What Is This Module About?

We all need to be able to relate or deal with others. We do not and cannot live
alone. What you say and do can affect how others see you. At the same time, what you
hear and see from others can affect the way you see and relate with them. Although
relating to others is natural for all of us, there are still many things we have to learn
about it. And this is is where this module will be of help.
This module is made up of three lessons:
Lesson 1 – How Do You See Yourself?
Lesson 2 – Sharing Yourself With Others
Lesson 3 – Relating to Others More Effectively

What Will You Learn From This Module?

After studying this module, you should be able to:

♦ describe how you see yourself;
♦ identify ways on how you can improve your self-concept;
♦ disclose your feelings properly;
♦ identify the benefits of self-disclosure (self-revelation);
♦ explain key principles in communication;
♦ identify common communication misconceptions;
♦ define what perception is;
♦ define what empathy is; and
♦ identify other behaviors which can help you build healthy relationships with
others.

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 Let’s See What You Already Know

Before yous start studying this module, take this simple test first to find out how
much you already know about the topics to be discussed.
Write T if the statement is true and F if it is false in the blank before the number.
_____ 1. Your self-concept refers to the negative attitudes you see in yourself.
_____ 2. Physical characteristics contribute the most to one’s self-concept.
_____ 3. You should accept others first before you can accept yourself.
_____ 4. Some of your dissatisfaction comes from expecting too much of
yourself.
_____ 5. Your self-perception is always right.
_____ 6. Perception refers to how you view others and how others view you.
_____ 7. You should disclose or reveal your feelings whenever you feel like it.
_____ 8. People communicate only when they want to.
_____ 9. The ability to put yourself in other people’s shoes is called empathy.
_____10. Self-disclosure results in a better understanding of oneself.

Well, how was it? Do you think you fared well? Compare your answers with those
in the Answer Key on page 33.
If all your answers are correct, very good! This shows that you already know
much about the topics in this module. You may still study the module to review what
you already know. Who knows, you might learn a few more new things as well.
If you got a low score, don’t feel bad. This just means that this module is for you.
It will help you understand some important concepts that you can apply in your daily
life. If you study this module carefully, you will learn the answers to all the items in
the test and a lot more! Are you ready?
You may go now to the next page to begin Lesson 1.

2
 LESSON 1

How Do You See Yourself?

Before you can effectively relate to others, you have to understand yourself first.
You have to know who you are and what you want. This way, you will be able to let
others know how you want or prefer to be treated.
This lesson will teach you how to understand yourself and make use of this
understanding to better relate to others.
After studying this lesson, you should be able to:
♦ define who you are; and
♦ identify ways which can help you improve your self-concept.

Let’s Try This

Reflect on this question: Who are you? List down ten of your characteristics in
the space provided below.
1. ___________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________
4. ___________________________________________________________
5. ___________________________________________________________
6. ___________________________________________________________
7. ___________________________________________________________
8. ___________________________________________________________
9. ___________________________________________________________
10. ___________________________________________________________

How did you describe yourself? Did you describe yourself according to your
physical appearance, say “pretty?” Or did you describe yourself based on how you deal
with people, say “friendly?”

3
 A person may be described based on his/her physical characteristics, intellectual
characteristics, social characteristics or skills.
Let’s discuss each of these in details.

Let’s Learn

Physical characteristics — refer to a

person’s physical appearance or how
he/she looks, for example, fat, skinny,
short, beautiful, ugly, dark, fair, etc.

Intellectual characteristics — refer to

a person’s intellectual capacity or how
he/she uses his/her mind or brain, for
example, bright, smart, curious, slow, has
good memory, forgetful, etc.

Social characteristics — refer to the

way a person interacts with other people,
for example, outgoing, shy, friendly,
hospitable, cheerful, helpful, etc.

4
Skills — refer to a person’s talents and
skills or what he/she is good at, for
example, good swimmer, capable
carpenter, excellent painter, graceful
dancer, good writer, fine cook, etc.

Social roles — refer to the ties that you

have with other people or the roles you
play in different social groups, for
example, daughter, niece, employee,
friend, guardian, club member, etc.

Let’s Try This

Classify the ten characteristics you identified in the previous activity as to where
they belong using the table below. Try not to leave blanks by adding possible answers
that will fill up the given table.

Type of Characteristic Your Characteristics

Physical characteristics

Intellectual characteristics

Social characteristics

Characteristics based on skills

Characteristics based on social roles

The table you just completed will help you define your self-concept. What is a
self-concept? Read on to find out.

5
 Let’s Learn

Self-concept refers to your perception of yourself. It is how you see yourself.

But your self-concept will depend on how important its different aspects are to you.
For example, being intelligent may be more important to you than being pretty.
Therefore, one might say that you think physical characteristics are more important
than intellectual ones.

