BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

A pantomime by Ben Crocker

Copyright Ben Crocker

Revised December 2018

Please Note:

This pantomime is fully protected under international copyright laws. All rights,
including performance in whole or in part, video recording and translation are
strictly reserved. This work must not be performed until a Licence has been
obtained from Ben Crocker Pantomimes Ltd, and the appropriate royalty paid.

The availability of this script does not imply that permission is automatically
available for public or private performance. In their own interests, all
producing groups are advised to obtain a Licence prior to starting production.
PRESS REACTION

“Around me, a primary schools matinee went

happily nuts for what is just a perfect, proper
panto.” Libby Purves, The Times

“This Beast is a real beauty… One of the

most rejuvenatingly good-natured pantos
anywhere in the country.” Dominic
Cavendish, The Daily Telegraph

“What really sets this pantomime apart is the

quality of Ben Crocker’s script… Make no
mistake; any theatre in the land would be
proud to stage this top quality show.” Oxford
Times

“Wittily written by Ben Crocker…What an

absolute joy it was – a good wholesome
traditional show that was simply great fun for
all the family.” British Theatre Guide

“Writer Ben Crocker has done a great job in

creating a pacy, well-told panto that delights
the audience, young and old. The show,
including interval, flashes by like one of those
high speed TGVs so beloved by the French.”
Cotswold Journal

“Beauty and the Beast has something for

everyone – it is touching, scary, funny,
engaging and an awful lot of fun. If fact, the
only thing the Theatre has cause to worry
over is quite how it will match this next year!”
Banbury Guardian

1
CHARACTERS

FELIX (A giant French Poodle. He speaks with a

French accent and is a very human sort of poodle.
Ideally, his costume should make him human with
just a hint of dog.)

JACQUES (Beauty’s brother)

CAPUCINE (In love with Jacques)

MALABELLE (A wicked witch)

MA (The Dame. Beauty and Jacques’ mum)

BEAUTY (Also known as Rose)

PRINCE/BEAST

TALKING CLOCK

AIMEE (A castle servant)

REMY (A castle servant)

2 ROYAL PAGES }
}
TABLE }
}
LAMP } Small speaking parts
}
CHEST OF DRAWERS }
}
RUG }

CHORUS as Villagers, Wolves, Bears, Castle

Servants, Ghosts etc.

SONGS

Songs are left to the choice of the individual

producer.

2
 LIST OF SCENES

PART 1.

SCENE 1. Market Day

SCENE 2. Ma’s Cottage

SCENE 3. Outside and Inside the Beast’s Castle

SCENE 4. Back at Ma’s Cottage

PART 2.

SCENE 5. The Beast’s Castle

SCENE 6. Outside Ma’s Cottage

SCENE7. Beauty’s Bedroom

SCENE 8. The Forest

SCENE 9. The Hall of Mirrors

SCENE 10. A Triple Wedding

This is a comparatively simple panto to stage, with many of the settings

at the Castle requiring very little change. Please see detailed notes at
the back.

3
 PART ONE. SCENE 1.

Market Day

Full set. Cheerful village setting, with market stalls and

bunting etc.

NUMBER. CHORUS as VILLAGERS, STALL HOLDERS and

STREET SELLERS, together with FELIX. (BEAUTY,
CAPUCINE and JACQUES can also be involved in this
number, if desired.)

Maybe the song starts with one lone voice and builds. It’s
sunny, the mood is happy. By the end, FELIX is centre, with
the CHORUS around him.

FELIX. Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls - welcome to France -

and to our thrilling, spectacular and lovely show all about ME –
Felix!

CHORUS 1. What about me?

CHORUS 2. Or me?

CHORUS 3. Or me?!!

FELIX. OK, OK, there’s a bit about a girl called Beauty and some beast
she meets. Anyway, back to me –

CHORUS 4 (starting to exit) Bye, Felix!

CHORUS 5. (exiting) See you later.

CHORUS 6. (exiting) We’ll leave you to get on with it.

FELIX. Hang on a moment –

ALL. Byee!

(The CHORUS exit laughing.)

FELIX. They’ve gone! Never mind - where was I? Oh, yes. Me! A
handsome, single and non-smoking French poodle – and as well
as being brave, loyal and incredibly good looking, we giant
poodles are brilliant story tellers, so let me set the scene for
you…

Once upon a time, I used to be a rich man’s dog, but since my

old master died we’ve come down in the world. We’ve left the
big town house and moved to a little cottage in the country and

4
 there I live with Ma and her two children - this girl I was telling
you about, called Beauty and her brother Jacques - and that’s it
really. The only trouble is that Jacques keeps trying to train me –

JACQUES. (calling off) Felix!

FELIX. You see, that’s him now.

JACQUES. (off) Felix!

FELIX. I walk, talk and read the paper – I don’t need to learn how to sit!

JACQUES. (off) Felix, where are you?

FELIX. I’ll have to hide! (He hides behind his paper. He remains
completely visible.)

JACQUES. (off) Ah, there you are, Felix!

FELIX. (aside) I’ve hid.

JACQUES. (enters, carrying a large book with the title ‘TRAINING FOR
DOGS’) Felix. … Felix, I can see you.

FELIX. (aside) He’s bluffing.

JACQUES. Felix, come to me, Felix.

FELIX. (peeking from paper) I know you’re bluffing.

JACQUES. But I can see you, Felix.

FELIX. (raising paper) I can’t see you.

JACQUES. Felix, I’m going to have to be strict.

FELIX. Don’t be ridiculous.

JACQUES. But the Prince is coming to the village today and Ma’s told me to
train you up and make sure you behave yourself.

FELIX. But I can read - that’s a well-trained poodle!

JACQUES. OK, the reading’s good - but can you ignore a tree?

FELIX. What boy can ignore a tree!?

JACQUES. But you’re not a boy, Felix. You’re a dog!

FELIX. Is that all I am to you?

5
JACQUES. (pointing) Look, Felix, I’m going to go over there -

FELIX. A dumb, defenceless -

JACQUES. You’re not dumb!

FELIX. (covering his ears) I’m not listening!

JACQUES. (crossing) I’m going to go over here - and I want you to come to
me and sit.

FELIX. (covers his ears, shuts his eyes, runs on the spot and
screams) Aaaaaah!

JACQUES. Felix, come here!

FELIX. I know my rights and I need help. (to AUDIENCE) Will you help
me? (Response.) I said, will you help me? (Response.)
Brilliant! Cos I need a big voice to help me out when humans are
horrible to me – so when I go like this, (Covers his ears, shuts
his eyes and runs on the spot and screams Aaaaah!”) can
you just shout “Poodle power!” as loud as you can? OK? I go
“Aaaaah!” you go “Poodle power!”

JACQUES. But I’m not being –

FELIX. (covers his ears, shuts his eyes and runs on the spot)
Aaaaah! (AUDIENCE shout.) Thank you! That is so
empowering!

JACQUES. Felix, I said I’m not being -

FELIX. (covers his ears, shuts his eyes and runs on the spot)
Aaaaah! (AUDIENCE shout.) Fantastic!

JACQUES. Felix!

FELIX. (covers his ears, shuts his eyes and runs on the spot)
Aaaaah! (AUDIENCE shout.) Thank you so very much! You’ve
struck a great blow for poodle rights here today.

(CAPUCINE enters. Both JACQUES and FELIX seem to fall

instantly in love with her.)

CAPUCINE. Hello.

JACQUES. (shyly) Oh, er, hello.

CAPUCINE. I just wondered what all the noise was about.

6
JACQUES. Er…

CAPUCINE. (seeing the book) Dog training?

JACQUES. Well, trying at any rate.

CAPUCINE. And succeeding, I should say. What a lovely dog.

FELIX. Thank you so much! I just want to say that you are lovely too. As
lovely, as lovely, as lovely!

CAPUCINE. (taken aback) Thank you.

FELIX. Stroke my nose, rub my ears, tickle my tummy! (Lies on the

ground kicking legs in the air.)

JACQUES. Felix!

CAPUCINE. (rubbing his tummy) That’s OK. I like dogs.

FELIX. (lunging up to hug CAPUCINE) And I like girls!

CAPUCINE. (avoiding FELIX’S lunge and speaking to JACQUES) My

name’s Capucine. What’s yours?

FELIX. (interrupting) My name’s Felix! Rub that bit there. Pleeease!

Just that bit there.

(CAPUCINE does so. JACQUES tries to join in and rubs

FELIX’S tummy.)

FELIX. (smacking JACQUES’ hand) Not you!

JACQUES. Felix! (To CAPUCINE) Jacques. My name’s Jacques.

CAPUCINE. (to FELIX) There. That’s enough. (Goes to JACQUES.)

FELIX. Oh.

CAPUCINE. I’ve been meaning to say hello, you’re new to the village aren’t
you?

JACQUES. Yes, I suppose we are.

CAPUCINE. I live here alone.

JACQUES &
FELIX. All alone?

7
CAPUCINE. It happens, I’m afraid. My father was the blacksmith. Maybe one
day people will live longer; but he left the forge to me – and so
now I’m the blacksmith.

JACQUES. That’s an unusual –

CAPUCINE. Job for a girl? Fortunately, I fit the job description. I’m
enormously strong. Well, it was lovely to meet you. (Holds out
hand to shake.)

JACQUES. Yes, it was.

(They shake hands. CAPUCINE applies no apparent effort,

but JACQUES is bent double by her vice like grip.)

CAPUCINE. Oh, sorry. Did I hurt you? I’m always doing that.

JACQUES. No, no, not at all, it was nothing.

FELIX. Do it to me. Do it to me. I want to feel it! (They shake hands.)

Yeeow! That is so painful! Do it again!

JACQUES. Look, Felix, I don’t think –

FELIX. (shaking hands) Yeeow! Again, again!

JACQUES. I’m sorry about this.

FELIX. Strong women are so attractive! I’m warm, intelligent and I love
long walks in the country. Could you be the one for me?

CAPUCINE. But you’re a dog!

FELIX. I’m open minded!

JACQUES. Felix, come here -

FELIX. (ignoring JACQUES) And animals too, I love animals and I –

JACQUES. Felix, come here to me!

FELIX. Enjoy reading in my spare time – (To JACQUES) what did you
say?

JACQUES. I said - Felix, come here to me!

FELIX. (to AUDIENCE) You know what to do?

JACQUES. Felix, come here immediately!

8
FELIX. Aaaah! (Covers his ears, shuts his eyes and runs on the
spot and screams “Aaaah!”. AUDIENCE shout.) Thank you!

CAPUCINE. Did you do that?

FELIX. Yes, I did!

CAPUCINE. Bad dog!

FELIX. What?

CAPUCINE. Bad dog! Sit!

(FELIX immediately sits. Deeply contrite.)

Say sorry to Jacques.

FELIX. Sorry Jacques.

CAPUCINE. Good boy. (To JACQUES) You live here with your family?

JACQUES. Er, yes.

CAPUCINE. Would I like to meet them?

