Sense of

HUMOUR

STEPHEN POTTER

HENRY HOLT & COMPANY

NEW YORK

Library
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 Contents
P ART I THE THEME
PAGE
The English Reflex 3
Funniness by Theory 6
The Irrelevance of Laughter 8
The Great Originator 12
Humour in Three Dimensions: Shakespeare 16
The Great Age 20
S.B. and G.B.S. 29
Decline 36
Reaction 40
PART II THE THEME ILLUSTRATED
Personal Choice 47
1 The Raw Material
, UNCONSCIOUS HUMOUR
, 48
Frederick Locker-Lampson. At Her Window 52
Ella Wheeler Wilcox. Answered 53
Shakespeare. From Cymbeline 54
TAKING IT SERIOUSLY
From The Isthmian Book of Croquet 57
Footnote on Henry IV, Part 2 59

THE PERFECTION OF PERIOD 60

Samuel Pepys. Pepys at the Theatre 61
Samuel Johnson. A Dissertation on the Art of Flying 62
Horace Walpole. The Frustration of Manfred 63
Horace Walpole. Theodore Revealed 64
Haynes Bayly. From She Wore a Wreath of Roses 66
Charles Mackay. Only a Passing Thought 66
E. S. Turner. The Shocking .!fistory of Advertising 67
VB
VUl CONTENTS

PAGE
CHARACTER ON THE SLEEVE 67
Samuel Johnson. On Warburton on Shakespeare 68
James Boswell. On Goldsmith 68
William Blake. Annotations to Sir Joshua Reynolds's
Discourses 69
S. T. Coleridge. To his Wife 70
S. T. Coleridge. Advice to a Son 71
S. T. Coleridge. Thanks for a Loan 71
Arnold Bennett and Hugh Walpole. A Literary
Friendship 72
The Rouse Trial. Witness for the Defence 77
Baroness Orczy. The Birth of the Scarlet Pimpernel 80
Mass Observation. Me and My Brother and My Cousin 81

2 Humour of Release 84
FROM BONDS OF WORDS AND SYNTAX 84
Tommy and Jack 84
Ted Kavanagh. Itma 85
Torquemada. Crossword Clues 85
Laurence Sterne. The Male Midwife, Dr Slop, is
Urgently Wanted 87
Herbert Farjeon. Contract Bridge 89
FROM BONDS OF GRAVITY AND FORMULA 90
Anon. The Dying Aviator ~ 90
Samuel Butler. Unpleasantness of Youth 91
Samuel Butler. The Lost Chord 91
Edward Lear. Self-Portrait of the Laureate of Nonsense 91
Cockney Humour 93

3 Humour in Criticism 95
CRITICISM DIRECT 95
Francis Jeffrey. On Wordsworth's The Excursion 95
Macaulay. On the Poems of Robert Montgomery 96
George Bernard Shaw. On Irving in Waterloo 98
 CONTENTS
.
IX

CRITICISM DIRECT - continued PAGE

Max Beerbohm. On Duse 100
Max Beerbohm. On The Passing of the Third Floor
Back 100
H. G. Wells. On the First Night of Henry James's
Guy Domville 104
James Agate. On Mozart 104
C. A. Lejeune. On ' Dietrich as an Angel' 105
C. A. Lejeune. On ' Evening Dress Compulsory' 107
Paul Jennings. On Beatrix Potter Translated 109
John Crow. On the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations,
Second Edition I I I

CRITICISM BY PARODY 113

Swift. The Verisimilitude of Travellers' Tales 114
Max Beerbohm. Galsworthy's Forsyte Saga 114
Max Beerbohm. Kipling 115
G. K. Chesterton. The Poets as they might have
re-written Ole King Cole 116
J. C. Squire. G. K. Chesterton 117
W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman. A Test Paper lIB
J. B. Morton. A 'Little-Known-Facts' column 120
D. B. Wyndham Lewis. A Leader-Page in a National
Daily 120
Hugh Kingsmill. Lytton Strachey 121
Henry Reed. Thomas Hardy 122
Lionel Millard. Elizabethan Prose 12 3
Stephen Potter. Script of a BBC Regional Literary
Feature, period 1940 123
Peter Ustinov. Stage Dialogue We Cannot Do f{lithout 12 5
Osbert Lancaster. Drayne}lete Revealed 126

4 The Humour of Satire

Alexander Pope. Chloe 133
Charles Lamb. On Stage Morality 134
Charles Lamb. Suggests an Emendation 134
x CONTENTS

The Humour of Satire - continued PAGE

Byron. Sweetness 135
Byron. Age of Inventions 136
Charles Dickens. A Letter frorn Fanny Squeers 136
W. R. Sickert. The Royal Academicians 137
Bernard Shaw. Don Juan in Hell 142
D. H. Lawrence. Don'ts 142
D. H. Lawrence. Wellsian Futures; Talk; When I Read
Shakespeare 144
Herbert Farjeon. Liberty Hall 145
Virginia Graham. A Lullaby in Poor Taste 145
Bertrand Russell. God and Bishop Berkeley 146
Henry Reed. Lessons of the War 146
J. B. Priestley. Chairmanship 149

5 The Humour of Situation 151

George Meredith. Mr Goren Brings Bad News 151
Anthony Trollope. Agonies of Barch ester 153
Harold Nicolson. The Right People in the Wrong
Places, 1885 154
Jo1m Fothergill. Wit Antisociable 155
James Agate. The BBC and the Concert Grand 157
Tom Driberg. Margaret Rawlings and the Buchmanites 157
Margaret Barton. Garrick's Only Othello 161
Osbert Sitwell. Horses on Parade 161

