E L E C T R I C

B ASTIONLAND

T H E T W E LV E F A I L E D C A R E E R S
OF ODDMAS
C H R I S M C D O W A L L
THE WRITING AND LAYOUT
CHRIS MCDOWALL

ODDMAS ART
PUBLIC DOMAIN

WRITTEN FOR
ELECTRIC BASTIONLAND

SPIRIT
FIND OUT MORE
AT BASTIONLAND.COM

Bastion is about as far as you can imagine from having a Those that do hold it to be sacred are the ones that
dominant faith or dominant culture. Nobody agrees on really can’t agree on things. Stories and ceremonies tend
anything, but everybody thinks that sharing is good. to be loose, bouncing around various common
elements, rather than a consistent canon.
As you might expect, these two factors can rub up
against each other from time to time. Typical themes are:
For as long as anybody remembers, various faiths, • Falling stars or visitors from above.
organisations, and borough councils have all agreed to
share the conglomerated festival of Oddmas • The sanctity of blood, children, and forgiveness.
throughout the peak of winter. • Oranges, raisins, and lights of any sort.
The few commonalities that most agree on are:
• Be jovial and nice to people for a while. The most vigorous discussion tends to focus around
• Get warm, full, well watered. what makes a suitable Oddmas beverage. Roll 2d6 to
find out.
• Sing, play games, or just generally take it easy for a
while.
AN ODDMAS DRINK
1 Treacly Rum Raw Egg and Nutmeg
At least one of these ideals is sure to appeal to anybody
in Bastion on some level, so most get involved even if 2 Berry Wine Burnt Orange
they don’t care about any deeper meaning.
3 Spiced Brandy Smashed Apple
4 Clove Tincture Effervescent Lemon
5 Nut Sherry Turkey Stock
6 Tawny Wine Salted Butter

