ENGLISH PROJECT

SMALL TALK

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

We dedicate our sincere thanks to Ms.Bharati who has

been a great pillar of support and motivation in the
successful completion of this project. With the help of
a few articles found on the web along with our
teachers notes we have made this project successful.
Introduction
 Communication start with the art of conversation. Carrying on a simple
conversation isn't hard, but being interesting, conveying your personality and
humor are skills some people seem to master easily where others stumble.

In most English-speaking countries, it is normal and necessary to make "small talk"

in certain situations. Small talk is a casual form of conversation that "breaks the ice"
or fills an awkward silence between people. Even though you may feel shy using
your second language, it is sometimes considered rude to say nothing. Just as there
are certain times when small talk is appropriate, there are also certain topics that
people often discuss during these moments.

Small talk isn't completely frivolous. Simple chatting is a way to express your
personality and interests in an indirect fashion. Quick conversations can reveal
much about your attitudes, personality type and worldview.

The real skill of conversation is knowing how to convey your personality the way you
want. This doesn't mean deception or putting up a false image of yourself, simply it
means knowing how to cut through the irrelevant and allow people to relate to you.

Likable people have developed a natural talent of conveying their personality in a

way that is non-threatening and easy to relate to.

 Show, don't tell. Nobody likes a braggart. Humble confidence in your talents and
also your weaknesses will do more to show people who you are than boasting.
 Find similarities. Total agreement isn't necessary, but look for similarities between
yourself and the other person. You might disagree with a coworkers political
views, but perhaps you both have kids the same age.
 Show vulnerabilities, but don't be a wuss. Showing a few weaknesses of yours in
a confident tone can make you seem more human and relatable. These small
admissions are the foundations of trust. But if you appear to look for pity or
complain about your problems the negativity will turn others off.

The First Impression

Don't be too concerned with making a fantastic first impression. Worrying endlessly
about your introduction to the conversation can make you seem false or try-hard.
Realize that relationships grow, and although the other person may form initial
impressions, it is difficult to manipulate those impulsive judgements.

The best conversation starters are the most natural. Just a simple hello can be more
effective than trying to appear funny and charismatic in the first few minutes. If you
want to make a good impression, here are some tips:

 Be well-groomed. Don't look like you've been living in the subway for six months.
Decent clothes that reflect your personality with a shower and shave are good
enough for most.
 Start casual. The first five minutes aren't a time for your life story. Keeping things
light and casual are a good place to start when talking.
 Be friendly - all the time. You can't force friendliness and extroversion. Instead
aim to be sociable and friendly with everyone. This way when you need to meet
that high powered executive or chat up the hot stranger across the room, it will
feel normal.

Know the Tone

Whoever says you should never censor yourself must be a jerk. You wouldn't crack
jokes at a funeral or cry at a party. Every social context has it's own guidelines for
what is acceptable behavior.

You shouldn't follow social rules as if they were written in stone. Learn to experiment
and don't be afraid for occasional embarrassment. But those who are masters at
small talk and making friends understand most of the guidelines for what is
acceptable. Understanding the tone is a mixture of observation and experimentation.

Humor
A few paragraphs can't possibly do the topic of humor justice, but laughter is one of
the best ingredients to a successful interaction. Most humor falls into one of these
major patterns:

 Surprise - The unexpected can be funny. Good punch-lines put a twist in the joke
that creates a laugh.
 Exaggeration - Stories or examples moved beyond reality can add humor.
 Sarcasm - Can be irritating if it is too negative or aimed at others expense. But
sarcasm can often be a form of wit, used in the opposite direction of
exaggeration.
 Context - Some actions are humorous just because of the context. The right
mood can be useful for humor and other times it can seem out of place.


