie-goers watched in silence for a while, but less than half an hour
in, they all noticed that the movie was boring and started chatting.
The movie had very loud audio effects. The sound rose, then slowly faded.
The light from the screen illuminated the theater.
In this faint light, Xie Yu stared at He Zhao for a while. He moved his fingers, still
intertwined with He Zhao’s, and called, “Zhao-ge.”
He Zhao turned to look at him.
Xie Yu was curled up in his seat. Dressed in all black, he blended in with his surroundings,
but his eyes were still bright and fixed on He Zhao. “You asked me… what you were like.”
On the big screen, scene after scene went by.
He Zhao was distracted by the movie’s sound effects and had to think about it for a while
before remembering what Xie Yu’s sudden mention of ‘last time’ referred to.
“Now that I’m not just anyone else to you.” Xie Yu finished, paused, then kept going. “I’ll
answer that question again. I’ll say it once and if you don’t hear it, then forget about it.”
He Zhao stopped breathing.
Then he heard Xie Yu say, “You’re the type I like.”

Chapter 076 - You’re so unprofessional.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Xie Yu had never said anything so mushy in his life. His tone was still cold and he leaned
against the back of his chair, watching He Zhao without another sound. In his other hand
was the iced Coke he had bought at the door, still radiating a chill.
You are He Zhao.
Just the way you are. Nothing else matters.
“……” He Zhao’s hand gradually tightened on Xie Yu’s. He Zhao was wondering if he had
heard wrong, and coaxed, “Say it again?”
Xie Yu said, “I advise you not to push it.”
He Zhao had worn casual clothes today and hadn’t even put on his audacious ear studs.
Even so, he drew attention.
The lighting in the theater was bad and it was very dark in the last row. Some people
turned around to look at them, and there had been continued whispers ever since they
entered the theater.
On the bus back, Xie Yu couldn’t recall what the movie had been about. He Zhao had leaned
toward him during the movie despite the armrest between them and stolen away all his
breath in the faint flickering light of the screen.
His movements had been hurried and frantic, like he was colliding with him.
He was not fazed at all kissing him in public, completely heedless of whether people would
see.
The sounds of the movie grew further and further away.
The sounds of the movie and the chattering in the theater aside, only He Zhao’s carefully
restrained, murmured words remained. “…kill me.”
Near the end of the movie, the male and female lead had overcome all their obstacles and
embraced.
Xie Yu leaned back in his seat, putting some distance between him and He Zhao, and asked
hoarsely, “Are you going back to school later?”
He Zhao glanced down at his pants and made sure his sweater covered it, making it not too
obvious, then said, “I’m going home. The school locks its doors at 4:30pm and I won’t make
it.”
Erzhong was strict about curfew, especially on the weekends. To prevent students from
staying out too long and getting into trouble, the school gates closed punctually at 4:30 p.m.
Xie Yu didn’t know what He Zhao was looking at and followed his gaze. His eyes landed on
the same thing and he paused for a second.
“You’re hard?”
“Wouldn’t be a man if I wasn’t.” He Zhao pulled the hem of his jacket down again and said,
“Don’t look at me. Let me rest for a bit.”
Buses arrived frequently at Century City, one every ten minutes or so. Not long after they
got on the bus—it had not even left the street Century City was on—Madam Gu, anxious,
called Xie Yu. “Didn’t you say you’d be back soon… look at the time now. Are you eating
dinner at home tonight or not?”
“I’m on the bus.”
“All you do on the weekend is play. You said you were with a classmate—which classmate?
When will you settle down and study properly? How much longer till you get home?”
Xie Yu deliberately ignored half her words and just answered, “Half an hour.”
Madam Gu reminded him again to mind his safety, then kept lecturing him. Xie Yu listened
quietly.
The feeling of, ‘I just secretly went on a date with my boyfriend,’ was getting stronger and
stronger. It wasn’t a big deal. They had just done the usual, and had a meal and saw a
movie. But Xie Yu felt that they had both done something incredible.
Madam Gu put down the phone. Xie Yu looked down, about to open his music app and
listen to some music to pass the time, but he saw on his home screen that a certain chat app
displayed 99 unread notifications.
He tapped in and found that Class 3 was having an unusually animated discussion. Even Old
Tang and Wu Zheng, the teachers who usually left the class group chat alone, had been
drawn out.
[Luo Wenqiang]: @InteriorAnglesOfAParallelLineTransversalAreSupplementary, hey,
study rep, can we talk? I’m so curious what you just posted on your QQ.
[Wan Da]: I want to know too. How shocking. I understand too little about this world we
live in.
[Liu Cunhao]: What’s this about? I’m going to see.
Liu Cunhao disappeared for a few minutes, then came back screaming.
[Liu Cunhao]:……
[Liu Cunhao]: My god!! What the hell!!!
Old Tang had not been looking at his QQ notifications, and by the time he arrived in the
chat, the key points of the conversation were far enough up in the conversation history he
didn’t see them. Calmly, he sent a question mark.
[Mr. Tang]: ?
[Mr. Wu Zheng]: What is this?
[Wan Da]: Teach, come on, look at this too. [/Image]
[Luo Wenqiang]: Study rep is superhuman.
The screenshot was of Xue Xisheng’s QQ page.
Xue Xisheng didn’t often put up pictures on his feed or use many emoji. He mostly posted
things like Compilations of High School Math Facts, Elegant Chemistry Experiments, or Ten
Ways to Study Effectively.
The screenshot was of Xue Xisheng’s feed, where he had posted a heartfelt description of
his encounter with the Question King Tournament app. He thanked the developers for
organizing the offline meetup, then described in meandering prose his exciting day.
—During summer vacation, I was walking down the street when a flyer unexpectedly
opened the door to studying. Everyone here loves learning and I could feel my heart
beating wildly…
TopTenInClass’s presentation on his study methods was very useful to me. Now, I also
want to make use of small pockets of time. The Birth of Einstein was a very exciting film
and everyone cried at the end. The spirit never dies and learning never ends.
My only regret is that I did not personally witness the showdown between God X and
Question King.
……
After the wall of text, there was even a picture.
It was a group photo of ten or so people each with a book in their hand, smiling at the
camera.
Xie Yu: “……”
Xue Xisheng didn’t often check his phone while he was studying and only appeared in the
chat after Class 3 had finished their heated discussion and was calming down.
[InteriorAnglesOfAParallelLineTransversalAreSupplementary]: ?
[InteriorAnglesOfAParallelLineTransversalAreSupplementary]: It’s a study app. Very
interesting.
Seeing the words ‘study app,’ Xie Yu remembered that to them, the showdown between
God X and Question King had not yet reached a conclusion.
He hesitated a while, then tapped on the Apple of Knowledge icon.
Unexpectedly, the chat area was very calm and even seemed quite happy. The last time Xie
Yu had seen the chat this happy was during summer vacation when he knocked Question
King off first place.
[StudystudystudythatsallIdo]: I told you! God X is stronger!
[TopTenInClass]: I really want to see the study god do questions in person.
[985211]: Never expected it to turn out this way. Not in a million years…
Xie Yu got the faint impression that something was off.
He opened his friends list. He Zhao had changed his signature from ‘Victory is mine’ to ‘I
admit defeat. God X, let me live.’
The bus reached an intersection. The light was red and it slowed to a stop.
Xie Yu leaned against the window, smiled, and cursed, “Idiot.”
Erzhong’s school anniversary celebration was next month.
There was still ample time to prepare, but after the novelty of the program had passed, they
all grew lax at rehearsing. Even Luo Wenqiang, who had shaken his butt while cleaning the
windows, had lost his enthusiasm.
The moment Xie Yu stepped into class, he met the arts rep who clearly had something to
say to him. Xie Yu stood in the doorway looking at her. “What’s up?”
Xu Jing was about to say something, then stopped.
He Zhao had gotten there early, and now he sat in his seat with his leg up on the chair and
said, “She wanted to ask if you practised the dance at home over the weekend. …No need to
ask, of course you didn’t.”
Not only did Xie Yu not practice, he had completely forgotten about it. “What dance?”
Xu Jing was completely despondent. “Coolest Guy Group in the Universe. We agreed we’d
make a bang. We agreed that this was our dream.”
Liu Cunhao had gone home over the weekend, and had played video games the whole time.
While he collected homework, he said, “About that… Wan Da, did you?”
Wan Da said, “I can’t bear to say it. Next.”
Luo Wenqiang was still eating breakfast: he had a bag of meat buns in his hand. He
swallowed his mouthful of food with much difficulty, then made excuses for everyone.
“About that… we’re all very easily satisfied. We all daydream about it in the chat and that’s
enough for us.”
The classroom was noisy. Some were reading aloud from their textbooks and others were
copying homework.
Mad Dog walked past their window twice.
Each time he went past, the classroom went silent for a while.
“Well said, well said. With contentment comes happiness.” Liu Cunhao clapped, then
counted the homework and found that although He Zhao had arrived to class early, he
hadn’t turned in anything. Liu Cunhao called, “Zhao-ge, your physics homework? Yu-ge,
yours, too.”
Xie Yu had just put his things down, and now he bent and looked in his desk for his physics
exercise book.
This was the homework from last Thursday. It was just two pages, but he hadn’t done much
of it—more than half the questions were blank, and the ones he did answer, he had
answered incorrectly.
Before he could take the book out, He Zhao held his hand in place.
Xie Yu glanced at He Zhao’s hand. “What are you doing?”
“You’re so unprofessional,” He Zhao said in a whisper. “You’re just going to turn it in?”
Xie Yu was slow to react.
He had left questions blank and made mistakes all over. This was a homework set that
might make the physics teacher call him to the office and personally instruct him.
Before Xie Yu could make heads or tails of it, he heard He Zhao say to Liu Cunhao, “There
was physics homework?”
“……”
Liu Cunhao was speechless, but he had also completely expected it. He pulled an exercise
book from the stack at random and tossed it to He Zhao. “Page 56. Quickly. I have to turn it
in before class starts.”
He had thrown accurately. He Zhao caught it and whistled. “No problem. Two minutes is all
I need.”
“How about that.” He Zhao found a pen and spread his hands; he would just copy a few
questions for show. “Impressive?”
Xie Yu put a hand to his temple. “Impressive.”
Old Wu hadn’t had enough of the gossip from yesterday’s class group chat. Before the class
bell rang to signal the start of the math self-study period, he inquired about it again. After
hearing the class’s piecemeal explanations, he said, “Is that so? The app sounds quite good.
You should all go download it.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “Ah, no, no, no, teach. It doesn’t suit us.”
Liu Cunhao said, “Can’t do it.”
Wan Da said, “I’ll die before I do it.”
The discussion grew more and more intense until the class bell rang. Old Wu rapped on the
podium. “All right, class is starting. For self-study today I’ll go over a very tough question.”
Before Wu Zheng had finished speaking, He Zhao turned and asked, “Join a game?”
While they were playing, the team chat grew somewhat strange.
[Handsome He]: There are three solutions to that question.
[xy]: Two. Where did you pull that third one from?
[Handsome He]: Take the midpoint of the diagonal and join to point F. Look again.

Chapter 077 - The answer you gave

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Old Wu finished writing the question, then drew a diagram to the side to help the class
visualize the problem more clearly. He then labelled the diagram and drew some more
lines.
Xie Yu glanced at the board and got the gist of the third solution He Zhao had mentioned. It
was workable, but it involved some unnecessary calculations and went in a few circles
before arriving at the answer.
[xy]: Too complicated to calculate.
[Handsome He]: It’s all right. Three minutes via mental math.
[xy]: You’re a real showoff.
On the phone screen, both game avatars were surrounded by the flashing lights of skills
being used. Xie Yu finished typing, then swiftly set off a chain of attacks.
Following his lead, He Zhao broke through the waves of enemies surrounding them and
went straight for the big boss in the back.
The boss was a monster with high defense and He Zhao whaled on it for a long time before
finally chipping away at its hit points. He glanced at the top right corner and saw Xie Yu’s
message in the team chat.
[xy]: What are your plans?
Xie Yu hadn’t directly asked, ‘How much longer are you going to pretend?’
Plans.
He Zhao stared at the word ‘plans’ and his fingers suddenly stopped moving. He had been
about to execute a final attack. As if possessed, he selected the healing skill instead.
His game avatar stopped moving and took a healing potion on the spot.
In the several seconds it took for him to do this, the tide of the battle turned.
Handsome He stood to one side, healing himself, while his HP kept dropping.
His hit points fell to 0 and the avatar slumped to the ground. In the same moment, He Zhao
finished typing his response and sent it.
[Handsome He]: I think I have the answer.
He Zhao continued typing, but before he could finish, an alert popped up in the middle of
his screen: Your friend Shen Jie requests to join the team.
Wu Zheng’s tough question now occupied two sections of the blackboard. The sounds of the
class next door reciting classical poems also drifted in through the window.
“While you are all still awake, I’ll go over this question with you.” Wu Zheng had used up his
half a stick of chalk, which was now about the length of a fingernail. He turned to get a new
piece and happened to see the two students in the back row doing who-knows-what. “……”
This time, Wu Zheng didn’t throw chalk. He made a shushing motion at the class, indicating
to everyone to be silent, then picked up the ruler and walked over.
Liu Cunhao held back his laughter. He made a fist with his hand, put it next to his mouth,
and said to Wan Da, “Bet you fifty cents they die today.”
“That might not happen.” Wan Da leaned over. “Zhao-ge’s so full of tricks. I bet he can
bounce back.”
Subsequent events proved that Wan Da had thought too highly of him.
He Zhao still had his phone in hand. Wu Zheng walked in front of him and could see the
game screen clearly. This was unshakeable evidence; He Zhao was dead meat.
Wu Zheng bent to look closer. “You two lead very exciting lives.”
Xie Yu barely managed to leave the team and hide the chat window from view.
He Zhao, too.
Now Wu Zheng only saw two poorly dressed avatars in the game lobby and He Zhao’s
notification: Your friend Shen Jie requests to join the team.
Your friend Shen Jie requests to join the team.
“……”
When Shen Jie was called by his homeroom teacher to the faculty office, he was in a daze.
He pushed open the office door and saw that his Zhao-ge and Xie Yu were also there.
The Class 8 homeroom teacher sat in a relaxed position, one hand resting on the back of his
chair, a red pen between his fingers. He asked mildly, “All right, explain what you were
doing during self-study period this morning.”
Shen Jie stammered, “Studying hard.”
He Zhao was in a good mood. The way he was standing to the side, one might think the
teacher had called him up to praise him. He smiled, then said, “Friend Shen Jie, please be
honest. Look into my eyes and try to recall.”
Shen Jie: “……”
Xie Yu leaned against the wall. He had slept badly last night and had not caught up on sleep
during self-study period, so now, standing in the office, he started feeling sleepy. He leaned
back quietly.
In the office, the various subject representatives came and went, carrying stacks of
homework.
They reported in: how many people did not turn the work in, or had not yet shown up to
class, or had left their homework at home.
The three of them stood out the most: Monday morning self-study period had not even
passed and they were already standing here getting lectured.
“Teach, I really know what I did wrong. I should have resisted the lure of the game…” Shen
Jie had never imagined that he would be this unlucky, but he obligingly admitted his
mistake. “I’ll turn over a new leaf and become a new person. After today, I’ll quit gaming
and study hard…”
While Shen Jie hung his head and admitted his mistakes, Xie Yu secretly nudged the back of
He Zhao’s hand and said, eyes half-closed, “What’s your answer?”
He Zhao turned to look at him.
He liked the way Xie Yu wore the uniform. Erzhong’s uniform was very ordinary and
everyone had hated it when it was first distributed. They took every chance they got not to
wear the uniform and when they didn’t, their confidence went up and they walked with a
spring in their step.
But Xie Yu wore it differently. He already looked like he didn’t follow the rules, his
expression both cold and frustrated, as if at any moment he would roll up his sleeves and
pick a fight with you. But he still wore the uniform every day.
“The answer you gave,” He Zhao whispered. “The answer you gave me in the theater.”
At first, He Zhao was indifferent to the notion of getting good grades and pleasing the
teachers.
He wasn’t the sort to study night and day; he had his fun, too. He played all the popular
games and joined in all the class activities.
Although he caused a lot of headaches, most teachers still praised him. “He’s quite good.
Has character. He’s a guy and he’s still young, so he’s a little wild…”
Nothing had changed at all.
But now that his grades had dropped, he became the one his homeroom teacher accused of
leading the charge in buying exam answers, and became someone Xu Xia called ‘your sort.’
With the matter of Erlei on top of that, he seemed to be spiraling downward, forever, with
no end in sight.
Even he felt that he was rotten to the core.
But although Xie Yu hadn’t directly said it, that day…
His cold,emotionless boyfriend had held out a hand in the gentlest possible way.
He hadn’t undone any of the knots in He Zhao’s heart, but He Zhao now felt that he had
much more courage.
—Courage to face these things and overcome them.
Shen Jie continued his apology for three minutes and was still unable to move the Class 9
homeroom teacher, who also was someone with an explosive temper. “You’re not sincere
enough. Go back and write a 3000-word reflection essay. Not a single word less.”
Shen Jie said with heartfelt pain, “Will do, sir.”
Then the Class 8 homeroom teacher waved dismissively. “All right, go back to class. I’ll deal
with you later.”
Old Tang, on the other hand, didn’t say anything so cliche. He finished his work at hand,
then brought both of them to the balcony, thought for a while, and said, “Have you thought
about what you’re going to do in the future? You don’t absolutely have to study. Some
people study hard because they don’t yet know what they’re going to do, so they just do the
best they can on the matters at hand to prepare for the future and wait for the things they
do want to do.”
“Some people know what they want to do, so they strive towards the future they want.”
“What about you? Where do you want to go?”
“Regardless of where you want to go, you can’t just keep lying on the floor because you
don’t know.”
A strong wind blew across the balcony. Several potted plants stood to the side, under the
sun, including the cactus Old Tang called Xiao Cui. He had probably been holding back this
speech for a long time. He really couldn’t rest easy seeing the two of them lounge about all
day doing nothing.
“All right, I won’t make you write reflection essays.” Old Tang sighed, then said, “Go back to
class.”
Xie Yu walked in front.
Shen Jie followed behind He Zhao. The moment he stepped out of the office, his entire
demeanor changed. He tossed his head and inwardly cursed: Really damn unlucky today.
“Zhao-ge, aren’t you going to explain?” Shen Jie jumped up and hooked an arm around He
Zhao’s neck. “Aren’t you sorry? I’m your bro…”
He Zhao smiled and let him keep making a fuss. He hadn’t thought that Shen Jie would get
implicated just by playing a game. The worst had been that Old Wu had gone straight to
Class 8’s homeroom teacher and said, “Is there a student named Shen Jie in your class? Tell
him not to keep bothering He Zhao and Xie Yu from my class and asking them to play video
games.”
The Class 8 homeroom teacher had protected his brood, “How can you say that? I think it’s
the students from your class who lured Shen Jie first.”
Wu Zheng said, “Bullshit. See for yourself: request to join the team. Four or five of them.
Can you read?”
The two had then started quarrelling.
He Zhao said, sidling out of the way, “What’s there to explain? There’s nothing to explain.
You were just unlucky.”
Shen Jie was nearly a full head shorter than He Zhao, and he was going to jump up and try
to get He Zhao’s neck again but then he saw Xie Yu who had stopped in his tracks, both
hands stuck in his pockets and leaning against the wall, glaring coldly at him.
In Xie Yu’s eyes was clearly written: Just try doing that again.
Shen Jie: “……”
He quietly put his hands back down. “Count me unlucky, then. I’m going back to class. Bye.”
He Zhao waved and said, “Safe trip.”
Then he walked up to Xie Yu and said, “Why’d you stop here?”
Xie Yu paused for a moment before saying, “Old Tang.”
“Ah.” He Zhao froze for two seconds and said nothing.
After Old Tang had become Class 3’s homeroom teacher, the atmosphere of the class had
changed. While Xu Xia was there, the class had all restrained themselves, but now they said
anything they wanted to in their class chat.
That time they did the blackboard presentation on ‘My Dreams,’ most of them had been
bullshitting, but Old Tang still spent a lot of effort looking for resources for each of them,
hoping they would be able to establish their goals.
Xie Yu wanted to say, People aren’t the same. Old Tang isn’t Xu Xia.
But then he thought He Zhao must already know that.
Eventually, he said, “Let’s go back to class, boyfriend.”
In the classroom, Xu Jing was trying to get the Coolest Guy Group in the Universe to
rehearse their dance. Even before entering the class, Xie Yu could hear them counting the
beats. Luo Wenqiang shook his butt invitingly and everyone around him was laughing,
saying, “Have you thought about what you’re going to wear on stage? Gym rep, just wear
the costume from the sports meet. You’ll be on fire. It’s a waste to wear it just once.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “…Shh. Don’t let Jing-jing hear it or she might come up with some new
ideas.”
The day of the school anniversary celebration drew closer and closer. A banner had been
put up over the school gates. Aside from practicing, what Class 3 wanted most was to know
what performances the other classes would be putting up. They wanted to know how
strong their opponents were.
Therefore, Wan Da visited all the Year 2 classrooms. Within three days, he came up with an
agenda even more detailed than the official one the school had distributed.
“Class 7 is dancing, too. And they have awesome costumes.” Between classes, several of
them gathered in the back row around the agenda. Xie Yu was slumped on his desk,
napping. Liu Cunhao sat in the empty seat opposite him and complained. “They’re all
wearing suits. Animals, the lot of them, but well-dressed ones.”
Xie Yu couldn’t sleep. As he lay with his eyes half-open, his hand found He Zhao’s under the
table.
He Zhao wordlessly squeezed back. His little friend’s fingers were slender and long, the
knuckles pressing into his palm, and an idea came to him, “I think we have to get a little
creative.”
Xu Jing was looking at the agenda. Still with her head bowed, she said, “Tell me. Creative
how?”
“For example,” He Zhao paused, then smiled again. “…Black nail polish.”

Chapter 078 - White button-downs

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Wan Da was still recounting to the class the great contributions he had made, moving
himself nearly to tears. For the sake of compiling this agenda, he had nearly died in Class 7,
which had mobbed him the moment he walked in.
When He Zhao mentioned the black nail polish, Wan Da unsteadily backed away two paces.
He caught hold of Liu Cunhao and said, “Damn, brothers, let’s retreat. Quick.”
Liu Cunhao nearly lost his footing, too. He jumped up into the air, flipping his chair as he
did so. “…Retreat, retreat! Run, everyone!”
He Zhao noticed Xie Yu freeze up next to him. Xie Yu’s hand, which had been toying with his
until now, tickling his palm and catching hold of his fingers, now stilled. Xie Yu stood up,
looked at him, and said, “Do you want to die?”
Everyone knew about Xie Yu and the black nail polish.
He was a figure of legend, someone dark and unknowable.
Although Liu Cunhao and the others were not aware of the details, Xie Yu had introduced
himself on the first day of second year by saying he did not wear black nail polish. It
certainly didn’t seem like a happy topic for him.
“The two of them, really.” Liu Cunhao and the others had safely retreated from the
battleground and now ran around the classroom to the podium. After they caught their
breaths, he said, “All they do is romp around.”
Then Wan Da said, “Romping around is a good word for it.”
Exactly. They were romping around.
Xie Yu was especially irritable before he woke up completely, but from their angle all they
could see was He Zhao pinning Xie Yu against the wall, hands trapping Xie Yu’s wrist.
He Zhao looked at him. “All right, I’m done. I was just joking.”
Xie Yu didn’t bother with words and immediately started a fight.
Luo Wenqiang shook his head. “How embarrassing.”
Xu Qingqing said, “I can’t even look.”
Wan Da said, “It’s… very gay.”
He Zhao was very familiar with Xie Yu’s temper. Xie Yu seemed harsh, but if he got his way
he would calm down in less than three minutes. So He Zhao did just that and retreated, but
then Xu Jing provoked Xie Yu again by saying, “Actually, I think that’s quite a good idea…”
Unlike Class 7, who had picked a steady and down-to-earth song, Class 3’s dance routine
featured a song that was rather grim. Considering a few other things, Xu Jing concluded that
a dark tone would suit their routine.
The more Xu Jing thought about it, the more she believed it would work.
Luo Wenqiang saw that they had stopped fighting and walked off the podium. “Jing-jing, are
you serious? Jing-jing?”
Xie Yu was righting the chair with one hand and glanced at Xu Jing.
That look made a chill run up Xu Jing’s spine.
Xu Jing really hadn’t given up. The second day, she brought a bottle of nail polish but didn’t
dare pass it to the back row. She sat next to Xu Qingqing and asked nervously, “What do
you think? What should I say so that Yu-ge will let me live?”
Xu Qingqing said as she collected homework, “I don’t think there’s any way to say it and
live.”
Xu Jing sighed in disappointment.
He Zhao came back to the classroom. When he passed the third row, he pulled two napkins
from the stack Xu Jing had at the side of her desk, and cleaned his hands. He asked, “Arts
rep, what is this?”
“Nail polish,” Xu Jing said. “Black.”
He Zhao took it, twisted the top open, glanced at it, paused, then said, “Can I borrow this for
a while?”
Xie Yu napped during morning self-study. He slumped on the table and shut his eyes, but
couldn’t fall asleep. The English teacher was leading the class in reading vocabulary aloud.
They were very noisy and weren’t reading in unison. They had started out all right, but
after they got to the next page they started falling out of sync, some reading faster than
others
Xie Yu shut his eyes and felt He Zhao touch his hand lightly.
Then a noxious scent reached him.
Xie Yu opened his eyes and saw He Zhao carefully putting something on his fingernails.
“……”
He Zhao just wanted to see what his little friend looked like with it on, but he had barely
done three fingers before being very shocked.
Xie Yu’s nails were very well-kept. His fingers were long, the joints making sharp angles.
The black nail polish made his hand look very pale, nearly sickly.
“Wipe it off.” Xie Yu held back his temper. “I’ll give you three seconds.”
He Zhao finally came back to his senses and used the wad of tissue he had cleaned his
hands with just now to clean the nail polish from Xie Yu’s nails. He accidentally smeared a
little of it onto Xie Yu’s finger.
The day of the school anniversary celebration drew nearer and nearer.
Aside from constant practice, the group also focused on finding the right performance
costumes. They came up with many sets and Xu Jing even asked Old Tang over to help them
decide. But Old Tang’s taste was clearly of a different generation than their own. “What do
you think about Zhongshan suits?¹ They embody the spirit of the Constitution…”
Everyone said in unison, “No, no, no, that won’t do.”
“Not suitable. Really, they don’t suit.”
Xie Yu had only one request for the performance costume: that it look normal.
Nothing else mattered. Even wearing the school uniform would be fine.
Xu Jing considered a few more things, then decided they would all wear white button-
downs. The style went with everything and they couldn’t go wrong with it.
They placed the order late and the shirts arrived at school only two days before the
celebration.
“They just got here. No one’s left yet, right?” Not long after the class dismissal bell rang, Luo
Wenqiang walked in holding a cardboard box. “Come on, come on. Look for your number
and take yours. Try them on at home and bring them back in tomorrow if they don’t fit.
Xie Yu got back to his dorm room and tossed the shirt onto the bed. He showered, then
looked at the shirt for a while and removed the clear packaging.
The shirt had a simple design and was a little loose.
When He Zhao knocked on the door, Xie Yu had just taken off his jacket and had not yet put
on the shirt.
Just now, during evening self-study, He Zhao had said he had found an interesting mock
exam yesterday and was going to show it to him later. Xie Yu knew he was coming over and
didn’t lock the door.
The door was slightly ajar.
He Zhao rapped at the door with his knuckles, then pushed the door open and was
immediately greeted with his boyfriend’s naked back.
Xie Yu had just showered and had not yet dried his hair. It looked damp.
He Zhao’s gaze went to Xie Yu’s low-rise jeans and to the shallow dip of his lower back.
Then he looked back up at the smooth lines of his shoulder blades.
He had only looked for a while—not even enough time to blink—before Xie Yu put on the
white button-down shirt.
“Where’s the practice paper?” Xie Yu did up the buttons of the shirt, head bowed, fingers
tangling in the buttons which were white like jade. His collar was wide open, his
collarbones visible beneath the material. “How far did you get?”
White shirts usually lent the person an air of collected calm, but He Zhao felt that the
surrounding air was getting warmer.
He was in no mood to think about practice papers.
“Not going to do it,” He Zhao said. “I want to do something else.”
It was tough for two people to fit in a single bed, and when they moved the bed creaked.
The room was silent around them, so the sound was magnified. It sounded suggestive.
The buttons on the shirt Xie Yu had just done up, He Zhao now undid one by one, from the
bottom up.
He Zhao’s movements were impatient. Using just one hand to undo the buttons was
annoying and if not for Xie Yu reminding him that he still needed to wear this on stage two
days later, He Zhao might have ripped the buttons all off.
“Don’t pull so hard.” Xie Yu’s hair was half dry, the shirt collar growing damp, and even his
eyes seemed to mist over. “If you rip the buttons off you can get out.”
He Zhao used less strength.
His fingertips, radiating warmth, kept wandering upwards. With his other hand he undid
the zipper of Xie Yu’s jeans, the low-slung pants hanging at his hips, then shoved his hand
inside.
Xie Yu had been fierce just before, but now he was speechless. His fingers wound through
He Zhao’s hair, curving slightly, and he made a noise of assent.
A very small noise, barely escaping his lips.
He dragged the sound out, ruffling feathers in He Zhao’s heart. It tickled.
Neither of them could control themselves. He Zhao’s hand moved to Xie Yu’s back, then
kept moving downward, over his tailbone and to the dip… Xie Yu felt where he was
touching and froze up, his mind going blank.
“…Ge.” Xie Yu said against his lips, calling out to him.
But the sound made He Zhao come to his senses.
His little friend wasn’t of age yet.
Not yet of age.
Fuck.
He Zhao pulled his hand out, holding on to the edge of the bed, and steadied himself.
Xie Yu took another shower, but still didn’t feel calm enough, so he pulled the performance
shirt over and washed it in the water.
He Zhao was not that much better off. By the time he had finished his shower, someone was
whistling downstairs. He towelled his hair and walked to his bed, about to check the time,
when he noticed a text his little friend had sent ten minutes ago.
Birthday, in two months, 18.
Xie Yu’s text was straightforward and at a glance He Zhao couldn’t put the three pieces of
information together. He read it twice, and after making sense of it, he felt that the shower
he had just taken was pointless. His body was burning up again.
He even suspected Xie Yu was doing it on purpose.
Provoking him on purpose.
The next morning.
Xie Yu and He Zhao entered the classroom, one after the other. Seeing them, Xu Jing forgot
all about the English vocabulary she had been memorizing and quickly asked them if their
performance shirts fit. “How are the shirts? You didn’t reply in the group chat when I asked
last night…”
Xu Jing had asked about it several times in the group chat. Liu Cunhao said it fit well, Luo
Wenqiang said his was a little small, so everyone discussed whether wearing it a few more
times would make it fit better and asked him to eat a little less for a couple days.
Till the end, neither of the group’s core members had shown up.
Even mentioning them several times in the chat didn’t help.
“The shirt…” He Zhao coughed. “…It fits fine.”
Xie Yu had not finished yesterday’s homework, so he opened his exercise book and started
copying.
It was for the best that the shirt fit. The celebration was nearly upon them and there was no
time to change them even if they didn’t fit. Xu Jing let out a sigh of relief and asked, “Yu-ge,
what about you?”
Before Xie Yu could reply, He Zhao said, “His fits fine, too.”
Xu Jing: “……”
Something wasn’t quite right with the way He Zhao had replied. Xu Jing thought about it for
a while and figured it out. She said carefully, “How do you know?”
Xie Yu’s pen froze halfway through copying a multiple-choice answer.

Translation notes:
[1] Zhongshan suits, named after Sun Yat-sen.

Chapter 079 -You have a boyfriend now. Don’t flirt so hard.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The day of Erzhong’s anniversary celebration, banners were hung up throughout the school
and posters covered every noticeboard. They were red, a festive color, and on them was
written: Celebrating Liyang Erzhong’s 67th Founding Anniversary.
Streamers hung above school gates and students talked about the event as they carried
their schoolbags through the gates.
The student council had started decorating the great hall several days ago. Once they were
done, they started rehearsing the program.
All the teachers were dressed formally today.
Old Tang was already not young and his fashion sense was even older than he was. He had
a thing for old-fashioned cloth shoes. Now, wearing a suit, his outfit could be considered
passable, and he looked more energetic and sprightly than usual.
But he still looked as if he felt a little uncomfortable, and he tugged at his tie from time to
time when standing on stage.
“Xu Jing said in the group chat that we should go practice after lunch.” He Zhao poked Xie
Yu with a pen and asked, “Do you still remember the moves?”
Xie Yu was lying down, cheek pillowed on his arms as he looked at He Zhao. “I do.”
He Zhao raised his hand and comfortably ruffled Xie Yu’s hair. It was soft and he didn’t
want to stop once he started touching it. “Why don’t I believe that?”
Xie Yu had not been enthusiastic about practicing and most of the time he just went
through the motions, stone-faced. Xu Jing was less worried about Luo Wenqiang, who
danced like he was performing a ritual, than she was about Xie Yu not being able to follow
along.
Xie Yu just thought that since he had learned the moves, it was annoying to keep
rehearsing. “Believe it or not, that’s up to you.”
Mad Dog was enthusiastic today and read out Erzhong’s school history over the morning
announcement. He briefly recapped every key event that had happened over the more than
sixty years of school history, then said, “Our school history is mostly made up of, not
glorious acts of heroism, excellent resources, or the strength of our teaching staff… but of
you, the children who go through three years of highschool in Erzhong, class after class.”
Mad Dog kept rambling on over the broadcast. Xie Yu was starting to get a headache
listening to it, and flipped open a comic book lying to one side.
Wan Da had brought it from home. The comic was ten books long, a hot-blooded shounen
comic. It had been fervently passed around the classroom for a few days, all the boys
reading volume after volume.

The day before yesterday, Luo Wenqiang had been reading it in math class and Old Wu had
confiscated it, then penalized him with ten math problems. The class was too eager to read
the comics and, as a result, planned to sneak into the faculty office while Old Wu wasn’t
looking to take the comic back.
“Old Xie, are you a man or not?” He Zhao wanted to drag Xie Yu along, but Xie Yu wasn’t
very interested so he tried to taunt him. “Are you scared?”
Xie Yu said, “Scared, my ass.”
They paced outside the faculty office with Wan Da for a while and saw Old Wu flip the
comic open. He read all class period and gave them no chance to strike. “……”
Xie Yu had not flipped two pages before he heard He Zhao say loudly, “Teach, today
you’re… elegant. Dashing and handsome. You look ten years younger. Very good-looking.”
As He Zhao spoke he backed away, rocking backwards on his chair so it stood unsteadily on
two legs.
Liu Cunhao realized what he was doing and continued, “Truly, the Aaron Kwok¹ of
Erzhong.”
Now that all the compliments had already been given, Luo Wenqiang could only say, “Just
one word! Cool!”
The whole class started laughing and clapping in agreement.
Old Tang embarrassedly touched the top of his head. “What are you all going on about?”
As he finished speaking, he let his hand rest on the side of the podium and didn’t keep
tugging at his tie.
Xie Yu stared at He Zhao, who was still rocking in his chair, completely unbecoming.
It was nearly winter and the students who got cold easily had already started putting on
winter wear. He Zhao still dressed lightly but he looked like a human furnace. He had even
folded up his sleeves, revealing his wrists.
At one point, Liu Cunhao had mentioned that if he wasn’t to be class leader, He Zhao would
be the next most suitable choice.
He was indeed suitable.
He looked as if he didn’t follow rules, but he was only hiding his true abilities.
The school anniversary event had been scheduled for after school, during the time period
when evening self-study was usually held. The students involved in rehearsal had to be
there by the afternoon. After eating lunch, Liu Cunhao took his performance outfit out from
under his desk. “We’ll get to skip class for half a day! How nice!”
“Stop going on about that.” Xu Jing and Xu Qingqing both got their costumes and were
holding hands. “Change quickly and we’ll meet at the stairwell.”
They couldn’t change in class—it wasn’t good to show off one’s shoulders in public—so
they all headed for the bathrooms.
There were six stalls in the men’s room. Liu Cunhao and the others occupied one each,
moving as swiftly as if they were grabbing hot food. Finally, only the innermost stall was
left.
Luo Wenqiang stepped into the second-to-last stall and said as he locked the door, “Sorry,
Zhao-ge, Yu-ge, you’ll have to squeeze.”
Xie Yu stood in the doorway, holding his outfit, and considered kicking Luo Wenqiang into
the toilet bowl.
“Let’s go.” He Zhao, on the other hand, was very satisfied and threw an arm around Xie Yu’s
shoulders with a smile. “Squeeze?”
The stall was way too small and even without moving they were skin to skin. And they had
to take off their clothes.
He Zhao moved quicker and shed his clothes in a few swift motions. Xie Yu had just
unzipped his jacket when his arm brushed against He Zhao’s waist. It was firm.
His frame was lean, masculine and faintly defined, the unique youthfulness of a teenager
“Move over.” Xie Yu paused, then said, “Go on, move aside.”
While changing, the others chatted. The conversation came round to the thrilling comic
book series and Liu Cunhao said loudly, “I’m up to volume five. Who’s got volume six?”
“Volume six isn’t around any more.”
“It’s with Old Wu.”
“You still haven’t gotten it back?”
“……How could we have gotten it back?! Tell me how to get it back! Old Wu reads it every
class period! And he still hasn’t finished it!”
Aside from the people changing in the stalls, people flowed in and out of the bathroom.
Xie Yu put on his clothes, then did up his trousers. When he looked up again, He Zhao was
leaning against the stall door, watching him. “What?”
He Zhao had already changed. The white button-down gave him a careless and roguish air.
He had not done up the first three buttons and the shirt lay audaciously open.
“Looking at you,” He Zhao said. “How does my little friend look so good?”
Xie Yu tugged up the zipper of his pants little by little, then took two steps forward, lifted a
hand, and did up He Zhao’s shirt buttons for him. His fingers lingered on the buttons,
feeling He Zhao’s warmth through the material of the shirt. He said, “You… have a boyfriend
now. Don’t flirt so hard.”
He Zhao didn’t move. He let Xie Yu do up two buttons, then couldn’t stop himself from
moving closer.
“Zhao-ge, are you two done?”
Luo Wenqiang was strong and he knocked on the door as if he was going to break it down.
When his hand met the door, even the neighboring stalls shook.
He Zhao: “……”
Luo Wenqiang knocked on the door for a while before it opened. He had planned to twirl on
the spot to show off his new look and ask if he looked handsome, but then he saw that He
Zhao’s expression was dark.
They were in a hurry and they quickly assembled in the stairwell after they changed. Xu
Qingqing and the other girls took a while longer, so they waited around.
By the time the girls emerged, the guys had been waiting in the stairwell for about five
minutes.
Luo Wenqiang, Wan Da, and the others stood close to the doorway, standing in a row and
posing attentively. Wen Qiang had stuck one hand in his pocket and Liu Cunhao folded his
hands over his chest, a chilly expression and a distant look in his eyes.
Xu Jing’s gaze skipped right over this lot of crazies and landed on the two pretty faces of
Class 3.
They, unlike the others, weren’t making a scene. They sat side by side on the stairs.
Xie Yu’s legs were bent under him, his low-waisted jeans full of holes. His legs were long
and slender, and the hole at his knee revealed a large swath of skin, so pale it dazzled.
Xu Jing was mesmerized for a few seconds.
He Zhao had his phone in one hand, his other arm wrapped around Xie Yu’s neck. He looked
as if he was trying to take a selfie with him. Xie Yu didn’t seem willing and stared at the
camera with a blank expression.
He Zhao wasn’t good at photography and he had picked a bad angle. If not for both their
good looks, which carried the show, the photo would have been a trainwreck.
But He Zhao was still confident. “How is this? Look at my composition.”
“Composition, my ass,” Xie Yu said, standing up. “Wake up. Get real.”
The school’s great hall was not often used. Aside from school-wide celebrations like this
one, it was only occupied during the start-of-year assembly.
The stage had a wooden floor and dark red curtains hung to either side.
From the vantage point of the stage, the audience area was an endless sea of seats.
On the way here, Liu Cunhao and the others had been bragging about wanting to beat the
other classes down, but the moment they stood on stage their legs went weak.
Luo Wenqiang said, “How did I never realize the school hall was this big?”
Liu Cunhao asked, “Can this many people really fit in the hall?”
Wan Da asked, “Does anyone want to go pee?”
“Spineless, the lot of you.” He Zhao, who was standing right in the middle, kicked Luo
Wenqiang lightly in jest as he said, “What were we all saying on the way here?”
‘Coolest Guy Group in the Universe’ representative Luo Wenqiang replied, “Yes, we’re
spineless.”
Xie Yu had not participated much in their daily practices, but he had also never made a
mistake during practice. When he danced on stage he was not worried at all that he would
do the steps wrong. Even without the spotlights from the AV crew, he seemed to radiate a
brilliant light.
He was different from He Zhao, who wanted to entertain. Xie Yu did not want to express
himself, but he couldn’t help that other people looked at him.
People were unable to look away.
Xu Jing completed the final move to the last note of the song, and the weight in her heart
finally lifted. She thought, We’ve got it now.
At 6 p.m. that evening, the audience began trickling in and the empty hall began to grow
noisy.
The school administrators sat in the first row, a table in front of them bearing placards with
their names and positions.
The two emcees delivered a long opening address, then started to announce the
performances. “Now, let us welcome Class 1 with a reading of the poem ‘My School.’ A
round of applause, please…”
The performers were all sitting in the first few rows so that they would be able to get on
stage more easily.
There was nothing to watch for a poem recitation, so Xie Yu listened for a while then
turned and asked, “When are we up?”
“Didn’t you see the program? We’re after class 2. Eighth in line.”
“I didn’t look closely.”
The two girls on stage finished reading the last line of their poem and bowed to the
audience, then the lights in the hall went out. Several seconds later, when the lights came
back, the two reciters had already walked off stage and the two well-dressed emcees
emerged again. “Thank you, Class 1, for bringing this exciting performance to us. On this
special day, we’re sure everyone is as excited as we are…”
Class 2 ‘s performance was a comedy sketch. The audience all laughed wildly and the noise
woke Xie Yu up.
“We’re up.” Xu Jing passed the word down from the head of the line. “Get ready, and don’t
be nervous.”
Luo Wenqiang watched the stage, so nervous he could not blink, as each class performed.
He turned to say something to the person behind him, then saw that Xie Yu, on his right,
was still rubbing his half-closed eyes, looking sleepy. “We’re up—Yu-ge, you’re so calm.”
Rumors had spread that the two big bros of Class 3 would both perform on stage, and many
threads had sprung up on the school forum discussing it. Everyone was saying, “It’s worth
it! Damn, I’m happy to be alive to see this sight… it’s worth it.”
They had all imagined this scene countless times, but no one expected that seeing it with
their own eyes would be even more stunning.
Translation notes:
[1] Aaron Kwok: a Hong Kong actor and musician

Chapter 080 - “I can see you.”

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“Class 2.3, dancing to ‘X.’”
As the announcer finished the introduction, Class 3 started cheering from the audience
stands and the music started playing from behind. “Ohh—”
Some people started shrieking, few and far between at first. The lights around the audience
started to dim, starting from the head of the line and going down to the end of the line.
Only a dozen spotlights remained lit and pointed at the stage, shining downward from all
directions, brilliant and dazzling.
“Deep breaths,” He Zhao said, standing up. “Gym rep, you’re shaking so hard. Are you
afraid?”
Luo Wenqiang took two deep breaths and flinched. “I can’t. I…”
“If you’re a man stop saying you can’t.”
“But I really…”
Luo Wenqiang hadn’t finished before Xie Yu cut him off. “Shall I beat you up to calm you
down?”
Xie Yu had been straightening his sleeves, and without looking up, he folded them up a
little.
Luo Wenqiang believed Big Bro Xie Yu was not joking and genuinely considered ‘beating
you up’ to be the best solution to the problem at hand. If one punch didn’t do it, then he
would make it two.
“No need, Yu-ge, thank you.” Luo Wenqiang suddenly felt his hands weren’t trembling any
more. His survival instinct forced him to calm down. “I think I can do it. I’m a man. I can.”
He Zhao rested one hand on Xie Yu’s waist and smiled. He bent close to Xie Yu’s ear and
said, “You’re pretty good.”
Xie Yu took two steps forward. He Zhao’s hand had only been lightly resting there at first,
but now it got more and more inappropriate. “Can you stop goddamn touching?”
Xu Jing led the group. She and Xu Qingqing had tied their hair into two high braids, a simple
hairstyle that even looked handsome. They had changed their styling a little that afternoon,
stuffing the hem of their shirts into their pants so that their legs would look longer.
They walked onstage, heads held high, full of confidence.
Xie Yu walked right at the end of the line and didn’t squeeze onto the steps with the others.
The stage was not very high, so he put one hand on the stage and jumped up.
With the movement, the hem of his button-down lifted, revealing his waist.
His frame was slender and masculine, and his waist was narrow.
The vision passed in the blink of an eye.
The audience was set alight by this simple but showy movement. Not only Class 3 was
screaming themselves hoarse—the whole hall exploded into shrieks and applause.
Several first-year girls, sitting in the front row close to the stage, had never seen the
legendary school tyrant and couldn’t match the name to the face. “Ah, was that really…?!”
“Xie Yu of the West Building.”
Last year, a long corridor had separated the East and West Buildings. Like well water and
river water, they did not intermingle. This year, both the legendary school tyrants had not
made much trouble after entering second year, and the only big matter had been their CP
thread on the school forum, which had been stacked so high with replies it had reached the
clouds.
Now they stood side by side on stage. Under the spotlights, they were haloed in a layer of
light, very striking.
When He Zhao wasn’t smiling, he gave off an air of aloofness unlike his usual relaxed
manner. This was actually more in line with their ideal of a ‘school tyrant.’
The intro to the song began to play and the crowd went wild.
He Zhao stood center stage. Everyone else got down on the floor around him, supporting
their weight on one hand, and started the opening steps.
More lights went out.
He Zhao lifted one arm over his head, making a ‘3’ in the air to the strong drumbeat and the
melody of the music.
He Zhao had a strong presence, and just by moving his hand he got the crowd going.
The eyes of the entire audience were focused on him. The cuffs of his shirtsleeves slid down
his raised arm, revealing his fine-boned wrist. The red string on it was very striking. When
the next drumbeat sounded, he put down his ring finger, changing the handsign.
Three.
Two.
One.
The third drumbeat sounded and everyone scattered, changing formation.
“It’s cool, but it’s also very middle school.”
Class 3 was both excited, and extremely embarrassed. “…Thank goodness this was Zhao-ge.
If this were someone else I wouldn’t even be able to look. Such a show-off.”
He Zhao was already a class clown and no embarrassing thing he did would ever measure
up to that time at the sports meet, when he had led them in yelling Number One before
even crossing the finish line.
Among them, only Xu Jing had taken dance lessons before. Everyone else was an amateur.
Even though they had memorized the dance moves over many days, they still didn’t
execute them very smoothly.
But it was precisely that awkwardness that was touching.
Their shirts were overlarge and billowed with their dramatic and enthusiastic movements,
faintly outlining their bodies as they moved.
Before going on stage, Xie Yu had said ‘Nervous, my ass. Only an idiot would be nervous.’
But perhaps he was dancing too hard, because he began to feel warm all over, from head to
toe.
Shrieks sounded from below the stage.
The audience stand was pitch dark, but also seemed to be awash with color.
Someone from Class 3 had made a signboard, written in red glowing ink: Class 3’s the
coolest!
Zhao-ge’s unbeatable!
Class 3 takes the victory!
……

The performance was short, just five minutes.

Old Tang had his phone raised the whole time, not looking at the stage. He wanted to look,
but then he would not be able to look at his phone recording, and the camera might end up
going crooked and pointing somewhere else.
The music was deafening and the dance was striking.
At the part where the dancers hugged each other’s waists, screams erupted. He Zhao had
completely forgotten Xu Jing’s instructions prior to going on stage—she had said not to
smile and to act cool instead—and the corner of his lips lifted in a smile.
When the last move was done, the music also stopped.
All the lights on stage went out.
To make transitions more fluid, the lights in the hall would be dimmed between
performances for the performers to leave and the emcees to walk out from backstage.
They had been reminded of this several times during rehearsal. Don’t stick around on stage
and leave quickly.
“Damn, it’s so dark.” Liu Cunhao was shocked— he could see only several steps ahead of
him. He felt around for the side of the stage as he walked, saying, “…I think we were really
damn cool just now.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “I think so too. This is my best performance to date. So many girls were
shrieking at me from the audience.”
Wan Da, on the other hand, was self-aware. After a moment of silence, he said, “You sure
they were shrieking at you? Yu-ge, say something. Make him face reality.”
“Ah?” Xie Yu had not been listening. He tugged at his collar and went to jump off the side of
the stage.
Then he heard He Zhao call him from behind. “Old Xie.”
The hall had only several small windows and it was dark outside, so there was not much
light.
Xie Yu was feeling a little warm and had just undone one of his buttons when he glanced
back. He Zhao, half shrouded in darkness, caught hold of the back of his head and kissed
him without warning.
He Zhao was warm, too, and when he drew near he was still breathing hard.
Nearly half the school was in the audience, both teachers and students. There were dozens
of rows of seats, and the people who didn’t fit in the hall were watching a live broadcast
from their classrooms.
The applause had not faded. The nearest row of seats was just several steps away. Xie Yu
stood on the middle of the stage and could hear all the whispers from below.
“They’re so cool!”
“Did you record it? I want to watch it again.”
“I recorded it. Later.”

“……”
Although they knew that no one in the audience could see anything, both their hearts still
uselessly skipped a beat.
Alongside that was a very faint pride, rising up from the bottom of both their hearts.
As if wanting to tell everyone: He is mine.