6 Humour of Observation 164

Chaucer. The Wife of Bath 165
Chaucer. The Pardoner 166
Shakespeare. The Meeting of Beatrice and Benedick; On
Achilles; On Cressida; TlVhen to Plead with Coriolanus 168
William Congreve. Reasonable Demands of a Wife to
Mirabel! . 169 .
Tobias Smollett. Preparations for the Commodore's
~~~ 1p
James Boswell. Dr Johnson 175
 CONTENTS Xl
.
Humour of Observation - continued PAGE
Oliver Goldsmith. Tony Lumpkin 177
Creevey. Mrs Creevey writes of News from Trafalgar 178
Charles Lamb. On Coleridge to Wordsworth 179
John Keats. To Mrs Reynolds's Cat 179
Charles Dickens. The Boarding-I-Iouse 180
George Eliot. The Tullivers are Allowed to See Aunt
Pullet's Bonnet 186
Charles Dickens. Mr Podsnap and the Foreign Gentleman 190
Sarlluel Butler. The Courting of Christina 193
George and Weedon Grossmith. The Diary of a
Nobody 195
Thomas Hardy. Absent-Mindedness in a Parish Choir 199
Eden Phillpotts. Gideon's Front Tooth 202
Harold Nicolson. Tennyson Reads his Poems: 1831j 20 7
Tennyson Reads his Poems: 1860 208
Aldous Huxley. Illidge Joins the Reception Downstairs 210
Terence Rattigan. Impressing Diana 21 3
Nigel Balchin. The New Gun 21 3
Bernard Darwin. Walter Hagen: The 1922 Open 220
Patrick Hamilton. Dawn over the Boarding HOHse 224
J01m Betjernan. Pot-Pourri from a Surrey Gardenj 226
Margate, 1940 227
Hunlphrey Hare. Swinburne and Watts-Dunton at
, The Pines' 228
Angus Wilson. A First in English Literature 229
Hesketh Pearson. Whistler on the Academicians 231
7 Self-Portrait 234
William Cowper. Letter to the Rev. William Unwin 234
S. T. Coleridge. Letter to John H. Morgan 234
Harriette Wilson. A Visit front the Duke of Wellingtorl 234
H. G. Wells. Surrender at Keston Fish Ponds 239
Eric Linklater. 85831 Pte. Linklater, The Black Watch 240
Janles Agate. On Hardly Using Any French)' 244
James Agate. Correcting Proofs 245
xu
.. CO NTENTS

Self-Portrait - continued PAGE

C. E. M. Joad. Joad and the Dragon 245
J. B. Priestley. My Tastes 249

8 The Age of Humour 251

Sir John Squire. The Godalming Museum 251
E. V. Lucas and George Morrow. Experiment in
Autobiography 252
Professor Walter Raleigh. Poem 255
Logan Pearsall Smith. The Authorj The Shrouded
Ilou~ 255
Harold Nicolson. Peacemaking 256
Terence Rattigan. Exposition Without Tears 256

9 Tragic Humour
Graham Greene. Scobie Reads to the Boy 260

10 The End
Byron. A Fragment

Acknowledgements 266

Index

ED ITO R 's NOT E. In the body of the text, titles printed within
brackets are the editor's, not the author's.
 THE LINCOLN IMP
Hidden among the angelic faces of the sacred images carved
above the columns of Lincoln Cathedral is this figure of
a kindly but impertinent devil or imp - symbol perhaps
of the intrusion of humour into even the serious moments
of English life.
 PART I
THE THEME
The English Reflex
The day of English Humour is declining. I am not suggesting
that Punch is less what it was than tradition demands, nor that
at the other end, the acid end, of the scale (towards which Punch
'incidentally has begun to shift after eighty years of alkali), our
Barren Leaves and Vile Bodies are pulverised less efficiently by
the novelists of 1953 than they were by the Waughs and
Huxleys of a quarter of a century ago. It is simply that times
have changed. A sub-era in the evolution of Englishness, in
which humour has been regarded as an essential part of the
Good, as a graceful and necessary congruity of social life, as
something to be taken for granted as right, is beginning to pass
away.
For many occasions the humorous approach is still the safest
diagnostic proof of the Englishness in our blood. 'How are
you,' There, at the bar, is Iny solid friend G., the ornithologist.
'Jolly D.' he says. ' Well played,' I say. No smile, of course: it
is something less than being facetious, even. This exhausted
parody of prep-school slang is one of our traditional methods of
starting a conversation. We shake jokes, as it were, instead of
shaking hands, to show that there is no hostility. It is as automatic
as the cough reflex for clearing the throat. True, the' humour'
need not necessarily be so worn out and automatic as this. On
the other hand it may be worse, taking the shape of the comic
story - ' stop Ine if you've heard it,' (for it is part of the tribal
custonl never to ' stop me " but to listen helplessly and wait for
. the point, get the feel and inflexion of the place where the laugh
should come, in the story, and then laugh in unison with the
teller).
3
 SENSE OF HUMOUR

It is true that most of these preliminary parries, these chew-

ings of a worn-out old cud, are a symptom of a decadent ten-
dency to live-off-the-Iand in the world of humour, without
putting anything back. And it is true that nlost people who
deliberately make humorous remarks have no humour in the
special English sense which this essay tries to define. An hour
from my home by car on the road from London there is a pub
which I visit partly for a drink and partly to refresh myself with
the character of the landlord. He is, I think, an exceptionally shy
man and feels more than most of us the never-admitted horror
of meeting strangers - a characteristic which is surprisingly
common in his profession. He is without humour, yet he too
makes use of humour to bridge the gap. Every now and then he
utters some of the accepted comic phrases of our age, quite
isolated, quite without reference. ' Mind my bike,' he will say.
