Nombulelo From Poverty To Gangster Queen

Nombulelo - From Poverty To Gangster Queen by
Lerato Maletjane
Prologue
Each one of us are born with purpose. By the time we

are born y our fate has already been written. We are
all taught about God and the Book of Life when we
are young and growing up. We are taught to do good
by ourselves and even more towards others. We
grow up learning that if we do good God will reward
us yet most if not everyone in the Bible who was a
believer was poor. Why is it that the faithful are poor
and the ruthless die rich? Growing up was hard and
having had my mother always saying ‘God will
provide’ made me even more bitter. I am the first
born of 6 children – you guessed it; we all have
different fathers.
She too like many of our mothers loved a man who

broke her heart. She ended up falling for the same
trap – five more times. Despite being a drunkard –
she never stopped praying and believing in God –
even on her deathbed. When God took my mother
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from me and I had to step up to the plate I knew then
that He was cruel. If He so much gave up His son for
our lives – why do we have to suffer so much? I knew
then that I was not meant to be just a measly wife.
After my very first heartbreak I vowed to myself that
I’d not be like my mother – ever.
I became ruthless – everyone feared me – even the

one who broke my heart. I became the town’s very
first loan shark and built very own female empire.
As said in Psalm 23 – “The Lord is my Sheperd”.
My name is Nombulelo and this is my story.

Chapter 1
John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that he gave
his only Son that whoever believes in him should not
perish but have eternal life.”
I was born in Johannesburg but raised in Mthata

Eastern Cape for a brief time. Life is fairly backwards
there but nonetheless it keeps moving. My mother
herself had a hard time growing up. Let me start at
the beginning; she was the only child born of her
mother’s marriage to her father a polygamist. He was
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married to Nomcebo who had only bore sons but she
was not enough for him for some reason. After 5
sons he met my grandmother Zandile who was the
light of his life. She was not only younger than
Nomcebo but she also had no idea he was married
since he was working in Johannesburg where they
met. My grandmother was a streetwise 20 year old
Law student doing her second year at the University
of Johannesburg. She just wanted to make her
parents proud being the first one to actually go to
varsity from her family. Two years into the
relationship she fell pregnant – right before
graduation. Of course her parents were livid so much
so that she was disowned by them. My grandfather
then confessed that he was married and ensured that
she would have a good and comfortable life despite
her having to be the second wife. What did she
expect from a man though? They are all the same.
My grandmother being a 22 year old Zulu girl from
Kwa-Zulu Natal who knew nothing about Xhosa
culture although she could pick up the linguistics
easily was in love and naïve. She thought that life
would really be in her favour.
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Despite my grandfather wanting to do right by her
and pay lobola – her family wanted nothing to do with
a man who defiled their daughter and their only hope
for the future. After graduation she packed her bags
and joined her taxi-mogul husband in the Eastern
Cape. They travelled back to his home with a 7 day
old infant – my mother who became the apple of his
eye. When they arrived everyone went ballistic as
expected more especially his wife Nomcebo.
Solomon: “Nomcebo I have brought someone very

special to me for you to meet. She too has captured
my heart. Her name is Zandile and this is our
daughter Gugulethu.”
Nomcebo lashed out as expected. Who’d be excited

by being replaced by a girl 10 years younger?
Zandile: (angrily) “Over my dead body Solomon! I was

okay with you having fun egoli (Jo’burg)! I know
uyindoda (you’re a man) but I did not agree to
polygamy when I married you. I’ll kill someone if she
stays in this house!”
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Solomon: “You know why I married you in the first
place so let’s not even go there. You wouldn’t want
me to choose between the two of you now would
you?”
Nomcebo was playing a very dangerous game; she

was bargaining with a man who was in love with a
new woman. On the other hand Solomon was being
a typical man. He himself was 15 years older than
Zandile.
Nomcebo: (angrily) “Then maybe you should choose.

Who will it be Solomon?! Me or her?!”
Solomon: “If you want to leave then you know where

the gate is. Your parents didn’t desert you after all.
Don’t even think that my sons will leave with you.
This is the Makeba household and I paid lobola for
you. If you leave – you leave alone.”
She was mortified to hear those words but she didn’t

stop there. She tried involving the elders but my
grandfather being the one with money he told them
straight that if they wanted to run his household for
him – then they should take her with as their wife.
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She had no say; Solomon was happy and she became
envious of my grandmother. She chose to stay but
still received little to no attention from him at all. My
grandmother had an even bigger house built for her
despite having only one daughter. It was as if the
more Nomcebo insulted her for having only one child
and a female at that the more he went all out to show
her that she meant nothing to him. He was happy
and ended up spending all of his time with my
grandmother. Two years in he retired and chose to
run his businesses from home. By then he had
countless taxis in the Eastern Cape and Johannesburg
with a lot of livestock as well. He was the wealthiest
man in Mtatha and everyone envied Nomcebo. She
could do nothing wrong in his eyes and he barely
wanted her to lift a finger. My mother was only two
years old at the time and Nomcebo had finally
decided that if she couldn’t have my father – no one
could. She made a decision that would change
everyone’s lives.
The only time my grandmother would lift a finger at

all was when she had to do something for my mother
or prepare food for him. She was the only one
allowed to touch his food at that point. That day
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Nomcebo found my grandmother washing the tripe
she was planning on cooking that evening.
Nomcebo: “Hmm sawubona (hello) Zandile. What

are you planning on making tonight?”
She knew very well she wasn’t Nomcebo’s favourite

but she was not a fussy person.
Zandile: “I am going to make tripe as you can see.”
Nomcebo: “I can assist you with that.”
Zandile: “No thank you you know very well Solomon

hates it when others touch his food.”
Nomcebo scoffed in annoyance and let her be. That

particular evening you know very well Solomon hates
it when others touch his food.”
My grandfather was with my grandmother and

started complaining of stomach pains straight after
dinner. He requested to lie down but the pain got
worse after a while.
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Zandile: “Sol you are getting worse. Perhaps we
should get you to a hospital.”
Solomon: (shaking head) “No no hospitals. You know

very well how I feel about them.”
Zandile: “But how will I cure you when I don’t even

know what is wrong with you?”
Solomon: “Zandi it seems I have been poisoned. I can

feel it in my gut.”
Zandile became really terrified when she heard those

words coming from his mouth.
Zandile: (worried) “Sol how when I am the only one

allowed to prepare your food. I swear I did nothing of
that sort.”
Solomon: “I know. You could never do that to me.”
Zandile: “Well if you were poisoned we should get you

to the hospital. I will call one of your drivers to take
you there.”
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He pulled her hand.
Solomon: “No I don’t have much longer. I am dying.”
Zandile: (tearfully) “You can’t say that Sol. What

about Gugu? What about me? You know I am the
most hated person here.”
Solomon: “I made sure that you and Gugu will be

sorted for life. My will has everything you need to
know about. Just make sure you call my lawyer. His
name is Bekhi. You know my phone password.”
Zandile: (crying) “Sol please. Try to fight it. Gugu still

needs you.”
Solomon: “Zandi I have had a good life. You have

given me the greatest life I could ever ask for. You will
be taken care of. I can assure you.”
He begged her to stay with him while his body was

deteriorating. The poison was working at a very rapid
pace because three hours later he slipped into an
unconscious state. Zandile was panicking. She knew
very well what her fate was going to be like when they
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found out about Solomon’s death. Before she could
even scream Nomcebo made her way into her house
and found her crying with the unresponsive Solomon
in bed.
Nomcebo: “What did you do to my husband?!”
Zandile: “I didn’t do anything. He seems to have been

poisoned.”
Nomcebo: “We all know that you are the only allowed
to cook for him. You poisoned him! You killed my
husband!”
Zandile: “I did no such!”
Nomcebo hysterically started screaming alerting

everyone in the yard.
Nomcebo: (screaming) “Yoh! Yoh! Yoh! uZandile

ubulele umyeni wami (Zandile killed my husband)!”
She was screaming when everyone rushed into the

house including his sons to find their father in bed.
They all went crazy causing great concern for Zandile.
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Even Gugu woke up feeling scared due to the hysteria
but they all didn’t care. Nomcebo had made it seem
like Zandile was a killer.
Nomcebo: “Masimshiseni (Let’s burn her)! She killed

him!”
By then the uncles had arrived.
Uncle 1: “Hold your horses now Nomcebo. We don’t

even know what killed uBhuti (our brother).”
Uncle 2: “Why are you acting stupid mfo (brother).

We all know she was the only one allowed to cook for
him. How else would he have been poisoned?”
Uncle 1: “How do you two know that he was even

poisoned?”
They both kept quiet.
Uncle 1: “The mortuary will be here. They will

determine the cause of death via autopsy. For now
we should all go and rest and start the funeral
preparations. I expect you all to behave. Solomon
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was a very respectable man so let us return the
favour.”
Nomcebo: “I’ll be damned if I let you get any cent

from my husband’s fortune Zandile! A typical Zulu girl
you really are. You should sleep with one eye open.”
They all left while only Uncle 2 slept in Zandile’s

house. He was not one to take sides and was the
eldest uncle. However she didn’t take Nomcebo’s
threat very lightly. She knew with the only person
who actually cared about her gone no one would
actually protect her. She had no friends no family
really. She was basically alone. She was so distraught
that she didn’t have the time to go through his
phone. She couldn’t find it when she went back to
the house after the entire commotion. She had a
feeling that something else was going to go wrong
that evening. With her her gut was never wrong. She
packed a small bag for herself along with Gugu’s bag
and took the only money she had around. Thankfully
for her Solomon would always deposit money in her
bank account so she had quite a hefty amount in
there. It was almost as if he knew such a day would
come. She waited until there was no one around
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outside and got into one of the taxis. Solomon had
taught her how to drive in case of emergencies. She
started the taxi and drove out of the yard in the speed
of light. She had no idea what was being planned for
her life and thankfully she left before then.
As expected soon after she drove out a terrible fire

broke out in her bedroom and quickly spread through
the next room in the house. The eldest uncle who
was sleeping in there nearly died that evening. Had it
not been for the other relatives acting swiftly he
would have been gone. The day quickly went from
having found Solomon dead to trying to put out a fire
in Zandile’s house. By the time the fire was put out
she and Gugu were already gone. That was indeed no
way for any man to exit this world. She drove far away
and never looked back. By then she was a 24 year old
law graduate with no work experience but she was
determined to make something of herself. She owed
it to herself and most importantly to Gugu.
As Psalm 23:4 says; “Even though I walk through the

valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you
are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort
me.”
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Chapter 2
Philippians 4:6 – “Do not be anxious about anything
but in everything by prayer and supplication with
thanksgiving let your requests be made known to
God.”
Zandile drove as far as she can throughout the night

and made her way to one of the hotels in East
London. She could hardly sleep but had decisions to
make. It was only when she finally found temporary
peace in her hotel room that she started
comprehending what had happened. She just lost the
only man she had ever loved and was accused of his
death. She replayed the entire day’s occurrences in
her mind and found it hard to figure out how exactly
he got poisoned. She remembered that she was
washing the tripe just before cooking it but then – she
did leave the pots unattended for a while when she
had to give Gugu a bath. Who was to say that
Nomcebo didn’t enter the house then? She didn’t
have any because she hated the smell of tripe. Her
entire life took a bad turn in an instant. It was too
risky to even live nearby so she had to go as far as she
could. By the next morning she started looking for
countless jobs on newspapers and even online.
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She could not practice as a lawyer just yet as it would
be hard for anyone to hire her as one without any
experience but she was okay with starting at the
bottom. The good thing in her favour was that she did
write and pass her Bar Exam and served a few articles
of clerkship just before she went to the Eastern Cape.
She may have been in love but she was intelligent.
She saw an ad online for a candidate attorney and of
course the most opportunities are always in
Johannesburg. She knew a lot of people there and
would easily get her life back on track but then she
thought of a million possibilities such as Nomcebo.
What if they had spread the news that she had killed
one of the most well-known taxi owners there? She
couldn’t risk it – not when Gugu was so young. She
had no one to fall back on – no family. So she found a
suitable small law firm in Boksburg Benoni. She most
probably would struggle at first but if she could
survive in Johannesburg as a student what harm
could Benoni possibly do? She sent them her CV via
email and packed her bags and was determined to get
that job no matter what. She was off to Watville a
township in Benoni. Once she was there she
immediately went to the nearest licensing
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department and pulled the vehicle ownership papers
of the taxi and went to the nearest garage. She was
married to him legally and in community of property
which was an advantage. She managed to sell the car
for a good deal and got a smaller car for herself
instead a Hundai i10. She had found a room in
Watville and bought a few items of furniture. She was
lucky enough to find that the owner of the yard she
was renting in was a middle-aged kind woman named
Regina. She was instantly taken by her seeing how
young she was with a two year old baby girl.
Regina: “Okay this will be your room. It is big enough

and has a bathroom as well. You can fit a good
amount of furniture in here.”
It had a small kitchen as well which was perfect.
Zandile: “Thank you Ma.”
Regina: “You look like you have traveled from very far.”
Zandile: “Yes I come from the Eastern Cape.”
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Regina: (frowning) “You don’t sound very Xhosa to me
– no offence.”
Zandile: (laughing) “None taken. I am originally from

Kwazulu Natal.”
Regina: “That explains the Durban accent.”
They both chuckled.
Regina: “Care for some tea?”
Zandile: “I’d love to but I have to go look for a crèche

for Gugu.”
Regina: “Oh? Well that won’t be necessary for now.

You still have to find your feet. I know I might look like
a crazy lady but I am very good with kids. I never had
any of my own unfortunately but I am more than
willing to look after her.”
Zandile: “Oh Ma. I don’t want to impose.”
Regina: “I wouldn’t be offering if you were. You did

say that you have a job interview tomorrow morning.
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Rather take the risk and leave your child with the
crazy-looking lady than a crèche full of women you
have barely met right?”
Zandile: “I suppose you are right.”
Regina: “Come let’s have some tea. You have had a

very long journey.”
She took her in and they formed a very good bond

ever since. Surprisingly they seemed to have a lot in
common; Mam’Regina herself was also sister wife to a
woman who was blessed with children but she was
on the short end of the stick. The following morning
she went to Boksburg for the interview. She was a go-
getter and easy on the eye. She had fair skin and not
a pimple in sight. The law firm offices were situated
at a nearby complex in town. It seemed like a rather
quiet and decent neighbourhood. She put on the
best outfit she could find at the shops just the
previous day and ensured she was early for her
interview. It might have been 2 years since she was
actively in school but she never missed an
opportunity to read something. She was greeted by
the receptionist a young woman more or less her
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age. She waited and said her prayers silently. She was
a praying woman although she would skip prayer a
night or two. Despite it all God doesn’t forget His
children.
Receptionist: “Mrs. Makeba they are ready for you.”
She stood up and thanked her gracefully. There was

something about my grandmother. She always lit up
the room whenever she entered. Her natural figure
could hypnotize any man hence she caught Solomon’s
eye that quickly. She didn’t even look like she had a
child. She was dressed in a corporate suit with a
pencil heel and had very short hair so she opted to
have it curled. The moment the law firm boss saw
her he was sold. He listened attentively to each of her
answers and they were all correct. She passed her
interview with flying colours and was requested to
start the next day. She signed her contract on the
spot and it was all systems go from that day onwards.
She was so excited to start a brand new chapter in her
life while things were falling apart dismally back in the
Eastern Cape. Nomcebo bit off more than she could
chew off. Zandile was so happy that she went by the
nearest KFC drive through to buy Mam’Regina some
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food to celebrate. All elderly people enjoy KFC and
not burgers that’s for sure. Zandile was not a drinker
nor a smoker and neither was Mam’Regina. When
she got home she found her playing with little Gugu.
Zandile: “Sawubona (greetings) Ma.”
Regina: (smiling) “Hello my baby. Please tell me you

got the job.”
Zandile: (smiling) “Yes I got the job.”
Regina: “Modimo o Mohau (God is merciful) my

child. I knew you’d get it after I started praying this
morning. Come let us pray and give thanks to the
Lord.”
She agreed gracefully and she started praying for her.
Regina: “Father God Modimo yo a ratehang (Our

loving God) I thank you so much for bringing life to my
house again. It has been so cold and lonely for so
many years but you have brought it back to life. I
thank you for giving my darling Zandile another
chance at life. Life does not stop after a man’s death.
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As sad in 2 Peter 3:9; “The Lord is not slow in keeping
his promise as some understand slowness. Instead he
is patient with you not wanting anyone to perish but
everyone to come to repentance. I trust in You Lord
and I ask that you create light in Zandile’s life from this
moment onwards. For You never forget your
children. I thank you once again in Jesus’ mighty
name. Amen.”
They celebrated her win with the lovely meal and had
a good conversation onwards. It was very interesting
for Zandile to learn about God all over again. Much
like many of us she too grew up going to church and
learning about God but somehow along the way
church didn’t become very important to her family.
They were more cultural than anything much like
Solomon. When she went to bed that evening she
struggled to sleep since she started having nightmares
about Nomcebo coming after her and killing her. It
was her subconscious but after what happened to
Solomon she just could not be too sure of anything.
The dreams continued for a good week before they
started affecting her badly and thankfully
Mam’Regina noticed. She saw her sitting in deep
wonder on the porch outside her room one day.
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Regina: “You have a lot on your mind don’t you?”
Zandile: (smiling briefly) “Eish (oh) Mama. I struggle

sleeping on most days. I keep having this dream. It
just torments my soul and eats away at my sleep.”
Regina: “Hmm your dream is speaking to you.”
Zandile: (worried) “Do you think that Nomcebo is

going to come after me and actually kill me?”
Regina: (shaking head) “No my darling. Do you

remember when you first came here I told you that
everyone thinks I am crazy?”
Zandile nodded curiously.
Regina: (sigh) “Well it is probably best I start at the

beginning. I am the daughter of a Sangoma which
was my father. He was the most feared sangoma that
ever lived in Daveyton. Some appreciated him for his
power while most people feared him. He did more
bad than good and one day I remember it quite
clearly. A client came to him for assistance with
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something – to get richer. He was ordered by my
father to spill blood for money. Instead of doing
whatever he was told he slit his wife’s throat in the
middle of the night. When one of his children saw
the entire thing he killed him too. That was when the
other one managed to escape and alert the rest of
the community. The community was so angry that
they came to our house and set him alight while
inside. It was as if he knew it was coming because he
told my mother to take my brother and I and run as
far as we could. We ran and never looked back. It
happened when I was only 14 years old but the
memory is perfectly etched into my mind. We didn’t
even get the chance to bury him. Life just had to go
on.”
Zandile: “Oh Mama. I’m so sorry.”
Regina: “My mother had to take us with her to a

neighbourhood where no one really knew us and that
is how I ended up here in Wattville. I went to school
here and my brother also managed to make some
friends while growing up. It was very peaceful until I
had to get married. I lied and told my husband that I
didn’t have any other family apart from my mother.
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All was well you know. He loved me very much and
did so much for me. His mother on the other hand
didn’t love me at all. You see I never told anyone that
I could see things that no one else could see. It
started when I was; right after my father died. I
panicked and thought that he was passing on his gift
to me. I had sleepless nights and the hallucinations
started. I could see dead people and even the evil
that people were doing. At school it became harder
to concentrate when I could see all the evil
surrounding me. I nearly went mad and that is when
my mother took me to church. It got better for a
while but then it still didn’t go away. That’s when she
took me to another church; where they pray for you
using water and there are seers there. They clarified
my gift to me and that I could not run away from it.
My father indeed gave it to me but I was assured that
I would not become a witch. I can use water to see
your future and heal you if need be. I can also do
palm readings. I have hid that from people for a very
long time simply because people will always use you if
you have a gift. When my husband found out about
my father he wanted nothing to do with me. He went
as far as marrying another woman while I was in the
picture. Things became worse when I couldn’t have
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children and she bore him 8. When she too found out
about my gift she exposed me and told my in-laws
that I was a witch.”
Her voice started breaking as she narrated the story a

bit further.
Regina: “It was so difficult for me to hear the words I

was being told by my own husband. He cursed me
and my womb; saying that I couldn’t be blessed with
children because I had a witch’s blood line. I was
chased away and I let it be. When I found my feet
here and managed to build a few rooms for survival
his other wife told everyone here about me and
spread a few lies as well. Therefore you won’t see
people coming in and out here – only my tenants. I
don’t really have friends and I have made peace with
that.”
Zandile: “Oh Mama. That is so painful.”
Regina: “It’s not as painful as what happened to my

husband my child. You see God is a God of miracles. I
prayed day and night for healing but little did I know
that his time was coming. He fell ill and she cleaned
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his bank account. Doctors couldn’t find out what was
wrong with him. He went to every church you can
name but no one could help him. He was told that he
needed me to heal; my forgiveness and my power to
heal but he refused. On his death bed he called out
my name. I didn’t even go to his funeral. He became
a monster towards me but he started being such a
nuisance to me after his death.”
Zandile: “Usho kanjani (what do you mean)?”
Regina: “He started haunting me in my dreams

begging for my forgiveness. He apparently couldn’t
enter his family kraal on the other side because they
were angry at him for what he did to me.”
Zandile: (shocked) “What did you do then?”
Regina: “I went to his grave and told him to leave me

alone. Whatever bound us in the flesh was no more.
Ke mo reile pila ka re; ‘Pieter o nsotle gape o nyele’ (I
told him straight up and said; ‘Pieter if you ever
bother me again you’ll be in serious shit)!”
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They both laughed out so loud. Mam’Regina might
have been a church lady but she was most definitely
hilarious.
Zandile: “Kodwa (but) Mama what happened to his

other wife?”
Regina: “Oh that old fool Selina? She is still around

with all her children. Only one of them is successful
out of the 8. He was and still remains the respectful
one. She still loves booze and is beyond broke. Can
you believe she once found me after church and
greeted me like she never cursed me? She even
asked me for beer money.”
Zandile: (laughing) “I didn’t mean to laugh.”
Regina: “Oh you should. It is extremely hilarious.

Sure God doesn’t want us to laugh at our enemies but
sometimes it is good to laugh.”
Zandile: “What did you say to her when she asked you
for money?”
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Regina: “Ke mo jweditse gore a gutlele go Pieter pele
(I told her to go back and ask Pieter first). I might be
kind hearted but I am not stupid. I know very well
what people can do to your money if you give them
by hand. That is one dangerous thing to do my child.
Black people are cruel.”
Zandile: “Well either way Mama. I don’t mind you

having a gift. God has a reason why He gave it to
you.”
Regina: “Oh yes. Back to that your dream means

something. If a dream keeps re-occurring most of the
time it can mean two things; it is your subconscious
repeating what you are afraid of or it could be a sign
of what is coming.”
Zandile: “Okay what is it in my case?”
Regina: “Hmm you don’t know it but you actually hold

the power between you and Nomcebo.”
Zandile: (frowning) “How do you know her name?”
Regina: “I told you; I am a seer. Give me your hand.”
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She gave her her right hand and Mam’Regina looked
attentively at her palm.
Regina: (nodding) “You have a long line of blessings

that will follow you. Your husband left you a lot of
fortune and she cannot get hold of it because of what
he strictly instructed his lawyer and what he wrote in
his will.”
Zandile: (shocked) “You can’t possibly tell me that he

left me everything?”
Regina: (nodding) “Everything my dear. She doesn’t

have a dime as we speak.”
Zandile: “Wow. I didn’t think he would ever go that

far.”
Regina: “Why not? He did love you – only you. His

marriage to her was just a matter of convenience.”
Zandile: “Please tell me he is at peace.”
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Regina: “How can he be when his love was chased out
of his home like a peasant? He hasn’t even been
buried yet and he will be buried like a pauper because
they cannot access his money.”
Zandile: (teary) “I never meant for any of that to

happen Mama. I mean I truly loved him. Had I
known he was married at first I would have ran and
never looked back.”
Regina: “Well fate cannot be rejected my dear. The

one you should worry about is this little one.”
She pointed at Gugu making Zandile very much

worried.
Zandile: “What about Gugu?”
Regina: “Nothing bad but she will be one big pain in

your ass which will then create an even bigger pain.”
Zandile: “What do you mean Mama?”
Regina: “Sometimes even the best parents raise the

worst children. You will see when one day.”
Page 30 of 1871
Zandile: (sigh) “I see. I don’t want anything to do with
Solomon’s fortune however. I don’t want to die like
he did. I am even thinking of changing my surname
back to my maiden name.”
Regina: (shaking head) “Don’t do that at least not

legally. You can use it when you consult with people
and introduce yourself; that sort of thing. Just do not
change it legally. Remember Solomon is bound to you
and once you change your surname he will think you
rejected him. It won’t end well for you – believe me.”
She was even more afraid of the dead Solomon than

Nomcebo at that moment. One thing was for sure
she wanted to play as far as possible from the Makeba
surname and their entire family. God ensured that
she found family in Mam’Regina. They became so
close just like mother and daughter. Regina would
even introduce Zandile as her daughter and Gugu as
her granddaughter. Of course it left people confused;
just as she preferred it. Peace is better than any
amount of money at times.
Page 31 of 1871
As Colossians 3:12 says; “Therefore as God’s chosen
people holy and dearly loved clothe yourselves with
compassion kindness humility gentleness and
patience.”
Chapter 3
Micah 6:8 – “He has shown you O mortal what is
good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act
justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your
God.”
A few years later…
It didn’t take too long for Zandile to catch the eye of

everyone in the neighbourhood – more especially the
men and potential suitors. She would go to church
with Mam’Regina when she wasn’t working and all
eyes would be on her. It is as if she restored
Mam’Regina’s dignity again. People no longer looked
at her as a useless medium but more people tried to
befriend her at that. She was not interested of course
and still kept them at bay. She didn’t want any
complications to her life and she preferred it that
way. Gugu took her mother’s beauty and Regina
could brag about them every chance she got.
Whenever men tried to enter her yard she would tell
Page 32 of 1871
them to ‘voetsek’ and come back bearing something
serious if they wanted to marry her daughter. She
enjoyed fooling with them; they would bring
countless gifts but Zandile was not interested in any
relationship. It had been 6 years since she set foot in
Wattville. Gugu was 8 by then and in school. Zandile
would always stay swamped in work with no time for
any relationship but Regina tried to open her eyes.
Regina: “Zandi my baby. How old are you again?”
Zandile: “Haibo (Goodness) Mama. Have you

forgotten your own daughter’s age?! Getting old
aren’t we?”
Regina: (chuckling) “The only thing getting old is that

hairy thing in between your legs.”
Zandile: (shocked) “Haibo (Oh goodness) Mama!

How can you say such a thing?”
Regina: (laughing) “Did you think I’d say I was joking? I

am not joking darling. Ask me I know very well what
years without a man feels like. It is not nice trust me.
As the years go by you don’t even bother shaving.
Page 33 of 1871
And then the hairs would tickle your inner thighs until
you block out the feeling.”
Zandile: (shaking head) “I told you. My only priority

right now is Gugu. I don’t have time for any
relationship.”
Regina: “That’s where you are playing with fire. You

are only 30. Besides you don’t have to worry about
Gugu. I have her covered. You just worry about
getting your sexy back.”
Zandile: “I will think about it.”
Regina: “Well there is no time for that. David has

been asking me about you. He has no children a
house of his own and has a good paying job as a
doctor. I’ve had some tea with him earlier on today.
He is really keen on meeting you – officially.”
Zandile: “Well Mama I will let you know when I am

ready.”
Regina: “I knew you’d say that hence I told him to

come back today at 2pm. So that gives you exactly 2
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hours to get ready before he comes and takes you on
a date.”
Zandile: (shocked) “Kodwa (but) Mama. Why would

you do such?”
Regina: “Just like I said; for you to get your sexy back.”
Zandile was stressed as expected. She hadn’t been on

a date in ages.
Zandile: “Eish (oh) Ma I am nowhere near ready. I

don’t even know what to wear.”
Regina: “You can wear that cute yellow Maxi dress of

yours.”
Zandile: “It’s a bit short. What if he thinks no good of

me?”
Regina: “Men can’t think when they keep looking at a

woman’s thighs. Now go get dressed. I will be here to
help you with your make up and hair.”
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She still loved short hair and wore wigs occasionally.
She rushed to her room to get ready while Gugu was
playing outside with some of the other children. She
was quite short in height but very feisty. They had
received a few complaints from the teacher regarding
her behaviour but it was nothing Regina couldn’t
handle at that time. Once Zandile was done she
looked as beautiful as always. Regina encouraged her
to wear heels instead of pumps or flat shoes and
assisted her with her make up. By the time she was
done she looked like a million dollars.
Zandile: “Eish (oh) Ma I am so nervous.”
Regina: “I wouldn’t encourage you to go on a date

with him if I didn’t think he was perfect for you. Trust
the process okay?”
She nodded in agreement. David was right on time.

He was always dressed formally and his cologne could
be picked up from a mile away. He was a handsome
fellow who just had bad luck with meeting the wrong
women. Whenever he walked into a room he
commanded respect without even saying a word.
Page 36 of 1871
David: (clearing throat) “Dumelang (Greetings).”
Regina: (smiling) “Hello David. How are you?”
David: “Good thanks Ma and you?”
Regina: “I couldn’t be better.”
David: “Greetings Queen. You look amazing.”
Zandile: (nervously) “Oh thank you. You look nice as

well.”
Regina: “Okay it is time for you to go. That food won’t

eat itself now will it?”
They said their goodbyes and left. He opened the car

door for her before she got in. Chivalry wasn’t dead
after all. They drove off while Gugu ran back to the
house furiously.
Regina: “What is it Gugu?”
Gugu: (annoyed) “Gogo (Granny) some kid told me

that I am useless because I don’t have a father!”
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Regina: (sigh) “Gugu that temper of yours will get you
into trouble one of these days. Pay no mind to them.
Children mimic what they see and hear at home most
of the time. You are anything but useless.”
Gugu: (shaking head) “No! I knew you’d tell me to

look the other waythat is why I punched her in the
face!”
Regina: “You did what?! Do you realize how serious

assault is Gugu? At your age? You are beating up
other children?!”
Gugu: (nodding) “Yes and if I had a father he would

cheer me on. I will not be bullied by another kid just
because I am small built.”
She was adamant and stood by what she believed.

When the child’s mother came Gugu didn’t stop. She
dared to hit that child again. Of course the child’s
mother was furious and just told the child to stay
away from Gugu but Gugu didn’t care whatsoever.
Life went on for her as usual. Meanwhile Zandile’s
date was going extremely well. David took her out at
Page 38 of 1871
a posh restaurant. He pulled out all the stops. He
bought her flowers on the way and ensured that they
got the best seat in the entire restaurant. Halfway
through their meal he decided that time waits for no
man.
David: “Are you enjoying your meal?”
Zandile: (nodding) “Yes thank you. I can’t recall the

last time I had such wonderful steak.”
David: (clearing throat) “Zandile from the moment I

first saw you I knew that I needed your rays of
sunshine in my life. You are such a beauty to look at
and an even better soul. Your smile just makes me
smile. Whenever I see you my heart just beats faster
than normal. All I ever see is you – when I’m at work
church and mostly whenever I am sleeping. I have
been praying for a good woman and funny enough; I
asked God to bless me with one. I told Him that I was
giving three months otherwise I was going to give up.
God can be really funny you know. Exactly on day 90
He finally gave me an answer. I remember that day
very well; it was a Sunday and the pastor was
preaching about; Hebrews 10:36 “For you have need
Page 39 of 1871
of endurance so that when you have done the will of
God you may receive what is promised.”
Zandile was moved by David so much that her eyes

never left his.
David: “The moment the pastor read that verse

something within me told me to look towards my
right and there you were. I had never seen such a
radiant beauty in my entire life. I recall very well what
you were wearing; the very same dress you are
wearing now. Yellow is such a good colour on you. It
brings out your beautiful complexion. I may not be
the smartest wealthiest or even the best looking man
you have ever seen. A lot can actually call me boring.
I have been through a lot of heartache Zandi but it
won’t hurt me to try. I would like to give our
relationship a try that is if you are willing.”
Zandile was a little taken aback.
Zandile: “Well I didn’t think you’d actually tell me all

that right away before the end of our date David.”
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David: (chuckling) “I go for what I want. I mean who
knows what tomorrow holds?”
Zandile: “I haven’t been with a man in so long David.”
David: “That is what patience is for. I don’t mind

waiting as long as you are in my life.”
Zandile: “You do know that I have a daughter don’t

you?”
David: “A daughter I am more than happy to call

mine. I just want to love you given the chance.”
She saw his seriousness and that was a major

attractive factor. She could see his fragility and purity.
David was being real. She was quite anxious about
involving a man into her life but what did she had to
lose? She agreed to giving their relationship a try and
just like that they were a couple. They had their
dinner and afterwards had their dessert. He took her
for a bit of shopping after that and it happened to be
the very best time she had in years. He ensured that
she got home safely and waited for her to enter the
house before leaving. He even made sure she had
Page 41 of 1871
takeaways for Regina and Gugu. Such a true
gentleman he was. Solomon was loving but
romantic? He was not. It was a brand new
experience for her. The entire date went well leaving
David’s heart beating right out of his chest. God
proved to David indeed that His timing is not ours.
As said in Eclessiastes 3:1 – “For everything there is a

season and a time for every matter under heaven.”
Chapter 4
Habukkuk 2:3 – “For still the vision awaits its
appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If
it seems slow wait for it; it will surely come; it will not
delay.”
Five years later…
With the years going by it was very hard to convince

Zandile to marry again. She had no family well none
interested in her life but she was still young and had
to move on. David was more than understanding so
she decided to marry him four years after their
relationship had started. It was the most talked-about
wedding in Wattville at the time. It was a beautiful
relationship no doubt and Gugu was more than happy
Page 42 of 1871
to have a father-figure in her life. Soon after marriage
Zandile moved to a new home with David along with
Gugu. As much as Regina loved Gugu she allowed her
to bond with Gugu and David but she only went to
live with them full time a few months after they were
married. Gugu had become a very fiery 13 year old
with a unique dress sense. She didn’t take any
nonsense from anyone – not even those who raised
her. By then Zandile was pregnant with her first child
with David and that was where the problem slowly
started escalating. Gugu was being bullied at school
and in the neighbourhood being constantly told that
David was not her real father. She was told that
Zandile would love the new baby more than her and
she would be forced to go live with Mam’Regina. It
didn’t sit well with her and she wasn’t a very good
communicator. She was rebellious but a firm believer
in God and never missed a day of church otherwise
Mam’Regina would have her head. On one particular
afternoon after she came back home from school she
was having a rather unpleasant day. She found her
mother singing to the unborn baby and got instantly
annoyed. She didn’t even greet Zandile.
Page 43 of 1871
Zandile: (frowning) “Hawu (goodness) Gugu. Since
when do we not greet one another?”
Gugu: (sigh) “Sawubona (Hello) Ma.”
Zandile: “It seems as if you’ve had quite a horrible

day. Is everything okay?”
Gugu: “Why wouldn’t it be?”
Zandile: (appalled) “Excuse me?”
Gugu: “I mean I am fine. Don’t fret about it.”
She went to her room without allowing her mother to

say a further word. She changed her clothes and
stayed there for a while until she heard voices an hour
later. When she walked out of her room she peeped
from the passage corner and saw David and her
mother bonding over her belly. It wasn’t that David
was not a good father; she was just having serious
issues with her identity and potential anxiety over the
coming newborn. Her heart tore at that point when
she replayed all those words that were said to her;
“your mother will forget all about you when that new
Page 44 of 1871
baby is born”; “David is not your real father if you
don’t believe us ask your mother and grandmother”;
“you’re going nowhere with a surname like that –
you’re not even Xhosa like your surname suggests”.
She had grown to be tough and was involved in a few
fights. Her not speaking to her mother or
grandmother about what she was experiencing was
starting to torment her emotionally. The moment
they noticed her staring David was glad to see her.
David: (smiling) “Hi Gugu. I didn’t know you were

back from school.”
Gugu: “I came back an hour ago.”
David: “How was your day?”
Gugu: “Fine. I’ll see you guys later.”
David: “Where are you going?”
Gugu: “Out.”
She just took her bag and a light jacket and stormed
out. She was never worried about who her father
Page 45 of 1871
was. She never really bothered until she got older
and everyone was always saying something. Envy
stems from deep rooted hatred; everyone around her
was broken. Even if they had both parents in their
lives they still envied Gugu. What’s the best way to
break someone confident? You break them by
pinpointing all the wrong in their lives and if there
isn’t any – you simply create them. Gugu started
going down the wrong road on that particular day.
She was still short and had her mother’s structure
that involved her having a very curvaceous body for
her age. She took out some money from her purse
and walked into the nearest bottle store.
Gugu: “A bottle of Savanna please.”
She had no idea what Savanna even tasted like but

she had heard a few older girls at school talk about it.
The man at the bottle store took one look at her and
knew she was too young to even buy alcohol.
Man: (frowning) “Who sent you? Don’t they know

we’re not allowed to sell to minors?”
Page 46 of 1871
Gugu: (annoyed) “Wa nrekisetsa or bjang (are you
going to sell to me or what)?”
Man: “I don’t sell to minors. Go away before you get

me arrested.”
Gugu was highly annoyed but she wasn’t about to

give up. She waited outside the bottle store and saw
a few people walk in and out. When she finally saw
the right target; a young boy who seemed old enough
to buy alcohol.
Gugu: “Hey do you want to make an extra few

bucks?”
He looked quite charming and neat and about 19 if

not 20.
Guy: (frowning) “Aren’t you supposed to be in school

or something?”
Gugu: “Funny. Buy one Savanna for me. I’ll make it

worth your while.”
Page 47 of 1871
The boy was very intrigued by Gugu’s perseverance
and feisty attitude.
Guy: “Okay then. How much are you willing to give

me?”
Gugu: “R50.”
Guy: “What will I do with a R50? Make it a R100 and

we have a deal.”
Gugu: “I only have R100 on me today.”
Guy: “Fine how about we strike a deal; I buy you that

Savanna and you spend a few hours with me?”
Gugu: “I don’t spend my time with boys. What if

you’re a killer or rapist or something?”
Guy: (laughing) “Killers and rapists don’t look this

cute.”
Gugu: “You never know. And who said you’re cute?”
Guy: (chuckling) “I like you already.”
Page 48 of 1871
He went in without taking her money making Gugu
rather annoyed. She was about to insult him as soon
as he walked out when he came out holding two
bottles of Savanna quarts.
Guy: “I got you what you wanted but I can’t be seen

giving you beer in public. I will be the one to get
arrested.”
Gugu: “Oh I get it. This is your way of trying to get me

to spend some time with you isn’t it? Aren’t you a bit
old?”
Guy: “Aren’t you a bit too young?”
Gugu: “I get your point. Let’s go then.”
They walked a bit further until he got to his car. She

stopped for a minute and looked at him.
Guy: “Aren’t you getting in?”
She looked around nervously.
Page 49 of 1871
Gugu: (sigh) “Fine. But if you kidnap me I swear my
grandmother will hunt you down. She is really feisty.”
Guy: (laughing) “I’d love to see this ‘fiesty’ granny.”
Gugu: “Everyone knows Koko (granny) Rosina.”
His smile faded for a minute as he stared at her

thinking it was all a joke but she was quite serious.
Guy: “Please tell me you’re joking.”
Gugu: “No I’m not. Now drive before people see me.”
Guy: (nervously) “You do know that she has powers

right?”
Gugu: “Exactly and if people see us together she

might just use those powers on you don’t you think?”
She was enjoying toying with his mind like that. He

started his car nervously and drove away until they
got to an open veld where people hardly passed. He
parked his car and exhaled apprehensively.
Page 50 of 1871
Gugu: “Oh relax would you? I just want a drink.”
Guy: (tensely) “Are you sure no one will come after

me?”
Gugu: “I won’t tell if you won’t. I didn’t think you

were going to be such a sissy.”
Guy: “I’m not but I value my life you know.”
Gugu: “Open one for me. I want to drink it.”
Guy: (frowning) “Do you always drink with boys you

don’t know?”
Gugu: (shaking head) “No this is my very first time.

How special.”
The boy opened one beer bottle for her and she took
it in her hands. She didn’t hesitate to take her very
first sip. It tasted very sour the first time.
Guy: (chuckling) “So this is your first time drinking. I

am surely getting arrested for this.”
Page 51 of 1871
Gugu: “You surely seem very excited about that.”
Gugu took another sip and the further she sipped the
less sour it tasted.
Guy: “I am Thoriso by the way. You must be the

infamous Gugu.”
Gugu: (frowning) “How do you even know my name?”
Thoriso: “Everyone knows you. Besides you go to

school with my sister Tshiamo.”
Gugu: “Oh you man that spoiled little brat who likes
getting all the attention? I should have seen the
resemblance.”
Thoriso: “What do you mean? We look nothing alike.”
He opened one of his beer cans and started drinking.
Gugu: “Really? How come you haven’t seen the big

foreheads? I could even spot it from a mile away.”
Thoriso found her so humorous that it was relaxing.
Page 52 of 1871
Thoriso: “Are you always this amusing?”
Gugu: (shaking head) “Not really I am the most hated

girl in my school. Why on earth would anyone find
me funny?”
Thoriso: “Why would anyone hate such a beautiful girl

like you?”
Gugu: “My grandmother said that boys will always tell

you nice things just to have sex with you.”
Thoriso: “How old are you?”
Gugu: “I’m 13 turning 14 this year. You must be old.”
Thoriso: “I will take that as a compliment. And no I’m

turning 19 in a few days. I am doing my first year at
UJ.”
Gugu: “That’s nice. My mom studying Law there.

What are you studying?”
Page 53 of 1871
Thoriso: “Media. I want to be a big presenter one
day.”
Gugu: “Well you have the face for it.”
Thoriso: “So why is a 13 year old drinking alcohol in

the first place?”
Gugu: (sigh) “I’m going through a lot.”
Thoriso: “Aren’t we all?”
Gugu: “Your problems and mine aren’t the same

okay. I mean you’re drinking in broad daylight and no
one is judging you.”
Thoriso: “I’m not judging you at all.”
Gugu: “How about this? How about you stick to

telling me about your life and I just listen while
enjoying my drink okay?”
Thoriso: “Okay then.”
Page 54 of 1871
She could not even get to the second bottle by the
time she was done with the first. She was beyond
wasted which really worried Thoriso.
Thoriso: “Eish (Oh no). You are drunk. Your

grandmother is going to kill me.”
Gugu: “She won’t. That’s why you are taking me to

my house – not my grandmother’s house.”
Thoriso: (appalled) “No way. I am not taking you

there. Do you want me to get arrested for giving you
alcohol Gugu?”
Gugu: “Fine just drop me near the corner or

something. Do you want to be responsible for my
disappearance?”
Thoriso: “You are not playing fair.”
Gugu: “Life’s not fair – those are your words aren’t

they?”
Thoriso: (sigh) “I should have never had a drink with a

child. I just never learn.”
Page 55 of 1871
Gugu was dropped by the corner but Thoriso was so
worried about her that he asked for her number.
Before she walked out he made a request.
Thoriso: “When you get home make sure you drink

lots of water and a painkiller before you pass out. I
will call you in a few minutes.”
Gugu: “Sure. See you soon.”
Thoriso himself was playing a dangerous game. He

was far too old to be entertaining a young girl like
Gugu. He had a chance that day to listen to her
problems and talk her out of drinking alcohol but
unfortunately they bonded in a very unconventional
way. She tried her best to walk straight and avoid
people on her way home. She was supposed to go to
her grandmother’s house that day but never made it
there. When she walked in her parents were about to
eat dinner.
David: “Gugu aren’t you supposed to be with your

grandmother?”
Page 56 of 1871
Gugu: “I changed my mind. Is that a problem?”
David: “No not at all.”
Zandile: (annoyed) “Gugu that is no way to speak to

your father.”
Gugu: “He is not my father!”
Zandile: “What did you just say?”
David: “Let her be Zandi.”
Zandile: “Are you drunk?”
Gugu: “Yoh (oh)! Ntlogeleng bathong (leave me alone

for goodness sake)!”
She stormed to her room with David telling Zandile to

let her be.
Zandile: (angrily) “You saw what she did just there

David!”
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David: “Yes my love I did. She is a teenager. They all
turn out like this at some point.”
Zandile: (angrily) “It doesn’t give her the right to

disrespect you like that!”
David: “Please calm down. It is not good for the

baby.”
Zandile: “And since when does she drink?! I mean she

is only thirteen!”
David: “We will speak to her when she has sobered

up. Let her be.”
Zandile: “What do I tell uMa (mom) when she asks

about her?”
David: “Tell her that she didn’t want to leave and she
is sleeping. We will deal with all this tomorrow
morning.”
Zandile was fuming but had to try and stay calm.

Meanwhile Gugu was in her own world. She felt as if
her entire world was spinning. Her head was spinning
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the moment she fell on the bed. Her phone rang and
it was Thoriso as promised. It took her a while to
reach her phone.
Gugu: “Hello.”
Thoriso: “Hi it’s me Thoriso.”
Gugu: “Oh hi.”
Thoriso: “Did you do what I asked? Did you have

some water and a pain killer?”
Gugu: “No my head is spinning. I think I am going to

be sick.”
Thoriso: “You won’t get up feeling well tomorrow

morning if you don’t do what I say.”
Gugu: “Bye.”
She just hung up and attempted to go to the

bathroom. She never made it as she vomited all over
her bed and on the floor. It was lights out from that
moment onwards. Gugu forgot a crucial part about
Page 59 of 1871
what Rosina taught her. She forgot to pray and trust
in the Lord. She was going through a tough time like
many teenagers but she lacked nothing. Her parents
loved her and so did her grandmother. She had no
reason to doubt David being her father since he was a
loving and consistent father figure to her. It is only
when she began feeding on the poison she was being
fed by members of the community and peers that she
started derailing from all her teachings. Things were
about to get worse because even family members
don’t ever want to see anyone happy – not even
children.
As Proverbs 3:5-6 says; – “Trust in the Lord with all

your heart and do not lean on your own
understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and
he will make straight your paths.”
Chapter 5
Proverbs 23: 13-14 – “Do not withhold discipline from
a child; if you strike him with a rod he will not die. If
you strike him with the rod you will save his soul from
Sheol.”
Gugu slept throughout the night without even getting

up on time for school. The smell of her own vomit
Page 60 of 1871
was not enough to get her up. When it was time for
school Zandile attempted to wake her up for school.
When she entered her room the smell of vomit was
enough to anger her even more. She went back to
the kitchen and called out to David.
Zandile: (shouting) “David! David! Come and see

what your daughter has done!”
He rushed out of their bedroom.
David: “What is it? What happened?”
Zandile: “Go to her bedroom and see for yourself. She

can’t even get up for bloody school!”
David: “Calm down I will get her up.”
He went in and found her sound asleep. He was

angered by what he saw but he was not determined
to give up on her. He adored her and was much
calmer than Zandile was.
David: “Gugu Gugu wake up. It is time for school.”
Page 61 of 1871
Gugu was tossing and turning. Although she could
hear his voice she didn’t attempt to wake up. Zandile
got mad all over again and went to the bathroom.
She took a bucket and filled it with cold water and
headed straight to Gugu’s bedroom yet again.
David: “Zandi wait a minute now.”
Zandile: “Out of the way David.”
David: “Please don’t do that.”
She was a raging pregnant woman whose 13 year old

daughter had come back home drinking. Of course
she was going to be enraged about it. She poured all
the contents of that bucket onto Gugu. David got
some of the water on him as he didn’t move away in
time. Gugu jumped up in the speed of light.
Gugu: “Yoh (wow)! What’s happening? What time is

it? Oh my head!”
Zandile: (angrily) “It is time for you to get yourself to

school! Angithi umfazi wena (you’re a woman now
aren’t you)?! I was not aware that David had two
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wives! You are going to get in that bathroom and
clean yourself up! I expect you to be at school in an
hour!”
Zandile stormed out furiously with the calm David

following her. He begged her to take it easy. Being
pregnant in your thirties was already hard enough.
They got into their vehicles and drove to work. David
ensured that he would get someone to check on
Gugu at school during the day. He just begged Zandile
to take it easy. Things were already bad and Regina
had no idea what her granddaughter was getting up
to. Gugu had a very bad migraine and she knew there
was no way she would survive at school. She also
knew that the neighbours would tell on her had she
stayed home all day so she hatched a plan and
decided to call her new partner in crime.
Thoriso: “Hey what’s up?”
Gugu: “Nothing. Where are you?”
Thoriso: “I was about to drive to town.”
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Gugu: “Change your route and pick me up at the bus
stop. I will be waiting for you in my uniform.”
She hung up before he could even ask. She put on

her uniform and walked out of the house as if she was
headed to school. She waited at the bus stop like
anyone else and when she saw Thoriso’s car pulling
up she waited no further. She walked towards it until
he met with her. She got into the car and instructed
him to drive.
Thoriso: “Okay uh where are we going?”
Gugu: “Wherever you were headed.”
Thoriso: “Are you kidding me? You are dressed in

your uniform. People will notice you.”
Gugu: “I will hide in the car or something. Don’t be so

loud. My head is pounding.”
Thoriso: (shaking head) “You are really going to get

me into trouble one day Gugu.”
Gugu: “Well it is not as if this doesn’t excite you.”
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Thoriso went to run some errands while Gugu was
hiding herself in the car. He came back with a bottle
of water and a grandpa.
Thoriso: “Here you go. This should alleviate some of

your pain.”
Gugu: “Thanks.”
Thoriso got back into the driver’s seat and drove off.
Gugu slept for a while in the car. It is amazing what
teenagers can do. She chose to trust a boy she didn’t
even know. A boy that was much older than her. He
stopped by a friend’s house and gently woke her up.
Thoriso: “Hey wake up.”
Gugu: “Where are we?”
Thoriso: “At a friend’s house. Don’t worry it’s safe

here.”
Gugu nodded and walked out of the car and quickly

into the yard with Thoriso. The gate was very high
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and no one could see what was happening inside of
the yard. The yard itself looked a bit filthy while the
inside of the house looked even worse. There were
dishes everywhere and the floor was not clean at all.
One could tell that a boy was living there; an untidy
boy that is. Thoriso knocked on the door.
Thoriso: (knocking) “Thabang! Open the door. It’s

me.”
After a shortwhile a scruffy looking boy opened the

door. He had dreadlocks and was quite tall and thin.
He smelled a bit of weed too.
Thoriso: “Eh monna (hey man) why did it take you so

long to open the door?”
Thabang: “Sorry man. I was a bit busy. Who’s this?

Are you bringing school kids here now?”
Thoriso: “Don’t be like that man. This is my friend

Gugu.”
Thabang: (frowning) “Hey don’t I know you from

somewhere?”
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Gugu: “Eish (Oh) Thoriso are we going to go in or
what? I just need to take a nap for a few hours.”
Thoriso: “Yeah Tman. Ra kena or bjang (are you going

to let us in or what)?”
Thabang: “Fine. Come in.”

The both of them walked in and Gugu found the first
spot on a couch that looked close to being clean.
Needless to say the place was a real mess.
Thoriso: “I am going to get us some food. Will you be

okay being here alone?”
Gugu: “As long as no one will just barge in here.”
Thoriso: “It’s okay. Thapelo will lock the doors until

we come back. The bathroom is over there in case
you need to go okay?”
She nodded while they did as promised and left. An

hour later they returned with some food; braai meat
with pap and chakalaka - the perfect hangover
remedy. Gugu became a bit alarmed when she heard
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the kitchen door being unlocked. Thankfully it was
the two of them.
Thoriso: “We’re back. I hope we weren’t gone for too

long.”
Gugu: “No not really. I managed to catch up on some

sleep.”
Thoriso: “How’s the headache?”
Gugu: “A little better.”
Thoriso: “We got you some food.”
She dug in and felt a little better afterwards.
Thapelo: “So how did you two meet?”
Gugu: “We met in the neighbourhood.”
Thapelo: “I see. Aren’t you a little too young to be

hanging out with guys our age?”
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Thoriso: “Back off Thapelo won’t you? I mean why
are you acting like you weren’t with your baby mama
when she was only 15 years of age?”
Thapelo: “That’s different.”
Thoriso: “How so? Teenagers are teenagers at the

end of the day.”
Gugu: “Besides Thoriso and I aren’t a thing if that’s

what you are insinuating.”
Thapelo: “I’m just saying. Teens come with a lot of

drama. You saw what happened with Pearl.”
Thoriso ignored Thapelo and enjoyed his meal with

Gugu. Soon afterwards he smoked a joint along with
some beer.
Gugu: “Is that weed?”
Thoriso: (nodding) “Yep.”
Gugu: “I’d like to try some.”
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Thoriso: (shaking head) “No weed is not for kids. You
saw what the alcohol did to you. I never should have
given you any.”
Gugu: “Don’t be so uptight. You’ve been naughty

once in your life before.”
Thoriso: “Yeah but you’re a girl.”
Gugu: (frowning) “What the hell is that supposed to

mean?”
Thoriso: “Nothing.”
Her phone rang and it was her mother. She knew

very well that the school must have called her parents
to let them know that she wasn’t at school that day.
Gugu: “Eish (oh) dammit!”
Thapelo: “What is it? Tshipi e llile (has the bell rung

yet)?”
Gugu: “My mom is calling me. The school must have

notified her that I wasn’t there.”
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Thapelo: “Well maybe it is time to disappear baby
girl. You wouldn’t want us to get arrested do you?”
Thoriso: “Ema pele wena (just wait a second) man.”
Gugu: “It’s okay. I have to go in any case.”
Thoriso: “Where will you go? It’s only 12pm. You’re

still dressed in uniform.”
Gugu: “I’ll go to my grandmother’s. I’ll say I was let go

because I wasn’t feeling well or something.”
Thoriso: “Gugu you attend a private school. Your

family is not that stupid you know. I’ll drop you off
nearby when most kids are returning from school.
That will be an hour from now.”
Gugu: (nodding) “Okay.”
She chilled with the two of them for a little while and
all she could think of was what her grandmother and
parents would say. Perhaps she went a little
overboard with the entire activities of the day prior.
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She was getting more anxious as the minutes went
by. When 1 o’clock finally struck she couldn’t wait any
longer. She jumped up from the couch.
Gugu: “It’s time Thoriso.”
Thoriso: “For someone who was too anxious to leave

her house this morning you are singing a different
tune.”
Gugu: “Eish (Oh) I am the one who is going to have to

face my parents.”
Thoriso: “Okay then. Let me take you home.”
They greeted goodbye to Thapelo and got into

Thoriso’s car. He tried to calm her the entire drive but
she was actually scared for the first time in a very long
while.
Gugu: “Drop me here around the corner. I’ll be fine.”
Thoriso: “Okay then. I will call you.”
Gugu: “Sure.”
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She got out hastily and made her way to her
grandmother’s house. She found Regina sitting under
her favourite tree reading a book.
Gugu: (nervously) “Dumela (hello) Koko (granny).”
Regina: “Mmm.”
Gugu: (apprehensively) “Uh forgive me for only

arriving today. I didn’t feel like coming yesterday.”
Regina: “Mmm.”
Her brief answers were not a very good sign.
Gugu: “Let me go change I’ll see you in a bit.”
Regina: “Don’t take too long. I want to talk to you.”
She was panicking so much that she started to sweat.

She knew if she took too long to get dressed that
Mam’Regina would have come into to the house to
find her. She quickly changed out of her uniform and
began thinking of a few ways the conversation could
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turn out. She took her phone with her and headed
outside. She was so nervous that she didn’t bother to
observe what was around her. She found
Mam’Regina still reading her book sitting in the same
position.
Regina: “Go get a chair for yourself and come sit right
next to me.”
She did as instructed and sat next to her. Regina put

her book down and started talking to her calmly.
Regina: “So what happened yesterday?”
Gugu: (nervously) “Uh I don’t know what you mean.”
Regina: “Hmm you know very well I hate repeating

myself.”
She took a branch reed she removed from the tree

and placed it on her lap. She always used it to teach
her a lesson or two whenever she went out of line.
Gugu: (apprehensively) “Uh I went out after school…

to visit a friend.”
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Regina: “Which friend? Last time I checked you didn’t
really have friends.”
Gugu: “It’s no one really.”
Regina: “Then what happened?”
Gugu: “Then… I came home later than expected.”
Regina took one look at her and became even more

annoyed that she was being lied to.
Regina: “And today? What happened today?”
Gugu: “I decided to go back home this morning

because I felt a bit dizzy on my way to the bus stop.”
Regina was boiling from the inside. Lies was her pet
peeve. She grabbed Gugu’s arm firmly with one hand
and started whipping her with the reed using her
other. She was big bodied so she had a lot more
power than Gugu had. The moment she started
whipping she was scolding her at the same time.
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Regina: (angrily) “Did I raise you to lie to me like this
huh?! I just asked you three simple questions and you
lied to my face! You are thirteen years old Gugulethu
thirteen! How the fuck did you end up drinking
alcohol?! Who sold it to you?!”
Gugu felt like she was dying. She was being beaten on
every part of her body.
Gugu: (crying) “I’m sorry Gogo (granny)! I didn’t

mean to!”
Regina: “And then you disrespect your parents like

that?! Are you trying to kill your mother before she
gives birth?!”
Gugu was in pain but what was stressing her more

was the fact that everyone was passing by laughing as
she was being beaten by her grandmother.
Gugu: (shouting) “Ouch stop it Gogo (granny)! O

ntshegisa ka batho (you’re making me a laughing
stock)!”
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Regina: “Let them laugh if it will beat some sense into
you!”
She managed to pull away from Regina’s grip and run

into the house. She thought Mam’Regina would let
her be but she didn’t – she followed her right in. She
couldn’t lock herself into the bedroom because she
had removed the key from the door.
Regina: (angrily) “I will not ask you again Gugu. Who

were you with yesterday?!”
Gugu: (crying) “I wasn’t with anyone Gogo I swear.”
Regina: “I know you were with that boy Thoriso. You

can spare me the lies. Are you having sex Gugu? Is
that why you weren’t at school today?”
Gugu: “No Koko I swear. I was at home because I

wasn’t feeling well after vomiting all that alcohol. I
swear.”
Regina: “Why did you even drink? Did I teach you

how to drink? Did your mother teach you that? And
your father?”
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Gugu: “No I was just… I was just going through a lot.”
Regina: “I go through a lot every day do you see me

giving myself to alcohol Gugu?”
Gugu: “No Gogo.”
Regina: “You can lie really. If you can lie at this age
imagine what you would be capable of when you’re
16. You were with a boy and I am taking you to a
doctor to determine if you are okay and safe. Boys
can make you sick. They will give you want you want
let me tell you that.”
Gugu: (crying) “I swear Gogo I am not having sex with

anyone. I don’t even have a boyfriend.”
Regina: “You are still going. I don’t trust you.”
Gugu: “I will tell you the truth.”
Regina: “Don’t keep me waiting.”
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Gugu: “Yes I was with Thoriso. I begged him to buy
alcohol for me. I didn’t do anything with him. I
swear. This morning I wasn’t feeling too well so I
asked him to come fetch me. We spent the day at his
friend’s house. I swear all he did was get me food.
Nothing happened.”
She thought that the truth would make her

grandmother be more at ease but it just made
everything even worse.
Regina: “Come on let’s go.”
Gugu: “Where are we going?”
Regina: “You don’t get to ask me that – not today.”
She took her car keys and locked the house. They
both got into her car and she drove out. Gugu was
afraid thinking that she was indeed being taken to the
doctor but her grandmother had other ideas. She
drove for about 15 minutes and stopped outside a
house Gugu had never been to. She could feel that it
was about to go down.
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Gugu: (teary) “Where are we Gogo?”
Regina: “Etswa ka mo koloing (get out of the car).”
She knew better than to wait for her to ask twice. She
got out of the car and Regina opened the gate hastily.
She found a woman a bit older than Zandile in the
kitchen along with Tshiamo who was helping the
woman peel while she was cooking. She assumed she
was her mother since they looked alike. Gugu knew
she was never going to hear the end of it from
Tshiamo and her friends at school.
Tshiamo’s mom: (smiling) “Oh Mam’Regina. I wasn’t

expecting you here. How are you?”
Regina: “I am fine how are you?”
Tshiamo’s mom: “I’m alright thank you. To what do I

owe the pleasure?”
Regina: “Is your son home?”
Tshiamo’s mom: (frowning) “Thoriso? No he is out.

Why? Is there a problem?”
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Regina: “Not really. Do you mind calling him? I won’t
say much until he gets here.”
Tshiamo’s mom knew that it was serious while

Tshiamo couldn’t wipe that smirk off her face. She
was enjoying the drama before it even began.
Tshiamo’s mom: “Oh okay then. Tshiamo call your
brother and tell him to come home immediately.”
Tshiamo: (smiling) “Yes mom.”
She called her brother while Tshiamo’s mother

offered them some tea.
Regina: “I’d love some tea thank you.”
Gugu declined politely.
Tshiamo’s mom: “Are you sure you don’t want to

come into the house?”
Regina: “I am perfectly settled out here my dear.

Don’t let me keep you from cooking. We don’t mind
waiting.”
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Tshiamo’s mom nodded while she couldn’t help but
think of the worst. She thought that Thoriso probably
impregnated Gugu or something. Judging by the
bruises she saw on Gugu’s body she could tell that she
was in trouble with her grandmother. They sat out
there for about 15 to 20 minutes until Thoriso parked
his car just outside the gate. When he approached
the gate his heart nearly dropped as he saw
Mam’Regina with the worried Gugu sitting outside. It
was too late to turn back; it would have raised
suspicion. Tshiamo went right outside when she
heard his car park.
Tshiamo: (shouting) “Mama o gotlile (he has

arrived)!”
Tshiamo’s mom went outside to confirm and saw that

it was true. She went back to the kitchen to get some
more chairs for herself and Thoriso. He removed his
hat off his head as a sign of respect but Regina was
not buying it. He smelled of booze and weed at
exactly 5pm. Clearly there was nothing else he could
do with his time.
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Thoriso: “Dumelang (greetings).”
Tshiamo’s mom: “Thoriso please sit.”
He sat down next to her while Tshiamo was standing

next to her mother.
Tshiamo’s mom: “Tshiamo go finish up the pots

before you burn the food.”
Tshiamo: “Okay.”
She went to the kitchen while eavesdropping from

the stove.
Tshiamo’s mom: “Mam’Regina has been waiting with

Gugu here for almost half an hour now. They
requested to see you personally. Is there anything I
should know about?”
Thoriso: (shaking head) “No Mama.”
Regina: “I’ll state my case and not waste your time

further. Your son here was seen gallivanting with my
granddaughter yesterday. She came back home to
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her parents’ house drunk as a bloody skunk. She was
so drunk that she even vomited all over her
bedroom.”
Gugu looked down in shame while Thoriso was

adamant that it was all lies.
Thoriso: (shaking head) “Aowa (no) Mama. That is not

true. Ga se nnete (it is not true).”
Regina: (angrily) “Oh? Are you saying I am lying

boy?!”
Thoriso backed down when he realized she was

beside herself.
Tshiamo’s mom: “Look Mam’Regina. I don’t think my

son meant it in a harmful way. I just think he means
that he didn’t do anything wrong with her. Am I
right?”
Thoriso: “Yes.”
Regina: “I don’t care what he says. I could go to the

police station right now and lay a charge of statutory
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rape against your son. Maybe we should wait for your
father and see how he would react to this news.”
Tshiamo’s mom: “Okay Mme (ma) I hear your

concerns but I think you are overreacting. My son
would never do that to a girl this young. She is
practically his sister’s age. I mean he is studying at
University and he wouldn’t jeopardize his future like
this.”
Regina: (chuckling) “Oh he is studying now isn’t he?

Why don’t you tell your mother the truth Thoriso?
Why don’t you tell her that they never accepted you
at University and that you spend your time drinking
and smoking weed all bloody day. You use the money
your parents give you to get stoned with your friend.
Am I still lying?”
Thoriso was so shocked as to how she knew all of

that. He looked down in shame and said nothing.
That was enough to make his mother realize that her
son was a loser.
Page 85 of 1871
Regina: “From now on please stay away from my
granddaughter or else I will get you arrested. I hope
all is clear now Mme (Ma).”
Tshiamo’s mom nodded in humiliation as Regina and

Gugu left. She didn’t know what to say to her son.
Gugu had started something that was just the tip of
the iceberg. Despite everything she had and all the
support she was given she still made bad choices. At
times even the best parents produce the most horrid
children.
As Proverbs 20:11 says; “Even a child makes himself

known by his acts by whether his conduct is pure and
upright.”
Chapter 6
Proverbs 13:1 – “A wise son hears his father's
instruction but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.”
Mam’Regina was still very angry at Gugu for her

behaviour. Despite it all she still loved her. When they
got back home that day she gave her one long lecture
about boys and the difference between right and
wrong. They had a lengthy conversation about life
and it seemed as she was getting through to Gugu at
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the time. She made them dinner and cooked for
Gugu. They had a pleasant meal and prayed together
as usual before bed time. The following morning
Gugu swallowed her pride and went to school.
Anyone who attempted to speak of her and the entire
Thoriso situation she promised to beat them up. She
had peace for a few days despite those who wanted
to gossip behind her back. She didn’t go home for the
rest of the week and Mam’Regina reassured her
parents that she was fine and full of remorse. They
too felt a bit bad that they hadn’t spoken to her in a
while but Mam’Regina suggested that they meet at
church the coming Sunday.
Regina: “Gugu I have good news. This Sunday after

church we’re going to your father’s funeral for Sunday
lunch.”
Gugu: “Okay.”
Regina: “Don’t worry. Your parents are not angry at

you. Do yourself and them a favour and just call
them. They just want to make sure you are alright.”
Gugu: “I will do that.”
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She hadn’t spoken to Thoriso ever since that day and
he hadn’t called either. Regina was glad that Gugu
was sort of back to normal but she knew it wasn’t
going to last very long. Sunday morning came and it
was church day as always. Gugu was dressed in a
dress and no matter long or short her curvaceous
figure would always stand out. She decided to speak
to David and Zandile a few days prior most probably
to ease her conscience and to make everything easier
for Sunday. David came by the house with Zandile to
fetch both Regina and Gugu. It was a bit awkward at
first and she noticed slight swelling in her mother’s
face. It must have been from the growing pregnancy
with her being 6 months pregnant. They spoke briefly
and tried to keep the conversation going even though
Gugu could barely look at her parents. They went to
church and the service was a lot more awkward for
her when she spotted Thoriso along with his parents
and Tshiamo right across them. He looked like he was
forced to be there. Church is a really big event
amongst black families so it made sense that they
were all there. They were the ideal family; with both
mother and father and successful parents. He looked
so out of place though most probably because he got
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a tongue lashing from his parents. It couldn’t have
been easy for his father to find out he was wasting
their money by drinking and smoking all day. The
pastor preached about something very close to
Gugu’s experience that week ‘The importance of
disciplining your children’.
Pastor: “Children are a gift from God. Don’t we all

know that? Just like God made it a point for Mary to
birth Jesus we know that women go through lengths
to carry and birth our children. The hard part apart
from giving birth is raising a well-mannered child.
With so much evil in this world one cannot be
certain. Proverbs 29:17 says; “Discipline your son and
he will give you rest; he will give delight to your
heart.” We all ought to discipline our children. So
many parents walk around like they are perfect; they
do not want their children to grow up in a cycle of
trauma that they grew up in but then who are you
fooling parents? If you give your children everything
that they desire you are spoiling the child. Colossians
3:20 says; “Children obey your parents in everything
for this pleases the Lord.” It is your duty as a parent to
discipline your child but you children have a duty to
respect and obey your parents as said in the 10
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commandments. I say unto you; even the most
perfect parents who follow God’s rules who love
unconditionally who discipline without fear and weary
can still produce atrocious children. The Devil works
overtime and attacks even the Godliest children. I say
unto you parents; protect your children at all costs.
Pray for your children and most importantly pray with
them. Teach them to fend for themselves should the
Devil strike when you are not there. The world is full
of evil; drugs have overtaken our youth and alcohol
has become their number one goal in life. Too many
of them have children they don’t even want and that
they are not even ready to care for.”
It felt like the pastor was just adding fuel to the fire for
Gugu but little did she know that he was speaking of
something that she was bound to experience and
choose. After the service they headed straight to
David’s family home which was not very far away.
David was a loving man and most of his family was
also great – until Zandile was expecting David’s first
biological child. They hid their true feelings very well
but they created the iceberg by poisoning a child. His
mother was very sweet and loved Gugu much like her
own but his bitter sister – not so much. She would
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pretend whenever David was around because he was
assisting her quite a lot financially. She had three
children and was never married. That is enough to
cause bitterness and unhappiness in a broken black
woman. While the rest were preparing for the lunch
Gugu was sitting nearby the patio playing with her
phone. David’s sister Deborah decided to take it upon
herself to traumatize the poor child.
Deborah: (smiling) “Oh there you are. I have been

looking all over for you.”
Gugu: “Oh hi Auntie. Is there something you need?”
Deborah: “Oh no. I was just here to check on you.

How are you doing? I mean how are you really
doing?”
Gugu: “I am doing fine.”
Deborah: “Hmm it must be quite hard with the new

baby coming and all hey.”
Gugu: “What do you mean?”
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Deborah: “I mean you will no longer be the one who
gets all the attention. And since it will be David’s very
first child I can only imagine what will happen to you.”
Deborah was beyond evil. Gugu’s heart felt as if she

had a sharp thorn go through her chest. Pain always
stings no matter how it is received.
Gugu: (teary) “I don’t know what you’re talking about

Auntie. My father loves me.”
Deborah: “Oh honey. I am so sorry they all lied to

you. He was just doing you a favour. He only took you
in as his daughter because he had no choice. If he
really loved you would he have gone as far as to have
his own child with your mother?”
Deborah noticed the child’s reaction and smiled. Her

words hit the right spot and were just what she
wanted. Gugu was on the brink of crying.
Deborah: “If I were you I’d do anything and everything

in my power to ensure that I stay the only child. That
way no love would be taken away from me. I mean
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you saw with my children. They all belong to one
man. It is just a thought hey.”
Deborah had three children with a married man. He

divorced his wife and still went on to marry someone
else to show Deborah that he wasn’t intended on
marrying her at all. She was acrimoniously
unpleasant to be around. Her entire family knew
that. David walked in on Deborah brushing Gugu’s
shoulder. He noticed that Gugu was about to cry.
David: (concerned) “Gugu I’ve been looking all over

for you. We’re about to have dessert. Are you
alright?”
Gugu: (sniffing) “I’m fine.”
She ran out of the room leaving David in wonder.
David: “What did you say to her? And why were you
all alone with her?”
Deborah: “I don’t understand what you’re insinuating

David but I don’t appreciate it.”
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David: “You appreciate nothing Deborah. We all know
that you hate my daughter with a passion.”
Deborah: “She’s not your daughter – she’s your step

daughter!”
David: “This is the reason why Clement dumped you

and married another woman. You are an evil woman
and I hope you can live with that. If anything happens
to Gugu and I find out it is your fault you can kiss me
goodbye. You will be faced with taking care of your
own children for once in your life.”
Deborah suddenly felt a bit regretful only because she

stood a chance at losing all the benefits. David
ensured that her children went to private schools.
They didn’t lack anything while Deborah was lying on
her ass all day doing absolutely nothing. She had no
goals and dreams and moved into adulthood just like
that. David went looking for Gugu who had locked
herself in one of the bedrooms. He tried reaching out
to her but he let her be. He hated forcing her to do
anything. Sunday lunch was unpleasant from that
moment onwards until the time they all went back
home. The ride back home was quiet and rather
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tense. Gugu barely said a word and neither did
David. He just had a hunch that Deborah got to her.
He felt guilty for letting them spend the day with his
family knowing very well how Deborah felt about his
daughter. Once they got to Regina’s house Gugu was
the very first one to open the door.
David: “Gugu I thought you’d be coming home with us

today.”
Gugu: “Actually I’d like to stay with Gogo (granny) for a

little while if that’s okay with you.”
Zandile and David knew that their relationship with

their daughter would take a miracle to recover; that’s
if it was going to recover at all.
Zandile: “Okay then. Take good care of yourself okay?

I’ll call you when we get home.”
Gugu just nodded and proceeded to the house.
Regina: “Is everything alright with her? She was just

fine this morning.”
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David: (sigh) “I don’t know but I suspect Deborah said
something very unpleasant to her.”
Regina: (angrily) “I’m sorry David but your sister is just

one mean and miserable bitch!”
Zandile: “Ma!”
David: “I actually concur. I found her with Gugu

before dessert was served and it just looked
suspicious. When I confronted her she referred to
Gugu as my stepdaughter. Can you imagine the nerve
of that woman? After everything I have done for her
and her children.”
Regina: “This explains everything and Gugu’s

behaviour this entire week. I think that she is
experiencing anxiety with the baby coming. Everyone
around her is telling her that you are not her father. I
mean that is enough to damage a teenage girl.”
David: (teary) “But I don’t understand Ma. I have

treated Gugu with so much love and care and I have
never made her feel any less. I mean I love her Ma.
How can Deborah be so cruel? I make sure they don’t
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lack anything. All I have ever asked for is that they
respect and love my family.”
He couldn’t control his tears. Zandile was hormonal

and emotional as expected in a pregnant woman.
Her tears involuntarily ran down her cheeks. She tried
so hard to shield Gugu from pain and all the evil of the
world but sadly it just wasn’t enough. Evil is
everywhere; in families communities schools and the
media. We cannot run from it but we can try and do
our best to show our children love and expose them
to the love of God as much as we can.
Regina: (sigh) “You’re a doctor David. Can’t you get

her to go to therapy or something? I mean she clearly
needs it – before things go terribly out of hand.”
David: (nodding) “Okay. I can get an appointment set

up for her as soon as possible.”
Regina: “Okay we will talk tomorrow. You two call me

the moment you get home okay?”
David: “Okay.”
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Zandile: “Bye Ma.”
Regina: “Goodbye.”
She went into the house to check up on Gugu who

was already in bed at 6pm. She knocked on her
bedroom door before entering.
Regina: “Hey I just wanted to check on you and see if

you’re okay.”
Gugu: “I’m fine Koko (granny).”
Regina: “You didn’t have dessert today. How about

some ice cream with me? For old times’ sake?”
Gugu: “Thanks Koko (granny) but I’m okay.”
Regina: “You do know you can talk to me about

anything you want to right?”
Gugu: “Yes I know.”
Regina: “Alright then. I guess this is good night.”
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Gugu: “Good night.”
She closed the door and Gugu decided to text

someone surprising.
Gugu: “Hey can we talk?”
He was online but took a while to respond to the

message. Just when she was a bout to delete the
message out of regret he decided to respond.
Thoriso: “Hey sure what’s up?”
Gugu: “I was about to delete this message.”
Thoriso: “Well I have contemplated calling you for

days but after what happened I wasn’t so sure.”
Gugu: “I’m sorry about what happened. It wasn’t my

idea at all.”
Thoriso: “Relax I know. Your grandmother is one

feisty woman. Thanks to her I got my allowance
revoked.”
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Gugu: “I’m so sorry. I have no idea where she got that
information from.”
Thoriso: “Like you said she has powers right?”
Gugu: “Lol yeah.”
Thoriso: “You sound very down. Is everything okay?”
Gugu: “Not really. I’m just not having a very good

day.”
Thoriso: “You want to talk about it?”
Gugu: “I’m just afraid you know. I mean you never get
to deal with anxiety about your father’s love for you.”
Thoriso: “What do you mean? I am the fuck up in the

family.”
Gugu: “What I mean is that you don’t get to worry if

he will ever stop loving you. David is my stepdad. I
never saw him like that until it was shoved in my face.
And now with my mom being pregnant I am worried
that I will never get to be loved by him ever again.”
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Thoriso: “Did he tell you that?”
Gugu: “No.”
Thoriso: “Did he ever make you feel like that?”
Gugu: “Not really.”
Thoriso: “Then there is no reason for you to listen to

other people. People talk it happens and they will
never stop.”
Gugu: “I guess you’re right.”
Thoriso: “Try talking to your parents. You’d be very

surprised at what they have to say.”
Gugu: “You are quite the therapist.”
Thoriso: “Lol no I doubt it. Hey I hope Tshiamo and

her friends haven’t bothered you at school ever since
that day. I mean I heard her talking to her friend
about you. I smacked her for that.”
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Gugu: “She tried but they all know I am very good at
moering a person.”
Thoriso: “Haha well if they ever bother you again.

Feel free to let me know.”
Gugu: “I will. I have to go to bed. I have school

tomorrow.”
Thoriso: “Sure I am glad you texted. Don’t be a

stranger.”
Gugu: “Cool. Bye.”
She prayed as she was taught and went straight to

bed. The following morning came and she was up
and ready on time much to Regina’s surprise.
Regina: “Wow you’re up so early.”
Gugu: “It’s time for change grandma.”
Regina: “Hey before you go. Your birthday is coming

up in a few days. Is there anything you would like to
do?”
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Gugu: (shaking head) “No I just want to spend it with
the people I love; you Mama and Papa. That’s all.”
Regina: “Are you sure? I mean I was thinking of

having a party for you. It is high time you made some
friends.”
Gugu: “We’ll talk about this later okay?”
Regina: “Okay then. Bye bye.”
She went on to school and had a rather normal day.

By the end of the day Tshiamo tried her luck yet again
with the overly emotional Gugu. She was just walking
out of the gate when Tshiamo was right outside with
her friends.
Tshiamo: “Hey freak! You’re the one who told my

brother to beat me up didn’t you?”
Gugu: (frowning) “Excuse me?”
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Tshiamo: “Yes I mean it all makes sense now. Your
grandmother came to our house because you are
fucking my brother!”
Gugu: “I’d hold my tongue if I were you Tshiamo!”
Tshiamo: “Or what? I mean it’s probably a good thing

your mom is pregnant. Now we will all get to see
what a useless thing you are. You are not worthy of
love!”
Gugu was so bewildered. She had hit Tshiamo before

and was warned by the school that one more fight
would have meant expulsion. Everyone knew that
most probably hence Tshiamo aggravated her that
day. She couldn’t understand what she had done to
anyone to deserve such hate. She just gave Tshiamo
one look and looked at the friends who were cheering
her on and thought to herself; “what do I have to
lose? I’ll just go to another school right?” She didn’t
hesitate and a punch landed on Tshiamo’s face. It was
so hard that she fell onto the ground. It looked like a
pre-mediated scenario because the moment Tshiamo
landed onto the ground they started screaming out
for help. She decided to hell with it. She got on top of
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Tshiamo and kept on punching her. It felt so good for
her to release all her anger at that point. She didn’t
stop until someone forcibly removed her from
Tshiamo who was bleeding profusely.
Tshiamo: (crying) “You all saw that didn’t you?! She

tried to kill me! I am going to press charges! Call my
father!”
They were both taken to the headmaster’s office with

Gugu having a smirk on her face. She was actually
delighted to see Tshiamo in so much pain. She had
had enough of people messing with her like that. The
headmaster had also had enough of Gugu’s
behaviour. Her parents were called immediately
despite her asking her to call her grandmother.
Tshiamo’s parents were the first to arrive and were
bewildered to see their daughter bleeding like that.
Tshiamo’s mom: (angrily) “What do we pay school

fees for if you’re going to have delinquents like these
on the school premises?!”
Headmaster: “If you could please sit so that we can

discuss this?”
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Gugu’s parents also arrived just in time and heard
Tshiamo’s parents insulting Gugu like that.
David: “Excuse me. No one will insult my daughter

like that!”
Tshiamo’s mom: “We’ve had enough of this girl

beating up my daughter every chance she gets!”
Zandile: “And we are tired of your daughter constantly

bullying ours! You as the headmaster are supposed to
have policies in place for bullies isn’t it? But it seems
that my daughter is the only one who comes under
fire for defending herself!”
Tshiamo’s dad: “Don’t use your lawyer tone with us

Ma’am! Your daughter is a delinquent and if anything
we should be laying charges!”
Zandile: “If you think I am going to let this go you have

another thing coming.”
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Gugu: “It’s okay Mama. I am tired of this school in any
case. Please take me to another school. It seems as if
it is not the best school after all.”
Zandile: “You can rest assured that I will tell everyone

about your treatment concerning my daughter. You
think about that before you go to bed tonight
headmaster!”
David and Zandile took Gugu along with them and

headed to the car. Zandile felt as if she had failed her
daughter. She was overwhelmed with emotions and
the moment she got into the car she just burst into
tears. She couldn’t hide it. David tried calming her
down and she just instructed her to drive. Gugu felt a
little bad for her mother. She didn’t deserve all that
stress she was putting her through more especially in
her condition. David was fuming at the hospital and
ensured that he would make the headmaster pay for
everything she had undergone. They went to Regina’s
house with Zandile still unsettled.
Regina: “What happened?”
David explained everything while fuming.
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David: “Can you believe the nerve of that woman?!
Expelling my daughter who has clearly been the
victim in all this for so many months!”
Regina: (sigh) “Gugu why didn’t you tell us what was

happening?”
Gugu: “I… I didn’t want to make any of you worry. You

have all got so much going on in your lives.”
Regina: “Still Gugu can’t you see your mother is in

tears because of this? We are all not okay. It still
doesn’t mean it is right to assault anyone but she has
been bullying you for quite some time.”
Gugu: “I told you I can take care of myself. Besides I

can just go to another school. That one is pretty
boring in any case.”
Regina: “Where will you find a good school if that

woman’s report will include all of your
transgressions?”
Gugu: “Where there is a will there is most certainly a

way grandma. You always say that. God gives us all
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second chances does He not? Take me to a new
school with new teachers and new learners and I
promise you I will behave myself.”
Life was stressful as is and now Gugu was just adding

fuel to the fire.
David: “I’ll make some calls and get back to you. For
now Zandi has to rest.”
Regina: “I agree. Take her home.”
David took his wife home while Gugu remained with

Regina. Regina knew that her granddaughter was
bullied a lot but for some reason she couldn’t help but
shake the feeling that Gugu was using the entire
situation to benefit her at all costs. David had to make
a lot more than just a few calls. When the
headmaster emailed him her transfer letter it did
more damage than good. She had to stay home for a
week until a school was finally found for her. On the
morning of her birthday it seemed that God was
indeed on her side because David got a call that the
private school his nieces and nephew go to would
accept Gugu. They didn’t really have a choice as he
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was one of the usual donors. He was already paying
school fees for his sister’s three children so it wasn’t
rocket science that he could afford Gugu’s fees.
Besides it all he got a discount for every additional
child enrolled there. Gugu was sleeping when Regina
decided to surprise her. She knocked twice before
entering.
Regina: “Happy birthday my Gugu! Wake up! Wake

up!”
Gugu: (sleepy) “Eish (oh) granny. What is it? It is

literally 6am in the morning.”
Regina: “I have some good news for you.”
Gugu: “What is it? You bought me the latest iPhone?”
Regina: “Well no. Your father has found you a school.”
Gugu: “Oh finally! It was getting really boring being

home with you all day.”
Regina: “Very funny.”
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Gugu: “Which school is it?”
Regina: “It is where your cousins attend.”
Gugu: (frowning) “I don’t have any cousins.”
Regina: “Bathong (goodness) it’s Rea’s school. You’ll

be best buddies from now on.”
That was enough to annoy her. She didn’t really relate

to them much but for the mere fact that Rea Nessa
and CJ were Deborah’s children gave her enough
reason to hate the school already.
Regina: “I thought you’d be excited.”
Gugu: “I don’t know what to say; you taught me to

always tell the truth no matter what.”
Regina: “Well you’d better get dressed. Your father is

going to take you on a tour today.”
Gugu: “But it is Friday granny.”
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Regina: “So? Time waits for no man. You have
already lost so much time. You need to catch up.”
She took a bath and got ready. They had to get her
uniform and had to show her around the school. She
met her new teachers and even saw Nessa there who
was going to be her classmate. She was the same age
as her while Rea and CJ were older. When she met
the headmaster of the school the rules were made
clear to her; no fighting no stealing no bunking
amongst all others. What stood out for her was the
policy against bullying they had.
Headmaster: “We have had so many bullying

incidents therefore we don’t take lightly to any form
of bullying; be it on the school premises or outside.
We especially don’t take lightly to our school’s name
being dragged through the mud on social media. Also
our learners are not allowed to be seen loitering
around suspicious areas in uniform. It creates a bad
image for us.”
It turned out they were a lot stricter than her old

school. She was just happy to find a school and was
quite hopeful about making new friends. She liked
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the sports facilities of the school and hoped to join
their hockey team. It looked like an even better
school with tight-knit rules but little were they all
away that Gugu was about to go from bad to worse.
Once they were done David took her out for
breakfast. It was just the two of them.
David: “So how does it feel to be baby girl?”
Gugu: (smiling) “I don’t really know. It is still yet to

sink in.”
David: “Well I am glad you have made it to this age.

Believe me I have always known you were going to be
so feisty. My prayer for you is to grow up to be a
beautiful smart and God-fearing woman. I wish you
nothing but God’s grace my child. Today I feel like
dedicating this gift to you.”
He handed her a small gift box. She was excited as

gifts excite everyone. She opened it and found a
beautifully custom made necklace with the cross of
Christ. Behind it was engraved Psalm 23.
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David: “I would like you to wear that wherever you
go. Whenever you feel weary or lost or even alone
you just think of Psalm 23. The Lord is your shepherd
my daughter. Wherever you go He shall lead you
there. I know you have been feeling a little out of
place lately but I want you to know that you can talk
to me whenever you want to – about anything you
wish. Okay?”
Gugu: (teary) “Okay.”
David: “Do you mind if I put it on you?”
Gugu: (shaking head) “No I don’t mind.”
David helped his daughter wear her brand new

necklace. She was really humbled by the gift. It
seemed as if David was getting through to her but
deeper evil was brewing in her mind. All it needed
was someone evil to tap into hers and activate it. So
much for peers.
As said in 2 Corinthians 11:14 – “And no wonder for

even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.”
Chapter 7
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1 Peter 5:8 – “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your
adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion
seeking someone to devour.”
With everything that was going on that week David

had completely forgotten about getting Gugu into
therapy. She was behaving rather well and so they all
assumed that she wouldn’t get into trouble ever
again. After her fruitful breakfast date with her father
he took her shopping and surprised her with a brand
new iPhone. That is every teenager’s dream. She was
excited and couldn’t stop thanking him. They went
out to shop for her uniform and school necessities
and she even got her hair done. After that she went
home and was surprised with a small family party. Of
course Zandile and Regina were there but they felt
that it was time for her to mix with people her age so
they invited Rea Nessa and CJ. CJ was in matric but he
could relate to them still while Rea was in Grade 11
and Rea and Gugu were in their first year of high
school.
Everyone: (shouting) “Surprise!”
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Gugu: (smiling) “Oh wow. I have never had a surprise
party in my entire life. I don’t know what to say.”
Regina: “Well thank you is what normal people say in

such instances.”
Gugu: (laughing) “Very funny Gogo (granny). Thank

you so much guys.”
Zandile: “Don’t just stand there come and make a

wish before these candles die out.”
She stood before her cake and made a wish. Of

course no one knew what she wished for. She blew
out the candles and Mam’Regina decided to pray.
Regina: “Let us pray. Father God we come before you

today to celebrate my lovely granddaughter’s
birthday. We firstly thank you for another year of life.
Not many can say that today. As she turns 14 today I
ask that you protect and guide her and grant her your
finest mercy and grace and may her light shine upon
her and others. May she light up a room every
chance she gets. As said in Ephesians 2:8; “For by
grace you have been saved through faith. And this is
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not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” I pray in
Jesus’ mighty name. Amen.”
It was a good start to the party. Prayer always sets

good motion to things. The adults had their own
party and so did the kids. They all dished up for
themselves buffet style while they had some soft
drinks and non-alcoholic champagne for the adults.
CJ: “What did you get as a gift for your birthday?”
Gugu: “Oh my dad bought me a new iPhone.”
Rea: (chuckling) “Your dad?”
CJ: “Rea now is not the time for your stupid

comments honestly.”
Rea: “Sorry I was just saying.”
Nessa: “Don’t pay any mind to her. She is the middle

child; middle children are bitter most of the time.”
Rea: (scoffing) “La ntlwaela lona (you two are

annoying me).”
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CJ: “You sound just like mom. Malome (uncle) David
does so much for us – way more than our own father
ever did for us. The least you could do is have the
decency to respect him and his family you know.
Anyway I am going for a walk. I will see you guys
later.”
Clearly Rea was just her mother’s clone.
Nessa: “On a lighter note I can’t wait for Monday. It

will be so nice to finally have someone who gets me in
my class hey.”
Nessa was a beautiful girl who wore glasses and was

quite nerdy. She and Gugu would most definitely not
get along since Gugu was on the path of self-
destruction. The party went on for a while until later
on that evening. All of them had gone inside the
house and even CJ was back from wherever he was.
Gugu received a text from Thoriso.
Thoriso: “Hey you busy?”
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Gugu: “Of course! It’s my birthday in case you have
forgotten.”
Thoriso: “Can you come out for a second?”
Gugu: “I hope you’re not right in front of my gate.”
Thoriso: “I don’t have a death wish. I’m at the nearby

tuckshop.”
Gugu: “Cool. Coming.”
She walked out quickly and rushed to see him. She

found him standing there without his car. He had
something small in his hands.
Gugu: (smiling) “Hey.”
Thoriso: “Hey. Can I hug you?”
It was a slightly peculiar request from Thoriso which

she didn’t expect but she also didn’t decline.
Gugu: (nodding) “Sure.”
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He hugged her in a way she had never been hugged
before. Gugu lacked a lot – socially. She didn’t have
any experience with having friends let alone
befriending someone of the opposite sex. It was a
dangerous relationship between a 14 year old girl and
an 18 year old boy. Although there was a 4 year
difference she was supposed to be focusing on school
and developing herself. Thoriso was very much
experienced and he was driving her into a world she
was not ready for. They broke the hug with Gugu
smiling ear to ear.
Thoriso: “I don’t want to keep you here for very long.

I asked you to come because I brought you
something.”
Gugu: (frowning) “What is it?”
Thoriso: “Open it.”
She opened the small gift bag and found a friendship

bracelet with both their initials on it.
Thoriso: “It’s a friendship bracelet. I mean our

friendship might be a bit weird for people to
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understand but I like you Gugu. You are one of a
kind.”
Gugu: “Thank you. I really like the gift. I mean it is my

very first gift from a friend let alone a boy so I have no
idea how I will hide this from my parents and my
grandma.”
Thoriso: “You’re a smart girl you’ll figure something

out.”
She greeted him goodbye and quickly rushed back.

She threw the gift bag in the nearest bin just before
she got home and hid the bracelet in her jean
pockets. That should have been the very first
indicator to her that their relationship was somewhat
inappropriate. She was nowhere near ready to
befriend someone like Thoriso. If it requires you to
keep it a secret – it most likely is wrong. Monday
officially came and it was Gugu’s first day at school.
David was a busy man yet he offered to take her to
school that morning. The three Mokoena’s already
had transport to school. Regina took a few pictures of
Gugu that morning before she went to school. Upon
arrival David begged her to behave. Gugu met up
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with Nessa the moment she walked out of the car. Of
course Rea had her own friends so she wasn’t too
bothered about Gugu.
Nessa: (smiling) “Hey. I am so glad you could make it.”
Gugu: “Yes me too.”
Nessa: “How is the uniform treating you? Most girls

hate the way it sits on the waist and collar.”
Gugu: “Ah well uniform is just that – uniform.”
Nessa: “Sure. Let’s go to class.”
Gugu: (frowning) “So early?”
Nessa : “Yes what else would you like to do before

class?”
Gugu: (shrugging) “I don’t know. Let’s go then.”
She was introduced to the entire classroom and the

first half of the morning went well. She enjoyed her
lessons and the class teachers weren’t half bad.
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When it was break time she had no idea but a lot of
girls were intrigued by her all thanks to Rea’s big
mouth. She thought that bad mouthing her own
cousin would win her some points and get them to
stay away from her but the more she opened her
mouth the more they were all drawn to her. They
rarely had any “bad girls” at the school with that kind
of dare devil spirit. The only girl so far who was
capable of being the baddest girl in school was Nancy
Medupe a matriculant with a mean streak. Everyone
wanted to be her; they all wanted to look like her. She
was always the best dressed whenever it came to
casual attire she had the best items when it came to
fundraisers and always had the best parties. If you
weren’t invited to hers you were not popular or
interesting enough. She was beautiful – on the
outside at least. She had everything everyone dreamt
of but little did they all know that she was the
loneliest girl at the school. When she saw Gugu
appear with Nessa she decided to introduce herself
properly. She left her little squad at their table and
went to approach Gugu.
Nancy: “Hey Nessa. I like your glasses.”
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Nessa: (surprised) “Oh I’ve had them for over a year
now.”
Nancy: “Hmm well they look good on you.”
Nesssa was not blown away. She didn’t buy the act at
all.
Nancy: “You are a bad girl Nessa. How come you

never told your cousin about me?”
Nessa: (frowning) “Should I have? I had no idea.”
Nancy: “Hmm well hi. I’m Nancy Medupe. You must

have heard about me.”
She extended her hand and Gugu shook it reluctantly.
Gugu: “Oh hi. Gugu Makeba. And no I haven’t heard

about you.”
Nancy found it really frustrating that Gugu wasn’t

even phased by The Nancy Medupe.
Nancy: “Hmm so where are you from Gugu?”
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Gugu: “Wattville.”
Nancy: “Oh as in the township? You don’t strike me

as a township girl.”
Gugu: “Hmm what do township girls look like?”
Nancy: (chuckling nervously) “What I mean is that – “
Gugu: (interjecting) “Look I get it. You are the “mean

girl” in the entire school and you heard about me and
my rep from my previous school. Now you came to
check if I really fit the standards or if I will dethrone
you. Relax I am not about to start any kind of trouble
here. Now if there is nothing else my cousin and I are
trying to have lunch in peace.”
Nancy’s blood was boiling but she tried very hard not
to show her annoyance.
Nancy: “Okay then. Enjoy your lunch.”
She walked away with her tail in between her legs.

There was something about Gugu that intrigued her.
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She didn’t take too kindly to others talking about
anyone other than her. She had somewhat
narcissistic qualities. A few days went by and Nancy
thought of the ultimate plan to get to know Gugu a
lot more. During break she decided to hand out
invitations to everyone.
Nancy: “Hey guys. I know how nitty you feel about

your lunch Gugu so I won’t interrupt you any further.
I just came by to give you two this.”
Gugu: “An invitation? Aren’t we a little too young to

attend your party? I mean you’re what? 18 years
old?”
Nancy: “Yes I am but I’d like you all to be there. Call it

the emancipation of Nancy.”
Gugu: “Okay then.”
Nancy: “So? You’ll be there right?”
She was clearly seeking validation from Gugu.
Gugu: “Sure.”
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Nancy: “Cool. The RSVP is on the invite. Ciao (bye).”
Nessa: “Are you considering going to the party?”
Gugu: “I don’t know. I mean she’s not exactly my cup

of tea.”
Nessa: “Me neither. I heard a lot of bad things

happen at her parties.”
Gugu: “Bad things like what?”
Nessa: “Well kids drink and smoke weed and even go

as far as having sex.”
Gugu: (frowning) “What do her parents say?”
Nessa: “Oh you don’t know do you?”
Gugu: “Know what?”
Nessa: “Her parents are never around. She is alone

most of the time with her chef and butler.”
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Gugu: “Hmm perks of being rich.”
Nessa: “It might seem that way but she is actually a

lot more broken than people think.”
They went about their day while everything was going

well. She was still staying with Regina but would go
visit her parents whenever she could. One particular
afternoon she went to visit her parents to find they
were not home. She decided to ask her neighbours
only to be told that her mother was rushed to
hospital. She panicked and called her grandmother
who wasn’t answering her phone. She decided to try
Thoriso.
Thoriso: “Hey.”
Gugu: (frantic) “Hey I don’t mean to bother you but

are you busy?”
Thoriso: “No what’s up?”
Gugu: “Is it possible for you to take me to the

hospital?”
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Thoriso: “Are you okay?”
Gugu: “Yes it’s my mom. She was admitted.”
Thoriso: “Okay I’m on my way.”
He didn’t take too long. After about less than 10

minutes he arrived. She got into the car and they
drove off.
Gugu: “Thank you so much for doing this. I bet you

were busy.”
Thoriso: “Nope not at all.”
Gugu: “Cool.”
She was so worried about her mother it was visible in

her face. She was even more worried because no one
called to inform her. When she arrived she was
directed to where her mother was admitted and
found David right next to her. Of course they were
surprised to see her there.
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David: “Gugu. How did you get here? How did you
know we were here?”
Gugu: “The neighbours told me. Why didn’t you guys

tell me?”
Zandile: “We didn’t want to worry you.”
Gugu: “What happened Mama? Are you alright?”
Zandile: “Yes I am fine. It’s just that I have high blood

pressure which can cause pre-eclampsia which can be
fatal for both the baby and I. They just want to keep
me here for a few days to monitor me that’s all.”
Gugu: (teary) “Oh I was very worried when they said

you were admitted. I thought… I thought you were
going to…”
David: “Hey honey. Don’t do that to yourself.

Everything is fine. We were going to call you once
everything was settled. There is absolutely no need
for you to worry okay?”
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She nodded in relief as her father hugged her. She
spent some time with her parents and was very
reluctant to leave.
David: “How did you get here? I can take you home.”
Gugu: “No it’s fine. I took a taxi. I will call Koko

(grandmother) to come fetch me if you’re really
worried.”
David: “Are you sure?”
Gugu: “Yes I don’t want you to worry about me when

you are supposed to be working.”
David: “Okay you call me the minute you get home

okay?”
Gugu: “Okay.”
She greeted her parents goodbye and found Thoriso

waiting for her outside his car. He was smoking a
cigarette.
Gugu: “Sorry for taking so long.”
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Thoriso: “No it’s okay. It’s not like I have anything
better to do with my time you know.”
Gugu: “Hmm yes. Okay then.”
He dropped her off back at her parents’ house. Only

then did Regina get back to her.
Regina: “Hey baby. I saw your missed call. Sorry I was

at church.”
Gugu: “Oh it’s okay. I just got back home. Mama is in

the hospital.”
Regina: “Yes I just got off the phone with her now. I
will pray for her and the baby. They will be alright.”
Gugu: “Okay.”
Regina: “Are you going to be alright there?”
Gugu: “Yes I will only be alone until Papa gets here.”
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Regina: “Okay. Call me if you need me to come get
you or if you need anything else.”
Gugu: “I will. Thank you.”
They hung up and she started cooking. For a change

she was doing something without being asked. She
was trying to help out and ease the burden on her
parents. For a second she had a vivid image of life
without her mother and it was not a pretty sight.
After cooking she had nothing else to do so she
decided to RSVP to Nancy’s party invitation. She had
no idea why she did that but I suppose she wanted to
test the waters. It was as if Nancy had been waiting
for her response. The moment she RSVP’d Nancy
immediately sent her a WhatsApp text.
Nancy: “Hey! It’s Nancy. Thanks for the RSVP.”
Gugu: “Cool.”
Nancy: “I was hoping if you could come over to my

house tomorrow after school? I’d like you to assist me
with prepping for my party.”
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Why didn’t she ask her friends?
Gugu: “Oh okay.”
Nancy: “Cool. See you tomorrow.”
The following day came and all went well. Nancy was
overly friendly with Nessa and Gugu making Rea
overtly envious. Her plan backfired badly.
Immediately after school Nancy called out to Gugu
and Nessa.
Nancy: “Hey! I thought you guys would ride with me.”
CJ was an obvious choice since they were friends but

he needed to go home first.
CJ: “I’ll see you later Nancy. I have stuff to do at home

first.”
Nancy: “Cool. What about you two?”
Nessa: “Oh I have to study for Monday’s test. Thanks

for the invite though.”
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Nancy: “Okay party pooper. What about you Gugs?”
Gugu: “Uh sure. Why not?”
Nessa: “See you Monday Gugu.”
Gugu: “Bye.”
Nancy had a driver and he fetched her in a gorgeous

Rolls Royce. The girl’s parents were most definitely
loaded. She got in and Nancy couldn’t hide her
excitement.
Nancy: “So ever been in a Rolls Royce before?”
Gugu: (shaking head) “No my parents are not that

well off but I lack nothing.”
Nancy: “That’s really nice. My parents have so much

money but I guess money can’t buy you time can it?”
Gugu frowned and Nancy immediately changed the

conversation.
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Nancy: “Anyway I’d like us to go shop for a few things
for the party before we go to my house. Is that okay
with you?”
Gugu: “Sure.”
The driver dropped them off at the mall and they

went to a decoration shop and got a few things that
matched the theme. Clearly Nancy wanted to form
some sort of bond with Gugu because she was not in
a rush to leave the mall.
Nancy: “Hey are you hungry? I could do with a meal.”
Gugu: “Okay. How about some Burger King?”
Nancy: “I was thinking something a lot better.”
They went to one of the fancy restaurants in the mall.

It was too fancy for learners.
Gugu: “You know when I was orientated the

headmaster told me that we are not allowed to be
seen in places in our uniform.”
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Nancy: “We are in a restaurant – not around a street
corner. Besides this is my parents’ restaurant and if
anyone tells her about this my parents will deal with
her. They are huge donors at the school you know.
And I heard your father is one too.”
Gugu: “Your parents own this restaurant?”
Nancy: “Yes and a few others. They are forever

closing business deals always telling me about
building a legacy for my brother and I.”
Gugu: “You have a brother?”
Nancy: “Yes he is a bit too old for you though.”
Gugu: “Oh I am not into boys – not yet anyway.”
Nancy: (surprised) “Are you telling me you have never

been with a boy before?”
Gugu shook her head.
Nancy: (shocked) “Are you a virgin?”
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Gugu: “Yes. Is there something wrong with that?”
Nancy: “No it is just rare to find a virgin nowadays. I

mean I lost my virginity when I was your age. You
must be from a very serious and holy family.”
Gugu: “Yeah my grandmother raised me well. She

would kill me if I ever slept with a boy. She always
says that boys are up to no good and they will give
you what you want from them.”
Nancy finally found Gugu’s first weakness. The broken

ones always make it a point to destroy the innocent.
They had the best food Gugu had ever had; the best
steak she’d ever seen with blueberry cheesecake as
dessert.
Gugu: “I have never had such great food before.”
Nancy: “Stick with me and you will experience the

best. Come on we have to go.”
They found the driver already waiting for them in the

parking lot.
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Gugu: “Does your driver always pick you up and drop
you off everywhere?”
Nancy: “Yep that’s the only way to keep me safe

according to my parents.”
Gugu: “I see.”
When they got to Nancy’s house Gugu couldn’t

believe it.
Gugu: “Wow are there people who live like this in

Benoni?”
Nancy: (laughing) “There are rich people everywhere

darling.”
The house was quite big; a double storey with a

modern design with rustic elements and a lot of
glass. The kitchen was to die for and the lounge was
just spectacular. It was hard for Gugu to stop drooling
over the house.
Nancy: (smiling) “You like what you see?”
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Gugu: “Such houses we only see on TV you know. It is
absolutely beautiful in here.”
Nancy: “Thanks. Our interior designer is top notch.”
While they put the décor things in the kitchen Nancy

took out a bottle of champagne.
Gugu: (frowning) “You drink?”
Nancy: “Yeah you don’t?”
Gugu: (shaking head) “No I mean I don’t really have

much experience with alcohol. My parents and
grandmother don’t drink and quite frankly they are
right for doing so. My very first experience with
alcohol is not too great.”
Nancy: (surprised) “Ah so you have experimented

before?”
Gugu: “Recently yes. But after that I sort of vowed to

myself that I’d never drink again.”
Nancy: “What did you drink? I’m curious.”
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Gugu: “Savanna.”
Nancy: (laughing) “That’s what happens when you

drink cheap stuff darling. Stick with me and I will
show you the ropes. I will make us some mimosas.
Don’t you worry I won’t overload your virgin system.”
They both chuckled. She was starting to relate to

Nancy for some reason. Her grandmother only
allowed her to go to the party because she thought
that there were going to be parents supervising
everything and for the potential aspect of making
friends. While they were decorating parts of the
house just outside the patio near the pool they were
drinking mimosas. It was quite bitter at first but went
down well after the second glass. While they were
chatting up a storm her infamous brother Karabo
walked in.
Karabo: “Hey Nancy have you seen my weed

crusher? I’ve been looking for it everywhere.”
Right there and then Gugu felt something within her.

She had never seen a boy look so good. Sure Thoriso
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was good looking and neat but Karabo was the ample
definition of what teenagers call a “Fuck boy”. Girls
obviously drooled over him with that gorgeous body.
Nancy: “Come on I never go into your room. Your

rules remember?”
Karabo: “Yeah sure. Who’s this gorgeous girl?”
Nancy: “Hands off my friends. My rule – remember?”
Karabo: “You don’t have friends this gorgeous Nancy.”
Nancy scoffed.
Karabo: “Hi I’m Karabo. You can call me KR or

whatever you like baby.”
Gugu: (blushing) “Hi. I’m Gugulethu but you can call

me Gugu.”
Karabo: “I think I am going to call you G.”
She blushed while Karabo walked away backwards

leaving Nancy stunned.
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Nancy: “Stay away from him.”
Gugu: “What?”
Nancy: “My brother. Stay away from him. That’s if

you still want to maintain your virginity hey. He will
most definitely get into your pants if you go for him.”
Gugu was not one to listen to anyone’s advice at all.

Her judgment was about to get even more clouded
for as long as she remained Nancy’s friend. The rich
are not so glamorous; one shouldn’t envy rich people.
As said in 1 Corinthians 15:33 – “Do not be deceived:

“Bad company ruins good morals.”
Chapter 8
James 1:5 – “If any of you lacks wisdom let him ask
God who gives generously to all without reproach and
it will be given him.”
By the time they were done with all the decorations

Gugu was tipsy.
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Gugu: “Eish (oh) I think I need to sit down a little bit. I
don’t feel too sober.”
Nancy: “Oh shame. You have such a low alcohol

tolerance. Let’s go to my room and get ready to
change. I’ll get you some water.”
Gugu fell in love with Nancy’s bedroom even more. It

had everything a girl could ever dream of. She indeed
got water to wash down the alcohol.
Gugu: “Oh I didn’t bring any clothes to change in. I

mean I came straight here after school remember?”
Nancy: “It’s okay. I can lend you one of my outfits. I

have plenty. I mean with those curves and that
gorgeous ass of yours will do no justice to my clothes
but it will do.”
She allowed Gugu to choose and when she struggled

to she chose for her; a short jumpsuit that
accentuated every part of her body. She obviously
had a plan up her sleeve. When they both changed
into the clothes she offered to do her make up.
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Gugu: “I have never put on make up before in my life.”
Nancy: “There is a first time for everything love. Go

big or go home right?”
Gugu: “I guess so. But just don’t put on too much

please.”
Nancy: “You know for someone who is quite a fighter

you sure are innocent.”
Gugu: “I don’t do things that will upset my parents.

They already do so much for me. I mean I am still too
young to explore with adult things.”
Nancy: “Sure.”
Once she was done doing her make up Gugu looked

like a completely different person. She was even
shocked when she herself stared at her own image in
the mirror.
Gugu: (stunned) “Is this really me? I mean are you

sure?”
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Nancy: (giggling) “Yes girl it is totally you.”
Gugu: “Isn’t it a bit too much though? I mean I can

barely recognize myself.”
Nancy: “That’s the whole idea love. You’re so lucky

your hair looks that good. I mean I wear lace wigs
most of the time.”
Gugu was still a bit uncomfortable with the way she

looked but despite her own feelings she went with
the flow. Guests started arriving including those
Nancy would never even invite before Gugu appeared
in the picture. The floor was full of food and all sorts
of alcohol. The pool area was decorated according to
the theme.
Nancy: “Care for some champagne?”
Gugu: “No thanks. I am still a bit full from earlier on.”
Nancy: “You can wash it down with water every hour.

Don’t be a party pooper babe.”
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She succumbed to peer pressure and accepted the
drink. Just after a while CJ appeared with some of his
friends. Gugu was a bit nervous that he would tell on
her.
CJ: “Hey Nancy. Nice set up.”
Nancy: “Thanks CJ.”
Gugu: (nervously) “Uh CJ I don’t normally drink. It is

just – “
CJ: (interjecting) “What you do is your business Gugu.

Relax I won’t tell on you. That’s Rea’s style.”
Nancy: “Thank goodness she isn’t here. Your sister is

such a yawner. Everytime she speaks she just puts me
to sleep.”
CJ: “I didn’t come here for you to talk about my sister

did I?”
Clearly CJ took no nonsense. Sure he enjoyed having

their type of fun but he was not interested in
partaking in gossip and trash talking anyone.
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Nancy: “Oh relax would you? It was just a joke.”
CJ: “Joke about someone else – not my family.”
With that said he walked away and went to sit with

Karabo and a few others.
Nancy: “Your cousin is so uptight you know.”
Gugu: “Not really he just keeps to himself.”
Nancy: “Well it’s most probably due to the fact that

he is a product of a married man. I mean that must
be tough.”
Oh Nancy enjoyed gossiping about everyone – no

matter who it was.
Gugu: (annoyed) “That’s not very nice of you Nancy.”
Nancy: “What? I was just stating the truth.”
Gugu: “Friends don’t do that to one another. I mean

if you’re that kind of person then perhaps I should
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leave. It just isn’t my style to speak of people’s
problems and family like that.”
Nancy: “Okay okay. I’m sorry. I have a loose tongue

sometimes. I mean I am a neglected teenager who’s
had to care for herself most of her life. Surely you get
where I’m coming from?”
Manipulation at its best.
Gugu: “Sure.”
Nancy: “I have something that will help you let loose.”
Gugu: “What’s that?”
Nancy: “Hey KR! How about some kush?”
Karabo: “Gugu I don’t give weed to kids. Do you want

me to get arrested?”
Nancy: “Don’t be smart and try to impress Gugs just

give me what I want please.”
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Karabo: “Just so you know I won’t be held responsible
for anything that happens.”
Nancy: “Yeah yeah.”
Karabo handed his sister a roll of weed and she lit it

and started smoking.
Gugu: “What is so nice about that? It doesn’t even

smell nice.”
Nancy: “Take a smoke and you’ll see for yourself.”
Gugu was hesitant at first but once again she

succumbed to peer pressure. She had no idea how to
smoke and Nancy coached her during the process.
She took a few blows and it didn’t take very long for
her body to respond. Nancy was enjoying corrupting
Gugu. She found it fun for her. Slowly but surely
Gugu let go of her inhibitions. After a short while they
were venting over their family problems.
Nancy: “You know Karabo went through the same

thing. We were practically raised by nannies.”
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Gugu: “That must be rough. How often do you see
your parents?”
Nancy: “Once in every three months if we’re lucky.”
Gugu: “Wow. That must be rough. I’m sorry.”
Nancy: “It’s okay. I am alive aren’t I? Anyway what

about you? What’s your deep dark secret that’s got
you beating people up?”
Gugu: “I told you I beat those bitches up because I

was being bullied. Most people know that when my
dad and my mother got married I was only 10 years
old. He was a father to me even before they got
married and I never saw him as anything else. Then
you have his family members telling me all kinds of
shit.”
Nancy: “What kind of shit?”
Gugu: “My mom is pregnant and my aunt said that

my dad will never love the same after it’s born.”
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Nancy: (shocked) “She said that? That’s one evil
bitch. Well my brother and I once found our dad on
top of the maid one day and we got rid of her.”
Nancy: “Oh we killed her.”
She said that so casually alarming Gugu.
Gugu: (shocked) “What do you mean you killed her?

You mean literally?”
Nancy: “Yeah sort of. We poisoned her coffee and she

died in her sleep. That time no one was home that
day – we both made sure. Ever since then my dad
never cheated on our mom.”
Gugu: (shocked) “Doesn’t that bother you? I mean

you killed a person.”
Nancy: “No why would it? She was going to make our
life a living hell. Do you think my dad would have still
taken care of us had he continued fucking her? What
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if she fell pregnant? Don’t even get me started on
that. We couldn’t have that.”
Gugu: “Aren’t you afraid of God? Of your

punishment?”
Nancy: “Honey I don’t believe in God. There is no

such. The Bible is just a book created to keep us all in
check and God is just a figment created by white
people to get black people in line.”
Gugu: “But it is not just black people who believe in

God. Whites believe in Him too.”
Nancy: “Yeah well. I don’t believe in Him. All those

who believe in Him are broke. I don’t want that for
my life.”
Gugu was beyond shocked that she couldn’t help but

stare at Nancy in complete disbelief.
Nancy: “Oh I didn’t mean to scare you like that. I

mean you’re not judging me are you?”
Gugu: (nervously) “Oh of course not.”
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Nancy: “Hmm Matthew 7 says everything about
judging people doesn’t it? “Judge not so that you will
not be judged.”
Gugu: (surprised) “You read the Bible?”
Nancy: “Only at school. We go to a Catholic school

remember?”
Gugu: “Right. Well look at the time. My parents will

kill me if I don’t sleep at home. I have to go.”
Nancy: “Well my driver can drop you off.”
Gugu: “Rather not. My dad will think that I am dating

a blesser or something.”
Nancy: “Okay. Tell him to come fetch you then.”
Gugu: “Okay cool.”
While she was waiting for her father to come fetch

her she heard a familiar voice behind her.
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Thoriso: (surprised) “Gugu?”
Gugu: “Thoriso?”
Thoriso: “What are you doing here?”
Gugu: “I was invited.”
Thoriso: “So was I.”
Nancy: “Forgive me for being so blunt but do you two

know each other?”
Thoriso: “Yes we’re friends.”
Nancy: (frowning) “Friends huh? I thought you had

no friends Gugus let alone boy friends.”
Gugu: “It’s complicated.”
Thoriso: (chuckling) “Yeah no doubt. Wena (you)

Nancy befriending someone like Gugu? That is so
unlike you.”
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Thoriso: “I mean everyone who becomes friends with
Nancy it just… It doesn’t end well.”
Nancy: “Why don’t you go chill with your friends while

I chill with mine Thoriso.”
Thoriso: “Okay then. Are you good to go? Who’s

fetching you?”
Gugu: “Oh my dad. I just texted him to come fetch

me.”
Thoriso: “Cool let me know if he doesn’t arrive.”
Gugu: “Sure. Thanks.”
Thoriso walked away but one could tell he was very

concerned about the sudden budding friendship
between the two girls. It was as if he knew Nancy far
too well. Gugu waited for a while until her father
texted her within half and hour that he was outside
the house. At that point she was glad to leave since
Nancy told her something very disturbing. She was
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most probably never going to look at the girl the same
way ever again.
Gugu: “My dad is outside.”
Nancy: “Cool let me walk you out.”
As they were about to leave the pool area Thoriso

quickly stopped her.
Thoriso: “Are you leaving already?”
Gugu: “Yes my dad’s here.”
Thoriso: “Okay let me know once you get home

okay?”
Gugu: “Cool.”
He intentionally hugged her and when Karabo saw

that they already had an established relationship he
couldn’t stand it. He just had to do something about
it.
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Gugu: “I can’t go out wearing this and he can’t see
you wearing that. He won’t like it.”
Nancy: “Sure. We can go back to my room and

quickly change.”
Gugu rushed to Nancy’s bedroom and removed the

make up and changed into a more suitable dress. She
put her uniform in her school bag.
Nancy: “Here you can keep the outfit.”
Gugu: “Oh are you sure?”
Nancy: (nodding) “Yes. It is really not that deep girl.

Besides it looks really good on you.”
Gugu: “Thanks.”
They walked out with Nancy wearing a robe over her

outfit. She too had to quickly remove the make up.
Gugu: “Hey dad.”
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David: “Hey what took you so long? I was about to go
in.”
Gugu: “Sorry I had to go fetch my stuff. It is a really

big house.”
David: “Okay. Who’s this?”
Nancy: “Oh hi I’m Nancy. I am Gugu’s new friend.”
David was surprised that Nancy was the one

introducing herself to him. Above all she looked a bit
old to be friends with a 14 year old. He shook her
hand regardless but he didn’t get good vibes from her.
David: “Oh hello. I am David Gugu’s dad.”
Nancy: “Pleased to meet you sir. I have heard a lot

about you.”
David: “I am certain you have. Well we have to go. It

is a bit of a drive back home.”
Nancy: “Of course sir. Have a safe drive. Do call me as

soon as you get home Gugs. Bye.”
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Gugu: “Bye.”
She got into the car and David drove off.
David: “Hmm that friend of yours in which grade is

she?”
Gugu: “Oh she’s in matric.”
David: “Matric you say.”
Gugu: “Yes she is also a friend of CJ’s.”
David: “Hmm how did you two become friends?”
Gugu: “We met at school Papa. Is there a problem?”
David: “No honey no problem. It’s just that… I think

she is a bit too old to be your friend don’t you think?”
Gugu: “Is there an age limit when it comes to

friendship?”
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David: “No my baby. I’m just saying be careful. That’s
all.”
They drove home safely while Zandile was still in the

hospital. She felt as if the house was rather cold
without her mother. She was starting to have all sorts
of confusing feelings. She texted Thoriso and Nancy
once she got home. After she took a shower Thoriso
had left her a few missed calls. She decided to call
him back.
Thoriso: “Oh hey. Hang up and let me call you.”
Gugu: “Cool.”
After a few seconds he called back indeed.
Thoriso: “Hey. I see you got my missed calls.”
Gugu: “Yeah sorry I was in the shower. What’s up?”
Thoriso: “I was just checking on you.”
Gugu: “Are you still at the party?”
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Thoriso: “Yeah it is not like I have anything better to
do with my time now is it?”
That became his famous saying.
Gugu: “Well perhaps you need to change that. Get a

job and show your parents that you want to do
something.”
Thoriso: “Yeah I will think about it. So you and Nancy

are you really friends?”
Gugu: (chuckling) “Why does it seem like it is

bothering you?”
Thoriso: “I am just saying; you don’t know Nancy the

way I do okay. She is just not someone who can be
friends with someone like you.”
Gugu: “What do you mean? What is so wrong about

me?”
Thoriso: “Nothing is wrong with you. Look if I were

you I’d be playing very far from her. Her brother too.”
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Gugu: “Okay if you say so.”
Thoriso: “Alright then. We’ll talk tomorrow. Bye.”
She hung up and Nancy couldn’t wait to speak to her

new bestie. With all the apprehensiveness of two
people close to her she still wasn’t ready to let go of
Nancy yet her confession struck her deep. She chose
to ignore Nancy for the rest of the evening and take a
nap and attend to her the following morning. At least
she had a pleasant night’s sleep despite all the alcohol
and weed but her head was complaining a little bit.
She had barely gotten out of bed when Nancy texted
her.
Nancy: “Hey are you good?”
Gugu: “Hi sure. What’s up?”
Nancy: “How about breakfast? My treat.”
By then Gugu’s father had already gone to work and

left her a note. She was all alone and Zandile was still
in hospital. She accepted the invitation and Nancy
arrived outside her gate within half an hour. She was
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dressed to impress as usual while Gugu was wearing a
simple jean and Tshirt with sneakers.
Nancy: “Oh babe. Why do you look so plain?”
Gugu: “It is Saturday Nancy. Are we going to a party

or something?”
Nancy: “No but it wouldn’t kill you to always look your

best you know. You never know who you might bump
into.”
Gugu: “Sure.”
Nancy: “You keep holding your head. What’s wrong?”
Gugu: “I have a slight headache.”
Nancy: “You’ll get used to it. I bet you had a great

night’s sleep right? It’s the weed. It does magic.”
Gugu: “It must have been. I actually had the best

night’s sleep last night.”
Page 164 of 1871

They went to yet another one of her father’s
restaurants and ordered a big fatty breakfast. It
seemed as if Nancy wanted to test the waters after
what she told Gugu.
Nancy: “So did you enjoy yourself last night?”
Gugu: “Yes actually I did. It was the best fun I had in a

very long time.”
Nancy: “Cool. I still can’t believe you and Thoriso

know each other. Small world.”
Gugu: “Yeah how do you know him?”
Nancy: “Oh he is one of KR’s low life friends.”
Gugu: (frowning) “Low life?”
Nancy: “Sorry. I told you; my mouth can be a bit

runny sometimes.”
Gugu just nodded.
Page 165 of 1871

Nancy: “I actually wanted to see if you and I were
cool. I mean after what I told you last night.”
Gugu: “If you’re worried about me telling people

relax. I won’t tell.”
Nancy: “Oh no. That’s not my worry at all. I mean it

felt like you were really shocked about what I said.”
Gugu: “To be honest it is not every day you are told

that your friend and her brother killed the maid you
know.”
Nancy: (laughing) “Yeah I mean it happens right?”
Gugu: “I suppose.”
Nancy: “Which is why I hardly got any sleep last

night.”
Gugu: “Why not? Long night?”
Nancy: “Something like that. I was thinking about

your situation.”
Page 166 of 1871

Gugu: “My situation?”
Nancy: “Yes. I mean your mom has been in hospital

for quite some time now and who knows how long
she will even be there. She no longer has time for you
and your dad spends extra time at the hospital
because he is always with her. What do you think will
happen to you once the baby gets here? You will
officially be sent to go and live with your grandma for
life and then what? They’ll get to play happy family
without you. I have seen it before you know. You
won’t matter. Which is why I have a solution for you.”
Gugu: “What solution?”
She took out a bottle of pills and placed them on the

table.
Nancy: “These pills are called misoprostol. They are

initially treated for the controlling of bleeding when
one has ulcers but they can also induce labor and if
taken correctly – an abortion.”
Gugu was shocked at what Nancy was telling her.
Page 167 of 1871

Gugu: (shocked) “What are you saying Nancy?”
Nancy: “I am saying that these pills would take all your

problems away. You just have to do what I tell you to.
You will no longer have to stress about a new sibling
who will take away all your joy. You will be a happy
person once again.”
As said in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 – “Do not be

unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what
partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or
what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord
has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer
share with an unbeliever?”
Chapter 9
James 4:17 – “So whoever knows the right thing to do
and fails to do it for him it is sin.”
Gugu was beyond shocked at what Nancy was telling

her but what was even more deplorable was the fact
that Gugu was slightly considering it. She now had
formed a friendship with a rich murderer. She sat
there for a while staring at that container filled with
those pills. Nancy was enjoying seeing Gugu so quiet
Page 168 of 1871

because it meant that she was considering it to say
the least.
Nancy: “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to drop such a

bomb on you. I mean I was only suggesting and it is
quite selfish of me. What does the Bible say about
murder again? Exodus 20:13; “You shall not murder.”
Gugu nodded.
Nancy: “Tell you what; how about we go have some

fun at my house and we can forget all about this
okay?”
She visibly took the pills from the table and put them
back in her bag. That was the perfect reverse
psychology strategy. Gugu was left uneasy from that
moment onwards. They went back to Nancy’s house
and instead of studying for the upcoming test cycle
they chose to have some champagne with fancy
finger food accompanied by weed.
Nancy: “So tell me you have never considered having

sex – ever?”
Page 169 of 1871

Gugu: (shaking head) “No I am not exposed to such.”
Nancy: “I walked in on my parents having sex once.”
Gugu: “Really? Wasn’t it awkward?”
Nancy: “Well they didn’t exactly see me. The TV was

so loud and I couldn’t sleep that night. I opened their
door but they didn’t hear me.”
Gugu: (shocked) “And then what happened?”
Nancy: “I stood there and watched them have sex

until my father came.”
Gugu: “Why?”
Nancy: “I don’t know why but trust me it was some

experience. That was the very first time I learnt how
to masturbate.”
Gugu: (flabbergasted) “You mean you masturbated

while staring at your parents doing it?”
Page 170 of 1871

Nancy: (nodding) “Yep. Ever since then I started
watching porn. I just couldn’t stop you know. When I
finally felt like I had mastered sex – I had my very first
sexual encounter with one of KR’s friends.”
Gugu: “Oh I see.”
Nancy: “You mean to tell me you never even think

about it? You don’t wonder what it’s like?”
Gugu: (shaking head) “No.”
Nancy: (chuckling) “You are one innocent girl you

know. Don’t let boys know that you’re a virgin. They
will come flocking after you. Boys have some kind of
obsession with virgins hey.”
Little did Gugu know that they already knew all that.
Karabo knew she was a virgin because Nancy couldn’t
keep her mouth shut. While they were smoking
weed Karabo decided to make his grand entrance into
Nancy’s room. His cologne was enough to send any
girl into hypnosis mode.
Karabo: “Hey Nancy haven’t you seen my crusher?”
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Nancy: (scoffing) “Honestly KR. You keep asking me
about that thing. I don’t know how to crush weed. I
am starting to think you are using it as an excuse to
see my friend Gugs here.”
Karabo: (chuckling) “Would it be such a crime? I

mean one can’t stay away from all that beauty.”
He smiled and licked his lips seductively. That look did

something to her she felt her body react in a way it
had never done before.
Nancy: “Let me go get us a refill of these snacks and

some ice cream. I am dying for nice things today. I’ll
be right back.”
Call it a coincidence but Nancy knew exactly what she

was doing. While she walked out Karabo sat next to
the tense Gugu.
Karabo: “So Gugu. I have never really seen you

before. Are you new in Benoni?”
Page 172 of 1871

Guug: “No I’ve lived in Wattville for as long as I can
remember.”
Karabo: “Hmm Wattville. You don’t strike me as a

Wattville girl.”
Gugu: “Funny enough that’s exactly what Nancy said

to me the first time she met me. I am starting to
wonder what a “Wattville girl” looks like.”
Karabo: “Well they don’t look like you. Thoriso wasn’t

kidding when he said he knows you.”
Gugu: “Yes we know each other.”
Karabo: “I’m curious. I mean Thoriso doesn’t know

any hot girls like you. Are you dating?”
Gugu: (laughing nervously) “Oh no. We’re just

friends.”
Karabo: “Huh I see. Well more opportunities for some

us right?”
Page 173 of 1871

He gently brushed her chin and walked out of Nancy’s
bedroom. That brush was enough to sway Gugu
towards a direction of considering dating. Nancy
came back and smiled just by staring at Gugu.
Nancy: “Hmm did you two have a nice conversation?”
Gugu: “Not really. He was just asking me a few

questions.”
Nancy: “Oh cool.”
Just then her grandmother called her.
Gugu: “Sorry I have to take this. It’s my grandmother.

I’ll be right back.”
Nancy: “Sure.”
Gugu went out to speak to her grandmother leaving

Nancy in the bedroom alone for a few minutes. She
came back and told her she had to go home.
Gugu: “Sorry I have to go. My grandmother wants me

to come home.”
Page 174 of 1871

Nancy: “Sure my driver and I will take you home.”
Gugu: “Thanks.”
They took her home and she insisted that she be

dropped off at the bus stop but Nancy insisted that
she be dropped off right at the gate.
Nancy: “It’s alright. I mean she will see that this is not
your blesser’s car.”
When the driver stopped at the gate Nancy got out of

the car to introduce herself to Regina making Gugu
extremely uncomfortable.
Nancy: (smiling) “Dumela Koko (Greetings granny).

My name is Nancy Mokoena I am Gugu’s friend.”
She extended her hand for a handshake and although

Regina shook it she could already sense that she was
no good for her granddaughter. She barely had a
smile on her face.
Page 175 of 1871

Regina: “Hmm nice to meet you Nancy. Whose car is
that?”
Nancy: “Oh it is my parents’ car. That is our driver.”
Regina: “I see.”
She continued to read her book clearly showing

Nancy her disinterest.
Nancy: “Well then I’d better leave. It was nice to meet

you once again Koko (granny).”
Regina just nodded her head. Nancy went back to the

car after saying goodbye to Gugu and drove off.
Regina: “Since when do you have such old friends?”
Gugu: (nervously) “Oh uh she is from my school.”
Regina: “You didn’t answer my question.”
Gugu: “She is only in matric Koko (granny).”
Regina: “Hmm well I don’t like her. She is bad news.”
Page 176 of 1871

Gugu: “I see.”
Regina: “Stay away from her.”
Gugu just nodded and went into the house. She was
about to take out her phone from her back pack
when she noticed the very same pill container that
Nancy showed her earlier on at the restaurant. She
panicked and felt herself shiver as she was holding the
container. She texted her a picture of it immediately
only to receive a very casual response.
Nancy: “Oh that must have probably fallen into your

bag. You can just throw them away or flush them
down the toilet. It’s not that much of a big deal is it?”
Gugu: “Sure no problem at all.”
Regina called Gugu to come and assist her with

cooking and she shoved the pills back into her bag.
She spent the rest of her day with her grandmother
though she noticed something different with Gugu.
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Regina: (sniffing) “You smell a bit funny. What were
you up to today with that girl?”
Gugu: “Nothing. We were just chilling at her house.”
Regina: “Were you drinking?”
Gugu: “No of course not Koko (granny).”
Regina: “Did you smoke anything? I know the smell of

weed when I come across it.”
Gugu: (defensive) “Bathong (Goodness) Koko

(granny)! Why would I lie to you in your face again
knowing the consequences?! Must I always be
treated like a criminal whenever I am around you?!”
She got angry at her grandmother and stormed out of

the house. Sadly Regina already knew that Gugu was
up to no good. She let her be. Two weeks went by
and her mother was still not home. She was still
hospitalized while David suggested that she stay with
Regina for a while. She hardly saw her parents; she
was in school 8 to 9 hours a day while her father
worked hospital hours. By the time she was done
Page 178 of 1871

with homework and chores it was already dinner time
so visiting hours were not an option for her. Every
time she conversed with her mother she felt like she
was just talking about the baby and how exhausted
she was. She confided in Nancy most of the time and
all she ever told her was that her parents were
behaving selfishly because of the new baby that was
on the way. With each day that went by she began
being filled with evil thoughts. The Devil was slowly
making his way into her heart despite her praying
every night. She still hadn’t gotten rid of those pills as
yet. One particular day on a Saturday she decided it
was time to go visit her beloved mother. She bought
her a KFC Oreo Krusher which she loved during
pregnancy. She was excited to see her mother again
after so long but she had already made up her mind
before doing what she had intended on doing. Just
before entering her mother’s ward she said a short
prayer to herself.
Gugu: (praying) “God forgive me for what I am about

to do. You are a God of forgiveness and I trust in you.
I have to do this I don’t have a choice. Surely you
understand. Amen.”
Page 179 of 1871

She walked in and her mother was so excited to see
her blinded by oblivion. They had a great chat and
appreciated the small gift. She finished the entire
drink and had a long chat with Gugu. She was
pleased that her daughter was making new friends
and continuously apologized for not being there for
her throughout her duration in the hospital. She went
home and carried about her day while her conscious
was weighing heavily on her. She kept looking at her
phone hoping that a phone call would come through
bearing the worst news but nothing came out of it.
She waited until she dozed off. Around 4am the next
morning she heard Regina crying hysterically.
Regina: (crying) “Oh God oh God! Modimo go

baneng (Why God)?! Haven’t you done enough to
punish my child?! Why?!”
Gugu rushed out of bed to hear if it had been the

news she was expecting.
Gugu: “What is it Koko (granny)?”
Regina: (crying) “Your mother had a miscarriage. The

baby is dead.”
Page 180 of 1871

Gugu felt some sort of relief in her heart. There was
no sadness no guilt.
Regina: (crying) “What’s even worse is that they had

to remove her uterus. It has been damaged. She will
never be able to have children again.”
Gugu rushed to her bedroom as Regina assumed that

she was traumatized by the news but she was elated.
She knelt down and prayed immediately.
Gugu: “Thank you Lord for heeding my request.

Forgive me Lord. You are a God who forgives and if
you could forgive all those who have wronged you in
the Bible you can forgive me too. Amen.”
She was bargaining with the Lord. It is one thing to sin

without knowing God’s power but to sin while
knowing what He can do to you and then justify it
with prayer was something else.
As said in Matthew 4:7 – “Jesus said to him “Again it is

written ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the
test.’”
Page 181 of 1871

Chapter 10
Galatians 6: 7-8 – “Do not be deceived: God is not
mocked for whatever one sows that will he also reap.
For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the
flesh reap corruption but the one who sows to the
Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”
While Gugu went back to sleep peacefully the rest of

the family were in woes. She thought that her
problems were over but they had just began. She had
no idea but Regina left her in the house and went
straight to the hospital without alerting her or asking
her to go with. While she was gone Gugu was acting
out of the ordinary for someone whose mother had
just lost a baby. She remained unbothered and since
it was Sunday she even took it upon herself to go to
church. She couldn’t stop smiling ear to ear. Funny
enough the pastor was preaching about mocking God
that morning.
Pastor: “Good morning my people. Today is a rather

disheartening day. One of our members informed me
this morning that her daughter just lost her unborn
baby. I urge you to be kind to one another for it is a
rather difficult time for them. We all know
Page 182 of 1871

Mam’Regina and the Mokoena’s. On that note it
pondered my mind that no matter how good of a
person you can be bad things can still happen to you.
Psalm 1:1 says; “Blessed is the man who walks not in
the counsel of the wicked nor stands in the way of
sinners nor sits in the seat of scoffers.” Just the other
day I was talking to you about protecting your
children from all evil. Evil is everywhere and it can
even claim the lives of unborn children straight from
the mother’s womb. I have no doubt that this is the
work of the devil but fear not my people for God is
not mocked. Therefore I urge you to pray even when
you feel weak.”
Somehow Gugu felt as if the pastor was looking at her

with a very judgmental eye. It felt as if everyone
around her knew what she had done. It must have
been her conscience talking to her but it felt real. It
didn’t click once in her mind that people would be
asking themselves why was at church looking rather
cheerful while the rest of the family was grieving. The
more she turned her head and looked around – the
more she started feeling as if all eyes were indeed on
her. As the pastor went on further to preach she got
up slowly and made her way out of the church. Her
Page 183 of 1871

conscience was slowly getting to her. She decided to
take a taxi straight to the hospital. Upon arrival she
was told where to go but met with Mam’Regina just
outside her mother’s private ward.
Regina: “Gugu what are you doing here?”
Gugu: “Oh I came to see if Mama is okay.”
She was about to walk in when Regina stood right in

front of her and blocked her way. She knew right
there and then that she knew what she had done.
Regina: “Not now she is still resting.”
Gugu: “But you just saw her. Why can’t I?”
Regina: “Why don’t you go back home? You can see

her tomorrow. I will bring you with.”
Gugu: “Oh okay. I will wait for you then. I can go get
something to eat and get Mama something too while
I wait.”
Regina: “Rather not. Just go home.”
Page 184 of 1871

Regina went back into the ward and closed the door
behind her leaving Gugu right outside in the corridor.
She got a brief glimpse of the hospital bed and David’s
legs but didn’t get to see her mother. Her heart was
beating so fast beyond control that it felt as if she was
about to collapse. She felt her airway closing in on
her and drips of warm sweat on her forehead. She
rushed outside the hospital and caught some fresh
air. Her entire body was trembling out of fear but she
thought that she was dying. She immediately dialed
her partner in crime Nancy.
Nancy: (cheerfully) “Oh hey. How’s it going?”
Gugu: (shakily) “Nancy my mom is in the hospital.”
Nancy: “Oh yeah I heard about that.”
She was chuckling in between her words which

disgusted Gugu.
Nancy: “I can’t believe you actually killed your own

sibling. Wow girl. You’ve got balls.”
Page 185 of 1871

Gugu: “I wouldn’t have done it had it not been you
who planted the idea in my head.”
Nancy: “What are you trying to say Gugu? Are you

trying to blame me for your actions and choices?”
Gugu: “Why did you plant those pills in my bag?”
Nancy: “Why didn’t you throw them away? See?

That’s the problem with people. I gave you a solution
but I never forced you to take it. Now you can’t stand
the heat and you want to blame me for it? No honey
it doesn’t work like that.”
Gugu: “I wish I never met you.”
Nancy: “Oh please. Your life has more meaning now

that you’ve got me. Come over and have a drink. It
will really calm you down.”
Gugu hung up on her with tears flowing down her

face. She was only starting to realize then that she
had committed murder. It was not only a sin before
God but a punishable crime in the eyes of the law.
Page 186 of 1871

She thought of who to call and only one person’s
name came to mind.
Thoriso: “Hey.”
Gugu: “Are you busy?”
Thoriso: “No I’m at the car wash about to wash my

car.”
Gugu: “Can you come fetch me?”
Thoriso: “Gugu I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Gugu: (pleading) “Please.”
He could hear the desperation in her pleading voice.
Thoriso: “Okay where are you?”
Gugu: “At the hospital. Right in the parking lot.”
Thoriso: “Okay give me 15 minutes.”
Page 187 of 1871

Gugu: “You’ll find me right across at the McDonald’s
nearby.”
Thoriso: “Cool.”
They ended the call while she proceeded to

McDonalds. She tried to eat what she had ordered
but even the smallest bite couldn’t go down her upset
stomach. That was however nothing compared to
what her mother was feeling at that point. Once
Thoriso arrived she hesitated no further and left the
food where she was seated.
Thoriso: “Why are you leaving food like that on the

table?”
Gugu: “Let’s just go.”
He could tell whatever was bothering her was quite

deep so he decided not to ask anything further. As
they drove a bit further along she spotted a bottle
store at a nearby complex.
Gugu: “Tsena mo (Go in here). I want to check

something.”
Page 188 of 1871

He found a parking spot where he could see an empty
one and waited for her response. She took out R200
from her bag and handed it to him.
Gugu: “Go get us some alcohol and snacks.”
Thoriso: (frowning) “Gugu I can’t be seen drinking

with a minor.”
Gugu: “Who said anything about being seen? We’ll

go to your friend’s place.”
Thoriso: “No do you want people spot us and tell your

grandmother? I’ll most definitely go to prison this
time around.”
Gugu: “If you don’t do it for me I’ll get someone else

who will. And you know what they say; this country is
as dangerous as it gets. Who knows? Maybe I will fall
prey to the hands of a kidnapper or a rapist for that
matter. You can wake up to news headlines about my
dismembered body.”
She was not even joking at all. She was dead serious.
Page 189 of 1871

Thoriso: “Wa lapisa (you can be so tiring) Gugu you
know that?”
Gugu: “I know. Get us some cigarettes while you’re at

it.”
He just did as told and bought alcohol he thought she

might like – something sweet and sugary. Once he
was done he got into the car. She took one of the
ciders and opened one can without hesitation and
gulped it down her throat in minutes.
Thoriso: “You should wait until we can find a place to

chill so that you can talk about whatever is bothering
you.”
Gugu: “Since well you don’t want us going to your

friend’s place find us a guest house somewhere no
one knows you.”
Thoriso: “Gugu should I repeat myself? If people see

me with a minor – I’m dead.”
Page 190 of 1871

Gugu: “You can check in on your own. I will disguise
myself.”
She took no for an answer and he drove around for

about half an hour while she was drinking carelessly in
the car. He was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable at
the level she was drinking. He was actually trying to
stall them from finding a guest house.
Gugu: “Are you even looking?”
Thoriso: “I’ll just park here and we can talk.”
He parked at a nearby park. It was not so busy and

quite peaceful. There was a pond with a few birds
around.
Gugu opened her third cider by the time Thoriso

parked his car under a tree near the pond. He slowly
opened his first one while staring at her with great
caution and intrigue.
Thoriso: (sigh) “Do you want to tell me what’s on your

mind?”
Page 191 of 1871

Gugu: (shaking head) “No do you have some weed in
the car?”
Thoriso: “No I have nothing on me right now.”
Gugu: “Okay. We can smoke later when you figure

out where you and I can go.”
Thoriso: “Okay. I suppose you will tell me what’s

bothering you when you are ready.”
Gugu: “I suppose you heard about my mom.”
Thoriso: “Yes we all heard about it. I am sorry about

that.”
Gugu: “What’s the most horrible thing you have ever

done in your life?”
Thoriso: “Uh I don’t know really. I stole my dad’s car

and disappeared for an entire week. That was most
probably the last serious beating I got from him. I
nearly landed in hospital.”
Page 192 of 1871

Gugu: “What would you do if I told you that I did
something really horrible?”
Thoriso: “We all do some horrible things every now

and again.”
Gugu: “I mean extremely horrible. Something

unforgiving.”
Thoriso: “You are really going to have to be a lot more

elaborative on that.”
Gugu: “Never mind. Let’s continue drinking.”
They carried on with their drinks in silence as she

often took a glimpse at her phone every now and
again. With each hour that passed and no message
or phone call from her parents and grandmother her
heart began to feel heavier. The coarse tears were
looming from deep within her eyes while her throat
started feeling extremely dry as if it were about to
close in on her. There is just something about alcohol
and pain; the more alcohol you drink with a heavy
heart the more you are bound to cry. She felt as if she
couldn’t take it anymore and just let the tears flow.
Page 193 of 1871

That was the very first time that she developed an
insalubrious affiliation with liquor. Thoriso noticed
that his friend was going through quite a lot and was
rather concerned.
Thoriso: “Hey what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
Gugu: (crying) “My life is such a mess Thoriso. I can’t

believe it.”
Thoriso: “What is bothering you so much Gugu? You

can tell me.”
Gugu: (shaking head) “No not here. What I have to

tell you should not be heard by others.”
Thoriso: “Okay then. I will ask Thapelo if he is home

alone today.”
Gugu: (shaking head) “No you said it yourself; we

cannot be seen together at his house.”
Thoriso: “What do you suggest? I mean I honestly

can’t take you to a guest house Gugu. You are a
minor. It just wouldn’t look right.”
Page 194 of 1871

Gugu: “Take me to your place then. You stay in the
back yard don’t you?”
Thoriso: “Yes but I don’t think it is a good idea. I mean

it will really give my parents and my sister the wrong
impression about you. They won’t think we’re friends
but they will assume I am taking advantage of a 14
year old.”
Gugu was deliberately trying to get Thoriso to take

her to his place. She was intentionally using her state
of mind to manipulate him into agreeing.
Gugu: (sobbing) “I understand. I mean I am all alone.

I have no friends no one to comfort me. I should not
have bothered you Thoriso. I am sorry. Please take
me home.”
Thoriso: “Come on Gugs don’t be like that.”
Gugu: “I meant no harm. I’ll be fine on my own.”
Thoriso looked at her and only saw a pained girl who

was in need of a friend.
Page 195 of 1871

Thoriso: (sigh) “Okay fine. I can try squeezing you into
my room.”
Gugu: “No don’t do that if it will only get you into

trouble.”
Thoriso: “No you need me more than anything right

now. Let’s go.”
Gugu nodded in relief while her heart was rejoicing

that at least she wouldn’t be alone. She was playing a
dangerous game for a 14 year old. As they drove to
his house Thoriso was hoping that his parents were
not home. Indeed no one was home. It was about
5pm in the afternoon. He got out of the car after
parking inside of the yard and looked around to see if
no one saw him from the gate.
Thoriso: “My parents are not back yet from their

Sunday lunch with my grandparents. Come let’s hurry
to my room. I’ll come back later to get the drinks.”
She nodded in agreement and hurried to his room.

She was quite impressed to see his back room so neat
Page 196 of 1871

and fashionably decorated. It smelled so nice in there
one would swear he had a woman who did all of that
for him. After he unlocked the door for her he went
outside quickly to get all the remaining alcohol and
snacks from the car. She placed herself in his bed
instead of the couch. He came back and put the
beverages in the fridge.
Thoriso: “Are you hungry? Can I make you something

to eat?”
Gugu: (shaking head) “No I’m okay.”
Thoriso: (shaking head) “Won’t you come and sit on

the couch?”
Gugu: “In a minute. It seems as if we are almost

running out of beer. Don’t you want to get us some
more?”
Thoriso: (shaking head) “Gugu you do know that you

are only 14 right? I only allowed you to drink because
you seemed to be stressed. I actually shouldn’t have.”
Page 197 of 1871

Gugu: “Stop acting like my father Thoriso. Live a little.
You were impressed with my rebellious behaviour the
first time you met me. Why are you acting like a
middle-aged man now?”
Thoris: (sigh) “I don’t want to do this with you right

now Gugu. I’ll be right back then. Make sure you
keep the door locked until I come back okay?”
She nodded in excitement as he went to get them

some more beverages to drink. She took it upon
herself to take a shower in his absence and sat on his
bed wrapped in a towel. When he came back he sent
her a text message to open the door only to find a
starting scene before him.
Thoriso: (shocked) “What’s this Gugu?”
Thoriso: “Why are you not dressed?”
Gugu: “Oh I just thought I should take a shower. Did I

overstep?”
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Thoriso: (nervously) “No… It’s just that…”
Gugu stepped closer to him and stared him in the eye.
Gugu: “It’s just what? I thought you liked me.”
Thoriso: “Gugu it’s not that. I mean of course I like

you but – “
Gugu: “But what?”
Thoriso: “I am 5 years older than you.”
Gugu: “And? Since when has that been a problem for

anyone in this country?”
Thoriso became weak.
Thoriso: “Gugu…”
Gugu went much closer towards him and started

kissing him. She had no idea what it was like to even
kiss a boy yet she went for it. Thoriso being a boy he
went ahead and kissed her back. Of course he
became aroused when she dropped her towel before
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him. His knees weakened and thought of saying no
but the word just wouldn’t come out of his mouth.
He gave into the temptation and slept with Gugu that
evening. Just like that she lost her virginity and wasn’t
even sure why she did it. After the somewhat painful
experience she lay her head on his chest. Thoriso was
not a bad guy he just fell prey to a very damaged girl.
Gugu: “I have something to tell you.”
Thoriso: “What is it?”
Just then she decided to tell him her deepest darkest

secret.
Gugu: “I’m the one that caused my mother’s

miscarriage.”
Thoriso: “What do you mean?”
She explained everything to him in as much shocking

detail as possible causing Thoriso’s heart to beat
uncontrollably fast. He had just taken the virginity of a
young girl who was indeed capable of murder. It was
only the beginning of madness itself. Gugu was young
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herself; she had no idea what the repercussions of sex
were but was soon to find out.
As Galatians 6:7 says; “Do not be deceived: God is not

mocked for whatever one sows that will he also reap.”
Chapter 11
1 Corinthians 15:33 – “Do not be deceived: “Bad
company ruins good morals.”
Gugu spent the night at Thoriso’s place while he

hardly slept a wink. After she dosed off he got out of
bed and put on his briefs. He stared at her
throughout the night while sipping on his beer.
Countless thoughts were racing through his mind and
ultimately they all led to one question he kept asking
himself; “what is so wrong with Gugu?” He could not
come up with an answer and so he just let his
thoughts be. His mind was about to come to a
standstill and rest for a bit until he recalled the most
important detail of the evening. Only then did he
really panic. He checked the time and it was about
6am. He needed to wake her up so he shook her
gently.
Thoriso: “Gugu wake up.”
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Gugu: “Hmm what time is it?”
Thoriso: “It’s time for you to go home.”
Gugu: “Oh my head.”
Thoriso: “I’ll get you some painkillers. Come on. My

parents are going to leave for work soon.”
Gugu: “So? Why must I leave if they will be leaving?”
Clearly she didn’t want to leave.
Thoriso: “Eish Gugu we need to go. You need to get a

morning after. We didn’t use a condom.”
Gugu: “Well pharmacies only start operating around 8

or 9am. Where do you think I will go at this time?”
Thoriso: “Home.”
Gugu: “Do you think my grandmother will let me live

if I arrive at her house at this time of the morning?”
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Thoriso: (frustrated) “Eish fine. Stay here. I’ll be back
soon.”
Gugu nodded and went back to sleep peacefully. He

realized that she clearly was not thinking straight
more especially after that confession she spewed the
previous night. He locked her in and took the key. He
could only hope and pray that she remained quiet
enough not to be seen by anyone. For a few hours
she wasn’t bothered by her family. She had told
herself that they knew and were going to crucify her
so she chose the wrong road already. She wasn’t
bothered by the fact that she could have been
possibly pregnant while lying on a 19 year old boy’s
bed. Only then around 7am her phone rang and it
was a call that came through from her grandmother.
She ignored it and two more calls that came through
soon afterwards. She basically looked at her
cellphone screen until Regina stopped calling. Around
8am Thoriso came back to the room hurriedly.
Gugu: “Oh you’re back already? I hope you brought

back some food for us.”
Thoriso: “No I brought you this.”
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He handed her the small box.
Gugu: “What’s this?”
Thoriso: “Plan B morning after pills. Take both at the

same time. Here.”
He handed her some water and she knew he wasn’t

about to budge. If anything he couldn’t wait to get
her out of there. After she took the pills she expected
him to tell her that breakfast will be served.
Thorisio: “Get dressed. It’s time for you to go home.”
Gugu: “But – “
Thoriso: (interjecting) “I have somewhere else I have

to be. Besides I really don’t want your grandmother
knocking on my door.”
Gugu: (saddened) “Okay. Let me get dressed.”
She got out of bed stark naked hoping he would get

aroused again at the sight of her naked body but he
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was more fearful than anything. Gugu on the other
hand tried stalling.
Gugu: “Eish (oh) it’s just that…”
Thoriso: “It’s just what?”
Gugu: “I don’t feel too well. It hurts… down there.”
Thoriso: “Soak your body in warm water with salt

when you get home. I’ll be waiting for you right
outside.”
She could clearly see that she was overstaying her

welcome which annoyed her much like any teenage
girl who is presumed in love with an older boy. He
was a teenager himself but he had plenty of
experience with girls like her. While he was
impatiently waiting on her right outside his room she
was sure taking her time getting dressed. He wasn’t
letting her win because five minutes later he knocked
on the door.
Thoriso: “Are you done?”
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Gugu opened the door in annoyance.
Gugu: “Yes you don’t have to rush me like that you

know. I’ll be out of your hair before you know it.”
She threw herself in his car and he drove out. They

had a rather awkwardly silent drive back to her
house. Upon turning on the corner of Regina’s house
Thoriso stopped the car.
Gugu: “Why are you stopping?”
Thoriso: “Do you want me to be seen dropping you

off right at your grandmother’s gate on a Monday
morning? You think I don’t value my life neh (isn’t
it)?”
Gugu: “Fine whatever.”
She got out of the car without saying goodbye to him

and banged the door closed. She walked for a few
minutes and entered the yard. She was stress less for
the first time in her life. Her own life didn’t even
matter at that point; she knew she was doomed and
couldn’t care less if her grandmother beat her to
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death. When she opened the door no one was home
– lucky for her. She made herself some proper fatty
and spicy food before getting back into bed. By the
time she woke up hours later Regina was still not
home. She checked her phone for messages and saw
a WhatsApp text from Nancy.
Nancy: “Hey I didn’t see you at school today. I hope

you’re still not moping about your sins. People have
surely done worse in this life. Text me when you get
this message. Xoxo Nancy.”
She was about to text her back when she heard the
kitchen door being opened and getting shut closed.
She knew then her grandmother was home by then.
Her body was trembling briefly as she saw her door
open.
Regina: “Where have you been?”
Gugu: “I was with a friend.”
Regina: “Which friend?”
Gugu: “Nancy.”
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Regina: (nodding) “I see.”
Regina was acting particularly weird for Gugu. She

wasn’t angry nor did she have a rod hidden behind
her to surprise her with a beating. Regina was about
to walk away when Gugu stopped her.
Gugu: “How is Mama?”
Regina: “Do you really want to know?”
Gugu: “Yes why wouldn’t I?”
Regina: “Are you really asking me that question?”
Gugu kept quiet and stared at the ground for a while.
Regina: “Why did you do it Gugu? You out of all

people. You’re only 14.”
She felt a sharp pain stab her in the gut as Regina said
that.
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Regina: “From the moment I met you I just knew that
you would be nothing but trouble. I prayed against it I
cleansed you and tried my level best but I suppose it
is your destiny. This is only the beginning my child but
it is not too late. If I were you I’d repent deeply and
seek forgiveness from the Lord. You should know that
I won’t hide my true feelings from you Gugu. You are
just a child and yet here you are – capable of murder.
You will be the reason for your own demise and I pray
that God has mercy on your soul.”
With that said she walked away with no further

conversation. Gugu had no idea what to do but the
guilt was starting to eat her up from her core. She felt
like such an outcast within her own family. She tried
to call her parents but none of the answered. She
knew she couldn’t speak to Regina because she really
had messed up. So she thought of going back to her
one and only partner in crime. Instead of calling she
took an Uber straight to her house only to find her
brother Karabo there.
Karabo: (smiling) “Hey.”
Gugu: “Hi is Natasha home?”
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Karabo: “No she has some extra classes at school. I
thought you’d know since you attend the same
school.”
Gugu: “Oh I didn’t go to school today.”
Karabo: “Hmm quite rebellious I see.”
Gugu: “Okay I guess I should be heading back home

now.”
Karabo: “Nonsense you came all this way to see your

friend. It wouldn’t be very hospitable of me to send
you back home. You can wait for her in the house. I
will keep you company if you don’t mind.”
She agreed and went into the house with karabo.

Upon entering Karabo was already busy making some
food for himself.
Karabo: “You’re in luck I made just enough food for

two.”
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Gugu chuckled and giggled like a smitten little girl.
After Karabo was done making them food they went
to sit near the patio. After eating he rolled them a
joint of weed and brought out some alcohol for them.
Karabo: “So you really want to tell me why you

weren’t at school today?”
Gugu: “Oh no nothing major. I am just going through

a lot.”
Karabo: “You mean killing your unborn sibling?”
Gugu could barely hide the shock on her face.
Karabo: (laughing) “Hey it’s okay really. I’m not

judging you – not one bit. If anything you and I have
something in common now.”
Gugu: “You call murder something in common?”
Karabo: “Oh no it is more getting what you want.

Don’t think of it like that – it will make you sick. Enjoy
this time and see yourself as a go-getter. If anything I
actually applaud you. I mean not many people would
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have done that. In order to get what you want in life
you have to be brave. And you my dear are one brave
girl.”
He knew just the right words to get under Gugu’s

skin. She giggled yet again. After smoking countless
joints and having an unnecessary amount of alcohol
in her system Karabo was ready for the final nail in the
coffin.
Karabo: “So what’s happening between you and

Thoriso?”
Gugu: (frowning) “What do you mean?”
Karabo: “You’re not stupid. You know exactly what I

mean. Are you dating or not?”
Gugu: “No we’re just friends.”
Karabo: “Just friends or just friends with benefits?”
Gugu took a moment to stare at Karabo in

amusement as he said that. “Could Thoriso have told
Karabo about last night?” she thought to herself.
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Gugu: “No we’re just friends.”
Karabo: (nodding) “I see.”
Gugu: “Why do you ask?”
He leaned in closer to her.
Karabo: (softly) “I think you know exactly why I am

asking.”
As she stared in his eyes Karabo wasted no time

further and kissed Gugu passionately. She was not
entirely sober much like the night before. She kissed
him back without hesitation. And just like that she
slept with the second boy in her life a day after losing
her virginity. If anything she should have learnt from
her mistake. She should have stayed home and
thought of the repercussions of her actions but
instead she chose the wrong way down. She was not
spiraling out of control but she was just heading down
the wrong way – fast. Karabo was not about to let her
go unlike Thoriso. He ensured that he slept with her
until he could not get enough. After their session on
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the patio they moved up to his bedroom and finished
off what they started. She didn’t even get a chance to
see Nancy as she was just so wrapped up with what
Karabo had in store for her. She had never been
sexed like that and for her it was love. She wanted to
escape the pain she was feeling but in turn she was
creating a life; a life that never asked to be born. That
life would grow up feeling lost confused and way out
of control because of her actions and bad choices. It
is bad enough growing up without a father but
imagine growing up with two possible fathers yet your
own mother refuses to find out who is the right one.
As said in Proverbs 11:14 – “Where there is no

guidance a people falls but in an abundance of
counselors there is safety.”
Chapter 12
1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins he is faithful and
just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness.”
A few weeks later…
Gugu had distanced herself from those who truly

loved her – her family. She went back to school
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within a few days after her sexcapade with Karabo.
Regina was gobsmacked to hear what Gugu was up to
since she never came back home since then. Zandile
was still struggling with processing the entire
situation. Grief and depression were getting the hold
of her. David was spiraling down a road of intense
depression. To make matters worse Zandile could not
stand to look David in the eye and asked him for one
thing; to remove Gugu from any of his policies before
divorcing her. David didn’t want to divorce her but
she couldn’t face her husband each and every day
knowing that her own daughter killed their own
unborn son. If she was very well capable of that –
who’s to say that she wouldn’t try that on them?
David was sad and beyond heartbroken.
Despite everything he could try he refused to remove

Gugu from being one of his beneficiaries. He also
refused to divorce Zandile. He loved that woman with
every bone in his body. He was determined to make
it work and he was more than willing to forgive Gugu.
It was too hard for Zandile to forgive her own
daughter and even harder to face her. She hadn’t
faced her since that day she took that lethal drink that
also nearly killed her. Not only did it kill their son but
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she had to have a hysterectomy – something that she
wasn’t sure she could forgive. It took her an entire
week to stop crying and Gugu didn’t even bother to
make it to the funeral. Of course Regina tried hiding it
from David’s family but they too wen to their own
traditional healer and found out the truth on their
own. So Gugu had become the most hated person
within that family and this time – within reason. Her
school attendance was very much erratic which
alerted the Principal. She was only in Grade 8.
Despite their intervention none of her family
members were willing to attend any of her meetings.
Regina was defeated for the first time in her life while
her parents were slowly giving into depression. She
was spending way too much time with Nancy and
Karabo and sleeping there every single day. She was
drinking and smoking on a daily basis – life gave her
lemons and she decided to make tons of lemonade.
One particular afternoon she felt brave enough to
face her parents. She wanted to go see them.
Nancy: “Hey KR is hosting a party tonight. Are you

game?”
Gugu: “I’ll see. I’d like to go visit my parents.”
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Nancy: “Oh come on. You told me yourself that you
were over them.”
Gugu: “Can one really be over their own parents

Nancy?”
Nancy: “I didn’t mean it a bad way Gugu. Why are

you taking it so personal?”
Gugu: “Whatever. I’ll see you later.”
Nancy: “Let us drop you off.”
Gugu: “So you can make a mockery of where I live?

No thank you.”
Gugu was behaving extremely out of the ordinary and

Nancy was getting annoyed by it. She let Gugu be as
she got into a taxi and headed straight to her parents.
She hadn’t seen her parents in weeks and it seemed
like the perfect time to make peace. Upon arrival she
saw both cars in the yard. It made sense for her
mother’s car to be present since she was still dealing
with grief but she thought her father would have
been at work by then. Her legs trembled a bit as she
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touched the gate. She was a little frightened to face
them but then she remembered Karabo’s words;
“You’re one brave girl if you want something in life
you’ve got to get your hands dirty”. She walked in
seemingly confident and knocked a few times before
opening the door. Upon entering the house she
found no one around but was welcomed by the divine
aroma of David’s homemade soup. He always made
that for them whenever they were feeling down. It
didn’t take long for David to hear the sound of
movement in the house. When he walked out of his
bedroom he saw Gugu standing right in the middle of
the kitchen. He had mixed emotions which caused
his entire body to stay locked for a few minutes. He
was relieved to see that she was still in one piece but
nothing could take away the pain she had caused her
parents. Gugu on the other hand felt a stabbing pain
when she saw how much weight David had lost. He
looked so frail and helpless.
David: (teary) “Gugu what are you doing here?”
Gugu: (crying) “I came to see my parents.”
David broke down immediately.
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David: “Why Gugu? Why did you do it? Couldn’t you
just have spoken to us?”
Gugu: (crying) “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
David: “Where did you even get the pills Gugu? I

don’t keep such pills around the house.”
Gugu: “I… I…”
David: “You could have killed her you know. You gave
her over 30 pills. Why on earth would you do that to
your own mother?!”
David had tried to be calm throughout but once the

anger got to him he just exploded. Zandile heard
everything and came out of the bedroom.
Zandile: “What is all this noise about David?”
She saw her long-awaited daughter standing there in

tears and it shook her.
Gugu: (crying) “Mama!”
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She was about to run towards her mother when she
blocked her from doing so by raising her hand. Gugu
was flabbergasted. Her mother always put her first
and no matter what she did she was always forgiven.
Seeing her mother rejecting her attempt towards
forgiveness was hurtful.
Gugu: (crying) “Mama I’m sorry.”
Zandile: “Gugu how could you do that to me? Did you

know I had to lose my uterus because of you?!”
Gugu: (sobbing) “I’m sorry Mama.”
Zandile: “David took you as his own daughter. Do you

know how many men actually do that?! He loves
you. That was actually his sin – he should have never
loved you. Loving you must be a crime against
humanity because look at what you have done. You
are the cause of our misery Gugu and you are just
reaping the benefits. Do you know I asked David to
remove you as a beneficiary on all his policies? He
said to me he won’t do it because he loves you.
Despite you being a killer at your age he still loves
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you. I beg the Lord to help me forgive you daily but I
just can’t do it. You have caused me so much pain
Gugu. It would have been better had you just begged
God to take away your brother but you just had to
take matters into your own hands just like Satan. I
didn’t raise the devil’s advocate and I pray God has
mercy on your soul.”
Gugu couldn’t stand the heat. She looked at them

both but they just looked at her in disgust. She was
hurt to say the least and stormed out of there with
tears in her eyes. It was no use for her to go back to
Rosina’s house since she behaved like a young
woman. She had never seen that look of disgust on
her mother’s face. The pain she instilled in her
parents was so severe but she was struggling to
understand the severity of her actions. She thought
of calling Thoriso as he was the only person she would
call whenever she was in trouble. Lucky for her he
answered.
Thoriso: “Gugu.”
Gugu: “Hi are you busy?”
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Thoriso: “Kind of. What’s up?”
Gugu: “Can you come fetch me from my parents’

house?”
Thoriso: “Eish (oh) I’m kind of busy preparing myself

for tonight’s party.”
Gugu: “Karabo’s party?”
Thoriso: “Yeah I’m kind of busy preparing myself for

tonight’s party.”
Gugu: “Karabo’s party?”
Thoriso: “Yeah how do you know about that?”
Gugu: “Oh Nancy told me about it. I’m also going.

Can you fetch me and we can go together?”
Thoriso: “Oh I don’t know about that.”
Gugu: “Please I have no one else to call.”
Thoriso: (sigh) “Okay. I’ll be right there.”
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Gugu: “Thanks.”
They ended the call and Thoriso made his way to

Gugu as he promised. She got into the car and it was
the first time they saw one another after their first
time having sex.
Gugu: “Thanks for coming.”
Thoriso: “Yeah. Sure.”
He drove off and it was yet another awkward silence.

She didn’t think of telling him what she had been up
to and so she chose to remain quiet. Once they
arrived at Nancy’s house Karabo was less than
pleased to see Thoriso pulling up with Gugu. He had
no idea that he was the one who took her virginity
but no man wants to see another one driving with the
girl he is sleeping with. Karabo being the rich bastard
he was he chose to make Thoriso feel small. The
moment Gugu got out of Thoriso’s car he chose to
overwhelm her with affection. He kissed her
passionately and hugged her right before the
distraught Thoriso. He didn’t exactly love her but he
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surely didn’t expect her to be involved romantically
with the likes of Karabo. Overwhelmed with shock he
tried his utmost best to hide it.
Karabo: “What’s up my man? You’re early for a

change.”
Thoriso: “Yeah. What can I say?”
Karabo: “Well come on in.”
Karabo was clearly trying to get Thoriso to ask about

him and Gugu but he just wouldn’t budge. They went
into the house and by then a few guests had already
arrived. Gugu’s obvious feeling of freedom around
the house made Thoriso put two and two together.
Clearly she and Karabo were together for quite some
time. Gugu even went to Karabo’s room to change
while he decided to keep Thoriso company. As
annoyed as Thoriso was he kept mum about the
entire situation. The party was about to start when
Gugu suddenly felt a bit tired.
Nancy: “Hey aren’t you coming?”
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Gugu: “Eish (oh) I am feeling rather tired.”
Nancy: “Must be from all the bonking you and my

brother have been doing. Come on take an energy
drink or something.”
They headed downstairs and no matter what Gugu

tried she just kept yawning.
Karabo: (frowning) “Hey babe are you alright?”
Gugu: (nodding) “Yes I’m fine. I am just feeling a bit

tired.”
Nancy: “I’d also be tired if I were getting laid every

single day.”
Thoriso cleared his throat uncomfortably and got up.

While he went to get another beer from the table
across the pool the most extraordinary thing
happened.
Karabo: “Ag Nancy don’t be such a jealous girl man. I

know just the thing that will get you your kink back
babe.”
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He took out a roll of weed from his pocket as usual.
The moment he lit it Gugu could hardly stand the
smell. She inadvertently changed her face.
Nancy: (frowning) “Are you alright Gugs?”
Gugu shook her head and before she could even

respond she vomited right on the spot. Everyone was
fine with it as they assumed she probably had too
much to drink until Nancy said something that really
caused panic amongst the three people involved.
Nancy: “Whoa girlfriend. You really need to ease off

on the alcohol.”
Gugu: “I didn’t even drink today. I don’t feel so well. I

think I need to lie down.”
Karabo: “Go I’ll clean up here.”
Gugu nodded and got up with Nancy by her side.

Before they left Nancy ensured that she said
something everyone would hear.
Page 226 of 1871

Nancy: “If I didn’t know better I’d say you were
pregnant. But then you wouldn’t be that stupid now
would you?”
Gugu felt her stomach churn as it just hit her. “When

was the last time I got my period?” she thought to
herself. The hole she had dug for herself was getting
deeper and deeper.
As said in 1 Chronicles 16:11 – “Seek the Lord and his

strength; seek his presence continually!”
Chapter 13
James 4:7 – “Submit yourselves therefore to God.
Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”
Gugu was restless ever since her vomiting incident

that evening during the party. So many thoughts
went through her mind that she even chose to go to
most distraught teenagers’ trusted friend – Google.
She searched for each and every symptom she was
experiencing; from nausea to increased fatigue. She
saw a few other symptoms listed such as sensitive
nipples and the most obvious one – a missed period.
She checked all the boxes and couldn’t believe how
stupid and reckless she had been. She tried to think
Page 227 of 1871

of who could have been the father and although she
was sleeping with Karabo there was nothing standing
in the way to prove that Thoriso was the father. Her
thoughts forcibly made her sober. While she was
trying to fight her demons in Karabo’s bed she heard
the bedroom door open slowly. She thought it was
Karabo himself only to find that it was Thoriso.
Thoriso: “Hi can we talk?”
Gugu: “Oh it’s you. What’s up?”
Thoriso: “I am sorry. I know you were expecting

Karabo but I desperately need to talk to you.”
Gugu: “Well the stage is yours.”
Thoriso: “So you’re dating Karabo now?”
Gugu: (frowning) “Isn’t that obvious?”
Thoriso: (upset) “Are you pregnant?”
Gugu: (angrily) “What’s it to you Thoriso?”
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Thoriso: “Oh so we’re playing that game now aren’t
we?”
Gugu: “There is no game here. You made it

absolutely clear that you want nothing to do with
me.”
Thoriso: “Fine tell you what. Should you be pregnant

– it’s not mine. Don’t even bother trying to pin it on
me Gugu. You are just selfish and immature and
don’t ever contact me ever again!”
Right after he said that Karabo walked into his room

and found a very tense scene.
Karabo: “Is everything okay in here?”
Gugu: “Ye… Yes.”
Karabo: (frowning) “Thoriso bra since when do you

enter my room? More especially when there is a
woman in here?”
Thoriso: “I just came to check up on her as a friend.

It’s no big deal just chill man.”
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Thoriso walked out just like that leaving Karabo
confused.
Karabo: “Are you okay?”
Gugu: “Yes.”
Karabo: “What did he really want?”
Gugu: “Like he said he came to check up on me.”
Karabo: “It didn’t sound like that when I walked in

here.”
Gugu: (sigh) “He is just upset that I never told him

about you and I.”
Karabo: “Oh I see. Oh well Thoriso has always loved

taking my left overs in any case.”
That was such a cringe worthy statement but Gugu

being herself didn’t take note of it then.
Karabo: “How are you feeling now?”
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Gugu: “I am much better but I still can’t stomach
anything.”
Karabo: “Hmm perhaps you need to go see a doctor

tomorrow. Or better yet ask your dad what’s wrong
with you. He’s a doctor isn’t he?”
Gugu was just amazed at Karabo’s nonchalant

behaviour. He kept throwing her parents in her face
knowing very well what she had done to them. He
had quickly gone back to the bedroom to check up on
her and went back to join the party. Gugu had a
sleepless night and couldn’t wait until morning.
When it was finally morning she left Karabo sleeping
right next to her. The house looked like a real mess
and she just wanted to get out of there. As she
approached the kitchen her heart nearly failed her
when she was met with two people who looked like
the Medupe’s. It didn’t take her very long to
recognize the striking resemblance amongst them
and Karabo and Nancy. She was panicking with no
Karabo or Nancy in sight. They looked like they had
just come back from vacation draped in really
expensive clothing.
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Mrs. Medupe: (frowning) “Can we help you?”
Gugu: (nervously) “Uh… I’m…”
Thankfully the Driver walked in with their bags and

saved the day.
Driver: “Oh that’s Nancy’s friend Gugu. She slept here

after the party Karabo hosted.”
Gugu was relieved that he didn’t mention she was

Karabo’s girlfriend.
Mr. Medupe: “Oh well why didn’t you just say so?
Look at this place. It is such a mess.”
Mrs. Medupe: “Oh come on Raymond. What on

earth do you expect? We literally left them alone to
fend for themselves while we tour and travel the
world.”
Mr. Medupe: “That still doesn’t give them the right to

trash my house. Now you see why I won’t ever give
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Karabo any responsibility in my company. He can’t
handle a thing.”
Mrs. Medupe: “Don’t start such in front of strangers.

Would you be so kind to drop her off? She did seem
like she was on her way out.”
She spoke to the driver about Gugu as if she was non-

existent.
Driver: (nodding) “Certainly ma’am.”
Mrs. Medupe: “Very well then.”
She looked at Gugu as if she was nothing. Gugu didn’t

look half bad but then she just made her feel so
inadequate without even knowing her. Something
didn’t seem right. They were either posh people who
thought very little of those beneath them or she must
have heard something about Gugu from her children
that wasn’t very pleasant.
Gugu: “Well it was nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs.

Medupe.”
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They just nodded in agreement as she walked out.
The Driver ushered her to the car and opened the car
door for her. While they drove away the driver
noticed that something was really bothering Gugu
and decided to go for it and become an advisor.
Driver: (clearing throat) “Forgive me for being nosy

Ms. Gugu but are you and Karabo really dating?”
Gugu: “Yes why do you ask? Has he said something to

you?”
Driver: (sigh) “I don’t mean to pry but my advice?

Forget about him.”
Driver: “He is firstly too old for you and secondly his
family will never approve of you. There is absolutely
nothing wrong with you but just take my advice.”
Gugu: “But… what if it might be too late?”
Driver: “If you’re pregnant don’t even bother telling

him. He and his parents will force you to abort or
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make your life a living hell if you choose to keep it.
Take my advice – a lot of girls who were once in your
position failed and you don’t want to know what
happened to them.”
Gugu knew she was in a lot of shit by then. She

politely asked him to drop her off at the nearest
shopping complex.
Gugu: “Thank you for the ride.”
Driver: “Don’t forget what I said.”
With that said he drove off. She was starting to

overthink things so much that she didn’t care who
was watching her at that point to be honest. When
she walked into the pharmacy she took about three
pregnancy tests. When she approached the till to pay
for them she found one of her grandmother’s friends
was the cashier. The lady tried to get her to
participate in some chit-chat but Gugu wouldn’t hear
of it. They must have heard of how rude she was
from Regina but she couldn’t be bothered. She just
wanted those tests and knowing church ladies it
would have reached her grandmother’s ears by noon.
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She took another taxi straight to her grandmother’s
house since her mother was still home and on leave.
She rushed into Regina’s house who was not home at
that time and went straight to the bathroom.
Once she urinated in a cup she dipped all three of

them in at the same time. She got the shock of her
life when it didn’t even take 5 minutes for both lines
to appear. She dropped onto that cold bathroom
floor with tears shattering her entire face. She
couldn’t believe it. Who was she to confide in when
she hardly had any friends? That was the least of her
worries who was the father? She didn’t take the time
to take a bath and headed straight out to the nearest
GP available. She was fond of the doctor as he was
their family doctor. She booked an appointment
herself and was the third person in the queue. She
couldn’t stop tapping her foot while the nerves were
slowly kicking in. Again it felt as if all eyes were on her
and people were judging her. When it was her time
she got another shock of her life.
Doctor: “Well I am afraid you’re right – you’re indeed

pregnant.”
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Gugu: (nervously) “How far along am I doctor?”
Doctor: “You’re about six weeks pregnant.”
She burst into tears for numerous reasons but the

most obvious one being that she had no idea who
was the father.
Doctor: “Are you alright? Do you know who the

father is? Was it consensual?”
Gugu: (shaking head) “Is it possible for you to tell me

who the father is?”
Doctor: “I am afraid we can’t tell until you are far

enough along the pregnancy for us to be able to do
an amniosynthesis.”
Gugu: “Oh no. My life is ruined.”
Doctor: “There are other options you know but since

you are a minor I am not obliged to perform anything
without your parents’ consent.”
Gugu: “No you can’t tell my parents.”
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Doctor: “Look I won’t tell them as it is a doctor-patient
confidentiality thing but their medical aid will flag it.”
Gugu: “I will pay cash then.”
Doctor: “Gugu you have wonderful and very

supportive parents. It would be best to let them
know what you’re going through.”
Gugu: “Thanks for your concern. I have to go. I will

be sure to pay cash on my way out. Just make sure
you don’t claim from my parents’ medical aid.”
Indeed she walked out and paid cash for her

consultation. She took a walk home instead to clear
her head. She took a life and God chose to bless her
with one of her own. How was that even fair? She
couldn’t stop crying on her way back home. She
quickly wiped away her tears before entering the
house. She went straight to the bathroom and got
into the tub. She stayed there for a good two hours
just crying and doing nothing else. It is said that once
you find out that you are indeed pregnant – the
symptoms kick in almost immediately. She went
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online and researched many ways to induce abortion
naturally. The results were horrifying. The price of a
legal abortion at a hospital was even more horrifying.
Where was she going to find R3000 which was the
bare minimum? She texted Thoriso after her bath
and asked him if they could meet up because it was
urgent. As expected he returned the worst response
there was in the book. “Don’t call or text me.
Consider yourself history!” Things had gone from bad
to the worst. Once she was done she found Regina in
her bedroom sitting on her bed. It only took her a
few seconds to realize that she had found the
pregnancy tests as they were right there on her
bedside table.
Gugu: (nervously) “Koko (granny)…”
Regina: “I bumped into Georgina in the taxi. She told

me something very interesting and I didn’t believe it. I
even told her to mind her own business until I found
these in your bedroom.”
She waved the pregnancy tests before her.
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Regina: “Ke gore (so really) you want to throw your
entire future away just like this Gugu?”
Gugu: (teary) “I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t part of the

plan.”
Regina: “What did you expect out of unprotected sex

Gugu? A slap on the wrist? Haven’t you learnt
anything in Life Orientation?”
Gugu: “I’m sorry.”
Regina stood up and could barely look at her.
Regina: “Don’t even try to abort that child. Your

father’s ancestors won’t have it.”
She just left her standing there sobbing in her

bedroom. She had yet another restless night and
could barely even think of anything else. The
following morning was a Sunday and church day as
usual. Regina was too disappointed in Gugu to even
worry about her at that point in time. Gugu had
hopes that she could talk to her grandmother only to
find that she was already gone and left her alone in
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the house. She thought of calling her parents but
neither of them responded to her calls. It was rather
selfish of her to want their support after the pain she
inflicted on them unprovoked. Her feelings of
selfishness took over her body yet again. All she could
do was think of herself and what she stood to lose.
She received a text from Nancy.
Nancy: “Hey I am checking up on you. What’s up?”
Gugu: “Nothing much what’s going on with you?”
Nancy: “Nothing really. I heard you met my parents.

Did they mention anything interesting?”
Gugu: “No not really.”
Nancy: “Oh okay.”
Gugu: “What are you up to? Can we meet up?”
Nancy: “Sure let’s go out for coffee and breakfast. I’ll

be there to pick you up in an hour.”
Gugu: “Cool.”
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She took a quick bath and waiting for Nancy who was
punctual as always. She got into the car but couldn’t
help but notice the Driver’s obvious stares of
disappointment that she didn’t listen to his words.
They went to one of her parents’ restaurants and
ordered. Meanwhile she contemplated confiding in
the only friend she had ever known.
Nancy: “You look so worried. What’s wrong?”
Gugu: (sigh) “There’s something I need to tell you.”
Nancy: “What is it? (giggling) “Are you pregnant or

something?”
When Gugu didn’t respond to the joke as she had

hoped she realized it was the actual case.
Nancy: (shocked) “Oh my word! You’re pregnant?!”
Gugu: “Shh not so loud man.”
Nancy: “Sorry it’s just that – haven’t you learnt

anything at school though?”
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Gugu: “I did what are you judging me now?”
Nancy: “No it’s just that – is Karabo the father?”
Gugu: “Well…”
Nancy: (shocked) “You’re not serious Gugu! Are you

trying to tell me that you were sleeping with more
than one man without a condom?”
Gugu: “I… it’s not what you think okay?”
She explained the entire story from the moment she

lost her virginity to hooking up with Karabo. Nancy
was beyond shocked so much so that she changed
her tune immediately.
Nancy: “Wow I mean I never took you for a whore

Gugu.”
Gugu: “Excuse me?”
Nancy: “I mean what did you expect was going to

happen? My brother could have an STD or even HIV
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for all we know because of you! How could you even
be so stupid?!”
Gugu: “Why are you blaming me here? I am only 14

years old.”
Nancy: “Exactly – you should have known better than

to open your legs to a guy as old as my brother.
Whatever you do – keep that bastard child of yours
away from my brother and my family. We’ve had
enough chancers like you who have tried to have
children with my brother. They never succeeded –
and neither will you.”
She paid the bill and left Gugu right there. Gugu tried
to contact Karabo after her brief breakfast with Nancy
but he too told her where to get off. Her entire life
turned messy within just a few weeks and it was all
her fault. Everyone has a choice and she chose to
make a stream of bad choices. She kept trying to call
her parents throughout the entire day but they didn’t
respond. She became angry and felt so alone with no
one to talk to. She went to the nearest bottle store
and got herself a few beers and locked herself in her
bedroom. She stalked both Karabo and Thoriso’s
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profiles all over social media trying to figure out if
there was perhaps someone else. She stalked the
Medupe’s on social media and became even angrier
at the thought of them treating her like dirt. Her
parents were ghosting her and her thoughts were
racing with the most negative scenarios any child
could ever think of. The Devil was using her and
having a good laugh while at it. She wrote a Facebook
status; “Friends will deceive you and then leave you
hanging. Your own parents will leave you to deal with
your own demons. If anything – I feel lost and alone
with no one in my corner. I wish they were all dead.”
She forgot to remind herself of one thing that the
Bible continues to tell us of – “the power of the
tongue”. She dozed off after drinking a few beers.
She woke up in around 6pm with the most shocking
comments all over her Facebook status. “You killed
your own parents I can’t believe you.” The insults
kept coming leaving her so confused. As far as she
knew her parents were very much alive when she saw
a very disturbing article appear on her newsfeed with
a picture of her father’s wrecked car and a very
distressing title “Three people die in horror crash after
failed brakes forced one to run a red light.”
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As said in Proverbs 18:21 – “Death and life are in the
power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its
fruits.”
Chapter 14
1 Peter 3:10 – “For “Whoever desires to love life and
see good days let him keep his tongue from evil and
his lips from speaking deceit.”
Gugu blinked a few times and refreshed her page in

disbelief but it was all true. The news she was reading
was all true. She read the article start to finish and
could not believe that indeed her parents were even
named. The other person was still yet to be
confirmed by the media. She couldn’t help but feel
anxious. Who was the third person? She thought
that perhaps it was Mam’Regina and that she was
officially an orphan without any loved one or family.
She panicked at the thought of having absolutely no
one around in her corner. Being all alone was not an
option – not for her. She quickly got up and changed
into some decent clothing. She was just about to
leave when she met Regina in the kitchen. She looked
so despondent words could barely describe it. She
looked so defeated like she had been crying endlessly.
Page 246 of 1871

The look on her face was confirmation enough for
Gugu.
Gugu: (teary) “Koko (granny)…”
Regina: (teary) “I’m sorry Gugu…”
Those three words were deafening to her. She felt an

echoed silence in the room. Gugu stayed silent for a
while and carefully studied Mam’Rosina hoping that
she would say it was all a prank to punish her for
being so bad but she wasn’t budging. The tears kept
streaming down her face and the sadness was real.
Gugu: (crying) “Koko… Please… Don’t tell me what I

think you’re saying…”
Regina: “I am afraid it is true baby. Your parents are

gone. I’m sorry.”
Gugu: “No! You have powers to heal – to see!

Couldn’t you have seen this? Couldn’t you have
stopped this?!”
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Rosina: “I am not God Gugu. I don’t play with
people’s lives. I don’t always see everything.”
Gugu let out a loud wail as she dropped to the floor.

It felt as if the ground was slowly swallowing her but
not finishing the job. She felt a very tight knot deep
within her gut. Her intestines were twisting and
turning making her feel nauseous too. It wasn’t the
time for Regina to give Gugu a reality check but it was
rather time for her to comfort her grand daughter.
Regina went down on her knees and held Gugu
tightly.
Regina: “It will be okay. You have me. I am still here.