2
RULES SUMMARY
SAVES: Roll d20 equal or under an ABILITY SCORE.
SCARS TABLE
Turns:When unclear, characters must pass a DEX SAVE DAMAGE CAUSED
to be able to act before their opponents.
1 Battlescar – A part of you is violently marked.
Attacking:All players declare who they are attacking Roll 1d6:
before any dice are rolled. Attackers roll the DAMAGE 1: Eye 2: Cheek 3: Neck
die dictated by their weapon, causing this much DAMAGE 4: Chest 5: Stomach 6: Hands
to the target.
Reroll your Maximum HP on d6 and keep the
For multiple attackers or weapons roll all dice together result if higher.
and keep the single highest die.
2 Shaken Nerves – You stammer and shake.
Bonuses: Roll the extra die noted e.g.“+d8”.
After you take something to calm your nerves,
ARMOUR:ARMOUR subtracts its score from DAMAGE reroll your Maximum HP on d6 and keep the
against the wearer. result if higher.
IMPAIRED: Roll d4 DAMAGE only, and you cannot receive 3 Hobbled – Reduced to a limp until fixed.
BONUS DAMAGE.
4 Smashed Mouth – You spit teeth and blood.You
DAMAGE: Lose that much HP. Any remaining DAMAGE is look a mess until you see a dentist.
removed from STR.They must then pass a STR SAVE to 5 Bloody Mess – You need stitches.You are
avoid CRITICAL DAMAGE. DEPRIVED until it’s done by a Specialist.
CRITICAL DAMAGE: Unable to do anything but crawl Reroll your Maximum HP on 2d6 and keep the
until they are tended to and REST. Die if left for an hour. result if higher.
BLAST DAMAGE:Affect all targets in the area, rolling 6 Punctured Organ – A vital organ is in a critical
separately for each. state. If you take CRITICAL DAMAGE before seeing a
Resting:A few minutes of REST restores all HP. Specialist you die.
Restoration:ABILITY LOSS and other serious ailments If you get it seen to, reroll your Maximum HP on
require a Specialist. 2d6 and keep the result if higher.
ABILITY Loss: If a character has their STR score 7 Maimed – A part of you is torn off.
reduced to zero they are dead. If their DEX or CHA Roll 1d6:
are reduced to zero the character is paralysed or 1: Nose 2: Ear 3: Finger
catatonic respectively, and cannot act. 4:Thumb 5: Eye 6: Chunk of Scalp
8 Torn Limb – A random limb is torn off or in
Combat Manoeuvres:The side most at risk makes a need of amputation.
SAVE to avoid consequences
9 Splintered Mind – You are DEPRIVED until you
Death: Creates a new character, they join the group as spend a whole evening emotionally unloading.
soon as possible. Extra £1k Debt for the group.
10 Shattered Ego – You are dealt a humiliating
BULKY Items: Items that need two hands. Anyone blow.
carrying more than two BULKY items is reduced to 0HP.
If you achieve revenge, reroll your Maximum HP
Deprivation: Someone DEPRIVED of a crucial need (e.g. on 3d6 and keep the result if higher.
food, water or warmth) cannot benefit from RESTS.
11 Fractured Skull – You feel like a slightly
Reaction:When a social reaction is uncertain, the different person. Reroll your CHA on 2d6.
character takes a CHA SAVE to avoid a negative reaction.
12 Doomed to Die – You shouldn't have survived
Morale:The leader of a group must pass a CHA SAVE that.You have nightmares of your own death.
to avoid their followers being routed when they take
their first casualty, or lose half of their total numbers. If you fail your next SAVE against CRITICAL DAMAGE
you die horribly. If you pass, remove this effect
Retreat: Fleeing to safety under pursuit requires a and reroll your Maximum HP on 3d6 and keep the
DEX SAVE and somewhere to run to. result if higher.
SCARS: If an attack takes you to exactly 0HP, take a SCAR.
Look up the amount of DAMAGE caused on the Scars 3
Table to the right.
4
 FAILED
CAREERS
1. Roll 3d6 each for STRength, For the CONDUCTOR, this section is
DEXterity, and CHArisma. your library of inspiration. Don’t let it
lie unused after characters are
2. You also have d6HP and generated.
d6 pounds in cash.
Bastionland is defined by its people
3. Finally, roll d12 for your Failed and their stories, and there are
Career. hundreds of examples in the pages
that follow. Use these people to spark
Whatever you find in your Failed your ideas for characters, locations,
Career represents your past.You may gossip, and events. Raid their
cling to it as it drifts from your life or possessions for Oddities and
turn your back on it entirely. equipment.Take their names and their
stories for your own.
If you desire extra information on any
abilities or equipment then have a In the illustrations, every face in the
discussion with the group and the background could be your next
CONDUCTOR makes the call. supporting cast member. Every distant
location could be your next scene.
Sample names are optional, and your
appearance can differ wildly from the Bastionland’s spirit is infused into
illustrated example. every page in this chapter. Put it to
use.
The youngest player consults the
Debtholder listed on their entry.The
whole group owes that individual or
organisation £10,000 as their shared
debt.

5
1.APPRENTICE TO A PAIRED TREE
Sent to learn the ways of the tree under one of their own
Now you share an unbreakable bond

SAMPLE NAMES: ALECTOR, PERDI,VERRO, FAZIS.

IF YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST PLAYER

THE WHOLE GROUP IS £10K IN DEBT TO...

Patchy Productions: A company that claims to offer any service imaginable, with little expertise in any.You all have
membership to their exclusive club for multi-lane entrepreneurs.The service is terrible.

6
 YOU GET
Pruning shears (d6), tree-calling bell (see below).

WHICH TREE EMERGES FROM THE GROUND WHEN YOU RING YOUR BELL?
Mistletoe Vine: Can strangle with its vines (2xd6) and force its poisonous berries into the victim’s
£1 mouth on CRITICAL DAMAGE, causing violent sickness and loss of d6 STR.
Moose Spruce: Charges out of the ground to ram a single victim (d10 DAMAGE) or break open any
£2 wooden obstacle. It takes the tree an hour or so to recover from this before it can charge again.
Vicious Juniper: Sprouts gently from the ground, bearing delicious smelling berries.Anybody eating them
£3 develops violent anger towards anybody else looking at the tree.
June Apple: Casts a warm glow under its branches.Anybody underneath can recover their Ability Scores
£4 if they spend an uninterrupted hour relaxing, enjoying the fruit, and praising the tree.
Leaden Pear: Its fruit turns to impossibly heavy lead a moment after being plucked. No known means
£5 can move the fruit after this transformation.
£6 Hamfruit Bush: Releases a hammy stink over a wide area, attracting carnivorous animals.