“Thank you, Class 3, for that dance performance. An extremely cool dance that made the
audience go wild.” The lights in the hall went on again and the emcees had walked out from
backstage to stand center stage. “Now, let us all calm down and enjoy, from Class 8, a little
comedy sketch—’Top Student.’”
“Shen Jie’s class.” He Zhao jumped down from the stage and ran to the seating area just as
the lights went on. The entire thing had taken less than two seconds. He sat down in his
seat, still shocked, and steadied himself before saying, “During rehearsal I saw a bit of it. It’s
very funny. They took a talent show and changed it up…”
Xie Yu said, “I didn’t see them rehearsing.”
“What could you have seen?” He Zhao said. “You’re always sleeping or playing video games.
When you sit to the side, no one even dares talk to you.”
Xie Yu said lightly, “Ah. So you had a good time talking.”
“……”
He Zhao had never imagined that his offhand remark would lead to his death.
During afternoon rehearsal, a group of senior girls had surrounded He Zhao, explaining
everything from where to stand on stage to how to exit the stage. Xu Jing, the dance lead,
and Liu Cunhao, the class rep, had stood idly by.
On stage, Shen Jie and the others were swiftly moving stools and setting up their props.
Aside from three students acting as ‘teacher-judges,’ the others wore their school uniforms.
He Zhao was trying to figure out how to explain himself when he heard Xie Yu say, “I can
see you.”
He Zhao froze.
Xie Yu repeated, “I can see you, so you’d better watch yourself.”
Class 8’s comedy sketch was as funny as advertised. It opened on the three teacher-judges
with their backs to the participants as the participants came on stage one by one to
introduce themselves. “Dear teachers and judges, hello. I’m Xiao Cai from Class 2.8 and I’m
here to participate in Super Student. My dream is to spread the charms of studying to
everyone, and my performance will be—reciting 30 English words in a minute.”
“He’s good!” the teacher-judges began to discuss, about to turn around. “I think he’s very
good!”
“……”
As Xie Yu finished speaking, He Zhao started laughing, his hand over his mouth as he grew
increasingly unable to hold it in.
He might have been laughing at the comedy sketch on stage, or laughing at Xie Yu’s words
just now.
A moment later, when Shen Jie swaggered off the stage with mock paper in hand, He Zhao
whispered, “Got it. I’ll watch myself.”
After Class 3 had finished the dance and left the stage, the heat over Xie Yu’s body had also
dissipated. He was only wearing a single layer and felt a little cold.
When Old Tang arrived, he had brought their school jackets with him, and put a little label
on each jacket, indicating whose it was. Now he called someone to go around and pass them
their jackets.
The boy carrying the pile of clothes now bent down. “Ah, pass these out. Everyone take
theirs. The names are written on the labels.”
“Pass it down,” Xu Jing said as she checked the labels. She turned and said, “This is Zhao-
ge’s.”
Liu Cunhao caught it and handed it to Luo Wenqiang.
Luo Wenqiang patted Xie Yu’s shoulder. Before Xie Yu could say thank you, He Zhao said,
“I’m not cold. You wear it first.”
He Zhao really wasn’t worried about the cold. Xie Yu, on the other hand… He Zhao had
accidentally touched him just now and found that his hands were cold.
Xie Yu saw Luo Wenqiang’s expression twist.
“……” Xie Yu put He Zhao’s uniform jacket on. It was a size too big and was loose on him,
and the jacket sleeves reached the backs of his hands. Luo Wenqiang was looking at him
oddly, so he turned and asked, “Is something the matter?”
Luo Wenqiang hurriedly waved. “No, no, no, no, nothing.”
“Gym rep, your clothes.” Xu Qingqing found her jacket, then tossed Luo Wenqiang’s over.
“Catch.”
Liu Cunhao stepped to the side and Xu Qingqing nearly hit him. “Qing-ge, can you learn
from Jingjing? Look how gentle she is. You, on the other hand, are you trying to kill
someone?”
Xu Qingqing threw another one.
The last performance ended, then the emcees gave a long closing speech. The school
principal went on stage. “Today is a special day for Liyang Erzhong, and a special day for all
you students here today…”
Xie Yu glanced at the time. Even if he went back now, he wouldn’t make it to evening self-
study.
He Zhao’s school jacket smelled of detergent, and something else Xie Yu couldn’t name, but
it was the same presence that always permeated the air when He Zhao was near. Without
needing to look back, Xie Yu would know it was him.
“Hao-zi, we’re leaving.” The school principal’s speech was concise and they didn’t have to
wait too long. The audience started filing out of the hall, the people in the back leaving first.
Soon, more than half the audience had left. He Zhao picked up his uniform and got up,
helping his half-dozing little friend up on the way. “Qing-ge, how are you all going home?
Shall Old Xie and I accompany you all to the bus stop?”
Xu Qingqing said, “No need to worry. My dad’s coming to get me. Are you going straight
back to the dorm? Remember to do your English homework. The teacher lectured me
yesterday because of your worksheets. Are you sure a human did those?”
He Zhao smiled and skipped replying completely. He patted Luo Wenqiang’s shoulder.
“Let’s go. What are you thinking about?”
Luo Wenqiang had been in a daze for a while.
He hadn’t recovered since leaving the stage after the performance.
He had been in a hurry to get off stage and had wanted to hurry the other two to go with
him, but when he turned, he had glimpsed something not quite right.
…Maybe he had seen wrong.
Uncertainty fermented in his heart.
Luo Wenqiang was forthright and did not like holding things in. When he, Liu Cunhao and
Wan Da had reached the multi-purpose building, he couldn’t help asking, “When you two
walked off stage just now, did you see something… like a dream?”
Wan Da was calm. “Actually, when we were walking off stage and you stopped in the
middle, I stopped with you.”
Liu Cunhao said, “Da-zi¹ stopped, so I stopped too.”
Luo Wenqiang: “……”
“I really wanted to tell them that although it’s dark in the hall, we can still see what’s in a
three-step radius around us,” they said, squatting by the road next to the classroom
building. “Could they be a bit more considerate?”
Translation notes:
[1] Da-zi: He’s referring to Wan Da.

Chapter 081 - They’re upstanding best bros!

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Actually, Erzhong’s students didn’t know the legendary ‘school tyrants’ all that well.
Although He Zhao and Xie Yu both had bad reputations, it was not often that one would
actually run into them. Most people had only heard a load of rumors and their strongest
impressions of the two big bros were from the blurry candid photos on the school forum.
Less than a week after the anniversary celebration, the threads on the school forum
concerning the two of them gained another dozen posts.
At first, the tone of the new posts had been quite normal. “School anniversary celebration
videos, HQ! The blood banks are empty.” “The two of them are way too good-looking.”
“Damn, just look at Xie Yu’s waist.”
As the posts went on, they sounded more and more like CP posts.
During lunch break, the Coolest Guy Group in the Universe put their heads together and
carefully scrolled through the school forum.
“Hao-zi, look at this one.” Luo Wenqiang scrolled downward on his phone screen and
quietly read aloud, “Remember the red string on He Zhao’s wrist when he did the opening?
Look at 3:15. Surprise there for you.”
3:15 was the timestamp of He Zhao and Xie Yu high-fiving. A red string was showing on Xie
Yu’s wrist, too. Someone had magnified the image and it looked like the same bracelet.
Liu Cunhao now remembered the idiocy he had spewed before.
Bracelet charms to guarantee passing the exams?
……
Pass, my ass.
Liu Cunhao rubbed his forehead and steadied himself, then said, “Reply to the thread, now!
Tell them everyone in Class 2.3 has one of those bracelets and it’s nothing special. Don’t let
them read too much into it.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “This excuse of yours is really…”
Wan Da: “……”
That evening, they squatted outside the multi-purpose building and chatted for an hour.
They all thought this was unexpected, but within reason. They had joked before that if He
Zhao and Xie Yu kept being gay with each other then sooner or later something would
really happen, but none of them had expected things to happen so fast.
They were the first couple in Class 2.3 and their situation was rather special, at that.
Liu Cunhao and the others discussed it and decided unanimously that since He Zhao and
Xie Yu hadn’t said anything, they would pretend not to know about this for the time being
and also try to help them hide it.
Xie Yu had planned to sleep during lunch break, but he hadn’t shut his eyes for very long
before he opened them again. His gaze swept the front row, across the back of Luo
Wenqiang’s head, then landed on the corridor outside the window. He muttered, “Not
again.”
There were always several girls hanging around outside Class 3’s doorway. Now, the girls
numbered in the double digits and came during every break between class periods.
A few days ago, several very bold girls had held up their phones and taken candid photos.
Xie Yu had gone straight up to them and told them to delete the photos. He had said,
through the window, without any mercy at all: “Delete them.”
The girls were so scared they nearly dropped their phones on the ground.
“What’s the matter?” He Zhao was doodling on a piece of paper. Halfway through a
calculation, he put down his pen and turned to look at Xie Yu, reaching out to knock on his
side of the desk. “…Too noisy?”
Xie Yu thought, this idiot has probably still not noticed that among the mob of girls outside,
half came to see him.
Xie Yu, still lying down, blinked. “What practice problem is this?”
He Zhao pushed his draft over. Then he realized that Xie Yu probably wouldn’t understand
what he had been doodling and explained, “It’s the extension question Old Wu put on the
board this morning. I was bored, so I tried it out.”
Class 3 was a science-stream class, but based on their exam results it was probably best
that they secure their fundamentals first and score all the points they could there, before
attempting the more challenging questions.
Xie Yu leaned over, trying to recall the question, and could barely make out He Zhao’s work
on the paper.
“But I think, look at this…” He Zhao was about to say he had found a mistake in his work
and that there was a simpler way to calculate it, but someone picked that moment to walk
noisily in through the back door, footsteps drawing closer, so He Zhao changed the subject.
“…This skill doesn’t have a high attack, but it’s good for co-op. It’s very important to use it
properly. You should practice the movements more.”
Xie Yu: “……”
The two students walked past them, talking and laughing, and accidentally knocked against
the edge of their desk as they passed. They did not notice anything amiss about the two big
bros seriously discussing video games in the back row. “Sorry, Zhao-ge.”
He Zhao replied calmly, “No problem.”
Xie Yu, still lying on his desk, waited for them to leave, then couldn’t hold back his laughter
any more. Half his face was buried in the crook of his arm and he couldn’t stop laughing.
“Are you sick?”
“Are you done laughing?” He Zhao said. “It isn’t very nice to mock your boyfriend.”
He Zhao’s knack for hiding his true abilities had been honed so deeply it was engraved in
his very bones.
And He Zhao had hung out with Lei Jun and the others for a while, so he understood, better
than anyone, the ins and outs of how bad students passed their days.
Xie Yu sometimes still forgot that the person next to him was ‘Question King,’ someone who
could think up three solutions to a long-answer question in ten minutes.
He Zhao, too, thought that he had done quite well, smoothly putting on an act just now. He
looked down and laughed to himself, then reached out for the scratch paper he had handed
over. The moment he touched it, Xie Yu’s hand closed over his.
Xie Yu was still in the same position and only his eyes were visible. But there was no longer
a smile in his eyes. His fingers rested on the scratch paper that had been scribbled onto
until it looked like a ghost-summoning talisman and asked, “Then when will I no longer
need to mock my boyfriend?”
He Zhao had to think for a while before realizing what Xie Yu meant.
“What were you thinking?” He Zhao smiled. “I’ve thought about it… if I were to suddenly
shoot up to first place in the year, to say nothing of Old Tang, the study rep will faint on the
spot.”
Xie Yu let go.
He Zhao took back the scratch paper, folded it twice, and stuffed it into his math textbook.
He had faked it for so long—from the day he started high school—and he couldn’t just drop
the role so quickly.
Most likely, someone would think he had been bodysnatched and he would never be able to
explain himself. Someone might drag him to the hospital for a checkup to see if something
was wrong with him.
Xie Yu, listening to He Zhao’s explanation, thought that it did sound like something He Zhao
would do.
He had even made a detailed plan to turn his situation around. It was so detailed, it even
planned for improving twenty class placements during the end-of-term exams.
“And I want to keep getting punished with you,” He Zhao looked into Xie Yu’s eyes and said.
“I’m worried you’ll get bored playing phone games alone. Twenty places seems like a bit
much… ah, how about just two goddamn places.”
As He Zhao kept talking, he struck out the zero at the end of his plan and made the number
a single ‘2.’
Xie Yu kicked him lightly and couldn’t help laughing. “Two places? How long are you going
to spend improving?”
He Zhao had delivered his speech so naturally that Xie Yu had forgotten, for a moment, that
every time he had been punished with standing in the corridor, it had been because of He
Zhao.
Who was accompanying whom here?
Then He Zhao suddenly called out, “Old Xie.”
Xie Yu glanced at him.
“Do you recall the idiotic game I was playing before?”
Xie Yu said, “You’ve played more than one idiotic game. Which one?”
He Zhao choked and had to pause for a while before saying, “Treating her nicely in the way
I want to… might not be what she wants.” Although sometimes love does mean offering up
everything one can think of, and everything one has to give.
Stubborn and wishful thinking.
Xie Yu leaned back and said nothing.
Lunch break was ending and someone banged on their table. “Ah—next period is gym, isn’t
it? Our happy gym class?”
The end-of-term tests were drawing closer and the gym class periods had mostly been
taken over by other teachers. No one had any hope, but today they hadn’t yet heard news
that a teacher had commandeered the gym period. So hope flared again in their hearts.
“Gym rep, do we still have our gym class period?”
Luo Wenqiang, who was usually sensitive to the words ‘gym class,’ didn’t raise his head
until someone called him for the second time. “Yes, we do, we do.”
“Speaking of gym class, that sure was some fight.” Wan Da grew enthusiastic and sat with
his leg up on the chair as he said, “Originally, the English teacher took the class, but Old
Tang fought for it and they nearly started quarrelling in the office. Old Tang won in the end,
but he actually wants us to go to gym class. The English teacher nearly expired from anger.”
The fight had been intense and Wan Da had come back to class specifically to invite them
over to listen.
Xie Yu was reluctant to tag along. “Take care. I won’t see you off.”
Wan Da said, “It’s really exciting. You definitely wouldn’t have expected Old Tang to be that
bossy.”
“Let’s go.” Eventually, He Zhao pulled him up. “Let’s go listen.”
From the doorway they could hear the English teacher saying, “I haven’t finished my
lecture for this chapter! And there are some homework problems I have to go over with
them today!”
Old Tang said, “Youngsters need exercise. A healthy body is the foundation for studying
well.”
There were five or six classes occupying the courtyard. After running two laps around the
quad, they could do whatever they liked.
The gym teacher had a toothpick in his mouth and squatted by the finish line waiting for
them. He was bored with nothing to do, so he twisted the stopwatch in his hand. “If you
need to get equipment, go and look for the gym rep.”
The gym teacher paused, then continued, “Xue Xisheng, your English vocabulary book is
sticking out of your pocket. Can you show me a little respect? How about this. Come over
later and I’ll play two rounds of badminton with you.”
Everyone else, hearing this, started laughing.
He Zhao laughed, too. Then he bent close to Xie Yu’s ear and said, “The study rep really isn’t
human.”
After dispersing, only the study rep wore a sour face. Everyone else was so happy they
could have jumped for joy, especially Luo Wenqiang, who retrieved equipment for the
others and then dragged Liu Cunhao and the others onto the basketball court for a game.
Luo Wenqiang said on the way, “There’s an extra ball. Anyone want it?”
There weren’t many people on the court and it looked deserted. Xie Yu, interested for once,
rolled up his sleeves and motioned to Luo Wenqiang. “Toss it over.”
Luo Wenqiang, a little surprised, took two steps and tossed the ball over.
Just then He Zhao walked over from the convenience store, holding a bottle of water. He
had only taken two sips from it and had not yet put the cap back on. Seeing Xie Yu take the
ball, he smiled. “Little friend, a match?”
As He Zhao spoke, he re-capped the bottle and tossed it aside.
They went a few rounds, one attacking, one defending, without much structure.
Xie Yu’s movements were all clean and elegant. He carried the ball past his opponent, the
free throw line, and landed the basket… he didn’t dither at all. It was very exciting.
Eventually, both of them shed their jackets. He Zhao only wore a light sweater inside.
Halfway through the game, he didn’t catch Xie Yu’s pass, instead catching Xie Yu’s waist and
leaning close to say something.
Then Xie Yu turned and threw the ball out of court.
Luo Wenqiang was doing warm-ups to the side and really couldn’t bring himself to look at
them.
He was halfway through a leg stretch when he heard a girl shouting not far away. “They’re
really compatible. My god.”
“Bracelets, see them? The same style, even.”
Wan Da elbowed Luo Wenqiang. “Are we going or not?”
Luo Wenqiang turned and asked Liu Cunhao, “Going, Hao-zi?”
The two girls did not have gym this class period. Class 2.3’s class schedule had been put up
on the school forum several days ago and closely analyzed. If someone wanted to run into
them, they just had to come to the quad at this time and walk around.
But before the girls could look through the metal wiring again, they saw three guys walk
out of the court and towards them.
The muscular one in front held a basketball. The three guys surrounded them.
Liu Cunhao coughed and took the lead. “Girls, girls, you can eat what you want but you can’t
just say things like that.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “Our classmates are best bros! Upstanding best bros!”
Wan Da said, “Do you know what ‘best bros’ means?”

Chapter 082 - What shall we bet?

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Xie Yu tossed the ball backward to He Zhao, then the two swapped positions.
He Zhao dribbled the ball for a while, glimpsing the onlookers outside the court. The
weather was hot and Luo Wenqiang only wore a sleeveless gym shirt, his arm muscles
showing.
He Zhao did a double take. “They are?”
Xie Yu pulled down the zip of his jacket and watched He Zhao distractedly dribble. He was
in no mood to worry about ‘them’ and said, frowning, “Be serious.”
“No, what are they doing surrounding those two girls…” Before He Zhao could finish, he
saw the two girls squeeze past Wan Da hand in hand.
They looked shocked, and ran so fast they could have been sprinting in the 100m event at
the sports meet. They dashed into the classroom building like they were fleeing something.
……
He Zhao didn’t understand what was going on and he couldn’t figure out how this might
have happened or how it had ended.
Luo Wenqiang and the others, who had been personally involved, didn’t understand either.
Wan Da stood frozen to the spot, scratching the back of his head. “Why did they run?”
Liu Cunhao reflected on the previous events. “We were okay when we talked to them. We
were gentle and polite and we weren’t fierce.”
Luo Wenqiang felt very tired and walked back to the basketball court carrying the ball. He
really couldn’t figure out girls’ hearts. He said, “The issue is whether or not they
understood what we said… remember, upright and honest best bros! Upright!”
There were just three or four scattered groups of people on the court.
Class 3 occupied most of the court and Class 4 next door had to walk further in as a result.
Class 4 had split into two teams and looked like they were going to have a friendly match. A
proper one, following the rules. Someone had even hung a whistle around their neck.
He Zhao looked away and prepared to go a few rounds with Xie Yu properly.
But before he could throw the ball, he saw a ball fly diagonally across the court in Luo
Wenqiang’s direction with no warning.
Luo Wenqiang had good reflexes. He stepped to the side and the ball flew past his face like
a sharp wind. It cut close, but landed hard on the steel netting behind him.
Thud.
The ball landed hard on the court floor and bounced several times.
“Sorry.” A boy from Class 4 was standing about two meters from them. His hair was buzzed
short and when he spoke his smile didn’t reach his eyes. He spread his hands innocently
and said, “Hand slipped.”
Then he ran over to the steel netting, bent down, picked up the ball, raised it high above his
head, and tossed it back into the court. “Brothers, catch!”
The group went wild.
Buzzcut-who-didn’t-smile-sincerely had not left a good first impression on Xie Yu. This was
the so-called ‘not seeing eye-to-eye.’ Luo Wenqiang had been minding his own business
playing ball but had been interrupted for the second time by someone whose ‘hand
slipped.’ Now Xie Yu stopped and asked, “Who is that? Does he know how to play ball or
not? Is something wrong with his hands or is something wrong with his head?”
The moment Xie Yu finished, another thud sounded behind him.
Then came Luo Wenqiang’s raised voice. “What is wrong with you?”
Even the best-tempered person couldn’t bear being interrupted this many times.
“It’s like this.” That guy smiled and pointed to the basketball hoop Luo Wenqiang was using
before finally revealing his intentions. “We usually use this hoop. We’re used to it.”
Class 4 was not having gym class right now and they had never run into them before. This
was probably a last-minute switch in classes.
And now they even treated the basketball court like their own home.
Luo Wenqiang was shocked by how shameless this person was and momentarily couldn’t
come up with a rebuttal. Then he saw a ball smash into that guy’s back with a thud.
The guy cursed and glanced back. He saw the legendary Big Bro of the West standing two
meters from him, expression blank.
“Sorry,” Xie Yu said. “Hand slipped.”
The guy from Class 4 was a classic case of a ‘bully scared of people stronger than him.’
He was well aware of Xie Yu’s reputation—and not only Xie Yu’s, but also that of someone
else leaning against the basketball hoop who looked languid and hadn’t said anything but
clearly carried a warning in his eyes.
When that guy had walked over just now, he saw that Xie Yu and He Zhao had separated
from the class to play basketball on their own and looked like they weren’t much of friends.
Although he was unhappy, he didn’t dare say anything. He swallowed his anger, bent down,
and picked up the ball. When he stood back up, he was smiling again. He lightly bounced
the ball over. “Your ball.”
Xie Yu was the harder ass, in the end.
Liu Cunhao signaled to Xie Yu, Formidable.
With the two big bros around, both classes played their separate matches until the end of
the class period without further conflict.
After class, when Luo Wenqiang was collecting the gym equipment, Wan Da finally couldn’t
hold it back any longer. “Just now Yu-ge was unbelievably cool. That Liang Hui from Class
4…”
Xie Yu, who was helping with the balls, lifted one eyebrow. “Liang Hui?”
Wan Da said, “The one whose hand slipped.”
Liang Hui was rather well known in the school.
But his reputation was slightly different from ‘school tyrant.’ He only did things in the
shadows. When he was done playing his tricks, he would never admit to them when
confronted.
Privately, everyone in the year was well aware what kind of person he was.
The equipment room was deserted. Xie Yu put the balls back in the crate, then heard Wan
Da continue to gossip. “Gym rep, you keep looking forward to the basketball tournament,
right? Mad Dog said it mightn’t happen this year, because of him.”
“Wait a minute.” At Wan Da’s reminder, He Zhao now remembered and cut him off. “It’s
that damn bastard.”
Wan Da, shocked by the words ‘damn bastard,’ said, “…Zhao-ge, I’ve never heard you cuss
out someone that harshly before.”
He Zhao said, “I’m polite. I have manners and I’m as civilized as you are. I don’t curse at
people often.”
In their first year, the basketball tournament had ended in chaos.
Liang Hui’s whole team played dirty the whole way through. He Zhao had joined the
tournament with some other guys from his class, but before they had even stepped onto the
court for their first match, the people sitting on the sidelines were already getting a
headache. “What’s up with that? You call this playing a match?”
Eventually, He Zhao didn’t even bother setting foot on the court.
He had only seen Liang Hui once and hadn’t formed a solid impression of him, or even
learned his name.
Because Old Tang had fought for a gym class period for them during literature class that
afternoon, the whole class supported him. It was like the class was being observed by a
school official. “Sir, I know this question! I can answer!”
“I can recite this passage!”
“Me!”
Old Tang even grew embarrassed. “I’m… really not used to you all being like this.”
“No need to worry, no need to worry. Sir, we’re always this enthusiastic in class.”
“All right, now remember.” Old Tang shook his head, smiled, and said, “There are two
weeks left until the end-of-term exams. Don’t take it too hard and remember to revise. It’s
important to go over the questions you got wrong for all your subjects. Look over them a
few times…”
The end-of-term exams drew closer.
Even during regular school days, no one had much free time. There were just two or three
gym class periods a week, which Old Tang had to argue back and forth with all the subject
teachers in order to snatch back for them. Those teachers couldn’t beat Old Tang in getting
class periods, but they didn’t just give up, either, and piled more and more homework on
Class 3’s students.
Just for math class alone there were two mock papers. Counting all the subjects together,
the homework made a thick stack.
Xie Yu showered, crossed the hallway, pushed open He Zhao’s door, and went in. He Zhao
had already gone through the thick stack of homework until only a single math paper was
left.
He Zhao did problems quickly. For most of them, he just ticked them off and circled his
choice. For the longer problems, he was even less attentive. He did a small calculation on
the side and circled an answer messily in the scribbles.
Xie Yu had brought a pen with him. He towelled his hair with one hand, holding on to the
black gel pen in the other. He tossed the pen onto He Zhao’s desk and said, as if in a bad
mood, “Which set?”
He Zhao stopped and leaned back in his chair, the chair moving with him. He turned and
looked at him. “Mock paper A, second-to-last question.”
Xie Yu walked over and glanced down at the question.
He had been showering when He Zhao called him, asking him if he had done his math
homework and saying there was a rather interesting question.
Xie Yu, still dripping water, had stepped onto the bathroom tile with his bare feet. He
wasn’t sure why, either. “That’s it?”
He Zhao could hear the sound of running water on the other end, but before he could ask,
he heard his little friend say, “I’m showering. Don’t bother me about nothing.”
Xie Yu had come over right after his shower and he was cold, radiating a chill all over.
He Zhao, looking at him, couldn’t hold back any longer. He put his hands over Xie Yu’s,
holding the half-damp towel in place, and started awkwardly towelling his hair for him.
“……” Xie Yu was distracted by what He Zhao was doing and stared at the question for half a
minute without absorbing it.
Old Wu had put a star in front of this question, saying they could look at it if they had time,
and that it was fine if they couldn’t solve it. The important thing was to get a sense of that
type of question.
“Shall we bet?” He Zhao touched Xie Yu’s hair through the fabric of the towel and when he
drew closer, his nose was filled with Xie Yu’s scent. “Five minutes.”
Xie Yu asked, “What shall we bet?”
Five minutes to solve a problem.
As for what the wager was, neither of them thought any longer. Compete first, decide later.
Xie Yu sat right on He Zhao’s bed and tore out a piece of scratch paper.
The night was as quiet and beautiful as water.
The windows were half-open and wind slipped through the cracks.
Xie Yu was dressed lightly. He wore a loose sweater, and one could look through his sleeve
holes and see his wrists with prominent bones.
He Zhao handed over the sweater draped over the back of the chair and remembered the
last time they had competed by doing questions. “I’ll give you a minute’s head start?”
“……” Xie Yu glanced up and said, “You really like showing off.”
The digits on the phone timer jumped and jumped.
Time passed, one minute and one second at a time.
This question was novel, but not too difficult, and the key was to break out of the usual
problem-solving pathways. Five minutes was too short and when the timer stopped,
neither of them had come up with their final answer.
But He Zhao was good at mental arithmetic and when Xie Yu was on his last solution step,
he was two steps ahead.
“Little friend.” He Zhao threw down his pen and turned to look at him. “If you dare to bet,
then dare to lose.”
Xie Yu’s head was bowed and he was still writing. He calculated the final answer, then said,
“What were we betting on?”
“Let me think.” Many thoughts passed through He Zhao’s mind, but he couldn’t bear to
torment Xie Yu too much. “Call me ‘ge.’ Call me ‘ge’ and I’ll let you go.”

Chapter 083 - Just try taking off your jacket again next time we play
basketball.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Winter was well underway. It didn’t snow often in A City, but the damp and chilly air still
pierced through his clothes.
Xie Yu put down his pen. He still wore the jacket He Zhao had passed to him over his
shoulders. He smiled faintly and said, “That’s all you want?”
Then, before He Zhao could reply, Xie Yu called him ‘ge’ without further thought.
Xie Yu had caught a light cold recently. After playing basketball and working up a sweat, he
had stripped down to his thin undershirt and run about in the wind for half the class
period. Now his voice was slightly hoarse and carried a hint of careless apathy.
But He Zhao was mesmerized by the simple, light word.
He buried half his face in his hand, leaned back in his chair, and sighed quietly, “Who’s
punishing who here, really?”
It was getting late. Xie Yu presed at his temple, then got up and started to leave. But before
he could take two steps, He Zhao tightly caught hold of his wrist from behind, and Xie Yu
heard him say, “Don’t go.”
He Zhao repeated, “Don’t go back tonight.”
Xie Yu stopped walking, letting He Zhao catch hold of him, and didn’t struggle to get free. “I
call you ‘ge’ and you’ll let me go. Which idiot said that, again?”
He Zhao said, “Yeah, which idiot?”

The brightly lit dorm building now had all its lights off. The security guard walked back and
forth downstairs, flashlight in hand, its light breaking through the darkness of night.
Outside the window, the light flashed by from time to time.
The single bed was too narrow. Xie Yu took off his sweater and was skin to skin with He
Zhao when he lay down.
He uncomfortably moved his leg, which was flush against He Zhao’s through the fabric. His
foot met He Zhao’s and He Zhao gave a hiss of pain, then warned in a low voice, “Don’t
move around.”
Xie Yu opened his eyes and turned to look at him.
They occasionally spent the night in each other’s dorm rooms.
At lights-out they would say they needed to go, and then not move, never leaving even if
they wanted to.
Erzhong’s dorm rooms were very well managed. A student need only put in an application
if they wanted to swap dorm rooms, and the procedures would be completed within three
days. But Xie Yu and He Zhao’s situation was different.
Before this, they had to worry about the pile of extracurricular study materials and mock
papers they kept hidden. If one of them really moved in with the other, would they need to
get up in the middle of the night to do practice questions in secret? Now, they no longer had
this worry and had thought about switching dorm rooms again.
But when Mad Dog received the application, he was so angry his head could have ballooned
to twice its size. He rapped on his office desk and said, “The two of you, what are you
planning? Are you going to play video games into the middle of the night? I’ve seen more
than my share of your kind of tricks, I’m telling you now.”
He Zhao tried to explain himself. “Actually, we’re going to study properly…”
Mad Dog threw the application straight into the trash can. “Forget that nonsense. Don’t
even think about it. There’s no room for discussion. Go on, get back to class.”
Xie Yu, having slept squashed in a single bed all night, was sore all over when he woke up
the next morning to Mad Dog’s announcement. He was supremely frustrated and nearly
kicked He Zhao off the bed.
There was a lot of homework. Not long after the school gates opened, Wan Da and the
others had already gotten to class and exchanged homework assignments while gobbling
breakfast.
Wan Da was halfway through copying an assignment when his sharp ears caught wind of
someone pushing open the door. He glanced up and let out a sigh of relief, then he did a
double take. Still with half a dough stick in his mouth, he said, “Good morning, Yu-ge…
what’s the matter, back pain?”
Xie Yu was in a bad mood and was still a little dizzy. He walked straight to the back row.
“No.”
“Ah, don’t turn the page.” Wan Da glanced back down and found that Luo Wenqiang had
turned a page of Liu Cunhao’s math exercise book. “I’m not done copying, wait a minute.”
The two continued copying homework for a while without further incident. Wan Da,
transcribing attentively, didn’t even look up when he reached for more breakfast. After a
beat, Luo Wenqiang finally couldn’t take it any more. “Can you stop eating my buns?”
Wan Da swallowed the bite in his mouth. “I thought something seemed amiss. I didn’t buy
beef mince buns…”
He Zhao held a paper cup and was getting water at the back of the classroom. When he
heard this, he couldn’t hold back a laugh.
As he laughed, he remembered the strange scene from gym class the previous day. He
asked, “What were you doing with those two girls yesterday?”
Wan Da paused mid-chew.
Luo Wenqiang was halfway through copying an answer. He stopped and met Wan Da’s eyes
for two seconds. “……”
Their class couple was now known throughout the school, and no matter how Class 3 tried
to make official announcements or explain things away, it was no use. After they had
stopped the two girls outside the basketball court, another thread popped up that day on
the class forum. Someone from Class 3 said they are upstanding best bros. Who on earth
believes that?
The comments below were nearly identical. Please, isn’t this a case of ‘there are no 300
taels of silver here?’¹
Nope, I don’t believe it.
Whoever believes it is an idiot.
There were too many responses to the thread and the three of them couldn’t even keep up
with replying.
He Zhao hadn’t paid much attention and was just asking off the top of his head, but now he
thought their reactions seemed amiss. After getting hot water, he pushed the paper cup
into Xie Yu’s hands and said, “You two… did something happen?”
Luo Wenqiang was so nervous he couldn’t even keep his tongue straight. “No, no, nothing
happened!”
Liu Cunhao was not there yet, so Wan Da had an idea and pushed all the blame onto their
class rep. “It’s… it’s like this. Hao-zi was on the student council, right? Someone came
looking for him for student council stuff.”
Luo Wenqiang let out a sigh of relief and gave Wan Da a thumbs-up on the down-low.
“Good idea.”
The explanation made sense, so He Zhao didn’t keep asking.
Xie Yu took the cup of hot water He Zhao handed over. His hands were half-hidden in his
sleeves, and his fingers poking out were faintly red from the cold. He held onto the cup and
asked, “What’s this for?”
“Pay more attention, all right?” He Zhao sighed. “You didn’t even realize that you got sick?
Just try taking off your jacket again next time we play basketball.”
Xie Yu really hadn’t been feeling well the last couple of days, but he hadn’t paid much
attention, thinking he had just caught a slight cold. A minor thing. Now that He Zhao had
spoken, he sat frozen, holding the cup.
In Zhou Dalei’s eyes, Xie Yu was someone who could accompany him to beat someone up
with a stick even while running a fever.
Once, when he was ill, Madam Gu had made Xie Yu eat fever medicine and then lie down to
sleep. Zhou Dalei wasn’t aware of the situation and came knocking. “Join a fight? The
bastard on the next street over…”
When they were done, Zhou Dalei had said excitedly, “Let’s go and have a drink at my
family’s stall.” Xie Yu had thrown down his wooden stick and declined with a hoarse voice.
Only then had Zhou Dalei noticed something was off. He had touched Xie Yu’s forehead:
burning hot.
It wasn’t a big deal.
But it was precisely the little details like this, which even Xie Yu himself didn’t notice, that
someone had taken very seriously to heart.
Xie Yu’s hand warmed little by little.
Even Xie Yu himself didn’t notice that, alongside the rising temperature, his frustration also
dissipated.
About half the class had arrived. Nearly everyone was copying homework, and the ones
who weren’t were comparing answers and correcting some of their own. Only when Xu
Qingqing came around to collect the worksheets did He Zhao start doing his homework.
“Zhao-ge, you didn’t do your paper again?” Xu Qingqing was not surprised at all. She stood
to the side with a stack of worksheets, watching him struggle. “Everyone else turns in a full
mock paper and you turn in half a mock paper. Might as well not turn it in at all, like Yu-
ge… Is that really what you’re going to write there? You don’t even have the first half of the
passage… how are you even doing these?”
Under He Zhao’s arm was half the mock final paper he had dug out of his desk with much
difficulty. Even if the entire reading comprehension passage had been printed on the
missing half that he had no idea of the whereabouts of, it wouldn’t affect his question-
answering abilities at all.
He Zhao said, “I do questions based on feel alone. If it feels right, that’s it.”
Xu Qingqing said, “…I just feel that you’re done for. The English teacher isn’t going to let
you off.”
As mock paper by mock paper went by, the weekend finally arrived.
Erzhong’s food street was filled with flying banners. The Valedictorian House was using the
end-of-term exams to host a ‘20% Storewide Discount’ event with great fanfare.
—Welcome the end of the semester! We heartily celebrate Erzhong’s final exams. During
exam week, 20% storewide discount!
“…One day I’ll wreck the Valedictorian House. They’re going too far.”
“Exams are painful, but after they’re over we can enjoy our vacation,” Liu Cunhao said,
directing the class as they moved chairs and tables. “Isn’t it more relaxing to think of it that
way?”
Xie Yu moved his chair and desk to the left. Before he could go very far with the chair, he
saw a girl in front having some difficulty moving things.
Her desk was full of books and study materials, so it was too heavy for her to push. She was
slow and blocked the way of the person behind her who was also trying to move.
He Zhao only had a single pen. He sat at the very end of the first column, spinning the pen in
his hand. He turned and saw his little friend help someone carry their desk and chair from
the beginning of the row to the end.
He looked the same as always. The weather was already chilly, but looking at Xie Yu, one
might feel that the surrounding temperature had dropped another few degrees.
The girl was worried Xie Yu was annoyed by her moving things too slowly.
“Here?” Xie Yu stopped and asked.
“Y-yes. Thank you.”
He Zhao, looking on from the side, couldn’t hold back a slight smile.
After sitting back down, Xie Yu noticed He Zhao staring at him and smiling about
something. He mouthed, “Are you goddamn sick?”
The end-of-term exams lasted three days.
The atmosphere of every examination hall was very tense, aside from the very last one.
The bad students’ gathering grounds still consisted of the same few faces. It was no use
cheating to get good grades; Mad Dog beat them back down here all the same. They all had
the air of grandmasters: strong psychological constitution, talking and laughing.
There were also some who worried a bit more about their grades. Before the invigilating
teachers arrived, they stood up and started rallying people, “This exam will determine if we
have a happy New Year.”
“Everyone, although we’re the last 30 students in the year, we can’t give up hope. If we all
strive hard, one question done is one question gained. If we put all our knowledge together,
and distribute it to every corner of this classroom…”
This group of students made cheating sound like they were spreading knowledge, but even
if they passed answers around, it was still the same old set of answers. Even if crib notes
flew all through the exam hall, they would all score about the same anyway.
Xie Yu glanced at He Zhao’s answer sheet. Over the last several exams, He Zhao had indeed
quietly scored a few more points on each subject test.

[Table of Contents]
Translation notes:
[1] 300 taels of silver: An idiom meaning ‘trying to keep something hidden but
inadvertently exposing it in the process.’ A man who had 300 taels of silver wanted to hide
them from robbers and evildoers, so he dug a pit and buried them. Still worried, he put up a
sign saying ‘There are no 300 taels of silver here.’ (Of course, they were stolen.)

Chapter 084 - Video chat, ge.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The end-of-term exams, on the whole, were more difficult than those of previous years. The
last few questions on the math paper, especially, were difficult to score points on, and there
was basically no knowledge to pool together in the bad students’ gathering grounds.
At first, the crib notes had flown through the classroom, but very quickly the drums quieted
and the flags were taken down.
While the invigilating teacher’s back was turned to look at the bookshelf in the corner,
someone took the opportunity to start a whispered conversation. “No more notes?”
“What notes? None of us know how to do it.”
“It’s too hard. I’ll remember the name of the person who created this paper! Wu Zheng!”
Complaints rang out from all directions. Xie Yu, pen in hand, had glanced over all the
questions, then folded up the scratch paper on which he had written down all the right
answers. Halfway through folding, he heard the idiot behind him agreeing with everyone
else. “It’s really difficult.”
He Zhao hadn’t done many questions and had put down his pen long ago. He sat in the
corner, languorous. He wasn’t wearing the school uniform. He propped up his chin on one
hand then said to the student next to him, “I don’t even understand the question.”
“……” He’s addicted to acting, isn’t he?
Xie Yu soundlessly leaned back, stuck his hand beneath He Zhao’s desk, then crooked his
finger and tapped on the bottom of the desk. “Quit acting so hard.”
Halfway through the exam, He Zhao had passed him a note on which were written two
arrogant words: Too easy.
As they kept passing notes, the topic came around to what they were going to do over
vacation.
Little friend, will you go home straight after this?
If not? Squeeze in your bed for another night?
That’s not out of the question.
Get out.
It was a cloudy day and the dark clouds overhead seemed to weigh down the air. This was
the last exam, and everyone was both tired and anxious.
Dean Jiang’s broadcast was staticky. Usually, hearing his voice made everyone’s head hurt
but now it soothed their anxiety. “Ten minutes to the end of the exam. Students, please take
note of the remaining time.”
The invigilating teacher walked over, humming under his breath and glancing outside the
window as he went.
This time it wasn’t Old Tang invigilating. This teacher was rather lax and closed one eye to
them passing answers during the exam. He probably thought that letting them copy
answers and talk was fine; there wasn’t much to copy among this lot, anyway.
Ten minutes passed quickly and the end-of-exam bell rang.
Xie Yu held his pen and looked at his exam paper in a daze. He had completed it so as to
score under the passing grade.
Over the past few days, Madam Gu had called him every night. She was both worried about
putting pressure on him but also couldn’t help asking him how revision was going.
“Mom doesn’t need you to get good grades. Just do your best. Or you’ll be the one who
regrets it in the future.”
The footsteps of the invigilating teacher rang in Xie Yu’s ears, but he also seemed to hear
Madam Gu sighing, then steadying herself and saying, “What do you want to eat after you’re
done with exams? Remember to take everything you need with you…”
He Zhao tapped him on the back and passed his exam paper forward. Only then did Xie Yu
put down his pen.
Xie Yu, still holding his own paper in his hand, felt an inexplicable frustration.
After a beat, he quietly let out a breath and passed the papers forward.
Now that exams were done, the class was in an uproar. Someone said while packing up
their things, “Zhao-ge, how do you feel?”
He Zhao didn’t have much to pack up. He stuck one hand in his pocket and half-sat on the
desk, waiting for his boyfriend. He smiled and said, “I feel pretty good. The test just now
went pretty well. Should be able to get twenty points.”
Hearing ‘twenty points’, the other guy was momentarily stunned speechless.
“……” Xie Yu tossed his scratch paper into the wastepaper basket, then lightly kicked the leg
of the desk He Zhao was sitting on. “Let’s go, twenty-points.”
Gu Xuelan insisted on coming to school to pick him up. Xie Yu took her call in the corner of
the stairwell—he had refused the call several times but it was no use. He had lifted a hand
and pressed at his temple, inadvertently speaking harshly, “You really don’t need to. I can
go back on my own. The bus station’s just a little bit away and I don’t have many things
with me.”
People came and went in the corridor.
Madam Gu’s voice was barely audible but Xie Yu still clearly heard the few seconds of
silence on the other end of the line.
Then Madam Gu said carefully, “I’ll park at the side of the school?”
Xie Yu’s hands tightened into fists. The words were on the tip of his tongue but his thoughts
went in a circle and ultimately turned into, “Got it.”
He didn’t hear Madam Gu talk like this very often.
Madam Gu got angry at the drop of a hat, especially when it came to matters concerning
Black Water Street and grades. Only when they both restrained themselves could they both
sit down and keep talking.
Erzhong’s school gates were jam-packed with cars, from this end of the street to nearly two
streets away.
Xie Yu dragged his luggage around for a while before finding Madam Gu’s car.
Xie Yu paused. It wasn’t the Bentley she usually drove. This car was black, a very common
make. In the long line of traffic it was indistinguishable from the other cars.
“You got a new car?”
Gu Xuelan took off her sunglasses and said, “This is Uncle Wang’s car. Did you bring
everything with you? Don’t leave anything behind…”
Xie Yu walked to the back of the car and put his things in the trunk.
The car remained in the traffic snarl at Erzhong’s gates for a long time before slowly
turning out.
The entire car ride was silent.
When they neared home, Gu Xuelan asked, “When are grades coming out? How do you
think you did?”
Xie Yu glanced down at his phone. On his text message app was a dull joke He Zhao had
sent him. Before Xie Yu could reply mocking the joke, He Zhao had followed it up with a
long string of ‘Ha’s.
“Just okay.” Xie Yu wasn’t sure how to explain it. “Still too early for grade sheets to be out.”
Gu Xuelan was resting one hand on her bag, and now she tightened her hand before letting
go somewhat helplessly.
Erzhong released grades quite late. The first few days of vacation, everyone went mad
playing and chatted in the class group till the early hours of the morning. When they were
done having fun, they finally calmed down and started wondering how on earth they had
done on the tests.
[Wan Da]: Hao-zi, you left the game? I said I’d wait for you through wind and rain in this
game, and you just abandoned me like that?
(note – Wan Da says it a bit more poetically it’s me who can’t english)
[Liu Cunhao]: You go on. My right eye has been twitching for the last couple days and I
think that when grades are out I probably won’t come online.
[Wan Da]: What do those two things have to do with each other?!
[Liu Cunhao]: From today on I have to put on a bit of a show in front of my parents and
pretend that I love to study… and then maybe they’ll be merciful when the time comes and
spare my life.
[Wan Da]: ……
[Luo Wenqiang]: Talented, Hao-zi.
[Liu Cunhao]: Thank you, thank you. Zhao-ge taught me.

Xie Yu had just showered and his hair was still wet as he listened to He Zhao talk about
what was going on in the class chat.
He Zhao still had a lollipop in his mouth and he smiled as he talked. He said, a little
languidly, “Hao-zi came over and asked me how I survived my parents all these years. I
bullshitted a bit and he actually believed it… He hasn’t logged into that MMO in a few days,
even when I ask him to.”
Xie Yu put his phone on speaker mode and tossed it to the side of his bed so he could put on
his clothes.
The heat was on so Xie Yu didn’t feel cold even though his feet were bare. He had pulled the
shirt half on, one hand on the hem, but before he could pull it down all the way, He Zhao
heard the rustling on the other end of the line. He asked, “Little friend, what are you doing?”
Xie Yu said, “Changing clothes.”
Xie Yu finished putting his clothes on, then noticed He Zhao’s end of the call had gone silent.
He bent closer to look at his screen. The call had not cut off, and the timer at the bottom
was still ticking. So he tentatively said, “Ge?”
They had not seen each other in nearly a week. Just hearing his voice alone, He Zhao
already couldn’t stand it and nearly hung up. He said helplessly, “You’re doing that on
purpose?”
Xie Yu could tell by his voice. The corner of his lips quirked: his smile was unexpectedly
bright. “Do you want to see? Video chat, ge.”
He Zhao cursed.
After a while, He Zhao steeled himself and swiped, sending a video call invitation.
He Zhao half-lay on his bed in his room, wearing only a thin sweater, the collar open and
loose, watching him with faux calm. “Yeah, I’m looking. Take off the top first or the
bottom?”
He Zhao couldn’t keep up his facade of calm for very long, seeing Xie Yu catch hold of the
hem of his shirt and pull it upward, bit by bit, along the line of his waist. Xie Yu’s frame was
slender and masculine, and his wrist still had the red string wrapped around it. Although
the lighting on Xie Yu’s side was bad, the image on the screen still fell straight into He
Zhao’s eyes.
Xie Yu teased a little bit and then couldn’t go any further, thinking: this is a little too much.
He was about to let go when He Zhao cut off the video feed.
The phone screen was now showing the chat again.
Fuck.
You win.
I’m going to shower.
Xie Yu tossed his phone aside and lay down on his bed, ignoring his wet hair.
While he was eating dinner with Zhong Jie downstairs just now, Zhong Jie had—
intentionally or not—led the conversation round to the end-of-term exams. The word
‘grades’ had been mentioned so often that Madam Gu really couldn’t listen any further and
said, to end the conversation, “Grades aren’t even out yet… let’s eat.”
Zhong Jie, the idiot. Even though he had done an extra semester of school, his intelligence
hadn’t changed and he said in a chilly voice, “If you ask me… we don’t need to wait for
grades to be released. It’s the same anyway.”
Xie Yu thought as he ate, Don’t quibble with idiots.
But a different thought also surfaced: But do beat idiots up until they can’t say another
word.
As Xie Yu continued down this line of thought, he picked up his phone and looked at his text
messages with He Zhao for a while. Then he opened the class chat.
The class group chat had discussed grades for a long time. Unexpectedly, Old Tang,
worrying for their psychological health during the break, had actually sent over a soft copy
of the grade sheet he had made a few days earlier.
[Old Tang]: [/Image]
Groans erupted in the class chat. They had only mentioned it offhand but Old Tang had
really given them the grade sheet to look at. None of them wanted to look.
[Xu Jing]: Teach, can you take it back?
[Luo Wenqiang]: About that, we… don’t really want to know our grades so badly…
[Liu Cunhao]: ToT, I thought I might get to live another two days.
The most attention-grabbing name on the grade sheet was not Xu Qingqing who scored
highest in the year in English, or Xue Xisheng who topped the class. It was a certain
grandpa who said he’d easily score 20 points.
He Zhao had said 20 points, but across all subjects he had gotten an average score of more
than 50. Everyone in the class chat was more excited than if they themselves had gotten
good grades.
[Liu Cunhao]: Zhao-ge, this is really a huge improvement!
[Xu Qingqing]: This is so touching I actually want to cry.
[Wan Da]: Quick, get in the game and I’ll throw you some grenades to celebrate!
[Luo Wenqiang]: Zhao-ge actually got a 49 on this math test! So high!
The group stayed excited for a long time and mentioned He Zhao several times, but He Zhao
remained silent throughout.
[Liu Cunhao]: @HeZhao, Zhao-ge? Where is he?
Then the whole class watched with wide eyes as a certain 10,000-year lurker, who made
the whole chat go silent when he appeared, sent a four-word text.
[Xie Yu]: He’s in the shower.

