Second in Command

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DUTCH SHEETS and

CHRIS JACKSON
SECOND
- in -
COMMAND
Developing Next Generation
Leaders of Excellence
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© Copyright 2005—Dutch Sheets and Chris Jackson
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ENDORSEMENTS
For the church to succeed we must empower the next genera-

tion to reach its fullness in Christ while yet offering a safe environ-
ment to grow in. Chris Jackson and Dutch Sheets model the
joining of the generations in ministry, lifestyle, and now in this
potent book! Filled with wisdom, faith, and transparency, Second in
Command is a must-read for all emerging leaders!
James W. Goll
Cofounder of Encounters Network
Author of The Seer, The Lost Art of Intercession,
and The Coming Prophetic Revolution
The quality of a person’s life and ministry is often determined

by the advisors and confidants he allows to speak into his life. Being
second in command is not a statement of importance, but of func-
tional order. Chris and Dutch offer a much-needed discussion on
this vital but all too often neglected subject. It would behoove us all
to read it and bestow a greater honor to all those called of God to be
Second in Command.
Norm Willis
Senior Pastor of Christ Church Kirkland
Author, Speaker
It takes a certain “grace” to be second in command. It is not

for wimps! Knowing how to navigate safely with the key leader
through issues of loyalty amid different vision, trust during life’s
storms, and honesty in the changing seasons of ministry are a must
for Christian servant-leaders today! Paul said, “through love serve
one another” (Gal. 5:13). This book helps both support and key
leaders know how to work out that love in the ministry among
leaders on a day-to-day basis.
Dr. Stan Fleming
Gate Breaker Ministries
Author, Pastor
How encouraging to hear the hearts of a true spiritual son and

a true spiritual father! This outstanding book by Pastor Chris Jack-
son and his spiritual father, Pastor Dutch Sheets, will provide the
Body of Christ with insight and encouragement concerning the suc-
cessful passing of leadership mantles from one generation to the
next. Here you will find both principles to learn and warnings that
must be overcome in the transfer process. This book underscores the
truth: True success in ministry includes succession!
Dr. Jim Hodges
President, Federation of Ministries
and Churches International
This wonderful book breaks the mold. Doesn’t everyone want

to be “Number One”? Not if God gifts and calls you to be Number
Two! Chris Jackson has the realism, the humility, and the personal
security needed to be able to explain, clearly and concisely, how his
destiny, like John the Baptist’s, is to make certain that his leader
(Dutch Sheets) flourishes, prospers, and succeeds. I cannot recom-
mend this book enough!
C. Peter Wagner
Chancellor, Wagner Leadership Institute
4
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7
1. Second in Command . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13
2. Worth Their Weight in Gold . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19
3. Number One in Number Two . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .29
4. But I’m Called, Too! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .41
5. The Way of the Leader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .51
6. The Manure and the Mud . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .63
7. The Priority of the Presence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .73
8. Focus on the Family . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .85
9. I Own This Thing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .97
10. Proverbs for the Right-Hand Man . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .105
11. I Kissed Him! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .117
12. If Only You Were in Charge . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .127
13. Tell Me Your Dreams . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .135
14. The Fingerprint of God . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .143
15. The Next Generation Leader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .149
5
SECOND - in - COMMAND
16. Mentoring the Next Generation Leader—

Part 1 (Dutch Sheets) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .157
17. Mentoring the Next Generation Leader—
Part 2 (Dutch Sheets) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .165
6
INTRODUCTION
It was raining.It was cold.I was beginning to cry.I was 12 years old,
and my first day on the paper route had undone me.
I had wanted so badly to prove that I could handle the route.My dad
doubted my ability to manage the responsibility at such a young age and it
was only with a begrudging consent that he allowed me to take the job at
all.He felt that the task would be too overwhelming for a lone 12 year old.
He was right.
Just five houses into my route and I was ready to quit.The rain had
soaked the newspapers until they unraveled and began to go limp. I was
struggling to stay balanced on my bike with their increasing weight.
When I fell, my pants tore and the papers spilled onto the slippery
street. I saw blood from a cut on my hand and then I realized that I had
lost the route’s logbook—I didn’t know which way to go next. I crawled to
a darkened doorstep, sat down, and wept.
That’s when I heard it. A bicycle chain rattled as a large figure
loomed into view. It was my father! He had come looking for me in the
rain.He had followed me on his own bike and was coasting in to my defeat.
He wasn’t angry at me. He just sat down beside me and said,“Why
don’t we tackle this together?”We found the logbook (about three feet from
where I had fallen),and then we gathered the papers,remounted our bikes,
and finished the route side-by-side.
7
At the time I was just glad that he showed up. It wasn’t until years
later that I began to wonder why he didn’t come in our car.The family sta-
tion wagon was plenty big for a bike and a soaking, 12-year-old boy.Why
did he ride his bike in the rain? I think the answer is very simple.I think he
was modeling Jesus to me. I think he wanted to meet me right where I was
and teach me to succeed in the real world. He was teaching me about true
leadership.
Had he tossed me and my wet newspapers in the front seat of our
warm car I would have thanked him and then promptly quit the newspaper
business. By riding beside me in the pre-dawn fog and teaching me how to
throw the papers just right,he instilled courage and tenacity in me.He also
set me up for a lucrative career-at least it seemed lucrative to a 12 year
old—as a paper delivery boy.
✦✦✦✦✦
What a story! What an experience for a future leader. The man

who told it during one of our Sunday morning church services is a
seasoned leader with a track record of excellence. His dad imparted
something of extreme value to him that day—an understanding that
our heavenly Father is passionately committed to our victory.
Do you know that to be true? Do you know that God wants to
come into your leadership experience and teach you to throw your
newspapers just right? He wants to instill courage and tenacity in
you. He loves you! He’s pedaling toward you right now. He wants you
to succeed in your leadership endeavors. That’s why I’m writing this
book—to strengthen God’s leaders.
I am a student of leadership. I love to read leadership books, I
love to observe leaders and I love to lead. My goal in this writing,
however, is not to simply add another volume to the vast compilation
of leadership books that are available today. I’m after a specific niche
of leadership. My sights are aimed at the second in command. I want
to strengthen leaders who serve leaders.
Do you know you’re worth your weight in gold? You might not
hear that enough so I’d like to say it again. You are needed! You are
indispensable to your organization.
8
Introduction
You carry the weight of your company as if you owned it. You
serve. You support your senior leader. It’s far more than a job to
you—it’s a calling. Some people may not realize the weight that you
carry. But I do. I feel like I know you.You’re the second in command—
and you’re worth your weight in gold.
You wouldn’t be in your current position unless you were
highly motivated and gifted. Although you serve another leader, you,
yourself, are a high-level leader. Your hand is on the pulse of your
company.You have the ability to wear a dozen hats at once.You could
probably run your own organization. In fact, you might some day.
You’re a blessing.
We need you! Your organization needs you!
In your breast beats a loyal heart.Your senior leader trusts you.
Your senior leader leans heavily on you. In fact, you’re probably one
of his most valuable players. The level of his success will largely be
determined by you.
Did I mention that you’re worth your weight in gold?
If you do your job well, your entire organization will pros-
per, your senior leader will look good, and the people you lead
will be secure.
You’re a leader. But you’re a leader who serves another leader.
I’m writing to encourage you.
I’m writing to serve you as you become everything that the
Lord has called you to be in your current position.
This book is designed to be a resource for both associate and
senior leaders. It will provide a very transparent, in-depth study of
both the great challenges and the great rewards associated with the
position of the right-hand man or woman. It will serve to encourage
and equip associate leaders to handle the unique challenges that are
specific to their calling. It will assist them to fulfill Olympic-caliber
excellence in that calling while avoiding the pitfalls, snares, and out-
right demonic attacks that are waged against them. It will also pro-
vide senior leaders with a glimpse into the souls of their associates
9
and offer them a fresh understanding of how to minister grace to

those they lead.
I want to encourage you and empower you to be a world-class
leader in whatever capacity the Lord has called you to. He’s proud of
you. He loves you. He knows the challenges you face. He’s not obliv-
ious to the realities that face the right-hand person. In fact, major
portions of the Bible are devoted to the study of assistant leaders.
Joseph was a career right-hand man and yet all of Egypt trem-
bled at his words. Elisha was never known as anything other than the
man who “poured water on the hands of Elijah” and yet he per-
formed twice as many miracles as Elijah.
For great churches and businesses to be built in a way that they
truly touch the world with the heart of God, there will need to be
many men and women who are content to embrace the middle man-
agement crunch. Every senior leader needs an army of helpers and
an unwavering right-hand man.
Leonard Bernstein was once asked which position in an orches-
tra was the most difficult to fill. After a moment’s reflection he said
confidently,“Second fiddle. It’s easy to find people who want to play
the lead, but to find someone who is content to play second fiddle
with excellence and enthusiasm, now that is a rare find.”
If you are called as a career right-hand man or woman, I want
to serve you in fulfilling your role to the best of your God-given
talents and abilities. I want to push you toward a Joseph-like great-
ness in your calling. God doesn’t need you to be in charge to use
you greatly.
There are some associate leaders, though, who know that they
are ultimately destined to serve in the senior leadership position.
They are Joshuas; they have begun as assistants but they know that
they are destined to be leaders of mighty organizations.
If you’re in a second-in-command position and yet you know
that God is grooming you to be the senior leader someday, I want to
strengthen you in that process. I want to help you be a Joshua. I want
to see the mantle of leadership successfully transferred from your
10
Introduction
senior leader to you. I hope you go farther than he ever dreamed of

going. I hope you represent him well.
Although I am a pastor and I deeply desire to see my fellow
pastors blossom as leaders, I’m not writing solely to clergy. I was a
businessman before I was a pastor and I am convinced that business
is on the mind of God in this hour of history.
In fact, if He is shouting one phrase from Heaven, it is probably
the phrase “marketplace ministry.” Everywhere I go I hear about it.
Every guest speaker who visits our church talks about it. There
seems to be a strong consensus that the coming move of God will be,
indeed must be, a move of God in the marketplace.
For the full will of God to be done in the earth in this hour,
there must be a release of trained and trusted men and women of
God into the marketplace. Business leaders must never be over-
looked or marginalized.You are crucial for God’s agenda to be served
in our culture and society!
I’m a pastor in a local church, but you may be a pastor in the
marketplace. Whether or not you derive your paycheck from a local
church or from the profit of a business, one thing is clear: Leaders
are in high demand, and leaders with godly character and excellence
are an even rarer find.
Let’s be those leaders. Let’s grow together through this study of
leadership development. Let’s be like David who “served the purpose
of God in his own generation” (Acts 13:36).
So carry on, leader! Your boss needs you. Those you lead need
you. The Kingdom of God needs you.
Did I mention that you’re worth your weight in gold?
11
I am more afraid of an army of 100 sheep led by a lion than

an army of 100 lions led by a sheep.
-Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord
A leader is a dealer in hope.
-Napoleon I
People ask the difference between a leader and a boss.The

leader leads, and the boss drives.
-Theodore Roosevelt
A leader is best
When people barely know he exists.
Not so good
When people obey and acclaim him.
Worse when they despise him.
But of a good leader
Who talks little
When his work is done,
His aim fulfilled, they will say “We did it ourselves.”
-Lao Tse
c h a p t e r o n e
SECOND IN COMMAND
I never saw it coming. I’m glad it

happened, but I was completely
unprepared for it. I had planned
to soak in the sun and escape from the pressures of college, athletics,
and work—I never anticipated a life change. My highest ambition
that day was to slowly tan my skin to a deep bronze color—I never
expected to encounter my destiny.
It was such a simple question. I’m not sure why she asked it
and I still can’t believe it changed my life forever. We weren’t dis-
cussing religion, and God wasn’t anywhere near the proximity of my
thoughts that day.
I was hurting. My dating relationship with this young woman
was rapidly deteriorating. In my first year of college, I was already a
hollow man.
I’m so glad she asked the question.
“If you say you’re a Christian, why don’t you ever talk about
God?”
What? What kind of a question was that? Where in the world
did that originate? How dare she? Of course I was a Christian! I was
saved at five years old. I attended a Christian school for ten years. I
had preached in youth groups, my home church, and churches in
Mexico a few summers prior. Of course I knew God.
13
“If you say you’re a Christian, why don’t you ever talk about
God?”
Because, I realized, I have nothing to say.
I don’t remember if my skin tanned that day. I don’t remember
exactly when our relationship died. I remember that I encountered
Him! A simple question from a young college student had awakened
eternity in my soul. If I was, why didn’t I?
From that sunburnt moment on I determined that I was, and
that for the rest of my life, I would. Thirteen years later, I’m
beginning to.
Oh, I’ve been talking about God for a long time, but I’m finally
carrying a message from Him. It’s been an ugly process to get here.
It just about killed me. Perhaps that was His intent all along.
My calling to leadership was awakened that day. Of course it
was years before I could be trusted to lead in any significant capac-
ity, but the seed of leadership had finally broken through the soil of
my heart and I knew that God had an assignment for me to fulfill. I
also knew that I would only find the fulfillment of that assignment
in His presence.
For every Christian leader this is the case. I hope you heard me
correctly. I said for every Christian leader not church leader. Christian
leaders—in every sector of society—come to life in God’s presence.
They derive their sense of purpose and significance from Him. They
are limited in where they can draw strength and resources. They
can’t survive long on charisma or personal determination and disci-
pline. They must have Him.
Fortune 500 companies can be built on the strength of a man,
but the Kingdom of God never can. Fortunes can be won and lost
and won again by the guts and tenacity of determined men and
women, but to build a lasting legacy of eternal fruit, we must have a
divine touch on our lives. To maximize the potential that God has
placed within us we must attach the roots of our lives to a source
much deeper than our own gifts and talents. We must be cloaked
with a grace and anointing that comes from the very breath of God.
14
Second in Command
The Lord is longing to so cloak us. He places a tremendous

value on His leaders. In fact, I think that the words of Malachi are
descriptive of His heart for His leaders. He said:
Then those who feared the Lord spoke to one another, and the
Lord gave attention and heard it, and the book of remembrance
was written before Him for those who fear the Lord and who
esteem His name.“And they will be Mine,” says the Lord of
hosts,“on the day that I prepare My own possession [special
treasure]…” (Malachi 3:16-17a).
I realize that this Scripture doesn’t specifically address leaders,
but it certainly includes them. You need to know that the Lord takes
note of your service. He has seen the price that you’ve paid. He
rejoices in your triumphs and He is there to carry you in your
defeats. He is not indifferent to the challenges that leaders face. He is
especially aware of the challenges that confront associate leaders. I’m
aware of them, too.
I am a right-hand man. I serve a great leader. It is an honor to
serve him and I deeply appreciate the mentoring that I receive from
our relationship. I’m fulfilled in the leadership opportunities that are
afforded to me. I’m learning and I’m growing and I want to please
the Lord in my service. I want to serve my leader as if he were Jesus.
I’m very grateful.
Sometimes, though, I’m miserable. Sometimes the question
arises in my heart: “What about me?” You see, although I love my
senior leader, I’m called too. I’m trying my best to do a great job as
the right-hand man, and yet I have some specific leadership dreams
and desires that God has placed in my heart too. I deeply desire to
obey Jesus’ declaration that says that the greatest in the Kingdom of
Heaven are those who serve. I am a servant and it is indeed an honor
to serve; however, I know He has called me to lead too.
Does this sound a little too carnal to you? Does it sound self-
seeking? Shouldn’t I just be happy to serve? Probably. Sometimes I
am. But sometimes I’m also ready to lead.
There is a tremendous value within the right-hand man—and,
as you well know, there are tremendous challenges that face him. As a
15
leader who serves another leader you need to have great wisdom to
navigate the challenges.
What are some of these challenges? Here are a few that you may
have experienced.
1. You’re in charge but you’re not in charge. You’re
empowered but you don’t have the final say. How do you
exercise all of your authority while remaining under
authority?
2. You can wonder if your calling is on hold while you
serve another man’s vision.
3. How do you relate with the senior leader’s spouse?
How do the two of you navigate the crossroad of confu-
sion about your roles and responsibilities?
4. Sometimes you can be tempted to disloyalty. How do
you effectively lead your team without ever pulling their
loyalty away from the senior leader? Those under you can
develop utopian feelings about your leadership ability.
Some of the most dangerous words that a right-hand man
can hear are the words: “If only you were in charge.” I’m
sure Absalom heard a steady stream of those words before
he stole the kingdom from his father, David.
5. How do you prepare for the day that you are transi-
tioned into a senior leadership role? What are the prac-
tical steps to ensure that the transition is successful?
6. What do you do if you are more gifted than your sen-
ior leader? By the way, if he is a wise leader, he will have
staffed his weaknesses with you. Consequently, you will be
more gifted than he is in certain areas. How then do you
maximize your abilities and talents without ever usurping
him?
7. What if you follow (as in my case) a nationally known
leader who carries a great following of respect, love,
and admiration? How do you lead without succumbing
to intimidation and fear?
16
Second in Command
8. How can you carry all of your never-ending responsi-

bilities while still maintaining a commitment to per-
sonal growth?
9. How do you relate to visionary leaders?
10. How do you resist the demonic attacks that are lev-
eled at you as the right-hand person?
11. How do you lead and preserve the health of your
family?
12. How can you discern the Lord’s master plan in the
midst of your leadership development?
13. And above all, how can you honor the Lord in your
current position? It is in response to these questions that
this book is written.
My desire is to wrestle through these issues and answer these
questions with you.
I want to offer a quick remark to any female readers. Through-
out this book I primarily employ the use of masculine gender pro-
nouns when referencing both senior and associate leaders. This is in
no way intended to minimize the incredible value and strength of
female leaders. A wonderful aspect of what the Lord is doing in our
generation is an honoring and recognition of female leaders. You
carry a unique and wonderful aspect of the nature of God that the
world can only see through you. Your role as a leader should never be
marginalized or overlooked!
So let’s begin. I think we should start with a little eavesdrop-
ping. There is a conversation occurring that contains truth to start us
on our journey.
17
Trust men and they will be true to you; trust them greatly, and
they will show themselves great.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only real training for leadership is leadership.
-Anthony Jay
Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to out-
grow small ones.

c h a p t e r t w o
WORTH THEIR
WEIGHT IN GOLD
“Why can’t the king see it? Why

does David still trust him? Joab is
a traitor and a murderer!” The
young man lowered his voice and continued his tirade more softly to
himself:“What a shameful excuse for a leader.”
His older companion had been eyeing him carefully as this
young, newly promoted soldier railed on the commander of David’s
army. The young man’s outrage was understandable. Just last month,
Joab had murdered the king’s son. True, Absalom had done the
unthinkable. He had betrayed his father, David, and stolen the king-
dom from him, but it was still appalling that Joab had killed him in
cold blood as he hung from the branches of a tree.
“Joab has done a terrible job leading the army. He is a disgrace
to the people of Israel.”
The old observer looked at him thoughtfully and interjected
gently,“So you were promoted today?”
“Yes. I was commissioned just this morning,” the young officer
said with a touch of pride.
“Where will you be serving?”
19
“I have been assigned to serve as the second in command to

Abishai, the brother of Joab. I am on my way to consult with him
right now.”
“What a wonderful opportunity for you,” said his friend, with
the smile of a pleased father. Then he continued.“I only hope you’re
half the leader that Joab has been.”
Stunned, the young man looked at his mentor with confused
and questioning eyes:“What did you say?”
“Joab has been one of the greatest leaders of Israel’s history. A
scrutiny of his life could be one of the most beneficial ways for you
to begin your new assignment. Oh, I know that he has betrayed
David. Believe me I know. He betrayed him worse than Absalom ever
did. Absalom only took the kingdom from David. Joab took his son
from him. There’s no greater betrayal than what Joab did and surely
retribution will some day be served, but what I said is still truth.
Joab is a world-class leader.”
“I’ve never heard you speak such foolishness. Did you call me
here to waste my time with this?”
“I invited you here to share some lessons that will save your
leadership career if you heed and apply them. If you would truly
serve Abishai and be used of the Lord to strengthen our nation, you
must hear me out. Serving leaders is not easy. Indeed, second-in-
command leaders, as you referenced yourself, have short life
expectancies. They are targeted by the enemy. They are squeezed,
sometimes mercilessly, between the senior leader and the people.
They carry a tremendous amount of weight and responsibility. Lead-
ers themselves, they must be content to serve. Are you sure you can
handle the temptations to power and the fleshly desire to be number
one? Are you confident that you can carry your leader’s heart in such
a way that you please Jehovah Himself? Son, please sit. Hear me
out.”
“Sir, I am very short on time.”
“I will be brief.”
The young man sat impatiently as his friend continued.
20
Worth Their Weight in Gold
“Did you know that Joab was one of King David’s comrades in
the cave of Adullam when he was fleeing from King Saul? I know
you would hardly know it today, but there was a time when Joab was
a living picture of discouragement and despair. He was one of those
distressed, indebted souls who made their way to Adullam when
David was a heartbroken fugitive.
“One of the greatest accomplishments that Joab has to his
credit is that he survived Adullam. He overcame great personal loss
and tragedy to become the chief commander of all the armies of
Israel.
“Have you heard how he became the chief of the army?”
“No.”
“David had a simple way of identifying leadership among his
soldiers. As they faced the enemy host of the Jebusites, David said,
‘The first man to strike down and kill a Jebusite will be the com-
mander of the army.’ Joab went up first. He struck his man down and
returned to the camp as a leader of men.
“Second-in-command leaders must be men of courage and
faith. The last thing David needed was a timid man who required
constant prodding and coaching and encouragement. He wanted a
self-starting warrior of initiative. He found that in Joab.”
“That’s an interesting way to select a leader.”
“Yes, but effective. By using that particular test of leadership,
David was ensuring that the new leader would have the respect of
the men he would lead. Respect is crucial for success in leadership.
Men respect men who lead by example. It’s easy to give a command
to go fight, but it’s an entirely different thing to personally lead your
troops into the fray.”
“And Joab did that?”
“He still does. He’s known for it. He has always personally led
his men into battle. Now that he’s getting a little older he receives
some criticism for it, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.
21
“His presence brings security. His men never wonder where he

is because he’s right there in front of them. He has bled with them.
He has cried with them. He has carried some of them off of the bat-
tlefield at risk to his own safety. Some of them have saved his life.
They love him.”
“That is an admirable quality for a general of his standing.”
“It is indeed. And the amazing thing is that he doesn’t need to
do it anymore. No one would fault him if he stayed behind. Joab is a
master strategist. He has pulled off impossible victories and rescues
so many times now that he is renowned for his skill in the art and
science of war.
“Joab has filled David’s leadership role when the king was
absent from the army. At the most crucial of moments in a battle,
David has often deferred to Joab. He has always trusted that Joab
would come through.”
“I never said that he wasn’t a good general. He has always done
well on the battlefield. It’s his interactions with David that are so
inappropriate.”
“What interactions? Do you mean the fact that he confronted
David after the death of Absalom?”
“Well, yes, for one. King David was grieving the death of his
son—slain by Joab himself—when Joab rebuked him for it. That was
the height of insensitivity and arrogance.”
“On the contrary, it was the height of sensitivity. Joab wasn’t
thinking about David at that moment. (You do realize, don’t you, that
sometimes the needs of the leader must defer to the needs of the
people?) David’s grief over Absalom was a slap in the face to the men
who gave their lives to see his kingdom restored. When David pub-
licly wept for his traitorous son, the glow of victory in his men
turned to the pallor of shame and defeat.
“Joab saved David’s kingdom that day. He said, in essence,‘You
have disgraced yourself and your men by your actions today. If you
don’t summon your resolve and go bless your people, you’ll lose their
22
hearts by nightfall. If this happens, it will be worse than anything

that happened to us while we were hunted like dogs at Adullam.’
“That wasn’t the only time that Joab confronted David. He was
never afraid to risk his own position for the sake of speaking the
truth. He was never flippant or casual about it, but he was willing to
do it. Sometimes truth needs to be spoken.”
“How do you know when to confront your leader? I agree that
David risked offending his men, but how do you know when the sit-
uation warrants a confrontation?”
“That’s a great question, and again, it is Joab who demonstrates
the answer. He only confronted David when it was in the best inter-
ests of David himself or the people whom David led. He never con-
fronted him over issues of personal opinion and he didn’t do it
casually as a peer or an equal. He appealed to him. He entreated him.
He was always respectful but he did it nevertheless.
“There were several times when Joab appealed to David and
was rebuffed. When this occurred, Joab submitted. He was obedient
even if he strongly disagreed with the mandate.”
“Tell that to Abner! Didn’t Joab deceive and murder him in
broad daylight immediately after David had made peace with
Abner?”
“Yes, Abner was Joab’s downfall. Abner had murdered Joab’s
little brother, Asahel, and Joab could never forget it.”
“How then do you say he was a world-class leader?”
“Because his leadership was not defined by a single moment—
and neither will yours be. Joab’s leadership legacy has been defined
throughout a lifetime of faithful service to David.
“He knew David’s heart. He deferred to David’s leadership.
He always sought the best interests of his former cave-dwelling
king. When David should have been at war at Rabbah, Joab
responded with grace and wisdom. Do you remember the battle at
Rabbah? Joab had defeated the army, and the men wanted to place
the crown of the vanquished king on Joab’s head (his rightful due as
23
the conquering general). Rather than taking the credit for himself,
Joab contacted David (who had shamed himself with Bathsheba)
and told him to come receive the crown of their enemy.
“This point should be reiterated: Joab knew the strategic
moments when David needed to be seen. Joab was fully competent
to lead the people and yet he knew when it was appropriate (for both
the people and David) for the king to appear on the scene.
“He wasn’t in it for personal ambition or glory. I know it
appears that he was since he took matters into his own hands on sev-
eral occasions (like with Absalom and Abner) but he felt that he was
doing what was best for David.”
At this last statement, the young officer shifted uncomfortably.
“In no way am I condoning any of Joab’s actions.”The old sage
continued quickly. “Joab is deceived. As I said a moment ago, I fear
that retribution and revenge will come back on Joab’s own head
before he fulfills his days; however, I do believe that deep within his
heart, Joab thinks he is serving the king.
“Deception is deadly. I think the seed of it was sown in him
when his brother fell to Abner’s spear. Joab never healed and that
was his downfall. It’s critically important that second-in-command
leaders seek for increasing levels of personal growth and healing
where needed. Remember, you’re a target! An unhealed wound is an
entry point for a spirit of betrayal. It got to Joab.”
With a gentler expression than he had yet worn in this dia-
logue, the young commander asked a question.“Are there any other
principles that Joab demonstrated that could help me in my relation-
ship with his brother, Abishai?”
The old man smiled.“Yes, there is one more. Joab was an excel-
lent communicator. He faithfully reported every detail of his battles
to David. He communicated honestly and thoroughly.
“Communication is of the utmost importance in your relation-
ship with your leader. As a rule of thumb, over communicate. Until
he releases you from the need to convey certain details, make it a
24
habit to share everything with him. Joab communicated all relevant

details of the activities of the kingdom to David.”
“What are relevant details?”
“The senior leader needs to know about anything that could
hurt the kingdom. He needs to know anything that people expect
him to know.Your leader should never be caught off guard by signif-
icant news. Anything that could either significantly hurt (or aid)
both the king and his kingdom needs to be communicated immedi-
ately. All leadership challenges need to be communicated, too.
“The items that probably do not need to be communicated are
distracting trivia. Joab was excellent in discerning, prioritizing, and
communicating in all of these areas.
“He did fail in communicating in one crucial area, however. He
failed to convey the depth of his personal struggles to David. He
never gave David the opportunity to serve him. In an attempt to
carry the weight of leadership well and to relieve undue stress from
David’s life, Joab became vulnerable to his own. This cannot be
overemphasized: Do not carry your struggles by yourself.
“I know you will think that you are serving your leader by hid-
ing your struggles from him. You will be wrong. He needs to know
your heart. He can help you. Had Joab expressed the sense of loss
and heart-wrenching sorrow that he felt from Abner’s murder of his
brother, David may have been more thoughtful in his approach to
Abner. Had he expressed to David his loathing of Absalom’s
betrayal, they might have been able to reach a compromise (or David
might have sent someone else at the head of his army that day).
Absalom may have been imprisoned instead of pierced through with
three spears. Joab could have been helped and justified without
falling prey to the murderous passions of his heart.”
Quite changed over the course of their dialogue, the young offi-
cer’s face reflected a thoughtful respect.“Thank you,” he said softly.
His old mentor responded as he turned to leave, “I think that
Abishai has made an excellent choice in you. I believe you will be a
great leader who will, indeed, bring increased glory to Israel. I believe
25
in your heart, Son. I believe in your ability. More than that, I believe
in you!”
The young man was left alone with his thoughts. He wanted to
remember these insights. Suddenly, he realized that he knew very lit-
tle about leadership. He determined at that moment that he would
be a leader who served. He would carry the heart of his leader and
work to see his leader’s vision fulfilled.
Quickly, so he wouldn’t forget, he withdrew his commission
papers from his satchel, turned them over, and began to write what
he had learned on the backside:
1. Second-in-command leaders must be men of courage and
faith.
2. They must be self-starting men of initiative.
3. They must earn the trust and carry the heart of their sen-
ior leader.
4. They must earn the trust and carry the hearts of those
whom they lead.
5. Sometimes they need to speak the truth in love to their
leader.
6. They must be excellent communicators, communicating
their own personal struggles as well as all pertinent details
of the organization.
7. They must be healed of their wounds. Right-hand men
are targets of the enemy and unhealed wounds are open
doors for the spirit of betrayal.
8. They must be aware of the strategic moments when the
senior leader’s presence is required.
9. Sometimes their own needs must defer to the needs of the
people.
10. They are crucial for the success of the kingdom.
26
And, lastly, he heard the Lord speak these words into his mind
and his spirit: They are worth their weight in gold!
Strengthened in his soul, he offered a prayer for Joab and then
arose to meet Abishai.
27
The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick
good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough
to keep from meddling with them while they do it.
-Theodore Roosevelt
The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be

kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but
not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arro-
gant; have humor, but without folly.
-Jim Rohn
If we were all determined to play the first violin we should

never have an ensemble.Therefore, respect every musician in
his proper place.
-Robert Schumann
c h a p t e r t h r e e
NUMBER ONE
IN N UMBER T WO
Do you like Star Trek? I don’t

think I’m a full-fledged Trekkie,
but I certainly enjoy the show. I
grew up with Kirk, Spock, and McCoy so I admit that I’m a little
partial to the original crew rather than the subsequent spin-offs;
however, I do love Star Trek: The Next Generation. I love the cama-
raderie of the crew. I like their psychological—as well as physical—
battles and challenges. I like Captain Picard and Data and Worf, but
I think my favorite character in the Next Generation is Commander
Riker, also known as “Number One.” Do you like him? I do, but I
feel bad for him.
Although he was called Number One, he was really Number