HOW HAS THE TREE PAIRING CHANGED YOU?

The Rooted Way: If you focus for a moment you root your feet in place. No power at all can move
1HP you, but you are still damaged as normal.

Barkskin: If you do the right ritual before going to sleep, you wake up with a layer of bark over your
2HP skin, which can be shed with a little help.This removes any toxins or other ailments from your body.

3HP Photosynthesis: Basking in the sun for an hour leaves you feeling well-fed.

4HP Treetongue: You can ask a tree a question, but must lick it to taste the answer.

Autumortality: Each night you painlessly shed some small body-parts, typically an ear, some hair, a few
5HP fingers.They grow back by the morning.

Evergreen Evolution: You don’t age, but one day you’ll still die. In practical terms it just means you
6HP generally look extra healthy and youthful.

7
2.TURTLE DEVOTEE Blessed are the shelled
Enlightened are the slow

SAMPLE NAMES: MULLEN, POP, HOVEN,ARBISON.

IF YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST PLAYER

THE WHOLE GROUP IS £10K IN DEBT TO...

The Crushing House: The wealthy bring luxury goods here to see them crushed into small cubes.You each have a
small cube that was once a valuable item.

8
 YOU GET
Shucking knife (d6), shell armour (ARMOUR 1).

WHY TURTLES?
Their Shell: You can retract your head into your body, still able to breathe but not able to see or hear
£1 anything.
Their Colour: With some focus you can turn your skin and clothes faintly green, enough to blend in well
£2 with greenery.
Their Slowness: When you are touching another being they cannot move faster than your own slow
£3 walk.
Their Long Life: You have learned many turtle-stories from the last century.You can talk about historical
£4 events from this period as if you were there.
£5 Their Amphibiosity: You can breathe in water.
Their Flavour: You were given the honour of eating a turtle that died of natural causes after a long and
£6 happy life. Replace your Shucking Knife with a Funerary Shucker (d8, +d8 vs shelled creatures, BULKY)

WHY NOT TORTOISES?

1HP TOO Shelly: Take a Tortoise Shield (+1 ARMOUR).

2HP TOO Green: Your melee attacks get +d6 against anything as green as a tortoise or more green.

3HP TOO Slow: Your melee attacks get +d6 against anything as slow as a tortoise or slower.

4HP TOO Long-lived: Your melee attacks get +d6 against any living thing older than you.

5HP TOO Dry: Your melee attacks get +d6 against any living thing that cannot swim.

6HP TOO Delicious: Your melee attacks get +d6 against any living thing that you know to be delicious.

9
3. FANCY POULTERER
The adventurous diner grows tired of the common birds
You specialised in the fanciest of fowl

SAMPLE NAMES: ERNARD, CORNEL, CRAY, ODILE.

IF YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST PLAYER

THE WHOLE GROUP IS £10K IN DEBT TO...

Micro Newfield: A small town that claims independence within the walls of Bastion.Take £100 in special Newfield-
Pounds that can only be spent there in their single, extremely poorly-stocked shop.This money cannot be used to
pay your Debt.

10
 YOU GET
Poultry-scale (weighs and values any bird that sits on it), poulterer’s knife (d6, +d6 vs edible birds).

WHAT BIRD DO YOU KEEP AS A PET?

Mouthed Fowl: 2HP, STR 5, CHA 18.Actually talks quiet politely, and rather good at keeping people
£1 engaged in conversation.
£2 Crown Turkey: 4HP, STR 6. Other birds recognise the royal nature of this bird and give them due respect.
Ailing Partridge: 1HP, STR 5. Seems to always be on the verge of death but cannot actually die,
£3 regenerating from any bodily harm.
£4 Crackerel: 2HP, STR 5. Can speak like a parrot but only knows an endless bank of terrible jokes.
Chris the Bird: 3HP, STR 6. Quite a famous performing bird... Except this one you have is just an imitator,
£5 unable to perform in any way. Still, the likeness is uncanny.
£6 Rough Pigeon: 4HP, STR 8, d6 peck. Has no manners at all.