Then a little later: ' Time I gave it the old one-two.' Gave what
he does not say. Nobody smiles or comments, but he will him-
self laugh. This does not embarrass him - only the absence of
the futmy saying embarrasses him. Another customer comes in.
With reference to nothing: ' Yes,' says the landlord laughingly,
. as if he and I had been having a rattling good conversation.
Then, 'Don't forget the diver,' perhaps is the next phrase
which happens to come to the surface. Between times the pause
is always uneasy. But the general implication is that common
ground has been found, if not a safe conduct into the stranger's
territory.
But whether we chew over other people's humour or create
it ourselves, our most usual reflex is to detach ourselves by
smiling. It might be called the English Reflex. It is part of the
framework of our social life. Cockney wit, for instance, shows
it particularly clearly. Writing in the nineteenth century, on
the habits of the English, French writers like Taine make the
strange mistake, as it seems to llS, of talking of the' grim saVa-
 THE ENGLISH REFLEX

gery and gloom' of Cockney humour - a classic misapprehen-

sion of a tone of voice which on the contrary is a making ordi-
nary of the grinl, taking the sting out of it, to make bearable
life in the back streets of the Whitechapel of mid-nineteenth
century London. It flourishes in such unsquashable characters as
Sam Weller, constantly cheering everybody up by making
tragedy ludicrous .... ' It's over and can't be helped ... and
that's one consolation, as they always say in Turkey, ven they
cuts the wrong man's head off." Half modem Cockneyisms,
equally, are used to take the edge off reality: rhyming slang,
shortened as it usually is to the first word of the phrase only,
keeps the reality at double remove. Far nearer than rhyming
slang to essential English Humour is the slang of the Services -
euphemisms like 'fishes' eyes' for 'tapioca pudding or the
phrase next below it in Eric Partridge's Dictionary - ' the fishing
fleet,' for the women who frequent the Ladies' Lounge at the
, Union Club, Malta; or ' The Flap' for the great retreat which
ended at Alamein.
More specifically Cockney is the extension of this kind of
humour to rub in the awkwardness of the slightly embarrassing
situation. The bus driver, made to brake rather hard when the
woman in the Baby A ustin unexpectedly swerves, pretends to
faint over the steering wheel. Or a bus conductor I remember.
It was in the days when a leather thong had to be pulled to stop
the bus. Boldly and breezily, and to show my familiarity with
the workings of the thing, I pulled it mysel£ But too hard-
embarrassingly it came off in my hand. The conductor never
seemed so much as to glance at me over his shoulder, as he be-
gan to lllove down inside to take tickets. ' Look at Hercules '
was all he said; but it gave universal satisfaction.
Is this English Reflex really peculiar to the English? Weare
certainly not the only country to fall back on a technique when
dealing with first contacts. It is usual to contrast French wit with
6 SENSE OF HUMOUR

British humour. The French have their more supple armour of

chain mail; an armoury offmesse and poise, an ancient fabric of
manners which can be almost hostile in its correctness. Even the
irresponsibility and gaiety which seems to deny this, has a slight
taste of ritual. The contrast between the North and South
German approach is just as strong. Whether' Heil Hitler' is
the phrase or not, the salute to a northern national hero is im-
plied. The Southern Teuton, the Austrian, on the other hand,
seems to suggest by humorous implication that he is a sceptic on
such matters. ' We are artists together,' he seems to say,
'humouring the junior and philistine races.' The American
(U.S.) often makes his approach in solemnity. Voice and
manner seem to say' We believe, you and I, in the great
ordinary things. There is nothing whimsical or eccentric about
you and me. We are solid citizens, right ~ Now we can talk.'
Some sound British types use the same method; but for the
majority of the English, humour is still the way.
Funniness by Theory
It has not always been. so. I have my own theory of a date, of a
certain piece of writing which could be called the beginning of
English Humour. But let us compare notes, for a moment, with
the authorities.
Hazlitt on the English Comic Writers is the classic; Leigh
Hunt is effectively diffuse on the subject of Wit and Humour:
but in their day the word was ambiguous and vague, the
culture of the English sense of humour had not begun. On the
other hand, there are plenty of modern books on the theory and
anatomy of humour: and so far from being inappropriately
solid and learned as one might expect from the academic treat-
ment of such a quick-silver subject, they are judicious and
entertaining. To take the best since 1900: first comes Bergson's
celebrated Le RiTe, full of audacious theorising, and entertain-
ingly' explaining' laughter as a shout of' Beware l' to the rest
 PART II
THE THEME ILLUSTRATED
Personal Choice
The selections which follow are intended for enjoyment and
have been chosen because they still, or have newly, given me
pleasure. If I had chosen from the works which seemed fwmiest
in my whole life, half would not seem fWilly now. I do not
choose The Adventures of Professor Radium in Puck (the only
coloured conuc in 1910), or P. G. Wodehouse's school stories,
