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Confessions XI

The document describes how as a child the author would get upset and quit games if rules were not followed exactly, seeking to control the games and their siblings. Over time they learned that the purpose of games is to have fun together rather than rigidly follow rules.

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20 views1 page

Confessions XI

The document describes how as a child the author would get upset and quit games if rules were not followed exactly, seeking to control the games and their siblings. Over time they learned that the purpose of games is to have fun together rather than rigidly follow rules.

Uploaded by

sopiced262
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Father God, thank you, you gave me a wonderful life.

You died so that I would no longer


be dead in my sin. God, sometimes I still feel dead, a zombie pretender amongst the men. I still
wrestle with my sin.

I was born to Christian parents, and I grew up with a strong sense of right and wrong.
Unfortunately, that strong sense wasn’t always correct, but sometimes aligned with my worldly
desires. I felt like anything that didn’t align with my definition of right was something I needed
to correct. That category was most often supplied by my sibling’s actions.

These control issues came out a lot when we played games. Whenever we would play a
board or card game, I would be fine until someone wanted to change a rule or make an
exception, or even did something I didn’t like. Then, I would quit. I would make everyone feel
like they were the problem for merely trying to have more fun.

My parents made a rule in our house, mostly because of me, that if someone quit a
game, they had to pay everyone in the game two dollars. To my child-brain, two dollars was
everything. That was two percent of one hundred dollars – the highest amount of money ever!

But instead of learning my lesson, I sought out ways to cheat the system. I decided to
change tactics. I began to make the games miserable by whining and complaining and straight-
up bullying everyone until they decided to quit.

It never occurred to me that I neither was getting paid, or really getting my way. All I
knew was that I had “power”. The truth was that I was bullying my siblings, and I didn’t know
how little power I held. I had felt justified in my actions at first, but over the next few months,
people stopped inviting me to play with them, and started turning me down when I offered.

Some might say that I was trying to do the right thing, to make sure the rules were
followed. But I had no true authority to enforce those rules, and the point of games is for
people to have fun. By prioritizing the rules over the time with my siblings, I was missing the
point.

By your grace, God, I learned how to have fun and be fun. I started to be more
comfortable with people changing the rules, and understanding why they did it. I used to think
the point of games was to follow the rules, and you could only have fun if you followed them
exactly, but I realized the point was to spend time together, and that was how you have fun.

Thank you, God, for showing me the error of my ways. Thank you for showing my
parents how to best handle my sin, and for making my siblings willing to ignore me for a while.
Although I may have been unhappy then, you did what would help me the most. Thank you,
God, for saving me from that sin, and help me with all my current and future sins.

Amen.

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