WHO WAS YOUR CONTACT THAT ALLOWED YOU TO SOURCE SUCH FANCY BIRDS?
Travelling Spaceman: They taught you a star-song that people cannot help but join in with, even if they
1HP have never heard it before. It goes AAAAH-AH-AH-AAAAH-AH-AH-AAAH-AH-AH-AAAAH.

Pullet Park: Your personal bird is an unnaturally large variant. Double their STR, grant them a d8 Beak,
2HP and you can ride them.
The Bird BIRD (Breed Institute of Research and Development) Board: Take an Edibility Probe. If
3HP pushed into something it reveals whether it is safe for the wielder to consume and gives a general flavour
profile.

Bubbly Mick: An annoyingly chirpy charmer that you got very good at tolerating.You can “tune out” any
4HP sound you wish at will, even the most harmful.

The Western Seventeen: The most feared gang of street-bird-dealers in their Borough.Take a
5HP concealed Bird-Gun (d6, Blast vs Birds only).

The Henquisition: A collection of Mock Fowl that hunt, trial, and sentence real birds for their perceived
6HP crimes.Take a Nodding Holder (Holds a subdued bird in place, granting it the ability to understand
questions, but can only nod or not-nod in response, never knowingly lying.)

11
4. COALIE BIRD The canaries had a better union than you
Even the miners liked them more

SAMPLE NAMES: SUBBIT,ANTHRA, LIGNEY, SVALT.

IF YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST PLAYER

THE WHOLE GROUP IS £10K IN DEBT TO...

Sir Ricarte of Precipice: Knight of Old Bastion granted functional immortality through his suit of polished armour.
Take a signed photograph of Ricarte each.

12
 YOU GET
Small pick (d6), alarm whistle.

WHAT SIDE EFFECT HAVE THE FUMES HAD ON YOU?

Tox-lung: If you concentrate hard then once per day you can belch out toxicity onto a nearby target.They
£1 immediately lose d6 STR.

£2 The Stefan Shakes: You vibrate slightly in the presence of airborne toxins.
Natural Coal Monarch: You have a strange bond with coal. If you hold it in your hand for a moment it
£3 ignites.

£4 Silent as Night: You make no sound at all when moving in the dark.
Eyes Made Out of Coal: Your eyes are all black, but you can see in the dark and spot weak points in
£5 natural stone.

£6 Red Nose: Looks pretty silly, some people might laugh and call you names.

HOW DID YOU TRY (AND FAIL) TO ENDEAR YOURSELF TO THE MINERS?
M’Lady’s Prayer: If you chant this prayer at sunrise then you grant one ally a reroll of a single die to be
1HP used before sunset.

2HP Never Ending Bells: Take a set of tuned hand-bells.

3HP Fairytales of Bastion: You know a bunch of depressing stories.Take a bottle of whisky.

4HP Cumulative Songs: You know a series of songs that essentially go on forever.

5HP Oddmas Every Day: Take a festive outfit.You are DEPRIVED when not wearing it.

6HP Heartbeat Step: When a friend calls your name in a time of need you materialise right next to them.

13
5. GOLD RING GRAPPLER
They say your fights weren’t real
Your injuries say otherwise

SAMPLE (OUT OF RING) NAMES: ALOIUS, FRANZIS, RODNEY, REYA.

IF YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST PLAYER

THE WHOLE GROUP IS £10K IN DEBT TO...

The Bandage Group: A self serving group of socialites fronting as a charity.Take a set of invites to a society event.

14
 YOU GET
Colourful costume matching your gimmick, strong hands (2xd6 DAMAGE when fighting unarmed).

WHAT WAS YOUR IN-RING GIMMICK AND SPECIAL MOVE?

