Dirty Treasures

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Chapter 1
Chapter 1
"Is everyone here?"-He asked looking around Rusev and Mike standing firmly next to him.
I find myself looking around as well and roll my eyes since this is honestly becoming a bore.
We've been sitting for 15 minutes for all the girls to come together in this lounge but there are still a few
lost asses who can't be punctual even for a meeting that happens once a month. "I swear..."-Zama
started "...I'm going to stand up and leave if we wait here for another minute."
I chuckle. "Me and you both."
Then finally Jack brought out the 2 whores who've been standing in the way of progress. They're both
pushed onto a couch.
"Finally..."-I mumble to myself and focus back on Nqoba who clears his throat. "Now without wasting
more precious time my dimes I'd like to adress a few things."
He holds out his hand and Rusev puts a piece of paper there. "Firstly. Nomvelo I got a complaint from
Mr Young...care to explain yourself?"-Nqoba says in his deep and sexy voice. I've honestly fantasised
about him only because he was your typical tall dark and freaken handsome guy.
"Uhmm...boss...I I..."-Nomvelo starts but Nqoba is having none of it.

"Since when do you stutter Nomvelo?"-He asks her.
Sheesh.
"I don't stutter sir."-she answers him in a low voice.
"Then answer me. Why did I receive a complaint from Mr Young?"-Nqoba asks her giving Rusev back the
paper.
This is probably the best time to mention that Tiger dearest was messing around with her when she
clearly had to be with Mr Young.
Tebogo or aka Tiger has been an absolute burden to us ladies. He's Nqoba's second in command and a
complete waste of space.
He's the type that would do whatever he wanted when Nqoba wasn't here and when he was he would
be a wet dog the whole time. Just like he was right now.
I eye him and he's not even blinking as he stared at Nomvelo who clearly had to lie to save all our asses.
"I'm waiting for you answer Nomvelo."-Nqoba.
"He didn't...he didn't want to follow the rules and regulations sir."-she lies blatantly.
We all know the rules and regulations of this place only because it's the first thing you learn by heart
when you get here.
"Is that so? Which one?"-he grills her putting his hands inside the pockets of his tight pants.
Oh I want to touch his beard so bad!
I shift between Zama's legs and pull my knees up to my chest. She was on the couch while I was on a
cushion on the floor.
"The...the condom one."-Nomvelo says.
I watch how Nqoba processes this news before clearing his throat for the second time today and nods.
He looks at the piece of paper again and reads. "Zama good girl. "
"Wayaz (You know it) boss."-she says and I roll my eyes. She's my only friend here.
"Zinhle..."-Nqoba starts.
She -Zinhle- is the biggest skank here. She makes the most money out of all of us.
"...you did good baby girl. 20%"-Nqoba finishes off and I hear her squeal out of excitement.
Okay that concludes today's meeting then. I was already halfway on the rise when Nqoba asked me
"And then? Who said I was done talking?"
I pout. "Uhmm force of habit sir"
"Sit down Azania."-Him.
Oh I like how my name just rolls off this tongue!
I obey him and sit back down on the cushion. Zama chuckles along with the 15 other girls in here.
"Now before Ms Mnguni rudely interrupted me I was going to announce our highest profit maker this
whole month. She'll be getting 40% extra on her monthly pay."
Well I'll be gobsmacked. Who in the name of all that's holy made more money than Mrs hoe-of-the-
year?
We're all looking around and everyone is just as shocked.
"Ms Mnguni well done."-he says.
Sheesh.
Me?
What do you do at a time like this?
Rejoice for being at everyone's service?
"That's impossible! "-Zinhle.
"Oh yes it is possible."-Zama.
I don't really care about anything other than the fact that I can do my hair and nails in peace now.
---
"How's your schedule looking like?"-Zama asks me as she put a few pieces of chicken breast onto a hot
pan and allowed it to sizzle.
"My schedule? I have don't a client today. I'm just going to be lazing around nje in this place. I'll probably
even hog the remote. "-I reply getting onto the counter and sit. "You?"
She shrugs. "Mr regular degular is probably coming tonight..."
"Peter?"
"Yep."-she says and attends to her already cooked spaghettiadding what she'd call her special sauce.
She is my personal cook too and believe me when I say she's good.
My grandmother did try and teach me how to cook but it was never in my interest to learn how to do
that.
"Should we go spicy with today's meal?"-Zama asks a smirk on her face.
I nod licking my lips already thinking of the sweet and succulent food I'm about to eat.
"You should stop doing that when you see Nqoba."-Zama.
"Stop doing what?"-I ask watching her turn the meat to the other side.
"Licking your lips like he's a piece of meat."
"But he is a piece of meat."-I justify. She chuckles.
"A married piece of meat."
"And when has that ever stopped anyone in here?"

She looks at me before focusing back on her pots. "Azania..."- she warns and I roll my eyes.
"Relax I won't touch him unless he touches me first."-I say and we both share a mischievous laugh.
Tiger walks into the kitchen looking like his normal self. Leather jacket jeans golf tshirt carvella's and a
bucket hat. Today he's even added 2 tacky looking gold chains as if the gold teeth weren't enough.
"Ladies mantombazane."-He greets and only Zama replies to him while I take my phone out to distract
myself. "Azania nawe ngiyakubulisa (I'm greeting you too)"
My eyes dart to him as I mumble a "Hi."
"I forgot how rude you can get."-he says folding his arms in front of his chest chewing gum like there
was no tomorrow.
"You came all the way to the kitchen to tell me how rude I am?"-I ask and he lifts an eyebrow before
spitting out his gum into his hand and tossing it into the dustbin.
"No pussy-of-the-month. I'm here to tell you that Mr Sipho Zwane is requesting your presence today at
20h00 sharp."-Tiger says and I want to scream.
Not when I honestly thought I wasn't going anywhere today and not with that man. Bless his soul
but...I...
"Is that an excuse I hear coming along?"-he asks moving forward.
"Hau? Zama did my subconscious say something right now?"-I ask sarcastically my eyes still glued to
Tebogo.
"Nope."-Zama.
"Okay good. I'll get a driver ready for you too then."-Tebogo says and winks at me before turning to
leave.
"Yaz (you know) I can't wait until the actual boss finds out what that idiot does when he isn't around. "
"Chommie! Same..!"-Zama stated and turned to me "...mind your head."
She took out 2 plates and started dishing up for us. "Shall we go and stuff our faces in your room?"-she
asks me and I nod getting off the counter. We both head to the second floor where our rooms were.
This place was honestly huge and if you were a newbie to this area you'd swear it was a hotel.
The 3 storey building consisted of individual rooms for each girl here and boom-boom rooms where all
the nasty bits were done.
The boom-boom rooms were at the top floor our bedrooms in the middle floor and the lounge kitchen
sitting room with huge TV as well as a fireplace was at the bottom. We shared the bottom meaning if
you find the remote unattended then it's yours.
It's funny to know that we still fight for it because not everyone around here enjoys watching
Generations or Isidingo.
"On second thought maybe we should go eat in my room."-Zama said when I walked into my room.
"What's wrong with my room?"-I ask sitting on my bed.
"Everything. How much paint does one person need?"-She asks me putting her food on the bed and
brings a chair closer.
"A lot thanks for even reminding me that I need to stock up."-I reply.
She removes a painting that I had been working on since last week. A red rose. I have no idea why I
painted it but it's there. I paint what I feel and paint to release all my worries and troubles.
It's become a coping mechanism because in this industry you do tend to lose yourself. Sometimes to
drugs and even more drugs.
"This is actually good."-She says putting it with my other paintings. "Don't forget me when you become
rich."-She says and chuckles sitting next to me.
"Imagine...a painting prostitute."-I joke.
"Ha friend wena (you) just don't forget me."-She says and we finish our meal over a stupid conversation.
She leaves with our plates and I get a chance to tidy up in here. I throw away all the empty paint
containers and open my window letting some fresh air in.
At 18h00 I go and take my shower. I don't bother shaving since I did that yesterday. I step out dry my
body and lotion before going to my closet to search for something I can wear.
I wonder ideally what Baba likes cause 5 days ago -when he came here for hookup night- was the first
time I was with him. Hookup night is every Friday. It's a night where men with lots of cash come here
and...you know.
I end up picking a lacey thong with a matching bra. I comb my weave and put on some make up. I take a
knee high trenchcoat and put it on. I finish off my look with a pair of black red bottoms that match with
the coat. I check the time before walking out of my room and lock it. I pass Zinhle Celia and Trish.
"We can go."-I say to the driver of the SUV I'm in. He nods and drives on out of here. I'm nervous.
But I comfort myself with the fact that he's no stranger and if anything was going to happen he'd feel
the burn of my mighty pepper spray.
The driver pulls up in front of a gate. My eyes swim to the house in front of us and I think my eyes go
wide. The gate slides open and we drive in.
This house is beautiful.
My driver steps out and comes all the way around to my side. He opens my door and gives me space to
get out.
"Damn."-I mumble to myself and bite on my bottom lip before remembering that they were smothered
in lipstick earlier.
"Are you sure this is the right place?"-I ask him and like all the other drivers I've had in the past he nods.
Sheesh!
I flip my hair back before making my way to the front door. I hope there are no dogs here because dogs
and I aren't really the best of friends.
I swallow hard and reach my finger out to press the button. I listen attentively as it rings and seconds
later the door swings open bringing Baba Zwane in to full view.
"My diamond. Please come in."-He says and I put on the best smile on my face. His hand goes around
my waist as he closes the door behind me.
"You look ravishing my diamond that neck piece really brings out your eyes."-He says.
I too was admiring this pearl necklace.
"Come lets have a drink."
I walk with him his hand still firmly on my waist as we make our way to an open plan lounge area. "Sit on
down."
I sit down throwing my one leg over the other and unbutton the two top buttons of my coat. He walks
off to a glass table and pours us both a glass of bubbly. The bottle goes back into a bucket filled with ice.
"Thank you Baba."-I acknowledge taking the bubbly from him and take a sip. "Mhnn..."
"You like that?"-He asks and I nod talking another sip feeling the bubbles dance on my tongue.
"So...you live here?"-I blurt the question out.
Why does that even matter?
"Yes you like it?"
"İt's a sight."-I utter and take another sip.
"Just like you are."-He says and if I was interested in him in that way then I swear I would've been in
blushingville right now.
"Flattery will get you anywhere Baba."
"I'm hoping it does."-He says.
There's an awkward moment of silence. Both of us just downing the Moët like juice.
"Refill?"
"Yes please."-He gets up and takes the bottle. He refills my glass and his.
"Why don't we uhmm...take this upstairs."
I get up fixing my coat. He reaches for my hand and we walk heading towards the flight of wooden
stairs. "You're into politics?"-I ask when I spot a picture of him and few known politicians. Julius being
one of them.
"I am a politician baby."-Him.
He pushes open a door. It's a bedroom. A very spacious one. "You first my lady."
I sit on his bed and check the time on my phone. 20h34.
He removes his suit and throws it on the couch in here. The grey walls of this room make it feel cold. I
put the glass of bubbly on the bedside table and focus on him.
"I wonder what you have on underneath that coat."
"Wanna see...?"-I question parting my legs a little just to tease.
He swallows and licks his bottom lip.
My hands start unbuttoning the unbuttoned buttons of my coat and reveal my half nakedness. He takes
in a sharp breath. "I'm guessing you're pleased."-me.
He nods.
"Stand up I want to see more."-Baba commands.
I'm smirking as I stand up and drop the coat on the floor.
"Yoh...can you see what you're doing to me?"-he points to his crotch.
No.
"Mhmm yes."
"Wait here."-Baba says and rushes off to what I assume is a closet. I on the other hand take a quick sip
of my bubbly asking the gods of hoeville to be with me as I take this journey. He comes back holding a
paperbag from adult world.
Sheesh.
His hand appears again after digging in the paperbag holding fluffy handcuffs. No!
"Lie on the bed for me."-He says and I hesitate getting on. "Azania."
I heave out a sigh and eventually get on. The idea of having his big self on me while I'm cuffed doesn't
necessary sound clit-throbbing. In conclusion he's just not clit-throbbing at all.
He's beside me. He takes my one arm and cuffs it to on one of the wooden poles of his headboard. He
does the same with my other arm. I try moving my hands to see if they're really really locked and stop
when I get my answer. He goes to stand at the edge of the bed.
My eyes are on him. Watching and waiting in agony as to what he's going to do next. He holds both my
ankles and pulls me until the cuffs press on my wrists. "Ouch...baba!"
"Sorry Diamond."-he says.
He hooks my thong and pull it down and forces my legs apart.
Slow down old man...
"You have any other piercings? "-He disturbs the silence looking at my bellybutton.
"Yes..."-I answer feeling one of his thick fingers on the lips of my girl.
"Let Baba see."
"I'd show you if you didn't cuff me."-I say. I watch him lick on the fingers that were on my slit a moment
ago.
"Then tell baba where they are."-His hand goes back to my slit and with the wet fingers he rubs gently
on my clit. Why am I liking this?
"Nipples...they're on my nipples."-I reply quickly when his finger penetrates my entrance.

"Wow."-He breathes out and reaches out to my bra.
"Someone is starting to enjoy themselves. "-I hear him say.
"Mhmm Baba...trust me I am."
I suddenly feel his warm tongue on my clit and gasp for air. It flickers through my folds capturing me in a
cage I didn't expect I'd get from Zwane. A cage of pleasure.
My thighs press against his head as I let out a moan when his fingers start to plunge deeper and faster in
me...
I'm on the edge of losing myself when he halts with everything. My eyes shoot open and I look at him
feeling like kicking him where the sun doesn't shine.
"What the f-..."
"Shhhh...I think my wife is home."-he whispers.
Wife? Home? Shit?
"Sipho! Sipho!"-I hear a female voice yell and it was getting closer.
"Uncuff me!"-I whisper loud enough for him to hear.
"I...I can't find the keys!"-He whispers back.
Zimu...(Lord)
This can't be happening!
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Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Well there goes my life.
"She's not supposed to back yet."-He says and scratches his bold head.
I feel like strangling him to death!

"What do you mean you lost the keys?!"-I ask struggling to sit on my butt.
"They were in my pockets now now but-..."-he starts but I cut him off.
"Go and distract her!"-I scold him still whispering.
I see him scratch his head once again before quickly going off to attend his wife whose supposed to
away.
I keep dead quiet as I listen to their conversation and cringe when I remember that my handbag is
downstairs. I hope she didn't see it!
Oh gosh I feel like crying!
"Agnes ufunani la? (What do you want here?)"-He asks closing the door behind him.
"I forgot a file here Sipho. Have you seen it?"-She asks her voice sweet and high.
"What file?"
"My budgeting file baby. I won't be able do anything without it. "-I hear her answer.
"Oh...that one. Uhmm I think I saw it somewhere in our bedroom. "-He states.
"Let me go and check if...entlek (actually) what are you doing in the spare bedroom? "
I hear Baba stutter! You never stutter when you're bound to save your behind!
"I...I was fixing the light bulb you told me I should fix."
"I told you to fix that ages ago and you decide to do that now? Anyway do you babe...I love you neh
(okay)"-She says and he replies with an "I love you too."
They mumble something that I can't hear and I thank the gods of hoeville for really coming through for
me in this time of need.
But then I heard it...

The words that made my heart stop for a minute.
"Who's perfume am I smelling on you Sipho."
"I don't wear perfume so it must...be uhmm one of the ladies at work."-He replies and there's a quarrel
before the door shoots open.
Zimu!
"What the heck is going on here?"-She asks calmly. Too calmly for my liking.
I could probably lie my way out of this by saying he kidnapped me and cuffed me here against my will or
honestly admit that I didn't know he was married. Either way I was embarrassed. Here I am laying on a
bed bra cups underneath my boobs and my panties way across the room.
"Sipho! Yini lokhu? (What's this?)"-she asks him finally raising her voice.
"Agnes baby...I was just uhmm..."
"You were just what Sipho Yaz ungijwayela amasimba Sipho! (You're shutting on me Sipho!)"-That's
when she actually bends and when she raises again I see a red kitten heel in her hold. "Amanyala
(nonsense) Sipho!"-the shoe comes flying towards me as fast as lighting.
I duck. "Heeh!"-Agnes. She plunges at me. Baba tries to stop her but in my mind I already have my kung
fu moves ready.
"Agnes she didn't know I was married please calm down man."-baba Zwane says.
Agnes stops fighting in his hold and out of nowhere slaps the guy right across the face.
"I hate you."-She says in her calm voice. She works herself out of his grip and storms off. This old hag is
frozen on one spot until we both hear the sound of a door being closed.
Baba sighs before turning to look at me. He keeps on shaking his head as he walks towards the bed and
sits at the edge. There's silence in the room. The only thing audible is my loud heartbeat beating against
my now cold chest.
"Baba find the keys and set me free."
He turns to look my and runs his hand past his sweaty forehead. "You're going?"-he asks me earning my
most dumbfounded look ever.
"Were you not present when your wife walked in on a half naked hoe cuffed to the bed? Please baba
let's not fight. I'm not even in the mood anymore."-I answer.
"Does it even matter if you're not in the mood? I'm the one paying for your services aren't I?"
Well...I sigh rolling my eyes and keeping in all the words I wanted to say to this man in front of me.
Rule number 1: The customer is always right.
"But you know what Baba will set you free..."
---
I step out of this huge house covered by the coat I came here wearing. Baba'Zwane was standing at the
door just watching me leave and get into the SUV that brought me here. He promised to pay me my
money cause at the end of the day he's the one who messed up. I just told him the next time he actually
wants my services it better be at a hotel and no handcuffs!
The keys. They were in his pocket the whole time. It was just a matter of searching properly.
"Please switch on the radio."-I ask my driver. He does and I don't really care about which station we're
on as long as this ride isn't quiet.
My phone pings in my handbag. A message from the bank.
R20 000.
Hawu Baba!
I'm grinning ear to ear as I read the notification once more.
Okay my eyes are definitely not deceiving me.
---
"Hau Azi you're back?"-Zama asks me jumping over the couch as catwalking towards me. She actually
walks like that.
"Yep and by some miracle in one piece."-I say making my way to the kitchen to get myself a bottle of
water.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I was nearly murdered by a red kitten heel."-I take a sip of water before hearing Zama burst out in
laughter.
"Now I really want to hear everything spill. "
I swallow to avoid chocking.
"It's not funny wena."-I utter and walk past her heading upstairs. "I honestly saw my life flashing past
me. Imagine reading your own headlines as a ghost on Daily Sun newspaper: Prostitute cuffed and
murdered with Agnes' red kitten heel. I don't think I'd rest in peace."-I tell as we climb up the stairs
passing Nomvelo. Zama is at it again laughing her loud laugh.
"Friend he cuffed you?"