Two. I think he’s just as strong of a leader as Captain Picard. He
could easily command his own starship. I wonder why he isn’t ambi-
tious to have his own captain’s chair. Why does he settle for being
Number One in Number Two?
Maybe in his mind he isn’t settling. Maybe he recognizes the

incredible value of the right-hand man and he knows that not just
anyone can fill that role.
29
Effective “Number One” leaders have several things in com-

mon. Although we learned of several of these in the last chapter, let’s
review them again:
1. They themselves are gifted leaders.
2. They are skilled communicators.
3. They are alert to the temptation of disloyalty.
4. They carry the heart of their leader.
5. They have a close relationship with their leader.
6. They are servants.
Let’s evaluate each of these traits in greater detail.
1. They themselves are gifted leaders.
The right-hand man is both a follower and a leader. Neither of
these aspects can be ignored. If I fail to faithfully follow and serve
my leader, my own leadership is jeopardized. Likewise, if I do a poor
job leading my staff, I fail in my responsibility.
The second in command (the executive officer) is in a unique
and challenging position of leadership. They have great trust from
those they lead and from those they serve but they also feel great
pressure from each of these groups. Sometimes it can feel like you’re
being torn in two directions. The answer for your approach to each
group is the same: Serve. To effectively fill your duty as the right-
hand man, serve. To efficiently lead your team and gain increasing
influence, serve. Servanthood is the key to all successful leadership.
Leadership has been commonly, and accurately, defined as influ-
ence. The true leader in a given situation is the one who holds the
influence in the situation. This leader may or may not be the title
holder of the group.
The quickest way to gain influence with those who follow you is
to serve them—become one of their biggest fans. Support them.
Encourage them. Communicate with them. Spend time with them.
Share your heart with them. Pray for them. Believe in them. I once
heard someone say, “It’s a great thing when the people believe in
30
Number One in Number Two
their leader, but it’s an even greater thing when the leader believes in
his people.” Believe in your people.
Be their cheerleader. Be their coach. Humble yourself when you
blow it in communication with them. Ask for forgiveness. Ask for
prayer. Lead them even in your failure. Love them.
No amount of vision or charisma will substitute for committed
love. If your team knows that they are your number one priority and
that you are backing their every step, they will follow you. They will
respond when you cast vision. They will contribute when needs
arise.
The number two position can really be a fun role to fill. Despite
its challenges and frustrations, it contains great authority among
your people, along with the security of having help available from
above. It’s great to know that your leader has your back. (In a later
chapter we deal with how to respond if your senior leader fails to
provide the oversight and covering that you need.)
Although one of your boss’s jobs is to help you when you need
it, I suggest that you use him as a last resort. Do as much as you can
on your own. Lead as fully as you possibly can. Don’t ever make your
leader challenge you to step up to the plate, but rather send the mes-
sage to him that you are striving to carry as much of the weight as
possible.
I have made a personal commitment to never back down from
intimidating meetings, phone calls, or decisions. I could probably
justify passing the buck on some of these; however, I want to be an
armor-bearer and a burden-bearer. I never want my leader to feel like
he is carrying me. I want him to feel like I am supporting him.
Having said this, I must add that wisdom must be liberally
applied to this point. If I presume to handle a situation that should
have had my leader’s input or oversight, I can create a bigger mess
than if I had asked for help. I’ve been guilty of doing this. In
attempts to serve and take initiative, I have overstepped my bounds
and caused confusion or frustration. When this occurs, the leader
needs to step in anyway, so it is much better to gain wisdom in
advance and then run with the implementation of it.
31
2. They are skilled communicators.

Faulty communication has been the bane of many godly organ-
izations. The failure to accurately, frequently, and honestly communi-
cate is one of the quickest ways to deflate morale and derail progress
in any organization. I’ve learned this the hard way. Let me take you
into a recent experience.
✦✦✦✦✦
I was shocked! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. After all, I

was the one who had called the meeting. I was attempting to be a
good leader/communicator. Their responses that day changed my
leadership philosophy.
It was a special staff meeting that I had called for the purpose
of assessing and improving our communication as a team. We were
in a season where miscommunication abounded and frustration
levels were high. I thought I was being a good leader by taking the
bull by the horns and demanding change. Although it was positive
that I called the meeting, I had no idea that I was a major part of the
problem.
I had anticipated a positive, healing meeting where I would sit
back and help the staff members to resolve their relational and com-
munication differences. As I opened the meeting and began to probe
for their honest feelings, however, it became very clear that their
frustrations were largely with me.
I had become too busy. I had allowed the needs of the members
of our church to draw me away from quality time with the staff.
Consequently, we weren’t communicating as well as we had in the
past. Significant decisions weren’t being shared with the entire team.
Calendar items weren’t posted and thoroughly discussed. They were
learning about significant decisions when I announced them to the
entire congregation from the pulpit. It was wrong, and they were
frustrated. I repented and I changed. I had to.
I learned a crucial lesson that day: A leader’s staff must be their
top priority.
32
3. They are alert to the temptation of disloyalty.

The temptation of disloyalty comes to every right-hand man.
The temptation itself has little to do with the character of the right-
hand man or their love for their superiors. It just happens. It’s one of
the many temptations that accompany the number two position.
Although we will dissect this dynamic in a later chapter, let me men-
tion that the temptation of disloyalty is spawned from three sources:
the devil, hurt or misunderstanding, and disagreements with your
leader’s decisions.
The devil. Remember that he is trying his best to destroy you. If
he can get you to fall, he will have dealt a tragic blow to your organi-
zation. He’ll try to do this through outright moral temptation or he’ll
subtly play on your pride and ambition-after all you are a highly
gifted leader yourself.
Hurt or misunderstanding. You will be misunderstood by your
leader at times and you will also misunderstand your leader. The
ensuing hurt can set you up for a bout of offense. If this is
unchecked, disloyal seeds get sown in your heart and you become a
candidate for betrayal.
Disagreement with your leader’s decisions. There will be times
when you disagree with your leader. Sometimes you will be right.
The danger, though, is when you’ve expressed your views and your
leader still insists on pursuing a different course of action. When this
happens (and it will) be very mindful of the thoughts that will
assault your mind. You’ll be tantalized with the message that you
know best. In some cases, you might. However, those thoughts are
precursors to disloyalty. Appeal if necessary. Plead your case. But
stay loyal.
4. They carry the heart of their leader.
Without this fundamental character trait, number two leaders
are nothing more than liabilities to their senior leaders. A right-hand
man with a personal agenda is a deadly thing for a senior leader. A
senior leader must know that his number two man understands,
respects, and guards his heart and family as if they were his own.The
number two man will make or break the senior leader.
33
John Maxwell, in his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leader-

ship, states that “Every leader’s potential is determined by the peo-
ple closest to him.” With this being true, it is impossible to divorce
the success of the organization from the contribution of the second-
in-command leader.
There will be many times in the daily administration of his
duties when the right-hand man must make decisions based on what
he thinks the senior leader would want. In my position I am not only
responsible for the specific areas under my supervision, but I am
also responsible for administrating the big picture vision of our
church. I am empowered to make many decisions that I feel would
best serve the ministry. To ensure that my decisions are correct, I
must be very careful to factor in the heart of my leader to those deci-
sions that affect the overall health and direction of our church.
The desires of the senior leader’s heart are priority for the
organization. I have a lot of dreams that I want to see fulfilled in our
church, but the primary vision comes from our senior leader. He car-
ries the vision. I carry his heart.
5. They have a close relationship with their leader.
I don’t need to be best friends with my leader. I’ve never
thought that God called me here to hang out with my boss; however,
we do need to have a close relationship. If I don’t know him, how can
I know his heart? If he doesn’t know me, how can he care for me as
my leader?
Let me offer a few suggestions on relating and socializing with
your senior leader.
Relate on his terms. Remember, you’re there for him, not vice
versa. My boss likes the Denver Broncos. I like boxing. Do you know
what we do when we hang out together? We watch the Broncos. And
I love it. I’m still a boxing fan but my God-assigned responsibility is
to serve him and help him carry the weight of the vision.
Sometimes there’s nothing more refreshing than relaxing and
playing with our leaders and our coworkers. We spend a lot of time
together putting out fires and strategizing and dealing with problems.
34
It’s nice to laugh together. I want to be a source of refreshing for my

boss. I just hope he doesn’t ask me to start hunting with him.
Allow the fun times to truly be fun. During the halftime of a
Broncos game is not the appropriate setting to ask his opinion on the
latest pressing issues. It’s very easy to allow the pressing needs of
your business to permeate every conversation, but it’s not always
appropriate or healthy. I have to work at this. If I’m not careful, I’ll
find myself mentioning details about one of our church’s ministries
or asking a question about a pending need or opportunity. Some-
times we just need to be people, not leaders. Sometimes we need to
play, not work.
Recently, he came into my office and said, “Gather all of the
staff guys—tell them we’re going skiing tomorrow.” What a day it
was! Colorado is famous for its brilliant blue skies, champagne snow,
and world-renowned ski resorts. We had the time of our lives. One
day of playing as a team bonded us more than all of the prior year’s
staff meetings.
Take the initiative. Don’t make him carry you—even regarding
fun. If you can see he has been under a lot of pressure, take the ini-
tiative to either do something fun together or arrange things so he
can get away with his wife for a night. You probably have a good
sense for what situations must be handled personally by the senior
leader. Sometimes it is very appropriate for you to tell him to skip a
certain meeting or postpone a particular activity if he needs the rest.
I’m constantly trying to take the weight of pressure and responsibil-
ity off my leader’s shoulders. Sometimes I’ll assure him that I can
step up to the plate to handle a particular situation so he can have an
evening with his family.
Follow his lead. The right-hand man must wear multiple hats in
his relationship with the senior leader. Sometimes we are peers as we
strategize about vision and direction for our church. At other times,
we are merely friends eating lunch together. There are other times,
though, when he needs to be the leader. Although I, too, am a leader,
he’s the man.
It’s important to carefully assess when the hats need to change.
Sometimes your leader will want a friend or an encourager. Don’t be
35
afraid to step into that role. Regardless of the situation, however,

respect must be a constant. Even on the ski slopes when he feels his
age, I must never cross the lines of respect and courtesy.
Realize that he will need some peer level friendships. No matter
how close you get or how deeply into his confidence he pulls you,
there will be times when he will need to speak with someone on a
peer level. You should never be intimidated or insecure about this.
It’s very healthy for your leader to relate to other leaders of equal or
greater influence.
Take an interest in his family.His family is the dearest thing in his
heart. The quickest way to gain his loyalty and trust is to serve his
family. Go out of your way to bless and serve his spouse and chil-
dren. Remember their birthdays and special events. Many people
will take their shots at him and his family. You have his back.
6. They are servants.
Before Jessica and I moved to Colorado Springs to assume the
position of second in command in our current church, I made
appointments with my senior pastor and his executive pastor. Since I
would be serving as an executive pastor I wanted to glean some wis-
dom from each of them that would help to ensure a successful
tenure in this position.
I met with each pastor separately and asked them the same
question: “What are the best ways that I can strengthen my senior
leader?” Their responses were wonderfully helpful and surprisingly
similar.
My senior pastor listed the following as his top suggestions:
1. Make frequent phone calls asking the question “Is there
anything you need?” It is one thing to do a good job with
the leader’s requests but it is an entirely different and bet-
ter thing to instigate the request.
2. Be available to spend time together—lunches and dinners—
as needed.
36
3. Respond in faith to spiritual warfare, crises, or challenges.

If the team is faced with a problem, the right-hand man
should be the first to run to the battlefield.
4. Do their tasks right away. If the senior leader asks for a
particular task to be done, it should immediately go to the
top of the list. Your senior leader should know that if he
assigns it to you, it’s done.
When I spoke with the executive pastor, his responses were as
follows:
1. Check in both before and after key meetings. Be available.
2. Always bring encouragement before every church service.
Never let the service begin without providing some form
of support. From complimenting his tie to urging him to
preach with boldness, do something to let him know that
you believe he will do a great job in the service.
3. Always keep an eye on his children. If your senior leader
has children, make a conscious effort to reach out to them
in love and encouragement. If appropriate, spend time
with them. Let him know that you are as protective of
them as you are of him.
4. Help with practical needs. Sometimes just handling an oil
change in a vehicle can alleviate tremendous stress in a
hectic week.
5. Guard against pride when a deep, relational connection
grows. You will be brought into special confidences—
don’t allow this to become a source of pride.
6. Become a Denver Broncos fan (or at least be willing to
enjoy a game).
7. Wear bifocals. In other words, keep your eyes on both the
big picture as well as the details. Even as you strive to
faithfully implement the vision, learn what little things
concern him and keep them shored up and tidy.
37
What would Captain Kirk have been without Spock? What

would Picard have been without Number One? Your leader needs
you.
Second in command is not an easy role to fill. Learning to be
Number One in Number Two can be very challenging. Some of the
greatest challenges come in the form of questions.“What about me?
Am I not called, too? Is my vision on hold while I serve the vision of
another?”
In the next chapter, let’s explore these questions and glean
some insights that will help us safely navigate them.
38
A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on
the crowd.
-Max Lucado
In order to become a leading home run hitter, a batter must be

surrounded by good hitters; otherwise, the pitchers will “pitch
around”him. Likewise, many successful people became that
way from being on a good team.
-Laing Burns Jr.
When the great Polish pianist Ignacy Jan Paderewski was

elected prime minister of his country, he made one request
before accepting the prestigious office. He would lead the coun-
try, but he must be allowed to practice his scales for two hours
every day. Guitar virtuoso Andres Segovia requires the same
of his students—two hours a day of playing scales.Yet who
plays scales in a concert?
It is the mastery of the basics that gives birth to freedom of

expression, ease of movement, and cohesiveness in the delivery
of each phrase.
-Wayne Cordeiro
c h a p t e r f o u r
BUT I’M CALLED, TOO!
The emotion was nearly unbear-

able. He could scarcely control the
tremor in his voice. Although he
stood face-to-face with Jesus Himself, his heart was still broken into
a thousand shards of pain. He wanted to run. He wanted Jesus to
gather him into His forgiving arms. He didn’t deserve to be here. He
should still be fishing at sea.
“What is that to you, Peter? You follow Me.” The words cut
through the fog of Peter’s grieving mind and pierced his heart with
fresh hope. Jesus spoke again,“If I want John to remain until I come,
what is that to you? That doesn’t affect your place at My side at all.
Your destiny is to follow Me. No one else can take your place. I didn’t
need two Johns. John’s place with Me is secure and so is yours. I need
you. Now, follow Me!”
For the first time in days the crushing weight of guilt seemed
to roll off Peter’s shoulders and slip, forgotten, into the sea. Gentle
wavelets lapped the shore of Galilee and erased the failure of the past
weekend.With each cry of the gulls a new cry of hope arose in Peter’s
soul. Perhaps he really could be forgiven. Perhaps the Lord really did
see something in him that superseded his failure. It hardly seemed
possible. He had been as much of a traitor as Judas.
A few days earlier, Judas had hung himself in shame. Peter had
run away. He denied ever knowing the carpenter from Nazareth.
41
Then, when he should have comforted and strengthened the remain-

ing disciples, he convinced them to go back to their past with him.
Sadly, he couldn’t even fish anymore. With each empty cast of his
nets his heart broke a little more. As his fingers grew numb in the
midnight cold, an icy grief encased his soul in regret. Why had he
denied Him? Why didn’t he have the courage to stand with Him in
His darkest hour?
His boastful words still shamed his heart as they echoed in his
ears: “Though everyone else denies You, I will never deny You.” He
remembered John’s expression when he had said those arrogant
words. John had looked thoughtfully at Peter and bowed his head in
silence. John was the only one who stood at Jesus’ side at Calvary. He
held Mary in a crushing embrace as she wept from the depths of her
soul. Jesus had even spoken to him:“Son, behold your mother.”
Peter had seen Jesus since His resurrection. He and John had
raced to the empty tomb and confirmed the women’s story. He had
risen like they said. He really was the Messiah. However, as awesome
as it was, the elation of seeing Him alive had not yet healed the sense
of failure and regret.
They hadn’t spoken yet.
Peter had worshiped at Jesus’ feet. He had wept and embraced
Him but they hadn’t spoken about it yet. So he sat on the bottom of
the boat in mournful silence.
They had been fishing all night and the depression was choking
Peter. Although the sun was rising and its radiant glory was reflected
in the early morning waves, Peter was about to break again when he
heard the voice.
“Cast your nets on the other side of the boat!” Instinctively,
they obeyed. What ensued was a euphoric sense of nostalgia mixed
with elation and the scent of new beginnings. Their nets were so full
of fish that they could barely lift them out of the water.
Peter remembered his first encounter with the Lord when his
nets broke under the weight of the blessing. At that time, he had
fallen at Jesus’ feet and begged for mercy.“Depart from me for I am
42
But I’m Called, Too!
a sinful man, Lord.” The Lord’s response was engraved forever in

Peter’s memory. “Follow Me, Peter. From now on you will catch
men.”
The memories washed his soul with a mixture of fear and hope
as they toiled to haul in the nets. Would Jesus be merciful once again
or would He be angry for Peter’s denial and subsequent return to the
past?
He worked until he couldn’t take it any longer. He jumped to
his feet and hurled himself overboard, swimming toward the shore in
a frantic attempt to get to Jesus’ side. When he arrived, however, the
fear so assailed him that he again avoided the inevitable eye contact.
Instead, he began counting the catch of fish.
“One hundred and fifty-two, one hundred and fifty-three…”
Jesus interrupted,“Boys, do you have any breakfast?”
They ate in silence and a surreal peace settled over their anx-
ious hearts. Jesus didn’t seem angry. He kept looking deeply into
their eyes. What they saw there was an endless supply of understand-
ing and love.
Finally, He spoke to Peter,“Let’s go for a walk.”
The restoration was wonderful. Sure, it hurt a little, as it always
does to repent, but Peter was set free. He confronted his failure. He
acknowledged the frailty of his own soul. Then he was called again.
“Feed My sheep!” The joy that erupted in Peter’s soul spread as a
grin across his tear-stained face. Again,“Feed My lambs.”
As they walked along the beach, Peter heard a scuffling sound
behind them. He turned to see John following them. A momentary
wave of fear passed over him again. “Lord, what about this man?”
That’s when He said it.
“If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? My
plan for his life has zero effect on yours. Peter, I’ve called you to fol-
low Me. I love John. He will always have a place against My chest
and He will always hear the sound of My heartbeat, but that shouldn’t
threaten you. I didn’t need two Johns. Yes, I need him and he will
reveal a part of My nature to the churches, but I also need you. I
43
need a rock that I can build upon. That’s you, Peter! Don’t ever allow
comparison or insecurity to enter your thinking. I need you! But I
need you to be all of you. Anytime our enemy assails your mind with
fear and self-doubt, just remember My command: Follow Me. I
ordained you to be with Me. Your security stems from that place.
“If I want him to remain until I return, what is that to you? You
follow Me!”
✦✦✦✦✦
Have you ever been Peter? Have you ever felt threatened by
your own failure or by someone else’s success? Don’t feel guilty if
you have. I follow a nationally known leader who is renowned for his
ability to expound and preach the Word of God. Sometimes I doubt
my ability to fill his shoes.
That’s when the Lord reminds me: “I didn’t call you to fill his
shoes. I called you to be you. You’re not in competition with your
senior leader and nor is he with you. I needed you both and I will
use you both. If I choose to give him favor in certain circles and bear
My name on an international platform, what is that to you? You fol-
low Me.”
Associate leaders who feel called to serve in senior leadership
roles can be especially vulnerable to this struggle. They can begin to
doubt if they are really fulfilling their calling in their current position.
Whether or not you feel called to serve the Lord in a senior
leadership role, you must still resolve the questions of “What about
me?” and “Am I not called too?”
So what about those questions? Aren’t you called, too? It’s not
just your senior leader who has a mandate from the Lord to fulfill.
What about you? Is your calling on hold while you serve another
man’s vision?
The answer is both “yes” and “no.”
Yes, certain aspects of your personal vision and life mission are on
hold while you serve someone else, but, no, you don’t have to lay down
your dreams while you help make another man’s dreams come true.
44
Let’s discuss several responses to this thought.

First, you will always serve someone else’s vision. Jesus did.
He never did anything that His Father did not initiate. He was the
ultimate servant of another’s vision.
Second, serving someone else’s vision is a prerequisite for
being entrusted with your own. The more diligently you serve
someone else’s vision, the more quickly the Lord opens doors for you
to pursue your own vision.
Third, loyalty to your leader’s vision will be reciprocated.
The more faithful you are to serve your leader’s vision, the more sen-
sitive he will be to allow opportunities for you to pursue yours.
Fourth, the Lord usually gives you Leah before He gives
you Rachel.
Fifth, Rachel’s release is determined by Leah’s embrace.
To understand these last two points, we must review a familiar
Bible story. It is found in Genesis 29 and you can study it in its
entirety there. For now, I’m simply going to analyze one particular
aspect of the story.
✦✦✦✦✦
It is Jacob’s wedding day. He’s waited seven years for this

moment. He has wanted to marry Rachel since the first moment he
saw her. When she first spoke to him, his heart found its home. She
was gorgeous. She was virtuous. She was his.
Her father wasn’t convinced, however. He made Jacob work for
seven years to prove his worth before he would consent to their mar-
riage. Despite the severity of the requirement, Jacob submitted and
worked with a vision of her loveliness held ever before his heart.
Surprisingly, the time passed quickly. His love for her so over-
shadowed his world that he passed through his seven years of toil as
if they were seven days. Indeed, he would have worked a lifetime for
her hand.
45
When the day came and Rachel was finally his, he knew that
every moment of toil was worth it. They were wed. Life made sense.
The lights were extinguished and he entered her tent.
The next morning was the darkest day of Jacob’s world.
Rachel had an older sister who was unmarried, and her father
didn’t want her to experience the shame of seeing her little sister
wed first, so he did the unthinkable. He swindled Jacob. He betrayed
him. He broke him. He replaced Rachel with Leah.
When the time came for Jacob to enter Rachel’s tent, he didn’t
know that Rachel had actually been replaced by her older sister.
Leah lay quietly in the dark waiting for her sister’s groom. Rachel
wept in her father’s tent.
In the morning, Jacob’s world caved in. The woman in his arms
was not Rachel.
Rachel was beautiful; whereas Leah, the Bible says, was “tender-
eyed,” which meant “tired- or weak-eyed.”
Jacob loved Rachel. The Bible says that he hated Leah.
Two weeks later, Rachel’s father allowed Jacob to marry Rachel
as well. There was just one slight catch. In addition to keeping Leah,
Jacob was also sentenced to seven more years of service. He had two
wives. He was trapped at his father-in-law’s home. His vision of
Rachel had faded into Leah. And then he got more bad news.
Rachel was barren.
Jacob’s vision of loveliness was replaced with a reality of bar-
renness. His dreams crumbled for the second time. He cried. He
cursed. He pleaded with God. And then he discovered something
else.
Leah was incredibly fertile. In fact, it seemed like every time he
embraced her she conceived.
He loved Rachel. The vision for his life was wrapped up in
Rachel. What he had been given though was Leah, and she looked
nothing like the dream that he had been carrying in his heart.
46
Jacob was experiencing a powerful principle that every emerg-

ing young leader must learn. The Lord gives you Leah before He gives
you Rachel.And, Rachel’s release is determined by Leah’s embrace.
There were some elements of Jacob’s life that only Leah could
give him. Every time he embraced Leah (despite his disappoint-
ment), life was released. Gifts were added to him. An inheritance,
sons, was begun.
The Lord wants to know if you will embrace Leah. He has
called you to Rachel, but your Leah will add some things to your
character and leadership ability that Rachel can’t give you—at least
not initially.
Rachel did, eventually, conceive and bear a son to Jacob. How-
ever, it didn’t happen until Jacob had faithfully embraced Leah.
Leah bore him Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah. Their names
meant seeing, hearing, attachment, and praise, respectively. When Jacob
embraced Leah, God gave him the ability to truly see and hear.
When he embraced her again, he received a stronger attachment to
the purposes of God. When he embraced her, yet again, he truly
learned the power of praise.
Jacob needed Leah.
And so do you. And so do I.
Do you feel like you’re being asked to embrace Leah? It’s okay
if you do. It’s not disrespectful toward your leaders if you feel that
your current assignment is a Leah. God knows what He is doing. Just
embrace her as you remind Him that what you signed up for was
Rachel.
He holds back Rachel until we are content with Leah. Our des-
tiny, like Jacob’s, is to be transformed into princes of God. Princes
require a lot of grooming and preparation before they’re ready for
the throne. Sometimes that preparation comes in the form of a
strange woman hiding in a tent.
Embrace her. She has life to give you. You’ll need every gift she
provides when you finally get to Rachel.
47
Oh, yes, you’ll eventually get to embrace Rachel. She eventually

