PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

CHAPTER 1

NELISILE MAGWAZA (Nelly Page)

CHAPTER 1

I STARE AT THE casket as it goes down

with the love of my life, how could he leave
me like this, he was too young to die. How
can life be this cruel to one? Yes, I know

that poor people are not the most liked nor

the favored in this world but how could
they take away the air that I need?
They cover his casket with sand, I thank
God that he had a life insurance policy,
otherwise, I don't know how I would have
managed to pull all this off– giving him a
dignified funeral.

Life is gonna be rough for me because

even though we were poor, he made sure to
make ends meet, I don't know if I'll be able
to do that for myself.
Those fake tears falling from his so-called
mother pisses the hell out of me, I mean
she never even called to check up on her
son, just to know whether he was fine or
not, his whole family was like mine– a fuck
up.
The funeral just ended we are heading back
to our home, it's a shack but at least we
owned our yard, which he worked hard for.
After eating– people, including his family,
leave. I'm Left with my thoughts. Bongani
was really a great boyfriend, yes we weren't
married but we were happy and that was all
that mattered. He made me happy with all
the little things that he thought didn't
matter. I was always laughing and blushing
with him, my safe place and my happy
place. When we first met, I was just
another street kid–or adult.
I was chased away from home because
apparently I was not a virgin anymore and I

was degrading the family, which was totally

untrue.
Something had happened with those ladies

basemhlangeni, I don't know what but they

were actually doing it to spite my family. I

was chased away, I left, and they were

sweet enough to give me a taxi fare. When

I arrived here in Johannesburg I lived there

in the streets. After a few months, he came

to my rescue and brought me here to

Slovo– a very isolated unsettled place in

Johannesburg. We didn't date from the

word go, but we fell in love as time went by

we fell in love and became inseparable, we

loved each other, and he was my Pillar, but

life has its own plans.

Life is really short. I'm 23 and jobless, I live
in an informal settlement, and at this point,

my life is just a hopeless phase, I'm tired. I

get a call from the Standard Bank, I

practice a few breathing exercises.

"Hello," I have to sound like an educated

person.
"Good afternoon Nelisile, I hope you are

doing well. This is Taylor, from Standard

bank life insurance, I'm calling to inform

you that you needed to come to our nearest

branch office tomorrow morning," she says.

"Okay, thank you, I'll be there," she bids me

farewell, I then hang up.
I should cook and just sleep the day away,

I'm tired emotionally and physically, this

is hard, harder than anything that has ever

happened to me.
_

_
Waking up early is never a mission to me,

I'm a morning person, and I'm used to this

so I don't take time waking up and

preparing for my meeting with those

clientele life people. I wear my black dress,

that's what I'll be wearing, I know I'm not

allowed to mourn culturally but I'll be

wearing these just to ease my soul. After

looking at myself for the last time in the

mirror, I hit the road, this bridge will be the

death of me, I have to climb it to get to

Eldorado Park. Getting into the taxi, I greet

the people that are already there and go to

the backseat and put on my headsets. I

scroll through my and Bongani's pictures.

The fact that he is gone is a bitter pill to

swallow. We get there sooner than I had

anticipated, I take my ten-minute walk,

holding my bag tightly to my chest because

someone would snatch it and I wouldn't

want that because my ID, his death

certificate, and all documents are here, I

brought it here with me, even though they

didn't ask me to, I just brought them just in

case.
I get to their offices, and I exchange

greetings with the security guard, he seems

to be friendly, but I'm too stressed to be

having small talks with people I don't know.

I walk furtherly in, their offices are

beautiful, no lies.

Getting into the reception, I see the

receptionist there, she's chewing her gum,

not a s hard as these other people portray

it on television. She smiles too, wuu to

think I was hating on receptionists because

of how rude I thought they were, basically, I

was hating on them because of other
people's perspectives on them.

"Hi," I say giving her a small smile, I'd smile

wider if it wasn't for my heavy heart.

"Good morning ma'am," she is still smiling.

"I'm here for a morning appointment, Ms.

Magwaza, Nelisile Magwaza," she types

something on her computer and sends me

in.

I'm walking into a young man and woman,

they look monied, and they look beautiful

together too. Maybe he and I would also

look this beautiful too if were given the

chance to.
"Good morning," I say, after taking a seat.
"How are you?" she asks
"I'm good," I'm not good, I'm far from being

good. She nods, she tells me that he only

took an R200 000 life cover, so it's left for

only me, I cannot believe this I thought it

was just a funeral covering plan, not a life

cover!

After our small "meeting" is dismissed I

walk out of the building. My emotions at

this point are mixed, I'm glad he thought

about me but I'm still sad that he left me.

I'm almost bumped into by a car, yoh the

driver cusses at me, he does not even ask

if I am okay, he assumed that I was high

and drunk, anyways life goes on. I have

hundred rands, so I go to the nearest KFC

and buy myself a three-piece chicken.

As I'm walking on the sidewalk, a black

Mercedes Benz window opens and a very

much not handsome guy's face appears.

"Sawubona sisi," he says, I'm really not in

the mood for this.

"Hi," I respond coldly.

"Ngicela ukukhapha," (Can I give a lift) I'm

really really not interested.

"No, I'm good thank you,"

"Hawu, ngiyakukhapha nje, I won't be a

nuisance," he says as if I'll get inside the

car
with him. This is South Africa for goodness
sake.
"Thank you, but I'm fine, I know my way to

the rank," he clicks his tongue before

speeding off, aii some people are weird.

Upon my arrival at the taxi rank, I go

straight to the back seat avoiding to pass
on the money, I won't be able to do all the

counting today my mind is occupied with a

lot of things. I don't know how I drifted to

sleep, but I just got woken up by the taxi

driver asking me where my stop is because
I'm the only one left in the taxi, I didn'teven

see our driver. He looks handsome and

Clean.
"Slovo park bhuti," he nods and goes back
to the driver's seat, he doesn't complain
whatsoever, we are at Soweto now so he

has to turn back and drive to Slovo.

He just d ropped me off, at my corner,
thank God I was dropped off by a taxi, had

it been a
car, people would have talked, a lot.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

CHAPTER 2
NELISILE MAGWAZA

I'm in my house, reminiscing about our

lives, the good days we had shared, he was

the best boyfriend ever; far from perfect

but I wouldn't have traded him for anything.

I fee sick, I feel like I'll vomit. I run to the

bucket and throw up everything there with
tears running down my face, I remember

the first time we met. I was on the streets,

the dirthad covered my acne, which I was

thankful for. I lived on the streets for 9

whole months,people assumed that I was
on drugs– I wasn't– so they'd run thinking

I'd snatch theirbags from them, but I had

learnt to hustle in a different way,

pickpocketing, with so much hassle. At

first I would get caught everytime I try to

pickpocket people and get beaten up, but

they made sure that it was to a limited
extent, probably because I was a girl. My

skills got better with each passing day, I

would pretend to have been unconscious,
somewould pass me and some would think

they were good Samaritans and try to

helpme not knowing that by the time they

leave they would leave with empty wallets.

Idid that for so long, but one day I tried
pickpocketing this scary guy, he was kind-

hearted enough to try and help, he then

searched himself before leaving, I guess he

knew, he pretended to leave I then opened

my one eye, and then quickly closed itwhen
I realized that he was stomping his feet

instead and staring at me.

"I didn't realize that people can open their

one eye while unconscious," he said.

"They do," I said with my eyes still closed
he chuckled.

"So even now, you are unconscious?"

"Yes I am" he laughed so hard that I opened
my eyes and starred him, when hestopped

laughing I rested my body and closed my

eyes, continuing the unconsciousact.

"Asambe," (Let's go) he said to me.

"Where are we going?" I asked opening my

eyes, I was really panicking thinking

he'dtake me to the police station.
"you'll see, stand up, I promise you after

going where we are going you'll never

dothis nonsense of yours again," he said.
What he said was true because till now I'm

still not pickpocketing, I don't think I'll ever

go back to that life, ever! I'm preparing

food.
As I'm cooking thinking about my sombre
mood, a knock comeson the door, who

could that be, I'm not even popular here.I

open the door and I'mmet by the tall taxi

driver, Gosh.
"Hello sisi" I tighten my face expression, I

don't want to be friends with taxi

driverswhat would people say? My
boyfriend dies and then suddenly I'm

friends with handsome taxi drivers.

"What do you want"
"You!" he says, looking serious.

"What do you want from me, and what

makes you think you'd get me?" I raise

mybrow.
"I get everything I want sisi," he says, okay
this is weird.

"Yohh!" I get back inside and shut the door,

he'll leave, no matter what. I dish formyself
when my food is ready.
After eating i open the door, planning to go
throw thebones away but I'm stopped by

this tall taxi driver, he is sitting on the

stoep, heis very tall, because his head is

levelled with the window. I look at him and

and passhim like I don't see him, he is
persistent, I don't know what he wants here,

people are watching, but I'll leave him here.

I lie on the bed.

I wonder what he was doing, Bongani,

getting caught up in the middle of blazing
guns, he knew that Slovo was a really bad

place, Iread the letter he left for me earlier

today, he was talking about how life goes

on,that I should not hold on and that I

should move on. I don't think I can do that,
really,I really loved that guy, but I think I'll

move away from Johannesburg as soon as

Imake more money just to have a breather.

_
_
_

I'm woken up by water hitting the roof, it's

raining. I love the sound, but I think I forgot
clothes outside, how could I forget my

clothes when I know that there are thieves

here. I hate getting out of bed but I do

anyways, upon opening the door, I see that

tallfigure, hhaybo he is still here? Aii some
people don't give up really, he has
myclothes with him, he is sitting under the
veranda.

"Hey, come in" I say. He doesn't hesitate, he

takes two strides and comes in. He looks
cold, I'm not heartless– okay maybe a little

because I left him outside– so I decide

totake a blanket and give him to warm

himself while I make him tea.

"Why didn't you go home, it's raining," I ask
and tell him.

"Home is not home without you in it," well,

he is sick in the head and mad in
thestomach.

"I've never been in your home," I say trying

to dismiss him.
"But you will be, soon," I rest my case!
"Okay, why didn't you go back to where you

live?"
"Because I didn't have a ride back home" I
didn't see his taxi vele.

"How did you come here?"

"I was dropped off" he is so damn serious,
he doesn't smile, Nothing! He gives meone

word answers.
"Okay, by who?"

"My brother," he is now looking around, I

don't know for what.
"Why didn't you call him to fetch you"

"My battery died, do you have a charger?"

he asks taking out his small Samsung,who
uses that these days, I try hard not to laugh
but I can't stiffle it, I burst outlaughing. He
is just staring, I'm now embarrassed
because, my moment of laughingis over;

laughing actually felt good, I kind of forgot

that I'm a widow, is that even applicable to
me? I was a girlfriend. I clear my throat.
"No I don't have" he nods. "Are you hungry"
I'm asking this because that little good side

of me keeps on screaming that I'm cruel,

so I'm trying to prove that I'm not.
"Yes, I am," he says. I had hoped he'd say
no.
"Okay, I'll dish for you," I say, getting up, I'm

not a great cook, we lived on Kotas, so

Idish the gravy, fried chicken and rice, I

tried.
It's either he is a foodie or he was really
hungry. There's no way he eats like that on
a daily basis. He asks for water, I give him
water
in a jug, he gulps it.

It's raining heavily and it's 10 pm, he can't

leave, he has to sleep onthe couch, but I
doubt he will fit in because he is very tall.
I'm also not comfortablesharing a bed with
him.

"You will sleep on the couch, is that fine?"

"Yes, it is." he is so weird!

.
.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 3

NELISILE MAGWAZA

I just woke and aren't I glad that this tall

and dark creature is not here? I'm hoping
he doesn't come back. I don't know how I
slept well with him here with no thoughts
of him doing something bad to me.

I fix my bed and go brush my teeth before

bathing. I groan when I hear my stomach
growling, I'm not in the mood.
As I'm eating, I hear chanting, I wonder
what that is about. Here, everythingthat

happens is eyebrow raising. Like, a small

fight between two neighbouring
streetscould turn into a big fight that
involves guns.
My inner self wants to go and look, I'm glad

I listened because people are gathered

around my home, they have tires and
everything that they use to burn people
alive, my first thought is, who do they
want? I look around and it clicks!

They want me! I'm the only person who

lives here and they know, so it wouldn't
make sense that there's someone else that
they want. I can'tescape, there's no where
to run, I pray before making my way out, I'll
try to understand what they want.
"Nangu, there she is!" someone says and
they start a commotion, all the people are

talking, I can't even make out what they are

saying.
"She knows everything that her boyfriend
has been doing, she can't tell us that she
doesn't know," my boyfriend? what was he

doing? as far as I know, although

heseemed to scare people, he was the
sweetest.
They talk, all I can make up of their
conversation is that he used to distribute
drugs, I've never seen drugs with him
though.

"Akashiswe, burn her!" a woman says,

doesn't she have a motherly conscious?
Won't she even ask what I knew and what I
didn't.
"Akashe" they all chant, my heart is beating

nearly out of my chest, tears are streaming

down my face. I keep screaming "What
have you done, Bongani" in my head, I
cannot understand why he had to sell
drugs. It's now clear that the bullet that
killed him was meant for him. They

wouldn't lie about something like this. My

head is spinning, I did not expect this.
One of them roughly grabs me and put me
in the center of their cirle, what I know is
that the only way which I could survive is if
I somehow have superpowers and will be
able to disappear, but I can't and I know I

won't survive. I just wish they could just kill

me without inflicting pain. I hate pain, be it
physical or emotional pain, I hate it! Even
the police, they won't be able to stop these
people, when they are determined nothing

can stop them. I've seen them kill people,

whether you are innocent or not, they kill
you and then ask questions later, I look at
community leader, Bab'Sangweni, he is
looking at me with so much resentment, I
can't believe that he once liked me and
treated me like his child, the hatred I see in
his eyes is hard to even digest.

"I didn't know anything, I swear baba" I

mouth, he looks away, he doesn't believe
me.
These tears are too much to hold in, I can't
say anything because even if I speak,

whatever I say will fall on deaf ears.They

won't beat me, I know they don't beat up
women, they just burn them, they cover me
with layers of tires, I can't hold it in, I
scream. Maybe I'm not crying for this only,

I'm crying for my dead father, the cause of

all this that's happening today. If he hadn't
died I wouldn't have been here, I'm crying
for my mother; the one who wrapped me in
plastics and put on my father's gate
because she wasn't ready for a baby. I'm
crying for Bongani, maybe if he didn't die by

a bullet the community would have

targeted him instead of me.
"Fokof where do you get the right to do this
to a woman?" I know this voice, it's that taxi
driver.
"konje wena unguban?" (Who are you?) I

don't know who replies.

"I'm a nobody, but if you continue doing
this, just know that you all would wake up
dead" they laugh. "Eyyy Nina magolo,
ngowaka Ntshangase mina, angizalwa nje
mina kwa
Gwala," (hey, you pussies, I'm a

Ntshangase, I was not born from the Gwala

clan.) he cusses, he won't win, he should
just leave me, I've made peace with my
death.
"Leave," I say and purse my lips into a thin

line, he doesn't say anything.

"She didn't know anything" who's that, it's
one of my favorite used-to-be druggie. He
is clean now. He just appeared,
breathlessly.
"You know I used to use these things, bhuti

Bongani made sure that it didn't get to her

ears," so it's true, I fell in love with a drug

dealer. They start to talk amongst

themselves.
"But still, she used to live on the money that
was made by destroying our children's
futures," an old woman says, Sizwe, the ex

druggie chuckles.
"if we are now punishing people who are
innocent and were unaware of how the
money they spent was made, we might as
well start with some people here!" he says

eyeing a few of them. "Some of you know

what your children do to earn money but
still you spend it, should I name a few, or
you are releasing her?"
"Myekeni," (leave her,) the seemingly leader
of these people says, people start leaving
after uttering few insults at those that

'misled' them. I'm still in the middle of the

yard with tires around me, Sizwe and the
taxi driver help each other when freeing
me.
"Thank you" I mutter, and start walking. I
don't know what I would have done if he

hadn't stalled them until Sizwe came

through, maybe I'd be ashes now.
"Nelisile," I stop in my tracks but I don't look
back, "can we talk? You need to go to the
police," No I need not, if our police system

worked, they would have came and took

my statement or anybody elses' regarding

Bongani and all the other people that died

in the hands of Slovo's community.
"I need to be alone" I say.
"Please."
"Can we do this next time?" I say coldly

"Can I come inside, I promise I won't

disturb you," I sigh, I won't win.
"Alright," I don't look back at him, I continue
walking until I'm in the house. I go to the
bedroom and lie on the bed, letting my
tears fall without making any sound, fuck

life is hard.
.

.
.

#unedited
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 4

NELISILE MAGWAZA

Yesterday was a really tiring, everything

about yesterday was draining. When I got
home I went straight to bed, it was still
early for me to sleep but I did anyway. It's
morning, I slept the night away, but, I'm still

shaken.
I sit up on the bed and hug my knees, sigh.
Yesterday, when closing my eyes all I could
think of was, the events that took place, me
almost being burnt, I chuckle lowly– it's not

a pleasant chuckle, I'm trying to push back

my tires, I can't cry forever.
I feel stupid, I was living a lie, all along. I
can't bear this pain in my heart, and even
though I try to purse my lips, a prevention
from crying, I fail. This is something that I

will never heal from, it's a scar that will live

forever.
I'm thankful for everything that Bongani
has done for me, but I hate him, I'll
foreverhate him. He could have at least

told me, I would have chosen a path that I

felt wasgood for me, even if it meant that I
choose him at least I would have died
forsomething that I knew. He was selfish,
although he knew how dangerous it is to do
things that are out if line here, he still went
and did it, it's puzzling.

I finally decide to get off bed and go check

what it is that is smelling so divine. He
cooked, nothing fancy, it's just chicken
stew and uphuthu. I have never cleaned
since the death of Bongani, I was not okay,

I didn't have time to clean. He cleaned,

which man does this?

Oh he is outside, I hopehe doesn't leave as

yet because I think I'll be scared to stay
here alone, but again who the hell is this
man here?

He is sitting on the chair, his head buried in

his hands, I think he is sleeping. I
gentlyshake him. He raises his head and
looks at me, his eyes are bloodshot, he
indeedwas sleeping.

"Uhm, hi, you can go and sleep on the bed"

My fake nice personality is out to play.
"No, thank you, I'm fine" okay well I tried.
"Thank you, I don't know how I will ever
repay you for saving me," It's true, I need to

find Sizwe and thank him too.

"I love you" typical man. I chuckle.
"Oh, so you want me to pay you off by
sleeping with you?" I'm in disbelief of what I
just said, how the hell did I get to that
conclusion?
"Did I ever speak about sleeping with you?"

he sounds angry... Or offended?

"No but..." I try to explain.
"But nothing, hambo lala I'll dish up for you
before leaving" (Go and sleep) he says I roll
my eyes, it's morning, I just woke up, I can't

go back to sleep.

"Nelly," I snap my eyes, when the hell did I

sleep.
"Hey," I sit up.
"I've been trying to wake you up," he
chuckles. His teeth are well structured, I

wish I could offer him a smile instead of

this blank stare. "But I let you be because
you seem tired," I am.
"I'm so hungry," I say when I realize that my
stomach is growling.
"Let me get you your food," I nod.

The food is really good, this is why I'm

eating like I wasn't fed for days. I feel his
eyes burning me, so I look up, he's staring! I
clear my throat and start eating like a lady.

"Did you eat?" I ask, after swallowing my

food, he shakes his head no. "You've been
here for so long, who's driving if you are
here?" I ask our of curiosity.
"Driving what?" He doesn't know the rule of
not answering a question with a question?
"Your quantum?" He laughs and shakes his

head, oh he has a dimple below his right

eye.
"So all along you think I'm a taxi driver?"
hawu, kanti what is he? a bus driver?
"Aren't you a taxi driver?" he shakes his

head no.
"No, I'm not a taxi driver," I put away my
food, another lie? Okay, he didn't really say
that he was a taxi driver but come-on!
"So what are you?" He shrugs.
"For now, I'm nothing," He shrugs,
confusing is starting to dwell on me.
"I was a pilot, two years ago until early this

year." He makes sure that I feel that he is

dismissing this topic. I can't miss the
sadness in his voice as he says this.
"Ohh," I don't know what to say now, we sit
in silence, uncomfortable silence.

"Hey, what's your name?" I've been meaning

to ask, but these past few days have been
stressful so I forgot.
"I slept here two times but you don't even
know my name" I roll my eyes "Stop that,

you look like you are about to die," I laugh a

little.
"You look better now. Miyalo, Miyalo
Ntshangase." He says, I nod my head.
"Ulaphi umnden wakho?" (Where is your
family?) I sigh.
"They are around," I don't want to talk about
them, to me every one of them is dead.

"Oh okay-ke," He nods his head.

"Ya, nondwayiza, usuhleli nelinye isoka kwa

mfana wam? Wasn't sending your men to
kill him enough?" (Yes, whore, you are

already sitting with a man in my boy's

house?) I would never do that, I loved
Bongani, I still do. I don't know when and
how she got in. She takes a seat next to
Miyalo, he's uncomfortable, I can see by

how he shifts.
"Dali, when were you planning to bring my
son's money to us?" I should have known.
"Which money, ma?" she claps her hands
once.
"The insurance money that you claimed." I
haven't, I still need to submit everything
online, to clear the money.
"I'll sign it over to you," I have no idea what
I'm doing, but it will give me peace, I don't

mind.
"And, this; you see all this, it is all my son's,"
I swallow, they are gonna make my life a
living hell because I have no one, "I'm
giving one week and I want you the hell out
of here!" I swear I won't cry in her presence.
I look at Miyalo, all I see in his eyes is

sympathy, I hate that look.

"I'll leave," where will I go? I have no place
to go.
"Of course you will," She clicks her tongue
and gets of the couch.
"I need to be alone," I close my eyes and
sink on the chair.
"But..." He's annoying.
"Miyalo, I need to be alone, now!" it comes
out as a harsh whisper.

.
.

.
#Uneditied
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 5

***Flashback***

IN the 1900s, the Ntshangase's were one of

the richest family in their village called
Umbumbulu, they were farmers. They were
one of the families that had the perks of
having servants.
Money was something that they never
lacked. Still in the 1900s, Bhekizizwe who
was 28 years old came across a 19 year
old Miyalo Ntshangase. Miyalo had no
family whatsoever, and because they
shared a surname, Bhekizizwe took him in
and gave him a job as a herder, he was
treated like family.
Bhekizizwe soon after lost his father, he
was the heir so he took everything to his
name, it was his, because he was the only
child in the family.

Miyalo worked his ass off for the

Ntshangase's as a herder and when they
offered to reward him, he declined to take
money and would rather say that they
should put it as an investment, he will take
it when he had pay the bridal price of the
woman I loved, but by then he hadn't seen

anyone worthy of his love, so he continued

working his ass off. Bhekizizwe obeyed
and put the money in a safe place, he
planned to give it all to Miyal, but Miyalo
died before he saw a woman that caught
his eye.
Life went on after his funeral. A few years
later Bhekizizwe had a son, his only child,
whom he named Zethembe. He loved his
son, his heir, and when the time came he
used the money that he saved up for

Miyalo to pay for Zethembe's wife, he was

dead anyways so no promise was broken–
so he thought. He had his first grandson,
Hlanganani was the name of his grandson.

A man never turns back on his promise,

things started being rough for them as a

whole. He starting being ill. It came as a

surprise to them, his son and his wife; so
Zethembe decided to take his father to a
well-known witch-doctor in
uMhlabuyalingana.

Zethembe led his father in and went back

outside as he was instructed.
Bab'Ntshangase was sure that that man
was a scam, the room that was used as a
room of consulting was empty as his
pockets. "Uneskweletu, you are owing a
person; a dead person," he started off, Bab'
Ntshangase was annoyed already, he didn't
want to be there in the first place, "Miyalo,"
that caught his attention.
"How do I pay him off, my wealth is
vanishing with every new day," He said,

tiredly.
"He wants a son from the womb of the
woman that was welcomed to the family
because of his money,"
"MaDlomo?"
"Yes, her. Your son already has a son, that
son was introduced to your ancestors,
while you are still alive make a small
ancestral hut, that's where you will
introduce your grandchild, name him
Miyalo! He should never be acknowledged
as your son's son, he is a Miyalo, a herder
of yours that you share a surname with.
Taking him to your alter will only ruin his
life!"
~
MIYALO NTSHANGASE

Everything he tries goes bad, he doesn't

know where the problem is. His brother
tried pleading with their ancestors, but it
was like putting petrol on a lit fire,
everything worsened.
The problem started when his father died,
2 years back. Epilepsy attacked him, he

then lost his job because, what would

happen if he had an episode while flying? A
nightmare! He had to go back home, his
roots, but it wasn't the same without
Hlanganani there so he decided to come
back to Johannesburg.
Seeing his life crumbled to his feet was
hard, but he could hold on because he
could cry on Thandolwethu's– his
girlfriend– shoulder. She was a pillar of his
strength, but even she couldn't stay with a

broken man like him, he doesn't blame her.

She left him, and everything went South.
What hurt him even more was the sudden
marriage, Thandolwethu got married three
months after they broke up; that meant she
had always had relationship with her now
husband. It hurt, but he had to accept and

move on.

He believes that he was meant to see Nelly,

it was fate. That day, he stole keys from his
brother's safe and took one taxi, he wanted
to rewind, but he ended up ranking. When
he saw her, his whole world became her.
She was all that he wanted to see, in her he
saw a future; and even though he was
scared that she would be taken, he was
willing to take a risk. She seemed and
sounded like home, weird right?

"Bafo, I don't know how I'll help you,"

Hlanganani says taking a seat, they tried
everything. They are in Hlanganani's study,
a taxi owner with a study? Cheesy! But he
is not here for that he is here to talk about

his problems.
"A home is the only thing I need," Miyalo
says.
"You do have a home nje,"
"Where ghosts haunt me?" Hlanganani
laughs, sometimes it's therapeutic to laugh
at serious situations.
"Where did I ever go wrong?" Hlanganani
asks, and looks up the ceiling. Tears are
almost blinding his version. It hurts when
his little brother hurts and he can't do
anything to help.
"It's not your fault," Miyalo says, "I'll drive
today," He adds.
"No, you are not a taxi driver; we didn't put
you to school for taxis, we took you to a
flight training school," Hlanganani heaves a
sigh. Miyalo knows that it's not only

because he has higher standards, the

problem is, Hlanganani also fears that he
might be attacked by his sickness while
driving, he doesn't want problems.
"It all failed, I'm not fit, and to think that I'm
only 29 years old," It is too early for his
dreams to be crushed and blocked like this!

"I promise I'll get to the bottom of this,"

Hlanganani convinces, maybe he is
convincing himself more than he is Miyalo.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 6

NELISILE MAGWAZA

A knock!
I don't want anyone here, I want to be along
and savour my and Bongani's memories; I
still love him!
It's my second last day here, I've signed
everything but I haven't handed it over to
anyone. I have no plan, I don't know where

I'll go after leaving here, chances if me

going back to the life I was living before
Bongani are higher than my grades.
I know signing everything and handing it
over to those drunkards sounds stupid, but
it's not. People that are hungry for money
have no limits they could. To any extent to
make sure that I suffer for running away
with their son's money.
The knocker is persistent, I groan and get
off bed. After opening the door I instantly
want to jump over him and hug him, I didn't
realize that I missed him until now. Since I
kicked him out, he never came back, it's
been over 24 hours.
"Can I get in?" I quickly make space for him,
he gets in.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, hardening

my face.
"You don't want me here?" He raises his
brow, I suck my teeth, I won't answer that.
"Anyways, I'm here for you," he's here for
me?
"You want to do what to me?"
"What would I do to you though?" he

chuckles and eyes me from head to toe, I'm

offended. "I got you a place to stay, it's my
brother's house that he doesn't use," he
says, now I want to be grateful, but I don't
know Miyalo.
"What's in it for you?" I have nothing to
offer, so obviously it's my vagina.
"You'll pay me back, obviously, I'll help you
find a job," I don't even have grade 12, God
I'm a disgrace.
"Come with me," I sigh and take a seat next

to him. He takes my hand into his, I startle

a bit because he caught me off guard. His
hands are big and warm, soft too. "I
promise I won't hurt you, well at least not
purposefully" his voice is gentler.
"I don't know," I release a sharp breath.
"You won't know, unless you let me try," this

conversation doesn't feel like it's still about

my issue, but...
"Okay, Let me pack my clothes," I say and
go to my bedroom.
"You don't need them, I'll buy you new
ones," I'm not allowing that, ever.
"No, it's okay," I'm dismissing the topic.
_
_
_
He came with a car, it's written Toyota
Hilux, it's black and clean. These cars are
driven mostly by Big Zulu men, you see
those that feel like they own the world? But
they have only hundred rands in their
banks, even that R100 is to keep their bank
accounts running.

I get in the car when he gets into the

driver's side and then the car takes off.
A call comes through, he keeps on
ignoring. Now I'm thinking about a lot of
things, the first thing that strikes my mind
is, does he have a wife? I look out the
window, if that's true then I don't know what
will be of me.
"Yewena Miyalo," and why is his car talking,
it startled me gosh. Oh he's connected the
phone to the bluetooth. "Didn't I fucking tell
you not to drive?" The man on the speaker
is not talking, he is barking over his voice!
"It was an emergency bhuti," his tone is
kept low and calm, he's respectful.
"Don't you have a driver, surely I'm not
paying Zein for shit!" That man is probably
red, I wish I could see him, he sounds

interesting– just for drama. I'm watching

Miyalo. He's probably used to his brother's
tone, he is not flinching. He is focusing on
the road.
"We'll talk when I get there bhuti," he says
and sighs. He shouldn't, I want to hear the

end of this fight.

"Do you want to die?" now the brother's
tone is softening.
"I'm with Nelly, can we talk when I get
there?"
"Give her the phone," can the earth open
up? I want to die for a few seconds.
"She's listening," I give Miyalo a look.
"Makoti," I didn't know I was married. And
he knows about me? Why?

"Yebo bhuti," My voice comes out as

innocent as I can fake it to be, it's squeaky
too. Miyalo chuckles and shakes his head,
he needs to explain things to me. He can
laugh now, he'll be crying soon.
"Are you well? Please keep an eye on him,
and put him in line," someone get iswazi for
me. I've been promoted from being a

almost-widow to being a mother! I need to

rearrange Miyalo's bum. I give him a smirk
before I say,
"I will do that bhuti," Miyalo chuckles lightly.
"Thula wena, okay goodbye Koti,"he says
and hangs up.
"You heard that boy? Try disrespecting me
I'll moer you," I say and chuckle lightly
before looking out the window.
"Your eyes, they are big and beautiful," it's
funny how I'm getting compliments for my
big eyes now that I'm old; I was bullied as a
child for having eye as big as ‘marbles.’
"They twinkle when you smile, you are
beautiful Nelisile," he adds before I can
thank him. I feel like this compliment is
sincere.

"Thank you Miyalo," and then I go back to

my ‘sad girl’ era.
_
_
_
"This was my brother's first property," he
smiles proudly. We are in Protea Glen. This
side is quiet and seems like people that live
here are quite monied.
"Really? It's beautiful," it is.
"I know, thank you." he takes my hands into
his soft hands and leads me inside. It's too
manly, there's no much of furniture, a lot of
work is needed.
"This was my bedroom," it's the main one.
Okay now I'm confused.
"Yindlu yomuntu was'Lisa," (it's a house of

a man," he laughs and sits down) I say

before sitting down. He laughs, if his eyes
weren't in pain I'd say that he was happy,
but he is not.
He sighs before sitting down next to me, I
just rest my head and close my eyes.
.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 7

MIYALO NTSHANGASE

A lost cause.
There's a lot his heart is yearning for, like
the love that his mother has always given

his brother, he knows that parents have

favorites, but their parents over did it. Not
once, did his mother ever embrace him; he
always came with above 90 percent for all
his tests but he's never even heard a ‘I'm
proud of you’ from his mother, not even a
handshake.
He never experienced his mother's love,

she never tried to love him, that was always

a problem for him. He'd look at her when he
was growing up, he'd watch her play with
his brother, he tried conversing with her, but
he failed.
His father tried by all means to cover it up;
the problem was, you can't replace a
mother, neither can you replace a father.
Both parents have their roles in their
children's lives. Yearning for something
that is present I'd really hard.
Till today, his mother never really holds eye
contact with him; he feels the detachment,
sometimes he sees the pain in her eyes
when she looks at him, he wants to ask, but
where will he start when he can't even call
his mother mom?

Does he love his mother though? Yes, very

much.

Nelisile!
She's resting her head on the couch, She's
been in this position for so long.
Her eyes are closed; how he wishes to put
her head on hos shoulder, he's just too
scared. He's assuming that she's asleep,

and he doesn't want to wake her up she

just looks peaceful.
When he first saw her, his ears yearned to
hear her voice, and when he did, his hands
itched to touch her, now his lips yearn to
capture hers.
She's dark, slim, and fits perfectly in his
arms, she's short. His favorite part of her is
her eyes, maybe her bow legs too, in his
eyes she's just perfect. They say everyone

is imperfect, so if it's like that, she is is his

perfect Imperfection.

"What are you doing?" She asks when he

hovers over her, he just wants to stare
without being disturbed, is that too much
to ask for? Maybe it is.
"I just wanted to look at you, I thought you
were asleep, you just ruined it." He enjoys

watching her in different scenarios, except

when she's crying, he just hates it.
"Hawu," she laughs, "I don't know if I'll be
needed for the money claim or not," she left
everything on the bed, they will sort
themselves out; she doesn't want anything
that will bind her to them, she wants to
move on and have no toxicity that will
follow behind her.
"You know, you don't need that money

when I got you right," money has never

been an issue to him, an issue to him is his
brother sweating for him to get everything
he wants in his age!
They are 6 years apart, it's only normal,
right?, to have two kids that are 6 years
apart.

There's a brother and then there's

Hlanganani. Hlanganani has no child nor a
wife because all he's ever focused on was
working hard so that Miyalo gets to school
and takes their name high, but he couldn't,
that's why he has sleepless nights all the
damn time.
"I can't depend on someone to do things for
me," her tone is cold, they will discuss it
some other time, for now he will just stroke
her shoulder.
‘I'm not Bongani," he screams in his head,
but he doesn't utter any word.
_
_
_
Morning has come, the sun is shining and
the birds a chirping. His heart is still as

heavy as it was yesterday and two years

back.
He's already outside in his warm clothes.
It's a disgrace, he's a disgrace! No man is
ever a man if they work up and do Loxion
Management, being unemployed, it's
degrading and embarrassing.

"I'm ready to go," Nelly is going for her job

interview, it's to keep formalities but the job
is already hers. He turns and looks at her,
where is coming from?
"You look beautiful," He says, she smiles
and looks down at herself, and smiles.
She's in a black skirt, a crispy white shirt
and a blazer, she looks formal and
beautiful.
"Thank you, when are we leaving? I don't

want to be late," she says, he laughs.

"Hlanganani took my car from me, we are
waiting for Zein," he looks away when he
says this. Nelisile always has a question,
she's opinionated. She doesn't ask any
questions though.
_

_
_
NELISILE MAGWAZA

"Hlanganani took my car from me, we are

waiting for Zein," he says and looks away, u
don't say anything, he's realized that I can
read his eyes that is why he is looking
away. I hate his personality, he's dismissive
a lot.
He's a good actor, I don't understand why

one could be so broken but still manage to

put on his best smile. If his eyes are not
teary then they are sad.
They remind me of Bongani's, the
difference is, even though Bongani looked
the way he did, manly and masculine, he
carried his emotions with pride; he spoke
about his pain; Miyalo on the other hand, is

just uninterested.

Zein arrives, he opens the door for me, for

the first time, he needs to be applauded, I
smile before thanking him. I greet Zein who
greets back with a deep Afrikaans accent.
Miyalo gets to his side at the back, they fist
bump before greeting each other.
"You are not lively, you don't seem like
someone who is happy to be happy," when I
say this, my mind runs back to the question
his brother asked, the ‘do you want to die’
question.
"I'm happy I know you," I sigh, he is not
answering me, this is his style I see.
"I'm serious Miyalo, whatever it is that you
are facing, you need to speak to someone
about it, before it gets heavy and

overpowers you; depression is real," I say

and look outside the window, the only
reason I'm comfortable in saying these
things in the presence of Zein is that his
white, or is he colored?
"I'm not depressed," he's dismissing me,
again. I'm not backing down this time.

"You might not be, kodwa your eyes tell a

story Miyalo," I say and look at Zein,
"Brother, Please give us space, please," He
looks at Miyalo through the rearview mirror,
he nods at him; Zein pulls up on the side of
the road. I could roll my eyes, such
disrespect, but we are having a serious talk
for me to focus on that, I turn to Miyalo.
"What's eating you up Miyalo?" He doesn't
say anything. "You are helping me, can you
allow me to do the same for you?"

"I don't need help," He says.