Stories
Storytelling is one of the most critical aspects for effective small talk. There are
several key points to remember to tell good stories:

 Know the ending. Everyone hates a botched punch line. Know how you want to
end the story so it ends with impact rather than a sloppy conclusion.
 Start with a hook. Lead into your story with a question or comment that draws
attention. "That reminds me of the time..." is a good lead-in, preparing the other
people to hear a story.
 Keep it short. Don't waste time explaining the background of a story if it isn't
important. Cut away the excess until you have a small set of events. You will hold
attention far longer that way.
 Be visual. Describe the story emotionally and visually. Don't say, "the room was
crowded," when you can say, "you couldn't even fall over the crowd was so tight."
Relating stories in the first person and using short but vivid descriptions will hold
attention longer than a list of facts.
 Keep a roadmap. Practice your story and know what parts draw attention. I have
dozens of stories I tell repeatedly and I've learned to emphasize the parts people
like best and skim over less entertaining background.
 Keep it personal. Avoid stories that don't involve you. Secondhand stories will
make you less interesting because they say nothing about your personality.
 Engage. Don't just flap your jaw the entire conversation. Listen to others story
and actively listen and ask questions. They will appreciate your interest and you
can help them point out details to make it more interesting. Offering open-ended
questions like, "What were your experiences?" can open others up to share their
own stories.

Icebreaker

General
 Open-ended questions
 Tell me about your...
 How did you...
 Ask about difficulty
 What is the most difficult part of your job?
 What is the strangest client you have ever met?
 Follow-up questions
 Why?
 How did it happen?
 What happened there?
 Listen first - talk second
 The best rule for good interpersonal communication is to allow your
companion to speak first, to listen to what they say and then respond.
Repeating phrases and buzz words back to the person reinforces the fact that
you have listened and understood. Note: listening and understanding is not
the same as agreeing.
 Don't be anxious about changing subjects.
 Don't worry about the natural change in subjects as the conversation
progresses. If you were talking about something, but now are talking about
something else, you are at an advantage. This is because if the conversation
 stalls out for any reason, you can always go back to what you were talking
about before the change in subject.


Business
 What do you enjoy about your profession?
 How did you start in this profession?
 What is the most difficult part of your job?

Social
 What sort of movie do you like?
 Tell me about your family.
 What's your favorite restaurant?
 What's the best vacation you've ever had?

Small Talk: Who, What, Where, When,

Why?
WHO makes small talk?

People with many different relationships use small talk. The most common type of
people to use small talk are those who do not know each other at all. Though we often
teach children not to talk to strangers, adults are expected to say at least a few words in
certain situations (see where). It is also common for people who are only
acquaintances, often called a "friend of a friend", to use small talk. Other people who
have short casual conversations are office employees who may not be good friends but
work in the same department. Customer service representatives, waitresses,
hairdressers and receptionists often make small talk with customers. If you happen to
be outside when the mailman comes to your door you might make small talk with him
too.

WHAT do people make small talk about?

There are certain "safe" topics that people usually make small talk about. The weather
is probably the number one thing that people who do not know each other well discuss.
Sometimes even friends and family members discuss the weather when they meet or
start a conversation. Another topic that is generally safe is current events. As long as
you are not discussing a controversial issue, such as a recent law concerning equal
rights, it is usually safe to discuss the news. Sports news is a very common topic,
especially if a local team or player is in a tournament or play-off or doing extremely well
or badly. Entertainment news, such as a celebrity who is in town, is another good topic.
If there is something that you and the other speaker has in common, that may also be
acceptable to talk about. For example, if the bus is extremely full and there are no seats
available you might talk about reasons why. Similarly, people in an office might casually
discuss the new paint or furniture. There are also some subjects that are not
considered acceptable when making small talk. Discussing personal information such
as salaries or a recent divorce is not done between people who do not know each other
well. Compliments on clothing or hair are acceptable; however, you should never say
something (good or bad) about a person's body. Negative comments about another
person not involved in the conversation are also not acceptable: when you do not know
a person well you cannot be sure who their friends are. You do not talk about private
issues either, because you do not know if you can trust the other person with your
secrets or personal information. Also, it is not safe to discuss subjects that society
deems controversial such as religion or politics. Lastly, it is not wise to continue talking
about an issue that the other person does not seem comfortable with or interested in.

WHERE do people make small talk?