gave birth to a son. Often, though, her release is contingent on your
embrace of her sister.
The sweet irony of Jacob’s story is seen at the end of his life
when he charges his sons with his burial requests. On his death bed,
he made a specific request of his sons. He said, “Bury me at Mach-
pelah in Mamre where Abraham buried Sarah [the love of his life]
and where Isaac buried Rebekah [the love of his life], and where I
buried Leah.”
Jacob fell in love with Leah.
You are destined for the Rachel that you fell in love with when
you responded to the leadership call on your life. You must remem-
ber, though: Leah is part of Rachel. You need both.
God gives us Leah before He gives us Rachel. Rachel’s release is
often determined by Leah’s embrace.
You might be the second in command, but aren’t you called
too? Of course you are! Be encouraged. The preparation you are
enduring is testimony to the greatness of your calling.
You’re called to be a prince.
48
No man is fit to command another that cannot command

himself.
-William Penn
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act,

but a habit.
-Aristotle
First we form habits, and then they form us. Conquer your
habits or they will conquer you.
-Ron Gilbert
Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting in a

particular way.
-Anonymous
How use doth breed a habit in a man!
-William Shakespeare
c h a p t e r f i v e
THE WAY OF THE LEADER
The Olympics. Don’t you love

them? Aren’t they awesome to
watch? They inspire me!
I love to watch Olympians compete in the Olympic Games. I
love to watch world records fall. I love to watch the gymnasts leap
and flip and spin and twist and stick their landings. I love to watch
champions emerge. I love to watch an unknown kid from another
part of the world set a new record and become a household name.
I love the stories of the athletes’ discipline and devotion. I get
inspired when I hear about their commitment levels and their devo-
tion to their dreams. It’s fun to watch them win. It’s sad to watch
them fail.
I like to know the personal side of the games. I’m always stirred
by their stories of triumph and tragedy. Sometimes I’m moved to
tears by the adversity that different ones have overcome.
Jessica and I clear out our schedule every two years to do noth-
ing but cuddle up and watch the Games. We love the Olympics.
I think I’ve figured out why they affect me so deeply. I used to
think it was simply the excellence of the competition and the glory
that is seen in the gathering of the nations, but there’s actually
another reason. The New Testament makes it very clear that followers
51
of Jesus Christ are called to function with Olympic-caliber excel-

lence in whatever they do.
This is especially true of leaders.
When the apostle Paul wrote his letters to the Corinthian
believers, he was writing to a group of people who had a similar love
for the Olympics. The biennial Olympic Games originated in
Corinth and were a significant part of the city’s culture. When Paul
addressed the church there he used Olympic terminology. Listen to
some of the phrases he used in First Corinthians 9.
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only
one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win
(1 Corinthians 9:24).
Win means to catch or to seize. It literally means to come from
behind to capture the victory. It reminds me of one of the recent
swimming matches in the 2004 Olympics in Athens, Greece, when
Michael Phelps came from behind to out-touch Crocker for victory
at the wall.
Everyone who competes [agonizomai] in the games exercises
self-control in all things.They then do it to receive a perishable
wreath, but we an imperishable (1 Corinthians 9:25).
Competes, from the Greek word agonizomai, is truly an Olympic
word. It literally means to contend for victory in the public games.
Agonizomai. If you read it out loud, you can hear the English word
agony in it. It reminds me of the old Wide World of Sports program
that began each episode with the phrase “the thrill of victory and the
agony of defeat.” The word also means “to strain every nerve to the
uttermost in contention for victory.” That’s certainly descriptive of
Olympic athletes.
They push their bodies to the breaking point-some literally col-
lapsing at the end of a race or a swim or a routine. Agonizomai orig-
inates from the Greek verb Ago, which means to toil with force or
violence. Some lexicons and study aids even reference the Olympic
sports of running, boxing, and wrestling to describe the type of
intense competition inherent in the word. Paul said the Olympians
52
The Way of the Leader
did it to receive a laurel wreath that wilts (or, nowadays, a gold-

plated medal that will hang on a wall). We do it, he said, for a wreath
imperishable.
Did you know that you’re in the Olympics? Every Christian is,
although many don’t realize it.
The author of Hebrews uses similar terminology when he says:
“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let
us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles
us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us” (Heb.
12:1).
He goes on to say: “You have not yet resisted to the point of shed-
ding blood in your striving against sin” (Heb. 12:4). The term striving
against is our term for agonizomai. He said that we should approach
our fight against sin with the same tenacity with which an Olympic
wrestler faces his opponent. We should be straining every nerve to
the uttermost in our contention for victory over the enemy of our
soul.
By the way, our enemy is attacking us with Olympic-caliber
force. In Ephesians 6:12, Paul says that “Our struggle [agonizomai] is
not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers,
against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of
wickedness in the heavenly places.” Like it or not, believe it or not, agree
with it or not, we are in a war of Olympic proportions.
What a ludicrous proposition it would be to think that a week-
end warrior (like me) who exercises a couple of times a week could
compete against an Olympic athlete. I like to lift weights and run on
a treadmill for about 30 minutes, a few times each week. What a joke
to think that I could win the gold in Beijing in 2008. How crazy to
think that I could last even a few seconds with the greatest wrestlers
in the world.
But that’s what we do spiritually.
We live on a few minutes of daily devotions and hope to with-
stand an enemy who is devoted to our destruction with Olympic-
level intensity. Not only is he devoted to the downfall of individuals,
53
but he is especially intent on destroying godly businesses and min-

istries. If he can stop an individual, he is pleased; but if he can stop a
leader, he rejoices. Leaders influence people. Leaders are a threat to
the kingdom of darkness.
Leaders are bigger targets.
What can we learn from the Olympics that can serve to
enhance our leadership ability and ensure our success? All
Olympians have one thing in common. Despite their different life
experiences and ethnic backgrounds and personal struggles, they all
possess one common denominator: They live a lifestyle that supports
their ambition. They don’t just train really hard a few months during
the off-season. Their lives revolve around the pursuit of their
dreams.
There was a young girl from Washington State (my home
state) who competed in swimming in the 2000 Sydney games. Her
life didn’t look the same as every other 16 year old in her high
school. She was in the pool every morning at 4:00 A.M. After school,
she practiced for three more hours. She only ate foods conducive to
improving her strength and stamina. She had to go bed early. She
surrendered her freedom out of devotion for her dream.
Although most Olympic athletes may not realize it, they are
actually practicing a very biblical principle. They are living the way.
The Hebrew word Derek (translated “way”) is used all throughout
the Old Testament. It is an incredibly powerful word that refers to a
way, mode, or manner of living. It refers to the way in which one
takes a journey or approaches a task. It means lifestyle.
In the Hebrew mind there was no compartmentalization of
religion. People were their beliefs. They lived the way of devout ones.
In the Book of Proverbs, King Solomon urged a young man to keep
his way pure. He didn’t say “avoid lust and immorality”; he said
“keep your entire lifestyle far from the adulterous woman.”
It’s interesting that the early disciples of Jesus Christ were
called members of The Way. They lived a lifestyle of devotion to a
cause. Just like Olympians do.
54
Just like we should.

Success in any endeavor comes from creating a way of living
that sustains victory and success. Success is never the result of mere
inspiration. I can get inspired very easily; however, great works aren’t
accomplished by bursts of brilliant inspiration. People have these
bursts every New Year, but the reason that most New Year’s resolu-
tions fail is because those making the resolutions fail to create a
lifestyle that sustains their new resolve. They are very genuine in
their desire to change, but they don’t move beyond desire into
action. They don’t sculpt a new way of living.
What is the way of the leader? How can we craft a lifestyle that
ensures success in our leadership callings?
I think the answer is twofold:
1. Identify priorities.
2. Create a system that supports and sustains them.
Identifying priorities is crucial for any leader. There is always
more work than a leader can get done in a given day. I’m sure your
to-do list is never fully deleted. There is always one more sales call to
be made. There’s always one more client to see. The leaders who
practice the discipline of identifying priorities (and living within
them) are the leaders who accomplish the most in life and have the
most time left over for alternate pursuits of happiness.
I was privileged to eat lunch with a great man of God when I
was just starting out in my leadership career. He was a guest speaker
at our Bible college, and it was a tremendous honor to receive a few
minutes of his time. Several young adult leaders had been invited to
this luncheon, and as we joked and small-talked, he said, “Let’s
redeem the time. Is there anything on your hearts today that I can
address?”
He was a renowned author and speaker with a busy schedule
that led him into dozens of nations annually. He had a precious wife
and several small children and he also held the position of senior
pastor of his church—a thriving congregation in a busy, metropolitan
55
city. I asked my question: “How do you do it? How do you accom-

plish all that you do and still maintain your family priorities?”
His response was swift and sweet and it marked my life forever.
He quoted the apostle Paul who said in Second Corinthians 10:13-14:
“We will not boast beyond our measure…we are not overextending our-
selves….” He explained to us that the word measure was the Greek
word metron, and it referenced the metered-out space that the Lord
has assigned for every leader. He emphasized the fact that there are a
lot of things a leader can do, but he is only called to do those things
that fall within his God-assigned measure.
Stay within your measure! It’s there that your anointing flows
best. It’s there that you will have the greatest influence and impact.
It’s there that you will change the world.
Defining your measure makes your life much easier. If you
know, specifically, what the Lord has called you to, you can say no to
everything else. This is both freeing and redemptive.
How does the second-in-command leader determine his
measure?
First, he doesn’t determine it alone. We need to get input from
the senior leader. There is a vantage point that the senior leader has
that other leaders are not graced with. There have been occasions
when I was certain that I should direct the bulk of my time in a par-
ticular area but later realized, through counsel with my senior leader,
that I would add more value to our organization if I went in a differ-
ent direction.
Where should you focus your energy? I heard John Maxwell
say to a group of leaders,“You are most valuable where you add the
most value.” Where do you add the most value? You probably know
the answer, but your leader probably has some additional insight.
As a general rule of thumb for determining your measure, fol-
low these principles:
1. Do what God has called you to do. You will be the most
anointed, effective, and fulfilled in this area.
56
2. Serve your senior leader. Someone said, “The senior leader

serves the people; the staff serves the senior leader.”
There’s truth in that statement.
3. Focus on the specific strengths that you alone bring to your
organization. Since you are a high level leader, you are
probably privileged with the ability and freedom to staff
your weaknesses. Do it. Don’t waste a lot of time trying to
become excellent in your weak areas, but rather strive to
master and maximize your strengths.
I have identified my measure (in my position of church leader-
ship) to include the following:
1. Seeking the will and presence of God for my church.
2. Serving my senior pastor. His requests must be top priority.
3. Communicating (teaching and preaching) in corporate
settings.
4. Pastoring my staff. I must prioritize those leaders that I
lead.
5. Providing pastoral care for our congregation.
When I get out of my measure I immediately lose my effective-
ness as a leader. For example, if I devote the bulk of my time to the
needs of the people in my congregation, my staff and ministry lead-
ers feel neglected. This is dangerous because they are the ones who
are truly pastoring the people. If I am a wise leader I will invest my
time with them to ensure that my pastoral efforts are multiplied. I
can provide much more effective leadership and pastoral care for the
congregation by investing the bulk of my time into my leaders.
I know this sounds very simplistic and obvious, yet many lead-
ers fail here. Especially church leaders.
Most church leaders were trained in a Bible college and, while
they learned the ins-and-outs of sermon preparation and spiritual
development, they learned very little about leadership. Consequently,
many pastors are playing catch up. They are wonderful pastors (in
the true, shepherding sense of the word), yet they struggle in the area
57
of leadership. I do too. Sometimes I forget that I can get more done

by ministering to a few key leaders than I can by personally visiting
with 40 people from our church each week. Of course the prioritiza-
tion of my leaders does not negate my need to be available for the
members of the congregation—it actually enhances it.
Let’s go back to systems. I mentioned that the reason that most
resolutions fail is that they are never sustained by a system that
ensures success. Creating a system does not have to be a complicated
affair. Once I identified my ministry priorities, I simply looked at the
amount of hours that were available to me for work (I began the
process by reserving plenty of time to be with the Lord and my fam-
ily) and I began assigning time to my priorities.
We all have the same amount of time allotted to us each week.
The choice is ours how we use it. I have realized that my mornings
are the most productive time of the day for me; therefore, I reserve
them for my priorities. I have to be very intentional about this.
It’s easy to enter my office and check my Emails first. When I
do this, I have usually lost an hour of time and become bogged down
by the content of varying correspondences. Before I know it, I’ve lost
my prime priority time and then my day’s appointments are upon me.
Create a system. I learned and practiced this principle when I
was the right-hand man in a start-up mortgage company, and it
worked wonders for us. We increased our bottom line and we
received greater appreciation and referrals from our customers.
As a new, unknown company in a city dominated by well-
established banking institutions, my partner and I realized that we
needed an edge to help us succeed. Since interest rates were at a 40-
year low, all of the city’s mortgage companies were aggressively pur-
suing the refinance market. We, of course, wanted a piece of that
market, too, but we realized that our odds of competing with some of
the existing companies were quite slim.
After much prayer and strategy, we felt like the Lord was inspir-
ing us to develop a very simple (yet excellent) servicing system for real
estate agents. No Realtors would refer business to us based on the
strength of our name (they didn’t know our name). So we surmised
58
that our best edge was to provide the most excellent and innovative
customer service plan in the industry.
I know that sounds lofty and I doubt if we accomplished that
goal; however, we did gain favor with numerous Realtors who had
never experienced that type of follow-up and care for their referred
leads and customers. We took the concepts of gratitude, servanthood,
and faithfulness and built them into a system that included daily
updates and referral gifts, as well as marketing opportunities.
We asked the questions:“How can we serve our Realtors? How
could we refer business to them?” Once we identified several simple
but effective ways, we built the system. The system told me on what
day to send the thank-you cards. It told me how often to contact
them with updates. It ran that particular aspect of our company for
me. All I had to do was run the system.
We were greatly inspired by a book called The E-Myth by
Michael Gerber. In it, he demonstrated how the most successful cor-
porations are those that develop a turn-key system of operation. If a
system is put in place that efficiently runs the company, all the
employees have to do is work the system. If there is no system, the
people might still be able to get the work done, but the effort
required to accomplish it increases dramatically.
Every business needs a system of operation to survive. Every
New Year’s resolution needs a system to sustain it and ensure its
implementation. It’s the way of the leader.
The Power of an Hour
Before I conclude this chapter, I’d like to share an amusing dis-
covery I made one day while I was pondering all of the things that I
wanted to accomplish with my life and yet felt the pressure of having
too little time. I decided to examine what I could accomplish if I
devoted just 95 minutes each day to my priorities. Glance at the fol-
lowing chart to see what I discovered.
The power of daily discipline continued over time:
95 minutes/day for 3 years
95 minutes/day for 25 years
59
Activity Time (per day) 3-Year Results 25-Year Results
Prayer 30 minutes 3.5 months of 2.25 years of

40-hour work weeks 40-hour work weeks
of intercession of intercession
Bible reading 20 minutes Old Testament 3X Old Testament 25X

(with a simple New Testament 6X New Testament 50X
Bible reading Psalms and Psalms and
schedule) Proverbs 6X Proverbs 50X
Writing 15 minutes 1 book published 8 books published
Reading 15 minutes 22 books total: 182 books

9 spiritual books
9 biographies
4 novels
Exercise 15 minutes 273 hours 2,281 hours =

enough energy and
strength to keep up
with my grandkids
Remember, the Creation story began with God telling time

what to do and how to be labeled. He said to it:“Evening, Morning,
you’ll be one day. This is how you will function.” We’re called to do
the same.
The primary keys to living the way of the leader are to:
1. Identify your priorities and stay within that measure.
2. Create a system that supports the priorities of your
measure.
3. Tell time where to go.
4. Then, go change the world!
60
The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality.The last

is to say “thank you.”In between, the leader is a servant.
-Max DuPree
There are only three kinds of people: those who are immovable,
those are movable, and those who move them.
-Li Hung Chang
The story is told of two prisoners lying on their bunks one

evening.The prisoner on the top bunk was staring out the win-
dow of his cell into the night sky.The stars were spread out in a
splendid array, with an occasional shooting star making the
evening sky a spectacular display of divine fireworks.
Calling to his cell mate in the bunk below, the man said,“Hey,
wake up! Look at the stars! They’re beautiful. Look!”
“Aw, leave me alone,”his cell mate grunted.
“Come on. Just look.The stars tonight are the brightest I’ve
ever seen.”
His cell mate groaned and turned over in his bunk to look out
at the night sky.After a brief glance, he growled,“I don’t see
any stars.All I see are bars.”
One prisoner saw the stars; the other saw the bars. It all
depends on your attitude, doesn’t it? Contentment is an inside
job.You will either be a master or a victim of your attitude.
-Wayne Cordeiro
c h a p t e r s i x
THE MANURE
AND THE M UD
“If you’re gonna pray for rain,

don’t complain about a little
mud!”
It made a great sermon when my pastor preached it.Years later,
though, while bending to the breaking point under the pressure of
leadership, it didn’t sound quite as clever or cute. I don’t remember
when the rain started, but I was up to my knees in mud. In fact, I felt
like I was caught in a torrential mudslide and I wanted out.
I don’t know that I was experiencing anything that any other
right-hand man hasn’t experienced, but it was sure overwhelming to
me. I felt like I was spinning my wheels. I was seeing very little fruit
in my leadership. I was frustrated with my senior leaders. I was
beginning to doubt that the Lord had really called me to my assign-
ment. I wanted to cry. I wanted to quit.
I don’t think I was facing any unusual challenges or crises
(although I’ve certainly faced my share). I think it was just that the
realities of leading in the number two position had pushed me to
the breaking point. Oh yeah, there was probably one other dynamic
at play. I’m sure there was a little demonic oppression thrown into
the mix.
63
The devil hates you, you know. His greatest delight is to see
leaders fall. If he can’t take you out through an overt attack, he will
assail your mind with seeds of discouragement and despair. When I
got alone and poured my soul out to the Lord, it didn’t sound like
me—it sounded like the devil:
“That’s it! I’m done! I’ve spun my wheels long enough and I’ve
stood as long as I can stand. If I’ve failed, that’s fine, but I just can’t
take it anymore. This is not what I signed up for. I’m willing to work
hard and do my best but I’m miserable. I quit.”
Please hear my heart! I’m not saying it is demonic to be honest
about our emotions and struggles. It’s actually very healthy to do so.
A cursory read of the psalms of David reveals a leader who was very
comfortable expressing his deepest anguish to the Lord. What the
enemy loves to do is fuel those feelings of hopelessness until we are
convinced that the only option is to run. That’s where it becomes
demonic.
It’s crucial that we recognize our enemy’s scheme against our
success so we can effectively counterpunch. One of his greatest
schemes in attacking right-hand men is to work through the weak-
nesses of their senior leaders.
Don’t worry here! I’m not going to be critical of senior lead-
ers in this chapter and I’m not going to try to rile up your frustra-
tions. But I am going to be honest. It can be a great challenge to
serve as a right-hand man, and it wouldn’t be fair to leave the chal-
lenge unaddressed.
Your leaders are awesome! You wouldn’t be serving them if they
weren’t.You wouldn’t allow your reputation to be tied to theirs if you
didn’t believe in them as strongly as you do. I’m sure you admire
them deeply and respect the special gifting and anointing that the
Lord has placed on their lives. They’re called of God. They’re incred-
ibly strong in certain areas.
They’re also very human. And they have blind spots.
I doubt very much that there is a perfect leader anywhere in the
world. I’m sure that the most wonderful, loving, and efficient leaders
64
The Manure and the Mud
you can imagine have some rough spots. There’s probably a side to
them that has a way of galling their right-hand man.
I love my leaders. I wouldn’t be laying my life down for them if
I didn’t. I’m proud to stand along their side. But they have some
blind spots. And the hard part about it is that they don’t even realize
it. They have some rough edges. They probably have no idea that I
can get my feelings hurt by some of their comments (or lack of com-
ments). They probably don’t realize that certain interactions we have
bring discouragement down upon me. They would never do it inten-
tionally. I know that.
One thing that helps me keep my hurt and frustration in per-
spective is the fact that I, too, have blind spots. Mine might be worse
than theirs. Who knows? That’s the thing about blind spots—you
can’t see them and most people are afraid to point them out to you
(at least in a constructive manner).
Let’s talk about one of the most common feelings that can
descend upon the associate’s soul and analyze some keys in process-
ing it.
Keep in mind, as we discuss this, that the enemy wants to insti-
gate and fuel negative emotions in your heart. We can’t take all of our
frustrations at face value. There is a devil who wants nothing more
than to derail leaders. If he can get to you, he can hurt your leader
and your organization. You’re one of his biggest targets. He is con-
stantly amplifying hurt and irritation in you. He’s trying to push
your buttons. Knowing this, then, and with a heart of grace and
understanding, let’s look at one of the most common afflictions of
the right-hand man’s soul.
The second in command can often feel unappreciated. They work
very hard. They are often a major part of the backbone of the organ-
ization. If the backbone does a good job in the body, it is unnoticed.
However, when it’s out of place, it gets noticed immediately. This is
often the case with the second in command.
They’re sort of like sound technicians in a corporate gathering.
When everything runs smoothly they are unnoticed, but if a monitor
squeals or a microphone won’t work, the whole assembly turns to
65
stare at them. The praise goes to the up-front leader while the assis-
tant is often overlooked. The platform personality is the one who is
recognized and lauded with thanks and appreciation while the assis-
tant is often the one who has handled the nuts and bolts of the event.
I realize that Paul exhorted the church at Colosse to do their
work “not with eye-service as man pleasers but with singleness of
heart, fearing God.”(Colossians 3:22) I know that I should live my
life for an audience of One and that His “well done” is the only one
that I should desire. The problem is that I don’t. I want to, but I’m
not there yet. I still want to be thanked. I want my leaders to recog-
nize the job that I do, and I want to be appreciated.
I sacrifice a lot. My family has determined that we will live our
lives for the sake of God’s calling and for no other reason. That
requires some selflessness. It mandates some unconditional love. It
gets hard sometimes.
I realize that a mature Christian leader should be happy to
serve in obscurity and, hopefully, someday I’ll get to that selfless
state of mind. Until I do, however, I need some help navigating the
minefield of hurt and frustration that occurs when I feel that I’m
not appreciated or recognized for the work I do. In case you wrestle
with that too at times, I’ve offered a few thoughts to help us with it.
First,recognize that the standard that I just shared about selfless ser-
vanthood is the standard for your leadership. Jesus told us that when we
do our spiritual duty we should simply say that we were merely
doing our obligation as servants.
We are servants. We do work and serve for Him and Him alone.
When I serve my senior leader, I’m really serving Jesus. If my eyes
are on man, I’ll see humanity and flesh, but if my eyes are on Jesus,
I’ll see Jesus in my leader. Serving him, then, will become an honor
not a chore.
I love First Corinthians 7:22 where Paul says,“He who was called
in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord’s freedman.” True freedom is found
in servanthood.
66
Second, it helps me to remember that my senior leader carries a

weight that I know nothing of. As much as I genuinely own and carry
the vision, I’m not in his position. The buck doesn’t stop with me—
it stops with him, and that is a heavy responsibility.
I may do the bulk of the behind-the-scenes work, but people
visit our church because of the incredible gifting of our senior pas-
tor. The founder of a company is the reason that the company
exists—even if the vice president oversees all of its daily operations.
This consistent reminder of the value of your leader to your organi-
zation keeps grace and perspective fresh in your mind.
Third, I have to remind myself that my boss can’t read my mind. I
know this might sound like marriage counseling 101, but it’s true.
Sometimes I feel unappreciated but I have never shared that I need
to feel appreciated. To take it a step further, I’ve never shared how I
most deeply feel and receive appreciation. Have you?
Do you receive affirmation and encouragement verbally or do
you prefer to receive a card or a gift? Are you a quality time person
or are you content with a slap on the back? Does your boss know the
answer to these questions? Have you ever told him?
It dawned on me one day when I was feeling particularly over-
looked and unappreciated that my senior leader had no clue that I
needed to hear a word of gratitude from him. His assumption was
that I knew how he felt about me and my service. He didn’t realize
how much weight his words carried in affirming my soul. I had
never told him.
Here’s how I broached the subject. I simply said, “I need to
share my heart with you regarding something I’ve been feeling. I
haven’t received any feedback from you about…and it’s making me
wonder if you’re pleased with my work. I feel secure in our relation-
ship and I don’t need constant affirmation; however, my primary
means of receiving encouragement is through words. It means a lot
more to me than you probably realize when you simply say,‘You did
well on that task’ or ‘Good job with that meeting.’” It went great! He
didn’t feel a pressure to pander to me but he became more sensitive
to minister to me through verbal encouragement.
67
In addition to informing them of our personal love language,

we should be sure to learn theirs as well. Perhaps they are expressing
appreciation to you—just not in ways that you relate to.
We should be growing in our selflessness and we should be
content to serve simply for the glory of God. While we grow into
this, however, the enemy attacks us, and it is far better to tactfully
and respectfully broach the subject of our frustrations than to take
counsel with our speculations and fears.
Having said this, let me now switch directions. Although it is
highly important to provide your leader with insight to the needs of
your heart, we must remember that there are some needs that a sen-
ior leader will never be able to meet. My leaders are not God. There
will always be a Jesus-shaped hole in my heart that only He can
complete.
One of my favorite Scripture verses is Colossians 2:10 that says:
“In Him you have been made complete.” The definition of the word
complete references a house that is filled with a sweet perfume or a
net that is filled with fish. In other words, he said that when we are
truly surrounded by Jesus, our lives become filled with purpose and
a sweet fragrance. He (Jesus), not a word of affirmation from my
leader, completes me.
I’m a firm believer that we, as sons and daughters of God, rep-
resent Jesus to those around us. In a very real sense we become His
hands and feet on planet Earth; however, every person still needs
Him directly. They need to feel the reality of His presence and hear
the soft sweetness of His voice.
The Lord wants us to be dependent on Him. Consequently,
there are probably times when He sees to it that our leaders let us
down. Every leader will disappoint a follower from time to time. Woe
to that follower if his or her faith rested solely in the leader.
Paul said, “Follow me as I follow Christ,” but he never asked his
followers to put their ultimate hope in him. He knew that people
need Jesus. As leaders we must constantly lead people back to Him.
68
Certainly, God uses our leaders to speak to us and mentor us.