JACQUES. (pleasantly surprised) Gosh. Would you?

CAPUCINE. Yes, I’d like that very much.

JACQUES. Right. Brilliant!

CAPUCINE. Let’s go and find them.

JACQUES. Mum’s got a horse. Maybe it’ll need-

CAPUCINE. Some horse shoes?

JACQUES. Yes, horse shoes.

(They have reached the side of the stage and are about to
exit.)

CAPUCINE. Come along, Felix, you needn’t sit there all day.

FELIX. (bounding up and following after them) I need shoes. Can I

have some shoes? I need some dog shoes!

(PYRO. MALABELLE enters.)

MALAB. A puff of smoke and a hint of Chanel,

9
 It’s me, lovely me, it’s me Malabelle!
There’s plain and there’s fair and then there is me,
The most gorgeous witch that ever could be!
In spite of my looks, I’m thoroughly bad,
But I want the prince and it’s driving me mad!
Ooooh! I’ve got goose pimples all over. They say he’s coming
here today. Have any of you seen him yet? No? I’ve seen his
picture; he’s had a new one painted, because he likes pictures -
and he’s gorgeous! So, do you know what? I’ve decided to
marry him. I want him for me - moi, just moi – and if I can’t have
him then he’ll wish he’d never been born! I’ll kill him! That’s how
much I love him! Not that he won’t fall head over heels in love
with me, of course. After all, I am the most beautiful woman in
the whole of France – maybe even the world - and don’t any of
you dare disagree with me! Taisez vous! If you’ll pardon my
French.

(MA is heard singing off.)

MALAB. Someone’s coming! I’ll take my delectable, radiant self off over
ici and wait for the Prince! But don’t think this is goodbye, it’s
just au revoir!

(MALABELLE makes a dramatic exit. MA enters.)

MA. Hello, everybody! How lovely to see you all – welcome to the
other side of the water! How are you, alright? (AUDIENCE
response.) Oh, dear, you can do better than that! I said how are
you, alright? (AUDIENCE response.) That’s better; I thought
maybe I was talking in French. Now, allow me to introduce
myself. I’m Madame Manon de Pamplemousse. A bit of a
mouthful isn’t it. “Man-non”, have you heard that name? In
English it means “not a man”, but you can call me Ma, ’cos
everybody else does – and I live here with my two children,
Jacques and Beauty…Well, we call her Beauty, her real name’s
actually Rose, but somehow she’s always just been – a Beauty!
I don’t know where she got it from though. Not from my late
husband, poor old Pamplemousse. Oh, he was an ugly man. He
had a face like a squashed sausage! When he peeled an onion
– it cried! But I’m afraid he left us recently for that great counting
house in the sky and although they say you can’t take it with you
– somehow he did, so now we’re very poor. Aah… We’re poorer
than that… (AUDIENCE response.) We’re not that poor!
Anyway, the village suits us - it’s not as posh as (Ideally,
frenchify a local well to do town or area - e.g. “Stow-sur-le-
Wold”, “Ludlow-sur-la-Teme” or “Le Wirral”.) but it’s home –
and talking of home, look who’s coming – it’s Beauty. Come on
out here and say hello to all these people.

(BEAUTY enters.)

10
 Isn’t she lovely? Give them a twirl.

BEAUTY. Ma!

MA. What?

BEAUTY. I’m not a fashion model!

MA. No, dear quite right, but you are my adorable, lovely, beautiful
Beauty –

BEAUTY. Ma, my name is Rose –

MA. I’m only teasing, you can make yourself useful and help me with
some special messages I’ve just been to pick up, now let’s
see… (Ad lib greetings and birthdays etc.) And of course we
must mention our lovely band, so we’ve got… (Introduces
band.) Do you know what?

BEAUTY. Are they playing especially for us?

MA. I think they are.

(Mother/Daughter duet. Short, light hearted NUMBER, at the

end of which, MA exits.)

BEAUTY. Well, that’s Ma gone for a while and I seem to have lost sight of
Jacques and Felix as well. I wonder how they’re getting on? I
can’t see Felix taking to the new dog training at all.

(MUSIC. Two Royal Pages (CHORUS) enter.)

PAGE 1. Make way for his Royal Highness, the Prince!

PAGE 2. Make way, make way -

PRINCE. (entering) Alright, alright, don’t make such a fuss, there’s no

one here… (Sees BEAUTY. MUSIC sting.) Except -

BEAUTY, Oh my goodness –

PRINCE. Hello.

BEAUTY. Hello.

PAGE 2. Silence, in front of the Prince!

PRINCE. Will you shut up! (To BEAUTY) I’m Prince Christophe –

11
BEAUTY. Yes, I know you are!

PRINCE. Really? That doesn’t seem fair.

BEAUTY. Why not?

PRINCE. I don’t know who you are.

BEAUTY. Don’t you?

PRINCE. Well, no.

BEAUTY. (flustered) No, of course you don’t. How silly of me.

PRINCE. So…?

BEAUTY. You want to know my name?

PRINCE. Yes, of course -

BEAUTY. Beauty.

PRINCE. Beauty?

BEAUTY. No, that’s not it!

PRINCE. What?

BEAUTY. That’s not my name.

PRINCE. No?

BEAUTY. No, it’s Rose. Beauty’s just a silly nickname, really.

PRINCE. I see. More a description.

BEAUTY. Yes - I mean no! I mean… Oh, I wish people would just call me
Rose! Will you excuse me?

PRINCE. Why?

BEAUTY. No one knows you’ve arrived - I’d better go and get some –
populace or something! (Exits quickly.)

PRINCE. (to PAGES) Quick! After her. See where she goes!

PAGE 1. Yes, sir!

PAGE 2. At the double, sir!

12
 (PAGES run out after BEAUTY.)

PRINCE. (looking after them) What a very beautiful girl – just like a
picture I’ve always imagined.

MALAB. (entering) I beg your pardon? Did you say that plain little girl
was beautiful?

PRINCE. Yes.

MALAB. Like a picture, you’ve always imagined?!

PRINCE. I’m sorry, I don’t know –

MALAB. Who was she?

PRINCE. I beg your pardon?

MALAB. What about me?

PRINCE. Who are you?

MALAB. Malabelle! The most beautiful witch in the whole world. Don’t
you think I’m beautiful? I am beautiful. Tell me I’m beautiful!

PRINCE. Look, I don’t know you.

MALAB. You’re just playing hard to get.

PRINCE. I’m not playing anything.

MALAB. Tetes-toi! Do you love me?

PRINCE. This has gone on long enough!

MALAB. But I love you! Don’t you realise we were made for each other?

PRINCE. No, I don’t.

MALAB. Have you got a secret birthmark in the shape of a rose just
above your third rib?

PRINCE. No!

MALAB. Neither have I! There! That proves it.

You might think that I’m a stalker
But I tell you I’m a corker!
I worship the ground beneath your feet,
So marry me and make me complete!

13
PRINCE. I’m sorry, but I can’t and I won’t.

MALAB. (nastily) You might just regret it if you don’t.

I’ll ask you one more time. Will you marry me?

PRINCE. No.

MALAB. For the last time, will you marry me?

PRINCE. No.

MALAB. Alright, one more last time, remembering that I’m a witch, will
you marry me?!

PRINCE. No!

MALAB. PLEASE!!

PRINCE. No!!

MALAB. Then you’ll endure a living death,

For all the days you still draw breath!
Trapped in a foul and loathsome form.
Your kingdom stuck in winter’s storm.

PRINCE. Stop this!

MALAB. It’s done – that is my curse,

Which only marriage will reverse!
If you can win a loving kiss,
A smooch which leads to wedded bliss,
Then you’ll have beaten Malabelle
And I will have to face my spell –
My magic will bounce back on me!

PRINCE. Then couldn’t you just let me be?

MALAB. The snow will sooner fall indoors -

I’ll be a pooch with pretty paws!
Oh, why do I say these crazy things?
It’s just the madness my love brings!
On your kisses I’d hoped to feast,
But now you’ll turn into a Beast!

PRINCE. I feel my body start to change,

(looking at hands) And on my skin a scaly mange.
My shirt is torn, I start to burn!
Aah! (Runs off.)

MALAB. (shouting after) That’s just what happens when you spurn,

14
 A loving, needy, vengeful witch!
(to AUDIENCE) I sometimes really am a - bit of a moo,
But love’s akin to hate and that’ll have to do.
He can fret out the rest of his days as ugly as sin and with only
the furniture for company!

(MA, BEAUTY, JACQUES, CAPUCINE, FELIX and the

CHORUS, as pages and villagers, come on excitedly from
the opposite side.)

CHORUS 1. He’s arrived!

CHORUS 2. The Prince is here!

CHORUS 3. I want to see him!

CHORUS 4. But where is he?

MA. He’s not here.

BEAUTY. He’s gone.

MALAB. That’s right. He’s gone! He didn’t fancy the weather. Summer’s
just been cancelled!

FELIX. Why’s that?

MALAB. Silence, or I’ll turn you into a chihuahua!

FELIX. (to AUDIENCE.) I need some help here! (Covers his ears,
shuts his eyes and runs on the spot and screams.) Aaaaah!

(AUDIENCE shout.)

Thank you!

MALAB. (to AUDIENCE) How dare you shout at me! I’m too lovely and
gorgeous to be told anything! (to FELIX, MA etc.) And as for
you -
I’ll teach you all to tremble and to fear,
That Prince of yours has gone and winter’s here!
So let the icy storm winds rage and blow,
Bring hail; bring sleet - and the wrong kind of snow!

(NUMBER, led by MALABELLE, foretelling doom and

destruction. BLACKOUT.)

15
 SCENE 2.

Ma’s Cottage.

Tabs or front cloth. A moveable cut out cottage interior

works well in this scene – also a dog basket at pros R or L.
(See notes at back.)

MA discovered sitting on a small stool. She weeps into a

hanky.

MA. Oh, dear. Oooh. Oh. (Blows nose noisily.) I am sorry, I do beg
your pardon – but I’m so upset! Ever since that horrible witch
came to the village, everything has gone from bad to worse.
This endless winter’s made everyone poor. Look at me! I’m in
the same outfit I was two years ago!

JACQUES. (entering with CAPUCINE) Ma, Ma! Capucine’s brought a

carrot to share!

MA. A carrot? A lovely, crunchy, juicy carrot? Food!

FELIX. (bounding on from other side) Did someone say food? My

middle name is food!

CAPUCINE. We’re going to have to share it, Felix.

JACQUES. And it’s not quite a whole carrot.

CAPUCINE. It’s not even quite half a carrot.

MA. Not half a carrot?

CAPUCINE. (producing big green stalk with a tiny bit of carrot) It’s more
the memory of a carrot.

MA. A memory?

FELIX. (pointing at JACQUES) Look at him. He’s been getting extra

carroty chunks, I know he has!

JACQUES. Felix –

FELIX. You have, haven’t you?

CAPUCINE. So what, if he has had a little nibble!