We will get through this no matter what. Let us just
trust in the Lord my baby.”
Gugu cried hopelessly as Mam’Regina got her some

water with sugar to calm her down.
Regina: “Here drink this. It will calm you down. Stress

is not good for the baby. Whatever you feel the baby
can feel too.”
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Gugu: (angrily) “I don’t care about this baby! I don’t
want it.”
Regina: “Every action has a consequence Gugu. Let’s

not talk about this right now. You need some rest.”
Gugu: “How do you expect me to sleep when my

parents are dead? I want to see them.”
Regina: “It’s not a good idea. Their bodies were burnt

beyond recognition. I had to identify them with items
of clothing and your mother’s birthmark on her foot.”
Gugu: “I don’t care. I want to see them Gogo

(granny).”
Regina could very well see that Gugu’s stubbornness

was prevailing and she wasn’t about to let it go. She
nodded in agreement.
Regina: “Okay then. Grab your jacket in case you feel

a bit cold. I’ll be waiting for you in the car.”
Gugu did as told and met the uneasy Regina in the

car. She was secretly hoping that Gugu would change
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her mind along the way but once they arrived at the
mortuary Gugu was the first person to get out of the
car. Regina slowly exited the car and took one more
look at Gugu.
Regina: (apprehensive) “Are you sure you really want

to do this? I mean you really don’t have to.”
Gugu: “I want to. Lead the way please.”
Regina nodded anxiously as she led the way. They

reached the mortuary and were led in by the
workers. The abnormal cold breeze of the mortuary
made Gugu uneasy the moment she felt it. They
walked in and saw a big cold room with tons of
drawers. She had seen a few in movies. “So this is
where they actually keep dead people” she thought
to herself. One of the workers started pulling one of
the drawers out and a body bag was seen on one of
the trays. She pulled another and yet another body
bag lay on the tray. Gugu’s stomach started churning
immediately. She was most probably not ready for
that but she pushed. The worker slowly unzipped one
of the bags and Gugu saw her disfigured father’s face.
His face was so badly burnt that one could barely
Page 250 of 1871

recognize him. When her mother’s body bag was
unzipped it was even worse. She could not even tell it
was her at all from her face but the birth mark on her
leg was a clear indication as Regina said. She could
not probe that she had done that to her own parents.
Her tears started streaming down her face yet again.
Tears of self-pity and deep-seethed regret. Regina
was there to comfort her granddaughter but even
seeing her parents like that was not going to change
her. She was deeply distraught and traumatized all
over again – but surely it only lasted for a little while.
They got out of there barely saying a word to one
another. Regina decided to take her out for some
lunch and try to get the funeral arrangments done. It
was not going to be easy with David’s family in the
picture. After a hearty meal that took two hours to go
finally go down well Regina started the conversation.
Regina: “I was thinking that we could have them

buried on Friday but I will have to wait and see what
David’s family have to say. Zandi was of course their
bride.”
Gugu: “They have no say. She was my mother.”
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Regina: “It’s not easy for you to understand right now
Gugu. But I promise you one day you will.”
Gugu: “Who was the other person that died in the

crash?”
Regina: “Oh it was your friend Nancy.”
Gugu got the shock of her life the moment she heard
that.
Gugu: (flabbergasted) “Are you sure?”
Regina: “Yes her family confirmed it this morning.”
Gugu: “Wow who was she with?”
Regina: “She was driving alone. You know how rich

kids are.”
Gugu tried to wrap all of that around her head. Yes

her friend was dead but she was relieved to say the
least. She even wanted to smile so badly but she let
out a brief chuckle.
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Gugu: (scoffing) “Ja neh.”
Regina: “What is it?”
Gugu: “Nothing.”
Regina: “Alright then. I will go meet up with David’s

family and let you know of my progress.”
Gugu: “I am going with you. I mean he was my father

after all.”
Regina just nodded in agreement. She just wanted to

soothe her pain knowing very well she was a bit of an
animal. They drove in awkward silence to the
Mokoena household. Of course Deborah was the
most distraught of them all. She was thinking about
what would have to be of her children now that David
was dead. Immediately after she heard the news she
dressed herself in mourning clothes of which was
completely unnecessary. David’s mother on the other
hand was too distraught to even speak. She went
completely mute ever since the news broke. When
Regina and Gugu entered the house one could hear
the needle drop due to all the tension.
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Regina: (clearing throat) “Dumelang (Greetings).”
They kept quiet for a while – all eyeing Gugu. She

could literally feel their piercing looks but Regina had
to remain strong for her grand daughter despite all
she had done.
Deborah: (angrily) “Why did you bring her here?”
Regina: “I am not sure what you mean Deborah

because she is David’s daughter.”
Deborah: “Stepdaughter!”
And there it was; the continual curse of black family

fueds.
Regina: (deep sigh) “It amazes me that even in today’s

world we still have women who think like you
Deborah. You know very well that David paid lobola
for my Zandi and you were there when he vowed to
take her as his own. So why now that he is gone do
you decide to rub salt into this child’s wounds? She is
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now an orphan. Is that not enough to make you have
a heart? As a woman Deborah.”
Deborah: (angrily) “She killed my brother! She killed

his seed and that was not enough for her so she
decided to kill both her parents! If anything – she
deserves all that is coming towards her! If I were God
I’d make sure that she suffers her entire life! She was
born worthless and so she shall have a worthless life!”
Regina: (angrily) “You shall not speak about my

grandchild like that Deborah! How on earth would
you feel if I cursed your children as well?! Would you
like that?!”
Deborah: “I don’t give a damn Regina! My children

have always been blessed and shall remain so!”
Regina: “I wouldn’t be so sure Deborah. Be careful

what you say – the tongue is a very powerful too. You
are using it to break a child.”
Deborah: “That is no child and as a seer you ought to

know that. She is the devil reincarnate.”
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Regina: “I don’t have to listen to this right now. I will
come back when you are calm and we can all speak
about a way forward regarding the funeral.”
Deborah: (chuckling) “I don’t see what that has to do

with you. Why should we speak to you when David
paid lobola for Zandile? She was a Mokoena? Have
you forgotten that? I mean come on Regina you don’t
really have a say here since she wasn’t really your
daughter. If anything we all know that God didn’t
bless you with the power to birth a human being.”
Those words cut through Regina’s heart like a double-

edged sword. Deborah was playing with fire; she was
messing with the wrong person; a woman of prayer.
Regina: (inhaling deeply) “I hope one day when you

come groveling for forgiveness that you shall bear in
mind the pain you have caused today.”
With that said Regina walked out without no further

word said. She remained mum for the rest of the day
as she locked herself in her bedroom. Gugu could
sense that Regina was going through some emotions
but her being herself was of utmost importance to
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her. The more she scrolled through her social media
feeds and the disturbing comments on her pages the
more she felt as if she was going over the edge. She
had no one to confide in no friends and no family
except Nessa who was more than willing to lend a
thoughtful ear. She was texting Gugu ever other hour
checking on her but that was not enough for Gugu.
She headed out and was back to her usual tricks. She
got someone to buy alcohol for her and headed back
home. She locked herself in her bedroom and started
drinking – completely ignoring the fact that she had
an innocent life growing inside of her. By the time she
was done drinking all six of her beers she went back
to social media. She started breaking down watching
the pictures of the accident scene all over again and
the disturbing image of her parents’ burnt bodies kept
playing in her mind. She posted anything and
everything she felt and thought of and dozed off
soon. The following day Regina was back to her old
self after a very long prayer session with herself. She
knocked tirelessly on Gugu’s door that morning but
Gugu was too drunk to respond. She went and got
the master key from her own set of keys and unlocked
Gugu’s door only to be met with horror.
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Regina: (shocked) “Gugu! Gugu! Wake up!”
Gugu struggled to get up but heard Regina’s voice.

Her head was pounding.
Gugu: “Eish (oh) Koko (granny) not so loud.”
Regina: “Did you drink all these?! Are you mad?!”
Gugu: “What’s the point? I already told you I don’t

want this baby.”
Regina: “Gugu we already spoke about this. I told you

– the more you reject this child the more anguish you
are bringing upon yourself.”
Gugu: “I don’t care! I don’t want this child!”
Regina: “You made your bed now you have to lie in it.
Now get up we have things to do.”
Gugu: “Can’t we do it later? I am not feeling so well.”
Regina: “No you should have thought of that before

you started drinking. I am giving you one hour.”
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She left her like that as she went about her business.
Gugu was dragging her feet. Each and every noise felt
like torture and her body felt as if it was denying her
peace. Once she was done she could not even
stomach anything. Every scent made her extremely
nauseous. Regina took Gugu and went to make a few
errands claiming from a few policies and closing
Zandile’s accounts. She was doing all that for Gugu
since she was her guardian she would also be her
executor regarding all her mother’s estate. Gugu was
not bothered. Most of the time she asked to remain
in the car and sleep while her grandmother went to
run errands alone. Her last stop was at Zandile’s
workplace who were more than saddened to have
lost such a good lawyer. Everything was in place she
had a will and everything written down in the event of
her death. Once she was done she headed to the car
and found Gugu still sleeping.
Regina: “Gugu I told you to drink water.”
Gugu: “I did nothing is working.”
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Regina: “Well that is what you get for drinking while
pregnant. Let’s go get something to eat for you.”
Gugu: “I’m not hungry.”
She received an unexpected call and answered it

hesitantly.
Regina: “Hello?”
Caller: “Good day ma’am. You’re speaking to David

Mokoena’s lawyer. I assume I am speaking to
Mam’Regina?”
Regina: “Yes you are.”
Caller: “Good. Forgive me for my poor introduction.

My name is Bongani from Bhekimuzi and partners. I
am Mr. Mokeona’s lawyer. I am calling regarding his
will reading. Are you perhaps available today?”
Regina: “Yes I am.”
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Caller: “Good is 3pm okay with you? I’ll be reading it
at the Mokoena household in his own house as per
his own wishes.”
Regina: “Okay that is perfectly fine with me. We shall

meet you there.”
Caller: “Alright. See you soon.”
He hung up and Mam’Regina had a rather distinctive

feeling about him. That name rang a very faint bell.
Little did she know that the past was slowly rectifying
itself. Zandile died before receiving what was due to
her from her first marriage but inheritance does not
expire.
As said in Proverbs 11:17 - “Your own soul is

nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when
you are cruel.”
Chapter 15
Proverbs 11:14 – “Where there is no guidance a
people falls but in an abundance of counselors there
is safety”.
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While Mam’Regina was mentally preparing herself for
the upcoming war with the remaining Mokoena
members Gugu could not be bothered by what the
lawyers had to say. As far as she was concerned her
parents were just ordinary and had little to no
money. They were just average income earners as far
as she knew but she had no idea that her fate was
about to change. Mam’Regina kept glancing at Gugu
with so much worry while Gugu was just trying so
hard to nurse her incurable hangover. She could
stomach nothing and all she wanted to do was sleep.
School was the furthest thing from her mind and the
funeral even furthest. Upon entering the street
where the house was situated she could already see
about four cars parked right outside. She knew that
Deborah had gone and recruited the entire family to
gang up on her. She had no one by her side so it was
literally just her and Gugu. She was a strong woman
but everyone has their limits. While she was looking
for a spot to park her car Deborah walked towards her
and didn’t even give her a chance to park. She
immediately knocked discourteously on
Mam’Regina’s car window and started complaining.
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Deborah: (angrily) “We’ve been waiting for you for so
long! The least you could have done was alert us that
you have changed the house locks!”
Bongani: (annoyed) “I changed the locks to the

house. As per the deceased’s wishes I had to wait for
Mam’Regina and Gugu to arrive first before opening.”
Deborah: “You mean to tell me that you had the keys

to the house this entire time and said nothing?! Have
you no shame?! I mean my mother is old and she has
been waiting right outside her son’s house!”
Bongani: “She has been waiting in the car all this time
and besides I did tell you what time you had to arrive
here. No one told you to arrive an hour before the
time.”
Deborah: “This is just what I mean. Zulus are just

disrespectful.”
Bongani: “I did not come here to listen to you speak ill

of the Zulu tribe.”
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He ignored her furthermore and greeted Mam’Regina
with the utmost respect as well as Gugu.
Bongani: (smiling) “Greetings Ma. It is such an honour

to meet you. David has told me quite about you. And
you must be Gugu the apple of his eye.”
She smiled briefly at him.
Mam’Regina: “I hope we’re not late.”
Bongani: “Not at all. In fact you are on time. Ignore

her she is just all bark and no bite.”
By then he was referring to Deborah. When she was

starting to become angered and started hurling insults
they did best and ignored her. Bongani opened the
house and welcomed Regina and Gugu into the
house. Deborah had to follow suit with her mother
and some other family members she had brought
along with her. Bongani headed straight to the dining
area while the house felt quite cold for Gugu. The
odd memories she once had with her parents were
playing in her mind. She never thought she would be
orphaned at the tender age of 14. Tears were
Page 264 of 1871

looming in her eyes when she recalled all the recent
encounters she had had with her parents. She was so
unpleasant towards them that it was starting to ache.
Mam’Regina noticed and quickly took her hand.
Regina: “Don’t you break down Gugu. Not right now.

Stay strong okay?”
Gugu nodded and quickly wiped her tears away. She

was not about to give her father’s family the
satisfaction. Once they were seated Deborah was
once again the star of the show.
Deborah: “So? Are you going to do your job now or

what?”
Bongani: (sigh) “Greetings all as you all know we are

here because of what has been stipulated in the will
of the deceased.”
Deborah: (interjecting) “Stop calling him that! He had

a name! His name was David!”
Bongani: “Actually I am talking about both of the

deceased David and Zandile Mokoena.”
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Deborah nearly sunk in her seat. She thought that
Zandile was a measly lawyer who had nothing but she
had a big surprise coming her way. As soon as
Bongani realized he shut her up he began speaking
freely without her interrupting him so often.
Bongani: “I will start with Zandile’s will and it reads as

follows: This is my last will and testament which
should be read and become valid in the event of my
death. I leave my daughter Gugulethu Makeba my
house which I share with my husband David
Mokoena. In the event of my death she should
inherit 50% of all my pension and should both my
husband and I pass away she should inherit 100% of it
all. I leave my mother Regina Moeketsi with all my
funeral policies and life cover. She should be the sole
executor of my estate and in charge of my daughter’s
affairs should I die along with my husband. Gugu
should receive a monthly allowance controlled and
managed by my mother from my employers until she
reaches the age of 18. Her school fees will be paid by
my employers up until she reaches 18 and all her
tuition fees will be covered for any study field of
choice.”
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That was quite a mouthful and Gugu was not
bothered until she saw the amount she was inheriting
on paper.
Bongani: “The pension from her employers as well as

her own retirement annuity fund all amount to what
is written there. If you agree to it all you may sign on
the dotted line.”
Mam’Regina signed gracefully while trying to hide the

tears. Gugu had never seen so many zeros. So far she
was going to inherit around R1.8 million. She
immediately became wide eyed. The love of money is
the root of all evil. Already the Devil was playing in
her mind and telling her what she could be doing with
that money. Deborah could barely hide her
annoyance that Zandile didn’t even leave her
anything.
Deborah: “That’s it? She didn’t leave me anything?

Not a dime? How ungrateful.”
Bongani cleared his throat and continued with the

next part.
Page 267 of 1871

Bongani: “The next one is the last will and testament
of Mr. David Mokoena and it reads as follows; This is
my last will and testament which should be read in
the event of my death. I leave my house which I share
with my darling wife Zandile Mokeona to my one and
only daughter Gugulethu Makeba. Should we both
die she gets to inherit it solely with the guidance of
Mam’Regina. I leave all my pension and funeral
policies for Gugulethu Makeba my daughter.
Mam’Regina shall be solely responsible as her
executor and she should be in charge of the estate
and manage it however she see fit with no
interference of anyone. For my mother and sister
they should get a monthly allowance from my lawyer
until such a time that all three of Deborah’s children
are done with tertiary. All three of Deborah’s children
shall inherit the trust fund that I set up solely for them
which they will only be able to access once they reach
21. Should they die before then the money will be
forfeited and go to Gugu instead. All their fees will be
covered and they shall be afforded an opportunity to
study at an institution of their choice.”
Page 268 of 1871

It was bad enough that Gugu was already wide-eyed
when she saw the amount her mother had left her.
When she saw the amount that David left her she
nearly toppled off that chair. Just before Regina
signed Deborah grabbed that contract and read it
herself.
Deborah: (angrily) “This is ridiculous! How can my

brother trust this woman with his money?! I am his
sister! They are not even blood! Neither of them
are!”
Bongani: (calmly) “Deborah if you please would bring

back that contract. I don’t want you to forfeit the little
that is left to you now would you?”
When she saw the amount that was stipulated she

started wailing.
Deborah: (crying) “How dare he do this to me?! After

all I have done for him?! I mean we are his family! I
guess it is true what people say Regina wa loya (you’re
a witch)! I hope you suffer a painful death just like
your measly father!”
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David’s mother didn’t say a word hence Regina wasn’t
so sure what to make of her reaction. She had been
mum ever since the news of the funeral. She just
stood up and walked out and Deborah made an entire
scene regarding that.
Deborah: “Do you see what you have done now?!

You have angered her! Should she die I need you to
know that it is on you!”
She stormed out of there with the rest of the

remaining family members. They had no words and
left with their tails in between their legs. It was finally
just Bongani and Mam’Regina as well as Gugu.
Bongani: “It’s okay Mama. I know exactly how you

feel. I deal with such on a daily basis. She is just one
ungrateful woman. He has taken care of her children
from birth and even in death yet she still has the
audacity to behave like that.”
He comforted Mam’Regina by holding her hand.

Tears fled her eyes as she could finally mourn the
entire situation while Gugu was reading the contract
amused.
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Bongani: “May I have that please?”
Gugu came back to her senses quickly and watched

Mam’Regina sign on the dotted line. One hefty
inheritance of R2.8 million which obviously will have
matured by the age of 21. She felt like an immediate
millionaire. Her hangover suddenly disappeared
without any drastic measures. At times all it takes for
someone to feel better is the sight of a dozen zeros.
Mam’Regina signed the contract and Bongani handed
her the house keys.
Bongani: “I will be in touch. Call me whenever you

need me.”
She nodded in thanks as he left. Gugu was trying so

hard not to smile.
Mam’Regina: “I was thinking we could spend the

night here and slowly start fixing the house and
getting it ready for the funeral. What do you think?”
Gugu was in her own world and didn’t hear her

grandmother.
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Regina: “Gugu?”
Gugu: “Hmm? Oh yes I agree with you Koko (granny).

Whatever you say.”
Regina: “Are you alright?”
Gugu: “Yes I am. In fact I am feeling quite hungry.”
Regina: (sigh) “I’ll make you something to eat.”
Gugu: “No need for that. I am thinking some

takeaways. Why don’t I order us something from
Uber eats?”
Regina: (nodding) “Okay. I don’t know how that works

though.”
Gugu: “It’s easy I can do that for us. All I need is your
card and the card details.”
Regina nodded and gave her the bank card. Little did
she know what Gugu had in mind.
Page 272 of 1871

Gugu: “Oh I also need your phone. I don’t have data.”
Mam’Regina handed her the cellphone in oblivion

and went to take a nap. Gugu knew how technology
worked. Instead of doing what she had intended to
which was to order food the Devil planted another
idea in her head. She checked her grandmother’s
bank balance and was astonished at all the amounts
she had claimed that day. They were to assist with
the funeral and daily living since the bread winners
were no longer present but she didn’t see it that way.
She saw enough zeros to have a field trip. She took
her grandmother’s cellphone and bank card and
headed out. She ordered an Uber and went to the
mall. She had the best day she could ever think of at
the mall. She bought herself brand new clothing
items and lots of food she didn’t even need. She had
no friends since Nancy was now gone so she was all
alone and miserable. Instead of learning from her
mistakes she was just creating even bigger ones.
Three hours later she arrived back home with the
frantic Regina.
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Regina: (angrily) “Gugu! I was so worried about you!
Why did you leave without saying goodbye? And why
did you take my phone with you?”
Gugu: “Oh sorry about that. I just needed an outing.”
She had a completely different hairstyle and had make

up on.
Regina: “Are you telling me you went shopping while

you are supposed to be mourning?! Whose money
did you even use?”
Gugu: “It is my money too isn’t it?”
Regina: (shocked) “Gugu you are choosing a very bad

path for yourself. Get your act together before it is
too late.”
Gugu: “You just want to control me. Accept it – my

parents are gone. You are the one who always says
that we need to move on and carry on living.
Weeping and being sad won’t bring them back now
will it?”
Page 274 of 1871

She threw Regina’s phone and bank card on the
couch leaving her flabbergasted. It was the beginning
of hell for poor Mam’Regina. At times even the best
parents raise the worst children. Brats aren’t always
made they are sometimes born.
As said in 1 Corinthians 10:13 – “No temptation has

overtaken you that is not common to man. God is
faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond
your ability but with the temptation he will also
provide the way of escape that you may be able to
endure it.”
Chapter 16
Psalm 23: 1-6 – “A Psalm of David. The Lord is my
shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in
green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He
restores my soul. He leads me in paths of
righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear
no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff
they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in
the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head
with oil; my cup overflows.”
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While Mam’Regina was dying slowly on the inside
Gugu was rapidly evolving into someone completely
different. While she was trying on all her new clothes
and taking pictures in each and every item
Mam’Regina was praying day and night for her
granddaughter’s redemption. Despite all her
desperate interventions God only helps those who
help themselves. Gugu was still drinking in her
bedroom and posting pictures like a supposed
millionaire it was only going to get a log worse than
that. The following morning came and Mam’Regina
woke up early and made breakfast for herself and
Gugu. When she went to wake her up she was rather
disappointed by what she saw. Gugu’s bedroom
smelled like a shebeen with beer bottles everywhere
and all the new clothes scattered all over.
Regina: (sigh) “Gugu. Gugu tsoga (wake up).”
Gugu: (reluctantly) “What is it? I’m still sleeping.”
Regina: “It’s 7am in the morning. You have to go to

school.”
Gugu: “No I don’t.”
Page 276 of 1871

Regina: “I spoke to your Headmaster and she said she
will allow you to go back to school provided you catch
up with all the work you have lost out on.”
Gugu: “I am not going anywhere. I don’t think I ever

want to go back.”
Regina: “What are you saying Gugu? Are you just

going to throw your future away like that?”
Gugu: “I will go back after giving birth. Besides how

will they allow me back if I’m pregnant? I will be
expelled in any case. It is bad publicity for their
school.”
Regina: “All I am asking is that you try at least. I will

explain the situation to her. Just don’t give up yet –
please.”
Gugu: (sigh) “Fine can I just do that after the funeral

at least? I’m still mourning you know.”
Regina: “Okay. You need to be up in an hour. We

have to finalize funeral arrangements.”
Page 277 of 1871

Gugu took her time getting ready and overlapped to
two hours annoying Mam’Regina even further. She
had no words left within her really. After Gugu was
finally dressed as if she was forced to get dressed they
were ready to leave. Once they reached the house
they hardly made it to the door when Deborah
stopped them from coming in.
Deborah: (angrily) “Where do you think you’re

going?”
Regina: “What do you mean? I’m here to discuss the

funeral arrangements of my daughter and son-in-law.”
Deborah: “In case you have forgotten Zandile was a

Mokoena which means we get to arrange everything.”
Regina: “Why are you being like this Debbie? Is it

because of the money?”
Deborah: (chuckling) “Oh please. I have more value

than that you know. You walk around so high and
mighty thinking you are the next best thing since
sliced bread but really you are just a witch – just like
Page 278 of 1871

your father. You don’t belong here – neither of you.
In fact you are not welcome to the funeral either.”
Regina: “You can’t do that. Gugu deserves to bury her

parents.”
Deborah: “If I see you coming here again I will

personally hold you responsible for anything that goes
wrong. I will get a restraining order against you. Now
get out of my house!”
Regina took one good look at her and despite being

so hurt by her behavior and words she still had the
strength to tell her what she thought of her.
Regina: (angrily) “You think that I don’t know the kind

of person you are do you? You think that this entire
time I stayed quiet because I am afraid of you? Well
let me tell you something Deborah Mokoena; you are
nothing but a failure at life itself. You have failed to
keep a married man in your life despite having three
of his children. You failed to even have a career and
now you want to make Gugu’s life miserable. I’ll be
damned if you dare keep us away from the funeral. I
will make sure that the whole world knows the type
Page 279 of 1871

of person you are – be sure of that. The entire world
including your baby daddy will know the real reason
why he and his first wife got divorced. Rest assured.”
Regina was spitting fire leaving Deborah stunned. She

took Gugu by the hand and walked out of that yard
breathing heavily. If anything she was too livid to even
speak. She was trembling so much in the car that her
tears just involuntarily escaped her eyes as she started
the car. Gugu didn’t say a word and remained silent
while Regina drove off. Regina was not about to let
them leave her out of the funeral so she headed
straight to court and got an order against the
Mokoena family. Of course they didn’t have money
lying around to attend to the case so Regina was then
in charge of the funeral. She didn’t want her
daughter and her husband to be buried like paupers
when they were working so hard their entire lives.
She had heard that the Mokoena’s didn’t even have
enough food to cater for the masses. What kind of
funeral would that have been for the hard working
decent couple they were? She took full control and
despite it all Deborah came begging on her knees for
forgiveness but Regina didn’t have any of that. The
funeral was to be held at their house which she
Page 280 of 1871

renovated a little bit to suit the needs of all the
guests. They started pouring daily approaching the
funeral. All their co-workers came to pay their
respects while Gugu’s eyes were wide open
throughout the entire week. She noticed how they
were giving her grandmother condolence money and
made it a point to ask for it immediately after the
funeral. On the day of the funeral so many people
were helping out with the cooking and preparations.
Regina had no family but she was amazed to see just
how many people even from church had come to
assist her. She was truly overwhelmed and Gugu
didn’t make it any easier. She would disappear when
people came to the house and come back around
6pm. The night before when the caskets came to the
house she was nowhere to be found. Regina didn’t
allow a viewing of the bodies since they were burnt
beyond recognition. It was just not appropriate to let
people see them in such a horrific state. Deborah
being the mean aunt made it a point for Regina to
despise her even further. She had gone and told
everyone she possibly could that Gugu was pregnant
and was responsible for the death of their unborn
daughter. Regina remained unphazed. She was not
about to let David’s family ruin everything. The
Page 281 of 1871

morning of the funeral Gugu was hungover much to
the annoyance of Regina. She tried her best not to
show it as people were around.
Regina: “Gugu you’d better get up and bury your

parents with the dignity they deserve.”
Gugu: “I’m not going to the funeral.”
Regina: “Yes you are. In case you have forgotten

you are the reason they are where they are today.”
Gugu: “Wow it didn’t take you too long to start

blaming me Gogo (granny).”
Regina: “I am not doing this with you today. You’d

better get up and get ready to bury your parents. I
will deal with you afterwards.”
She banged the door on her way out of the bedroom

and checked in on everyone else. They finally were
ready to head to the church with the entire
entourage. The mood was of course very saddening –
no funeral has ever been joyous especially in the black
community. Once the caskets were loaded and
Page 282 of 1871

placed in the middle of the church people started
sobbing. A lot of people knew David and his wife and
were very fond of them. Regina was amazed to hear
certain things spoken by others; David helped those
who couldn’t afford decent medical care after hours
at times while Zandile had a lot of Pro Bono work
done for those who couldn’t afford decent legal
counsel. She was really humbled to hear about the
good her daughter had done. They were a match
made in heaven. Deborah was the one sobbing the
loudest most probably because of all the money she
didn’t inherit. Gugu was in pain but wasn’t too sure
why; she was feeling too guilty for what happened on
the other hand she was truly saddened because she
was an orphan and would never get to see the both
of them ever again. She didn’t shed a tear until
David’s best friend stepped up to the podium and
started speaking about something very familiar to
her. “David loved the lord and he appreciated
everything – no matter how small. When he met
Zandile and Gugu he knew that he wanted to make a
wife out of her. He was prepared to wait for her as
long as he could. When Gugu turned 14 he told me
how he wanted her to take his surname before the
new baby was born. He loved the verse from Psalm
Page 283 of 1871

23 ‘The lord is my sheperd’. He knew that wherever
he went the Lord would walk with him. He knew that
He was never lost without Him and knowing that
Zandile is with him right now shows just how much
they truly loved one another. He was never going to
find peace knowing he had left her alone here on this
earth. David my brother rest in eternal peace with
the Lord until we meet again.” Gugu felt a stabbing
pain in her chest when David’s best friend was
speaking. She grabbed the necklace he once gave to
her on her birthday with Psalm 23 engraved on it. She
felt her breathing becoming a little constricted and
rushed out of the church. There was nothing Regina
could do at that point but allow her to grieve at her
own pace and in her own way. She was indeed a lost
and confused 14 year old. When everyone was at the
cemetery it felt like the wound was being opened up
all over again. The weeping and wailing was an awful
lot and Regina finally let go and started crying after
not doing so for an entire week. Gugu didn’t shed
one tear – even during the moment when the caskets
went down the grave. They finished the ceremony
and indeed they were both buried with so much
dignity. Regina could not thank the guests enough
even when they assisted with washing the dishes
Page 284 of 1871

after everyone ate. Gugu was once again nowhere to
be found. Regina let her be but little did she know
where she was. Gugu found herself walking to
Thoriso’s house. She saw his parents at the funeral
and knew that they wouldn’t be home at all. She
tested the gate and found it was unlocked. Seeing
Thoriso’s car parked right inside the yard meant he
was in there. She walked all the way to his room and
knocked sternly on his door for a few seconds. When
he opened the door he was a bit annoyed but once
she started crying he felt sorry for her and hugged
her.
Thoriso: “Hey it’s okay. I don’t know what you’re

going through but it is really okay.”
She sobbed in his warm chest for a few minutes until

he let her in. He brought her some water to drink
while she was sitting on his couch. After she
managed to calm down he finally attacked the issue
that has been looming between them.
Thoriso: “Forgive me for asking but are you still

pregnant?”
Page 285 of 1871

Gugu: “Yes why would you even ask me that?”
Thoriso: “Because Gugu people have been seeing you

drinking and smoking. Don’t think they don’t talk you
know. Besides my parents asked me if it’s even mine.”
Gugu: (hopeful) “What did you tell them?”
Thoriso: “Exactly what I told you – that it’s not mine

and I want nothing to be a part of it.”
Gugu: (angrily) “Have you no shame though Thoriso?

I mean really? You took my virginity and I mean it’s
yours – it has to be.”
Thoriso: “I am not so sure of that and I made it very

clear to you that I don’t want children. I’m only 19
Gugu. I still stand by what I told you.”
Gugu became so angered that she slapped him.
Gugu: (angrily) “You just wanted to use me didn’t

you?!”
Page 286 of 1871

Thoriso: “Gugu I was fine with being just friends with
you. You came onto me remember?”
Gugu: “You’re blaming me?! Really?!”
Thoriso: “I think it’s best you leave before my parents

come back and get the wrong idea.”
Gugu got up angrily and stormed out of there. Just as

she was preparing to storm out of the yard his parents
were walking into the yard. She was an angry and
impulsive teenager with a score to settle. Instead of
greeting his parents respectfully she chose to do the
total opposite.
Gugu: (angrily) “If you two had raised your son right
he would know that taking responsibility for his mess
is the right thing to do. He refuses to acknowledge
that he impregnated me and I surely hope that he
doesn’t live to regret it one day!”
With that said she walked away leaving both Thoriso’s

parents beyond shocked. Their son kept becoming a
disappointment in their eyes but that didn’t motivate
him to own up to being the father of that child. That
Page 287 of 1871

child was rejected by both potential fathers and its
own mother was increasingly rejecting it daily hoping
that she would lose it before it even became a life.
Sadly for her God’s plan was not aligning with hers.
As said in Proverbs 19:21; “Many are the plans in the

mind of a man but it is the purpose of the Lord that
will stand.”
Chapter 17
Psalm 33:11 – “The counsel of the Lord stands forever
the plans of his heart to all generations.”
Days became weeks and eventually months by the

time Gugu was about 5 months pregnant she started
showing. Thoriso wanted nothing to do with her and
swore to his parents that should they force him to
own up to a child he wasn’t even sure was his – he
would never forgive them. Karabo and his parents
moved away from Benoni. They sold the house soon
after the accident. The family was never the same
again after Nancy’s death and of course he also never
wanted to be a father so he too abandoned that idea.
Regina was doing her level best to be a present parent
in Gugu’s life but even that showed to be unfruitful.
Gugu was drinking daily and acting as if she was going
Page 288 of 1871

to school every morning. When Regina called in one
random morning to check up on what was happening
at school she nearly dropped to the floor when she
was told that Gugu never returned to school and gave
them a transfer letter of which Regina supposedly
signed.
Regina: (shocked) “I didn’t sign any letter ma’am.”
Headmaster: “I can email you the letter if you wish. I

am sorry I had no idea that it was not approved by
you. If I had known I was going to take her to task.”
Regina: “I understand. Is there any way she can be

allowed back?”
Headmaster: “I am afraid not. Let’s face it Ma’am.

Gugu is on the brink of disaster. At this point I don’t
think she is a good fit for our school. She forged your
signature and lied to me. We don’t associate
ourselves with learners like that. I do hope you find a
suitable school for her though.”
Regina: “I understand. Thank you for your time

ma’am.”
Page 289 of 1871

Headmaster: “My pleasure. Keep well.”
She hung up and within a few minutes she emailed

her a copy of the letter. The signature was so perfect
it really looked like Regina’s signature. She felt her
heart beating out of her chest. If Gugu could forge
such what else was she capable of doing? She waited
for Gugu to return from wherever she was. She tried
dialing her numerously but she wasn’t answering her
phone. It was as if she knew she was in trouble.
Regina waited until she could not wait any more. She
fell asleep and heard the house door open around
2am in the morning. By then she and Gugu were
living in her house so she could keep an eye on her.
She got up and saw a very drunk Gugu stumbling
around in the house.
Regina: “Gugu when are you going to stop all of this

nonsense? You are pregnant for crying out loud!”
Gugu: “I told you I don’t want this baby – since well

you never could have any of yours you might as well
take this child and keep it as yours.”
Page 290 of 1871

She had grown to become disrespectful towards the
one person who actually cared about her.
Regina: (sigh) “Gugu this is not healthy – not even for

me. I can’t deal with you when you’re like this.”
Gugu: “Then you shouldn’t have to. I will move back

into my parents’ house.”
Regina: “You’re only 14. You can’t take care of

yourself. I mean look at you.”
Gugu: “You don’t have to worry about me. I will leave

you in peace.”
Regina: “You are going to be the ruler of your own

demise when you recall this conversation one day.”
Gugu: “No need for that. You’ll make sure that I

receive my monthly allowance straight into my bank
account if you know what’s good for you.”
She stood closer to Mam’Regina in a threatening

manner which alarmed the poor woman. She was
well in her early 60s and there was the little girl she
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helped raise standing up to her and telling her where
to get off. She wasn’t sure if she should have been
crying or feeling very sorry for Gugu. She had no
future – that’s for sure. The least she could have done
was try to change the fate of that unborn child.
Regina went to bed with a very distressed heart. By
morning Gugu was already up and gone without even
saying goodbye to Regina. Her room had been
emptied and she was adamant on going to live in her
parents’ home all alone without supervision. She was
visibly pregnant and a borderline alcoholic who didn’t
have a care in the world. It didn’t take long for
Mam’Regina to hear the rumours going around about
Gugu.
She was having “friends” over every single day and

drinking non-stop. She was making so much noise
and whenever the neighbours complained she would
tell them where to get off. Of course there was
nothing criminal about having parties day and night
but it seemed as if people were afraid of her in the
area. They would go to Mam’Regina countless times
and ask her to assist by at least talking to her but she
told them that she wasn’t responsible for Gugu
anymore. She was about to be a mother herself –
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something she was told numerously that she knew
nothing about. Children can be very ungrateful at
times. Mam’Regina chose to immerse herself in the
work of the Lord by going back to the church and
assisting the same way she had always been. She was
the church counselor and would counsel those in
need twice a week. She was enjoying it no doubt but
that didn’t mean that she wasn’t thinking of Gugu
whenever she could.
Two months later Gugu was about 7 months pregnant
by then. She hadn’t been to visit her grandmother
ever since she moved out and Regina ensured that
her allowance was sent to her bank account as
promised. One odd morning Regina was getting
ready for church but for some odd reason she just felt
a little drained. She felt so tired and weary and was
stalling leaving the house. Her intuition told her that
something was off and so she knelt down and prayed.
Regina: (praying) “Dear Lord I have no idea what lies

in store for me today but I do ask for your divine
intervention. I ask that you protect me and most
importantly protect Gugu and my great-grandchild
Lord. I don’t know why I feel this way but please
show me the way.”
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She got up and took a glass of water and prayed over
it again. Immediately after praying like that she was
shown a vision of Gugu lying on the floor in her
parents’ house in a pool of blood. She panicked
immediately and tried calling her multiple times but
to no avail. By the fifth try she was about to drive off
when the phone was answered.
Regina: “Oh thank goodness you finally answered

your phone Gugu! Are you okay?”
Gugu struggled speaking as she was mumbling words

she couldn’t make out.
Regina: (worried) “Hang on tight I am coming.”
While she drove there she called the ambulance.

When she arrived at the house the paramedics had
also arrived. They were struggling to get into the
house as even the butler gate was locked. Thankfully
Regina had another set of house keys made for
herself in case of such days. When she walked in she
was indeed frightened to see the very same vision she
saw while praying. Gugu was unconsciously lying on
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the floor in a pool of blood that seemed to have been
coming out of her.
Regina: (worried) “Oh God! Please help her! She is

pregnant.”
There were bottles of alcohol lying around

everywhere and the stench was incredibly disturbing.
All Regina could think of was Gugu and the baby’s
safety. The paramedics asked her to stand by while
they tried to get her to stabilize.
Paramedic 1:”She has lost so much blood. She needs

to get to the hospital right away.”
Regina: “Is the baby okay?”
Paramedic 1: “Yes the heartbeat is strong which is

really a miracle considering the amount of alcohol she
had been drinking.”
Regina: “Can you figure out what happened?”
Paramedic 2: “No but she didn’t fall that’s for sure.”
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She was laid onto the stretcher and loaded onto the
ambulance.
Regina: “I will meet you guys there I just forgot my

bag. You surely need all the details of her medical
aid.”
When she rushed back into the bedroom something

told her to check the bathroom and she was quite
stunned to see what Gugu had tried to do. There was
an open bottle of laxative and it was empty. Gugu
drank the entire bottle along with alcohol. Regina’s
heart started beating really fast. “Oh Gugu what have
you done?” she thought to herself. She rushed to the
hospital in an even more frantic state and became
really weary when she was told that Gugu was rushed
straight to theatre.
Nurse: “I’m afraid we had to rush her into theatre

ma’am. Let’s hope and pray she pulls through.”
Regina sat in the waiting area and prayed like she had
never prayed before.
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Regina: “Oh God you have never forsaken me. Why
would you do so now? I know that Gugu has done so
many bad things and perhaps I should not have
forced her to keep the baby but You showed me what
her life would have been like had she chose to kill that
child. Please do not forsake me now – I am begging
you. Please let them both be okay. Zandile your child
is a nightmare but I pray that you never forsake her.
Show her the way please – that’s all I ask.”
Immediately after she was done praying she heard a

voice speaking to her. “Her name is Nombulelo.” She
could not see the person but she knew that it was
one of Gugu’s ancestors. The male voice repeated
itself; “Her name is Nombulelo.” That was all she
needed as reassurance that the baby was okay. When
she asked about Gugu there was no response. She
panicked but as soon as the Nurse came out of
theatre smiling she knew that her prayers were
answered.
Nurse: (smiling) “Good news Mme (ma) both the

mother and baby are fine. She is a healthy 2.3kg baby
girl.”
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Regina: (teary) “Oh thank God! Can I see them?”
Nurse: “The mother is being prepared for her room

but you can see the baby in the Nursery.”
Regina was accompanied by the lovely Nurse and as

soon as she saw the gorgeous baby girl with the tag
“Baby Mokoena” she cried. She was extremely light –
something Gugu wasn’t. Zandile was light sure but
not so white. She tried to look at the features she
could remember from both potential fathers but
seeing as she didn’t even know Karabo she could not
tell who the baby looked like. She looked nothing like
Zandile but only her fingers and toes resembled that
of hers. It was going to be an interesting ride as even
her hair was too smooth to resemble that of her own
mother.
Regina: (teary) “You are one amazing miracle baby

girl. I am naming you Nombulelo it means gratitude.
You are indeed my gift of thanks. I pray and wish
good things upon you and pray that you do not take
the path your own mother has taken. You may have
been rejected by many before you even made your
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arrival but rest assured – I will treat you like the God
you are.”
She was doting around that beautiful baby girl with

Hazel brown eyes and took a few pictures of her.
Once she made her way to Gugu’s room she was
thankful enough to see that she was awake.
Regina: (smiling) “How are you feeling?”
Gugu: “Like a truck ran me over. Why are you here?

Why didn’t you leave me for dead?”
Regina: “What kind of grandmother would I be if I had

done that? Have you seen her? She is gorgeous.
Look.”
She turned away the moment Regina tried to show

her a picture of her daughter.
Regina: “Well I named her Nombulelo.”
Gugu: “I don’t care. I don’t want her near me.”
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Regina: “At least just hold her Gugu. You will see that
your heart will melt and you will have a different idea
once you see her.”
Gugu: “I told you from the very start that I didn’t want
her! Why do you think I did what I did?”
Regina: “That was not going to help you or ease your

conscience Gugu. Come on.”
Gugu: “If you have come here to preach to me then

you are barking up the wrong tree Koko (granny).”
Regina: “Okay then. Is there anything I can get you?”
Gugu: “No I’d like you to leave please.”
Regina was really heartbroken to see how Gugu was

pushing her away. If anything she thought that she
would have a change of heart. Nonetheless the child
was born without any deformities despite Gugu
drinking as much as she was while pregnant. Gugu
was just glad that the load was gone from her body
and she could finally live her life. She was too
comfortable with the fact that Regina was still alive
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and willing to do anything for her. What would
happen should the Lord also remember her?
As said in 1 John 5:4 – “For everyone who has been

born of God overcomes the world. And this is the
victory that has overcome the world—our faith.”
Chapter 18
2 Peter 3:9 – “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his
promise as some count slowness but is patient
toward you not wishing that any should perish but
that all should reach repentance.”
While Mam’Regina was doting over her newborn

great granddaughter Gugu was already on Instagram
checking out what the latest trend was. Regina had
let the hospital and gone shopping for the little one
while Gugu remained unbothered. She was so
excited that she told the Pastor of her new grand baby
and asked him to keep them in his prayers. After an
entire day of shopping she went back to her house
and turned the spare bedroom into the baby’s room.
She bought everything she could possibly need for
Nombulelo. The following morning she was at the
hospital and was told that the baby was ready for
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discharge. She was truly excited and got the baby
dressed and took her to Gugu’s room before she left.
Regina: (knocking) “Hey Gugu. Look who I have with

me.”
The moment Gugu noticed the pink blanket in her

arms she became instantly annoyed.
Gugu: “I told you I don’t want to see her.”
Regina: “I don’t expect you to bond with her

immediately Gugu but you carried her. The least you
can do is just take one look at her.”
Gugu hesitated for a few seconds and remembered

that she was dying to know who the baby looked like.
Her eyes wandered closer to the baby which was a
rather promising sign. Regina slowly walked closer to
Gugu and showed her the baby.
Regina: (smiling) “She’s beautiful isn’t she?”
Gugu asked herself why she was so light since neither

of the potential fathers were that light. When she
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noticed that she had a birth mark on her ankle she
finally knew whom her daddy was and became
instantly regretful that she chose to see her.
Gugu: (looking away) “Get her away from me.”
Regina: “But Gugu she is honestly just a baby. Aren’t

you going to try and at least pump milk for her?
Breast milk is really good for babies you know.”
Gugu: “How would you know? You’ve never had

one.”
Once again she decided to shit on poor Mam’Regina.
Regina: “Okay then. Keep well. I’ll see you soon.”
She picked up the baby bag and left with Nombulelo

in her hands. She had bought the car seat and
everything to get her comfortable. Despite Gugu’s
harsh and undeserving treatment she really enjoyed
seeing that lovely bundle of joy. She took good care
of Baby Nombulelo even though it was a little draining
for the first few days. When the third day came she
decided to go visit Gugu along with her baby only to
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be told that she was already discharged. Gugu never
bothered to tell her grandmother that she was
discharged from the hospital. When she went to
check on her at Zandile’s house she was nowhere to
be seen. The house was at least in the same
condition that Regina left it in – clean and tidy. She
went back to her house and hoped that Gugu would
call her but up to no avail. It didn’t take too long for
the neighbour’s daughter to show Regina what Gugu
was up to. She was already out and about partying
just three days after giving birth and nearly dying.
Regina decided to let her be and put her in her
prayers. There was only so much she could do. All
she did at that point was update her with pictures on
WhatsApp daily of which Gugu didn’t even feel the
need to respond to. Nonetheless Nombulelo had a
great upbringing – something Gugu clearly wasn’t
able to give her. When she turned one Gugu tried to
make amends by at least showing up. Regina had
thoughts of getting Gugu under conservatorship by
the time she turned 18 if she wasn’t prepared to
change her ways. She didn’t even have any complete
high school education and was partying for a living.
She could only imagine what she would have done
with the millions she was set to inherit. Gugu must
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have heard of Regina’s plans hence she tried her best
to behave. She visited her grandmother and
Nombulelo daily and even dropped her off at crèche
and fetched her whenever she could. She still drank
but was hiding it from Regina. All in all she looked as
if she had cleaned up her act. She was even reading
books whenever she could but school was the last
thing on her mind. Little did Regina know that she
was working towards the end goal. On Gugu’s 18th
birthday she was finally considered of legal age. She
woke up very early that morning and by then
Nombulelo was quite fond of her. She bathed the
child and even made her grandmother breakfast in
bed. She was all smiles and Regina just thought that
she was excited because it was her birthday and a
brand new chapter in her life. The entire day was a
breeze for Regina it felt like it was her birthday instead
of Gugu’s. She was the one being spoiled by Gugu
instead of the other way round. She analysed her the
entire day and thought nothing of it. By midday that
day she received a call from Bongani the lawyer.
Regina: “Oh greetings Bongani. How are you?”
Bongani: “I am well Ma how are you doing?”
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Regina: “All is well. What can I do for you?”
Bongani: “Oh I hope I am not interrupting anything at

all but as per agreement I am calling you regarding
Gugu’s estate. As you recall the will clearly stipulated
that everything be handed over to her once she
turned 18 provided you agree that she is fully capable
of controlling her own estate.”
Regina was completely oblivious to the fact that it was

the one phone call Gugu had been expecting.
Regina: “Oh yes. How could I forget such a matter of

importance? Do you need me to come to your
offices?”
Bongani: “Oh no that won’t be necessary. I don’t

want to strain you like that. I can come by if you
wish.”
Regina: “Will that be no trouble for you?”
Bongani: “House calls are part of my job Ma. Don’t

you worry – I’ll be there in an hour.”
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Regina: “Alright then. See you then.”
She hung up and Gugu waited a few seconds before

asking. She acted like she didn’t want to know who it
was but she was dying to know.
Gugu: “Who was that?”
Regina: “Oh that’s the lawyer. He is coming by with

some documents regarding your estate.”
Gugu: “Oh I see.”
Regina: “Are you ready to take control of such a big

amount of money? It comes with great responsibility
you know.”
Gugu: “I am ready Koko (granny). I mean I am 18

after all.”
Regina: “Okay. As long as you ensure that Nombu is

well taken care of.”
Gugu: “I hear you Gogo (granny).”
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Within the hour Bongani made it as expected while
Gugu was trying so hard to hide her excitement.
Bongani greeted and explained everything in
immersed detail before allowing the both of them to
sign the documents. The money had matured quite
well and Gugu was set to inherit millions from both of
her parents. Once she signed on the dotted line she
could not help but ask the burning question.
Gugu: “So when is the money expected to reflect in

my bank account? I mean so that I can start making
plans for investment and all that you know.”
Bongani: “Within two hours you’ll receive the

payments.”
Gugu: (nodding) “Alright then. Much appreciated sir.”
Bongani: “Any time. You both take care now.”
He said his goodbyes while Gugu remained quiet.
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Regina: “It’s your 18th birthday. You don’t have to
stay here with an old woman like me. Go out and
have some fun with your friends.”
Gugu: “Oh Koko (granny). I don’t want to leave you

alone.”
Regina: “I am not alone I have Nombu here with me.

Now go.”
That was exactly what Gugu needed – to be set free

without even asking.
Gugu: “Okay then. Thank you grandma. I promise I

will be back before you know it.”
Regina: “As long as you are safe okay?”
Gugu agreed and kissed them both goodbye. She

requested an Uber and off she went. She hardly had
any friends like she once had with Nancy so she had
acquaintances she would meet up with whenever she
wanted to go out and party. She didn’t really have
much on her except her monthly allowance. She
decided to go to Cotton on and buy a few items but
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once she approached the till she was startled to see
countless messages from the bank. The last time she
saw so many zeros was when she was 14. It didn’t
ponder her mind that it was the money her parents
had saved up for her to be set up for life. Something
within her instantly became alive. She threw the
clothes on the counter and left immediately. She was
not about to shop at Cotton On with all those zeros in
her bank account. She immediately took an Uber to
the golden city – Sandton. She went into every shop
she had never visited and bought all the items she
never thought she could ever own; from Louis Vuitton
to Gucci. She ensured that she took anything and
everything she possibly could. She had to ensure that
she looked and smelled like money. She even
changed her hairstyle and got a new wig installed.
She bought a few more and was treated like royalty.
People can always see when you have money. She
was young rich and impulsive at that stage. She
booked herself into a nearby hotel and got ready. She
invited all the people on her Instagram via a live video
to an all exclusive and all expenses paid birthday party
at one of the posh Sandton night clubs. She knew no
one in Sandton but of course money talks. By that
evening she had booked out the entire night club and
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all her Instagram friends had made it there. Money
was no issue and she was drinking all sorts of bottles
she had only seen on tv. People who never had to
work for a single dime will spend it like it’s nothing.
Once again Gugu proved to be nothing but a true
failure. She had a poor lapse in judgment and was
back to being a party animal. She invested her time
and money into people who didn’t have her interests
at heart. It was the beginning of a new era.
Psalm 37:23 – “The steps of a man are established by

the Lord when he delights in his
way.”
Chapter 19
Luke 23:34 - “Father forgive them because they don’t
know what they’re doing.”
Gugu spent money like no other person completely

forgetting all over again about Mam’Regina and her
daughter. Of course it took its toll on Regina but she
gave it her all to give Nombulelo the best childhood
there ever was to give. Nombulelo was well taken
care of and went to the best school money could buy.
She lacked absolutely nothing and Regina ensured
that her love was overflowing so that she couldn’t feel
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the void of a mother’s presence. Regina stopped
listening to all the gossip and stories about her
granddaughter as it would do her no good. She had
not seen Gugu in ages ever since her 18th birthday
and it was starting to do her good until one particular
day she was minding her own business as she went
out shopping with Nombulelo. It was Nombulelo’s
5th birthday that day. Much like any other child she
was ecstatic to be taken out by her grandmother. She
had a few friends from school that she was very fond
of and she was eloquently spoken for a child that age.
Nombulelo: “Mommy what are you buying me

today?”
She called Regina mommy for obvious reasons.
Regina: “Well you did say you wanted a Frozen

birthday party so that is what you’ll get. I am just
getting you the perfect dress.”
Nombulelo: (excitedly) “I can’t wait to show

Botshelo! She had a Moana inspired birthday party
so I have to up my game.”
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Regina chuckled as she listened to her little girl speak
endlessly. She could talk non-stop if she wanted to
but Regina didn’t mind at all. Something in her told
her that the entire day wouldn’t end well and she
couldn’t seem to shake the feeling. She might have
been getting old but she knew what intuition felt like.
She drove back home after the last few touch ups for
Nombulelo’s party. People around the
neighbourhood joined in and a few church ladies as
well. They helped her set up the entire thing. There
was a photo booth for the children and it was as
packed as any other birthday party in the township.
While the festivities were continuing Regina’s worst
nightmare was about to begin. She saw a black
Mercedes SUV parking right at the gate. When she
saw someone she couldn’t really recognize very well
walk out dressed in designer clothing. When she saw
the woman take out a baby from the back seat and
remove her sunglasses she nearly dropped dead onto
the ground.
Gugu: (smiling) “Dumela (Hello) Granny. Did you miss

me?”
Regina: “Gugu… what can I do for you?”
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Gugu: “Hao (goodness) is that the kind of greeting
you should give me when I have brought you your
new great granddaughter?”
Regina: “Don’t you ever learn Gugu? It’s your

daughter’s birthday today.”
Gugu: “I know why do you think I came?”
Regina: “When did you give birth?”
Gugu: “A few days ago. Here. I need a break.”
She handed that baby to Regina like a meaningless

sack of potatoes. She had a small visible stomach that
clearly showed that she was indeed pregnant. The
baby must have been about a week old if not younger
and yet she was walking around like she had given
birth months prior.
Regina: “Where is the father?”
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Gugu: “Ah you know how these bastards are. They
impregnate you and then run away when shit hits the
fan. Apologies for my vulgarity.”
Regina was disappointed to say the least. Gugu

immediately went back to the car and took out a
cooler box. She didn’t seem like she stopped drinking
during that pregnancy either.
Regina: “What’s her name?”
Gugu: “Oh Millicent.”
Regina: “That’s a German name isn’t it?”
Gugu: “Yes I just like the name.”
The child looked nothing African to say the least. She

looked mixed race. Regina knew that the father was
most probably white if not coloured. Nombulelo was
very light but Millicent’s complexion took a whole
different turn. Regina’s entire day got ruined but she
tried her best to allow Nombulelo to enjoy her day.
Gugu just waved at Nombulelo and continued
drinking. Before Regina even knew it Gugu had called
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a dozen friends Regina had no idea even existed.
They looked like slay queens much like Gugu herself.
Her entire persona had completely changed; she was
draped in expensive Peruvian hair with long nails and
incredibly long lashes.
One could tell that all that make up was hiding a really
serious Phuza face. Mam’Regina went into the house
with her church friends as she couldn’t handle the
way Gugu was handling herself along with her
friends. To say she was embarrassed was an
understatement. After a few hours Regina heard no
more noise. When she went outside she found Gugu
and her friends were gone and had left tons of empty
bottles lying around in her yard. She was irritated.
Gugu was truly playing with her grandmother. She
called her to no avail and had to spend the rest of
Nombulelo’s birthday babysitting a baby she had no
knowledge of until that very day. A day turned into a
week and then into a month. Gugu was nowhere to
be seen but her social media was buzzing. Regina
thought to herself that if she had continued to look
after Millicent as well who knew just how many
babies she would have brought home? So she packed
little Millicent’s bags and went to the police station. It
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was not very long until Gugu was met with an
untimely surprise at her doorstep.
She was enjoying her life living off Veuve Cliquot like it
was water without a care in the world when she
heard a stern knock on the door. It actually took her
very long to hear it because of all the noise she was
making with all the music playing. She was with her
so called three friends Martha Nothile and Brenda
who were basically living off Gugu and who were
significantly older than her. They too didn’t have
much education although they did reach Matric
except for Nothile. They at least had jobs though they
weren’t very ideal. They never contributed a single
cent for anything from drinks to food to even outfits
and hair. Whenever you have money you have a lot
of friends out of nowhere all of a sudden but when
you need a true friend – the number decreases
drastically. Nothile was in the kitchen making food
when she heard the distinct and unyielding knock on
the kitchen door. She opened the door
unsuspectingly only to find two police officers
standing right outside.
Nothile: (anxiously) “Can I help you officers?”
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Officer 1: “We are looking for Gugulethu Makeba.
This is her house isn’t it?”
Nothile: (nervously) “Yes yes it is. Uh is she in

trouble?”
Officer 2: (clicking tongue) “Wa di tseba di slay queen

wena (do you know slay queens) Tabane?”
Officer 1: “I used to date one. Never again. Di ya tena

dilo tse (These things are absolutely exhausting). The
questions are for us to ask – not you. Can you call her
for us please.”
Nothile: “Sure…”
She hurried out of the kitchen nervously and went to

call her friend.
Nothile: “Gugu! Friend! There are people for you

outside the door.”
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Gugu: (shouting) “Ke bo mang bona bao (Who on
earth are those people)?! Can’t they see I am busy
living my best life?!”
Nothile: “Uh… It’s the police.”
Gugu: (frowning) “The police?”
Nothile nodded as Gugu confidently went to the

kitchen as if she had done nothing wrong.
Gugu: (smiling assertively) “May I help you officers?”
Officer 1: “Ms. Makeba we were sent here by a social

worker. Your grandmother has laid a charge of child
neglect and endangerment against you. Therefore
you are under arrest – “
Gugu: (shocked) “Wait a minute. A charge? Under

arrest? This must be some kind of mistake.”
Officer 1: “Ma’am we wouldn’t be here if it were a

mistake.”
Gugu: “But I did nothing wrong.”
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Officer 2: “That’s for the court to decide. You are
under arrest for child endangerment and neglect.
Anything you say or do can be held against you in the
court of the law. You have the right to an attorney
and if you cannot afford one one will be appointed to
you by the state.”
She was read her rights as she was being handcuffed.

She was in pure disbelief while her friends were
worried.
Martha: “Oh friend don’t worry! Ben has a lawyer – a

good one at that. I’ll give him a call.”
Brenda: “We’ll look after the house while you’re gone

– don’t you worry about a thing.”
She was whisked away by the police and thrown into

the back of the van. She was completely oblivious to
the repercussions of her actions. In her mind
Mam’Regina did her dirty. She felt betrayed and
arrested unnecessarily. She felt as if her grandmother
was being petty and could not understand the exact
reason for her arrest. While she was debating with
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her inner self the two police officers were having a
blast talking about her.
Officer 2: “Wa tseba wena (you know) Tabane

banyana ba ka jeno ga ba tsebe go ba basadi (these
young girls of today don’t know how to behave like
proper women) man. I mean look at this one; leaving
two kids with her grandmother while she drinks all
damn day. Who will want to marry her?”
Officer 1: “I hear she is quite monied. That’s what you

get for leaving brats with millions. I am not leaving my
kids a dime.”
Gugu: (annoyed) “I can hear you from back here you

know. Aren’t you supposed to be doing your actual
job instead of gossiping about detainees? I have
rights you know.”
Officer 2 : “Wa mo utlwa na (do you hear her)

Tabane?”
Officer 1: “I am not in a rush to go to the station are

you?”
Page 321 of 1871

Officer 2: “Not even close. I do believe we still have a
few rounds to make.”
They deliberately went around the entire

neighbourhood with Gugu in the back because of her
big mouth. Three hours later they arrived at the
station. By then Gugu was tired annoyed and rather
hungry. They took her in and made her wait in one of
the interrogation rooms. She felt like such a criminal
and blamed it all on her grandmother. The social
worker named Beverly came in and greeted her. She
was quite young about 23 if not 24 years of age which
wasn’t much older than Gugu. She felt intimated and
judged; a young girl was her social worker while she
didn’t even have matric behind her name.
Beverly: “Hi my name is Beverly and I am your social

worker.”
She extended her hand for a proper greeting while

Gugu just returned a very filthy attitude. Berverly
wasn’t very long in the game but she had grown
accustomed to such behaviour. It was her job to deal
with troubled young girls.
Page 322 of 1871

Beverly: “Well then let’s get started shall we?”
Gugu: “I don’t see why you are here or why I am here

for the matter.”
Beverly: “I take it your charges were read to you.”
Gugu: “Yes but that’s exactly what I don’t

understand.”
Beverly: “Gugu your mother laid a charge against

you. She says that you left your newborn daughter at
her house and went AWOL.”
Gugu: (chuckling) “That’s not what I did at all. I left

Millicent with her grandmother.”
Beverly: “She says she had no idea that you were even
pregnant and you suddenly reappeared on your
daughter’s birthday with a newborn. Is that true?”
Gugu: “Why do you even ask when you already sound

like you believe her?”
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Beverly: “I am here to get your side of the story. You
do realize that should the charges stick she could take
both your children away from you? What’s even
worse is that they could be taken by the state. Is that
what you want? For your children to be raised in the
welfare system? Surely they deserve a chance to
have the life you can offer them whilst you are still
alive.”
Gugu felt completely judged by Beverly. Everything

she said felt like an attack.
Gugu: (angrily) “It’s not like I don’t care for my

children. I mean Nombulelo goes to the best school
money can buy and Millicent will be well taken care
of. I’ve just been under a lot of stress that’s all. As my
grandmother I thought she would be supportive and
understanding thereof.”
Beverly: “I don’t think you understand her case. She

feels that you are burdening her with what should be
your responsibilities. What will happen when you fall
pregnant again? Are you going to expect her to care
for all of your children? She is not getting any
younger you know.”
Page 324 of 1871

Beverly was working on Gugu’s every nerve. She
detested her without even knowing her. She only
realized then that she could have had the life Beverly
was living at that point but she chose something else.
Though it was not too late for her.
Gugu: “Don’t they teach you all about compassion

and empathy at University? Or did you also study
social work for the money?”
Beverly: (frowning) “I don’t follow.”
Gugu: (scoffing) “You think you’re better than me

don’t you? You are just like all of them; judging me
and looking at me like I am nothing but filth. I do take
care of my kids you know – without the assistance of
their fathers might I add. I have enough money to
buy them the world.”
Beverly: “I did not dispute that Ms. Makeba nor am I

here to judge you for any reason whatsoever. I am
here because those children come first. It is my duty
to attend to any charge made against any parent
regarding children.”
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Gugu: “Clearly my grandmother does not want my
children near her so I will take them in and take care
of them myself – both of them.”
Beverly: “That is not what she wants. She said that

she is perfectly fine with looking after Nombulelo of
which she has done for the past five years however
you will have to take Millicent and care for her
yourself.”
Gugu: “No need. Both my children need their mother

present so I will take them both. What do I need to
do?”
Beverly: “Nothing really. I will speak to your

grandmother and hear what she says. In the mean
time you will need to prove to me and the state that
you are more than capable of taking care of two
children. If your grandmother does not dispute
anything there will be no need to go forth with a
custody battle.”
Gugu: “They are my children anyway and my

responsibility. Do I still need to be processed?”
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Beverly: “Well it all depends if she wants to drop the
charges she has made against you. I will give her a call
and get back to you.”
Gugu nodded without even thanking Beverly for her

patience. While she went out to call Regina Martha
appeared with a very tall and good looking guy
dressed in a suit carrying a suitcase. One could tell
that in that type of environment he was most
definitely a lawyer.
Martha: “Oh thank goodness friend. I hope you didn’t

say anything damaging.”
Gugu: “No who’s this?”
Martha: “Oh this is the lawyer I told you about.”
Gugu: “Okay but I think it is all sorted out. I doubt I

will even need one.”
Lawyer: (clearing throat) “If I may interject right

there. It seems as if your grandmother is in the
process of applying for custody for your first born
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daughter Nombulelo. So according to me – you do
need one.”
Martha was in it for the money and not really to help

out a friend. They could have avoided all of that legal
jargon by just apologizing to Mam’Regina but no – she
went out of her way to find a lawyer for Gugu and a
very expensive one at that.
Gugu: (angrily) “She’s doing what?! That’s not what

Beverly said.”
Lawyer: “Well Beverly is just a social worker who

needs to get her ducks in a row. I am a lawyer and I
have been doing this for very long. My contact at the
family court has alerted me that she filed an
application just this morning after laying a charge
against you.”
Martha: “See? She doesn’t love you – she never did.

If she really did she would be taking care of both your
children as all grannies do. Was there really a need
for her to get you arrested? She has your number so
why didn’t she just call you?”
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Gugu was listening to her friend instead of righting
her wrongs.
Gugu: (nodding) “You’re right. She is just being

spiteful. What do I need to do now?”
Lawyer: “Well first we need to get you a bail hearing

as soon as possible and then oppose her motion. We
will hit her where it hurts the most and use her
favouritsm against her. Millicent is just a newborn and
already she is now thrown into the system. To me
that doesn’t sound like a grandmother who has all
your best interests at heart.”
Gugu: “You’re right. Okay let’s do it.”
Lawyer: “Before we proceed we need to speak about

my rates. I charge R5000 per hour and R10 000 for
every court appearance.”
It didn’t seem like much to Gugu. She was used to

being a big spender.
Gugu: “Fine. I can deal with that.”
Page 329 of 1871

She signed the agreement with the lawyer and within
an hour she was out on bail.
Officer 1: “Leaving us already? Go monate go ba le

tshelete ya mama le papa neh (It must be nice having
your mommy and daddy’s money hey?”
She signed the release documents without saying a

further word to him.
Officer 1: “See you soon girlie.”
She walked out of there annoyed while Martha was

right there with the lawyer prepared to take her
home. She at least had her licence though Martha
had gone to pick her up in her Mercedes.
Martha: “Oh thank goodness you are out of that hell

hole. I mean can you image what your followers
would think if they heard of this?”
Gugu: “They are the least of my worries right now

Martha. I need to teach my grandmother a real
lesson. She won’t know what hit her once I am done
with her.”
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Martha: “That’s the spirit babe. We should celebrate
you being out of jail. How about a few drinks?”
Gugu: “Later. I have to clean up the house and make

sure everything is set up for the social worker. I need
to look like the ideal mother. My children cannot
suffer while their mother is a millionaire hey.”
Martha: “You’re right. I applaud you you know. It

takes real guts to fight for your children.”
Little did Gugu know she was applying for further

damage in those childrens’ lives. She was nowhere
near ready to be a mother but she was adamant on
teaching Regina a “lesson”. The Devil was having an
absolute field trip based on Gugu’s horrible choices
and she was totally heedless. As they say; you do one
thing to show someone the right path in life and they
forget all the good you have done for them. Gugu’s
new lawyer was a shark in court known by most and
he apparently gave Gugu a very “affordable” deal.
Martha was there to reap the benefits of being the
middle man. Gugu had gone home to clean the
house and asked her friends to give her space. She
Page 331 of 1871

cleaned every inch of that house and got rid of all the
liquor and all possible evidence thereof. It was as if
she had a feeling that Beverly would call.
Gugu: “Hello.”
Beverly: “Good day Gugu it’s Beverly speaking – the

social worker. How are you doing?”
Gugu: “I don’t know how to answer that question.

How would you feel if your own grandmother got you
arrested?”
Beverly: “Hmm I see. The reason for my call is to let

you know that your lawyer has managed to speed
things up. How he did that I have no idea but anyway
your court date is in a week’s time. Therefore I need
to come and inspect your home to see if all is in order
since you filed a motion of full custody against your
grandmother.”
Gugu: “Oh okay. You can come any day – even today.”
Beverly: “I’d rather not come today. I will let you

know when I will be coming. See you soon.”
Page 332 of 1871

Beverly hung up before Gugu could even spin her
own story. It was as clear as daylight that Beverly
didn’t buy Gugu’s act one bit. While Gugu was in her
own little bubble Beverly decided to go and visit
Regina. She was already cooking with Nombulelo
sitting in the kitchen with her and keeping her
company.
Beverly: (knocking) “Knock-knock.”
Regina: (smiling) “Hello please do come in.”
Beverly: “Oh if I had known that you were cooking I

wouldn’t have disturbed.”
Regina: “Nonsense child. You are not interrupting me

at all. Please do sit.”
She offered Beverly a beverage which she gladly

accepted. After cooking she shared a meal with
Beverly and ended up telling her her entire life story
as well as what she had been through with Gugu.
Beverly was used to such story and had heard even
more gruesome ones but it still didn’t change the fact
that Gugu was instilling pain in her grandmother.
Page 333 of 1871

Beverly: “I am not quite sure if you know why I am
here.”
Regina: (shaking head) “Not really. I assumed this is

just a visit to see if I will be a fit parent to Nombu of
which I have been for the last 5 years.”
Beverly: (nodding) “I get that believe me I do but the

court doesn’t work like that unfortunately. The law is
so unfair and despite all you have done you still need
to prove that you can be a good parent to her.”
Regina: (nodding) “I understand. It is what it is.”
Beverly: “There is another reason for my visit

however. Gugu has applied for full custody of
Nombulelo and has told her lawyer and me that she
will take care of both her children. She wants them
both in her care.”
Regina could feel the sudden onset of a migraine.
Regina: (angrily) “Hmm clearly the Devil is using her.

She is deliberately doing this to spite me. You know I
Page 334 of 1871

don’t have anything against that poor little girl she just
gave birth to but if I hadn’t done that she will keep
having children and dumping them on me. What kind
of quality life will those children have? What kind of
quality of life will I have if I never get to live my own
life? I am not getting any younger you know.”
Beverly: “I understand you fully Mme (ma). I really

do.”
Regina: “Does she stand a chance? I mean this child

doesn’t even relate to her. She doesn’t know her own
child. She is not consistent.”
Beverly: “I am afraid it is ultimately up to the court to

decide. I will do whatever I can to be in your corner
but in such cases one can never predict what will
happen.”
Regina: (teary) “I am going to lose my baby girl. I can

feel it.”
Tears started rolling down her cheeks as Beverly

sympathized with her and held her hand.
Page 335 of 1871

Beverly: “It will all be alright. Just trust in God. He
doesn’t make mistakes.”
Regina: “I am afraid this time He will make mistakes.”
For the very first time in her life she felt like God didn’t
have her back. She truly felt like she was fighting a
losing battle. She knew what was going to happen
and as she sat there crying with Beverly she saw a
vision of Nombulelo being taken away from her. Gugu
was digging one big hole for herself and also hurting
Mam’Regina in the process. It was going to get ugly
and we all know that ugly produces results far from
the best. It felt like a road toward an absolute win for
Gugu but she had no idea that she was slowly killing
the one guardian angel she had left on planet earth.
As said in Job 4:8 – “As I have seen those who plow

iniquity and sow trouble reap the same.”
Chapter 20
Psalm 7:16 – “The trouble they cause recoils on them;
their violence comes down on their own heads”.
While Mam’Regina was slowly heading towards

depression Gugu was starting to enjoy the vision of
Page 336 of 1871

seeing her suffer. All seemed to have been going
according to plan in her life but little did she know
what God had in store for her. Beverly came for
inspection at Gugu’s house to find she had every kind
of edible there was and all kinds of refreshments.
Beverly still remained unimpressed because she knew
whom she was dealing with. On the surface it looked
like the perfect environment to raise a child but
Beverly’s own investigation of Gugu could hold some
grounds in court. Her friends also couldn’t lie through
their teeth about her. She had no idea that they were
interviewed separately and that one of them told her
everything about Gugu. While Beverly was analyzing
everything in the house she couldn’t help but try to
match whatever Gugu was telling her with her vexing
conversation with Brenda one of Gugu’s supposed
friends. “Gugu is not the woman she thinks she is you
know. I mean sure she has money and all but I can’t
help but think that she has daddy issues or something
you know? If she already has two kids by the age of
19 where will she be at 30? I mean I remember how
she just stayed quiet about her pregnancy and went
off to Europe with some married man. We were all
shocked to receive texts from her that she was in
hospital and had given birth. I mean who goes on
Page 337 of 1871

vacation with a rich white mogul and comes back with
a baby? She has no goals if you ask me. This is off the
record right?” She could not get over her startling
giggle at the end of every confession she had made
about Gugu. If anything Beverly felt rather sad for
Gugu. She was just in way over her head clearly.
Gugu: (nervously) “As you can see the house is big

enough to accommodate them both. I mean they will
each have their own bedroom and they have enough
toys to last them a life time.”
Beverly nodded occasionally.
Gugu: “I know what you must have heard about me

but I don’t drink that much even.”
With every sentence she let out she was shooting

herself in the foot. “Gugu is a heavy drinker. I mean if
anything I feel like she just enjoys testing God. Even
with Nombu she was drinking up until she had to
have an emergency C-section. How her children are
born without any abnormalities beats me. She must
really be God’s favourite shame.” Brenda just
continued smearing her friend without shame. She
Page 338 of 1871

was just a talker and Beverly didn’t even have to
promise her anything to get all of that out of her.
Beverly: “If I may ask where are the children’s

fathers?”
Gugu: (nervously) “Oh uh they are not in the picture.”
Beverly: “Miss Makeba I will need you to be

completely transparent with me. Anything can be
thrown your way in court and if you want your
children you will have to be honest.”
Gugu: (sigh) “Nombulelo’s father is… He wanted

nothing to do with her from the moment I found out I
was pregnant with her. Millicent’s father is… married.
It’s not my proudest moment but hey life happens
right? At least I didn’t abort her.”
She gave a brief uncomfortable chuckle and Beverly

was reminded by yet another piece of her
conversation with Brenda. “She claims she doesn’t
believe in abortion now because of her granny but
when she was 7 months pregnant with Nombulelo
she was found unconscious in a pool of blood all after
Page 339 of 1871

ingesting an entire bottle of laxative with countless
bottles of alcohol. I mean call me crazy but I’d rather
she have aborted the child. The future looks bleak
you know. She is going to have an entire fruit basket
of children. Who wants mixed veggies in this day and
age?”
Beverly: “I see. So do you have a job maybe?

Something tangible to be used in court and portray
you as a good mother?”
Gugu: (chuckling) “No why work when you have so

much money like me?”
Beverly: “I see. Will it last forever though?”
Gugu: “No of course not but it’s not like I am spending

it like I am mad. Relax you won’t see me on I blew it.”
She let out yet another brief chuckle. “Gugu spends

money like crazy I mean I don’t mind. I benefit a lot
from her spending tendencies but once can’t help
where she will be in five years’ time you know? Last
time we went on vacation to Cape Town on an all
expenses paid trip. We didn’t spend a dime on
Page 340 of 1871

clothes food booze – you name it. We went out to a
night club and guys were all over us she felt
disrespected that they were suddenly buying us
booze and didn’t want to get outshined so she bought
all the most expensive bottles one could find in there.
We didn’t even get to drink them all. Who spends
R20k on alcohol?”
Beverly: “Alright then. I think I have seen enough.”
Gugu: “Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?”
Beverly: “No thank you. I am okay.”
Gugu: “Alright then. I will see you in court.”
Beverly: “Forgive me for being weird but you haven’t

asked anything regarding Millicent. I thought that by
now you’d be curious as to where she is and if she is
okay.”
Gugu: “Oh it’s not that I don’t want to ask. I mean I

thought that I wasn’t allowed to see her as yet.”
Page 341 of 1871

Beverly: “You can see her. I can make arrangements
for that if you wish.”
Gugu: “Maybe tomorrow. I really want to get all my

ducks in a row and prepare for her homecoming.”
Beverly: “Okay then. Goodbye for now.”
Beverly left while Gugu let out a loud sigh as she

started wondering how the visit went. Once Beverly
left she thought there was nothing for her to do at
home so she called her friends and they went out for
a few drinks. A week later it was finally time for the
court proceedings. Mam’Regina had tried to call and
text Gugu prior to the court day but she was blue
ticking her grandmother like some stranger on the
socials. It really hurt Mam’Regina so much that it was
all she could think of. She knew what was coming as
to how Gugu got it right only God knew. The court
proceedings took a weird turn. Despite Beverly
showing all the evidence proving that Gugu was not
fit to be Nombulelo’s mother and that it was fair for
her to remain in her guardian’s care it was finally time
for the court proceedings. Mam’Regina had tried to
call and text Gugu prior to the court day but she was
Page 342 of 1871

blue ticking her grandmother like some stranger on
the socials. It really hurt Mam’Regina so much that it
was all she could think of. She knew what was coming
as to how Gugu got it right only God knew. The court
proceedings took a weird turn. Despite Beverly
showing all the evidence proving that Gugu was not
fit to be Nombulelo’s mother and that it was fair for
her to remain in her guardian’s care the lawyer
somehow persuaded the judge that both children
belonged with their mother – permanently. He also
managed to show the court that Mam’Regina was not
fit to be a mother-figure to Numbulelo given the fact
that she could not treat both siblings equally.
Lawyer: “My Lord given the fact that the grandmother

took the newborn infant to the police station and
involved a social worker it clearly shows that she does
not love the child at all nor does she have any desire
to love her. She is not even the defendant’s biological
grandmother. All I see here is a money hungry
woman thirsty for my client’s inheritance.”
Mam’Regina could feel a heat wave overcoming her

body. Throughout the entire proceedings she was
looking at Gugu unshaken. Her eye contact was very
Page 343 of 1871

stern and she wanted Gugu to take a good look at her
that day. She was being portrayed as the bad person
amongst them all and was not given a chance to at
least get Nombulelo adjusted to living with Gugu
despite her plea. The judge ruled in favour of Gugu
shocking most people in there. The smirk on Gugu’s
face is what Mam’Regina struggled to forget. Once
they were done she was hugging her friends and the
lying lawyer. She walked past Gugu and took one
good look at her before finally giving in to her newly
developed illness. The moment she stepped out of
the court room Beverly could see that she was not
well.
Beverly: “Ma are you alright?”
Regina looked at Beverly with her hands trembling

and struggled to get a word out. She collapsed onto
the ground right there in the middle of the crowd.
Beverly: (shaken) “Oh my goodness! Someone please

call the ambulance!”
Gugu was dumbfounded. She stared at her

grandmother lying on the ground instead of being the
Page 344 of 1871

one to call the ambulance. The ambulance even
came and attended to her while the friends dragged
her away from the scene for a celebratory lunch.
They couldn’t understand why she was acting funny
because it is what she wanted.
Nothile: “Friend why do you look so sour? I mean you

got what you wanted right? Both of your children will
now be in your care.”
Gugu: “Yes I guess so.”
Brenda: “Ag she is just worried that her grandmother

might die. I mean can you imagine now what life will
be like without her in your life? You can’t even go out
to party whenever you feel like it. You can’t even ask
her to babysit. I mean I honestly don’t know what I
would do without my grandmother you know. She
takes good care of my daughter without fail.”
So said the girl who was talking all sorts of rubbish

about her friend. It only dawned on her that very
moment that she messed up big time. Something
within her told her to rush to the hospital and find out
how Regina was dong.
Page 345 of 1871

Gugu: “I have to go. I’ll see you guys later.”
Martha: “Where are you going?”
Gugu: “I have to go see my grandmother. I mean she

just collapsed guys.”
Martha: “What about our bill?”
Gugu: “I’ll transfer you the money. Just send me the

bill via WhatsApp.”
She got into her car and hurried to the hospital. The
last time she was at the very same hospital she had
just done a horrific deed. She felt as if all eyes were
on her yet again.
Gugu: (clearing throat) “Excuse me I am here to see

my grandmother Regina – “
Nurse: (interrupting) “Oh that poor woman. I can’t

believe what happened to her today.”
Gugu: “What happened to her?”
Page 346 of 1871

She was actually fishing for information.
Nurse: “Oh she apparently got her grandchildren

taken away from her by her drunkard granddaughter.
I hope it’s not you is it?”
Gugu: “Oh no. That’s my sister.”
Nurse: “Hmm I thought so. You look too beautiful to

do such to an old woman. She is right down the hall.
Room 6.”
Gugu: “Thank you.”
She walked hastily to Regina’s room and put on her

sunglasses. She felt as if someone might be able to
recognize her and cause a scene. Upon entering she
found Beverly right by Regina’s side. Regina looked so
frail as if she had lost a huge amount of weight in just
a week.
Gugu: “Hi how is she doing?”
Page 347 of 1871

Beverly: (angrily) “I don’t know Gugu why don’t you
ask her yourself?”
Gugu: “Come on Beverly. I didn’t come here to fight.”
Beverly: “That’s funny. It is what you have been doing

all week. You know had you even bothered to at least
answer her texts she wouldn’t be in this bed today.”
Gugu stepped closer and saw Regina hooked on

machines and breathing so poorly. It was such a
painful sight. It was as if Regina was waiting on her to
arrive because the moment she touched her hand
she opened her eyes.
Beverly: “Oh she’s awake! Ma can you hear me? It’s

Beverly.”
She nodded with a faint smile as she looked at

Beverly. When she moved her eyes and looked at
Gugu she frowned immediately and slowly removed
her breathing mask.
Page 348 of 1871

Beverly: “No don’t force yourself to speak. Just get
better. Actually let me go and call the doctor. I’ll be
right back.”
She rushed out and Gugu was left with Regina.
Regina: “I’ve been waiting for this day. I never

thought it would actually come this early in my life.”
Gugu: (teary) “What are you talking about Koko

(granny)? I never meant to hurt you. I am sorry.”
Regina: “Yes sorry you will be indeed. You know I

spent sleepless nights praying for you ever since what
you did to your mother but I have grown to realize
that you will never change. You are who you’re
meant to be and you will always be a failure. My time
on this earth has been cut short by you Gugu. If
anything – you have the spirit of death hovering over
you. I pray that Nombulelo becomes a woman far
different from you. I vow that I will always be present
in her life no matter what. You on the other hand
have brought nothing but curses onto yourself and
your children. May God have mercy on your soul.”
Page 349 of 1871

Gugu: (crying) “I’m sorry Koko (granny). I never
meant for any of this to happen.”
Just like that Regina’s eyes started closing and the

machines were beeping. She was confused and
crying hysterically. When Beverly rushed back to the
room she was stunned to find that Mam’Regina had
lost consciousness. She was a mess and begged the
doctors to do something but even after numerous
attempts to resuscitate her she failed to come back to
life. Beverly was in a state she had never taken a case
so personally. She cried as if she was crying for her
own mother. Just like that Gugu had more blood on
her hands.
As said in Job 4:8 – “As I have seen those who plow

iniquity and sow trouble reap the same”.
Chapter 21
Proverbs 26:27 – “Whoever digs a pit will fall into it
and a stone will come back on him who starts it
rolling.”
The future looked bleak within just a few minutes for

Gugu. She suddenly saw what life would be like
without her grandmother – for good this time. She
Page 350 of 1871

cried until she consoled herself because no one had
time for her. Once she was done crying she stood up
and was about to leave until Beverly stopped her.
Beverly: “Where are you going?”
Gugu: “I am going home.”
Beverly: “And who do you think will take your

children? You are now their sole custodian
remember?”
Gugu: (sigh) “Come on Beverly I just lost my

grandmother. Have a heart.”
Beverly: (shaking head) “There is no time for having a

heart. This is what you wanted. As a mother who has
fought tooth and nail for her children you should be
delighted to be reunited with them.”
Gugu could see that there was no way out. She had
clearly dug one big hole for herself. She never forgot
the day she had to pick up Nombulelo from
Mam’Regina’s house. She was crying hysterically for
her grandmother it was as if she knew that she was
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gone forever. Gugu had no idea how to even relate to
her own child as she just kept offering everything and
everything just to calm her down. Nombulelo cried
for two hours straight causing Gugu to have one
massive headache. It was bad enough with just her
now imagine with an infant in the house as well. The
very same friends were constantly calling her to send
the money for them to pay the bill. They had a bill of
over R8000 that afternoon. She didn’t understand
how that was possible but only because she was not
present with them. She just sent Martha the money
to pay for the bill and switched off her phone. Once
both children were down she finally took it upon
herself to focus on Gugu and no one else. She
checked in on them and saw that they were both
sleeping before heading out. She drove to the bottle
store as she locked them into the house. She bought
four bottles of alcohol and went back to her house.
She started with the first one casually thinking of all
the hardship she had caused her grandmother. By the
second bottle she started crying. She had no one
around her to speak to or vent to and it was just a
nightmare. She started drunk dialing her friends just
to vent but they were obviously too busy spending
her money to even care about how she felt. She had
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a funeral to plan with two children to take care of.
When she recalled what her grandmother had told
her right after she gave birth to Nombulelo it just
made her heart ache even worse. Mam’Regina was
buried respectfully with the help of the pastor and
church members only because they knew what a flop
Gugu was. They didn’t want her funeral to be a
laughing stock and thankfully she had everything
written down to the “T”. She clearly stated on paper
what needed to be done before and on the day of her
funeral and even had a will. Gugu was astounded to
learn that she had left Nombulelo her house and a lot
of money which she had invested when Nombu was
just a baby. Gugu ended up asking the question she
had been dreading.
Gugu: “Where did she get all this money?”
Bongani: “Well her husband left her a huge chunk of

money and she still had some left from the Life cover
your mother had left her.”
Gugu was very proud of what her grandmother did

but she just couldn’t bring it upon herself to even
apologize to her grandmother on the day of the
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funeral. She attended the funeral while drunk and
thankfully one of the church ladies took it upon
herself to look after the children for a while. After the
funeral she learnt that she was on her own.
Whenever she needed friends they were nowhere to
be seen unless it was party time. She had a choice
and could have chosen to grow up but she decided
against it. She hired a nanny who was pretty much
those children’s full time mother. Instead of going to
look for a job she went partying while the nanny was
left with the house. She slept home on most days but
weekends were quite busy. When the nanny started
complaining she increased her salary. Who would
leave when you were fed for free and your salary kept
increasing without any problems? Gugu was drinking
and partying hard and also spending money really
quickly and really fast. She stopped being friends with
those three for a while and went on to seek more
“prominent” friendships. A few months later her
stomach started showing and she was pregnant yet
again. This time she had a real and present boyfriend;
a rich businessman originally from Nairobi Kenya. She
was head over heels and thanks to her nanny
Masabatha her life was kept afloat. For a while she
could save her own money as this man was showering
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her with every need and desire of hers. He was
extremely happy that she was expecting and said that
it was his first child or so she thought. She was then
close to Masabatha a praying woman who was a bit
older than Gugu. She confided in her and allowed her
to give her advice. Millicent was so attached to
Masabatha that she called her Mama. Mam’Regina’s
house had people inside who were renting it and so
the money was being saved for Nombulelo every
single month in a bank account. She was still going to
the best schools and had no trouble whatsoever
coming to academics but she started withdrawing
from social life when her grandmother died. The
most precious person in her entire world was now
gone. Gugu came home one day looking a little
distraught.
Masabatha: “Hao (goodness) Gugu what’s wrong?”
Gugu: (sigh) “You won’t believe it Masabatha. Craig

was supposed to accompany me to our monthly
sonar appointment you know to check the size and
sex of the baby.”
Masabatha: “And?”
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Gugu: “Well he said that he had to fly home as there
was some kind of emergency with his mother. I mean
who does that? It all just seems so dodgy to me.”
Masabatha: “I mean surely you know him by now so

he will be able to explain himself when he comes
back.”
Gugu: “I suppose so. I am just feeling so down.”
Masabatha: “It comes with pregnancy. Is there

anything I can get you?”
Gugu: “No thank you. I will be okay.”
Masabatha: “At least tell me the gender of the baby.”
Gugu: (excitedly) “The doctor said that it’s a boy.”
She screamed out of excitement and pure joy. She

had always wanted a boy and according to Craig a boy
was all he had wished for. Masabatha was happy for
Gugu despite her lifestyle and encouraged her to do
better. She always encouraged her to pray but she
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was not interested. Instead she taught the children to
pray and love God though Gugu had no problem with
that. That evening Craig called and said that a car was
waiting for Gugu just outside as a surprise.
Gugu: “Where am I going?”
Craig: “You will see my love. It’s a nice surprise for

you. You are the mother of my child. I can’t wait to
spoil you rotten.”
She got so excited that she rushed outside without

telling Masabatha that she was leaving. She was met
with a Black Rolls Royce and non-alcholic champagne
inside. He was video calling her the entire time.
Gugu: “Why do I get the feeling you are taking me to

the airport?”
Craig: “Of course baby girl. You are coming to my

motherland Nairobi.”
She was so excited that she started screaming. In her

mind Craig was going to propose and they were going
to be one big happy family.
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Gugu: (excitedly) “I can’t wait to meet your family.”
Craig: “About that…”
That was yet another red flag she was supposed to

take note of but didn’t.
Gugu: “What? What is it?”
Craig: “My parents are not available at the moment.

My father is incredibly ill and it would be so insensitive
to let them know of us and the pregnancy right now. I
don’t want to sound like a kill joy but surely you
understand where I am coming from right enyi
(darling)?”
He occasionally called her “enyi” which means darling

in Igbo language.
Gugu: (sadly) “But you promised me last month

already Craig. Our baby will be born soon and what
will they say if I just appear there with a baby?”
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Craig: “Don’t worry. I’ll sort it out enyi (darling). You
just make sure you are here by tonight. I love you.”
Gugu: “I love you too.”
He hung up and she made it to the airport.

Everything in her mind was making sense. She was
put on a private jet to Nairobi and arrived within 4
hours. A car was already waiting to pick her up from
the airport that evening and took her straight to the
Hilton Hotel in Nairobi. She was in the best suite with
the best room service and everything was just perfect
for her. She tried calling Craig to let her know that she
had arrived but his phone just rang unanswered. An
hour later after trying again his phone was off. She
was left unsettled and nothing she digested seemed
to please her. With every minute that went by she
started getting filled with annoyance. He only arrived
once she was asleep by midnight. She felt a warm kiss
on her cheek with whiskey tained breath.
Gugu: (sleepy) “Craig?”
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Craig: “Yes it’s me my love. I am sorry I kept you
waiting. My father’s illness has taken a turn for the
worst. But what matters most is that I am here now.”
Gugu nodded as he kissed her and they made love as

per usual. The following morning he toured the city
with her and they spent the next week together.
When she came back to South Africa he surprised her
with a pregnancy photoshoot which they did
together. By then Nombulelo was 6 and Millicent was
1 year old. The both of them were not part of the
shoot but Gugu was happy nonetheless. Days later he
surprised her with a baby shower and all three of her
old friends were part of it. Martha Brenda and
Nothile were all there although some of them were
not very pleased to be there.
Craig: “Honey I ordered a gender reveal. I hope

you’re okay with it.”
Gugu: (happily) “Yes of course I am love.”
She already knew that the doctor had confirmed it

was a boy but kept it as a surprise from Craig. When
they popped the balloons and blue power came out
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of them they were both ecstatic. Craig was very
happy that he’d finally have a baby boy while Gugu
felt like her entire life was falling into place. Out of the
blue he knelt down and took out a ring box just as she
was expecting. A beautiful sapphire diamond ring
was put on her finger and she was promised the
world. It never occurred to her that it was a red flag
for him not to include the children despite him saying
that he wanted to give her the world. Both
Nombulelo and Millicent were part of her life so it was
only right for him to include them – of which he did
not. Exactly two weeks later she was relaxing on her
couch and her entire fate was about to change. God
works in mysterious ways and never forgets the pain
instilled in his children. Masabatha brought her some
fruit in a bowl and she felt a few contractions.
Gugu: “Eish (oh) Masabatha. I don’t feel so good

today.”
Masabatha: (frowning) “What’s the matter? Is the

baby okay?”
Gugu: “Yes I think I might be going into labor.”
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Masabatha: (chuckling) “Nonsense your due date is in
two weeks.”
Gugu: “I know but I have been feeling a lot of

contractions lately.”
Masabatha: (frowning) “How often have you been

feeling them?”
Gugu: “Well every hour or so.”
Masabatha: “Aowa wena (no man) you are really in

labor. Gugu those are contractions. Is your hospital
bag packed yet?”
Gugu: “Yes but it is at Craig’s house.”
Masabatha: “Call him. I will ensure the kids are

alright.”
She called him and yet again he wasn’t answering his

phone. After trying him five more times he sent her
an abrupt message stating he was busy with business
and switched off his phone. She started to panic but
thankfully for her Masabatha was there.
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Gugu: “He is not answering his phone. He said that
he is busy with business.”
Masabatha: “I am sure he will call you back. Let us

pray.”
Gugu: (frowning) “Nna (me)? Pray? I don’t do that. I

don’t believe in God – at least not anymore.”
Masabatha: “Hmm you will when shit hits the fan my

dear. Certain situations will ensure that you go back
to God even when you don’t want to.”
Gugu: “My life is perfect Masabatha and here I am

living proof that you don’t need God to succeed.”
Those very words were the start of her demise. While

Craig was not answering his phone and her
contractions were getting worse Masabatha called
the ambulance and she was taken to the hospital. It
was a very difficult labor for her and although she
tried opting for a natural birth again after Millicent
she had to have a C-section after 12 whole hours of
labor. She was beyond exhausted and hardly heard
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the doctors announce the gender of the baby. She
fell asleep right after her operation and was woken up
by Craig’s touch.
Craig: “Hey love. Are you awake?”
Gugu: “I am now. Where is the baby? How is he?”
Craig: “I haven’t seen him yet. I am very excited.

Thank you so much for giving me this gift. I owe you
my life my enyi (darling).”
He gave her a brief kiss on the forehead.
Gugu: “When will I get to see him?”
Craig: “The nurses said they will bring the baby in a

minute to us.”
Both of them were rather surprised to see the baby

wrapped in a pink blanket.
Gugu: (frowning) “Nurse I am sorry but it this my

baby?”
Page 364 of 1871

Nurse: (frowning) “Yes am I missing something here?”
Craig: “Why is my son wrapped in a pink blanket?

Pink is for girls.”
Nurse: “Yes sir. Your baby is a girl. Here is the name

tag.”
While the nurse took the baby out and handed her to
Gugu both her and Craig were horrified.
Gugu: “There must be some kind of mistake. The

doctor said that I was expecting a boy.”
Nurse: “Yes it happens a lot. It was just a mistake I

suppose.”
The nurse gave them a minute as Craig grabbed the

baby from Gugu’s arms and checked her himself.
Indeed it was a girl a girl who looked exactly like him
and even took his dark complexion. She was just a
baby but one could tell that she was going to get
darker as the years went by.
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Craig: (angrily) “You and that doctor of yours fooled
me! I was supposed to have a boy!”
Gugu: “You heard what the nurse said Craig. Why

would I lie to you? Besides it is a healthy baby. So
what if it is not a girl?”
Craig: “What the hell am I supposed to do with more

girls?!”
That was the almighty shocker for Gugu.
Gugu: (shocked) “What do you mean more girls? You

said you didn’t have any children.”
Craig just took one look at Gugu and walked straight

out of that ward. She was left confused and hurt by
the one man she thought was going to be different.
He was there for her throughout the pregnancy but
she couldn’t understand why he was acting the way
he was. She pestered him with phone calls non-stop
for the next three days until a very unfamiliar female
answered the phone.
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Woman: “What the hell are you doing calling my
husband every minute?”
Gugu felt her heart drop to the pit of her stomach.
Gugu: “I’m sorry did you just say your husband?”
Woman: “Yes! Who are you?!”
Gugu: “I am his fiancée. I just gave birth to his

daughter.”
The reaction from that woman was very unexpected.

She laughed out so loud as if Gugu was telling the joke
of the year.
Woman: (laughing) “You young girls don’t learn do

you? You keep spreading your legs for married men.
He won’t marry you. He just wanted a son of which
he will never get. Do yourself a favour and take good
care of that baby girl because you will never see Akin
ever again.”
Gugu: (surprised) “Akin? Who’s Akin now?”
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The woman kept laughing while cursing at Gugu in
Igbo language and ultimately hung up the phone.
Once again Gugu brought yet another life into this
world. A life that would never get to meet her father.
Oddly she didn’t treat this very child like Millicent and
Nombulelo. She was a little extra special to her
therefore she was named Nairobi. Gugu was now a
mother of three girls at the tender age of 20.
As said in James 4:17 – “So whoever knows the right

thing to do and fails to do it for him it is sin.”
Chapter 22

promise as some count slowness but is patient
toward you not wishing that any should perish but
Life slowly spiraled out of control for Gugu. She had

to come back home yet again with a new baby who
was fatherless. No one knew who the father was but
it had become such a norm that people would gossip
about her and say; “she will be giving birth again next
year to yet another fatherless child”. She was just
embarrassing her deceased parents. Everyone kept
Page 368 of 1871

making reference to Mam’Regina and how much of a
disappointment Gugu had become. Nonetheless
Masabatha took good care of the children as if she
were their own mother. Gugu started going back to
her old self again and started partying within a week
after giving birth. She was best friends with the three
girls yet again. She was living her best life with Moët
and Veuve for breakfast. When she turned 21 she
had the biggest 21st Birthday party and when Nairobi
turned 1 she had the biggest and best birthday party
anyone had ever seen in that street. She was treated
like gold while she forgot about the other two.
While Gugu and Millicent were very light Nairobi was

the complete opposite. She was very dark and had
such good skin but obviously everyone couldn’t help
but compare. Gugu was overcompensating for her
father bailing out on her when she was born and for
her looking darker than the others. She gave Nairobi
everything she desired and she became the spoilt one
while the others could feel the rejection. Nombulelo
was growing up very fast and it wasn’t very difficult
for her to see that her mother loved Nairobi more
than her and Millicent. For a change Gugu stopped
having children for a while.
Page 369 of 1871

When Nombulelo turned 8 things started to change
drastically. Gugu’s appearance started to change. She
was repeating clothes more often and started
drinking cheap alcohol. It was very clear that the
money had run out. She sold her Mercedes Benz and
bought a Kia Picanto. Nonetheless what amazed
everyone was that Nairobi stayed in Private school
while Millicent and Nombulelo had to downgrade to a
public school. It was really heartbreaking for
Nombulelo but she was coping unlike Millicent. She
felt like her entire life was falling apart and struggled
to cope at school. She was always getting panic
attacks and throwing tantrums because she failed to
adjust. Ever since then Millicent was always the
needy one.
When Nombulelo was thirteen she was old enough to

see that her mother was a drunkard who cared more
about Nairobi more than anything. She had to let go
of Masabatha since she couldn’t afford her any more.
Despite her agreeing to stay for a lesser amount Gugu
wasn’t having it. She agreed that Nombulelo would
assist her with taking care of Nairobi and Millicent.
She was only thirteen and at the peak of her high
school life. All Gugu did all day was take Nairobi to
Page 370 of 1871

school in the morning while Nombulelo and Millicent
took the school bus. She would chill and drink all day
and fetch Nairobi from school and then go back again
to her friends. Nombulelo was left frustrated which
took its toll on her academics. One time Gugu stuck
to her normal routine and then Nombulelo noticed
Gugu sitting on the couch topless only to stumble
across a huge belly which was probably hidden under
her clothes.
Nombulelo: (shocked) “Mama are you pregnant?”
Gugu: (frowning) “Who are you to ask me that

question Nombulelo?!”
Nombulelo: (angrily) “I swear if that’s the case then

you are on your own. I refuse to take care of your
children while you go around gallivanting!”
Gugu was so furious that she threw a beer bottle at

Nombulelo. It was too late for her to duck and it hit
her face causing her left side to swell up and turn red
immediately.
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Nombulelo: (angrily) “Gwa tshwana (it’s all the same
anyway). The truth hurts.”
Nombulelo stormed out of there angrily while her

mother was cursing all alone. She was found by her
best friend Michelle.
Michelle: “Chomi (friend) o sharp (are you okay)?”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “I am so exhausted chomi

(friend) honestly.”
Michelle: “I feel you. To be honest I never thought

that high school would be so hectic.”
Nombulelo: “I’m not talking about school. I am

talking about that bitch I call my mother. She just
exhausts me you know. Have you ever seen someone
just drain the living life out out of a teenager dude?”
Michelle: “Eish (oh) chomi. I can only imagine what

you’re going through. I mean it is rough but I feel that
God is putting you through a situation that only He
can control. He knows why.”
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Nombulelo: “I told you I don’t believe in God. If He
really existed then why am I going through such hell?”
Michelle: “Chomi (friend) you can’t mock God like

that honestly. It’s a shame you don’t realize just how
blessed you are hey. Some people have it harder.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t care about other people right

now Michelle. My life is just a mess.”
Michelle: “It will get better chomi. Come let me go

buy us some cold drink.”
They took a walk to the nearest spaza shop and

bought something to drink. They sat there and
enjoyed an hour together. After that pep talk
Nombulelo felt a lot better.
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Thanks so much for the

comforting words chomi but it still doesn’t change my
situation.”
Michelle: “One day I am going to teach you how to

pray. You’ll see Lelo.”
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Nombulelo: “Don’t hold your breath. Anyway I have
to go. See you tomorrow.”
Michelle: “Cool.”
They parted ways and she went back home. She

found her mother seated in the very same spot that
she left her in. Only this time Gugu was really upset
with Nombulelo.
Gugu: “It took you long enough. Were you

gallivanting with boys while your mother was waiting
on you?”
Nombulelo: “I was with Michelle. I don’t have time

for boys.”
Gugu: “Oh so you can talk back now?! I asked you to

buy me a beer before you stormed out of here.”
Nombulelo: “Go buy it yourself. You have legs don’t

you?”
Gugu stood up and wanted to beat her up but she

rushed to her bedroom and locked herself in there.
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Her mother was banging on the door while cursing
her own child.
Gugu: (angrily) “You’d better stay in there! No

disrespectful child of mine will ever eat my food!”
Nombulelo was fine with being all alone in her

bedroom. She couldn’t stand being around her
mother in any case and she was the one always
cooking for them. The good thing about her was that
she was just as intelligent as her mother was. From
an early age Mam’Regina could see that she enjoyed
reading and Maths the most so she ensured that she
became exposed to it all at a very young age. She was
the top of her class despite her hot temper. She could
easily beat anyone up just like her mother used to.
She had grown into a rather tall girl with extremely
light features and a chubby structure. She didn’t have
her mother’s hour glass figure which had deteriorated
drastically and people used to make fun of her. So she
used her height and strength to her advantage.
When they saw her in her very first fight people chose
to rather gossip about her instead of confronting her
with bullying tactics. She was always defending
Michelle who on the other hand was much shorter
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and a lot more timid. She indulged in her school work
and by 9pm she had gone to bed. Gugu became
worried as to why Nombulelo didn’t come to eat
dinner. She felt a little bad about her outburst and
begged her to open her door but Nombulelo chose to
remain quiet. She inherited her mother’s stubborn
nature and missed her loving grandmother as well as
Masabatha very much. She went on to have a fruitful
year despite her mother bringing yet another child
from an unknown man – only this time it was a boy.
She favoured him much like Nairobi and he was
named Tshwanelo which means Righteous. Ever since
then she became a dedicated church member. She
valued God like no other and people were quite
shocked she became a dedicated church member.
She valued God like no other and people were quite
shocked but took it as if she had finally learnt her
lesson now that the money was all gone. Tshwanelo
was a beautiful boy but no one knew who the father
was. It was quite strange because he never lacked
any necessities from whenever he was a baby. He
was well dressed and Gugu too had become a little
better looking. She still drank quite a bit but she could
put some make up on and buy new clothes every now
and then. She managed to keep the secret well
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hidden until one unfortunate day when Nombulelo
was then in Grade 10 and got involved in a big fight at
school. Of course one of the “It” girls at school
harassed her and she felt she had had enough. She
beat that girl so badly that two of her front teeth
came out. She enjoyed it but it was a serious offence.
She was immediately given a letter of suspension and
was asked to leave the school premises immediately.
She had always claimed that her mother would never
go to the school of which was true so she was asked
to go home and could only come back once her
mother had gone to the school to attend to the
matter. While she was huffing and puffing and talking
to herself she stormed into the house without
thinking that she would see what she saw. She
paused in shock as she saw what she never thought
she would ever see.
Nombulelo
I am very angry at my headmaster right now. She

knows that Linkie always bothers me at school but
keeps telling me to look the other way. Well fuck
that. I am tired of always turning the other cheek. I
managed to stay out of trouble for two fucking years!
Page 377 of 1871

I mean the last time I actually beat someone up was
back in Grade 8 and I have been a good girl ever
since. Linkie just got on my nerve today. I was
actually getting accustomed to being a good girl and
staying out of trouble until she called my mother a
prostitute who keeps breeding babies for married
men. Who the fuck is she to tell me that shit with her
ugly toes and horrid teeth?! I don’t even think she
realizes that she has a horse face. So I did her a
favour. I knocked out her two front teeth. If anything
she should be thanking me. Everyone else too. We
were getting tired of staring that in the face for 8
hours a day. Okay I might have hit her a little too hard
therefore I was suspended. At least I wasn’t expelled.
But I have to bring my mother to school and we all
know she will never attend to any case of mine.
Nairobi is the only one that is that important to her
and Tshwanelo now that he is the star boy. I just
stormed into the house angrily until I stood right in
the middle of the lounge. The moment my mother
heard the door get shut closed she quickly got up the
couch. I can’t recall ever seeing my mother naked but
that day truly traumatized me.
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Gugu: (shocked) “Nombulelo! What the fuck are you
doing back so early from school?!”
I was too shocked to respond – for the first time I was

born actually. I have always been a talker. My
mother’s naked body was not the traumatizing part. I
was traumatized by seeing the man she was busy
having sex with.
Pastor Chauke: “Gugu how many times must I tell you

not to use such language in front of your children?”
He got up and put his clothes back on casually. Thank

goodness the couch was hiding his penis because I
could never live another day if I had to see his penis.
Gugu: “How can that be your worry right now? She

just saw us.”
Pastor Chauke: “She won’t tell a soul. You won’t now

will you Nombulelo? The Bible says; “Honour your
mother and father”. Do you know which verse that
is?”
I shook my head nervously.
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Pastor Chauke: “Ephesians 6:1-3. I doubt you would
want all this to blow up in shambles now will you? I
make sure that your mother takes good care of you
all. Now all you have to do is return the favour by
keeping a small secret.”
He brushed my cheek slightly and I still remember the

devilish smile he had til this day. I hated men ever
since that day and I hated the Bible with all my heart.
Pastor Chauke: “I’ll see you later Gugu. Don’t call me

tonight. Betty is back from her worship camp.”
With that said he walked out leaving me still stunned

as I stood and stared at my mother. She looked so
nervous. I can’t recall ever seeing her nervous before
then.
Gugu: (nervously) “Uh why are you back so early?”
I handed her the letter without saying a word further.
Gugu: “Oh why were you fighting?”
Page 380 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Linkie called you a prostitute who
breeds children for married men. Why did she call
you that?”
She looked so ashamed and could barely look at me.
Gugu: “Ag you know people talk Lelo. That’s just how
they are.”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Okay.”
Gugu: “So what should I do? Should I go to the school

and speak to your headmaster?”
I was very confused. That was the very first decent

conversation we’d ever had.
Nombulelo: “Yes. That’s what you are supposed to

do.”
Gugu: “Okay then. I’ll go with you first thing in the

morning. Wa go tlwaela Linkie shem (Linkie is very
full of herself shame). A le skobo so (when she is even
so ugly).”
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That was the very first joke my mother told without
being sarcastic to me and I actually laughed.
Gugu: (chuckling) “Tell me though. Did you hit her

pretty good?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Yes I knocked out two of her

front teeth.”
My mother laughed so hard that I could see the back

of her mouth. I could never sit and laugh with my
mother like that. I was so bitter at what she had done
to me that I just never noticed the small things. She
was so beautiful despite all the wrinkles caused by all
that drinking. I couldn’t really see myself in her
though but she was really pretty.
Gugu: “Well I am glad that you know how to stand up

for yourself. I was also like you you know. I was feisty
and I could beat anybody up. Just don’t make it a
habit. I still need you to get a proper education and
make something of yourself. Don’t be like me. I made
some very very bad choices in my life.”
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Nombulelo: (frowning) “Hao (goodness) Mama I
thought you enjoyed making bad choices.”
Gugu: (laughing) “No one enjoys making a mockery of

their own life Nombu – no one. I thought I was on top
of the world and I was spending money like crazy. I
blew millions. It’s not easy facing my past daily you
know. I know I might be a shitty mother to you but I
do love you. One day you will understand when you
have your own children.”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “I don’t want children. I

don’t think I’ll ever have any.”
Gugu: “That view is most probably my fault. I have

forced you to grow up and you didn’t even get a
chance to enjoy your childhood properly. I am very
sorry for doing that to you Nombu. Please find it in
your heart to forgive me.”
I wasn’t too sure if it was Pastor Chauke rubbing off

on her or if God was really doing a number on her. A
part of me felt like she was doing that as part of her
strategy to bribe me but whatever it was – I fell for it.
All I needed was an understanding mother actually I
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just needed a mother. I needed her warmth and her
love. And ever since that day we became the best of
friends. I smiled more and fought less and managed
to open up to her. Sure she forced us all to go to
church every single Sunday without fail and her
relationship with Pastor Chauke continued. It just had
to because he was Tshwanelo’s father. He looked so
much like him and it never dawned on his wife that
my mother was having an affair with her husband.
They seemed happy and I was just keeping their
secret safe. He would come and have dinner with us
every now and then and for a short period of time we
were like one big happy family. When you are Gugu
Makeba nothing lasts.
As said in John 14:15 – “If you love me you will keep

my commandments.”
Chapter 23
Matthew 5:20 – “For I tell you unless your
righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and
Pharisees you will never enter the kingdom of
heaven.”
I learnt throughout those years that there was a big

difference between being righteous and being self-
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righteous. Pastor Chauke became a father figure to
us. Whenever he would come to our house to eat
dinner with us he would bring us all gifts despite us
not being his biological children. I had no idea what
lie he would spin his wife Betty whenever that was
the case but it was nice to see my mother so happy
and engaging with all of us her children. I was 15 at
the time and in Grade 10. I was flourishing
academically with my mother’s support and it was
really nice to see her praise me along with Pastor
Chauke. Every time someone would ask my mother
why he was at our house we’d say that one of us
needed deliverance and they were too afraid of her to
ask too many questions so they believed her. It was
impossible for people to believe that Pastor Chauke
would have an affair – worst of all with someone like
my mother. She was regarded as the lowest of the
lowest in our community. Sundays were church days
and we never missed church for an entire year. I was
force fed the Bible and knew most verses by heart. I
still think til this day that God was quite impressed
with me hence my life was going so well that year. It
all started to go downhill when my mother fell
pregnant again the following year. I didn’t mind her
falling pregnant at all since Pastor Chauke was such a
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loving and involved father but as soon as people
started to assume and feed Betty stories things
started changing bit by bit. I remember overhearing
their conversation that one evening.
Gugu: “Chauke I’m pregnant.”
Pastor Chauke: (excitedly) “That’s the best news ever

Gugu! You are able to fulfil something that my own
wife couldn’t.”
Gugu: “If that is the case then why don’t you leave her
for me? I mean I changed for you. I stopped drinking
a lot and I am more involved in my children’s lives like
you asked. I make sure that I cook for you – even
when I am tired. I support you – always. What is it
about me that won’t make you make an honest
woman out of me?”
I could hear from her breaking voice that she was in

tears. I couldn’t understand why she was even
begging a married pastor. It really broke my heart.
Pastor Chauke: “Gugu come on. We have spoken

about this. I can’t leave Betty – you knew that when
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you fell in love with me. We have a covenant that we
made before God and I can’t destroy that – not now.
Besides I am only with her because of the church.
She means nothing to me.”
Even I knew at that age that he was messing with her.
Gugu: “Sharp then.”
Pastor Chauke: “Come on Gugu. Don’t ruin a good

thing. I promise you I will leave her. You are the
mother of my children. I mean I can’t believe that
God has finally blessed me with all my heart’s
desires.”
I heard him kiss her and I stepped away and

pretended to be busy in the kitchen. He saw me as he
was about to leave and stopped to greet me.
Pastor Chauke: (smiling) “Hello Nombu. How was

school?”
I didn’t like the way he looked at me then. And he

stopped calling me with my full name. His entire
persona made me cringe.
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Nombulelo: “School was fine.”
Pastor Chauke: “Well okay then. May God bless you. I

will see you soon.”
I just nodded but I was thankful that he left. I could

see my mother was in tears and it really broke me but
I tried not to show her.
Gugu: (faint smile) “How was school really?”
Nombulelo: “It was really okay Ma.”
Gugu: (Nodding) “I am going to take a nap. Will you

be okay on your own?”
Nombulelo: “I’m a big girl mom. You just get some

rest.”
She nodded and went to bed. I could tell that she

wasn’t going to sleep and that she was going to cry
herself to death in there. I decided right there and
then that no man would ever play me like that.
Things were a little bumpy for a while; my mother was
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depressed half the time she was pregnant and she
finally gave birth to twins; a girl and a boy later that
year. She suffered from severe stress caused by the
obvious perpetrator who was reeling in the news that
he was now a father to three children. His joy didn’t
last very long because some very nosy nurse must
have spread the news that the infamous Gugu
Makeba had just given birth to twin babies who
belonged to Pastor Chauke. My siblings weren’t even
24 hours old yet. I was happy that there was a new
addition to the family and while Pastor Chauke was
there praying over the children we heard someone
storm into the ward.
Betty: (angrily) “Oh so all along I was right?!”
Pastor Chauke was so shocked and scared. I had

never seen him that scared before. My mother was
too weak and sad to even respond. She just stared
blankly at them both.
Pastor Chauke: “Betty I can explain.”
Betty: “Explain?! Explain what Chauke?! You fathered

three children with this whore and only now you want
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to explain?! Have you no shame in yourself?! A
whole man of God!”
Pastor Chauke: “Please Betty you are causing a scene.

People can hear you. Let’s go talk in private.”
My blood was boiling. Not only was he begging her

but he didn’t stand up for my mother. He allowed her
to insult her like that.
Betty: “You have no business telling me things in

private. I am so ashamed to even call myself your
wife. And you! You think you are the next best thing
since sliced bread don’t you Gugu?! This is what you
do – sell yourself to married men. How do you think
you are going to fend for these bastard children of
yours?! I may not have children but I am far better
than a breeder like you!”
She kept insulting my mother with the most hurtful

insults I had ever heard. With every word she spit out
of her vulgar mouth I could feel my blood pressure
rising. All the while Pastor Chauke was standing
there. When Betty wanted to charge at my mother I
just lost it. One can call it an involuntary reaction but I
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was ready to defend my mother at all costs. I don’t
know when or how it happened but all I recall is
grabbing Betty and throwing her down to the ground.
I just kept throwing punches and the more Pastor
Chauke wanted to get me off her the more I just kept
punching her. She was squealing like a little girl while I
was just punching her for each and every bad word
she said about my mother. She may not have been
perfect but she was my mother. I don’t know when it
happened but I felt someone strongly remove me
from Betty. Her face was so bloodied that I could
hardly see it. She kept shouting and said that she
would get me arrested but I was ready for it. She
wasn’t about to beat my mother who had just given
birth to twins. Not on my watch. Pastor Chauke left
with her while my mother was just in tears. I just sat
there next to her and squeezed her hand. The
following day I remember it all too well. I was at
school writing one of my Semester tests when I could
hear a very unfamiliar voice.
Man: “Good day ma’am. We are looking for a

Nombulelo Makeba. We believe she is in this class.”
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As I looked up I saw two police officers standing
before me. I was used to having all eyes on me so
embarrassment was no longer humiliating for me. All
I could think of was my mother and siblings. If I were
to rot in prison who was going to look after them?
She was still weak from the birth and Millicent was
just too lazy to do anything to assist with looking after
Nairobi and the rest of the children. Before my
teacher could respond as she was looking at me I
stood up and faced my demons.
Nombulelo: “That’s me.”
Police officer 1: “Ma’am we’d like you to come with

us.”
I just nodded and told Michelle to take my bag with

her. The entire class started whispering and gasping
in shock. I knew I would be the talk of the entire
school by break time but that didn’t scare me. In fact
that would make them fear me even more. I stood
before the two officers and handed them my wrists. I
mean I had seen that in movies.
Page 392 of 1871

Police officer 2: (chuckling) “Eh mon (hey man) this
girl seems to be ready for handcuffs.”
Police officer 1: “That won’t be necessary ma’am.

Just walk with us.”
As I walked with them I could already see half the

school standing out of their classes and refusing to
listen to their teachers telling them to get back into
the classes. I didn’t mind; all I thought of while
walking towards the van was Betty. I knew I had to
beat some more sense into her. I wasn’t done with
her – not yet. They put me in the back of the van and
closed the door. They didn’t say a word further to
me. I had seen a movie somewhere that they needed
to read me my rights of which they never did. I just
kept quiet and analyzed the entire situation. I didn’t
want to say anything that would jeopardize my
chances in court. I could hear them laughing and
asking themselves where I got the strength to beat up
a woman as old as Betty worst of all a pastor’s wife.
They seemed to have heard the story and spoke of my
mother as if they knew her. All her life she was
subjected to people talking trash about her but that
was not fair. It wasn’t their place to judge. I still
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remained quiet despite all their questions because I
knew that I had to wait for a lawyer or at least my
mother as my guardian since I was still a minor. They
took me to the station and placed me in one of the
cells already without taking my statement and
without taking my prints. I knew that either the case
was not going to go anywhere or that I’d walk away
scot free. They weren’t following due diligence. It
was my very first time behind bars but I was not
bothered. I looked around and saw women who
looked far worse than my own mother did yet they
called her a prostitute. I was capable of standing up
for myself in case shit hit the fan so was fine. They
tried to torment me since they saw the school
uniform but once I stood up and they realized I was
quite big and tall they stayed away from me. Little did
I know that that was my first and not my last
encounter with a jail cell. I was deep in thought and
school was the last thing on my mind. Minutes
turned into hours and my mother was nowhere to be
seen. I didn’t blame her she had just given birth. I
had no idea what time it was; all I could see was the
reflection of the day becoming a bit dim from the
small window of the cell. While I was just deep in
thought I saw a familiar hand touch me. I looked up
Page 394 of 1871

and saw my frail looking mother. That image pierced
right through my heart and I felt warm tears in my
eyes. I refused to let them roll down.
Gugu: (teary) “Nombu my baby. Are you okay?”
She looked so weak as if she was hardly eating. She

was barely able to walk at that.
Nombulelo: “Mama what are you doing here? You

are supposed to be at home resting. Where are the
twins?”
Gugu: “They are with Millicent. I asked her to stay

with them while I come check on you. Oh my baby.
You really shouldn’t have done that. You should have
let her hit me. I deserve it.”
Nombulelo: “No you don’t. Chauke deserves it – not

you.”
Gugu: “I brought you some food.”
Page 395 of 1871

She had cooked some spaghetti and mince for me. I
was not even thinking of food but I took it to make
her happy.
Gugu: “I spoke to Chauke. He found a lawyer for you.

You are still a minor so you will be out in no time.”
Nombulelo: “You shouldn’t have asked him for

anything Mama. He doesn’t deserve anything from
you – not after what he did.”
Gugu: “I had no choice.”
Nombulelo: “There is always a choice. Leave him.

We can look after ourselves. We don’t need him.”
Gugu: (shaking head) “I need you to go to school and

finish what you have started. You cannot suffer
because of my choices Nombu. I won’t allow you to.”
Her desperation made me so teary. I needed to get

my mother out of that situation. She deserved
happiness peace and love. And Chauke was most
definitely not the epitome of that. She had a lot to
deal with; she gave another woman’s husband three
Page 396 of 1871

children. In turn she had 6 children to raise at the age
of 29. If anything she most probably broke a record
but let he who is without sin cast the first stone. We
never begged them for bread so why was the number
of children my mother had any of their concern?
Nombulelo: “Fine. Let him get the lawyer but I

promise you – I will get you out of this situation.
Believe me I promise.”
She tried not to break down and quickly wiped away

that faint tear from her face.
Nombulelo: “Go home and rest. I am really okay.”
She was hesitant to leave but after a while she agreed

with me. She left and I could finally let the entire
situation sink in but I refused to cry. I spent the entire
night in that cell. So much for Chauke’s help and his
so called brilliant lawyer. The following morning I was
called out by one of the officers who had taken me in
from school.
Police officer 1: “Makeba! Come with me.”
Page 397 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Where am I going?”
He ignored my question until we reached the outside

of the police station.”
Police officer 1: “You’re free to go.”
I was stunned and confused.
Nombulelo: “I don’t understand. Did Betty drop the

charges?”
The police officer took out a R50 note and handed it

to me.
Police Officer 1: “Take this and make sure you stay out
of trouble from now on.”
Once I took it he just turned around and walked

away. I never understood what happened and why he
did what he did until years later. I did as told and got
into a taxi and went home. Upon my arrival I was a
little irritated to find Pastor Chauke playing with the
babies in my mother’s bedroom. All the other
children were gone. They were at school I assumed. I
Page 398 of 1871

could see the relief on my mother’s face that morning
which I never forgot. She gave me a broad smile.
Pastor Chauke: “Oh Nombu. You’re back. I assume

Charles got you out.”
I didn’t even say a word. I just nodded.
Nombulelo: “I need to take a shower. Excuse me.”
I hurried to the bathroom and took a very long

shower. I needed that. I felt brand new and all was
well again. I still couldn’t wrap my head around what
had happened but one thing was for sure – Chauke
didn’t get me out of there. I was sure of it. I couldn’t
prove it but I was sure of it. The officers didn’t read
my rights and didn’t get me into the system. I didn’t
even make it to court. I had no idea what actually
happened but my gut feeling told me that Chauke was
not part of the deal. I was just relieved to be out of
that hell hole. Once I got out I had my towel wrapped
around me when I stumbled into Chauke in the
hallway. I don’t know call me crazy but I felt like he
was literally waiting on me to get out of there. He
stood right in front of me without the necessary
Page 399 of 1871

distance between us. I was slightly taller than him
though but he looked me right in the eye with his
cringe worthy smile.
Pastor Chauke: (smiling) “Hao (goodness) Nombu.

Where are you rushing off to?”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “To my bedroom.”
Pastor Chauke: “Can I join you?”
I knew he didn’t stutter when he looked at me and

was still smiling.
Nombulelo: “Excuse me?”
Pastor Chauke: “Come on Gugu you don’t expect me

to just leave here empty handed do you? I mean I got
you out of that hell hole. The least you can do is pay
me back for saving your life.”
I took a good look at him and stared the devil right in

the eye. He wasn’t kidding. The way he was so
disrespectful he lifted his hand and briefly brushed my
face. I had never been that upset by a man before.
Page 400 of 1871

The moment his filthy hand touched my face I
grabbed his entire arm and twisted it. I ensured that
he turned all the way and faced the wall. The fury in
me made me envision killing him.
Nombulelo: (furious) “So is this what you do? Go

after helpless women who have nowhere to go and
take advantage of them?! You think that just because
you ruined my mother you can ruin me too?!”
He was wincing in pain begging me to let him go but I

didn’t allow myself to. I was so enraged that even his
scent was making me nauseous.
Nombulelo: “Answer me!”
Pastor Chauke: “Please let me go. I didn’t mean to do

what I did. I swear.”
Nombulelo: “Here is what you are going to do; you

are going to support my mother financially until she
gets a job. If you don’t I will tell the entire world that
you raped my sisters and I. Do you understand me?!”
Pastor Chauke: “But I – “
Page 401 of 1871

Nombulelo: (shouting) “Do you understand me?!”
I twisted his arm so hard that I must have truly

dislocated it. I could hear a popping sound from his
shoulder. He screamed out in pain and I actually
enjoyed hearing him scream like that. He deserved
way more than that but I didn’t want to go to jail for
real that time. He cried out and yelled that I broke his
arm so I gave him free medical care and put his arm
back into position. He cried out again and I threw him
onto the floor.
Nombulelo: “Let that be the first and the last time you
ever do such a thing to me or any other girl.”
I kicked him so hard in the crotch and left him right

there. I could hear my mother asking me what
happened but I didn’t respond. Instead I went right
into her bedroom and gave her the biggest smile I
ever could.
Nombulelo: (smiling) “All is well mother. Can I get you

anything?”
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Gugu: “Just some water. Where is Chauke? He said
he was going to come back with so me water for me.
I thought I heard him screaming.”
Nombulelo: “Oh he complained of his ulcers acting up

again so he left.”
Gugu: “Oh alright then.”
Nombulelo: “Get some sleep will you? I will bring you

a glass of water.”
And just like that I learnt that nothing in this world

comes for free. At times you will have to manipulate
the situation to get what you want. Chauke wanted
to take advantage of me but I managed to take
advantage of him. He was not going to get off the
hook that easily. Of course I was not off the hook that
easily. Betty had an old score to settle with me but
my mother was first on her list. Unfortunately so very
often children suffer for the sins of the parents. We
were soon to learn that – the hard way.
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As said in Matthew 5:6 – “Blessed are those who
hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be
satisfied.”
Chapter 24
Numbers 14:18 – “The Lord is slow to anger and
abounding in steadfast love forgiving iniquity and
transgression but he will by no means clear the guilty
visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to
the third and the fourth generation.”
I went back to school as if nothing happened. They

could not exactly expel me since I did nothing wrong –
and it was not even on the school premises. Things
were a bit edgy for my mother; how was she going to
go to church when they all probably knew that she
had children with Chauke? I begged her to leave him
and she looked like she was listening. I even went
online to read up on Post-partum depression and I
sought help for her. Within two weeks she was back
to her old self. She was slowly adjusting to being a
new mom again and was finally enjoying the twins. It
was not the time to hold her choices against her. She
was doing quite well actually. Chauke kept the money
coming as promised and we hadn’t been to church in
a while. I never told her what had happened
Page 404 of 1871

between Chauke and I and it was the best decision I
could have ever made. I was flourishing once again at
school and my siblings were doing just fine. We had a
roof over our head and food to eat daily until it all
changed on one fateful day. I remember clearly that I
was at school when my mom kept calling. We
weren’t allowed to use our phones at school but since
she had called me more than once – I knew it was an
emergency. Mrs. E was busy teaching us and
preparing us for our final exams that year but I just
couldn’t see myself sitting there while my mother was
calling non-stop. I raised my hand and asked her if I
could be excused and that I had an emergency. She
excused me reluctantly. The moment I went to the
girls toilets I called my mom back. My heart nearly
dropped when I heard how frantic she was.
Nombulelo: “Mama is everything okay?”
Gugu: (frantically) “Nombu! They’re gone! They’re all

gone!”
Nombulelo: “What are you talking about? Who’s

gone?”
Page 405 of 1871

Gugu: (crying) “The children. I was shopping with
them and placed them in the car and... And then
when I was offloading the groceries into the car two
men came out of nowhere and held me at
gunpoint…”
She was saying way too many things all at once

making Nombulelo panic even more.
Nombulelo: “Where are you?”
Gugu: “I’m at the police station. The police came and

took me with for a statement.”
Nombulelo: “I’m on my way.”
I had no idea how I was even going to get there since I

had no money on me. It was school time but I
needed to go and assist my mother. Telling Miss E
would have been the long route since she would have
told me that she needed to alert the head master so I
went straight to the headmaster’s office. I found her
PA who was a very rude young lady.
Nombulelo: “Hi may I see the Principal please?”
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PA: “Oh no girlie. Don’t you know that it is class time
and you cannot see the headmaster during – “
I never even let her finish. I asked her simple

question. I mean hell – I even threw in a please there
and she answered me like I was a mere duck walking
on water. I walked right past her as she was trying to
reprimand me. I knocked twice on the headmaster’s
door before letting myself in. Luckily she was all
alone.
PA: “I am so sorry headmaster. I tried stopping her

but she just barged right through here.”
Headmaster: “It’s okay Busi. You may leave.”
She clicked her tongue and closed the door behind

her. I was going to deal with that one some other
day. I had bigger fish to fry.
Headmaster: “Gugu isn’t it?”
Nombulelo: “Nombulelo Ma’am. Gugu is my mother.”
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Headmaster: (nodding) “What can I do for you?”
Nombulelo: “I need to leave. It’s an emergency.”
Headmaster: “You do know that we only allow

parents to come fetch sick learners.”
Nombulelo: “Yes but I am not sick. My siblings were

taken – I think. My mother just called me in a frantic
state. She is at the police station as we speak. You
know I am not one to seek attention Mrs. Atterbury
but my mother needs my assistance as we speak.”
She looked at me and could see that I was really

panicking.
Headmaster: “Very well then Nombulelo. You may go

fetch your bag and leave.”
Nombulelo: “That won’t be necessary ma’am.

Michelle can bring my bag to me after school. I really
appreciate this. You won’t regret it.”
Headmaster: “I’d better not.”
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She gave me the benefit of the doubt of which I was
very grateful for – til this day. I rushed right out and as
the security guards were trying to give me a hard time
I simply said; “Ask your boss – she let me go!” They
knew I was a hothead and I walked right out of the
gate. That was not the hard part. My school was a bit
of a distance from the police station and walking
would have taken forever. I didn’t have a cent on me
and the bus was not going to make a turn around that
area until after school. I had no idea if it was God or
what because I simply didn’t believe in Him but
Thulane drove right passed me that day as I was
preparing myself to walk to the station. He must have
recognized me and reversed his taxi. He was one of
the local boys in my community and his grandmother
was one of the main church members. She was quite
the gossipmonger but was also well respected. And
so Thulane had to act decent on most days.
Thulane: “Ekse (Hey) Lelo. Dintshang kgante (What’s

up)?”
Nombulelo: “Thulane hi. I am on my way to the

police station.”
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Thulane: (chuckling) “Keng (what is it)? Are they
making you sign on a daily basis now?”
Nombulelo: “No my mom is there. I don’t exactly

know what happened – “
Thulane: “Ema pele (wait a minute). I heard a woman

was hijacked and that her children were driven off
with at the mall. Please don’t tell me it’s your mom.”
He was kind enough to open the door for me and

drove off in reasonable speed. I could see that he was
just as worried for me as I was for my mother. He was
silent throughout the entire drive don’t tell me it’s
your mom.”
Him saying that made me increasingly anxious. He

could see with my alarming silence that I had no idea
what he meant.
Thulane: “Get in. I’ll take you there.”
He was silent throughout the entire drive but I could

tell he was there to assist. The moment we got there
Page 410 of 1871

he got out of the taxi with me and I found my
distraught mother sitting on one of the benches.
Nombulelo: “Mama! What happened?”
Gugu: (crying) “I was unpacking my groceries in the

boot and out of nowhere two men wearing balaclavas
came and held me at gunpoint. They demanded my
car keys and once they took them I told them that I
had kids in the car. All I wanted was my children they
just shoved me out of the way and got into the car
and drove off.”
It didn’t make any sense to me.
Nombulelo: “So they just took off with the twins?”
Gugu: (shaking) “No I had Tshwanelo and the twins in

the car.”
At that moment I felt like my entire life was coming to

a standstill. It seemed like the police were doing their
job but we all know what the quality of law
enforcement in this country is like. I stood there blank
Page 411 of 1871

for a second with all sorts of emotions running
through my mind.
Thulane: “Don’t worry Mama. We will find them.

Let’s take you home. The other children need you.”
Gugu: “What if they hear something?”
Thulane: “They will inform you. I will make sure of it.”
My mother was very reluctant to leave with us but

she agreed. Thulane even offered to go get Millicent
and Nairobi from school for safety and once they
were home I went back into the car and sat right next
to him. I didn’t bother changing my uniform.
Thulane: “You should be in there with your mom.”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “No I am going with you.

We need to find those bastards.”
Thulane: “It just doesn’t make sense to me. I mean if

it was just a mere hijacking why take the children and
not their mother too then?”
Page 412 of 1871

Nombulelo: “My thoughts exactly. So? A re you going
to call your friends or what?”
Thulane: “I have already made a few calls. Now we

have to wait for them to le tme know if they saw the
car.”
Nombulelo: “Such things don’t happen in broad

daylight in Benoni man.”
Thulane: “It all seems rather too well-planned.”
I went back into the house to change and made food

to keep busy. I nearly burnt the meat since I was so
absent minded. With every minute that went by I
could feel myself losing hope. Something felt totally
off within my spirit. After cooking I dished up for
everyone as well as Thulane who was relaxing outside
and smoking his cigarette. I could hear him
ocassionally answering his phone and getting
updates. I felt a little bad that he wasn’t doing his job
but was with me instead. I took his plate to him and
he thanked me.
Page 413 of 1871

Thulane: “Hmm wa e kgona pitsa ne (you can really
cook hey)?”
Nombulelo: “I try. What are they saying?”
Thulane: “Some say they spotted the car on the

highway. I mean by now the kids were supposed to
have been found really.”
Nombulelo: “What are you thinking?”
Thulane: “I’m not sure but I have to ask. Does your

mom have any enemies or people who despise her to
that extent?”
Nombulelo: “No I mean…”
And then it hit me. I sat there speechless for a few

seconds as I could feel myself shiver with fear.
Thapelo: “Lelo?”
Nombulelo: (scared) “Oh my goodness Thapelo.

Betty…”
Page 414 of 1871

He was frowning as he looked at me.
Thapelo: “No come on. I mean I know she is a mean

woman but she wouldn’t dare.”
Nombulelo: “Would you let a woman go who bore

three children for your husband? Think about it; all
three of Chauke’s children were in the car. I wasn’t
there and neither were Milli and Nairobi. Oh no the
more I think about it Thapelo.”
I could feel my throat becoming dry and my voice

breaking. Thapelo held my hand. I think he did it
involuntarily I don’t know but I needed someone to
tell me that everything was going to be just fine.
Thapelo: “I will make a few calls about her

whereabouts and let the cops know. The kids will be
fine. She probably did it to scare your mom.”
He made a few calls while I was sitting right there

hoping for some good news. Another few hours
passed and it became dark outside. I started thinking
of how Tshwanelo was feeling being around strangers
Page 415 of 1871

he didn’t know. I must have been so far away in my
mind when Thapelo spoke to me.
Thapelo: “Lelo they found the car.”
I looked at him and just as I was about to get excited I

saw the horrid look on his face.
Nombulelo: “What is it?”
Thapelo looked down and sighed heavily.
Nombulelo: “What is it Thapelo? Tell me!”
Thapelo: “They found the car in a nearby field. It had

been burnt.”
I looked at him and hoped he would at least say what I

was hoping he’d say.
Thapelo: “They found three bodies inside.”
At that point I knew that my mother would never be

the same again. My life changed forever.
Page 416 of 1871

As said in Ezekiel 18:20 – “The soul who sins shall die.
The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father
nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The
righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself
and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon
himself.”
Chapter 25
Proverbs 26:27 – “Whoever digs a pit will fall into it
rolling.”
I felt as if my entire life came crashing down. I wasn’t

too worried about myself. I was so concerned about
my mother. Would she even survive this? I thought to
myself. It took me quite a long while to get back to
my senses.
Nombulelo: “Are you sure that’s what you heard?”
Thapelo: (nodding) “Yes I am 100% sure.”
Nombulelo: “Do they know who did it?”
Page 417 of 1871

Thapelo: (shaking head) “No my contact says that
there were no prints found on the vehicle but they
will keep digging.”
Nombulelo: (swallowing hard) “Are the bodies really

them?”
Thapelo: (nodding) “Yes three children; one toddler

and two infants. They will need your DNA to test if it
is really them. I’m sorry.”
I nodded with a tear falling down my cheek. I wiped it

off and prepared myself.
Nombulelo: “I need to tell my mother.”
Thapelo: “Maybe it is best if the police do it.”
Nombulelo: “No offence but those people have no

knowledge of emotional intelligence. It is their job to
deliver bad news to families of the bereaved but it is
my job to comfort my mother.”
Thapelo: (nodding) “Okay let me come in with you

just in case you guys need anything.”
Page 418 of 1871

I nodded in agreement. Truth be told he was very
supportive and I took him as a big brother. History
was not about to repeat itself well – at least not yet. I
walked into the house and it suddenly felt different. It
is just appalling what bereavement can do to one’s
entire life. It felt so cold in there literally. I looked
around and pictured all the memories we had of
Tshwanelo and the twins keeping our house lively and
busy. Now it was going to be dead cold without
them. Millicent and Nairobi were sitting on the couch
playing with their phones with the news playing on
the TV. It seemed as if they too were expecting the
worst. Millicent knew me way better than Nairobi.
When she saw my face she knew something was off.
Millicent: (anxiously) “Are you alright? What are they

saying? Is there any news?”
Nombulelo: “There is some news. You two need to

join me in Mama’s bedroom.”
It was as if my mother could sense that bad news was

coming her way. Immediately after I said that she
stormed out of her bedroom and rushed towards me.
Page 419 of 1871

Gugu: (frantically) “What’s happening? What are they
saying? Is there any news? Where are my babies?”
Nombulelo: “Mama please sit down.”
Gugu: “No! I won’t sit down. Look.”
She showed me her phone.
Gugu: “People are already posting in the Benoni news

group that a car was found burnt to ashes with bodies
inside. I can’t see clearly but Nombu it looks like my
car.”
She took the phone and showed it to Thapelo.
Gugu: “It looks like my car though doesn’t it

Thapelo?”
She could read the room very well and very quickly.
When she saw the look on both Thapelo and I’s faces
she knew something was definitely wrong.
Page 420 of 1871

Gugu: (crying) “Oh my God! Oh my Lord! It’s my
babies isn’t it? My children are dead! They were
burnt to death and it is all my fault!”
Nombulelo: (teary) “Mama I’m sorry. Please let’s sit.”
Millicent broke down immediately as soon as she

heard me say that to my mother. Nairobi soon
followed as she too started crying. The last time I was
in a room so full of somber moments was when my
dear granny passed on. It felt like death itself in
there. My mother dropped to the floor and wailed. I
couldn’t recall ever seeing her cry like that – not even
when Mam’Regina passed away. Thapelo and I picked
her up and placed her on the couch but she soon fell
off it and wailed on the floor all over again. Tears
were flooding our lounge while I too felt like my
throat was being ripped open. I couldn’t stand the
pain. I wanted to cry so badly but I refused to allow
myself to do that.
Nombulelo: “Thapelo I don’t think you should see

this. Let me walk you out.”
Page 421 of 1871

Thapelo: (shaking head) “It’s okay. There is nothing
embarrassing about grief. I will be here in case you
guys need transport or just someone to be around.”
I nodded in thanks and couldn’t wrap my head

around my three siblings being murdered. It most
definitely had Betty’s name written all over it. She
was a so-called woman of God yet she was capable of
murder. I was sure of it though no one seemed to
know who exactly did it. She clearly wanted my
mother to live with the fact that she lost children for
the rest of her life. She wanted to inflict pain onto my
mother and she got it right this time. My heart ached
seeing my mother break down like that. She was
hopeless and I knew that she would run to the bottle
all over again. The police came to verify what Thapelo
had just told me and my mother cried even louder.
They asked us to go to the station in order for them to
take DNA samples of us to identify if truly the children
were my siblings. Myself and my siblings were going
to work out just fine but my mother was the perfect
person to do that. She didn’t want to go anywhere so
they suggested a swab be done right there and then.
They took a swab of her inner lip and were gone.
They promised that they would keep in touch but we
Page 422 of 1871

all knew that it might have taken a week or even
longer for them to identify those bodies. I couldn’t
stand seeing my mother in pain. I got Thapelo to go
outside with me.
Nombulelo: “Do you need to be somewhere?”
Thapelo: “No what’s up?”
Nombulelo: “Do you mind if we pay someone a visit?”
Thapelo: “If you are thinking of going to Betty please

forget about that. It’s not worth it. You might go to
prison this time.”
Nombulelo: “I just want to hear what she has to say

for herself.”
Thapelo: “No it’s a bad idea. Please Lelo go inside the

house and stay there. You are far too young. Don’t
do things that will jeopardize your future.”
I thought of his words and I knew he was right but

something within me was just boiling. I’d get her to
sing one way or another.
Page 423 of 1871

Nombulelo: (nodding) “Okay. I really appreciate what
you did for us today. You weren’t obliged to but you
did it.”
Thapelo: “That’s what we’re all here for. I will check in

on you guys tomorrow okay?”
I nodded and thanked him. If it weren’t for him to be

honest who knew where I’d have been? I went back
into the house and it was awkwardly silent. My sisters
were most probably in their bedrooms along with my
mother. I too went into my bedroom but I just
couldn’t fall asleep. It was just impossible. I found a
few texts from Michelle asking me if I was okay. I just
told her that I’d text her back later when I was feeling
a lot better. The entire time while I was lying on my
bed I kept asking myself the same question
repeatedly; “If God truly existed why do bad things
keep happening to us?” I scrolled through all the
comments that were posted regarding our situation.
Of course there were more bad comments than good
ones. I was used to that. The odd one that stood out
for me was a comment made by a certain Mrs.
Page 424 of 1871

Chauke. I told myself that it was most probably too
good to be true that it was Betty Chauke.
The profile Picture was not even hers; it was a picture

of Jesus. The comment was so disgusting that it just
had to be her. “People whenever you come to church
we teach you of the word of God. One of the ten
commandments says do not commit adultery. God
punishes those who do not listen. It is so unfortunate
that three children had to die but we should all learn
from this. Adultery and prostitution bring nothing but
a painful death to the table.” It had to be her. And
how did she even know all that? I went straight to
view her profile and browsed through the pictures. I
stumbled across one of her alongside Chauke himself
and I got sudden chills down my spine. When I went
through her wall I nearly died. All the posts were so
dark and creepy. “I made a vow before the Lord and
that vow is what I shall keep; til death do us part.”
That was really weird. Two days before my siblings
were kidnapped she posted a very petrifying
message. “Dear Lord I have done all I could for my
marriage only for a prostitute to try and come
between us. Only you know why you never gave me
Page 425 of 1871

children but forgive me for what I am about to do.
Only you know my heart.”
That sent me down a path I didn’t want to go

through. That for me was confirmation that she really
did it. I panicked; I had no idea what to do. But
ultimately she needed to pay. I was asking myself
what Chauke was doing throughout that entire time
since he was the father of the children. I didn’t want
to bother my mother with all my questions so I got up
and walked out of the house. It was not that dark
outside. I headed straight to the Chauke household.
The gate was never unlocked since they were “God’s
people”. I knocked sternly on the door and
unapologetically as well. Within a minute or so
Chauke opened the door and was stunned to see me.
Pastor Chauke: (surprised) “Can I help you?”
Nombulelo: “Where’s your wife?”
Pastor Chauke: “Heh banna (My goodness)! Little

girl! You come to my house and demand to see my
wife?”
Page 426 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Where is she?!”
He kept trying to stall and I pushed him aside and

entered the house. I walked through until I saw her
walk down the stairs in her robe. It seemed she had
just finished taking a bath.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Oh there you are. I wanted to

face the devil herself.”
Betty: “Can I help you? It seems like you really enjoy

being behind bars don’t you? Who did you sleep with
to get the charges dropped? I mean whoring yourself
must run in the family right?”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “You think you know it all

don’t you? You act like you worship God but in actual
fact you worship the devil. Have you no shame?”
Betty: “Shame is not something I associate myself

with my dear. Now if you will excuse me I have things
to do.”
Nombulelo: “Oh you mean things like killing three

innocent children by setting them on fire?!” You mean
Page 427 of 1871

things like killing three innocent children by setting
them on fire?!”
Betty turned around and looked at me blankly. She

had no emotion on her face though her eyes were
screaming hatred.
Betty: “Oh you mean that? Why don’t you ask your
mom’s boyfriend over there? He is oh sorry was their
father though right?”
She had just confirmed that she killed my siblings. My

heart tore in that moment. Staring at her while she
gave me that devilish smirk showed me that she
indeed was Lucifer herself. It’s no wonder God never
gave her children. I felt like crying but I refused to let
the tears drop. I forced them back. I was not going to
show her that side of me. I wanted to strangle her at
that present moment but then again; I would have
been arrested for prosecuting and murder at that
age. I was not about to ruin my life like that. I had to
contain myself but one thing was for sure – every dog
has its day. I had to play along and confuse her as
well. I looked at her and gave her the biggest smile on
my face.
Page 428 of 1871

Nombulelo: (smiling) “Oh well. I hope you enjoyed
that. I am sorry for wasting your time. Have a good
evening further.”
With that said I walked out and I could tell that was
not the reaction they were hoping for. I walked out of
that yard so fast that I had no idea how I ended up at
the park. Once I stopped I could feel my heart beating
out of my chest. I cried so hard and let out all the
feelings I had been hiding. It felt like my entire body
was burning and my throat became constricted. Pain
was ravishing my body like a famished animal. During
those few minutes my emotions were consuming
me. It felt so unbearable but I had to get up and dust
myself. I walked back home slowly so that the
redness on my face could slowly subside. Once I got
home I headed straight to bed and dozed off. I slept
right through the night without hearing my alarm
clock go off. All I heard was a constant bell being rung
outside. When I moved my bedroom curtains I was
surprised to see Thapelo’s taxi right outside. He must
have parked at that particular angle deliberately
because I saw him waving at me. I quickly put on my
Page 429 of 1871

gown and went outside to find out what news he had
for me.
Thapelo: (smiling) “Good morning. How did you

sleep?”
Nombulelo: (shrugging) “I slept throughout the night

but it feels like I hardly slept at all. Thanks for asking.
What about you?”
Thapelo: “I slept okay thanks.”
Nombulelo: “What are you doing here so early in the

morning? Have you got some news?”
Thapelo: “News? I came to take you guys to school.”
Nombulelo: “Oh there’s really no need Thapelo. I take

the school bus every morning and after school along
with Michelle.”
Thapelo: “Okay but your sisters need to go to school

as well right?”
Page 430 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I guess. I don’t know where they are
right now. I don’t want you to miss your hustle by
waiting on them.”
Thapelo: “I don’t mind waiting. I’ll take a smoke while

I wait.”
He was dead set on taking them to school. I

particularly wasn’t in the mood to go to school. I had
a lot on my mind. Thankfully I found Millicent all
ready for school. She was more disciplined than
Nairobi even though she was only 10 years old.
Nairobi was a year younger than Millicent but she was
just too spoilt for my liking. She had to be woken up
unlike Millicent she had to get her lunch made for her
and her clothes picked out for her. She didn’t even
know how to wash the dishes. I just knew that she
was going to be a problem as an adult.
Nombulelo: “Milli have you packed your lunch yet?”
Millicent: (nodding) “Yes I also packed for Nairobi.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “That one will need to learn to do

things on her own honestly. Where is she?"
Page 431 of 1871

Millicent: “Probably sleeping.”
I rushed to her bedroom and found her asleep as I

suspected.
Nombulelo: (irritable) “Nairobi wake up! It’s time to

go to school.”
Nairobi: “No I’m not going.”
Nombulelo: “And why not?”
Nairobi: “How will I concentrate after the big loss we

have just experienced? I’m in mourning.”
I got so upset with her that I pulled the covers from

her.
Nairobi: “Hayi (no) man Nombulelo!”
Nombulelo: “Listen to me and you’d better listen to

me very well Nairobi. You can see that we’re headed
for shit literally. Do you want to live your life begging
men to take care of you? Is that what you want?”
Page 432 of 1871

She could see the fury in my eyes and she shook her
head.
Nombulelo: “The only weapon against poverty is

education. No man can take that away from you. You
have it good man; private school education at one of
the best schools in the country and you want to tell
me that you’re mourning?! You’d better get up and
be dressed in five minutes. I am going to come and
check on you.”
Nairobi: (teary) “But I haven’t even showered.”
Nombulelo: “You should have thought of that before

choosing to sleep in on a week day.”
I was slowly grooming myself for the mother-figure

role in my siblings’ lives unwittingly. Indeed within 5
minutes she was dressed and ready to leave.
Millicent was more resilient than Nairobi and we got
on really well most probably because we experienced
the same life besides Nairobi.
Page 433 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Good. Thapelo is waiting for you guys
outside. He will fetch you from school.”
Millicent: “Are we going to be alright Lelo?”
I knew exactly what she meant and sadly I had no

assurance.
Nombulelo: (nodding) “We always make it – no

matter what. This time we sure will be alright. Now
go to school and learn something okay?”
They greeted me goodbye and got into Thapelo’s car.

I really wasn’t too sure why he was being so nice to
me – to us but I really appreciated it. Once he left
Michelle appeared looking really worried. She had
my school bag with her as well.
Michelle: “Hey chomi (friend).”
Nombulelo: “Hey friend. Are you well?”
Michelle: “I should be asking you that.”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “I’ll be fine.”
Page 434 of 1871

Michelle: “I’m so sorry about everything.”
She gave me one of her warm hugs.
Nombulelo: “Thank you.”
Michelle: “How is the family taking it?”
Nombulelo: “My mom is a mess and I can tell it is

about to get worse.”
Michelle: “Well I brought your school bag but I

assume you’re not going to school today.”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “I need to help her with

the funeral arrangements and everything.”
Michelle: “So it really is them? Oh Lord.”
Nombulelo: “We’re waiting on the DNA results but I

know it’s them. I can feel it in my gut.”
I didn’t want to tell her about what had happened

between Betty and I the previous night.
Page 435 of 1871

Michelle: “Well I will send you all the work on
WhatsApp okay?”
Nombulelo: “Thanks Michelle. I really appreciate it.”
Michelle: “Don’t forget to pray hey.”
Nombulelo: “Sure.”
She knew that I was not about to do that. She could

pester me all she needed to but I did not need a God
in my life.
As said in Romans 12:2 – “Do not be conformed to this

world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind
that by testing you may discern what is the will of God
what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Chapter 26
2 Corinthians 5:7 – “For we walk by faith not by sight.”
While my siblings left for school I took a bath and

prepared myself for the day ahead. After I got
dressed I made my mom some breakfast. Once I
went into her bedroom I saw that she was still in bed.
Page 436 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Mama here is some food.”
Gugu: “I’m not hungry.”
Nombulelo: “At least eat something for the day

ahead.”
Gugu: “What day ahead?”
Nombulelo: “We need to go find out if they identified

the children.”
Gugu: “I’m going nowhere.”
Nombulelo: “You have to Mama.”
Gugu: “I am going nowhere.”
I left the food on her bedside and walked out. I

thought she would come to her senses but she
didn’t. Until Thapelo even came back from dropping
my sisters off.
Nombulelo: “You’re back already?”
Page 437 of 1871

Thapelo: “Yes I thought you might need a ride.”
Nombulelo: “Where to?”
Thapelo: “To the morgue. The DNA tests came back.”
Nombulelo: (surprised) “That was quick.”
Thapelo: “Yes I pulled some strings.”
Nombulelo: “What did they say?”
Thapelo: (sigh) “They are all positive. It’s your

siblings. I’m so sorry.”
It stung but I expected that.
Nombulelo: (nodding) “So what now?”
Thapelo: “Well a murder docket has been opened

though no arrests have been made. Your mom will
need to go and identify them somehow though they
are badly burnt.”
Page 438 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I don’t think she will even make it out of
bed. She has no interest in anything.”
Thapelo: “Let me talk to her.”
I nodded as I let him into the house. He knocked

gently on her door and opened.
Thapelo: “Dumela Mme Lelo (Greetings Lelo’s

mother). How are you today?”
Gugu: (shrugging) “I don’t really know.”
Thapelo: “I understand. I know this is a very difficult

time for you but you are needed at the morgue. You
have to identify the children. They won’t release their
bodies until you do.”
Gugu: “So it is really my babies? Oh God. My

children.”
She started tearing up again but Thapelo seemed to

have the entire situation under control.
Page 439 of 1871

Thapelo: “I am afraid it is them Mme (ma). So I have
come to offer my assistance. I will drive you there and
bring you back home. I will also assist you with all the
necessary arrangements you need to make.”
Gugu: “Oh Thapelo. I don’t know how I will even

repay you for your kindness. Angina lutho (I have
nothing).”
Thapelo: “I don’t want your money Mme (ma). Just

let me help – please.”
He pleaded with her to agree to his assistance. I

couldn’t understand why he was so adamant to help
us. My mom agreed and went to take a bath as he
waited outside in his taxi. He was really respectful
and refused to sit in the house. Once she was done
we were off to the morgue. I sat right next to her in
the taxi and held her hand throughout the entire
ride. I was there for her but something just seemed
as if she switched off. She was not the mother I knew
the past few years the loving and caring mother. I
totally got it then and understood that she had gone
through a lot but she seemed so disconnected from
my sisters and I. I did not know what to make of it. I
Page 440 of 1871

held her hand and assumed that she would squeeze it
back but instead she just let me be. I felt like I was not
receiving the small bit of love and affection I needed
then. They were my family too and I was going
through immense loss too! We arrived at the morgue
and the police explained to us what they found. The
details were so horrific. To imagine my own siblings
dying in fire; being burnt alive and inhaling smoke. I
could only imagine Tshwanelo calling out for his
mother while the babies were just crying. Dying of
smoke inhalation is just so painful.
Gugu: “I am ready to see them.”
I was right beside her throughout the entire ordeal.

When we walked into the morgue fridge and they
opened the drawers I could feel myself becoming a
little lightheaded. I forced myself to watch as I
needed to be there for my mother. When they
unzipped those body bags I knew that my mother had
lost a big part of her soul. I could barely see who it
was any more. Tshwanelo was so unrecognizable it
was just too much to bear. All three of their bodies
were charcoal. We couldn’t even see their faces at
least. I could feel my stomach turn and vomit make
Page 441 of 1871

its way up but I forced it down. My mother on the
other hand couldn’t bare the sight. She vomited right
there on the floor and wailed. The morgue workers
understood that it happened and Thapelo was right
there to assist us. He took us home while we were
just silent in the car. My mother could barely walk
and we had to assist her. Once we put her in bed I
went out and got into Thapelo’s taxi without saying a
word for about half and hour. He understood and
occasionally went out to smoke.
Nombulelo: “Why are you being so nice to us

Thapelo?”
Thapelo: “Is it a crime to be nice?”
Nombulelo: “No I mean no one is nice to us. You are

the only one who is being kind to us without us even
asking. Why?”
Thapelo: “Because I know what it feels like to be you.”
Nombulelo: “What do you mean?”
Thapelo: “I’m hungry. Aren’t you hungry?”
Page 442 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I can make us something to eat.”
Thapelo: “No need. I am in the mood for a plate of

pap with cow heels. Do you mind if we take a drive? I
won’t take too much of your time.”
I agreed. He took me to the place where they sell

really nice comfort food and bought me a plate as
well. He bought himself a beer and a coldrink for me.
He parked his car at a nearby park and started
speaking while we were eating.
Thapelo: “My mother was only 16 when she had me.

My grandmother was very strict from the get go. She
taught her to love God and to worship the Bible. She
never knew how to have fun unless it meant sneaking
out of the house or after school. She became very
naughty and managed to hide it well until her
stomach became visibly pregnant. My grandmother
was very furious with her for falling pregnant and
wanted her to have an abortion. I mean “what would
people say” right? Anyway she found out my mom
was 6 months pregnant at the time which was way
too late for termination. She did not accept it and
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sent her away to live with her parents. My mom
became so depressed; all she wanted was for her
mother to accept her for being her and to love her
and to love me as well. Even after she gave birth she
was expected to leave me behind and come back to
live the perfect life. She couldn’t cope being away
from me. Worst part she had to break up with my
father so he was not part of my life from the word go.
When it finally became too much for her she
committed suicide. I was 2 years old by then. My
grandmother couldn’t cope with losing a daughter
and tried her best to fill that void with me. She raised
me well yes. I didn’t sleep hungry nor did I lack
anything but she is just not my mom you know. It’s
not like she doesn’t use my mother’s story to boost
her own self esteem whenever she preaches to the
youth. Everyone knows me as Thapelo the boy
whose teenage mom killed herself. I know they pity
me more than anything. I finished matric yes but to
them I am just a lousy taxi driver whom everyone
needs to feel sorry for. Each and every day I ask
myself what life would have been like had my mom
been alive. I go out of my way to help certain people
because I feel like it is my calling. We all need a
helping hand Lelo. Your mom might have made some
Page 444 of 1871

pretty bad choices but she is still human. What you
guys are going through right now is beyond painful
and being crucified by the community helps no one. I
guess what I am saying is that no matter what you go
through in life get an education and learn to be kind
to others. The world is cruel enough as it is.”
I looked at him fighting away the tears in his eyes. It

really broke my heart that I never knew that about
him.
Nombulelo: “Wow Thapelo. I am really sorry. I had

no idea what you went through.”
Thapelo: “It is really okay. It’s nothing major.”
I finally understood why he was going out of his way

to assist me. It was really heartbreaking to hear his
story. Indeed people go through so much out there.
We had a good talk and I managed to forget about my
life for a while. After a few hours he drove along with
me to fetch my sisters from school. Nairobi was the
only one attending a private school so we had to
make two trips.
Page 445 of 1871

Thapelo: “So I assume you won’t be going to school
for a few days because of the funeral arrangements.
Have you guys decided when you’ll be burying the
kids?”
Nombulelo: “No but I suppose she has funeral cover

so that should be sorted.”
She had had to cover the children right? All of us in

fact. For some reason I started pondering my mind
about the entire situation. What if she didn’t have
funeral cover for them? I felt so unsettled on our way
home and Thapelo must have noticed. He knew how
to react to situations and didn’t speak to me much
further. Upon arriving home I got the shock of my
life. Our entire furniture was being loaded onto a
truck just outside. I rushed out of the taxi as fast as I
could while Thapelo and my sisters followed me. I
found two delivery men pakcing our things into the
truck.
Nombulelo: “Excuse me what is happening here?”
Man 1: “Sesi (sis) you can clearly see that we are

loading all the furniture of this house.”
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Nombulelo: “Who gave you permission to do that?”
Man 2: “The lady of the house.”
Nombulelo: “Where is she now?”
Man 1: “She has gone to her other house where we

need to deliver all these.”
Nombulelo: “May I ask why you are even loading the

furniture?”
Man 2: “Bathong (goodness) the house is sold. Can’t

you see?”
Man 1: “Motho o re botsa di potso and e batla go

sebetsa mo (This girl is asking us questions and we
want to work).”
My heart most probably skipped a few beats.

Nombulelo: “May I see the address of the place
you’re going to?”
The one man irritably handed me the paper and I was
shocked to see the address of Mam’Rose’s house
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which belongd to me. When did she even sell the
house because I had only left her a few hours.
Thepelo: “ What’s the address?”
Nombulelo: “ It’s my grandmother’s house.”
Thapelo: “ Okay let’s go then.”
My sisters were appalled and quite anxious. We all
didn’t know what to expect and there was no time to
even check if they were packing all our things into
that truck. No one was there to supervise them. We
got into Thapelo’s taxi and drove off speedily to my
houde. Indeed we found my mother already settled
into the house and the people who were renting the
house were nowhere to be seen. The only people left
were those in the outside rooms. I actually found her
sipping a bottle of savanna
Nombulelo: “Mama what’s going on?”
Gugu: “Oh Nombu you’re here. I sold my house.”
Nombulelo: “Without consulting me?’
Gugu: “It’s my house isn’t it? Was there a need to
consult you?”
And just like that my drunkard mother came back to
life.
Nombulelo: “But Ma why?”
Gugu: “And? Would you rather throw your own
mother and sisters into the street?”
Page 448 of 1871

She was so serious. I thought it was a dream but no
she was dead serious. It was a three bedroom house
which meant that two people had to share a
bedroom. I really became annoyed as I walked
through the house and saw she had already placed
some of her things into Mam’Regina’s bedroom.
Clearly she saw it fit to do whatever she wanted. I felt
some rage; I mean I wasn’t too sure why. She just
placed herself into my house without my permission. I
might have been a minor but it was mu house. She
sold her house the home we had known for years
without warning us. We were back to square one.
Thapelo let us be and left while we were slowly
processing the entire thing. Our furniture was
offloaded and when we noticed a few things missing
and started pointing them out the delivery guys didn’t
care.
Man: “Sesi weh (hey sis) rena re tsena kae moo
(where do we enter there)? This is all the stuff we got
from the house. Now if you’ll excuse us we have a
busy schedule.”
I knew that they stole a few of our things and it really
broke me to see that my mother didn’t have a care in
the world. I instructed Nairobi and Michelle that
they’d share a bedroom until such a time their mom
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would buy them separate beds. They were annoyed
but there was really nothing they could do about it.
She was drinking non stop until that evening.
Gugu: “Nombu aren’t you going to cook for us?”
Nombulelo: “But Mama I have some work to catch up
on.”
Gugu: “Oh so we must rather starve to death in your
house?”
She was being so sarcastic and I was just no about to
get into it with her. I cooked for them all and dished
up. They ate and I was left to wash the dishes. That
system was not going to work for me. It needing to
change.
A few days later……
The funeral finally came and my mother pulled out all
the stops. She was drinking heavily that entire week
leading up to the funeral. Even on the day of the
funeral she woke up heavily hungover. Her reality was
too farfetched. She made time only to go shopping
with us for new outfits for the funeral her mindset
much like many was just too messed up. Very few
people from the church came; not even Chauke came
to bury his own children. A lot of people from the
community came but we all knew that they wanted to
see if we could actually pull it off so they could talk
Page 450 of 1871

about my mother while they were having a drink after
the funeral. Some actually came because they
thought they’d see burnt bodies of children in the
caskets and make it trend but unfortunately for them
there was no open casket. My mother got some
pastor from where I had no idea to be the officiator of
the entire funeral. Chauke didn’t even make his
presence known and everyone figured why. I was
terrible disgusted in him and his wife but I knew that
I’d deal with them for as long as they in Benoni. It was
a very somber funeral; such nthings never happened
in Benoni and worst part to innocent children. My
mother was quite throughout though she wrote a
letter to her three children and it was read by the
pastor. “My dearest sweet children. Lord knows how
much my heart is aching right now. I never thought
that at my age I’d be burying three of my children.
Tshwanelo how I remember the jokes you were
making that day and you kept telling me how much
you loved me. If only I had known that it would be
goodbye. My sweet babies Kutloano and Kopano God
took you from me before I could even teach you how
to say your first word. I will never get to see you
become the President Tshwanelo while I’ll never get
to see you two walk or even tell me how your first day
Page 451 of 1871

of school was. I will forever treasure you in my heart
and God knows that we will meet again. My parents
and grandmother have welcomed you into heaven.
Take good care of one another and watch over your
sisters and I from up there. I will forever love you and
treasure you. Love your mom Gugu.” The letter was
quite heart-breaking. With every full stop the pastor
made I could hear my mother sniffing. I looed around
and Michelle was amongst the crowd sitting right next
to Thapelo. I honestly had no idea how we would
have gotten through it all hadn’t it been for him.
When we got to the graveyard my mother completely
lost it when the coffins went down. There is just
something unsettling and final about that moment
you know. People started crying even those who
didn’t really know the children. It was quite
understandable. The pastor gave them a very decent
funeral and we went back to the house to eat. I hardly
saw my mom’s friends but they were all there that
day. Brenda, Nothile and Martha friends of hers from
back in the day. They looked a lot like slay queens to
me though.
Brenda: (shocked) “Bathong (goodness)! Nombulelo!
Is this really you?”(proudly) “Yes it is her. My very first
Page 452 of 1871

born. Ke godisitse wa mpona (I have raised her well
hey)?”
Nothile: “She truly has grown.”
Martha: “She looks nothing like you G. I mean not
even her body structure. Didi you even find out who
her father was though?”
I knew that Martha was not the type of aunt I’d want
to be around.
Gugu: ‘Martha o kare o thoma go ntlwaela masepa
bjanong (you are starting to tell me shit now).”
Martha: ‘Askies (sorry) I was just trying to make
conversation.”
Gugu: “No I think free alcohol is making you talk shit
and o tlo ntena (I’ll get annoyed).”
Nothile: ‘Sorry Gugu. I don’t think she meant it that
way. You know she is.”
Brenda: “Yeah don’t let her get to you like that.”
With that said I just let them to site in my bedroom. I
didn’t want to intrude or be around people who were
busy having after tears. I hated alcohol for as long as I
could remember and I vowed to myself to never
touch a drop. Mi sat in my bedroom and grabbed a
picture of my grandmother alongside me and I
smiled.
Page 453 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Koko (granny) I really miss you. If you
were here life would be completely different.
I felt a warm breeze on my shoulder and it actually felt
like my grandmother was there with me. I shed a tear
because she would always brush my shoulder
whenever I was having a bad day. Life is just not fair.
Despite all the life changes and adjustments my
mother made Nairobi was not allowed under any
circumstances to change schools. She felt she was a
lot brighter that the rest of us when really she was
just average if not below if you ask me. She had such
high regard for her which really straining our
relationship with her. She was drinking all day every
day again and I was left to pick up the pieces. This
time she would drink couldn’t walk any more. To
make matters worse the tavern was too far from my
house which made it easier for her to access liquor
daily. She started making waves again and was the
joke of the town one more. She was called all sort of
names and her dignity was gone down the drain yet
again. Of course Betty was having a field trip with my
mother’s downfall and it really hurt me. Whenever I’d
try to address her she would curse at me and basically
tell me to fuck off. She was no longer interested in my
life and getting to know us. She was again distant
Page 454 of 1871

though Nairobi lacked nothing. She never told me
how much she sold the house for and the money
would soon run dry since she would sometimes
spend nights aways from the house without even
calling us or telling us that she was alright. I learnt to
deal with that my own way while Millicent seemed
rather affected. It was started to affect her at school
and so I had to take matters into my own hands and
speak to her headmaster. I explained the situation at
hand and she was offered counselling at school. Even
since then she was doing a lot better. When I turned
16 and was doing grade 11 things started taking a
turn for the worst. I could see that my mother’s
money was running dry when she no longer gave me
enough money to buy us groceries. Instead of buying
meat she would tell me to but canned food. We had
to live of canned food for an entire month. That was
no way to live. She was getting money from our
tenants outside as well as social grant of the three of
us. Instead of taking care of us she was drinking it all
whenever she got the chance. Thapelo was nice
enough to transport my sisters for free without asking
for anything in return. She didn’t even remember my
birthday and I remember just how hurt I was that day.
Page 455 of 1871

She never bothered to return home until I ended up
texting her.
Gugu: “Out what is it?”
Nombulelo: “Are you coming back?”
Gugu: “No what do you want Nombulelo?”
Nombulelo: “It’s my birthday today.”
Gugu: “Oh is it today? Well happy birthday.”
Just like that. It really cut me deep. I was saddened
but it is what it is. Ever since that day was gone for
nearly two weeks. The food was running out and I was
too ashamed to ask Michelle or Thapelo to assist me.
It was really tough. I remember I was walking home
from the bus stop while minding my own business
when Nairobi came running towards me in tears.
Nombulelo: “What is it? What happened?”
Nairobi: “It’s mom. She’s in hospital.”
I really thought that the day had finally come
Nombulelo: “What do you mean? Is she hurt?”
Nairobi: (sobbing) “I don’t know. I only heard one of
the tenants tell me that the police were here for us to
let us know.”
Page 456 of 1871

Chapter 27
James 4:17 – “So whoever knows the right thing to do
and fails to do it for him it is sin.”
Just when I thought that perhaps life would be a lot

easier because she was pregnant with twins I got the
shock of my life once more. My mother gave birth to
triplets; another two girls and one boy on Christmas
day a few weeks before I would be in Matric. It was
supposed to be the best time of my life yet I was
barely coping. I was always the one who had it all
kept together but towards the end of that year I was
really feeling it. All she had in mind was that having
triplets naturally was a one in a million chance and
she took it as a gift from God that those three were
destined for eternal greatness. It was almost as if I
was seeing a glimpse of the future and it was not so
bright on my side and I honestly felt like I was not
going to pass my Matric. I was almost 18 while
Millicent was 13 and Nairobi was 12. We were all
teenagers and they had raging hormones especially
Nairobi. To make matters worse my mother gave
Page 457 of 1871

birth to those babies at 6 months as her body could
not carry them further. She had a complicated
pregnancy and her womb was apparently not so
viable but the triplets made it.
Our mother was no longer our rock instead she just

kept making a laughing stock of our entire family all
over again. She seemed so pleased with herself for
having three more children three more mouths to
feed. I wasn’t even interested in seeing them or her
when I heard that she had given birth. I had just
developed so much hatred towards her. When she
went into labor Thapelo was the one that rushed her
to hospital and she had to have an emergency C-
section. She had placental abruption which can be
deadly to both mother and child. You should have
heard her sing God’s praises over the phone when
she called me to tell me that the triplets made it and
so did she. They had to do a hysterectomy on her
part as her uterus was no longer functional which was
such a relief on my side. Nairobi and Millicent went
along with Thapelo to the hospital and he was kind
enough to bring her back home despite her nasty
attitude. As the days went by we heard very little
thank you’s and please’s. The triplets’ condition was a
Page 458 of 1871

bit bad; they were not fully developed and had to stay
in hospital for a while until they could grow big
enough to go home. That meant spending money
each and every day to visit them and she had to buy a
good enough breast pump that would enable her to
pump milk for all three of them.
I hated my situation so badly that I was secretly

wishing for them not to make it. I know it makes me a
horrible person but it was as if I knew what was going
to occur within the next few months. She named the
boy Isaiah and the two girls Rachel and Hannah just
like in the Bible. I was just not interested to be
honest. She called us every day to update us about
those three instead of asking us how we were doing.
The moment we told her that we had a shortage of
food or anything else she would blow a bloody
gasket. I was the eldest one so who was going to
assist her with those children? I was pre-matric and I
needed to get my shit together man. I was really
feeling irritated by my entire life situation. I was tired
of complaining to my friend all the time so I found
myself taking a taxi to town. I don’t really know
where I was going but I knew I was going
somewhere. I bought myself a McFlurry with no
Page 459 of 1871

money to go back home. Such a risk taker I was.
While sitting outside on one of the benches I saw a
very handsome guy who was dressed really well in a
full set of Gucci including the bucket hat. He seemed
really peculiar. For some reason my eyes were just
stuck on him and never moved away. I saw him
walking up and down and looking at people
approaching him. He got on the phone and bumped
into one of the people. He apologized and when he
walked away he was smiling to himself opening a
wallet that seemed to be that of the very person he
bumped into. So it was all deliberate. I thought it was
all in my mind but then he did it again and again. He
was a professional so it seemed and I was so
intrigued. I never really thought of myself as a
criminal in that sense but I was interested to learn
how to do what he did. He didn’t see me coming so I
approached him from the back.
Nombulelo: “Teach me how do to that.”
He was a little frightened by me. He turned around

and I came across the most beautiful eyes a boy could
ever have.
Page 460 of 1871

Guy: “Eh (oh) what are you talking about ntwana
(girl)?”
Nombulelo: “You know exactly what I am talking

about. Teach me how to steal people’s wallets like
you just did to those three people.”
He looked at me and analyzed me very carefully.
Nombulelo: “I’m not a cop I mean I am way too young

to be one if that’s what you are thinking.”
Guy: (laughing) “You are very funny hey.”
Nombulelo: “Teach me.”
Guy: “I don’t teach kids more especially girls how to

steal.”
Nombulelo: “If you don’t I am going to scream right

here right now and tell everyone how you tried to
kidnap me. Can you imagine what they’d do to you
more especially if they found numerous wallets of
people who aren’t you?”
Page 461 of 1871

He looked at me and noticed just how serious I was
and laughed.
Guy: (laughing) “My goodness. Who are you?”
I extended my hand for a handshake.
Nombulelo: “Nombulelo Makeba. Pleased to meet

you.”
Guy: (smiling) “Well then you can call me Alfred.”
Nombulelo: “Don’t you have a last name Alfred or did

you just give me a fake name to get rid of me?”
Alfred: (laughing) “Skosana. That’s my last name.”
Nombulelo: “Well alright then. It is nice to meet you.

Now are you going to teach me or what?”
Alfred: “It depends are you willing to learn from a

stranger like me?”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “I wouldn’t have asked you to

help me if I wasn’t willing.”
Page 462 of 1871

Alfred: “I mean obviously I can’t teach you how to be
a pick pocketer right in the middle of people now can
I? Are you willing to go somewhere more private?”
Nombulelo: “Just so you know I can really throw a

punch if you are trying to kidnap me or something.”
Alfred: (laughing) “Come on now Lelo. I wouldn’t

dream of doing that. Now are you game?”
I didn’t sense any bad vibes from him other than the
fact that he was indeed a criminal so I agreed. I
walked with him to his car a very nice VW Polo
Trendline. It was gray in colour how could I forget? It
smelled so nice inside and was really clean. I could
tell he was a very neat guy.
Nombulelo: “So Alfred do you hang around pick

pocketing people all day or do you have an actual
job?”
Alfred: “Do you hang around at the mall watching

criminals do crime all day or do you actually go to
school?”
Page 463 of 1871

Nombulelo: (laughing) “Smart ass. I am going to
Grade 12 next year. I just came here to catch a breath
from home.”
Alfred: “Hmm you must be really smart huh?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “I won’t deny that part. I am

very smart. What about you? Did you just get up and
decide that pick pocketing is what you want to do
when you grow up?”
Alfred: “No life becomes so hard sometimes

especially for boys that the only thing left to do turn
to is crime itself.”
He was being rather vague about his life making me

more intrigued and eager to learn. That seemed like
such easy money which I could really use. If I could
learn how to do that I’d most definitely never be
broke. He drove me to the nearest park thankfully it
wasn’t very far from my house. We got out of the car
and he started speaking.
Alfred: “So where are you from Nombulelo?”
Page 464 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Benoni Wattville to be precise. What
about you?”
Alfred: “I am originally from Boksburg.”
Nombulelo: “Cool now teach me.”
Alfred: “Why do you want to learn how to pick

pocket? It’s not a scene for girls.”
Nombulelo: “Because times are really tough at home

and I need to look after my siblings.”
Alfred: (nodding) “I see.”
While we were having a casual conversation I wasn’t

realizing that he actually took my phone from me.
When he showed it to me I became really shocked.
Nombulelo: (shocked) “How and when did you take

that from me?”
Page 465 of 1871

Alfred: “I distracted you. While you were getting so
intrigued and worked up over my questions I took it
from you.”
Nombulelo: “But I didn’t even feel you do it.”

Alfred: “That’s the idea.”
He finally taught me how to do that and it took me

quite a while to master the skill but I finally got it
right. When I did I was so happy. It felt like a true
accomplishment for me. I felt like I could rule the
world with just the little skill I had learnt that day. It
was finally time to put it to the test hours later. He
drove me to a different location this time; the taxi
rank where it got so busy in the street. Everyone
bumped into one another whenever walking up and
down so it was not really thought of that you’d get
pick pocketed. Even if you were who would you
blame because it got so crowded daily?
Alfred: “Well it is time for you to test your newfound

skill.”
I was a bit nervous; not about doing it but about

getting caught. I pictured myself getting beaten by
Page 466 of 1871

the taxi drivers there and the mob. I didn’t want to
die such a horrible death.
Alfred: “Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now

Lelo.”
Nombulelo: “I’m not. Cold feet is not something I

associate myself with. I got out of the car and closed
the door. I walked firmly towards the crowded area.
At first I walked up and went into a nearby shop. I
looked around and thought who my next victim
would be. I didn’t want to target women – that was
not my style. They had it rough as is. I saw a man
who looked like he had a fat wallet showing right
through the pocket of his pants. He had a big pot
belly exactly someone I would think of ripping off. I
walked hastily towards him while he was right before
me. I bumped into him exactly how Alfie taught me.
When I felt the wallet in my hand I got a sudden
exhilarating feeling. I quickly put it in my small bag.
When the man turned around and gave me the
nastiest gaze I had ever gotten from the opposite sex I
knew that I had made the right choice by picking him
as my very first target.
Page 467 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Apologies sir. You know how crowded it
gets here.”
He looked at me as if I disgusted him.
Man: “Watch where you’re going next time. You will

taint my expensive clothes.”
I just smiled broadly at him and apologized once

again. When the robot turned green I walked swiftly
to Alfie’s car and got in.
Alfred: “Well?”
I showed him the fat wallet I had in my hand and it felt

absolutely liberating. I was bursting with euphoria.
Crime never felt so good. Once you do something
and try again it gets easier each time. Alfred smiled as
he noticed just how excited I got. He drove off and I
watched through the rearview mirror how the man
was searching his pockets and couldn’t find his wallet.
I laughed so hard and felt like I had done the best
thing I ever could. The first thing I thought of buying
was groceries for myself and my siblings. My mother
was the last person on my mind. When Alfred
Page 468 of 1871

stopped at the nearby park we were at hours before
he looked at me with a big smile.
Alfred: “So what are you going to do with all that

cash?”
Nombulelo: “Are you kidding me? I’m going to buy

groceries for home.”
Alfred: “That’s all?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “That’s the only thing on my

mind right now.”
Alfred: “Let me ask you this are you going to put your
siblings first always and not think of your own self?”
Nombulelo: “They are younger than me and I want

them to do well in life.”
Alfred: “Well you also deserve to spoil yourself.”
He took out a small machine that looked like a POS

system.
Page 469 of 1871

Nombulelo: “What’s that?”
Alfred: “This is a skimming device. It will enable me to

clone all that fat bastard’s cards.”
I knew then that Alfred was not just a pick pocket kind
of guy. He drove a Polo for crying out loud.
Nombulelo: “Why does it seem like you know that

guy?”
Alfred: “You Lelo my darling have a good eye. That

man owns a chain of Supermarkets around
Northmead and Benoni. We are going to have some
fun today and I am about to change your life.”
He was done cloning a few cards and once he was

done we got out of the car. I had never been to the
shops he took me to. He swiped any amount for
anything I needed. Afterwards we went to
Woolworths and bought proper groceries. I am
talking A-grade steak with first class spices. I had
never really eaten Woolies food before so it felt like a
big achievement for me. I was draped in apparel I
never thought I could ever wear; a Louis Vuitton dress
Page 470 of 1871

with matching sandals and Falcon Milan sunglasses. I
felt like a million dollars just by looking at myself in the
mirror. I learnt that day that money had power hence
the devil uses it to lure even the smartest of people.
If you smell like money and even look like it people
look at you otherwise. They look at you with some
kind of respect; something I never had while growing
up. I was looked at with the same eye they looked at
my mother with. They didn’t respect us they thought
very low of us and when I was dressed like that I truly
felt that I needed to sustain myself by having money. I
wanted to control people who thought I was nothing
in life; those who thought that I came from nothing
and therefore I’d be nothing. I wanted to rule them
so much that they’d bow down before me one day.
That’s the power of money. I was the “It-girl” that day
and I was loving each moment. Alfie and I were
walking side by side hand in hand looking like a real
couple. I didn’t care what people thought because
they didn’t even notice me. Once we were done I
think we bought groceries of about R3000 if not
more. I felt like I had achieved a lot. We went to eat
at a Restaurant called Lemongrass. I swear I never
had such great steak and seafood before in my life.
Alfie offered me some wine but I swore to myself that
Page 471 of 1871

I’d never touch alcohol. I didn’t want to turn out like
my mother.
Alfred: “Mussels go well with a glass of white wine.

Try a sip. If you don’t like it – I won’t force you.”
I nodded and tried a sip. That was enough to give me

a slight headache. The sweetness was not something
that I enjoyed.
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “I don’t think alcohol will

ever be for me. I’d rather have sparkling water or
juice.”
Alfred seemed so impressed with me and the way I

could stand my ground. I didn’t care if he enjoyed
alcohol but I was not going to indulge in that. After a
lovely five course meal it was finally time to go home.
That was exactly the 29th of December a few days
after my new siblings were born and two days before
the New Year. He dropped me off right at the gate of
which I didn’t mind. I had nothing to lose. I didn’t
even care if my mom saw me in brand new labeled
clothing.
Page 472 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Thanks so much for this great day
Alfred. I really had a lovely time.”
Alfred: “Of course Lelo. Don’t be a stranger now.”
I greeted him goodbye as I took my paper bags and

plastic bags. He offered to help me carry them but I
didn’t want people getting the wrong impression
about me. I got into the house and found Millicent
and Nairobi watching TV with no smell of any cooked
food. They were of course gobsmacked to see me
dressed the way I was.
Nombulelo: “Did you guys eat anything today?”
Nairobi: (shocked) “My word Lelo! Did you get a

blesser or something?”
Nombulelo: “Askies (excuse me)?”
I frowned in such a way that she knew she’d get into

trouble with me.
Nairobi: “I mean where did you get all those clothes?”
Page 473 of 1871

Millicent: “Yes and what’s in the plastic bags? You
know very well that we can’t afford such expensive
clothes.”
Nairobi: “That dress costs around R15000.”
Nombulelo: “You can’t afford but I can. Here I brought

you some food.”
I handed them the takeaways from the lovely

restaurant. They were too captivated by the lovely
smell of ribs to even ask where I got that from. I
placed the plastic bags in the kitchen while they were
eating.
Nombulelo: “Once you guys are done eating I expect

you to pack all that food into the fridge before you
sleep. Are we clear?”
They both nodded. The food was too nice for them. I
went to my bedroom with the rest of my paper bags.
I stared at myself in the mirror one last time. I looked
like a real million dollars. I might not have had my
mother’s body but so what if I didn’t have a big ass or
even an ass at all? I looked good with my big afro. I
Page 474 of 1871

couldn’t get enough and ensured that I took pictures
of myself before going to take a bath and heading for
bed. I had a really good bath only for my mom to ruin
my mood. I found her sitting on my bed waiting for
my presence. She had gone through my bags it
seemed.
Nombulelo: (frowning) “What are you doing in my

room?”
Gugu: “Where did you get all these Nombulelo?”
Nombulelo: “That’s none of your business. It’s not

like you care about us.”
Gugu: “Where did you get all the money for those
groceries? Are you fucking men for money?!”
She got so angry that she stood up. I was slightly

taller than her so she was looking up at me.
Nombulelo: “I don’t do what you do. Besides you are

supposed to be glad that I managed to make a plan. I
don’t even have a boyfriend.”
Page 475 of 1871

She got so angry and attempted to slap me but I held
her hand so firmly and threw her towards the
ground. She could see just how angry I was with her.
I looked her right in the eye and the anger I had
towards her resurfaced.
Nombulelo: “Let that be the very last day you ever try
that on me Gugu. Stay out of my way and stay out of
my life just as you have been doing for the past year.
If I ever see you in my room again I will not hesitate to
make you regret it.”
I had never seen my mother so fearful of me but I had

to do that. I don’t know what had come over me but I
only realized after she stormed out of my bedroom
that I had just threatened my very own mother. The
sad part is that I didn’t even feel any remorse.
As said in 1 Timothy 6:10 – “For the love of money is a

root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that
some have wandered away from the faith and pierced
themselves with many pangs.”
Chapter 28
1 Timothy 4:1 – “Now the Spirit expressly says that in
later times some will depart from the faith by
Page 476 of 1871

devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings
of demons.”
Little did I know that I had started my life-changing

transition that very day I met Alfie. I got up the
following morning and life was still okay since the
triplets weren’t back home as of yet. My mom woke
up early in the morning each day to go see them. I
was not very shocked to see that she had taken quite
a few items from the kitchen and fridge that morning.
Milli and Nairobi were much more at ease knowing
that there was food in the house. I was very happy
myself and I was planning a big lunch for us all on the
31st. I went to sit with Michelle at her house for a
while. Luckily her parents didn’t judge me for my
background. We sat on the stoep as usual eating ice
blocks and those cheap chips that were sold around
every corner.
Michelle: “So, chomi. Where have you been these

past few days?”
Nombulelo: “I’ve been at home. Why?”
Michelle: “Aowa (No), kea botsa fela (I’m just asking).”
Page 477 of 1871

Nombulelo: “It sounds as if you’re asking me because
you heard something.”
Michelle: “Well, something like that.”
Nombulelo: “Spit it out.”
Michelle: “Well, I heard a little rumour, of which I

didn’t believe, of course.”
Nombulelo: “Yes?”
Michelle: “I hear that you came back home dressed in

some serious apparel yesterday.”
Nombulelo: “Who told you that?”
I had actually forgotten that people around that town

knew so much of people’s business.
Michelle: “Like I said, I just heard a rumour.”
Nombulelo: “Well, whoever told you that little

rumour doesn’t have his or her facts straight.”
Page 478 of 1871

Michelle: “So, you’re telling me you weren’t dressed
in Louis Vuitton yesterday?”
Nombulelo: “No, where on earth would I get the

money to afford that?”
Michelle: “Hmm, if you did you’d tell me, right?”
Nombulelo: “Of course.”
I hated lying to Michelle but knowing her she would

have told me about the Bible and “Thou shall not
steal”. I was not in the mood for that. We carried on
with our day and later on, I went back home. I had
left my phone in the house and when I browsed
through it, I saw a few missed calls and a text message
from Alfie. “Hey, call me back when you get the
chance. Alfred.” I decided to call him back and he
answered speadily.
Alfred: “Hey, Gangster queen.”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “I’m not a gangster.”
Page 479 of 1871

Alfred: “Sure you’re not. How are you today? Slept
well?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, actually, like a baby, thanks. How

about you?”
Alfred: “Oh, well. I had a peaceful night. I was

dreaming about all the things you and I could achieve
together.”
Nombulelo: “Such as?”
Alfred: “How about I tell you all about it later on? I

have a small get together with my friends and I'd like
you to meet them.”
Nombulelo: “Are they old?”
Alfred: (laughing) “Why would you ask such a

question?”
Nombulelo: “I mean, no offence you are kind of old as

well. I just want to mentally prepare myself for the
conversations that follow there.”
Page 480 of 1871

Alfred: (chuckling) “No, they’re not old. They are in
their early twenties. And for your information, I am
only 21.”
Nombulelo: “You’re still older than me. Is it only

boys?”
Alfred: “No, there will be a few girls there as well.”
Nombulelo: “Alright then. I will see you later.”
Alfred: “I will come fetch you.”
Nombulelo: “Cool.”
We hung up and I sat in my bedroom browsing

through my social media. When it was almost time
for Alfie to come and fetch me, I refreshed myself and
decided to wear one of the outfits that he had bought
me the previous day. I got the shock of my life when I
noticed all the dresses Alfie had bought me the
previous day along with the very outfit I came home
in, including a pair of brand new sneakers that Alfie
had bought me were missing. I looked around my
entire wardrobe and realized that a few other older
Page 481 of 1871

items were missing as well. I got so upset that I called
my sisters.
Nombulelo: (furiously) “Nairobi! Millicent!”
They came rushing to my bedroom.
Millicent: “Sesi (sis), what’s up?”
Nombulelo: “Which one of you was in my room

yesterday?!”
Nairobi: “No one.”
Nombulelo: “Don’t mess with me, Nairobi! Some of

my things are missing.”
Millicent: “It must be mom. I saw her walking out

with a plastic bag along with some money she was
counting on her way out.”
Immediately I went through my purse and noticed

that all the money I had the previous day was gone. I
called her and she didn’t pick up my calls. She
obviously did that deliberately. I was so furious as I
Page 482 of 1871

dismissed the two of them. My mother had gone way
too far. We weren’t even the same size. I had no idea
what to wear since I felt that I wasn’t going to match
with the other people that Alfie wanted me to meet,
so I sent him a text saying that I couldn’t make it
anymore. I was back to being broke in just a day of
my newfound freedom, all because of my evil
mother. Alfie didn’t respond nor call me back, instead
I heard a hooter right outside the gate. When I
looked through my window, it was Alfie. I was very
embarrassed to walk out with my old clothes, but it is
what it is.
Alfie: “Hey, what’s up?”
Nombulelo: “I can’t go with you anymore. Didn’t you

get my text?”
Alfie: “I did. Why not?”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “My mom stole my clothes and the

money I had left yesterday. I can’t walk around with
you dressed like this while you are dressed like that.”
Alfie: (chuckling) “That’s your worry? Come on, Lelo.”
Page 483 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I am serious. I can’t go with you.”
Alfie: “Hop in. I’ll get you another outfit.”
Nombulelo: “I can’t expect you to do that.”
Alfie: “Why not?”
Nombulelo: “Because…”
I actually didn’t even have a reason, so I just came up

with whatever came to my mind.
Nombulelo: “I don’t want to end up owing you

anything, you know.”
Alfie: “You won’t be owing me anything. I am doing

this because I like you and because I want to. Now
hop in, the guys are already waiting on me and I am
hardly late.”
I got into the car and we drove to the nearest mall all
over again. He bought me a few more items just like
the previous day. I felt so bad because he was
Page 484 of 1871

spending more money on me. This time, he got me a
short, floral maxi dress from Gucci with long sleeves. I
hated dresses due to my body shape, but I looked
really nice that day. I looked so gorgeous that I
couldn’t get myself to stop staring into the mirror. I
had new found confidence, but I most probably
blamed it on the money. I absolutely loved that
feeling.
Alfred: “Are you feeling better now?”
Nombulelo: “A whole lot.”
Alfred: “Good then. We can finally get going.”
I assumed Alfie had some sort of important meeting

with his friends – a business meeting of some sort,
but we went to meet at one of the friends’ houses. It
was quite a distance from my house to theirs, and the
house looked really nice. It wasn’t too big but a
modern house like where we used to live with my
mom before she sold her house. Upon entering the
yard, we were met with modern cars; I spotted an
Audi Q2, a Jeep Grand Cherokee and the latest VW
Golf. I had always seen such cars while driving in a taxi
Page 485 of 1871

on the highway or randomly around my area, but
never right before my eyes like that. I was being
reeled into the kind of life that was driven by how
much money you have and I just wanted more of it.
Alfie waited for me to get out of the car and held me
by my hand. We went in and had to go to the back
yard, where we found three other guys and three
girls. They all looked more or less Alfie’s age while the
girls looked a little older than me but not older than
22.
Alfie: “Ekse Authies (Hi, guys).”
They were having a casual conversation but the

moment they saw me beside Alfie, they all stopped
talking. One of them even turned down the music.
Guy: (shocked) “And then?! O tlile le mang wa

lepyatla so (who’s this beautiful girl beside you)?”
Alfred: (smiling) “Guys, I’d like you to meet

Nombulelo. I call her Lelo for short.”
All the guys didn’t seem to have a problem with my

presence, however, one of the girls took one look at
Page 486 of 1871

me and I just knew that we were going to have a
problem. He introduced them all to me, starting all
the way from the left.
Alfred: “This is Paul, but we call him “Diesel” short for

Vin Diesel, though he looks nothing like him
whatsoever.”
Diesel: “Hey wena sani (you boy).”
They all laughed at that. It seemed as if they were a

tight knit crew who enjoyed fooling around. Alfie
then introduced the girl who was sitting right next to
him.
Alfred: “That is Priscilla, Diesel’s girlfriend.”
She looked really pretty; light skinned, with a nice

weave on and extremely long nails and a very petite
figure. She was nice enough to smile at and greet
me. I didn’t get any negative vibes there. Onto the
next couple.
Alfred: “This is Biggie; we all call him that for obvious

reasons though his real name is Bongani.”
Page 487 of 1871

He was quite big that’s for sure, but he seemed nice
as well.
Alfred: “This is Kea, Biggie’s girlfriend.”
They were all girlfriends so far – no wives. He then

saved the best for last; the one girl who clearly didn’t
like me. She was sitting alone on the couch with a
champagne glass in her hand.
Alfred: “And this one right here is Puse, short for

Puseletso. She is Zoro’s baby mama. His real name is
Steven by the way.”
See, I have always been a very observant person. He

started off nicely and introduced the other girls quite
well but when it came to Puse he introduced her as a
Baby Mama instead of a girlfriend. She didn’t seem
very pleased with the way he introduced her.
Puse: (annoyed) “Excuse me, I am his future wife,

fiancée to be exact.”
Page 488 of 1871

She showed her hand to me as I could see the ring,
but they were all unbothered by her.
Zoro: (smiling) “Nice to meet you, Lelo. Are you the

one that’s finally going to make an honest man out of
my friend over there?”
Puse just had to jump in of course.
Puse: “Oh, please. We all know that she won’t last

long – like all the others.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, Alfie and I are just friends.”
Zoro: (impressed) “Alfie, huh?”
Alfred: (proudly) “Yes, she calls me Alfie and I love it.”
Biggie: (chuckling) “She did say you two aren’t an item

though, bro.”
Diesel: “Oh, come on. Give her time. No one says no

to “Alfie’s” charm.”
The guys laughed along with Kea and Priscilla.
Page 489 of 1871

Puse: “Well, we all know no one can resist his charm.”
Kea: “Why don’t you come sit right next to me, hun.
Ignore her. Let’s give the guys a chance to talk about
business, shall we?”
Alfred: “There is no need to hide anything from her.