"I repeat it's not funny."-I turn to look at her. She was holding a hand in front of her mouth and another
on her stomach.
"Mara mfazi just admit ke that it is kind of funny."
I chuckle unlocking my bedroom door "okay maybe a little bit."
She settles in on top of my bed while I remove my coat and hang it. "Aren't you supposed to be sending
Peter into heaven right now?"-I ask searching for my pajamas.
"He cancelled. Said something about a sudden family lunch."
I nod.
---
Zama left after we talked more silly stuff. We did however talk about going to the strip club tomorrow
night cause she felt like dancing while I just felt like making more money. It was slowly becoming my
not-so-secret habit and seeing my phone buzz with money notifications made my everything throb.
I looked at the painting in front of me. Its a beautiful looking garden that looks like paradise. It's not
complete but I love it so far. I put down my paintbrush as well as the red paint in my hold. I lift my
canvas and go put it in a corner near my closet where I knew it wouldn't be bothered and it would dry in
peace.
I try cleaning as far as I can but end up leaving it and retreat for a quick shower. "What a waste of a
clean pair of pajamas"-I mumbled to myself.
---------------------------
My eyes shoot open from the bad dream I had. It's a dream I've had plenty of times that I just wish I
could wipe completely from my memory.
Frustrated I rub the sleep out of my eyes and sit up straight reaching for my phone.
06h00.
Perfect time for a morning jog. I quickly get out of bed and change into something comfort for jogging. I
grab my phone and earphones unlock and lock my bedroom door and dash on downstairs while
untangling the earphones.
No one is awake yet and I understood. Okay only the guards were wide awake standing outside. I don't
greet simply because I knew they would ignore me. I put each earphone in my ear and jog to the gate
listening to Eye of the Tiger on repeat.
I make my way out of the gate and start jogging on the familiar road.
"Risin' up back on the street Did my time took my chances Went the distance now I'm back on my feet.
Just a man and his will to survive. So many times now I'm back on my feet. Just a man and his will to
survive. So many times it happens too fast. You trade your passion for glory. Don't lose your grip on the
dreams of the past..."-I sing the lyrics ignoring the fact that I probably sounded like trash.
Something touches my shoulder causing me pull one of the earphones out and turn to look back. Who's
this? I think I panic a little thinking the worst.
"Woah I'm sorry to startle you it's just that I was calling and calling and not getting a response."-He tries
to explain himself.
I step back a little since the space between us wasn't to my liking. "I'm not a kidnapper or anything like
that."-he says putting his hands in the air trying to prove that he was probably unarmed.
"And you expect me to believe you?"-I question feeling my body reverse again. He on the other hand
comes closer not too much though.
"I do actually don't you think I would've done something by now if I was indeed a kidnapper? "-Him.
I should be jogging. "Look uhmm..."
"Xavier the name is Xavier."-He says reaching his hand out for me to shake.
I'm not shaking his hands shem.
"Okay...Xavier if you don't mind I have to be jogging."-I remarked already turning around.
"Please. I'm new here and I just wanted to jog with someone who actually knows this place better than I
do."
Sigh.
Eye of the Tiger continues to play in my one ear.
"Fine let's go Xander."
"It's Xavier."-He corrects me earning a chuckle from me.
"Whatever let's go."
About 30 minutes later we stop in front of my gate. I'm sweaty and out of breath only because I haven't
been doing this for a while now.
"You live here?"
I nod putting my hands on my waist. "Alone?"
Uhmm... "No of course not."
Okay this is starting to become a little awkward. I don't know this guy at all...or maybe he's trying to get
some.
"I...I have to go."-I utter and dash past the opening gate. I can feel his eyes on me...
After taking a shower and changing into thick leggings and a jersey head downstairs. It's chaotic. 2 girls
are preparing some breakfast while the others were just watching TV. Zinhle is sitting in a far corner on
the long brown couch busy with her phone. Next to her is Celia Trish Amanda Naomi Hanna Lahifa -the
only muslim girl here- and Nonthando.
Some were focused on the TV screen in front of them while others concentrated on their phone. Today
was just a day we got to be ourselves unless you got an order from yours truly Tebogo. He's usually all in
your face by this time of the day.
"Come sit with me mfazi."-Zama signals to me.
"Where's Nomvelo?"-I ask and she shrugs.
"She's probably with Tiger dearest."-She responds causing me to roll my eyes. That sounds about right.
"The audacity of that man! How many more days before our monthly meetings I think I'm ready to spill."
Zama playfully slaps my shoulder before yielding my malicious plan. "You shouldn't that's mean."
"Mean? Doesn't Rule 10: Thy shall not sleepeth with thy staffeth...ring a bell?"
"Okay Shakespeare."
Ah they both walk in. Nomvelo and Tebogo. He has his hand around her neck holding her close. He's at it
again with the gum chewing and cheap fake chaines. "Ladies mantombazane."-Him.
"Tiger."-Some of the girls greet back.
"Go sit baby."-He says to Nomvelo kissing her on the lips.
She walks to the empty space on one of the couches and sits.
Sheesh.
"Azi."
"İt's Azania to you boy."
He chuckle putting his hands in his pockets.
"Azania."-he mocks me with some attitude. "I hear you want to go with Zama to the club."
I don't answer only because this guy really gets on my nerves.

"Azania I'm talking to you."
"You heard right Tebogo."-Me.
"Ke Tiger wena sfebe (it's tiger you bitch)"
Sheesh did I hit a nerve.
"Entlek come to my office now."-him.
"I'm not going anywhere with you."-I say folding my arms in front of my chest.
"You like testing my patience nhe? I said go to my office now Azania."
"Haibo she said she's not going anywhere with you get that through your thick skull hau."-Zama says
next to me. My eyes scan the room. Everyone's attention is on me and that idiot by the door.
"Zama you're forgetting I'm technically your boss right? So shut that mouth of yours."-He says and takes
out a gun.
What the heck?
"Azania to my office now."
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Chapter 3
Chapter 3
♡
This idiot keeps the gun pointed my direction and a piece of me did feel a bit nervous. But wet doggy
over here wouldn't shoot me. I doubt he would.
Which brings me to my next statement.
"You are so funny you know that? I suggest you should go and audition for being a comedian."-I say
looking around the room once again and everyone just looks terrified. I roll my eyes and turn to look at
Tiger again.
"Why am I still alive?"-I ask him and I think I hear Zama chuckling silently next to me.
"Azania."-he tries to warn me.
Fine.
If following him will make him feel more like a 'man' than I'll pity him and do that.
I walk past him and head for the back door I can hear him behind me. He says something I can't make
out.
He closes the main houses' door behind him. "Wait wena."-He says forcefully grabbing my arm and pulls
me back causing me to collide with his chest.
He's surprisingly stronger than I thought he would be. "Entlek tsamaya wena sfebe. (Actually walk you
hoe.)"-Tebogo pushes me forward and I near trip and fall.
Sheesh.
"Don't push me."
"Ai tsek. (Piss off.)"-again he pushes me forcefully until we reach his outdoor office. He open the door
and once again I'm pushed in. The door is shut and locked. Oh this is honestly too much for me and I
want out.
I feel suffocated and the sinister look he has on his face isn't making things easier.
"So you're saying I should be a comedian? I have a joke for you here aneh? You'll tell me if it's good or
not."-Again the gun is out to play. I watch him attentively from the corner I hogged in here as he opens a
shelf and takes out a bullet. Loading it in the gun.
"You ready for the joke?"-He clears his throat the space between us long gone. "So there was once a girl
named Azania she was disrespectful. She had a stinking attitude up until one day when Tiger wadira the
unbelievable."
He laughs.
If he thinks that this joke of his is supposed to be funny than he should get a reality check.
He corked the gun and pressed the cold steel front on my forehead. Maybe just maybe did I shiver out
of fear.
"Look at Azania being a wet pussy right now...makes me wonder if your actual pussy is wet. Let Tiger
feel. "-His breath smells like mint. "Why is it dry?"-He asks me his hand invading my womanhood. I bite
on my tongue until it hurts. "Is Tiger not making you horny?"
"Fuck you."
"Ha Lord knows I'd love that very very much...but sadly I like my women with class not cheap."-He says
removing the gun from my forehead and takes his hand out.
I'm cheap?
"Get out."-He orders me moving away. I swallow hard and gather my confused self and walk out of
there.
Outside I take a quick breather. Regretting my little decision. I open my eyes and the sun is sharp. I suck
it up. Besides he's not the first man to harass me like this.
Walking back into the house feels like a task. Not only are all eyes fixed on me but It feels like they're all
asking questions. "Is there some breakfast left?"-I ask looking at Rendani who nods.
I make my way to the and get myself some food. "You okay?"-Zama comes to stand next to me.
"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"-I feed myself some of the cold bacon.
"Azi..."
"Mhnn?"
"Talk to me. What happened in there?"
"Nothing...nothing happened."
---
The red and blue lights illuminate the club as the clock hit 20h00. I breathe in one more time taking in
the sharp smell of cigars alcohol and ass. A smell I had gotten used to. I quickly go through my
unplanned dance routine once again in my head.
Okay I got it.
And I hope Dj Spook gets my song right this time around cause I want this to go very smoothly.
A cold hand lands on my shoulder grabbing my attention. I turn to face him wondering what he'll say
this time.
"You look gorgeous."-he manages to whisper loud enough in my ear. I frown thinking of the skimpy
clothing...no scratch that...skimpy fine fabric garments that im wearing where you could actually see
literally everything.
" I'm about to go on stage."-I warn watching him as he takes out a cigar from the inside of his leather
jacket.
He always kept one there along with his tailor made 'TG' lighter.
I watch him as he sets it alight in front of me the end burning off slowly. He puffs it out directly on my
face.
"I know."- he says putting the cigar back into his mouth and repeating the whole process of blowing it
out on my face. He wants my reaction and I won't give him that.
"I just came here to tell you that you have a client directly after your little show here."
I can't keep in the sigh that I release at that moment in.
I'm emotionally tired.

But I have to prepare my heart and soul for whoever I'm going to be with later tonight.
"Don't sigh like that we'll be making a whole R5 000 from just this one session. Don't fuck this up."-he
says and turns to walk away leaving me shocked.
R5 000!
Sheesh.
Some people are ridiculous.
"Ladies and Gentlemen put your sexy hands together for your next wallet-and-purse-emptier Aziii!!"-Dj
Spook brings me out of my night dreaming yelling into the microphone.
Right.
I steady myself on these pitch black 6 inch red bottoms high heels as I walk onto the huge half circle
stage. A stripping pole at the edge of the stage waited for me glistering brightly just as the lights went
completely red. The Dream's song starts ahead. The lyrics telling me to completely lose myself from
under the spotlight.
" yeah baby!"-a woman yells out throwing a R100 onto the stage.
Yes. She actually came to bad habits underground strip club.
"Shake that ass."-a male.
" Ysehranmagzine.comssss!!!"- a group of males yell out probably halfway drunk.
I grab the pole sliding down while paying attention to the lyrics of this song.
"Shawty get it (get it)
Do it big Do it good
Work it like a girl should
Work it good (work it good)

Bring it back (bring it back)
Tell the DJ bring it back
Let me touch it fuck it baby
Tell your man he ain’t getting it back
Shawty is so ratchet baby I’m so ratchet
You so bomb with that I got to have it
I got to have it like a 9 I got to blast it
So fine I got to grab it she on mine"- I hear The Dream sing his lyrics out.
Some good looking guy is seated at the far end of the stage sipping on his whiskey. Maybe he might give
me a couple of notes.
I on all fours strutting like a cat towards him.
His focus is on me. I reach for his tie and gently pull him closer with it. Smelling his expensive Cologne...
He brings himself even closer than when I pulled him and whispers in my ear. "You are pretty I can't wait
for later."
I nearly widen my eyes out of shock but try and keep my cool. He pins some money on my thong.
I get up feet steady as Big Sean sings further. "Azi!"-Some guy call out to me waving a few hundreds
The rest of my dance routine goes down smoother than I thought it would. The stage floor is covered in
hundreds and fifties.
A beautiful sight!
I walk off the stage knowing that Bobby - the one who usually collected my money from the stage after
my performance- will clean up behind me. I have noticed him a couple of times when he'd sneak in an
extra tip into his pants and act as if nothing happened.
"Monté give me something strong please."-I request sitting down on the bar chairs.
It's cold om my bare behind.

" you looked great up there."-he says before turning to get a clean glass and puts it in front of me.
"You were watching?"-I question watching him fill my glass 1/4 way full with whiskey.
"How could I not?"
"Thanks."-I utter downing the whiskey down in one go.
"You could've just asked me for a shot Missy."-he says with a friendly smile on his face. His brown eyes
attentively on me.
"Don't get smart with me Monté."-I say. His hands go up as a sign of defeat. "Refill me please."
"Don't look now but Tiger is coming this way."-Monté says and I roll my eyes before feeling his cold
hand on my bare shoulder once again.
" Why are you keeping my client waiting?"-he blurts out the smell of tobacco and weed still evident in
his breath.
"I'm just having a quick drink Tiger nothing major."
"Nothing major? Azania don't piss me off. Go."-he says and I raise an eyebrow to him.
He can't be serious!
He suddenly grabs me by my upper arm getting me off the high bar stool and I nearly fall since I'm
wasn't well balanced on these high heels.
" I thought after today you would know that I won't take any bullshit from you especially when it comes
to my money."-he says pulling me towards the passage area of this strip club handing me keys with the
number 6 on it.
His money?
Besides the loud music playing you can hear the loud moaning of girls that are pretty much getting what
they're being paid for.
But before we even reach the room he was taking me to he grabs me again and slams me across the wall
and comes closer to me. "You mess this one up-..."
"Argh leave me alone marn! Yeses."-I push him away and find the room myself. He's acting as if I've
never had a client before as if I've actually pleased and satisfied their asses.
A door opens and wasted looking girls come out laughing and mentioning things I have no care about.
I struggle unlocking the door and mumble a curse word while at it. I never struggle with doors well at
least I don't recall struggling with one.
"Let me help you."-a voice startles me and I turn my head to see who it was.
It's Mr 'I'll-see-you-later' carrying a bottle of Hennessey two glasses and a paper bag. "Mind holding
these?"
Eventually the door gets unlocked and it's too stuffy in here. I hear the door shut while I attended to the
aircon for some ventilation here.
"Azania sit."-he pats the empty space next to him.
I obey. Trying to get comfortable.

"You're prettier than what Tiger described. "-he comments and I don't know what to say. Instead I look
down at my hands than at his.
A rings glistened on his left hand and I can't stop myself from asking. " you're married?"
"Argh forgot to remove this. I apologise."-he says removing the expensive looking ring from his finger
and stuffs it into the inside pocket of his suit.
Men!
"A drink?"
I nod and he stands walking off to the mini table in the far end of this room. "You know I'd appreciate
you loosening up I don't bite."-him.
I hold in my chuckle thinking of how many people said that but when they got between my legs did
something completely different.
"Here drink."-he hands my glass.
I down it.
I need all the courage I can get.

"So uhmm...I'd like you to try something on for me."-him.
He's quite a talker.
"Sure."-I encourage.
He reaches for the paper bag next to his feet and gives it to me. "I hope it fits."
"Thanks... Let me get to it then."-I say and stand up heading to the changing room in here. This place
needs a clean.
A nurse outfit. Gosh.
And after trying it on and seeing half my butt on the mirror I walk out.
Sexy! I hear a voice yell within.
Sigh.
My mind just won't focus at all right now but I tell myself this will pass.
"You like?"-I ask leaning on the door in one of my playboy poses.
I see him lick his lips and loosen his tie.
"Come let me have a closer look."-he puts down his glass.
I walk slowly to him a hand on my waist while the other rested on my exposed hip.
He stands up and looks at me eyes filled with pure lust as he licks his lips again leaving them moist. " I
love it. "-his voice deep.
I smirk and get ahold of his tie. Pulling him closer to my face.
"Now..."- shit I don't know his name! "...what do you want to do with this slutty nurse?"
"I want to take her from behind."-he says.