FELIX. I want a little nibble!

CAPUCINE. Well, you can’t have a little nibble.

16
FELIX. Just because you love him!

CAPUCINE. (flustered) No I don’t… I mean -

FELIX. It’s all too much. (Puts hands over ears, shuts eyes and runs
on the spot and screams.) Aaaah!

(AUDIENCE shout.)

(Aghast.) Not at Capucine!

JACQUES
MA &
CAPUCINE. FELIX!!

MA. Into your basket! Remember, Capucine is a guest in this house.

Poodle power indeed.

FELIX. (deeply contrite, sits in dog basket) I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I
forgot about all my friends out there. I’d never, ever want
anybody to shout at you, Capucine.

MA. Oh, look, here’s Beauty.

(BEAUTY enters.)

Any food in the shops?

BEAUTY. I’m afraid not.

MA. I thought so. You’re just in time not to have any supper with us.

BEAUTY. Oh, well. At least it helps to keep us all trim.

MA. But I’m the same weight I was two years ago! I wouldn’t mind if I
was slim and beautiful, but all I am is hungry. I’m so hungry I
could eat my own reflection!

CAPUCINE. I’m so hungry I could eat an elephant’s reflection!

JACQUES. I’m so hungry I could eat all the nuts in a factory making pork
pies that might contain nuts…!

CAPUCINE. (a beat) I’d prefer the pies.

JACQUES. I meant if there weren’t any pies.

MA. Oh, what are we going to do?!

17
JACQUES. (bravely) It’s no good, Ma. When I look at you, when I look at
Beauty, when I look at Capucine -

FELIX. What about me? Do you look at me too?

JACQUES. (irritated) Yes, alright, Felix, when I look at you too – I know
what I must do. I must set out to seek our fortune.

BEAUTY. (alarmed) Jacques!

CAPUCINE. No, Jacques, you can’t, you mustn’t!

JACQUES. Why not?

MA. (hurriedly) Because you’re too young.

CAPUCINE. Exactly.

JACQUES. I’m twenty four!

CAPUCINE. You’re a young twenty four!

MA. But Jacques is right. Someone must go – and that someone will
have to be me!

JACQUES. But how can you go, Ma? It’s a man’s world out there.

MA. That’s –

CAPUCINE. Debatable –

MA. An entirely chauvinistic, sexist remark - but as we’re in

nineteenth century France, I shall overlook it.

BEAUTY. Ma!

MA. If it’s a man’s world, I shall go forth as a man! Excuse me. I need
to adjust my attire. (Exits.)

CAPUCINE. Why should it be a man’s world?

ALL. It’s not fair!

(Brief girl power type NUMBER, in which FELIX and

JACQUES find themselves surprised participants. At the
end of the number, there is a BLACKOUT. FELIX is revealed
in a tight spotlight.)

18
FELIX. And so, in a desperate bid to save her poor, defenceless,
loveable poodle and her two grown up children who were still
living at home, Ma set out into the cold, hard winter.

(LIGHTS build. MA enters wearing men’s clothes, big

shoulders and ample bosom. Big hips in her long trousers –
and a disastrous man’s wig.)

She departed on foot - her manly boots and her assertive

trousers, sending a sure signal that Ma, or Mar-co, as she was
to become, meant business… With a heavy heart she trudged
off. (MUSIC.) Lonely step after lonely step.

(MA trudges.)

Slowly the cottage receded from sight… (Ideally, CAPUCINE

and JACQUES wheel off the cottage interior into the wing.)
And she was alone.

(MA looks around and stops.)

And she continued to trudge.

(MA resumes trudging.)

And trudge… And trudge…

(FELIX watches her, but becomes bored and fiddles with his
nails. MA becomes increasingly irritated.)

And trudge…

MA. Oy!

FELIX. What?

MA. (making to sit) She stopped trudging and rested for the night.

FELIX. No, she didn’t. She felt weary, but she continued to trudge.

(Resentfully MA continues to trudge.)

Long were the miles ahead of her.

MA. Long?

FELIX. Very long. She needed to go far… And so she broke into a trot.

(Very resentfully MA breaks into a trot.)

19
 A brisk trot - which became a run. A headlong, joyous dash
towards the lights in the darkness… Eventually, she stopped
running and hid outside town.

MA. (slumping to the ground) Thank goodness for that!

FELIX. Covering herself in leafy fronds, she slept.

MA. Thank you! (Sleeps.)

FELIX. And then she woke.

MA. She slept!!

FELIX. No, she woke with the lark.

(Trilling bird or piano NOISES from pit.)

The lark – that trilling herald of a new day.

(MA produces toy pistol and shoots ‘the lark’.)

It was a fine morning. A gentle brook murmured close by, plish

plashing over the stones. So, Ma stripped naked and washed.

MA (looks momentarily aghast and then briskly exits – shouting

off) Discretely behind a bush! (Lobs bundle of clothes on
stage.)

FELIX. (catching clothes and lobbing them back off) Then she got
dressed again and resumed her journey.

(MA comes back on again fully dressed.)

And again, she started to trudge –

MA. (starting to trudge) Not more trudging.

FELIX. Yes, lots more trudging. Trudging in the morning, trudging in the
afternoon, trudging -

MA. (brusquely interrupting) But trudging got her no-where. There

was no work, no money to be had and she encountered an
austere world of broken chances, scant opportunity and public
service cutbacks – SO SHE DECIDED TO GO BACK HOME!

FELIX. After some little time.

MA. Yes, after some little time…

20
FELIX. (with a Gallic shrug) Sadly she turned - to trudge back home.

(MA turns sadly.)

More sadly than that.

MA. More? (Assumes sadder expression.)

FELIX. Much more sadly.

(MA assumes extra sad expression.)

But with a touch of humour.

MA. HUMOUR?!!

FELIX. Wry humour… With a spring in her step.

(Scowling, MA walks jauntily.)

All went well.

MA. Good.

FELIX. Until –

MA. What now?

FELIX. SHE CAME UPON A DARK, DARK WOOD!

(Lights change.)

It was called Wild Wolf Wood on account of the wild wolves –

(SOUND of wolves howling.)

And also Wild Bear Wood –

MA. On account of the wild bears?

(SOUND of bears growling.)

FELIX. (fearfully) Yes! But none of them liked eating poodle.

MA. But they preferred poodle to human.

FELIX. No, they didn’t.

MA. Oh, yes they did!

21
FELIX. (encouraging AUDIENCE) Oh, no they didn’t!

MA. Oh, yes they did!

FELIX. (with AUDIENCE) Oh, no they didn’t!

MA. They did, they did, they did!

FELIX. (with AUDIENCE) They didn’t, they didn’t, they didn’t!

(Two wolves (CHORUS) jump on at the wing.)

BOTH. Aaaah!

(CHASE SEQUENCE.

The wolves chase after both MA and FELIX, with FELIX

interjecting dialogue wherever possible - by all means
create extra dialogue to fit.

It’s also fun if the chase involves not just wolves and bears,
but also something totally unexpected - like a robot, or the
front of house manager, etc!)

FELIX. Ma ran deeper and deeper into the wood! The fearsome wolves
baying for her blood…!

Deeper and deeper she ran. Through bush, briar and brambles,
stumbling, tripping, clothes snagging, her breath coming in big,
gasping sobs…!

(Slowly tabs open or fly out, to reveal a rose bush – or it

can be pushed on to one side.)

And then across a little clearing, Ma saw a beautiful rose… And

tragically, all the wolves and bears started to chase after me!!

(FELIX runs off stage or through the Auditorium with the

wolves in pursuit.)

MA. What a beautiful rose! Oh, dear, I hope Felix is OK. Oooh…
Just let me get my breath back… That’s better… Oh, well - if I
am to return with nothing, at least I can return with a beautiful
rose for my beautiful Rose.

(MA picks the rose. Unseen by MA, the BEAST enters.)

There…

(The BEAST emits an anguished roar.)

22
BEAST. WHAT MAN DARES PICK MY ROSE?!

MA. (squawking) Me? I mean… (deeply) Me?

BEAST. Yes, YOU!! You want my rose, you must pay with your life!

MA. No!

BEAST. Yes! Bare your throat and I will rip it out quickly and cleanly.

MA. No, spare me, look – you can have the rose back – I don’t want
it anymore!

BEAST. I am not a shopkeeper, I don’t accept returns – now prepare to

die like a man!

MA. But I’m not very manly!

BEAST. I know.

MA. You do?

BEAST. You look soft –

MA. Yes!

BEAST. Podgy –

MA. Yes, yes!

BEAST. And will die!

MA. Yes, yes, yes – I mean, no, no, no! Spare me!

BEAST. But you’re a thief!

MA. I didn’t realise the rose belonged to you - it was just a rose for
my Rose.

BEAST. Your Rose?

MA. My daughter Rose. My beautiful Rose.

BEAST. Your daughter is beautiful?

MA. That’s her name. We call her Beauty…

(The BEAST is shaken and affected by this news.)

23
 Is something wrong?

BEAST. (roaring) Everything is wrong! (Recovering.) But maybe I will

spare your life - on one condition.

MA. Yes?

BEAST. Your daughter must take your place and come to live here at the
castle.

MA. No!

BEAST. She must come willingly and in return I will send you home
laden with treasure. You need fear poverty no more.

MA. But I could never exchange Beauty for money!

BEAST. Think some more, my friend; if your daughter does not come to
the castle by midnight tomorrow, I will find you and I will kill you.

MA. But even so, I could never –

BEAST. You don’t have to do anything! It is your daughter who must

come willingly and alone.

MA. (desperately) But she might be busy tomorrow.

BEAST. Not good enough.

MA. Or have a headache.

BEAST. Still not good enough!

MA. Or maybe she won’t be able to find her way!

BEAST. Beauty may walk fearlessly through the snow and the forest will
show her the way.

MA. But what if it doesn’t?

BEAST. (grabbing MA by the lapels) IT WILL! Now do we have an

agreement, or do I tear you to pieces right now?

MA. No! I mean yes, possibly, I suppose so, maybe!

BEAST. You will stay the night. Think over my proposal. We will talk
again in the morning. Aimee and Remy!

(AIMEE and REMY enter.)

24
AIMEE. Hello.

REMY. How lovely to meet you.

BEAST. Enough! Prepare our visitor for bed. Let the outside be inside!

(BEAST makes a magic pass. MUSIC. The action is

continuous as the tabs part to reveal the bedroom.
Anything which needs to be done is orchestrated by AIMEE
and REMY….)

SCENE 3.

A Bedroom in The Beast’s Castle.

Fullset. A bed in which the occupant is able to stand. There

is an empty suspended picture frame.

Human furniture, a BEDSIDE TABLE, a LAMP, a CHEST OF

DRAWERS and a RUG.

AIMEE. Here we are.

REMY. This is your bedroom.

AIMEE. You’ll be comfy here tonight –

MA. (groggily) Who are you?

REMY. I’m Remy and she’s Aimee.