in the Captain, about Psmith, or When Knights Were Bold, or the
serial in the Boy's Own Paper called ' From the Slums to the
Quarter-Deck, the Story of a Lad of Grit', or The Safety
Match by Ian Hay. It is as sadly painful for me not to laugh at
these now, as it was unbearably pleasure-painful laughing at
them then. Beatrix Potter, early Dickens and early Wells still
seenl almost as fWilly now, but the goodness of Mr Polly and
Mr Jingle my readers will know and take for granted.
In a secondary way, I have chosen in order to illustrate Illy
theme of the English sense of humour. The extracts are not
arranged in til11e order: the history I have already tried to
sketch. For contrast and to give the elements of the thenle a
re-shuffie, I have enjoyed trying to place the sections so as to
suggest the steps which extend between the humourless, at one
extreme, and hUl110ur at its most intelligent and perceptive at
the other.
Looking at this selection as it goes to press, I regret omissions.
One boundary to an unmanageably vast field I have allowed
mysel£ The spoken word - plays, speeches and conversations-
is little quoted, and I allow l11ySelf the excuse that it is often
47
 SENSE OF HUMOUR

dependent on inflection and presentation. But I wish now I had

included question time in the House, Mr Churchill up. 1 wish 1
had included quotations from that wonderfully funny play
Present Laughter, or the ' very flat, Norfolk ' passage from an
earlier comedy by the same author, or Mr Coward's cabaret
song' 1 wonder what's happened to ... ', or Mrs Worthington.
1 wish 1 had had time to comb the seventeenth century anti-
quarians. 1 would have included early Evelyn Waugh had 1 not
been earlier an early Huxley man. The full pleasures of the
laughter of shocked and incredulous recognition only come
once in our lives.

The Ratv Material

It may seem illogical to include examples of the Unintention-
ally Funny in an anthology of the humorous. Must there not
exist sonlewhere some kind of argument to the effect that
humour and the humourless are opposite characteristics of the
same middle? Perhaps it is true that a certain unselfconscious-
ness or self-forgetfulness provides the necessary raw material
for the humorists to work on.
,
UNCONSCIOUS HUMOUR
, Of course,' (I can hear the phrase sounding in my head) , my
favourite humour is unconscious humour.' It is a remark to
think, not speak, because it is full of traps. The phrase itself,
which Sanluel Butler claimed to have invented, seelns a silly
way of describing the unconsciously humourless. And when we
come to list our favourite pieces of' unconscious humour', are
we always completely sure that we are not ourselves the un-
conscious victims of a leg pull, or that an unple.asing touch of
 HUMOUR IN CRITICISM 113
Sun himself cannot forget his fellow-traveller' is a tr?-nslation .
frolll John Owen; the' Harington ' quotation about pleasing
guests not cooks is a translation from MartiaL I grumble at the
allotting to Porson and Suckling of two straight Shakespeare
quotations. lean' t see why' Since first I saw your face' is Anon
and ' I did but see her passing by , is Thomas Ford when both
are from Ford's songbook and neither is by Ford. Four words
seem to be missing from the second Sophocles quotation. Two
people are credited with saying that beauty is in the eye of the
beholder. 'Go West, young man' is here given to J. B. L.
Soule (1815-91); in the 1941 edition it was in the index and not,
apparently, in the text. Why are we told that Mr A. C.
McAuliffe said ' Nuts' to sOllle Germans? Why are there no
post-1904 Punch quotations? Is it a matter of copyright, or
sOlnething like the scent of musk? There are, anyway, they
tell us, 'well over 40,000 quotations' in this splendid book,
which moved llly heart more than a trumpet and held me long
at the chimney corner. 1'm happy and thankful about it and
p~ease do not take my bogglings too seriously.
1953 The Listener

CRITICISM BY PARODY
This section is disproportionately long because of my dispro-
portionate liking for this form of humour and my enjoYlnent
of this richest yet nlost conlpressed form of negative criticism.
Successful parody entails a truly wide, if not a deep, knowledge
of the victinl. Perhaps my favourite sentence in all parody is
Max's summary of Galsworthy' s attitude to his Forsyte heroine
Irene, whose entrance is ' heralded by that almost wlseizable
odour that uncut turquoises have' (p. 115). Here again, my
choice is from my personal favourites of the moment. I remind
the reader that there are wonderful parodies in Chaucer,
Shakespeare and Lewis Carroll, and that the pioneers, like
James and Horace Snlith were men of the highest talent.
114 SENSE OF HUMOUR

I begin with my favourite paragraph from the works of

Swift:
by Swift of The Verisimilitude of Travellers' Tales
(Gulliver says farewell to the Houyhnhnms.)
When all was ready, and the day came for my departure, I took
leave of my master and lady, and the whole family, mine eyes
flowing with tears, and my heart quite sunk with grief. But his
honour, out of curiosity, and perhaps (if I may speak it without
vanity) partly out of kindness, was determined to see me in my
canoo; and several of his neighbouring friends to accompany
him. I was forced to wait above an hour for the tide, and then
observing the wind very fortunately bearing towards the island,
to which I intended to steer my course, I took a second leave of