Chapter 085 - I’m not that sort of person.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Xie Yu’s ability to silence a crowd was first-rate. Ever since he had sent that surprisingly
chilly smiley face, no one but He Zhao could continue conversing with him when he joined
the class chat.
The chat instantly went silent. A few minutes went by without anyone saying anything.
[Liu Cunhao]: ……
[Wan Da]: ……
[Luo Wenqiang]: ……
Only Xu Jing didn’t understand why her classmates, who had been chatting happily all this
time, suddenly quieted down. She asked, Yu-ge, how do you know?
Xie Yu had not thought too much about it when he typed the reply. Seeing them so excited
about grades, he had relaxed a little and replied out of politeness. After he had sent it, he
too realized something seemed amiss.
“……”
Xie Yu lifted a hand to hide his face and cursed quietly to himself.
Wan Da was done chatting and about to go back to his online game match, but when Xie
Yu’s reply appeared, his hand slipped and he exited the game.
He stared at Xu Jing’s response and internally screamed, Of course he knows!
They might even have been showering together!
The two of them… the two of… could they be more self-aware?! They’re being far too
obvious.
After a long silence, Liu Cunhao reacted first and Luo Wenqiang followed quickly after.
[Liu Cunhao]: Because they’re best bros.
[Luo Wenqiang]: That’s right. I know Hao-zi’s shower habits, too. On average, once every
two days, ten minutes long, usually between 8 and 9 p.m. at night.
[Xie Yu]: ……
[Wan Da]: …You’re really something.
[Xu Jing]: ⊙0⊙。
Having successfully explored the topic of ‘showering,’ the conversation now very stiffly
returned to ‘end-of-term exam grades.’ By the time He Zhao finished showering and
returned, Class 3 was already discussing how to celebrate.
[He Zhao]: Celebrate what?
Xie Yu looked down at his phone as he typed. Although he found this reason for celebration
quite strange, he replied, Celebrating you scoring 49 points in math.
[Liu Cunhao]: Rounding up, that’s 50 points. Zhao-ge, you’re something. This is a new
beginning in your life.
[He Zhao]: …If you want me to treat everyone to a meal, just say so.
[Liu Cunhao]: You understand me!
[Liu Cunhao]: I hadn’t even begun hinting and you got it.
He Zhao getting ‘good grades’ was an excuse. Class 3 wanted to go out and have fun—that
was the real reason. Since vacation had begun, they had all grown sick of staying at home
and missed the lively atmosphere of their classroom.
So the few of them picked a time—the day after tomorrow—and planned to meet.
Xie Yu had no plans for the next couple of days and had no objection to the time the group
decided on.
When Xie Yu told Madam Gu he was going out, she was organizing things in the storage
room.
Gu Xuelan wore a white wool sweater. She had just come out of the kitchen, so she still
wore an apron around her waist. She stood on tiptoe looking through a basket. “What is it?”
Xie Yu said, “I’m going out. I won’t be back for dinner.”
“Where are you going?” Gu Xuelan took out a photo album from the basket, about to put it
aside, then turned to look at him. “I told you to read more. Have you read anything these
couple of days? I don’t know what you’re doing in your bedroom all day…”
The storage room was full of old things.
Three years ago, when they moved here from Black Water Street, they had many things
which they could no longer use but that they couldn’t bear to throw away, which were all
put into this storage room. Xie Yu stared at the old photo album in Madam Gu’s hands and
remembered that when they had first moved here, he often came to this storage room.
He couldn’t get used to it. He couldn’t get used to this place at all.
Zhong Jie, a sharp look in his eyes, had yelled at him, “Get out. This is my house.” Xie Yu had
gone here and there and ended up in this storage room. He sat on the floor, back to the
door, and stared at the white cloth covering the things in the room.
Sometimes, Xie Yu would go through the old things. All sorts of things, from an exam paper
Dalei had asked him to forge his mother’s signature on, to the ‘Record of school life
together’ Da Mei had given him before he had left.
—Boss Xie, wishing you happiness every day!
Xie Yu paused, then said, “Class gathering.”
Gu Xuelan had always supported class activities like this one. She couldn’t wait for Xie Yu to
go out and talk to people more often. It beat staying at home all day, doing who knows
what.
She asked which classmates of his would be there, then reminded him again to mind his
safety. “Don’t stay out too late and get along with your classmates. If you don’t see eye to
eye, calm down and think about it. You’re growing up now and you need to solve problems
with more maturity. Don’t keep…”
Xie Yu stuck his hands in his pockets and said, “All right.”
Madam Gu could tell he wasn’t paying attention. She sighed and didn’t go on.
Gu Xuelan had come in looking for something. She remembered a checkbook on which was
a bank account number. She had not found the checkbook despite looking through the
cabinets for a long time. On the other hand, she had found a photo album from Xie Yu’s
childhood.
After Xie Yu left, she glanced down and flipped open the photo album. The first photo was
one of Xie Yu right after he was born.
A wrinkled little wad lying in a crib.
In the lower right corner of the photograph was neatly written in black ink, March 14, 2
a.m.
Gu Xuelan stared at it for a while. She forgot that she still had soup brewing in the kitchen.
She flipped page after page and went through the whole photo album.
She finished looking through the album and was putting it back when she knocked against
a hard cardboard box somewhere underneath.
The box contained Xie Yu’s junior high textbooks. The words ‘Xie Yu’ written on the cover
were written quite beautifully, and there were several exam papers stuck inside the books.
Gu Xuelan looked at them in a daze and didn’t even hear when the maid knocked on the
door calling for her.
Xie Yu’s grades had been good before. But the junior high on Black Water Street was not a
good school. Everyone in Black Water Street went to vocational school right out of junior
high and got tattooed, started smoking and drinking, and dyeing their hair. It was the
natural flow of things.
There weren’t many students in the school who worked hard. When Gu Xuelan went to the
school gates to pick Xe Yu up, she watched him walk out of school alongside a bunch of kids
who didn’t even carry school bags and instead clasped cigarettes between their fingers.
She kept thinking, I have to take him away from here quickly and give him a better living
situation…
Gu Xuelan’s gaze seemed to pass right through the textbooks as she reminisced about that
time.
After standing dazed for a while, she sighed, put the documents back in order and put them
back.
Xie Yu walked out of the train station. He had walked for a while, but couldn’t quite recall
which direction to go, so he pulled out his phone to look for a map. Then he saw the text He
Zhao had sent him.
Where are you?
Southlake Road.
He Zhao replied very quickly. I’ll come get you.
When Class 3 was deciding on a meeting location, they had pulled up a map of A City and
gotten everyone who wanted to come to point out where they lived. Then they drew a
bunch of messy lines and picked a spot close to everyone’s house, and decided that would
be it.
Right here, brothers! This place called Entertainment Street. None of us have been there
and we don’t know if it’s any fun…
He Zhao had arrived early. He chatted with Liu Cunhao and the others at the meeting spot
for a while, glancing down at his phone from time to time. When he received the reply he
was waiting for, he pulled the lollipop from his mouth, tossed it in the trash, and got up.
“I’m going to get Old Xie.”
Liu Cunhao and the others were on their phones, looking for something interesting. The
few of them were huddled in a little coffee shop for warmth. When they heard this, they
didn’t even look up. “All right, all right, go get your Old Xie.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “Remember to come back and pay the bill for us.”
Wan Da said, “Don’t forget about your bros now you have your Old Xie.”
The words ‘your Old Xie’ were clearly very effective. He Zhao smiled as he pushed the door
open. “Am I that sort of person?”
Perhaps everyone was preparing for New Year celebrations—there were a lot of people on
this street. The clothing stores on either side of the street played music, all different genres.
Someone called out, “20 percent storewide discount!”
Xie Yu hadn’t gotten very far before he saw He Zhao walk up to him from the other
direction.
He Zhao was wearing a coat and cut a striking figure. Xie Yu could pick him out at once in
the crowd.
He Zhao smiled slightly. When his gaze met Xie Yu’s, his eyes seemed to light. He opened his
arms and said, “Hug?”
There were many people around and this guy was being conspicuous. People passing by
looked in their direction, intentionally or otherwise.
Xie Yu couldn’t bring himself to do something so pointless. He would have to bang his head
on a door before he would willingly hug him in this situation. Instead, he kicked in He
Zhao’s direction. “Stay away from me.”
Xie Yu had not actually kicked him; he had left a bit of space. After going through the
motions, he passed by his boyfriend and mercilessly kept walking.
He Zhao followed him, smiling. “Little friend, you’re so cruel. Doesn’t your conscience
hurt?”
In the end, his cruel little friend took another two steps before slowing down. He reached
behind him and silently took He Zhao’s hand.
Xie Yu’s hand was cool and felt like a block of ice to He Zhao’s touch. But the chill still made
the back of He Zhao’s hand burn up, little by little.
People came and went in the street, their footsteps hurried.
Near New Year’s, all the shops in the street were brightly lit and colorfully decorated, and
couplets decorated the glass shopfronts. A sea of red met their eyes. And because the
temperature was low, all the passersby’s breaths misted in front of their faces.
They walked, holding hands, for a little while.
As they walked, Xie Yu noticed He Zhao slowing down. Xie Yu, still unaware of his intent,
instead asked, “Have Hao-zi and the others all arrived?”
“They got there long ago.” He Zhao’s hand tightened on his. “When I got there, the gym rep
was already on his fourth coffee refill.”
Luo Wenqiang had a big appetite and when he got the chance to eat, he would make sure to
leave even more room to show off his eating talents. Xie Yu said, unsure whether to laugh
or cry, “Did he not eat yesterday again?”
He Zhao replied, “I think this time around he didn’t just not eat, he didn’t drink water,
either.”
“……”
The coffee shop was on the opposite side of the street. He Zhao suddenly stopped walking.
Xie Yu was about to ask, ‘What?’ when he heard his boyfriend say very seriously, “…Let’s
forget about them.”

When Luo Wenqiang ordered his fifth cup of coffee, he was still unaware that Zhao-ge, who
had said self-righteously, “I’m not that sort of person,” was really going to leave them
behind.
Xu Qingqing and the other girls arrived late, and they couldn’t all fit around the table, so
they had to go to a different table. They put their heads together and talked. “I think this is
good. Looks fun.”
Luo Wenqiang was still enjoying his coffee, saying to Liu Cunhao, “This coffee is very good.
Fragrant and rich… but why is Zhao-ge not back yet? The bill’s due.”

Chapter 086 - Can I kiss you?

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Luo Wenqiang sat by the window, his coffee finished. He saw two familiar figures walk over
from the other side of the street.
Xie Yu walked in front. A dark gray scarf was wound around his neck and only half his face
was visible.
They held hands casually, fingers interlocked. Xie Yu stopped walking, looked down, and
indicated for He Zhao to let go.
“Are you done?”
No. He wasn’t done.
He Zhao was completely unaware of where they currently were, his mind occupied with
thoughts of the person next to him. Only when he heard Xie Yu speak did he notice the
words ‘Coffee House’ in front of him. He coughed lightly and said, “This street is too damn
short.”
Inside the Coffee House.
Someone went through the news feed on their phone and, finding nothing interesting,
looked up and around, saying, “Where’s Zhao-ge? He said he went to get Yu-ge but he still
isn’t…”
Luo Wenqiang’s large frame shook, worried that the speaker would see something he
shouldn’t. He held down his classmate’s head, pulling him back by force, and cast about for
something to say. “Fu Pei, look, the weather’s real nice today. Let’s sit down and chat about
our life goals.”
“Luo Wenqiang, are you sick?!”
Ten people had shown up for the gathering. During winter vacation, everyone had their
own plans, and some had even left the city. As they ate, they planned to go to a nearby KTV
to sing karaoke, each harboring hopes of becoming the next God of Song when they made
the booking.
Xie Yu rarely came to such noisy places. The moment he walked into the lobby, he heard
wailing and shouting from all around. One of the KTV lounges must not have shut their
door properly. A middle-aged man was singing at the top of his lungs, his voice hoarse as if
from smoking.
This KTV lounge had reasonable prices and did fairly good business.
The cashier at the front desk put in their information and glanced up at the group of
students, estimating they were about high school age. The girls had done their hair up in
simple ponytails and wore thick down outerwear. The boys were clumped together, talking
loudly.
He Zhao draped himself on Xie Yu’s shoulder from behind, as if wanting to pull him into his
arms. He leaned closer and asked, “Old Xie, do a song later?”
“Song, my ass.”
“Come on, it’s just singing.”
He Zhao didn’t think any more of it and mentally went over a list of recently popular songs.
He picked one which was so popular everyone had probably heard of it. “‘I Love You,’ do
you know this one? It was popular lately.”
Still holding his position, Xie Yu leaned his head backward slightly, his lips brushing He
Zhao’s ear carelessly as he spoke. He asked, “What song?”
He Zhao was about to repeat himself, but then his mind caught up and he thought, He’s
definitely doing it on purpose. He Zhao lowered his head, just enough to bury his face in Xie
Yu’s neck and whispered, “…Little friend, you’re very naughty.”
Class 3’s singing ability had already been showcased to its full extent on the bus during the
autumn class trip. But they had been singing into a megaphone then and couldn’t show off
nearly as well as they could when singing into a mic. Luo Wenqiang excitedly picked a song,
but before he could sing more than a few lines, Xu Qingqing covered her ears and cursed,
“…Fuck it.”
Liu Cunhao was about to pick a song, but when he heard her curse, he said in consolation,
“Qing-ge, calm down.”
Wan Da said, “We men have to be strong. This pain is nothing. Qing-ge, be strong.”
Xu Qingqing threw a pillow at him.
Xie Yu got up and took off his jacket, placing it to one side. Luo Wenqiang glanced their way
as he sang. The words ‘Zhao-ge, praise me’ were just about written on his face. He smiled,
sat back down, and nudged He Zhao with his forearm. “No praise?”
“No praise. The way you sung it…” He Zhao said. “…I can’t praise it.”
He Zhao bent down and picked up a can of beer from the table. He slid his index finger
through the ring in the tab and easily opened it one-handed, then said, “People should be
honest with each other.”
Luo Wenqiang shut his eyes, and was still immersed in his singing. He swayed to the beat
and finally let out a magnificent “Woah~~~!”
Liu Cunhao, sitting to the side, had endured long enough. “Guys, what other songs did the
gym rep pick? I’ll delete them.”
On-screen, a marquee scrolled by. Next Song.
“Next song, Roller Skates.” Xie Yu was getting a headache from listening and considered
turning around and pressing the mute button on the wall controller. “One of his.”
He Zhao said, “Love Till I Die is his, too. Delete them all. Don’t leave a single one for him.”
Liu Cunhao motioned, ‘No problem,’ then crouched down and sneaked past Xu Qingqing.
The lighting in the lounge was low. The lights from the screen sometimes lit up the room
and sometimes left it dark.
Someone else tried out the other lighting settings. The lounge went dark for a couple
moments before lighting up again. Then it lit up completely with star shapes which shone
on the ceiling and the walls, twirling and twirling.
Xie Yu glanced at He Zhao. The light moved in their direction, over He Zhao’s face, and then
went dark again.
He Zhao tilted his head back and gulped down the beer. Noticing the gaze of the person
next to him, he turned to look at him, too.
Xie Yu was a little thirsty, but there was nothing in the lounge to drink aside from beer. This
lot had completely forgotten what had happened last time they got drunk and called for
another carton of beer now that they had the chance. So Xie Yu beckoned to He Zhao,
indicating for him to hand a can over.
Xie Yu’s outstretched hand was right in front of him, slender and coldly elegant, a chill
circulating at his fingertips. He Zhao stared for a while and didn’t hand the can over. As if
possessed, he slid the ring tab he had not yet tossed away onto Xie Yu’s ring finger.
The cold ring tab slid on, little by little, and stuck at the joint of Xie Yu’s finger.
Only then did He Zhao pass the beer can to Xie Yu.
Xie Yu froze, then retracted his hand. “What is this?”
Their surroundings were noisy and Xie Yu didn’t clearly hear how He Zhao replied, but by
the shapes his lips made Xie Yu could guess: Can I kiss you?
Luo Wenqiang had powerful lungs and his voice rang out through the speakers, several
decibels louder than the accompanying music, piercing right into everyone’s ears. Xie Yu
finished drinking his half a can of beer, then suddenly felt that it was a little warm in the
lounge.
“What happened to my songs?” Luo Wenqiang finished one song and quietly waited for the
introduction to Roller Skates to start up, but all he got was the song I Love You. Confused,
he asked, “Who put this on? Who cut in line?”
He Zhao stood up and took the other microphone. “Mine, mine. Sorry about that.”
A little accident could not stop Luo Wenqiang. Having warmed up his voice, he was now in
peak condition. He could keep singing for the next three hours. He felt a little floaty, to the
point he forgot to think things through. He patted his chest and said, “I know this song, too.
Zhao-ge, let’s duet this love song!”
He Zhao nearly said, “Who goddamn wants to duet with you?”
As Luo Wenqiang patted his chest, the microphone in his hand was suddenly snatched
away by someone, leaving his hand empty.
They had decided on karaoke by voting, but no one had expected to hear Xie Yu sing. Based
on this grandpa’s nature, just sitting and suffering with them was already stretching his
limits.
Xu Qingqing was halfway through opening a bag of snacks. She pinched it between her
fingers and pulled it open. When she saw Xie Yu take the mic, she lost her grip and the
potato chips nearly fell onto the floor.
Xie Yu had already walked past Liu Cunhao and stopped in front of the monitor. His voice
echoed from the microphone. “Which part is yours?”
The melodies of the two parts were the same, only the lyrics were different.
He Zhao said, “Either is fine.’
A chorus of ‘Whoa—’s surrounded them.
The lounge grew noisy.
They were excited about the novelty, right up until Xie Yu sang the first line.
His voice was cold, but it wasn’t incompatible with a gentle and passionate love song like
this one.
After Xie Yu sang the opening lines, it was He Zhao’s turn. He held onto the mic and nearly
missed the accompaniment, missing two of the opening beats.
……
Xu Qingqing tapped Xu Jing. “Yu-ge’s so gentle… is it just my imagination?”
Xu Jing watched them sing the ending lines together, their voices overlapping. It was dark
in the lounge and she could only see their tall, slender silhouettes.
After the song was over, everyone yelled, “Encore,” but neither of the participants reacted.
“You all keep singing,” He Zhao said. “Whose song is next?”
Liu Cunhao had picked the next song and Luo Wenqiang insisted on dueting with him on
pain of death. Liu Cunhao hurriedly snatched the microphone. “Hold him down! Luo
Wenqiang, if you don’t duet with me, we can still stay good friends.”
Two people were holding Luo Wenqiang down, one on his left and one on his right. He said
sorrowfully, “…You all are too much.”
He Zhao sat for a while, then couldn’t sit still. He touched Xie Yu’s hand and was about to
ask him if he wanted to go out when he noticed his phone vibrate.
It was noisy in the lounge and He Zhao did not hear the notification chime. By the time he
noticed, the chime had already stopped and an unknown number was displayed on his
screen.
A missed call.
He Zhao glanced at the unfamiliar string of numbers. He was about to toss his phone to the
side when it vibrated again, followed by the arrival of a text message.
Zhao-ge, it’s Xiao Lei.
He Zhao stood up and dialed the number while pulling open the door and walking out.
After walking a little distance, he heard the dial tone from the other end of the line. He
leaned back against the wall, staring at the brick-colored carpet on the ground.
The call quickly connected.
Erlei still spoke with an innocent tone. It was noisy on his end and He Zhao heard the
announcement of a high-speed rail about checking tickets. “Zhao-ge, are you still in A City?
We haven’t seen each other in a long time. I just got here today to take care of some things…
Are you free soon? Let’s get together?”
He Zhao subconsciously reached for his pocket, then remembered that he had quit smoking
for so long that he didn’t even keep lollipops around any more.
He Zhao was talking, but his mind was not fully present. He wasn’t even sure what he had
just said. He seemed to have asked Erlei how he was and what he was doing. Erlei replied
that he was working at his cousin’s small business and had come to A City on business.
Erlei wheeled his luggage into the elevator. He looked up and glanced around at the several
exits, then noticed that A City had grown foreign to him. “I’ll be here for about half a month.
Jun-ge…”
Before he could finish, He Zhao cut him off.
“I’m sorry.”
He Zhao repeated, “…I’m sorry.”

Chapter 087 - Were you that X?

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Fang Xiaolei took the escalator up and stood at the exit. He had forgotten, for a moment,
which direction to go.
Several years had passed and he had forgotten most of the things he couldn’t let go of
which had stuck in his heart at the time.
When his family and his homeroom teacher had advised him to quit school, instead of being
angry, he had felt lost. After the twists and turns of the situation had calmed, he found that
he had lost his sense of direction.
Although he had not gotten good grades in school and was not interested in studying, at
least everyone there had had a common goal.
Now, suddenly out of his comfort zone, he couldn’t get used to it.
The crowd thronged through the train station exit.
He stood in the flow of human traffic and suddenly remembered the first time he had met
He Zhao.
At the time, they had only nodded to each other. School had only been in session a few days
and they hadn’t even memorized each other’s names yet.
Not long after junior high started, He Zhao, as the class rep, had knocked on the door to
turn in some forms. He was tall and good-looking, and even though Fang Xiaolei was
currently standing there as punishment, he could not help taking a second look.
Fang Xiaolei and Lei Jun were the two problem students the teachers had the most trouble
with. Especially Lei Jun, who had been a troublemaker since starting junior high and had
joined a gang outside school. No matter what happened, they would suspect him first.
“I really didn’t beat him up.” Lei Jun stood to the side, frowning, repeating this for the third
time. “Why would I beat him up for no reason? If I beat someone up, I’d admit it. I was with
Erlei at an internet cafe then…”
His homeroom teacher banged on the table and said angrily, “—If it wasn’t you, then who
was it?”
“Sir.”
Fang Xiaolei watched He Zhao put the forms on the desk and say, “It’s not very good to say
things like that, surely? I was around last Friday too. The internet cafe around the corner
from school.”
“What were you at an internet cafe for?” The homeroom teacher swallowed and tried to
find an excuse for the top student. “To get studying materials?”
He Zhao replied truthfully, “Video games.”
“……”
Fang Xiaolei wheeled his luggage forward another two steps. There were too many things
he wanted to say, but all he said was, “Zhao-ge, let’s find a time to meet up. There are some
things I want to tell you.”
After going out and placing the call, He Zhao returned and kept drinking. He reached for a
third can but Xie Yu caught hold of the can in his hand.
“Just try and drink again.”
He Zhao obediently let go.
Xu Qingqing and the other girls had picked sweet songs with slow and light
accompaniments. Two or three such songs went by.
He Zhao steadied himself, then said, “Erlei is back.”
Xie Yu had guessed something was up, but he hadn’t expected it to be this. He said, “Mm,” to
indicate he was listening.
“He just called and asked to meet.” He Zhao raised a hand to scratch his head. “I…”
He still was not quite sure how to face this.
Even though he had been trying, all this time, to walk forward.
When he had asked Erlei how he was, he had been terrified of hearing ‘Not good.’
The song ended and the lounge was silent for the few seconds before the next song started
up.
Then He Zhao heard Xie Yu say to him, “Ge, don’t worry.”
Near evening, the sky got darker.
They had been singing for three whole hours. Thankfully, beer had a low alcohol content
and it wasn’t easy to get drunk with just that, so the drunken scene from their previous
gathering did not re-enact itself. When they were done singing, they packed up their things
and parted ways at the entrance to the KTV.
When Xie Yu got home, Zhong Jie and the others were eating dinner.
Madam Gu had cut some fruit and carried the plate out from the kitchen. She waved him to
the couch. “You’re back? Sit down and have some fruit.”
Xie Yu glanced at Zhong Jie and was worried he would explode after exchanging words.
“You all eat. I’m going upstairs.”
Xie Yu finished showering. The Black Water Street group ‘Don’t fight’ had more than a
hundred new messages, several of them mentioning him. He tapped in.
[Lei’s Mom]: @xy, we prepared a room for you. When you have time, come back for a few
days. Your Aunt Mei and Dalei miss you all the time.
[Barbecue Stall Prince – Lei]: When did you clean it? We have a spare room?
[Lei’s Mom]: Your room. I packed it up a little. When he comes you can sleep in the attic.
[Barbecue Stall Prince – Lei]: ……
[Barbecue Stall Prince – Lei]: You’re really my mom…
Lei’s mom had said she cleaned the room so he could stay a few days. However, Xie Yu
didn’t intend to really stay, he would just go for a meal.
The Zhong family spent a lot of money on New Year’s and held a little fireworks show of
their own. In contrast, Black Water Street’s New Year atmosphere was felt in the corners
and the cracks.
When Xie Yu got off the bus, several kids were playing in the alley. They had strikeable
fireworks¹ in their hands and pockets, and tossed them on the ground as they ran. After the
bang, they ran elsewhere.
It had snowed last night, but the snow on the roads had nearly all melted by now. Only
some snow still clung to the rooftops, small white patches Xie Yu could see from where he
stood.
In his recollection, the last time it had snowed in A City had been several years ago. Zhou
Dalei had dragged him out to make snowmen.
Xie Yu had been quite reluctant. “Are you a girl?”
“It’s snowing! I’ve never in my life seen it. Come on, let’s go make snowmen.”
In the end, Xie Yu squatted to the side, rolled a snowball, and threw it at Zhou Dalei’s head.
“Let’s do something else.”
On Black Water Street, the houses were tucked close together. Every household had hung
couplets on their window: Happy family. Luck and fortune. Black words on a red
background. When Xie Yu got to the familiar apartment building, Zhou Dalei was on a
ladder, putting up couplets for Aunt Mei. The words on either side were the same: Money
rolling in.
The horizontal banner read: Strike it rich.
Xie Yu stopped, amused. He took a few photos, then sent them to He Zhao.
He Zhao replied quickly.
“……”
Very well written.
Tell your mom Happy New Year and I hope she strikes it rich.
Xie Yu glanced down and replied, How are you
We’re meeting next weekend.
I’m fine. It’s good to meet up.
Zhou Dalei had spotted his Boss Xie approaching from afar. After putting up the couplets,
he climbed down the ladder. Inside the house, Aunt Mei was saying, “Later, don’t mention
anything about grades…”
All of them knew how Xie Yu had done in the recent exams.
Zhou Dalei was a little dazed.
Although Xie Yu had gotten good grades in Black Water Junior High, the schools here were
not good and the middle schools taught English at an elementary school level. A City was a
big city, after all, and it was understandable that he couldn’t manage the curriculum there
when he went.
“Did you hear?” Lei’s mom smacked him. “Your Aunt Mei is talking to you.”
Zhou Dalei said, “Ah… I heard, I heard, but…”
Zhou Dalei cut himself off halfway.
That… awful Question King something Tournament game. Since he had managed to
squeeze his way into the game lobby and received the title of Stubborn Scrap Metal, he had
thought about deleting the app. It was just taking up memory, anyway.
But there were several tedious steps to be completed before uninstalling, and the moment
he hit the delete button, a notification appeared telling him to reconsider and to not give up
on studying.
So he returned to the game lobby and kept loitering, and accidentally witnessed God X
doing practice questions.
He did them so fast it seemed almost inhuman. And his handwriting…
—Question King Tournament’s question-answering interface included a white scratchpad
next to the short-answer questions. After tapping in, one could scribble on the screen to do
some temporary calculations.
His handwriting looked very familiar.
Zhou Dalei now remembered his initial call to Boss Xie.
He wasn’t quite sure—maybe he was thinking too much—but something felt amiss to him.
When Xie Yu came upstairs, Aunt Mei’s house was already packed.
After dinner, they gathered around the mahjong table.
“You haven’t closed the stall for two days.”
“Business is good. All the shops have closed so everyone is coming to me. I’ll stay open
another two days,” Lei’s mom said, throwing out a tile. “Four-kong!”²
Xie Yu used to help out at the stall a lot. Seeing it was still early and he had nothing to do, he
tapped Zhou Dalei’s shoulder and said, “Still five o’clock?”
No response. Xie Yu repeated himself, then Zhou Dalei finally reacted. “Ah, no need—you
don’t have to do anything.”
Xie Yu asked, “What were you thinking about?”
Zhou Dalei thought, I’m thinking about how strange this world is.
There were many people at the barbecue stall. Winter on Black Water Street was cold, and
Dalei’s parents had set up a tent in an empty space near the street.
Although no one agreed to let Xie Yu help, he still went over to help take orders and serve
food. Zhou Dalei was serving the neighboring table. They were rattling off their orders very
quickly and Zhou Dalei couldn’t write them all down in time. “Wait, how many lamb kebabs
again?”
“Twenty.” Xie Yu pushed the order chit for Table 1 into Zhou Dalei’s hands, then said, “Half
a can of beer, one plate of fried rice…”
There were seven or eight items and Zhou Dalei wrote them all down, stunned. “How did
you know?”
“I heard them say it.”
Xie Yu had a good memory and could remember things after hearing or seeing them once.
Zhou Dalei gave both order chits to his mom, then leaned against the plastic door. His
smoking habit was acting up and he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. After
thinking, he said, “Mom, I remember Boss Xie’s grades used to be quite good.”
Lei’s mom took the chits, still busy. She had no time for idle chatter and replied, “I
remember you scored 100 on a math test in first grade.”
Zhou Dalei: “……”
The store was busiest in the evening and there were basically no customers after 9.p.m.
When the final table had finished their food, Xie Yu helped them pack up the stall and
dragged the plastic stools toward the storage room.
After working for a while, Xie Yu was tired. He placed the stools away then walked back,
saying, “Try to convince them. It’s nearly New Year’s. They should rest at home.”
In the street were several children setting off fireworks. The moment they lit them, light
exploded outward and the fireworks fizzled on the ground for several seconds.
Zhou Dalei was holding a storage box. He put it down, then stood still, several thoughts
running through his head. Eventually, he called out, “Boss Xie.”
Xie Yu didn’t look back. “Spit it out.”
“Were you that X?”
Zhou Dalei asked again. “In Question King Tournament. That… string of letters I don’t
remember. Was that you?”
Translation notes:
[1] Strikeable fireworks: These things. You strike them like matches, then toss them down,
and they make a bang. New Year’s celebratory toys for kids.
[2] Kong: 4 tiles of the same suit.
Chapter 088 - He’s taken.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Xie Yu’s first reaction was to say, “No,” but the words stuck in his throat.
Zhou Dalei had asked too seriously.
Xie Yu had known him for a long time. He usually had a smile on his face and didn’t take
things to heart. Xie Yu could count on one hand the number of times Zhou Dalei had been
serious. Once, when he was little, someone had snatched his precious toy. The most recent
incident was when Da Mei left; he had drunk several bottles of wine and sat at the entrance
to the alleyway, asking Xie Yu, “Will Da Mei come back?”
Xie Yu didn’t know if he would. Everyone has their own path to walk.
Xie Yu had looked at him, silently sighed, and said, “He will come back.”
During winter vacation, Zhou Dalei would come find him from time to time, and it always
happened to be when he was doing questions. He often sent texts in the middle of the night.
Are you asleep, Boss Xie? What are you doing?
No. Video games.
What game?
Xie Yu had not thought too much of it, but now that he thought back, something seemed
amiss.
The faint suspicion in Zhou Dalei’s heart had kept resurfacing. He took a few steps forward
and wiped his face of all expression. “Say something…”
Zhou Dalei did not continue because Xie Yu was silent for a few moments before cutting
him off.
“It’s me.”
Then Xie Yu asked, “How did you know?”
His words made flames of anger rush to Zhou Dalei’s head. He was mad at being lied to, and
for the moment he forgot to think about why his Boss Xie would do such a thing.
“How do I know—don’t you have any brains? I copied your homework for so many years!
Whether you write fast or slow or messy or neatly, even if you write with your left hand, I
can recognize your handwriting!”
Xie Yu had really never thought this would be his downfall.
“We’ve been bros for so many years and you lie to me like this?” Zhou Dalei cursed while
Xie Yu was dragging him into a corner by the collar. “When I asked you that time why your
grades had become like this, what did you say to me? There are always people who are
better? Life has its ups and downs? You’ve been bullshitting me this whole time!”
Zhou Dalei let it all out and was still unbelievably angry.
Xie Yu let him yell and didn’t retaliate. This was probably the best-tempered he had been all
his life. “Are you done? If you’re not, you can keep going.”
Zhou Dalei pulled out a pack of cigarettes, went to a corner, and began to smoke one. Xie Yu
glanced at the time and was about to leave, when Zhou Dalei pulled him back. He asked
quietly, “What were you thinking? Don’t go. Squat down and let’s chat properly.”
“Squat, my ass. If I don’t go now I’ll miss the bus.”
“Then we’ll chat while we go.” Zhou Dalei immediately obliged. “Walk slower.”
Zhou Dalei had thought of many possible scenarios but he had never imagined the real
reason.
The last bus left at 9 p.m. While they were waiting, Xie Yu summarized the situation. After
hearing everything, Zhou Dalei cursed up a storm and was even unsure what to say aside
from cursing. “That Zhong-dogshit-bastard…”
At first, he had been angry at Xie Yu. Now he was done being angry at Xie Yu and couldn’t
stop himself from being angry on Xie Yu’s behalf.
His hands trembled around the cigarette he was holding and his mind was full of the word
‘Fuck.’
In order to stop him from performing Black Water Street’s Master-level Cursing on the
spot, Xie Yu kicked him. “All right. The bus is here. Don’t hang around here—go back and
rest. Quick, go.”
The bus on the other end of the street drew closer, headlights shining directly onto them.
Xie Yu got on the bus. Two steps in, before the door could close, he put one hand on the
railing and leaned out. “If you don’t want to die, then don’t tell anyone. I’m serious. You’d
better think of a way to keep your mouth shut—”
Zhou Dalei wanted to keep his mouth shut, too. But he tossed and turned and didn’t go to
sleep for a long time.
Lei’s mom got up in the middle of the night and went to the living room to get a drink of
water. She was shocked half to death by her son, who was sitting upright on the sofa in the
pitch darkness.
Zhou Dalei had sat on the sofa for a long time. He flipped through the call log on his phone
and his finger stopped on Aunt Lan’s name. His mind was in disarray. He thought, Forget it,
but his hand slipped and he accidentally hit the call button. “……”
Winter vacation was a month long and Xie Yu had not written a single word of the pile of
homework they were given. He had put his name down and never touched them again.
Madam Gu had brought up the subject of a home tutor for him again. “Think about what
you’ve done all winter vacation.”
Xie Yu, who had gone downstairs to get some water, said, “I’ve done quite well. Eaten well
and slept well.”
Madam Gu said, “Don’t change the subject. What are you going to do, going on like that? Just
because I don’t force you now, you—”
Xie Yu had initially not wanted a home tutor because it was annoying enough having to
watch his grades in school. If he had a home tutor, he would have to keep an eye on even
more things and there would be more opportunities to slip up.
Madam Gu had said a lot, but his reply was the same. “Mom, I know what I’m doing.”
This time, Madam Gu did not reply angrily with ‘As if you know what you’re doing?’ as she
usually did.
Gu Xuelan sat on the sofa, the TV remote lying by her hand.
A soap opera was playing on TV, the audio emanating into the surrounding air. But Madam
Gu’s expression did not change at all. Her face was grim, and in her eyes were suspicion and
inquiry.
Madam Gu now recalled the strange telephone call she had gotten yesterday night.
After moving away from Black Water Street, the pace of her life had changed. She had
gradually grown distant from Xu Yanmei and the others, and aside from sending them well-
wishes via text message on New Year’s, she basically didn’t talk to them any more.
On the phone, Zhou Dalei’s speech had taken many twists and turns. First, he said that he
had dialed the wrong number on accident, then he had called her Aunt Lan, then stopped.
She was still a little dizzy from being awoken in the middle of the night and had not
understood what he was saying. She reached out to turn on a lamp, sat up, and asked,
“What’s the matter, Dalei?”
Zhou Dalei said, “Aunt Lan, did you ever think about Boss Xie’s grades…”
Gu Xuelan had clearly heard the word ‘grades,’ but then Zhou Dalei changed the subject
again and talked a load of nonsense. At the end, he said, “The moon is really round tonight.”
Gu Xuelan: “……”
“I saw how beautiful the moon is and thought about you, Aunt Lan.”
Gu Xuelan was getting on in years and even though she took care of herself, wrinkles had
already crept up around the corners of her eyes. She had several things on her mind
already, and the telephone call had bothered her so much she did not fall asleep for a long
time.
She tossed and turned. Before she fell asleep, the last image that surfaced before her eyes
was of Xie Yu as a young child, tossing a certificate onto the table.
What certificate was it?
She had been very busy at that time juggling multiple jobs.
“What are your plans? Tell me,” Gu Xuelan asked, calmly. “…What are your plans?”
Gu Xuelan was not sure what she was suspicious of, either. She had probably just not slept
well the last few nights. She rubbed her forehead, then waved dismissively. “All right. Go
upstairs and don’t keep getting in the way.”
Xie Yu gripped the glass in his hand tightly. He went upstairs and sat in front of his
computer for a long time. On the video on his screen, a foreign language professor was
explaining grammar and syntax, but he absorbed nothing.
“Little friend, what are you doing?”
Xie Yu received a call from He Zhao and only then did he come back to his senses. He drank
another two mouthfuls of water and made an indistinct noise in response.
He Zhao had just gotten out of a taxi. He stood at the window, paying the fare, then stuffed
the change into his pocket. “Drinking milk?”
“Water.”
He Zhao thought it was a pity his little friend was not, in fact, drinking milk.
“Think about something else, will you? Your thoughts are very dangerous.” Xie Yu put down
his cup and glanced at the date on the lower right hand corner. He Zhao’s appointment was
this weekend. “Did you meet him?”
“No, just got out of the car.”
He Zhao located the meeting place. He hadn’t needed to hunt for it. In junior high, the three
of them had often come to this shop, a noodle place close to school.
In his recollection, the shop was very small and old, and the walls were gray and oily from
the grease and smoke.
As junior high students, they had not had much pocket money. By the time school let out,
they were all starving. They often put their money together, two yuan from one person and
three from another, to buy a bowl of noodles to fill their stomachs.
“The lady boss still remembers me and gave me a free appetizer.” He Zhao picked an empty
seat and sat down, resting his arm on the table as he spoke. “I’ll bring you here next time.”
He Zhao spoke in a normal tone of voice, but for no real reason Xie Yu felt that the idiot’s
mind was probably in turmoil.
In reality, He Zhao really was a little unused to things.
The noodle shop had been renovated and there were both familiar dishes and new ones on
the menu. He Zhao stared at the words ‘Hot Sauce Noodles’ and quietly let out a breath,
then glanced up and out the window.
Xie Yu didn’t press the matter and just said to call him if anything happened.
Xie Yu was barefoot and had curled up in his chair in front of the computer. Before he hung
up, he added, “Don’t smoke.”
He Zhao said, “All right.”
Xie Yu distractedly finished watching the video. Before he went to sleep, he checked his
phone. The class group was a constant stream of updates. Xu Qingqing wanted to watch a
horror movie but didn’t dare watch it alone and looked to the class group chat for someone
to watch it with her. At the end, the class group chat was a stream of ‘Ahh!!!’
There was no news from He Zhao. Xie Yu thought about it, then turned his phone off silent
mode before he went to sleep.
The next call he received from He Zhao was at nearly midnight.
The Xie Yu from before would have performed a one-stop service: rejected the call, blocked
the number, and thrown his phone.
Xie Yu guessed He Zhao had probably gotten home. But when he picked up the phone, he
heard the faint sounds of cars honking on the other end. “Where are you?”
He Zhao did not answer.
Xie Yu asked for the third time, his patience running out, before hearing He Zhao say his
name.
His speech sounded slurred and he didn’t sound like he was in his right mind but when he
said Xie Yu’s name he said it seriously, drawing out the sounds.
“Xie Yu.”
He Zhao called his name several times, voice hoarse. The complicated emotions in his voice
intermingled with the ambient noise.
“Ge.” Xie Yu had lost all desire to sleep. He got up and turned off the air conditioning. The
chill seeped through the thin material of his clothes. “You’ve been drinking?”

He Zhao squatted by the roadside, face buried in his hands. Nothing was the matter. He had
just wanted to call Xie Yu to report in, but the moment he heard Xie Yu’s voice, the alcohol
went to his head and he couldn’t help… wanting to call out to him.
He Zhao had thought the matter would not go by so easily.
But when he had stood up, walked forward, and arrived in front of it, it had not been as
difficult as he had expected.
When they met, Erlei had sent a fist flying and then asked him, “All right? Do you feel better
now?”
That had not been a practice punch. He had used all his strength and He Zhao was struck
dazed for a second. He had put his back to the wall, then wiped his mouth and tasted blood.
Fang Xiaolei had not changed much from before. He had gained some weight and dressed
more maturely now. Compared to peers his own age, he did not have the air of a student.
— “Just forget about what happened before.”
— “Zhao-ge, the last time you came looking for me, I said it wasn’t your fault. I want to add
something to that now. I don’t blame you. I wanted to tell you that face to face.”
Erlei’s words echoed in his ears.
An indescribable weight laying on his chest seemed to lighten between one breath and the
next.
The feeling of vertigo came, then passed.
He Zhao watched traffic go by on the street. The headlights pierced through the night, so
bright they hurt his eyes.
“No,” He Zhao said, then got stuck. He blinked, his eyes slightly red. “Just a little.”
Your tongue is twisted in goddamn knots and you say ‘just a little.’
Xie Yu was so worried it was getting frustrating. While putting on his clothes, he asked,
“Where are you now?”
He Zhao was still near school.
Several hours ago, the three of them had met up. They had not said much but drank bottle
after bottle of beer.
Lei Jun had drunk the most.
He had not been directly involved in the incident. Erlei had left quickly and he had not been
able to clarify matters, so he had imagined the worst. He had grabbed He Zhao by the collar
and punched him, then held him down on the ground and beaten him up so badly the
school nearly called an ambulance. “Did you do it? Did you pin the blame—”
He Zhao had not explained and had not retaliated, and had even selfishly hoped Lei Jun
would hit him even harder.
Even harder.
Then Lei Jun stopped going to school and transferred to a trade school instead. It made no
difference whether he took the high school entrance exams, anyway. He had no desire to
know anything more about his ‘former good friend.’
The next time they had met was in the restaurant near Dian Ji.
Lei Jun had just been angry and had not thought about why this person was in Erzhong.
After going back, he had asked someone to look into it and found that not only the school,
but even the year did not match up.
Not only had he fallen behind one year, he was attending the most mediocre high school in
A City.
Erlei had not been able to hold his drink before, but in the past few years he had gotten a
lot of practice at business dinners, and finished a bottle in short order. “I’ve been busy and
forgot. I go overseas a lot… You haven’t met up with Zhao-ge at all, all these years?”
“We’ve met.” He Zhao also drank a lot. He leaned backward and put his empty beer bottle
on the table. “Several months ago we talked.”
Lei Jun said, “What the hell do you mean, talked? Fists talking to fists?”
By the end, the three of them were in a daze. They seemed to have returned to the old days.
Xie Yu wrote down the location. He was worried for He Zhao, still outdoors this late at night
after having drunk a lot. He picked up a jacket and put it on. He was out the door and on the
bus before he realized he had forgotten his phone.
He had left in too much of a hurry. While putting on his jacket, he had tossed his phone on
his bed, then left right after putting the jacket on.
He Zhao squatted by the roadside for a while and the alcohol-induced haze lightened a
little.
There weren’t many people on the street. A group wandered out of the restaurant across
the street, arms around each other’s shoulders, seemingly having had a lot to drink. They
looked young and there were several girls among them.
Even though night had fully fallen, the streetlights were lit and they could see the opposite
side of the street well. They nudged each other, “Eh, eh, eh, look at the guy across the
street.”
The boy was squatting, but they could tell he was probably tall. He had not even zipped up
his jacket. Although he was looking on the ground and they could not see his face, by his
figure and his bearing, he was probably extraordinary.
He Zhao had never expected that he would meet salespeople in the middle of the night.
What time was it?
He glanced up at the people in front of him. Before he could say, “I’m not buying anything,”
someone tugged at his collar from behind, pulling him up roughly.
“He’s taken.”
Xie Yu’s face was thunderous, annoyance written across his face. Seeing them frozen there,
he repeated gravely, “He’s taken.”

Chapter 089 - Show that idiot surnamed Zhong the huge gap between
you two.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“How much did you drink?”
“Five or six bottles?”
“…You can hold your liquor quite well.” Xie Yu frowned. He waited for the people to leave
before letting go. “I told you not to smoke, so you drank instead? Thinking outside the box?”
He Zhao looked at him and said nothing.
Xie Yu saw the bruise at the corner of his mouth and was about to say, “And you fought
somebody, too?” when He Zhao reached out and pulled him into a hug.
“Don’t move.” He Zhao pressed his forehead to the crook of Xie Yu’s neck and whispered, “I
won’t smoke. I just want to hold you for a while.”
The street was empty and silent, and the cold wind had mostly woken him from his
drunken haze. His little friend was wearing a puffy jacket, loose-fitting and thick, and it felt
soft under He Zhao’s hands. It was the complete opposite of the annoyed expression on his
face.
On both sides of the road, the streetlamps stretched into the horizon like pinpricks of
starlight that had shattered and dissolved into the night.
After a while, He Zhao asked, “Why did you come?”
Xie Yu said, “I came to claim my boyfriend’s corpse.”
He Zhao had recovered from his drunken haze, and now his bullshit flowed smoothly,
again. “Your boyfriend is so good at holding his liquor that another ten bottles wouldn’t be
a problem.”
“…You’re asking to get hit.”
He Zhao went on teasing for a while, then fell silent. He shut his eyes and only now did he
feel it sink in—it was over.
It was all over.
Was this finally an escape? He Zhao thought about it and decided it probably wasn’t.
But he gradually came to understand why his father had not stopped him, at the start. He
had left He Zhao to do as he wanted. He had watched He Zhao stuck to the spot, without a
plan, using the most extreme of methods to solve his problems.
Someone picking him up and him getting up on his own were two completely different
matters.
“Shall we go back?” The night was very cold, and if they kept standing here they might catch
a cold the next day. He Zhao let go and said, “We can’t get a cab here. Let’s go to the
intersection up ahead.”
Xie Yu hesitated for a second.
When he left the house, Madam Gu had already gone to bed and he had not told her he was
going out. It would be past midnight by the time he got home if he left now, and he wouldn’t
be able to explain himself easily.
He Zhao tilted his head and looked at him. “My place, then?”
He Zhao’s house was empty.
His dad had left several days ago. He was in the midst of a multi-country trip and had only
returned to rest for less than a week. He had looked at He Zhao’s end-of-term grades, said
nothing, tossed the grade sheet on the table, and invited He Zhao to play a game of chess.
“No matter what path you take and how you walk it,” Old He had said, his voice dropping
low on the last word. “I believe in you.”
Xie Yu napped in the cab and He Zhao woke him up when they reached their destination.
He Zhao got out, paid the fare, then circled around to the back seat and rested his hand on
the door. He couldn’t bear to wake Xie Yu. Eventually, he bent down and kissed the corner
of Xie Yu’s mouth, and said, “We’re here.”
He Zhao’s house was neat and tidy—the sort of neat where it didn’t feel lived-in. Aside from
a housekeeper who came once a week to tidy up, nobody came and went in this house.
Xie Yu sat on the sofa, eyes half-closed as he watched He Zhao tidy the guest room. After a
while, his patience had run dry. Without even wearing slippers, he stepped barefoot on the
ground and walked over, asking, “Which is your room?”
“……”
He Zhao had drunk a lot and was worried he couldn’t control himself. Never had he
imagined that his little friend would be even more daring. “You’re not worried I’ll take
advantage of you tonight?”
Xie Yu leaned against the doorframe and watched him, showing no trace of self-awareness
that he was a guest in this house. “I mean, you sleep in the guest room.”
Xie Yu had told He Zhao to sleep in the guest room, but he glanced at the time and saw it
was nearly 2 a.m. and didn’t make He Zhao spend even more time cleaning up the room.
It was so late at night he didn’t have the energy to think of anything else.
He Zhao took a quick shower. By the time he pulled the shower door open and walked out,
Xie Yu had already shut his eyes and fallen asleep. His hair covered half his face and his
breathing was light.
His little friend was lying on his bed, looking especially cute now that his usual dismissive
air was all tucked away.
He Zhao forced himself to look away and thought: the shower he had just taken was
pointless.
Xie Yu slept very lightly. The moment the running water from the bathroom shut off, he
moved a finger and subconsciously realized he had forgotten to do something.
…He had not sent Madam Gu a text telling her he was all right.
But then he thought: it was the middle of the night and the Zhong household was all asleep.
Likely, no one would notice.
Xie Yu had not made much noise when he left. But he had left in a hurry and A-Fang who
had gotten up to drink water had bumped into him.
The moment he set one foot out the door, several maids gathered behind him. A-Fang had
not seen his face clearly and thought it was Zhong Jie having a tantrum in the middle of the
night. “Eldest young master Zhong?”
“Surely not. The eldest young master hasn’t come back yet. It’s probably the second young
master. Ah yoh, going out at this hour—”
The Zhong household affairs were messy but Xie Yu had never gone out in the middle of the
night before. The maids all guessed that he had quarrelled with someone. “They were all
right at dinner. They quarrelled again?”
“Recently, Madam wanted to get Second Young Master a home tutor. Second Young Master
didn’t want to do it, right?”
“Second Young Master’s end-of-term grades…”
Several lights were on in the Zhong family’s living room. On redwood shelves all around the
living room stood antiques from various places.
The maids kept discussing it in low voices. As they were about to return to their rooms,
they suddenly noticed Gu Xuelan and jumped from fright.
Gu Xuelan wore a jacket around her shoulders and she looked tired. She stood at the base
of the stairs and tugged at the jacket, which was sliding downward. She asked, “What
happened?”
Gu Xuelan had not slept well over the last few nights. After hearing what had happened, she
suddenly felt a headache. She pressed at her temple with a hand and processed the
information for a while before saying, “All right. You all go and rest.”
Over the last few years, Xie Yu had done a lot of things to make her worry. But even though
he had a mind of his own now, he still was considerate of her when he talked or did things.
Even though he was frustrated when she kept asking him about things, he would always
inform her before he left the house.
This warm obedience, which showed itself subconsciously in the little things and was hard
to believe was true, sometimes made her imagine… that the person standing in front of her
was still the little Xie Yu who clung to her.
After returning to her room, Gu Xuelan could not sleep at all. Wild thoughts kept running
through her head. Suppressing her anger, she placed a call to Xie Yu, but even after dialing
several times, no one picked up.
The fiery ball of anger in her heart was quenched by the sound of, ‘The number you have
dialed is currently unavailable.’
“What’s the matter?” Zhong Guofei, still half-asleep, realized the space beside him was
empty. He opened his eyes and saw Gu Xuelan, dressed lightly, sitting on the side of the bed
staring at her phone. “…It’s late. Come to bed?”
Gu Xuelan lay on the bed for a while and still could not fall asleep. She got up quietly, and
without being quite aware where she was going, walked to Xie Yu’s room.
As she pushed open that bedroom door, even she was stunned by her own actions.
She never went through Xie Yu’s things.
Their living situation in Black Water Street wasn’t good and the locks on the drawers of the
second-hand desk might as well have not been there. One need only pull the drawer open
to see the diary placed inside. Even so, she had never considered reading it.
She had been educated since a young age to be calm and self-controlled about such matters.
But now—
Madam Gu thought to herself that she might do something out of line in order to
understand what Xie Yu was thinking.

