Isr J Psychiatry Relat Sci Vol 46 No.

1 (2009) 45–52

What Shy Individuals Do to Cope With Their Shyness: A

Content Analysis and Evaluation of Self-Selected Coping
Strategies
Bernardo J. Carducci, PhD

Shyness Research Institute, Indiana University Southeast, New Albany, Indiana, U.S.A.

Abstract: A content analysis of the written responses of 158 shy individuals was performed to investigate the nature of
the self-selected strategies they reported using to deal with their shyness. The classification, along with the frequency
of their use, of the self-selected strategies by four raters identified 10 separate categories, with the top five labeled
forced extraversion (65%), cognitively induced self-reassurance (26%), educational extraversion (15.2%), sought
professional help (14.6%), and alcohol-assisted extraversion (12.7%). An evaluation of the self-selected strategies
indicated that they were associated with characteristic features that were incomplete, self-defeating, and/or poten-
tially dangerous (e.g., self-medication). Suggestions as to how shy individuals might improve the effectiveness of
these self-selected strategies for dealing with their shyness and the therapeutic implications associated with seeking
professional assistance for shyness are presented.

Introduction research on shyness, Carducci and his colleagues

have employed a more qualitative approach to the
While estimates of social phobia in the general study of shyness that involves the use of content
population are approximately 12% (1), estimates analysis to investigate the extended written com-
of self-reported shyness have remained steady at ments of non-collegiate samples of shy individuals
approximately 40% (2–4). In a cross-cultural com- to examine what they believe, and stated in their
parison of eight countries, estimates ranged from a own words, to be the cause of their shyness and
low of approximately 30% in Israel to a high of ap- how shyness has affected various aspects of their
proximately 60% in Japan and Taiwan, with Mexico, lives (5).
Germany, Newfoundland, and the U.S. falling in In an attempt to extend previous research seek-
between (4). In response to such pervasiveness, ing to understand how shy individuals experience
within the last 25 years, the contemporary litera- their shyness, as well as to continue the develop-
ture on shyness represents a steady progression of ment of a more ecologically valid perspective to the
development characterized by an increasing level study of shyness through the qualitative analysis
of theoretical, methodological and clinical sophis- of personal documents, the purpose of the present
tication (3, 5). However, concerns have been ex- study was to investigate the extended written re-
pressed with respect to the extent that this research, sponses of shy individuals describing what they re-
which tends to rely primarily on the use of college port doing to deal with their shyness. Since survey
students completing fixed-format questionnaires, research indicates that over 66% of shy individuals
to study the definition, causes and treatment of believed their shyness could be overcome and over
shyness accurately reflects the actual nature of how 80% express a willingness to do something about
shyness is experienced by shy individuals in their it (2, 7), a more complete understanding of what
everyday lives (6). To address these concerns re- shy individuals say they actually do to deal with
garding the ecological validity of much of the past their shyness has both theoretical implications for

Address for Correspondence: Bernardo J. Carducci, Director, Shyness Research Institute, Indiana University Southeast,
New Albany, Indiana, U.S.A. 47150. E-mail: bcarducc@ius.edu.

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 46 Self-Selected coping strategies

shyness researchers when investigating the under- your shyness,” were examined by four indepen-
lying dynamics of shyness and practical consider- dent raters, each of whom were assigned to read
ations for mental health professionals who provide independently the written responses of 40 of the
support to shy individual seeking assistance for respondents within a one-week period (two sur-
dealing with their shyness. A secondary purpose veys were discarded because of incomplete infor-
of the present study was to establish further the mation). As they were reading the responses, the
validity of employing qualitative methodology as raters were instructed to highlight those statements
an additional paradigm in the study of shyness reflecting any form of action taken by the partici-
(5), which reflects an emerging trend in the use of pants to deal with their shyness. After reading and
qualitative research to investigating psychological analyzing the extended written responses, the rat-
processes (8). ers returned together one week later for a rating
session. In the rating session, the raters took turns
Method reading out loud to the other raters statements they
identified as self-selected strategies the shy indi-
Participants viduals implemented to deal with their shyness.
The qualitative analysis of extended written com- Examples of these extended written statements
ments examined in the present study was based are provided in the Results section as part of the
on 158 self-labeled shy individuals (68 males and analysis of the self-selected strategies. As each sum-
87 females, with three respondents failing to in- mary description was presented to the raters, they
dicate gender, ranging in age from 12 to 63) who discussed with which other descriptions it seemed
completed a shyness survey appearing in the Nov./ most similar. The discussion was moderated by the
Dec. 1995 issue of Psychology Today (3). The respon- author to prevent individual raters from exerting
dents, who represented a variety of educational undue influence on the other raters. After consen-
levels and ethnic backgrounds, were selected from sus was reached among all four of the raters, the
a larger national sample of over 800 respondents statement was listed with other similar statements
who returned the surveys through postal mail to reflecting similar strategies. This procedure was
the author within a six-month period that began followed until all of the statements were considered
in November 1995. All of the participants were as- and classified. Thus, each statement was classified
sured confidentiality of their responses. by its dominant feature.