In some ways they become a very real extension of His presence and
work in our lives; however, there will be times in the life of every
leader where he must find God alone. (The next chapter will address
the issue of how to find Him.)
There is another reason that God allows our leaders to be
incomplete vessels in ministering to our souls. He is training us. If
our leaders were able to meet our every need and perfectly help us in
every situation, they might preempt some opportunities for growth
in our lives.
I received a birthday card from my uncle when I turned 16.
Pardon the crassness, but it said, “I know the grass probably looks
greener in someone else’s yard…but chances are it has just as much
dog manure as your own.” Although this may sound terribly rude
and critical, please let me use it to illustrate a point.The sentiment of
this birthday card is true of your service of your senior leaders.
The thought can frequently arise in our hearts that service in
another field might be more fulfilling. Another organization may
appear to be strong in the areas that yours is struggling, and the
thoughts can emerge:“I bet it’s much easier to lead over there.” Can
you take a guess as to whose voice that might be? It’s not yours. It’s
certainly not your Father’s.
Here are a couple of keys to overcoming the voice of the adver-
sary and navigating through the inevitable challenges that you will
have with your leader:
1. Remember that you, too, have blind spots.
2. Remember that your leader carries a pressure that the
right-hand man doesn’t experience (no matter how fully
he owns the vision).
3. Remember that God is at work in you.
4. Remember that one of the tools that He uses for this work
is your senior leader.
69
5. Remember that you must articulate your needs to your

senior leader—he cannot read your mind.
6. Remember that no matter how wonderful your leader
may or may not be, there are areas of your heart that can
only be touched and encouraged by Jesus Himself.
7. Remember that you are complete only in Christ.
8. Remember that if you respond to His work at this level it
will qualify you for promotion.
9. Lastly, remember that the Lord assigned you to your cur-
rent position because He believed that you were perfect
for it.
He’s answered your prayer! He’s sent you where you’re needed
most! Your company needs you! Your ministry needs you! His
scepter is outstretched to you.
70
Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what

remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good
ones.
-Benjamin Franklin
It seems, in fact, as though the second half of a man’s life is

made up of nothing but the habits he has accumulated during
the first half.
-Fyodor Mikhaylovich Dostoyevsky
Spiritual leadership requires Spirit-filled people. Other quali-

ties are important; to be Spirit-filled is indispensable.
-J. Oswald Sanders

c h a p t e r s e v e n
THE PRIORITY
OF THE P RESENCE
I think I’m dying. I definitely

have a disease. No, a doctor hasn’t
verified my condition, but I can
feel it overtaking me. It’s crippling all of my efforts to move. It’s
haunting me.
I think about it all of the time. I know I need to make some
changes to my lifestyle because I’m succumbing to its paralysis.
It’s affecting my performance (I was a much better leader
before it gained a foothold in me). It’s affecting my marriage (I’ve
been floundering as a husband since it started its rampage through
my soul).
It hurts. It slows me down. It makes me easily agitated. It sucks
the life out of me. Since I became infected, I’ve been struggling with
it every day. In fact, I’m wrestling with it right now.
It’s ugly. I’m ashamed to talk about it. I interacted with people
much more easily before I was diagnosed. Now, I’m a little insecure.
My confidence has been rapidly disappearing and I’m beginning to
doubt myself. I can’t remember exactly when it began but I can cer-
tainly feel the effects of it.
73
Did I mention that this isn’t my first bout with it? Actually, I’ve
struggled off-and-on with this for a long time. I’ve had several close
calls, but it’s gone into remission each time. I thought that I finally
had it beat.
I had done so well for so long. There hadn’t been any recur-
rences for many months and I was just beginning to enjoy my new
life. I felt strong. I was happy. Now look at me. I’m ruined.
I should warn you: It’s contagious. Especially for leaders.
My discouragement level is at an all-time low. My vision has
blurred so much that I’ve almost forgotten my name and I so badly
wish I could quit. The worst thing about my condition, though, is
that it’s self-inflicted.
I did it to myself.
I can’t blame anyone but me. I didn’t catch this from my kids.
It wasn’t passed on to me by someone at work. No, I’m the only
guilty party. It’s completely my fault.
I stopped praying.
And as if that’s not enough, I added to my own hurt when I
became too busy. At least I think that’s how it happened. It may have
been reversed. I might have become too busy to pray. Either way, it’s
gotten me.
Prayerlessness is killing me.
It started with my perspective. It always begins there. I began
seeing things from my natural, worldly perspective. I lost focus on
God’s bird’s-eye view of things. Instead of perceiving His purposes
and handiwork behind circumstances, I began to view them as iso-
lated, independent events. Consequently, I became frustrated. I didn’t
have the grace for people and situations that I usually have. I was
more impatient and impulsive. I lost my sense of purpose. My confi-
dence soon followed.
As my courage ebbed, I felt an increasing sense of insecurity
and intimidation. I became reluctant to pioneer new ventures. I
74
The Priority of the Presence
waffled in my self-confidence. I started to sit back and let others

lead. My judgment became skewed.
Although I couldn’t see it at the time, it’s very clear to me today
that I began to filter situations through a grid of fear. My decisions
became fear based. I began to think defensively and fantasize about
worst-case scenarios. I feared that failure was imminent.
As criticisms and complaints reached my ears (they always
seem to find their way to the leader’s ears), I began to trust them
more than I trusted the Word of God. With this faulty judgment I
saw a red alert when things were probably (at worst) only a yellow
level. This skewed perspective inevitably led to ineffectiveness.
Leaders can’t lead when their perspective is tainted by fear and
frustration. They can’t lead when relying on their own ability. The
ultimate foretelling of doom for a Christian leader is when they
begin to lead primarily out of their personalities instead of the
anointing.
That was me. Prayerlessness had so gripped my life that I began
to offer people insights from my own soul instead of life-giving
words from the Holy Spirit. For a pastor, that’s a deadly trap.
When my disease had fully blossomed and had a choke-hold on
my soul, I was ready to quit. I was ready to die. I doubted God. I
doubted my calling. If this was the abundant life that Jesus prom-
ised, then someone else was welcome to it. I must have been mis-
taken when I thought He had called me to lead. After all, leaders take
most of the arrows, and I was feeling like a big red target for practic-
ing archers. I just wanted out.
Ever been there? Have you ever lost perspective and grace and
courage and only after days or weeks or months of spiraling, realized
that it all started when the demands of leadership drove you out of
your prayer closet? Have you ever been too busy to pray? Have you
ever suffered the consequences? Has the Holy Spirit ever diagnosed
the state of your soul as being overrun by the disease of prayerless-
ness? Thankfully, there is a cure.
It’s really quite simple.
75
Pray. Repent. Return. He hasn’t left you. He’s still waiting.

In Song of Solomon 1:4 the bride says, in essence,“Draw me; we
will run together.” It’s impossible to run the race and fight the fight
and pursue the vision in our own ability. He must draw us.
I’ve always been very faithful in my daily devotions. I love the
Bible and I love the presence of the Lord. Consequently, it has been
fairly easy for me to develop a pretty consistent plan for Bible study
and prayer. My problem has been that it’s ended there.
On a whim (probably a Spirit-led one), I did a study one day of
all of the instances that Jesus withdrew from the crowds to pray. I
was trying to gain more balance in my personal schedule and carve
out more time to pray, and I thought it might help me to study the
prayer habits of Jesus. I wondered if He demonstrated a pattern that
I could follow. I was facing several large decisions and I felt that I
needed an extra dose of His presence. Here’s what I found.
Constant communion with the Father was the benchmark of
Jesus’ spirituality. He never did or said anything apart from what He
saw or heard His Father doing. He truly lived Paul’s exhortation to
pray without ceasing; however, He didn’t stop there. Although He
always communed with the Father, He consistently withdrew for
strategic, intensified prayer. He did this when facing eight specific
situations:
1. When in need of direction in His ministry.
2. When experiencing increased growth/expansion in His
ministry.
3. When selecting/placing leaders in the ministry.
4. When commissioning His leaders for specific ministry
tasks.
5. When weary and grieving.
6. When tempted to lose heart.
7. When His followers were battling a storm.
8. Prior to facing the cross.
76
I was shocked and mortified when I completed this summary

because I, personally, was facing six out of these eight scenarios and
yet I was taking no additional time for prayer. I was simply living out
of the strength of my daily devotions.
That’s bad enough.
It’s even worse when leaders live out of the strength of their
personality and their leadership ability. I heard a question asked
once in a sermon that has lodged in my mind: “If the Holy Spirit
backed completely out of your ministry, would things carry on as
usual?”
Is the presence of God your priority? Is the glory of God cen-
tral to your business? Remember that God was very intentional
when He instructed Moses to geographically arrange the 12 tribes of
Israel while they were traveling in the desert. He had them struc-
tured in a balanced arrangement where three tribes lined up in each
direction. Three tribes lined up to the north, three tribes lined up to
south, east, and west. The prominent feature of this arrangement was
that the Tabernacle, that housed the glory of God, was placed in the
center of the 12 tribes. At the center of the daily life of Israel was the
presence and glory of God.
Don’t you think a church would grow and flourish with God at
its center? Isn’t it ludicrous to think that a church could grow with-
out Him? Yet it happens all of the time. Programs replace the pres-
ence. Vision replaces His voice.
Do you remember Obed-Edom? He was the fellow who housed
the Ark of the Covenant for three months while King David contem-
plated how to bring it back to Jerusalem. Do you remember what the
Bible says of Obed-Edom? It says, “The Lord blessed Obed-Edom and
all of his household” (2 Sam. 6:11). The quickest way to the blessing is
to house the presence of God. Does your ministry do that? Is your
company a holding tank for the glory or is it merely a means to a
prosperous end? Remember, prosperity lies with Him.
It’s very easy for associate level leaders to fall prey to the
tyranny of the urgent. After all, their job is to keep the details of the
machine running.Their eye needs to stay on all of the components of
77
the corporation to ensure its efficiency and success. Let me shatter a

myth: It is not only the senior leader (of a church or a business or a
school or a medical practice) that needs to go to the mountaintop to
hear the word of the Lord for the organization. The right-hand man
must go too.
Joshua did.
I remember the story. I know that he didn’t get to experience
everything that Moses did on Mount Sinai-Joshua had to sit outside
the cloud for 30 days while Moses was inside with the Lord. There is
a special place for the senior leader to hear from the Lord and to
receive divine direction for the company. However, it’s not God’s pri-
mary choice to have him do it entirely alone. Moses took Joshua.
Jesus took three disciples.
If life and business as usual have led you into a fast-paced,
detail-oriented existence, I encourage you to get alone with the
Lord. In the eight instances when Jesus took extra time to pray, it
was often said that He “withdrew” to pray. Withdraw from busyness.
Withdraw from day timers and cell phones so you can seek the face
of your Father.
He is the one who holds the keys of prosperity for your busi-
ness. He will provide for the growth of your church. He wants to
mentor you. The only thing stopping Him from having His way in
your life is you.
Satan can’t keep my Father from mentoring me. Satan can’t
keep my Father from giving me the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven.
He can’t keep me from experiencing my Father’s love and training
and blessing.
But I can.
I can get too busy. I can trust my personality more than His
presence. I can lead from charisma instead of the secret place.
I can be a Martha.
Do you remember her? She was the lady who busily prepared
the meal for Jesus while her sister, Mary, sat and spoke with Jesus.
78
She would make a perfect vice president. She would make a perfect
executive pastor. She would be the perfect right-hand man. She’s a
self-starter. She’s motivated. Give her a task and it’s done. She needs
very little oversight. She’s able to multitask. Everything she does car-
ries the mark of excellence. She loves God. She can be trusted. She
only has one flaw.
She’s too busy.
Would you mind spying on her with me? She’s working right
now. She has a full house. In fact, Jesus is there. Let’s walk through
her familiar Bible story and weave imagination with literal interpre-
tations of the words. The Scripture references read as follows:
Now as they were traveling along, He entered a certain vil-
lage; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her
home. And she had a sister called Mary, who moreover was
listening to the Lord’s word, seated at His feet. But Martha
was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to
Him and said,“Lord, do you not care that my sister has left
me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” But
the Lord answered her and said to her,“Martha, Martha, you
are worried and bothered about so many things; but only a
few things are necessary,really only one,for Mary has chosen
the good part, which shall not be taken away from her”(Luke
10:38-42).
Incidentally, this particular story occurs immediately after Jesus
finished sharing His famous story about the Good Samaritan. Once
He left Martha’s house, He began to teach His followers about spiri-
tual warfare and intercession (see Luke 10:30-11:13). It’s interesting
that His interaction with Martha and Mary is a bridge that spans
between the two. Perhaps there is a word to us through these Scrip-
tures, that if we don’t learn the lessons from Martha and Mary, both
our Good Samaritan ministry and our intercessory prayer ministry
might be short-lived.
Anyway, Jesus had been traveling. He and the boys were tired,
hot, and hungry when they made their way to Martha’s home. Our
text told us that she welcomed them into her home.The word welcome
means to receive kindly with hospitality.
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Jesus entered Martha’s house and immediately experienced the

refreshing, cathartic gift of hospitality. Don’t you love people with
the gift of hospitality? I do. I love to be pampered and appreciated
and cared for when I visit in their homes. Hospitality people have
the ability to make you feel like the most important person on the
planet. It’s a gift. My wife has the gift of hospitality. It’s a wonderful
gift that is desperately needed in our society and culture.
Martha was wonderful! And she had a sister.
Thank God, she had a sister! Her sister saved her. You see, she
was suffering from our disease. Imagine what our story would sound
like without Mary:“As they were traveling,they entered a certain village
and a certain woman named Martha welcomed them in, fed them,
refreshed them, and sent them on their way.”
Sadly, that’s the way it is with many churches and businesses.
Well, thank God for Mary. In the middle of this story there is a
little tangent inserted. Martha needed Mary! This story is all about
courting the presence of the Lord. Our leadership success hinges on
our ability to court and sustain the presence of the Lord in our
organizations. However, you and I can’t do it alone. We need a Mary.
For us to walk in the fullness of our relationships with God, we
need a brother or a sister. We need their encouragement and love. We
need their iron-sharpening-iron effect in our lives. We need them to
help us find the feet of Jesus.
Of course we need to have our own personal, private walk with
God and without it, no amount of fellowship with people can sustain
us, and yet we all know that the gospel is a relational story. We need
each other. You need Mary.
And you need to be a Mary. You are destined to help someone
else find their place at Jesus’ feet where they can see into His eyes
and hear every inflection of His voice.
Apparently, Jesus wanted to talk. While Martha cooked and pre-
pared, Mary sat at Jesus’ feet listening to His word. Although He was
hungry and tired, what He really wanted to do was share a word with
someone.
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He has some things He wants to tell you. He has some thoughts

for your ministry. I know you’re a high-ranking leader in your com-
pany, but He’s still the Head of all things and He has a few observa-
tions to pass along to you.
Mary sat at His feet and heard His word.
Martha cooked and cleaned. She probably needed to. After all,
her home would house the Master. It probably smelled wonderful
when He opened the door. Peter and the boys probably started sali-
vating when their nostrils sampled the fragrance of her hospitality.
However, Jesus wanted to talk, and from her place in the kitchen,
Martha could only catch muffled tidbits of His words.
She tried to have a good attitude but she was getting very
annoyed. Mary hadn’t even lifted a finger. She hadn’t offered to serve
any of the guests. She just plopped down at His feet and ignored
everyone else. After a while, Martha couldn’t take it anymore.
“Lord, don’t You care that my sister has left me to do all of the
work alone…then tell her to help me.” The fact that she uses the
word then, implies that Jesus responded to her question. It seems
that He said that, yes, He did care that Martha was left to do the
work alone. What Martha didn’t realize was that He did tell Mary to
help her. Mary was helping her far more than she realized.
I love how Jesus addressed Martha. He said, “Martha,
Martha….” I love that He said her name twice. It implies such ten-
derness and kind regard. He said, “Martha, I do care about you. In
fact, I’m worried about you. You’re distracted and encumbered with
all of your pressing needs. You’re dragging a heavy burden behind
you. I’m surprised you can move so quickly about your house with
this great weight attached to your heart and your mind. Oh, I know
that what you’re carrying is a desire to serve. I know that you want to
minister compassionate love to the needy, but your great love for
people has made you vulnerable. You’re dragging around the hurts
of humanity. You’re dragging around the needs of those who you
care for.
“Martha, you’re troubled. There is a wailing clamor in your
mind. Your great concern and anxiety is causing you to become
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disunited in your heart. I know this has all happened innocently

(that’s usually how it begins), but you’ve entirely missed the point of
My visit. Martha, I came to see you.
“Since you’ve gotten so busy, your discernment is slipping
(that’s a sign of chronic busyness). I’m not hungry at all. I didn’t
come to your home for your great cooking. I didn’t come here to
take advantage of your hospitality. I missed you. I wanted to be with
you. I have a word to share. I appreciate your heart to serve Me but
I didn’t ask you for a meal. Martha, there’s really only one thing that
is necessary.”
It’s still true today. Only one thing is necessary. By the way, this
isn’t just a word for pastors. It’s a word for leaders.
Only one thing is necessary for anyone who cares about people.
Only one thing is necessary for anyone who wants to see the
Kingdom of God expand in the earth.
Only one thing is necessary for anyone who loves the Body of
Christ.
Yes, I know that there are wounded people lying in the ditch on
the road to Jericho. I know that there are deadlines to reach and con-
tracts to sign. I know the needs of your church clamor for your
attention. I know there is a lot to do, but the word is still the same:
Only one thing is needful.
Mary wasn’t being lazy when she listened to His word. The
word listened means to hear with understanding so you can obey and
do effectively. Listening is the precursor for effective action.
Jesus says to us, “Don’t spin your wheels in warfare. Don’t let
the needs around you strangle you. Get My strategy! Sit a while and
let Me download the battle plan. Sit at My feet.”
Do you remember that the Scripture tells us that the world is
His footstool? If He says to sit at His feet, He’s really inviting us into
His dominion and victory. He’s in control of all things. He says,“Sit
with Me in victory. Let Me give you My strategy and then go forth
in triumph with all of the resources of Heaven at your disposal.” By
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the way, Jesus told Martha that when she was thus postured, nothing
could take her place away.
I think my favorite part of the story is verse 43. Oh, I know that
your Bible doesn’t have that particular verse in it. I made it up. I still
think it happened though. Here’s what verse 43 would have said:
So the salad wilted and the bread burned and Martha wept and
wept as Jesus removed the weight of the world from her shoulders.
He wants to do this for you.
He holds the key to your ministry. He knows how to build For-
tune 500 companies.
He has a place for us, but if we’re too busy, we’re too busy.
Satan can’t stop a woman like Martha, so he gets her to do
more. He probably can’t quench your leadership drive, so he’ll get
behind you and push you. It’s not good leadership to be driven by
the devil. It’s time to withdraw.
Leader, He’s waiting for you.
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Leadership is a potent combination of strategy and character.

But if you must be without one, be without the strategy.
-General H. Norman Schwarzkopf
The same ambition can destroy or save,

and makes a patriot as it makes a knave.
-Alexander Pope
Our policy is simple:We are not going to betray our friends,

reward the enemies of freedom, or permit fear and retreat to
become American policies…none of the wars in my lifetime
came about because we were too strong.
-Ronald Reagan
c h a p t e r e i g h t
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
Don’t forget your family! For the

Christian leader, the measurement
of success is found within the
walls of their own home. I heard someone say that the true definition
of success is when those who know you the best, respect you the
most. For the Christian, this couldn’t be truer. Successful leadership
means nothing without the health and support of your family.
I don’t think any book on leadership would be complete with-
out a strong admonition to prioritize the priorities. My wife is more
important to me than my church. I hope and intend to be active in
ministry for my lifetime, but I want to make sure I’m doing it with
her. Leadership is a consuming calling and, if unguarded, it can
absorb all of the margins in our life.
My daughters are six and three years old. They love to have tea
parties with chocolate milk.We toast every member of the family and
laugh until we cry. My tea party appointments are more important
than my board meetings. A church elder can wait. Amber and Mad-
elyn cannot. It requires great balance and understanding to address
this particular aspect of leadership because a true leader is a servant
and when God places a call of leadership on an individual’s life, their
family gets drafted for the assignment too.
As a pastor, I do need to be available for the crises of my peo-
ple. There are certain functions and events that I just can’t miss. As
85
pastors or business leaders or medical doctors (or any other high-

level leader), you are also inundated with needs that genuinely do
need to be met; however, it’s very easy for leaders to allow the
nonessential needs and demands of the company to encroach upon
their priorities.
My priorities all have blue eyes. They’re all girls. They all love
to laugh. They love me but they aren’t all that interested in how my
latest strategy session went. They just want me. They want me to be
emotionally engaged.
I don’t know if other husbands are better at tricking their
wives than I am, but I can’t seem to fake it when I’m distracted and
preoccupied with the details of my job. No matter how fun and con-
versant I try to be, Jessica knows. She can hear me thinking. She’s
very understanding, but I don’t want her to always need to be
understanding.
My leadership duties had kicked my rear end one week. I had
been in meetings every evening for about ten days straight. I was
working hard and getting a lot accomplished, but all I was bringing
home was my emotional leftovers. One night in the middle of this
stretch of time, I arrived home to find Jessica waiting expectantly for
my return. It had been another 12-hour day and I was exhausted. I
literally dragged my briefcase behind me into the house and flopped
onto the nearest couch with a sigh.
Jessica was completing a phone conversation, but she smiled at
me when I came in the door. She has a beautiful smile. When I saw
her smile and the sweetness of her expression, a conviction from the
Holy Spirit pierced my soul. It was late, but she was waiting up for
me. She was hoping to connect. She wasn’t even complaining that I
had been giving her leftovers.
I knew I had to change.
I jumped to my feet and motioned to her that I would be back
momentarily. I raced our car out of our driveway in an attempt to
reach Baskin Robbins before they closed. I shouted in the car. I
rolled down the windows and let the cold air slap my face until I was
fully awake. I repented. I made vows to the Lord that I wouldn’t give
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Focus on the Family
my highest and best to everyone during the day and then be too
spent to bless my family.
Well, I made it to Baskin Robbins and I made it to Blockbuster,
and Jessica and I had a wonderful in-house date. Our girls were
asleep, and we talked for hours.
I want to grow old with her in ministry. I want her and our girls
to know that they are adored. Jess and I are committed to teaching
our daughters that it is an honor to serve the Lord and His people;
however, we never want them to resent our lifestyle because of our
extreme busyness. Yes, we’re going to serve and lay our lives down,
but we’re also going to play the guessing game. We’re going to have
picnics and we’re going to shop. They’re going to love ministry.
They’re going to think that leadership is a pretty good deal.
You see, they’re really all I have. If I lose them, I lose my ministry.
It’s possible for an unsaved corporate executive to neglect cer-
tain areas of family priorities or personal morality and continue to
make a financial profit. As Christian leaders, though, we can’t lose
our families and then carry on as if nothing has happened. Our cred-
ibility is dependent on how well we cultivate and cover those closest
to us.
In addition to maintaining and growing a strong family com-
plete with traditions and dates and memories, Jessica and I also want
to develop some close friendships. We’ve decided that we don’t want
to try to live and lead alone. We want to grow old with some like-
minded, covenant friends.
I grew up in a small, rural town where community was every-
thing. Our life revolved around church and community events and
the deepest of friendships. I seem to recall falling asleep at friends’
homes nearly every evening while our parents laughed and talked
late into the evening. I want that. I want my girls to experience that
depth of friendship and love.
One of the young adult leaders in our church commented that a
problem with America today is the size of our front porches. They’re
shrinking. It used to be (and it was in my childhood) that life
87
occurred with friends and family on the front porch as stories were
shared and life was lived in community.
Unfortunately, the incredible demands of leadership make it
very difficult to cultivate those levels of relationship. I’m called to
lead and impact the world. So are you. If we want these types of rela-
tionships, they must be intentionally formed and facilitated, and that
takes time—which is a commodity of the highest premium for the
leader.
I know that everyone is busy. Our culture today is frantically
paced and it is only picking up steam. My cell phone seems intent on
disrupting any solitude I try to attain. Often, when I think I’ve com-
pleted my ever-growing to-do list, I’ll realize that I’ve forgotten to
return about 20 E-mails. When I finally complete my daily tasks, I’m
ready to give all of my remaining time to my family and friends.
In my position as executive pastor in the church, I’m constantly
juggling the requests of my senior leader with the needs of the staff
members as well as the needs of the congregation. I’m stretched in
three different directions.
I want to be a world-class executive pastor who makes my
leaders proud. I want them to wonder how they ever functioned
before I became a part of the team. I want them to feel served and
loved and supported. I want them to feel honored and safe and well-
represented to our people.
I also want to be an excellent leader for the leadership team
around me. I want my leaders to feel that they have landed on a gold
mine in my organization. I want them to thank God every day that
He has allowed them to work here. They’re wonderful leaders, and I
want them to feel appreciated and strengthened.
In addition to serving those above me and those around me, I
also serve ministry leaders in the church and individual members of
the congregation. I love them! It’s the greatest privilege of my life to
serve these people and to attempt to strengthen their relationship
with Jesus. I hope they discover who God has made them to be and
find deep satisfaction in pursuing His plan for their lives. I want them
to love serving in our church. They are a great assembly of people!
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Focus on the Family
The only problem is that I could spend nearly all of my time

wearing any one of these leadership hats. I could work full time just
maintaining the status quo of these three ministry venues. And you
well know that leaders hate the status quo. We’re called to bring
change. We’re called to advance. I want to take good care of my sen-
ior leaders and my staff and our congregation but I also want to
make tangible progress. I want to find innovative new ways to reach
the city of Colorado Springs with the gospel. I want to grow in my
understanding of church life and how to penetrate today’s culture
with a relevant message. I want to make sure that no one falls
through the cracks in our church. I want everyone to build relation-
ships and find fulfilling outlets for ministry. I want the church to
grow. I have a lot to do.
Oh, I realize that I’m probably carrying more than I need to. I
might be trying to do too much. But you probably are too. That’s the
way it is with leaders—especially the second-in-command leaders.
The right-hand man wants to make their boss look good and fulfill
their desires for the company. They want to complete all of the tasks
and vision of the leader. However, they themselves are also high level
leaders so they want to ensure that their own desires and standards
of excellence are performed.
My point in all of this is not to whine about my schedule.You’re
every bit as busy as I am. I’m sharing all of this in order to loudly
yell that things must change. You will be a better, more loving, more
excellent leader if you lead from a place of rest. If you take time to
refresh your family and your own soul, you will add far more value to
your organization.
Jessica and I have learned a powerful principle that has helped
us retain the priority of preserving family time. It’s actually a fright-
ening principle, and we’ve learned it the hard way. Simply stated it is
this: Excessive busyness opens the door for demonic attack. Let me draw
you into one of the worst nights of my leadership experience and
then I’ll discuss this dynamic.
I had come home late. Jess and the girls were already asleep. It
had been a good day. I felt like I had helped some people. I was
encouraged about the state of the various ministries in the church. I
89
was happy. Plus, there was a letter waiting for me on the counter
when I got home. Jessica is wonderful about writing notes and cards,
so I was excited as I anticipated what I thought would be a sweet
love letter. I was wrong.
It’s not that the letter wasn’t sweet (Jessica is one of the purest,
mercy-motivated people I know), but it was laced with steel. It
wasn’t an ultimatum letter, but it certainly got my attention. Our life
had to change. The pressures of life and ministry had begun to take
their toll and our family was growing weary. The joy had been
steadily slipping out of our lives. Our love was as deep as ever, but we
were losing the thrill of serving God and His people. We were
trapped on a treadmill of endless meetings with no real relationships
to show for it. We were faithfully giving our lives but we weren’t
really living our lives.
I’m not a workaholic by nature. Although a lot of great leaders
struggle in this area, it’s not my nature to lose myself in my career.
I’m a family man. My favorite thing is to jump on the trampoline
with my girls. I love to be home. However, as I’ve stated, the
demands of leadership can pull anyone into the tyranny of the
urgent. By the way, that’s exactly what it is: tyranny. I had become
enslaved.
What I realized from studying Jessica’s letter (and from subse-
quent prayer and conversations) was that we were under a full-scale
demonic attack. We learned in that season that if we allowed our life
to lose the rhythm of grace we would become vulnerable to our
enemy.
Jesus promised us an abundant life. In John 10:10, He said that
He had come that we might have life and “life more abundantly.” I
love how Eugene Peterson paraphrased Matthew 11:29. He said that
Jesus is calling us to “learn the unforced rhythms of grace” (TM). Some-
how we had lost the rhythm.
Satan will attack us with any means possible. He’s just as happy
with burnout as he is adultery. If he can’t get you to renounce God,
he’ll just get you to burn out in the service of God. If God is bless-
ing your business and satan can’t hurt you economically, he’ll try to
keep you so busy that you can’t enjoy the blessings.
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Focus on the Family
He knows that blessings can act like curses if not handled