Xie Yu’s room was very tidy. Gu Xuelan walked in and her glance swept over the desk and
chair, the computer, and finally landed on the slightly messy blankets on the bed.
Xie Yu’s phone was next to the bed.
Gu Xuelan hesitated. She reached out, then stopped.
Gu Xuelan tiredly sighed. She was about to retract her hand when the screen on the phone
suddenly lit up.
Boss Xie, I’ve thought about it a lot over the last few days. I think I have to tell your mom
about this. You can’t go on pretending like this. What are you going to do at the college
exams?
Zhou Dalei sat cross-legged on the sofa and sent a heartfelt text. Then, thinking he had not
yet finished saying his piece, glanced down at his phone screen and kept typing.
—-Lei-zai, who has always hated essay writing, has now written eight hundred goddamn
words to his best bro.
Even he was touched by his own gesture!
The last few days had been torturous for Zhou Dalei. With such a big secret weighing on his
heart, he couldn’t even concentrate on video games.
The day before yesterday, he had gone to Guang Mao to help Aunt Mei move things. He had
heard her complaining, “What happened to Xiao Yu’s grades? He even fell one place in the
rankings. The person who always scores last in the year should just stay where he is. Why
would he move up in the ranks…”
As Aunt Mei kept talking, Dalei almost lost his grip on the box of goods in his hands.
Zhou Dalei finished typing the message, then hit send.
You get good grades! Why would you hide it? Don’t hide shit! Show that idiot surnamed
Zhong the huge gap between you two! Show him what it means to get into Tsinghua or
Peking U with your eyes closed!
–
Xie Yu had no idea what had happened at home since his departure.
When he woke up that morning, He Zhao had pushed him down and had his way with him.
He had escaped a hangover but not morning wood. Xie Yu’s mind was completely blank and
after he climaxed, He Zhao bit down on his lips and asked, “You’ve had your fun so it’s my
turn, right? Use your thighs?”
Xie Yu suspected He Zhao had been planning to try this for a long time.
He Zhao wasn’t controlling his actions and Xie Yu’s eyes went red as he hissed in pain from
being bitten. He clutched onto the sheets under him and faintly tasted blood in his mouth.
As He Zhao reached downward with one hand, he whispered, “How are you going to
explain this to your mom? Have you thought about it?”
Xie Yu licked the wound at the corner of his mouth and said, “A fight.”
“A fight in bed?”
“……”
Xie Yu did not think any further about spending the night away from home. When he got
back to the Zhong household, before he could change his shoes, he saw that A-Fang’s
expression was not quite right.
A-Fang opened her mouth, about to say something, but in the end she only shook her head
and remained silent.
Xie Yu followed her gaze to the living room. Madam Gu sat on the sofa. It was close to noon,
but she still wore her nightgown from last night.
Madam Gu took care of herself. Even if she was not going out, she would not still be
wearing the previous night’s clothes around the house at midday.
Before Xie Yu could call out, “Mom,” Gu Xuelan had already stood up.
Gu Xuelan was very pale and her eyes were bloodshot. When she stood up she did so stiffly,
and could not even keep her balance without holding on to the back of the sofa. Xie Yu’s
gaze landed on the phone she gripped tightly. Although he did not know what had just
happened, his heart still suddenly skipped a beat.
The phone screen lit up.
In the notifications section were several previews of texts Zhou Dalei had sent.
Gu Xuelan asked him, her voice low and hoarse and angry, one word at a time, “What is
this? —Say something! What is this?”
Chapter 090 - Do you prefer Tsinghua or Peking U?
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Xie Yu’s mind rang, as though something had suddenly exploded.
All the blood in his body seemed to freeze, little by little.
He had set a passcode on his phone. Zhou Dalei’s texts, the notifications stacked together,
occupied half the lock screen. Even though the messages were not fully visible, the general
meaning could be discerned by piecing together what could be seen.
……
“Dalei, he…” Xie Yu’s fingers slowly curled into fists. Subconsciously, he had decided to go
on keeping his secret. “He’s joking. It’s nothing.”
Gu Xuelan had not slept all last night and had sat here from the middle of the night to
midday. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed. It seemed like a lot, but at the same
time, not. She had only watched the sky gradually grow lighter outside.
Xie Yu was about to tack on another, ‘Don’t think too much,’ when he heard Gu Xuelan ask,
“Then what is this about?”
Her throat was dry, and her tone was different from when she had begun this conversation.
She showed the sort of unnatural calm that came after violent waves of emotion. Her next
words stuck in her throat and she steadied herself for several seconds before continuing.
“—For how much longer were you going to lie to me?”
Seeing her reaction, Xie Yu surmised that Zhou Dalei had unthinkingly sold him out.
Just now, his thoughts had been in disarray and he had not considered this possibility. Zhou
Dalei was that sort of person. If one chased him down and asked him directly, he would
panic. He couldn’t hide anything.
In the face of Madam Gu’s questions, Xie Yu remained silent for a while and did not reply.
Zhou Dalei had not imagined that his text messages had blindly spilled the whole truth.
Last night, he had lazily sent the last of the texts, then tossed his phone down and gotten
ready for bed. Aunt Lan’s telephone call had nearly made him fall off the bed still entangled
in his blankets.
Before Gu Xuelan could say much, he had already told her everything, from things he was
supposed to say, to things he was not supposed to say.
“I haven’t known this for very long, either. Boss Xie told me not to tell, but holding it in is
painful.” Zhou Dalei opened a window for air and continued, “…Aunt Lan, he just wants you
to live better with the Zhongs. This way, one less person needs to deal with those terrible
things.”
The Zhong Corporation was a prominent family business in A City.
After Gu Xuelan married into the family, the pieced-together household was in an awkward
situation. The position of Madam Zhong was a hard one to fill and there was also Zhong Jie,
who took every chance he could to make trouble.
Xie Yu usually kept quiet and gave the impression of not caring.
Gu Xuelan had thought that he was still young and that she could deal with the pressure on
her own. But she had not expected that he was completely aware of how others looked at
them and talked about them.
Gu Xuelan’s hands trembled uncontrollably. She tried to lift her hand to tug at the jacket
over her shoulders, but she couldn’t use any strength at all.
Her mind went blank and weakness and vertigo overwhelmed her.
The last thing she remembered was Xie Yu’s panicked shout. “Mom—”
All around were the sound of footsteps passing.
After Gu Xuelan fainted, the Zhong household was in chaos.
The family doctor brought down the medicine box from the second floor, saying as he did
so, “It’s the old problem. I’ve told you before to watch out, so why were you so careless?
Remember to rest well, and don’t overwork yourself… take care of yourself.”
Xie Yu was still in a daze.
A-Fang saw the family doctor out. On her way back, she couldn’t hold it in any longer. She
stood in the doorway to the master bedroom and said, “Madam has been unwell for a while.
You live at school, so you might not know, but a few months ago she had to go to the
hospital… she didn’t sleep at all last night and sat downstairs waiting for you.”
A-Fang sighed. “No matter what happened, you can talk about it.”
Xie Yu sat by Madam Gu’s bed, the sounds of conversation from the first floor gradually
growing distant. He thought about nothing else but how much of a bastard he had been.
He paused, then lightly touched her hand.
When Gu Xuelan woke up, it was evening.
A-Fang was currently in the room tidying up. Seeing she had woken, A-Fang hurriedly said
to lift her spirits, “Second Young Master is in the kitchen brewing soup for you. He’s very
worried. I told him to go downstairs for dinner but he wouldn’t. If there’s something
between you, you can talk about it… He’s an understanding kid.”
Xie Yu busied himself in the kitchen.
While he was chopping ingredients, Zhou Dalei called. When the call connected, Zhou Dalei
clearly heard something crash on the other side.
Xie Yu’s hand lifted and the knife came down.
The knife made a thud as it landed on the chopping board.
Zhou Dalei swallowed. “…Boss, Boss Xie?”

Xie Yu said nothing and brought the knife down again.

Zhou Dalei shrank into himself. He kept trying to defend himself, making a last stand to
delay his execution. “I’m sorry. I never imagined things would happen like this. Life really is
full of unexpected surprises. Last night I was playing games, and the opposing team was
really terrible, so I thought about you, my good bro–”
“That’s enough.”
Xie Yu put down the knife and saw that the soup was about ready. Steam roiled upward as
he tipped the ingredients he had chopped into the pot. “This has nothing to do with you.”
With Xie Yu’s terrible temper, Zhou Dalei had imagined that he might live another two days
at most. He hadn’t expected to be acquitted.
But even having gotten the good end of the stick, Zhou Dalei still felt uneasy. “Ah? You’re
sure you’re not going to settle the score with me?”
“Settle the score, my ass,” Xie Yu said. “It’s my problem… You really want me to take it out
on you? Are you sick?”
He could still tell right from wrong.
No matter what, this matter was not Zhou Dalei’s fault.
“Then… how is Aunt Lan?” Zhou Dalei asked. “Is she all right? Tell her to take care of
herself.”
After hanging up the phone, Xie Yu stared at the steam rising from the pot. For some
reason, he suddenly remembered what He Zhao had said to him in the classroom. “Treating
her nicely in the way I want to… might not be what she wants.”
He looked down and searched for ‘He Zhao’ in his contacts.
He typed out many things then deleted all of it, leaving a single word.
Ge.
The soup had brewed for a long time.
When Xie Yu brought the soup upstairs, Gu Xuelan was sitting up on the bed, back against a
pillow.
Gu Xuelan was more angry at herself than at Xie Yu.
Over the last few years, she had talked with Xie Yu less and less.
She sensed that Xie Yu was learning, little by little, to stand on his own. He didn’t need her
help and… was growing more and more distant from her.
“Mom.” Xie Yu wanted to say ‘I’m sorry’, but the words, like ‘I love you,’ were harder to say
the closer one was to the other person.
Gu Xuelan looked at him. She did not continue questioning him and she did not blame him.
She took the bowl of soup and drank it silently, one small sip at a time.
“I want you to have a good life, too.” Gu Xuelan drank several mouthfuls. As she looked
down at the red dates in the bowl, her eyes grew moist and she whispered, “I just want you
to have a good life.”
“While we were in Black Water Street, I kept thinking that I wanted to give you a better
living environment. It didn’t have to be luxurious, as long as we didn’t have to worry about
food or clothes.”
“I never thought…”
Gu Xuelan paused. “If this is the result, I’d rather not be Madam Zhong.”

Xie Yu looked up, quietly. His eyes were red.

He had been stubborn since a young age. No matter what happened, he wouldn’t cry. Now,
even though his eyes were growing uncontrollably wetter, he still wasn’t quite used to it
and thought it embarrassing. He lifted his chin to keep the hot, wet feeling down. Then he
called her, “Mom.”
Gu Xuelan looked up at him.
Xie Yu asked, “Do you prefer Tsinghua or Peking U?”
Gu Xuelan remembered what Xie Yu had said to shut her up: Just see if I get into Tsinghua
or Peking U. She put her bowl down, wiped the corner of her eye with one hand, and then
laughed. “…Either is fine. As long as you like it, any school is fine.”
While on vacation, He Zhao occasionally hung out at the library and had set his phone to
silent mode. When he closed his book and picked up his phone to check the time, he saw a
text from Xie Yu: Ge.
To avoid disturbing the other people in the library, He Zhao put the book back and dialed as
he walked out. “What’s up?”
Then he heard Xie Yu say, “Ge, next time, let’s compete for first place.”
He Zhao was about to ask, “First place from the bottom?”
Xie Yu continued, “First place at the top.”
He Zhao walked out through the side door. Hearing these words, he stopped walking. He
knew what it meant for his little friend to want to score first in the year. He had been
pretending for so long. Now, for him to want to score first place, there was only one
possible reason
The sky had already grown dark. He Zhao leaned against the wall and asked, “You’re
serious?”
Xie Yu was pretty brave. He sat on the guard rail on the balcony to feel the wind. His hands
were on either side of him on the railing and his legs dangled in the air. Looking down from
the second floor, he could only see several rows of streetlights nearby.
“I’m serious.” Facing the wind, Xie Yu slowly shut his eyes and said, “What you said to me
before. I know what you mean now.”
A month’s vacation was not that long and passed in the blink of an eye.
On New Year’s Eve, it snowed in A City again. A thick blanket of snow accumulated on the
ground.
The class group filled with ‘Happy New Year’ wishes.
Aside from well-wishes, the majority of activity in the group chat consisted of snatching red
packets.¹
For the sake of those red packets, the group moderator even kicked Xie Yu out of the group.
[Xu Qingqing]: Yu-ge, we’ll let you back in when we’re done snatching them.
[Xu Qingqing]: It’s New Year’s. With your hot hands, you aren’t really suited to snatching
red packets in the same group as us. Please let us live.
[Wan Da]: Please, don’t call our friendship into question! We’re still friends!
[Liu Cunhao]: Although that’s true… for red packets, friends don’t count for anything.
[Luo Wenqiang]: Hao-zi, what you just said… is very true.
He Zhao had good luck that evening, and snatched the biggest portion of the several
hundred bucks Old Tang had put into the chat.
[Liu Cunhao]: Lucky god! Fifty bucks! Formidable, Zhao-ge!
[Luo Wenqiang]: Why did I get only fifty cents… this isn’t logical. Do you have to hurt a
working-class boy like me this way?
[Wan Da]: Ha ha ha ha ha, fifty cents. I got five bucks. Suddenly I think five bucks is very
good, too. I can count my blessings.
……
Madam Gu saw off the last guest and seemed to put down a heavy burden. She sat down
beside Xie Yu. Just now, she had not eaten much at dinner. As she ate dessert, she
complained, “I didn’t even get to watch the spring program. I only saw half of the skit. What
happened afterwards? What happened to that person?”
How would Xie Yu know? He hadn’t been paying attention at all. “Were there skits?”
Gu Xuelan: “……”
Xie Yu sat with Madam Gu through another few programs, but he didn’t find them funny at
all.
His phone vibrated. He surreptitiously glanced down at it. He Zhao had sent him a red
packet.
Xu Qingqing and the others had tried everything they could think of and had even resorted
to the underhanded tactic of kicking Xie Yu out of the group. But they could never in ten
thousand years have imagined that the biggest share of red packets still landed in Xie Yu’s
hands.
[He Zhao]: I’ll give you everything I managed to get.
Fireworks were going off outside the window.
Accompanying the loud explosions, fragments and pinpricks of light filled the sky. They
flashed in the night sky, then went out.

[Table of Contents]
Translation notes:
[1] Red packets: virtual money. Sounds like Old Tang gave the class group some.
Chapter 091 - I didn’t make a wish.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The 3rd solar term¹ approached and the weather gradually grew warm again.
The food street outside Liyang Erzhong hung banners even more celebratory than those
they had over New Year’s. From a distance, the whole street was filled with the words,
‘Welcome back to school.’
After having run wild all vacation, many people were hurrying to finish their homework
near the end of the winter break. With no regard to day or night, they did homework for
several days but still didn’t manage to finish. In the end, they had to accept their fate, and
planned to return to school early and struggle a little more.
Xie Yu had just walked up the stairs when he heard pained shouts from Class 2.3. “We need
to turn this in too?”
“There was English homework?!”
“Has anyone done their math homework? I’ll trade you the literature mock paper…”
When Xie Yu passed by the rear window, he crooked his finger and tapped on the glass
twice, neither forcefully nor gently.
Liu Cunhao, as the class rep, was leading the charge of copying homework. He was still
shouting and holding up several literature mock papers when he heard the tapping on the
window. He nearly jumped from fright. “Fuck!”
It was windy outside and Xie Yu had his hood up. He entered briskly, then remembered to
pull his hood off.
They had all thought it was Mad Dog come to inspect the classrooms. The class went silent
for two seconds, then continued like an exploding pot. “I was nearly scared to death… Yu-
ge, you’re not the Yu-ge I know any more.”
“That bit of mischief makes you happy?”
“How could you bully your weak, pitiful, and helpless classmates?”
“……”
He Zhao had gotten there early and was catching up on sleep in the classroom. He heard a
noise and half-opened his eyes.
He Zhao had returned to school a day early.
All the live-in students who came back early had underestimated Mad Dog’s enthusiasm for
broadcasting. Before six a.m., their esteemed Dean Jiang had already started shouting, “A
new school term! A new starting point!”
He Zhao sat up straight and watched his little friend walk over.
Mad Dog’s platitudes had not struck a chord with him. But when his gaze landed on Xie Yu,
he finally felt it. A new school term.
A new day.
He Zhao smiled and greeted him. “Morning.”
Xie Yu walked to the desk, bent down slightly, reached out, and pulled the zipper of He
Zhao’s jacket, currently situated at his chest, upward. “Morning.”
Sunlight shone through the window and brightened the classroom several degrees.
Liu Cunhao was still looking for someone willing to swap homework with him.
He Zhao pulled his math exercise book from under his desk. He had picked a few questions
from the book to do, but following his previous plan of steadily, gradually increasing his
score, he still had a high ratio of wrong answers. “Hao-zi, I’ll swap with you.”
Liu Cunhao looked at him for several seconds before silently turning away and asking
again, “Anyone else?”
He Zhao said, “What, you’re looking down on me?”
“I wouldn’t dare. You scored 49 points.” Liu Cunhao was worried he would damage He
Zhao’s confidence and awkwardly praised him, then couldn’t hold it back any longer. He
had to make him face reality. “But, Zhao-ge, you can’t be too sure of yourself either. Do you
get what I mean?”
“Hao-zi, you ignore me now.” He Zhao tossed the exercise book on the table. “—But in the
future, I’ll climb so high you can’t reach me.”
Liu Cunhao’s expression read ‘Who am I? Where am I? Our class big bro seems to have gone
mad.’ “……”
Xie Yu had just pulled out a gel pen from a side pocket on his schoolbag. When he heard
this, he nearly threw it.
The class bell rang and the classroom gradually grew quiet.
It was the first day of school and every subject teacher delivered the same lecture: ‘It
doesn’t matter if your end-of-term exam grades weren’t as good as you wanted. Start
working hard from this term onwards.’ The subject teachers hoped that the students would
clean up their acts after having played all vacation and correct their attitudes towards
studying immediately.
Their Old Tang did one better and made their literature class period into a lecture period.
He did not go over much new content and focused on counselling them instead.
Xie Yu was getting sleepy listening to it. He propped his chin on his hand and glanced at He
Zhao, who had been on his phone all class period. “Video games?”
He Zhao calmly exited back out to his home screen and said, ‘Ah,’ in reply.
Xie Yu didn’t mind. He closed his eyes and napped for a while.
Only now did He Zhao open his chat window with Shen Jie again and reply, What’s wrong
with you?
For the last few days, He Zhao had been racking his brains about how to celebrate his little
friend’s birthday. He thought about it over and over and didn’t know what to give him, so
he asked Shen Jie, but after waiting several minutes, he received the reply: No comment.
[Shen Jie]: I think that, the two of us… we should chat outside of class.
[Shen Jie]: Don’t think of getting me in trouble again!
[He Zhao]: …..
Shen Jie was still living under the shadow of the previous very awkward scene in the
faculty office. He remembered the blood, the tears, and the reflection essay he had to write.
After that, when he secretly played games in class, he never made make the mistake of
joining He Zhao’s team again.
In the same vein, he avoided chatting as much as he could.
Shen Jie propped up his textbook on his desk and hid his hands underneath. Halfway
through typing, he glanced up to make sure the teacher was still turned to the blackboard
writing notes, then continued tapping on his phone. Zhao-ge, please listen in class! Don’t
chat with me!
There wasn’t much time left until Xie Yu’s birthday in mid-March.
He Zhao had to catch Shen Jie during the ten-minute break between class periods and they
chatted for a while in the stairwell. “Do you have any ideas or not?”
Shen Jie wanted to say, If it were anyone else, I might be able to help brainstorm, but when
it comes to your Xie Yu…
Xie Yu was more unreadable than most, and even though Shen Jie was a little closer to him
now, he still didn’t know what he liked. He was still a mystery.
“What should you give him…” Shen Jie racked his brains and finally said, hesitantly, “…A
human head?”
He Zhao wasn’t sure whether to praise his bro for having such a vivid imagination. “Damn
it, something more normal, all right?”
Shen Jie was helpless. Even if he were to scratch his head bald, he couldn’t come up with a
second idea. “He’s your Old Xie, so you should know better than me. Think about it on your
own. What is he interested in?”
He Zhao sat on the stairs and thought for a while, then said, “Me.”
Shen Jie said, “…Ah?”
He Zhao said, “Me. He’s interested in me.”
Damn it, this conversation was going nowhere.
Shen Jie looked down and dragged his hands down his face in despair. “Anyway, there
definitely has to be a birthday cake, so we can start from there—”
The stairwell was very close to the corridor and Shen Jie had said the word ‘cake’ very
loudly. Wan Da was on the way back from the faculty office. He had not seen anybody in the
stairwell, but when he heard the sound, he stopped and backtracked several steps. “What
birthday cake? Who’s having a birthday?”
He Zhao: “……”
Since school had started again, He Zhao, Wan Da, and the others were always putting their
heads together discussing something. Xie Yu thought they were acting strange. Still, he
couldn’t put his finger on what it could be.
Every time he passed by, Wan Da would immediately change the subject awkwardly. “I love
my country…”
When Wan Da knocked on his door in the middle of the night and asked if he wanted to
take a walk around the dorm building, Xie Yu finally found a reason for how strangely Wan
Da was acting. “Are you sick?”
Wan Da stood in the doorway and said with some melancholy, “I can’t sleep. Been too
stressed lately. Could I chat with you?”
Xie Yu leaned against the doorframe and glanced down at his phone to check the time.
Half past eleven.
The lights had long gone out and the dorm was so quiet it was surreal.
Erzhong’s dormitories had six floors. The top floor, the rooftop, was locked year-round and
students were not allowed up. Wan Da, who had said he wanted to walk around the dorm
building, now took Xie Yu upstairs.
“I’ve been very confused recently,” Wan Da said as they walked. “I can’t find a direction in
life. I toss and turn in bed every night.”
Xie Yu: “……”
Usually, Xie Yu would say, ‘What business is that of mine?’
But Xie Yu thought of how Wan Da had been acting oddly recently, and in a short few
minutes, many thoughts went through Xie Yu’s mind. When Wan Da pushed open the iron
door to the rooftop, he was about to say ‘Don’t dwell too much.’ Then he was suddenly
hugged from behind and a hand covered his eyes.
Pitch darkness in front of his eyes.
—A bony, warm hand forcibly blocked his line of sight.
Xie Yu was led several steps forward and the rooftop wind blew in under the hem of his
clothes.
Then the hand slowly let go. In the pitch darkness, Xie Yu saw fragments of glittering light
through the gaps between the fingers.
Suddenly, everything lit up in front of Xie Yu’s eyes.
The rooftop was not large. Looking downward from the top floor, there were pinpricks of
streetlights like stars, the sound of cars honking from the surrounding roads, and wind
blowing noisily from all directions.
Someone had gotten a folding table from somewhere and a birthday cake was placed on it.
They had quickly decorated the rooftop and several bags of things lay to the side.
“Happy birthday.”
There was more than one voice.
Nearly everyone from Class 3 who lived in the dorms was there. They made a raucous
bunch. “Happy birthday, Yu-ge!”
Xie Yu didn’t remember his own birthday.
If not for Madam Gu reminding him every year and asking him if there was anything he
wanted, the concept of ‘his birthday’ would have been tossed to the back of his mind.
Several days ago Madam Gu had reminded him of it once. Xie Yu had been on a call with her
while doing practice questions and by the time he finished the big problem set, he had
already forgotten what Madam Gu had said on the other end of the line.
“You were joking with me just now? Where did you find the key?”
Xie Yu glanced at them and said, “Wan Da, what were you saying about the road of life and
losing your way and getting confused?”
He Zhao coughed lightly. “We forced the lock.”
Wan Da tried to change the subject. He lit the candles and urged Xie Yu to make a wish. “Yu-
ge, the wind… Damn it, hurry up and blow out the candles or they’ll all go out.”
Several of them made a circle, trying to block out the wind. “Hurry up! We can’t block the
wind much longer.”
The more they urged, the more Xie Yu’s mind went blank. The candles went out and he still
had not thought of a wish.
The others cheered and waited for the cake to be cut.
He Zhao rummaged around through the knives and forks in the bag, and discovered that
the bottom of the bag was all cans of beer. “Know-It-All, we told you to buy snacks. What
did you get so much beer for?”
Wan Da didn’t admit he wanted to drink it. “We’re all men here! When we gather on the
balcony…”
Beer cans lay haphazardly in every direction on the balcony.
A wind blew and the cans rattled around on the ground.
While everyone was drinking, He Zhao asked, “What wish did you make just now?”
Xie Yu said, “I didn’t.”
“Ah?”
Seeing he didn’t believe it, Xie Yu smiled and repeated, “I didn’t make a wish.”
He had not made a wish, but right now he felt that anything could become a reality.

Translation notes:
[1] Jingzhe: the 3rd of 24 solar terms in the East Asian calendar, when the Sun is at the
celestial longitude of 345°. Usually begins early March.

Chapter 092 - This time, he’ll really be touched! He’ll really cry!
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The group chatted about everything. They had drunk a lot and no longer held back what
they wanted to say, and the conversation topic drifted from online games to their crushes.
Guys only ever chatted about these things.
In their world, which had not yet been dragged out by time and was not yet very wide,
these insignificant troubles were of utmost importance.
“The first time I saw her, she was carrying books out of the faculty office. She was looking
down as she walked and we nearly crashed into each other… there was nothing special
about it, but when she looked up, she smiled at me. Damn, I still remember it to this day.”
The rooftop was run down and it was hard to carry chairs up here, so they had spread a few
sheets of newspaper on the floor and weighed them down with the beer cans.
Xie Yu sat beside the iron door. He leaned backwards slightly against the door, reached out,
and pulled a can of beer from the plastic bag. He hooked a finger into the ring tab and
pulled it open, tilting his head back and drinking a few mouthfuls as he listened.
The cool beer slid down his throat.
Xie Yu put the can down by his side, and his palm happened to press onto the back of He
Zhao’s hand.
Wan Da was secretly carrying a torch for someone, too. He had drunk a little too much this
time around and under the influence of the people who had gone before him, he followed
up. “Yeah, don’t dare tell her I like her…”
Wan Da usually gossiped more than anyone. The moment he got to know something, he
couldn’t keep it to himself. Even if someone sewed his mouth shut, it would leak. But he had
kept his feelings for the girl in the class next door secret for such a long time.
Xie Yu turned and glanced sideways at He Zhao. “You’re quite daring. What were you
thinking? You weren’t scared you’d die?”
He Zhao could tell Xie Yu was referring to the day he had confessed.
He said nothing. He quietly flipped his hand over so his palm was facing up and wove his
fingers between Xie Yu’s, taking hold of his hand.
Then He Zhao said, “I was scared.”
Of course he was scared.
All those careful feelings and uncontrollable thoughts. He wanted to draw closer but didn’t
dare state his intentions out loud.
But, after the fact, he was glad he had had the courage to take that step.
And he was even more glad that this person next to him… had also walked towards him
without a qualm.
Wan Da and the others were still going on about their tragic unrequited loves.
The surroundings were very dark and nobody noticed the surreptitious things the two
were doing to the side.
Two or three cans rolled about on the ground, then crashed into the iron door after being
blown by the wind and landed next to Xie Yu. He reached out and picked them up, squashed
them flat, then threw them into the garbage bag. When he was done, he thought about He
Zhao saying they had forced the door open.
The door to the dorm building rooftop was locked year-round. There was a lock and a sign
in Mad Dog’s handwriting: ‘Access Forbidden.’
“How did you force the door open?”
He Zhao would never admit he had looked up a lock-picking tutorial online, but discovered
in the end that he really had no talent for it, and had fought several rounds with the lock. He
said, faux-casually, “With my mind. It was very easy for me to force the lock.”
“……”
Xie Yu thought, Look at you bullshitting.

It was near midnight.

Xie Yu had drunk two cans of beer. He glanced at his phone and replied to his text
messages.
Aside from Madam Gu’s birthday wishes, several dozen people in the Black Water Street
group chat had lined up and to each say ‘Happy Birthday.’ The birthday wishes filled the
screen.
[Aunt Mei]: You turn 18 today. You came into this world, so I hope you can do the things
you want to do, go the places you want to go, and live every day content and happy.
[Zhou Dalei]: @Xie Yu, congrats on getting another year older, ha ha ha ha.
……
There were too many messages and Xie Yu was still replying to them when he heard He
Zhao call him. “Old Xie.”
Xie Yu finished typing out, ‘Thank you,’ and hit send, then looked up to see that He Zhao had
produced a gift box out of somewhere, tied with several ribbons. It didn’t look big, about
half a foot high.
“What is this?”
“A present,” He Zhao said. “Your birthday present.”
Xie Yu put his phone aside and took the gift box.
Wan Da and the others crowded round to see. Wan Da, as the leader of the ‘Xie Yu’s
Birthday Party’ planning team, was very familiar with He Zhao’s gift selection process.
“Zhao-ge spent ages picking this. He forewent sleep and food and gave it all his attention.
He said it was a mystery gift. Let us see it?”
Xie Yu had not thought much about it, but now that Wan Da had talked it up so much, he
was a little curious.
He pulled off the ribbons and took off the wrapping paper. Inside was a simple cardboard
box.
Under the hopeful eyes of everyone present, Xie Yu opened the cardboard box. When he
saw what was inside, he didn’t say anything for a long time. “……”
Wan Da couldn’t see properly from his angle and pressed forward a little more. “What is it?
What is it?”
He cut himself off halfway.
“Take it out and see.” He Zhao was confident, and clearly satisfied with the gift he had
chosen. “The switch is behind the base. It has a rainbow light effect. Very cool.”
Only this idiot would use the word ‘cool’ to describe this thing.
Xie Yu took a deep breath, then mustered the courage to look directly at this ‘cool’ gift—
It was a crystal lamp in the shape of a rather tacky heart. On the heart was printed a photo
of the two of them—the one of them sitting on the stairwell landing before the school
anniversary celebration.
It had a flowery border that looked like it came from the ‘80s, and there was also several
lines of idiotic text. Little friend, fate brought us together. Just as time will not fade away,
we will never part. Happy birthday.
It was laser-engraved and very striking.
…It looked like an obituary photo. When the ‘cool’ seven-colored light turned to white light,
the black-and-white photo radiated a gloomy glow.
Even more unbelievably, this thing could play music. The oldies song ‘365 Blessings’
emanated from it.
“Every day, in my heart~”
“Missing you one thousand, four hundred and forty times~”
A vein twitched violently at Xie Yu’s temple. He was so stunned by this completely tasteless
gift, he wasn’t sure what to say.
He couldn’t decide whether to kick He Zhao off the rooftop or jump off himself.
“Ge.” Xie Yu held up the crystal lamp, then said very slowly, “I… thank you very much.”
Wan Da sat back down in a daze, murmuring, “He’s scary. He spent so much time picking
and he picked this? Is this the ‘straight man’s aesthetic sense’ of legend?”
Ding Lianghua complained quietly, “…An idiot’s aesthetic sense?”
He Zhao completely lacked self-awareness.
It was not very convenient to buy gifts while living at school. He had skipped class to go out
several times, but there weren’t many interesting things in the shops around school.
Finally, he had had no recourse but to look online.
When he saw the crystal lamp, he felt that it had touched something in his heart.
The shop’s website had a line of text: This time, he’ll really be touched! He’ll really cry!
Xie Yu kind of did want to cry.
But definitely not the sort of tears He Zhao was thinking of.
“Thank you very much.” Xie Yu decided to bring forth his last shred of patience. “Your
taste… is very special.”
He Zhao smiled. “As long as you like it.”

Wan Da buried his face in his hands. He couldn’t bear to look at this gift-giving scene.
At the end of all the drinking, everyone had forgotten that they still had to go to class
tomorrow.
Wan Da knew he couldn’t hold his liquor and stopped drinking while he still could think
clearly.
Ding Lianghua, on the other hand, who usually was quiet and did not make a sound, talked
more than anyone after he had drunk some. He stood up and ran to the wall, yelling and
screaming, and no one could make him go anywhere no matter how hard they pulled.
“Damn, he’s ferocious.” Wan Da had caught hold of him with much difficulty. He pushed
open the door, walking downstairs with one arm around Ding Lianghua’s shoulders. “I’ll
take him back downstairs first—”
In twos and threes, nearly everyone had left.
He Zhao stood up, bent down, and stuffed the things they had left behind on the rooftop
into the trash bag.
Xie Yu watched him busy himself, then looked down again at the empty beer cans by his
foot. He tried to count the number of cans he had drunk, but his head was a little light and
he counted for a long time but didn’t come up with a number.
He Zhao cleaned up the rooftop. When he left, he pulled a new lock out of his pocket.
Xie Yu took two steps, bracing himself against the wall, then looked back at him. He Zhao
had not only forced the lock, he had remembered to buy a new one to lock the door back
up. “You’re very thoughtful.”
He Zhao said, “For the safety of the other students.”

It was 1 a.m. and everyone had returned to their dorm rooms. He Zhao opened his door and
was about to say, ‘Good night,’ but when he turned around his little friend ran straight into
his arms. “Where are you going?”
Xie Yu hadn’t restrained himself tonight and had drunk seven or eight cans of beer. He had
not felt anything at the time, but after a while, he felt the alcohol set in.
He felt a little warm.
He blinked, then realized that he had followed this person all the way to his dorm room
door before he knew it.
Xie Yu pressed his temple and was about to say, ‘Wrong room,’ but the next second, He
Zhao caught hold of his wrist and pulled him in.
Drunk Xie Yu looked unusually cute. His icy gaze had softened and when he looked at He
Zhao his gaze seemed clouded over.
“Close your eyes.” Under Xie Yu’s eyes, He Zhao nearly couldn’t restrain himself. “Be good
and close your eyes.”
Xie Yu closed his eyes, back against the door.
He Zhao kissed downward, starting from Xie Yu’s eyes. He Zhao still had Xie Yu’s wrist in
his hand and his grip was so tight it hurt. Their breathing gradually intermingled,
passionate and tangled, until Xie Yu yanked on his wrist and called He Zhao in a hoarse
voice, “…Gege.”
He Zhao cursed softly. He steadied himself, then let go of Xie Yu’s wrist, thinking Xie Yu
would open the door and go out.
But Xie Yu did not open the door. He slowly pulled the zipper of his uniform jacket
downward.

When Wan Da had knocked on his door and asked to walk around the dorm building, he
had not thought much of it and thrown on a jacket. Now that he had taken it off, he only
wore the thin T-shirt he had worn to bed.
Xie Yu tossed the jacket on the ground, then moved closer, caught He Zhao by the collar,
and pushed him onto the bed.
Xie Yu was burning all over, but his mind was surprisingly clear. He opened his mouth and
said, “Do you want to do it?”
“Don’t play games. You’ve drunk too much.”
“I’m not drunk.”
As Xie Yu spoke, he sat astride He Zhao’s lap and rocked backwards, intentionally or not. He
said again, “Do you want to do it, ge?”
The dorm room was dark.
By the light from the window, one could faintly see the messy covers on the bed, half fallen
to the floor.
He Zhao’s hands were tight around Xie Yu’s waist.
Xie Yu’s bare back was taut and formed an elegant curve. Above that was the jut of his
shoulder blades. He was looking down, half his face buried in the pillow, and only when he
felt pain did he let out a soft moan.
Suppressed, and like he was asking for mercy.
“Fuck.” Xie Yu gripped the bedsheets, the tips of his fingers growing white, and it was a long
time before he could make a complete sentence. “…Go goddamned slower.”
He Zhao answered hoarsely, “Fuck.”
Their movements were forceful and the bed creaked beneath them.
Inexperienced and hurried.
They clashed and tangled with each other, over and over.

Chapter 093 – The burden of slackerdom is too heavy.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Xie Yu was woken by a noisy electrical sound.
At 6 a.m. in the morning, Mad Dog was already shouting enthusiastically over the
broadcast. “The morning is when we are at our most energetic. We can’t be lazy! Wake up,
all of you. Welcome a new day and new challenges.”
“Students, I believe you are all ready!”
Before Mad Dog even finished, the corridor was already growing noisy. “Ready, like hell!”
“This is abuse of the flowers of our homeland!”
“Brothers, don’t stop me. I’m climbing up there to cut the cord. I’m taking down this crap
broadcast today. Between it and me, only one can live! I can’t go on like this.”
Xie Yu closed his eyes and rested for a while. He moved to reach for the alarm clock at the
head of the bed, even though he usually just ended up throwing it.
When he moved his hand he noticed that he ached all over.
Xie Yu half-opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was He Zhao’s profile. Two people in
a single bed was a tight squeeze and they had to lie on their sides to make room.
He Zhao had not woken, but his sleep had been disturbed and the arm around Xie Yu’s
waist tightened reflexively.
Xie Yu’s gaze moved downward from his face and landed on the faint red marks on He
Zhao’s throat. Only now did the memories of last night return, little by little.
……
He had scratched those marks himself.
Xie Yu buried his head in his pillow and closed his eyes again. Images of the previous night
played in his mind like a movie.
He had no strong feelings on the subject of who was on top. He was cold by nature and if
not for He Zhao—if not for him—Xie Yu might not even have had these sorts of thoughts.
And he had drunk a lot last night. Even though his head had been clear, he had not been in
control. He Zhao had held him down and done it to him.
When Mad Dog started on his second topic, He Zhao finally woke up. He scratched his head
and whispered, “Morning. What time is it?”
Xie Yu wanted to say, ‘Shut up and look for yourself,’ but his throat was dry and he couldn’t
say anything.
He steadied himself and, in the end, said nothing at all. He threw aside the covers and got
out of bed. When his bare feet landed on the ground he let out a hiss and breathed in
sharply.
He Zhao knew that he had been rather rough last night. But Xie Yu had been stubborn and
kept challenging him. “Can you or can you not?”
When He Zhao finally went at it, he couldn’t take it. His body had gone taut and he was both
reluctant and unwilling when he finally asked for mercy.
At this point, He Zhao half sat up and asked, “Does it still hurt?”
Xie Yu was a little annoyed.
He bent down and picked up the clothes on the floor, one garment at a time. His head ached
from a hangover and discomfort enveloped his whole body. “What do you think?”
He Zhao said, “Next time I’ll…”
“There is no next time.”
Xie Yu pulled the door open and said, “You’re too bad at it.”
Neither of them had experience. He Zhao had been crude and untried, and he hadn’t
controlled himself. He had no skill to speak of.
But the emotional thrill outweighed the biological one.
This person is mine.
Without reservation.
Every part of him.
Xie Yu had planned to pack up and go to class early, but he had overestimated his physical
ability.
He slept till noon. By the time he woke up, it was lunch break.
He Zhao pushed the door open, lunch in hand. Xie Yu was still curled up in the blankets.
“Get up and eat something before going back to sleep.” He Zhao put the takeout box on the
desk, then walked to the bed. He reached out and ruffled Xie Yu’s hair, which was sticking
out. “Be good.”
In response, he received a pillow Xie Yu had thrown.
“……”
Xie Yu sat up after tossing the pillow. The blankets slid to his waist. His shirt was a little
messy, the collar askew.
He Zhao looked once and didn’t dare look more.
Xie Yu got out of bed, bent down, and took out two changes of clothes from the closet.
He Zhao leaned against the door of the en suite bathroom, listening to the sound of running
water inside. He said, out of the blue, “A few people were late this morning. Old Tang pulled
them into the corridor and questioned them, but the lot of them found one excuse after
another…”
Several people were late that morning. All the live-in students who had drunk and talked
about life on the rooftop last night nearly couldn’t get out of bed, and six or seven of them
stood in a straight line in the classroom doorway.
Although Old Tang was good-tempered, this was the first time he had seen a whole string of
students arrive late. “What happened to you? What were you all doing last night?”
Ding Lianghua hemmed and hawed for a long time, then said, “…Sorry, sir, I overslept.”
Old Tang questioned them from the head of the line to the end, one by one.
They all had to find excuses and they couldn’t repeat themselves. The further Old Tang got,
the more he challenged their imagination.
In the end, someone even said his pants had ripped halfway while walking here. They really
even came up with such excuses.
“Sir, when I got to the math building, I suddenly heard the sound of fabric tearing down
there… in that moment, I felt that time had stopped. The world around me turned from
color to black-and-white.”
He Zhao acted it out quite well.
Xie Yu pushed the showerhead lever and complained, “Is his brain broken?”
The sound of running water gradually stopped.
“How do you feel?” He Zhao asked again. “…Don’t go to afternoon classes, either. Sleep a
little more. I’ll go tell Old Tang for you.”
Although Xie Yu still didn’t feel too well, he wasn’t so bad off as to need He Zhao’s concern.
Xie Yu put on his clothes, pulled open the door, and said, “I’m not crippled.”
“Was I really that bad?” He Zhao stepped aside to let him pass, but he was still fixated on
the topic from this morning. “But you sounded so satisfied.”
“……”
Xie Yu really wanted to say, That was from goddamned pain.
After they had eaten, lunch break was nearly over. When Xie Yu and He Zhao returned to
the classroom, they collided with Wan Da who was just walking out.
“Yu-ge, you’re finally here? I really shouldn’t have bought beer. I nearly didn’t get up in the
morning, but my roommate kicked me out of bed…”
Wan Da felt that something was not right. He looked again and caught a glimpse of Xie Yu’s
neck. Near his shirt collar, there was a red mark.
Xie Yu was pale and, up close, Wan Da could see the pale blue veins lying beneath his skin.
The red mark was very obvious.
“Right.” Wan Da didn’t remember until Xie Yu had already passed. Then he slapped his
forehead. “Old Tang came by just now and said you should go to his office to see him.”
This term, Xie Yu had not skipped class much, and he had not fought or made trouble
either. He was much less worrying than before.
All the subject teachers often discussed the two ‘students of the moment.’
“He Zhao did quite well in last term’s end-of-term tests.” A female teacher had finished
grading homework and now reclined her chair, intending to take an afternoon nap, and
murmured. “Old Wu really can teach. 49 points. That’s quite all right. I remember he used
to score 10 or 20 points…”
During the lunch break, there weren’t many students in the faculty office and the teachers
would chat, a couple sentences at a time.
Old Tang had not joined in the discussion, busy tidying some things at hand. Only when Xie
Yu knocked on the door and entered did he look up. “You’re here? Have a seat.”
Xie Yu had thought Old Tang was looking for him to talk about him skipping class that
morning. He was about to say, ‘I won’t next time,’ when he saw Old Tang push a thick stack
of papers towards him.
On the very top sheet of A4 paper was printed Exam Content Outline and Summary.
It was all foundational material. It started with a summary of junior high content and the
first line was, ‘Ways to Write an Analysis Essay.’ The critical points were printed in red.
Xie Yu stared at it, stunned, and for a while he wasn’t sure what to say.
“I took some spare time during vacation to put this together, though it’s not very
comprehensive. Take this back and look at it with He Zhao. Or make a copy, that’ll do, too.”
Old Tang twisted open the cap of his water bottle and poured out some wolfberry tea.
“Your issue right now is that you usually don’t memorize a lot. Read this a few more times
and memorize it. That way, when you do practice questions, you’ll know how to approach
the questions…”
He said he ‘took some spare time to put this together,’ but looking at the stack, Xie Yu could
tell he had spent a lot of time on it.
Then Old Tang continued thoughtfully, “With how your grades are now, the college exams
are still a little dangerous.”
Xie Yu had no idea what he was talking about. “……”
“It’s all right if you don’t know the answer. But you still have to try doing the homework the
teachers give you.” Old Tang sighed, then continued, “And don’t keep reading comics in
class.”
Since school had started up again, Xie Yu had not continued his act of being a bad student,
but he still gave off an air of not being serious. Someone whose future prospects were
dismal.
Erzhong was not a tough school. The homework given after class was too easy, and neither
he nor He Zhao did much of it. They only needed to look at it and they knew the answer,
without even moving a pen. Instead of spending time on these questions, they could do a
few more challenging ones instead.
It was the same in class. When he heard something interesting, he would look up and listen
for a while. The rest of the time, he was looking at the set of Olympiad questions he had
bought on his own.
The school term had only been in session for half a month and they had not yet had tests.
For the first time, Xie Yu felt the burden of slackerdom. It really was heavy and he couldn’t
throw it off if he tried.
Xie Yu opened his mouth. He nearly said, Sir, I’m not. I didn’t.
“Right, and there’s this, too.” Old Tang took two sips of tea, put his cup down, and pulled out
another folder from a drawer.
Inside the folder were his and He Zhao’s exam papers.
He and He Zhao never did corrections on their exam. But now, beside every question they
got wrong, Old Tang had made markings in red pen. Not only the right answer, but the
solution steps and a model answer were placed next to them on post-it notes.
Xie Yu was completely speechless.
He felt that the burden of slackerdom might crush him to death.
Xie Yu had never met a teacher like Old Tang.
Previously, on Black Water Street, his grades had been outstanding and the homeroom
teacher had let him participate in academic competitions. Aside from that, he had not
interacted much with the teacher. After coming to Erzhong, the subject teachers only
wanted him to lay low and not cause trouble.
Looking at the study guide, Xie Yu finally understood He Zhao’s words, ‘I’m worried I’ll
scare them.’ Class 3’s homeroom teacher really did think of him and He Zhao as students
who needed help.
And the study rep, who also often worried about their studies and their grades.
He Zhao had only raised his exam scores by a dozen points or so at the end of the term and
Class 3 was even happier in the group chat than if they themselves had gotten good grades.
……
The study guide in his hand grew heavier and heavier.
Old Tang looked at the time and saw lunch was about over. He waved a hand and said, “All
right, go back to class.”
When Xie Yu brought the stack of notes back to class, Class 3 was in chaos. The school was
probably about to hold another sports meet. Luo Wenqiang held up a flier and shouted, “—
Anyone else? Anyone else want to join?”
He Zhao, sitting in the back, had joined in the shouting. He stopped when he saw Xie Yu
coming.
Xie Yu tossed the study guide onto the desk. He Zhao reached out and turned a couple
pages. “What did Old Tang need you for? What the hell is this?”
“Study guide.” Xie Yu silently sighed, hesitated, then asked, “That plan of yours… where is
it? Let me see.”
“What?”
Xie Yu said, “The gradual improvement plan.”
Luo Wenqiang was still at the podium asking if anyone wanted to join.
Someone had just come back from outside and asked, “What event is this?”
Luo Wenqiang said, “Basketball tournament! Excited? Do you feel the burn of a man’s hot
blood?”
“Wasn’t it cancelled?”
“I heard from Wan Da that Mad Dog asked the higher-ups many times and finally got
approved…”
Last year’s basketball tournament had nearly ended in a fight and Mad Dog had
reprimanded the whole school for it. He had scolded them harshly and proclaimed that he
was going to axe this event, then told them to all go kick shuttlecocks.
But it was also Mad Dog who had gone to the school board in private, asked for mercy, and
gotten their basketball tournament back.
The class bell rang, but they didn’t want to stop talking about the basketball tournament.
When Old Wu came in, he scolded them. “You’re holding a meeting? Did you hear the bell?”
During the first class of the afternoon, Old Wu introduced a few new content points, then
made them do practice questions in class to cement the knowledge.
The only noise remaining in the classroom was the soft sounds of writing implements
making contact with desks and several students quietly discussing the question.
Xie Yu held his pen. On the desk was the book of Olympiad questions all the teachers had
mistaken for a comic book.
He felt some despair.
He Zhao was slumped on the desk, but he was not asleep. He reached out and pulled Xie
Yu’s pen from his grip, little by little. “What are you thinking?”
Xie Yu suddenly found his hand empty. He closed the book of Olympiad questions and
thought, What could I be thinking? The burden of slackerdom is too heavy, that’s all.
“I’m thinking of leaving everyone else a way out.”

Chapter 094 – Old Xie, are you coming?