Let’s Try This

Which aspect of your self-concept is most important to you? Put a number

before each aspect depending on its importance (1 being the most important) to you.
_____ Physical characteristics
_____ Intellectual characteristics
_____ Social characteristics
_____ Characteristics based on skills
_____ Characteristics based on social roles

How, you see yourself may be partly or totally the opposite of how other people
see you. Remember that your experiences, environment and upbringing shape your
self-concept. It is therefore subjective or opinion-based.
Since self-concept is subjective, how would you then know if it’s right? How
would you know if you have a positive or negative self-concept?

Let’s Learn

A positive self-concept is characterized by three things:

♦ self acceptance;
♦ self-confidence; and
♦ a feeling of security.

Find out more about these as you read on.

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Self Acceptance
You can only have a positive self-concept if you accept who you are first.
Accepting yourself means accepting your strengths and weaknesses. Only if you have
accepted yourself can you change your opinions and be open to the new ideas,
opinions and feelings of other people. Only then can you share your feelings with
others too.

I know I can be really

rude at times, I’m sorry. I’m glad you realized that.

Self-Confidence
After accepting yourself, you should now build your self-esteem or self-
confidence. Do not be ashamed of your weaknesses. If you think you are not pretty,
it’s okay. A lot of people feel the same way. Besides, there may be other aspects of
your personality that people can appreciate. You may not be pretty but you are
intelligent. More importantly, you can work on your weaknesses and try to improve on
them. If you have high self-esteem despite your weaknesses, you can easily take and
accept criticisms.

Feeling of Security
To feel secure means having a firm belief in yourself and your actions. If you
assessed yourself well, you should not be bothered by what other people think. An
insecure person, on the other hand would find negative comments and criticisms
upsetting.

Let’s Try This

How can you improve your self-concept? Write your answer in the space
provided below.
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________

Share your work with a family membre, friend or co-learner and ask what he/she
think about your answer.

7
 Let’s Learn

If you want to have a positive self-concept here are the steps you can follow:
1. Be realistic with your self-perception. You should recognize your weaknesses
as well as your strengths. You should know and accept who you really are. A poor
self-concept may result from getting negative feedback from others.You should
then go with more supportive people who will point out your assets or good
qualities as well as your shortcomings.

2. Be realistic with your expectations.

Dissatisfaction with oneself may result
from expecting too much. Setting
unrealistic goals can only make you
unhappy. Growing taller at age 30 is, for
example, very unrealistic.

3. Have the will to change. If you really

want to change, you have to be willing to
do so first.

8
 Let’s Try This

What is your ideal self? What would you really want to be like? What
characteristics do you want to have which you feel you lack? Write your answer in the
space provided below.
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
Are your expectations close to what you are now? Do you think they are realistic?
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
How do you plan to change in order to meet your expectations? Write your
answer in the space provided below.
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________

Let’s See What You Have Learned

Do as you are asked in the following.

1. Ask one of your friends or family members what his/her self-concept is.
Then share with him/her what you think about him/her.
2. Ask a friend or family member to describe you as a person. Then compare
his/her description with your self-concept. Are they similar?

Let’s Remember

♦ Your self-concept tells your perception of yourself or how you see yourself
as a person.
♦ A person with a positive self-concept:
– accepts himself/ herself;
– has self-confidence; and
– feels secure.

♦ To have a healthier self-concept, you need to:

– be realistic with your self-perception;
– be realistic with your expectations; and
– have the will to change (if needed).

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 LESSON 2

Sharing Yourself With Others

In Lesson 1, you learned about yourself and how you see yourself. You can use
this knowledge about yourself in relating to others more effectively. In Lesson 1 you
asked a friend or family member how he/she sees you as a person. You were also
asked to check the accuracy of your self-concept. You actually related to someone in
the final activity.
How well do you think you did? In this lesson, you will find out how to better
relate to others.
After studying this lesson, you should be able to:
♦ share your feelings properly with others; and
♦ identify the benefits of sharing your feelings with others.

Let’s Think About This

What sorts of things do you keep to yourself? Why?

Every one of us keep some things to ourselves. This can either be because we are
ashamed of these things or we feel that others may not understand us.
Is it possible to share more of your thoughts and feelings with others?
Let’s find out.

Let’s Learn

Sharing your feelings and thoughts with others is called self-disclosure or self-
revelation. Many people are afraid to tell others what they think and feel which
sometimes result in conflicts.
But improper self-disclosure can also lead to conflicts. Self-disclosure,
therefore, should be done properly.

10
 Let’s Read

Read the dialog below.

Why do you always Why do I feel you underestimate

underestimate me? me sometimes?

I am not underestimating you! I’m sorry if I make you feel that way.

The way you disclose or reveal your feelings is important. It should be done
properly. In the first frame above the man revealed his feelings to the woman.
However, since he was angry and raised his voice, his self-disclosure was met with
anger too.
In the second frame, the man calmly disclosed his feelings, so his self-disclosure
was met with understanding.

Let’s Try This

Think about a time when you revealed or disclosed your feelings to another
person. Then answer the questions that follow.
1. What was your self-disclosure about?
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

2. How did you share your thoughts and feelings?

_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

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 3. Do you think it was the right time to disclose or reveal such thoughts and
feelings?
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

4. How did the other person react to your self-disclosure?

_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

5. Do you think what you did improved your relationship with that person?
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

The success of your self-disclosure depends on when and how you disclose your
feelings. Let’s find out more about this.