Materials Results

The extended written responses used in the con- The classification and organization of the descrip-
tent analysis of the present study were based on tive statements yielded 10 distinctively different
the responses of the participants to open-ended categories of self-selected strategies the shy indi-
questions contained in a Psychology Today Survey viduals reported using to deal with their shyness,
on Shyness (3). The shyness survey consisted of ten each of which is described in detail below. Overall,
fixed-format items, e.g., How often do you experi- 91.2% of the respondents tried at least one strategy
ence (or have you experienced) feelings of shyness? to overcome their shyness, 40% tried two strategies,
(every day; almost everyday; often, nearly every and 15% tried as many as three strategies, while
other day; once or twice a week; occasionally, less 8.2% stated they had tried nothing and 0.6% did
than once a week; rarely, once a month or less) and not indicate a response to the open-ended question.
five open-ended questions, e.g., Describe what fac-
tors you believe have contributed to your shyness. Strategy-by-strategy analysis and evaluation
The strategy-by-strategy analysis of the results in-
Classifying the self-selected categories cluded an assessment of the frequency of relative
The written responses to the open-ended ques- use of a particular strategy and a sample of per-
tion, “Describe what you have done to deal with sonal statements provided by the shy individuals

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 Bernardo J. Carducci 47

describing their efforts. A qualitative evaluation mentioned by 26%. Cognitively induced self-
of the potential strengths and limitations of each reassurance is characterized primarily by the shy
self-selected strategy was also performed as part of individuals creating a set of cognitions that reflects
the strategy-by-strategy analysis. self-affirming statements and attempts to minimize
the perceived threats of social situations; it involves
Forced extraversion shy individuals basically trying to change the way
The most frequently self-selected strategy employed they think about their shyness and about other
by shy individuals to deal with their shyness was de- people. A sample of the comments reflecting this
fined as “forced extraversion,” mentioned by 66.5%. strategy include:
Forced extraversion is characterized primarily by
the shy individuals forcing themselves to go to “I have tried to convince myself that what other
public places where they would be in the presence people think shouldn’t bother me. I have been
of other individuals and/or forcing themselves to trying to completely change my mindset and out-
initial a plan of action that involves interacting with look on other people.”
others. Shy individuals indicated that they went to
parties, bars, dances, the mall, and/or took classes “Talking to myself, running a movie in my head of
in an attempt to place themselves in the proximity the right thing to do in a certain situation. This
of others. The primary focus of this strategy seems only works in situations that are not entirely over-
to be that of shy individuals taking action to place whelming. What else can I say? I hate it.”
themselves in the proximity of others by going to
social situations, which is consistent with the previ- While the importance of the cognitive component
ously established sociability component of shyness of shyness is well documented (11, 12), simply try-
(9, 10). Comments reflecting this strategy include: ing to talk or think themselves into not being shy
is not enough. Along with addressing the cognitive
“I have tried to overcome my shyness by being component in the therapeutic intervention of shy-
around new people as much as possible and getting ness (13), shy individuals must also know how to
involved in the conversation; however, after a few respond appropriately in social situations when in
seconds I become quiet. I have a problem keeping the presence of others (14, 15).
the conversation flowing.”
Educational extraversion
“[I] say ‘the hell with it’ to myself and force myself The third-most-popular strategy reported by shy
to do or say something.” individuals to deal with their shyness was defined
as “educational extraversion,” mentioned by 15.2%.
“I have tried to get more involved socially, realizing Educational extraversion is characterized by the
that the next person could be just as shy.” general theme of shy individuals seeking to gain
information and educating themselves about their
While such a strategy has merits, shy individuals do shyness in an attempt to overcome it. To gain such
not seem to use the time they spend in the prox- information, shy individuals reported reading self-
imity of others very effectively. More specifically, help books and attending seminars and workshops.
it has been observed that while attending social A sample of the comments reflecting this strategy
situations, shy individuals are less likely to initi- include:
ate conversations with other people and spend less
time at the event (10). “I have taken workshops – assertiveness, persuasion,
art appreciation and joined support groups in the
Cognitively induced self-reassurance hope I will learn to feel more comfortable going
The second-most-popular strategy selected by over to a person after a session and saying hello.”
shy individuals to deal with their shyness was “I have read many, if not all self-help books on
defined as “cognitively induced self-reassurance,” the subject of shyness and related topics, bought