"I also don't need help, take me back," I say
and raise my brow, he is not budging.
"Zein bhuti wami, awungiyise eSlovo," (Zein,
my brother, take me back to Slovo.) I can
be as dramatic as he is. I'm tired you know,

it's clear that he wants this thing of his to

kill him.
"Zein, stay where you are," he says and
looks at me, his eyes are teary, my heart
sinks, "I'm beyond repair, I'm broken
Nelisile. Ngiyislwane," (I'm an animal) he
says. I didn't expect this, honestly.
"What do you mean," he shrugs his
shoulders.
"There's no human like me, is there still a
man that depends on their brother at this
age? Sometimes I feel like a burden, you
know, I want to be with you..." His voice
breaks and he shakes his head, "I don't
want to talk about this." My heart is
breaking for him.
"Look," I make him look at me, tears don't

fall but they are too much, it puzzles me

how he is stopping them from falling. "You
can tell me anything, I'll go for this
interview and then we'll talk," they said
something about being a clerk when they
spoke about this job, I'll hear when we get
there, I'll basically interview them about job
they are offering me, they will end up hiring
me as an interviewer I tell you.
He nods his head and clears his throat
before calling Zein back to the car.
.
.
.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 8

NELISILE MAGWAZA

"Good morning, Ms. Magwaza," Oh the lady

is already rude. Maybe it's because she
knows that I got connections to be here.
I'm not a proficient English speaker, but I
do know how to speak English; I don't know
why she has to change her accent when
speaking to me, I'm not an English

inspector I'm an interviewee.

"Hello ms..." I give her questioning eyes
although she has a tag on the left side of
her chest.
"Ms. Zungu," she's annoyed. She has the
guts they made me wait! I'm not a waiter.
"Okay, tell me about yourself," oh the doctor
himself is her, Mr. Sthelo Bhembe!
"Good morning," No smile, he sits down. I
sit up instantly, just like Miyalo told me to
when we were practicing. I nod my head
and take a brief sip of the water that was
put on the table.
"Can we begin?" Ms. Rudey Rouche asks, I
could roll my eyes, but I don't want to be
fired before, I nod my head and say.
"Yes sir," I must be sounding like a soldier

being called to action by their captain, the

only thing short is a salute.
"I'm Dr. Sthelo Bhembe, this is Dr.
Thembekile Zungu," I thought Rudey is a
manager, wait does clinics have managers?
And why are Drs doing interviews?
"Nelisile Page Magwaza," I say. I don't know
if it's appropriate for Dr. Sthelo to chuckle
when hearing my name.
"I'm sorry sir, but what is funny?" I might as
well kiss this job goodbye.
"Is your name Page?"
"I believe that this is a job interview, it was
a name interview I should have been
informed," I say with a straight face, this
name of mine is a name that many people
don't understand, and I don't really mind,
but I take it as an offense if they laugh. A

new slate, a new page of my father's life is

what I am or was, and I embrace it every
day.
"I didn't mean no harm Ms. Magwaza, I just
find your name interesting, it's rare," he
says, okay that's kind of a compliment, I

calm down.
"You two look alike yaz, even your spirit of
fighting," Never!
"Can we begin sir? Please tell me more
about the job and the company," I did say
that I was gonna be the interviewer.
_
_
_
The interview went well actually, the clerk
job is not really as hard as I thought, I'll

basically be answering phone calls,

passing on messages, and handling
emails.
I know I'll get the job, only if Mr. Sthelo is
not angry at me.
"Well done, I know you nailed it," I stare into
his eyes, there's no improvement.

"Thank you, Dr. Bhembe and I fought

actually," I say.
"He's my cousin, my mother's nephew," he
says! Get out!
"Really? Your skins look alike," they are both
dark, I should have known that they are
relatives.
"We do, you know; I look more like my
mother's side of my family; you wouldn't
say that Hlanganani is my brother, more
than looks we are bound by love and blood"
he chuckles, "He looks a lot like my father,
they never got along though, he's
rebellious," for the first time I see his eyes
sparking. "I miss him," he smiles and
shakes his head.
"I miss my father too," it's been years since

I went to his grave, I miss him, but I was

chased away from home, they probably
don't consider me as a family anymore.
"I'm sorry, can I hug you?" he asks, I nod.
He embraces me and kisses my forehead.
"Change, I'm taking you out, change into
warm clothes," he says.
_
_
_
"I said you should change into warm
clothes," He says.
"I'm warm," I'm in jeans and a polo neck,
there's no warm that is warmer than this.
"Okay, if you say so." He shrugs.

"Zein Bafo, awehle, ngizoshayela mina."

(climb off, I'll drive.) he says, I panic.
Hlanganani said he should never drive!
_
_
_
THEMBEKILE ZUNGU
They say she's rude, arrogant, and hard to
mingle with, but it's lies. She's just gained a
thick skin and learned to not be nice to
everyone.
She likes Nelisile, and she was nicer to her
than she is to many people. She can't say
the feeling is mutual, the way she stood for

herself today was something that

impressed her.
That's why she took her phone numbers.
She's planning on calling her tomorrow.

She gets home after a long day, and strips

naked, she stays in her undergarments
sipping on wine. She wants to take a bath,
a warm long bath maybe have good sex
after that.

Her mother, a single mother of 2, is

unemployed, so she vowed to sweat for her
siblings and herself, it makes it hard for her
to be in a feelings-attaching relationship,
she fucks and runs if a man asks for love.

***I need a fuck*** she sends a text to

Siyethemba, the only man that is easy to
use, he's married so he too has his own
reasons for not wanting a feelings-
attached relationship.

She gets into the bath, closes her eyes, and

relaxes herself in the bath, God whoever
said, after a long day, to get into hot water
should be blessed abundantly because
wow they are clever.

Her phone rings, it's her mother, she sighs

before answering. "My beautiful child, your
niece is sick, please send us R500," she
doesn't have money, she gave them half of
her salary, and paid bills with the
remaining, the only money left is to push
her until Month End.
"Okay ma, I'll send the money," tears are
already forming in her eyes, she's sure
gonna sink into depression because if her
mother.
"Okay thank you my baby, I love you," no
she doesn't, if she did she wouldn't be
making her work for her 32-year-old
drunkard sister, it's unfair.

.
.
.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 9

MABHEMBE

My heart fails to accept it, Miyalo is not

mine, although I carried in my womb.
Miyalo has all my features, his are just
masculine. He looks handsome, his brother
is a man! He looks exactly like my husband,
they aren’t really handsome, their actions
are. But Miyalo chose to look like me, that’s
why he is a charmer. The only things he
took from his father are his skin tone and
the dimple that is underneath his right eye,
they all have it, the Ntshangase’s.
I love both of them, Miyalo and Hlanganani.
They are both different but they were both
made by the same people they were fed by
the same breast, even though I only
breastfed Miyalo for 2 days; my milk made
him sick.
I just fail to look at him because I don’t
want him to not consider me his mother,
maybe the first question he’ll ask is why
him! I feel sorry for myself more than I do
for him, I can’t see him as any other thing
than a 2 day epileptic child, I can’t move on
from that, I don’t think I ever will.

Hlanganani was 2 years old when Mgazi

found out that I had to bear a child for
another man, I couldn’t understand how the
child was another man's if the sperm was
my husband’s. It was really confusing and
frustrating. I felt that the ‘late Miyalo’ was
just selfish. It was no one’s problem that he
died, if he didn’t the Ntshangase’s would
have given him what was his, I still feel like
that although they told me that Mgazi
should have looked for Miyalo’s family and
handed the money over to him. It just didn’t
make sense.

It took us 4 years to get pregnant, Mgazi,

the grandfather, was still sick, not as much
because we were trying, it’s not like we
didn’t adhere to the instructions. I had 4
miscarriages, it drained the shit out of me.
The reason for the miscarriages was that I
was carrying girls.
When we found out that I was finally
pregnant again, we weren’t happy it was
rather depressing. I thought I would lose
the child again, when I finally gave birth, I
cried, the baby didn’t. I thought he was
dead which child never cries after they are
born? They showed me his sex, I took him
to my arms, and felt his hairy skin and
head, it explained all the heartburns I had. I
smiled, and kissed his forehead. He was
my baby. And then I remembered that he
wasn’t my husband’s! Sadness kicked in.
Miyalo, who was named 4 years before his
arrival, was not my husband’s. Little did I
know that he wasn’t mine either!
He was a pre mature. He was born after 6
months after being conceived, it wasn’t
believable because he was fully developed.
He was put in an incubator for one day and
I took him home the next day, he was
strong enough.

I breastfed him for two days before he was

attacked by fits, I cried, I thought he was
dying. It turned out it happened because of
my milk, that’s what Mgazi said the
Sangoma said to him, my hear bled, it’s still
bleeding. That’s where I realized that I
carried a baby that wasn’t mine for six
months.

Mgazi had already built an alter for him

outside, he introduced him to the ancestors
of Miyalo and all the epileptic Miyalo
flushed out the window.
I still loved Miyalo, I still do.

On a random morning, Mgazi called me, he

was sitting under the tree to get shade, he
was sharpening his spear on a brick.
I took a mat and sat next to him.
“Makoti, the child you just put into bed is
not yours,” he said without looking at me.
“I know baba,” accepting it was hard, but I
had to live with it.
“So why are you treating him as your own?
Did I not tell you to not touch him?” I didn’t

understand.
“You did, but I can’t put him down baba, he
cries a lot, it hurts. I carried him baba,” my
eyes were glossy, but I refused to let the
tears flow.
“Leave the child alone, I’ll feed him; you are
getting too attached,” I couldn’t hold it in
anymore, I let them flow. I went back to the
house, that night I thought of running away
with him, but I had no plan, what would I
have fed him?
_
_
Mgazi died when Miyalo turned a year old.
There was no need to call upon any
ancestors that time because everything
was done accordingly. Miyalo was a smart
child, but I couldn’t even hug my child, I
couldn’t kiss his forehead, I couldn’t help
him with his homeworks, I was told not to, I
think they were all hard on me, they all
expected me not to have a relationship
with him, but Zethembe had a bond with
Miyalo, it was unfair; but a woman never
speaks out, does she?

This hurt me to a point where I wanted to

have another child soon after I was told not
to hold him, we tried but failed!
When the doctors told me that my womb
was not fit to carry another child, I wanted
to scream my lungs out, it was painful, it
still is. Miyalo is all grown but I wish to take
him back to a 1 day old and nurture him
like a mother should.

29 years later, he is all grown; he achieved

a lot with the help of his brother, she’s
proud.
It hurt me that he couldn’t carry his career
on. He is not epileptic, it’s idlozi, but I can’t
find the strength to tell him, it’s hard. How
and when do I start to break all this

nonsense to him, he’ll hate me.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 10
NELISILE MAGWAZA

They called!
I’m glad they called, but they called
Saturday, I know that I got the job through
connections but they didn’t have to make it
obvious by calling on a Saturday night.
Miyalo made sure that I’m prepared, be
taught me a few things about using a
laptop, I’m not sure if I got it, but I don’t
think I’ll use a laptop nor a computer that
much at work, I’ll be a call attender, I can’t
wait for my first call. ‘Ms Magwaza from
Ukuphila clinic how may I help you’ God, I
thank you. Miyalo says that he is going to
see his mother this coming weekend, I’m
not sure if I’ll cope alone, at least when he’s
here he makes me forget. Everything
comes back at night of when I’m alone,
Bongani, the drug dealer. I miss him so

much, I stay awake at night and think about

him.

Today is Monday, and aren’t I excited?

Throughout the weekend, I wanted to fast
forward to Monday. Now that it’s here I’m
happy and nervous.
It’s already 5am, I’m dressed and ready to
rock. I’m just hoping no one will ruin my
day, especially that Thembekile, I just don’t
feel her. You know when they say
someone’s blood and someone else’s don’t
click, they mean mine and Thembekile's.
I’ve made breakfast, I’m eating. I’m very
choosy when it comes to food so I cooked
uphuthu and I mixed it with Maas that’s
stored in the fridge. That’s literally the only
thing that’s in his fridge. I think he loves
dairy.
“Good morning employed and independent
woman,” the husky has me jumping and
pointing the spoon that was in my hand to
his direction, come near I’ll stab you kind of
pointing. I sigh in relief when I see that it’s
him. I put my weapon– spoon– on the
table.
“Miyalo,” I warn.
“I would like to make you scream my
name,” he mumbles.
“You said what?” I heard him well, I just
want him to repeat it so I can spank him, he
shouldn’t forget that I got permission to
moer him from his older brother.
“Nothing, come let’s go,” I give him an eye,
he doesn’t pay attention to my side eye, he
walks out of the house, I quickly was my
the dishes I was using.

_
_
Zein is already here, we take our seats in
the backseat, and the vehicle starts
moving. I’m nervous, fucking God I don’t
think in ready My fingers are trembling, I’m
looking outside the window.

The silence I’m the car is too loud for me.

There’s no music playing, I personally
asked Zein to switch it off, he was playing
Eminem, imagine. Eminem doesn’t calm
you down, he just makes things worse; it’s
like when his speed increase your nerves
escalate, because you are trying to figure
out what he is saying and how you relate, it
just cracks one’s brain, hhay.

“You got this, right? Go rock them,” I’m

thankful to God, I’ve known Miyalo for a
short time, but in that time he’s done a lot
for me; I’m assured that he has my back all
the time. He’s a safe place to mem
“Thank you, enjoy your day” I say and get
off the car. The guards are already here. I
greet and make my way inside.
This is a private clinic, people make
appointments before coming here. There
are no queues outside, there is no first
come first serve, everything is done in
order, that’s what I like about it.
“Hey mntanami,” (my child) it’s an elderly
woman, she’s a cleaner here, “You are
beautiful, are you new here?” Compliments
from old people are always the best, even if
they are not accurate, they are just
heartwarming.
“Thank you, yebo ma, I am.” I avert my
attention from the laptop that’s infront of
me.
“You look so much like Thembekile,” I give
her a lazy smile.
“Oh, hhay asizalelani ma,” (we are not
related)

“Ngampela?” (seriously?) I might be one of

the biggest Mam'gobhozi, but this one her;
clap once!
_
_
Wait, I said I would be a call attender right?

It turns out that I really am, but I’ve got two

phone calls so far, I guess there aren’t
many callers here, what I do is to get every
clinical record is correct. It’s a lot of work,
but not so much today because
Thembekile is guiding me, I still don’t really
like her, but she’s tolerable.
“It’s lunch break now, come let’s eat,” when
she offered to guide me, I asked about her
not having patients today; she laughed, I
assume because I should know, and said
she’s clear today.
“Okay, let me finalize these,” I’m stapling
together Mr Bhembe's files. I didn’t see him
today, his PA came up to me and gave me
this task.
“This is not part of your work, the fact that
they are fucking doesn’t mean that they
should overwork you!” That’s it, whatever
bad thing I said about Sis' Thah I take it
back with immediate effect, I’ll even wash
my mouth with bleach! She’s a gossiper like
me, but I see anger in her eyes.
“You can’t say things like that in public sis,”
what I mean is, sing like a bird sisi. “I’m
done let’s go to a private place,” she leads
the way.
“So what do you mean they are… you

know?” I’m rushing behind her, she can’t

say something this big and leave me
hanging.
“I mean just that,” she needs to get into
details, but I’ll let her be for now, I haven’t
forgotten about this.

I out my lunchbox that was made by

Miyalo. We are sitting in the canteen.
“What the hell?!” I exclaim, Miyalo’s head
needs to be to be tested really. Why the hell
didn’t he hand me the money instead of
putting it in a lunchtin. Thembekile cracks
up, Jesus Christ!

.
.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 11

NELISILE MAGWAZA

It’s Wednesday, we were dismissed early

today, they said something about attending
meetings, I should be the first to know
about that, but I think it has to do with the
heads of the hospital because Dr Bhembe
seemed out if it today.
It's a pity that I couldn’t spend my day with

my new found best friend– Thembekile.

She’s also a part of that meeting, her and
Bhembe are a good team, and I’ve
concluded that Thembekile has feelings for
Dr Bhembe.
Apparently, the Doctor is not fucking his PA
or anyone here, he just has a close
relationship with his PA, and I think
Thembekile is jealous. Ey I know so much
in a short space of time, I just know how to
fish them. I spoke to nurse Suzanne, nope
she’s not white, she’s coloured, she is also
crushing on the doctor.

I just got home to an empty house, Miyalo

is not here. I sigh and change into a black
dress, I wrap a doek on my head and walk
to Regina Mondi, it’s a church next to where
we find taxis. I’m going to Evalon cemetery,
I haven’t visited Bongani, I think I have the
guts to do so now. I don’t have any flowers
with me, I wouldn’t waste my money on
that, it’s not like he will be able to get them
personally, what will happen is: Pharas that

are opportunists will take the flowers and

sell them off to someone who cares to buy
flowers from them. Imagine!

The ride to Evalon was shorter than I had

anticipated, I get of the taxi, and walk my
long walk to the grave. His grave has no
tombstone, that cross sign with his name
is what confirmed that this is his grave.
I sigh and kneel, “I still love you, I’m still
thankful and I still care,” I planned to speak
my mind, but it’s hard, my hear is sinking. “I
miss you, every time I close my eyes I see
you and your haunted eyes;” I don’t think I’d
be alive and kicking if it wasn’t for him,
maybe some pharas would have found me
and made me their sperm dish, it’s what
happens here outside. “But I’m angry too, I
feel you need to know that; you should
have told me that you sold drugs, I wouldn’t
have judged you, okay maybe a little” I
chuckle and look up, all memories flooding
my mind, “I promise I’ll put a tomb here,
even if it’s not that costly, but I’ll do it,” I
breathe in. I get up and when I turn, I freeze,
Miyalo!
“Hey,” he smiles and blinks in
embarrassment, I don’t know why he is
embarrassed. His eyes are sad and
haunted.
Sigh!

HLANGANANI NTSHANGASE

They may not have the same looks, nor the

same personality, but they are of the same
semen, they were both stored in the

epididymis of the same man.

His extended family may have dragged his
little brother in-between their father’s and
their squabbles and quarrels. They would
say that Miyalo is not a Ntshangase, it’s all
bullshit because even with his mother’s
features, Miyalo has all their qualities, he
has a skin like theirs; and he believes that

his mother would never cheat. But if they

were to increase the chances of Miyalo not
being a Ntshangase, he wouldn’t love him
any lesser.

Hlanganani is 35 and single, he doesn’t

need more stress on top of all this stress
that he has. He promised his father that
he’d take care of his brother and his mother
but he is already failing, his father must be
looking down on him– shaking his head in

disappointment.
To him, women are stress; all they worry
about are clothes, accessories and
Brazilian wigs, or whatever that is; he has
too much to deal with and does not have
time for that shit, but he doesn’t tell his
brother that, he wouldn’t!
“Yewena S’hlama!” he calls out to one of
his troublesome taxi drivers, Senzo.
“Ngamla,” this boy should stop with his
weed, it’s now affecting the way he speaks,
it already finished with his brain.
“You see, my boy, the money that you stole
from me; I’ll deduct it from your pay,” he
always threatens Senzo but he doesn’t
really take the money because after all
Senzo is a close friend to them, he is also a
family man.
“It was only R20, you can take it,”
Hlanganani chuckles.
“Sengiyabona ungjwayela kabi, how’s your
sister?” Senzo eyes him.
“She’s happily married Mgazi, how is your
brother?” Hlanganani sighs and leans back

on his chair.
“Aiii it’s bad bafo, his epilepsy of his is not
planning to leave,” it’s draining him, his
brother wants to be independent and it
hurts that he can’t give him that, they say
epilepsy is a disorder, he doesn’t
understand, really because Miyalo is a

person of order.
“What’s that?” Senzo sits down. Miyalo and
Senzo are almost the same age, but Senzo
is always with Hlanganani because they
think alike.
“They say it’s a brain disorder,” he shrugs,
Senzo cracks up, but his laugh is like a
song put on slow motion, it’s this weed of
his! It’s fascinating how he speaks and
laughs slowly but when driving and singing
along to Maskandi, he is fast as a Bugatti
driven on Maximum speed.
“I’ve been saying, Miyalo is not okay, he is a
challenged person; who in the world would
leave the privilege of driving a taxi,
something you can control 98 percent of
the time and, and going for an airplane?”
this takes almost 3 minutes for him to say,
Hlanganani would have laughed if this was
said faster.
“Ungazonya wena slima!” (you are talking
shit, you moron) he says.
“I think you need to see a spiritual person,
something doesn’t add up about this,”
Senzo says, now serious.
“Eyyy I don’t know Bafo, these people say
these things are evil spirits,” they both sigh.
In the bhundus if anyone is attacked by

seizures they say it’s demonic attacks.

“But I think that’s where you will find the
core of this problem Bafo,” Senzo say.
“Thank you, I’ll do so Bafo,” Hlanganani
says and sighs.
“Aiii let me go and check on my sister who
is a chef, and is happily married with 6

kids,” Senzo lies getting on his feet, his

sister a depressed mother of two, she’s not
married and she’s always yapping, although
she is a chef she’s an unemployment, she’s
upgraded from being unemployed to being
unemployment itself.

.
.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 12

THEMBEKILE ZUNGU

“What would you like to drink?” She doesn’t

really want to offer him a drink, she just
wants to fuck and rest. Today was a long
day. Sthelo wasn’t in a good mood, maybe
his PA denied him sex, so he was a pain in
the ass to almost everyone in the hospital.
Or maybe it was just him being a 'typical
boss'.
“You,” that’s the correct answer from
Siyethemba. Her vagina is smiling while her
face is hard as a metal rock if it exists.
Portraying emotions on her face is one of
the things she decided to throw out the
window, it makes one seem weak, people
take advantage of weak people.
“Come here,” he says already unbuckling
his belt. She walks to him and wraps her
hands around his neck and lays a wet kiss
on lips. She’s in a silky short. He grabs her
butt and smooches her. She rips off his
shirt. He chuckles lowly, she’s hungry for
him, his ego is fed. He gets her off her

shorts, she’s not wearing any panties. They

both get fully naked. He pulls her closer,
and kisses her deeply. His joystick is
poking her. He grabs her butt again, she
wraps her legs around his waist. He walks
to the bed and lays her down.
“Khona okewangena la?” (has anyone else

been inside?) He taps on her vagina, he

smirks– it’s still intact– and kisses her
forehead. Briefly, he lays a peck on her
breasts,. He puts on a condom, he slowly
enters her. It’s good that she’s keeping
herself fucked by only him, he never gets
enough of her or his wife.
“Uhh, fuck!” she exclaims. She purses her
lips into a thin line when he starts to move.
She swallows her moans.
“Fuck,” he cusses, a vein is now visible on
his forehead. He thrusts faster, and faster;
he is near and she’s still not! He tells her to
bed over. She does. He enters her from
behind. He slowly thrusts in her, he lays
kisses on her back.
“Faster,” she begs. He thrusts harder and
faster. She screams before she freezes and
releases her orgasm.
“Fuckkkk, I love you!!!” He groans, she’s
also on cloud 9. But he hears what he is
saying; he’s got to be high on his cum, so
she lets it slide. He collapses on the side.
_
_
He is playing with her hands, he always
does this after every session of theirs.
“You would look great as Mrs Zikalala,” this
caramel skinned man says.
“Yeah, right;” she laughs thinking it’s one of
his many jokes.
“I’m serious Thembi, I really love you!” she
looks at him, he’s serious.
“Aii no, don’t be like that, go to your wife,”
she says and gets of bed, she needs to

take a shower.
“I want you,” He says.
“Take a shower in the bathroom, I’ll use this
one in my room and make sure you are out
of my house before I’m done bathing, I told
you not to catch feelings.”

“So what should I do now that I’ve fallen in

love with with?”
“Get up bhuti, you should stop calling;
delete my numbers I’ll do so too.” This is
why you shouldn’t sleep with your friends;
he was her varsity best friend before they
started fucking, now that this is ending,
their friendship also is ending. “Make sure
to take your shirts in the wardrobe,” she
doesn’t want any complications.
She gets to the bathroom, and takes a
minute to mourn the great sex they had,
she’s never having this again. It’s better to
stop when there’s still time.
_
_
_

NELISILE MAGWAZA

“What are you doing here Miyalo?” He

blinks again but doesn’t answer. “Miyalo,
you shouldn’t be here,” I say, I’m trying to
pull myself together, but I’m pissed.
“Can we talk about this when we get to the
car?” I storm my way to the car, I don’t let
him open the door for me. Oh Zein is here, I
greet and look out the window.
Miyalo takes time getting inside. When he
blesses us with his presence, Zein puts life
to the Engine.

Since I’ve learned that Zein actually

understands and knows how to speak
isiZulu I’ve been avoiding discussing things
with Miyalo in public. Lest they use it
against him one day. Y

He should stop being creepy, it’s not sexy,

at all.
I don’t know how the hell he found out that
I was at the cemetery. I hope he is not
having me followed. Even if he was, he
shouldn’t have came there, he shouldn’t
have followed me. This is really personally
and sacred, I feel like he know about
boundaries.
Zein is driving so damn slow. I’m looking
out the window, I’m a person that speaks
her mind and get over things, so looking
out the window helps keep me calm, I want
to talk to him in a private place. I throw a
glance at him, I find him staring at me, his
gaze is soft, he looks almost… sorry? But
also I think he is scared, I wonder what that
is about.

Finally, we are arriving, it was taking

forever. I get off the car as soon as Zein
kills the engine. He is walking besides me, I
take a seat on the couch once I’ve gotten
inside the house. He stands by the door
after closing it– he is leaning on it. I look at
him, trying to examine him, his sad eyes
won’t stop me from fighting him.
“Miyalo,” I say, I see his chest moving up.
“Nelisile,” I look at him again, with that look
that I can’t really comprehend on his face,
it’s gonna be hard to confront him.
“I need you to be honest when answering
me, okay?” I say calmly, though I’m not. He
nods, thrice; he looks scared; I get on my
feet and walk towards him. He fiddles with
his hands; I don’t understand why he looks
this scared; I’m not scary or am I? “How did
you find out about my location?”
“I, I…” he drags in a breath, “I came to your
work place to give your lunch tin like you
asked and it was closed, I called Sthelo, he
said everyone was dismissed early. I tried

calling you but your phone rang

unanswered; I panicked,” Damnit, it was on
silent. “So I gave Zein your phone number
to track you,” I don’t know how he managed
to say these words, his voice is really
shaky. But he shouldn’t have followede to
the grave, that’s just plain disrespect, but
his voice and eyes are cornering me, I won’t
say that, I’ll address it when he is fully fine.
“Okay, are you okay?” No answer. I sigh and
go back to my seat, my feet are paining, I
get my shoes off my feet. “Myalo?” he is
still standing on the same position, not
blinking, not moving.
“Miyalo?” I’m starting to panic what the hell
is wrong with him. I get on my feet and
rush to him, before I can even get to him,
he falls. His body starts vigorously shaking.
“Miyalo,” I scream and kneel, I keep on
screaming his name. I get his shoes off his
feet. Tears make their way on my face.
“Miyalo, don’t die on me,” I hold his hand.
He stops shaking. I check his pulse,
nothing. “Zein!” why didn’t I initially think of
him. I slap Miyalo’s face few times, but all I
see his schlera, why are his eyes white all
the way. No no no! He can’t die!

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 13

***Bonus***

NELISILE MAGWAZA

I’ve given up on trying to call for help, Zein

is not outside, I assume that he’s left for
home. Miyalo is not moving, his eyes are
still rolled to the back, all I see in the is the
sclera. My face is a mess I’ve been crying
my eyes out. He looked so scared, I can’t

help but think that this is my fault. He

doesn’t have a pulse too, so I’m basically
sitting here with a corpse.
I’m thinking of running away, but that will
only cause people to think that I actually
killed him. Even if that wasn’t the case,
where would I have ran to? I have no home,
u don’t know whether my mom is alive or
not.
“Miyalo,” I try again. I didn’t mean for this to
happen, I was just asking, I didn’t think that
he was gonna have fits. I put my hand on
his neck, there’s nothing, he is gone. Miyalo
is gone. I take his hand in mine, his hand is
still warm, he can’t be dead if he is still
warm, right? I kiss the top of his hand, and
smile at him. God can’t be this selfish,
Miyalo needs to live for me.
Again, I deal with the same horror of having
to be the last person to see a dead loved
one; this is what I have to do, call the police
and then they will take me in for
questioning, they will keep me in for the
night until they get a ‘valid’ reason to
release me. “Miyalo,” this time I don’t wipe
the tears that are making their way down
my face, I let them flow, I lay a soft peck on
his lips, only his lips are cold, I cup his face,
and stare deeply into his sclera, I don’t
want to close his eyes, I can’t sum up the
courage to do so.
My phone is off, and there’s loadshedding–
bloody RamaGesi! Fuck the government,
everyone who steal cables, and those that
use electricity without paying a cent– I was
one of those too, so fuck me too! Nelisile

think, what do I do now? If he really is dead,

he can’t be here for too long. His family
needs to know, but first I need to call the
police.
I take his phone, luckily it doesn’t have a
password nor a pattern, I swipe and go to

his contact, Hlanganani! That’s his brother!

His number is the first number that’s in the
recents, the police will wait.
I ring his phone, it rings twice before his
deep voice says, “Bafo,” I freeze for a
moment, I don’t know what to say, his voice
is so damn scary. Okay there’s no time to
act sweet, I don’t even have time to make a
squeaky voice. I clear my throat.
“Bhuti, it’s Nelisile, Miyalo…” my voice fails,
damnit!
“Koti? What’s wrong?” how will I tell him if
he keeps on interjecting?
“He is not breathing,” fresh tears, they are
annoying me because I can’t wipe them.
“He is not breathing?” he repeats my
statement as a question, “Whst
happened?” I don’t know if I should tell him
that it all started when I was interrogating
him or not, I’m scared what if he blames
me? Guilt takes over, I did this I killed
Miyalo.
“I don’t know, he just had amafits,” I say, it
comes out as an almost whisper.
“How long has he been out? Something
must have triggered it,” so it’s something
that’s a norm? Now it makes sense why
Hlanganani has been saying that Miyalo
shouldn’t drive, it all makes sense. And yes
there’s something that triggered it, and that
Something is Nelisile Page Magwaza!
About the time, I’m not a time keeper, I
have a phone in my hand but I don’t know
what the time is now. I take a wild guess
though,
“I don’t know, it’s almost thirty minutes, he

has no pulse bhuti,” I start over with crying.

I don’t want Miyalo to die, I just found him.
A man that is broken, but you can’t tell
unless you look into his eye, I already miss
his sad smile, the dimple underneath his
eye. God, no!
“What? 30 minutes? Call an ambulance, I’m
on my way,” it’s only now that he is
alarmed? This man must be cruel, my sobs
didn’t move something in him.

I don’t even know which number is used to

dial that Ambulance line! Is it also 911?
Damnit this thing if living in ignorance
should come to an end. I wipe my tears
before going to Mr Google and asking
which line I should call if I need an

ambulance in South Africa.

_
_
_
Bhut’ Hlanganani us everything that I
imagined he was; dark and scary! He
doesn’t look really handsome but he is
clean, he looks nothing like Miyalo, their
skin is the only they have in common,
Miyalo did say that he doesn’t look like his
paternal family, he looks like Sithelo.
Apparently he had a faint pulse, I couldn’t
feel it because I am not a doctor. Bhut'
Hlanganani arrived before the ambulance
could arrived, we then took him to my
workplace, I don’t know why I didn’t think of
Thembekile, honestly! She’s not here

though, I think she’s somewhere

fantasizing about Sithelo, you will never
know!
Bhut’ Hlanganani has been pacing up and
down, making me dizzy but I don’t dare say
anything, his look vonly could send me to
hell, he won’t even need his gun.

“He hit his head hard against the floor I

think, that’s why he is out of it, there are no
internal injuries,” I sigh.
“Can I see him?” I ask, I need to.
“He is awake, but he is resting, please don’t
disturb him,” Dr Sthelo says.
“I won’t disturb him, I swear, I just want to
see him,” I lie, I will disturb him.
“Okay, 5 minutes, that’s all I’m giving you,”
uyanya!

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 14

***Bonus***

NELISILE MAGWAZA

His eyes are closed, and I noticed how long

his lashes are, such a charmer he is.
I quietly close the door, he snaps his eyes
open, I made sure to close it as quietly as I
could, well Dr Sthelo, I failed on my first try!
“Nelisile,” he whispers, “don’t leave,” I rush
to him, he is unaware of his surroundings,
he keeps on trying to disconnect the pipes
connected to him.
“Miyalo, I’m here, I won’t leave,” his head
snaps to my direction, I you touch his hand.
“You are here?” he smiles, this time it
reaches his eyes.

“Hey, you scared me, I thought you’d die;” I

say and take a seat, tears are always
uninvited but they find their way.
“I won’t die,” he says and smiles “Until I
make you mine,” if I don’t take a seat I’ll
surely have my own episode.
“I’m sorry for scaring you,” I say “Uyang’

saba?” (are you scared if me?) I ask, he

laughs lowly
“No, only losing you scares me,”, he smiles
sits up, he flinches. “Yohh, my head!” he
chuckles.
“Nelisile!” okay this must be serious, his
voice tells me he wants my full attention. “I
am epileptic,” he says.
“I figured,” I say, this is actually awkward, I
don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable enough
to address some things, what if next time
when I do, he dies, like really die?
“I don’t need you to pity me, I just need you
to be by my side,” he should add, and ‘be
traumatized’ I seriously don’t want to ever
go through what I went through today.
“I love you Nelisile,” trust African men to tell
you that they love you on their deathbed,
sigh. This needs to be said in a romantic
way, but either way I feel it, the I love you.
“We’ll talk when you get home,” home, I say!
Clap once.
“Qabula lapha ke,” (kiss me here,) he points
at his cheek; like a robot controlled, I also
move to kiss his cheek, but he snaps his
head and our lips touch, this moron!
“Wenzani?” (What are you doing?) I
exclaim, he just chuckles.
_
_
_
It’s ma and bhut’ Hlanganani against the
world, I actually convinced him to convince

Sthelo to free Miyalo today.

We are on our way to Glen, we are all sitting
in silence. My brain is racing with thoughts
of this ‘epilepsy’ of theirs, I can’t help but
think that there’s more to this, but again
what do I know?.
Bhut’ Hlanganani asks if we will be okay, I
tell him that will and he drives off.

“Your brother, uyathusa,” (he is scary,) I say,

he chuckles revealing his beauty spot– his
dimple.
“Awulambile Nelly?” (Are you not hungry?”)
he asks.
“I’ll cook today, you need to rest that big
head of yours” I say, he chuckles and
shakes his head.

I left him watching TV, he is watching guns

and all that nonsense; I thought I didn’t love

TV at all but since I found DSTV, God I

discovered Big brother and The Real
housewives, Gossip I’d galore there, you
don’t need swear that “ngeke uyithi vuu”
(you won’t tell anyone) to a friend that
swore to a friend that they won’t tell anyone
else. Here you pay for your package and
watch real life drama, drama if moneyed
people. I’m cooking up a storm, I’m joking,
there are no groceries here so I am making
uphuthu, and besides I can’t cook better
than uMiyalo, and I don’t understand why
he doesn’t buy groceries if he doesn’t cook.
“You said we’d talk when we get home,”
Miyalo should stop this thing of his.
“Awuyeke ukungi nyonyobela ndoda!” (stop
sneaking up on me) he smiles.
“Ngithe mina ngiyakuthanda nkosazana,” (I
said, I love you) this shouldn’t be making
my clit jump, God! He is too close, I feel his
breath hitting my forehead, he links his
forehead with mine.
“My pots!” I jump and check on my not
burning pot.

_
_
_
MABHEMBE

She received the news, it happened again.

Her first thought was; calling a family
meeting and informing them what the real
cause of these fits is, it’s not epilepsy.
When it first started, after her husband’s
death, Miyalo senior was angry because
they performed rituals for Miyalo as if the
man that had died was his father.
She knew that Miyalo wasn’t supposed to
participate, but because her self respect
was at stake she allowed the participation
of Miyalo in their cleansing ceremony. If
she didn’t allow it, her in-laws would think
it’s a confirmation of their theories– Miyalo
doesn’t belong to the Ntshangase’s. The
only thing that will save Miyalo is taking
him to the alter that was built for him doing
a ritual for him there.
She’s outside thinking and sipping on her
sugarless coffee, it’s a Saturday morning,
the birds are chirping; she spots a car that’s
pulling up outside the gate, Miyalo! Her
eyes light up and she almost smiles until
she remembers that this is a child that was
taken away from her.
She wears her cold mask, no smile; her
eyes have no interest. It masks the
sadness and her pain. Maybe not telling
Miyalo what needs to be done is punishing
the selfish Miyalo like he punished her by
not allowing her to bond with her son.

“Mother,” he greets. There’s a mom and

there’s a mother, this one here doesn’t
deserve being called mom.
“Yebo,” she keeps her response brief. She
doesn’t want to get carried away.
“How are you?” he’s never asked this, she
clears her throat.

“Kuyaphileka, ubekwa yini la?” (I’m good,

why are you here?) She asks, Miyalo raises
his brow.
“akukhona ekhaya yini la?” (isn’t this my
home?) Miyalo chuckles bitterly and
shakes his head before he makes his way
inside, this is bullshit, he needs to know
why she is treating him like he isn’t her
child, if they didn’t share the same features
he’d think that he is not hers. But he won’t
address this now, he still needs to recover
from the fall he had. His mother didn’t even
ask how he was, she didn’t even bother to
examine his head that is bandaged.

He gets to his bedroom and places his bag

on the bed before lying next to it. He gets
his phone out of his pocket and dials
Nelisile, that hard-to-get player! He didn’t

want to leave her alone so he left her with

Thembekile; it puzzles him how
Thembekile and Nelisile look so much
alike,
“Miyalo,” she says and giggles, hawu what’s
funny?
“Nelisile yin'ndaba ukikitheka ngingeka
khulumi?” (why are you giggling?)
“I’m sorry, hey” she burps, Jesus!