She knows everything.”
They all looked at him and thought he’d say he was

kidding but he was dead serious. I looked at him and
tried my best not to show my confusion. What did he
mean I “knew” everything? What was this
“everything” he was referring to?”
Biggie: “Alfred, you know very well we don’t involve

just anyone in our crew.”
Alfred: “Lelo isn’t just anyone, she has skill and guts –
which is more than I can say for some of you here.”
Zoro: “Entlek (actually) I think we need a serious talk,

gents. Outside – now.”
Page 490 of 1871

The guys stood up and prepared themselves to walk
out leaving the girls in the house.
Alfred: “I’ll be right back, okay?”
I nodded and he left.
Priscilla: “Hmm, I have never seen Alfie so whipped.

Girl, what did you give him?”
Nombulelo: (blushing) “Oh, nothing. We’re just

friends.”
Kea: “That’s how it all starts, honey. Besides, no one

can resist that gangster type of love.”
Puse: “Kea, stop talking to her about those kind of

stuff. She’s clearly a child.”
Nombulelo: “I’m no child – I’m 17 turning 18 next

year.”
Puse: “See? You’re the only one around here with a

“teen” in their age.”
Page 491 of 1871

Priscilla: “Don’t mind her, really. She is just miserable.
Zoro has since proposed three years ago. I mean
surely that should have been a sign.”
I gathered that there was a bit of animosity amongst

the girls as well. They too didn’t like Puse much.
Puse: (clicking tongue) “Wena Priscilla o rata go iketsa

kaone ka nna (you like acting as if you’re better than
me).”
Priscilla: “That’s because I am. No one around here

throws tantrums the way you do.”
Kea: “Yes, more especially around Alfie’s girls. One

would swear you once gave him pussy.”
Priscilla: “Or better yet – you offered and he refused

your fat ass.”
She wasn’t exactly fat – just chubby. She just had such
a big mouth, though and wouldn’t stop talking.
Page 492 of 1871

Puse: (angrily) “Well, you guys just want to adopt yet
another charity case. I don’t need any more friends.
My list is long enough.”
Priscilla: “Correction, Puse, no one wants to be your

friend. So enough now.”
Kea: “Anyway, Lelo, do tell us where you’re from.”
Nombulelo: “Oh
I’m from Watville.”
Priscilla: “Hey, that’s my hood!”
Nombulelo: “Really? I haven’t seen you before. Small

world, I guess.”
Kea: “Well, all I am saying is that welcome to the club.

I can tell you’re one mean eater. You don’t beat
around the bush, do you?”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “No, I don’t.”
Priscilla: “I think Alfie has found a keeper this time.”
Page 493 of 1871

I was curious as to how many girls he had brought
along there before me. We weren’t even dating yet I
was starting to feel a little envious.
Puse: “So, I assume you’re in school now or are you

some sort of dropout who hangs around with
gangsters?”
So, Alfie was really a gangster? Oddly, it didn’t bother

me much.
Nombulelo: “Yes, I am going to matric next year. And

no, I am no dropout. I do physics, Life Science and
Accounting. There is no time to dropout of anything.”
Kea: “See, Puse? You have a thing or two to learn

from Lelo. If I have my numbers right, you dropped
out when? In grade 10, right?”
She clicked her tongue and ignored her question. The

guys finally came back and looked a lot calmer than
before they walked out earlier on. They all had wide
smiles on their faces.
Page 494 of 1871

Zoro: “Well, Nombulelo, I’d like to be the very first one
to congratulate you and to welcome you to our gang.
I can’t wait to see what more you are capable of.”
I wasn’t sure what he meant by gang; whether he

meant it literally or figuratively. Meanwhile Puse
wasn’t having it.
Puse: (angrily) “But Zoro, you can’t just – “
He raised his hand as a sign of dismissal and she kept

quiet immediately. I could tell that Zoro seemed like
the one in charge of their operations. He did look a
lot older than the rest, though.
Biggie: “I think we should toast.”
Alfred: “Good idea.”
Immediately after I was “welcomed” Alfie stood right

next to me. He seemed a lot different after their little
talk. He was more comfortable around me and a lot
more affectionate. I mean normally we were just
randomly holding hands at the mall. I couldn’t even
call it a regular thing since I had only known him for a
Page 495 of 1871

few days, but he occasionally held my hand and
touched my waist while we were with the friends.
While they handed out alcohol to everyone, he
stopped Diesel when he was about to give me a cider.
Alfred: “She doesn’t drink.”
He said that with great pleasure and an absolute

proud smile, while the girls were quite shocked – the
guys seemed to be even more impressed.
Diesel: “Well, then it would be so nice to have at least

one sober person around here.”
While they all laughed, Puse just continued to make a

nuisance of herself.
Puse: (annoyed) “Ag, don’t get so excited. She’s still a

child so she might change her mind in a year or two.”
Nombulelo: “No, I won’t.”
I was starting to get pissed at her comments and

everyone noticed.
Page 496 of 1871

Biggie: “It’s time for the braai, man. I’ve been waiting
on the meat. I’m starving.”
Kea: “Ai (oh), baby. I told you to lay off the meat. You
have to lose a little. O shiyana bjang ge o ya rounding
(how will you run while out on a job)?”
She sort of slipped so it seemed and they all looked at

me most probably waiting for a response. Little did I
know that those few seconds were going to
determine my role in that “gang”.
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “Bathong (goodness) Kea! I

honestly thought that Biggie was the getaway driver
amongst you guys!”
And that sealed the entire deal. They laughed out

loud and became more at ease though I had no idea
what exactly they did. I could tell that they were into
money – serious money. They enjoyed drinking and
eating lovely food and of course – they loved designer
clothing. I couldn’t recall seeing one of them dressed
in Mr. Price that day. As the day went by, we sat
outside while the guys braai’ed we ladies enjoyed
ourselves eating snacks and chatting away. Mrs. Party
Page 497 of 1871

pooper was on her phone and we didn’t mind. It was
finally nice to see her quiet.
Priscilla: “Hey, we should go make some salads before

the guys finish up.”
Kea: “Good idea. Lelo, let’s go.”
Puse wasn’t even asked to come along yet she did

anyway. So far I had gathered one thing; she was the
laziest and the rudest of the bunch. Priscilla was quite
straight forward and Kea too but she had a soft side.
She hated fights and drama. She had a limit. Priscilla
was my kind of girl; she wasn’t afraid of speaking her
mind and I could tell that should shit hit the fan, she
would go for anyone’s throat. We were in the kitchen
peeling some already cooked potatoes. I was very
good at cooking and I threw in a tip or two to spice up
the salads. They appreciated my input and I gelled so
well with them. I had only had one friend in my entire
life, which was Michelle. So it was so nice to finally
meet a different caliber of girls. Halfway through the
salads, Puse decided to ruin my entire day.
Page 498 of 1871

Kea: (laughing) “This reminds me of the very first day I
went to meet Diesel’s parents. Man, I was a wreck
and only 16! I tried mixing up something for them in
the kitchen only to burn the pap and the potatoes!”
The three of us laughed and Puse interrupted us

proudly.
Puse: “Hey, Lelo, you said you’re from Wattville,

right?”
I didn’t like her tone and judging by the weird smug

on her face, she must have seen something on her
phone.
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Yes, why?”
She just had to make the biggest mistake of her life

and show me her phone.
Puse: “This is your mom, right? Isn’t she the town

whore? I mean, no wonder you decided to join us at
the tender age of 17, dude. Your mom has kids all
over. You guys must be poor, hey? That dress is most
Page 499 of 1871

probably the most expensive thing you’ve ever worn
in your entire life.”
Kea and Priscilla were trying to contain the situation,

but my blood was boiling already.
Kea: “Shut the fuck up, Puse!”
Priscilla: “What the fuck do you even have against this

girl?! You literally just met her today.”
At that point in time, I had already told myself that I

didn’t give a damn if my relationship with Alfie and his
friends were to end before it hardly even began
flourishing. I needed to show that bitch who
Nombulelo Makeba was. I stared at her and started
breathing heavily. I most probably turned red even,
but she just smiled at me and thought that I was
bluffing.
Puse: (laughing) “Hey, I am just reading it all here on

Facebook. Nombulelo Makeba, the daughter of
Gugulethu Makeba – “
Page 500 of 1871

She didn’t even get to finish her little display of poor
journalism when I threw the bowl that was supposed
to accommodate the potato salad right at her face. I
was an excellent shooter. It hit her right in the face
and immediately broke as it landed on the floor. I
must have thrown it too hard at her because blood
immediately started to spill right from her forehead.
She started screaming out in pain, but I was just
getting started. I don’t know how I jumped on top of
the table from right across her, but I did and found
myself right next to her. I threw a few punches at her
and just as she was about to land onto the floor I
pulled her back and grabbed her by her braids. I
immediately grabbed the sink plug and tapped water
into the sink. Pricilla and Kea’s words and pleas were
falling on deaf ears. I didn’t hear them at all. I was
just so consumed by the rage I was feeling right inside
of me. The more that bitch screamed – the angrier I
became. Once the water was full enough, I forced her
head right in there and ensured it stayed there for a
while.
Priscilla started begging me to let her go and

screamed out to Diesel.
Page 501 of 1871

Priscilla: “Diesel! Baby! Thusang!”
The guys came rushing inside and found me drowning

one of their own. Alfie quickly pushed me aside and
Puse fell right onto the floor. It didn’t even dawn on
me that Zoro didn’t help her get up while she was
coughing for air. I was breathing heavily with my eyes
fixed on her. It was as if they had all seen the devil
judging by the way they looked at me.
Alfred: “Hey, Lelo. Look at me, look at me.”
It took me a while to look at him but after he snapped

his fingers to draw my attention to him, I finally looked
into his eyes and they brought me peace – slowly.
Alfred: “It’s okay. Calm down.”
I started breathing slower. Once they realized the

situation was under control, they started asking
questions.
Biggie: “What happened here?”
Page 502 of 1871

Puse: (coughing) “Can’t you see?! Alfie’s bitch tried to
kill me!”
Alfred: (angrily) “O bitsa mang sfebe wena (who are

you calling a bitch)?!”
Zoro: “Everyone, calm the fuck down. Kea, what

happened?”
It seemed as if Kea was the voice of reason.
Kea: “We were making the salads and just talking

when Puse started throwing insults at Lelo about her
and her mother. She went online and actually
searched about her, Zo.”
Zoro was livid. I thought he would be pissed at me,

but he seemed angry at her.
Zoro: “Wena (you) Puse, outside – now!”
He spoke with so much authority and she knew better

than not to follow him. Once those two were outside,
the rest of the guys saw it fit to apologize.
Page 503 of 1871

Diesel: “Lelo, I’d like to apologize for Puse’s behaviour.”
Biggie: “Me too. I don’t know why she always does

this whenever Mastermind brings a girl over. Please,
forgive her.”
Well, Alfie was called Mastermind and I was soon to

find out why.
Nombulelo: “Alfie, please take me home.”
I was so angry and down right embarrassed that I lost

my cool like that. I was mostly embarrassed because
of the things they would find out about my mother. I
could barely look Alfred in the eye. If Puse was
thinking all those things of me, what was Alfie
thinking? It must have been worse. There I was
pondering my mind about my future with Alfred
before we even became anything at all, yet he was
totally calm. He let me calm down and drove in
silence for a while. When he stopped right at my
gate, he finally spoke.
Alfred: “Are you okay?”
Page 504 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Yes.”
Alfred: “Let me see those hands.”
Nombulelo: “It’s not my first fight, I’ll live.”
I couldn’t look him in the eye and he noticed.
Alfred: “Hey, look at me. Look at me.”
I hesitated and finally looked him in the eye. There’s

just something about a man’s eyes that bring
vulnerability into play. The moment I saw the concern
and ease in his eyes, I became teary. I hated crying; I
never wanted people to see me cry.
Alfred: “Do you want to tell me what really happened

in there?”
Nombulelo: (teary) “She insulted my mother and I,

Alfred. She went on Facebook and searched for me
until she found me. Look, everyone has been talking
shit about my mother ever since I can recall. I
suppose you know what they say about her, about us
and I don’t expect you to stick around. Yes, I was
Page 505 of 1871

desperate when I met you. We need the money, but
it doesn’t give someone the right to call her a whore
and to call me poor.”
My voice started breaking as I said that last part.
Nombulelo: “She doesn’t even know me, Alfred. I just

got so upset. I was going to kill her.”
Alfred: “Hey, look at me – please.”
He gently held my face and wiped my tears off my

face. That was the very first time a man ever saw me
cry.
Alfred: “Did you honestly think that I wouldn’t do a

little research about you after I met you? I asked
around and I heard the rumours. I don’t care what
they say about you. We all have a lot going on in our
lives, but that doesn’t mean our circumstances define
us. Do you honestly think that I do crime because I
love it? I do it because I too want to improve my life,
my home situation as well. I completely understand
where you’re coming from Lelo, believe me I do. Puse
is a real pain in the ass – even Zoro knows it. Hence
Page 506 of 1871

we don’t blame you for beating her up like that. If
anything, she deserved it.”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “You’re just saying that

because you like me. Your friends will never forgive
me for doing that.”
He did the unthinkable as I was crying my eyeballs

out. His lips landed on mine. For the very first time I
tasted another man’s lips. I didn’t know what to do,
but of course, we all learn from the media. I kissed
him back, how? I have no idea. It was so beautiful, so
effortless and so gentle.
Alfred: “I am saying this because… Because I love

you.”
Well, typical black man mentality. They meet you and

a day later, you’re told that they love you. I wasn’t
even sure how to respond and I honestly thought that
I’d never date, but I just felt something inexplicable
within my stomach that day.
Alfred: “Why do you think my friends were so

accommodating to you today? I told them about you
Page 507 of 1871

the very day I met you. I have never met someone so
spontaneous, someone who just gives me such a
thrill, Lelo. You might be 17 but you have the brains
of a 21 year old if not older. You are more mature
than any girl I have ever met.”
That right there was him grooming me to become his

protégé. I had no idea at the time; love can truly blind
you. I was soon to learn that sometimes a man says
he loves you just to get his way.
As said in Provers 18:21 – “Death and life are in the

power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its
fruits.”
Chapter 29
Proverbs 12:18 – “There is one whose rash words are
like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings
healing”.
After me showing Alfie my austerity and him

proclaiming his love for me, I said my goodbyes. For
some odd reason, I was feeling diverged with what
was happening to me. I was seeing Alfie in a brand
new light; a light of having him as a love prospect, at
the same time I hated it. I had always heard that love
Page 508 of 1871

or dating itself made people more especially women
feeble. Even Michelle once told me that girls who are
in love tend to do senseless things. I sort of knew that
I was going to change in a way that I didn’t expect and
I couldn’t stop myself. Once he drove off, I only saw
Thapelo’s taxi in our yard once I closed the gate. See?
I was already doing stupid things. He was standing
right outside smoking.
Nombulelo: “Hi.”
Thapelo: “Hi. How are you?”
Nombulelo: “Well, thanks and you?”
Thapelo: “I am alright thanks. Where have you

been?”
Nombulelo: “Out.”
Thapelo: “With Mastermind?”
Hmm, even Thapelo knew him. Why was I not

surprised?
Page 509 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Uhm, yes. How is this news to you,
Thapelo?”
Thapelo: “Do you even know what you’re getting

yourself into, Lelo?”
Nombulelo: “Is this the part where you warn me
about the big, bad guy?”
Thapelo: (chuckling) “Okay, I see. No one could ever

resist his charm.”
He put off his cigarette and prepared himself to get

into the taxi.
Nombulelo: “What does he do?”
Thapelo: “Judging by the way you’re dressed, you

seem to already know the answer to that question.”
He got into the taxi without any further explanation

and started the taxi.
Nombulelo: “Wait, Thapelo – “
Page 510 of 1871

He didn’t seem interested to know what I wanted to
say or ask further.
Thapelo: “I wish you well in life, Lelo. See you

around.”
That was a clear indication that he wanted to leave. I

opened the gate for him and he drove off. Not once
did he look my direction as soon as he drove out. It
was as if he looked at me differently; like I repulsed
him or disappointed him. It honestly broke my heart.
When I walked into the house, I saw my sisters eating
dinner in front of the TV along with my mom.
Somebody had cooked for a change.
Michelle: “Hey. We made some steak and garlic rolls.

I saved some for you.”
Nombulelo: “Thanks, I’ll eat later.”
I was about to head to my room when my mom

stopped me.
Gugu: “Where are you going? I thought we could

talk.”
Page 511 of 1871

Nombulelo: “You should have thought of that before
you stole my clothes.”
With that said, I just walked straight to my room. I

didn’t even take a good look at her. When you are
ravaging with anger, you fail to see what’s in front of
you. I should have noticed, but I failed to. Once I was
in my room I saw a text from the bank. “Capitec:
+R1500. Ref: Alfie.” Instead of feeling worried, I
smiled to myself with sudden butterflies roaming
inside of my stomach. I was about to text him when
he immediately called me.
Nombulelo: “Hey.”
Alfred: “Hey, did you get the money?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I did, thanks, but what’s it for?”
Alfred: “You said you’re planning a big lunch on New

Year’s Day. I didn’t want you to be sad on that day.”
Nombulelo: “Thanks, Alfie, but you legit didn’t have

to.”
Page 512 of 1871

Alfred: “Hey, you’re my girl now. I have to make sure I
spoil you rotten or someone else will.”
Nombulelo: “Oh? I’m your girl now?”
Alfred: (chuckling) “I see. You want me to ask you out

officially? I can do that.”
Nombulelo: (giggling) “No, that won’t be necessary.”
Alfred: “Whatever my girl wants, my girl gets.”
Nombulelo: “Thank you for the money. I really

appreciate it.”
Alfred: “Any time. Let me know if you need more. I

will see you tomorrow.”
Nombulelo: “Tomorrow?”
Alfred: “Yes, I will check up on you later on in the day.

Bye for now.”
Nombulelo: “Bye.”
Page 513 of 1871

I hated keeping that secret from Michelle but knowing
my nosy neighbours they were going to spread the
story sooner or later. I went to refresh before heading
straight to bed. After all the drama that occurred that
day, I wasn’t in the mood to eat. When I was about to
get into bed, I heard a stern knock on my door. Before
I could answer, my mother walked in.
Gugu: “Hey, can we talk?”
Nombulelo: “No, we can’t. Please close the door on

your way out.”
Gugu: “Look, Nombu, I am sorry for the way I have

been behaving lately. It’s just that – all the stress of
the kids and barely being able to afford anything is
just frustrating me.”
Nombulelo: “Oh? Now you regret having so many

children? Do you know what they say about me –
about us out there?”
Page 514 of 1871

Gugu: “I know that, but people don’t help us with a
dime. They don’t buy us bread, Nombulelo. Only
God can judge me.”
Nombulelo: “There you go again, hiding behind God

again.”
Gugu: “I saw that boy. He’s no good for you.”
Nombulelo: “Yes, well, I will make that decision for

myself, thank you.”
Gugu: “Okay then. Good night.”
She was just being weird; since when did my mother

counsel me? She stopped doing that for a while. She
was not even interested in what I had for breakfast,
lunch nor supper and all of a sudden she was giving
me advice? I wasn’t having it. Yet again I missed the
signs. Something was deeply off with her and I just
didn’t notice. The following day came and it was
finally the end of a very awful year. I was just hopeful
and excited for the New Year and I only had well
wishes for myself and my sisters. I got up very early
that day since I knew I had a big lunch in mind for that
Page 515 of 1871

day. I thought of calling Thapelo but after how we
ended our conversation the previous night, I doubted
that he would even want to see my name appear on
his cellphone screen. So, I decided to call Alfie, or
should I say my boyfriend. He picked up after a few
rings.
Alfred: “Hey, baby.”
Nombulelo: “Hey, how are you?”
Alfred: “I am well and you?”
Nombulelo: “Fine thanks. Listen, I know it’s a holiday

today and I don’t mean to bother you, but could you
accompany me to the shops before they close? I’d
like to buy some ingredients for today.”
Alfred: “Say no more, babe. I will pick you up at 8 is

that okay?”
Nombulelo: “Sure, thanks.”
Alfred: “See you in a bit.”
Page 516 of 1871

I took a quick shower and asked Millicent and Nairobi
to clean the house. I hated a messy house. Of
course, my mom was not home that day. She most
probably went to see the babies or was drinking her
entire life away as always. Once I was dressed, I
waited outside for Alfred. I was dressed in my usual
clothes since mine were stolen by my mom. At that
point, I was unbothered about what I was wearing. I
assumed that Alfie was going to fetch me all alone,
but to my surprise he came along with the entire crew
– including Puse. They were all in a gray H1. He
hooted as he was the one driving.
Alfred: “Hey, baby.”
I was a bit nervous since they were all in the car, so I

faked a smile.
Nombulelo: “Hey…”
Alfred: “I hope you don’t mind. I brought the entire

crew with me.”
Nombulelo: (nervously) “No, I don’t mind.”
Page 517 of 1871

Zoro: “Tsena bathing (come in, please) before he ends
up begging for your hand in marriage.”
They all laughed yet again except the she-devil

herself. I had to sit alongside the girls at the back of
course since my Alfie was driving. I was not one to get
nervous but after the incident, I was unsure of how
they all felt about me. Seeing Zoro so chirpy put me a
little bit at ease. Biggie and Diesel greeted me very
warmly, along with Priscilla and Kea. When I saw Puse
sitting in the corner with heaps of make up and a
stitch on her forehead, I assumed I did that to her, but
it seemed as if she was hiding a few more bruises
around her arms. I did not do that to her. I must have
been staring at her when Diesel made a joke.
Diesel: “Oh, you really moered her, hey. She will be

quiet from now on.”
They all laughed including Zoro which sort of baffled

me. Clearly there was no love lost there.
Biggie: “I heard that you jumped all the way from your
side of the table, girl. You have skills.”
Page 518 of 1871

They laughed even further and I just kept quiet.
Kea: “Seriously, though, boo, she forgives you – don’t

you, Puseletso?”
Puse: “Ja, sure.”
Her response came out painfully but I didn’t care. I

was asking myself where we were actually going.
Surely they weren’t all going to accompany me on a
shopping trip.
Nombulelo: “So, ladies, what’s with the joy ride?”
Priscilla: “Oh, we’re going to get a few last minute

things for New Year’s since tomorrow is also a holiday,
you know.”
Kea: “Yes, a lot of shops are going to be closed and

we’ll be having our annual braai tomorrow. You’ll be
there, right?”
Puse: “She might as well move into our house while at

it.”
Page 519 of 1871

It was so hard for her to hide her hatred towards me,
shame.
Nombulelo: “Uh, sure, I suppose. But only if Alfie will

be there.”
Kea: “Girl, Alfie is always there. I heard you two are a

thing now. Congratulations.”
Puse: “Don’t get too comfortable.”
Priscilla: “Looks like someone wants another beating

from Lelo.”
Priscilla and Kea laughed while Puse just stared out

the window. We arrived at the mall and he parked
the car. It was as if he just couldn’t wait to come close
to me. He quickly got out of the car and rushed
towards our door. When I got out, he spun me
around and gave me one passionate kiss, much better
than the very first kiss he had given me the day
before.
Biggie: “Alright love birds, knock it off.”
Page 520 of 1871

Diesel: “Re tla reng (what can we say)? Ke (it’s) new
love.”
They all laughed and walked alongside their partners,

while Zoro walked way ahead of Puseletso. It was as if
they were an estranged married couple.
Nombulelo: “I hope I didn’t cause that.”
I said that while pointing at the two of them.
Alfred: “Don’t you worry, baby. Those two have had

their own problems long before you even appeared.”
Nombulelo: “Hmm, I hope I am the last girl you bring

into the gang. I hear you’re quite the catch.”
Alfred: “Are people already feeding you lies about

me?”
Nombulelo: “Not really. Thapelo told me that I should

be careful around you.”
Alfred: “Thapza? As in the Thapza the taxi driver?”
Page 521 of 1871

Nombulelo: “You know him?”
Alfred: “Yes, he has an old score to settle with me.”
Nombulelo: “What kind?”
Alfred: “Ag, his girlfriend left him for me back in the

day and he is still mad about it.”
I had always been very good at reading people and I

could tell that Alfred was being very selective about
the information he was giving me regarding the
situation at hand. He was clearly lying but I let it be.
As we walked into the mall, the guys and us girls split
into two groups.
Alfred: “Have fun with the girls and let me know if you
need more money, okay? I’ll see you in a bit.”
He gave me a kiss yet again and left.
Kea: “Oh, man. I remember when Biggie and I first

met. We were just as in love.”
Nombulelo: “It seems as if you still are, though.”
Page 522 of 1871

Kea: “Yes, well, after 6 years it becomes a bit harder to
spice things up, you know.”
Priscilla: “Speak for yourself

boo. Diesel and I are still madly in love with one
another. We go at it like rabbits. We cannot go a day
without sex – no ways. I only rest whenever I am on
my period.”
The two of them laughed while Puse was just quiet. I

actually pitied her. She was quite miserable for
someone so young.
Kea: “That’s understandable for you two I mean you

both go to the gym regularly while Biggie just loves his
booze and meat. The best he can do is just two
rounds every other day. I am already used to it,
though.”
Priscilla: “I’d die.”
Kea: “And? Why are you so quiet, Lelo? I mean of

course, it is way too early for you to be talking of sex
Page 523 of 1871

with Alfie but you mean to tell me you aren’t even a
little curious as to how he tastes?”
I started feeling a little flushed and I could tell my face

was already giving me away.
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Oh, uh, I don’t…”
Shit. I didn’t even know what to say. At that moment

Puse stopped and actually looked at me.
Priscilla: “You mean to tell me that you’re a virgin?”
I nodded embarrassed. I mean, I wasn’t ashamed of

being one, I was just embarrassed having to admit to
them.
Kea: (shocked) “Girl, that’s amazing! I applaud you,

really.”
Nombulelo: “You do?”
Priscilla: “Of course we do. I mean, it’s not everyone

who can stay so faithful to themselves. Staying away
from boys is really hard, hey – more especially when
Page 524 of 1871

you are a teenager. Alfie had better not hear that
you’re a virgin otherwise he will fall even harder for
you. Don’t tell him – at least not now.”
Nombulelo: “Surely he won’t judge me for being one.

It won’t be a problem, will it?”
Kea: “No, it won’t. And if he truly loves you – he will

wait until you’re ready to have sex. No one should
rush you into it.”
Priscilla: “It’s hard for gangsters to stay faithful hey,

since they have bitches flocking all over them on a
daily basis, but you stick to what you believe in.”
I didn’t really believe in anything. I just wasn’t

interested in sex until I started dating.
Nombulelo: “So, they are really gangsters?”
Priscilla: (laughing) “Girl, what on earth did you think

they do? Do they even look like they have ever held
jobs in their entire lives?”
Page 525 of 1871

Kea laughed. I was a bit worried about the whole
gangster term. Puse must have noticed because her
big mouth went open again. She clearly wanted me
to think of running away.
Puse: “Clearly Alfred didn’t tell you why we call him

Mastermind. He is the master mind of it all. He plans
all the heists and hijackings. He knows all the ropes,
the ins and outs and has inside men everywhere.”
I was a bit shocked, but I was ntWe went into Woolies

and bought a few items. Afterwards, we went to a
nearby butchery and bought a lot of meat. After that,
Puse dared me to do something. Clearly she wanted
to see what I was capable of.
Puse: “Since Mastermind speaks so highly of you, let’s
see what you’re made of.”
Priscilla: “Knock it off, Puse. He won’t like this.”
Kea: “Yes, and today is just a shopping day for us. You
don’t get to call the shots.”
Page 526 of 1871

Nombulelo: “It’s okay, really.”
Priscilla: “No, it’s reckless.”
Puse: “Let’s see if she is actually good with some

shoplifting. It is harmless fun after all, right?”
That girl was playing. I had better skills than some

lousy shoplifting, though I hadn’t done it before, but I
wanted to show her that she was absolutely nothing
to me. I went into the nearest clothing store without
a clue on what to do. I checked all angles of the
cameras and made sure that I didn’t face them
whatsoever. The store was busy, so it was a huge
advantage to me. I picked up a few clothing items and
went into the fitting room. I changed and put some
of them on underneath my original clothes, leaving
some items to make it look like they were the only
ones I took to fit. I waited a few minutes until the
employee who was watching the fitting room lost
sight. She was called out for a brief moment and I
took the chance and walked out. As I was about to
walk out, I heard her calling me.
Page 527 of 1871

Employee: “Excuse me, miss? I didn’t check your
clothes.”
That was not the time to start panicking. I thought of

the only stunt I could pull off. I forced out my
crocodile tears.
Nombulelo: (shouting) “There’s someone with a gun

in the fitting room! I saw him, he has a gun!”
I wasn’t even sure if my stunt was going to work, but

the moment people heard the word “gun” they
started moving swiftly out the door. It is amazing
what people do under severe panic. I wasn’t going to
walk out with just mere clothing items that I stole, so I
took the chance to pick pocket people amongst the
chaos while at the door. At that point I didn’t care if
the cameras got a clear view of me or not, my entire
move was focused on proving Puse wrong – which
was a really bad move on my part. People were being
evacuated from all shops as they heard there was a
gunman inside of the clothing store. With all the
havoc happening daily, one couldn’t risk it by thinking
it wasn’t true. We too walked out swiftly and rushed
to the car. Puse was waiting on me like a driving
Page 528 of 1871

instructor waiting to tell someone that they had failed
their driver’s test.
Puse: “And?”
I took off my clothes and threw each and every item

at her that I took from the shop. She gave me a bland
look on her face.
Puse: “Hmm, impressive.”
When I took out all the wallets and purses I stole –

about 5 of them, the three of them were totally
shocked. Of course, she tried to hide hers, but I could
see right through her.
Priscilla: “You took all those?”
Kea: “Eish (oh), Alfred won’t like this.”
A few minutes later, the guys came hurrying swiftly to

the car.
Page 529 of 1871

Alfred: “Where were you guys? We were looking all
over for you.”
Biggie: “We heard that there’s a gunman in one of the

shops.”
Kea: “There was no gunman at all. Puse dared

Nombulelo to go shoplift, and she started the entire
rumour.”
The guys all looked at me and then at Puse.
Zoro: “She did what?!”
Biggie: “Master, start the car, we can deal with this

later.”
I could see just how angry and rather disappointed

Alfred was as he was staring at me through the
rearview mirror. The drive back to Zoro’s house was
just something else. It was very quiet and tensions
were running high. It seemed as if they were mad at
me, but Puse had dug yet another hole for herself.
Once we got to the house, Zoro could hardly contain
his anger towards her. She was sitting at the far back
Page 530 of 1871

and once we were all out of the car except her, he did
the unthinkable. It was as if she knew what was
coming by the way she was sitting so anxiously at the
back. Zoro jumped into the car, closed the door and
locked it and started beating Puseletso so horridly I
could hardly contain the shock in my eyes. We heard
her screaming and begging for mercy, while the rest
of the crew was just watching. She wasn’t my
favourite person, but to stand there and watch a man
beat a woman up so mercilessly? That was not going
to be my thing.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Why are you all just standing

there and doing nothing?!”
Biggie: “We don’t get involved in people’s fights, Lelo.”
Diesel: “Let them be.”
Nombulelo: “Alfred! You also condone this shit?! A

whole man beating a woman up?! A woman he
claims that he loves?!”
Alfred: “No, babe, I – “
Page 531 of 1871

Nombulelo: “If you don’t stop that – I will leave.
Consider this thing between us over.”
He could see just how livid I was, along with Priscilla

and Kea.
Priscilla: “Yes, she has a point. It’s not right.”
Kea: “Puse is not the best person around, but Zoro

has no right to do that to her. He already beats her up
so badly.”
Alfred unlocked the car and forcibly removed Zoro

from the car. He was so angry that he wanted to fight
Alfie as well.
Zoro: “Leave me, man! Do you want to get involved in

my matters?! She is mine and I will solve her the way
I see fit!”
I got into the car and decided to be the bigger

person. She was bleeding so badly that her stitch was
re-opened.
Nombulelo: “I’m sorry.”
Page 532 of 1871

Puse: (crying) “What for?! For being the next best
thing since sliced bread?”
Nombulelo: “Look, Puse, right now I am the only

person who saved your ass from dying today. I don’t
get why you don’t like me and quite frankly I don’t
care. Right now, you have to think about yourself and
your kids. You shouldn’t succumb to beatings every
time you mess up. Sure, you are a pain in the ass, but
no woman deserves to get beaten by a man like that.
If he can already beat you up so badly in front of his
friends, who will respect you then? Just think about
your kids if you don’t value your life that much.”
That’s all I said and I walked out. I was so angry at

everyone, more especially the males that I didn’t say a
word further to them.
Nombulelo: “Please take me home.”
Alfred: “We’ll go in a minute, I just need to sort

something out.”
Page 533 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Don’t bother, I’ll take a taxi. I’ll see you
around, girls.”
Priscilla and Kea greeted me goodbye without even

knowing where I stood with their crew. Alfred was so
shocked he begged me to stay a little longer, but I
took my plastic bags and left all the clothes and
wallets I stole back at the mall and walked out of that
yard. Silly me, I didn’t even have cash on me yet I was
determined to catch a taxi. I walked a little further,
hoping to request an Uber, when a rather familiar taxi
stopped right beside me. It was Thapelo.
Nombulelo: “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re

stalking me.”
Thapelo: (chuckling) “I’m too old for that. Going

somewhere?”
Nombulelo: “I am actually looking for an Uber back

home, but the app is down. If you can, please drop
me off at the nearest ATM to get cash for a taxi.”
Thapelo: “Don’t be like that. Get in.”
Page 534 of 1871

Nombulelo: “No, I don’t want to trouble you.”
Thapelo: “Get in before my passengers start

complaining.”
My grandmother used to say that God works in

mysterious ways; He has a given plan set out for each
and everyone of us. He takes his time to work in your
life and he always sends guardian angels in human
form to sort of keep guard and watch over us. That
person for me was Thapelo. At the time I didn’t see it
because I was so consumed with my own life. I had
no idea that God would use me for something greater
in life despite me not even believing in Him. He
ensures that He puts you in situations that you can
see His work – even if it means a life-threatening
situation. I got into Thapelo’s taxi – not that I had a
choice. Well, Alfie didn’t even run after me at that
point, but what did I expect from a gangster? He
drove me straight home without even complaining. I
was actually relieved that he had passengers in the
taxi; that way he couldn’t lecture me about Alfie and
his crew.
Nombulelo: “Thanks for the ride.”
Page 535 of 1871

Thapelo: “Can I come by later on for a plate of your
lovely food?”
Nombulelo: “Of course. Bye.”
I got off and went into the yard. Thanks to Alfie, I was
way behind on schedule, so I had to ask my sisters to
assist. They could not eat nice food for free and reap
the benefits of my hard labour. They assisted me with
the chopping and everything else I needed – except
touching the food. I was always very particular with
my food and I didn’t want nonsense. I loved having
my food prepared a certain way. It took me an entire
4 hours to prepare my entire meal. Throughout the
preparation, Alfie was calling me endlessly and I was
just not interested. I didn’t respond to his calls. All I
had in mind was the meal I had to prepare and the
New Year ahead. I tried by all means to put whatever
happened that day on a back burner. The entire time
I thought if Zoro could do that to Puse, the mother of
his children, then they all were capable of doing that
to the rest of us, right? My sisters helped me with
setting the table and finally getting the food on the
table. Not once in my mind did I wonder why my
Page 536 of 1871

mom wasn’t home yet at that time. She never missed
New Year’s Eve – not one single one. She could party
the entire year through but not miss New Year’s. I just
assumed that she was with the triplets and wanted
them to feel her presence as we transitioned into the
New Year. We dug into our food and had a lovely
meal.
Nairobi: “Hmm, tjo (wow), this is the best meal you

have ever made for us, sis. I mean wow! I wish I
could cook like you.”
Millicent: (laughing) “Yeah, right. You can’t even boil

an egg to save your own life, Nairobi.”
Nairobi: (clicking tongue) “Mxm, wa bora wena

(you’re so boring). So, sesi (sis), didn’t you maybe buy
us a bottle of wine or champopo (champagne)
nyana?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t drink and that should apply for

the rest of you – at least until you can afford to buy
your own alcohol. Should I give you any money and
you decide to buy alcohol with it, I will break you
without even thinking twice.”
Page 537 of 1871

They knew I was serious. I hated alcohol with a
passion. They were so young and yet thought that
alcohol was the next best thing since sliced bread. I
always thought about what it did to my own mother.
It just really scarred me for life. The entire time I
thought of what was coming. I was starting to
envision myself in Varsity studying towards my
Accounting degree. I was just passionate about
numbers and I had a lot of options but it remained my
number one. I just thought of big things awaiting my
siblings and I, but little did I know that I was not going
to reach those dreams. Bad choices are always made
though we are always given a choice between the
good and bad ones. We so often make the bad
choices because they are the easiest ones to make,
but have the most detrimental consequences. My
grandmother always said that one should speak life
unto thyself and everything we do. She said that if
you speak life unto your things then good shall follow
you, but the power of the tongue can be the most
dangerous weapon used.
James 3:8 – “But no human being can tame the

tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”
Page 538 of 1871

Chapter 30
3 John 1:2 – “Beloved, I pray that all may go well with
you and that you may be in good health, as it goes
well with your soul.”
For a change I had such a good time with my siblings.
We actually had such good conversation and I
managed to chip in a life lesson or two for them.
Nombulelo: “Since everyone is making New Year’s

resolutions, what are yours?”
Millicent: “Well, I just want to do really well in high

school. I can’t wait.”
Nairobi: “Ag, I just want to have a nice life, hey. I can’t

wait to be done with school. I’d love to go on holidays
and have actual money.”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Is that it? It sounds to me as

if you’re wishing for a blesser.”
They both laughed.
Nairobi: “All I mean is that I’d love a soft life. Is that a

bad thing to wish for?”
Page 539 of 1871

Nombulelo: “A soft life is earned by hard work. You
don’t get to wait for a man to give you one.”
Nairobi: “I hear you, sis. I hear you.”
We went about the rest of the day having quality

sibling fun without our toxic mother around. They
even helped me clean up and we left some food for
later. Indeed, Thapelo came to my house around 8pm
and parked right outside.
Thapelo: “Hello! May I come in?”
Thapelo: “How are you guys? I do hope you did save

some for me.”
Nombulelo: “There’s plenty left in the kitchen.”
Millicent: “I’ll dish up for you.”
Thapelo: “Do you mind if I spend a few hours here? I

never get to spend New Year’s with anyone really.”
Page 540 of 1871

Thapelo: “You also don’t mind if I drink a little, do

you? I have my own six pack in the car.”
Nombulelo: “Of course not.”
Thapelo: “Cool, I’ll go get it.”
Millicent: “No need. I’ll go get it for you.”
She went to the taxi and got his beers for him and
even put the rest in the fridge as she handed one to
him. He dug in and couldn’t stop praising my
cooking. He then started getting to the real reason
why he was there.
Thapelo: “So, firstly, I’d like to apologize for my abrupt

rudeness yesterday.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, it’s okay. You weren’t being rude,

just honest.”
Page 541 of 1871

Thapelo: “No, I was rude. It’s just that – I was very
shocked to hear that you’re dating Mastermind.”
Oh, what did I expect? News travels fast.
Nombulelo: “Oh…”
Thapelo: “I must admit, at first, I was really jealous. It

really hit me – hard. I couldn’t understand what you
saw in him and why you weren’t even trying to look at
me that way. What I am trying to say is that, he is not
a good guy, but I am not the one to tell you that. I
don’t want it to be like I am trying to get you to be
with me instead of him. I respect your decision, Lelo
and I will still be here should you need me around.”
That was really nice of him to even offer his assistance

despite his feelings. I was really humbled by that.
Nombulelo: “I am honestly grateful that you said that,

Thapelo. The last thing I want is to lose you as a
friend.”
Page 542 of 1871

Thapelo: (nodding) “I am used to rejection – no
offence. I just want to be there for you whenever you
need my help, that’s all.”
Nombuleo: “I truly appreciate it.”
Thapelo nodded and continued digging into his food.

He was so relaxed so I just had to ask.
Nombulelo: (clearing throat) “I have to ask, about

what you said yesterday – “
He didn’t even let me finish my sentence as if he

knew what I wanted to ask about.
Thapelo: (interjecting) “I know what you want to

know. You want to ask what I meant by what I said
about Mastermind, isn’t it?”
I nodded anxiously.
Thapelo: “I mean, surely you know, but I will tell you

anyway. He is a gangster; a hardcore one. He robs
and steals – I am not talking of petty crime, I am
talking of serious carjacking and ATM bombings. They
Page 543 of 1871

call him Mastermind because he is the real master of
each plan. I don’t know how he does it, but he has
always been good at it.”
Well, he told me things I expected him to say. I wasn’t

that shocked, really. I expected him to say that he was
one serious gangster.
Nombulelo: “So, he is not like dangerous or anything,

right?”
Thapelo: (frowning) “Has a gangster who hijacks

people ever been “not dangerous”?”
I had no idea how to respond to that.
Nombulelo: “Has he killed people?”
Thapelo: “What do you think? Only he can answer

that question for you. It wouldn’t be right if I told you
such things.”
Nombulelo: “He said that you and him have history.”
Page 544 of 1871

Thapelo: (chuckling) “Well, if you want to call him
stealing my girlfriend from me and making her
pregnant history then I guess you could call it that.”
That was a bit of a shock. That was not what Alfie told
me. He could probably tell from the shock written on
my face that I was unaware of the entire situation.
Thapelo: “Oh, you didn’t know, did you?”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “No. That’s not what he

said to me.”
Thapelo: “Well, I also wouldn’t tell my new girlfriend

that. All I am saying is that you need to be really
careful, that’s all.”
He wasn’t prepared to explain any further, so I let him

be. I supposed that the only person who could
answer those questions was indeed Alfie. He stayed
there even after the fireworks went off and it was
finally a New Year. We were so delighted; a new
beginning always gives people hope. My sisters went
to bed and I stayed up a bit longer with Thapelo.
While we were chatting away about random things, I
Page 545 of 1871

received another call from Alfred of which I ignored.
He then sent me a text immediately afterwards. “So,
you have been ignoring my texts because you’re busy
having fun with Thapza?” I suddenly got goosebumps
and started looking around. I thought that perhaps
he was stalking me or something.
Thapelo: “What is it? Is that him?”
I nodded anxiously.
Thapelo: “He probably saw my taxi right outside.

Don’t worry, he is not stalking you if that’s what you’re
thinking.”
I sighed in relief.
Thapelo: “I should get going before he starts getting

the wrong idea. Call me whenever you need me,
okay?”
I was thankful for him and I hugged him as we

normally would. He went straight to his taxi and
drove off. I then saw Alfie’s Polo parked right behind
the taxi. I walked to his car and got in.
Page 546 of 1871

He was dressed in all black and had gloves on. He

didn’t seem very impressed with me.
Alfred: (sternly) “Why weren’t you answering my

calls?”
Nombulelo: “I was quite busy today, I’m sorry.”
Alfred: “Oh? But not too busy for Thapza, right?”
Alfred: “How odd is it that I find you here with him in

your yard? How long has he been here? Or are you
dating him too?”
I was getting really irritated by his behaviour. I wasn’t

one to be shoved around like that.
Nombulelo: (irritably) “You listen to me, Alfred and

you’d better listen to me very well. If you are going to
rock up here after midnight every single time just to
Page 547 of 1871

tell me nonsense, then you and I won’t work out. I
have enough on my plate already. I don’t need you
spilling this shit on me. You have no right actually to
speak to me like that. If you have an issue, address it
properly with me or rather call it quits.”
He could see the seriousness in my eyes. I was not

about to be played by a boy like that – more especially
my very first relationship.
Alfred: “Listen, I am sorry, baby, okay? I didn’t mean it

like that. It’s just that – everyone talks so badly about
me and I just don’t want you to be caught up in that
mess. I don’t want you to end up believing them and
then lose you.”
Nombulelo: “I might not have any experience dating

at all, but I do expect you to respect me, Alfred. Don’t
talk to me like I am some kind of girl you picked up on
the street. If you are going to use my circumstances
as a basis for abuse – then we should rather leave
things.”
Alfred: “Hey, hey, come on now. I said I am sorry. I do

respect you. The last thing I want is for you to be
Page 548 of 1871

angry at me. Look, I don’t have a lot of good history
with girls and I just want to make things work with
you. Just, give me a chance.”
Nombulelo: “Okay, but I swear, if you try to pull a

stunt like Zoro did with Puse, I will not hesitate to cut
your balls off.”
He laughed out loud.
Alfred: “Relax, I will never even think of laying a hand

on you. I did speak to him and the entire crew about
it. He feels embarrassed to say the least. We
shouldn’t treat women like that irregardless of who
we are and what they did.”
Nombulelo: “You’d better mean it.”
Alfred: “Of course I do

Lelo. Don’t be like that. Now come closer and give
me a kiss.”
I got a little shy as he said that.
Alfred: “Please.”
Page 549 of 1871

I got closer to him and we started kissing again. I
wasn’t even sure if I was doing it right, but he was not
complaining so I suppose I was. With each time that
we kissed, I felt a lot more differently; more in love if I
should say that.
Nombulelo: “Where do you come from dressed like

this?”
Alfred: “Do you want the truth or you want me to

sugarcoat it?”
Nombulelo: “The truth.”
Alfred: “Ke tswa roundong le majita (I went on a job

with the guys).”
Nombulelo: “What kind?”
Alfred: “I had intel on something, but we have to go

back. My inside guy was not on duty tonight. I’ll tell
you all about it. I am starving. Do you mind if we go
to my place and chill a little bit?”
Page 550 of 1871

That was odd. I had never gone to a guy’s place
before. I was a bit nervous. Did that mean he wanted
sex?
Nombulelo: “I still have some leftovers if you want

some.”
Alfred: “How about you pack it away in a lunchbox for

me and we go chill together?”
He probably noticed my nerves.
Alfred: “Only if it is okay with you. I just want to be

with you, that’s all – no funny business.”
I wasn’t too sure if I should have told him that I had

never had sex before, but it felt like the right time to
avoid any expectations.
Nombulelo: “I have to tell you something.”
Alfred: “Okay.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “I… I’m a virgin…”
Page 551 of 1871

Alfred: (smiling) “I know.”
Nombulelo: (surprised) “They told you?”
Alfred: “No one told me, babe. I just know. And I am

glad you told me. I won’t pressure you into anything
you don’t feel comfortable in. You will decide when
you feel ready to do that with me. For now, I am just
happy that you are here with me.”
I was actually relieved. We were reaching a new stage

in our relationship; a stage of transparency. I wasn’t
too sure how open he was with me, but I was glad
that I wasn’t hiding anything from him. I quickly went
into the house and packed him some food and off we
went to his house in Boksburg. I was very surprised to
see that he had his own house and was not living in
his parents’ backyard or something. I mean, he was
only 21. It was night time and believe me, the house
looked totally beautiful in the night. I couldn’t stop
aweing it.
Nombulelo: “Are you sure this is really your house?”
Page 552 of 1871

Alfred: (chuckling) “Yes, why would I lie to you about
that? We need space where we can bond on our own
away from all the drama.”
Nombulelo: “How come you always meet up at Zoro’s

house?”
Alfred: “It’s always been like that. Zoro is the oldest

amongst us and we treat him like our own brother.
He is wiser than he seems and he really found us
when we were at our lowest.”
He was really emotional as he spoke of that. There I

was thinking perhaps I as judging him but really, he
was just a broken boy battered by the system and had
to make ends meet.
Nombulelo: “Do you have any siblings?”
Alfred: “I’ll tell you all about it after I eat. Is that okay
with you?”
I nodded as I switched on the TV and watched some

Netflix, while he was eating my food. He couldn’t stop
raving about it and I was truly glad. It may seem like
Page 553 of 1871

just a normal moment but for me it felt like the most
intimate moment for me. I really loved it. After he
was done eating, he went to get a beer for himself
and a bottle of appletizer for me. He enjoyed eating
in silence which was really nice. He sat right next to
me again and embraced me with his one arm.
Alfred: “So, where’s your mom? Won’t she be

worried about you sleeping out?”
I didn’t even agree to sleeping out though it was

around 1am.
Nombulelo: “Who said anything about sleeping out?”
Alfred: “Ah, baby, I hate sleeping alone. I just want

you near me, that’s all.”
Nombulelo: “Well, she is still at the hospital with the

triplets. She doesn’t have time for us right now.”
Alfred: “I see. Well, to answer your question, I do

have siblings – four of them. I am the only son
amongst all my sisters. To top it all off, I am the first
born.”
Page 554 of 1871

Nombulelo: (surprised) “That’s rough.”
Alfred: “My father left my mother when she was

pregnant with my last born sister. It was just a mess.
She told us he died to spare us the trouble, only for
him to reappear with his wife and other children years
later. I was only 13 at the time. To make matters
worse he was the perfect father to them and an even
perfect husband to her. They were the ideal family;
going to church every Sunday and he was spending all
his time with her after work. I was envious and
furious. What really drove me over the edge is seeing
what it did to my mother. They were all going to nice
schools and were visibly well taken care of, while we
were struggling. My mom couldn’t handle it. She was
in and out of hospital. I remember the very first time
she saw him enter that church with her. Her entire
mood changed that day and she collapsed on our way
home. She was never the same since then.”
I could see how he was fighting the tears back as he

was narrating his story to me.
Page 555 of 1871

Alfred: “Ever since then, I vowed to make life easier
for her. I didn’t want her bending backwards for us
anymore. I didn’t want her working for white people
while we didn’t have the warmth of our mother in the
house. So, I became a thief. I am not proud of it, but
look where I am now. I built my mother and siblings a
house and now I have my own. My mother doesn’t
care what people say about me. She’d be damned if
someone called me a gangster. I took her out of
poverty and gave her a life worth living.”
Well, I couldn’t exactly blame his mom for refusing to

accept that her son was indeed a thief. He did give
her the world, though.
Nombulelo: “I’m sorry you had to go through that,

Alfie.”
Alfred: “It’s okay. I guess what I am saying is that I

know what you’re going through. Everyone used to
make a laughing stock of us when we were dressed in
torn clothes, but today they all praise me and want to
be my friend. That is black people for you. You will
get up from this situation. I am just saddened that
you are a female and you already have so much to
Page 556 of 1871

carry on your shoulders. I have never met anyone as
resilient as you, Lelo. You are going somewhere. You
just have to believe in yourself.”
I truly felt at that given point that Alfred was the ideal
man for me. He seemed perfect; he was attentive,
transparent and very supportive of my dreams.
Despite what brought us together, he truly wanted
the best for me. At least that is what I truly believed
at that time. I had no idea at the time that I was
unwittingly glorifying and justifying him being a
gangster. I had become part of some sort of culture
that was intensely approving the wrong things which
in turn made me the person I grew up to be. No one
is proud to be a criminal unless they are totally
insane. We had a really peaceful time together as we
watched some tv. Somehow we dozed off and I found
myself in bed next to him a few hours later when he
woke me up. I actually jumped up a little in fear
because I didn’t know how I got there.
Alfred: “Hey, relax. We didn’t do anything.”
Nombulelo: “How did I get here?”
Page 557 of 1871

Alfred: “I carried you here.”
As big as I was he had the strength to carry me. He

was probably used to carrying some serious cargo
while on a job so why was I surprised?
Nombulelo: (relieved) “Oh, okay.”
Alfred: “I made you some breakfast. Are you coming

to eat?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, in a minute.”
He nodded and left me alone for a few minutes. I was

quite nervous, I had no idea why. I mean the thought
of a man seeing me naked in the future seemed all
too surreal for me. I was nowhere near ready for
such. I quickly checked my phone for any missed calls
and oddly enough none came through from my
mother. I wasn’t that surprised but she never missed
a New Year’s with us – ever. I didn’t want to believe
that something was horribly wrong. In my mind, she
was just being the same old bitch. I went to the
kitchen and the aroma of the food was just lovely. He
had prepared a nice, greasy English breakfast for me.
Page 558 of 1871

We sat down and ate together in perfect silence. I
never saw myself as anyone’s wife, really but I could
get used to that, or so I thought. After we were done
eating he drove me back home. At that point, I didn’t
have a care in the world as to who saw me coming
out of the car. I kissed him goodbye and went into the
house. My sisters had even cleaned and the house
looked spotless. I found Millicent playing with her
phone in front of the TV. I greeted her and went to
check if my mother was in her room, only to find the
bedroom was exactly the way I had left it the previous
day.
Nombulelo: “Where’s mom?”
Millicent: “Oh, I thought you knew. She didn’t come

home last night.”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Not even this morning?”
Millicent: (shaking head) “No. Do you think she went

out drinking? I mean, she never misses New Year’s
with us.”
Page 559 of 1871

Nombulelo: (worried) “Perhaps she slept at the
hospital.”
I didn’t want her to see how worried I was, so I just

remained calm.
Nombulelo: “Let’s wait for her to come back today. If

not, we’ll start looking, okay?”
Millicent: (nodding) “Where were you last night?”
Nombulelo: “Out with a friend.”
Millicent: “Sis are you dating now?”
Nombulelo: “No and stop asking me such. I’m way

older than you.”
She nodded and let me be. I went to my bedroom to

take a shower and sleep for a while. I struggled
sleeping that morning. My grandmother had been
gone for so many years and hardly ever visited me,
but that very morning I had a dream about her. All I
could remember her telling me was “You need to stay
strong, Nombulelo, tougher times are coming. It is up
Page 560 of 1871

to you to choose which path to take.” She repeated
those words for a few times before I woke up feeling
soaked. I checked my phone and it was exactly
midday; 12pm on the dot. I looked around in my bed
and it was soaking wet. I rushed towards the mirror
and I was soaked in sweat. I was not one to sweat,
but that dream; my grandmother. It all was
connected. I was not a firm believer in God, I mean I
was yet to receive the miracles everyone was talking
about every now and then. My grandmother visiting
me that day really put me off. Everything just didn’t
make sense for the rest of the day. I was just cranky
and angry at anything and everything. I got up
eventually and started cooking. Halfway through
getting vegetables out of the fridge and the pots
ready, I had already broken two glasses and let one of
the pots fall. I accidentally cut myself in the process,
making me even more annoyed.
Millicent: “Are you okay, sesi (sis)?”
Nombulelo: (angrily) “No! I don’t get why I always do

the cooking around here! You and Nairobi are old
enough to make your own food! You cook tonight!”
Page 561 of 1871

I got so upset at myself for responding to her like that,
and I walked out. I had a dishcloth in my hand trying
to minimize the bleeding in my hand caused by the
slight cut I got from the kitchen knife. My
grandmother’s words were forcefully replaying
themselves in my head. While I was sitting in the yard
angry and who knows what, I saw a taxi dropping
someone off just outside. The gate opened slightly,
slower than usual. I lifted my head and saw my own
mother. Seeing her that day; looking the way she
looked – I just nearly cried.
Gugu: (softly) “Hi, Nombu.”
Those words looked like they were really hard to

release. She looked awful. I could feel myself swallow
the coarse saliva as if it was ripping my throat open
slowly.
Nombulelo: (slowly) “Mama…”
Gugu: “I’m going to take a nap. See you when I wake

up.”
Page 562 of 1871

The babies were not with her. Why on earth did she
look like that and how come I never noticed? Was I
that awful to her?
As said in 1 Peter 2:24 – “He himself bore our sins in

his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live
to righteousness. By his wounds you have been
healed.”
Chapter 31
Proverbs 17:22 – “A joyful heart is good medicine, but
a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
I was pacing up and down ever since my mother

came back home. I felt this really disquieting feeling
overwhelm me. All sorts of adverse feelings were
consuming me and it felt like my worst fear was about
to come true; the intense dread of loss. I couldn’t
imagine losing my mother. She was not a very good
mother to me but she was the only mother I had left.
Who was I going to lean on now? One always feels
placated by the thought of having a parent – even
though they are horrible. Not everyone, but most of
us feel that way. I had no idea who my father was and
I was already thinking that I was going to be an
orphan. Already I was thinking of the worst and one
Page 563 of 1871

would have thought that I was bursting with
fretfulness, but I knew deep down that it was final. It
was going to happen. While I was pacing in the
corridors, my sisters were watching TV though I could
tell they were both anxious. I was doing so because I
was waiting my mother to wake up so I could ask her
what was happening. All of a sudden I heard her
cough briefly and the sound of vomiting came from
her room. I rushed in there and was met with so
much horror. I had never seen such vomit in my life. I
was consumed with fear, but I tried my best not to
show it. I rushed to the bathroom to get a bucket and
she spilled a few more vomit from her gut. It was
horrible. The stench was unbearable and she literally
smelled like an ill person.
Gugu: (tiresome) “Thank you.”
She could even say thank you. That was something

new. I rushed to get a mop and some water after
disposing of the contents inside of that bucket and
removed what I could from the floor.
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Are you ready to tell me

what is really going on?”
Page 564 of 1871

Gugu: (breathing heavily) “I’m ill, my child. As you can
see.”
Nombulelo: “What’s wrong with you?”
Gugu: “It’s nothing for you to concern yourself about.

You just need to focus on getting an education.”
Nombulelo: “Are you being serious right now?! You

look like death is looming yet you don’t want to tell
me what is wrong with you?!”
I could feel myself seething all over again. My temper

had always been a problem.
Gugu: “Nombulelo, please. You just worry about

getting an education.”
I swallowed hard and painfully so as I looked at her in

wholesome distrust.
Gugu: (softly) “Please get me some water. I am so

thirsty.”
Page 565 of 1871

I just got up and rushed to the kitchen furiously. I
opened that poor tap so harshly and let the water
rush vigorously into the glass. Millicent found me
deep in thought.
Millicent: “Sesi (sis), is mom going to be okay?”
I could see the tears looming in her eyes. I had to play

it carefully though she could see the apprehension in
my eyes. The last thing I ever wanted to do was
burden my siblings. They had too much to deal with
anyway.
Nombulelo: “Hey, she is going to be fine. She is just

overburdened from traveling up and down to see the
triplets. She is going to be okay.”
Just when I thought I had the situation all figured out,

she burst into tears. I hated seeing her cry, more
especially after what we both went through. I held
her closely and reassured her.
Millicent: (crying) “I don’t want to lose her, Nombu. I

mean, sure, she is a horrible mother, but she is still
our mother, right? What have we done to deserve
Page 566 of 1871

this? We have no one, literally no one. What will we
do without her?”
She was repeating all those scenarios I was replaying

in my mind all day.
Nombulelo: “Hey, you and I have been through the

most. We are strong. We will be okay, I will make
sure of it. You just have to trust me, okay?”
Millicent: (weary) “What about the babies?”
For a moment, those three totally slipped my mind.

They were another level of stress.
Nombulelo: “We’ll deal with that bridge when the

time comes. For now, I want you to promise me one
thing; you will focus on your studies no matter what.
Okay?”
She nodded though it was painful to do so. I gave her

one last hug of solace as I walked back to my mother’s
bedroom with the glass of water she requested. I
found her asleep yet again.
Page 567 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Here’s your water.”
She didn’t respond, so I left it right on her bedside. I

went straight to my room riddled with panic. I went
straight to WhatsApp and texted Michelle.
Nombulelo: “Friend…”
Michelle: “Hey, are you alright?”
Nombulelo: “No…”
Michelle: “Let me call you really quickly.”
She called me immediately as usual and I answered.
Michelle: “Talk to me.”
I explained everything that happened from the

moment I saw my mother walk in looking like the grim
reaper had paid her a untimely visit.
Nombulelo: (teary) “You should have seen her,

Michelle; she has lost so much weight and looks ten
shades darker. I have never seen her skin like this.
Page 568 of 1871

She has always had beautiful skin but I don’t know
what is wrong with her. She even vomited – profusely
might I add. I have never seen anyone vomit green
contents before.”
Michelle: “Did she tell you what’s wrong with her?”
Nombulelo: “No, she refused to tell me. I don’t even

know what to think.”
Michelle: “I am afraid it sounds like someone who has

a disease of some sort. If she doesn’t want to tell you,
it might even be terminal.”
I didn’t want to hear those words. I swallowed hard

and my tears rolled down my face, scorching my
cheeks.
Michelle: “I’m sorry, Nombu. Do you need me to

come over?”
I hated people seeing me in that state.
Nombulelo: “No, please don’t. You know how I hate

crying – especially in front of people.”
Page 569 of 1871

Michelle: “Crying is not a sign of weakness. I know
you don’t want to hear this, but trust in the Lord and
he will give you all the desires of your heart. Pray,
even though you don’t know how to.”
Nombulelo: “Sure, I will speak to you later, okay?”
Michelle: “Okay.”
We said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone. The

last thing I needed was to speak about God. I
received a call from Alfie, he was just checking up on
me and I briefed him on the situation at hand. He
promised to see me later on that day. I was in no
mood to cook, so Millicent did the honours and
cooked for us. She was not a bad cook at all; I just
didn’t even have much appetite. She knocked softly
on my door before opening.
Millicent: “Hey, I cooked. Should I bring you your

food?”
Nombulelo: “No
I am not hungry. Thank you.”
Page 570 of 1871

Millicent: “Okay, can I come sit with you?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Sure.”
She rushed to take her food from the kitchen and sat
right next to me. The aroma of the food awakened
my taste buds and made me want to eat, so we
shared a spoon and ate together in one plate. We
had a long silence and we were communicating to
one another without saying a word to each other.
Halfway through our meal, Alfie called.
Alfred: “I’m outside.”
Nombulelo: “Okay, I’m coming.”
Millicent: “Where are you going?”
Nombulelo: “I’ll be right back.”
Millicent: “You’re not sleeping out, are you?”
Page 571 of 1871

Nombulelo: (shaking head) “Don’t worry, I got your
back.”
I knew she was saying to me that she wouldn’t know

how to care for our mother without my presence. I
went out to meet Alfie who was dressed nicely and
smelled so good as usual. That boy was really
handsome. I got into the car and he embraced me
immediately and gave me a brief kiss.
Alfred: “How are you?”
Nombulelo: “I am okay, how are you?”
Alfred: “I’m fine. You didn’t sound too good over the
phone. Do you want to talk about it?”
The vulnerability that men bring out of women is just

bizzare.
Nombulelo: (sigh) “No, my mom is really sick, that’s

all.”
Alfred: “I see. I thought you’d want to come spend

the night at my house.”
Page 572 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I’d really love to, Alfie, but right now, I
can’t leave my sisters alone with her. If something
happens – “
Alfred: (interjecting) “It’s okay, really. Do you know

what’s wrong with her?”
Nombulelo: “No, she won’t tell me.”
Alfred: “Do you want me to get her a doctor?”
Nombulelo: “She wouldn’t allow that, but thanks for

the offer.”
Alfred: “Okay, if you ever do change your mind – I’m

just a phone call away. My doctor does house calls
and he is very confidential.”
Nombulelo: “I really appreciate it. I’ll be sure to keep

it in mind.”
Alfred: “Okay, call me whenever you don’t feel fine,

okay?”
Page 573 of 1871

I nodded and he gave me a hug before he left. I went
back into the house and found Millicent was done
eating and was still in my bed. We sat together and
watched some Netflix on my phone, all thanks to
Alfie’s login details. I could tell she was burning to ask
me something.
Nombulelo: “Come on, out with it.”
Millicent: “Wa jola (are you dating)?”
Millicent: “Is he cute?”
Nombulelo: “I think so.”
Millicent: (giggling) “So, how was your first kiss?”
Nombulelo: (blushing) “Hayi (no) man, Millicent. You

don’t get to ask me that.”
Millicent: “I just want to know, so I can prepare myself

for when it is my turn.”
Page 574 of 1871

Nombulelo: “The only time you will get to kiss a boy is
when I see you with a degree in your hands.”
Millicent: “Well, right after yours.”
Sadly, I could feel that I wasn’t going to take that path.

I just nodded and we continued watching. I must
have dozed off soon after our conversation because I
woke up in the middle of the night after hearing my
door open. The light switched on and I saw my frail
mother standing before me. She was drenched in
immense sweat and looked like she had literally just
seen a ghost.
Nombulelo: “Is everything okay?”
Gugu: (breathing heavily) “I was wondering if I can

sleep here with you… Just for tonight.”
It was a rather peculiar request from her. She was

clearly running from something much like a toddler
who was running from the Boogeyman. She looked
really lost and petrified, so I let her be. I nodded and
opened the covers for her and she walked towards
me slowly. She looked like she had lost her balance a
Page 575 of 1871

bit. She got into the covers finally and dozed off. It
was the perfect chance for me to inspect her closely. I
could see veins protruding throughout her entire
body. I saw the remains of a hospital drip on her wrist
which really made me believe that she was incredibly
ill. I needed to get to the bottom of it all. I dozed off
and right in the middle of the night, I heard her
mumbling some words.
Gugu: (mumbling) “Hmm… hmm… no, no, no! I

didn’t mean to.”
I even switched on the light to get a sense of what

was happening to her, but it seemed as if she was
having a really awful dream.
Gugu: “No, I didn’t mean to, Papa (father). Please,

forgive me. I am ready to accept my fate. The Lord is
my shepherd…”
She kept repeating those words “The lord is my

shepherd”. After all the horrid time we had with
Pastor Chauke, I did remember that they were from
Psalm 23. My mom was a firm believer in God and
Jesus Christ, but she didn’t exercise what they said in
Page 576 of 1871

the Bible. Why on earth were those words so
significant to her that she would repeat them in a
dream? What did she mean by she didn’t mean it to
her father? As far as I knew he died long before I was
born.
As said in Exodus 23:25 – “You shall serve the Lord

your God, and he will bless your bread and your
water, and I will take sickness away from among you.”
Chapter 32
Jeremiah 17:14 – “Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be
healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my
praise.”
I didn’t have such a good night’s sleep because my

mom was just mumbling and talking every now and
then in her dreams. If it wasn’t that, she would wince
out in pain. When I asked her what was wrong, she
would just give me a simple response; “it’s nothing,
my fate has come to pay me a visit”. I had no idea
what she meant and I was getting so frustrated, so I
went into her room and searched her bag. I was
appalled to find a clinic card with so many check up
dates. One reason for a hospital visit in particular
caught my eye. It was the most recurrent one;
Page 577 of 1871

“Chemo”. I felt a cold chill down my spine. I went
through her bag again and found countless pills, one
of them I had never seen before “Atazanavir”. We
learnt a thing or two about such pills in school during
an excursion at the hospital as part of our project.
“Could my mother be battling both cancer and HIV at
the same time?” I thought to myself. I just became
even more fearful of what was to come, so I decided
to call Alfie.
Alfred: “Hey, babe.”
Nombulelo: “Hey, did I wake you?”
Alfred: (chuckling) “You know I am an early bird.

What’s up? Is everything okay?”
Nombulelo: “Not really. Does your offer still stand?

The one about that doctor?”
Alfred: “Of course. When do you need him to come?”
Nombulelo: “As soon as possible if he can.”
Alfred: “Okay, I will call you right back.”
Page 578 of 1871

He hung up same time and after about 5 minutes he
called me back to let me know that he’d be there in
an hour. It was still holidays and I wasn’t due at school
until another week since I was in Matric. I needed to
get fully prepped for the year ahead. It was going to
be a busy time for me and with all I was faced with, I
started questioning a whole lot. When the doctor
finally came, I was quite surprised to see quite a
young man most probably in his thirties at my door.
My mom was still fast asleep by then. I took him
straight to her bedroom and he assessed her while I
was there. She was too weak to object at the time
although I could hear her mumbling “no”. With every
assessment he made, I could tell his facial expression
changing and he was continuously shaking his head. I
didn’t want my sisters in there, so I told them not to
set foot in my room until further notice.
Doctor: “I’m afraid it’s not looking too good.”
Doctor: “I’m afraid your mother has Stage 5 Hodgkin’s

Lymphoma accompanied by HIV. Basically the cancer
Page 579 of 1871

is in her blood and has spread all over her body, it will
ultimately attack her spine and she won’t be able to
walk in her final stages.”
I felt my stomach turn while my head started feeling a

bit dizzy.
Nombulelo: “I’m sorry, are you sure?”
Doctor: “Yes. Her lymph nodes are so swollen, it’s not

looking too good.”
Nombulelo: “Surely there’s something you can do. I

mean, she is already undergoing chemotherapy or
something.”
Doctor: “I’m afraid it’s not working. Her body is

rejecting it and she only started treatment very
recently. I am afraid her immune system is too weak
and it is far too late.”
I was feeling like the entire world was falling apart on

my side.
Nombulelo: “How much longer?”
Page 580 of 1871

Doctor: “Well, I’d say a month – maybe less. I’m truly
sorry.”
I could hear a loud cry coming from outside my room

and I just knew that those two were eavesdropping
on the entire conversation.
Nombulelo: (nodding) “What can I do in the mean

time?”
Doctor: “Make her comfortable. It will only get worse

from here onwards. She will be in a lot of pain, so the
best way to deal with such is to give her enough
morphine to take the pain away every few hours.
Don’t overdose her; it could kill her.”
I nodded while forcing the tears back as he gave me

some of that morphine he was talking about. He also
ensured that he left me with enough drips to keep her
hydrated since she would not be able to eat as time
went by. I thanked him once again and walked him
out. I saw Alfie smoking just outside his car right
outside my gate as the doctor left. I slowly walked
towards him and he immediately threw the cigarette
Page 581 of 1871

away. It was as if he knew that I needed that hug. He
just opened up his arms and embraced me. I just
cried quietly in his warm embrace as he just let me.
Soon after I stopped crying for a good few minutes, I
just felt too overwhelmed.
Nombulelo: “Do you mind if we go somewhere else?

I’ll come back to my house a little later on.”
Alfred: (nodding) “Cool. Where should I take you?”
Nombulelo: “Anywhere just not here. I just don’t

want to be here.”
It was as if I was saying the exact thing he had been

waiting to hear all along. Vulnerability can be other
people’s desire. I was in need of comfort and Alfie
was right there to give it to me on a silver platter. I
had just one month to mourn my mother and I had
absolutely no idea what I was going to do. I got into
his car and we drove away silently. A million thoughts
were pacing through my mind. All the while Alfie was
occasionally holding my hand while driving and kissing
it here and there. I felt loved and truly supported.
We got to his house and all I wanted to do was just sit
Page 582 of 1871

and be in his arms. On that particular day I was going
through so much stress, that I just wanted to ease it
all. I wanted the pain I was feeling to go away.
Nombulelo: “Do you have some wine here?”
Alfred: (shocked) “Baby, you don’t drink alcohol,

remember?”
Nombulelo: “I know, but I just want to numb the

pain.”
Alfred: “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Nombulelo: “Please.”
He just nodded and went to get me a glass of wine. I

remember it all too well; a glass of white wine,
Chardonnay to be exact. It tasted so strong and
foreign to my tongue. After the first sip I could feel
my body already rejecting that foreign substance
but I didn’t stop. I downed the first glass within 15
minutes, while Alfie was just looking at me with great
concern. It was barely 10am in the morning, on the
2nd of January; exactly 3 months shy from my 18th
Page 583 of 1871

birthday. He was having himself a beer. Once I was
done, I handed him the glass and asked for more.
Alfred: “Perhaps you should drink some water, love.

Actually, let me make you some breakfast.”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “I’m not hungry. Pour

some more for me.”
I insisted that he pour me a full glass this time. It took

me yet another 15 minutes to finish the second glass.
I could already feel my legs becoming numb. The
more I tried to stand, the more wiggly they felt.
Alfred: “I told you, you can’t drink too fast – too soon.
Sit down.”
I just looked at him and had no idea what had come

over me. I just wanted to feel whole again. I got
closer to him and kissed him. I didn’t lean in for a
smooch – no, I went in for a passionate kiss. He
kissed me back of course, and I don’t know how but I
found myself right on top of him while we were
kissing. I felt something getting closer to me right in
between my thighs. I assumed it was his penis,
Page 584 of 1871

though I had never seen one before. He pulled out of
the kiss while breathing heavily.
Alfred: (breathing heavily) “Nombulelo, this is not

how I want us to have our moment.”
Nombulelo: “I want you, Alfred. Make me feel whole

again.”
Alfred: “Believe me, I really want to, but not this way.
You’re drunk and – “
I didn’t even let him finish his sentence as I went in for

yet another passionate kiss. History was indeed
repeating itself and it was just the tip of the iceberg
for me. Alfie became so wrapped up in the moment
that he finally took control. How it happened I have
no idea. All I recall is us being naked in a span of
minutes with him on top of me. I had countless
chances to stop what was happening, but something
within me didn’t want me to.
Alfred: “Wait, let me go get a condom.”
Page 585 of 1871

He rushed to his bedroom while I lay on that carpet
right in his lounge naked. I had the choice to get up
and get dressed and get back to my senses, but I
didn’t. I remained still and waited for him to come
back. He got back on top of me with a condom in his
hand.
Alfred: “Are you sure you want to do this?”
That was yet another chance I had to say no but I

didn’t.
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Yes, I am sure.”
He wasted no time further and ripped the condom

open with his teeth. He rolled it right on top of his
penis like a true professional. I didn’t even want to
look at it. He kissed me yet again and all I felt was vast
pain when he entered me. It is so indescribable and
yet unforgettable. The more he thrusted in and out of
me, the more painful it got. I winced but my body
refused me to stop. The pain was accompanied by
peculiar pleasure – about 5% of it. He was having the
time of his life, breathing heavily, sweating and
moaning right on top of me while I felt like death was
Page 586 of 1871

looming right inside of my vagina. I felt like it was
being ripped apart while some fluid was coming out
of me. He thrusted faster with time and I could really
feel the heat levels increasing down there. When he
was done, I heard him let out a loud moan, while I
wasn’t too sure how to feel. He kissed me all over
once done and told me he loved me. I wasn’t even
sure what to say. I had just given Alfred my virginity. It
didn’t really matter much to me like some sort of
virtuous gift or anything, but I really felt so confused
within myself. I wasn’t filled with any regret but I just
didn’t know how to feel any more. That is what
comes with having premature sex. I asked him if I
could take a bath afterwards and he offered to take
one with me. He put bath salts in the bath tub for me
with some bubble bath. We weren’t exactly poor at
home, but I wasn’t used to that. When I got into the
water, I winced a little as the water felt like it was
stinging my vagina.
Alfred: “I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to hurt you. It

gets better with time.”
Nombulelo: “Does it?”
Page 587 of 1871

Alfred: (chuckling) “Yes, it does, trust me. The next
time you’ll feel really good when we do it.”
He was right behind me and was kissing my shoulders

and neck every now and then. Sex is something else;
it is really sacred. Once you have sex with someone
everything changes. It either becomes better or
worse. I was slowly transforming into someone much
like Alfred because of the bond we had formed that
very day. I never knew that day that I’d become even
more ruthless than he ever was.
As said in Proverbs 5:19 – “A lovely deer, a graceful

doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.”
Chapter 33
Isaiah 43:18-19 – “Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a
new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the
desert.”
He drove me back home though he didn’t want me to

leave. I just felt like I needed to leave. Perhaps it is
what happens after the very first time a woman has
Page 588 of 1871

sex, I don’t know, but I just felt different. It felt as if
everyone could see it in my eyes that I was now being
sexed – officially. I even felt a little embarrassed when
older people were looking at me. He stopped right
before our gate as usual and switched off the car.
Normally we’d talk a bit before I got off but at that
point I just wasn’t feeling it.
Alfred: “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Yes, I am. I just feel like it is

now time for me to go home and rest a bit.”
Alfred: “I really want to be beside you, but I get it. You

need to be with your mom.”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Thanks for being so

understanding.”
Alfred: “And your siblings? What are you going to do

about them now that they are in the hospital?”
He brought me back to reality. I had forgotten about

those three. I hadn’t even gone to see them ever
since they were born.
Page 589 of 1871
Nombulelo: (sigh) “I haven’t even had time to think
about them.”
Alfred: “Well, if you need any help whatsoever or just

a listening ear, you know where to find me, right?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I do. Thank you, Alfie.”
Alfred: “Okay, I will call you later.”
He gave me a kiss and I got out. I greeted him

goodbye and rushed back into the house. By then it
was around 2pm. I found Millicent in the lounge
watching TV when I walked in.
Nombulelo: “Hey, where’s Nairobi?”
Millicent: (shrugging) “I don’t know. She told me she’s

going out to see her friends.”
Nombulelo: “While Mama is ill?”
Millicent nodded. I took out my phone and dialed

Nairobi’s number but it went straight to voicemail.
Page 590 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Hmm, I’ll deal with her later. How is
Mama?”
Millicent: (sigh) “She doesn’t look too good. She is

starting to eat way less though it seems as if the drips
are helping. She cries of pain way too often.”
Nombulelo: “Did you give her some morphine?”
Millicent: (nodding) “Yes as written down by the

Doctor.”
I felt so bad for leaving her behind for dealing with all
the mess but she was one I could always count on.
Nombulelo: “Thanks, Milli. I know I don’t say it too

often, but I really appreciate you.”
Millicent: “You said we should always stick together,

and that’s how it is always going to be.”
I nodded in agreement and she stopped me before I

proceeded to my mother’s bedroom.
Page 591 of 1871

Millicent: (teary) “What are we going to do, sesi (sis)?
I mean what are we really going to do?”
Nombulelo: “Let’s cross that bridge when we get

there, okay? You have me and I am not going
anywhere.”
I reassured her with a tight hug before I went to my

mother’s bedroom. The moment I opened that door,
I was riddled with agony and so much despondency. I
had never really seen an ill person before. Her
bedroom smelled so much like a hospital room and
one could tell that there was an ill person living in
there. I had to contain myself. There was no time for
tears. It seemed as if she could always sense me
whenever I walked in because she woke up the
moment I walked closer to her each time.
Gugu: (clearing throat) “Nombu, is that you?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, Mama.”
Gugu: “Come sit here. Let’s talk for a minute.”
Page 592 of 1871

I could tell she barely had any strength to hold a five
minute conversation, but whenever I came she made
sure that she spoke to me. I sat down and her frail
hand reached for mine. The difference between the
two was just alarmingly sad.
Gugu: (smiling) “Do you know why your grandmother

named you Nombulelo?”
I shook my head.
Gugu: “It’s because of the rebel I was and the way you
were conceived. You know, you might think that I
never wanted you nor that I don’t love you, but the
truth is, Nombu, my baby, I had you when I was just
15. I had so much guidance around me yet I chose to
walk amongst the Devil’s path. Do you know who
gave me this necklace?”
She had this necklace that she always wore and never
took off – no matter what.
Nombulelo: “No.”
Page 593 of 1871

Gugu: “My father, well, stepfather. He loved me so
much that I didn’t see the need to even call him my
stepfather. Let me show you what it says. Lean
closer. I never take it off.”
I leaned closer and I saw the engraving; “Psalm 23”.
Gugu: “The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He

makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me
besides still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me
in the path of righteousness for his name’s sake.”
She was smiling and her eyes were beaming with so

much pride as she was reciting Psalm 23.
Gugu: “This was his favourite verse of which he

dedicated to me. Oh, Nombu, he loved me so dearly.
He loved me so much that it felt so good, until I just
got mixed up with the wrong people.”
She never really told me her life story and I was so

curious to know so I listened attentively.
Gugu: “I have made some really bad choices, I admit

that, but one of the good was having you. Yes, I admit
Page 594 of 1871
that I wanted to abort you – I actually tried to, but
God refused. I even tried to abort Millicent, but God
didn’t want me to do that either. You were meant for
so much greatness, Nombulelo and I want you to
know that.”
She just had to ruin the entire moment. How was I

supposed to smile right after my own mother told me
that I failed to be aborted?
Nombulelo: (teary) “Are you being serious right

now?! Am I supposed to smile right after you just told
me that you tried to abort me yet you failed?!”
Gugu: “You are missing the point, my child.”
Nombulelo: “No, you are missing the point here. All

my life I wondered why you treated Millicent and I so
differently but now I see it. You just hated us – you
really wish that we were dead.”
Gugu: “Nombulelo, please.”
Nombulelo: “We are rejects and we’ll never

experience your love. Is it only the two of us you tried
Page 595 of 1871
to abort?! What about Nairobi?! What about these
triplets?! Surely you have tried to get rid of them
since they were conceived of rape!”
I was lashing out of so much withheld anger. I

thought I was doing what was right for me and she
just added fuel to the fire by being brutally honest.
Gugu: “No, I didn’t try to abort them. Nairobi’s father

was present and really loved the fact that I was
pregnant. I was in a good mental space when I was
pregnant with her. The triplets, well, I was dealing
with a lot. I mean, yes – I was raped but would it have
made my life easier had I aborted children that were
given to me by the almighty God?”
I felt so much pent up anger towards her. She just

wasn’t getting it.
Nombulelo: “You just enjoy seeing me angry, don’t

you?”
I got up and I was about to walk out when she said

what she said.
Page 596 of 1871

Gugu: “Nombulelo, my baby. You are destined for so
much greatness. You are the one chosen to help my
children – your siblings. One day when I’m gone you
will surely understand.”
I got so angry that I banged the door on my way out. I

was a bit taken aback when I saw Millicent close by. I
prayed that she didn’t overhear our conversation. I
could hear my mother on the other side reciting
Psalm 23 yet again.
Nombulelo: “I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”
I said that to Millicent and headed straight to my

bedroom. I hated it when people saw me crying. The
moment I closed my bedroom door, I held my pillow
and cried so much and ensured that no one could
hear me. My heart felt as if it was literally breaking
into pieces. After I calmed down, Alfie called. It was
as if he could sense my mood.
Alfred: “Hey, how are you feeling now?”
Nombulelo: “I’m okay. What’s up?”
Page 597 of 1871

“I know you have a lot going on right now, but I
thought you might want to go out for a little bit.”
Nombulelo: “Will it only be just the two of us?”
Alfred: “No, it’s us and the gang but if you don’t want
to be around people I can tell them I am not coming.”
I felt a little bad. I didn’t want him to do such for my

sake.
Nombulelo: “It’s okay. We can go. I don’t mind.”
Alfred: “Are you sure?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I just don’t have much to wear.”
Alfred: “It’s alright. I went clothing shopping for you

yesterday. I wanted to surprise you. I hope you don’t
mind.”
That was very thoughtful of Alfie, sure, but I couldn’t

help but wonder if perhaps I was a bit of an
embarrassment for him and he wanted to ensure that
I fit in or something.
Page 598 of 1871

Nombulelo: “It’s cool.”
Alfred: “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
I said my goodbyes and hung up. I had already taken

a bath at his place but I quickly freshened up just in
case. Indeed he was on time as always. Within
fifteen minutes on the dot, I heard a hoot right
outside. I peeped through my window and saw him
waving. I was in my gown and didn’t feel like having
people see me grab clothing bags and plastics from
his car at that time of the day, so I asked Milli to go for
me.
Nombulelo: “Millicent! Please come here.”
It was as if she was hoping for that because she came

running.
Millicent: “May I come in?”
Nombulelo: “Sure, you’re the only one I allow in here

anyway.”
Page 599 of 1871

She opened the door riddled with excitement.
Nombulelo: “Don’t look so excited. Please go to

Alfie’s car and get those bags for me.”
Millicent: (excitedly) “Okay.”
She hurried out and I watched them through the

window. They were candidly speaking and I could tell
that Millicent was already fond of him. I saw him
hand over the plastic bags and a few other paper bags
– about 6 if not more of them. He then handed her
something I couldn’t clearly see in her hands. She
came rushing into my room beaming with joy.
Millicent: “Hmm, where did you find Alfie? I can’t

wait to also find a boyfriend like that.”
Nombulelo: “What did he give you?”
Millicent: “Countless bags filled with brand new

clothes. I can smell the brand new cloth on them.”
Nombulelo: “I mean afterwards. What did he give

you?”
Page 600 of 1871
Millicent: “Oh, he gave me R200 to buy myself some
airtime.”
Nombulelo: “Don’t get used to it. And don’t you dare

buy any alcohol with it.”
Millicent: “I won’t – I promise.”
She closed my door and I browsed through the bags.

I was shocked to see the price tags ranging from
R2500 all the way to R15000. What was a girl my age
going to do walking around draped in such expensive
apparel? The shoes though were to die for even
though I hated high heels. I decided to call him and
he answered right after the first ring.
Nombulelo: “What should I wear?”
Alfred: “Oh, we’re just going to a Hotel. You can wear

a dress with heels. Take your Gucci flip flops with you
just in case you get tired of them. There’s a few new
bags in there to choose from.”
Page 601 of 1871

Alfred had style that’s for sure. I was perforated with
so much anxiety as if I didn’t know his entire crew. I
felt the need to impress and I was quite clueless
about such clothes, so I enlisted the assistance of my
sister.
Nombulelo: “Millicent!”
She came rushing as always.
Nombulelo: “Just come in.”
Millicent: “What is it?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know what to wear.”
Millicent: “What’s the occasion?”
Nombulelo: (shrugging) “Just an outing with his

friends and their girlfriends at some hotel.”
Millicent: (impressed) “Hotel, you say. Well then, we

need to up your game. He can wait a few more
minutes.”
Page 602 of 1871

Millicent went through a few bags. She didn’t even
have to go through all of them because she had found
the perfect outfit according to her after searching the
third paper bag. She dressed me in a gorgeous
Chanel two-piece. The skirt was a bit short I have to
admit but it looked so good on me. I wore a pair of
beige Christian Louboutin heels. I never thought I’d
ever wear Red bottoms at the age of 17. Clothing can
make one feel so liberated. I thought she was done,
but she found some make up in there as well. I guess
Alfie wanted me to wear some I mean why else would
he buy it for me? I kept glancing through my window,
but he was enjoying the view while smoking. He
didn’t seem anxious or impatient at all. I let Millicent
do her thing but I also wanted to look natural.
Nombulelo: “You’d better not make me look

unnatural.”
Millicent: “Relax, I saw a few YouTube tutorials online.

O nkadima akere (you’ll lend me some, won’t you)? I
saw this really cute new make-up trend that I want to
try.”
Page 603 of 1871

Nombulelo: “You can have as much as you want. I’m
not big on make up anyway.”
She was so excited. She styled my Afro and once she

was done I got to look at myself in the mirror. I nearly
cried looking at myself. The tall, awkwardly light-
skinned girl that I knew was no more. I was looking
right at the reincarnation of Nombulelo Makeba. I
looked so good that I could hardly tell that I had no
ass.
Nombulelo: “Wow, Milli! You have outdone yourself.”
Millicent: “Thank you, I try, you know. Now, go before

he changes his mind.”
Nombulelo: “Are you sure you will be okay all alone

with Mama?”
Millicent: “Yes, I know what to do?”
Nombulelo: “Call me whenever you need me or if

something goes wrong. I promise, I won’t be long.”
Page 604 of 1871

Millicent: “Sesi (sis), please go. You have never had a
break. You never get to have fun much like your age
mates. Please go and don’t you worry about me. If
you call me constantly I will switch off my phone.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Okay.”
Millicent: “Go and have some fun. You deserve it.”
I was quite reluctant to go as I kept glancing at my

mother’s closed bedroom door. I tried not to let my
fears cloud me that day and with Millicent’s
encouragement, I tried to have a good mindset. I
didn’t forget to put the flops in my bag just in case.
When I walked out that gate, it was as if Alfie was
seeing someone completely brand new. I could tell by
his wide smile that he was truly impressed. Even I
myself was impressed.
Alfred: (surprised) “Babe, you look absolutely

amazing! I have no words!”
Nombulelo: “Is it too much?”
Page 605 of 1871

Alfred: “Are you kidding me?! I am walking around
with my very own Kim Kardashian. This is us today;
Kimye!”
I chuckled and he took a few pictures of us together

standing outside his car.
Nombulelo: “I am sorry if I took a bit long to finish.”
Alfred: “Don’t you worry. They can wait. You come

first.”
He was so excited that he couldn’t stop getting his

hands off me. Perhaps it was the fact that he had
already tasted my body, but he was just someone
completely different. He was more intimate with me
and way more affectionate. When we reached the
Hotel, he rushed right out of the car the moment he
was done parking the car so he could open the door
for me. He hugged and kissed me yet again.
Nombulelo: (shyly) “Alfie, man. You will ruin my

lipstick and my make-up.”
Page 606 of 1871

Alfred: “So what? You’re even more beautiful without
it.”
He kissed me again before we walked in. Once we

reached the area his friends were in, I could tell that
they were already tipsy judging by their loudness. It
looked like a really good day to make friends but one
thing was for sure – I wasn’t in the mood for Puse and
her drama especially after what I did to her the last
time. The moment we approached them, everyone
else was all smiles and happy to see us except Puse of
course. She acted rather casually but I could tell that
her vibe was screaming something different.
Aflred: “Hey, gents! We’re here.”
Zoro: (shouting) “Fucking finally, man! You’ve been

gone for ages!”
Diesel: “What took you so long? You’re never late.”
Biggie: “Come on, man. Can’t you see? It’s pretty

obvious gore ne ba sa betha pleke (they were doing
the deed).”
Page 607 of 1871

I felt so embarrassed that I felt the heat rush straight
to my cheeks. Kea and Priscilla smiled at me
immediately.
Alfred: (clicking tongue) “Ah, voetsek (piss off),

Biggie! We don’t talk like that about our women.”
Chapter 34
3:19 – “Repent therefore, and turn again, that your
sins may be blotted out.”
At that given point I felt a small amount of pee come

right out of me and drop into my undies. My knees
were a bit wobbly but I had to dig right into the strong
Nombulelo and face whatever lay ahead. I tried to
look around and indeed it looked like a bloody movie.
I had never seen so many police officers pointing large
guns at me.
Police officer: (shouting) “I won’t ask you again! Get

out of the car with your hands behind my head!”
I had heard of the police shooting people for not

complying, though, so I was not about to be one of
those victims. I slowly opened the car door and he
just continued yelling at me.
Page 608 of 1871
Police officer: (shouting) “Turn around!”
I did as told and tried my best not to show how

petrified I was. The Police officer who was shouting at
me grabbed my arms so roughly I felt like my skin was
about to tear.
Nombulelo: “Why am I being arrested? I was just

sitting in a car, though.”
Police officer: (shouting) “Voetsek (piss off)! It’s

always bitches like you who make our job so much
harder than it should be!”
Clearly he had a problem with women. Across me

was a very familiar police officer. The very same one
who handed me a R50 note when I was arrested for
beating Betty up. He was not very surprised to see
me and he gave me a brief smile instead.
Police officer 2: “Hey, man. Go easy on her. She is a

minor.”
Page 609 of 1871

Police officer: “Nkuna ska ntena le wena (don’t you
dare bore me)! You have always had a thing for these
young girls. Ke sure bao nyobisa (I’m pretty sure they
let you fuck them)!”
So the nice officer’s name was Nkuna. He was really

nice to me and he didn’t even retaliate when that
other police officer was insulting him. I knew they
had nothing on me because they didn’t read me any
of my rights, which means I wasn’t getting arrested
nor did they have anything solid to lay charges against
me. I was thrown right onto the ground by the mean
officer with Nkuna staring at me with a broken heart.
The other officer along with others were searching
the car quite diligently. I was under the impression
that they’d find nothing hence I was so relaxed. The
entire time it didn’t dawn on me that Puse had really
done a number on me.
Nkuna: “Found anything yet?”
Police officer: “Not yet, bitsa koloi e moyeng (find out

who the car belongs to).”
Page 610 of 1871

Nkuna took out his walkey talkey and called out the
registration number. I heard a voice of another man
who I presumed to be a police officer or something.
Voice: “The car belongs to Steven Makunyane.”
I had such good memory, quite enough to remember

that when Alfred was introducing me to the gang he
told me that Zoro’s name was Steven. I saw the rude
officer smile widely towards me.
Police officer: (smiling) “Well, well, well, it looks to me

like we have a little rebel on our hands. Baby girl, o
nyaka eng ka mo koloing ya ma genza (what are you
doing in a gangster’s car)?”
I was as calm as I could possibly be.
Nombulelo: (frowning) “So, a girl is found me in a nice

car and suddenly I mingle with gangsters?”
He was not very impressed with my attitude.
Page 611 of 1871

Police officer: “Entlek o mang wena heh (who are you
exactly)?! Nkuna, nyaka pasa ya die kind (find this
girl’s ID).”
Nombulelo: “Let me save you the trouble. I am

Nombulelo Makeba, the daughter of Gugu Makeba.”
I knew that my mother had some sort of reputation

but I was still yet to find out how the police knew her
and spoke such trash of her. It was not enough that
he tried to humiliate me, but he laughed out so loudly
and arrogantly.
Police officer: (laughing) “Oh, you’re the whore’s

daughter. It is no wonder we found you in a
gangster’s car. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from
the tree.”
Nombulelo: “You don’t have anything against me so

you can’t keep me sitting out here in handcuffs might
I add.”
One of the other officers noted that they found a gun

in the car which was supposedly enough evidence for
them to take me in for questioning.
Page 612 of 1871
Police officer: “Well, I am afraid we are taking you in
for questioning, my dear. I am allowed to do that
according to the law. Nkuna, throw her in the back.”
He was giving that poor Nkuna orders like they

weren’t even on the same rank and it really didn’t sit
well with me. As to why the poor man allowed it I just
didn’t know. He opened the van door and placed me
inside with the little dignity he could offer me that
day. He gave me a brief smile yet again. He was such
a compassionate man, though it was my second
encounter with him. The rude police officer was
driving and the way he was driving I could tell he was
just doing it deliberately. I was thrown from corner to
corner in the back while he was just laughing. Once
we got to the station, they took me into one of the
interrogation rooms. It was my second time there in
barely a year. It must have been a sign or something.
The rude officer deliberately brought a docket along
with him and came to the interrogation room and sat
down right before me and scoffed.
Police officer: “So, tell me, Miss Makeba. You do

enjoy making it a habit to stay in trouble, don’t you?”
Page 613 of 1871
Nombulelo: “Do elaborate.”
Police officer: (chuckling) “Your gangster boyfriend

won’t come and save you. I have enough evidence
against you and him.”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “You keep talking of a gangster

boyfriend and yet here I am I have no idea who you
are talking about.”
Police officer: “Ke sure o speke sa Zoro wena (You

must be one of Zoro’s side chicks)”.
He was bluffing and I had to call his bluff. He was

living on assumption.
Nombulelo: “Who is that?”
Police officer: “My girl, you were in Zoro’s car right at

the scene of the crime. We have witnesses you know,
that saw you mingling with his entire crew.”
Page 614 of 1871

He clearly didn’t know what he was talking about. If
there really were witnesses or footage then he would
have seen that I was Alfred’s girlfriend and not Zoro’s.
Nombulelo: “What crime, sir? I really don’t follow.”
Police officer: (angrily) “They sent you to be the

watcher, didn’t they?! You were in the car waiting on
them! Where did they go?! Where’s the money?!”
He was getting so upset and a bit aggressive but I kept

my cool.
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Sir, I have told you that I do not

know who you are talking about. Firstly, I am a minor,
secondly you haven’t even read me my rights yet so
that means I am not even arrested for anything.
Thirdly, you have me here in handcuffs and judging by
the way you’re behaving it looks as if you’re about to
hit me. Just so you know, I know my rights and I will
press charges against you.”
He could see that I was little Miss Smarty pants and it

was really upsetting him. I was indeed a minor and if
Page 615 of 1871

word got out that he assaulted an under age girl for
nothing but assumptions he could have lost his job.
Police officer: “I know your likes and you know what?

I am going to be on your case until I arrest you. Your
boyfriend and his little gang might think that they
have the entire Boksburg eating out of their hands
but not me. I am not corrupt!”
After he said that, a stern knock appeared on the

door and the door opened abruptly.
Nkuna: “Bro, let her go. Her lawyer is here.”
I could tell he was really annoyed by that. He

uncuffed me looking rather annoyed.
Police officer: “You give that boyfriend of yours a

message from me; tell him I’m coming for him – for all
of them!”
After he uncuffed me I got up and walked out. Nkuna

handed me my bag right at reception. I looked
around and saw no Alfred nor anyone from the gang.
Page 616 of 1871

Nkuna: “Here’s your bag, stay out of trouble. Luck
runs out eventually.”
He was right about that and I was soon to learn. I

looked around and saw no lawyer. The moment I
walked out of the police station, I saw Alfie’s gray polo
parked a bit farther. It was a getting a bit dark outside
though I had no idea what time it was. He was about
to smoke and he looked really anxious. He dropped
the cigarette onto the ground the moment he saw
me. He gave me one tight hug and I could tell it had a
tinge of guilt in it. It felt so tight as if he didn’t want to
let go.
Nombulelo: “Babe, I am really okay.”
Alfred: (teary) “Are you sure? Did they hurt you?”
He analyzed me and looked for any marks and when

he saw the marks the cuffs had left on my wrists he
went ballistic.
Alfred: (angrily) “Who did this to you?!”
Page 617 of 1871

Nombulelo: “The officer just tied them a little too
tightly. I am honestly okay, love.”
Alfred: “Get in the car, we’ll talk far from here.”
The officer most probably saw me talking to Alfie

outside but I didn’t care. I was just glad that I didn’t
snitch on anyone. Only God knows what would have
happened to me if I had done that. He drove a little
further away and stopped at a nearby park. He
hugged me tightly yet again. I could tell he was so
worried.
Alfred: “What happened?”
Nombulelo: “Nothing. I am okay.”
Alfred: “I mean what happened to you? You were

supposed to guard the door and by the time we got
out you weren’t there.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, uh…”
I had to think of something really quickly. Alfred was

one of those who’d look you dead in the eye and he
Page 618 of 1871

already knew with my delayed response that I was
lying.
Nombulelo: “I panicked and went to sit in the car.”
Alfred: (frowning) “But the car was parked right up

front. How did it get to the back of the hotel when
you can’t even drive?”
Shit, he already knew I was lying.
Nombulelo: (nervously) “I uh… I asked Puse to drive to

the back of the Hotel.”
Alfred: “So, you went back in and asked her to drive

the car out so you can relax all alone?”
Alfred: Hmm, okay then. I am glad you are okay. They

didn’t hurt you in there, did they?”
Nombulelo: “No, the officer was just rude towards

me.”
Page 619 of 1871

He nodded and I could tell he was already thinking of
his next step. All I knew was that it didn’t look too
good for Puse. He drove in silence up until we arrived
at Zoro’s house. He held my hand and we walked in
together. Once the crew saw us walking in, I could tell
the girls were so relieved to see me – except for Puse
of course. She looked as if she was about to shit her
pants.
Priscilla: “Oh, thank goodness you’re alright!”
Kea: “We were so worried about you, babe. Were

you hurt?”
Nombulelo: “No, I’m okay. Alfred immediately walked

out with the rest of the guys and us girls were left
alone.”
Kea: “Seriously though, what happened? Where did

you go?”
Nombulelo: “I, uh, I panicked.”
Puse looked like she had her heart right in the palm of
her hand.
Page 620 of 1871
Priscilla: (frowning) “You panicked? That doesn’t
make sense, babe. You are not one to just panic.”
I looked at Puse and I stuck to my lousy story.
Nombulelo: “That’s it. I panicked.”
The guys walked back in and Puse was seen looking

really tense.
Zoro: “Lelo, we’re glad you are okay and back home
unharmed.”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Thank you.”
Zoro: “I am sorry to do this now but I have to. What

really happened?”
They all looked at me and I could tell they really

wanted nothing but the truth from me. I was in
serious shit.
Nombulelo: (nervously) “As I said to Alfie, I panicked

and walked out.”
Page 621 of 1871

Zoro: “A contact of ours from the station told us how
you handled the entire situation so well that even
Officer Ntshangase is perturbed by you. It still isn’t
sitting well with him. You didn’t snitch on anyone and
you were rather calm as fuck. Now, do tell us, Lelo, a
girl like you who is as feisty as they come decided to
walk away in the midst of a heist and was found in a
car that you weren’t even able to drive?”
I was looking at him nervously.
Zoro: “Puse, do you care to tell the truth?”
Puse: (nervously) “I don’t know what you want me to

say, Zo.”
Zoro: “Well then, since neither of you want to be

honest I will give you my theory; Nombulelo was
sticking to the plan as asked and you decided to fuck
up our plan and you took her outside. You drove the
car and left her there. You intentionally left one of us
outside while the rest of us could have all gotten
caught. Am I lying, Puseletso?”
Page 622 of 1871

She was so stressed I could see her wiping away the
sweat on her forehead.
Puse: (nervously) “It’s honestly not what you think,

Zo.”
Zoro: (angrily) “This poor girl even went the extra mile
and put herself in danger. She didn’t snitch on
anyone here nor did she snitch on you and you still
don’t want to tell the truth?!”
He got so mad that he threw a glass from the table.

Puse flinched without him even touching her. She
knew just what he was capable of.
Puse: (crying) “It’s not like that, Zo. I didn’t mean to.
I… I’m sorry.”
Zoro: “I’ve given you countless chances, Puse. I even

felt bad for beating you up that day because of the
way she stood up for you! From the moment she
joined us you just never liked her, Puseletso. Why is
that? What is it that you have against her so much?
This is your chance to speak, to let it all out.”
Page 623 of 1871

Puse started crying profusely.
Zoro: “I won’t ask you again. What is your problem

with her?”
Puse had no words as she was crying right in the

middle of everyone.
Zoro: “Fine then. Since you won’t say a word, I will

settle it my way. You are officially off duty from all the
jobs we get here. And tonight’s earnings will be
shared differently. Lelo will get her share including
your entire share, Puse.”
Puse: (crying) “Why does she get to have

everything?! What’s so special about her?!”
Zoro: “I gave you the platform to speak and you

refused. Don’t fuck with me right now, I am not in the
mood.”
Biggie: “From my side, I am sorry for what Puse did. It

is honestly inexcusable.”
Page 624 of 1871

I felt so horrible for the way they were so against her.
I really wanted to know why she hated me so badly.
Surely there was something more to it. After all,
every problem has a deep root to it.
Nombulelo: “If I may, I am really sorry about what

happened. I didn’t want to snitch on her because she
surely had her reasons. I do admit, she put us all in
danger and more especially me since I am new. I do
ask you from the bottom of my heart, Zoro, that you
don’t punish her the way you did the last time. I
promise you, I won’t ever lie to you again. I do feel
that she shouldn’t be deserted, she is the mother of
your children and I am sure the crew was doing just
fine until I came along.”
Everyone was shocked by my response to everything,

more especially Puse.
Zoro: “I hear you and I appreciate your mature

response to the entire thing despite how it could have
turned out. Bottom line is that she endangered us all
and we have children to think about. The very same
children she failed to think of today. You are still
Page 625 of 1871

getting her entire share. She leaves with nothing
from today’s job until she proves herself.”
Zoro was beyond upset with her. One could tell he

had had enough of her and it was the final straw. I
could tell Alfred was not too happy with my little
white lie especially with me lying to him. He was yet
to deal with me regarding that. Puse’s heart was
beyond broken as she saw everyone getting their cut
except her. I was stunned to see so much money
before me. I got R100 000. That was the largest sum
of money I had ever had in my hands. It felt as if
things were finally looking up for me and I could catch
a breather, but I was soon to know that the tough
times were just beginning.
As said in Hebrews 10:26 – “For if we go on sinning

deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth,
there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins.”
Chapter 35
Hebrews 10:26 – “For if we go on sinning deliberately
after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no
longer remains a sacrifice for sins.”
I really couldn’t believe my eyes. I kept digging into my
bag just to touch the money and get a feel of it.
Page 626 of 1871

Money has a certain power; it wants to keep you
happy and the more you realize you can actually get –
the more you want. It is just never enough. Things
were really tense on Puse’s side and I was quite happy
to leave with Alfie right after we each received our
share. When we got into the car he paused a little
before starting the engine.
Alfred: “Why did you really lie to me?”
Nombulelo: “To be honest with you, I didn’t want to
get her into trouble. I saw what Zoro did to her last
time she messed up and I didn’t want that to happen
again.”
Alfred: “So you chose to hide it from me too? Do you
realize what could have happened to you today? You
could have gotten arrested. What if they had tortured
you? Would you have withheld the truth even then?”
Nombulelo: “I’m sorry. I didn’t think of that.”
Alfred: “Don’t lie to me again.”
Nombulelo: “Okay.”
Alfred: “On a serious note now, I am very happy that
you are made of steel, but I don’t want to endanger
you like that. It should have been me in those cuffs
today – not you.”
He kissed my hand and off we went to his place. He
asked me to spend a few hours with him before
Page 627 of 1871

heading home. I was thinking of Millicent the entire
time and I didn’t want to traumatize her like that. It
just didn’t sit well with me that she had to look after
our mother while I was out and who knew where
Nairobi even was. I sunk back to reality for a little bit
throughout our drive to his house and he noticed. The
moment we arrived he hugged me from behind and
inhaled my scent.
Alfred: “Let’s go take a shower together. Do you
mind?”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “No, I don’t.”
He pulled me towards the bathroom and helped me
undress slowly while the water was running in the
shower. Afterwards he undressed himself. I still wasn’t
too comfortable staring at him naked, but he tried by
all means to make me comfortable. He started kissing
my neck and shoulders. My body instantly went into
relaxation mode. We went into the shower together
and once the water was dripping on our skin, I felt
soothed. His hands gently brushed my breasts in
circular motion.
Alfred: “I want you to know how much I love you.”
That came as a real surprise to me. It wasn’t the first
time he had said it but I still wasn’t too sure what love
even was.
Page 628 of 1871

Alfred: “I don’t expect you to give me all of you
because I know you have a lot going on. I am here to
support you all the way – no matter what.”
Nombulelo: “I really appreciate it.”
He turned me around and kissed me passionately. I
don’t know what happened that evening or even why
we did what we did. I was sober minded while he was
a little drunk. One thing led to another and before I
knew it he was inside of me. It felt a lot different than
the night before – a lot nicer. He pulled out and went
down on me. For the very first time a man was
enjoying my vagina all over again. He came back up
again and went inside of me again. We made
passionate love in the shower that evening –
unprotected love should I rather say. Once we were
done we went to bed and lay in each other’s arms.
Alfred: “Forgive me for overstepping my boundaries,
but since your mom is ill, I thought you should check
up on your siblings at the hospital.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “I’m not even sure if I want to.”
Alfred: “What do you mean?”
Nombulelo: “I feel so burdened by it all. I don’t think I
even want them to be a part of my life. Does that
make me selfish?”
Page 629 of 1871

Alfred: “No, it honestly doesn’t. I get it – they’re not
your babies and your mother was coerced into having
them, but you haven’t even met them. I don’t want
you to make decisions that will affect you in the long
run. The least you can do is to meet them before you
make any harsh decision. I know you are not evil – you
don’t have that in you. Just think about it before you
decide.”
Nombulelo: “Perhaps they are better off with the
state, Alfie. I really can’t. With school and my sisters,
how will we even juggle three babies?”
Alfred: “I can help. I can get someone to look after
them for you. You just say the word and I’ll do it.”
Nombulelo: “I can’t expect you to do that. It’s too
much.”
Alfred: “It’s really nothing. You’re my girl and it is my
duty to take care of you.”
I wasn’t about to rely on a man. What if I made that
decision and down the line he did the complete
opposite? I wasn’t about to do that to myself.
Nombulelo: “I hear you Alfie and I am really glad you
are willing to do so much for me, but please – don’t
expect me to depend on you. I don’t want to turn into
my mother.”
Page 630 of 1871

Alfred: “I understand. At least just think about what I
have said.”
I let him be and he respected the fact that I needed
time to think about it. It was around 10pm that
evening and I requested that he take me home. I
needed to be home to look after my mom. Millicent
could not have been the one to look after my mom all
alone. Thankfully Alfie understood. He took me home
and I said my goodbyes. I found Millicent sleeping
right on the couch and she didn’t look as exhausted as
I thought she would have been.
Nombulelo: “Hey, are you okay?”
Millicent: (nodding) “Yes.”
Nombulelo: “How’s mom?”
Millicent: “She’s okay, she’s sleeping in your room.”
Nombulelo: (puzzled) “Why my room?”
Millicent: (shrugging) “I found her talking to herself – I
don’t know, but she said she doesn’t want to be in her
room anymore.”
I didn’t get that but I was fine with it.
Nombulelo: “Where is Nairobi?”
Millicent: “She hasn’t come back yet.”
That really angered me. I mean yes, I was dating but
she was only 13 years old. I was boiling and when I
called her and her phone went straight to voicemail
Page 631 of 1871

yet again, I could feel myself becoming even more
angry.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Where did she really go, Milli?
And before you answer me, I want you to think long
and hard.”
She could tell I was beyond livid at that point.
Millicent: (panicking) “She… She told me that she was
going to see a friend.”
Nombulelo: “Who?”
Millicent: “I don’t know, I am telling the truth. She said
something about a party. I don’t know the friend, I
only know the house.”
I took out my phone and dialed Alfie.
Alfred: “Hey, miss me already?”
Nombulelo: “How far are you?”
Alfred: “I just took a detour to Zoro’s house, do you
need something?”
Nombulelo: “Can you come back to my house? I have
to attend to something serious.”
Alfred: “Cool, I’ll be right there.”
I hung up and looked at Millicent who seemed to
know a little more than what she was telling me.
Nombulelo: “Go put some clothes on, we’re taking a
little drive.”
Page 632 of 1871

She could tell she was in serious shit. She rushed to
her bedroom and sure took her time as she got
changed into a decent outfit. She was in shorts when I
got home, and I hated seeing them dressed like that
in public. When Alfie got there he gave me a call and I
called out for Millicent who seemed rather too
nervous to face me.
Nombulelo: “Let’s go.”
She nodded and walked right before me. We got into
the car and I could tell Alfie was quite worried.
Alfred: “Why did you call me back here? Did
something happen?”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “Waitse (you know), Nairobi o
ntlwaela masapa (is full of shit). She hasn’t been
home since this morning. I am not even sure if she
even slept home last night.”
Alfred: “Hmm.”
That answer made me suspicious.
Nombulelo: “Speak.”
Alfred: “What?”
Nombulelo: “Your response. It speaks volumes. What
is it that you know that I don’t?”
Alfred: “Eish (oh), baby. I don’t know how to say it.”
Nombulelo: “Just say it.”
Page 633 of 1871

Alfred: “She is dating Diesel’s younger brother. They
go to the same school. I was under the impression
that you knew and you were cool with it.”
I felt my head become instantly heated.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “What the fuck, Alfred?! And
you never bothered to tell me this why?!”
Alfred: “Like I said, baby girl, I thought you knew.”
Nombulelo: “Why would I allow her to date when I
am going out of my way to ensure that they are well
fed and taken care of?!”
Alfred: “She told me you were fine with it and it
wasn’t my business to interfere.”
I looked at the rearview mirror and Millicent looked
just as guilty.
Nombulelo: “Oho, you also knew, didn’t you?!”
Millicent: “Askies (I’m sorry), sesi (sis).”
Nombulelo: “Hehe. So you knew and didn’t bother to
tell me? What do I teach you, Millicent?! You are way
too young to date!”
She was too afraid to look me in the eye.
Alfred: “So what now?”
Nombulelo: “Take me there. It is time I teach them
both a lesson.”
While driving Alfie was trying to help me calm down,
but I just wasn’t having it.
Page 634 of 1871

I learnt that evening Diesel’s brother was in the same
school as Nairobi and even worse he was in Grade 12
while she was just in Grade 8. I was fuming because it
felt like they all kept it from me. So much for joining
their “tight-knit” family. Alfie was trying to calm me
down meanwhile while driving, but the more he tried
the more agitated I became.
Alfred: “Diesel is a good guy, Babe, honestly. If he
knew he most probably didn’t want to cause any
friction between you two. At the end of the day, it is
not his place to tell you.”
I felt as if he was truly sugarcoating the entire
situation simply because Diesel was his friend. Once
we arrived at the house, I didn’t even wait for him to
open the door for me. I simply opened Millicent’s
door and instructed her to walk out. She was
reluctant but she didn’t have a choice. She walked out
slowly and I walked right ahead of the gate as if I even
knew the way to the house. Alfie rushed towards me
and tried his best to catch up with me. Once we
reached the door to the house, I stood before it.
Alfred: “Babe, please. Can we talk about this before
you go in?”
I gave him one look and felt truly annoyed with him. I
knocked on that door so hard, I was probably banging
Page 635 of 1871

on it unwittingly. When I felt like no one was coming
to the door, I banged on it again. I could see the
nervousness and embarrassment on Alfie’s face but it
wasn’t about him. Within minutes, someone opened
the door abruptly looking rather annoyed.
Woman: (frowning) “Can I help you?”
Nombulelo: “Yes you can.”
Alfred quickly interrupted.
Alfred: “Hi, Mama Diesel (Diesel’s mom), this is my
girlfriend Nombulelo. Prince o teng (Is Prince here)?”
Woman: “Yes, he must be in his room.”
Nombulelo: “Do you mind calling him for me?”
The woman looked a bit confused because she could
see I was livid while Alfred was nervous and Millicent
really didn’t want to be there.
Woman: (shouting) “Prince! Bao nyaka (they’re
looking for you)!”
The moment his door opened right across the kitchen
door from his backroom, I just went mad.
Prince: “Mama, ke mang (who is it)?”
He was tall and quite well built and one could see he
was older than Nairobi. I got so mad that I kicked that
door further open. He fell onto the floor and I saw
Nairobi looking rather worried. What made me do
Page 636 of 1871

what I did next was looking at her cover herself up
because she was naked.
Prince: (surprised) “Who are you?”
His mother was screaming trying to get a sense of it
all, but I wasn’t interested. I looked at Nairobi and
then at that big boy and I started punching him right
in the face so hard. I didn’t care if he was way bigger
than me. I kept punching him while Nairobi was
screaming and begging me to stop. Everyone else was
begging me to stop and I just got mad at Nairobi for
pleading with me to stop beating that boy up.
Alfred: “Babe, stop please.”
I didn’t hear him. Rage consumed me so much that
Alfred ended up pulling me forcefully away from the
bleeding Prince. Nairobi was crying and I didn’t feel a
tinge of sadness for her nor any remorse for my
actions. I was fuming so much they could probably
see my pink face.
Woman: (hysterically) “Can someone please tell me
what is going on here?!”
Nombulelo: (angrily) “You actually allowed my sister
to be here and have sex with this boy! She is only
thirteen years old!”
Page 637 of 1871

Woman: “I didn’t know she was thirteen. She told me
that she was sixteen and that they go to the same
school together.”
Nombulelo: “Did you even think of calling her parents
to verify all that? Do you know that as we speak, our
mother is on her dying bed?!”
The mother was quite shocked to be honest.
Woman: “Prince! Why didn’t you tell me this!”
Prince: “I had no idea, Ma, I swear.”
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Wena (you), Nairobi. Akere
wena o clever (you’re clever, aren’t you)? You decide
to sleep with boy
Chapter 36
Proverbs 16:16 – “How much better to get wisdom
than gold! To get understanding is to be chosen rather
than silver.”
While I tried by all means to sleep, I could hear my

mother speaking just after midnight in her bedroom.
I thought perhaps Masabatha needed some
assistance, so I knocked on her bedroom door before
walking in.
Nombulelo: “Mme (ma), is everything okay?”
Page 638 of 1871

Masabatha: “Oh, it’s okay.”
Nombulelo: “Who was she talking to?”
Masabatha: “Come in and sit here next to me.”
I did as told while we both stared at her. She looked a

bit confused and started saying some things we didn’t
understand and started reciting Psalm 23 yet again.
Masabatha: “She was speaking to her ancestors.”
Nombulelo: “I hears her do that the other night but I

wasn’t sure. Is that even possible?”
Masabatha: (nodding) “Of course. You see, when one

is dying, those who have already crossed over come
to visit and start preparing you for the crossover. She
has seen them quite a few times, but she is not ready
to let go of this world as of yet.”
Nombulelo: “That sounds really weird. Can you see

them?”
Page 639 of 1871

Masabatha: (shaking head) “No, but I can feel their
presence. You see, your grandmother was right in the
room.”
Nombulelo: (Surprised) “She was? But why do they

always visit around this time of the morning? I mean
don’t they know we also have to sleep?”
Masabatha: (chuckling) “Midnight and 3am are

powerful times; that’s when people need to pray the
most because withches and evil people are active
around those times. You see, your mother has done a
lot of bad things in her life, most of them that she
isn’t proud of. This is her time to right her wrongs.”
Nombulelo: “But how will she do that when she is

nearing her death? Surely those she has wronged
need to know that she is sorry before she leaves,
right?”
Masabatha: “Well, not quite. They will know. She will

visit some of them in dreams. Her spirit is awakened
though her body is failing her. You see, Nombulelo,
God is no fool. He knows exactly what He is doing.
He doesn’t forget his children and just because your
Page 640 of 1871
mother has been a very bad person at most of her
life, it doesn’t mean that He has turned His back on
her.”
Nombulelo: “I see. God must be working overtime,

huh?”
Masabatha: (laughing) “You could say that. All those

she knew and even her forefathers have come to take
her. Her journey is nearing its end and it is about time
you start preparing yourself for what is to come.”
Hearing her say that with so much ease and grace

made it seem truly final. My mother was dying and I
don’t even think anyone can ever prepare themselves
for that moment. I nodded in agreement.
Nombulelo: “Well then, I guess I should go to bed.”
Masabatha: “Good idea. Good night then.”
I went to my bedroom and struggled to sleep

furthermore. I heard my mother start speaking again
and wince out in pain around 3am. I thought
Masabatha might need a break but as soon as I
Page 641 of 1871
walked in there, I saw her praying for her. I let them
be and tried to go back to sleep. I woke up the
following morning feeling so tired. I tried to get up
but decided to go back to sleep again. I woke up
around 10am which was very unusual for me. I
struggled sleeping the previous night so it was
understandable. I saw countless missed calls from
Alfie when I woke up and I decided to return his calls.
Alfred: “Hey, I’ve been calling. Are you alright?”
Nombulelo: “Hey, sorry. I’ve been sleeping.”
Alfred: “Oh, okay. It is very unusual for you.”
Nombulelo: “I struggled sleeping last night.”
Alfred: “Alright. I wanted to come fetch you. We’re

going to Zoro’s house.”
Nombulelo: “Eish (no), what time?”
Alfred: “We’re supposed to meet them in an hour.

We can’t be late today.”
Page 642 of 1871

I was honestly not in the mood for the crew – more
especially after Nairobi’s situation.
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Okay.”
Alfred: “I have also been calling you because I wanted

to give you the pills.”
Nombulelo: “Okay, let me take a bath really quickly. I

will see you in a bit.”
We hung up and I went to freshen up. I got dressed in

one of the new outfits he had bought me and he was
half an hour early. I greeted Masabatha goodbye and
went to see Alfred. He greeted me with a tight hug.
It indeed had a tinge of guilt.
Alfred: “Go jwang (How are you)?”
Nombulelo: “I’m just a bit tired.”
Alfred: “Here, take both at the same time.”
He handed me the Plan B morning after pills with a

powerade. I took the pills as requested.
Page 643 of 1871

Alfred: “They might make you feel a little nauseated.
Alfred: “Let’s get going.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Do we really have to?”
Alfred: “Yes, unfortunately.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t want to go. I mean, after the

whole incident.”
Alfred: “Diesel won’t entertain it and you shouldn’t

feel bad for trying to protect your sister.”
Nombulelo: “Alright then.”
I got into the car and he handed me a plastic bag full

of goodies and snacks. I munched on some on the
way. When we arrived at Zoro’s house, I felt a little
nervous. I had no idea what to expect from Diesel
and the rest of the crew but I went for it. Alfred had
my hand in his confidently as we walked right in.
Page 644 of 1871

There was already a braai right outside and they had
started drinking. I looked around and saw no sign of
Puse.
Alfred: “Ekse (hey), re fihlile (we’ve arrived).”
Priscilla: “Oh, finally!”
She and Kea hugged me.
Kea: “It’s been a minute.”
I quickly analyzed the guys and they all greeted me

quite nicely, and Diesel seemed normal though he
struggled to look me in the eyes. It was as if he felt a
little embarrassed or ashamed. I couldn’t tell.
Zoro: “Well, now that everyone is here, we can start

with our meeting.”
Biggie: “In a while, man. Ka fetsa ka nama e (I am

almost done with this meat).”
Zoro: (sigh) “Ai (oh), P, you’ve got to get your man to

stop eating so much.”
Page 645 of 1871

Biggie: “And have to change my name to what?
Smallie? Not a chance.”
They all laughed.
Priscilla: “Hey, I heard about what happened with

your sister. I’m really sorry.”
Kea: “Yes, she is a real ungrateful brat – no offence.”
Nombulelo: “None taken.”
I was hoping they wouldn’t touch on it but I guess

they wanted to.
Diesel: (clearing throat) “From my side, Lelo, I am

truly sorry. I had no idea things would get out of hand
like this.”
Nombulelo: “It’s really okay.”
Diesel: “No, it’s not. I don’t want you to think that I

allowed my brother to take advantage of your sister. I
didn’t even know how old she was. I assumed they
Page 646 of 1871

were in the same class, but I told myself that I am not
his father, so a ko di tsena (I won’t involve myself).”
That really put me at ease. He wasn’t mad at me

which was a good sign.
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Well, that’s a relief. I honestly

thought you’d be mad at me for beating him to a
pulp.”
They all laughed yet again.
Diesel: “Trust me, some people do need a beating

every now and again.”
Nombulelo: “Where’s Puse?”
Zoro: “She won’t be part of our meetings for a while.

She has a lot of self-introspection to do.”
Biggie brought the meet and placed it on the patio

table. The food and drinks was already there all we
had to do was dig in.
Zoro: “Finally. Now, back to business. There’s a new

job, guys. Master mind.”
Page 647 of 1871

Alfie was always given the floor and I’d always watch
him as he just spoke of the job like it was a passion. I
had no idea why he just didn’t stop the life of crime
and do something legit with the money he had. He
explained that there was a cash in transit job in the
pipeline and one of his inside men gave him all the
details. They explained everything to me though Alfie
didn’t want me to be part of any jobs. Clearly he had
told them about his wishes and they all agreed. The
ladies however never went on such jobs, we were just
there on stand by and had to watch out for any police
cars coming their way. At times we would have had to
use a car nearby or watch on the surveillance given to
us on the computer.
Alfred: “The only thing we need from you ladies this

time is for you to be our Alibi’s should we get
arrested. Therefore, after the heist, we will all be
together at a nearby lodge. We will hide the money
somewhere safe, but we all need to be there –
including Puse. That’s the only way we can convince
people that we were partying together in case shit
hits the fan.”
Page 648 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Where is this lodge?”
Alfred: “In Mpumalanga, the booking has already

been made.”
Nombulelo: “I see.”
Diesel: “I know you have a lot going on, Lelo, and we

don’t like making our women sweat for nothing.
Therefore, you will get a cut from this. If you want to
back out, do let me know now.”
There was no way I was going to back out despite my

mother being ill so I agreed.
Nombulelo: “Okay, when do we do this?”
Alfred: “We need to leave tomorrow morning. The

heist will happen around midday.”
They explained all the necessary details to me and I

was fine with it. I started feeling a bit nauseous as
Alfie said the pills would make me. I drank a lot of
water to try and wash it down. After the intense
Page 649 of 1871

session, we left around 4pm. Instead of driving me
home, he stopped at a nearby park.
Nombulelo: “Why are we here?”
Alfred: “I would like to teach you how to drive.”
Nombulelo: (laughing) “You must be joking, hey.”
Alfred: “No, I’m not. You’re turning 18 in three

months so I’d really like you start learning. I mean,
just in case you will need to drive away while on a
job.”
It made sense but I felt like shit. He took no for an

answer so we switched seats.
Alfred: “That’s the clutch, the middle pedal is the

brakes and the one on your right is the accelerator.
You step on the accelerator when you need to move
the car, you press the brakes to stop and the clutch is
for changing gears. He showed me how to change
gears and how to pull down the handbrake. They all
make driving look so easy but it actually isn’t. It took
me a while to get the knack of it but I tried something
Page 650 of 1871
that day. After an hour, I was honestly tired and he
drove me home.
Alfred: “Are you sure you don’t want to go home with

me tonight?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t think that’s a good idea. My

mom is on her death bed while I am out having fun. It
just feels so weird.”
Alfred: “I understand. Can we go check up on the

twins before we leave?”
Nombulelo: “Okay. See you then.”
I went into the house and Millicent was busy with her
YouTube make up tutorials.
Nombulelo: “Hey, how’s it going?”
Millicent: “It’s going great thanks, except for one

thing?”
Nombulelo: “Which is?”
Page 651 of 1871

Millicent: “Your foundation shade is way too dark for
me. Make a plan for me, won’t you, sis? I really want
to get this look right.”
Nombulelo: “Fine. How much do you need?”
Millicent: (excitedly) “Well, I need to buy foundation,

primer, concealer – “
Nombulelo: (interjecting) “You basically want an

entire set of make up.”
Millicent: “Yes.”
Nombulelo: “How much will that cost?”
Millicent: (excitedly) “R1000.”
Millicent: “Hook a sister up with a new phone and a

selfie light, would you?”
Nombulelo: “Don’t push it.”
Page 652 of 1871

Millicent: “I love you too!”
all alone.”
Masabatha: “We’re not alone – we’re fine. You just

do what you must do. Don’t worry about us.”
Nombulelo: “Okay. Alfie moved the triplets to a

private hospital.”
Masabatha: “Oh, good. They will be home in no time,

then. How’s Rachel?”
Nombulelo: “She’s the sickly one. I suppose they will

tell us today. I haven’t seen them today.”
Masabatha: “Let the hospital staff know that we are

also family. Millicent and I will go see them
tomorrow.”
Nombulelo: “Are you sure? That won’t be necessary.”
Masabatha: “It is necessary. Babies need to feel a

bond hence doctors and nurses recommend the
kangaroo method. They can sense rejection very
Page 653 of 1871

quickly. Let them know. We will go see them really
quickly. I need to pray for them – more especially
Rachel.”
I assumed that Alfie told her about the triplets and

their condition, but I was wrong. I let her be and
went to bed. I slept that night at least, though I
couldn’t stomach any food because of those pills. I
got up around 10pm rushing to the toilet and
vomited. All I had that day was the food from the
braai and it all came back up. I washed it down with
some water and went back to bed. I still heard my
mother screaming and talking after midnight and I
accepted it that evening. The morning came and I
woke up early. I was all good and ready at 6am. Once
I was done taking a bath, I was surprised to see
Masabatha and Millicent ready too around 6:30.
Masabatha: (smiling) “Good morning. Are you well?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I am thanks and you?”
Masabatha: “I am blessed as always, my child. Are

you sure you’re alright? I heard you vomiting last
night.”
Page 654 of 1871
I knew she was trying to fish for information. She was
such a wise lady it always seemed as if she knew what
you were hiding. I knew my face gave it away in any
case, but I answered her as best as I could.
Nombulelo: “Yes, I am okay.”
Masabatha: “Hmm, I know it can’t be the alcohol

because you don’t drink. Just take good care of
yourself, okay?”
I nodded embarrassingly and went back to my

bedroom. I took my luggage out and handed
Millicent R5000 for whatever she wanted for those
tutorials. She seemed very passionate about it but I
did ensure her that I’d take them away from her
should it interfere with her school work. She was very
happy and couldn’t stop thanking me. Alfie called to
let me know that he was right outside.
Masabatha: “I was hoping that you and Alfred could

drop Milli and I at the hospital. I need to see the
twins urgently.”
Page 655 of 1871

Nombulelo: “That’s not a problem, but are you sure
that Mama will be okay on her own?”
Masabatah: “She is on pain meds and won’t wake up

for another few hours. We will be back by then. I just
need to do this urgently.”
I had no idea what urgent thing she was talking about

but I agreed. She hurried to fetch her bag and we got
into the car. It felt a little awkward for me to be in the
car – in the front seat to add to that while Masabatha
was casually talking to Alfred as if they had known
each other for years. We arrived at the hospital and
Masabatha seemed very normal. When we got into
the NICU, she asked me to go in with her at first since
they only allowed two visitors at a time. I agreed and
we suited up. Once we were there she looked at the
three of them; Isaiah was on the left, then it was
Hannah and then Rachel.
Masabatha: (smiling) “Aren’t you three beautiful
Chapter 37
Page 656 of 1871

Proverbs 18:24 – “A man of many companions may
come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer
than a brother.”
While Priscilla and Kea were doing their thing I got to

learn a thing or two about them; Priscilla was really
good at Tech stuff; she could bypass anything she
came across. Kea on the other hand was the financial
brain of the gang. She was handling their cash flow
and once we got to speak about serious things, I got
to learn the real reason why those boys were so keen
on doing so much crime in such a short span of time.
Priscilla: “On a serious note now, you see this? This is

how I can keep track of them. They each have a
tracker on them – us as well.”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “You mean you all have a

tracker installed in each one of you? Why?”
Priscilla: “For obvious reasons – so that they know

where we are at all times. I can bet you have one on
you but you just don’t know yet.”
Page 657 of 1871

I felt a little uncomfortable about that part. I mean
sure – it made sense for them to do that because of
the life they lived but to put a tracker inside of me
without my permission? That’s just weird.
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Hmm, I’d rather not find out

– at least not now.”
Kea: “If you do have one, it is for a good cause – trust

me.”
Nombulelo: “So what will they do with all this money

now?”
Kea: “Well, they invest a portion of their cash each

time they do big jobs like this one. All that shoplifting
stuff is just for petty cash and for fun when they want
to remain low key. The car jackings as well are for
days they want to keep their cash flow afloat.
Hijackings are only for those who mess with us, you
know.”
Nombulelo: “Mess with you how?”
Page 658 of 1871

Kea: “Well, if they try to get with one of us, or
disrespect one of us or even them – more especially if
they steal from us.”
They were starting to sound more dangerous than I

thought.
Nombulelo: “Well, that sounds quite hectic.”
Priscilla: “You’d better not fall pregnant any time soon,

baby girl. Once you do – it’s like you belong to them,
you know. They won’t let you have peace while you
are their Baby Mama. You will learn to be faithful if it
is not in you.”
Nombulelo: “What do you mean? Is it that bad?”
Kea: “Not really, they just really love their kids more
than anything. They wouldn’t hesitate getting rid of
you for the sake of their own children.”
I started thinking of my own situation and thought to

myself, “what if I am actually pregnant?” Puse started
chuckling deliberately so that we could hear her from
where she was sitting. The three of us got annoyed
Page 659 of 1871
by what she did and so, Kea decided to put her in her
place.
Kea: “Puse knows what I’m talking about. She nearly

died on numerous occasions.”
Puse just looked at Kea and walked out.
Nombulelo: “Has she always been this negative?”
Kea: “Yes – even way before you came into the

picture.”
Nombulelo: “But why, though? It seems to me like

she wasn’t as negative and annoying as she is now.”
Priscilla: “Ah, probably because she wanted to hook

up with Alfie at some stage.”
The shock in me, I nearly skipped a breath or two.
Kea: “I’m afraid it’s all true.”
Nombulelo: “Was that before or after she hooked up

with Zoro?”
Page 660 of 1871

Priscilla: (laughing) “Honey, those guys have been
friends all the way from when they became young
men. She did that while she and Zo were already an
item. I mean she was quite happy to see him
changing girls like undies and now, when you came
along he just couldn’t stop bragging. Why do you
think she is so angry all the time?”
Nombulelo: “But I thought she loved Zoro.”
Kea: “She loves him for what he can do for her hence
he just always cheats on her. As far as we’re
concerned – she’s dead to him and has started
becoming a liability.”
All along we thought she couldn’t hear us yet she was

listening to every single word from outside.
Nombulelo: “Surely Zoro loves her enough to forgive

her, right? I mean, they’re still together even today.”
Priscilla: “They’re still together as a matter of

convenience, but after these recent stunts, I truly
think that it is over between them.”
Page 661 of 1871
That was the very last straw for Puse because she
stormed right in soon after Priscilla said that.
Puse: (angrily) “Oh, so you wait for me to leave so you

can start gossiping about me?!”
Priscilla: “No one is gossiping about you – we can still

repeat what we said right to your face.”
Puse: (angrily) “I see you two, actually all three of

you. You think you are smarter and prettier than me!
Wena (you), Priscilla, you’ve never liked me! From
the moment we met.”
Priscilla: “I’m glad you know now.”
She was so unapologetic about it.
Puse: “And wena (you) Kea, you think that just

because the boys trust you with all their cash you’re
the next best thing since sliced bread. I was here
before you, girl and I will still be here even after Biggie
leaves your ass. You’re both way too incompatible
anyways.”
Page 662 of 1871
Kea: (laughing) “Shame, dream on girlfriend. You
know very well why you’re behaving they way you do
– you’re a slut. Not just any slut but a brainless one at
that. Zo is done with you, it’s just a matter of time
before he leaves you. Keep doing what you’re doing
right now and he will do even worse than what he did
the last time.”
Puse was not about to give up. The more they

spewed at her the more she just lost it.
Puse: (fuming) “And wena seshwapa (you assless)!

You honestly think that Mastermind will want to be
with someone like you? You’re not even pretty –
you’re just light. I mean, the only good thing you will
do is give him light babies apart from the ones he
has.”
That las statement really shook me. She deliberately

did that because she wanted me to know.
Nombulelo: (shocked) “What the fuck are you talking

about Puse?”
Page 663 of 1871

Priscilla: “Can we do this after the job? We have a
bigger issue to deal with here.”
Puse was unbothered by it all.
Puse: (chuckling) “You didn’t know, did you? You

honestly thought that Mastermind wouldn’t have any
children? Oh, shame. You wanted to bear him his
first born son, right? My sister already did that – and
not just one, but two sons. They’re so handsome and
look just like him. And for the record, I didn’t want
him – he wanted me. In fact, he came onto me and
we fucked. How else do you think I’d know about his
birthmark on his thigh?”
I was fuming and she was enjoying it. Whatever she

was saying felt like it had a lot of loopholes in it. They
say that when a person is angry they tell you nothing
but the truth, but with Puse it was just a different ball
game. That girl was truly unstable. However, I didn’t
want to beat her up – it wouldn’t have solved
anything more especially on a day like that. She
wanted to get a reaction out of me so that the guys
could be mad at me and consider me a ticking time
bomb. I fought all the rage back by all means. She
Page 664 of 1871
was going to be mine once everything was over and I
wanted to moer her right in front of her boyfriend.
Kea: “Let her be. Let her throw all these little
tantrums on her own. She’s not our priority right
now.”
Puse was not about to listen. She started going mad

insulting the three of us and despite us trying to keep
our cool, she just kept going. Zoro started speaking to
Priscilla over the radio transceiver and we started
hearing a few gunshots. Our focus away from Puse
made her go mad.
Zoro: “P, can you hear me? We’re in but we might

need transport on the other side. Meet us on – “
We heard nothing further when Puse decided to pour

beer on all the gadgets and throw the devices on the
floor. The way we were in so much disbelief, we
stared at her for a second. I was so angry at her, but
what Priscilla and Kea did was unimaginable. They
both jumped from the desk and charged at her. They
were punching and kicking her while I just stood there
Page 665 of 1871

in shock for a few minutes. I came back to my senses
quickly.
Nombulelo: “Guys! She is not worth it right now! We

need to figure out how to get to them quickly!”
Luckily they had hired a car for us the moment we

arrived there. We took the car keys, while Puse and
Kea took their guns and let Puse crying on the floor.
That girl was going to be the end of us. We drove to
the location we could see on Priscilla’s phone via the
tracking device and when we were nearer, we heard a
few more gunshots. I started panicking but Kea and
Priscilla reassured me that things would be fine. The
gunshots stopped and Priscilla signaled to them that
we had arrived. I saw a few dead bodies on the floor
and I saw Diesel setting the H1 alight. Fear crept
within me. I never thought they actually killed anyone
when they went on those sort of jobs. We were three
girls and four guys cramped in a Volkswagen Kombi.
There was enough space, at least. They were so
sweaty and Zoro told Priscilla to step on it. They
changed clothes inside of the car while I just
remained quiet. I heard Alfie wincing in pain.
Page 666 of 1871

Nombulelo: (worried) “What’s wrong?”
Alfred: “I got shot on my thigh. It’s nothing major.

Diesel will sort me out. Just stick to the plan.”
I nodded. They got rid of all the guns that were

present in the car. I think all the euphoria got to them
for a while and they only noticed once we were out of
the bushes that one person was missing.
Zoro: “Where’s Puse?”
I kept quiet as I didn’t want to look like the instigator

once again.
Priscilla: “She stayed behind.”
Diesel: “What took you guys so long? We sent you a

signal right away.”
Priscilla: “We had a bit of a problem.”

Just when we were about to get to the garage, a
police van came rushing right behind us. It didn’t
make any sense since we were straight from the
bushes and no one could have spotted us. I could feel
Page 667 of 1871
my palms become clammy while we all stayed quiet
for a few minutes. We thought the van would drive
away and indeed they did. We dodged a bullet and
who knew how it would have turned out? We
stopped at a nearby garage with Kea playing music
from the car making it look like we were indeed on a
trip. Diesel and Alfred went to the garage toilet to
sort out his wound, while the rest of us had to go and
buy something from the garage and look like we were
enjoying our road trip. I could tell that it was about go
down once we went back to our cabin. Priscilla and
Kea were buying so many things in there, I suppose
they were stalling time. I paid for my items and
waited in the car. It was as if Zoro had been waiting
for me to leave the shop first because he followed me
soon after and stood right outside the window near
me while smoking.
Zoro: “Ekse (hey), Lelo, what really happened at the

cabin?”
I was so nervous and I knew better than to lie to him.
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Nothing really.”
Page 668 of 1871

Zoro: “Are you sure?”
Nombulelo: “We were having a casual conversation

and then Puse went outside. She came back and
started yelling at us and insulting us. When your call
came through she…”
Zoro: (raised eyebrows) “Go on.”
I could tell he was ready to kill.
Nombulelo: “She threw alcohol on the radio

transceiver and threw the laptop and the rest of the
gadgets on the floor.”
He stood there whilst deep in thought for a moment.
Zoro: “Did she tell you why she did that?”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “No, she just said that the

three of us think we’re better than her.”
I didn’t tell him the entire story, it would have seemed

like we were gossiping.
Page 669 of 1871

Zoro: (nodding) “Okay.”
He looked a little weary and took out his phone to

make a call to Puse I assumed. There was no answer
and he dialed again. Afterwards, he hung up and
threw the phone on the ground.
He chuckled to himself.
Zoro: “Thanks for being honest. I really appreciate it.”
I nodded and the girls finally came back to the car and
noticed my tenseness.
Kea: (frowning) “What is it?”
Nombulelo: “Nothing really. Zoro just asked me what

really happened back at the cabin.”
Priscila: “Yoh (no)! What did you tell him?”
Nombulelo: “The truth – excluding the entire story

about what she said.”
Page 670 of 1871

The two of them were relieved, but I couldn’t help
that they somehow knew something about what
Puse said.
Kea: “It’s a good thing you didn’t tell him everything.”
Nombulelo: “Surely if Puse was telling the truth you’d

tell me, right?”
They both glanced at each other and then at me and I

knew just right there that they were guilty.
Priscilla: “Look, it’s not as simple as it seems. Like I

have said before, we don’t talk about other people’s
relationships here. If you are dating one of us, you
sort it out with him. We can only advise you.”
Kea: “It’s not our place to tell you things about

Mastermind. You have to figure it out yourself and
when he is ready he will tell you the whole truth.”
Oh, shit. I just knew it. I was low-key a stepmother

and I had no idea. I felt like everyone was lying to me
and I looked like the fool. I started thinking of
everything Alfred said to me. I started questioning
Page 671 of 1871
everything and even thinking that Puse might have
been right or even telling the truth. They noticed my
confusion and worry and probably tried by all means
to make me feel better.
Priscilla: “Look, it’s not that deep, really. Yes, you

might be too young to be involved with someone who
has kids, but don’t let what Puse said get to you. She
is a liar and has a hidden agenda. Focus on the real
prize here. Wait for Mastermind to tell you whatever
you need to know. For now, let us just get this money
out of the way, okay?”
I nodded in agreement since I was a team player, but I

won’t lie – I was heartbroken. Alfie and Diesel came
back to the Van with Diesel slightly assisting Alfie to
walk. I could tell he was in a lot of pain though he
wanted to show me that all was well. The moment he
got into the car he kissed and hugged me. It was all
about me again.
Nombulelo: “I am more worried about you?”
Page 672 of 1871

Alfred: (faint smile) “Don’t you worry about me. I’m a
warrior, babe.”
Zoro got into the front seat and Biggie got in the
driver’s seat.
Zoro: “I am afraid we have a problem.”
We all looked at him in suspense.
Zoro: “We need to go hide the money as ASAP.

There’s police outside our cabin and they are waiting
for us.”
Diesel: “Hmm, where is Puse?”
Zoro: “That’s what I want to find out. Biggie, step on

it.”
They closed all the doors and off we went. Instead of

going to celebrate our big win, we had to go dig a hole
and bury the money where we’d find it a bit later, but
there was just no time for that. It was just too risky.
Page 673 of 1871

Zoro: “Mastermind, any ideas on what we should
do?”
Alfred: “How far is Bongani’s house?”
I had never heard of that name before.
Zoro: “Bigs?”
Biggie: “Eish (no), it’s about an hour away.”
Alfred: “We have no choice but to go there.”
Biggie: “Ah, mfo (bro), he’s our lawyer.”
Alfred: “Exactly why we need to leave the money with

him. He won’t fuck us over. We have too much dirt
on him. Being associated with us is a crime on its own
for someone in his profession.”
Zoro: (nodding) “Okay then, ladies, prepare

yourselves for another hour on the road.”
Priscilla and Kea were unbothered by the entire thing

but something was really off. If the police were
Page 674 of 1871

already waiting for us all at the cabin with Puse and
her big, crusty mouth there, who’s to say she did not
tell them exactly what they wanted to hear? We
drove off and Biggie had to maintain a good speed
limit so that the metro police wouldn’t stop us on the
way. We made a few stops for some alcohol and Alfie
looked like he could use a beer so I handed him one.
Alfred: “Thank you, babe.”
Nombulelo: “Are you sure you’ll be alright?”
Alfred: “I’ve been through this before. Don’t you

worry.”
I nodded and said nothing further and he could see

that I had something on my mind. After another half
and hour, they made a toilet stop and it was his
chance to ask me what he needed to know.
Alfred: “Alright, spit it out.”
Nombulelo: “Spit what out?”
Alfred: “What’s got you so worried and silent?”

Page 675 of 1871
Nombulelo: “Nothing, I’m just worried about you.
And those gunshots – I am not used to this.”
Alfred: “No, it’s more than that. What is it really?”
Nombulelo: “Can we talk later when we’re alone?”
He respected that and agreed.
Alfred: “I’m going out for a smoke. Come with.”
I didn’t really like the smell of cigarettes but I tolerated

it just because it was him smoking. I briefly helped
him out the car and he leaned against it. He lit a
smoke and had me lean with my back against him. I
could feel him get an instant erection, making me
blush straightaway. I wanted to remove myself from
him, but he pulled me right back.
Alfred: “No, if you move then everyone will see our

secret?”
I laughed and he became more at ease while

Chapter 38
Page 676 of 1871

Proverbs 13:20 – “Whoever walks with the wise
becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer
harm.”
It was a rather somber drive to the police station. We

were filled with all sorts of emotions associated with
annoyance. We barely said anything to one another,
all that was active was Diesel being on the phone with
Bongani every now and again. After countless calls he
finally updated us.
Diesel: (deep sigh) “He’s not going to be let go

tonight. The charges are sticking – for now. This bitch
cost us really badly.”
Alfred: “What are the charges?”
Diesel: “Apparently she showed them pictures she

took of the last time he beat her senselessly and that
is enough proof for them to believe that she has been
a victim of domestic violence numerous times, so
that’s charge number one on the charge sheet. They
apparently found an unlicensed gun along with a bag
of cocaine in his traveling bag and they added those
charges on his charge sheet.”
Page 677 of 1871
Something wasn’t right at all. Sure the guys dealt
with a lot of guns but they weren’t that reckless to
leave unlicensed guns and drugs in their bags while
we were on a little vacation. That explained why Puse
was so quiet and dodgy throughout the entire trip.
And who was she talking to outside the cabin while
we were talking about her?
Alfred: “Where did she get the bag of cocaine?”
Diesel: “Beats me. Most probably from her brother.”
Biggie: (chuckling) “Hehe, sfebe sela sa re tlwaela

(that bitch is disrespecting us).”
Diesel: “It’s only a matter of time before it explodes.

Who knows what else she told the cops?”
Alfred: “Better yet, who knows what she told her

brother. We all know he doesn’t like us.”
Biggie: “It’s time to get rid of Puse – permanently.”
Page 678 of 1871

I’ve heard that line in movies before. That didn’t
sound very well.”
Nombulelo: “Wait a minute. What do you mean?”
He couldn’t even respond when we saw blue lights

flashing right before us. It looked like two police vans
that were deliberately approaching us. I could feel my
legs shaking when they told us to step out of the car
slowly with our hands in the air. I was hardly nervous
but that night one could swear I felt like I was about to
pass out. They repeated themselves when none of us
were prepared to move; not out of revolt but out of
disbelief. Too much was happening in a short time.
Policeman: (shouting) “Don’t make me repeat

myself! All of you! Walk out of the vehicle slowly
with your hands up!”
Diesel was the first one to open the door and put his
hands up, while the rest of us slowly followed pursuit.
My heart was racing, thinking of the so called bag of
cocaine they found in Zoro’s bag. What if there were
drugs planted in our car as well? We were in a rented
car but who knew what these guys had in their bags?
Page 679 of 1871
Once we were all out, they instructed us to face the
car with our hands behind our heads. It felt like a
documentary for sure. Once we all faced the car, they
came rushing towards us with K9 dogs sniffing all over
us and in the car. I tried my best not to panic while
Alfie was looking at me with such a broken look on his
face. I was not a fan of dogs, and the thought of it
biting me just made me nauseated. The rest of the
crew seemed so normal; they were clearly used to
that. The dogs kept sniffing and about three minutes
in (yes, I was counting) the dogs couldn’t find
anything. The angry police officer kept yelling at the
others to try again and the was told the very same
thing that there was nothing. We still had no idea
what they were looking for, but one thing was for
sure; Puse was surely behind it all.
Policeman: “Alright, let them go. You can all relax

now, gents and ladies.”
When I looked at him it was the very same cop that

arrested Zoro a few hours prior and he looked so sure
that he was going to find whatever he was looking for
when he came charging for us. He humiliated us in
the middle of the road. We were just nearby a garage
Page 680 of 1871
and everyone was staring at us being searched by
these random police officers. He chuckled at us,
making the guys quite angry.
Policeman: “Oh, don’t look so upset. I was just doing

my job. Let’s do hope we don’t meet again because it
won’t end this well – for sure.”
With that said, he took his entire team and they drove
off. I could feel Alfie hyperventilating like a blood
thirsty animal. He squeezed my hand and I could feel
his anxiety vibrating through my entire body.
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Yes.”
Kea: “It’s okay, hun. We get this from time to time.”
Diesel: “Get in. It’s honestly time to deal with Puse.

Zo is waiting for us.”
I had no energy to ask what they were going to do to

her, but I could tell with the tension that they were all
breathing fire and wanted her dead. It was just
Page 681 of 1871
evident. I freaked out, internally. I started thinking of
all the possibilities of me being “offed” by Alfie as well
should I ever fuck him over. When we arrived at the
police station, the very same officer was deliberately
chuckling when he saw us. Zoro was being processed
by Bongani while we waited outside. Kea and Priscilla
were casually drinking just outside the police station.
It was at that moment that I felt I should have been a
drinker or smoker, just to ease my tension. Alfie had
to leave me for a while to go and hear what was
happening with Zoro and his charges. Once he was
out, we were so happy and relieved to have him back.
Priscilla: “Welcome back, Zo. The road trip hasn’t

been the same without you.”
Zoro: (chuckling) “What can I say? I’m a show

stopper.”
They all laughed while I smiled briefly. Alfie came

right back to me the moment they walked out of
there.
Nombulelo: “Where’s Puse?”
Page 682 of 1871

Zoro’s face changed immediately as I asked that.
Zoro: “Don’t worry about her. She’s okay – wherever

she is. Well then, now that our trip has been ruined,
we surely cannot let another night go to waste now,
can we?”
They all agreed and it was party mood all over again. I
thought we were going back home immediately, but
no, we found a nearby lodge halfway home and
booked ourselves in for the night. Bongani went back
to his house immediately after Zoro was released. We
were to deal with the rest the following day.
Thankfully, we were booked into separate rooms and
we each went to bed with our partners. I assumed
Zoro would take that evening as an opportunity to
reflect, but I was wrong. Alfie left me in our room for
a while when he went to get some alcohol for himself
and some snacks for me. I decided to check up on
Millicent and Masabatha, but they were doing just
fine and told me that my mom was quite peaceful
that day. I was worrying about them but at the same
time I tried to enjoy myself. I couldn’t help but think
of Nairobi. Sure, she was one spoilt brat but she was
still my sister. I contemplated calling her and thank
Page 683 of 1871
goodness I didn’t call her because I started hearing
loud sex noises from the room next door. Zoro was in
that room – how unfortunate of me. I heard Alfie
walk in.
Alfie: (shouting) “Honey, I’m home!”
I frowned when I looked at him and he wondered why

for a second until he heard the sex noises and burst
out in laughter.
Alfred: (laughing) “Bathong (goodness), baby! Wa ba

duma (do you envy them)?”
Nombulelo: (shyly) “Stop it. It’s embarrassing. Also,

who is he busy with because Puse is not with us?”
Alfred: “Zo is a man of many talents. Besides, he

probably hooked up with one of the staff members.”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “I most certainly do hope

that he uses protection with all these girls.”
Alfred: “Either way, he is a big boy and it is his life.

With that said, let’s have our own party.”
Page 684 of 1871
He came closer to me and started kissing my neck.
Nombulelo: (softly) “I do hope you have condoms on

you.”
Alfred: “Eish (oh), baby. I forgot to buy them.”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “We can’t have that – not

again. I don’t want to fall pregnant, Alfie – not now.
You know that.”
Alfred: “I am not trying to get you pregnant if that’s

what you’re insinuating. Although, I wouldn’t mind
having a little Nombu of our own.”
Nombulelo: “I’m serious Alfie. We shouldn’t risk

things like that.”
Alfred: (sigh) “Okay, fine. I will be right back then.”
He hurried out and came back within minutes holding

a packet of condoms and a broad smile on his face.
Alfred: (smiling) “Now can we get back to business?”
Page 685 of 1871

I nodded shyly and we had the best sex I could have
thought of at that point in my life. Well, it was the
best for me since he was the only man I had known at
that time. After a few rounds, we lay in bed in each
other’s arms and held a conversation. I felt like it was
the perfect time to address the elephant in the room,
well – at least in my room.
Nombulelo: “Can I ask you something?”
Alfred: “When a woman asks you that after sex it is

not a good sign.”
Nombulelo: “Come on, be serious.”
Alfred: “Okay, sure you can. You can ask me

anything.”
Most of the time when men say that, they don’t really
mean it.
Nombulelo: “What did Puse mean when she said that

you wanted to hook up with her?”
Page 686 of 1871

Alfred: (clicking tongue) “Ah, that one. She’s always
been a whore. Excuse my language, but it’s true.
Diesel, Zoro, Biggie and I have been friends since
forever. We grew up together and he met her long
after we were even friends. She just had a habit of
being unfaithful to Zoro back in our younger days and
he was still a bit of an idiot when it came to
relationships. She would do funny shit and blame it
on the alcohol the next day. One day, she fell asleep
after drinking and the guys went out to get us more
booze while I stayed behind. I was shocked when I
came out of the toilet to find her naked in my bed. I
was furious – to say the least. I don’t roll like that and
we made a pact a long time ago; we don’t date one
another’s women and we don’t go for each other’s
exes.”
What he said did make sense but there was

something else bugging me.
Nombulelo: “So, what happened then? Did Zoro find

out?”
Alfred: “Of course he did. When she wouldn’t budge

and leave me alone I slapped her around a few times.
Page 687 of 1871
It was hard to explain at first – believe me. Zoro
actually believed her for a second and I was broken.
Our friendship took a lot of strain until she confessed
that she tried to seduce me. We let it go though it
was hard to trust Puse again. She never tried any of
that shit again until you came along.”
I heard him talk of all of them but not of whom he

was dating at that point. Surely he had someone
serious in his life as well.
Nombulelo: “I hear you. While they all are still dating

their long time girlfriends, who were you dating?”
He became a little tense and I could sense with the

change in his breathing.
Alfred: “I was dating her sister, Pulane.”
I could feel my heart break a little since what Puse

said could have been true. Was he really a father of
two?
Page 688 of 1871

I kept quiet after that. It was most definitely not a
good sign.
Alfred: (sigh) “I know what you’re thinking.”
Nombulelo: “You do?”
I could feel my voice breaking a little bit and I had no

idea why. It felt like something really heavy was being
placed on my chest making it harder for my heart to
beat and for me to breathe.
Alfred: “Yes.”
He slowly pulled my face up so I could look at him.

My eyesight became a bit blurred due to the hostile
tears approaching my eyes. I refused to let them
down – not for a man to add to that.
Alfred: “Hey, I know, I should have been honest with

you from the beginning – I admit that. My biggest
mistake was not telling you that I have kids, but would
you have stayed if I did?”
Page 689 of 1871

Yep, my worst fear was slowly coming true. It felt like
Priscilla and Kea were both lying to me. Why did they
not tell me? Was I really such a fool?
Nombulelo: “Yes, I would have. There is no reason to

hide your kids.”
Alfred: “I was a little afraid that you wouldn’t want to

be with me had I told you all that.”
The more short answers I provided to him, the more

open he became.
Alfred: “Look, it wasn’t an easy ride. Yes, I dated

Pulane for a brief while and at first it was not even
serious. I hooked up with her while we were young
and it turned into something serious. Within a year,
she fell pregnant. I was 16 at the time. A year later,
she had my second son. I am not ashamed of my kids
– not even but I am ashamed of the woman whom
they call mother.”
Page 690 of 1871

I had no idea what she did but judging by Puse being
Puse, I could tell that Pulane was most probably not
that different.
Alfred: “If you think that Puse is a lot, you’d think

again once you meet Pulane.”
I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to meet her.
Nombulelo: “Is that all you were hiding from me?”
He tensed up and hesitated to answer at first and

then responded.
Alfred: “Yes, that’s all. I’m really sorry.”
Nombulelo: “Okay, just promise me you won’t lie to

me again. No more secrets.”
Alfred: “I promise.”
And just like that, I officially became a clown; all I

needed was the red nose, face paint and the wig to
go along with it. Alfie really did me dirty at that point.
Lies form a deep layer of deception and once it
Page 691 of 1871

thickens, it becomes really hard to get rid of it. We
dozed off for the rest of the evening. We didn’t even
get to enjoy the snacks and alcohol he bought that
evening. The following morning came and I was
rather surprised when Zoro was extremely happy. My
mother would always say “lethabo le tla le sello”
meaning with joy comes sorrow. She would always
say that if a person woke up too happy then they’d cry
before that day ends. We met up in the car as we
could hardly have breakfast at the lodge. The guys
suggested that we get something to eat at a nearby
restaurant so we settled for Wimpy at a nearby
garage halfway back home.
Zoro: (smiling) “Ekse magents (hey gents).”
Biggie: “Someone looks good this morning. You

should visit a jail cell more often.”
Diesel: “Nah, it’s all that pussy they fed him last night.
Nigga could hardly even breathe. He was basically
choking on it.”
They laughed out loud along with him.
Page 692 of 1871

Zoro: (clicking tongue) “Mxm, ah, le busy ka nna
(you’re busy talking about me) but Alfie was getting it
all last night as well.”
I blushed while Alfie called them to order.
Alfred: (clicking tongue) “Mxm, ah, tsek (piss off),

Zoro.”
Zoro: (laughing) “Harde (sorry), man. I’m just fooling

around.”
Alfred: “Do it with someone else – not with my

woman.”
Diesel: “Ja neh, whatever you fed him, Lelo, keep

doing it. I have never seen Alfie so in love before.”
That just hit me that Puse said he brought 6 women

around before me. Could I have been just another
one added to the line? I ignored my worries for a
while as we started eating. I only realized then how
famished I was. The previous day was just filled with
too much drama. While we were eating and throwing
casual banter around, Priscilla received an unusual
Page 693 of 1871
phone call. I could tell that it wasn’t good news
because her smile faded almost instantly and she
started exclaiming in shock and asking what
happened. Usually when that happens it means
someone has departed. Once she hung up the
phone, her face looked entirely bleak like a white
sheet of paper.
Kea: “What is it, babe?”
Priscilla: (teary) “They say Puse is dead.”
My heart dropped to my stomach and for some

reason I looked straight at Zoro who casually carried
on eating while the rest of us looked at Priscilla in
shock. Well, at least I thought they were in shock.
While Kea was asking what happened, Priscilla was
explaining. I had always been so good at reading
energy. I started with Zoro; he just carried on eating
as if he didn’t even hear the news. Diesel just looked
at Priscilla with a dull look on his face. Biggie also
carried on eating like Priscilla was telling us about
some celebrity we didn’t even know while Alfred was
also way too relaxed for my liking. I concluded right
there and then that they meant what they said the
Page 694 of 1871
previous night when they said “Puse must be
eliminated permanently”. It dawned on me that Zoro
had the mother of his children killed. I was part of
some sort of mafia and it felt like the only way out
would also be death or something really drastic for
me. I was officially in a bucket of shit.
As said in Proverbs 22:24-25 – “Make no friendship

with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful
man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a
snare.”
Chapter 39
Psalm 1:1-4 – “Blessed is the man who walks not in
the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of
sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight
is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates
day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of
water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does
not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked
are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives
away.”
Our trip home felt rather somber for me while the

guys were just enjoying themselves. There was never
a lack of alcohol amongst them. I could tell that
Page 695 of 1871
Priscilla and Kea wouldn’t miss Puseletso, but they
weren’t exactly too happy about her making an exit
like that. I knew that those two knew way too much
and if I didn’t ask them, then I wouldn’t have known.
The suspense was killing me. I decided to leave Alfie’s
side and go sit close to Priscilla and Kea who were
right at the back seat. The music was too loud for the
guys to even hear what we were talking about.
Nombulelo: “You two knew, didn’t you?”
They looked at one another and then at me.
Kea: “What do you mean?”
Nombulelo: “When they said that she must be dealt

with. You both knew that this was going to happen,
right?”
They hesitated. Priscilla fiddled with her fingers while

Kea blinked for a few seconds.
Kea: (sigh) “Look, it’s not really that simple.”
Nombulelo: “Then simplify it.”

Page 696 of 1871
Kea: “Okay, yes. We knew.”
Nombulelo: “So, this is what happens? They kill you

when you betray them?”
Priscilla: (nodding) “Yes.”
Nombulelo: “What kind of life is that? Are we in a

mob or something?”
Priscilla: “Look, Lelo, Puse did something horrible.

She betrayed the gang and not even once and most
definitely not twice. She was given more than
enough chances and she blew them all. Now, she
basically sold us all out. It was only a matter of time
before we got arrested. So, would you rather have a
person like that alive and go to prison or would you
prefer her dead with peace of mind and your
freedom?”
She spoke about it so boldly and so cold. I was truly

speechless but little did I know that I would turn out
to be even more vicious than those thoughts of hers.
I still had a conscience; I was young and innocent to a
Page 697 of 1871
certain degree. We had a funeral to prepare for while
I had a death to prepare for. I just couldn’t wait to get
home. My mood changed drastically soon after Kea
and Priscilla justified Puse’s killing just like she was an
animal. Yes, she was such a pest but killing? That was
just too extreme. It makes one wonder when your
time is coming. I didn’t even hesitate to get out of the
car the moment they dropped me off. They wanted
us to all go to Puse’s house and pay our respects but I
just had enough problems of my own. The money
the guys got during the heist was not even my
concern at that point. The moment I walked in, I
found Millicent watching TV. I was just relieved to see
her. I hugged her immediately.
Millicent: “Oh, someone missed me.”
Nombulelo: “You can say that again. How are you?

Are you well?”
Millicent: “Yes, I am. How was your trip?”
Nombulelo: “Ag, it was okay. How was mom? And

Masabatha?”
Page 698 of 1871

Millicent: “Mom has been sleeping too often and
Masabatha is okay. She’s been teaching me how to
pray, you know.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, that’s good.”
She seemed too happy with the entire praying thing

and I didn’t want to kill her vibe. At the end of the
day, each to their own. I went into my mother’s room
to check in on her while Masabatha was sitting right
on the couch reading her Bible as usual. When I
walked in, she smiled at me so broadly and patted the
space of the couch right next to her, signaling me to
come sit next to her. I sat down and she held my
hand. Her warmth always brought calmness to my
soul.
Masabatha: (smiling) “How are you?”
Nombulelo: “I’m good. How are you?”
Masabatha: “Oh, I am always blessed, my dear. How

was your trip? Did you enjoy yourself?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “I tried.”

Page 699 of 1871
She could always smell a lie from a mile away, much
like a real mother. It was just a bit sad that she never
really had children of her own.
Masabatha: (nodding) “Hmm, I see. Well, you do

know that bad company ruins good morals, don’t
you?”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “I don’t follow.”
Masabatha: “Hmm, bad company ruins good morals,

my dear.”
She just left me at that and said that she wanted to

give me some private time with my mother. It felt like
she was preparing me to say goodbye. She closed the
door behind her and I got closer to my mother. I was
gobsmacked at how much weight she had lost. She
looked like there was only skin and bones on her. Her
face was nearly unrecognizable.
Nombulelo: (softly) “Mama…”
Page 700 of 1871

She opened her eyes slowly and I was amazed at how
much they were glowing. She smiled so broadly
when she saw me and lifted her hand so that she
could touch my face. She could barely keep it up
there for a few seconds, so I got closer to her. She
held my face and her hand felt like the life was slowly
slipping away from it.
Gugu: (slowly) “Nombulelo, my baby. I have missed

you. Where have you been?”
Nombulelo: “Out with friends. How have you been?”
Gugu: “Fine, my soul is at peace. Did you see my

babies?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I did.”
Gugu: “How are they? Masabatha tells me that

Rachel is still weak. She cannot cope with my
absence. She wants to leave with me.”
I swallowed hard and painfully so.
Page 701 of 1871

Gugu: “Don’t be so sad, Nombu. I want you to know
that tough times lie ahead, but I will always be with
you.”
Nombulelo: “But Mama, life is hard enough as is.

How will I take care of them all?”
Gugu: “There is always a will. God has forgiven me

and so have my parents and your great grandmother.
I am free. I can leave without any fear of regret.”
I didn’t think that that moment would hit me as hard

as it did. I was not an emotional person at all – at
least not in the midst of people. When they say that
saying goodbye to a dying person is nearly impossible
– they do mean it.
Nombulelo: “But, Ma, I am not ready to let go of you.”
Gugu: “You will be – you’re strong. I know, I have

been so hard on you but it is only because you are the
strong one. I never meant to treat you like you’re
unloved. I love you; I always have and I always will.
Don’t you ever forget that.”
Page 702 of 1871

Nombulelo: “But I have so many unanswered
questions.”
Gugu: “All will be revealed in due time. I promise

you. Good things await you and God wants to use
you to do good things; things I have failed to do and I
have failed to show you.”
Nombulelo: “I have told you a million times; I don’t

believe in God. If He truly loved us as you say He
does, then why did we suffer so much?”
Gugu: “Believe it or not, my child. We have suffered

because of my choices. I have made some really
terrible ones but I don’t regret having any of you.”
Nombulelo: “But you never even told me who my

father is.”
Gugu: “You don’t need to know him now. He was not

ready to have you, but when the time is right, you will
meet him. Hang in there and I promise you, you will
see great things.”
Page 703 of 1871

I was getting so angry at her responses. It felt like she
was being so vague with me.
Nombulelo: “Why can’t you just tell me who it is?!”
She was still so calm and didn’t worry about the fact
that I was yelling at her.
Gugu: “Let me rest for a bit. We will talk later.”
She dozed off immediately after saying that. I was just

so upset yet again that I stormed out of her
bedroom. I rushed to mine to take a few deep
breaths. I refused to cry; it was not in my nature. I
went to the kitchen and found mail right on top of the
microwave. Millicent was kind enough not to open
any of them. I went through each of them and most
were the electricity and water bill, but one particular
one caught my eye. It was a letter from Nairobi’s
school. It had the school’s name and badge on it and
had a red “Final Demand” stamp on it. My heart was
not at ease just by looking at that. I immediately
ripped it open and after reading the first few
sentences I just knew that it was bad news. “Dear
Ms. Gugulethu Makeba, after numerous attempts to
contact you regarding your daughter Nairobi
Page 704 of 1871
Makeba’s school fees account, we regret to inform
you of the following:
1. Despite your numerous attempts you have failed
to reach an agreement with the school.
2. You have failed to pay your child’s school fees for
over three months.
3. Your child will no longer be able to continue with
us for the coming year.
Your school fees account is in arrears of R15000.
Should you wish her to continue with us you will need
to add January’s fees as well with an amount of R5
500. In total, you will have to pay R20500 on or
before school’s open. We wish to hear from you
soon.
Regards.”
I felt my soul leave my body for a short minute there.

That meant my mother was paying a total of R50 000
per year for Nairobi’s fees. That spoilt brat was
attending at the best school while we were going to a
government school. I felt my rage arise yet again.
How on earth did she get it right? On most days, we
would eat nothing fancier than chicken feet but
Nairobi would always be sorted. It dawned on me
Page 705 of 1871
that not once did we even bother asking about our
fathers. As far as we were concerned our fathers
didn’t want us and were not involved in our lives. But
if she could afford Nairobi’s fees, then something big
was brewing behind closed doors. It was such a
shame that she was on her dying bed and I couldn’t
ask her yet. That entire day felt like death itself was
reeking in the house. I tried my best to continue with
my day after reading that letter. I left it on top of the
microwave unwittingly and sat in my room. It wasn’t
very long when Alfie called to let me know that he
was outside. I wasn’t very keen to go to him but I
went anyway.
Alfred: “Hi.”
Alfred: (frowning) “Did I do something wrong?”
Nombulelo: “No, why?”
Alfred: “You’ve been so moody ever since we came

back from the trip. What’s the matter, Nomulelo?”
Page 706 of 1871

He called me by my full name. I knew he was upset.
Nombulelo: “Nothing.”
Alfred: “I won’t ask you again.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “I don’t like what you did – what

you all did. Firstly you keep the kids a secret from me
– all of you. Then you keep Nairobi dating Prince a
secret from me – all of you by the way. And now, you
get Puseletso killed and still keep it a secret from me!
All of you just think I’m a fool or something. Is this
how you run things in your little crew?! You are all
acting like I am part of your family yet here you are
sidelining me! How dare you even kill someone
because she betrayed you?! Does that mean I’m
next?!”
I could feel my blood boiling and I was even unaware

that my tears were running endlessly on my cheeks. I
didn’t even realize how much I was screaming. I saw
him get out of the car and open my door. There I was
thinking I was about to meet my fate but he gently
pulled me out of the car and held me tightly. We
stood in that position locked in each other’s arms for
Page 707 of 1871
a few minutes. I had no idea why I was so emotional
at that point but I was just crying silently in his arms.
His shirt was so wet due to my tears. After a while I
calmed down and my breathing became stable again.
Not once did he say a word while I was crying. He
was just brushing my back gently.
Alfred: “Come, let’s go visit the triplets.”
I just nodded without a further word. Once we got

into the car he drove and intermittently held my
hand. He brought calmness to me whenever needed
and he understood where I was coming from on most
days. We went to the hospital though it was just after
2pm. I had no idea how Alfie did it but we could
enter there despite visiting hours. Seeing them again
made me feel much better again. I started smiling
and my heart felt so radiant yet again. Rachel on the
other hand looked so frail. She was still not picking up
weight. I remembered my mother’s words; “Rachel
wants to leave with me and she is ready”. I even
remembered Masabatha saying that Rachel would die
when my mother died. Seeing her tiny, fragile body
like that made me not want her to die. I didn’t want
that. She surely deserved a chance to live much like
Page 708 of 1871
the other two. It just wasn’t fair at all. I didn’t feel like
praying since I didn’t really know how. It just didn’t
even gel with my soul – just the thought of it. So, I
just felt like having hope that she would pull through.
She just had to. I felt at ease as we left the hospital.
Alfred: “Do you mind if we go to my house for a

while? We are just going to chill. I just want to be
close to you.”
I agreed. He passed by the drive through and bought

us some food and a six pack for himself. We got to his
house and ate and just sat next to one another and
watched TV. He said nothing, but his body
communicated with me. He sent me signals showing
me that he was there for me no matter what and I
appreciated that. We didn’t have sex at all that day,
but we shared countless moments of intimacy. That
was more than enough for the both of us. He took
me back home at dawn as I felt the need to be close
to my mother. Something felt odd within the house,
but I just couldn’t tell what it was. Millicent went to
bed early and Masabatha was sleeping in my
mother’s bedroom on the couch. I went straight to
my room and it looked like someone was in it. A few
Page 709 of 1871
items were misplaced. I felt so tired that I just
assumed it was Millicent. I dozed off the moment I
sat on that bed. By midnight I got up and something
just felt off. I couldn’t sleep at all. Oddly, I didn’t hear
my mother reciting Psalm 23 at that time as usual. It
felt deadly quiet in the house, literally. Within a few
minutes, I heard a faint knock on the door.
Nombulelo: “Who is it?”
Masabatha: “It’s me, Masabatha. Can I come in?”
She opened the door slightly and came in looking so

pale. She just didn’t look right. I could always read
energy.
Nombulelo: “Is everything alright?”
Masabatha: “Please go wake Millicent. I need you

both to come to your mother’s bedroom.”
I felt as if my heart made a loud thud and dropped to

the pit of my stomach and forced itself right back up.
Page 710 of 1871
Nombulelo: “Is there a problem, Mme (ma)?”
Masbatha: “No, there is no problem at all. Please go

wake her. I’ll be waiting for you.”
I nodded and rushed hastily to Millicent’s bedroom.

As I walked past my mother’s room the door was
locked but the aura surrounding it was just different. I
knocked on her door a few times and opened. She
was quite fast asleep. I shook her briefly.
Millicent: “Hmm, what is it?”
Nombulelo: “Wake up. Masabatha wants to see us.”
She jumped up immediately after realizing what I had

just said. She got into her robe as well and off we
went to the bedroom. We knocked softly before
opening the door.
Masabatha: “Come in my girls.”
The light was on and I saw her with an open Bible

knelt down right beside my mother. She had her
Page 711 of 1871

hand in hers but it just looked so different; my
mother’s hand looked so – lifeless. Just by looking at
that I knew that she was no more. My mother was
slightly sitting up with her mouth open. Her eyes
were open but I couldn’t see any movement of
breathing on her chest. Millicent started feeling
anxious as we walked closer. I knew I had to comfort
her so I squeezed her hand tightly.
Masabatha: “It’s okay, come closer.”
We walked closer and knelt right next to her.
Masabatha: (softly) “As you can see, your mother is

no more. She took her last breath a few minutes
ago.”
Millicent wailed loudly. It pierced my heart but I

didn’t want to cry just yet. We let her be and allowed
her to have her moment.
Nombulelo: (teary) “Did she suffer?”
Page 712 of 1871

Masabatha: (shaking head) “No, I was right with her
and I read Psalm 23 for her. Every last word. She took
her last breath right after I was done.”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Thank you so much, Mme

(ma). You have really done the most for us. I doubt
anyone could ever care for us the way you do.”
Masabatha: “There is no need to thank me. I am

doing it out of love. Come, let us pray. We need to
pray for her soul to depart safely and not to have any
regrets. Her ancestors have come to fetch her.”
I allowed her to pray though I didn’t believe in any of

it. I just stared at my mother’s lifeless body while
Masabatha was praying. As soon as she was done,
she closed her eyes and she looked so much at
peace. Death is just something one can never
understand. I was hurt, angry and just confused.
Masabatha: “You need to call Nairobi. She has to

come here before we can get the undertakers to get
the body.”
Page 713 of 1871

Millicent was crying silently throughout. She was
broken; we were speaking the same language. She
loved our mother but at the same time she was still
grieving all the hurt she had caused her. I could only
imagine if she did apologize to her the way she did to
me.
Nombulelo: “I will see if I can get hold of her. She

most probably won’t answer my phone calls now.”
Masabatha: “She might because she was here today.”
I was a bit taken aback at the fact that she was there
yet she didn’t bother to let me know or bother to
stay. I let Millicent go back to her bedroom and cry it
out there while I called that bitch Nairobi. She didn’t
answer the first three phone calls but only picked up
on the fourth. I could hear that she was in a loud
place, a party maybe.
Nairobi: “Yes?”
She was even answering me like I was a piece of trash.

Page 714 of 1871
Nairobi: “Somewhere. Do you need something?”
I chuckled in disbelief. Did she really think I could ever

need anything from her?
Nombulelo: “Come home. Your mother just died.”
With that said I hung up the phone. She just angered

me so much that I didn’t even want to say a word
further. Luckily Masabatha didn’t judge me at all for
that.
Masabatha: “You can start calling the mortuary.”
I had no idea if my mother even had funeral cover.

Knowing her she didn’t have a single dime to her
name. I had to search through her papers in her
bedroom with her lifeless body on that bed. It was a
bit difficult for me but Masabatha was right there to
make it all seem a little better for me. I couldn’t find
anything useful regarding a funeral or a policy of
some sort.
Nombulelo: “It doesn’t seem like she had any cover.”

Page 715 of 1871
Masabatha: (nodding) “Search her drawers. There
might be something.”
I searched endlessly and came across a funeral policy

that she drafted with OneLife. It just dawned on me
because they mostly covered people with terminal
illness and HIV. I didn’t want to dwell on that. My
mother had just died a week before schools re-
opened and I needed to bury her with dignity. I
decided to call them, only to be told that “your
mother’s funeral policy lapsed six months ago”. I felt I
could also just die right there. It was just one bad
thing after the other. Alfie called me soon after that
phone call.
Nombulelo: “Hello?”
Alfred: “Hey. Are you awake?”
Chapter 40
2 Corinthians 5:17 – “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ,
he is a new creation. The old has passed away;
behold, the new has come.”
Page 716 of 1871

When I was pulled away from Nairobi, I could feel my
knuckles throbbing, but it was all worth it. I just knew
how badly I needed that moment. That beating was a
long time coming. Masabatha was speechless to say
the least, while Millicent was quite shocked when she
came out of her room.
Masabatha: “Nombulelo, you have to calm down.

