STUPID FANTASY LAWS, VOL.

2:

Credits:
Written And Edited By David Woodrum
Published By Top Fashion G ames
ww w.topfashiongames.com

CONTACT:
Ga m e L ab el:
Top Fashion Gam es
594 Stoney Battery Road
Marion, VA 24354

Auth or:
David (Dave) Woodrum
davewoodrum @com cast.net
Original Graphics:
David (Dave) Woodrum

Abo ut Th e Au thor:
Dave W oodrum h as worked in the role playing gam e industry for over seven years. Most of
his success, how ever, has been ov er the last two years w riting on various related p roducts.
Dave lives in th e Eastern part of the Un ited States.

Copyright Information:
The conten ts of this product are copyright 20 04, Top Fa shion G am es.

UNIVERSALLY COMPATIBLE:
This produ ct contains inform ation that is design ed to be un iversally comp atible with m ost
forms of paper an d dice, fantasy role playing gam es. Information regardin g coinag e, etc.
has been explained within the text of the product to allow ease of conversion.

2
EXPLORING THE MOST WONDROUSLY STUPID AND QUITE
CERTAINLY PERHAPS THE MOST OPPRESSIVE LAWS OF THE
LAND:
While murder, rape, exploitation, theft, and abuse are certainly novel selections for crimes
appropriately punished these infractions against society are rather… well, terribly bland and a bit
too straight to the point. So straight to the point, in fact, that any true, red blooded village
wracked with superstitious idealizations should have little to fear from the threat of such obvious
crimes. Real villages and communities need crimes rooted from pathetic inner fears. Real
villages need stupid, oppressive laws.
Based on both the superstitions of the past and the inactive laws still written on the books
throughout the real world comes Stupid Fantasy Laws, Volume 2. In this role playing product
you will find a dozen different laws that are based on the erratic judgment of rulers, the irrational
fears of villagers, oppressive social customs, and the unusual outcomes of very seldom occurring
situations. From the ban of individuals with six fingers or toes on their hands or feet to the
punishments of being caught wearing armor within the community limits unauthorized there are
a dozen laws in this volume of Stupid Fantasy Laws designed to cause local villagers and
adventuring characters alike a considerable amount of trouble, grief, and hardship. So much
trouble, grief, and hardship, in fact, that it is liable to keep the adventurers from wandering into a
nearby village or town for weeks to come.

THE SYSTEM:
The laws are presented in a manner that makes them truly universal with most role playing
products of a fantasy nature. For the most part actual game statistics are avoided. For fines where
a currency value is set, consult the below notes regarding the relative values of listed currency
amounts.

1copper= a small amount of money, equal in value to the purchase of a simple torch, a very small
loaf of bread, or the petty offering to a beggar.

1silver= a staple monetary sum, equal to a poor, unskilled laborer’s work for one day or a plain,
simple meal at a small inn. One silver coin is worth around ten copper coins.

1gold= a sum of money mostly used by skilled craftsmen, merchants, and aristocrats. One gold
coin is worth around ten silver coins.

In addition to monetary fines, various forms of punishment are also listed. This might range from
a day in the stocks to execution or exile. Also provided in the notes is a section called Probable
Cause. This area reflects upon a possible reason as to why the law might have been established. If
desired the game master should feel free to develop their own reasoning for the establishment of
such a law.

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THE LAWS:
Below are the dozen laws presented in Stupid Fantasy Laws, Volume 2.

Albino Rabbit Possession: No individual other than a noble, visiting

It is considered an offense for any individual knight, or authorized member of the guard
to knowingly or unknowingly be in the or governing body shall be caught in the
possession of a live white or albino rabbit. possession of a shield decorated with any
Punishment: Should an individual be found means of crest, logo, or design.
guilty of such a creature then the individual Punishment: Should an individual be found
shall be ordered a fine of 1 gold piece and guilty of carrying or in the possession of
receive no less than twenty lashings with a such a shield then the individual shall be
barbed ended cat o’ nine tails. The illicit fined an amount no less than 2 gold coins.
creature shall also be put to death. If the The shield shall also be confiscated from the
guilty individual has a white beard or individual and handed over to the authority
moustache then the facial hair of the of the governing state.
individual shall be shaven off and burnt at Probable Cause: This law was created to
the edge of the village. distract passing, deceptive adventurers and
Probable Cause: The superstitious believe opportunists from trying to appear to be
that individuals with albino or white rabbits members of a noble blood or governing,
in their possession are evil wizards using influential order.
these creatures as familiars to spy on the
good folk of the community or bring them Fly In Soup Law:
bad luck. Should a patron of an inn or tavern complain
about the presence of a fly or similar insect
Armor Restriction Law: in the patron’s soup, broth, stew, porridge,
It is considered an offense for any or gruel then the food item in question shall
unauthorized individual to be wearing any be immediately inspected by a member of
form of armor or carrying a shield within the the local authority. Should the insect be
boundaries of the community. determined to be the fault of the inn or
Punishment: Should an individual be found tavern then the patron shall be paid the
guilty of such a crime then the armor and/or purchase price of the food and allowed to eat
shield of the individual shall be immediately the remainder of the food, insect included,
confiscated and turned over to the governing for free. Should the patron be found guilty of
body of the state. The individual then shall placing such an insect in their own food as
be taken to the village square and flogged an attempt to gain a free meal then the
for no less than twenty lashings. patron shall be found guilty of criminal
Probable Cause: This law was devised to behavior and the below punishments shall
cut down on the entry of well armed, well apply.
equipped marauders. Punishment: Patrons found guilty of
applying flies or other insects into their food
Decorated Shield Law: in an effort to gain a free meal shall be
ordered to pay a fine equal to twice the