The Puddinger - Pudding Slam : Target makes a STR Save. If they fail you smash them through a wall
£1 or piece of furniture for d12 DAMAGE. If they pass you’re knocked down and compelled to act knocked-out
until the fight ends.
Reverend Skull - Confession Choke: Cause CRITICAL DAMAGE to put the victim to a harmless sleep,
£2 confessing to a secret right before they pass out.
Slaughter Shark - Feeding Frenzy: Target makes a DEX Save. If they fail you bite them and go into
£3 Feeding Frenzy.Your unarmed attacks do d8 DAMAGE each for the rest of the fight. If they pass you’re
knocked down and compelled to act knocked-out until the fight ends.
Platinum Rhinoceros - Diving Horn: If you attack by leaping from a height of at least 10ft you cause
£4 d12 DAMAGE but take d6 DAMAGE yourself.
Doctor Bad - Viledriver: Only works on a target that is distracted by something else.The target takes
£5 d12 DAMAGE.
Reptile the Lizard - Serpentplex: Causes d10 DAMAGE. If you roll 5+ you can repeat this attack on
£6 your next turn, otherwise you cannot use this move again for this fight.

WHAT WAS YOUR OUT-OF-RING STRUGGLE?

(DOES NOT AFFECT YOU IN A RING)
Brand Addiction: You are DEPRIVED if you spend a day without eating some of the chocolates, sweets, or
1HP cereal that carry the Gold Ring Grappler branding.

Turnbuckle-elbow: If you fall from greater than your own height you must pass a STR test or else one
2HP arm is useless until you see a medical expert.

Epiplaphobia: You are terrified of potentially weaponised furniture. Lose d8 CHA if forced to sit in a
3HP metal chair or use a wooden table.

Ladder-lung: When climbing you must focus on your balance so much that you cannot speak or breathe
4HP at the same time.

Kayfabe: When somebody calls you by your non-stage name you are DEPRIVED for the rest of the day until
5HP you avenge the slight somehow.

Entrance Block: When you enter a room with music playing you are DEPRIVED for the rest of the day if
6HP you not perform your ostentatious ring-entrance.

15
6. GOOSE ALLAYER
You were charged with calming the least-calm of birds
Now your service is over

SAMPLE NAMES: VISTIN, CHOVY,ALSASS, EMDON.

IF YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST PLAYER

THE WHOLE GROUP IS £10K IN DEBT TO...

Cavalry Halters: An organisation that feel riding any animal is a form of abuse.Together you share loaned
ownership of a mechanical steed. It’s unreliable, slow, and uncomfortable for the rider.

16
 YOU GET
Pecked neck and bill-bruises.

WHAT WAS YOUR TOOL OF THE TRADE?

£1 Goose-Noose: d6, +d8 vs large waterfowl.

£2 Calming Horn: 50% chance to calm or enrage large waterfowl.

£3 Bed Bread: Anybody eating even a few crumbs becomes sleepy and placid.
Winging-Axe: d6, specially shaped to be able to catch the wing of anything that tries to fly away from
£4 you, dragging it back down to earth.

£5 Bird-Dazzle Stick: A long pole with a flashing electric light at the end. Confuses birds for a moment.

£6 Goose-Hound: 4HP, can imitate the honk of an alpha-goose.

WHAT PSYCHOLOGICAL SCAR DO YOU BEAR?

1HP Anatidaephobia: Lose d8 CHA whenever you have to confront a water-fowl.

Specific attachment: You are emotionally bonded to one particular goose (3HP, d4 peck).They follow
2HP you casually but do not seem especially attached in return. If they die you are DEPRIVED until you give them
a proper funeral.

Dread from above: You are DEPRIVED while under open skies, where a flock could descend on you at any
3HP moment.

4HP Egg hatred: You physically cannot eat egg.Your body would reject it immediately.

5HP Nest craving: You cannot sleep properly unless in a real or imitation bird’s nest.

Involuntary honk: When it is very important that you are quiet you must pass a CHA Save or else let
6HP out a loud honk.

17
7.SWORN SWIMMER
Born in the water, you took an oath never to step on land or vessel
Something has forced you to renounce that solemn pact

SAMPLE NAMES: TRUDJEN, ZEPIA, PAPLON, OSCROWL.

IF YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST PLAYER

THE WHOLE GROUP IS £10K IN DEBT TO...

Union of Waitresses and Wrappers: Take a selection of self-adhesive bows and tags.

18
 YOU GET
Fantastic lungs (you never really tire or get out of breath).

HOW DID YOU DEFEND YOURSELF IN THE WATER?