my master: but, as I was going to prostrate myself to kiss his
hoof, he did me the honour to raise it gently to my mouth. I am
not ignorant how llluch I have been censured for mentioning
this last particular. Detractors are pleased to think it improbable,
that so illustrious a person should descend to give so great a
mark of distinction to a creature so inferior as I. Neither have I
forgot, how apt some travellers are to boast of extraordinary
favours they have received. But, if these censurers were better
acquainted with the noble and courteous disposition of the
Houyhnhnms, they would soon change their opinion.
1726 Travels of Lemuel Gulliver

by Max Beerbohm of Galsworthy's ' Forsyte Saga'

... Adrian Berridge paused on the threshold, as was his wont,
with closed eyes and dilated nostrils, enjoying the arOllla of
complex freshness which the dining-room had at this hour.
Pathetically a creature of habit, he liked to savour the various
scents, sweet or acrid, that went to symbolise for him the time
and place. Here were the immediate scents of dry toast, of
China tea, of napery fresh from the wash, together with that
vague, super-subtle scent which boiled eggs give out through
their unbroken shells. And as a permanent base to these there
122 SENSE OF HUMOUR

majesty down the long lane of beseeching suppliants? Or, do

we not rather see a foolish, charming boy, parading before his
envious brothers an ill-fitting, parti-coloured jacket, stitched by
a doting father with a hand that trembled in the last agitations
of affection and the first approaches of senility?
1933 The Table of Truth
by Henry Reed of Thomas Hardy
Stoutheart on the Southern Railway
What are you doing, oh high-souled lad,
Writing a book about nle?
And peering so closely at good and bad,
That one thing you do not see:
A shadow which falls 011 your writing-pad;
It is not of a sort to make men glad.
It were better should such unbe.
No: though you look up, but you do not chance
To see in the railway-train, .
Anud pale trackfarers with listless glance,
One who enghosts him plain.
You throw him not even a look askance,
And your mind toils on, in a seeming trance,
To unearth some hap or twain.
No: the wistful hand you do not mark,
Laid weightless upon your sleeve;
To a phasmal breath you give no hark-
To a disembodied heave,
That at memories wakened of bliss or cark
Goes sighing across the gritty dark
In an iterate senU-breve.
No: you don't see the one the night-time brings
To thuswise hover above
Your pages of quizzings and questionings
Undertaken (say you) for love,
 PARODY 123

No: you don't see the shadow the lamp downflings.

But I've come to make sure there are just a few things
You still are unwotful of.
Manuscript

by Lionel Millard of Elizabethan Prose

(For Adults Only)
... The other of the twain is an ancient crone, nurse to Juliet,
forever harping on the amorous delights now beyond her save
by proxy, who continuously disparages the blessed state of
virginity in despite of Christ's holy Mother and the dazzling
example of our Sovereign Lady: ... There is, moreover, an old
lecher, father to Juliet, whose mammerings show how his
youth was spent, misspent I would say, Master Kenlp too, as a
foolish follower, sounds with no abridged plumm.et all the
depths of scurrility. And the very centre of this nastiness, the
young Romeo himself, is shown at the outset as mistressed
(albeit lightly enough), and is continually comforted in his con-
cupiscence by a Papistical and prolixious friar. Nay more and to
conclude, we were presented to the lovers hot from their
(scarce can I term it so) nuptial bed.
1934 New Statesman Competition

by Stephen Potter
of the Script of a B.B.C. Regional Literary Feature, period 1940
ANNOUNCER: One hundred years ago this month, the
memorial tablet to Tholnas Cobbleigh, the Dartmoor poet,
was erected at .Worlby Chapel in Ipswich, town of his
birth. Froln the East Coast Regional Wavelength, therefore,
we present this evening THOMAS COBBLEIGH, POET.
A PORTRAIT.
(Seven bars of Waltz theme, Dohnanyi's 'Variations on a Nursery
Tune', quietly wells and fades behind:)
N ARRA TOR: Back, now. Back to 1799 and its quiet streets,
 4
The Humour of Satire
No department of the Comic is less exclusively English than
Satire. It would be out of place in this book to make excerpts
from the hard words of]onson and Dryden, Swift and Pope, or
of the great, grim and not always totally unhumorous Piers
Plowman. But except in Puritan and anti-Puritan times and the
Regency period, our satire has usually been tinged with a
national flavour of the humane - or so it seenlS to nle when I
read these few extracts of my choice.
Alexander Pope
Chloe
, Yet Chloe sure was form'd without a spot'-
Nature in her then err'd not, but forgot.
, With ev'ry pleasing, ev'ry prudent part,
Say, what can Chloe want?' - She wants a I-Ieart.
She speaks, behaves, and acts just as she ought;
But never, never, reach'd one gen'rous Thought.
Virtue she finds too painful an endeavour,
Content to dwell in Decencies for ever.
So very reasonable, so unnlov'd,
As never yet to love, or to be lov'd.
She, while her Lover pants upon her breast,
Can mark the figures on an Indian chest;
And when she sees her Friend in deep despair,
Observes how much a Chintz exceeds Mohair.
Forbid it Heav'n, a Favour or a Debt
She e'er should cancel- but she may forget.
Safe is your Secret still in Chloe's ear;
But none of Chloe's shall you ever hear.
Of all her Dears she never slander'd one,