"Condoms?"-I ask and wave of disappointment washes over him.
"Uhmm..."
"No glove no love mister."-I state and his eyes beg me.
Im not risking my life like that. Not again.
"Fuck! I'll be back."-He says and I let go of his tie while he dashes off out of here.
Sigh.
I quickly rush over -minding my step- to the mini table and pour myself half a glass of the Hennessey.
Two downs later the drink is gone and I contemplate on pouring a third.
But I fear that if I do these shoes will become my worst enemy.
The door shoots open once again scarying me. "Got 'em"-he says.
A whole packet in his hold.
This is going to be a long ass night.
---
Besides the fact that I smell like that man now or anything ranging from my whole body being covered in
sweat I'm happy with the money I made today.
I have enough money for a new tattoo and another piercing. I also did my hair and nails today which
should've been a confidence booster.
"A Rand for your thoughts?"-Zama startles me.
"Ha I'm just thinking about...politics."
She frowns.
"Liar. Anyway I thought you left already."
"Why would I leave you behind?"-I lie thinking of the past 3 hours I spent in that room faking orgasms.
"I would say that's so sweet if it was true but hey you clearly don't want to talk about it. "-she utters and
I nod putting the nurse outfit into my backpack. "Anyway I made a killing today."
"You did?"-me.
" R4 050. I knew that sensual shit would make me tons."
"I don't even know what I'm going to do next..."
"Zama Azania."-TG calls us ending our conversation. Once again he takes out a something to smoke on
from the inside of his pocket and sets it alight.
May the gods of hoeville give him lung cancer.
"Tiger."-Zama replies and I eye her.
Sheesh.
"Excellent work today ladies especially you Azania. That man ended up adding another 4k to the
money."
"What man?"-Zama asks.
" A cl-..."-Tiger starts off but I cut him short by saying "...I'll tell you on the way to the palace."
Mhnnn...
I've always preferred telling her myself of all my doings if she questioned. And right now I hated this fool
in front of me with passion.
Having him tell my story was going to anger me even more.
"Okay then I guess we can go."-She takes both our backpacks and hands me mine. Bobby makes his way
to me and gives me my stage money.
"Thanks Bobz."-I roll the whole thick stash and put it in between my boobs.
Again I seem to forget it's winter and winter means that it's cold outside and that you should bring
yourself something warm to wear. "Borrow me a coat."
"I only have an extra jersey...will it do?"-she digs it out of her bag before I even nod.
See my friend?
"You're the best."-I take it from her and put it on. The uber we requested is going to be here in 15
minutes acording to this UberApp.
"So...the guy you were with."-Zama.
I sigh.
"He was something else. He Wanted me to pretend like I was his niece some girl named Mmasechaba or
in his own preferred nickname Shabba. He even made me wear a nurse outfit cause she's apparently
one. "
"Shuu mfazi so you saved her from being raped?"
"Basically. He kept on saying he's always wanted her chocolate skin blah blah blah. It's a sad reality but
what are you going to do?"-I shrug after saying that.
More cold wind blows causing my weave to blow into my face. I scoop the locks of hair and tame them
behind my ear.
"You guys waiting for an uber?"-Zinhle and Nomvelo appear from behind us. Nomvelo is busy on her
phone.
"Yeah."-Zama.
''Well we'll wait with you guys."-her.
Uhmm okay.
Our uber arrives and I couldn't be more thankful. Zama and I couldn't conversate because of these two.
We get in and they force themself in our uber claiming that waiting for another one would be a drag.
---
I make sure my door is locked before I begin with my painting. I've had an image in my head ever since I
was with Mr Thulo.
Her face structured to mere perfection.

Full lips and cheeks...bright eyes...smooth rich skin and a hint of pain. That's what I see when I stand
back and look at my nearly finished work.
At the bottom instead of writing my name...I write hers.
Mmasechaba.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
Chapter 4
Chapter 4
I wake up feeling heavy and tired. I slept late just trying to finish up that painting and now I was
regretting it dearly. I roll out of my single bed and stretch. My eyes quickly scan the room wondering
where I placed my running gear from yesterday.
Right. I make the bed quickly and change into my joggings running vest and takkies. My phone
disappoints me by being a very at low 10% meaning I won't be able to take it with me for my jog.
I heave out a frustrated sigh.
It's Friday today.

Again it's quiet when I reach the lounge area. I make my out of here and jog all the way to the gate
which these guards open.
That guy is here already waiting for me as if he knew I would be jogging.
Sheesh.
"Morning jogging partner."-He greets me a smile dancing on his pink lips.
I frown. He's so white it's weird actually.
"Morning Xander."
"Again it's Xavier...it's not that hard woman."
I roll my eyes thinking about it being past 6am and already I'm applying for a quarrel.
"Fine let's go Xavier."-I put emphasis on his name before he claps his hands in acknowledgement.
Wow.
We start with our jogging. Down the streets of Fourways Lonehill we jogged...in awkward silence.
Usually my music would make this journey a bit exciting but right now it wasn't. It's only today that I
actually pay attention to the houses around here. The closed gates. The people who were living their
lives to the fullest. Some of them were preparing for a full day at work and were currently starting their
cars.
"Uhmm...you sure you'll be able to make it all the way back to your place though?"-Xavier asks me as we
stood at our turning point.
See why you should never stop exercising once you start? Otherwise this happens. You run out of breath
from over pushing yourself and right now that's what was happening to me. I looked up at an amused
Xavier and he chuckles.
"You find this funny don't you?"-I breathe out wiping some of the sweat from my forehead.
"Well miss you're the one who left me behind for some weird reason. But on a serious note though will
you?"-He asks me. I shrug looking at the distance we had to tackle back to Palace. Curse trying to out jog
a man who clearly does this for a living.
I don't get how yesterday went so smooth and today...mxm.
"Of course I can make it back."-I challenge myself and I start ahead leaving him behind once again.
Adrenaline. My heart pumps faster as I force my feet to keep on going.
Sheesh.
No man! He's running right past me with ease and as if things couldn't get any worse they do.
Muscle cramp.
Right at my calf.
"Fuck!"-I curse coming right at a halt and reach for my aching calf.
"Woah Miss You okay?"-He's already rushing towards me. I let out a chuckle of pain. This can't be
happening. I try moving it but the muscles pulls once again.
"Awww!"-The yell escapes my mouth.
"Woah calm down and straighten your leg."-He says.
I force my leg straight and... behold! It does become better.
"Better?"
I nod feeling a smile creep up on my lips.
No Azania!
"Think you can walk?"-He asks and I attempt on walking and well the pain comes right back.
He chuckles. "Get on."
Get on?
"Get on my back woman."-He says already bending in front of me.
"I'm not getting on your back Xavier. "
"I don't remember asking you and the faster we get that cramp some ice the better."-He says still facing
forward.
I roll my eyes and start getting on putting my hands on his hard soulders. He reaches for my thighs and
holds them firmly by the sides of his waist. He stands upright and I instandly feel taller than before.
"You drop me-..."
"Why would I drop you?"-He asks tightening his grip around my thighs.
Okay maybe I won't fall after all.
He starts walking and I can't help but feel like the whole damn neighbourhood is staring at me.
Yes world Azania is on a white man's back!

And oddly enough she likes it.
"I get the feeling you're enjoying yourself back there."-Xavier says earning a chuckle from me.
"It's not everyday that you get a piggyback ride."-I confess and from a distance I see the palace.
We continue to walk and he makes an unsuspected turn. He opens the gate and instantly I frown
scanning the yard. Beautiful garden but the grass was dying.
"Uhmm...what are we doing here?"-I ask as we reach the veranda.
"We're here for ice."-he says putting me down gently. Is it weird that I completely forgot about the
cramp until he put me down?
"I'll wait here."
When he returns with a whole ice pack I've scanned this whole place throughly. There's a doghouse here
and no dog in sight.
"Can you try sitting?"-He asks.

I succeed.
He sits aswell and reaches for my leg. "So you have a dog?"-My leg is on his lap with the freezing ice
pack underneath my calf.
"Yep but the one here belongs to my mother."
"Your mother? You keep your mother's dog with you?"-I ask.
"No woman...This is my mother's house."-He says chuckling and readjusting the ice pack. "Relax she's
still resting."
"Oh."-I utter indeed calming down to those words as he continued to nurse my aching calf.
"You know miss I never got your name. "-He says looking up at me blue eyes piercing intensely.
"Uhmm me? I'm Spencer."-I joke.
The look he gives me after those words leave my mouth is priceless. Absolutely priceless and forever
embroidered in my long term memory.
I'm even laughing my lungs out to the point where I feel my muscle cramp pull a little diluting my
laughter a bit. "Ouch...I'm kidding Xavier. My name is Azania."
He sighs chuckling slightly. "You scared me to death Spencer."
I snort.
---
I get back to the palace and almost everyone is awake. Zama Naomi Hanna Lahifa Celia are busy doing
squats in front of the TV to some exercise DVD that Rendani bought years ago.
"Oh hey Azi!"-Zama greets me.
"One...Two...Three..."-The TV.
"Hey."-I greet walking to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water.
I head on back to the lounge and sit down on the couch watching the ladies squat.
"Join us."-Celia says.

"I'll pa-..."
"Yeah Azania join them."-I hear Tiger's voice say from behind the couch I'm seated on.
I keep quiet in my mind I feel like stabbing him out of existence. God! His perfume invades my nostrils.
He evidently chuckles before I feel his presence moving away from me.
"Okay switch off that crap and sit the fuck down."-he quacks and gains their attention.
Hanna quickly reaches for the TV remote and switches the TV off. Everyone takes a seat.
"Ya hoes ke Vrydag'a vandag (it's Friday today) which means I want to hear moans all the way to
Pretoria tonight. "-He says after clearing his throat and unwrapping a piece of gum. He shoves it into his
mouth and starts chewing away.
"Tonight I want each of you to take two customers in."
"Ah no Tiger."
"Haibo!"
"Two?"
"Yey tsek. You should all learn to shut up like Azania over here. We lost a lot of money yesterday
because you hoes are lazy. Now this is the only way we can make up the money we lost yesterday."-
Nqoba's lapdog says and I feel like rolling my eyes and walking out of here.
"So any complaints? "-He asks. The whole room is quiet. "Thought as much. Now the first half of your
clients will be here at around 20h00. The second round will be here at 23h00. "
Gosh.
"That will be all."-He states and winks at me before leaving the room.
"I'm guessing he'll tell the others separately then. Mfazi we have some shopping to do."-Zama.
"Yeah probably. Let's go shower and get out of here tuu."-I agree and she nods.
After showering I pick out a pair of jeans black kneehigh boots and a fur coat. I quickly straight one of my
weaves and put it on then focus on putting on some makeup.
I'm done after almost an hour of trying to better myself. I grab my phone and handbag then head out of
my untidy room making sure that I lock my door behind me.
"You done?"-I ask as I enter Zama's room. It smells like weed in here.
"Almost. Sit."-I make my way to her couch and sit.
Sheesh. You can't even see my own couch because of everything on it.
"Don't worry I'm almost done."-She reassures me again and I nod.
"I'll wait."
"Mfazi you never did tell what happened yesterday with you and Tebogo."-She says.
"Please don't spoil my mood...I beg you."-I taste the bitterness in my mouth.
"Forgive my curious mind anyway I'm done. Lets go."-She says standing up and zipping her makeup bag.
We leave heading to one of the SUV's here. The driver rushes to open the door for us and we step in. He
also gets into his space and starts the engine followed by the radio.
"We're going to Fourways mall."-Zama.
---
19h00. I take my second shower for that evening. All the cleaning of the Boom-boom rooms was done
immediately after we returned here. Everything was basically ready for tonight including my lingerie. At
19h34 I make my way downstairs to get myself something to drink.
I find Nomvelo busy opening a bottle of champagne. I grab a glass from the table and wait for her to
hand me the bottle.
Zinhle walks in.
"Hoe of the month how are you?"
Did she just ask me how I was?

The heck.
I choke on my spit unable to reply immediately to her sudden gesture.
"You ready for tonight?"-her voice too peachy.
"Why are you asking me questions that don't concern you?"
"So a girl can't conversate with another girl just to be friendly?"-Zinhle asks me with a raised eyebrow.
"We're not friends Zinhle. Which means I don't want to conversate with you under any circumstance."-I
point out and take the bottle from Nomvelo who just seemed to take forever with the pouring of
champagne.
I left those two downstairs to continue their simple talks and headed upstairs to my own Boom-boom
room.
Room 3.
I sat on the bed texting Zama who was also in her BBR. She was telling me how nervous she was about
getting her client and the feeling was quite mutual. I didn't know what type of freak would be walking in
next through that wooden door right ahead of me. I sip some more of this champagne in attempt of
suppressing my fears. You can honestly never prepare yourself for the people you meet.
A knock startles me and I immediately stand up putting my phone in my cabinet next to 'everything' you
could possibly need during a session.
Another knock.
"I'm coming."-I utter as I fix myself and hold the doorknob. I open the door to be met by a fresh face.
"Hi. This is room 3 right?"-he asks his voice not as deep as I would've expected.
I nod and make way for him to enter. He's jittery.
"Drink?"-I ask. He turns to look at me and I swallow. That's a lot of dreadlocks for one man honestly. I
feel like I'm in a hair competition with him.
"Yes."-I get him a drink.
Whiskey with some ice.
"Uhmm so how exactly does this whole thing work?"-Mo'guy asks after sipping his whiskey awkwardly.
I giggle softly motioning for him to sit on the bed.
"Well firstly my name is Azania."
"I'm Thabo."
"And to answer your question...well here you get live out any fantasy you'd like to. You ask me what you
want me to do and I'll do it if it's humanly possible. And no kissing on the mouth. "-my voice sounds too
seductive already. I watch him bite on his bottom lip and nods before finishing his drink.
"One more thing you only hit it with condoms here and there'll be no buts please."
Okay I think that's all I needed to say right now.