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 15

***Bonus***

NELISILE MAGWAZA

Sir Trill ft Nkosazana Daughter is playing,

but softly because this is not in the
townships, you make noise they call police
on you! At Slovo, you play whatever music
you want at anytime and whoever

complains you call the police on them.

I don’t like this song, the other one is
hushing a crying baby, and the other one is
asking us about being scared in the
suburbs, it just doesn’t blend well.
Thembekile is living off from alcohol,
apparently she has too much stress to be
sober, she’s a doctor, she should know
about the dangers of drinking all the time.
“Can I have a glass?” No, I too have stress.
This will be my second and last time if
drinking alcohol.
“Do you want me to get fired?” I roll my
eyes.
“They won’t know nje,” she sighs and
carefully pours the wine into a glass for
me. She’s sober as they come, probably
sober than I am, mind you I haven’t drunk
anything. She hands me the glass, this girl
is a true drunkard, she drinks but does not
get drunk.

I’m on my second glass and already feel

light, and the girl next to me? Nope nothing,
she’s not drink at all. She keeps on zoning
off.
“Are you okay?” I ask, she nods.
“I’m okay,” she says and sighs.
“I think you need a Sthelo in your life,” I
cross my legs and take a small sip, I’ve
been gulping it this whole–, it doesn’t taste
nice. I’m short of a weave so that I can
keep tucking falling hair behind my ear–, if
my hair was doing me any justice, but I
have no hairline, it grows and stops and
then I cut it, that has been my routine for
the past few years, I’ve given up on trying

to grow my hair.
“Nope, I don’t,” now I’m convinced that her
liking Sthelo is all in my head. When his
name is mentioned her facial expressions
change, I think she hates him.
“What’s your story with Sthelo, you don’t

seem to like him,” I ask.

“l just dislike him, he dislikes me too,”
mutual dislike? Aiii.

I’ve lost count of the drinks I’ve had. I feel,

light too light. My phone rings, it’s Miyalo.
“Miyalo,” I say and giggles.
“Nelisile, yin:ndaba ukikitheka ngingeka
khulumi?” (why are you giggling?) God, he
shouldn’t know that I was drinking.
“I’m sorry, hey,” and then I burp, Jesus. If

looks could kill I’d be dead, murdered by

Thembekile’s eyes.
“Are you drinking?* Is he now a prophet?
“No, I’m not, I miss you,” I do, but the
purpose of saying this right now is getting
him off the drinking topic, I get a thumbs
up from Thembekile, I grin– I’m proud of
myself.
“I miss you too, and you’ve been avoiding
me, I still need to hear you say you love me,
because you are already mine,” I didn’t
know that I was his, but I blush.
“I am yours,” I say and quickly regret so I
say, “who said I was yours?”Hd chuckles,
he’s probably shaking his head, that dimple
visible beneath his sad eyes.
“My first wrong move was giving you a
choice, you don’t have a choice because
you are stuck with me,” he says, I blush. “I
want to sleep, I’m tired, ngiyak’ thanda
yezwa yin,” (I love you, alright?)
“Okay,” I say, my cheeks are probably
purple, if I were yellow they would be pink.
“Thana you uyang' thanda phela,” (say you
love me) I smile before faking 'no signal), I

wave my phone to the air.

“Hello? Hello? I can’t hear you,” I hand up
and smile, u think all the alcohol has flown
out of my pores!
“You are hypnotized!” I don’t care what she
says.
_
_
NARRATED

MaBhembe cooked and called his son to

eat, this is the first meal cooked by his
mother Miyalo is eating. He was skeptical
about eating until she took food from his
plate and ate. Miyalo's face flushed in
embarrassment soon after that. But she
understands, theirs is not a normal mother
and son relationship, they love each other

but they are restricted, well she is

restricted.
“This is nice,” he compliments, she’s
fascinated by how neat he is. The qualities
he carried are of his father’s, which puzzles
her.
“Thank you, do you want more?” she asks
with a smile, Miyalo is actually full but he
doesn’t want to disappoint his mother so
he nods with a smile.
She take his plate and dishes up for him
again, she sits down and looks at him eat
again.
“You’ve grown so much on your own, I’m
proud of you,” she begins and sighs.
“You’ve always been independent, I mean
you never depended on me; the same way
you had to eat food that wasn’t cooled by
me from the age 8, is the same way I was

forced to stop breast feeding you.” He

stares at her, no blink and no movement,
she doesn’t pay attention.
“They couldn’t let you stay for 9 months my
womb, when I was accepting that, they
snatched you away from me, they didn’t let

me replace you, worst thing is that you look

exactly like me, I’d look at myself on the
mirror and I’d see you; your first seizure
happened when you were only 2 days old, I
cried, thinking that I’d lose you, it turned out
that, for you to live I had to be away from
you, I hope you don’t hate me,” silence, still
she doesn’t pay attention to the Miyalo
that’s not blinking.
“Your grandfather told me to stay away
from you, I did, and only then did you have
a kind of smooth upbringing, I’ve always
yearned to touch you and kiss your cheeks,
but I couldn’t because I was putting you at
risk.” She lifts her head, Miyalo is quiet, and
staring just like he was when he was 2
years old. God what did she do? She just
wanted to confess, but again these fucking
ancestors meddle with her things, with
tears streaming down her face she walks
over to his side, she slaps his face twice.
“Miyalo, vuka!” it’s hard because her time is
limited, at least if it’s the usual jerking, this
staring spell is dangerous and he might die
if he is not attended sooner.
“Miyalo, wake up please!”
.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 16

***Bonus***

MABHEMBE

Amongst all the emotions she’s feeling,

fear is the dominating one. She fears losing
him, the guilt she would have to live with if
it happens that he dies.
God knows she would kill for him, if only

she had told him earlier, all this could have

been avoided. Earlier on when he checked
his pulse, it was weak.
She asked her neighbor's son to help her
put Miyalo in his designated alter, she burnt
incense and left him there, they need to
come through for Miyalo, they need to
wake him up. If they really want Miyalo to
carry 'Miyalo's' non-existent legacy, they
have to wake him up. We
She played her part, although it was a little
late, maybe not a little, but she told him
that he is not theirs, blood is the only thing
that Binds them.

She felt closer to her 2 day old Miyalo

today for the first time maybe that’s why he
had a staring spell. But what she felt is a

feeling that she will forever cherish, a

feeling that can never be replaced, a feeling
that she yearned for for 29 whole years.
She sighs before calling Hlanganani to
summons him home.

“Ma,” he says after the first ring.

“Miyalo is not okay, and there are things
that I need to tell you,” she gets straight to
the point, Hlanganani cusses under his
breath he is with Nelisile, apparently she
just wanted to sleep at Miyalo's home, and
she’s vomiting, also she reeks of alcohol.
“What happened, what did you do to him?”
he asks. At this point there’s a lot he is
questioning, his mother’s love for Miyalo is
the first thing in question.
“I didn’t do anything to him, but there are
things I need to tell you, come home; I want

to wake up with you here tomorrow

morning,” she says and hangs up.
She goes and checks on Miyalo, he still
hasn’t moved, his eyes are now closed. The
scariest part of this whole thing is when his
eyes roll back and the only thing you see is
his sclera and not the whole eye, it just

scared her.
His pulse is fully back, the incense must be
working. She’s not allowed to be doing any
of this but she’s concerned and she’s the
only family member that’s here, so she
might as well do it.
_
_
_
NELISILE MAGWAZA

“I want to go home,” I say coming out of the

bathroom, I just peed and I feel pressed
even now. I take a sit. Miyalo’s place is
home. I’m now bored, this girl is depressed
to the pits; all she does is slowly take that
glass of wine to her mouth and take small
sips.
“Do you want Miyalo to murder me?” she
raises a brow, I sigh, Miyalo is not my
security, nor is he my father.
“He wouldn’t do anything to you if he
doesn’t know that I’m there,” I get off the
couch and stumble my way to taking my
phone from the TV stand, I had put it to
charge. I call Zein, he tells me that he’ll be
here any minute from now. I go back to my
seat, I feel drunk now, we drank more than
two bottles.
“He’ll smell the alcohol and tell Miyalo,” I
don’t know why she’s stressing about
Miyalo.
“I can handle Miyalo, Thembekile
I’m not a 5 year old.” I say and sit.

There’s a Knock, I know it’s Zein, this one is

too cold to be visited so I get off the couch
and stumble to open the door, I’m on
freeze!
“You said you wanted to go home? I’m your
ride home,” why the hell must it be bhut’

Hlanganani. He flashes a smirk, damnit! All

the alcohol I drank is coming back, I feel

sick. I swallow hard, I feel dizzy too.

“Hey bhuti,” I clear my throat, I can’t hold it
in. I quickly run to the bathroom. Everything

I drank and ate before I drank comes out. I

take a moment after doing my business, I

need to think if what I’ll say as an excuse of

troubling Zein late at night.

I wash my mouth and go back to the dining

room, Thembekile is having a heated

conversation with bhut’ Hlanganani, I don’t

get it, she’s so scared of Miyalo yet she…

aiii nevermind.

“Are you ready to go?” he asks, I nod my

head. I turn to look at Thembekile and say,

“Bye sis' Theh,” she waves her hand with a
smile, she can’t possibly think I was being

nice, that was my final goodbye, I’m so

scared of this man here, he might kill me

with his words. We leave. I’m wondering

why he came instead of Zein.

“Zein is not feeling okay, so he called and

asked me to come instead,” As if he just

heard my thoughts. Zein should have told

me, I would have spent the night at sis’

Thembekile's home.

Heavy silence fills the car, he’s also driving

slow. If it wasn’t dark I would be looking

out the window, but it’s late now and I’ve

heard many stories of what people see at

night after they drank alcohol; ghosts with

chains!
“Ma,” I didn’t even hear his phone ring.

“Miyalo is not okay, and there are things

that I need to tell you,” she says, I listen

attentively, not that I wouldn’t have listened

if the conversation didn’t include Miyalo,

but now I turn my whole body and study his

movements, Miyalo might be in danger, or

maybe he had another episode! God I hate

epilepsy!

“What happened, what did you do to him?”

he asks. I see, his responses are calculated

and kept short. Why would he think his

mother did anything to Miyalo?
“I didn’t do anything to him, but there are

things I need to tell you, come home; I want

to wake up with you here tomorrow

morning,” she says and the line goes off,

she’s authoritative just like this one here.

“We are going to KZN,” it’s a statement, he’s

not asking if I’m up for it, although I would

have said yes, because I want to see

Miyalo, but being asked would have been

nice. I sigh and sink on the car seat,

preparing my butt to be flattened by the

seat, how many hour drive will this even

be?

.
.

PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 17

***Bonus***

NELISILE MAGWAZA

I'm dreading getting to KZN, I’m in no state

to see and meet Miyalo’s mother. I’m in

jeans and a polo neck, I don’t want to give

off an impression of being disrespectful,

you know how the society expects a

woman to do things to impress their in

laws, they expect them to change the way

they dress, it’s all bullshit but at the end of
the day those are the standards set to

determine if a woman is worthy for their

son, it doesn’t matter if the man is a

psycho or an abuser.
Listen to me talking like I’m going to ask

for Miyalo’s hand in marriage– shaking my

head! We are not even dating but I’m

already thinking of my self presentation to

his family– clap once!

We’ve been driving for hours in silence, if it

weren’t for the stops that we took to buy

food on the way, my mouth would be

smelling like shit. The alcohol I drank is

almost out of my system, but my knees
feel wobbly whenever we stop to stretch,
sigh!

We are now driving on a gravely road. They

sure do live in the deep rural area.

“Kusekhaya ke lapha!” (that’s my home) he

points to a big yard, all the yard here are big

and they are far from each other.

“It’s beautiful,” I’m not lying it is, there are

about 5 huts around a big house, I assume

that’s the main house and the yard is still

very much open.

“Thank you, it still needs to grow,” he says

getting of the car, oh he is leaving me

behind, he doesn’t have manner. I sigh

before getting off the car and trying to

catch up with him.

“Mfana wam,” this woman is a splitting

image of Miyalo, or is Miyalo a splitting

image of her? Whatever makes you sleep

at night. She smiles, her smile is

welcoming. “Ntombi,” she greets me, I look

down and smile.

“Yebo ma,” I say.

“Come inside,” I would like to ask where

Miyalo is, I’m impatient but I don’t.

The interior of the house is beautiful, it’s

old school, the house is filled with grey,

there’s a small detail of brown here and
there– old school brown– there’s

something short, I can’t get my finger

around what it is that is really short.

We sit on the comfortable couches, and

she looks between me and Hlanganani

with a smile– whatever it is that she’s

thinking is not correct.

“She looks to young to be your girlfriend,”

she says and sips her coffee.

“She is, and she’s not my girlfriend, she’s

your son’s girlfriend,” as if he is not her son.

“Miyalo? No ways,* I would have said I

wasn’t his girlfriend, but the shimmering of

her eyes stop me, she looks happy. “You
are beautiful,” well this is a first, I expected

to be shaded.
“She really is ma, umehlo!” (big eyes) they

both laugh and I smile. I would have said

something, but I have to keep my mouth

shut.

“Miyalo had one of his episodes last night,”

yes, it’s morning already. I felt it, that it was

one of his seizure attacks.

“What triggered it?” so that’s always the

first question he asks all the time? That’s

the first question he asked me too.

“I don’t know, we were eating and

chatting…”
“Chatting?” he interjects, this conversation
will not go anywhere honestly.

“How is he now ma?” I ask in a low voice,

my fingers are crossed that she won’t tell

me to fuck off. She sighs.

“He is breathing, but he hasn’t woken up, I

put him endlin yabadala,” ( in an ancestral

alter,) I nod.

“Can I see him?” she tells Hlanganani to

carry Miyalo to his room because I am not

allowed to be in those rooms, unless I’m

married to the family. Hlanganani

complains but goes anyways.

His room is one of the huts that are

outside. I sigh before I get inside. It’s clean
too damn clean.
I sit next to him, he is half naked– He only

has sweat pants on. I check his pulse and

it’s still there. I decide to stare because he

looks so peaceful, I don’t think I’m ready to

see his haunted eyes.

_
_

MIYALO NTSHANGASE

This place is foreign yet beautiful and

peaceful. If there’s anything he ever prayed

for was to get time alone just for him to

mourn things he's never mourned before,
but now that he’s alone, he feels some type
of contentment in his heart, he feels a

sense of belonging, God’s creation makes

him feel like he belongs.

The trees are blossoming, the grass is

green the birds are chirping; he likes the

sound that the waters are making. He

keeps looking around with the hopes of

seeing someone, someone that will tell him

more about this place, xx

“Miyalo my boy,” it’s a voice he doesn’t

recognize. He looks over his shoulder, a

man that is tall– probably his height in not

taller– dark as they come. still he doesn’t
recognize the man; the man doesn’t look

like anyone from his family.

“Yebo baba,” (hello, sir) you are considered

an African if you respect your elders.

“Ngu Ntshangase Mina mfan’wam, Ngu

Miyalo Ntshangase, nguyisomncane

owaxoshwa ugog' wakho ekhaya” (I’m a

Ntshangase, my name is Miyalo

Ntshangase, your uncle that was chased

away from home by your grandmother.)

Miyalo senior says and chuckles. “I wasn’t

even a year old when my mother had to

leave my father, apparently I wasn’t his

child because I looked like my mother more

than I did with my father,” again he

chuckles and shakes his head.

“My name is Miyalo nje,” Miyalo argues. If

confused was a person it would be Miyalo.

“You are Miyalo, so am I. I gave you that

name,” the man in ripped clothes sits next

to Miyalo. “Call me Mgazi,” Miyalo nods his

head. “I met your grandfather years ago, he

took me in; I worked as a herder in my

father’s home, it was hell because he

couldn’t even recognize me,”

“I’ve never heard of you,”

“They wouldn’t tell you anything, you are

the only one from your family that knows
me, and knows that I’m one if your own, get
me back home and…”

~
“Miyalo,” he is snapped back to life by the

voice of the woman who has his heart.

“Nelisile,” it comes out strained, she smiles

at him, he manages to crack a small smile.

“Where’s mom?” He asks.

“She’s in the big house, I asked your big

brother to bring you back to your room

because I’m not allowed to enter a room of

ancestors.”

“I missed you,” he sits up. “Izolo

ubuphuzile?” (were you drunk yesterday)

.
.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

CHAPTER 18

NELISILE MAGWAZA

“I was stressed because I missed you, so I

drank,” I say with a shrug. I don’t know how

he remembers all this.

“Alcohol?” He raises his brow.

“Yes, alcohol, it wasn’t poison,” he sighs

and shakes his head, he gets off the bed

and walks his sexy legs to the bathroom,

he is angry? You got to be kidding me.

Okay this is a modernized hut really. I
follow him.

“Muyalo?”
“Yini?” (What?)

“Let’s talk,” I say, really whatever I will be

saying will be lies, true lies.

“Ufuna ukungi buka ngichama?” (Do you

want to watch me pee?) He puts his hand

on his waist.

“That wouldn’t be a bad idea,” I could also

my mouth right now! He smiles sheepishly.

“Usufuna ngkufunxe ngesende?” (Do you

want me to fuck you?) No filter? For the

first time in my life I have no come back, I

feel my face flushing. I walk out of the
bedroom with my hand on my mouth, yohh

Miyalo!

“Let’s talk ke,” he says and smiles, he took

2 seconds in that bathroom, I doubt he

even peed.

“Because Miyalo is ready to talk?” I raise

my brow.

“Sorry ke,” he says and seats on the bed,

I’m on a chair.
“People are not allowed to sit on a chair

here in this house,” he says.

“Who came up with that law?” I’m in

disbelief, really.
“I did, and that chair you are sitting on is

has a disability, it could break any

moment,” he says and lies down resting his

head on his hand.

I get up and sit next to him. “Kungani

ungangi bingelelanga?” (why didn’t you

greet me)

“I did say hello,” it must be the epilepsy in

him talking!

“That is not a way of saying hello to indoda

yakho,” (your man) and when was he given

the position of being my man?

“You are not my man,” I argue.

“That’s you being in denial do you realize

that?” That might be true, put an emphasis

on might.

“No,” he chuckles.
“I’m not arguing or debating with you.

Indoda yakho iyakthanda uyezwa mama?”

(your man loves you, alright?) “Lie down

next to me,” no please, nothing! This guy! I

lie down next to him, his arm hugs my

waist. He turns me and locks me in his

embrace. For a moment we lock eyes, I

can’t stand the sadness in his. My eyes

dart from his eyes to his dark lips.

“Waqabule awakho,” (kiss them they are

yours,) he doesn’t wait for my response, he

smashes his soft lips on mine. His lips

taste of mint, he must have taken a minty

sweet or drank mint water. He smooches
my lips, barely using his tongue– I’m
grateful.

I smooch his lips too, I stop when I feel his

front poking me. “Until when do I wait?” he

asks breathlessly, his eyes are squinted, his

voice is deep and husky.

“There’s no wait,” I’m really confused, I

mean I’m not a virgin. I’ve only been with

one man that was also clean. “But this is

not the right place, this is your home and

we aren’t married,” I tell him.

“Eish,” that’s all he says before he gets off

the bed and goes to the bathroom, I laugh

at him as he walks, it looks like walking is
painful to him. I think I’ll just chill here, he
hasn’t introduced me to his mother.

_
_

_
He’s taken a shower, he looks fresh in his

shorts, this is my first time seeing him in

shorts. He is still topless. He probably goes

to gym once in a while, he has a full

stomach– not a pot belly– and his arms

are perfect for me.

“When did you arrive here?”

“Today, it’s probably one hour since I’ve

arrived” he nods his head. “I came with

your brother,” he doesn’t ask why I was with

his brother.
“Some things are starting to not make

sense, I had a weird dream before you

some me up,” I sit up, “apparently I share a

name with my uncle that was unknown,

and now I’m convinced that everything that

happens to me happens because I carry his

name, I’ll ask my mother,” he says.

“You look like your mother, yohhh and she’s

really nice,”

“I look gorgeous, I know” he chuckles “you

can’t my mother and the word nice in the

same sentence “ I wonder what he means

by that.
_

_
_

NONTOBEKO SIBEKO
With sweat dropping on her sweat and a

child wrapped around her back, she

continues to walk to the clinic.

Thandolwami– her son– has been crying

of pains, he always points to the top of his

head when he explain where the pain is.

They assumed that it was a headache so

they didn’t really pay attention to him.

Yesterday, Senzo– her brother– came

home early and caught up with his

nephews, Thandoluhle and Thandolwami–
Thandolwami cried of an excruciating pain

on his head; Senzo gave her money and

told her that she should go to the doctor.

Senzo has taken a role of being a father to

his nephews, their father died right before

she gave birth; their paternal family said

the children were not theirs, Senzo said and

she quotes; 'bayeke mtakama, ayikho

indlovu esindwa umboko wayo,” (no

elephant is burdened by its trunk) he said

“They will grow with or without them,” She

cried, heavily pregnant as she was.

She’s an elder sister to Senzo, they are 3

years apart. They lost both their parents on

a car accident, She was 8 and Senzo was 5,

their extended family didn’t give a damn
about them even though they took over

their parents' house and have them a

shelter, they would never offer them food,

so she, at the age of 8, would do anything

for something to eat. She got raped quite a

few times, at that time she didn’t know

what rape was but she knew it was painful

and it was not pleasant, and everyone that

penetrated her would tell her that it was a

way of working for bread, and that she

should never tell a soul, if she did they

would kill her brother.

Her aunt that moved in with her would

bring drunk men over, and when the aunt
slept they would also penetrate jer– till
today Senzo doesn’t know, however he

does know that his sister was very

protective of him. She decided to take a

short course after passing her matric, her

plan was to work and take care of her

brother would finally become the soldier

that he’s always dreamt of becoming, but it

didn’t work out, she never got a job.

She wipes her tears. She’s got to Dr Nana's

surgery, she sits down and puts

Thandolwami next to her, they have to

queue before they get to the clerk, the

queue is not that long. She just hopes and

prays that this is not something serious,
because they can’t burden Senzo any more.

PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 19

***Bonus***

NARRATED

The easiest way to tell the truth and not

being the bad guy was by calling a seer;

there’s one that is coming later today.
There won’t be any cleansing today, just a

consultation will take place. MaBhembe is

nervous, the time for the seer is coming, it’s

only an hour away. She feels like the day

went by too quick.

She just took a bath, a long one to relax her

muscles. She puts on a dress and wraps a

doek on her head. She wants to go to

Nelisile and ask her a few questions,

tradition says that they could be fined for

her being here, with or without her parents'

consent.

She knocks twice before Nelisile opens the

door for her, she’s still in her jeans and her
top, she looks like she’s taken a bath,

probably why Miyalo is our with his brother.

“MaNjinji,” Nelisile blushes.

“Yebo ma,” she lets her inside they both sit

down. Being a woman that gave birth to

males, she had to accept that her sons are

not hers but her daughters-in-law's. She

took a vow that she would never be a

mother that chooses wives for his sons,

she’d love anyone that they love.

“Miyalo told me only of your surname,

umuhle,” (you are beautiful,) MaBhembe

says.
“Thank you ma,” her eyes are cast on the

floor.
“My son is a troubled boy, he’s hardly ever

happy, I think I’m the main cause of him

being unhappy, bit I see how happy he

becomes when one of use mentions your

name, ngiyabonga. Please love him, be

patient with him; but if he ever lays a hand

on you, leave mtanami.” She says.

They chat a little before she gets up and

instructs Nelly not to get out until she’s told

to do so. Nelly nods her head. Miyalo sent

her airtime so she buys free minutes and

calls Thembekile, it’s time for umgosi!

_
The time has come, the three of them are
sitting on the dining room, MaBhembe just

called her boys here, it’s only now that she’s

I forming them about the man that is

coming– Mkhulu Zondiwe.

“Mama, you should have let us know,”

Hlanganani says annoyed, he was already

asking around for a 'legit' Sangoma at the

rank; most people taint the reputations of

traditional healers.

“What difference would it have, wouldn’t

have the man came either way?” Miyalo

purses his lips to muffle his laugh,

although they never had a relationship with

his mother, he has never been td where to

get off by her, so he enjoys it when his
brother is told.

The man is here!

MaBhembe is nervous, she needs water.

Hlanganani is impatient, he can’t wait to

expose the man this man that he is not

legit. Miyalo is chilled.

“Your home is empty and heavy, is that

possible?” Mkhulu Zondiwe starts off, he

turns to Hlanganani and says “Miyalo!”

“What did I say? This man is fake, I am not

Miyalo…”
“Yet you should have been Miyalo, this one

wasn’t suppose to exist. But because your

parents are forward, they welcomed you
sooner, Hlanganani wokunuka!” (my foot,)

Hlanganani clenches his jaws.

“Ya mufi!” (the dead one) he turns to

Miyalo. “You are handful, what’s troubling

you?”

“Who are you and why are you calling me

‘umufi’?” Miyalo asks with an attitude.

“Get yoursekf together, you are too much of

a puzzle, I’ll solve you though,”

“Mbokodo, us that what you are? Are you a

strong woman? The first they tell a woman

is to 'pray' and why don’t you pray for your

son? Choosing to take orders from dead

angry people? Where’s the weakness

coming from and why are you married into
your brother’s paternal family?” what is this

man about? He seems angry too angry.

“Broken almost beyond repair.” Bab'

Zondiwe takes in a deep breath.

“Miyalo, that alter that is outside is yours, it

was given to you before you were given

birth to, you are the one that will hunt for

the dead Miyalo's maternal family,

Hlanganani will pay the damages and pay

for Miyalo to take the Ntshangase family

legally, after that you go to the alter that is

outside, take his spirit and unite it with your

family. He didn’t want to come back but he

ran away from his maternal family because

there was no money, his mother told him

about your family and he came here

looking for a job.” Heavy Silence, Miyalo is

connecting some dots. Someone needs to

find Hlanganani because he is lost. “Pay

attention to your dreams that’s where you’ll

find your answers, sleep in that alter at

least once a week,” Most things this man is

saying is not making sense, MaBhembe is

now confused, this is not how everything

was narrated to her husband and her

father-in-law.
“I don’t live here,” Miyalo says.

“From today you are living here, or you

continue having these fake seizures that

were almost cemented by pills, you guys

wasted my time I am not needed here,” he
looks at Hlanganani “Whether you think of

gunning me down or not it doesn’t change

that Hlanganani is not your name, you were

supposed to be Miyalo,” he presses it, if

this was not an elder Hlanganani would

have clicked his tongue “We’ll talk when

you have all the information that I can’t

reach out to, at the end of the day, some

things should be known between you and

your father, this one here is your mother

and she lives you, she just doesn’t know

how to pray” he gets up and walks to the

door “sengihembe,” (I’ve left,)
“Tense,” Hlanganani is the first one to
comment.

“Awuthule bhut’ Hlanganani wokunuka,”

(shut up, Hlanganani my foot,) they laugh

and sigh.
“You gave me up?” Miyalo asks.

“I was forced to do that,” his mother is

already defensive.

“Im not angry, relax ma. I want to have

conversation with you, but I just need to

sleep for now,” he says and leaves.

He needs to cuddle Nelisile to sleep, some

things are just too heavy for him, he feels

for Bab Miyalo but again he feels for

himself, he has his own life to live.
She’s fast asleep, he gets in the bed after
getting off his clothes, he cuddles her, and

for the first time he lets some of his tears

flow, they say it’s a fucking fake epilepsy

but it ruined his life!

PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 20

***Bonus***

NONTOBEKO SIBEKO
My time to get inside has come, everything

has been written down and I’ve paid the

price of consulting. I’ve been dreading this,

my heart somehow feels as if this is

something big and heavy. I sigh before

getting up and following the clerk to the

doctor’s office, or whatever they call it.

The doctor is an Indian lady, Dr Nana; she

smiles at Thandolwam and looks at me.

“How old is he mommy?” She is sweet too.

“He is 3 years old doctor, “ she looks at him

again and smiles at him. He returns the

smile this time, she takes him from me,

she’s taking him to take his blood and do

whatever doctors do.

“I don’t know what is wrong with him for

now, but with all the information you’ve just

told me, I suspect that it is Brain cancer,”

my heart skipd a beat or two, tears stream

down my face, God can’t hate me this

much. Thandolwam and Thandoluhle are

my life after Senzo, I can’t imagine being

without them.

She offers me tissue, it’s not gonna work

tears are gushing from my face. “My

suspicions might be proved wrong, let’s

hope for the best,” I see the pity in her eyes,

I nod my head and bite my lower lip.

Once I feel strong enough to walk I thank

the doctor before taking Thandolwam and

strapping him on my back, our next

appointment will not take place here, we

were told told to go to Ukuphila clinic,

tomorrow morning, apparently that place

deals with such cases.

I walk with tears streaming down my face,

people are staring, they are probably

judging me; ‘a big bodied lady in a hideous

clothes, a baby strapped on her back is

weak', apparently crying is being weak.

Klipspruit west is a bit far from Kliptown

but I don’t care, my feet will take me home;

Senzo gave me taxi fare, but I’ll use that
money to buy potatoes to cook tonight. He

might act like a man and say I’m not

burdening him, but in all honesty, I am. I

need to get a job as soon as I can, even if it

means that I’ll be a cleaner.

By the time I get home, my tears have dried

on my face. My heart sinks when I see

Senzo's taxi parked on the yard, damnit, I’ll

have to speak about this, whether I like it or

not.

“You are crying,” he hasn’t had a joint today,

I can detect that from the way he speaks,

he is normally slow when he speaks but it

gets worse when he’s smoked. He takes
Thandolwam, he slept on our way back.

“Why did you walk gazi?”

“We’ll need that money for something else

gazi, things are about to get rough for me,

the doctor suspects that it’s brain cancer,”

fresh tears make their out.

“She suspects that’s probably not it, even if

it is we will face it head on and conquer it,”

I don’t know if I have the strength to.

“Yeah, it just hurts, akukhanyi yaz,” (it

doesn’t get better) I say and wipe my tears,

he pulls me in for a hug.

“We’ve got each other,” he says and kisses

the top of my head. He grew up do fast. He
is 25 years old, he grew stronger than me,

after his matric he went to find a job

because I wasn’t winning. It hurts me that

he had to let go of his dreams so that he

can provide for me, I still brought 2 more

mouths to feed, I knew how hard life was

for us but I still went and opened my legs

without birth control.

“I’ll cook, go and sleep,” he says, I don’t

need to sleep. I need to bath.

“Where is Thandoluhle?” I ask.

“He said he wasn’t feeling okay so I put him

to sleep,” I nod and head to the kitchen and

boil water.
I still can’t believe that we finally got to take

over our parents' house; I took them to

court after turning 22, it took us 2 whole

years to finally get the house, we finally got

the house and those witches out of our

lives.
After taking a bath, I lotion my body and

rest my body, sleep us not coming; sigh!

_

_
_

MIYALO NTSHANGASE

Sleep didn’t visit him at night. He kept on

turning and tossing. So life in the bhundus

until he find Miyalo’s maternal home I’d

what he is destined to? He kept on thinking

about how he and Nelly would make their

relationship work if he is bound to put his

life on hold for a period he doesn’t know.

He slept at about 3h00, it’s 6h30 now he

just woke up and Nelisile is not next to him.

He quickly gets off bed and puts on his

shorts. Shirtless, he goes out in search of

Nelisile.
He hears her laugh, she’s in the kitchen, he

hopes and prays that she’s not being

subjected to slavery, God help him!

Oh she’s sitting on a high chair enjoying a

cup of something that he hopes is not

alcohol.
“Good morning mbambo,” (ribs) his mother
says, it’s awkward when someone that has

given you a cold shoulder all your life and

tries to be nice.

“Morning mother,” he says with a straight

face, he’s not even looking at her, her heart

sinks but she manages to cover it with a

smile. “Why didn’t you wake me up Nelly?”

“Good morning, you were sleeping so

peacefully, I didn’t want to disturb you.” She

says, he nods. “I’m going to check on

ubafo,” he says and walks out. Nelisile and

MaBhembe are left in awkward silence.

Hlanganani is packing his bags, he’s

already leaving? “Bafo?” Miyalo knocks.
“What’s the use of knocking if you are
already inside?” Hlanganani asks, Miyalo

raises his brow. This has never been a

problem to any of them, not knocking has

been their tradition.

“Uyaphi?” (where are you going?) Miyalo

ignores Hlanganani’s question.

“Johannesburg, Senzo said he needed to

see me,” Hlanganani sighs.

“You are going to Johannesburg for Senzo?

Are serious?”

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 21

HLANGANANI NTSHANGASE

The only thing that puts his heart at peace

is that they finally know the truth about the

epilepsy that Miyalo was subjected to by

Miyalo, crazy right? It took a lot in him to

stay calm during the time they were being

told what caused and causes of their

sorrows. He still need to revisit whoever

that man was, he seems to be legit, he has

too many questions to ask.

What makes him sit up and think at night

is, not being able to think of an African way
to solve this, he somehow feels like he

failed Miyalo because had he looked deep

into this problem, things would probably

have been solved earlier, now it’s a little

late, Miyalo has found a girl, he has to put

his life and the poor girl's life on hold.

Yesterday night he got a call from Senzo,

saying that one of his drivers stole money

from him, so he had to wake up early–

something he hates with his whole

respiratory system– and pack his clothes,

he didn’t tell anyone about leaving, he’ll just

let them know when he’s leaving. It puzzles

him as to why Sabelo would steal from

them, Sabelo is just a young man, that
stares lot, maybe he’s gay, he never pays

attention.
“Bafo,” the boy is already inside!

“What’s the use of knocking if you’re

already inside?” he asks. He has been

teaching him about knocking but Miyalo

never takes it because well, he also doesn’t

knock. Miyalo is a 'practise what you

preach' type of person.

“Uyaphi?” (Where are you going,) Miyalo

asks totally ignoring his question.

“Johannesburg, Senzo said he needed to

see me,” he says and sighs.

“You are going to Johannesburg for Senzo,

are you serious?” Miyalo bursts out

laughing.

“Yeah, and some other things; are you

okay?” he zips his bag and sits down next

to his little brother.

“Yeah I am,” Miyalo smiles, it’s a smile of

assurance.

“I’m sorry for what you went through, I wish

I could’ve…”

“You are my brother Bafo, and you did

whatever you could to make sure that I

survived, you put me to the best hospitals,

uyighost wena bafo,” (you are the best)

Miyalo interjects. “Now you can go to

Joburg and look for a wife… or a husband,”

Miyalo says.
“Msunu we mbuzi” he cusses.
_

_
_

He said his good-byes to his mother and

Miyalo, he had a private conversation with

Nelisile, she promised to take care if Miyalo

and that she’d come back to Johannesburg

tomorrow morning because she has work

waiting for her.

He laughs as he thinks of how troublesome

he was, his father was always threatening

to disown him, Hlanganani was the type of

boy parents warned their children about,

funny thing is that he didn’t smoke, he only

drank from time to time, but he was
rebellious as they come. Him and his father

only had a healthy relationship when he

turned 21, he was a man then, he learned a

lot about life, and he was tired of the

beatings he got from his father.

As he drives, he thinks back to his ex

girlfriend, till today he doesn’t know where

she is, she disappeared from the face of

Earth, 19 years ago, he was 16 at that time.

They met when he was 14 and she was 13;

she was his virgin breaker.

To him, she wasn’t that important only her

vagina was, but when she learned that he

didn’t really love her, she asked to break
things off, but he lost it, he couldn’t let her

go. Maybe he was already developing

feelings for her, but she ran away, it’s now

19 years and still there is nothing that he

knows that links to her– her name was

Thabile Mhlongo. Maybe that’s why he

fucks and fucks but never falls in love; his

heart yearns for closure. He wants to know

what it was that was so bad that she had to

run away, he was never physical with her,

they were young, be he had to mean

something, right?

It was a long drive without any stops

because this time he was driving alone,

there was no Nelisile who is always hungry!

That girl is a work and a half! Miyalo should

never get her pregnant because, WOW.

By the time he gets to their dark room, an

underground room that only he and his

friend-employee knows about– well him

and Senzo now because he ordered him to

bring Sabelo here.

“Ya,” he says and folds his long sleeved

shirt. Sabelo is chained to the chair that’s

put against the pole that is in the middle of

the room. This was always a room that

Hlanganani killed in, everyone that betrayed

him, he’s always killed them here; maybe

today might be different because he’s

developed a heart– maybe, just maybe.

“Ekhaya kwakunemali, a lot of money,” (at

home, we had money,) he takes a chair and

puts it opposite Sabelo who is almost

trembling, he is shit scared. “I always

thought it was everyone’s and that

everyone was entitled to it. My father sat

me down and told that that money wasn’t

ours– me and my brother– it was his and

his wife. I left school there and then and

ran away from home. I ran away with my

father’s money thinking that I would use it

as capital to start my own thing. He hunted

me down and found me, eyyy yangigxoba

inja mfanam,” (that dog beat me up) he

says and chuckles. “ I was 14 that time, he

beat me up to a pulp, do you want to know
why he let me live?” Sabelo nods, not once

or twice but thrice.

“Yes, Nduna,” (boss) he is just so young,

probably 19 or 20; he started working her

last year, he has a matric certificate, more

educated than he is, he only has grade 9.

He was introduced to him by Bab’ Sibanda,

an elder friend of his.