properly. A growing church is a wonderful blessing, but it is also a
greatly increased workload. A successful business is every busi-
nessperson’s dream; however, when the dream comes true there are
many more customers with needs, expectations, concerns, and
potential problems.
The writer of the Proverbs said,“The blessing of the Lord…makes
rich and He adds no sorrow to it.”The Lord intends for His blessings to
enrich our lives. Satan tries to get them to enslave our lives with
added sorrow.
When I left my business and was ordained and installed in my
current ministry position, one of my mentors said to me, “Call me
when your dreams come true. That’s when you’ll really need me.” I
didn’t understand what he meant until I read Jessica’s letter. My
dream had come true—and my family was miserable.
That letter from Jessica kept me up all night. But it changed my
life. It really was a love letter. Sometimes love hurts before it can
heal.
Not only did I realize that busyness was taking a toll on us in
practical and emotional ways, but I also began to see how we were
being spiritually affected. The biblical pattern that the Lord used to
shed light into our situation was the study of Elijah’s encounter with
Queen Jezebel.
The prophet Elijah had done great things for the Lord. He had
killed the Lord’s enemies and performed signs and wonders by the
hand of God. He was a success. He called down the fire of God and
he outran the king’s chariot. However, he also reached a point of
emotional and physical exhaustion that precipitated his vulnerability
to Jezebel’s attack.
In a mere moment in time, Elijah switched from having
unflinching confidence in God to being discouraged to the point of
death. When he listened to the threats delivered by Jezebel’s messen-
ger, a spiritual force seeped into the exhausted places of his heart and
he eventually wanted to die. In fact, if you take a close look at the
91
passage you see that it took divine food, days of rest, and a visitation
from God to revive him.
Jessica and I have found that when we lose the rhythm of grace
we become more vulnerable to the Jezebel-like effects of spiritual
warfare. Do you remember some of those effects? Here are a few:
discouragement, loneliness, feelings of isolation, the sense that your
labor is in vain, despair, the sense that you have been forgotten by
God, fear, the desire to quit and, if unchecked, the desire to die.
That’s pretty heavy isn’t it? Does it seem dramatic to place this
much emphasis and power on a simple principle like time manage-
ment? I don’t think so.You probably don’t either. I would wager that
you have experienced most of these effects of Jezebel at some time in
your career.
It’s a simple fact that when people are worn out they are more
vulnerable. This vulnerability is not just physical or emotional, how-
ever. It’s spiritual. When a couple takes regular time for conversation,
dates, and prayer, they create a shield that the enemy cannot pene-
trate. It’s when the pace of life eliminates the time for that heart con-
nection that fears and mental doubts can ensue.
Communication dispels fear. If a couple is too busy to regularly
communicate, they become vulnerable to suggestions and impres-
sions from the enemy.
One of the purposes of the Sabbath rest is to restore the
rhythm of life so the doors of access are closed to the enemy of our
souls. Having time to play with your children shuts a door to fear. Of
course Dad loves me! He plays with me every day when he gets
home. Of course Mom thinks I’m great! She tells me all the time.
You and I do have time to fulfill the will of God for our lives.
Although He asks us take up our cross and follow Him, He doesn’t
ask us to sacrifice our families on the altar of busy service. He has
called you to a specific task in His Kingdom. It might be in the mar-
ketplace or it might be in the church. It might be in a medical clinic
or it might be in Hollywood. Regardless of what He’s called you to
and the demands that the calling entails, there is still time to live.
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Focus on the Family
Now, I’m not trying to be overly simplistic. I know it’s hard to

take control of our schedules. It’s a never-ending challenge for a
leader to balance the demands of the organization and the needs of
the family. However, it can be done.
I was praying about this issue recently and I felt inspired to
read the account of the Creation of the world. I always love to read
the Genesis account about how the Lord spoke all things into exis-
tence. There are fascinating studies available to us in the first few
chapters of the Bible. On this particular day I was checking in with
the Lord to see how I was doing in my different callings.
My first calling is as a Christian. After that I’m called as a hus-
band and a father. Finally, I’m a pastor. I felt like I had been doing
better at fulfilling my callings and maintaining the rhythm but I
wanted to see if the Lord would show me anything I might have
been missing. What He showed me was wonderful.
As I read the first chapter in Genesis, I was struck by the fifth
verse where God called the evening and the morning the first day. I
realized that in one of the first glimpses we have of God in the Bible
we see Him taking authority over time. We see Him telling time what
it will be called and where it will go and what it will do when it gets
there.“Evening and morning,” He said,“you’re one day.”
I realized then that I could do the same thing. My master is
Jesus. I shouldn’t be enslaved to anything but Him. I don’t have to
be the servant of time. I can tell it where to go. I can walk in domin-
ion and use it as my slave.
So can you.
How do you do it? It’s not easy. It’s hard for leaders to manage
the various roles of their lives and take time to be refreshed when so
much is expected of them. It’s a great challenge to withdraw for rest
and rejuvenation when the bottom line is directly linked to their
efforts.
It’s hard for all leaders, but I think it’s especially difficult for
business owners.
93
Business owners often feel enslaved to the demands of their

business. If they take a vacation, they feel a need to check in. They’re
always on call. They’re always available for the needs of their employ-
ees and customers.
Let me share some of the practical things Jessica and I have
done to take dominion over our time.
First, we identified the things that are essential for the health of
our marriage and family. For us, that entails daily couch time (where
we cuddle up with coffee and talk), weekly dates, time invested in
friendships, and large doses of play time and laughter with our
young daughters.
In addition to all of this, Jessica needs a break from the girls.
Stay-at-home moms (and single parents) are probably the hardest
workers of any group. Whenever I take the girls for an entire day, I
am humbled and renewed in my admiration for Jessica and how hard
she works. I often try to magnify this many times over in my mind
and imagine the sacrificial living that is done by single parents.
They’re amazing!
Jessica needs a break. She needs to laugh and, sadly for me, she
likes to shop. She needs to socialize with friends. I, however, need
solitude. I need time to think and process and be alone. To fulfill my
ministry calling, I need to spend a lot of time with the Lord in
prayer and study.
As we analyzed the state of our life, we prioritized all of the
above. We asked the simple question:“What are the activities that we
must have in any given week that enable us to stay refreshed, emo-
tionally strong, and inspired to do the work the Lord has assigned to
us?” Then we built our life around those activities.
It’s still a fight. It seems that if we slack off for even one week
we’re back on the slippery slope of busyness and discouragement. If
I lose dominion over time, I can feel those missiles of the enemy
launched at my soul, but at least I’m learning how to recognize them
now. I’m learning to keep the door closed. Thankfully, I’m learning
how to get off the treadmill.
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Focus on the Family
I don’t have time for everything, but I do have time to obey the
Lord. I have time to please my heavenly Father. I might have to skip
the season premiere of the latest reality television show, but I can be a
faithful Christian, husband, father, pastor, and friend. I can be faith-
ful to my calling.
So can you!
It’s crucial that we do—especially in light of the next topic.
95
The nation will find it very hard to look up to the leaders who
are keeping their ears to the ground.
-Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to

make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs
of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one
by the equality of his actions and the integrity of his intent.
-Douglas McCarther
Those who have attained things worth having in this world

have worked while others idled, have persevered when others
gave up in despair, have practiced early in life the valuable
habits of self-denial, industry, and singleness of purpose.As a
result, they enjoy in later life the success so often erroneously
attributed to good luck.
-Grenville Kleiser
Successful men do daily what unsuccessful men do occasionally.
-Pastor Brent Sparks

c h a p t e r n i n e
I OWN THIS THING
Effective associate leaders do not

work for pay. They own the organ-
ization. Oh, they might be salaried
employees with a set work schedule and clearly defined job duties;
however, they are far more than employees. They are owners. The
company is just as much theirs as it is the literal owner’s.
It has to be this way. Too much rests on the associate’s shoul-
ders for them to be a mere hireling. The weight of responsibility is
far too great to be carried by a hired hand. Only an owner, who truly
lives for the success of the organization, can adequately implement
the dream. Owning a company or leading a ministry requires a lot of
sacrifice from the leader. Great works are not built on banker’s
hours.
In saying this, I’m not advocating the plague of workaholism.
I’m speaking to the heart attitude. As I’ve previously discussed, I
prize my family time above all else. I’m determined to be there while
my daughters grow up. Theirs will not be the testimony of an absent
father. Having said this, though, I am fully aware that I’ll never
accomplish anything great for God if I approach my work as a mere
employee.
Let me clarify what I mean. Employees log time in exchange
for a paycheck. Owners work for an ideal. Hirelings do what must be
done to get paid. Visionary leaders work for the furtherance of a
97
dream. I’m grateful when payday rolls around but I didn’t respond
to the call of God so I could be the employee of a church. I want to
change the world.
I want to give my life for something that outlasts me. I want to
change the spiritual climate of my generation. I want to leave some
fruit that remains. I’ve experienced some tragedy and I’ve learned
that it has a way of crystallizing purpose.
My wife and I had a beautiful daughter who died when she was
three years old. The aftermath of that world-altering experience clar-
ified some things for me. I want to make it to Heaven so I can see her
again. I want to love my wife every day of my life. I don’t want to
waste a single day with my two other daughters. Life is hard. In fact,
it’s far too hard to just exist in it.
If I’m going to pay a price and lay my life down, I want it to be
for a great cause that does some good in the world. Life is too hard to
just work for weekends and holidays. Jessica and I love Hawaii, but
I’ve sat on the beaches of Maui and wept in the throes of hard grief.
Hawaii is not enough. Retirement is not enough. I want to give a
black eye to the evil in the world. I want my life to count.
I heard a haunting phrase escape the lips of a desperate man
the other day. His wife had left him and he hadn’t seen her in two
months. Shocked and reeling, he had begun writing love letters to
share his heart with her. The phrase that gripped my soul with the
fear of the Lord was when he said to me,“I wish I had started writ-
ing these letters to her 18 years ago.”
I don’t want to approach the twilight years of my life and say,
“If only I had lived for a higher purpose. I wish I had pursued what
really matters. I should have been writing letters all along.”
Owners embrace a present price to secure a future blessing.
Do you own your ministry? Do you own your company? I
know you serve your senior leader, but I hope you own the vision
every bit as much as he does. You can’t be an effective right-hand
man unless you do.
When we live this way, there is a weight of responsibility that
onlookers do not understand.
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I Own This Thing
Some employees may work longer hours than I do, but I take
the vision home. Of course there are perks that come to leaders, but
they also live under intense pressure.
One of the most stinging comments to me is when people ask,
“What exactly do pastors do all day?” I can assure you we don’t just
pray and play golf. We’re struggling to keep up. We’re fighting a mul-
tifaceted battle. We are fighting spiritual forces that want to with-
stand the advance of the Kingdom of God. We’re fighting against the
ills of society that have found their way into the lives of our parish-
ioners. We’re fighting the same fight that any business does with per-
sonnel and organizational challenges.
The statistics of many clergy families are frightening enough to
dissuade many young preachers from joining the ministry. Discour-
agement, stress, loneliness, and fatigue top the charts of descriptive
issues of the average pastor’s family in America.There’s endless pres-
sure to be there for the needs of hurting people. There are personal
expectations to represent Jesus well. There’s the naked feeling of
fishbowl living.
Why then do we do it? Why embrace the challenge? It’s cer-
tainly not for fame. It’s not for natural riches. Why do we pay this
kind of a price? We do it because we’re called. And we want to stand
as bastions of defense against a society that is in a moral free fall. We
own the vision.
So do you.
You wouldn’t be in your current ministry assignment if you
were only in it for love of self. You wouldn’t be striving to build a
godly company that provides jobs for families and pours wealth into
the advancement of His Kingdom if you were just hoping for a fat
401k.
Of course we want to prosper. God didn’t call us to poverty. He
called us to be a blessing. Even so, our motivation for what we do is not
merely to receive but to give. We’re giving our lives for a higher cause.
We’re owners.
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Owning the vision will have positive effects. Here are a few
examples:
First, it will bring security to your senior leader. It’s
important in serving your senior leader to know that he really does
carry a heavier weight than anyone else. You and I may handle the
bulk of the details and the tough personnel issues, but the buck stops
with him. It’s a great assurance for a senior leader to know that he’s
not alone in the harness.
The principle of synergy states that two individual parts, when
combined, can achieve more than the sum of their individual parts.
Even world class CEOs need to experience synergy. Even nationally
known ministry leaders need the synergistic strength of toiling
alongside a committed right-hand man. This dynamic brings secu-
rity to the leader. Knowing that they’re not alone during the sleepless
nights of prayer and desperation brings great peace.
Second, it will bring healing to the leader. As you well know,
it is impossible to lead without experiencing frequent criticism.
Sometimes I think people must mistake me for a pin cushion. There
must be something about leaders that inspires people to throw darts
and arrows. We all face criticism. It’s a byproduct of stepping up to
the plate.
If we, as second-in-command leaders, experience criticism, our
senior leaders do far more. If we own the vision with them, we’ll face
the criticism together and that will strengthen their heart.
Third, it will alleviate concern over the details. If I truly
carry my leader’s vision as my own, I will have a twofold motivation
for carrying it with excellence. I’ll want to please him and I’ll also
want to please myself. I’ll want him to look good, but I will want to
look good too.
My senior leader has a high level of excellence, but so do I. I
want to guard his reputation in every area. The more I guard his, the
more I guard mine too. I’m not just an employee. Our ministry is a
reflection of who I am. It’s not the source of my identity (that comes
from my Father), but it is an expression of it.
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I Own This Thing
One of the greatest compliments paid to Joseph in Scripture

came when it was said that none of his senior leaders (Potiphar, the
jail keeper, or Pharaoh) concerned themselves with anything under
Joseph’s care. When Joseph was in charge, his leaders were at peace.
Fourth, it lightens his load. I know this is a terribly obvious
point, but it is still worth mentioning. Heavy burdens lie on the
shoulders of the senior leader. Having a like-minded associate can lift
the weight of the world.
Titus did this for Paul. In Second Corinthians 8, Paul made a
couple of wonderful comments about Titus. He said that Titus had
the same “earnestness” of care for the Corinthians that Paul did. It’s
one thing for an employer to have an employee who does a good job.
It’s quite another to have one who possesses the same earnest care as
him. It’s a rare but wonderful thing to know that your associate
holds your burden and passion as his own.
Paul also said that Titus was his “partner.” The literal definition
of this word partner is to share in a mission. Paul’s mission was Titus’
mission. Titus’ was Paul’s. Paul was carrying the mandate to pene-
trate new nations with the gospel of Jesus Christ. Fortunately for
him and all of us today, he wasn’t carrying it alone. Titus was
strapped to the vision too.
Fifth, it will free the leader to dream. If my leader knows
that I’m implementing his vision as dutifully as if it were mine (since
it is mine), he’ll be free to dream. His job is to hear from God for the
direction of the organization. He doesn’t need to be concerned over
the daily operations.
Not only does being an owner serve to strengthen the organiza-
tion and the senior leader, but it will also provide specific benefits for
you. Let me list several benefits to the right-hand man who truly
owns the vision.
Favor. The assistant who truly carries his leader’s heart will
reap favor. This favor will come from both the senior leader and
the people you serve. Your people know if you’re an owner or a
hireling. Jesus said in John 10 that His sheep will not follow the voice
of a hireling.
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Increased authority. An owner is a boss. Those who own a

piece of the company have authority in the company.
The pleasure of God. An ownership mentality is in alignment
with Paul’s exhortation to approach all that we do for the approval
and glory of God. Owners get to carry a piece of God’s heart. I’m
not convinced that He will share much of His burden with someone
who is just living for payday. He likes to climb mountains with
Moses. He likes to visit Joshuas who remain in the tent of meeting
after everyone else is gone.
I want to please Him. I want God to smile on my ministry. Do
you know that He smiles through our leaders? When we serve them,
we’re really serving God. When we serve our people, we’re really
serving Jesus.
Let me conclude with one of my favorite quotes from Dr. Mar-
tin Luther King Jr:
What I’m saying to you this morning, my friends, is that
even if it falls your lot to be a street sweeper, go on out and
sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures; sweep
streets like Handel and Beethoven composed music; sweep
streets like Shakespeare wrote poetry; sweep streets so well
that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause
and say, “Here lived a great street sweeper who swept his
job well.”
I want the “well done” of Heaven more than anything else.
Don’t you? Is it realistic for us to think that we’ll get it from Heaven
if we haven’t first received it from those He has assigned for us to
serve here on earth?
Own the vision!
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If I advance, follow me! If I retreat, kill me! If I die, avenge

me!
-Francois De La Rochefoucauld
Powerful indeed is the empire of habit.
-Publilius Syrus
Entrepreneurs are the forgotten heroes of America.
-Ronald Reagan
c h a p t e r t e n
PROVERBS FOR THE

RIGHT-HAND MAN
I will always be grateful for him.

He changed my life in ways he
will probably never know. What
began as a chance encounter grew into a legendary friendship. (At
least that’s how I view it.) Let me tell you how I met him.
It was a hot, August morning in 1997 when he arrived to
replace me as watchman. Our church was hosting a summer-long
series of evangelistic meetings on the back of our property under a
massive, circus-sized tent. Since all of our sound equipment had
been carefully installed under the canvas canopy and was vulnerable
to passersby, the men in our congregation had volunteered to stand
watch around the clock.
I had volunteered for the 6:00 A.M. slot, and he came to relieve
me at 9:00 A.M. Up to this point he and I were casual acquaintances
at best, and I had no idea that he was obeying a prompting from the
Lord to engage me in a friendship. I thought it was mere chance
when we were scheduled for back-to-back guard duty. In hindsight I
realize that God Himself must have arranged our schedules.
My most distinct memory of him was when he entered the tent
with a massive biography of George Washington buried under one of
his arms. I asked him if he frequently read biographies and his reply
105
to my query became a core value in my development as a leader. He

said, “Who could be better instructors in leadership than George
Washington, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Teddy Roosevelt, Abe
Lincoln, or Mother Theresa?” He went on to say,“Anyone called to
leadership should become a student of the great leaders of our past.
When you let the lives and principles of great leaders instruct and
confront you, you will grow and develop in your own leadership
ability.”
I kept him company on his watch that day, and when I departed
for home I felt that I had been visited by an angel. I sensed destiny
hovering around our chance meeting. I was a better man and leader
after one simple conversation. I found myself excited for our next
shift of guard duty.
That was eight years ago. Since that initial encounter, he has
assumed many roles in my life. He mentored me in business (I
became his right-hand man in a start-up mortgage company); he was
a stalwart friend in my darkest hour (he held me in his arms as I
wept like a baby after the death of my first daughter); he has been
one of my biggest cheerleaders, and he inspires me to this day.
He wrote to me recently, saying:
I perceive a subtle but widespread groundswell of believ-
ers who are looking past the traditional systems and are
seeking to become living signs and wonders to their com-
munities. All around me I am seeing evidence of a much
more holistic style of Christian living, which appears to be
trying to unite our lives, finances, and time to represent a
total picture of what Christianity is supposed to be. I am
seeing a de-emphasis of the mystical and a focus on a
practical outworking of our faith in all areas. This includes
business, education, and social reform issues. I am curious
if you are seeing or sensing this yourself.
On a side note, I attended a powerful meeting last night.
The focus of the meeting was to recognize and facilitate
the exchange of wealth between Christian givers and the
ministries that depend on their generosity. It’s amazing to
see the wonderful things that are happening all over our
106
Proverbs for the Right-Hand Man
city to spread the message of Christ’s love. It really got

my mind turning and I’m excited to think about what
lies ahead for a church that is committed to a lifestyle of
generosity.
I always appreciate his observations and insights. Especially
regarding business and leadership. His calling to business is just as
strong as mine is to pastoring within a local church. He’s added a lot
to my life and leadership. Let me share some of the principles that he
lives by and constantly challenges me to attain. I’ll share them in
proverbs style. Some principles will connect to the ones before or
after them; others will seem more randomly placed. All of them will
benefit the second-in-command leader.
Do not bring your leader problems. Bring them solutions.
When confronted with a problem use your creativity and connec-
tions to come up with ideas to solve the problem.
Do not be afraid to contend in a positive way to persuade
the mind of your leader. Good leaders welcome a healthy exchange
of ideas and they respect well thought-out positions. In the end, you
might need to lay your opinions aside and move forward with the
decision of the leader; however, it is still a positive thing to dialogue
and even disagree.
Be a greenhouse of ideas. Seed your mind continuously with
ideas so that you will be able to bring creative, fresh concepts to your
organization.
Shun the spotlight and pick up the toilet brush. If you are a
person who is willing to deal with the tough, non-glorious problems
that a leader has, you will create an aura around yourself of trust,
dependability, and selflessness. This will carry you far.
Try new things. It is not sufficient to simply think of new ideas.
You should be willing to move them to the next level. Learn how to
take an idea from concept to implementation. Develop a system for
birthing new ideas on a regular basis. It is likely that eight out of ten
of them will fail. This is the burden of the leader. You must be pre-
pared to fail in order to uncover new concepts and new pathways to
success. Someone said,“It’s not called failure—it’s called education.”
107
Don’t just buy into the vision…customize it. Sure, your

leader or your organization has a vision for what they are there to
do, but you have to customize that vision to yourself. You have to
find ways to make the vision work for you and the best way to do
that is to match your gifts and talents up to it in the most efficient
way possible.
Dress well. How do leaders dress? Like leaders. They dress as
if they know where they are going. It’s true that God looks at the
heart, but we must still present a pleasant exterior.
Buy a day timer and learn how to use it. Ineffective time
management has been the bane of many leaders.
Accept responsibility for failure. One of the fastest ways to
lose credibility with your leader is to make excuses. They know that
people fail, drop the ball, and get distracted. Accept responsibility,
deal with the problems, and move on.
Don’t dwell on your failures. Another quick way to lose cred-
ibility with your leader is to dwell on your failures and host a pity
party. Failure is an INEVITABLE part of leadership. If your failures
cripple you from trying new things or send you into a cocoon of self-
evaluation, you should question your ability to be a leader. You must
find healthy ways to cope with and move past failure. One of the
most liberating quotes regarding failure came from President
Theodore Roosevelt. He said:
It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out
how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds
could have done better.The credit belongs to the man who
is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and
sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes
up short again and again, because there is no effort with-
out error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthu-
siasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a
worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the tri-
umph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he
fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place
shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew
neither victory nor defeat.
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Keep up with the times. Take time to invest in learning new

technologies that relate to successful organizations. Those business
and church leaders who ignore the advances of technology are on a
ride to cultural irrelevance and organizational stagnation.Technology
is a significant part of our country and times. It represents a host of
tools designed to enhance our ability to communicate. The efficien-
cies that these new tools bring into our lives are extraordinary. Any
prospective team member should be willing to learn them.
Do not be afraid to ask for or seek promotions. I believe
that one of the principles of Paul’s letter to Timothy was that it is not
only permissible, but desirable, to seek to be a leader. Organizations
are desperate to find skilled, committed, and loyal leaders. Do not be
afraid of letting your pride overtake you. Trust God to determine
whether or not you get the promotion, but plant the seed of oppor-
tunity by applying for any leadership position you have a desire (and
time) for.
Develop yourself as a communicator. Invest the time to read
a broad range of books, listen to books and lectures on tape, and vol-
unteer to communicate in any way that becomes available. Develop
your communication skills in every media you can think of: written,
electronic, spoken, etc.
Learn to keep a secret. Confidentiality breeds credibility.
This point cannot be over-emphasized. If you lose the trust of your
people, your leadership is lost. Someone once said, “Loose lips sink
ships.” The fastest way to lose credibility with those you lead is to
betray confidence. It’s important to remember that confidence is not
gained simply by promising not to tell. It is gained by keeping every-
one’s confidence. You don’t have to betray a person directly to lose
their trust—just betray other people’s confidence to them and they’ll
assume you’ll do the same to them.
Learn to relate to your senior leader’s spouse. The relation-
ship between the right-hand man and his senior leader’s spouse may
be one of the most delicate relationships he will have. It requires a
combination of great love and respect with huge doses of open and
honest communication.
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How should you relate to your senior leader’s spouse? What are
the boundary lines in your relationship? When should they defer to
you? When should you defer them? These are tough but very relevant
questions and they must be openly and freely discussed.
Let me offer a couple of pointers that will help to protect the
relationship between the right-hand man and the senior leader’s
spouse.
The spouse must be honored. They are leaders in their own right
and they carry a great weight of responsibility and ownership of the
vision. They should be honored for their relational status as the sen-
ior leader’s spouse and they should also be honored for their own
giftedness and anointing. They will have a wisdom and perspective
that is very necessary for the organization. Recognize and embrace
this.
There must be a clarification of the role of the spouse. Although
they should be honored as a leader, keep in mind that a lack of clari-
fication of their authority and responsibility can create confusion.
Any ambiguity in role, responsibility, or authority can be confusing
for the staff members who attempt to adhere to the established flow-
charts of authority.
The spouse must be in the loop of communication. It is incumbent
on senior leaders to communicate the vision—and the decisions of
implementation surrounding it—with their spouses. It is a very
awkward, uncomfortable thing if a spouse is left out of significant
decisions.
Maintain proper boundaries. Although a great friendship may
develop between you and your senior leaders, it is appropriate to
maintain respect and propriety in the relationship—especially with
your leader’s spouse.
If any of these areas need adjustment,communicate openly and hon-
estly about them. The following are some practical ground rules that
apply to communication in general but that are especially vital in
your relating with your senior leader’s spouse.
110
1. Remember that the relationship is more important

than the issue. If God sent you to work with your lead-
ers, the issue should take a back seat to the relationship. Of
course if it is an issue of conscience or morality, it must be
resolved satisfactorily, but if it is an issue of style or prefer-
ence or opinion, it should never take precedence over the
relationship.
2. If you need to confront, do it with a humble, appeal-
ing manner. Paul told Timothy to never rebuke an elder
but to entreat him as a father. Although in many ways you
are a peer with your leaders, don’t approach confrontation
from a peer level. Approach it with the respectful heart of
an appeal.
3. Use non-offensive terminology. Any time you can avoid
phrases that elicit defensive responses you will be ahead of
the game. Phrases like “you always do this” or “you make
me feel like” will get you nowhere. No one always does a
particular action. Few people intentionally set out to make
someone else feel bad. If you need to address issues of
personal conflict, say something like: “I was a little con-
fused when you said this or did that.” This gives them the
opportunity to share their heart and motives without feel-
ing attacked. When they clarify their intentions, you can
then say.“Thank you for clarifying things for me. Without
knowing your heart, I was beginning to feel hurt” (or frus-
trated or whatever the emotion might have been).
4. Allow them to respond in turn. We all have blind spots.
If we’re identifying a blind spot in someone else, there is
probably a high likelihood that we have one too. Some-
times I’ve been shocked because I have pressed for discus-
sion and an opportunity to express to someone how I had
been feeling only to discover that they had been feeling
hurt by me. When confronted, humility says,“Thank you.
Tell me more.”
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5. Establish a peaceful course of action. In a setting of