133
 SENSE OF HUMOUR

Doze in your blue-ribboned nest of inertia,

Pop go the Poles and pat-a-cake Persia.
Run to your dreams where the little lambs play,
Mr Vishinsky has come for the day,
And nothing can harm you 0 infant most blest,
Ride a cock Palestine, peep-bo Trieste.
Lully my darling, till atom bombs fall,
When up will go baby and mummy and all.
1946 Consider the Years
Bertrand Russell
(God and Bishop Berkeley.)
George Berkeley (1685-1753) is important in philosophy
through his denial of the existence of matter - a denial which
he supported by a number of ingenious arguments. He main-
tained that material objects only exist through being perceived.
To the objection that, in that case, a tree, for instance, would
cease to exist if no one was looking at it, he replied that God
always perceives everything; if there were no God, what we
take to be material objects would have a jerky life, suddenly
leaping into being when we look at them; but as it is, owing to
God's perceptions, trees and rocks and stones have an existence
as continuous as commonsense supposes. This is, in his opinion,
a weighty argument for the existence of God.
1946 A History of Western Philosophy
Henry Reed
LESSONS OF THE WAR
1. Naming of Parts
Today we have naming of parts. Yesterday,
We had daily cleaning. And tomorrow morning,
We shall have what to do after firing. But today,
Today we have naming of parts. Japonica .
Glistens like coral in all of the neighbouring gardens,
And today we have naming of parts.
 THE HUMOUR OF SATIRE 147
This is the lower sling swivel. And this
Is the upper sling swivel, whose use you will see,
When you are given your slings. And this is the piling swivel,
Which in your case you have not got. The branches
Hold in the gardens their silent, eloquent gestures,
Which in our case we have not got.
This is the safety catch, which is always released
With an easy flick of the thumb. And please do not let me
See anyone using his finger. You can do it quite easy
If you have any strength in your thumb. The blossoms
Are fragile and motionless, never letting anyone see
Any of them using their fmger.
And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and futnbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.
They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thutnb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of
balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the ahnond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and
forwards,
For today we have naming of parts.

II. Judging Distances

Not only how far away, but the way that you say it
Is very important. Perhaps you may never get
The knack of judging a distance, but at least you know
How to report on a landscape: the central sector,
The right of arc and that, which we had last Tuesday,
And at least you know
 SENSE OF HUMOUR

That maps are of time, not place, so far as the army

Happens to be concerned - the reason being,
Is one which need not delay us. Again, you know
There are three kinds of tree, three only, the fir and the poplar,
And those which have bushy tops to; and lastly
That things only seem to be things.

A barn is not called a barn, to put it lnore plainly,

Or a field in the distance, where sheep may be safely grazing.
You must never be over-sure. You must say, when reporting:
At five o'clock in the central sector is a dozen
Of what appear to be animals; whatever you do,
Don't call the bleeders sheep.

I am sure that's quite clear; and suppose, for the sake of exalnple,
The one at the end, asleep, endeavours to tell us
What he sees over there to the west, and how far away,
After first having COlne to attention. There to the west,
On the fields of SUllllner the sun and the shadows bestow
Vestnlents of purple and gold.

The still white dwellings are like a mirage in the heat,

And under the swaying elms a lllan and a WOlllan
Lie gently together. Which is, perhaps, only to say
That there is a row of houses to the left of arc,
And that under SOine poplars a pair
of what appear to be humans
Appear to be loving.

Well that, for an answer, is what we might rightly call

Moderately satisfactory only, the reason being,
Is that two things have been olnitted, and those are important.
The hunlan beings, now: in what direction are they,
And how far away, would you say, And do not forget
There may be dead ground in between.
 THE HUMOUR OF SATIRE 149
There may be dead ground in between; and I may not have got
The knack of judging a distance; I will only venture
A guess that perhaps between nle and the apparent lovers,
(Who, incidentally, appear by now to have fmished,)
At seven o'clock from the houses, is roughly a distance
Of about one year and a half.
1946 A Map of Verona

J. B. Priestley
(Chairmanship)
Quietly malicious chairmanship. There is no sound excuse for
this. It is deeply anti-social, and a sudden excess of it would
tear great holes in our conlmunallife. But a man can be asked
once too often to act as chairman, and to such a man, despairing
of his weakness and feeling a thousand miles from any delight,
I can suggest a few devices. In introducing one or two of the
chief speakers, grossly overpraise thenl but put no warmth into
your voice, only a metallic flavour of irony. If you know what
a speaker's main point is to be, then make it neatly in presenting
him to the audience. During SOlne tremendous peroration,
either begin whispering and passing notes to other speakers or