I take his empty glass putting it on the mini table next to the whiskey bottle. "Now Thabo what would
you like Azania to do for you?"-I catwalk slowly to the cabinet and take out the open condom packet and
some lube incase I don't seem to get it on.
"Come here."-he says.
I stand between his legs and look down at him. His cold hands cup my butt as he rubs on the cheeks
until they feel warmer. I play with his dreadlocks individually waiting for whatever order he'll give me
next.
"Can you show me what you're made of? I actually like a woman who takes charge."-he expressed.
"Oh? Is that so?"
"Mhmmm..."-His hands travel up my bare back until they reach the thin fabric of my lace bra. I feel him
unhook it and slip it off allowing my breasts to breathe. I feel how my nipple harden under his watchful
gaze.
"These are pretty...I love the piercings..."
"Suck them."-I order and instantly my one nipple dissappears into his warm mouth. I hiss as his tongue
circles my rock hard nipple.
He must've definitely done this before somewhere because I feel myself enjoying this. He relocates to
the other one and does exactly the same yet it feels so different.
I reach for his hand and bring it up to my mouth licking the fingers and leaving them moist. With one
hand I shift my thong to the side and guide his fingers to my clit. He instinctively starts circling them
there...
"Okay okay woah."-I mumble pushing his head away gently and look at him in the eye.
The lust I see in them gives me pleasure. He's panting.
We're getting somewhere now.
I remove his hands from my pussy.
My hands slid down his face to his shoulders and I push him back. He lays still.
I run my hands on his hardening dick. The chinos he wore highlighted it perfectly. I undo his belt and
unbutton the button of his pants. I pull them down along with his boxers with his assistance of course.
Sheesh.
His hard dick stood at attention and the precum oozed gracefully at the tip. I hold him in my hand and
bring my lips forth. Licking the glistening precum in one go. Then I welcome him in my warm wet mouth
and he instantly groans my eyes bore into his. I push him to back of my throat and watch as his eyes roll
to the back of his skull. "Yes..."-He breathed out as I continued to pleasure his hard manhood. My
fingers played with his balls while I just continued to imagine his dick as an ice lolly. My tongue swirls at
the head once more before putting him back into my mouth. He flexes his hips up attempting to push
himself deeper into my willing mouth.
Sucking...
Slurping...
Gagging...
All this continues until I feel like my jaw was giving up on me.
I reach for the packet of condoms and take one out. I open it with my teeth and throw the wrapper
aside then roll the condom onto his hard dick. I then add some lube to avoid dryness. He doesn't seem
to mind.
His eyes never left me even though mine left his a couple of times just to make sure I wasn't slacking.
I drop my lacy thong on the ground before getting on the bed and straddling him. I feel his dick poking
my butt as I lean forward and hover over him. He grabs my one boob and squeezes hard enough to earn
a moan from me.
Whether I wanted to or not I took his cock into my pussy and he pushed it in shocking me.
"Fuck me Azania!"-he demands.
Sheesh!
I start bounching on his dick the bed doing the same too. The feeling of fullness is unbelievable right
now and somehow I find myself enjoying his dick.
"Ah!"-I moan sitting upright one hand on his stomach for balance. I pick up my pace.
Thabo squeezed both my boobs before I felt a spank on my ass. Making my eyes open wide to find him
staring again.
"Say my name."-He hissed through gritted teeth.
"Thabo."
"I can't hear you..."
"Ohhh! Thabooooo!"-I repeated as I felt myself approaching orgasm. Something I haven't felt in ages.
I thrust my cunt towards the hard dick he was giving me my fingers rubbing furiously at my tender clit.
"Cum with me Azania!"-He commanded replacing my hand with his.
"Ahh!"-I ground my pelvis against his hand still plunging the dick deep inside of me. I felt the walls of my
pussy contract tightly as I started to cum. I released the hot fluid of my pussy all over as I shruddered
with waves of pleasure my orgasm cresting. I moaned deeply as he slowed down his hand movement.
Spent I climb off him and try keeping myself steady to avoid falling by holding onto the bed. My knees
still felt wobbly.
"Wow...definitely worth every Randela. "-He breathed out a hand placed on top of his chest.
"I'm glad."-I say and start removing the full used condom off his now limp dick.
"I'll definitely be back."-He says buckling his pants again.
"You're always welcome here Thabo wena just make an appointment. "-I invite. His face seems to beam
up after I mention that.
"I will. Bye."-I walked him out.
Well that went smoother than I expected it to be honest and the guy was better than I expected. After
freshening up again I change into my second lingerie piece for the evening. I hate how the sleep just
wants to take me right now and then. Maybe a glass of whiskey will help.
Second knock of the night.
I heave out a sigh and leave my whiskey drink on the table. I open the door and nearly widen my eyes
out of shock. He's sweaty and his eyes are darker than the last time I saw him.
"Ah Azania help me."-He rushed stepping in and kicking the door closed behind him. It locks
automatically.
I swallow his hands pushing me roughly onto the bed. Haibo wait! My panties get ripped and he quickly
takes his top off.
"Mr Thulo wait..."
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
Chapter 5
Chapter 5
"Wait!"-I yell and he stops looking at me his eyes bloodshot red. The only thing audible for a few
seconds of silence is both our heavy breathing. "Mr Thulo what the heck?"-I push him off me and sit up.
"Uhmm I...I..."
"You do not get to do that Mr Thulo what the heck."-I utter staring at him. He runs a hand past his face.
"I...I'm sorry Azania"-He says. "It's just that I called Shabba earlier today before I came here and...and..."
Oh I see.
"And what did I say?"-I question him still recovering from his aggression.
"You...you said you'll come to visit me when you're off."
Sheesh no Shabba.
"I said that?"
"Yes and the sound of your voice just gave me the hardest boner of my life. I...I had to come here. "-he
says and I swallow his words. This man really has it bad for his niece and if only a slap could end that
then I would've used it to bring him back to reality already.
"Why did you come here?"
"To see you Shabba to bury myself deep in your pussy and to fuck you senseless...God!"-He yells the last
word and I see how his fists harden.
"You want to fuck me? Hard until I become senseless?"
He nods and grabs ahold of my thigh. "You want to fuck your niece until she cums?"
"Yes."
"You want to give her chocolaty skin some goosebumps?"
"God yes!"-He breathes out already bringing his hand closer to my cunt. My heart is still beating fast.
"Then do it."-I give him permission and watch how the words turn him into another person once more.
You'd swear this man is bewitched or something.
He grabs both of my thighs and bends down getting closer to my cunt. His hot air as he breathes out hits
me down there before he starts attacking my poor pussy. His tongue invading my clit and swimming
through my folds... leaving them moist. "You like eating out your niece like that?"-My voice sounds
cracky.
"Mhnn...Yes."-He humms.
So this is what the man really desires? To 'make love' to his relative. My mind is still trying to process all
of this because this guy was absolutely not like this yesterday.
"You taste so good Shabba."

"Mhmmm..."-I force out a moan. I'm trying to keep up here but my body just won't allow me to feel
pleasure from this.
My destiny...
He kisses up moving to my belly button and the way to my breasts.
"Uncle Thulo don't forget the condom."-I utter and he nods kissing my boobs.
After he feels satisfied with himself he gets off me and goes to the bedside table to take a condom out.
He quickly pushes off his pants and he slides it on and looks at me. I wonder what the heck he's thinking
right now.
He licks two of his fingers and rubs them on my clit then on my entrance. I see him positioning himself
on my entrance and he mercilessly plunges in without any halting he roughly does as he pleased.
Thrusting in and out of me cursing and sweating. "Ahhh Shabba you feel so damn good."-He hisses and
out of cooperation I let out a moan.
"You like that?"-he asks spreading my thighs even wider and I feel my cramp creeping in.
Straighten your leg...
"Shabba I asked you a question!"-Him.
Why the fuck is he yelling?
"Yes."-I lie.
He gives it to me harder and harder until it starts to burn. "Argggg...yes. I'm gonna cum in my Shabba..."-
He says and I watch as he has these spasms his orgasm clearly taking control of his entire body.
Then he collapses on top of me. His heavy body nearly crushing me to death but I let him be. He's still in
me. Gods of hoeville why would you send me a pervert like this one though?
I can't.
He rolls off me. My pussy is pulsing and aching.

"Turn around."-He says rising and reaches for another condom. I heave out a tired sigh and do as he says
making sure I keep a watchful eye on him for the condom situation. "Ah Shabba baby I'm sure you think
I'm a freak right now."-He says spreading my pussy lips with his fingers.
I roll my eyes steadying myself with my hands. "No uncle...I don't."
Oh Yes He Is!
"You don't know how happy that makes me Shabba..."-He enters me slowly this time around and I hiss
out of pain lowering my upper half.
He starts thrusting in me slowly. He keeps me in place by holding my waist.
"Arhhhhhhh!"-I yell as he picks up his pace.
"Yes moan for your uncle."
Shuu.
Mr Thulo spanks me hard. Twice. I shudder.
"I'm cumming again!"-he groans and halts completely. Shortly after I feel him pull out and he falls onto
the bed.
"Thank...you"
-Mr Thulo
---
Mr Thulo left a few minutes ago and I've just been cleaning up in this room before I leave and take a
proper last shower before I sleep. All the used condoms go into some toilet paper then into a plastic
bag. I'll take this with me to throw away.
I take my phone and walk out of here trying my best to bear the pain I was feeling right now. Opening
the door I freeze.
Can this day just end already!

I try to walk past him but he stops me placing his hand under my chin and licks his lips. I smack his hands
off me and try walking past him but he stops me once again.
"Tebo...I mean Tiger suka marn (get away)"
"I don't want to."-He says.
I nod. "Tiger I'm tired and I feel sticky. I'm not in the mood for this."-I state and attempt on moving past
him thankfully he allows me to pass. I feel like he's staring at me or my butt or both...
In the shower I allow the water to wash over my body. It's a pity it can't wash all of my sins away cause
I'm pretty sure my grandmother is turning in her grave right now. She was a great woman of prayer and
just saw light in everyone...including me.
I step out of the shower and dry my body staring at my reflection on the bathroom mirror. I loved
everything about my body but what I did with it...I chuckle putting on my pajamas and head straight to
bed.
23h45.
I'm still staring at the ceiling unable to sleep. I manage to hear someone walk by my room before it
becomes a little quiet again.
'Ha Lord knows I'd love that very very much...but sadly I like my women with class not cheap.'-Tiger's
words replay in my head and I just close my eyes but instead I see the face of a person who in my mind
broke me...
Argh.
I reach my hand underneath my bed and search for pills I haven't used in months. I feel the container
and pull it out. I open it and take two out and quickly leap to the bathroom to drink these pills...
-----------------------------------------
"Azania!"-a voice calls me out knocking on my door. "Azania!!"
Its Zama. I yawn sitting up before I hear her knock and call out again.
"Ngiyeza hau! (I'm coming)"-She stops her knocking. I step out of bed slipping my slippers on and make
my way to the door to attend my friend. The moment I unlock and open the door she throws herself at
me.
I frown.
"And then?"
"You made me panic I've been knocking phela."-Zama says and closes the door behind her. I sit back on
the bed and she sits next to me.
"Deep sleep."-I mumble yawning.
"You're not jogging today?"
I eye Zama. "Doesn't look like it."
She nods. "I saved you some breakfast."
"Haibo kanti what time is it?"
"10h00 I think."
Well I'm sorry Xavier.
I lay back. I can't seem to think straight. "You okay?"
I let out a deep chuckle. "You ever wonder where you'd be if you weren't here?"-I ask feeling a lump
form in my throat.
I haven't cried for years and I'm not about to do that now.
"If I wasn't here at the palace?"
"Yeah."-I reply my voice too low.
"Well my mother always said I had the walk of a model...so maybe something in that direction. Orrrrr
maybe a lawyer."
I snort. "A lawyer mfazi?"
"Ya hau what's wrong with that? I have good lying skills moes."
"You do know it takes more than that to be a lawyer right?"-I ask her.
"Kill joy alert a girl can dream mos."-She says laughing while I shake my head.
"Wena Do you ever wonder where you'd be if you weren't here?"-Zama asks. In the past 6 years of
knowing this lady next to me this honestly feels like the first time we talk like this. It feels deep.
"Me? I'd be a painter I guess."
"Makes sense."-Zama. "Think you can paint me when you have time?"
"Like a portrait of you?"
"Duh! All this..."-She shows off her body "... has to be painted somewhere on your board thingies. "
"Board thingies she says...I'll paint you only if you buy the paint."-I say.
"Mfazi you can afford it nje moes. "
"I can also afford leaving this place...yet here we are."-I answer.
---
I sat on the couch watching TV. A show about some king who forced a girl into marriage. I'm surprised
these hoes are watching with me without complaining. I noticed Hanna has these marks around her
wrists like they were binded by something like a rope. Her pale white skin makes it very obvious.
My phone vibrates from the insides of my pockets and I quickly take it out.
An unsaved number.
I contemplate on whether I should answer or just let it ring and if it's serious they'll try again.
"Yello?"-Curse my curiosity.
"Azania."-The voice on the other end replies.
Eh.
"Uhmm...who's this?"-I ask looking at the numbers to see if they rung a bell.
"Don't tell me you forgot my voice too."-the male voice says with a chuckle.
"Xavier?"-that name catches the attention of Zama instantly.
"In the flesh."
I giggle trying to avoid my friend's questioning eyes.
"You sound so different on the phone."-me.
"Ha I do?"
"Yes you do..."-me.
"Aye why didn't you jog today?"-He asks.
"Uhmm I wasn't feeling well."
"The cramp came back?"
"Yeah."-I lie.
"Want to go grab some lunch? Uhmm I mean that's if you're hungry."

Tiger appears with Nomvelo in front of him as 'always'. She looks at me. Dressed in a red velvet jumpsuit
and black fluffy boots. Braids tied in a bun.
"Ladies mantombazane."-he says watching Nomvelo make his way to the couch.
They greet back...
"Azania you still there?"-Xavier asks me reminding me of the phone on my ear.
"Uhuh..."-I might as well take his offer before this pig starts acting up again. "...You know what I am
hungry."
"I'll be there in 5."-He says and I hang up.
Who switched off the TV?
"Nice of you to finally join us once again Azania."
"Halala."-me.
"Halala? I'm here to address yesterday. Good. I'm impressed. But that doesn't mean there'll be slacking
of any sort as you know. If you weren't at the strip club Thursday then make sure you go there today. No
excuses. Other than that you'll be updated if there are clients who want to see you."-He says and no one
responds. He's been working here for almost a year.
The sound of a hooter catches my attention and I stand.
"And where do you think you're going?"-Tiger.
"Huh?"-me.
"Kere uya waar? (Where are you going?)"-he repeats.
"I'm going out."-I respond and make my way out ignoring Tebogo flatly.
Woah a Mercedes?
He's leaning on the car dressed in a pair of jeans and a grey poloneck. Uhmm...sheesh.
I keep on glancing back even though no one is following me.

"Hey Spencer."
"Xander?"-I hit back and he laughs raising an eyebrow.
"Get in Spencer."-He says holding the door open for me.
So the whole world really think I can't open my own car doors?
He closed the door after I got in and I watched him walk around the car to his side. It smells like him in
here. A scent thats foreign to my nostrils. He gets in as well and starts the engine.
"So where are we going?"-I ask sitting back.
"I have no idea."
"Are you kidnapping me?"-I joke.
"Do I look like a kidnapper?"-He asks.
"I don't know you tell me."
"I googled a place. Toulas Family Restaurant and that's where I'll be taking you to."
I've seen that place a couple of times but never bothered to actually enter and have a meal there so this
should be an experience.
We talked and I texted Zama telling her where I was headed to before we found a suitable parking
space.
We walk. I'm window shopping while he...wait what is he doing. When I turn to look at him he looks the
other way. "You were staring."
"Was I?"-him. I chuckle shaking my head.
After settling in on a table for two and having him order some greek special lunch I try thinking of ways
to make this a bit more comfortable.
"So mind telling me more about yourself ?"
"Gentlemen first."-he leans back on his chair folding his arms in front of his chest.
"Okay then. I'm Xavier King. A 28 year old software developer born in Cape Town but raised in Durban.
Uhmm my parents are separated and I'm the second born out of three kids. I'm also the only boy given
to my mother."-He says.
Our food arrives and he starts digging in. "Your turn."
"Well I'm Azania Mnguni. Can you say that?"
"Say what? Your surname?"
"Yes."
"Munguni?"
That's it. I laugh right there and then.
"Whaattt? I tried didn't I?"-him.
"Okay I'm sorry for laughing at you...anyway I'm 24 years old and I'm a-"
I pause rethinking my statement and he looks at me taking a bite out of his greek burger.
"...I'm a dancer."
Don't look at me like that...I dont think saying 'Hey I'm Azania and I'm a whore' would be ideal here.
Besides what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
"Yeah that's about it."-I utter and bite my burger.
"That's it?"
"Pretty much."-I swallow.
"You seem like a closed book Azania I wonder why. Heck it took me a day to get your name."
I put down the burger and wipe my hands with the provided serviette.
"Maybe...maybe it's because I don't like the chapters in it."-I say trying to avoid his blue eyes. I truthfully
didn't come here to lay all my cards on the table I came here to avoid Tiger?
My phone's screen lights up and it starts vibrating on the table. His name flashing on the screen
immediately put me off.
"You can answer it."-Xavier.

"Ufunani? (What do you want?)"-I say casually.
"Hau? Is that how you talk to your boss now?"
"Tiger I'm bu-..."
"Nywe nywe nyee stop blabbing sfebe (Hoe). The SUV is already there to pick you up."
"For what?"-Me.
"You have a client. Nxa."
The line goes dead immediately after his last statement and I sigh heavily before standing up.
"Woah what's wrong?"-Xavier.
"I have to go."
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
6
Chapter 6
I felt like an ass leaving Xavier alone at the restaurant. I'm basically rushing out of here just to get away
from this place. I didn't want to explain myself to Xavier and the way I left surely left a lot of red flags
back there.
I spot one of the drivers that stood next to the black SUV that was clearly here to fetch me. To say I was
ecstatic would have been a plain lie right now.
He opens the door when he spots me and I get in. He shuts the door and goes to his seat. He switches
on the engine and reverses out of here. I think I'm sulking at the back seat.
I spot him walking out on the exit and he looks around for something. I feel like he's searching for me...
When we get to the palace I get out without even allowing this guy to open the door for me.
I opened the front door and on the freaken couch was Nomvelo and Tiger.
And by the look of things they were shagging and I clearly disturbed their session.
"Sies marn."-I say and that's when they clearly notice my presence. I shut the door. Nomvelo jumps off
Tiger and covers her naked body.
What the heck were they thinking fucking in public and why do it on the couches we basically chill on?
"You came faster than I thought you would Nomz go change I'll take you to the club okay."-Tiger says
getting up from the couch himself.
"Okay baby T."-Nomvelo says.
"Good girl."-Tiger.
Oh gosh he's just as naked as she was and he comes walking towards me. Ewwww.
I move away.
"Who's this client that is so urgent that it couldn't wait until I got back here?"-I ask already calculating
the distance to the stairs from here.
"Me Azania...see I'm even ready for you."-He says licking his lips and points to his obvious boner.
"You called me here for your needs? Kanti what was Nomvelo doing here not so long ago?"
"She was just istarter you're the main and the dessert."-He says now too close to me that I smell his
cologne and a bit of Nomvelo's.
He better be joking.
He runs his finger along my jawline making me shiver. What the heck is this supposed to be exactly? I
look him dead in the eye feeling some type of way. Tebogo isn't that bad on the eye but this isn't what I
need in my life right now. I already hate him dearly for what he did to me and now he wants to take
things further?
"Uhmm..."-I clear my throat before saying more. "...where is everyone else?"
"Sent them away."
"Shopping?"-Me.
''Yes Azania. Just wanted me and you to have some time alone."-He says his voice low and husky.
This guy clearly doesn't know Azania. He doesn't know how great I am at pretending.
"Sooo..."-I grab his hard dick in my hand and he releases a sharp breath of air. "What do you want
Azania to do?"-I whisper after bringing my lips close to his ear.
He groans when I start moving my hand up and down his reasonable size. I feel the veins and the
smoothness of his dick.
"I...I..."-He mumbles and I squeeze hard on the member in my hand. "Udirang?(what are you doing?)"
"Are you sure you want to be my client? "-I ask and he hisses when I roughly pull on his dick.
"Azania woah! Ah!"-Tiger.
I feel like laughing right now but I contain myself and keep a straight face. "What's wrong Tiger? Don't
you like it like Azania likes it?"-I joke.
"I was kidding Azania. Ahhh you're hurting meeee!"-I stop twisting his dick and look at him dead in the
eye as he tried regaining his dignity...or in this case his dick-nity.
"You were saying?"
"I was kidding jeez girl. Your client isn't me."
I let him go and he seemingly relaxes. "Baba Zwane will be here to fetch you."-He breathes out and I nod
bringing my lips closer to his cheek and peck it.
I get to my room and immediately lock the door then throw myself on the bed.
I heave out a sigh.
What just happened downstairs?
I dig my phone out of the pocket of my jeans and turn it on. I should probably apologise to Xavier for just
abandoning him the way I did. I don't even know why the heck it feels like I should apologise since we're
just jogging partners and nothing more.
Yes just friends.
I go to my call logs and quickly go to his numbers and save them. After about 10 minutes of
contemplating whether I should dial his number I find the phone next to my ear. It rings and the
moment I think of hanging up he answers.
Crap.
"Spencer."-He answers clearly not as angry as I expected.
"Hey Xander"-Me. I heave out a sigh and sit up. "Look I'm sorry about earlier I didn't mean to abandon
you the-..."
"Spencer it's okay. You don't have to explain yourself to me."
Oh.
"I..."-I halt realising that I don't really know what to say next. This call is basically over.
"So...what are you doing?"-He asks me.
Okay I guess it's not over.
"Me? I'm just laying on my bed you?"
"I'm busy feeding Phantom."