Let’s Learn

Here are some tips about self-disclosure that can most likely improve your
relationships with others.

I know I was rude.

1. Recognize your feelings. You
can share your feelings best when
you know what they are. The
thoughts or feelings you would
like to share should be very clear
to you.

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2. Share your emotions. Most emotions are “impure.” Each feeling is actually a
combination of many emotions that occur at the same time.
For example, Mike was in a
basketball game and he tripped, lost
his balance and fell to the ground.
Many people laughed at him including
his girlfriend.
How do you think Mike felt?
After the game, Mike got so mad at
his girlfriend. But he was also
embarrassed because he tripped and
many people saw it. He was also
disappointed with his girlfriend because he did not expect her to laugh. But she
didn’t know how he felt so he really can’t expect her to react the way he wanted
her to. Mike should have said something.

3. Speak clearly. When sharing your feelings, you should always speak clearly. We
should do so briefly and calmly.
Study what Jessa is saying below and answer the question that follows.

Uh, I guess what I’m trying to say is, that I

was pretty upset when I waited for you at the
place we set and you didn’t show up .

Write a better way to say what the girl said in the space provided below.
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________

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 Were you able to express what Jessa said in a simpler and clearer way?
It would have been better if Jessa simply said, “I got angry because you didn’t
show up, right?
Qualifying your feelings as in saying, “I’m a bit unhappy,” “I’m pretty
excited,” etc. can also confuse others. We do experience various degrees of
sadness and joy but overdoing it for fear of negative reactions is also bad.

4. Choose the best time and place.

When you choose to share your
feelings with another person, it’s
important to pick a proper time and
place. Speaking out when overcome
with a strong feeling such as anger is
often disastrous.

It’s always best to wait until you have carefully thought out how you will express
your feelings. You may just end up saying things that you will regret later.
Proper self-disclosure can be beneficial in that:
1. It can lead to better relationships with others.
More often than not, we share our feelings with people who do the same
with us. This promotes understanding and, in the end, better relationships with
others.
2. It can improve a person’s mental health.
Experts say that a person’s ability to share his/her feelings is actually a
measure of his/her mental health. The more you self-disclose, the healthier you
are. This is because it takes a great deal of energy to keep your feelings from
others which can even be stressful.
3. It can promote self understanding.
The more information you reveal to others, the more you get feedback from
them leading to a more heightened self-awareness.

14
 Let’s See What You Have Learned

Study the dialog below and answer the questions that follow.

Hey, Gina, you look really good! The next day . . . Lisa looked sad.

Thanks, Rey.

Why do you look so sad, Lisa? Are you sure?

Nothing. How will I tell you that
I’m jealous of you?

I have to go now.

15
 1. Why was Lisa sad?
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

2. Does Gina know why Lisa was sad? Why/Why not?

_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

Lisa was jealous of Gina because of the compliment that her boyfriend, Rey,
gave her. She couldn’t tell Gina how she felt because she was embarrassed to admit
that she was jealous. Gina on the other hand, was not aware of Lisa’s feelings and
became confused with her sudden change of attitude.
This is what happens when we are unable to express what we truly feel.
It would have been better if Lisa shared her true feelings with Gina so she could
understand and know what to do.
Did we have the same answers?

Let’s Remember

♦ Self-disclosure involves revealing your feelings and thoughts to others.

♦ When you disclose your feelings, you should:
– recognize your feelings;
– share your emotions;
– speak clearly; and
– choose the best time and place.
♦ Self disclosure can result in:
– better relationships;
– improved mental health; and
– self understanding.

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 LESSON 3

Relating to Others More Effectively

From the previous lessons, you discovered who you are and how you can share
more of your thoughts and feelings with others. With all of these in mind, we will
now try to discover how you can improve your relatonships with others.
After studying this lesson, you should be able to:
♦ explain the key principles in communication;
♦ identify common communication misconceptions;
♦ define what perception is;
♦ define what empathy is; and
♦ identify other behaviors that can help you build good relationships with
others.

There are many factors to consider if you want to relate better to others. These
include communication, perception and empathy. You will learn more about these as
you go along.

Let’s Study and Analyze

It is important to know that communication does not only refer to the things we
say or hear but also the things we show or see.
Read the dialog below.

Are you okay?

Yes, I am.

17
 Do you think the girl is really okay?
Notice that even if she said she was okay, her facial expression indicated she was
not.
Most of the time, people do not really mean what they say. We often hide our
true feelings for various reasons. Unfortunately, actions do speak louder than words.
There are so-called nonverbal messages.

Let’s Learn

What do you know about communication? Do you want to know more about it?
Why don’t you read on?
1. Communication can be both intentional or unintentional. Intentional
communication takes place
when we mean the things that
we actually say to other people.
Unintentional communication,
on the other hand, occurs when
we do the opposite of what we
say, give private remarks,
commit slips of the tongue,
etc. You may not be aware of
your sour expression, of
impatiently shifting in your
seat or sighing due to boredom,
etc. but others do notice them.