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 48 Self-Selected coping strategies

self-help tapes, etc. They’re all good at explaining this strategy is that not enough shy individuals
the many different aspects of shyness and social seem to be utilizing it.
anxiety but have little when it comes to treatments
(effective or specific).” Alcohol-assisted extraversion
The fifth-most-popular strategy utilized by shy in-
Attempts to better understand and deal with their dividuals to deal with their shyness was classified as
shyness by seeking information through the self- “alcohol-assisted extraversion,” mentioned by 12.7%.
guided reading of therapeutically themed material Alcohol-assisted extraversion is characterized by
(e.g., self-books, literature, pamphlets) is consistent shy individuals utilizing an assortment of non-
with the basic premise of bibliotherapy (16, 17). prescription drugs and alcohol as a social lubricant
Obtaining knowledge about the nature and dynam- in an attempt to reduce the tension and anxiety
ics of shyness through self-help books and seminars associated with what they perceived as threaten-
can help shy individuals make more informed deci- ing social situations. A sample of the comments
sions about how to control their shyness, provided reflecting this strategy include:
such information is based on sound research and
produces the necessary psychological processes “In social situations, I will use alcohol moderately to
(e.g., identification, catharsis, insight) required for relax and be less self-conscious and more outgoing.”
change to occur (16, 18). Under these conditions,
the only limitation with the self-selection of this “Since I’m in college now, most of the social func-
strategy is that not enough shy individuals seem tions involve alcohol. I admit I use it as a social
to be utilizing it. lubricant. If there is a social function with a large
group of people that I’m uncomfortable with, I will
Sought professional help not go unless there is alcohol.”
The fourth-most-popular strategy utilized by shy
individuals to deal with their shyness was labeled The previously established sociability component
as “sought professional help,” mentioned by 14.6%. of shyness (9, 10) seems to be a critical element
The seeking of professional help is characterized by in the selection of alcohol-assisted extraversion
shy individuals participating in an assortment of as a self-selected strategy as some shy individuals
treatment programs guided by a variety of mental tended to use alcohol to help make it easier for
health professionals to overcome their shyness, in- them to interact with others. The use of alcohol to
cluding one-on-one therapy, group therapy, self-es- facilitate social interaction has been found to be
teem enhancement workshops, stress-management associated with substance abuse in shy adolescent
seminars, assertiveness training classes, Toastmas- males (19) and undergraduate college students in
ters, and prescription medications. A sample of the the U.S. (20).
comments reflecting this strategy include: In addition to the personal concerns for shy
individuals, the notion of alcohol-assisted extra-
“I got involved in therapy and a twelve-step pro- version raises some professional issues as well. A
gram two years ago and my life improved.” concern is that almost as many shy individuals
elect to deal with their shyness by self-medicating
“I’ve been in psychotherapy for two years. It has themselves as those seeking professional help. Sec-
helped me a lot, but I still have a long way to go to ondly, it reflects the belief that if you have to drink
becoming the fearless extrovert I would like to be.” to be social, whether you are shy or not, you have
a problem with alcohol that needs to be addressed
“I’ve joined a couple of social anxiety phobia groups (21, 22). Both of these concerns suggest that mental
which were of some help.” health professionals working with shy individuals
should pay special attention to the possible pres-
As the statements reflect, such actions seem to help. ence of alcohol-related problems. A sample of com-
However, the principal limitation associated with ments reflecting this issue include:

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 Bernardo J. Carducci 49

“To overcome shyness I’d drink and take tranquil- extraversion was the most frequently selected first
izers and have overdosed as a result.” (44.9%), second (40.3%), and third (30.4%) strategy.
Cognitively induced self-reassurance was the sec-
“My problem created by my shyness is alcoholism ond most frequently selected first (15.2%), second
and drug abuse and loneliness.” (14.5%), and third (26.1%) strategy. Alcohol-as-
sisted extraversion (12.9%) and sought professional
Residual strategies help (11.3%) formed another cluster of two strate-
In addition to the five major strategies, five addi- gies tried for second while educational extraversion
tional “residual strategies” utilized by shy individu- (21.7%) was a frequently appearing third strategy.
als to deal with their shyness were also identified, All of the remaining residual strategies had ordinal
with each strategy being mentioned by 10% or less. frequencies of less that 10%. The pervasiveness of
The “other strategies” category was mentioned by forced extraversion as a self-selected strategy for
9.5% of the respondents and included an assort- dealing with shyness supports the sociability com-
ment of strategies reported by shy individuals to ponent of shyness (9, 10).
deal with their shyness that did not fit into any of
the other categories (e.g., “I have tried being hu- Discussion
morous and smiling often and laughing often”). In
the “did nothing” category, 8.2% of shy individuals The present study investigated what shy individuals
stated that they had taken no action to deal with say they do to deal with their shyness. The pattern
their shyness (e.g., “I have done nothing to over- of results suggests that shy individuals report a
come my shyness. I will live with my shyness now number of different strategies when attempting to
that I am retired”). In the “physical activity/exer- deal with their shyness. The self-selected strategy
cise” category, 2.5% of the shy individuals stated reported most frequently by shy individuals was
that they had engaged in a variety of physical ac- that of forced extraversion. Such a strategy may
tivities to deal with their shyness (e.g., “I’ve tried represent an attempt by shy individuals to increase
to get more confidence by exercising. It makes me their opportunities for social interaction by plac-
feel better about myself ”). In the “modify physical ing themselves in the proximity of others. However,
appearance” category, 2.5% of the shy individuals shy individuals also display a behavior pattern that
reported trying to lose weight (e.g., “…I have since tends to undermine the potential benefits associ-
lost 92 pounds. My shyness has subsided somewhat ated with the increased opportunity for social
since the weight loss but it is still a big hindrance”) interaction provided by forced extraversion. More
and/or altering their outward appearance (e.g., specifically, when shy individuals are in attendance
changing style of dress or hair color; getting tat- at social events, they tend to attenuate the possibili-
toos or body piercings) to deal with their shyness. ties for social interaction with others by initiating
In the “no response given” category, 0.6% of the conversations with others less frequently, speaking
respondents failed to give any type of a response less in conversation with others, and spending less
to the query regarding what they did to deal with time at the event (10).
their shyness. Although not as pervasive in its use as forced
extraversion, cognitively induced self-reassurance
Chronological analysis also appeared as a frequently self-selected strategy
Since 40% of the respondents tried two strate- by shy individuals to deal with their shyness. Such
gies and 15% tried as many as three strategies, a a strategy may be employed by shy individuals in
chronological analysis was performed to determine their attempt to deal directly with the cognitive
the order in which the respondents tried the self- component of shyness (23), which could reflect the
selected strategies to overcome their shyness. The beliefs shy individuals have about their expecta-
basis of the chronological analysis was the order of tions for social performances (e.g., “I’m inhibited
appearance in which a self-selected strategy was ex- by others”), self-assessment (e.g., “I’m not as inter-
pressed in the extended written responses. Forced esting as other people”), and competency (e.g., “I