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
He Zhao was about to say something when half a stick of chalk landed perfectly on the
corner of his desk.
Old Wu gave them several minutes to do the question. He thought that the question was
simple and they should all have understood, but when he looked up, he saw the two worst
students in the year intimately putting their heads together. “The two of you in the back, I
know you’re close, but could you give me your attention while you’re in class? …Am I that
un-charming?”
“You’re charming, you’re charming.” He Zhao was very obliging and raised his voice. “Old
Tang is Erzhong’s Aaron Kwok and you’re Erzhong’s Andy Lau.”
Xie Yu was very impressed by He Zhao’s ability to kiss ass without batting an eye.
Old Wu was on cloud nine from the praise. Amidst raucous laughter, the middle-aged man
—about 18,000 li away from Aaron Kwok— lifted a hand and ran it through his hair, then
calmly continued to say, “Years ago, I cut quite a popular figure in school too.”
The class laughed till they couldn’t sit straight.
After the racket, some of the students who had been dozing off were now much more alert.
Old Wu stopped while he was ahead and told everyone to quiet down. “Did you get the
answer for the question I told you to do just now?”
He had spent the class period going over a few new concepts and the in-class exercise
wasn’t a hard one. Xie Yu was listening with his head propped on his hand, but suddenly He
Zhao reached out and tugged his collar up. “What are you doing?”
“That…” He Zhao paused, then said uncomfortably, “There’s a mark.”
“……”
He Zhao said, “I’ll be more careful next time.”
Xie Yu was about to say, ‘Get lost,’ but he noticed the tips of his ears were warm before the
words left his mouth.
Old Wu finished going through the questions just in time for the bell.
Everyone was already staring at the timetable on the left of the board, which listed ‘Gym
class’ next, and thought only about the coming class period.
After class let out, Old Wu was still worried about the two worst students in the year so he
called both of them over. “Both of you, stay a while. Did you understand the questions I
went over in class?”
The question wasn’t difficult, so Xie Yu said thoughtfully, “I understood.”
He Zhao said, “Me too.”
Old Wu didn’t believe it at all. “Did you understand?!”
“I already told you. If you don’t understand, don’t pretend you do. Don’t think that I don’t
know your next class period is gym and you just want to go down to the court and play,
right?”
“No, I really…”
Old Wu mercilessly cut them off. “I know all your little tricks. I’m going to go over this
question again with you.”
Xie Yu: “……”
He Zhao: “……”
Once Old Wu explained the question and left, Luo Wenqiang picked up where he left off
during the last break and started blustering again. “Anyone have any thoughts? Anyone else
want to join?”
Liu Cunhao and the others already regularly teamed up, but for a real competition Luo
Wenqiang was trying his utmost to win a prize for their class. Luo Wenqiang continued,
hinting, “This is what I think. If Yu-ge can play support and Zhao-ge plays a bit more
sincerely with a few less tricks, our class should make it to the finals.”
The implication of his words was clear.
Xie Yu had just been force-fed a life philosophy of, ‘It’s fine not to know. Don’t pretend to
know if you don’t,’ by Old Wu and was very exhausted. He said coldly, “Then you can keep
thinking.”
He Zhao said, “I think my deskmate is right.”
Luo Wenqiang was speechless. “…Aren’t you two going a bit overboard?”
On hearing the first bit about ‘Yu-ge playing support,’ Liu Cunhao had already concluded
this plan was a no-go. “You might as well hope for me, your teammate, to suddenly improve
by leaps and bounds and become Erzhong’s Liu Chuanfeng.”¹
Luo Wenqiang’s expression was complicated. “Hao-zi, you can get lost.”
He Zhao was completely uninterested in the tournament. He was fine playing a game with
friends, but competition was no fun.
“Really, I’ll pass.” He Zhao gave a half-smile. “Watch out for the team from Class 4.”
The timetable had changed for the new term and Class 3 now had gym class at the same
time as Class 4.
Before class started, the courtyard was already full of people who sat here and there on the
track, forming small clusters. It wasn’t clear at a glance who belonged to which class.
The sun shone down, so bright it was blinding. Xie Yu sat behind He Zhao so He Zhao would
block the sun for him and glanced down at his phone, replying to Madam Gu’s text.
How have you been? Remember to eat and don’t stay up late.
Mm.
Xie Yu typed out the word. His phone still reflected some sunlight, so he leaned forward a
little more. His forehead made contact with He Zhao’s back and he felt He Zhao laugh, his
chest heaving slightly.
Then he replied, Got it. I’m doing quite well.
While they were chatting, Class 4 walked over, carrying their balls. They passed by the little
group of Class 3 students, then stopped and glanced at them. “Who’s signed up from your
class?”
Before anyone could reply, they continued, “See you on the court.”
Liang Hui walked right at the back. He was not wearing the school uniform and a rebellious
metal chain hung carelessly at his waist, a cross hanging from the slender chain. He didn’t
say anything, but when he walked past, he silently turned back and looked at them again.
Last semester, they had gotten into a disagreement with Class 4 on the court, but Luo
Wenqiang and the others hadn’t taken the matter to heart.
Luo Wenqiang watched them go and thought something seemed off. He scratched his head.
“What was that about?”
Xie Yu finished replying and looked up just in time to meet Liang Hui’s dark eyes.
Then he saw Liang Hui raise one hand and give him the middle finger. He only held it up for
a moment and it was not clear who he was gesturing at.
There was still nearly a month before the basketball tournament.
Erzhong’s tournament did not follow the standard rules. In order to save time, the matches
were shortened.
To prepare for the basketball tournament, Luo Wenqiang increased the intensity of
training. Not only during gym class and lunch break, but even in the ten minutes between
class periods, he led the basketball team downstairs to practice.
He Zhao and Xie Yu both weren’t participating, but when they had time, they still practised
with the others and acted as their ‘opponents.’
“Hao-zi, I think you’re not only good at running, your throwing skills are also incredible.”
He Zhao stopped and wiped his face with his collar. “You landed every basket yesterday,
but today you play like your arm is broken?”
Their class had big dreams, but the basketball team was actually not very good.
Liu Cunhao, especially, did not perform consistently. When he played well, he did
everything well, but when he was not in top form, he couldn’t land a basket for anything.
Class 3 had already prepared to drop out in the first round.
Unexpectedly, they won narrowly in the first round and entered the second.
Xie Yu stopped and asked, “Have the matches for the second round been decided? Which
class are we up against?”
Luo Wenqiang said, “Not yet. They’re drawing lots tomorrow before the match.”
Class 3 had bad luck and drew Class 4 as their second round opponent.
While drawing lots, Mad Dog was repeating over the intercom, “—All students participating
in the basketball tournament, meet on the courts at 12 noon.”
Luo Wenqiang opened the folded piece of paper and saw the stark number on it: 4.
Class 3 was sitting in the audience stands to the side, cheering them on. The stands were
filled and even students from the other years had come to join in the fun, chattering and
making a racket.
The referee took the paper and reported the name of Class 4. Liang Hui and the others got
up and walked to the middle of the court.
When the referee blew his whistle, Xie Yu felt his right eyelid twitch.
Then the feeling that something was wrong grew more and more intense.
At the start of the match, Class 3 had the advantage. Luo Wenqiang snatched the ball, then
was about to pass to Liu Cunhao when the boy wearing the No.6 jersey stuck to Luo
Wenqiang and wouldn’t leave.
Where the referee couldn’t see, he shoved Luo Wenqiang.
Wan Da got the ball and was about to throw when Liang Hui jumped up in front of him. Not
only did he try to beat the ball back down, he even intentionally collided with Liu Cunhao,
causing an ‘accidental injury.’
There were many people on the court and both of them had moved quickly. With the
constant crowding, attack and defense, and confrontation, Xie Yu nearly thought that these
little movements that had happened in the blink of an eye had just been his imagination.
But it wasn’t just twice.
When they were fighting over the rebound ball, he saw Liang Hui deliberately send his
elbow in the direction of Liu Cunhao’s eye.
Liu Cunhao let go in pain, and clutched onto his eye as he squatted down.
The referee blew his whistle.
Their underhanded tactics were very stealthy. They did it with their backs to the referee
and shielded each other from view. Xie Yu’s mind was filled with the single word, ‘Fuck,’
and a vein jumped violently at his temple.

He had heard He Zhao say that this team played dirty but he had not imagined they were
this shameless.
In front of Class 4, all the preparation Luo Wenqiang and the others had done for a month
for this basketball tournament now seemed like a joke.
“Ref, they broke the rules again! Who plays basketball like that? What are you trying to do?”
In just a short ten minutes, many of these occurrences happened. Luo Wenqiang tried to
endure it but he finally had enough.
Liang Hui spread his hands and said innocently, “Sorry, it really was an accident.”
Although Liang Hui was not especially good at making friends and many people didn’t like
him, a basketball tournament was a team event and played on group spirit. Class 4 all spoke
up for him and one girl was especially loud. “We didn’t break the rules…”
Xu Qingqing exploded on the spot. She turned and said, “Are you blind?”
Xie Yu couldn’t sit still either. But before he could get up, he saw He Zhao slowly screw the
cap back onto his bottle of mineral water before throwing it.
The bottle was still more than half full. When it landed on the raised edge of the stairs, it
made a loud bang, then landed on the rubber floor.
The classes, still fighting, were shocked by the noise and instantly quieted.
He Zhao’s face was thunderous. Ever since Luo Wenqiang had pulled the number 4, his gaze
had grown darker and darker.
After tossing the bottle, He Zhao stood up and stripped off his uniform jacket without
another word. Inside, he wore only a short-sleeved shirt. He tossed his jacket to the side.
“—Hao-zi, come back.”
“We’re substituting.”
The other people in the audience knew that Xie Yu of the West Building killed people
without batting an eye. He Zhao, in the legends, was a little easier to get along with. But
looking at him now, he didn’t seem easy to get along with at all.
The name of ‘school tyrant’ was not an empty title. He gave off an air so overbearing, one
did not even dare breathe too hard.
Liang Hui had hit Liu Cunhao very hard, and Liu Cunhao was still on the ground and had
not recovered. He clutched his eye with one hand and watched through blurry vision as He
Zhao climbed over the divider and walked onto the basketball court.
Liu Cunhao remembered He Zhao, with an aura of tyranny, holding Goody-two-shoes Yang
on the toilet and rubbing his face on the ground. But this time He Zhao’s aura seemed
completely different from before.
He Zhao took two steps, then stopped. Without looking back, he called out, “Old Xie, are you
coming?”
Then Liu Cunhao saw the grandpa from their class—who hated being bothered, who
refused point-blank to join the competition and who announced publicly that he wouldn’t
play support— also stand up.
Xie Yu folded up his sleeves and replied, “I’m coming.”
Looking at them, one might have thought they were going to a fight.
Class 3 was the first to react.
A rush of adrenaline and pride enveloped them. Their morale, which Class 4 had previously
beaten down, lifted again. Their hearts beat wildly.
Liu Cunhao took heart from the momentum and he yelled back as he left the court, “Class 4,
you’re asking for it.”
Translation notes:
[1] Liu Chuanfeng: CN name for Rukawa Kaede from the anime Slam Dunk.
Chapter 095 – If you’ve got the guts, when school’s dismissed
tomorrow evening, don’t leave.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“You like breaking the rules, right?” Halfway to the court, He Zhao bent down and picked up
the ball Wan Da had accidentally thrown out of bounds just now. He dribbled the ball
several times and his feelings were indiscernible from his tone of voice. He said, “Keep
breaking them.”
Xie Yu said nothing.
He jumped right over the guard rail, bracing his hands on the rail and pushing himself off
and over it. Amidst the shouting, he walked neither slowly nor briskly toward Class 3’s
team.
The two teams stood face to face.
He Zhao tossed the ball to Class 4 and it landed next to Liang Hui’s foot.
When Liang Hui said he was not afraid of the school tyrants, he was definitely lying.
Although he was a loud voice in his own class, he only dared be loud on his home ground.
Typical bully who picked on the weak and feared the strong. But under the audience’s gaze,
with so many pairs of eyes staring at him, his rapidly swelling pride and competitiveness
made him forget about all of that.
The referee blew his whistle another few times. He stood in between the two teams,
keeping them apart for fear they would start fighting. The audience was still fanning the
flames and blindly raving.
Class 4 was also completely riled up. They stood and yelled, “Hui-ge, go!”
The referee was getting a headache. “You all calm down. What are you doing? Are you
playing basketball or fighting? …The competition is secondary. Friendship comes first.”
At first, Liang Hui didn’t understand He Zhao’s words of, ‘Keep breaking them.’
But when He Zhao and the rest of the re-assembled team stood to the side, finished their
last-minute tactical discussion, and rejoined the court, he finally understood. So what if you
break the rules?
We won’t even give you a chance to break the rules.
He Zhao had watched for ten minutes from the audience stands and had gotten the gist of
the tricks Class 4 was playing. “Later, back uph Old Xie… He’s good at breaking through a
line, and he’s fast at offense, but he’s not a team player when he gets going so we can forget
about working together… Don’t get in his way or you might get hurt. Gym rep, you spot
No.6 and I’ll spot Liang Hui. We won’t let them get away.”
They couldn’t cure the referee’s blindness, so they had to prevent Class 4 from gathering
together to hide each other’s rulebreaking and earn their points back in the second half.
Luo Wenqiang was shocked by He Zhao’s acute observations of the match. He froze for a
couple seconds, then kept nodding. “Sure. I’ll keep an eye out. I won’t let Yu-ge hurt me.”
Xie Yu wasn’t too happy and frowned. “Me?”
“What about you?” He Zhao rested one hand on Xie Yu’s neck, drew closer, and said, “You,
solo player, eternal lone wolf… don’t think about it.”
Now that He Zhao was on the field, he put together an aggressive plan of attack. Xie Yu led
the show. Class 4 had never met such a powerful attack before and momentarily couldn’t
react.
He Zhao had his eye on Liang Hui, who could only watch with his eyes wide as Xie Yu got
the ball and passed two people, not giving anyone else a chance to get close at all.
His attack was so relentless even two people ganging up couldn’t block it.
“Hui-ge!”
No.6 from Class 3 had taken great pains to break free from Luo Wenqiang’s guard, but still
didn’t make it to Xie Yu in time to block him. In a panic, he yelled, “Block him!”
Liang Hui cursed and thought, Block, my ass. He Zhao was guarding him like he was
guarding a thief and he couldn’t get past at all.
The ball landed true. The moment it fell through the net, all of Class 3 in the audience stand
stood up and cheered.
Xie Yu wasn’t that bad of a team player.
Since they had started preparing for the basketball tournament nearly a month ago, he had
played several matches with them. In that time, Luo Wenqiang’s defensive tactics had
improved by leaps and bounds from training one-on-one with Xie Yu for several matches.
Xie Yu had landed a basket. He took two steps backward and ended up right next to He
Zhao, and they exchanged a high-five.
He Zhao pulled at his collar, fanning himself, and smiled. “My little friend is so cool.”
Xie Yu changed his position and prepared to go on the defense. He said, in a low voice only
the two of them could hear, “…My boyfriend is very cool too.”
Luo Wenqiang had nearly twisted his ankle. Now, standing beneath the hoop, he flexed his
ankle during the short break. He noticed his eyes were a little wet. Damn. This is a man’s
hot blood.
“Yu-ge! Cool!”
“You’re so cool! Go get them!”
Hearing these calls, Liang Hui silently sneered. His chest heaved and he bent over slightly,
dribbling the ball, his gaze dark. “Fuck.”
Class 3 was on the defense and Class 4 was starting to take the lead.
Liang Hui took the ball and attacked. He thought he could turn the game around, but he did
not expect Xie Yu to defend using offense and snatch the ball right out of his hands. Xie Yu
did not even bother with blocking him and skipped right past that step.
After this happened twice, Liang Hui gradually came to understand Class 3’s war tactics.
Two people could not block Xie Yu, so they would try three. “Block him! Fucking damn it!
Block Xie Yu and we can deal with everyone else.”
Liang Hui had calculated well. He wanted to handle Xie Yu and maintain the current point
disparity between the two teams. This way, he could suppress Class 3 and they would not
catch up too quickly.
But this landed him square in He Zhao’s trap.
Class 4 had thought Xie Yu was the main offense and He Zhao was the rear guard who
directed the team. But after they guarded Xie Yu, He Zhao took over this round of offense.
He Zhao was good at feinting and tactics. He played like he was toying with them and, over
several rounds, he brought their score back up.
“……”
In the audience stand, only Class 3 was cheering now. Class 4’s morale was dropping lower
and lower.
“Good play.” Xie Yu was sweating and he pulled the zipper on his jacket low, the zip getting
stuck at his chest. Then he remembered to look at the scoreboard on the sidelines. “Still
short one point.”
He Zhao said, “Just need another minute.”
There was half a minute left on the clock and they were short just one basket.
Class 3 picked up the pace.
Nobody noticed that while Liang Hui was defending, he also threw a weird glance at the
person in the No.6 jersey. No.6 quietly nodded. He had still been blocking Xie Yu, but now
he screamed, backed away, and fell onto the floor.
From the ground, No.6 yelled, “Referee, he ran into me!”
Liang Hui said, “He ran into him holding the ball!”
Xie Yu had not imagined they really would be this shameless. “You fucking…”
“So you stopped breaking the rules and started playing fake injuries instead. You all fake it
pretty well, huh.” He Zhao took the ball from Xie Yu and then stopped. ”Say it again? Who
ran into you?”
The situation was out of control. Both classes came down from the audience stand and
joined the group, pushing and shoving each other.
“Don’t fight! Don’t use force! Friendship first!” The referee blew his whistle several times
but couldn’t regain control over the chaos. Whistle in mouth, he yelled again, “—Friendship
first!”
Twenty minutes later.
The two classes stood outside Mad Dog’s office, two long lines in the corridor.
“What happened with you two classes, huh?! Basketball is so exciting that the whole court
isn’t enough for you to show off? What is the meaning of this? Do we have to set up a boxing
ring for you all? Organize a free-for-all fighting tournament?”
“……”
Mad Dog had been on his way to a conference room for a meeting and had all his things
packed up. He had not expected something to happen at the basketball tournament again.
This time, it wasn’t just a conflict between two teams. It was two whole classes, 40-odd
students, fighting.
After Mad Dog had gotten in a few words, Class 4, dissatisfied, started yelling, “They started
it first…”
Xie Yu was annoyed beyond belief by this lot and was about to retort when He Zhao nudged
him with an arm. “Don’t say any more.”
“You haven’t had enough?” Mad Dog’s face was thunderous and he brought out the words
he had used many times last year. “Basketball tournament? To hell with it. You can forget
about it from now on. Go on, run off and kick shuttlecocks now—”
The two of them stood at the end of the line. Xie Yu finally realized what He Zhao had
meant by, ‘Don’t say any more.’
Mad Dog had taken great pains to bring back the basketball tournament for them, but now
this had happened.
Several gusts of wind blew through the corridor and the breeze made Xie Yu very alert.
Class 3 all kept their heads bowed and stayed quiet while Mad Dog kept yelling at them,
getting fiercer all the time, as if they were really in the wrong.

Mad Dog nearly had an aneurysm. Next class period was about to start and he did not want
to keep the two classes from attending lessons, so he steadied himself and eventually said,
“You all reflect on yourselves. Go back and write a reflection essay each. Turn it in
tomorrow morning at my office. Two thousand words. If even a single word is short you
can carry your heads in your hands when you come to see me.”
Mad Dog left. The two classes had also gotten sick of staring at each other. Xie Yu was about
to go back downstairs when he heard Liang Hui sneer behind them.
Xie Yu’s footsteps paused.
He Zhao held on to him, worried that with his little friend’s hot temper he would throw
Liang Hui on the ground without another word. “That’s enough. Old Tang’s class is next.”
But Liang Hui drawled in a weird tone, “Your Old Tang, who got fired from a prominent
school for harassing a student.”
“……”
He Zhao let go. “What the hell are you bullshitting about?”
When Old Tang had transferred to Erzhong last semester, it had been a hot discussion topic
that spawned all kinds of rumors.
Some said Erzhong had paid a lot for him to come over but there was also a version of the
story where he had done something wrong at his former school. That version had been
popular on the school forum for a while, then the moderators deleted it. The story had
come and gone like the wind and nobody thought it was true.
Liang Hui tossed this dirty water, but once he was done, he didn’t have the backbone to
really fight them outside the student affairs office.
Just now, he had already suffered on the basketball court. Xie Yu’s flying fist had caught him
in the stomach and he was still in some pain. “If you’ve got the guts, when school’s
dismissed tomorrow evening, don’t leave.”
Xie Yu raised his eyebrows. The way Liang Hui picked a fight sounded very familiar, and he
was about to reply, ‘Where?’ when Liang Hui rattled off the name of a game, a place, and a
time.
“—Genesis, 9 p.m. at night! Cliff of Lost Love! See if your class has the guts to show up!”
All of Class 3: “……”
Genesis was an MMO that had gotten popular over the last couple of years. It spread
through all the schools like wildfire and nearly everyone had an account.
Xie Yu remembered that during summer vacation, Zhou Dalei had been obsessed with
Genesis and had gone out to pick a fight with someone over a violet weapon. He had
accidentally met He Zhao there and they had sat face to face in the police station writing
reflection essays.
Looking at Liang Hui’s face, Xie Yu found himself growing more and more unsure what kind
of shit was contained in this idiot’s head.

Chapter 096 – Say that one more time and I’ll go offline.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The next day happened to be Saturday.
Although Liang Hui’s suggestion was idiotic, one had to admit it was fairly ‘civilized.’ After
all, if they really fought, it would be Old Tang and Mad Dog who would have to clean up
their mess.
So Luo Wenqiang took the lead and accepted this war declaration on behalf of Class 3.
“You’re on! We’re not afraid of you!”
“……”
As they had caused a disturbance, Classes 3 and 4 were both eliminated from the
tournament and their progress was invalidated. During literature class, Old Tang took some
class time to educate them. “In all things, don’t be rash. Not all problems have to be solved
by rushing up and using your fists. You’re not children any more and you have to take
responsibility for your actions…”
The class was dead silent.
Old Tang thought they were silent and furiously looking down intoat their lapspants as a
display of shame, and he could not help but soften his tone. “Consider this incident a lesson,
and I hope this will not happen again.”
Xie Yu had had no time to sleep during lunch break. Now he pushed a thick stack of books
to the middle of his desk and hid behind them to nap.
He Zhao elbowed him. “Check the class group chat.”
“What?”
Xie Yu did not open his eyes, his face still buried in the crook of his elbow. He felt around
under his desk for a while before finding his phone. Without changing his posture, he
reluctantly opened his eyes and tapped on the unread notification.
[Luo Wenqiang]: Who’s joining? Put your name down and join our class guild. I just got
someone to set it up. It’s called ‘Class 4, kneel down and cry uncle.’
[Xu Jing]: Good name! Simple, violent, and aggressive. It fits our class spirit very well.
[Xu Qingqing]: Count me in.
[Wan Da]: I went to eavesdrop. The class next door has 5 clerics, four mages, and the rest
are all assassins. I don’t know what class Liang Hui’s going to play. He has three accounts…
Seeing Class 3 raring to go online and fight, Xie Yu was getting a headache. “They’re
serious?”
If they fought face to face, the warzone wouldn’t be that big. But now that the format had
been changed to a game, they would have universal participation. Everyone who had an
account was itching to rub the faces of the class next door into the ground.
During the four afternoon class periods, everyone’s minds were clearly elsewhere. All of
them just wanted to go home and play video games. When the class dismissal bell rang, Liu
Cunhao was the first to pack up his things, pick up his bag, and rush out. “Bye, bros! I have
to rush home and practice my combos. See you online—”
Xie Yu was leaning on the railing in the corridor, on a phone call. Madam Gu said a few
more words on the other end. The corridor was noisy and he didn’t hear properly, and only
said, ‘Mm,’ several times.
Liu Cunhao waved as he passed him. “See you, Yu-ge!”
Liu Cunhao was going very fast and the water bottle he had stuffed in his bag’s side pocket
was pushed out. It wobbled and He Zhao braced his arms on the windowsill and called to
him, “Hao-zi, your bottle.”
Gu Xuelan was saying something when she heard the noisy footsteps over the phone. It was
the noise of a school: clamoring, racket, and the sound of boys talking, full of life.
Xie Yu waited for a while and didn’t hear Madam Gu say anything more. “Mom?”
“It’s nothing.” Gu Xuelan recovered, then reminded him, “Take care on your way back.”
For the two weekend days he would spend at home, Xie Yu took several exercise books,
then thought about it, and put another mock paper into his bag. He was about to zip up his
bag when he felt a cool sensation at his neck.
He Zhao had worked up a sweat playing basketball earlier and he felt uncomfortable, so
after school he had gone back to the dormitory and taken a quick shower.
He bent slightly at the waist and rested his chin on Xie Yu’s shoulder. His hair dripped
water. “I won’t see my little friend for two days and I miss him already.”
Xie Yu pulled his zipper up and turned as he spoke. “I haven’t even left—”
His words were cut off halfway.
When he turned around, He Zhao was already in position to lean down and kiss him.
He brought with him a faint chill as he drew closer, catching Xie Yu off guard.
It had just been a kiss with no other intent behind it. He just couldn’t bear to let his little
friend go. He had completely forgotten that the moment he touched Xie Yu he would lose
control.
The sensation of losing control was even more intense than it had been on the basketball
court that afternoon. When Xie Yu opened his eyes again, the edge of the desk digging
painfully into his back. His school pants were pulled down to his tailbone and hung there
loosely.
“You’re hard.” He Zhao deliberately touched him through the fabric. “Beg me?”
Xie Yu hummed softly. His fingers threaded lightly through He Zhao’s hair, getting a handful
of wetness.
He Zhao had told Xie Yu to beg him, but he still reached out to loosen Xie Yu’s waistband
and reached in to help him. Xie Yu realized that He Zhao was going to finish him up and
then go, and his half-lidded eyes flew open. In a low voice, he asked, “…you’re not going to
do it?”
Since Xie Yu’s birthday, they had not gone too far. Even though He Zhao was so hard he
couldn’t bear it, at the very last step he would still force himself to let go of Xie Yu.
He Zhao was worried Xie Yu would be in pain, and worried he had not yet recovered, and
his little friend still had to ride the bus home, so it wouldn’t be right. “You’re not going
home? You’re going to stay the night here with me?”
Xie Yu let go of the back of He Zhao’s head and braced himself against the side of the desk.
Putting that distance between them made him a little more clear-headed.
He Zhao asked, “Tomorrow night, Lost Love Cliff. Are you going?”
“Going, my ass. I’m not going.”
Xie Yu didn’t dare imagine what it would be like. “It’s too stupid.”
A certain someone had said it was stupid and he was not going, but after he got home, he
saw that the time of the showdown between the two classes was growing closer. He
hesitated for a while, then logged into his old game account, the one called ‘X.’
Xie Yu had no extraordinary interest in games like Genesis. He had only registered an
account because Zhou Dalei had staked his life on it. I guarantee on my worthless life that
it’s really fun! If it’s not, you can cut my head off and kick it like a football!
But Xie Yu had not played for very long. His account was still on level 46 and most of the
skill tree was still locked.
Xie Yu looked down and texted He Zhao. Do you have a spare account?
He Zhao replied very quickly. Yes. Hold on a sec.
Xie Yu exited the PM interface and found that the class group was still discussing tonight’s
battle. They were much more fervent than when they discussed studying on a usual day.
Class 3’s group chat was full of activity for a while before an incomprehensible @ suddenly
emerged.
[a＝(Vt-Vo)/t]: What game is this?
Xue Xisheng asked twice. After getting an answer, he moved his mouse, found the official
Genesis site, and clicked download.
When He Zhao sent the account username and password over, he also commented, Our
class rep is actually breaking his record of 17 years of not touching online games.
Xie Yu thought: not only is he breaking a record, the study rep once said that online games
are the most pointless things, like emotional opium for teens, and would only hinder his
studying time.
He Zhao had given him a max-level warrior with a melee focus.
It was good in every way, but…
“What kind of name is this?” Xie Yu placed a call and before He Zhao could get a word in he
continued to say, “Are you sick?”
On his computer monitor was a berserker tattooed from his chest to his shoulders, an
impressive appearance with a green dragon saber in its hand. But atop its head was a name
that could not possibly get more idiotic: ╰→ I’ll get addicted to thinking of you.
He Zhao had not noticed what was amiss. He was never serious when he named his avatars.
When Xie Yu had asked him for one, he had only just remembered to change the name
quickly. “Couple names. Look at mine.”
He Zhao’s avatar was an assassin, dressed in black from head to foot, only a pair of eyes
showing through the hood. Over its head: ﹏Enchanted with love for you 〆
Xie Yu: “……”
Most of Class 3 was already online, using every last bit of time to practice co-op. More and
more members of the guild came online.
When the study rep appeared under the handle ‘PleaseDontGetAddictedToGames,’ Class 3
went silent.
Soon after, the idiot pair of lovers appeared in the guild member list and all of Class 3 went
silently mad.
Everyone had different online handles and for a while they couldn’t tell who was who, so
they swapped back to the class group chat to talk. It was easier to strategize like that later,
too.
Xu Qingqing’s house was noisy—they were probably still eating dinner. When she got
online, she said, “Forget about the study rep. Who are these two idiots?”
Wan Da put on his earphones and said, “Probably joined the wrong guild.”
Liu Cunhao asked, “Are they dumb dicks?!”
“Me and Old Xie,” He Zhao said. “Anyone have issues?”
“……”
“No, no, we wouldn’t dare.” Liu Cunhao had thought it wasn’t someone from their class.
When he heard He Zhao, he tried to rescind the words ‘dumb dicks.’ He racked his brains
and said awkwardly, “Actually, those names… they sound kind of high-class.”
Xie Yu tamped down very hard on the impulse to kick He Zhao from this end of the corridor
to the far end when he saw him on Monday, and joined the team fight with the idiotic
handle ╰→ I’ll get addicted to thinking of you.
Liu Cunhao had been class rep for two years and brought his natural leadership charisma
into the game. He had not practiced his game skills much, but he led everyone around in
formation for half an hour.
“No matter our skill level, we must put up a strong front. We have to suppress them from
the beginning.” Liu Cunhao spoke confidently into the mic. “Warriors, stand in front. Mages
stay back, and clerics in the rear. Form up. I’ll count down, 3, 2, 1. Everyone walk
forward…”
The 20+ people made a 4×6 rectangular formation.
To one side of the formation, a warrior with the handle ╰→ I’ll get addicted to thinking of
you was not moving. Through the visor, his avatar’s gaze seemed to be a little cold.
Liu Cunhao kept repeating, “3, 2, 1.” In the chaos, He Zhao called, “Old Xie, let’s go.”
Xie Yu turned on his mic. “Say that one more time and I’ll go offline.”
Class 4 had named their guild ‘Class 3 are our grandsons.’ At 9 p.m. sharp, a crowd had
amassed on Lost Love Cliff.
The so-called fight had no finesse to speak of. There were too many people. It was just a
brawl.
But when Class 3 showed off their 4×6 formation missing one person, Class 4 was still
shocked.
“The mage on that side is hurt! Someone stab him!”
“Cleric, heal me! I’m about to die! Cleric, look at me!”
“Someone go and block that idiot! Someone guard him!”
Everyone was yelling in the group chat and no one noticed that a new Level 5 account with
the handle ‘PleaseDontGetAddictedToGames’ had taken a few skill hits from the enemy and
his health bar was almost empty.
Until Xue Xisheng turned on his mic and asked, “How do you heal?”

Chapter 097 – Please, you two, wake up!

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Lost Love Cliff was a popular battleground in Genesis. There was a very simple reason for
its popularity: if someone couldn’t beat their opponent, they didn’t have to die under the
enemy’s sword. They could just jump off the cliff.
One must die with dignity.
The showdown between ‘Class 4 kneel down and cry uncle’ and ‘Class 3 are my grandsons’
quickly gained steam and drew a big audience.
“Lower right corner, inventory,” He Zhao said. “Gym rep, hide in the back. If you can’t make
it, jump off the cliff. Hao-zi, go up and help guard him for a while… which one on that side is
Liang Hui? I’ll deal with him.”
He Zhao had already collected several heads since the battle had commenced. His tactics
were underhanded and he moved on the battlefield with ease.
Liu Cunhao rushed up and guarded the new Level 5 account with his own avatar. “Your Old
Xie is already dealing with him.”
╰→ I’ll get addicted to thinking of you was leading a solo onslaught against the enemy
camp.
Although Xie Yu had not played this game for a long time, Zhou Dalei had spent all his free
time looking up new combos and showing off to Xie Yu. “Boss Xie, look at this combo. I’m
calling it the Blade of Lei-zai. What do you think?”
Xie Yu was merciless. “I think it’s tacky.”
Zhou Dalei: “……”
Liang Hui was so boxed in by the warrior with the idiotic handle , he couldn’t move. In the
short span of five minutes, Class 4’s numbers were half-depleted.
The back and forth was so intense that for a while, no one could see the game background.
The screen was filled with skill effects.
“He’s badly hurt. One more.”
Before the people around him could react to what he said, Xie Yu continued, “He’s dead.”
Liang Hui had good equipment. He had probably spent all his in-game effort on acquiring
expensive equipment, but although his avatar looked resplendent, he didn’t actually use it
very well.
By this time, Xue Xisheng had finally taken a healing potion. After recovering HP, he used
several skills that did basically 0 damage, showing off a new Level 5 account’s
determination.
Twenty minutes later——
A system alert. ‘Class 4 kneel down and cry uncle’ has defeated ‘Class 3 are my grandsons.’
This victory was damn sweet. Liu Cunhao’s voice was hoarse from yelling, but in the
moment of victory he shouted, “Victory, my brothers! We’ve won!”
Liu Cunhao’s loud shouting was giving Xie Yu a headache. He reached to pull off his
earphones, but not before hearing an even louder string of curses. “Do you want to die?
Have you finished your homework? You’re playing games?”
Liu Cunhao had yelled so loudly his dad and mom had come looking. They pushed open his
door and started scolding him.
Liu Cunhao was scolded into submission. He said, more quietly, “Mom, just ten more
minutes… I swear, it’s true.”
On another line, another parent was saying something unexpected.
“You’re done? You could play a little longer with your classmates. This game looks pretty
fun. Should you buy some equipment? I saw other kids buying it… If you want something,
just buy it. Mom will give you money.” All of Class 3 was shocked speechless by this parent.
Then they heard Xue Xisheng say helplessly, “Mom, no need. I’m not playing any more. I’m
going to study vocab.”
“……”
Liu Cunhao really wanted to cry. “How can people’s situations be so unequal?”
Xie Yu, one hand still on the cord of his earphones, started laughing alongside the others in
the chat. Aside from Liu Cunhao, who was still bemoaning the unfairness of fate, everyone
else was laughing wildly.
He smiled as he let go. He was about to exit the game when he heard someone from Class 4
say something in the public chat.
We dare to gamble, so we dare to lose.
We’re sorry.
Their class had proposed the competition in the first place, so now they had to admit
defeat.
Although they had bowed and admitted defeat, Class 4’s guild chat was very different. Liang
Hui was so mad his keyboard clacked as he typed, and only when he hit the enter key did
he realize he had sent it to the wrong chat.
A line suddenly appeared in the global chat.
The class with the lowest average in the year. Of course they’re good at video games. /Heh
heh
The conflict between the two classes had started with the basketball tournament, but now
it was getting more and more out of hand. They were at an age where their blood ran hot
and they couldn’t control their feelings.
Xie Yu’s hands stilled.
This event had already upset him, and upon seeing these words he felt rage overwhelm
him.
Class 3’s group chat went quiet. Then someone couldn’t take it any longer and cursed. Then
it exploded. “What the hell do they mean by that?!”
Before Class 3 could curse any more, a familiar, aesthetically unusual handle appeared in
the global chat.
╰→ I’ll get addicted to thinking of you: Do you want to die?
Xie Yu had just sent it when a similarly styled handle appeared, too.
﹏Enchanted with love for you 〆: The upcoming midterms. Open your dog eyes and see
clearly who your father is.
All of Class 3: “……”
Class 3 had never imagined the ones to talk trash first would be the two students whose
grades were most worrying. Even Xue Xisheng hadn’t yet said anything.
The boast was an impossibly arrogant one. It was presumptuous, grand, and inexplicably
made their blood run hot. But none of Class 3 let it get to their heads.
Luo Wenqiang’s voice was shaking. “No, really. You sound very cool saying that, but do you
have to boast like that? Do you know what you’re saying?”
Wan Da siaid, “—Wake up! Please, you two, wake up!”
Liu Cunhao said, “Zhao-ge, you really shouldn’t be too arrogant!”
The mid-term exams were less than two weeks away.
There had been one monthly exam since term started up again. In that monthly exam, these
two students—whose bottom-of-the-year positions even thunder could not move—had
pulled their scores up a little, although it wasn’t much improvement.
Class 3 was happy for the time being, but now they thought about the usual studying habits
of their class’s two big bros, and they had every reason to suspect they had just gotten
lucky at blindly guessing answers.
Class 3’s reactions were too strong, and Xie Yu and He Zhao couldn’t get a word in though
they tried. With much effort, He Zhao finally managed to say in bits and pieces, “It’s fine.
Even if they have a 30-point head start we’ll still win easily. Actually, Old Xie and I…”
Before he finished, Class 3 left the voice chat one by one.
[Luo Wenqiang left the voice channel.]
[Liu Cunhao left the voice channel.]
……
[Xie Yu]: ?
[Liu Cunhao]: Goodbye. I heard ‘30’ points and really can’t go on. Even if they gave us a 30-
point head start, we probably couldn’t win. For the sake of our class dignity, I’m going
offline and I’m going to study.
[Wan Da]: I’m going to study too.
[Luo Wenqiang]: Studying.
Everyone left, until only Xie Yu and He Zhao were left in the voice chat.
He Zhao wasn’t sure whether to laugh or to cry. At the start, he was just angry and was
trash talking alongside his little friend. But now that he had said it, he had been planning to
explain things to his classmates. Who would have expected that none of them were willing
to listen? “What happened to trusting your fellow man?”
He Zhao was done being thoughtful. He called out, “Old Xie.”
“Mm?”
“The plan from before. Gradual…”
Xie Yu exited the game, took out his earphones, and cut him off. “Gradual, my ass.”
Liang Hui’s words still filled his head.
Xie Yu was annoyed beyond belief and very enraged. All his worries about the burden of
slackerdom were now burned clean away by the fire of anger. Only one thing remained in
his mind: just beat the idiot and be done with it.
He Zhao let go of his mouse and said, “Sure. Let’s do it.”
The class group was very quiet over the weekend and nearly nobody said anything. Some
people emerged to ask the study rep homework questions, but when they were done, they
vanished again.
“Also, there’s a bag on the table. Take it back to school with you when you go. Don’t forget.”
Early Monday morning, Gu Xuelan drank a few mouthfuls of congee and then put down her
spoon to continue talking to Xie Yu. “They’re health products I bought you. To keep up your
nourishment.”
“Got it.”
Xie Yu felt his phone vibrate. He opened the app and saw the study rep explaining a
geometry question to Luo Wenqiang. He glanced at it, then put down his phone and
continued eating breakfast.
Gu Xuelan asked, “A classmate?”
“Mm.”
Their conversations often went like this. Before, Xie Yu would not have noticed anything
amiss. He was taciturn by nature and would rather do than talk. But since he had hashed
things out with Madam Gu, he had begun to pay more attention to what she meant.
After a while, Xie Yu continued, “Our study rep is explaining questions in the group chat. A
few days ago…”
Xie Yu wasn’t good at telling stories like these and covered the video game fight in several
sentences, blandly delivered. But Madam Gu was still very happy to hear it and even asked
out of curiosity, “And he doesn’t do anything else in his free time?”
Xie Yu said, “His entire life consists of studying.”
There was a traffic jam on the way back to school and by the time Xie Yu got to class the
bell was about to ring. Class 3’s classroom was so quiet it was a little strange. Very different
from usual when he could hear his classmates making noise from a long way away.
Xie Yu got to the rear door and saw that some words had been written on the rear
blackboard. The words were large, red, bold, and went straight to the heart. Change our
fate!
“……”
He Zhao arrived late, too, and ran into Xie Yu in the doorway to the classroom. He stopped
walking, one hand on the doorframe, then reached out and put an arm on Xie Yu’s shoulder.
He bent slightly and said, “What are you waiting around for? You’re not going in?”
He Zhao glanced into the classroom and saw the words ‘Change our fate.’ “What is this… the
blackboard report for this semester?”
Xie Yu asked, “You think the school would come up with such a topic?”
Class 3 was studying especially hard today. Everyone had their heads buried in their books.
Wan Da walked in, having just finished cleaning duty, and He Zhao beckoned to him with a
finger.
Wan Da put down the cloth. In his other hand was a small vocabulary book. “Morning,
Zhao-ge.”
He Zhao said, “Morning. Friend, explain this?”
“Ah, Hao-zi wrote this,” Wan Da said. “He said it would encourage everyone. We can’t give
up hope. This mid-term exam will be our last stand against the odds.”
Class 3 flatly refused to believe He Zhao and Xie Yu could get good grades of any sort. At
most, they expected the two of them to accidentally get several more questions right, like
on the last test, and it would still fall to the rest of them to pull up their class average
themselves.
In the morning, they gathered for an emergency class meeting. They imagined the worst-
case scenario. Even though this goal was difficult to reach, it wasn’t completely impossible.
Liu Cunhao held a piece of paper in one hand, the other drawing circles on it with a pen.
“Let’s imagine. If Zhao-ge scores 10 points this time around…no, let’s be more conservative.
Let’s go with 0 points! Then, each of us has to score another…”
Wan Da was about to go back to studying when he heard He Zhao say, “What do you mean,
against the odds? Old Xie and I have no issues getting a perfect score.”
Even the usually taciturn Xie Yu said, ‘Mm,’ in assent.
Wan Da nearly tripped. All sorts of emotions were flowing through him. He had no idea
where their sudden delusional self-confidence had come from. “Are you both mad?! Are you
dreaming? Please, wake up!”
Xie Yu: “……”
He Zhao: “……”
Chapter 098 – Steady. We can win.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Wan Da didn’t give them a chance to speak. He kept repeating, “Please, wake up,” the whole
way back to his seat.
Xie Yu stood in the doorway, his feelings complicated. “…We’re wide awake.”
He Zhao was still in the same pose, one arm hooked around Xie Yu’s neck, stunned by Wan
Da’s words. “…Really, we’re awake.”
He yelled at Wan Da’s departing back, “Trust me! A perfect score isn’t hard to get…”
Now Wan Da was not the only person breaking down. Liu Cunhao nearly threw his English
vocabulary handbook at the two of them. “Trust what? There’s no trust between us! If you
get a perfect score, I’ll eat my mid-term test!”
“……”
The bell rang to signal the start of morning self-study and the various classrooms gradually
quieted.
The English teacher walked out of the faculty office holding a stack of books and saw two
figures standing in Class 3’s doorway. “—What are you two doing standing in the doorway?
Get back to your seats. Class is starting, don’t you know?”
Xie Yu internally sighed and didn’t keep quibbling with them on the topic. He walked to the
last row and pulled out his chair.
“Class 3’s studying hard today.” The English teacher stepped into the classroom and
immediately felt the unusual atmosphere. She bent over the computer and adjusted the
listening comprehension file. “You’re memorizing vocabulary so intently. Are you feeling
the pressure of the midterms?”
The English teacher increased the volume, then said, “You don’t have to be so worried. Just
take the midterm exams like you usually do. Adjust your expectations…”
She could never have imagined that Class 3 just wanted to compete with Class 4 next door.
They’d sworn an oath to get their own back.
Xie Yu did one of the listening comprehension questions.
He had gotten up at five something a.m. to catch the bus and started to get sleepy after two
questions. He lay down on the desk, pen still held between his fingers, and the English
letters he wrote grew messier and messier.
He Zhao turned and saw his little friend with his eyes half-closed, looking very sleepy. Xie
Yu did questions very quickly and ticked off his answer before the test finished asking the
question.
As Xie Yu ticked the answers off, he was thinking. He admitted to himself that he had left
himself some wiggle room since entering high school. Sometimes, he would do half a
question and give the subject teachers a little surprise. “Look at this question. Didn’t you
figure out how to solve it? You should memorize the solution steps properly. Then you
wouldn’t get stuck after writing the beginning…”
But these careful little surprises had not left much of an impression on his classmates or
the teachers.
“Do you have an extra pen?” He Zhao asked.
“Where’s yours?”
“I got used to… not bringing one.”
The outcome of having acted for so long and gaining experience enough to be a pro at
slacking off… was that Xie Yu went through the entire interior of his desk and did not find a
second pen. He was still as poor as before.
They stared at each other in silence. “……”
Xie Yu looked away and nudged the student in front of him with his pen, about to ask if he
had extra pens, but the student—who was usually respectful of the two big bros in the back
row—was now being obstinate.
Although he and his deskmate had sat in front of them for a long time, they still had an
inexplicable feeling of respect and fear for the back row. At first, it had been fear of the bad
reputation of the school tyrants. Now, it was gay panic.
They really couldn’t get any gayer than this.
The guy in front didn’t even turn around when Xie Yu poked him. “Big bro, please don’t
disturb me while I’m listening. This is a matter of life and death for our class. I can’t get
distracted.”
Xie Yu pressed a hand to his forehead and fully gave up on the lot of them.
The English teacher was very satisfied with Class 3’s studious attitude, even if it seemed
like a spell had been cast on them. After class, he packed up his things and walked out, but
not before saying, “I don’t know if you’re possessed or what, but I hope Class 3 can continue
like this…”
Throughout the class period, aside from some students who put their heads together to
discuss the questions, Class 3’s classroom had remained very quiet.
Several people lined up in front of the study rep’s desk like they were visiting a clinic.
Xue Xisheng calmly pushed up his glasses and helped Wan Da complete a solid geometry
question. Pen still in hand, he said, “Next.”
Xu Qingqing respectfully walked up and placed her chemistry exercise book on Xue
Xisheng’s desk. “Mr. Xue, page 68, question 3. Could you help me?”
Luo Wenqiang, behind Xu Qingqing, used the wait time to memorize a few more math
formulas.
Xie Yu’s thought process was simple. Since no one believed them, they might as well talk
less and let their exam results speak for themselves.
But He Zhao still refused to give up. With a languid air, one leg cocked, and looking very
idle, he raised a hand and yelled to Luo Wenqiang, “—Gym rep.”
Luo Wenqiang looked up. “Huh?”
“Which question is it?” He Zhao asked. “I’ll teach you.”
Luo Wenqiang had wondered what He Zhao was going to say. When he heard this, he
nearly choked. A feeling of suffocation engulfed him and he didn’t let out that breath for a
long time.
While he was still trying to breathe, He Zhao added, “If you don’t believe me, bring it over
here and I’ll do it for you to see.”
Luo Wenqiang: “……”
Anticipating Luo Wenqiang’s reaction, Xie Yu pulled on He Zhao’s hem and said, “Forget it.”
He Zhao whispered, “I think I can still do some emergency resuscitation.”
Xie Yu said, “…If you keep talking, I can’t be sure who will need resuscitation.”
Luo Wenqiang really needed an ambulance right now.
Bombs seemed to be going off inside his mind, exploding one after the other. You’ll do it,
my ass!
Jerk!
Ahhh!
Eventually, Luo Wenqiang took a deep breath and declined. “Zhao-ge, it’s like this. My time
is very precious right now, and I can’t waste even a second of it. Do you understand what I
mean?”
He Zhao said, “Why don’t you believe me? Qiang-qiang, can’t we give each other a chance?”
His response was Luo Wenqiang’s resolutely departing silhouette.
When Luo Wenqiang left, his footsteps were unsteady. He felt as if he were in a dream. Who
am I? Where am I?
Luo Wenqiang’s strong reaction left an impact. Xie Yu let go of He Zhao’s hem and leaned to
one side. He couldn’t help smiling.
“……” He Zhao scratched his head, and forgot about ‘emergency resuscitation.’ He wasn’t
sure what to say. “Is it really so difficult for this lot to trust us?”
Xie Yu said, “Ge, I think you need to learn when to give up.”
Next to the words ‘Change our fate!’ on the blackboard, they had even added a countdown
to the mid-term exams. The whole class was getting more and more nervous because of the
countdown.
Old Tang tried to advise them to put down their textbooks and go outside more. “Work and
leisure accompany each other. Study, but to a point. You go on like this every day and don’t
even want to go to gym class any more. What are you doing?”
But Class 3 now had iron determination and Old Tang couldn’t move them though he tried.
The only sounds on the day of the mid-term exams were of Mad Dog yelling over the
intercom to the students to ‘arrange the furniture in their classrooms and to proceed to
their exam venues in half an hour,’ and of chairs and tables being dragged.
After two weeks of intensive studying, everybody in Class 3 looked tired.
Liu Cunhao took a cloth and rubbed out the ‘1’ on the blackboard, then gravely wrote down
a 0 by the countdown.
“Everybody, steady.” The bags under Liu Cunhao’s eyes had been steadily growing over two
weeks of late nights. Although he was tired, his eyes still resolutely shone. “We can win.”
As Xie Yu moved his table and chair, he thought that this was less a last stand against the
odds and more like they were riding in a small, broken-down boat, still trying desperately
to row even as they were about to be drowned by a flood.
……
Xie Yu and He Zhao had improved a little over the last two exams, but still had not escaped
the fate of being assigned to the very last exam venue.
The corridor was packed with people going to their exam venues, so crowded that even
water might not be able to flow through between them.
“Like we said before, first place from the top.” The stairwell exit was crowded. He Zhao
stopped and looked at him. “Let’s compete?”
The first exam was literature and Xie Yu had only brought two pencils and nothing else. He
hadn’t even brought an eraser. He didn’t even consider that if he shaded the answer sheet
wrong, he wouldn’t be able to erase it.
“Sure.”
Xie Yu glanced down at his phone. When he looked up again, Liang Hui and some others
were walking out of the bathrooms.
Liang Hui had at some point dyed his hair. Several locks of red by his temple were striking
and he smelled of cigarette smoke. His gaze was dark and inscrutable and he carelessly
stuck his hands in his pockets.
The intercom played exam announcements on repeat.
The two groups of people watched each other, and in the end, they both ignored each other.
“Students, please proceed to your designated exam venues. Students, please proceed to
your designated exam venues. The exam will start in ten minutes. Please note the time.”
“The first exam is literature.”
“The exam will start in ten minutes.”
For this round of mid-term tests, all the public high schools in A City wrote the questions
together and the resulting test was more difficult than those of previous years.
Before the exam started, someone in the poor students’ gathering grounds had already put
his head down and fallen asleep. By the time the invigilating teacher arrived, he had even
started snoring.
Several slow and long snores stopped the invigilating teacher’s footsteps in its tracks.
The invigilating teacher was a new face and he clearly had opinions about this exam venue.
As he counted the exam papers, he frowned and looked around the classroom. “……”
People were doing all sorts of things. Some more daring students even messed with their
phones, thinking they were being discreet.
Unfocused with poor grades. Those were the monikers of this exam venue.

The exam bell rang. The invigilating teacher passed the exam papers down column by
column, from the head of the column to the end.
The bell finally woke the snoring student, who rubbed his mouth and forced his eyes open.
This room did not feel like an exam venue at all and did not have an atmosphere of tension.
But Xie Yu felt his throat go dry.
He took the paper and immediately rested his elbow on the paper to write his name. With
his other hand, he passed the remaining exam papers backwards.
Two strokes into the word ‘Xie.’
He Zhao reached out and took the exam papers from Xie Yu’s hand.