AIMEE. We’re a picture – and look, this is our frame. (AIMEE and REMY
pose in their frame.)

AIMEE. And there’s your bedside table.

TABLE. Hello.

REMY. Your lamp.

LAMP. Hello.

REMY. And your chest of drawers.

C OF D. Hello.

RUG. I’m your rug.

REMY. Oh, yes. Your rug.

25
MA. Evening.

LAMP. (yawning) I’m feeling pretty sleepy.

AIMEE. Yes, we all need to go to sleep. Let’s get you changed. The
Talking Clock will be here in a minute – and when he says it’s
time for bed –

OTHERS. It’s time for bed!

(Lullaby type NUMBER, led by AIMEE and REMY. MA’s

jacket is removed and she is put to bed in a long nightgown
and nightcap.

Towards the end, the TALKING CLOCK enters and

officiously makes sure all the furniture is in position.

AIMEE and REMY return to their picture frame.)

TALKING C. Time for bed!

(The room goes to sleep. After a few moments MA wakes

with a start.)

MA. I couldn’t possibly sell Beauty! (Overcome with tiredness, she

yawns hugely.) Never mind… I’ll tell him in the morning…

(MA falls back asleep and snores. The whole room snores
in counterpoint. MALABELLE creeps on.)

MALAB. This oafish buffoon could spoil everything! I don’t want Beauty
anywhere near this castle! What if she fell in love with the
Beast? Oh – bêtise! What shall I do? I know! I’ll use magical
hypnosis. (To MA) Now listen carefully… (MUSIC) When you
wake you will be in my power -

TALKING C. (waking in a trance) When I wake I will tell you the hour.

MALAB. Sssh, you talkative clock go back to sleep!

And no more chit chat, not another peep.
(To MA) When you wake you will be in my power.

MA. (waking) All I wanted was one little flower!

MALAB Just take deep breaths and count backwards with me,
Ten, nine, eight,

MA. (dopily) Four.

MALAB. And after four comes,

26
MA. Two.

MALAB. (Takes a breath to stifle her irritation.)

I have you now in a magical trance,
So just relax, we’ll leave nothing to chance.
Forget all about the Beast wanting Beauty,
And simply remember the treasure – the booty!

MA. Booty not Beauty?

MALAB. You’ve got it in one!

And booty not Beauty is much more fun.
So, when he comes back with his proposal,
You’ll have an answer at your disposal.

MA. I take the treasure!

MALAB. And forget the rest.

Because that’s the way it’ll work out best.
So, go back to sleep, forget where you are.

(MA goes back to sleep.)

And the Beast will kill you, ugly old Ma!

There, it’s done! She’ll forget all about what the Beast wants and
just take the treasure. Then the Beast will come looking for her,
tear her to pieces and Beauty will never come to the castle,
never fall in love with the Beast – and I’ll have won and you can
all go home an hour early! A bientot!

(MALABELLE exits, giving the TALKING CLOCK a spiteful

nudge. He starts, yawns, and then starts shouting.)

TALKING C. Dingalingalingalingaling! Wake up sleepyhead! Wake up

everybody! Dingalingalingalingaling!

(The room starts to wake up.)

MA. Just five more minutes. (Groggily she tries to turn off the
clock by grabbing his nose.)

TALKING C. Ow! Let go of my clock face! Wake up Aimee; wake up Remy,

time to see to the Beast.

(AIMEE and REMY shake themselves awake.)

AIMEE. Good morning, Talking Clock!

REMY. We’ll see you later, Talking Clock!

27
 (AIMEE and REMY exit.)

TALKING C. Dingalingalingaling!

MA. (trying to turn off the clock) Five more minutes!

TALKING C. Ow! Let go! I’ll turn myself off - I’ve stopped. (Freezes.)

(Slowly MA takes in the room.)

TABLE. Good morning!

LAMP. Good morning!

C of D. Good morning!

RUG. Good morning!

MA. Where am I? Talking rugs and furniture! Am I still alive?

BEAST. (entering) You soon won’t be if you forget my proposal of last

night.

MA. Proposal?

(MUSIC sting. MA glazes over and talks woozily.)

Booty not Beauty.

BEAST. What?

MA. I’ll take the treasure.

BEAST. Yes, I thought you might sing a different tune in the morning.
(Disdainfully.) Everyone has their price. Castle Sprites!

(TABLE, CHEST OF DRAWERS, LAMP and RUG leap to

attention.)

See our guest on his way. His coach is waiting.

TABLE. You’re ever so lucky.

LAMP. Come along!

C OF D. We thought you were toast!

RUG. I want some toast. I’m starving!

28
 (The FURNITURE rush MA off, giggling.)

BEAST. Talking Clock…

(The Talking Clock remains frozen.)

TALKING CLOCK!

TALKING C. (guiltily springing to life) Eh? What? It’s four minutes past. I’ll
swear it is!

BEAST. Get to the very best bedroom. I want everything to be perfect for
Beauty tonight. And if she isn’t here by midnight, I’ll tear her
father to pieces - piece by little piece!

BLACKOUT.

29
 SCENE 4.

Back at Ma’s Cottage.

Front cloth or tabs.

JACQUES and CAPUCINE revealed sitting on the front of

the stage.

JACQUES. Do you think Ma will ever come back?

CAPUCINE. I hope so, Jacques. I hope so.

JACQUES. So do I. It’s been ever such a long time.

CAPUCINE. I know…

JACQUES. There’s something I want to ask you and I think it would make
her happy, if when I ask you, you said…

CAPUCINE. (dreamily) Yes, Jacques?

JACQUES. Well, it’s tricky…

CAPUCINE. Is it?

JACQUES. You and me - you know what I want to say –

CAPUCINE. I want to hear you say it.

JACQUES. Well, I know we haven’t got any money or anything…

CAPUCINE. Yes, I know that too.

JACQUES. But I was wondering…

CAPUCINE. Yes?

JACQUES. If, you might consider…

CAPUCINE. Yes?

JACQUES. At some time in the future -

CAPUCINE. Well, go on Jacques, spit it out!

(MA appears at the back of the Auditorium in nightgown,

carrying a chest.)

MA. Hellooo! I’m back!

30
JACQUES. It’s Ma!

CAPUCINE. She’s back!

JACQUES. (shouting) Ma’s back!

BEAUTY. (running on and down into the auditorium) Ma! Ma, you’re
back!

MA. Oh, Beauty, Jacques, Capucine! How lovely to see you all!

BEAUTY. Oh, Ma, I’m so happy to see you!

JACQUES. We’ve missed you so much! Let me give you a hand with that
chest.

MA. Thank you, dear.

FELIX. (bounding on) I’ve missed you too, Ma! I’ve missed you the
most!

BEAUTY. Where’ve you been?

CAPUCINE. Why are you in a nightshirt?

MA. Well, that’s the funny thing. It’s all a bit of a blur. But the long
and the short of it is that we are RICH!!

ALL. Rich?

MA. Look! (Flings open the chest to reveal huge riches.)

JACQUES. Wow!

CAPUCINE. Gosh!

FELIX. That is serious, serious moolah!

BEAUTY. How ever did you come by it, Ma?

MA. I can’t remember. And I know there’s something really important

I need to tell you!

JACQUES. What is it, Ma?

MA. I don’t know, but never mind, it’ll come to me in a minute. Oh,
did you ever see such riches! Call the whole village. We can all
have whatever we want!

31
 (Up tempo NUMBER, celebrating wealth and money. Part
way through, they are joined by the CHORUS as villagers.
FELIX finds a cache of sweets within the treasure and these
are gaily thrown into the AUDIENCE, before a final chorus.
At the end, some of the CHORUS remain.)

MA. That’s enough of that – I’m going to go upstairs and change into
some nice women’s clothing.

JACQUES. (producing from chest) Look here, there’s a cute little box.
(Opens box and takes out a single rose bearing a label.) A
beautiful rose! (Reading) “For Beauty.” It’s for you, Beauty!

CHORUS 1. It’s lovely!

MA. (staggering) Oh, no!

JACQUES. What?

BEAUTY. What’s wrong?

CAPUCINE. Are you OK?

MA. I’ve remembered…

BEAUTY. What?

MA. I’ve remembered what I needed to tell you! And I’ve taken the
treasure! Oh, no! Oh, no!

BEAUTY. What is it, Ma?

MA. How could I do such a thing?

BEAUTY. What thing, Ma?

MA. I was coming home and in a little clearing I found a beautiful

rose, just like this one. I picked it from the tree – and then a
terrible Beast came roaring at me demanding my life in
payment. I tried to apologise and explain that it was only a gift
for you, a beautiful rose for you, my Rose, my Beauty. And then
the Beast offered to spare my life… and give me treasure… if…

JACQUES. If what, Ma?

MA. If Beauty would go to live with him… He said if you walked

through the snow, the forest would show you the way…

CAPUCINE. And so you took the treasure?

32
MA. He said he would find me and kill me otherwise, but I was going
to tell him this morning that he couldn’t possibly have Beauty!
(Tearfully) I’ll have to go back. I just don’t know how I could
have forgotten all this. I’m so very, very sorry. I’ll just have to go
back and see what happens.

BEAUTY. No, Ma. I’ll go.

MA. But you can’t!!

BEAUTY. I can, Ma. I’ll be alright. I know I will. I just have to walk through
the snow and the forest will show me the way.

(FX. The sound of wind in the trees. MUSIC.)

MA. (tearfully) But I forbid you to go.

BEAUTY. (gently) You can’t… Jacques, can you fetch me a lantern?

(JACQUES goes out.) And Felix?

FELIX. (quietly) Yes?

BEAUTY. My shawl?

(FELIX nods and goes out.

FX wind noise builds. Ideally, an on-stage snow drop

starts.)

Good bye Ma, I know I’ll see you again. (Kisses her.)

MA. (with a huge sob) Oh, Beauty!

BEAUTY. Good bye, Capucine. Look after them all won’t you.

CAPUCINE. Of course. (They kiss.)

(JACQUES and FELIX return with lantern and shawl.)

BEAUTY. (hugging JACQUES and FELIX) Good bye, Jacques. Good

bye, Felix. Now stop worrying about me.

(JACQUES nods mutely. FX wind and storm noises become

more urgent.)

FELIX. Good bye, Beauty.

CHORUS. Good bye, Beauty.

BEAUTY. Good bye everyone… Good bye…

33
 (MUSIC swells. Maybe it even starts to snow in the
auditorium. ALL watch.)

I just have to walk through the snow…

JACQUES. It’s going to drift badly.

(BEAUTY starts to descend the steps.)

It’ll be waist deep in minutes, don’t do it, Beauty.

BEAUTY. I have to do it. (To AUDIENCE.) Do you think I can do it?

(Response.) Will you help me? (Response.) I said; will you help
me?

(Response. FX. Thunder. BEAUTY sets off through

AUDIENCE.

MA, FELIX, CAPUCINE, JACQUES and the CHORUS line the

stage waving.

