Personal Counselling Session Reflection Report

Introduction
The current report was written based on my personal experience of going through
counselling sessions as a client. In this report, I will start to present some background
information for the counselling sessions, next I will share about my experience being as a
client, followed by my personal learning from the current counselling experience, before
ending the report with a conclusion.
Background Information for the Counselling Session
Three counselling sessions were attended on 15/12/2021, 3/1/2022, and 15/1/2022

respectively, where the first two sessions were individual sessions, while the last session was
a couple session that I attended together with my husband. The first session lasted for one and
a half hours, while the last two sessions lasted for an hour. It was not my first counselling
session (as a client), but it was my first online counselling session. Although the idea of
attending counselling sessions initially came out from the purpose of meeting the course’s
requirement, I actually thought that it was an opportunity to deal with some internal conflicts
and unfinished business within me, which perhaps have been lasted for a while.
Experience being as a Client in Counselling Sessions
I recalled the first session started by filling up a consent form and some basic
information through Google Form prior to the counselling session. It felt quite strange
initially during the videocall, where it started by checking the clarify of speech and
counsellor asked “so what would you like to talk about?” I thought perhaps I was expecting
for some explanation of confidentiality (although it was already mentioned in the online
form), and it may make me feel more at ease if the counsellor could do a little bit of self-
introduction at the beginning of session.
Despite the unmatched expectation during the initial stage, the sessions went on quite
smoothly, where we were able to work on some issues in relating to my internal conflicts as
well as my relationship issue with my husband. What I appreciate about the counselling
session was the counsellor’s acceptance, where I guess simply the nodding and or saying that
“I know where you are coming from” gave me the impression that she was listening and what
I shared was being accepted. Also, she generally focused on the positive prospect of life
(without disregard the negative parts) and gave me a sense that changes are possible, which
had helped me to move away from the sense of helplessness. In addition, the knowledge that
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she shared, using the Satir-model, was helpful for me to understanding how growth is
possible for me and painted the positive outlook for life.
What surprised me was that, while I have been thinking that PCT is one of the
approaches that I prefer, I sensed that there were some feelings of frustration within me when
counsellor was nondirective during the first session. From the personal journal that I wrote
following the session, I actually hoped that she could be more directive and give clearer
instructions, instead of having me to ask for what I want; for example, I asked for ending the
session, and I felt the lacking of something without getting the summarization from her after
we had one and a half hours of conversation which covered a lot of things. I felt the need to
process my thoughts after the session and define my own goal for the counselling session.
Although I am not sure what was the counsellor’s guiding theoretical approach, according to
PCT, the counsellor’s non-directiveness maybe helpful in forcing me to have the sense for
self-directing, so that I could come out with my own goals (for both the counselling sessions
and life), and thus achieve personal growth.
At the same time, I found myself being distracted from the counselling process
sometimes, where I had the tendency to “assess” the counsellor by trying to observe what was
her theoretical approach, what was her rationale for saying something or how was she trying
to attend to me as a counsellor. This tendency was rather distracting and, in a way, creating a
barrier for trust building, where then I had to make a conscious effort for me to stop doing it.
Personal Learning from the Counselling Experience
From the counselling experience, I learned to look at my current behaviour of

becoming more anxious and worrisome with a different perspective. I used to dislike this part
of me, as I miss myself as someone who was more carefree in the past and I blamed this as
part of the negative consequences of my current living arrangement. During the session, the
counsellor talked about how changes in oneself occur from Satir’s point of view, where we
change as the following three aspects of our life change: self, others and environment. While
there are definitely changes in my environment in terms of my current living arrangement,
there are also two aspects of my life that had changed: self and others. The first aspect is the
change of myself, where my status had changed from single to now married with children.
The second aspect is the change of others around me, where my significant others had
changed from parents, boyfriend and friends to now parents, husband, daughter, and the
unborn baby. With so many changes in different aspects of my life, as well as the
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responsibilities that are coupled with these changes, my current behaviour is actually
unavoidable, and perhaps necessary to be part of my personal growth in my life journey. In
other words, it is perfectly normal for everyone to go through changes when we are going
through different stages and transitions in our life. I think this new perspective is helpful for
me to shift my focus away from blaming others or my current living arrangement, but
towards better acceptance of the current situation as well as myself.
Another discovery on myself during this counselling process is that I realized that I
actually still have not reached a closure for the grievances that I had went through, which I
thought I did. While I stop the behaviour of complaining my grievances towards my friends
or family as I thought this is a rather unhelpful behaviour and I thought that I had somehow
reached a closure as I could view the experiences from different perspectives, I found myself
still have so much to say whenever I have the opportunity, such as during the role play
sessions in class or personal counselling sessions. Also, I found myself defensive when I was
offered suggestions by the counsellor on how I should change the way I perceive my
experiences, which may help me in dealing with my emotions better and reaching my goal of
wanting to reach a state of congruency. This realization brought me to think about what are
the actual changes that I hope to see, whether internally or externally, so that I will be able to
let go? Or rather, am I actually aiming to let go and move on, or am I actually aiming to
remain the status quo in order to stay comfortable with myself, despite my thought that I
should learn to let go? I learned that change is something that is so much easier to be said,
than be done.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I think the current counselling experience was a valuable experience

where it had allowed me to revisit my personal issues as well as to attempt a couple
counselling. To be honest, I am still not able to find a resolution or achieve a state that I want
after these three sessions; yet, I guess it will be a continuous learning journey for me to
explore and find an answer, and what is more important for me is to remain open. At the
same time, the opportunity of playing the role as a client reminded me that I am also a human
being who has my own emotions and struggles, and being able to accept myself perhaps is
one of the important first steps before I could become a counsellor who is able to show
acceptance, genuineness and empathy towards others.

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Introduction

Background Information for the Counselling Session

Three counselling sessions were attended on 15/12/2021, 3/1/2022, and 15/1/2022

Experience being as a Client in Counselling Sessions

Personal Learning from the Counselling Experience

From the counselling experience, I learned to look at my current behaviour of

In conclusion, I think the current counselling experience was a valuable experience

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