trust, love, and mutual respect, it is easy to walk out the
commitments that lead to health and relationship.
I want to conclude this chapter by looking at one more
“proverb.”
Learn to relate to visionary leaders. Many senior leaders are
visionary leaders who possess a unique mixture of strengths and
weaknesses that serve to make them both powerfully effective in
their calling as well as very challenging to work with.
A visionary leader is defined as the head of a group or organiza-
tion who has been entrusted with the vision for that group; this is
often a father figure, mentor, or one standing in an apostolic role.
The following outline (taken with permission from a teaching by
Michael Sullivant from the Metro Vineyard Fellowship in Kansas
City) provides great insight for working alongside these visionary
leaders that can be helpful in strengthening relationships with them.
1. Determine whether or not God has called you to work
with a particular visionary leader and to support his or her
vision. This is the basic and most important question. Of
course, a major part of this decision is determined by
whether or not the visionary leader is a righteous person.
Another basic factor: discerning if he wants you and trusts
you as a partner.
2. One of the characteristics of God’s visionary leaders is
that they have extraordinary confidence in their judgment
and their ability to lead. Although this is a genuine gifting
from God, this dynamic can make them more susceptible
to arrogance, so they need prayer in this area.
3. Visionary leaders often initiate in many areas with others
who have different gifts and capacities. This often causes
them not to be able to think about the totality of the
expanding work. This is exacerbated by the tendency we
all have to act as if the whole work is that particular part of
the work that is most important to us.
112
4. These visionary leaders also often experience loneliness in

their work and vision because…
a. Their confidence leaves others with the impression
that they do not need anyone else.
b. Their vision allows them to see ahead of others; so, in
things most important to them, rarely does someone
else’s vision totally encompass theirs. The gap
between their vision and that of others is where they
often stand alone.
c. They are typically not good at functioning as part-
ners. They are warm and affirming when they are
recruiting, but often less so with those who have
signed on for the long haul. The recruited person
comes to feel demoted [once he/she is onboard],
while the leader thinks he is affirming the person’s
maturity and value simply by allowing the new per-
son to assume his or her role on the team. In addi-
tion, the confidence that visionary leaders have in
their own judgment can make it difficult for them to
hear the Lord through others.They want others to be
partners, but often the press of the vision, and the
many decisions that go along with it, mean there is
not enough time to bring others in as the “party of
the first part,” even though this may be a sincere
desire. In some instances they want partnership in
implementing the work but not in making the deci-
sions about what should be done.
d. In the nature of their visionary work, they relate to
greater numbers of people than most. This is a prime
example of the principle that “The man with many
friends comes to a ruin.” Relationally, they often get
spread out and overcommitted.
e. Because many people want to be close to them for
selfish reasons, and they have often been burned in
relationships before, they hold people at a safe dis-
tance. (This is sometimes the reaping of what they
113
have sown, in that they have also drawn close to peo-

ple for the sake of their own vision.) There is a pres-
sure to be relationally utilitarian.
f. There can be a high turnover rate of subordinates
who did not understand or tolerate these dynamics.
5. How do I relate to these gifted leaders?
a. Pray for them, especially when you are involved in a
project with them.
b. Support wholeheartedly all that you hold in agree-
ment with them.
c. When you have questions that leave you unsure,
assume the best and trust their gift of vision.
d. When you think they may be misled, direct con-
frontation is really the best approach. Since their
God-given confidence can make it difficult to present
differing points of view, try asking questions about
issues as a helpful way to move into discussions.
e. Encourage them to have contacts with other peer
ministers and visionaries who can challenge and
stimulate their thinking in ways that others cannot.
f. Encourage them to value the gift of others rather
than seeing the Body of Christ only as people who
can be employed in their vision.
g. Walk with the Lord and be a part of a team so you do
not “need” the approval or blessing of the visionary
leaders. Having others in your life can meet some of
your need for equal partnership.
h. Make it a goal to consistently affirm these leaders
because they need encouragement more than they
appear to.
i. Be loyal! Guard against disloyal comments to others,
especially to those who (for right or wrong reasons)
114
have a grievance. Be careful when you “defend” them

so as not to uncover the weaknesses you see so
clearly, and thus defame their character. One way to
deal with situations that arise is to agree with legiti-
mate criticisms and show the criticizer how to cope,
rather than denying that the visionary leader has a
weakness.
j. Write your thoughts, concerns, or thanks briefly,
rather than initiating conversations. This can be an
effective way to keep your “relational fire” burning.
k. Ask for appointments when you need them; they [the
senior leader] will probably not take initiative with
the low-maintenance long-termers.
l. Don’t expect a lot of socializing (or hang time) with
them. Their low need for this does not seem normal!
Their vision is their entertainment.
m. Pressure them to take vacations.They will be grateful
you did.
n. Protect them from administrative details. Encourage
them to delegate.
o. Don’t expect appreciation from them for figuring all
this out!
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He who has never learned to obey cannot be a good commander.
-Aristotle
There is no worse mistake in public leadership than to hold out

false hope soon to be swept away.
Every man who takes office…either grows or swells, and when

I give a man an office, I watch him carefully to see whether he
is swelling or growing.
-Thomas Woodrow Wilson

c h a p t e r e l e v e n
I KISSED HIM!
I couldn’t believe I had done it.

Where had I gone wrong? When did
deception enter my heart? Sure, I
had been struggling for a while,but my concerns were very valid.I knew we
needed to work some things out, but how could I have kissed him? I’m no
Judas. I’m loyal. How could I have been found holding the knife?
✦✦✦✦✦
I’m afraid we have to do it. We have to examine the topics of

loyalty and betrayal. We can’t escape them. They are crucial for a
study of the servant-leader.
I have felt the sting of offense pierce my heart on numerous
occasions. I have even toyed with the tantalizing temptation to dis-
loyalty. Of course, I never planned to do it. I didn’t set out to develop
a bad attitude toward my boss. It usually starts innocently. I believe
that very few people set out to betray. I know that Judas didn’t.
Judas believed Jesus was the Messiah. He intended to follow
Him to the end. He wasn’t a traitor at heart. In fact, Judas was
fiercely loyal. He was a man of passion.
He was a member of the zealot party, the intensely devout reli-
gious group that longed to see the Kingdom of God established to
overthrow the oppressive Roman regime in Jerusalem.
117
Jesus chose Judas to be His disciple. Remember, Jesus did noth-

ing randomly or arbitrarily. He was a man of purpose and intention-
ality. He prayed all night before selecting the 12 who would be
ordained to be with Him. He wanted Judas. He saw something of a
zealous warrior in his soul and He wanted him on His team. In fact,
Jesus trusted him enough to commission him to serve as the treas-
urer for the ministry.
We all know that financial decisions are reserved for the most
trusted confidants. The newest employee of an organization is not
usually privy to the salaries of the senior staff or the budgets of the
various departments. Those facts are reserved for those who truly
need to know and can be trusted with the information. Jesus trusted
Judas with the finances of His ministry, and His trust was not ill-
founded. He didn’t choose a con man in the hopes of rehabilitating
him. He saw greatness in Judas.
How then did Judas end up holding the knife? How was it that
his lips bore the kiss of betrayal during the darkest night of Jesus’
ministry? What happened?
The answer is very frightening because none of us are immune to
it.You see, Judas was betrayed first. His own expectations betrayed him.
As a member of the zealot party, he was confident that Jesus
had come to overthrow the Roman government. He didn’t expect
Jesus to surrender to the Romans. He expected fire from Heaven to
ignite the Roman crosses that littered the ditches of the Jerusalem
roadways. He didn’t expect his salvation to expire and die on one.
Judas was not a betrayer at heart. He would never have dreamed
that a disappointing revelation would begin a chain of events that
would eventually lead him into a covenant with the enemy.
Betrayal begins in our hearts when our expectations betray us.
Beware of disappointment. If we break the word down, we see
an appointment with a negative clinging to it. Judas’ expectation
turned bitter and he began looking for 30 pieces of silver with which
to betray Jesus.
Judas is probably the most famous traitor in history. There
was another case of betrayal in Scripture, though, that warrants an
118
I Kissed Him!
evaluation too. This case involves a father and a son. The father’s
name was David. The son’s was Absalom.
Please journey with me several centuries into our past and
observe their relational dynamics.We can learn some insights from this
father and son that might save our ministry. Our tour guide is speaking.
✦✦✦✦✦
“King David is in the palace. We haven’t seen much of him

lately. I’m sure he’s very busy with the demands of the kingdom.
He’s built quite a name for himself. The people love him. Israel is
feared by the nations of the world.
“Do you remember his resumé? His career started when he lib-
erated Israel from the fear of Goliath. No one has forgotten that. He
was a legend before he was 20 years old. Then he became a prince
when he married Saul’s daughter. Of course, in order to marry her,
David was required to pay a gruesome dowry of 100 foreskins of
Philistine warriors. It was here that his heart was truly seen because
instead of doing the required minimum for his bride-to-be, David
risked his life and brought her father 200 foreskins.
“He rose to such prominence through his military exploits that
the maidens of the land swooned as they sang,‘David has slain his ten
thousands!’ He was the ultimate warrior-king. He conquered nation
after nation. He wasn’t afraid to personally lead the troops into bat-
tle, and the people have always been secure with him as their king.
“There is another aspect to his greatness, though. He’s not just
a valiant warrior—he’s also a deeply spiritual man. In fact, he has
restored national pride and commitment to the God of our fathers.
It was he, not Saul, who sought out the Ark of the Covenant so the
manifest glory of God could be seen in our midst again. He’s cur-
rently storing up the materials for a permanent temple for our God.
We truly love him.
“However…we haven’t seen much of him lately. I’m sure he’s
very busy.
“We do see Absalom, though. In fact, he’s standing right over
there. What a handsome man! He’s the real deal. Someone with his
119
looks and station in life would usually be aloof and withdrawn, but
not Absalom. He’s at the city gate nearly every day.
“I think his greatest gift is exhortation. He’s encouraged me
personally on several occasions. I’m shocked that he even remem-
bered my name. I love David, but I’m sure glad that Absalom is
around to help him.”
✦✦✦✦✦
Were we to fast-forward a couple of months we would see a

very different sight. We wouldn’t see the humbly smiling Absalom
encouraging the people at the gates. We would see him proudly
entering the tent of his father’s concubines. We would see him mov-
ing his own furniture into the king’s palace. We would see anarchy.
Where is David? Has he already transitioned the reins of the
kingdom to Absalom? Does he know that Absalom is sleeping with
his wives? Is he here? Is he dead? Oh, I see him now.
He’s fleeing! He’s barefoot and his head is bowed as he and his
closest supporters depart the city. His mighty men want to fight, but
he’s ordered them to run. What on earth has happened?
It’s very simple really. Absalom betrayed him.
It doesn’t make sense! Why would a son betray his father? As
with Judas, the answer is very simple—and frightening.
Absalom got hurt. David hurt him. It started many years ago.
The unthinkable had happened. Absalom’s brother, Amnon, fell
in love with his half-sister,Tamar, and in an angry moment of lust, he
raped her and then banned her from his presence. Word of the crime
reached their father’s ears, and then the unthinkable happened again.
David did nothing.
No one knew what he was thinking. He was such a righteous
man that it just didn’t make sense—especially for Absalom. He felt
betrayed by David. His father should have been there in agreement
with his anger. He certainly should have been there for his own
daughter.
120
I Kissed Him!
The seeds of betrayal were sown deep inside the furrow of

Absalom’s wound. Was he justified in his anger? Of course he was.
Was he more righteous than David in his indignation? Absolutely.
However, he didn’t realize that the devil is a sower too.
It’s not just God who sows. Jesus told us that He delights to
sow the good seed of His word into our hearts, but He also told us
that satan sows too. He sows thistle seeds along with the fruit seeds.
He sows tares in and among the wheat. He is there to sow seeds of
betrayal when wounds have plowed the soil of our hearts.
He got to Absalom. If we’re not careful, he can get to us too.
Well, Absalom got his revenge. He had Amnon murdered, and
later had his father David sprinting from the city. Unfortunately,
betrayal always ends in death. The final glimpse of Judas was him
hanging from a tree (that is until the rope broke and he fell into a
bloody heap on the ground of the potter’s field).
In his final portrait, Absalom was not enjoying his newly won
kingdom. He was hanging from a tree. His beautiful, long hair acted
as a noose, and three spears protruded from his side. He had been
killed by Joab—another betrayer at heart.
Don’t you feel uplifted now? Aren’t you a little more inspired to
serve as a leader after these stories? We will be if we learn. There are
several insights that this gruesome tale affords us.
First, it is imperative that senior leaders address the issues
of their kingdom. It should never be left to sons to deal with their
father’s issues. The son isn’t graced for it. David should have dealt
with Amnon (according to the law of their day). His failure to act
cost him two sons.
If your senior leader fails to address problems in your organiza-
tion, he sets you up for a dangerous fall. He needs to address and
resolve the delicate issues. I’m not saying that you aren’t wise
enough or skilled enough to navigate the challenges and bring a
healthy resolve to them. I’m saying that if he refuses to face them, he
risks setting you up for offense and losing the faith of the people.
I realize that this might be a confusing point, since part of your
job is to help your senior leader. You probably handle a hundred
121
awkward moments and situations every year on his behalf. Most of

that is probably appropriate and necessary.
I never ask my senior leader to do my job for me. I’m not afraid
to step up and tackle the challenging situations. However, the issue
isn’t about my ability to resolve conflict as much as it is about find-
ing the healthiest way to resolve that conflict. Sometimes the people
need to hear from him. Sometimes the word and wisdom of the
right-hand man isn’t enough.
Let me offer a few guidelines to help you know when the situa-
tion mandates the involvement of the senior leader. I believe the sen-
ior leader should be involved if the matter includes any of the
following:
1. Conflict with a significant leader in the organization.
2. Significant disciplinary action.
3. Decisions that will affect the course of direction for the
company.
4. Parties who have a lengthy history of relationship with the
senior leader.
5. Major relational disputes among the senior staff.
These guidelines certainly aren’t all-inclusive and they will
require some discussion and clarification between you and your senior
leader. The point is simply that there are certain situations that should
only be handled by the senior leader (or at least with his input). Talk
about these parameters of authority. Ask the question: “What can I
handle on my own and what do you want to have a voice in?” Discus-
sion in advance can spare Absalom’s confusion later on.
Second, if senior leaders fail to address an issue, it is incum-
bent on the second in command to challenge the senior leader.
David failed to discipline Amnon, but Absalom didn’t have to betray
David because of it—rather, he could have challenged him. A careful
study of this biblical account shows us that Absalom bit his tongue
and allowed the hurt to turn bitter. Who knows how history might
have been different had he courageously spoken up. Perhaps we would
have a record of Absalom’s Temple instead of Solomon’s Temple.
122
I Kissed Him!
Is it intimidating at times to confront your senior leader? Of

course it is! It shouldn’t be necessary to do it very often, though. If
you’re constantly confronting your senior leader, either you are out
of line or your senior leader isn’t leading. If it is the latter, you may
want to ask the Lord if you should still be following him.
Let me suggest a few pointers on how to challenge your leader:
1. Appeal—don’t confront. Paul exhorted Timothy to
entreat an elder as a father versus delivering a sound
rebuke. How do you appeal? You boldly present your case
from a posture of humility and respect. The Lord didn’t
assign you to your leader to change him; however, there will
be times when decisions or attitudes need to be challenged.
2. Appeal in private. I once heard someone say that “Loy-
alty in public yields leverage in private.” Your leader
should never fear that you might challenge him in front of
the staff or the parishioners or the customers. He needs to
know that you have his back. If you need to challenge him,
do it, but do it in private.
3. Don’t accuse or attack. Couch your appeal in the form
of a question.Ask him to explain why he did or said things
the way he did. Tell him,“I was a little confused when you
said that, because it came across like….” A blunt rebuke
doesn’t go very far with anyone-let alone your boss.
4. Use the term “we” versus “you.” Instead of saying, “I
think you handled that poorly in there” or “I totally dis-
agree with you on this one,” use terms like “I was a little
concerned by our last meeting” or “Let’s process a little
because I’m not sure that was handled quite right.”
5. If he holds fast to his decision, support him (unless
his decision is unbiblical or unethical). If he is not
motivated by the principles of Scripture, then you must
decide if God is calling you to remain at his side. There
are some decisions you will disagree with from a practical,
logistical standpoint. Those you can flex on. There are
other decisions, however, that cross moral lines. Don’t let
your name be associated with those.
123
6. If he defers to your suggestion, share the credit with

him. Don’t share with the staff that you disagreed with
him and that he came around to your way of thinking.
Honor him.
7. If he is unwilling to address the issue and you feel you
have no choice but to leave, leave appropriately. Many
wounded leaders have failed to leave appropriately and,
consequently, have left a wake of disillusioned, hurting fol-
lowers behind them. Let me comment on this delicate
point by quoting from Gene Edwards’s book, A Tale of
Three Kings.1 In this classic story on biblical authority,
Edwards aptly writes about the only appropriate way to
leave a Kingdom after all biblical options for restoration
and resolve have been tried but to no avail:
How does a person know when it is finally time to
leave the Lord’s anointed…?
David never made that decision.The Lord’s anointed
made it for him. The king’s own decree settled the
matter…
Only then did David leave. No, he fled. Even then, he
never spoke a word or lifted a hand against Saul. And
please note this: David did not split the kingdom
when he made his departure. He did not take part of
the population with him. He left alone.
Alone. All alone. King Saul II never does that. He
always takes those who “insist on coming along.”
Yes, people do insist on going with you, don’t
they?
They are willing to help you found the King-
dom of King Saul II.
Such men never dare leave alone.
1. Gene Edwards, A Tale of Three Kings (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House

Publishers, Inc., 1980, 1992), pp. 27-28.
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I Kissed Him!
But David left alone. You see, the Lord’s true

anointed can leave alone. There’s only one way to
leave a kingdom:
Alone.
All alone.”
What I’m offering here is not a coaching on office politics. What
I’m presenting is the heart of a loyal supporter.When Joab conquered
the city of Rabbah, he contacted David and said, “You’d better get
over here and march through the city first or else the people will give
me the credit for this victory.” That’s the heart of a right-hand man.
It was Joab who had achieved the victory, but he knew that he
needed to keep the loyalty of the people firmly attached to David.
Third, unresolved hurt is a fast track toward offense. It
wasn’t Absalom’s fault that Amnon raped his sister. It wasn’t his
fault that David failed to respond. Absalom was justified in his out-
rage. His problem was that he kept his wound concealed—at least for
a little while.
It was exposed when he stood at the gate soliciting the favor of
the citizens.
Fourth, be careful with your encouragement. Absalom
stole the hearts of the people of Israel when he encouraged them at
the gate. Encouragement is powerful because it always strengthens
decisions and resolve. While David was absent, Absalom encouraged
the unrest in the hearts of the people. The result: the people trans-
ferred their loyalty from a godly, selfless leader into the hands of an
encouraging young man who had done nothing of any honorable
significance.
In the following chapter, we will explore some more of the
practical landmarks of the disloyal spirit as well as the dynamics of
healthy encouragement. Part of your role as the second in command
is to keep your finger on the pulse of your people. How do you
encourage them if their hurts and complaints are leveled at David?
How do you respond if they dreamily sigh, “If only you were in
charge”? Many an Absalom have hung from the branches of a tree
because they failed this test.
That is not our destiny!
125
Learn to obey before you command.
-Solon
What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die

for the liberty of the world that will not make the little sacri-
fice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual
bondage.
-Bruce Barton
One of the true tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a

problem before it becomes an emergency.
-Arnold Glasow
c h a p t e r t w e l v e
IF ONLY YOU
WERE IN CHARGE!
I just don’t get it. Absalom was

never known for performing
noble exploits. He built a statue in
his own honor. He had his brother murdered. He was vain. In fact, it
was a public event whenever he would cut his hair. He wasn’t a God-
worshiper. How could he have stolen the hearts of the people from
David? How could they have left their righteous leader to follow his
arrogant son? What did Absalom do that elicited such a following
from people?
The answer is very simple. He encouraged them.
Is that all? Isn’t that a good thing?
Sometimes.
Before we dissect the dynamics of healthy encouragement, let
me point out the obvious. Most every organization has someone
involved with it who is discontented and unhappy. There are no per-
fect businesses and there are no perfect churches. No matter how
wonderful you are as a leader someone will find your flaw. I don’t say
that with any conscious cynicism. It’s simply the truth. Some people
will get hurt, and they will get hurt while involved with you and me.
Acknowledging that does not excuse hurtful behavior on the part of
any leaders, and it certainly doesn’t minimize the feelings of those
who are hurt. It just brings a clarifying perspective.
127
I was a little surprised to discover that not everyone in our

church thought I hung the moon. I don’t say that out of pride. I say
it out of the common mind-set of leaders: We judge ourselves by our
motives. Others judge us by our actions. I never mean to hurt anyone,
but sadly, it does happen sometimes.
I have a pastor’s heart and I want everyone in our church to
connect and form relationships and receive meaningful ministry.
Unfortunately, there are some people who visit our church and
never want to return. You don’t have to look very hard to find some-
one who has been disappointed or disillusioned in any ministry or
organization.
Here’s the challenge: These disappointed souls often find their
way into the office of the second in command. If not skillfully han-
dled, the encouragement provided there can become deadly.
Here’s how it happened with me.
Like Judas and Absalom before me, I never intended to turn
disloyal. I love my senior leader and I truly enjoy working with him.
I wouldn’t have staked my allegiance to him if I didn’t believe that
God’s hand was on his life and that I was called to serve him. I sin-
cerely believe that the Lord is grading me based on how faithfully I
serve in my current position.
I don’t have a problem communicating with my boss. He and I
have a wonderful relationship. We relate on several fronts and we’re
both comfortable with each of them. We’re colleagues. We’re friends.
We’re co-laborers in ministry. We have an employer-employee rela-
tionship. It’s great. There are no issues in any of these roles. How was
it then, that I began sharpening my knife?
I think I was standing at the gate. By the way, that’s a good place
for a right-hand man to stand. It wasn’t betrayal for Absalom to
stand in the gate. That’s where the people are.
A wonderful responsibility and blessing for the right-hand man
is that they often have significant contact with the general assembly
of people.That’s important to me because I don’t want to pastor from
a distance. I want to know the people. I realize that as ministries and
128
If Only You Were in Charge
businesses grow, the emphasis of the senior staff must shift to

strengthening the various leaders of the organization. The Jethro
model (see Exod. 18) is still wise; however, there is always a need to
know what is in the hearts of the individuals that comprise your
organization.
That’s what Absalom was doing. That’s what I was doing. The
problem is not in exploring the heart condition of the people. The
problem begins when that exploration turns ugly, and, sadly, it often
does.
I don’t quite understand why ten compliments can be wiped
out by one criticism. Ten families can join our church, and I’m still
devastated by the one who leaves in offense. I’m not sure if that’s a
good pastor’s heart or if it reveals a need for more security in me. All
I know is that when the people express their frustrations or criti-
cisms, it is a vulnerable time for an associate leader—especially when
those criticisms are leveled at the senior leader.
First of all, they shouldn’t be coming to you. Jesus said that if
we have an issue with our brother or sister, we should go directly to
them. He didn’t say, “If you need to resolve conflict, go to your
brother—unless your brother is also your senior leader. In that case,
go to a different brother and get prayer or go to the associate leader
and get wisdom.” He said go to your brother. If people would do
this, one of three things would happen:
1. The senior leader could share his heart and perspective,
and healing and resolution would then occur.
2. The senior leader would eventually see a blind spot in his
life and would receive an opportunity to change.
3. The people could leave with a clear conscience before God
and without a wake of hurt behind them.
What I have found, far too often, is that rather than biblically
approaching the senior leader, people come to me. It’s probably
equally true that if they have a concern with me they go to a differ-
ent staff person.
129
I don’t mean to come across as too insensitive toward people

who feel that they need wisdom regarding the best course of action.
On the other hand, there is grave danger that occurs when the course
of action doesn’t include direct communication between them and
the involved brother.
Back to my story. I was sharpening my knife.
I had begun to develop a concern about a particular area in our
church. I felt that it was an area that needed the attention of our sen-
ior pastor, so I began to consider the best way to approach him about
it. As I was considering it, several people shared their frustration
with me regarding the same issue. Their frustration fueled my own,
and before I realized it, I was standing in the center of Absalom’s
crossroad. What would I do with their concerns?
Since I myself was frustrated and concerned, would I elicit
their loyalty and support? Would I speak the language of Absalom,
which says things like: “You’re absolutely correct” and “I completely
agree”? Would I tell them that “I’m concerned over those very
issues” and “I’ve been praying about how to address those exact con-
cerns”? Or would I respond like Jesus and say,“Go to your brother.
If you’re nervous, I will pray for courage. If you think you’ll back
down, I’ll grab your hand right now and we will resolve this. One
way or the other we will bring healing and restoration. None of us
will walk around with the poison of offense flowing through our
veins.” Let me quickly clarify that having a concern doesn’t mean
that we’re poisoned. We will have concerns at times; however, unre-
solved concern can turn to poison quite easily.
Absalom’s style of speaking never promotes confrontation and
subsequent healing. It simply encourages the concerned person’s
point of view. My agreeing with someone’s concern and leaving it at
that does nothing more than justify their frustration in their own
mind. It doesn’t serve to promote a resolution of the problem. Before
we offer blanket encouragement of someone’s concerns we should
ask them:
1. Have you gone to this person to try to resolve this?
2. Do you know all of the facts?
130
3. Do you know what the other party was thinking?

4. Have you spoken with anyone else about this?
5. What does the Bible say you should do in this situation?
6. Before you offer them any counsel, remember that
Proverbs 18:17 says,“The first to plead his case seems right.”
These questions apply regarding any area of hurt or frustration,
but they are especially important if the concern is directed toward
the senior leader. I wish I had remembered to practice them.
Instead, I allowed my frustration to build.
My frustrations were valid. In reality, though, they were proba-
bly only about a four on the scale of one to ten in severity. A four is
still valid, but somehow it quickly grew. With each person who
shared the same concern, I began to wonder if my concerns were
really a five or a six. I should have known better. I should have run
into his office and said, “Help me process what’s happening in my
heart.” Instead, I began to watch for further instances.
Sure enough, I saw them. I think we always see certain prob-
lems when we look for them. Each time I saw them I grew more con-
cerned. Each time someone shared their concern, I grew a little more
indignant and a little more encouraging.
Before long, my little level-four frustrations had become
unbearable. I had gone from being a little bit concerned to genuinely
hurt. I had gone from thinking we needed to tweak some of our pro-
cedures to thinking our ship was sinking.
Eventually, I couldn’t bear it. Someone had to speak up. Some-
one had to lead.
So I called him. And I unloaded.
I’m so embarrassed about it now. My concern really was valid,
but it was still only a four on a scale of one to ten.The bigger problem
was that my Absalom attitude was now a seven or an eight. How had
I become offended? Where did it begin?
131
I think it started when I didn’t share my initial concern with

him. I think it was compounded the first time I listened to someone
confirm my concern. After that, it was all downhill. Every observa-
tion of the perceived problem was fuel to the fire until it grew from
something that simply needed adjusting to something I thought was
a true injustice.
Had I addressed my concerns initially, three things would have
happened:
1. He would have taken ownership where necessary.
2. He would have shared some wisdom that wasn’t available
to me in my current position.
3. We would have fixed the problem.
As it happened, we did fix the problem, but we also caused
some damage in the process.
Let me list the progressive steps of disloyalty without the nar-
rative. Disloyalty usually follows this pattern:
1. A wound occurs.
2. The wound is not discussed.
3. A sense of injustice develops.
4. Others (whether innocently or intentionally) confirm the
sense of injustice.
5. We become keenly aware of similar injustices.
6. We feel the need to champion the cause of these injustices.
7. We blame the leader for the injustice (without having
given them the opportunity to make it right).
8. We grow resentful.
9. We feel justified in receiving the loyalty of others.
10. We begin sharpening our knife.
Betrayal always develops out of an offense, and offenses are
always birthed out of a wound. Therefore, the surest way to remain
132
free from the spirit of Absalom is to immediately resolve all hurts.