You cannot let your rage take over you like this. It is
not healthy – more especially with the situation at
hand.”
Nombulelo: (fuming) “I don’t care, Mme (ma)! I’ll kill

her!”
Her friends saw the rage in my eyes and they were

terrified. Masabatha could see that I was in a very
bad state and for some reason she was just very
understanding at most. She looked at Alfie.
Masabatha: “Please, take her outside to calm down a

little bit while we sort out the issue with the body.”
I was yet to get used to calling my mother in past

tense and she was now a “body” and not a person
Page 717 of 1871
any more. It hurt, it truly hurt. Alfie gently pulled me
by hand and dragged me out of the house. Not once
did I lose sight of Nairobi. I made sure to look at her
so she could never forget how angry I was that night.
Millicent was too distraught to speak yet she knew
that I would never have lost it on Nairobi like that
without reason. Alfie opened the car door for me and
let me in and went to his side. He let me calm down
and settle my breathing while he sat there and stared
at me calmly. Once I started breathing normally
again, he started speaking.
Alfred: “My uncle owns a funeral parlour. I can get

them to do the entire burial – for the both of them. It
will be very dignified, you can be sure of it.”
He was so sincere and not once did he ask me about

Nairobi. It was as if he understood. He most probably
would have done the same.
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “I can’t expect you to do

that for me, Alfred. I’m supposed to be your girl – not
a charity case.”
Page 718 of 1871

Alfred: “You’re not a charity case. I am doing this out
of love. Besides, I spoke to him about it the minute I
heard your mom was ill. He knows and I will pay him
well at that.”
I looked at him and I could feel the wetness reappear

in my eyes again. My tears were really deceiving me
that night. They just streamed down without caution.
Nombulelo: (teary) “I can’t expect that of you, Alfred,

really. I had saved that money I got from the first gig
just for this. I can’t handle all this stress right now. I
have school in a week. This is all just too much for
me.”
He gently held my hand.
Alfred: “Then let me help. You won’t have to lift a

finger nor pay a single cent. Besides, you still have
your cut from the recent heist. You’ll have more as
well now that Puse is no more.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “I don’t deserve you, Alfie. I really

don’t.”
Page 719 of 1871

Alfred: “You do – it is I who doesn’t deserve you. All I
want is for you to have peace of mind. Please allow
me to do this for you.”
I nodded in agreement and he took out his phone and

made the call. His uncle’s people arrived in 15
minutes to take the body. By then it was around 3am
in the morning. I just didn’t feel like myself that time.
My mother was put in a body bag and I was never
going to see her smile or hear her yell at me ever
again. It tore me apart. The house felt so cold and
now with Nairobi there as well, I just felt like I was
going to creep into her room and smother her to
death. It was as if Masabatha knew how I felt hence
she came out of the house to speak to me. I wanted
to come out, but she signaled for Alfie to just open
the window.
Masabatha: “Normally it is not how we do things, but

given the current circumstances I think it is best for
you to leave with Alfred. You can come back in the
morning.”
Page 720 of 1871

Of course Alfie was more than happy to do that, but I
wanted to be home so I could finish off what I had
started.
Alfred: (nodding) “Okay, Ma. I will be sure to bring her

back as soon as possible.”
Masabatha nodded and greeted us goodbye. Alfred

started the engine and off we went. I had too much
on my mind. I had to fetch Rachel’s tiny body from
the hospital as well. Hell was just inviting me in
slowly. Once we got to his house, I didn’t even want
to watch TV as usual, so we headed straight to the
bedroom. There is just something about grief and
vulnerability. It just makes one so prone to
susceptibility. I just had such a big hole in my heart
and wanted to fill it so badly. Alfie was the only
person there who made me feel so understood. He
always had a boner whenever he was with me either
way. I turned around and looked him deep in the
eyes and made an unfamiliar request.
Nombulelo: (softly) “Make love to me, Alfie.”
Page 721 of 1871

Alfred: “Are you sure? I don’t want it to seem as if I
am taking advantage of you.”
Nombulelo: “I’m begging you.”
He didn’t waver – not one bit. He kissed me

sensually, passionately and oh, so deeply. Our souls
locked that evening and our love was officially
consummated. We had made love plenty of times
but that evening felt like the very first time. For a few
moments I lost my breath and felt like tomorrow
would never come. Not once did I ever think that
we’d create something completely brand new. We
created something that some people never get
blessed with in life, but I had made a vow to myself a
long time ago when I became an adolescent that I’d
never end up like my mother – ever, even if it meant
that I’d commit murder to my own blood.
I even lost count on the many times we woke up
during those early morning hours to make love to one
another yet again. It was as if we were blood thirsty
vampires baying for blood. The following morning
came and as promised, he took me straight home,
but he was determined to assist me throughout. That
morning he woke up a completely changed man. He
Page 722 of 1871
was still the same and loving Alfie that I knew, but a
with a little extra 50% if I can put it that way. It’s a
little hard to explain but he became a little more
attached and hardly left my side. Even when Zoro and
the crew informed him about going to Puse’s house,
he told them that he had bigger problems to be with
and that I too needed support. It was a bit weird but I
too felt more connected to him as well strange
enough. Masabatha was up early cleaning the
house. I felt a little bad that she was helping so much
while I had a great time in my boyfriend’s bed. She
was the only person who could make me feel
embarrassed. I walked in to find my best friend
Michelle patiently waiting for me. I felt so bad
because I hadn’t seen her in such a long time and I
had kept so much from her. As I said, grief and
vulnerability go together; they are like a pair and one
cannot live without the other until the grieving
process is complete. When I walked in with Alfie and I
saw Michelle, I didn’t even worry about everything
else. I started tearing up immediately and seeing her
made me feel completely at ease. I just rushed
towards her and she hugged me so dearly. I felt as if I
was home. Alfie had never met Michelle but he knew
of her. I would occasionally talk of her during our little
Page 723 of 1871
pillow talk moments. I cried softly in my best friend’s
arms and luckily I had a man who understood me.
Alfred: “I’ll be right outside.”
He went outside and gave us our moment. After

crying my eyeballs out for a few moments, we could
finally sit down and talk. The brokenness I saw in her
face made me see what a genuine friend I had in her.
She never judged me despite my choices and lifestyle.
Michelle: (teary) “I’m so sorry, friend. Oh, gosh. I

haven’t been such a good friend to you. I tried calling
and texting you a few times but I figured you were
busy. Had I known how bad the situation was right
after you told me of her illness, I’d have been here
every step of the way. I hope you can find it in your
heart to forgive me.”
She felt bad apart from how I had been treating her
really. Imagine that.
Nombulelo: “No, friend. If anyone should feel

horrible it should be me. I haven’t been a very good
friend towards you. You went out of your way to try
Page 724 of 1871
and be there for me yet I just didn’t give you a chance
to be the friend you always been to me. I am the one
who needs to ask for forgiveness – not you.”
Michelle: “Oh, honey. Now is not the time to blame

anyone. How are you feeling? I know you don’t like
being vulnerable, but please, do be honest.”
Nombulelo: “If I am being honest, I don’t know. I am

just going through so much and I have so much to tell
you.”
She asked me how it all started and I explained

everything to her from the moment I discovered my
mother’s illness to Alfie and I. Of course I never told
her about me partaking in heists and shoplifting. She
wouldn’t have taken it well as Bible friendly as she
was. She was quite stunned to hear that I had lost my
virginity but she didn’t judge me – not one bit. If
anything, she wished me well with him and prayed
that I stayed with him until marriage. That was not
something I saw for myself actually, but I appreciated
her reaction. All that while Alfie was right outside
smoking every now and then and assisting Masabatha
with cleaning and tidying the yard. Millicent was fast
Page 725 of 1871
asleep yet she was not someone who slept in until
late in the morning. She was probably tired from all
the crying. Nairobi on the other hand was the laziest
out of us and when I told Michelle about how I beat
her up, she laughed out loud.
Nombulelo: “Kao botsa, chomi (I’m telling you,

chomi). Ke mo moerile (I moered her).”
Michelle: (laughing) “You can’t do that, man. She is

your sister either way.”
Nombulelo: “My sister who stole my money. Now my

poor boyfriend has to bury my mother. Imagine. We
haven’t even been dating for 3 months yet he has to
take on such a huge role in my life.”
Michelle: “I must say, I am not very excited about you

dating such an old guy more especially with what I
have heard of him, but I can see he makes you happy
and I am all here for it.”
Nombulelo: “Do you really mean it, friend?”
Michelle: “More than you’ll ever know.”

Page 726 of 1871
I was quite happy to see how genuine she was about
it all. It just made me smile. I knew then that I could
formally introduce my boyfriend to my best friend.
Nombulelo: “Thank you so much, Michelle! I was so

worried that you wouldn’t accept him hence I never
told you about him.”
Michelle: “Your happiness comes first and I wouldn’t

want anything to ruin our friendship.”
Nombulelo: (excitedly) “Well, then, I think it is

officially time for you two to meet each other, don’t
you think?”
Michelle: (smiling) “I’d like that very much.”
I hurried outside to call Alfie and he hurried into the

house. The moment he came in he briefly touched
my back.
Alfred: “Is everything alright?”
Page 727 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Oh, of course. I thought it’s officially
time for you to meet my best and only friend,
Michelle.”
Alfred: (smiling) “It’s lovely to finally meet you,

Michelle.”
He extended his hand to her and she shook his hand.
Michelle: “It’s a pleasure to meet you too, Alfred.”
He asked me again if I was okay and then pecked me

on the lips before heading outside again. Once
Michelle and I were done speaking, Masabatha asked
me to go with her to the hospital so that we could
release Rachel’s spirit. She specifically asked the
hospital staff not to let Rachel off the machines until
we got there. She was such a darling to be honest.
She even waited for me to finish speaking to Michelle
before we could go to the hospital. I honestly don’t
know what I would have done without her there.
Alfred drove us to the hospital and I was yet to face
another moment of grief. Millicent and Nairobi were
still cooped up in their rooms.
Page 728 of 1871

I accepted Millicent’s part, but I got the feeling that
Nairobi was deliberately avoiding me and I knew she
was hungover. I was yet to find her and finish what I
had started. When we got there, Rachel was hooked
up onto machines. Seeing her tiny body breathing
with assistance, broke my heart. She was not
breathing on her own and as stated by the doctor she
was brain dead. She had passed on during the early
hours of the morning, soon after my mother also
made her own departure from this earth. Alfred
waited for the both of us just outside the ward.
Masabatha took out a few things from her bag and lit
a candle. The hospital didn’t really allow such
according to policy, but they respected culture and
tradition more especially when loved ones came to
fetch the soul of the departed patients. It seemed like
such a futile life just wasted before it had even
begun. Masabatha started speaking and praying once
she lit the candle and burnt the incense.
Masabatha: (praying) “Father God, our loving God,

the lord of all mercy and grace and fruitfulness. You
who bears life so effortlessly and gracefully. You have
loved us before we were even born. Dear God, I
come before you today as one of your children. For
Page 729 of 1871
You know why You never blessed me with my own
children, but I have plenty of children who call me
mother. You know why these children made it to this
earth; You created them with a vision we are yet to
see unfold. You loved them before you even created
them, as you have said in Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I
formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you
were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a
prophet to the nations.” You probably didn’t want
Rachel to suffer the same fate as the one in the Bible,
but we both know that one of Gugu’s children will
suffer the same fate – within reason. Rachel,
Nombulelo and I have come to greet you farewell. I
know that your spirit will be well accepted on the
other side for your mother is with you. I pray that you
do not become a troublesome spirit. You were just an
innocent child and no one can blame you for the way
you came into this world. You may leave now; do not
be weary of your brother and sister. They won’t
forget about your existence. You are pain free now.”
Once she said that and blew the candle out, Isaiah
and Hannah started crying and became restless for a
good few minutes. I became so emotional. I was
never one to cry in public, but seeing my baby sister
Page 730 of 1871
like that broke my heart entirely. Her breathing tube
was removed and I saw her tiny, lifeless body right
there. I never got to witness her first smile, first walk,
first everything. That was the part that really messed
me up really badly. I found myself crying heavily as
Masabatha comforted me like a mother needed to. I
cried and let go of that little piece that was ripped out
of my heart as I said goodbye to little Rachel. We
were now a family of 5. It was a huge adjustment but
the other two weren’t given the all clear as yet.
Private hospitals are just like that. I personally saw
nothing wrong with Isaiah and Hannah but they
claimed they still needed to be there for a while. I felt
quite bad for Alfie who had to pay all those bills and
for my mother’s funeral – not forgetting Rachel’s. I
was a real mess. When we got out of there, I was
probably red in the face because Alfred stood up with
genuine concern.
Alfred: “Are you alright? Is everything okay?”
The moment he asked that, I became so

hyperemotional and broke down yet again. It was as
if I was grieving all over again whenever someone
asked me if I was okay. Alfie just held me tightly until I
Page 731 of 1871
was done crying. Once the crying and wailing turned
into sniffing, Masabatha suggested that we go back
home. Alfred was doing his mighty best and ensured
that his Uncle and his funeral parlour collected
Rachel’s body as well. We were preparing ourselves
for a double funeral. Once we got home, Masabatha
was the only elder we had and ensured that she
sorted out the logistics. Before we could even get
down to it, once we opened the door, we found
Nairobi digging into food in the kitchen like a thief in
the night. When she saw us, it was basically too late
for her to run away so she froze the moment she saw
us. At that point all my sadness and hurt turned into
rage and deep seethed anger all over again. I nearly
charged at her not even minding my painful knuckles
but Alfie stopped me really quickly.
Alfred: “No, now is not the time, Lelo, please.”
Nombulelo: (breathing heavily) “You – sit.”
I ordered her to sit down and tried my best not to

beat her up all over again. She was hesitant but had
no choice. She sat at the far edge of the couch where
Masabatha was seated while I sat right across her
Page 732 of 1871
with Alfred. I wanted to look her right in the eye
when she lied to me.
Nombulelo: (breathing heavily) “Are you ready to

explain yourself?”
I honestly thought that she would be remorseful

about what she did, but her attitude reeked
throughout the entire house. Even a sewage couldn’t
outshine her.
Nairobi: (flippant) “Explain what?”
I could feel myself get worked up all over again, but

Alfred would pin me down really quickly before I
could even get up entirely.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Are you sure that’s your

answer?”
She looked at me really well and analysed me before

answering. She could clearly see that my eyes were
being filled with red.
Page 733 of 1871

Nairobi: “I mean, I don’t know what you want me to
say. My school fees was in arrears and I had to do
something.”
Nombulelo: (angrily) “So, you decided to use my R90

000?! Your fees were in arrears of just over R20 000!
What did you do with the rest of the money?!”
Her answer to that question is what threw me over

the roof.
Nairobi: “I paid my fees for the coming year.”
Nombulelo: (angrily) “And what happened to the

remaining R20 000?!”
Nairobi: “I spoiled myself.”
I started breathing heavily as I stared at her. She

should have been glad that Alfred and Masabatha
were there because my war with her was not over –
not even by a long shot.
Nombulelo: “Let me ask you this then; your boyfriend

couldn’t assist you with your fees and not once did
Page 734 of 1871
you think of Millicent and I’s fees? You decided to
blow the money just like that? What do you think
we’re going to eat in the coming few months? Did
you even think of what we were going to bury our
mother with?”
Nairobi: “Well, you have a boyfriend, don’t you? If he

could give you that much money then it means we’re
sorted. Besides, we all know what Mastermind does
for a living. Prince told me everything.”
I blew a gasket right there. I launched at her and

grabbed her by the throat. Alfred was quite strong
yet even he couldn’t get me off her for a few
seconds. Masabatha was begging me to let go but I
just wouldn’t hear of it. Seeing her eyes become a
little lifeless sent pure joy to my heart. I felt
goosebumps thinking that I’d finally be free of taking
care of the little pest. I then heard Alfred’s calming
voice.
Alfred: “Lelo, she’s not worth it. You still have to finish
your matric. What would your mother say if she were
here right now?”
Page 735 of 1871

Slowly I let go of Nairobi’s throat as she started
gasping for air. I just stared at her with tears in my
eyes. I felt so betrayed and worst of all by my own
blood.
Nombulelo: (calmly) “You’ve always been a real pest

in my life. You out of all people never felt the pain
Millicent and I went through. You have always felt so
entitled; more entitled than the both of us. You have
always felt like you are worthy of all our mother’s
love, attention and everything else. You’d better take
this as a warning. Try that shit on me again – anything
and you will regret it. One more strike and you’re
out. If you want to live in my house it will be
according to my rules.”
She was too distraught to speak. I would have killed

her and I wouldn’t have regretted it one bit.
Masabatha: “Okay, now that we are all calm and

settled again, can we quickly go through the logistics
of the funeral, please?”
I just nodded in agreement while staring at Nairobi. I
never thought I’d ever be able to loathe my own flesh
and blood the way I loathed her.
Page 736 of 1871
Masabatha: “As you all know that infants are buried
within days of their passing and since we have less
than a week left for you all to go back to school, I
thought it would be fitting to have the funeral on
Thursday, if that’s okay with you, Nombulelo.”
She was way older than me but valued my opinion

still. It was my mother and sister, but still. She was
just a godsend. Her softness just sent me straight to
embarrassed mode. I behaved in such a terrible
manner that I just couldn’t look her in the eye.
Nombulelo: “Yes, Mme (ma), that’s fine with me.”
Masabatha: (nodding) “Good. People will start

coming in and out of the house starting from
tomorrow. I suggest that you get your things in check
and lock them up. Anything can happen – even with
church ladies around.”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “It is noted, Ma.”
Masabatha: “I will go and prepare some dinner for

us.”
Page 737 of 1871
She went straight to the kitchen while Nairobi rushed
to her bedroom. I hadn’t seen Millicent in a while, so
I decided to check up on her while Alfred went
outside to sort out the logistics of what else was
needed. She was still in bed and looked really sad.
She couldn’t stop staring at our mother’s pictures but
at least she wasn’t crying any more. I ensured that
she was okay before I went out of her bedroom
again. When I went outside, Alfie cut the call
immediately and attended to me.
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Yes, I am.”
Alfred: “Okay then. The guys would like to come by

and pay their respects to your mom and sister
tomorrow. I told them I’d run it by you first.”
Nombulelo: “Won’t that be awkward? I mean Puse is

also gone and I haven’t even been to her house with
you guys.”
Page 738 of 1871

Alfred: “In this crew we look out for one another. You
have a lot on your plate and surely no one expects
you to help us mourn her while you have to bury two
of your own.”
Chapter 41
Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted

and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Alfred was with me the entire day. I appreciated all

his efforts; from making all the necessary calls to
waiting until the marquee was set up. He didn’t just
order a standard burial package for my mother and
Rachel – no, he ensured that he took the very last one
on the list and the most expensive one at that.
Catering was included along with groceries and top
notch caskets. Till today, I still don’t get why people
go all out on loved ones’ funerals. It is just ridiculous
to be honest. My mother lived a very troublesome
and pathetic life at one point only to be buried in
style. It didn’t make sense to me but I appreciated it.
With each hour that passed, my heart was still not at
ease with Nairobi and her poor decision making. I
really wanted to make an example out of her to be
Page 739 of 1871
honest. I wanted to sort her out for good because I
just had a feeling that she was going to be one major
trouble maker. Alfred could sense the change in my
mood. I actually was hoping for him to leave so that I
could finally deal with Nairobi.
Alfred: (frowning) “What are you planning, Lelo?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know what you mean?”
Alfred: “I can see it in your eyes. Out with it.”
Nombulelo: “It’s nothing, really. In fact I am just a bit

tired. Maybe you should go home so that I can take a
nap.”
Alfred: (shaking head) “We both know that you are

not one to sleep this early. It is only 5pm. I know you
are planning something, Lelo. I can feel it.”
Nombulelo: “It’s all in your mind. In fact, maybe I
should call Masabatha so that you two can say your
goodbyes, hey?”
As I was about to rush into the house, I was stunned

by Masabatha’s request. It was as if that woman just
Page 740 of 1871
knew my each and every move. She stood right by
the door as if she was blocking me from entering my
own house.
Masabatha: “Looking for me, I see.”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Yes, I wanted to call you so

that Alfred could greet you goodbye. I need some
rest.”
Masabatha: (shaking head) “I see. Well, I actually

came out here to ask Alfred if he could take you with.
You need to be away from here until the day before
the funeral.”
I was instantly bored. It was as if she could read my
mind. She was always one step ahead of me.
Nombulelo: “That’s not necessary, Ma. I need to be

in the house either way.”
Masabatha: “Yes, it is necessary. If you sleep here,

another corpse will emerge. I know what you are
planning and I am avoiding it. Now, go get your
overnight bag and go with Alfred. Sleep there and
Page 741 of 1871

come back a bit later tomorrow morning. It is only
one quite more night either way.”
I was bored, I even tried to reason with her and put
Millicent into the equation but she wanted none of it.
I dragged my feet to my bedroom while she was
literally walking behind me. When I passed Nairobi’s
room, I felt the rage within me but this time it was
tinged with a bit of sorrow. I had no idea why it felt
like I wanted to cry; I was just so hyperemotional. I
packed my bag and let Masabatha be. Just as I was
about to leave the house, she took both my hands in
hers.
Masabatha: “Please do remember; every action has a

consequence. I do hope for your sake that you make
the right choice for what’s about to come.”
She confused me so much as she looked into my eyes

with so much seriousness.’
Nombulelo: “What do you mean, Mme (ma)?”
She smiled at me and let go of my hands.
Page 742 of 1871

Masabatha: “Go now, the father of your children is
waiting for you.”
I had no idea what she meant nor why she was even
talking like that. She had a tendency of being a bit
silly at times so I let her be. Alfred was of course too
excited to take me home with him. When we got
there he ran me a bath and cooked for me while I was
in the bathroom. It felt like I really needed that bath.
I spent over an hour in the bath tub until the skin on
my fingertips became a bit wrinkled. Once I was done
he came to tell me that dinner was ready. I headed
downstairs and we had a pleasant meal. I didn’t know
why, but that oxtail was so tender and delicious. I
wasn’t really a fan of meat but I enjoyed that meat
that evening. I even went for a third helping much to
both our surprise.
Alfred: (frowning) “You have such an appetite

tonight.”
Nombulelo: “Are you trying to say that I am eating too

much?”
I felt so offended and I had no idea why.

Page 743 of 1871
Alfred: (frowning) “No, baby, not at all. Come on.”
Nombulelo: (clicking tongue) “Ai (oh).”
He could see that I was offended and even I had no

idea why. He tried to get me to smile again but I just
wasn’t there. He let me be and blamed it on
everything that was happening. He was so patient
with me. We had just been dating for a mere two
months but he was just into everything I was doing.
We watched TV for a long while and he had beer in
between. When he needed a smoke he went outside
to the balcony but oddly, the cigarette smelled quite
awful for me. It never bothered me that much before
but that evening it just irritated me and I just couldn’t
help it.
Alfred: “Keng (what is it)? Did I do something

wrong?”
Nombulelo: “No, it’s just – that smell.”
Alfred: “What smell?”
Page 744 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Your cigarettes smell horrible, Alfred. I
can’t help it.”
Alfred: (chuckling) “You must be joking. I mean it

never bothered you that much.”
Nombulelo: “I know, but now it makes me feel like
vomiting even. I’m going to bed then. You stay with
that smell but one thing is for sure – you’re not
coming to bed smelling like that.”
He laughed in disbelief but I was dead serious. He

saw how serious I was and so, he decided to take a
shower. He even threw his clothes in the washing
machine and washed them before coming to bed. He
brushed his teeth too which made me smile from ear
to ear. When I smelled the lovely clean scent from
him as he kissed my neck, I was just overjoyed.
Alfred: (smiling) “Now, can I come into my bed?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, but aren’t we like supposed to

abstain from intercourse since I have a funeral at
home?”
Page 745 of 1871

Alfred: “I don’t believe in that. We’ll get cleansed
then – right before the funeral. Right now, baby, I
need you. I mean, utlwa e eme bjang (feel how hard
it is).”
He directed my hand towards his penis and it was
rock hard, making me feel so embarrassed.
Alfred: “Ao (oh), baby love. You can’t be so shy right

now. Come now.”
He got on top of me and as usual we made sweet love

a couple of times. So much was going on that we just
weren’t paying attention to the obvious. We slept
and even stayed in bed until a bit late. When it was
about 10am I decided to get up and we had a quickie
just before getting ready. He drove me back home
around 11am and by then I saw Michelle’s parents
leaving my house. The tenants right outside were
minding their business. They were a breeze to have
around and at times I’d even forget we have tenants
because they were just not troublesome at all. I went
in and greeted Masabatha. Millicent was still in her
bedroom while Nairobi was nowhere to be found.
She was probably avoiding me.
Page 746 of 1871

Alfred: “Babe, the crew is on their way. Is it okay with
you?”
He texted them back and I had no idea what to expect

other than a normal condolences, only to get the
shock of my life when they arrived. They were all
dressed in style of course – but in sequence this time.
They were all wearing Gucci from head to toe. I had a
lot to learn about that crew and it just felt so odd
having them all there except Puse since everyone had
a partner. Zoro looked pretty chuffed with himself
and too comfortable not having a woman alongside
him. I felt so underdressed – mourning or not. I
could smell their perfume scent all the way from the
lounge. That’s just how powerful they looked and
expensive they smelled. Alfie knocked sternly on the
lounge door and smiled at me so proudly. It was as
ifhe wanted me to see all their efforts.
Alfred: (smiling broadly) “Baby, the crew is here.”
They all walked in and greeted me the African way –

one by one with the same old words; “my
Page 747 of 1871
condolences”. Kea and Priscilla looked nothing less
than Mafia Divas while Zoro, Biggie and Diesel all had
a fat fanny pack that hung around their waists. I
thought to myself that it was probably a part of their
attire that day, but I was very wrong. I don’t know,
but there is indeed something comforting about your
loved ones or friends coming to offer their
condolences and to cry with you at your house during
your bereavement. It just makes one so emotional. I
could feel my tears warming my eyes. We all sat
down and there was food, enough food for everyone.
I had no idea when Alfie even had the time to order
those expensive looking platters for the crew.
Zoro: (clearing throat) “First and foremost we’d like to

thank you and your family for welcoming us into your
home during this difficult time.”
I just nodded to avoid being overly emotional.
Zoro: “We understand that this is a really difficult time

for you guys and we know that you are so young –
most probably too young to be carrying such a heavy
burden on your shoulders. We also understand just
how expensive black funerals can be. It is for that
Page 748 of 1871
very reason we are here – to ease the burden off you.
We’d like to reassure you that we take care of our
own and that we are here for you – every step of the
way. As God said in Psalm 147:3; “He heals the
brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”. We
therefore hope and pray that the small bit we have
brought to you today will heal your wounds.”
As surprised as I was nothing prepared me for Zoro’s

heartwarming words. Since when did he even know
Bible verses? Alfred squeezed my hand every few
minutes.
Nombulelo: (teary) “I truly appreciate all your efforts

guys, really.”
Zoro: “Which is why we have come to give you a small

token as a gesture to boost you a little in case of cash
flow problems. We know that funerals can put a big
dent in life events itself.”
As soon as he said that they each opened their fanny

packs and took out stacks of cash in R100 and R200
notes only. I tried my best not to look shocked but it
was most definitely a first for me.
Page 749 of 1871
Zoro: “This is a total of R60 000 we have brought here
for you. Given your current circumstances and what
your sister did – this money will come in very handy.”
I had no idea why he put so much emphasis on the

word “small gesture”. Who on earth gives R60 000 as
a form of condolences?! My intimidating tears lost
the battle to my eyes as they streamed down my
face. I couldn’t compose myself anymore and I hated
looking particularly weak – especially amongst a
group of people. Being soft has never helped anyone
in fact it just makes things ten times worse.
Nombulelo: (teary) “I honestly have no words, guys. I

am just in pure disbelief. Thank you so much.”
Kea: “We meant it when we said that we are family.”
In my mind something dipped really quickly and I

thought “that’s probably what you guys said to
Puseletso years ago as well” but anyway. I didn’t
dwell on that. They were good people who had come
to do something really nice for me. We had ourselves
a nice meal and the girls came to sit with me. It felt
Page 750 of 1871
good to have different company other than that of
Alfred for a change.
Kea: “How are you, babe?”
Nombulelo: “If I’m being honest, I am getting there.

Had it truly not been for Alfie, I doubt I’d be sitting in
front of you guys like this right now. And I had no idea
you guys popped out so much cash whenever
someone dies. I should have funerals more regularly.”
They both laughed.
Priscilla: “Girl, that’s just how we do things. We care

for one another and we know just how expensive
black funerals are. On a serious note now, I don’t
know what you did to Mastermind, but whatever it is
– keep doing it, babe. He literally told us straight that
if we don’t come to your house it won’t end well for
us.”
Nombulelo: (surprised) “He said that?”
Kea: “Oh, yes and way more. He said that and I quote
‘My future wife cannot suffer alone yet be a part of
Page 751 of 1871
this crew. You owe her your presence and a lot more
support’.”
Priscilla: “He even said that the mother of his children

shouldn’t suffer and plan a funeral alone while we
girls are here.”
Kea: “The way he said it really made his face glow

entirely.”
Priscilla: “I concur. Which brings me to my next

question, Are you pregnant?”
Her question threw me off guard in the sense that it

was just absolutely ridiculous – at least I thought it
was.
Nombulello: (laughing) “You have one wild

imagination. Me? Pregnant? Why on earth would I
throw my future away like that?”
Kea: “Well, because Mastermind doesn’t miss. His

sperms really aim for the eggs and if for any other
reason you two aren’t using condoms or you’re not
preventing – you’d better start now.”
Page 752 of 1871
As far as I was concerned Alfie only had two kids with
Puse’s sister. She made it seem like he had more or
perhaps it was just my imagination. Either way, she
was another demon I was yet to face. It didn’t cross
my mind thought – not one bit what he and I had
done. My life was about to change forever. Our
conversation was interrupted by Diesel.
Diesel: “Sorry to disturb you guys, but we have to go.

Puse’s family is expecting us.”
Priscilla: “Will you be okay?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Of course. Thank you so

much for coming. It really means the world to me.”
Kea: “We’ll be back tomorrow to assist with the

peeling and stuff.”
Nombulelo: “Alfie already hired a catering company.”
Priscilla: “We’ll still be here to assist either way. You

can’t go through all this alone. Lord knows what the
day before the funeral feels like.”
Page 753 of 1871
We said our goodbyes and I went to hide the money
in my bedroom. I ensured that I locked my room
properly that time and hid it where only I would be
able to find it. I was very surprised to find Alfred still
in the house when I left my bedroom.
Nombulelo: (frowning) “And then?” Aren’t you going

to Puse’s house?”
Alfred: “And leave you alone? No, why on earth

would I do that?”
Nombulelo: “But surely as the father of Pulane’s

children, you are expected to make an appearance,
right?”
Alfred: “You’re my priority now. My kids are still alive

and well.”
There was clearly no love lost between Alfred and

Pulane.
Alfred: “Are you ready? We need to pick out caskets

and bathe your mom and sister.”
Page 754 of 1871
He always referred to them as if they were still alive
and not as corpes or bodies. I wasn’t ready for that,
though I had to do it. I didn’t want Millicent to go
through all that trauma at her age. She was going to a
new grade and she had enough problems as it was
already – her skin colour for starters. It was painful
for her having to explain to people why she looked
the way she did yet she was speaking fluent Sesotho.
At least my lightness was justified. I had an Afro and
people thought my dead beat father was extremely
light. With Millicent, though it was just a completely
different story. One could tell she was not 100% black
and she struggled with that throughout her entire life.
Nombulelo: “Okay, but surely we’re supposed to go
with Masabatha.”
Alfred: (nodding) “Yes, you can go call her. I’ll be in

the car.”
I agreed and did as told. She was already expecting

me even.
Masabatha: “Where’s Millicent?”
Page 755 of 1871

Nombulelo: “She is in her room. I doubt she will want
to go with.”
Masabatha: “She has to go – besides she really wants

to go.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t mean any disrespect, Mme (ma),

but surely it will all be too traumatic and
overwhelming for her.”
Masabatha: “One day you’ll learn that you cannot

make decisions for everyone all the time. She wants
to go. You’ll see.”
I thought she was just saying it but she reiterated that

and I just knew as we took further steps that she
probably saw it in a vision or something. She never
really told me what her exact gift was. Indeed upon
leaving the house there she was – already inside the
car waiting for us. I was already so anxious on her
behalf. She just had such a soft spot in my heart.
Nombulelo: “Are you sure you want to go with?”
Page 756 of 1871

Millicent: (nodding) “Yes. I have to get acquainted
with the idea of death and dying sooner rather than
later, right?”
She was so brave though she was trying to crack a

joke, it just made me feel like crying. I nodded and
went to sit in my seat right next to Alfie in the front.
Masabatha got into the back next to Millicent and off
we went to the mortuary. Along the way, Masabatha
asked Alfie to stop the car.
Masabatha: “Alfred, ngwanaka (my son), do you mind

if we stop at the mall real quickly? I promise I won’t
take too long.”
Alfred: “It’s perfectly fine, Ma. Take as much time as

you need. They’ll wait for us.”
She nodded in agreement and I was really under the

impression that she wanted to get something to drink
for the road, but I became a bit puzzled when she
asked Millicent and I to accompany her. We got out
of the car and Alfie stopped me as Millicent and
Masabatha were walking ahead.
Page 757 of 1871

Alfred: “Here, take my card and be sure to purchase
anything you need. Don’t be stingy now – whatever
you have to buy, please buy it.”
He seemed so sure of what was going on or perhaps I

was just ignorant. I thanked him and caught up with
Masabatha and Millicent. She started off in
Ackermans. We headed straight to the baby section.
Masabatha: “Which outfit do you think would be nice

for a baby girl?”
Both Millicent and I were clueless and confused but

she asked us to look really hard and think of an outfit
that we would really like for a baby girl. I don’t know
but we spotted one very cute baby outfit.
Masabatha: “Hmm, this is a real cute one. Now, pick

a nice blanket that can keep a baby girl warm along
with some shoes and a headband.”
We chose one after a long while but she was patient

with us. I offered to pay and she didn’t decline. From
there we went to a boutique just next door. I thought
Page 758 of 1871

we were shopping for funeral clothes, but she really
stunned us both.
Masabatha: “Now, I want you two to take your time

and not rush. One will choose a nice dress while the
other chooses a nice pair of shoes. It really doesn’t
matter how much you spend but by the time I find
you outside I want you two to walk out here with an
outfit for your mother. She is having her very last
send off tomorrow and I want you to make her look
as good as she always did here on earth. Are we
together?”
We just nodded and she left us standing there. My

heart felt like it was slowly pulling strings on either
side. It was finally happening. I had to choose an
outfit for my mother – the very last outfit. It was
rather weird considering the fact that the last time I
had to deal with outfits for her she had stolen my
clothes and money. Millicent and I looked at one
another and just fell into it. We took our time walking
around looking for the perfect dress and shoes. I just
walked by the first few outfits – nothing intrigued me
until my eyes just fell on a beautiful dress, much
similar to one I had seen her in in pictures that she
Page 759 of 1871
took years before. It was as if she was right there with
me. I smiled and so did my heart at that moment.
“This is the one” I thought to myself. I showed
Millicent and she became quite teary-eyed as she saw
it. People weren’t really buried in shoes, but
Masabatha made us get shoes for my mother. I had
no idea why, I mean it wasn’t as if she was going to
walk all the way to heaven in a pair of brand new
heels. We bought the outfit and paid for it. Indeed,
Masabatha was waiting for us just outside patiently.
Masabatha: (smiling) “Oh, there you are. I hope you

two are done and satisfied.”
We just nodded and we continued walking. She had

another big blanket in her hands. When we
approached the car, Alfie rushed towards us to give
Masabatha a helping hand. He always believed that
elders weren’t meant to carry things while the
youngsters were present. We got into the car and
drove ahead. When we reached the Funeral parlour, I
could tell that Millicent was not doing too good so I
held her hand and reassured her that I was going to
be with her every step of the way. We walked in with
Masabatha and it just felt so unusually cold in that
Page 760 of 1871
place. She stood on the opposite side and they first
wheeled out Rachel. My goodness I nearly dropped
onto that floor. She looked even tinier than the last
time I had seen her. When there is no more blood
circulation and the embalming process is complete, a
person’s body looks like nothing but an empty shell. I
saw Millicent’s tears drop but I let her be. Masabatha
started praying for baby Rachel and once she was
done they wheeled out our mother. Oh, that just
brought tears to my eyes. She looked really tiny and
her beauty had faded. Years of alcohol and
recklessness had come to that. Her illnesses and
cancer were the final straw. It just ate away at her
beauty. Masabatha prayed for her as well and told
them both that we were there to give them one last
proper bath and that they shouldn’t bother us on
earth. Their journey was over so it was time for them
to play their part in the after life. I was not as terrified
as Millicent to touch a corpse, but I did it. I bathed
baby Rachel instead and it just broke me that a life
that tiny had barely started yet she was gone in an
instant. We dressed her up in her beautiful tutu outfit
we picked out and her baby shoes with pink
stockings. She looked like such a tiny diva. My
mother’s broken skin was no longer visible as that
Page 761 of 1871
new dress looked so good on her. I could see the
Gugu that I knew on that table.
Millicent: “If I may ask, Mme (ma), why are we putting

shoes on her?”
Chapter 42
Ecclesiastes 3:1-17 – “For everything there is a season,
and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to
be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time
to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time
to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn,
and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and
a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace,
and a time to refrain from embracing.”
Masabatha was there for us every step of the way.

Not once did she judge me for my choices nor for
being with Alfie. She was just the mother I never had
and reminded me so much of my loving
grandmother. She took us to heart so much as if we
were her own children. We felt whole when we
walked out of there. I felt she did so much for us
without even needing to and I honestly wanted to do
something really nice for her after the funeral rather,
Page 762 of 1871
just as a big thank you. I wasn’t much of a
sentimental person but I valued people who valued
me. Once we walked out of there, we didn’t even
have Nairobi on our minds. She had made it
completely clear that she wasn’t on the Makeba side
of life so we let her be. One thing was for sure on my
side; forgiveness didn’t come easily. Before we got
into the car she gently held me hand and pulled me
back.
Masabatha: “Milli, do you mind giving Nombulelo and

I a minute to speak?”
Millicent: “Sure, I’ll be in the car.”
She went to sit in the car while Alfie took a smoke just
outside the car while waiting for us.
Masabatha: “Nombulelo, what I am about to say is

coming from a place of love. Don’t ever think I am
judging you, my baby.”
I started trembling a bit because she sounded so

serious.
Page 763 of 1871

Masabatha: “It is nothing bad, but Alfred is going to
take you somewhere for a cleansing since you and
him have been sleeping together while you are
grieving. Per black culture you know it is not exactly
right but it is not something incurable. You need to
get cleansed to be safe, however please don’t drink
anything.”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “I don’t understand.”
Masabatha: “Don’t worry, he won’t do anything to

hurt you. It’s just that I don’t want you to drink
anything. It might harm you, health wise. Just don’t
drink anything, okay?”
I nodded in agreement though I didn’t understand

what exactly she was talking about but I knew she
wouldn’t lure me into danger. We got into the car
and she asked us to drop her at the hospital to check
up on Isaiah and Hannah. I wanted to go with but
Alfred said that we both had somewhere else to be.
Millicent stayed behind at the hospital with
Masabatha and I gave her money for an Uber back
home since I had no idea what time we’d be done
wherever it was we were going. After we dropped
Page 764 of 1871
them off, I finally got the courage to ask Alfred where
we were headed.
Nombulelo: “Where are we going?”
Alfred: “To see someone, a traditional healer. I told

you we had to get cleansed. Have you forgotten?”
Nombulelo: “No, I haven’t. It’s just that… I haven’t

done anything like that before.”
Alfred: “It’s okay, I have done it, a few times. It is just

a bathing procedure. I promise you.”
He was really calm and understanding about the

entire thing but I took it as he was just being a
supportive partner. He didn’t seem to be looking for
directions or seem like he didn’t know the place, so I
figured he must have been a regular. Once we
arrived, the house was a normal four perhaps five
roomed house with a big yard and a rondavel or hut
just outside the house. Once we were in the yard,
Alfie asked me to take off my shoes as a sign of
Page 765 of 1871
respect for the man’s “Ndumba” as they called it. It
smelled really odd in there – I wasn’t used to such
remember. He looked quite big with red and white
beads all over his thick dreadlocks. He looked about
middle-aged if not a tad bit older. He barely looked us
in the eye and from the moment we walked in he
started burping and making weird sounds.
Alfred: “Thokoza Baba (Greetings).”
The man made a weird sound again is if he were

shaking for a brief time.
Man: “Hmm, I see you have brought your better half

here today. O kae na (how are you), Nombulelo?”
I was a bit puzzled as to how he knew my name.

“Perhaps Alfred told him about me before we came” I
thought to myself.
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Ke teng Ntate, le kae (I am

well, sir, how are you)?”
Man: (nodding) “Hmm, are you sure you’re well?”
Page 766 of 1871

I was puzzled by that vague question so I frowned.
Nombulelo: “I’m not sure I follow.”
He ignored my question with a brief smile and started

putting all sorts of bones and objects inside of a little
bag. He shook them for a while and instructed each
of us to blow inside of it. I looked at Alfred before
hesitating and he nodded to ensure that it was okay
for me to do so and so I did. I trusted him after all.
He shook the bag one last time and threw the bones
right onto the mat. He kept making those weird
burps and sounds every now and then.
Man: “Yey!”
Every time the man spoke, Alfred would respond with

“Makhosi” which means thank you apparently. He
was an expert while I sat there cluelessly. I wasn’t
even sure if I believed in such.
Man: “Hmm, I see you, Nombulelo Makeba. You have

such a bright light and fighting spirit. Your
grandfather is looking upon you and only wants the
best for you. What has slipped through your mother’s
Page 767 of 1871
fingers, will most certainly land in your hands – only
when you do right and only when the time is right.
Do not lose faith for tough times do lie ahead, but
they can turn around for as long as you make the right
choices.”
I was still confused but I just listened attentively.
Man: “Where is your father?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t have one.”
Man: (shaking head) “Every one of us has two

parents. Where is your father?”
Nombulelo: “I just told you that I don’t have one.”
I was getting a little irritable when Alfred stepped in.
Alfred: “What she means, Baba is that she doesn’t

know him. She has never met him and her mother
has never told her of him.”
Man: (nodding) “That makes sense gathered from

what I see here. All those men who have wronged
Page 768 of 1871

your mother and have given her children will suffer a
slow and painful death – all except those of the
children she owes mercy. There are two of you. She
owes you two dearly.”
I had no idea what he was even talking about. From

what I recalled we went there to get cleansed but
Alfred was just so intrigued by each and every word
he was saying.
Nombulelo: “I’m sorry, are we getting a reading? I

thought we were here for a cleansing.”
The man frowned and looked at Alfred. I could always

read energy, as I always say and from what I noticed
they were communicating with their eyes. Somehow
there was a miscommunication.
Alfred: (nervously) “Baba, you know very well we

cannot do a cleansing without analysing what lies
ahead in the near future. Please, do carry on. What
do you see? What does the future have in store for
the both of us?”
Page 769 of 1871

Man: “Hmm, I don’t see what you want me to see,
however, your heart’s desire has come true in terms
of this young woman, but it won’t last forever.”
He was just too excited.
Alfred: “Will she bear me children?”
Man: “She will carry them.”
That response could have meant a lot of things, but

Alfred was overjoyed. The man then looked at me.
Man: “My child, I will prepare the bath for you but I
unfortunately cannot give you anything to drink as
you are – “
Alfred interrupted the man so quickly while I was

dying to know what he wanted to say.
Alfred: (interjecting) “Hayi (no), siyabonga (we thank

you), Baba (father). May you please proceed with the
cleansing? We still have a lot of things to finalize
before the funeral.”
Page 770 of 1871

He just looked at Alfred with a frown and then at me
and stood up. Alfred was smiling ear to ear with me.
Alfred: (smiling) “I cannot wait to start this new

chapter with you, Lelo.”
Nombulelo: “What new chapter?”
Alfred: “Oh, just you and I finally getting things in

place.”
I had no idea what he was even talking about but I

just let him be. The healer called us separately and
ordered us to different rooms outside of the yard. I
was told to remove all my clothing and take a bath in
coloured water that looked like it had different types
of things from small sticks to ash-like elements in it. I
did as instructed and was told not to dry myself after I
was done bathing. I tried my best to handle the smell
but it was so unbearable. I tried to put my clothes on
as fast as possible that I could rush out to vomit but I
was too late. By the time I put on my shirt, I vomit
right on that floor. I didn’t even get the chance to
vomit right inside of the water I had just bathed in.
Looking at that pile of vomit made me nauseated all
over again and I vomited once more. My stomach felt
Page 771 of 1871
increasingly weird and I just wanted to go home. I felt
so embarrassed for doing that in someone’s home,
but when Baba entered after knocking he didn’t look
surprised that I had just vomited.
Nombulelo: (shyly) “I’m very sorry for what just

happened. I don’t know what came over me.”
Man: “It’s okay. Are you sure you don’t know what is
wrong with you?”
I just looked at him so puzzled that I felt like he was

testing me or something. When he noticed that I
really was clueless, he just greeted me farewell.
Man: “Go well, my child. I shall see you very soon.”
I had no idea why he said that. Why would I have

gone to see him? I just nodded and walked out. I met
Alfred just outside and he could see that I just didn’t
look too good.
Alfred: “What’s wrong?”
Page 772 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I’m feeling a bit queasy. All that muthi
just made me vomit.”
I had never seen anyone so excited to hear that

someone had vomited.
Alfred: (excitedly) “You did what?!”
Nombulelo: “Why do you look so happy about that?”
Alfred: “No, it’s just one of those things I’d like to add
on our memory list, you know. You shouldn’t feel
embarrassed about that. I love you either way, babe.”
He kissed me briefly and we got into the car and off

we went. He was so happy that he was offering me
anything and everything that he could see making me
even more annoyed than I already was. I didn’t want
to do anything except sleep. I had a long week ahead
with school opening within the next few days. I
suggested that he drop me off, but he didn’t even
want to do that.
Page 773 of 1871

Alfred: “How about we stop by my house just for a
few hours? I promise I’ll take you home just in time
for the night prayer.”
Nombulelo: “Okay, but it doesn’t make any sense for

us to have sex right after we just got cleansed.
Besides, all I want to do is sleep right now.”
Alfred: “You can have all the sleep in the world. I’ll go
get us some food.”
Nombulelo: (irritably) “I told you, I don’t feel like

anything but sleep.”
Alfred: (chuckling) “I’ll be back, babes. Just sleep.”
He kissed my cheek and I went to his bedroom to

sleep while he went out. My nap was so brief – an
hour long to be exact but it felt like the longest and
best sleep I’d ever had in a few days. For the first time
since she passed, I dreamt of my mother.
Gugu: (smiling) “Nombulelo, my baby, oh, my sweet

baby.”
Page 774 of 1871

She looked so peaceful and just as beautiful as she
was before she became ill. She was dressed in the
outfit that we had just bought her that very day.
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Mama? You’re wearing – “
Gugu: (nodding) “Yes, the outfit you and Milli bought

me today along with Masabatha. I was there, you
know. I made you choose this dress for me. My
goodness, can you imagine if I was sent off in an
awfully ugly outfit? Do you like my shoes? I adore
them. It is such a pity that I cannot walk in them one
last time on earth.”
She laughed like the cheerful person she was, much

like our last decent conversation.
Gugu: “I am very proud of you, you know. The way

you have been handling everything just brings joy to
my heart. I am so sorry that I put all this burden on
you. For most of your life you have had to be the
mother when I couldn’t step up. I ruined the latter
part of your life and for that I am really sorry. I hope
you can forgive me, my baby.”
Page 775 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Ma, I forgave you a long time ago.”
Gugu: “Please do tell Alfred that I am grateful for

everything he has done for you and for me.”
Nombulelo: “I will.”
Gugu: “Just a little warning – some people may be

good to you though they aren’t meant to be in your
life forever.”
Nombulelo: “What do you mean by that?”
Gugu: “What you’re thinking of doing for Masabatha

is absolutely right. You will get more money soon.”
Nombulelo: “What do you mean, Mama?”
Gugu: “You are going into a very serious transition. I

cannot tell you what to do, but whatever you decide I
won’t hold it against you. You have suffered enough
for my choices – don’t make the same mistakes I
made.”
Page 776 of 1871

I begged her to explain more but I heard Alfred’s voice
in the furthest distance.
Alfred: “Lelo, wake up.”
I woke up and realized that he was the one waking

me up making me even more annoyed.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Why did you do that?! I was

dreaming of my mother and she was telling me
something extremely important!”
Alfred: “I’m sorry, you were talking in your sleep.”
I clicked my tongue in annoyance. He just had to

disturb a really good dream.
Alfred: (smiling) “So, what did she say?”
I frowned in annoyance and got off the bed. As I

hurried down the stairs towards the kitchen, my nose
was met with the best coffee smell ever. I didn’t even
notice that he was just behind me. I turned around
and my mood suddenly changed. I was like a mad
person.
Page 777 of 1871
Nombulelo: “Hmm, what is that smell?”
Alfred: (smiling) “Coffee.”
Nombulelo: “My goodness! It smells divine. Did you

get me some?”
Alfred: “Of course, all of that is for you.”
I rushed to the kitchen to be stunned by all the

different kinds of food that was on the table. It was as
if he was putting me to the test of some sort. The
food ranged from pizza to burgers to pasta to warm
drinks to cold drinks. It was like a real feast. I didn’t
want anything else at first just the smell of coffee
drew me and I drank it like it was my very first time
having coffee. He just smiled and had his burger
while I indulged in anything and everything that
caught my eye and that drew my stomach towards it.
If I didn’t know better, I’d have called myself a pig at
that point. I was not much of an eater but I ate quite
a lot that day. After my meal I burped and he smiled.
Alfred: “So, what did my mother in law say?”

Page 778 of 1871
Nombulelo: “She said that I should thank you for
everything you have done for me and for her as well.”
Alfred: (excitedly) “And? Is that all?”
Nombulelo: “Amongst other things.”
Alfred: “Did she say what our kids will look like?”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Are we planning children

now, Alfred?”
Alfred: “Hao (goodness), Lelo, I just mean for the

future. I cannot wait to see what our kids will look
like.”
Nombulelo: “I’d like to finish my studies first before

even thinking of children.”
Alfred: “Yes, I understand. By the way, my mom

wants to come to the funeral. I told her I’d ask you
first.”
That was not something I was ready for.
Page 779 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Your mom? Why?”
Chapter 43
Ecclesiastes 3:11 – “He has made everything beautiful
in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart,
yet so that he cannot find out what God has done
from the beginning to the end.”
We decided to do things the untraditional way and let
my mother’s coffin and Rachel’s be delivered after the
service. I actually had no idea why Masabatha chose
to do that, but I was okay with it. The service started
early – around 4pm and by 5pm, he was done with
the service. The coffins were delivered and that very
same evening just after 5pm. It was as if the mourning
process had just started. From the moment I saw the
hearse driving into the yard and I heard the people
singing a church song, I just broke down. Alfred was
right by my side, while Millicent was on my other side.
Masabatha kept it all together as she said clan praises
for my mother and Rachel. I was not even aware that
she even knew it all. She spoke to the coffins just
before they were let into the house.
Masabatha: “Gugulethu, wena le (you and) Rachel, le
seke la belaela (don’t be doubtful), it is time for you to
Page 780 of 1871

spend your last night here – in your home. After this,
when we do take you to your final resting place, do
not be weary. Take your child and go to your forever
home.”
The caskets were so beautiful; my mother’s casket
was burgundy while Rachel’s was white. The flowers
that were brought were also so beautiful. The caskets
were led to my mother’s bedroom and were to stay
there throughout the night. People were sobbing
while Millicent and I were wailing. Nairobi was
nowhere to be seen but it wasn’t even about her at
that point. After our crying session, we were the first
ones to view the bodies. I saw how peaceful my
mother looked and that appeased my heart. Rachel
looked so tiny and they both looked so pain free.
Death is painful for the ones left behind, but it also
symbolizes peace for the departed. At times it is the
only escape from a life filled with agony.
That evening, I could not even sleep. Alfred chose to
help out with the cooking of the meat with his friends
at the back of the house while Priscilla and Kea came
to help out as promised. I had no idea why, but I just
had no energy. I attributed it to the entire mourning
process. All I wanted to do was sleep. While everyone
was really pulling their weight, Nairobi pitched up out
Page 781 of 1871

of nowhere looking obviously tipsy. She avoided me at
all costs and I let her be. I didn’t want to be near her
because I knew that I’d kill her. I went to my bedroom
to take a nap which eventually took 3 full hours. It was
as if I truly needed the rest. By the time I woke up,
Alfie had come to check up on me. He was like part of
the family and Masabatha was also sleeping by then
in my mother’s room. We hadn’t even cleaned out
her room as of yet. Things were slowly coming
together. The caterers were doing most of the
preparation and even people from the
neighbourhood came to assist – even those who’d
never come to visit my mother.
The following morning, everyone was up and ready
and some were drinking and kept busy the entire
night like the crew. They were clearly used to it all. I
took a shower and I still felt particularly tired despite
sleeping so much. I didn’t understand what was
happening to me because I was a very active person. I
was so slow with getting ready for the funeral,
perhaps too slow because Masabatha came to check
up on me.
Masabatha: “My baby, are you okay?”
Page 782 of 1871

Nombulelo: (sigh) “I’m fine, Mme (ma), I just feel a bit
too tired. I don’t understand because I had more than
enough sleep.”
She just frowned and sighed.
Masabatha: “Hmm, I’ll give you a vitamin C tablet. It
will keep you going. You just need to rest. Grief does
that – apart from other changes in a women’s body
that occur during certain stages.”
She just spoke in riddles I didn’t understand so I let
her be. She gave me the pill and I took it. Millicent
was ready by the time I got out of my bedroom. She
was never earlier than me but I was the lethargic one
that morning. Even Nairobi was awake and fully
dressed with her red, puffy eyes. I could smell the
alcohol on her breath. A 13 year old prepared to give
me that kind of stress was not something I was in the
mood for. We went inside of the tent and by then,
Alfie had reserved a seat for me right at the front, and
Millicent sat next to me with Masabatha right next to
her and then Nairobi right at the edge. Diesel, Zoro,
Biggie, Priscilla and Kea all sat right behind us. They
were all draped in serious apparel as always and their
cologne and perfume filled up the entire marquee.
The draping and decoration was really something else
– Alfie had pulled out all the stops. I had no idea but
Page 783 of 1871

he even had a TV set up right next to the pastor in the
front with pictures of my mother and some of baby
Rachel playing on a slide show. It was so beautiful to
watch and it is those little things that make one
happy. The pastor touched a lot on Ecclesiastes 3:11 -
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he
has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he
cannot find out what God has done from the
beginning to the end.” That was the foundation of his
entire sermon. I truly loved every moment of it
despite me being a non-believer. I loved what was
done for my mother. She was a true believer up until
her very last breath. The funeral program was printed
in colour, I could only imagine how much that cost. I
loved the picture that was on the cover; a picture of
my mom overlooking the triplets. It didn’t feel weird
because the other two were alive, though, it just
symbolized her last few weeks on earth and how
much the triplets meant to her.
The verse Psalm 23 was printed and was the main
scripture on the program – my mother’s most
favourite verse in the Bible. After the sermon, we all
made our way to the cemetery. Alfred was in the
family car with me as well and everything went well.
One could swear that we were surrounded by good
Page 784 of 1871

neighbours. They were so quiet and respectful and
not one made any derogatory comment like they
normally would whenever she was alive. I was
extremely observant that day for some reason; I saw
three particular looking men who were standing right
across us. They just looked so dubious; and for some
reason their eyes were so fixed on us who were
seated right in the front. I thought perhaps they were
Alfie’s friends or acquaintances but I was not so sure.
My gut feeling told me that they didn’t belong there
for any other reason.
They didn’t look like part of our neighbourhood
though I even spotted Thapelo amongst the crowd.
Those three men were dressed in all black – as if they
were going to rob someone or something. One of
them was particularly dismayed by the entire funeral.
While the other two would occasionally make
conversation with one another, this very man who
was dark and had a visible scar all across his forehead
was so fixated on the coffins. When the pastor asked
us all to throw some soil into the graves, it was an
emotional turning point for most of us. When the rest
of the crowd was allowed to do so, this emotional
man was the first one to move forward. Oddly,
everyone stood still and let him continue with it as if
Page 785 of 1871

he deserved it. He looked down on the coffins for a
long while before pouring soil into it. We buried
Rachel right on top of my mother so I couldn’t
understand what his business was with her. She didn’t
have a boyfriend that I knew of, so he was most
definitely not her lover. He shed a tear and wiped it
off his face and only after he moved away from the
grave did his two friends go and pour soil and then
the rest of the crowd followed. I was quite young but
stupid was not one of the things you could use to
describe me. I leaned over to Alfred and asked him.
Nombulelo: “Do you know those guys? Who are they
and how did they know my mother?”
I was always able to differentiate between a nervous
person and a lying one. He paused for a while and
then looked away briefly.
Alfred: “No, I don’t know her. Perhaps she did know
them.”
Nombulelo: “How? They look too dodgy to be her
friends.”
Alfred: “I don’t know, babe. Don’t stress yourself
about people you don’t know. They don’t even fit our
calibre of people we know and are acquainted with.
Stay away from them.”
Page 786 of 1871

He was deliberately diverting me from those three
men and despite my focus being on them for the rest
of the funeral duration, he looked at me and focused
on me throughout up until we left. When we went
back to the house, family and close relatives being the
crew went to eat in the house, while the rest of the
people had to queue right outside. After we were
done eating, I was still hungry for some reason or
perhaps it was the nice food that was cooked, so I
went for a second helping. Thapelo didn’t come into
the house, most probably to avoid Alfred, but I knew
he wanted to talk to me, so I waited for Alfred to leave
and go buy alcohol for after tears along with the guys
before I could speak to him. Priscilla and Kea were
seated right with me in the tent and I went to speak
to him right outside as he was standing next to his
taxi.
Nombulelo: (smiling) “Hi.”
Thapelo: (smiling) “Hey. How are you doing?”
Nombulelo: “I’m getting there, how are you?”
Thapelo: “I’m okay, thanks. I’ve passed by here a few
times this week while you weren’t around.”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Why would you do that?”
Thapelo: “I don’t like drama, you surely should know
that by now.”
Page 787 of 1871

Thapelo: “You know exactly what I mean. You’re with
Mastermind now and I respect that hence I never
came to the house. He was in any case always
around.”
My heart was a bit torn. He was a good guy and such
a good friend though I could tell that he was hoping
for a lot more from me.
Nombulelo: “It’s not like that – “
Thapelo: (interrupting) “No need to explain yourself. I
totally understand and I am perfectly fine with it.”
I nodded and when I tried to catch up with him
regarding life itself, he cut me short.
Thapelo: “I don’t mean to be rude but it’s best you go
back to your friends. If Mastermind sees you here
with me, he won’t like it very much, more especially
after what has happened between you two.”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “After what has happened?
What are you talking about?”
Thapelo: “Nothing. Please go.”
I was so confused and when I looked around I saw
Alfred parking his car just a few metres away from
Thapelo’s taxi. I moved away immediately hoping that
he didn’t see me at all. Michelle left along with her
parents straight after the funeral. She didn’t mind
Page 788 of 1871

being with me and around Alfred but I suppose that
the neighbours had already told her parents that I was
a gangster’s girlfriend and that’s how we could afford
the funeral. I was okay with her respecting her
parents and we did speak on the phone every now
and again. When I sat down, Kea and Priscilla looked
at me funny.
Kea: “Are you serious right now? Girl, haven’t you
learnt anything we have taught you for the past few
weeks?”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “What are you on about?”
Kea: “Girl, we told you to stay away from other men
while you are dating one of these guys. You can’t have
male friends whatsoever.”
Nombulelo: “But I have known Thapelo way before I
got to know Alfred.”
Priscilla: “That’s beside the point. Stay away from him
– more especially knowing your current situation. He
will be completely obsessed with you now.”
Nombulelo: (confused) “What are you on about?”
Kea: “Do you seriously not know?”
Nombulelo: “Know what?”
Kea: “Nothing. Forget we even said anything – just be
careful.”
Page 789 of 1871

She spoke softly as the guys were approaching us. I
noticed Alfred’s face had changed – hardened to be
precise. He wasn’t smiling any more but wasn’t
exactly angry. I just couldn’t tell. I didn’t bother asking
him if he was okay. I looked towards Thapelo’s
direction and noticed he got into his taxi and drove
off. He must have said something to him. The alcohol
was flowing for all of them – including Alfred while I
was happily having everything non-alcoholic. I was
actually okay with having juice and soda water that
day. I indulged in soda water the entire day. I was
having my own conversations with Priscilla and Kea
while Alfred was just being a bit cold. I only noticed
when Zoro would occasionally make couples jokes
and he would not entertain or be all over me like he
was always. I got irritated by his behaviour and felt
that I wouldn’t beg him for attention. Sure, he did a
lot for me but if he thought that I needed to pay for
that – he had another thing coming. My mood
changed instantly and I started keeping quiet. While
the drinking was continuing, I saw the three men I
saw at the graveyard again. Sure, most people were
listening to music and having their drinks but they
came to sit a lot closer to us in the tent. I could sense
them looking at me every now and again. Alfred said
Page 790 of 1871

that he didn’t know them, but I was not so sure by
then. Perhaps I was a target or something. I couldn’t
even ask him because he was just being so cold
towards me.
Kea: “Are you okay?”
Nombulelo: “I’m fine, I am just a little tired. I think I
need a nap.”
Priscilla: “Okay, go take one. We’ll be okay and most
probably still here when you wake up.”
It was 3pm and I wasn’t so sure that I’d even want to
wake up and be with them afterwards. I got up and
headed straight to my bedroom and didn’t even
notice Alfred following me. Only then did he decide to
pay some attention to me. I closed the door right
behind me and it nearly hit him in the face.
Alfred: (angrily) “What the fuck was that?”
Nombulelo: “What the fuck was what?”
Alfred: “Why did you try and bang the door in my
face?”
Nombulelo: “Did I try to do that?”
Alfred: “Lelo, why are you fucking with me now? First
you fuck with my feelings and now this.”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “How am I fucking with your
feelings?”
Alfred: “You really don’t know?”
Page 791 of 1871

Nombulelo: “If I knew do you think I’d be asking?”
Alfred: (frustrated) “Firstly you go and talk to that guy
when I instructed you not to speak to that guy ever
again you still went ahead and did that despite
everything I told you he has done to me. Now you
decide to act like you don’t know what you did.”
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Excuse me?! So, now that you
have done so much for me of which I appreciate, you
feel the need to control me?! Alfred, how dare you
think you can choose who I can and cannot talk to?
Who do you think you are?! If you are deliberately
doing all of these things for me just so that you can
control me and what I must do then it’s best we end
this thing right here – right now!”
I was beyond livid and more than prepared to leave
him at that point. He was rather shocked to say the
least and didn’t expect my reaction. If anything, he
just thought that I’d say sorry for whatever he
assumed I did wrong.
Alfred: “Babe, look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset
you like that. It’s just that, you don’t get it. Thapelo is
not who you think he is.”
Nombulelo: “That’s just what he said about you but
do you see me crucifying him for it and the rest of the
people who say the same thing about you?! I don’t
Page 792 of 1871

know what your problem is, Alfred, I really don’t but I
am not going to be subjected to any kind of control or
abuse, especially not at my age.”
Alfred: (softly) “Lelo, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like
that. Please, do forgive me. I just don’t want to lose
you to some idiot, that’s all.”
Nombulelo: “Well, keep behaving like an asshole and
you will lose me.”
Alfred: (sigh) “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
As annoyed as I was he still couldn’t charm his way
out of that one.
Nombulelo: “Please leave, I’d like to take a nap. And
you smell of cigarettes, it’s making me nauseous.”
Alfred: (smiling) “Is there anything I can get you for
that?”
Nombulelo: “It’s not an illness, I’ll be fine.”
I got into the bed to avoid him prolonging the
conversation and I dozed off immediately after he
walked out. I was just annoyed by him to be honest.
To make matters worse, I received a text from Thapelo
just before sleeping. “Alfred is not who he claims to
be. Be careful of him.” That was the second time he
warned me of him. It was Thapelo against Alfred.
Who on earth was I even supposed to believe? I mean
no one can actually compete with pillow talk, you
Page 793 of 1871

know. They say that if someone repeats a warning
then you need to take heed thereof. I was soon to
learn the hard way that I should have listened the very
first time. I must have woken up around 6pm and
indeed the crowd was still busy outside in the tent.
The music got louder and people were still enjoying
themselves. As always a black funeral had turned into
a happy event afterwards. I found Alfred and the crew
in the tent sitting in the very same position I had left
them in; except this time Zoro had a new girl next to
him and they all seemed rather intoxicated. I wanted
to turn back the moment I could smell cigarettes but
Alfred called out to me just as I was about to go back
to the house.
Alfred: “Baby! Etla mo (come here)!”
I walked towards them reluctantly and I was puzzled
by the three guys who were still there and they
looked at me with a long gaze as I was walking
towards Alfred. He was all smiles and smelled of all
sorts of booze, but he was no longer the sour man
from earlier on.
Alfred: “Are you okay? How are you feeling now?”
Nombulelo: “Much better and well rested.”
I frowned as the cigarette smoke was just too much
for me.
Page 794 of 1871

Alfred: “Keng (what is it)?”
Nombulelo: “Nothing. It’s just… the cigarette smell.
It’s horrible.”
I said that out loud and the girls looked at each and
then at me and frowned while the rest of the guys
smiled. It was as if it was a joyous moment.
Zoro: “Don’t worry, Mama Alfie. We’ll stop smoking.
We don’t want to harm you guys.”
I just frowned at him while Alfred put me right on his
lap. I thought I’d get enough rest and prepare for
school throughout the weekend but they had other
plans.
Zoro: “So, I hope you’re well rested enough by
tomorrow.”
Nombulelo: “What’s happening tomorrow?”
Diesel: “Don’t tell us you forgot. It’s Puse’s funeral.”
I had completely forgotten about that one.
Nombulelo: “Oh, it slipped my mind.”
Alfred: “But Zo, she can’t exactly go given her
condition.”
Zoro: “It’s fine, Baba cleansed her. Nothing will
happen to her.”
Nombulelo: “Excuse me, what condition are you
talking about?”
Page 795 of 1871

They did again; they looked at one another and then
at me.
Zoro: “I just mean that you just buried someone today
and you will be going to a funeral the next day. Usually
it signifies bad luck but as I said Baba cleansed you
and we all need to be there. I specifically moved the
funeral to tomorrow because we had to be here to
support you.”
It truly felt like I was ambushed. So that’s how they
did things; I had to return the favour since they
washed my back and I needed to wash theirs. I don’t
know, but it felt like they were using all the things they
had done for me to ensure that I do the same for
them. It just didn’t feel nice at that point.
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Cool, I’ll be there.”
Chapter 44
Romans 14:8 – “For if we live, we live to the Lord, and
if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live
or whether we die, we are the Lord's.”
I was rather unsettled by that toast Zoro made but I

was even more unsettled by the fact that I had to
meet Pulane and her family as Alfie’s new girlfriend. I
was so nervous that I felt quite nauseated. I was not a
person who ate a lot of junk yet the nausea was
Page 796 of 1871

dealing with me a lot throughout those few days.
After the toasting and jokes they made, we went to
the car. Yes, they had purchased a brand new
Hyundai H1. I guess they had a thing for group
traveling. We drove to the funeral in style and as
always, they were already drinking on the way. It was
a little tiring to see people so dependent on alcohol
for a good time. The girls didn’t really drink much in
the mornings. Puse’s house was surprisingly not very
far from Zoro’s house. But then again, what did I
expect? They were supposed childhood lovers. The
marquee that was set up right outside her house was
twice the size I had for my mother. I suppose Zoro
really wanted to go all out. People were lining up
right outside the house, but it didn’t seem like we
were going to have the service held there. It was
quite early in the morning and it seemed as if the
family was still in the house.
Zoro: “Let’s go, guys. It’s show time.”
He put on his sunglasses much like the rest of us had

to and we followed him. He was the only one without
a partner that morning for obvious reasons. People
seemed to know the crew and were glaring at us from
Page 797 of 1871

the moment we walked out of the car. I hated
attention but it didn’t take anything from me so I
walked along with them while Alfie was right by my
side. Zoro was walking right in the front with the rest
of us right behind him. Oddly, I never used to notice
before but he would always walk before every one of
us while Alfie and I would be right behind him. We’d
always be followed by Priscilla and Diesel while Biggie
and Kea would always be right behind the rest of us. I
never knew why but I wanted to find out and made a
mental note to ask Priscilla about it. I needed to keep
her close to me, however I wasn’t too sure about
Kea. She seemed to be one to spill the beans more
than Priscilla herself. While Zoro was walking right
before us, the entire crowd stood still and analysed us
from head to toe. No wonder they always made it a
point to be show stoppers and were dressed in the
best clothes at all times. I could see his Red bottoms
as he was walking while his Dior suit was grabbing
everyone’s attention. He was walking like the man of
the house. I could feel my anxiety become worse
when we were walking towards the house. I had no
idea why we needed to go in in the very first place.
Thankfully, we didn’t go all the way into the house
and so we stood right in the yard, just outside of the
Page 798 of 1871

kitchen and waited. I had no idea why but we
waited. We saw the pall bearers walking out as they
were carrying the coffin right out of the house.
People started singing and some started crying from
outside, while we just stood there – watching. After
the pall bearers, followed an elder looking woman
dressed in all black with a blanket around her
shoulders, being consoled by someone quite young,
curvy and busty. I couldn’t see her clearly because
she was wearing oversized sunglasses but when she
glared at Alfie and then at me through those
sunglasses, I just knew that it was Pulane. She looked
even better in real life. I swallowed hard; I was very
intimidated by her looks. She took her time to walk
past us and deliberately swayed herself a bit as she
walked past us. The nerve. They walked past us and
the rest of the family followed. One man who looked
like Puse as well walked out holding two little boys
alongside each of his side. When he noticed Zoro and
then the rest of us, he could not hide annoyance. The
boys ran towards Alfie to give him a hug. They were
obviously his two sons. He also had two other older
boys right behind him who looked exactly like Zoro.
They hugged him briefly before going back to their
uncle.
Page 799 of 1871

Alfred: “How are you boys? See you later, okay?”
I gathered that the man was Puse’s scorned brother.

He was obviously still angry at them taking bread from
his mouth right after killing his sister. He grabbed the
boys from Alfie’s hands and walked away without
greeting us. Zoro was smirking and having fun while
at it. I still had no idea why we didn’t just wait in the
car as they on their way to church for the service. We
went straight to the car and got in. We were led by
the very same funeral parlour that hosted my
mother’s funeral. We made it to the church and Zoro
couldn’t wait for all of us to get out. We walked in as
if we were the main characters of some movie. We
sat right in the front just behind the family. It felt so
awkward for me, I just couldn’t believe Zoro’s nerve.
Pulane walked in and sat right before Alfie and I; how
convenient? I could feel my heart racing but I
maintained my composure. While people were
walking in she turned around and smiled at him. She
held his hand and brushed it briefly.
Pulane: (smiling) “How are you, boo?”
Page 800 of 1871

He removed her hand from hers in annoyance and
held mine instead.
Alfred: “I should be asking you that.”
He kissed the back of my hand while looking at her. I

saw the smirk fade away from her face and she
looked forward. He just kept kissing my hand and
brushing my shoulder every few minutes. I wasn’t too
sure if he was doing it because he wanted to or
because he wanted to prove a point to her. She
would glance at me sideways thinking I didn’t see her
through those glasses, but energy doesn’t lie. She
was more focused on what Alfie did with me than on
her grieving mother and children who were right next
to her. The brother was just focused and didn’t look
towards our directions – not even once. The pastor
came out and walked towards the stage. They were
Catholics so it seemed. The congregation started
singing Ave Maria. I asked myself why the church was
so full; was it because all those people knew Puse and
wanted to pay their final respects or was it because
she was a member of an elite gang and they had
come for the food and booze? I was soon to find
out.
Page 801 of 1871

The pastor greeted and started the proceedings
before the program was followed. Zoro passed each
one of us a program and she looked really beautiful
on the front page of that program. It must have been
an old picture but she looked like a nice girl. Death
can make even a monster seem like he or she was a
calm person. When I saw her date of birth I nearly
dropped in my seat. She was just 20 but acted like
she was so old and wise beyond her years. Family
members started flocking and speaking. It just took
so long and felt endless. About 5 family members
spoke of her. Most of them said that she was such a
bubbly person and very feisty too. They forgot to
mention what a two faced troublesome bitch she was
who just never had peace. After the family members
spoke, Zoro was asked to come to the stage. He
proudly stood up and took of his shades before
stepping onto the podium. The Zoro I knew and the
one who was speaking up there were two completely
different people. If he was a movie star, he would
have won an Oscar for that performance.
Zoro: “I greet you all in the name of our wonderful

Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.”
Page 802 of 1871

Congregation: “Amen.”
Zoro: “Most of you know who I am but for those who

don’t, I am Puseletso’s loving husband and I am the
father of our sons.”
He called himself her husband, but I was under the

intention that they were just engaged. The brother
was seething with rage and it must have hurt having
to keep it all hidden from everyone else at that point.
The entire row in front of us was full of her relatives
and I could sense their irritability towards Zoro when
he got on stage.
Zoro: “I believe that in life, everything has a time and
place and so much like that, God has intended that
each one of us have a life span up to a certain number
of years. My Puse passed on way too soon, but one
thing I will always hold dear to me is our wonderful
boys. She has given me the best gift anyone can ever
think of. We were meant to be from the moment I
met her when I was just 7 years old in Grade 1. I
knew when I saw that feisty, dimpled girl that she
would one day become my wife. I stand here before
you all a broken man, but I am staying strong for my
Page 803 of 1871

two boys. Psalm 23:4 says; “Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear
no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff,
they comfort me”. I truly believe that God has big
plans for me and that Puse will forever remain in my
heart. Matthew 10:28 says; “And do not fear those
who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear
him who can destroy both soul and body in hell”. A
lot of speculation lies around Puse’s untimely death;
many of you do say and believe that she was
murdered of which I believe as well. I can assure you
the Makgatho family that I will get the person who did
this to my wife.”
I could hear her sons burst into tears. My heart broke

knowing that the very same person who stood before
them was the person who took away their mother.
Zoro: Luke 23:43 says; “And he said to him, “Truly, I

say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise”.
Puseletso, my darling. I know that my heart is broken
now that you have left me all alone to face this thing
called life alone, but I know that we will meet again. I
love you – forever and always.”
Page 804 of 1871

He got off the stage and didn’t even shed one tear.
His boys burst into even louder tears and ran towards
him. They sobbed in his arms and he made space for
them to sit next to us. Of course Puse’s family didn’t
like it but what could they say? I was still in disbelief
that Zoro could be such a chameleon. If he could put
up such a big act right before his boys, what else was
he capable of? The service ended and it was time for
us to go to the graveyard. The boys wanted to go with
us, but Pulane begged them to leave with her and her
family.
Zoro: (annoyed) “Pulane, kgante dintshang (what’s

happening)? Why are you acting like these are not
my flesh and blood? Let them be. They can go
anywhere with me.”
He grabbed the boys and got into the car with them.
To my surprise, Alfie’s sons looked at me and smiled.
From there, they both hugged me so tightly, obviously
annoying Pulane even further.
Alfred: (smiling) “Just look, they love their stepmother

already.”
Page 805 of 1871

Pulane: (angrily) “You call this child a mother?”
Alfred: “Don’t fuck with me, Pulane. I don’t care if

we’re outside the church. I can fuck you up right
here, right now. You’ll have very bad memories of
your sister’s funeral.”
His tone changed and his face hardened instantly. I

could tell that she was afraid of him to a certain
extent. I felt it was truly unnecessary for him to
behave that way. That was then because I didn’t
know what an absolutely horrible person she was.
Pulane: (firmly) “Let’s go boys, you can see your father

later.”
They shook their heads and refused. They clung onto

me which was just so weird. I wasn’t a baby magnet
to be honest.
Alfred: “See? We’ll go with them. See you at the

graveyard.”
He pulled the boys towards the car’s direction and I

could sense how upset Pulane was about the entire
Page 806 of 1871

thing. I got into the back seat with Alfred and the
boys sat right next to me putting me in the middle.
They put their heads on my arms, which really
surprised me. Alfred was just excited to see them
reacting that way towards me.
Alfred: (smiling) “Boys, this is Nombulelo, your

stepmother.”
They were so nice to me. The eldest one’s name was

Thato while the youngest one was named Thuto.
They were his homemade twins apparently since they
were just one year apart. I was fine with them being
so clingy towards me, they were just children after all.
I was more worried about Pulane’s reaction after the
entire thing. We arrived at the graveyard and got
out. I looked like the rich new girlfriend with my
boyfriend’s sons alongside of me. We too had a
section of our own in the tent and despite it all, the
boys didn’t want to go back to their mother. Zoro’s
boys too didn’t want to go and sit with Pulane and the
rest. It was really painful to see her mother wail like
that. Pulane started crying and when no one gave her
much attention, she flung off her chair and fell onto
the ground. She probably thought that Alfie was
Page 807 of 1871

going to rush towards her, but he tightened his grip
around my hand instead and kissed it often. When
she noticed that those around her were not the ones
she was looking for, she turned and looked at us and
became rapidly quiet. We proceeded to the house
straight afterwards and even had our very own
private table stationed for us to dish up. From there,
we went to sit around our very own table. It was as if
we were the VVIPs at a funeral. Just imagine that.
We ate our food and just when I thought that it was
about to get weirder, I got the shock of my life. A
brewery truck pulled up and parked just outside of
the marquee. Zoro stood up and went to the Dj. Yes,
we had a DJ present. He came to sit back down
afterwards.
DJ: “Attention everyone. I have just been informed

that there are beverages of all kinds for each and
every one of you just outside. Feel free to go and
place your orders.”
I heard the sudden excitement from people and they

rushed towards the truck. I was in disbelief. He sat
down proudly and one of the people who were in the
truck ready to give out alcohol came out with a big,
Page 808 of 1871

round cooler bag and placed it right before us. Zoro
thanked the person as she went back to the truck to
assist the rest of the people. Zoro was in charge of
everything. The children were sorted with snacks
while adults were having alcohol of all kinds. Our
cooler bag had the usual drinks for them while I
indulged in soda water. My new addiction was not
alarming me at that time. The drinks were flowing
and the conversations were smooth. The DJ added
the final nail in the coffin and started playing house
music instead of church music. By then I could swear
that there was really nothing Puse’s family could do
but just accept defeat. Halfway into the after tears,
we could hear how every now and again people
would toast to Puse. They were dancing without any
worry and said that that was how she too lived her
life. Alfie’s boys could not get enough of me and I
realized just how powerful money was when even
Puseletso’s angry brother went to the truck every
now and again to get something to drink for himself
and his friends. If he was really that scorned why did
he feel the need to drink alcohol bought by her
sister’s killer? While we were enjoying ourselves,
Alfred and the guys decided to go out of the marquee
to smoke since I just couldn’t stomach the smell for
Page 809 of 1871

some reason. That was the perfect opportunity for
Pulane to come to us. She had obviously been
waiting for that moment. She walked towards Kea
first and had her backside towards me. It was as if she
deliberately wanted me to see her big bums.
Pulane: (smiling) “Hey, Kea, babe! Long time no see.

So we meet only at funerals now? Why are you such
a stranger?”
Kea being Kea greeted her nicely with a very wide

smile as well. When she greeted Priscilla she was as
hostile as I expected. She was most definitely in my
corner that one. She finally turned around towards
me. She analyzed me for a brief few seconds before
speaking to me. She looked at me with such disgust
but at the same time it was as if she was rather
impressed and even intimidated.
Pulane: “Hmm, so, you must be Nombulelo – the

Nombulelo that the entire town is talking about.”
I was not about to give her any satisfaction over my

emotions.
Page 810 of 1871

Nombulelo: (smiling) “Hmm, I wonder what they say.
Good things or really, really bad ones?”
Pulane: (chuckling) “Well, that’s up to you to decide.

One thing is for sure, though, they weren’t wrong
when they said that Mastermind downgraded. I
mean, he has always been an ass man
now, what on earth is he grabbing onto during a Blow
Job? You do know that he loves blow jobs, don’t
you? Judging by your farm girl look, you’re probably
still a virgin.”
She clearly wanted to get to me and Kea and Priscilla

were dying to hear my come back.
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “For someone as old as you

are, you really are bitter. I mean, you don’t even
come up in any of our conversations. If memory
serves me right, I was only told about you just
yesterday. I wouldn’t exactly call myself a down
grade, I mean you really need to get a better line. I
might have a small to no ass, but him choosing me
over and over again should show you that you are
nothing but old news, right? Why is he here with me
and not with you?”
Page 811 of 1871

Priscilla and Kea smiled and chuckled. That obviously
annoyed her. She came closer to me and I felt
instantly nauseated. I couldn’t stand the smell of her
perfume. My facial expressions changed
inadvertently.
Pulane: (annoyed) “You are really full of yourself,

aren’t you? You are nothing but a little child and just
because you are part of their crew it doesn’t mean
that you are loved.”
Nombulelo: “Well, are you still sad that you never

joined them? Wow, pick a new battle, baby girl. I am
just a child after all.”
She got closer and I just couldn’t handle it any more.
Pulane: (angrily) “No one takes Alfred away from me.

All those who have tried didn’t last.”
Nombulelo: “Okay then. Please, get away from me, I

cannot stand the smell of your perfume.”
Page 812 of 1871

Pulane: “Oh, I see. You’re not used to class, is that it?
This is A-grade perfume, baby girl. R1500 per bottle.
Something you clearly cannot afford judging by that
hair.”
I couldn’t handle it anymore, I vomited right there and

some ended up on her shoes. Kea and Priscilla found
it a bit funny. It was as if they knew just why I was
vomiting. Pulane on the other hand was so angry at
me and started shouting.
Pulane: (shouting) “What the fuck?! Do you know

how much these cost, you bitch?! These are Jimmy
Choo’s!”
I was still trying to wipe away some of the vomit left

on my lips when she grabbed me by my hair. No one
should touch a lady’s hair and by the way she grabbed
me, she was obviously a slapper, while I on the other
hand was a puncher. She pushed me and I nearly
missed a step but I quickly regained my balance and
launched at her. I punched her twice on one cheek
and when she fell onto someone else’s cooler bag I
grabbed her throat. I was taller than her so I had
more power and was able to pin her down. People
Page 813 of 1871

were screaming and I didn’t see when Alfred and the
guys rushed into the tent. I removed one of my hands
from her throat and punched her three more times
while she was cursing at me but I didn’t care. I felt her
knee hit my stomach and I fell back for a brief
moment. She caught her breath and started
coughing. I was about to go back for her when Alfred
grabbed her and pulled her right up from the floor
and slapped her quite a few times. He was a lot
gentler than Zoro when he beat Puse up. Alfred was
fuming; I was under the impression that he was angry
because she had the audacity to lay a hand on me.
Diesel: “Hey, are you okay? Does it hurt?”
I was confused as to why they were all so worried

about me.
Nombulelo: “Yes, I’m okay. There is no need to fuss.

She is the one you must all worry about.”
I pointed at Pulane while Alfred was still beating her

up, but the guys were relaxed about it.
Page 814 of 1871

Biggie: “Oh, let him be. She deserves it. No one
touches the mothers of our children and gets away
unscathed.”
I was no mother but it still didn’t click in my mind at

that point. Alfred finally stopped when he heard
Pulane’s brother shout at him.
Pulane’s brother: (shouting) “Let her go!”
Alfred: (angrily) “What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Did you honestly think that I’d let you do that to her?!
To the woman I love?!”
Pulane: (crying) “She started it!”
Alfred: “Don’t fuck with me, Pulane! Nombulelo

doesn’t start fights and even if she did who do you
think you are kicking her like that?! She is more
important to me than you’ll ever be! Stay the fuck
away from her or you’ll end up just like your sister!”
He threw her right onto the ground like a piece of

trash. She was met with dirt mixed with some ice
water and stared at the both of us in disbelief. I stared
Page 815 of 1871

at her as well; I wasn’t afraid to look anyone right in
the face. Alfred rushed towards me and the first thing
he did was touch my stomach.
Alfred: “Are you okay? Does it hurt?”
Nombulelo: “I’m fine. It’s just a little knee kick – it is

not that deep, really.”
Alfred: “We need to get you checked.”
Nombulelo: “No, I’m okay.”
Alfred: “That’s not a request – come!”
He pulled me towards him while the rest of the crew

followed us. Pulane was still lying on that filthy
ground more shocked than she was before we left.
The sudden fuss they made over me really annoyed
me. Everyone was just all over me for some reason
and I just didn’t like it. Alfred took no for an answer
and just kept brushing my stomach. I didn’t feel any
pain as I was filled with rage when I was fighting with
her, but when he touched me again, I flinched in pain
and he became instantly worried.
Page 816 of 1871

Alfred: “What is it? Does it hurt? Let me see.”
Nombulelo: (irritably) “I’m okay, honestly. Why are

you making such a big fuss over everything?!”
Alfred: “Let me see!”
He forcibly pulled my shirt up and became really

worried when he saw the big bruise on my stomach. I
am incredibly light so that meant that I bruise easily.
His face was met with horror.
Alfred: “Zo, we’re going to the nearest hospital.”
Zoro: “Is she bleeding?”
Nombulelo: “Why on earth would I be bleeding?”
Kea: “We just want to make sure you’re okay, babe,

that’s all.”
Nombulelo: “You know what?! You guys are acting

weird as fuck and it is creeping me out. Stop the car.”
Page 817 of 1871

Zoro: “No one is stopping the car.”
Nombulelo: “If you don’t stop the car I will fly out this
fucking window! Stop the car!”
Alfred refused and instructed Zoro to step on it. I

became so upset that I kicked one of the windows
open. All it took was just one kick and a very loud
scream. Zoro stopped the car while Alfred begged me
to calm down. I felt so overwhelmed with their fuss
that I just got emotional for no apparent reason.
Nombulelo: “Let me fucking go!”
I got out of my seat and opened that door. When I

walked out, I felt like I could breathe for the very first
time since that morning. Everything that happened
just got to me. I didn’t feel sad or threatened when
Pulane was insulting me, but as soon as I started
reliving it in my mind, I burst into tears. Alfred got out
of the car and tried to console me, but he too was
annoying me to the core.
Nombulelo: (shouting) “Let go of me! Just don’t

touch me!”
Page 818 of 1871

I felt like I was losing my breath for a moment so I just
kept walking. I crossed the road and just walked until I
felt the need to relax and stop. I had no idea what
was happening to me but after a few minutes, I felt
soft hands touching me.
Priscilla: “Hey, babe, it’s okay. Just breathe.”
She coached me and asked me to do some breathing

exercises. After a few minutes I started calming down
and so did my heart rate. She sat right next to me and
didn’t ask any questions until I was okay enough to
speak.
Priscilla: “Are you okay now?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “I’m sorry. You all must think I

am one crazy bitch.”
Priscilla: (chuckling) “No, you’re actually not. Believe

me you are more normal than any of us.”
Page 819 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Fuck, I don’t know why I am so
emotional. It was just a fight, for crying out loud.
Why is he fussing over me so much?”
Priscilla: (nervously) “Because… he loves you.”
It felt like she was hiding something from me. She

hesitated before she told me her answer.
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Now I don’t know how to face

them. Are they still waiting for me?”
Priscilla: “Yep, we don’t leave anyone behind – no

matter what we’re going through.”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “I see. But he must stop telling

me about the hospital or else I will walk home.”
Priscilla: (laughing) “Okay, I will tell him that. Are you

ready to go now?”
I nodded and we got up together. Alfred was smoking

just outside the car and he threw the cigarette on the
ground the moment he saw me walking towards him.
Page 820 of 1871

He said nothing to me at first and just hugged me
tightly.
Alfred: “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
Alfred: “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.

Pulane had no right to do that to you.”
Nombulelo: “Let’s deal with her another time. For

now, I just want to go home.”
Alfred: (nodding) “Okay, but let’s go to my house first.

I will take you home later.”
I just agreed for the sake of agreeing. I actually just

wanted to be alone. I had had enough of funerals and
crying to last me a life time. Indeed, we were the first
ones to be dropped off at Alfred’s house. I got into
the shower and requested that he leave me alone for
a few minutes. The bruise area felt painful to touch
but I was okay with it. After a long while I heard him
open the shower door and he got in just behind me.
He touched me slowly and kissed me and the rest is
Page 821 of 1871

history. We made love in the shower, but my mind
froze because all I could see in my mind was the
gorgeous Pulane telling me how much he enjoyed
blowjobs while I never even gave him one. I stopped
midway and he frowned as he looked at me.
Alfred: “What is it?”
I got down on my knees. I didn’t even know how to

do it, but I figured I’d just see when I got down there.
He stopped me.
Alfred: “No, what are you doing?”
Nombulelo: “I thought you’d want me to…”
Alfred: (shaking head) “I want you to do it when

you’re ready – not because of Pulane. Please, get up.”
He pulled me up and kissed my forehead.
Alfred: “Come, let’s get out of here.”
I nodded in agreement and he closed the taps. We

headed to the bed and he gently lay me down. We
Page 822 of 1871

were still wet but we didn’t care. He kissed me on
every part he was able to kiss. He sucked on my
breasts and they felt so tender to touch. I had no idea
why but I let it be. He went down on me and gently
sucked on my vagina. It felt so beautiful – more than
on a normal day. We made love on that bed and once
we were done he became a little alarmed when he
wiped me down there.
Alfred: (surprised) “Baby, you’re bleeding.”
Nombulelo: “Spotting during sex is normal, Alfie.

Come on now.”
Alfred: “Let’s just call my doctor to confirm that you’re

okay, please.”
Nombulelo: “I can promise you that I am fine, I am

most probably about to have my period. It is not a big
deal.”
Alfred: “Okay then. As long as you don’t feel any

pain. I love you, okay?”
Nombulelo: “I love you too.”
Page 823 of 1871

We dozed off and I completely forgot about going
home. I woke up in the middle of the night around
8pm.
Nombulelo: “Shit, what time is it?”
Alfred: “It’s 8pm, come back to bed.”
Nombulelo: “I have to go home.”
Alfred: “I called Masabatha, Millicent and Nairobi are

fine. She said you could spend the night here. We
have to prepare for school tomorrow in any case.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Are you sure?”
Alfred: “Yes, now come back to bed, please.”
Nombulelo: “I’d love to, but I am so hungry.”
Alfred: “What would you like to eat?”
Nombulelo: “I’m craving pasta. And cheese – lots of

it.”
Page 824 of 1871

Alfred: “Okay then. I will order us some from the
restaurant nearby.”
He kissed me and got out of bed to order the food for

me. I was grateful that he was there despite our little
fights. He tried by all means to make everything okay
for me. He ordered the food and we sat in the lounge
waiting for it to be delivered. Once it was delivered,
we ate and went back to bed around 11pm. I woke
up the following morning at 6am. He took me to the
uniform shop to get some for Millicent and myself. I
ensured that we had enough uniform to last us a
week. At least he was no longer fussing about me like
he did the day before. I couldn’t believe that I was
going to matric. I didn’t buy anything for Nairobi, she
still needed to show me respect. She should have
thought of that when she chose to steal all my
money. We went to a restaurant to eat a little. I was
getting frequently hungry and it started to bother me.
Nombulelo: “I eat so much nowadays. I don’t like it.”
Alfred: “Really? I haven’t noticed.”
Page 825 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Don’t be sarcastic.”
Alfred: “Why would I be? I honestly haven’t noticed.

You are fine just the way you are.”
Nombulelo: “No, maybe I must get checked like you

said. I’ll check in with the school nurse on Monday.”
Alfred: (jumpy) “No! I mean I don’t trust those ones

to give one a decent diagnosis. I mean they do work
for minimum wage, don’t they?”
Nombulelo: “Bathong (goodness) Alfred.”
Alfred: “I’m just saying. If you want a check up, say so

and I will take you to my doctor. He is really good.”
Nombulelo: “Fine then. So listen, I feel like doing

something really good for Masabatha, you know.”
Alfred: “Oh? Something like what?”
Nombulelo: “I’d like to help her finish building her

house. I was thinking of giving her some money.”
Page 826 of 1871

Alfred: “Well, whatever amount you would like to give
her – do it, but she won’t accept money. Rather buy
her material.”
Nombulelo: “Will you assist me with that?”
Alfred: “Sure, you are going to get your cut from the
heist any ways.”
Indeed after we were done eating, we took a drive to

the nearest warehouse and I bought building material
with all the money I had left – R60 000 worth of
material. It felt so good for me to do that. I just
wanted to thank her for everything she had done for
me. I asked them to have it delivered to her house.
That was the first of many good deeds I did and it was
no wonder why the community loved me besides
being a gangster.
As said in Ecclesiastes 12:7 - “And the dust returns to

the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who
gave it.”
Chapter 45
Page 827 of 1871

Psalm 101:7 – “No one who practices deceit shall
dwell in my house; no one who utters lies shall
continue before my eyes.”
That very day I decided to surprise Masabatha and

the tears couldn’t stop flowing from her face. I
wanted her to know just how much I appreciated her.
I needed her to finally be at peace in her own home.
Alfred assisted me with finding builders for her house
and even decided to pay for the labor. She was happy
nonetheless. When I got home and handed Millicent
her uniform, of course my brat of a sister Nairobi just
chose to look at me and not even greet. I was fine
with it, really. The less interaction I had with her – the
better. I was going to juggle both school land my after
school activities being part of a gang. I needed
money and I needed to be secured in case Alfred
decided to go haywire. Men change at any time.
Pulane was a thing of the past – for that time being.
Alfred dropped me off and gave me a chance to settle
in and prepare for school though it was only Saturday.
I received a call from the hospital around 8pm letting
me know that Isaiah and Hanna were supposed to be
released the next day. That was another part of my
stress that I couldn’t deal with – not without
Page 828 of 1871

Masabatha. I called her immediately afterwards, only
to find that Alfred had already arranged with her that
she would be our full time live-in nanny until I finished
school. I was so relieved that he was one step ahead
of me at all times, but it was a bit dangerous. I was so
tired though I didn’t do much that day. I slept around
5pm only to wake up around 9pm craving some
serious pasta. I thought to myself that perhaps it was
the stress because I was not one to eat so much. I
looked around the house and realized that I hadn’t
done grocery shopping in a very long while. I was
getting frustrated because the one thing I wanted was
not in the house, so I decided to call Alfred. He was
my boyfriend so I suppose it was my duty to bother
him.
Alfred: “Hey, miss me already?”
Nombulelo: “Hey, I am craving some serious pasta. I

can’t even sleep.”
Alfred: (chuckling) “Okay, I’ll bring you some.”
Page 829 of 1871

I hung up and decided to watch some TV in the
lounge while I waited on him. Before I knew it,
Nairobi went straight to the kitchen to make herself a
huge amount of food. She was not one to eat so
much either. We didn’t have big appetites but the
amount of food she was eating at that time made
wonder. I stood right near the kitchen and noticed
she was making about 6 slices of bread filled with
mayonnaise, lettuce and tons of cucumber. She put a
lot of peanut butter on the top of it. That was not
really something usual even for a teenager. I had no
idea why I didn’t notice but she had gained a bit of
weight as well – especially around her face.
Nombulelo: “And then wena (you)? Why are you

eating that?”
Nairobi: “Why do you care? Are you going to beat me

up for your food now?”
The nerve. I had no idea why I never noticed. It just

hit me.
Nombulelo: “Are you pregnant?”
Page 830 of 1871

She hesitated for a second and then responded in a
rude tone.
Nairobi: “No, I’m not. Even if I were it’s none of your

business.”
She was about to walk out of the kitchen and I

stopped her.
Nombulelo: “If you’re pregnant and you don’t tell me

– I’ll force you to tell me. You will not keep that baby,
come hell or high waters.”
She forced her way out of the kitchen and rushed to

her bedroom. Something was really off – I could feel
it. When Alfred came he called me immediately.
Alfred: “Hey, I thought we’d go to my place. Come

outside.”
I hung up and rushed to get a light coat from my

bedroom. I ensured that I locked my bedroom. I
didn’t want my shady sister stealing from me. I sent
Page 831 of 1871

Millicent a text letting her know that I was out and
that I’d be back soon. He was excited to see me as
usual and once I got in the car, I could smell the pasta
and cheese. I just couldn’t wait until we got to his
house.
Nombulelo: “Hmm, that smell. I can’t wait very long.”
He chuckled and handed met the plastic bag and I

dug in immediately.
Alfred: “I was thinking we’d stop by Zo’s house before

we go to my place, if that’s okay with you.”
Nombulelo: “Cool. Is there something happening?”
Alfred: “Not really, just a brief meeting to plan the way

forward.”
Nombulelo: “Okay then.”
I was eating along the way while he was driving. By

the time we got there, I was already done eating. He
had brought me a cuppaccino which was the highlight
of my night. We got out of the car and once we made
Page 832 of 1871

our way into the house, I was truly shocked. Zoro just
never ceased to amaze anyone.
Alfred: “Greetings, guys.”
Diesel: “Hey, it’s the parents!”
They all laughed while I just didn’t catch the joke.

Alfred wasn’t too pleased with the joke either for
some reason.
Alfred: (clicking tongue) “Mxm, ah, le ska mbora

(please don’t bore me).”
Diesel: “Askies (sorry).”
I looked around and everyone else was there, but

there was a girl alongside Zoro that I had never met
before. I frowned immediately and looked at Priscilla
who looked away and Kea just smiled. The entire
setup seemed off.
Alfred: “Oh, babe, this is Matshidiso but you can call

her Tshidi. Tshidi, this is my woman, Nombulelo, we
call her Lelo.”
Page 833 of 1871

She looked much like Pulane and Puse in terms of her
structure; she was quite short though but had a really
big bust and small waist. She was quite light and had
ridiculously long nails. I didn’t get the vibe that she
was a new girl judging by the way everyone was
around her and how she knew her way around. She
was quite sure of herself though and walked towards
me.
Tshidi: (smiling) “Oh, you must be the infamous

Nombulelo.”
Gosh, I hated the way she pronounced my name. She

put so much emphasis on it like she was just being
sarcastic. I shook her hand reluctantly. Firstly, her
hideously packed make-up threw me off. Secondly
was the ridiculously long nails and thirdly energy just
doesn’t lie. Her energy was entirely off for me.
Nombulelo: (brief smile) “Nice to meet you,

Matshidiso.”
Page 834 of 1871

I put emphasis on her name just as she did on mine
and she could tell that I was not in the mood for
bullshit.
Matshidiso: “Hmm. Now we are complete.”
What on earth did she even mean? I looked at Alfred

waiting for an explanation but since they said they
didn’t talk about each other’s relationships, I looked at
Zoro until he responded.
Zoro: “Oh, Lelo, I see you are looking a little confused.

Tshidi is my soon to be wife. We’re getting married in
a few months.”
My jaw nearly dropped right there and then. I was

speechless.
Nombulelo: “Oh, I see.”
Zoro most probably felt the need to explain to me but

it was as clear as daylight to me.
Zoro: “I hope you’re not asking yourself what on earth

is going on here, Lelo. The truth is things weren’t
Page 835 of 1871

going well between Puse and I for a very long time.
Tshidi and I have been together for quite some time. I
hope you understand.”
I didn’t see why he was seeking my validation and it

seemed as if he truly needed it which confused Tshidi.
She looked at him and frowned while he waited for a
decent answer from me.
Nombulelo: “Oh, okay, it’s fine. I get it, really.”
Zoro: (relieved) “Well, now that that’s out of the way,

we can focus on the way forward.”
I was just too curious regarding that way forward.
Zoro: “Lelo, now that you’ll be going back to school,

we thought that we’d have meetings Every Friday and
Saturday and we’ll have regular Sunday lunches just to
accommodate you. What do you think of that?”
For a moment I thought that he was going to fire me

from the group but they made arrangements to alter
my schedule. I was really pleased by that.
Page 836 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Wow, uhm, I truly didn’t expect that. I
am honestly okay with that – more than okay, really.”
Everyone else smiled except for the new member.
Tshidi: (frowning) “But why do you have a school girl

in your crew anyway? Shouldn’t she be focused on
her matric year instead of stealing cars with you
guys?”
Alfred frowned immediately.
Alfred: (chuckling) “Askies sesi (Excuse me, sis)? What

did you just say? Are you even hearing yourself?”
Zoro: “Ah, please let’s not get into that. Tshidi,

didimala (keep quiet). This is not the place nor the
time.”
The entire setup between those two looked off. Tshidi

seemed so bossy as if she had a hold on Zoro. She
clearly was unhappy about the entire arrangement
but it was not up to her.
Page 837 of 1871

Zoro: “Anyway, Bongani is bringing the money
tomorrow. I thought we could have our first official
Sunday lunch after all the drama the past few weeks.
We’ll each get our share along with Puse’s as
discussed.”
Alfred: “Cool, are we done here? Lelo and I have

things to do.”
Zo could tell how annoyed Alfred was. He just didn’t

tolerate disrespect towards me and he didn’t want
another Puse on our hands. She was enough
headache as is.
Diesel: “Ah, mfo (bro), we thought we’d have a few

beers.”
Biggie: “Ja, o tla ja marao ka di nako (you can eat

some ass later on).”
Alfred: “Maybe another day. Lelo, let’s go.”
I couldn’t even gossip with Priscilla and that frustrated

me. The fact that Alfred literally wanted me next to
him at all times just bored me sometimes. We said
Page 838 of 1871

our goodbyes and left and I could tell that he was
irritated by that Matshidiso girl. While in the car, I felt
the need to ask him about her.
Nombulelo: “Alfie, what was that all about?”
Normally he would switch me off nicely, but that

evening he decided to sing like a canary.
Alfred: (annoyed) “Waitse (you know), Zo is such an

asshole. I understood his reasons for killing the
mother of his children, his own fiancée but now he
decides to upgrade one of his side chicks to a main
chicks. We just buried Puse yesterday.”
Wow, so I suppose I was right. He actually did kill her.
Nombulelo: “Is she always this irritating?”
Alfred: (chuckling) “You don’t know Matshidiso, babe.

Puse was nothing compared to this one. There’s a
reason why she was his side for all those years. I just
don’t understand why he brought her in and why no
one else sees this problem. She is just not good for us
– at all.”
Page 839 of 1871

Okay, I suppose he sang until he felt the need to stop
singing. That was enough for me to confirm that she
was really dangerous and I needed to be careful.
Nombulelo: “Do you all do this, though? Do you all

have side chicks?”
He hesitated before answering me. Energy does not

lie.
Alfred: (nervously) “No…”
Nombulelo: “Oh, I see.”
Alfred: (sigh) “Look, I wasn’t perfect – ever. I have had

my faults but ever since I’ve been with you I have
been loyal and faithful. I don’t have the time nor the
energy for any other girl but you. If I had it my way,
you’d be my wife already.”
I just nodded in agreement. We arrived at his house

and went straight to bed. The entire Matshidiso thing
weighed heavily on him and I wanted to understand
why. I figured that somehow I needed Priscilla’s
Page 840 of 1871

number. I mean we were basically friends but we
didn’t communicate with one another away from
physically speaking to one another. The following
morning came and it was already Sunday. I had a lot
on my mind, mainly getting the babies settled in and
of course school. Alfred didn’t even bother taking me
home, instead I took a shower at his house and he
made me breakfast. From there, we headed straight
to the shops to buy all the necessities for them; from
baby formula to clothes and he was even kind enough
to buy them a crib and two car seats. I had no idea
why he even did that since I didn’t even own a car.
The amount of clothes he bought them, I felt was a
bit unnecessary but I let him be. From the shops we
went straight to the hospital and they were actually
ready to be fetched. One would swear they weren’t
the premie babies we were visiting every other day.
They had gained a bit of weight and started looking
like full term babies. Alfred was just doting all over
them, but more especially he was all over Hannah.
Usually men are driven to boy children but he was just
so in love with Hannah. We put them in their brand
new car seats and matching clothing just different
colours. When we got home, Nairobi was nowhere to
be found, but Millicent was home and Masabatha
Page 841 of 1871

was right there waiting to receive the babies. She was
such a godsent. Millicent was so happy to see the
babies home and it felt like a brand new home all over
again. It was filled with life; two babies that were
going to fill the house with lots of noise and joy was
just what we needed. Masabatha had placed my
mother’s things in her bedroom and told me that I
could let them go slowly but surely whenever I was
ready. She and Millicent helped by getting the babies
settled, while I felt the need to discuss something
with Alfred. If indeed Nairobi was pregnant, there
was noway he didn’t know.
Nombulelo: “Do you mind going outside for a

minute?”
Alfred: “Sure.”
We went straight to the car and stood right outside of

it.
Nombulelo: “I’d like to ask you a question and I would

love it if you answered me truthfully.”
Alfred: (frowning) “Okay.”
Page 842 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Is Nairobi pregnant?”
His facial expression showed me that I was indeed

right.
Alfred: “Eish (Oh), Lelo, I don’t think I’m the right

person to answer that question.”
That response threw me off.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Are you fucking serious right

now, Alfred?! My sister is only 14 and dating Diesel’s
brother! Do you enjoy seeing her ruin her life or is
that exactly what you want her to do?! How can you
just sit back with all this information knowing very
well that I am her sister and I deserve to know?!”
Alfred: “Calm down, Lelo, please. I didn’t mean it like

that. What I am saying is that I didn’t want to get
involved. I mean I didn’t want you to find out from
me.”
Page 843 of 1871

Nombulelo: (angrily) “When did you expect me to
find out?! When she’d be giving birth?! There’s no
way in hell she is keeping that child!”
That response from me made Alfred lose his mind.
Alfred: (angrily) “What?! Are you being serious right

now?! What’s that supposed to mean?”
Nombulelo: “That means that she’ll get an abortion –

one way or another. If she wants me to support her
child, she will have to work. I already have my plate
full as is.”
Alfred: “You must be joking. Imagine if you were

pregnant, would you enjoy it if I forced you to have an
abortion?”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “You wouldn’t even have to

force me, I will get it should I fall pregnant. That’s
non-negotiable.”
Alfred: (fuming) “You wouldn’t kill my own child! I

wouldn’t let you!”
Page 844 of 1871

Nombulelo: “It’s my body, my choice. You don’t get to
choose what I do with my body, Alfred. I have a
future to think of just like you said. And in any case
why are you getting so worked up because we’re
talking about Nairobi here – not me.”
Alfred: “I’m just saying that should you fall pregnant

you wouldn’t dare kill my child.”
Nombulelo: “You are my boyfriend

not my dictator, Alfred. I need to get hold of Nairobi
and I get the feeling you know exactly where she is.
Will you take me there?”
Alfred: “No, I have things to do.”
He expected me to be angry at him for saying that,

but he didn’t know me. Stubbornness was in my
genes for sure. I still had a bit of money left plus he
did give me money every now and again.
Nombulelo: “Don’t worry, I’ll take an Uber. I know the

way to Prince’s house.”
Page 845 of 1871

He looked at me with defeat as I walked towards the
gate.
Alfred: “But what about our meeting at Zo’s house?”
Nombulelo: “They can wait for me. It’s not like it

depends on me to run, now does it?”
I went straight back into the house fuming. I had no

idea why I was so angry at him. His responses and
attitude just made me angry. My heart was racing so
rapidly making me instantly nauseated again. I rushed
to the bathroom but nothing came out which is
actually worse than vomiting itself. I requested an
Uber to Prince’s street. I knew that he lived there
because I could recall the street name. I wasn’t too
sure of the address, though but I knew that I wouldn’t
get lost. I looked right outside my window and Alfred
was still standing there. That guy, he had just told me
that he had things to do yet he was stalking me right
outside my house. He thought I’d have a change of
heart, but he had another thing coming. When the
Uber came, I told Masabatha that I’d be right back
and she was okay with that. When I approached the
Uber, Alfred got closer to me.
Page 846 of 1871

Alfred: “Lelo, can we talk for a second?”
Nombulelo: “You have my number, I can’t make my

driver wait.”
I got into the car and he stared at me with complete

disbelief. As the driver drove off, he followed us. I
was chuckling to myself. Who did he think he was
anyway? He called me and I ignored it and put it on
silent. Once we reached the street I got off and paid
the driver while Alfred was in his car just behind the
Uber driver. When he drove off, Alfred was just
following me from inside of his car. I walked
unbothered trying to look for the house. I did recall
the way it looked and I spotted it about 5 houses from
where I was. I started walking hastily and he probably
thought that I was just picking and choosing a look-
alike house. When he saw me approach the right
house, he jumped out of his car and begged me to
speak to him.
Alfred: “Baby, can we please talk before you go in

there?”
Page 847 of 1871

Nombulelo: “You had your chance to speak to me
honestly and truthfully yet you failed. You didn’t do
anything wrong, so why are you stressed?”
My sarcasm was driving him mad but I was

determined to show him that I wasn’t a “yes, sir” kind
of girl. I charged in there only to find that there was
no one in the house. They were most probably at
church, but something made me think that Prince and
Nairobi might have been in his room. I tiptoed behind
his room after knocking continuously on the doors
and they didn’t open while Alfred stood there
watching me. He obviously was there to ruin my
mission.
Alfred: “Let’s go, you can see that these people aren’t
home.”
He ensured that he was loud enough, but I didn’t buy

it. I went to the bathroom window and I saw
movement in the room. I looked around and picked
up a brick and threw it right at the bathroom window.
I could hear someone screaming from inside.
Page 848 of 1871

Nombulelo: (shouting) “I’m giving you exactly 10
seconds to get out of there! If you don’t, I will burn
this room down with the both of you in it!”
I started counting since well none of them believed

me. They didn’t know what I had on me.
Nombulelo: “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six – “
I heard a male voice shouting.
Prince: “Okay! I’m coming out! Just so you know, I

have called the police.”
Nombulelo: “Be my guest.”
He walked out and the moment he did I felt so much

rage within me. I grabbed him by the throat and
pinned him down.
Alfred: “Lelo, don’t do that, man! Come on!”
Nombulelo: “Where is she?! Where is my sister?!”
Prince: “I don’t know!”
Page 849 of 1871

I smacked him around a bit and when I saw the half
naked girl that was in his room, it wasn’t Nairobi
indeed. That angered me even more.
Nombulelo: “Where is she?! Do tell me before I cut

your dick off! You’ve obviously been over using it!”
Prince: “I swear, I don’t know!”
Nombulelo: “You do realize that you just ruined her

future, didn’t you? She is pregnant while you are busy
making this one pregnant. Are you proud of
yourself?! Is that what they teach you at private
schools?!”
He looked at me with shock.
Prince: “She’s pregnant?”
Nombulelo: “If she pitches up here you do tell her

that she’d better come home.”
I left him standing there with that shocked girl. I was

honestly disappointed in everyone around me who
Page 850 of 1871

just failed to tell me the truth. I stormed out of there
and just walked while Alfred just kept walking behind
me.
Alfred: “Lelo, please. Can you calm down so we can

talk?”
Nombulelo: “I gave you a chance, Alfred! I asked you

so nicely where she was and I begged you to be
honest, but what did you do? You still chose to lie to
me.”
Alfred: “Look, I didn’t mean to withhold the truth

from you. That’s all I did – I didn’t lie to you. Please,
get in the car so we can talk. Please.”
I got into the car with so many mixed emotions that I

just broke down. I had no idea why I was even crying.
Alfred: “Look, baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do

that.”
Nombulelo: “Where is she?! You should know by

now.”
Page 851 of 1871

Alfred: “I don’t know where she is, but she is probably
at a friend’s house. I will get one of my guys to look
for her. Come, let’s go to Zo’s house, she will come
back home.”
Nombulelo: “Well then, you’d better not lie to me

ever again or else I will lose it. I promise you, Alfred.
Lie to me again and it will really be the end of us.”
Alfred: “I promise you, I won’t lie to you ever again.”
He drove off and we went to Zoro’s house, I was just

so worried about Nairobi despite her being a brat. I
was more worried about the seed growing inside of
her. If anything, I just wanted to get my hands on her
and remove that baby myself. By the time we arrived
at Zoro’s house, I had calmed down. My face was a
bit red from all the crying but I was fine. We got in
hand in hand and found them braaing as usual.
Priscilla and Kea were excited to see me again, while
Matshidiso was well – herself.
Priscilla: “I’m glad you are here, babes.”
Page 852 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Yes, it is actually good to see you guys
again. A lot has been going on, hey.”
Kea: “Tell me about it.”
Nombulelo: “It seems like my sister is pregnant.”
They both looked at me in shock.
Priscilla: “Are you sure?”
Nombulelo: “Seems like it. I asked Alfred about it and

he didn’t deny nor accept it but I noticed just how
jittery he was so I went to Prince’s house.”
Priscilla: “You went to see Diesel’s parents?”
Nombulelo: “They weren’t there, but believe me they

should be glad that they weren’t.”
Priscilla: “Oh, no, you most probably should have

waited for her to come back home. I mean knowing
you, you will kill her.”
Page 853 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I would kill her, really. To make matters
worse, Prince was with some other girl who was half
naked. He said he doesn’t know where Nairobi is.”
Kea: “Well, I personally think you shouldn’t have gone

there. I mean, you should have just let Alfred and
Diesel handle it. It’s not your baby.”
I frowned when I looked at her. Her response was just

something else. She was actually starting to annoy
me.
Kea: “What? I’m just being honest.”
Tshidi: “I’m with Kea on this one, I mean you surely

have a lot on your plate as is with all those siblings of
yours. She had sex without protection knowing very
well that she wanted a baby. She will take care of it.”
Nombulelo: “Well, I’d be damned if I allowed her to

keep it.”
They all looked at me shocked, except for Priscilla of

course.
Page 854 of 1871

Priscilla: “I feel you. Kids honestly just drag you
down. Women sacrifice a lot because of their
children. She is still young, she can have another one
one day.”
Kea: “You’re not serious, Priscilla. I mean after

everything you know about this gang you still want to
advise someone like that? These men love their kids
and they don’t care if you want one or not – you’ll
keep it. Killing their blood is just an equivalent
punishment that Puse received.”
I looked at her; she was basically justifying killing like it

was such an easy thing to do.
Nombulelo: “Well, I don’t care what anyone says; if I

were pregnant, I’d most definitely abort it. It is my
body after all.”
Tshidi: (chuckling) “Okay then, Chuck Norris.”
Priscilla looked at me as if she had pity in her eyes.

The guys came to the table and started laying the
food on the table. Zoro prayed for the food and we
started talking business while eating, for a change.
Page 855 of 1871

Zoro: “So, Bongani has decided to deposit the money
into our accounts as a payment from a trust fund of
some sort. We’re fine, guys, I feel it is best that way.
What do you think?”
They all agreed but me being me I still felt that we

could do with a lot more seriousness in the group.
Nombulelo: “If I may ask, what are your intentions on

spending the money?”
Biggie: “What do you mean?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t want to overstep my mark here,

but just hear me out.”
Tshidi: “Well you obviously are overstepping. You’ve

been here what? Two weeks?”
Alfred: (annoyed) “Zoro, kgala motho wa gao (call

your girl off).”
Zoro: “Tshidi ema nyana le wena man (wait a minute

please).”
Page 856 of 1871

Tshidi: “Sorry.”
Zoro: “Continue, Lelo.”
Nombulelo: “What I mean is that well, you guys have

obviously been in the game for far too long. You’ve
done a lot of heists but at what cost? You get to split
the money amongst all of you and even that is not
enough to sustain you for the next few years. What I
am saying is that you need to think of a big idea; a
business that will run for life. Something that will
keep you going and make you become legitimate
businessmen in the end. No one wants to do crime
forever, right?”
They all looked at me with such intrigue except for the

new member.
Diesel: “I like your idea, but we have bills to pay and

lives to live. We cannot invest our money now. What
did you have in mind?”
Nombulelo: “Well, you guys have obvious skills in

hardcore stuff, but you have a tech genius in the
Page 857 of 1871

group – Priscilla. She could also teach me a thing or
two and we’d be so good that we can go do the real
stuff – fraud. Nothing pays faster than fraud in this
life. You don’t have to do hardcore heists all the time.
Familiarize yourselves with people like Bongani.
People in his caliber enjoy spending money but they
enjoy making it even more. You get acquainted with
soldiers, policemen, everyone whom you can benefit
from and you’ll have a chain big enough to hack one
of the government’s databases. You just need a big
profit – enough to give you a kickstart and buy you a
big business that will sustain you for life. You need to
start thinking out of the box. Your children also want
to have a legacy to remember you by once you are
gone. Yes, taxis and Chesa Nyama’s are goals but until
when? Start thinking a Casino; a hotel. You all get to
be shareholders and split dividends every month.”
They were so interested in my plan and I was just

saying whatever came to mind. I could envision a big
idea from my head coming to life at that point. All I
could see was us all owning a big enterprise and
making money left, right and center. I was tired of
poverty and struggling and I made a vow that I’d
never go back there again.
Page 858 of 1871

Biggie: “Well, Master mind has found his own
protégé. This one is a keeper. I like your ideas
already.”
I was slowly rising to being the new little queen in the

group. I had become the person of interest with my
name on their lips. They’d call Alfred asking when I’d
become available to draft business proposals to
Bongani and everything else that was needed. It felt
so good to be important to them. I was like the little
gem they had been looking for, but even the one with
the brightest light shining has an enemy. I’d become
the Queen Bee of the gang but just one mistake is all
it took for them to look at me in another light. A little
birdie would gossip and feed them information about
me, and me getting rid of the one thing I didn’t want
caused them to throw me under the bus when shit
got real.
Proverbs 20:17 – “Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a

man, but afterward his mouth will be full of gravel.”
Chapter 46
Jeremiah 17:9 – “The heart is deceitful above all
things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”
Page 859 of 1871

By the time the Sunday lunch had ended, I asked Alfie
to stop by the mall as I had a few things to pick up for
the house. He gave me his card and wasn’t bothered
much by how much I’d spend. Luckily for me, on
most days he would stay outside his car and smoke
until I was done grocery shopping though he always
wanted to be next to me. I took his card and went
straight to clicks. I took a few toiletries and three
pregnancy tests. I paid and ensured that I get a paper
bag or something to hide the tests in it before I
walked out of there. I got back into the car and he
dropped me off. I had school the following day any
way so I didn’t want to be bothered. I hadn’t even
seen Michelle since the funeral so I was just all over.
When I got home it was as if the universe was
listening to me because Nairobi was in the kitchen
eating a whole lot of messy things as usual. When I
walked in, she wanted to rush to her bedroom, but I
stopped her.
Nombulelo: “Where are you going?”
Nairobi: “To my room. Do you have a problem with

that?”
Page 860 of 1871

Nombulelo: “No, I just want to talk to you for a
moment.”
Nairobi: “Wow, that’s new.”
I carefully analyzed her. Yes, she was a rude child at

most but she hardly had such an attitude. Her
outbursts were just appalling. When I looked at her
face I noticed some swelling and her eyes were pure
white. Her breasts looked awfully bigger and when I
looked at her stomach, I noticed a bit of protruding
there and I just knew.
Nairobi: (frowning) “What? Why are you looking at

me like that?”
Nombulelo: “No reason. I’m going to be frank with

you on this one and I’d appreciate some honesty.”
Nairobi: “Or what? You’ll beat me senselessly?”
I was getting irritated but I had to keep my cool and

act like I was on her side.
Page 861 of 1871

Nombulelo: (sigh) “Are you pregnant?”
I could always read energy. Her sudden frown and

nervousness showed me that my suspicions were
confirmed.
Nairobi: (nervously) “Why the fuck would you ask me

that?”
Nombulelo: “Who’s the father?”
That send her over the edge as she flipped.
Nairobi: (angrily) “Since when do you even care?! All

you care about is Millicent! As far as I am concerned
you have no right to ask me about my private life! It is
my life and I’ll do as I please!”
She stormed out of the kitchen not forgetting the

plate of food she was busy with and headed straight
to her bedroom. I was quite frustrated. I wanted to
beat her senselessly right there. My mother loved her
enough to give her a better education – an even
better one than Millicent and I would have dreamed
of. We went to a good school though it wasn’t as
Page 862 of 1871

expensive as hers. When I turned around, I noticed
she had left her phone on the table. I took it and
shoved it into my bag when I heard foot steps
approaching.
Nairobi: “Haven’t you seen my phone?”
She felt so entitled to my energy, my food, my

everything without even putting in any effort to assist
in the house.
She walked away and banged the door right behind

her. I went to my bedroom and I got so annoyed just
by looking at the new iPhone she bought with my
money – the money she stole from me. It obviously
had a password but I figured it wouldn’t be so difficult
to crack it. Kids are just like that; they either put their
date of birth as the phone pin or password or their
boyfriends’ name or their anniversary date and all of
that. Her phone required six digits as the passcode. I
figured it would be easy, so I typed a number for each
letter of Prince’s name. Oddly to my surprise it was
denied. She only had one boyfriend as far as I knew,
Page 863 of 1871

so I went on her socials to see if I could spot
something. She posted so many pictures of her and
Prince on Facebook, but nothing concrete, really.
When I went on Instagram, I browsed her profile and I
was startled to think why I didn’t do that before. She
had so many pictures of herself half naked and even
went to places
I hadn’t even gone to. She was so much of a drinker,

why was I not surprised by that? When I scrolled
about 100 odd pictures later, I saw a post that really
got my blood boiling. She posted a bunch of flowers
with some R200 notes in it and captioned it “I never
thought I’d ever feel in love like this at my age. I am
truly one lucky girl. D is a powerful letter.” She
obviously wanted to confuse people by making them
think that by D she meant Dick but it felt more to me
than that. Sure, Prince’s family had money but I
doubt he would have thought of giving her a bunch of
flowers like that more especially when I caught him
with another girl earlier that day. I tried to think of all
possible names that could start with the letter D and
be six digits long but not even a name like Derrick cut
it. The more I pondered my mind and stumbled
across a name I never thought would make it to the
Page 864 of 1871

list of names I had in mind, I nearly died. My heart
started beating faster than usual. I had to be careful
as I had one more chance to crack her passcode. So, I
typed a digit for each letter and pressed okay. The
phone opened and I felt nervous even before I went
through her phone. I went straight to her WhatsApp.
Teens aren’t really big on text messages. I was
dumbfounded to realize that my suspicions were
actually confirmed. The messages that were
exchanged between them alarmed me even more.
She even saved him as D.
D: “Please don’t tell anyone. I’ve always wanted a

baby boy and I know you’re carrying one. I wouldn’t
be saying this if I didn’t love you.”
Nairobi: “You always say that. When are you leaving

her or are you just playing with me?”
D: “I will leave her, I promise you. I just have a lot of

things to sort out. You don’t get it now but one day
you will. She knows too much about me and if I leave
her now, she wouldn’t hesitate to throw me under
the bus.”
Page 865 of 1871

Nairobi: “I understand, but I just want to be with you.
I mean it feels like you’re toying with my emotions.
You can only imagine what my sister will do once she
finds out that I slept with you and your brother.”
D: “That’s why you shouldn’t tell her. I mean come

on, she is a teenager herself so she should not even
control you nor what you say.”
Nairobi: “Okay then, but don’t keep me waiting too

long, Diesel. I love you.”
D: “Speak to you later.”
I had to read that conversation for about 5 times to

make sure that I actually read correctly. My mind
started going through everything that had been
happening ever since I found out that Nairobi had
been dating Prince, Diesel’s brother and then it
clicked. Diesel was acting strange from the get go.
Alfred was acting like he didn’t know but I noticed
that he knew a lot more. When I asked him if he
knew that my sister was pregnant he told me to stay
out of it and that one line got to me; “we don’t kill our
own blood”. What the fuck was going on in that
Page 866 of 1871

crew? Once I went to her Messenger on Facebook I
became even more bewildered. I found threatening
messages from Kea to Nairobi. “Stay away from
Diesel if you know what’s good for you! You are the
one thing that will break this crew apart! Abort that
child if you know what’s good for you!” She was
Biggie’s girlfriend so why was she threatening my
sister about Diesel? I had a feeling that poor Priscilla
had no idea what was happening right under her
nose. One thing was for sure; I was baying for blood.
Clearly I was being made a fool of. They acted like I
was part of the family yet they all knew that Diesel
made my sister pregnant. She was only 14. The
thought of Alfred knowing everything about that
made me want to kill him. I only had one thing in
mind; get rid of that child and plan my escape from
that crew. What they did to Puse would be nothing
compared to what Alfred would do to me I bet to
myself. I had to gather enough money and survival
skills to get out of that crew. They messed with me
because I was young and they played with my sister
and took advantage of her. I was a mess for a few
minutes, but crying would solve nothing. Nairobi
brought it upon herself yes, but she too was a child. I
decided that I’d go get the necessary things. I
Page 867 of 1871

couldn’t call their doctor because he would have most
probably told them but I had to try my luck. I called
him since he did house calls.
Nombulelo: “Hi, Doctor. It’s Nombulelo, I hope you

still remember me.”
Doctor: “Oh, yes, I still do. How are you doing?”
Nombulelo: “I’m well thanks, how are you?”
Doctor: “I am fine thank you. I am so sorry to hear

about your mother.”
Nombulelo: “Yes, well, thank you. I have a favour to

ask of you, but I’d like you to come to my house. You
still do house calls, don’t you?”
Doctor: “Yes, I do.”
Nombulelo: “Would you be able to come today?”
Doctor: “Oh, no, I have so much work to do

unfortunately. I’ll only be able to knock off around
7pm.”
Page 868 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Would you be able to come afterwards?
I’ll pay you double your fee, please.”
Doctor: (sigh) “Please do tell me what this is about.

Are you ill?”
Nombulelo: “You are all about doctor-patient

confidentiality, right?”
Doctor: “Yes, I am.”
Nombulelo: “Good, so I trust you won’t tell anyone

about our conversation. You see, I have a sister that
was raped and I’d like her to get an abortion. You can
give me an abortion pill.”
He paused for a few seconds and I knew that he was

already thinking of a lie but what came out of his
mouth truly shocked me.
Doctor: “You mean your sister Nairobi? She wasn’t

raped. As far as I know it was consensual.”
Page 869 of 1871

Nombulelo: (shocked) “Doctor, you mean to tell me
that as a professional Medical doctor you never tried
to advise her to open a case against someone that old
or something? I mean it is your duty to report such
things, isn’t it?”
Doctor: “As you said – doctor-patient confidentiality.

Besides, I don’t think you can do anything about her
pregnancy right now. She is nearly 4 months
pregnant.”
I could feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.

So, I was being lied to all along by all those around
me.
Nombulelo: “She is 14, Doctor.”
Doctor: “Look, your boyfriend and his crew pay me a

lot of money to do what I do for them, so as far as I
am concerned, I cannot help you. Rest assured that
your conversation with me will not be shared with
anyone but I cannot help you with this. I’d probably
be killed even for considering to assist you. I have to
go. Goodbye.”
Page 870 of 1871

So, he wouldn’t help me and knowing Alfred he would
probably know if I had gone to another doctor for the
pill. I decided to take my chances but me being so
young, it raised a red flag and they either wanted me
to open a case or asked me to bring a guardian with.
After an entire 3 hours of running up and down
Wattville, I finally found someone who could help
me. I noticed those random flyers that are always
posted on almost every corner of every street. I
called the number and he gave me directions to his
little business. It was a dodgy flat but I went to him.
He assisted me and I paid R1000 for some concoction
that would abort the baby for sure.
Nombulelo: “Are you sure this will do the trick?”
Sangoma: “Yes, I’m sure.”
Nombulelo: “If it doesn’t, I will be sure to come back.

Rest assured.”
Sangoma: “I have a lot of ratings and feedback from

my clients. It works.”
Page 871 of 1871

It smelled so horrible, but I had no choice. He advised
me to use as much as I needed and to put in her food
or drink. It was not going to be easy to disguise, so I
decided to make her some potato soup. I thought of
pumpkin soup was not going to be something she
would have liked while expecting. Once I was done, I
poured the entire 2litre bottle into the small pot of
soup I made for her. I had to act as if we were making
amends. I was so annoyed by all the messages and
calls that Diesel was sending and making to her
phone. He obviously couldn’t come to my house as it
would have been rather too suspicious. Once I was
done making the soup I knocked softly on her door
before opening.
Nombulelo: “Can I come in?”
Nairobi: “It’s your house.”
Nombulelo: “I made you some soup.”
I could tell just by the aroma hitting her nostrils that

she wasn’t about to say no.
Page 872 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I found your phone just on top of the
microwave.”
She jumped towards me and grabbed the phone

quickly. I could see she was going through all the
missed calls and messages she had received from
Diesel and I noticed the worry on her face.
Nairobi: “Thanks for the food. Is there anything

else?”
Nombulelo: “No, let me know if you need anything

else.”
She just nodded while I closed the door. I was proud

of myself though it was an evil thing to do. I was not
about to let Nairobi bully me into taking care of
another child while she continues to ruin her life the
way my mother ruined hers. I checked in on the
babies and Masabatha was sleeping at the time. She
was working so hard so I let her be. I prepared for
school and got my uniform ready since it was school
the following day. I woke up the next morning around
6. I couldn’t believe it – I was never late but I
overslept on the very first day of school. I rushed to
Page 873 of 1871

the bathroom to take a quick shower. When I headed
to my bedroom I saw messages from Michelle asking
me where I was and that she took the bus to school
since I was late. I told her that I’d be late. I was
rushing myself through the process but I would have
rather been late than looked untidy. While fixing my
afro I noticed that it was almost 7. School started at
7:30 and I feared that I would really be late. The
headmaster didn’t take lightly to late comers, so I
chose to try Alfred and he answered on the first ring.
Alfred: “My baby love. How are you? Are you ready
for your first day of school?”
Nombulelo: “Hi, Alfie. I am running late. Do you think

you’ll be able to take me to school today?”
Alfred: (chuckling) “Make that every day. Give me ten

minutes, I’ll be right there.”
I checked in on Masabatha but she was fast asleep. It

wasn’t easy taking care of two babies. I wanted to
check in on Nairobi mainly to see if the medicine was
Page 874 of 1871

actually working, but her door was locked. I took it
that she wasn’t going to school yet she stole my
money to pay for her fees. Millicent was already gone
and had packed some lunch for me as well with a little
note “Good luck on your first day as a matriculant.
Xoxo Millicent”. I went outside and as punctual as he
was he had just arrived. I got into the car and gave
him a quick kiss. He wanted to talk about how
beautiful I was and that I was glowing but I was truly
not interested especially after finding out of their
betrayal.
Alfred: “Damn, you are glowing, Mama. Have you

seen yourself?”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Alfred, please just drive. I don’t

want to be late. It is such a big day for me today.”
Alfred: “On it.”
He was just chatting about the usual and I just felt so

frustrated that I had to hide what I knew about him
and his little crew. I was thankful that I arrived at 7:20
just ten minutes before the gates were locked.
Page 875 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Thank you for dropping me off. I’ll see
you later.”
Alfred: (nodding) “I’ll be here when you get out.”
I was not bothered much by that. I found Michelle

sitting all by herself on one of our usual spots at
school and she was so glad to see me.
Michelle: “Girl! I thought you were quitting school!”
Nombulelo: (laughing) “Why on earth would I do

that?”
Michelle: “I don’t know, you’re never late.”
Nombulelo: “I just have a lot on my mind, that’s all.”
Michelle: “Good things, I hope. We are going to make

it big in life and we need to be right by each other’s
side.”
Nombulelo: “Forever and always.”
Page 876 of 1871

Little did I know that the promise we made to one
another that morning was never fulfilled. We made
our way to assembly and the headmaster welcomed
us on our very first day as the new matriculants of
that very year. The air and breeze at school felt
different. I felt hopeful and positive that it would be a
great year though I had lost my mother just a few
days prior. I wasn’t one to sulk, I had a dream to fulfil
and make myself proud. I was even happier to find
out that Mrs. E was going to be our register teacher
once again that year. It really brought joy to my heart
as she was one of my favourite teachers. When we
were about to walk into the classroom she stopped
me for a few minutes.
Mrs. E: “Hey, Nombulelo, can I speak to you for a few

minutes?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, ma’am.”
Mrs. E: “I am so sorry about your mother. I heard

about it and I was in Cape Town. Had I known earlier,
I would have made it to the funeral.”
Nombulelo: “It’s okay, ma’am. Thank you.”
Page 877 of 1871

Mrs. E: “Do you mind me announcing to the class?”
Nombulelo: “Please don’t do that. I know you care

and it comes from a good place, but I don’t want pity.”
Mrs. E nodded and hugged me briefly before I

entered the classroom. The register was taken and all
the formalities were done in the morning. It was a
normal day for me but I just kept checking on my
phone for any messages or posts from Nairobi or
Masabatha, but nothing. I felt a little anxious but that
was the least of my problems. By the second period I
was feeling so sleepy. I tried staying awake but
eventually dozed off. The teacher had to wake up a
few times along with Michelle. To make matters
worse I just felt so hungry. By break time I bought a
whole lot of food but the one thing I always indulged
in was Soda water. Michelle looked at me oddly.
Michelle: “Are you okay, my friend?”
Nombulelo: “Yes
I am. What’s the problem?”
Page 878 of 1871

Michelle: “You’ve just been behaving weirdly today.
You don’t sleep like this and you don’t eat this much.”
Nombulelo: “Ag, it’s probably just hormones or

something. It’s been a hectic week.”
Michelle: “Cool, but if it continues you need to see

the school nurse.”
The day went ahead and I still felt even more sleepy
than I was in the morning. I tried my best to stay
awake, though. Matric is not like any other year. We
had an extra hour and a half every day for extra
classes to catch up and prepare ourselves for the
upcoming exams. I was not one to mind hard work
but it felt like I was doing more than I actually could
on the very first day of school. When 3:30 hit, I just
couldn’t wait to get home and sleep. When we
walked out of the gate, Alfie was right there to fetch
me.
Michelle: “I see Alfred is here. I will see you at home

then.”
Page 879 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Nonsense, you cannot ride the bus
when he is here. Come on.”
She was really hesitant at first but I forced her to get

into the car with me. Alfred didn’t mind as he adored
her.
Alfred: “Hey, girls. How was your first day of school?”
Michelle: “It was fine, thanks. Your girl here has been
so sleepy today. I hope you’re not keeping her up,
Alfred. She needs to study.”
Alfred: (chuckling) “Oh, no, I wouldn’t do that to her. I

love her too much to do that to her.”
Michelle: “I hope so.”
Nombulelo: “But friend, do you have to embarrass

me like that, though?”
Michelle: “What’s honesty amongst friends?”
Page 880 of 1871

We all laughed and Alfred asked if we wanted
something before we went home and I asked for
McDonalds which surprised Michelle.
Michelle: “You really don’t eat so much, Nombu,

what’s going on?”
Alfred jumped in there really quickly.
Alfred: “It’s all the stress, I think, Michelle. She has

been through a really tough time this week.”
Michelle nodded though I could sense a lot of worry

in her. I ate that McFeast so fast that it didn’t even
bother me. Michelle just put her food in her bag and
ate her chips. She was quite petite and didn’t eat
much either. Alfred dropped her off first and when I
got home, I was alarmed by what awaited me. Alfred
was not so shy to walk into the house any more since
Masabatha was fond of him. The moment I walked in
I was met with the stench of blood. I could see some
blood in the passage just outside Nairobi’s bedroom.
When I walked into her room the odor was so
unpleasant I had to open the windows. There was so
much blood almost everywhere in the room and
Page 881 of 1871

mostly on the bed. I actually panicked thinking that
perhaps I killed her. I looked around and no one was
home – not even the babies nor Masabatha or
Michelle. Alfred looked even more panicked than I
was.
Alfred: (panicking) “What happened here?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know, I was at school,

remember?”
Alfred: “Call Masabatha.”
I called Masabatha but she didn’t answer. I tried a few

more times but I didn’t get an answer and that made
me worry even more.
Alfred: “And?”
Nombulelo: “She’s not answering.”
Alfred: “Try again.”
While I was trying to call Masabatha again he was

busy texting on his phone. When it was clear that
Page 882 of 1871

Masabatha really wasn’t going to answer her phone,
Alfred really surprised me with his response.
Alfred: “Come, they’re at the hospital.”
He rushed out of the house before me. While rushing

out of the house along with him, my heart wanted to
break because I was right all along. He was in on it
and acted like he didn’t know anything. Why didn’t
he do his best to at least try and protect my sister
from all that? We got into the car and he drove off in
such high speed. I could see how worried he was as if
it was his own sister. When we got to the hospital, I
was even more shocked to see the entire crew there –
even Priscilla. She was so clueless as to why they all
had to be there. I saw Masabatha and Millicent in the
waiting room just outside the ward.
Nombulelo: “Mme (ma), thank goodness I found you.

I have been trying to call you. What happened?”
Masabatha: “I must have left my phone in the

ambulance since we were rushing to the hospital.”
She had the twins in their car seats right before her.
Page 883 of 1871

Millicent: (teary) “There was so much blood, sesi
(sis). When I got into her room and I heard her faint
scream, I had to ask Masabatha to try and break the
door down. I fail to think of what would have
happened had we not arrived there.”
She broke down in tears. She had always been the

emotional one amongst the three of us. Masabatha
looked at me so weary as if she already knew what I
had done. Diesel looked so worried and was pacing
up and down frantically. They all came to sit in the
waiting area where we were.
Diesel: “What did the doctor say, Ma? Will she be

alright? And the baby?”
Priscilla was not stupid at all, I mean she was good in

IT so she had a really high IQ. She just stared at Diesel
throughout the entire time he was pacing up and
down like the concerned father he was. I could feel
my blood boiling as I looked around and everyone
else acted stupid.
Page 884 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Why are you so concerned, Diesel?
What baby are you talking about? Are you saying my
sister is pregnant?!”
That was when I finally caught their attention.
Alfred: “Baby, calm down, please.”
Nombulelo: “Are you fucking with me right now,

Alfred?! I must calm down when my sister is just 14
and pregnant?! Who is the father? It can’t be Prince
because when I went to his house to confront him he
acted really shocked.”
Diesel: “Calm down, Lelo, this is not the time, please.

People are watching.”
I could tell how broken Priscilla was; sitting there

staring at her cheater of a man with her arms folded
and forcing herself not to cry. I bet it was not the first
time he had done that to her. The men begged me to
calm down while Kea was just chilling in her seat on
her phone the entire time and Matshidiso looked at
me like I was just insane. When the doctors came to
Page 885 of 1871

update us of the news, it was the final nail in the
coffin.
Diesel: “Doctor, how is she? Is the baby going to be

alright?”
Doctor: “I’m afraid I have some really bad news. The

damage done was so severe that we even had to
remove her womb. The baby died inside of her and
was already in a few pieces. We had to do a
hysterectomy. I am really sorry for your loss, but she
will recover, however she won’t have children ever
again.”
I nearly collapsed right on that hospital floor. Diesel’s

frantic behaviour made my head spin while Priscilla
just stood up and walked out of the room. The
doctor’s words really shattered me. It was at that
moment I thought to myself; “what have I done?” I
felt my entire body weaken and my legs were failing
me. I nearly fell to the ground when Alfred caught
me. He started unbuttoning my shirt and making
some air for me to breathe. Everything felt so blurry
for a moment. Alfred kept calling out my name and
begged the doctor to assist me. I was loaded onto a
Page 886 of 1871

stretcher and taken into one of the rooms. It wasn’t
my physical being affect me, or so I thought, but my
conscience was getting to me. Yes, I killed an
innocent child who was going to bring me nothing but
more hardship but I also killed her future dreams of
producing any more children. I knew that if she had
found out she was going to hate me forever. While I
was in one of the ER rooms, I recovered and went
back to my normal self while Alfred was right by side.
The doctor was about to insert a drip in me, for what,
I had no idea and I honestly didn’t care. My main
concern was Nairobi. I got off that bed while the
doctor was trying to pin me down along with Alfred.
Nombulelo: “Doctor, let go of me before I press

charges against you. You cannot do anything to a
patient that refuses to be treated. I know my rights.”
He let go of me while Alfred looked at me like I was

insane. When I looked him in the eye that day I felt so
angry. I rushed towards Nairobi’s ward when I heard
Diesel cursing her saying that she killed his baby.
Diesel: (angrily) “You killed my child, Nairobi! How

could you do that?! After all I have done for you?!”
Page 887 of 1871

When I walked in, his back was facing me but Kea
tried to tip him by nudging him with her elbow. So,
she was really in on it – too into it actually. Priscilla
was nowhere to be seen. Clearly some of us were
clowns in that group. When he turned around he
looked at me and nearly dropped to the floor.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “So, you really thought I

wouldn’t find out, Diesel? You slept with my 14year
old sister and impregnated her?! You and your
brother must be really proud of yourselves to have
done that to a child.”
Diesel: “It’s not what you think – it just happened.”
Nombulelo: “And here I was thinking that we’re a

family. And worst part is that you knew, Alfred. In fact
you all knew.”
Matshidiso: “Oh come on enough with the theatrics.

It’s not like your sister is innocent in all of this. She
wanted to sleep with him.”
Page 888 of 1871

Nombulelo: (angrily) “I don’t recall talking to you,
bitch.”
She wanted to come for me but I was taller and I

could take her out in a heartbeat. Zoro held her back
and suggested that they all walk out to give my sister
and I some space. Alfred remained but I just wasn’t
ready to speak to him.
Nombulelo: “Please leave, Alfred. I’d like a moment

with my sister.”
Alfred: “But, I – “
Nombulelo: “Leave.”
He left reluctantly and let me be. My guilt was

starting to eat me up at that point, but honestly I did
her a favour. She was not going to enjoy being a
mother at that age. She looked so broken; I thought
that she would be relieved but I was wrong.
Nombulelo: “Hey, how are you feeling?”
Nairobi: (teary) “Did you do it?”
Page 889 of 1871

Nairobi: “Did you kill my baby, Nombulelo?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t get what you mean. Why would I

even do that?”
Nairobi: “Oh, I don’t know. Most probably because

you just want to control everything and everyone
around you!”
I knew what I had done but I didn’t have it in me to

confess.
Nombulelo: “I would never do that to you, Nairobi. It

is probably best that you are not pregnant any more.
You get to live your life now.”
Nairobi: “Don’t insult me! What’s a life without my

womb?! I am scarred for life. Diesel thinks that I
killed his child! His own son! He will never forgive
me.”
Page 890 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Diesel has his own girlfriend, Nairobi. He
has his own kids and family.”
Nairobi: “Don’t you get it? He was my ticket to a good

life. I don’t want to burden you any longer and you
just had to go ruin that. You have a good life with
Mastermind yet you decided to tamper with mine.”
Nombulelo: “I didn’t do it.”
Nairobi: “Of course you didn’t yet I started feeling

cramps after eating your precious soup!”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know what else to tell you.”
Nairobi: “I know why you won’t confess. You are

afraid that your lovely crew will turn against you or
even kill you if they know. Relax, I won’t tell them, I
mean who will feed me and take care of me? One
day, just one day, this information will come in handy
against you. Just so you know that I will never forgive
you for what you have done to me.”
Nombulelo: “Nairobi, you’re still too young to

understand, but – “
Page 891 of 1871

She cut me off right there.
Nairobi: “Get out.”
Nombulelo: “I just wanted to say that – “
Nairobi: “I’m not interested. Just get out!”
I walked out and closed the door. I didn’t see the

crew around, but they were a bit afar from the room.
All who were left was Masabatha and Millicent. It was
as if Masabatha couldn’t wait to speak to me.
Masabatha: “Millicent, would you be so kind to take

the babies to Alfred’s car? I want to have a word with
Nombulelo.”
She agreed and did as told. Masabatha looked at me

with so much disgrace. That day, I felt like nothing. I
respected her so much but knowing how she really
felt about what I did made me feel even worse.
Nombulelo: “What is it, Ma?”
Page 892 of 1871

Masabatha: “You may fool others or even yourself,
but we both know that you know what you did.”
I felt chills all over my body.
Nombulelo: “What do you mean, Mme (ma)?”
Masabatha: “I don’t have to spell it out for you. As I

have said I am not here to judge I am here to parent
you, but what you did was inexcusable. You took the
right to choose from her; you not only killed her child
but you killed her future dreams of having her own
children.”
I felt so weak.
Nombulelo: “Mme (ma), I – “
She put her hand up.
Masabatha: “You don’t have to lie to me. You know

what you did and God knows it too. I just hope that
one day you realize the damage you have done today.
As a result, I will only be with you guys until the end of
next month. I feel I cannot be around you anymore.
Page 893 of 1871

You have done so much for me and I would like to
repay you the money you have spent on building me
my house.”
She was deserting me.
Nombulelo: “Ma, please don’t do that. I never

expected any repayment of any kind. I did what I did
out of love. I truly understand why you want to leave
and I acknowledge what I did.”
Masabatha: “If you truly did acknowledge, you would

have told her what you did. Yes, so many parties
involved were wrong but it was not your choice to
make. You were rather unfair towards her because
when your time comes, no one will be in the way of
you making yours.”
She felt so hurt and betrayed by what I did that I

actually saw the pain in her eyes. It clearly hit home
but what made me feel worse was the fact that she
wanted to leave us. She was the only person who
cared about us so if she left who would be left to care
for us? I broke our family apart that day but it was
bound to happen sooner rather than later. I played a
Page 894 of 1871

part in the person that Nairobi became. I created a
monster full of hatred. I too was to blame for the
deceit I portrayed that day.
As said in Psalm 120:2 – “Deliver me, O Lord, from

lying lips, from a deceitful tongue.”
Chapter47
Jeremiah 17:9 – “The heart is deceitful above all
things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”
By the time the Sunday lunch had ended, I asked Alfie

to stop by the mall as I had a few things to pick up for
the house. He gave me his card and wasn’t bothered
much by how much I’d spend. Luckily for me, on
most days he would stay outside his car and smoke
until I was done grocery shopping though he always
wanted to be next to me. I took his card and went
straight to clicks. I took a few toiletries and three
pregnancy tests. I paid and ensured that I get a paper
bag or something to hide the tests in it before I
walked out of there. I got back into the car and he
dropped me off. I had school the following day any
way so I didn’t want to be bothered. I hadn’t even
seen Michelle since the funeral so I was just all over.
When I got home it was as if the universe was
Page 895 of 1871

listening to me because Nairobi was in the kitchen
eating a whole lot of messy things as usual. When I
walked in, she wanted to rush to her bedroom, but I
stopped her.
Nombulelo: “Where are you going?”
Nairobi: “To my room. Do you have a problem with

that?”
Nombulelo: “No, I just want to talk to you for a

moment.”
Nairobi: “Wow, that’s new.”
I carefully analyzed her. Yes, she was a rude child at

most but she hardly had such an attitude. Her
outbursts were just appalling. When I looked at her
face I noticed some swelling and her eyes were pure
white. Her breasts looked awfully bigger and when I
looked at her stomach, I noticed a bit of protruding
there and I just knew.
Nairobi: (frowning) “What? Why are you looking at

me like that?”
Page 896 of 1871
Nombulelo: “No reason. I’m going to be frank with
you on this one and I’d appreciate some honesty.”
Nairobi: “Or what? You’ll beat me senselessly?”
I was getting irritated but I had to keep my cool and

act like I was on her side.
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Are you pregnant?”
I could always read energy. Her sudden frown and

nervousness showed me that my suspicions were
confirmed.
Nairobi: (nervously) “Why the fuck would you ask me

that?”
Nombulelo: “Who’s the father?”
That send her over the edge as she flipped.
Nairobi: (angrily) “Since when do you even care?! All

you care about is Millicent! As far as I am concerned
Page 897 of 1871

you have no right to ask me about my private life! It is
my life and I’ll do as I please!”
She stormed out of the kitchen not forgetting the

plate of food she was busy with and headed straight
to her bedroom. I was quite frustrated. I wanted to
beat her senselessly right there. My mother loved
her enough to give her a better education – an even
better one than Millicent and I would have dreamed
of. We went to a good school though it wasn’t as
expensive as hers. When I turned around, I noticed
she had left her phone on the table. I took it and
shoved it into my bag when I heard foot steps
approaching.
Nairobi: “Haven’t you seen my phone?”
She felt so entitled to my energy, my food, my

everything without even putting in any effort to assist
in the house.
She walked away and banged the door right behind

her. I went to my bedroom and I got so annoyed just
Page 898 of 1871
by looking at the new iPhone she bought with my
money – the money she stole from me. It obviously
had a password but I figured it wouldn’t be so difficult
to crack it. Kids are just like that; they either put their
date of birth as the phone pin or password or their
boyfriends’ name or their anniversary date and all of
that. Her phone required six digits as the passcode. I
figured it would be easy, so I typed a number for each
letter of Prince’s name. Oddly to my surprise it was
denied. She only had one boyfriend as far as I knew,
so I went on her socials to see if I could spot
something. She posted so many pictures of her and
Prince on Facebook, but nothing concrete, really.
When I went on Instagram, I browsed her profile and I
was startled to think why I didn’t do that before. She
had so many pictures of herself half naked and even
went to places
I hadn’t even gone to. She was so much of a drinker,

why was I not surprised by that? When I scrolled
about 100 odd pictures later, I saw a post that really
got my blood boiling. She posted a bunch of flowers
with some R200 notes in it and captioned it “I never
thought I’d ever feel in love like this at my age. I am
truly one lucky girl. D is a powerful letter.” She
Page 899 of 1871
obviously wanted to confuse people by making them
think that by D she meant Dick but it felt more to me
than that. Sure, Prince’s family had money but I
doubt he would have thought of giving her a bunch of
flowers like that more especially when I caught him
with another girl earlier that day. I tried to think of all
possible names that could start with the letter D and
be six digits long but not even a name like Derrick cut
it. The more I pondered my mind and stumbled
across a name I never thought would make it to the
list of names I had in mind, I nearly died. My heart
started beating faster than usual. I had to be careful
as I had one more chance to crack her passcode. So, I
typed a digit for each letter and pressed okay. The
phone opened and I felt nervous even before I went
through her phone. I went straight to her WhatsApp.
Teens aren’t really big on text messages. I was
dumbfounded to realize that my suspicions were
actually confirmed. The messages that were
exchanged between them alarmed me even more.
She even saved him as D.
D: “Please don’t tell anyone. I’ve always wanted a

baby boy and I know you’re carrying one. I wouldn’t
be saying this if I didn’t love you.”
Page 900 of 1871
Nairobi: “You always say that. When are you leaving
her or are you just playing with me?”
D: “I will leave her, I promise you. I just have a lot of

things to sort out. You don’t get it now but one day
you will. She knows too much about me and if I leave
her now, she wouldn’t hesitate to throw me under
the bus.”
Nairobi: “I understand, but I just want to be with you.

I mean it feels like you’re toying with my emotions.
You can only imagine what my sister will do once she
finds out that I slept with you and your brother.”
D: “That’s why you shouldn’t tell her. I mean come

on, she is a teenager herself so she should not even
control you nor what you say.”
Nairobi: “Okay then, but don’t keep me waiting too

long, Diesel. I love you.”
D: “Speak to you later.”
Page 901 of 1871

I had to read that conversation for about 5 times to
make sure that I actually read correctly. My mind
started going through everything that had been
happening ever since I found out that Nairobi had
been dating Prince, Diesel’s brother and then it
clicked. Diesel was acting strange from the get go.
Alfred was acting like he didn’t know but I noticed
that he knew a lot more. When I asked him if he
knew that my sister was pregnant he told me to stay
out of it and that one line got to me; “we don’t kill our
own blood”. What the fuck was going on in that
crew? Once I went to her Messenger on Facebook I
became even more bewildered. I found threatening
messages from Kea to Nairobi. “Stay away from
Diesel if you know what’s good for you! You are the
one thing that will break this crew apart! Abort that
child if you know what’s good for you!” She was
Biggie’s girlfriend so why was she threatening my
sister about Diesel? I had a feeling that poor Priscilla
had no idea what was happening right under her
nose. One thing was for sure; I was baying for blood.
Clearly I was being made a fool of. They acted like I
was part of the family yet they all knew that Diesel
made my sister pregnant. She was only 14. The
thought of Alfred knowing everything about that
Page 902 of 1871
made me want to kill him. I only had one thing in
mind; get rid of that child and plan my escape from
that crew. What they did to Puse would be nothing
compared to what Alfred would do to me I bet to
myself. I had to gather enough money and survival
skills to get out of that crew. They messed with me
because I was young and they played with my sister
and took advantage of her. I was a mess for a few
minutes, but crying would solve nothing. Nairobi
brought it upon herself yes, but she too was a child. I
decided that I’d go get the necessary things. I
couldn’t call their doctor because he would have most
probably told them but I had to try my luck. I called
him since he did house calls.
Nombulelo: “Hi, Doctor. It’s Nombulelo, I hope you

still remember me.”
Doctor: “Oh, yes, I still do. How are you doing?”
Nombulelo: “I’m well thanks, how are you?”
Doctor: “I am fine thank you. I am so sorry to hear

about your mother.”
Page 903 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Yes, well, thank you. I have a favour to
ask of you, but I’d like you to come to my house. You
still do house calls, don’t you?”
Doctor: “Yes, I do.”
Nombulelo: “Would you be able to come today?”
Doctor: “Oh, no, I have so much work to do

unfortunately. I’ll only be able to knock off around
7pm.”
Nombulelo: “Would you be able to come afterwards?

I’ll pay you double your fee, please.”
Doctor: (sigh) “Please do tell me what this is about.

Are you ill?”
Nombulelo: “You are all about doctor-patient

confidentiality, right?”
Doctor: “Yes, I am.”
Nombulelo: “Good, so I trust you won’t tell anyone

about our conversation. You see, I have a sister that
Page 904 of 1871

was raped and I’d like her to get an abortion. You can
give me an abortion pill.”
He paused for a few seconds and I knew that he was

already thinking of a lie but what came out of his
mouth truly shocked me.
Doctor: “You mean your sister Nairobi? She wasn’t

raped. As far as I know it was consensual.”
Nombulelo: (shocked) “Doctor, you mean to tell me

that as a professional Medical doctor you never tried
to advise her to open a case against someone that old
or something? I mean it is your duty to report such
things, isn’t it?”
Doctor: “As you said – doctor-patient confidentiality.

Besides, I don’t think you can do anything about her
pregnancy right now. She is nearly 4 months
pregnant.”
I could feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.

So, I was being lied to all along by all those around
me.
Page 905 of 1871

Nombulelo: “She is 14, Doctor.”
Doctor: “Look, your boyfriend and his crew pay me a

lot of money to do what I do for them, so as far as I
am concerned, I cannot help you. Rest assured that
your conversation with me will not be shared with
anyone but I cannot help you with this. I’d probably
be killed even for considering to assist you. I have to
go. Goodbye.”
So, he wouldn’t help me and knowing Alfred he

would probably know if I had gone to another doctor
for the pill. I decided to take my chances but me
being so young, it raised a red flag and they either
wanted me to open a case or asked me to bring a
guardian with. After an entire 3 hours of running up
and down Wattville, I finally found someone who
could help me. I noticed those random flyers that are
always posted on almost every corner of every street.
I called the number and he gave me directions to his
little business. It was a dodgy flat but I went to him.
He assisted me and I paid R1000 for some concoction
that would abort the baby for sure.
Nombulelo: “Are you sure this will do the trick?”

Page 906 of 1871
Sangoma: “Yes, I’m sure.”
“If it doesn’t, I will be sure to come back. Rest
assured.”
Sangoma: “I have a lot of ratings and feedback from

my clients. It works.”
It smelled so horrible, but I had no choice. He advised

me to use as much as I needed and to put in her food
or drink. It was not going to be easy to disguise, so I
decided to make her some potato soup. I thought of
pumpkin soup was not going to be something she
would have liked while expecting. Once I was done, I
poured the entire 2litre bottle into the small pot of
soup I made for her. I had to act as if we were making
amends. I was so annoyed by all the messages and
calls that Diesel was sending and making to her
phone. He obviously couldn’t come to my house as it
would have been rather too suspicious. Once I was
done making the soup I knocked softly on her door
before opening.
Nombulelo: “Can I come in?”
Page 907 of 1871

Nairobi: “It’s your house.”
Nombulelo: “I made you some soup.”
I could tell just by the aroma hitting her nostrils that

she wasn’t about to say no.
Nombulelo: “I found your phone just on top of the

microwave.”
She jumped towards me and grabbed the phone

quickly. I could see she was going through all the
missed calls and messages she had received from
Diesel and I noticed the worry on her face.
Nairobi: “Thanks for the food. Is there anything

else?”
Nombulelo: “No, let me know if you need anything

else.”
She just nodded while I closed the door. I was proud

of myself though it was an evil thing to do. I was not
about to let Nairobi bully me into taking care of
another child while she continues to ruin her life the
Page 908 of 1871
way my mother ruined hers. I checked in on the
babies and Masabatha was sleeping at the time. She
was working so hard so I let her be. I prepared for
school and got my uniform ready since it was school
the following day. I woke up the next morning around
6. I couldn’t believe it – I was never late but I
overslept on the very first day of school. I rushed to
the bathroom to take a quick shower. When I headed
to my bedroom I saw messages from Michelle asking
me where I was and that she took the bus to school
since I was late. I told her that I’d be late. I was
rushing myself through the process but I would have
rather been late than looked untidy. While fixing my
afro I noticed that it was almost 7. School started at
7:30 and I feared that I would really be late. The
headmaster didn’t take lightly to late comers, so I
chose to try Alfred and he answered on the first ring.
Alfred: “My baby love. How are you? Are you ready
for your first day of school?”
Nombulelo: “Hi, Alfie. I am running late. Do you think

you’ll be able to take me to school today?”
Page 909 of 1871

Alfred: (chuckling) “Make that every day. Give me ten
minutes, I’ll be right there.”
I checked in on Masabatha but she was fast asleep. It

wasn’t easy taking care of two babies. I wanted to
check in on Nairobi mainly to see if the medicine was
actually working, but her door was locked. I took it
that she wasn’t going to school yet she stole my
money to pay for her fees. Millicent was already gone
and had packed some lunch for me as well with a little
note “Good luck on your first day as a matriculant.
Xoxo Millicent”. I went outside and as punctual as he
was he had just arrived. I got into the car and gave
him a quick kiss. He wanted to talk about how
beautiful I was and that I was glowing but I was truly
not interested especially after finding out of their
betrayal.
Alfred: “Damn, you are glowing, Mama. Have you

seen yourself?”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Alfred, please just drive. I don’t

want to be late. It is such a big day for me today.”
Page 910 of 1871
Alfred: “On it.”
He was just chatting about the usual and I just felt so

frustrated that I had to hide what I knew about him
and his little crew. I was thankful that I arrived at 7:20
just ten minutes before the gates were locked.
Nombulelo: “Thank you for dropping me off. I’ll see

you later.”
Alfred: (nodding) “I’ll be here when you get out.”
I was not bothered much by that. I found Michelle

sitting all by herself on one of our usual spots at
school and she was so glad to see me.
Michelle: “Girl! I thought you were quitting school!”
Nombulelo: (laughing) “Why on earth would I do

that?”
Michelle: “I don’t know, you’re never late.”
Nombulelo: “I just have a lot on my mind, that’s all.”
Page 911 of 1871

Michelle: “Good things, I hope. We are going to make
it big in life and we need to be right by each other’s
side.”
Nombulelo: “Forever and always.”
Little did I know that the promise we made to one

another that morning was never fulfilled. We made
our way to assembly and the headmaster welcomed
us on our very first day as the new matriculants of
that very year. The air and breeze at school felt
different. I felt hopeful and positive that it would be a
great year though I had lost my mother just a few
days prior. I wasn’t one to sulk, I had a dream to fulfil
and make myself proud. I was even happier to find
out that Mrs. E was going to be our register teacher
once again that year. It really brought joy to my heart
as she was one of my favourite teachers. When we
were about to walk into the classroom she stopped
me for a few minutes.
Mrs. E: “Hey, Nombulelo, can I speak to you for a few

minutes?”
Page 912 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Yes, ma’am.”
Mrs. E: “I am so sorry about your mother. I heard

about it and I was in Cape Town. Had I known earlier,
I would have made it to the funeral.”
Nombulelo: “It’s okay, ma’am. Thank you.”
Mrs. E: “Do you mind me announcing to the class?”
Nombulelo: “Please don’t do that. I know you care

and it comes from a good place, but I don’t want pity.”
Mrs. E nodded and hugged me briefly before I

entered the classroom. The register was taken and all
the formalities were done in the morning. It was a
normal day for me but I just kept checking on my
phone for any messages or posts from Nairobi or
Masabatha, but nothing. I felt a little anxious but that
was the least of my problems. By the second period I
was feeling so sleepy. I tried staying awake but
eventually dozed off. The teacher had to wake up a
few times along with Michelle. To make matters
worse I just felt so hungry. By break time I bought a
Page 913 of 1871

whole lot of food but the one thing I always indulged
in was Soda water. Michelle looked at me oddly.
Michelle: “Are you okay, my friend?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I am. What’s the problem?”
Michelle: “You’ve just been behaving weirdly today.

You don’t sleep like this and you don’t eat this much.”
Nombulelo: “Ag, it’s probably just hormones or

something. It’s been a hectic week.”
Michelle: “Cool, but if it continues you need to see

the school nurse.”
The day went ahead and I still felt even more sleepy
than I was in the morning. I tried my best to stay
awake, though. Matric is not like any other year. We
had an extra hour and a half every day for extra
classes to catch up and prepare ourselves for the
upcoming exams. I was not one to mind hard work
but it felt like I was doing more than I actually could
Page 914 of 1871
on the very first day of school. When 3:30 hit, I just
couldn’t wait to get home and sleep. When we
walked out of the gate, Alfie was right there to fetch
me.
Michelle: “I see Alfred is here. I will see you at home

then.”
Nombulelo: “Nonsense, you cannot ride the bus

when he is here. Come on.”
She was really hesitant at first but I forced her to get

into the car with me. Alfred didn’t mind as he adored
her.
Alfred: “Hey, girls. How was your first day of school?”
Michelle: “It was fine, thanks. Your girl here has been
so sleepy today. I hope you’re not keeping her up,
Alfred. She needs to study.”
Alfred: (chuckling) “Oh, no, I wouldn’t do that to her. I

love her too much to do that to her.”
Michelle: “I hope so.”

Page 915 of 1871
Nombulelo: “But friend, do you have to embarrass
me like that, though?”
Michelle: “What’s honesty amongst friends?”
We all laughed and Alfred asked if we wanted

something before we went home and I asked for
McDonalds which surprised Michelle.
Michelle: “You really don’t eat so much, Nombu,

what’s going on?”
Alfred jumped in there really quickly.
Alfred: “It’s all the stress, I think, Michelle. She has

been through a really tough time this week.”
Michelle nodded though I could sense a lot of worry

in her. I ate that McFeast so fast that it didn’t even
bother me. Michelle just put her food in her bag and
ate her chips. She was quite petite and didn’t eat
much either. Alfred dropped her off first and when I
got home, I was alarmed by what awaited me. Alfred
was not so shy to walk into the house any more since
Page 916 of 1871
Masabatha was fond of him. The moment I walked in
I was met with the stench of blood. I could see some
blood in the passage just outside Nairobi’s bedroom.
When I walked into her room the odor was so
unpleasant I had to open the windows. There was so
much blood almost everywhere in the room and
mostly on the bed. I actually panicked thinking that
perhaps I killed her. I looked around and no one was
home – not even the babies nor Masabatha or
Michelle. Alfred looked even more panicked than I
was.
Alfred: (panicking) “What happened here?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know, I was at school,

remember?”
Alfred: “Call Masabatha.”
I called Masabatha but she didn’t answer. I tried a

few more times but I didn’t get an answer and that
made me worry even more.
Chapter 47
Proverbs 27:4 – “Wrath is cruel, anger is
overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?”
Page 917 of 1871
I spent the next week feeling like absolute hell. I felt
weak from within and though I had school work to
concentrate on, it felt like I wasn’t even doing my best
because I was constantly sleepy and hungry. I’d even
try to study but failed to concentrate. Nairobi’s
operation was so bad that she had to stay in hospital
for a week. Despite all I did, Masabatha was still nice
and kind to me. I tried to avoid her as much as
possible because I just felt like I did something really
horrible which she would never be able to forgive.
She was working and still taking care of the twins
wholeheartedly. I still had hope within me that she’d
feel pity for us and keep working for us. Of course,
Diesel paid for her hospital bill, most probably to
avoid a rape charge, but a lot was just going on. For
one, I felt so horrible for Priscilla. It felt like she really
had no idea, while two, I wasn’t on speaking terms
with Alfred. Well, he was speaking to me while I
wasn’t speaking to him. I was so full of rage that I felt
like leaving the entire crew. They were calling me
daily in intervals to a point where it felt like
harassment. Alfred would pitch up at my house every
morning that week without fail while I just ignored
him. He wanted to take me to school, but I ensured
Page 918 of 1871
that I’d wake up on time as always just to catch the
bus with Michelle. He’d send lunch to my school
during break and I’d indulge with Michelle. He’d text
me but I just wouldn’t even text him back. That entire
week was just full of oblivion. So much was going on
and I just was too tired to notice. While I was trying
to do my homework that Sunday evening, a message
from my bank came through; “Capitec: +R262 500.00
Ref: Trust fund”. I tried to figure out where that
money would come from but I knew it wasn’t from
the trust my grandmother had opened for me before
she passed on. The rules were clearly stipulated that
I’d only be able to get that money if I were to enroll
for a degree at University. Just then while I was lost in
thought, Alfred called. I just stared at my phone
screen until he sent me a text message. “Hey, did you
receive your share of the money?” I dropped what I
was busy with and started calculating right then. As
far as I was concerned the original amount from the
heist was R2.5 million. To my understanding each of
us were going to get each R312,500 – including Puse.
When she passed on, it was said that her share was
going to be shared amongst us, which meant that
each of us were supposed to get R357,142. Now if I
got R262,500, where did the rest of the money go? It
Page 919 of 1871
just didn’t make any sense. He pestered me with calls
yet again and I answered that time.
Alfred: (sigh) “Finally, you answered.”
Nombulelo: “What do you want, Alfred?”
Alfred: “Ouch, am I back to being Alfred now?”
Nombulelo: “What do you want?”
Alfred: “The gang requested a meeting with all of us –

you included.”
Nombulelo: “I’m busy.”
Alfred: “Please, it won’t take long. I promise you.

Besides, they all have something they’d like to say to
you.”
I paused for a while.
Alfred: “Hello? Are you still there, baby?”
Page 920 of 1871

Alfred: “Are you coming?”
Nombulelo: “Do I have a choice?”
Alfred: “Don’t be like that. I’ll see you in ten minutes.

I’m on my way.”
One thing I did gather for the past week was that they
did discuss everything – literally everything despite us
girls thinking that they didn’t. What I couldn’t
understand was why Diesel did what he did to Priscilla
and how Kea got to know about it while Priscilla
remained clueless. I was still yet to find out. I was in
my pajamas and I didn’t bother to change. That’s just
how bored I was of them already. When he arrived
he called and said that he was outside. I got out and
he was a bit taken aback but he was truly happy to
see me. Man, he still looked as handsome as ever. He
smelled so good and there were no traces of cigarette
scent. He tried to hug me but I declined.
Alfred: “Are you still mad at me?”
Page 921 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Is that why you came here? To disturb
me on a Sunday night so that we can talk about your
feelings?”
Alfred: (chuckling) “Okay, I see. You’re playing hard to

get. I like it.”
Nombulelo: “Let’s go.”
Alfred: “Are you really going dressed in your

sleepwear?”
Nombulelo: (annoyed) “Is that going to be a problem

for you and your friends?”
Alfred: “No, not at all.”
He drove off and updated me about the happenings

of the crew and just how empty everyone felt without
my presence. I wasn’t into it, really. In fact I was
playing with my phone but he just kept talking. When
we arrived I didn’t wait for him to open my door for
me, I opened it myself. I could see he was a little
saddened by it but I didn’t care. He forcibly held me
tightly towards him as we walked in. They were
Page 922 of 1871
drinking as usual and everyone was happy – too
happy even. The sight was so distasteful it made me
want to vomit. How could they smile like that when
my sister nearly died? Call me a hypocrite as they say
in churches, I’ll take it. Priscilla didn’t look as chirpy as
ever. She looked a bit sad but once she saw me I saw
her face light up. I went straight to her despite
everyone keeping quiet awkwardly when they saw
me. I hugged her tightly and it truly felt like she
needed that hug.
Nombulelo: “Hey, are you well?”
Priscilla: (teary) “Yes, you?”
We didn’t even get time to catch up because Kea was

instantly snappy.
Kea: “Excuse me? Don’t I get a hug?”
I just looked at her with a different eye from that day

onwards. She just seemed like such a snake to me.
Page 923 of 1871

So, I had to roll with the punches and pretend. I went
to her as well and briefly hugged her.
Kea: “Long time, baby girl. You look good, hey.”
Of course Matshidiso was still the same old.
Tshidi: “You’ve even gained a bit of weight around

your stomach. I see school is starting to stress you
out.”
Nombulelo: “Hmm, hi Tshidi. Still as insulting as ever, I

see.”
The guys looked guilty as fuck.
Zoro: (clearing throat) “It is nice to see you again,

Lelo. Welcome back.”
Nombulelo: “Thanks.”
Zoro: “Firstly, I would like to apologize on Diesel’s

behalf.”
Page 924 of 1871

I was not in the mood for his speeches at all so I cut
him off.
Nombulelo: “Why? He is a big boy and can surely do

that himself, can’t you, Diesel?”
I looked him straight in the eye with my arms folded.

Everyone was a bit shocked but I didn’t care. It was
high time they knew that I wasn’t one to mess with. I
was not a “yes, sir” kind of girl.
Diesel: (nervously) “Uh, yes, I’m really uh, sorry for

what I did to your sister. It just wasn’t right and when
I realized what I did, I felt so horrible about it. I just
wish you could find it in your heart to forgive me. We
don’t do such to family and this crew really needs
you.”
Nombulelo: “Well, it isn’t really about me but about

my sister. Most of you knew what Diesel was doing
and you smiled with me and hid it from me. What
kind of family does that to their own? I know you
have your own values and your own way of doing
things from even before I joined you but really? How
do you allow a guy in his 20s to impregnate one of his
Page 925 of 1871
brother’s girlfriends? I am one of you, yes, but when
you fuck up we should not be afraid to tell you nor
one another. It is high time you guys realize how
much you are fucking with people’s lives here. And
for your sake, Diesel, I hope you have apologized to
Priscilla because what you did to her was even more
fucked up. She is the mother of your children.”
I said a much needed mouthful but just when I

thought that those guys had a glimmer of hope to
change and become better men, Diesel just shocked
me.
Diesel: “Yes, which is why I would like to make things

right, starting from tonight.”
He took out a little box from his jean pockets and

went straight to Priscilla.
Diesel: “P, ever since you came into my life it has been
nothing but pure bliss. You have loved me for who
and what I am regardless. You even dropped out of
Varsity just to join this crew and make it a success.
You have nursed many of my wounds – both physical
and emotional. You have given me two gorgeous girls
Page 926 of 1871
and for that I am forever grateful. You have been
there even when I kept fucking up, you just never lost
hope and faith in me.”
He knelt down and opened the ring box. I honestly

felt like that was just bad timing. He obviously did
that to close the gap he created. Priscilla on the other
hand looked defeated. To me, she seemed so over
everything. I think she had reached a stage where
she had enough of him.
Diesel: “P, will you marry me?”
It wouldn’t have gone down well his disgusting rapist

throat had she rejected him right on the spot in front
of his friends. She looked around a bit hesitantly and I
just knew that she didn’t want that ring, but for the
sake of saying yes, she nodded. She didn’t even utter
a yes nor did she cry, she just nodded. He jumped up
and placed the ring on her finger and kissed her while
everyone else was clapping for them. Zoro even
made a toast to her but it just felt so fake from
Diesel’s side.
Zoro: “Now, can we talk business?”

Page 927 of 1871
I nodded and we sat down on the big table.
Zoro: (clearing throat) “Well, I assume everyone of

you received your cut of the heist?”
They all agreed without saying a word further which

surprised me. He wanted to continue but I raised my
hand.
Zoro: “Yes, Lelo?”
Nombulelo: “Forgive me for interrupting you but as

far as I am concerned the money is short - a whole
lot short. Didn’t you say that we were each going to
get Puse’s share divided amongst us?”
Zoro: “Oh, that. Yes, well

that was the initial plan.”
I knew he had a change of heart when he said that.
Nombulelo: “But?”
Page 928 of 1871

Zoro: “But, we all agreed that we’d give Bongani R50
000 each from our cut – including Puse’s cut since he
risked his life for us and the rest of the money will be
for the wedding.”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “What wedding?”
Zoro: “Diesel and Priscilla along with Tshidi and I will

be getting married. We’ll be having a double
wedding.”
Priscilla looked down. She wasn’t very pleased. I

mean who discusses a wedding without involving the
wife? What was that? Kea on the other hand still
didn’t have a ring on her finger yet her loyalty
remained unshaken.
Nombulelo: “Oh, but I would have appreciated it had

you told me.”
Tshidi: “How could we when you weren’t answering

anyone’s calls this entire week?”
I was just irritated by that girl so I just gave her a stare.
Page 929 of 1871

Alfred: “Babe, I was going to explain everything to
you. I am sorry about that.”
Tshidi: (laughing) “O nale nako (you have time),

Master mind. Girl, they did you a favour. It is not like
any of you participated in the heist. I mean had it
been me I’d not have given you a cent.”
Nombulelo: “You know, you talk a lot for someone

who just stepped into a dead woman’s shoes.”
Zoro: “Okay, I think we are getting out of hand right

here. Can we just not get into an argument right
now? Please.”
Nombulelo: “Fine.”
Zoro: “What I meant was that we do apologize for not

letting you in the loop but Tshidi has a valid point. You
weren’t answering your phone when the decision was
taken, so Alfred voted on your behalf. In any case, we
need your assistance. It is high time we put your
ideas in motion. Bongani has organized his
acquaintances and partners for us and we’d like to
launch our business proposal. They are willing to hear
Page 930 of 1871
us out after we pitched a few ideas to Bongani. We’d
like you to run the entire thing; all your ideas we’d like
to go ahead and give us a few ideas and put them in
motion. We trust you and we know that you’ll take
our crew to newer and better heights. Are you
keen?”
Everyone looked at me so curiously and anxiously.

Alfred had this look of hope on his face. It hit me that
all those girls were actually there because they were
needed for their skills. I mean Alfred was so in love
with me and I hadn’t seen him in a week. What made
me think that he wasn’t cheating on me? I had one
goal and one goal only: to make enough money to
leave that bloody gang.
The guys let out huge sighs of relief while I could tell
that Kea and Tshidi were going to be a problem. The
crew meant basically everything to them. I could
have left right there and then but they used money to
lure me in even deeper, I just didn’t know it at that
point. When you grow up amongst very unpleasant
circumstances men can smell it. They always know
Page 931 of 1871
who to target to get their way. Their appreciation
towards me made me feel a sense of belonging
despite what they had done to my sister and to me.
That made me feel a little important, like I had a
purpose and meant something to someone. I was
guilt-ridden by what I had done, Masabatha made her
feelings clear and I failed to repent. Instead, I went
ahead and dug a deeper hole for myself with the
wrong people.
Zoro: “Good then. We need to formalize the logistics

during the week. If you can, liaise with us whenever
you can so that we can start with the very first formal
meeting with the potential clients.”
Tshidi: “Why can’t we do it now? I mean the night is

still young.”
I swear Zoro just knew how to pick them; pretty and

blonde.
Zoro: “We all know that Lelo has school.”
Page 932 of 1871

Tshidi: “Well, we can talk things through and brief her
when we see her again, right?”
Alfred: (annoyed) “That’s not how we do things here.

Besides, you don’t call the shots.”
She kept quiet and looked down but somehow I could

sense that Zoro didn’t like how Alfred was
intimidating his soon to be wife. I could tell by the
way he was looking at him.
Alfred: “Let’s go, love.”
Nombulelo: “Bye guys.”
I didn’t have the time to touch base with Priscilla, but I

knew that a day would come when we would speak
about everything. On our way home, Alfred raised an
issue I thought was not even on his mind.
Alfred: “So, now that your birthday is less than two

months away, what would you like?”
Nombulelo: (excitedly) “Anything?”
Page 933 of 1871

Alfred: “Yes.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, well, you can start by taking my best

friend and I to a spa. I’ve never been to one. We’d
like a taste of the soft life before we go to Varsity.”
He laughed and nodded. That was all I wished for

that evening, really. I didn’t really think of it much but
I was turning 18 and it was a big milestone. He
dropped me off at home and we said our goodbyes.
By then Nairobi was out of the hospital, but would be
stuck in her room. I saw Millicent every now and
again but life was just so busy. I managed to do my
homework and go to bed. I got up on time without
fail the following morning. Alfred came to fetch me
and Michelle found him there waiting for me that
morning. He dropped us off at school and told me to
wait for him after my afternoon classes that day as he
had a nice surprise for me. I was used to him and his
surprises so I didn’t mind. My day was okay but I
failed to stay awake yet again. It was just so odd that
my class mates were also sleepy as well. Break time
came and Michelle noted something that I failed to
for quite some time. While we were eating, Alfred
had ordered me food yet again, but for some odd
Page 934 of 1871
reason, I couldn’t stand the smell of the egg as there
was an omelet in the bag. I ran to the girls toilets and
vomited. She came running after me to ensure I was
okay. She was such a good friend.
Michelle: “Are you okay?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I don’t know really. That smell.”
Michelle: “Which smell?”
Nombulelo: “Oh, the egg. It’s horrible.”
Michelle looked at me and frowned.
Nombulelo: “What?”
Michelle: “Do you really not see what’s going on

here?”
Nombulelo: “Where?”
Michelle: “When was the last time you had your

period?”
Page 935 of 1871

I chuckled thinking she was just playing a horrible joke
on me, but when I tried to recall I just couldn’t
remember. I started panicking when I looked at her.
Michelle: “I think you should go see the school nurse

straight after school.”
Nombulelo: “But I can’t possibly be pregnant.”
Michelle: “Do you use condoms? Are you on

contraceptives?”
When she asked that my head nearly spun for a

minute. How the fuck could I have been so careless?
Michelle: “Look, the signs are there. Your protruding

breasts, your weight gain, your sleeping pattern and
your increased appetite. I am surprised you never
noticed. Besides, everyone is already suspecting you.”
Michelle: “They obviously won’t tell you because

they’re afraid of you. And you know how the
headmaster feels about pregnant learners.”
Page 936 of 1871
Nombulelo: “Then I can’t go see the school nurse.
What if she discusses this with the headmaster?”
Michelle: “She has no right. You know all about

doctor-patient confidentiality. She won’t tell a single
soul.”
Nombulelo: “Then I can’t wait until after school. I

need to go as soon as possible.”
Michelle: “Go while it’s still break. If you’re not back

after break, I’ll tell ma’am that you had a massive
headache or something.”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Thanks my friend. I really

appreciate it.”
Michelle went to get our bags while I headed straight

to the Nurse’s room. Luckily there was no one there
besides her. I knocked sternly on her door. She was a
nice old, white lady who spoke softly.
Nurse: (smiling) “Oh, hello, Lelo, isn’t it?”
Page 937 of 1871

Nombulelo: (nodding) “Yes, ma’am. How do you
know me? I’ve never been here for as long as I can
remember.”
Nurse: (chuckling) “It’s my duty to know students,

especially the matriculants. What can I do for you
today?”
Nombulelo: “I, uh, I’d like to get a pregnancy test,

please.”
I was worried that she’d judge me for a moment, but

she was really nice about it.
Nurse: “Okay then. Please sit while I take down some

information for my file. I would just like to assure you
that everything we do in here stays in here, okay?”
I nodded in agreement. She asked me a few

questions such as when last I got my period. After
about ten minutes she took out a cup and asked me
to go pee in it in the bathroom and leave it there. So
many things were going through my mind and I just
wasn’t ready for. I went and did as told and she went
back in there to do the test. She came back with it
Page 938 of 1871
and explained the results and what a positive looked
like. While she was making conversation, I just knew
that I didn’t even have to wait 5 minutes. I could see
the second line appearing while she was speaking and
I could feel the tears warming my eyes. My heart
stopped beating for a few seconds.
Nurse: “Look darling, it’s not the end of the world.

Yes, you are pregnant and according to the
information you gave me you’re about 4 weeks
pregnant or so. This is not the 20’s where you are
forced to keep the baby. Mistakes happen and that’s
just how it is. You have options, so I am
Chapter 48
It's been a hectic week, guys. More inserts to follow.
Proverbs 14:30 – “A tranquil heart gives life to the

flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.”
My blood was boiling after Priscilla left. It wasn’t even

about the fact that she chose to speak at that point,
but it was for the mere fact that she was the only one
who seemed genuine enough to tell me everything.
How dare Alfred lie to me like that and think he would
get away with it? Constantly I’ve been lied to in my
Page 939 of 1871

face without any shame by all of them. It felt to me
that Priscilla and I were just pawns in their little game.
She too didn’t seem to know certain things that
affected her like what Diesel had done to her. The
more I thought of the entire situation, I felt that I
needed to teach them a very hard lesson about life. It
wasn’t supposed to end there according to me – oh,
no. I felt as if Alfred was lying to me about way more
than just the number of kids he had. I realized I
needed to up my game and always be alert. I took a
bath and went to check on the twins before bed. Just
before sleeping, I received a text message from
Priscilla with the details as promised. I made it a point
to make an appointment there, but I needed to know
exactly how many eyes Alfred had. I went to bed and
had a rather short night’s sleep. The morning came
once again and Alfred arrived at my house with the
car he bought for me.
Nombulelo: “And what’s this?”
Alfred: “You are driving yourself to school today, with

my assistance of course. The sooner you learn – the
better.”
Page 940 of 1871

I got into the car and Michelle said that she’d be
running a bit late so her parents would be taking her
to school that morning. While driving Alfred
confronted me just like Priscilla said, which gave me
more reason to trust that she was on my side.
Alfred: “So, what was Priscilla doing here last night?”
Nombulelo: “Hmm, stalking me, are you?”
Alfred: (chuckling) “No, we like taking care of our

assets.”
There’s something about spilling secrets; it makes you

look a person in another light. You start noticing
mistakes and little white lies. I cringed when he called
me an “asset”. So that’s all I was to him?
Nombulelo: “She just came to touch base with me.

She ran a few ideas with me regarding the upcoming
event.”
Alfred: “Oh? What kind?”
Page 941 of 1871

Nombulelo: (sigh) “Are we going to talk business every
time, Alfie?”
Alfred: “Of course not. I just wanted you to brief me,

that’s all.”
Nombulelo: “How about this; when you fetch me

today from school we can go to Zo’s house and I will
brief you all there. How about that?”
Alfred: “Okay, I’d like that very much, Mama.

Speaking of after school, I booked an appointment
with my doctor for you.”
Nombulelo: (nervously) “There’s no need for that.

You already know that I am pregnant, don’t you?”
Alfred: “Yes, but I would like to make sure that

everything is okay. My daughter needs to be well
taken care of straight from the womb.”
Nombulelo: “How do you even know it’s a girl?”
Alfred: “I have a good feeling. I’ve always wanted a

girl.”
Page 942 of 1871

I figured it was time for me to test how far he was
willing to lie to me.
Nombulelo: “Always? You only have two boys. Why

do you make it sound like you’ve been trying for quite
some time?”
He cleared his throat nervously and I could tell he was

indeed lying to me. Energy never lies.
Alfred: “I just mean that I’ve always wanted a girl.

Girls are just so precious, you know.”
Nombulelo: “Hmm, I see. What would you say if I told

you that I’m not ready to be a mother?
Hypothetically speaking.”
He instantly changed his entire mood.
Alfred: (angrily) “What do you mean by that?! You

mean you would actually abort my own child?!”
Nombulelo: “No, I was just asking.”
Page 943 of 1871

Alfred: “We don’t kill our blood. Don’t do what your
sister did, unless you want to see another side of me.”
Nombulelo: “Surely a woman is allowed to choose

what must be done with her body, Alfred. I mean, I
didn’t ask for this baby. Why do I get the feeling you
planned this whole thing? To get me pregnant
deliberately?”
Alfred: “No, I never did that. It just happened – you

were there, weren’t you? When we had unprotected
sex. As far as I recall you didn’t say no, so how could I
have planned all this? This is God’s plan for us, for our
relationship. Besides, I will take good care of you and
our baby. You can be sure of that. There’s nothing for
you to worry about.”
He just sounded rather controlling and dangerous, it

just didn’t feel right. I kept quiet until I arrived at
school. He forcibly pulled me closer to him so he
could kiss me goodbye.
Alfred: “See you later.”
Page 944 of 1871

He drove off leaving me conflicted. I really didn’t
want a baby nor did I see myself as his wife straight
after high school. Was that all life was meant to be for
women? I met up with Michelle a while later and
school continued. I was still sleepy but I tried my best
to stay awake by drinking lots of water. By the time it
was after school, Alfred was really waiting for me at
the gate in the new car. We gave Michelle a ride
home and she was impressed with all the effort that
Alfred was putting into our relationship. I was rather
irritated when he was doting about my pregnancy.
Alfred: (excitedly) “So, Michelle, has your bff over

here told you that we’re expecting?”
He looked at me while I faked a smile. I knew

Michelle knew what I was thinking at that moment.
Michelle: “Really? No, she didn’t. Wow! I guess

congratulations are in order.”
Alfred: “Well, we don’t know how far we are as of

yet. We’re on our way to the doctor for
confirmation.”
Page 945 of 1871

Michelle: “Well, that wasn’t in her plans, but I do
hope this doesn’t interfere with her plans to finish
school.”
Alfred: “My wife will be the most educated woman I

know. No woman of mine will leave school – no way.
Everything is in order. She has all the support she
needs.”
Michelle nodded uncomfortably. We dropped her off

and he drove straight to his doctor’s office. I just
didn’t like the fact that he was forcing me to use his
doctor but I didn’t really have a choice. When we
arrived it looked like the doctor was expecting us, so
Alfred had booked an appointment already
beforehand without actually telling me. My voice
meant nothing. When we walked in he was so excited
and they had their own little chat as if I was not
there. Have you ever sat in a room with people
talking about you in third person as if you were not
around? I was the pregnant one so surely I was the
most important person at the time.
Doctor: “So, I hear you have come to check how far

you are.”
Page 946 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Oh, well, I don’t really know if I am
pregnant or not.”
Doctor: “It doesn’t really matter. I can see it in your

face. Let’s do an ultrasound, that will determine what
we need faster, okay?”
I just nodded nervously. He asked me to change in

one of the gowns in the bathroom and I lay on that
uncomfortable bed. I swore to myself that I’d never
lay in that bed ever again. It was going to be the last
for me. He had prepared the ultrasound machine for
me and it was ready for use by the time I was done in
the toilet. Alfred rushed to my side while the doctor
started.
Doctor: “I am going to put this gel on your tummy,

okay? It’s a little cold, but it is not uncomfortable.”
I just nodded and I saw a lot of unusual images on the

screen. Normally we saw such on TV. He moved the
ultrasound around and before I knew it, I saw a little
black circle on the screen.
Page 947 of 1871

Doctor: “There is your baby. You’re about 4 and a half
weeks pregnant.”
I knew that the school nurse had already confirmed it

the day before but hearing it again and seeing it just
made me feel like dying. Alfred was jumping for joy
and couldn’t stop kissing me meanwhile I was riddled
with so much anger and resentment. I didn’t want
that child at all – I wasn’t conflicted, my mind was
already made up. Having to fake my feelings was
really tough for me.
Alfred: “So, when will we be able to hear the

heartbeat, Doc? Around 8 weeks or so if I am not
mistaken?”
Alfred was there acting like the exact experienced
father he was. He had gone through it 6 times
already, so what did I expect? I failed to understand
his mindset; there I was less than 2 months shy from
turning 18 with a whole list of struggles on my name
but with yet an even longer list of future plans. He
was experienced enough and had an entourage of
children. I knew deep down at that point that he was
being selfish for wanting me to keep that baby.
Page 948 of 1871

Doctor: (nodding) “Yes, you are right.”
Alfred: “I cannot wait to find out what the gender is. I

bet it’s a girl.”
His excitement was just aggravatingly annoying. The
doctor said a lot of things but I just didn’t hear any of
them. I was thinking of how stupid I was throughout
the entire time. In that day and age I failed to use a
condom despite seeing what my mother went
through. He prescribed some vitamins for me along
with folic acid, apparently they were good for the
baby’s wellbeing and growth. Alfred couldn’t stop
thanking the doctor for such a positive appointment
while asking more questions that just popped out of
his head as if he didn’t know the answer already.
While we were in the car, I just listened to him talk
about the appointment and the scan and how he had
high hopes that the baby would look like me and have
my brains. Having to keep on fake smiling literally hurt
my facial muscles.
When we got to Zoro’s house, I saw a lot of

decorations just outside with a big banner written
“Congratulations”. The moment we walked in, we
were showered with congratulatory messages from
Page 949 of 1871

all of them. Once again, I just had to pretend while
they all seemed to have known for a while. I couldn’t
stop looking at Priscilla who looked incredibly sad yet
also pretending to be happy. She had been down that
road before and I couldn’t help but fear that my turn
was right around the corner. Of course, Tshidi just had
to pretend to be happty but I didn’t care. It’s not like I
was going to keep that baby anyway.
Zoro: “A huge congratulations to the golden couple!