The snow and storm effects reach a crescendo and then

start to abate.

Slow fade to BLACKOUT.)

34
 PART 2. SCENE 5.

The Beast’s Castle

Setting can be very similar to scene 3, with a sumptuous

banquet laid for two UC.

DIM LIGHT. MUSIC. BEAUTY makes her way through the

auditorium with a lantern. Magical little fairy lights twinkle
on stage.

BEAUTY. Fireflies dancing through the trees! How pretty it all is! The forest
really did show me the way!

(AIMY and REMEE appear with lanterns. CHORUS members

appear as Furniture and Servants. BEAUTY gains the
stage.)

REMY. Welcome!

AIMEE. You must be Beauty!

REMY. Or Rose.

BOTH. Or both!
.
(NUMBER to welcome BEAUTY, whose cape and lantern are
taken from her by the end. The music is suspended in mid-
note by…)

BEAST. (off) BEAUTY!

AIMEE. We’d best be gone!

REMY. We’ll see you later.

CHORUS. Good luck!

(ALL scurry off leaving BEAUTY alone.)

BEAST. Come closer.

(BEAUTY forces herself to approach the BEAST.)

I see that you are both brave and beautiful.

BEAUTY. Thank you…

BEAST. (entering) How do you find me?

35
BEAUTY. (stifling a gasp) You? You are …

BEAST. Ugly like a beast!

BEAUTY. (a beat) Yes.

BEAST. You are also truthful. That’s good. I value that. I am a Beast and
that is what you must call me.

BEAUTY. Beast?

BEAST. Yes, BEAST! You must call me Beast. Sit down!

BEAUTY. What?

BEAST. I mean, are you hungry?

BEAUTY. Yes, I am. We’re all hungry these days.

BEAST. (indicating banquet) Please sit down then. I want to be the

perfect host.

BEAUTY. (sitting) Thank you.

(Two CHORUS rush on with big napkins for both of them.

They hand them over and rush off again.)

Oh, thank you!

BEAST. This is supper.

BEAUTY. It looks delicious.

BEAST. It will be. I endure a living hell in perfect luxury.

BEAUTY. Will you have some soup?

BEAST. Yes, please. Thank you for asking me.

(BEAUTY ladles a little soup into each bowl. The BEAST

takes a sip. It is unbearably hot and he loudly spits it out.)

(recovering) Piping hot! Is it perfect?

BEAUTY. Maybe I should just let it cool down.

BEAST. Maybe… Shall we have a conversation?

BEAUTY. If you wish.

36
BEAST. I do… Except…

BEAUTY. Yes?

BEAST. I don’t know what to talk about.

BEAUTY. No?

BEAST. No. I’ve had a dress made for you. (Points to screen
upstage.) You will try it on.

BEAUTY. I will?

BEAST. Yes, now. (Angrily) Whilst we wait for this ridiculously hot soup!

BEAUTY. (doubtfully) Very well.

BEAST. It’s behind that screen.

(BEAUTY goes upstage behind a screen, or into the

upstage wing.)

BEAUTY. It’s beautiful!

BEAST. Yes, it is. I hope you prefer it to the cheap clothes you came in.

BEAUTY. I beg your pardon?!

BEAST. I mean - I meant… I said what I meant, but I didn’t mean it to

sound rude.

BEAUTY. There’s no shame in being poor.

BEAST. No there isn’t… I beg your pardon.

BEAUTY. That’s OK.

BEAST. Good… (Triumphantly rushing up level with the screen.) We

could talk about the weather!

BEAUTY. Beast – I’m changing!

BEAST. (retiring sheepishly) I’m sorry, I’m sorry…Did you have a good
journey?

BEAUTY. Yes, thank you.

BEAST. Good… What was the weather like?

BEAUTY. It was snowing.

37
BEAST. Yes. It’s always snowing.

BEAUTY. That’s true.

BEAST. But you had a good journey?

BEAUTY Yes, it was easier than I thought it would be. I walked through
the snow and the forest showed me the way.

BEAST. Good.

BEAUTY. Yes, it was very good.

BEAST. Good…. Not too cold, I hope?

BEAUTY. (emerging in new dress) No, my cheap shawl kept me quite

warm thank you.

BEAST. Yes, of course… You look quite beautiful…

BEAUTY. Thank you. Why are you nervous of me?

BEAST. What?

BEAUTY. I’m frightened of you, but why are you so nervous of me?

BEAST. I want you to love me.

BEAUTY. Oh…

BEAST. You have nothing to fear. Shall we sit down again? (They sit.)
Would you like me to tell you about the Castle?

BEAUTY. If you’d like to.

BEAST. It’s a fantastical prison - I don’t want to tell you about the Castle!
I don’t know why I offered to do so. Soup?

BEAUTY. Maybe I’ll just have a bit of bread to start with. (Delicately
breaks off a bit.)

BEAST. You will have your own room and you may wander where you
want - but don’t ever ask me to take you to the Hall of Mirrors.
(Stuffs whole loaf in his mouth and chews voraciously.)

(BEAUTY stares at him. She tries to sip some soup, but the
BEAST registers her shock and cannot contain his self-
disgust.)

38
 Oh, how could I ever forget? I’m a Beast! A repulsive, dribbling,
animal beast! (He storms off.)

BEAUTY. … (calling) Beast? Beast!

BEAST. (off) What?

BEAUTY. Come back here. You can’t run out like that. Come back here!
How can I eat if you run away?

BEAST. (reappearing) I’m sorry. I let myself down. I’m sorry!

BEAUTY. It doesn’t matter. I’ll help you.

BEAST. No one can help me.

BEAUTY. Just sit down!

(The BEAST sits obediently. Using a spoon, BEAUTY feeds

him some soup. He slurps a bit, but is much affected.)

BEAST. Thank you… Thank you. Give me your hand.

(Nervously BEAUTY gives him her hand. He holds it

carefully before returning it.)

You are even more beautiful on the inside.

BEAUTY. Thank you.

BEAST. Will you marry me?

BEAUTY. Marry you? No, I couldn’t! It’s not possible, I mean –

BEAST. Forgive me. I spoke too soon. I must go now. We will talk again
tomorrow! (Rushes out.)

BEAUTY. But – oh, this is impossible! (Gets up and shouts after the
BEAST.) I’m all on my own here! I must go home! (Starts
forward.) But I can’t go home! I can’t go anywhere! I have to
stay here! (Crumples downstage in tears.)

(MALABELLE enters, unseen by BEAUTY. AUDIENCE

reaction.)

MALAB. (to AUDIENCE) Go on, boo away. I love my boos!

(She watches BEAUTY weep for a moment.)

MALAB. Well, well, maybe things haven’t turned out so bad,

39
 She’ll waste her life for a cross dressing Dad!
And endless suppers with the lovelorn Beast,
Will prove an empty, pointless way to feast!

(The TALKING CLOCK enters.)

How dare you barge in here – you didn’t knock!

TALKING C. Of course I didn’t knock, I’m just a clock.

But someone’s got to tick and tock - and sound out the hours
and tell of the days, the nights, the endless suppers with the
lovelorn beast –

MALAB. I’m just doing that!

TALKING C. And how after every supper he asks her to marry him!

MALAB. I was about to say that!

TALKING C. And how he’s always nice and not at all beastly.

MALAB. I know!

TALKING C. And how sometimes they have fish, and sometimes they have
meat and they always have lovely puddings –

MALAB. That’s not relevant!

TALKING C. It’s interesting!

MALAB. (waving her wand) Shut-up! (Rapidly) Shut up, shut up, shut
up!

TALKING C. I’ve ticked my last tock. It’s two minutes past eight… (Exiting
with injured dignity.) There’s no need for that sort of
behaviour.

MALAB. Why is everyone so quick to condemn?

All I want to hear are the words “Je t’aime”!
(To BEAUTY, who does not hear her.) Whereas, you, you little
minx, everyone trips over themselves to fall in love with you! So
just remember when you next have supper with the Beast and
you bat your big blue/brown eyes at him – just remember how
ugly he really is. Look at the hair, the wrinkles, the scaly skin –
no one could ever love him! The snow will fall indoors first!

(MALABELLE exits. BEAUTY remains in her reverie. The

BEAST enters.)

BEAST. Beauty!

40
BEAUTY. Beast! I was lost in thought.

BEAST. Shall we eat?

BEAUTY. Yes, of course.

BEAST. Hungry?

BEAUTY. I’m starving.

(Two CHORUS whizz in and change napkins, replace bread

etc.)

Thank you, Clementine.

CHORUS 1. You’re welcome.

CHORUS 2. Enjoy your meal!

(The two CHORUS rush out. BEAUTY and the BEAST start
to eat. The BEAST’S table manners are much improved.)

BEAUTY. I completely changed my room around today.

BEAST. I hope the furniture didn’t mind.

BEAUTY. They helped me.

BEAST. I can imagine. I’m sure it beats helping me.

BEAUTY. Doing what?

BEAST. Killing demons.

(A pause.)

BEAUTY. And how many demons have you got left to slay?

BEAST. Quite a few.

BEAUTY. And do they all live in the Hall of Mirrors?

BEAST. Don’t let’s -

BEAUTY. You are who you are. Please, Beast, you must -

BEAST. No, I cannot accept this! I refuse to look upon myself. You know
this. I will never grow accustomed to my appearance and it is
something I have willed myself to forget. I would gladly look at

41
 paintings all day – but no, the frames in my castle must be full of
mirrors! Please don’t talk about it.

BEAUTY. Alright… It’s just; you’re not as bad as you think you are. You’re
not truly repulsive.

BEAST. Just a bit repulsive?

BEAUTY. That’s not what I meant!

BEAST. On a scale of one to ten where do I fit in – hugely repulsive,

moderately repulsive –?

BEAUTY. Stop this –

BEAST. Too repulsive to love?

BEAUTY. Not again! Love! Love! Always love! I don’t know!

BEAST. Why don’t you know? We talk, we discuss so many things – I try
so hard, Beauty. Can you ever imagine loving me?

BEAUTY. I don’t know, maybe, I don’t know!

BEAST. Why not?!

BEAUTY. Why should I love you? Every evening you ask me this! You’re
considerate. You’re kind - you even make me laugh –

BEAST. Could you love me just a little bit?

BEAUTY. NO!! I don’t love you! There! Does that satisfy you? I won’t, I
can’t – pigs will fly first, the cow will jump over the moon and,
and -

BEAST. What?

BEAUTY. The snow will fall indoors and fill up the entire castle before you
make me love you!

BEAST. Who told you that?

BEAUTY. No one! I don’t know! It just came into my head. Stay there – let
the snow fall where it will - don’t follow me. I don’t want to see
you any more today! (Rushes out.)

BEAST. Beauty! Come back! Beauty! (Smashes table and cries aloud.

BLACKOUT.)

42
 SCENE 6.

Outside Ma’s Cottage.

Tabs or front cloth.

FELIX is revealed in a shaft of moonlight. He is howling. MA

enters, carrying a lantern.