2. It is impossible not to communicate with others. Your facial expressions,

movements and other nonverbal
behaviors reveal that even if
you stop talking, you don’t stop Is she angry, okay
communicating. or just tired?

18
3. You cannot take back what you’ve already said. Have you ever experienced
saying something that you regretted later? Unfortunately, you cannot take back
what you’ve already said. Further explanations can clear up confusion or an
apology can ease a conflict. There are times, however no amount of explanation
can repair the damage you already created.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean what I said.

It’s okay but I’m not going back there

anymore. I think it would be better if I go
and stay somewhere else.

Let’s Try This

Write T if the statement is true and F if it is false in the blank before each
number.
____1. More communication is always better.
____2. Communication can solve all problems.
____3. Communication is natural for every one of us.

All the statements above are false. Why? Let’s find out.

19
 Let’s Learn

Misconceptions are wrong beliefs about certain things. Below are some of the
common misconceptions about communication and our relationships with others.
1. More communication is always better.
While not communicating We’ve talked about this
enough can cause problems, too a hundred times before.
much talking can also be a mistake.
Sometimes too much
communication is simply
unproductive.
There are times when too much
talk can even worsen a problem.
Sometimes not talking is the best
course. When two people are I know but nothing has changed!
feeling angry and hurt, for example,
they say things they do not mean
and will regret later. In such cases, it’s probably best to spend time cooling off,
thinking about what to say and how to say it.

Give an instance in which less communication may be a better course of action.

Why do you think so?
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________

2. Communication can solve all problems.

There are times when even the best-planned, best-timed form of
communication cannot solve a problem.
Read the following dialog on the next page for better understanding.

20
 Sir, I’d like to ask why I got such a low grade on the
project? I believe my project was a good one.

You’re right, it was

good, but it did not
clearly depict what we
discussed. It was a bit
unfocussed.

Did communication solve the student’s problem? Of course not.

Sometimes, communication can even be the root of the problem.

Look at this dress that I bought. It’s

quite expensive. How do I look?

I think it makes
you look fat.

What?

Would you have given the same opinion in a situation like this? Why/Why
not?
Think of your own experiences regarding situations like this.

3. Communicating with others is natural for us.

Unlike breathing, communicating well requires training and practice. Yes, we
can communicate without much formal training.However, most people
communicate at a level of effectiveness that is far from what they are capable of
doing.

21
 Let’s Try This

Look at the vertical lines in figures A and B. Are they of the same length? Is the
line in A longer than that in B? Or is it the other way?

A B

If you say that the line are of the same length, you are correct. At first glance,
however, the line in figure A may seem longer than the lines in figure B because of the
arrowheads
How can we relate this to communication?
Perceptions refer to our impressions of people and things. Your perception of
the lines is in a way similar to how you see or look at people. There are things that
keep us from finding out the truth about people. Some things distract us and cause us
to have a wrong perception. As a result, we tend to have a negative relationship with
other people. It is important to know about some common mistakes on perception.

Let’s Learn

Let us find out what the common mistakes in perception are.

1. You might be influenced by what is easily seen and understood.
We often notice what easily catches our attention. We only perceive
sometimes the obvious. The problem is that sometimes the obvious is not
necessarily important.

22
 Study this.

I really hate my
boss, I’m not
getting paid enough
and there seems to
be no hope of
getting a raise.

Has the guy studied his problem well enough? Why/Why not?
While the boss is the most obvious person to blame, there may be other
causes for his low salary. These include the overall economic situation and the
policies of the company. These factors are beyond the control of the boss.
It is therefore imperative for to the guy to gather all the facts first before
making any conclusions.

2. You may have been holding on to your very first impression.

The saying “first impressions last” is true most of the time but not always.
You should remember that we should never judge anyone.

Hey, do you know our new

neighbor, Raul Fernandez? Oh, yes, Aleta, I know him.
He seems nice at first but,
believe me, it’s all an act.

If you were Aleta, would you readily believe your friend?

23
 You shouldn’t. Your new neighbor may have changed since your friend first
met him or perhaps your friend’s judgment is simply unfair. Whether the
judgment is accurate or not, it will probably influence the way you respond
to your neighbor. You will look for instances of insincere behavior and
you will probably find some. You are likely to interpret his behavior based on
your expectations.
What would you do if your friend says this about a new member of your
barangay?

He seems nice but

maybe it’s just a front.

If a friend says the same thing to me, I will keep an open mind. I will be
willing to change my opinion as events prove that I am wrong.

3. Just like most people, you may be consciously or unconsciously favoring

negative impressions.
Research has shown that when people are aware of both the positive and
negative sides of a person, people tend to focus more on the negative side.
Sometimes, this attitude makes sense. If a person’s negative qualities
clearly outweigh the positive ones, then you should not ignore them. But most of
the time, it’s foolish to pay too much attention to the negative qualities and
overlook the good ones.
Read the dialog on the next page. Do you think Grace can easily build a
healthy relationship with others? Why/Why not?

