Beethoven by Shane Koyczan

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Listen

his father

made a habit

out of hitting him

see

some men drink

some men yell

some men hit their children

this man

did it all

because I guess all men

want their boys

to be geniuses

Beethoven

little boy

living in a house

where a name meant nothing

living in a house

where mercy had to be earned

through each perfect note

tumbling up through the roof

to tickle the toes of angels


whose harps

couldn’t hold half the passion

that was held in the hands

of a young boy

who was hard of hearing

Beethoven

who heard

his father’s anthem

every time he put finger

to ivory

it was not good enough

so he played slowly

not good enough

so he played softly

not good enough

so he played strongly

not good enough

and when he could play no more

when his fingers cramped up

into the gnarled roots of tree trunks

it was

not good enough


Beethoven

a musician

without his most precious tool

his eardrums

could no longer pound out rhythms

for the symphonies playing in his mind

he couldn’t hear the audiences clapping

couldn’t hear the people loving him

couldn’t hear the women in the front row whispering

Beethoven

as they let the music

invade their nervous system

like an armada marching through

firing cannonballs

detonating every molecule in their bodies

into explosions of heavenly sensation

each note

leaving track marks

over every inch of their bodies

making them ache

for one more hit

he was an addiction
and kings/queens

it didn’t matter

the man got down on his knees

for no one

but amputated the legs of his piano

so he could feel the vibrations

through the floor

the man got down on his knees

for music

and when the orchestra played his symphonies

it was the echoes of his father’s anthem

repeating itself

like a brok-broken recor-brok-broken record

it was

not good enough

so they played slowly

not good enough

so they played softly

not good enough

so they played strongly

not good enough

so they tried to mock the man


make fun of the madness

by mimicking the movements

holding their bows

a quarter of an inch above the strings

not making a sound

it was

perfect

see

the deaf have an intimacy with silence

it’s there in their dreams

and the musicians turned to one another

not knowing what to make of the man

trying to calculate

the distance between madness and genius

realizing that Beethoven’s musical measurements

could take you to distances

reaching past the towers of Babylon

turning solar systems into symbols

that crashed together

causing comets to collide

creating crescendos that were so loud

they shook the constellations


until the stars began to fall from the sky

and it looked like the

entire universe

had begun to cry

distance must be an illusion

the man must be

a genius

Beethoven

his thoughts moving at

the speed of sound

transforming emotion into music

and for a moment

it was like joy

was a tangible thing

like you could touch it

like for the first time

we could watch love and

hate dance together

in a waltz of such precision and beauty

that we finally understood

the history wasn’t important


to know the man

all we ever had to do was

listen.

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