"Phantom?"
"My mother's cat."-He replies after chuckling.
"So your mother has a cat and a dog?"
"Yep"-He says so simply. "They get along quite well trust me."
"I'll take your word for it."-I say and there's silence.
I start imagining both the cat and the dog on the same couch. What an awkward thought.
"You liking the weather?"-he asks.
"We're seriously going to talk about the weather now?"
"Yes Spencer why not?"
"Well then I guess I do. It's nice and cool."
"You like winter?"-He asks causing me to roll my eyes with a stupid grin on my face.
"I actually prefer spring."

"Oh?"
"Yes...there's nothing as beautiful as seeing the fresh new flowers bloom and blossom under the not too
hot sun. The green leaves and the full succulent grass...wait am I answering your question?"-I ask feeling
like I completely off ramped that question.
Wait was there even a question that was asked or was I just blabbing for no reason?
He laughs gently before speaking. "You shouldn't have stopped I enjoy listening to you speak."
Now that's a first.
"You do?"
"Yes."
Silence.
I clear my throat.
"I'll see you tomorrow."-I utter and wait for his response.
"Great laters Azania."
"Bye Xavier."-I say and hang up.
What the fuck Azania!
I quickly go and rinse my hands and face before drying with a towel. I remove the jeans and jacket I was
wearing then head to my lingerie drawer. A black number I haven't worn for some time now catches my
attention. I take it and throw it on the bed then start applying some makeup on my face.
After about 30 minutes I finally feel satisfied and pick out my blonde bob wig with black roots.
I finish off my look with black red bottoms. I take my handbag and phone and walk on out of here.
Locking my room.
It takes me a few seconds to get back to the lounge and find Nomvelo lazing on the couch they were
using as a bed minutes ago. I guess she's waiting for Tiger.
She looks at me and then back to the phone in her hand. I go get myself a bottle of water and go sit in
the lounge.
"You okay?"-My mouth blurts out.
"Me?"
"No the person next to you. Of course I'm talking to you."-I say and she frowns.
"Why do you care?"
"I actually don't but seeing as to the fact that we all live here I felt like asking."
"Oh. I'm okay."-She responds and goes back to paying attention to her phone.
I nod and get up heading out. The SUV is already ready and waiting with a driver holding my door open. I
roll my eyes and get in.
The drive to wherever we're headed to is occupied with the sound of the radio. Metro FM to be specific.
"He must be ecstatic I mean I would be."-Mo speaks away.
"Who wouldn't He didn't even walk out with one trophy but two."-Ray says and I nod.
Some people are lucky out here.
"And did you see the wife? What's her name again?"-Mo.
"Uhmm...Khanyisile Mazibuko."-Ray.
"She looked stunning in her custom made dress hey."-Mo says.
"I agree...a pregnant goddess."-Ray.
"Anyway congratulations to the Mazibuko's and many other entrepreneurs who made a change in
the...."
---
Almost an hour later we park in front of a fancy looking hotel.

Halala Baba!
The driver gets out and my door is opened once again. I'm helped out gracefully. He hands me a piece of
paper and when I unfold it I'm met with the number '51' and the words 'you'll find me there.'
I nod and fold the paper once again store it into my coat's pocket and start making my way to the
entrance. I walk further in taking in the fine furniture of this reception hall. Fancy people everywhere.
Gold and red coloured couches white floors chandeliers and exotic indoor plants filled this elegant
looking place. I make my way to the receptionists I see in front of me. A slim lady looks up and smiles.
"Uhmm Hi."
"Good day mam how may I help you today?"-She asks me. Her smile is creepy but nothing I can't handle.
"I'm here to see someone how may I help you today?"-She asks me. Her smile is creepy but nothing I
can't handle.
"I'm here to see someone in room..."-I quickly take out the paper again making sure of my facts.
"...room 51 Mr Zwane. "
She types something on her computer and then looks back up at me. "Ah yes. Your Ms Mnguni
correct?"-She asks.
I nod.
"Alright I'd like you to sign here."-She puts a piece of paper in front of me.
What's this?
"It's for security measures mam."-She answers my unasked question.
Okay.
After scanning the piece of paper I sign on the dotted line and she signals for someone to come to her.
"Eddy please accompany Ms Mnguni to room 51."-She says to the young gentleman who stood next to
me dressed in a black suit with neat hair.
"Of course please follow me."
We make our way to an elevator and he presses a botton before it closes.

The elevator music plays away. I look at myself on the mirror to see if I looked acceptable before the
elevator pinged and the doors opened.
He walks out first and again I follow behind him. The sound of my heels too loud for my liking.
"We're here."-He says and bows. Uhmm I should probably tip him. I give him a R100 note and he thanks
me before leaving.
Right.
I knock.
Twice.
Then I hear a "Give me a sec!"

Seconds later the door opens to a Baba Zwane looking casual today. Bright yellow golf tshirt with a
faded pair of jeans. His head freshly shaved.
Again halala Baba!
"Please come in."-He says and makes way for me.
I'm in.
This place looks bigger than what I expected it to be. "Uhmm...please sit."-He's nervous.
I sit.
"Drink?"
I nod.
He hands me a glass and starts pouring me some bubbly. "Thank you."
He sits next to me.

"About last time I didn't mean to embarrass you like that."
"It's in the past. As long as this hotel is Agnes free then I'm okay honestly. "-I can't believe I still
remember her name.
He laughs lowly his belly moving along. "Trust me it's Agnes free."
I smile and take a sip of my bubbly.
"So does this mean I can cuff you ?"-I nearly choke because of the bubbly.
"Hell no."
Again he chuckles and gets up. "I'll be back."
I sit listening to the classical-bull that played. This guy must be loaded indeed. I wonder what Agnes is
thinking right now or what lie this man told in order to be here.
He comes back holding a tray of goodies. Mini quiches Ferrero Rocher's and fruit skewers. "Thought you
might be hungry."
Well old man you did interrupt my lunch.
He picks one quiche up and puts it centimetres away from my lips. "Open wide my diamond."
He feeds me two of them...
"Don't you think we should eat after the deed?"
"Good idea."-he puts the tray aside and helps me up.
We walk to a ridiculously huge bedroom. His hands firmly on the sides of my waist.
"You smell lovely."-He told me.
Why doesn't this man find pleasure in his wife though?

"I know."
"How do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"This...phela I keep coming back for more."-He concluded and I shrugged.
"Coat off please."-he addressed still behind me. My fingers start swimming through the huge buttons of
my coat bit by bit leaving me exposed.
"A little help."-I request unnecessarily.
"Of course. "-He pulls the coat of my shoulders and leaves me in the black number.
"Jesu."-he exclaimed causing me to chuckle deeply.
I turn around and find him biting on his upper lip. He occupies the space between us and pastes his
warm his hands on my butt. "I have condoms in my drawer. Ndi ready (I'm ready.)"
Sheesh. Baba.
He smacks my butt cheeks simultaneously earning a squeal from me. "I want you on the bed now my
diamond. "-Baba says.
I walk towards the bed agitated.
What does this man want kanti?
I climb on the bed on all fours. Keeping my heels on. Baba pulls a chair that was at a corner until it's
centered in front of the bed. He sits.
"Take off that bra."-He requests. I stay on my knees and reach behind my back unhooking it and free my
titties instantly.
He's drooling.
"Okay okay...now I want you to lie back."-Zwane.
I move back taking two pillows and stack them up. I lie on them.
"Argh get rid of those sexy undies."-Him.

I hook my fingers on the sides of the thong and lift my butt a little sliding them off...past my hips...my
thighs...my knees and officially off.
"Good now spread them legs for Baba."-he breathes out.
I sit up speading my legs for him my knees bent.
"Now I want to watch you pleasure yourself. Can you do that for Baba?"
I nod.
"Say it."
"Yes Baba I can."-I utter and allow my hands to start traveling on the insides of my thighs...all the way till
I reach the plump lips of my pussy.
I pull on both my nipples bringing them to attention. I wet both my index fingers with my saliva and
continue to play with my wanting ladies. I moaned softly at the pleasure I was giving myself.
"Play with it."

Two of my fingers start circling at my wet entrance spreading the wetness over my clit.
Oh yes.
I slip the two fingers in my wet cunt and allow myself to shiver under my own touch. My eyes shut as I
start moving my fingers in and out...
Blue eyes...
"Yess diamond..."-Baba Zwane hisses.
I forgot he was here for a minute.
I use my other hand to continue teasing on my clit. The pleasure continues to build up and my wetness
floods. "Ahhhh."-I yell as I feel this intense pleasure forcing itself through my whole body. My heart
beats at its own pace as well as my breathing.
I shut my legs and let go.

Shivering...
Savouring...
Blue eyes...
I lay still for a while trying to claim myself once again. There's pressure on the bed before I feel my legs
being spread again. When I open my eyes he's completely naked slipping on his condom and hovers over
me. He groans seconds later as if...oh wait I guess he is in. He lays on me lightly.
"Diamond you feel so good."
Okay he's in... and he's grinding up and down on me.
I'm not complaining though since the base of his mini self stimulated my clitoris willingly.
I let out a moan. Honestly he's not that bad.
"Im...I'm cumming."-He groans next to my ear minutes later and his words push me and urge my next
mini orgasm.
"Agggg..."-he groans louder and holds me closer to him.
He rolls off me and the bed.
I watch his naked self walk out of the room and heave out a sigh forcing myself up. My mind drifts off...
The opening of the door startles me.
"Sorry diamond. Went to fetch this."-He flashes a whole stack of money...
Sheesh.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
Chapter 7
"Iza la. (Come here.)"
I gladly went to him.

Innocently.
Oblivious of any evil or any hurt.
I trusted him dearly and wholeheartedly.
He lifted me up put me on his lap my feet now far from the ground. "Umuhle Azi wami. (You're beautiful
my Azi)"-He whispered into my ear and I didn't find it alarming one bit...
He kisses my chubby cheeks causing me to giggle.
She came into view looking utterly shocked.
"Wenzani Victor?! (what are you doing Victor?!)"-Her voice yelled out and he quickly removed his hand
from between my thighs and what She'd refer to as girly bits...
He put me down immediately...
He throws something at her and she looks down holding her head.
Blood.
"Phuma la Londiwe! (Get out of here Londiwe!)"-He roared angrily and she immediately left me with
him.
"Nxa! Amasimba (shit)''-He clicked his tongue and that's when I became scared...hoping he wasn't angry
at me cause when he was angry he'd hit me.
Innocent...
I opened my eyes and looked directly at the ceiling as I familiarised myself with my surroundings. I was
still in my room and my phone was ringing from underneath my pillow.
My alarm.
I search for the phone until I feel the hardness under my fingertips.
After switching it off I sit up yawn and stretch. It's funny how quick the days went by since I last saw
Baba Zwane at that expensive hotel.
A day after I heard that news report thingy about the Mazibuko's in the car Nqoba's wife -Gugu Z- came
here to inform us that his friend is going through some things.
Tragic things.
Believe me it was awkward listening to her since all these years Nqoba has Adressed us personally.
Anyway I get out of bed and change as fast as I could to my running gear. Minutes later I'm out of the
gates of this palace.
Why is he smiling and why the heck is it so contagious?

"Morning Azania."-He greets still beaming like nobody's business.
"I know you have perfect teeth Xavier but please..."
"You want me to frown when you clearly excite me?"-He says and I nearly look down.
Those words have meant something completely different in my whole 'career' and now finding someone
who used it differently was definitely an experience and refreshing.
Actually Xavier was refreshing.
"Lets start."-I order and we begin with a little bit of warm up exercises and stretching. I haven't gotten
another leg cramp since that faithful day. Xavier is the one who suggested we do all this stretching at
whatever. We jog ahead ignoring the cold wind that blew our way since we were bound to get warmer.
Nothing felt as good as this.
"Sooo... wanna join me for a bit of Playstation later today? "
"Playstation?"-I ask still keeping my breathing in place.
"Yeah I mean that's if you want to."-He says and halts.

We've been running for a while now.
"So you wouldn't hate me if I said no?"-I ask my hands firmly on my waist as I came to a halt as well.
"I would."-He says straight faced and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"Let's go back."-I say and don't even wait for him to respond. The journey back is filled with even more
thought. I hope he's not talking about FIFA cause one I don't like soccer and two I don't know how to
play it...not to say I knew how to play any of the other games but hey who needs to know that.
Surprisingly the journey back was shorter than when we were going forward. "You're getting pretty fast
young lady."-He says the moment we stopped in front of the gates of the palace.
"Well I have competition now which means I have to up my game."-I mumble and stretch.
"So my answer..."-He pushes causing me to roll my eyes and sigh.
"You're not going to give up are you?"-I question.
"And why would I? I'll see at 10h00 woman..."-He says and starts jogging away. "...and no excuses!"-He
adds on yelling.
Well that's just great.
I make my way inside and spot Zama by the door smirking.
"What's with you?"-I ask as soon as I get in front of her.
"Oh nothing... Who was that?"-She asks.
"Haibo."
"Spill missy."-Zama.
"It was just a guy."-I reply simply trying to get past her but she's standing firmly by the door frame.
"Move Mfazi."
"I'm not moving until you tell me who that was."-the grin on her face gets wider than before.
I heave out a tired sigh. I'm in need of a shower not an interrogation.

Her eyes widen and I know she's not about to move until I give her something tangible even though
there isn't.
"His name is Xavier now move."-Me.
"Xavier? Okay I haven't fucked him yet."
"Ewww you keep tabs?"
"Maybe...anyway what's his deal?"-She asks.
"Can we do this inside?"-Me.
She nods and moves aside allowing me in.
"Ngiphendule ke (Answer me then.)"-we walk up the stairs passing Zinhle and Celia.
"We just jog together that's it."-I answer dryly.
"Just jog? Like he hasn't asked for a blowjob or anything else that all these men usual want?"
"Nope."
A part of me feels like if he knew maybe thats where we would've headed to.
"How's that possible?"-She asks as I unlocked my bedroom door.
"I didn't tell him I was a hoe."
"Azania!"-she exclaims.
"Whhsehranmagzine.comttt?"
"Why not?!"-her eyes go wide.
I sit on the bed thinking of the best reason I could give this friend of mine.
"Because..."-I shrug.
I have nothing.
"Rule 5: any romantic relationships between Dimes and their client is prohibited at all times."-She states
and I chuckle.
"But he's not even close to being my client."

"Still..."
"He's not my client Zama. Like I said we just jog together."
"Mhnn."-She agrees still looking at me suspiciously with an eyebrow raised.
"Take your painting and leave I have to shower."-I tell her already getting up heading to the bathroom.
"Where is it?"-She asks.
"On the couch!"
"You're done! Ahhhh! I look so beautiful!"
"Get out of my room Zama!"-I yell turning the shower tap on.
"Argh byeee!"
After my shower I step out and dry my body standing in front of the mirror. It's time I change these
nipple rings and put on new ones. I put on a gstring after lotioning and step out of the bathroom still
struggling with removing the ball of the earing .
Argh.
"Mhnn I wouldn't mind helping you with those."-His voice startles me. He's seated gracefully on my bed.
I instantly remember the fact that I didn't lock which is probably why he's in here.
The nerve!
"Tiger phuma la (get out of here.)"-I say as calm as possible.
His eyes are on my body and I hate how he's looking at me. "Tiger!"
"Huh?"-he snaps out of whatever thought he was in.
"Phuma marn fok!"-I yell.