Chapter 099 – What is going on with the students in this exam room?
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“The exam starts now. You have 120 minutes.”
“Students, please take note. You cannot have tools not relevant to the current exam with
you…”
The invigilating teacher paced slowly around the classroom to the sound of the
announcement.
Xie Yu wrote his name and glanced through the paper.
He had thought that the exam would be about as difficult as the monthly exams, but now he
noticed two new question types.
Then he noticed the box containing the paper-setters’ names included several names of
teachers not from Erzhong.
Erzhong took this exam quite seriously. Four schools had banded together to create this
exam and how their students did would directly correlate to how each school looked in the
eyes of others. …Although Erzhong did not have much of a reputation to begin with and
their average refused to increase no matter what.
Even on the final subject-specific grade sheets, not many students were able to break
formation and move up to a higher row.¹
“So?” After Xie Yu finished a few questions, He Zhao poked him in the back with his pencil.
“How many points are you getting?”
“As many as I want.”
Xie Yu calmly leaned backwards in his chair. “Worried? Beg me and I’ll give you a two-point
head start.”
Many people were playing little tricks in the exam. Someone’s paper wad didn’t land right
and fell into the space between the desks.
He Zhao held his pen in his left hand, and tapped lightly on the back of Xie Yu’s head. “…
You’re very arrogant, little friend. Beg me and I’ll give you a 20-point head start.”
The students in the last exam room were all busy passing answers and had no idea what
the two bottom-of-the-year students were saying in the corner. It was an insane
conversation that would make men go silent and women cry.
This lot only ever wrote their names and class designations without an issue. After that,
they would begin to chew on their pen caps and stare at the questions, unable to absorb a
single word.
Very quickly, they discovered that a certain bottom-of-the-year student, who was usually
right there complaining with them about the difficulty of the questions, was being very
quiet.
With one less complainer, they felt like the exam was missing something. The student at the
side slept for a while, then woke up and saw He Zhao still answering questions. He asked
uncertainly, “Zhao-ge, you seem to be in pretty good form today…?”
He Zhao flipped a page on his exam paper and said, “Yeah, quite good. Erzhong will be
proud to have a student like me.”
“……”
The invigilating teacher had intended to turn a blind eye and not bother with this exam
room, but the students were getting rowdier and rowdier. He put down the book in his
hand and coughed. “Everyone, quiet down.”
The student swallowed back his words of complaint.
Looking at He Zhao, he really couldn’t understand his blind self-confidence.
Xie Yu answered each question succinctly and to the point. When he was done, he checked
the paper from beginning to end, then turned to look at the clock on the wall. He estimated
he could still sleep for half an hour or so.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that He Zhao was still writing the essay portion and was
currently finishing the conclusion.
He Zhao usually didn’t answer the question properly and his handwriting would float off
the ruled lines. Everything he wrote made people think he was bullshitting. This time, he
had reined in all his casualness and his eyes were lowered as he wrote seriously.
After the invigilating teacher’s warning, the exam room was quiet for a few minutes before
the students who needed to pass answers began passing them again. “Give me the answers
and my life will be yours from now on. Bro, I beg of you, do a good deed…”
“Don’t cut in line. Don’t snatch. In this exam room, we need to copy in order—no, wait, bro,
I’ve never seen you before. Are you new?”
“……”
Xie Yu had not paid close attention to what He Zhao had written for his essay, but when he
put his head on his hands and closed his eyes, he heard the neighboring row chatting and
he suddenly remembered He Zhao’s essay, Silhouette, from last semester.
They’d passed answers in this exam room.
They’d racked their brains for how to write a perfect zero-point essay that stayed as far
from the essay prompt as possible.
They’d also held hands.
It was like a wondrous yet absurd dream.
Xie Yu fell asleep while thinking. He faintly heard Dean Jiang announce over the intercom,
“Fifteen minutes left till the end of the exam. Students, watch the time.”
The answers that needed to be passed had all been passed. The 120 minutes they spent in
this exam room dragged on. In the poor students’ gathering grounds, everyone gradually
quieted down and tossed down their pens, leaving their fates to the heavens as most of
them fell asleep.
The invigilating teacher shook his head at this incredible sight.
The midterms were much more difficult than the questions they usually did in school.
After the exams were over, everyone was despondent and exhausted. They had no idea
how they would do.
“We’re done for. This time, we’re really done for.” The bell rang after the last exam and
papers were collected. Liu Cunhao turned his paper in and walked out of the exam room
with one hand braced against the wall. He returned to Class 3 with great difficulty and
immediately called out, “Brothers in arms, come and report the war situation.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “I was forced into a corner with nowhere to go.”
Xu Qingqing said, “I couldn’t fight destiny and I couldn’t change my fate.”
Wan Da said, “I died in battle.”
Out of the whole class, only Xie Yu and He Zhao looked unperturbed.
He Zhao was moving his desk back to its spot when he heard Liu Cunhao, and he raised a
hand too. He leaned against the desk, supporting his weight with one hand, and said, “Did
better than usual!”
“……”
Liu Cunhao felt his heart, already shot through with a thousand wounds, thoroughly
shatter.
Xie Yu half-sat on his desk, waiting for Wan Da to move his desk forward. It was blocking
the way so he couldn’t move his. He reached out, caught hold of the back of He Zhao’s collar,
and dragged him over. “Don’t you remember anything? If you keep talking, Hao-zi might
jump off the balcony.”
All the subject teachers were also worried about how their students’ exam grades would
be. Ater invigilating the various exam rooms, they expected the average might hit a historic
low.
Several teachers gathered in the faculty office to discuss grades. “I’m quite worried. Before,
we were just two or three points shy of the other schools. This time it might be five or six
points.”
“Especially math. The questions this time were very difficult. We usually drill them on the
foundations and they don’t usually do questions like these.”
Halfway through the conversation, the teachers seemed to remember something and called
out, “Old Tang, aren’t you going to Shisizhong this weekend to grade papers?”
When the four schools set exams together, each school would send several teachers to the
other schools to help grade papers.
This time, the second-year teachers’ group was sending Tang Sen and Wu Zheng to grade
the papers. Old Tang had just packed up his things and was about to go to class. On hearing
this, he said, “Yes, Mr. Wu and I.”
Grading was hard work and a full day of grading strained the eyes. No teacher wanted to
grade on the weekends.
“It’s hard on you two.” The other teachers shook their heads, then exclaimed quietly, “I
wonder how those two from your class did…”
‘Those two’ from Class 3 had been mentioned.
The faculty office sank into silence, then everyone sighed in unison.
Near dismissal time.
When Madam Gu called saying she was at the school gates, He Zhao was earning the ire of
his classmates with the words ‘Did better than usual.’ Liu Cunhao and Luo Wenqiang had
joined forces to chase him down and beat him up.
Seeing that class spirits were low, He Zhao very obligingly let them chase him around to
lighten the mood.
After being chased for a while, He Zhao changed course mid-run and leaped out of the
window, hands braced on the windowsill. His feet caught air. “—Is this how you treat a
classmate? With violence?”
After He Zhao jumped out, he sidled up to Xie Yu. “Old Xie, save me.”
Luo Wenqiang stopped and asked Xie Yu’s opinion as he rolled up his sleeves. “Yu-ge, can I
punch him?”
On the other end of the line, Madam Gu had said a lot but Xie Yu hadn’t paid close attention.
He said, “Mm,” to appease her.
Luo Wenqiang said, “Thanks, Yu-ge! Then I’ll go all out!”
He Zhao: “……”
Xie Yu: “……”
Old Tang left the faculty office carrying a thick stack of homework. Seeing them causing a
ruckus in the corridor, he heaved a sigh of relief. He was worried that these kids might have
been in low spirits due to the exam, but to his surprise they all had strong psychological
constitutions. “All right, everyone go back to class and sit down. Don’t run about like that.”
Liu Cunhao stopped in his tracks. “Sir, when will grades be out?”
“If nothing unexpected happens, we’ll finish grading the papers over the weekend.”
Old Tang thought for a while, then continued, “You’ll have to wait a few more days for
grades to be out.”
Tang Sen left very early the next morning to catch the train to Shisizhong to grade papers.
And he would never have thought that something unexpected would happen, just like that.
“Teachers, thank you for your hard work.” A bespectacled female teacher passed the exam
papers out to the dozen or so teachers packed into a classroom. They fell silent and the only
sound remaining in the classroom was that of turning pages.
Shisizhong was the premier school among A City’s public high schools.
Their graduation rate was not as good as the top-tier high schools, but it was solid.
Shisizhong had prepared several empty classrooms for the teachers to grade papers. Wu
Zheng was next to Tang Sen.
Wu Zheng graded two papers, then took out his spectacles case and put on his glasses. He
looked down and continued filling in points in the score boxes next to the questions.
The process of grading was tedious, but sometimes the teachers would come across some
wrong answers that left them unsure whether to laugh or cry, and they would discuss it.
“This student draws very creative solid geometry figures. All in all… let me count. He drew
13 of them?”
The teachers bowed their heads and graded the exams.
One among the 14 of them was a very respected math teacher. He had taught for several
decades and was one of the question setters for the combined exam. He finished grading a
stack, then took another stack from the side.
But grading this new stack made him frown deeply.
“Mr. Wang, what’s the matter?“
”What is going on with the students in this exam room?”
Mr. Wang flipped over another sheet. He was even more certain now that in this stack of
exam papers, the answers were all copied from each other. Even the mistakes they made
were identical. He was left speechless by these shenanigans. “They’re quite united. In
sharing answers and cheating as a team.”
They weren’t just united. Their teamwork was beyond imagination.

Mr. Wang had run out of patience and quickly graded more than half the papers.
There were two papers remaining. He flipped them over with zero care, wanting only to
leave this ‘united’ exam room as soon as he could. But when he saw the writing on the
answer sheet his hand froze.
The tip of the red pen stopped in midair.
—It was a rather promising answer sheet.

Translation notes:
[1] The grade sheets are ranked by score.

Chapter 100 – Quick-Acting Heart Reliever Pills

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The teachers graded papers all morning and thick stacks of papers lay next to everyone’s
hands. The highest grade anyone had received all morning was 138.
This exam had been difficult and anything above 130 was already considered a good score.
But the answer sheet before Mr. Wang was beautifully written, fully grasped the concepts
being tested, and had impeccable logic. From start to finish, he couldn’t find a single error.
A perfect score.
Mr. Wang’s eyes grew bright.
“Wow.” As he finished grading, he put down his pen, seemingly forgetting the one last
paper he had not yet graded. He flipped through the perfect-score paper and looked it over
several times, exclaiming to himself, “A perfect score. That’s wonderful. I wonder which
school they’re from.”
The rare perfect score not only surprised him, it also washed away the exhaustion of
grading all morning.
The teachers sitting next to Mr. Wang also leaned over to look. “A perfect score?”
“Look on the package. The school name is written there…”
A teacher flipped the package of answer sheets and looked. He was surprised and raised his
voice. “—E-erzhong?”
Wu Zheng was sitting some distance away from the group of Shisizhong teachers.
The more he graded, the more worried he grew about the little brats from his school. He
thought, Look, some other school has already produced a perfect score. He sighed and
stopped for a break.
But the moment he twisted open the cap of a bottle of mineral water, he unexpectedly
heard the word ‘Erzhong.’ “……”
“Ah, Mr. Wu, he’s from your school!”
Wu Zheng screwed the bottle cap back on. “You read it wrong, right?”
“Nope. It’s Liyang Erzhong.”
Wu Zheng was completely stunned. He stood up, nearly tripping over the table leg. “That’s
impossible. Erzhong’s students couldn’t score above 130 if their life depended on it.”
Mr. Wang had to rest for a while to recover from the joy of finding a perfect-score paper.
Then he remembered there was one last paper he hadn’t graded. He turned the perfect-
score paper over, then his hand stilled again.
This time, not only did he pause, his fingers started trembling slightly.
Wu Zheng walked over to Mr. Wang. Before he could pick up the perfect-score paper, his
gaze followed Mr. Wang’s shaking hands and disbelieving gaze and caught sight of the
answer sheet which had not yet been graded. It was an incredibly brazen answer sheet.
Next to the grade sheet, the owner of the answer sheet had already written a striking figure
in black pen: 150.
The handwriting was carefree and the strokes were energetic.
Wu Zheng: “……”
“What a farce.” Mr. Wang took two deep breaths, then said, “Mr. Wu, the students from your
school sure have character. Giving himself a perfect score?”
Wu Zheng said, “No…” He wanted to say, surely this moron isn’t a student from our school?
How could our school turn out a student like this?
And he had no recollection of this handwriting, either.
Before Wu Zheng could continue, Mr. Wang cut him off. “Fine. I want to see if he actually
gets a perfect score.”
This anonymous student had not only pre-given himself a perfect grade, he had filled up the
whole exam paper, as if he was showing off his skills. For every long-answer question he
had written down three or four ways of solving it.
Sometimes, on the side of the question was written a note, as if the test taker had too much
free time. This question won’t do. What was the question setter thinking?
Mr. Wang, who was the question setter for the combined exam: “……”
Xie Yu still had no idea what a ruckus his and He Zhao’s math papers had caused for the
exam graders. He also did not know that the teachers had nearly had to call an ambulance
right there in Shisizhong’s grading area.
In the morning, Xie Yu paid a visit to Black Water Street.
When he got off the bus, he remembered that Aunt Mei had mentioned in the group chat
that she had a cough, so he visited a pharmacy on the way to pick up some medicine for her.
Class 3 was still calculating scores in their group chat. Since the previous night, the chat had
not stopped vibrating with updates.
[Wan Da]: I’m finished. No matter how I look at it, I’m only getting a 90+ for math.
[Liu Cunhao]: @LuoWenQiang, Qiang-ge, what are you posting on your dash? It’s flooding
my screen.
[Luo Wenqiang]: I heard that if I reblog it a miracle will happen.
While the pharmacist was ringing up the bill, Xie Yu tapped into Luo Wenqiang’s profile
and glanced at it.
Luo Wenqiang had reblogged a lot of strange things. ‘Reblog this stone.’ ‘Reblog this magic
restaurant napkin.’ ‘Reblog this lucky talisman.’
“……”
[Liu Cunhao]: Does this stuff really work?
[Luo Wenqiang]: Cure a dead horse as if it’s alive,¹ right? Look at the comments. Someone
said he ‘struck it rich and is coming back to return the favor.’ Looks pretty legit.
[Wan Da]: I reblogged.
[Xu Qingqing]: I reblogged.
Xie Yu paid and walked to Guang Mao with complicated feelings. He thought to himself,
Class 3 really is trying.
Xu Yanmei was currently in a conference room holding a meeting. Although she ran a
clothing wholesale market, she ran meetings like a mob boss.
Cigarette smoke circled through the room.
“What on earth! Sell, my goddamn ass. Did I not make it clear enough or is there something
wrong with his brain?”
Xu Yanmei stubbed out her cigarette then pulled another one from the box. Holding it
between her teeth with the ease of practice, she lit it one-handed, then slammed the lighter
onto the table with a crash. “Who’s up to settle this score with me!”
She was yelling so loudly that she did not notice the extra person standing in the
conference room doorway.
“What are we settling?”
Xie Yu, several boxes of medicine in hand, watched her from the conference room doorway.
He didn’t look too happy. “You’re smoking pretty happily there.”

Everyone knew that the Big Sis of Guang Mao was scared of neither heaven nor earth, but
the one thing she feared was her godson. Everyone else had the self-awareness to walk out.
“We’re going, Mei-jie. We’ll go settle the score with you. If there’s anything, just call and
we’ll be there.”
Xu Yanmei had nowhere to hide the cigarette. “About this, I can explain…”
Xie Yu frowned. He had no patience to listen. “Hand over the cigarette.”
Xu Yanmei shut up.
Xie Yu stubbed the cigarette right out.
They hadn’t seen each other for a while. The kid seemed to have grown again.
Xu Yanmei was now a head shorter, and Xie Yu had claimed the moral high ground the
moment he arrived. She paused for a while, then remembered the matter of grades. “Wait a
minute, brat. I haven’t settled the score with you. If Lei-zi hadn’t told me—”
Xu Yanmei grabbed the plastic clothes rack at her side and brought it down, and Xie Yu
endured several hits.
Xie Yu said, “Of course you’ve settled it. How many times have you settled this with me?”
Over winter vacation, Xu Yanmei had exploded in the Weixin group chat. Then she had
called and sent him videos. If he had not stopped her, she might have gotten a cab and come
over from B City overnight.
“You’re still talking back?”
“Fine, it’s my fault.” Xie Yu pushed open a window for air and put the medicine he held on
the table. Then he said, “I’ll score first place in the mid-term exams for you.”
The top places on the grade sheet for each year were always the same people. Everyone
else wished that grades would never be released, only this group wanted them to be
released quickly so they could see who had scored first place this time.
But this time, the people waiting for grades to be released quickly consisted not only of
these good students, but also the dozens of people in Class 3.
Monday.
All of Class 3 arrived early. After entering the classroom, they didn’t even wait to put down
their schoolbags before getting together and discussing grades.
Occasionally, someone from Class 4 next door walked by.
The two groups stared silently at each other for a while. Class 3 had no confidence, but they
wouldn’t lose in attitude. They quietly straightened their backs.
“Do you think grades will be out by today?”
“Probably. All the papers were graded over the weekend, right? Everything else about
Erzhong aside, our school is top-notch at grading things quickly. During the last monthly
exam, I hadn’t even prepared how I was going to meet my death and the grades were
already out.”
“Old Tang said before it might be a few more days.”
“Wan Da, how about you go to the faculty office and suss out the situation?”
Wan Da, bearing a heavy responsibility on his shoulders, crouched at the door of the faculty
office for several minutes.
The atmosphere in the faculty office felt slightly amiss, but he couldn’t put his finger on
what it was. Perhaps it was too quiet. But he still hadn’t found out anything and was
wondering if he should keep listening when Old Tang pulled the door open and walked out.
Wan Da swiftly sneaked toward the toilet.
Old Tang said in a low voice, “…Stop hiding. Come here for a minute.”
It was rush hour and people thronged through the school gates. The whole street was jam-
packed with parents’ cars so tightly even water couldn’t flow through.
Xie Yu leaned against the bus window, the cord of his earphones snaking out from his
uniform pocket. The English listening comprehension test he was listening to was just
wrapping up and entering the answer phase. But it was drowned out by the sound of cars
honking from the intersection up ahead.
He glanced down to adjust the volume and saw several texts He Zhao had sent.
Little friend.
Are you on the way?
I’m waiting for you at the bus station.
He Zhao sent the text and waited for a while, then someone unexpectedly tapped him on
the shoulder from behind.
Xie Yu had one hand stuck in his pockets and hadn’t removed his earphones. People milled
about and the street was a sea of school uniforms. Xie Yu was wearing the same thing as
everyone else, but he was still eye-catching. “Let’s go. What are you just standing there
for?”
He Zhao had not seen the bus come this way. He asked, “You walked over here?”
Xie Yu said, “The front way was too jammed.”
“Was it jammed or did you want to see me?”
“Please, be less shameless.”
“I’m going to give my boyfriend one last chance.”
“It was jammed.”
Xie Yu was walking in front, but now he slowed his footsteps and replied again, “I came to
see you, all right, ge?”
They walked to the base of the classroom building and had just rounded the corner into the
stairwell when they bumped into Wan Da.
It was early in the morning but he was already up to something. He was squatting in the
stairwell entryway and he gave He Zhao a fright. “Fuck, what are you doing?”
Wan Da had squatted in the stairwell entryway for nearly ten minutes precisely so he
would be able to catch them.
“Old Tang told me to wait here for you.”
Wan Da had squatted for so long his legs were numb. He pulled himself up using the railing,
then said, “He told me to tell you to go to the office immediately. Did you two do
something?”
They hadn’t done anything, per se.
At most, they had given the subject teachers each reasons to take a few Quick-Acting Heart
Reliever pills.
Wu Zheng was standing by the water cooler. He got his water, but still felt like he couldn’t
catch his breath. “Mr. Tang, do you still have any? Give me two more…”
In front of Tang Sen were placed Quick-Acting Heart Reliever pills and several exam papers.
These exam papers all hadperfect scores, or near-perfect scores.
He flipped open each exam paper again and took a second look. At the upper right corner,
where the name box was.
Student’s name: Xie Yu.
Student’s name: He Zhao.
When the papers were done being graded, he and Wu Zheng stayed in the Shisizhong
classroom and sat face to face in silence for more than half an hour.
In all the years since Erzhong had been founded—the school had never seen such grades.
Not only did they easily beat out the rest of the four schools, this was a rare sight even in
the top-tier school Tang Sen had taught at before.
Xie Yu and He Zhao left and didn’t return for a long time.
Wan Da was so unbearably curious he couldn’t sit still. “Does this count as skipping class in
broad daylight? Where on earth did they go? What are they doing?”
Liu Cunhao, whom Wan Da had nagged at all morning, was getting a headache. “Instead of
sitting here, why don’t you go and do your professional duty during lunch?
Wan Da said, “Hao-zi, that’s a good idea.”
The whereabouts of the two big bros were still a mystery, but Wan Da unearthed an
unexpected piece of news.
Wan Da had many friends and knew people in every class. When he went to Class 7,
someone was carrying a stack of homework on the way back from the faculty office. He
tapped Wan Da’s shoulder and said, “Do you know what your class average is?”
Wan Da looked back, hands still on the windowsill. “Ah? Our class average?”
“Yeah. Fucking impressive. I wondered if my eyes had gone bad.”
The guy hadn’t seen the details, but he had glanced at the class averages on the teacher’s
screen. He was still in shock now. “Higher than the year average by 4-point-something
points.”
Wan Da said, “…Your eyes are bad, surely.”
After thrice-verifying that this piece of information was accurate, Wan Da walked on cloud
nine all the way back to class. In his mind, all that remained was the thought, I must have
done very well this time around!
No! Our Class 3 surely all did very well this time around!
We’ve changed our fate!
“His eyes are bad.”
When Wan Da returned to the classroom, his terrible grades for every subject were there to
welcome him. The subject reps had distributed the exam papers. Liu Cunhao’s face was
pale as he slammed down the papers Wan Da had failed. “His eyes are definitely bad. Look
for yourself. Four-point-something, with scores like this? You’re dreaming.”
Wan Da refused to give up. Staring at his awful grades, he sank into thought. “…What about
everyone else in class?”
Liu Cunhao waved his own papers. “About the same.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “My ability is average and my performance is the same.”
“……”
“It’s true.” Xu Qingqing passed the English papers out and heard them discussing the class
average. After hesitating, she said, “It’s true. 4.6. I saw it, too.”
Right up until the class bell rang, Class 3 couldn’t make heads or tails of where the 4.6 had
come from
No one discovered that two exam papers had been held back and not distributed.
Luo Wenqiang’s horizons had been broadened and he decided he was now a believer in
mysticism.² “Did my good luck reblogs really work miracles?”
“Think more rationally, will you?” As Liu Cunhao spoke, he immediately began a new train
of thought. “Can we think about how badly the other classes did this time?”
The two people whose whereabouts Wan Da was unbearably curious about were currently
re-taking the exam in an empty classroom.
Xie Yu wasn’t surprised by this turn of events at all. Anyone would find it hard to accept
that the two students with the lowest grades in the year suddenly scored highest in the
year, and that their total score across all subjects was far ahead of all the exam-taking
students in the four schools, forming an uncrossable gap.
When they were told to retake the test, Xie Yu didn’t outwardly react much. He said, “Sir,
there’s one issue.”
Old Tang was considerate of them and feared that their young souls had been hurt. He
hurriedly explained, “It’s not that we don’t trust you. This is because…”
“The exam duration is too long.”
“Ah?”
Xie Yu said, “I don’t need that much time. Half an hour is enough.”
“……”
He Zhao had no objections to retaking the test, but he had one concern. “Why did I only
score 148 on the math paper?”
Wu Zheng quietly grasped the bottle of Quick-Acting Heart Reliever pills tighter.
“The two points deducted were for handwriting.”
Wu Zheng steadied himself, then said, “…Brat, you criticized the question-setter on the
paper itself for not setting good enough questions and you thought you’d score a 150?”
Translation notes:
[1] Cure a dead horse as if it’s alive: Make a last-ditch attempt
[2] Xuanxue: A philosophy from the Wei-Jin era with roots in Taoism and Confucianism.
Also called ‘New Taoism’.

Chapter 101 – Old Xie, run.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Class was about to start and the noise in the corridor gradually quieted.
Wu Zheng sat by the podium, eyes fixed unblinkingly on the two special ‘exam takers.’
There were only three people total in the classroom so it looked empty. One of them
finished answering the questions, tossed his pen, then lay down on the table to sleep. From
where Wu Zheng sat, he could only see the back of his head.
Another one of them had too much free time and nothing to do, and was doodling on
scratch paper with pen in hand.
Before Xie Yu lay down, only one thought remained in his head: half an hour is still a little
too long.
He had not napped for very long before he faintly felt an intense gaze on him. It made him
feel uneasy, so he opened his eyes again and met his boyfriend’s unconcealed, assessing
gaze. “……”
“What are you two doing? If you’re done with the exam, turn it in.”
Wu Zheng glanced at his wristwatch. Generously speaking, the two of them had been taking
this math paper for about twenty minutes. He knew they were close deskmates but they
were even making eyes at each other in front of him.
Wu Zheng really didn’t know what to say to them. Over the last two days he had taken
many emotional blows and now he really couldn’t take it any more. “Turn it in, turn it in.
Turn it in and then hurry back to class.”
From start to finish, the word ‘cheating’ had not crossed Wu Zheng’s mind. Instead, Wu
Zheng was thinking more along the lines of ‘did these two go out together for a walk over
winter vacation and get struck by lightning… so hard it broke their brains.’
Not even cheating could explain these grades.
The elaborate way He Zhao had answered the questions—which cheating student would
make so much trouble for themselves? And where would they find answer keys like that?
“Hold on.”
Xie Yu had just taken two steps when he heard Wu Zheng calling them again.
Wu Zheng cleared his throat and asked, “Did you two go out over winter vacation for any
events?”
He Zhao had no idea what he meant by this and answered, “Yes. We went to karaoke?”
Wu Zheng really wanted to ask how the weather had been that day, if there had been a
thunderstorm, and, most importantly, if lightning had struck both of them. He steadied
himself, then swallowed all his nonsensical questions one by one and waved a hand
dismissively. “That’s all. Hurry up and go.”
Literature, math, English, and combined science. They took exams all morning.
They had been told it was a new exam, but each paper was just ten major questions. None
of them were ordinary questions, however. The difficulty was comparable to those of the
top tier schools.
When Xie Yu turned in his paper, the questions from each subject test were still rattling
around in his mind.
He was still thinking about them when someone abruptly shoved a piece of paper into his
hand. “What is this?”
Outside the classroom, the midday sun shone hotly on them. He Zhao unzipped his jacket
and said, “A master is giving this gift to you. A masterpiece.”
Xie Yu straightened the sheet of scratch paper in his hand. Aside from a messy set of
calculations, there was also an abstract-style line drawing.
The lines were messy, and it was only faintly recognizable as a human figure. If not for Xie
Yu remembering that this guy had been staring at him the entire time they were retaking
the exams, he would have no way of telling who the subject of the drawing was.
……Masterpiece, my ass.
He Zhao was quite confident in his drawing skills. “Surprised?”
“Surprised, yes.” Xie Yu slowly folded the scratch paper up again, then beckoned to him.
“Come over.”
He Zhao leaned over and was about to say, “I don’t expect a lot, just kiss me on the cheek,”
when he took several direct hits and was nearly kicked down the stairs.
Wu Zheng heard the commotion in the corridor, shook his head, and looked back down at
the exam papers in front of him.
In the combined exams of the four schools, Erzhong had produced two top scores.
After these grades had been verified to be right, the explosive news quickly spread
throughout the year. Then, it spread not only in year 2, but through the whole school.
These grades were so high it was ridiculous. All the subjects featured perfect or near-
perfect scores, and there was a 3-digit point difference from the 3rd in the year.
Class 3 was not self-aware at all and was still consumed with the notion that ‘the other
classes must have done very badly.’
The first afternoon class period was Old Tang’s.
The grades had been calculated. Old Tang, knowing they were anxious to find out their
grades, brought the grade sheet along with the class material. He planned to analyze their
grades with them so that they could lay out rules and study goals for the second half of the
term.
“Our class average is higher than the year average by 4.6 points…”
Xie Yu chased He Zhao all the way to the class doorway, where they heard Class 3 cheer so
loudly they might have torn off the school roof. “Have they gone mad?”
Xie Yu covered his ears and gave a noncommittal response.
Wan Da was the first to jump up and yell, “It’s real!”
Liu Cunhao’s eyes were growing red. He was a grown man but he only needed to blink to
shed a tear. “We actually really did it!”
Luo Wenqiang said, “This is a miracle! We worked a miracle!”
“……”
Old Tang didn’t quite understand why they were so moved. “Wait, I haven’t…”
But Liu Cunhao and the others couldn’t wait at all. They had only half-believed this class
average before, but now that Old Tang had personally confirmed it, an unbelievable wild
joy enveloped them all.
—Their class had really succeeded in changing their own fate! By their own strength, even
dragging the two bottom-of-the-year students behind them, they had dragged their class
average up!
They were unbelievably impassioned.
Until Xie Yu crooked a finger, face blank, and knocked twice on the door. “Reporting in.”
“You two are just in time. Come over and stand by the side.”
Old Tang flipped a page of the grade sheet and kept wondering how to make this
announcement.
All of Class 3 looked at the two bottom-of-the-year students standing side by side next to
the podium. Xie Yu looked like he had not gotten enough sleep. He leaned against the wall,
hands stuck in his pockets.
“This is what happened. This time around, the first place and second place in the year both
came from our class. Classmate Xie Yu scored 150 in math, 146 in literature, 148 in English,
300 in combined science, and came first with a total score of 744…”
“He Zhao scored one point less in total, but…”
Before Old Tang finished, there was a crash from the classroom floor.
Liu Cunhao had fallen off his chair, taking the chair with him. As he was falling, he had tried
to catch the edge of his desk to steady himself, but had missed and fallen flat on the floor.
“……”
Wan Da, his deskmate, didn’t hold out a hand to him. “Does it hurt? It probably doesn’t. This
is a dream, so it wouldn’t hurt.”
Not only had all of Class 3—who had just a moment ago been yelling ‘We’re awesome, we
worked a miracle’—sunk into a stunned stupor, Class 4 next door wasn’t much better off
either.
Liang Hui’s face went green, then white.
During gym class that morning, he had already bought drinks and distributed them to the
class to celebrate, saying they would definitely soundly beat Class 3.
Every word he had said then was now like a slap to his face, over and over.
Impossible.
“Did they cheat? Those two from that class… is it really true?”
“Don’t make blind accusations. They retook the exam.” Class 4’s homeroom teacher was
also surprised, but despite the surprise, some accusations should not be thrown around.
“The exam setters came up with new questions overnight, even more difficult than the ones
on the midterm.”
The whole class was silent.
Then someone said quietly, “Their grades… they got perfect scores on nearly every
subject.”
Liang Hui was silent and he nearly snapped the pen in his hand in half.
Tang Sen finished announcing grades no one said another word for the rest of the class
period.
Xie Yu took his exam papers, then returned to his seat and continued sleeping.
Liu Cunhao’s butt was still hurting.The pain made him aware that he was not dreaming.
This was goddamn reality… this was real.
While Tang Sen was turned to the blackboard writing class notes, Liu Cunhao turned
around and looked at the back row, his mind still buzzing with static.
—Hao-zi, you ignore me now. But in the future, I’ll climb so high you can’t reach me.
—Old Xie and I have no issues getting a perfect score.
—I can do this question, I really can. Bring it over here and I’ll do it for you to see.
……
Liu Cunhao’s head drooped lower and lower until he buried his face in his hands and
internally cursed, “Fuck.”
Xie Yu wasn’t aware his classmates were internally going through so much. He and He Zhao
had already warned this lot and they didn’t believe it, choosing to be submersed in their
notions of changing their fate.
“How are we going to explain later?” He Zhao poked him with a pen. Liu Cunhao had been
staring at him for a long time and he shot back a smile, then kept asking quietly, “Look at
Hao-zi. He’s looking at me like he wants to kill me.”
Xie Yu didn’t open his eyes and retorted, “What can we say? That you were always this
excellent?”
He Zhao was left with nothing to say.
That morning, in the faculty office, Old Tang had asked them about it, but they hadn’t
known what to say. They hemmed and hawed for a long time and Old Tang thought they
had difficulties they couldn’t talk about, so he didn’t press them, and said, “It’s fine if this
isn’t a good time. When you want to talk about it, come and find me… but I have to tell your
parents about these grades, no matter what the situation is.”
But when Tang Sen called them, Madam Gu was reserved and kept apologizing. “Sorry, sir.
He’s given you trouble.”
He Zhao’s dad had said without preamble, “I know. My son’s always been excellent.”
Old Tang choked. “Ah… all right, He Zhao’s dad. As long as you’re aware of the situation.”
The dismissal bell rang just as Old Tang finished delivering the new content he had
prepared.
He also assigned them a few sets of homework. Then he realized the students were still
frozen in their chairs. “Next class is gym, but you’re still sitting there? This isn’t like you.
You like my class so much?”
When Old Tang packed his things and left the classroom, Liu Cunhao, as the class rep,
slowly stood up. “Explain this?”
As Liu Cunhao finished, the rest of Class 3 looked in unison to the back row.
For the first time, Xie Yu felt a stifling atmosphere emanating from his classmates.
A set of complicated feelings formed a complex mess. These were rooted in surprise, the
feeling that they had been lied to, and the realization that the tall tales these two had told
and they had refused to believe had turned out to be true in the end.
Class 3 might have associated with Xie Yu for too long because they really wanted to use
violence to vent their feelings and solve the problem.
He Zhao quietly moved backwards, taking his chair with him right to the doorway. He
opened his mouth and bullshitted in an attempt to ease the atmosphere. “Actually, over
winter vacation, Old Xie and I were in a car accident. The night was dark and the wind was
high, and as we walked on the street, an electric motorbike came in our direction…”
When Xie Yu heard the words ‘electric motorbike,’ he nearly snapped. “Are you sick?
Couldn’t you come up with something more normal?”
He Zhao said, “Let me think about it a bit more.”
Before He Zhao could think of anything, Liu Cunhao took the lead, rolling up his sleeves as
he leaped over two rows of desks and walked toward the back row. “Brothers, let’s beat
them up and then we can talk.”
Xue Xisheng went even farther than Liu Cunhao. As he passed by the classroom closet he
picked up a broom on the way.
“Old Xie.” He Zhao stood up and pulled Xie Yu up from his seat. “Run.”

Chapter 102 – Come and deal with me instead?

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Before the word ‘run’ left He Zhao’s mouth, he had already grabbed Xie Yu’s wrist and
dashed out of the classroom.
Class 3 swarmed out after them.

Xie Yu ran down the stairs, taking two steps at a time and jumping down the last few steps
onto the landing. Next class period was gym, anyway, so after leaving the classroom
building they ran straight for the courtyard.
“Fuck?”
Xue Xisheng couldn’t outrun them and after taking two steps he threw the broom. It landed
next to He Zhao’s foot.
“How aggressive.” He Zhao nearly tripped. “Is he really the study rep I know?”
It was an impressive sight, majestic and prominent, so shocking that even the people who
had been making a scene in the corridor now had the self-awareness to return to their
respective classes.
The two infamous school tyrants were hounded by their classmates from the fourth floor
all the way to the ground floor. By the looks of it, they were going to switch venues to the
courtyard and continue the beating. It was pretty much a live brawl.
The other classes simply didn’t dare to make a sound. Only when the main army had gone
downstairs did they all lean over the railings to peer down at the ground floor. They
exclaimed in unison, “How exciting. They’re so formidable.”
“Stay right there! Don’t run!”
“Brothers, go around and cut them off at the track!”
“Qing-ge, you take the girls and ambush them from the left!”
After these strange battle formations were decided, Xue Xisheng yelled across the field,
anger rising sharply, “You purposely dragged the class average down—you’re too much!
You have no team pride at all!”
“……”
This was the first time in Xie Yu’s life being chased multiple rounds around the quad. No
matter where he ran, people surrounded him and he felt both perplexed and pathetic.
As he ran, he nudged the person beside him with his forearm. “Do we keep running?”
Over the course of several rounds, Class 3 changed their battle tactics several times. Like
zombies in the game Dead Rising, they threw themselves at the two from all directions.
He Zhao was scared of this lot, too. He took a breath and stopped. “Let’s stop running then.
We could run all class period and not get away.”
Soon after they stopped, Liu Cunhao pounced on Xie Yu from behind. Xie Yu was thrown off
balance by the tackle and fell forward onto He Zhao.
He Zhao didn’t have time to do anything other than catch hold of Xie Yu’s waist.
The next moment, he lost his balance too.
“Brothers,” Liu Cunhao yelled, having caught hold of Xie Yu, “We got them—”
Luo Wenqiang swiftly ran over from the other side of the track. As he ran, he majestically
took off his jacket and tossed it into the grass, then leaped to firmly land sprawled on Liu
Cunhao. “If you don’t explain yourselves, neither of you better even think of running away.”
One by one, the guys piled firmly on top of them like stacking Luohan¹ and kept them firmly
pressed to the track.
It was very noisy by Xie Yu’s ear.
Xie Yu looked down and saw only his boyfriend’s Adam’s apple. He glanced further down
and saw He Zhao’s open uniform collar.
He Zhao was about to say, ‘That’s enough, don’t pile on any more,’ but before he could get
the words out he met Xie Yu’s eyes.
They were too close.
Both caught unaware, they stared at each other for several seconds, stunned.
Liu Cunhao had only intended to pin down the class’s two big bros. When Luo Wenqiang,
the heavyweight, pounced, he too was squashed till he couldn’t breathe. “Gym rep, how
much do you weigh? Couldn’t it have been someone else?”
Luo Wenqiang was aggrieved. “Hao-zi, you don’t want me?”
Xie Yu and He Zhao looked at each other for a moment. Who knew which of them started
laughing first, but the laughter was contagious, passing between them through the
vibration of their chests.
Xie Yu, still laughing, averted his eyes, and propped himself up on his arms on the rubber
track surface. Without looking back, he said to the people on top of his back, “Are you sick?
Get off.”
Several bright whistle sounds cut short the ‘Stacking Luohan’ activity.
The gym teacher walked out of the office holding a stopwatch. “That pile over there—yes,
that’s you all—get in a line. Don’t all crowd.”
Hearing this, Luo Wenqiang and the others hurriedly stood up.
Xie Yu felt the weight on his body lift and was about to get off He Zhao, but before he could
lever himself up He Zhao called him. “Xie Yu.”
“Ah?”
He Zhao said nothing.
He Zhao lifted his upper body. With this movement, his uniform jacket slid downward
slightly, making his clothing look mussed. His lips lightly grazed the side of Xie Yu’s face
before landing lightly at the base of Xie Yu’s ear.
It was soundless, but it tickled.
By now several classes had arrived at the courtyard and there were also a few groups who
hadn’t left from the last class period.
He Zhao leaned backward. While no one was looking, he pulled further apart and smiled as
he said, “Kiss me.”
Once everyone had fallen in line, the gym teacher waved the stopwatch in his hand and
said, “We’ll try out long distance today. I was watching you from the window and saw you
already did a few laps to warm up. Not bad. You’re very enthusiastic. So let’s start now.
Boys, follow me first.”
1000m.
Everyone complained.
They had already expended a lot of energy in the ten minutes between classes so when the
gym teacher yelled, “Ready—run!” everybody flat out couldn’t muster the energy. They
slowly jogged forward and the runtime they scored was right at the passing mark.
After running 2 and a half laps, everyone else collapsed on the floor aside from the two big
bros who had superhuman stamina.
The gym teacher finished recording the times, then let them remain in their state of group
paralysis and went over to the girls’ group to time the 800m. “Girls, prepare.”
Xie Yu bent at the waist, hands on his knees, and breathed deeply.
He Zhao sat to the side of the track and someone jostled him from behind.

“What’s the matter with you two?” Wan Da retracted his hand, but two seconds after sitting
up he nearly lost his balance and lay back down. He asked the key question. “…I really want
to know your secret to getting better grades.”
He Zhao motioned for him to come over.
With his last shred of strength, Wan Da nudged himself a few centimeters closer to He
Zhao’s side.
“Extra-strength brain-enhancing pills. Improves memory. No matter how complicated the
formulas and concepts, you need only read them once and you won’t forget them.” He
Zhao’s voice dropped lower and lower as he spoke, and it really sounded true. “Look for TB
shop xxx. It has good reviews and a return policy and you can even redeem 1 yuan cash
back.”
Wan Da quietly made a note of the Taobao shop name. “Is that true, Zhao-ge?”
He Zhao said, “You believed that?”
Wan Da: “……”
Xie Yu was the closest and he thought to himself that He Zhao’s skill at bullshitting with his
eyes closed had improved by leaps and bounds again.
After running another two laps, Liu Cunhao and the others were tired, but they were also
now unexpectedly clearheaded.
This issue was difficult to ask about. And regardless of what their real reasons were, Class 3
shouldn’t use them as idle entertainment. Besides, having made a scene just now, Class 3
had more or less vented their feelings.
Liu Cunhao slapped the back of Wan Da’s head and tried to change the subject. “Do you
think Class 4 should kneel down and call us father?”
“I nearly forgot.” Luo Wenqiang tilted his head back and drank water, then said, “When
class lets out later, I’m going to stand outside Class 4 and walk around. Give them a hint.
Anyone want to go with me?”
Go, my foot. Xie Yu didn’t quite want to imagine what ‘standing around outside Class 4’
would look like.
This was idiotic.
Xie Yu said, “Don’t look at me. I’m not going.”
Xie Yu and He Zhao had been Class 3’s pillars in terms of good looks before, and now they
were the class’s pillars of grades. Even though they didn’t want to go, Class 3 dragged them
to Class 4’s entrance and walked around a few times.
“Think about how you treated us,” Luo Wenqiang said as he walked. “You have the cheek
not to go?”
“Of course we do.”
“……”
Liang Hui had been trying to digest this matter since noon and still couldn’t. He couldn’t
concentrate at all in class and all he could think of was the heaven-defying ‘744.’
The next class period, he turned and saw Class 3 all standing in a line in the corridor,
looking in through the window at Class 4.
Everyone in this line wore a colorful expression except for Xie Yu, whose face was blank.
All of them looked down at Class 4 with impossible pride and arrogance.
Especially Class 3’s class rep. He could have been looking at Liang Hui with his nostrils.
Since noon, when grades were released, till school let out in the evening, the school forum’s
hottest and most popular thread was no longer a certain two big bros’ CP thread, but the
two heaven-defying grade sheets.
All kinds of rumors emerged and discussion ran wild.
Evening self-study ended.
Xie Yu showered, pulled open the private bathroom door and came out. He heard his phone
ring on his desk and went to look at his notifications while still towelling his hair.
In the notification list was a link from Wan Da leading to a forum thread. Several words in
large font made up the headline: Shocking! The two top students may have been in an
accident that injured their brains!
“……”
[Wan Da]: This is your and Zhao-ge’s image now.
[Wan Da]: They even want you two to go to the hospital to have your brains checked…
Xie Yu glanced at it. The more he read, the more ridiculous it got. There were posts about
high-tech brain transfer technologies, genetic mutation, and even topic drifts such as
‘transmigration’ and ‘rebirth.’
When He Zhao knocked on the door and entered carrying a mock paper, Xie Yu had just
closed out of that very imagination-rich thread.
His little friend was wearing only a thin, loose-fitting vest and his hair was still dripping
wet.
He had rubbed it nearly dry and now he pulled off the towel, then ran his fingers lightly
through his hair combing it backwards. As he brought the wisps of hair covering his
forehead backwards, his features seemed even more defined, cold and clean-cut.
He Zhao had brought practice questions with him but he completely forgot about them
after seeing Xie Yu. “What are you looking at?”
“Idiotic forum posts.”
“The one Wan Da made?” He Zhao shut the door and continued, “The novel someone wrote
in there is quite good. Did you see it? It was called… Reborn as an Erzhong Top Student.”
Xie Yu said, “I read some of it.”
He Zhao put the mock paper on the desk, then sat on the side of the bed watching Xie Yu
bent over picking up his clothes.
Xie Yu stuffed his discarded clothes into the laundry hamper, thought about something,
then went to pick up the jacket at the foot of the bed. As he touched the piece of clothing, He
Zhao caught hold of his hand.
“Leave the tidying,” He Zhao said. “Come and deal with me instead?”

Translation notes:
[1] Stacking Luohan: Human pyramid formation, usually seen in gymnastics or
performances. Named after the 18 Luohan, whose story was sometimes used by
performing troupes in their shows which also featured human pyramids.

Chapter 103 – Get over here. Didn’t you want me to deal with you?
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“You need dealing with?”
“That’ll depend on how you want to deal with me. For instance, if it’s fighting on the bed…”
Xie Yu didn’t retract his hand, leaving it trapped under He Zhao’s.
Then he lowered his eyes and leaned down without a second word. Different from the
furtive kiss earlier that day on the courtyard under everyone’s eyes, this kiss was harsh
without any attempt to hide it.
All remaining words were extinguished between their interlocking lips and teeth.
Xie Yu opened his mouth a little, revealing a row of small teeth. As if in revenge, he bit the
corner of He Zhao’s mouth.
He Zhao had been teased to the point of losing his rationality. He moved his hands upward
along the waist of the person in his arms, his hand half-hidden by the hem of Xie Yu’s vest.
At the bite, he couldn’t hold back a hiss.
Outside, in the corridor, people were walking to and fro.
Someone seemed to have lost something. There was a commotion.
“Is it over there?”
“I didn’t see it. Look over there again. Quick, before the lights go out.”
“……”
The footsteps continued intermittently.
Separated from it by the door, Xie Yu couldn’t help his breathing growing shallower, all the
nerves in his body dialed up to their highest sensitivity. He Zhao held onto his waist and
moved upward and Xie Yu felt his temperature rise where the hands touched.
“You’re hard.”
Xie Yu half-opened his eyes. Seeing that he had bitten a suggestive mark on the corner of He
Zhao’s mouth, he said hoarsely, “You’re not much better off.”
Last time hadn’t gone so well.
It had been both of their first times. He Zhao hadn’t known how to treat his partner and he
hadn’t been completely relaxed, either.
But they were both at the age where their blood ran hot. Often they couldn’t control
themselves and as they messed around, sparks turned into fire.
He Zhao was still worried. He had filled in the gaps in his knowledge by looking online, but
putting it into practice was another matter. “Did it really hurt?”
Ever since he was young, Xie Yu did not let out a frown even when he got injured. He had a
high pain tolerance and previously when he had said it hurt, it was mostly because he
hadn’t slept well all night and was more frustrated than anything. “It wasn’t so bad.”
“Actually, I hurt too.”
He Zhao coughed awkwardly and said, “You were too tight.”
By the time He Zhao had finished speaking, Xie Yu had taken off his shirt. His hand rested at
He Zhao’s waist and he reached for his waistband.
Xie Yu’s upper body was bare and beneath his narrow, exquisite collarbones the V-line of
his pelvis disappearing into his waistband. As Xie Yu moved, the red string on his wrist slid
downward a little, the red bean coming to rest on the jut of his wristbone.
It was nearly summer, but the nights had still been on the cooler side.
Xie Yu had intended to undo He Zhao’s waistband, but now his hands wandered
inappropriately through the material, touching a certain place. He raised his eyes and said,
“Get over here. Didn’t you want me to deal with you?”
He Zhao supported himself against the side of the bed and felt his throat grow tight.
Xie Yu caught him off guard by taking initiative and all his self-control crumbled away.
…One day he would die at this person’s hands.
Lights out.
The whole building went dark and the only remaining light came from the streetlamps
outside.
Xie Yu was held down under He Zhao, one arm braced on the edge of the bed. Unwilling to
show weakness, he levered himself half up to kiss him.
“Zhao-ge.”
The tail end of his voice went a little hoarse. He called again, “Ge.”
Xie Yu had already gotten He Zhao’s jeans mostly undone and they hung loosely at his
waist.
He let go of Xie Yu’s chin and leaned down, following the line of his waist downward.
Xie Yu gave a muffled groan and was rendered completely speechless.
Xie Yu rarely submitted. Even in bed, even being held down and touched, he was very
stubborn. He Zhao’s hand had been lightly holding the back of his neck, but now he gasped
and moved it upwards several inches, landing in Xie Yu’s hair.
It was soft.
And there was also the low moan, stifled, bitten back and held down, that belonged to him.
Eventually, in the pitch darkness before his eyes.
Xie Yu heard He Zhao repeat his name several times, very close by, right next to his ear. The
voice mingled with the overwhelming pleasure.
……
Xie Yu, who had recovered his ‘top student’ status less than 24 hours ago, walked into class
the next day and immediately lay down on his desk to catch up on sleep.
He didn’t pay attention to class all morning.
He sat in the last row, head pillowed in the crook of his elbow, looking very languid. His
hair fell over his face, which was only half-visible. His features were chilly and even asleep
he gave off an aura that made people afraid to get close to him.
The stack of textbooks on his desk seemed to be brand new and showed no signs of having
been used. Anyone who looked at him would not have associated him with the top scorer in
the 4-school combined exams.
If not for the grade sheet from the combined exams, which had been put up on the
noticeboard, the teachers and students who looked at the familiar back of his head might
have thought that everything that happened yesterday had been a dream.
Every class period, after the dismissal bell rang, there would be students from other classes
outside the window who snuck over for a look.
Before, they had come to see the school tyrants, but now they had another thought: This
was a walking 744 points. 744 points they wouldn’t see even in their dreams.
He Zhao reflected on himself, wondering if he had lost control and been too rough again
last night. But he concluded he had not. Last night, this guy had clearly been overcome and
even asked him to go faster. “Does it still hurt?”
“Tired.”
“Then how were your ge’s skills? I think your last assessment was not very objective.”
Xie Yu did not want to bother with him. “Can you get lost?”
He Zhao now understood that Xie Yu was the sort who would pretend he didn’t know you
after getting out of bed.
He reached out and ruffled his deskmate’s hair. “All right, sleep then.”
Classroom 2.3 was relatively quiet.
After midterm grades had been released, nearly every class period was spent going over
the exam papers, and after going through the papers, they did corrections for the questions
they got wrong.
When the homework deadline approached, Xu Qingqing looked up from her math paper
and counted the English homework next to her. She found that two people had not turned it
in and called across the walkway between desks, “Zhao-ge, where’s your homework?”
He Zhao put a finger to his lips, indicating to her to be quieter, then answered honestly. “I
didn’t do it.”
Xu Qingqing walked over carrying the stack of homework. She glanced at the sleeping first-
place, then at the second-place watching his deskmate sleep. She really did not understand
the world they lived in.
“Can I ask why you didn’t do it? If the teacher asks later, I won’t know what to say.”
“About that,” He Zhao said, “You can tell her the homework she set was too easy.”
Xu Qingqing: “……”
When Xu Qingqing turned in the English homework, her legs were shaking. She had never
thought that she would say the words, ‘Your homework was too easy,’ to a teacher while
she was alive.
Clearly, in the ten years or so the English teacher had been teaching, she hadn’t
encountered such an issue before either.
The English teacher was silent for a moment, then she put her mug of tea down and said,
“All right, I understand. Leave the papers here.”
“The homework was too easy?”
“Mr. Tang, what on earth is going on with these two from your class?”
Since the day grades were released, the Year 2 group of teachers had not had a moment of
calm while they were in the office.
When Dean Jiang had gotten the news, he had put his pants on backwards and ran over
from the faculty dormitory. “What? How many points?”
Not only Dean Jiang but the rest of Erzhong’s school administration came one after the
other to look at the papers. The principal had stared at the papers for a long time,
speechless, and finally forced out the words, “Good… good job! I’m proud that they are
students of Erzhong! Put this in the school history! Write that Erzhong’s students worked a
miracle, went against the odds, and beat all the four schools!”
Aside from being curious, the other homeroom teachers also couldn’t hide their envy. One
class had produced two students who might score first place in the A City college exams…
“They… have special circumstances.”
Tang Sen didn’t know the details, either. He repeated, “Special circumstances.”
Several teachers were currently discussing it in the faculty office when someone pushed
open the door. The teacher currently getting water from the cooler called out in surprise,
“Miss Xu?”
Xu Xia stood in the office doorway, a document in hand. Her expression was frozen. “I’m…
here to look for Miss Wang. I have a document for her.”
“Miss Wang isn’t here. You can put it on her desk.”
Xu Xia made a soft noise of assent.
She had worked in this office before.
Although it had not been for very long, she was still familiar with the office layout and
decor.
She looked around and eventually, as if possessed, her gaze landed on the desk she had
occupied. Tang Sen was grading homework and felt something. He looked up and met Xu
Xia’s eyes.
Tang Sen wasn’t aware of all this. He smiled at her and considered that a greeting.
Xu Xia smiled too, but her smile was a little forced. “Mr. Tang, I heard that your class
produced two…”
Tang Sen had been deluged by the topic of grades for two days. He had long overcome his
original shock and now just wanted this matter to blow over as quickly as possible so it
wouldn’t disrupt the two kids’ everyday lives. “Ah, no, no. It’s not worth mentioning.”
“……”
Xu Xia would be lying if she said her feelings weren’t complicated. In that complexity, what
remained was mostly regret and dissatisfaction. The two high scores from Class 3 were not
only so shocking it could make one’s glasses fall off, all the subject teachers who taught
Class 3 also shared in the glory.
If she… if she was still teaching this class.
That was what she thought, with some anger.
But she wasn’t sure who she was angry at, either.
Now she suddenly remembered various little details from before. From the first time she
saw them at the start of school to the day of the monthly exams when He Zhao had stood in
the stairwell and asked her, Just because I get bad grades?
Xu Xia didn’t dare keep thinking along those lines. Her face was growing warm.
If she kept thinking, she wouldn’t be able to keep up an appearance of calm.
She didn’t stay any longer. She placed the document on Miss Wang’s desk, turned, and left.
“Xu Xia’s face… you didn’t see it. It was so satisfying.”
Wan Da had slipped back from the faculty office and immediately caught hold of Liu
Cunhao. One of them played Old Tang, the other Xu Xia. They took dramatic footsteps and
yelled, “Ah, I heard your class—”
Liu Cunhao waved a hand calmly. “It’s not worth mentioning.”
Class 3 was in an uproar.
Xie Yu shifted positions but still couldn’t sleep for the noise. He sat up, but he couldn’t get
angry at Wan Da and the others when they had expressions of such silly happiness. He
steadied himself and asked, “What are you doing?”
Seeing he was awake, Wan Da was about to act it out again. Share the joy.
But when he walked over he felt that something was amiss.
Xie Yu had not done up his collar properly and he had been lying down, so after he got up,
his collar had fallen open. Wan Da wondered what his Yu-ge had been up to last night. Such
a rich night life. Now he was so tired he didn’t seem to have any bones in his body.
As Wan Da kept thinking, he glimpsed a very obvious red mark under Xie Yu’s collarbone.
But he only glimpsed it for a moment.
“Yu-ge, didn’t you close your dorm window properly?”
Xie Yu tugged his open collar closed. “Window?”
Wan Da remembered last time and thought Xie Yu probably had type O blood and attracted
a lot of bugs and mosquitoes. He said, “It’s nearly summer. Check your window screen.”
“……”
Xie Yu had no idea what he was talking about.