You two deserve all the good coming your way!”
Diesel: “Of course! Lelo, we know that you’re young

and this might have come as a rather unexpected
surprise to you, but you are made of steel – we’ve all
seen it. We do hope that you enjoy this new journey
ahead because you will be taken care of – no doubt.”
Biggie: “We all know now that Master mind truly

doesn’t miss!”
They all laughed while I could tell that it hit a nerve on

Diesel’s side after suffering the recent loss, but only
then did it make sense to me what they meant
whenever they said to me that he doesn’t miss. That
Page 950 of 1871

fucker could shoot a load into a woman. I got mad at
myself for being reckless enough to give it to him raw.
I didn’t even think of what could have happened
should I have tested positive on that day at the
doctor’s appointment.
They were all so happy while I just smiled. We had a

good meal and they had a few gifts set up for us as if
it was a baby shower of some sort. It all seemed too
well planned out for an impromptu party, which
meant that they had known for quite some time. The
more the days went by, the more I actually realized
that the crew just wasn’t loyal to me – to women
themselves. What bothered me was Kea’s loyalty to
them. What did she have that the rest didn’t have? I
was still yet to find out. A few speeches were said and
I was honestly just over it. After about 3 hours, it was
finally time to go home. Boy, was I glad. I had to think
of a way to start planning the next phase in my life. I
was not about to go to school for the next few
months with a big belly. Halfway to my house, he
begged me to go to his house with him.
Alfred: “I was hoping we’d go to my house and spend

the night there.”
Page 951 of 1871

Nombulelo: (sigh) “I am hardly ever home nowadays,
Alfie. I don’t even get to see the twins.”
Alfred: “Okay then, but promise me that this weekend

you’ll be at my house. We do have an event to plan
after all.”
Oh, shit. I had forgotten about that event for a

moment. Which meant that I couldn’t go ahead and
get the abortion done before then. It would honestly
have ruined everything.
Nombulelo: “Sure, you can take me to your house on

Friday after school.”
He agreed and kissed me goodbye. Getting out of

that car felt like I could finally breathe. He took all the
gifts home with him as I told him I didn’t want to rub
my pregnancy in Nairobi’s face after the tragedy she
had just gone through. I was starting to become a
good liar. Masabatha was sleeping along with the
twins so I didn’t want to bother her. Millicent was
also in bed while Nairobi’s bedroom door was
constantly locked. I let them be and headed to the
Page 952 of 1871

bathroom for a quick bath and then I lay in bed. I
received a check in text from Michelle and another
from Priscilla. When I was about to sleep, I was a bit
surprised to receive a text from an unknown number;
“If I were you, I’d run and never look back. You cannot
handle Mastermind and you will never be the one. If I
can’t have him – no one can.” I tried to recognize the
number but failed. When I called the number, oddly I
received a “the number you have dialed does not
exist” message tone. I ignored it. I had so much on
my plate and thought that it was just one of his side
chicks or exes wanting my attention. The following
morning came and Alfred was on time as usual. He
gave Millicent some lunch money after seeing her run
out of the house. She was almost late for her school
bus. I waited on Michelle a bit as she was running
later than usual.
Alfred: “You know, you should really consider

changing schools for Millicent or getting her school
transport.”
Nombulelo: “Why? She is fine with the bus and she

needs to socialize.”
Page 953 of 1871

Alfred: “I just feel she could use the change of
scenery. She is getting way too many stares and
comments where she currently goes to school. It is
not going to do her self-esteem very well.”
He was quite observant even for a prick like him. I

started to feel like a terrible sister. Millicent and I
were each other’s rock and if she had a problem, I
should have been the first one to notice. I made a
mental note to check in on her later that day.
Michelle finally came and apologized for being late.
She just looked happier than usual, like she was just
glowing.
Michelle: “So sorry I am late guys.”
Nombulelo: “Yes, it is so unlike you. What’s up?”
Michelle: “Ag, nothing really. I overslept. It is very

unusual, I agree.”
Alfred: “Ladies
you know I have all day, but can we go now? I don’t
want you to be late.”
Page 954 of 1871

Michelle’s smile was a beautiful one, really but those

few days she just looked so radiant. She was so happy
and continuously talked of the future. I didn’t really
notice it then that trouble was looming but on my
side, I assumed my bestie just couldn’t wait for us to
start a new life together fresh after high school. We
had planned to study at the same institution and even
live together in a flat. I wouldn’t have been able to
stand living with someone I didn’t know at Res.
Alfred: “I am sorry to interrupt, girls, but I have a little

surprise for you guys straight after school. What time
will you be out today?”
Nombulelo: “Around 3pm.”
Alfred: (nodding) “Michelle, do your parents mind if

you spend a few hours after school with Nombulelo?
I mean we all know how they feel about her now so I
don’t want to get you into trouble.”
Alfred really knew too much about everyone, it was

quite alarming.
Page 955 of 1871

Michelle: “I will have to ask them and get back to
you.”
Alfred: “Okay, do so during break.”
She agreed. We said our goodbyes to him and went

to school. It was just a normal day and we had to
write our first round of essays for the year. Oddly,
Michelle’s chosen topic was “After school I plan on
doing…” It really felt like she poured her heart and
soul into it because by break time, she was already
done writing it and she read it out to me. She was
talking about our future and many years to come.
The weird part was that she didn’t include my unborn
child in the future.
Nombulelo: “Why didn’t you include “salkom” in the

essay?”
We called the baby that.
Michelle: “Oh, that’s because she won’t be born.”
Page 956 of 1871

She called my baby a she and she was so sure of what
she said it gave me goosebumps for a minute.
Nombulelo: “Why not?”
Michelle: “Because I just know it. She won’t be born.”
Nombulelo: “How do you know it’s a girl, Michelle?”
Michelle: “Girls, you mean.”
Nombulelo: “Michelle?”
Michelle: “You’re carrying twins.”
I was so lost and she looked like someone I didn’t

recognize for a minute. When I asked her to explain
herself, she completely ignored my question and
changed the topic.
Michelle: “I wonder what your Alfie has in store for us

today. I honestly cannot wait to spend some quality
time with you. God knows we truly need that. I
haven’t spent some time with you in a long while, you
know.”
Page 957 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Bathong (goodness) Michelle. Why are
you speaking like it has been a very long while or
you’re saying goodbye?”
Michelle: “I want to spend as much time as I can with

you. You just never know what tomorrow holds, my
friend. You do know I love you, right?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I do. And I love you too.”
She gave me the broadest smile and hugged me

tightly for a long while. It just felt so out of place, as if
Michelle was going through a lot and with her being
so nostalgic that day, I just didn’t pick anything up.
The day went by and it was finally after school. She
had told me that her parents were fine with her
spending a few hours with me that day but little did I
know that she was not being truthful. Alfred had
come to school with my brand new red car. He was
standing just outside of it waiting for us. When we
approached him, he threw the remainder of his
cigarette away.
Alfred: “Hey, golden girls.”
Page 958 of 1871

We greeted him and he hugged me. Oddly, he was
not wearing the same clothes he was that morning. I
thought he might have gone home to change, but he
smelled really differently. I knew his colognes – all of
them and the one he was wearing was most definitely
a new one and had a real feminine scent.
Nombulelo: “Did you go home to change?”
Alfred: (nervously) “No, why?”
Nombulelo: “You weren’t dressed like this this

morning.”
Alfred: “Oh, uh, I forgot I had gone to see Diesel. I

changed at his house.”
Nombulelo: “You have extra sets of clothes at his

house?”
I raised my eyebrow while looking at him. He was so

nervous he could hardly look me in the eye.
Something was not right. I could feel it in my gut.
Page 959 of 1871

Alfred: “Yes, ah, man, come on. I have a surprise for
you guys. Hop in.”
Michelle: (excitedly) “I can’t wait to see where we are

going.”
I was not focused on Michelle at that point. I needed

to hear it from Alfred’s own mouth of lies.
Nombulelo: “Is that also Diesel’s cologne?”
Alfred: (nervously) “O ra bjang (what do you mean)?”
Nombulelo: “I have never smelled it on you.”
He was so nervous I could tell my instincts were

right.
Michelle: “Ah, chomi (friend) come on. Don’t ruin a

good day. You guys can do this later – when I am not
around and in the sheets maybe. So, where are we
going, Alfred?”
I decided to listen to her and let it slide for that

moment.
Page 960 of 1871

Alfred: “Well, Michelle, I am glad at least someone is
excited for my surprise. Your friend over here told me
that she would like to go to the spa with you for her
birthday. So, I don’t know something in me said, “why
wait for her birthday?” So, I am taking you two out on
a pamper session.”
Michelle was so excited it was truly hard for her to

contain it while all the while I was just analyzing Alfie.
He looked so jittery. The closer I leaned towards him I
realized he smelled really fresh. He had taken a bath
before coming to see me so why did he lie? A lot of
things were going through my mind but I didn’t want
to ruin my day. We arrived at the spa and he had
booked us an entire full spa package. I had no idea
why he chose to do that on a school day but well, that
was Alfred for you.
Alfred: “I will see you ladies after three hours. Enjoy

and try not to miss me too much, okay?”
He greeted us goodbye while Michelle was just

basking in the ambience.
Page 961 of 1871

Michelle: “Oh, my friend. This is truly the best pre-
birthday gift you could ever wish for. I mean, come
on.”
Nombulelo: “Ag, he is probably just doing this

because he is guilty.”
Michelle: (shaking head) “It’s a girls day, so we’re not

going to talk about boys unless it’s spicy and juicy.
Now, come on. Take a few pics of me holding my
Mimosa.”
We both laughed though it was just juice. I took out

my phone and took a few photos of her. She even
asked the staff to take a few pictures of us. She was
not really flamboyant or forward like that, but that
day she was completely different. We started off by
changing into the complimentary gowns and slippers
and off we went to get a full body massage. It was
supposed to be a relaxing time for us to de-stress but
she just wanted to talk about the future the entire
time.
Page 962 of 1871

Michelle: “You know, one day when you are a lawyer, I
want you to think of me and remember this day. You
will need to pamper yourself at least once a day.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, please, friend. Me? A lawyer? You

must be joking.”
Michelle: “I am truly serious, you will be a lawyer and

you are going to marry one too.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, really? And what does that lawyer

look like?”
Michelle: “Incredibly handsome and quite shorter

than you.”
I laughed out so hard but I had no idea she was

actually prophesying.”
Nombulelo: (laughing) “And where will you be?”
She ignored that question once again and changed

the topic.
Page 963 of 1871

Michelle: “I hope we’re going to get hot stone therapy
as well. I saw it on Facebook at one point and it
looked so soothing.”
They finished with our massage and we indeed got

hot stone therapy. We spent some time in the Jacuzzi
and then got our facials and nails done with a
complimentary pedicure. She must have told me
about 10 times already that day that she loved me.
Michelle: “This is truly the best day of my life, friend.

It is actually so unforgettable that I want you to have it
in your heart forever.”
Nombulelo: “Come on, Michelle. You and I are going

to have lots of spa dates for years to come.”
Michelle: “I love you, you do know that, right?”
Nombulelo: “I love you too, babe.”
Alfred came to fetch us and Michelle just kept acting

weirder with each minute that went by.
Page 964 of 1871

Alfred: “Ladies, you both look so refreshed. I hope
you had a great time.”
Michelle: (smiling) “Yes, we did. Thank you so much

for today, Alfred. I really needed it. We both did.”
Alfred: “I am glad you had a great time.”
As Alfred opened the door, Michelle came up with an

odd request.
Michelle: “I know she’s your girl and that she always

sits in the front, but can she please sit with me in the
back? Just for today?”
Alfred didn’t see anything wrong with her request and

he agreed. I on the other hand started to feel a bit
anxious, scared for some reason. When I got in at the
back of the car she held my hand tightly and kept
smiling at me while looking at me in the eye. Alfred
was driving and with every other minute, she would
smile at me and ask, “we had a good time, didn’t we,
friend?” She rubbed my hand ocassionally, while my
heart just started beating a little faster.
Page 965 of 1871

Michelle: “Don’t be so scared, it’s not good for your
condition. You will be okay. Just relax. I will be at
peace.”
Nombulelo: “Michelle, what is wrong with you? Why

are you acting so weird?”
Michelle: “It’s my time – not yours.”
I became so anxious and confused.
Nombulelo: (scared) “Michelle, what do you mean?”
Michelle: “I love you.”
The entire time I failed to notice what was happening

in front with Alfred and the road. I didn’t even notice
the car speeding and failing to stop at one point. I just
saw Michelle grab me towards her as she took cover
right on top of me. I heard metals collide and
windows break. When I wanted to lift my head, I
couldn’t. I felt Michelle’s weight on top of me and
some pain on my thigh. I called out to her and then
to Alfred but neither of them responded to me. I
started feeling so scared and what made matters
Page 966 of 1871

worse was me feeling some wetness dripping rapidly
onto my shoulder. I touched my shoulder to see what
it was since I failed to lift my head up. When I looked
at my arm, I saw blood and I immediately knew that
Michelle was bleeding right on top of me.
Nombulelo: (crying) “Michelle! Michelle! Please,

don’t do this to me.”
The more I cried out to her, the more nauseated I felt.

I finally heard Alfred’s faint voice but I still couldn’t
move. I was trapped right underneath Michelle’s
body and I couldn’t see her. Alfred called out to me
from outside. He managed to get out so it seemed.
Alfred: “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
Nombulelo: “I am fine, just check on Michelle, please.

Is she okay? I am stuck. I can’t move.”
He kept quiet.
Nombulelo: “Alfred, please tell me my best friend is

okay!”
Page 967 of 1871

His silence was loud enough to pierce right through
my heart.
Nombulelo: (shouting) “Alfred! Please, say

something!”
His non-response was deafening enough. I just knew

that she was no more. I couldn’t even feel any
warmth of breath from her. My friend was gone, my
best friend was trying to say goodbye to me
throughout the entire day but I just failed to notice.
My life changed in an instant; my entire world went
silent and felt cold. I knew then that God was just
unfair. Her death threw me off and I was never the
same person again. Knowing what or rather who
actually killed her turned me into an even more
vicious person than I could have ever imagined myself
to be. Whenever I spoke of envy, my heart would feel
stone cold. It is amazing what lengths people are
willing to go to all in the name of envy.
As said in Job 5:2; “Surely vexation kills the fool but

jealousy slays the simple.”
Chapter 49
Page 968 of 1871

Proverbs 29:11 – “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but
a wise man quietly holds it back.”
The wait felt like eternity that day. I had to wait in the
curled position I was in right under Michelle while the
emergency response team were trying to cut out the
car. I could hear them say that it was a miracle I
survived because they couldn’t open the door. The
car was so smashed at the back, that it was actually
supposed to kill everyone seated there. Alfred walked
out without a scratch so they said. He kept calling out
to me and asking me if I was okay and if I could see
any blood. I mean sure, we all knew that Michelle
was gone but did he have to sound so heartless and
not ask about her? He was just asking about me but
deep down I knew he was too concerned about the
baby. After about 3 hours or so, they finally managed
to cut out the car and quickly removed Michelle’s
body. I felt so cramped up and Alfred alerted the
response team to take a quick look at me since I was
pregnant. I didn’t even realize just how badly soaked I
was in blood. My entire uniform and my hair was
soaked in her blood. When I took a closer look at my
hands and noticed how blood red they were, I could
Page 969 of 1871

feel the anxiety. The paramedics were about to place
me on the stretcher, but I jumped up.
Paramedic: “Ma’am, please we need to assist you and

make sure you’re alright.”
Nombulelo: “Don’t you dare touch me! I want to see

my friend!”
Alfred: “Baby, please. Just let them check you first.”
I screamed at them not even knowing what I looked

like.
Nombulelo: (screaming) “If you don’t let me see her –

I won’t let you take me anywhere! I have rights! Now,
let me see her!”
My body was aching but to me it felt like nothing

compared to what Michelle suffered. Alfred looked at
me, I was probably bewildered.
Alfred: “Let go of her. Allow her to see her. It’s fine.”
Page 970 of 1871

They let go of me and I rushed towards the stretcher
where she was laid into a body back. I stood there
while Alfred came rushing towards me and put a
blanket over my shoulders. I didn’t even feel the state
of shock my body was in. When that man unzipped
her body bag and opened it, I wanted to die right
there. I wanted to change positions with her and
have it be me on that stretcher. I could hardly
recognize her face. There was too much blood and
injury on her face while her body seemed so
disfigured. She let that happen to her only to protect
me. I could live with a lot but not that. She sacrificed
herself for me. My breathing started to change while
I was trying to process it all. I let out a loud wail and
nearly fell onto the ground. Alfred grabbed me and I
just heard a sudden panic in his voice. All the people
around me were speaking all at once. I couldn’t hear
what they were saying; their voices were fading away.
I was woken up by beeping sounds in the hospital.

When I looked around I saw I was hooked onto a drip
and monitoring machines. I saw a head sunken on my
bed and it was Alfred. He probably felt my hand
move towards his head because he was instantly up.
Page 971 of 1871

Alfred: “Hey, how are you feeling?”
His eyes were red and swollen. I could tell he was

crying. In my mind I was hoping that he would tell me
the baby was dead.
Nombulelo: “I’m okay, my body feels painful. Is the

baby okay?”
I looked at him in suspense hoping for the best

answer, but he just nodded in his own relief and my
heart sank.
Alfred: “Yes, the baby is okay.”
I cried silently, for the fact that I was still pregnant but
even more so because my best friend was gone. I
truly felt at fault. If she hadn’t been in that car with
me that day she would have been alive.
Nombulelo: (crying) “Michelle… she is really gone,

isn’t she?”
Alfred: (nodding) “I’m very sorry, my love.”
Page 972 of 1871

I didn’t even notice the entire day but Alfred was not
wearing the same clothes he was wearing when he
came to fetch me. It seemed as if he had changed yet
again.
Nombulelo: “How did the accident happen? I mean,

you’re a careful driver.”
Alfred: “I don’t know, but it seems as if the brakes

were tampered with.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t understand, it’s a brand new car.”
Alfred: “Yes, me neither. I have a lot of enemies, love.

I wouldn’t be surprised if it was one of them that did
this.”
I could tell I was being lied to blatantly.
Nombulelo: “When am I leaving this place?”
Alfred: “You can’t leave now. Your body was in so

much shock, the doctor is amazed as to how you’re
still pregnant.”
Page 973 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I need to go assist with the funeral
preparations at least. She was my best friend.”
Alfred: “No, love. Her parents were here. They don’t

want you or any of us there.”
Alfred: “They blame you – us. They say that we took

her under false pretenses and now their daughter is
dead.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t understand. Michelle said that

she spoke to her parents and asked them for
permission.”
Alfred: (shaking head) “She never did. Instead, she

switched off her phone so that they could not get
hold of her.”
I felt my heart sink. He told me how her parents were

so angry with me and wanted to tell me off. I was not
even welcome at her funeral, but that would be the
day they see me go mad.
Page 974 of 1871

Alfred: “The crew was here to see you. I told them to
come back later since you need the rest.”
I didn’t need rest, I needed to find out exactly what

happened to Michelle and I had an event to plan. Life
waited for no one.
Nombulelo: “Get the doctor to discharge me. I am

not about to sit here and feel sorry for myself. I have
school, the event and Michelle’s funeral to worry
about.”
Alfred: “You can’t do that, Lelo.”
Nombulelo: “Either you call him or I will discharge

myself.”
He could see that I was not taking any chances. He

went out to call the doctor and by the time he had
come back, I was fully dressed and ready to leave.
Private hospitals are like that, when you are not
critical they just find a reason to keep you.
Doctor: “Good day, Ms. Makeba. I see you are already

dressed and ready to go.”
Page 975 of 1871

Doctor: “As I advised your boyfriend here, it would

not be wise for you to leave just as yet. You are truly
lucky to have survived that car crash and the baby too
is lucky to even still be unharmed.”
Thank goodness Alfred had gotten me a set of clean

clothes. I could still smell the blood on those clothes
and I still had some in my hair.
Nombulelo: “I am no longer in danger am I? So,

please discharge me.”
He wanted to dispute but I ensured him that if I

needed to be hospitalized, I would be back. As
unhappy as he was with my request, he discharged
me. Alfred forced me onto a wheelchair and as much
as it annoyed me, I let him be. He wheeled me all the
way to the car, and I just didn’t want to go home.
Why would I have gone home only to cry myself to
sleep? I also could not bare to have Millicent see me
like that. When we got into the car, he didn’t expect
my request.
Page 976 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Take me to Zo’s house.”
Alfred: (shocked) “Why? You need to rest.”
Nombulelo: “No, there is no rest for me. We have

work to do. Besides, don’t you want to find out who
did that to us? We nearly died. Your unborn child
could have died.”
I sensed he was hiding something from me. He

looked down before answering me.
Alfred: “Yes, I hear you. Okay, let’s go then.”
I put on my seat belt and the entire time I just thought

of the day I had with Michelle. I hated crying in the
midst of people. I had to pull myself together and
show them that I was not the weakling they were
dying to see. When we got to Zoro’s house, I opened
my door myself leaving Alfred in disbelief.
Alfred: “Are you sure you’re fine?”
Nombulelo: “You can see me walking, can’t you?”
Page 977 of 1871

He had nothing else to say to me. We walked in hand
in hand and as always they were all present. They
were just a bit shocked to see me standing before
them. They were all laughing with the music playing,
but once they saw us they went quiet for a while.
Zoro switched off the music and came to hug me. It
was always as if they waited for him to do something
first before being the followers. Alfred was the master
mind but he never received so muh recognition.
Zoro: “Hey, how are you feeling? Are you even

supposed to be out of the hospital?”
Tshidi: “Yeah, shouldn’t you be at home, resting?”
Nombulelo: “I’m fine, guys, really. What’s rest going

to help with? We have a function to plan, isn’t it?”
Zoro: “Whoa, we thought we’d postpone it until you

get better.”
Nombulelo: “The last time I checked I wasn’t ill – I was

just nearly murdered.”
Page 978 of 1871

They went quiet for a while and I could see the
glances being exchanged. That told me they did know
something.
Priscilla: “Do you know who tampered with your

brakes?”
They gave Priscilla a look alerting me that she wasn’t

supposed to tell. Once again, I was being treated like
the idiot so I decided to play along.
Nombulelo: “No, how could we have? It was a brand

new car – my car but surely whoever it was wanted
me dead. Michelle was just collateral damage.”
Some cleared throats and indeed they did know

something.
Alfred: “Why don’t you sit down? I’ll get you

something to drink.”
I just nodded and saw him leaving to the kitchen

along with the guys, most probably going to gossip
while we girls were left alone.
Page 979 of 1871

Kea: “Oh, honey. I am so sorry you had to go through
that. It’s the price you pay sometimes for being
involved with men like these.”
Tshidi: “Yes, thank goodness your baby is still okay, I

mean can you just imagine what it would do to Alfred
if you were to lose the baby as well?”
She just had this condescending tone about her but I

was yet to deal with her.
Nombulelo: “Yes, well, whoever it is will know me.”
Kea: “Oh, no, honey, we don’t do that in this crew.

The men deal with all those who do us dirty – not us.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t care. My best friend was killed

for no apparent reason. If I want revenge, I will surely
seek it.”
Tshidi: (chuckling) “What could you possibly do?”
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Do you want to find out?”
Page 980 of 1871

Her grin faded and turned into shock while Priscilla
tried to calm the situation down.
Priscilla: “Okay, now is not the time to go around

throwing insults at one another. Tshidi, you are out of
line and you know it.”
Tshidi: “But I just – “
Priscilla: (interrupting) “I don’t want to hear it and I

bet Master mind also wouldn’t want to hear it.”
The guys walked in and overheard her.
Alfred: “Hear what?”
Priscilla: “Oh, uh, Tshidi was just going on and on

about Saturday’s event so I just felt it’s a bit
premature, you know.”
Diesel: “I agree.”
Nombulelo: “Actually, that’s exactly why I am here. I

want us to discuss the details.”
Page 981 of 1871

Zoro: (frowning) “Have you come up with everything
as of yet?”
Nombulelo: “It’s all in my head. Someone can just

write it down.”
Kea: “You mean like write down the minutes?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, Kea, how else will we run a business

one day should we not know how to even write down
minutes of meetings?”
I was getting so annoyed and snappy at her. Her

loyalty was clearly not directed towards me. She was
displaying signs of someone who really disliked me. I
could sense her annoyance and when Biggie told her
to do it, I could see her feeling even worse.
Biggie: “She’s right, babe. Write them down.”
I wasn’t about to nurse anyone’s feelings. I started

telling them exactly what needed to be done.
Nombulelo: “Okay, first thing is first; do you have a

venue for the event?”
Page 982 of 1871

They looked at one another and Alfred started
speaking.
Alfred: “Well, Zo’s house is ideal. I mean it is big

enough for all of the people.”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “Look, Bongani might be a

shady lawyer much like all the people who will be at
the event, but they are sophisticated business
people. They cannot be invited to someone’s
backyard. Sure, the house is great and the backyard is
fancy, but they need not know where we live in case
shit hits the fan. Remember, the real reason why we
want to associate ourselves with the likes of such
people is to get intel and get big jobs. Heists are old
fashioned and dangerous. We can do it – the Italian
job style.”
Zoro: “What did you have in mind, Lelo?”
Nombulelo: “You will need to book a big place, a

sophisticated place – one with a garden setup where
you can have a back drop. We will need a proper
menu, with waiters and of course, a theme.”
Page 983 of 1871

They seemed impressed while Tshidi was not so much
impressed but it wasn’t her show.
Alfred: “Keep talking babe.”
I called the shots and I wanted to show them that

they needed to up their game and learn a lot more.
Nombulelo: “These people need to know why they

are invited in the first place. So, we will eventually
need investors and they will form part of those
investors for our big business venture. Priscilla, find us
a good venue online, one that accommodate about
150 people.”
Zoro: “Wait, Bongani never said he would invite so

many people.”
Nombulelo: “You honestly think he doesn’t know that

many people? That man just made R400 000 easy
bucks off us a few days ago. The least he could do is
invite everyone he knows. It is either we go big or we
go home.”
Page 984 of 1871

They agreed with everything I did. While Priscilla was
looking up possible venues online, I was tasking Kea
and Tshidi with another job.
Nombulelo: “Tshidi and Kea will draw up a

sophisticated menu for the people. We need to have
welcome foods and drinks and a three course meal,
or preferably a buffet. We will be mingling with them
and Bongani will be doing all the networking for us.
His time of getting paid for free has come to an end.”
They jotted every single note down.
Nombulelo: “You guys know a lot of hot girls, don’t

you? You will need to find them – about 20 or so and
they will be serving champagne and drinks to our
people throughout the event.”
Biggie: “Ah, wa bona bjanong (you see now), you will

make us fight with our women.”
The guys laughed, but I was on business mode.
Nombulelo: “Bottom line is that we are all here

working towards the same goal. No low life girl will
Page 985 of 1871

steal anyone’s man here. We are working towards the
future and building an empire for our children.”
Crime was never so glamorous. They were dancing to

my tune.
Nombulelo: “The music will have to be sophisticated,

so I suggest we get a local band or something cheap
that will play relaxed music for them. Remember,
most of these people are very stuck up and will want
to feel their presence known. They drink 50 year old
scotch and dress like a million bucks.”
Of course Tshidi just had to be herself.
Tshidi: “You are speaking as if this is some kind of

Netflix movie, hun. Where on earth do you think we
will get the money from?”
I had never been in the presence of someone so

forward.
Nombulelo: “Well, if we could pitch in for your

wedding, then surely we can pitch in for this event as
well. Besides, it is not like it would even cost us R200
Page 986 of 1871

000 if we are good at budgeting. That’s what Kea is
for, right?”
She smiled so broadly as she felt some sense of

importance in the crew. Tshidi was not happy with my
response and with Zoro’s response, she probably felt
like dying.
Zoro: (impressed) “I fully agree with Nombulelo. I

mean, shouldn’t we chip in for something productive
anyway?”
Tshidi: “What are you saying, Zo? Are you saying that
our wedding is not preoductive?”
Zoro: “I am saying that the event will bring us more

clientele in order for us to pull off the job we want.
We want to build a legacy, baby. Weddings will always
be there and besides, there really is no reason for us
to spend half a million rand on our wedding.”
I had never seen someone so angry over a wedding.
Page 987 of 1871

Tshidi: (angrily) “Come on, Zo! This bitch just waltzes
in here and you all dance to her tune like that?! We
have been planning this wedding for months now!”
Yep
the nerve and audacity. She was planning her own
wedding while he was engaged to the mother of his
children. Alfred was not too pleased with Tshidi’s
attitude.
Alfred: (angrily) “Zo, I have told you countless times

about her. She is just bad news. Puse was enough
drama. We seriously can’t have this and we can’t
have another one of us calling our wives bitches. Do
something or else I will.”
That was the very second sign I saw that Alfred and
Zoro were going to drift apart because of that girl.
She was seriously getting in the way of years of
brotherhood. None of the other guys were
impressed with her either. Zoro felt like he was put on
the spot especially since everyone was staring at the
two of them.
Zoro: (calmly) “To the bedroom. Now!”
Page 988 of 1871

I wasn’t too sure if she too was going to get a beating
like Puse would have but she wasn’t my main
concern. I didn’t want to leave until we had a solid
venue and everything was finalized. Around 7pm that
evening, we were done finalizing our event. Our
theme was Sophia Town; Priscilla came up with that
brilliant idea. I offered to do the invitations since
Tshidi was talentless. I didn’t feel like trusting her with
anything that big as she would have probably fucked
up the one thing she was supposed to be good at.
Alfred and I drove to his house. I didn’t want to get
home and have them question me about everything
that happened on that day. I called Millicent to check
up on her and touch base, and she seemed more
worried about me than herself. She sounded quite
tired and I couldn’t get Alfred’s words of that morning
out of my head. I tried to rewind all the events of that
day and I still could not figure out what went wrong;
Alfred came to fetch me twice wearing clothes I had
never seen before. They didn’t seem new to me at
all. He didn’t smell like himself either. He told me to
take a bath while he went out for some food. I
scrolled through my phone with tears in my eyes as I
recalled my last conversation with Michelle. I might
Page 989 of 1871

have been distressed but then I remembered; that
odd text message I received from an unknown or
rather a non-existent number. I decided to call the
one person who would know all about that.
Priscilla: “Hey.”
Nombulelo: “Hey, can you talk?”
Priscilla: “Sure, Diesel is out to get some food for us.”
That sounded quite coincidental.
Nombulelo: “You can trace a number, right?”
Priscilla: “Most of the time, yes. Normally I just find

out who the IMEI number is registered to. It doesn’t
normally help in some instances as people buy sim
cards from Pakistani shops that are already registered
by other people.”
Nombulelo: “Okay, I received a message from

someone just last night and when I called the number
back, I was told that it was non-existent.”
Page 990 of 1871

Priscilla: “Hmm, I see. Forward me the number. I will
let you know once I am done.”
I did so and she called me back within minutes.
Nombulelo: “Are you winning?”
Priscilla: “What did the message say?”
Nombulelo: “It was just a threat telling me that if they

can’t have Alfred then no one can. Why do you ask?”
Priscilla: (sigh) “I think we need to talk – in person.”
Nombulelo: “Are you going to tell me who the

number belongs to or not?”
Priscilla: “I will – in person though – not over the

phone. There’s something you should know. We’ll
talk tomorrow.”
Nombulelo: “But how? I am supposed to go to

school.”
Priscilla: “I will find a way to see you.”
Page 991 of 1871

She hung up and left me hanging just like that. I was
left frustrated but knowing Priscilla she would not
have hidden something serious from me. If anything,
she really wanted to tell me in person. It left me quite
anxious but I let it be. Alfred came back with some
food and even though I was not very appetized I
chose to eat anyway. Nothing made sense any more;
I was supposed to live a life without Michelle. How
would I even get through my very last year of school?
We went to bed and I was not even in the mood to be
touched. He tried to get into my pants, but I just
couldn’t and he understood. I just couldn’t get the
hang of that cologne smell off him. The following
morning came and I wanted to go to school, then I
thought of all the pity looks I would receive from
everyone. I had to go in any case because I needed to
get my certificate. Alfred took me home to freshen
up and get a fresh pair of my uniform. He got rid of
the one I had worn the previous day. Millicent was
gone already and Masabatha was awake with the
kids. We greeted one another briefly and I told her I’d
speak to her in the afternoon. Nairobi was still in her
bedroom. After I finished getting dressed, it felt just
bitter-sweet to stare myself in the mirror that day. I
Page 992 of 1871

had gotten rid of most of the blood that was in my
hair the previous evening, but I could still smell it.
When I left my bedroom, I bumped into Nairobi. She
looked at me with such disgust – understandably.
Nairobi: “Hmm, I heard your friend died. Are you sure

you’re not the one who killed her? It seems as if
you’re are such bad karma, hey.”
I chose peace and ignored her. She was dressed in

her uniform. It had been a while since I actually saw
her going to school but then, everyone had their own
choice. When I approached Alfred’s car, I noticed
Thapelo’s taxi waiting a short distance away from my
house and Nairobi was headed towards that
direction. He was still taking her to school I
supposed. I got into Alfred’s car and he dropped me
off as usual.
Alfred: “I will see you later, okay? Call me if you need

anything.”
Page 993 of 1871

He kissed me goodbye and I faced the very first day of
reality without Michelle. She wasn’t in the car with
me that morning and I was walking into the gate all
alone without her bubbly face next to me. Everyone
greeted me with so much sorrow in their eyes. I just
knew they felt sorry for me. I just kept walking. I felt
the piercing looks and the whispers. I was called into
the headmaster’s office immediately as per
procedure. I felt it was rather unnecessary but well.
Headmaster: “Thank you for coming, Nombulelo. I

didn’t think you’d even make it to school today.”
Nombulelo: “Well, I have to get an education.”
Headmaster: “Yes, well, I am truly sorry for your loss.

We kow that you two were the very best of friends for
as long as you can even remember.”
I just nodded in agreement forcing myself not to cry.
Headmaster: “Miss E suggested I speak to you first.

We would like to have an assembly this morning in
remembrance of Michelle – just a short one. I know,
Page 994 of 1871

you don’t like attention and you wouldn’t want any
focus on you.”
Nombulelo: “It’s fine, really. I just have one request.”
Headmaster: “Of course.”
Nombulelo: “May I watch from my class? I don’t want

to be in the middle of a crowd right now.”
Headmaster: “Of course.”
I nodded and walked out. It was very thoughtful of

them to even give me a heads up. When I entered
my classroom I noticed the looks of pity from my
fellow class mates. Thank goodness Miss E was there
and she asked them to leave so that she could have a
moment with me. As soon as they left, she hugged
me really tight and gave me words of wisdom. I mean
sure, when grieving everyone will tell you the same
thing over and over; “it will be okay, not now but you
will heal”. I had had enough of rest in peace to last
me a life time. There I was; the sad orphan who had
just lost the one person who understood her. I
explained to her that I didn’t want to be around the
Page 995 of 1871

assembly area and she was okay with it. I could hear
them all singing and some bursting into tears.
Michelle was nice to everyone though she was only
friends with me. They said some of the sweetest
things I had ever imagined about her. The one thing
that stood out to them was her infectious smile and
laughter. That was something I would never forget. I
tried by all means to stop myself from crying but oh,
those damn hormones got the better of me. I cried
all alone and felt so much guilt within me. Her last
words “don’t worry, it’s my time” really hit me. How
could she do that? The more I thought of it, the more
I was convinced that it was murder – it had to be.
While I was crying all alone in my class room, I heard
the office call me from the intercom. I thought to
myself what I had done this time, only to get the
shock of my life. I saw a young lady sitting in the foyer,
with sunglasses on and I could tell from a mere
distance that it was Priscilla. When I met the admin
lady, she told me that my aunt had come to fetch me.
I said thank you and walked out. When we walked
out, I realized she had come in an Uber.
Nombulelo: “Why an Uber instead of your car?”
Page 996 of 1871

Priscilla: “You forget that your man has eyes and ears
everywhere, hey.”
It was Wednesday that day and Michelle was

probably going to be buried that weekend. I hadn’t
heard anything since I hadn’t gone to see her family
yet. We drove until we reached a rather unfamiliar
restaurant in the outskirts of Benoni.
Nombulelo: “Kgole so le wena (so far though)?”
Priscilla: “I have been around long enough to know

that betrayal doesn’t get swallowed well by the crew.
Take this plastic bag and change into those clothes. I
will meet you at Table 5.”
I went into the restaurant and headed straight to the

toilet. I changed into the outfit she had brought for
me. Thank goodness it was a jean and top with
sneakers. I was not in the mood for a dress. She even
had a pair of sunglasses in there for me as well. I
placed my uniform in the plastic bag and met her
right at Table 5 having a cocktail.
Page 997 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Don’t restaurants serve alcohol just after
11?”
Priscilla: “Money talks, honey. I ordered you an

orange juice. I hope that’s fine.”
I nodded in agreement and my drink was brought to

me.
Priscilla: (to the waiter) “Please come take our order

in ten minutes.”
The waiter nodded and walked away. I took a sip of

my juice and looked at her in suspense. I expected
her to jump straight to the topic at hand.
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Are you ready to talk now?”
Priscilla: (chuckling briefly) “You are so persistent.

Okay, I traced the number and it belongs to Gino.”
I frowned as I stared at her.
Nombulelo: “Who the hell is Gino?”
Page 998 of 1871

Priscilla: “That’s one of Pulane’s brother’s guys. He
used to deliver drugs for him.”
Nombulelo: “Why on earth would he send me a

message warning me to stay away from Alfred?”
Priscilla: “You’re smarter than that, Lelo. Pulane sent

you that message using his phone and then got rid of
the number.”
My heart started beating a little faster.
Nombulelo: “She’s too damn old for that. Why would

she be sending me messages like that? Unless…”
I couldn’t even finish my sentence and then she

started telling me everything.
Priscilla: “About a few weeks ago, when Puse’s funeral

was being planned, we’d go to the house to find out if
all was in order since well Zoro was in charge of it and
all. Pulane was just acting strange and was all over
Alfred. What surprised me was the way he
responded. She would ocassionally touch him and he
would smile and they’d often disappear for a while
Page 999 of 1871

and come back. I just knew that they were still at it
but I had no proof, until one night he came back to us
smelling just like her. She has a distinct smell, I mean
that cologne is most definitely feminine. I didn’t
bother confronting him because he was going to tell
Diesel and the rest that I was onto him. And then, just
yesterday he came to Zo’s house with your brand new
car. He boasted to us telling us that he spoiled his
woman with a brand new ride. He didn’t stay that
long even when he received a strange call that left
him smiling. I assumed it was you. He left and I never
saw him again until he called us telling us that he had
just gotten into an accident. What surprised me was
what he said to Zo at the hospital. You know I am
infamous for spacing out during conversations, but
yesterday I heard him well. He said “I am telling you,
man. That bitch tampered with my breaks while I was
sleeping.” I am no fool; he obviously didn’t take her to
his house – you’d notice but he did go to her house
and went there with your car.”
I started feeling like I was getting hot flushes.
Priscilla: “I’d always hear rumours of Master mind and

Pulane still fucking but I never paid attention to it,
Page 1000 of 1871

really. It explains why she has always been so
disrespectful towards all the girls he has been with
right after you. The accident explains itself; Alfred
came out without a scratch and your best friend died
in the process. It should have been you.”
I felt a gut-wrenching pain in my stomach causing me

to wince out in pain.
Nombulelo: (wincing) “Aah!”
Priscilla: “Are you okay?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “I’m fine, I just feel some pain

in my stomach.”
Priscilla: “I’m sorry. Here I am stressing you.”
Nombulelo: “It’s okay, if anything I want this baby out

of me.”
Priscilla: “I understand.”
Page 1001 of 1871

Nombulelo: “It should have been me, honestly. My
friend got caught up in my mess and now she is
gone.”
Priscilla: “I’m really sorry.”
Nombulelo: “I can’t let her get away with it.”
Priscilla: “What are you going to do about it?”
Nombulelo: “I am going to make her pay for it.”
Priscilla: “You’ve never killed someone, Nombulelo.

Don’t even dare to try.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t have to do the killing. Alfred will

regret the day he messed with me. He looked me in
the eye and lied to me about her. If it hadn’t been for
him sleeping with her my friend would still be alive
today.”
Priscilla: “Calm down. I know how you feel believe

me. I’ve been through it all. That’s just how it is in
this crew; these men are selfish bastards and if you do
it to one of them, you wouldn’t even live to regret it.”
Page 1002 of 1871

I had a major plan and I asked her to help me with
me. Gone was the nice Nombulelo who just beat
people up and let them get away. She took a life and
so, I had to take from her as well. As they say; an eye
for an eye, right? I felt so hurt, Pulane didn’t know me
well enough to orchestrate such. She was a vengeful
person all because of a man. I could feel my stomach
pains getting a bit worse but they felt like severe
period pains.
Priscilla: “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I just feel really sharp pains in my

stomach.”
Priscilla: “Perhaps I should take you home.”
She ordered a take away instead and requested an

Uber to take us home. The pains were bothering me
so I decided to sleep immediately after being dropped
off at home. Masabatha was out, probably had gone
to the clinic with the babies. I felt like I was sleeping
for eternity only to be woken up by Alfred gently
shaking me.
Page 1003 of 1871

Nombulelo: “How did you get in here?”
Alfred: “Millicent opened for me. What’s wrong? Are

you alright?”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “Not really. I had to go

home. I’ve been having stomach cramps all morning.”
I could tell by the look on his face that he started

panicking.
Alfred: “Let me call my doctor.”
Nombulelo: “No, don’t do that. I have had enough of

doctors to last me a life time. No doctors.”
Alfred: “This is my baby we’re talking about, Lelo.”
Nombulelo: “I am aware of that but I just need you to

stop fussing, please.”
Alfred: “Okay, but have you checked yourself? Are

you bleeding?”
Page 1004 of 1871

Alfred: “Let me check.”
He rushed towards my pants which annoyed me.
Nombulelo: “Stop it, I’m fine.”
Alfred: “Okay but let me just see if you’re being

honest.”
Honesty, something he clearly didn’t know the

meaning of. Could he even spell it? I was so irritated
that I took off my pants and showed him my panties.
Nombulelo: “See?”
I put my pants back on flippantly but he still wasn’t

convinced.
Alfred: “Okay, but you are going to my house.”
Nombulelo: “Are you asking me or instructing me?”
Page 1005 of 1871

Alfred: “It’s not up for discussion, Nombulelo. I don’t
want to argue with you.”
I was so irritated more especially with Masabatha for

letting him in. How could she do that because he just
wouldn’t leave me alone. He watched my every move
and ensured that I packed a clean set of uniform for
the next day.
Nombulelo: “I will meet you in the car, I just need to

speak to Millicent first.”
Alfred: “Okay, then. Hand me your clothes and phone

so I can know you won’t lock me out.”
I was so bored I nearly threw them at him. He walked

out and I knocked on Millicent’s door before opening.
I found her lying in bed while on her phone.
Nombulelo: “Hey. Can I come in?”
Millicent: “Sure.”
Nombulelo: “How are you?”
Page 1006 of 1871

Millicent: (sigh) “I’m okay, just school and life you
know.”
Nombulelo: “Do you want to talk about it?”
Millicent:” (shaking head) “No, I should be asking you

how you’re holding up.”
I could tell she was hiding something from me but I

was learning not to push.
Nombulelo: “I am getting there.”
Millicent: (nodding) “I am really sorry about Michelle.

She was legit the only friend you had. I can’t imagine
what you’re going through.”
Nombulelo: (teary) “Yes, well, such is life. I am

heading out. If you need anything, do let me know,
please.”
Millicent: “Sure thing. We just need to get someone

to come and assist us with the babies. Masabatha
has two weeks left.”
Page 1007 of 1871

I had forgotten about that for a brief moment. The
shots just never stopped. Each time I was trying to
get through one, another blow came right at me.
Nombulelo: “I will sort that out, don’t you worry

about it. I promise.”
She nodded and I said my goodbyes. Alfred was

smoking and threw the cigarette away once he saw
me approaching. I got into the car and as he was
about to start, I stopped him.
Nombulelo: “Take me to Michelle’s house.”
Alfred: “You can’t go there.”
Alfred: “I told you, they blame you – us. And besides

you’re pregnant. You’re attracting bad omens by
going to funerals while pregnant.”
Nombulelo: “That’s odd, wasn’t I pregnant with my

mother’s funeral? What about Puse’s funeral? Or
was that a special circumstance?”
Page 1008 of 1871

He could tell I just wasn’t having it. He proceeded in
silence and indeed took me straight to Michelle’s
house. The tent was already erected outside of the
house and I saw a few people go in and out. The
moment I arrived at the gate, I just heard someone
shout at me.
Woman: “Don’t you dare take another step into this

yard!”
She looked a lot like Michelle’s father so I assumed

that she was his mother. Alfred came and stood right
beside me.
Nombulelo: “Mme (Ma), I just came to see if

Michelle’s parents are alright and if they need
anything for the funeral. I am her best friend after
all.”
Woman: “You have no right being here! Didn’t your

thug boyfriend tell you?! You are not welcome here!
Let me see you set foot here ever again and I will set
you alight!”
Page 1009 of 1871

She was cursing me non-stop causing me so much
pain. I loved Michelle, but clearly they had already
judged me. I was not even given a chance to explain
what happened that day but I was already to be
blamed. I couldn’t bring myself not to go to her
funeral, no matter their feelings for me. Her death
had turned my heart into stone and I wasn’t bothered
about anyone’s feelings. I just took one more look at
that woman and Alfred pulled me towards the car.
Alfred: “Let’s go, baby, please.”
I felt those stabbing pains again but I was not one to

succumb to pain. I also didn’t want to alert Alfie
because he was just going to take me straight to his
annoying dodgy doctor. He got us some food on the
way to his house and we got in. I couldn’t even
stomach any food as the pain was progressing but I
didn’t want to show him that I was still in pain.
Nombulelo: “I am going to lie down for a little bit.”
Alfred: “Okay, I will come and join you.”
Page 1010 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Rather not. Go and find out if the
invitations were printed out and if Bongani collected
them, please.”
Alfred: “You shouldn’t be thinking of work now, Lelo.”
Nombulelo: “Life stops for no one, Alfie. Please go.”
Alfred: “Fine, but I will be back soon.”
He kissed my forehead and the moment he left I

headed down to the kitchen to look for a painkiller. I
didn’t feel anything come out of me, so I assumed it
was just stress. I found some Tramadol and just took
it. I was not even in the least concerned about the
side effects. I was not going to be a mother, that’s for
sure. I dozed off after about 15 minutes. After
about two hours I was woken up by Alfred being
frantic all over again.
Alfred: “Lelo! Lelo, wake up!”
Nombulelo: “Eish, Alfred I am sleeping. Can’t you

see?”
Page 1011 of 1871

Alfred: “You’re bleeding.”
It was as if I had heard my most favourite song but I

had to act shocked. I honestly didn’t think it would
happen without me inducing it. I jumped up and the
pain came back, but it wasn’t as severe as before. I
saw blood where I was sleeping. I bled all over his
white sheets, what a pity. He looked so scared and
dialed someone on his phone.
Nombulelo: “Who are you calling?”
Alfred: “I am calling my doctor, who do you think?”
I acted worried while he was just being frantic. Thank

goodness the doctor was unreachable so Alfred
suggested we go to hospital. I grabbed a towel and
wrapped it around my waist. He drove in such panic
while I was just smiling deep down. If I believed in
God at the time, it surely would have been a blessing
in disguise for me. He ensured that he rush me
straight to the Emergency Room. He got out and
refused to let me walk.
Page 1012 of 1871

Alfred: (shouting) “Please help! She’s bleeding and
pregnant.”
A wheelchair was wheeled straight towards me and I

was placed on it and rushed to the first available
room. There was no time to make me change, but I
could tell that I was bleeding for quite some time.
They removed my pants and put a pad on me and
started straight with the sonogram.
Nurse: “How far along are you?”
I could barely answer because Alfred was doing all the

talking for me.
Alfred: “Nearly 5 weeks.”
The nurse nodded and as soon as she put the

machine on I could see the look on her face change to
a somber one.
Nurse: “I’ll get the doctor for you.”
Within minutes the doctor arrived. Alfred was

holding onto my hand for dear life. When the doctor
Page 1013 of 1871

came and confirmed what the nurse saw, Alfred
became so broken. He was utterly shattered and I
saw him break down.
Doctor: “I’m sorry, but you’re miscarrying and by the

looks of the sacks both of them did not survive.”
Alfred: “Wait a minute, what do you mean both?”
Doctor: “I mean you’re losing both twins. I thought

you knew.”
Alfred: (crying) “No, we didn’t.”
Doctor: “I’m very sorry for your loss. The nurses will
be with you shortly to get you cleaned up and draw
some blood for further tests.”
I could tell he was broken and had it been before

what I knew then I would have probably felt sorry for
him. I just didn’t want to feel pity for him at all. He
did me dirty – more than once and that loss was
nothing compared to what I felt. Had it not been for
him sleeping around his twins might have actually
been alive. He had no idea what I had in store for him
Page 1014 of 1871

and that Pulane. He and his little crew driven by
testosterone would get to see the real me – the angry
Nombulelo. I wanted to inflict as much pain as they
did to me. Had Michelle been there, she would have
told me all about the Lord being against all vengeance
but it was high time I took karma into my own hands.
As said in Deutoronomy 19:21 – “Your eye shall not

pity. It shall be life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth,
hand for hand, foot for foot.”
Chapter 50
Exodus 21: 23-25 – “But if there is harm, then you
shall pay life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand
for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for
wound, stripe for stripe.”
Straight after the nurse drew my blood, I asked her for

discharge forms leaving the grief-stricken Alfred in
shock.
Alfred: “You can’t leave. You are in no state to go

home.”
Nombulelo: “Alfie, I know you’re hurt believe me I am

hurt too.”
Page 1015 of 1871

Alfred: “Are you? Are you really?! Why do I get the
feeling you did this on purpose?”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Excuse me?”
Alfred: “You didn’t want this baby in the first place

and you haven’t even shed one tear – not one!”
I got so upset with him, and his level of entitlement

that I refrained from losing it. I wanted to burst right
there and then, but it would have been a bad move.
He would have upgraded his surveillance and I
needed to gain his trust. I needed him on my side.
Nombulelo: “Alfie, come on. I really don’t have the

energy for this. I just lost my very first pregnancy. Can
we do this another time?”
Alfred: (sigh) “Okay. I’ll go sign the papers. I will meet

you in the foyer.”
As broken as he was, I felt no pain on his behalf. I

walked out and found him waiting for me. He took
my hand in his and we went straight to his house. I
Page 1016 of 1871

didn’t want to talk any further, so I let him grieve and
be. I obviously couldn’t go to school the following
day, so I told my teacher that I’d be at school the
following Monday. He slept with a very heavy heart
that night while I just slept like a baby. I had my very
first dream of Michelle ever since she passed on. She
was dressed in all white and looked so angelic. Her
smile looked even better.
Michelle: “Nombulelo.”
Nombulelo: “My friend. Is this really you? Oh, you

look so beautiful.”
Michelle: (smiling) “That’s because I am at peace.”
Nombulelo: “How can you just accept your death at

such a young age? I am so sorry you had to die for
me.”
Michelle: “It was going to happen either way. It was

not your time to die.”
Page 1017 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I just wish you had given us more time.
What will I do now without you by my side? What
about our plans for the future?”
Michelle: “I will be here to guide you whenever you

need me. You have a duty to fulfill my friend. God is
not done with you just yet. He told me way before my
death that I was going to die. I just knew that my time
on this earth was up. I knew everything that was
going to happen. I saw it happen before it actually
happened. He told me about your twins and that
they wouldn’t be born.”
Nombulelo: “If there really is a God as you always say,

then he has favourites clearly. He is unjust and unfair.
I don’t believe in a God.”
Michelle: “Oh, but you will believe in Him when the

time is right. You will see miracles, my love. I am with
you every step of the way.”
Nombulelo: “I am not ready to let go of you.”
Michelle: “You will have to try. I love you.”
Page 1018 of 1871

Just like that, she was gone. I was woken up by Alfred
shaking me once again. That tendency of his just
made me mad.
Alfred: “You were calling out for Michelle.”
Nombulelo: “Was I? I dreamt of her.”
I could feel myself becoming a little teary and he held

me close regardless.
Alfred: “Would you like me to make you a cup of

warm milk?”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “No, I’m okay.”
Alfred: “Okay. I’m going to smoke just outside the

balcony. Try to get some sleep.”
He kissed my forehead and retreated to the balcony.

It was just amazing how I could feel her presence right
there. I just didn’t understand why all the bad had to
happen to me. The following day came and it was
Page 1019 of 1871

Friday, the day before the event and one day before
the funeral. I woke up with a heavy heart but the
show had to go on regardless. I found Alfred had
made us some breakfast and despite my heavy heart,
there was always room for revenge. He handed me a
cup of coffee.
He nodded and started eating.
Nombulelo: “I was thinking we should get proper

custom made outfits for tomorrow, you know. I mean
we’ll be mingling with the best of the best.”
Alfred: (nodding) “I’ll make a call to the Boutique and

we can stop by later on today.”
Nombulelo: “I was also thinking that you should invite

Pulane.”
He nearly chocked on his eggs.
Alfred: “What for?”
Page 1020 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Well, I mean I didn’t get to meet her
properly, you know. And besides, she is always going
to be part of your life whether I like it or not.
Eventually I will have to meet the boys, that’s if you
still have plans on us getting married. I don’t want to
jump the gun, you know.”
Alfred: “Don’t be silly. You and I will get married as

discussed.”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Okay, so what do you say?

Will you invite her?”
Alfred: “I don’t know, I doubt it’s her style.”
Nombulelo: “I tell you what, invite her over for lunch.”
Alfred: “I don’t want her in my house.”
Nombulelo: “Okay then. Let’s go to a restaurant for

lunch or something just so we could all get to formally
be introduced to one another. She can decide if she
wants to come to the event or not.”
Page 1021 of 1871

He could tell that I was not backing down and one
more response of resistance from him would have
sparked quite some suspicion on my side.
Alfred: “I will hear what she says.”
Nombulelo: “I know you have a lot on your plate.

Give me her number and I will call her.”
I had my phone in my hand and ready to dial. He was

so nervous sweat was starting to become visible on
his forehead. He just gave me one long look before
he took out his phone reluctantly. He scrolled for a
long while.
Nombulelo: “Are you finding the number?”
Alfred: “Yes.”
He gave me her number thinking I’d save it and call

her later, but no – I had other plans. I dialed
immediately with him right there.
Alfred: “What are you doing? She’s not a morning

person.”
Page 1022 of 1871

He knew her in and out for someone who claimed
she was just worse than Puseletso.
Nombulelo: “I promise I’ll be quick. She took a while

to answer; she was most probably asking herself what
I wanted from her at that ghastly morning hour.
Pulane: “Pulane hello?”
Nombulelo: “Oh, hey Pulane. It’s Nombulelo, Alfred’s

girlfriend.”
She was a bit shocked. I could sense by her

reluctance to answer me further.
Nombulelo: “Hello? Pulane, are you still there?”
Pulane: “Yes I am. What do you want?”
Nombulelo: “I just wanted to ask you out for lunch.

You and I haven’t been formally introduced to one
another you know.”
Page 1023 of 1871

Pulane: (chuckling) “Do you realize what time it is
now?”
I knew she was going to start insulting me so I put her

on speaker immediately and as expected the insults
came flying.
Pulane: (angrily) “I thought I made the message clear

at my sister’s funeral already! You humiliated me in
front of my family and friends you flat assed bitch!
Alfred doesn’t love you – he only has love for one
person and one person only! And that person is me!
You are just nothing but a pawn in his game. Why
else would he go for a serious downgrade like you?
Stop wasting your time, love. Didn’t you get my text
message clear the other day? Unless you want to end
up like your darling friend six feet under.”
Alfred was sweating profusely. The more he wiped

the sweat off his forehead, the more it erupted.
Nombulelo: (clearing throat) “Pulane, I have Alfred

here with me and you’re on loud speaker.”
Page 1024 of 1871

Her tone suddenly changed. I could tell that she was
guilty as charged and he knew all about it. What
bothered me was the fact that he knew the pain she
had caused me, the pain she had caused the both of
us yet he wasn’t doing anything to punish her. Why
was that?
Pulane: “Oh, ag man, I am really sorry for what I said.

It’s just that – I’m not a morning person you know.”
Nombulelo: “Yes, well, your ex right here did mention

that. We have an event coming up tomorrow and I
was just telling him how I’d love it if you were there.”
Pulane: “Oh, I will see hey. I am not big on fancy

stuff.”
Nombulelo: “Well, you can decide later on. So, what

do you say? About the lunch today?”
Pulane: “Will it only be the three of us there?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, do you want someone else

present?”
Page 1025 of 1871

Pulane: “No, that’s okay. You will text me the details
then.”
Nombulelo: “Sure thing. Bye.”
I hung up and smiled at Alfred.
Nombulelo: “She’s game.”
Alfred: “I heard.”
Nombulelo: “I’m going to take a shower. I have a lot

to prepare for; like the event and more especially
Michelle’s funeral.”
He just nodded and continued eating. I had the upper

hand; I had her number and that was all I needed
since I had someone like Priscilla in my corner. I took
one long bath and even though the bleeding was still
there, I was glad I no longer had pain. Alfred was still
nowhere to be seen. He was most probably trying to
talk Pulane out of the entire meeting but her being
the bitch she was, she wanted to see exactly what I
was up to. Once I was done, I still found him in the
same depressed position I left him in. So, I decided to
Page 1026 of 1871

show him some kindness and love. I hugged him
from behind and kissed his neck.
Nombulelo: “I know I don’t tell you this enough, Alfie,

but I am really grateful to have you in my life. You
have been there for me in more ways that I could ever
imagine. You would have been an excellent father to
our children, I just know it. We will try again one day
when we are married. I do love you, you do know
that, don’t you?”
He was rather surprised but it worked because he

turned around and held me.
Alfred: “Do you really mean that?”
Nombulelo: “Of course I do.”
Alfred: “I may have my faults, Lelo, but you are the

one I want to be with. I may have fucked up once too
many times, but my love for you remains unscathed.
You and I can take over the world one day. You are
the ying to my yang and I don’t see myself living life
without you. Promise me one thing.”
Page 1027 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Anything.”
Alfred: “Promise me that you won’t leave me.”
That was a promise I wasn’t willing to make

wholeheartedly but then, promises do get broken
every now and again, don’t they?
Nombulelo: “You have my word. I won’t leave you. I

could never leave you.”
It seemed as if my response made him weak and he

became at ease.
Alfred: “Let me go take a shower, I’ll meet you shortly

afterwards.”
He kissed me and went upstairs. He left his phone on

the kitchen table and I thought of going through it but
as expected it required his face and fingerprint to
unlock it. I just left it there and scrolled through my
Facebook. So many people were talking about
Michelle on Social Media and the rumours they were
posting about me were just awful, so I decided that I’d
make it a point to make them talk even more at the
Page 1028 of 1871

funeral. How dare they defile our memories by
talking about me like that? Alfred came down looking
quite nice as always. I was dressed in a long, Gucci
Maxi dress that showed my bossom quite well.
Alfred: (smiling) “Are you ready to leave?”
It was as if I was speaking to a completely different

person. The Alfred that I met, the loving and gentle
Alfred.
Nombulelo: “Yes, let’s go.”
We got into the car and proceeded to the chosen

venue where our lunch was scheduled. He kept
kissing my hand while driving just like the good old
days. He opened the door for me as usual and we
walked in and in hand with him being all over me. We
were first to arrive at the restaurant and we ordered
something to drink; appletizer for me and scotch for
him. After about half an hour, I saw Pulane walking in
dressed like nothing less than a porn star. Her breasts
were overbearing and one could really see the tip of
her nipple. The dress she wore was so tight, I had no
idea how she was even walking in it. Alfie was sitting
Page 1029 of 1871

right next to me, so when she walked in I had to
analyze him using my side eye to try and catch the
vibe. She waved at us with a wide smile as she walked
in while all the attention from other men and women
was on her. I noticed Alfred clench his jaw and he
started adjusting his pants. I felt a little hurt. Did he
really just get a boner while I was sitting right next to
him?
Pulane: (smiling) “Hey, guys. So sorry I am late. I had

a few errands to run.”
When she sat on that couch I could see her breasts

clearly and it was clear that she wanted to seduce
him. I felt so jealous, I mean Alfred was very much
attracted to me but she was clearly a bombshell for
him to start feeling so uncomfortable. He moved a lot
closer to me and started touching me even more
frequently.
Nombulelo: “Oh, it’s alright. We literally just arrived

half an hour ago. Would you like something to
drink?”
Page 1030 of 1871

Pulane: “Oh, yes. One cannot say no to a glass of
champagne, right?”
She ordered an entire bottle. I analyzed her more

clearly that day and I noticed her face looked a lot
older than she actually was. She clearly had a “phuza
(drunkard) face. She hid it with all that make up.
When she started speaking a lot more, I could smell
the alcohol on her breath before she even took a sip
of the champagne she ordered. So, she was a
hardcore drinker. Alfred was quite uncomfortable,
which explained why he was all over me like that.
Pulane: “Firstly, I’d honestly like to apologize. I mean

my behaviour towards you during our first encounter
was not right. I should not have done what I did and if
I were you, I’d have kicked my ass too.”
Her entire apology felt so rehearsed. I couldn’t help

but feel as if they were both making a fool out of me.
Nombulelo: “Oh, I see. I am sorry too, I guess.”
Page 1031 of 1871

Pulane: “Really. I mean you are the future wife of my
children’s father. We have to get along one way or the
other
don’t you think?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I agree.”
Pulane: “I mean, you may be young and all, but Alfred

adores you. He just can’t stop talking about you. I
want whatever you fed him, baby girl.”
She let out a slight chuckle, a rather fake and

condescending chuckle. Did she really believe I was
falling for that? The more she spoke the more I felt
pelt up anger. I could always read energy and their
energy was telling me that it was all a set up. They
were playing me yet again.
Nombulelo: “So, we’re having our very first event

tomorrow. I mean, the top of the range people will
be there. You should come.”
Alfred: (clearing throat) “I don’t think that’s a good

idea.”
Page 1032 of 1871

Alfred: “It’s just…”
He could barely finish his sentence and so I looked at

her and she was staring at him so I decided to play the
game.
Nombulelo: “Do you mind finishing his sentence,

Pulane? I mean clearly he knows something that I
don’t.”
Pulane started feeling nervous. I could tell by her

facial expressions.
Pulane: (nervously) “Oh, well, it’s just that it’s not

really my thing.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, I highly doubt that. Besides, you

haven’t even heard what kind of event it will be.”
Pulane: “Yes, still it isn’t my scene.”
Nombulelo: “Your Instagram page says otherwise.”
Page 1033 of 1871

They both looked at me shockingly.
Pulane: “You went through my Instagram?”
Nombulelo: “Oh, yes, I mean I had to see the woman I

am up against.”
I let out a slight laugh. I was being sarcastic for sure.
Nombulelo: “You are quite the influencer, hey. You go

to all these lavish places and I could really use a few
pointers regarding the event tomorrow. You might
have a tip or two for me. You are way more
experienced than I am in these things.”
Pulane: “Hmm, yes, I suppose so. Is that all you saw?”
NOmbulelo: “You mean on your Insta? Oh, no. I saw

everything. All the pictures you and Alfred take every
month or so with the boys. I think it is really cute to
take a trip with them every now and again, you know.
You show them a united front.”
They were both uneasy.
Page 1034 of 1871

Alfred: “Yes, well, we try.”
Nombulelo: “Speaking of the trip, when will I get to

join you guys on it? I mean, I’d love to meet the
boys.”
I saw her slightly change her face and I knew that

everything she had said was indeed rehearsed and
revoltingly fake.
Pulane: “Hmm, I don’t think you are ready to be

around that setup, baby girl. I mean, you are still in
high school, isn’t it?”
I didn’t move my eyes from her and when she looked

at Alfred, he must have warned her because she
suddenly changed tune yet again.
Pulane: (fake smile) “What I mean is that the boys still

need to adjust to their father and I being apart, you
know. They don’t really get the idea.”
I really wanted to be alone with her so I could catch

her exact vibe and thank goodness Alfred’s phone
rang. He tried ignoring it.
Page 1035 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Aren’t you going to get that?”
Alfred: “I’ll call them later.”
Nombulelo: “It’s Zoro. It might be important.”
Alfred: “No, nothing is more important than this right

now.”
Clearly he really didn’t want to see me alone with her.

After the lunch, she could barely even finish her food.
Pulane: “Well, then. It was a pleasure to meet you,

Nombulelo, but I have to go. I will try to make it to
your event, though hey.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, do come, I hope you really do

consider it.”
Pulane: (fake smile) “Hmm, bye.”
She didn’t even take her doggy bag. She walked away
flipping her Brazilian weave and deliberately walked
Page 1036 of 1871

slower than usual just so Alfred could watch her walk
out in style.
Nombulelo: “Take a picture it will last longer.”
I saw him come back to his senses.
Alfred: “Huh? What do you mean by that?”
Nombulelo: (smiling) “I’m just pulling your leg. Come,

let’s go. We have an appointment with the Boutique
owner.”
We went to the boutique after our lunch and she

wasn’t very pleased about our request of wanting last
minute custom made outfits, but she did come up
with the plan. She assured us that we would get our
outfits first thing the following morning. When we
went back to the house, I changed and asked Alfred to
take me to Michelle’s house.
Alfred: (sigh) “You saw what happened today. I don’t

think it is wise for you to go.”
Page 1037 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Alfred, she was my best friend. How
would you feel if you were sidelined by your best
friend’s family to speak at his funeral? Or to even
attend?”
There was no time for morals. He didn’t need to act

holy towards me that day. He knew what was in store
for him since they did way worse at Puse’s funeral. If
anything, I had every right to be at Michelle’s funeral
and that very day her corpse was supposed to be
arriving at the house. If anything, I wanted to pay my
last respects to her despite everyone’s feelings.
Alfred: “Okay then, at least let me get the crew

together.”
Nombulelo: “You don’t have to do that.”
Alfred: “Yes, I do. She was your best friend and we

support one another. Besides, you don’t know what
might happen so you need all the protection you can
get.”
I just nodded as he scrambled the crew together at

the very last minute. Of course, they didn’t mind
Page 1038 of 1871

showing up for a funeral. If anything, they enjoyed
being the center of attention and had an excuse to
dress up. As usual, I found them all dressed up in the
H1 when they came to Alfie’s house. We got in and
Biggie drove off. When we arrived at Michelle’s
house, it was really full. My friend didn’t have many
friends but it seemed as though so many adored her.
I even saw a few of my teachers, including Miss E. I
saw so many of the church people, and of course,
Pastor Chauke and his murderous wife. Why was I not
surprised? Michelle’s parents were firm believers of
God. When we got out of the car, I could tell that the
only reason why people didn’t take out their phones
to start filming us was because of the respect and fear
they had for Michelle’s parents. There we were
dressed like the Wattville Mafia in designer clothes
and most probably a gun in each one’s bag and
pockets. We walked in with style and ignored the
stares as usual. It didn’t take too long for the Magogo
(granny) who chased me away earlier that morning to
start cursing me again. It was as if she waited for
everyone to come closer so she could tell me proper
shit, but I was ready that time. I had just about had
enough of crying.
Page 1039 of 1871

Old woman: (shouting) “Heh! Kea hlollwa (I am being
tested)! Yoh, Modimo (Oh, God)! Did I not tell you to
never set foot here ever again?! Leave my house!
Have you come to finish off her parents as well?!”
Nombulelo: “Mme (ma), with all due respect, I have

come to pay my respects to my best friend.”
At times we literally just swallow our pride all in the

name of respect but she was being unnecessary and I
really didn’t have the time for all her bickering.
Old woman: (angrily) “I will not say it to you again –

leave now!”
Nombulelo: “Sit down, you are turning my friend’s

send off into a laughing stock.”
She looked at me shocked while I just took one more

look at her and walked right past her. Alfred was right
next to me and that time, Zoro was walking right
behind us with Tshidi and the rest followed. Everyone
was whispering but I didn’t care. I walked up straight
to the podium where pastor Chauke was standing and
just gave him one look before he excused himself.
Page 1040 of 1871

Alfred stood a bit further away from me while the rest
of them aligned themselves right in the front. All eyes
were on us but I had not come for that. I could see
the hatred in Michelle’s parents’ eyes, but it wasn’t
about them at that moment.
Nombulelo: (clearing throat) “I greet you all today,

yes, Michelle was very god fearing and so is her family,
but I don’t agree with a lot of things that the church
does for obvious reasons known to most of you, so I
will just get on with it. Michelle and I were best
friends and have been since primary school. We
spent most of our afternoons together even after
school. We had an entire future planned even until
the day of her departure from this earth. I haven’t
come here to give you something to talk about – no,
you are going to do so on your own accord anyway. I
have come here to tell you about Michelle – the
Michelle that I knew. She was so loving and bubbly
and never shied away from telling me about God and
her love for the Lord. She was raised well – no doubt
and despite everything that happened to my mother,
she still didn’t judge me and continued to be friends
with me. She was the only friend I had.”
Page 1041 of 1871

I could feel my voice breaking a little bit as I continued
speaking of her in the past tense. It truly felt real.
Staring at her beautiful picture right on top of her
casket made me numb. I was lost in the moment for
a little while when Alfred came to touch my arm
gently.
Nombulelo: “As I was saying, my life is now empty

without Michelle, I am completely lost without her.
Yes, I cannot compete with her family nor what they
feel but only she would understand how I feel right
now. The circumstances surrounding her death are
not as complicated as many think and despite what
many of you think is real and the truth – it was indeed
her time. God took her from this earth as you believe
in God’s timing, but I say unto you – I will avenge her
death.”
I could hear Alfred swallow hard as I said that. I stood

a little closer to her casket and touched it.
Nombulelo: “My friend, thank you so much for

bringing so much joy in my life for all these years we
have been friends. Continue to shine in heaven and
make me proud. I will always love you.”
Page 1042 of 1871

With that said, I walked out leaving the rest of the
crowd hanging. I could hear how her mother let out a
loud wail as I finished speaking and they started
singing. I could have said whatever I wanted to say to
Chauke and his wife, but I chose not to. It was about
Michelle and my final moments with her. I was
heartbroken, but I was not about to cry. I didn’t want
to go to the graveyard as I really had way too much to
do. Sure, the event was on my mind, but revenge was
something I wanted to serve on a silver platter that
day. As I have said before; an eye for an eye, for I
didn’t believe in vengeance being of the Lord.
As said in Deuteronomy 32:35 – “Vengeance is mine,

and recompense, for the time when their foot shall
slip; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and their
doom comes swiftly.”
Chapter 51
Ephesians 4:31 – 32 – “Let all bitterness and wrath
and anger and clamor and slander be put away from
you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ
forgave you.”
Page 1043 of 1871

I knew that Michelle knew I tried my best to send her
off properly. I didn’t want her funeral to be the talk of
the town for all the wrong reasons. Straight after we
went to her house, we went to the venue
immediately. Our outfits were already in the car. I
ensured that everything was up to standard and we
even had a make up artist do our makeup before the
event. We had our own private room booked right at
the venue while everything was being set up. I was
on my phone throughout all the preparations; Tshidi
was not even lifting a finger while Priscilla was
honestly doing the most. Kea looked like she was
trying but she too looked like she was on Tshidi’s side.
She showed me that she was doing it to please the
guys of which I didn’t mind – she was of no interest to
me. She was good with numbers and so was I, so she
wasn’t even a factor. The one person I wanted to
come was Pulane. I needed her to be there in order
for me to execute my plan properly. I had her number
though she had no idea, so instead of making Alfred
weary of my actions, I decided to call her personally
and put her on loud speaker while I was with the girls
in our room.
Pulane: “Hello?”
Page 1044 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Hey, Pulane, it’s Nombulelo.”
I could hear over the phone that she wasn’t too

pleased to hear from me.
Pulane: “Oh, how did you get my number?”
Nombulelo: “Alfie gave it to me. Are you still

coming?”
Pulane: (annoyed) “Ag, I thought I already told you

that it’s honestly not my scene. I don’t know why
you’re even bothering so much with this entire thing.”
Nombulelo: “Well, firstly, you’re on speaker. Secondly,

I told you I am trying my best to form a relationship
with the mother of my future husband’s boys. I
thought you agreed with me just yesterday when we
had the lunch.”
I had her right where I wanted.
Pulane: “Oh, is Alfred there? Did he hear me?”
Page 1045 of 1871

I didn’t even attend to her question since the girls
were looking at me in shock.
Nombulelo: “Just be here, please. It will really help

with a lot of things. See you soon. Bye.”
I hung up before she could even ask anything further

while the rest of them were looking at me like I was
insane – Priscilla included.
Kea: “Girl, are you mad?”
Kea: “That’s Pulane – an even worse version of Puse.”
Tshidi: “Yeah and how did you even go to lunch with

her? I am surprised she even agreed. That’s so unlike
her.”
Nombulelo: “Well, clearly you don’t know her as well

as you think.”
Tshidi: “Oh, no, I don’t buy your act. What are you
planning?”
Page 1046 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I don’t have the time to be planning silly
things other than the legacy of my children. I too
want them to have a good life one day. Anyway,
enough chit-chat, we have things to do. Let’s go,
please.”
Tshidi and Kea walked out first most probably to

gossip about what I had in mind for Pulane while
Priscilla pulled me to the side.
Priscilla: “What are you planning, really?”
Nombulelo: “Don’t you worry, I am not planning

anything.”
Priscilla: (shaking head) “She’s more dangerous than

you think, Nombulelo.”
Nombulelo: “I know should anything go wrong – you

have my back.”
I winked at her and let her be. She kept glancing at

me like I was insane the entire time. When Alfred saw
Page 1047 of 1871

me coming out of our room, his entire face lit up. I
kept thinking how stupid he thought I actually was.
Alfred: “You look so beautiful, my love.”
Nombulelo: (smiling) “Thank you.”
The venue looked absolutely gorgeous. Bongani really

pulled out all the stops. We were introduced right on
the stage and just as I had hoped, all the guests
looked promising. We not only wanted investors, but
we needed hardcore intel in order to get inside men.
We shook hands with people who worked with the
police, the beurau, the military as well as prison
wardens. We had the entire country’s operations and
system right in one place. I had big plans for those
morons who underestimated women in their little
crew. They were used to thinking small but I wanted
them to go big. At times, you cannot force small-
minded people to think big, because they will try to
overthrow you and end up with an even bigger
problem on their hands. If you sell your idea to
someone else, they won’t be able to execute your
plan the way you envisioned it. Halfway through the
main course, I started getting worried when Pulane
Page 1048 of 1871

was not showing up. Alfred could tell how restless I
was becoming.
Nombulelo: “Yes, I am just worried as to why Pulane is

not here yet. I mean, I thought we left on good terms
yesterday?”
Alfred: “She told you, these things are not her scene.
It is way too sophisticated for her.”
Clearly his penis was not too sophisticated for her

vagina. I sensed how relieved he was that she was
not showing up. He must have told her not to come.
It dampened my mood a little bit and when Bongani
came to let us know that the Minister bought our
casino idea and wanted to invest in our business, I
could see how Zoro was excited. He really wanted
that big break for them, I was not so sure about his
future wife’s plans for our gang.
Alfred: “That’s awesome news. I think we should go

and celebrate.”
Page 1049 of 1871

Zoro: “Let’s take the party to my house, shall we?”
Sure, they all had nice houses but that thing of always
having meetings and parties at his house had to
change and I made a mental note of it all. We spent
nearly 6 hours mingling with those people. They
drank all the expensive alcohol and hardly touched
the food, though it was good food. I was just happy
that we were getting somewhere. We got into the car
and halfway to Zoro’s house, I received a call from
Pulane. She was so drunk I could hear how slurry her
speech was.
Pulane: “Hi, Nombulelo.”
Nombulelo: “Pulane, hi.”
I could hardly contain my excitement while Alfred

looked at me with so much concern. He wanted to
know what she was saying to me and I didn’t bother
to put her on loud speaker, just for fun. The music
was a bit loud and he asked Biggie to turn it down for
me.
Page 1050 of 1871

Pulane: “I am sorry I didn’t make it to your function,
but I am around Zoro’s neighbourhood. Are you guys
going there? If so, I can come and join you guys for a
while.”
Alfred: “What’s she saying?”
Nombulelo: “She says she wants to join us at Zo’s

house.”
He immediately contested the idea and tried to grab

my phone from me.
Alfred: “Tell her no.”
Nombulelo: “It’s fine, we’re actually on our way there

now. You can come.”
Pulane: “Okay cool, I will meet you guys at the gate.”
Nombulelo:” Alright then.”
I hung up and noticed just how irritated Alfred was

with me.
Page 1051 of 1871

Alfred: “What the hell was that?”
Alfred: “I told you not to invite her over and you did!”
He was raising his voice at me right in front of

everyone, but I was not about to have that. I just
ignored him and he could tell that I was deliberately
ignoring him.
Thank goodness I was the only sober one amongst
everyone because I don’t know what I would have
done to him at that moment had I been drunk. When
we approached the gate, she was indeed waiting for
us right outside in an Uber. When she got out, she
paid the driver and he drove off. We drove into the
yard and she followed us. I was the very first one to
get out of the car. I walked towards her and Alfred
steadily followed me like my watchman.
Nombulelo: “Pulane, I am so glad you could make it.”
I deliberately hugged her and probably looked stupid

amongst the rest of the members. She was frowning
Page 1052 of 1871

looking very confused and I could smell the alcohol all
lover her body. She had quite a lot to drink.
Pulane: (confused) “Sure.”
Alfred: “Can I speak to you for a moment?”
He didn’t even wait for me to respond to his request,

but he pulled me right into the house. We went to
one of the guest bedrooms and he nearly threw me
right onto the bed. He was so angry, it was my first
time seeing him like that.
Alfred: (angrily) “What the fuck do you think you’re

doing, Lelo?!”
His eyes were bewildered but I was more than ready

for whatever he wanted to throw at me. He evoked
all the anger I had supressed within me.
Nombulelo: “What do you mean, Alfred?”
Alfred: “I told you not to let her come here and you
deliberately defied me! You tried to force her to
come to the event the entire day and what for?!”
Page 1053 of 1871

Nombulelo: “You are the one who begged me to
meet your baby mama, if I stand to be corrected and
now that I lost your child
It was pretty obvious that either Kea or Tshidi told her

that we were going to Zoro’s house, why else would
she have called and told me that she was around the
neighbourhood just when we were on our way to his
house? Alfred was not very pleased with me.
Alfred: “You told her she’s welcome when I already

told you to tell her not to come!”
Nombulelo: “Don’t raise your voice at me like that.

Besides, you are supposed to be showing everyone
here what healthy relationships are all about. You and
Pulane are just co-parents, right? So what’s so wrong
about wanting a relationship with the mother of your
children? Unless you have something to hide.”
Alfred: (shouting) “I have nothing to hide!”
Nombulelo: “You’re doing all this because I lost your

babies, isn’t it? You are blaming me, aren’t you? I am
Page 1054 of 1871

now deemed useless by you now that they are no
more, isn’t it?”
I used his own tactic against him – reverse

psychology. I even threw in a few tears and I saw how
he was starting to soften up.
Alfred: (sigh) “It’s not like that, Nombulelo. Please,

don’t do this. I am sorry for yelling at you like that. I
didn’t mean to.”
Nombulelo: “I lost my friend and your babies, Alfred

and this is how you are treating me?! All because I
am trying my best to be amicable with your ex? You
are just being so mean to me and it’s all too much for
me.”
He tried coming closer to me, but I had him where I

already wanted him.
Alfred: “I’m sorry, please look at me.”
Nombulelo: “I won’t allow you to ruin what is left of

today. If you want to continue with this relationship,
you will treat me with respect and speak to me
Page 1055 of 1871

properly. I won’t allow you to speak to me like that
ever again – especially not amongst our friends.”
He tried to get me to calm down but I pulled out of

his grip and walked out of the room. I wiped away my
tears and headed downstairs faster than he could
even stop me. That was our very first obvious fight
amongst them and some were rather pleased that we
were not the golden couple as they had hoped.
When Alfred walked down right after me, I could see
Tshidi laughing to herself as she whispered something
to Pulane. I looked at the both of them and Tshidi
looked at me with a smirk on her face. She had no
idea that she was about to see me being reincarnated
to the devil herself.
Diesel: “Ah, baratani (love birds) we’ve been waiting

for you guys to come down. Are you two good now?”
Alfred looked so sour and just evaded the question.
Alfred: “Mfe whiskey o tlogele ditaba tsa batho (just

give me some whiskey and stay out of other people’s
business.”
Page 1056 of 1871

Kea: “Ah, Master mind, there is no need to be so
rude. I mean all couple’s fight.”
Alfred: (annoyed) “Since when do you have any two

cents regarding other people’s relationships, Kea?
Who talks of your arrangement with Biggie and all
your porno shit?”
They clearly hit a nerve and Biggie stopped it really

quickly.
Biggie: “Kea, man. Just shut up. How many times do I

have to tell you to leave other people’s business
alone? We have our own problems too but you don’t
see anyone talking about them.”
She kept quiet immediately and Zoro put on some

music for us.
Zoro: “Let’s not fight, today was just the start of an

era. I would like to make a toast as I always do; to
Nombulelo. Had it not been for you discovering this
gem, Master mind
we would not even be where we are now. I can
envision everything; us owning casinos, hotels, you
Page 1057 of 1871

name it. It is time that we think of our children and
the legacy we want to leave them.”
Tshidi made a funny remark clearly directed at me but

I already knew what she was on about.
Tshidi: “Yes, while some of you have double the work

to do since you have more than enough offspring to
deal with.”
She and Pulane chuckled in their little corner,

angering Alfred even further.
Alfred: “Wa reng wena (what did you just say),

Matshidiso?!”
Zoro: “Ignore her, come on man. It’s supposed to be a

good day for us.”
He downed his drink and took the whiskey bottle that

was before him, clicked his tongue in annoyance and
walked away. He went upstairs and most probably
went to sit at the top balcony.
Page 1058 of 1871

Priscilla: “Maybe you should go after him,
Nombulelo.”
Nombulelo: “No, let him cool off. He will be fine. He’s

still dealing with our loss, you know.”
Pulane: “Let me go, I mean I know him more than any

of you after all.”
That was right where I wanted her, but they were a bit
taken aback that I didn’t say anything after she said
that.
Priscilla: “No, you are not going anywhere. You are

coming to sit with us. Leave the guys alone.”
Priscilla pulled Pulane towards our direction and we

went to sit at the bottom balcony. I could see how
the guys were making attempts to speak to Alfred and
all came back down stairs one by one. He was clearly
too pissed to even speak to anyone. While we were
sitting with the girls, Pulane was starting to irritate me
a little talking about Alfred and how she would
comfort him whenever he was moody. Who asked
Page 1059 of 1871

her anyway? That’s all she ever had in her mind –
pleasing a man.
Pulane: “You know, I don’t mean to interfere with

your relationship. I know it is still new and all, but
whenever Alfred is like this, you just need to go down
and suck on that lollipop of his, hun. He really loves
blow jobs. Surely you know that, don’t you?”
Tshidi: “They can’t do that as of yet, they just lost their

first pregnancy, remember?”
Pulane: “Oh, yes. Sorry about that.”
She let out a brief chuckle making it seem like it was

all a joke to her.
I didn’t want the pregnancy to begin with, but who

was she to make it all such a joke? I lost the babies
because of her anyway, so if anything she was guilty of
killing three people, actually. I got so mad but I
maintained my composure. I just stared at her
without smiling or blinking. She made a move and
kept on saying that she needed to pee quite a lot
since she had a lot to drink. Tshidi followed her to the
Page 1060 of 1871

rest room and they seemed to be taking quite some
time. When Tshidi came back, she tried to make
conversation with me but I could tell she was trying to
distract me. Whenever I tried to look towards the
direction of the stairs, she would come closer to my
face and start a weird and meaningless conversation
with me. I could tell that Priscilla was just as annoyed
as I was, while Kea was not even bothered by
anything.
Priscilla: “Lelo, I need the toilet. Come join me

please?”
That was when Tshidi started acting nervous.
Tshidi: “Wait, but we’re still talking.”
Priscilla: “You’re always talking about your wedding.

You can continue about it when we come back.”
She tried to stand up but Priscilla deliberately pushed

her back down and we managed to walk right past
her. She looked really nervous, so I knew that
something was most definitely up. We walked up the
Page 1061 of 1871

stairs and went to the bathroom. She closed the door
immediately behind her.
Nombulelo: “Oh, thank goodness. You saved me from

that fake conversation.”
Priscilla: “Pulane is with Alfred on the balcony. You

didn’t hear it from me.”
With that said, she walked out and closed the door.
Priscilla just had my back all the time. I walked
towards the balcony and as she said, Pulane was
standing right before the irritated Alfred. I couldn’t
really hear what they were saying but he was asking
her to tone it down and leave him alone, but she was
pleading her case.
Alfred: “Keep your fucking voice down! Do you want

my girl to hear you?! Entlek fokof, jo (actually fuck off,
dude)!”
Pulane: “That’s not what you said this entire week,

Alfred. You spend time with me – in my bed while she
was at school – “
Page 1062 of 1871

Alfred: “Don’t fuck with me, Pulane. I am not in the
mood. Not right now.”
I decided to step in right there and then.
Nombulelo: “What’s going on here?”
Alfred looked like a naughty toddler caught stealing

sweets while Pulane didn’t look very defeated. He
was starting to sweat, so I knew he was guilty.
Alfred: “I can explain, babe. It’s not what you think.”
Pulane: “Really, Alfred? Are you for real?”
Alfred: “Ag, wena man! Stay out of this, Pulane!

Baby, it is not what you think.”
Nombulelo: “Then tell me what it is.”
Alfred was so nervous, he could have messed his

pants if he wanted to.
Pulane: “I am tired of pretending. Alfred, enough

already. Just tell her the truth, please.”
Page 1063 of 1871

Nombulelo: (frowning) “What truth?”
Alfred: “Don’t listen to oher, babe. She is just a

jealous ex.”
He walked closer to me and she walked closer

towards him. Clearly Alfred’s defiance hit her badly.
Pulane: (angrily) “Really? That’s not what you said

just two days ago, in fact that’s not what you said
yesterday, Alfred! You didn’t say that when you were
between my legs.”
I knew what they had been doing but hearing it from

her hurt quite a bit. Alfred was losing his temper with
her because she just wouldn’t shut up and so he
slapped her. She fell right down but managed to get
back up. She really didn’t want to go down without a
fight.
Nombulelo: (teary) “Is this true, Alfred? Are you really

cheating on me?”
Page 1064 of 1871

Alfred: “No, it’s not that simple. Please, just let me
explain. Let’s go speak privately, I am begging you.”
Pulane: “He is lying to you, honey. You are just one

small fish.”
I decided to strike right there and then.
Alfred: “She’s lying, babe. You have to believe me.”
Nombulelo: “Are you sure you want to go down that

road with me, Alfred? Are you really sure?”
Alfred: “I swear, she’s lying!”
Nombulelo: “Okay then. Did you honestly think that I

wouldn’t find out about you sleeping with her? When
you came to fetch me the day Michelle died, you had
changed your clothes twice. You smelled of a cologne
I have never seen you wear – ever. You must really
think I am stupid, hey? Was I the one who told you to
impregnate me, Alfred?! You found me a virgin and
you decided to knock me up while I was the most
vulnerable. You decided on your own accord that I
needed to be a mother. You refused to listen to my
Page 1065 of 1871

reasons yet here you are, crying for our dead babies
when you failed to tell me yourself that you have 6
boys!”
He nearly dropped on that floor. I saw his jaw widen

as he pulled himself together. He thought he
misheard me but I repeated myself.
Nombulelo: “You heard me right, Alfred. I know all

about your children. You hid so much from me yet
you claim to love me. You discuss me with your side
chick or is she your main? Which one is it?”
I wanted to confuse him so much that he himself

would start doubting his own actions.
Alfred: “Who… who told you all that?”
Nombulelo: “Who else other than Pulane? She is the

one that you’re busy fucking with while I am at school,
isn’t it? She is the reason why my brand new car
brakes were tampered with. We both know that so
you can stop pretending. We both know that the
accident was aimed at me and Michelle protected
me! Why else would you leave the car unscathed?”
Page 1066 of 1871

He was too shocked to respond for a few minutes.
Yes, I lied about Pulane telling me all about that but I
left them confused all together. He knew about her
being the one that tampered with the brakes, but she
was just confused about everything I said.
Nombulelo: “You have disappointed me, Alfred. O

busy wa feba (you’re busy whoring) while I am
walking around looking like an idiot. You took me
under your wing because I am young and come from
a disadvantaged background. You wanted to use me
and spit me out like all your other baby mama’s. I am
done being your door mat.”
Alfred: “Lelo, please. I don’t know who is feeding you

all this information but – “
Nombulelo: “It’s no wonder they call you

mastermind. You just calculate your every move,
don’t you? Look at how you’re lying to me right now
despite me telling you the truth. Ask Pulane why she
sent me that threat the night before Michelle died.
Ask her. And then you will know what she did. If you
Page 1067 of 1871

want to blame someone, blame her. She killed our
babies.”
Alfred was left so confused, but my wrath was enough

to send him straight to the edge.
Alfred: “Lelo, you can’t be telling me such things right

now. Are you leaving me now?”
Nombulelo: “Would you rather I stay and subject

myself to even more abuse?”
Alfred: “You’re not leaving me. We’re going home

and we’re going to sleep. We will deal with all this
tomorrow.”
Nombulelo: “There is no way I am going home with a

cheater and a liar. You are the cause of Michelle’s
death. You are the cause of our children’s death.”
Alfred: (shouting) “Please, I’ll do anything you want

me to. I will do anything for you to forgive me. I
choose you, I’d choose you all over again.”
Page 1068 of 1871

Pulane: “That’s what he always says to each and every
one of them, love. He will always come back to me.”
I had no idea where I found the audacity within me to

make him do such a vile thing, but I didn’t feel bad
about it – not one bit.
Nombulelo: “Do you really choose me?”
Alfred: “Yes, of course I do.”
Nombulelo: “You just said you’d do anything for me?”
Alfred: “Anything.”
Nombulelo: “Make it all go away. You won’t have to

go back to her every time.”
Nombulelo: “Get rid of her – permanently.”
I thought he would doubt himself or doubt me, but

he just looked at her straight in the eyes and she
actually could see that he was considering it. I
Page 1069 of 1871

thought he was going to draw his gun and shoot her
right there, but he showed me another side of him.
Pulane: (scared) “Alfred, what the fuck are you trying

to do? You couldn’t possibly do it. You love me, I am
the mother of your sons.”
He stepped closer to her and threw her off the

balcony. Pulane screamed for a mere second and I
heard a loud thud. She fell onto the ground and I saw
no movement from up the balcony. I made him do
something horrible and he claimed he had done it for
me. We formed a covenant that bind us until shit hit
the fan. It became harder to choose what I wanted to
do without him because he had killed for me.
As said in Proverbs 6:34 – “For jealousy makes a man

furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge.”
Chapter 52
Proverbs 16:33 – “The lot is cast into the lap, but its
every decision is from the Lord.”
For a moment everything and everyone went dead

silent in the house. After everyone heard those brief
Page 1070 of 1871

screams, they all came rushing up the stairs – Zoro
being the front man.
Zoro: “What just happened?”
Alfred was too distraught to speak. He had only

comprehended at that time what he had just done.
Biggie: “Ekse (Hey), what the fuck just happened?”
Tshidi: “We heard screams. Where’s Pulane?”
Nombulelo: “How did you even know she was here?

Alone with Alfred?”
Priscilla: “Now is not the time, guys. Where is she and

what happened?”
Alfred: “I pushed her down the balcony.”
They all stood there shocked.
Diesel: (shocked) “You did what?!”
Page 1071 of 1871

Kea: “Someone should go check downstairs before
the neighbours call the cops.”
While Tshidi was the front runner heading to check on

her friend, Kea was right behind her and we all
seemingly just followed them. When we got there,
we all got the shock of our lives.
Tshidi: (shouting) “Oh, my God! She’s breathing!”
She was barely breathing and moving in so much

pain. Something within me was waiting for her to
take her very last breath. She was bleeding profusely,
I was amazed that she was still alive.
Zoro: “Don’t be so loud, Tshidi. The neighbours will

hear you.”
Kea: “I’ll call the ambulance.”
Diesel: “Wait. Before we do that, are we certain that

we want her to live to tell the tale of what happened
here tonight?”
Page 1072 of 1871

Tshidi: (angrily) “What do you mean, Diesel?! Are you
kidding me right now?!”
Diesel: “I don’t mean it in a bad way, but we all know

what happened to Puse and why she had to die. So,
we don’t know why Pulane was pushed down the
balcony. If anything, Master mind did that within
good reason.”
Tshidi: (angrily) “I won’t stand around and watch her

die while we hold our own courtroom here. Kea, dial
the ambulance.”
Kea did as told while Zoro kept on strategizing.
Zoro: “We all need to get our story straight – she fell
down the balcony after drinking a little too much.”
Everyone was nodding including Alfred. They seemed

to have done that before.
Kea: “The paramedics are on their way. I still want to

know who actually pushed her down the balcony.”
Page 1073 of 1871

She looked at me with suspicion and I could tell she
was already on Tshidi’s side.
Alfred: (angrily) “Biggie, kgala motho wa gao (call your

girlfriend to order), please. Now is not the time.”
While we were waiting on the paramedics, Tshidi was

trying to do her best to ensure that Pulane was
comfortable. She started losing consciousness and
that caused Tshidi to panic.
Tshidi: (panicking) “Oh, no! She’s becoming

unconscious.”
That was the least of our worries because we saw

blue lights flickering approaching the house. We
knew the police were on their way and it was about
to get even worse.
Zoro: “You all stick to the story – including you, Tshidi.”
The policemen walked out and I noticed it was the

very same policemen who took me into custody the
night of the hotel heist. The nice policeman was still
with his partner. I could still remember his name or
Page 1074 of 1871
surname that is. I knew then that whenever that duo
was present we were in deep shit.
Policeman: “Dumelang (greetings). We have come

here to take you all in for questioning.”
All I knew was that we had to remain calm no matter

what, but Alfred was quite defensive within reason.
Alfred: (annoyed) “What the hell for?”
Policeman: “Regarding the lady that was taken to the

hospital a few minutes ago. We believe she fell off
the balcony though your neighbours heard noises and
screams before she fell.”
Alfred: “So?”
Policeman: “I believe you know all know the rules of

how we as police operate whenever something like
this happens – including you, Mr. Skosana. It is just
standard procedure, unless you are riddled with guilt.”
He was already starting to toy with them and that’s

where Zoro stepped in. Usually Alfred had his shit
Page 1075 of 1871
together, but that evening he was just on the brink of
a messy breakdown.
Zoro: “Listen, officer. We all know you’ve had it in for

us but this is not the time to accuse any of us of
anything. We’ll go to your little rooms for
questioning. Make it snappy because we have to sort
out Pulane’s hospital bill.”
Policeman: “Oh, no, I doubt that would be necessary.

Based on the information we received from the
doctors, we doubt she will even make it.”
I thought I’d feel a little bit of remorse or hurt but

nothing came to me. Policemen were trained to
watch body language of suspects, and by the look
Tshidi gave me right there and then, I could tell I was
on the top of the suspect list.
Nkuna: “Jerry, let’s go. We have things to do.”
Oh, so his name was Jerry.
Page 1076 of 1871

Policeman: “Fine. You all can follow us as I doubt
you’d want to spoil your precious Gucci outfits in our
pathetic government van.”
He was just being sarcastic every moment. Zoro

made us all get into the van, that way we could get
our story straight. We were not arrested – yet. Once
we were in, Alfred sat right next to me as if he were
my watch dog. Biggie was the driver while Zoro was
giving out instructions as always. Something about
that always put me off. Alfred was the mastermind of
the crew yet Zoro was like our boss.
Zoro: “Okay, there is no time to hash out what really

happened up there.”
Tshidi: “We all know exactly what happened!”
She gave me the evil eye making me retaliate

immediately. That was the very first sign that the
interrogation was going to go sideways. I could feel it.
Nombulelo: (annoyed) “What the fuck are you trying

to say, wena Tshidi?! And why are you even looking at
me like that?”
Page 1077 of 1871
Alfred stood up for me which I didn’t think he would
do actually.
Alfred: (angrily) “Zoro, kgale ke go botsa gore o kgale

motho wa gao (I’ve been begging you to put a leash
on your woman). She is not going to speak to my
woman like that, in fact none of you are going to
speak to her like that – especially not after everything
she has done to elevate this crew.”
They were all quite shocked that Alfred was standing

up to Zoro like that.
Diesel: “Alfred, mfo (bro), I don’t think this is the time

to fight.”
Alfred: “I agree hence I am speaking. You will let me

speak and finish.”
They looked at him in so much shock that he left

them dumbfounded.
Alfred: “For months I have watched you treat

Nombulelo like she isn’t one of us. For months I had
Page 1078 of 1871
to lie to her about your brother fucking her sister,
Diesel. I kept quiet because I was loyal. I kept quiet
when Puse was killed by Zoro. It was a unanimous
decision but yet she wasn’t kept in the loop. Tshidi
was brought back into this group without any
discussion and it was deemed okay. No one bothered
to say anything to you, Zoro. Yes, I have my faults. I
fucked up – big time. I was fucking Pulane on the side
much like most of you have been doing to your
women. You impregnated her sister, Diesel and what
do you think that did to Priscilla? I was wrong, I admit
it. But this shit has to stop. We’ve had each other’s
backs and hardly even fought until Tshidi arrived.
Puse had her own demons and was not so bad until
Nombulelo came into the picture. I know very well
who has their own problems with her and quite
frankly, I don’t give a fuck. She is my woman and I
love her. She is here to stay and the sooner you all get
it into your heads, the better. Now, as for tonight, I
pushed Pulane down the balcony. It was a mistake, or
perhaps it wasn’t but I dare any of you to mention
that to that fucker Jerry. In fact, I dare any of you to
even try to mention Nombulelo as the possible
suspect – le tlo nkitse pila (you will all know me). As
Page 1079 of 1871

far as we were all concerned, she was drunk and fell
down the balcony. End of story.”
He had said quite a mouthful and by then we were

just turning right around the corner of the police
station. He held my hand tightly right throughout his
speech. I wasn’t too sure how to feel about the
whole thing. In fact, I was conflicted. I had started to
hate him with my entire being but seeing him stand
up for me like that made me think that he still had my
back irregardless of anything. They were all
dumbstruck but I could tell he hit a nerve when it
came to Zoro. That was just the beginning of the little
cracks that were already starting to show in their tight
brotherhood. Now with women involved and two
sisters trapped in a rather awful predicament, it was
about to get worse. Jerry rushed straight to our van
and opened the door without being invited to do so.
Jerry: “Right, let us go in, shall we?”
Zoro: “There’s not enough rooms for all of us here.”
Page 1080 of 1871

Jerry: “I know that very well. You will all be kept in
one room with one of my colleagues while being
interrogated in the other room, one at a time.”
Zoro wasn’t too happy about that. I think deep down

he knew he couldn’t trust Tshidi either. We were all
placed in the same room as promised and Alfred sat
right next to me with his hand tightly wrapped around
mine.
Jerry: “Well, then, let’s get right to it, shall we? I bet
you all have so much to do. The first person to be
interrogated is the man of the house, which is you,
Steven.”
The way he knew each one by their real names and

surnames was just alarming for me. That man was
digging for some serious dirt on us. He was having
sleepless nights all because of the crew. Zoro was the
first to be taken out. After about half an hour, came
Diesel and then Biggie. The men were taken out first
most probably because of his little strategy, I don’t
know. We couldn’t even talk to one another because
one of his other colleagues was watching us the
entire time. Alfred was just on edge, I thought it was
Page 1081 of 1871
because he truly loved me but it was the guilt ripping
him apart.
Alfred: “Are you okay? Do you need some water?”
Nombulelo: “I am fine.”
Alfred: “Are you sure?”
He kept rubbing my hand continuously. What

shocked me was that he was not the next one called
right after Biggie. Priscilla was next to be called and
then Kea and then Tshidi. All the while Alfred and I
were next to one another. It killed me not knowing
what they were saying about what happened. Next
up was Alfred. He had to let go of me and I could see
the worry on his face but I had been through that
before so I was not going to crack under pressure. I
sat there observing everyone and reading energy.
Everyone was questioned for approximately 30
minutes except Tshidi. She was in there for an hour.
When she walked back into the room where we were
all kept, she looked at me as if she was going to kill
Page 1082 of 1871
me. Alfred came back also after about an hour. I was
a bit confused as to why the two of them got an hour
long interrogation and most importantly, why was I
saved for last?
Jerry: “Right, up next is you Nombulelo Makeba.

Follow me please.”
I followed him and didn’t look back. When I was

seated he smirked before speaking.
Jerry: (chuckling) “Well, well, well. We meet again –

as I have said.”
Nombulelo: “How unfortunate. Your obsession with

me is wild, I guess.”
Jerry laughed while Nkuna just looked at me with so

much pity and despair.
Jerry: (laughing) “This girl is funny hey, Nkuna?”
Nkuna never entertained his jokes and sarcasm. He

just returned them with silence.
Page 1083 of 1871

Jerry: “Let’s get started then. How do you know the
soon to be deceased Pulane Sithole?”
Nombulelo: “Well, for the record she is not deceased

–“
Jerry: “Yet.”
Nombulelo: “Anyway, she is my boyfriend’s ex

girlfriend and mother of his children.”
Jerry: “Oh, you mean one of the many mothers of his

many children?”
He thought I was surprised by that fact but it was no

new information.
Nombulelo: “Yes, you are correct.”
Jerry: “Oh, so you know? Could it be that you found

out just hours ago and you decided to push her down
the balcony?”
Nombulelo: “Balance me here real quickly, Mr.

officer.”
Page 1084 of 1871

Jerry: “Detective.”
Nombulelo: “Whatever. Pulane went to a lunch with

Alfred and I just days ago and in fact she was one of
our guests at today’s function.”
Jerry: “Oh, you mean your little criminal function?

Why would a gang crew be mingling with important
people like the minister of defence?”
Nombulelo: “Why don’t you ask them? Is it a crime to

host a function with important people, detective? Or
is your ego bruised because you just weren’t invited?”
I could see my attitude was annoying him so he

decided to drop a ball on me.
Jerry: “Hmm, I see you are not a very likeable person,

and most of your little crew members dislike you.”
Nombulelo: “I already knew that.”
Jerry: “I suppose they can’t dislike you that much to

actually confirm that you were the one to push your
Page 1085 of 1871

boyfriend’s baby mama down the balcony. In fact, I
have one particular witness amongst your little crew
that confirmed you had a fall out with both Alfred and
Pulane just minutes before the fall.”
Nombulelo: “Well, that’s just jealousy you know.”
Jerry: “Oh? So Matshidiso is jealous of you?”
I knew she had to throw me under the bus.
Nombulelo: “Why wouldn’t she be?”
Jerry: “Well, she also confirmed that you had a

physical fight a few weeks ago with Pulane at her
sister’s funeral. You also had a few physical
altercations with her sister while she was alive that is.”
I knew someone was feeding Tshidi information. That

rat.
Nombulelo: “So? People fight all the time and if

anything, it was self defence. She came for me.”
Page 1086 of 1871

Jerry: “You are quite a violent girl, Miss Makeba, in
fact your school headmaster can confirm a lot about
your violent behaviour.”
Nombulelo: “Well, I had a tough upbringing. Growing

up like that can have a very negative effect on a
person, right?”
Jerry: “Yes, well, growing up with a whore of a mother

can really make you hate the entire world.”
He wanted to aggrevate me and actually prove that I

was indeed violent and prove his little theory, but I
wasn’t having it. I remained calm.
Nombulelo: (calmly) “Well, perhaps you were one of

her many customers, who knows?”
Jerry: (laughing) “Well, I respect myself, thank you.”
Nkuna: “Come on, Jerry. Stick to the real reason why

she’s here.”
Jerry: “Fine. Well, do you want to hear my theory,

Miss Makeba?”
Page 1087 of 1871
Nombulelo: “No, but since you’re bored I know you
will tell me anyway.”
Jerry: “Hmm, you either pushed her down the

balcony and Tshidi’s story is confirmed or your
boyfriend pushed her to prove his undying love for
you right after confessing to sleeping with her
throughout your entire relationship. It must be hard
being so young and already having the very man who
took your virginity cheat on you barely 6 months into
the relationship.”
I got quite angry but maintained my composure. One

of their colleagues called out to Nkuna and he
stepped out for a minute. That was the perfect time
for Jerry to show me just how much he hated me.
Jerry: “Look, we both know you’re a little piece of

trash who grew up with a whore of a mother and
nothing to live for. I know you went for Alfred
because he has all the things to offer you. It is quite
sad to see you become a statistic and throw your
already very dim future away for a criminal like him.
You are still young, but already 18. If convicted, you’ll
Page 1088 of 1871
be tried as an adult. Do you honestly think if you are
all found guilty he would cover for you when he has 6
kids to worry about? Wake up and smell the coffee,
baby girl before you end up in a prison cell facing the
world all alone.”
I just looked at him right in the eye and said nothing

but I was boiling. I wanted to grab him by the throat
right there and then.
Jerry: “Well, I see you are choosing him over yourself

and your own siblings. I see history will repeat itself
indeed.”
Nkuna came back in looking rather unhappy.
Jerry: “What is it?”
Nkuna: “She just passed on.”
I could tell by Jerry’s smile that it was just what he

needed to hear. He looked at me with a broad smile
on his face.
Page 1089 of 1871

Jerry: “Well, I see it is about to get interesting. We will
open a new docket of murder. I’ll see you soon, Miss
Makeba. We are done here, for now.”
I just stood up and walked out of there trying to

maintain my composure. I breathed slowly. By the
time I had gone to the other room, I was told that
they were told to leave. I went outside and found
Alfred smoking right outside the van alongside the
guys. He rushed straight towards me and hugged me.
Alfred: “Are you okay? Why did they take so long with
you?”
Chapter 53
Ephesians 1:11 – “In him we have obtained an
inheritance, having been predestined according to the
purpose of him who works all things according to the
counsel of his will.”
That very night I battled to sleep quite well. I was

tossing and turning while Alfie was just sound asleep
and holding me tightly as if I was going to run away.
When I eventually managed to fall asleep I dreamt of
my mother.
Page 1090 of 1871

Gugu: “Nombulelo, my child, what do you think
you’re doing?”
Nombulelo: “What do you mean, Ma?”
Gugu: “You know exactly what I mean. What on earth

are you doing?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Gugu: “We’ll talk the day you are ready to admit you
are messing up.”
Nombulelo: “Wait, Mama!”
Just like that she left. I woke up drenched in sweat. I

couldn’t understand as to why because the dream
was quite short but my throat felt so dry and painful
as if someone had been strangling me or something. I
must have woken Alfred up because he switched on
the light as soon as I jumped up and gasped for air.
Alfred: “What is it? Are you okay?”
Page 1091 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I just had a bad dream, that’s all.”
Alfred: “Are you sure? Perhaps it is time for us to go

and see Baba. I don’t like all this bad luck following
us.”
Nombulelo: “I’m fine, I just feel like I need water.”
Alfred took a good look at me and frowned.
Alfred: (shaking head) “Your throat is so red. Did you

dream someone strangling you?”
I shook my head. I just told him I dreamt of my

mother and what she said. He wasn’t very impressed
by my answer.
Alfred: “Let me go get you some water. I’ll be right

back.”
He rushed downstairs to get me some water as

promised.
Alfred: “Drink up.”
Page 1092 of 1871

He looked genuinely concerned about me and
watched me swallow each and every drop.
Alfred: “Try getting some rest. I need to make a few

calls, okay?”
I nodded in agreement. My throat was on fire. I

couldn’t believe what was happening and it was very
hard for me to describe the feeling but it felt as if I
could feel another entity in the bedroom, I could
smell my mother’s scent. I actually could feel myself
become a bit scared. I struggled to sleep for a good
two hours before eventually dozing off. I don’t
remember what time Alfred came back to bed but I
was woken up by him around 4am on a Sunday
morning. Was I not angered by that?
Nombulelo: “Tjo (wow), Alfred! How can you possibly

wake me up at this hour on a Sunday? I don’t even
get up at this time on a school day.”
Alfred: “Get up and get dressed. We have things to

do.”
Page 1093 of 1871

I was really annoyed but he looked so serious. He was
already dressed and I had to do the same. He asked
me to wear a skirt or dress and a doek, with
something covering my shoulders. I did as he said
because I honestly just wanted it all to be over. We
got into his car and he drove off. I dozed off in the car
and it wasn’t even a mere hour when he woke me
up. I was still sleepy but I could tell we were going to
Baba’s house yet again.
Nombulelo: “Why are we here?”
Alfred: “Just come. You’re safe, I promise.”
We walked into his hut with our shoes off. We knelt

before him and he greeted us as usual. He made his
usual noises and burps and I honestly just didn’t want
to be there.
Baba: “Thokoza (greetings) Nombulelo. Have you

been sleeping well?”
Alfred: “Don’t lie – he can see everything.”
Page 1094 of 1871

I didn’t feel like it all besides he most probably had
already told him what was happening.
Nombulelo: “No, I haven’t.”
Baba: (nodding) “Hmm, you two are in a lot of trouble

with the ancestors. Alfred, why didn’t you bring her
back here to get properly cleansed after the
miscarriage?”
Alfred: “I tried, but she didn’t want to. We were going

through a very rough patch of our own.”
Baba just nodded and asked us to blow in his small

bag with the bones in it. I was confused as to why we
had to be there so early in the morning. He shook the
bones and threw them onto the ground.
Baba: “Hmm, Thokoza (greetings). Yes, as you can see

here your family, Nombulelo took the twins and
claimed them. They will grow up on the other side.
Your grandmother has them with her. You cannot go
through your life without appeasing their spirit and
Page 1095 of 1871

giving them names. Otherwise, they will trouble you
in life.”
I nodded in agreement since Alfred was so invested in

what Baba had to say.
Baba: “Hmm, what you did to your sister is deemed

unforgivable – she will never forgive you so we are
clear. She will betray you in the worst way possible,
but you can always change your ways while you still
have the chance.”
Nombulelo: “What do you mean, Baba?”
He looked at Alfred then at me. It seemed as if he

didn’t want to speak openly with him there.
Baba: “What I mean is, listen to your mother’s

warnings and take heed. She will bother you until you
lose yourself.”
Alfred: “So our children are safe? What killed them?

Or rather who killed them?”
Page 1096 of 1871

They all thought that everyone was so against them
that they wanted all of them and their offspring dead.
Baba: “You know very well what the mother of your

children did to this girl over here. Not only did she kill
her best friend, but she wanted your girlfriend along
with your unborn children dead. Besides, the twins
passed away due to a pain killer she took which is not
recommended for intake during pregnancy. They
were going to die anyway due to the stress and toll
they took on her body.”
Alfred’s face changed immediately.
Alfred: “Hold on a second. What do you mean she

took a pill not recommended for pregnancy?”
Baba looked at me again and then at him.
Baba: “Nombulelo, do you mind explaining to him

what happened?”
He put me right on the spot without me asking.
Page 1097 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I was in pain that evening at your house
and couldn’t sleep so I went into the kitchen and took
tramadol from there.”
Alfred: “How many did you take?”
Nombulelo: “One, or two I can’t remember.”
He looked at me as if he wanted to kill me and then

his face softened immediately afterwards.
Alfred: “Okay.”
Baba: “Hmm, now that that’s out of the way, what are
you two planning on doing about the two dead
sisters?”
Baba: “Do I have to remind you Alfred that your friend

killed one sister and you just killed the other? Do you
think their family will sit back and relax and just leave
it all like that?”
Alfred: “What do we have to do?”
Page 1098 of 1871

Baba: “I’ll cleanse you two again – hopefully for good
this time.”
Alfred: “Okay, anything else?”
Baba: “No, is there anything else you would like to

know?”
Alfred: “Yes, but I will discuss it with you in private.”
Baba nodded and once again we started with the

proceedings of steaming yet again and bathing in all
kinds of muthi. I didn’t know those things but I just
went with it for the sake of getting it over and done
with. Once we were done, Alfred was the first one to
leave and he disappeared with Baba for quite some
time. I went straight to the car after we were done.
After about half an hour, I heard him open the door
waking me.
Baba: “Sorry for taking so long. You must be

exhausted.”
By then the sun was out already.
Page 1099 of 1871

Baba: “Remember to drink all this as instructed. I

wrote down the instructions. After a week you should
be good to go. Oh, and Nombulelo, when you do
have time do come see me, okay?”
He spoke from concern, I could see it in his eyes. If I

didn’t know any better, I’d have said he wanted me to
come see him alone – without Alfred. Alfred got into
the car and we drove off.
Alfred: “Do you want to stop by for some breakfast?”
Nombulelo: “Can we get takeaways instead? I am not

in the mood for anything outdoors.”
Alfred: (nodding) “Sure.”
He drove to the nearest McDonalds and got us some

food. We went home and we ate in bed though he
hated it whenever we ate in the bedroom. It was a
complete no-no for him. It looked like he had a
Page 1100 of 1871

pressing matter to address with me but had no idea
where to even start. He kept stealing glances at me.
Nombulelo: “Out with it. What is it?”
Alfred: “Nothing really.”
Nombulelo: “Speak your mind, Alfred. You’re making

me uncomfortable.”
Alfred: “Fine. Baba told me something interesting. It

is something that actually unsettles me, you know.”
Alfred: “Have you noticed how weird Kea became the

moment Tshidi joined our crew?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I saw it a while ago. Why?”
Alfred: “I don’t like what she has been getting up to.

Apparently she was also behind sending threatening
messages to your sister to leave Diesel alone. She
seems to know a lot more than you and Priscilla,
actually. I mean if you are part of the crew, why are
Page 1101 of 1871

they treating her like she is the only important
female? I don’t like Tshidi, I mean that is no secret but
I can’t trust her with any bone in my body. I did some
digging while you were sleeping this morning before I
called Baba.”
Alfred: “Why didn’t you tell me that you knew Tshidi

threw you right into the fire during the
interrogation?”
The jig was up. He knew everything.
Nombulelo: “I’m not a snitch, Alfred. You know that.”
Alfred: “In this case, she has Zo by the balls. He just

adores her more than anything and it is only a matter
of time before she messes things up between us all.”
Nombulelo: “So what is your suggestion? You can’t

get rid of her like you did with Pulane and Puse.”
Alfred: “No, I got you in way too much of a mess. You

and I will just have to be the next power couple.”
Page 1102 of 1871

Alfred: “Let’s speed up the process; let’s organize one

more big heist and then we’ll be done with them for
good. We can start our own thing. We don’t have to
open a casino or hotel with them. We can take just
enough for ourselves to start a brand new life
together. We can still be friends and all, but I feel like
the brotherhood has long died.”
There he went again with you and I. I was already

planning my exit from that crew of theirs including my
relationship but he had other plans.
Nombulelo: “Alfred, I have school to focus on. I hardly

see my sister and twin siblings any more. Have you
even forgotten that Masabatha is leaving us in a
week?”
Alfred: “Leave Masabatha to me. Your sister is

covered. I have eyes and ears everywhere.”
He knew a lot more than I actually realized. He was

dead serious about leaving the crew and so, instead
Page 1103 of 1871

of me catching up on some well deserved sleep, I
listened to him hatching the next big heist. I saw right
there and then why they called him mastermind. He
was so passionate about crime and planned
everything to the T. He had all the connections and
we brainstormed together. After about three hours,
we had just about gathered enough that we needed
on our wish board. The more we spoke of it, the
more I actually liked it as well. I could see myself
being his Bonnie and him as my Clyde.
Nombulelo: “Do you think they’ll like this plan?”
Alfred: “They don’t have a choice. After all, they can

adapt or fuck off.”
Nombulelo: “Fine, but I have one request from you.”
Alfred: “What?”
Nombulelo: “Since my one and only friend is

deceased and I am pretty much stuck here with you, I
want you to teach me how to shoot. Take me to a
shooting range – today.”
Page 1104 of 1871

He liked the dangerous side of me. He adored the
fact that I was interested in being a little bit evil.
Alfred: “Okay, take a shower. I will take you there

soon after.”
I took yet another shower and the sleep had worn

off. I was so excited, it was as if a demon was slowly
entering me. The more I felt like leaving that crew,
the more I got drawn right back in. He took me to a
shooting range and they seemed to know him very
well. He showed me how to position myself after
wearing those heavy headphones so that I could
block out the noise. It was a little scary holding a gun
in my hands, but the power that gun instilled in me
that day is just shocking. It thrilled me to just hold it.
When he showed me how to pull the trigger and I did
it the first time, I could feel my entire body vibrate,
but once I emptied the first cartridge, I felt like a
professional. I no longer felt all that fear and anxiety
come over me. It was instantly replaced by
excitement. I was falling in love with that dangerous
weapon. It gave me a new purpose in life; I felt in
power and indispensable. Alfred enjoyed watching
his girl doing that. After an hour and a half, we were
Page 1105 of 1871

done. I was ready for the world and he could see it as
well.
Nombulelo: “Aren’t we having our usual Sunday lunch

at Zo’s today?”
Alfred: “He’s not the boss. I will text them and tell
them to come over to my house. Is that okay with
you?”
Nombulelo: “What do you mean? It’s your house.”
Alfred: “Our house.”
Men can make you feel so important with just words

but I knew that only his name appeared on that title
deed. It was just our house by mouth.
Nombulelo: “Cool, we just need to stop by the shops

to get some food and ingredients that I can cook.”
Alfred: “Alright, I’ll take you to Woolies.”
It was around 10:30am when we went to the shops.

As usual, he handed me his card and asked me to buy
Page 1106 of 1871

whatever I wanted while he went to the liquor store
to get booze for everyone. I had to bear in mind the
total mouths we were going to feed. I was no
stranger to the stove but I had never had an entire
feast for approximately 8 people. Most of the time at
Zo’s house we would eat takeouts or ordered platters
but this time it was my time to shine yet again. I
wanted to show Tshidi that she was small fry to me
despite the age difference. She was somewhat
condescending from the moment she even heard
about me from Kea. Alfred mentioning her I knew he
already knew what she was up to. I didn’t want to
pass any judgment but it had come to my mind as to
why Biggie didn’t bother to marry her. Priscilla wasn’t
married simply because Diesel was a fuckboy at
heart. I took chicken to make a chicken roast, some
steak and greens to make a lot of salads, including a
lot of vegetables. I was yet to show them not to mess
with Nombulelo, the daughter of Gugu Makeba. I
went about my business the moment we got home.
He told me he would help me with the cooking the
moment he had come back from my house. He had
gone there to speak to Masabatha. I had no faith in
whatever he had planned on telling her because she
told me straight to my face she wouldn’t be able to
Page 1107 of 1871

assist us after the ending of that week. I was busy
with the meat while some was roasting in the oven
and peeling vegetables for the rest of the salads and
roast when Priscilla and Diesel were the first ones to
arrive.
Diesel: “Knock knock!”
Nombulelo: “I’m in the kitchen!”
Priscilla: “Hey, babes. Where’s Mastermind?”
Nombulelo: “He quickly went to stop by my house.

Diesel, help yourselves to a beer or a drink, please.
Alfred already placed them in a few coolers in the
back yard.”
Diesel: “I could get used to you hosting our Sunday

lunches.”
He leaned closer to Priscilla who seemed rather

uncomfortable when he leaned in for a kiss.
Diesel: “Will you be alright here?”
Page 1108 of 1871

She just nodded and he kissed her cheek.
Diesel: “I love you.”
She just nodded and he walked away. I could tell the

pain and heartache was still raw so I didn’t want to
touch on it right then.
Nombulelo: “What would you like to drink? I have a

variety of wines in the fridge unless you want one
from the rack.”
Priscilla: “Hmm, you are on a mission to impress, baby

girl. What’s the occasion? Tell me, why are we really
here?”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “What makes you think

there’s a hidden agenda?”
Priscilla: “I know you Lelo. You have a little trick up

your sleeve, don’t you?”
Nombulelo: “Nothing big, it is just a Sunday lunch.

Besides, Alfie thought it would be a good idea to have
us have it here for a change instead of Zoro’s place.”
Page 1109 of 1871

Priscilla: “To be honest, I was getting tired of his house
as well.”
She laughed as she poured herself some wine. I

heard Alfred driving in with the loud music from the
car and soon afterwards came Biggie and Kea, who
looked like she didn’t even want to be there.
Alfred: “Honey, I’m home!”
He rushed towards me, swung me around and kissed

me before putting me back down.
Nombulelo: “Hayi (no) man, Alfie. We have guests.”
Alfred: “So? They do this in front of us all the time.”
Biggie: “What’s up, Mastermind? Aren’t we going to

have a little chat outside as guys?”
Alfred: “In a few moments, my guy. I am helping my

woman cook for you guys. In the mean time, you can
indulge in the snacks and drinks outside. She was
Page 1110 of 1871

kind enough to make her own cheese boards for you
from scratch, weren’t you, honey?”
He was so all over me with Kea looking at us with

some sort of disgust while Priscilla looked at us with
so much envy that it nearly broke my heart for her.
Biggie and Kea got the message loud and clear. They
were not used to relaxing with their girlfriends while
we were all together, but Diesel was more than happy
to fetch the reluctant Priscilla from the kitchen.
Diesel: “Eh banna (goodness), baby. You heard Alfred

chasing us out of his kitchen and you are still here?
Come bond with your man, please.”
She let out a faint smile and took the entire bottle
away with her. I could tell baby girl was not going to
be alright any time soon. Meanwhile, Alfred was just
too happy. He played music for them outside using
his Bluetooth speakers while he was assisting me with
cooking without fail. He even wore his apron.
Nombulelo: “So, did your meeting with Masabatha go

as I expected it to?”
Page 1111 of 1871

Alfred: “Actually, she agreed to stay for a few more
months just until you finish your matric.”
I was quite surprised.
Nombulelo: “How did you pull that off?”
Alfred: “I can make any woman bow down to me.”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “Hmm, are you sure about

that?”
Alfred: “Why don’t we go upstairs so I show you?”
Nombulelo: “Hayi (no), man Alfred. I haven’t healed

yet.”
Alfred: “I will wait for you, my love.”
He kissed me yet again while we continued cooking.

Soon afterwards came the last couple, which was
unusual because Zoro was never late – no matter
what the occasion. Tshidi wore all black with a Gucci
scarf over her head and oversized glasses as if she was
Page 1112 of 1871

attending a funeral. She looked rather somber but
Zoro seemed fine.
Alfred: “Oh, finally! The golden couple arrives!”
The first thing Tshidi did was look around and analyze
the entire house from where she was standing.
Meanwhile Zoro was greeting the two of us.
Zoro: “Hey, it’s finally good to have one of you host for
a change.”
I didn’t expect that comment from him. Tshidi looked

at me like she didn’t even want to be there. I could
sense her energy all the way behind those hideous
sunglasses of hers.
Tshidi: “Hmm, I wonder what the occasion is for us to

be here today instead of our house.”
Zoro: “What do you mean? Do they need one to host

us?”
Tshidi: “Anyway, this house still has a touch of Pulane

in it. I can tell you didn’t decorate it, Nombulelo.”
Page 1113 of 1871

I got annoyed and clapped back.
Nombulelo: “And yours still smells like Puseletso,

doesn’t it? I mean that’s why Zo still has her clothes
in one of the bedrooms, isn’t it?”
Zoro: “Okay, ladies. Now is not the time. I honestly

came here to have a good time and let Alfred make
the speeches for a change.”
Alfred: (laughing) “Sure, mfo (brother). The drinks

and snacks are right outside. We are almost done.”
Tshidi: “We? Does she have you cooking now?”
Alfred: “That’s our love language. What’s yours?

Bitching and moaning?”
Tshidi wanted to respond, but Zoro pulled her right

out of there. I could tell that the problem was Tshidi
but she had some sort of hold over him so he didn’t
want to be mean to her whatsoever.
Alfred: (clicking tongue) “That bitch is annoying.”
Page 1114 of 1871

That was the very first time I actually heard him voice
out how he felt about her to me. He didn’t filter
anything. We finished cooking and placed the food
on the table outside. I could already tell that there
was more than a tinge of jealousy from Kea and
Tshidi’s side, while everyone else was impressed.
Diesel: “Eh, eh eh, o kare re tlo jela mo ka di Sontaga

(it seems as if we’re going to have our Sunday meals
here from now on).”
Biggie: “I second that, mfanaka (my man). The food

looks amazing.”
Tshidi: “I wonder if it tastes as amazing as you say.”
Priscilla: “Ao (oh) Matshidiso! Jealousy ke ya eng

(what’s the jealousy for)?”
Tshidi: “I am just saying.”
Zoro: “Maybe you should say less, my love.”
Page 1115 of 1871

She didn’t appreciate that from her own man but
they were happy. My man was a wonderful host and
he prayed for the food, which actually took me aback
quite a bit. I didn’t expect him to know how to pray
like that. After the prayer we dug in. There was less
arguing and talking for a change and more eating.
Even Kea and Tshidi enjoyed the food deep down
though they tried very hard not to like it. Kea was one
snake. After eating she came right to me and asked
me for the recipe for one of my salads. I just told her
I’d text her via WhatsApp. I cleared the table with
Priscilla’s assistance. Afterwards, it was straight to
business. Alfred was on a roll and didn’t have time to
wait. He came right to the table with our wish board,
the one we made that very morning.
Alfred: “Ladies and gentlemen, I am sure a lot of you

were wondering why on earth you were coming to
my house for Sunday lunch but the truth is I feel like it
is time to make some changes around here. We’ve
had so much tragedy for the past few weeks in our
crew, but one thing we can all agree on is that this
lovely gem of mine has done nothing but elevate us
for higher status and success.”
Page 1116 of 1871

The guys and Priscilla agreed while the two witches
kept quiet.
Alfred: “My future wife and I were working on this

board the entire morning so it is with pride I introduce
to you our new project.”
He placed it on the table and we started telling them

our exact plans.
Alfred: “You see, I have been making a few calls to our

fellow guests who had come to our event. With all
the heat Jerry has been placing on us, we saw it fit
that we act as soon as possible in order to build that
casino in case he finds some dirt on us, you know.
Firstly, the minister of defence will organize guns for
us straight from the military base. He will have them
wiped and cleaned for us so that they don’t trace
back to them. He will provide ammunition for us as
well. The minister of police can assist us with the
necessary gear and transportation. We, my dear
family are going on one last heist – the biggest heist
we have ever done in the history of this gang. We
won’t even have to lift a finger. We will be dressed as
policemen and women and some of you will
Page 1117 of 1871

exchange with our inside men and drive the money
straight to us. We are going to walk away with a
whopping R150 million without shooting anyone.”
They were so impressed with our plan and wanted to

hear each and every detail.
Nombulelo: “Priscilla, you will have to hack the

cameras, while the guys go out and swop the cash in
transit van with the original guys. Kea, Tshidi and I will
have to drive one of the police vans and escort them
personally. We would have received a “tip off” that
the van was going to be hijacked. It is quite simple
but it would require all of us to be on our ball game.”
Tshidi: (frowning) “Why do you I have to go with you?

Why can’t I stay behind the scenes with Priscilla?”
Nombulelo: (irritably) “Because you don’t have the

necessary skills to do so and she needs all the
concentration she can get to tell us where to go in
case something goes wrong. Until you also have any
IT skills, you are more than welcome to change gears.”
She was annoyed by me but that shut her up.
Page 1118 of 1871

Biggie: “When are we doing this big heist?”
Alfred: “Next Sunday. The cash in transit van will be

driving to the mall. We just have to make sure that
none of the ministers are mentioned should we get
caught for any other reason.”
Zoro: (nodding) “I’m game. The sooner the better.”
Tshidi: “But honey, when will we even have our

wedding if we keep on doing all this crime?”
Alfred: “This crime is what’s feeding you and keeping

all the designer clothes on your back.”
I decided to be a “good” friend.
Nombulelo: “I was thinking you and Zoro could have

your wedding on the 5th of March.”
Alfred: “But love, that’s also during your birthday

weekend. I have big plans for that weekend.”
Page 1119 of 1871

Nombulelo: “We can work around them both.
Besides, aren’t we a family? Each and every one of us
is important and every event should be celebrated –
by all of us.”
Zoro: “I agree. I don’t mind the 5th of March, but also

I don’t want to interfere with your birthday plans. You
are turning 18 and it is a big deal, you know. We all
know you would have loved to spend it with your best
friend, but we as your new family would like to be
there to spend it with you.”
Tshidi was getting annoyed by all the attention I was

receiving. I honestly didn’t mind. I knew what I had in
mind, I wanted to get this entire heist out the way so I
could get my fair share and leave. It was about to
become great before becoming worse. I had no idea
that my visit to a prison cell was getting nearer. My
mother had tried to warn me but I didn’t listen. You
pay the price for not listening to your parents.
Colossians 3:20 – “Children, obey your parents in

everything, for this pleases the Lord.”
Chapter 54
Page 1120 of 1871

Proverbs 15:22 – “Without counsel plans fail, but with
many advisers they succeed.”
I understood very well why Tshidi was being Tshidi,

but I was yet to get the full theory as to why Kea was
being the way she was. She was so nice to me when I
joined their crew. I didn’t outshine her, but she
showed me her true colours as soon as Tshidi joined.
I was soon to find out why. We carried on partying
once business talks were over. Thank goodness I was
not a drinker as I was going to school the following
day. They were mostly drunk and tipsy, but Priscilla
looked like she really needed that drink. She had
already finished that bottle of wine. She was not a
heavy drinker but she could handle her alcohol well,
much like Kea. I think that was one of the reasons
why the guys never let go of them. They never really
spilled any beans no matter what hence Priscilla only
told me what she needed me to hear privately away
from them. She could drink all day or all night and still
be okay, but that day it seemed as if she was drinking
from a very sore core. Alfred told them that Sundays
were for lovers, and he just couldn’t keep his hands
off me. He forced them to sit next to their partners,
that being said Priscilla and I were seated next to one
Page 1121 of 1871

another, while Diesel and Alfred were at our sides.
Diesel was so clingy towards Priscilla, something I
hadn’t witnessed before. I wasn’t too sure how they
were before I met them, but he was most definitely
compensating for the way he had been treating her.
Priscilla was nice enough not to make me pay for my
sister’s sins since she fell pregnant with her
boyfriend’s child. Tshidi was being Tshidi while Kea
was being fake as fuck. A song came up from the
speaker, apparently a song they shared fond
memories of, AKA’s don’t forget to pray. I had no idea
why they loved it but Zoro stood up once it started
playing and rejoiced.
Zoro: “Yoh, yoh, yoh! Do you remember those days,

D?!”
Diesel: “Eh, mfana (oh, my man)! Those were the

days!”
They all stood up and I assumed they would dance

alone which was the initial plan, but Alfred had other
things on his mind. He pulled me up to dance with
him immediately.
Page 1122 of 1871

Alfred: (shouting) “When AKA said, ‘don’t forget to
pray’ in this song, I knew exactly what he meant when
I saw this girl over here.”
Zoro: “We struggled so much and would play this

song after going out on a heist.”
Biggie: “And when I got shot the very first time at age
16, you sang it to me during a prayer session at the
hospital. I was unconscious – in a coma but I could
hear you.”
Diesel: (clicking tongue) “What coma, moron? You

were so fat the bullets didn’t even touch your organs.”
They all laughed.
Biggie: “That’s why I am still fat. It saved me from

death.”
Diesel: “When my Priscilla got shot in the stomach

and we lost our baby, you played this song for me. I
remember when she wasn’t getting any better and
you all chipped in for her medical bills. How could I
forget the meaning of this song?”
Page 1123 of 1871

Wow, she never told me about that. I only knew of
the abortion she had with Diesel’s baby. When I
looked at her and saw her intentionally hiding her
tears, I wanted to break down on hear behalf.
Alfred: “When Pulane nearly killed me by pouring rat

poison in my food, guys – you sang this song to me.
How could I forget?”
I wasn’t even interested in anything negative he had

to say about her because he still went back to sleep
with her despite it all.
Zoro: “We’ve come a long way, guys, honestly. I’d love

to make a toast, but this is Alfred’s hosting day. So,
Mastermind, over to you.”
Alfred lifted up his glass and the rest of us followed.
Alfred: “A toast; to new beginnings and much more

money and a legacy built.”
Everyone: “Cheers.”
Page 1124 of 1871

I was surprised how Tshidi was acting so coldly when I
heard she had always been in the picture. I suddenly
felt a bit bad for treating Puse the way I did though
she was a real bitch. I’d also have been miserable if
my boyfriend was a real man whore and still had one
particular side chick in place with me in the picture.
The more they carried on, the more Priscilla looked
on edge so I stepped in.
Nombulelo: “Hey, P, I need the bathroom. Care to join

me?”
Priscilla looked more than happy to join me.
Priscilla: “Yes.”
Alfred: “Ah, wa nshiya now (you’re leaving me)?”
Nombulelo: “I’ll be right back.”
Zoro: “Yes, it’s not as if she’s going to Zambia.”
The guys laughed.
Page 1125 of 1871

Tshidi: “At least he is all over his woman and they’re
not getting married any time soon.”
Zoro: “Yoh, Matshidiso! You just love complaining.”
At least he saw it too. Diesel wanted to follow us but

Priscilla ubruptly said no. That’s when I knew
something wasn’t right with her. She even put her
hand before his mouth.
Nombulelo: “Come, P. Let’s go. I really have to pee.”
We walked away leaving Diesel dumbstruck. That’s

men for you, doing shit to make you feel worthless
and then acting stupid and shocked when you react
or retaliate. The moment we got into the bathroom
upstairs in Alfred’s bedroom, I got her to open up. It
didn’t take very long.
Nombulelo: “I’m sorry. I felt the need to take you out

of there. Are you okay?”
I ensured to lock the bedroom door and she just

broke down in tears. I let her be until she was done.
It was the very first time I saw Priscilla break down like
Page 1126 of 1871

that for a good ten minutes. She was fairly light so it
wasn’t too hard to notice when she was crying.
Priscilla: “I’m sorry for breaking down like that.”
Nombulelo: “There’s no need to apologize. I mean,

you have been through a lot and you are only
human.”
Priscilla: “I know what you must be thinking of me the

moment you heard Diesel speak of me being shot in
the stomach. You must think of me as a traitor when I
encouraged you to have an abortion but in the mean
time my baby died.”
Nombulelo: “No, no, no, honey. I could never think

that of you.”
Priscilla: “Diesel and the guys went on a heist together

one time but turns out the robbed the wrong guy.
One night I was in his room at the time while they
went out for drinks. I wasn’t feeling well because
well, I was pregnant. It wasn’t too long when I heard
footsteps rushing into the yard. I asked if it was him
but no one responded. They shot me right in the
Page 1127 of 1871

stomach the moment they walked in. The guy
wanted to do much worse to me but when he saw
that I was carrying his seed, he shot me in the
stomach, luckily it was only once. He literally stood
there and watched me fade away. It was as if he
wanted to see me die in front of him. That was what
made him stall because for some reason Diesel and
the crew appeared minutes later. The guy managed
to run away with his friends and when Diesel saw me
on the floor, it was as if his entire life was over. We
already had our daughter at the time but I was
pregnant with his son. I was 8 months pregnant and
they shot me like that. When I was admitted, they
operated on me and removed him from my womb.
There was nothing they could do as they had shot him
right in the head. He was born dead. Imagine me
having to wake up straight from surgery and feel my
empty stomach, only to be told that my son was
dead. He was not given the chance to enter this
world. I felt so bitter, what made matters worse was
the fact that my uterus was badly injured by the
shooting so it too had to be removed. I can’t bear
him any more kids, of which I am eternally thankful
for right now. He died that night. The following day I
saw in the newspaper that a local thug was brutally
Page 1128 of 1871

murdered with his eyes gauged out and his inside
ripped apart. I knew then that it was them.”
I shivered knowing that they could do such a thing.
Priscilla: “I am sorry I lied to you about the abortion. I

just wanted you to take a different route than I did.
They are all the same; they fuck us when we’re young
and make us fall in love and when we’re deeply in love
without choice since they find us as virgins, they start
whoring around. They make babies everywhere and
when we want to leave we are seen as the bad guys.
Don’t even try to confide in Alfred’s mother, you’d be
wasting your energy. They are all the same; their sons
dragged them out of poverty so any girl who
complains of them is a fool according to them.”
Nombulelo: “I’m so sorry, P.”
Priscilla: “It’s honestly okay, I just want to raise enough

money to leave this Godforsaken gang. I am not
happy; I don’t think I’ve ever been after finding out of
his very first infidelity. He has broken me to the point
of no return with your sister this time. I don’t know
Page 1129 of 1871

how to forgive. If anything happens, I won’t hesitate
to throw him into the wolve’s den.”
She was dead serious.
Nombulelo: “Pull yourself together. We have to go

back before they suspect something.”
Priscilla: “Something like what? Us throwing one

another off the balcony like Alfred did to Pulane?”
We both laughed.
Nombulelo: “You’re so silly, how do you even know?”
Priscilla: “Don’t forget I might be emotional but I am

very observant. I noticed from the get go how Tshidi
wanted Pulane to seduce Alfred so that you could find
them in bed and leave the crew. She had planned it
the entire week, along with Kea. I just didn’t tell you
because I knew you were smarter than that. And
besides, Alfred didn’t love her, her sex game was just
on par and that’s what kept him going back. Listen I
saw how Tshidi kept telling Pulane about Alfred’s
whereabouts in the house that evening. He was really
Page 1130 of 1871

down and didn’t know what to do about her presence
since he really cares about you so much.”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “Please Alfred, caring about

me? That’s funny.”
Priscilla: “He might be obsessed with you, but he truly

cares about you. If he wanted, he could have thrown
you to the wolves today but he didn’t. I know you
intentionally made him push that bitch down the
balcony. Believe me, I don’t judge you. I know exactly
why you did what you did and if I were you, I’d do it as
well. For far too long these guys have taken the
women in this crew for a ride. Why did they never
learn my skills or Kea’s skills? It is because they want
to hold us captive while they celebrate their wins with
other girls. Believe you me, what happened to Puse,
to Kea, to me will most definitely happen to you
again.”
She was not playing when she said that. She had
more experience and I knew I could trust her more
than any other crew member – even Alfred.
Nombulelo: “How about I tell you a little secret?”
Page 1131 of 1871

Priscilla: “I want to smoke some weed first.”
Nombulelo: “Do it in here, Alfred will understand. If

we stand on the balcony they might just hear us or
one of us might also just fall from it.”
We both laughed.
Priscilla: “You really think he won’t mind? I mean he is

such clean freak.”
Nombulelo: “Believe me, he will understand when I

tell him.”
Priscilla: “Hmm, I see.”
She started rolling her weed. She wasn’t a cigarette

smoker but enjoyed weed ocassionally.
I started telling her all the plans we hatched out with

Alfred and how much I wanted out for the sake of my
siblings.
Page 1132 of 1871

Priscilla: “What if I told you that you and I could do
something without him?”
Priscilla: “I have some money saved away. He doesn’t

know about it. About R200 000. You and I could start
a legit business together – without them. What do
you say?”
Nombulelo: “What kind of business are we talking

about?”
Priscilla: “Well, you are good at cooking and baking

and I could start an internet café and I could register
as a tax consultant or tax practioner. It takes long to
generate money but I’d do anything to be away from
crime right now. And we have enough to open our
own bottle store or tavern, alcohol generates a lot of
money quickly. And if all goes well, we could even be
loan sharks.”
She had really good thinking.
Page 1133 of 1871

Priscilla: “These guys won’t stop using us no matter
who we are; no matter how much good sex you
provide and most certainly no matter how many
children you provide.”
She really was right and no matter what I tried in my

mind to justify it, she was absolutely right. Despite
her lying to me about her abortion, I completely
understood why she did what she did. It most
certainly wasn’t easy and it was most definitely not
going to be opening up to a mere stranger like me.
Diesel had the nerve to still cheat on her after the
immense trauma she had been through. I could only
imagine the years of pain she had been carrying.
Nombulelo: “You know what? You’re right, you’re

absolutely right.”
I also considered the capital I also had of which

consisted of untouched money from the previous
heist. I wasn’t anywhere near broke, so we could
have started something big if we put our minds to it.
We ended up talking about how Tshidi and Kea were
just off. We didn’t click with them at all. I tried some
Page 1134 of 1871

of her weed, I wasn’t a smoker at all but it was quite
interesting to try something new.
Priscilla: “By the way, what’s up with you suggesting a

wedding date for Tshidi?”
Nombulelo: “Oh, that. I just wanted to give her

something to focus on. She won’t be too technical of
me if I show her support.”
We both laughed.
Priscilla: “You are something else, Nombulelo. I am

glald I met you, really. I had just about had enough of
all the fakeness in this crew when you came along.”
I was glad to be a contributor of something at least.

We must have gotten carried away because I heard
Alfred knocking sternly on the bedroom door.
Alfred: “You’ve been in there for far too long. Are you
plotting a murder against me?”
Priscilla and I both laughed as I opened the door.
Page 1135 of 1871

Nombulelo: “No, love. Priscilla just needed a smoke. I
hope you don’t mind.”
Alfred: “Wena (you) P, be glad I love this woman

wholeheartedly otherwise I’d have kicked you out of
here.”
We laughed and the day continued. Priscilla seemed

a lot more relieved after our conversation. The day
ended without any further drama which was truly
surprising. I thought the drama in my life had come to
a standstill but I was absolutely wrong. The following
morning I had to go to school. School was very empty
without Michelle by my side but I still had to fetch the
bag. The moment I entered the school gate, I was
called to the headmistress’s office. I had no
knowledge of doing anything wrong – at least not on
school grounds. I marched straight ahead and there
were no other learners in the queue to see the
headmistress.
PA: “Miss Makeba, you may go straight through. The

headmistress is expecting you.”
Page 1136 of 1871

The moment I entered, I could tell she was in a foul
mood.
Nombulelo: “Good morning, headmistress.”
Headmistress: “Morning, Miss Makeba. Kindly close

the door please.”
I did as told. From the moment she didn’t respond

with ‘good morning’ I knew something was up. She
looked me straight in the eye in complete silence
before speaking.
Headmistress: “I know you have a lot going on in your

life, but you do know that you represent this school –
both inside and outside of school grounds.”
I nodded in agreement.
Headmaster: “I wasn’t too pleased to receive a phone

call from the police regarding your student
information and filed reports of all incidents you have
had. The only time the police can contact me about
such is if you’re involved in criminal activities. I don’t
Page 1137 of 1871

take this lightly and the SGB is already on my neck
about getting rid of you.”
That was very unexpected.
Nombulelo: “Headmistress, with all due respect, I

have done nothing wrong – I swear. The fact that I am
being labeled a suspect in a case I know nothing
about does not mean that I should be expelled. They
are just picking on me because of my background and
because I am an orphan.”
Headmistress: “Look I understand your situation but I

don’t think you understand mine.”
Nombulelo: “Where will I find a school at this time of

the year, ma’am? More especially with all these false
allegations against me? I am sorry but it would be
discriminatory to expel me.”
I had to get her in my corner. I had barely started with

my matric year and I was already on the brink of
expulsion. She looked at me carefully before
responding, most probably to read my facial
expressions.
Page 1138 of 1871

Headmistress: “Okay, I hear you, but let me make this
clear; if something like this ever comes up again, I’ll
have no choice but to let you go. I hope that’s clear.”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Crystal clear, ma’am.”
Headmistress: “You may leave.”
I walked out of there breathing quite heavily.

Everyone must have been aware that I was dating a
gangster but I didn’t care. They gave me weird looks
but that’s basically all they could do. I had no friends
at school and I was okay with that. Michelle was my
only friend, literally. I endulged in my books and had a
smooth week. I caught up with Millicent every other
day and she seemed to have been doing just fine.
Nairobi was just being herself and the twins were
doing just fine along with Masabatha. We weren’t
talking much, but I was just ashamed of the life I had
chosen to lead. While juggling school work and the
upcoming heist and visiting the shooting range daily,
my week was rather busy. The Friday evening came
and we all met at Alfred’s house again to finalize the
logistics. I was playing a wife while still being in
Page 1139 of 1871

school. I didn’t know just how crazy that sounded and
looked. Alfred was one step ahead and managed to
get the guns and ammunition from the military base.
Alfred: “Right, the vehiles are in check and our

uniforms are ready. P, your gadgets will be delivered
in an hour.”
It was exciting fitting the police uniform to be honest.

I mean, no one is born a criminal but there is just
something riveting about crime; it makes you yearn
for more. It basically consumes your soul and
redefines you. We all fitten our uniform and
surprisingly
Alfred had gotten Biggie just the perfect size since he
was the biggest of us all. We were given our burner
phones and walkey-talkeys to communicate once
Priscilla’s equipment arrived. She had to test it all out
first. She had access to a lot of cameras, especially
around the vicinity of the mall we were headed to the
following day. Tshidi was really giving me weird vibes
that evening, but Alfred was one step ahead of her.
Whenever she looked at me funny, he asked her if she
had something to say to me. That caught her
attention and she focused on something else.
Page 1140 of 1871

Alfred: “I am aksing you all to be here on time, that
means no heavy drinking tonight and most definitely
no all night sex.”
The guys all laughed.
Zoro: “Sharp, we’ll be here 6am sharp.”
They all left all the equipment at Alfred’s house and

went back to their respective houses. I took a shower
and my bleeding was over, thank goodness for that.
Alfred found me applying lotion on my body and got
an instant erection. He stood right behind me and
started gently caressing my body.
Alfred: “Hmm, I miss you.”
Nombulelo: “I know, but you know what happened

the last time.”
Alfred: (sigh) “Okay then. Let’s sleep, we’ll deal with

all that another day.”
Page 1141 of 1871

I was quite shocked at the new Alfred. He didn’t ask
me to satisfy him in any way, in fact he had never even
asked me for oral sex though he would perform it on
me. I started to wonder if perhaps I shouldn’t have
tried, just to make him more at ease. I had an end
goal and I would have done anything to achieve it.
Nombulelo: “Well, since we don’t have protection, I

was thinking I could make you feel good.”
Alfred: (surprised) “What do you mean?”
Nombulelo: (nervously) “I could give you… a blow

job.”
His eyes widened, I wasn’t sure if it was out of

excitement or sheer shock or rather both.
Alfred: “No, you don’t have to do that. You’re not

forced to.”
A part of me felt I could never compete against

Pulane’s sex game since I was technically a novice in
the game.
Page 1142 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I know, but I’d like to try.”
Alfred: “Do you know where to start?”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “No, but you can tell me

what to do, can’t you?”
Alfred nodded and started instructing me step by

step.
Alfred: “Hold it firmly but gently and you can start by

licking the tip.”
I did as told. He had just taken a shower so it didn’t

taste half bad, just a little salty. The moment the tip
had gone into my mouth, I saw him relax his entire
body and close his eyes. If I had wanted to kill him
then, I could have. He was so vulnerable.
Alfred: (moaning) “Suck it up and down, slowly and

gradually increase the pace, my love.”
I did as told and the more he moaned the faster I

went. I had only heard girls talk about it but I never
knew the effect it had on men itself. It gave me
Page 1143 of 1871

excitement knowing that I had so much power on him
at that specific moment. It didn’t take as long as I had
thought it would and just when he was about to
ejaculate, he removed my mouth from his penis and I
saw his semen come out. He wiped himself and
kissed me.
Alfred: “Not bad for a newbie.”
I just laughed and we cuddled to sleep. I can’t say I

really enjoyed it, but I had to do it. The following
morning came and we woke up an hour earlier to get
ready. By the time everyone had joined, Alfred and I
were dressed as serious police. The rest got dressed
while Priscilla got set up in the lounge. She could
always focus and block out all her problems whenever
we had a job to do. There was no one beside her to
aid her because of all the upmarket and latest gadgets
that Alfred had gotten for her. So, she needed no
assistant like in the old days, so it mean that each one
of us had be on the field and do something that day.
Tshidi was rather reluctant to leave, I could tell by her
behaviour.
Page 1144 of 1871

Tshidi: “I don’t mean to delay everyone, but I really
need the toilet very fast.”
Zoro: “Tshidi, come on. You hardly had anything to

drink this morning. We have to go.”
Tshidi: “I know, but ke (it’s an) emergency.”
As annoyed as I was, I directed her to the upstairs

toilet, the one just next to Alfred’s bedroom.
Nombulelo: “Go up the stairs and you’ll see third door

on your right.”
She nodded in agreement while the rest of us went to

the van, which was quite a big mistake. No one really
thought that she’d be up to no good. We didn’t take
any of our personal phones with us on the heist, just
the burners. She came back after about 5 minutes
and even Zoro was annoyed.
Zoro: “Tshidi, couldn’t you pick an even worse time to

take a shit?”
Page 1145 of 1871

Tshidi was a bit embarrassed because all eyes were on
her.
Tshidi: “Sorry, I just couldn’t hold it any longer. Oddly,

she didn’t look like someone who had been in the
toilet. I mean her hands were not even wet, but I just
let it go. I read her energy and it seemed off. In my
mind she was going to fuck up the entire thing, but
she wouldn’t have dared because she too was part of
the job. We started off at our first destination and got
into the police vehicles given to us. We went our
separate ways and I remained with the ladies. Thank
goodness it was a double cab because no one would
have opted to sit at the back of the van. Tshidi was
right in the middle with Kea driving and myself on the
other side. It was a bit awkward because Tshidi just
seemed off with her eyes wandering around and she
tried asking a lot of useless questions.
Tshidi: “So, le re (you say) when we get to the next

stop re irang (what do we do)?”
Kea: “You were part of the training, weren’t you? So

what’s your problem? If you’re getting cold feet do let
us know.”
Page 1146 of 1871

Even Kea was getting annoyed.
Tshidi: “I was just asking yoh (wow) sorry.”
She remained quiet for a while which brought so

much joy to my soul. From there, we went to the
next stop and waited. We had to wait and listen to
Priscilla tell us over the radios that the cash in transit
van had arrived at the depot.
Priscilla: “Okay, guys. I am in. Our inside men are

ready and loading the money into the van.
Mastermind, Zo are you in position?”
Alfred: “Yes, in position.”
Priscilla: “Good. They are on the move and shall meet

you in roughly 10 minutes.”
Zoro: “Can’t you make it 8?”
Priscilla: “I don’t have access to all footage of all

robots, but I can tamper with the main robot across
Page 1147 of 1871

the street for a while to give them access to get to you
faster.”
Alfred: “Do it.”
Priscilla did the works though we were patiently

listening to her.
Priscilla: “Okay, I’m in. The truck is moving now and

should reach you two in approximately 5 minutes.”
Diesel: (proudly) “That’s my baby!”
Of course Diesel had to do that, there’s no other

situation I recalled him praising his woman like that.
Indeed after 5 minutes the truck landed and Alfred
and Zo switched positions and made it look as if the
original two guys were robbed without a trace.
Alfred: “We’re in position. Work your magic, P. Big,

Diesel you know what to do.”
Biggie: “On it, boss.”
Page 1148 of 1871

Alfred and Zoro drove away while Biggie and Diesel
were the first cop car to escort them because they
were better drivers than the rest of us.
Tshidi: (nervously) “Aren’t we going to the mall?”
Nombulelo: “What the fuck for? Are you trying to get

us killed?”
Tshidi: “I thought we were going to make it look like

we were dropping off the money?”
Kea: (deep sigh) “Tshidi, you know the plan – stick to

it.”
She started behaving really strangely while Kea was

driving.
Alfred: “Don’t forget the plan, girls. You follow Biggie

and Diesel – the rest of the plan will be taken care of
on its own.”
Tshidi was starting to sweat – all the symptoms of a

person with a plan completely opposite to ours were
present.
Page 1149 of 1871

Tshidi: “Wait! I really need the toilet.”
Kea: (angrily) “You have got to be kidding us, Tshidi!”
The two might have been close friends but Kea didn’t
take too lightly to someone trying to botch any
mission.
They must have heard some quarreling on our side.
Diesel: “Dintshang daarso (what’s happening there)?”
Kea: (angrily) “Tshidi ashu (here is) saying she needs

the toilet.”
Zoro: “Matshidiso, this is not the time. You can’t delay

us like that.”
Tshidi: “Ke etseng (what should I do), Zo? Ke ithotele

(should I piss myself)?!”
Page 1150 of 1871

She looked at me disgustingly thinking that the others
would feel pity on her. Her main aim was to stop
which we couldn’t risk. We were about to pull off the
perfect heist.
Alfred: (angrily) “We need to get you guys past the

original van so we can get rid of it and explode it! I
don’t care what the fuck you do, Tshidi! If you need
to take a shit then do so but you’ll shit in that van –
I’m telling you!”
Tshidi: (crying) “Why are you all so mean to a

pregnant woman?”
Kea: (shocked) “You’re pregnant?”
Tshidi: (sobbing) “Yes!”
Biggie: “Eh, mon (hey man), Zo. She’s not the first
woman in the crew to be pregnant le gona why ne o
sa bolele before (why didn’t you say anything
beforehand)?!”
Page 1151 of 1871

Zoro: “This is not the time. Matshidiso, do your
business in the car if you have to, that car is not
stopping.”
Zoro had the final say and I could tell Tshidi was
annoyed that he wasn’t going to back her up. We got
the signal to light the sirens and right after we just
passed the original cash in transit van, it exploded.
Tshidi did the unexpected, she rushed towards my
window, opened it and vomited right there and then.
What surprised me was that her legs and feet were
up in the air which caused her to kick me right in the
face. My head went down temporarily so I couldn’t
even see if she was vomiting or if it was all just a trick.
I didn’t even know if I could trust those two though
Kea looked more pissed than supportive.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Ouch! What the fuck, Tshidi?!”
Alfred: “What’s happening there?”
Kea: “Tshidi just vomited out the window.”
Alfred: (angrily) “Heh (huh)?! Tshidi, you took your

head out the fucking window?! Are you insane?!”
Page 1152 of 1871

Biggie: “All this noise is making it hard for me to
concentrate.”
Priscilla: “Count me in.”
Tshidi: “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it.”
Diesel: “This was a bad idea, Zo and you know it.”
Zoro knew that they were all right.
Zoro: “Can we talk about this later, please? We need

to focus on the job at hand.”
We still had about thirty minutes to get to our

destination, an old warehouse courtesy of Bongani.
We couldn’t involve the Minister since he too would
have wanted a cut. Once we arrived, Tshidi rushed
out of the car without warning and ran towards the
bushes. I had no idea if she was being genuine or just
playing a sick game but I was pissed. I couldn’t beat
her up, it would have ruined everything. All in all, we
delivered the money safely with Bongani waiting for
us right there. That was one dodgy lawyer. I could
Page 1153 of 1871

feel my left eye feeling a lot warmer than usual.
When I looked myself in the mirror I realized I was red
and swollen.
Kea: “Shit, sorry about that. Are you okay?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “It’s a mistake – no big deal.”
She too was surprised as to why I was so calm. I was

yet to deal with her – it was just not the time. Alfred
rushed out of the car towards me and once he
realized my swollen eye, he became angered.
Alfred: (angrily) “What the fuck happened to your

eye?”
Nombulelo: “It’s a mistake, Tshidi kicked me as she

was vomiting out the window.”
Alfred: (shouting) “You can’t possibly call that a

mistake!”
Zoro: “You heard her, it’s a mistake, Mastermind.

Come on, man. Let’s not act like bitches and get in
the way of women’s troubles.”
Page 1154 of 1871

Alfred: (angrily) “You knew when you involved her
that she was bad news! Puse was a lot better
compared to her! Why did she not just vomit in the
car?!”
Biggie: “I’m not taking sides but I agree with

Mastermind.”
Zoro: “Come on, guys. Can we focus on the job at

hand?”
Alfred: “No, we can’t. We all know that if it were one

of our girlfriends who did that on the job you would
have an effective method of punishment in place, so
why don’t you punish yours now, Zo?”
Everyone looked right at Zoro making him feel

challenged and incompetent.
Zoro: “Come on, she’s pregnant. She’s a newbie and

we don’t have the time to do this right now.”
Diesel: (shaking head) “I don’t know but I have a bad

feeling about this.”
Page 1155 of 1871

Biggie: “Perhaps she should come right out of the
bushes to tell us what the fuck her problem is.”
Zoro: (angrily) “I told you to fucking let it go – all of

you! She’s my woman and I won’t have you gang up
on her like that. We all agreed that no more fighting.
Now what the fuck is all this?! We never ganged up
on Lelo when she joined the gang.”
Alfred: “Nombulelo never tried any of the shit your

women have been doing.”
The rift was slowly getting wider.
Bongani: “I don’t mean to ruin your little affair, boys

but we have business to do. Open the vault so we can
get rid of evidence, please. My time does cost money,
you know.”
Zoro was bewildered and all this while Tshidi was not
even part of the conversation. She only appeared
right after the truck was opened and the money was
taken out.
Page 1156 of 1871

Zoro: (angrily) “Where the fuck have you been?”
Tshidi: “I don’t feel so good.”
Zoro: “Next time just stay home, Tshidi.”
He let her be just like that. We got our change of

clothing and burned the truck along with the
clothing. We had to wipe the police vans for any
prints of ours which took about two hours using the
necessary chemicals. Bongani was placing the money
safely for us minus his cut obviously.
Biggie: “I do hope that this is our very last heist, guys.

Yoh, ke utwlile (goodness, I’ve had enough).”
Alfred: “It is, I can feel it.”
We were done wiping the vans and Bongani was done

packing the money safely for us. It wouldn’t take him
very long to wash the money for us considering he
had a lot of businesses and offshore accounts. He put
the last suitcase in his boot and closed it.
Page 1157 of 1871

Bongani: “Right, all that’s done ladies and gentlemen.
I have packed R100 million safely for you.”
Of course he took R50 million. It didn’t sting much

because it meant that he would be able to get us off
the hook should shit hit the fan.
Bongani: “I shall be in touch in a week’s time and then

your casino can hit the ground. Start looking for the
necessary land to build it.”
We had left our van right there in the morning before

going on the heist and once he proceeded to drive off,
we got into the van and had a moment of silence. I
think it only clicked then that we had pulled off the
perfect crime. The police cars were to be taken care
of and we were not even visible during any heist. I
heard Biggie celebrate first.
Biggie: (excitedly) “Yes! We did it! We did it, guys!”
Alfred: “We couldn’t have done it without the brains I

call my girlfriend over here!”
Page 1158 of 1871

Diesel: “Yeah, yeah, praise her, Mastermind, though
we all deserve to be praised. Even you, P, my love.
You did well.”
Priscilla: “Thank you.”
Biggie: “This calls for a celebration.”
Diesel: “Yeah, let’s head right back to Alfred’s house.”
We drove back in so much excitement while Zoro was

just quiet with the worried Tshidi right next to him. It
felt to me like it had been the very first time he felt
undermined by the rest of the crew. It was as if he
wasn’t taken that seriously any more. His say didn’t
matter more than the rest. It was now a team effort
and unfortunately everyone could see that his woman
was up to no good. His gut feeling most probably told
him they were right, but I had no idea why he refused
to see the bad in that girl. We got off wthout lifting a
finger, but little did I knew that Tshidi was the snake
amongst the grass.
Page 1159 of 1871

As said in 1 Peter 5:8 – “Be sober-minded; be
watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a
roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
Chapter 55
2 Corinthians 11:3 – “But I am afraid that as the
serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts
will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to
Christ.”
The moment the car parked in the yard, Alfred rushed

out and spun me around.
Alfred: (smiling) “We did it, love, we did it.”
Nombulelo: “Yes, Alfie. We did it.”
Each one was rejoicing with his lover, while Zoro was
just downright depressed. It seemed as if he too had
just found out about Tshidi’s impromptu pregnancy.
He rushed into the house without saying a word
furher to anyone while Tshidi followed him. While
Alfred and I got the champagne out, we saw Zoro
walking towards one of the bedrooms with Tshidi
following him.
Page 1160 of 1871

Alfred: “Etswa daar (let them be), they’re probably
going to have make up sex.”
I just chuckled though I wasn’t fully at ease. She was

up to something, I could feel it in my gut. We
continued celebrating while I wanted to cook, Alfred
insisted that we order some food for ourselves and go
out that evening to celebrate properly. It was the
start of a brand new era and we were already thinking
of names for the casino.
Alfred: “Can you just imagine a casino right here in

Benoni?”
Biggie: “As long as I get to exchange dollars every now

and then I’m good.”
We had forgotten about those two and only realized

they were not part of the celebration after they
walked out of the bedroom an hour later with Zoro
smiling from ear to ear with Tshidi’s hand in his.
Biggie: (clearing throat) “The power of pussy.”
We all laughed.
Page 1161 of 1871

Zoro: (clicking tongue) “Ah, voetsek (piss off) Biggie.
My fiancée and I are proud to announce that we’re
expecting.”
Diesel: “Ja neh, wa kora sani (you can really score,

boy).”
That was a little insensitive considering what his own

girlfriend was going through regarding conception.
Zoro: “Yes, well, which brings us to my next request. I

know we had agreed that we’d have our wedding on
the 5th of March but since well Tshidi is expecting
we’d like to have it sooner.”
That was most probably her idea.
Alfred: “When were you thinking?”
Zoro: “Next weekend.”
Well she just couldn’t wait to get married to Zoro. I

even asked myself if it was really his baby to begin
with since everything felt so rushed. Alfred was more
Page 1162 of 1871

than happy about that because it was not going to
overshadow my birthday.
Alfred: “Well, I am fine with that. What about you

guys?”
We couldn’t really care for their wedding, but it just

seemed as if the guys wanted to make Zoro happy so
they agreed with smiles on their faces. At times even
the toughest soldier can be fooled by a woman.
Zoro: (smiling) “Thank you so much, guys. On that
note, you guys know that you’ll be my groomsmen, I
mean by default. But on that note, Tshidi has
something she would personally like to say.”
Tshidi was reluctant to say whatever it was until Zoro

nudged her.
Zoro: “Tshidi?”
Tshidi: (clearing throat) “Oh, yes, well, Kea, Priscilla

and Nombulelo, would you please be my
bridesmaids?”
Page 1163 of 1871

Fuck, that’s most definitely not what I wanted to do at
all, but what choice did I have? We were family after
all. Kea was the first one to jump towards her and
hug her, so Priscilla and I had to do the same. I felt
the coldness of her hug towards me and believe me
the energy was most definitely reciprocated. It felt as
if though Zoro forced her to say that. Above all that, I
survived my second week and saw my sister, Millicent
and the twins every second day. At times I’d spend
half the day with them and go back to Alfred’s house.
The bottom line is that he didn’t want me to live far
from him anymore. We had gone back to having sex,
with protection of course. I couldn’t say I was
enjoying it – I had no idea if it was the after effects of
the miscarriage or if it was because my love for him
had absolutely faded. I was just with him as a matter
of convenience but no matter how much I tried to
convince myself, a small part of me still loved him. I
survived yet another week of school, planning a way
forward with the Casino more especially since we had
found a land and made an immediate purchase to it.
All of us were business partners now. We were roped
into Tshidi the Bridezilla’s wedding plans and I was
sleep deprived due to that. She planned everything
lavish; from the ridiculously big wedding dress to the
Page 1164 of 1871

décor. She wanted a fairytale wedding and I had
never seen so many fairy lights and chandeliers in my
entire life. Her two sisters were just like her – very
forward as well. I was with Priscilla the entire time in
the bridal room while getting ready as they were
fussing all over her including Kea. Deep down Kea
must have been deeply hurt that she was still a Baby
Mama while Tshidi had just come in months prior and
already she was getting married. I could hear by her
low-key nasty comments.
Kea: “But, Tshidi, are you sure you’ll fit in that dress,
though friend? It seems a little too tight around the
tummy area.”
Tshidi: “In case you forgot, I’m pregnant – not fat.”
Kea: “I know, I was just asking hey. And those shoes?

Couldn’t you opt for flats or sneakers instead?”
Tshidi: (irritably) “How about I run my show the way I

see fit and you can do that if your day comes, okay?”
That if hit hard – even I felt it. I saw Kea’s face drop to
the ground while Tshidi was unapologetic about it.
Page 1165 of 1871

Their friendship reaked of fakeness it was not even a
joke. She had her hair done and everything was good
and ready. I loved our violet bridesmaid dresses,
though I felt like she intentionally chose a figure
hugging design strictly to make me look like the odd
one out since I didn’t have a curvy body or any bums
whatsoever. She wanted me to complain, but I
downright refused. They wanted me to wear a
weave, of which I also refused. My afro was just fine
for me with my flat ass. I owned it and my body didn’t
define me at all. Alfred lobed the way I looked and
that was enough for me. The wedding guests who
were invited were around 200. As to why she did that
only she knew. We had a strict program to adhere to
and we wore ridiculously high heels. I just couldn’t
wait for the ceremony to be over because I was not
about to subject myself to such torture much further.
It was as if she was deliberately taking her time
because whenever we tried to delay us by asking for a
touch up of her make up and re-checking of her dress
and all that. That was to deliberately annoy the rest
of us, but I just maintained my composure. I was not
about to moer someone who was about to get
married.
Page 1166 of 1871

Tshidi: “Okay, I am officially ready. We should really
make a toast, guys. I mean come on – we can’t let
any witches interfere with today, now can we?”
We had to pop yet another bottle right after her

sisters finished three already. They poured us each a
drink.
Tshidi: “I know you don’t drink, Lelo, hun, but it’s my

day and honestly what I say goes.”
Nombulelo: (fake smile) “Of course, whatever the

bride wants – the bride gets.”
Kea took it upon herself to be the very first one to

suck up to her.
Kea: (clearing throat) “I’d like to make a toast to my

bestie, Tshidi. I wish you everything that’s good and
all the best with your new baby. You and Zoro are
truly one of a kind and you suit each other so well.”
She called her her bestie yet she wasn’t even

considered to be a maid of honour.
Page 1167 of 1871

Tshidi: (faint smile) “Thanks, K. To Zo and I!”
Everyone: “Cheers.”
We drank up and I didn’t even finish mine. Alcohol

was just wrong for me. We proceeded to walk out
and she started giving out instructions yet again.
Tshidi: “Oh, my sisters will be first in the queue then

you Kea, Priscilla you will be right behind her and then
of course, last but not least – you, Lelo.”
She gave me one of her fake smiles but I really didn’t

care. I served the very same energy she was serving
me. We started walking out one by one and I saw just
how handsome Alfred looked on the altar. He was a
real motherfucker but that guy was really hot. They
all looked so handsome, even Biggie himself. Zoro
seemed so happy, I couldn’t understsand what was so
special about Tshidi. It was not as if she was the glue
that held us together, though. Once I was done
walking down the aisle, I saw Alfred blow me a kiss
from his side. After all said and done, it was finally
time for the bride herself. She was walking down the
aisle alone with Beyonce’s Halo playing. She didn’t
Page 1168 of 1871

have any parents or something like that, I truly wasn’t
interested when it came to her. I wasn’t her number
one fan, but she really looked beautiful, though the
dress was too big for me. It accentuated her curves
and we could see her bossom clearly. The way she
was walking so slowly, we could all tell she had been
dying for that day to come. Once she was there, I
started counting the minutes because my feet felt like
they were about to give in. They said their vows and
it felt like eternity because the pastor was praying in
between. Zoro looked really happy to be honest, and
I couldn’t help but notice the tinge of sadness in Kea’s
eyes and when she looked at Biggie when the two
exchanged rings, I knew that she was feeling the hurt,
shame. Priscilla was unbothered while Diesel had all
eyes on her, she tried to avoid eye contact with him at
all costs. The girl was over him, shame. Finally I heard
the magic words “you may kiss the bride”. They had
one long French kiss. I could never do that, but it was
her day and as she said what she wanted she got.
They finally walked down the aisle and we followed
them with each of our partners in our arms.
Alfred: (whispering) “You look so beautiful.”
Page 1169 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Thank you. It’s a pity you can see my
non-existent ass in this dress.”
Alfred: “There’s more to a woman than just looks.

You don’t need an ass – you have the entire package.”
He kissed my cheek and put me at ease. I saw how

everyone looked in their dresses and then there was
me. Even one of her sisters who was quite skinny had
some bums yet I had none, but I was okay with it to
be honest. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have said I
had white genes in me. The nice part about the
venue was that right after the ceremony we just had
to walk across to reach the reception venue. I took
off my shoes right there and then.
Alfred: “Here, let me hold them for you and you can
hold your bouquet.”
He didn’t mind at all.
Page 1170 of 1871

One of Tshidi’s sisters came rushing towards me and
almost demanded that I put my shoes back on,
leaving Alfred beyond irritated.
Alfred: (angrily) “Ska ntlwaela masepa (don’t fuck with

me), Mmathapelo. Stay in your lane and enjoy your
sister’s wedding. I wouldn’t want you to end up with
a broken nose.”
She immediately backed off. That’s one of the things I

liked about him – he would stick up for me no matter
what. The reception continued and the speeches felt
like such a drag. We didn’t really care for any of it
since the guys were just drinking to pass the time and
we indulged in the starters while they were busy
speaking. What alerted us was Jerry the detective
appearing out of nowhere. He was not even on the
guest list, or was he? He wasn’t dressed in uniform,
which made me think that perhaps he knew someone
who knew him from Tshidi’s family. He came straight
to our table and looked me right in the eye, which
made me feel like he had come to warn me
specifically.
Jerry: “Greetings
Page 1171 of 1871

gangsters. Are you enjoying your friends’ wedding?”
Alfred: (angrily) “What do you want here, Jerry?”
Jerry: (chuckling) “Oh, one of these days you’ll be

addressing me with the respect I deserve. I’m a
detective.”
Biggie: “We don’t give a fuck. What do you want?”
Jerry: “Oh, nothing. I just came to witness two love

birds get married. Is that so much of a crime?”
Diesel: “Who invited you?”
All the while he didn’t leave my eyes for a second.
Jerry: “Oh, let’s just say that Watville is very small,

hey. I just know someone who knows someone.”
Alfred: “Well, we don’t give a fuck if you know

someone who knows someone. Take a seat or fuck
off. You’re interrupting the show.”
Page 1172 of 1871

Jerry: “Well, I didn’t mean to upset you, Alfred. Enjoy
the rest of your day, Nombulelo Makeba. I shall see
you soon.”
The emphasis was on the you. He walked away and

we thought that he was leaving but he went to sit at
another table. Something didn’t feel right, I could feel
it in my gut.
I just nodded in silence.
Priscilla: “Why was he looking at you like that?”
Alfred: “I am asking myself the very same question.”
Priscilla: “I’ll see what I can find out. Something

doesn’t feel right about this entire situation.”
Diesel: “Someone must have invited him.”
We finally got to the main course and Alfred tried to

put me at ease about Jerry.
Page 1173 of 1871

Alfred: “Go on and eat, baby. Don’t worry about that
guy, he is small fry. He probably came here to
intimidate you specifically because you are the
youngest member here.”
I tried by all means to brush it off but my gut refused.

I started analyzing everything and everyone around
me. His body language spoke volumes. Jerry was
relaxed and watching us like someone who had come
to confirm something. After the main course, it was
the first dance time. Zoro and Tshidi were dancing to
their favourite song. He still didn’t budge and was
looking at me the entire time. After the first dance
people started dancing and then Tshidi disappeared. I
assumed she had gone to the rest room. I felt like I
needed some air so I told Alfred I needed the
bathroom.
Alfred: “Ke go khape (should I go with you)?”
Nombulelo: “No, love, it’s okay. I’ll be right back.”
He kissed me and I walked away. It wasn’t too long

that I saw Jerry speak to Tshidi at one of the
balconies. I couldn’t make out what was being said,
Page 1174 of 1871

but those two most definitely knew one another. My
suspicions had been confirmed, she was plotting
something. I wasn’t sure if it was only against me or
the entire crew. Their body language told me that
they knew each other quite well. She was even
laughing with him at some point. I could feel my
blood boiling so I decided to make my presence
known. She was rather shocked to see that I noticed
them.
Nombulelo: “Oh, I knew you knew someone but I

didn’t think that someone was the bride herself,
detective.”
Tshidi looked as if she would piss herself right there

and then.
Jerry: (chuckling) “Oh, I never said it was her in

particular.”
Nombulelo: “You didn’t have to. I mean, this speaks

for itself, doesn’t it?”
Jerry: “Well, I will catch you some other time, Tshidi.

And you, Miss Makeba, I will see you very soon. If I
Page 1175 of 1871

were you, I’d push to write my semester tests because
I doubt you will even write your June Exams.”
With that said, he just left my mouth hanging, while

Tshidi looked riddled with panic.
Tshidi: “Are you alone? How did you see me?”
I just looked at her and I could see she was guilty.

Knowing her, it would have been pointless to question
her because she was never going to let me in on her
dirty little secret, so I decided to leave her hanging
and give her a long rope. I just walked away and I
could sense her panicking even with my back facing
her. I went back to Alfred looking very confused.
Alfred: “What is it? Are you okay?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I just needed some air.”
Alfred: “Is it about Jerry?”
Nombulelo: “No, don’t worry about him. He is small

fry as you said.”
Page 1176 of 1871

He smiled back while Tshidi could not keep her eyes
off me. She kept wondering if I had spilled the beans
but she should have known long before then that I
was no snitch. I enjoyed the rest of the day
irregardless of her pulling weird stunts. She failed to
enjoy the day much further because her sins were
eating her up. She retreated even much sooner as it
was said that she had a bad case of diarrhea. The
guests didn’t mind, I mean it was a black wedding
after all. They intended to leave up until the DJ said it
was time to leave. I couldn’t stay that long, I was tired
to be honest so I asked Alfred if we could leave at
10pm. He was more than happy to take me home.
My altercation with Tshidi and Jerry was playing in my
mind the entire time, but I couldn’t exactly tell Alfred.
He was not going to take it well and it was going to
land on Zoro’s ears sooner rather than later. So, I
decided to keep quiet for a while. The following
weak, we started with the preparations for building
the casino. They were approved and we got started
right away. By the time it was my birthday, they were
only left with the top floor to build. The construction
company was paid heftily to get the project moving as
fast as possible. The morning of my birthday, I woke
up with a heavy heart most probably because I
Page 1177 of 1871

dreamt of Michelle. She was smiling at me and sang
happy birthday to me. When I woke up, it felt so real
that I found myself crying.
Alfred: “Ah, baby, you can’t be crying like this on your

18th birthday.”
Nombulelo: (sobbing) “I’m sorry. I just had a dream of

Michelle. It felt so real.”
Alfred: “It’s okay, I understand. We lose people in life

all the time but to make them happy, we have to keep
living. That’s the beauty of life, it goes on though.”
I understood what he was saying but I was a little sad.