24
 I can’t seem to find Some of the people that I meet are
really nice friends. either too reserved, too outgoing,
are not intelligent enough or have
What do you mean?
a strange sense of humor.

Perhaps you’re looking for a

perfect person. Well, you are
not likely to find one.

There is a saying that nobody is perfect. Trying to look for a perfect friend may
only cause you disappointment. Grace should learn to deal with different kinds of
people.

Let’s Try This

With so many factors leading us to make wrong perceptions, it is not surprising

that we often jump to the wrong conclusions when trying to make sense of other
people’s behaviors. Try this activity to boost your ability to make more accurate
interpretations of others’ behavior.
1. Identify a recent behavior of a friend or family member that annoyed you.
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

2. Give at least two possible reasons why your friend or family member
behaved that way.
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

3. Ask your friend or family member for feedback on which of your

interpretations is/are correct. This way you can give him/ her a chance to
explain and clarify the situation.
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

25
 Let’s Read

Lino is poor. But he has some rich friends. One day, he was invited by his
friends . . .

Bert, come on, let’s go out tonight. Why not?

I have to study.

I’msorry,
Ican’t.

Don’t worry about money,

Oh, come on, you always make excuses.
it will be my treat.

Sorry,
pare,I
really
can’t.

It’s not that, Pare. Guess I’ll just

come with you next time.

What possible reasons could Bert have for not going out with his friends? Write
your answers in the space below.
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________

There are many possible reasons why Bert does not want to go out with his
friends.
1. He has to study so as not to lose his scholarship.
2. He does not have any money and feels embarrassed having nothing to share
with his friends.

26
 Let’s Learn

Empathy is the ability to look at things from another person’s point of view.
When two people are angry with each other, they often fail to see each other’s point
of view. They can only think of their own reasons. Empathizing with someone means
understanding his/her perspective. This understanding requires suspending your
judgment, setting aside your own opinions and those of another.
So, how can you empathize with someone?
1. Open-mindedness
This entails being able to set aside your own values, beliefs and attitudes
and considering those of other people. Understand another person’s side,
however, does not mean you agree with him/her.
2. Imagination
You also need a vivid imagination to be able to picture another person’s
thoughts and feelings.
3. Commitment
Being empathic entails facing the challenges ahead. Once you decide to
become empathic, you can’t just stop.

Let’s View This

Watch the video supplement of this module. This tells us about a family who
moved to the province from Manila. It will show you the importance of and how to
go about bulding good relationships with others.
Now, play the tape.

27
 Let’s Learn

The video showed you the qualities that are important in building good
relationships with others. Let us discuss them in detail.

Hi, I’m Joan, are you in this class?

Friendliness — exerting effort to

get to know people and be nice to
them

Yes, I am. I’m Eva.

I have to go now, don’t want to be late.

Why not?
Respect — considering how others
will feel about your actions

Ric will be waiting for me. I don’t

want him to wait too long.

He’s still my friend even though

he annoys me sometimes.

Tolerance — being able to bear and

accept other people’s weaknesses

28
 I’m sorry about last night.
I didn’t mean what I said.

Conflict resolution skills — being able

to talk things over or resolve differences
with other people

It’s okay, I understand.

I’m
trying to
Coping skills — being able to adapt to be part
of the
different people and situations
group.

Let’s See What You Have Learned

Answer the following questions briefly.

1. What does Christy dislike about living and working in the barrio?
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
2. How did Christy initially deal with her co-teachers and neighbors?
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
3. How did her husband and daughter deal with the people in the barrio?
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
4. In the end, how did Christy try to build good relationships with her co-
teachers and neighbors?
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

Compare your answers with those in the Answer Key on page 33. Did you get the
correct answers? Watch the video again if you weren’t.

29
 Let’s Remember

♦ Bear in mind that to develop good relationships with others, you ned to be
friendly, respectful, tolerant, willing to resolve conflicts with others and
able to cope with difficulties.

Well, this is the end of the module! Congratulations for finishing it. Did you
learn anything useful from it? A summary of its main points is given below to help you
remember them better.

Let’s Sum Up

This module tells us that:

♦ Your self-concept is your perception of yourself.
♦ A person with a positive self-concept:
– accepts himself/herself;
– has self-confidence; and
– has a sense of security.
♦ Self-disclosure is the act of sharing your feelings and thoughts with others.
♦ Communication can be both intentional or unintentional.
♦ It is impossible not to communicate with others.
♦ Communication is irreversible (cannot be taken back or changed).
♦ More communication is not always best.
♦ Communication cannot solve all problems.
♦ Communicating with others comes naturally for everyone.
♦ Perceptions are our impressions of people and things.
♦ The common mistakes one makes in perceiving others include:
– being influenced only by what is are easily seen or understood;
– clinging to first impressions; and
– consciously or unconsciously favoring negative impressions.
♦ Empathy is the ability to understand another person’s perspective.
♦ To become empathic one should be:
– open minded;
– imaginative; and
– able to make a commitment.