"Relax marn Azania..."-He says not even moving a muscle. He reaches for the inside of his leather jacket
and takes out a cigar and his TG lighter.
I sigh as I watch him burn the end of the cigar to life and instantly he inhales it in. Trust him to always
want to push my buttons when I don't need him to. He puffs out moments later fok!"-I yell.
"Relax marn Azania..."-He says not even moving a muscle. He reaches for the inside of his leather jacket
and takes out a cigar and his TG lighter.
I sigh as I watch him burn the end of the cigar to life and instantly he inhales it in. Trust him to always
want to push my buttons when I don't need him to. He puffs out moments later a whole cloud of smoke
dissolving in front of me. "...give a man a chance to speak since you made things clear last time by nearly
breaking my God given blessing of a dick."
I give him a bored look before heading to my drawer in search of a matching bra. I hear him hiss and
stops himself by putting the cigar in his mouth again.
"Say whatever you want to say and leave Tiger. "-I slip the bra on.
"I want you at the club tonight. No excuses."-He says and puffs.
"My phone works perfectly fine you know that right? A text would've worked wonders."-I tell him and
he smirks.
"So much better when I say it face to face Azi."
"It's Azania now fuck off. Out of my room!"
He chuckles and gets up. "You...you..."-He doesn't finish and walks out.
I lock the door right after he leaves how dare he come into my room like that nxa. I pick out something
decent after successfully changing the nipple earrings.
A pair of jeans and a baggy white tshirt. I match the tshirt with my white all star kicks. I comb my short
hair and put on my weave. I finish off my look with an olive bomber jacket.
I quickly try tidying up in my room while allowing some of that cold fresh air in. The cigar smell leaves
my room along with that pests' smell. I stack my now dry paintings with the other. I put all my paints
and brushes in a paper bag. My room looks better than it did before.
*Tell me you made something to eat.*-I text Xavier before making my way downstairs.
*I did.*-He texts back seconds later.
*Okay I'm on my way. Meet me?*-I text him.
"Well house I'm out."-I stated not spotting Zama in the lounge assuming she probably went to a client.
No one asks questions. Again I find myself walking towards the gate. My phone pings. Xavier.
*I'm already out.*
*Same.*-I replied. I spot him walking so swiftly down the road. The way his jeans fit him was
unbelievably...sexy.
"Azania!!"-He yelled out and I look behind me on purpose.
"I see you!"
"I can see you too!!"-I yell back.
"I know!"-He starts jogging to me.

Doesn't he get tired?
Sheesh.
"You look even more beautiful close by."-He says with his million dollar smile. I do?
"Come I don't you want you to catch a cold."-He says clasping his warm hand into mine and pulls me
with him.
Why in the name of everything that's holy am I blushing?
Many men have told me that I'm beautiful but this...sheesh.
"You first Spenc."-He says and holds the door open. I walk into the warm house. The beautiful woody
floor cream white couches and open living area was breathtaking. There was a fireplace in the far corner
which is where all this warmth came from.
"Is your mom around?"-I ask.

"Nope she went to see my older sis."
"Oh."
I see a cat lazing in front of the couch. "Uhmm..."
"That's Phantom."-He says bending down to pick the fluffy white cat up. "Wanna touch her?"
"Her? It's a girl?"-I ask my hand already petting the adorable cat. He nods. The softness of her fur is
unbelievable.
"Anyway before this cat steals my shine..."-he chuckles putting Phantom down and she walks off.
"...mind fething the food from the kitchen while I prepare things on this side."-Xavier says.
"The kitchen?"
"Search Azania."-He says pushing me gently.
'You want me to get lost in here?"-I ask my eyes searching this place. I see the dining area well equipped
with a huge dinner table and a breathtaking centrepiece. This woman must indeed have taste.
Even the small lights that were on gave this place the elegance it had...but this wasn't the kitchen.
Oh there it is and even it was just as beautiful.

Sheesh.
I take the platter of triangle thingies with cheese and mince. It smelt mouthwatering and I'm tempted to
steal some and just pop it into my mouth.
When I walk back to the lounge with the platter I find him done with connecting I assume. "What is
this?"-Me.
"What is what?"-He asks looking up at me then to what's in my hands. "Oh those woman are nachos."
I put it on the coffee table which he pulls closer to the two seater couch.
Minutes later I kinda have the game underway...or at least that's what I think.
I lose again.
"You suck at this no lie."-he says and I heave out a sigh reaching out for a nacho.
"That's because you are cheating."-I utter putting the whole thing in my mouth.
"I don't cheat."-he says.
I chuckle and swallow.
"Then we shall go again."
"I like your determination woman."-he says and also stuffs his face. "Let's do this."-him.
The Mortal Kombat game starts ahead and I pick my player.
And I'm on my feet the moment my player wins. "Aha! In your face! Who's the winner now? Meeee!"-I
gloat jumping all around the lounge.
"You got lucky."
"You think? Wanna go again?"-I ask making my way back to the couch.
"You are so competitive. Come."-he pats the space I vacated seconds ago.
I win 3 more times before I start gloating again. Why does winning feel so darn good. I put the controller
on the space I was on. "Well looks like I'm damn lucky today."
"Looks like it I guess I'll accept defeat."-He says also getting up putting his controller next to mine. He
sticks his hand out. I shake it probably longer than I should've.
He pulled me closer placing his fingers under my chin and made me look up at him. I swallow looking at
his blue eyes...
"Congratulations."-He whispers and his lips claim mine in what felt like a slow savouring kiss...
I'm kissing him back letting go of his hand and placing them around his neck pulling him even closer to
me. He picks me up and there's motion. He puts me on a hard surface and fiddles with the button of my
jeans. I lift myself up allowing him to pull them down...
I snap out of my wild imagination and break the kiss panting. I can't believe I just allowed this kiss to
happen. I can't believe I just imagined him lifting me up.
Sheesh No!
"I...I have to go."-I utter and make my way to the door and officially walk out.
Sheesh!
---
I make my way to a man who's been eyeing me since I started my dance routine to the very end. He's
biting on his bottom lip.
"Hello there..."-I greet sitting across him my hands on the cold table.
"Azania."-He says and takes a sip of his whiskey. "How much is a lap dance?"
"Depends."-I say reaching for his drink. I take it and sip. My throat burns.
"On what exactly?"-Him. He sits back. I get up and go around the mini table. "On what you want Azi to
do for you during this lap dance."-I whisper into his ear and strandle him on the couch. He lets out a
deep chuckle. "Does it mean you'll be removing this bra too for a couple of notes?"
"Why don't we find out?"-I suggest pushing him back down again. "Can't I have a kiss."
"No."-me.
He nods and reaches inside his jacket. He opens his wallet and takes out a R100 note. "Will this do?"
I give him a look. "Do you think I'm worth R100?"

"No..."-He takes out a whole R500 and I smirk.
"Now you're talking."-I take the notes and roll them up gently and hook them to my gstring. I reach for
the black bra straps and expose my tits.
He groans and touches them. I allow him. My eyes wonder past him and calm down immediately after
confirming that it wasn't who I thought it was. Xavier.
This random stranger slaps my butt cheeks to life. "That lap dance Azi..."-he requests.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
8
Chapter 8
İt's a Friday and I woke up feeling terrible. Both from the banging headache from this obvious hangover
and this approaching flu attack.
One of the clients I had yesterday had flu and now you've guessed it...
I know I've told myself before that I'll never get that drunk but yesterday I needed encouragement. I
remember making the same vow a few months ago but look at me now.
My loud phone rings from underneath my pillow and the loudness makes me want to throw it against
the wall breaking it into a thousand small pieces. I dig it out. It's not my alarm instead it's a call.
From him.
I heaved out a sigh before lowering the volume causing it to go to vibrating mode. I've been ignoring him
for a solid 2 weeks and a few days. I'm saving his ass from a liar and a hoe even though he doesn't seem
to get it.
It stops vibrating and again I sigh smelling my awful alcohol breath. Eww.
I also haven't been jogging for that long...
I shut my eyes thinking of today. I have a house call and it's some people I didn't know of. But I knew it
was a couple which means they'll be paying in double the money from the original fee.
The annoying vibrating sound comes again but it's shorter this time around. A message.
I roll off my bed and sit on the edge. My elbows on my thighs and my fingertips on the sides of my
forehead. I massaged slowly eager to aid this hangover. My eyes still shut. I remember instantly that the
monthly meeting is tomorrow and we'll probably be addressed by the wife again I don't know. But we'll
see.
I head to the bathroom and brushed my teeth looking at my reflection in front of the mirror. I looked
horrible. My eyes had bags and my face didn't look as vibrant as I would've wished.. but nothing a little
bit of makeup can't fix. I spit out the toothpaste before rinsing my mouth and heading towards the
shower. Patiently I waited until the water became hot before stepping in allowing the water to ease
down my skin.
I made a mental note to order two pairs of shoes from Yizhouli.
"You look terrible."-Zama said as I came into the kitchen where I found her preparing breakfast for the
whole house presumably.
"I feel terrible."-I said and searched in the medical aid cabinet for some painkillers. You'd swear I was
drinking alone judging by the way Zama acted but truth was we all got wasted. She just rarely got
hungover and I envied her for that.
"I could always whip up my miracle working hangover concoction."-Zama suggests a bright smile pasted
on her lips.
"No thank you Dr Xulu. Ngiright (I'm alright) with these painkillers."-I say and make my way to the tap
after getting a glass for the water.
Zama is giggling and it's so darn loud to be honest but I let her be cause if I said something it would also
be loud.
I down the two things I held hoping the pills would make this better. "I'll somaar make your eggs spicy."
I nod and sit on a high chair laying my head on the counter. "So why you not jogging anymore?"-Zama.
I shrug. "It wasn't my cup of tea."
"Hau? Jiki jiki (All of a sudden) it's not?"-Zama asks removing the sausages that were in the pan. "Azi
you've been jogging on and off for years and now it's suddenly not your cup of tea?"
"Ya hau. Why do I have t-..."
"Is it that guy?"-She interrupted me causing me to shut up.
"No."-I say dryly trying very hard not to sound interested in this topic even though deep down I wanted
to tell the world something about...I don't what exactly.
"Mhnnn...okay."-Zama.
I take my phone and go to my messages. Vodacom promotions. Sigh. I go to WhatsApp and his name
pops up at the very top with 2 unread messages.
Sheesh.
I press on it after a lot of contemplating. I'm blaming this on my headache.
*Hey can you please answer my calls. I'm sorry if I crossed the line Azania. Just talk to me.*-The first
message read.
"How spicy shou..."
Today's message: *I called you to tell you I'm le-...*
"Azania!"-Zama calls me making me flinch and grabbing my attention almost immediately. I lift my head
facing her.
"Ha.a (no) you're making noise."
"I've been calling you."-Zama.
"For ini?"
"Heban I want to know how spicy you want your eggs."
"Really now? Make them spicy enough to cure this hangover. "-I reply and get up once again to get
myself some more water.
"Morning guys."-Rendani greeted us as she walked into the kitchen dressed in a gown.
"Hi."-me.
"Sehranmagzine.com."-Zama.
Rendani giggles. "Don't start."
"Sorry girl I couldn't stop myself. You good?"-Zama.
"I'm alright. You?"-Rendani replies freely. She's so bubbly honestly.
"I'm good."-Zama.
"What about you Azania?"-She asks me as I gulped down the cool water in one go.
"Me? I have a headache so you can guess how I feel right now."-I say and put the glass in the sink.
"Shame girl. You'll get better."-Rendani.
I nod and lift the phone to my face to finish off reading that message.
*I called you to tell you I'm leaving. Again I'm sorry. This is me backing off. Hope you keep safe.*-I
finished reading the message and again I felt some type of way.
I exit WhatsApp and sighed heavily feeling like getting myself another glass of water but I didn't.
"Your food."-Zama says handing me my plate full of food. I take it thanking her. I shove the phone deep
into the back pocket of my sweatpants.
We make our way to the sitting room where all the girls sat lazily. I find a space next go Lahifa and sit.
"There's food in the kitchen."-Zama announced sitting down on the one sitter.
Some of them go.
Some of them stay.

I eat and clear my whole plate of goodness then go rinse it.
---
After refreshing and trying to look better for a little confidence I left the room dressed in a polloneck
jersey skinny jeans kneehigh heel boots. I find Tiger sitting on a couch busy with a laptop. Some of the
girls are already at their BBR and some like myself are on house call. He looks up and smirks closing his
laptop instantly.
"I'm ready to go."-I say making my way to the door. I don't need to talk to this guy not today.
"Woah ema pele (wait)"-He says grabbing my upper arm. I frown removing it forcefully.
"Don't touch me."
"I'm not fighting Azania."-He says putting his hands up in defeat heck he even backs up a little.
I raise an eyebrow.
"What do you want?"-I ask folding my hands in front of my chest.
"Eish sheba (look) I want you to join me for lunch if uba (become) free."
I snort not believe my ears.
Zimu.
What the heck?
"Ini? (What?)"
He keeps quiet rubbing his hands together. "You heard me."
"I did indeed."-I say chuckling and look him in the eye. "But unfortunately... just like you I don't do
cheap."-I say opening the door and attempt on leaving but I'm pulled back.
"Hey! Are you calling me cheap?"-He says angrily. Completely different from the man I saw minutes ago.
"Tsek Tiger! Let me go!"
He grips tighter only angering me even more.
The hand he's holding had my handbag and with the other I took out my Peper spray and spray toward
his face. He yells letting me go and I leave him there.
Nxa.
"Sfebe!"-He roared from inside.
"Argh whatever!"-I yelled back. I got to the SUV before the driver and got in. He came seconds later and
we drove out.
The location -the same one this driver had- led all the way to somewhere around Fourways. About 45
minutes away.
The car comes to a complete halt in front of a green painted gate. The house in front looked normal if I
could say so. A guy opened it and we drove on in parking in front of it. The driver comes to open the
door and I step out.
The guy who went to open the gate came to my side. He's cute.
"Azania right?"-he asks his voice not too deep.
I nod.
"Follow me."-him. I follow him as we walk to the entrance. He walked in first and I followed in closing
the door behind me.
"Babe! She here."-He called out and motioned for me to sit down and take in my environment. A warm
and reasonably furnished place. I sat on the couch brown leather couch and tried relaxing.
"Would you like anything to drink?"-He asks.
"Just some water is okay."
21h00.
I shove the whole Mr blue eyes file to the back of my mind.
He returns holding my water. "Thanks."-I say taking it from him. He goes to sit on the couch across me.
The sound of heels clicking alerts me of a presence approaching.
Her perfume vivid.
"Hello."-she greets looking young. She sits next to Dano.
"Hi."
"I'm Tamia and this is my girlfriend Dano."-She says.
Wait...what?
"Girlfriend?"-I ask my voice sounding too high for my liking.
He chuckles effortlessly before nodding. "I'm a butch baby girl."
"Oh you had me fooled honestly. "-I say feeling a bit shy now. Nonetheless I kept a poker face.
"Well uhmm...I guess I could inform you that we've always wanted a third. For experience of course."-
Tamia says and I nod.
"I'm guessing I'm the third."-I say and they laugh making me laugh as well.
"Yes yes. I just want to confirm with you that is this okay with you or...?"-Tamia.
"I'm fine trust me."-I say.
There was no turning back honestly.
Yes the NO factor could come out whenever it needed to but for now it would seem out of proportion.
"Great then I guess we can get right to it then."-Tamia said and stood up along with Dano. He...or she
took my hand and we made our way to their bedroom. The lights were dimmed inside. It smelt of
lavender and was perfectly warm. A comforting area.
"You can put your bag over there."-Tamia pointed to a couch in the far corner. When I turned back to
these two Tamia had already taken off the top she had been wearing exposing her perky tits.
Sheesh.
There was a totally different atmosphere here. Just us women.
Dano was nowhere to be seen until I spotted him by a closet. Tamia came to me and when she was close
enough held onto my waist lifting up my jersey exposing my flesh to her cold-ish hands. She giggled.
"You have such soft skin...may I see more of it?"-Her words pondered in the room and I could only reply
by nodding.
The jersey lifted and I helped her pull it off completely exposing my bra less breasts. "Dano they're
perfect. "-she announced cupping them into her hands. "May I?"-Tamia.
She likes exploring I see.
"Go ahead."-I blurted and soon enough I felt her tongue make contact with my bare nipple. Bringing it to
immediate attention. My head tilted back as I allowed myself some pleasure. This was making me hot
and the way her tongue manoeuvred on both my boobs made me feel like she definitely knew what she
was doing. I put a hand behind her head and pushed her closer to my ladies. She devoured even more
and my eyes shut as I felt her gently nibbling on my right nipple. I felt someone pulling on the button of
my jeans and when I opened my eyes they landed on a naked Dano. She had no boobs whatsoever but
she did have this cute smirk on her face.
"Dano baby wanna suck her titties too?"-Tamia asked taking a breather.
"Sure baby may I Azania baby?"-She asked me and I breathed out a yes. Tamia moved from where she
stood and Dano came into view. She cupped my boobs as well and gently blew some cool air on them
before fully sucking on them. I could feel Tamia pull down my jeans and the gstring I wore up until they
got to my knees. I felt her fingers trace on my pussy lips causing me to twitch a little and her to giggle.
Dano traced kisses all the way up to my neck. She left wet trails all over...
Tamia separated my pussy lips coming into direct contact with my clitoris. Her finger pressin on it made
me moan involuntarily.
Her fingers spread my wetness over my whole slit before I felt her penetrate me with one finger stroking
twice before inserting a second one. Her fingers exploring my honey pot to her will and to my liking. I bit
on my lower lip before closing my eyes again pleasure and arousal becoming evident in me. I felt two
more fingers on my moist clit massaging at a medium pace causing my breathing to hitch and pick up
pace.
"Mhmmm..."-I moaned my knees getting weaker.
"You wanna cum?"-Dano whispers into my ear and I nod continuously. "Then cum."
"Ahhh..."-I moaning letting go of the pressure that had built up in me. I held onto shoulders. The two
hands didn't stop until my orgasm came down.
"Our third liked it."-Tamia.
"Yeah?"-Dano.
"How about some more fun?"-Tamia suggested and helped me out of my boots and jeans.
We made our way to the bed. I'm told to sit.
Dano brings out a strap on Dildo and 5 condoms.
Sheesh.
I watch him put it on and just by how the thickness stared at me made me nervous. He hands me a
condom and holds out the dildo for me.
Oh...
I roll it on and smile at my great condom-putting-on skills
"Lie back."-He says and I do. He grabs my legs and spreads them wide. I feel him rub himself on my
entrance before attempting slowly. I flinch and Tamia brushed my forehead. "Relax."
Dano tried again and it still hurt but I sucked it up feeling the fullness and stretched feeling my pussy
was having. He began thrusting...at a pace I could adjust to. "Eat my girlfriend out Azania."-Dano. I
turned to look at her seeing her fiddle with her own slit.
Damn...
"Come here Tamia."-I utter and waited as she came and settled on my face. Darkness but I didn't worry
since I knew exactly where to start licking. Dano started pounding faster reminding me of his presence.
I licked on the soft folds of Tamia pussy. Tasting her juices. I firmed up my tongue and attempted to fuck
her hole with it. She moaned in such a sexy way that made me want to continue but again Dano made
his presence know. He pressed a thumb or finger on my clit and I moaned.
"Fuck!"-I cursed and bought Tamia to my face with her luscious thighs. She panted and grinded on my
face clearly getting some pleasure from that too.
I felt the powerful orgasm approaching and I wasn't ready till it hit me making my insides turn and sing
out. Nothing but bliss numbing me and the woman on my face. We came simultaneously. She quivered
yelling my name.
Dano pulled out...
---
I sigh. This has been the longest minute of my life honestly.
"Maybe there's a boyfriend in the picture..."-He says and I pull my blanket over my head.
"There is no boyfriend."-I say my voice low.
"Then what is it? Why have you been pushing me away?"
"Nothing it's just that I..."-Words fail me and yet again silence engulfs us.
"I like you Azania maybe you didn't notice that."-He says and I swallow the spit in my mouth.
"No...you can't..."-me.
"I can't like you? Why not? Is it the colour of my skin that prohibites me from liking you or something?"-
He asks and I take in a deep breath.
"I'm not what you want... Trust me."-I say biting hard on the insides of my cheeks.
"You are what I need Azania..."-His voice is soft and I shut my eyes shaking my head.
"No Xavier."-I warn feeling my heart tremble.
What the heck.