give the appearance of falling asleep in spite of much effort to
keep awake. If the funny man takes possession of the meeting
and brings out the old jokes, either look melancholy or raise
your eyebrows as high as they will go. Announce the fellow
with the weak delivery in your loudest and clearest tones. For
any timid speaker, officiously clear a space bang in the middle
and offer him water, paper, pencil, a watch, anything. With
noisy cheeky chaps on their feet, bustle about the platfonn, and
if necessary give a mysterious little note to sonle member of the
audience.
If a man insists upon speaking from the floor of the hall, ask
him for his name, pretend to be rather deaf, and then ftnally
announce his name with a marked air of surprise. After that you
can have sonle trouble with a cigarette lighter and then take it
to pieces. When they all go on and on, make no further pre-
 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
For permissiotl to use these extracts, I am greatly it,debted to the following:
PAGE
41-2 Lewis Baumer and Pont illustrations: the proprietors of Punch.
50 Ely Culbertson The Official Book of Contract Bridge: The John C. Win-
ston Co.
67 E. S. Turner The Shocking History of Advertising: Copyright, 1953, by
E. S. Turner. Published by E. P. Dutton & Co., Inc.
72 Rupert Hart-Davis Hugh Walpole: the author and the owners of the
Copyright for the Bennett letters.
77 The Trial of Arthur Rouse: the Rt. Hon. Sir Norman Birkett and
William Hodge & Co. Notable British Trials Series.
80 Baroness Orczy Links ill the Chaill of Life: Mr J. Orczy-Barstow and
A. P. Watt & Son.
81 Report on Juvenile Delinquency: The Falcon Press.
84 Ted Kavanagh Tommy Handley: the author and Hodder & Stoughton.
85 'Torquemada' Crossword Clues: Mrs. Powys Mathers and The ObsenJer.
89 Herbert Farjeon Nine Sharp: Mrs. Herbert Farjeon.
93 James Agate Ego 5: George G. Harrap & Co., Ltd.
98 George Bernard Shaw Irving it, 'Waterloo': The Society of Authors.
100 Max BeerbohmArotlt,d Theatres: Copyright, 1930, by Max Beerbohm.
Reprinted by permission of Simon and Schuster, Publishers.
104 H. G. Wells Boon: Mrs G.P.Wells.
104 James Agate Ego 8: George G. Harrap & Co., Ltd.
105 C. A. Lejeune Dietrich as an Angel and Evenitlg Dress Compulsory: the
author and The Observer.
109 Paul Jennings 'Beatrix Potter TraHslated': the author and The Observer.
III John Crow The Oxford Dictionary ~r Qllotations: the author and The
Listener.
114 Max Beerbohm A Christmas Garlalld: E. P. Dutton & Co., Inc.
116 G. K. Chesterton Ole Killg Cole: Dodd, Mead & Company from Varia-
tions on at' Air. Composed on Having to Appear in a Pageant as Old
King Cole in Collected Poems ofG. K. Chesterton. Copyright, 1932, by
Dodd, Mead & Company, Inc.
117 J. C. Squire Tricks of the Trade: the author.
118 W. C. Sellar and R.J. Yeatman 1066 and All That: Copyright, 193I by
E. P. Dutton & Co., Inc.
 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
PAGE
120 J. B. Morton ('Beachcomber' of the Daily Express) A 'Little Known Facts'
Column: A. D. Peters.
120 D. B. Wyndham Lewis Press Gmlg: the author and Hutchinson & Co.
121 Hugh Kingsmill Table of Truth: Jarrolds.
122 Henry Reed Thomas Hardy: the author.
123 Lionel Millard Elizabethan Prose: the author and New Statesman al/d
Nation.
123 Stephen Potter Script of a BBC Regional Literary Feature: the author and
the British Broadcasting Corporation.
125 Peter Ustinov Stage Dialogue We Cannot Do Without: the author and
the editor of The Author.
126 Osbert Lancaster There'll Always Be a Draynejlete: reprinted by per-
mission of and arrangement with Houghton Mifflin Company, pub-
lishers of the American Edition.
137 W. R. Sickert A Free House: William Morris Agency.
142 George Bernard Shaw Man and Superman: The Society of Authors.
142 D. H. Lawrence Pansies: Copyright, 1929, by Frieda Lawrence Ravagli.
Reprinted by permission of the Author's Estate.
145 Herbert Farjeon Spread it Abroad: Mrs Herbert Farjeon.
145 Virginia Graham A Lullaby in Poor Taste from COllsider The Years: the
author and A. P. Watt & Son.
146 Bertrand Russell A History of Westem Philosophy: Simon and Schuster,
Inc.
146 Henry Reed Lessons of the War from A Map of Verona: Harcourt, Brace
and Company, Inc.
149 J. B. Priestley Chairmanship from Delight: A. D. Peters and Harper &
Brothers.
154 Harold Nicolson Lord Carnock: the author and Constable & Co.
155 John Fothergill My Three Inns: the author and Chatto & Windus.
157 James Agate Ego 5: George G. Harrap & Co., Ltd.
157 Tom Driberg Colonnade: the author and the Daily Express.
161 Margaret Barton Garrick: Copyright, 1948, by Margaret Barton. By
permission of Ann Watkins, Inc.
161 Osbert Sitwell Great Morning: Copyright, 1947, by Osbert Sitwell, by
permission of Little, Brown & Co. and the Atlantic Monthly Press.
195 George and Weedon Grossmith The Diary of a Nobody: Everyman's
Library, published by E. P. Dutton & Co., Inc.
268 . ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
PAGE
202 Eden Phillpotts The Human Boy: the author.
207 Harold Nicolson Tennyson: the author and Constable & Co.
210 Aldous Huxley Point emlt/ter Point: Copyright, 1928, by Aldous Hux-
ley. By permission of Harper & Brothers.
213 Terence Rattigan French Without Tears: Copyright, 1938, by Terence
Merryn Rattigan. By permission of Brandt & Brandt.
213 Nigel Balchin The Small Back Room: Houghton Miffiin Company.
)
220 Bernard Darwin Golf Between Two Wars: the author and Chatto &