“He let me live because I was his son and

that’s the only difference from him and I,

my employee stole from me, and I can do

almost anything to you because we do not

have any blood ties.”
He unchains him and says, “if you wanted
money or needed it, you could have asked,

but you didn’t because you don’t respect

me, so ngishaye,” (hit me) he throws in the

first punch, it lands on Sabelo's jaw; the

second onie lands on his stomach; Sabelo

groans and coughs– blood.

“Ngiyaxolisa Nduna,” (I’m sorry boss) he

says, crying. Hlanganani stops and looks at

him.

“Hamba, go and don’t look back,” he clicks

his tongue. Sabelo thanks him before he

limps away, by the time he gets to door,

Hlanganani shoots him, he aimed his head.

When Sabelo falls, his heart does too, it
was a right thing to do, he had to kill him,
but why does it feel so heavy,? Why is his

heart breaking?
Guilt builds and leaves a lump on his

throat, he get off the chair and slowly

checks his pockets, an ID!

'Othandiwe Sabelo Mhlongo' is what is

written, Othandiwe was going to be his first

son's name, only Thabile knew about that.

When he does his calculations he comes to

a conclusion of the boy being 19, no! He

needs to calm himself, it could be a

coincidence. He checks his pulse, it’s weak

but it’s still there. Sthelo! He needs to call

Sthelo, he wipes his tears, and calls Sthelo

to rush to his office.

#unedited
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

CHAPTER 22

NELISILE MAGWAZA

I’m finally going home tomorrow z I’ll be

free of these clothes that MaBhembe gave

me, they are so hideous. She gave me

dresses, her teenage-hood dresses.

I woke up early today and helped ma a little

in the kitchen after bathing.

Being in the presence of these two, Miyalo

and his mother, is weird. They can’t even

have a tangible conversation, all they do is

to greet whenever they see each other, and

that’s it. I don’t think it’s healthy for a child

and a mother to have that kind of a toxic

relationship.

The day went by very quick today.

It’s now time we go to bed, there are things

that he said he wanted to talk to me about,

I’m nervous and dreading the 'talk,’ you

know when a man says 'we need to talk' it

can’t be something good.

“Ma, I think I’ll wake up early and leave,” I

say, she smiles. She’s such a warm person,

I love her. Sometimes I look at her and

think about my own mother, I wonder what

would have happened if she didn’t abandon

me.

“By the time you leave, I’ll long be awake,”

she says. We chat a little before she

complains about her back and that she

needs to go and sleep. No matter how long

I dread this, I have to go and face him.

He is sitting on his ass, staring at the wall. I

quietly walk in: my heart is beating out of
my chest, I’m hoping that him sitting there
quietly and staring without blinking has

nothing to do with his epilepsy, it’s

traumatic.

“Miyalo?” he snaps his head and looks at

me, after a moment or so, he smiles at me.

“I’m here,” u sit and sigh, this is something

bad I feel it in my collar bone.

“Awufuni ngipota pote?” (Don’t you want

me to massage you?)

“I do, please,” I say, he laughs, mxm!

“Nelly, I’m not going back to Johannesburg

anytime soon,” I can’t believe this!

“Abd why is that?” I sit legs crossed, I’m

waiting for his reason, I hope he is not

telling me that he is doing to marry a virgin
girl from the Reed, I will go crazy. I’ll burn

him and his mother before leaving.

“It’s a long story,” fuck long stories! I want a

reason.
“Miyalo you can’t tell me about fucking

‘long story’ what am I supposed to do with

that? I need something tangible,” I say.

“Cussing us something you will never do

when talking to me, I never cuss you,”

Goodness me, he doesn’t get that I’m angry

does he?
“Miyalo…” his lips land on mine, his lips are

sweet, he just ate something sweet. While

smooching my lips, he lays me carefully on

the bed. He lightly bites my lip.

“Mgazi is hungry,” he says softly, and takes

my hand, he brushes my hand off to his

hard front. My breath hitch, I feel my clit

throbbing, Njinji is hungry too.

He kisses my cheek and trails his kiss

down to my neck, he lightly bites kisses

and sucks my neck. My feet feel tingles, I

cross them around his waist. In his clothes

he moves in a slow pace– he is dry

humping and making me wetter.

“Ngifuna ukubingelela, Nelly,” (I want to

greet, Nelly) his voice is deeper and husky. I

nod my head. He lifts my dress– well, his
mother’s– up, he gets me off my panties,

I’m butt naked and he is fully clothed. He

places his two fingers on my clit and

slightly pinches it. His mouth goes to my

one breast, my breasts are not big, neither

are they small, he sucks it. Fuck, I’m going

crazy. “I don’t want your finger inside me,” I

hate being fingered, I prefer penis!

He chuckles and gets of his sweatpants

and his boxers at once, his joy stock is

long, I’m glad it’s not too thick. I can

definitely accommodate him. He puts on a

condom, he slowly enters me. I moan,

closing my eyes.
His pace starts off slow, his thrusts are

filled with love. “You are beautiful MaNjinji,”

he keeps on whispering in my ear. He puts

his thumb on my clit, creating pleasure. I

want it to stop, I don’t want it to stop at the

same time, seeing that I want to fight his

thumb off, he crosses my hands over my

hand and locks them with one hand of his.

He picks up his pace.

“Miyalo,” I’m trying by all means to keep my

voice lowered, I feel him deep inside me.

“Uyang' thuka wena?” (you cuss at me?)

His voice sounds strained.

“I’m sorry,” I cry. He deepens his strokes,

fucking God I’m dying.

“Mayebabo!!” (Oh my God) he groans, my
wave is coming, I feel it. My legs start to

tremble. He taps twice on my clit, I lose all

my morals and sream, releasing my wave,

he doesn’t stop fucking me, he thrusts in

through my release.

“Hayi, Mesiya oyingcwele, oh fucking God,”

he groans, and collapses over me.

“I told you about that Seer that was here

right?” I can’t find my strength to nod. “He

said there is a Miyalo that I need to find,

lead ubhuti to pay damages to his maternal

family and bring him to his rightful home,

that’s shy I can’t come with you Sthandwa

Sami, I need to go in search, but I promise
to make this work, make us work,” he says
and kisses my forehead before he pulls out

and goes to the bathroom, a few moments

later I feel a wet towel on my vagina and

thighs.
_

_
_

Jesus, it’s already 5am? But why is my

alarm tone changed to uMaskandi? I

stretch my hand and fish for my phone, oh

it’s not my phone that’s ringing, t’s Miyalo’s

phone. Someone is calling. I hope it’s not

one of his bitches.

He gets up and answers the phone.
“Bafo… Bafo, what’s wrong… shhh, calm
down and stop crying, tell me what’s up,” he

says, God bhut’ Hlanganani is crying? This

must be bad, I’m panicking too. I hope

everyone is okay and nothing too bad is

happening. “I’ll be there soon, Thula phela

Bafo, I’ll come,” (stop crying brother)

“Babe, get up and dress up, I’ll explain on

the way. I’ll go and tell ma that we are

leaving,” I hear everything that he is saying,

but my question is, who will be driving? I

love Miyalo, but I’m not ready to die.

.
.

PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 23

NELISILE MAGWAZA

He is the one driving! I’ll shit my pants, I

mean I’ll shit my hideous dress.

It was 2am when Hlanganani called and

wept on the phone, he wanted to drive in

silence, but I refused to do that, the least

he could do to compensate my sleep was

to tell me why we were driving so early in

the morning.
It took time for me to tell me, when he

finally did he said that his brother's taxi

driver got shot in the heaf, he said it was

something about the taxi wars. He said the

boy was young, I don’t think it’s possible for

the boy to live, but I pray he does. My heart

breaks for Hlanganani. He is probably a

caring employer, that’s why he was crying.

I don’t know if being with Miyalo is a good

choice, I have more chances if dying than I

have of living, I mean I’m also here in with

him in a car that he is driving!

But I’m willing to risk it, I’m willing to risk

my life for a man.

I don’t know how many times I slept we are

still not close to Johannesburg, he said

he’ll drop me off at home and drive to the

hospital, he said he’d update me.

“Sthandwa Sami, we are here,” it’s already

dawn. I stretch my arms before yawning. I

kiss his cheek and say goodbye before I

climb off the car and head inside the

house.
My mood drops when I reach the door, I

miss him already. I don’t think I’ll survive

this long distance relationship thing, it will

get too much for me.

I have goodies that Miyalo bought me on

the way, but I have no appetite. I just get to

my bedroom and throw myself on the bed.

_
_
_

NARRATED

Sthelo is beyond angry.

He doesn’t know what went through

Hlanganani head before he took a gun and

shot a child,but this is not the time to point

fingers and cuss at each other. More than

angry he is scared of the possibilities of

Othandiwe dying. If he wasn’t a possible

uncle if this boy, he would have taken part

of the surgery that’s happening right now,

instead he is here and trying to calm a

crying Hlanganani down.

He is a son to MaBhembe's brother, he is a
year older than Hlanganani. They all were

close when they were growing up, they still

are. Ntshangase treated him like his son

whenever he visited. He never felt like a

nephew, he felt like a child of their own, it

lead to strong unity between him and his

cousins.
He loves them, that’s why he is always

there whenever they need him. Their father

instilled brotherhood in them, something

he never thought he would ever grow up

having since he was the only son at home–

a spoilt brat.
Being a spoilt brat is what led him to being

a 36 year old divorcee, no kids whatsoever.

The main reason why he divorced his wife

is because the woman made him raise

children that were not his, and thank

goodness he found out early, before he

could fall deeply in love with the kids.

People, well his family, judged him for

abandoning the kids, but he wasn’t about to

love and take care of his friend's children,

bullshit! The twins were are still young they

could be taken to their father, and he wants

no damages, he doesn’t want to see

Realeboga's face anymore.

When he asked her why she cheated she

replied and told him that 'no one ever want

to be with a spoilt brat, I was with you

because you have money, you have no

great sex game either,' it hurt him, it fucking

bruised his ego, but it taught him to stay

away from women.

He looks at Hlanganani, he looks so

broken, calling Miyalo didn’t really help as

he thought it would, he just cried; it was

there and then when Sithelo realized that

Hlanganani is hurt, it was his first time

seeing Hlanganani cry, it’s probably the first

time Hlanganani cries, the guy buried his

father without shedding a tear.

His colleague, Thembekile, comes out of
the operating room, she looks drained as

hell. Hlanganani doesn’t have the strength

to get up from the seat that he is seated

on. Sthelo gets up and meets Thembekile

halfway.

“The bullet went through one part of the

brain, it was the right hemisphere, it’s not

totally damaged because the shooter was

very far from him and also the gun that

was used was not high powered firearm;”

she goes on and tells him that they

underwent a craniectomy, he knows what a

craniectomy is, but for the first time in his

life he is annoyed at Thembekile for

making such a long speech, all he needs to
know is if the boy made it or not. “We also

stabilized him and got him out if danger, he

might wake up any time from now, that boy

is a fighter, he survived 2 bullets, who shot

him?” okay this is where he engulfs her

with a hug, after all this big mouthed

colleague of his is competent.

“Thank you,” he says and quickly moves

away from her, he shouldn’t have!

“Bafo, your boy is alive, he will probably be

awake in a few hours,” he tells a frozen

Hlanganani, he sighs and sits next to him.

Hlanganani can’t victimize himself in this

situation, he shot a child, who the fuck

does that? He could have beaten a child
like he would have done with his own, but

taxis got too much in his head that he

doesn’t know when to ask or to shoot.

“Ukuphi ubafo?” (Where’s my brother) it’s

Miyalo’s voice coming from the passage,

someone is fighting him. Sthelo quickly

gets off his seat, it’s the new security

guard, how can you fight someone from

getting to a clinic? He needs to have a word

with him.

“Myeke,” (leave him,) Sthelo orders.

“Bafo, are you okay? Where Bhuti?” Miyalo

asks walking furthermore inside.

“He’s here, looking like a Zombie,” Sthelo
says and sighs.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

CHAPTER 24

HLANGANANI NTSHANGASE

It would have been better if the boy didn’t

know about him, if the boy hadn’t already

known that he is his father.

Maybe him breaking the news to him would

have been better. He would have broken

the news to the boy after they were both

ready, after he had apologized.

After finding the boy’s ID in, he also found a

picture attached to the ID, and that picture

was his! He cried until Sthelo got there and

took then both to the hospital, they also

wanted to admit him, but he straight up

refused.
The boy knew all along that he is his father,

but called him 'nduna' every fucking time

they would bump into each other, it hurts, it

hurts so much that he can’t even keep his

eyes open, but closing them brings back

the sad Sabelo asking for forgiveness.

He keeps on crying and weeping but the

pain doesn’t get any lesser, shooting the

boy wasn’t part of his plans, he was ready

to let him go, but his head; Sabelo is a child

for goodness sake, but he will own up to

his mistakes.
First, he needs to have a one-on-one

conversation with Dr. Zungu, like a robot, he

walks to her office, his head bowed.

He knocks and knocks, no response. He

quietly opens the door. She's sleeping,

she’s probably tired, she worked over the

night and he still hasn’t thanked her.

“Doctor?” his voice is lowered and scratchy,

she’s a light sleeper, she wakes up, her red

eyes stare at her, is this Nelisile 2.0 or

what?

“Mr. Ntshangase?” she says after scanning

him, “you can take a seat,” she clears her

throat after saying.

“Thank you so much for sacrificing your

sleep to help us,” he says and sighs, tears

are building up, a lump is already formed,

but he can’t cry now.

“I was just doing my work, sir,” he nods and

sniffs, he takes a moment before he says,

“I would like to know what will happen after

this.”
“I don’t know how he will respond, he might

have memory loss for a few weeks until the

brain has repaired itself, you see, the brain
has too many neurons so stitching it would

do more damage, so we will allow it to

repair itself, only then will he wake up. The

only possible thing he would not be able to

do after waking up is to show emotions, he

might be a person with a blank expression

until he dies,” another lump forms on his

throat, he swallows it back.

“Thank you,” he nods.

“I need the truth sir, who shot the boy?”

Thembekile asks, he bites his trembling lip

and forms a fist with his hands.

“I did,” tears free themselves. Her eyes

widen, what the hell?

_
_

_
Awkward silence fills the room, the three of

them are occupied by their thoughts.

Miyalo and Sthelo are angry at Hlanganani

they can’t even look at him, what happened

to punishing a child if he’s done something

wrong? How does one pull out a gun and

shoots a child in the head? Hlanganani is

thinking and asking himself how he will

apologise to the boy, what he did is very

unforgivable, he will try by all means to

make sure that the boy forgives him, but he

will give him space too.
“Some people just don’t deserve to live,”

Miyalo says and clicks his tongue,

Hlanganani heart skips a beat. “Whether

that child was yours or not, you shouldn’t

have killed him, uyinja nje,” (you are a dog,)

Miyalo continues and clicks his tongue.

“Miyalo,” Sthelo warns. Hlanganani wipes

his tears using his T-shirt, he understands

his brother's anger.

“Truth needs to be told, this man here is

heartless and he doesn’t deserve

forgiveness from that boy,” Miyalo's words

pierces through Hlanganani's heart. He

doesn’t want to think if Sabelo not forgiving

him.
“Bekuyi phutha mfowethu, ngiyaxolisa

ungaze ungiqalekise, yobe bafo,” (it was a

mistake, I’m sorry, please don’t curse me,

I’m sorry brother.) Hlanganani whispers

and gets up from his seat, he needs time

alone.

Sthelo slaps Miyalo’s head, “you are so

insensitive and ungrateful, you can’t say

hurtful things to him when he is already

hurt, I’m not saying what he did was right

but he acknowledges his mistakes right?

This also doesn’t change that he is your

brother, what will happen if he decides to

take his life? You can do better Miyalo, he

was there for you on your hardest days, he

stood by your side, but you say things like

these to him,” Sthelo says and shakes his

head in disappointment.

Miyalo swallows hard, and buries his face

in his hands.

Hlanganani has gotten a quiet spot in the

clinic, his heart is getting heavier and

heavier; it’s too bad because there is no

one else to blame in this situation that him,

he did this to himself. What Miyalo said is

true, maybe he doesn’t deserve to live,

maybe he doesn’t deserve Sabelo’s

forgiveness, but he prays for both of those

things.
He prays that he lives so he can find
Miyalo’s maternal family, so that his

brother's life goes back to its normal state.

He prays that he lives so that he can get his

son’s forgiveness. He almost jumps when

something wraps his leg, he looks down,

it’s a child. He looks around, there’s no one

with him here? He scoops the boy up and

stares at him, he looks so cute, he wonders

how it would have felt like having Sabelo in

his arms when he was still a little boys.

“Ya boy, how are you?” he asks through his

tears, the boy probably doesn’t know what

tears are.
“I have a pain here Malume, and I can’t find
my mother,” he shows Hlanganani where

the pain is, his small fingers point at his

head. “Why are you crying?” with his little

thumbs the boy wipes his tears,

Hlanganani smiles a little, the boy is so

thoughtful.
“It’s dust that’s affecting my eye, I’m not

crying, what’s your name? I’ll help look for

your mother,” he tells the child.

“I’m Thandolwam Sibeko, I’m 3 years old

and my mother is Nontobeko Sibeko,” he

smiles and nods, he knows Nontobeko

Sibeko, but the question is, is she the

mother of this child?
.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

CHAPTER 25

NONTOBEKO SIBEKO

Thandolwam will be the death of me, I

swear! I don’t know where to find him now.

He said that he wanted water, the doctor

told him where to go, now he is nowhere to

be found. It’s been more than 5 minutes

since he has been gone.

Had this been Thandoluhle, he would be

back by now, Thandoluhle is the one that

has a poor speech, he doesn’t like being

around people, meanwhile his twin is a

total opposite of him, it’s easy for

Thandolwam to mingle and talk to people.

We were here 2 days ago and yesterday

night we got a message that the results are

back, I’m anxious, I don’t know what to

think. I’m praying that the cancer the

doctors are expecting is not what he has,

really. With his weight loss and everything,

I’m still hoping for better results, I don’t

think I’d be able to live if one of my babies

were to be taken away from me.

I am looking for him, I cannot yell his name
out his name like I wish to due to the rules

here. A man has him in his arms, they are

chatting up a storm. It take a lot in me to

stay calm.
“What did I tell you about being

comfortable with strangers Thandolwam?”

my breathing pattern is starting to hitch! He

turns, of my God, him!

“Bhut’ Hlanganani,” I think my soul is

leaving my soul, my hands are suddenly

sweaty, I think I need water. He gives me a

lopsided smile, it doesn’t reach his

bloodshot eyes.

“Sis’ Ntobe, he is yours?” he asks.

“Yes, he is mine,” he nods with a smile.

“He looks so cute, I like him; can I take him

out for ice cream, some time? Just him and

I?” well I don’t know about that, but I nod

anyway.
“Please give me your numbers ke, long

time hey,” I’m lost in his bloodshot eyes, he

looks like someone who was crying. I give

him my numbers and then take my son

from him. I know Hlanganani, he is a friend

and a boss to Senzo. I look at him, he is

looking at me too, we share eye contact

before my eyes run away from his.

I walk away.

Sigh!
_
_

_
NELISILE MAGWAZA

I’m angry!

Maybe angry is an understatement. I

haven’t heard from Miyalo since he

dropped me off yesterday.

I woke up and took a bath, I’m going to

work today. I woke up in a bad mood, so I

was vomiting– it’s a habit of mine, I vomit

when I’m pissed. As if my day didn’t start

well, when I get to the kitchen, I see Miyalo,

Lord help me! I just give him a dirty eye and

pass him, what was I here to do? Oh, I was
here to eat, but I’m not in the mood, I just
lost my appetite because of this man!

“Nelly, please sit down and listen to me, I

won’t be long,” I huff and sit down. I tap my

fingers on my knee to show that I am very

impatient, and I am in a hurry.

“What do you have to say to me Miyalo?”

Bloody fits!
“We just learned that the boy that was shot

was my brother’s son, I know that’s not

enough for an explanation, but I was so

frustrated,” it’s clear that I bring stress to

him, I’m not his sanctuary.

“I understand,” I say coldly and get off the

house, this guy is full of shit!
_

_
_

It’s lunch time, all I’m thinking about is my

bed and Miyalo. I feel tired, and sleepy, and

the only place I want to sleep on, is Miyalo’s

arms. I think I may have been harsh on him

earlier today and I don’t know what it is that

I’ll so to apologise.

Today has been hectic, there’s a woman

that came out crying, she had a cute little

boy in her arms, he looked so lost, but the

sadness on his face was not missed. Tears

were gushing from her eyes even though

she wasn’t making any sound. It hurt me,
but I couldn’t do anything because I didn’t

want to seem nosy.

When I say today’s day was long I mean

just that, Thembekile didn’t was no where

to be found. I kept on getting abdominal

pains, but I wasn’t paying much attention to

it because they were just cramps, maybe.

_

_
NONTOBEKO SIBEKO

I would walk if my feet were allowing me

to.
How can a person suffer so much at once?

The results came back, I hoped for good

news, but I got bad news instead and you

know what shocked me? The fact that I

was shocked. I know how unfortunate I am,

but I keep on expecting good things to

happen to me, does that make sense?

It’s been confirmed that my son has a brain

tumor, they explained everything, but I

didn’t catch it because I was still stuck on

the brain tumor issue, I didn’t even know

that a child can have cancer. Yes the tumor

in my baby's brain is cancerous, it could kill

him.

“Mama, why are you crying like Malume,”

he grew up so fast, he was the one to take

his steps early, I should have known that he

would be the one that would have the
chances of dying.

“Something got into my eye,” I say, he

wipes my tears with his thumb, I smile

through my tears.
“I promise you I will do whatever I can in

my power to make sure you are okay,” I

whisper in his ears, I’m wondering when

this taxi will be full, I need to get home and

sleep today’s bad news off.

I’ll give God my last hope, I’ll pray that my

baby's cancer gets cured because I don’t

think I’ll he able to take it, I’d die if one of

them dies!

.
.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

CHAPTER 26

HLANGANANI NTSHANGASE

Irregular beep of the machines is what jolts

him up. The first thing he does before

calling the nurses, they tell him that he

shouldn’t be alarmed it was just a regain if

his normal heartbeat. He sighs and lets his

guard down a little.

He sighs, he spent more than two days

here now, there were times where he was
forced to bath and change by Sthelo, but he
kept it as quick as possible, he hasn’t eaten

nor drank anything. Sthelo is the only one

that has been checking up on him, Miyalo

just went MIA, he has his own life so it’s

okay.

“I know what I did was wrong Othandiwe,

whether you are my son or not, I shouldn’t

have pulled a trigger on you. It will forever

haunt me. The scar will forever remain and

remind me of what I did,I killed you, you

just survived. I’m not proud, and I am sorry,

those words will never be enough, I know;

but I want you to know that I am sorry, from

the bottom of my heart.” They say that

people that lie in hospitals mostly hear

what the next person is saying.

He takes his hand in his, tears gush down

his face, what in the fucking world led to

him shooting a child? It’s time to be a man

about this, he needs to stop being a

coward and turn himself in to the police,

this is what he would want any other

person to do. He remembers that he made

a promise to Nontobeko's son, he promised

to take him out, he cusses under his

breath.
A three year old with a brain of a 5 year old,

crazy! He adores that boy, there’s just

something special about him, the way he
speaks draws one in, he is clever, so clever

and funny. He needs to do at least that

before he turns himself in.

He’s sent people out to look for Miyalo’s

maternal home, so that’s not much of a

problem, it doesn’t need him here,

physically. He brushes the top of his son’s

hand and attempts to walk out until he

feels his hand being squeezed, he freezes.

“Baba,” a strained voice says, it’s followed

by a cough. His chest closes in, but hearing

the word 'baba' instead of 'Nduna' melts his

heart. “Where are you going?” he would be

giving him water, but he isn’t risking this.
He turns and looks at his son, his eyes are

still closed.

“I’m sorry,” Hlanganani says, his eyes are

filled with tears.

“I heard you the first time, I’m glad I got

your attention, I just didn’t think you’d shoot

me,” his heart sinks, so he stole money to

get his attention? He should have just

confronted him.
“You knew all along and still called me

boss,” Hlanganani says and takes a seat,

he buries his head in his hands, he is

frustrated. He opens his eyes.

“I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t! Even

when you told me about your father and the

difference in our situations, I wanted to tell
you that there was no difference, we are

the same blood, but I just couldn’t,” wasn’t

this boy unconscious not so long ago? His

voice sounds scratchy but he is audible!

“Where’s your mother?” he asks.

“She died,” how can he say something like

this so casually? “She was killed by my

abusive stepfather,” he shrugs and

chuckles. Othandiwe's face portrays no

emotions.
“Do you want me here?” Hlanganani

changes the subject.

“Yeah, I hope you don’t have any weapon

with you,” shame clouds his face, he

shouldn’t have pulled the trigger; but again
would he have known that this is his son if

he hadn’t?
_

_
They say that Othandiwe has been awake

since from yesterday, he was just asleep,

he wanted to ask why they didn’t let him

know, but he didn’t, there’s just a lot going

on in his mind, maybe he should just let

some things be.

“I need you to be honest with me, Sabelo,

do you hate me?”

“You almost killed me,” it hurts, he just

wishes to rip his heart off his body, just for
a moment he wishes to be emotionless.

“Can I call uncle Sthelo to chill with you a

little!” Sabelo nods and closes his eyes. He

is so different. He calls him baba, but he

puts no emotions to that word. It’s clear

that he hates him.

_

_
“Are you okay?” Sthelo asks.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, there’s still nothing from

Miyalo?” this is so unlike Miyalo, he is

ghosting them. Sthelo shakes his head no.

“Alright, I’ll check him, please take care of

Othandiwe for now,” he doesn’t wait for

Sthelo's response, he touches off.
More than anything he is worried about his

brother, that’s why he is driving like a

maniac, he can’t wait to get to Rockville, he

just needs to know whether he is okay or

not.

But he saw Nelly, today was Nelly’s first day

at work after coming back from KZN, she

would have said something if there was

something wrong right?

After a 30 minutes drive, Hlanganani gets

of his car and runs off to Miyalo’s house, he

doesn’t knock, he just kicks the door open.

His eyes land on Miyalo who is on the floor,

eyes wide open, there’s no movement from
him, Nelly is crying, begging him to open

his eyes.
“Nelisile, what happened,” he is on the

verge of tears.

“When I got here, he was already on the

floor,” she’s sobbing.

“Please get me a wet towel,” if there’s a

man that’s cursed in this world, it’s him. He

doesn’t get to deal with one thing at a time.

He doesn’t even know why he is asking for

a wet towel.

Like his son’s condition is his fault, this too

is his fault, he shouldn’t have allowed

Miyalo to come to Johannesburg. He knew
that Miyalo had to stay there but he called
and bombarded him with his problems.

Nelisile gets up, he freezes when he sees

that she’s drenched in blood.

“Nelisile, what’s wrong?” At this point he

doesn’t care about the standards of a man

that is set by society, he lets his tears fall, if

anything happens to Nelisile, Miyalo will

not be okay, maybe he too will be blamed.

“Blood,” it’s only now that she is realizing. “I

must have hurt myself,” she lies.

“Go to the car, I’ll come with Miyalo, we are

going to the hospital,” Hlanganani says

wiping his tears. He needs to keep himself

collected.
.

PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 27

NELISILE MAGWAZA

God probably thinjs that I have a heart of

steel, or maybe I’m not his favorite being. I

know that I don’t go to church, I have my

own reasons for that, but I pray, he knows

very well that I pray and believe in him.

I'm so tired, you know, at some point I am

bound to be tired.
There were signs of me being pregnant, I
mean it’s been months since I haven’t been

getting my periods, I didn’t pay attention to

that because there were too many things in

my mind, I had just lost Bongani, and then

Miyalo came into the picture, while I was

still looking and focusing on him, he had

his episodes, a ND then we dated, there

has been a lot that’s been going on in my

life, as if everything I went through was not

enough, I just found out that I was pregnant

and I lost my baby before I could know that

I had one. I was three months pregnant.

They have dilated my cervix and removed

every tissue that had remained, they said it
would take time for me to heal. Am I ever

gonna heal? I don’t know. The last thing

that linked me to Bongani was taken away

from.
We weren’t taken to Ukuphila clinic today,

we are in Netcare Rosebank Hospital, bhut’

Hlanganani has been checking both me

and Miyalo, they say he hasn’t woken up.

I’m sad for him more than I am for myself, I

wonder how being him feels like.

“Nelly,” he is awake? I look at him and smile

at him. I’ve been crying, I’m still crying,

hearing his voice soothes me somehow. “I

heard, sorry,” I don’t know what happened

to the way he speaks, it sounds as if
getting words from his mouth is hard, his

eyes confirm his sincerity.

“It’s okay, come in,” I say. He nods and

closes the door.

“Ubu, ubuwazi?” (Did you know?) He

stutters, I’m not sure what’s happening to

the way he delivers his speech. It’s just

weird.

“No, I would have told you,” really, I would

have. I didn’t know that I had something, a

child growing in me. Thinking about it

brings fresh tears to my face, this feels

terrible!
“I’m so sorry sthandwa sami,

ngiyakuthanda yezwa yini? Ngikhona and

ngiyohlezi ngikhona Mehlo wam,” (I love
you, I’m here and I’ll always be here for you

my big eyed girl) I feel those words and I

feel like he is not lying, he will always be

there for me.

“I love you too, and thank you,” in such a

short space of time, I feel so strongly about

someone?

“You just said you love me Snqandamathe

Sami,” (my love) he kisses my forehead. He

gets into the hospital for with me, he

cuddles me. I don’t want him to leave, but

bhut’ Hlanganani explained that he needs

to go home as soon as he wakes up. Even
though I don’t want him to go, I know that
he needs to go to live.

“I do, I love you,” I repeat, he looks at and

smiles, his hear reaches his eyes, and then

he puts his head on my chest, he is such a

baby– a baby, he reminds me of the one I

just lost.
_

_
_

MIYALO NTSHANGASE

His heart is aching.

He left her in pain, but he left her in the

hands of his brother, his brother will not be

able to ease her pain, but he will make sure
that she doesn’t do anything stupid.

Seeing his brother look so lifeless hurt him

too, Hlanganani may be a hard person to be

around but he has his good days, and he

cares for everyone around him, that should

count for something right? He doesn’t

deserve anything he said he deserved, it

was just anger speaking on his behalf the

other day. He never meant any of those

words.

He just got home after a six hour drive, yep

he was with Zein today so it took longer, if

it was Hlanganani that was driving it would

have taken lesser than six hours.
He goes straight to his room, he needs a

shower. He’ll see his mother tomorrow

morning.

After taking a shower and drying his body,

he wraps a towel around his body, he

doesn’t feel like sleeping here today, at all,

he’ll sleep in his alter today. When he gets

to back to his room he notices a plate

place on the pedestal. His mother has seen

that he is here. Now he feels bad for not

going to greet her.

He doesn’t feel hungry, so he leaves it there

after getting on his boxers and heads to

Miyalo’s alter, no his alter.

_
~

“Ya mfana,” (boy) it’s the man he saw last

time, he is still in his herd-boy clothes, the

only difference is the setting, they are in a

different place.

“Baba,” Miyalo says and sits down.

“Let me tell you something about suffering,

I see you think that you are suffering. I am

a son to Dorina and Johnson Ntshangase.

My mother had my brother 10 years before

I was born, the boy was called Bhekizizwe.

When my mother got pregnant with me she

gave birth to me, she was said to have

cheated on your great- grandfather

because I didn’t look like anyone from your

family, just like you don’t. They chased us

away from her marital home with a 2 year

old me, her home was miles away from her

marital home. She walked with me on her

back, all she had with her was water, she

was chased away from home because of

me. I don’t know why I inherited my

maternal side of the family.They separated

my brother from us, even after death I hate

your family. I grew up eating from the bins

with my mother and got a sickness, I would

vigorously shake, but mom would do

anything to make sure that I lived, I had a

hard life Mfanakithi. When I turned 18 I

went back searching for home, because

mom had died but guess what? They didn’t
recognize me, I decided not to tell them the

truth about me. I would love to narrate

everything to you but it’s too long, all I need

you to do is to pay inhlawulo because and

apologize to my mother’s spirit, introduce

me to them, so that I can rest because I’m

being fought for and being rejected, look at

yourself in the mirror, all your answers

about my roots is there…”

He is sweating when he jolts awake! When

the hell did he fall asleep? He takes in a

breath, he needs to remember his dream!

It's crucial.
He cracks his brain trying to remember
what Miyalo said to him, he remembers

that he was instructed to look at himself in

the mirror, all his questions will be

answered.
He gets up and checks the time, it’s still

2am, he jogs to his room, and puts on the

light. He stands opposite the mirror and

looks at himself.
His mother! That man had his features,

does this mean that Miyalo is related to his

mother? This is fucking bullshit!

.
.
#unedited

PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

CHAPTER 28

***Sponsored by Senamile Madlala***

HLANGANANI NTSHANGASE

It can’t be true! He is in denial? Maybe. But

everything that has to do with Miyalo

points to his mother’s side of the family.

How is it possible for Miyalo to be his

mother’s sister but be a grandfather to

them? Uncle-grandfather, what in the

fucking hell? His head is spinning as he

reads all the documents sent to him by
Zein. He needs to go home this weekend,

or tomorrow, or maybe call Miyalo over

because he can’t leave Nelisile alone. His

son is not a problem, they can leave

together, Nelisile is due for work next week,

and this that needs to be done might take

longer than a week, he sighs.

“Baba, what’s wrong?” he almost smiles,

but his heart is too heavy so he gives a

smirk instead.
“Nothing much, it’s just that your uncle has

been facing a lot of shit, I’ve just gotten a

'solution' but it doesn’t solve anything, it

just confused him.

“Okay, I hope it gets better,” he says he

hopes, but there is no hope in his eyes, he

is blank. Today Sabelo is being discharged,

there is not much that needs to be done,

his head just needs to heal. He asked for a

beanie. He wears it all the fucking time.

“How long has it been since your mother

died?” Hlanganani touches on a sensitive

topic for Sabelo.

“5 years,” his heart sinks, Sabelo is turning

20 this year, so that means that he was

alone since he was 15 years old.

“You’ve been alone all since five years?” He

nods, and sighs. Hlanganani has been told

that getting any kind of emotions displayed

on Sabelo’s face will be close to being
impossible, but he still wants him to

display his emotions.

“Yeah, I have a headache,” he is random

too. He sighs and tells him that he’ll get the

doctor– Sthelo– to officially discharge him

because he has already signed the forms.

“Bafo Mina lomfana uyangithusa,” (this boy

scares me) Hlanganani says before sighing

and taking a seat next to Sthelo. “He has

just woken up from a coma or whatever it

is that you call it, but he is already yapping

and having a cold heart,” he continues to

complain. Sthelo bursts out laughing.

“Do you have a heart wena?” Sthelo asks,
Hlanganani doesn’t answer the question

that’s being asked. If there’s anyone that

has a heart amongst them, it’s him. He just

tries by all means not to expect things from

people and they misinterpret it, they say

he’s just being cold; but in all honesty, if you

reduce your expectations to zero, you are

less likely to get hurt. “I thought as much, if

you had a heart you wouldn’t have shot

him,” Sthelo says.

“It’s been our rule from day one to kill

anyone that betrays us, it’s better to have

an enemy from the outside than to have an

enemy that is close to you, I honestly didn’t
plan on killing him, but I shot him, and I
regretted it before even knowing that he

was my son, it’s funny how you are quick to

use one mistake against me, yet I never do

that, you both go out fuck up and I’m

always there to help you up, I never drag

you. You guys are certain and sure that you

a someone, and that’s me, but who do I

have? Absolutely no one!” he sighs and

gets up, not so long ago it was Miyalo

telling him that he didn’t deserve to live,

and this one here too is dragging him down

because what? He can?

_
_
He opted to go to Thembekile, she helped

and gave Sabelo crutches. Sabelo can’t

really walk for a long time on his own

because his head is too light, so crutches

give him a support system.

Sabelo keeps looking around, he is

appreciating the beauty of this house. It’s

dimmed and dark, but lively as well. It’s a

total opposite of his personality, his

father’s personality.
“You have isthabathaba somuzi,” (you have

a big house,) Sabelo says. Sometimes he

wants to hate his father, it’s impossible.

The guy didn’t know he had a son, and he

proves to him that had he had known, he
would be a father that he is now, it’s just

unfortunate that he had to be shot in the

process, he understands though because

no man takes betrayal well.

“It’s your home,” Hlanganani says and locks

the door. He lives in Naturena, a place he

never thought he would live. Naturena is a

place where if a dog from next door barks

loudly, you can simply call the police on

them. There’s law, even though not

everyone abides to it, but at least most of

them do. When Hlanganani arrived here in

Johannesburg from the Bhundus he was

introduced to Soweto, Orlando to be

precise. That place was dangerous at that

time, you fuck up, a mob comes after you,

people used to steal cables, he was once

recruited to steal cables, but he was too

young and that was very dangerous.

“I don’t want to be in Johannesburg, I want

to go home, eMbumbulu.” Says Sabelo, a

smile tries to creep up on Hlanganani’s

face, but he fights it.

“Too bad my boy because you are going

back to school, come-on sit down I’ll make

something for you to eat,” we get food is he

gonna prepare if he can’t even boil an egg?

After 5 failed attempts of making

scrambled eggs, he sighs and outs his

phone, he scrolls down to his contacts, his

eyes land on 'Sbutubutu' he cracks a small
smile, and taps on the call icon, it rings.

“Hello?” her voice makes him clear his

throat, it’s sweet and soothing.