People make small talk just about anywhere, but there are certain places where it is
very common. Most often, small talk occurs in places where people are waiting for
something. For example, you might chat with another person who is waiting for the bus
to arrive, or to the person beside you waiting to get on an aeroplane. People also make
small talk in a doctor's or dentist's waiting room, or in queues at the grocery store. At the
office, people make small talk in elevators or lunchrooms and even in restrooms,
especially if there is a line-up. Some social events (such as a party) require small talk
among guests who do not know each other very well. For example, you might talk to
someone you do not know at the punch bowl, or at the poolside. It is called "mingling"
when people walk around in a social setting and talk to a variety of people.

WHEN do people make small talk?

The most common time for small talk to occur is the first time you see or meet someone
on a given day. For example, if you see a co-worker in the lounge you might say hello
and discuss the sports or weather. However, the next time you see each other you
might just smile and say nothing. If there is very little noise, that might be an indication
that it is the right time to initiate a casual conversation. You should only spark up a
conversation after someone smiles and acknowledges you. Do not interrupt two people
in order to discuss something unimportant such as the weather. If someone is reading a
book or writing a letter at the bus stop it is not appropriate to initiate a conversation
either. Another good time to make small talk is during a break in a meeting or
presentation when there is nothing important going on. Finally, it is important to
recognize the cue when the other person wants the conversation to stop.

WHY do people make small talk?

There are a few different reasons why people use small talk. The first, and most
obvious, is to break an uncomfortable silence. Another reason, however, is simply to fill
time. That is why it is so common to make small talk when you are waiting for
something. Some people make small talk in order to be polite. You may not feel like
chatting with anyone at a party, but it is rude to just sit in a corner by yourself. After
someone introduces you to another person, you do not know anything about them, so in
order to show a polite interest in getting to know them better, you have to start with
some small talk.

How to Make Small Talk

Small talk can be a big challenge, but a little preparation and confidence is all you need.
As a skilled small talker you will come across as a more open and friendly person,
compared to someone who doesn't say much during social situations. Just don't overdo
it because then people will find you annoying and too chatty.

Step 1:
Practice. Converse with everyone you come across: cashiers, waiters, people you're in
line with, neighbors, co-workers and kids. Chat with folks unlike yourself, from seniors to
teens to tourists.

Step 2:
Read everything: cookbooks, newspapers, magazines, reviews, product inserts, maps,
signs and catalogs. Everything is a source of information that can be discussed.

Step 3:
Force yourself to get into small talk situations, like doctors' waiting rooms, cocktail
parties and office meetings. Accept invitations, or host your own gathering.

Step 4:
Immerse yourself in culture, both high and low. Television, music, sports, fashion, art
and poetry are great sources of chat. If you can't stand Shakespeare, that too is a good
topic for talk.

Step 5:
Keep a journal. Write down funny stories you hear, beautiful things you see, quotes,
observations, shopping lists and calls you made. That story of the long-distance
operator misunderstanding you could become an opening line.

Step 6:
Talk to yourself in the mirror. Make a random list of topics and see what you have to say
on the subjects. Baseball, Russia, butter, hip-hop, shoes ...the more varied your list, the
better.

Step 7:
Expand your horizons. Go home a new way. Try sushi. Play pinball. Go online. Paint a
watercolor. Bake a pie. Try something new every day.

Step 8:
Be a better listener. Did your boss just say she suffers from migraines? Did your doctor
just have twins? These are opportunities for making small talk.

Step 9:
Work on confidence, overcoming shyness and any feelings of stage fright. Remember,
the more you know, the more you know you can talk about.
CONCLUSION

Tips & Warnings

• Be yourself. Keep in mind that confidence and humor are superb substitutes for
comedic genius or wit.
• Remember, you never have to do it alone.
• Keep a few exit lines in mind too. For example, "Thanks for the wonderful chat,
but I must make believe I'm interested in everybody else. Tee hee."
• Keep your fellow chatterers in mind; naughty stories and loose language will be
frowned upon in many circles. By the same token, your French quips and
scientific discourses will be wasted on some.

BIBLIOGRAPHY
1.Dummy’s Guide To Neurolinguistics
2.E-learning.com
3. Communication Skills by A.Rizvi