Chapter 104 – Best-case scenario, I can see him when I open my eyes
every day.
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Class 3 gathered around the back row.
Xie Yu reached for the bottle of water at the corner of his desk and watched Wan Da
dramatically act it out again.
He Zhao was obligingly supportive, as always. “Very good, very good. You act well.”
“Thank you.” Wan Da gave a fist salute. “All thanks go to my countrymen for supporting
me.”
Xie Yu initially thought it uninteresting. He took a sip of water, then flipped his hand and
screwed the bottlecap back on. But they were laughing so hard that in the end he couldn’t
help but laugh along with them. “…You all have nothing better to do?”
Actually, before pulling his grades back up, Xie Yu had hesitated a little.
But he gradually came to realize that whether his grades were good or not—whether his
grades pulled the class average down so low it made people want to shut their eyes and
jump down from a high floor or pushed the class average ‘4.6 points higher’ like now—this
lot’s attitude towards him didn’t change much.
At first, he had wanted to beat them all up, but after a while he had more or less processed
his feelings.
When Liu Cunhao came to look for He Zhao to ask him how to do a problem, he even
laughed. “I really have to give in to you two. You really are the first of the big bros of our
school… whether counting from the top or from the bottom.”
“What does that mean? Is that praise or an insult?”
He Zhao was looking at the problem—Liu Cunhao had brought a question assigned by his
home tutor—and he said, pen in hand, “I’ll give you two minutes. Rephrase that statement.”
Liu Cunhao now understood the meaning of ‘what goes around comes around.’ Before, he
had acted like he had seen a ghost when He Zhao volunteered his homework for him to
copy, but now he understood what He Zhao had meant by ‘beyond your reach.’
He shut his eyes and started ass-licking. “You’re awesome! A man among men! The pride of
Erzhong! So how is this question solved?”
When Liu Cunhao was done, he heard He Zhao say, “There are a few ways to solve this. Do
you want the short and blunt way or something a little more creative…”
“……”
Liu Cunhao thought, Big bro, spare me. I just want to solve the question.
Xie Yu couldn’t take it any more. He plucked the exercise book straight out of He Zhao’s
hand. “Which question?”
Xie Yu did not waste a single word when explaining the question. His logic was clear and
within a few sentences, Liu Cunhao seemed to have been struck by lightning and all his
trains of thought suddenly ran clear.
He Zhao pointed to himself. “Did I explain so badly?”
Xie Yu retorted, “Badly or not… don’t you already know?”
Liu Cunhao listened to the explanation, then looked up at the two of them quarrelling as
they always did.
What he nearly said was: Whether counting from the top or from the bottom, you’re still
the two big bros we know—He Zhao, who took blame he didn’t need to shoulder in order to
protect a girl, and Xie Yu, who rolled up his sleeves without a word and went down to the
basketball court.
From Class 3’s point of view, what they thought of the two of them had long gone beyond
grades. When class placements had first been announced, all they had known from rumors
were that these two were school tyrants who intimidated everyone who heard of them, did
every possible evil, and killed people without blinking.
But after interacting with them, this wasn’t the case at all.
Xie Yu closed the exercise book and handed it back to Liu Cunhao. Out of the corner of his
eye, he saw Xue Xisheng watching them without blinking.
His gaze was complicated and he stared them down until their hair stood on end.
Every day, Xue Xisheng persistently tried to talk to them about studying methods and they
couldn’t avoid him no matter how they tried. “It’s fine that you deliberately pulled the class
average down, but can’t you just talk to me a little about how you study?”
He Zhao had also noticed the study rep’s predatory gaze. He suggested, “Let’s go to Shen
Jie’s to hide out for a bit?”
Xie Yu asked, “You sure?”
“……”
Xie Yu continued, “That madman… better not.”
Shen Jie had gone mad since about when the midterm grades had been out.
Within a single day, his bro who usually only scored a few points on any exam had shot up
into the clouds. He even stood ahead of Shen Jie telling him, ‘Sorry, actually I’m just that
good.’
The guy who sat in front of Xie Yu during every exam was also in Class 8 and he and Shen
Jie ranted at each other all day in a daze.
That guy had always been in the last exam venue and no matter how he did in the exams—
no matter how badly he did—there were always two people behind him, silently backing
him up, so that he didn’t fall into the bottom of the abyss. When exam grades were released,
he could say to his parents with confidence, “I’m not the worst! Dad, Mom, look, there are
two guys even worse than me!”
Now the two men behind him said goodbye and left just like that.
He had lost all his will to live. The world had faded from color to black and white.
As they were talking, someone knocked twice on the glass.
Mad Dog’s face appeared at the window like in a scary movie.
He Zhao, who often used his phone in secret during evening self-study, had bad memories
of being quietly observed by Mad Dog standing at the window. Now he felt a chill at his
back.
But this time Mad Dog didn’t say much. He beckoned to the two ‘Hopes of Erzhong.’ “The
two of you come out.”
The whole way, Mad Dog kept saying, “Don’t be anxious later. Relax,” and, “Show the best
face of Erzhong.” It was getting more and more confusing.
Instinct told him it wasn’t anything good.
They followed Mad Dog all the way to the door of the principal’s office. Facing the plaque
on the door, Xie Yu’s left eyelid kept twitching. He had a bad premonition and had a faint
guess as to what Mad Dog had dragged them over here for.
“Hold up the exam paper and stand straight. All right, the two of you get closer together…”
“Principal Chen, please move a little to the side.”
“Chest out, chin up. I’ll count down. Three, two, one. Yell eggplant.”
Six or seven people stood in the principal’s office. Members of the school administration
stood in two rows, wearing sharp suits.
Erzhong’s principal had a bald patch on top of his head, but he had stubbornly and
meticulously applied hair gel to his few remaining strands of hair until they shone. He
placed his hand on Xie Yu’s shoulder and smiled, warm and genial. “Eggplant.”
He Zhao said, “Eggplant.”
Xie Yu: “……”
“Smile, student over there, could you smile a little?”
“Don’t be so…” The photographer was half-squatting and was about to say, “Don’t be so
gloomy,” but halfway through he thought the word wasn’t quite fitting, so he changed his
words. “Don’t be so serious.”
Erzhong’s principal had said he wanted to record them both in the school’s history. Xie Yu
had thought he was joking but the school administration had really hired a photographer to
take photos of them.
The moment he had walked through the door, before he could even assess the situation in
the office, the school principal had hung a sash over his shoulder.
The sash was red with yellow words, bordered on both sides with gold. On it was written:
Top Student.
“Record it in the school’s history! This photo must be right in the middle!”
“Erzhong’s students have worked a miracle. Let’s write a headline…”
“They’re just very happy.” After the photo shoot, Dean Jiang couldn’t take it, either, and
brought them out. “You still have afternoon classes, right? Go back quickly.”
Xie Yu pulled the sash off his chest without another word.
He Zhao shut the door and was about to go downstairs, then stopped in the doorway of the
stairwell. “Dean Jiang?”
Dean Jiang looked back. “Was there something else?”
He Zhao smiled and said, “I did all right on the exams.”
“Mm?”
“My deskmate did quite well, too.”
This was a fairly deep ruse, and Dean Jiang still didn’t understand what He Zhao was
saying. “Mm.”
Then He Zhao said, “So, can we change dorm rooms now?”
Before, when He Zhao had applied to change dorm rooms, Dean Jiang had been
unbelievably mad. The two bottom-of-the-year students wanting to room together—they
must have gone mad from playing too much. He kicked them out without even thinking
about it.
Who would have known they were still thinking about it.
Dean Jiang hesitated. “You two…”
He Zhao said, “We’re helping each other. We’re studying together and improving together.”
Xie Yu leaned against the railing in the stairwell. As he listened to He Zhao bullshitting, he
lifted a leg and kicked him lightly.
Dean Jiang thought about it for a while. He thought about their grades this time around and
fell for He Zhao’s bluff that they were ‘improving together.’ Eventually he relented and said,
“All right. Fill in the application form and turn it in at my office before school’s dismissed.”
Erzhong was very efficient.
After turning in the application form, the procedures were completed in short order.
That evening, after self-study, the occupant list next to Xie Yu’s door had an additional
name on it.
Xie Yu had gotten used to living alone. Several mock exams lay spread out on his desk and
he sat in his chair with one leg bent as he watched He Zhao run about. The other half of his
room, which had been empty, was now being filled, and he wasn’t yet used to it.
He tried to turn his attention to the question he was doing, but he only looked briefly
before putting down his pen again. He discovered that He Zhao had already packed up the
few things he had into cardboard boxes. “When did you start packing?”
“A few days ago.”
“I wanted to be closer to my little friend.” He Zhao had made several trips to move his
things and he was sweating a little. As he took off his jacket, he continued, “Best-case
scenario, the sort of close where I can see him when I open my eyes every day.”
Xie Yu was stunned.
By the time He Zhao had set up the bed, he belatedly realized that he had forgotten the
requirements of those questions from just now.
He Zhao didn’t have many things and was able to move them all with just a few boxes. He
also moved over the ‘Preparing for the college exams’ notice that he had had up on his door
for a long time.
He Zhao had just finished unpacking and had taken a change of clothes to the bathroom to
shower when Aunt Mei called.

Xu Yanmei was so emotional she couldn’t speak clearly. “You really scored first?”
Listening to the running water in the bathroom, Xie Yu distractedly said, “Mm.”
“That one at home, that idiot guy, he didn’t give you trouble, did he?” Xu Yanmei calmed
down, then followed ‘idiot guy’ up with another barrage of curses.
Xie Yu’s mind went in a few circles before he matched the name ‘idiot guy’ to Zhong Jie.
“No, so don’t worry about nothing.”
Xie Yu had no idea what reaction Zhong Jie might have had. Madam Gu said not to worry
about it. Grades had been out for a few days and he had not received a call from Zhong Jie.
They chatted for a little while and Xie Yu worked out the last problem sum at hand while he
talked.
“All right, I won’t go on any more. Take care of your health…”
Xie Yu waited for Aunt Mei to finish nagging before he hung up the phone and tossed it
aside. Then he saw a certain person, who had finished showering but had not properly put
on his clothes, pull open the door and walk out.
He Zhao’s hair was still wet. He wore only a button-down and he had not done up many of
the buttons.
Xie Yu thought that sharing a dorm room with this guy was probably not a wise decision.

Chapter 105 – He didn’t dare sleep.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Lyra
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“Do you know how to wear your clothes properly?”
“Huh?”
Xie Yu pointed at the shirt He Zhao was wearing.
He Zhao closed the bathroom door, completely focused on drying his hair. He had initially
wanted to come out of the bathroom shirtless. “You’ve already seen me naked before, don’t
be shy.”
Xie Yu shifted and turned over to straddle the chair, the front of his body facing the back of
the chair. His wrists loosely hung from the backrest and his slender legs were bent. He
curled his index finger to summon He Zhao from this position.
He Zhao finished rubbing his hair with a towel carelessly, then slung it over his neck.
When he got closer, Xie Yu reached out to help him button his shirt starting from the
bottom button, one button at a time.
Xie Yu’s fingers worked slowly, occasionally brushing his abdomen through the fabric with
a force that was neither too heavy nor too light.
At first He Zhao thought nothing of it, but they were so close and once Xie Yu’s fingers
finished the buttons at his abdomen and moved to the buttons at his chest, it finally became
a bit too much for He Zhao to take.
Xie Yu’s gaze trailed upward as his fingers continued to work with the buttons, his eyes
meeting He Zhao’s when he reached the top buttons.
Neither of them spoke.
After staring into each other’s eyes for a few moments, He Zhao bent down slightly. Just as
he was about to lower his head, loud knocks came from the door to their room.
“……”
“Big bro!”
“Are you there?”
“Hello?”
Several voices came from outside the door. Wan Da’s loud voice stood out. His call of “big
bro” was especially enthusiastic.
He Zhao’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “…Fuck.”
Hearing that, Xie Yu was a bit amused. His hand moved upward a few inches, simply
grabbing He Zhao by the collar and yanking him closer without another word.
He Zhao immediately lost his balance.
Xie Yu didn’t control his strength very well and his actions were straightforward and rough.
He pecked He Zhao on the lips in a placating manner.
And then, Xie Yu let go and pointed at the door with his chin. “Go open the door.”
The students of Class 3 who lived in the dorms waited for a couple of minutes in front of the
door. Just as they were ready to bang on the door again, it was pulled open from the inside
before they had a chance to touch it.
He Zhao blocked the view through the door and asked, “Is there anything you need?”
Wan Da shoved an apple snatched from another dorm room into his hands. “Zhao-ge, we
heard that you moved into a new dorm room? Congratulations on moving into your new
room, we are here to celebrate with you.”
Holding the apple, He Zhao thought that this bunch was just too enthusiastic. “Thanks… I’m
only moving across the corridor.”
“You’re welcome, moving across is still moving!”
Although they stated it was to celebrate his moving, it was only an excuse. Every one of
them carried thick workbooks in their hands, looking as if they would take out little stools
and sit down in a row to listen to the teacher’s lesson at any moment.
There were just too many questions to ask and Xie Yu was not the kind of person who
would patiently answer them again and again. He pressed the spot between his eyebrows
and told the guy at the back of the line, “Try feeling the question out by yourself again.”
He Zhao added, “Close your eyes and feel it with your heart.”
Wan Da sighed while holding the math workbook. “I’ve already spent more than forty
minutes in my dorm trying to connect with this problem on a spiritual level. I’ve tried
feeling it for so long but I still don’t know what it wants to say.”
“……”
After sighing, Wan Da glanced between the people in queue at the half-finished test sheet
on Xie Yu’s desk.
With how hard those questions were, he wouldn’t be able to solve them even if he was
given forty hours to do the test, much less forty minutes.
He Zhao’s arrogant declaration of the homework being too easy surprisingly didn’t really
upset the teachers. They gave these two students a different set of assignments according
to their ability. Wu Zheng, in particular, even assigned them math problems as hard as
those given out by the top-tier schools.
Wan Da had heard Wu Zheng talking cheerfully in the office. “I always suppress my desires
as there are many difficult problems that I shouldn’t assign …I don’t believe I can’t stump
them with these. Do they think I’m one to be underestimated?”
After the question-and-answer session ended, it was almost time for the lights to go out.
The dorm supervisor downstairs whistled as he walked back and forth, the flashlight he
was holding flashing in different directions. The light occasionally passed through a dorm
room’s window, illuminating the whole dorm room.
Xie Yu was just about to send them away when he realized this bunch had gotten together
and started chatting and the topic quickly drifted off into a weird direction, “I downloaded
a movie last weekend, want to watch together?”
“What kind of movie?”
“What kind of movie could it be? A movie for men, of course.”
There were only a few ways for guys to spice up their night lives.
Xie Yu had no intention of joining in the high school boys’ passionate midnight chat and
neither did he want to watch a movie to spice up his night life. However, the three words,
“no, get lost,” were no use as the classmate had already found the video on his phone. “Let
me tell you, this one’s really exciting. It’s a movie so exceptional you can’t get enough of it–”
Others were fascinated. “Oh?”
“Don’t mess around, go back to your own room to watch…” He Zhao said.
Before he could finish the sentence, a terrifying and harsh sound effect burst out in the
dorm room.
Mysterious, spooky, trembling.
A silhouette slowly appeared on the previously dark screen of the phone. The figure was
holding a dirty doll in their hands as the lens zoomed in on them—when the camera
couldn’t get any closer, the figure finally raised their head in a sudden motion, revealing a
face littered with frightening scars which had been hidden behind their long locks!
They had an odd smile on their lips and the corners of their mouth lifted up as their smile
grew wider and wider.
Title of the movie: Harassed by a Malicious Spirit
“……”
He Zhao grabbed Xie Yu’s hand almost as soon as the sound effect blasted out. He froze for
a few moments as a swear word stuck in his throat. He managed to swallow it down with
difficulty.
Damn.
Exciting, sure.
“I know about this one. It’s adapted from a novel and the original author wrote really well. I
didn’t dare to sleep for two consecutive nights when I read it as a kid.” Only after Wan Da
finished speaking did he realize the two big bros seemed to have said something. “Yu-ge,
what did you say?”
He Zhao heard his conscienceless boyfriend beside him correct himself. “Nothing, the
movie is alright.”
“Right, what about Zhao-ge?” Wan Da asked again.
With Xie Yu’s knuckles against his palm, He Zhao’s grip grew tighter.
“I don’t think it’s that good.” He Zhao’s first-class acting ability showed no flaws. “The plot
is so cliché. It looks fake and there’s no mood at all. You couldn’t sleep for two nights
because of this?”
The others didn’t notice anything wrong with what he said and were instantly won over.
Xie Yu couldn’t hold back from saying, “Shouldn’t you let go of my hand before saying this?”
“I’m not letting go,” He Zhao replied.
The dorm room with the lights off was pitch-dark and you couldn’t even see the outlines of
your own hands clearly.
The light from the phone illuminated the guys’ faces and, coupled with the movie’s sound
effect, it was actually quite eerie.
Xie Yu didn’t react much to the horrifying scenes. It was all because of this bunch’s jumpy
and nervous reactions that the roughly made and deliberately cryptic horror film’s
atmosphere was raised to an unexpected level.
“Damn!”
“My god!”
“Is this one going to die too?”
“My hand is a bit sore, wait a second, let me find a place to prop up this phone…”
He Zhao could only pretend to be brave in front of Wan Da and company. After everyone
was completely immersed in the movie’s plot, he finally said in a low voice, “This movie is
too damn scary.”
Xie Yu used his own words to call him out, his words a perfect imitation, “The plot is cliché
and there’s no mood.”
He Zhao responded, “Really, that’s enough.”
He Zhao’s grip was tight.
Xie Yu didn’t speak again. His eyes stayed on the screen of the phone while he moved his
wrists and his five fingers wriggled in between He Zhao’s fingers.
The table was too short and the person holding the phone up was a bit tired, so he searched
everywhere for a place to prop up the phone.
In the middle of the search, a scene of the malicious spirit suddenly appeared. Someone to
the side panicked and pulled at whoever was closest to him and the phone was dropped in
the chaos.
It was an arduous experience to watch this movie of one and a half hours. During this
period of time, the phone was dropped three times.
“Be still, don’t drop it, do you still want this phone or not?”
“I’m still, but someone’s pulling at me.”
After the credits scene rolled, this bunch hesitated for a while before leaving, hoping to
group up to go back to their rooms. “Is there anyone else headed to the fourth floor?”
As they walked through the corridor, Wan Da couldn’t help but exclaim, “The big bros are
really big bros, they were so calm.”
However, the calm big bro who had looked down on the person “not daring to sleep at
night” asked the instant he closed the door, “Why don’t we sleep together?”
Xie Yu gave him a look from his seat on the bed, “Don’t tell me you don’t dare sleep alone.”
He Zhao was a flexible person. “I don’t.”
“……”
The night-time movie sessions were probably the only pastime for the second year
students who lived in the dorms.
Third year, the college entrance exam.
This topic was mentioned again and again upon entering high school as a first year student,
but they had never felt the urgency of it. They thought there was still plenty of time and it
was still a long way off.
However, the rankings of the joint exam of the four schools brought on the stress of the
college entrance exam for the second year test-takers sooner than they expected.
It was also the first time they felt the exact stage of life they were at and what one more
step meant.
The third year of high school was only a few steps away.
“If nothing unexpected comes up, we have to cut our summer vacations short and return to
school. The school has decided to schedule additional lessons earlier to try and finish a
round of review before summer vacation ends.”
After the midterms ended, it was time to prepare for the finals right away. Many students
were looking forward to the vacation and Old Tang decided to give them a reminder, “Don’t
worry if you didn’t do well on the rankings this time, we still have more than a year’s
time….”
During self-study period in the morning, Old Tang made an all-around divergent speech on
the subject. In the end, the speech dovetailed into another direction and Xie Yu stopped
listening halfway through.
He had slept crammed together with He Zhao the whole night and now he felt
uncomfortable all over. He was itching to kick the person back into the room across the
corridor.
The only thing was that He Zhao’s state after waking up was so particularly overwhelming
that it even soothed Xie Yu’s grumpy temper.
Not to mention his habit of sleeping in, even if he was made to get up, he would put his
head on Xie Yu’s shoulders with half-lidded eyes. With a toothbrush in his mouth, he’d
murmur, “Wanna sleep.”
They had often visited each other’s room before, but there still seemed to be something
different after they moved in together.
With his chin resting on his hand, Xie Yu looked at the person beside him and thought back
to He Zhao’s words from when he was moving his stuff over. “…see him when I open my
eyes everyday.”
Chapter 106 – The First Exam Venue
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
Old Tang finished talking about additional classes and opened his literature textbook. He
thought he still had plenty of time and was going to go over a classical poem with the class,
but little did he know that morning self-study was already almost over.
“Has it been so long?”
Old Tang was both confused and conflicted, but he had to pick up his tea mug and walk out.
“I just said a couple things…”
He Zhao stretched lazily, his hand lifting and coming to rest at the back of his head. He
smiled and said, “Sir, that was more than a couple things. You don’t know yourself very well
yet.”
“Stop bullshitting.” Tang Sen smiled as well and said, “Remember to bring your and Xie Yu’s
homework by later. I’ll grade them individually.”

He Zhao waited for Old Tang to walk out, then dropped his hand and knocked on Xie Yu’s
desk. “I didn’t finish it. Where’s yours? Can I borrow it?”
At the mention of homework, Xie Yu frowned and said, “You think I did mine?”
He Zhao said, “You didn’t?”
How could I have done it.
How dare you ask.
Xie Yu internally cursed.
It had been very late by the time they finished watching the film yesterday. He Zhao had
closed the door and gone on about ‘sleeping together,’ and Xie Yu had eventually relented
since he couldn’t out-talk him. “All right, let’s sleep. Don’t make a fuss.”
His boyfriend’s approval wasn’t enough. He Zhao waited outside the bathroom door the
whole time Xie Yu was in the bathroom and showering.
It was too dark in the dorm room.
The 1.85m tall boy turned on his phone’s flashlight, his back to the bathroom door.
“Are you done showering?”
“How about this? Can I go in and wait for you?”
“……”
Xie Yu was exasperated. He shut his eyes, water flowing down his face.
Then he turned his head and forcefully pressed the showerhead lever down. He reached for
the dry towel he had put to one side and said, “Come in. Just try coming in and see if you get
out alive.”
He hurried him so much just for a shower. Xie Yu, on the other hand, wanted to finish his
homework before going to bed.
But had the idiot given him the chance?
He Zhao clearly remembered what he had done last night. He coughed lightly and changed
the subject. “How about this? Let’s split the work. You do math and I’ll do the rest.”
Xie Yu had no objections to this division of labor.
They both did the homework quickly. By the time the first chemistry period was half over,
they had finished most of the homework for the various subjects.
He Zhao was left with two English passages to translate and he still tried to explain himself
as he wrote. “Ge is still a strong man, but there are many unexpected things in life. Maybe
Heaven didn’t want me to be too perfect…”
Xie Yu was erasing his diagrams, about to start over with a new approach.
Old Wu had given them difficult questions recently, as if trying to give them a hard time. Xie
Yu had been stuck on the last question for nearly ten minutes. When he heard He Zhao, he
turned and threw the eraser. “Perfect, my ass. Can you shut up?”
The moment the chemistry teacher packed up his things and left at the end of the period,
the last row of the classroom broke out in a fight.
“Fighting again?” Liu Cunhao was about to get up and collect homework, but when he heard
the commotion he glanced at the back row. “Our two big bros are so passionate today?”
Luo Wenqiang folded up his mock paper and fanned himself. “Aren’t they warm?”
Liu Cunhao said, “Why don’t you go and turn on the fan for them, then?”
Near June, the weather was gradually growing hotter.
Another year, another summer.
He Zhao often really wanted to strip naked in his own dorm room, and walked about in
front of Xie Yu all the time with his clothes in disarray. At first, Xie Yu had commented on it,
but eventually he let him be.
He couldn’t beat him in shamelessness.
When Gu Xuelan occasionally called Xie Yu, she discovered that her son’s dorm room had
grown much rowdier.
Before they could exchange a couple sentences, she would hear her son say, tone frustrated
but also accommodating, “Don’t make a fuss,” or “Can you go away.”
Gu Xuelan paused and couldn’t keep herself from asking, “Who is that?”
“Roommate. My deskmate. He moved here a while ago.” Xie Yu lifted a hand to press at his
forehead; he felt a headache coming on. Seeing Gu Xuelan still had no reaction, he
continued, “—The one who always scored bottom of the year.”
Now Gu Xuelan remembered, somewhat.
He Zhao had finished sunning his clothes and walked back from the balcony.
He Zhao wasn’t shy around strangers at all. He opened his mouth to greet her and hearing
Xie Yu call her ‘Mom,’ he nearly followed suit. Only when his waist was pinched did he
change what he was about to say. “…Hello, Aunt.”
Gu Xuelan chatted with Xie Yu’s ‘roommate’ through the phone line.
He Zhao’s voice was bright and he was a good conversationalist, so people quickly warmed
to him.
Xie Yu said, “Mom…”
Gu Xuelan was currently chatting up a storm with He Zhao and ignored her own son. “Let
He Zhao come to the phone. I want to chat with him. You can keep doing your homework.”
Xie Yu: “……”
He Zhao stood behind Xie Yu, one hand on Xie Yu’s shoulder. When he heard this, he took
the phone and said quietly, “Don’t be jealous. Your ge used to be famous for being friends
with all the middle-aged ladies in a ten-mile radius.”
“Tsk.”
Xie Yu ignored him.
With people his own age, He Zhao’s EQ was negative.
But he could establish a presence among middle-aged women.
Gu Xuelan took the rare opportunity to chat with someone Xie Yu’s age. “Xie Yu has a bad
temper. If he’s offended you, you don’t have to take it… I know what he’s like.”
He Zhao glanced at him and smiled. “His temper is a little quick.”
Gu Xuelan said, “Yeah. I don’t know who he took after.”
It was not yet hot enough to need the air-conditioning, so Xie Yu got up to open the
window.
Wind blew in through the cracks, gust after gust, and he felt much more clearheaded facing
the breeze.
“All right.” Xie Yu snatched his phone and said, “Are you done?”
Before Gu Xuelan hung up the phone, she continued, “When are the end-of-term tests?
Soon, right? Although your grades weren’t bad last time, you can’t get cocky…”
Counting the days on one’s fingers, the end-of-term exams weren’t far away.
Rumor had it the end-of-term tests would be even more formal than the midterm tests. A
combined exam of all four schools was child’s play. This time, all the high schools in A City
might be taking the same exam.
Early in the morning, to the sound of the fan turning in the broadcast room, Dean Jiang
added to the hot summer heat. “Students, the end-of-term exams are upon us. Are you
prepared? Competition is cruel and those who do not strive hard will be eliminated. You
have to fight your hardest! Fight! Burn, like the sun!”
Groans filled the dormitory building. “I really have to thank you.”
“The weather is terrible. Even if I don’t move I might spontaneously combust…”
Xie Yu felt a headache coming on.
He stayed in bed for a while, then got up, about to go and wash up. He only got up halfway
before a certain person still lazing in bed stretched out an arm and pulled him over.
“Sleep a while more.” He Zhao didn’t open his eyes and said in a hoarse voice, “…Don’t
move so much.”
Mad Dog’s broadcast could be heard all the way from the dorm building to the classroom
building.
“After the last exam, there were many changes to the exam venues. And the two students
who massacred your way out of the last exam venue, continue with your momentum and
rush forward! Work miracles! Nothing is impossible!”
The two students who had massacred their way out of the last exam venue were currently
in a life-and-death fight on the bed.
At first, Xie Yu just wanted to push him away, but He Zhao refused to let go and, after a little
back-and-forth, the struggle changed its tone.
He Zhao’s chest was half visible, the look in his eyes dark and indiscernible. His shirt fell
downward and Xie Yu could see the outline of He Zhao’s abs hidden beneath his clothes.
“I said don’t move.”
“Then stop rutting.”
“……”
He Zhao sighed before levering himself up and off his boyfriend’s body.
Erzhong placed a lot of importance on the upcoming end-of-term exams.
In summer, the weather was hot and dry. On the food street outside school, the banners
were burned beneath the sun, the gold words flashing.
They were still the same old phrases. The restaurants had gotten their exam banners all at
the same time, and they brought them out and hung them up at the same time every year.
—Get good grades!
—Welcome the end of term! 20% storewide discount!
The pressure of the looming exams lasted until exam day. On the day itself, everyone
silently arranged their tables and chairs and went to their assigned exam venues, to their
deaths.
The process of moving seats was fairly calm and organized.
Xie Yu flipped through the questions he had gotten wrong before and considered it
revision. It took no more than five minutes.
Over the intercom, the exam announcements were played twice.
“Hello, everyone. Before I go, I’ll read out my will.” Liu Cunhao had his exam materials with
him as he stood at the podium saying weakly, “If I unfortunately pass away, my max-level
mage in Genesis will be given unconditionally to my good bro Wan Da.”
Wan Da said, “Hao-zi, although you’re being ridiculous, I’m actually a little touched?”
Liu Cunhao continued tragically, “My No. 24 basketball jersey, my religion—will be given to
my good bro Luo Wenqiang.”
Luo Wenqiang got up and bowed to the podium, getting deep into character. “…I’ll keep it
safe!”
“What about Old Xie and I?”
He Zhao looked at the scene for a long time and was amused. He raised his voice. “We’re not
bros?”
Liu Cunhao’s initially faint voice now increased 80% in volume. He exploded on the spot.
“You, from the first exam venue, in seat No. 2, have no right to anything I bequeath! And the
guy next to you, too! Neither of you have inheritance rights!”
He Zhao: “……”
Xie Yu: “……”
Liu Cunhao wasn’t the only person whose emotions were in upheaval. Everyone in the first
exam venue felt that they were dreaming.
The first exam venue… the people in it were always the same, none of them cheated, and
they faced every exam venue solemnly and sincerely. But this time they warily welcomed
the two school tyrants.
The first exam venue was already full of people, aside from the first two seats in the first
column, which were still empty.
The other students looked at the two empty spots and whispered, “It’s really the two of
them?”
“My hands are shaking a little.”
“Students, take note. The exam will begin in five minutes. Please return to your exam
venues…”
As the broadcast began, the sounds of chattering suddenly stopped.
Year 2, Class 1.
Xie Yu walked in front. When he got to the venue, he glanced at the sign on the door.
—Then he reached out and pushed open the door to the first exam venue.

Chapter 107 – Class 3.3

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
The first exam venue was as different from the poor students’ gathering grounds as heaven
was from earth.
No students gathered to discuss cheating strategies and nobody was selling answers. The
students here were all top students who used every spare minute to go through their
books. Even if only one second remained, they would make the most of it and look up
another two English words.
When Xie Yu pushed the door open, he was stunned for a second.
He Zhao walked in behind him.
He looked languid and indolent, and a black gel pen was stuffed carelessly in his uniform
pocket. He didn’t look at all like he was going to an exam.
Before he reached the classroom doorway, he leaned against the window and greeted the
students in the classroom, who he didn’t know. “Hi, friends.”
Nobody present dared make a sound, aside from Xue Xisheng—the Class 3 study rep who
sat in the sixth seat in the first column. Although his grades did not rank at the very top,
they were solid and he was always among the top 10 in the year.
Xue Xisheng frowned and looked up from his English vocabulary. “Classmate He Zhao,
please be quiet.”
He Zhao signed back, No problem.
Xie Yu didn’t have nearly as much to say. He reached behind him, caught hold of the idiot
He Zhao’s sleeve, and yanked.
“The exam is about to begin. Students, please put away all materials not needed for the
exam—”
The announcement was replayed a few times.
Xie Yu pulled out his chair, which made a light scraping sound against the floor. He felt the
girl next to him tremble before he could sit down. “……”
“Am I very scary?”
The invigilating teacher had not yet arrived. Xie Yu leaned back in his chair and whispered,
“Why did she look like she’d seen a ghost?”
He Zhao followed Xie Yu’s gaze and saw the girl in the next row. Not only were her hands
still shaking, she seemed like she didn’t even dare breathe too hard.
He Zhao thought, How could he be scary? My little friend is so cute.
But before the words left his mouth he was struck by the urge to tease him. “A little. Why
don’t you smile to show you’re friendly?”
“I can laugh in your face.” ¹
He Zhao reached out to touch the corner of Xie Yu’s mouth, about to pull his face into a
friendly smile.
Xie Yu didn’t know what this guy was doing. He turned his head, about to ask how many
pens He Zhao had brought, but He Zhao’s index finger brushed the corner of his mouth and
landed squarely on his lips before he could say anything.
Both of them froze.
It wasn’t a drastic movement, but the position was suggestive in an indefinable way.
The girl in the next row over was shaking even harder now. She couldn’t hold her pen
properly and it fell from between her fingers, clattering to the desk.
She was internally breaking down. The exam hadn’t even begun and she had already
snapped.
To say nothing of the fright…
Why did the two school tyrants look so… the scene should not be spoken of?
Several minutes before the exam bell, the invigilating teacher walked across the corridor
carrying the exam papers.
The top students in the first exam venue were only concerned about the exam difficulty,
looked only at the exam questions, and didn’t care who the invigilating teacher was.
Their heads were bent as they reviewed and they heard only the clacking of high-heeled
shoes coming closer.
A moment passed before He Zhao retracted his hand, some warmth still lingering on the
pad of his finger.
“Last time was a fluke.” Somewhat stiffly, he picked up the pen on his desk. Then he
continued, “If you don’t believe it, let’s compete again this time?”
Xie Yu smiled slightly. “It wasn’t an accident. Those two points you lost are the distance
between you and me.”
More accurately, it was the distance between him and an idiot.
Their abilities were the same. If they were to truly compete, just one or two points would
decide who won and who lost.
Xie Yu thought carefully. Ever since he was young, his only interest in grades and year
placement—the only thing he considered his goal and fought for—had been the position of
‘bottom of the year.’
The high-heeled shoes stopped in the doorway of Class 2.1.
Xu Xia internally told herself, ‘They’re just two students,’ then pushed open the classroom
door and walked in.
Xu Xia’s face was blank. The moment she walked in, she began counting the exam papers.
He Zhao was a little surprised. He glanced at her and stopped spinning his pen for a couple
seconds. “…It’s her.”
Xu Xia had split up the papers by rows, then looked up. Her gaze swept across the two
people in the first column.
Xie Yu didn’t even glance at her. The exam papers had not even been distributed and he just
lay down on the table to sleep.
The person behind him–sitting sideways with his back to the wall, posture languid and
careless—met her eyes without hesitation when she looked over.
……
Awkwardness, shame, and some other indescribable emotion made her avert her eyes
swiftly.
The exam bell rang.
She let out a breath.
The Class 1 exam venue didn’t really need to be observed. Xu Xia sat by the podium for a
while, then stood up and walked around the classroom twice.
To the sound of the exam papers being flipped, she suddenly thought about the two
inexplicably high scores again.
There was a little disbelief in her heart, and curiosity, which compelled her… On her second
trip around the classroom, she finally slowed her steps and glanced at Xie Yu and He Zhao’s
exam papers, as if by accident.
That glance beat back all the cries of ‘Impossible’ in her heart.
Who knew if the weather was too hot or she really couldn’t breathe.
Xu Xia felt her chest grow heavy for a long time.
Xie Yu hadn’t noticed that Xu Xia was doing such underhanded things things even though
she was invigilating the exam. The questions were indeed very difficult on the A City
unified exam and there were several where he wasn’t sure if he had answered to the point.
The end-of-term exams spanned two consecutive days.
When the exams ended, the students returned to their original classrooms and everybody
compared answers.
“Hao-zi.” Wan Da had just returned from his exam venue and he held the doorway with one
hand, face grim. “Sorry, I might not be able to inherit your max-level mage account. I’m
going to die too.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “Me too. I won’t make it, either.”
“……”
Liu Cunhao inwardly grieved. He hadn’t expected that the heirs to his inheritance would
also leave the world one by one. After a period of grief, he raised his voice and kept going.
“Zhao-ge, how do you all feel?”
He Zhao was forever full of confidence. “Very good.”
Liu Cunhao said, “Your feelings aren’t accurate. You told me last time you did exceptionally
well. It was exceptional. So exceptional, it’s abnormal.”
He Zhao objected to being called ‘abnormal.’ “What’s abnormal about me?”
Xie Yu said, “Think about the handwriting points you lost before you talk. Does such
mischief make you happy?”
He Zhao fell silent.
The class quarrelled for a while, then Old Tang walked in and started talking about the
vacation and returning to school.
“For these two weeks, everyone, build up your strength and save up your acuity. The
coming year will be very arduous. If you go out during the holidays, stay safe.” Old Tang had
overseen many graduating classes, and when the subject of Year 3 came up, he couldn’t
help worrying for these kids.
The vacation was too short. So short, it was tragic.
It only lasted a few days and students spent most of that time being sent to all kinds of
remedial classes by their parents. Nobody had looked forward to this vacation in the least,
and they didn’t care much for Old Tang’s reminders, either. “Okay, got it.”
“When you go, make sure to pack all your things. After coming back to school, we won’t be
in this classroom any more. We’ll be in the Zhi Yuan building.”²
Erzhong distributed its students well among its school buildings. Zhi Yuan was further from
the quad and was therefore relatively more quiet. The third-year students occupied this
building every year.
The sign on the door changed from Class 2.3 to Class 3.3.
The vacation-which-might-as-well-have-not-existed passed and everybody still thought it a
novel experience on the day they went back for supplementary lessons.
Liu Cunhao had gained a ‘big bro’ attitude from somewhere. He felt that even when he
walked he could hold his back straighter. He was living at school this term and he said as he
packed his things, “We’re the most senior in Erzhong now! Everybody in Erzhong has to
respectfully call me Senior!”
Xie Yu had just finished showering when Liu Cunhao’s voice came from the other end of the
corridor.
Barefoot, he kicked He Zhao who had lain down on his bed the moment he got into the
dorm room. “What’s going on? They’re all staying at school this semester?”
He Zhao didn’t open his eyes. “They said going back and forth from home wastes too much
time. They need every second to prepare for the college exams.”
It would be a riot.
Class 3, all together. And preparing for the college exams. Who knew; they might just mess
around every day.
“Are you going to shower or not?” Xie Yu asked.
Outside, the sun was hot and the weather was warm.
He Zhao had intended to down for a while and wait for his little friend to finish showering
before he went. Now that the heat had mostly subsided and he was too lazy to move, he
replied, “Did you miss me?”
The vacation hadn’t lasted long and they had either video chatted or called every day.
Compared to him, Madam Gu seemed to miss this ‘middle-aged ladies’ friend’ even more.
“When he has some time, invite him home for a visit? Mom will cook whatever you want to
eat.”
“He doesn’t have time.”
“You didn’t even ask. How do you know he doesn’t have time?”
“……”
He Zhao lifted a hand to shield his eyes and rested a while longer before getting up to get a
change of clothes and shower.
“Do we have apples in the dorm room?” Halfway through showering, he thought about Wan
Da’s housewarming gift. He stuck out his head and asked, “Should we give them some too?”
“What?”
They had just gotten back to school. How would they have apples?
In the end, Liu Cunhao and the other ‘new residents’ received a piece of A4 paper.
Luo Wenqiang was currently cleaning and he curiously flipped over the paper. “What is this
—”
He Zhao said, “Something good.”
Xie Yu leaned against the door. He didn’t really want to look.
On the A4 paper were the two words ‘He Zhao’ in an energetic, flying script. It occupied a
lot of space, more than half the sheet.
Luo Wenqiang: “……”
Liu Cunhao: “……”
All the new live-in students: “……”
What was this? He gave them his autograph?
“I thought about it and I didn’t have much to give. How about this? When I’m a meteoric
success in future, you can sell this autograph for a good price. Spend the money however
you want…”
Before he could finish, the broom in Luo Wenqiang’s hand was already moving.
Not even two hours after returning to school, a large-scale brawl had already broken out in
the boys’ dormitory building. It was chaotic and grand. Live-in students from the first to the
sixth floors all came to look.
Xie Yu kept his distance and watched this lot chase He Zhao from the third floor to the roof,
then down again. They made two round-trips.
“Zhao-ge, stop right there if you’ve got the guts.”
“How shameless are you? Who signs their name—as big as you? Should we frame this and
hang it up?”
Amidst the crusade, He Zhao said, tone sincere and deserving of a beating, “Frame it. That’s
quite a good idea.”
“……”
Xie Yu was still standing in the doorway of Luo Wenqiang’s room. He leaned against the
wall and, as he listened, he couldn’t help looking down and smiling.

Translation notes:
[1] Xie Yu’s exact words are ‘I’ll give you a ‘Hur hur’, where ‘hur hur’ is a laughing phrase
(like haha/lol) but is usually used online to mock and jeer or end a conversation.
[2] Zhi yuan: Far-reaching knowledge.

Chapter 108 – But Old Xie’s mine.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
They chased He Zhao until he was forced to stop and take a few hits.
The group crowded in the stairwell entrance. Luo Wenqiang had lost a slipper and hopped
downstairs on one foot to get it.
He Zhao leaned against the railing. While they weren’t looking, he mouthed at his
boyfriend, ‘Save me.
“Are you done making a scene?”
Xie Yu glanced at the time with a smile, then said, “Are you going to class or not?”
Old Tang had told them to return to the classroom to clean up a little and for a meeting. It
was probably to distribute new books or to talk about the end-of-term exams.
Hearing this, Liu Cunhao let go and glanced down at his wristwatch. “Damn, that’s the
time?”

He Zhao walked down the stairs, taking them two at a time. He hooked an arm around Xie
Yu’s neck and leaned in close. “Do you have a conscience… They chased me for so long and
you just stood here watching the show.”
Xie Yu looked at him and leaned close to his ear without any hesitation. “Count your
blessings. Actually, I wanted to hit you too.”
“……”
A line of people walked out of the school dorms. Green foliage surrounded the road, but it
did little to block out the sun.
A hot, dry wind rushed up to meet their faces.
Only the Year 3 students had supplementary lessons during the school holidays so the
other classroom buildings were empty. They weren’t used to how quiet it was.
Old Tang started his lecture before they even reached the classroom door, his voice drifting
through the window. “I won’t assign you new seats. Go back to your original places. The
weather is very hot today. Everybody, please bear with it. Let’s try to finish our first round
of revision early so you all can have a few more days of vacation.”
About half of class 3 had arrived and were cleaning the classroom.
Xie Yu got to the door and glanced inside the classroom, then at the sign by the door.
Year 3, Class 3.
Classroom cleaning duties had been divvied up so there wasn’t much left for Xie Yu to do by
the time he entered. In the end, he and He Zhao each took half the blackboard. “This half is
mine. You scram over to that side.”
Even though the division of work was clear, Xie Yu came back after washing his cloth and
found that his half of the territory had been occupied by He Zhao.
“Snatching my territory?”
He Zhao said, “In this world the strong prey on the weak.”
Xie Yu still had water on his hands. He nearly threw the cloth on He Zhao’s head in
response.
They were both boys, and tall, and squeezed in front of the blackboard, they fumbled
around for a little. Xie Yu reached out to grab the cloth in He Zhao’s hand, but He Zhao
turned around and looked downward at him. “All right, I won’t mess around with you any
more.”
Old Tang had said all he needed to say. He stood by the side, drinking water, and found
these two very funny. Then he shook his head and his gaze landed by the window.
Xu Qingqing was cleaning the window, but her mind was clearly elsewhere.
She rubbed the same section several times and only came back to herself after a while.
“I know you all are very interested in your end-of-term exam grades. The rankings have
been compiled and our class did quite well this time around, better than expected.
Everybody, have confidence in yourselves.”
Old Tang got the grade sheet from his office and got ready to go over the exams with them.
Before he started going over them, he couldn’t help mentioning something else.
All of Class 3 heard Old Tang’s slow words, “This time, our school took two of the top five
places in the city.”
“……”
The room went silent.
Even though these two big bros from their class, who might have hit their heads and
broken their brains, had made their name in a single night during the 4-school combined
exams, that had only been 4 schools and there was still a great distance from the top-tier
schools.
Now that the news of ‘Top 5 in the City’ emerged, they were so shocked their spirits might
have left their bodies. For a long time, nobody could say anything.
It wasn’t only Class 3 who couldn’t digest the news.
The day Old Tang finished recording grades, the office phone didn’t stop ringing for the
whole afternoon. Not only did the members of the school administration come over to ask
about it, the top-tier schools were all surprised by these two who had massacred their way
in to the rankings and wondered what trickery was afoot.
Liu Cunhao was the first to recover. He felt around in his pockets for a long time and came
up with a 5-yuan bill. He slapped it onto his desk. “I bet the one who ranked higher is Yu-
ge.”
Wan Da said, “I… I bet on Yu-ge too. Zhao-ge is too volatile. Not a man I can get a hold of at
all.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “I’ll bet my dignity today. I pick Big Bro Xie, too!”
Xie Yu initially hadn’t cared at all about the rankings and flipped past two pages of the new
study material. But now that he found them already betting, and one-sidedly at that, he
found it funny. “What’s there to bet on?”
This lot probably just wanted to make it feel ritualistic.
He Zhao waited for a long time and no one bet on him. He couldn’t sit still. “Are you all still
human? Even if we only say we’re brothers, you should at least make a show of it. You’re
not considerate at all.”
Liu Cunhao said, “Sorry, we don’t want to show anything.”
“……”
He Zhao got up and walked to the front row, about to bet on himself, but he felt around for
a while and couldn’t find any spare change. He bent down and knocked on Wan Da’s desk.
“About that, can I borrow some change?”
Before Wan Da could refuse, He Zhao continued, “This is your chance to strike it rich. Think
about it carefully. You’ll only get one chance. Lend me ten bucks today and in future I’ll—”
Wan Da said, “No! I refuse!”
Xie Yu smiled and leaned back.
But contrary to everybody’s expectations, the ‘acting suave, made some mischief and lost
two points for handwriting’ bad stock whom nobody was willing to bet on actually
managed to turn the situation around this time.
Old Tag looked down at the grade sheet as he said, “This time, classmate He Zhao with a
total score of 743 ranked second in the city, 2 points short of first place…”
Wan Da nearly lost his grip on the stack of cash in his hand, and thought, I really did lose
the chance to strike it rich.
They had witnessed the prowess of the top students from the top-tier schools before. They
were quite terrifying and just looking at the released grades would make people shake
from fright.
The top 5 were only a few points short of each other.
Besides, there was still a year until the college exams. Who knew who would be ahead of
whom in the next exam.
This time, Xie Yu had scored two points less than anticipated in the essay component of his
literature paper and ranked third. But the essay component included the grader’s personal
viewpoint and biases, so it was normal to get one or two points less or more.
After hearing the grades announced, Xie Yu felt a headache coming on. He was foreseeing
another section in Erzhong’s school history about them, possibly something about
‘Suppressing the whole city and creating a radiant legend together.’
He didn’t even dare recall the scene in the principal’s office from last time.
He Zhao ruffled his hair. “What is my little friend thinking about?”
Xie Yu’s expression was blank. “What dumb antics of yours will end up in school history
this time.”
Old Tang kept nagging. “Children…” He Zhao listened for a while, then reached for his
phone.
Just now, his phone had vibrated in his pocket for a long time but he hadn’t looked at it.
Xie Yu asked, “Who is it?”
“Shen Jie,” He Zhao said. “He asked if you had time later to draw two cards for him.”
Xie Yu didn’t even think about it. “I don’t have time.”
He Zhao put his phone back under his desk. The screen flickered off, then flickered on
again. He glanced down at it and said, “…Can’t I draw them? My luck of the draw is good,
too.”
From the dressup game to the bad boy in the dating game, Xie Yu really couldn’t tell from
where He Zhao’s so-called ‘luck of the draw’ manifested.
Clearly his good bro Shen Jie had never witnessed it, either.
[Shen Jie]: Zhao-ge, be more self-aware.
[He Zhao]: I think my understanding of myself is very clear and accurate.
Shen Jie was getting a headache.
[Shen Jie]: Don’t say any more! How could you be the same as your Old Xie? He’s the true
God Ou.¹ Did you get amnesia? Do you need me to help you awaken your memories?
He and He Zhao had known each other for many years. This guy never played cards
according to expectations. Even if he originally had good luck, it would be completely
frittered away by this guy,
Shen Jie was about to offer up his sordid history like bbq on a stick, but before he could
form his words he saw the reply:
[He Zhao]: But Old Xie’s mine.
Shen Jie: “……”
He Zhao sent the text and Shen Jie’s avatar turned grey in a single second, like magic.
He didn’t even say goodbye and straight up disappeared.
How rude.
Old Tang finished talking about the two shocking pieces of news, then started reporting the
grades of the other people in class according to the ranking.
He had said their class did fairly well in this exam. This was not just consolation. Although
they had scored fewer points, the difficulty of this exam was higher and, on the whole, they
had improved.
Usually, after Xue Xisheng’s name was announced their Qing-ge’s name would be right
after. Who could have expected that Xu Qingqing’s grades had dropped her class ranking by
several places?
“What’s the matter?” He Zhao said quietly. “Qing-ge didn’t do well?”
“I don’t know.”
Xie Yu glanced over and only saw Xu Qingqing’s straight-backed silhouette and the braid at
the back of her head.
They had initially worried that Xu Qingqing would feel bad, but she didn’t act any
differently the whole class period and continued to listen to the lesson as she should. After
studying her for a while, Liu Cunhao let down his guard after class ended. He slapped Wan
Da’s shoulder and said, “Look, our Qing-ge is our Qing-ge. A man—”
Before Liu Cunhao finished speaking, Xu Qingqing’s initially straight back suddenly curved
over and she buried her face in the crook of her elbow.
“…You—you’re crying?”
Xu Qingqing crying left everyone around her helpless.
Xu Jing lightly patted her back and said, over and over, “It’s fine. It’s just an exam.”
He Zhao dragged Xie Yu over to Class 8 to draw the cards, then went back to class. This was
the scene they saw: Xu Qingqing sitting, red-eyed, and Liu Cunhao and the others standing
in a line in front of her, taking turns. “I’ll tell a joke. There was a little penguin…”
For many people, the pressure brought on by Year 3 was hard to accept immediately.
Cruel competition, uncertainty about the future, and the hopes of their family…
Anyone could see what had happened here.
Through the window, He Zhao joined the group too. He said loudly, “Qing-ge! I’ll do a
miraculous magic trick for you.”
This guy’s crappy magic—who knew where he had learned it from—needed someone to
work with him, so Xie Yu took the temporary position of magician’s assistant.
In the end, He Zhao lost the plot with his first line. He pointed at his assistant and said, “I’ll
introduce you. This is my shill.”
Xie Yu said, “…Do you actually know how to do this or not?”
Xu Qingqing: “……”
Xu Qingqing was speechless, but she also felt her eyes prickle and quietly blinked. “Are you
sick? Go, get lost. Go cool off.”
This lot of boys was really clumsy beyond belief. They had no idea how to console people at
all and each of their plans was more bizarre than the last.
But, for some reason, she felt a little better.