“Ntobe? How are you,” his sounds like a

screeching tire, God could have made it

better, but he is not God’s favorite.

“I’m good, who’s this,” his heart races, she

sounds cold, what if she turns him down?

All he wants is to have Thando over for

dinner, he knows he promised him

breakfast but dinner is good as a starter

right?
“It’s Hlanganani, bengicela ukuboleka

oThando bakho?,” (can I borrow both your

Thandos) Thando told him that he had a
brother that is his age.

“Today?” her voice tells him that she is

skeptical about giving him her sons, he

knows that she’s right, but he won’t hurt

them.

“Yes, today, you can come too if you don’t

trust me to take good care if them,” he says

and chuckles lowly.

“No, it’s fine, you can come fetch them,” she

says, she needs to rest a bit, and

Hlanganani is not harmful,not so she

thinks. Either way, he is close to Senzo, he

wouldn’t dare try anything to hurt his friend,

right? He thanks her before hanging up and
sighing. He can’t cook but he’s invited
children for dinner, who the hell does he

think he is? Santa clause?

If Nelly wasn’t locked up in her room and

dealing with miscarrying, he would

honestly ask her to cook something. Miyalo

found a girlfriend in her, and he found a

little sister he has never had. She’s the only

thing close to ‘sane’ and ‘pure’ they have,

even though she’s forever yapping and

having crazy remarks about everything. He

sighs, this is a tough time for her, they need

to give her space but at the same time they

need to keep and eye on her.

He goes back to the TV room, Nelisile is

sitting with Sabelo, they are watching TV,

they seem interested in watching old ladies

in nun uniforms, he won’t watch that shit,

but he is glad that this managed to get

Nelly out of her room.

“Where is the food you promised to cook

for us?” Nelisile asks, he sighs and throws

his weight on the couch.

“I can’t cook,” he says.

“What did I say?” Nelisile asks Sabelo

laughing, Sabelo shakes his head with a

grin– not a smile.

_
_
MIYALO NTSHANGASE

He feels like he fucked his relationship with

a person who cared a lot about him. He

said things he shouldn’t have said, and his

brother’s response was just a flat 'I'm

sorry'.

He sighs before he walks out of his room.

He’s taken a bath, and now he is hungry.

The food that he had left in the pedestal

yesterday is nowhere to be found.

His mother must have felt bad when she

saw that his food was untouched.

“Wemama!” he yells out for his mother.

“In the kitchen!” she yells back. He walks to

the kitchen.
“You didn’t say that you were coming back,”
she says with a smile. He chuckles, he’s

already in court.
“Bhuti commanded me to come back, it

was unplanned,” he says and sits down

next to her. Their shoulders touch, he

quickly shifts, they have never been this

close before.

“You hate me don’t you?” how could that

even cross her mind? She should be put to

jail for thinking that.

“I would never hate you,” he says not

turning to meet her gaze, she’s staring at

him, her stare is intense.
“I’m sorry for what I put you through,” she
says.

“You were never at fault, there’s nothing to

be sorry about, ma. We will be okay, maybe

not today but some day, because I love

you,” he says and she smiles, it’s really

heart warming to hear him say those three

words.

“I’m hungry, I’ll cook.” He says and gets up,

but he quickly sits down again, “mama,

Miyalo was my grandfather?” this shit is

really confusing him.

“I really don’t know, I was never told

anything about him, they just ordered me to

do things without any understanding.” He
nods and gets up, he will prepare
something that’s quick, he wants to speak

with Nelisile, he kisses her and he hasn’t

checked her since yesterday. Knowing her,

she probably is mad.

_
_

_
THEMBEKILE ZUNGU

She’s had enough drinks to make her think

that she’s ready for whatever he’ll decide.

She’s in a black coat and long pencil heels,

underneath her cost is nothing but a black

lacy lingerie, her braids are not tied up.

The plan for today is not to get laid, but to

blow his brains away, or is it blow his dick

away?

It’s a bit late when she gets to the Clinic.

She checked his schedule, today he is just

doing rounds and checking paperwork, he

doesn’t have any patients.

She gets off the car and walks inside, she

finds her way to his office door and knocks

twice. She doesn’t wait for his response,

she opens the door and gets in, her hand

stays on the door handle, he has his eye

glasses on, he has confusion clouding his

face, she closes and locks the door.
“Dr Bhembe,” she says and catwalks to him

while unzipping her coat and gets off it.

“What-what are you do-doing?” he stutters

blinking twice. She throws her coat on the

floor and stands at the back of his chair,

she swivels him. He swallows. “Wenzani

Thembekile?” (what are you doing

Thembekile?) He is barely audible.

“Shhhhh,” she places her forefinger on his

lips, and bites her lower lip.

She traces her hand down his chest. She

unbuckles his belt and orders him to get up

from the chair. He abides. She pushes his

pants down with his boxers. His cock pops
up, it’s a shade darker than him, thick and

veiny. Sthelo is light skinned.

She licks his tip, he hisses. He isn’t trying to

stop her. She stares right into his eyes, she

slides the tip of her tongue on to his tip so

that he can barely feel it. His cock is

getting harder and harder, it’s twitching.

She removes her tongue when she feels a

liquid, it’s pre-cum. She licks it off with her

tongue.

“What are you doing Thembekile?” he asks

taking her braids into his hands. She opens

her mouth and welcomes only his head in

her mouth. She sucks it, making sure not to

use her teeth, he moans, tightening his grip

on her braids. She opens her mouth wider
and takes half of his length in her mouth,

her hand keeps playing with his balls.

“shhh,” he hisses through the corners of his

mouth, he starts moving and fucking her

mouth. She tightly grips his torso to keep

him still and deep throats him, he loses his

brains.

“Ohh fuck wait,” she doesn’t, she goggles at

him. “Ohh shit, I’m 'onna cum,” he fucks her

mouth, with every second his movements

become faster and harder, he spills his

contents in her mouth and releases a deep

groan, he falls to his chair and closes his

eyes. She swallows, and gets a tissue, she

wipes his penis that’s softer than a sun-
burnt banana.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

CHAPTER 29

***Sponsored by Anonymous***

STHELO BHEMBE

His feet still have a tickly sensation. His

toes are still fighting to be freed off the

shoes and socks that are restricting them,

he feels so satisfied.
This is exactly what he needed after the

long day he had, everything Hlanganani

said was hundred percent correct. They

might have never shot someone– him and

Miyalo– but it’s true that Hlanganani

always came through for them, like the

time his ex-wife wanted to take everything

from him because they hadn’t signed a

prenuptial agreement before getting

married. Getting married in community of

property was his nightmare, she fucked

him over and threatened to take everything

he had, that was his hardest time ever, he
would drink lots and lots of alcohol, he’s

stopped now and he hates alcohol with

every fiber of his being.

Hlanganani was quiet all along, he let her

threaten and threaten. He had no time to

threatdn, when the time for them to appear

in court, Realeboga was nowhere to be

found, it was really shocking everyone was

sure that she would come and they would

sign 50 percent of his things over to her,

but she didn’t come.

He found out 2 months later that

Hlanganani went psych on her, he went all

'somatekisi wase Soweto' (Soweto’s taxi

driver) on her. Till today Her and Rea have

never crossed paths, she’s moved away

from Gauteng, he will forever be grateful

for that. Hlanganani is blessing to them,

they are arse holes!

After everything Hlanganani has done for

them, they thank him with a are full of shit?

They are the first to throw whatever

weapon at him because he did what any

man would have done if he was stolen

from? He wants to apologise, but first he

needs to deal with this blabbermouth here.

He opens his eyes, and finds her staring at

him, she has a smile on her face, a smile of

victory. Embarrassment flashes through his

eyes, he blinks thrice in attempt to wipe it

off his face. Thembekile has no secret, he
will be the talk in the clinic, 'Dr Sthelo the

easy target'. She doesn’t hide anything.

“You’ve woken up from your sleep Mr

Bhembe?” How all this happened is beyond

him. He is still trying to crack his brain as

to how and why she did all she did. She

doesn’t like him, so how can she suck him

like he is the best thing that has happened

to her?

“I’m awake,” he says keeping his voice as

neutral as he can. If it was him that got a

pussy easily from a girl, that girl would be

called an easy target, does that mean that

he is also an easy target, someone who

easily gives over his dick? Fucking God he
is so embarrassed. “What’s gotten into

you?” he asks testing his back against the

chair, “you also wanted a taste of what my

PA– Sandra– is getting?” He smirks and

gets off his chair, he quickly dresses up. He

is not having any sexual activities with

Sandra. He heard though that it’s what

Thembekile has been spreading.

“Lutho, I just wanted you to have a taste of

what being blown by ibhoza feels like,” (not

at all,) she smirks and crosses her legs. “If

you were calling out my clan names and

speaking in tongues, it means I was better

than anyone you’ve ever shagged, am I
wrong?” she looks around, wine is what she
needs. “No, actually, my mouth was better

than any person you’ve shagged” she says.

“Why are you here?” he asks sitting back

down, he is really annoyed. If she got any

kind of penetration and came, he would say

that she used him, but it’s him that got

pleasure.
“Do you want me gone?” her tone has

changed too, it’s like there is something

that she’s realizing, maybe she is regretting

blowing him?
“No, I just– I just want us to forget about

this, I want you to forget that it ever

happened,” he says, it stings. So this is how
every person she’s ever told this to feel

like? If yes then it hurts. Her face is kept

neutral.

“It could never happen again, let alone

anyone hearing that it ever happened,” she

says and walks over to pick her coat up. He

swallows hard, so it means that she

doesn’t feel him?

“You are leaving?” He speaks him mind, he

almost sends a also to his mouth.

“Yes, I need to sleep, I’m working

tomorrow” She says and smiles, he checks

the time, it’s only 7pm, he nods his head,

and says nothing. When she bangs the

door, he buries his head in his hands what
the fuck did he do? Their working

relationship will never be the same.

_

_
_

NONTOBEKO SIBEKO

I received a call earlier, he asked for the

boys. I don’t know how he knew about

Thandoluhle, but he said he wanted both

my Thandos. I’ve bathed them,

Thandolwam is super happy, he says he’ll

introduce his brother to Malume that cries,

I just laughed. Thandoluhle is… not so

happy, he is never happy anyways. He is

slow too, Thandolwam is a 'try and fail'

person, Thandoluhle never tries to do

something until he’s certain that it will be

perfect when he finally does it. Like

walking, it took so long for him to walk, but

when he did he never stumbled, je doesn’t

say a lot even now, all he does is nod his

head and shake his head no, 'mama and

Senzo' are the only things he utters, I have

learnt to accept that.

“Gazi, ziyaphi lengane,” (where are the

children going?) he changed, his

personality and everything in him changed

the day I told him that Thandolwam was

really sick. He didn’t really say anything, all

he did was now his head and she’d tears,
he told me that he’d work harder until they
afford surgery, and this is actually the first

day he’s coming early from work.

“Your boss asked them over,” I tell him, it’s

actually late now, I don’t think they will still

make it. He eyes me and shakes his head.

“What links you to him?” he asks and opens

the cupboard.

“Nothing links me to him, he asked for abo

Thando, that’s all.” I say and roll my eyes,

what would link a person like me to a

person like Hlanganani though?

_
_

_
It’s now 6pm, I’m in my pajamas, I’m
watching TV, Thandoluhle is falling asleep

on the couch, Thandolwam is wide awake,

he is waiting for 'malume' to fetch him, I

don’t want to be the one that’s going to

disappoint him, but I have to break the

news to him, it’s late now and I don’t think

that Hlanganani is still coming.

“Mama, call Malume,” he says and jumps

on the couch, I would be shouting at him

right now, but since I heard of his condition

I can’t, I know I will feel bad after that.

“He called baby and he told me that…” my

ringtone disturbs me, I take my phone, and

the caller is Malume, he is probably calling
to let me know that something held him

and he won’t make it.

“Hello?” I say.

“I’m parked at the corner,” is what he says.

“It’s late now,” I say after sighing.

“I know, they will spend the night, you will

too. I’ll be waiting,” he hangs up. If I wasn’t

depending on my Sassa money, I would be

smashing my phone line rich people do

after they get frustrated by someone who

just called.

I think of not going, but again, Thandi here

is asking a lot of questions about the

person who just called me.
“Gazi, we will be back tomorrow,” I say and

peep through his door, I don’t have any

clothes with me, it’s only a bag that has our

cosmetics.
“Condomise my sister, and tell him that 4of

your children were taken by social workers

because you couldn’t handle the stress if

losing your husband,” he says, what is he

on about?

“I’m not dating your boss,” he laughs out

loud and says okay.

_
_

_
“Hey,” I had to carry Thandoluhle because

he was already asleep, Thandolwam

walked on his own, he is too excited,

immediately when he saw Hlanganani he

ran and hugged him, Hlanganani was just

as happy as he was, I’m so glad that he

gives off the same energy. He put the boys

inside the car and now we are standing

awkwardly outside, it’s chilly and dark, I

can’t see him clearly because he is dark as

well, the street lights are helping though.

“Unjan?” (how are you?) He asks me, I

shrug and give him a small smile.

“I’m okay,” he nods and opens the

passenger door for me, I get in.

Thandolwam is fast asleep next to
Thandoluhle, I want to tell him that he

should take us back, my children have

already eaten and it’s past their bed time,

but Thandolwam will probably wake up as

soon as we get home and demand that I

take him back to Malume. I sigh. The car is

filled with heavy silence, no one is saying

anything to anyone, it’s just… quiet and

lonely.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 30

***Sponsored by Anonymous***

NONTOBEKO SIBEKO

He is actually a talkative person, you never

really get bored with him. He told me about

Nelisile, his brother’s girlfriend, and his son

that he just found out about, and I told

him… nothing.

Nelisile is a nice girl, she’s just a bubbly

person and she’s fun to be around, I just

love her. Othandiwe, whom Hlanganani

said was Sabelo by the way, looks like a

lost soul, actually a sad soul, I can’t get my

finger around it. He said that he was the
one that cooked, it earned him a dirty look
from Hlanganani, I just laughed it off

actually, because well, Hlanganani told me

that he cooked.

“Ma, I heard that you are chef, can you

please come with me and help me dish,”

dear Lord, I’m in pajamas, I get up and

follow him. I’m basically the one who’s here

for lunch because after getting her the

twins were put to bed.

“Can you please taste my chicken stew, he

says,” chicken stew is one of the easiest

dishes, I take the spoon and blow to cool

the stew down before I taste it, it’s actually

nice, every spice he put is leveled, actually

the only problem here is the appearance!

“It tastes great,” I say, this time he smiles,

like really smile.

“Thank you, ma, you can go I’ll dish up,”

well there’s nothing interesting in the dining

room so I offer to help him. He’s actually

talkative, it’s just that I can’t really tell that

his laugh is genuine because his face

always remains blank.

“Dinner is served,” He yells out. We are

already sitting down. Nelisile and

Hlanganani appear with twins, God they

woke them up.

_
_

I haven’t been shown off to the bedroom

that I’ll be using with my boys, well

Othandiwe said that he’ll sleep with the

both of them, it’s only Hlanganani and I left

in the dining room, I’m actually playing with

my fingers, there’s nothing else to do.

“I thought you wanted to have the twins

over for dinner,” this is actually not making

sense, why would he even want to have

them over for dinner?

“Yeah, don’t you feel hot in here? Come-on

outside, it’s really hot in here,” before I can

even tell him that I’m actually getting cold

and I want to sleep, he already has my

hand in his, we are not walking towards the

door actually, we are walking towards a

bedroom! I hold in my breath, God how

many more women should be taken

advantage of? Thank God we pass the bed,

he is taking me to the balcony! I release a

sigh of relief.
The view is beautiful, only because I can

see stars, houses that have fairy lights

outside them are beautiful too from here,

the fresh breeze that hits my face is to die

for. This actually feels like the first time I

feel fresh air. I put my forearms forward, I

place them on the glass. I let the air hit my

face.
I feel cold, not too cold, I love the air that’s
hitting me. It almost feels therapeutic, like

it’s washing every sin and every sadness in

me, although I can’t really pin down how

and what I feel.

“Sbutubutu,” I almost jump over, I had

forgotten about him. “Why are you crying?”

I’m crying? Goddamnit! His perfume that’s

mixed with a faint nicotine scent fills my

nose.

“I’m not crying, bhuti” I say, and sniff back

“the wind just got too much for my eyes,” I

continue to lie.
“Alright, you know I’ve been wanting to see

and talk to you for years now,”he says, talk

to me about what? “You had a boyfriend
then, and I kept on asking your brother

about you, he said you had six children,” he

chuckles, he is standing behind me and I

feel him getting closer and closer. 6

children and me in one sentence, it can’t

be!
“That’s ridiculous,” I say, and chuckle lightly.

He touches my shoulder, and for a moment

I freeze. He turns me, it’s unexpected. My

eyes land on his chest.

“I know,” he says, his breathing hitting my

forehead, I snap my head up, he is looking

down on me, with a lopsided smile. I move

backwards, so that there’s social distance
between us. “I remember the first time

seeing you, there was a braai at the rank, it

was 5 years ago, I couldn’t take my eyes off

you, Senzo lied and said you were his

girlfriend, but he flopped and called you his

sister in my presence, I didn’t know what it

was then, but I know what it is now, do you

want to know?” I don’t know who the devil's

agent that’s making my head nod is, bit

they should pray that I don’t find them, “it’s

love,” he says and closes the distance

between us. I think of moving backwards

again, but I don’t dare, what if I fall? “I love

you Ntobe,” he links his forehead to mine, I

don’t know what to make up of this.
“I have 2 children, and I have issues,” this is

the only thing that can come out of my

mouth? I could have just told him that I

don’t feel the same way about him, or I

could have just told him to remove his

forehead from mine. Before I know it, his

lips are brushing mine, his lips are warm.

_
_

_
NELISILE MAGWAZA

“Baby,” I couldn’t wait until I saw him. When

I was alone with Sabelo he told me that he

was shot by his father, I couldn’t believe it

until he told me the reason, now to be

honest I don’t blame bhut’ Hlanganani, but I

feel for Sabelo, his relationship with his

father will probably be a cold one, until

eternity.
“Miyalo, when last did you speak to your

brother?” I hear him sighing before I hear

movements.
“Before leaving Johannesburg,” he says,

like it’s a normal thing. I don’t really know a

lot about them, but I can definitely tell that

their relationship has somehow evolved.

“Please call him, babe, he doesn’t look

okay,” besides the fact that Nonto and the

twins came and lifted his mood, he was
really not okay, and I think that will continue
after Nontobeko leaves.

“I will do so, you called me babe,” he says, I

giggle.

“Are you not my babe?” I ask.

“I am Sthandwa Sami, I miss you,” he says.

I miss him more, I can’t actually believe

that I once thought that he was scary, okay
he still is and he is still very much creepy,

but I know a crazy and a fun version of him.

“That’s nice,” I say and muffle my giggle.
“Hawu!” he exclaims, “Awungkhumbuli yin
wena mama?” (don’t you miss me?)

“Anyways, Mina I miss being buried feel

inside you,” well we only had one sexual
encounter, and I enjoyed it honestly, but I’m

not making any comment on that.

“I will be there by Friday babe with your
brother, you just have to make sure that you
have money to get me back here,” I tell him,

he chuckles.
“Do you call that Money?” his bragging side
is coming to play! “It will be hard not to
touch you because your body is still

making adjustments, after losing… you

know. How are you holding up vele
Sthandwa Sami?” he asks.

“Being around people helps a lot, especially

because I’m around Sabelo that is a clown,”
that boy czn tell a joke with a straight face.
Hey I almost forgot something very

important, the main reason for this phone

call, “yoh babe, I have news, I can’t wait for
Friday!” I say.

“Woza nazo babe,” (tell me,) I laugh.

“I said I’ll tell you on Friday. Tomorrow I am
going to work babe, ulale kahle,” (sleep
well)

“Ungaboyiqala indaba ungeke yidqedele

have a good niget, and dream of me,” (don’t
start something you know you won’t finish)
I giggle before hanging up.

I’m really thankful that he stole his

brother’s taxi driver, if he hadn’t I wouldn’t
have met him. And I hate to admit it that I
love him more than I ever loved Bongani,
but that doesn’t mean that I don’t miss
Bongani sometimes. My hands go to my
belly and I brush it, my baby couldn’t for me

to even know him or her, I would have loved

to have a girl though. Maybe I didn’t
deserve her, or she just wanted to be with
her father, I’m really sad.

I came in early today. I was in the mood to

work, but now that I’ve seen Theh, all the
enthusiasm died out. She looked sad and I

can’t wait for our lunch, and better her

mood before her patients come in. Oh, Dr.
Bhembe is only coming in now? He looks
really disorganized today, although I don’t
know which part of him is disorganized,
maybe his brain! I say his brain because I’m
pissed that he didn’t greet me today.

PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 31

THEMBEKILE ZUNGU

I tried avoiding Nelisile today, but with

Nelisile every thing is impossible, I thought
I would avoid bumping to her but she
bumped into me, actually she came to my
office.
She actually bought me lunch, I’m thankful

for that because I’m really low on cash and

having to pay black tax is hard, don’t get
me wrong, I love providing for my mother
but it gets too much because I’m literally

providing for my mother and my elder

sister who is 32 years old by the way and
her 2 children, I don’t mind helping but she
should also try doing something about her

unemployment issue.
I know my situation that is why I made sure
that I passed at school, and even though I
wanted to be a neurologist, I knew that 13
years is actually a long time so I settled for
being a medical doctor.
I finished my grade 12 at 17, I went to

school and I got my internship after doing

my 6 years of medicine, I’ve done both my
internship and community service.
I’m now a 28 year old qualified medical

doctor, although I do take part in surgeries,

I don’t take charge, there always has to be
a qualified surgeon present.

I’m not complaining much about the black

tax, but I wish they could understand that I
don’t earn a lot of money because I haven’t
gotten to that league of best doctors, I’m

still paving my way through that.

“Girl, you are the definition of womandla,”
this is all funny to her, she doesn’t

understand how embarrassing all this is.

On top of everything we are dealing with as
a country I have to deal with my boss that I
sucked in my right state if mind, I would

really love to blame it on the alcohol but I

know what I was doing. I’ve always liked
him, it just wasn’t mutual and I’m trying by
all means to move on, I’ve even drafted my

resignation letter.
“Mxm, that’s really bad for my image, he
probably chills with his little brothers and
discussing me,”, I’m actually worried, Bhut’

Hlanganani respects me a lot, the reason

why we click so much is that we always
agree on almost the same thing, he mostly

thinks of me as a saint, someone who is

not capable of doing dirty deeds, I wonder
what he is saying now! Miyalo and I are not
best of friends, we are not friends at all, we

have nothing in common, but we get along

just fine, he scares me sometimes!
“It’s life, they should not pretend like they
don’t know these things,” she laughs and

tosses a chip in her mouth. I sigh and put

my forehead on the desk, I’m so fucking
tired and I haven’t seen my first patient of
the day– I’m already feeling down. I have

even lost my appetite. Actually I’m thinking

if a way of handing my resignation letter to
Sthelo, whether I should give it to him

personally or I should just send it as an

email, I’m leaving, I’ve been planning on
leaving for so long. I thought Sthelo and I
would be an item, and that would have

been bad if it happened and we were

colleagues, and him being my boss too
would raise a lot of people’s eyebrows, so I
was applying to other hospitals, I got an

offer at Baragwanath Hospital, I don’t know

if I’ll last but I’ll try it out.
_
_
The day went by so quick, I actually had a
half great day and a half bad day. Nelisile

knows how to lift my mood, honestly. I was

dreading my knockoff time but hey, God is
always against my plans. It’s 6 and my time
to knock-off, I sigh and gather my stuff and

put it in my bag, everything I’m leaving

behind today is the clinic's resources.
I’ve decided to face Sthelo, I can’t keep in

running away from him, I’ll just hand my

resignation letter to him and iron a few
things, I don’t want us to be weird around
each other if our paths ever happen to

cross. I want healthy relationships

I knock on the door, the door opens and I

see Sandra, my heart sinks to my feet, they

probably just had a… you know what I don’t
care.
“Sandra, hi,” I say and give her my fakest

smile ever.
“Hey, I’m on my way out anyways, bye,” she
says, I nod and mover for her, after she’s
left I knock again, he says a low come-in, I

sigh before getting in and closing the door.

With my head held high, and chest out I
walk towards his desk. He has stopped
doing whatever he was doing, his eyes are

boring holes in my skin, if he continues

staring like this, I’ll fall.
“Dr. Bhembe,” I say. He chuckles.

“Dr. Zungu,” he responds.

“I’m here to hand to you my resignation
letter, I’ve gotten an offer at Bara, goodbye,”
this is not the professional way of doing

this, but I don’t care. I put the file on his

desk. “Like you said, I hope that we pretend
as though what I did never happened, I’m
sorry, and I hope there’s no bad blood

between us,” I say and turn on my heels, I

get off his office, I feel dizzy all of a
sudden, bit with my heavy heart I walk to

the escalator, I take in a breath, this is it, I’m

done with Dr. Sthelo and his Clinic, the best
one in the area.
“You didn’t tell me, where will I get a

replacement for you?” I look up, I didn’t

heat him enter this elevator, I sigh and
shrug.

“You will make a plan Dr. Sthelo,” it closes

and pings, when it starts moving he
presses the emergency button, it stops. My
heartbeat stops to. He is coming closer to

me, “why are you suddenly leaving?” what

does he want me to say, “I’m afraid I can’t
let you go, tomorrow you will report to work
or else…” he wants to try me? He’ll see,

tomorrow I’m not reporting to work. “I’ll

keep you here until you agree.” Jesus!
_
_
_
MIYALO NTSHANGASE

He can’t give too much attention to Nelisile

because he is worried about his and his

brother’s relationship. They only exchanged
greetings. He came with Othandiwe, and he

is actually surprised that Othandiwe is this

talkative after the surgery he just had! It’s a
miracle honestly, he noticed that his
nephew is almost a living Zombie, funny

and felt yet so emotionless, it makes him

wonder a lot, but he just won’t say.
It's past dusk, everyone is readying
themselves to go to sleep, well except him
and Hlanganani because they are planning
to drive to Mkhulu Zondiwe, they both have

puzzling answers, they need to ask

questions on the answers they got. That’s
the only thing Hlanganani said to him, it
hurts so much that they don’t talk that is

why he is planning on apologizing.

“I’ll be back a bit late baby,” he says and
kisses a sulking Nelly's forehead.

“Bafo?” he knocks on the car, Hlanganani

unlocks the car and puts life into the
Engine as soon Miyalo gets inside the car,
“I’m sorry for what I said to you bhuti, it
was really wrong of me to curse you,”
“It’s okay Mfanakithi, I don’t hold grudges

against my blood. You know, I’ve found

something really weird. Miyalo is a child to
our great-grandfather yet he is a brother to
our mother,” Miyalo cracks up, this is not

funny because it fucked his whole life up,

but the way Hlanganani says it is just funny
for him.
“Miyslo's mother is our is Gogo's elder

sister” he explains that the age difference

between Miyalo’s mother and their
mother’s mother was huge, that’s why it is
actually mind cracking, they both laugh,
one can never understand the lives of old
people!
_

_
_
They are seated on the mat that’s on the
floor, their knees are up, they have their

chins resting on their chins, by the looks

that Mkhulu keeps on giving them they
know that they are not about to get their
straight answers, instead they are going to

get more confused, sigh!

“I told you clearly that you should pay
damages to your uncle-grandfather's
maternal family,” Miyalo cracks up and
earns a death stare from Mkhulu Zondiwe,
bit this is funny because he wasn’t clear at
all, and it seems like he knew that their

mother was somehow connected to Miyalo

but he said nothing! “Your girlfriend just
lost her baby daddy, and before she even
gets a cleansing ceremony, you are already

sleeping with her? You both killed that child

she was carrying! She is not yours, she will
never be yours,” Miyalo feels like he is

burning in hell, it’s so hot in here, his hands

are getting sweaty and itchy. What does
this old man, close to death, mean when he
says that Nelly is not his?

.
.

PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 32
***Sponsored by Anonymous***

MIYALO NTSHANGASE

He’s never felt like killing someone, well at

least not until today. He’s judged people

who took a life by a gun, that’s why he

doesn’t always have his with him, but
today? Today is different, today is his day
of blood-lusting, and there’s specific blood

he is lusting for– not just any blood.

Killing this man seems like the only that
would save his and Nelisile's relationship,

but again this man here has no agenda to

hurt him whatsoever, he is just a
messenger, they really don’t know each
other. So he probably should wake

oNtshangase and kill them again, because

they are not letting him rest.
Miyalo feels his soul leaving his body, he is
just numb he can’t even ask why Mkhulu

said what he said, he does want to ask but

the words seem too heavy to be uttered,
who wouldn’t want him with Nelisile? Who

is so against his happiness?

“Baba, you must be mistaken, what do you
mean?” Hlanganani asks, confused, this is

not making sense at all, even a child can

see the difference in Miyalo’s eyes when he
is with Nelisile, so what bullshit is this even
about, Miyalo is happy with Nelly, it would

kill Miyalo to see her with another man.

“I said it clear that she is not his, and that
she will never be his, well at least not until

she is cleansed off her boyfriend and

child's spirit,” Miyalo sighs simultaneously
with Hlanganani. This is better.
“How do we go about with her cleansing?”

Hlanganani asks, money is not a problem

to them they can easily sponsor the
cleansing, but some ancestors and families

feel belittled by that, so he is not gonna

propose that.
“She needs to go to the boyfriend's family,
they have to do the cleansing for her, they

need to free her from the boyfriend and

their baby, until then my boy do not be
intimate with her,” Miyalo’s mood has
dropped dismally, he can’t even offer his

usual fake small smile. They nod their

heads.
“Like you will do for your dead Miyalo, you
need to do for your son, otherwise this will

go on as a curse, your grandmother is

angry, she was accused of cheating, if you
don’t fix this and this one happens to die

kuzonuka mfana,” he says and tells them to

go. Now there are two things that need to
be done, but he will attend Miyalo’s

“I need a way of telling her this, I don’t think

she will take it well,” Miyalo says to his
brother on the way home.
“She might be angry, but it all comes down

to one thing at the end of the day, she

needs to know,” he says.
“Yoh.” Miyalo sinks on the car seat. Nelisile
is a good person, she might be crazy but

she’s also understanding, right?

_
_
She is still awake when he gets home, he

strips off his clothes so he is left in his

briefs, he gets into bed and hugs Nelisile
warm body closer to him.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” he asks kissing

the top of his head.
“I was waiting for you to put me to sleep,”
this girl is smooth, smoother with words

than he is. He chuckles.

“You are warm, sondela, I want to tell you
something,” (come closer) he releases a
breath. “Apparently you had to have a

cleansing ceremony after Bongani’s death,”

he says and presses his lip on her temple,
'your boyfriend' doesn’t sound right to him.
“Oh,” that’s all she’s saying? He sighs.
“It’s something that needs to be done vele,
we also had to be cleansed after baba's
death,” he explains.

“Yeah I know babe, I’ll leave ksasa, so I

have to face Bongani’s family?” she sighs,
this is not good, at all. She had thought that
she wouldn’t have to deal with anything

that had to do with them, she’s moved on

from them and everything that had to do
with them, now this?
“Lala Sthandwa Sami,” (sleep my love,) he

says and kisses her forehead. He decided

not to tell her that they are the cause of her
baby's death because it will totally break
her. He feels bad that he or she had to die
because of his involvement with their
mother, it hurt. He closes his teary eyes
and calls for sleep.

_
_
THEMBEKILE ZUNGU

I told him that I would report to work and

he let me go, but guess what, I didn’t. On
Friday I wasn’t at work, he called multiple
times but I just wasn’t up for it.

He wants to have me around, probably

because he wants to have a 'snack,' well,
breaking news, I’m not that girl anymore,
I’m not into these things, I’ve grown over
the weekend and I think I know what I want,
maybe I’m ready for a stable relationship.
It’s probably bizarre that I’m thinking that I

got over my traits in just two days, but I

have had a lot to think about, I’m worth
more than giving blow jobs to my bosses.
Nelisile called and told me that she was

back, she said that there are things she has

to do and that she needs to talk to me, well
kind of like update me, I need to update her
too, I’m having a fresh and new start

tomorrow, that’s why I’m drinking juice!

My phone rings, I don’t recognize the caller

ID but I answer anyways.
“Hello?” I say. The caller is silent for
sometime.
“Thembekile,” I should have known! I

blocked all his numbers and now he is

using other numbers.
“What do you want from me Sthelo?” I’m
actually pissed.

“I want to talk to you,” he says.

“You can talk, I’m listening,” he takes in a
deep breath, he is wasting his airtime!
“I can’t stop thinking about you yaz,” I

laugh, what is he a grade 7 learner?

“Yes you can,” I say.
“I can’t seriously, you scare me a lot. I’ve
been in a relationship and I’ve been hurt so
much, but I’ve healed. You scare me, the
way you’ve invaded my space scares me,
and now that you want to leave, I’m left

with a void.” Out of all things I had thought

he would say, I didn’t expect this, really.
“It’s a pity, I’ve already left and moved on to
my next,” I say. If he wants me, he’ll have to

work for me, probably get a heartache first.

“Your next what?” the calmness in his voice
frustrates the shit out of me.

“My man, or men,” I say, I hear a chuckle.

“I’ll be there later, I’ll call you,” he says and
hangs up before I can even respond, damn
him!
“Qo,” Nelisile is already inside, now I will
have to tell her about my phone call, she

was here all along I just didn’t realize. “Is it

the moodt doctor, I think I might need wine
for these,” she giggles, her energy is off
today, she looks sad, I wonder what it is

about. I tell her about the doctor and ask

her what’s wrong with her.
“This life is no balance, I have to go and
face Bongani’s family because apparently I

can’t be with Miyalo unless I’m cleansed

off their son and the one I was carrying,”
she says, my heart breaks for her, but I
think cleansing herself off Bongani is good

for her being too, she will be freed from any

bad luck that’s hovering over her because
of Bongani.

“I think that will actually be good for you

babe, you will freely start your life afresh,” I
say, she sighs.
“I guess that’s another good way to look at

it, I promised to erect a tombstone there, I

think I’ll do it with my first payment, I truly
want to free myself from him, he is gone,”
she says like it’s only sinking in, I don’t

know about the tombstone, I wonder if it

won’t cause problems between her and
Miyalo.

_
_
NONTOBEKO SIBEKO

Hlanganani! Who would have thought? It’s

him who makes her stare at her phone and
smile like a love-struck high school kid.
He is funny, something she thought he

would never be, he is just… Hlanganani!

You can’t compare him to anyone and you
can’t compare anyone to him, he is just his
own person.

She’s been in a good mood since her

‘sleepover’ but today is just differentt, not
because he did something. But because

her she woke up with a pain in her lower

abdomen, she thought it was period pains,
but when she checjed it wasn’t that time if

the month. She just brushed her teeth and

made up her bed.
She makes soft porridge for her children
and goes to their bedroom. It’s already past

9 it’s so unlike them to still be sleeping at

this time.

“Thando,” she says, Thandoluhle has his

head over Thandolwam's chest, he keeps

on begging him to wake up, she’s shocked,
Thandoluhle doesn’t have the capabilities
of saying these words. She slowly walks

towards them.
“Thandoluhle what are you doing to your
brother,” she asks and roughly pulls him off
Thandolwam, Thandoluhle quietly gets up,

he fell when he was pushed. Thandolwam

is not breathing.
“What did you do to him?” She asks a three
year old child. She checks Thandolwam's

pulse, there’s nothing. He is cold– super

cold, meaning that he died during the night.
“Thandolwam,” he knows that he is dead,
but the truth is she is hopeful.

“Thandolwam my baby, please wake up,

wake up for your mommy,” Thandoluhle is
quietly watching his mother hitting his

brother, he also feels a bit sick.

“Vuka my baby, please wake up, don’t do
this to your mother, vuka,” she breaks a
heart piercing sob.

“Thandoluhle what did you do to him? Get

out, I don’t want to see you here,” she
screams, Thandoluhle startles, is this his

fault? His mother’s wrath makes him

quietly walk out of the room, he needs a
place to hide it else his mother will beat
him up.

PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 33
***Sponsored by Hear Me Out***

NONTOBEKO SIBEKO

She hugged her dead son with tears

streaming down her face, she wailed and

wailed but no one cared to check on them.
Senzo came in for lunch and found her
crying and screaming for Thandolwam to

wake up. He asked what happened but he

got no response, so he checked him, he
confirmed that his nephew was dead, there
was no time to cry or to think about

Thandoluhle, he just separated Nontobeko

from Thandolwam, it was hard but he
finally put her out of the room.
Shortly after that, he called 112, and he
was linked to their closest emergency
service. Shortly after that an ambulance
came, it was a doctor and paramedics, they

stated the time of his death incorrectly, no

one knew when he died. The Kerr's funeral
home came and took his corpse, now that
pain is like no other, it felt like someone

straight up ripped her heart out from her

chest.
She didn’t care about that all she cared

about was her son being taken away from

her, it was hard. She kept on screaming for
them to wait for her, she wanted try to
wake him up, but Senzo hugged her so
tight that she couldn’t fight and hold back,
she just broke down, her world fell apart,
it’s just hard having to accept that her son

is gone, Thandolwam and Thandoluhle are

two different people, no one can replace
the other. She sighs before wiping her
tears.