MA. What are you doing Felix?

FELIX. I’m howling to the moon – Owooo!

MA. Why?

FELIX. I miss Beauty. I’m a sad, sick hound – owooo, owoooo!

MA. I miss Beauty too – in fact, shall I tell you a secret?

FELIX. What? Owooo!

MA. Every night I come out here to think about her.

FELIX. You do? Owooo!

MA. Yes, I do. Owooo!

FELIX. Hey, we could harmonise!

MA. I tell you what, Felix, I’ve written a little song.

FELIX. A song?

MA. To remind me of her. Would you like to hear it?

FELIX. Of course I would!

MA. Well, it’s happier than our howling, Felix, and it goes like this.

(MA sings song.)

(Optional suggested Lyric.)

Rose you are a Beauty,

Needing to be free,
This song has got your name on,
Wherever you may be.

If we sing up strongly,

43
 Maybe you will hear,
Can you hear us howling,
Loud and clear?
Owoooo!
Owooooooo!

FELIX. That song –

MA. You like it?

FELIX. I want to sing it too!

MA. Felix, I was wondering - if we sang it really loud, do you think

Beauty might hear us?

FELIX. That is an amazing idea! That is sensational!

MA. And following on from that idea, Felix –

FELIX. Yes?

MA. (indicating AUDIENCE) What about if we got them to help us?

FELIX. (wonderstruck) Ma, you are psychic! That’s what I was thinking
too! But how will they know the words?

MA. That’s why Capucine and Jacques have painted them out really
big.

FELIX. They have?

MA. Look...

(CAPUCINE and JACQUES enter with the song sheet.)

CAPUCINE. Here we are - the finished article.

FELIX. Capucine, you are just so brilliant! Let’s sing! Let’s sing!

JACQUES. Can you all see the words? (AUDIENCE response.)

MA. And are you all ready to sing? (AUDIENCE response.) I said -
are you all ready to sing? AUDIENCE response.) Fantastic!
Let’s go for it, thank you (Name of MD.)

(The song is sung through with the AUDIENCE.)

CAPUCINE. That wasn’t bad, but I think we can do better.

JACQUES. We need everybody to sing!

44
MA. Mums, Dads, Grannies and Granddads, everyone! Let’s go for it
again! Thank you, (Name of MD.)

(The song is sung through again.)

FELIX. Hey that was fantastic! (He notices that MA, JACQUES and
CAPUCINE are consulting together.) What’s the problem? (He
listens in.) What? Not loud enough?

Ladies and Gentleman, I’m so sorry. We think there is a problem

with the loudness somewhere in the auditorium. So, could we
just ask the upstairs (Or back half, if there is no upstairs.) to
sing again, please? OK? Thank you, (Name of MD).

(The Upstairs half sings.)

MA. Brilliant! And now Judges, could we have your scores please?

(MUSIC. CHORUS members enter either side and at the end

of the music they turn over large cards revealing the score
8.)

FELIX. Eight! Fantastic! And now can we hear downstairs please? OK

Downstairs, are you ready? Just listen to the music and let it
take you somewhere very special! Thank you, (Name of MD.)

(The Downstairs half sings.)

Judges, your scores, please!

(The score is 6.)

Six! Oh, no! Maybe the problem is downstairs. (To MA,

JACQUES and CAPUCINE, who are consulting.) What….?
(To AUDIENCE, as he descends into AUDITORIUM.) They
think the problem is quite near the front. (To MA) Row F,
maybe?

MA. A bit further back.

CAPUCINE. Row G.

FELIX. Row G!? Oh, dear, not row G?! (Surveying row G.) Can you be
more specific?

CAPUCINE. We really need to hear just row G.

FELIX. I am so, so sorry, row G. This has never happened before, but
could we just hear you sing on your own? And don’t worry about

45
 everybody looking at you, row G, I’ll sing with you. OK? Thank
you, (Name of MD.)

(The song is sung by row G.)

MA. Sensational! Judges, your scores please!

(The scores reveal a resounding 10!)

FELIX. Hey! We’ve got a result! We’ve fixed the problem and now you
can all be as loud as row G!

MA. So, let’s have everybody singing as loud as they can. Really
raise the roof! Thank you, (Name of MD.)

(The song is sung through by the full AUDIENCE. The

CHORUS exit.)

Fantastic! And do you know what? Maybe Beauty did get to hear
us after all!

JACQUES. Well, we certainly did our best.

MA. And it’s made me realise how much I miss her. Somehow we’ve
just got to get her back. Whatever it takes!

CAPUCINE. Do you really mean that?

MA. Of course, I do.

CAPUCINE. Good. Because I’ve been thinking about Beauty for some time
too and that’s why I’ve been working late at night in the forge.
(She emits a loud wolf whistle.)

(Three CHORUS run on with some fearsome weapons. A

sword, a trident and a spiked metal ball on a chain.)

JACQUES. (taking the sword) Hey, these are fantastic!

MA. (taking the trident) Amazing!

CAPUCINE. (taking the ball and chain) They’re not bad, are they?

FELIX. I could be really useful with one of those.

MA. (assuming en garde position) Take me on, Jacques.

JACQUES. (lunging) Hiyaaa!

MA. (parrying and attacking) Hiyaaa. Hoh!

46
 (CAPUCINE comes between the pair of them, flailing her
ball with fearsome screams.)

JACQUES. Hey, you’ve been practising!

MA. Nice moves, sister.

CAPUCINE. Do you really think so?

FELIX. (trying to join in) Hey, yeah!

CAPUCINE. (to MA) Did you notice how I’ve weighted the shaft?

MA. Balance?

CAPUCINE. Exactly.

(FELIX creeps away to the side, his lower lip quivering.)

JACQUES. And look at the craftsmanship on the hilt of my sword!

MA. It’s really good work.

CAPUCINE. Thank you.

MA. We’ll give that Beast something to think about.

JACQUES. I should say so.

CAPUCINE. He won’t be able to stand up to the three of us.

MA. All for one –

M, J & CAP. (lunging and laughing together) And one for all!

FELIX. (bursting into tears) What about me? I am valiant!

MA. Oh, Felix!

FELIX. It’s not fair!

JACQUES. You can have a go with my sword if you like.

FELIX. I don’t want your sword – I want my sword! But, but, but…

MA. Yes?

FELIX. (bawling) Capucine didn’t make me one!

47
MA. Oh, dear, what are we going to do?

FELIX. There’s nothing you can do!

MA. Let’s try and think of three good reasons to be cheerful.

FELIX. I don’t want to!

MA. I can see a smile on that little face.

FELIX. No, you can’t!

MA. Yes, I can!

FELIX. I can’t do this. I’m too upset! (Covers ears, shuts eyes, and
runs on the spot and screams.) Aaaaah!

(AUDIENCE response.)

Thank you! At least some of you understand what I’m going

through!

MA. It’s our own fault. We spoilt him when he was young.

CAPUCINE. Felix… Felix, are you listening to me?

FELIX. What?

CAPUCINE. Someone needs to take charge of the lantern.

FELIX. So?

CAPUCINE. The lantern holder will need to go first and that’s what I thought
you could do.

FELIX. Me?

CAPUCINE. You’ll be the leader. (To MA and JACQUES.) Won’t he?

MA &
JACQUES. Oh, yes.

FELIX. The leader?

CAPUCINE. The leader.

JACQUES. Look, Felix, here you go. (Hands FELIX the lantern. There is a
pause.)

48
FELIX. OK. I’ll do it. Line up everybody! (They do so.) Get ready to
follow your leader! Ready?

ALL. Ready!

(Ebullient, martial NUMBER. At the end they march smartly

off R, except FELIX who has started to march off L. He
notices his mistake and runs off after them.)

FELIX. Hey, wait for me, I’m the leader!

(BLACKOUT.)

49
 SCENE 7.

Beauty’s Bedroom.

Same setting as in Sc 3. BEAUTY revealed in bed. The

room is furnished with the CHEST OF DRAWERS, BEDSIDE
TABLE, LAMP and RUG. AIMEE and REMY are in their
picture frame.

BEAUTY. Oh, dear. Maybe I shouldn’t have shouted at the Beast. He’s
been ever so upset.

C of D. He’s kicked the armchair.

BEAUTY. I know. She’s been in tears. Poor Beast, he would never

normally do anything like that.

RUG. He’s usually quite nice. He never treads on me on purpose.

AIMEE. And he’s always liked –

REMY. The way we look!

(AIMEE and REMY smile in their frame.)

BEAUTY. I never expected to grow so fond of him - although I got really

cross with him this evening. Really cross. But I have been
feeling homesick. I keep thinking about home and my family and
how happy we used to be before the whole world went topsy
turvy.

TABLE. I’d like a family. I used to be part of a pair.

BEAUTY. Oh, poor table. But I do so wish I could see them all and give
them a goodnight kiss…Just now they’ve felt so close. It’s been
as if I could almost hear them in my head. Oh, well… Good night
Ma… Goodnight Jacques… Goodnight Felix…

TALKING C. (entering) Goodnight Beauty.

BEAUTY. Oh…! What time is it?

TALKING C. It’s late, Beauty. It’s time for bed.

OTHERS. It’s time for bed.

BEAUTY. You’re right. Goodnight, Talking Clock.

TALKING C. Call me Casio.

50
BEAUTY. Goodnight Casio.

TALKING C. Goodnight Beauty…

(BEAUTY falls asleep.)

She’s asleep… (yawns) Heyho.

(The TALKING CLOCK yawns and falls asleep, as do the

rest of the room. MUSIC. Other CHORUS run on as
SERVANTS. Gently they pull back the counterpane and take
BEAUTY out from her bed. She is out of her body,
dreaming. The PRINCE enters.)

BEAUTY. Prince Christophe!

PRINCE. Beauty.

BEAUTY. What are you doing here? Where did you go?

PRINCE. Look for me, Beauty.

BEAUTY. Look for you?

PRINCE. Find me out – but look with your heart. Don’t look for me with
your eyes. Look with your heart.

(NUMBER for PRINCE and BEAUTY. The FURNITURE,

TALKING CLOCK and AIMEE and REMY provide a gentle
chorus.

At the end of the number, the SERVANTS gently lead

BEAUTY back to the bed. The FURNITURE etc, yawn and
dreamily go back to sleep.

The PRINCE backs slowly towards the wing.)

PRINCE. (gently) Look for me with your heart, Beauty. Look for me and
you will find me.

(PYRO, MUSIC crash and momentary BLACKOUT. When the

lights come back up the PRINCE has disappeared and
MALABELLE is in his place.)

MALAB. Babe, let me make it very clear,

You won’t begin to find him here!

BEAUTY. Go away – get out of my dream!

MALAB. Oh, honey, did it really seem

51
 As if you’d won the Prince’s heart,
Infected him with Cupid’s dart?!

BEAUTY. Please, please, get out of my dream!

MALAB. Not until I hear you scream!

BEAUTY. Get out, get out, get out of my dream!