Translation notes:
[1] God Ou: netspeak for someone with very good luck.

Chapter 109 – Your futures contain endless possibilities.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
“Qing-ge, give me another chance?”
Xu Qingqing pretended to be angry and slammed the pen gripped tightly in her hand onto
the table. She got halfway through her act, then couldn’t help smiling. “Give you and your
shill another chance?”
Liu Cunhao laughed until he plopped to the ground and pounded the floor with his fists.
He Zhao: “……”
Xie Yu found it embarrassing. He picked up He Zhao by the collar and dragged him straight
back to the back row.
Although they had botched it, Xu Qingqing did seem to be in a better mood. When Xu Jing
handed snacks over, she even ate a few bites. For a moment, Xie Yu even thought: Maybe it
was real magic.
This person…
He influenced the atmosphere easily. Messy, noisy, with too much sound. Sometimes Xie Yu
was so annoyed he wanted to kick him, but he also couldn’t help wanting to draw closer.
At this thought, Xie Yu turned and looked at him.
After returning to his seat, He Zhao had quieted down. He had unwrapped a lollipop and
tossed it into his mouth. When he wasn’t talking, he subconsciously let out a serious air
belying his age. Even though the act of holding a lollipop in his mouth was languid and a
little rascally.
“What are you looking at?”
He Zhao saw that Xu Qingqing had regained her strength and was standing up to punch Liu
Cunhao. Only then did he look away and discover that his little friend by his side had been
staring at him for a long time.
He lifted a hand and took hold of the plastic stick, then said, “Do you want this? Call me ge
and I’ll give it to you.”
Xie Yu didn’t want the sweet at all, but in that split second he seemed to have fallen under a
spell and obediently called him ‘ge.’
Liu Cunhao had summoned his strength intending to bring forth all Xu Qingqing’s
spiritedness, but he had overdone his provocation and nearly suffered a terrible backlash.
He had provoked Xu Qingqing so much that she chased him out of the classroom and they
had a stand-off in the corridor.
Xu Qingqing rolled up her sleeves. “Hao-zi, you get over here.”
Liu Cunhao said, “I won’t,” and ran toward the classroom’s rear door. His gaze swept over
the last row and landed on the lollipop in his Yu-ge’s mouth.
He was preoccupied with dodging and his mind spun for a long time before it clicked.
…That lollipop was in Zhao-ge’s mouth just now though?
They called them supplementary lessons, but it was the same as if school had started again.
They didn’t cover the new Year 3 textbooks yet, and when they covered new content in
class they also reviewed previous content. The classes moved at a quick pace and it was
only when the last period had nearly ended that they could furtively relax.
Xue Yu was doing several new practice questions Old Wu had set for him. He got halfway,
then discovered that his thought process wasn’t quite right. He was about to strike it
through when the student in front of him reached back and tossed a note onto his desk
without a word.
Xie Yu lifted his eyebrows and unfolded the note. The first line was eye-catching: Let’s
discuss what to eat for dinner. Please vote. We’ll eat at whichever place has the most votes.
Below it was a list of shop names. Peking U, Gold List, Valedictorian House.
Someone full of inspiration had even written a campaign speech. The loyal Valedictorian
House protector had written flowing praise about it. Their food is really good. When I can’t
find a way forward, when my soul sinks into confusion, the Valedictorian House’s food will
always wake me up…
Xie Yu said, “Are they sick?”
“They’re even campaigning?” He Zhao exclaimed as he looked at it. “They’re being too
sincere. This friend has actually moved me.”
He Zhao ticked off his choice, then wadded up the paper again and tossed it at the next
column of students.
Wu Zheng finished explaining a question and was about to assign homework for evening
self-study. When he looked up, he saw the activity on the classroom floor. “What are you
passing? Pass it over here for me to see.”
The student in the next column held on to the note and wouldn’t turn it in, but Wu Zheng
stepped off the podium and started a 3-minute snatch-fight with him. After getting the note
and seeing its contents, he wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. “I say, all of you aren’t
paying attention to class and coming up with—what is this—is the food at the Valedictorian
House really so good?”
In the end, they really went to the Valedictorian House for a meal. They split into two tables
and ordered several dishes.
The restaurant really gave many types of discounts for all kinds of wondrous reasons.
When they settled the bill, the lady boss gave them a ‘20 percent vacation supplementary
lesson special discount.’
The sky gradually grew dark.
The temperature plummeted and it was no longer as stuffy and hot as it had been during
the daytime. He Zhao walked at the very end of the line. When he touched his little friend’s
hand he felt that his little friend’s fingertips were a little cool.
Xie Yu froze for a moment. The noise by his ear continued; Luo Wenqiang and the others
were still discussing the food from the Valedictorian House. In his palm, warmth passed
from his boyfriend’s body to his.
He Zhao made a shushing gesture at him and said, “I’ll just hold your hand for a while.”
Xie Yu didn’t say anything. His fingers curved upwards and he grasped He Zhao’s hand
back.
The street was very long. Liu Cunhao and the others walked in front. As Wan Da walked, he
jumped up to pluck leaves from the tree. Suddenly, he said, “I want to go to Fudan!”
Someone laughed, “Did you get drunk just from eating rice?”
Jeering was jeering, but this lot had too much free time after the meal. He hooked an arm
around Wan Da’s shoulders and said, “I recommend that you turn left. See that shop?
There’s no Fudan here, but you can get a cup of Fudan milk tea.”
He Zhao’s hand tightened around his. “Have you thought about it? Where are you planning
to go?”
Which school to go to.
Everybody was asking that question. That morning, Old Tang had pulled him over to hear
his thoughts, too. After all, with his and He Zhao’s grades, as long as they wanted to get in,
they could get in anywhere.
“I’m not worried about anything else. Just on the topic of what you want to study, you have
to have some ideas.” Old Tang finished his lecture, then asked, “Is there a concentration
you’re interested in?”
While preparing for the exams, everyone learned the same things. Just those few subjects.
But university was different. There were all kinds of concentrations and Tang Sen hoped
they would step out of the framework and think carefully about this issue.
What he was interested in.
……
Xie Yu thought for a long time and the scene that eventually surfaced in his mind was that
of Madam Gu after she fainted. That day, he had been completely distraught and fumbled
around not knowing what to do. His heart suddenly skipped a few beats.
Xie Yu recovered and said uncertainly, “Ah, I’m still considering it. What about you?”
The whole school was empty and leaves rustled in the wind.
“I want to be closer to you.”
He Zhao repeated, “As long as I’m close to you, that’ll do.”
In the end, the planned evening self-study session did not happen. Old Tang had heard from
somewhere that Xu Qingqing had cried after class and wanted to counsel them to not be too
anxious.
In the end, he just secretly gave them a vacation.
Xie Yu had just gotten a change of clothes and headed for the shower. After he took off his
shirt, someone knocked on the bathroom door. “Old Tang messaged the group chat and said
to go to the quad.”
Xie Yu’s hand still rested at his waist, poised to take off his pants. “The quad?”
“The thoughts of a middle-aged man… I don’t understand them.”
Not only He Zhao, the rest of Class 3 also didn’t quite understand it either.
[Liu Cunhao]: The quad?
[Wan Da]: Don’t tell me we’re going to run?
[Luo Wenqiang]: Ah! The quad! We’re going to run!
He Zhao paused. Hearing no running water from the doorway, he pulled open the door.
“Are you showering or not…”
Xie Yu had just put his T-shirt back on.
Who knew how they would need to suffer on the quad. It would be too troublesome to
come back and have to shower again.
The hem of his shirt caught just beneath his ribs. He reached out to pull on it but touched
He Zhao’s hand instead.
This guy’s hand moved, as if accidentally, along the bare line of Xie Yu’s back.
Xie Yu was about to say, ‘Don’t goddamn let your hands wander,’ but the person behind him
collected himself and helped him get his clothes in order, then lowered his head and kissed
his neck. “Let’s go.”
He Zhao was about to let him off, but this time Xie Yu got ideas. He turned around and
leaned against the side of the sink, watching him. “Kiss me?”
They were the last to arrive. By the time they got there Luo Wenqiang was already leading
everyone else in warm-up exercises.
Class 3’s gym rep was very excited. “Come on, let’s warm up! I think we’re definitely going
on a night run! Old Tang is fashionable!”
Xie Yu prepared to do a 1000m run, but in the end Old Tang made them line up and
commanded, “Let’s take a walk.”
“……”
Luo Wenqiang was thinking of flying freely on the running track. When he heard the words
‘take a walk,’ he was confused. “Sir, this is…?”
Old Tang was in a joyous mood, too. He put his hands behind his back and said, “I’m taking
you on a stroll.”
Luo Wenqiang had completely lost his ability to think.
After Old Tang had gone back, he was still worried about them. So the middle-aged man
racked his brains and thought about it backwards and forwards, and had picked an
inconceivable way of helping them relieve stress that didn’t suit young people at all.
The boys and the girls each formed a line, and the two lines of students walked around the
quad once.
As Xie Yu walked, he was mulling over which way to escape back to the dorm later. He Zhao
glanced at him and immediately knew what he was calculating. He reminded in a whisper,
“Give the middle-aged man some face. We’ll see. Anyway, he’ll make us walk two rounds at
most.”
“…Who’s not giving the middle-aged man face, here?”
Old Tang really didn’t lead them on the walk for very long. Less than two rounds later, he
was tired and sat on the track to talk with them.
The sky grew thoroughly dark.
The wind that rushed up to meet their faces was slightly cool.
Perhaps they were influenced by the night scene or couldn’t clearly see each other’s
expressions. The feelings which everybody wanted to say, but usually pressed down and
didn’t dare to reveal, now bubbled up.
They were far from the top, even in a dangerously low position. Facing the college exams
and facing the city rankings from where they were, it would be a lie to say that they weren’t
panicking.
Old Tang sighed lightly. “Maybe some of you think that you didn’t do well this time. That’s
not true. If you didn’t try hard, that’s one thing, but there’s no such thing as not doing well. I
think you all are very good and you can be even better.”
Xu Qingqing had initially already dealt with her feelings, but for some reason they all
rushed up again and she started crying again, pathetically.
But it wasn’t out of sadness. She felt as if someone was tousling her head after she had
fallen down.
“And someone told me that they felt confused about the future and uncertain,” Old Tang
said. “That’s not confusion… silly kids, your futures contain endless possibilities.”
For a moment, no one said anything.
Around them, only several rows of streetlights outside the quad’s chain-link fence were lit.
The light from the roadside shone, gentle and slow.
Xie Yu braced himself on the rubber track and someone tugged at the hem of his shirt.
He Zhao lay down directly on the track, one hand pillowed behind his head. He didn’t say
anything, only pointed with his chin indicating for Xie Yu to look up.
Xie Yu followed his gaze and raised his head.
He saw the sky full of stars.
Points and pinpricks, radiating light, scattered across this piece of the night sky.
Chapter 110 – “With courage, go off to even further places.”
Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
After a period of silence, Xu Qingqing wiped away her tears and reached out a hand first.
With confidence and assurance, she yelled, “Fight on!”
One after another, the people around her stacked their hands on top of hers.
Palms against the backs of hands.
Wan Da said, “That’s my Qing-ge! Tough!”
Liu Cunhao said, “Fight, fight, fight!”
He Zhao sat up and reached out to join in the fun. “Fight on.”
Xie Yu was the last. He didn’t say anything as he put his hand on the back of He Zhao’s.
His fingers were slender and long, with prominent joints.
He Zhao couldn’t help staring at them for a while, then he looked up at Xie Yu.
The two locked eyes for several seconds. For a moment they both imagined they saw
themselves from Year 1, when they had just joined this school. At the time, He Zhao always
had a cigarette in hand, his reputation disorderly and his expression full of disdain. He had
caused a lot of trouble.
And Xie Yu, as the Big Bro of the West—even fewer people dared provoke him.
Who would have known that so many things would happen after that?
It was pure coincidence that he had joined Erzhong and he had had no hopes… but, in Old
Tang’s words, there were ‘endless possibilities.’ Like a miracle, a possibility had linked
them together.
There would still be, in the future.
There would still be even more miracles.
Who knew which of them started smiling first. Then Xie Yu looked away. He couldn’t help
the corner of his mouth lifting in a smile, too.
Liu Cunhao and the others had started learning from He Zhao and began to brag. “I… my
future is limitless.”
“I… will definitely become someone who does great things. When that time comes, I’ll give
you each an autograph, too. When I make a name for myself, then—”
“Sign it bigger. An A4 piece of paper is too small and you can’t express yourself properly.”
“……”
After they bragged for a long time, the noise level died down again.
One after the other, everybody lay down on the track. They lay down in several groups,
bodies facing all directions. They spread their arms out to the wind blowing over them and
shut their eyes.
They had intended to shut their eyes to relax, but, after a short while, many of them had
fallen asleep. Luo Wenqiang had even started snoring.
The snores were accompanied by the faint sound of insects chirping.
Xie Yu half-opened his eyes again and glanced at the night sky.
In his mind, there weren’t any other thoughts… he just thought it was very bright.
After taking a walk and having a heart-to-heart talk with a middle-aged man, the
atmosphere of Class 3 had relaxed some.
Facing half a summer vacation’s worth of intensive studying, each of them adopted a very
proper attitude. They got used to their status as ‘Year 3 exam takers’ and rushed to
complete the first round of revision before the vacation ended.
Conversely, on the day school formally started again, they didn’t feel a sense of novelty for
the ‘new school term.’
A big batch of new Year 1 students had joined the school. The school broadcast welcomed
them for a long time. The new students were confused, and just having joined the school,
they were curious about everything.
The other school buildings also regained their former energy and were noisy all the time.
Their school building was indeed for Year 3 students only. No matter how noisy it was
outside, it never caught up to them. But, occasionally, groups of girls would sneak over to
look at the two ‘legendary figures’ of Class 3.
Wu Zheng was especially troubled by this. On many occasions, he opened the door to chase
them away. “Which class are you from—”
But every time, before Wu Zheng could finish yelling, they would immediately run
downstairs like scared animals.
Wu Zheng could only close the door and scold them. “Xie Yu, He Zhao, the two of you, fool
around a little less. They were from Year 1, right? It hasn’t been long since school started
and they’ve already found their way here.”
Xie Yu had been doing questions when, for no reason, he was accused of ‘fooling around.’
“……”
He Zhao was even more incredulous. “Ah?”
Wu Zheng said, “Don’t ‘ah’ me. Did you solve that question from just now? Come up and do
it at the podium.”
He Zhao had been about to say, “What’s it got to do with me and Old Xie,” then he thought
back to how the girls at the window had pointed in their direction, and had a rare—correct
—epiphany. Holding his scratch paper, he stood up and whispered, “I didn’t fool around.
There’s only you.”
Xie Yu smiled and said, “Get lost, you.”
This question wasn’t difficult and He Zhao solved it quickly. But his solution was very novel
and Wu Zheng had to watch until he was halfway through before understanding how on
earth he had solved it. “Classmate, could you solve the problem according to a normal
person’s thought process?”
He Zhao said, “Normal thought process? There’s no fun in the normal process.”
Wu Zheng said, “You’re having too much fun. Is one side of the blackboard enough for you
to write on?”
The class erupted into laughter.
Wu Zheng had learned his lesson. In future, when he called on someone to solve questions,
he had better not call this one. He was too wild and uncontrollable.
“Yu-ge, I didn’t fully understand that question from just now.” After class was dismissed,
Wan Da came over carrying his exercise book. “I got to this step, then drew the function
diagram. I understand that much, but after that…”
The several homework questions Wu Zheng had left for them at the end were a little
difficult. Wan Da had struggled with them for a long time, but in the end he still had not
found the solution.
Xie Yu took the book and glanced at it. “What did you understand? Your diagram is wrong.”
Wan Da corrected the question in several strokes. When he closed the exercise book, his
nosy heart was ignited again. “Do you know that our school is hosting a coming-of-age
ceremony next month?”
All the schools in A City held coming-of-age ceremonies the same way.
It was a rather formal event and the selected location was far away. All in all, they would be
gone for two days and spend one night at a hotel.
If they were looking forward to this so-called ‘ceremony,’ they wanted to go out to play
even more.
Xie Yu said, “Coming-of-age ceremony?”
Wan Da said hopefully, “I don’t know what it is, either. But, either way, it’s true that we’re
going out to play… and we’re staying over for a night. It just sounds carefree.”
They had just not played enough over the so-called spring and autumn school trips. This
time around it was no different from going on holiday.
The more Wan Da talked, the more he became immersed in his own fantasies. Xie Yu
elbowed He Zhao in the waist. “Ge, attending a coming-of-age at your age isn’t fitting, is it.”
He Zhao reached out to hook an arm around his neck, but found only air.
“…Get over here. What do you mean by that?”
“Was I not clear?” Xie Yu said. “I mean you’re old.”
Halfway through Wan Da’s vivid musings he looked up and saw that the two of them were
entangled together again.
These two would often get handsy for no reason. Out in the open. They had no sense of how
they were affecting others at all.
But this time the situation was a little different. Their usual roles were reversed and Xie Yu
was now the one being chased and beaten.
He Zhao was not really going to use force and was only playing with him. He took two steps
and couldn’t hold it any more, then stood in the doorway and smiled as he beckoned to Xie
Yu. “Don’t run. Come back.”
Xie Yu stopped and leaned against the window, looking at him.
He Zhao said, “I won’t mess with you,” and walked into the corridor. But when he got close,
he still caught hold of Xie Yu and wouldn’t let go. “I’m old?”
People came and went in the corridor.
They were both tall and long-legged, clad in uniforms, and just looking at their shadows
stacked nearly on top of each other already made people’s imaginations run wild.
Wan Da shook his head. He was used to it. He thought, anyway, the reputations of these two
have already been wrecked so badly not even dregs are left.
The detailed agenda of the coming-of-age ceremony seemed to have grown wings. Within a
few class periods it spread throughout the year.
There would be three locations: the history museum, a famous person’s former residence,
and then a temple fair in the evening.
“You’re all very excited.”
Old Tang didn’t want them to be distracted and planned to take some class time several
days before the event to talk with them about the coming-of-age ceremony. He endured it
with much difficulty until the week before the event, then discovered that, before he could
say a word, this lot had already found out about it. “Prepare all the things you want to
bring… at 8 a.m. we’ll board the bus and go to the People’s Memorial Museum first.”
They didn’t know what to prepare, so they followed the pattern of the spring and autumn
school trips. Aside from several simple changes of clothes, they brought a big bag of snacks.
Before they set off, Liu Cunhao said with a troubled conscience, “I didn’t bring my
homework. Am I too much?”
“What’s this about bringing homework? Leave your homework in your dorm,” Luo
Wenqiang said. “It’s very responsible. It’ll take good care of itself.”
The weather was hot and the bus was full of the smell of formaldehyde.
Xie Yu had just taken off his mask. When he got on the bus and got a whiff of the smell, he
put his mask back on.
He Zhao adjusted the angle of the air-conditioner over his head so that the cold air was
blowing toward Xie Yu. “Is it bad?”
“It’s a little stuffy.”
He Zhao continued, “Ge will lend you his shoulder to lean on.”
Xie Yu said, “What damn use is that?”
But after Xie Yu looked down and sent Madam Gu a text reporting his situation, he still
leaned against He Zhao’s shoulder and fell asleep inside the gently rocking bus.
He Zhao lifted a hand, his fingers coming to rest lightly by Xie Yu’s ear. He caught hold of
the black string behind his ear and undid one side of the mask for him.
He couldn’t help staring a few moments longer.
Then He Zhao recovered, pulled out his own phone, and sent a text to his own Old He for
propriety’s sake.
He thought Old He would probably just respond ‘Got it,’ but after waiting several minutes,
he got a different set of words: You’ve grown up.
The bus ride would take about two hours. At the beginning, this lot made some noise and
yelled about wanting to sing songs.
“What? No, don’t sing.” He Zhao motioned to them not to make a racket. “My deskmate is
sleeping.”
Someone yelled from the back row, “—Zhao-ge, you’re doting on Yu-ge too much.”
After this emerged, everyone else began to blindly make noise about it, too.
He Zhao had no intention of denying it, but Liu Cunhao, Wan Da, and the others reacted
even more strongly than him, the person involved.
“Of course good bros must dote on each other,” Liu Cunhao said, throwing an arm around
Wan Da’s shoulder. “Right, Da-zi? Do I dote on you?”
Wan Da grit his teeth. “Yes! A lot!”
“……”
They were making too much noise and Xie Yu was a light sleeper. He half-opened his eyes
and the other side of his mask fell off, too. “Doting on what?”
“Nothing. Just don’t ask.”
He Zhao said, “These two seem to have a problem with their brains today.”
When the Year 3 group reached the People’s Memorial Museum, it was nearly noon. Before
beginning the formal tour, Erzhong’s administration had set up a simple ceremony nearby.
Old Tang stood at the front of the line.
Mad Dog had changed his style and was wearing a sharp suit with leather shoes. Under the
burning sun, he didn’t look hot in the least. “We didn’t bring you on this coming-of-age
ceremony to play. Students, you’re 18. You’re adults now.”
When he said the word ‘adults,’ the audience quieted down.
They thought about the young faces of Erzhong’s new year 1 students, just like theirs when
they had first joined the school. Then they thought about how, in the blink of an eye, they
were here now.
“You are adults now and must learn something very important. Take responsibility and
have a character that is moral and upstanding. Study hard and train hard, and plant both
feet firmly on the ground. I feel happy and proud of you, from the bottom of my heart…”
“No matter where you go from here, and how far you go, do not forget—a heart of
innocence! That is the motto of Erzhong!”
“Our Erzhong spirit!”
Halfway through his speech, Mad Dog’s voice paused for a second.
Then he turned around and raised a hand to wipe at something. Xie Yu, to the side, clearly
saw Dean Jiang wiping away tears. But he was worried he’d be found out, so he then wiped
his forehead pretending that he was wiping away sweat.
It was a very official and formal speech. The weather was hot and he was burning up under
the sun.
Nobody around him showed a hint of impatience.
Eventually, Dean Jiang showed a rare smile. His voice lowered and, different from his usual
imposing severity, he showed a little gentleness. “Congratulations. You’ve come of age.”
“With courage, go off to even further places.”

Chapter 111 – I just want you to be safe and happy.

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
After Dean Jiang gave his speech, several other school administrators went up to take their
turn.
The sun grew hotter and hotter.
“Seems like they’ll give out some things later.” He Zhao was tall and he could see the paper
box by Dean Jiang’s side at a glance from where he stood. He said, guessing, “Looks like
books?”
Other schools gave books at their coming-of-age ceremonies. The gift was simple and
brutal: a copy of the Constitution. But looking at the size of the box it probably didn’t
contain such thick and heavy books.
Old Tang was busy maintaining order. Xie Yu leaned back quietly; he hadn’t clearly heard
what He Zhao said.
He Zhao bent over. If he lowered his head a little more he would touch the tips of Xie Yu’s
ears. He thought about it, then called, “Old Xie.”
Xie Yu was uncomfortable under the sun and raised a hand to shield his face from the light.
“You’re an adult now, you’ve grown up. There’s one important thing you have to learn.”
Behind him, He Zhao’s voice was low, and when He Zhao spoke his breath touched Xie Yu’s
ear. His words were very similar to Mad Dog’s from just now and for a moment Xie Yu
didn’t realize what exactly he meant. He paused, then asked, “What?”
He Zhao said, “Take responsibility.”
“Mm.”
Xie Yu’s response was lukewarm. Based on his knowledge of He Zhao, this probably wasn’t
anything good.
As expected, the moment he said, ‘Mm,’ He Zhao immediately continued to say, “For
example, take responsibility for your boyfriend.”
“……”
So this was his goddamn ruse.
“Take responsibility my–” Xie Yu got halfway through his curse and didn’t continue. He cut
straight to the point. “If you have something to say, why don’t you just say it? What’s the
point of beating around the bush?”
He Zhao had just wanted to tease him. Hearing this, he smiled and bent his head, putting his
forehead to the crook of Xie Yu’s neck.
At this time, the last leader had finished speaking on stage.
Looking at the time, it was about time to go into the memorial for the tour. But all the
homeroom teachers were gathered by the box doing who knows what. About five minutes
later, each of them carried a stack of things back.
—It was a thick bundle of envelopes.
Old Tang had not told them about this part beforehand. When Xie Yu received the letter, he
was stunned for a moment.
On the envelope was written ‘Xie Yu.’
The handwriting was proper and beautiful, and very familiar. At a glance he could tell it
was Madam Gu’s handwriting.
“Where’s yours?” Xie Yu glanced backward. On the envelope in He Zhao’s hands, right
under the big words ‘He Zhao’ was another messy line: I’m your pa.
“……”
He Zhao saw it, too. He coughed lightly and said, “That’s my Old He. He’s a character.”
Before, in the office, he had heard Old Tang phone He Zhao’s dad. Xie Yu thought that he
had a good understanding of this ‘Old He,’ but this went far beyond what he had imagined.
“He is quite the character.”
As they spoke, ambient music began playing from the speakers to the side. The song ‘A
Grateful Heart’¹ flowed out alongside the sound of static.
The students who had received letters were all in a state of confusion and talked quietly
amongst themselves:
“What is this?”
“My dad wrote to me?”
“My mom?”
Liu Cunhao, as the class rep, stood at the head of the line and led the group.
“What is this?” He opened the letter and read out the first line. “To my dearest son…”
Initially, his voice held a joking tone.
But after reading out these words, he suddenly went quiet.
Old Tang distributed the last letter, then stood by Dean Jiang’s side and said, “How did you
think of this?”
Dean Jiang usually looked cruel and heartless, but even though his words were harsh,
sometimes his thoughts were even more meticulous than those of Tang Sen, the literature
teacher. He had planned the coming-of-age ceremony from very early on. He had wanted to
make it special and do his best to let this group of kids remember this day.
Dean Jiang sighed. “Some things are hard to talk about in the day-to-day. Maybe through a
letter, their parents can… communicate with them more.”
Xie Yu opened the envelope and found that Madam Gu had filled three sheets of paper.
The opening line was, ‘I love you.’
For a moment, through the thin sheets of paper, Xie Yu seemed to see Madam Gu holding a
pen and sitting at a desk, writing.
—I love you, but sometimes love is a burden too.
I am also very grateful to you. I’m grateful that you came to be by my side.
Xie Yu’s hands tightened on the paper. He couldn’t explain it, but he felt as if someone had
gently squeezed his heart.
Several girls from the next class over couldn’t keep their feelings in check and started
sobbing out loud. They held their hands over their mouths and the muffled sounds of crying
emanated from between their fingers.
As these girls had started crying, the atmosphere grew even more emotional.
Sometimes the most genuine, strongest thought in one’s heart is also the thought which one
is most embarrassed to say.
Xie Yu read two sheets, then looked up. He stared at a nearby tree for a while, then
recovered and read the last sheet one word and one line at a time.
Since you were very young, I couldn’t help thinking about your future. I thought about what
you might be like when you grow up, where you would go, and what you would do. 360
professions.² I thought about all of them.
Now, you should think for yourself.
No matter what you choose, I feel proud of you.
I just want you to be safe and happy.
“The Liyang Erzhong coming-of-age ceremony ends here.” Dean Jiang took the microphone,
then continued to say a few concluding words. “I hope that no matter what difficulties you
meet in future, you will remember this day. All your feelings, your courage, and your first
heart.”
“Now, each class please follow your teacher and proceed in order into the museum for the
tour…”
The tour of the People’s Memorial Museum was very quiet. Maybe they had not yet
recovered from the ceremony just now or, perhaps, facing the heavy weight of history, they
were unable to speak. They took the tour according to the given path and emerged. By this
time, it was nearly 3 in the afternoon.
Only when they got on the bus to go to the restaurant reserved for dinner did they grow
energetic again.
He Zhao said loudly, “I’ll make myself clear now. Later, I refuse to sit at the same table with
the gym rep.”
Eight to a table, they basically needed to fight in order to eat.
After He Zhao’s proclamation, Liu Cunhao immediately raised his hand. “I refuse, too.”
Luo Wenqiang was kicked back and forth like a rubber ball. The way things were
progressing, he would have to make up a table with Old Tang and the others. “Hao-zi, you
don’t dote on me any more? Where’s the mutual doting we talked about?!”
“……”
He Zhao took the lead and livened the atmosphere, then fell silent after that. With one hand
stuck in his pocket, he leaned his head back and shut his eyes.
Even though it was pitch-dark in front of his eyes, the words from Old He’s letter still
surfaced little by little.
—I was also worried that when you fell down, you got hurt.
—But more than that, I believed in you. How could my son give up over such a small
difficulty?
In He Zhao’s recollection, Old He was a very cool parent. Before, he might have thought that
Old He’s method of education was quite inhumane. If He Zhao fell, Old He would never
reach out to help him up. “If you have the guts, lie down on the floor for the rest of your life.
If you don’t, then get up.”
He Zhao thought this far, then faintly felt something move at his side. When he opened his
eyes, his little friend beside him had already inappropriately stuck his fingertips a little way
into his pocket.
He Zhao said nothing. He leaned against the back of the seat and stared at his little friend.
Xie Yu didn’t dodge, either, and directly grasped He Zhao’s hand.
Luo Wenqiang and the others’ conversation had drifted from dinner to the hotel. “When I
get back later, I’ll do some homework…”
“You brought homework? Are you an animal? Didn’t you say it could take good care of
itself?!”
“I was consoling you. You can’t believe consoling words, can you?”
The restaurant’s food wasn’t very good. Plastic tablecloths were laid over big wooden
tables, and there were about a dozen tables in the hall. Many classes were squeezed in
together and dinner tasted like the food that came out of the big pots in the cafeteria.
Luo Wenqiang still sat at their table, making everyone nervous.
He Zhao was worried Xie Yu would let him off and reminded him, “Later, use your
chopsticks to snatch food, or not even the dregs will be left for you.”
Xie Yu split his chopsticks apart. He wasn’t concerned at all. “He can try.”
All the people who sat at a table with Luo Wenqiang sat with their backs straight, standing
by as if what awaited them was not a big meal but a battle.
Wan Da sat next to Luo Wenqiang. He felt that today’s meal could definitely go down in
history. While the other tables quietly ate and complained from time to time that the food
wasn’t to their taste, there was pandemonium at their table.
He Zhao tossed away his chopsticks. “Damn, Hao-zi, hold him down. Don’t give him the
chance to take food—”
“Wan Da, don’t eat any more. Help out,” Liu Cunhao said. “Attack his weak point!”
Wan Da was confused. “Weak point? What weak point?”
Xie Yu said, “Take his chopsticks.”
Luo Wenqiang was attacked from all sides. Someone held him down, pressing his face to
the table. “Why are you doing this to me?”
The people at the next table over were dumbstruck. “Is this even still a meal? They’re being
so ferocious.”
The group of them fought together and managed to protect half a plate of baked fish in the
center of the table.
Instead of intricate dishes and exotic delicacies, this meal of cafeteria food-that-came-from-
a-pot where the cook’s hand had slipped and added a few more spoonfuls of salt was more
comparable to the scene of a traffic accident.
What nobody knew was that they wouldn’t forget the taste for many years to come.
The agenda for the two days was quite packed. After eating, they cleaned up slightly and set
off for the temple fair.
It wasn’t as stuffy and hot as that afternoon. When they got off the bus, several gusts of cool
wind even blew over from the lake.
South Temple was a unique tourist spot. As evening fell, more and more crowds gathered.
On the street, hawkers sold accessories out of push carts. There were red embroidery,
tassels hanging from the bottom, delicate and intricate.
And there were old folks who set up stalls selling river lanterns. Bent over, they sat by the
lake, feet on the stone stairs.
The culture and people here were different from A City. It looked a little old-fashioned.
Old Tang was worried about them. There were many people here, and night was about to
fall fully. He asked them several times if they had brought their phones with them. “…All
right, are you sure you have them? Then, everybody, split into groups and do what you
want. At 7 p.m. we’ll gather back at the entrance.”
As Xie Yu listened, someone suddenly slapped his back.
He Zhao was behind him and mouthed, “Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere,” He Zhao said. “Or do you want to stay here and group up?”

Xie Yu remembered the autumn school trip and thought, Forget it. It’s annoying with too
many people.
After Old Tang mentioned splitting into groups, Liu Cunhao subconsciously turned to look
for the two school tyrants and happened to catch sight of their departing silhouettes.
Both of them were wearing school uniforms and made a compatible match when they stood
side by side. Before walking very far, He Zhao reached out with no hesitation and took Xie
Yu’s hand.

The next chapter of FS is the final chapter. See you there!

Translation notes:
[1] This song by Ouyang Feifei
[2] ‘360 professions’: An expression meaning all kinds of professions.

Chapter 112 – Main Story Complete (End)

Fake Slackers
Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
First Published on Chaleuria
—
When He Zhao reached out to take Xie Yu’s hand, Xie Yu squeezed back out of habit. He
didn’t dodge or hesitate.
The sky gradually grew darker.
All they could see was red. The ground was covered with remaining fragments of the
fireworks, and lanterns filled the street, glimmering.
They walked side by side for a while. On the way, they passed a stall selling sweets. He Zhao
looked twice, his hand tightening as he pulled Xie Yu towards the stall. “Shall ge buy some
sweets for you?”
Some female tourists surrounded the stand.
The syrup was orange-yellow and translucent, glistening under the light from the
streetlamps behind them. The shopkeeper was an old hand at this and in two or three
strokes he drew a dragon with fangs bared and brandishing its claws.
Cheers rose from the crowd.
“How childish.” Xie Yu didn’t want to squeeze into the line. “How old are you?”
He Zhao lifted a hand and pointed at one of the sweets. He said loudly, “Sir, this one.”
He Zhao used to carry lollipops with him to help him quit smoking. Then he got used to it.
Even though he no longer ate them often, when he went to the convenience store at school
he would get two and put them in the pocket of his uniform, just in case.
After he had grown friendlier with the class, Xu Qingqing and the others got braver and
would occasionally come over to ask for sweets. “Zhao-ge, do you still have sweets?”
At the time, He Zhao had been ‘mired in video games’ and unable to extricate himself. He
still firmly held the position of ‘bottom-of-the-year student’ whom no one could budge no
matter how badly they did in the exams. He held onto his phone and didn’t bother with
them. “Wait a while. I’m at an important part.”
Xie Yu had just woken up. Still lying on his side, he reached for He Zhao’s pocket.
Xu Qingqing had frozen for a moment. When she came back to herself, she raised a hand to
indicate, “I want the strawberry one!”
Xie Yu said, somewhat impatiently, ‘Mm.’
He Zhao’s game had ended quickly, but he had situational awareness and pretended he
hadn’t yet finished.
……
After reminiscing this far, Xie Yu looked down at the sweet in his hand, thought for a while,
then bent down and tasted it.
It was cloyingly sweet.
The two of them were very close and the picture drawn in cane sugar was about half a
palm’s width long.
He Zhao bent down and bit down on the other side.
Several old-fashioned, resonant chimes rang out from a distance.
The moment the bells sounded, the lights on both sides of the street lit up again.
All along the path they had taken here, extending forward. The whole temple festival was
thoroughly illuminated by the lanterns’ light.
They left the area and walked a little further to the shopping street.
Xie Yu wanted to bring something back for Madam Gu. He picked a shop, but didn’t find
anything after looking through things for a while. There were many varieties of scarves on
the wall, but ones that suited Madam Gu were few and far in between.
He Zhao, on the other hand, picked something. “What about this one? Old He should be very
happy with this. Straightforward, but not simple. Classic, but fashionable.”
Next to him, Xie Yu was getting a headache listening to him.
He Zhao was holding a plain mug, the old-fashionedness of it practically about to come off
the cup and stick to his face. It was a classic design from the ‘80s in the classic color
combination of blue, green, and red. On the mug were six large words: Dad, it’s been hard
on you.
Xie Yu said, “Are you serious?”
He Zhao said, “Do I look like I’m the casual kind?”
“Ge, you’re very impressive.”
Xie Yu glanced over the other things on the shelves and said sincerely, “Really, you’re very
impressive. Among so many things, you picked out the ugliest one at a glance.”
He Zhao: “……”
Xie Yu remembered He Zhao’s personality and that of his father were cut from the same
mold, and thought that maybe the son had also inherited his father’s gift-giving strategies.
He probed, “What does your dad give you for gifts?”
He Zhao put the mug back, thought about it, began to say something, then stopped again.
“About that… I can’t explain it in a few words.”
Xie Yu raised his eyebrows.
He Zhao said, “Hold on. I’ll look for it.”
Xie Yu watched He Zhao pull out his phone and go through it for a long time, then He Zhao
stuffed one side of a pair of earphones into his ear.
It didn’t go in properly and Xie Yu lifted a hand to hold it in place.
On the phone screen was He Zhao’s WeChat conversation with his dad. Looking at the
message history, it was from He Zhao’s birthday from last year.
[Old He]: Son, happy birthday.
[Old He]: [Video]
In the video were a dozen or so children from Africa, wearing brightly colored clothes. The
children in front raised a blackboard in their hands. Three lines were written in chalk on
the blackboard: He Zhao, happy birthday! Wishing you health and success in all you do. Dad
loves you forever!
Love you!
The child in the lead shouted this, then the group of children echoed it. After the cheer, they
also included a short dance.
This was both a visual and auditory assault.
“……”
Xie Yu, caught unawares, was shocked by this video and couldn’t say anything for a long
time.
Before he could come up with the words, he heard He Zhao say, “At the time I was actually
quite touched.”
Xie Yu considered what to say and found that nothing he could say could express his
current feelings. Eventually, he took the tea mug of worrying taste and stuffed it in He
Zhao’s hands. He was thoroughly resigned, in word and in spirit. “Your family’s genetic
material is really outstanding.”
They ran into Xu Qingqing and the others on the shopping street. It was nearly time to
regroup, so the group of them walked toward the meeting spot.
He Zhao said, “Qing-ge, you bought a hammer?”
Xu Qingqing raised the massage stick in her hand and waved it in front of him. “This is not a
hammer! I think I’ve been studying too hard and need a massage…”
He Zhao smiled and took it to play with. All the way, when he had nothing to do, he rapped
Xie Yu’s back with it.
He rapped so much Xie Yu got impatient and nearly did violence to him in public.
“Is everyone here?” Liu Cunhao stood at the front of the line and looked around. “Don’t
move about. Let me count…”
Liu Cunhao finished counting and found they were two people short.
Luo Wenqiang got in contact with them, then hung up the phone and said, “They’re on the
way. Let’s wait a bit. The fireworks will go off in a while, anyway.”
The evening fireworks show lasted about ten minutes. The fireworks rose up from the
surface of the lake.
The meeting place happened to be by the lake. When Old Tang arrived, he saw Xie Yu and
He Zhao sitting on the railing. They were very gutsy—their hands were braced on the side
of the railing, both feet hovering off the ground as they leaned forward.
The wind rushed up to meet their faces.
“Wa-ah, it’s pretty.” The others braced themselves against the railing. Unable to stop
themselves, they also leaned over it.
Perhaps it was the light from the fireworks, but each of this group of kids had stars
sparkling in their eyes.
“Going out at night is forbidden. Don’t keep thinking about your rich night lives. Stay
quietly in your rooms and rest. If you’re caught, you’ll get demerit points right away.” On
the way back, Old Tang was worried and kept reminding them of this. “Do you all
understand?”
Several people called out, “We don’t need to go out to have rich night lives. We have six
people, short one person for Monopoly. Does anyone want to play? Room 3009. We’ll wait
for our fated person.”
“Over here. Murderer, pro league.”
“Me!”
“Count me in!”
They automatically ignored Xie Yu, whose luck was so good he had no friends, and shouted,
“Zhao-ge, are you coming? We’ll wait for you in 3009.”
“I’m not going.” He Zhao smiled and said, “I’ll play something else with Old Xie.”
Due to the headcount, Erzhong had made reservations across three hotels. The one they
were assigned was closest to the city center and the amenities around were better, too.
They indeed didn’t need to go out to have rich night lives.
Xie Yu took a simple shower, and when he pulled open the door to go out, He Zhao trapped
him in the doorway of the bathroom.
He Zhao had one arm braced against the wall. With his other hand, he leisurely undid the
buttons on his shirt, starting from the third button and moving downward. “About that, do
you want to play with something else? For instance, me.”
This guy really would die if he didn’t flirt for a day.
Xie Yu didn’t say anything. He moved forward a little, letting the water in his hair continue
to drip, and placed a kiss on his protruding Adam’s apple. Then he opened his mouth and
bit down, neither hard nor lightly.
This was a sensitive spot and He Zhao couldn’t help letting out a hiss.
He Zhao thought: his little friend was always like this. He looked calm and indifferent, but
his ability to flirt back was first-rate.
After Xie Yu had teased him this way, the situation was unsalvageable.
By the time Xie Yu reacted, the clothes he had put on not too long ago had nearly all been
removed.
Xie Yu had his back to the headboard in a half-sitting position. His fingers had been lightly
threaded through He Zhao’s hair, but as He Zhao serviced his lower body, his fingers curved
and he couldn’t help tugging a little harder.
Worried that the soundproofing in the hotel was not good, Xie Yu buried half his face in the
crook of He Zhao’s neck and didn’t dare make a sound.
Then he raised his hand, about to cover his mouth, but reflexively bit down on the joints of
his fingers.
On his slender, long fingers was a row of extremely suggestive bite marks, but his voice still
slipped out, a muted groan. Eventually, when he was roughly treated, his voice trailed off,
but was still harsh. “You goddamn… fuck.”
“Stop biting.”
He Zhao bent down and kissed the joints of his fingers, then said hoarsely, “…Be good.”
So Xie Yu dropped his hand to clutch at the sheets beneath him. His skin was already pale,
the loop of red thread around his wrist even more eye-catching in contrast.
After they were done, Xie Yu went to the bathroom to shower and found his legs were a
little weak.
A messy pile of clothes lay at his feet.
He Zhao started to say, “I’ll help you shower,” but before he finished, a certain little friend
who turned hostile the moment he got out of bed retorted, “Get lost.”
Xie Yu held onto the wall and picked up two pieces of clothing, then walked barefoot into
the bathroom.
Xie Yu took a quick shower. He had just turned off the faucet, the sound of water growing
quiet, when he heard a bout of knocking at the door.
“Big bros, are you there?!”
“Is it this room? It’s this room, right?”
“Big bros?”
“What is it?” When He Zhao opened the door, he still hadn’t finished putting on his clothes.
Through his wide open collar, two scratch marks were faintly visible. “You’re not sleeping?”
Wan Da stuck his head into the room and looked around. “Where’s Yu-ge?”
He Zhao tsked and pushed Wan Da’s head back out. “Watch where you’re looking. He’s
showering. Spit it out.”
“It’s like this… are you interested in coming along on a man’s quest?”
Wan Da and the others had grown tired of playing cards, but were still so excited they
couldn’t sleep. They remembered that on the bus they had looked up the amenities nearby
and found that there was a nearby park. Rumor had it there was a very famous wishing
pool in the park.
Luo Wenqiang forcibly cut in. “Right, right. Looking at the reviews, it’s very effective. We’re
going to go out and try it.”
He Zhao said, “How do you all have so many little girls’ dreams and thoughts?”
Luo Wenqiang was about to continue when he caught sight of Xie Yu coming out of the
bathroom.
Xie Yu was wearing only a black T-shirt, radiating aloofness. The corners of his eyes were
red, as if he had just cried, but also like that wasn’t the case. “What wishing pool?”
The news of the night raid on the wishing pool spread from one person to ten and, within
ten minutes, the whole class knew.
More and more people gathered in the corridor. Xie Yu just sat down on the carpet in the
corridor and discovered that, ultimately, this lot didn’t care in the least about the wishing
pool. The atmosphere of breaking the rules as a group and furtively going out in the middle
of the night to cause mischief was the important part.
“Let’s plan our battle route.”
“We’ll go down by the elevator, then form groups of three.”
“Watch out. There are security cameras in the lobby, but we can’t do anything about that.
We have to let the security cameras record our crimes!”
“……”
Xu Qingqing was the first to use her fists to hit someone. “Hao-zi, is something wrong with
your brain? What kind of idiot plan is this?”
Near midnight, the night was dark and heavy.
The park was indeed close by, just across the street. But the area containing the wishing
pool was not open to the public after hours so they had to climb over the fence and sneak
in.
The crying of insects sounded everywhere.
The dozen of them were like thieves. Xie Yu found it embarrassing and even took out his
mask and put it on.
“It’s so dark. Who can see your face clearly?” He Zhao smiled as he reached out and hooked
a finger around the string at Xie Yu’s ear. “Little friend, you have a heavy burden.”
The so-called wishing pool was just a little pond. A thick layer of coins covered the bottom.
Liu Cunhao was especially sincere and nearly knelt down in front of it. “Bless all of us with
high scores in the college exams.”
Luo Wenqiang said, “I hope Hao-zi’s wish comes true.”
Wan Da said, “Plus one.”
Xie Yu happened to touch a small stone. He picked it up and tossed it in the pool, where it
made several ripples. He couldn’t help laughing. “Plus one?”
He Zhao noticed that Luo Wenqiang was carrying a bag in his hand and reached out to
nudge it. “What is this?”
“Fireworks I bought at the temple fair.” Luo Wenqiang had resolved to act out the dreamy
wishes of his little girl’s heart to the end. “This makes it feel more ceremonial…”
Hearing this, the others all crowded around. “Fireworks?”
Xie Yu retreated several paces and sat on a nearby step, watching them work out how to
light the fireworks.
He Zhao walked over and sat shoulder to shoulder with him.
After a while, Xie Yu heard He Zhao call him, “Xie Yu.”
He Zhao felt around in his pocket for a while, eventually coming up with something and
handing it to Xie Yu.
It was a letter.
By the faint light of the streetlamps, Xie Yu could barely make out several ostentatious
words: To my little friend.
Xie Yu held onto the edge of the envelope and was stunned for a second.
There wasn’t a long screed inside, only two lonely lines.
—Let’s go together. To somewhere even further away.
“After it’s lit, everybody back off quickly.”
“I’ll count. Three, two, one, light!”
“Wait. This firework doesn’t look quite right…”
A loud explosion swiftly followed.
Xie Yu was so blown away by the firecracker’s earth-shaking explosion that his ears hurt.
“……”
“What the fuck is this?!”
Liu Cunhao had been slow and was the last to back off, and he felt that even his butt had
taken a hard hit. “Wenqiang, explain this. This is a firework? You lied to us! This is a
firecracker!”
The explosion could have cracked apart the sky and the earth. The whole park seemed to
shake.
Before they could ‘clean up after themselves,’ the park superintendent came over, following
the sound. The bright light of his flashlight drew close and swept the area around the
wishing pool. “—Who’s there?! What are you doing?! Stop right there! Don’t run!”
Pandemonium erupted. Class 3 ran for their lives and as they ran they didn’t forget to offer
up their sincerest apologies. “We’re sorry!”
Repeating in Xie Yu’s mind was the line, ‘Somewhere even farther away.’
Before he could react, someone caught hold of his wrist. Then he heard He Zhao yell, “Old
Xie, run—”
The steps weren’t high. Out of habit, the two of them jumped straight down.
For a moment, there was nothing beneath their feet.
They welcomed the wind that rushed up to meet their faces, the pinpricks of starlight
above, and the lights that ran endlessly in both directions on the street, stretching into the
horizon.

(Main Story Complete)

This is the last chapter of Fake Slackers! Thank you for following Xie Yu and He Zhao
through this period of their high school life.
Jury says: Thank you for reading, and I hope you have enjoyed the story.
NomNom reminds everyone to stay safe and healthy!
Thank you also to Chaleuria for giving us the chance to translate this novel, and Lina Ngo
for the beautiful book cover and illustrations.
The Fake Slackers Vol. 1 ebook is available on Kindle and Google Books.
As Old Tang and Dean Jiang say: The future contain endless possibilities. With courage, go
on to even further places.