“Uphi uThandoluhle?” (where’s

Thandoluhle?) She asks Senzo. Shit, he
totally forgot him, how could he? What kind
of an uncle is he? And why is Nontobeko

asking him when she should know where

he is, or he wasn’t here when she woke up?
“I thought you took him somewhere, I don’t
know,” his eyes are bloodshot, he’s been
crying. They knew that he was not okay but
why was his death so sudden? At the
hospital they didn’t even say that it was in

the critical stages, he is so heartbroken.

Nothing can heal him, not even weed can.
And now his sister doesn’t even know
about Thandoluhle’s whereabouts does

that even make sense?

Hlanganani called him and asked what was
wrong since he couldn’t even reach his
sister, Senzo told him about Thandolwam’s

death, there’s nothing he could really do.

Nontobeko doesn’t need to be protected
now, she can fend for herself, although it
breaks his heart that she will leave him, this
was always fate, she was always bound to
leave and marry into another family, she
was always bound to leave him, and he’s

actually made peace with it. He alwsys

knew but he heart was in denial.
Hlanganani sounded drained when he
called, but he promised that he’d be here

soon.
“He has been gone for so long, I said things
to him,” she says with tears streaming

down her face, she gets off her chair and

walks out, she’s going to search for her
son.
Thandoluhle is not in the bedroom, he

actually not in any of the rooms in this

house. She sinks down on the floor and
cries her eyeballs out, her is probably

somewhere out there hungry, or probably

dead like Thandolwam.
“Senzo he is not here,” she says in-between
her sobs. She shouldn’t have! She should

have hugged him, and told him that he

seemed weak but she was too lost in her
own emotions to even realize that her child
was hurting. They are damn twins for

goodness sake, Luhle probably feels lost

and empty without his twin.
“I’ll go look for her sisi,” he yells back. She
releases a shaky breath, this life is not for

the faint. If it wasn’t for Thandoluhle and

her brother, she would have ended it. Her
mind keeps on thinking back to how she

pushed her son away, and if it happens that

something bad happens to Luhle, she will
be blamed, not life, not God or anyone else,
just her.

_
_
_

HLANGANANI NTSHANGASE

Earlier, he was angry, maybe he was hurt

and sad more than anything, he thought

she was backing down from this

relationship of theirs. The main question in
his head was, why. He hadn’t even fucked
up or said anything offensive to her. That

wondering was until he spoke to Senzo,

and was informed that Thandolwam died.
He couldn’t understand why and what killed

him, the boy seemed fine to him, well

besides him complaining about headache,
it couldn’t be headache that killed him,
right? His heart sinks every time he thinks

back to their moments together.

His memory is back to the day he was

crying at the hospital because he had an
altercation with Miyalo, he just wrapped his

arms around him and when he looked him,

he cracked a smile. Thandolwam was the
moon in a gloomy night, the sun in a

gloomy day. He always managed to put a

smile on one’s face, it was difficult being
sad, such a happy child. God’s will they say,
if it is true that it’s his will, then his will is

painful.

He is on his way to Johannesburg. If he

could he would split himself into two,

Miyalo needs him too, but at least they

have half answers to their questions, so he
will just deal with this one first and then go
back home to fix his and Miyalo’s issues.

He wanted to leave Othandiwe back there,

but he begged to come back with him not
because he didn’t like being in the bhundus
but becat he wanted to see Thandoluhle

and hug Mam' Ntobe, he kind of

understands how she feels, he also lost his
mother, it hurt, it hurt so much because he
knew there and then that he didn’t have

anyone left with him, his mother’s boyfriend

abused her and left her to die.
Miyalo promised that he would be okay,
and that he would take care of himself and

his mother, so Hlanganani agreed to come

with Othandiwe.
It's been quiet throughout the drive, they

don’t really have much to talk about.

When they got to Johannesburg,
Hlanganani called and Nelisile and asked
her to wear black clothes, and that he

would explain everything when he got

there.
“I don’t understand why he had to die, he

was such a happy child,” oh his mute son

actually speaks, wow! “I feel sad, it hurts.”
He believes it, but if he were to tell
someone that he was sad they would

straight up laugh at him, Othandiwe is

emotionless, and that is also because if
him, had he not shot his son, he would be
able to shoe emotions, he is able to feel but

he can’t display them!

“I’m sorry my boy,” this is the only thing he
is able to say. He squeezes his son’s hand.
_
_
NELISILE MAGWAZA

I’m numb.

I never thought I’d he hurt by someone’s

child's death like this, my heart really
breaks. Thandolwam was such a happy

baby, talkative too. I held him in my arm, u

shared a laugh with him, I even conversed
with him. Today should be marked as the
the World’s Sad Day.

I couldn’t hold my tears in when bhut’

Hlanganani broke the news to me. I cried
because it hurt. He didn’t deserve to die at
such a young age, he still had a whole life
ahead of him, he didn’t have many firsts,
there were still plenty of those left for him.

I bought candles, that’s what is done in the

African culture, when someone dies you

can’t go to their home empty handed, you
need to have something. We are driving
there, I don’t want us to arrive yet, I can’t tell

someone to be strong when I myself am

numb, all I want to know is the cause of his
death.

Bhut’ Hlanganani parks inside and gets off

the car, we wait inside, I don’t think I’m
ready to face Ntobe, will I ever be ready? I
don’t know.
“I’m getting in, ma,” I have made peace with
the fact that I’ll be called 'ma' by someone
I’m only five years older than. When he

learned that I am Miyalo’s girlfriend, he

apologized for calling me sisi, I tried to tell
him that I didn’t mind, but he heard none of
it.

“Come let’s go,” it’s dark outside, bhut’

Hlanganani walks out angrily? And then?
“”Ngena Nelly,” (go inside,) he says to me
and turns to Othandiwe “Thandoluhle is

missing, come let’s look for him,” God my

heart shatters, he is old enough to feel
pain, right? I wonder where he left.
“No, ngihamba Nani,” (I’m going with you,) I
say. I don’t wait to hear what they say next,
we will deal with Ntobe later. I can’t believe

that they can’t find a 3 year old baby who

went missing since morning, this is crazy,
so fucking crazy.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 34

THEMBEKILE ZUNGU

There is a knock at the door, the clock is

soon to hit 9.
I’m numb, I just had a text from mom
saying that she needs money, I’m out of
money. Not so long ago, I gave them

money, and now they are out of money, I

have to make a plan, I responded and told
them that I have no money, I switched off
my phone right after that.

“Sawubona ntokazi,” (Good evening, lady,)

he says. I hope he’s here for serious
matters because I’m not in the mood for

shit.
“Hey, Sthelo,” I say, bored already.
“Can I come in?” he says.
“Can’t you say whatever you want to say

while standing there?” I ask.

“No, I can’t, can I come in?” I sigh and let
him in. He sits, I sit too and tap my fingers

on my thighs, I’m tired., I don’t even have

money for alcohol, staying sober Iis a sin.
“Uyaphila kodwa?” (are you okay?) He asks
in his deep Zulu accent. I sigh.

“I’m okay Sthelo, what are you doing here?”

I’m really, really really tired, I want to sleep.
“I’m not okay,” he says.
“I’ll pray for you, you can leave now,” I say

and get off the couch. I head to the door,

I’m showing him up. He gets up too, oh God
so he really came here to ask if I was okay?
I’m holding on to the door handle, waiting

for him to walk out so that I can bang it,

what a waste of my time. He puts his hand
over mine, and pushes the door, it’s now

closes. He pushes me against the door and

pins me on it, he puts my hands over my
head lockibg them with one of his head.
“Did I say I was done talking usungixosha

nje?” (you are kicking me out?) He asks, his

breath hits my face. He is angry.
“Sthelo please let go of my hands,” I warn.
“Siyaxabana yin?” (are we fighting?) the

fact that his voice is kept calm all this time

drives me nuts.
“No,” I say and huff.

“Kungani ungikhuphulela iphimbo?” (why

are you raising your voice) silence.
“Are you mute?” I still keep my silence, this
man is gonna be the death of me.

“I’ll leave you hand only if you agree to

speak to me. Calmly,” he emphasizes the
word calm.

“Let go if my hand please,” I say. .

“Okay, ngifuna ukuk’ bona umoyizela ke,” (I
want to see you smile) I can’t help it, I just
smile. “There you go, you are so beautiful,)

he says. Someone should get me a freezer,

I’m melting!

_
_

_
HLANGANANI NTSHANGASE
He is defeated. It’s 2 minutes to 9 and the

child is not found yet. He thought he

wouldn’t have gone too far because he is 3
years old, and is not a social developed
child. His heart is pained, it must be

something deep, a child can’t go missing

for the whole day, Thandoluhle is a damn
child, he doesn’t know death, he probably
thought his brother was asleep or better

yet sick. Okay, if he were to think of the

possibilities of Thandoluhle knowing about
death, it’s ninety-nine possible because

children watch soapies, but he can’t

possibly know that death means that they
will never see the dead person ever again.
He takes a seat and looks at Nontobeko

who is now on the mattress, they said that

it’s only the two of them, Senzo and her and
they haven’t had any kind of
communication with their families, both

sides.
“S’butubutu, iphi ingane,” (where’s the
child,) they haven’t had any
communication, the tea that was made for

them by the neighbors is indigestible, they

can’t stomach anything, how can anyone
think of tea and scones when a child is

missing for almost twelve hours?

“I don’t know Hlanganani,” she’s not crying
anymore, it’s like she’s prepared herself for
any kind of news.

“When last did you see him, I want to

understand, it’s all not making sense to me,
Thandoluhle is missing because… nje?”

(just) he asks, she breaks down and cries

again, he hates seeing a woman crying.
“Buka, stop crying and talk to me, I want
you to help me find him, we can’t lose him

too, we won’t lose him,” the abdominal

pains again!
*I told him to leave, I told him that I didn’t
want him near me nor Thandolwam, I

blamed him for Thandolwam's death,”

lumps over lumps form on his throat, he is
the last person to judge a situation like this,
but this is so wrong.
“What killed Thando?”
“Cancer, brain cancer,” his insides turn. He

didn’t seem like someone who was ill. Yes,

his weight was somehow eyebrow raising,
but not that much because even Oluhle is
slim.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” his voice breaks,

tests are burning his eyes,he is trying so
hard to keep himself strong. A three year
old with Brain cancer, he can’t imagine how

painful his headaches were. He smiled,

even when he was complaining about his
headache, he seemed like a child who
understood, he understood his situation. A
child that understood that he couldn’t
stress his mother too much because she
was already sinking into it.

“I was gonna tell you, I just…” she cries

again. “Please find my baby Hlanganani
please,” she cries. It’s probably cold
outside, her baby is probably feeling cold.

With the rising statistics children being

trafficked and raped even killed, she prays
that her son is okay wherever he is.

Hlanganani gets up and walks out, he is

heading outside he needs a smoke.
He walks to the back yard, and sighs, his
breath is shaky. He lets his tears flow, bit
with every tear his sobs are fighting to be
freed, so he puts his hand over his mouth
to muffle them. A man cries, that’s what he

was taught, if it gets too much, he cries,

just not in the presence of people.
His eyes land on the black plastic bag that,
he puts on his flashlight. Damnit! This is

Oluhle, they’ve been looking everywhere but

the backyard.
“Oluhle,” he says and kneels next to him.
The boy is trembling, he is scared and

getting cold. “Ate you hungry?” he asks, he

tries to help him stand, he can’t. He looks a
bit out of it.
“Thandolwam,” this can’t be his voice, it
sounds weak. He doesn’t really say much
but this can’t be his voice.

“Are you okay my boy?”

“Kub’hungu,” (It’s paining) he puts his
trembling hands on over his belly and cries.
“Come with me, I’ll give you food,”

Hlanganani says letting his own tears flow.

Thandoluhle shakes his head no,
“Anglambanga, kub’hlungu,” (I’m not
hungry, I’m in pain,) now he is convinced

that this child can speak, his voice just

sounds like it’s fading, it’s weak.
“I’ll take you to the doctor,” he scoops him

up.
_
_
_

He takes him inside and asks for food, the

child might pass out. Nelisile offers to take
over, he hasn’t had anything to eat since

morning so she asks for warm water. When

she’s about to take him from Hlanganani,
he starts crying. She sighs and gives
Hlanganani the water.

“Where did you find him baba?” Othandiwe

has been staring at them, Thandoluhle
looks scared.
“In the backyard,” he says.
“He doesn’t look okay,” he says, only if he
would him that the reason for his state is

Nontobeko.
“I know right,” He says and sighs.

Hlanganani has fed and bathed Thando, he

looks… not okay but better than when he

found him. He decides to take him to his

mother.
“Nangumama,” (here is you mother,)

Thandoluhle grabs and hold on to

Hlanganani’s jacket.
“Thando, where were you my baby?” she’s
crying, her heart is aching, she brings her

hands forth a gesture that Thandoluhle

should come to her, when her hands touch
Thandoluhle, he breaks out a loud cry, she
quickly moves back, her son doesn’t want

her, no one but herself is to blame.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 35

NARRATED

Funerals are always somber, no one ever

gets used to them. The dark clothes

everyone wears says it all, it explains the

dark mood, it explains the sadness that’s
hovering over almost everyone.

Today is the day that stamps

Thandolwam’s departure from this world,
everyone’s last good-byes will be said

today, he is going to a better place, a place

where there are no sorrows and pain, or
maybe he is waiting for the time to be
taken to that place, no one really knows

what happens after death. Whether people

die and become ancestors, or they die and
wait for judgement day, it is still unknown
to people– but they believe.

Not only did Thandolwam die, he died at a

very young age, he died and left heavy
hearts behind, or is it he died and took part

of their hearts? Sickness struck him at an

age where one should be at their happiest.
They say that a child is the happiest and
careless person in the world. He was just

that, happy and careless; he spread love.

He made sure that his presence was felt by
everyone around him, but that wasn’t a
ticket to life for him, he died and it hurts

everyone that was close to him.

It was a tough week for everyone,

especially for Nontobeko because not only

did she have to deal with the death of one

child, she also had to deal with guilt. Every
time her eyes turned to Thandoluhle, the

guilt of not being a good mother struck her.

It was only for one night that Thandoluhle
feared being in her presence. The Bible
says that people should change and be like

children in order to enter the kingdom of

heaven, it’s true. Children are the most
forgiving people to exist. After sleeping
everything off at Hlanganani's house,

Thandoluhle woke up and asked about his

brother and his mother, Hlanganani was
really surprised that the boy could speak so

perfecly, as far as everyone knew

Thandoluhle was the most slow person.
“You want your mother?” Hlanganani

asked, taking him to his arms.

“Yes,” Thandoluhle responded wrapping his
hands around Hlanganani’s neck for

support, Hlanganani stared at him and saw

Thandolwam in him, they were identical
twins bit they could differentiate between
them because Thandolwam was just

forward, Thandoluhle on the other hand is

just chilled and lets everything happen at
its own pace.
“Do you still feel sick?” Thandoluhle shook

his head no, Hlanganani nodded and put

him down, “Go back to Othandiwe, I’m
going to change, I’ll take you to your
mother,” he said and turned to walk away.
“Baba,” the little voice called behind him, he
froze. A wrap around his leg brought back

memories, memories of his first time

encounter with Thandolwam, the only
difference was that Thando called him
uncle and Oluhle called him dad. He

snapped out of it, “I’m hungry,” he smiled

and nodded.
When they got to Senzo’s home,
Thandoluhle ran into his mother’s arms, as

if all was forgiven and forgotten. She took

him into her arms and apologized multiple
times.
When the night came and Thandoluhle was
already asleep, she lied next to him and
whispered slowly into his ears that his twin
has was now living in the moon, she told

him that it wasn’t his fault but an angel had

come at night and took him to a better
place where he could have a better view of
them, where he could protect them.

Thandoluhle woke up and didn’t ask any

question about Thahdolwam, but it seemed
like he went back to his box– being an

introverted child.
Yesterday night, Thandoluhle was put
inside his brother's coffin, he was made to
face down.
Today, everyone is dressed in black to
honor and respect Thandolwam, a child
that was taken by brain cancer. Gone too

soon is what keeps on replaying in

everyone’s head. Senzo is just staring into
space, he feels empty, why couldn’t have
God taken him instead? Pain after pain is

what falls upon his sister, maybe his death

wouldn’t hurt as much as Thando's did.
Tears keep in making their way down his
face, he is not even trying to wipe them.

It's time for him to take the stand, he needs

to speak, but he doesn’t have the strength
to do so, he sighs and gets up.
He stands and looks at people that are
here. There are many people here, too
many people, half of them probably don’t

even know who they are, they are just here

to support, that’s how blacks are, well not
all but most, they are supportive. What
does he say now? Does he greet?

“Sanibona,” (Greetings,) people mumble

their low hellos, he clears his throat and
leans forward so he can be closer to the
microphone, “Ngiphukile, inhliziyo Yami

imahliphihliphi,(I’m broken, my heart is

shattered) Thandolwam was a big part of
me, he left a huge gap, it will never be filled,

no one can ever replace him. You know this

boy, I never thought I would bury him, I had
plans for both him and his brother, I had
envisioned their future, but now I’m forced

to start over,” he sighs and sheds his tears,

sobs escape his lips, a hand squeezes his
shoulder, he looks back only to find his new

nephew– Othandiwe– he sighs. “You will

forever remain in our hearts qhawe lami,”
(my hero) he says and wipes his tears with
the back of his hand.

_
_
_
NELISILE MAGWAZA
It’s been a week since he’s been buried, a
week and few days since he died; but, I still

think about him. I’m still sad, sometimes I

feel like screaming my lungs out, he was
too damn young to die, I miss him. His
funeral was the third funeral I’ve ever

attended in my life, it brought back and

triggered a lot of memories, mostly of my
father. The day I woke up to go and check
on him, I was only five years old and found

him 'asleep' that day was my graduation

day at Creche, I begged and cried for him to
wake up until I realized that he was dead
which was a shock to everyone, my father

was never sick, I probably killed my father

at the age of 5 years because I was a
witch. Back then I couldn’t really

understand their theories, but now? Now I

do and I say that they are wild.
I sigh before getting out of bed and taking
a bath, today I’m going to that evil lady,

Bongani’s mother, while God created

people, Satan on the other hand created
that lady and her daughters.

I’ve eaten and fully dressed when I receive

a call from Miyalo, he calls after every
passing 30 minutes to make sure that I’m
okay. He attended the funeral, he didn’t

know Thandolwam, but he felt pain, I think

it was more because he saw Thandoluhle
and thought of the him as a twinless twin,
also because his brother was crying while

holding Thandoluhle in his arms, that

Saturday was painful. As if it wasn’t painful
enough, Miyalo couldn’t spend the night

here, he had to leave.

“Sbani Sami,” (my lamp) he says, I blush,
he’s just got a way of calling me, it gives
me butterflies. It betters and brightens my

mood.
“Babe,” I say.
“Are you well, have you eaten?” he always
asks this, whether I’ve eaten or not.

“I’ve eaten baby, and I’m well.” I say.

“I know you wena, you don’t like eating,”

mxm. I love eating, just not every food.

“Babe, I’ll call you back,” I say, Thembekile
is hooting outside.
“Yin’ndaba usuneshende lapho?” (Why,

what’s wrong? Do you have a boyfriend

there?) I want to say yes, just to raise his
BP levels but, he is dealing with a lot
already.

“Cha, Thembekile is here,” I hear him

releasing a sigh.
“Awuthandwa yimina, uthandwa yinhliziyo
yam,” (,you are not loved by me but by my

heart,) he hangs up before I could even

respond, I laugh and put my phone inside

my bag, it’s time to see the devil’s creator.

_
_
_

“As soon as we leave Bongani’s home, we

are going straight to my mother’s house,
there’s something she says she needs to
tell me,” I haven’t even buckled up, I laugh

and greet her before she starts driving.

“Sthelo and I are dating,” shut the front and
the back door!

“Say what?” She laugh and shrugs her

shoulders, “so does that mean that you are
coming back?” I ask.
“At work?” I nod, “Nope, I’m not shame,”

yohhh aiii.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 36

NELISILE MAGWAZA

They seem to be angry at me, and I think

the only reason they are letting us in is, we

came using a beautiful BMW car.

“Makoti,” I’m not their daughter-in-law, but
I’ll play along and respect them only
because I need their help.
“Yebo ma,” (hello, ma) I say and clear my
throat, I see Thembekile looking at me,
she’s giving me dude eyes. “Ma, I hope you

are well,” I say, she nods her head. She

looks… nervous.
“Now that you are here, I will say that I am
well,” I almost laugh like a hyena, what the

hell happened to this woman! Did she fall

and hit her head? “We’ve been suffering a
lot you know,” I should have known! “I
couldn’t claim anything over to myself, they

said that they needed you physically, I’m

drowning in debt, you know, I looked for
you,” She’s ironing her skirt with her hands,
I’m so bored.
“Good, so this will be a win-win situation, I
need to get cleansed ma, I will only sign the

money over to you if you help me, you

know, you scrub my back and I scrub your
back,” she doesn’t even deserve my
respect, I’m starting to think that she put a

bit on Bongani, she’s probably the one that

killed Bongani.
Thembekile is quiet this whole time, she’s

probably analyzing this woman, for obvious

reasons of course– we’ll discuss her on
our way to meet the Hex, her mother!
“So what do you need from me?” the only
thing I need from her is her presence and
for her to free me from Bongani, she’s the

only one who can have a conversation with

their ancestors.
_
_

“I can’t believe that she didn’t even offer us

something to drink,” I’m the one to start the
conversation, we’ve been quiet throughout
the drive, I don’t know what is up with her

“Yaz, I can’t believe it too,” she is not really

into this conversation, she’s nervous. I don’t
know why she’s nervous, I mean I would
never even judge her background.
“Is this your home?” God I could never even
be ashamed of this home, it’s beautiful, not
too big but beautiful. She looks shocked

too, I laugh, what she doesn’t know her

home now?
“I can’t believe this!” Oh she’s angry.
“What can’t you believe?” I can’t keep up

with the steps she keeps on taking, she is

storming her way inside the house.
“I’ve been taxed because they are building
a mansion, they don’t even have the nerve

to tell me?” I’m shocked really, what the

hell?
“We mama!” she yells once we are inside

the house, well, now I’m sad for her. This is

sad, is her mother even a parent. Her
mother appears and looks at her child with
a smile, her smile vanishes when she turns

to me. She’s beautiful no lies, her big eyes

are what catches my eye.
“Hawe ma ngiyalingwoni?!” (oh my

goodness, am I being tested?) her hands

are on her head when she goes down,
Goodness what kind of bad luck do I have?
I made an old woman faint?

This actually feels like watching a fast-

paced movie!
_
_

_
NONTOBEKO SIBEKO

I’m convinced that Thandolwam wehad

taken his and his brother’s personality. The

change in Thandoluhle is really eyebrow
raising.
Even though he talks a lot now, he is just

lost, I think because he can feel the

absence of his brother, he doesn’t go to
bed without asking me to leave him outside

because he wants to have a conversation

with his brother– honestly, when I told him
that his brother was in the moon, I didn’t
think that he would hear me. He heard me,

and took it to heart, he talks to his brother

all night before going to sleep, he tells him
that he misses him and loves me, I’m
always left in shock. Oh and I forgot to say

that his relationship with Hlanganani is

ofva father and son, honestly I’m holding
back, what if Hlanganani and I break up?
My son will be hurt too because in his head

Hlanganani is his father. I’ve gained myself

a son too, he is always here, I honestly
can’t believe that Hlanganani had a son at
16, I mean people from this generation are

the ones that came up with teenage

pregnancy.
When I tell him that he says that 'I can get

you pregnant by just looking at you'. He’s

gone back to KZN, I miss him but I
understand that he has things to deal with.

Othandiwe is such a lovely name, I love it,

when I tell him that I love his name he says
he loves it too.

He slept over because his father left, and

apparently his father doesn’t trust him
enough to leave him alone, so he came
over with his clothes. You know in African

homes, a boy child does not wear hoodies

or caps in the house, but he does, and I
wonder why.
“Ma, I’m so hungry,” he says, oh part of the

reason why he came here is because I

cook so well I can turn spinach to meat,

imagine!
“I cooked, go and dish up for yourself,” I tell
him. He smiles and takes Thandoluhle with
him before going to the kitchen, they have

a close relationship.

I don’t know what to do with myself, I don’t

want to forget Thandolwam but at the

same time, thinking about him hurts me

because I wish he would be here with his
bubbliness, sometimes I fault myself and
think that if I had taken his headache

problems serious earlier than I did, he

would would probably still be alive.
I’ve lost Senzo, I don’t know if he will ever

go back to his old self. In the past week he

has been waking up and going to work, he
doesn’t even eat anymore, he is just
depressed.

The children have long went to sleep, they

sleep in one bed, and I’ve been watching
TV, this was to get sleepy so that when I
get to bed I sleep instantly, I don’t want to

sleep with tears today.

It’s way past 10h00pm now and Senzo is
not home, well I feel sleepy too.

~
I don’t remember the last time I’ve been
here, kwa sis' Sophy, a tavern that I worked
in at the age of 12, I served beers, it made

no one grown here, in this community they

say 'after 12, it’s lunch'. I got most
horrifying memories in here.

Today I’m just here to rewind, I’m dealing

with a lot so I tell them to give me a six
pack of Savannah. I’m tired of acting
strong and pretending that I’m okay when

I’m not, I’m not okay, I don’t think I will be

okay anytime soon.

I'm on my third bottle when I see him, I

don’t know his name, I never really knew

his name, he came fucked my aunt and
when he felt that my aunt was not enough
for him, he came on to me. I still remember
him, I cannot forget him. I can’t believe that
I’m Frozen, I had planned that I would tell
him off if I ever happened to see him again,

I had planned to swear at him, but now I’m

shivering like I did at 7 when he first made
me open my legs and told me how tight I
was.

He turns and looks at me, he gives me a

devilish smile and winks at me, God
everything that I had digested turns in my
stomach, I quickly get up and run to the

toilet, I throw up.

After washing my mouth, I head back
home, the kids are nowhere to be found,
and I know that Senzo won’t be here at any
time.
I turn the lights on and scream when I see
this old man here. He laughs.

“You’ve grown, I see,” he says and licks his

lips, God I’m so disgusted, I lean back on
the door and hold my breath.

“What do you want?” I ask. He is close, too

close, and my hand are pressed on to the
door the is pinning me.
“Please get off me,” I say, tears already

burning my eyes.
“I still want to have a taste of you, I dreamt
of this day for years,” he whispers.
“Please get off me,” my eyes are closed I’m
begging a man who does not even listen. I
hear him tearing my clothes off. I don’t

know why the hell I’m not able to fight him

off me. He pushes me off to the couch.
“Please don’t do this,” I could, I would use
my hands and weight, but I feel so empty

and drained, I just lost my child and then

this happens. I don’t know when and how,
but I feel him shoving his dick inside me,
only then do I get my strength back, I fight.

I dig my fingers in his shoulders.

“Ey, wena mhlath' wenyoka,” that’s
Hlanganani's voice, a gunshot follows!

.
.

#unedited
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 37

NONTOBEKO SIBEKO

He shot him, and he stopped moving. He

stopped moving and then he stopped
breathing. He stopped breathing and he

closed his eyes. This old man! He died

while inside me. If anything this will forever
be a scar, my rapist died while inside of me,
it doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful, I am,
but I’m just… I don’t know the correct word
for it.
“I’m sorry,” his voice sounds so far yet so

close. I want him to come and get this

fucking man off me, I’ve been trying to
push him off, but I can’t, he is too heavy for

me, and more than anything it feels like he

is glued to me.
“Hlanganani, get him off me,” I feel I need
to take a bath, I need to scrub this man's

scent off me. But Hlanganani, he isn’t

listening to me. Instead of listening to me,
he turns and walks away. I scream for him
while crying, he shuts the door and God

what am I going to do now?

“Hlanganani, please…” I cry for him
~

“Mama!” it’s Othandiwe! I snap my eyes

open. It was a dream, a bad and scary
dream. I sit up and sigh.
“Boy,” he has Thandoluhle in his arms, He

lays Thandoluhle next to me and then he

sits.
“Are you okay?” he asks, but doesn’t let me
answer, “I’ll call ubaba for you,” I do want

him to call his father so I wait. They talk for

a some time, exchanging greetings, he tells
his father that I was having a nightmare
and then he immediately give me his phone
before he takes Thando and leaves the
room.

“Hlanganani,” I say.
“Hawu, wedali what did I do wase ungibiza
ngegama angalinikwa ubaba?” (why are
you calling me by my birth name)

“Uyaphila kodwa ndlovukazi yam?” (are you

okay my queen?) He asks.
“I’m fine,” I say and sigh.
“Are you aware that Othandiwe told me that

you were crying for me, tomorrow night, I

might be there,” I laugh, he is being
ridiculous.

“No, finish you business there, you will find

me here,” I say.
“I’ll be back soon squbu senhliziyo yam,” he
says and then says his goodbye. I sigh and

try to get back to sleep, but it’s hard since

I’m scared that I might have a recurring
dream. I sigh and close my eyes. I’ve never

really dwelled on the fact that I was raped, I

always pushed it to the back of my head,
but now that I’m dealing with my son’s
passing, this is all coming back to me.

_
_
_
NELISILE MAGWAZA

>>>EARLIER<<<
God, this woman just woke up. We had to

sprinkle water on her for her to wake up.

When she finally woke up she looked
shaken and she called me by a strange
name, I don’t even remember the name, I

corrected her and told her that I am

Nelisile.
I’m really a questioning a lot about their
character. I don’t know what kind of a

mother she is, she didn’t even ask if

Thembekile is okay, since it’s been long
since they saw each other.
She looks nothing like Thembekile, it might

be that Thembekile inherited her looks

from her father, but there’s not even a

single thing that says that she’s her mother.

I can’t believe that they have done so much,
they have built a big house like this, with
Thembekile’s money without even

informing her. You know some parents are

not meant to be parents. Honestly, now I’m
wondering if I really really do want to know
my mother because wow, if this is what

mothers do then I don’t want her.

Thembekile is trembling next to me, I have
her hand in mine.

“Ma, you know, I really thought that you

were having real emergencies,” her voice is
shaky as fuck. I want us out if here, but I
don’t think she’ll be able to drive in this

state of hers. Her mother not being

apologetic does not help her situation.
“I could have but I didn’t, I took you to

school, fed you, this is the least you could

do for me,” the least? She has got to be
kidding, this house is a bloody
sthabathaba, it’s a mansion!

“I would have built a house for you mama,

in the correct and right way, but you had to
starve me for that,” she chuckles, and I
wonder if this is really the woman that just

fainted not so long ago.

“Aiii awung'xega Mina, isiphelile angithi!”
(leave me alone, the house is already built!)
I flinch, she’s raising her voice. I can’t
imagine how Thembekile must be feeling
right now, used maybe?
“It’s okay ma, I was here to check up on

Mpilo since she was said to be sick,”

Thembekile says after releasing a shaky
sigh.
“Aiii and she’s sick,” just as she says so, a

slay queen wannabe enters carrying a child

that’s probably 2 years. I don’t know
whether the clothes she’s wearing are legal
to be called Gucci, I think they are Mducci

because wow! It’s Mdubulo (fake) you don’t

even have to ask. Her one line brow and the
fake beauty mark drawn with a eye liner.
“Another lie, I see nothing wrong with Mpilo
here, ma,” she releases a breath, I cannot
say that I’m surprised. At this point I’m just
worried about Mpilo, is she even living in a

good environment?
“And then ma? Umam'ncane
wayenamawele?” (Did aunt have twins?)

She’s really out of context, she looks drunk

too.
“Heyyy twinnnns,” she says and chuckles.
Oh she’s speaking about the two of us?

Many people have said again and again

that we look alike, I’m also starting to think
we do look alike. But again it might be that
we are always together.
“Aiii wena, stop talking nonsense.” The
mother reprimands the slay Queen.
“But it’s true ma, these people look so

much alike,” Thembekile storms out, I

would too, these people are toxic.
“Stay well ma,” I say getting up, no
response, tjo!

_
_
_
STHELO BHEMBE

He had to be home, he had to go and

accept damages from his cousins. If this
had nothing to do with their ancestors, he

would have just went to his ancestral room

and reported to them that Miyalo is no
longer theirs, but the Ntshangases, but
there protocols that needed to be followed,

so they– him and his uncles– accepted

their money and reported Miyalo to have
been a child that has been released from
the Bhembe home and that he is using his

surname– Ntshangase– legally.

The Ntshangases are still here, they will be

leaving tomorrow. They are chilling and

having drinks around a fire outside, just like

the olden days.
“I called the lab, they said that the results
were ready bafo,” he informs Miyalo and

Hlanganani.
“I don’t even know why we had to do those
tests, these people are the same person,”
Hlanganani says. Miyalo and Sthelo laugh.

“We just need to be sure bafo, we can’t just

conclude that they are sisters without
having concrete evidence,” Miyalo says and

sips his drink. They all saw Nelisile’s

resemblance to Thembekile so they
decided to do their own tests aside,
Miyalo’s phone rings.

*Sbani Sami,” he says smiling, his brothers

have stopped drinking thru are staring at
him, who would have thought? Miyalo was
just a walking corpse, since he learned

about him having epilepsy, which was not

totally true. “What?!... Are you okay? Is she
okay?... Okay we are on our way, we’ll be

there before dawn,” by the time Miyalo

hangs up, Sthelo and Hlanganani have
already put on their jerseys, they head to
the car, no questions are asked, when

Sthelo heads to the driver’s seat Miyalo

says that Hlanganani should drive Instead.
“What happened?” Hlanganani asks after
Miyalo tells him to drive to Johannesburg.

“Nelisile and Thembekile got into a car

accident,” Sthelo closes his eyes and sinks
down on the chair, what the fuck? “They
said something about loyamfazi they think

is her mother,” while searching for

Thembekile and Nelisile’s relationship and
where they really come from they found out

that Thembekile’s mother is not her mother

but her aunt, Thembekile’s mother died 24
years ago, after giving birth to a little child
that they assume is Nelisile, Thembekile’s

mom was a prostitute, that’s why they

know nothing about her father. Her sister
who is now known to be Thembekile's
mom, knew the father of that child, so she

wrapped a towel and took her home,

everything about this child screams
Nelisile, because... who else? They are just

waiting for DNA tests to confirm.

“I’m gonna kill her, that witch!” Sthelo says,
sounding defeated. He wonders what they

did to her.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 38

NELISILE MAGWAZA

I shouldn't have let her drive.

I saw how disturbed she was yet I let her
drive, I'm just thankful to God for our life.

We are not really hurt and the car is not

that damaged, I hope she insured it. The
doctor cake in and checked us because

Thembekile had a head injury, they gave her

pills. I, on the other hand, am okay, I think
I'm still in shock that's why my heart is
beating so fast.

"I'm sorry Theh," I say, really she looks

crushed, emotionally. Her spirit is crushed
more than her car is.
"It's not your fault, my life is fucked up." this

weighs me down, I don't know what to do, I

just want her to talk, I'll listen, I sigh and get
into the hospital cot with her. She lays her
head on my shoulder and sniffs, I brush her

shoulder.
"Sbani Sami," I open my eyes, Imust have

fallen asleep in the bed, he is standing by

the door. I give him a smile. I look at Theh,
she is also sleeping, sigh.
"Baby," I say and get off the bed to give him

a hug. He engulfs me in a tight and warm

hug, I missed him, so fucking much. He
kisses the top of my head and squeezes
me once again. He breaks the hug and

sighs.
"Come, let's go," he takes my hand.
"We can't leave her alone in here," Why

would he think I'd do that?

"Sthelo is here," I look back, he is sitting on
a chair, the chair I was sitting on. Gosh, so I
passed him, I didn't even greet him? let the

Earth swallow me now!

"Bhut' Sthelo, I'm sorry, I didn't see you," he
chuckles.

"I didn't see you too Page, how are you?" I

laugh, he can be a clown sometimes.
"I'm okay, Bhuti" I say.
_

_
_
We are sitting in the backseat of the car. He
makes me lay my head on his chest and

hugs my shoulders.
"I love you," he kisses the top of my head
and releases a sigh. "Everything went well
back home, I think we'll do the welcoming
ceremony this coming Tuesday, and then
I'll officially go back to my life, my true life,"
He says, a kiss on my forehead lands.

"Thank you for standing by me, I love you

and I'll forever love you," he says and
breathes.
"I love you even more babe," I say. His heart

is beating so fast, I don't know if it's

because he is worried or he is stressed, but
this can't be normal.
"Othandiwe called, he told us that Ntobe is

not okay, we dropped him off there, I'm just

sad Sthandwa Sami, she's been through a
lot," she has hey, I'm glad she hasn't
reached her breaking point.
"Okunye ke Sthandwa Sami, we took your
samples and did DNA tests, you and

Thembekile are sisters," (another thing my

love) My head starts spinning, what in the
fucking hell? "Please do not be angry," it

can't be that that demon of a lady is my

mother! I'll die, gosh.
_
_

_
STHELO BHEMBE

He is still just seated on the visitor's chair.

He wants to wake her up, he wants to tell
her how much he loves her; but, he knows
her, this is actually the first time he is
seeing a relaxed Thembekile, and he

doesn't want to disturb her, although his

arms yearn to have her in them.
He had always wondered why she was
always defensive, and now he gets it, he

gets her; and he feels bad for overworking

her, he feels bad for always being hard on
her.
"Your eyes are burning my skin," her voice

does foreign things to him, he doesn't know

what it is, but he feels like he is being
electrified.
"You are sly," he says and chuckles, "How
long have you been awake?" he asks.
"I just woke up," She opens her eyes, and

blinks twice.
"Wamuhle uvuka Ntombi," (you are
beautiful even when you just woke up,) he
says and takes her hand, he plants a kiss

on it.
"Thank you," she says, blushing.
"You have me a fright, you know, and I
missed you," he says.

