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Creating a Strong Family

Why Are Families So Important?
John DeFrain, Extension Specialist, Family and Community Development; Gail Brand, Extension Educator;
Jeanette Friesen, Extension Educator; Dianne Swanson, Extension Educator

tions, including schools and colleges, religious institutions,

This is one in a series of NebGuides by UNL Exten- volunteer groups, and family service organizations such as
sion Family Life specialists and educators who explore extension.
the attributes and experiences of strong families. Involving fathers in the day-to-day life of families is
crucial. Moms shouldn’t have to carry all the burdens of
The late David R. Mace, a pioneer in the field of marriage childrearing alone. And dads should not have to miss all
and family enrichment, was fond of saying, “Nothing in the the wonderful feelings a parent experiences watching one’s
world could make human life happier than to greatly increase children grow and learn.
the number of strong families.” Of course, countless single-parent families are strong and
We agree with him, and for that reason applaud the work emotionally healthy. Besides, in many cases involving violence,
being done in many communities to strengthen and support sexual abuse, alcohol, or other drug abuse, it may be best that
families. Families, in all the diverse patterns, sizes, creeds, a parent with any of those problems or behaviors be out of
and colors they come in, are, indeed, the heart and soul of the picture for the rest of the family’s personal well-being
human society. and safety. But in most cases, it is important for communities
Marriage and family are perhaps society’s oldest and to find creative ways to strengthen and support two-parent
most resilient institutions. From the beginning of human families and make it possible for fathers to enjoy the benefits
life, people have grouped themselves into families to find of increased time and involvement with their children.
emotional, physical, and communal support. Although social Sometimes marriages get lost in all the hubbub surround-
commentators often have predicted the demise of both mar- ing modern life. We attend to our children’s needs. We make
riage and the family, families not only survive but continue the boss happy at work. But we often let our own personal
to change and evolve. Family structures may vary around the health and well-being slide, and we borrow time and energy
world, and yet, the value of our family endures. from our marriage to satisfy other demands in our world. The
Families are the basic, foundational social units in all hu- problem with this is that a healthy marriage is at the heart of
man communities around the world, and healthy individuals a healthy two-parent family. We are reminded of the saying,
within healthy families are at the core of a healthy society. “The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their
It’s in everyone’s best interest, then, to help create a positive mother.” And vice versa. Since the marriage is the foundation
environment for all families. This can be a labor of love for all for the family, the needs of the relationship have to be care-
of our social institutions: educational institutions, businesses, fully nurtured. This doesn’t always come easily in a family.
human and family service agencies, religious institutions, Sometimes it takes thought, planning, and effort on the part
health organizations — literally everyone involved in the of both adults to keep the marriage in the forefront.
daily life of a community. Life in families can bring us great joy or excruciating pain,
Families are our most intimate social environment. They depending upon how well family relationships are going. A
are the places where we begin the vital processes of social- healthy marriage and family can be a valuable resource for
izing our children, and teaching them — in partnership with helping us endure the difficulties that life inevitably brings.
countless others in the community — how to survive and Unhealthy or dysfunctional relationships can create terrible
thrive in the world. problems that may persist from one generation to the next.
Many marriages are experiencing difficulties, and part of Individuals and families successful in marriage and
the challenge in building family-friendly communities is to relationships will strengthen community vitality and future
also build marriage-friendly communities. A good way to do generations. By working together in our communities, we
this is to develop couples enrichment courses and activities. demonstrate the importance of families to the well-being of the
This can be done through teamwork among various institu- total community, and we contribute to the happiness of all.
 How can communities support families? Don’t allow organized or school sports, or any other
activity, to dictate your family’s life. The family needs to be
• Respect family time. respected and honored.
• Youth should be allowed, not expected, to participate
in sports and other activities. Reference
• Encourage caring adults within the community to take
an interest in a child’s life. Doherty, W.J., (2000). Take back your kids: Confident parenting
• Provide flex-time at work so parents can participate in in turbulent times. Notre Dame, IN; Sorin Books.
their children’s activities.
• Offer a wide range of learning opportunities to assist
individuals and families in facing issues throughout
the life cycle. This publication has been peer reviewed.
• Create a community atmosphere in which attending
enrichment classes for individuals, couples, and parents
is considered an acceptable and valued norm. UNL Extension publications are available online
Strong families alone can’t do it; it really does take a at http://extension.unl.edu/publications.
community to raise a child.

Index: Families
Family Life
Issued September 2008

Extension is a Division of the Institute of Agriculture and Natural Resources at the University of Nebraska–Lincoln
cooperating with the Counties and the United States Department of Agriculture.
University of Nebraska–Lincoln Extension educational programs abide with the nondiscrimination policies
of the University of Nebraska–Lincoln and the United States Department of Agriculture.
© 2008, The Board of Regents of the University of Nebraska on behalf of the University of Nebraska–Lincoln Extension. All rights reserved.