Windus.
224 Patrick Hamilton The Slaves of Solitude: Copyright, 1947, by Patrick
Hamilton. Published by Random House, Inc.
226 John Betjeman Potpourri from a Surrey Gardell and Margate 1940 fro111
Slick But Not Streamlined: Copyright, 1947, by John Betjeman, re-
printed by permission of Doubleday & Company, Inc.
228 Humphrey Hare Swillhurne: A Biographical Approach: H. F. & G.
Witherby.
229 Angus Wilson Hell/lock and After: Viking Press, Inc.
23 I Hesketh Pearson The Man vVhistler: Copyright, 1953, by Hesketh
PearsOli. Published by Harper & Brothers.
239 H. G. Wells Experiment in Autobiography: Mrs G. P. Wells.
240 Eric Linklater The 1I1an on My Back: the author and A. D. Peters.

244 James Agate Ego 8: George G. Harrap & Co., Ltd.

245 C. E. M. Joad A Year More or Less: the author's executors and Victor
Gollancz, Ltd.
249 J. B. Priestly fl1y Tastes from Delight: A. D. Peters and Harper &
Brothers.
252 E. V. Lucas and George Morrow What a Life! : Knapp-Fisher, Wart-
naby & Blunt.
255 Professor Walter Raleigh Letters: Lady Walter Raleigh.
255 Logan Pearsall Smith All Trivia: Copyright, 1945, by Harcourt, Brace
and Company, Inc.
256 Harold Nicolson Peacemaking 1919: the author.
256 Terence Rattigan T¥ho Is SyllJia? Copyright, 1951, by Terence Ratti-
gan. By permission of Brandt & Brandt.
259 Pont illustrations by kind permission of the proprietors of Punch.
260 Graham Greene The Heart of the Matter: Viking Press, Inc.
 INDEX
Italic numeral, indicate that the at/thor is referred to: romaH, that he is quoted.
Addison, 21, 26, 26 Cowper, William, 234
Agate, James, 93, 104, 157 Creevey, 178-9
Andersen, Hans, 28 Crow, John, 1II-3
Anon.,90-91 Culbertson, Ely, 50, 50-51
Aristophanes, 33
Darwin, Bemard, 220-3
Baldwin, Stanley, 7 Defoe, 21
Barton, Margaret, 161 Dickens, Charles,s, 24-7, 47, 136-7,
Bateman, H. M., 40 165, 180-6, 190-3
Bayly, Haynes, 66 Driberg, Tom, 157-160
Beerbohm, Max, 25, 34, 37, 37, Dryden, IS, 21, 24, 49, 49, 50, 133
100-3, II3-6 Du Maurier, George, 27
Belcher, George, 40
Belioc, Hilaire, 29 Eliot, George, 186-190
Bennett, Amold, 29, 72-6 Eliot, T. S., 260
Bergson, 6, 11
Begeman, J01m, 165, 226-8 Farjeon, Herbert, 10, 84, 89-90, 145
Bird, Kenneth, 42 Fielding, 21
Birkett, Sir Norman, 76, 77-80 Fothergill, John, 155-7
Blake, William, 68, 69-70 Fougasse, 40 (See Kenneth Bird)
Boswell, James, 21-23, 23, 68-9, Freud, Sigmund, 7
175-7
Butler, Samuel, 29-31, 31, 48,48,9'1, Galsworthy, John, 29, 113
93-4, 193-5 Gibbon, 22
Byron, 135-6,265 Giles, 42
Gillray, 25
. Carroll, Lewis, 28, 113 Goldsmith, Oliver, 23, 177-8
Cazamian, Louis, 8 Gower, 15
Chaucer, Geoffrey, 12-16, 37, 113, Graham, Virginia, 145-6
164, 165-8 Greene, Graham, 260, 260-4
Chesterton, G. K., 29, 30, 51-2, Grossmith, G. & W., 195-9
I I 6-7 Guedalla, Philip, 29
Churchill, Sir Winston, 48
Coleridge, S. T., 43,43, 68,70-2,95, Hamilton, Patrick, 165,224-6
234 Handley, T., 18, 84
Congreve, 164, 169-172 Hardy, Thomas, 165, 199-202
Coward, Noel, 40,48 Hare, Humphrey, 228-9
Cowley, Abraham, 21 Haselden, W. K., 40
2 69
270 INDEX

Hay, Ian, 39, 47 Moore, Sturge, 29

Hazlitt, 6, 24, 95 Morrow, George, with E.V.L., 251,
25 2 -5
Ibsen, 33 Morton, J. B. ('Beachcomber'), 120

Jeffrey, Francis, 95, 95-6 Nichols, Robert, 42, 42

Jennings, Paul, I09-II1 Nicolson, Sir Harold, 8, 26, 38,
Joad, C. E. M., 245-9 154-5, 165, 20 7
Johnson, Samuel, 9, 21-3, 22, 31, Orczy, Baroness, 80-1
62-3, 68-9, 68-9, 91 Overbury, Sir Thomas, 21
Jonson, Ben, 7, 20-1, 133
Partridge, Bernard, 28
Kavanagh, Ted, 84, 84-5 Partridge, Eric, 5
Keats, 164, 179-80 Pearson, Hesketh, 165,231-3
Keene, Charles, 28 Pepys, 21, 61-2
Kingsmill, Hugh, 121-2 Phillpotts, Eden, 165, 202-7
Pont, 40, 42 (See Laidlaw)
Laidler, 40 Pope, Alexander, 133, 133-4
Lamb, Charles, 7, 23-4, 24, 95, 134, Potter, Beatrix, 47
179 Potter, Stephen, 123-5
Lancaster, Osbert, 40, 126-132 Priestley, J. B.,' 7, 149-50, 249-50
Langland, 15
Lawrence, D. H., 42, 142-4 Quiller-Couch, Sir Arthur, 39
Leach, J oh11, 27 Raleigh, Professor Sir Walter, 15,
Lear, Edward; 91-3 36-7, 255
Lee, Charles, 66 Rattigan, Terence, 213, 251, 256-9
Lt:ieune, C. A., I05-8 Reed, Henry, 122-3, 146
Linklater, Eric, 240-4 Richardson, 22
Locker-Lampson, F., 52-3 Robinson, Heath, 7
Lucas, E. V., 29, 40, with G. M., 251, Rousseau, 22
25 2-5 Russell, Bertrand, 146-9
Macaulay, Lord, 95,96-8 Searle, Ronald, 41, 42
Mackay, Charles, 66 Sellar and Yeatman, 118-20
Malory,12 Shakespeare, 16-7, 17-8, 19-20, 20,
Mass-Observation, 81-3 34, 37, 51, 54, 54-6, 60, 60-1, 68,
McGonagall, 51-2, 51-2 168-9.
Meredith, George, 151-3, 165 Shaw, G. B., 16, 17, 29-30,32-7,32,
Millard, Lionel, 123 34-6, 98-9, 142, 260
Milne, A. A., 39 Shepperson, 39
Milton, 21 Sickert, W. R., 137-41
Mitford, Nancy, 165 Sitwell, Sir Osbert, r6r-3
Moliere, 33 Sitwells, The, 40
 INDEX

Smith, Horace and James, 113 Turner, E. S., 67

Smollett, 22, 164, 172-5
Spencer, 11 Ustinov, Peter, 125-6
Squire, Sir John, 7, 74-5, II7-8, 25 J,
25 I - 2 Walpole, Horace, 63-6
Steele, 21 Walpole, Sir Hugh, 72 - 6
Sterne, 43, 84, 87-8 Waugh, Evelyn, 3, 48
Strachey, Lytton, 29, 36, 38, 121 Webster, 21
Swift, 21,33, II4, 133 Wells, H. G., 29, 47, 75,104,239-40
West, Rebecca, 29
Taille, 4 Wilcox, Ella Wheeler, 53-4
Temple, Sir William, 26 Wilson, Angus, 229-3 I
Tennyson, Lord, 38 Wilson, Harriette, 234, 234-9
Torquemada, 84, 85-7 Wodehollse, P. G., 47
Townshend, F. H., 40 Wordsworth, William, 49, 49
Trollope, I53-4 Wyndham Lewis, D. B., 66, I20-1