"I missed you too," she says.

If he was told, that he would feel the way

he does about this girl here, he would have

straight up nodded his head and said, "I

believe,", because really she's a full
package, if she could only get rid of the
guys in her contact list.

"What are you thinking of?" she asks, shyly.

He's been staring at her for long without
even saying a word.

"I'm thinking if your beauty, uyangshaya

ngaphakathi mamazi," he says and smiles
at her, she blushes yet again, forgetting
that she has problems after problems that

she has to take care of.

_
_
_
Thembekile and Nelisile didn't seem to be
shocked much about them being sisters,

what really shocked them was maZungu

being their aunt instead of mother.
Nelisile was angry, angry because all along
she thought it was her mother that

abandoned her, but it was her aunt, who

had all the rights in the wod to do that. She
also felt bad because had she not been
given birth to, Thembekile wouldn't have

not experienced her mother's love. But

Thembekile assured her that it was okay
and that she loves her.

Thembekile made sure to block and delete

every contact of her mother and sister, well
her aunt and cousin. She wants nothing to
do with them.

They are all gathered in the Ntshangase

household, today Hlanganani is officially
introducing Miyalo to their ancestors in
their main alter. They were told to destroy

the one that was built for the late Miyalo

and so they did.

"Sthandwa Sami," Miyalo says and takes

her hand into his. "You see when they talk

about the sun after a storm? You are that in
my life Bambo Lwam, I love you to the
moon and back, I'll marry your ass," he says

and kisses her forehead.

"I love you too," She blushes.
"I miss you," he says
"Hawu, I'm here," she giggles.

"I mean, I miss being inside you, when are

we doing the cleansing ceremony," she
sighs.

"I'll go to Bongani's home during the week,

have you guys spoken to Nonto?" She says
changing the topic, she doesn't want to
dwell on the sex topic because they might

end up risking their lives and losing their

morals.
"No, I'll tell bhuti to call her," he says,
Nontobeko couldn't make it, she is still

mourning her son, so they only came with

Othandiwe whose heart is left behind with
his 'ma'. He feels bad for leaving her with

malum' Senzo who seems to not exist, he

seems to be living in another lifetime.
.
.

.
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 39

~ONE MONTH LATER~

NELISILE MAGWAZA

“Fuck, I love youuuuuu!” He groans,

emptying his load inside me. He collapses

on top of me. His heartbeat rate is faster
than Caster Semenya's speed on her finals.
I’m also trying to catch my breath, while

inhaling his scent, his perfume mixed with

sweat.
He pulls out after some time and goes to
the bathroom. He comes back with a towel

and wipes me, before he carries me to the

bathroom too, he ran water in the bath I
guess, he puts me inside and starts to bath

md
“I love you,” he repeats and kisses my
forehead.
“I love you even more,” I say, and I mean it. I

love him, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to

love anyone else more than I love Miyalo.
He has been my rock since I’ve met him, he
has been trustworthy too, I mean he could

take a U-turn from Pimville and bring me

back to Slovo without any complaints.
So many things didn’t make sense, they

only did when I met him. My black,

beautiful, and weird taxi driver Miyalo.
Loving him feels right, you know, it feels
like breathing. He continues to scrub me, I

just close my eyes and let him do his

magic. This is not the first time he is
bathing me, and trust me when I say he
does it with passion, I hope he’s bathed any

woman before because I kid you not, I’d go

and unbath– if there’s a word like that–
them.
The cleansing ceremony finally took place,
two weeks ago, after I’ve been running
after Bongani’s mother’s, I guess the fact
that I was willing to sign over their son’s

money over to them wasn’t enough. They

wanted me to get on my knees and beg,
which was never gonna happen. I told
Miyalo that they were giving me a hard

time, 2 days later he came with evidence

that they were the ones that ordered a hit
on Bongani. Now I won’t lie, I was kind of
hurt that they had him killed because they

owed loan sharks, Bongani loved his family

even though it wasn’t mutual, if they had
come and told him that they had debts, he
surely would have made a plan.
So I went to them and told them that if they
don’t agree to do the ceremony– a

ceremony that they were not even paying

for– I will report them to the police. They
knew that they had to shut their fucking big

mouth and listen. Because I am who I am,

a girl with a big heart, I told them to also
erect Bongani’s tombstone with some of
his money, and now I can be at peace with

My Miyalo because everything had been

done.

“Sbani Sami,”(my lamp) he says, drawing

patterns on my arm, I lift my head and look
at him. “I want to marry you,” he says, I
laugh, he has been saying this again and
again.

“And you will,” I laugh. He drives me and

gets me off the bathtub, he treats me like a
kid sometimes, and gosh I love that
treatment so much.

“Uyavuma?” (are you agreeing?) He says,

obviously I will marry, when he asks. He
puts lotion on his hands and applies it on
my skin, he keeps caressing me. It feels so

good.
“Yes, hawu,” I roll my eyes and chuckle.
“Okay, thank you thank you, my baby,” he
says and kisses my forehead. I don’t know
when and where he fishes out that, but he
is showing me a single stone ring, it’s
beautiful.

“Oh, is that for me?” I ask, he nods his hand

and gives it to me, there’s no kneeling
whatsoever, he is not even sliding it in, you
know what! I will not stand for this, hhiybo

naku ngigileka boh!

“Yes, it is,” I laugh.
“We will erase this from our heads” I start
off, he frowns, “Yes, this is not how you

propose, it has to dramatic, people have to

see me, and you have to prepare a long
speech, take me out for a date first,” I say

getting up, I need a shower, oh I forgot that

I took a bath, I only need to get into my
clothes nje.
_

_
_
SENZO SIBEKO

He has nothing left to live for.

He’s been holding on for at least his
nephews, but they took one and left the
other, and now he is forced to hold on

again, because if he doesn’t it will seem

like he doesn’t care about Thandoluhle.
“Bafo,” the man here with him is
Hlanganani, he is his least favorite person
right now because well, he is planning on
taking his sister away from him.

“Sure ntwaizin,” Senzo says with a sigh.

“You know that we all love youz right?”
Hlanganani asks, Senzo nods, it’s no doubt
that they love him. “Why do you keep on

doing this? Your sister doesn’t sleep all

night because she is worried that you
might be on drugs, Thandoluhle also feels
your energy,” Hlanganani says and sighs.

“Othandiwe is now my body guard, why

don’t you add that?” Othandiwe is always
on his heels, he never lets him breathe, the
only time he does is when he is called by

his mom, Nontobeko.

“Yes, him too,” Hlanganani says and laughs,
“You know that everything and anything

you need, you can always ask us right? And

I’m not saying these things because I want
to invalidate your feeling, no I’m not trying
to do that, your feelings are very much

valid, I just want you to try and get yourself

together, I can even get you those robot
white grannies that pen down your
problems, we need you back man,”

Hlanganani convinces.
“Eyyy Waze wangishela ndoda!” (hey, you
are courting me,) he slowly exclaims, “but I

hear you, I’ll try to heal, I think going to his

grave will help me,” he says and sighs.
“I think you also need a woman,”
Hlanganani jokes.

“Hey, who said I didn’t have a woman?”

Senzo chuckles shaking his head, 'I'm just
not in a good space, my dick is,” they both

crack up.
“Uyislims mfana,” (you are a fool,)
Hlanganani says, it’s really nice having to
hear him laugh, even though it’s short lived,

but it’s really great.

_
_
_

Hlanganani has just arrived home after

having a great day at work, well not really
at work but he had a really enjoyed his day

with his soon to be brother in law. They’ve

always had a close relationship, or was it
one sided because Senzo always lied about
his sister, he chuckles and heads inside. He

remembers that his girlfriend – woah, they

need to get married already, he can’t be
having a girlfriend at his age– has left.
“Ya, boy,” he greets his son that’s forever in

his phone when Thandoluhle and Ntobe are

no where in sight.
“Baba,” he says and gets back to his phone.
Hlanganani sighs, they are not there yet,

their relationship is not where he would like

it to be as yet, but he is willing to put in the

work.
“You know that I love you right?” he asks
sitting down. He rolls his sleeves up,
honestly he doesn’t know what he was

doing with this shirt anyways, but whatever

Ntobe irons for him, he will wear. “I may not
be the best father to exist, heck time is

what I’ve lost, I can’t really make up for it,

but you should know that I love you, and
I’ve got your back Mfanakithi, yezwan?”
“I love you too, baba, you are not the best

father, you are theee besttt father,” he says

and snuggles closer to his father, his father
hugs his shoulders. “You care about
everyone, that’s why I don’t he grudges for
you, I was wrong for stealing from you, and
I’m sorry for that. Stop beating yourself up
for shooting me, I would have done the

same, that bullet brought me close to the

second person that mattered to me the
most, ngiyak’thanga gazi lam,” (I love you,
my blood) Othandiwe says. His mother

never held him like his father does, his

father might have masculine as ND hard
features, but he is just sweet and loving, it’s
just proof that he didn’t really have toxic

love around him when he grew up, he grew

up in a warm home, the same can’t be said
about bab' Miyalo though. “And thank you
for bringing a warm person like ma to my
life, and a brother too, please have plenty of
those now before I have mine, I can’t be
competing with you,” They both crack, still

in each other’s arms. There’s no greater

love than a parent’s, no bullet can take
away the love he has for his father, he
loved his father before he even knew him,

because he was not really a deadbeat

father, he just didn’t know about him. He
won’t lie and say his father shooting him
didn’t hurt him, but who wouldn’t shoot a

thief?

.
.

.
Finale

PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 40

THEMBEKILE ZUNGU

Some things are just meant not to be

looked for. Some of those things are, my
mother’s grave and my father. If my mother
wanted me to find out about my father she

would have told maZungu about him, and

besides what more do I need? It’s not like
I’m in need of him anyways. And my
mother, I’m just not interested in her, I’m
just thankful that she made me a sister
that I love so much. I’ve made peace with
everything that happens in my life,

everything happens for a reason, I guess

being pressured by my aunt left me to
doing medicine at school, and also being
employed by Sthelo helped me know

Nelisile, and most importantly it gave me a

chance in finding love, in finding Sthelo.

I’m currently running my last rounds, I’m

checking up on my patients before I go

home. Sthelo will be here at any time. I
stood by my word, I’m still working at the
Baragwanath Hospital and I’m not planning

on going back to the clinic as an employee.

I have no interest in looking at Sandra and
Sthelo flirting. Now I know that people
would probably think that in being a typical

jealous girlfriend, but I’m not. I know what I

see when those two are together. Had he
have said the three words yet, I would have
told him that he needs to tell his PA to fix

his PA because she gives us 'jealous wife’s

vibes.
Once I’m done with running my rounds, I sit
on my chair, sipping my coffee that I wish

to turn into wine, because wow I’m tired. I

feel overworked, but because I love what I
do, I don’t complain.
I wait for Sthelo. I wait and wait until I can’t
wait anymore. Sthelo is probably busy with
hishis PA. I sigh before requesting an Uber

for myself. Today is Friday, that means that

tomorrow is Saturday, and if tomorrow is
Saturday that means I’m off and I won’t be

able to rest because the Ntshangases are

hosting a second welcoming ceremony in a
month.
Before getting up and leaving, I try Sthelo

just to check up on him, I want to know if

he is okay, but his phone leads me straight
to voicemail, sigh! He’s been doing this
continuously and I’ve been giving him the
benefit of the doubt. He doesn’t really give
me his time lately.

_
_
_
I got home and took a long bath while

sipping my wine.
I’m lotioning my body when I hear the
sound of the door opening, I know it’s
Sthelo because he is the only one that has

the keys to my heart… I mean the keys to

my house.
I wrap a towel on my body before heading
out of my room, I’m going to wherever he

is, oh he’s in the dining room, I place my

hands on my waist and release a huge
breath, I don’t want to confront him, clearly

he doesn’t see anything wrong with his

behavior.
“Baby,” he says, folding the sleeve of his
shirt. I stare at him, I don’t have a voice to

waste.
Seeing him alive makes me glad, I really
wouldn’t want anything to hurt him… wellz
besides me. I try to remember what it is

that I cake here for, when I don’t recall it, I

remember that I have two feet that could
take me to my bedroom at anytime, and I

have two hands that will be able to carry a

duvet and a pillow to hand to this one, he
will be sleeping on the floor today… or on
the carpet rather.

I stomp my way to my bedroom and take

one duvet that is not the warmest, I take an
uncomfortable pillow and head back to the

kitchen. I get to the kitchen side throw

them on the floor, he looks at me and
sighs. I keep my mouth shut and turn back
to go away. I feel his warm hand wrap

around my wrist, I release a sharp breath.

His touch is always effective.
"Yini inkinga?" What's wrong, he asks. I

laugh in Spanish!
"What's wrong? Is that what you are gonna
ask?" I'm pissed and angry at the same
time, but more than angry I am pissed.

"Umemezelani?" (Why are you shouting?)

He asks me this bullshit, "let's sit down and
talk like adults," he pulls me, he takes a
seat and makes me sit on his lap, he wraps

his arms on my waist.

"Why didn't you let me know that you
wouldn't come to fetch me? Why didn't you
tell me that you had changed your plans?" I

ask looking straight in his eyes. Our heights

are leveled, he wets his lips with his
tongue. It takes a lot in me not to smash
his lips with mine.

"I'm sorry, I had a patient at that time," he

says. I sigh.
"I'm sure you had your phone with you, and

that's besides the point, you always keep

me waiting for you, and you actually end up
not showing up," I say and attempt to get
up. He holds me in place.

"Manje uyaduba?"(you are angry?) Of

course I am.
"No, I am very much happy with you, that's

why you are sleeping on the couch

goodnight," I say giving him a fake smile. I
get up from him, and he let's me, good!
_

_
_
I thought he would come to bed but he
didn't, I'm waking up for the fifth time right
now, I check the time, it's still 3am. I sigh
and close my eyes.

The door opens, I think he is trying to sneak

in because he is trying to be as quiet as he
can.
I make sure not to open my eyes. He gets

in bed behind me, he touches me, God he is

so cold!
He wraps his arms around me, he snuggles
me in closer breathes on my neck. He is

shuddering, I feel so bad.

"Wake up," he whispers softly in my ear, my
hairs rise in that moment. "I know you are
not asleep, baby, I just want to talk to you,
ngiyak'cela," he continues. I turn my whole
body and open my eyes, I'm facing hod
chest.

"I'm sorry, some things just slip my mind, I'll

try to be a better boyfriend, I'm sorry," he
kisses my nose and snuggles me even
more closer, his scent fills up my nostrils. I

quickly inhale it. "Please be patient with

me, I'm really not used to relationships like
these," he says and I smile.
"It's okay," he squeezes me tightly, I let my

self melt in his warm embrace. Something

is poking my belly, gosh!
_
_
_
By 6am, we were already driving to
Mbumbulu, Gosh, I kept on napping on our

way, I'm so tired! I've never really went to

KZN, ever! When they speak about a true
Golian they are speaking about me, I stay

true to my roots, I was born and bred her,

also, I'll due here.

We got here by 10am and they were not

done cooking, so I had to put on my

pinafore and doek and help around.

I didn't think that Nelisile was capable of
domestic work, phela this girl is always
telling us that she's tired- I guess she's
trying to impress her in laws. Since I got
here I haven't had time to speak with her.

Nontobeko is here, and I the one cooking

curry, I guess this is because she is a chef

and is able to do her thing. I love the
woman and the mother in her, she's just sm
strong. I first saw her when we were

burying one of her twins, my heart broke, I

couldn't help but cry, and till today I'm
wonder how she is able to smile

throughout.
"Ma," This child! I'm not even that old but he
calls all of us Ma.
"Can you at least call me sis'

maThembekile?" I pray to God he nods his

head. He shakes his head with a smile!
Goddammit!
"Baba is calling you," he says, I raise my

brow. Sthelo knows that I'm busy why

would he call me.
"Bab' Miyalo," he says, I sigh. Miyako and I
are always not seeing eye to eye, this

started last year when they offered me a

ticket if a game, it was Mamelodi
sundowns vs Pirates. I cane wearing my
Sundowns t-shirt and he was wearing his

black and white t-shirt, he was angry I

guess, and now we debate and do not
agree on every topic we have.
I follow him to the main house, Miyalo is
alone drinking water. Othandiwe leaves us
both in the same room.

"Thembekile are you okay?" he asks, his

eyes are suddenly dark, not welcoming.
"I'm okay," he needs to get to the point,

soon.
"Did you tell him?" I raise my brow in
confusion, until I remember... God, I can't!
"No, I didn't," I whisper and take a seat.

"You have to," he says, I shake my head no.

"I can't, he'll leave me," my hands are
sweaty.
"Who will leave you?" Sthelo, where is he

coming from?
.

.
Finale
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

CHAPTER 41

THEMBEKILE ZUNGU

“Uthanda izindaba bafo,” (you like people’s

news) Miyalo says staring right into my

eyes, he is not sparing his brother eye
contact. I feel numb. I should have thought
about Sthelo, I shouldn’t have let him love

me knowing what loving me would do to

him, it could crash his dreams. But I need
to tell him, because Miyalo too is involved,

and if he finds out for himself, trust

between brothers might be broke.
Actually it’s me I’m worried about, what
would I even be without him? I’ve learned to

love and live with him? How am I gonna

learn to live without him. He chuckles and
kisses my forehead, he fills a glass with

water and hands it to me, he always does

this, I don’t know why, he always makes
sure that I’m hydrated. He watches me
drink and thanks me before taking the

glass and kissing my lips.

He leaves after fist bumping his brother. He
is not suspecting anything, good.

“You have to tell him, sisi, so that he has a

choice to leave you. I’m not saying he will,
but I mean you should tell him while you

guys are still loving each other the right

way, give him a choice,” maybe that’s what I
wanted, maybe I wanted him to not be able
to live without me so that when I tell him he

doesn’t have a choice but to stay with me.

“He won’t leave you, you didn’t cause this
yourself, but he deserves to know,” he says

this and sighs sitting down.

“I’m gonna tell him, but you have to know
that this isn’t easy for me,” I say and sit
down, tears are threatening to fall. He sits

next to me and pats my shoulder, this is the

closest we have been since that day, I had
pushed it at the back of my head.
It was on the day of the match, we watched

the match and his brothers had decided to

leave early, leaving Miyalo and I behind, we
drove in silence, I guess he was still angry
because I was for the other team.

When we were on our way back, I felt pains

on my lower abdomen and the sides of my
stomach, he panicked as angry as he was
with me, he took me to the hospital. And

that’s where I found out that I had kidney

failure and that automatically makes me a
barren. It crashed me but I had no time to

feel sorry for myself, I had bigger things to

take care of, like my mother asking money
from me and after every two weeks. The
reason why Miyalo knows is that he had

been checking up on me because he was

worried. He was supportive from afar, but
this is a topic we hardly ever go back to

that topic.
“I know and I’m sorry for meddling into your
business,” he should be! I sigh and say,
“I need wine.”

“You know that wine will make your

situation worse, it will take your life away
from you,” I nod and sigh, I’ve learnt to live
with wine, I cope when I drink wine, now I
can’t turn my back on it, it needs me. It has
held me up for the longest time, it held me
up when I dealt with my problems of being

a mother to my mother, it held me up when

I dealt with not being able to have children,
now that it’s calling my name to drink it, I
can’t turn my back on it. “He won’t leave

you,” I’m trying so much to avoid this, no

black man will accept having a relationship
with a woman that cannot have children
“I’m sorry,” he says, can he fucking shut up?

He squeezes my shoulder and tells me that

he will call Sthelo for me.
I’m pacing up and down in another
woman’s Kitchen. It’s not what I have been
taught, but I’m so stressed!
“You called for me?” he sits down on the

the chair, I stand over him. He hugs me

legs and looks up at me, “Why are you
crying?” he asks. I release a breath, and
wipe my tears.

“I love you,” I say, he creases his brows and

forms a frown.
“Are you leaving me?” I quickly shake my
head no, he gives me his gorgeous

lopsided smile, “Good, even if you were

planning to, I wouldn’t have let you leave
me,” he kisses my stomach.
“I love you, so much” he lays his head on
my stomach, okay this is really weird.
“I have kidney failure Sthelo, I can’t be with
you,” I say sighing.

“Why?” He asks. He’s a doctor, he should

know what causes a failure of kidneys.
“When I was in varsity, I would take a lot of

painkillers, that was because I was under a

lot of stress, and well I didn’t know that it
would backfire.” I sigh, tears are making
tributaries on my face. I sometimes forget

to take my pills because well, I didn’t care.

“No, I mean why can’t you be with me?” he
asks.
“Because I have a possibility of not giving
you kids,” he looks at me in disbelief, what?
“Are you sure you studied to become a

doctor?” what kind of dumb question is

that? “You are sick wena, uzong' phimisela
amasimba, I know that you have kidney
failure, but that doesn’t mean that you have

to stop me from loving you, you know there

are other medical alternatives we can try if
you can’t really conceive,” he clears his
throat and smiles. Wait, did he say that he

knows about me being sick? Well, I don’t

care now, I kiss his forehead and hug his
head that is placed on my stomach.
_
_
_
OTHANDIWE

They say that his mother had a hard

pregnancy, that she was in and out of
hospital with a big stomach and swollen

feet. It was probably because she was 15

and pregnant. She was not old and fit
enough to carry a child in her stomach, she
was too forward. Probably why he stayed

almost a year in her womb. Had she not

have opted for cesarian section he would
have died. This is the only reason why he
loves her, he loves her because she took

care of him before he was birthed, and that

she did not give him up, she took care of
him; but still, he didn’t feel her motherly
love because she was constantly trying to

please men so that they had something to

eat at night. It doesn’t change the fact that
she is his mother though, and that it hurt

him when she died. He found her body

hanged up in the shack that they were
living in, they said it was suicide but he
knew it wasn’t, if that woman could endure

being sexually abused, and being

penetrated by sharp objects only for him to
have something to eat then she couldn’t
have killed herself before she could see

him succeed, it was him, her boyfriend, that

killed her and ran away. And now he has
sworn that he would avenge his mother’s

death, it’s been years, but he has kept track

of him, and now that he is closer to him, it
will be easy.

A sigh of relief escapes his lips. Everything

has been done, he finally has a home of his

own, the only thing that needs to be done
nod is to change his surname from

Mhlongo to Ntshangase.
People are celebrating outside, as they
should. But he really isn’t interested in that,
he just took two sips of umqombotho

(African beer) and ate the food that was

prepared by his mom– Yep, his mom is
very much alive, Nontobeko is his mom–
He slept soon after after eating.

A knock comes up, it’s his father, a man

that almost killed him but he cannot hate,
his fathers are people he could kill for, his
moms he could protect and live for, and his

little brother and possibly coming siblings

he could die for. And then there’s his
grandmother, he loves that woman,

whoever comes for her they are straight up

coming for him.
“Are you okay my boy?” he asks sitting
down.

“I’m fine Menziwa, how are you?”

Othandiwe asks.
“I’m okay,” Hlanganani scratches the back

of his head and releases his deep breath,

“you know, I’ve been thinking about taking
your mother as my wife, I want to
negotiations to take place next week,” okay,

what a way to brighten his night.

“Really,” it’s sad that they can’t see when he
is happy or sad, his emotions are out on
hold.

“Yes and you are going to school next year,

I saw your results, you did great hey,”
bloody results!

.
.

Finale
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 42

NELISILE MAGWAZA

We are travelling back to Johannesburg,

I’m so tired that’s why I’m in my pajamas.
The last two days were a pain in the ass, I

had to run around doing wife duties when

there hasn’t even been a bird paid for me,
but I did willingly, so I’m not really
complaining, even though I am.

Miyalo is driving, and I’m actually relaxed,

I’m not stressed that he might have an
episode because I know that it’s never

coming back again, they sorted that issue

out. Our hands are intertwined. We get to a
garage and refill the tank and buy some
snacks and refreshments before we drive

off.
I have taken three naps right now and we
still haven’t arrived home, actually he is

driving to a different direction. We are

driving in silence, it’s actually comfortable.

Wait wait wait! What are we doing here? I’m

wearing indecent clothes, he turns to look

at me. “Come,” I don’t even know this place.

“Where are we?”
“Where are we?” my voice is flat, my
insides are turning, I don’t do well with
public spaces, okay that’s a lie, I just don’t
do well with public spaces when I’m

indecent.
“We are in Sandton, this is Pigalle
restaurant, woza sbani Sami,” (come my
lamp,)

“You should have warned me,” I sigh. Well,

I’m going inside with him in these indecent
clothes. No pajamas formed against me
shall prosper. He helps me climb off the

car and leads me inside. We are holding

hands.
People spare us only one of their precious
glances, I’m glad it’s only white people here
because if it were blacks, pictures would
have been clicked and I would be trending

on facebook right now.

He booked us a table and had to bribe the
manager because apparently they have a
dress code here, standards I tell you. Kwa

Sips in Soweto, you can literally go there

wearing your ANC t-shirt, an EFF headwrap
and DA sandals, they don’t care, as long as
you come and spend your money.

I go through their appetizer menu, Jesus

the words written there are out of this
world, the prizes too, yohhh I could buy a
whole 12,5 kg with the amount they are
prizing livers! God I’m gonna faint!
_
_

_
I’ve had my food, he ordered for me
because even now I’m not interested in

trying to bite my tongue in order to

pronounce those dish names!
“You are beautiful,” this is where I blush. “I
love your eyes, they tell me everything I

need to know about you, I love you

Sthandwa Sami. You are the best thing to
ever happen to me, I love how you are able
to voice our your concerns about me
without disrespecting me, I love how you
are emotionally there for me. It might
sound cliché, but I knew you were the one

for me when I first saw you. I knew you

were the half I have been waiting for all my
life, because with my heart I was able to
love you,” he says and gives me a smile.

Damnit, I’m crying. His words don’t sound

practiced, they are raw. That’s why they are
not said in order, that’s why I’m crying. He
gets up from his chair and comes to my

left side, he goes down on one knee.

“Ngenze indoda emadoden ube
ngumkami,” (make me a man amongst
other men and be my wife,) he says, I smile
and nod my head. And then I hear my
sister’s scream! Where are they coming
from? He slides the ring into my finger and

pulls my face for a kiss.

“there are elders in here baba,” that’s the
little brat, Othandiwe. If he wasn’t this tall
I’d be slapping his head right now.

“Seriously, find yourselves a room guys!”

bhut’ Sthelo says, wareva!
“I love you,” his eyes are shimmering, God
I’m so happy to see him happy, I love this

man. Not more than I love my ring though.

“I can’t wait to get you off your pajamas,”
he whispers in my ear, and I giggle.

_
_
_
NONTOBEKO SIBEKO

Hlanganani will be the death of me, I swear.

He just spilled all his semen in me. I’m
catching my breath while having him giving

me soft kisses on my face. It’s really hard

having sex with him, because I have to
muffle my moans, there are children in
here, so we can’t really get freaky.

“I love you sbutubutu,” he says, I smile at

him.
“I love you too,” he finally lies next to me,

holding me in his arms. I love him so much,

hard on the outside and soft in the inside is
his definition. I love the fact that he is not
ashamed of loving a person openly. I love

how he loves his brothers and would do

anything for them, he’s just an adorable
person.
“I want to send my uncles, I want to make

you my wife,” he says, okay now this is

weird. It will be like we are doing a
marriage contest with Nelly, hhaybo!
“Hawu, because Miyalo engaged Nelly?” I

ask giggling. He kisses my neck.

“No, I actually was the one to give Miyalo a
go ahead because I was already planning
on that, if I’m not married, they can’t get

married,” he says and lays a peck on my

cheek. He’s such a kisser, I’m amazed at
how he is able to keep his hands to himself

when we are in public, but in close doors he

actually gives physical affection.
“Okay,” I say and snuggle closer to his
warm embrace. His body is always warm,

whether it’s a cold day or not, it’s always

warm.
“I love you,” he says. I giggle, how many

more times do I have to hear this in order

for me not to get butterflies in my
stomach? I cannot get over this, I cannot
get over being loved.

“I love you too,” I say.

_
_

_
I fell asleep in the hands of a man that is
warm. A man that I love, and I’m waking up
in a cold bed, he’s gone. This is the only

part I hate about having to be dating him,

he leaves early, so early!
I wake up and make up my bed, before
taking a bath. It’s almost 6am when I finish

bathing and clothing myself.

I’m glad that I don’t really have to do much
for breakfast because Othandiwe and
Thandoluhle love soft porridge, so it’s not

really gonna be a struggle.

“Othi,” I yell, it’s almost 8am and they are

still in bed, God help me.

“Ma, I’m coming,” he yells back. He is
walking slow, his short right hand man
beside him. The both kiss my cheek before

sitting down. I giggle because Thandoluhle

probably doesn’t even know why they are
doing this, but because he does everything
his older brother does, he kisses my cheek

too.

“I woke up with an excruciating headache,”

my chest tightens at that instant, my brain

goes back to the first day Thandolwam

complained about headache. I quickly get
up, I want to inspect his head, God I can’t
lose him too. I was never ready! I can never

ever be ready for the death of a child. I

quickly remove his hoody, I almost faint
when I see a bullet wound on his head. I
can’t believe that I have been living with

this boy that calls me his mother, yet I

know so little about him. I feel bad, it
probably portrays me like a mother who is

uninterested about his life.

“What happened here,” I’m caressing it, he
looks down. His emotionless, this is
probably why! “Othandiwe!” I want to yell,

but my voice fails me. It cracks, tears fill

my eyes. Who could be cruel, so cruel that
they even shot my baby in his head.
“I don’t remember well mama,” oh God, my
child. I hug him and kiss the top of his
head.

_
_
Finale
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

CHAPTER 43

SITHELO BHEMBE

This girl probably went to the strongest

inyanga in the world, because it can’t be
that the love portion that she fed him is the
normal one, nope it can’t be. The way he
loves her is so abnormal in a normal way.
He loves her too much, and he doesn’t
care. If she really did give him a love
portion, he wouldn’t even hesitate to drink it

again if he was given a choice to drink it

willingly, he would even ask for more.
Loving her feels so right. She’s that middle
piece of a puzzle in his life, if she’s not

there then his life doesn’t make sense.

It’s been time now that he knew about her

condition, when he was doing some

background checks on her, he found our

that she had it and it was a result of
drinking too much pain killers, that can only
mean one thing, MaZungu was at fault. It
pained him that some children go through
things that they even think drugs are
solutions because if their parents, after all
what does he know? He grew up in a stable

home, his parents never argued in his

parents, they taught him how to love and
receive lovez he is in no position to judge.

He also found out that her father is a rich

business man, he is someone that’s very
close to them he’s a close associate with
Hlanganani, he was at her mother’s service

and that’s how she was conceived. He

knew nothing about her that’s why he
probably hasn’t reached out. He hasn’t said
this or mentioned anything to her because
she also says that she doesn’t need him in
her life. Also, he doesn’t really have a good
record regarding young girls, so it’s

probably better if he stays wherever he is,

unkown.

Today they are both off, well, only she is

off; but because she is off and he is a boss,

he is also off. They are in his house, that he

is planning to change soon because it has
memories of his ex wife, he wants to create

new memories with Thembekile in a new

house.
He pulls her closer to him, she is sleeping
peacefully, how can she be in peace when

she’s not in his embrace? He wraps his

hands around her and kisses her temple.
She is all he asked God for and more.
“I love you,” he whispers in her ears, before

yesterday, he doesn’t really remember

telling her that he loved her, but he does
love her, too much even. He said it
yesterday because she needed to hear it,

she needed to be certainly sure that he

loved her otherwise she would have left
him.

“It’s too early, why are you up?” she yawns

and tries to stretch her caged body. He
chuckles.
“It’s almost 8am, is that too early?” he asks.

“Yohh!” she exclaims. She’s tired.

“Babe, what are your plans for today?” he
asks caressing the softer parts of her body.
“I don’t know, I’m probably meeting up with

Ntobe and Nelly,” he sighs, if it was

possible he would have her here with him
everyday, he would even take her to work

everyday. He doesn’t really like being away

from her, it drives him insane.
“I miss you when you are not here,” he is
clingy.

“I miss you nami, but that doesn’t mean I

don’t have to go out,” she says and turns to
look at him. He looks teary, what? He
quickly buries his head in her neck. He

sighs, his warm breath feels too warm on

her skin, it’s creating tension, and she loves
it so much

“Babe, what’s wrong?” she asks. “Are you

crying?”
“I, I don’t want you to leave, I want you here
with me,” he says softly against her neck.

“Okay, I won’t go anywhere, but why are you

crying?” she asks.
“Eish, I don’t know, I think it’s hormones,” he
says and sighs. She softly giggles, what

hormones? Is he on his periods? She

giggles and kisses his temple.
_
_

_
HLANGANANI NTSHANGASE

“She saw my head baba,” Othandiwe is

pacing up and down. It’s so unlike
Othandiwe to come here alone, if he’s here,
then he is here with Thandoluhle.

“Who?” Hlanganani is puzzled as to why

Othandiwe is so stressed. Who saw his
head?
“Mom, she saw my head and she asked me

who did it, you know her tone changed, and

I told her that I didn’t remember correctly,”
he says and finally sits down with a heavy
sigh. Now it’s time for the father to do the

pacing around, he just remembered that he

shot his son and not only did he shoot him,
he shot him in the head. “We don’t have to

tell her,” Othandiwe says.

“She won’t know until when?” his chest is
tightening on him, it’s hard to breathe. He
feels like it’s better to tell her now, because

if she finds out on her own then they will be

damned.
“Until I don’t know when baba, but she
doesn’t have to know, because she might

want to leave you, and I don’t want that, if

she leaves you then it means she’s leaving
me,” he says and sighs.
“I’m sorry my boys,” if anything, it now feels

like he brings bad things only to those that

he loves, it’s he is a walking bad cloud.
“You have to stop apologizing, it’s weird,

I’m not angry at you baba,” Othandiwe says

and chuckles a little.
“I hurt you though, and I wasn’t even in your
life,” he says and sits down next to his son.

“You didn’t know about me baba, or you

were a Sangoma? You are a great father
and I love you,” he says, this has actually
started to sound like a song that needs a

producer, because he has been repeating

this over and over again.
Hlanganani sighs and sinks on the couch in
his office. Well, this better not slip up if

they are really gonna keep it a secret.

Othandiwe’s phone rings, it’s his mom.
“Mama… I’m still with dad… okay, tell him

I’m coming,” he bids his mother goodbye

and tells his father that he is heading home
because Thandoluhle is crying for him.
“I’m heading home too, there’s nothing

much I’m doing here,” Hlanganani says

packing up, Othandiwe is in awe, his father
is never home for supper, it’s really

surprising that he is going home early

today.
_
_

_
“Baba,” that’s Thandoluhle running in his
direction, he lifts him up and kisses his
forehead before walk to his mother and
lays a peck on her lips. How he wishes to
smooch her, but there are children in here.
“Mkami,” he waits to see her blush, she’s

just adorable. She’s hard not to love.

“Babakhe,” oh him? He doesn’t blush but
grins. Othandiwe takes Thandoluhle who is
looking between Hlanganani and Ntobe.

“Kunjani mama?” (how are you) he asks.

“I’m okay, why are you home early?”
“Hawu, awusangifuni lapha?” (you don’t me
here?) She just giggles. He steals a kiss

and tells her that he’s gonna take a quick

shower.
“I’ve spoken to oMalume, one of them
being Sthelo,” they all laugh, it’s really weird
that everyone assumes that he is older
because he is darker than the darkest

night, truth is Sthelo is older and is a bully,

but in the presence of people he acts like
an innocent boy.
“Okay?” she says am raising her brow,

they’ve just had dinner, and now they are

just chilling and catching up.
“Yep, so we’ve we’ve written a letter and I
need you to take it to Senzo, so he can let

your other uncle’s know too,” Ntobe sighs

and nods. She is damned, she thought this
would be easy, but it’s not because she has
no family. Where is she gonna begin
looking for uncles? Jesus!
“I’m calling it a night mina bazali, even
Thandoluhle is sleepy; baba think about

that offer,” Othandiwe says and takes

Thandoluhle and they head off to sleep
leaving Hlanganani clicking his tongue.

“What offer is he talking about?” Ntobe

asks.
“Uyadakwa lo, he says he wants to go back
to driving taxis,” Ntobe gasps, there’s a lot

she doesn’t know.

“He was a taxi driver?” Hlanganani nods,
“My God I’m not gonna have a taxi driver
son, Lord!” she exclaims.
“Why? What’s wrong with driving taxis?” oh
shit, she forgot that he’s also one of them.
“Lutho, but I want greater things for my

son, who shot him?” his chest tightens, and

his tongue is dry! What is he gonna say?

.
Finale

PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 44

STHELO BHEMBE
He vomits all that he ate and drank
yesterday, he rinses his mouth and flushes
everything. He sighs and heads to the

sitting room. He is feeling cold so he has a

blanket wrapped around him. It’s funny how
this 'fever' surfaced after Thembekile left.
Whoever is knocking shall not live to see

the next day, how dare they want him to get

up and open the door?
“Bafo!” thank God it’s Hlanganani.

“Come in,” he yells, and sighs.

“Bafoza,” this man looks like he is carrying
the world’s problems on his shoulders.
“Sure sesh,” he says. Hlanganani lightly

punches his shoulder.