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♦ In order to build good relationships with others, you should be:
– friendly;
– respectful;
– tolerant;
– willing to resolve conflicts; and
– cope with difficulties.

What Have You Learned?

Encircle the letter of the correct answer to each of the following.

1. Your self-concept refers to ____________.
a.how your relatives see you
b. how your family members see you
c. how you see yourself
d. how you see your family and relatives
2. A person with a healthy self-concept ____________.
a.accepts his/her weaknesses
b. accepts other people’s weaknesses
c. believes in his/her friends
d. is proud of his/her family
3. Which of the following is a social characteristic?
a.friendly
b. being a math wizard
c. being a bookworm
d. being a good basketball player
4. Which of the following statements about self-disclosure is not true?
a.You should disclose your feelings anytime you feel like it.
b. You should recognize and understand what your feelings are before
sharing them with others.
c. You should share how you feel with others.
d. None of the above
5. Self-disclosure can help us ____________.
a.know the negative characteristics of other people
b. create better relationships with others
c. share our thoughts and feelings with others
d. understand other people’s feelings

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 6. Which of the following statements about communication is true?
a. Communication is irreversible.
b. Communicating more is always best.
c. Communication can solve all problems.
d. Communicating with others comes naturally for everyone.
7. Communication can be unintentional because ____________.
a. our actions say more than we actually communicate
b. we may say things we do not really mean sometimes
c. we can have slips of the tongue
d. all of the above
8. When you deal with others, you should ____________.
a. rely on your first impression
b. focus on their negative characteristics
c. gather facts about them first before making judgments
d. all of the above
9. Empathy means ____________.
a. understanding another person’s perspective
b. asking another person to look at things from your perspective
c. showing concern for a sad friend
d. none of the above
10. In trying to improve your communication and interaction skills, you
should first ____________.
a. define your goal
b. practice with a friend
c. try out what you learned in real life
d. none of the above

Compare your answers with those in the Answer Key on page 34.
If you got a score of:
8–10 Very good! You have learned a lot in this module. You may proceed to
the next page.
6–7 Good! Just make sure you go back to the sections you made mistakes in.
0–5 Read the whole module again.

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 Answer Key

A. Let’s See What You Already Know (page 2)

1. F Your self-concept refers to how you see yourself.
2. F Your self-concept can be based on many different factors
depending on what you think is the most important.
3. F You should accept who you are first before you can accept other
people.
4. T Expecting too much of yourself, can lead to dissatisfaction.
5. F The way we see ourselves is not exactly the same as how others
see us.
6. T Perception refers to the way people see everything in their
environment.
7. F Self-disclosure should be done at the right place and at the right
time.
8. F Communication can be both intentional and unintentional.
9. T Empathy refers to the ability to see things from other people’s
perspective.
10. T You can understand yourself better when you tell others about your
thoughts and feelings.

B. Lesson 3
Let’s See What You Have Learned (page 29)
1. Christy does not like to live in the barrio because she and her family
have been used to urban living. She also feels a sense of “superiority”
over the people there. This is why, she does not want to mingle with
them.
2. In the beginning, Christy was aloof, she did not talk with her co-
teachers and neighbors much. She avoided interacting with them.
3. On the other hand, Christy’s husband and daughter readily developed
good relationships with others because they were friendly. Maila played
and made friends with the barrio kids while Ramon treated sick people
in the barrio.
4. In the end, Christy started interacting with the people around her. She
talked and made friends with them. She also joined in community
activities and school development programs.

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 C. What Have You Learned? (page 31–32)
1. (c) Self concept refers to your perception of yourself.
2. (a) Knowing and being able to accept who and what you are is a sign
of having healthy self-concept.
3. (a) Being “friendly” is a social characteristic because it has
something to do with how you relate to others.
4. (a) Self-disclosure should be done at the right place and at the right
time.
5. (b) When you tell others how you feel they are also likely to
share how they feel with you leading to a better relationship.
6. (a) What has already been said cannot be taken back.
7. (d) Our actions can communicate our feelings the same way our
whispers and slips of the tongue can be heard by others.
8. (c) We should not hastily judge the people we meet, we should
instead get to them better first
9. (a) Empathy refers to seeing things from other people’s
perspectives.
10. (a) You should know what you want to improve on.

Appendix

Building Relationships
Our story revolves around Christy, a teacher who had to move from Manila to the
rural area. The video shows how she struggled to build relationships with the new set
of people around her.
Characters
Christy A teacher
Ramon The husband of Christy
Principal 1 The principal in the school in Manila where Christy taught
Bimbo The son of Christy and Ramon
Ka Peping A carpenter
Sarah and Peter Bimbo’s friends
Lisa and Debbie Christy’s neighbors
Danny Ramon’s patient

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 Mrs. Padilla
Mrs. Lagman
Christy’s co-teachers
Mrs. Santos
Mrs. Perez
Barangay Captain Head of Christy’s barangay in the province
Aling Minda Christy’s barangay mate
Principal 2 The principal in the provincial school

This is Christy’s story . . .