MALAB. Not until I hear you scream!

BEAUTY. (screaming) Get out, get out, get out!!!!!

(MALABELLE exits laughing wickedly.

BEAUTY wakes up, screaming.)

TALKING C. (waking in a panic) Dingalingalingalingaling! Get out! Get out!

Emergency! Get out! Get out!

FURNITURE.(waking up and bouncing up and down) Help! Help! Fire!

Fire!

AIMEE &
REMY. Fire, fire!

BEAUTY. (interrupting) Calm down, calm down it was just a dream!

TALKING C. (manhandling her out of the bed) Get out Beauty! Emergency!
Save yourself!

(The BEAST enters carrying a lantern.)

BEAST. SILENCE!

(The room falls silent.)

What is the meaning of all this nonsense? There’s no fire or

emergency. Beauty you stay here. The rest of you get to the
room for troublesome furniture. You too, Aimee and Remy.

REMY. But –

BEAST. Not another word!

(The FURNITURE and AIMEE and REMY exit.)

Talking Clock –

52
TALKING C. (exiting) I’m going, I’m going - it’s half past two in the morning in
case you’re interested!

(There is a moment’s silence.)

BEAST. I thought you were in danger.

BEAUTY. Did you?

BEAST. Yes.

BEAUTY. Well, I’m OK.

BEAST. Good.

BEAUTY. Where is he?

BEAST. Who?

BEAUTY. You know who… I dreamt of the Prince tonight. But it was very
real. I feel certain that he’s here. Somewhere in the Castle.

BEAST. Maybe if you looked with your heart instead of your eyes you
would see more.

BEAUTY. That’s what he said in my dream – how can you know?

BEAST. I can’t tell you where the Prince is.

BEAUTY. How could you do such a thing? How could you kidnap the
Prince?

BEAST. Beauty, I’ve done no such thing!

BEAUTY. I don’t believe you!

BEAST. It’s the truth!

BEAUTY. You’re hiding him somewhere!

BEAST. (shouting) Beauty, I cannot tell you where the Prince is, but if
you look with your heart you will find him!

BEAUTY. That’s just a stupid riddle. Why do you torment me in this way?
Is it some sort of game for you?

BEAST. No, Beauty, of course it isn’t.

BEAUTY. You’re despicable!

53
BEAST. I’m telling you the truth! Look at me!

BEAUTY. I can’t bear to – you ugly, evil, brutish monster – I hate you!

BEAST. NO!!! (Crumples to the floor.)

BEAUTY. Beast…? Beast, are you alright?

BEAST. Everything… Everything is pointless… I told you the truth.

BEAUTY. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things. I don’t hate you. I
don’t hate you at all. I spoke because I’m upset and I’m
confused. I just feel in a complete jumble and I need to go
home.

BEAST. Beauty –

BEAUTY. I’ll come back. I promise I will. But I’ve been missing my family. I
need to see that they’re alright and I need to go back home.
(Gently.) Do you understand? This is something I have to do
and if you won’t let me do it, I’ll do it anyway.

BEAST. I can’t imagine life here at the Castle without you. But you can
leave when it’s light. In the meantime, come with me and I will
show you that your family are safe and well.

BEAUTY. Where are we going?

BEAST. To the Hall of Mirrors. Come, you have nothing to fear.

(The BEAST leads BEAUTY out, lighting the way with his
lantern.)

54
 SCENE 8.

The Forest.

Tabs or front cloth.

MUSIC. FELIX, MA, CAPUCINE enter wearily, with JACQUES

bringing up the rear. FELIX carries his lantern and the
others their weapons.

JACQUES. Are we nearly there yet?

MA. What sort of question is that, Jacques?

JACQUES. It’s just a bit spooky here in the forest in the middle of the night.

MA. Well, of course it’s a bit spooky. We’re on a do or die mission to

rescue Beauty from the Beast!

FELIX. Do or die?!!

(Wolf Howls.)

Oh, no! Not the wolves again!

MA. Don’t worry about the wolves, Felix. They’re probably miles
away.

(Renewed wolf howls.)

CAPUCINE. I hope you’re right, that sound gives me the willies.

JACQUES. You’re not afraid of wolves are you?

CAPUCINE. I am. They’re the one thing in the world that scare me.

JACQUES. Oh, crumbs!

MA. I don’t feel so good now.

FELIX. Neither do I.

CAPUCINE. Nor me.

(More howls.)

MA. Maybe if we sang a song it would help to keep the wolves away.
Show ‘em we’re not scared!

JACQUES. Yes, let’s do something – anything at all.

55
CAPUCINE. How about “There were ten in the bed”?

JACQUES. Let’s do it. (To AUDIENCE) And you will tell us if you see any
wolves won’t you?

MA. Right then. A one two, a one, two, three, four -

ALL. There were ten in the bed

And the little one said,
“Roll over, roll over”
So they all rolled over,
And one fell out.

There were nine in the bed etc etc.

(A WOLF enters L and crosses slowly to midway behind the

four, who continue to sing, ignoring the shouts of the
AUDIENCE. By the time they reach the end of the next
stanza the WOLF has turned and exited L. They break off
singing.)

MA. Are you talking to us? What? A wolf! Over there? Alright, we’ll
go and have a look.

(They go to the wing L and look.)

JACQUES. Nothing at all!

MA. Well, we’ll keep singing.

There were eight in the bed etc etc

(A WOLF enters R, crosses behind the group to stand

behind CAPUCINE and taps her on the shoulder. CAPUCINE
turns, sees the WOLF, cries out and is chased off R by it.
The others continue singing eight and seven in the bed,
ignoring the AUDIENCE. They then break off.)

MA. What are you shouting about?

FELIX. Where’s Capucine?

MA. Another wolf? Where? Over there? Alright, we’ll go and have a
look.

(They go to the wing R and look.)

MA. There’s nothing at all. You’re just trying to frighten us. Well, we’ll
keep singing.
There were six in the bed etc etc.

56
 (A WOLF enters L, crosses behind the group to stand
behind JACQUES and taps him on the shoulder. JACQUES
turns, sees the WOLF, cries out and is chased off L by it.
The other two continue singing six and five in the bed,
ignoring the AUDIENCE. They then break off.)

MA. What is it this time?

FELIX. Where’s Jacques?

MA. What? More wolves? Where? Over there? Alright, we’ll go and
have a look.

(They go to the wing L and look.)

There’s nothing at all. You’re having us on. Well, we’ll keep

singing. Come on, Felix, we can do this.
There were four in the bed etc etc.

(A WOLF enters R, crosses to stand behind MA and taps

her on the shoulder. MA turns, sees the wolf, cries out and
is chased off R by it. FELIX continues singing, but doesn’t
quite get to the end of three in the bed. He breaks off panic
stricken.)

FELIX. Yes, what is it? And where’s Ma? Another wolf? No, I don’t want
to look. I don’t want to believe you. I’m just going to keep singing
and pretend I’m not here!

(During the following four wolves enter and stand either

side of FELIX.)

There were two in the bed

And the little one said
Rollover, rollover
So one rolled over
And one rolled out
There was one in the bed
And the little one said... (Terrified) Is it a wolf?

(AUDIENCE shout. One of the Wolves taps FELIX on the

shoulder.)

Four Wolves!!! This is too much. I need some help here.

(Covers ears, shuts eyes, and runs on the spot and
screams.) Aaaaah!

(AUDIENCE shout. The WOLVES take fright and run

off.)

57
Thank you! Thank you so very much!

(BLACKOUT.)

58
 SCENE 9.

The Hall of Mirrors.

Full set. Similar to Scenes 3 & 5, but with the addition of

lots of empty mirror frames. Big ones, small ones. One very
big one. It is helpful if this is on wheels so that it can be
easily struck.

BEAST. (entering with BEAUTY) Come, this way.

BEAUTY. Goodness. I’ve never seen so many mirrors – look at this one!

BEAST. I don’t want to.

BEAUTY. Maybe if you tried looking with your heart and not your eyes, you
might find mirrors easier.

BEAST. Very funny.

BEAUTY. I’m sorry. That was thoughtless.

BEAST. Here. Take this with you. When you are at home you can look in
this mirror and see me. (He hands BEAUTY a small mirror
frame.) But for now, it will show you your family.

BEAUTY. (looks in mirror) I can see them…! But I don’t understand.

They’re in the forest outside the Castle!

BEAST. WHAT?! (Grabbing the mirror.) This is treachery! They’re

coming to rescue you! AND –

BEAUTY. What?

BEAST. Your father is a woman!

BEAUTY. No, she isn’t! I mean yes, he is. I mean she is - I mean…

BEAST. (brandishing mirror) Look!

BEAUTY. It’s a long story.

(BEAST hits mirror and there is the sound of breaking

glass.)

You’ve smashed it!

BEAST. Just like my bargain with your father – it’s broken! Now go!

BEAUTY. But -

59
BEAST. Go before I tear you to pieces! I mean it - go!

(BEAUTY runs off. The BEAST looks at – but not into – the
big full length mirror.)

Look at yourself. Look at yourself, Beast! How could you ever

think that so perfect, so lovely a girl could even begin to fall in
love with you! Look at yourself…!

(We hear MA’s voice and a bump outside the auditorium.)

MA. (off) Ow! Careful.

BEAST. They’re in! Well, they must die. (Looks around briefly and
hides off.)

(MA, FELIX, JACQUES and CAPUCINE enter the

auditorium.)

MA. Where are we?

FELIX. We must be in the Castle.

JACQUES. Good thing Capucine was able to bend those bars open.

CAPUCINE. Look, there’s loads of people.

MA. I know, dear. Just pretend they’re not here.

CAPUCINE. And look at all those mirrors.

JACQUES. Just as long as there aren’t any more wolves.

(FELIX has gained the stage and is admiring his’ reflection’

in the big mirror. NB He needs to be the same side of the
mirror as the Beast was when he looked at, but not into the
mirror.)

MA. What can you see up there, Felix…?

(FELIX is in love with his own reflection.)

Felix…? Felix…? Oy!

(MA prods FELIX with her trident.)

FELIX. Yeeow!!

60
 (Taken unaware, FELIX jumps into the mirror. There is a
loud crash of breaking glass. ALL freeze.)

CAPUCINE. (whispering) What have you done, Felix

FELIX. (whispering) I’ve broken the mirror, Capucine!

(The BEAST emits a loud cry off. FELIX scurries away from
the noise and through the mirror frame.)

BEAST. (erupting on stage) Who dares disturb my peace!?

(FELIX freezes. The BEAST sees FELIX through the mirror

frame. They both carry lanterns. The BEAST mistakes
FELIX for his own reflection.)

I look like a dog! An ugly, mangy horrible dog!

(FELIX mirrors every move the BEAST makes, including

mouthing speech. The choreography needs to include
losing their lanterns.)

I hate my ludicrous floppy ears! I hate myself! I hate myself! It’s

too much!