£1 Pet Shark: 5HP, d8 jaws. Can tolerate fresh-water but obviously can’t follow you on land.

£2 Harpoon Gun: d8, BULKY. Comes with its own steel wire.
Dunk-Grappling: When you fight in water with an enemy that cannot breathe underwater your melee
£3 attacks get +d8.
Martial Anchor: d8, +d6 in water, BULKY. On Critical CRITICAL DAMAGE when fighting in water you can
£4 release the anchor to send the victim down to the abyss.

£5 Aquacannon: d8 Blast, BULKY. Only works when you’re in water attacking a target on land.
Weed Snare: d6, can be used in melee or thrown. If you roll 5+ the target is snagged and cannot move
£6 from their position, but can still attack normally.

WHAT DROVE YOU ASHORE?

1HP Hatred of Fish: Regain a point of CHA each time you watch a fish die.

2HP Hunger for Fruit: You can smell and identify fruit from a great distance.

Doomed Romance: Take a Locket with photograph.You are DEPRIVED each hour you do not spend a
3HP moment looking at it mournfully.

4HP Enemies in the Water: If you ever go in the sea you’re immediately set upon by an old foe.

Motivational Lobster: Sits on your shoulder and gives encouraging noises if you think about doing
5HP something that might ruin your life.

Eternal Hypothermia: You are DEPRIVED unless warming yourself next to a fire or other source of
6HP warmth.

19
8.MALADY MILKER You’ve had the worst life
So that others didn’t have to

SAMPLE NAMES: TUBO,VAYS,TUNKATE, SQUIRT.

IF YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST PLAYER

THE WHOLE GROUP IS £10K IN DEBT TO...

Society for the Protection of Dry Burglars: You each get a Safety Helmet (protects against objects dropped
from directly above) and Grip Shoes (grips to even the most slippery surfaces).

20
 YOU GET
Tragic diary.

WHAT METHOD ALLOWS YOU TO MILK MALADIES FROM OTHERS?

Temporary Conjoinment: If you sleep in contact with another person you wake up conjoined to them.
£1 This wears off after a day, but during that time you absorb any harm that comes to them.

£2 Ethical Vampirism: If you drink somebody’s blood you can absorb any toxins or illness from them.

£3 Ailment Assault: You can punch an ailment out of somebody if they let you, but they lose d4 STR.
Observational Empathy: When you witness somebody suffer an injury, STR loss, or a Scar, you may
£4 take that negative effect instead.
Karmic Leeching: Whenever you roll the worst result possible on a die, note down one Karmic Credit.
£5 You can spend these at any point to allow somebody else to reroll a single die. If you try and cheat this
with irrelevant rolls then the Karmic system ignores you.
Causal Editing: If somebody provides you with a written report of something bad that happened to
£6 them you can spend a few hours editing it to have it happen to you instead.

WHAT SIDE EFFECT HAS ALL THIS HAD ON YOU?

Quantum Immunity: If you die, but your body is left relatively intact somewhere unobservable, you
1HP return the next day.

2HP Pitiful Aura: If you are alone, no being ever perceives you as a threat.

Omen-sense: When something bad is about to happen you get a few seconds warning in the back of
3HP your head.

Cursed Blessing: You can give one being per day your Blessing.Their attacks and attacks against them
4HP both get +d12 for the rest of the day.

Vengeful Recovery: When you take CRITICAL DAMAGE you can choose to fight on and make an
5HP immediate attack. If you cause CRITICAL DAMAGE or kill your opponent then you shake off any further harm,
if you do not then you die.

Luck Aversion: When you roll the best possible result on a die you suffer a painful cramp and are
6HP DEPRIVED until you either take DAMAGE or fail a Save.

21
9. LAYMAN DUNCER
The incorrect need correcting and shaming
The ignorant must be kept behind the gate

SAMPLE NAMES: SCOTUS,ALQUIN, PESTA,ABALARD.

IF YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST PLAYER

THE WHOLE GROUP IS £10K IN DEBT TO...

Foundation for Slain Riders: Take a stuffed toy horse wearing mourning clothes.