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amount of the tainted food purchased. Then It is considered an offense for any individual
the patron shall be taken outside by to attempt to imposter elven or half elven
members of the authority and flogged for no blood.
less than twenty times with a wooden or Punishment: Should an individual be found
bamboo cane. After such flogging the patron guilty of claiming to be of elven blood when
will be barred permanently from the inn or the individual does not have an elven or half
tavern where the tainting of the food elven bloodstock then the individual shall be
occurred. If the patron was staying at an inn fined an amount no less than 3 silver coins
and had personal possessions in their room and confined to up to three days in the
then the owner of the inn may retain the stocks.
right to keep such possessions as a means of Probable Cause: This law was most likely
payment for the trouble caused by the put into place to keep young gentlemen from
patron. trying to woo the ladies of the villages with
Probable Cause: The fly in soup law came false claims of elven blood.
about as a simple means of warding off
deadbeat stragglers from trying to take Missing Hand Law:
advantage of the services of inns and It is considered an offense for any individual
taverns. While the law is beneficial for the who is not already a citizen of the governed
most part it has been said that villages and community to enter the community if the
other communities adopting this law have individual has a missing hand.
witnessed a degree of potential abuse from Punishment: Should an individual be found
the fly in soup law. It seems that inn keepers guilty of such a crime then the individual
have begun to place insects in the food of shall be forced to pay a fine equal to 2 silver
wealthy patrons in hopes that the local coins and shall be immediately exiled from
authorities rule in the favor of the the community. Should the guilty individual
establishment. ever be caught again within the community’s
grounds then the guilty individual shall
Four Leaf Clover Ban: receive an additional 5 silver coin fine for
It is considered an offense for any individual each offense and also receive no less than
to be caught searching the meadows, hills, fifteen lashes with a whip before being
and countryside for four leaf clovers. exiled again.
Punishment: Should an individual be found Probable Cause: This is a rather erratic law
guilty of such a crime then the individual of nobles designed to prevent pirates,
shall be forced to spend a period of no less careless craftsmen, and begging ex-soldiers
than two days in the stocks. from entering the community.
Probable Cause: While there are natural
superstitious beliefs that surround this law
many authorities have imposed this law
simply as a means to steer lazy villagers
away from trying to rely on the forces of Orc Kissing Ban:
luck to provide for their needs. It is considered an offense for any individual
to be caught kissing an orc or an individual
Imposters Of Elven Blood: with known orcish blood.

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Punishment: Should an individual be found off by an official torturer in the center of the
guilty of willingly kissing an orc, half orc, or public square. After which the individual
individual known to have orcish blood in will be forced to spend three days in the
their immediate or distant family line shall stocks and fined an amount equal to 5 silver
be subject to receiving twenty floggings with coins per digit removed.
a whip. After which any and all live pigs Probable Cause: It is widely believed by
within the community or surrounding the superstitious that having such extra
countryside shall be herded up and brought digits marked an individual as being of evil
to the village fairgrounds. There the guilty bloodline.
party shall be forced to kiss each one of
these swine while beaten, taunted, and Star Gazing Ban:
insulted by a coerced, jeering crowd of It is considered unlawful for one to gaze up
fellow villagers. at the stars at night.
Probable Cause: A law with a fairly simple Punishment: Should a common,
cause, the orc kssing ban was created to unauthorized individual be caught violating
ward villagers from assisting in the spread of this law then the individual shall be blind
orcish and half orcish bloodlines. folded and forced to stumble through the
streets for two nights as an authorized
Red Weapon Law: torturer encourages members of the local
Any form of object that may be considered a community to whack the guilty individual
weapon by the common knowledge of the with wooden sticks.
community must be marked with either Authorized individuals, such as
bright red paint or tied with a brilliant red cartographers or navigators on governed
ribbon. ships, are allowed to look towards the
Punishment: Should an individual be found evening stars.
guilty of not properly marking a weapon Probable Cause: One of the many
suitable object and having such an object in superstitious based laws presented in this
their possession then the weapon worthy guide, star gazing bans come from the belief
item shall be confiscated from the that anyone who is a “common folk” and
individual. The individual shall also be fined looks to the stars at night is a gypsy or witch.
an amount no less than 3 silver coins and
forced to spend two days of imprisonment. Warts On Nose Law:
Probable Cause: As with the armor It is considered unlawful for anyone to have
restriction law, this law was devised to cut a wart on their nose, especially for a woman.
down on the entry of well armed, well Punishment: Should an individual, young
equipped marauders. or old, be found with a wart on their nose
then the guilty individual shall be led to the
Six Finger/Toe Ban: center of the village for torture and public
No individual having a sixth finger or toe on humiliation. During this time the individual
any hand or foot shall be allowed to enter shall be pelted with pieces of rotten fruit and
the community.
Punishment: Should an individual violating
the above law be caught then the individual
shall have any extra (or sixth) digits caught

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vegetables by the fellow villagers as an
assigned torturer flogs the guilty individual
no less than twenty times before cutting off
the individual’s wart with a scalding, heated
blade. After which the individual shall be
led to the edge of the village and
permanently exiled. The individual will not
be allowed to pack up their possessions nor
will they be given time to say goodbye to
their family. Should the individual try to
return to the community then the guilty
individual shall be flogged fifty times with a
barbed whip and then burnt at the stake in
the center square.
Probable Cause: The warts on nose law is
an extreme practice of superstition fueled
legal code. Believing that such warts are a
sign of a witch, superstitious folk have
invented the use of this law as a means of
“purifying” their village from the influence
of evil.

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 REGISTERED LAWS OF THE LAND
FOR THE GOVERNING BODY OF:

All Citizens Of This Governing Body Shall Be Enforced Most Severly Into Obeying The
Following Laws And Regulations:

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