I used to teach in a public elementary school in Manila. The school where I
taught was considered one of the biggest in the city. I have been teaching there for
five years. I was contented with the way things were going. Then I met my husband,
Ramon.

Principal 1: Oh, Chirsty, come in.

Christy: Ma’am, these are the grading sheets.
Principal 1: Thank you. By the way, this is my nephew, Ramon.
Christy: Hi, Ramon.
Principal 1: He’s leading the group of doctors who are vaccinating the students.
Christy: Really? It’s nice to meet you, Ramon.
Principal 1: Why don’t you lead Ramon to the school clinic.
Christy: Okay, shall we go now?
Ramon: Let’s go. Tita, we’ll go ahead.
Principal 1: Okay.

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 Soon after, Ramon and I became close. After a year of dating, we eventually got
married.
We had a son, Bimbo, who is now eight years old. One day, Ramon told me we
have to move to the province.

Ramon: Christy, I have been assigned to my hometown.

Christy: So, you’re going to be a barrio doctor now?
Ramon: Yes, I’m afraid we have to move there.
Christy: What do you mean, move there?
Ramon: We have to live there because I have been assigned to work there
indefinetly.
Christy: Ramon, I don’t want to live there. I don’t want Bimbo to be a
probinsiyano! That’s not the kind of life he’s used to. What kind of friends
will Bimbo have there? Bimbo is too intelligent to study in a rural school.
And I don’t want to teach in a rural school either.
Ramon: Christy, please try to understand, we have no choice. I’m sure there are
also good schools in the province where Bimbo can study and where you can
teach.
Christy: I don’t know.

Ramon eventually convinced me to move to the province. While I do not totally

agree with him, I felt that I had to support him. So, we settled in Ramon’s hometown.

36
 After a while, I got a job as a teacher in one of the province’s public elementary
schools.
We enrolled Bimbo in the same school where I will be teaching. If I were to
make the decision, I wanted him to study in a private school but Ramon’s decision
prevailed.
Compared to the school where I taught in Manila, the school had very few rooms
and teachers. Many of the students also came to class wearing only slippers! Having
been used to living and working in the city, it became apparent to me that I will have a
hard time coping.

I tried to shield Bimbo from acquiring the ways of the barrio kids. I prevented
him from playing with them.

37
 Bimbo: It’s your turn.
Sarah: Okay.
Christy: Bimbo, come on inside now.
Bimbo: Wait, Ma, I’m still playing.
Christy: Bimbo, don’t wait for me to go there!
Bimbo: I’m sorry, I have to go.
Sarah: It’s okay.
Bimbo: By the way, nice meeting you, Sarah. Bye!
Sarah: Nice meeting you too, Bimbo.

In school, I felt a sense of superiority over my co-teachers. Whenever a co-

teacher approached me, I acknowledge her but in my mind, I couldn’t wait to end the
conversation.
I remember doing this to Mrs. Padilla several times. Mrs. Padilla is the oldest
teacher in the school. She was almost of retirement age. She was a conventional
teacher.You certainly can’t teach her new tricks.

38
 Mrs. Padilla: Hi, Christy. I’m Estella, Estella Padilla, one of your co-teachers
here.
Christy: Hi. Ah . . . excuse me, I have something to do.

I even mocked her for not knowing about new educational techniques.

Mrs. Padilla: Christy, I’m going to Manila for a two-week training on how to
use a computer.
Christy: I think you should. In fact, I can’t believe you don’t know such basic
things. Even a child knows how to use a computer.
Mrs. Padilla: But . . . we never had the chance to learn how.

Many of my co-teachers found me irritating. They thought I was too proud to try
reach out to them. Well, I guess they were right. Even to my neighbors thought the
same thing.

Lisa: Hi, Christy, were you’re neighbors, we brought you something.

Christy: Thank you! Bimbo, bring this inside. Excuse me, I still have a lot of
things to do.

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 Even if I knew that my neighbors were only trying to be friendly, I didn’t care.
While I was getting notorious for being aloof and unapproachable, my son was
becoming more popular. His peers liked Bimbo a lot for being very down-to-earth and
friendly.

Bimbo: Hey, what are you two doing?

Sarah and Peter: Were picking wood.
Bimbo: Can I help?
Sarah and Peter: Yes but your hands might get dirty.
Bimbo: Oh, that’s okay.

But I continued to prevent him from playing with the barrio kids. I didn’t want him
to like them.

Sarah: Mrs. Bautista, is Bimbo home?

Christy: Yes, why?
Sarah: Can we invite him to attend my sister’s birthday party?

40
 Christy: Oh, I’m sorry but I do not allow Bimbo to go to faraway places.
Sarah: Ma’am, our house is just a street away.
Christy: Sorry, Sarah, Bimbo can’t come with you.

Ramon practiced his profession with great dedication. People came and looked
up to him. He helped, talked and visited them in their homes. Like Bimbo, Ramon was
popular.

Ramon: So, are you feeling all right now?