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 50 Self-Selected coping strategies

have trouble thinking of things to say when talk- therapy should be strategies tried before the use of
ing to others”). While the recognition and verbal forced extraversion, not after.
expression of positive cognitions designed to deal Further insight into the process by which shy
with shyness might be a good start, modifying cog- individuals self-select strategies to overcome their
nitions associated with the anxiety and heightened shyness might also be gained by considering the
self-consciousness and critical self-evaluation in motivational nature underlying their decisions. The
social situations involves a more systematic ap- tendency of shy individuals to self-select strategies
proach, as exemplified by the characteristic features that place them in the social proximity of others
of various forms of Cognitive Behavior Therapy tends to reflect the strong desire shy individuals
(13). have to be with others (9). Unfortunately, this
While forced extraversion and cognitively in- strong desire to be with others seems to outweigh
duced self-reassurance were strategies frequently the need to delay social gratification and demon-
reported by shy individuals to help deal with their strate the necessary degree of patience these shy
shyness, their effectiveness seems to be limited. individuals will require in order to gain and de-
In response to such negative outcomes, most shy velop the requisite knowledge and skills when they
individuals did not elect to pursue other strate- seek professional help or utilize self-help books and
gies. Those individuals who elected to pursue ad- workshops. Based on research involving affective
ditional strategies sought professional help and/or states and the self-regulation of social interaction
utilized self-help books or workshops to increase (30), a consideration of such motivational issues
their ability to interact more successfully with oth- should be incorporated as part of the self-selection
ers in those self-induced social situations. But it strategies employed by shy individuals to deal with
should also be noted that a similar number of shy their shyness. In addition, given the importance of
individuals resorted to the use of drugs and alcohol self-regulatory processes in the modification and
as a solution to reducing inhibitions and anxiety. maintenance of behavioral change (31), it also sug-
In an attempt to help understand why some shy gests that therapeutic approaches designed for shy
individuals elect to employ self-medication over individuals to deal with their shyness should also
other self-selected strategies to deal with their shy- include a component that addresses the issue of
ness, previous research has investigated the affec- and offers strategies for enhancing self-regulation.
tive, cognitive and behavior correlates of the use of Such an approach would help shy individuals to
alcohol-assisted extraversion. develop a more realistic sense of the pace of prog-
ress necessary to acquire, develop, and implement
Therapeutic implications those strategies in a manner that is most likely to
These patterns of results have important implica- lead to interpersonal success.
tions for the development of specific programs Because some shy individuals elected to seek
to treat different dimensions of shyness (11, 15, professional advice as a self-selected strategy to
24, 25). More specifically, rather than just forcing overcome their shyness, a comment about the
themselves to go into social situations without nature of the specific professional help is also in
the necessary social skills and, thus, experienc- order. For those individuals who experience their
ing anxiety and disappointment, shy individuals shyness in the form of increased anxiety, these req-
should be advised to select first those strategies that uisite skills are most likely to be obtained through
will provide them with the requisite affective state professional help involving biofeedback and other
(26), appropriate cognitions (13, 27), appropriate forms of relaxation training (25, 32). For those
degree of interpersonal trust (28) and social skills individuals who experience shyness related to a
necessary (14, 15, 29) to perform successfully in lack of social skills, these requisite skills are more
social situations before placing themselves in the likely to be obtained through professional help
proximity of others. Thus, as self-selected strategies involving group therapy and other forms of social
for dealing with their shyness, reading self-help support where developing social skills and learning
books and attending shyness seminars or seeking to receive feedback from others in a social setting

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 Bernardo J. Carducci 51

are emphasized (14, 15, 29). Thus, shy individuals PDAs could be asked to monitor the circumstances
who wish to overcome their shyness should first under which they experience shyness and provide
select strategies that provide them with the neces- an immediate description of what action(s) they
sary skills and knowledge to perform successfully elect to take to deal with their shyness, as well as
in social situations before engaging in the process a description and assessment of the outcome of
of forced extraversion and cognitively induced self- such of action. The use of such ESMs would help
reassurance. To help in this regard, future research to increase the quality of the qualitative data in the
should attempt to clarify the relationship between study of self-selected strategies for dealing with
the cognitive and motivational determinants of the shyness by providing a more controlled set of self-
self-selected strategies to overcome shyness, as well report observations.
as to identify those treatment programs designed
to supplement the efforts by shy individuals to cope
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