You will get hurt. Your senior leader will hurt you. Go to him!
Appeal to him! Share your heart! Cry! Take ownership for any part
that you may have handled poorly. Extend grace. Forgive so you can
be forgiven.
Remember, the devil has you in his sights. If he can get you to
fall, he’ll damage your senior leader. Don’t make the mistake of
thinking you’re not a target. You’re one of the biggest targets in your
organization. Surprisingly, he targets you through the confessions of
the people you serve.
I certainly hope it doesn’t sound like I think the average church
member or business employee has a bad attitude. I absolutely do
not. What I’ve found though is that I’m just not strong enough to
absorb their hurts and concerns.
Neither are you.
I can’t listen to someone’s offense without eventually getting
stained by it.That’s the nature of bitterness—it defiles.To be faithful
to my calling and my leaders, I must be an agent of resolution. I
must direct them to the Lord and their offending brother. Anything
beyond that puts me in Absalom’s crossroad.
When hurt by my leader I have no alternative but to share my
heart with him. Sure, it might be difficult and it might get a little
ugly before it gets fully resolved, but I’d rather face the gore of con-
frontation than the gore of my own innards spilling on the ground of
the potter’s field.
As the second in command, you will experience conflict with
your leader and you will also be the sounding board for the hurts and
concerns of your people. Remember, darts stick; they don’t bounce.
The darts of offense will be thrown and they will sometimes stick.
It’s okay if they hit you, but you must get them out immediately.
This is one of the greatest tests you will face, but Jesus wouldn’t
have allowed you to face it unless He was confident that you would
pass. When He looks at you, He doesn’t see an Absalom.
He sees a David.
133
We were always dreaming of how it was going to be.
-George Lucas
I don’t dream at night, I dream all day; I dream for a living.
-Steven Spielberg
Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the
price to make them come true.
-Anonymous
Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the

hearts of men.
-Goethe
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their

dreams.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
-Erma Bombeck
c h a p t e r t h i r t e e n
TELL ME YOUR DREAMS
“Nothing happens until someone

starts to dream!”
“Let your dreams carry you to the front door of the impossi-
ble!”“Live your life in such a way that you’re absolutely bound to fail
if God doesn’t show up!”
“What would you risk for God if you knew you couldn’t fail?”
I was eating it up. My pastor was preaching on the common
denominators of organizations that grow. He said this about success-
ful individuals or corporations:
1. God uses the person who has a dream.
2. God uses the person who expects their organization to
grow.
3. God uses the person who is willing to risk failure.
4. God uses the person who doesn’t know how to quit.
This particular sermon marked me. I determined from that
moment on that I would dream big for God. I determined to live
and act like God really is big and on my side.
135
This sermon was the conclusion of a wonderful series entitled

“Building Unshakeable People in Shakeable Times.” It was one of
my favorite studies in the Bible—an evaluation of the life of Joseph.
He was the perfect picture of a successful right-hand man. He pos-
sessed great leadership skill, the ability to dream, and impeccable
character. He rose to the second highest rank in the most powerful
nation of his day without ever once compromising his integrity. His
life teaches us that if we stand firm on a strong bed of character
while simultaneously dreaming as high as the stars, the Lord will
promote us until our leaders trust us fully and even Pharaoh calls us
“father.”
He didn’t always have this strength of character. It was beaten
into him. I imagine yours didn’t come to you easily either. It never
does. Great character is not formed in a college classroom—it’s
birthed alone in the dark during the crucible times of life. That’s
where leadership is born, too. Let’s look at Joseph’s story for a few
minutes from a leadership perspective.
Joseph was a dreamer who possessed a very special gift. In fact,
it’s probably the most important gift that a leader can possess. He
had the ability to interpret and release the dreams of others.
“Behold the dreamer!”That’s what his brothers said when Joseph
approached them from a distance. The colorful coat of their father’s
love hung loosely around his muscular, young frame, and they could
still hear his boastful words:“I have dreamed a dream!” Little did they
know that before the night was out, they would betray him, contem-
plate his murder, and ultimately sell him into slavery where he would
die a thousand deaths and then be promoted as one of the most
powerful men in the most powerful nation of their day. Little did
they know that they would one day beg for bread from his hand.
They scoffed,“Behold the dreamer!”
Joseph dreamed a dream that his family would bow down
before him—and he awoke on the back of an Ishmaelite camel on his
way to a nightmarish season of pain, suffering, and favor beyond his
wildest dreams.
136
Tell Me Your Dreams
That’s the way it is with dreamers. God uses the dream to test
and refine the dreamer so that their character can withstand the
pressure that will accompany the fulfillment of the dream.
The jealousy of his brothers landed Joseph as a slave in Egypt
in the household of Potiphar, Pharaoh’s chief executioner.
It was there, in a foreign, fearful place, that Joseph displayed his
greatness. He began to serve. The hand of the Lord was upon him,
and he served Potiphar with such excellence and skill that the entire
household prospered. He grew in strength and favor until Potiphar
didn’t even bother to concern himself with anything under his care.
He trusted Joseph implicitly.
It was at this stage of his development that he faced the dead-
liest of attacks that are leveled against leaders. His moral purity came
under fire.
Leaders, we must learn to live a lifestyle of purity! Our moral
integrity is centered in our enemy’s sights.
It’s important to remember that strong leadership is attractive.
Joseph was not only naturally handsome and well-built but he was
also a strong leader. Decisiveness and strength of will are attractive
character traits, and the enemy will attempt to exploit them.
Potiphar’s wife became infatuated with him.
It happens to leaders constantly. I was with a man this week
who is a godly husband and father, and yet he could see the hand of
the enemy at work to derail his destiny. One of his employees had
begun to aggressively pursue a sexual relationship with him, and he
had to take the drastic step of removing her. It was a tough decision
that invited the wrath of some of the other employees, but it brought
Heaven to its feet in triumphant ovation.
Purity is power and the Lord is looking for men so empowered.
These are the men whom He can promote.
Our society is in a moral free fall, and leaders are not exempt—
they are actually at heightened risk. They carry tremendous pres-
sure. They are responsible for the welfare of others, and the enemy
137
would love nothing more than to take them out. When leaders
indulge in moral sin, the fabric of society is weakened.
Joseph came close.
Potiphar’s wife attempted everything from simple flirtation to
outright seduction. When he refused to engage in an affair she sug-
gested that they just spend time together. Time after time he
rebuffed her advances but time after time she returned. She ignored
his statement that this relationship would be a sin against his God
and she continued with her advances.
When it became apparent to her that Joseph would not fall, her
rejection became rage. She lied. She screamed. She framed him. She
had him sentenced to a prison deeper than the empty well that his
brothers had used when they sought to crush his dreams.
Remember that Potiphar was the chief executioner. If the chief
hangman throws you into prison, the odds are that you’re on death
row. There was no help and no hope for Joseph. He was in hell. He
was forgotten. He had nothing to live for…
…Except that the Lord went with him into prison. Somehow
Joseph drew enough strength from the Lord to begin serving again.
Rather than dying in a corner of his cell, Joseph became the right-
hand man to the prison warden. As with Potiphar, the warden didn’t
bother to concern himself with anything that Joseph did. He, too,
trusted him implicitly.
One morning he awoke and began his daily service of the pris-
oners when he noticed something. Two of the prisoners were sad. It’s
absurd to me that the Bible highlights the fact that two prisoners
were sad. They were all sad! They were in prison—on death row.
They were all miserable and desperate. How was it that Joseph
noticed their pain? Once he noticed it, why did he care?
Incidentally, when the Scripture said that the men were sad, it
used a word that means to experience such profound grief and sad-
ness that the mourner’s countenance is altered. Joseph didn’t see two
angry, sullen men. He saw two men whose sorrow was hurting them.
And he reached out to them despite his own pain. He released the
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Tell Me Your Dreams
gift of encouragement there in the dark and he asked them,“Why are

you sad?”
It was a risky question. Their response could have ruined
Joseph. They said,“We have dreamed a dream.”
Oh no! That’s how it all began in the first place. All of the mis-
ery began when Joseph dreamed his own dream. He would have been
justified to move on to the next cell and forget the sadness of the
men. He didn’t have to linger with them. But he was a leader. And he
lived for others not himself.
So he said to them, “Tell me your dreams.” Wow! What a pro-
found statement. It not only confirmed a healing in Joseph’s own
soul but it highlighted the secret to his leadership success. He was a
releaser of dreams. He cared about the dreams of others and he
sought to aid in their fulfillment.
He practiced this without favoritism. He sought to fulfill the
dreams of his leaders and he sought to serve the dreams of those
under him. This selfless exercise of love became his salvation. When
he paused beside the cell of two sad prisoners he had no way of
knowing that some day Pharaoh would have a dream of his own. He
had no idea that his practice of blessing the dreams of others would
launch him to the throne.
Do you remember how it happened? Pharaoh dreamed a dream
that no one could interpret. Except Joseph. Literally overnight,
Joseph went from being the right-hand man of the prison warden to
the right-hand man of the king. He said to Pharaoh, “Tell me your
dreams,” and his career was launched. It took a decade of testing and
trials but his hour had come. He was promoted to the second-most
powerful position in the kingdom.
Wherever he went, men ran before his chariot commanding the
people to bow their knees before him. He had prestige, wealth, and
fame. And God was with him.
He is the perfect picture of marketplace ministry. He’s the
perfect picture of moral purity. He’s the perfect picture of how
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practicing encouragement and selfless service of the dreams of oth-

ers opens the door to prosperity and promotion.
“I have dreamed a dream!” Have you? Don’t ever give up on it!
Think about this—if your dream comes true, God’s Kingdom gets
advanced in the earth. He needs you. Some sad man in the adjacent
office needs you. Pharaoh needs you.
It’s amazing that at the end of Joseph’s story he could see the
hand of God in all that had transpired. He was married. He had two
sons, Manasseh and Ephraim.The names of his sons meant forgetting
and fruitfulness. He said that God had made him forget all of his toil
and had made him fruitful in the land of his affliction. He was rich.
He was respected. Pharaoh, just like Potiphar and the prison warden,
didn’t bother to concern himself with anything under Joseph’s
charge. What a testimony for a right-hand man!
Possibly the most remarkable testimony to Joseph’s life came
when he was finally reunited with his brothers in Egypt. He said to
them, “God has made me a father to Pharaoh.” The Lord used
Joseph—the young, dreaming prisoner—to become a spiritual father
to the most powerful man in the world.
Here are the secrets to his success:
1. The Lord was with him.
2. He never relinquished his moral purity.
3. His faithful service won the hearts of his leaders.
4. He was selfless enough, despite his own pain, to notice sad
eyes in the cell beside him.
5. He was a releaser of the dreams of others.
As an associate leader, your success hinges on your ability to do
the same. Cling to Jesus. Stay pure. Serve. Have eyes to see into the
souls of those around you. Become an identifier and releaser of
dreams. Someday you, too, will say of your trials,“God meant it for
good.”
Tell me your dreams!
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Men make history, and not the other way around. In periods
where there is no leadership, society stands still. Progress
occurs when courageous, skillful leaders seize the opportunity
to change things for the better.
-Harry S. Truman
Leadership is the challenge to be something more than average.
-Jim Rohn
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is

no path and leave a trail.

c h a p t e r f o u r t e e n
THE FINGERPRINT
OF G OD
Creation was speechless that day.

They watched in fascinated awe as
their Creator donned a potter’s
robe. Although His glory was slightly veiled beneath this cloak, He
still over-shadowed the splendor of Eden. The infant wonders of
earth diminished around Him as He took His seat beside the potter’s
wheel.
Creation could look at Him today. They could see the expres-
sion of His eyes.
It was love.
The wheel turned as He began to press and mold the clay. Dust
and water merged as, before their eyes, the most spectacular of
beings took shape and likeness. He was like God—but sleeping.
The smile in the Creator’s eyes touched His lips as He bent
over the lifeless being on the wheel and breathed His very nature
into his soul.The man leapt to his feet and saw, in his first experience
of sight, the beauty of his maker. He leapt from the wheel into the
outstretched arms of Eternity.
God and man, Creator and image-bearer, Father and son
turned and walked away from creation into the splendor of Eden.
143
They were holding hands as they departed for the first of their many
evening walks, and as their backsides came into the view of creation,
all of Heaven and earth gasped, for the man, in addition to carrying
the breath of the Creator in his lungs, was marked with the very fin-
gerprint of God.
✦✦✦✦✦
It’s a true story, you know. God formed Adam out of the dust of
the earth. The word formed describes a lump of clay that is squeezed
into shape on the potter’s wheel. One of the most wondrous conse-
quences of being formed by the hand of God is that God’s finger-
prints cover His handiwork. Adam bore the imprint of the hand of
God.
So do you.
A major key to enjoying your calling and obtaining security in
it is to understand that you are carrying the fingerprint of God on
your life.
Do you know much about fingerprints? We probably all know
the basics.
Our fingerprints do not change throughout our lifetime.
The fingerprint of a grandfather is unchanged from the day of his
birth. The same is true of the call of God. It remains unchanged
throughout our lifetimes. The plan that He has for us is unalterable.
It is secure.
Our fingerprints are uniquely different from any other set
of prints on the planet. Out of the billions and billions of sets of
fingerprints available today, yours are unique. No one has your mark.
When fingerprinting was becoming a serious arena of study, they
began testing identical twins to see if it was possible that two people
could have the same set of prints. Many thousands of twins were
tested and never once has a set of twins had the same fingerprints.
Our fingerprints authenticate our identity. Isn’t that the heart
cry of every person? Mankind is in a search for the authentication of
144
The Fingerprint of God
their identity. Fingerprints authenticate identity in two ways. They

answer the questions:
1. Who is this person? Fingerprints can verify identity when
there is either no claim of identity made or when there is a
multitude of possibilities for identity.
2. Is this person who they claim to be? Once an assertion of
identity is made, fingerprints can affirm the claim.
The fingerprints of God on our lives accomplish the same
things. Amidst a search for identity among the endless possibilities
offered by the world, His mark identifies who we are. Once we begin
to walk in our identity as His sons and daughters, His mark on our
nature affirms that, yes, this is indeed who we are.
It’s interesting to me that the television show C.S.I. (a televi-
sion program that explores the science of forensics in criminal inves-
tigations) has become so popular among this generation. I wonder if
it’s a prophetic sign that this generation is seeking for its origins.
Jesus addressed this search. Do you remember when He was
challenged by some of His critics about the obligation to pay taxes?
They were seeking to trip Him up in His speech and find something
to use against Him. He turned the tables on them, however, and
addressed a completely different, more fundamental, issue. He said,
“Bring Me a coin.” When He held the coin in His hand, He asked,
“Whose likeness is stamped on the coin?”When they rightly replied,
“Caesar’s,” Jesus said,“Then give to Caesar the things that are Cae-
sar’s….” They were okay with that response. What bothered them
was His next statement: “…and give to God the things that are
God’s.”
It confused them because it didn’t seem to have anything to do
with paying taxes. They were right. Jesus was asking the deepest of
all questions. He asked, “Whose likeness is stamped on you?” He was
basically saying, “You belong to the Father. Therefore give to God the
things that are God’s.” Jesus was addressing His life mission to seek
and save the lost. He said,“The identity that you are seeking is found
only in the Father. It’s His likeness that is stamped on the center of
your nature. To find yourself you must run to Him.”
145
How does all of this pertain to leadership? It’s very simple.

Since you bear the mark of God that no one else on the planet has,
there is an aspect of His nature that only you can display to His cre-
ation. The world needs your unique leadership!
A major pitfall for leaders is the temptation of comparison with
other leaders. None of us are exempt from it. We have to master it,
however, because it is deadly.
I need to confess to you that I recently became ensnared by this
temptation. My daily drive to my daughter’s school takes me past a
church that is more than five times the size of my congregation, and
as I viewed its campus I began to grow discontent.
I had no desire to leave my church; I just wanted it to grow
more quickly. I began to feel like I was missing the mark in my lead-
ership. By comparing myself to others, I was falling prey to some-
thing demonic. I had forgotten that the Lord does not deal with us
through comparison with others—the enemy does.
There are only two standards by which we will be judged. We
will be judged by the standard of Jesus Christ as found in the Word
of God and we will be judged by the call of God on our lives. When
we stand before God someday, He will not ask us why we weren’t
more like our colleagues or competitors. He will ask, “Why weren’t
you more like Jesus? And why weren’t you more like you?”
The world needs me. And it needs you. It doesn’t matter how
greatly the Lord uses your senior leader. It doesn’t matter how many
employees the business down the street houses. It doesn’t matter
how big the congregation across town is. We are called for a specific
purpose, and it is only found in the center of His will.
When I recognized that I had become snared by the enemy and
my own pride, I had to repent. I built an altar in my heart and I sur-
rendered my will to Him again. I wrote in my journal:
“I want Your will; nothing more nothing less. I want to fulfill every
nuance of Your plan for me. My goal in life is not to pastor a church of
10,000-my goal is to fulfill Your purpose for my life in my generation.
Help me to discern Your will. Help me to know Your plan for me. Help me
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The Fingerprint of God
to please You. If You have called me to pastor a church of 10,000 people, I

won’t settle for anything less than 10,000. If You have called me to pastor
a church of 500, let me pastor it with such incredible excellence that it
pleases You and impresses Heaven.Lord,I submit to You again.I surrender
my agenda and ambition. Help me to faithfully maximize every stage of
my training along the way.I don’t want to skip a single lesson.I don’t want
to bypass any grades. Train me thoroughly. Teach me all that I need to
know. Help me to maximize the potential of every season of life.
“I re-devote myself to the priority of Your presence. Forgive me for
burning wick instead of oil. Forgive me for feeding and leading Your people
from my own soul.I am so sorry! I run back to prayer.I reconstruct my life
on the foundation of Your presence and Your Word. I build an altar at this
juncture of my life and I offer You my will.”
I met Him that day! Grace returned to me. I fell in love with
leadership again.
Leading is wonderful when it’s done in accordance with the
fingerprint of God on your life. David said, “My lot is secure.” You
need to know that your portion is secure. No one can take it away. No
one else’s skill in leadership can nullify your role to play.
I said at the start of this book that you are worth your weight in
gold. I hope you believe me.Your Father certainly does.You bear His
imprint. He trusted you enough to put His nature in you. There’s no
other leader like you. You’re priceless. Carry on!
147
Since Paul had high hopes for Timothy, he set about to correct
Timothy’s timid nature, to replace softness with steel. Paul led
Timothy into experiences and hardships that toughened his
character. Paul did not hesitate to assign him tasks beyond his
present powers. How else can a young person develop compe-
tence and confidence if not by stretching to the impossible?
-J. Oswald Sanders
Jigoro Kano was the founder of the martial art of judo. His
story is a lesson of inspiration and motivation for every student
of life.
Kano possessed an extraordinary willingness to learn. He

sought out the nearly defunct martial art of jujitsu and modi-
fied it to incorporate modern sports principles, creating the art
of judo. It became the defense system of the Japanese police
and was the first Eastern martial art to be accepted in inter-
national competition at the Olympics.
Kano was so focused on learning new and improved techniques

in all walks of life that he found new and better ways for the
island nation of Japan to educate its youth. He became known
as the father of modern Japanese education. Kano was well
respected in athletic, social, and political circles worldwide.
Just before he died, this world-renowned martial arts expert

called his students together.As they congregated to hear the
final words of their judo master, he announced,“When you
bury me, do not bury me in a black belt! Be sure to bury me in
a white belt.”
In martial arts the white belt is the symbol of a beginner—an

apprentice who has many things yet to learn.
What a lesson in humility and teachability! Each of us,

regardless of our ranking in life, must become a lifelong learner.
-Wayne Cordeiro
c h a p t e r f i f t e e n
THE NEXT
GENERATION LEADER
There comes a day when some

associate leaders succeed their
predecessors. Done appropriately,
this can be a glorious event. If senior leaders and their right-hand
men can walk out the generational transfer of leadership successfully,
and without rushing the process, we will have an army of qualified
leaders emerge in the 21st century.
Premature promotion often results in disaster while overly
delayed promotion often results in frustration and a breach in rela-
tionship. When the timing is right, however, relationships between
the senior and associate leaders remain strong, the people rejoice,
and the Kingdom of God is advanced.
One of the best outlines for a successful transition of leadership
can be seen in the relationship between King David and his son.
King Solomon: He was the wisest man of all time. He was
famous for his wealth and splendor and for the proverbs that poured
from his lips. Most of us know some of the details of his life, but did
you know that he was anointed as king twice? Did you know that he
served as a right-hand man for a long time before he was released to
lead on his own?
149
A careful study of the transition of leadership between

Solomon and his father, David, shows that they walked through eight
distinct stages of growth and development before there was a com-
plete transition of the leadership reins. Here are those stages:
1. David identified Solomon as his successor.
2. David charged Solomon with the vision (building a house
for the Lord).
3. David trained Solomon.
4. David set Solomon in as king. (This was his first anointing
as king.)
5. David continued to do the bulk of the leading (while
Solomon was king).
6. David set Solomon in fully as king. (This was his second
anointing as king.)
7. David transitioned the support of his key leaders to
Solomon.
8. David died and Solomon reigned in his stead.
Can you see where you are in this process with your senior
leader? Have you ever clearly identified the process of transition and
its required stages of growth and development? It’s very eye-opening
to realize that the transition generally takes longer than we might
realize. Sure, the reins of leadership can be transferred overnight, but
for the highest assurance of success these eight steps must be taken.
1. David identified Solomon as his successor.
This is a great day in the life of a young leader. Unfortunately,
there is usually quite a gap in time between the identification and
the release. David was anointed king at Bethlehem as a ruddy, young
sheep-herder but he didn’t ascend the throne until a decade later.
Paul was commissioned as a chosen vessel from the Lord and then
went into relative obscurity for 13 years.
2. David charged Solomon with the vision.
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The Next Generation Leader
It takes time to crystallize the calling and the vision. The call of
God can be a very generic thing until maturity and the dealings of
the Lord bring it into focus. Although some people receive a clearly
defined vision at the time of their calling from the Lord, others sim-
ply receive a general sense of being set apart for a great purpose.
I’ve heard many young Bible college students tell me that they
are called to the ministry, but they didn’t have a clue which specific
aspect of the ministry they were called to. Often, it’s not until we
have lived through certain experiences and have allowed the Lord to
shape our hearts and minds that we are able to perceive the specifics
of our calling.
I was visiting with a young man the other night after a worship
service, and he was telling me how inspired he was to break into the
world of real estate investing. Never mind that he had no money and
hadn’t read a single book on business or real estate. He just knew
that God was calling him “into business.” It’s usually like that. The
calling descends upon our life and then we are enrolled in the Holy
Spirit’s school of preparation and training.
What God had commissioned Solomon to build was bigger than
the work of a mere man. It was a God-sized work, and David was
careful to ensure that Solomon understood the vision completely.
3. David trained Solomon.
The training that future leaders require is intense. It’s not
merely an academic education that young leaders need but it is train-
ing in maturity, philosophy of thinking, conflict resolution, leader-
ship, and relational skills. They must be able to articulate and
communicate vision well. They must be skilled in relating with peo-
ple of varying backgrounds and life situations.
Think of the requirements for leaders that Paul passed on to
Timothy. As Timothy was installing leaders in the church, he was
supposed to look for men of moral purity, rock solid character,
healthy families, strong communication skills, and the ability to
relate well with people. These traits do not develop overnight.
151
It’s a surprise to many young leaders when they are identified

as future kings and then they are sentenced to the backside of the
desert instead of the throne. They often think they’re ready. The
degree on their office wall confirms it.
I had a couple of degrees and several years of experience before
I entered my current position of leadership. Even so, I wasn’t nearly
prepared enough for all that the Lord would require of me. I thought
I was. My six years in Bible college helped to prepare me. My five
years in a paid ministry position helped to prepare me. My years in
business prepared me (in many ways I learned far more about lead-
ership and ministry through my business experience than I did in
Bible school). What I have realized, though, is that most of my learn-
ing (in all of my leadership roles) has been on the job.
Pioneers can’t fully prepare in advance. Any time you attempt
to launch a new business or begin a new work there will be
numerous aspects to it that you can only learn as you get into it.
Ongoing mentoring, then, becomes a crucial component of leader-
ship development.
4. David set Solomon in as king (his first anointing).
This would possibly be equivalent to being installed as the
second-in-command leader. Although there was a measure of
authority granted, there was still a very hands-on senior leader
around to provide the bulk of the leadership and direction.
A quick pointer for young Solomons who are in this position is
to embrace every opportunity to handle the tough leadership issues.
One of the fastest ways for a young leader to grow is to make a firm
commitment to never shirk the tough decisions and situations that a
senior leader must face. One day you’ll have to face them—you’ll be
the top leader. Today, you can still defer to your senior leader; how-
ever, if you would make it a practice to embrace every opportunity to
grow, you will be miles ahead in your development. Tough issues
must be confronted. Delicate conversations must be engaged in. Wis-
dom would tell you to do it now while your senior leader is available
to mentor you.
152
Let me share a quick thought regarding mentoring. I believe

that the degree of mentoring that is received is contingent on the
degree of desire and tenacity in the one being mentored. It’s impos-
sible to mentor someone who doesn’t want it. When someone desires
to grow, however, they can be mentored in any situation regardless of
the skills or weaknesses of the parties involved.
I work with a young man who is destined to be a senior leader.
Incredibly sharp, he could wonderfully run his department with lit-
tle or no oversight from me. However, he hungers to be mentored so
he seizes every possible opportunity to ask me questions. He asks the
right questions. He doesn’t just ask me what the right thing is to do.
He asks me how to do it and why it should be done that way. He wants
to get inside the head of every leader he knows so he can glean from
both the good and the bad.
I have learned a mentoring principle that has helped me
tremendously in my relationship with my senior leader. Asking the
right questions will help your leader mentor you. If I sit down with
my leader and ask, “Will you mentor me?” He will want to know
specifics. What do I want? What am I looking for?
I constantly ask him why he handles situations the way he does.
I want to know why certain things bother him while others don’t
seem to faze him at all. I want inside his head and I want inside his
heart.
Proverbs 20:5 says,“The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters,
but a man of understanding draws them out” (NIV). Draw them out of
your leader.
5. David continued to do the bulk of the leading (even
though Solomon had been anointed as king).
It can be a challenge for young leaders when they feel that they
are ready to lead on their own (and they may be) and yet they are not
fully empowered to do so. For leaders in this situation, I think that
the best mind-set they can adopt is that of a student. Determine that
you will glean every possible lesson from your current situation.
Until the day comes that the reins are transitioned fully to you, do
153
your best to learn and grow. Master your leadership skills. Become
the expert on your specific niche of leadership responsibility.
Do you remember Amos? He spent his lifetime in preparation
and was called to center stage for only a very brief period of time. He
delivered his prophetic message and preached the word for a few
months and then went back to tending sheep. Make the most of your
preparation.
While you’re at it, have fun.
Enjoy your role as second in command.You are a highly trusted
and respected leader. Enjoy it! Enjoy the fact that you walk in
authority but you still have a senior leader around to help carry the
weight of the organization with you. Someday the buck will stop
with you so enjoy the fact that you still have his help and support.
6. David set Solomon fully in as king (his second anointing
as king).
Did you notice that at each stage David did the setting? Self-
appointed and self-promoted leaders are short-lived leaders. Solomon
had a brother named Adonijah who declared himself king. His reign
was never fully recognized and it only lasted for a few hours.
The only way to ensure longevity in leadership is to allow the
Lord to promote you in His timing. The Book of Daniel tells a story
of young leaders who maximized the time of their preparation,
trusted the Lord, and then enjoyed a lifetime of promotion in gov-
ernment. It’s a story for you.
7. David transitioned the support of his key leaders to
Solomon.
David said to his key leaders (after all of these stages of develop-
ment and transition were complete),“Solomon, my son, is still young
and inexperienced.” Despite all of the training and preparation,
Solomon still needed the wisdom of his elders to guide him. The
strongest leadership is that which has a multi-generational element.
One of the most profound Scriptures that illustrates this lead-
ership principle is found in Second Chronicles 10:7. Rehoboam was
154
king. His father, Solomon, had died and transitioned the kingdom to
him. The citizens of the kingdom had grown restless and impatient
with some of the heavy taxation of Solomon’s reign. They appealed
to him to show mercy and to lead the nation in a new and fresh
direction. Wisely, Rehoboam sought counsel from the elders, his
father’s friends and advisors, and they offered some of the best
advice that a young, emerging leader can receive. They said, “If you
will be a servant to these people and will speak kindly to them, then
they will be your servants forever.”
Before acting upon their advice, however, Rehoboam decided to
counsel with his friends. They were young, untested, and unseasoned
leaders who said, “You should tell them that if they thought your
father was bad, you will be worse. Say ‘he chastised you with whips,
but I will chastise you with scorpions.’”
Sadly, Rehoboam listened to their counsel and he became one
of the worst leaders in Israel’s history.
Seek wise counsel. Surround yourself with the right kind of
counselors. Gather people who understand and own the vision, who
truly love and believe in you, and who are not afraid to speak truth to
you.
8. David died and Solomon reigned in his stead.
John Maxwell is famous for saying, “Everything rises and falls
on leadership.” I think that for the welfare of future generations it is
safe to also say, “Everything rises and falls on the successful transi-
tion of leadership.”
In the following pages, my senior leader, Dutch Sheets, shares
some practical wisdom regarding mentoring young leaders that will
help to ensure that the transition is a success.
155
The growth and development of people is the highest calling of

leadership.
-Harvey S. Firestone
Teaching is a continuous cycle of teaching, inquiry into prac-

tice, self-assessment, self-prescription, and re-teaching.
-Ellen Moir
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a
man’s character give him power.
-Abraham Lincoln
c h a p t e r s i x t e e n
MENTORING THE NEXT