Danny: Yes, doc.
Ramon: Good.
Danny: Thanks a lot, doc.
Ramon: You’re welcome.

One day, Ramon and I had a serious talk . . .

41
 Ramon: Christy, the people around here have been telling me you have been
very unapproachable. They say you do not care to mix with them. They say
you have been very unfriendly.
Christy: I don’t think we fit in here. It’s just so different.
Ramon: Come on, I think the first thing you should do is change your attitude.
You’re isolating yourself from everyone, from your co-teachers, from our
neighbors.Yes, you are better than they, perhaps even the best but that’s no
reason for you not to make friends with them. In fact, you should mingle
with them, teach them what you know so you can build good relationships
with them.
Christy: I don’t know. I am not happy here. It’s a different world. I miss the city.
Ramon: You feel disappointed because you don’t like the people. Why don’t you
start looking at them from another perspective? Look, they’re trying to make
friends with you. You’ve already completed the first step. The next thing you
should do is interact with the people here. You should talk to them. They’re
nice people.
Christy: Okay, I’ll try my best to get along with them. I’ll try very hard. I really
will.
Ramon: I’m right behind you, you can do it.

When Ramon told me that I needed to change my attitude. I realized he was right.
I was isolating myself. I was making it difficult for myself. Now, I felt up to the
challenge of building better relationships.
I started greeting my co-teachers.

Christy: Good morning, Mrs. Santos.

Mrs. Santos: Oh, hi, Christy.
Christy: Do you have an afternoon class today?

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Mrs. Santos: No.
Christy: Have you eaten lunch?
Mrs. Santos: Not yet.
Christy: Why don’t we eat lunch together?
Mrs. Santos: Are you sure?
Christy: Yes, we haven’t really been talking much.
Mrs. Santos: Okay.
Mrs. Perez: Oh, Cynthia.
Mrs. Santos: Frida, have you eaten lunch?

At the school canteen, Mrs. Perez saw me and Mrs. Santos.

Mrs. Perez: Not yet.

Christy: Mrs. Perez, please join us.
Mrs. Perez: Is it okay with you?
Christy: Sure.

I also started complimenting my co-teachers.

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Christy: Wow! Mrs. Lagman, your haircut really suits you.
Mrs. Lagman: Really?
Christy: Yes, you look a lot younger.
Mrs. Lagman: Thanks!

I also had the chance to talk to Mrs. Padilla.

Mrs. Padilla: Christy, what are you doing here?

Christy: I’m just finishing my lesson plan.
Mrs. Padilla: Can I join you?
Christy: Sure.
Mrs. Padilla: Christy, it’s a good thing you are interacting more with the group
now.

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 Christy: Well, I must admit that I felt uneasy with the group at first. But I
realized that it will be better if I develop good relationships with them
Mrs. Padilla: At first, we thought you were very unapproachable. We thought
you looked down on us, that you were so much better than all of us since
you’re from Manila.
Christy: That was true but I’m sorry. I was wrong.
Mrs. Padilla: I’m glad you realized that, Christy. We know you are the best. We
want to learn from you. We forgive you and want to start anew.

They gave me new hope. I now looked forward to seeing them each day in school.
We even started some school and community projects.

We devised ways to improve our school and barangay. We sought the help of
politicians, rich individuals and private institutions. We became even closer and I
became close to my fellow barangay members as well .

45
Barangay Captain: Christy, thank you for exerting extra effort to help the
barangay.
Christy: You’re welcome, cap.
Aling Minda: We are just some of the many people who will benefit from the
deep well pump you helped put up.
Christy: I’m just glad to be of service to our community.
Aling Minda: Christy, I want to be honest with you. We thought you were a snob
before.
Christy: A lot of people thought so. That was true. But I have changed.
Aling Minda: If we can help you in any way, Christy, do not hesitate to ask us.
Ramon: Hey, I think you have adjusted well, you’re doing great!
Christy: Yes, I have. Thank you for encouraging me.

One day, I didn’t know I was in for a surprise.

Christy: Ma’am, you were asking for me?

Principal 2 : Yes, there are people here who would like to speak with you.
Christy: Oh, cap, good morning!
Barangay Captain: We brought you something.
Christy: Really?
Barangay Captain: We would like to give you this certificate of recognition for
your efforts to help our barangay.

46
 Christy: Oh, thank you very much! This is really a pleasant surprise. Thank you
very much. It was my pleasure to serve you.
Principal 2: Congratulations, Christy! Keep up the good work!
Christy: Thank you, sir.

Indeed, the pleasure was mine. It was a pleasure having the opportunity to teach,
meet and work with such nice people. If it were not for them, I would not have known
how it is to really reach out and build good relationships with others.

References

How to Grow a Friend. http://www.cyberparent.com/friendship/grow1.htm.

February 12, 2001, date accessed.
Setting Limits With Friends. http://www. cyberparent.com/friendship/limits.htm.
February 12, 2001.
Healthy Relationships With Others. http://www.startingpoint.org/art0698/
healthyr.html. January 17, 2001, date accessed.

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