He made me breakfast in bed and surprised me with
an envelope. It was a Saturday morning.
Nombulelo: “What is this?”
Alfred: “Well, if you open it you will be able to find

out.”
I opened it carefully and found two plane tickets to

Cape Town.
Page 1178 of 1871

Nombulelo: (surprised) “You’re taking me to Cape
Town?”
Alfred: “Yes, my love. We’re flying business class at

midday, which gives you more than enough time to
pack what you can.”
I was quite excited but deep down I knew I was meant

to spend that day with my best friend. We got into
the shower and had a little quickie. I was still very
confused about our sex life at that point but the show
had to go on. He was always on time and the crew
video called me since we were already on our way to
the airport by then. It was my very first time in an
airplane and I think the reason why I had so much
attachment towards Alfred was the fact that I had so
many firsts with him. We arrived around 5pm at our
Hotel. I wasn’t really tired and I appreciated the view
over Sea Point. It was just marvelous. The first thing
he did for me was take me on a date for two. We
dressed up and went for dinner. There were candles
everywhere and he had booked out the entire
restaurant just for me. I thought such things only
happened in movies. He really outdid himself, to be
Page 1179 of 1871

honest. When we were halfway done with our meal,
he told me that he had a surprise for me waiting
outside as soon as we were done eating. When I
walked out, he had my eyes blindfolded and aided me
with walking. Once he removed it, I found a gorgeous
red VW Golf 7 waiting for me right outside. The
excitement in me clouded my judgment. I couldn’t
have been seen driving such an expensive car around,
it was going to raise suspicions – suspicions people
already had and were raising.
Nombulelo: “Bathong (goodness) Alfred. Do you have

any idea how expensive this car is?”
Alfred: “Yes, hence I bought it for you. Do you like it?”
Nombulelo: “Are you kidding me?! Who doesn’t like a

Golf 7?!”
Alfred: “Well, then, let’s take it for a spin.”
I didn’t have my license but as he said, he took care of

that. I could drive like a pro by then. No wonder he
ensured that I became perfect at driving for the
weeks leading up to my birthday. Just by getting into
Page 1180 of 1871

that car I felt like I was sitting luxury. When I started it
and revved the engine I knew that I was already sold.
I was already in love with it though I was driving it
carefully. He booked us into the hotel for three
nights, though I had school but I was done with tests.
I was just reeling in the idea that we were about to
build an empire that missing a few days of school felt
like it was no big deal. I had the best birthday of my
life that weekend. We were taking pictures of
everything and anything and he kept posting each
one of them and tagging me. Another thing that
drags people down is social media. It doesn’t take the
police too long to notice your expenditure when you
post so much of your life. By the time I had to go back
home, I felt like a real woman. 18 had never felt so
good.
Two months later…
The casino took roughly three months to build seeing

that we wanted to finish quicker than usual, we opted
for just two floors. It was truly amazing to see what
they had done with the place. Ever since I saw Tshidi
with Jerry, she had been on edge whenever I was
around. I hadn’t told anyone and she gathered but
Page 1181 of 1871

felt like I held it over her head in case of emergency. I
wasn’t bothered by her at all. I did well with my first
term at school and my exams were approaching. The
twins were growing really well while Michelle was
thriving at school. Nairobi was seen painting the town
red every other night and told me straight to back out
of her life so that is exactly what I did. I was just
happy that the vision I had seen was finally about to
take form. It was the night of the casino launch and I
was beyond excited. Alfred seemed to have been
thriving in our relationship and life itself. Tshidi was
around 5 months pregnant by then. I don’t know
how that happened but it is what it is. Priscilla was
still delaying with setting a wedding date which left
Diesel with much frustration, while Kea and Biggie
were having relationship troubles of their own. Ever
since Tshidi and Zoro’s wedding, she had changed
towards him and kept nagging him for a wedding, but
he wouldn’t budge. Still though, she remained loyal
to the crew. I remember I was getting dressed that
evening with Alfred though I was troubled by a dream
I had of my mother. She still asked me the same
question she asked me few months prior; “what on
earth do you think you’re doing?” I never answered
her and she just faded away but the entire time all I
Page 1182 of 1871

kept thinking of was that dream. I was just not myself
to say the least that day. I was very clumsy and out of
queue that even Alfred noticed. He attributed it to
me being nervous. We drove to the venue in my Golf
7 and the rest of the crew was waiting for us. Til this
day I hate the colour red because the theme was red
and black. I remember I was wearing a red evening
gown and the way I looked like such a goddess, Alfie
said to me that I looked like the Black version of
royalty that evening. Bongani was our MC and our
guest list was filled with important people who ran
the country. We had a red carpet and photographers
all over.
Bongani: “Attention everyone, if we could just make

our way into the venue, please.”
We were about to walk in when we saw the infamous

blue lights and those hideous police vehicles. We
were not cowards, so we stopped to see why the
police were interrupting the biggest night of our lives.
Jerry was the first one to walk out followed by Nkuna.
He seemed so confident and there were about 5 or 6
vans right behind him.
Page 1183 of 1871

Zoro: (angrily) “What the fuck, Jerry?!”
Jerry: “Oh, I am so sorry to interrupt your beautiful

evening, but I am afraid you all are under arrest.”
The shock in our eyes, we thought it was one of his

stunts yet again. The photographers didn’t stop
taking pictures and I knew that I would have been all
over the news by midnight.
Alfred: “Under arrest for what?”
Jerry was so dramatic, he took out a paper and

started reading.
Jerry: “You are all under arrest for conducting heists,

infiltrating government property, impostering the
police, withholding evidence, defeating the ends of
justice and of course, how can we all forget the
murders of Puseletso and Pulane Makgatho.”
When he mentioned the two and not just one, I knew

then that we were all in deep shit. It was going to be
a lot harder to crawl out of that shit hole. I
remembered my mother’s words; “what do you think
Page 1184 of 1871

you’re doing?” I knew then that I wasn’t going to go
back home immediately. The smile on Jerry’s face
showed me that he had more than he needed. That
conversation between him and Tshidi rang through
my mind. That guy had nailed us right where he
needed. That evening was the last time I spoke to
Alfred before we were wheeled straight to jail.
2 Thesalonians 2:8 – “And then the lawless one will be

revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will kill with the breath
of his mouth and bring to nothing by the appearance
of his coming.”
Chapter 56
1 Corinthians 10:12 – “Therefore let anyone who
thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.”
The aura around that evening was completely

different than the night Pulane fell down the balcony
at Zoro’s house. We were not given a choice to follow
them in our own car, we were taken in with handcuffs
tightly around our wrists. It was actually not the first
time I was cuffed but it was the first time I felt like a
criminal. What surprised me was that the very people
who aided us in the heist, the ministers and army
managers were quiet. Perhaps they were trying to lie
Page 1185 of 1871

low – I don’t know but they did shady deals with us
behind closed doors and when shit hit the fan they
didn’t want to be associated with us. Bongani was the
only one trying to calm the situation.
Bongani: “Ekse (hey), officers – “
Jerry: “Detective!”
Bongani: “Sure, whatever Jerry. These are my clients

and we have a very important evening tonight. Why
do you always have to spoil everything?”
Jerry: (chuckling) “Wena (you), you should be

ashamed of being called a lawyer. I know how far you
go to get your hands dirty and one day I will get you. I
have a warrant of arrest and I am sure you know how
it works. So, in short, I am taking in your clients for
questioning and they will have their prints taken. An
official investigation is opened against them. If you
have a problem, you know the procedure.”
Jerry was done taking shit from all of us. He was not
very gentle with any of us but he was quite rough
with me particularly, angering Alfred.
Page 1186 of 1871

Alfred: “Ah, man, tsek (piss off), Jerry! That’s my
woman you’re shoving right there!”
Jerry: “You have one big mouth Alfred Skosana. I’d be

quiet if I were you.”
He threw me right in the back of the van like an

animal. I had no idea what I had done to him but I
was sure to find out why he hated me so much.
Nombulelo: “I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”
Alfred: (angrily) “Jerry has gone too fucking far now.”
What surprised us all was that Tshidi was taken to the

front seat like the madame of the house.
Priscilla: (angrily) “Why the fuck does she get to have

a seat?! We’re all charged here, aren’t we?!”
Jerry: “Shut the fuck up! She’s pregnant.”
Page 1187 of 1871

Zoro was separated from us along with Biggie and
Diesel. Kea was in another van by herself at the back,
while Priscilla, Alfred and I were in one van. That for
me was the perfect time to tell Alfred and Priscilla
what I had witnessed months prior. I waited for the
sirens to go off because they were so loud they
couldn’t hear what we were saying to one another in
the back. Once Jerry drove off like the drama queen
he was, the sirens went off indeed and I started
singing.
Nombulelo: “Alfie, do you remember how Jerry

rocked up at the wedding and he said he knew
someone who knew someone?”
Alfred: “Yes, why? Did he say something to you?”
Nombulelo: “I saw him talking to Tshidi just moments

before he left. They seemed to have some sort of
deal they were cooking.”
Alfred and Priscilla were both shocked.
Alfred: “Why didn’t you tell me?!”
Page 1188 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I didn’t think we’d end up here and
besides, I didn’t hear what they were talking about.”
Priscilla: “Oh, no. This explains why she has been so

on edge whenever you’re around. Oh, shit. Do you
think she sold you out?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know but why me particularly?”
Priscilla: “Do you remember how you lost your phone

straight after the heist?”
That hit me straight to my core and I felt like I had

instant diarrhea. I lost my phone and with all the
chaos and excitement I never bothered to follow up. I
just blocked my icloud and Alfie bought me a new
one.
Alfred: (shaking head) “This is some complicated

bullshit.”
We couldn’t say anything further to one another

because the moment the car was parked, we were
dragged out of there like animals. Of course the press
was ready and cameras were flashing. No matter
Page 1189 of 1871

how much we tried to swear at them it was pointless,
they were going to take as many pictures of us as
possible. Despite us being so many, it was as if the
police station was cleared just for us. Our prints were
taken with mug shots. It was getting real. I couldn’t
believe that I was not just a suspect but I was an
accused. I wasn’t sure how to feel but the feeling was
not pleasant at all. We were taken into separate cells;
females together and males together. At least we
were still in the police station holding cells and not
actual prison. I mean, it was nothing like what I used
to see on TV. The beds were anything but
comfortable and there was barely any privacy. That
was the least of my worries though. Kea, Priscilla and
I were thrown in there like a bunch of dogs while
Tshidi was taking rather far too long to come. I
assumed she was taken into questioning first but we
waited about thirty minutes before she was put into
our cell. My blood was boiling the moment I saw her.
I wanted to strangler her to death.
Priscilla: “Why are you the last one to be brought in

here?”
Page 1190 of 1871

We didn’t even mind the rest of the women in that
cell, our main focus was on Tshidi. We hovered over
her like a den of animals.
Tshidi: (nervously) “How am I supposed to know? I

am just as clueless as the rest of you.”
Priscilla: “Are you really?”
Nombulelo: “What were you and Jerry talking about

that day at your wedding?”
The moment had come for me to oust her. It was a

pity it was rather late.
Tshidi: “I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Kea: (angrily) “Did you sell us out, Tshidi?!”
Tshidi: (nervously) “I didn’t do anything. Why are you

crowding me, guys? I’m pregnant in case you forgot.
Give me some space, please.”
Priscilla and I treaded carefully while Kea was more

than upset. She was livid. She just couldn’t cope with
Page 1191 of 1871

Tshidi’s non-responsiveness and grabbed her by the
throat. I had never seen her that angry.
Kea: (angrily) “Wa nyela wena (you’re full of shit)! I

could kill you right here! I thought we were friends!”
We were trying to stop her from attacking her further

and one of the other ladies in the cell managed to get
the officer’s attention. They quickly opened the cell
when they realized Kea wasn’t about to let go of
Tshidi. When she was finally pulled away from her,
Tshidi was coughing and gasping for air. She was so
red in the face and Kea was not even spite about her
actions. Tshidi was taken away for “examination” but I
didn’t buy it at all. Something was not right.
Kea: (angrily) “I don’t care what the fuck happens but

I am taking the first deal I get – even if it means having
to sell the both of you out.”
Priscilla and I expected that from her so we didn’t

even act shocked.
Priscilla: “You can save that for Jerry, love. We know

you’d do it. I mean I wouldn’t be surprised if you and
Page 1192 of 1871

Tshidi have been planning this entire thing for months
on end.”
She looked at Priscilla and then at me and was quite

frustrated not to receive the reaction she was
expecting.
Kea: “Oh, I see. You two forged your own little

friendship and now you’re against me.”
Nombulelo: “Grow the fuck up, Kea. You already have

a plan of what you’re going to say in there, so do it.
You want to throw us in hot water?! Fucking do it!”
She was the first one to be called in, which was a relief
for me because I needed to get my facts straight with
Priscilla.
Nombulelo: “Do you think Jerry has tangible evidence

against us?”
Priscilla: “I don’t know, but I have a feeling that Tshidi

did you dirty. But don’t worry, I won’t do that to you.”
Page 1193 of 1871

Nombulelo: (shaking head) “No, Priscilla, you have a
child to worry about.”
Priscilla: “My family can take care of her. You have

siblings to worry about, including your twin siblings.
You can’t expect me to throw you into the lion’s den
like that. If you go down – I go down with you.”
Nombulelo: “What are you saying?”
Priscilla: “We don’t snitch – they will try to play us

against one another but I won’t allow them to. We
don’t snitch until we hear what they have to say in
court.”
She was dead serious, she was willing to sacrifice her

freedom for me.
Nombulelo: “But you’ll have a criminal record.”
Priscilla: “I’ve been in the game for long enough to

know that I’ll probably never have a proper job
anywhere, hun and it’s honestly okay. I can survive
prison if I need to go there. I am just worried about
Page 1194 of 1871

you. I am doing this for you, whatever happens, let’s
stick together.”
I was honestly humbled by her suggestion and she

was called in right after Kea was sent back to the cell.
She remained mum and refused to speak to me
which I was okay with. I already knew that she told
them everything negative to get me to be the bad
guy. If the police were really smart they’d have
thought I was co-erced into doing all those things. I
was just a teenager. After Priscilla came back, it was
my turn. As always, I was the last one to be
questioned. What surprised me was that Bongani
was not in there with me. I mean, he represented us
all so surely he was supposed to be there. Jerry was
quite chuffed with himself. Nkuna was not present, I
thought since they had their hands full that evening
and the guys must have been going rogue.
Jerry: (smiling) “So, Miss Makeba, we meet again as I

promised.”
Nombulelo: “I see you’ve kept your promise.”
Jerry: (laughing) “Oh, still as sarcastic as ever.”
Page 1195 of 1871

He laid out his file slowly and patiently leaving me
quite impatient.
Jerry: “Right, let’s get right to it. State your name and
surname, please.”
He switched on his recorder, but I refused.
Nombulelo: “I won’t state or say anything without a

lawyer present.”
Jerry: “Okay then, that’s fine by me.”
He started speaking towards the recorder.
Jerry: “This is detective Jerry Masombuka,

questioning accused number 8, Miss Nombulelo
Makeba on 8 May, case number 8/05/2000.”
He placed the recorder onto the table and started

speaking to me with so much confidence as usual.
Jerry: “Right, I will retrace your steps a little by going

back to previous incidents, okay? If you remember
Page 1196 of 1871

correctly the last time you were questioned regarding
Pulane’s incident you said that she fell from the
balcony, am I correct?”
I just stared at him blankly each time he asked me a

question.
Jerry: “Hmm, you still don’t want to say anything

incriminating. I like your “I’m no snitch vibe”. Let’s
see how long it will last. Well, your boyfriend also said
she fell, but well
Matshidiso has a different theory. She still claims that
you forced your boyfriend to push her down the
stairs.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “So, you brought me here over

heresay?”
Jerry: “Oh, I thought you might say that.”
He took out his phone and started playing a

recording. What I heard sent chills down my spine. It
was a recorded conversation between Zoro and
Tshidi.
Page 1197 of 1871

Tshidi: “Zo, kgante keng ka wena (what’s with you)?
Why don’t you just go to the cops and tell the truth?”
Zoro: “What truth, mara (though), Matshidiso? Hayi

(no), man let me be.”
Tshidi: “You know very well that she forced him to

push her down that balcony. We were all here and
we heard her screaming.”
Zoro: “You see, that’s your problem. You just like

stirring trouble much like Puseletso. I don’t get why
you just can’t shut up. I chose you for a reason but it
seems as if though I am going to regret it.”
Tshidi: “What are you saying, Zo? What the fuck are
you saying to me?”
Zoro: “I am saying learn to have peace within your

heart and stay out of trouble before you end up like
Puse and her sister.”
Tshidi: “Oh? Is this what you do to women in your

crew, vele (though)?!”
Page 1198 of 1871

Zoro: “Why are you acting surprised now,
Matshidiso? You knew very well what happened to
her. Did I not pitch at your house right after it
happened? Did you not ask me why I had blood
stains on my shirt and I told you the truth that
evening?! Did we not fuck straight after I killed her?!
Don’t act so fucking innocent and give me a damn
break!”
I heard him slam the door behind him and that was
the end of that recording. I could feel the nerves
getting to me. That guy had Zo’s house bugged, most
probably the evening after Pulane died but what I did
know was that it could not be used in court. It was
against the law to record someone without their
knowledge or consent. I wasn’t too worried about
him using it in court, I was worried about what else he
had on recordings and whom he was set to use it
against. He stopped the recording and looked me
straight in the eye with his sly smile. He then played
the second one without asking me anything. It was
yet another recording between Tshidi and Zoro, but
on one of their rather happier days. They were
giggling at first and then they started talking.
Page 1199 of 1871

Tshidi: (sigh) “Oh, I cannot wait for this whole casino
planning to be over. I am so exhausted you know. I
just want this baby out of me already.”
Zoro: (laughing) “Tshidi, you’re only three months

pregnant you know.”
Tshidi: “I know, but it is exhausting carrying another

human being.”
Zoro: “Well, you just have to be patient with the

casino. Remember we are building a legacy for all our
children.”
Tshidi: “Yes, well is it just me or have you noticed

anything funny with Mastermind’s behaviour?”
Zoro: “What do you mean?”
Tshidi: “I mean ever since he and Lelo created this

entire mega plan for the heist he’s been all over her.”
Zoro: “I don’t know, maybe he feels guilty for cheating

on her – I don’t know but one thing I do know is that
he loves her very much.”
Page 1200 of 1871

Tshidi: “Or perhaps he still blames her for killing their
twins.”
Zoro: “She didn’t kill them, she took a pill and had no
idea that it would affect her pregnancy like that. I told
you that in confidence so why do you still feel the
need to repeat it?”
Tshidi: “I’m sorry, I just thought we were having a

conversation.”
Zoro: “We should be talking about us – not my friends

and their relationships.”
Jerry ended that recording and his eyes still never

moved from mine. I started getting nervous but I
tried by all means to hide it from him. He then played
the third recording. It was a conversation between
the guys and it seemed like we were not around – I
couldn’t really tell.
Zoro: “Here are the beers, my guys.”
Biggie: “Ah, bjanong nama (what about the meat)?”
Page 1201 of 1871

Zoro: “Ah, Bigz, o ja thata le wena (you eat so much
though). It’s coming.”
They laughed while he scoffed.
Diesel: “Eish gents, a ke gane ka mo rata medi ya ka

neh (I know I love my woman very much), but I am
glad that we’re away from them today.”
Biggie: “Ah wena (oh you). Your sins are finally eating
at you. You shouldn’t have impregnated Nairobi in
the first place.”
Zoro: “I agree with Biggie on this one. She’s so young,

though. How peadophilic of you, though.”
Diesel: “Ah, no man, Zo. Call me anything but a

peadophile. Besides, I wasn’t thinking straight and
she came at me despite me refusing multiple times.”
Zoro: “And so you just gave in, neh? O sentse (you

messed up).”
Page 1202 of 1871

Diesel: “At least I didn’t kill the mother of my
children.”
Zoro: “We all know that had to be done. It was long

overdue anyway.”
Just like that, Zoro implicated himself and the rest of

them by admitting to first degree pre-mediated
murder.
Biggie: “Ah, le wena o bile drastic (you were just so

drastic).”
Zoro: “Says the one who has an open relationship

with his baby mama.”
Biggie: “I don’t see Kea complaining, so why are you

complaining?”
Diesel: “And then wena (you)? Why are you so quiet,

Alfie?”
The three of them laughed but I didn’t hear him

laughing.
Page 1203 of 1871

Alfred: “Ag, I am just deep in thought. It’s nothing
major.”
Zoro: “You are never this deep in thought unless you

have serious woes. Talk to us.”
Alfred: (sigh) “I’m just saddened by losing our twins. I

was really looking forward to be a father to those girls,
you know.”
Biggie: “Askies (sorry), mfo (bro). I think we all know

how that feels.”
Diesel: “At least she can carry your children for you.
Priscilla will most probably blame me for eternity.”
Zoro: “It’s not easy being her, so give her a break,

Diesel.”
Alfred: “At times I cannot help but feel as if though

perhaps she induced the miscarriage on purpose, you
know.”
They all seemed shocked because there was silence

for a while.
Page 1204 of 1871

Zoro: “What do you mean?”
Alfred: “I mean she took Tramadol apparently when

she had pains. She said she can’t remember how
many she took, but even Baba confirmed that that
was the cause of the miscarriage.”
Biggie: “Fuck.”
Diesel: (angrily) “And she’s still alive?!”
Zoro: “Ema nyana wena (wait a minute man).”
Alfred: “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I

won’t kill her, if that’s what you are insinuating. I love
her and I see a future with her.”
Biggie: “I have to agree with Alfred on this one. I

mean, Nombulelo is the strongest girl we have in this
crew. Let’s be honest, none of us have been bold
enough to think of all the plans she came up with.
She is the queen of heists.”
Page 1205 of 1871

Fuck, I was exposed just like that. I looked Jerry
straight in the eye despite being so nervous. I knew if
I were to move my eyes from his he would know that I
was guilty in an instant.
Zoro: “Yes, she is. She has taken us to newer heights

and I don’t mean any disrespect, but none of the girls
could ever think so far. I mean look at this cash in
transit heist she thought of. R150 million?! We are
set for life.”
He cut that recording and looked me in the eye. He

played the last recording for me, the most damning
recording of them all. It made me want to kill her.
Tshidi: “Hey, sorry I couldn’t talk, I was busy with

something and couldn’t get away from Zo.”
I heard Jerry’s voice speaking to Tshidi, I mean I swore

it was his though I didn’t know him at all. I wasn’t
really sure.
Man: “Did you do it?”
Page 1206 of 1871

Tshidi: “Yes, but fuck it wasn’t easy you know. I swear,
if you weren’t a cop I’d have killed you myself.”
Man: “Well, no one saw you did, they?”
Tshidi: “No, but that stupid bitch was nice enough to

let me use her bathroom. I had to creep into her
bedroom quickly and take her phone. All the
information you need is in there. Check her cloud as
well. You have all the evidence you need.”
Man: “Well, that’s good. You did well, Matshidiso.

We will soon get this to come to an end. I hate
sleeping alone at night and the thought of you and my
unborn son being touched by that ugly guy every
night makes my blood boil.”
I wasn’t a stupid girl but the phone call confused me

to the core. Was Matshidiso cheating on Zoro? And
she took my phone?! I fucking knew that she had set
me up that day.
Tshidi: “It will all be over, baby, I promise. I mean you

know I only love you and you only.”
Page 1207 of 1871

Man: “Okay, tell my son I love him very much.”
Tshidi: “I will. I have to go. Bye Jerry.”
Man: “Bye. Love you.”
She hung up before she could even say the words

back. I wanted to crash right there and then. If I had
hypertension I would have probably had a stroke. Shit
had most definitely hit the fan. I had no idea what
Matshidiso was and how I just didn’t see it coming.
Was she a spy? Was she an undercover cop? Or was
she someone who just fell in love with Zoro? The shit
just didn’t make any sense. Whatever it was, it
seemed as if I was the one in the deepest hole of
them all. I had the biggest burden to carry and that’s
when the plea deals started. It felt as if though my
fate had been sealed. My entire life was on that
cellphone. Jerry had everything he needed on me
and Alfred specifically. I was in deep shit and I could
feel it.
As saidn in John 8:32 – “And you will know the truth,

and the truth will set you free.”
Chapter 57
Page 1208 of 1871

promise as some count slowness, but is patient
toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but
Tings were spiraling out of control for me without me

even being questioned. Jerry was having such a field
day as he looked at me. He was just waiting for me to
crack, but he was not going to get that.
Jerry: “Now, are you ready to talk?”
Nombulelo: “Weren’t you the one who told me I have

the right to remain silent?”
Jerry: “Oh, of course you do, but I doubt that would

be favourable to you.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t care what you think. I am not

saying anything. And I want my lawyer.”
Jerry: (chuckling) “Oh, you mean that crooked lawyer

of yours? He is a lawyer to everyone in your little
crew. Let’s see if he will be willing to represent you as
well.”
Page 1209 of 1871

With that said Jerry packed up his dockets and files
along with his recording devices and I was taken back
to the holding cell. Priscilla looked rearlly concerned
about me and she hugged me the moment I walked
into the cell while Kea was still not speaking to us. We
sat in our own little corner but of course, jail cells had
no privacy.
Priscilla: “Are you okay? You seem so worried.”
Nombulelo: “I can’t believe what I just heard.”
Priscilla: “What do you mean?”

I decided to give her a short summary of what
happened in that interrogation room.
Nombulelo: “Zo’s house was bugged, Jerry has tons of

evidence against us – me at most. Tshidi is expecting
Jerry’s child. I am not sure if she is in the police force
or what.”
While Priscilla was still absorbing her shock, Kea

jumped up and started asking me questions.
Page 1210 of 1871

Kea: (shocked) “What?! What do you mean she
might be in the police force?!”
Nombulelo: “I mean back the fuck up, Keamogetswe!

You’re not my friend – you’ve never been. You swore
to us that you would sell us out without even
blinking. Now you are eavesdropping on our
conversation?”
Kea: “In case you haven’t noticed – we’re all in jail.”
Nombulelo: “You should have noticed that the

moment you walked in here. I don’t even know what
you said to that faggot in there and for all I know, you
might have sold me out as well now fuck off!”
She knew I wasn’t kidding and so, she sat right across
us and tried to listen in on whatever she could.
Priscilla: “This is really bad, babe. But we all know

that those recordings cannot be used in court.”
Nombulelo: “Yes, they cannot but they have enough

evidence against me to convict me. She took my
Page 1211 of 1871

cellphone and planted it at the scene of the original
heist van, Priscilla. I am screwed.”
Priscilla: “No, you’re not – we’re both screwed.”
Nombulelo: “No, you are not going to sacrifice

yourself for me – you’re not.”
Priscilla: “Either way, you are not going to be arrested

alone. Yes, he also played some tapes for me but
completely different ones where I am implicated. It
seems as though it was their game all along. I should
have seen it coming. Tshidi has probably been
undercover from way back when she was just Zoro’s
side chick. Who knows what evidence she has been
collecting all this time against us?”
Nombulelo: “Do you think that the guys are singing

where they are now?”
Priscilla: “All I know is that I can never trust Diesel

wholeheartedly. In fact, you shouldn’t trust Alfred
either. They’d be willing to sink us and keep their kids,
that’s how they are.”
Page 1212 of 1871

Nombulelo: “So what’s your plan?”
Priscilla: “I don’t know but I didn’t say anything. I

want to hear if we’ll be able to get a bail hearing or
not. The fact that we still haven’t seen Bongani
doesn’t give me peace at all.”
Nombulelo: “You really think they’d go that far after

all we’ve done for them?”
Priscilla: “They’d do that and more especially after all

we’ve done for them.”
My soul just wasn’t at ease. We sat there and waited

and counted the minutes that turned into hours. We
didn’t even have the time on us, but we kept on
counting. After a long while the three of us were
called.
Officer: “Your lawyer is here.”
We were taken to one of the interrogation rooms

together and found Bongani there. For some reason I
wasn’t relieved judging by the look on his face.
Knowing him, he could solve any situation we were in
Page 1213 of 1871

no matter how water-tight the evidence was against
us.
Bongani: (smiling) “How are you ladies? Are you

well?”
Priscilla: “I don’t know, what do you think, Bongani?

Do we look well?”
Kea: “What’s the status? Am I getting out of here?”
Kea seemed so concerned about herself and herself

only.
Bongani: “No, unfortunately not. Neither of you are

getting out of here anytime soon.”
Nombulelo: “Just be frank with us.”
Bongani: “Hmm, Jerry has tons of evidence against

you all, mostly you, Nombulelo. Your cellphone was
found on the scene and all the evidence is there. Let
me just say that the guys are not very happy about
that, specifically Alfred.”
Page 1214 of 1871

I was confused, I mean sure he was a lawyer and was
supposed to be on our side, but he made it seem like I
was the reason we were all in there. My hunch told
me not to trust him.
Nombulelo: “I don’t get it, we all benefitted from that

heist so how can you even say such?”
Bongani: “Look, I’m just saying what I have observed.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, what you observed and not what

they told you?”
Bongani: “Look, the bottom line is that they found all

your prints on the scene.”
It didn’t make any sense to me; we didn’t even touch

the original van and we wiped the police vans we
were using. He too was present so why wasn’t his
name mentioned?
Kea: “What does this mean for me?”
Bongani: “It means that you’re all going to prison.”
Page 1215 of 1871

My heart sank while Priscilla seemed so ready to
accept her fate. Kea on the other hand started crying.
Bongani: “You two could take a plea bargain.”
He was referring to both Kea and Priscilla.
Bongani: “If you confess and say that yes, you were
part of the heist but had nothing to do with the
murders and you had no idea that the two sisters
were going to be killed, you could get a plea bargain
of about 6 months.”
Kea sighed in relief.
Kea: (sigh) “6 months is not so bad. I will get to see

my boys soon.”
Priscilla: “What about Nombulelo?”
At least someone cared about me.
Bongani: “I am afraid you have to plead guilty – to all

charges including the murder of Pulane.”
Page 1216 of 1871

Nombulelo: (shocked) “Why? I didn’t even push her
down the balcony. And I am only 18, I didn’t go
through that heist alone.”
Bongani: “It will save us from going through a lengthly

trial, Nombulelo. You could get six years, max – that’s
three years in the South African Prison system. By the
time you’re 21, you’ll be out. You are still young and
by the time you get out of prison, your grandmother’s
trust fund for you will have matured. You’ll have
enough to take care of your siblings and I will
personally make sure that you have more than
enough money to start your own life.”
I looked at him and he was fidgeting. Something

didn’t make any sense to me at all.”
Nombulelo: “Are you kidding me, Bongani? Are you

fucking kidding me right now?!”
Bongani: “Calm down, Lelo. I am only trying to assist

you here.”
Nombulelo: (angrily) “You gained millions from us –

from my plans mostly and now, you just became R50
Page 1217 of 1871

million richer! You can’t possibly tell me that you
cannot bribe your fat and ugly politician friends to get
us out of here this time! Now you want to make me
the sacrificial lamb?! Do you think I’m an idiot?! Why
do I have to plead guilty here?! What about Zoro,
Diesel, Biggie and Alfred?! What about them?!”
Bongani: “Look, not all evidence points to all of them

–“
Nombulelo: (interjecting) “Then give me the full

details and stop bullshitting me! You want to throw
Alfred and I under the bus, don’t you?”
He went quiet for a while.
Bongani: “Actually, he begged me to tell you to plead

guilty. It doesn’t look for either of you, you’ll both end
up in prison anyway.”
Nombulelo: “I see. You want to throw Bonnie and

Clyde in prison while your life gets to continue, right?”
Bongani: “You’ll still get to have a comfortable life in

there, I promise.”
Page 1218 of 1871

I wasn’t buying that shit. I stood up and banged the
door.
Nombulelo: “Someone get me the fuck out of here!”
Bongani: “Look, I was only trying to help you.”
Priscilla: “Fuck off, Bongani. You’re useless.”
Kea was the only one who was happy yet she too had
no idea what Biggie even said about her implications.
I honestly doubted that any of those guys protected
us. One thing was for sure; if I went down – I was
most definitely taking them down with me. Priscilla
was the only one I was trying to save out of that
situation. It was at that moment I regretted every
moment of meeting Alfred. He gave me a soft life but
at what cost? My freedom was at stake and my life
was never going to be the same again – ever. I could
not even eat the horrible food they tried to serve us. I
was thinking about my horrible choices the entire
time. I could not even sleep, I sat there with my eyes
wide opened until I saw the sunrise appear through
that small window of that jail cell. Throughout the
Page 1219 of 1871

night, I saw women pissing and shitting right before
me. It was not a very pleasant sight. Gone was my
freedom and privacy, but I would worry about that
later. I wanted to see all those men’s faces when we
were going to court. It was supposed to be our bail
hearing that morning and I was more than ready. We
were all still dressed in our evening gowns and I
gathered that Jerry ensured that no visitors were
allowed to come through to see us. He had it in for
us. We were called altogether when one of the
officers was opening the cell doors for us. We were
handcuffed and thrown into one of the police vans as
usual. While in there, the guys were finally squashed
in there along with us. Jerry was one of the officers
driving us to court. I realized it was part of his strategy
to get us to fold on one another before going there.
Alfred looked like he was sobbing the entire night.
The way he looked at me screamed a very somber
mood. Kea was just worried about Biggie who wasn’t
serving any emotion at all. Zoro was just mute while
Diesel could barely look at Priscilla. I knew then that
we were sold out.
Page 1220 of 1871

Nombulelo: (nodding) “I am. Are you?”
Alfred: “Yes.”
He paused for a little while.
Alfred: “What did Bongani say to you?”
Obviously he wanted to hear what I knew. As soon as

he asked me that all of them looked at me in
suspense.
Nombulelo: “Not much, other than the fact that we

should all plead guilty today and that we’ll settle for a
plea bargain.”
They looked at one another and I knew that they

were bullshitting me including Bongani himself.
Kea: “Big, my love. O sharp (are you okay)?”
Biggie: “Eish, eish, Kea, man. Just focus on today. We

don’t know the kind of magistrate we are going to
see.”
Page 1221 of 1871

It was either they had bribed a magistrate on their
behalf and left the three of us to sink, or they were
testing fate. So, I too decided to fuck with them.
Nombulelo: “Hey, Zo, are you okay? It must not be

easy finding out that your pregnant wife was
undercover this entire time and that she is expecting
Jerry’s baby, can it? How are you coping?”
I saw Priscilla try so hard not to chuckle despite the

circumstances. That was new information to them
judging by the looks on their faces – especially his. So,
Bongani didn’t tell him nor did Jerry. What a lovely
surprise.
Zoro: (gobsmacked) “What? Who told you that? You

must obviously be lying. You never liked Tshidi to
begin with.”
Nombulelo: “Okay then. If I am lying where is she

now?”
Zoro: “She was taken to hospital because she wasn’t

feeling too well last night.”
Page 1222 of 1871

I just laughed and let him be but he just wanted to ask
me more questions and I left him like that. They all
looked at me with so much wonder probably asking
themselves what else I was hiding from them. Alfred
was starting to crack.
Alfred: “Hey, Lelo, I have to tell you something.”
Nombulelo: “There’s no need for that, Alfred. I

already know.”
When the van doors were opened, I was literally the

first one to jump up and prepare to get out.
Alfred: “Please, wait – “
Nombulelo: “See you in court.”
I left him like that while Priscilla was just laughing

quietly. They were about to piss their pants and I
enjoyed it. Depending on what I was going to hear
and see in that court room, I was going to change the
entire narrative of that whole case. Jerry was not
going to have his way with my future like that along
with Tshidi. I was going to make everyone squirm and
Page 1223 of 1871

beg for mercy. We were placed in the court holding
cells for a while. We ducked and dived through the
cameras. It seemed as if the entire community was
there most probably to go around spreading rumours
and lies about all of us. I wasn’t bothered – they did
nothing for me. We were placed in different cells;
women in one and the men in one cell. I was more
than ready to plead not guilty and I advised Priscilla to
do the same. When it was time for us to walk up the
dock, we had to stand right next to the guys. It was
the 7 of us with one missing woman. I saw Zoro look
around most probably looking for Tshidi. She was not
around and he was getting anxious. The judge walked
in and I saw the guys’ faces drop while Jerry’s face lit
up as he walked in with the Matshidiso. She was
dressed in rather formal clothes holding hands with
Jerry himself. It seemed as if they were not expecting
that magistrate to appear, but rather someone else.
Bongani seemed disappointed as well but he assured
them that he had a back up plan.
Officer: “All rise.”
Everyone stood up and waited for the magistrate to

sit down.
Page 1224 of 1871

Officer: “You may be seated.”
It was my very first time in a court room and as an

accused, it honestly looked scary. I didn’t think that
anyone that I knew would pitch up until I saw
Masabatha holding one of the twins with Millicent
next to her holding the other. My heart sank when I
saw how red Millicent’s face was. I was embarrassed
and downright ashamed. Nairobi was sitting right
next to them with sunglasses on and a huge smile on
her face. I guess I deserved that after ruining her
womb. The prosecutor was ready along with
everyone else.
Prospecutor: “My lord, before you stand the following

accused; Steven Makunyane also known as Zoro, Paul
Mahlangu also known as Diesel, Bongani Mokone also
known as Biggie, Alfred Skosana, also known as
Mastermind, Priscilla Motsomi the girlfriend of Diesel,
Keamogetswe Machaba the girlfriend of Biggie and
Nombulelo Makeba the girlfriend of Master mind.
They have all been charged with the following: the
murders of Pulane and Puseletso Mkakgatho,
defeating the ends of justice, obstructing justice,
Page 1225 of 1871

conducting heists, impersonating officers of the law,
breaking an entry in a military base, possession of
military firearms without licenses and intend to do
grievous bodily harm.”
Fuck, that was a very long charge sheet.
Magistrate: “Hmm, I see they enjoy doing crime as

couples. How do they plead, Mr. Mokeona?”
He was referring to Bongani at the time.
Bongani: (brief chuckle) “My lord, each of them have

a different plea – “
The magistrate was taking no nonsense from Bongani.
Magistrate: (sigh) “I’d rather hear it from them

myself. Let’s start from the first one, state your plea.”
Just like that he left Bongani standing there like a fool.

We were lined up the same way the Prosecutor had
called us.
Zoro: “Not guilty, my lord.”
Page 1226 of 1871

Diesel: “Not guilty, my lord.”
Biggie: “Not guilty, my lord.”
Alfred: “Guilty
my lord.”
The crowd gasped as soon as Alfred said that. Zoro,

Diesel and Biggie looked at him with frowned faces
including Bongani. He was going against their original
agreement and I liked it. Up next was Priscilla.
Priscilla: “Not guilty, my lord.”
Kea: “Not guilty, my lord.”
Nombulelo: “Not guilty, my lord.”
The judge was not confused at all as I knew we could

all change our pleas when the official trial began.
Prosecutor: “I would like to make it clear, my lord, that

this is only a bail hearing and so, the prosecution feels
that none of the accused should be given bail due to
Page 1227 of 1871

their dangerous nature and misconduct. The
community does not feel safe and neither should we
all, considering how they get rid of loose ends each
time.”
Bongani: “Oh, my lord, please do consider the fact

that none of my clients have ever been incarcerated
and charged, it has always been speculation.”
Magistrate: “Mr. Mokoena, your clients have been in

and out of this court room for far too long. It is high
time I taught them a lesson and perhaps their
children and some other people’s children will learn
from this. No bail granted to either of the accused.
They shall be sent to a correctional facility where they
will be awaiting trial. The sooner you can wrap up
their statements, the better for all of us. Trial shall
commence on the 6th of June, Mr. Mokoena, giving
you adequate time to come here and present a
proper trial to me. Court adjourned.”
Just like that, the first part of my fate had been

sealed. I was being sent to prison and I would have to
stay there for an entire month. I was not going to
write my June Exams. I was sure expelled. No school
Page 1228 of 1871

would want a prisoner as part of their team. I never
knew what prison was like, but I was prepared for
anything. Priscilla seemed calmer than I was and
assured me that she knew a few people in there. Kea
was bewildered though she wasn’t saying anything.
She fucked up our friendship and I was not about to
mix myself with someone like that. I couldn’t see
Masabatha nor Millicent and I most certainly didn’t
want them visiting me in prison. The drive to the
correctional facility seemed rather long and we were
not in the same police vehicle as the guys. Zoro was
beside himself the moment he saw Tshidi with Jerry
but he deserved it. When the van stopped right in
the prison yard, I noticed just how high the prison
walls were. We saw a few prisoners roaming around
and a lot of warders. It was not going to be a very
pleasant stay, I could tell. We were crammed up in
the van with a few other women who were also
arrested. I just wasn’t interested in hearing their
stories but most of them said they were not guilty. We
were taken into the receiving point and had to stand
in line while staring at the warden, a very big woman
who seemed not to take any nonsense.
Page 1229 of 1871

Warden: “Greetings prisoners, this will be your new
home and depending on our behaviour, you can
actually be corrected and go home a changed
person. You can call me Moeder or mother or
warden if you please. You can come to me for
anything you need, but be warned – this place does
not take kindly to snitches. You are not allowed to
trade but you know how it goes here. You will be
stripped and searched as you know that your days of
having privacy are over. You don’t fuck with me or my
warders – you will be fine.”
We were told not even asked to take off our clothes.

Priscilla was used to it and she took hers off right
away.
Kea: (worried) “Right here? A gona toilet nyana (is

there no toilet or something)?”
Warder: “Hey, wena (you). Do you think this is

Sandton? O tronkong, sesi (you’re in prison, sis).
Now, take off your clothes, I have a whole line up
today.”
Page 1230 of 1871

I saw them put a glove on and I knew that they were
going to check our privates. I just wasn’t ready to be
violated and humiliated like that but I had no choice.
When the one came to me, she laughed.
Warder: “This one is nice and fresh, you can tell she
just tasted a man not so long ago. My skat (love), I
hope you have some fire in you because this place
chows pretty girls like you.”
She put her fingers up my anus but I was not one to

cry – I was not going to do that. Kea cried from the
onset, which was very stupid of her.
Nombulelo: (whispering) “Pull yourself together.”
I tried to be there for her despite her annoying

attitude which she had given me before our prison
arrival. After we were searched and stripped, we
were given our clothes back. We were not sentenced
yet so it was not necessary to be given prison
uniform. We were given one blanket and one bar of
soap.
Page 1231 of 1871

Warder: “You all have families and I am sure you are
loved at home. Do tell them to bring you some
toiletries.”
When we were walking through those corridors, I

could tell that most of the prisoners there had been
there for quite some time. They were whistling at us
and making sounds at us but it was most probably to
scare us so that we didn’t dare to go back there
again. We were taken to different cells, but Priscilla
and I remained. Kea was taken to another cell also full
of those awaiting trial, while Priscilla and I were taken
to one cell. That was relieving for me, but for Kea I
knew that she was going to have a very horrible first
night. I couldn’t help but feel bad for her but I also
had my own shit going on. It was during the day and
cells were opened, which meant that some prisoners
were outside enjoying the sun. The moment Priscilla
and I saw two empty beds, one of the cell mates
walked towards us. She had so many tattoos even on
her face and was quite a big woman. She didn’t scare
me, I had so much pent up anger and a future ruined
to be worried about getting abused in prison.
Apparently she was called Martha, not a very
Page 1232 of 1871

masculine name for someone who looked like a real
man.
Martha: “Ekse (hey), this is my cell in case no one told

you. You don’t get to choose a bed for yourself – I
choose one for you.”
Priscilla was usually a quiet person but she surprised

me when she was the first one to speak up towards
Martha.
Priscilla: (clicking tongue) “Hayi wena (no man). This

is not your home. We found empty beds and we can
sleep wherever we want to.”
Martha: “Jan eh, such pretty ladies who think they

can take me on. Do you know my rep in here?”
Priscilla: “We don’t give a fuck, Martha. Stay in your

lane and we too won’t bother you.”
She could see that neither of us were budging.
Martha: “Ja, neh, sure. We shall see when the lights

go off in here.”
Page 1233 of 1871

We were not going to have an easy stay in there, that
was for sure.
Nombulelo: “How do you even know her name?”
Priscilla: “I told you, I know a few people in here. They

think we’re weak because we just got here. We are
newbies and all eyes will be on us. I know you and I
will be able to fend for ourselves, but it’s Kea I am
worried about.”
Nombulelo: “Me too.”
Priscilla: “Diesel did her dirty.”
Nombulelo: “She did herself dirty. Besides, she made

it clear where she stood with us and we honestly have
our own problems to worry about.”
Priscilla: “I suppose so. Come, let’s take a walk.”
She took me around a tour to show me around and

explain a few rules to me. The toilets and showers
had absolutely no privacy. Everyone and anyone
Page 1234 of 1871

watched you shower, it was just horrible. The kitchen
was big as well and the eating area too. She took me
to the yard and we met a few people from Wattville.
Everyone knew everyone and news spread around so
fast about us, me particularly. Martha seemed to
have it in for me because she approached us with her
crew.
Martha: “Oh, I finally know who you are, newbie. You

are Master mind’s girlfriend. So you are the girl who
stole his heart and now has landed him in prison.”
Nombulelo: “News travels fast around here, but you

should always verify before you approach someone,
you know.”
Martha: (chuckling) “This bitch o tletse masepa

waitse (is full of shit, you know).”
Nombulelo: “Rea tshwana, darling (we’re alike).”
Martha: “You might think that you have his protection

in here, but he is not around. I will be sure to catch
you seeing that you are so full of yourself. This is not
Page 1235 of 1871

Wattville, baby girl, this is prison. It is not your
playground.”
Nombulelo: “It’s not yours either now fuck off.”
She walked away after spitting right onto the ground.

It felt like all eyes were really on Priscilla and I.
Nombulelo: “Hey, P, does Alfred have any control in

here?”
Priscilla: “Sort of. He has eyes and ears everywhere.

Whatever happens to you, he will surely know.”
Nombulelo: “What about you?”
Priscilla: “I know that Diesel threw me under the bus

somehow, but he always sends someone to sort of
protect me while in here. Do you see that rude
warder?”
Priscilla: “She won’t say it but she was already paid by

them to watch us, Kea included. We could always
Page 1236 of 1871

turn on them so that’s not what they want and above
all, we are the mothers of their children.”
Nombulelo: “Well, Alfred should stay away from me. I

am honestly done with him.”
Priscilla: (shaking head) “You don’t know how it works

in gangsters paradise, do you?”
Priscilla: “You two are bound for life. He will hunt you
down even if you leave prison. As far as he is
concerned you belong to him unless he leaves you.”
Nombulelo: “He doesn’t own me.”
Priscilla: “In the gangster world, he does. Why do you

think none of us ever left them? They’ll make your
life a living hell, kill you even hence I have been saying
to you that once we leave the crew, we have to create
a new life for ourselves away from them – far away
from them.”
Page 1237 of 1871

Life was just about to get tougher. My head was just
spinning but one thing was for sure, I had to get to
Alfred before he got to me. I had to tell Jerry my
truth, even though I had a spin on it before they
spread any more lies about me. We had our last meal
around 3pm and gates were locked at 5pm. Some
cells had television but I just wasn’t interested in any
of that. Those prison walls were so depressing, they’d
force you to think even if you didn’t want to. Martha
looked at both Priscilla and I every chance she got,
most probably as a way to intimidate us but I didn’t
care. While I was lying on my very small prison bed,
the warder Priscilla told me about came to our cell.
Warder: “Makeba.”
I stood up.
Warder: “Let’s go.”
Nombulelo: “Where are we going?”
Warder: “Stop with the questions and get up.”
Page 1238 of 1871

I looked at Priscilla who was also clueless but she
wasn’t too worried when I looked at her. I wasn’t
even too sure if I’d come back. The warder cuffed me
and we walked silently to God knows where. When
we approached one steel door I was placed in there. I
was a bit relieved when I saw Bongani there. I wasn’t
too sure why I was the only one meeting him. The
Warder stood right behind me.
Nombulelo: “Why am I here?”
Bongani: “He wants to talk to you.”
Bongani stood up without saying a word further to

me and handed a few notes to the warder.
Bongani: “Do your thing and make sure no one finds

out about this.”
She nodded and also walked out. I was scared for the
very first time since I walked into that prison.
Page 1239 of 1871

Nombulelo: (frantic) “Can someone tell me what the
fuck is going on here?!”
They left me in there all alone with so many thoughts

going through my mind. I waited in there for about
ten minutes when I heard the door open. I startled
and got up, only to find her bringing Alfred in with
her. She uncuffed him and then me. I had no idea
what the fuck they were planning to do to me.
Warder: “20 minutes max. Moeder is coming to do

her rounds soon.”
He nodded and thanked her while I looked at him

confused.
Nombulelo: (scared) “What is going on here, Alfred?”
Alfred: “Relax, I just wanted to see you.”
After what Priscilla told me about them owning us, I

wasn’t too sure if I should even trust him then.
Alfred: “Can I hold you?”
Page 1240 of 1871

Nombulelo: “No, what is happening here?”
Alfred: “Okay, can we please sit down?”
I sat right across him.
Alfred: “I asked Bongani to organize a meeting with

you so I could set the record straight.”
Nombulelo: “What about?”
Alfred: “I know, Jerry will spin a lot of things regarding

my statement, but just know that I never implicated
you one bit – I swear. I love you, Nombulelo and I
want to be with you hence I pleaded guilty today.”
Nombulelo: “I wasn’t in that room and as far as I am

concerned, I am the only one implicated in this entire
thing.”
Alfred: “Look, the guys wanted me to throw you to

the wolves, but I can’t do that. You are my woman.
Why should you be the one to take the fall? We are
all bound to go to prison anyway.”
Page 1241 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Is that all you came to tell me?”
Alfred: “I just wanted to tell you how much I love you

and I can’t live without you.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t think things will work out

between us. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re
awaiting trial.”
Alfred: “I am willing to wait for you.”
Something about what he was saying told me that he

was lying through his teeth. He had just come to test
the waters and see how I felt.
Alfred: “How are things for you in here? Are they

treating you well?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t have any troubles as yet, just this

cell mate Martha who is getting on my nerves.”
Alfred: (frowning) “Martha? Is she bothering you?”
Page 1242 of 1871

I remembered I wasn’t supposed to snitch.
Nombulelo: “No, it’s no big deal.”
Alfred: “I will sort her out.”
Nombulelo: “Leave it.”
Alfred: “Okay, I will see you soon. Bongani will do

everything he can to get you out of here.”
He must have thought I was a real fool to even think

that I trusted Bongani and an even bigger fool to
believe that he thought Bongani would do his best to
get me off. I told him I was feeling tired and he cut his
little impromptu visit short. I had to get to the bottom
of it all and seal my own fate. As soon as he left, the
warder introduced herself to me – properly this time.
Warder: (smiling) “Forgive me for my hostility earlier

on, but you know my line of work can be dangerous
hey – especially if they know I have favourites. My
name is Connie and I am here to take care of you – no
matter what you need, I got your back.”
Page 1243 of 1871

Nombulelo: “How do I even know I can trust you?”
Warder: “Money talks, baby girl and besides, you have

quite a reputation. Alfred has specifically tasked me
with looking after you and your friend. So, I am here
for all your needs.”
Nombulelo: “Anything?”
Warder: (nodding) “Yes.”
Nombulelo: “Can you call Jerry?”
Warder: “The detective?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, tell him I’m ready to talk.”

As said in Lamentations 3:39 – “Why should a living
man complain, a man, about the punishment of his
sins?”
Chapter 58
Proverbs 20:24 – “A man's steps are from the Lord;
how then can man understand his way?”
I had always heard of corruption in prisons and how

the police always get their way, but once I had first
Page 1244 of 1871

hand experience in it, I knew that it was not just a
rumour. I waited in that room and Jerry came within
about 15 minutes. I heard the door open and as
requested, he came. He most probably had a feeling
hence he came. He had brought a few papers with
him so I assumed that he had a hunch I wanted to
confess. He didn’t know Nombulelo Makeba, clearly.
He sat down right opposite me with that usual smirk
on his face. His confidence was alarming – it would
get him into trouble one day.
Jerry: “Evening, Nombulelo. I believe you have good

news for me otherwise you would not have called me
in at this devilish hour.”
Nombulelo: “Hmm, it depends.”
Jerry: (annoyed) “You are in no position to bargain

with me.”
Nombulelo: “You see, detective, that’s where you are

wrong. As you said, you want to nail me but I don’t
buy it. You wouldn’t want to nail a teenager who
knew nothing and who joined the crew long after it
existed. What do I know? I’m just a learner.”
Page 1245 of 1871

Jerry: “What do you want?”
Nombulelo: “You offered everyone a plea bargain –

except for me. So, you owe me one. A favour for a
favour.”
Jerry: (sigh) “That’s hard. I mean you won’t get

anything less than 6 years.”
Nombulelo: “You think I haven’t watched shows such

as Suits in my life? Don’t fuck with me, Jerry. You
need my confession to seal the case and you’ll be the
hero you’ve always wanted to be. You know very well
I have the upper hand here.”
Jerry: “I can do three years – that’s all I can bargain

for.”
Nombulelo: “Fuck that. You can give me less than

that and you know it. I am a teenager and first time
offender. You have nothing on me apart from
meaningless tapes you can’t even use in court and my
cellphone which basically has a few texts and
payments from my boyfriend and his lawyer. Now, I
Page 1246 of 1871

want you to get both Priscilla and I 6 months – or else
I won’t talk.”
Jerry: “It will be really hard to get you off scot free you
know. Besides, I doubt Bongani will be loyal to you.”
Nombulelo: “Imagine the headlines; ‘teen girl forced

into gangsterism: police failed to help her’. That could
sell, don’t you think?”
I was getting on his nerves and he knew I was telling

the truth.
Jerry: “I will see what I can do. Now, are you ready to
speak?”
Nombulelo: “Not so fast.”
He raised both eyebrows looking at me like he wanted

to murder me. So, the mighty Jerry could also get
frustrated I saw.
Nombulelo: “You will have to get your girlfriend in

here first. I want to speak to the both of you – in
person before I confess.”
Page 1247 of 1871

Jerry: “Matshidiso is in no state to come to a place like
this.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, but she was in the perfect state to

go on heists while pregnant, wasn’t she? See, you
police think you can just twist people’s arms and just
get away with it. Your main focus in life is to take me
down, isn’t it? Yet I am the teenage girl who just
happens to date one of the crew members you have
been dying to take over ever since your little
promotion. I don’t even have a criminal record; in fact
I have never been incarcerated for anything before yet
here I am, about to serve a sentence for something
that is deemed my fault. If I didn’t know any better,
I’d say that I am just collateral damage – the pawn in
your little game. The only so called key evidence you
have against me is those stupid recordings you have
of people admitting certain things but you can’t even
use them in a court of law. I know all about the POPI
act, Jerry. Who’s to say you and Matshidiso were
even doing everything legally? She took partook in
gang activities or does being an undercover agent
exempt her from punishment? I might be 18 but I’m
no fool. My mother never raised a fool.”
Page 1248 of 1871

He saw the seriousness in my face and knew that I
wasn’t playing. I had him right where I wanted him –
at his useless hanging balls. He stood up after staring
at me for a while. Sure, he was contemplating it but
he wanted to find a loophole first.
Jerry: “This was clearly a waste of time.”
Nombulelo: “You need my statement or confession to

seal the deal, Jerry. Without it – there’s no case.
Without Priscilla’s statement – there’s no case. We
can be on trial for years in here while you sit around
and scratch your pathetic balls. You are also doing
this the illegal way – keeping Nkuna, your partner out
of the loop. Who knows what other heinous crimes
you get up to while interrogating your suspects?”
I was bluffing, but that was more than enough to

make him squirm. He was standing and staring down
at me with disbelief.
Jerry: “Connie! Let me out of here!”
Connie the warder opened the door for him.
Page 1249 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I’ll give you 24 hours to think about it or
else I will talk to someone else who will be willing to
listen to me.”
He stormed out of there in so much frustration he

was sweating.
Warder: “What did you say to him to make him so

angry?”
Nombulelo: “Nothing. I just gave him a reality check.”
He was probably asking himself who my informant

was but I had none. I let Connie cuff me again and
take me back to the cell. I assumed most were
sleeping when I walked in there but that wasn’t the
case. Those who seemed to have been sleeping were
seemingly faking it. It was going to be my very first
night in a prison cell, so Martha was probably dying to
welcome me her way.
Priscilla: “So, where did you go?”
Page 1250 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Let’s talk tomorrow. There’s way too
many ears around here.”
She nodded while Martha wanted to make her

presence known even though we didn’t care.
Martha: (shouting) “Ah, man! Lea rasa basadi ba

magenza (you’re making noise gangster wives).”
Priscilla: “This one thinks she is all that. Good night.”
Nombulelo: “I doubt I’d have a good night, but we

shall see.”
I stayed up just looking at the ceiling, thinking about

all the choices I had made and basically just trying to
sleep. It must have been literally about two hours
since I was battling to sleep when I felt someone put
something that felt like a rope around my neck. I
opened my eyes and tried to grab that rope from my
neck as fast as I could. It was dead silent in the cell
and it felt as if my soul was close to leaving my body. I
refused to go out like that. The person who did that
to me was more than a coward because she waited
for me to sleep. I put two fingers right behind that
Page 1251 of 1871

rope on my neck despite it feeling so tight and
managed to pull it right off me. I jumped up as fast as
I could and grabbed the person who tried to kill me. I
was trying to catch my breath but that wasn’t the
important factor at that point. I could not see much,
but I felt she was someone quite big. Her skivvies
switched on a small lamp light in the cell and I noticed
that I had grabbed Martha right by the throat. They
didn’t want to make any noise, most probably
because she instructed them not to. Our struggle
ended up in a fight and I heard one of her followers
telling her to fight. The moment I let go of her throat I
got right on top of her and punched her countlessly.
Priscilla begged me to let go of her, but I didn’t. My
demon had finally taken over and I was just throwing
punch after punch. Only when they realized that I
was defeating Martha, they started making noise to
alert the warders that there was a fight going on in
our cell. I was so enraged and I was battling to control
myself. I heard Connie shout at me.
Warder: “Makeba! Let her go!”
I heard her but my hands refused to stop. I only came

back to my senses when the Warder opened the gate
Page 1252 of 1871

and Priscilla pulled me right off Martha. She was
almost lifeless and struggling to keep her eyes open.
My hands were blood red and my knuckles were
badly bruised but I felt no pain.
Priscilla: “Oh, shit. Are you okay?”
I was breathing heavily while watching the Warder

shout out for help. When Martha was taken away,
the Warden came to our cell and I was unbothered.
Warden: “What happened here?”
Everyone kept quiet, except for Priscilla.
Priscilla: “She started it.”
She was referring to Martha.
Warden: “How do you know?”
Priscilla: “I saw her do it with my own eyes. She

attacked her while she was asleep. Look.”
Page 1253 of 1871

She showed the Warden my neck and it felt incredibly
hot.
Warden: “Makeba, you might need some medical

attention for that. Let’s go.”
Nombulelo: “I’m fine.”
Warden: “That wasn’t a request.”
Priscilla: “It’s okay, go.”
I didn’t want to, to be honest. I didn’t even know who

to trust but I walked out without any assistance. I felt
some liquid drops coming out of my nose and only
then did I realize that my nose was bleeding.
Warden: “Shit, look at you bleeding all over the floor

and that time your refused to come to the hospital
wing with me. Do you want to die on your first night
in here and leave me to explain?”
I just kept quiet as we walked. When we got there,

Martha was immediately handcuffed to the bed and I
was placed on one right next to her.
Page 1254 of 1871

Warden: “Try not to kill her while waiting for the
doctor.”
I too was cuffed to the bed and she walked out.

Seeing her so bloody and swollen brought me so
much joy. I was not bothering her under any
circumstance yet she chose to pick a fight with me.
She could barely even open her eyes properly but she
was forcing them open. Sure, my nose was bleeding
but it was nothing compared to the disaster on her
face. She turned around to look at me.
Martha: (angrily) “I’m not done with you, Makeba!

Not by a long shot!”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
Nombulelo: “You are busy picking on someone half

your age, Martha. You don’t even know me. You
have some real issues.”
She was rambling alone while I simply ignored her.

Prison was just a different environment, it was full of
hurt and angry people; most were in there because of
Page 1255 of 1871

a man who cheated on them with a prettier woman.
It was just a messy place. The doctor came and she
was a very nice white woman. She saw Martha and I
thought she would be quite sympathetic towards her
but she was just unphased.
Doctor: “Oh, okay, I see you’re back here – again,

Martha.”
Martha: “Doc, as you can see I didn’t do this to

myself.”
Doctor: “Well, judging by the story I heard, you

started this. You are lucky I was still around, but I am
sure you can wait. It’s not that bad, just bruises.”
She came to me and looked at my neck. I only started

to feel the pain then when she lifted my head up.
Doctor: “You’re lucky to even be speaking right now.

This one is known for ripping people’s heads off.”
Nombulelo: “She needs help – isolation or

something.”
Page 1256 of 1871

Doctor: (laughing) “I see you’re new here. You are
very young too.”
She was conversing with me while treating me. She

started by stopping my nose bleed.
Doctor: “You sound very smart much like all the

young girls I see in here on a daily basis. Some never
make it out of here. Why are you in here? It’s a man,
isn’t it?”
Nombulelo: “Something like that.”
Doctor: “You do know that everyone knows

everything in here, don’t you? I saw you on the news,
you’re even prettier in real life.”
Nombulelo: (smiling) “Thank you.”
Doctor: “You’re good to go, no major damage done to

you but you need to be careful. You can stay here
until early morning.”
Nombulelo: “Thanks, doc. Do I really have to sleep

with my hand cuffed to the bed?”
Page 1257 of 1871

Doctor: “I’m afraid so. You might look sweet, but I
have no idea what you’re capable of – no offence, just
prison policy.”
Her smile was so warm that I understood her very

well. She then attended to Martha who was
squirming like a little bitch. She was in serious pain
and it wasn’t like hospitals outside prison there. We
were not severely injured but because there were no
other patients that side, we were allowed to sleep
there. Martha was not even given a drip or anything
like an antibiotic, but instead she was just treated for
her bleeding and bruises and given ibuprofen. When
the warders told us that it wasn’t our mother’s home,
they surely meant it. If you complained and
demanded more, you were already told that you were
wasting tax payers’ money. The morning came and I
made it out alive. Just when I was sound asleep, the
warders came to wake us up. I had to go shower and
get dressed. I was still in my evening gown and had to
wait for someone to come visit with fresh clothes, but
luckily I found Priscilla had gotten me a clean outfit.
Page 1258 of 1871

Priscilla: “Come, my mom asked one of the warders to
bring me some clothes. We can share.”
Nombulelo: “Thanks, love.”
Priscilla: “It’s only a pleasure. We need to hurry up

and go shower before the water gets cold.”
It was really full by the time we had to go shower. We

were lined up like soldiers after the warders did a
head count. They did that each morning. There really
was no peace and it takes a long while to get used to
the system used in there. There is a specific routine
that I had to get used to and we had to keep our cell
clean or else we were going to get beaten by fellow
cell mates – it was a rule. I honestly thought that I’d
get ‘Orange is the new Black’ vibes
Chapter 59
but I was facing reality. You literally had to think
positively out of the box to find some form of humor
in there. We finally had our time to shower and we
were supposed to be fast, otherwise other ladies
were going to get angry and start a beef with us out of
nowhere. Yet again, gone was my freedom of taking
long showers in the comfort of my own space and
Page 1259 of 1871

home. Such small things were slowly depressing me.
You do your business right there where warders and
fellow cellmates can see you. Some were so used to it
that they walked around naked without a towel
wrapped around them and of course, some were in
relationships. I didn’t see Martha in sight that
morning of which I was really glad.
She was becoming a real pain. After getting dressed,

we had to line up towards the dining area. We all got
the same amount of food – no matter how big your
appetite was. The food tasted bland on most days as
it was steamed. It was healthy, though, but there was
no luxury there. It made most people sick and they
would vomit and get a rash the first few days of eating
prison food but I could stomach it. It was better than
starvation. It seemed as if I was the celebrity around
there because everyone knew my name and were
calling me left and right to come and sit with them.
Priscilla told me not to trust anyone; not everyone
came to you with good intentions. I was famous for
beating Martha up so badly and each one came
offering something from their plate to me – as a form
of a reward and as a plea for protection. I was not in
prison to become a new gang leader of some sort so I
Page 1260 of 1871

politely declined their food. We didn’t even see Kea,
the way everyone was houding us, so we sat with
people Priscilla knew from back in the day. They were
not very troublesome; they had come to serve their
sentence and leave. Afterwards, we went back to our
cells and waited for the yard gates to be opened.
There were quite a lot of activities to enroll in, and I
was mostly worried about my matric. The situation
was slowly starting to depress me as well, but I had
my freedom to worry about. Once we went outside, I
could finally converse with Priscilla and tell her
everything that happened during my conversation
with Jerry the previous night.
Priscilla: (shocked) “You did what?! Nombulelo, the

balls you have! You actually should have been a
man!”
Nombulelo: (laughing) “Well, I also think so

sometimes.”
Priscilla: “Do you think he will give in?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know, hey. To be honest, it’s just

a bargaining tool. However, I truly feel that you and I
Page 1261 of 1871

are alone. Bongani will not protect us. The guys
basically burned us and we should burn him too.”
Priscilla: (shocked) “Are you serious? He is a lawyer.

He has connections everywhere – even in here.”
Nombulelo: “He’s tainted right now. No one will

touch him. Jerry has evidence on him as well, he just
needs a small bit of proof.”
Priscilla: “What if your plan does not work?”
Nombulelo: “It can only work if we get ourselves a

bloody good lawyer who will make sure that Jerry
sticks to his word. I told him that we need a year
max. I can’t be in here for longer than that.”
Priscilla: “Hmm, I get you. A lawyer won’t be cheap.”
Nombulelo: “That’s why we have savings. We are

young, he has to understand.”
Priscilla: “Or she.”
Nombulelo: “Do you have someone in mind?”
Page 1262 of 1871

Priscilla: “There’s someone who once represented me
when I was arrested the very first time. She is a
beast. I still have her number.”
Nombulelo: “Well then, it’s time to make that call.”
Priscilla: “Don’t worry, I got you covered. My mom

will contact her.”
Nombulelo: “Hold on a second, how did you even get

hold of a cellphone?”
Priscilla: “I have my ways. I told you, I know a lot of

people in here.”
I was too busy with my own life, that I didn’t take note
of Kea until she came walking towards the two of us.
Kea: “Hey guys.”
She looked as if she had lost weight in a matter of

hours and as if she was crying.
Priscilla: “Oh, hey. Can we help you?”
Page 1263 of 1871

Kea: “I just thought that I could hang out with you
since I know no one around here.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t mean to be nasty or anything,

but do you remember what you did to us? Long
before we were even arrested? You were so sure of
your friendship with Tshidi and where is she now?
You said it yourself that you are willing to throw us
into the lion’s den so why are you here?”
Kea: (teary) “I’m sorry, okay? I am so depressed in

here being alone without a friend. I just need a
friend.”
It has always been about her and what she needed.
Nombulelo: “We’re too busy for that, please go away.”
She walked away sobbing but Kea was someone I

couldn’t afford to trust not then and most certainly
not even afterwards. It wasn’t too long when Priscilla
and I were called to come forward and that we had a
lawyer’s visit. Lawyers could come any day but family
and relatives could only visit on certain days. We
Page 1264 of 1871

walked into that little room I was in the previous night
and saw a very beautiful woman standing before us.
She had high heels on, the perfect body and the
perfect weave. She looked like such a goddess
although she was quite short. When we walked in,
she smiled at the both of us and extended her hand
for a greeting.
Bella: (smiling) “Ladies, how nice to see you today.

Priscilla, we meet again. (Priscilla nodded) You must
be Nombulelo. You can call me Bella.”
Her hand was so warm that I had my doubts about

her at first. I thought that Bongani and the prosecutor
were going to eat her alive in court, until she started
speaking. She was so articulate and commanded
respect just by speaking.
Bella: “So, I reviewed your case and you stand a good

chance of getting out without serving any sentence,
Priscilla.”
That was good news for my friend, I was honestly

happy for her.
Page 1265 of 1871

Priscilla: “What about Lelo?”
Bella: (sigh) “Well, that one is a very difficult one,

considering all the statements that your boyfriend
and his friends wrote about you.”
My heart nearly sank.
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Statements?”
Bella nodded and took out a big file.
Bella: “Which one would you like to read first?”
I contemplated reading Zoro’s first, but he was not of

importance to me, so I chose to read Alfred’s
statement first. He was the only one that knew me
naked after all. She handed me the paper and I read
it together with Priscilla. With each word, my heart
felt like it was being torn apart.
“I Alfred Skosana declare that I was conducting heists

with my girlfriend, Nombulelo Makeba. Yes, that is
why they call me Master mind, I am the mind behind
each and every heist. She would plan it along with
Page 1266 of 1871

me and we would execute it. My friends were just
part of the crew for logistic purposes; we needed a
driver which is Biggie, we needed gunmen which
were Zoro and Diesel but I reiterate that they never
had to pull any trigger. They were just there in case
we had to scare someone away from us. My girlfriend
and I did everything together. Yes, I admit to killing
Pulane Makgatho, but it was an accident. My
girlfriend made me choose between her and Pulane
during a fight we were having on the balcony and I
chose my girlfriend instead. You could say that I
pushed Pulane because of Nombulelo. She was the
end to our problems, that way I could have her all to
myself without the main problem. I however, did not
kill Puseletso Makgatho, although I formed part of
those who got rid of the evidence that pointed the
killer out.”
I could feel my tears warm my eyes, they were tears

of heartache, disappointment and deep-seeted rage.
How dare Alfred do that to me? I could feel my hands
shaking but Bella remained really calm.
Bella: “Which one would you like to read next?”
Page 1267 of 1871

Priscilla was dying to read her boyfriend’s statement
since she noticed I was about to become a woman
scorned. Diesel’s statement really upset me even
more.
“I, Paul Mahlangu declare that Nombulelo Makeba

was the one who conducted and orchestrated all our
heists. Yes, I was a part of them but I just wanted
some money to feed my family and children. We
have always been friends who did small, petty crimes
such as pitpocketing but when Nombulelo Makeba
joined the crew everything changed.”
He admitted to me being the one who forced Alfred

to throw Pulane down the balcony, while he only
mentioned Priscilla as being a girlfriend and mother of
his child – nothing more. He did not even mention
her as being part of the heists whatsoever. He too
denied killing Puseletso, he too denied being part of
those who got rid of evidence of her murder. I knew
that the chances of me getting away with anything
were rather slim. Biggie’s satetment was a lot similar
to Diesel’s statement, and Zoro’s statement shook me
to the core. He blamed me for everything, which was
expected, but what shocked me was that he blamed
Page 1268 of 1871

Alfred as well. He never mentioned himself as being
part of the gang and that he was just living off his
parents’ trust fund. Big mistake. He had opened a
can of worms for himself and he denied the murder
of Puseletso, but said that I was the one that pushed
Pulane down the balcony. There were so many
discrepancies in each of their statements.
Bella: “Do you see all these discrepancies and

inconsistencies? You are quite lucky you haven’t given
your statement as of yet. I am actually glad you
haven’t.”
We read Kea’s statement, which was the biggest

shocker of them all. She actually blamed both Priscilla
and I as well as Alfred. She twisted so many things
which were so incoherent and didn’t even make
sense to me at all. She had come crying to us just a
few minutes prior knowing very well she had stabbed
me in the back. How glad was I that Bella could
actually play dirty even before a court case.
Bella: “Okay, I know you are upset, believe me I know,

but I am so tired of men who take advantage of little
girls like you, Nombulelo. You are going to tell me
Page 1269 of 1871

everything and I mean everything that happened in
your relationship with that man from the moment
you met him to the moment you got arrested. Only
then, will I help you formulate a statement. You are
the youngest member in there and you are a girl at
that. My blood is cringing right now thinking that you
are supposed to be writing your June Exams yet you
are in prison fighting for your freedom. All these
people sold you out, but you have one true friend
right next to you. What I need from you is a full story
on your relationship, and don’t be afraid to dish out
anything.”
That was the start of my liberating movement. I was

formulating one big case myself against all of them
and they had never seen it coming. I might have been
in the wrong, but how dare they choose to blame me
for everything? Was it because I didn’t have any
children with Alfred? Or was it the fact that they all
assumed I killed his twins? There was only one way to
find out. It was time for war.
Isaiah 43:18 – “Remember not the former things, nor

consider the things of old.”
Chapter 60
Page 1270 of 1871

Matthew 5: 38-39 – “You have heard that it was said,
‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to
you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone
slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other
also.”
Bella was listening attentively and I was really

surprised by her speedy note-taking. I told her every
single thing I could remember; from meeting him to
him introducing me to pick pocketing and shoplifting.
I told her about him taking good care of my mother,
siblings and I and I delved deep into the problems
from start to finish.
Bella: “Hmm, so Diesel, Priscilla’s boyfriend slept with

your sister and impregnated her?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “He and his brother both slept

with her but she was carrying his child.”
Bella nodded and continued to make notes while I

was speaking.
Bella: “And this Tshidi? She came into the picture

when?”
Page 1271 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Right after Puse died, about a few
months ago.”
She nodded and I could see she was writing her

conclusion while Priscilla and I waited anxiously on
her response.
Bella: “Hmm, okay. This is really hectic – even more

than I anticipated. Firstly, I’d like to say to the both of
you that I am truly sorry for what you have both
endured at the hands of these men. What I do know
about gangsters is that they are merciless. Yes, they
killed those two sisters and who knows? You two
might be next. I am a strong advocate against Gender
Based Violence, I hate abuse whatsoever and I always
stand with the victim unless proven otherwise.”
I could tell she was badly hurt by a man hence her
strong stance against abuse. She must have been a
victim too.
Bella: “By the look of things, you Priscilla will be scott

free by the time we go back to court, however, you
Nombulelo there is a strong case against you, but I
Page 1272 of 1871

can help you. You can turn this situation completely
around and put yourself in a favourable position.”
Nombulelo: “What do I need to do?”
Bella: “I am glad you met with that asshole Jerry

before you even wrote down your statement. It is not
easy to revoke what is written on paper. I will need to
dig up information on this Matshidiso and everything I
can on this entire case, but you will do the following; I
will set up a meeting with Jerry and be present with
you. He actually broke the law by questioning you
girls without the presence of a lawyer. He should not
have done that. That’s your upper hand, so if you had
said anything incriminating, it would not even hold in
court. You will state that you were a victim of abuse
and the rest I will relay with you. Secondly, you will
have to throw Bongani into the lurch by telling the
court what he did – all of it. He accepted money and
partook in crime with these men. You were forced
into it. Lastly, I would like you to try by all means to
refrain from meeting with Alfred, but should he come
and request a meeting with you, do not show him any
intention of leaving him at all. He might be dangerous
Page 1273 of 1871

and unstable at the moment especially considering
what happened to Zoro.”
Priscilla and I both froze for a second.
Nombulelo: “What happened to him? Is he okay?”
Bella: “Oh, he is just fine, he attempted suicide last

night. He was taken to hospital and is under police
guard there. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was indeed a
stunt to get out of prison.”
Both Priscilla and I looked at one another briefly. Zoro

must have been having it badly especially since he
had such high regard for Tshidi. She most probably
refused to give him answers. Bella greeted us
goodbye and it was the most fruitful two hours of my
life, actually. I was honestly happy for Priscilla that she
would be getting out real soon. It was time for me to
fight my own battles and try to stay out of trouble.
That very same evening, I was actually preparing
myself to sleep since Martha wasn’t around and since
they all saw what I did to her. None of them were
going to even attempt to kill me ever again. It wasn’t
too long after the lights were switched off when
Page 1274 of 1871

Connie called me. I just knew it was for Alfred. I was
honestly not in the mood to go and she wasn’t taking
no for an answer. I walked out and she cuffed me.
Nombulelo: “Do we really have to go there?”
Warder: “I just follow instructions, money talks,

remember?”
I wasn’t prepared to match whatever Alfred was

giving her just so he could see me. So, I took Bella’s
advice and remained calm. I had no idea what was in
store for me. I found him waiting for me already in
that room when I arrived and as soon as I was
uncuffed, he hugged me for quite some time. He
seemed rather emotional, so I gathered it was
because of Zoro.
Warder: “20 minutes. You now the rules.”
He nodded and she closed the door behind us.
Alfred: “How are you? I missed you so much. I just

couldn’t wait to see you.”
Page 1275 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I’m fine. How are you?”
He was about to answer me when he noticed my

bruised neck and became instantly alarmed.
Alfred: “What happened to your neck?”
Nombulelo: “It’s nothing. It must be an allergic

reaction to the food or something.”
He held my face up so he could see clearer.
Alfred: “Did someone try to hurt you?”
Nombulelo: “Like I said, it’s nothing. I asked you how

you were doing.”
He of all people knew I was no snitch and I made my

point across regarding that each time. He most
probably was already hatching a little plan to find out
who did that to me in his little mind. Our conversation
continued.
Alfred: (deep sigh) “Zo tried to kill himself today. We
found him hanging from his bed. I found him just in
time.”
Page 1276 of 1871

He started breaking down and I had to pretend that I
knew nothing. I looked at him differently that night,
he was a coward, a sellout and a real liar to me.
Nombulelo: “Oh, babe. I am so sorry. Is he okay? I

mean, he will survive, won’t he?”
Alfred: “He will, so they say but he is so depressed.

He has been mute ever since and refuses to speak to
anyone. Because he is one of the accused in a very
high profile case right now, they are going to keep him
in the hospital for a little while longer. I think this
Tshidi thing is getting to him. And the fact that we are
all starting to turn on one another is not helping
much, you know.”
Nombulelo: “What do you mean you’re beginning to

turn on one another?”
Alfred: “I suspect that they somehow tried to reverse

everything and put themselves in highly favourable
positions regarding this case. I mean, none of them
want to tell me what they stated in their statements.”
Page 1277 of 1871

I nearly chuckled but I had to seem concerned. That
fucker was lying to me. I could feel it.
Nombulelo: “Really? What did you say in your

statement?”
I saw him look away for a moment. I could always

read energy and his was telling me that he was lying
right to my face.
Alfred: (trembling) “I said that we were all part of him

– all of us guys except you of course. I didn’t implicate
you in any way whatsoever in case you were
wondering.”
Nombulelo: “Are you talking about the heists or the

murders?”
Alfred: “Both. I didn’t even admit to the murders. I

just spoke the truth that we men were doing heists to
take care of our families, you know. I mean the
evidence is against us. Bongani told me to say that.
He did come through for you, didn’t he?”
Page 1278 of 1871

Nombulelo: “No, was he supposed to? He told me to
plead guilty.”
Alfred wasn’t very happy about that.
Alfred: (angrily) “He did what?! I told him to get you

off – no matter what.”
Someone was most definitely lying and judging by his

statement, he was the one lying. He probably had an
agreement with him to keep me in prison along with
him. I mean, if he couldn’t have me – no one could,
right?
Nombulelo: “What are we going to do, Alfred? What
if I stay in here for years?”
Alfred: “Then we will get through it – together.”
That mother fucker planned it all! Did he actually

believe himself?!
Nombulelo: “What do you mean? Who will take care

of my sisters?”
Page 1279 of 1871

Alfred: “I will make a plan, don’t you worry about
that. You just focus on yourself and on us.”
I knew then that he was even more unstable than I

realized. I just nodded as he hugged me for a while.
Thank goodness Connie opened the door after
knocking briefly. Our 20 minute session was over. I
could still smell him over me and it just disgusted me.
I had no idea that my encounter with him would ever
land me in prison. I loathed him bit by bit, minute by
minute. He ruined my future by showing me a
glimpse of a perfect one with him. What was I even
thinking? We said our goodbyes and I was taken back
to my cell. Priscilla could see how upset I was and
decided not to pry. I was not about to break down in
a prison cell – that could never be me. I slept despite
my emotional state and for the very first time since I
set foot in there, I dreamt of my grandmother. She
just looked at me without saying a word. She was
angry, very angry. I tried speaking to her, but she said
nothing and instead turned her back on me and
walked away. I woke up drenched in sweat and it
wasn’t even time to get up yet but I could see through
the prison window that the sun was almost out. I
struggled to sleep right after that dream. I hardly
Page 1280 of 1871

dreamt of my grandmother Reginah so I knew that I
was in deep shit. She was a prayer warrior and what
did I do? I ruined everything by making the wrong
choices. I just lay on my bed and waited for the
morning. By the time the warders came to wake us
up for the usual head count, I was already awake. I
jumped out of bed and stood right next to my bed.
After the roll call, we went straight to the showers and
got cleaned up. I was getting so impatient for visitor’s
day since we could only get visits on Tuesdays and
Thursdays. It was only Monday by then. I felt so
impatient and I was starting to lose it. I spoke less and
thought more. When we went to the dining area to
eat, we sat with our usual group, and there was one
particular old lady who never spoke much and they
respected her a lot. She was never bothered by
anyone and would read the Bible whenever I saw her.
She was a member of the prison church and went
there without fail. We were eating at least so there
was no Bible in sight. I never took note of her but that
morning she made it a point for me to notice her.
They called her Mam’Rachel. When I looked at her I
just remembered my mother’s baby Rachel who
passed along with her. It made me feel a little
emotional.
Page 1281 of 1871

Mam’Rachel: “Nombulelo Makeba, we finally meet.”
They all paused to look at me and Mam’Rachel. It felt

so awkward. She commanded respect whenever she
spoke, she had this incredible aura around her.
Nombulelo: “Uh, hello, Mme (ma).”
Mam’Rachel: “Please, call me Rachel. Everyone calls

me Mam’Rachel.”
Nombulelo: “Okay then, I will also call you that.”
She nodded.
Mam’Rachel: “What are you doing about those

dreams you keep having? Are you listening?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know what you mean, Mme

(ma). I just dream of people.”
Mam’Rachel: “Yes, but are you listening to them?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know what you mean.”
Page 1282 of 1871

Mam’Rachel: (nodding) “Deutoronomy 32:35. Go
read it when you get the chance and come back to
me. I will see you during lunch time.”
With that being said, she just stood up and left leaving
me surprised as the rest of them looked at me in total
disbelief.
Nombulelo: “Why are you guys looking at me like
that?”
We were seated with about 7 more prisoners.
Prisoner 1: “Are you kidding me? Mam’Rachel never

speaks to anyone – literally.”
Nombulelo: “That’s impossible. What does she do all

day?”
Prisoner 2: “She just prays and meditates or reads the

Bible. Even in church she doesn’t speak to you unless
she has a message for you.”
Prisoner 3: “In this case she has a message for you.

What are you waiting for? Go read that verse.”
Page 1283 of 1871

We finished eating while they couldn’t stop raving
about how luck was soon to follow me since
Mam’Rachel spoke to me and that she was most
definitely going to help me. I didn’t pay much
attention to them. I mean, I wasn’t a believer in God
nor did I even read the Bible. I stopped the day Pastor
Chauke showed us flames. I still loathed him til then.
After eating I wanted to leave for the yard just to get
some sun, but Priscilla stopped me.
Priscilla: “Can I have a moment with you?”
Nombulelo: “Sure, what’s up?”
Priscilla: “I know you don’t believe in God at all or

anything like that, but I am sure at one stage in your
life you did believe in Him, right?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I did and he has taken everything

and everyone I have ever loved from me. So, I don’t
believe in Him any more, so please don’t tell me
about God.”
Page 1284 of 1871

Priscilla: “I am not trying to anger you, my friend. I
just wanted to share some words of encouragement
with you. Look, I borrowed this Bible from someone,
so when you do get the chance, read that verse. I do
feel like there is a reason why Mam’Rachel spoke to
you about it.”
Just like that, she left the cell and let me be. I held
that Bible but didn’t feel any power that most people
who believed in it would feel. I opened it trying to
search for the verse but surprisingly I landed straight
iin the Book of Deuteronomy. I looked for it and
found it, Deuteronomy 32 verse 35; “Vengeance is
mine
and recompense, for the time when their foot shall
slip; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and their
doom comes swiftly.” I must have read it about five
times and I still didn’t understand what was meant by
it or why I had to read it. I put the Bible right on
Priscilla’s bed and just as I was about to walk out, I
bumped straight into Mam’Rachel. The aura around
that woman was just incredibly strong. She was quite
old, most probably in her 60s or early 70s. I could tell
she was a very pretty woman back in the day. Her
eyes just had this hypnotic aura. You would listen to
Page 1285 of 1871

her even if you didn’t feel like it. She smiled at me,
making my heart jump – literally. I was just so afraid
of her, I didn’t know why.
Mam’Rachel: (smiling) “Going somewhere?”
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Oh, I just… I was just heading

to the yard outside.”
Mam’Rachel: “Hmm, did you make time to read the

verse I gave you?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I did.”
Mam’Rachel: “And? What do you make of it?”
Nombulelo: “I’m not quite sure what I am supposed

to say to you, but it speaks of revenge.”
Mam’Rachel: “What does the verse say about

Revenge?”
Nombulelo: “God says that revenge is His and He shall

repay it.”
Page 1286 of 1871

Mam’Rachel: “And given your current situation you
still don’t understand why I gave you that verse?”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “No.”
Mam’Rachel: “Hmm, do you have a few minutes to

spare an old lady?”
She seemed so delighted to hear me say that.
Mam’Rachel: “Firstly let me introduce myself. My

name is Rachel, I am 75 years old.”
I was not way off regarding her age.
Mam’Rachel: “I was born and raised in Kuruman, but I

met a man, fell in love when I was a little younger
than you – 17 to be exact. We got married despite
my parents not liking him at all. I mean, you of all
people should know that love at that age makes one
do stupid things. I ran off with him, far away from
home and he promised me the moon and the stars.
Life was good for the first two years until his family
Page 1287 of 1871

demanded an heir from me. I struggled to conceive
despite being just 19 years of age. He truly loved me
but his deep desire to please his mother made him
become bitter. I’d go from one gynae to another and
they would find absolutely nothing wrong with me.
My uterus was still in tact, my fallopian tubes were
perfect and no damage was seen in me. We tried for
another two years and nothing happened. I became
so depressed because I wanted to please him. It was
not long until he decided to take another wife – with
or without my blessing. She was a bit younger than
me, one year younger to be exact. I was bitter
because she just made my life a living hell. I was only
21 and yet my entire life had changed. He had
replaced me with this new wife who fell pregnant
right away after their wedding. She bore him four
sons. Of course she was the loved wife in the family
while I became an outcast. Sure, he still made sure
that I lacked nothing, but there was no affection
amongst us – nothing.
I was in a loveless marriage and when I was ready to

pack my bags and leave at age 30, my family was
willing to accept me back with open arms, but he just
wouldn’t have it. He refused to let me leave. I was
Page 1288 of 1871

treated like his property and that’s when the abuse
started. You know, God is no fool. I cried day and
night for that man and because of him. The first few
years I cried for him and then I started crying because
of him. The heartache was too much to bear. Can
you believe that on my 40th birthday, instead of
spending it with me he decided to take his sons and
second wife out on a family night? I remember my
prayer that morning and I still won’t forget it; “Father,
only you know my heart, Lord. I have obeyed you for
as long as I could remember. I have trusted you for as
long as I could remember. All I ask is that you fight for
me, Lord. I am unhappy and I have been for the
longest time in my life. I have been bitter and angry
and so lonely. I have no children, Lord but only You
know why.” I took out my Bible and decided to read
any scripture that I came across and guess what? I
landed right on Deuteronomy 32:35, “Vengeance is
mine, and recompense, for the time when their foot
shall slip; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and
their doom comes swiftly.” I said Amen and went
about my day. I was alone with no cake but a simple
happy birthday message from my father, who still
never gave up on me despite me not seeing them for
Page 1289 of 1871

years. That night, I went to bed around 7pm, only to
be woken by people crying in the yard.
When I rushed out I asked what was happening, I was

told by my mother in law that my wish had come
true. My husband was involved in a car accident with
his second wife and four sons. In my heart I was truly
hoping that he had died, but only to find that he was
the only survivor. Not only that, but he was
paralyzed. The doctors were not even sure how long
it would take for him to regain the sensation inn his
legs. I had gone from the hated wife to the caregiver.
I had to care for him even though I was burning with
rage and so much hatred. He held me captive for so
many years and yet God still put me in a postion to
care for that man. Do you understand just how angry
I was? Nonetheless, I cared for him and I got him
through his depression. I went to church with him
and despite people calling me a witch saying the
accident was my fault, he took a whole different
approach to life with me. He started treating me a lot
better than he used to. Perhaps it was because he
was disabled then, I don’t know but life was good. It
was so good until he could walk again and it all
changed. A week after he could walk again, he was
Page 1290 of 1871

roaming the streets again looking for the next young
thing to make his wife. I was beyond bitter at that
point. I stayed with a man for so many years and he
had taken all my youth from me. He would come
home angry for no reason and drunk and beat me
whenever I spoke up. He would bring different
women into the house and at times, he would force
me to watch him have sex with them and would say
‘you’re damanged goods Rachel, no man will ever
love you’.
I snapped one day. He made me watch as usual and I

sat there watching them do it right on my bed and in
front of me. After he was done he would throw me
out the bedroom like a dog. They were both so
drunk, that they slept right afterwards. I remember
watching them, just staring at them and then I just
took a decision. I went to the store room and took
out a bottle filled with paraffin and poured it all over
the bedroom and some on top of them. They were
so passed out, they could barely move an inch. I had
plenty of time to walk out of there and stop what I
was contemplating, but I wanted to do it. I stood right
outside the bedroom door and threw a lighter into
the bedroom. They caught fire immediately. I heard
Page 1291 of 1871

their faint screams after a while and I was
unbothered. I went to sit right underneath the tree in
our yard and watched our house burn. When
everyone from the house came out they started
rushing towards the bedroom and tried to stop the
fire, but it was far too late within an hour. Their
screams became fainter by the minute until we could
hear nothing else. I recall his mother coming towards
me so angry and tried to vilify me screaming “what
did you do?! What did you do?!” I said, “I burnt them
to death. Call the police. I did it.” She had no words
within her. Even though she tried to do something to
hurt me, she couldn’t touch me. They were all
shocked at what I did and how calm I was. None of
them tried to beat me at that point.
I confessed everything that I did and was sentenced

to life imprisonment at the age of 65. Ten years later, I
am still here. You see, I know my story seems a bit
long and rather clichéd, but so many women in this
country go through the same thing. We break our
backs, give our lives to these men and what do they
do? They do the same thing to us over and over again
until we snap and do what we’re not supposed to do.
Had I listened to His voice that day when he said
Page 1292 of 1871

vengeance is mine, I shall repay it – I would be in a
different situation right now. That was my queue to
leave but I chose to stay and look after a man who
had constantly abused me. God forgave me and now
I am able to use my gift to the best of my ability. Now
I am asking you, do you know why I told you about
that verse?”
I shook my head.
Mam’Rachel: “It’s not because it has a big significance

in my life – no, but from the moment I laid eyes on
you when you walked into my cell, I knew that God
has a purpose for you. You are chosen to do great
things, Nombulelo. You just don’t know it yet. Until
you allow God to work within you, you won’t see
what His plans are for you. You have a choice today,
you can choose to speak the truth – the whole truth
and nothing but the truth and let Him fight for you
and change you for the better, and accept Him into
your life. Or, you can choose the path you have
already chosen and write whatever you want to in
your statement as planned.”
Page 1293 of 1871

I became so wide-eyed thinking she had a spy or
something who was watching over me.
Mam’Rachel: “Relax, I am no spy. I am a seer. I see a

lot of things; the past, the present, the future. God
has not given up on you yet, Nombulelo. Yes, that
man might have betrayed you, but you can still
choose the right path and serve your time. Should
you choose the wrong path, you will still come here
and let me tell you; luck does run out and you will
have to face your maker either way. Should you
choose either path, you will meet the man He has
chosen for you and believe me when I say He is a
godly man and one patient man. He is the man who
has been waiting for you. I did not come here to
lecture you on life and God, you will see miracles let
me tell you. You were born to serve the people and
even when you do wrong – the people will still love
you. You will not be like your mother – you will be
better and do better. The choice is yours, my dear. I
will see you soon.”
With that said, she walked out and left me

wondering. When she briefly touched my hand, I felt
something move within me. I had no idea what to call
Page 1294 of 1871

it, but Priscilla called it the Holy Spirit. I had never
been moved like that – not even when Michelle used
to speak of God but I listened to Mam’Rachel. I was
craving more wisdom from her, but I was still set on
following my rage. Alfred had another thing coming
and for that, I had a price to pay. I was consumed
with vengeance at the time and it was so glorious to
me. That made me stronger but more bitter as a
human being. Taking from people became a norm
and I thought it was fine, until my luck indeed ran out
and I had to face God.
As said in Colossians 3:25 – “For the wrongdoer will

be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is
no partiality.”
Chapter 61
Ephesians 4:31-32 – “Let all bitterness and wrath and
anger and clamor and slander be put away from you,
along with all malice. Be kind to one another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ
forgave you.”
I had a lot of time to think about what Mam’Rachel

said to me, believe me I did. Instead of going to the
yard outside, I found myself laying on my bed
Page 1295 of 1871

thinking. Sure, I could have chosen a path of
forgiveness right away and dealt with my demons but
I wasn’t ready to do that. I mean she too chose to
stay with that horrible man and that didn’t mean that
I was going to end up like her, right? I wasn’t about
that life. The more I thought of forgiving Alfred and all
his friends including Kea, the more my heart just
wouldn’t take it. Instead, it just beat faster and I
started sweating profusely. I was all about
vengeance. God could forgive me, honestly, but I
wasn’t ready for forgiveness. Since well Priscilla’s case
was as clear as daylight, I started meeting up with
Bella alone. I was waiting for Masabatha to come visit
so I could discuss the way forward with her especially
when it came to finances, and also to prepare sending
Bella money for all her consulting fees, only to get the
shock of my life. That was sort of the first sign for me
that God was indeed on my side and that He hadn’t
forgotten about me. I was called to go to that familiar
room and found Bella on one side with an empty
chair next to her. Opposite her facing the door was
Jerry and the very nervous Tshidi. When Bella winked
at me with a wide smile, I knew she had them right
where she wanted them. It was my time to use that
stage to perform.
Page 1296 of 1871

Bella: “Thank you warder. Well, Jerry, Tshidi, as you
can see my client is here and ready to give her
statement. Is all still in order, Nombulelo?”
Nombulelo: (nodding nervously) “Yes, it is.”
Bella: “I will hand over to you. I am just here to

observe.”
Jerry was frowning, I could tell he didn’t like Bella very

much but that was his problem.
Nombulelo: “Hi, Jerry, we meet again.”
Jerry: (nodding) “Ja.”
I turned around and looked at Tshidi and I wasn’t too

sure if that was even her real name. I mean, she was
quite a manipulative person. She pulled off a façade
for months, so who knew if it was the real her sitting
before me that day. I needed to be sure. I mean
much like Jerry, I too could read people’s behaviour,
so I got the ball rolling.
Page 1297 of 1871

Nombulelo: “If you don’t mind, Jerry, I’d like to ask
Tshidi a few questions before I give you my
statement. I do hope that it’s okay with the both of
you.”
She looked at him first before looking back at me. I

knew then that she wasn’t the strong person she
portrayed herself to be whenever she was around
Zoro. She was trying to get a signal from him,
approval of some sort. He gently brushed her hand
and I knew that was the signal. That moron had
briefed her right before our meeting. Clearly they
didn’t know me.
Jerry: “Sure, I have no problem. Do you, Tshidi?”
Tshidi: (shaking head) “No, I don’t.”
Her demeanour was a lot calmer than the bitchy

Matshidiso I had come to know. It was going to be so
interesting playing the devil’s advocate with her.
Nombulelo: “Very well then. Tshidi, I mean that’s

your real name, isn’t it?”
Page 1298 of 1871

Tshidi: “Ye – yes, it is.”
Nombulelo: “What are you really? Are you a spy? Or

an undercover cop? What?”
Tshidi: “I work with the hawks – intelligence. I was

paired with Jerry years ago when the crew started
doing major heists.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, I see. And you have been basically

infiltrating the crew for years now? So you were
Zoro’s side chick for years before you got this big
break?”
She looked down with embarrassment before

answering the question and I could tell Jerry was
feeling uncomfortable. Not once did Bella get
distracted, she stared them both in the eyes.
Tshidi: “Yes, I was. It was part of the plan, otherwise I

would never have gotten to where I am now.”
Nombulelo: “Okay, how do you feel now? I mean

about what you did to me specifically? Wasn’t your
Page 1299 of 1871

plan all about nailing the guys? Why do I have to bear
the grind for all of them?”
Jerry: (irritably) “This is ridiculous! I am doing you a

favour here, Bella! She is acting like she’s the cop
here!”
Bella remained quiet while I stared at Tshidi. She

owed me answers, though. She calmed him down.
Tshidi: “It’s okay, let me answer her questions. Yes,

that was the ultimate aim. I am sorry, but you were
just collateral damage.”
Nombulelo: “You mean the sacrificial lamb?”
Tshidi: “We both know that you did what you did and
if it weren’t for you and your plans, we wouldn’t have
gotten the big break we got.”
She spoke to me in the same tone and attitude the

original Tshidi would have, so I knew then that the
double life was quite fun for her. I refused to believe
that she didn’t love Zoro even if it was a small
percentage. She love that dangerous life, it gave her
Page 1300 of 1871

meaning. Now she had to stare that bald
motherfucker in the eye most probably for the rest of
her life.”
Nombulelo: “So, as a woman who works for

Intelligence, surely your job is to rescue young girls
from such a life. Why didn’t you give me a tip before
nailing me? Why didn’t you warn me at least or try to
get me out of that life knowing how I got involved in it
in the first place?”
I started tearing up as part of the act. She was

confused but my statement hit her core.
Tshidi: “I’m sorry, but I don’t follow.”
Nombulelo: “I’m ready to give my statement now,

Jerry.”
He was more than relieved despite me leaving Tshidi

hanging with my question. He took out his little
recorder and took my statement.
Jerry: “You may begin.”
Page 1301 of 1871

Nombulelo: (sigh) “My name is Nombulelo Makeba, I
am 18 years old and this is my statement regarding all
the charges against me. Firstly, for both murder
charges I knew nothing about them. I was never
present for either of them. Yes, I was in the house
with the following people.”
I named each and every one in the house, including

Matshidiso herself.
Nombulelo: “I had found out that day that my

boyfriend Alfred was cheating on me with the mother
of his children, Pulane Makgatho. It broke me to the
core, but I chose not to say anything to him about it as
we were in a celebratory mood. It was only while I
went to the rest room that I heard someone
screaming and a loud thud onto the ground. When I
got out of the rest room, I saw everyone surrounding
the bleeding Pulane. She was still alive at the time.
When Zoro, Steven Makunyane asked what
happened, that’s when Alfred confessed to murdering
the mother of his children, Pulane.”
Tshidi was bewildered and too shocked to even

speak. Her eyes widened with each statement I gave.
Page 1302 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I was very shocked and told them to call
the police, but I was told not to by all of them –
including Matshidiso, whom I knew as Zoro’s fiancée
then. I was told that night on our way home from
being questioned by detective Jerry, that should I ever
tell the truth of what happened that evening that I
too would end up like Pulane and Puseletso. I left
things as they were. I am too young to die after all.”
Both Jerry and Tshidi never expected each bomb I

dropped on them. It felt like the entire room was on
fire by the way Tshidi was dripping in her own sweat. I
enjoyed each and every moment of it. Once I was
done, Jerry just had to act like an idiot.
Jerry: “And you swear that everything you have said

here is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the
truth?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, it is.”
I made sure to implicate Tshidi and Bongani as much

as I could. How dare she take advantage of the
situation and use me as young as I was? To make
Page 1303 of 1871

matters worse I only found out that day that she was
actually 34 years old and was married to Jerry. Those
two were really insane. The level they were willing to
stoop to just to break a case really made me wonder.
I couldn’t even phathom how she still had the time to
sleep with Jerry after all her steamy sessions with
Zoro. I wanted her to regret each moment whenever
she thought of me. Once we were done, they
excused themselves quicker than you could say ‘bye’.
Bella: (smiling) “You did so well, did you see his face?
He didn’t see this one coming. Now it is back to the
drawing board for him.”
Nombulelo: “What about the case?”
Bella: “Don’t you worry about that. I will speed things

up with the judge and get the ball rolling. Should he
agree, your court date will move to a nearer date.”
I was really thankful for what she was doing for me. I
had a fighting chance and I was willing to use every
tool possible. Little did I know that Jerry had yet
another trick up his sleeve. I went about my day and
we didn’t see Kea around at all, even when we had to
eat our last meal. I wasn’t much of an eater and I
Page 1304 of 1871

never bothered about prison meals being served
twice a day.
Nombulelo: “Have you seen Kea anywhere?”
Priscilla: “Oh, she’s gone.”
Nombulelo: “What do you mean gone?”
Priscilla: “I don’t have all the details as yet but word is

that she was mistakenly arrested and was freed just a
few hours ago while you were busy with Bella.”
That was quite a shocker to me. I stared at Priscilla

while still trying to process it all.
Priscilla: “I know, right? Biggie must have made plans

to get her out of here. What they have on each other
is bigger than the rest of us.”
Nombulelo: “But you and Diesel have been together

forever.”
Priscilla: “Yes and that’s the exact reason he won’t do

shit for me. I only gave him one child – a girl child at
Page 1305 of 1871

that. Deep down he is a slut and will always remain
one. Our relationship died a long time ago. His
recent affection for me was just a stunt soon after the
proposal. I am not saddened by anything hence I
expected it. I was willing to serve my time right in
here with you and if need be, I am going to sing and
expose him. He along with his friends have used me
for my skills for long enough. I was always the last one
to find things out.”
She was tired and sounded much like a woman

scorned. There is nothing more dangerous than an
angry woman. I understood her stance to be honest.
I didn’t know the level of trauma she had reached in
her relationship until she opened up to me. He put
her through hell and was still not apologetic about it.
On that note, we were done eating and went back to
our cells. Upon walking towards my cell, Connie
stopped me and told me that someone was there to
see me. I was puzzled because it was way too early
for Alfred to come visit, but I went ahead. If she were
sending me to my death, she would be the last person
seen with me. When I entered my usual room, he
was standing there looking much better than the
previous day. He basically attacked me with a hug. It
Page 1306 of 1871

was a bit weird, I just didn’t get it. He seemed way
too happy.
Nombulelo: “Someone’s happy today.”
Alfred: “Yes, I just missed you, that’s all. Is it a bad

thing?”
Nombulelo: “No, it’s not.”
Alfred: (smiling) “Hmm, how was your day?”
Nombulelo: “Fine, I guess. Yours?”
Alfred: “Mine was okay as well. Did anything

interesting happen today?”
He looked at me as if he wanted me to respond with

something specific, which was a little alarming.
Nombulelo: “No, there’s nothing interesting that can

happen here.”
Alfred: “Hmm, are you sure?”
Page 1307 of 1871

Nombulelo: (frowning) “Yes…”
Alfred: “Hmm. I meant every word I said when I said

that I love you and that I won’t ever leave you, you
know.”
He was saying that while slowly coming closer to me.

His energy told me that something was totally off. His
demeanour was changing into a sort of angered one.
His eyes slowly changed and I saw that he was filled
with rage. He had brought me in there under false
pretenses. By the time I thought of calling out to
Connie, he had grabbed my throat with both hands. I
mean there were a few instances where he would
have loved to kill me but his feelings for me brought
him back to earth and he stopped himself. That
evening, he showed me his true colours. I could not
breathe and air within my body had no outlet. He
looked me right in the eyes with his bloodshot eyes.
Alfred: (angrily) “How dare you lie to me, Nombulelo,

after everything I have done for you?! Was I not a
good boyfriend to you?! Did I not show you love?! I
sorted Martha out for you because I love you! Do
you know how many people I am paying just to keep
Page 1308 of 1871

an eye on you and make sure you are okay in here?!
Why the fuck would you go to Jerry and give him a
false statement that implicates me in all things that
are wrong?! I thought you loved me just as much as I
love you! How the fuck could you betray me like
this?!”
His grip tightened and I felt like it was nearing the end
for me. How dare he say that to me when he was the
one that sold me out in the first place? I felt myself
become weaker by the minute. He had placed his
entire body and strength right in between my legs. I
thought to myself if I didn’t fight then, it was going to
be the end for me. I don’t know how I did it but I
managed to kick him right in his crotch. I kicked him
so hard that he managed to fall down and loosen his
grip around my neck. I gasped for air and felt my soul
return right to my body. Seeing him right on that floor
wincing out in pain made me feel a bit at ease, but I
saw him try to get up most probably to finish me off. I
had to think fast. Once again, my fear turned into
rage. I had an advantage over him; he was on both
knees so I had access to attack him wherever I wanted
to. I kicked him right in the jaw using my knee. I
wasn’t aware how hard I kicked him until I saw some
Page 1309 of 1871

blood spatters fly out of his mouth. I was so angry; I
could have died at his hands; at the hands of
someone who claimed to love me.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “How dare you, Alfred?! How

dare you treat me like some object that you bought
and now I somehow owe you?! Did I ask you to pay
all these people in here?! For all I know you did it so
you could spy on me! You are the one who sold me
out in your very first statement to Jerry. You didn’t
even wait for me to find a moment to speak to you
and at least get our story together! How fucking
could you?!”
Alfred: (softly) “I… I did it for you. I did it all for you.
We are meant to be together, why can’t you see
that?”
I became even more enraged when he said that.

What did he even mean by taking care of Martha for
me? Was he trying to create enemies for me? I
started punching him so hard on the face, while
screaming my lungs out. I didn’t even realize that I
was crying while screaming and punching him until
Connie ran in there and pulled me away from him.
Page 1310 of 1871

There was so much blood on the floor. I had no idea I
had it in me to even do such to any man.
Warder: “Are you insane?! Look at what you’ve

done! Are you trying to get me fired?!”
She too acted like she cared by approving all his

unsolicited visits to me, but actually she was going to
stand right outside that room and wait for him to
finish me off. I wasn’t bothered by her or anyone else
for that matter. The fact remained that she was
corrupt.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Had you remained with just

doing your job you wouldn’t be in this mess to begin
with. You are the one who organized these meetings
and for what? For an extra buck?”
Warder: “You will regret what you have done. Do you

have any idea how difficult your life can get in here?!”
Nombulelo: “I’d rather take my chances. Do you see

what he did to me?! Do you?! I could have died!”
Page 1311 of 1871

I showed her my neck and just when I was starting to
heal from the attempted murder Martha tried on me,
he tried another stunt. She could see I wasn’t
bending and that I was willing to tell the truth had I
been asked what went down in there that night.
Warder: “Look, I’m sorry, okay. Please don’t tell on

me. I could lose my job. I have three kids and I’m a
single mom.”
Nombulelo: “And I have four mouths to feed and I can

kiss my matric goodbye. We all have problems. Take
me back to my cell, please.”
She had no idea what to do; Alfred was bleeding in

there and she had to call the warder in charge of
taking him back to the male prison and explain why
he was bleeding in the female prison to begin with. I
had never seen her so panicked before. She called
someone using her cellphone and the male warder
came rushing. When he looked at Alfred who was
lying on the floor at that time, he freaked out.
Male Warder: “What the hell happened here?! This

wasn’t part of the plan.”
Page 1312 of 1871

Warder: “Look, your guy tried to off her. She fought
back.”
Male Warder: “This won’t look good. I’m not going

down for this, Connie. I have a family to feed.”
Warder: “Do you think you’re the only one who has a
family to feed? You are not going to make me go
down for this. We’ll think of something, otherwise, I
will tell your wife where you spend your late nights.”
Male Warder: “So, it has come to this now?”
Warder: “We’re in this together. You are not backing

down now. I managed to lie about Martha’s attack,
now it’s time for you to do the same.”
He took Alfred away who could barely open his eyes

to look at me. Connie took me to my cell and was
very gentle with me. She was starting to panic and
my gut told me that she had been doing that for quite
a while now. How many girls suffered at the hands of
men who were most probably raping them in that
little room while she was enjoying a few extra
Page 1313 of 1871

hundred bucks? She was an enabler to these men
and partook in criminal activities. I wasn’t perfect, but
I didn’t hurt anyone while doing crime. She was
wrong for what she did and had to pay for it. Before
approaching my cell, I stopped and looked at her.
Nombulelo: “How long have you been doing these

things?”
Warder: “What do you mean?”
Nombulelo: “I’m 18, Connie. You most probably have

a daughter or maybe two. Would you enjoy it if she
was in prison and being sold to a man who claimed to
love her? What would you have done had he actually
killed me? You don’t know what he is capable of.
Would you have gotten rid of my body? I bet you do
it so often that it doesn’t bother you any more.”
I could feel my rage building up again. She could see I

was not so nice anymore and tried to calm me down.
Warder: “Look, it’s not like that, okay? It’s not like
that at all. I was just making extra money on the side.
Besides, how was I to know that he would try and kill
Page 1314 of 1871

you? He told me that you two have been in a
relationship and that he just misses you.”
Nombulelo: “And you were naïve enough to believe a

gangster?”
I just scoffed and kept walking.
Warder: (nervously) “So, are you going to tell on me?”
Nombulelo: “No, but you will have to tell the truth

about what happened. I am giving you time to
confess.”
Warder: “So says the girl who never admitted to her

wrongdoings.”
Nombulelo: “I’m sorry, was I selling girls while doing

heists? I don’t think so. I bet if the warden found out,
a lot of girls would actually come forward. Perhaps I
should ask around.”
Warder: (panicking) “Look, I’ll do whatever you want,

okay? I was only kidding about your life getting
harder in here. I didn’t mean it.”
Page 1315 of 1871

Nombulelo: “How do I even know if you were playing
or not? For all I know, I could be dead by sunrise.
Take me back to my cell – now.”
Connie was a nervous wreck

more especially since the following day was her day
off. She had no idea what I was planning but I felt like
I had a duty to solve the problems she had created.
She was a bad person and worst of all she was a
woman. She locked the cell and reluctantly walked
away. I was really disappointed and angry with Alfred,
but even more disappointed in Connie. For a woman
who had a duty to protect and serve, she really fucked
up. It didn’t sit well with me at all considering that my
mother was abused by quite a few men in her life,
including Pastor Chauke. When he wanted to sleep
with me that day when I was younger, I just got angry
while thinking of such. Most of the cell mates were
sleeping, but I heard Mam’Rachel speak.
Mam’Rachel: “Still angry, I see.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, Ma, you scared me there.”
Page 1316 of 1871

Mam’Rachel: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
I kept quiet for a while.
Mam’Rachel: “You didn’t kill him, did you?”
She most probably saw it before it happened.
Nombulelo: “No, I didn’t.”
Mam’Rachel: “Hmm, don’t you worry. He won’t

bother you for a while though he will be keeping an
eye on you.”
I kept quiet for a while. She most probably knew I

wanted her advice on what I was thinking. She could
sense it or most probably even read minds, who
knows?
Mam’Rachel: “I can sense you are burning to ask me

something. Go ahead.”
Nombulelo: “I know someone who has been doing

very bad things to girls like me. I want to report it. It
Page 1317 of 1871

just makes me angry. Should I do it? I don’t want to
seem like a snitch.”
Mam’Rachel: “You already know in your heart what

you want to do so it doesn’t matter what I say to you.
All I can say to you is, remember my words.
Remember Michelle’s words right after she died,
when she came to you in a dream. She told you what
your destiny is. This right here is the first of many
good deeds you will do – alongside the bad ones you
are still going to commit to.”
It felt like she was speaking in riddles, but I actually

understood her. When Michelle visited me in a
dream, she told me that I was destined to help a lot of
people, helpless people in fact. I decided to sleep
knowing very well what I had decided to do. The
following morning, I got up as usual and Priscilla and I
went to the showers. When I got out and prepared
myself to get dressed, I was approached by a cell
mate I didn’t recognize. There were just too many
women in there.
Cell mate: “Hi, you are Nombulelo, right?”
Page 1318 of 1871

Nombulelo: (frowning) “Yes, may I help you?”
Cell mate: “I was hoping to come see you about an

urgent matter. I know you are the one who can assist
me.”
Nombulelo: “Okay, can we meet in the dining hall?”
Cell mate: “No, there are too many eyes and ears.
Let’s meet in the yard outside a bit later.”
I agreed and went about my business. When I went

back to my cell to put back my things, I found a note
under my pillow. “My friends and I would like to
speak to you about something. I overheard you speak
to Connie last night. I do believe you can help us.
Please don’t refuse, just hear us out.” It was rather
weird for me to learn that there were eyes and ears
everywhere. While eating, so many young girls came
to greet me and offer me some of their food which I
politely declined. I had become so popular amongst
the females in there in less than a week. Priscilla was
impressed and just smiling, with all the information
she had, she most probably knew what they wanted
from me. By the time I had gone to the yard, I found
Page 1319 of 1871

a group of them including the cell mate whom I met
in the shower waiting for me. They had come with a
list of grievances, while some even cried. It was as if it
had been the very first time they could cough it all
out. I knew that prison warders were not to be
trusted. Sure, there were social workers on site but
even they were not really trusted because news got
out very quickly in there. Connie was a lot more
dangerous than I thought and she was working with
her boyfriend whom I met the previous night. She
would organize hungry prisoners and some male
warders to sleep with young girls in that little room
while she got the money. Some were even infected
with HIV while some fell pregnant while serving time.
They could not even explain the pregnancy because
they knew they might have been killed. They were
tired of being silent and knew that somehow I was
their voice. I thought of something bigger than just
speaking to the warden. She must have been corrupt
as well. I asked Priscilla for her phone and sent all the
information I had to Bella. She was more than ready
to assist me irregardless of all the work she had to do.
It was Tuesday, which meant it was visitor’s day. I had
only been in there for a few days, so I didn’t even
know if Masabatha or Millicent would even come visit
Page 1320 of 1871

until I heard my name being called for a visit. I had
only written Millicent and Masabatha’s names along
with Bella’s name on my visitor’s list. I was really
surprised to see Masabatha. I thought she was
honestly done with me. When I walked towards her, I
didn’t sense any judgment from her, but I was very
ashamed of myself.
Masabatha: (smiling) “How are you doing?”
Nombulelo: (shrugging) “I’m surviving, I guess. How

are you and the kids? How’s Millicent?”
Masabatha: “You can ask her yourself when I am

done with you. She is waiting outside. What were
you thinking, Nombulelo? Heists?”
Nombulelo: “I’m sorry, Ma. I just wanted to get

money, enough money to support my siblings.”
Masabatha: “I see. Your lawyer contacted me. Your

case is strong and therefore the trial has been pushed
to next week.”
That soon already? Bella really knew her story.
Page 1321 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Okay, that’s great news. How’s Nairobi?”
Masabatha: (shaking head) “Don’t ask about that

one. You just focus on getting out of here.”
Nombulelo: “I’m sorry for disappointing you like this,

Mme (ma).”
Masabatha: “We are all God’s children, Nombulelo.

Your purpose on this earth has not even started. You
will see and realize it the day you give your life to
God.”
She handed me a few things she had brought for me

and some money I might need for essentials before
saying goodbye. She didn’t bring the twins along with
her, which was fine with me. I didn’t want them to
get affected by the bad aura in prison. When
Millicent approached me, it broke my heard seeing
her face so red. She just burst into tears and I wasn’t
allowed to even touch her.
Nombulelo: (teary) “Please, don’t cry, Millicent. I am

begging you, don’t.”
Page 1322 of 1871

Millicent: “I’m sorry. I am just so worried about you.”
Nombulelo: “Don’t be. I will be fine. Are you well?

How’s school?”
Millicent: (sniffing) “School is school, I am trying my

best. It’s not easy with you in here.”
Nombulelo: “I will get out of here really soon. I just

need you to concentrate on your school work.
Masabatha is there for you. Confide in her whenever
you are not okay.”
Millicent: “It’s not easy. Sometimes I want to talk to

you, but I can’t. You’re in prison.”
Nombulelo: “Okay, I will make a plan to contact you,

okay? I just need you to hang in there and be strong.”
She nodded. I gave her instructions on what to do

with the money that’s left in my bank account. She
had access to my phone and she was a lot smarter
than Nairobi as well. She would be able to use that
money for groceries, transport and all necessities she
Page 1323 of 1871

might have needed. When it was time to say
goodbye, it broke my heart not being able to hug her.
I didn’t want her grades to drop all because of me. I
made my choices, she had a good life ahead of her
and I was determined to ensure that she focused on
the goal ahead. By the time we went back to our cell
after the last meal of the day, I was quite relieved
when I didn’t see Connie come to our cell to get me
out of there. I didn’t hear any news of her
whereabouts or of her being suspended and Priscilla
also heard nothing. I just slept with hopes of a new
day ahead. By the following morning, we did our
business as usual and when we went to the dining
hall, the cell mate who originally approached me for
assistance came running to me with a huge smile on
her face.
Cell mate: “Nombulelo, thank you so so much! She

has been suspended along with her boyfriend! Other
warders are also pending investigation and it is all
thanks to you! It even made front page news!”
She hugged me and a lot more of them came to hug

me and brought me snacks that they bought from the
prison canteen. I was overwhelmed with so much joy
Page 1324 of 1871

that I honestly wasn’t expecting anything from them.
I shared my little rewards with my prison friends. It
was truly a good day for me. And so, slowly, prison
became a lot better to cope with because so many
came to me for help. If someone was bothering them
or abusing them, they came to me. I was the go-to
girl for pretty much anything. That gave me
something to look forward to each and every day.
A week later, the trial date was set and was about to
begin. Bella had come to coach me for a while just
before the trial. She told me to brace myself because
the prosecutor was quite brutal and that with my
given statement, the guys were not happy at all. With
the latest developments involving Alfred sneaking into
the female prison to attack me, it gave my story some
sort of credibility but added more woes for Alfred.
With all the allegations I made against Bongani, he
was forced to step down as their lawyer and gave one
of his associates the case. They were not very
pleased with me about that. That morning, befoe I
left I remember Mam’Rachel wishing me good luck
along with all my other cell mates. Bella had brought
me a nice outfit to wear for the start of the trial. My
Afro was starting to suffer due to my new
Page 1325 of 1871

circumstances, so I asked Priscilla to braid my hair into
simple cornrows. I always looked good naturally
anyway. When I stood right in that court next to Zoro,
I could feel how he wanted to kill me, but he just had
no will power considering how suicidal it was. I
looked right behind me and saw Masabatha and
Millicent. I wasn’t too happy with Millicent attending
court instead of school but I let her be for that time.
The judge walked in and we were asked to stand as
per protocol. The show was about to begin.
Judge: “You may be seated. Right, I believe the

prosecution has more than enough evidence and
statement for the trial to start today?”
Prosecutor: “Yes, my lord.”
Judge: “And I believe that the defence is ready along

with your clients, Advocate Mokone?”
Bella: “Yes, your worship.”
I was amazed by the respect the Judge had for Bella,

unlike when he used to address Bongani. He didn’t
Page 1326 of 1871

have much respect for Bongani’s associate, who was
also a black woman.
Judge: “Advocate Mtshweni, are you prepared? Were

you briefed on the case?”
Advocate Mtshweni: “Yes, your worship.”
Judge: “Hmm, please do not mess things up like your

associate. I have had way too many surprises to last
me a life time.”
I heard Advocate Mtshweni clear her throat. She

looked so nervous while Bella was quite calm.
Judge: “The prosecution may present its opening

statement.”
Prosecutor: “Thank you, your worship. I believe we all

know why we are here. All these suspects you see
right here before you have been charged with
gruesome crimes. We can all admit that they have
been doing this for quite some time and have become
professionals at it. They have been commiting all
these crimes from the time they were teenagers – “
Page 1327 of 1871

Advocate Mtshweni: “Objection my lord!
Speculation.”
Judge: (sigh) “Advocate, I believe you are new in this

court room. Contain yourself. Overruled. The
prosecution may continue.”
Just like that she was just made to sit down like a
toddler who had done wrong.
Prosecutor: “Thank you, my lord. As I was saying,

from as early as their teenage years, they have been
committing all these crimes. Who is to say that they
haven’t murdered more than just these two sisters?
Pulane and Puseletso Makgatho are two of the
victims who have suffered at the hands of this
gruesome group. Our country has enough criminals
as we speak yet they have been running rogue and
committing crimes together. They have built
themselves very lovely houses and one of the accused
Steven Makunyane had a very big lavish wedding just
a few months ago. Has no one asked themselves how
they could afford all of that without even having
matric? I say unto you all, this group is full of criminals
Page 1328 of 1871

who deserve to be taught a lesson. They have
glamourized gangsterism so much that even their
own girlfriends were involved. What are they trying
to teach our youth? They deserve a harsh
punishment so that children in their communities can
see that a soft life is earned by hard work – not taken
from others. I thank you.”
Judge: “The defence may present its case, starting

with you, Advocate Mtshweni. Please, make it brief
and do not take long.”
Advocate Mtshweni: “Very well, your worship. As you

all know that all are my clients except for the two
ladies. These young and hardworking men have been
subjected to so much hate from community members
and people like the prosecution all because they are
black and successful. Yes, they do have their faults
and as you will see in the evidence provided, the two
murders were nothing but accidents. They are all
fathers and have been raising their children to the
best of their ability. None of them should be
subjected to any more hatred and envy. Black men
deserve to have lavish weddings without being made
to look like criminals. Why can’t they too enjoy their
Page 1329 of 1871

hard earned money? They have small businesses in
Wattville, so surely they do know how to have fun.
Believe me when I say this, this is nothing but a smear
campaign against young, African men and they will be
acquitted. Thank you.”
Judge: “Advocate Mokone, you may present your

opening statement.”
Bella: “Thank you, my lord. I represent these two

young women before me. As you all know that the
main person charged here is Nombulelo Makeba. My
other client has no evidence against her as you will
read in all the other statements, my lord. I do have a
warrant of clearance for all her charges as you will see
in this sheet, your worship.”
She handed the paper to one of the guards in the

court who gave it to the judge. He interrupted her
before she could even continue.
Judge: “Pardon me, so why is she standing before us

as one of the accused?”
Page 1330 of 1871

Bella: “I believe that is a question for the prosecution,
my lord. I approached him a few days ago regarding
this and he only granted Keamogwetswe Machaba
clearance.”
The judge was annoyed with the prosecution for a

change.
Judge: (sigh) “What a waste of our time. She is free to

go, let one of the guards take her away. Next time,
may you please come with all your facts straight in
here. I don’t like surprises.”
Prosecutor: “Apologies, your worship.”
Priscilla was taken away immediately and she hugged

me before she left. It was rather bitter sweet for me.
I had no friend up there with me any more. I had my
own demons to face, I was born alone either way.
Judge: “You may continue, Advocate.”
Bella: “Thank you, your worship. As I was saying, the

court shall witness how men of this country operate,
more especially when they find a young girl in a rather
Page 1331 of 1871

vulnerable position. It’s no sin that men in this
country have a tendency of taking advantage of young
girls. Alfred Skosana, a man who presented himself to
the accused, a 17 year old girl at the time, promised
her heaven and earth. He already knew her home
situation was not a very pleasant one. Her mother
was ill and in and out of hospital while she had
siblings to feed. She is just a mere teenager with a
promising future. He took advantage of her and
showed her a lavish life and once she was head over
heels in love with him, he introduced her to a life of
crime. We have all been subjected to abuse at one
point in our lives. These men who stand before us are
no different to other mafia gangsters we know of.
They do crime and get rid of anyone who stands in
their way – even if they share a child with you. I will
prove to the court how they have abused the system
to get their way and how they simply took advantage
of a young, intelligent girl who now is facing charges
brought upon by them. What does a mere 17 year
old learner who is a top achiever by the way, know
about guns heists? I thankyou.”
She sat down while I noticed how the judge was

making notes along with all the other people in the
Page 1332 of 1871

front of the court. The Prosecutor wasn’t very
pleased with that opening statement, while Jerry and
Tshidi seemed rather nervous. I was yet to deal with
those two. He probably was the one who told Alfred
about my meeting with him. I had no idea what
Jerry’s plan was. What on earth was he up to?
Speaking of Alfred, he looked so bruised and was
most probably in pain but the show had to continue.
When I saw him dressed in that expensive Prada suit,
all I saw was the back stabbing mother fucker who
tried to kill me all in the name of love. Fuck him and
fuck his love, I thought to myself.
Judge: “The prosecution may proceed. I believe you

have a list of witnesses. You have shared the list with
the fellow advocates, am I correct?”
Prosecutor: “Yes, your honour.”
I never really bothered to ask Bella about any

potentially harmful witnesses as I knew that Tshidi
and Jerry were going to be obvious witnesses.
Masabatha was a possible character witness for me to
enhance my case, but nothing prepared me for the
next bomb that was going to be dropped.
Page 1333 of 1871

Prosecutor: “The prosecution calls upon its first
witness, Miss Nairobi Makeba.”
“What the fuck?” was exactly what went on in my

mind. I looked at Bella who didn’t seem surprised, so
it meant she knew about it. I looked at Alfred who
was not even bothered to look at me, nor was Zoro,
but Diesel on the other hand looked at me with a
smirk on his face. The both of them planned it. How
stupid was Nairobi to even testify against her own
sister. You know that feeling where you’re so afraid to
let go of a fart because you feel like you might pass
some feces instead? That’s how I felt at that
moment. I knew it was war but I never knew that it
was a war that even my own sibling would be a part
of. I then remembered the words; “your own
downfall will be caused by someone close to you”.
Nairobi would be the end of me. I could finally relate
to the story of Cain and Abel.

Chapter 62
Page 1334 of 1871

James 3:16 – “For where jealousy and selfish ambition
exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”
I was just hoping that I didn’t shit my pants right there

and then. She walked in dressed so well in Prada.
That girl was seriously testing me, honestly. The way
she looked at Diesel with such a broad smile sickened
me. She was so naïve. Jerry was looking at me so
smug, I felt like punching him in the face right there
and then. She took the stand, proudly. She was still a
minor though.
Guard: “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole

truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?”
Nairobi: “I do.”
Prosecutor: “Miss Makeba, please state your

relationship with the accused Nombulelo Makeba.”
Nairobi: (clearing throat) “Miss Nombulelo Makeba is

my elder sister, the first born in our family.”
Prosecutor: “Please elaborate on the sort of

relationship you have with the accused.”
Page 1335 of 1871

Nairobi: “We’re not really that close, in fact we’ve
never really been close.”
Prosecutor: “Why is that?”
Nairobi: “She has always been jealous of the fact that

my mother paid more attention to me. I was the only
one taken to private schools while she and my other
sister were taken to government schools.”
Prosecutor: “I can see how that can have an effect on

sibling rivalry.”
Bella: “Objection your honour, he is misleading the
witness.”
Judge: “Sustained. Please stick to your question and

get to the point.”
Prosecutor: “Apologies, your worship. Miss Makeba,

where were you on the night in question regarding
the murder of Pulane Makgatho?”
Nairobi: “I was at home.”
Page 1336 of 1871

Prosecutor: “And then what did you see when your
sister came back home?”
Nairobi: “She came home around 4am. I was very

surprised because she headed straight to the
bathroom. When I opened the door because I was
pressed she yelled at me to “get the fuck out”. She
had blood all over her hands and clothes.”
Now that was such a shocker for me. I could not even
close my mouth. She had been coached to lie under
oath just like that and all for Diesel.
Prosecutor: “And then what happened?”
Nairobi: “I closed the door but she was so edgy.

When she was done, I asked her whose blood that
was and she told me to stay out of her business. I
knew she was involved with Alfred and was doing a
lot of bad things, but I never thought that she could
actually kill anyone. When we heard of the heist I
remember that evening how she came home to stash
a large amount of money in the house. I would
ocassionally find large amounts of money in her
bedroom. She doesn’t have a job and so, why did she
Page 1337 of 1871

have a lot of money hidden in there? Couldn’t she
have gone to the bank?”
Bella: “Objection, your honour, heresay. Besides, how

is this witness relevant to the case when my client is
not being tried for any of these murderss? I thought
we cleared all that in your chambers earlier this
week.”
Judge: “Sustained. Can the prosecution please speed

this up? What’s the relevance of this witness?”
Prosecutor: “I am getting there, your honour. You see,
the accused stated that she knew nothing of the
murder and that she did not murder the deceased,
but here we have a witness, her very own sister who
is testifying against her and stating that she did see
her with blood on her hands that evening.”
Judge: (sigh) “Are you done with your questions?”
Prosecutor: “Yes, your honour.”
Judge: “Do you have any questions for the witness?”
Bella: “Yes, I do, your worship.”
Page 1338 of 1871

Judge: “The stage is yours.”
Bella stood up confidently and started asking Nairobi

questions.
Bella: “Miss Makeba, you say you and your sister do

not get on well, am I correct?”
Nairobi: “That’s correct.”
Bella: “Please give me the real reason why you say so,
I mean I doubt she would be so upset with you
attending at a private school when she herself has
obtained so many distinctions in all her subjects from
when she started attending school.”
Nairobi: “I don’t know what you mean, I already told

you the real reason.”
Bella: “Hmm, would you consider yourself an honest
and truthful girl, Nairobi?”
Nairobi: “Yes, I do.”
Page 1339 of 1871

Bella: “Hmm, what is your relationship with the
accused, Mr. Paul Mahlangu?”
That struck a cord because Advocate Mtshweni stood

up immediately.
Advocate Mtshweni: “Objection, your honour.

Relevance?”
Judge: “Is this going anywhere, Advocate?”
Bella: “Yes, your honour, I am asking for a chance

here.”
Judge: “Overruled. Continue.”
I saw Diesel’s smile slowly fade away. Clearly he and

Jerry never thought out their plan very well.
Bella: “Please answer the question, Miss Makeba.”
Nairobi: “I don’t understand the question.”
She was starting to crack.
Page 1340 of 1871

Bella: “Let me repeat it for you, how do you know Mr.
Paul Mahlangu known as Diesel?”
Nairobi: (nervously) “He… he is one of my sister’s

friends. He is friends with her boyfriend.”
Bella: “Friends with her or her boyfriend? Which one

is it?”
Nairobi: “Both.”
Bella: “Hmm, okay then. Let me summarize it all for

you. You say that she is a jealous person, yet she paid
all your fees for the year as well as all the outstanding
fees you had for the previous year, am I correct?”
Nairobi: “No… I paid for it.”
Bella: “How? You don’t have a job. Your mother left

you with nothing. How did you manage to pay over
R20 000 of school fees Miss Makeba?”
Nairobi: (nervously) “I… I…”
Bella: “Let me finish that sentence for you. Your

honour, in the file with Exhibit C2, you will find proof
Page 1341 of 1871

of payment of exactly R20 500 paid directly into the
witness’s school fees account. So, my client paid her
fees yet she calls her a jealous sister? In the very
same file, your worship, you will find a letter dated
months ago, where my client expressed her wishes to
reconcile with the witness due to the fact that the
witness here, Miss Nairobi Makeba was involved in a
sexual relationship with Mr. Paul Mahlangu. This very
same Paul Mahlangu impregnated her months ago, as
you will find the doctor’s report stating that she drank
something to terminate her pregnancy. She has the
nerve to stand right here in court and lie to all of us all
because of her relationship with one of the accused!”
Advocate Mtshweni: “Objection, your honour! She is

dragging my client!”
Judge: “Let her finish.”
Bella: “I am saying to the court that she was coerced

into being here! The prosecution knows very well
that children under the age of 16 do not testify in
court without parental consent. Now, since they have
no other guardian other than Mme (miss) Masabatha,
their current caregiver and nanny, who gave consent
Page 1342 of 1871

for this child to testify in here?! We are in the midst
of a trial – not a smear campaign to stab someone in
the back due to revenge, your worship.”
Judge: “Thank you, Advocate. Did the prosecution

consult any guardian before the witness could
testify?”
Prosecutor: “No, but we do have the go ahead of the

social worker.”
Judge: “And this particular scene she mentioned, was

there any proof of what she is talking about? Where
is the garment that had the blood on it? Can she
explain or describe the garment she wore that
evening?”
Nairobi: (nervously) “I… I… I cannot remember.”
The crowd gasped and made a few ruffling sounds.
Judge: (shaking head) “I did say at the start of this trial

that I hate surprises. This witness was a clear waste of
our time. The defense has made it clear that she is
not a credible witness I mean look at her, she looks so
Page 1343 of 1871

nervous and it seems as if she was not even fit to
testify. I will have to remove her testimony. It is null
and void.”
Bella smiled and winked at me while Nairobi was

almost in tears as she walked down that podium. The
judge was unimpressed, while the prosecution was
irritated. It was 1 point for me and 0 for Diesel and his
weak team.
Judge: “The prosecution may call upon its next

witness. Let us pray that this one is a credible one.”
Prosecutor: “The prosecution calls upon its next

witness, Detective Jerry Masombuka.”
Jerry stood up and walked towards the stand.
Guard: “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole

truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”
Jerry: “I do.”
Judge: “You may proceed.”
Page 1344 of 1871

Prosecutor: “Detective, please state your name and
what your occupation is.”
Jerry: “My name is Jerry Masombuka and I have been

a detective for the South African Police Service for
about 2 years now.”
That was not a very impressive CV.
Prosecutor: “I would like to start with accused

number 7, Miss Nombulelo Makeba. If I recall, you
stated that you have arrested her before, am I
correct?”
Jerry: “This is her third arrest though she was never

charged for anything. My colleague arrested her for
the first time for an assault case, and then I arrested
her for a robbery that occurred in a hotel nearby, and
then recently I arrested her for the current charges
she is facing.”
Prosecutor: “She has quite a number of offences for a

teenager. Do you mind telling the court of your first
encounter with her? What was she like to you? I
mean, what did you observe from her character?”
Page 1345 of 1871

Jerry: “Well, the first time I met her she seemed very
angry, violent and potentially dangerous. She can spit
fire, believe me and has a history of violence.”
Bella: “Objection, your honour, he is misleading the

evidence.”
Judge: “Sustained. Stick to answering the questions

you are being asked, detective.”
Jerry: “Apologies, your honour. Well, when I arrested

her at the hotel, she was sitting in a car all alone on
the roof top. She was in Mr. Steven Makunyane’s
vehicle, all alone. We found a gun but it didn’t belong
to her, of course.”
Prosecutor: “And she was not charged for anything

correct?”
Jerry: “Yes, that’s correct.”
Prosecutor: “On the night in question, when Pulane

Makgatho supposedly fell off the balcony, do you
Page 1346 of 1871

mind explaining to us what you recall from that
evening?”
Jerry: “We received a call from a very hysterical and

disturbed neighbor of Mr. Steven Makunyane. She
stated that she heard screams and a loud thud. My
partner and I headed there to investigate. We arrived
on the scene right after paramedics had taken her to
the nearest hospital. We were told she was in really
bad shape and they were amazed to find her alive on
the scene. We took them all in for questioning, but
they all denied any involvement and insisted that she
fell from the balcony by mistake after being drunk.”
Prosecutor: “And was she drunk?”
Jerry: “Yes, the alcohol found in her system was

enough to deem her drunk during the incident,
however the balcony is so high that it was impossible
for her to fall over unless she was pushed.”
Prosecutor: “And how was Miss Makeba’s behaviour

on the night in question?”
Page 1347 of 1871

Jerry: “She was actually very calm. She stood by her
words that she did nothing and was not to be held
accountable for anything that happened that evening
yet she never got along with the deceased, for
obvious reasons.”
Prosecutor: “What are those obvious reasons you are

referring to?”
Jerry: “The deceased was the mother of Mr. Alfred

Skosana’s two sons. They never really got along as Mr.
Skosana was still in a sexual relationship with the
deceased while in a relationship with co-accused Miss
Makeba.”
Prosecutor: “Based on your experience as a detective

and a former Leutenant in the police service, do you
think that she could have been enraged enough and
driven by so much jealousy to throw her off the
balcony?”
Jerry: “Yes, I do believe that. They had been in

multiple fights before, physical fights so to speak so it
is possible.”
Page 1348 of 1871

Prosecutor: “Right when it comes to the day in
question, when the heist occurred. Which evidence
suggests that she was involved in the heist itself?”
Jerry: “Nothing really other than credible witnesses,

her fingerprints being found on one of the used
vehicles as well as the uniforms they used and of
course, her statement.”
Prosecutor: “Judging from her age, do you think she

was coerced into doing this heist?”
Jerry: “No, she might come from a very bad

background that would give her reason enough to
partake in this heist. She is a strong willed girl, I
believe.”
Prosecutor: “No further questions, your honour.”
Bella stood up, it was her time to shine yet again.
Bella: “Detective, I undertand you are a very

passionate man, right?”
Jerry: “Yes, I love my job very much.”
Page 1349 of 1871

Bella: “I can see that. You still keep referring to the
murder yet my client is not being tried for that, let us
just get that fact straight.”
Jerry: “She is not, but she could always be re-tried for

it if there is enough evidence that suggests she was
indeed part of it.”
Bella: (smiling) “I like you very much, detective. You

are very right. You know your story, but since you like
going back to situations that are deemed irrelevant in
this court, let’s go back, shall we? You say you were
called by a neigbour that evening and you took them
in for questioning, am I correct?”
Jerry: “Yes.”
Bella: “Detective, do you consider yourself an

honourable and honest man?”
Jerry: “Yes.”
Bella: “There are these recordings on tape that you

have played for each of the accused, including my
Page 1350 of 1871

client on the night you arrested them and charged
them with the current charges they are facing. Are
you aware of them?”
Jerry: (nervously) “Yes, I am.”
Bella: “Who recorded these tapes, detective? I need

not remind you that you are under oath, sir.”
She smiled at him and adjusted her glasses. She was

the shortest person in there even in stilletos but she
was eating them all up. Jerry suddenly regretted
being on the stand.
Jerry: (nervously) “I… my partner.”
Bella: “Your partner who? Please specify.”
Prosecutor: “Objection, your honour, relevance.”
Judge: “Well, you asked him about the murder which

her client is no longer being tried for, so I would like to
hear where she is going with this. Please continue,
Advocate.”
Page 1351 of 1871

Bella: “Thank you, your honour. Please answer my
question, detective.”
Jerry: “My partner, Matshidiso.”
Bella: “According to my knowledge, your partner is

Sargeant Nkuna who is also a member of the police
service. So who is Matshidiso?”
Jerry: “She is a member of the hawks. She was part of

this investigation as well.”
Bella: “I see, but somehow you refrained from

including her in your original statement, sir. According
to my knowledge Matshidiso is the wife of one of the
co-accused Mr. Steven Makunyane, the very same
woman who is also pregnant with his child and who
was indeed part of the heist in question. Now, if she is
your partner, whether a lover or a colleague, how
come she formed part of a high profile case and
investigation yet it was not put on record, detective?
Are you telling me that you conducted this
investigation in a proper manner and that you did not
break any rules or crimes?”
Page 1352 of 1871

Jerry: “Yes, I conducted it the right way.”
Bella: “Yet there are recordings of conversations,

private conversations between partners and friends in
Mr. Steven Makunyane’s house that you played for
each of the accused when you were questioning
them. You deliberately sent someone to plant
listening devices in the accused’s house and used
them to taung and intimidate them all, specifically my
client! Are you a father, detective?”
Jerry: “Yes – no, not yet.”
Bella: “Which one is it?”
Jerry: “I am yet to be one, my wife is pregnant.”
Bella: “Hmm, and I assume that you’d want to protect

your daughter against the likes of you, isn’t it?”
Prosecutor: “Objection, your honour! She is

badgering the witness.”
Judge: “Sustained. Stick to the rules, advocate.”
Page 1353 of 1871

Bella: “Apologies, your honour. You see, I know how
cruel the police can be but you badgered an 18 year
old instead of offering her a chance to plead her case.
You offered all those men on the stand a plea bargain,
yet you never offered my client one. She had to beg
you for one! Did she not tell you how she was forced
into gangsterism by her boyfriend?! What does a
learner, a top achiever know about guns and heists?
What could she have possibly learnt in the few
months that she was dating her co-accused? I put it
to you, detective that you are a sexist. You do not
protect girls from men like her co-accused. You
deliberately used your own resources to outsource
and gather information against my client. You want to
see an 18 year old go to prison for a crime she didn’t
commit. You have no credible evidence against her
and even after she told you her story, you still saw
fault in her. No further questions, my lord.”
I was smiling all the way. I could tell just how spite
Diesel was and he most probably wanted Bella to be
his lawyer instead of Bongani’s useless partner. The
light seemed quite bright at the end of the tunnel. I
had hope. We had a short recess and Bella got me
some food and alerted me that things were looking
Page 1354 of 1871

good and she had hope. I was under the impression
that the trial would take very long, but right after the
recess, Advocate Mtshweni dropped a bomb on us all.
Advocate Mtshweni: “I am afraid there has been a

slight change in the case, my lord. Two of my clients
would like to change their plea from not guilty to
guilty.”
The crowd gasped.
Judge: “That saves us a lot of time, who are those?”
Advocate Mtshweni: “Mr. Steven Makunyane and Mr.

Alfred Skosana, who had already pleaded guilty.”
Judge: “Specify the charges they plead guilty to.”
Advocate Mtshweni: “Mr. Steven Makunyane pleads

guilty to the following: The murder of Puseletso
Makgatho, conducting and partaking in the heist and
the rest of the activities. He pleads guilty to
obstructing and defeating the ends of justice. Mr.
Skosana is pleading guilty to the murder of Pulane
Page 1355 of 1871

Makgatho as well as the rest of the charges brought
against him.”
I was indeed shocked. Zoro looked so uninterested

and tired.
Judge: “Very well then. Those two will undergo

separate trials from this one since they have pleaded
guilty to the murder charges. This could have saved
us a lot of time. Please take them away.”
The two of them were taken away and they could

barely look at me. Diesel and Biggie still remained and
pleaded not guilty. After statements were heard and
witnesses testified against them, I got the shock of my
life when Sargeant Nkuna was called to the stand. He
took his oath and the prosecutor asked him
questions. He was very honest and didn’t flinch one
bit.
Prosecutor: “Please state your name and what you do

for a living.”
Nkuna: “My name is Phillip Nkuna and I am a sergeant

in the police service.”
Page 1356 of 1871

Prosecutor: “Have you met the accused before?”
Nkuna: “Yes, I have.”
Prosecutor: “I believe you have arrested her a few

times, correct?”
Nkuna: “Yes, the first time I had to take her into the
station as there was a charge of assault made against
her.”
Prosecutor: “And you believe based on what you have

seen that she has a violent streak?”
Nkuna: “No, I believe she only gets angry when

someone deliberately makes her angry. She is a
troubled girl who has been through quite a lot.”
Prosecutor: “Are you a sergeant or a pshycologist?”
Nkuna: “I am a sergeant who has done psychology,

sir. It does not take a psychologist to notice a child
who is troubled.”
Page 1357 of 1871

Prosecutor: “Very well then. Based on all the
evidence, you believe that she could have conducted
this heist?”
Nkuna: “Nothing else other than her cellphone that

was found at the scene and her fingerprints suggest
that she could ever orchestrate something like that.
Unfortunately, I was not invited in the questioning.
My partner detective Masombuka questioned them
alone.”
Prosecution: “No further questions.”
His witness ended up being sort of on my side. I was

really happy to see him being so honest. It took a lot
of guts to be so different to the rest of the people in
the police service. I thought that I had won and
overcome. I felt victorious but little did I know that
my fate was already decided and I was to hear it that
very day.
As said in John 16:11 – “Concerning judgment,

because the ruler of this world is judged.”
Chapter 63
Page 1358 of 1871

Matthew 15:14 – “Let them alone; they are blind
guides. And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall
into a pit.”
There was yet another short recess. According to my

understanding I was to go back until the verdict was
to be decided on, but I suppose God had other plans
for me that day. Bella was called into the chambers
along with Advocate Mtshweni and the Prosecutor.
They deliberated for about an hour in there while I
caught up with Millicent and Masabatha. Seeing
them and being around them made me feel normal
again despite all the drama that was surrounding me.
I was trending all over social media so I heard and all
over the news papers. My enemies were most
probably very happy to see me in that state. While I
was sitting on one of the benches under police guard
of course, I saw someone whom I hadn’t seen in quite
some time, Alfred’s mother. I thought she would
greet me with the same warmth she welcomed me
with when we met, but she was so angry at me.
Nombulelo: “Oh, hi, Mme (ma). How nice to see you

again.”
Page 1359 of 1871

Alfie’s mom: (angrily) “Aren’t you ashamed of
yourself?”
Alfie’s mom: “You put my son in prison and wrote all

those lies in your statement. You took a father away
from his children right after you killed his unborn
twins! Could you not have waited for yourself to give
birth and hand them over to him?! You township girls
are all the same!”
She basically vilified me and looked at me as if I

disgusted her. It honestly hurt me a little. I knew that
some women were horrible but she just showed me
never to trust anyone. I was so shocked that I didn’t
have any words left to say to her. I didn’t want to get
angry and attack her as well, it wouldn’t have looked
good for my court case.
Masabatha: “Mme (ma), with all due respect, please

give us some space. You are not welcome here.”
Masabatha was hardly rude to anyone as far as I could

remember but the way she looked at Alfred’s mother
Page 1360 of 1871

showed me that she too could be rude if she wanted
to be. She looked at Masabatha and I saw how her
demeanour changed instantly as if she became fearful
and just simply walked away. I could feel the tears
building up within me. What did I expect? Did I
expect her to love me? I made that guy more money
than he ever had and that was the thanks I got. After
the deliberating, the court was in process yet again. I
went back to the dock and somehow I just knew that I
was not going to go back home any time soon. I could
feel it.
Judge: “The prosecution may start with the closing

statement.”
The prosecution stated whatever he stated regarding

the three of us and still maintained the idea that we
deserved punishment – no matter how small our
roles were in the crimes that were committed.
Judge: “The defence may start with their closing

statement.”
Advocate Mtshweni stated that her two clients had no

criminal records and that they just became victims to
Page 1361 of 1871

the poor justice system and that they too deserved a
less harsh prison statement. It was then Bella’s time
to present her closing statement to the court.
Bella: “I believe there’s good in everyone – no matter

what you are capable of. We have seen throughout
the duration of this trial how this young girl was
vilified for falling in love with a gangster. We have
heard how she was subjected to abuse, and we have
heard how this case was not even conducted on
merit. Too many times the justice system fails young
girls like her because they suffer the consequences for
being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I do
believe that every deed no matter how good or bad
deserves punishment but we should keep all the
factors that came into play in mind. She will not even
get to write her matric exams because of all this –
because of a man, a man she trusted. A man who
took advantage of her along with his friends. This
narrative should be stopped; once we raise young,
confident women who can be able to sustain
themselves there will be less women in prison
because they would realize that you do not need a
man to achieve your dreams.”
Page 1362 of 1871

That was the end of her statement. I just knew that
she was trying to tell me that I will be going back to
prison.
Judge: “Very well. It took me quite a long time to

consider all your statements. This case was not a very
easy one but as a Judge of the court, it is my duty to
do what’s right – even though at times I do not agree
with myself. The law is the law, no matter how big or
small the crime is, punishment must be served. If I do
not do this, then many young girls like the accused
will do what she did and end up being repeat
offenders. I believe that punishment must be served
so that she knows not to return to an incarceration
facility. The court has reaced a conclusion. Based on
all evidence and statements provided as well as all the
incrimination conversations and proof of payments
that occurred between the accused over the phone, a
verdict has been reached. Due to the nature of the
case, sentencing will commence right after the verdict
has been given – which is today. Concerning Accused
number 2, Paul Mahlangu, as well as Accused number
3, Bongani Mokone, regarding the charge of
conspiracy to commit murder as well as the pre-
meditated murder of Puseletso Makgatho, they are
Page 1363 of 1871

both found guilty. On the charge of the murder of
Pulane Makgatho the accuseds are found not guilty,
but found guilty on the charge of withholding
information regarding the murder. On the charge of
impersonating a police officer, gaining illegal entry
into a military base, partaking in the heist, they are
both found guilty.”
I felt as if my entire world was coming to a standstill.

The man was on a roll. Then it was my turn. I felt as if
I was holding my breath throughout.
Judge: “Concerning accused number 8, Nombulelo

Makeba, both charges of murder have been revoke,
therefore she will not be charged for either of them.”
I felt as if I could breathe for a while as he said that. I

heard a few gasps, sighs of relief and claps in
between.
Judge: “However, there is conclusive evidence that

she indeed partook in the heist. She acted on chice
irregardless of the abuse and manipulation she was
subjected to. Therefore on the following charges:
impersonating a police officer, she is found guilty.”
Page 1364 of 1871

That became a very common word in court that day. I
just hated that word from that day onwards. With
every conclusion he had come to, my heart was
pounding.
Judge: “On the charge of gaining access into military

grounds illegally, she is found not guilty. There is no
evidence that suggests she was present that day. On
the charge of partaking in the heist, she is found
guilty.”
I nearly collapsed and the world became quiet for a

few minutes while I heard a lot of people clap and
celebrate in court.
Judge: “Sentencing is as follows.”
I heard his voice become fainter by the minute as if I

was blocking out all information regarding Diesel and
Biggie. Their future was of no significance to me.
Judge: “Accused number 8 will be sentenced as

follows; 3 years suspended sentence for
impersonating a police officer, 6 years sentence for
Page 1365 of 1871

partaking in a heist, with the possibily of parole after 1
year based on good behaviour. She is also ordered by
the court to attend anger management classes while
serving her sentence. Failure to do so will result in no
possibility of parole. Court is adjourned.”
I heard so many voices and people wanting to talk to

me, with cameras flashing right at me. My eyes were
just fixated on Bella who kept reassuring me that
everything would be fine and that she was following
me to the prison. I had no idea what the judge meant
by it all, but I just heard years and I sank into an
immediate depression. I was handcuffed and taken
back to prison, and given an official prison uniform
which made everything official. I started to feel like a
real convict. It was the start of my sentence and I felt
so dead inside. Everyone around me tried reassuring
me that it would all be fine, but I had never felt so
numb. Soon after I was taken back to my cell, one of
the warders cam e to tell me that my lawyer had
come to speak to me. I went ahead and found Bella
in that familiar room waiting for me. She looked quite
defeated and saddened and hugged me for the very
first time since we met. I had no reaction whatsoever
Page 1366 of 1871

– not that I was blaming her, but it felt as if my life was
over.
Bella: “Hey, look it’s not over yet. I can try and get an
appeal in a month or two. You can be out of here in
less than a year. I just need you to understand why
the judge reached that verdict.”
Nombulelo: “There’s no need to explain yourself,

Bella. You really did your utmost best and for that I
am truly grateful. You gave me hope.”
Bella: “I just wanted to give you a fighting chance.”
Nombulelo: “You fighting for me was my fighting

chance. You know, for some reason I believe that had
I not been in here, I would not have been able to
leave that crew. I would have probably been killed.
You actually saved me.”
I could tell she was very sad about the entire situation
but she couldn’t possibly win every single case
assigned to her. I had to serve my time, as hard as it
really was for me. She said her goodbyes but
promised to keep in touch. At that point I had learnt
Page 1367 of 1871

not to have high hopes for anyone who promised me
anything. That very night was not my first night in
prison but it felt so different, a month later. I spent it
calculating the years that I would have to spend in
there. By the time I’d have finished my sentence, I
would have been 24, and I never knew that a day was
counted as two days in prison but it still felt like
forever. I could not sleep – no matter how hard I
tried, I just could not. My heart felt so heavy like a
severely heavy object was placed right on top of me. I
kept hearing my mother’s voice “what were you
thinking, Nombulelo?” I started blaming her all over
again. She put me in that mess, actually. Had it not
been for her and her bad choices, I would have made
better ones. I would not have seen the need to be
involved with Alfred to take care of her children. I had
so many negative emotions playing around in my
head. My mind was overworked and no positive
thought came to mind. Once again I was filled with so
much anger and deep regret. The emotions were just
piling up by the minute and I only realized that I didn’t
sleep at all when I heard the cell doors being unlocked
the following morning for roll call. Thank goodness I
was not placed in a different cell although I basically
had friends in every block by then. Priscilla’s bed was
Page 1368 of 1871

already occupied by a new girl who just wouldn’t stop
talking.
Mam’Rachel welcomed me back but I was in no

mood to speak to anyone. I went to take a shower as
usual and sait with the usual crew during breakfast. I
hardly touched my food and they tried by all means to
involve me in their conversations but I was not in a
talkative mood. Mam’Rachel told them to give me
some time to adjust to rrality and they let me be.
When it was time to go outside, I was called to ggo
and meet the social worker assigned to my case. I
couldn’t exactly say no, as it was part of my
‘rehabilitation’. I didn’t even look at her the moment I
walked in there. I just sat on that chair and looked
up. She said her name was Beverly and the way I was
so distraught I just didn’t pay much attention to her.
Beverly: “Nombulelo, we meet again.”
When I looked right at her, I was surprised how she

greeted me as if she knew me, yet I couldn’t recall her
whatsoever. She looked a bit young, probably in her
mid or late 20s.
Page 1369 of 1871

Nombulelo: (frowning) “Do I know you?”
Beverly: (smiling) “I doubt you would remember me. I

was once assigned a case of a very feisty girl – your
mother. I was alongside your grandmother for quite
some time before she passed on. I was supposed to
continue with your case right after your mother
passed away, but somehow it was taken away from
me. I am sorry for your loss.”
She clearly knew my mother and grandmother very

well. Her humility really softened me up. I wasn’t
one to open up to anyone but she just had something
about her that made me feel at ease.
Beverly: “How have you been? I was hoping to see

you again afer our last encounter – well, not under
these circumstances of course.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know how I have been to be

honest. I don’t even know where to start.”
Beverly: “Hmm, I see. I can imagine how tough it

must be for you to be in here when you were doing
Page 1370 of 1871

your matric and all, but I can assure you it is not the
end.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Well, Beverly, I know you mean

well, but I would much rather be quiet right now.”
Beverly: “Okay, I understand. Believe me you are not

the first client to react like that and it’s okay, but what
I can assure you is the sooner you speak to me, the
less you will have to see of me. It is procedure for us
to have these sessions so that I can assess you and
then I can schedule you for anger management
classes.”
Nombulelo: “And if I don’t want to? Then what?”
Beverly: “If I write that on your report, it adds on a

pile of problems against you. It portrays you as
someone who is not willing to be rehabilitated so
therefore, your parole will be revoked and you will be
forced to serve your full sentence.”
Okay, that was a wake up call when she said that. I

had to oblige and commit to it so that I could get out
of there sooner.
Page 1371 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Okay then. What do we have to talk
about?”
Beverly: “First you have to open up to me and tell me

how you feel, how you really feel so that I can know
how to assist you.”
I sat there for a little while contemplating where to

start. The truth was that I wasn’t trying to be rude at
all. She seemed way too nice to me for me to even be
rude to her, but I just didn’t see how speaking to her
would help me, other than getting good reports so I
could get out of that place.
Beverly: “I can see you are battling, so I can start. Let

me tell you a bit about myself. I graduated a few years
ago, and your mother was the very first case I was
assigned to. She was a real tough cookie that one,
sadly I never got through to her, but such cases give
me motivation to keep going, you know. I grew up
with my mother. I was the only child and I never
knew my father while growing up. We struggled since
she didn’t have a good job but each day I got up for
school, I made a promise to her and myself that I’d
Page 1372 of 1871

keep working hard so that I could graduate one day.
Here I am, taking it one day at a time. I love helping
young girls, you know. We fall prey to so many things
and people out there that often times we find
ourselves in situations that just cripple us. I saw your
case on TV and I may not know what happened
exactly, but just know that I am here whenever you
need to talk.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Well, that’s a very touching and
rather positive story. Your mom must have been a
very loving woman.”
Beverly: “Believe me, she fought long and hard to get

me where I am. I would be nothing without her.”
Nombulelo: “That’s nice. My mother was the

complete opposite. How would you feel if your mom
blew her entire inheritance, had multiple children
with different fathers, who are not even present by
the way, dated a pastor, had his wife kill her two
children with that pastor and then died from cancer,
leaving you as the bread winner?”
Page 1373 of 1871

I had no idea that I was slowly opening up to her like
that. She was making notes while asking me
questions.
Beverly: “That must not have been an easy way to

grow up.”
Nombulelo: “It wasn’t at all. My grandmother was

fine raising me. Then she had to die and I was stuck
with my mother. She didn’t raise us too well, though I
can’t give her all the credit for being a complete
asshole. My life came to a complete standstill when
she died. Imagine; no will, no money, no assets –
nothing. If my grandmother hadn’t left me her house,
I’d probably be a prostitute as we speak.”
I felt my eyes burn a little. Coarse tears are the most

painful ones to let out.
Beverly: “So you met your boyfriend and he

introduced you to crime, right?”
Nombulelo: (teary) “Yes, I mean it’s not like I wanted

to be a criminal, you know. I had no idea where I’d
get the money to feed my four siblings, so I turned to
Page 1374 of 1871

him. He was the knight in shining armour. He treated
me so well, paid for my mother’s hospital bills and the
list just goes on and on. I doubt I would even smell
this good right now if it wasn’t for him. If I had the
choice, I’d probably do it again than starve to death.”
The first part of my tears rolled down my cheeks. It

felt like a volcano waiting to erupt. I hated crying in
front of anyone – even Michelle knew that. From
there, I just kept on talking.
Nombulelo: “Then everything was fine, I gave myself

to him, you know. He was the very first man I have
ever slept with. He met my family, and my best friend
and then my best friend had to die in an accident
caused by the mother of his children. I don’t think I
can ever heal from that. I mean the miscarriage was a
bad thing, but it didn’t hurt me at all. Michelle’s
death is something that I can never get past.”
She listened to me so attentively and patiently and for

the first time in a very long time I cried for an entire
hour while venting to that poor woman. She just
listened and didn’t judge me at all. It felt so good to
Page 1375 of 1871

let it all out without wanting to beat someone up for a
change.
Nombulelo: (deep sigh) “I am so sorry for venting to

you like that. I don’t normally do this.”
Beverly: “It’s okay, it is my job after all, hey. This was a

very fruitful session. I really appreciate you opening
up to me. It’s a great start.”
Nombulelo: “So? Are you going to diagnose me or

something?”
Beverly: “Oh, no. I am not a psychologist. You don’t

need one, you just need anger management therapy
just as the judge ordered. We have group sessions
here every Thursday and Friday. I am always around
and I chair the sessions as well. We learn how to
forgive and let go of the past traumas that are
haunting us. You can come to the one we will be
having tomorrow.”
I agreed without hesitation. It was the first step I took

towards healing. I was actually hoping to heal and let
go. By then it was nearing the end of June, and I was
Page 1376 of 1871

still struggling to adjust but Priscilla organized me a
cellphone so that I could at least keep tabs on my
sister and the twins. She kept visiting me every week
and kept me up to date with life itself. That kept me
sane and slowly I was learning to come to terms with
my new life. I ignored all the negative comments that
were being made about me all over social media. It is
amazing how fast hate can be spread around. The
anger management classes were helping a lot. I
hadn’t had a fight ever since being sentenced and
Martha had been moved to another cell. She was
badly injured after Alfred hired people to attack her
ever since she tried to kill me, but I was very happy
not to hear from him since the trial. It gave me a new
sense of hope for a new beginning. Months passed
and Christmas came. I was in prison for 6 months by
then. A lot can happen in six months. I had made
friends and even got a little job in the kitchen. The
food was not doing the things for me, honestly so I
offered to spice things up a little bit. I made really
nice food and whenever I was part of the kitchen staff
everyone felt like getting seconds. It was nice being
able to use my talents like that. After our little
Christmas party, the warden called me into her office.
Page 1377 of 1871

I was a bit hesitant because no one ever got called
into her office unless it was quite serious.
Warden: “Oh, hi Nombulelo. You may be seated

please.”
Nombulelo: “I hope I am not in trouble.”
Warden: “No, you’re not. It’s actually good news.”
I frowned as she handed me a white envelope. I

opened it and it was a letter addressed to me.
Warden: “You have been given parole and you will be

leaving this place on the 1st of January.”
I was astounded actually, so much so that my heart

nearly jumped out of my chest.
Nombulelo: (shocked) “Is this real?”
Warden: “Yes, it is. I don’t know which strings you

pulled, baby girl, but you are one lucky fish. Whoever
did this for you must really like you. Now, go on and
Page 1378 of 1871

prepare yourself to say goodbye to your friends. You
have less than a week before you leave.”
I thanked her and walked out of there with a wide

smile on my face. I couldn’t contain my joy. I was
happy and at peace but who could say no to an
opportunity to leave prison? When I went back to my
cell, I found Mam’Rachel there as usual.
Mam’Rachel: “Care to share the good news?”
Nombulelo: (excitedly) “Oh, I have been given parole.

I am leaving on the 1st of January.”
Mam’Rachel: (nodding) “You are one lucky girl,

Nombulelo. You must thank that man who made all
this possible.”
I frowned and looked at her puzzled.
Nombulelo: “Which man?”
Mam’Rachel: “He will reveal himself to you soon,

don’t you worry about that.”
Page 1379 of 1871

I was overjoyed. Millicent was going to Grade 9 while
I had no idea what Nairobi was up to or even if she
was going back to school. The twins were celebrating
their first birthday, it was just a good day to be
honest. I didn’t believe in Christmas miracles, but I
believed that it was mine that day. Slowly I was
adjusting to my second chance. On the 31st of
December, I was taken to isolation since I was leaving
prison the following day. It was procedure in case
someone would have tried to kill me for leaving.
Prisoners had a tendency of being a little too clingy,
you know. Most of them just have a certain mentality
that they somehow belong in there forever and want
to drag anyone else along with them. I remember
feeling so differently that night and I had yet another
dream of my best friend Michelle after not having
dreamt of any of my deceased loved ones in quite a
long while.
Michelle: (smiling) “My friend, how I wish I could be

there with you in the flesh, but know one thing that I
am always watching.”
Nombulelo: “You haven’t visited me in so long.”
Page 1380 of 1871

Michelle: “I don’t always have to visit, but I am always
watching. I hope now you realize how big this chance
is for you – grab it with both hands and fulfil your
destiny.”
Nombulelo: “I hope I get the chance to. Life hasn’t

been easy without you.”
Michelle: “No one said it would get easier, in fact now

is the time you will have to toughen up more than
ever. I love you.”
Nombulelo: “Wait.”
She was gone by the time I wanted to ask more

questions. I was woken up by the cell doors being
unlocked and opened. I was told it was time for me to
leave. I was so humbled walking through that prison
corridor one last time with everyone standing outside
their cells giving me a little walk of honour. That
prison had become my home for a while and I was
surely going to miss all those cell mates – well, some
of them. I was handed the clothes I had arrived in the
very first day of prison, my red evening gown. I had
nothing else to wear, really
Page 1381 of 1871

but I just refused to wear that. I had to leave the
prison uniform behind and had already given
Masabatha my old clothes to take away when I was
sentenced. I got into that evening gown and my heart
was just heavy. Flashbacks of that unfortunate
evening revisited me again.
Warder: “I hope I don’t get to see you in here again.”
Nombulelo: “Trust me, I don’t intend on coming

back.”
When they escorted me out and the gate was

opened, it felt like I was leaving a big part of my life
behind. I wasn’t going to be nostalgic about it – no
one likes prison. When I was about to walk forward, I
noticed Priscilla standing right outside the prison in
front of her silver BMW. She had told me that she
would be there to fetch me and take me home. I
became so teary knowing just how consistent she was
with her promises – none of them were empty. I
walked hastily towards her and gave her a big, long
hug. The air outside felt so different; so fresh.
Page 1382 of 1871

Priscilla: “Alright now, you are not going to cry on me.
You are not that kind of girl. Hop in, we have lots to
do today.”
Nombulelo: “I was under the impression that I was

going straight home.”
Priscilla: “Oh, no, honey. You and I are going

shopping.”
She was serious. She took me out shopping for a few

new outfits – simple outfits and then took me out for
some breakfast. It was an entirely new adjustment
being outside prison. I wasn’t used to the noise and
haste of the outside world any more. Six months can
really do a number on you. I noticed a few stares and
glares from people who might have recognized me,
but I just tried my best to ignore them. I had been
eating an entirely different menu in prison and had
actually gained some weight. She took me to Wimpy
and ordered all different kinds of food for me.
Priscilla: “It’s time for you to feast, baby girl.”
Page 1383 of 1871

The waitress came to take our order and she started
placing our order; from the breakfast special to the
biggest burger they had, she ordered all the different
types of meat they had as well as milkshakes.
Nombulelo: “Who’s going to finish all that food?”
Priscilla: (chuckling) “We are, silly. We have so much

to plan today.”
Nombulelo: “I am all ears.”
Priscilla: “Well, seeing that you are now an ex-convict

– no offence, and you have a criminal record. It is
high time we start planning what we’re going to do
for income.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “I honestly don’t know, I mean

judging by all these looks I’ve been getting, no one
would even want to buy anything from me.”
Priscilla: “Fuck them. You’ll be old news to them in a

week. You know that no one trends forever.”
Nombulelo: “What did you have in mind?”
Page 1384 of 1871

Priscilla: “I was thinking we could open our own little
food stall, you know. You are very good at cooking
and I can learn a thing or two from you. We could run
it together.”
Nombulelo: “That’s not a bad idea, but you and I as

legitimate business owners? It will take a while for
that to sink in.”
We both laughed.
Priscilla: “Seriously, though. It was very hard for me

whe I was released from prison. I was looked at in a
different way, you know. Family started distancing
themselves from me and of course I lost a lot of
friends. It became so hard that Diesel’s family tried to
take my daughter away from me.”
Nombulelo: (shocked) “What? Oh, honey, why didn’t

you tell me?”
Priscilla: “You were in prison dealing with your own

life, I couldn’t possibly bombard you with my
problems as well.”
Page 1385 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I hope that didn’t happen, though.”
Priscilla: “Girl, have you met my mother? When they

tried to come to my house with a social worker, she
threatened to throw boiling water at all of them.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t understand, though. Why would

they try and take her away from you when you have
been his girlfriend for so long?”
Priscilla: “Because that’s just how men’s mothers are.

They think they are so perfect and that my daughter
can’t possibly be raised by a criminal of a mother. Yet
their son introduced me to this lifestyle. Diesel is in
prison yet I am the bad guy according to them. It’s
horrible, I don’t even let her visit them any more.”
Nombulelo: “And Diesel? Have you spoken to him

since the trial?”
Priscilla: “No, he calls me every chance he gets no

matter how many times I have changed my number. I
just let it ring unanswered.”
Page 1386 of 1871

Nombulelo: “But don’t you think you should be a lot
more careful? What if he sends someone to come
after you?”
Priscilla: “Girl, that’s been happening. There are eyes

and ears everywhere. I get followed every chance
they get. Even now, do you honestly think that he
doesn’t know where I am? Don’t even think that
Alfred has forgotten about you because he won’t let
go that easily.”
I became a little alarmed when she said that. He had

connections, inside and outside of prison and judging
by the way our relationship ended, he would have
tried to get me killed. I wasn’t really that safe, but I
was not going to start worrying about Alfred on my
very first day out of prison. We had a feast that
morning. My tastebuds had quite a party and I
nibbled on everything and anything. I took some
takeaways of course because it was impossible to
finish all that food. One thing I was mostly excited
about was seeing Millicent and the twins. I honestly
missed my sister so much. Priscilla was a darling and
understood that I needed time to adjust and relax a
bit at home in my own room, so she dropped me off
Page 1387 of 1871

and drove back home despite it being a New Year. I
might not have been home for 6 months, but the y
ard looked rather empty and unclean. The outside
rooms looked quite untidy, as if the people weren’t
cleaning any more. I couldn’t understand it because
our tenants were quite neat. I looked around and
didn’t notice any curtains or blinds hanging on the
tenants’ windows. The moment I walked in, I found
Millicent in the kitchen making tea. When she saw
me she just attacked me with a hug and sobbed in my
arms.
Nombulelo: “Hey, it’s okay. I am home.”
Millicent: (sobbing) “I’m so glad you’re home. I didn’t

actually believe you’d be here today.”
Nombulelo: “It’s me and I am home. Everything will

be fine from now onwards. Where’s everyone?”
Millicent: “Nairobi’s out, I don’t know where to.

Masabatha is in mom’s bedroom with the kids.”
I nodded.
Page 1388 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Let me go say hi.”
Millicent was so excited that she offered to make me

my favourite meal. I was just so full from eating
anything and everything that morning that I even
handed her the takeaways I had brought with me. I
was slowly analyzing the house while walking towards
my mother’s bedroom. It still looked in tact from
where I was. When I walked into the bedroom, the
first thing I noticed was Masabatha’s frail looking
state. She had lost quite a bit of weight and didn’t
look very well. When she saw me I could see she was
forcing herself to smile. She hugged me tightly, and I
could tell she needed the hug more than I did.
Masabatha: (voice breaking) “I am so happy you are

home.”
Nombulelo: “Me too, Mme (ma). What’s wrong? You

don’t look very well.”
Masabatha: (faint smile) “I’m fine. I am just tired.

Come and see your siblings. They’re sleeping now but
you can pick them up.”
Page 1389 of 1871

I really didn’t want to bring any bad vibes or a bad
aura into the house, most certainly not around the
children. Priscilla was kind enough to supply me with
some herbs she had gotten from Baba when she got
out of prison for cleansing.
Nombulelo: “Let me go and take a bath first. I will

pick them up once I am done.”
Masabatha nodded with understanding but my heart

wasn’t at ease. I just felt so guilty for not being
around. It seemed to be that she was stressed.
Nairobi most certainly did not make her life any easier
without me around that was one thing I was certain
of. I used the herbs as advised and got dressed. I
ensured to put all the clothes away that I had worn
while in prison and the outfit I wore when I got out. I
was instructed to burn it when I had the chance. I got
out of my bedroom and asked Masabatha to come
and have tea with me. She needed like she could use
a shoulder to cry on. Millicent made us some tea and
gave us some space. She was someone I could
depend on and she had good mannerisms.
Page 1390 of 1871

Nombulelo: “How have things been ever since I was in
prison?”
Masabatha: (deep sigh) “I honestly don’t know where

to start.”
I could see she was on the verge of breaking down. I

held her hand and she just burst into tears. I knew
something was off when I didn’t see her usual positive
energy when I walked into that bedroom. She didn’t
even offer to pray for me. I felt so guilty. It was all my
fault to begin with. I held her hand until she was
done sobbing. There is nothing cute about someone
eldery crying. It just brings nothing but emotional
turmoil to me.
Masabatha: “I don’t know where to start, my child. I

am just exhausted. I have no problem looking after
the kids and Millicent has been very helpful, but your
sister has made my life a living hell.”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Who? Nairobi?”
Masabatha: (nodding) “Yes. She hasn’t returned to

school ever since your trial. She doesn’t sleep and
Page 1391 of 1871

makes noise on end. She brings friends over here and
whenever I tried to reprimand her, she told me that
this is not my house. She is the reason your tenants
are not here anymore. She chased them away and
gave herself one of the rooms outside. The other two
she uses them to accommodate her friends when she
hosts parties. I have refrained from telling them
anything because they too insult me whenever I
speak.”
That broke my heart and angered me immediately.
Nombulelo: “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Masabatha: “I didn’t want to upset you. You had

enough problems of your own to deal with in that
place. I was just waiting for you to come home. I love
you, I love those kids and I adore Millicent, but I feel it
is best for me to go back to my house. I cannot be
subjected to such anymore, I feel I will truly lose my
mind if I stay here another minute longer.”
I understood very well where she was coming from.
Page 1392 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Ma, it’s honestly okay. I understand
totally. You don’t have to explain yourself even
further. For the mere fact that you even stood by my
siblings and I during this time, I owe you my life.
Millicent has been paying you as I instructed her to,
right?”
Masabatha: “Yes I have been receiving my monthly

payments, I truly appreciate it.”
Nombulelo: “You have done so much for me, Mme

(ma). Hang on a second, I will send you some money
as a bonus, just to say thank you.”
Masabatha: “No, no, please don’t do that. I did it out

of the goodness of my heart. I don’t expect you to
pay me any more than you already have. Besides, I
still have the December bonus you asked her to give
me.”
She was adamant that I would need the money more

than anything, in fact she insisted that I would need
it. I had no idea why, but I knew that she probably
knew more than I did at that point. It was a relief for
her to see me. She wasted no time further and filled
Page 1393 of 1871

me in on the twins’ routine, what they ate for
breakfast, lunch and supper and the times they
needed to take a nap. I honestly thought that she was
a Godsent but I understood why she had to leave. I
helped her pack along with Millicent and we
requested an Uber for her. The send off was just
bitter sweet. The twins were still sleeping by then and
Millicent was kind enough to prepare their lunch for
them in case they woke up. I opened the outside
rooms with my master keys only to be met with
horror. The rooms were so dirty and one looked like it
was nearly burnt down. Nairobi was really out on a
mission to destroy everything my grandmother
worked hard for.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “What has she been eating if

everything was done by you and Masabatha?”
Millicent: “She would eat the food that I bought.”
Nombulelo: “So, basically she helps with nothing?”
Millicent: (shaking head) “No.”
Page 1394 of 1871

I was angry and I knew that I would grab her by the
throat had she come to me with a nasty attitude. I
called her and her phone rang unanswered. I called
her about 4 more times before she answered me.
Nairobi: “What?!”
I could tell she was in a very noisy area and most

probably drinking.
Nombulelo: “I’m back home. I need you to come

here right away.”
Nairobi: “I’m kind of busy right now.”
Nombulelo: “Well, I am giving you 15 minutes. If you

are not here within that time period, you will find all
your belongings right outside the gate.”
I hung up and waited impatiently for her to return. By

then the twins had woken up and it was going to be
yet another huge adjustment for them both and
myself. They were so used to Masabatha and now
they would have had to get used to my unfamiliar
face. They were just a year old but had grown so
Page 1395 of 1871

much. I could tell just how beautiful Hannah was, just
like my mother. Isaiah had such deep and cute
dimples. No one in my family that I knew of had
dimples, so he must have gotten them from his rapist
father. I was watching the time while Millicent was
feeding the twins. She could tell I was getting agitated
by the minute. I hastily went to the outside room that
Nairobi was using and packed all the clothes she had
in a big plastic bag and put it right near the gate. She
had all kinds of luxury clothing in there but thank
goodness my bedroom remained untouched. It was
clean so I could tell Millicent had kept it together for
all those months. Nairobi arrived 30 minutes later as I
expected and found me waiting for her right outside.
She jumped out of a Quantum filled with girls and
boys who looked much much older than her. It was
only 2pm yet she looked like she had been drinking
the entire night for that matter.
Nairobi: (loudly) “Hold on, guys! My convict sister has

just arrived back from prison! You guys remember
her, don’t you?!”
I could hear them answer her in a very low tone and

could not even look at me. At least some people
Page 1396 of 1871

were still afraid of me. The fact that I had just gotten
out of prison didn’t make them fear me any less yet
they could write all sorts of rubbish about me on
social media. She was obviously trying to anger me
and embarrass me right in front of her friends. I
might have felt guilty back then about what I did to
her, but that guilt died a long time ago. I was still the
same old Nombulelo who hated nonsense and
disrespect. She wanted to walk into the yard without
even greeting me and I stopped her by briefly pushing
her outside the gate.
Nairobi: (angrily) “And then? Oh, now that you have

come back you don’t want me to come into YOUR
house?!”
It was my house of course and I was done being

apologetic about it.
Nombulelo: “Yes, it is my house and if you have a

problem with it then you can’t stay here any more.”
She could see I was calm yet she tried by all means to
aggrevate me. It was literally the first day of the New
Year and my very first day out of prison. Why on
Page 1397 of 1871

earth would I have beat someone up on that day?
She wanted to land me back in there, deliberately.
Nairobi: (shouting) “I kept the house together while

you were away! It’s bad enough you took my chance
of being a mother away from me and now you want
to take away the only home that I have?!”
Nombulelo: “Did you hear me say that I want you

gone? You are the only reason for your own demise,
Nairobi. If you come in and speak to me like a proper
human being we won’t have to resort to any form of
violence or aggrevation.”
Nairobi: (angrily) “I can see that you want to be

violent with me – you have always been one! You are
nothing but a gangster and you don’t even belong in
society!”
Of course, those people she was with in that

Quantum probably had their phones on standby just
in case the convict sister wanted to kill the other, but I
refrained from all that. Don’t get me wrong, my
blood was boiling but I maintained my calmness.
Page 1398 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I’m not doing this with you – not today.
If you want to behave like that, you have no place in
my house. Take your clothes and go to a place that
you respect.”
She still had the mind of a miserable teenager. She

had revenge and hatred in her heart for me and I was
not joking. She picked up those two big plastic bags
and nearly toppled over. The driver rushed out of the
car to assist her. He looked about ten years older than
her. She said nothing further to me and got into the
car and they drove off. That was the very first day of
many. I knew that I would have a difficult time back
home, but I had no idea that my own blood would
make things harder for me. I just assumed that
society was going to make my life a bit of a living hell,
but the hell was just starting. I had a rather busy night
because the twins were very uneasy. They missed
Masabatha, and I tried by all means to adjust while
dealing with my own demons. I wasn’t used to the
noise anymore. Prison could be very quiet at night
and forced me to think. I hardly slept anyway and my
sleep pattern was adjusted. I would sleep about 5-6
hours at most every night. I indulged so much in
reading books and that kept me going. I refrained by
Page 1399 of 1871

all means to go on social media because people were
just being people. I was puzzled when I finally got the
twins to sleep around 10pm that night when I
received a call from an unsaved number. Truecaller
recognized the number and claimed it belonged to
someone called “Donnie”. Something told me not to
answer it, but I took the chance and answered.
The person went silent for a while.
I was about to hang up when I heard the voice that I

hadn’t heard in months. The brain stores memories
that can be triggered by one little detail.
Alfred: “Hi, my love.”
I felt a cold chill down my spine when I was revisited

by the very last core memory I had of him trying to
choke me to death. My breathing changed and my
heart beat accelerated. I kept quiet and I was rarely
speechless.
Page 1400 of 1871

Alfred: “How is your first day out of prison?”
Nombulelo: “How do you know that I’m out?”
Alfred: “I know everything. I miss you. Now that

you’re out, we can finally keep in touch again.”
He was insane, just as Priscilla mentioned.
Nombulelo: “We’re not together anymore, Alfred.

The sooner you get that through your head, the
better.”
Alfred: “You are just angry, it happens when you have

spent time in prison. I am serving time for you, don’t
you forget that. You are mine and mine alone. No
one will touch you, not whilst I am still alive. I have all
measures in place for you out there. The house is
ready for you and I have a car available for you to use
at your disposal. You and your siblings will be taken
care of – rest assured.”
He must have been insane if he thought that I still

wanted anything to do with him.
Page 1401 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Alfred, I am not yours any more. I want
nothing to do with you. Leave me alone.”
Alfred: “I love you. We will talk when you are a lot

calmer. Good night.”
I had no idea if he was trying to be funny or instill fear

in me or if he was in plain denial, but he was really
calm. I blocked that number immediately and went
about my evening. I fell asleep right in my mother’s
bedroom and I could feel her presence that night. I
was hoping to dream of her, but she didn’t appear in
my dreams, neither did my grandmother. Slowly but
surely I adjusted to my new routine and lifestyle. By
the end of that week, the twins had slowly gotten
used to seeing me and I had adjusted to their routine.
Two weeks later, Millicent was starting school again
and I was very worried that she would get bullied
because of me, so I suggested that I get in touch with
Beverly to assist her with any counseling she might
have needed. I hadn’t seen Nairobi ever since that
day and I was slowly making a return to social media
though I wasn’t posting anything. She was posting
pictures and videos of herself partying up a storm
Page 1402 of 1871

every single day. If it wasn’t that, she was posting
about her horrible convict sister who had made a
horrendous come back. I had to dig into my savings
and fix the rooms outside. She messed them up quite
a bit and now with me being fresh out of prison, it
was not going to be easy finding tenants to rent out
those rooms. No one wanted to be near such a
person. I had to think of Priscilla’s proposal and get
the ball rolling for our mobile kitchen idea. She came
to my house every day and we started brain storming
ideas and looking for affordable mobile trucks to buy.
A month later, our plan was starting to form when we
finally found the perfect mobile truck. I had the twins
with me everywhere I went and I was not trending
any more. Life was moving on and so were the
people of Wattville. Millicent was adjusting quite well
in her new grade while Nairobi was just adamant on
ruining her life further. We decided to have the
mobile kitchen right outside my house for
convenience as the twins were still a bit young. I
wasn’t very comfortable with them going to pre-
school as yet. While Priscill and I were cleaning the
mobile kitchen with the twins playing just outside,
Nairobi appeared out of nowhere with the very same
plastic bags that I gave her the day I chased her away.
Page 1403 of 1871

She looked five years older, it’s amazing what alcohol
abuse can do to a person.
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Oh, you’re back?”
She humbled herself in such a way that it was so

difficult for me to be convinced.
Nairobi: “Yes. I have had some time to reflect and I

just want to say that I am very sorry for my behaviour.
It was uncalled for.”
Her apology felt so rehearsed. She was probably told

to do it.
Nombulelo: “Oh, I see. Go take a shower and pack

your clothes into your bedroom. We’ll talk once I am
done here.”
Nairobi was about to head back to one of the rooms

outside, but she had no idea that I had already moved
her bed out and the rest of her things back to her
bedroom inside the house.
Page 1404 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Don’t bother going there. I meant take
your things to your bedroom inside the house.”
I could see how she was battling to hide her

annoyance. She gave me a faint smile and nodded. I
continued with my day and by the end of that day,
Priscilla and I were done with our kitchcen. Our
equipment was set and we just had to start
advertising and business day was going to start the
following day. I went into the house and found
Nairobi lying on her bed doing absolutely nothing.
She looked like she was finished eating a big,
wholesome meal and left the plate in her room just
like that. Millicent was doing homework at the time. I
knew that they were not even on speaking terms, so I
had to act like a guardian – not a sister.
Nombulelo: “Nairobi, can you come to the lounge for

a few minutes? I’d like to speak to you guys.”
She stood up and nodded while Millicent was already

in the lounge.
Nombulelo: “Right, now that I am back and

Masabatha is gone, there are a lot of changes that will
Page 1405 of 1871

have to be made here. Millicent goes to school every
day and can’t be doing all the chores around the
house. I have to work to support the four of you, so I
will need some assistance. Are you planning on going
back to school any time soon?”
Nairobi: “I, I don’t know, I mean, school is not really

for me, you know.”
Nombulelo: “Fine. You will have to stay with the twins

while I cook and work outside. It will be your duty to
assist me with the house chores. Millicent won’t cook
every day and on most days you will eat what I cook
for business, so that won’t be a challenge.”
I could see she wanted to start complaining.
Nairobi: “But I can’t possibly babysit all day.”
Nombulelo: “It’s either that or you get a job or go

back to school. You have to do your part in this
house. Choose one.”
I was done apologizing for what I had done to her and

she realized that. It was such a hard pill to swallow for
Page 1406 of 1871

her but honestly, I didn’t give a fuck. She was eating
more than the rest of us. Food is expensive and
nothing is for free. The sooner she realized that, the
better.
Nairobi: “Okay, fine.”
Nombulelo: “Yes, another thing. You won’t ask me to

buy you any cigarettes or alcohol. My money does
not buy any of those things unless you work for it.
Got it?”
Nairobi: “Yes.”
Nombulelo: “Good. You may leave now.”
Millicent was okay with everything. She was really

sweet and helpful and very understanding, that’s
what I appreciated about her. We started the first day
on a rather bumpy note. I got up at 4am while
Nairobi was still sleeping by then. I had to clean the
house since I hated being in a dirty environment. By
6am the twins woke up and needed to be fed, while
Millicent was getting ready for school. I woke Nairobi
up and as much as she disliked that, she had no
Page 1407 of 1871

choice. I made the twins food and handed them over
to her. I handed her a list of duties and the twins’
routine. She was not very happy but life had to
continue. It was a tough first day because throughout
the first half of the day no one came to buy our food,
but after 12pm we had so many customers. Ten
customers that day, it wasn’t quite much but it was a
victory for us. The second day we had 15 and the
numbers grew bit by bit. By the end of two weeks, we
had around 30 customers per day. It felt like such a
slow way to make money but we were not in trouble
any more and that gave us peace of mind. Life was
good and Nairobi seemed to have been adjusting to
everything. It all changed one day when I had to go
do stock taking with Priscilla. It was a Sunday and we
didn’t open on Sundays. I told her where I had to be
and she said she would gladly look after the twins
while Millicent was resting. I had no idea why I didn’t
listen to my hunch that day. I didn’t want to leave, I
was rather hesitant, but I left anyway. Priscilla drove
us to the market and we bought our usual
ingredients. We took roughly 2 hours long. I recall
coming back to the house and finding Nairobi out.
Millicent was asleep.
Page 1408 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Nairobi! I am home.”
I must have called her name about five times. When I

got into the twins’ room, Isaiah was awake but
Hannah was asleep facing down. I took Isaiah out of
the room and assumed that Hannah was just
sleeping. I sat in the house and spoke to Priscilla for a
while. Out of nowhere, Isaiah started crying. The
more I tried to calm him down, the louder he cried.
Priscilla: “Is he okay? Maybe he ate something that is

upsetting his stomach.”
Nombulelo: “He is fine and doesn’t seem to have a

fever. Let me go and check on Hannah.”
I stood up and went to the bedroom, only to find

Hannah’s face had turned blue-ish. I panicked so
much when I felt her pulse was faint and she was
hardly breathing.
Nombulelo: (screaming) “Priscilla! Priscilla, come

here!”
Page 1409 of 1871

She rushed to the bedroom with the restless Isaiah on
her hip. The moment she saw Hannah’s face, she
reacted instantly.
Priscilla: “I’ll grab my keys, let’s go to the hospital

now.”
It felt like with every minute, her life was slipping

away. She wasn’t reacting to anything I was saying or
doing to her while Isaiah was screaming right next to
me. He must have felt that his sister was not okay. I
felt so guilty and just wanted to die right there and
then. With things looking up so much for me, it felt
like I just had two steps dragging me back to the life I
didn’t want to live. My entire life changed that day
and I was not even prepared for the new challenge I
was hit with.

Chapter 64
Psalm 52:2 – “Your tongue plots destruction, like a
sharp razor, you worker of deceit.”
Page 1410 of 1871

I had been trying so much to be a good person, I
stayed away from bad people who did bad things and
I was trying to turn my life around. I sacrificed my
happiness and future for my siblings. I didn’t even try
to go back to school just so that I could ensure they
had a good life ahead of them and that they would
not sleep on an empty stomach. I had turned into
Mother Mary, you know. I still wasn’t praying though
because I still didn’t believe that God had my back. I
just couldn’t understand that after all that hard work
and effort I put in, starting my own little business and
using my savings to get it off the ground then that
happened to Hannah. She was only 14 months old.
The moment Priscilla parked her car, I temporarily
forgot about everyone else around me including
Isaiah. I rushed out and started screaming frantically
just outside the emergency room.
Nombulelo: (screaming) “Someone please help!”
Hannah’s arms were dangling like that of a mere doll,

she seemed so lifeless. The security guard could see
just how frantic I was with good reason and called out
for help.
Page 1411 of 1871

Security guard: “Someone assist this girl, please!”
One of the nurses took Hannah away from me.
Nombulelo: “She’s 14 months old! Please help her!”
One of the other nurses came to ask me questions

most probably for her file.
Nurse: “Please come this way so I can assist you.