He sighs before I hear the words "Bye then Spencer."-From him and the line goes dead...
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
Chapter 9
♡
Falling asleep after that call was harder than I thought it would be. Every time I closed my eyes I'd see
his blue daring eyes or just hear his voice.
Argh!
I hated myself for doing this to both myself and him but honestly who would want someone who's
fucked more people that she can count? I don't think I would accept someone who opened their legs at
every human that threw money at them.
Zimu!
Is this what it feels like liking someone? It feels like I should pour out my whole heart to him but I can't.
I've never been this weak and my wall has never been broken down by a mere man. Frustrated I pull the
blankets off my body and reach for my gown. I put on my slippers and take my phone. I leave my room
locking it and make my way to Zama's room.
When I get there I knock lightly. Her lights were still on and some Erykah Badu song was playing. I
knocked again and that's when I heard her door unlocking and soon after it opened bringing a high
looking Zama into view.
She chuckles and immediately I smell the weed coming from inside her room.
"Come in mfazi."-She said making some space for me to enter. I made my way to her couch a whole
ashtray filled with weed laid on the armrest.
"Can I spend the night here?"-I asked watching her dance to the song that played away.
"Why? You have ghosts in your room?"-She asked giggling and reached for the blunt and lighter that
was on the table.
"No I just couldn't sleep."-she sets it alight and takes a pull before passing it on to me.
"Ohh...alright."-Zama says continuing with her dancing. We shared two more blunts before I started
feeling high.
"Mfazi I'm in love."-I blurt out chuckling with her.
"In love? Wena?"-She laughs taking the blunt from me. My eyes feel irritated and I knew for sure they
were red.
"Ya mfazi. I can't believe it."
"Mfazi my client today...shuuu I couldn't believe it."-Zama.
"What couldn't you believe?"
"He was soooooo hottttt I wanted him to stay. I think I was also in love with my client."-She says and we
laugh. This weed was surely messing with both our minds.
"Haibo."
"I swear my friend. Every single thing about him was on point. His face beard his butt and his dick."-She
blurted while I puffed out the smoke I had in my mouth.
"I don't want to hear about his dick please. "-I laugh.
"But frie-..."
"Ha.a (no) eww."-me.
"Mxm."
-----------------------------------------------
I flap my eyes when they're open a couple of times before they adjusted to the light from outside. Zama
is honestly the worst sleeper ever.
She literally crushed me into the corner her leg and hand on my body.
"Zama..."-she doesn't move. "Zama marn...vuka."

She actually inhales sharply and opens her eyes. "Yoh good morning to you too Ms Mnguni."
"Get off me we have a meeting to attend to."-I say.
Whuuu My breath!
"Is that really today?"
"Yep now move."-I say. She sighs frustrated and rolls off me and off the bed standing to stretch. I follow
soonafter.
We decide to take a shower together to save time. We lotion and I put my gown on before leaving her
room heading to my own. "Boss lady is already here. Hurry. "-Hanna warns me as she made her way
downstairs.
Errr...okay.
After making my bed and putting on something comfortable I leave heading downstairs where I find
almost everyone seated on the couches. It's just Zama Celia and the almighty Nomvelo that are shorting.
Nqoba's wife looked freaken gorgeous. For a thick madame she surely can dress no doubt about that.
She had on these skinny jeans pointy nosed stilettos and a striped jersey.
Her bright red lip colour made her look like she was glowing.
Rusev stood next to her and they were talking about something I didn't necessarily pay attention to.
Zama came in minutes later dressed in a dramatic coat and fluffy bright yellow boots. She smiled when
she spotted me.
"You look colorful."-I admit when she comes to stand in front of me.
"You like?"-She asks grabbing a cushion from the couch and throws it between my legs on the ground.
"Nope."-I say laughing and she rolls her eyes making her way down to sit on the cushion.
"You are just jealous."
"That's your opinion."-I say.
"Is eveyone here yet?"-Mrs Zwane asks. I look around.
"Only Nomvelo and Tiger are shorting."-Rendani says.
Mrs Z nods and turns to Rusev. "Can you please go fetch them? I have places to be and people to see."
Rusev nods and makes his way towards the back where Tiger's office was.
Minutes later they come walking in Rusev behind them. Nomvelo goes and sits next to Zinhle while Tiger
sits on the chair he occupies on these meetings. Mrs Z clears her throat facing us her fingers entwined in
front her chest. "Ladies and gentleman I greet you."
"Hey."-some of us say including myself.
"As you all can see Nqoba my husband couldn't make it here today because of important things that
needed to be handled."-She says and I nod paying attention to whatever she'll say next.
"Right...uhmm I don't actually know how these meetings work but you'll have to correct me where I'm
wro-..."-Tiger interrupts her.
"Ya ya let me help you daarso mevrou. (...there mrs.)"-he says taking the papers from Rusev.
He appears to read it before looking up at us. "Uhmm Zama ya blah blah Nomvelo well done...uhmm
Zinhle good for you mogirl and the-..."
"Sorry bhuti (brother) what do you think you're doing?"-Mrs Z asks her arms now folded in front of her
chest.
"I'm only helping Mrs-..."

"Tiger. Go sit down."
"But m-..."
"Go sit down Tiger."-She says taking the papers from him. I chuckle watching him rubbing his hands
together before turning to go and sit down on his chair.
"Now before I was rudely interrupted I was going to say that the numbers look good which means you
dimes have been doing an amazing job and for that I'd like to applaud you. My husband has organised a
day of pampering for you all that will take place tomorrow. "-Mrs Z stated and we cheered. A free day of
pampering? What more can a person ask for really...?
"Uhmm...Mrs Z?"-Tiger calls out standing up from his chair.
"What?"-Mrs Z.
"Uhmm I was thinking of something that I would've run through grootman today but seeing as that
you're here I might as well tell you instead."-He says. Zama looks up at me giving me the exact look of
confusion I had on my face.
What is this pig up to?
"Khuluma ke (talk then) I'm listening. "-Mrs Z.

Tiger clears his throat. "A vacation."
"A vacation?"-Mrs Z chuckles out. "I'm sorry what?"
"Luister (listen) Mrs Z. For years these girls have been literally working their asses off for the success of
this business. I've seen them working and even on their worst days they continue to deliver and make
this place what it is. Don't you think just like that day of pampering-what-what they would appreciate a
trip to Dubai or something?"-He says and I'm stunned. This has to be the first time I've ever heard this
guy have a piece of heart. It probably hurt saying those words I'm sure. Mrs Z nods as if really
considering this.
Yes I'd definitely love a vacation to somewhere like Dubai. To not be hoeing for a few well deserved day
offs.
"I agree mam."-Zinhle says. "I've been here long enough to confirm the fact that we haven't really had
something like that. I'm not saying other businesses do that but our jobs...are risky as fuck. I may get
infected as in yesterday. "
"Yeah this could be seen as a breather from all the clients and clubs and high heels and so forth."-Celia.
"Please Mrs Z."-Rendani.
"Oh pleasseeee..."-Naomi.
I'm not begging for shit.

"Okay okay I hear your point and it seems and sounds valid. I'll run the idea past my husband and inform
Tiger here."-She says smiling and once again the ladies chear. Well Dubai watch out the queen of
hoeville is coming there soon enough.
------------------------------------------------
I watched how Zama lifted herself with the pole spreading her masterpiece pair of legs before
rhythmically sliding down the pole and lands on her bare ass cheeks. The mini skirt she wore was doing
her justice since the stage was flooded with Mandelas. She lay flat as her song came to a finish and the
crowd went wild some still throwing money on the floor others clapped and looked thirsty. She stood up
gracefully wearing the new pair of heels we ordered on Yizhouli which came three days ago. It's been 2
weeks and 3 days since that meeting and the confirmation of a trip that was going to take place in about
two days time.
We were just collecting the last bits of cash so that we wouldn't be stranded the moment we land.
Zama made her way to me while Phila went to get her rands from stage. "I'm done your turn."-She says
a huge smile on her lips.
"You looked good but I'll look even better."-I yelled loud enough for her to hear me as a song started
playing.
"Why wasn't I told about this competition?"-Her.

I shrug. "Maybe because there isn't one I'm just trying to tell you I dance better."
"Well we'll see about that."
I hand her both my phone and hers before hearing Dj Spook utter the words that made me nervous.
Phila came with Zama's bucket handing it to her.
"Ladieeesssss and Gentlemeeennnn are you ready for Azaniiisehranmagzine.comaa?"-He spoke and the
crowd went wild.
"Well that was an obvious yes now show some love for Azaniiisehranmagzine.comaa!"
I made my way to stage as the lights went green. Bruno Mars' song starting to play on tbe speakers.
There's just something about Gorilla that makes you want to take it all off...but I'm gonna refrain from
that now. I grabbed the pole sinking to the floor and twerked. My eyes on the anticipating crowd. It
looked fuller today. Maybe because some people got paid and were already spending their money on
sin.
"...Banging on my chest BANG BANG! GORILLA...ohhhh oh oh..."-Bruno sang and I just moved my body
to the song. This woman smoking a cigar pinned some money on my thong. I kissed her cheek.
The song ends with me being tired but thankful for the colour on the stage. Phila walked past me going
to pick up my money. Zama stood there at the backstage.
"Okay maybe that was good."-She says and I can't help but roll my eyes. "Of course it was like duh."-I
joke and we go sit on a bench. Tiger walks out with some chick I didn't know.
Phila bought my money and we started counting. "R4510."-I said after all my counting.
"Ha! I made R 4900! Eat that."-She says.
"Mxm you got lucky."-I say trying hard not to feel like a loser.
"Ag mara you're so dramatic mfazi. Come lets go make some more Randela's. "-Zama suggested and I
agreed. We went to put away our phones in her locker along with the money we had with us.
"Would you ladies like a drink?"-this man asked us sipping on his glass of Hennessy. Zama and I looked
at each other before nodding. The other two men in this VIP section had a lady each on their laps. The
ladies clearly determined to suck every cent from these businessmen if given a chance.
He signaled for a waiter and drank again from his glass. "Now ladies tell me what you offer."
Well duh. We'll wash you're laundry.

"What do you mean?"-Zama asked.
"I meant can you two fuck?"-He says taking a sip once again before Zama got up from the comfortable
VIP seater.
"Of course we can fuck...ask my neighbour whose in a coma right now for what I did to him."-She lies
straddling the guy and fiddling with the top button of his Polo golf tshirt.
"Will she be joining you?"-He asks allowing Zama to sip his drink.
I nod getting up too. Zama moves straddling one leg while I straddle the other. "You want both of us?"
The waiter arrives.
"Sir."-İt's Monté who looks uncomfortable.
"Yes boy bring us your finest bottle of..."-The stranger whose lap we invaded said and halt for us to
finish off his sentence.
"Bubbly...finest bottle of bubbly."-Zama says not even looking at him.
"Yes I want both of you...how much?"-He says hand going onto my bare waist.
Zama giggles. Trust her for being this sexy for a good rand.
"20k."-She gambles and he nods.
"That's a price worth it."-He says and I swear I would've squealed if my eyes didn't raise and meet his...
Oh no.
The crowd of men he came in here with leave him behind while he remained completely frozen where
he stood. One of the men came back and I assumed asked him what's up and he only brushed him off
causing the man to walk away. The anger I see in him when he marches forward is one I've never seen
before.
I try getting off this guy's lap but he held me tighter preventing my freedom from taking place.
"Let me go."-I say and I feel Zama's eyes on me.
"Azi you okay?"-Zama asks and the moment she does he was standing on the side of the couch.
"Excuse me..."-He says.
"Xavier what are yo-..."