22
 YOU GET
Rebuking cane (d6, +d8 if you had just corrected a factual error by the target).

HOW ARE YOU SO WELL VERSED IN PEDANTRY?

Studied Under a Master: They still follow you (4HP, STR 5, CHA 5) but only offer criticism, no help or
£1 guidance.

£2 Raised in a Library: If you ever need to find a specific book somewhere you can do so in d6 minutes.
Bibliovore: You can eat a page from a book to get the general gist of it. Eating the whole thing gives a full
£3 understanding but takes a while and requires condiments and wine.
Nothing Else Going on in Your Life: You are an utter personality vacuum. Nobody remembers you or
£4 can bear to pay attention to you for more than a passing moment.
Bred for This Very Purpose: You can smell when somebody is speaking about a topic they are not fully
£5 versed in.The stronger the ignorance the more disgusting the odour.

£6 Sent to a School with Experimental Levels of Strictness: You no longer feel physical pain.

HOW DID YOU SHAME YOUR VICTIMS?

Dummy Cap: If placed in somebody’s head they cannot fathom a way to remove it and cannot use
1HP words longer than two syllables.

Mind Weight: Small lead weight with a hook. If hung on somebody’s person without them knowing they
2HP feel a general sense of having forgotten something, unable to focus on any other task.They will never find
the weight unless somebody points it out to them.

3HP Mocking Bird: A green walking-bird (2HP) that quietly mimics anybody arguing with you.

Scattered Acolytes: If you ever get into a public argument one of your acolytes appears to clap and
4HP cheer your points, regardless of how good they are.

Rhetoric Onslaught: You can keep any argument going long enough that you technically win. If your
5HP opponent keeps arguing they lose d6 CHA after the first few minutes, d8 CHA after an hour, and d10
CHA after a day. If they are still arguing after that you lose d12 CHA.

The List: You keep a list of everybody that you have corrected. Note down your Top 3.Their attacks
6HP against you are IMPAIRED.

23
10. LADY/LAD-A-LOOPIN
The modern musician has no need for instruments
Just the right box of wires and tape

SAMPLE NAMES: LYON,TADDEUS, CHILHAUS, LORENZ.

IF YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST PLAYER

THE WHOLE GROUP IS £10K IN DEBT TO...

Donna Lightning: A Mock Reindeer obsessed with electric augmentations. Each take a Shock Ring (d8, ignore
ARMOUR, one charge only).

24
 YOU GET
Mobile tape-player and electric speakers, reel-hook (d6).

WHAT’S YOUR SUB-GENRE?

Frosty-Hop: When you play your music nobody can move faster than a light jog, but they also can’t stand
£1 still.
Post-Steam: When you drop the bass all non-electric machines stop working until the end of the track. If
£2 they are steam powered they blow steam everywhere. Monocles fall.
Vapey-Sad: Anybody that listens to the entirety of one of your tracks feels the joy leave their body.Any
£3 sort of desire of motivation they had is lost until they have a lie down and a cry.
Aauwugh!: +d10 DAMAGE when you make an improvised attack that involves breaking a piece of
£4 machinery or furniture.

£5 Hot Potato: Your beats are hot enough to cook vegetables in the area.

Prancerdance: The music sounds good, but anybody trying to dance to it looks ridiculous and loses d10
£6 CHA.

WHAT’S YOUR PRIZED PIECE OF EQUIPMENT?

Echo Gloves: You can “record” an action with your right hand, such as pushing a button or punching
1HP somebody.When you click your left hand, that action repeats even if you are nowhere near it.

Phase Pump: Causes reality to drift just out of phase with itself. Everybody in sight of you must pass a
2HP CHA Save or fall into an existential sickness.Things snap back to normal after a moment, smacking you for
d10 DAMAGE of realignment-whiplash.

Crowd Shifter: You can increase or decrease the perceived size and intensity of a crowd from 10-300%.
3HP Things snap back to normal when the track ends.

Static Overdrive: Has three settings:

Blender:After a few moments any non-living organic matter trembles to a mush.
4HP Cruncher:After a few moments any ceramic or glass shatters.
Muffler:After a few moments anybody listening finds their voice is distorted beyond recognition for the
next hour.