“It’s so damn hot Bafo, why are you
wrapped in a blanket?” Hlanganani is

wearing a vest even.

“Thembekile is pregnant, and now I’m
facing the consequences,” he says and
sniffs, Hlanganani bursts out laughing.

“She put something in your food?”

Hlanganani asks. Sthelo shakes his head
no.
“Manje yin’ndaba?” (now what’s wrong?)

God he is so clueless, Sthelo is not in the

mood honestly.
“It’s called couvade, all the pregnancy
symptoms occur in me Bafo instead of

Thembekile,” Hlanganani laughs, he puts

his hand over his mouth to muffle it, but
tears form in his eyes instead, he is dead

with laughter.
“Voetsek,” Sthelo says and clicks his
tongue. “You forget that I’m older than you
lento emnyama!” (this black thing)

Hlanganani cracks up.

“So what’s gonna happen, will your tummy
grow?” Sthelo just gives him a death stare.
“Okay, sorry bhuti Sthelo,” Hlanganani says

and stretches before sighing, it was

actually nice having to look at someone
who has problems. “Does she know?” he
asks.
“No,” Sthelo quickly says and sighs, “she
will kill me, the day she finds out,” he says

and sigh.
“Well, congratulations bafo, and rest in
power, I’ll take care of your son for you,”
Hlanganani says and cracks up again.

Miyalo? And then when did he enter? He is

standing by the door, looking shaken. What
is this? A canter of shaken men? Sthelo

wonders.
“And then wena? Waba yinkukhu ethelwe
ngamanze ashisayo??” (Why do you look
like a chicken that was splashed with hot

water) Miyalo takes a seat and sighs

before sitting down.
“Nelisile is angry with me,” he says and

sighs again before burying his face in his

hands, damnit, he didn’t plan any of it to
happen, it was God’s plan wasn’t it?
“Why?” Hlanganani can’t wait to hear the

news, he finds joy in his brothers' pain.

“I don’t Know, she woke up and chased me
away today,” he sighs again, he knows very
well but he’s scared to let them know, they

both look strained even though Hlanganani

is cracking up.
“Everybody is pregnant, you also want to be
pregnant?” Hlanganani sings in a tone of

Maskandi music. Sthelo and Miyalo click

their tongues, Miyalo is a bit guilty because
he came inside her on purpose. He wants

her to carry his heir but now that it’s done

he is scared of her reaction, she’s already
tired of him before she even knows that he
made her pregnant.

“And then wena? What’s eating you up?”

they might as well make this room a men’s
conference room because they are here to

cry on Sthelo's shoulder.

“Eyy Sthelo Bafo, you know Nontobeko
asked me about who exactly shot
Othandiwe, I lied, I couldn’t gather the

courage to tell her that it was me, she told

me that if I don’t kill the man she will go to
a seer and bewitch the man,” okay this is

not a laughing matter, this a serious issue.

“So what? Are you planning on not telling
her?” Miyalo’s judging skills are out to play,
if this was vice versa Hlanganani wouldn’t

like it either so why is he doing it?

“I know it’s wrong Bafo, but for once, just
this once can you stop being an honest

person and be my brother? Just this once?”

this pierces right through Miyalo’s heart,
this means that his brother has never felt
his brotherly love, yet he can move

mountains for him.

“I’m sorry,” he says and zips his mouth.
“Thabk you,” Hlanganani sighs and sinks on
the couch, Sthelo hasn’t said anything, he
realizes and sighs.
“You know at the end of the day there are

some things that need to be hidden,

whether we like it or not. I think in just this
short space of time, we all got to know how
Ntobe is with her babies, she’s like a hen;

whether she forgives you or not, she will

always doubt you as a father, so I support
any decision you take, if you decide that it’s
better with her not knowing the truth, then I

support you hundred percent,” he says.

Hlanganani thanks him. “You can’t just
thank me, give me I’ve cubes and butter,”
Jesus!
_
_

_
MIYALO NTSHANGASE

He is lying on his stomach, when he came

back Nelisile wasn’t so bitter anymore, so

she let him in and offered to cook for him.
She probably could see the change in his
energy.

He feels tired, this happens to him every

time he takes one bath a day, but he’ll
survive this night without taking his second
bath.
“Babe, are you okay?” she says walking in
with a plate full of food.
“I’m not, I need you to be honest, ne?” he
says still not looking at her.

“Yeah?” she questions.

“What kind of a brother is Hlanganani?” she
sighs.

“Hlanganani is a blessing of a brother, he’s

supportive, he takes care of his own and he
loves them,” he nods.
“And me?” well, he said he wants her to be

honest maybe the truth is not what he

really wants to hear, but he needs to hear it.
“People wouldn’t think you are his brother,
you are not supportive towards him, you
care about everyone else but him,” she
says, there’s more, Miyalo says anything
without thinking about Hlanganani’s

feelings and it’s so heartbreaking to watch

because Hlanganani would literally do
anything for Miyalo, he could lay his life on
the line for him. She hears a sniff.

She puts her hand on his back and rocks

him back and forth.
“I’ll try to be a better brother,” he says and
releases a deep breath before getting up.

His eyes are bloodshot, he takes her hand

and kisses it, “thank you for always being
honest, no matter how much the truth hurts
him,” she smiles.
“I got you little boy,” she says and giggles.
Miyalo almost rolls his eyes, this girl is
dramatic. Her middle name should be

changed from Page to Drama.

“Another thing baby, please don’t slip and
tell Ntobe that Othandiwe was shot by
Hlanganani,” Nelisile's brows snap forming

a friend on her face.

“What do you mean by that? Do you mean
that I have a wet mouth,” okay that took a

drastic turn, so quick in a hurry!

“No, that’s not what I mean babe,” he says.
“What do you mean by slip? Do you think
I’m a fool? Miyalo get out, please,” God he
should have waited for her to be in a good
good mood.

“Babe it’s late, people might kill me out

there,” he says trying to plead his case.
“I don’t care Miyalo, I don’t care!” she says
“fokof, get out,” she’s cussing him, it takes

a lot in him to stay calm.

“Don’t cuss at me ke, I’m not your friend,
I’m your man,” she sighs and sits down.
“I’m sorry,” good! He takes his jacket.

“Where are you going?” she asks. He’s

already tired, can these nine months pass
by already?
“You said I should leave,” he says pointing

at the door.
“No, I didn’t,” God. Help. Him!

Finale
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 45

THEMBEKILE ZUNGU

I’m anxious, my hands are sweaty. My feet

too are failing me. I’ve been on birth
control, I’ve been doing things correctly for

the past few months, until I met Sthelo. I

became so reckless that I could not even
remember to drink my contraceptives.
Sigh!

For the first time ever I’m the one that’s

nervous because that the hell! How could I
have been so reckless. I haven’t been on
my periods for almost 2 months now. I

can’t be big, Nonto's traditional wedding is

in weeks and here I am, thinking that I’m
pregnant. Well, I’d like to have a baby, a

planned baby, I’m old and I think I’m

financially ready for a child because from
now onwards I’m not sending anyone
money.

I’m sitting on the toilet seat, waiting for my

results. Sthelo is asleep, I guess he has
fever I check the pregnancy test after

praying in tongues. My inner soul is happy

that there are 2 lines visible. I’m just not
sure how Sthelo will receive the news. I
don’t want to be misunderstood. But I know

that I need to tell him as soon as possible.

Um I wash my hands and head to the
bedroom. He is still sleeping and wrapped
in a in blanket. I do not know where this

fever is coming from.

“Babe,” I kiss his cheek.
“Mmm?” he mumbles, he is such a baby,
my 36 year old baby.

“How are you doing?” I ask, he sighs and

rubs his eyes before opening them.
“I’m okay, just tired and cold,” he needs to

recover soon, because the lobola

negotiations are taking place soon.
“I’m pregnant,” she blurts out and a quickly
covers her mouth.

“Really? Thank you baby,” he smiles and

gets up, not forgetting to lift the blanket
with him. “Are you happy about this?” He
asks, he is not shocked at all, it’s like he

knew.
“I am, are you?” I ask, I’m almost trembling.
“Yes, I am. My first child will be with the
woman I love whole heatedly. We need to

pay damages, and I know for sure that next

year you will be Mrs Bhembe, I want a
summer wedding with you,' he says and

coughs a little. Hid eyes are teary, “I love

you and thank you for making me a father
babe, I just hope you take back these
hormones of yours, aiii,” he says and goes

back to sleep. God must have written my

name in the books of those he loves
because wow!

“Do you think the baby will survive?” I ask.

Now I’m starting to panic. Jesus, I was
even drinking wine.
“Yes he will, if you stop drinking wine and

start drinking water, I’ll take you to a doctor

Monday,” I’m rolling my eyes.
_
_
I need to reduce my excitement, it might
happen that my child doesn’t survive
because I haven’t been taking care of my

health, really it will hurt but it would have

been my fault.
I’m cooking up a storm in the kitchen, the
storm that I’m cooking up is: boiled eggs

and jam. Thank God I’m not the one with

these crazy! Now everything is making
sense, why he suddenly gets sick in the
morning, it’s because of this pregnancy.

_
_
SENZO SIBEKO
Acceptance!
Although he is younger than her, there are
things that he didn’t want his sister to
engage in. Things like sex and being in a

relationship. She managed to be a good girl

until she turned 24 and then came home
with positive pregnancy tests, while he was
still shocked by that he then heard that the

father of the child she was pregnant with

had died and that the parents of the father
didn’t want anything to do with the children.

So he had to accept that his sister was not

a virgin, she was pregnant and that the
children had no father, on top of that she
was unemployed, or rather she was the
unemployment herself.
He scolded her but he made sure to hold
her hand through it all, he was present

when his sister gave birth, and he fainted,

not once but twice, he fainted for 2
seconds after each child’s birth he couldn’t

believe that his sister gave birth to twins.

Now he has to accept that she’s leaving,

not only she’s leaving she’s leaving with
Thandoluhle because Hlanganani is also

paying for him, he will identify as a

Ntshangase. He releases a breath and
sighs. Everything has been so heavy on him

that he couldn’t even concentrate, but now

he is pushing himself, he is trying and he
hopes and prays for better days.
“Malume, uphi ubaba,” (uncle, where is dad)

it puzzles everyone of them how

Thandoluhle is able to speak so fluently
after 3 years of being mute, well not totally
but… same difference!

“He’s back in Johannesburg, Bab’ Miyalo

will fetch you and Ma, he will take you to
him,” he says.
“Okay Malume, you should stop crying,

Thandoluhle said I should tell you that he is

okay and that he is with Gogo and Mkhulu
they don’t need you, ngifuna ubaba,” (I want
dad) Jesus, so much speech in one 3 year
old?
“You will see your father tomorrow,” Senzo

says and chuckles. He has to head back

inside, the lobola negotiations has already
taken place. Hlanganani didn’t pay the full
price, because it’s not really allowed.

“Gaz’ lam,” he says to Ntobe who looks

really happy, he smiles, it’s really refreshing
and heartwarming to see his sister in a

good space.
“Gazi, it’s done?” he smiles and nods, and
then the twins– Nelisile and Thembekile–
start to ululate, Jesus are they crying? He
quickly walks out, they ululations are
deafening.

_
_
It’s only 2 weeks for umembeso and the
other ceremonies to take place. He’s back

in Johannesburg and going through their

things because there’s not much to do in
this chouse besides being bored and bring
depressed. He stumbles upon a diary, it’s

dusty. He shakes it twice before reading his

sister’s name! Yohh she did these English
things clike keeping diaries. At school they
said it helps a lot with psychological

issues, so he once bought it for himself

and the only thing he wrote in there was the
date and 'dear diary' that’s all. Till today, he

doesn’t know where it is. They say this

thing is personal and confidential, but he is
black and depressed so reading other
people’s problems will probably brighten

his day. He wants to know who her first

boyfriend was and how old she was when
she had him, his Knobkerrie will probably
be useful.

**I was 8 and I remember the date very

Well, I remember that Senzo was crying
softly, even though he tried to muffle them,

I knew he was hungry. I had to do

something, I knew I had to do I sneaked out
and went to the nearest tavern, that’s where
he saw me, that old man I assume he

started targeting me from there, and when

he finally got a hold of me, he didn’t waste
any time, he closed my mouth and
penetrated me, I didn’t know what it was

but I knew that I didn’t like its pain and how

he would huff…** he closes the book, his
chest tightening! Fuck!

.
Finale

PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 46
***ONE MONTH LATER***

“Ya wena jwabu la Somizi,” (Somizi's

foreskin,) Senzo says and chuckles his pain
away. The last month has been hard on
him, he had to put up a strong façade all

the damn time! Knowing very well that his

sister was sexually abused at the age of 8
had him sobbing his nights away. It sure
ate him up, and the fact that he couldn’t

ask how she feels about that directly is

what killed him. It killed him because there
was no pain in her eyes, which meant that

there was plenty of that in her heart.

Finding him was hard because she hadn’t
mentioned who the man was, but he found
him, a month later, before he can walk his

sister down the aisle, the wedding is today.

He has his suit ready, after this he’ll take a
quick shower, he already has people that
will clean up for him.

Killing this fucking man will be his only way

of getting peace. He looked and looked for
him, until he found him, he found him in
another province Pretoria, or is it a city?

Same difference. He didn’t do Geography at

school, he went to school for breaks and
After schools, sometimes even free
periods, but during that time, his sister was

being raped, fucking raped!

“Senzo, what do you want from me, son?”

Son, he says. He always called him the that

when they were young, but never he knew
that he was abusing his little sister. Bab'
Cele, that’s what he used to call him, does

he deserve that kind of respect right now?

Definitely not. Bab’ Cele was one of the
men that was known to be kind-hearted

and loving, he always took care of those in

need, but he actually knew why he was
doing that, that was a cover up for his dirty
doings.

“Don’t you dare utter my name ngalowo

mlomo obomvu ngathi yibdunu yenkukhu,”
(with that red mouth that looks like a
chicken's ass,) he says and drags a chair
and sits opposite him. They are in
Hlanganani’s store room. Yep this is where
Hlanganani stores his taxis' wheels and

everything they don’t really use but will

need. He brought him here because there’s
an open space even here so this was
actually appropriate.

“Are we fighting?” the pervert asks, Senzo

takes his green fresh apple and slices is
slowly, matching the pace of how he
speaks, his eyes are concentrated on the

disgusting man that’s in front of him.

“Cha, not at all.” He says and sighs. Angrily,
he buries the full size of the knife inside the
apple and clicks his tongue, he keeps on
turning the knife, still not casting away his
cold glare from Bab’ Cele.
“Pho, yin'ndaba ngila?” (so, why am I here?)

His eyes are solely on the apple that Senzo

keeps on killing!
“Because, well you rape little kids,” he says
and shakes his head in disappointment.

“You always bought me sweets, it was a

way of you trying to blind me, thinking I’ll
never find out about the truth? Well, news

flash khehla, I just found recently and do

you want to know what I feel like?” Bab’
Cele quickly nods his head.
“Inside, I feel like this apple, I feel like a
knife has been put deep into my heart, and
it was stirred and stirred, but that’s not the

crazy part, the crazy part is that it’s still

working; I can still feel, but today I’m
putting all that shit aside,” he outs his gun
and shoots Bab' Cele’s knee before he

could beg him not to shoot him. Bab' Cele

cries in pain. Senzo laughs.
“How does it feel? Painful? I’m sure it’s not
how my 8 year old sister felt like when first

put that excuse of a penis in her,” he says

and aims for his ankle, a scream from Bab’
Cele is given. It’s music to Senzo's ears, he
watches as his blood oozes from the
wounds of the bullets, and before Bab’ Cele
knows it he has been shot on his shoulder.
“Kwanele bafo!” (that’s enough, brother)

What is this little Ntshangase doing here?

Okay maybe not so little because he is
older than him.
“Miyalo let me kill him,” Miyalo has

snatched the gun from him.

“Your sister needs you, Go home I’ll take
care if this,” Miyalo says not even looking at
Senzo. Senzo has never killed a person, so

this would take away a lot in him, unlike

him, he has been through it all, he’s killed.
“Give me that gun, if I don’t kill him,
kuyophela ngami,” (it will be the end of me,)
unexpectedly Miyalo blows the man’s
brains off.
“Go home,” he slightly raises his voice,

although it’s not as raised as it should have

been because he needs to respect Senzo.
“Alright, thaa,” he says and walks out. He
needs a smoke after this, he just saw a

Medulla Oblongata being turned into

mince.
_

_
_
NELISILE MAGWAZA

The way her dress hugs her perfectly, I

swear it was designed for her. She’s in a

white dress, it’s perfect and tight on her
body, Hlanganani is not in a suit, yep he is

in his Bheshu, he is actually wearing his full

Zulu attire. They look so beautiful together.
I’m just smitten. But mostly, the person
who has caught my eye is none other than

my boyfriend. He looks so cute in his Zulu

attire.

I’m jealous, they look so beautiful together,

these people were meant for each other.

We are eating now in the venue, they have

danced and said their beautiful vows. Did I
tell you that Miyalo is stiff and stubborn?

He is on the stage, breaking his leg.

“They look so happy,” Thembekile says
smiling.

“They are, I love them,” I say and giggles a

little. I stuff my face with food, God, who
cooked this food? Even sis’ Ntobe has
nothing on them.

“You eat a lot, even more than me, even

when I’m pregnant?” what? I could be
screaming right now but I have to hold it in.
“What??? Congratulations sisi,” she told me

about her kidney condition two weeks ago,

and now this? I’m wondering how many
more bombs are awaiting. Jesus, I’m so
happy for her, I should have seen the glow,

but I just thought it was just vitamin D. I

can be slow sometimes yaz. I reach out for
her hand and squeeze it lightly, she smiles

a little.
“When did you find out about this?” I ask.
“A few weeks ago, I had shipped my
periods,” periods! When last did I have my

periods!!! Jesus.
“I’m happy for you,” I say with my heart
beating almost out of my chest. I swallow

back the lump forming in my throat! I’m not

ready for a baby, I’ve just started saving
money for me to write my matric so that I
can go to school. I had everything planed, I

would do my psychology degree. I could

cry right now. I know I’m pregnant, it
explains why I have been moody these

days, the vomiting and all. God how am I

gonna tell Miyalo, he’ll feel like I’m trapping
him with this baby, okay that’s
exaggerating. I fan my face using my hand.

“I might be pregnant too!” I said that a bit

loud, God!!! Help!!! Me!!!

.
.

Finale
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 47

NONTOBEKO SIBEKO
I’m a wife! Lord I’m a wife, and a happy one

at that. Hlanganani makes me happy, he

made sure that he gave me the wedding I
dreamt off, even though he said he
wouldn’t wear a suit, so he opted for

iBheshu.
I’m looking at everyone gathered here, and
my heart is at peace, people are here to
celebrate Hlanganani and I, we met in less

than a year ago, and now we are married,

I’ve never been a girl that dreamt of her
wedding day and dress, I’ve never really, let
alone marrying Hlanganani. P Never have I

ever thought that I would be married to

Hlanganani Ntshangase in my life. I had
never thought that I would be accepted by

a 19 year old, he treats me like his queen,

heck I am his queen! I’d die and kill for
Othandiwe, Thandoluhle and him are my
life.

“Wifey,” Hlanganani, with a grin plastered

on his face says.
“Hubby,” I say and smile too, warmly.

“I can’t believe that we pulled this off, thank

you for being a reason for me to live, I love
you,” he says, God I blush. We said our
vows the traditional way, we said them

after the priest, so him saying this truly

melts my heart.
“I can’t believe it too, I love you too
Menziwa,” he looks away, he’s too late
cause I saw him flush, he’s blushing! I
giggle.

“You are blushing,” I state, he chuckles.

“Never, I’m just smiling Sthandwa Sami,” I
laugh and shake my head. He is in denial.
“Can we escape? I just want Mgazi to have

a conversation with you,” Jesus! I shake my

head no, “please, it will be just a quickie,” he
says.
“Do you even know what a quickie is?” I

ask. He chuckles.
“I’ll try being quick,” he mouths.
“No,” I say and giggle. I catch Senzo
staring, so much pain in his eyes. Sadness
clouds me, but my face stays neutral, I
can’t ruin our day by. Senzo looks away

after giving me a small smile. I miss him,

my brother.
_
_

_
I don’t know how I feel about leaving my
children here and going away for a while.

Damnit I never even knew that there was a

place called Island Of French Polynesia. I
just heard of it now that we are all gathered
in the dinning room.
“That’s really a nice place to go, you should
take pictures at the Bora Bora island,”
Thembekile says, she’s excited, I am too,

but my heart is with my brother and sons.

“I will,” she announced that she was
pregnant a few weeks ago, and I was
actually surprised because nothing

screams pregnancy about her, she’s just

glowing.
“And call to update us,” she adds. I giggle
and tell her I will.

“Nelly, where is your mind?” she seems a

little disturbed. She snaps her eyes to my
direction. Okay we will revisit this topic.
“I’m okay, just tired,” the boys need to leave,
but I don’t know how I will get them to
leave.

“Come let’s go watch Keeping Up With The

Kardashians,” Thembekile comes to the
rescue, thank Goodness! We all get up and
rush to the TV room.

“I need pregnancy test,” she’s pacing up

and down. Jesus! She’s suspecting
pregnancy?

“Okay, I’ll have someone deliver them here,”

Thembekile always comes to the rescue.
“You think you are pregnant?” I ask sitting
down.
“Yes, and I’m so damned, Miyalo will think
I’m trying to keep him or trap him with a
baby,” Miyalo of another generation would

think so. Miyalo loves Nelly, I see it in the

way he looks at her.
“No, I don’t think he would,” I say.
“Sister in law duties,” Thembekile says and

we burst out laughing.

_
_

_
MIYALO NTSHANGASE

“Bafo,” he calls Hlanganani. Hlanganani

looks his way and smiles lifting his brow.

“Can I have a word with you?” his voice is

shaky, Hlanganani is already alarmed, his
smile has been wiped off his face.

They follow each other to the balcony,

Hlanganani outs his cigarette and lights it
before puffing and pulling from it.
“I’ve been an asshole of a brother, haven’t

I?” Miyalo says after exercising his breaths.

“No, you weren’t,” Hlanganani says weirdly
looking at him, what is he up to?
“Look Bafo, I know I have been, and I’m

sorry for being a pain in the ass, it’s just

that sometimes I let emotions take over,”
he says.
“I know you Bafo,” Hlanganani is

desperately trying to brush this topic off, he

really doesn’t want any apology, this is his
boy– intwana yakhe!

“I’m really sorry Bafo, I shouldn’t be making

any excuses, I don’t deserve you, but I’m
happy I have you, you are my life, the
reason I’m living today. I don’t know how I

will ever repay you,” Hlanganani sighs,

there’s no running away from this topic is
there?
“Talking about repaying, I know how you

can repay me, first, promise me that you

will,” he says.
“Yes, I will bafo, anything,” Miyalo says.
“There’s a friend of mine who has a friend

that has a friend that has a friend,” he

begins, Miyalo is already impatient. “So, we
got you accepted for a flying six months

training,” what?
“Wena uyingilosi,” (you are an angel) Miyalo
says and gives his brother his warmest
hugs. “Also I’m proud of you, husband to

someone,” Miyalo wiggles his brows.

“I don’t want to die without having to get
into a plane flown by you, I love you gaz

lami,” he says and pats his shoulder. “I’ll be

drowning in cake today, I tell ingquza
edlelwa emthethweni,” (pussy that’s eaten
legally) Hlanganani says and they laugh.

“I love you too, Bafo,” awkward silence!

They both burst out laughing before they
head back inside the house.

_
_
Miyalo and Nelly are driving back to Protea
with Thandoluhle and Othandiwe, these

kids cannot he separated, so they decided

to take them both. Hlanganani and Ntobe
are leaving early tomorrow, and apparently
they don’t trust that Othandiwe will be a

good child enough to keep the house intact

until they are back so they decided to hand
them over to their uncles, they will be
rotating between the two houses, Miyalo’s

and Sthelo’s, next week Othandiwe is going

to school, Hlanganani managed to get him
space for the second semester, he doesn’t

want to go to school but he has no choice.

Nelly is quiet, she’s awfully quiet and it’s
really odd.
“Babe, are you okay?” he whispers for the

kids not to hear

“Yes, I’m okay baby,” she says. He puts his
hand on her thigh and focuses on the road,
well not mainly, because he keeps on

stealing glances of Nelly.

.
.

Finale
PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
CHAPTER 49
OTHANDIWE MHLONGO

They are cuddled in bed and watching

Regular show, imagine. A taxi driver
watching Regular show, but his little man

loves them so there’s really nothing he can

do about it. It’s funny how he’s found his
whole family and a whole lot more in just a
short space of time, God lives it’s true. He

is grateful for his family, even though they

are trying to ship him away.
Thandoluhle and him are practically what
they call in isiZulu 'izithupha ogwayini' they

get along so well and he feels like it’s

impossible for him to live without
Thandoluhle by his side. He knows that
Thandoluhle is way too young, but the
connection they have is just unmatched.
He feels strongly about him.
Sometimes he sits and thinks and comes

up with theories, like sometimes he thinks

that Thandolwam was born for a reason, he
was here to make sure that his parents
meet. Although his death was painful, he

feels like he wasn’t meant to live, he was

too sweet for this life thing, and then his
twin! This boy is just something else, he
talks whenever he wants. What

Thandoluhle does without being asked is,

waking up every time when it’s dusk and
waits for the moon to be up so that he can
talk to Thandolwam. Thandoluhle believes
that Thandolwam is in the moon.
They’ve let him bond with this boy and now
next week he has to go to school, how

unfair is that? He can’t really tell them that

he doesn’t want to go to school, Bab'
Miyalo will surely kick him his boots on his
mouth.

“Bafanas,” he says, Thandoluhle just turns

his head to give him his attention. “Come
let’s stretch out legs for a moment,”

Thandoluhle jumps up and quickly puts on

his sneakers.

“Ma,” he says to a better looking Nelly, “We

are going to the shop,” he is holding his
breath, he cleaned the dishes so there can’t
be anything that might make mam' Nelly
say no.

“Okay baby,” his face flushes, he’s not a

child! But he quickly smiles and takes his
little Brother's hand.

“Ya, cheese boy,” they are definitely not

talking to him. “Yewena mnyamane!”

(blackie) okay they are talking to him. He
clenches his jaws and balls his fists.
“Do I look like a cheese boy?” surely

wearing sweatpants doesn’t determine the

amount of money you have. Even before
his father knew about him, he has always
liked wearing sweatpants, they are
comfortable.
“Hee, even the attitude is of a cheese boy,”

one says to the other two of them. There is

3 of them, all of them are pale, but it’s the
dirty kind of pale, they speak Zulu that is
mixed with Sotho and Afrikaans. With him

it has always been plain Zulu or English.

“Thandoluhle, go home,” he tells his
brother. These ones have a story! When
there’s a new 'kid' in the township they

initiate him, that’s the rule of every

township, but not him he is not about to be
initiated, he’ll be taking them through the
right process of initiation.
Thandoluhle is hesitant but he turns back
and runs home.
“Ya nina misunu, nithini?” (you assholes,

what are you saying?) Maybe he could have

avoided them and maybe they would have
let him leave because he wouldn’t have
sworn at them, but to be honest he needs

this. He needs to release some if his

steam, steam that he held in for long. His
hands are itching. Fists need to be thrown!

They need to land on somebody’s jaws.

“What is he saying,” they are talking among
themselves. He hates that.
“Ngiqonde,” his adrenaline rush has

escalated already. “I thought you were

men,” he shakes his head disappointed, he
wanted this fight so bad, but he couldn’t

start it because, his uncle! They are

chickening out, it’s only 3 footsteps to get
to him from them but they are just boys, he
sighs and clicks his tongue “never waste

my time like this again,” he continues to

walk. He is not waking home, he just needs
to breathe a little. He buries his hands deep
inside his pockets.

_
_

“Heyyy,” it’s a female's voice, her voice is so

sweet, so sweet; he stops and freezes, she

is walking closer, he hears her footsteps.
She touches his shoulder, and he feels a
hot wave running through his skin. He turns

and looks at her, his expression still blank.

“You dropped this!” Oh his phone, he sighs
and takes it before thanking her. She’s
beautiful, too light skinned, his heart beats

hard against his chest, it’s threatening to

fall. There’s a staring contest between
them, her eyes are burning him, she looks
16 or 17. The staring is too intense, so he

tears his eyes away from her.

“Yewena Thandoluhle!” damnit, what a
great timing!
“Ma!” he jogs back to Nelly who has

Thandoluhle in her arms. When he gets to

her, she stands on her toes and pulls his
ears, Jesus, he is never coming back here,

he is embarrassed for life, the girl is

looking at him and giggling.
“Manpho!” Nelly yells, still pulling
Othandiwe with his ears, and waves her

hand towards the beautiful girl’s direction,

oh they know each other, they exchange
greetings before Nelly drags Othandiwe

home with his ears.

“So you are now fighting? You are our new
Rambo, do you want your own Street
Fighter movie?” Rambo is the title of a

movie, and besides he is not the star in

Street Fighter, Van Damme is the Star, but

he won’t say anything.

_
_
_

MIYALO NTSHANGASE
He knows that Senzo is not okay so he has
given himself a task to check on him
everyday until he agrees to take their offer

of getting him a therapist.

He parks at the gate and heads inside
humming a song. He knocks and knocks,
there is no answer so he pushes the door

open and gets in, It’s awfully quiet in here,

he sighs and looks around before telling

Senzo’s name
The first thing that gets his attention is a
white paper on the table, it’s not a full A4
paper, it’s cut in between, so he takes it z

he is not prying, he is just curious.

**Dear Dadewethu
My love for you is greater than the love I

have for myself. You are my life, there’s no

Senzo without Nontobeko. For the longest
time I have been used to 'Senzo and Nonto,'
but you were taken away from me, it was

my last straw– I tried to hold on until I

couldn’t, the more I tried was the more I
sank. Everything seems to be slipping away
from me, except the pain, it’s hard gazi, it’s

so hard. Recently I found out about what

Cele did to you, that he raped you and I
found myself thinking why you didn’t tell

me. I found myself wondering if my

relationship with you was one sided, but it
doesn’t matter. I couldn’t stand the pain
sisi, I’m sorry, take care of Thandoluhle, I

know you two are in good hands, I love

you.***

Bullshit, fucking bullshit. His head is

spinning. He quickly stands and inspects

the whole house looking for Senzo, he has

to be somewhere in here.
He is in his room, he hanged himself and
kicked the bucket off, he quickly unties him
and checks his pulse…

PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS
FINAL CHAPTER

>>Sponsored by Kwanele Hlatshwayo<<<

OTHANDIWE MHLONGO

Ma keeps on hitting her knuckles on the

table, I don't think she even realizes that
she is. She is stressed about something
and I know what it is that's stressing her,
it's bab' Miyalo.
"Koko," someone says behind the door, they

knock verbally and also knock their

knuckles on the door, he looks at Nelisile,
she seems not to have heard it so he gets
up and goes to check the door.

"Mampho," the word escapes his lips. She

smiles at him.
"Hey, ojwang?" (how are you?) how he

wishes to return her smile, but it's no use

smiling and having the smile not reach your
eyes.
"I'm good how are you?" he asks.
"I'm good too, is MaNelly around?" she
asks, he nods his head like a three year old.
"Yeah, she's home," he says. Her beauty

hypnotizes him, he feels like kidnapping her

just so he can have enough time to watch
her and study her features.
"My mom sent me to her, she said I should

give her this," she gives him money.

"Othandiwe, why aren't you letting the child
in?" God, he has no manners! And when did
Nelly wake up.

"Eish, sorry ma," he says and moves to the

side, she smiles at him yet again. Jesus,
her smile is perfect.
"Ojwang ma?" she asks with a smile. Her
nickname that he is giving her from today
is 'Smiley'.

"I'm good baby, tell your mother I said thank

you," Othandiwe quickly gives Nelly the
money and scratches his head looking
between Nelly and her.

"Okay ma, I'm leaving now, goodbye," she

says.
"Accompany the poor girl Othandiwe,
hawu," Nelly says carelessly and turns to

Mampho and says goodbye to her.

"Come let's go," he says and let her lead the

way.
"Othandiwe, that's a beautiful name," she
says.
"Thank you," he says, he means it, but it

comes out dryly.

"Where do you live?" he asks.
"Not far, just 2 streets away," he nods and
shuts his mouth.

"You are beautiful," someone please also

his mouth for him.
"Thank you Othi," his mother calls him that,

Nonto, he misses her.

"We've arrived, thank you," she says.

"It's a pleasure, I'd like to see you again
tomorrow," she shies away from his gaze.

"Why," she asks.

"Because I like you," aren't they too young
for 'likes?'

"That doesn't mean that you should see

me, Goodnight Othi," she walks away.
"Tomorrow at 6pm, please," he yells and
watches her leave, he turns back once he's

seen her get inside the house.

_
_
_

NELISILE MAGWAZA

I'm stressed, it's been more than 10 hours

since Miyalo has left the house and till now

he hasn't come back home. At first I was

angry, but now I'm worried.
"Maybe he's held up somewhere," That's my
sister, taking his side, she's supposed to be

on my side.
"He would have called to let me know sis'
Theh," I say heaving a sigh.
"Yes, but he didn't, he'll be back, and I'm

sure there's an explanation for him not

being home," tears start to burn my eyes.
I'm thinking of the worst.
"What if..." they are gushing down my face,

and I know that pregnancy has a lot to do

with me crying lately.
"No, what ifs babe, Miyalo will be back
home, intact," she says. I sigh and nod my

head. I really hope he is okay, my single

dimpled dark man, I don't know if I'd survive
if he were to die.

_
_
_
MIYALO NTSHANGASE

He's been standing over him, shocked as

why he didn't speak. Clearly there has been
a lot he's been going through, and that he

has been wanting to end it all, but why

now? When his sister has just found
happiness.
If a fool was to read that letter that would

think that Senzo is blaming Nontobeko but

in all honesty that letter clearly states that
Senzo has been trying to hold on because

he had a reason, and now that she's found

someone to take over he feels like it's time
for him to rest.

He sighs and sits down. It was already late

when he got here, if only he got here earlier

than he did, they probably would have been
able to save him. But he is not sure that

they would have been able to save him

from himself.

He's been here the whole day, he locked the

door and made sure to close the windows

and curtains, he kept quiet when two

people knocked. It's only him that should
know how Senzo died. Not even his

brothers will know.

He takes the letter that he had put down.

He looks for matches, and then he lights it

up, and watches it turn into ash.

He then sits back down and faces the
ceiling.
"I'm sorry Bafo, that we didn't really pay

attention to you and how you felt; you

know, Hlanganani has always felt that you
were not okay, he'd do anything for you," he
releases a sigh, he won't cry, he swears

that he won't! "We'll take care of them, I'm

sorry I had to do this to protect your sister,"
he polishes his gun and shoots him twice,
he's dead but shooting him feels like he is

killing him, it brings tears to his face.

_
_

_
He didn't sleep home, he couldn't have
went home dirty. he had blood on his
hands, well not literally, but shooting a

person– whether they were already dead or

not– is a big deal. The fact that his
girlfriend is pregnant and there are children
at home, made going back home

dangerous so he had to do a fast

cleansing, so he went to the Hostel in
Soweto, the Sangoma cleansed him before
they slept.
He told his friends at hostel to roughen him
up a little, it was either that or have Nelly go

crazy about him cheating. If he was yellow

he'd have visible bruises, but right now the
only things he has on his face are cuts. Oh
and he threw his shoes away.

He is being driven home by Langa who

keeps on blobbing his head back and forth,
he is vibing to uMaskandi while he is
worried sick about Nelly, Lord help him.

_
_
_
NELISILE MAGWAZA

I didn't sleep a wink yesterday! I kept on

tossing and turning hoping for Miyalo to be

back everytime I turned, but guess what, he

wasn't back, he still isn't and I'm absent
mindedly cooking soft porridge for the
boys

I got a call from Nontobeko today morning,

she was crying saying that Senzo has
passed on. She said they were on their way
and they'd be back by 6pm, she said I

should tell Miyalo to take us to their house

with the boys, do I guess we'll spend the
rest of our day there.
I can't believe Senzo died, whoever killed
him doesn't deserve to live, he was a happy
soul. I had never heard him clicking his

tongue because he was angry at someone,

he was just always smiling, I'm saddened
by this and I'm wondering how Ntobe is
coping, she just lost her son for goodness

sake!

I hear the sound of a car pulling up outside,

I quickly take my cooking pin and walk
outside, I swear if he was out cheating! he'll

know me very well. This is not his car,

however Miyalo is the one to come out
from the car, Jesus!
He is bruised, he is not wearing any shoes
and his clothes are not in a good state. I
rub towards him, and hug him until he

groans in pain.
"Baby," I say, "What happened?" he sighs.
"I was hijacked near Hostel on my way
back home so I turned back to the hostel, I

have no phone or anything with me, I'm

sorry I didn't inform you," he says.
"It's okay baby, I'm just glad you are okay."
We walk back inside, his driver didn't grave

is with his presence, he just dropped him

off and drove off. We sit down and I tell
him about Senzo being dead, he is
shocked, I wonder how Othandiwe and
Thandoluhle will take this if he is this hurt.
"I'm sorry Sthandwa Sami," he nods his

head and sighs.

"It's life what can we say?" he takes my
hand and kisses it, "I love you," he says.
"I love you even more," I smile at him. My

pot is burning! I quickly run to the kitchen

to check it. He is chuckling, mxm!

THE END