GENERATION LEADER—
PART 1
(DUTCH SHEETS)
Chris has done a great job of pro-

viding insight for those who serve
in the role of second in command.
He embodies what he has shared and is truly a faithful son in the
Lord. Although it would be premature to declare that we have suc-
cessfully completed our journey, if the future is as successful as the
past, in the end it will have been a great success.
My aim, in this chapter and the next, is to share some general
principles for the man or woman at the top in a relationship such as
ours. I’m certainly not saying that if you’re the second in command
you won’t glean valuable information from these insights—you
will—but, nonetheless, they are intended more for the leader. I have
12 of them, six of which I will share here in this chapter, with the
final six in the next chapter.
Principle Number 1
Make sure the person you’re training has your heart and spiritual
DNA. I know this seems rather basic, but believe me, it isn’t. I have
wasted a lot of time in the past trying to father hirelings who didn’t
really want to connect with my heart, passion, and vision. They
157
wanted various things—jobs, stepping stones to future ministry, even

mentoring—but they weren’t likeminded enough to be long-term.
And since they didn’t connect at a heart level, they had difficulty
accepting discipline or correction, weren’t terribly loyal, and again,
didn’t stay very long. Don’t waste your time investing in relation-
ships such as these. Chris, on the other hand, has my spiritual DNA,
and has connected with me at a heart level. It is easy, therefore, to
build together and very easy for me to trust him, and vice versa.
I heard a wise elder say to young men once that when seeking
God’s will for their lives, they should not start by asking “where,”
but “with whom.” Nothing could be truer. His point was to start with
relationship. We, as leaders, must think in the same way, asking the
question,“Who is God joining me with at a heart level, in order that
I might build a lasting and fruitful relationship with them?” We
want a marriage, not an affair.
Principle Number 2
Make sure the person you are training already considers you a spiri-
tual father or mother to them, or at the very least understands and desires
such a relationship. This is the next logical issue after number one.
God is moving the church away from old and unbiblical paradigms
that cause us to operate and look more like secular corporations than
like family. He is moving us toward covenantal relationships that
mirror biblical models offered by Paul and Timothy, Elijah and
Elisha, Moses and Joshua and others. These relationships involved
fathers and sons, not just mentors and students.
Paul didn’t say to the Corinthian church, “you have not many
mentors,” nor did he use the term “bosses” (see 1 Cor. 4:15). He used
the term “father” to describe the relationship. I’m not looking for
someone to mentor; I’m looking for someone to father. Children can
receive information and knowledge from teachers or mentors, but
they receive their identity, security, character, and core values from
parents.
Both the Charismatic and Jesus Movements of the 60s and
70s were greatly used of God, but neither lived up to its full
potential, largely because they spawned many young leaders who
were not discipled and trained by mothers and fathers in the faith.
Consequently, these young leaders were both dysfunctional and
158
Mentoring the Next Generation Leader—Part 1
immature. In fact, I cannot imagine a movement in church history

that placed so many novices in leadership positions. The results were
devastating:
Leaders who produced action without accountability.
Works-oriented ministries that didn’t know the ways of
God.
Dominating, lording, and independent-minded leaders
(because they hadn’t learned to lead by serving).
Leaders who prostituted their gifts for gain and spawned a
generation of “what’s-in-it-for-me” Christians.
A theologically shallow Body of Christ, which became
easy prey to deception and superficial belief systems.
Leaders who knew how to birth spiritual children, but not
how to train and nurture daughters and sons.
We have been on a 20-year (or so) course correction. God is
joining the generations. As He does, what will true spiritual father
and mother relationships do for the sons and daughters?
Seeing the subtleties of pride and selfish ambition, we will
teach them humility.
Recognizing the danger of isolation and one-person
shows, we will teach dependence—our need for one
another.
Understanding the seasons of the Spirit, we will teach
patience—the ability to wait.
Knowing one can’t build on miracles, sensation, and the
works of God, we will teach the ways of God and the prin-
ciples of His Word.
Knowing the strength and subtlety of sin, we will demon-
strate the need for and provide accountability.
Helping sons and daughters become fathers and mothers,
we will prevent the next generation from being spiritually
illegitimate.
159
The connection with us will remove the curse from the

land (see Mal. 4:6).
Chris is a spiritual son to me; I’m a father to him. Because of
this, I am passing on more than knowledge and how-to’s—I am giv-
ing life. And because he has a spiritual father, he will one day be
one. Together, we are making certain that the bastard spirit does not
enter our spiritual house, and that the security of family is being
reproduced.
Principle Number 3
When parenting spiritual sons and daughters,don’t try to clone your-
self. Reproduce, yes. Multiply yourself, absolutely. But when physical
parents multiply themselves, their children are like them, but still
unique. They have similar DNA, mind-sets, and personalities, and
may even resemble the parents physically, but they will not be clones.
Likewise, our spiritual children will resemble us in many ways, but
also be unique. If impartation occurs while still leaving room for
diversity, our spiritual sons and daughters will go far beyond us in
their accomplishments.
Elisha was like Elijah, and yet different. Joshua gleaned much
from Moses, but led with his own unique gifts and strengths. So too,
we must shape without cookie-cutting, mold without stereotyping. I
try to allow Chris’s uniqueness to be released. I allow and encourage
him to do some things his way, not mine. I even allow and encourage
certain facets of the church to look like him, rather than me. This
causes growth in Chris, and actually makes the church stronger.
Principle Number 4
Allow those in training to fall short once in a while. Like any wise
biological parent with their child, I allow and actually want Chris to
learn some things by messing up—I just don’t want big messes. I
have actually allowed him to do some things his way, all the while
knowing they weren’t the best way. Why? There are several reasons:
I wanted him to know he wasn’t ready for certain respon-
sibilities. Most of us at times think we are farther along in
our development than we really are. If I had simply told
Chris his limitation, he may not have accepted it. Experi-
encing it left no doubt.
160
I wanted the humility that failure would create. It’s not

that Chris has pride issues, at least no more than the rest
of us; it’s just that humility is such a strength that I want
him to walk in a high—or should I say low?—level of it.
I wanted him to have to clean up after the wrong decision.
This would also be valuable training, teaching him
responsibility and problem-solving.
I wanted Chris to know his acceptance is not predicated
on perfection. I told him early on,“This is a safe place to
make mistakes.” I demand loyalty, integrity, faithfulness,
and other virtues but never perfection. I want those under
me to know they are accepted and loved, even when they
are less than perfect.This will allow them to make difficult
decisions later on without fearing failure. This is how our
heavenly Father deals with us; we should do no less.
Principle Number 5
Work on heart and character issues as much or more than you do
how-to’s and gift development. Obviously, Chris already receives high
marks in character and purity of heart. But in all of us there are weak
areas of our hearts that can go undetected. David knew this and
asked God to show him any weaknesses there (see Ps. 139:23-24).
Many casualties have occurred among church leaders because
they were allowed to rise to their position based on the strength of
their gifts and innovative abilities. Character took a back seat. This
has many pitfalls, some of which include:
Building on hype and sensation versus substance and
depth.
Pride, which in turn produces an independent spirit, a
spirit of control, an inability to properly receive praise,
building a kingdom for self, and a host of other bad
things.
Performance mind-sets.
A competitive spirit.
161
Prioritizing innovation over the anointing and seeking of

God.
Allowing instant gratification to replace long-term building.
Zeal trumping wisdom.
Vision born of ambition rather than God’s heart.
Asahel, one of King David’s young soldiers, was a prime exam-
ple of this. Though he was very gifted and on the right side, he was
killed by an older and wiser soldier. Here is the account:
Now the three sons of Zeruiah were there,Joab and Abishai and
Asahel; and Asahel was as swift-footed as one of the gazelles
which is in the field.And Asahel pursued Abner and did not turn
to the right or to the left from following Abner. Then Abner
looked behind him and said,“Is that you, Asahel?” And he
answered,“It is I.” So Abner said to him,“Turn to your right or
to your left, and take hold of one of the young men for yourself,
and take for yourself his spoil.” But Asahel was not willing to
turn aside from following him. And Abner repeated again to
Asahel,“Turn aside from following me.Why should I strike you
to the ground? How then could I lift up my face to your brother
Joab?” However, he refused to turn aside; therefore Abner
struck him in the belly with the butt end of the spear,so that the
spear came out at his back. And he fell there and died on the
spot. And it came about that all who came to the place where
Asahel had fallen and died, stood still”(2 Samuel 2:18-23).
Asahel didn’t need more speed or gifting; he needed more sea-
soning.Though he was younger and faster (giftedness) than Abner, it
wasn’t enough. Neither was his zeal. I don’t want sons and daughters
of mine to perish like Asahel. I want them to have long and healthy
careers. I desire for them to be people “after God’s heart” whose
marriages endure, whose children honor them and God, and who
build stable and long-lasting ministries. So I prioritize the building
of character over gifting.
Principle Number 6
Though similar to the last one, this principle is different. When
training leaders for influential positions, we must prioritize wisdom over
162
knowledge. I want Chris to one day step into a senior leadership posi-
tion with more than a lot of head knowledge and how-to’s. I want
him to have, “a spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of
counsel” (Isa. 11:2). Knowledge is the gaining of information; wis-
dom is the proper application.
Job 11:5-6 says,“Would that God might speak…and show you
the secrets of wisdom!” Facts and knowledge can be interpreted in so
many ways. That is why judges can disagree over the same set of
facts, as can jurists, politicians, religious leaders, and teachers. But
“wisdom is the principle thing” (Prov. 4:7 NKJV) and will bring the
correct interpretation of the facts. This passage in Proverbs goes on
to say in the New American Standard Bible, “Acquire wisdom; and
with all your acquiring, get understanding. Prize her, and she will
exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her. She will place on
your head a garland of grace; she will present you with a crown of
beauty” (Prov. 4:7-9).
Because of this principle, I process a lot with Chris. We talk not
only about “what” but “why.” I bring him into the decision-making
process. I let him watch me in awkward situations, disciplinary mat-
ters, and challenging meetings. I want him to know why I react and
do as I do…to learn the process of decision-making, not formulas.
I’m trying to build a man, not a machine.
In Conclusion
As spiritual mothers and fathers in the faith, much of the
strength of the church tomorrow depends on us today. I want to put
qualities in tomorrow’s leaders that will cause the Church to prosper
and move forward when it’s their turn to be in charge. I want one day
to leave a legacy of sons and daughters who have taken the torch and
run well, keeping the flame bright and advancing it well.
Judges 2:10 says,“All that generation also were gathered to their
fathers; and there arose another generation after them who did not
know the Lord, nor yet the work which He had done for Israel.”
What a tragedy! I don’t want a generation to arise that doesn’t know
the Lord and His ways. I want God-seekers, God-knowers, and God-
pleasers. And that is possible. As we apply these and other principles,
we can ensure not only the success of our offspring, but also pros-
perity of our cause.
163
The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.
-William James
The spirited horse, which will try to win the race of its own
accord, will run even faster if encouraged.
-Publius Ovidius Naso Ovid
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of

enthusiasm.
Lift, lead, and love.
-Spencer W. Kimball
c h a p t e r s e v e n t e e n
MENTORING THE NEXT

GENERATION LEADER—
PART 2
(DUTCH SHEETS)
As we in positions of mothering
and fathering sow into those com-
ing behind us, there are certain
things we must remember. I shared six of them in the last chapter,
and will include six more here, making a total of 12.
Principle Number 7
Allow leaders in training to question your methods and ideas and
even to disagree with you. I want obedience from those under me, but
I don’t want blind obedience. Chris doesn’t question my authority,
but he knows he can question my ideas and that there won’t be a
relational problem if he disagrees with them. I’m helping to shape
him into a wise leader and, as such, I need him to think, not just par-
rot my thoughts and ideas.
Of course we don’t disagree often, but when we do he knows
he is free to speak up and say,“I’m not sure that’s the best way,” or
something similar. And sometimes he is right. Even if he is wrong,
however, it gives us the opportunity to process so he knows why
I’m doing what I do. It also serves to demonstrate to him that his
165
ideas matter—that he is valuable. He knows we’re a team, not just a

corporation.
Sometimes Chris questions me just to learn. “Why did you
handle that the way you did?” is not an unusual thing to hear from
him. Or, “Why didn’t you do that differently?” Each situation
becomes a learning time, as long as he knows he can ask.
Recently, Chris and my wife, Ceci, helped me to see that an
aspect of my leadership style needs to change. Each did it independ-
ently and unaware of the other. I’m human enough that I don’t like
hearing about my weaknesses, but more importantly I want to be a
good leader. And we can all improve. One of the marks of a secure
leader is the ability to acknowledge imperfections, and I want to
model that kind of humility for those I lead.
Principle Number 8
I know it seems simple and is a no-brainer in any relationship,
but it needs to be said anyway: over communicate. This is very chal-
lenging for me and my staff because of my call to the nation and the
resulting travel. Frankly, it is something that I could have done much
better at times and I am trying to improve. But there is no good
excuse for poor communication.You can succeed or fail on this point
alone.
Never assume that the person under you knows what you
want—tell them. I don’t particularly like meetings but I realize they
are necessary. Chris and I meet over coffee, lunches, and at the office.
When I’m at home or on the road, he knows he has the freedom to
call me anytime. He doesn’t do so often, but he knows he can and
sometimes does. He is doing his best to represent me, my heart, and
my wishes, and I don’t want him to be frustrated trying to figure out
what that is. Still, there have been times when I have held up
progress and frustrated him or my staff because I have delayed get-
ting answers to them. This is not good leadership.
Another area of communication I frequently try to do with
Chris has to do with coaching him. Very often I ask him in a service,
“What are you sensing?” or “What do you feel we should do now?” I
then give him my thoughts. Our services are not program driven. We
make great efforts to release the Holy Spirit to minister in any way
166
He chooses. This could involve prophecy, laying on hands for healing

or other ministry, encouragement, extended worship to draw us
closer to the Lord, or various other directions the service could take.
It is not always easy to know what to do, and I want Chris to learn
how to follow the Spirit’s leading now—with a coach beside him.
Then when he is the senior leader, he will function with much more
wisdom and confidence.
Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
Principle Number 9
Be real and transparent. Allow those you are training to see your
humanness—your weaknesses as well as your strengths, your failures
as well as your successes, your disappointments and hurts as well as
your excitement.
Jesus allowed the disciples to see His anger when He cleansed
the temple, His weariness from ministry, His frustration with unbe-
lief, His indignation toward legalism and religiosity, and His sorrow
in the garden. He was secure enough to be real. I try to operate this
way with my senior staff and I believe it makes us closer—and it
releases them to be real.
Allow your spiritual sons and daughters to see your mistakes.
Admit them. Jesus never made any—you will. When you’re wrong,
say so. When your decision wasn’t wise, tell them. Don’t spin it; say
“I messed up.” You are responsible to teach them not only how-to’s,
but also humility, integrity, and honesty—heart issues.
If they can hear me say I made a mistake, they’ll feel free to do
the same.They won’t be prone toward performance mind-sets, the fear
of failure, or other dysfunctional tendencies. I want them to be moti-
vated by truth and what they believe is right—not the fear of failing.
Laugh with them; cry with them; pray with them; play with
them. Be real.
Principle Number 10
When training a person to become the senior leader, which is
what we believe Chris will one day do, give them honor with the people.
You have the literal ability to give them favor. God told Moses to
167
“put some of your authority on” Joshua (Num. 27:20). Authority is

the Hebrew word howd, and means “splendor, majesty, glory, honor,
or renown.” Moses was told to do this “before all the
congregation…in order that all the congregation…may obey him.”
Empower those under you to represent you! Give them favor;
honor them in front of the people.Transfer some of your “renown” to
them. You won’t be honored less, just represented more.
Some leaders are afraid for any attention or praise to go to
those under them.They think it weakens their ability to be respected
and followed. Nothing could be further from the truth. I once heard
of an insecure and proud leader who allowed only he and his wife to
sit on the front row of chairs on the platform. The rest of the staff
had to sit behind them as a picture of submission. The lights on the
platform were carefully situated so that a spot was on this man and
his wife, in order that they would stand out more than the others.
Two of his staff members were friends of mine, one of them a
great youth pastor. My friend had the opportunity to go on radio
locally—a person in the congregation wanted to foot the bill. When
approached by this youth pastor with the opportunity, the senior
pastor’s response was,“I’m not on the radio yet. You don’t go on the
radio until after I get to go on the radio.”
What pathetic insecurity. What a dysfunctional leader. He had
probably never been fathered spiritually so he couldn’t be a spiritual
father.
I allow Chris to preach some on Sundays. I have him emcee our
services, receive offerings, release those with words of encourage-
ment to share them, allow him to go to the podium and exhort the
people without asking my permission, and frequently ask him pub-
licly if he has anything to add at the end of my message and close of
the service. I am putting some of my authority on him.
When he steps into the senior role someday, it won’t be much of
a shock to the people. And it won’t be hard for them to honor and
follow him because they already do. I am setting him up to succeed
later by giving him honor now.
168
Principle Number 11
In transitioning a spiritual son or daughter into a leading role
don’t move too fast or too slow, and don’t guess at the timing of their
release in advance. I realize the timing of their ultimate release is very
subjective, but it is also extremely important. If you release young
leaders too soon, either they will fail or—at the very least—not reach
their fullest potential. If you wait too long, hope deferred will set in,
bringing with it many potential snares. And if you guess at the tim-
ing and it ends up taking longer, again you set the person up for
frustration or hope deferred. Walk out the process and trust the Holy
Spirit to show you the right time. Here are some things to remember
as you do so:
They will most likely think they are ready before they are.
Just as teenagers think they have reached adulthood
before they truly have, so it is with spiritual sons and
daughters. This is normal. Give them some freedom of
expression but don’t fully release them until you know
they are ready.
You will most likely think they’re not ready when they
actually are. Again, just like a physical parent, it is hard to
let go. There will always be more for younger leaders to
learn, but if you don’t release them when it’s time, you will
either create rebellion or stunt their growth. Besides, if
you have done your job well, they will want to stay con-
nected and you can still help them.
One final thing to remember when judging the timing of
release is that to a degree it will depend on what they are
called to do. Chris could be the senior leader of a church
our size now. But God is preparing him to do more than
pastor a church. He is called to be a leader of leaders and
one day oversee a base of ministry that is much more than
just a church. Therefore, God is requiring more from him
in the way of training.
Principle Number 12
Insist that the spiritual daughter or son is whole spiritually and emo-
tionally before you release them. This is critical. If you don’t, you are
169
guaranteeing their failure, the wounding of others, and a detriment

to the cause of Christ.The Body of Christ is full of insecure, control-
ling, selfish, and arrogant leaders. And since we reproduce after our
kind…well, you get the point. If a senior leader is not whole
inwardly, several bad things will happen:
They will respond inappropriately to criticism.
Their ministry will be to meet a need in them rather than
to serve God and honor Him.This is very subtle and often
goes undetected, but is prevalent in the Body of Christ.
They will be performance-oriented and therefore vulnera-
ble to the fear of man, carnal desires to impress, overwork,
and burnout. In Exodus 32, the Israelites sinned against
God by fashioning an idol and worshiping it while Moses
was up on the mountain. Three thousand of the Israelites
were destroyed because of this. The amazing thing is that
it happened because of Aaron’s fear of man. We know he
could have stopped the idolatry because the passage says,
“for Aaron had let them get out of control” (Exod. 32:25).
Insecure leaders fear people more than God.
They will be susceptible to pride.
They will judge success outwardly—by size, numbers,
notoriety, etc., rather than by obedience.
They will emphasize gifts over character.
They will never raise up true sons and daughters of their
own.
Their vision will be controlled by ambition.
They will become controlling and manipulative. The dis-
ciples didn’t want others to minister if they weren’t fol-
lowing along with them (see Mark 9:38). Joshua didn’t
want anyone prophesying if they weren’t outside the camp
with the 70 (see Num. 11:28). These are signs of immatu-
rity. Healthy people share authority and release others.
170
True spiritual fathers and mothers don’t need control but

love to see others released into effective ministry.
Join the Generations
God is raising up a generation of believers that will move into
leadership positions within the Body of Christ at higher levels of
maturity than we have ever seen. It is because of the joining of the
generations as described in Malachi 4:6. Do not compromise the
process and we will not lose the fruit.
Both the Body of Christ and the cause of Christ in the earth
succeed or fail largely based on the strength and maturity of its lead-
ers. The Scriptures demonstrate this time after time. Let’s make sure
that in our day we reproduce leaders who will one day take the baton
smoothly, and run the race well.
171
REFERENCES
1. Maxwell, John, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership (Thomas

Nelson, Inc., Nashville, TN, 1998), p.110.
2. Clayborne Carson and Peter Holloran (editors), A Knock at
Midnight (Warner Books, Inc., New York, NY, 1998), p. 125.
3. Cordeiro, Wayne, Attitudes That Attract Success (Regal Books,
Ventura, CA, 2001), pp. 62, 137, 13-14.
4. Sanders, J. Oswald, Spiritual Leadership (The Moody Bible
Institute, Chicago, IL, 1967, 1980, 1994), pp.27, 79, 144, 148-149.
5. Edwards, Gene, A Tale of Three Kings (Tyndale House Pub-
lishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL, 1980, 1992), pp. 27-28.
6. Sheets, Dutch, River of God (Regal Books, Ventura, CA,
1998), pp. 144-145. Adapted.
7. Zodhiates, Spiros Hebrew-Greek Key Word Study Bible, New
American Standard Bible (AMG Publishers, Chattanooga, TN, 1977),
p. 1721.
8. Roosevelt, Theodore, Citizenship in a Republic Speech,
April 23, 1910, Sorbonne Paris. www.theodoreroosevelt.org/life/
quotes.htm.
173
CONTACT INFORMATION
To contact Chris Jackson call

Spring Harvest Fellowship at 719-548-8226.
To contact Dutch Sheets Ministries

Phone: 719-548-8226
Fax: 717-548-8209
Email:
Ministryinfo@dutchsheets.org
Or
www.dutchsheets.org
PRAYING THROUGH SORROWS

Doubts, depression and discouragement are characteristic
responses of someone who has endured an experience of “bad
things happening to good people.” When a promise from God
does not come to pass, the aftermath is often confusion about
validity of a personal relationship with the Lord. In Praying Through
Sorrows, co-authors Dutch Sheets and Chris Jackson confront the
emotional anguish awaiting the arrival of a long delayed break-
through. Forsaking the cliché about the patience of Job, Praying
Through Sorrows shows how one overcomes the debilitating state of
“hope deferred making the heart sick,” while seeking a restoration
of faith in God’s goodness
ISBN 0-7684-2254-X
Available at your local Christian Bookstore.

For more information and sample chapters, visit
www.destinyimage.com
Additional copies of this book and other

book titles from DESTINY IMAGE are
available at your local bookstore.
For a complete list of our titles,

visit us at www.destinyimage.com
Send a request for a catalog to:
Destiny Image® Publishers, Inc.

P.O. Box 310
Shippensburg, PA 17257-0310
“Speaking to the Purposes of God for This

Generation and for the Generations to Come”

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DUTCH SHEETS and

© Copyright 2005—Dutch Sheets and Chris Jackson

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“Speaking to the Purposes of God for This Generation

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For the church to succeed we must empower the next genera-

The quality of a person’s life and ministry is often determined

It takes a certain “grace” to be second in command. It is not

How encouraging to hear the hearts of a true spiritual son and

This wonderful book breaks the mold. Doesn’t everyone want

16. Mentoring the Next Generation Leader—

What a story! What an experience for a future leader. The man

and offer them a fresh understanding of how to minister grace to

senior leader to you. I hope you go farther than he ever dreamed of

I am more afraid of an army of 100 sheep led by a lion than

-Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord

A leader is a dealer in hope.

People ask the difference between a leader and a boss.The

When people barely know he exists.

When people obey and acclaim him.

Worse when they despise him.

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Who talks little

When his work is done,

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I never saw it coming. I’m glad it

The Lord is longing to so cloak us. He places a tremendous

8. How can you carry all of your never-ending responsi-

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only real training for leadership is leadership.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Why can’t the king see it? Why

“I have been assigned to serve as the second in command to

Worth Their Weight in Gold

“His presence brings security. His men never wonder where he

Worth Their Weight in Gold

hearts by nightfall. If this happens, it will be worse than anything

Worth Their Weight in Gold

habit to share everything with him. Joab communicated all relevant

Worth Their Weight in Gold

The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be

If we were all determined to play the first violin we should

Do you like Star Trek? I don’t

Although he was called Number One, he was really Number

Maybe in his mind he isn’t settling. Maybe he recognizes the

Effective “Number One” leaders have several things in com-

Number One in Number Two

2. They are skilled communicators.

I was shocked! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. After all, I

Number One in Number Two

3. They are alert to the temptation of disloyalty.

John Maxwell, in his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leader-

Number One in Number Two

It’s nice to laugh together. I want to be a source of refreshing for my

afraid to step into that role. Regardless of the situation, however,

Number One in Number Two