(The BEAST covers his ears, shuts his eyes, and runs on
the spot and screams. “Aaaaah!” FELIX does the same.
AUDIENCE shout. They both stop in their tracks and look
out surprised. They are only a couple of feet away from
each other.)

(Disgusted) A poodle!?

(The BEAST looks back at his ‘reflection’ and lunges at it,

grabbing FELIX by the neck and throttling him. He throws
FELIX away and pursues him through the mirror frame.

MA, CAPUCINE and JACQUES have been clustered out of

the way. JACQUES throws FELIX his sword.)

JACQUES. Here, Felix, save yourself!

(The BEAST runs at FELIX, who manages, entirely by

accident, to run the BEAST through. The BEAST lets out an
agonised scream. ALL cheer. BEAUTY runs on.)

BEAUTY. What’s happening!

MA. Beauty!

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CAPUCINE. Felix got the Beast!

JACQUES. You’re safe!

BEAUTY. (running to the BEAST) Beast! Beast! He’s dying! He was

unarmed! How could you do such a thing, Felix!? You vicious,
cruel and nasty dog!

(BEAUTY rushes at FELIX and hits him. Stunned, he looks

at her. BEAUTY cradles the BEAST in her arms.)

BEAUTY. Beast! Come back to me, please don’t die, Beast!

(BEAUTY kisses the BEAST. MUSIC.)

BEAST. Beauty…

BEAUTY. Beast…

BEAST. You kissed me… How could you do such a thing?

BEAUTY. Because…. I love you.

BEAST. (speaking with difficulty) Marry me, Beauty.

MA. No!

JACQUES. No, Beauty. Don’t do it.

BEAUTY. Yes… Yes, I will.

(Directly above it starts to snow.)

CAPUCINE. I guess it’s up to her – but look!

BEAUTY. It’s snow!

BEAST. It’s snowing indoors.

BEAUTY. But - that’s what I shouted at you.

BEAST. I know. It means the enchantment is broken. It can be summer

again… and – Aaah!

(The BEAST cries aloud and rushes out. We hear thunder

and the crashing of drums. The lights flash and flicker and
the cast are thrown about the stage. Powerful magic has
been unleashed… The PRINCE re-enters as himself.)

BEAUTY. Prince Christophe!

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MA. Goodness. It’s just like that story with the frog.

BEAUTY. So, you were here after all.

PRINCE. Yes Beauty – (Turning to FELIX.) and thanks to…

FELIX. Me! My name is Felix.

PRINCE. And thanks to Felix, here. You finally saw me.

FELIX. Hey, I’m the hero! Kiss me, Capucine, kiss me and marry me, I
might be a Prince too!

CAPUCINE. Well, actually –

JACQUES. Actually, Capucine is spoken for; she’s going to marry me.

CAPUCINE. But you haven’t asked me yet.

JACQUES. Capucine, will you marry me?

CAPUCINE. Of course, I will!

MA. Both my children engaged on the same day!

FELIX. I don’t get this story at all.

BEAUTY. But what happened all that time ago when you came to the
village on market day? I went to fetch everybody and you had
gone.

PRINCE. That was all down to the wicked witch, Malabelle.

ALL. Malabelle?

MALAB. (off) Aaah!

MA. Who’s there?

MALAB. (off) It’s me, Malabelle! And now he’s broken my spell by finding
true love and I’m done for! I’m losing all my witchiness!

(MALABELLE enters. She has turned into a glamorous

poodle.)

It was me that turned him into a beast.

BEAUTY. Why did you do such a thing?

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MALAB. Because he wouldn’t marry me - even when I asked him nicely! I
got so wound up I boasted that if it snowed indoors, I’d turn into
a pooch with pretty paws! And now look what’s happened, all my
magic is bouncing back on me, I’ve grown fur! I’m a poodle!

FELIX. Suddenly I like this castle! You are one cute canine!

MALAB. What?

FELIX. Are you looking for companionship, good times and maybe
more?

MALAB. Isn’t everybody?

FELIX. You are truly beautiful!

MALAB. Really? Truly? Could you say that again?

FELIX. Truly, truly beautiful.

MALAB. No one’s ever said that to me before.

FELIX. No?

MALAB. I got no approval from Mum or Dad,

I was always in trouble – always bad.
I could never be part of love’s young dream,
Who would want a witch with low self esteem!

FELIX. Oh baby, I can see your ample charms…

Come let me hold you in my poodle arms!

JACQUES. It may have been snowing indoors, Ma. But look outside, it’s a
beautiful day.

MA. I can see the sun!

CAPUCINE. And you’re going to be the Queen Mother and I’m going to be –
so very, very happy!

PRINCE. And so am I!

BEAUTY. And I!

MALAB. And even me!

TALKING C. (running on excitedly) It’s snowing in the library!

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 (AIMEE and REMY, together with the CHORUS as Servants
and Furniture come on, all talking excitedly. “It’s snowing,
it’s snowing!” etc.)

AIMEE. (registering the PRINCE) You’ve changed – you’re handsome!

REMY. You’re the Prince again!

MA. So, can everything go back to how it was before?

C of D. But we don’t want to back – we like talking!

LAMP. Yes, we want to talk!

FURNITURE. We want to talk! We want to talk! We want to talk!

PRINCE. Of course, you can keep talking – but I don’t suppose everything
can go back -

MA. Why ever not?

PRINCE. Because it’s going to be even better!

FELIX. And that means we need to do some serious celebrating!

(Jubilant NUMBER. Full Company. At the end, a refrain

repeats. It gets quieter and quieter as the Company
gradually exit, apart from FELIX and MALABELLE. The tabs
come in, leaving FELIX and MALABELLE singing and
dancing together downstage. After a few moments, FELIX
notices the AUDIENCE.)

FELIX. (to AUDIENCE) You see, I told you this was a story about a
poodle. A handsome, non-smoking, giant French Poodle who
finds –

MALAB. Love!!! (Grabs his face and kisses him.)

(BLACKOUT.)

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 SCENE 10.

A Triple Wedding

Set is same as before, only the mirrors have been struck –

and maybe some bunting adds to the gaiety.

Lights up and walk down. ALL turn in as BEAUTY and the

PRINCE meet UC.

MA. Hip, hip,

ALL. Hooray!

(BEAUTY and the PRINCE come down and take their bow.)

PRINCE. I’ve won a girl, who stole my heart,

BEAUTY. And I just know we’ll never part.

JACQUES. I’ve won a girl, who’s really strong,

CAPUCINE And I just know we won’t go wrong.

FELIX. I’ve won a girl, who’ll give me oodles,

MALAB. Of lovely baby giant poodles!

MA. We’ve all been winners and bid you adieu,

Good night,

ALL. Au revoir!

MA. And God bless too.

(Reprise NUMBER and FINAL CURTAIN.)

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SCENERY NOTES AND SUGGESTIONS.

Pantomime staging can vary hugely, so please use this section as the
roughest of guides. You know your space best and you should feel free to
make whatever changes and departures are necessary in order to create your
own unique version of the story.

SCENE 1. Market Day.

This is intended to be a full set scene. I would suggest a white cyclorama sky
cloth at the back, maybe with groundrows depicting distant fields of lavender
or sunflowers. Wingflats could suggest shops and market stalls, or possibly
continue the sunflower theme. A couple of free standing market stalls would
also add interest. The idea is create an idealised, sunny market day in
France.

SCENE 2. Ma’s Cottage.

A front cloth or tabs scene. A dog basket to one side is a nice touch for Felix
to sit in. In many ways, tabs are preferable to a front cloth, as they provide a
more neutral setting for the narration of Ma’s subsequent journey. If you want
to add interest, you could maybe have a small cut out cottage interior, which
gets a big laugh if you wheel it off on Felix’s line “Slowly the cottage receded
from sight…” Tabs with a centre opening also create possibilities to exploit
when configuring the chase.

SCENE 3. A Bedroom in the Beast’s Castle.

As nearly all the furniture is human, you can really let your imagination run
riot. You could opt for simple castle walls. Alternatively, you could choose to
show the exterior of the Castle, with a white cyclorama at the back and a cut
out of a grand, multi turreted chateau. Wing pieces could suggest either the
wintery encroaching forest, or the interior of the Castle. A neat touch is to
have a free standing hedge/rose bush piece on wheels, which can then be
reversed in sight of the audience to become a bed in which the occupant
stands.

SCENE 4. Ma’s Cottage.

As at Scene 2. The snow and storm can be created simply with sound and
light and of course a simple snow drop can be used on stage. The snow effect
suggested for the auditorium is a wonderful extra if budgets can run to it. The
flakes are created using an entirely harmless detergent solution, which when
lit, look indistinguishable from real, fat snowflakes. It’s surprisingly cheap to
hire a couple of snow blower machines – and the sound of the storm together
with the band will cover the noise!

SCENE 5. The Beast’s Castle.

As at Scene 3, with a sumptuous feast laid for two - and ideally a screen for
Beauty to change behind. Of course on a small stage the change could take
place offstage.

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SCENE 6. Outside Ma’s Cottage.
Front cloth or tabs. If a freestanding cottage interior has been used in scenes
2 & 4, it could be reversed and show an exterior for this scene.

SCENE 7. Beauty’s Bedroom.

As at scene 3 - maybe re-arrange the human furniture!

SCENE 8. The Forest.

Frontcloth or tabs.

SCENE 9. The Hall of Mirrors.

Full set scene. Use whatever elements of the Beast’s Castle seem most
appropriate. The mirrors can be achieved by hanging some brightly coloured
empty frames – you can then largely keep them out of the way! It’s useful if
the large mirror frame is on wheels. It can then be struck during the action
prior to the number at the end of the scene. You may wish to incorporate
rostra with steps down into this setting for the Walk down.

SCENE 10. A Triple Wedding.

As Scene 9, only without mirrors – and maybe with the addition of bunting or
flags.

PROPS LIST

Scene 1

As required for Market Stall Holders etc.

Newspaper (FELIX)
Large dog training book (JACQUES)

Scene 2

Dog basket (pre-set)

Small stool (MA)
Hanky (MA)
Green stalk with tiny bit of carrot (CAPUCINE)
Toy pistol (MA)
Bundle of clothes (MA)
Rose for Ma to pick

Scene 4

Treasure chest (MA)

Sweets (in treasure chest)
Box containing labelled rose (in treasure chest)
Lantern (FELIX gives to BEAUTY)

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Scene 5

Lantern (BEAUTY)
Lantern (AIMY)
Lantern (REMY)
Banquet laid for two (Pre set on table)
Banquet must include:
Soup tureen, ladle, 2 bowls and spoons
Bread
2 large napkins (CHORUS)
2 more large napkins (CHORUS)

Scene 6

Lantern (JACQUES)
Songsheet (CAPUCINE & CHORUS)
Sword }
Trident } (brought on by CHORUS)
Spiked metal ball }

Scene 7

Lantern (BEAST)

Scene 9

Several mirror frames for set

Must include:
One big full length mirror frame (useful, if on wheels)
One small hand held mirror frame

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