What happened?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know. I left them with my sister

to go and do stock taking and when I came back, she
was lying face down. I found her sleeping until I went
back to check on her and that’s when I saw her face
had turned blue.”
I was in tears, which rarely happened. She asked me

to remain calm and fill in the details to open a file for
her. I hated the fact that I had to fill in the details for
payment purposes. When it came to medical aid
details, I told her I had none.
Page 1412 of 1871

Nurse: “Okay, then you will have to pay cash, my
dear.”
I paid R5000 on the dot and waited in the waiting

area. Isaiah was still crying but Priscilla just knew how
to calm a restless baby down. Millicent called me and
only then did I realize that I didn’t tell her anything
when I left.
Nombulelo: “Millicent.”
Millicent: “Where are you guys? The kids are not in

their room.”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I’m at the hospital. I will explain

later. Where’s Nairobi?”
Millicent: “I don’t know, I will check on her outside.”
Nombulelo: “Make sure she calls me when you see

her and tell her to come straight to the hospital.”
Millicent: “Okay.”
Page 1413 of 1871

She hung up and with each minute that went by, I
started getting fueled with rage, rage I managed to
surpress for months. She just couldn’t do one thing,
just one thing. When the doctor came, the bad news
had gotten worse.
Doctor: “Hi, are you the family members?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I am her sister.”
Doctor: “Where’s the mother?”
Nombulelo: “Dead, I am the guardian. Is she okay?”
Doctor: (sigh) “I’m afraid it doesn’t look good. Do you

mind me asking what happened?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know, my sister was left to look

after them. She’s a twin. When I came back I thought
she was sleeping and then her face was blue. Is she
going to be okay?!”
I felt so frustrated with her meaningless questions

though she was just doing her job.
Page 1414 of 1871

Doctor: “There is some swelling on the brain that
shows she had quite a bad fall. I would assume she
fell from the bed, but with the damage she sustained,
it seems far more than that.”
Doctor: “It could be that she was dropped quite hard

on a very hard object.”
Nombulelo: “So what’s the next step?”
Doctor: “The next step would be to monitor the

swelling. We can’t do anything while the brain is so
swollen. She should have been brought in a lot
sooner and maybe then we would have been able to
ascertain how far the damage was caused but with
the way it looks now, it’s a waiting game.”
Nombulelo: “What happens if the swelling does not

go down?”
Doctor: “Well, she could go blind and most likely

never retain her vision again. We will monitor her for
now, let us just wait and see.”
Page 1415 of 1871

I felt as if my entire world was crashing down. A baby
who was born healthily might not be able to see ever
again all due to Nairobi’s negligence. I should have
listened to my gut that morning. To think just how
hard my mother fought to ensure that those children
were born despite her condition then. It tore me
apart so much that it felt so difficult to breathe. I was
tapping my foot involuntarily with all the anxiety and
stress that was slowly taking over me combined with
the hot flushes. My hands were just itching to get
Nairobi’s face in them. She pitched up after an hour, a
whole hour. When Priscilla managed to get Isaiah to
sleep, we were just sitting there in silence when I
heard her voice as she tapped me on my shoulder. It
wasn’t hard to note her presence as I could always
smell her from a mile away. She smelled of hard
booze at that time of the morning. I stood up and
looked at her carefully before speaking to her.
Nairobi: (frowning) “What is it?”
Nombulelo: “Let’s talk outside.”
Page 1416 of 1871

I grabbed her forcibly by the arm without warning
because I knew what I wanted to do to her. Priscilla
was not able to follow me because it took so long to
finally get Isaiah to sleep. The moment I got outside,
she jerked herself out of my grip.
Nombulelo: (firmly) “Where were you today while the

babies were home alone?”
Nairobi: “I quickly went to see my friends.”
Nombulelo: “Hmm, what happened to Hannah?”
She startled a bit before answering.
Nairobi: “What do you mean? She was fine when I

left.”
I looked at her carefully once again without a word

further. She was bullshitting me and she knew it.
Without warning, I punched her so hard on the face
that she bled instantly. She managed to stop herself
from falling back. The security guard wanted to
interfere but I was so angry that I warned him to stay
out of it.
Page 1417 of 1871

Security guard: “Aowa sesi (no, sister), you can’t fight
here! This is a hospital.”
Nombulelo: “You’d better stay out of it if you don’t

want to fall victim as well, malome (uncle).”
Nairobi: (crying) “Ouch! Why the fuck would you do

that to me?!”
Nombulelo: “I am asking you once more. What

happened to Hannah?”
Nairobi: (nervously) “I… I already told you, she was

fine when I left.”
I looked at her yet again. When I nearly charged at

her, she started confessing.
Nairobi: “She might have fell but it wasn’t that bad!”
Nombulelo: “Carry on. Tell me every single detail that

happened.”
Page 1418 of 1871

She insisted that after she gave them a bath, she
placed them on the bed and somehow, Hannah rolled
off the bed and fell to the ground. That wasn’t
enough for me. I could feel myself shaking with
anger. I punched her three more times or was it four,
I couldn’t remember, before I grabbed her by the
throat and attempted to choke the life out of her. I
didn’t hear all the commotion behind me, they were
all so faint and echoed. I felt all the blood rush up to
my brain. She struggled although she tried to get me
off her. I felt quite a few hands attempting to grab me
away from her. It must have taken them about 3 to 5
minutes to get me off her. She struggled to gasp for
air straight after I was done with her. It was only the
beginning. I loathed her so much, I just couldn’t hide
it any more. I felt she took advantage of my kindness
and now an innocent child had to suffer the
consequences. I wasn’t thinking of bringing any
drama into the house any more but there’s never a
moment without it with Nairobi present. She was
taken away and the security guard tried to order me
to go away, but it wasn’t his hospital so I was going
nowhere. I went back in with my aching knuckles and
irregular beating heart. I sat right across Priscilla who
stared at me with shock.
Page 1419 of 1871

Priscilla: (shocked) “What did you do?”
Nombulelo: (angrily) “She tried to mess with me, can

you fucking believe that?!”
Priscilla: “What did she say?”
Nombulelo: “She said maybe Hannah fell – maybe!

What the fuck do you call that?!”
I must have been making a scene because one of the

nurses came to us.
Nurse: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I am afraid you will need

to tone it down or else we will ask you to leave.”
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Would you tone it the fuck

down with your baby sister fighting for her life in
there?! Yoh! Why does this country never allow
anyone to express themselves freely?! My
Goodness!”
Priscilla could probably see how emotional I was and

tried to calm me down herself.
Page 1420 of 1871

Priscilla: “Forgive her, we will go outside. Come,
Nombulelo.”
Nombulelo: “I’m not going anywhere. I want to hear

of any updates.”
Priscilla: “They have your number. Come, let’s go take

a breather.”
I was so hesitant but she was such a darling no matter

the circumstance so I walked out along with her. I
heard just how the security guard was speaking of me
and relaying the story of how I nearly killed my sister.
It didn’t take too long for him to hear that I was the
teenage gangster who was recently released from
prison. It only takes a few seconds for someone to
look at you differently after what they hear about
you. I stood right outside the car and stared at them.
When they noticed me looking at them, they spoke a
lot softer.
Priscilla: “Get in the car.”
Nombulelo: “I will in a moment.”
Page 1421 of 1871

Priscilla: “Please get in the car.”
I got into the passanger seat and stared at her.
Priscilla: “Let’s take a drive, we’ll be right back.”
She was clearly taking no for an answer so I let her

be. We drove not too far from the hospital and
reached a nearby park. She parked the car right
underneath one of the trees and got out. I also did
the same while Isaiah was sleeping in the back seat.
She took out some weed from her pocket and started
rolling in silence. She lit the first joint and smoked,
afterwards she handed me some to smoke as well.
Nombulelo: “You know I don’t smoke.”
Priscilla: “This is grass, healing grass – not cigarettes.

Besides, you didn’t complain the last time we did this
together.”
The last time we did that was when we were at

Alfred’s house venting over life in general. I didn’t
mind it then, and I most certainly could use a calming
Page 1422 of 1871

method at that present time. I took the weed from
her and smoked along with her. After a while, I felt a
lot more at ease. It wasn’t something I would have
wanted to make a habit, but it most certainly helped
at that time. Priscilla being there for me was just
godsent.
Priscilla: “Listen, you are going through a tough time

and I think it’s high time we prepare ourselves for the
worst scenario possible.”
Nombulelo: “What do you mean? Are you saying you

don’t think she is going to survive?”
Priscilla: “No, that’s not what I mean. I mean, we

need to prepare ourselves for the financial
implications that might occur. It seems like she will be
staying in the hospital for quite some time. The
damage done to her is quite a lot, I’ve seen it before.”
Priscilla: “My mom had a child a few years ago and

the teacher at her crèche dropped her on her head.
She was just 8 months old. The child didn’t die
Page 1423 of 1871

immediately, but she had a lengthly hospital stay until
she was declared brain damaged. We buried her 6
months after she was first admitted.”
What she told me was quite a lot to take in.
Nombulelo: “I can’t afford to keep her at that hospital

for so long. I can’t afford it.”
Priscilla: “You can’t do it alone, but together we can.”
I looked at her trying to comprehend what she was

actually thinking.
Priscilla: “My savings together with yours can assist

her. We can give her a fighting chance.”
Nombulelo: “No, P. I can’t expect you to do that. It’s

not fair. How will we even survive? What if she dies
anyway?”
Priscilla: “Then she dies in a dignified manner

knowing that her sister gave her a fighting chance.
You and I are hustlers. We can survive. I know we
can.”
Page 1424 of 1871

She brought me to tears. She knew very well I hated
crying in front of people but I couldn’t help it at that
point.
Nombulelo: “What would I honestly do without you,

Priscilla? You are just amazing.”
Priscilla: “That’s what friends are for. Now come, let’s

head back to the hospital so we can know what the
way forward is.”
I agreed. We got into the car and she drove us

straight back to the hospital. The security guard was
probably contemplating giving me a warning or
something, but once he noticed the look I gave him,
he stepped back and chose to mind his own business.
Thankfully when we went back to the waiting area,
we found the doctor who was speaking to me earlier
on that day.
Doctor: “Oh, you are here. I was just about to ask the
nurses to call you.”
Nombulelo: “How is she, doctor? What’s her status?”
Page 1425 of 1871

Doctor: “Well, I am afraid there were some new
developments. Some internal bleeding occurred on
her brain and she suffered a brain heamorrhage,
which is basically a stroke. It would have been better
had she not had such a bad fall, but in her case there
are some long term complications that come with it.”
Nombulelo: “What kind of long-term complications?”
Doctor: “We’ve put her in a medically induced coma

so that her brain can be given a chance to recover on
its own, but it doesn’t look too good. At this stage
based on the tests we’ve run before and after surgery,
she will lose her vision amongst some form of
mobility. There’s physiotherapy to assist her to learn
how to do the basics such as walking and talking and
all that.”
I felt like my entire world was collapsing yet again.
Nombulelo: “Are you positive that she will wake up

from the coma?”
Page 1426 of 1871

Doctor: “Yes, there’s no reason for her to not wake up
from it unless her brain reacts otherwise.”
I couldn’t phathom looking after all my siblings with a

disabled child around at that. I nearly fainted so I
opted to sit on the couch for a while. Priscilla
continued talking to the doctor while sorting out the
logistics of the hospital bill while holding Isaiah. I was
a mess. I could keep everything together, but I was a
real mess at that point. It truly felt like the world was
against me; the God that people would speak of was
clearly not on my side. Her conversation with the
doctor felt like it was just being echoed, I couldn’t
hear anything further. It wasn’t too long when I heard
a familiar voice near me.
Nkuna: “Nombulelo Makeba. What brings you here?”
I looked up and indeed it was Nkuna.
Nombulelo: “Sargeant Nkuna. What a surprise. I

came here because my sister has been admitted.”
His arua was just calming.
Page 1427 of 1871

Nkuna: “Do you mind if I sit here for a minute?”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “No, of course not.”
Nkuna: “What’s wrong with your sister if I may ask?”
Nombulelo: “She was dropped on her head and as a

result, she might go blind. Life can be so unfair, you
know.”
Nkuna: (nodding) “You know, life is what you make of

it. There’s surely a big reason why this is happening to
you. I k now you don’t believe me, but God has really
big plans in store for you. You might not see it now
but when the day comes, you will have no choice but
to meet Him and speak to Him face to face. You
know, when Jerry started investigating you, I just knew
he was up to no good. I knew all he was up to but no
one would believe me because of all his tricks. I knew
what he was up to with Matshidiso, I knew all about
the bugs he planted in Zoro’s house. I just waited for
the trial and until I had gathered enough evidence to
show that you are not a danger to society. I
convinced the prosecutor and judge to let you go out
on parole early. It wasn’t easy, but God made me do
Page 1428 of 1871

it. Remember my words when I say, luck eventually
runs out. It won’t be nice when you will be forced to
meet God but it will be life changing and most
certainly worth it. I hope your sister heals and makes
it out of here. Keep well, Nombulelo. I do hope the
next time I see you it won’t be under such
circumstances.”
With that said, he gently patted my shoulder and left.

He had such a calming spirit. Not once did I feel the
need to interrupt him while he was speaking. I didn’t
even get a chance to ask him why he was at the
hospital to begin with. All I know is somehow he
knew I needed that little pep talk and it helped me a
little bit. Right after he left I had a moment of
reflection and I was hit instantly by Mam’Rachel’s
words, “You’ll meet the man who got you out of here
really soon”. Nkuna made that all possible. I asked
myself why he did what he did because I wasn’t
related to him. He must have had a really good heart
but knowing the sort of person I was back then, I felt
that nothing came for free. By the time I was done
thinking and reflecting, Priscilla came back to me.
Priscilla: “Hey, are you okay?”
Page 1429 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Yes, where did you disappear off ot?”
Priscilla: “I went to pay the hospital bill. The surgery

cost quite a bit and I paid for the next few days’ stay
for her.”
I had no idea how to even thank her for being such a

good friend to me.
Nombulelo: “I honestly don’t know how to thank you,

P.”
Priscilla: “Thank me by being the strong and

courageous person you have always been. Come,
let’s go and see her before we leave. It’s not visiting
hours but I begged the doctor for a few minutes with
her.”
She and I along with Isaiah went to Hannah’s ward to

see her. Seeing a small child enwrapped in so many
cords and so many beeping machines around her
brought me to tears. It brought back all those
horrible memories of my own mother during her
Page 1430 of 1871

ailing moments. She looked so helpless, I was afraid
to even touch her.
Priscilla: “She will be okay, my friend. Believe me, she

will be okay. You need to have faith.”
I nodded in agreement and at the time, I didn’t see

any way forward. I felt that death would be rather
healing for her. After staring at her for a few minutes,
we had to leave. Once we got into the car, Priscilla
came up with a proposal.
Priscilla: “Hey, you have so much going on right now

and you are going to need all the help you can get. I
have already asked my mother to look after Isaiah for
a while.”
Nombulelo: “No, P. I can’t expect that of you. You

already have done so much for me.”
Priscilla: “I told you, that’s what friends are for. You

just need some time to yourself and with the
business, you will have your hands full. Don’t you
worry about a thing. Besides, Refilwe needs a sibling
anyway so Isaiah will keep her busy for a while. You
Page 1431 of 1871

and I can focus on the business. I can sleep over at
your house sometimes and keep it running while you
go visit Hannah at the hospital.”
She made life seem so simple and easy. She made

everything so much better for me and I loved her for
it. She took me home and gathered everything she
would need for Isaiah and went back to her house.
Priscilla: “I will call you later, okay?”
She gave me a tight hug and left. Millicent was so

worried when I got home and I could tell that she
hardly had any rest since we were gone.
Millicent: (worried) “How is she? Is she going to be

okay?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, well, I think so.”
I explained everything the doctor told me and she

broke down.
Page 1432 of 1871

Millicent: (crying) “I should have remained with
them. Perhaps nothing of this sort would have
happened.”
Nombulelo: “This is not your fault, Millicent. Anything

could have happened. Besides, if it was supposed to
happen it would have happened anyway, whether it
was you or Nairobi babysitting. Don’t let this interrupt
your studies, please. I am begging you.”
Millicent: “But how will I concentrate knowing you

have this kind of burden?”
Nombulelo: “You let me carry the burden while you

focus on your school work. You cannot end up like
me, I refuse.”
She knew I didn’t play when it came to her school

work so she let me be and went back to her
bedroom. Nairobi was nowhere to be seen and I bet
she would have waited for me to go back to sleep
before coming back home. She most probably
wanted to sneak back in the middle of the night and I
just couldn’t have that. So, like the crazy person I was
back then, I headed out and got new locks and keys
Page 1433 of 1871

for the entire house, including the outside rooms. I
changed them myself and it took about an hour. I
didn’t feel like cooking, nor did I have an appetite as
such, so I bought some chips and bread for Millicent
and myself. While sitting in my bedroom, I
contemplated a lot of things. The old me was
wrestling with the new me. I wanted to get rid of
Nairobi so badly because she was truly a waste of
space for me. She was not a good asset to my life at
all, she just remained a liability. I never got the
chance to confront her about testifying against me
and I still had a hunch that she was busy with Biggie
or something. Why else would she have been so keen
on rebelling against me if she had no one to back her
up? It just didn’t sit very well with me. I just needed
something solid to hold against her and force her to
either leave us in peace or change. It was surely not
going to be easy.
I received yet another call from a strange number and

I didn’t bother to answer it. After a few rings I
thought the person gave up but I received a message
from the very same number. “You can ignore me all
you want, but I love you. I can make all your problems
go away. I stashed some money away for you in my
Page 1434 of 1871

house. I know you need it now more than ever, more
especially after your one sister tried to kill the other.”
I won’t lie, I felt a bit fearful right there and then. I
looked around in my room and checked every
window in the house. It felt like Alfred really had me
being watched daily. How on earth did he have all
that information? I have had to look over my
shoulder from that day onwards. The following day,
Priscilla and I got straight to work. I got up at 4am and
prepared the food as we had morning customers as
well. Millilcent was stressless, despite me making her
lunch every morning. Nairobi hadn’t come home nor
attempted to that evening which was honestly a huge
bonus for me. By 7am, I had served quite a few
customers and it was really busy. Millicent had
already gone to school and Priscilla had come to assist
me. Isaiah was not with her, he was with her mother
which gave me plenty of time to regroup myself. She
arrived looking like her normal self.
Priscilla: (smiling) “Hey, babe. How are you feeling

today?”
Nombulelo: “I’m okay, thanks. I slept well apart from

the weird text I received.”
Page 1435 of 1871

Priscilla: (frowning) “What are you talking about?
What text?”
Nombulelo: “Alfred texted me from yet another

number he is using from prison. It’s honestly making
me quite uncomfortable.”
Priscilla: “Let me see.”
I showed her the text and she became alarmed

immediately.
Priscilla: “Why are you only telling me about these

weird phone calls and texts now?”
Nombulelo: “I didn’t think it would get this creepy, I

mean I honestly thought he would give up.”
Priscilla: (shaking head) “We’ll do something about it

later. For now, you need to take my car when you go
to the hospital. I will run the show here while you are
gone.”
Page 1436 of 1871

Nombulelo: “P, come on. I haven’t driven a car in
months.”
Priscilla: “You’re not a bad driver, you’ll be fine.

Besides, you have a license and it will save you the
time and energy you would have spent worrying
about some fucker following you. Now, go.”
I truly appreciated her. I took the car keys and drove

to the hospital. To my surprise, I thought it would
have been really hard for me to get the hang of
driving again, but it wasn’t. I managed to get the
hang of it really quickly or perhaps it was the anxiety
of knowing someing was most definitely following
me. The entire time I kept looking through the
rearview mirror. With each car that took the same
turn I took, I became extremely alert until they went a
different route. I arrived at the hospital around 7:30
and I had to wait for visiting hours which started at
8am. I stood right outside in the parking lot and just
browsed my phone to avoid being bored. I was most
probably paranoid but I saw a strange looking guy
staring at me. I could feel his eyes all over me.
Whenever I looked toward his direction, he quickly
looked away and pretended to be reading a
Page 1437 of 1871

newspaper. To me, that was the oldest movie trick in
the book. I chose to move away and get closer to the
hospital reception area just to confirm my suspicions.
Ten minutes later, I looked around and I didn’t see
him. I felt a little relieved by the time I was heading
towards Hannah’s hospital room. That poor child was
still hooked on machines. I could barely see her face
properly. My heart was aching throughout the entire
visiting hour. I had brought a children’s book with me
just to read to her. I read up on it and that it helps a
lot with comatose patients. She was not responding
but it brought me some form of peace seeing her.
After the hour, I left and went to get something to
eat. I wanted to go back to my house to assist Priscilla
with the food, but she told me to stay and wait for the
next visiting hour, which was at 12pm. I went back for
the next visiting hour and to my surprise, I saw the
very same man who was staring at me earlier on that
day. He was walking out of the very same room that
Hannah was in. He was dressed in all black, with dark
sunglasses on. I mean, if that doesn’t look creepy
then I don’t know what is. When I took a closer look
at him I could see he was avoiding looking at me at all
cost. It felt to me that I had seen him before. He
walked out of that hospital so fast that I could not
Page 1438 of 1871

even greet him. When I asked the nurses in Hannah’s
room, they said that the man I saw came to see her
often and barely said a word. He would just stare at
her and hold her hand. It felt really creepy to me and
I immediately told them to approve family only.
Apparently he told them that he was a family
member – her father actually.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Excuse me?! Hannah doesn’t

have a father! I am the one who brought her into this
hospital! I am the one paying for the hospital bill, so
how dare you tell me that you allowed him in here
because he said he was her father?!”
Nurse: “I apologize, ma’am. It was an honest

mistake.”
Nombulelo: “If you can’t do your job I can take her to

another hospital! You people are negligent!”
I was fuming and my anxiety about the unknown man

was just adding fuel to the fire. My mind was so
overworked that I couldn’t remember where I saw
him before that day or if I even saw him before then.
They realized how upset I was and security promised
Page 1439 of 1871

to attend to the issue. I couldn’t understand how a
private hospital could allow someone who wasn’t
even family nor registered on Hannah’s visitor’s list to
just walk into her ward and visit her. It didn’t make
sense to me. I might have been young, but it most
definitely felt like something was up. I ended up
staying there all day and waited for the next visiting
hour which was at 6pm. I hadn’t even eaten anything
since the morning. Food was the last thing on my
mind. I had the image of that man in my mind
throughout the day and I tried to recollect where I
had seen him. Just before 6pm, at exactly 5:55pm, a
man dressed in all black walked right towards the
hospital entrance. He was dressed differently, but still
had a hat on with very dark sunglasses. That time I
got to see glimpse of his facial structure. I think he
had a lot on his mind because he didn’t notice me
sitting right outside the entrance at first. When I
noticed the huge scar on his face, I immediately
recognized him. He was one of the three mysterious
men who attended my mother’s funeral. They even
sat in the marquee the entire day during the after
tears. He just looked so dodgy. I asked myself why on
earth he was there in the first place. I mean he did
come to see Hannah, there was no doubt about that.
Page 1440 of 1871

I ensured that he didn’t see me just so that I could see
where exactly he was headed. To my surprise, he
walked straight to the children’s ICU ward. When I
entered, I saw him head straight to Hannah’s bed and
I saw him holding her hand. I got chills down my
spine. My mother died without a present boyfriend
that we knew of in her life. I just had an outburst to
one of the nurses who was still on duty in the ward
that time. To my surprise, I saw her walking up to him
and greet him. She said something to him and they
both nodded. So, she acted like she was remorseful
about having a stranger visit my baby sister yet she
was in on whatever they oth had planned. Knowing
the person I was, I couldn’t stand there and watch
everything unfold. I became angered very quickly and
the rage built up instantly. I walked straight towards
them and the moment the nurse noticed me her
entire face changed and froze.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Oh? So I am an idiot, neh

(huh)?! Aren’t you the one who apologized to me
earlier on today about this?! Who is this guy even?!”
The nurse instantly tried to calm me down and ensure

that I do not cause a scene meanwhile it looked like
Page 1441 of 1871

the guy did not want me to see his face at all. He
turned his face away from me immediately and
walked out.
Nurse: (nervously) “No, it’s not like that.”
I didn’t even give her a chance to finish her sentence.

I hurried straight after that man and he must have
sensed that I was following him because he kept
looking back. The faster he walked, so did I. I
matched his energy all the way to the parking lot.
Somehow, he ran towards his car and got in way
before I could catch up to him. By the time I was
banging on his window, he had started his ignition.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Who are you and what do you

want with my sister?!”
He drove off in his shady green VW Polo but I

managed to take a good look at his license plate. I
was still angry and had a score to settle with the
nurse. Oddly, she had followed me outside as well. I
turned around and there she was, looking so nervous
like a cat that had nearly drowned.
Page 1442 of 1871

Nombulelo: (angrily) “Who the fuck is he?! And why
do you keep allowing him to visit my sister?”
Nurse: (panicking) “It’s honestly not that simple.

Please, just let me explain myself.”
Nombulelo: “You have five minutes.”
Nurse: (nervously) “Not here, please. I don’t want to

lose my job.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, but you’d rather let my sister lose

her life?!”
Nurse: “It’s not like that. He would never let anything

happen to her.”
Nombulelo: “How do you know that?!”
Nurse: (pleading) “Please, you’re causing a scene.”
Nombulelo: “I can get you fired, you know that?”
Nurse: “He won’t let anything happen to her. He only

just came to check up on her.”
Page 1443 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Why?!”
I had her backed up in a corner and she had no choice

but to spill the startling truth.
Nurse: “He’s her father.”
I would have most probably collapsed right there on

that ground. I stared at her for a good minute as my
body was paralyzed with shock. That rapist had the
nerve to go and visit my sister in hospital. It all made
sense now; how he was looking really sad at the
funeral while his other two friends were having the
time of their lives. What I couldn’t understand was
why he was even at the funeral to begin with. My
mother was gang raped when she fell pregnant with
those triplets. I recalled correctly that it was said she
was raped by three men. They were three when they
came to her funeral. I was hurt to the core realizing
that it could have been her three rapists coming to
bury their victim. What I didn’t understand was why
that nurse was doing him a favour like that? I didn’t
want her to get scared, because I wanted to catch him
in the act had he tried to visit Hannah again, so I just
Page 1444 of 1871

walked away from that nurse. I got into Priscilla’s car
and drove off. I was unsettled, I had hot flushes all the
way home trying to deal with all the anger I had. That
man was the reason my life was such hell. When I got
home, my entire mood was in shambles. All I wanted
to do was vent to my best friend, but Millicent told
me that Priscilla had left a note stating that she had to
leave earlier to help her mom with Isaiah. “Had to
leave a little earlier, babe. Mom is going to church so I
will be staying with Refilwe and Isaiah. Keep the car, I
will see you tomorrow morning. Xoxo P.” I had no
appetite whatsoever and Millicent was getting ready
to study. We just had small talk about our day and
then we each went our separate ways. I took a bath
and just when I was about to call Priscilla and update
her about what had happened that day, a call came
through from the very same number that Alfred was
texting me from the previous day. I was hesitant to
answer it, that would have given him the wrong idea.
He texted me when he noticed his call was being
unreturned. “Answer my call, I have important
information that can be useful to you.” I hesitated
again but answered the second time.
Page 1445 of 1871

Alfred: “Oh, finally you answered. How are you, my
love? It’s been so long since I have heard your voice.”
He didn’t even give me the chance to say hello.
Nombulelo: “What do you want, Alfred?”
Alfred: “Hmm, I see the outside is treating you very

well, you don’t even greet me properly anymore, but
it’s okay. I understand. You are stressed. How is
Hannah? Is she recovering?”
Nombulelo: “How do you know all this, Alfred? Are

you spying on me?”
Alfred: “I told you, Lelo, I have eyes and ears

everywhere. I know you haven’t even gone to my
house since I told you to go. You are busy living like a
pauper making food just outsie your house when you
can have a good life. I saved you money. Bongani has
all you need. You just need to contact him.”
I was not even about to go there after what Bongani

had done to me.
Page 1446 of 1871

Nombulelo: “When will you get it through your head
that I am not interested, Alfred? You and I are done.
We’ve been done. Why can’t you just leave me
alone?”
Alfred realized that I didn’t love him anymore and that

I was not just saying it, so he chose to release his
bargaining chip.
Alfred: “I see. I see you have met your mother’s

rapist.”
Nombulelo: (nervously) “How… how do you know

that?”
Alfred: “That’s not the point. I can get rid of him for
you, better yet I can bring him over to you – on a
silver platter.”
His offer seemed tempting but I knew that had I

accepted it then I would have owed him most
probably my entire life. I needed to find a way to keep
my distance from him so that by the time he had
come out of prison he would not be a problem to me.
Page 1447 of 1871

Alfred: “Are you llistening to me?”
Nombulelo: “Stay away from me, Alfred. Or else I will

report you.”
I hung up and blocked his number. I had to. He was

most definitely in cahoots with someone who was
following me and I needed some form of security.
Alfred was no longer on my side, I was no longer the
powerful gangster girlfriend I was when I was with
him. I didn’t have the resources I was used to and
that was starting to scare me. I had to find a way to
get out of that mess. The following day I went to visit
Hannah, only to find that the man had not come to
visit at all. To make matters worse, the nurse had
resigned with immediate effect that very evening I
confronted her. Something was not right, but I had a
feeling that I would meet the two of them again later
in life. Wattville is small and it wasn’t like they had
gone far somewhere in America. A few weeks later,
Hannah had woken up from her coma and then the
problems started. The hospital bills kept piling up and
Priscilla and I had to use nearly our entire savings to
assist Hannah with her condition. Her weekly physio
cost an arm and a leg, not to mention her daily care.
Page 1448 of 1871

She was back to being a jolly toddler again, but she
needed to relearn everything. She was officially blind
which was the biggest part that just broke me. Yes,
we were making money with the cooking business,
but it just felt like it wasn’t enough. With all the bills
we had and the people we had to feed, I was starting
to burn out. Priscilla’s mom was honestly a Godsent.
She offered to look after both children during the
weekend, giving Priscilla and I a chance to go back to
the drawing board. We were exhausted and sitting
right outside in the garden. I hadn’t seen Nairobi for
about two weeks since the entire incident, but I was
not bothered. Priscilla was smoking some weed while
I just sat and stared outside the gate.
Priscilla: “You know, we need to go out and live a

little.”
Nombulelo: “I am not in the mood, P. Besides, we

don’t even have money to live a little.”
Priscilla: “We literally have about R10 000 left from all
our money. We could go out and spend it all today
and regret it all tomorrow.”
Page 1449 of 1871

Nombulelo: (laughing) “Don’t be insane. We can do
something with that money.”
Priscilla: (sigh) “I am trying so much to Zen and you

are just raining on my parade.”
Nombulelo: “I’m sorry. I just feel like we are working

backwards. Nothing is coming right at all.”
Priscilla: “Okay, tell you what. Let’s go to a party

tonight.”
Nombulelo: “I just told you we don’t have any money

to play around with.”
Priscilla: “We won’t have to spend our own money,

sweety. I have been invited by one of my friends on
Varsity campus. They are having a freshman party to
welcome all the first years.”
Nombulelo: “Great. A party at an environment that

will remind you and I why we don’t have a future.”
Page 1450 of 1871

Priscilla: “Don’t think about all that. This is why I drink
and smoke weed. You are always sober so you are
bound to always think of problems.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know.”
Priscilla: “I know a lot of good looking guys and girls.

You can get someone to entertain you and you know,
maybe get laid. It’s been a minute for you.”
Nombulelo: “Don’t be personal now.”
Priscilla: (laughing) “Let’s go take a shower and get

changed. We are going – end of story.”
She was literarlly not taking no for an answer. I hadn’t

been to a party ever since the night I got arrested. I
still had lovely designer clothing that I hadn’t worn in
a long while. They must have probably been out of
date – I don’t know but looking good for a change
made me feel amazing. I got into a Versace dress that
Alfred bought me months before the casino event. It
was the very first time I wore the dress that evening
and I felt amazing. Priscilla did my make up while I
just combed my afro and put a head band around it. I
Page 1451 of 1871

looked really nice to say the least, while Priscilla wore
a Prada dress with red bottom heels. I had no idea
how we were even going to go to the party with our
criminal history. We looked like a million dollars to be
honest, but there might have been a chance that I
was going to be recognized by some people.
Nombulelo: “Hey, P. One question, though. How are

we even going to get into the campus? You forget I
have a criminal record.”
Priscilla: “That’s what fake ID’s and connections are

for, honey.”
She pulled out two ID’s of fake names but the pictures
were that of us.
Nombulelo: “Sarah Ngobeni? Really P?”
Priscilla: “It’s a lot better than Nombulelo Makeba,

fresh out of parole. It’s all about having fun. Just roll
with it. Let’s go. We’re going to be late.”
I checked in on Millicent and she was busy with her

live YouTube video. She had grown quite a lot since
Page 1452 of 1871

her very first make up tutorial video. Oddly, she
hardly wore any make up outside the house.
Nombulelo: “Hey, I’m going out. Are you going to be

okay?”
Millicent: “Sure, I’m busy with my live video, sis. My

viewers can see you.”
Nombulelo: “Sorry, bye.”
Millicent: “Bye.”
She was never worried about being seen around with

me but I avoided being seen on her social media at all
cost to avoid her getting bullied. We got into Priscilla’s
car and off we went. I was a bit nervous. It was my
very first night out since I had come out of prison. I
was not even sure how I would feel being around a
crowded place but I had Priscilla with me and she
always ensured that my feelings were validaded.
When we arrived at the Campus, the security guards
asked for our IDs. I could feel my heart pounding but I
wasn’t even doing anything illegal. It was quite funny
Page 1453 of 1871

how we always did some sort of crime, but we were
never nervous about it before.
Security guard: “Hmm, le botsana man (you girls are

pretty). Le ya partying le lona (you’re also going to the
party)?”
Priscilla: “Yes, sir.”
Security guard: “Oh, okay. Le beng (be) safe. You

know how teenagers can get during such events.”
Priscilla: “We’ll do just that, Malome (uncle). Bye for

now.”
He was most probably charmed by Priscilla hence he

hardly even looked at our IDs. She drove in with a
smile.
Priscilla: “See? I told you everything would be fine.”
She parked the car and I got out and walked alongside
her. I was quite nervous, even I didn’t know why.
Nombulelo: “Shit, I feel so nervous.”
Page 1454 of 1871

Priscilla: “You have nothing to be nervous about. If
you feel funny or like you are in danger or anything,
just let me know and we’ll get out of here. Okay?”
I agreed and I wanted to do everything and anything

in my power to enjoy myself that night. I mean, she
had gone out of her way to assist me in every way, so
the least I could do was enjoy myself with her. We
met a few guys I had never met before, but she
seemed rather well acquainted with them. She
greeted the first guy, quite a tall guy who seemed a
little older than us, probably two years older if not
three.
Priscilla: (excitedly) “Tman!”
He had really long dreadlocks and was quite tall, taller

than me actually. He smelled of weed so I knew then
were she got her supply from.
Tman: “Hey, P! You actually made it. I didn’t think

you’d come and o tlile le stoko (you brought stock
with you).”
Page 1455 of 1871

Priscilla: “Voetsek (piss off), she’s my friend. Don’t
mess with her. Ga a tlela wena (she didn’t come here
for you).”
Tman: (chuckling) “My bad, sorry about that. You

know I like to joke around. Hey, I’m Thabang, but you
can call me Tman.”
Nombulelo: “Hey, I’m Sarah. You can call me Sarah.

Nice to meet you as well.”
Priscilla chuckled and shook her head when she heard

me say that to him. I was just going with the flow and
to be honest, I didn’t think that I’d even be back there
after that night. Tman introduced us to everyone he
knew and then he introduced us to one peculiar guy.
Tman: “This right here is Thato AKA BJ. He doesn’t

like the BJ name for obvious reasons and the sexual
connotation to it, so he sticks to Thato.”
He looked me right in the eyes and there was an

instant connection. I felt something move within me,
something good for a change but knowing the luck I
had I quickly shut it down. He was honestly very good
Page 1456 of 1871

looking and quite light skinned. I liked how neat he
looked and he just reminded me of someone I knew
but I couldn’t pin point it. He had neatly cut hair with
a very well trimmed beared. He was dressed well and
he was quite shorter than me. That was quite a turn
off but he had the most gorgeous teeth and themost
beautiful smile I had ever seen.
Thato: “Hello, Sarah. You don’t look like a Sarah,

though. Do you mind if I kiss your hand?”
Nombulelo: “What do Sarah’s look like?”
Thato: “They mostly look like my pastor’s wife and

you most definitely look way hotter. Please do allow
me to kiss your hand.”
I handed him my hand and he kissed it slowly while

inhaling my scent. My goodness his eyes were just
the best I had ever seen. I didn’t even want to look
him in the eyes because his aura was just dominant
and it actually scared me.
Priscilla: “Well, you two seem to be getting along just

fine. Just stay ahead of us and you will be fine, Sarah.”
Page 1457 of 1871

She chuckled every time she said that name but I was
unbothered. We finally got to where the party was
hosted and it was a club house. It was quite full and
to be honest it took me a while to adjust to the crowd
and noise level. Priscilla ensured that she never left
my sight. She kept asking me every now and again if I
was okay. Every now and again I would zone out of
my conversation with Thato and he noticed.
Thato: “Surely I cannot be that boring, Sarah. Is it

your first party?”
Nombulelo: “Not really, I just haven’t been to a place

this noisy in a very long time.”
Thato: (nodding) “Okay, I get you. Let’s go to my flat.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t go to stranger’s houses.”
Thato: (laughing) “Of course I didn’t mean the two of

us only, I meant we can take our friends and take this
party to my house. Only if that’s okay with you.”
Page 1458 of 1871

I nodded in agreement and he was quite excited
about that.
Thato: “Hey, Tman, we’re taking the party to my

place.”
Tman: “Ah, man, there’s free booze here man.”
Thato: “We’ll buy booze on our way there. Let’s just

go.”
Tman: (excitedly) “Ah, wa bona (you see), P. Invite

your friend here often, man. Look at how whipped
Thato is and he hasn’t even tapped that.”
Priscilla: “Tman, ska tlo phapha mo (don’t be so

forward).”
What I had gathered so far was that Tman was a nice

guy, he was just forward. The four of us got into
Priscilla’s car. Tman and Priscilla were in the front
while Thato and I were in the back. He was a very
relaxed guy and respectful as well. He did not touch
me without permission nor did he enforce any talks of
a relationsip. Priscilla kept eyeing me from the
Page 1459 of 1871

rearview mirror just to check how I was feeling, but I
reassured her with eye contact that I was okay.
Thato: “Hey, P. You don’t mind stopping by the bottle

store first, do you?”
Tman: “No, she doesn’t mind. Do you, P?”
Priscilla: “Wena mara (you though).”
We stopped by the bottle store and the four of us got

out of the car. Tman was more than happy to choose
any bottles he wanted along with ciders, while Thato
and I were walking together. For some reason, I
wasn’t feeling alarmed around him. He just had this
amazing aura that made me feel like he was genuinely
a good guy.
Thato: “What would you like to drink?”
Nombulelo: “Oh, I don’t drink alcohol. Perhaps non-

alcoholic champagne would be fine for me.”
He seemed so impressed.
Page 1460 of 1871

Thato: (smiling) “A lady that doesn’t drink? You do
seem like a Sarah after all.”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “Don’t be fooled by that, I am

not that innocent you know.”
Thato: “I don’t mind. You could be the most

dangerous girl in the world and I’d still fall for you.”
At that time, all men just seemed too good to be true

for me. He bought everything he felt we needed and
more, including food. From there, we went to his
flat. I was quite amazed; for a student he seemed to
live quite a comfortable life in Boksburg unless they
were from a well off family. His flat was quite fancy
and he had every single thing one could think of for
furniture. He had a few paintings in there as well, and
basically he lacked nothing. I was quite impressed
and though it was quite dark outside, I got to take a
good look at him once we were at his flat. He looked
really good, even Alfred didn’t have that kind of dress
sense. I must have been staring at him for quite some
time and he noticed.
Page 1461 of 1871

Thato: (smiling) “Stop drooling over me, it’s
embarrassing.”
Nombulelo: (blushing) “I’m not drooling. Don’t flatter

yourself.”
He chuckled and got everything ready for us in the

kitchen. Apparently a few other friends were coming
over to join us. I sat next to Priscilla on one of the
couches while she had a Savanna in her hand.
Nombulelo: “Surprisingly I am fine.”
Priscilla: “He’s cute, isn’t he?”
Priscilla: “Don’t act stupid, you know exactly who I am

talking about.”
Nombulelo: “Thato? No, man. I am not looking for

anyone right now. You know I have way too much
baggage.”
Page 1462 of 1871

Priscilla: “It’s not a bad thing getting laid, you know.
I’m just saying.”
I just ignored her and he brought me my drink and sat

right next to me. He was having a Castle Light.
Thato: “You’re welcome. So, do tell me about Sarah. I

am dying to know more about her.”
Nombulelo: “What exactly do you want to know

about her?”
Thato: “Everything.”
Nombulelo: “Well, I don’t know where to start.”
I really had no idea where to start because I wasn’t

planning on telling him the truth about who I really
was.
Thato: “Okay, let me start. I was born and raised in

Mpumalanga, Kwazulu-Natal to be exact. I am the
Page 1463 of 1871

first born of three children. My mother is a Medical
Doctor and my father is a Lawyer. I am currently
studying Law and it is my first year at University. I
didn’t really want to study Law, but you know my
father being himself, he basically wanted me to follow
into his foot steps.”
Nombulelo: “I see. What exactly did you want to

study?”
Thato: “I wanted to study Art. I love drawing and

painting, as you can see.”
He made reference to all the art work in his flat. I was

so intrigued and I was trying by all means to derail
him from asking me about my life.
Nombulelo: “Oh, do you mind telling me the story

behind the paintings?”
Thato: “I’d rather hear about you.”
Nombulelo: “All artists are proud of their work, aren’t

they?”
Page 1464 of 1871

Thato: “Yes, I am very proud of them, but I am still yet
to draw something very dear to my heart. I have
been dying for inspiration and I think I am looking at
it. I have found the gem that will keep me painting.”
He stared me in the eye and I felt something happen

to me again, as if I was feeling some sort of fireworks
in my bloodstream. I looked away shyly.
Thato: “I am waiting Sarah. Please do tell me about

you.”
I thought of lying completely but then, had I done so

he would have most probably asked Priscilla about my
life.
Nombulelo: (clearing throat) “There’s not much to tell

about me, but I am also turning 19 this year in
March. I am the first born of four children, I am
currently not studying anything.”
I honestly thought he would judge me for that, but he

was very relaxed about it.
Page 1465 of 1871

Thato: “Okay, would you like to study at some point in
your life?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, sure. I mean I have no idea what

but I would love to.”
Thato: “What was your favourite subject at school?”
The liar in me felt the need to lie again.
Nombulelo: “Life Sciences, though I got distinctions in

all my subjects after matric. I never really felt bad
while lying but when I lied to him, I’d feel something
sting me a bit.”
Thato: “That’s amazing. You are not just beautiful,

you are smart too. I like that.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, you’re a charmer, aren’t you?”
Thato: “Believe me, I don’t just charm anyone. Do

you believe in God, Sarah?”
That was quite off topic. I hoped he wasn’t about to

start preaching.
Page 1466 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Why do you ask?”
Thato: “Well, it’s not that I want to preach to you –

believe me it isn’t. It’s just that, I once told God that I
would find my future wife right when I started
studying.”
Nombulelo: “You just started University as in

yesterday, so how could you have found your future
wife?”
Thato: “I’m looking at her.”
He seemed like such a charmer but something told

me he was not joking. He was truthful, I could tell just
by looking at him. It was as if his soul was speaking to
me. I hadn’t met anyone that genuine and
unfortunately, he had met someone who was in a
desperate situation, someone who was not seeking
any companionship. We enjoyed ourselves with the
rest of the people who had come to party with us.
Thato was entertaining me throughout the entire
night and I even forgot about Priscilla for a while. I felt
Page 1467 of 1871

so comfortable around him, even when it started
getting a bit too crowded.
Thato: “I know you don’t like noise, but do you mind if

we go somewhere quiet? Like my bedroom?”
He didn’t give me any vibes that he was trying to get

sexual with me, so I agreed. When we got to his
bedroom, I was even more impressed. He was a
genuine neat freak much like Afred. Everything was
put in a precise position and there was no dirt in
sight. We sat on his bed together and he put on a
movie on Netflix. While we were just watching in
peace, I received another text message from my
stalker ex. “Keep ignoring me while whoring around, I
will send you a serious message you cannot ignore.” I
switched off my phone.
Thato: “Are you okay?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I’m fine. It’s no one important.”
Thato: “Alright.”
Page 1468 of 1871

I had the most pleasant night with someone I felt
understood me. He wasn’t pushy or trying to
persuade me to do something I wasn’t ready for. The
conversation was really fruitful, for once I wasn’t
having a conversation about guns and fraud. I don’t
know but it felt as if I needed to meet him at that
certain point in my life. He was someone who had no
criminal idea in his mind but just by meeting him, I
started going back to my old ways. Little did I know
that I was about to tap my mind into the person I was
before I had gone to prison, but also that I’d be a lot
more vicious and a lot more successful than Alfred
and his crew.
As said in 2 Timothy 2:15 – “Do your best to present

yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has
no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of
truth.”
Chapter 65
eremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I
knew you, and before you were born I consecrated
you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
Thato fell asleep and when I looked at the time, it was

around 00:00. I left the bedroom without making a
Page 1469 of 1871

sound and looked all over for Priscilla. I couldn’t find
her in the kitchen nor on any of the couches, so she
had to be in the other bedroom. I knocked sternly
until she eventually answered. She seemed to have
been having a really good time since she had a towel
wrapped around her.
Priscilla: “Oh, friend. What’s up?”
Nombulelo: “I hate to do this to you, but can we leave

please?”
I heard Tman in the background.
Tman: “Ah, P! You can’t leave me hanging like this!”
Priscilla: “Cool, let me get dressed.”
She closed the door quickly and got dressed in record

time. The entire time I kept staring at Thato’s
bedroom door hoping that he would not open it. I
was afraid he might have realized what I had just
done. Priscilla walked out within a few minutes. She
didn’t hesitate to leave what she was busy with
Page 1470 of 1871

although I felt so bad about it. Tman was complaining
though.
Tman: “Ah, P, come on. Just stay for a while longer.”
Priscilla: “I’ll make it up to you – I always do. See you.

Let’s go, friend.”
We walked out with Tman standing right in the lounge

with a stiff penis, but my friend didn’t bother. We
rushed to the car and she looked at me with worry
before we left.
Priscilla: “Are you okay? Did he hurt you or

something?”
Nombulelo: “No, I just…”
Priscilla: “What is it? I doubt he wanted to have sex

with you. He’s just not that kind of guy, so what
happened?”
Nombulelo: “Eish (oh), it’s just that… I took his wallet.”
Page 1471 of 1871

When I showed her I honestly thought that she would
be upset with me but she laughed so hard leaving me
confused.
Nombulelo: “Aren’t you upset with me?”
Priscilla: (laughing) “Why would I do that? I do that to

Tman all the time. Look, even now, I took R1500 from
his wallet. He can’t possibly chow me for free – he
knows that.”
Nombulelo: “Yes, well Thato is just such an awesome

guy. He didn’t even ask me for sex not even once. I
feel so horrible.”
Priscilla: “Then return it to him.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t think I can. Have you seen how

big this wallet is?”
It was quite fat and I felt bad for doing that to him, but
I was desperate to make some more money.
Page 1472 of 1871

Priscilla: (laughing) “You worry too much. Judging by
the way he was looking at you, I doubt he’d be upset
with you the next time you meet.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t think I ever want to see him

again. Come, let’s go before he comes down here.”
Priscilla: “Alright then, love.”
We drove off with my heart feeling heavy, but money

came first for me. I had too much on my plate and I
was convinced that I was doing the right thing for me.
Once we arrived at my house, I took out all the notes
in his wallet and counted them. To my surprise he
had around R3000 in there. For the very first time my
heart was beating quite fast and I could feel that I was
regretting my actions.
Priscilla: “Do you still want to return the money now?”
Nombulelo: “No, this will top up what we have. I

want us to open our own tavern.”
Priscilla: “It will take a lot of money to do that, you

know.”
Page 1473 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Yes, which is why we are going to
venture straight into being loan sharks once we have
our tavern up and running.”
Priscilla: “Loan sharks, my friend? What kind of

women would we be? Where will we get protection
should people come after us or decide not to pay us?”
Nombulelo: “Which is why we have to back to being

old school – pickpocketing and stealing wallets of
these useless Varsity guys.”
Priscilla: “It won’t end well because they will know us.
Our faces will be a lot more prominent since we’d be
visiting campus quite often.”
Nombulelo: “Which is why we will get a third wheel,

someone hot who will get these guys on their knees.
She will drug them a little, just enough for us to steal
from them.”
Priscilla: “I like the way you think. I thought you didn’t

want to go back to prison.”
Page 1474 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I don’t, so we will ensure that nothing
takes us back there. We will just have to scout an easy
girl who is quite desperate. She will be doing all the
little dirty work while we are involved in the big
business.”
She was quite impressed with my plans. I really

wanted to get the tavern rolling but one thing was for
sure; I couldn’t have it in my yard because of my
siblings and their safety. We decided to sleep in my
bed that night since we got home after midnight
anyway. I was not expecting to have a dream of
anyone at all until Michelle came to visit me in my
dreams. Her smile was as beautiful as the time she
was still alive.
Michelle: (smiling) “Hi, my friend. I see you have

finally met your future husband.”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “Michelle, you are still funny

even in death, I see.”
Michelle: “I told you I’ll always be a part of your life. I

am here to guide you – always. Do you not
Page 1475 of 1871

remember our conversation when I told you about
your fate?”
Nombulelo: “I do.”
Michelle: “Then why are you choosing the wrong

road ahead?”
Nombulelo: “Because you of all people know how

much I am struggling. Haven’t you noticed how much
I am struggling with my siblings?”
Michelle: “No one said that this life would be easy.

You just always fail to hang in there. Patience has
never been your strong point.”
Nombulelo: “In life, we all have our own struggle to

face and the only way I can take care of them is if I
hustle. Which school will take me when I have a
criminal record? I won’t even get a job.”
Michelle: “Have you tried?”
Nombulelo: “Should I try while they starve?”
Page 1476 of 1871

Michelle: “Your biggest mistake is not looking to God
for your answers. Everything happens for a reason,
Nombulelo. Luck does run out and believe me, you
will have to face Him head on one day.”
Nombulelo: “I will deal with that when the time

comes. And please, don’t tell me that Thato is my
future husband. Have you noticed how short he is?”
Michelle: (laughing) “He has a lot more going for him

than his height. Believe me, he will change your life.”
Nombulelo: “Wait, you can’t leave yet.”
Michelle: “It’s my time to go. Change your ways, look

to God and start changing your ways. Your blessings
will come your way a lot sooner if you repent.”
With that said, she left me hanging. I found myself

waking up and I could still smell her scent. Oh,
Michelle just left me with a hollow heart. When I
stared at my phone, I had a message from Thato. I
had no idea where he even got my number. “Hey, I
hope I didn’t scare you away. You left so soon without
saying goodbye. I was hoping to take you out for
Page 1477 of 1871

breakfast. Call me in the morning. Love T”. I was so
conflicted, a part of me wanted to call him and
apologize but a part of me said no, he would be fine. I
decided to ignore his message and sleep. The
following morning came and it was a Sunday. I
already had so many ideas wrapped up in my head
that I just wasn’t interested in the cooking business
any more. It wasn’t generating as much money as I
was hoping for. We got into Priscilla’s car after
washing up and getting ready and headed to the mall,
the very mall where I met Alfred and where he taught
me how to pick pocket people. The thing about a
criminal mind is this; you can be away from life and
the criminal scene for years but you can never forget
how to think like a criminal. We were dressed
properly in our designer wear. We sat outside in the
parking lot and we scouted our victims. One thing we
knew was that one couldn’t commit the same crime
all day in one place, so we had about three to four
victims that day. Priscilla was the one who introduced
the crew to card skimming and card cloning and card
fraud, so we managed to do such that day as well. All
in all, we managed to get around R10 000. It was a
dry day, but we had made progress. We had
managed to get our savings up to R25 000. We still
Page 1478 of 1871

needed a girl who could do some things for us
because we needed to secure a place where we
would build the tavern and get a liquor license. Yes,
there was a tavern about two houses away from
mine, so I had to think of making ours special and
different from that one. One thing about the
township is that there is literally a liquor store or
tavern in every street. After about five hours of being
in the mall parking lot, we ran out of luck.
Nombulelo: “Let’s just go home.”
Patience has never been my strong point as Michelle

said.
Priscilla: “No, I think we can still win. Let’s go to a

nearby club, that’s where we can get the girl we
need.”
I was already hopeless at that point but I gave Priscilla

the benefit of the doubt.
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Okay, let’s go.”
Page 1479 of 1871

While scouting and robbing people of their hard
earned money that day, I was ignoring countless
messages from Thato. While Priscilla was driving to a
nearby club in Boksburg that had great soul sessions
on Sundays, she received a call.
Priscilla: “Oh, look, it’s Tman. He must probably be

looking for a second round.”
She answered the call so casually.
Priscilla: “Sho (hey) Tman. What’s up?”
Tman: “Ah, wena mara (you though). Wa no nshiya

nyanyeng vele (so you really just left me hanging)?”
Priscilla: “Don’t be such a baby, Tman. We will meet

again.”
Tman: “When?”
Priscilla: “Since when are you so clingy?”
Page 1480 of 1871

Tman: (sigh) “Eish (oh), flopo ke gore (the problem is
that) Thato is pestering me. Apparently Sarah is
ignoring his calls and messages.”
Priscilla looked at me while giggling quietly.
Priscilla: “Oh? So why doesn’t he call again or simply

get the message?”
I could hear Thato speaking in the background.
Thato: (softly) “Ah, mfo (bro), mtshele ukuthi (tell her

that) it’s important.”
Tman: “Eish (oh), the thing is it’s really important. He

just can’t stop thinking about her, man. P, you
understand what young love is like, dude. Help a guy
out here.”
Priscilla: “Okay, I will see what I can do. I will update

you.”
Tman: (excitedly) “Thanks. Bye.”
They hung up and she looked at me so surprised.
Page 1481 of 1871

Priscilla: “Are you still going to keep the guy in the

dark about who you really are?”
Nombulelo: “Like it’s easy to just say, hi, Thato, I lied to

you about who I really am. I’m Nombulelo Makeba
and I just recently come from prison. How does that
sound?”
Priscilla: “That is the best introduction you have ever

given about yourself.”
Nombulelo: (scoffing) “Don’t play with me like that, P.

You know very well he will run away and block me as
soon as he hears me say that.”
Priscilla: “Oh, I thought you didn’t want anything to do

with him.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t.”
Priscilla: “Oh, okay. Just contact him. You just never

know where it might lead to. I’m just saying.”
Page 1482 of 1871

Nombulelo: “You want us to end up like you and
Tman?”
Priscilla: (laughing) “Oh, honey. Tman and I are just

friends. He is there when I need to relieve my sexual
tension, that’s all.”
Nombulelo: “How does that work?”
Priscilla: “Easy. He provides me good dick and I give

him good pussy. It’s a win-win situation.”
Nombulelo: “Well, I don’t think I will ever do that.”
Priscilla: “Okay then. Just call the guy when you get
the chance.”
We arrived at the club and reserved a table for two. It

was not very full but we all know what people get up
to on Sunday afternoons in townships. We had our
drinks and wings for starters while looking around. It
didn’t take us too long to notice all the girls who had
come there for a measly hustle; the usual girls who
were brought by old men to have fun and entertain
Page 1483 of 1871

them knowing very well they wanted to get drinks
and run away from them. We saw a very beautiful
young girl, most probably my age or so. She had the
perfect hour glass figure, much like Matshidiso. She
had make-up and her wig on fleek and was the
perfect yellow bone that most men fell for. We could
all see her nipples right through the tight, white dress
she was wearing. We analyzed her ever since she
walked in; she had an old, rich-looking man on her
arm who was dressed with a big belly in an expensive
suit. They sat on one table and he ordered the most
epensive champagne bottle and Cognac. They also
ordered the most expensive platter on the menu and
a hubbly. All eyes were on her; she was the prettiest
girl there according to them. When she went to the
toilet, we noticed how many of the guys around had
also attempted to go to the toilet just to see her
walking past.
Priscilla: “I’ll be right back.”
I nodded in agreement. I knew she was going to

analyze her and try to see what she was all about.
After about five minutes, Priscilla came back smiling.
Page 1484 of 1871

Nombulelo: “And?”
Priscilla: “Girl, she is broke, far more broke than you

and me. She is about to spike that old man, you will
see.”
It’s amazing how much one can learn from just being
observant. Our eyes were set on her the entire time,
and we noticed how she quickly spiked him without
anyone else noticing. By then Priscilla had found out
just about enough for us to get that girl right where
we wanted her. He was a Tycoon from Cape Town
amd he was married with three children. She was an
Instagram slay queen and an aspiring influencer and a
high school drop out. At least we had something in
common. We knew her name and where she was
from and it was understandable why she was hustling
like that. Coming from a poor background is no joke
at all.
Priscilla: “Do you see that? She put that powder right
under her nail while in the bathroom. I saw her.”
Page 1485 of 1871

Priscilla: “It must be cocaine or something, but it’s
most definitely a drug. Let’s just hope that poor man
does not get a heart attack or something.”
We sat and ordered more drinks, a juice for me and

Savanna for Priscilla and we watched the show
unfold. Each time she had come back from the toilet,
she would spike him some more. That seemed rather
dangerous for someone who looked so young. After
about 3 hours, the man started complaining of chest
pains. Of course he was going to get some pains
judging by the amount of food and alcohol he kept
pumping into his system, and then mixed with
whatever she was spiking him with. It was disastrous.
He complained and she offered him some water, after
a while he struggled to breathe and that’s when she
asked for assistance.
Girl: (shouting) “Oh, my Word! Can someone please

help! Call an ambulance or something! Does anyone
know how to do CPR?! Oh, my gosh, baby! Are you
okay?!”
He fell onto the ground but by then some people had

already gathered to assist him. They removed his
Page 1486 of 1871

jacket which she got to hold and unbuttoned his
shirt. She most probably felt like she had hit the
jackpot. After about 15 minutes, the ambulance
arrived. People had taken out their phones and
recorded the entire scene. It’s baffling how people
just live for social media. They were just waiting for
him to die right there and be the first ones to post it.
Girl: “I’m right behind you, baby.”
She obviously couldn’t drive but she had his jacket.

She told the paramedics that she would follow them
in her car. Really? We requested the bill and followed
her. She stood right outside the club, near his car.
She opened it and took a few things out, but we were
standing just behind her. When she was about to turn
around, she nearly fell to the ground due to shock.
Priscilla: “Oh, hello. Sorry, we didn’t mean to scare

you. My name is Priscilla and this right here is my
friend Nombulelo.”
She had the audacity to look at us like we were made

of some sort of filth after what she had just done.
Page 1487 of 1871

Girl: “Oh, I have no business with you. Can I help
you?”
I chuckled in disbelief.
Priscilla: “Oh, no, you don’t get to look at us like that,

honey. Especially not after what you have just done.”
Girl: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Priscilla: “Okay, then. Let’s see what the police are

going to say when they find out you just spiked a
millionaire with cocaine in a small club in Boksburg.
Better yet, let’s see what your 65 000 followers will
think of you once they see the video I just took of you
spiking the poor man.”
Girl: (panicking) “What do you want from me?”
Nombulelo: “We want you to come and work with

us. You have great skill, I admire that, but you have
got to choose another form of poison other than
cocain, darling. You do know he can hunt you down
and kill you for that, right?”
Page 1488 of 1871

Girl: “He won’t do anything to me, not with what I
have on him.”
Priscilla: “Stop thinking small and think about our

offer. Here’s my number. I am only giving you 24
hours to think this through.”
We left her standing just like that and drove off. She
looked like she was really at a loss for words.
Nombulelo: “Do you think she will consider it?”
Priscilla: “She will agree, no doubt. It’s not like she has
a choice.”
While driving back I received an alarming text

message from Thato. “Hey, I don’t mean to bother.
I’ve just been involved in a car accident in Boksburg. I
just thought I should let you know.” I panicked so
much and the first thought that came to mind was me
calling him. He wasn’t answering and so I dialed him
again and again.
Priscilla: “Hold on, let me try Tman. They are always

together.”
Page 1489 of 1871

She dialed Tman and luckily he answered.
Priscilla: “Oh, thank goodness, Tman. Where’s Thato?

He just texted Nombulelo and now he isn’t answering
his phone.”
Tman: “Oh, that. He was just taken in for Xrays. His

phone must be in the ward.”
Priscilla: “Which hospital are you guys at?”
He gave her the name of the hospital and we rushed

over there quickly. I was so worried and anxious
about someone I hardly even knew. My heart was
pounding and I was drenched in sweat. I hated that
feeling so much. The moment Priscilla parked the car,
I was the very first one to exit as if I even knew where
I was going. I found myself rushing towards the
hospital entrance like a mad woman.
Priscilla: “Lelo, wait up.”
Nombulelo: (anxiously) “Where did he say they

were?”
Page 1490 of 1871

Priscilla spotted Tman rather quickly.
Priscilla: “Oh, there he is.”
We rushed towards him and he looked fine and had

no scratch whatsoever.
Nombulelo: “How is he? Is he badly injured?”
Tman: “No, he’s not, well, not that I can tell. He only
complained of pain in his right arm.”
Nombulelo: “What happened?”
Tman: “I don’t even know. He was driving and we

were on our way to see you guys and the next thing I
know a car came crashing directly into our front view.”
I couldn’t help but feel like it was done deliberately. It

just didn’t make any sense. It was broad daylight but
anything can happen.
Priscilla: “Well, I am just glad you are okay. When can

we see him?”
Page 1491 of 1871

Tman: “I think once they are done with the tests.”
I sat there and thought long and hard about Thato. I

could only imagine had he died without me telling
him what I had done or the truth about the real me. I
felt so concerned that I wasn’t engaging in any
conversation with Priscilla and Tman. While I was
deep in thought, my phone rang.
Nombulelo: “Oh, it’s him.”
I answered it.
Thato: “Hey, did you get my message? I’m sorry I

couldn’t return your calls. They took me for Xrays.”
Nombulelo: “Hey, yes I did get your messages. I am

here at the hospital. Which ward are you in?”
Thato: (excitedly) “You mean you’re here? To see

me?”
Page 1492 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Yes, I came as fast as I could.”
Thato: “Okay, I’m in Ward 02.”
Nombulelo: “Okay, we’re coming.”
Thato: “Come alone. I can see those two later.”
I hung up and just as they were getting ready to get

up I simply gave them the message.
Nombulelo: “He requested me to go see him alone

first and that you two will follow afterwards.”
Tman: “Hmm, ja, neh. Thato wa shwa wa ikepela ka

wena (Thato is head over heels in love with you), my
girl. Go before he changes his mind.”
They sat back down while I walked hastily to his ward.

He was in a private room and sat there just waiting for
me. The moment I walked in I could see so much
radiance on his face. He just had the greatest smile.
Page 1493 of 1871

Thato: “Hey. Come closer, I don’t bite.”
I walked closer to him and he gave me a hug. It felt so

weird to be in the arms of another guy again. I hadn’t
touched a man since I was arrested the previous year.
Perhaps my body was just reacting to what Priscilla
called “dry season” but each time he looked me
straight in the eyes and touched me, I felt my knees
getting weak. There was no way that what Michelle
said was true, I thought to myself. I mean, he was
short, shorter than me. How could I have possibly
been destined to marry a short man though?
Nombulelo: “I am so sorry I didn’t respond to your

calls today. I just didn’t know what to say?”
Thato: “Oh, you didn’t know what to say about

what?”
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Well, I…”
Thato: “I know that you are not Sarah Ngobeni and

that your real name is Nombulelo Makeba.”
Page 1494 of 1871

I froze as he spoke. My body just gave into the shock.
I assumed he was going to spill more beans about
what he knew about me but he seemed rather
apprehensive after noticing my reaction. I mean
could Tman really have given him my real surname as
well? It seemed to me as if he knew way more than
he led on, but he chose to stop there.
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Look, to be honest I just

didn’t think I’d ever see you again hence I used a fake
name.”
Thato: “And what about now?”
Thato: “Do you think you’ll ever see me again? For a

proper date this time?”
Nombulelo: “Sure, of course. You just name the

date.”
Thato: “Well, how about now?”
Page 1495 of 1871

Nombulelo: (frowning) “You were just involved in an
accident. You can’t possibly be in a state to go out.”
Thato: “It’s just a broken arm, besides I can handle it.

What do you say?”
I felt so guilty. Perhaps he was trying to get me to

confess about his wallet, but what were we going to
do when it was time for him to pay the bill? I took my
chances and went with is idea.
Nombulelo: “Okay, let’s do it.”
Thato: (smiling) “Well, alright then. Let’s go.”
He was really getting discharged at that moment and

so he asked me to walk out with him.
Thato: (laughing) “Nombulelo…”
The way he said my name just hit so differently. It just

activated a spot I never knew I had.
Page 1496 of 1871

Thato: “Please hold my hand. I’m feeling a little dizzy.”
He gave me a little mischievous smile. He just wanted

to hold my hand, that’s all. I let him be. Tman was
quite relieved to see his friend up and about.
Tman: “Eh, mfo (hey dude). You’re done already? I

thought they were going to admit you?”
Thato: “No, it’s just a broken arm. I don’t need to be

admitted.”
Priscilla: “That’s great news. In that case, I’ll drive you

guys back to campus.”
Thato: “Actually, I have asked this beautiful lady here

out on a date. So, could you please accompany us?
You guys can have your own table - away from us.”
Priscilla: (impressed) “You don’t have to even ask.

Let’s go.”
I thought we were going to a simple place perhaps

McDonalds or something. I mean he was a student
after all, but no. He chose a fancy restaurant, the one
Page 1497 of 1871

Alfred once took me to during our early days of
dating. It was a bit bitter sweet for me, but I didn’t
miss Alfred at all. He politely asked Tman and Priscilla
to find their own table a little far from us and that he
would take care of the bill. He politely pulled my chair
out for me and waited for me to be comfortable
before he took a seat. When I looked at him, he truly
reminded me of someone I met before but I still
couldn’t pin point it. He did tell me he came from
KwaZulu Natal and he sure did not look like he was of
Setswana descent but he spoke the language so well.
Thato: “Why are you staring at me like that? Am I

finally charming you?”
Nombulelo: (blushing) “Oh, no, I didn’t mean to be

rude.”
Thato: “It’s okay, you can stare at me all day, I don’t

mind.”
Nombulelo: “I was asking myself why you speak

Setswana so well yet you grew up in Mpumalanga.”
Page 1498 of 1871

Thato: “Oh, I am very versatile, you know. Besides,
my father married my mother who is Setswana.”
That made sense.
Nombulelo: “I see. You haven’t told me much about

your father.”
His facial expression changed immediately when I

mentioned his father. I must have hit a deep nerve.
Thato: “Oh, him. There’s not much to say about him.

We don’t get along very much.”
Nombulelo: “I didn’t mean to pry.”
Thato: “It’s not that at all. I just don’t have a very

close relationship with him. He is a lawyer, well – he
used to be. It’s a long story but the bottom line is that
he wants to live his dream through me, basically. I
hate it when parents choose career paths for their
children. Don’t get me wrong, so many children go
through a lot out there. They grow up with really
toxic and abusive parents, so I am blessed. I will get
Page 1499 of 1871

my law degree and be able to focus on my art. God
does not make mistakes.”
We continued our conversation while our drinks

arrived.
Nombulelo: “You speak of God quite a lot.”
Thato: “Does it bother you?”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “Not really. I had a best

friend who used to tell me about God all the time.
Sadly, I just don’t believe in Him.”
I thought that would be a turn off for him but he was

quite intrigued about my statement.
Thato: “Do you mind me asking why you don’t believe

in Him?”
Nombulelo: “It’s just that… So much has been taken

from me. I cannot recall ever having an easy life. My
grandmother raised me so well and my mother
couldn’t care for me at all. Once she died everything
changed. My mother was not a very good mother
Page 1500 of 1871

although I understand her actions now. It was tough, I
won’t lie. I have lost so much and I still don’t get why I
should believe in God. I mean I am still struggling
even now.”
I gave him a brief background story of my life. I

appreciated the way he would listen to me attentively
without interrupting me. He just had a way of making
me open up to him. I just chose not to go deeper into
my story about Alfred and his crew and my sisters. I
just wasn’t ready for all that.
Thato: “I hear you, believe me I do. I can’t say I can

relate, because you have just been through the most.
It’s not easy living life not knowing where your next
meal will come from
but one thing I would like to tell you about is that God
is a God of miracles. I am not giving up on you – not
just yet. I firmly believe that one day you will see
God’s miracles with your own two eyes. All you have
to do is have faith. Matthew 21:22 says; “And
whatever you ask for in prayer, you will receive, if you
have faith.”
Page 1501 of 1871

He was telling me about God and faith, he reminded
me of Mam’Rachel.
Thato: “Anyway, I didn’t mean to preach to you, but

one day I know you will understand.”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Do tell me what happened

today. I mean how did you get into an accident?”
Thato: “I actually don’t know, I mean I was driving and

out of nowhere a car just crashed right into mine.”
Nombulelo: “What happened to the driver?”
Thato: “I don’t even know. I fell unconscious for a

while but they said he ran away soon after the crash.
I am just glad I am alive and unharmed. It can only be
God’s grace.”
Something didn’t add up in terms of the crash.
Nombulelo: “What did the police say?”
Page 1502 of 1871

Thato: “They said it looked intentional, but they
would follow up. You know the justice system of this
country.”
I had a very strange feeling that Alfred was involved in

that, I mean he accident happened right after he sent
me that weird message the previous night.
Thato: “Enough about me. I would like to know a lot

more about you, since now that I know your real
name.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, I thought I already told you about

me.”
Thato: “You told me about where and how you grew

up – not about you. I want to know about
Nombulelo. What you love, what you hate.”
Nombulelo: (nervously) “I… I don’t like much, I don’t

have a lot of hobbies.
Thato: “You don’t have to hide anything from me, not

like that. The truth is, I really like you and it doesn’t
matter where you come from or what you do. I have
Page 1503 of 1871

never met any girl that I like the way I like you. I know,
a girl with your beauty must have heard this a million
times, but honestly, you are the girl I have long been
waiting for, the girl I have long been praying for.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t understand. I mean, aren’t guys

your age supposed to be dating like crazy?”
Thato: “I’m not just any guy. My mother taught me

that sure, I will date in my life but there will come a
time when I will feel weak when around my
soulmate. I swear, the moment I met you I felt that
weakness. My knees became wobbly, my heart
started beating a lot faster than usual and my eyes felt
so tingly. Above all, I felt God speak to me.”
Nombulelo: “Oh? What did he say?”
Thato: “One day, I found my mother crying profusely.

I had never seen my mother cry before that day. I
asked her why she was crying and she told me she
found out my father was cheating on her. It seemed
as if he had been doing it for quite some time. I was
very upset on her behalf but on that day, I told myself
that I’d never treat a woman like that – ever. I knelt
Page 1504 of 1871

down and prayed, I said ‘Dear Lord, help my mother
through this difficult time in her life, I understand you
knew why she married my father. I know she won’t
leave, but grant her the will power to find herself
again and be happy. I do ask of You to please make
me a better man than my father. I pray for a woman
whom I will love the way You intended and one who
will love me wholeheartedly. I ask this in Jesus Mighty
Name. Amen.’ Odd enough I went to sleep that
evening and I heard the verse “For I know the plans I
have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and
not for evil, to give you a future and a hope, Jeremiah
29:11. That’s the very same verse that came to mind
the moment I met you. What I am saying is that I
don’t live my life according to any religion or gospel,
but I live my life according to my faith in God. One
day I will tell you all about why exactly I have so much
faith in Him. He allowed me to meet you.”
Nombulelo: “That’s an amazing story, truly. I just

don’t see how you can tell that I am the one just by
one simple encounter. People change.”
Thato: “That’s where faith comes in. You just have to

trust the process.”
Page 1505 of 1871

He seemed so genuine and I didn’t do very well
around such people.
Nombulelo: “What if I am not what you see? What if I

disappoint you?”
Thato: “We will deal with that when the time comes.
I am not asking you to marry me, I mean you would
most definitely run away. All I am asking for is a
chance to get to know you.”
He was so sincere that I just agreed. In my heart I

knew that I was just not good for him. I mean, I felt
like I would hurt him. He was just too good for me. I
nodded in agreement and he was happy about it. We
finished our lunch and even had dessert. When it was
time to pay, I could hardly face him. My heart was
just pounding and to my surprise, he took out another
card to pay with. All I did was take his wallet and steal
his cash, I assumed he didn’t have any other card to
use. I could feel the sweat on my forehead become
profuse, so I just kept quiet.
Page 1506 of 1871

Thato: “Why do you look so worried? I can’t possibly
let you pay for our date.”
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Oh, it’s just that…”
Thato: “Just what? Are you trying to confess

something?”
Nombulelo: “Something like what?”
Thato: (smiling) “Something like you stole my wallet

last night while I was sleeping.”
I nearly fainted on that floor. He said it with such a

smile, it was not a devious smile even. He seemed
really calm about it, I on the other hand felt so
ashamed of my actions.
Nombulelo: (embarrassed) “Thato, I – “
Thato: (interjecting) “Forgive me for interjecting but I

didn’t say that to make you feel bad about yourself.
To be honest, I didn’t think you had the guts to do
such a thing. It’s a very funny story to tell our children
one day.”
Page 1507 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I’ll pay you back, I promise.”
Thato: “No, no, please. Take it as your very first

girlfriend allowance.”
He smiled at me while I could barely look him in the

eye. After that, he didn’t mention it ever again that
day.
Thato: “Come, let’s go find those two weed heads.”
He was referring to Priscilla and Tman who had

vanished from the restaurant. They were done eating
a while ago and he paid our bill altogether. He was
such a nice guy, despite being in so much pain after
his arm was broken, he still made the time to enjoy
himself with me. He didn’t even want to leave as yet,
but it was a Sunday and he had classes the following
day. Priscilla drove them back to his flat and he didn’t
really want to say goodbye. I got out of the car to bid
him farewell otherwise he was never going to let us
leave. He stood right before me and I could tell there
was quite a big height difference between us.
Page 1508 of 1871

Thato: (smiling) “Please tell me I am going to see you
again soon, my gangster queen.”
The irony in that pet name he had given me.
Nombulelo: “Of course you will.”
Thatho: “Do you mind if I hug you?”
Nombulelo: “Am I supposed to bend over a little?”
Thato: (laughing) “Dynamite comes in small packages,

Nombulelo. He tiptoed to hug me and it felt a little
awkward at first but it was hilariously cute. He then
kissed my cheek.”
Thato: “I will see you soon. Bye.”
He stood there and watched us drive off. I felt my

cheeks getting flushed. Was I really the person who
was blushing over a short guy like Thato?
Priscilla: “Ooh, I see someone is blushing bathing

(goodness).”
Page 1509 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Hayi (no) man, P. Etswa daar (let it go).”
Priscilla: “You know, he is a really nice guy.”
Nombulelo: “I can tell. Are you the one who told him
about my real name?”
Priscilla: (laughing) “Nope. Tman didn’t either.

Perhaps he did his own research.”
Priscilla: “Did you honestly think with all the money he

grew up in he would not do research about a girl he
really adores?”
Nombulelo: (worried) “Do you think he knows that I

went to prison?”
Priscilla: “Yes, I do.”
Nombulelo: (panicking) “Shit, Priscilla. Then why is he

still hung up on me if he knows that?”
Page 1510 of 1871

Priscilla: “Because he really likes you. Prison is not
that deep.”
Nombulelo: “But he is such a holy guy.”
Priscilla: “God-fearing rather than holy. You didn’t tell

him everything?”
I shook my head.
Priscilla: “Oh, well, he is most probably just waiting for

you to tell him. I mean, he figured you stole his
wallet, baby girl and he is still interested. If I were you,
I’d spill all the beans about my life.”
Nombulelo: “No, I don’t want him to look at me

differently.”
Priscilla: “You’re hooked, I see. All I know is that if you

really like a person and see apotential future with
them, honestly is the best medicine. I am just saying.”
I knew she was right, she never advised me in an

improper manner, but I just wasn’t ready to do that. I
felt we were from two completely different worlds
Page 1511 of 1871

and I could never have been accepted by his family –
ever. She dropped me off at home and I found
Millicent had already made us Sunday lunch. I ate a
little with her and caught up with her.
Nombulelo: “So, how’s school?”
Millicent: “School is school, I guess.”
Nombulelo: “Aren’t you enjoying it?”
Millicent: “I am.”
She twitched before answering me and she

hesitated. I knew then that something was not right
at school.
Nombulelo: “You do know you can tell me anything,

right?”
Millicent: “Yes, I know that.”
Nombulelo: “Okay, then. Have you made any

friends?”
Page 1512 of 1871

Millicent: “I have to go do my homework. We can do
this another time, right?”
She was avoiding further questions about school.

Something was wrong and I could feel it in my gut.
She wasn’t prepared to give me any answers, so the
best way was for me to go and find out myself.
She was attending the same high school I was

attending, so I already knew it wasn’t going to be easy
for her. I washed the dishes and cleaned up and took
a bath before getting into bed. I saw WhatsApp texts
from Thato.
Thato: “Hey, did you get home safely?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I did, thank you.”
Thato: “Okay, my gangster queen. I miss you already.”
Nombulelo: “Are we already in those stages now?”
Page 1513 of 1871

Thato: “I am though you are not. Patience is a real
virtue.”
Nombulelo: “I will hold you to that.”
Thato: “Alright, I have an early day tomorrow. We’ll

talk again soon. Good night.”
Nombulelo: “Good night.”
I was quite happy, perhaps it was the fact that

someone genuine was interested in me or that
Priscilla and I’s plans were almost coming together. I
received yet another message from Alfred. “You think
that just because your new boyfriend didn’t die that
I’ll let things go? This is just the beginning,
Nombulelo. You are one ungrateful bitch.” Clearly he
felt that I owed him after all he had given me. My
woes were just piling up. I didn’t need his drama but
he ensured that I felt threatened by him. I had to do
something about him very fast. The following
morning came and I had to get up early and pack
Millicent’s lunch but I noticed she had already done
that the previous evening. I didn’t want to open the
kitchen that day because I wanted to find out what
Page 1514 of 1871

was happening at Millicen’t school. After she was
already dressed, she found me waiting for her in the
lounge.
Millicent: “Are you going somewhere?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I am taking you to school today.”
She reacted nervously immediately.
Millicent: “Why? I can take care of myself, you know.”
Nombulelo: “I know that. I just want to meet up with

your school teachers and find out what your progress
is.”
Millicent: “No, there’s no need to do that. I am fine.”
Nombulelo: “Millicent – “
She didn’t even give me a chance to finish my

sentence.
Millicent: (interrupting) “Just let it go, please!”
Page 1515 of 1871

I saw her getting teary. Something big was going on
and I couldn’t let her continue like that.
Nombulelo: “If you don’t tell me what’s going on right

now, I am dragging you there myself and your
teachers will have to tell me what is going on.”
Millicent: (crying) “I’m being bullied, okay?! I didn’t

want to tell you all this because you have so much on
your plate. It will blow over, I know it will.”
I felt my heart break for her so much that it was slowly

turning into rage.
Nombulelo: “Who’s bullying you and what do they say

to you?”
Millicent: “It’s just another girl in another grade, a

higher grade. She tells me that I look nothing like you
and how I look white and retarded. She says that my
sister is a convict and I will end up like her. I have had
to block her from commenting on my YouTube
channel.”
Page 1516 of 1871

I could tell she had been keeping that a secret for
quite some time.
Nombulelo: “How long has this been going on?”
Millicent: “It’s been going on for quite some time –

since last year.”
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Why didn’t you say anything,

Millicent?!”
Millicent: “Like I said, you had a lot going on and I

didn’t want to bother anyone.”
Nombulelo: “Have you reported it?”
Millicent: (nodding) “I told the headmaster and she

told me to suck it up as I am not the only learner in
the school.”
I lost it right there. I knew she didn’t like me after all

the attention I had given them as a school but for her
to dismiss my sister’s needs like that was uncalled for.
Nombulelo: “She did what?! Let’s go.”
Page 1517 of 1871

Millicent: “Please, don’t cause a scene. I don’t want
them to bother me again.”
Nombulelo: “I am here to protect you, Millicent. If I

don’t do it – who will? Now, let’s go.”
I locked up fueled with rage. I didn’t even bother

getting into a taxi. When her bus stopped at the bus
stop I entered. I greeted the bus driver and he
responded with a bit of an attitude.
Bus driver: “Askies sesi (excuse me, sis), but this bus is
only for learners.”
I took out a R50 note and shoved it right into his hand.
Nombulelo: “I’m paying for this bus ride. I am also

going to the same school, now drive.”
He took it without saying anything further and drove

away. I could feel how anxious Millicent was and
when we finally arrived at her school and got off the
bus, I saw Millicent freeze a little when she saw a
Page 1518 of 1871

particular girl. She reminded me of my high school
bullies but they never bothered to try me.
Nombulelo: “Is that her?”
She nodded and I could not start a fight at that time

with a learner being an ex convict. I was surely going
to get arrested, so I just nodded to Millicent and held
her hand. We walked right past that skinny bitch and I
stared her right in the eye. She looked away quickly
because she could tell that I was family of Millicent. I
headed straight to the Headmaster’s office and found
the rude PA.
PA: “Good morning, how may I help you?”
I was in no mood to be nice.
Nombulelo: “I’m Nombulelo Makeba, I am here to see

the head master regarding my sister Millicent.”
The PA acted rather shocked to see me as if she didn’t

recognize me the moment I stood right before her.
Page 1519 of 1871

PA: (surprised) “Oh, it’s you?! I didn’t recognize you
there for a minute. How has life been after prison? It
must be so hard – “
I cut her off immediately.
Nombulelo: (interrupting) “Prison is prison. If you

want to know what it’s like, take a tour there one day.
I unfortunately didn’t come here to make memories,
is the head master here?”
PA: “Oh, well, how hostile of you. I will have to check

if she’s available – “
Nombulelo: “Her car is here and assembly hasn’t

started yet, I am pretty sure she is available to see me,
so I will see myself right through.”
PA: “No, you can’t just go in there!”
I walked right past her annoying face while holding

Millicent’s hand. I knocked twice before barging in
and I found her feeding her fat self just before
assembly. I could tell she wasn’t very happy to see
me at all.
Page 1520 of 1871

Headmaster: “What’s this?”
She was referring to the PA.
PA: “I tried to tell her not to come in, but she forced
her way past me.”
Headmaster: “It’s okay, you may leave.”
She left while I looked at her. The blasé look she had
on her face made me even angrier.
Headmaster: “Nombulelo Makeba. I thought I would

never see you ever again. How may I help you?”
Nomulelo: “My sister tells me that she reported a

case of bullying to you and you dismissed it. What the
fuck is that all about? Aren’t you supposed to protect
learners, especially girls in this school?”
Headmaster: “Oh, well, I wouldn’t say that I dismissed

her. I just told her that I had many cases and that I’d
deal with hers, she just needs to be patient.”
Page 1521 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Bullshit!”
Headmaster: “Excuse me?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t need to remind you what the

school policy says about bullying. I wonder what the
department of education will say about your conduct
and how you handle such cases.”
Headmaster: “No one will listen to an ex-convict.”
Nombulelo: “We’ll see about that.”
I took out my phone and I was about to record her.

She realized how serious I was and suddenly her tone
changed.
Headmaster: “Oh, come on, I didn’t mean it like that.

You just caught me on a very bad day.”
Nombulelo: “Headmaster, we all have bad days. It

seems to me that you are punishing my sister for my
sins. You are not a very good woman. You are to call
that bully right now.”
Page 1522 of 1871

Headmaster: “I can’t do that.”
Nombulelo: “Call her parents. I am not leaving until

you do so. I am a guardian of a learner at this school
who has come with a serious concern.”
She could see I wasn’t playing. She then called her PA

who came running.
Headmaster: “Call Annette’s parents please. Tell them

it’s urgent.”
PA: “Okay.”
Headmaster: “Well then, let me go and start

assembly. I will be right back.”
Nombulelo: “You are going nowhere. That’s why you

have deputies and grade heads. You might just call
the police on me and lie, so you are going nowhere.
Sit your fat ass down!”
She sat down and made an announcement that

assembly was canceled and that it was the first
period.
Page 1523 of 1871

Nombulelo: “While you’re at it, tell that rude bitch in
the foyer to start typing a transfer letter for Millicent.
You will sign it.”
She was starting to fidget. She had heard all sorts of

stories about me and made her own conclusion about
me. She just assumed that because I was charged, I
was roaming around with big guns killing people and
stealing cars and money, so I decided to roll with it. It
was pointless to try and make her think otherwise of
me. Within 15 minutes, Anette’s parents arrived. I
could hear a mild commotion in the foyer and then
they stormed into the Principal’s office.
Annette’s mom: “What’s this I hear that we’ve been

summoned urgently to the school, Headmaster?! I
don’t appreciate this.”
Annette’s dad: “I don’t think I need to remind you

how prestigious our family is. We are big donators to
this school.”
So that was the main reason why my sister’s cries

were not heard.
Page 1524 of 1871

Headmaster: “Mr and Mrs. Nichols, please calm
down. It’s not such a big issue but we can resolve it
today. I have Nombulelo here with me. She is the
sister of Millicent Makeba and she has reported a
case of bullying.”
They both looked so shocked and were ready to insult

and attack.
Annette’s mom: “This is just atrocious! My daughter

is of a high caliber and she would never do such a
thing!”
Nombulelo: “The two of you are clearly here to waste

my time. Headmaster, call that girl over the intercom
so she can come here.”
Annette’s dad: “Yes, let her come here right this

instant. She will not be vilified by such people.”
Nombulelo: “Do define the term ‘such people’? Did

you mean black people?”
Page 1525 of 1871

Annette’s dad: “Oh, please. You people always make
everything racial in this country.”
My blood was boiling. Their condescending nature

would have sent me straight back to prison. I sat
there and acted calmly until the Annette girl walked
in. She was quite tall, and looked like a giant
compared to Millicent. I could only imagine what she
had been doing to my sister. She looked to my side
and when she noticed Millicent, she could tell that I
was there for a case against her.
Headmaster: “Annette, thank you so much for

coming. There has been a complaint laid by Millicent
Makeba. She says you have been bullying her. Is that
correct?”
She was even being asked if it was correct or not. My

sister was subjected to such humiliation, and I
couldn’t help but feel it was all because of me.
Annette: “I would never do such a thing, ma’am. I

mean, I am not even in the same grade as her.”
She looked at Millicent.
Page 1526 of 1871

Annette: “Millicent, do I bully you? Do I?”
I felt that was such a waste of my time so I stood up

and looked at the three of them. They were a bit
scared because my eyes were probably bewildered.
Nombulelo: “I want you all to look at me and never

forget this face. I had said I didn’t come to make
memories initially, but it I want it to be a memorable
day for the three of you.”
The father wanted to speak first and rebel but I

punched him so hard that he fell right back on the
couch. He was about to get back up but I punched
the other side again. The Headmaster was shouting,
but I didn’t care. I then turned to the mother and
slapped her quite a few times. I then leaned forward
towards Annette and stared her right in the eye. She
was so scared, she probably wet herself.
Nombulelo: “I want you to repeat those words you

have been telling my sister from last year to me –
right now.”
Page 1527 of 1871

Annette: “Which words?”
I slapped her so hard that she cried.
Nombulelo: “This person you see right here – the

convict you always bully her about, is her sister! You
two, you waltz in here as if you own the school
whereas it’s a fucking government school! Your
contribution here does not give your daughter the
right to attack and bully my sister. I won’t take this
lightly. I dare you to go and open a case, I am a
gangster in case you thought it was a lie. Yes, I shoot
and kill people for a living. My sister won’t be coming
back here but let it be a lesson to you all. If I hear of
another bullying case from this school I promise you
all, I will come guns blazing and only Lord knows what
I would do. Are we clear?!”
The three of them nodded while the Headmaster just

stared at me in shock.
Nombulelo: “My name is Nombulelo Makeba in case

you don’t know. Google me.”
Page 1528 of 1871

I grabbed the transfer letter straight from the
headmaster’s hands and let with Millicent. She was
very quiet and a part of me felt so relieved that I got
that problem out of the way. It really hurt me to see
her going through so much all alone. I vowed to take
care of her yet I was in prison. I could only imagine
what would have happened to her. Despite all the
good schools around Boksburg and Wattville, it was
going to be so difficult finding her a good school
where she would not be bullied since everyone knew
me. The entire taxi ride was rather quiet for the both
of us. The moment we walked into the house, she felt
the need to ask me a pressing question.
Millicent: “Am I going to go back there?”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “No, you’re not going back

there.”
Millicent: “What are we going to do?”
Nombulelo: “Leave that to me. I will find you a good

school – an even better one. I promise.”
Page 1529 of 1871

I had yet another problem on my hands, finding
Millicent a good school and possibly a private school.
My head just started throbbing from all the
overthinking. I only realized that I had countless
missed calls from Priscilla and Thato once I finally
checked my phone. I decided to return Priscilla’s calls
first.
Priscilla: “Hey, finally you answered.”
Nombulelo: “What’s up? I was caught up.”
Priscilla: “Where were you? I was at your house this

morning and you weren’t home.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “I had to sort something out at

Millicent’s school.”
Priscilla: “Is there a problem?”
Nombulelo: “I’ll tell you once you get here.”
Priscilla: “Sure, I was at the mall, I am on my way to

you now.”
Page 1530 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Cool, bye.”
I hung up and returned Thato’s calls.
Thato: “Hawu (goodness) Gangster queen. Are you

tired of me already?”
Nombulelo: “No, no, that could not happen. I was

held up at my sister’s school this morning. I am sorry I
couldn’t answer your calls.”
Thato : “Okay, is everything alright? You seem a bit

down.”
Nombulelo: “It’s nothing serious, I just have to find

her a new school.”
Thato: “Okay, shout if you need help or someone to

talk to, okay?”
Nombulelo: “Okay, I will do that.”
Thato: “I’ll speak to you later. Bye.”
Page 1531 of 1871

I hung up and lay my head on the dining table. Why
could I never catch a damn break? I could feel the
onset of tears but I refused to cry just in case Millicent
came out of her room and found me crying. Priscilla
arrived and I was just so glad to see her.
Priscilla: “Hey boo.”
Priscilla: “You seem down. What’s up?”
We went outside and I explained everything that

happened to her. My eyes felt so hot as if my tears
were burning me. I hadn’t cried much in front of her
but I felt so overwhelmed that day.
Priscilla: “Listen, I would have done the same. She

should actually be exposed and reported. Poor
Millicent.”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I just feel like the problems in my life

just never end. Why do I have to endure so much
hardship?”
Page 1532 of 1871

Priscilla: “Because no road that’s worth it has ever
come easy, babe. Believe me, your time is coming.”
Nombulelo: “I’m so stressed, I feel like dying at times.

Perhaps I should just take Alfred on his offer and take
his money. I’d rather sacrifice myself so that she can
be okay.”
Priscilla: “You’ll do no such thing. We started this

together, how can you possibly want to quit now?”
Nombulelo: “Because I just have way too much

baggage, my friend. I can’t deal with this any more.
First we used all our savings for Hannah and even that
is still not enough. Her treatment is ongoing and the
bitch who caused that is probably living her best life
out there.”
Priscilla: “We’ll get through this. Listen, we are going

to find Millicent a private school first thing tomorrow,
it would even be best for her to be in boarding school
for now. You and I are going to focus on our hustle.
Aeysha called me.”
Nombulelo: “Who’s Aeysha?”
Page 1533 of 1871

Priscilla: “Our new yellow bone protégé. She is ready
to work with us and we’ll be meeting with her
officially today.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “I just hope that we can get

everything that we need.”
Priscilla: “Listen, everything will be just fine. If it

backfires, we can always do card cloning.”
Nombulelo: “And go back to prison?”
Priscilla: “Only if we get caught. Come on, go freshen

up so we can meet our new Queen Bee.”
I went to the bathroom to freshen up and we waited

for Aeysha to arrive. Priscilla was on the phone
making moves for a while as I was just trying to
swallow my problems one by one.
Priscilla: “So listen, I managed to speak to a contact of

mine. He said he is willing to organize us a liquor
license as soon as possible. There’s only one
problem.”
Page 1534 of 1871

Priscilla: “We don’t have enough money for a new

venue, so we will have to open the tavern here.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Is there on other option?”
Priscilla: (shaking head) “No, love. Remember the

bulk of the money has to go to Millicent’s new
school. Have you spoken to her about going to
boarding school yet?”
Nombulelo: “I haven’t had the time, I mean she is still

going through a lot.”
Priscilla: “She’ll be fine. There won’t be any

distractions there and we can run the tavern in peace
here. Once we have acquired enough funds, we will
turn it into a proper bar. What do you say?”
I was keen and I didn’t have a choice. The bulk of our

money had gone towards my siblings a
Chapter 66
Page 1535 of 1871

Corinthians 16:4 – “Let all that you do be done in
love.”
Every ball we could have thought of was set in

motion. We freshened up and pulled out our best
outfits and headed to the club we initially thought of.
Our crimes were not limited, but we had never done
what Aeysha was good at – drugging blessers. We
booked our own table along with Grilla and sat there.
I still had to deal with my anxiety of being around
crowds of people. I still needed to get used to that. It
was so noisy and reaked of cigarette smoke
everywhere. I had to block it all out and focus on my
goal that evening. Grilla was dressed much like
herself, she was used to wearing jeans and loved Polo
Tshirts. Clearly she shopped at the men’s aisle only. I
loved the fact that she stuck to her true self and never
felt the need to conform. She might have looked like
a lesbian but she was very much straight. Aeysha
walked in not so long after we had arrived. As we
expected, all eyes were on her and her new blesser,
and to our surprise it was a well known business man.
Grilla: “Ekse (hey), how are you going to pull it off?

That guy is famous.”
Page 1536 of 1871
Priscilla and I knew that it was our first night doing
that, so we needed to befriend all security guards in
all the places we were heading to.
Nombulelo: “The cameras aren’t a problem, P has

that covered. We’ll have to bribe the guards
somehow.”
Grilla: “Or we can simply take them out.”
Priscilla: “Wa gafa wena (are you mad)? We don’t kill

here – not unless we have to. That will only put more
heat on us.”
Nombulelo: “Let’s be one step ahead. Find out where

the guy lives. You can do that, can’t you?”
Priscilla: “Sure.”
She made a few calls and searches and found out

within 10 minutes where he stayed, at a nearby
townhouse with good security.
Page 1537 of 1871

Nombulelo: “This is going to be tough. We are going
to need another car in order to soften those guards.”
Grilla: “I can make a few calls.”
Nombulelo: “No stolen cars, please.”
Grilla: “Sho sho (sure sure).”
She made a few calls and within half an hour, the car
arrived. We gave her some cash.
Priscilla: “Make sure you do as we have discussed.

We just want to get there, take what we can and leave
within half an hour. Got it?”
Grilla: “Sure.”
I was a little hesitant on trusting Grilla with such a big

job, I mean it was the first time that we were doing a
job with her.
Nombulelo: “Won’t she mess up though?”
Page 1538 of 1871

Priscilla: “We’ll only know once we arrive at the man’s
place.”
Aeysha’s blesser was on a roll. It really upset me

seeing men treat young girls like Aeysha like sex
objects. He was all over her. Instead of rather
uplifting her or paying for her fees, he chose to use
her for sex and buy her drinks. He gave her his card
and she went to the bathroom, where she would
meet Priscilla. She quickly cloned the card and
handed the original card back to Aeysha. After she
bought drinks, she managed to spike him the only
way she was used to. He was much bigger than the
first tycoon we saw her with, so he most probably
needed a better dose. Instead of cocaine, we gave
her something else to use; eyedrops. They can drug a
person in minutes and make them sleepy. It wasn’t
such a hectic substance like drugs. And as we
expected, he started feeling extremely woozy, which
meant that Aeysha would have had to drive him.
Once Priscilla and I were right behind her, we all drove
off to his house. Just before we reached the gate, we
noticed the car that Grilla had hired. We parked
Priscilla’s car just outside the complex and got into the
man’s car as well. I was a bit nervous when we
Page 1539 of 1871
reached the gate, but once we saw Grilla in the other
car, she winked at us so we knew we were good to
go. We greeted the security guards who were more
than willing to assist us.
Guard: “Eh banna (Wow), le mo nwisitseng se se kana

le gono (what did you give him to drink tonight)? He
never drinks so much.”
Aeysha: “Ag, sometimes these old men tend to have

way more fun than necessary, malome (uncle).”
She punched in the entrance code and off we went.

It didn’t take long to find his house. He had the best
furniture money could buy. We obviously couldn’t
leave with so much furniture, we didn’t have a big
enough car. It was a bit of a loss for us, so we took
small items such as jewelry and money that was lying
around. We left him right in his bed, unharmed and
we left. Grilla was in Priscilla’s car by then and we
greeted the guards farewell. It seemed as if Aeysha
had never thought so far whenever she was doing
such because she was ecstatic when we drove home.
Page 1540 of 1871

Aeysha: (excitedly) “I’ve never felt so good in my
entire life! That was so awesome! When are we
doing it again?!”
I wasn’t about to go back to prison – not for
something that petty.
Nombulelo: “Slow down, you don’t do such things

every night. For now, we lie low and see if he will
notice anything. He’s well-known and don’t let your
guard down. He might call you tomorrow morning.
For now, we all go home. We will sell this shit in a few
days.”
And so we all went back to our homes and waited for

Aeysha to update us. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be
a gangster forever, but the thrill was just too
addictive. I was mostly doing what I was doing to
support my siblings. The funny thing about being an
automatic bread winner is that we always have a
choice, but at the end of the day no one asked me to
do it. While I had just changed into my pajamas, I
received a call from Thato. I had completely forgot
how I was avoiding him all day. It wasn’t because I
didn’t like him – no, but it was because I knew deep
down we were just too incompatible. I just knew it
Page 1541 of 1871
wasn’t going to work out. I answered the phone and
he seemed rather relieved that I did.
Thato: (deep sigh) “Finally, you answered. For a

moment there I was convinced that you weren’t
going to.”
Nombulelo: “Sorry about that, I’ve been busy.”
Thato: “I gathered, are you free now?”
Nombulelo: “Uh, yes. What’s up?”
Thato: “Please don’t be mad at me, but I am outside.”
My heart nearly flung right out of my chest.
Nombulelo: “Outside where?”
Thato: “Outside your house. I’m in my car. Do you

mind coming out?”
Page 1542 of 1871

I was already living alone since Nairobi had gone
gung-ho on me, and ever since Alfred’s weird threats,
I didn’t want to be seen outside in someone’s car. I
must have been silently contemplating my choices.
Thato: “Hey, are you still there?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I’m sorry, you just caught me off

guard.”
Thato: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to just pop by

unannounced. I just brought you something, I won’t
take too long.”
I felt a little bad, he had come all the way from

Boksburg and it was not going to be right of me to just
let him go back.
Nombulelo: “Do you mind parking your car inside the

yard? I don’t think it’s safe for us to chill in your car at
this time of the night.”
Thato: (excitedly) “Sure, I don’t mind.”
Nombulelo: “I’ll open for you.”

Page 1543 of 1871
The nice thing about my bedroom window was that I
could see everything and everyone right outside the
gate from there. I saw he had been standing outside
his car. The guts he had, he had no idea just how
dangerous it got at night. I got dressed in my robe
since I didn’t get the chance to change into my
pajamas, and rushed to open the gate for him. It was
raining slightly but it wasn’t so bad at all. I noticed he
had a brand new car; a VW Golf 7 in royal blue even. I
loved that car so much, even Alfred knew that. It
didn’t even have a number plate, so I could have
imagined us getting hijacked just outside my house.
He drove in and parked. When he got out, I felt those
little goosebumps all over again. I could smell him all
the way from where I was standing, about 2 metres
away from him. He always dressed well – no matter
the occasion. He still had an arm cast though but
looked like he wanted to carry things out of his car as
he opened the back door in that rain. I didn’t even
think of getting an Umbrella from the house. At times
I do think I was just a little too ghetto.
Nombulelo: “Do you need help with those things?”
Page 1544 of 1871

Thato: (smiling) “It’s okay, I’m a man. I can carry them
myself.”
Nombulelo: “Have you forgotten about your arm?”
Thato: (smiling) “Please do sit in the house before you

catch a cold. I’ll be right there.”
I just stood in the lounge and watched him carry in

dozens of rose bunches in all sorts of different shades,
as well as a bunch of white lilies and a bunch of
sunflowers. I was very surprised and actually
intrigued. Rose bunches cost a fortune and he
brought in around 14 or 15 of them. After the last
three rose bunches he brought in I assumed it was
the last time he had to go to the car, but he went
back. I finally heard him close the car door and walk
in with a big paper bag. He put them on the coffee
table and smiled at me. The more I saw of him, the
cuter he looked.
Thato: (smiling) “How are you?”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “I’m okay, how are you?”
Page 1545 of 1871

Thato: “I’m fine now that you finally answered my
calls.”
I felt a little bad about that and to top it all off he was
soaked from the rain.
Nombulelo: “Uh, let me get you a towel before you

catch a cold.”
I rushed to the bathroom and grabbed a towel from

the stand and handed it to him.
Thato: (smiling) “Thank you.”

I put another one on the couch so that we could sit
down. Just as I was about to sit on the couch, he
gently pulled me back up.
Thato: “Before we sit down, do you mind me

explaining the meanings of all these roses I brought
for you?”
Page 1546 of 1871

He stood right behind me and I was slightly taller than
him but he was not intimidated by that at all. He
gently put his hands on each side of my waist.
Thato: “I wanted to give you something meaningful

although I know that flowers aren’t really your thing. I
thought of asking the florist to pack one of each
flower in a bunch for you but that wouldn’t be unique
at all. So, let’s start with every woman’s favourite and
the most used cliché of them all; red roses. Red roses
reperesent love, beauty, courage, respect and lastly
passion. White roses reperent purity, innocence,
youthfulness and sympathy. Red and white together
represent and signify unity. Yellow roses represent
joy, friendship and are mostly used to welcome
people back from certain places. Orange roses signify
desire, enthusiasm, creativity and fascination. Pink
roses repreent appreciated, perfect happiness and
grace. Lavender roses represent love at first sight and
enchantment. Blue roses signify the unattainable, the
impossible. And lastly, coral roses represent desire.”
I heard more of the word ‘desire’ than anything else in

what he said. He moved on to the last two flower
bunches.
Page 1547 of 1871
Thato: “White lilies are my particular favourite. They
signify purity, beauty, innonence and salvation.”
As soon as I heard the word ‘salavation’ I nearly rolled

my eyes because I thought he was going to start with
yet another Bible verse but he surprised me.
Thato: “And lastly – sunflowers. They symbolize truth,

goodness, honesty and compassion.”
I felt like there was a particular reason why he left

sunflowers for last. Shit, I was not a very truthful
person – more especially towards him, that’s for sure.
I felt my heart beat a lot faster than usual. I started
feeling a sense of guilt all over again. I felt his warm
breath on my right shoulder, I knew then he was
standing at a much closer range towards me.
Thato: “I didn’t just buy these flowers out of

boredom. I was hoping you’d see the beauty in life –
in yourself the way I do. I’d like you to smell and
water these flowers each and every day. They will
speak to you. You will find your favourite in one of
them. Whenever you feel down, I would like you to
Page 1548 of 1871
think of them. They blossom without effort. All they
need is being watered and some sunlight. Those two
basics they need together with your time amount to
love. I guess what I am trying to say is that if you pay
enough attention to something and give it love, it will
eventually be in your favour; it will blossom into
something beautiful, much like these flowers.”
He spoke with so much care and affection. Each time

his face nearly came close to mine, I just couldn’t
allow myself to give in and kiss him. I moved away
and derailed a bit from the topic.
Nombulelo: “You must be quite cold. Let me go get

the heater for you.”
He was about to protest but I went anyway. I went

straight to my bedroom to take a breather. I could
feel my entire body shaking, starting from the bottom
of my feet all the way up to my shoulders. “What the
fuck is happening to me?” I thought to myself.
Nombulelo: (whispering softly) “Get your shit

together, Nombulelo.”
Page 1549 of 1871

I took a few deep breaths and managed to get the
heater. By the time I went back to the lounge, I found
he had already placed the food he bought on the
coffee table.
Thato: “I brought a little bit of everything since I don’t

really know what you might like. I even got you some
non-alcoholic champagne and orange juice.”
Nombulelo: “Hmm, champagne? What are we

celebrating?”
Thato: “You don’t need a reason to celebrate a good

day, my mother taught me that.”
He smiled at me and I plugged in the heater and sat

next to him. He prayed for the food before we started
eating, typical Thato. I didn’t think he would go in so
much depth with the prayer, but he did.
Thato: “Can we please bless the food?”
Page 1550 of 1871

I felt a little embarrassed. I had never been
embarrassed about not praying before, but he just
brought that out of me.
Thato: (clearing throat) “Dear God, I humble myself

before you. I thank you so much for a brand new day.
I thank you for the life we have today, for the food we
are about to consume and most importantly for this
lovely girl I have just met. Sure, she is quite eccentric
and I love that about her. I thank you so much for
answering my prayers. I will be forever grateful for
that. In Christ our savior, amen.”
The moment he said ‘Amen’ I removed my hands

quickly from him. No one had ever made me feel that
nervous before – no one. It became a lot harder to
look him in the eye. I wasn’t as fierce with him as I
was with Alfred. He knew how to calm me down. I
couldn’t remember the last time I had such a peaceful
time with the opposite sex. We really gelled and
actually had a lot in common. I enjoyed reading a lot,
apart from my extra curricular activities, while he
enjoyed the same. His most favourite hobby was
drawing and painting. He showed me a lot of his
Page 1551 of 1871

drawings from his phone pictures and I was absolutely
impressed.
Nombulelo: “You don’t seem like the typical artist to

me – to anyone actually.”
Thato: “And how do artists look exactly?”
Nombulelo: “You know, the weird hairstyles and over

the top attire and always have a little drawing book
and pencil with them.”
Thato: (laughing) “Well, looks can very well be

deceiving. For instance, you don’t look dangerous
yourself and I absolutely love that about you.”
The word ‘dangerous’ triggered me. It felt as if he

knew something about me. I hadn’t told him the
exact truth about my past and current life at that
time.
Nombulelo: (nervously) “What do you mean I look

dangerous?”
Page 1552 of 1871

Thato: “You can’t possibly tell me you forgot all about
my wallet, do you?”
Nombulelo: (blushing) “I really have to make up for

that, don’t I?”
Thato: “Oh, no, not at all. You can make up for it by

going on as many dates with me as possible.”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Okay then. Consider it a

deal.”
Thato: “Good then. Which means on that note, you

agree to avail yourself for whatever I have planned for
you on your birthday.”
Nombulelo: “My birthday? It’s only in a few weeks.”
Thato: “Three weeks and 2 days to be precise.”
Nombulelo: “Have you been counting?”
Thato: (smiling) “Actually, I have.”
He really made me feel quite special.
Page 1553 of 1871

Thato: “There is just something I have been dying to
do ever since I first met you.”
Nombulelo: “Which is?”
He caught me off guard.
Thato: “This.”
He just gently pulled my chin closer to his face and

kissed me without warning. We were right on the
floor with the blanket covering our legs. Before him I
thought that Alfred was the best kisser, oh, but I was
so wrong – dead wrong. His lips were the softest I
had ever touched, his tongue was the best tasting
tongue I had ever tasted. With each time our lips
met, I felt my body ease up and follow his pattern. I
don’t know, perhaps it really was due to the dry spell,
but Thato was just using my body as an instrument. I
could feel myself overheat and I pulled out of the kiss.
Thato: “I’m sorry, did I overstep?”
Nombulelo: (flushed) “No, no, it’s just that…”

Page 1554 of 1871
Thato: “It’s just what?”
I quickly got up because my entire body felt so weak.
Nombulelo: “I… I just feel so weird. I don’t want to do

something that we both might regret tomorrow.”
Thato: (softly) “But allow your body to feel whatever it

wants you to feel. I just want to be intimate with you
– I don’t want to have sex with you. Believe me, I
would love to, but not now. Just relax and trust me,
can you do that?”
Trusting a man was one thing I didn’t like doing, but

he made it seem so effortless so I just nodded. He
pulled me towards him gently and placed me right
back onto the floor and kissed me all over again. He
was on top of me and I could look right in his eyes.
They were so shiny and his pupils were dilated. When
he started kissing me on my neck, I could feel my
vagina responding. I couldn’t remember the last time
my clitoris was vibrating like that. I involuntarily
opened my legs and he placed himself right in
Page 1555 of 1871

between them. He wanted to take off my shirt, but I
stopped and stared at him for a while.
Thato: “Do you trust me?”
It felt like a trick question. Of course I was going to

say yes, so I nodded. He continued kissing me and
gently cupping my breasts while they were inside of
my bra. He gently removed my bra and there I was –
naked right in front of another man in my life. He
stopped and stared at them and then looked at me.
Thato: “Do you know just how beautiful you are?”
I blushed and looked away. He kissed my neck and

sucked gently on my nipples. My breathing started
changing its rhythm while my entire body felt like it
was becoming warmer by the minute. He kissed me
all the way down my stomach until he got to my
crotch. I was completely naked in front of Thato. I felt
so weird but so good at the same time. He gently
spead my legs further apart and I felt his warm
tongue flicker on my clitoris. With every tongue
flicking movement, I felt my body twitch in pleasure.
Alfred had done that to me a few times but it never
Page 1556 of 1871
felt so good. I’d always hear Priscilla speak of how
different guys were but that was my first ever real
experience. I enjoyed myself so much
Chapter 67
James 1:15 – “Then desire when it has conceived
gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings
forth death.”
That very day, I could feel myself fuelled with anger. I
ignored all the stares and glares from people in the
street. They looked at me like I was a ravenous wolf
that had just gone hunting. I was not bothered
though; my main focus was getting back at Alfred. I
had let him mess with me for far too long. The instant
I got into the house, I didn’t even think of getting rid
of the blood I had all over me including in my mouth. I
called Priscilla who answered almost on the first ring.
Priscilla: “Hey, miss me already?”
Nombulelo: “Where are you? I need you to take me
somewhere.”
Priscilla: “I’m at home, I’ll be there in a few.”
She hung up while I sat down and browsed through
my phone looking for all the messages Alfred had
been sending me. Once I found all the proof I needed,
Priscilla walked in. She got the shock of her life when
she saw my bloodied self.
Page 1557 of 1871

Priscilla: (shocked) “Oh, my goodness, Nombulelo!
What happened to you?!”
Nombulelo: “I’ll explain on the way, can you drive me
somewhere?”
Priscilla: “We’re not going anywhere until you explain
what happened. And then you have to change those
clothes.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Where do I start?”
Priscilla: “The beginning would be nice. Calm down
and start explaining.”
I sighed deeply and started explaining everything. She
was shocked and then her shocked turned into anger,
the same anger that matched mine.
Priscilla: (angrily) “Fuck Alfred! Why didn’t you tell me
he still continued with his threats, Lelo?!”
Nombulelo: “I didn’t think he’d go this far.”
Priscilla: “Let’s go. First we’re going to pay the
motherfucker a visit. Then we will go see Nkuna, he is
now in charge of the police station. Then. It’s high
time we dealt with him once and for all.”
I changed into a clean outfit and left Millicent at
home. She was quite startled after what happened, so
I instructed her to lock herself in, including the gate. I
got Grilla to keep an eye on the house for me, just in
case something else happened while I was gone. We
Page 1558 of 1871

drove to the prison and was told that visiting hours
were over, but as Priscilla always said, she knew
someone who knew someone. It only took a few 100
bucks to get them to allow us in. For someone who
had so many people on his payroll, it was quite easy
for us to see Alfred. We waited in their visiting area.
He walked in wide smiled with shackles on. The
moment he saw me, his smile slowly faded away. He
most probably thought I’d be in hospital or dead by
then. The warder wanted to remove his shackles from
him, but I begged him not to.
Nombulelo: “Warden, please do not remove those
shackles, he might just attack us.”
He did as we told him and Alfred sat right across me.
Alfred: “Why are you here?”
Nombulelo: “Isn’t it obvious? I made it out alive after
your little fucked up stunt.?”
Alfred: “Oh, so you came to brag?”
Nombulelo: “No, I came to tell you that your little
stunts end here. You have messed with the wrong girl,
Alfred. Don’t you forget that I know your weakness. I
know which spots to hit. You honestly hired men to
rape me?! You must be so insane.”
Alfred: (angrily) “You think that little boy can sustain
you? He’d better tell you whose son he is.”
Page 1559 of 1871

I thought he wanted to test me and drag the entire
situation so I didn’t even pay attention to what he
said.
Nombulelo: “I see now, you’ve become too used to
this place. You will know how I deal with the likes of
you.”
I got up and took one last look at him.
Nombulelo: “You should check on those guys you
sent. One of them might not even be able to listen to
your calls anymore since he’s lost both his ears.”
That quickly got his attention. The moment we turned
around and started walking away, his entire façade
faded. All the confidence disappeared and he showed
me his true feelings.
Alfred: (angrily) “You don’t know me, Nombulelo! I
gave you everything, everything! You will reap what
you sow! As for you, Priscilla, Diesel will hear about
this! Entlek (actually) fuck you – fuck both of you!”
I left him ranting just like that. I had got him right
where I wanted. My next stop was the police station. I
found a sergeant on duty there and immediately
stated my case.
Nombulelo: “Hello, may I please speak to Nkuna?”
Sargeant: (frowning) “Who are you calling him by his
name like that?”
Page 1560 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Tell him Nombulelo Makeba is looking
for him. It’s urgent.”
For some reason she tried to match the name to the
face. It was as if she heard about me. She immediately
sent someone else to go call him while she was
analysing me. Not once did I remove my eyes from
hers. When she was eyeing me, I did the same. When
she served attitude, I did the same. Nkuna came in an
instant.
Nkuna: (smiling) “Nombulelo, come through to my
office.”
He had gotten a promotion as the station commander
yet he was as humble as before with the same inviting
smile. Priscilla was with me all the way. We walked
into his office and sat down.
Nkuna: “How can I assist you?”
Nombulelo: “Alfred Skosana has been threatening me
from behind bars.”
Nkuna: (sigh) “It seems as if he hasn’t stopped his
shady dealings. It’s been quite hard trying to pin
anything on him. Those warders are so corrupt.”
Nombulelo: “I have just the proof you need.”
I showed him all the messages and I could see the
satisfactory smile on his face.
Page 1561 of 1871

Nkuna: “Thank you so much for this. I’ve been waiting
for something to nail him – at least for him to get a
transfer.”
That’s exactly what I was hoping for – for him to be
transferred to another prison.
Priscilla: “So, you can get it done?”
Nkuna: (nodding) “Today even. It won’t be hard. I will
just forward this evidence to all the necessary
people.”
Priscilla: “What about Diesel? I mean Alfred
mentioned something about him.”
Nkuna: “I will make sure they get transferred to
different prisons – far away from one another. Rest
assured, they won’t bother either of you ever again.”
I was satisfied with what he said and I believed he
would do the right thing. I heard that Jerry was
investigated and fired for conducting an investigation
illegally along with his girlfriend or wife Matshidiso. I
was just happy that he was no longer in charge. His
shoes were getting way too big for him. I was about to
leave the police station when Nkuna stopped us.
Nkuna: “Oh, Nombulelo, before you leave I’d just like
to ask; are you not going to press charges against the
guys who did that to you?”
Page 1562 of 1871

I hadn’t really told him that Alfred had organized guys
to rape me.
Nombulelo: (frowning) “The guys who did what?”
Nkuna: “You know very well what I am talking about.
This is a small town and everyone knows what
happened. Have you forgotten that we get called
whenever suspicious people get admitted in
hospital?”
Nombulelo: “Oh, well, no, I’m not going to press any
charges.”
Nkuna: “Well, they are still in hospital in case you
change your mind. You did quite some damage to the
one who lost his penis. Good riddance.”
I laughed and greeted him goodbye. I was very
relieved to know that Alfred would be dealt with, it
was only a matter of time really. I got into the car with
Priscilla and felt so relieved. I never took the time to
comprehend what had happened. Millicent witnessed
me in such a messy state.
Nombulelo: “No, I don’t even know. I guess I will be in
due time.”
Priscilla nodded and we drove off. Life didn’t stop
there, we had to start preparing the final touches for
the tavern’s grand opening. I went home to check on
Page 1563 of 1871

Millicent and she seemed alright. She was in her room
already busy with her YouTube channel so I let her be.
I had been ignoring Thato’s phone calls for a very
good reason. I was busy for one and I always had
doubts after he left, as if we just wouldn’t really work
out. I changed into a simple jean and top with
sneakers. I had to be busy and I knew that we were
going to be up and down. Priscilla and I were going to
take turns with the cooking and dealing with the cash
while Aeysha would be the waitress in case anyone
needed anything, plus she was catching to the eye
and that would have attracted a lot of customers.
Grilla was our security and she was very happy with
that. She enjoyed watching the camera screens and
dealing with disrespectful people. She was also very
strict about the age of our customers, so she had to
check IDs each and every time someone walked in.
We had sent out posters all over social media alerting
them of my new tavern. I was excited because it was
my means of making money for my siblings. I wasn’t
going to be a shebeen queen forever, just for long
enough until they were all grown up to take care of
themselves. I looked at myself one last time in the
mirror before leaving. I was very stunned to see a
reflection of my grandmother. I looked behind me and
Page 1564 of 1871

she was gone. I felt those cold chills down my spine all
over again. She didn’t seem very happy, yet she was
quite a bubbly soul. I thought it was all in my mind, so
I went about my day. Priscilla was already inside
waiting for me along with Ayesha and Grilla.
Nombulelo: (smiling) “Hey, guys. Why are you waiting
for me like this?”
Priscilla: “We cannot start the day without celebrating
our big moment fully.”
She had a bottle of champagne – veuve Cliquot on
the table behind her with four champagne glasses.
Grilla: “Let me open that.”
Priscilla: “Not so fast - we cannot start a day without
prayer. I know how the three of you feel about praying
so I will do it.”
She meant well, I knew that so I gave her the platform
and nodded. We held hands together and she started.
Priscilla: “Dear God, we humble ourselves before you.
We thank you so much for this wonderful day, but
most importantly we thank you for making this
happen for us. As once said, You help those who help
themselves. We have fought long and hard to make
means for ourselves in order to provide for our
families. We know, we haven’t used the most
convenient and orthodox ways to get hold of the
Page 1565 of 1871

money we got to establish this, we also know how
you feel about drunkards and taverns but grant us this
time to do this for ourselves. We pray that you protect
us during this time. In Jesus’ Mighty Name. Amen.”
Nombulelo: “Amen, thank you, friend. That was very
powerful, I suppose.”
Priscilla: (smiling) “Of course.”
Grilla: “Now can I open the bottle?”
We all laughed at her.
Priscilla: “Sure, but don’t pour too much for Lelo, she
doesn’t drink hey.”
She poured some for us after popping the bottle and
Priscilla toasted.
Priscilla: “A toast – to beautiful friendships and many,
many more endeavours to come!”
All of us: “Cheers!”
I took a little sip as they all knew I didn’t like alcohol.
We started playing some music inside the tavern
while I started cooking. I didn’t want to cook too many
varieties nor too much in case not many people
wanted to eat. I was still the ex-convict in some
people’s eyes. To my surprise, around five customers
came in first. They ordered some drinks from Aeysha
and paid. After around thirty minutes when we were
just about to lose hope, we got the shock of our lives
Page 1566 of 1871

when around 20 more flocked our place. They
ordered food and drinks and by the time they had
finished eating, my food was finished. I had to start
yet another pot of pap and beef stew along with
grilled chicken. I only served that. There was no use
for salads because most people were drinkers any
way. I could see that majority of them came to see
how it looked inside and asked themselves how I
managed to get it right, but I wasn’t bothered. We
were making money and that was the important part.
The highlight of my day came when I saw a customer I
never thought would ever make it there. He sat in a
far away corner from the counter and looked like he
was disguised. He ordered a Castle Lite and still had
his hat and sunglasses on. I didn’t like such characters
due to my past and with Alfred having people
roaming around, I didn’t want to take chances. So, I
walked towards him.
Nombulelo: (smiling) “Good day, sir. Are you enjoying
yourself? Is there anything I can do for you?”
Man: (shaking head) “No, thank you.”
Nombulelo: “May I ask why you’re disguised? We
don’t take lightly to people being dressed like that in
here.”
Page 1567 of 1871

I seemed to have offended him but his voice sounded
very familiar. He stood up angrily without even
finishing his beer.
Man: (angrily) “Well, if you don’t like my presence
then perhaps I should leave!”
I found myself grabbing his arms so roughly despite
him being a lot taller than me. The moment he
thought of retaliating, his sunglasses fell off and I
nearly died right there.
Nombulelo: (shocked) “Chauke?!”
He released himself forcibly from my grip and
grabbed his sunglasses from the table and rushed out.
He was thin, a lot thinner than I expected him to be. I
had heard stories that he wasn’t doing so good and
that his church was losing a lot of members, but I
never expected him to look like that. I was asking
myself what exactly he had come to do, but I didn’t
really care. All I knew was that if he could walk in and
have a drink, he would be back soon. I went about my
day and had no further mishaps.
Chauke had just brought unnecessary and unpleasant
memories back to me just by his presence alone. It
was no child’s play to run a tavern all day hence
Priscilla and I were there to assist one another. Every
now and then I checked on Millicent in the house, and
Page 1568 of 1871

she was just fine. I felt like I had everything under
control; Millicent seemed a lot happier and at peace
at her new school, the twins were flourishing while
being raised by Priscilla’s mom and I was getting back
on my feet. There was still no sign of Nairobi ever
coming back home and little did I know what was in
store for me. We opened around 11am and closed at
9pm on our first night. It was really hectic for me. I felt
so tired. All I wanted to do was get in bed after our
long shift. Just as I was about to lock the gate after
everyone had left, Thato arrived. He got out of the car
and looked quite concerned.
Thato: “Hi.”
I felt so bad all over again. I knew he had been calling
and texting me all day yet I wasn’t giving him
attention. I wasn’t even decent enough to text him
back.
Nombulelo: “Eish (oh), Thato, please forgive me. I’ve
been so busy and – “
Thato: (interjecting) “It’s okay, I know.”
He didn’t look upset at all which I found quite weird.
He was a calm guy but it still wasn’t very nice of me to
ignore him like that.”
Thato: “May I come in?”
Page 1569 of 1871

I thought of Millicent who was in the house.
Nombulelo: “Eish (oh) my sister is in the house.”
Thato: “I just want to talk to you. I know you’ve been
busy and I don’t want to impose. But if you really
can’t, I understand. We can do it some other time.”
He looked like he was about to leave, making me feel
even worse.
Nombulelo: “No, wait. Don’t leave. I didn’t mean it
like that. Come in, I’ll talk to her.”
Thato: “Are you sure?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, come.”
He walked in and I politely asked him to sit down and
wait for me in the lounge of which he did without
complaining. I headed straight to Millicent’s room and
found her still awake.
Nombulelo: “Hey, can I come in for a second?”
Millicent: “Sure.”
Nombulelo: (clearing throat) “Uh, my… Thato is here
to see me. I wanted to ask you if it’s okay that he’s
here. I don’t think he’ll sleep over – “
I respected Millicent very much because of the path
we both walked together since we were born. I was
very nervous even telling her about that. She knew I
didn’t like guys very much but she was quite pleased
with the idea of me dating again.
Page 1570 of 1871

Millicent: (smiling) “It’s okay, sis. You don’t have to
explain yourself to me. He is more than welcome, as
long as he treats you right.”
Chapter 68
Proverbs 15:3 – “The eyes of the Lord are in every
place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.”
I mean I was a little taken aback when I saw Chauke
yesterday. He was even chilling in my very own tavern
after what he had done to my mother. When I stared
at her, all the anger I had towards her came back to
me. I didn’t want to wring her neck like before – no,
but I wanted to embarrass her just as much as she
used to do to me.
Nombulelo: “Betty Chauke? Is this really you?”
Betty looked down ashamedly. She had lost an
incredible amount of weight, she looked nothing like
the stylish bitch she once was. If anything she looked
like a sixteen year old junkie. I could even see her
wrinkles and tiny freckles. She couldn’t even afford
any make-up anymore. How quickly life changes.
Betty: (looking down) “Hello, Nombulelo. I see you
have done well for yourself despite the
circumstances.”
I chuckled. She had the audacity to still be so
condescending yet she needed a favour from me.
Page 1571 of 1871

Nombulelo: “What can I say? Perhaps I am one of
God’s favourites after all. Anyway, what brings you
here to the lion’s den?”
Betty: “I thought she explained to you.”
By she she was referring to Grilla.
Nombulelo: “Yes, she did and her name is Grilla. I
want to hear it from you. Why have you come here?”
Betty: (sigh) “Do I really have to spell it out?”
Nombulelo: “Well, clearly you have come here to
waste my time just like your husband did yesterday.”
She raised her eyebrows in shock.
Betty: “My husband was here?”
Nombulelo: “You seem to know everything about him
so why do you seem shocked? I don’t know why you
have called me here and I was indulging in my lovely
novel.”
Betty: (chuckling) “No offence, but an ex-convict
reading in a tavern? Don’t make me laugh.”
Nombulelo: “It’s funny to you because you’re such a
perfect lady yet it seems as if you haven’t looked in
the mirror lately. Grilla, please see her out. The next
time someone comes here asking for my services do
tell them that respect is earned.”
Grilla: (nodding) “Sho (sure) bozza yami (my boss). A
re ye wena (let’s go).”
Page 1572 of 1871

She was pushed out by Grilla and she walked out in
disbelief. I wasn’t about to be disrespected by Betty
Chauke. Not in my place of business. After she left I
proceeded to the counter. Grilla came back to speak
to me.
Grilla: “Ah, sister boss. You shouldn’t have let her go
like that. Word of mouth is a good way to promote
the loan shark side of things.”
Nombulelo: “You’re right about the word of mouth
aspect, Grilla but I couldn’t possibly let her disrespect
me like that and get away with it. She is the one who
wants my services. You saw her, she’s desperate. She’ll
be back.”
Grilla: “How sure are you?”
Nombulelo: “The very same reason that brought her
here is the very same reason she’ll be back – soon.”
I went about my business and relaxed. I was so caught
up in the book that I asked Aeysha to take over the
counter. It wasn’t so busy since it was a Sunday. I was
halfway through the book when it was around 5pm.
In between I was trying to respond to Thato’s texts.
He told me that he’d pick me up around 7pm.
Priscilla: “Okay, it’s knock off time for you.”
She took the book away from me just when I was
getting to the juicy part.
Page 1573 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Ah, man, P. You can’t do that. Do you
know how long I’ve been dying to get to that part?”
Priscilla: “O tlabe wa betha top (you’ll end up going
mad). Come on, you need to go get ready. You can’t
go on a date looking and smelling like some of the
people in here.”
Nombulelo: “He’ll be picking me up at 7pm – it’s not
even 6pm yet.”
Priscilla: “Which is the more reason you need to go
get ready. You can’t go there looking like a basic
bitch.”
Nombulelo: “And what does a basic bitch look like?”
Priscilla: “Like you right now. Go on, I’ll lock up.”
Nombulelo: “I can’t expect you to do everything.”
Priscilla: “You can thank me by making me the maid of
honour. Now go.”
I just thanked her and let her be. She wasn’t going to
let me stay either way. I went into the house and
Millicent was busy with watching some series on her
laptop. I bought her one to catch up with some
assignments that needed a computer. I took a long
bath thinking about my wonderful night with Thato. I
suppose prison did me good because it was a very
fruitful sex session. Once I was done, I contemplated
Page 1574 of 1871

what to wear since he wouldn’t tell me where we
were going so I texted him.
Nombulelo: “At least tell me where we’re going.”
Thato: “Just dress casually.”
I didn’t understand exactly what casually was. It could
have meant anything from a dress to flipflops and a
jean, so I chose a short maxi dress and paired it with
my Gucci flops. My entire life I had an afro and was
never bothered but then Priscilla mention something
about being a basic bitch. Perhaps it was time to
change things up a little. I ended up giving Millicent all
my make up because I just wasn’t into it. I went to her
door and knocked on it before entering.
Nombulelo: “I’m going on a date with Thato. Do you
mind helping me with my hair and make-up?”
She smiled instantly.
Millicent: “This is like a dream come true. I have been
dying for this moment.”
She placed me on her chair right in front of her mirror.
She started touching my hair and I became skeptical
immediately.
Nombulelo: “You do know that I have had natural hair
all my life, right?”
Millicent: “It’s never too late for change. Don’t you
worry, I won’t dare cut your hair.”
Page 1575 of 1871

I didn’t want to keep looking at what she was doing
because I was going to make the both of us anxious,
so I decided to browse through her YouTube channel.
I was really amazed at the progress she had made.
She had over 50 000 subscribers and so many videos
that I lost count. I was quite impressed.
Nombulelo: (surprised) “This is amazing, sis. How
much do you make now?”
Millicent: “A lot. Here, let me show you my wallet so
far.”
She showed me and I was even more impressed than
before.
Nombulelo: “You are so talented, you know. I am so
proud of you. I can see why you’re always cooped in
here but you really do need to make some friends.”
Millicent: “Thank you, but I do have friends. Who told
you I don’t have any?”
Nombulelo: “I can tell, I’m not stupid hey.”
Millicent: “Well, I do have friends – well, a friend.”
Nombulelo: “It had better not be a boy.”
Millicent: “Oh, no. You have warned me over a
thousand times to stay away from boys. I know
exactly what you would do to me if I date.”
Nombulelo: “Hmm, I see.”
Page 1576 of 1871

My entire life I would only comb my afro and just
leave it as is, but Millicent made me completely
different that day. She put some gel on my hair and
ensured that my hair fit into a neat high raised bun.
She gave me such a good facebeat I could not even
recognize myself.
Millicent: “I’m all done.”
Nombulelo: (shocked) “Is this really me, though?”
Millicent: (chuckling) “Of course it’s you.”
Nombulelo: “I can hardly recognize myself.”
Millicent: “That’s the whole point. You did say you
didn’t want to look basic.”
Nombulelo: “You are highly talented my sister. Thank
you so much.”
Millicent: “You’re welcome.”
We heard a stern knock on the door and I assumed it
was Thato on his way to surprise me instead of texting
or calling to say that he was outside.
Nombulelo: “Oh, that must be Thato. He’s a bit early.”
Millicent: “Hmm, I want to come with you and see
what car he is driving.”
Nombulelo: “That had better not serve as motivation
for you to find a boyfriend.”
Millicent: “Yes, ma’am.”
Page 1577 of 1871

We walked towards the lounge and approached the
door, only to find the least expected person knocking
on my door. I became instantly annoyed because I
never allowed anyone to knock on my house door,
but she had the nerve. She probably saw my instant
reaction and immediately responded.
Betty: “Hi, I’m sorry for knocking on your door at this
hour, but I asked Grilla if I could.”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Can I help you?”
Betty: “I… uh, can I come in?’
Nombulelo: “Betty, state your case please. I have
somewhere I need to be in a few minutes.”
Betty: (nervously) “Okay, I would first like to apologize
for the way I reacted today. It was not my intention to
do that. I had come to you for a loan – I’m really
desperate. Please, help me out. I have nowhere else
to go.”
I saw the tears in her eyes and I was not moved. I was
only thinking of my appointment with Thato, so I had
to speed that up.
Nombulelo: “How much do you need?”
Betty: “R5000.”
She was insane. I was not about to lend so much
money to a first time customer.
Page 1578 of 1871

Nombulelo: (shaking head) “You’re a first time
customer, Betty. I can’t lend you that much. I’ll give
you R1000. If you can bring it back on time, perhaps
we can talk again next time. You do know of our terms
and conditions, don’t you?”
Betty: (nervously) “Ye – yes.”
Nombulelo: “You seem indecisive. Go to the back, in
the office.
Priscilla will explain everything to you and you will sign
our contract before you take the money.”
She looked relieved. Anything in terms of money
seemed like a good thing for her. She couldn’t stop
thanking me before she left. I texted Priscilla to do
exactly what I had told Betty and she agreed.
Millicent: “Are you really a loan shark now?”
Nombulelo: “Yes and as I said, you’re not going to
worry about all that.”
Millicent: (nodding) “Is it not dangerous for you?”
Nombulelo: “Everything I do, I do for you and my
siblings. You don’t have to worry about a thing. I won’t
put any of you in harm’s way.”
She nodded though I wasn’t too sure if she was
convinced. She was always so worried about me, one
thing I didn’t want her to do. Just in time, Thato
arrived. I saw him parking right outside the gate.
Page 1579 of 1871

Nombulelo: “There he is.”
Millicent: (excitedly) “He drives a Golf 7 GTI sesi (sis)?”
Millicent: “Tjo (wow). You always get the rich ones. I
hope he treats you well. Can I go say hi?”
Alfred was very fond of her and it seemed that she
had that kind of effect on the guys I dated because
Thato seemed to have a liking towards her as well. We
walked towards the car and he got out.
He smiled instantly when he saw me.
Thato: (smiling) “Hey, beautiful.”
Thato: “You look absolutely amazing.”
Nombulelo: (blushing) “You can thank her for that.”
Thato: “Millicent, thanks so much for turning my wife
into an even more gorgeous queen. I never knew she
would want to wear so much make-up.”
Millicent: (chuckling) “She should do it more often.”
Nombulelo: “Well, enough about me. Are we ready to
leave?”
Thato: “Sure. Will you be alright alone, Millicent?”
Millicent: “Yes, I am safe in the house. I have a
bouncer as well – courtesy of my sister.”
Thato: “Okay.”
Page 1580 of 1871

He took out some money from his wallet.
Thato: “Here, buy yourself something to eat in case
you get hungry.”
He handed her the money which she took gracefully.
Millicent: (smiling) “Please do take my sister on
regular dates. I can’t wait for the next time. Bye!”
She walked back into the house hastily.
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Seriously?”
Thato: “What?”
Chapter 69
Deutoronomy 6:16 – “You shall not put the Lord your
God to the test, as you tested him at Massah.”
Gemma prayed for our food while she couldn’t stop

smiling at me.
Gemma: “Father God, we come before you today.

We’d firstly like to thank you for the meal we’re about
to eat, but I personally would like to thank you for
allowing me to finally meet my son’s future wife.
Lord, you know life has not been easy for me and it
has been even less easier for him. I thank you for
finally blessing him with someone whom he will love
and who will love him back. You are a God of mercy
and grace, you pulled Thato out of a very dark hole, a
Page 1581 of 1871

hole I myself as his mother never thought he would
come out of. Most importantly, you are a God of
grace and love. As said in 1 John verse 16; “For from
his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.”
Your grace has truly been sufficient, oh, Lord. May
this be the beginning of a wonderful new chapter for
all of us. In Jesus’ mighty name. Amen.”
Thato and I both said Amen.
Gemma: “My son told me what you like and don’t

like, so I decided to make a little bit of everything. I do
hope you have a big appetite like me.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, Ma, I am not much of an eater but I

love good food. It smells so good I don’t even know
where to start.”
Gemma: “Oh, you’re home, my love. You can eat

whatever you want.”
Thato: “Let me dish up for you. Just tell me what you

would like to eat.”
Page 1582 of 1871

He knew just how uncomfortable I got eating around
unfamiliar people. Thankfully his mother could see
how nervous I was and understood. He stood up and
dished up for me while I chose all the dishes I felt like
indulging in. I was truly amazed that his mother was
such a good cook.
Gemma: “So, Nombulelo, Thato has told me all about
you but I want to hear it from you, honey. Who are
you and where are you from?”
Nombulelo: “Oh, uh, there’s not much to tell about

me.”
Gemma: “Oh, everyone has a back story. For

instance, I can start with myself. I can see you’re quite
nervous. There’s no reason to me. I am your
mother.”
She said that with such verity, I couldn’t help but feel
contented.
Gemma: “Well, I was born and bred in the Free State.

My parents were not that rich, you know. Until they
slowly worked their way up. My father inherited his
grandfather’s farm and once he sold it, he started
Page 1583 of 1871
making big money moves. Decades later, they
ensured that my sisters and I have a good education.
They didn’t want us to suffer, so they bought each of
us our fist house and by the time we started working
we were set for life. I went to medical school with the
sole intention of making them proud, only to meet
my husband, Thato’s father. Can you believe a whole
Sotho girl like me bagged a Zulu man? I tell you it
wasn’t easy but three children later, here I am.”
I could sense the entrenched pain that she was hiding

deep within. She started off speaking with so much
joy and her eyes were beaming with pride, until she
spoke of her husband. There was a tinge of sadness
mixed with regret in her eyes but above anything else,
she was a grateful person indeed.
Gemma: “You know, my parents never favoured my

relationship with Thato’s father. At first it was because
of the culture clashes but the moment they met him
they disliked him instantly. I can hate him for a lot of
things but I am grateful that I had my children. Who
knows where I’d be had I not met him, really?”
Page 1584 of 1871

I just listened with understanding while Thato seemed
tense. He always tensed up whenever his father was
mentioned. I didn’t understand why.
Gemma: “We’re told that we should listen to our

parents while growing up and that they know best. In
my situation, they did know best but one can never
be too sure or foresee the future. I can tell you one
thing, Nombulelo. If I were just like my parents, I
would try and choose a partner for Thato, but instead
I allow my children to choose their own paths. How
else will they learn if they don’t do things on their
own? I won’t always be there but by the grace of God
I will witness my children fall in love and marry those
they do love. That’s all I wish for them; to live good
lives and find love. Or do you have any other
sentiments, my dear?”
I was put on the spot. I thought I was just going to

listen to her speak of herself. I mean, I hadn’t even
told her about whom I was and where I was from like
she had asked.
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Uh, well, I don’t really know.

I wouldn’t exactly say that I’d choose a partner for my
Page 1585 of 1871
siblings, but if they choose wrong I’d most definitely
tell them and try to show them the right path.”
Gemma: (nodding) “I see. I totally understand you –

especially if one has had a tough background, it surely
can’t be easy to sit just sit back and watch your loved
ones being drowned by a person that claims to love
them, right?”
I nodded nervously once again.
Gemma: “Oh, well. Who’s ready for dessert?”
I noticed during the feast that his mother had some

champagne but was still stuck on one glass. She
wasn’t much of a drinker, I could tell. I wanted to
stand up and assist her with clearing the table, but
she insisted that I just sit and relax.
Nombulelo: “Oh, please, Ma. Let me assist you with

clearing up the table.”
Gemma: “Oh, no. You just sit back and relax. Thato
has it all covered, my dear. I insist.”
Page 1586 of 1871

I sat back and agreed while the both of them took all
the remaining food and dishes to the kitchen. They
seemed to take a bit longer than I expected them to,
but I just sat there and admired the house. I found
myself standing up and looking around. I was just in
immense awe. She found me standing in between
the dining area and lounge just staring around. There
were a few paintings hung around the house, one
that stood out for me was hanging right up the stairs
in the middle and it looked like a family portrait. I
couldn’t exactly see the father figure in it because I
was so far down.
Gemma: (smiling) “Oh, I see you have found the

famous paintings. Thato is a natural, isn’t he?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, he is. I can believe he drew all

these.”
Gemma: “Oh, honey. You haven’t seen anything yet.

Wait till you see what he has in store for you.”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “What do you mean?”
Page 1587 of 1871

Gemma: “Just you wait. Come, dessert is ready. I
made blueberry cheesecake.”
That was one of my favourites to be honest. The fact

that she made all my favourites from scratch was just
bizzare. She too was thoughtful much like her son.
The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, clearly. We sat
down and dug into our cheesecake. The conversation
was flowing so well, until I heard the front door
opening. Thato and Gemma looked at each other
with confusion.
Thato: “Are you expecting anyone, Ma?”
Gemma: (shaking head) “No.”
I heard a familiar voice shouting.
Man: (shouting) “Honey, I’m home!”
My heart nearly dropped to the floor. I swore it was

him – but how? How could it have been him? The
panic on both Thato and Gemma’s faces confirmed
what I had been thinking. What I couldn’t understand
was why they were freaked out so much. They were
Page 1588 of 1871
both mute for a few minutes as they stared at each
other in disbelief and both of them looked at me in
fear. When I saw him stand right in the middle of the
dining area, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Something
within me, which I thought had died a long time ago
was evoked yet again – the immense abhorrence I felt
towards him. The moment he saw me, his smile
faded away immediately and turned into
contemptible resentment.
Bongani: (angrily) “What the fuck is this?!”
I kept my cool. For one, I didn’t want to show my true

colours right before Thato – the guy who loved me
and secondly he didn’t know the real me, and that
terrified me. Thato and his mother kept quiet for a
brief moment before reacting.
Bongani: (irately) “I asked you both a question.”
Gemma: “You’re interrupting a private lunch,

Bongani. Please leave.”
Page 1589 of 1871

He didn’t take that request too well and started
making serious threats which made me even more
alarmed.
Bongani: (chuckling) “Well, she clearly played you two
as well, huh? Well, she has a knack for that, you
know. Everyone always falls for her little tricks.”
Thato was not phased by Bongani at all. The more I

looked at him and Bongani, I realized then that I finally
knew he resembled his father. He was just lighter
than Bongani but his rather stout nature was his.
Thato: (firmly) “As uMa (mother) said, you have no

business here. We didn’t invite you.”
Bongani: (laughing) “Oh, but it is my business, you

see? I have a little score to settle with this young lady
you call a girlfriend. Nombulelo, have you told my son
here who you are? I mean, who you really are?”
I panicked and looked at Thato with colossal terror in

my eyes. I felt the need to confess right there and
then, but he didn’t give me the platform.
Page 1590 of 1871

Nombulelo: (worried) “Thato, may I speak with you in
private, please?”
Thato firmly held my hand and continued speaking to

his father.
Thato: (firmly) “You are not welcome here. I am not

interested in what you have to say about her or
anyone else in this room.”
Bongani: “Oh, but I think you will be interested once I

tell you who she really is, you know? The mother-
fucking gangster and daughter of a low life whore – “
I was boiling but tried by all means not to retaliate. It

wasn’t going to look good at all had I done so and
therefore Thato interrupted him on my behalf leaving
me too stunned to even speak further.
Thato: (interjecting) “I know. I know all about her past

if that’s what you’re referring to. I know, she’s one of
the clients you were representing. I know she was in
prison, I know who she was dating and I know all
about her life. You can spare me the lies.”
Page 1591 of 1871

Bongani didn’t expect that bombshell to be dropped
and to be honest, neither did I. I looked at Thato in
pure disbelief but he defended my honour in such a
way I didn’t expect, leaving Bongani even irater than
when he walked in there.
Bongani: (livid) “You seriously have got to be joking.

You cannot possibly expect me to believe that you
think of her as a saint?”
Thato: “What I think of her is none of your business.”
Bongani: “She is the reason I got disbarred!”
Thato: “You are the only one to blame for your own
demise. No one asked you to defend criminals and
eat from the same plate with them.”
Bongani: (angrily) “Oh, I see now. She has turned you

against me as well?! How dare you come in between
father and son, Nombulelo! Isn’t it enough for you to
take my career from me?! What is this?! Part of your
strategy to finish off what you started?!”
Page 1592 of 1871

He became so angry that he stepped closer towards
me in an attempt to try and assault me, but Thato and
Gemma btoh stood before me in a joint manner. I
was truly humbled that anyone would ever stand up
for me like that. He paused when he noticed their
unity.
Gemma: “This isn’t your house, so you don’t have the

right to call the shots here. Like Thato said, you
weren’t invited. So, please leave.”
Bongani: “Junior, you actually are choosing a girl over

your own father?”
Thato stood right there and stared him right in the

eye without letting go of my trembling hand.
Gemma: “I won’t ask you again, Bongani.”
He took a good look at Gemma and then at Thato

before saving the best for last and looking at me
before saying his famous last words.
Bongani: (calmly) “Okay, I see how it is now. I will

leave but rest assured, it doesn’t end here, baby girl.
Page 1593 of 1871
You think you can take what I took so long to build for
myself and just walk away freely? We shall see.”
He then turned around and walked away. Gemma

and Thato were most probably used to his way of
speaking and constant threats because they were
unbothered, but something within me told me that
he wasn’t bluffing that day. It was as if I knew what he
was capable of. He left me feeling troubled while the
both of them looked rather troubled about me.
Gemma: (worried) “Oh, honey. I am so sorry about all
that. You shouldn’t have witnessed my husband in
that manner. I feel so embarrassed.”
I was about to respond when Thato grabbed both my

hands. He looked like he was the embarrassed one
while it should have been me. I could feel him
quivering as well.
Thato: (nervously) “I’m very sorry you experienced

that, gangster queen. If you just give me a chance to
explain – “
Nombulelo: (interrupting) “I should have told you

about me, I really should have.”
Page 1594 of 1871
Thato: “It’s okay, there’s really no need. I knew about
you long before I fell for you.”
I thought for a second that he must have read about

me somewhere, but that wasn’t the case.
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Did you read up about me?”
Thato: (shaking head) “The night after I met you, the

day you left. I received a rather thick envelope filled
with all the information about you. Believe me I knew
in my heart that it was my father. He probably had
sent someone to show me everything bad he wanted
me to k now about you thinking that I’d back down,
but I wasn’t interested. Yes, I read the entire file but
that didn’t change my feelings for you. I still knew in
my heart that you were the one for me. I called my
mother the very same day and told her everything
about you – I mean everything. She too didn’t
protest. Instead she encouraged me to follow my
heart because she had never heard me speak of
someone that way. She too knew I was in love.
Nombulelo, I loved you from the moment I saw you.
Page 1595 of 1871

Sure, it might sound corny but it is what it is. No one
can ever tell me otherwise or change my mind.”
I was speechless. I had no idea what to say or think,

but he most definitely made me feel something I had
never felt before – a different kind of love and care
from the opposite sex. It made me feel so warm and
teary.
Gemma: “Nombulelo, once again please forgive my

husband. I knew all about you – all of you from the
moment Thato told me about you. Call me insane
but I really didn’t and still don’t have a problem with
you. We all make mistakes in life and it is not about
what we did but about what we do to pick ourselves
up from there.”
That made me feel even guiltier. The fact that she

was willing to accept all of me yet I couldn’t be
completely honest with them. The truth is that I was
still a gangster. Perhaps not as violent and bad as I
was when I was with Alfred, but I was still one. I was
involved in shady things just to make means. I wasn’t
planning to go back to school any time soon. How
was I even going to fit in their image? They mistook
Page 1596 of 1871
my shock for confusion hence Gemma suggested that
we go back to our hotel or stay there for the night.
Thato: “Ma, I think she’s still a bit upset. Perhaps we

should leave.”
Gemma: “Or you could stay the night here. It is

probably not in your weekend plans but please stay.
You can go out again later and come back. I just think
it would be best – for your safety and all.”
Once again I felt alarmed. Why would she have

mentioned my safety so suddenly? I couldn’t shake
the feeling that Bongani was more dangerous than I
had thought. I still found it too difficult to even speak.
Thato: (nodding) “Okay, but we have plans for later

on.”
Gemma: (nodding) “I know. Take her upstairs. I will

clean up here.”
Thato: “Are you sure? I was just going to come down

and assist you with that.”
Page 1597 of 1871

Gemma: (shaking head) “I’m the host and you’re my
guests. Go on, she needs you more than I do right
now.”
Thato nodded in agreement with his mother and took

me upstairs. I found my eyes wandering around the
walls filled with different kinds of paintings that Thato
had made. There was a family portrait right in the
middle of the stairs at the top and I got to see a
clearer picture of it. Bongani was right in the middle
seated on a big chair like a king while Gemma was
standing on his left hand side. Thato was standing
beside his mother, while another boy who looked
much like Bongani stood beside him. His sister who
was the youngest was seated right before Bongani. It
was an odd picture but I suppose it was taken during
their happier days. Thato took me all the way to the
left corner, where his bedroom was situated. The
moment he opened the door, I noticed how neatly
everything was packed. It was designed in black and
white, and it was most definitely his idea. I could just
tell.
Thato: “Welcome to my room. We normally spend

holidays at this house.”
Page 1598 of 1871
I just nodded and placed myself on the bed. He came
to lie right beside me and look me right in the eye.
Ever since Bongani left, I tried so hard not to look
Thato in the eye. I didn’t want to cry, I hated doing
that in the midst of people.
Thato: “Hey, look at me. Please look at me.”
I couldn’t, I tried but I just couldn’t. I felt my body

being crippled with anxiety and so much
apprehension. He noticed and slowly lifted my chin
so that I could be able to face him. I closed my eyes.
Thato: (softly) “Nombulelo, please look at me.”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “I can’t.”

Chapter 70
Lamentations 3: 22 – 23 – “The steadfast love of
the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an
end; they are new every morning; great is your
faithfulness.”
I saw myself in an empty room still dressed the way I

was that evening. The room was quite dark but I
Page 1599 of 1871
couldn’t see exactly where I was. I saw a bright light
approaching me, almost blinding me.
Michelle: “Nombulelo, what are you doing here?”
Nombulelo: “Michelle? I don’t understand what you

mean. I don’t even know how I got here.”
Michelle: “You have to go back. It’s not yet time for

you to be here.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t understand how I got here in the

first place.”
Michelle: “I told you that I would be there to protect

you. You have angered your family so much; your
mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, but
things are looking up. God is not done with you yet.
Repent and you will receive all the desires of your
heart.”
Nombulelo: “What are you talking about?”
Michelle: “Thato is the man God has given you.

Repent and you will have a great life with him. Now,
Page 1600 of 1871
turn around and keep walking until the bright light
fades away. Don’t look back.”
She said nothing else, instead she disappeared. I

suddenly became a little fearful and decided to listen
to her words. I started walking briskly towards the
direction she pointed me to and I didn’t look back as
she said. I heard a familiar voice calling out to me
though I couldn’t see him.
Thato: “Nombulelo, can you hear me?”
I opened my eyes and was briefly blinded by the

brightness of the room. I heard the beeping
machines all around me. My head was pounding and
I could barely lift my left arm. I looked around and
indeed I was in a hospital bed hooked onto machines.
Thato: “Hey, you’re awake.”
He was still smiling at me as always with a small

bandage around his forehead. I saw a few scrapes on
his face and neck but other than that he was just fine.
Page 1601 of 1871
Nombulelo: “Am I in the hospital?”
Thato: (nodding) “Yes, you were badly injured.”
I couldn’t remember exactly what happened.
Nombulelo: “All I remember was being in the car with

the driver and then – “
Thato: (interjecting) “Do you remember us being

attacked by two guys? Do you remember us jumping
out of the car?”
I suddenly remembered. It was no wonder why I was

injured. It all suddenly came back to me.
Nombulelo: “I remember now. Are you alright?”
Thato: “Yes, I am. I just have mild pain and a few

scrapes. You were badly injured. When you couldn’t
wake up I thought you would never wake up.”
I saw the tears in his eyes and it just made me sad.
Page 1602 of 1871

Nombulelo: (teary) “I’m sorry.”
Thato: “What for?”
Nombulelo: “For everything. Had you not met me

you wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.”
Thato: “Don’t go there, Nombulelo, please. It

happens, this is South Africa. Crime is everywhere.”
Nombulelo: “No, I think you and I both have to face

reality. Someone did this to us deliberately. Those
guys were sent to us on purpose.”
Thato: “Get some sleep, I will be right here when you

wake up.”
He dismissed my thoughts which meant he knew

where I was going with it. I couldn’t help but shake
the feeling that Bongani was right behind it all.
Nombulelo: “Okay, but I need to call Priscilla and

Millicent and let them know that I’m okay.”
Page 1603 of 1871

Thato: “I already did that. We’re in Cape Town, my
love. They can’t easily fly over here. You’ll be
discharged soon. For now, get some rest.”
I just simply agreed most probably because the

medication was wearing me down. I was in my own
private room. I had no medical aid, so that told me
Thato was paying for it all. He had his own couch
where he was sleeping and keeping an eye on me. I
had no idea what I did to deserve that guy but I was
grateful. For the first time in my life I contemplated
thanking God. I didn’t know where to start since I had
lost my connection to Him years before then but I
figured, it wouldn’t hurt to try. So, I said a silent
prayer just thanking Him for sparing my life. I don’t
know, it just felt like the right thing to do. I wondered
why Thato was barely hurt and why I had a stiff neck
and broken arm. Was it his faith in God that saved
him? Was I saved because of his faith? I dozed off
peacefully and was woken up a few hours later by
Thato gently shaking me.
Thato: (gently) “Good morning, my love. Wake up.”
Page 1604 of 1871

I opened my eyes slowly and saw that he was still
wearing the same clothes he had come in and he had
a cupcake with a candle in his hand.
Nombulelo: “What’s this?”
Thato: “Happy birthday. Make a wish.”
I never believed in birthday wishes, but I decided to

try something new. After I made the wish I blew out
the candle.
Thato: (smiling) “Are you going to tell me what you

wished for?”
Nombulelo: “If I do then it might not even come true,

right?”
Thato: (chuckling) “You’re probably right.”
Nombulelo: “What time is it?”
Thato: “It’s 10am. I quickly made a few calls while you

were asleep to order some of your favourite meals for
breakfast. We all know hospital food sucks.”
Page 1605 of 1871

I was so humbled. He had placed all the food on a
tray for me and wheeled the little table towards me.
We had a pleasant meal.
Thato: “I’m sorry you have to spend your 19th birthday

on a hospital bed.”
Nombulelo: “Hey, it’s really okay. Life is unpredictable

as you always say. I am just grateful you’re here and
that I am still alive.”
Thato: (puzzled) “Is this your way of telling me that

you have found God, my Lelo?”
Nombulelo: (laughing) “Oh, you never know.”
We continued eating and despite it all, it was actually

the best birthday I had ever had. I thought I was
going to get discharged quite soon, but the doctor
said they needed to monitor me for a few days. I was
really not up for being cooped up in a hospital bed.
Page 1606 of 1871

Nombulelo: (sigh) “Thato, you do know I have a
business to run. And my sister has to go back to
boarding school.”
Thato: “Priscilla and your team have it all covered.

Don’t you worry about Millicent, I organised someone
to take her back to school. Everyone is safe and so
are you. You are my main priority right now. You
need to get better, just focus on that.”
Nombulelo: “What about you? You need to go back

to campus.”
Thato: “I have already informed the Dean that I have a

challenge. I was injured and in hospital. So, I will be
here for as long as you need me.”
Nombulelo: “You do know that you’ll be missing out

on some work right? Law is not child’s play.”
Thato: “Don’t you worry, God has my back.”
He stayed right by my side and lodged in that hospital

room with me the entire week. His mother even
came later on that day to give me a present for my
Page 1607 of 1871
birthday. She checked in on us every now and again
but had to go back to work. I was not allowed to
worry about anything not even the hospital bill but
myself. I was spoiled rotten that week and though my
arm was broken, it frustrated me a little bit. He
assisted me with everything I needed – even with
going to the bathroom. I was keeping tabs with
Priscilla and Millicent with the new phone that he had
bought me. The twins were just fine and according to
my knowledge the tavern was running smoothly and
customers were flocking even more than before. I
had no idea what it was, but it seemed as if my luck
was finally turning. When Priscilla told me how much
we made that week alone, I was quite shocked. The
loan shark business was also booming so much that
all the customers who had taken loans before
returned the money and came back for seconds –
Betty Chauke and her husband included. Things were
looking up and I was just happy. I was discharged
after a week’s stay in the hospital and boy was I glad. I
just couldn’t wait to get back to my normal life. Thato
was still the very same Thato before the accident, just
a lot more attentive and loving. We flew back home
and he ensured that I was settled first before going
back to his flat. The tavern was running just fine and
Page 1608 of 1871
Priscilla bullied me into staying in the house. I hated
sitting and doing nothing, so I indulged in a few books
that Thato had bought me while I was in the hospital.
Thato: “Will you be okay while I am gone?”
Nombulelo: “Of course, I am a big girl, Thato. Have

you forgotten just how dangerous I am?”
Thato: (chuckling) “Dangerous or not, it wouldn’t hurt

for me to worry about you. I will see you later, okay?”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Later? You have school work

to do.”
Thato: “I already submitted this week’s assignments. I

only have a test to write today. Besides, I’ll be on
holiday by the end of this week so I can take proper
care of you. Don’t doze off too much, your birthday
gift is a bit late but it will arrive today.”
After all the spoils I received, a new phone and laptop

and so many flowers each day, I was truly convinced
that the birthday spoils were over.
Page 1609 of 1871

Nombulelo: (frowning) “What spoils now, Thato? You
have already done so much.”
Thato: “No, our big weekend got interrupted,

remember? You just wait for the arrival. I will see you
later.”
He kissed me goodbye and left. He was quite candid

about everything. I mean, whenever I wanted to
touch the topic of the accident and who might have
caused it, he just kept saying I shouldn’t worry about a
thing. His mother had my number and we spoke
often. She sent me beautiful messages and scripture
each morning, she never missed a day and she
absolutely felt like my new home. I was reading all
day while checking up on Priscilla via video calls that
day when a few hours later, I heard a knock on the
door. Someone entered and I knew it was Priscilla.
Priscilla: “Friend! It’s me! Your birthday gift has

arrived! I signed on your behalf!”
She just knew me too well. I got out of bed and was
so stunned to see a big gift wrapped in gift paper in
Page 1610 of 1871

the lounge. It looked like a big framed picture. The
size was just alarming.
Priscilla: “So? Aren’t you going to unwrap it?”
I was still in shock.
Nombulelo: “You know that I only have one good

arm, so you will have to assist me.”
Priscilla: (smiling) “Say no more. In fact, let me do it

for you.”
She unwrapped the gift and left me too stunned to

speak. It was a big painting of me. He told me he was
busy with the biggest project of his life, but I never
anticipated anything like that. I looked so beautiful, so
flawless. It literally brought tears to my eyes.
Priscilla: “Girl, if you didn’t know how much this man

loves you, I hope now you do.”
I had my phone in my hand luckily and received a text

from him.
Page 1611 of 1871

Thato: “I hope you love your gift. See you soon, xoxo
T.”
He was too thoughtful for words. Priscilla and I

couldn’t even hang it hence he asked the delivery
guys to give me a chance to view it before hanging it.
He even gave them the perfect instructions on where
to hang the picture in the lounge where everyone
would see it as they walked in. I moved myself from
the bedroom to the lounge so I could just stare at the
painting all day. It moved me. It finally felt like my
house. Who wouldn’t want a big painting of
themselves in the lounge? When he came back later
that day, he brought some groceries and opted to
cook for me.
Thato: “So, how was your day?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know what to say, Thato, really. I

mean, do you ever cease to amaze me?”
Thato: “Nope, it is my duty to surprise you each and

every day for the rest of our lives.”
Page 1612 of 1871

I stood right behind him as I embraced him from
behind.
Nombulelo: “How did I even land a wonderful guy like

you?”
Thato: “Well, the question should be how did I land

such a gorgeous girl? I mean have you seen yourself,
girl? You’re a diva.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Seriously, Thato. I don’t know

what I did to deserve you but I am just grateful. I am
truly grateful that I met you.”
Thato: “Are you trying to say that you’re blessed,

motho waka (my person)?”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “Don’t push it.”
Thato laughed at me and once he was done with

dinner, he dished out for us and we had a pleasant
one. Soon after eating dessert, we retreated to my
bedroom and made sweet love to one another yet
again. My neck brace was finally off and we were
Page 1613 of 1871

extra careful since my arm was still not healed. We
found ourselves lying in bed with our eyes wide open.
Thato: “Hey, love. I’ve been thinking. Since we’ve

been so reckless, perhaps we should get tested. I
mean we’ve been together for a while now and we
haven’t even been using condoms at all.”
Shit, I had no idea why that never came to mind. He

was worried about HIV while I was worried about the
potential of being pregnant. But then again, if I was
the doctor would have picked it up while I was
admitted. I jumped up and looked at him worriedly.
Thato: “What is it?”
Nombulelo: “Please don’t tell me you think I’m

pregnant or something. Fuck, how could we be so
stupid?”
Thato: “Hey, relax. You’re not pregnant. I mean, the

doctor would have told us. You get tested for
everything once they admit you and before you go
into surgery as well.”
Page 1614 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Sure, but that was a week ago, T. I mean
anything can happen in a week.”
Thato: “You’re right but I wouldn’t mind you being

pregnant.”
Nombulelo: “Be serious. I can’t afford a baby right

now. I still have so much to do for my siblings – for
me.”
Thato: “You can do all that with me by your side.

Listen, I am not going anywhere. Sure, it was never
my intention to get you pregnant, but I won’t go
anywhere.”
He was already speaking to me as if I was already

pregnant. I hated myself at that present moment.
We had only been dating for about three months and
I might have been pregnant. It was as if I didn’t learn
from the first time with Alfred. What the fuck was
wrong with me. He kept reassuring me that
everything would be fine while I just had my doubts. I
didn’t sleep that night, instead, I kept trying to think
back on how I was feeling. It didn’t help much since
we had just started having sex a week after I was
Page 1615 of 1871
discharged. He spent every single night at my house
and we went to get tested the following day already.
We were both negative, thank goodness for that and
it would have been pointless to test for pregnancy
since it was most probably too early but I did it
anyway. That too came out negative and I felt the
need to get back to my daily job, running the tavern.
Priscilla, Aeysha, Grilla and I were officially a team.
We did everything together and run things by one
another before going through with them. We had our
very first official meeting just before opening the
tavern.
've been so quiet because I am undergoing some
major changes in my life. It has been the most difficult
book to keep up with and finish writing, my family. I
will tell you soon. Keep well.
Chapter 71
Phillipians 4:19 – “And my God will supply every need
of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ
Jesus.”
I was so weak but thank goodness to the drip, I felt a
lot better within a few minutes. While we were
waiting on the results after my blood was drawn,
Thato couldn’t help himself. He just kept smiling.
Page 1616 of 1871

Thato: (smiling) “Nothing, I am just a little excited.
Aren’t you?”
Nombulelo: “After the night I had, I doubt anything
would excite me.”
Thato: “On a serious note now, Nombulelo. This is a
big thing for us. I mean, as I have said I am not going
anywhwere.”
Nombulelo: “I really don’t know how to feel, T. You
know my situation. I am just not ready.”
Thato: “If God decides to bless us, who are we to
refuse?”
Nombulelo: “Do you understand what I am even
saying?”
Thato: “I do, I completely do. God’s timing is not ours.
Have faith, Nombulelo. Everything will be fine. I
promise.”
We sat there in complete silence trying to
comprehend what was coming. I just knew that I was
pregnant even before the results were out. They were
apparently going to take a few hours, and as
previously Thato booked me into a room where he
could lodge and keep an eye over me. I dozed off out
of nowhere and I had yet another dream of Michelle.
Michelle: “Nombulelo. I see you are slowly allowing
God back into your life.”
Page 1617 of 1871

Nombulelo: (sigh) “It wasn’t an invitation to ask Him
for a child if that’s what you mean.”
Michelle: (chuckling) “Well, sometimes what we ask
comes in different forms.”
Michelle: “For example you can ask God for riches,
and He can provide you a child instead. The child will
be your riches.”
Nombulelo: “Well, He can be a very funny God.”
Michelle: “Everything happens for a reason, my
friend. Most of the time things happen because God
puts us through tests. You will see this – trust your
gut. It will get you out of trouble one day. You have a
bigger purpose in life, you just don’t know it yet.”
Michelle: “You’ll find out when the time is right.”
As always she left me hanging and I was woken up
gently by Thato.
Thato: “Nombulelo, wake up. The doctor is here.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, Doctor. I must have fallen asleep.
What’s the verdict?”
Doctor: (laughing) “Well, as suspected you are most
definitely pregnant. About 4 weeks along.”
Page 1618 of 1871

Thato was beaming with excitement while I was just
forcing a smile. I wasn’t exactly sad about it I was just
disappointed that it happened that soon.
Thato: (excitedly) “Oh, that’s great news, Doctor.”
Doctor: “Yes, well. I will refer you to a gynae and you
can have all your check ups done. Make sure you take
your prescribed vitamins and eat healthily.”
Thato: “I will personally ensure that she does.”
Doctor: “Okay then. The nurse will give you your
prescription on your way out. I am discharging you.”
Thato: “Thank you, doc.”
The doctor walked out and I was mentally preparing
myself for my discharge. I still had mixed emotions but
Thato understood where I was coming from
thankfully. One thing about him was that he was more
than willing to be supportive and he refused to allow
anything or anyone to take the joy out of any
situation. I got discharged and despite my ability to
walk, Thato insisted that I be put in a wheelchair. I saw
him wheeling it into the ward.
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Seriously?”
Thato: “Yes, seriously. You have had a hard time the
past few hours. You shouldn’t strain yourself like that.
Come.”
Nombulelo: “I’m pregnant, not handicapped.”
Page 1619 of 1871

Thato: “The doctor said you need to take it easy,
that’s what I am here for.”
Despite my feelings regarding my pregnancy, I decided
to just breathe and let him be happy and actually
visualize the possibility of being a family.
I just nodded and let him be. He wheeled me out of
there and got me into the car. We drove off in
complete serenity, it was just blissful. Once we got
home, I could already sense he was trying to make
some changes.
Thato: “I have been thinking, how about you come
and live with me?”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Thato, where will my siblings
go?”
Thato: “I’m willing to buy us a house, you know.
They’ll have their own respective rooms.”
Nombulelo: “I really appreciate the effort, I really do.
But I don’t want you to do that – just not now. I am
perfectly capable of working while pregnant. Please,
don’t take that away from me.”
He just nodded but I knew him simply agreeing like
that without protesting meant he was not about to let
it go that easily. He was looking around as if he was
already planning to make some changes. I was just
Page 1620 of 1871

still so tired, and the club was running. It seemed that
they all had everything under control. I just needed a
hot bath and some rest. He ran the bath for me and
while I was in there, he managed to get me a platter
from the club.
Thato: “I promise – no seafood this time.”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “You should stop doing so
much, I might just never let you go.”
Thato: “That’s the whole intention.”
I indulged in my food and nearly finished the entire
platter, which was so unlike me. He didn’t mind, all he
wanted to do was just stare at me while eating. While
I was taking a bath, he ensured that he gave me a
gentle shoulder rub which came highly appreciated.
He instructed me to get into bed and do nothing that
evening. Thankfully Priscilla came to check in on me. I
thought he would leave and go back to his place, but
he went to the kitchen to make us something to eat
instead, despite us having a menu wide enough to
cater for all our needs. She found me in bed and was
so excited to see me again.
Priscilla: (excitedly) “How are you doing, love? I have
missed you – we all have.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, please. You want to know what the
real reason for my hospital stay was.”
Page 1621 of 1871

Priscilla: (chuckling) “That comes as part of the
conversation. You were going to tell me anyway. So?
What is wrong with you? Are you baking?”
I couldn’t hold back the tears as I nodded, and I truly
don’t know why. It must have truly been the
hormones. She came closer to me and hugged me
tightly.
Priscilla: “Oh, honey. It’s going to be okay. I thought
you’d be happy.”
Nombulelo: (crying) “How can I be happy, P? How? I
don’t even know where to start. Does that even make
a bad person?”
Priscilla: “Honey, you’re not a bad person at all. Sure,
we’ve done a lot of bad things, but we’re not bad
people. I get where you’re coming from – believe me I
do. Perhaps you should look at the glass half full
instead of the other way round.”
Priscilla: “Well, I know it sounds a little too cliché but
think about it. Thato rocked up when you needed him
the most. You were fresh from prison and he was
right there to accept you with open arms. Despite it
all, he is still around and he loves you more than
anything. God makes no mistakes, my friend. Yes, He
might have done us dirty a few times but He has His
Page 1622 of 1871

reasons. He gave you Thato and now He has blessed
you two with a bundle of joy. Call me a sucker for love,
but I feel that He indeed knows why you fell pregnant
at this time. Sure, you might have been a little reckless
but hey, His timing is not our timing, right?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “I suppose you’re right, but I
just don’t know.”
Priscilla: “It will sink in, just give it time. No matter
what you do or how you feel, please – do not even
think of aborting this child. I beg of you.”
It was as if she knew that that thought would have
eventually crossed my mind. I did think about it for a
split second when the doctor delivered the news. I
was so caught up in my own little world that I didn’t
even think of condomising or preventing pregnancy. I
had no idea what I was thinking and it was already too
late. It wasn’t even about the financial aspect of it
anymore. Sure, Thato had money – lots of it and he
was more than willing to support the child and myself,
but I myself was just not ready for it all. The entire day
kept playing like a broken record in my mind that
entire day.
Nombulelo: “I hear you. So, how are you guys coping
without me?”
Page 1623 of 1871

Priscilla: “Surprisingly, we are coping more than just
fine. Our staff members are really going all out and we
are making so much profit, it’s crazy. I don’t think you
read my email.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, girl, I have been so wrapped up in
my own mind. I need to get back in the game.”
Priscilla: “Easy, now. You will do it when the time is
right. Take a few days off. Don’t think about us. Just
focus on you and your baby.”
Nombulelo: “I can’t let you do everything.”
Priscilla: “That’s what Aeysha and Grilla are there for.
Relax, will you? Even the loan shark business is going
so well we have doubled our profit. Even Betty came
for another loan straight after paying for the first one.
It seems as if she will become a regular that one.”
Nombulelo: “As long as she pays us back. I detest that
woman, you know.”
Priscilla: “Leave her, God is already dealing with her.”
A few days passed after that and Priscilla checked in
on me every now and then. Thato was with me
immediately after his lectures ended. He couldn’t stop
texting and video calling, even when he was in class. I
asked myself how he even concentrated at times. It
was slowly sinking in that I was going to become
someone’s mother. Life was just too hectic. Millicent
Page 1624 of 1871

was doing just fine at school while Nairobi was quite
stubborn but managing according to the nurses.
Having her away from me was a blessing in disguise.
She had to be someone’s problem for a change. On
one particular day, Thato called me on his way back
from campus.
Nombulelo: “Hello.”
Thato: “Hao (goodness), no baby? Love? Baby daddy?
Future husband?”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “What do you want, Thato?”
Thato: “Yoh (wow), this baby is already making you
hate me! Anyway, are you dressed? I’d like us to go
somewhere.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “I am so tired besides, I am
swamped with work right now. I am busy doing the
club’s accounts.”
Thato: “Leave that, you’re too smart. You can work it
out later. Or I can get someone to do it for you. You
shouldn’t be working so hard when you have me.”
Nombulelo: “Fine, where are we going?”
Thato: “Just be ready, you’ll see.”
He hung up and it sounded like he was indeed driving.
I was a little irritated but I heard it came with the
pregnancy hormones. I hadn’t heard anything from
Alfred nor Bongani ever since my little encounter with
Page 1625 of 1871

him and I was grateful for that. My life was filled with
peace for a few days so far. I freshened up since I had
taken a shower earlier on. While I was in the
bathroom, I heard him storm into the house.
Nombulelo: “Bathong (goodness) Thato. Don’t you
knock anymore?”
Thato: (Excitedly) “How can I when I always get so
excited to see you? Gosh, you’re so beautiful, do you
know that, my Queen?”
Nombulelo: (clicking tongue) “Voetsek (piss off).”
He would always touch me and kiss me in every place
he could find on my body. He just chuckled and
followed me around. I fetched my bag and put my
phone in it. He stood still and stared at me.
Thato: “You didn’t kiss me hello.”
I rolled my eyes and kissed him. Usually I would opt
for a peck on the lips but he would always stretch it
and give me a passionate kiss. Somehow it just
melted my heart and made all my irritability go away. I
smiled instantly after our kiss – every single time and
he just enjoyed that.
Thato: (chuckling) “Now that I have you smiling, shall
we go?”
Page 1626 of 1871

It was pointless to tell him where we were even going,
so I just let him lead the way. He opened the car door
for me as usual and off we went. I thought he was
taking me out for dinner or something, but he had
other things in mind. We drove until we reached one
of the most elite neighbourhoods in Boksburg. We
drove in and he placed his finger for access into the
complex. We were in Bartlett, one of the prestigious
neighbourhoods in Boksburg. Not even Alfred could
afford such a lifestyle. I was in awe – even though it
was at night. The houses we drove by were so
beautiful and spacious and luxurious, but none of
them topped the house he stopped and parked at.
My heart was beating so fast it was as if I sort of knew
what trick he had up his sleeve. He rushed to my door
and opened it with a wide smile on his face, while I
was reluctant to get out of the car.
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Why are we here?”
Thato: (excitedly) “You’ll know soon enough. Come.”
He wanted me to reach for his hand of which I did,
though my knees were numb. I could hardly walk. I
could see myself walking but I could barely feel my
feet and legs. We walked towards the beautiful house.
He opened the kitchen door and I nearly fell flat on
my face. There was a moderate number of furniture,
Page 1627 of 1871

but the house smelled quite new. The paint was fresh
and the furniture smelled new as well.
Nombulelo: “Whose house is this, Thato?”
Thato: (smiling) “It’s our house, love. I bought it – for
you, for us.”
I just knew what he had in mind. I refrained from
falling flat on my face.
Nombulelo: (shakingly) “But why? You didn’t have to. I
thought we spoke about this.”
Thato: “The truth is, Nombulelo, I love you so much
that I just want to make you happy. Yes, I know what
you said, but my heart is with you and I want you to
be safe – the both of you. I am not comfortable with
you being alone in your house especially in this
condition. I just want you to be safe, that’s all. I meant
no harm and I most certainly didn’t do it as a means
of controlling you.”
He said the word ‘safe’ quite a few times. He was fine
with me all along staying in my house until I met his
father, until I fell pregnant. Something didn’t add up
but I didn’t dwell on it that day. I just chose to accept
his gift because I could see it in his eyes. He was so
eager to make me feel at ease and to make sure that
nothing happened to me – to our child.
Page 1628 of 1871

Nombulelo: (nodding) “It’s so beautiful. I don’t really
know what to say.”
Thato: “Say nothing, just enjoy the view.”
He took me around a tour of the house, it had five
bedrooms, I mean who buys a house that big. The
rooms were so spacious, I kept asking myself who was
going to clean that entire house. I just absolutely
loved the design, the different colours and how he
didn’t even buy all furniture as he wanted me to
decorate the rest of the house. He just bought a bed
for our bedroom and a few couches here and there.
The rest was my task. He wanted me to decorate the
house. Thato had done such incredible things for me,
I just felt that I didn’t deserve him much. Life felt too
good to be true, it really did. I decided to embrace
what was happening, but at the same time I let my
guard down. I didn’t see danger striking when it did.
A few weeks later, I had slowly moved into the new
house. Life was settling in just fine and I was still
managing the club. Thato limited my work hours and
even bought me a car. What I hated was that he
bought me a Mercedes SUV, but he kept on
reiterating the safety part of it all. I had no idea why
he got me that car specifically but I was grateful it
didn’t come from my own pocket. I drove to Wattville
Page 1629 of 1871

in the morning and then later on I headed to Bartlett
later on. Millicent was then visiting me at the new
house on weekends and I could fetch her from school
as well. She didn’t need to get into a taxi. I was around
9 weeks pregnant by then and I was almost visibly
pregnant. I hated how fast my symptoms were
progressing with that pregnancy unlike the first one.
My breasts had grown nearly twice their original size
and my stomach looked like it was bloated. As light as
I was, I was getting even lighter. I couldn’t even
understand it and it was pointless to hide i
Chapter 72
Ecclesiastes 6:10 – “Whatever has come to be has
already been named, and it is known what man is,
and that he is not able to dispute with one stronger
than he.”
I found myself so distraught. It felt like I let my guard

down completely. Did I actually think that no one
would ever want to gain revenge from me? After all I
had done in life? Had I forgotten about Pulane and
Puseletso? It was just a mess, to be honest. I was
wondering where grown men I had never seen before
knew who I was and who my mother and
grandmother were. What really got to me was that
Page 1630 of 1871

they were speaking in Xhosa. I headed straight to the
house and found Thato cooking for us. The house
smelled so good, but the thought of myself nearly
dying or nearly being caught in danger got to me. I
found myself breathing heavily once I got into the
house.
Thato: (frightened) “What is it? What’s wrong?”
I tried to speak, but my heart was beating too fast and

I felt such a huge knot in my throat, making me feel
like I was battling to breathe.
Nombulelo: “I, I…”
Thato: “Hold on, let me get you some water. Come

sit.”
He placed me on the chair in the dining room and

rushed to the kitchen to get me a glass of water. I
could feel my hands trembling in fear, my body
riddled in shock and my entire face dripped in sweat.
Thato: “Drink up and breathe, slowly.”
Page 1631 of 1871

I finally managed to breathe and tears were just
rolling down my face. Thato, as sincere as he was,
looked at me with such a pained look on his face.
Thato: “Talk to me. What happened?”
I contemplated telling him but then had I kept it a

secret from him, he wouldn’t have forgiven me. I
took my time to calm down while he sat there
watching me anxiously and yet so patiently.
Nombulelo: (softly) “I was being followed, by some

guys. I don’t know them, but I think they were
customers at the club – I’m not sure.”
Thato: “What did they look like?”
Nombulelo: “I’m not quite sure, but they were tall. I

saw the driver quite well and he was light. They were
speaking isiXhosa. They knew me, Thato. They knew
my name, my mother’s name and her mother’s
name.”
Page 1632 of 1871

He was calm with a clenched jaw, taking down all the
notes of the information I was giving him in his mind.
It was quite strange.
Thato: “They spoke to you?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “I realized that they were

following me, so I waited at the robot nearby. The
driver asked me to roll down my window and when I
did, I heard him asking the other guy “is this her?”
Thato: (angrily) “You stopped and spoke to them?!

Do you realize how this could have planned out,
Nombulelo?!”
Nombulelo: “I know, but I had to know if I was right or

wrong. Anyway, I am safe now. Surely that’s all that
matters.”
Thato was bewildered. I had never really seen him

that angry at me – ever. He stood up.
Thato: “I have to make a few calls. You can go

change. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”
Page 1633 of 1871

Just like that he walked straight to the kitchen and
switched the stove off. He didn’t believe in making
food with an angry attitude. He said that would cause
the food to be bitter. I wanted to go to my room and
change, but I wanted to hear who he was on the
phone with as well.
Thato: “Yes, get me all the footage – ASAP! Find out

who they are and get back to me.”
I didn’t really know that side of him. I knew he had

connections but he was such a soft guy. Well, at least
that’s what I thought. He was stunned to see me still
sitting in the dining room.
Thato: “And then? I thought I asked you to go

change.”
Nombulelo: “I know, I just wanted to make sure that

we’re okay.”
Thato: (sternly) “We’re fine. Go change. I will dish

up.”
Page 1634 of 1871

I couldn’t read him at all at that moment. I just
wanted him to hug me and tell me that everything
would be okay, but he was just so cold. I probably
deserved it after what I had done. I went to change
and headed downstairs. I found him waiting for me
and dishing up for the both of us. He poured me a
glass of orange juice while he was having a glass of
red wine. He sat right across me that evening instead
of right next to me as usual. It broke my heart a little
bit. He was the only guy who could make me feel
literal emotional turmoil. I was trying my best not to
cry, so I decided to eat in peace. I thought he would
keep the conversation going, but he was quiet instead
making me hate myself even more. I hated
pregnancy just for that. I started crying unprovoked. I
just broke down right there. When I didn’t feel his
presence near me, I broke down even more. I felt
him stand up and come close to me. He sat on a chair
next to me and pulled it closer. He removed my
hands from my eyes and looked me right in the eye.
Thato: “Why are you crying?”
Nombulelo: (crying) “I don’t know. You’re not talking

to me – you’re mad at me. I mean, you’re barely
Page 1635 of 1871
looking at me. Hell, you’re not even sitting next to me
tonight!”
He was so calm, upsetting me even more.
Thato: “Is that the real reason why you’re crying?”
Nombulelo: “Is it a dumb reason?! You see what I

mean!”
Thato: “How do you feel right now?”
Nombulelo: (confused) “What?”
Thato: “Tell me how you feel right now – right this

moment.”
Nombulelo: “You can’t be serious.”
Thato: “I am.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know – angry, sad, hurt, scared!”
Thato: “Now imagine how I felt when you told me

that you stopped right next to those fuckers and even
Page 1636 of 1871

opened the window to talk to them. Nombulelo, I
have professed my love for you over and over again. I
have told you that I am in it for the long haul. I would
marry you right here and now, if you just say the
word. You don’t have to be a gangster around me.
You don’t have to be hardened around me. I am
supposed to be your protector, I have the means and I
have the connections. How do you think I would have
felt had you been killed tonight?”
I sat there and looked at him. He was so sincere and

quiet. I suddenly understood where he was coming
from.
Thato: “I know you can operate a gun very well, I

know you are not afraid of anything nor anyone, but I
am afraid for you. You can’t defeat everyone. Do tell
me whenever something bad is happening or when
you feel like it’s about to happen. I am on speed dial,
just call me. Don’t act like a heroine – please.”
I just nodded and sobbed even more as he finally

embraced me. I could smell my Thato’s beautiful
scent. It felt so good to feel my head on his chest. I
felt home.
Page 1637 of 1871
Nombulelo: “I’m sorry.”
Thato: (nodding) “I know. Now, wipe away those

tears and feed my child, please.”
Nombulelo: “Only if you come sit next to me like you

always do.”
Thato: (chuckling) “It’s nice to feel wanted and

needed for a change. I love you, gangster queen.”
Nombulelo: “I love you too, T.”
We continued to have our supper in peace. We

weren’t talking much but it felt so good. I felt truly
appreciated and being around him, in the comfort of
his presence gave me so much peace. I had no idea
that the very peace I was experiencing would be short
lived. We put the dishes in the dishwasher and went
to take a bath together. I always enjoyed such
moments with him. He was always so attentive
towards me. We made love while in the bath tub
together infusing our connection even beyond than
what it was. Once we were done we dried ourselves
Page 1638 of 1871
and got into bed. I wasn’t even aware of all the
missed calls I had received from Priscilla. I didn’t hear
my phone ring the entire time I was in the bathroom.
My heart started pounding yet again – Priscilla never
called me that many times unless it was a serious
emergency. I called her back in an instant, only to be
terrified by the terror in her voice.
Nombulelo: “Hey, P. I got your missed calls. What’s

up?”
Priscilla: (panicking) “Where are you?”
Nombulelo: “At Thato’s house. Why? Did something

bad happen?”
Priscilla: “The club is on fire. The fire brigades only

came here an hour ago. There’s nothing left of our
place, Lelo – nothing.”
I heard her break down, causing me to feel the same

way. That couldn’t be. We left the place in a good
state and even checked if everything was switched
off. It just didn’t make any sense.
Page 1639 of 1871

Nombulelo: “What are you saying to me? Are you
sure?”
Priscilla: “I’m out here right now along with Grilla and
Aeysha.”
Nombulelo: “I’m on my way.”
Priscilla: “No, you can’t come here – not in your

state.”
I wasn’t interested in how people felt about my

current state at the time. I had to see it for myself. All
this while Thato was looking at me waiting for me to
tell him what was happening.
Nombulelo: “I’ll be there soon. Thato will bring me

there.”
I hung up and got dressed.
Thato: “What’s wrong? Where are we going?”
Nombulelo: “The club is on fire. Please take me

home.”
Page 1640 of 1871

He nodded without thinking twice. It was as if I knew
something bad was going to happen hence I took the
money that was left in the safe. Something didn’t add
up, though. I tried to recall everything that happened
before I left the club. Priscilla and I were the only
ones left there. We were not reckless to that extent
and there were no customers left. Those guys who
followed me – could they have had anything to do
with it? I thought to myself. There was only one way
to find out. While Thato was driving my head was
racing with a million thoughts and scenarios. He
could tell I was just in my own little world and I was
brought back to life when he gently squeezed my
hand.
Thato: “It will be okay. Whatever happens, we will

work through it – together.”
I just nodded in agreement but I feared for the worst.

The club was inside my yard, which meant that my
house could also have been affected as well. It didn’t
take long for us to see the big smoke as we
approached my street. Thato parked a bit further
from my house – right across the street. So many
Page 1641 of 1871
people were outside staring at my downfall. Some
were happy – though they didn’t show it just yet. I
was not so sad about the club being on fire, that we
could have easily gotten back up. I was heartbroken
because it seemed as if my bedroom had caught fire
as well. I got out of the car so fast, I didn’t even afford
Thato an opportunity to open the door for me. He
rushed towards me and the moment I wanted to rush
closer to the house he stopped me.
Thato: “No, babe. Don’t go there. The fire could

affect you.”
I felt so much pain within me. Why me? Why? I was

doing just fine and then this happened. Priscilla
walked towards me and just gave me a tight hug.
Priscilla: “It will all be okay, we will bounce back. We

always do.”
I just nodded because I had no more words within

me. I stayed there until the fire was put out. I was in
disbelief. I stood there hoping that it would all be a
joke or just a horrible prank but it wasn’t. It took the
firefighters three hours to put out the fire. So much
Page 1642 of 1871
damage was done to the club that literally nothing
was left to salvage. The structure was still standing
but what good was it when all the wiring was
damaged? My bedroom though? Everything in it was
gone. My heart bled so much, I just didn’t want to
leave.
Priscilla: “T, please take her home. We will sort out

everything here.”
Thato agreed and just gently pulled me towards the

car. I had nothing left to say. We drove in silence all
the way back to his house. I couldn’t understand who
would have been so vile to set my club on fire. It
most definitely wasn’t an accident – I just knew it. I
got into bed without saying a further word while
Thato offered me anything and everything in the
house to try and make me feel better.
Nombulelo: “Thank you, T, but I just want to sleep.”
Thato: (nodding) “Are you sure you don’t want to see

the doctor? Just to make sure everything is okay with
you and the baby?”
Page 1643 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I’m fine. If I don’t feel better when I
wake up, I will let you know, okay?”
He nodded and we just slept. I found myself

dreaming again – except this time I dreamt of a
woman I didn’t know. I could recognize her face, but I
knew that I had never met her. She was sitting on a
beautiful golden chair dressed in white. That woman
was a real beaut. The more I walked closer to her, the
more resemblance I saw between her and my
mother.
Grace: “We finally meet, my grand daughter.”
I looked at her and frowned.
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Koko (grandmother) Grace?”
Grace: (nodding) “Yes, it is me. I have been vying for

your attention for years, and only now you have finally
allowed me into your life.”
I was beyond confused.