Visual Doubler: When you play, an immaterial double of you appears.You control its actions, but it
5HP vanishes as soon as either of you stops playing.

Wham-Button: You can compress a whole track into one beat.Anybody hearing it is deafened for the
6HP next few minutes while their brain catches up.

25
11. PRIMAL PIPER
You followed the ancient tradition of rousing vermin through music
You also roused public complaints

SAMPLE NAMES: SHANTER, PAYCE, HEMPING, FERRULE.

IF YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST PLAYER

THE WHOLE GROUP IS £10K IN DEBT TO...

Vancer & Prixen Comet Studies: Take shared ownership of a BULKY telescope.

26
 YOU GET
Set of Vermin-Pipes (can attract or repel vermin when played).

WHAT SPECIAL ATTACHMENT DO YOUR PIPES HAVE?

£1 Flame Belcher: d8 Blast.

£2 Siren Whistle: You have an attract mode instead of a repel mode.

Polyphone: Can be played on both Attract and Repel modes simultaneously, causing vermin in the area
£3 d6 CHA loss each turn in confusion.

£4 Buffer-Bag: You can queue up five minutes of playing and leave the pipes to play themselves.

£5 Hypnode: Puts vermin to a gentle sleep, as long as they’re not already on edge.

£6 Jangle Bells: No way to keep these things quiet while moving around.

WHY DID YOU GET SO MANY COMPLAINTS?

1HP Volume: Your pipes can be heard across an entire Borough.

Dance: Your pipes cause involuntary dancing in humans, most of which don’t want to encourage you.
2HP They can still act under their own will, but must dance at the same time.

Costume: Your outfits cause eye-strain to anybody looking at you for a prolonged amount of time.
3HP Ranged attacks against you after the first are IMPAIRED.

Violence: When you play your pipes there’s a 1-in-6 chance the vermin are stirred into a violent rage
4HP instead of the intended effect.You cannot do this on purpose.

Growth: When you play your pipes there’s a 1-in-6 chance the vermin grow to a monstrous size instead
5HP of the intended effect.You cannot do this on purpose.

6HP Children: Human children are affected by your pipes as if they were vermin.

27
12. DRUMBELLEER
You were charged with the tuning of all large bells and drums
The modern ear cares less for such tuneful precision

SAMPLE NAMES: DAMZEDI, MINGON,TEMBER, GREYTOM.

IF YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST PLAYER

THE WHOLE GROUP IS £10K IN DEBT TO...

Little Ron: A mock pony that seems nice enough but has some horrifying contacts in Bastion’s worst circles. Sends
you encouraging postcards throughout your journey, with hints of menace.

28
 YOU GET
Multi-setting tuning fork.

WHERE DID YOU DO YOUR MOST DANGEROUS WORK?

£1 Towers: You can climb external stonework like a spider.

Temples: You understand a good amount about any faith just by looking at the architecture of their place
£2 of worship.

£3 Schools: You have learned a noise that terrifies children. It even works on young animals.

£4 Barracks: Take a concealed rifle (d8, BULKY, takes a turn to assemble/collapse) and grenade (d8 Blast).

£5 Council Halls: You’re owed a small favour by one person in every Borough Council in Bastion.

Arenas: Take a trident (d8, BULKY) and net (DEX Save to dodge or remove.Attacks against netted targets
£6 get +d6).

WHICH INSTRUMENT DID YOU KEEP FOR YOURSELF?

Tension Snare: Performing a drum-roll on this before somebody attempts something genuinely risky
1HP allows them to roll the Save twice and keep the best result.

Ominous Glockenspiel: If you play this quietly in a minor key people feel unsettled. If they are alone
2HP and can hear the music they start to make idiotic decisions out of fear.

3HP Dinner Gong: Striking this causes any animals or children in earshot to run to you, expecting food.

Portable Timpani: Has a lovely low rumble and wheels allowing it to be pushed around. Doubles as
4HP storage, but this ruins the sound somewhat.

5HP Sharpened Cymbal: Can be thrown (d8).

6HP Jug-Bell: Can be blown or rung. Easily disguised as a normal jug.

29
W H E R E V E R YO U
FIND THE ODD

IT FEELS LIKE
BASTIONLAND