Page 1644 of 1871
Grace: “You will know soon enough. You have finally
learnt to trust your gut. It can’t be easy for someone
so hot-blooded like you.”
She spoke as if she knew me. I just looked at her in

disbelief.
Grace: “Don’t worry, spirit knows and sees

everything. Just because I wasn’t around to see you
in the flesh, it doesn’t mean that I don’t know you.”
Nombulelo: “Really? But I am not a spiritual person –

I don’t even believe in any of that.”
Grace: “You will, once you realize the gift you have.”
Nombulelo: “What gift?”
Grace: “Hang in there and you will see. You are not
like your mother – believe me, you’re not. She has
blocked so many of your blessings and despite it all,
she is still angry at you. Here I am, peaceful more
than ever before yet she chooses to be angry at you.
She killed my husband and I yet I forgave her. I refuse
Page 1645 of 1871
to let you go down the same path hence I keep
blessing you.”
Nombulelo: “Blessing me with what?”
Grace: “Where do you think that baby you’re carrying

comes from? I am your guardian angel, Nombulelo.
Regina and Gugu are still angry at you, but one thing I
have learnt about being of the spirit is that you
cannot hold grudges – it truly solves nothing. I refuse
to let that happen to my grandchildren.”
Nombulelo: “But I don’t understand why they are still

so angry at me. I mean I have only done what I felt
was right for my siblings.”
Grace: “People lack accountability at times. Besides,

Gugu has no control over your life and neither does
Rachel. She can assist you if she wishes, but because
you are not blood related she cannot do much. If you
just listen to my warnings and follow the right path,
your life will blossom.”
Nombulelo: “Where do I even start when everything I

touch turns into ashes?”
Page 1646 of 1871
Grace: “Follow my lead and you will blossom. Your
destiny is near, your fate is locating you. Just open
your eyes.”
I heard Thato gently shake me and wake me and that

is when the dream stopped. I had my very first
encounter of my maternal grandmother. It felt so
amazing, I could feel a difference in the bedroom as if
she was right there.
Thato: (surprised) “Who were you talking to?”
Thato: “You were talking in your sleep. It was as if you

were having a conversation with someone. Who’s
Grace?”
Chapter 73
Romans 12:14 – “Bless those who persecute you;
bless and do not curse them.”
Page 1647 of 1871

That very same evening, I was never the same. My
entire body ached all over. It was just difficult for me
to get some much needed sleep. Thato was very
supportive. He’d keep busy painting and drawing or
studying or even watching TV just so he could watch
over me. I was tossing and turning in the bed right
next to him. That was his way of looking over me. I
eventually managed to fall asleep for a while after I
could hardly get a few bites of food in my system. I
had yet another dream of my grandmother Grace.
What amazed me was that she was right next to a
man I had never seen before. He was quite light,
much like me but he didn’t say much. He was also
standing a little further back from her.
Nombulelo: “Koko (grandmother), I am back here

again. What did I do wrong this time?”
Grace: “Oh, child. It doesn’t mean that each time I

visit you, you are in trouble.”
Nombulelo: “Then why am I here?”
Grace: “I am waiting for you.”
Page 1648 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Waiting for me to do what?”
Grace: “Waiting for you to fully accept God. To fully

accept your gift and you will see what life has in store
for you.”
Grace: “You’re a smart girl. Life is unpredictable,

darling. It is full of surprises. Don’t ever think that
you won’t be caught in the firing line.”
Nombulelo: “Who’s that behind you?”
Grace: “Your fate awaits you – your destiny is calling.

Seek and you shall find.”
With that said, I woke up frustrated and drenched in

sweat instantly. I was panting, making Thato panic.
Thato: “What is it? Do you need some water? Are

you in pain?”
Nombulelo: (panting) “No, I am fine. I just need some

air.”
Page 1649 of 1871

I went to the balcony outside though I hated the sight
of balconies then. They reminded me of Pulane’s
tragic incident. Well, it wasn’t so tragic knowing
Alfred pushed her down deliberately. I felt so
restrained in the bedroom but the moment I went to
the balcony and felt the breeze of the cold, air outside
I felt so much peace and my chest started opening
up. I felt Thato’s soft hands touch mine as he gently
embraced me from the back.
Thato: “Are you okay now?”
I just nodded.
Thato: “If she really gives you so much grief, I can get
her taken to another hospice. I called the one she
was at and they simply told me that they wouldn’t
take her back even if I doubled the money. She is
impossible to nurse. Just say the word, and I will take
her back.”
He was willing to do anything and everything for my

peace of mind. Where would I even start to demand
such from him? I felt so bad for Nairobi also, on the
Page 1650 of 1871
other had I did cause her misfortune – whether I
denied or accepted it. She was to never have children
in her life, so how could she have been happy for me
being pregnant again with my second?
Nombulelo: “No, it’s okay. I don’t want her to feel as

if she has been abandoned, Thato. It doesn’t feel
right.”
Thato: “You are not the reason she keeps making bad
choices in her life, Nombulelo. She has made her
bed, now let her lie in it. I won’t let her cloud your
judgment like this. You have our child to think about.
Just think about it.”
Nombulelo: “I know you’re right, I know that, but I

just can’t throw her to the wolves. I cannot.”
Thato: (nodding) “Okay, but the moment I sense

danger – she is out of here. You understand me,
don’t you?”
I nodded in agreement though he wasn’t very happy

with that. It felt as if I cornered him, but I felt so sorry
for Nairobi. Sometimes people die at the hands of
Page 1651 of 1871
their loved ones simply because they know us better
than we know ourselves. They wouldn’t hesitate to
eat us alive. I decided to give my evil sister the benefit
of the doubt. Sure, you will judge me and blame me
for the person she is, but then – she made her bed.
She was rotten way before I came along and sealed
the deal. I managed to sleep afterwards and the
morning came. Thato had to wake up early as he had
an early lecture. It was time for Semester tests just
before the first Semester ended. I was left home with
the Devil herself. As I said before, I hated pregnancy
symptoms with a passion. I found myself waking up
around 8:30. That was way too late for a person like
myself. I was used to 4am mornings. I walked down
the stairs but I heard unusual movements in the
kitchen. I became alarmed immediately because to
my knowledge Thato was gone and Nairobi was well –
confined to her chair. When I walked into the kitchen
I was stunned to find her standing up and rustling
through the cupboards as if she had hidden
something in there. She didn’t even hear me walking
in.
Nombulelo: “What are you doing?”
Page 1652 of 1871

She jumped straight to her wheelchair and the
moment she saw that it was me, she became relaxed.
Nairobi: (relieved) “Oh, it’s you.”
She got back up and did her business as usual, leaving

me astounded. Her level of not caring was appalling.
Nombulelo: “Oh? So you can walk now and yet

you’re still confined to that chair?”
Nairobi: “What? I haven’t healed properly.”
I was getting enraged by her nonchalant behaviour.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “How long have you been able

to walk?”
Nairobi: “Oh, please. You sound so angry. Why? It’s

not like you’re the one paying for my treatments.”
Nombulelo: “Which is exactly why I am telling Thato.”
Nairobi: “And what will he do? Because I will literally

act like I can’t walk to save my own life. You’re stuck
Page 1653 of 1871

with me, sis. Face it. I am not going anywhere. I am
enjoying this house as well. Who knows? I might just
be a permanent resident. I might even babysit your
baby.”
She said that last sentence with so much sternness, I

could sense her unhappiness.
Nombulelo: (firmly) “Don’t ever assume. It’s not a

good look on you.”
Nairobi: “Oh, but I am not assuming. I asked you

earlier on if you were pregnant and you didn’t deny
it.”
I didn’t agree either.
Nairobi: “You’ve never been good at pretending or

hiding things from me.”
I got so annoyed just by looking at her that I became

full immediately. I didn’t feel like eating breakfast
anymore.
Nombulelo: “Make sure you clean up when you’re
done in here.”
Page 1654 of 1871
I turned around and walked away while she was still
trying to test me.
Nairobi: “Where are you going?! I thought we were

bonding!”
I ignored her and went about my business. I was just

so upset with myself. I suddenly regretted having her
around. I should have taken Thato’s offer when he
put it on the table. It was still not too late, but a small
part of me still felt sorry for her. I wanted her to
succeed no matter what choices she had made for
herself. I was indeed naïve; she would have never
changed. I went to the club later on that morning to
start doing some actual work for a change. I still felt a
bit tired, pregnancy was my worst enemy. I was
already getting swollen feet and a bloated stomach
but I still had to do what I had to do. Priscilla was
amazed seeing me there.
Priscilla: (frowning) “And then? Why are you here?”
Nombulelo: “Have I been fired or something?”
Page 1655 of 1871

Priscilla: “No, but I thought you’d be home, resting.”
Nombulelo: “I’m fine, honestly. I just need to work.

You can’t expect me to sit around all day and watch
TV, can you?”
Priscilla: “You’re right, I suppose. Where’s the devil’s

advocate?”
She meant Nairobi.
Nombulelo: “Oh, that one. I left her in the house. I

don’t know what she’s up to – most probably
breaking it down as we speak.”
Priscilla: “And you don’t think it’s a bad idea to leave
her in the house? Your house? All alone?”
Nombulelo: “No, what could she possibly do? We’re

surrounded by security and cameras.”
Priscilla: “Hehe, my friend. I am only going to say this

once and out of love. You’re starting to become blind
sighted. It is high time you start opening your eyes
and being the ruthless Nombulelo I know. Your sister
is a mess – we all know that. She still hates you for
Page 1656 of 1871
being the one that forced her body to abort. To make
matters worse, you’re the pregnant one now. You
cannot leave such a person in your house all alone.
How do you think it would make her feel knowing
that you’re expecting while you’re the reason she
doesn’t have any baby right now? She basically
blames you for everything.”
She was right. I was becoming blind sighted by the

truth and whatever was happening around me.
Priscilla: “Do you honestly think that her pitching up

on your doorstep was a mistake? No, she deliberately
got kicked out of that place so she could be your
problem – right under your roof. I know you’re not
stupid, my friend. Yes, you might have become a new
person now that you have found true love, but be
careful. Keep your eyes open. She’s bad news and
you know it.”
She was absolutely right. Had I listened to her, I

wouldn’t have ended up in prison yet again serving an
even longer sentence. I continued with my day
though it was a lot harder with everything on my
mind. I struggled concentrating but nonetheless I still
Page 1657 of 1871
soldiered on. There wasn’t much to do since we had
all the staff members. It was a breeze to see the club
flourishing the way it did. There was more room now
and much more space for people to relax in the VIP
section. Yes, we had a VIP section and were the most
prominent club in Wattville. We had come to a
decision and renamed it The Reginah, right after my
great grandmother. Till this day I still feel like she felt
like it was a real insult but anyway. It was always so
busy that I completely forgot that I had a bodyguard
following me and watching my every move. His name
was Tony. He was really good to me and treated me
so well that I forgot he was my bodyguard at times.
He wore normal clothing and one would never have
thought of his as a bodyguard let alone mine. Thato
never let his guard down especially then because I
was pregnant. He still felt like I was in so much
danger, though I didn’t agree with him. The fire
happened few weeks prior and we still didn’t see a
suspect and we just let it go I suppose. I was going
through some financial statements when Priscilla
came to invite me out for lunch.
Priscilla: “Come, let’s go eat, workaholic.”
Page 1658 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Is it time, already?”
Priscilla: (nodding) “Yes and your boyfriend strictly

told me to feed you every chance I get or else.”
She showed me a fist and I burst out in laughter. We

walked out and headed to the bar. The food was
already made for us so we dug in. Our lunch was
soon disturbed by a surprising guest. I didn’t even see
him walking in.
Bongani: (smiling) “Well, well, well. If it isn’t my son’s

gold digging girlfriend and her thieving best friend.”
Both Priscilla and I became so annoyed that we just

frowned at him for a few seconds.
Bongani: “Oh, I’m sorry. Am I not allowed to be

here?”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “What do you want, Bongani? This

is a club, isn’t it? And I highly doubt you came here to
see me.”
Page 1659 of 1871

Bongani: (chuckling) “Oh, don’t flatter yourself, doll. I
came here to check out if my son’s money is being
put to good use.”
Nombulelo: “You’re right – his money, not yours.”
Bongani: “Enjoy it while it lasts, Lelo. You don’t

belong in my family – you never will.”
He said that with so much affirmation that it actually

scared me a little bit.
Priscilla: “Did you see that?”
Nombulelo: “See what?”
Priscilla: “The way he looked at your belly. He gives

me the creeps.”
Nombulelo: “Bongani has never given me any good

vibes and besides, he doesn’t know that I’m pregnant,
I mean no one told him.”
Priscilla: “They don’t have to. You’re visibly pregnant.

Be careful, my friend. I don’t like the sight of him.”
Page 1660 of 1871

I too didn’t like Bongani but in my mind I highly
doubted that he could have been capable of doing
anything dangerous to me. Ever since he walked in,
Tony stood way closer to me and hardly left my sight.
Two hours later, Bongani saw it fit to come towards us
again and bid us farewell.
Bongani: “Hmm, I have to give it to you. You have

really outdone yourself this time. I mean, sure, not
even Alfred could have given you such a lavish lifestyle
lounge. Now that he’s coming out of prison soon, you
need to be very careful – especially now that you’re
expecting another man’s child.”
That raised an alarm and immediately my eyes

widened in shock.
Bongani: (amused) “You didn’t think I’d find out? I

told you, sweetheart, I know everything when it
comes to my son. You don’t belong – you never will.
Take care ladies.”
With that said, he just left leaving me gobsmacked.
Page 1661 of 1871

Priscilla: “Don’t you think perhaps you should call
Thato?”
Nombulelo: “And say what? Your creepy dad was

here giving me weird vibes?”
Priscilla: “No, I just think you should at least let him

know that his creepy dad was here. Something feels
very off.”
She was right yet again but I chose to go against her

gut.
Nombulelo: “It’s fine, really. What harm could he

possibly do?”
I forgot that I was the reason he was removed from

the Bar. I was the one who basically ruined his
marriage though it was already broken at that time.
Right then and there, Tony handed me his phone.
Tony: “It’s Thato.”
I took the phone from him.
Page 1662 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Hey, babe.”
Thato: “Why didn’t you tell me that my dad was

there?”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Let me guess, Tony told you.”
Thato: “It’s his job to keep me updated even when he

senses danger. Are you alright?”
Nombulelo: “I’m fine.”
Thato: “Come home, please.”
Nombulelo: “You’re over-exaggerating.”
Thato: “Just come home, Nombulelo.”
He hung up the phone out of frustration. I could

sense the panic in his voice. I got up and said
goodbye to Priscilla, while Tony took me to the car
and drove me home. It was a rather fine drive until I
could see that someone was following us. I hadn’t
had anyone follow me since that odd night. When
Tony noticed it too, that’s when I became alarmed.
Page 1663 of 1871

Tony: “We have company.”
He kept looking in his rearview mirror.
Nombulelo: (worried) “What do we do, Tony?”
Tony: “I will keep driving. Don’t worry, the car is bullet

proofed.”
It could only have been Thato bullet proofing my car.

Why on earth would he have thought of such a thing
though? My gut told me he knew more than he was
letting on. Perhaps he was from a far more
dangerous family than I had expected? Or had he
perhaps been a victim of some danger? I truly missed
the gangster I once was. Tony started driving faster
while texting. I assumed he was texting Thato, who
called immedia
Chapter 74
Proverbs 26:27 – “Whoever digs a pit will fall into it,
rolling.”
Page 1664 of 1871

I had no idea what to do at that point, my body felt
numb while at the same time I saw the both of them
smiling at me, smirking rather. They were so proud of
what they had just done.
Woman: “Let’s go already. The baby’s gone. It’s what

you wanted, isn’t it?”
Man: “Yes, but I feel like ending it all right now

already.”
Woman: “If you do that it will make it more obvious,

now beat it before things get worse.”
My eyes slowly shut down though amazingly I could

hear people speaking. They weren’t in the bedroom
any more but they were downstairs. I heard each and
every word they said. It was as if my soul had left my
body and could see everything. They were strolling
inside my house so proudly like they hadn’t just
murdered me – or so I thought. I literally felt and
thought I was dead.
Woman: “You should have just shot one bullet as we

agreed upon.”
Page 1665 of 1871
Man: “Come on, it’s not like you love her or anything.
Why the sudden care?”
Woman: “Still, you didn’t stick to your principles.”
Man: “Okay, how about this? I will double your

amount since you made it so easy to get to her. Got
it?”
Woman: “Triple it and we have a deal. I put my life on

the line for you here.”
Man: “You’re such a chancer. Fine. You got a deal.”
They shook hands, amazingly leaving me astonished

but not very surprised at her. I still could feel the pain
my body was going through but my soul was
wandering around the house. I saw him leave the
house while she casually sat and switched on the TV. I
found myself wandering around towards Tony’s room
and found him surrounded by blood. My immediate
thought was that he could have been dead despite
me being shot with three bullets.
Page 1666 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Tony! Tony, wake up!”
I heard the familiar voice once again.
Grace: “He will be fine, it’s you that you should be

worried about.”
Nombulelo: “Koko (grandma) Grace?”
I could see her, feel her as if we were of one entity.
Nombulelo: “I don’t understand.”
Grace: “Yes, there’s a lot you don’t understand, for

instance where the Makeba surname comes from.
Go and meet your body before you get stuck here for
good. Thato is on his way. Just hang in there and go
back.”
I tried to make sense of what she was saying to me,

but I found myself, my spirit rather being swiftly
moved back to my body. It felt so painful, I couldn’t
lift a finger. I gasped for air and looked around. I was
back in my body; I felt the pain I saw in spirit, in my
belly. The blood was so immense, I could hardly see
Page 1667 of 1871
my stomach. I tried calling out but I failed. I heard
the door open rapidly and I saw Thato’s image. He
looked at me as if he had seen a ghost.
Thato: (scared) “Oh, my God. Who did this to you?!”
I tried to speak but couldn’t though I was aware of

what was happening. It was as if my body, my spirit
was waiting for him to meet me in that circumstance.
I felt my eyes slowly give up on me and my eyelids
shut closed. I was awoken by beeping machines
around me. I could then move my arm and hand
though I felt drips were injected into me. Everything
was blurry for a moment but as soon as I opened my
eyes I saw Thato praying right next to me holding my
one hand.
Thato: (praying) “Dear Lord, I am not perfect, you

know that. I do not ask for much, all I have ever asked
for is a partner that understood me and loved me for
me. I ask that you protect Nombulelo, please let her
come back to me, Lord. That is all I ask. For if you
don’t, I surely will follow her. I am not threatening
you, Lord, I could never test you like that. I am
Page 1668 of 1871

showing just how immense my love for her is. In
Jesus Mighty Name I pray. Amen.”
I saw him wipe his tears away and when he saw my

eyes opened he jumped up in joy mixed with fear too.
Thato: (excitedly) “Oh my goodness! You’re awake!

Can you see me?! Oh, wait, let me call your doctor or
one of the nurses. I’ll be right back.”
He was so ecstatic but I couldn’t speak because I was

hooked up onto a ventilator. He rushed back within a
few minutes and held my hands yet again.
Thato: “I’m here, baby, I’m here.”
I saw the nurse come in and look at my chart and

then my machine.
Nurse: “She’s awake.”
As if I didn’t know that already.
Nurse: “Let me get your doctor, okay?”
Page 1669 of 1871

He nodded in agreement but the ventilator was just
taking too much of my breathing space so I slowly
removed it from my throat though he didn’t want me
to. He respected my decision and aided me in doing
so. Once the ventilator was finally out of my trachea I
managed to breathe like a normal person and tried to
speak to him. It was so hard but I managed.
Nombulelo: (clearing throat) “Where… am I?”
Thato: “You’re in the hospital, love. Do you

remember what happened to you?”
I tried by all means but my brain went blank and I

shook my head.
Thato: “It’s okay, it happens when you’ve been in a

coma or quite long. The doctor explained everything
to me. I never left your side.”
That alarmed me.
Nombulelo: “How… long have I… been in a coma?”
Thato: “Oh, about three weeks now.”

Page 1670 of 1871
I was quite amazed. I had been sleeping and out of
the world for literally three weeks and I had no idea.
The entire time, I thought I was living life only to find
that I had been having visions of what my life would
be like without any fear, trauma, heartache and
envious people. Life was good, Thato and I were
always happy with our baby girl, but we were dressed
in white – everyone around me was wearing normal
clothes but we were clothed in white, including our
child. She was so beautiful. When I heard him tell me
that I had been in a coma, I was shattered to say the
least.
Nombulelo: (teary) “What do you mean? You mean I

had been asleep this whole time?”
Thato: “Yes, babe. I am so happy you finally woke up.

I never left your side, I prayed to God and asked Him
to spare your life and bring you back to me. I was
talking to you each and every day.”
No wonder I heard him say all those beautiful things

in my dreams. He had sacrificed so much for me.
Page 1671 of 1871

Nombulelo: “What about your studies, Thato? Your
own life.”
Thato: “You are my life, surely you know that.”
I looked around and didn’t recognize that hospital at

all.
Nombulelo: “Which hospital am I in?”
Thato: “After all that happened, I just couldn’t take

the risk. I moved you to a hospital in Cape Town.
You’re safe now.”
The sadness in his eyes immediately made my mind

rush back to reality as I touched my stomach. It still
felt a little big but also a lot less hard at the same
time.
Nombulelo: (worried) “What happened to my baby?”
Thato looked at me and I saw the tears glistening in

his eyes.
Page 1672 of 1871

Nombulelo: (breathing heavily) “Thato, what is it? Tell
me!”
Thato: (voice breaking) “I’m sorry, my love. The bullet

hit you right in your uterus and went straight to the
baby’s heart. We lost the baby.”
Right after he said those last four words, his tears

rolled down his cheeks uncontrollably. I was in
disbelief. I was sleeping right though the entire
trauma for an entire three weeks?!
My brain refused to comprehend what he was telling

me.
Nombulelo: (teary) “I don’t understand what you’re

telling me, Thato. What exactly do you mean?!”
He started stuttering while trying to force back the

tears.
Thato: (stuttering) “I… the bullet… it went straight

through your womb and… right to the baby’s head.
I’m sorry, my love, I’ve been relaying this very
Page 1673 of 1871

moment in my head for the past three weeks. I didn’t
know how I was going to tell you.”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “Call the doctor.”
Thato: (frowning) “What’s wrong?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t believe what you’re telling me.

Call the doctor.”
Thato: “My love, I think it would be best if you – “
Nombulelo: (interrupting) “Now!”
I was spitting fire while trying so hard not to cry at the

same time. I was in pure disbelief. He truly didn’t
deserve that but he understood where I was coming
from. Imagine waking up from such a peaceful sleep
three weeks later only to be told such horrific news.
While he went out to call the doctor, I kept rubbing
my stomach, hoping and praying that I’d feel a kick or
some sort of movement, but even my stomach felt a
lot less harder. I just knew, I knew but I didn’t want to
believe it. The doctor came in rushing with the
nervous Thato. All he wanted to do was hold me, I
Page 1674 of 1871
could see the immediate yearning in his grief-stricken
eyes.
Doctor: “Ms. Makeba, you’re awake. Welcome back.

It was a tough three weeks.”
Nombulelo: “Doctor, where’s my baby?”
The look she gave him first before looking back at me

confirmed it. I felt the tight, thick knot in my throat
become a lot bigger as she spoke. She started off
with every doctor’s signature three word line.
Doctor: “I’m so sorry.”
She went on to explain the very same thing that Thato

explained. With each word she was saying further, I
felt her voice becoming a lot fainter as if it was
echoing further and further away.
Doctor: “I’ll give you two some privacy.”
Thato: “Thank you so much, doctor. I truly appreciate

it.”
Page 1675 of 1871

She nodded and left. He walked closer towards me.
He was even so afraid to hold my hand. It was as if
we had become strangers.
Thato: “I’m sorry, my love. I really am sorry.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t understand. I saw her, we were

with her – the three of us were together.”
Thato: “It was only a dream, love.”
My tears finally rolled down my throat, etching right

through my cheeks like burning fire. I finally let them
roll down and when he saw that – the vulnerability he
had been waiting for, his tears did the same. We cried
in silence without saying a word to one another. He
finally held my hand with great caution of course. I so
badly wanted to return the favour – to tell him that
we’d be there for one another. I too wanted to touch
him back, to caress him, to feel him but I just didn’t
allow myself to. I felt as if the entire thing was all my
fault. It all came back to me – slowly. Those previous
few weeks were replaying in my head like an old
movie. I could see from where I was seated how
strange Nairobi’s appearance was and how peculiar
Page 1676 of 1871
she had been acting in the house. When she noticed
me touch my stomach, she changed her facial
expression briefly. I know, I had finally felt what she
felt when I did the exact same thing to her. I had no
remorse when I did it. I felt as if I had done her a
favour. I didn’t anticipate the outcome of my actions;
that my own sister would be barren because of me. I
never thought that she was perhaps acting out as a
way to cope with what I had done to her. I expected
anything but her seeking revenge towards me. It hurt
like hell, I won’t lie. My heart died right along with my
daughter. Yes, it was a girl – just as I had been
dreaming of those previous few weeks. The doctor
said that the damage to my uterus was so bad, they
did try their best to repair it. However, they were not
even sure if I would even be able to carry a child to
term or carry one at all in the future. They had to
remove one fallopian tube as well since I was shot
more than once. I had invited a sheep in wolves’
clothing into my house – a wolf I had created. That
entire time lying on that hospital bed, I was crying not
just because of the great loss I had endured, but
because of the consequences of my actions. I had to
admit to myself, internally that I indeed was a horrible
person. I made my sister like that and for as long as I
Page 1677 of 1871
was with Thato, trouble would most probably follow
me everywhere. The good Nombulelo died that day, I
had lost myself. It was indeed check mate on
Nairobi’s side. She must have been having a blast, I
thought to myself.
I must have cried myself to sleep because I was

woken up the following morning by Thato gently
shaking me.
Thato: “Hey, wake up.”
Nombulelo: “Hmm, what time is it?”
Thato: “It’s 7am. How did you sleep?”
He looked as if he had aged since the last time I had

seen him. It was the first time I actually saw him with
his beard. He never left it unshaved.
Nombulelo: “I slept fine. I can’t say the same for you.

How long have you been sleeping on that couch?”
Page 1678 of 1871

Thato: “Ever since you were admitted. Don’t worry
about me, I’ll be fine. Listen, I quickly have to go meet
up with my mother. Is it okay if I leave you here?”
Where exactly would I go? I was confined to a

hospital bed.
Nombulelo: “Of course, it’s okay. Go, I’ll be fine.”
He was rather hesitant to leave me there, but it

seemed as if he had to do whatever it was. I mean,
he did have a life to live as well. I felt so bad that he
was putting everything in his life on hold for me. It
didn’t feel right.
Thato: “Okay, I promise I’ll be back as soon as I am

done.”
Nombulelo: “Don’t worry about me, go.”
He walked out hesitantly while I was still trying to

piece together all the events that occurred. I mean, I
remember seeing Nairobi wheeling herself into my
bedroom with a man I couldn’t recognize as he shot
me. That voice was so distinct but I hated my
Page 1679 of 1871
memory for being so slow that time. I tried so hard to
remember but I couldn’t pin point whom it was.
Breakfast came and I started eating. The food wasn’t
half bad, though. Halfway through my meal, a nurse
walked in. I was a little alarmed by his stature and the
way he walked in. He didn’t even greet me, instead
he took the chart and looked ahead with his back
facing me. Something told me that he wasn’t quite
right. His aura was dark and too offish for me.
Nombulelo: “Excuse me, are you new here? I haven’t

quite seen you before.”
Man: “I’m surprised you can recall whom you have

seen despite being in a coma for three weeks.”
And there it was, that voice – the very same voice I

heard on that fateful day. My stomach turned
immediately. He turned around slowly and removed
his mask. He even had the audacity to smile at me. I
should have known.
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Bongani.”
Page 1680 of 1871

Bongani: (smiling) “The one and only. I am glad to see
your memory of me returned. It would have been
such a shame if you hadn’t been able to remember
me.”
He smiled at me so proudly.
Nombulelo: “Have you come to finish me off?”
Bongani: “Of course, not. Why would I do that? Who

would I play with once you’re dead?”
He was slowly antagonizing me and enjoying it.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “Then what the fuck are you

here for?! You got what you wanted, isn’t it?”
Bongani: “Oh, honey. What you’re going through is

nothing compared to what you have done to me. You
see, this is just the tip of the iceberg. I cannot wait to
see you suffer the very same way I have suffered. You
took everything that was important to me away from
me without fail. Now you think you can take my son
away from me? Think again. I am coming for all
you’ve got, Nombulelo Makeba. Rest assured, all
Page 1681 of 1871
those you sent to prison will come and collect what
belongs to them – your fate.”
Chapter 75
Proverbs 17:11 – “An evil man seeks only rebellion,
and a cruel messenger will be sent against him.”
I must have been so wrapped up in my own little

world, when he came back to me and tapped me on
my shoulder.
Thato: “Hey, your friends are here. They asked me if

they could come. I hope that’s okay.”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Sure. But I literally just got out

of the hospital. Surely I should change.”
Thato: “You look beautiful in anything.”
He gently kissed my forehead and went to open the

door. I heard the stern knock on the door and I could
tell that was Priscilla. The moment he opened the
door for them it was as if the house was filled with so
much joy after a long haul of misery.
Priscilla: (shouting) “Guess who’s here!”

Page 1682 of 1871
I could see a glimpse of them. It was Grilla, Aeysha
and Priscilla. They had tons of gifts, food and drinks in
their hands of course. One could never do without
drinks when it came to Priscilla.
Priscilla: “Hey, T. How are you doing?”
Thato: “I’m alright, how are you?”
Priscilla: “I’m good, man. Where’s my friend? I am

dying to see her.”
Thato: “In the lounge.”
She rushed towards the lounge while the other two

greeted Thato. When she saw me, I saw the little
spark in her eyes disappear and faint tears appear.
She dropped the gifts and drinks on the coffee table
and gave me a fat hug. We said nothing to one
another for about two minutes while I was in her
arms. I knew she felt my pain. Aeysha and Grilla
walked in right after and allowed us to have that
moment. Priscilla knew exactly what I was going
through because she too had gone through the same
Page 1683 of 1871
thing years ago. After we broke the hug, she wiped
both her tears and mine. Aeysha and Grilla both
hugged me as well. We were finally having our girls
moment – the moment I had been yearning for. Sure,
we were little criminals, but we too were human
beings. Thato walked in and took away the drinks.
Thato: “I’ll put some of these in the fridge and bring

you some proper plates.”
We all just nodded in thanks.
Priscilla: “How are you really doing, my friend?”
I hated crying – she knew that but at that moment I

had to be vulnerable. My closest friends were around
me and had come to support me.
Nombulelo: (teary) “To be honest, I am not doing so

well.”
Grilla: “Let it all out, boss. We’re here for you.”
I just cried and spoke my heart out. I told them

everything I had been feeling from the day of the
Page 1684 of 1871
shooting to the present moment. I only knew of
Priscilla who had a similar experience and because of
that she could never be able to have more children. I
had no idea that most women actually had one thing
in common – child loss.
Grilla: (teary) “Sister boss, I know you might think that

I am just trying to make you feel better, but the truth
is that I too suffered a miscarriage at a point in my
life. You all know me as a tough girl, but I was gang
raped when I was 14. Three men – grown men took
my virginity and raped me for four days straight. I
thought I was going to die but they left me for dead. I
woke up in hospital and received medical attention.
Four weeks down the line I found out I was pregnant.
My mother wouldn’t hear of it. She hated the idea of
abortion and yet there I was, the victim of men raping
and impregnating me. I was so angry at her, at life, at
God. She trusted God so much yet there I was in the
position I was left in. One day, I was walking back
from school. Everyone was talking about me, I was
that girl with the gang rape stigma who was now
pregnant. I just wanted to die. I saw a bus driving by
and I just acted. I threw myself right in front of it and I
was badly injured. I was lucky to even still be alive
Page 1685 of 1871
after all the reconstructive surgery they had to do on
my face. I had a few broken ribs but one thing I was
glad about was the fact that the baby was gone and
even my uterus had to be removed along with my
fallopian tubes. I was free of that seed I was forced to
carry. My mother was even angrier at me for doing
that and threatened to disown me. She was poor,
lived in a shack and had an abusive husband to begin
with who was not even my father by the way. I was
never a happy child after that incident, so I set her
shack on fire one day when she was asleep. I don’t
regret it – if I could, I would do it all over again.”
She spoke with so much conviction and it was the first

time that I heard Grilla’s voice breaking. She was
speaking from a place of deep hurt. I finally got the
answers to the scars on her face. It was no wonder
she had become a lesbian. Men really do put us
through a lot.
Aeysha: “I dated this man once, he was my sugar

daddy. I adored him because he did everything for
me. He bought me gifts, took me on vacations and
promised me the world. The moment I fell pregnant,
he wouldn’t hear anything of it. Suddenly his wife
Page 1686 of 1871
and children meant the world to him and I was just a
dishrag. He threw R2000 at me and told me to have
an abortion by the following day. When I didn’t
report for the clinic, he came back after a week and
promised me that we’d raise the child together. He
drugged me while we were having dinner. Next thing
I knew I was tied up on the bed with my legs spread
wide open undergoing a forced abortion. I was 21 at
the time. I remember when I woke up and tried to
scream he drugged me again and I passed out. I woke
up the following day, alone in my bed with a stack of
cash right next to me with a side note that read ‘don’t
call me ever again’. A few days down the line I fainted
on campus and was taken to the nearest hospital only
to be told that my uterus had an infection that had
gone sceptic. I had my uterus removed at 21. I will
never forgive him hence I don’t feel remorse for any
man whatsoever.”
We were bonding over trauma, over men who had

fucked us over. We all shared that in common and I
could tell that hell indeed hath no fury like a woman
scorned.
Page 1687 of 1871

Grilla: “So, what do you think we should do, Boss
lady? Should we get rid of him? I get Nairobi is your
sister, but surely we should take care of Bongz.”
Nombulelo: “No, he’s my man’s father. I can’t do that

as much as I want to. Let’s wait and see. I feel a
much harsher punishment should be put in place for
him. He deserves to lose what he has and more.
Besides, we can’t talk about that here.”
Priscilla: “She’s right. So, when are you coming back

to work? You do need some distraction.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know since I need physio to get

up and walking again. It might take a while.”
Priscilla: (sigh) “I see.”
Nombulelo: “What is it? You seem like you want to

tell me something.”
Priscilla: “I’m afraid I have some sort of bad news.”
Nombulelo: “Spill it out already.”
Page 1688 of 1871

Priscilla: “I got a message from Diesel. He’s coming
out of prison soon. All of them.”
I was in shock. No wonder Bongani made reference

to Alfred the time he had come to see me.
Priscilla: “I am not telling you this to make you panic,

but we need mechanisms in place. They’re not going
to leave us hanging and let everything go just like that
– especially Alfred.”
I honestly thought they were not friends anymore

after the whole court saga. They basically turned on
one another, but I guess their brotherhood was
thicker than everything else.
Nombulelo: “When are they being released?”
Priscilla: “In a month’s time.”
Nombulelo: “Which means Bongani had everything to

do with it. I will speak to Nkuna and find out what he
knows about all this. In the meantime, we should
relax. They haven’t tried anything as yet. Let them
Page 1689 of 1871

strike and we’ll be ready for them. The entire
Wattville will know who we are.”
I was gearing myself up for a war that had not even

started yet. Bitterness was flowing through my veins
and that was anything but a good thing. I enjoyed
having some company and seeing my friends again.
They left hours later while Thato cleaned up without
worry.
Nombulelo: “Do you need any help?”
Thato: “No, I’m okay. I’ll be right there.”
I nodded and waited for him. He came to me and the

moment he started speaking I noticed he reeked of
cigarettes.
Thato: “Do you want to go to bed?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Yes, were you smoking?”
Thato: (nodding) “Yes, I just needed to clear my

head.”
Page 1690 of 1871

He wheeled me to the spare room which he had
prepared with new bed sheets just to accommodate
me. He was truly a God sent. He placed me in bed
and got in on his side. I could tell the entire matter
was weighing heavily on him.
Nombulelo: “Do you want to talk about it?”
Thato: (shaking head) “Not really. Do you?”
Thato: “I just didn’t expect to spend my birthday with

my future wife in a hospital bed this year.”
Oh, shit. I had forgotten his birthday.
Nombulelo: “Oh, Thato. I am so sorry I forgot. It

totally slipped my mind.”
Thato: “It’s okay, it’s not your fault. You were still
unconscious at that time.”
Nombulelo: “I’m really sorry, still.”
Page 1691 of 1871

Thato: “It’s not your fault. I am just grateful you’re
alive.”
Nombulelo: “Do you blame me?”
Thato: (frowning) “What for?”
Nombulelo: “For allowing Nairobi into the house? I

mean, I know how you felt about her. You had your
own hesitations about her and I just didn’t listen.”
My voice started breaking all over again as the tears

started flowing. He gently touched my cheeks.
Thato: “Hey, I don’t blame you at all – at all, okay? It’s

not your fault, Nombulelo. You just see the good in
everyone even your sister. It wasn’t your fault. She
did us dirty along with my father but rest assured they
will pay for what they have done. You know what
Hebrews 10:30 says?”
I still knew my Bible though I wasn’t fond of the

church nor God.
Page 1692 of 1871

Nombulelo: “For we know him who said, “Vengeance
is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge
his people.”
Thato: “Exactly. Leave him to God. He will get his day.

All I want is for us to go back to loving one another.
We have a future together, you just have to have
faith. I know what you’re already thinking.”
Nombulelo: “What do you mean? This is the second

time today you’ve said that to me.”
Thato: “I know you want to leave me, Nombulelo. I

know, I am probably not the best looking guy for you
nor did I do my best protecting you from danger, but
what I do know is that I love you. I love you so much.
I would do anything for you. I won’t force you to stay
should you feel the need to leave me, but just know
that I am asking for another chance.”
Nombulelo: (teary) “Thato, you have never

disappointed me – not one bit. I don’t know why you
think so highly of me when I am the total opposite of
that. If anything I should be the one to feel lucky to
have you because I just don’t deserve you. To be
Page 1693 of 1871
honest, yes, I did think that perhaps we should go our
separate ways. I mean your father won’t stop until he
gets what he wants which is me leaving you. He said
that to me in my face at the hospital. I don’t want to
endanger you any more than you already have.”
Thato: “I’m a big boy, I can face my fears. You leave

my father to me – he’s not God. I love you and that’s
all that matters. We’ve both been through a horrific
time. Just give it time and we can heal – together.”
We embraced one another and cried yet again in

each other’s arms. Thato always made me feel
vulnerable without weary. For the first time in my
love I loved someone so much it terrified me. I was
afraid of what was to come. Bongani had probably
teamed up with Alfred and his team again and who
knew what they had in store for me? With Thato
being in the picture I wasn’t too sure that he’d be safe
from them so I had to get my A-game on par.
Life went on although we had to adjust to a new

normal for the next few weeks. The physiotherapist
Page 1694 of 1871
would come and have sessions with me at home
while Thato attended his lectures. He would come
home immediately afterwards and check in on me
whenever he could. I never told Millicent about the
incident, instead we just told her that I was away for
three weeks. Thato was checking in on her every
time and that helped a lot. I wanted to be in good
shape so that when she came back, she wouldn’t
notice anything weird. I did tell her that I lost the
baby though, she was very unhappy about that but I
told her to focus on her studies. I forced my body to
co-operate and two weeks later, I was up and walking
again. Things were a little awkward between Thato
and I, though we could hold conversations like before
and we still loved each other. On a particular day I
decided it was time to go back to Wattville and start
living my life again. I couldn’t stay being cooped up in
the house like a prisoner. I had enough of that in
prison. Thato was making us breakfast that particular
morning.
Nombulelo: “Good morning.”
Thato: (smiling) “Good morning, pretty lady. You look

so beautiful today.”
Page 1695 of 1871
Nombulelo: “Thank you. What’s for breakfast?”
Thato: “An English breakfast for you, madame.”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “Thank you.”
Thato: “Where are you headed to today? You’re

dressed up I see.”
Nombulelo: “I want to go see what’s happening at the

club. I’ve been in here for way too long.”
Thato: (nodding) “I understand how you feel, but it’s

only been just over two weeks. Are you sure you’re
ready?”
Nombulelo: “If not now then when will I ever be

ready?”
Thato: “I get you. Well, you should wait for me. I’m
coming with you.”
Nombulelo: “But, I thought you had plans?”
Page 1696 of 1871

Thato: “Yes, but I can alter my day for you. Please, let
me come with you. You haven’t completely healed
after the surgery.”
I knew arguing with him was going to get me

nowhere.
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Fine. We can go together but

please, don’t hover over me. I don’t want you
altering your life for me.”
Thato: “Yes, ma’am.”
We indulged in our breakfast and when it was time to

go, he was literally waiting for me in the garage.
Thato: “We’re taking your car, but I’m driving.”
I was still a patient in his eyes so I just agreed. We got

into the car, but something just felt a little off. It was
as if my gut was speaking to me yet again. I must
have frowned while we got into the car.
Thato: “What’s wrong now?”
Page 1697 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I don’t know. Perhaps we should skip
today and not go?”
Thato: “Come on, you wanted to leave the house.

Besides, this might be your way of trying to get me to
stay home.”
Nombulelo: “No, I mean I just have a bad feeling.”
Thato: “That’s your anxiety talking. Face your fears,

my love. I am right with you. Besides, Tony is right
behind us, okay?”
I nodded but my spirit wasn’t appeased. I was not

feeling that day at all. We drove towards Wattville
and I kept looking out the window to see if we
weren’t being followed. We made it to the club
unharmed with no followers in sight. Tony parked
right next to us and followed us into the club. My
friends were so excited to see me and I was quite
happy to see the place flourishing even though I
hadn’t been there for a long while.
Grilla: (excitedly) “Well, well, well, my queen is back!

Welcome back, sister boss! Why didn’t you tell us you
Page 1698 of 1871
were coming? We’d have organized something for
you.”
Nombulelo: “Nonsense, Grilla. I just decided to come

and see what’s what. I missed you guys.”
Grilla: (nodding) “I hear you. We have everything

under control but let me not keep you waiting. I have
security to uphold here.”
She winked at me leaving me smiling and I went in. I

saw a lot of customers as usual even while walking
upstairs. The upper lounge was still more
sophisticated and that’s where all the dangerous men
were. They were all dressed properly and some in
suits but they were the culprits. I looked around
thinking I might see someone from my unpleasant
past, but luckily no one was there that I could
recognise from that part of my life. I found Priscilla
walking out of the office. She was so happy to see
that she hugged me as always.
Chapter 76
Exodus 21: 23-25 – “But if there is harm, then you
shall pay life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand
Page 1699 of 1871

for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for
wound, stripe for stripe.”
I fell to the ground of shock. I thought he had shot

me but when I looked and touched myself I saw no
blood nor did I feel any pain. Instead, I froze for a little
while. Priscilla came out and ran towards me.
Priscilla: “Oh, my word! Are you alright? Did he shoot

you?”
Nombulelo: “No, I don’t think so.”
Priscilla: “What the fuck is happening? How did they

get out?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know, but I might have an idea.”
Priscilla: “All this – the shooting. It was just a tactic to

get Thato away from here. What do we do?”
Nombulelo: “We can’t just leave. It will look

suspicious. We need to answer the police’s questions
first and assess that no one was injured.”
Page 1700 of 1871

Priscilla: “No, you can’t do that. Grilla and I will do
that while you figure out what you’re going to do
about Thato.”
I agreed and sat right outside. Something didn’t add

up. It was all planned. Why did they take Thato
instead of us? It was a deliberate move. Thankfully
Tony was wearing a bullet proofed vest underneath
his clothes so he was unscathed.
Nombulelo: “You really have nine lives, don’t you,

Tony?”
Tony: “I sure do. I’ll make a few calls. Thato still has
his phone with him so it will be easier to track him like
that.”
I nodded while I sat there in pure disbelief. I missed

something. I didn’t want to leave that morning but
Thato forced me to. He was now kidnapped by my ex
boyfriend and his delinquent friends. Then I got the
weird sms from an unknown number basically
threatening me. “What am I missing” I thought to
myself. Thato’s mother called me right then while I
was trying to think.
Page 1701 of 1871
Nombulelo: “Hi, Ma.”
Gemma: “Oh, my God, Nombulelo. Are you alright? I

just heard from Tony. Is he going to be okay?”
Nombulelo: “I hope so, Ma. I just – I don’t know.”
Gemma: (crying) “This is all Bongani’s doing. I just

know it. He’s been talking about getting rid of you for
good and now with me finalizing the divorce, he’s just
going overboard with getting my son kidnapped.”
I didn’t want to believe it until she finally told me.

Bongani actually had the balls to do that to his own
son? He was just so cruel. Was I that much of a
threat to him?
Nombulelo: “Don’t worry, Ma. We’ll get him back.”
Gemma: “I’m so sorry you had to go through this.

We’ll get him back, let me make a few calls. Our
Private Investigator is being briefed. I will keep in
touch, okay?”
Page 1702 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Okay, ma. Bye.”
She sounded more worried about me than anything.

Another SMS came through. “Still don’t believe me?
Tit for tat, bitch.” Who the fuck was that? I dialled
the number immediately and no one answered
though it was ringing. At least it was open so it would
have been answered eventually. I sat there and
thought of what to do. Alfred and his crew were cruel
but they couldn’t have taken Thato very far. Which
meant that he was probably at one of their houses.
Zoro was not part of them that day. I had no idea
where he even was. I saw Alfred, Biggie and Diesel. It
seemed as if Alfred was indeed the only and new
mastermind of the team. He wanted to lure me to
him, it was his plan. There was no way he was going
to hurt Thato unless he wanted something from me. I
scrolled through my phone until I came across the
number he used to threaten me. I unblocked it and
dialled it immediately. He answered.
Alfred: “Well, well, well. It took you long enough. For

a moment I thought you were quite dumb after
prison but I can see you still have brains, baby girl.”
Page 1703 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Where is he, Alfred?”
Alfred: “Oh, come on, now, Lelo. Am I not Alfie

anymore? You can do better than that.”
Nombulelo: “Don’t bullshit me, Alfred. Where is

he?!”
Alfred: (chuckling) “You know where I live, don’t you?

If you still remember, you’ll meet me here. Don’t
worry, your toy boy is safe. He’s my insurance after
all.”
I hung up and started fuming. I couldn’t leave all

alone and let them capture me inside of his house. I
waited for the police to finish questioning each and
everyone of us, which took about two hours. Two
fucking hours of nonsense. Nkuna arrived soon after
the questioning had begun.
Nombulelo: “Nkuna, what’s this?! You told us that

they were still in prison.”
Nkuna: “I thought so too, I am afraid I was just as

blindsided as you were, girls.”
Page 1704 of 1871
Priscilla: “So, what now?”
Nkuna: “It seems as if the brown envelope had finally

reached the prosecutor’s office. I am working on it.
Are any of you hurt?”
Nombulelo: “No, but they took my boyfriend. He’s at

Alfred’s house.”
Nkuna: (nodding) “He won’t hurt him. It’s obvious

what he wants – you. Let me wrap up here and we’ll
escort you and send our men there.”
I nodded in agreement and waited. Literally five

minutes after my conversation with Nkuna, I received
a text from Alfred. “Since when are you a snitch,
Lelo? Are you friends with the police now?” I looked
around in fear trying to figure out who was texting
him or telling him about my plans and he texted me
back. “No police, otherwise we will kill him. You
come alone.”
I was so frustrated. I felt so helpless. “Why does

everything I touch go wrong?” I thought to myself.
Page 1705 of 1871
Priscilla: “What are you thinking of doing now?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know, but I will have to face him

whether I like it or not.”
Priscilla: “Let me come with you.”
Nombulelo: “No, that’s too risky. What if he holds the

both of us hostage?”
Another text message from him came through.
“On second thought, bring P with you. Diesel has

been dying to say hello.” I started freaking out, I was
practically paranoid. I was looking around trying to
figure out who was the exact snitch around me. I
started feeling so on edge.
Tony: “Hey, any news?”
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Alfred has him. He said he

wants me to come with Priscilla – alone.”
Page 1706 of 1871

Tony: (nodding) “Okay, go. I have you covered. I will
find a way to get to him. Text me the location,
actually send me your live location right now.”
I didn’t want to speak out so loudly because clearly he

had quite a lot of people on his payroll. What I
couldn’t understand was Bongani’s role in all of that. I
mean, his friends had his son in captivity. Where was
he in all of that? Something didn’t add up – especially
the last minute stunt that Alfred pulled by taking
Thato. While I was sending Tony my live location, yet
another text message from that unknown number
came through. “Tick-tock, bitch. You’re clearly not as
efficient as you make yourself to be. P.S. your lover
seems to be losing a lot of blood, hurry up now.” That
message confirmed everything; Bongani was not the
one texting me. It couldn’t have been. I dialled the
number immediately and it was answered but it
didn’t seem like the person knew they had answered
the phone. I did hear background noises, a few
people arguing while some were playing music.
Man: “What the fuck were you thinking, Alfred?! Are

you trying to get us sent back to prison?”
Page 1707 of 1871

I recognized that voice – it most definitely belonged to
Biggie.
Alfred: “Relax, Bigz. I have it all under control. Would

you have rather left him? It was the perfect
opportunity.”
Diesel: “That was not part of the plan and you know
it. Bongz won’t be happy man.”
I refrained from saying hello and put the phone on

loud speaker for Priscilla, Grilla and Tony to hear.
Alfred: “Eh, man, fuck Bongani! He allowed his little

bitch to get with my woman! Lelo is mine! Don’t you
get it?”
Diesel: “I totally get it, but come on, man. Let it go.”
Alfred: “Look who’s talking. You’re barely out of

prison and already you’ve hooked back up with her
sister.”
What the fuck? Nairobi was there too? I heard her

voice.
Page 1708 of 1871

Nairobi: “Excuse me, Alfred. Don’t drag me into your
mess.”
Alfred: “You seem to have quite a big mouth with that

phuza face of yours.”
Diesel: “Ah, man. I won’t do this again. I won’t have

another Puseletso situation this time – otherwise I’m
out.”
I got so mad that she must have heard my voice from

the other end of the line.
Nombulelo: “I’m going to fucking kill her!”
Biggie: “What is that? Whose voice is that?”
Nairobi: “Oh, shit. My phone must have dialled itself.”
Alfred: “Are you fucking insane?! They could be

tracking us! Hang up!”
Thankfully Priscilla was already tracking the call while I

was on the line.
Page 1709 of 1871

Priscilla: “I got the location. Yes, they’re indeed at
Alfred’s house.”
Tony: “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go get

him.”
In my mind I already knew Alfred must have been

planning a Plan c on his side. There was no way he
would have become so sloppy – he wasn’t even in
prison for a very long time. We got into Priscilla’s car
and drove straight to Alfred’s house. The police were
just so lousy and decided to follow us along with
sirens on. It wasn’t going to end well, I just knew it. I
received a text message from Alfred halfway to his
house. “Change of plans, I am sending you a
location. Meet me there with P only. If you come
with any other people, you’ll be responsible for any
other casualties.” I felt so helpless when I showed
Tony and Grilla that message.
Tony: “No, I can’t let you girls go there alone without

me.”
Page 1710 of 1871

Nombulelo: “We don’t have a choice. He’s bitter and
dangerous.”
Tony:” Listen to me, I’ll ditch the cops. Grilla and I will
find backup transportation. I will track the car and
meet you there. It might take a while but I will get
you all out of there, okay?”
I nodded with tears in my eyes as he gave me his gun.

I hadn’t even healed properly from my C-section. I
had literally just had the operation 4 weeks prior. My
life was a real mess. Tony managed to get it done
while Priscilla and I managed to speed off. The
location, we knew very well. It was one of the dodgy
warehouses they used to do shady deals at. I guess
some things just never change. While we approached
the gate in the middle of nowhere, Alfred texted me
again. “Cellphone reception is bad here, I am warning
you. If you have come with anyone else other than P
– they will die.”
Nombulelo: (panicking) “Priscilla, perhaps we

shouldn’t have done this.”
Page 1711 of 1871

Priscilla: “I am not afraid of them and neither should
you be. We’re going in there to get your man.”
Nombulelo: “No, I don’t want you to lose your life

because of me.”
Priscilla: “We sent them to prison together and

together we shall get out of this mess. Come on.”
The gate was unlocked for us and we drove in. It was

so dark but when I finally saw the car they were
driving, I was a little relieved. It was not an ambush.
The moment we walked out of the car, Biggie
approached us with a riffle pointed at the both of us.
Biggie: “Hands up – both of you.”
We did as told and he told us to have our backs facing

him. He approached us and searched us. He
removed our guns from us as well as our cellphones.
Biggie: “Hmm, I see you two bitches still come to a

war prepared.”
He chuckled while looking at our confused faces.

Page 1712 of 1871
Biggie: “Well, I suppose your sense of humour is
gone. Keep walking.”
He was right behind us and ordered us to walk into

the warehouse. Approaching the house, it looked
quite a bit like a whore house. There was alcohol
everywhere, and there was Nairobi, sitting on the
couch looking like death herself with some other girls
I didn’t recognize. I couldn’t even give her a piece of
my mind, since Biggie ordered us to keep walking.
We were sent to the other wing where the action
happened the most. We rarely used that warehouse
back in the day since cellphone reception was
horrible there. The moment we walked in, I saw
Thato tied onto a chair with a bloody face. Alfred was
standing right before him about to light a cigarette,
with Diesel right next to him. My heart was torn into
pieces. I rushed towards Thato.
Nombulelo: (crying) “Thato, are you okay? Oh, my

God, my love. Are you alright?”
Alfred didn’t take my display of affection too well.
Page 1713 of 1871

Alfred: (smoking) “Get away from him.”
I didn’t listen to him, instead I was trying to wipe away

the blood on Thato’s face.
Alfred: “Get the fuck away from him!”
Nombulelo: “You’re a fucking monster, Alfred! When

will you get the message?! I don’t want you!”
He did what I never thought he’d do. I felt a hard

blow right to my stomach and I felt my stiches
become unhinged immediately as I fell down.
Priscilla: (shouting) “What the fuck, Alfred?! She just

had an operation a month ago! Are you insane?!”
Alfred: “Well, I was very sorry to hear that you lost

that bastard child. What is it – your third, hey? You
must be one unlucky bitch.”
Nombulelo: “What do you want? I’m here – let him

go.”
Page 1714 of 1871

Alfred: “No. He took my girl so he has to pay for it.
Besides, he’s my insurance.”
Nombulelo: “Do you honestly think that Bongani will

let this slide? He’s his son.”
Biggie: “She might have a point, dawg. I mean, the

instructions were that he shouldn’t be harmed. What
do you think he’ll do to us when he finds out the
current state of his son?”
Alfred: “I don’t care. I don’t take too lightly to little

boys messing with what belongs to me.”
Nombulelo: “You should have thought of that long

before. We were over long before you went to
prison, Alfred. Why the fuck can’t you understand
that?”
He looked at me and I didn’t flinch one bit. He could

really see just how serious I was about Thato and that
made him angry.
Alfred: “Everyone out.”
Page 1715 of 1871

Diesel: “What do you mean?”
Alfred: “You said you wanted P here and now she’s

here. Take her somewhere else to talk. Biggie you
leave us alone. I want to be alone with Nombulelo
and Thato, or should I say Bongani Junior.”
Priscilla: “I’m not going anywhere without her!”
Alfred: “Diesel, shut your bitch up or I’ll do it for you.”

Chapter 77
Proverbs 20:24 – “A man's steps are from the Lord;
how then can man understand his way?”
I was finally discharged from the hospital that very

same evening. I was in so much pain from the re-
stitching, but nothing compared me for the emotional
pain that followed. It felt as if my heartstrings were
slowly being ripped apart from my heart itself. I
couldn’t comprehend losing Thato like that but I
understood why I had to lose him. When I thought of
ending it myself on my own terms it made so much
more sense, but practically being forced to do it was
just unbearable. I didn’t get to spend his 20th birthday
with him the way we had intended to. Basically I was
Page 1716 of 1871
going through a midlife crisis before my actual life
even began. I still had to recover while taking care of
Millicent and having to think of what to do with
Alfred. My life was such a mess. Priscilla was there
for me that entire night and stayed with me until the
following morning. She rushed to the club early in the
morning to sort out the mess that Alfred and his
stupid crew made. I truly felt like my life was falling
apart from all angles. Despite all that, Grilla and
Priscilla get the ship going while Aeysha was missing
in action. She wasn’t answering anyone’s calls or texts
which truly confirmed to me that she was behind our
little downfall. It was bad enough my own blood
sister was behind it all, I wouldn’t even have been
surprised if they were planning my funeral.
That entire week was hell for me. I could barely eat or
sleep. Tony had been gone to care for Thato and his
mother. I did try to contact her though, but she
specifically begged me not to keep contact for a while
in a polite manner, though. I couldn’t force her to
speak to me. Thato was still recovering that was for
sure hence he wasn’t contacting me either. I had to
slowly let go of him and all the pieces of him that I
knew. Whenever I thought of food, I felt full though
Page 1717 of 1871
my body was weakening by the minute. I would cook
his favourite food and play his favourite music but the
more I did that, the more I just set myself up for
failure. The fact that his clothes were still in the house
made it all worse for me. When I texted Gemma to
ask when she would like to come fetch the clothes, I
received no response. When I tried calling her, I
realized I had been blocked. Something within me
told me she didn’t hate me, she was just doing it for
the right reasons. I mean, I most probably would
have done the same. I wasn’t angry at her
whatsoever, but I was quite wounded. After exactly 7
days of moping around and feeling sorry for myself, I
realized I needed to get up and be the person I
needed to be. Life wasn’t going to stop because I was
going through a crisis. I got up that morning around
10am. I took a shower and got out the best outfit I
could find. I was feeling a lot less pain from the
stitches and they were due to be removed soon, so I
decided it was time for a major change in my life. I
grabbed my car keys and drove to the mall. Yes,
Gemma was kind enough to schedule repairs on my
car. Though they were fully bullet proofed before, the
bullets still managed to get through the wind screen
and hit Tony, so they upgraded that part and ensured
Page 1718 of 1871
that the entire car was bullet proofed. I wasn’t too
sure if it was her idea or Thato’s. I just missed his
voice. It would have helped knowing that he was
okay at least. I decided to do a little wardrobe
change, though we were approaching winter season.
I needed to look different and try out different things.
I had my natural hair all my life so a new hairstyle
wouldn’t hurt anyone. After my shopping spree I
went to the salon and found a lovely hair dresser. I
still have no idea why the best ones are gay.
Hairdresser: (smiling) “You must be new here. What

can I do for you?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t really know, but I want something

completely new and bold. I am thinking of cutting my
hair.”
Hairdresser: “Well, they say when a woman cuts her

hair she prepares for a completely new journey. I say
we do that and bleach it. What do you think?”
I never figured that I’d look good in anything short let

alone with such a bold colour but I thought I was not
going to lose anything.
Page 1719 of 1871
Nombulelo: “Sure. Let’s do it.”
He took his time with my hair and was so talkative,

though I didn’t mind. He told me about his life and
when I told him that I had just gone through a really
rough break-up, he told me his entire dating history.
After I was done with my hair, I decided to get my
nails done. I could hardly recognize myself. I looked
like an absolute diva. I was not worried about being
followed or anything like that and for some reason it
was as if Alfred and his crew just went AWOL. I dug
up news concerning Zoro and yes, he too got out but
relocated to someplace else. He was probably tired
of being the bad guy. I went to check in on the club
and at least the windows and everything else was
replaced, even the security was upgraded. That was
fine and insurance covered the most but it also meant
we were losing money. The club hadn’t been
operating for a week while money was going out. The
losses we suffered were still not being explained and
Aeysha was still missing in action which was
absolutely annoying me.
Page 1720 of 1871

Nombulelo: “What’s the status with the loan shark
business?”
Priscilla: “Well, it doesn’t look very good. The people,

including the Chauke’s have decided to run rogue. It’s
as if they’re not afraid of us.”
Nombulelo: “Hmm, how much do all those people

owe us?”
Priscilla: “Well, R60 000 – excluding interest.”
Nombulelo: “Okay then. It’s high time we started

showing people were not to be messed with.”
Priscilla: “What do you mean?”
Nombulelo: “They signed their contracts and we gave

them enough time to repay us. Who do they think
they are? We’re going to show people what we do to
those who don’t pay us back.”
Priscila was hesitant at first, but we needed the

money. My siblings had to eat as well. I still paid her
mom to look after the twins and what was going to
Page 1721 of 1871
happen with Millicent’s school fees not to mention
residence fees? I couldn’t rely on Thato to keep
paying for that. Grilla, Priscilla and I went out. We
started with the very first customer who owed us the
most money, which was Betty Chauke. She clearly
had forgotten who I was. We looked for her only to
find her hosting a women’s prayer day at church.
Well, the bitch was dressed in Prada yet she couldn’t
pay us back. The three of us walked into that church
like we owned it. She was of course surprised to see
us but the desperate Betty was gone in her eyes. She
was still as arrogant as the first day I met her.
Betty: (smiling) “Oh, well. Look who decided to join

our prayer meeting, girls. How may I help you? Have
you found Jesus?”
Nombulelo: “Hmm, only you would say such. We’ve

come to collect our money, Betty.”
Betty: (chuckling) “Oh, come on. I don’t know what

you’re talking about.”
Priscilla: (chuckling) “This bitch is taking us for a ride.”
Page 1722 of 1871

Betty: “Excuse me? You’re in the house of the Lord.
Have some respect.”
Nombulelo: “Did the house of the Lord matter when

you came to loan money from us, Betty? You’re
fucking with my livelihood and since you’re acting like
you didn’t do anything to me, it’s high time I show
you exactly what I am capable of.”
Betty: “If you’re not here to pray I think it would be

best for you to leave.”
Nombulelo: “Grilla, you did say that maroon Jaguar

belongs to her, right?”
Grilla: “Yes, sister boss.”
Nombulelo: “Let’s go do our magic.”
We walked out of the church with her shouting and

hurling insults at us but we didn’t care. We had a tow
truck just outside loading the vehicle onto it. It was
bad enough that she tried to spin me a shit story and
be the arrogant bitch she had always been.
Page 1723 of 1871

Grilla: “Don’t be shy, boys. Load it up, we have things
to do.”
Betty: “You can’t just take my car! It doesn’t belong to

you!”
Nombulelo: “It does now, Betty. If you don’t pay me

back the money you owe me within 5 hours, consider
your car stripped for parts.”
Betty: “I don’t have R20 000 lying around!”
Nombulelo: “You should have thought of that when

you told my business partner Priscilla here to go to
hell when she came to collect the money you owe us.
I want it with interest this time.”
We got into our car leaving her ranting outside the

church with everyone even neighbours watching.
Some were even taking videos of the entire thing but I
didn’t care. Grilla was driving us while Priscilla was
right at the back along with me.
Priscilla: “Well, Amber Rose. Had I known you were

going back to our bad bitch days I would have
Page 1724 of 1871
excluded myself. I don’t want to go back to prison,
Nombulelo, but damn, we sure do need the money.”
Nombulelo: “I told you, I won’t let you go back there.”
She nodded in agreement and we went to the next

client. With each and everyone that owed us, we
took whatever we could pawn or sell off again,
starting from furniture to their vehicles. I was not
going to be kind to anyone anymore – especially
those who messed with me. I decided to save the
best for last, Pastor Chauke. His wife might have killed
my siblings, but he was the main problem. Had he
not taken advantage of her and tried to rape me, the
world would have been a better place. We looked
everywhere for him, but couldn’t find him. Even his
wife refused to tell us where he was, but I was sure
that we’d find him very soon. Another week later,
there was still no sign of Chauke nor Aeysha so it was
time to go back to my old ways and sort people out
the old way. The club was finally open again and with
all the upgraded security we had, it was as if we were
never out of business. Priscilla and I decided to be all
hands on deck since Aeysha decided to drop us out of
nowhere. Something was off, I could feel it but
Page 1725 of 1871
whatever she had planned she was surely going to
regret it – rest assured. They always say God helps
those who help themselves of which that was exactly
what I was doing. Priscilla and I were keeping eyes on
all our employees on all floors while Grilla was
manning the cameras and the security outside. So far,
there was no sign of anyone attempting to steal
anything from the club during that period. Since well
the only suspect was not around at the time, I had
confirmed that it was her. God decided to throw
Chauke to the wolves because lo and behold he
decided to pitch up at the club with two young girls by
his side. He looked a lot better than he had when he
first came to ask for money. He was dressed in his suit
and looked a lot clearner too. Something was
definitely up. He was broke literally a few months
prior to that and the next thing he looked like a rich
bastard. Him being at the club obviously meant that
he either wasn’t afraid of us or he had no idea what
we had done to Betty. Speaking of Betty, we did strip
her car for parts since she failed to pay us back. We
got more than we needed from that activity. I
decided to serve Chauke myself.
Page 1726 of 1871

Nombulelo: (smiling) “Moruti (pastor), how nice of
you to join us here.”
Chauke: (chuckling) “Oh, what? Are you going to

judge me now?”
Nombulelo: “Oh, I wouldn’t dream of that. You are

the one person who taught me not to do that, right?”
Chauke: “I see you still remember. At least I taught

you a thing or two unlike your mother, right?”
He wanted to rile me up so that I could retaliate. He

still hadn’t changed and unluckily for him, I still had a
bone to pick with men just like him.
Nombulelo: (smiling) “Hmm, of course you did.

You’ve always been such a great mentor. What can I
get you?”
Chauke: “Give me a bottle of your most expensive

champagne.”
Nombulelo: “The most expensive one we have goes

for R15 000 a bottle.”
Page 1727 of 1871

Chauke: “Did I ask for the price? Give it to me.”
He was being pissy about it and something told me he

wasn’t going to be able to afford it, or would he
have? My question was how exactly.
Nombulelo: “Of course, Moruti (pastor). Your wish is

my command.”
Those girls were so young, most probably around 16 if

not 18 but I couldn’t understand what exactly they
were doing with him. He was just an old pastor.
Something just didn’t add up. After serving the
bastard I decided to pick Priscilla’s brain again.
Nombulelo: “Hey, P. How much exactly did Chauke

and Betty borrow from us?”
Priscilla: “Well, altogether they owe us around

R40 000 without interest. Altogether they need to
give us R60 000.”
Nombulelo: “Let me see how they’ve been borrowing

money.”
Page 1728 of 1871
There was a pattern.
Nombulelo: “Didn’t you notice this pattern of theirs?”
Priscilla: “No, what do you mean?”
Nombulelo: “They started borrowing small amounts

and then paid it back on time. With each month the
amount they were borrowing separately became a lot
more up until they borrowed R20 000 each – two
months ago. Don’t you see it? It seemed as if they
really needed start up capital for something big.”
Priscilla: “Something like what?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know, but something that

involves young girls like those two.”
Priscilla: (surprised) “You don’t think he’s pawning

young girls off to rich men, do you? Like a trafficking
scheme?”
Nombulelo: “I wouldn’t put it past him.”
Page 1729 of 1871

Priscilla: “Let me get Grilla to ask around.”
I monitored Chauke and just when I thought he didn’t

have any money to spend, he took out quite a lot of
R100 and R200 notes and handed them to those two
girls. He called one of our waiters and ordered more
drinks.
Chauke: “Keep the tip, you do seem like you need it.”
What I did know was that the church could have been
a setup for money laundering but someone had to be
his sponsor, right?
Priscilla: “Hey, Grilla said she’d get back to us in an

hour.”
Nombulelo: “Cool. Any news on Aeysha?”
Priscilla: (shaking head) “No, it seems as if the bitch is

planning something. I can feel it, you know.”
Page 1730 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I know what you mean, but either way,
we will set her as an example to everyone else who
might be thinking the same. Speaking of which, isn’t
it odd for you that she disappeared right when Alfred
and the crew came out of prison?”
Priscilla: “Actually, I never thought of that. I mean,

she’s one person who’s really good at social media, so
let’s check it out.”
We sat and scrolled through her social media pages

but saw nothing, up until one odd picture she took – a
week prior. I couldn’t believe it. Aeysha was young
and naïve but I thought she was a go-getter. For her
to betray us like that was the biggest scam of them all.
Priscilla: (angrily) “There’s no way – no fucking way.”
Nombulelo: “The proof is in the pudding.”
Priscilla: “How could she do such to us?”
Nombulelo: “I let my guard down – we both did.”
Page 1731 of 1871

My skin irked thinking of what her master plan was.
She was part of the business, we were business
partners – all four of us. That was quite a dumb move
but after all we had been through together, I assumed
she was on the same page as we were.
Nombulelo: “Find out all you can about her, her

background, her family – everything.”
Priscilla: “On it.”
Aeysha thought I was stupid, but I had seen betrayal

from friends before. It was nothing new to me. She
was going to pay a hefty price. I refused to be
dragged ten steps back after everything I had just
been through with Thato. While it seemed like
problem after problem came following me, Grilla
indeed kept her end of the deal and came back to us
with information.
Grilla: “I have some news, partners and it’s not

pretty.”
Page 1732 of 1871

Grilla: “Well, your suspicions were right. Chauke is
laundering money in the church, he started months
ago.”
Nombulelo: “For whom?”
Grilla: “Bongani, Thato’s father. He used Alfred and

the crew to do it for him but Chauke started getting
greedy, so he and Alfred and his crew set up their
own little fun on the side.”
Priscilla: “What kind of fun?”
Grilla: “Trafficking young girls. He pretends to be a

monied sugar daddy and when they fall for his tricks,
he gets them taken away – probably shipped
somewhere very far. He gets them from the church
camps he organizes as well.”
The shock in me, I couldn’t believe it.
Nombulelo: “Let me guess, Betty knows.”
Grilla: (nodding) “She’s in on it.”
Page 1733 of 1871

Priscilla: “What’s the current status with her?”
Grilla: “The stupid bitch decided to buy another car –

an even bigger and better car right after we took her
Jaguar today.”
Priscilla: “This is not our problem, Lelo, so what are

you going to do with this information?”
Nombulelo: “I can’t give it to the police. They’ll do

nothing about it and knowing the justice system, the
investigation will be a dead end before we know it.”
Priscilla: “Still, this is dangerous. We don’t know the

kind of people Chauke is dealing with.”
Nombulelo: “If he truly was dealing with very

prominent people, then he wouldn’t still be living in
Wattville. Besides, imagine if your daughter or
anyone you knew was part of this scheme. Imagine if
they took her – would you still give it to the cops?”
Priscilla: “No, of course not. I’d blow his brains out.”

Chapter 78
Page 1734 of 1871

Acts 20:29 – “I know that after my departure fierce
wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock.”
I was minding my business while thinking of a way to

get Nkuna to investigate Chauke and finally nab
Alfred. I was playing detective in my own mind,
literally two days later in the office. I was scrolling
through Facebook when I came across a very
disturbing post. “Wattville tragedy claims life of
young girl, one hospitalized. Two young girls were
supposedly out partying at a prominent club in in
Wattville owned by young women, one of which is
parolee Nombulelo Makeba when tragedy struck.
The story is unclear, however the two friends were
said to have left together with an unknown
gentleman and one of them was found dead this
morning near the taxi rank, while the other is
currently hospitalized and has not regained her
consciousness as of yet. Police spokesperson and
detective Nkuna said that the investigation is still
underway and no suspects have been nabbed. The
deceased young girl’s family however did say that the
young girl was not much of a partygoer and was doing
her matric year. This is such a tragedy as Wattville has
Page 1735 of 1871

never experienced such before. This is still a
developing story.”
I got immediate goosebumps. Those two girls were

the exact girls that were at the club with Chauke. I
called Priscilla immediately.
Nombulelo: “Hey, P! Come see this!”
Priscilla: “What is it?”
I showed her the article and with each word she read
she couldn’t stop gasping in shock. When we showed
it to Grilla, she wasn’t very surprised.
Grilla: “I am telling you, he did it. The girl must have

tried to escape hence she’s still alive. I wouldn’t be
surprised if she’s found mysteriously dead tomorrow.”
Something told me that there was something much

bigger to the story. Who was Chauke connected to
exactly? I was trying to dig deeper into my brain
when he stormed into my office.
Chauke: (shouting) “Where is she?!”

Page 1736 of 1871
Grilla: “Ekse (excuse me), this is not your church nor
your house. You can’t just barge in here.”
Chauke: “This place reeks of criminals.”
Nombulelo: “Yet here you are, Chauke. What do you

want?”
Chauke: “First you steal my wife’s car and now you

took Aeysha.”
I could tell that Priscilla was just as astounded as I was.
Nombulelo: “What are you talking about?”
Chauke: “Don’t act stupid. I know she was with you

last night. The two of you took her, where did you
take her to?”
Nombulelo: “I have no idea what you’re talking

about. We haven’t seen Aeysha in weeks.”
Chauke: (chuckling) “You don’t know what you’ve

done, do you? You’re fucking with my livelihood,
Page 1737 of 1871

Nombulelo Makeba. You’ll end up just like your
mother, I am telling you. Once Alfred is done with
you – you won’t even want to look at yourself in the
mirror.”
With that said he turned around and tried to walk

out.
Nombulelo: “You still owe me my money, Chauke.

You come here accusing us of something we know
nothing of. You must have done a deal with the devil.”
Chauke: “I’ll give you your money back – with interest

if you give me Aeysha back. We all know you have
her, so do me that favour before shit gets really ugly.”
He walked out while Priscilla was staring at me in

disbelief.
Priscilla: “Do you mind telling me what that’s all

about?”
I relayed the entire story of what we did to Aeysha,

leaving her speechless.
Page 1738 of 1871

Priscilla: “I honestly don’t know what to say. Do you
realize what you have done?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I have. I started a war which I am

prepared to finish. Take a good look at those girls, P.
Imagine if that was your daughter, or my sister. It
could be anyone. He was clearly using Aeysha to lure
these girls. I have to do something about it.”
I decided to call Nkuna.
Nkuna: “Ke (This is) Nkuna.”
Nombulelo: “Hi, it’s Nombulelo. Can we talk?”
Nkuna: “Nombulelo Makeba. What a lovely surprise.

I hope you’re not in trouble.”
Nombulelo: “Not at all, but I have some information

for you regarding the two girls that are all over the
media.”
Nkuna: “Okay, I’ll be right there.”
Page 1739 of 1871

Nombulelo: “No, they have eyes and ears
everywhere. I can’t meet with you here at the club.
Let’s meet up at my house. I’ll text you the location
and the time.”
Nkuna: “Sharp.”
Nombulelo: “And lese, don’t come dressed like a cop.”
I hung up while Priscilla was quite unsure of what to

do. I was starting something but I knew that I could
finish it – I had to. There was no way Chauke was
going to get away with so much more. When you
have something big to handle you feel like the time is
just on standstill. I kept looking at the time
impatiently.
Priscilla: “Why don’t you go meet up with him and I’ll

lock up here with Grilla?”
Nombulelo: “You’ve already done so much these past

few months, you deserve a holiday.”
Priscilla: “I’ll be fine. Besides, I still have my gun.”
Page 1740 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Thank you, P. I owe you.”
Priscilla: “Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask, any news

from Thato or his mom?”
Nombulelo: “No, nothing.”
Priscilla: (nodding) “Okay. Well, you will meet again,

rest assured.”
Nombulelo: “Yes, if it’s God’s will.”
I laughed at myself for even saying that but I knew

that was something that Thato would say. He was
such a firm believer in God and had so much faith in
Him. I was tempted to try and call him but I decided
not to. His social media was quiet and the last thing
he posted was a picture of us, just days before the
shooting incident. I would have been lying if I had
said that I didn’t miss him. I got into my car and drove
home. I texted Nkuna my location once I arrived. I
quickly took a shower since it might have taken him a
while to arrive. The moment he was at the gate he
texted me and I sent him the access code for that
particular day.
Page 1741 of 1871
Nombulelo: “Hey, thank you so much for meeting up
with me.”
Nkuna: “Nice house. Did you buy it? I mean no

offence.”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “None taken. No, my

boyfriend, well – ex boyfriend bought it for me.”
Nkuna: “Well, the guy gets shot and dumps you?

That’s not very good of him. He doesn’t strike me as
the type either.”
Nombulelo: “We didn’t exactly break up. It’s

complicated.”
Nkuna: “Alright then. Let’s get down to it.”
Nombulelo: “Would you like something to drink? This

might take a while.”
Nkuna: “Sure, I’d love a cup of coffee.”
Nombulelo: “Alright then. Coming right up.”
Page 1742 of 1871

I made us both some coffee and the moment we sat
down, I started telling him everything that happened
from the night that Alfred attacked Thato and told
him everything I knew about Chauke and Betty to
Aeysha. Of course I didn’t tell him that I lured her into
the shack and forced drugs on her. Okay, I twisted the
story a little bit but for my own benefit. What was she
thinking pawning young girls to other men as sex
slaves? I even sent him a copy of the video when
Chauke was at the club with the two girls. I was a
modern girl, all the CCTV footage from the club was
saved on a cloud. I had to add a little bit of drama and
send him the footage of the day Alfred was shooting
at my club along with his measly friends. They
deserved it.
Nombulelo: “So, she stays at that shack currently and

is using drugs.”
Nkuna: “You do realize what this means, don’t you?

You are a witness now. Being at the club on a daily
basis while we’re investigating this will be too risky.
Especially now that I know someone from my team
Page 1743 of 1871

might be working with them. You need to go into
witness protection.”
Nombulelo: “Forgive me for being blunt, detective but

I mean witness protection has never helped anyone in
this country. I can look after myself.”
Nkuna: “You do know that I am a cop, don’t you? And

I don’t want you co-operating in criminal activities.”
Nombulelo: “I can assure you, my gangster days are

over. I just have to use different methods you do to
get what I want, that’s all.”
Nkuna: “Like repossessing cars that don’t belong to

you?”
Nombulelo: “Look, I am in business. If someone

doesn’t want to pay me my money after signing a
contract, I take something of theirs to fill the gap. You
of all people should understand.”
Nkuna: (chuckling) “I see you’re bargaining with me,

Makeba. Rest assured, I appreciate what you’re doing
for me but you will need to be careful. I will take
Page 1744 of 1871
Chauke into questioning but knowing him and his
connections, shit might hit the fan thereafter and he
might be out within a day. I will try my luck. You take
care of yourself, okay?”
I nodded and thanked him as he left my house. I

knew that things were going to be bad but I had to
take the risk. I was trying to be good, you know. For
the first time in my life it felt like I was doing
something good, something meaningful with my life.
I truly hoped that the information I had given Nkuna
was going to be meaningful. I wasn’t too worried
about Tony no longer being by my side nor being
alone in the house since I was safe. Thato ensured
that all the staff was investigated after I got shot. I
was hopeful that no one would be bribed to gain
entry into my house, otherwise I was fucked for sure.
I set my alarm and went to bed. I was puzzled by yet
another dream from my grandmother Grace. She still
appeared so beautiful, dressed in white. She wasn’t
smiling as she always would and was with a man I
couldn’t recognize at all.
Grace: “Nombulelo, when will you learn?”
Page 1745 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I don’t understand, Koko (grandma).
What have I done now? I mean I am finally starting to
seek purpose in my life.”
Grace: “At what cost? Do you think it’s right what you
did to that girl? Why are you trying to play hero?”
Nombulelo: “You said to me to follow my destiny and

that it is my duty to help people.”
Grace: “Not now, now is not the time. You are playing
with fire and it will get you noticed really quickly.”
Nombulelo: “I will take my chances.”
Grace: “Very well, then. I guess I shall sit back and

watch. I warned you.”
I woke up drenched in sweat, and this time Thato was

nowhere near me. No one was around me to
comfort me nor bring me some warm milk to soothe
me. The house felt way too big for me to live in alone,
but such is life. I had to adjust to it. Slowly but surely I
Page 1746 of 1871
started roping myself back into sleepless nights. I dug
into my work, some nights I sat and read books. It
was the only thing keeping me sane. At least
whenever Millicent was visiting I’d keep myself
company with her presence. Exactly two days after I
spoke to Nkuna, I received intel that Aeysha was taken
into custody by the police. There was footage of her
at some café in Boksburg with one of the two girls –
the one who was in hospital. At least I knew that I
wasn’t barking up the wrong tree. Things were finally
looking up and I could tell that Chauke was finally
going to get his day. I had been long waiting for it. It
wasn’t very long when Grilla came in to tell me
disturbing news.
Grilla: “Sister boss.”
Nombulelo: “Hey, G. What’s up?”
Grilla: “Eish, I am afraid I have some bad news.”
Nombulelo: “Speak to me.”
Grilla: “The girl passed away just an hour ago.

Apparently she went into shock.”
Page 1747 of 1871
That didn’t sound right at all.
Nombulelo: “Who goes into shock while

unconscious?”
Grilla: “My question exactly.”
I wasn’t too happy about that.
Grilla: “There’s more.”
Grilla: “Chauke was taken into custody along with

Aeysha, but he got out.”
Nombulelo: “Let me guess who got him out of there.”
Grilla: “Bongani.”
Nombulelo: “Fuck. This can’t be good for me – for

us.”
Page 1748 of 1871

Grilla: “I don’t think Nkuna would have told them
about what you know, sister boss. Also, my contact
tells me that Aeysha didn’t confess. Instead, Nkuna is
trying to keep here there for drug use. I don’t think
she’ll be there for very long for as long as Bongani
made a way.”
The last time I heard he had lost his license to

practice. How dare he, though? Those people tried
to kill his own son yet he was running around keeping
them out of prison. I felt uneasy all of a sudden, it
was my gut speaking to me again. I dismissed Grilla
but something didn’t feel right. The moment I
stepped out of my office, my eyes landed right on
Alfred sitting across my office. It was as if he had
chosen that specific spot just to keep an eye on me.
He had already ordered drinks, he looked a bit
different though. It wasn’t very hard for me to spot
him though he had grown a bit of his hair and his
beard. He smiled at me and raised his beer. I was
very annoyed and ignored him. I was about to go
back to my office, but I felt a strong grip on my left
arm.
Page 1749 of 1871

Alfred: “Come on, you can’t still be mad at me, can
you? I just want us to talk.”
Nombulelo: “Let go of me, this is not your place. You

think you’re safe in here?”
Alfred slowly let go of my arm.
Alfred: “Okay, I am sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.

Perhaps I came on too strong. It’s all those months in
prison. Let’s talk, please.”
I let him follow me to the table he was sitting at. He

just couldn’t stop drooling at me with his disgusting
eyes. Looking at him just made me want to vomit,
especially after what he had done.
Alfred: (smiling) “How are you doing?”
Nombulelo: “Oh, I don’t know. How do you think I am

doing after tearing my stitches wide open so much
that I had to be re-stitched? I don’t know, so you tell
me, Alfred. How do you think I’m doing?”
Page 1750 of 1871

Alfred: (sigh) “Look, I was not in the right state of
mind, okay. I came here to apologize. You know I’d
never hurt you. You’ve always been the queen of my
heart, Lelo. I mean look at you, you look so bold – so
different now. That young girl in you is no more.
You’re even more beautiful with short hair now.”
Nombulelo: “Cut to the chase, Alfred. What do you

really want?”
Alfred: “You know exactly what I want. I want you. I

want us. I want us to try again. I do forgive you for
dating that boy while I was gone, but I mean – I
understand. You couldn’t have waited for me and it’s
okay. You and I make a great team, Lelo. You’re my
Bonnie and I am your Clyde.”
Nombulelo: (laughing) “You must be fucking kidding

me, Alfred. What on earth have you been smoking?”
Alfred: “Look, don’t act all holier than thou here. We

both know you’re still gangster, you’re a little gangster
queen now. You have slowly taken over while we’ve
been gone.”
Chapter 79
Page 1751 of 1871
Proverbs 16:3 – “Commit your work to the Lord, and
your plans will be established.”
I had no idea that certain people would recognize me

as being the person who opened that Facebook page
but soon the rumour started to spread that I was the
Wattville saint. I was reading a lot of positive
comments about me and what I was trying to
achieve. I was very happy about that. I had to give
the people what they wanted, so I started with
posting my mother’s story. She never got her
revenge, so it was better late than never. I posted her
story as if it came from an anonymous person, stating
how Chauke took advantage of my mother Gugulethu
Makeba and gave her two children. Her two children
died in a mysterious car accident and she never got
closure. The stories were piling up even to a point
where Betty was involved in some of them as well. “I
remember Mma Moruti (Pastor’s wife) calling my
mother’s name out for being a whore and a
homewrecker all because her husband impregnated
her. 21 years later, I still don’t know the love of a
father yet I have to pretend all is well seeing him
preach the word of God. I hate him so much.” “I
remember that day very well. She organized a church
Page 1752 of 1871
camp for young girls of the youth in order to
strengthen our relationship with God. All the girls
slept in one room. He came in and took me by hand
and told me if I screamed then I would be committing
a sin. He forced himself on me the entire night. I was
a virgin. The following day, he preached about
women being submissive to men in the Bible and that
is how God intended the world to be. I too was a
virgin.” All those stories made me want to gag so
much. I knew Chauke was filthy but what I was
reading was just downright appalling. I wanted him to
pay for everything he had done to those young
women. It just wasn’t right at all. I had to fully win
their trust, I mean I was still an ex-convict and I bet
they wouldn’t hesitate to bring that up should the
need arose. So, I came up with my first ever brilliant
plan and called Priscilla and Grilla to hear of it.
Nombulelo: “I have an idea, so please do hear me

out. What if we start handing out food to the needy
every Sunday? I mean they could have a nice Sunday
lunch right here in the backyard? Or they could take
the food and go eat at home.”
Page 1753 of 1871

Grilla: “I mean no disrespect sister boss, but where
will we find the money to do that?”
Priscilla: “Yes, I am with Grilla on this one.”
Nombulelo: “We make plenty of money with the free

stock of alcohol we receive from the brewery. And, I
have just the idea to finally get Aeysha out of our hair.
We can force her to give up her share of the
business. That way, she will have no control of her
portion of the business anymore and all profits can be
divided amongst the three of us. In a few months or
so, we’ll be noticed and we can therefore apply for
sponsors. What do you think?”
Priscilla: “Wow, I knew this new hair style came with

change but I didn’t think of you as a philanthropist. I
am actually amazed at how you’re trying out this
change in life thing. I must say, you took me by
surprise but I can never say no to helping the less
fortunate.”
Grilla: “Well, sister boss, I can’t say I am excited by

losing money, but I too grew up without anyone to
Page 1754 of 1871

assist me. Who knows? You could be helping out a
lot of women here in Wattville. I say let’s do it.”
Yes, I was trying to become a better person but the

bitch in me refused to let go of the dangerous me.
We put our plan in motion and started putting up
flyers regarding Sunday’s drive by lunch. Since well
people were quite afraid of being seen in a club, they
could just come and get some food for themselves. I
knew that someone would post it on my page
without me making it obvious that I was the new saint
they were talking about. The poster hit and everyone
was on board. I was a little worried if I was going to
have enough food for them, but I had to make it
work. By the following day, Grilla forced Aeysha to
sign away her share of the business without getting a
single cent in return. We had to bind her with all the
money she stole from us. I was quite disappointed in
her but wished her well. She wasn’t my problem
anymore. That evening felt like I had achieved a really
good day when we were closing up. I was lonely on
most nights, so I asked Priscilla and Grilla to go home
with me.
Page 1755 of 1871

Grilla: “I won’t say no to that, but you know I drink
and wena (you) don’t drink at all.”
Nombulelo: “I’ll buy you drinks. Come on, let’s go.”
Priscilla and Grilla both drove behind me in their own

cars. We stopped by the bottle store near my house
to get something for them. Approaching the counter,
I was a little shocked to hear a familiar voice whisper
in my ear.
Alfred: “Well, what do you know. Is it fate or a mere

coincidence?”
I turned around and it was indeed Alfred. His cologne

used to excite me but that evening I nearly vomited.
Nombulelo: “Are you stalking me now?”
Alfred: “No, baby girl. I would never do that. I just

came here for drinks.”
Nombulelo: “How convenient. You came to buy

alcohol at a bottle store just near where I live?”
Page 1756 of 1871

Alfred: “Well, you’re not the only one who can afford
that house your little boyfriend bought you.”
Alfred: “I live here as well.”
Nombulelo: “Bullshit. Just stay away from me,

Alfred.”
He just chuckled and I got into my car so quickly and

drove off. I was surprised that he was following us as
well. I got through the gate and Grilla and Priscilla
used the code I gave them. Indeed, that mother
fucker went through as well. I didn’t see him
punching in any code, he used his finger print just like
I did. I started feeling so uneasy. How on earth did he
even know where I lived? It could only have been
those two fuckers, Nairobi and Bongani. He drove
past us and hooted. He really owned a house in the
same estate as I lived in. I really had to think of
moving from there. The minute Grilla and Priscilla got
into the house, they asked me the same question.
Page 1757 of 1871

Grilla: “Bozza (boss), is it me or did I just see
Mastermind drive through here?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “You saw correctly. Apparently

he lives here now.”
Priscilla: (shocked) “Lelo, you can’t be here. I mean

that guy is dangerous. This feels like it was all
planned. I am so unsettled by it, really.”
Nombulelo: (shaking head) “I can’t just up and leave.

He will most probably follow me wherever I go. I
need to figure out what exactly he has planned. For
as long as my security system has changed, I don’t
think he will try anything. Let us just wait and see.”
Grilla: “I don’t think you should be living alone, I am

just saying. I know you’re more than capable of taking
care of yourself.”
Nombulelo: “I can hit a punch or two. Alfred doesn’t

scare me – he shouldn’t scare me. I will be fine. We
didn’t come here to discuss Alfred. Come on, now.”
Page 1758 of 1871

I went to take a shower, while those two were
enjoying themselves downstairs. It felt a lot better
having company in the house. I was starting to lose
my mind a little bit with all the sleepless nights I was
having. I had just got out of the shower and was busy
drying myself when I received a notification on my
phone. It was an EFT deposit into my bank account of
R5000. Funny enough the reference was stated as
“Sunday lunch”. Initially I thought maybe it was a
good Samaritan who was paving the way for me. The
other part of my brain told me perhaps it was Alfred
trying to get to me, but he couldn’t have had my bank
account number. The only person apart from Grilla,
Aeysha and Priscilla who knew my personal bank
account particulars was Thato. My legs were shaking.
“Could it be him?” I thought to myself. It was way too
good of a coincidence. There was no message that
followed so I let it be as much as it hurt me not
knowing where he was and if he was indeed okay. For
some reason, that put a smile on my face. I went
downstairs smiling from ear to ear.
Priscilla: “Well, I’d say that a shower put that smile on

your face but it must probably be your vibrator.”
Page 1759 of 1871

The three of us laughed.
Nombulelo: “Stop it. Actually, I just received money

into my personal bank account.”
Priscilla: (excitedly) “From whom? Let me see.”
She looked at it along with Grilla.
Grilla: “It must be someone who thinks your cause is

truly great.”
Nombulelo: “That’s what I thought too but my bank

account is not public knowledge.”
Priscilla: (surprised) “You don’t think it’s him, do you?”
Nombulelo: “Who else could it be?”
Priscilla: (excitedly) “Well, that means he must be

alive and well.”
Nombulelo: “Then why hasn’t he made contact yet?”
Page 1760 of 1871

Priscilla: “Only he knows, babe. Time will tell. For
now, just know that there’s a guardian angel on your
side.”
She was truly right. I guess I did have an angel by my

side for a change. My luck was probably improving
for once in my life. Two days later, I reported for work
as usual. There was nothing out of the ordinary and
no Alfred stalking me in sight. It was a fairly good day
and I was particularly excited because I would be
seeing Millicent that day since it was a Friday. I opted
to fetch her from school, as I didn’t want anything to
wrong with her. I just didn’t trust anyone. With the
money I received in my account, everything was set in
motion for Sunday’s lunch event. I knew just how
much I would be able to cook, but with Priscilla and I
being the only people who could cook, it meant that
we’d have had to wake up early morning to finish in
time. I was puzzled when I was approached by a
woman I didn’t recognize just after saying goodbye to
Priscilla and Grilla. It was literally 2am in the
morning. She looked so frail poorly taken care of and
had a black eye. She could barely walk. I noticed she
was touching her stomach, that told me she was
badly bruised.
Page 1761 of 1871
Woman: “Nombulelo
hi. Forgive me for startling you at this time of the
morning.”
Nombulelo: “Can I help you?”
Woman: “Yes, I was hoping you’d ask that. I… I didn’t

know who else to turn to.”
I looked around to see if she wasn’t perhaps walking

with one of my enemies.
Nombulelo: “Are you alone?”
Woman: “Yes. I am seeking your help, please. I have

no one else to turn to.”
Nombulelo: “Okay, let me open up again quickly.”
Woman: (nervously) “I promise, I won’t stay long.”
For some reason I really felt sorry for her. I opened up

as risky as it was and let her in. She even struggled to
Page 1762 of 1871

sit and looked like she hadn’t had a decent meal in a
very long while.
Nombulelo: “Can I offer you anything to drink? Or

perhaps eat?”
Woman: “Oh, no. I wouldn’t want to take your time

like that. I mean, you were already on your way home
when I arrived.”
She looked so ashamed but I could feel it in my gut

that she needed help – she was desperate for it. I
wasn’t much of a helpful person when it came to
other people. I was bullied all my life until I became
fearless. Since then, no one bothered me about the
shape of my body ever again. I had learnt to see the
beauty within me and I always strived to help those
around me, but never those I didn’t know. I always
felt that people would take advantage of you much
like how my sister took advantage of me.
Nombulelo: “Wait here, I’ll get you something really

quickly.”
Page 1763 of 1871

I rushed to the kitchen to get her some left overs we
always left for the staff in case they were hungry the
following day. I also got her a glass of juice. I heated
the food a little and once I handed it to her, she dug in
like a hungry animal that was left out in the cold for a
very long time. The way she gulped that juice as it
spilled a bit on her chin and clothes made me feel a
sense of empathy for her. It made me recall the times
when we barely had anything to eat because my
mother would leave us hungry. She would go
drinking while we were left starving but Nairobi didn’t
know that struggle, now did she? Puzzled by the way
I was staring at her, she looked ashamed.
Woman: (ashamedly) “Forgive me for eating like such

a ravished animal. I just haven’t had anything to eat
in days.”
Nombulelo: “It’s okay, how can I help you?”
Woman: “My mannerisms. I have eaten your food

and had a sip of your drink without even introducing
myself. My name is Winnie. I live in Wattville. I used
to go to church with your grandmother Regina. I
knew her so well though I was a bit young. I used to
Page 1764 of 1871
be in the same church group as she was in and I
would often see her coming to church with you.”
I didn’t recognize her at all no matter how long I tried

to.
Woman: “It’s okay, you won’t recognize me but I

never forgot you. Anyway, that’s not why I am here.
Like I said, I need your help but before I even get to
the point, I think it’s best I start at the beginning.
That’s if you have the time.”
Nombulelo: “Of course. I am listening.”
Woman: “My husband and I married very young. I

was a young girl in love and failed to listen to my
parents. When they told me that he wasn’t right for
me, I failed to listen and then I ran away from home
and eloped with him. They wanted nothing to do
with me ever since. The first few years were really
good but as time went on he just started to change.
As I sit here before you, I am a 62 year old woman
who has endured a beating every day for the past
fourty years. I only get a break when he doesn’t come
home. My children were never exposed to happiness
Page 1765 of 1871
and I regret that part of my life. I didn’t come here to
give you a sob story of my life, but I came to ask you
for your help.”
She stood up and took off her top leaving me

astonished. I had never seen so many bruises on an
elder woman before. I could barely see her natural
skin colour.
Woman: “Take a good look at me. I am old and

broken all at the hands of my husband. I wish for
nothing but peace in my life. Every time I tried to get
him arrested, he beats me even harder. At times I get
beaten for two hours straight. When I ask God to take
me, I somehow manage to live longer. As we speak
my children and I haven’t had any food for the past
three days. He hides food from us while beating us
should we even dare utter a word.”
She put her top back on and took out a small

envelope.
Woman: “I don’t have much, but my son managed to

get me some money from a loan shark. Instead of
buying food, I would like you to do something to my
Page 1766 of 1871
husband – something permanent. I am not asking
you to kill him, but you surely have your ways. All I
desire in my life is peace.”
She shed probably the last bit of tears she had left
within her body. She was so broken, that I too nearly
cried. The fact that she came to me with money they
borrowed from someone probably even worse than I
was, broke me. So, I slowly returned the money to
her.
Nombulelo: “Ma, you don’t have to pay me. Just tell

me how much you borrowed from the loan shark?”
Woman: “My son borrowed R1000. He couldn’t give

me anymore as I am unemployed.”
Nombulelo: “Take this money back to the loan shark

first thing tomorrow morning. You tell him I said he
won’t get any interest and he must come speak to me
if he had any problem. I will give you some money to
buy some food that will keep you going for a while,
don’t you worry.”
Page 1767 of 1871

Woman: “Oh, no. I cannot ask you to make me your
charity case, my child. All I want is for you to grant me
peace.”
Nombulelo: “Where is this man right now?”
Woman: “He normally goes to the tavern around the

corner from our house every single day. I doubt he
will come back home tonight. I truly hope he
doesn’t.”
I asked her to describe him to me since she didn’t

even have a phone and I got his name. I handed her
R500 since she didn’t want to accept any more from
me and locked up. She didn’t want me to drop her
too close to her house since she knew that man
would have probably heard she was dropped off by a
big car.
Woman: “Thank you, my child. I don’t know what to

say but thank you.”
She thanked me once again and walked out. I was

angered by this bloody man who decided to make his
own wife a punching bag for so many years. That
Page 1768 of 1871
woman had lost so many years of her life to that
man. I didn’t even think of calling Grilla or anyone
else to assist. I parked my car and walked out. The
audacity the man had – he still had her living in a
shack after taking her from her own family decades
ago. I walked straight to that shady tavern. Most
people noticed me and decided to ignore me while
those who didn’t know me tried to whistle at me. I
just focused on the mission at hand. It was 3am and I
was supposed to be at home. When I walked in I
looked for the description she had given me. Most
men in there looked the same and the music was so
loud. I only had one thing to do. I walked up straight
to the owner.
Nombulelo: (loudly) “Can you switch off the music for

a little while, please?”
He was lucky enough I even said please.
Tavern owner: “Who the fuck are you?”
I took out my gun and pointed it at him.
Nombulelo: “Switch off the music.”

Page 1769 of 1871
He switched it off in a heartbeat leaving the old,
grown men complaining and insulting me. I heard
one of them with the loudest voice speak up.
Man: (loudly) “Who has the audacity to come in here

and stop the fun for us?! Hey wena, girlie! Are you a
cop?”
I looked at him and he seemed like just the man I was

looking for.
Nombulelo: “I am looking for Rudolph.”
Man: (shouting) “Ndim loyo (It’s me)!”
He was Xhosa as well. Just by looking at him I could

smell the disrespect. I started imagine all the things
he was doing to his wife, beating her up like she was
an animal. I rushed towards at him and charged at
him. I must have punched him twice before he fell
down. The other men were quite shocked while they
tried to attack me but I shot two bullets up in the air.
Page 1770 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Do you know who I am? Come for me
and I won’t hesitate to shoot you.”
They stepped back while I stepped on Rudolph’s fat

belly. I stepped on it so hard that he vomited every
bit of beer he consumed that evening.
Nombulelo: “This is for you and the rest of you who

treat women like trash. You marry them, promise
them the world and when you realize you can’t afford
to take a proper shit you beat them up sensibly. I
want you to live to regret your actions, Rudolph. I
shot him in both knees while the rest of them ran out
of there. I took a knife from the table and mauled out
both his eyes. He was screaming senselessly but I
enjoyed that. I wanted him to regret what he did to
Winnie each and every day of his life. I wasn’t
planning on killing him but even if he died, I wasn’t
going to be bothered. After I was done, I walked out
and drove to my house. I locked my house and slept
like a baby. The following morning I got up and went
to work. I did expect the police to come up to me and
start questioning me or probably arrest me, but no
one did. 12pm midday struck and still there was no
sign of the police. I was expecting that someone
Page 1771 of 1871
would have told the police by then, but as the saying
goes in every township – snitches get stitches. While I
was in my own little world, I was surprised to see
Winnie appear before me. She looked a lot better
than the early hours of the morning, and she was
smiling. She had her hair done and was wearing
decent clothes.
Chapter 80
Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,
declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to
give you a future and a hope.”
Winnie was a great addition to our family at the club.

She seemed to fit in very well. She had no complaints
and had quite a lot of order in the kitchen. I saw the
light that Rudolph had dimmed slowly come back to
life. She was just a star, and we had nothing to worry
about. I had to go fetch Millicent around 3pm. I
drove to her school alone since Priscilla and Grilla
were working. We truly had to come up with a plan
to stop working so hard. I was troubled by a specific
car right behind me. It resembled a car I had seen
months before; black SUV with the same number
plate that the Xhosa men had when Thato shot at
them. I couldn’t remember properly but my brain
Page 1772 of 1871
never forgot. I decided to increase my speed but they
changed direction and went somewhere else.
Perhaps it was Deja-vu, I don’t know but well once I
arrived at Millicent’s school, I wasn’t being followed
any more so I went about my day. It had been nearly
two months since I had seen her and we were
preparing for the June holidays. It was the last day of
school for her, so she would have a lovely time with
me at home. She looked really good, she was glowing
and had gained a little bit more weight. I noticed that
she had let her hair loose and I could see the natural,
curly hair. She was finally starting to accept the way
she looked. She was excited to see me as always and
hugged me tightly.
Millicent: “Oh, sis. Look at you! I love the hair. You

look so beautiful – so different!”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “Well, look at you. You look

so beautiful, gorgeous! When did you leave your hair
like this?”
Millicent: “Oh, well, since we read a little bit about

Jane Austin. I like her, you know. I decided to accept
Page 1773 of 1871

myself. I mean I am not the reason why I look the way
I look.”
Nombulelo: “Of course, come on. Get in, let me buy

you some lunch so we can catch up.”
She was in Grade 9 and slowly blossoming into a

beautiful flower. We went to have some lunch and I
was just excited about the person she was becoming.
She was telling me about the subjects she wanted to
do the following year and her new interests. Her
YouTube channel was making a lot of money, so she
took it upon herself to save the money in a savings
account.
Millicent: “I am saving the money for the day I go to

varsity.”
Nombulelo: “No, you worry about your school work.

The future is for me to worry about. We have a home
now, I have a business so that’s all you have to worry
about.”
Millicent: “Where’s Thato? I thought you’d be here

with him.”
Page 1774 of 1871
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Uh, he had some things to
take care of in Cape Town. He will be back soon,
probably next month.”
Millicent: (frowning) “Probably?”
I was so nervous that I quickly decided to change the

subject. She wasn’t one to pry though I knew she
would notice and I’d tell her when the time came.
Nombulelo: “Yes, probably. Anyway, did you bring

your latest school fees account like I asked?”
Millicent: “Oh, no. I asked for it from finance but they

said that my school fees was fully paid for the year –
including res fees.”
Again, another act from my guardian angel. I knew

that Thato had everything to do with it but what if it
was his mother and he was still unconscious? I was
still yet to know. We finished eating and I had to go
back to the club. I was so sceptical of leaving her at
the house with Alfred living in the same complex, but
I had no choice. I didn’t want to make her scared.
Page 1775 of 1871
Millicent: “Will you fetch the twins after work?”
Nombulelo: “I knock off quite late, but perhaps we

can fetch them tomorrow morning?”
Millicent: “Of course, but I will be so bored here.”
Nombulelo: “There’s Netflix – whatever you want.

You can eat whatever you want as well. Just stay in
the house until I get back, okay?”
Millicent: “Yes ma’am.”
I made sure I locked her in the house before I left.

Ever since Alfred was staying in the same complex, I
just felt a little on edge. I had to look over my
shoulder every now and again. I went back to work
just to finalize the last bits of work that day. We were
exhausted and made the choice to lock up around
midnight. We were lucky that every one of our staff
members did not live too far. Ever since the shooting,
I hadn’t seen Alfred, nor have I seen Chauke come to
the club ever since the accusations started to hit.
Winnie was doing such a good job and Grilla was kind
Page 1776 of 1871
enough to take her home after her shift. It had
become a norm since then. We opened later on
Saturdays, since we were always at work. That
Sunday morning Winnie was at work early to assist us
to cook. I had no idea how she did it but she had
recruited many of her friends to come and assist us.
They didn’t ask for any form of remuneration, they
just wanted to make a difference in the community.
I won’t lie, having those extra pair of hands really

assisted. Priscilla was so good at PR, she was taking
pictures of us cooking and posted them on my page. I
still hadn’t confessed who I was but people got the
hint. Suddenly, there was light shining in Wattville.
With every post and update, people asked what they
could do to assist us. Within an hour, people – lots of
women started flocking. They had come with the
little they had to make the event a huge success.
They had come fully prepared with aprons on.
Priscilla and I didn’t really have to do much. It was for
the first time in my life that I realized I had the power
to do something good for a change. I enjoyed doing
that and seeing women come together like that.
Page 1777 of 1871

Before we knew it, around 30 women or so had come
to assist us with the cooking and getting all the tables
and chairs ready. I didn’t expect people to come so
quickly. The women had already placed food in
takeaway plates for people. I thought that everyone
would be at church that day but no, instead around
9am when church was starting people had come to
collect food from us. It was quite overwhelming to
see the response from people – even those who used
to look down on me when I was a lot younger, those
who never even respected my mother. I would be
lying had I said that I was a forgiving person or that I
had forgotten, but something told me that I should
just smile through it all that day. Very few things and
even fewer people made me happy but that day
made me elated. I was just so free that day. It felt so
good to take pictures with all those people and
actually feel the love and appreciation. I was not just
a club owner or ex-convict/gangster, but I had created
a safe haven for people, especially women. It made
me feel whole.
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into

months. I had the most blissful time with Millicent
and the twins during the holidays. Winnie had
Page 1778 of 1871
become our head chef at the club and cooked for us
daily without any complaint from anyone about her
food. With our Sunday lunch event, Chauke was
more than pissed that his church was losing followers
but I didn’t care. I was doing a good thing for our
community. I had even become known as the
Wattville Saint freely and openly and the name of my
page had turned into that. I wasn’t in hiding anymore
and I liked it. I wasn’t scared of what would happen
to me, when mothers would call Priscilla, Grilla and I
to come sort out their sons who were bothersome to
them and on drugs, when women would still come
and ask us to sort out their abusive men and when
schools would call us to come sort out gang activity.
The GBV rate dropped significantly and with each
man who tried their luck with their own wives and
girlfriends, they were threatened by us. It had
become such a hit that we started our own security
company.
Grilla’s girls were now a part of an even bigger

security and doing more than just guarding assholes
at the club. We supplied them with panic buttons all
thanks to Priscilla and 24/7 protection in the
neighbourhood. We were making money though we
Page 1779 of 1871
were not charging them much. We were the very first
female owned security company and with every
woman who had come out of prison seeking a better
life, Grilla recruited them to join our team. It helped a
lot especially with muggings. Sadly the tragedies just
became worse. Every month or so a girl would go
missing or be found dead in Wattville. It was
becoming such a trend yet Chauke and Betty were still
not arrested. Bongani was nowhere to be found,
while Alfred and his crew were making money but I
had no idea how though I had an inkling. I always
knew that one day, Chauke’s luck would run out. As
the Bible says in Proverbs 16:33 – “The lot is cast into
the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.”
Exactly 5 months later, just at the end of November, I

was preparing for the biggest Christmas feast in
Wattville with Priscilla and Grilla, along with Winnie
who was a big part of the cooking when a girl
stormed into the club looking like she had just
escaped death. I heard people screaming from
downstairs and when we rushed to the scene, we
found a young girl, covered in blood and half naked.
Her head had a big cut that was bleeding profusely. I
was amazed as to how she survived.
Page 1780 of 1871

Winnie: “Oh, my lord! Look at her! She needs the
hospital! We should call the police!”
The girl uttered.
Girl: (frightened) “No! No, police! They’ll kill me!”
At that point there were so many people around us it

was hard not to pay attention to her.
Grilla: “Let’s take her to the office, boss lady. I will

keep the cops away from here.”
Nombulelo: “Thank you, G.”
We took her into the office while mam Winnie was

nice enough to adhere to instructions. We had a first
aid kit in there in case of emergencies. We carried
guns with us so we always had to be prepared. I had
no idea that the kit would have to work on a girl
whom we didn’t know and was so wounded. We
assisted her where we could.
Page 1781 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Can you speak? What happened to
you?”
She was crying but managed to speak.
Girl: (crying) “I was on my way back from school when

a car just stopped next to me. A man came out of the
car and grabbed me. They gagged me. I was so
frightened. I knew that I’d either be dead or not
come back again after everything that’s been
happening to young girls in this town. I fought like
nothing else. It got so bad that they removed my
clothes and I was hit by a gun on my face. I was lucky
because there was only one guy in the back, so I
kicked the door open as soon as it stopped at the
robot and I ran and didn’t look back. I couldn’t risk
going to the police, especially after the controversy
around him.”
Priscilla: “Who’s him?”
Girl: “Pastor Chauke. He is the one who was driving

the car.”
Page 1782 of 1871

I was in shock but it had been just the sign I was
looking for.
Nombulelo: “And what about the other two men?”
Girl: “I didn’t recognize them but I could see him

clearly.”
Winnie: (angrily) “He has to pay – he just has to.”
Nombulelo: “Wait, we can’t go to the police about

this. It could end badly.”
Winnie: “Well, half the people in here already heard

the story.”
Priscilla: “Let’s keep her here safely until we figure out

what to do.”
Girl: (shaking) “No, they were going to ship me off to

some unknown country. I can’t do that. We have to
do something before he finds someone else already!”
Priscilla and I begged her to relax. She had been

through a traumatic experience but it was probably
Page 1783 of 1871

best that she stayed there. I was afraid that they’d
come to the club to find her. So, I opted to take her to
my house. Even that was going to be risky because
Alfred was living in the same complex. Little did I
know what Karma had in store for the Chaukes.
While we were figuring out a plan, Grilla came
running.
Grilla: “Boss, we have company.”
I looked out the window and I saw an angry mob just

outside the club. They were shouting and I was afraid
they had come for me for some reason.
Nombulelo: “What do they want?”
Grilla: “It’s not what they want – it’s who they have
come with.”
We rushed outside with the girl in between us. I was

astonished to find that they had brought Chauke and
Betty with. They both looked badly beaten and had
their hands tied behind their backs. When we walked
out of the club with the girl, one of them who
seemed like the leader started speaking.
Page 1784 of 1871
Leader: “We are tired, Nombulelo – tired. You have
tried so hard, you and your team to keep crime off
the streets. You have fought to keep us safe and what
did this bastard do? He chose to steal our daughters
for his own will! He is nothing but the devil!”
The crowd was cheering him on.
Leader: “How long?! How much longer must we wait

for justice to prevail?! How many more girls should
go missing again before he gets what’s due to him?!
Today is the day that you get to die, Chauke!”
They were pleading – begging for mercy. I stood

there and looked right into Betty’s eyes. I recalled the
remorseless look on her face when I confronted her
about my siblings. She was not bothered, instead I
was the bastard who was standing in her way. I had
no feelings of sadness or worry for her, instead I
wanted her to get what was coming for her, along
with her husband.
Leader: “Look at that girl! I want you both to look at

her! She could have died!”
Page 1785 of 1871
They put tires around the two of them and started
chanting. When the police came they threw stones at
the vans and refused to disperse. I don’t know who it
was, but they set them both on fire in an instant.
They were so stubborn and refused to make way for
the police. The police tried to fire rubber bullets, but
even that was not enough to get rid of an angry mob
who was craving justice. The mob started throwing
bricks and stones at the police to the point where
they drove off. I saw Chauke and Betty screaming and
begging for mercy. Watching them burn to death was
the epiphany I had been longing for. It brought some
sort of happiness and relief to me, but most
importantly to the girl they nearly captured. I had no
idea who saw Chauke and his so called accomplices
kidnap the girl but for what it was worth I thanked
them. The person was what we needed to end it all –
well, at least I thought it was over. With one fight you
end, another erupts. The one thing I had
accomplished was getting rid of Chauke and Betty –
and I didn’t even have to lift a finger. There is nothing
more I detested than a person who used God to do
the devil’s work. The Chauke’s had finally fell into the
deep pit they had dug for themselves.
Page 1786 of 1871
Job 4:8 – “As I have seen, those who plough iniquity
and sow trouble reap the same.”
Chapter 81
Psalm 37:4 – “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will

give you the desires of your heart.”
I had always imagined that I’d be the one to get rid of

the Chauke’s but my goodness me, I had dodged a
real bullet. Once the crowd were certain that the
Chauke’s had burnt to death they dispersed. Who
would they blame since it was a crowd of people who
had done that? They didn’t have any fire
extinguishers on the scene, so they waited until the
fire burnt out. By then, those two were burnt nearly
to ashes. Nkuna had arrived and we were so sceptical
to give him access to her because we just knew what
would happen to her.
Nkuna: “I promise you, she’ll be safe in our hands.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t think any of the police can keep

her safe right now.”
Page 1787 of 1871
Girl: (panicking) “I don’t want to go alone, please.
Come with me, Nombulelo.”
She didn’t know me yet she had so much faith in me,

in the fact that I could protect her from harm’s way. It
really moved me seeing how people had so much
faith in me. Talk about major responsibility but I really
enjoyed having a sense of purpose.
Nombulelo: “I’ll come with.”
Nkuna: “Okay, but she will still need protection.”
Nombulelo: “Fine, I will drive her in my car and you

can follow us you know, for police escort purposes.”
Nkuna nodded in agreement and I took the girl along

with me. She was so relieved that at least she was in
a safe space. I had no idea what was the whole
purpose of making the questioning thing such a big
deal but it was standard procedure. Before we knew
it, it had made big headlines and despite us trying to
keep her identity a secret, someone on social media
leaked it and it was all over the news. Nkuna
Page 1788 of 1871
questioned her while I was right there. I wasn’t too
chuffed about the idea of her being under police
custody since I knew very well that the police could
be bribed easily. Taking her to my house was also too
risky – for my family and for her as well. I was trying
to think of a proper solution for her while Nkuna was
busy questioning her when an unexpected and
unknown person walked through the door.
Lawyer: “Sorry I’m late.”
I didn’t recognize him at all but he sure looked like a

lawyer. I could always read energy and I could tell that
he was not a danger to either of us.
Nkuna: “I’m sorry, you are?”
Lawyer: “Oh, I’m the lawyer.”
Nkuna: “Who assigned you?”
Lawyer: “That’s not important. What you need to

know is that I will be taking her to a safe place.”
Page 1789 of 1871

I had no idea what he was talking about but I was
calm while the girl was starting to get really agitated,
understandably.
Nkuna: “I did not approve of this in fact, please leave

the room.”
He dismissed Nkuna’s request and handed me the

phone.
Lawyer: “Here, speak to the person in charge.”
I took his phone and did not recognize the number on

the other end of the line.
I was oddly surprised by the person “in charge”.
Gemma: “Hi, Nombulelo. I hope you’re well. You can

trust him. He will take her to a safe house. I know
you didn’t leave on a good note but please trust me. I
know how confused you are right now, but just know
that I love you and believe in you. Keep doing the
great work.”
Page 1790 of 1871
With that said she hung up. I had no reason to
believe that Gemma would have been coerced into
doing that. She always had a good heart. I was
puzzled at how she was always up to date with
everything happening around me but I trusted her. I
just had to make the girl see that I was not a liar and
she was in good hands.
Nombulelo: “Listen, I know you’re afraid right now,

but trust him. He is in contact with someone who has
my back. You’re in good hands. You can trust him.”
She somehow looked into my eyes and saw the truth

in them and believed me. She nodded in agreement
and once we were done with the questioning, I
assured Nkuna that she was in good hands. I was told
she’d be taken to a safe house. I couldn’t disclose to
Nkuna because I had no idea who was listening. The
walls always have ears. There was no time to even go
to my house to get proper clothes for her, but she was
given a cellphone immediately before her departure.
I drove right behind them to the airport and made
sure she got onto the plane safely. They even used a
private jet. I knew Thato’s mother’s family had money
Page 1791 of 1871
but that was totally extra and unpredictable. I
couldn’t help but worry about her the entire time but
I knew that everything was going to be just fine. I
finally went home after hours of being busy with
everything but work. I made sure not to sleep until I
got feedback from the lawyer. Millicent was having
the time of her life with the twins. Hannah was
flourishing and we truly forgot she was even blind. I
still couldn’t understand how Nairobi was living life
while she was the cause of her blindness. I was no
saint but she had a lot to suffer for. I went to bed
early as I was just tired from the day I had.
I had no idea how it happened, but somehow

Chauke’s little syndicate was discovered. It seems as if
it was not so little after all. All the girls who were
kidnapped were found, well – we hoped it was all of
them. They were returned to their families and
slowly but surely Wattville went back to its original
state. That happened so quickly – within a span of
three weeks. I still had a feeling that Gemma had
something to do with it. I still had no word from
Thato but I felt he was doing just fine, even better
than the last time we saw one another. I was busy
preparing for the biggest feast in the history of
Page 1792 of 1871
Wattville – our first ever Christmas lunch. I was so
excited, more especially since I was receiving around
R5000 weekly for the Sunday lunch. I still had no idea
who my anonymous sponsor was, but just a week
before the Christmas lunch, the amount doubled to
R10 000 with the reference “Xmas lunch”. Money
made me so happy, more especially since I didn’t
have to dig into my pockets to buy food and
ingredients for every Sunday lunch. We even
managed to employ fellow women from the
community to cook for us, all thanks to Mam’Winnie.
I was recognized and respected wherever I went.
People always said that Christmas is a time to wish for
good things. I never believed in Santa – I never had a
reason to after my grandmother Regina died. I
decided to have a change of heart and finally have a
few things on my wish list. Nothing prepared me for
what was to come. Our feast was huge, we started
from midday on Christmas day and we even had a
few people donate toys and a few extra rands to buy
toys for children. Wattville was slowly becoming
healed, broken women became whole again and
those wiith crushed dreams started to have hope
again. The faithless began having faith once again. It
was just heartwarming. While people were outside
Page 1793 of 1871
enjoying the music and food and a few drinks, Grilla
took it upon her to have our own little meeting with
Priscilla and I inside our office.
Nombulelo: “Grilla, it’s 6pm and people are drunk.

This had better be an emergency.”
Grilla: “Sure, Sister boss. Well, firstly I would like to

say that I have had such an amazing year with you.
You have restored my faith in so many things. I mean,
when I got released out of prison, I didn’t think my life
would be like this but you have proven to me that
second chances do exist. We are not your regular
kind of women, but I believe that even the
unorthodox need to be recognized. I love you two –
wholeheartedly and I would kill for you.”
Priscilla: (chuckling) “I do hope you don’t mean that

literally.”
Grilla: “Oh, I do mean that, literally. I just want to say

that I wish for Santa to grant us even bigger and
greater gifts than he has this year. So, without
wasting any further time, cheers to a good year and
to an even better one next year.”
Page 1794 of 1871
We said cheers and had a drink on that, while I had
juice of course. It felt like we were going to have a
great and peaceful night further of which it was. I
hadn’t seen Alfred in so long that I totally let my guard
down. That was the biggest mistake I ever made.
While the Christmas lunch turned party we went our
separate ways. Sometimes our gut tells us that
danger is lurking without making it too obvious. Grilla
insisted that she needed to go home along with
Priscilla. I was under the impression that they just
wanted to spend the last remaining hours of
Christmas with their families, but the universe had
other plans for us. I remember I arrived at my house
and though I was tired, I couldn’t sleep a wink. I was
tossing and turning in my bed and ended up watching
TV instead. I kept looking at my phone for some
reason as if I was expecting a message to come
through. Millicent was gone – she was at Priscilla’s
house with the kids. It was way better than spending
Christmas with me all alone in that big house. I kept
checking the time every half an hour – don’t ask me
why because I too had no idea. Around midnight I felt
a little sleepy and managed to doze off. Only around
4am I heard my phone ringing. Just when I was about
Page 1795 of 1871

to answer, the person stopped calling. When I
checked my phone I was astounded that I had missed
14 missed calls. A few from Grilla and a few from
Priscilla. I started calling Grilla back first but she
wasn’t answering. When I called Priscilla, I got the
shock of my life.
Priscilla: (hysterically) “Girl, where have you been?!

I’ve been calling you for ages!”
Nombulelo: “I’m so sorry, I fell asleep on the couch.

What is it? What happened?”
Priscilla: “You won’t believe this. My house was petrol

bombed while we were sleeping.”
My heart nearly dropped when I thought of the

children.
Nombulelo: (worried) “And the children? Your

mother? Are they all okay?”
Pirscilla: “Yes, luckily we all made it out of the house in

time. It wasn’t easy.”
Page 1796 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Oh, my God. Where are you now? I am
on my way.”
While I was trying to get dressed she hit me with yet

another blow.
Priscilla: “That’s not all.”
Priscilla: “The club was also petrol bombed.

Surprisingly, I was only called around 2am yet it was
already burning at the time. I am afraid everything
has been burnt to ashes. It’s even worse than the last
time.”
My heart was shattered instantly. I had no words, I

was unequivocally thunderstruck. I mean after all the
good I tried to do yet God still chose to punish me.
Do you see why I never believed in Him?
Nombulelo: “I’ll be right there.”
While I got into the car, something told me that the

entire evening was off – it was basically planned. I
Page 1797 of 1871
drove out anyway and Grilla called me while I was on
my way to Priscilla’s house.
Grilla: “Boss.”
Nombulelo: “Hi, G. Sorry I couldn’t respond to your

missed calls in time. I was sleeping but P told me
what happened. I am on my way there.”
Grilla: “Bad news, Sister Boss. My house was on fire

as well. I am even lucky my grandmother made it out
alive.”
I felt as if my heart was over palpitating.
Nombulelo: “Where are you now?”
Grilla: “Outside my house.”
Nombulelo: “Meet me outside Priscilla’s house. Bring

your grandmother as well.”
Grilla: “On it, boss.”
Page 1798 of 1871

I drove to Priscilla’s house and seeing the house
literally burn to ashes while her mother was wailing
just brought me to tears. I had to be strong, I was
grateful that Millicent and the rest of them didn’t get
hurt at all, otherwise I would have been planning a
funeral.
Nombulelo: “Follow me to my house, there’s nothing

we can do here right now. We can sort out the
logistics tomorrow morning.”
Priscilla drove with her mother and the children, while

Grilla and her grandmother were right behind me. I
had no idea that the night was about to turn into an
even bigger tragedy. Approaching my complex, I was
surprised there were fire brigades, police and even
the paramedics. I rushed out when the security told
me that no one was allowed inside.
Nombulelo: “I live here, what the fuck is happening?”
Security guard: “I am sorry ma’am, but there’s a

house that just caught fire. The brigades were trying
their best to get the fire to die down but they are
failing dismally.”
Page 1799 of 1871
Nombulelo: “Whose house?”
They mentioned the address and I nearly dropped to

the ground. Christmas day was yet another day I had
learnt to hate even more. My house had caught fire
as well. Arson was the order of the day and we were
victims thereof. Some of my money was in the house,
luckily I trusted banks, but who had the money to fix
and rebuild four properties all at once? Whoever it
was knew us very well and wanted to avenge
themselves. I could not even cry, I had no tears left
within me. I couldn’t even face Millicent. The only
home I had acquired for her had burnt into ashes.
How convenient was it for me to see Alfred driving by
while I was trying to absorb what happened to me?
He smiled and even rolled down his window.
Alfred: (smiling) “Rough night, huh? Well, don’t be

too sad, you could always crash at my house.”
I was speechless for the first time in my life when it

came to Alfred.
Alfred: “I told you – I always get what I want.”

Page 1800 of 1871
With that said, he drove away leaving me with a
turmoil of emotions boiling inside of me. I knew that
Alfred was capable of much more, but nothing had
prepared me for what I was experiencing that
evening. We had no choice but to drive to a nearby
hotel. We at least had money to pay for that while we
figured things out. I couldn’t even face anyone, I was
hurt, bewildered – you name it. One thing was for
certain, I had pissed off Alfred on a very deep level
and it was more than just getting me back. I was in
for a long ride indeed. Some say when you take one
step forward you take two steps back, but in my case
whenever I took one step forward, I took ten steps
back. Whenever I rose back up even more, I took
even more steps back. Life was indeed handing me
an even bigger plate of shit and this time I wasn’t too
sure if I was ready to bear the grunt.
As said in Isiah 41:10 – “Fear not, for I am with you; be

not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you,
I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous
right hand.”
Chapter 82
Page 1801 of 1871

2 Corinthians 5:17 – “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ,
he is a new creation. The old has passed away;
behold, the new has come.”
I was more than overwhelmed. I could barely face

everyone around me. It was as if they were waiting
on me to come up with a plan. What did I expect
after acting like Superwoman in Wattville? I fucked
Alfred not once but twice, and in the process
everyone associated with me got affected. Millicent
could have died along with my siblings. Everyone else
could have died that night. I was probably more guilt-
ridden more than Priscilla and Grilla. I opted for my
own room just to reflect on my deeds. It wasn’t too
long when Grilla and Priscilla came knocking on my
door.
Nombulelo: (sigh) “I don’t mean to be rude guys, but I

am seriously not in a chatty mood.”
Priscilla: “We’ve come to speak to you – as a team.”
Grilla: “Yeah, sister boss. We’ve also come to check

on you. I mean, how are you really holding up?”
Page 1802 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Honestly? I don’t know. I am sorry for
putting you guys in this predicament. Now you have
both lost your homes along with our business and it’s
all my fault.”
Priscilla: (frowning) “Excuse me? Since when does the

Nombulelo I know feel sorry for herself? Honey, what
did you do wrong here? Because as far as I am
concerned you helped us from ground zero to where
we were. If anyone should feel bad about themselves
it’s Alfred and those two lowlifes.”
Nombulelo: “Please, don’t try to make me feel better,

P. I know I fucked up.”
Grilla: “I agree with Priscilla, Sister boss. There’s no

one who fights and pushes hard like you. I mean,
truly speaking you have built us up in more ways than
I could ever imagine myself. If anything, we should be
grateful to you.”
I felt the tears warm my eyes when I looked at them

and saw the genuineness in their eyes.
Page 1803 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Are you two being for real right now?
You mean – you don’t blame me for, for what
happened?”
Priscilla: “Of course, not. Why would we? Lelo, we

have lost what we have lost but it’s time to get back
out there and fight the good fight.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know what you mean. I mean,

we’ve lost everything.”
Priscilla: “Oh, no, we haven’t.”
Nombulelo: “What are you trying to say?”
Priscilla: “G, show her.”
Grilla took out her phone and showed me my page. It

was on fire. Someone had posted that our houses
and our business was burnt down and of course, it
didn’t take very long for someone to mention Alfred.
“Nombulelo has done so much for us as a community.
There’s no one who could have done what she and her
team could have. No one else seems interested in
keeping us safe and hopeful. If anyone should be held
Page 1804 of 1871

responsible, it should be Alfred Skosana, AKA
Mastermind. We all know she was in a relationship
with the guy back in the day. It doesn’t take much for
a jealous guy fresh out of prison to avenge whatever
he feels has been taken away from him. I’ve said
what I said.” The comments were just the tip of the
iceberg compared to what I was about to hear.
Priscilla: “They’ve launched a petition to the city

council. They want you to be the town’s councilor.”
Nombulelo: “So? It’s all just a wish for them, right? I

mean a petition means nothing.”
Priscilla: “Well, not when you’re Nombulelo Makeba.”
I looked at the both of them confused.
Grilla: “Nkuna saw this and actually pushed for it to

become a reality. Check your email, you should have
received your appointment offer.”
When I indeed checked my email I saw the offer they

were talking about. “Dear Nombulelo Makeba, it is
with great pleasure that we offer you a job in the
Page 1805 of 1871

following position: Councillor of the Wattville region.”
I wanted to drop dead right in my seat.
Grilla: (smiling) “They’ve seen your worth, Bozza

(boss). They now see what we’ve always seen.”
Priscilla: “So? Don’t keep us in suspense. Are you

going to take it?”
Nombulelo: “How will I do that when I don’t even

have a home anymore?”
Priscilla: “Don’t you worry about that. They’ll take

care of everything for now, including free hotel stay
for a while until we get back up on our feet. You’re
doing a good job. You should be absolutely proud of
yourself. I know that Grilla and I are most definitely.”
I couldn’t believe it. Just when I thought that my life

was a complete shit storm, an opportunity arose.
Something didn’t seem exactly accurate, though. I
mean Nkuna didn’t have that much power to get me
offered a position as the town’s councilor. Who else
could it have been? Who was the real hero behind it
all? I told Priscilla and Grilla that I’d accept the offer,
Page 1806 of 1871

but before I did that I decided to browse through all
the Facebook posts on my page as well as all the
comments. You know how you can see your fans and
all those who receive badges for being top fans on
your Facebook page? Well, I was quite surprised
when I saw one particular one that caught my eye.
This very person was the one posting good and
positive comments about me. It was also the very
same person who wrote only facts about recent
events and the one who released certain files about
the Chauke’s and Mastermind and his team. This was
also the very same person who used to inbox me the
most and ask to be kept anonymous. Something witin
me told me that it was a person I knew – the very
same person I suspected. I browsed for nearly two
hours when I finally found a comment she wrote that
caught my eye. It was just a week before Christmas
and they were trying to decide on a gift for me,
something I would appreciate just for doing all I was
doing for them. “We should get her a bunch of roses
– different coloured ones. She loves them all.”
My heart started beating so fast. “It can’t be” I

thought to myself. Thato was the only one who
handed me different coloured roses in a bunch. I
Page 1807 of 1871

could never decide which ones I liked the most after
the very first time he bought me flowers. I wanted to
settle for yellow ones and then white ones but
because I couldn’t decide, he’d buy me a bunch of
different coloured roses. Thankfully the person was
online so I decided to take my chances and inbox
them. Once I started off with “hi”, the person went
offline. I waited and thought I’d get a response soon
afterwards but nothing. I just settled with
unanswered questions. I decided to give up and try to
sleep. When I finally tried to doze off, I saw the
person had left me a message on Messenger before
blocking me. “Hi, Nombulelo. I hope you’re not
sleeping right now and you’ll get this message, but if
you are you’ll probably get it tomorrow morning. First
off, I am so proud of you. Words cannot explain how
great it felt to see you achieve what you have
achieved in the past few months. You are finally doing
what you’ve been dying to do – find your destiny. You
are almost there and I leave this with you; “Have I not
commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not
be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord
your God is with you wherever you go.” That was a
verse from Joshua 1:9. I knew exactly who it was, he
didn’t have to be so vague about it. I found myself
Page 1808 of 1871

teary-eyed. Well, I wasn’t too sure if he was well but
at least he was alive. I was dying to communicate
with him but he had already blocked my profile. His
main profile on social media had also disappeared. It
seemed to have been deactivated. I wanted to call his
number so badly but then I remembered his mother’s
last words to me. It was a bitter sweet moment but I
would live, it wasn’t the end for me. I had bigger fish
to fry and for as long as I was alive, I hadn’t reached
my expiry date. I still had no idea what on earth I had
done to deserve an angle like Thato, but I really
appreciated him though he wasn’t around physically
anymore.
A few days passed and everything was set in motion.

We had so much to deal with, starting with rebuilding
the homes we had lost. Only my house had insurance
along with the club while Priscilla’s and Grilla’s houses
didn’t have any. We had to dig deep into our savings
and start there. I still had no idea how but insurance
could cover everything and build me another house,
but I opted to sell the remains thereof and find
another house elsewhere. I was angry that I had lost
everything inside of that house – especially Thato’s
clothes and belongings. One things was for sure, I
Page 1809 of 1871

couldn’t live in the same complex as Alfred any more.
First it was my house then my life was probably next
in line. I had never heard of a house being sold within
days of advertising it, let alone that burnt down house
of mine, but the buyer even added few extra
thousands on top of the asking price. While everyone
was saying that God was finally on my side, I knew
that Thato was behind that. The house was
sentimental to me, but I had to move on. While
Priscilla and Grilla were very happy with living in
Wattville again, I had grown accustomed to staying in
the secured suburbs, but with the counselor job at
hand, I simply had to adjust and show people that I
cared. I couldn’t live in the suburbs while the very
same people who put me in that Councilor position
stayed in the township, so basically I had to go back to
the township, though it didn’t have to be exactly in
the township. I opted for a much better area than
where the club was situated at my grandmother
Reginah’s house. I don’t know, call it fate perhaps but
my grandmother Grace’s house was on sale again. It
seemed that the previous owners were desperate to
sell it so much that they had dropped the asking price
twice already. I wasn’t very happy with my mother
selling the house years before as I had quite fond
Page 1810 of 1871

memories growing up there, though some were
anything but pleasant. I was more than happy to sign
the deal right there and then. I was now the owner of
the house my mother had inherited from her mother
and sold it because life was just tough for her after
dropping from being a slay queen. When I thought of
it, Nairobi got most of her appalling behaviour from
her. I mean we didn’t know who her father was or
any of our fathers so there wasn’t much to do -
comparison wise. While Priscilla and Grilla opted to
stay in their houses again, I moved back to that
house. I had no idea that I’d feel the amount of peace
that I felt when roaming in that house. When I asked
the previous owners of the house why they were in
such a rush to sell, the wife simply replied with “This
house has never given me any peace ever since I
moved in here. It is as if the owners never wanted it to
be sold in the first place”. She didn’t elaborate as I too
didn’t ask. Grilla and Priscilla along with their family
members and the children were to stay with me for a
while until their houses were done being built. It was
quite a hefty amount of money having to start the
entire houses’ electricity from scratch. The fires really
damaged those houses. I managed to buy some
furniture with the money I still had left and make the
Page 1811 of 1871

house a home. Things hadn’t changed much,
especially the neighbours. While I was tyding up the
garden, I heard my neighbour, a very nosy elderly
woman call me.
Woman: “Nombulelo, I see you have finally come

back to your roots.”
Nombulelo: “Askies (Excuse me)?”
Woman: “Oh, I was under the impression that you

have finally heard Grace’s plea and that’s why you
have bought the house back.”
Nombulelo: “No, that’s not the case. I don’t know

what you mean.”
Woman: “Well, we all know what really happened to

Grace hence your mother couldn’t wait to sell the
house in the first place. Anyway, I do most certainly
hope that you won’t become like her, especially now
that the neighbourhood is a lot more dignified, you
know what I mean? You being the councillor now
shows that you are a lot more sane than your
mother.”
Page 1812 of 1871

She was quite insulting to say the least but I didn’t
have the time to argue with old women outside.
Nombulelo: “Okay, Koko (granny), we’ll speak another

time. I have to go.”
She just wasn’t prepared to let me have the peace I

literally deserved.
Woman: “Oh, before you go. My son needs a job. I

hear you could assist with that – “
Nombulelo: (interjecting) “We’ll speak another time.”
I just left her trying to converse with me in such a

condescending and forceful manner. That was the
downside of being a councillor. I didn’t really have so
much power yet people assumed that I’d fight for
them to get jobs and everything. Imagine they
themselves did not have a basic matric certificate yet
demanded employment that would provide them the
salary on that level. Their level of audacity and
entitlement was just appalling. Nonetheless, my page
name was changed to Councillor Makeba with my
Page 1813 of 1871

picture on it. Priscilla was so good at everything that
had to do with PR that she ran the page for me on a
full time basis. Grilla was still a big part of my security
and ever since I became councillor the crime in
Wattvile began to tone down. Everyone knew who
we were and though it was dangerous, we were doing
something really amazing with our time. We didn’t
really have much to rebuild the club for the second
time, I mean Alfred and his little crew made sure of
that. No arrests had been made due to the arson
committed at our club though we all knew who had
done that but well, it felt like something that had to
happen. It was New Year’s Eve and while we were
having a braai with everyone we considered family;
Grilla, Priscilla, Millicent along with Priscilla’s mom and
the children, we were discussing a way forward.
Grilla: “I can’t believe it’s already the New Year.”
Priscilla: “Tell me about it. So much has happened in

a space of months.”
Nombulelo: “I’m just glad none of us died.”
They both laughed.
Page 1814 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I’m not kidding.”
Grilla: “We know you’re not, boss.”
Priscilla: “So, what’s the way forward with the club?”
Nombulelo: “Well, I mean that depends, is it what you

guys still want to do?”
They both shook their heads.
Priscilla: “I won’t lie, it generated a lot of income for

us and to be honest I don’t think I’d want to go back
there and run a club again. I mean, our lives aren’t
worth the risk.”
Grilla: “Yes, and besides you’ll be councillor now so

we don’t need that kind of negative connotation to
your name.”
Nombulelo: “Yes, well especially now with the good

that we were doing and all the women who were
assisting us especially Mam’Winnie. I don’t feel too
good about her being out of a job.”
Page 1815 of 1871

Priscilla: “Well, luckily the club only burnt down a few
days ago so she’s technically not out of a job as of yet.
Besides, you did give her a bonus.”
Nombulelo: “Yes, I am quite sad that we didn’t get to

have our New Year’s bash this year. I was actually
looking forward to it with all those women.”
Grilla: “What if we turn the club into a women and

children’s centre instead?”
Nombulelo: “Go on.”
Grilla: “I mean look, all the broken women came to

the club to get healed and it was working. How many
more women are being battered and bruised without
our knowledge? How many women come out of
prison without a job to sustain because of their
criminal record? And actually how many women turn
to crime like we did all in the name of loving a man?”
She was onto something. I actually liked the way she

was thinking.
Page 1816 of 1871

Priscilla: “You mean like turn it into an NGO of some
sort?”
Grilla: (excitedly_) “Yes. We could have a little

orphanage that can be run by some of the women
who come to assist us with cooking all the time.”
She was really onto something and I loved having her

in my corner. My brain was seeing the whole idea. I
could actually picture the centre; assisting women
and children with taking care of their children while
they could actually be doing work for us as well. Grilla
even suggested an after care centre where we could
have activities such as self-defense for young girls. I
loved it – I was sold.
Nombulelo: “I love it. Gloria, I had no idea you had

such a proactive brain.”
Grilla: (clicking tongue) “Mxm, ah wa bona now (you

see now), Bozza (boss). You’re callilng me Gloria
because ke (it is) New Year’s.”
Priscilla and I laughed.
Nombulelo: “Okay, askies (I’m sorry). We can put the
plan in motion starting tomorrow. For now, we need
Page 1817 of 1871

to celebrate making it into the New Year in one piece
without even going to prison. I mean if anything
that’s something worth celebrating.”
Priscilla: “I second that.”
It was honestly a good day, I mean we had no drama –

and the cake topper was that I hadn’t heard from
Nairobi in months since she killed my child. Well, I
guess we were even – or so she thought. I wanted
nothing to do with her but I got the feeling that much
like Alfred, she had a tendency to resurface when you
least expected her without any shame and worst of all
– without any warning. Nonetheless I had no idea
that I was one step closer to reaching my fate and
most importantly – my destiny.
We enjoyed our braai and reminiscing over past

events of the previous year. Of course I could never
forget the big losses I endured – losing my unborn
child as well as Thato and of course not forgetting the
possibility of ever carrying my own child. I had lost my
first ever home owned by me and regained another
but I was happy nonetheless. There was a deep, dark
hole in my heart because Thato was missing in it but
Page 1818 of 1871

seeing my siblings happy made me rejoice. At least I
had done something right. I hated New Year’s ever
since then. When it was time for the count down I
told Grilla, Priscilla and everyone else around me that
I’d be right back. I mean, they actually believed that
I’d go and pray. I went to my bedroom and forced my
tears back, got into my bed and slept. I could not
force myself through the New Year without the love
of my life. I browsed through my phone hoping I’d see
a message from Thato or perhaps Gemma but
nothing. I tried my luck and dialed his number. It
went straight to voicemail crushing my heart even
further. I was convinced that perhaps Thato was a
figment of my imagination or that he was just another
hurdle in life I had to get over, but it hurt like hell. If
there was something Bongani managed to achieve
the night I got shot was the misery I had endured ever
since. That was the beginning of many miserable
New Year’s.
There’s just something about the New Year. It is a

symbol of gratitude for entering yet another year, a
time for rejoicing and celebrating or even going
through the nostalgic events of the previous year.
Most importantly a New Year is a sign of Hope. Hope
Page 1819 of 1871

is a much needed emotion in life but it too can be
quite dangerous. When one is hopeful they feel
nothing can stop them until they reach whatever
they’re hoping for. Well, that was most people in
Wattville at the time. They had hope in me and the
change that I could instill in the community as
councillor, which wasn’t the problem but I was
hopeful that I’d see Thato again very soon and that
my life would slowly get back to its original state. I
was wrong and that made me bitter and hateful. My
life was never the same again and I’d give anything
just to have the time I had with Thato again. When
you have unanswered questions, you begin to answer
them yourself. At that point I was convinced that
Thato was just over me and quite better off without
me. I was starting to be lonely and we all know that
loneliness births depression. Days turned into weeks
and weeks turned into months. Millicent was in
Grade 10 by then and there was still no sign of
Nairobi. I was very happy about that. I was appointed
the official councilor of Wattville which had given me
purpose. Apart from the good perks that came with
the position, I had to deal with petty things such as
getting people jobs and solving family feuds. If it
wasn’t people fighting over family houses, it was
Page 1820 of 1871

stepmothers and step fathers chasing children out of
their homes. Our security company had to grow
because I couldn’t be in two places at once. Grilla was
more than happy to attend to people who were full of
shit. People went as far as paying us to solve people
who were bothering them like that. It was bad
enough that Alfred and his crew started their own
club – an even bigger club right in Wattville. It was
pretty obvious that we were eliminated due to being
the competition. It was clear to me that Alfred just
wouldn’t give up being a pain. We let them be for the
time being. When it was already the first year
anniversary of the tragic incident that took my unborn
daughter’s life, I felt so depressed. I had forgotten
about it until it hit me that very morning. I remember
how moody I was in the office.
Priscilla: “Hey, are you alright?”
Nombulelo: “Yeah, why?”
Priscilla: “Babe, you can’t fool me. You should know

that by now.”
Nombulelo: “I don’t really know. I just feel so down.”
Page 1821 of 1871

Priscilla: “Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? I
can take it from here.”
Nombulelo: “No, I’m fine. I can work.”
Priscilla: (deep sigh) “You can’t possibly tell me that

you forgot what today is.”
She looked at me and it didn’t take me very long to

click and understand what she meant. Suddenly my
heart felt very achy.
Priscilla: “Go, I’ll be fine.”
I just nodded in agreement while she gave me a big

hug before I left. I immediately got into my car and
drove to my house. I wasn’t a drinker, so I had no
alcohol in the house that I could indulge in. I sat on
my couch trying so hard not to cry. All I needed was
the one person I shared that pain with and he was not
there. I dialed his number after much contemplation.
For a change, it rang. It rang after months of no
Page 1822 of 1871

attempts to call it. It gave me hope. I was hoping that
he’d answer it with every ring as I held my breath.
When it went to voicemail that hope was crushed
instantly and my tears fell down my face
uncontrollably. I didn’t hold back that day, I decided
to speak my mind whether he would receive the
message or not. Right after the beeping sound, I was
ready to leave my message.
Nombulelo: (crying) “I honestly cannot believe you,

Thato. I know, you’ve been through the most and
most of it is my fault anyway, but you couldn’t even
call me or text me today of all days?! It’s not like
you’re dead! So why the fuck are you tormenting
me?! Perhaps you’re indirectly trying to tell me to let
you go and live my life without you!”
I couldn’t even continue speaking when the time was

up and the call ended. My heart was bleeding
irrepressibly while my heart was beating copiously. It
felt like I had bottled up all my feelings for the
previous few months that it was finally time for me to
burst. I felt like screaming, but my body forcibly
stopped me. The tears were sweltering my cheeks so
badly that I felt like cutting off the entire skin on my
Page 1823 of 1871

face. I felt like enough was enough so I got into the
shower and took what felt like the most life-changing
cleanse I’d ever had. It was as if I was preparing for
yet another massive change in my life. I wore my
black laced Prada dress I had recently bought.
Actually, Priscilla forced me to buy it since we had to
buy new clothes. She said that I’d need it one day, for
what I had no idea. I matched it with a new pair of
heels I too had recently bought. I got into my car with
no idea as to where I was headed to but I figured that
I’d soon decide while on my way. I found myself
walking into the salon and of course my gay hair
dresser was so happy to see me.
Hairdresser: (smiling) “I see someone finally decided

to miss me.”
It had been months since I even bothered to do my

hair and nails. It was a rough time in my life.
Nombulelo: “Well, I’ve been going through some

things.”
Hairdresser: “Honey, you don’t have to tell me twice.

I mean your hair and nails say it all. Come, come,
Page 1824 of 1871

come. Let’s start with your hair before you change
your mind.”
He started cutting my hair as it had grown a bit

longer. I still wasn’t prepared to plait my hair anytime
soon. I wanted to cut it short and dye it again, but a
different colour that time.
Hairdresser: “Which colour would you like this time?”
Nombulelo: “I don’t know, but give me something

daring and bold. I am ready to officially be the new
me.”
Hairdresser: “Well, I’ve never seen such a funky

councillor in my life before, but who cares, right? I’m
going for red.”
Nombulelo: “Go for it.”
He did my hair while I was telling him about how I was

feeling that day. He had such a good ear for
customer’s problems. He just never interrupted me
while I was talking and I appreciated that about him. I
never thought I’d look so good in red before. I topped
Page 1825 of 1871

off my look with a full face beat and matching nails. I
didn’t like long nails so I always settled for bold but
short. I thanked him and promised to see him really
soon. I wasn’t about to go back home looking like a
million dollars, so I went to the restaurant across the
hair salon. Even though I was about to have lunch
alone, it felt like something I really needed. The
restaurant gave me rather fond memories, some of
Alfred and I eating there together for the very first
time to Thato and I having multiple occasions there as
well but I was about to crush all that. Life simply had
to go on.
Waitress: (smiling) “Good day, ma’am. Table for one?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, please.”
Waitress: “Right this way.”
She took me to a seat that was overlooking the

outside of the restaurant which I didn’t mind at all.
Waitress: “What can I get you to drink in the mean

time?”
Page 1826 of 1871

I didn’t like alcohol at all, so I opted for a virgin mojito.
Nombulelo: “How about a virgin mojito?”
Waitress: “Coming right up.”
She was about to turn around when she took another

good look at me.
Waitress: (excitedly) “Wait, aren’t you the councillor

of Wattville?”
Nombulelo: (smiling) “Is it that obvious to spot me?”
Waitress: “Oh, no, not at all. You look so different this

time. I like your hair. And I must say, I am one of
those that truly appreciate all you have been doing for
our community.”
She walked away leaving me with a broad smile on my

face. I appreciated her words. While I was scrolling
through my phone looking at random news about
Wattville I felt a really heavy presence right before
Page 1827 of 1871

me. I had never smelled that cologne before in my
life.
Man: “If I’d known you were this beautiful I’d have
come for you long ago.”
I looked up and saw a tall, dark chocolate man who

was obviously aware of how handsome he was.
When he smiled at me I was taken aback. The way his
hair was cut so neatly along with the freshly done
manicure on his nails and the gorgeous grey suit he
was wearing was only tailored for him. I must have
been drowning in analyzing him when he brought me
back to life again.
Man: (smiling) “Are you still alive?”
Nombulelo: (embarrassed) “Oh, yes. I’m sorry it’s

just… I don’t think I’ve met you before.”
Man: “You haven’t.”
He reached out for a handshake.
Page 1828 of 1871

Man: “Please allow me to formally introduce myself.
I’m Mason Gumede, the Mayor of Johannesburg.”
Something about him was rather peculiar though he

was a charmer of note. I was completely sold yet I
had no idea what I was getting myself into. At times
things are just not what they seem and people too. I
saw a well mannered and educated hot stud before
me, but little did I know that Mason Gumede was the
Devil’s advocate sent to ruin my life – officially.
As said in 1 Corinthians 16:13 – “Be watchful, stand

firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.”
Chapter 83
Psalm 37:23 – “The steps of a man are established by
the Lord, when he delights in his way.”
Had I known that I’d be buying that dress for a date,

I’d have gone even more of the extra mile. I was
charmed. The last time that happened to me was
when I started dating Alfred. With Thato, it was more
of a spiritual attraction rather than a physical one.
With every word Mason spoke, I just melted.
Mason: “May I sit?”
Page 1829 of 1871

Mason: “And you are Nombulelo Makeba, the newly

appointed councillor of Wattville.”
I had recently turned 20, well, a month prior and I

couldn’t believe I was sitting with that stud.
Nombulelo: “Well, I wouldn’t exactly say newly

appointed.”
Mason: “Hmm, anything under a year old is newly

appointed. I must say, they really did a good job by
choosing you. You’re exactly the change that
community needs.”
Nombulelo: “Well, I do try.”
Mason: (chuckling) “Look at you being so modest. I

am so curious to know more about you, Nombulelo.”
Nombulelo: “Well, I mean you seem like you have all

the information you need.”
Page 1830 of 1871

Mason: “The papers don’t tell you about the real
person behind the title. I’m curious. Who is
Nombulelo Makeba?”
Nombulelo: “Well, I don’t really have much to say

about myself. I was born in Wattville yes. I don’t have
matric. I’ve done some really bad things in my life for
the good of others, of course. I have four siblings and
currently taking care of three of them. I’ve had a
really shit year but I am still alive. I love reading and
helping people has become my passion. Apart from
being in prison once upon a time, there’s nothing
interesting about me.”
Mason: “Well, that’s quite a mouthful. Being an ex-

prisoner does not make you a bad person. I mean, to
be honest I feel like the judge should not have
sentenced you nor given you any prison time. You
were coerced into doing all those activities. I mean,
honestly speaking – Alfred Skosana should still be in
prison as we speak. I hate corruption with a passion.”
He seemed to know more than meets the eye. He

went to explain further things he knew of the trial
which meant that he had done thorough research
Page 1831 of 1871

about me before even meeting me. Perhaps meeting
me there was more than just a coincidence.
Nombulelo: “Well, you seem to know so much about

me yet I don’t know anything about you.”
Mason: “Well, I’m 27, born and bred in

Johannesburg. Sandton has been my home for quite
a while now – years in fact. My mother is a Chief
Surgeon at Morningside Hospital while my father is a
judge.”
I had no idea why he was telling me that, though I got

the feeling that he was bragging to me. It didn’t take
too long to realize how much of a spoilt brat he was.
His English accent proved to me that he indeed grew
up as a rich kid. Despite all of that, I was attracted to
his sex appeal – nothing else was interesting about
him. He was clean, smelled great and made me
laugh. After all I had been through, even a blind man
would have realized just how desperately I needed
the companionship of the opposite sex. He oozed
confidence and most importantly – money.
Page 1832 of 1871

Mason: “I was appointed as the Mayor of
Johannesburg about 2 years ago to be exact, but I am
sure if you google me, you’ll notice every good
influence I’ve had on the community itself.”
Yep, he was not afraid to blow his own horn – the first
turn-off I noticed about him.
Nombulelo: (faint smile) “Oh, I see. Quite an

interesting resumé you must have.”
Mason: (chuckling) “Well, I’ve always aimed quite high

in life.”
We ordered our food and dug in. I gathered he was

quite an active and fit person by his huge muscles I
could see right through his suit. Halfway through the
conversation I got a little bored. It didn’t take me too
long to compare him to Thato. There were just too
many discrepancies between the two of them. Thato
was way more down to earth and though I wasn’t
much of a believer, I enjoyed the faith he had in God
and how he would motivate me. I had no idea why I
was even comparing them at the time because we
had just met. I wasn’t even thinking that he’d have
Page 1833 of 1871

any romantic interest in me at the time. I was slowly
maturing into a woman I too would look up to and
admire. Young girls were starting to see me as a role
model. I was keeping Wattville safe and making
money while at it. I was taking care of my siblings just
the way I had intended. I had slowly started moving
away from crime and it was working for me. It only
took the devil to have a little opportunity to destroy
me and he grabbed it with both hands without
looking back.
I mean, I was slowly turning to God because of the

stories I was subjected to on a daily basis. All thanks
to Mam’ Martha, many young women and girls came
to our shelter daily for assistance. Most of them were
trying to find a way out of their abusive homes. That’s
where Grilla and the team stepped in. At times, it
would feel so personal to me and I’d step in but we
agreed before I took on the councillor position that
we’d not kill anyone anymore. Our lives had been
quite peaceful for the past year. Alfred, Biggie and
Diesel had made quite a name for themselves.
Despite Nkuna being the station commander at the
time, they were operating in much higher capacities
in the criminal world yet he had no power to stop
Page 1834 of 1871

them. They’d get arrested or be suspected of doing
their usual heists, but the case would be thrown out
due to lack of evidence.
Things had become so bad that Nkuna had nearly lost

his life. He resigned from the SAPS and went to live a
quiet life away from Wattville. Things were never the
same again after that. New people came in – corrupt
people and Wattville was slowly going back to its old
ways again. Alfred was yet the mastermind of the
town, having found his new protégé, a young girl who
looked almost exactly like me while he was still living
large and having children everywhere, while Kea had
gone back to being Biggie’s bitch. It didn’t take them
too long to have an even bigger and much better
night club than ours – exactly one year later after ours
burnt down to ashes. I suppose it was their plan after
all. It didn’t take very long for the killings to start
happening at their club. They’d open around 6pm
every night and close down at exactly 6am the
following morning. Learners from schools would flock
to that club and most of the time it wouldn’t end very
well. It felt like I was yet again back to square one and
I couldn’t do very much as just the councillor of a
small town like Wattville. That’s where Mason
Page 1835 of 1871

stepped in. At times, a blessing in disguise comes
along with a curse. That’s exactly what he was. He
had come into my life at exactly the right moment –
to force me out of my comfort zone yet my life
spiraled down way too fast. Despite going down the
right path and trying so hard to make the right
decisions in life, I was not making as much money as I
used to while we had the club. I had to rely mostly on
donations from people and the measly salary I was
making as a councilor. It wasn’t enough to fund the
lifestyle I desired and most importantly, it wasn’t
going to be enough to take Millicent to varsity.
After my lunch with Mason, I had gone home. We

exchanged numbers of course but I couldn’t stop
myself from searching about him online. Most
headlines remained the same; “Mason Gumede, the
son of prominent businessman and Judge Thamsanqa
Gumede making waves in the City of Gold.” It must
have taken me an hour looking for everything I could
possibly find of him on the internet. He was literally
all over; I’d see him mostly with his mother and father
yet I didn’t see anything of him having a girlfriend. I
even went on his social media pages and there was
no such thing of him having any sort of relationship.
Page 1836 of 1871

Perhaps he was a secretive guy – I had no idea. God
can be quite funny when he needs to be. I had been
drowning in my own tears that day because Thato
was nowhere to be found nor heard of and I was
crying because of the bad memories etched into my
brain. I met Mason out of nowhere who seemed to
cheer me up. While I was busy searching for who
knows what online about Mason Gumede, I received
a rather interesting phone call from a number I
couldn’t recognize. I don’t know, but my heart was
beating irregularly at that moment. I answered it
nervously.
Nombulelo: “Hello.”
The other end of the line went dead quiet for a few
seconds.
Voice: “Nombulelo.”
I knew my brain was playing tricks on me. I knew that

voice from a mile away. My heart was beating so fast I
could hear it.
Page 1837 of 1871

Nombulelo: (nervously) “Thato?”
Thato: (softly) “Yes, it’s me.”
I went quiet for a while. I was in sheer disbelief.
Thato: “Are you still there?”
Nombulelo: (nervously) “Uh, yes… I am.”
Thato: “How are you?”
That was quite a dumb question to be honest. He

asked me that almost two years later after he
disappeared.
Nombulelo: “I don’t really know how to answer that.”
Thato: “I’m sorry. That must be a dumb question, I

know.”
Nombulelo: “How have you been?”
Thato: “Alive, I suppose.”
Page 1838 of 1871

It was the most awkward conversation we’d ever had,
yet it felt like the both of us didn’t want the other
person to stop talking.
Thato: “I’m sorry.”
Nombulelo: “What for?”
Thato: “Everything, more especially that I can’t be

with you today. I mean, you know, after what
happened on this day.”
My voice started breaking but I forced the tears back.
Nombulelo: “Yeah.”
He went quiet for a while and I felt the need to speak

up.
Nombulelo: “What took you so long?”
Thato: “What do you mean?”
Page 1839 of 1871

Nombulelo: “What took you so long to call me? To
make contact? Couldn’t you at least send me a text
message or something?”
Thato: “It’s not that easy.”
Nombulelo: “Make it seem easy. Just tell me why.”
Thato: “I wish I could, Nombulelo.”
The way he said my name felt so different and his

vague answers made me so upset.
Nombulelo: “Well, if you can’t tell me anything why

the fuck did you call me?!”
Thato: “I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay.”
Nombulelo: “I am okay, I’ve been okay. I mean I was

basically forced to be okay, wasn’t I?! You
disappeared, Thato! Your mother forced me out of
your life!”
Page 1840 of 1871

Thato: “One day you’ll understand. Please, just give
me time and I’ll explain everything to you. I just need
time, that’s all.”
Nombulelo: “Time is not what I have, Thato!”
Thato: “Please, Nombulelo. I mean, I have made sure

you’re well taken care of. The money I’ve been
sending should be enough for the kids. Let me know
if it’s not enough and I’ll top it up.”
It felt as if he was just being condescending.
Nombulelo: (angrily) “So it was you! It’s been you all

along! You have been sending me money, Thato but
all I ever needed was you! You left me when I needed
you the most – when we both needed each other the
most!”
I was ranting while he was quite calm.
Thato: “I promise you, I will make everything right.”
Nombulelo: “Can you at least keep in touch?”
Page 1841 of 1871

Thato: “I wish I could.”
Nombulelo: “If you can’t then don’t bother calling me

anymore. My heart can only take so much aching.
And don’t bother sending me money anymore either.
I am a big girl, I can take care of myself.”
Thato: “Nombulelo, wait.”
I hung up without giving him a chance to explain

further. I regretted answering that call. I buried my
face in my pillow and wailed. I unleashed a year’s
worth of hurt yet I was crying even more because I
still had unanswered questions. When the mind is
overloaded with countless scenarios, you end up
settling for the wrong conclusion. I was under the
impression that he still blamed me for what
happened to him, I felt his mother blamed me too. I
mean, I’d always be “dangerous” according to the
both of them. And therefore, I had to make a decision
– I had to let go of the idea of being with Thato. It
was just better that way. I couldn’t keep hanging onto
hope like that. I had to move on with my life and find
someone to share my life with. It was not going to be
easy because he had left such a big hole in my life that
Page 1842 of 1871

couldn’t be filled no matter how much I tried.
Perhaps it was because I had met Mason, someone
who had given me a glimpse of what life could be like
with someone other than Thato, I don’t know. All I
knew was that day, I made life changing decisions.
Exactly two years later, I was still the councilor of

Wattville, though I had already started making big
changes in the community. I was still the voice of the
people and I had grown quite a lot in the few years I’d
been running as councilor. My siblings were doing
just great and Priscilla’s mom was a really great
anchor in my life. Millicent was nearing the end of
her matric year, and despite all her academic
achievements from the time she had started high
school, she still couldn’t get a bursary. I had no idea
what to even make of that. She was so bright and her
life was going so well for her. I had big hopes for her
yet God decided to give me a fat slap in the face all
over again. I found myself feeling frustrated all over
again while sitting in front of my desk, when Mason
called me.
Page 1843 of 1871

Mason: “Hey, gorgeous.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “What’s up?”
Mason Gumede, the guy who had abruptly made his

debut into my life just two years prior was someone I
hadn’t exactly labeled yet. We started off as a mentor
and his mentee and we somehow ended up being
friends with benefits. Well, he wanted a relationship,
but I told him I wasn’t ready for all that. He said he
was prepared to wait for me, yet we’d have occasional
dinners and sex afterwards. I wasn’t too sure how I
felt about him simply because I had blocked all entry
for those kind of feelings.
Mason: “You don’t sound very happy to hear from

me. Want to talk about it?”
Nombulelo: “Not really, it’s nothing you can help me

with.”
Mason: “Well, we can talk about it when I get there.

I’m just around the corner.”
Nombulelo: “Wait, you’re coming here?”
Page 1844 of 1871

Mason: “Yes. See you just now.”
He hung up. He always knew where I was but I just

didn’t really think he’d have someone following me or
anything like that. Indeed, he arrived a few minutes
after our phone call. He asked me to send him his
access code. Yes, that’s how serious we were about
life. My grandmother Regina’s house had become an
even bigger community centre and we had security
guards and a very serious security system to keep
everyone safe in there. We had a shelter section for
women and children and a training centre on the
other side. My hands were quite full. He had brought
food for us as usual. He’d always have this wide smile
on his face whenever he saw me.
Mason: (smiling) “Hey.”
It didn’t take him too long to realize I was not feeling

too good about myself. He put the food down and
walked steadily towards me. He embraced me in a
Page 1845 of 1871

very long and tight hug. I’d always feel a lot better
whenever he did that.
Mason: “Are you okay?”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Yes, I think I am.”
Mason: “You know you don’t have to lie to me, you

know?”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Yes, I know.”
Mason: “Talk to me.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “It’s just that Millicent is nearing

the end of her matric year. She has applied yes and
already four institutions have provisionally accepted
her but I don’t know what I am going to do. I don’t
have the funds to take her to varsity.”
Mason: “Why won’t you ever let me help you?”
Nombulelo: “Because you know my reasons. I don’t

take any help from any man – not anymore. I’ll figure
something out. Don’t you worry about me.”
Page 1846 of 1871

Mason: “Nombulelo, just allow me to assist. It’s no
big deal, honestly.”
Nombulelo: “Until I end up owing you like the rest of

them.”
He always took offence to such unkind words from

me.
Mason: “You know I don’t like it when you talk to me

like that. I’m not just any man.”
Nombulelo: “I’m sorry. Do you now still not see why I

don’t want us to date? It just won’t work out.”
Mason: “Well, I don’t care what you say or think. My

mom knows I have a beautiful girlfriend named
Nombulelo Makeba and we’ve been dating for two
years now. Wether you accept it or not – we’re a
couple.”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “Wa bora, waitse (you’re so

boring, you know)?”
Page 1847 of 1871

Mason: “Yes, I know. Come on, eat up.”
We had our lunch while he just couldn’t stop staring

at me. I don’t know, from my side I still didn’t see him
as a potential husband or partner even. We were too
different; he liked fancy things and I’d occasionally join
him on those trips but I never enjoying being in heels
24/7. It felt like I was living the life of a Stepford wife
without even being the actual wife. My style had
changed so much thanks to him. I wore heels a lot
more often and dresses, I even wore a lot more
weaves and much less natural hair. I had become a
very proper lady and I could even do my own make up
thanks to Millicent.
Mason: “On a serious note now, what does Millicent

want to study?”
Nombulelo: “She did say that she wanted to be a

social worker, but it seems as if she’s starting to fall in
love with teaching. I have no idea why she wants to
go for those courses but I suppose the way she grew
up did have an impact on her.”
Mason: “Hmm, I will have a word with my father.”
Page 1848 of 1871

I looked at him in annoyance.
Mason: “Not for any assistance with money, but he

works with foundations and has lots of connections.
She might be able to get a bursary.”
Nombulelo: “I told you, I don’t want any favours from

you.”
Mason: “It’s not a favour, it’s out of love.”
Whenever he’d mention the word I’d tense up. I think

deep down I knew I didn’t love him, I just loved the
thought of him. I looked down and tensed up
immediately.
Mason: “I get it, you’re still hung up over the guy, but
do you ever think you’ll give me a chance to prove
myself to you?”
There he went again.
Nombulelo: “I don’t know how to answer that, to be

honest.”
Page 1849 of 1871

Mason: (nodding) “I know, you’ve always been
honest. That’s what I appreciate about you.”
I could see a tinge of sadness in his eyes.
Nombulelo: “Hey, I don’t mean seem like I want to

intentionally hurt you.”
Mason: “Yes, I know that. I’ll call you later regarding

Millicent. Do you think you can avail yourself this
weekend?”
Nombulelo: “What for?”
Mason: “I want us to go somewhere. Before you ask,

it’s a surprise.”
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Okay, then.”
Mason: “Cool, see you later.”
I waved goodbye to him and I just knew that I was

hurting the guy over and over. I mean, I never slept
over at his place though he’d beg me to. We’d always
Page 1850 of 1871

have sex at my house so that I could chase him away
whenever I felt the need to. I always limited our
sexual time together; we’d only do it once in a while.
Despite all that I had never seen him with any other
woman besides me. I started contemplating life itself.
He was really kind, warm and funny too. He did his
best to make me happy and he stuck it out with me
for a full two years. I wasn’t even sure if I would ever
love him, but rome wasn’t built in one day, right? I
hadn’t spoken to nor seen Thato in almost three
years. Perhaps it was time for me to move on. While
deep in thought Priscilla knocked sternly and walked
in. I always knew it was her because of her distinct
knock on my door and entering abruptly.
Priscilla: “Hey, baby. Are you busy? I just saw Mason

drive out.”
Nombulelo: “Oh, he just came to bring me some

lunch.”
Priscilla: “Hmm, I love a man who can feed a woman.

Why do you look so down? What did the poor guy do
now?”
Page 1851 of 1871

Nombulelo: (frowning) “What is that supposed to
mean?”
Priscilla: “I just mean that he always suffers for

another guy’s sins. You always seem so down
whenever he’s around and to be honest, he is a really
nice guy.”
Nombulelo: “Well, excuse me, Oprah. He heard I

wasn’t too happy over the phone and he was on his
way here already. He told me that he’s willing to assist
with Millicent’s varsity fees and will even speak to his
father for me regarding bursaries.”
Priscilla: (smiling) “See? You are really taking this guy

for granted, to be honest.”
Nombulelo: “What have I done now?”
Priscilla: “This guy is willing to walk mountains for you

and you’ve friendzoned him for the two years. Two
years, babe. You’re lucky he’s staying and only
because sex is part of your deal. If I were him, I’d
honestly let go of you. You clearly are still hung up on
Thato, someone you might never even see again.”
Page 1852 of 1871

Nombulelo: “I don’t think you came here to give me a
big lecture about my relationships. What do you
want?”
Priscilla: “Well, you’ll swallow your own words one

day. Anyway, I have some good news for you. It
seems as if the current Mayor was caught out for
corruption. So, there is a poll out that you should be
made the next mayor.”
Nombulelo: (frowning) “Why me?”
Priscilla: “Why not you, honey? You’re basically doing

a mayor’s job. I say sleep on it and we can decide on
what to do once you decide to do it.”
Nombulelo: “You’re not giving me a chance to say no,

are you?”
Priscilla: “No, baby girl. Your future is in politics. Who

knows? You could be the next president for all you
know.”
Nombulelo: “That’s aiming quite a bit high.”
Page 1853 of 1871

Priscilla: “Faith, honey, faith.”
She walked out of my office while I took my time and

went onto my Facebook page. There were so many
positive comments about me and reasons why I
should be made mayor. I was starting to envision
myself as one. Mason had given me all the training I
needed for the position and I was truly considering it.
It came with a bigger pay cheque, just enough for me
to live a decent life and be able to pay for Millicent’s
varsity fees. While I was browsing through my
Facebook page, an unexpected email came through.
“N Makeba Trust Account. Good day, Miss Makeba.
My name is Rose Downwright, I am an attorney. I
have been assigned your case. I am sure you are
aware that Bongani is no longer an attorney since he
was stripped of his rights to practice years ago. In
turn, I have been requested to let you know that your
trust fund has matured. I couldn’t get hold of you and
have been trying to do so for the past few years. Now
that I have your contact details, I’d like you to give me
a call so that we can process the money into your
account as soon as possible. I shall wait to hear from
you. Regards, R. Downright.”
Page 1854 of 1871

It felt like the blessing in disguise I had been waiting
for. I was stressing over my sister’s varsity fees and
there my answer was staring me right in the eye just
an hour later. My heart was jumping for joy. I called
the only person I could think of who would do such a
thing.
Mason: “Hey, miss me already?”
Nombulelo: “How did you do it?”
Mason: “Do what?”
Nombulelo: “You can be so funny sometimes. You

knew I was stressed over the situation yet you
managed to pull strings like that? Do you have any
idea how long I have been waiting for this? Bongani
had kept me from accessing my trust account for
years!”
Mason: (nervously) “Oh, that. Ye – yes, well, I am a

man of many talents.”
Page 1855 of 1871

Nombulelo: “You have no idea how much this means
to me, Mason. I really appreciate your help.”
Mason: “Yes, well, anything for you, babe.”
Nombulelo: “I’ll see you later.”
Mason: “Hey, do you mind having dinner tonight?

Just the two of us?”
Nombulelo: “Sure, you’ll just text me the details.”
Mason: “Cool.”
We hung up and he sounded so excited. I didn’t know

at the time but his reluctant response should have
shown me that he was not the one responsible for
that wonderful email. I was so blinded by everything
that I assumed it was him. I had no idea my guardian
angel never let me out of sight and that the guardian
angel was not Mason. I was so excited that I called
Millicent to tell her the good news.
Millicent: “Hey, sis.”
Page 1856 of 1871

Nombulelo: “Hey. Is it break now?”
Millicent: “Yes, second break. What’s up? Is

everything okay?”
Nombulelo: “Yes, everything is fine. I have good news

for you.”
Millicent: “I love me some good news. What is it?”
Nombulelo: “I just received an email from a lawyer.

Apparently, my trust fund has matured and that I’ll be
able to access my funds very soon. So, in short, you’ll
be able to go to Varsity without spending a single cent
from your YouTube earnings.”
I could hear the excitement in her voice and it

brought so much relief to me. I felt so joyful knowing
that at least I did something right with Millicent.
Millicent: (excitedly) “What?! I can’t believe it! I am

actually going to varsity? Me? A whole me?”
Nombulelo: (chuckling) “Yes, you are. I mean, I still

can’t believe that Mason pulled it off.”
Page 1857 of 1871

Millicent: (surprised) “Mason? He did this?”
Nombulelo: “I couldn’t think of anyone else who’d do

such.”
Millicent: “I hate to break it to you sis, but Mason

would walk through oceans for you, but I highly doubt
that he managed to do this.”
Nombulelo: “What makes you say that?”
Millicent: “I don’t know, it’s just too much of a

coincidence and besides, I just don’t think he has it in
him, you know. No offence.”
Nombulelo: (sigh) “You just like Thato more than

Mason. Admit it.”
Millicent: “I’ve never hidden my disappointment

about Thato’s departure from you, that is true but
honestly speaking. I have nothing against Mason.
He’s a good guy and you two complement each
other. I just don’t think that he would have thought of
something like this. I mean this is more Thato’s style,
Page 1858 of 1871

you know. Knowing Mason, he would have rather
asked his father to set up a bursary fund for me or
something.”
She was quite wise for her age but it was just
something I wasn’t willing to hear. I don’t know, I just
didn’t want anything to do with Thato at that time. I
just wanted him to stay in my past no matter how
painful it was for me.
Nombulelo: (sigh) “Okay, I hear you. Anyway, I just

wanted to let you know that your future is secured.”
Millicent: (excitedly) “Thank you, sis. I owe you so

much.”
Nombulelo: “You just owe me good grades. Speak

soon. Bye now.”
Millicent: “Goodbye.”
I went about my day and I couldn’t help thinking of

what Millicent had said to me. Every time someone
spoke of Thato, I couldn’t help but reminisce on the
good days we used to have. Sure, we were quite
Page 1859 of 1871

young back then but the love just refused to die out. I
went about my day thinking of all the possibilities
being mayor could bring me. I was a little excited and
hyped about that part but I had no idea what people
were planning my way. By that evening just after I
had arrived home, I found Mason waiting for me right
outside my gate.
Nombulelo: “Oh, hey. I didn’t think you’d be here so

soon.”
Mason: “Well, I was hoping I’d fetch you since we

have a dinner date.”
The way he was dressed made me seem like I was

completely underdressed. He smelled so good as
always.
Nombulelo: “Oh, well. I see you are dressed for the

occasion but on my side, I am dripping in sweat and I
haven’t changed yet.”
Mason: “That’s what I am here for. I was hoping I’d fix

that.”
Page 1860 of 1871

Nombulelo: (frowning) “What did you have in mind?”
Mason: “Well, I have everything covered. I just need

your permission.”
Nombulelo: “Well, I can’t really say no, can I?”
Mason: “Please make my day and say yes – just this

once.”
Nombulelo: “Okay then.”
I didn’t even enter the house, instead he opened the

door for me as always and I entered his car and we
drove off straight to his house. He had another house
in Lakefield, Benoni. It wasn’t very far from Wattville,
but every time I visited him at his house, I was
reminded of my old house – the one I had before it
got burnt down. He seemed so nervous throughout
our drive, I just couldn’t tell why.
Nombulelo: “Is everything okay? You seem quite

nervous.”
Page 1861 of 1871

Mason: (nervously) “I’m uh… I’m okay. What’s there
to be nervous about really?”
Nombulelo: “Okay then. If you say so.”
Oddly, he chose to change the song that was playing.

He was searching for a particular song, I had no idea
why. I just assumed he felt like changing the song
choice and he went straight to Ellie Goulding’s falling
for you. The entire time when it came to the chorus,
he looked at me side-eyed. It was as if he was seeking
validation from my response or reaction. I kept quiet
and indulged in the song as it was one of my favourite
songs. When we reached his house, he rushed
towards my door and opened it for me as always. He
still looked particularly nervous. We walked towards
the door and he held my hand gently and stopped
me.
Mason: (apprehensively) “Before we go in, I’d like you

to trust me. Can you do that?”
Nombulelo: “Well, it depends. Are you planning on

killing me?”
Page 1862 of 1871

Mason: (chuckling nervously) “No, I wouldn’t dream
of it. It’s just that. I have a big surprise planned for
you. It took me all day to fix it and I’d like everything
to be perfect.”
Nombulelo: “Okay then. So, what would you like me

to do?”
He took out a red, satin blind fold.
Mason: “I’d like you to wear this.”
I did as told. I mean, I honestly didn’t see anything

past being friends with Mason at any point, so I
thought he couldn’t really do anything to sweep me
off my feet. He blindfolded me and aided me in
walking into the house. I figured he was taking me to
his bedroom or something as we were walking up the
stairs. After a few minutes, we stopped walking. My
nostrils were met with the utmost redolent scent of
fragrance. He slowly removed the blindfold from my
eyes and his face came quite close to my neck. I saw
the most beautiful, red dress I had seen in a very long
time. I could tell just by looking at it that it was my
Page 1863 of 1871

exact size. It was paired with stunning gold shoes on
the floor, with a little gift bag beside the dress.
Mason: (softly) “I hope I am not over-stepping any

boundaries between us, but I just wanted tonight to
be special. Please, run yourself a bath and put on the
dress. I’ll be waiting for you downstairs. Don’t be too
shy to take your time.”
He gently kissed me on my shoulder and walked out.

I felt something I hadn’t felt for Mason ever before.
My stomach turned but in a good way of course. I
started seeing a very faint glimpse of his romantic
side. Once he was gone, I opened the little gift bag
and was met with a gorgeous sapphire diamond
necklace with matching earrings and a little note.
“Please wear this and trust that I’ll give you the most
unforgettable evening. I can’t wait to see you in them
because I know you’ll sparkle even brighter than these
diamonds. Love, Mason.” Again, the confidence in his
note said quite a lot about him. I chose to trust him, I
mean I had nothing to lose. I ran myself a bath
accompanied by the bath salts he had laid out for me
just outside the bath tub. I felt really good that
evening’ everything felt like it was falling into place. I
Page 1864 of 1871

had no more financial stress and I had the possibility
of becoming the town’s mayor. Who knew what the
future had in store for me? After I was done I noticed
a towel was laid on the bed for me. He must have
come back into his bedroom to see if I was done
bathing at least. I finished getting dressed and ready
and indeed, I sparkled way more than those
diamonds. I looked like a million bucks that evening.
There’s just something about diamonds; indeed the
person who said that they’re a girl’s best friend was
surely not lying. I couldn’t stop staring at myself in the
mirror. He walked in after knocking softly on the
bedroom door. Seeing me dressed in that outfit
made him look at me in another light. Perhaps he
had always seen me like that, but I just never noticed.
Mason: (smiling) “Wow. You look amazing,

Nombulelo.”
He always called me with my full name.
Nombulelo: “Thank you. Had I known I’d been a lot

more prepared for tonight.”
Page 1865 of 1871

Mason: “You don’t need to prepare anything. You’ve
always looked this beautiful to me.”
He said that being so close to me, staring me deeply

in the eye, making me so shy for the first time since I
had met him. I looked down shyly.
Nombulelo: (blushing) “Oh, you didn’t have to say it

like that.”
Mason: “Why? Is my charm working this time?”
Nombulelo: “Well, maybe.”
Mason: “Good then. Allow me to finally sweep you

off your feet.”
He extended his arm for me to embrace and we

walked out of the bedroom together. The lighting in
the house was dim and I saw fairy lights nearly
everywhere. As we walked down the stairs, Ellie
Gould’s music was playing all over again. I felt like I
was walking down the aisle. I could smell the most
beautiful food. There were red scented candles all
around our table, along with different coloured roses
Page 1866 of 1871

– just the way I liked them. I had no idea how he even
knew that because I had never told him a thing. Only
Thato knew that about me but I was quite surprised.
He slowly held me around my waist.
Mason: “I know what our original agreement was, but

to be honest I have loved you from the very moment I
saw you. I have never shied away from that fact. For
the past two years, Nombulelo, you have made me
fall more and more in love with you. Whenever you
leave my bed it becomes so cold. I feel there is no life
without you, and you and I could make magic
together. All I want is a chance to prove myself to
you. I could be the man you’ve always needed in your
life. I want to have a future with you, to grow old and
have children together. We could be the power
couple every one desires to be. Just give me a
chance. What do you say?”
I don’t know if it was because of all the nice gestures

he had made that day, but I finally gave in after two
whole years.
Nombulelo: (nodding) “Okay, we can give it a try.”
Page 1867 of 1871

It was as if he had been waiting for that validation for
all those years. He kissed me in a way he had never
done before. I had my first ever palpable moment
with Mason and it felt quite new and amazing. I had
always been sexually attracted to him but on a
spiritual and emotional level I was never there. We
kissed passionately for quite a while before we broke
the kiss.
Mason: (panting) “I don’t want to ruin the fun by

skipping right to dessert.”
Nombulelo: “Well, we could always just skip our

dinner and head straight there.”
Mason: “And let all the food go to waste? No,

madame. Come, sit.”
He indended on making my evening with him the very

best one. From the food to the music and the
conversation, I must say that it had been the best in
quite a while though he just couldn’t top Thato. I
know, it was very selfish of me to always compare the
two of them, but it just happened unprovoked. My
mind immediately compared them every time he did
Page 1868 of 1871

something to me or with me. After we were done
eating, it was finally time for the sex. That sex felt like
love making for him, I coul tell just how intense he
was doing it, the way he was so sensual about it and
the way he looked at me. He was gentle and soft for
the very first time, yet I enjoyed it roughly with him.
Perhaps it was my way to detach myself from him
emotionally. Nonetheless, he always made sure that
he satisfied me. My heart was not entirely full, I was
still yearning to fell what I had always felt with Thato.
With each day that I spent with Mason, he was
overcompensating for what I lacked in my life but it
was truly never the same as with Thato. It wasn’t
supposed to be the same, but my brain kept on
making the comparisons. In my mind I had found a
man who was willing to accept me for me and finally
have a normal life, but I had no idea that fate was
ready to throw me an even bigger dish of karma,
something I just wasn’t ready for.
Most of us enter relationships or friendships with

good intentions. Some are so good at hiding their
true intentions that they can literally keep you
hanging for the entire duration of that relationship. I
was never ready for what was to come. When it is
Page 1869 of 1871

your turn to be served, all your enemies will be ready
to sit around the table and watch you slowly swallow
your shit down your throat – as stinging as it may be,
they’ll be there for it.
As said in Proverbs 26:27 – “Whoever digs a pit will

fall into it, and a stone will come back on him who
starts it rolling.”
Page 1870 of 1871

Page 1871 of 1871

Nombulelo From Poverty To Gangster Queen

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Each one of us are born with purpose. By the time we

She too like many of our mothers loved a man who

I became ruthless – everyone feared me – even the

As said in Psalm 23 – “The Lord is my Sheperd”.

My name is Nombulelo and this is my story.

I was born in Johannesburg but raised in Mthata

Solomon: “Nomcebo I have brought someone very

Nomcebo lashed out as expected. Who’d be excited

Zandile: (angrily) “Over my dead body Solomon! I was

Nomcebo was playing a very dangerous game; she

Nomcebo: (angrily) “Then maybe you should choose.

Solomon: “If you want to leave then you know where

She was mortified to hear those words but she didn’t

The only time my grandmother would lift a finger at

Nomcebo: “Hmm sawubona (hello) Zandile. What

She knew very well she wasn’t Nomcebo’s favourite

Zandile: “I am going to make tripe as you can see.”

Nomcebo: “I can assist you with that.”

Zandile: “No thank you you know very well Solomon

Nomcebo scoffed in annoyance and let her be. That

My grandfather was with my grandmother and

Solomon: (shaking head) “No no hospitals. You know

Zandile: “But how will I cure you when I don’t even

Solomon: “Zandi it seems I have been poisoned. I can

Zandile became really terrified when she heard those

Zandile: (worried) “Sol how when I am the only one

Solomon: “I know. You could never do that to me.”

Zandile: “Well if you were poisoned we should get you

Solomon: “No I don’t have much longer. I am dying.”

Zandile: (tearfully) “You can’t say that Sol. What

Solomon: “I made sure that you and Gugu will be

Zandile: (crying) “Sol please. Try to fight it. Gugu still

Solomon: “Zandi I have had a good life. You have

He begged her to stay with him while his body was

Nomcebo: “What did you do to my husband?!”

Zandile: “I didn’t do anything. He seems to have been

Zandile: “I did no such!”

Nomcebo hysterically started screaming alerting

Nomcebo: (screaming) “Yoh! Yoh! Yoh! uZandile

She was screaming when everyone rushed into the

Nomcebo: “Masimshiseni (Let’s burn her)! She killed

By then the uncles had arrived.

Uncle 1: “Hold your horses now Nomcebo. We don’t

Uncle 2: “Why are you acting stupid mfo (brother).

Uncle 1: “How do you two know that he was even

They both kept quiet.

Uncle 1: “The mortuary will be here. They will

Nomcebo: “I’ll be damned if I let you get any cent

They all left while only Uncle 2 slept in Zandile’s

As expected soon after she drove out a terrible fire

As Psalm 23:4 says; “Even though I walk through the

Zandile drove as far as she can throughout the night

Regina: “Okay this will be your room. It is big enough

It had a small kitchen as well which was perfect.

Zandile: “Thank you Ma.”

Zandile: “Yes I come from the Eastern Cape.”

Zandile: (laughing) “None taken. I am originally from

Regina: “That explains the Durban accent.”