"What's going on here?!"-He asked and I swear it felt like he was shouting at me like a kid.
"Yey! Get you own girls!"-this pest I was sitting on interrupted.
He ignores him flatly. "Azania what the fuck is going on here?"- he asked again.
I'm quiet. This is not how I wanted him to find out especially not in this position.
Zimu!
He suddenly grabs my arm and pulls me away from this man. "Ouch! Xavier what the fuck! You're
hurting me..."-I whined as he continued to pull me towards the exit/entrance of this club. "Azania!"-
Zama yelled.
What's wrong with this guy. Instead of slowing down he picks me up throwing me over his shoulders like
a sack of potatoes.
"Yey! Wena mlungu ngibeke phantsi! (You white person put me down!)"-I commanded hitting his back
but nothing. The cold air hit my exposed body giving me goosebumps.
"I don't know what the fuck you just said but I-..."
"Xavier put me the hell down."-I demand and we come to a halt before he puts me down. I shiver and
put my hands on my upper arms crossed.
There's silence. Both of us just looking at each other. He was filled with anger while I was just
embarrassed. I've been caught in the act and I didn't know what to do now.
He takes off his jacket and puts it over my shoulders it was still warmed by his own heat...
"Get in the car."-He said unlocking and opening the door.
"What? I'm not getting into no dam-..."
"Get in the fucking car Azania."-He said firmly and only then did I get in sighing before he angrily shut
the door.
He switched on the engine and drove out of here. The silence in here is so thick I couldn't take it
anymore. I reached for the radio and attempted to switch it on but my hand was slapped away. "What
the fuck!"
"Don't 'what the fuck' me Azania don't!"-He says and as a car passed by giving light I got to see how he
tightened his grip on the steering wheel.
"What was the meaning of that anyway? You grinding on a man's lap?"
"Dont start Xavier."
"Dont start what Azania? What the utter fuck do you expect me to do the moment I see you in a fucking
strip club doing whatever you were doing?"
I expect you to stop whatever you were expecting and go to another strip club. In fact what was he
doing there? Satisfying a need?
"Don't yell at me Xavier. Don't."
"I..."-He pauses and sighs. "...I'm sorry but I'm just trying to make sense of what I saw. You're an exotic
dancer?"-He sounds calmer but still had this hint of anger in him.
"No..."-My voice is too low as I turn and look out the window "...I'm not an exotic dancer Xavier. I'm
much more than that."
"I'm not following Azania."-Xavier.
Why is this so hard? I sigh pulling the jacket closer to my body cause somehow even with all this heat in
here I still felt cold.
"I'll understand if you want nothing to do with me after this but just spare my soul and drop me off at
the palace."-I play with my fingers and look at him. "I...I'm...I'm a Whore a slut a prostitute. You name
it..."
Silence engulfs us just as I expected. Now I just waited for my bitchy self to be dumped off at the palace
no questions asked...
My eyes half open when I felt some coolness hit my body. I'm lifted out of the car and I closed my eyes
again as I felt motion. The cold stopped and I felt us being in a house. He climbed up some stairs still
holding me in place. A door is opened and I wonder immediately when he got my keys. My sleep
overpowered me again as I felt the soft comfortable bed underneath my back.
Oh...not my room.
And minutes later I'm warmer underneath the covers...
His covers...
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
10
Chapter 10
♡
♡
"Vula! (Open)"-He called me out on the other side of my bedroom door.
I wiped away my tears and got off my tiny bed making my way to the door before he angrily knocked
again. I nearly pee myself as I fiddled with the door handle and eventually open it. His drunk self stood
there and I knew if I fought him at this stage I'd get punished. Londiwe was probably beaten to a pulp
somewhere in this house even in her pregnant state. He picked me up and threw me on the bed and I
bounced a little.
"Umuhle njani. (You are so beautiful)"-He says already unbuckling his belt. I sniffed and he stopped
looking at me. Moustache well groomed above his top lip. His brown eyes widened before he uttered his
alcohol filled breath spreading the whole room.
"Are you crying Azania?!"-he asked taking off his belt and prepared it.
"Noo no I'm not crying."-I say shielding my face before he even began hitting me.
He lifted the hand that held the belt and hit me...
I opened my eyes and immediately sat up feeling my head pang for a second. I'm in a room I'm not
familiar with but the scent tells me whose room it is. I quickly got out of the warm bed and since the
light was still on I was able to navigate around this room to a door. I opened it and noticed it wasn't the
way out of here but instead it was a bathroom. A beautiful one too may I add well equipped with a
bathtub toilet shower and basin. The floor was crisp white while the walls were painted in a earthy grey
colour.
The shower door was see through glass which gave a beautiful view of the rock designed wall behind it.
There were shower heads on each angle and that made me want to step in it immediately and relax my
body.
Those dreams always drained me emotionally and sometimes physically. It would feel all too real all
over again at times. I locked the door before removing his jacket and wig and hang it on the rails where
about 3 towels hung. The lace bra and matching also go there. I opened the water and watched as it
sprayed from all angles. I stepped in the moment I started seeing some stream come out and took a
relaxing shower savouring the moment while it lasted.
After what felt like an hour in this power shower I get out and use one of the towels to dry my body. I
make my way to a cabinet that was on above the basin. It had a mirror front.
Inside I find razors shaving cream roll on lotion...for men... Shampoo more shampoo 2 closed
toothbrushes toothpaste -oh my gosh- more shampoo and something that looks like dental floss.
Sheesh.
I take the lotion and apply it on myself massaging until the white disappeared. When I was done I took
one of the unused toothbrushes opened it and used it. I don't even bother flossing since I don't even
floss when I'm on my own.
I take the things I came in here with and unlock the door. I check if the coast is clear before walking out
and finding clothes on the bed which were not there when I went to shower.
They don't fit perfectly but I didn't expect them to. I take my high heels and everything else and make
my way out of here. Again it's the wrong door since I walk directly into a walk in closet. I huff and make
my way to the last door here and luckily it leads out.
I walk quietly down the passage my eyes jumping from place to place as I inspect this house.
I reach some stairs.
I make my way down not spotting him anywhere. The lights here are off and there's only one place
that's giving some light.
By the fireplace.
And he's sitting near this fire legs crossed.
I heave out a sigh and make my way to him dropping the wig shoes and my gstring on the side before
sitting down next to him. Legs crossed.
When I steal a glance of him I see his hard focussed face.
Again I clear my throat.
"Please take me back to the palace. I'm not going to sit here and allow you to judge me. "-I say and
nibble on the insides of my cheeks.
"You know today was and still is my friend's bachelors party. I was going to drink myself senseless just to
try and forget you but the moment I entered what's the first thing I see? The same girl that has been
pushing me away on another man's lap."-He says his voice hoarse.
I look down at my knotted fingers feeling the same bit of embarrassment I felt back when he dragged
me out of that club.
"You know I've been sitting here for the past few hours thinking. Trying to solve this in my own head."
"Xavier..."-I say but he stops me by putting a hand up.
"I just want know one thing Azania why prostitution?"
I nearly sigh again as I think of a way out of here. I even think of throwing myself in the fire and burn
myself just to avoid this topic that kept on haunting me.
'Why prostitution...' his words ring again in my head and immediately I see my mother's beautiful face.
Her beautifully tired smile that often bought tears to my eyes. Awakening.
"My father started touching me when I was three years old. He'd touch me at very inappropriate places
and at times hurt me. My mother found out and that's when my father started hitting her. Beating her
to a pulp...and at times I'd think and pray that she wouldn't die. He would be even worse when he was
intoxicated. By the time I turned 7 I was what you'd call damaged goods. I wasn't a virgin anymore. "-I
say already thinking of how he'd look at me. I hated him then and I still do now.
"When I started grade 1 my little sister was born. She was conceived from rape and died of rape. My
own father raped her to death and again I was alone. My mother than committed suicide. She drank a
handful of pills. When I turned 12 I had already aborted 2 of his kids. I then had him arrested and I
haven't seen him since then which puts me at ease a little."-I say fighting back my tears. When I look up
at Xavier I saw the tears streaming down his face.
I chuckle at this very awkward time regaining my though once more and finish off my tale of pain.
"Social workers then came for me and told me that I had a grandmother. My mothers' mothers' sister.
She took care of me for years until I turned 17 and she was killed...witchcraft stuff. It was a whole
situation of the community believing she was evil whereas she preached the word of God daily."-I say
remembering her last few days on this mother earth.
How her face was covered in these plump full blisters which had a displeasing smell.
"And then there was Mandla. My grandmother's one and only son. He was just like my father. A
drunkard who'd do anything for a few cents. He...he sold the house my gran owned and then sold me to
a Mr Zakhele Nyamboso who was the boss around the palace when I first got there. I had nothing Xavier
and no one to turn to. Running to the streets and living there just seemed stupid at that time..."-I say
and heave out a sigh looking straight ahead to the burning fire.
"You see Xavier this is something I dont like talking about even though every now and then I'd still get
the dreams of him having his way with me. Every now and then I dream of Londiwe my mother. I even
see my gran. I don't even like thinking about. I've talked to therapists but I'm a lost cause. So that's me
Azania Mnguni..."-I wipe away my falling tear hoping there won't be more escaping.
"I didn't want to tell you this only because I...I didn't want to lose you. You're the first guy in forever that
didn't just see me for my pussy. A breath of fresh air...just...take me back to the please and spare my
heart from this."-I say and get up from the fluffy blanket on the floor then fix the shirt I was wearing. I
pick up my belongings and make my way to the door.
"Azania...wait..."-his voice rough from all the crying he was doing.
I watch as he hops up from the blanket we were sitting on and jogs to me. The moment he stood in front
of me I was certain he just wanted to shove me out of the house himself. Somaar throw me in his car
boot and dump me some ditch for me to find my way to the palace on my own...but he didn't.
Instead I feel his hand holding mine.
"Don't go. Stay."
"Xavier..."
"Please."-he holds my hand tighter and I drop the things in my free hand.
I nod.
Again my walls are tested as I stood oh-so-closely to this man who been ever so handsome from the
very first day I met him. His hair combed to side and my nose took in his scent which was both on him
and I.
I move closer contemplating on whether I should really stay or not.
Sheesh.
Why isn't he saying anything!
"I'm going to sleep."-I say sighing. Tomorrow I'm leaving so I have to rest. I move away from him and
attempt on walking away but he pulls me back and immediately smashes his majestic lips on mine.
Kissing the living daylights out of me. His tongue invaded my mouth as I allowed myself to kiss him back.
My fingertips feel the stubble along his jawline...
I balance myself by holding onto his shoulders. He lifts me up and instinctively I wrap my legs around his
waist and he walks off. Soon enough I'm lowered and placed on what felt like that soft blanket we were
sitting on earlier. My legs rest on his sides and I feel his hands glide on my bare skin underneath his
loose fitted tshirt.
He pulls out of the hungry kiss and looks down at me the fire lighting his blue eyes.
"What?"-I utter breathlessly.
Maybe we shouldn't be doing this...
"You're beautiful even with all your flaws."-He says and I swear for a moment there I blushed.
"You're not drunk are you?"
He chuckles lightly shaking his head.
"No Spencer..."-I chuckle this time around pulling him to me by the collar of his tshirt. His arms cage me
and my fingers search for the hem lifting it and seconds later it was off.
I watched how he pulled off the track pants I had on leaving me and him completely exposed. He leaned
forward placing kisses all over my body. He nibbled and sucked his to my neck. A moan escapes my
mouth when I feel him slowly penetrating me filling me.
"You okay?"-He asks still in me.

"Yes."-I breathe out.
My nails dig into his back and I feel shivers go down my spine.
He starts thrusting...each trust getting deeper and faster and I liked it. I moved my hips up to meet him.
I moved my hands from his back and started fiddling with his silky hair.
"Oh...Xae..!"-I call out feeling all sorts of pleasure build up in me. His groaning and my moaning fill and
light up the place and it's then that I lose myself in my high shaking and calling his name...
When I got back on earth I opened my eyes still catching my breath. "Wow."-I utter feeling like this was
long overdue.
He goes to sucking my rock hard nipples before I yielded him pushing him back gently until I sat upright.
I bit on my bottom lip as I made him lay down on the blanket.
I straddle him facing the opposite direction. I directed his dick on the entrance of my wet slit letting all
of him in.
He curses a couple of times before being pulled back by him.

"Legs on the side baby."-He says stealing my shine but I do that nonetheless. Spreading my legs wider
than before. His arms hook around mine before he began to move. Each thrust made me bounce...
His hands travel to my boobs which he cupped and teased before travelling even further down my
pussy. I felt how he started playing with my aroused clit massaging gently...
"Can I love you now Aza?"-he asks still fucking me senseless.
"Mhnnn..."
"Let me in Azania...let me in."-He says moving his fingers faster on my clit.
"Mhnmmm..."-I moan hearing him loud and clear...it's just that I didn't know what to say. I know he
meant I should let him into my heart but...
My body sings with pleasure as I cum shivering panting sweating and lost. I nearly sat up when pleasure
hit but he held me down his lips close to my ear and I listened to him groan him too letting go and filling
my pussy with his cum.
I let go of the blanket I've been pulling and lay still...savouring the moment with him still in me.
-----------------------------------------
I wake up alone in this huge bed. The grey light from outside painted this room to life and immediately
earlier's actions came flooding back.
I try and find fault at it but my mind just doesn't seem to come up with any thus far. I sit up rubbing my
eyes. Did he leave me here on my own?
I heave out a sigh...of course he did.
I get out of the bed and quickly make it. The clothes I was wearing yesterday was probably still
downstairs. I go rinse my mouth in bathroom before going to steal another pair of clothes.
I then make my way downstairs taking in the delicious smell of...eggs?
He looked up at me before smiling broadly. "Morning."-him.
"Hi."-I say when I reach the kitchen. He turned down the heat of the stove before taking both my hands
into his rubbing the knuckles gently. He still had his just fucked hair.
"How'd you sleep?"
"I slep...uhmm...look Xavier I know yesterday was a m-..."-I start but get interrupted.
"I hope you won't say mistake cause I don't regret a thing and you didn't accidentally slip and fall on my
dick...look at me."-he says the last part softer.
"I love you Azania. I've loved you since the day I tapped on your shoulder and you nearly shit your
pants."-He says making me chuckle.
"I didn't nearly shit my pants Xander."
"I beg to differ..."-He chuckles
"Mxm your pan is going to burn."-I say hoping this would change the topic but instead all he does is
remove the pan from the heat and focuses back on me again.
Why is he so persistent on wanting to...to love me?
"I'll wait...until you love me then."-He says and smirks pecking my lips before letting go of my hands to
go back to his pots.
I sigh.
"Can I borrow your phone I have to make a call."-I ask.
"On the lounge table."
I nod and make my way to the lounge spotting it from a distance. I take it and unlock it. No password.
It rings a couple of times before she answers sounding tired and still sleepy.
"Zama speaking what the fuck did you wake me up for?"-She says and I snort.
"Is this how you answer every call?"-I ask and I can sense her sitting up and paying a bit more attention
now.
"Azi?"
"Yeah..."-I answer and she yells a little.
"Mfazi! Where the hell are you?"-She asks me and I look back at the kitchen.
"I'm with him."-I whisper.
She squeals. "Did you two fuck? Was it good?"

Hebanna...Zimu!
"Zama that's not why I called you."-I say a smile dancing on my lips.
"Ah. Ufunani ke? (What do you want then?)"
"To know if you took my stuff..."
"Duh."-She says and I sense a bit of eyes rolling with that.
"Good then that means you have my room key please pack my clothes for me in that p-..."
"That pink suitcase? Got it."-Her.
"Thanks Zama...I'll be there soon okay?"
"Ayt you know I like pizza right?"-She says making me giggle.
"Okay bye Zama."-I hang up only to find him looking at me.
"Uhmm...I'm going to Dubai."-I say.

Why am I even telling him that?
"Dubai?"
I nod. "A vacation."
"You're not going."
"Eh? I needed your permission to go kanti?"-I ask putting my hands on my waist.
"You didn't have to. In fact I want you to quit. Come live with me I'll take care of you."
"No Xavier."-me.
Then the staring contest begins.
And I'm not going to lose.
"Why are you so stubborn?"-he asks looking away. "I'm not here to hurt you Azania."-He says in a low
voice.
----
We drove in silence. I know he was sulking because I didn't listen to him.
After a long drive he parks in front of the gate and immediately switches off the engine. "I don't like
this."-he utters covering his eyes his hand and rests the elbow on the window rest.
I should probably tell him that I won't be taking clients for his and my sake. Somewhere in my tainted
heart I was considering leaving the palace. Start a 'proper' life.
"I'll be back in a few days Xavier. Don't worry."
"And you quit when you come back right?"
I nod.
"I want to hear you say it Xavier."-He says and looks at me looking all types of serious.
"I'll quit Xavier."

I see him smile and I roll my eyes.
"I have to go."-me.
"Can I come see you before you go?"-he asks.
"If it'll make you sleep at night."-I joke.
I step out minutes later and watch him drive off. I make my way in wearing the heels. The front door
shoots open and Zama comes rushing out.
"Mfazi!"
"Izindaba uzithanda (you love news)"-I say chuckling
"I can't wait to hear it all honestly."-She says and I roll my eyes.
Someone clears their throat gaining both our attention. Tiger.
His arms are folded in front of his chest and I can already feel his stupid lecture coming on.
"Where were you?"-He asks me a grown ass 24 year old.
And shem this time around I feel like I should tell him what it is.
"I was with Xavier."
"Xavier? Who's Xavier?"-Him.
Zama snorts.
"My boyfriend."-I joke and watch how he squirms in anger.
"Boyfriend? Wa jolla now Azania? (You're dating now...?)"-he asks as I made my way forward.
Standing in front of him.
"Yes is there a problem?"-I ask watching how he squints his eyes moving closer to me and I push him
back and out of my way.
"Thought as much. Let's go Zama."-we walk past him with Zama laughing her life out
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
11
Chapter 11
"So you're really leaving?"-Xavier asked as I sat on the passenger's seat of his Mercedes looking straight
ahead.
"We've been over this Xae...just let me go and have a moment to think and relax."
He heaves out the longest sigh I've ever heard and reaches over to the cabinet opening it and taking out
a box.
"Here."
"What is this?"-I ask taking it cautiously it could be a bomb for all we know.
"Open it."-He says making me roll my eyes.
I untie the ribbon and put it on my lap. I remove the lid from the box and come face to face with some
beads. It has these tiny gold and black beads and a silver half a heart with an X on it.
Xavier?
"Beads?"
Couldn't it be something like a pair of diamond earrings or diamond a necklace?

"Yes I have my own too."-He says and takes it out of the inside of his jeans' pocket. His is silver and black
and also has a half heart hanging from it. "My half has 'A' written on it."
Azania
Ncooooh...but...
"Why would you even buy me something like this?"-I question taking it out of its box.
It actually looks nicer than it did in the box now. "Those beads change colour. "-He says side smiling.
"They are mood beads straight from my sisters' shop."
"Your sister owns a jewellery shop?"-I ask and he nods. I slip the gift on my left wrist and admire it some
more.
Maybe this was way better than all those diamond things I wanted earlier or actually ever received. The
more I look at my unusual gift is the more I actually fall in love with it.
"Thank you."-I utter closing the empty box.
"İt's a pleasure. I just can't wait for you to get back here so you can quit."
I heave out a sigh. "I'm sure it's not going to be that easy becau..."-I rethink my whole sentence. I nearly
mentioned that I was hoe of the month not so long ago.
"Because?"-him.
"Because...I've been here for years Xae and I'm sure they'll make it hard for me to leave. "
"But you will leave."-he says reaching for my hand entwining our fingers. It didn't even sound like he was
asking me.
"Yes I will."
"You don't know how happy that makes me feel."-He says lifting our entwined hands and brings them
closer to his lips. Softly he pecks the back.
"Your bracelet is purple."-He says smiling while I just frown.
"What does that mean?"-I ask but he doesn't answer me. He insteads pecks my hand again.
"I...I have to go."
Xavier nods and frees my captured hand.

"Right."-He sighs out.
"I'll call you when we land."-I say hoping that would put him in a lighter mood.
I opened the door but refrained from pushing it open.
I look at him one more time taking his handsome self in. Deep down I felt like indeed I was going to miss
him very much. He really has attached himself to my soul. I lean in and lay my lips on his kissing him
slowly until he finally starts kissing me back. My eyes closed. I felt his warm hand caress my cheek
making me melt instantly. I pulled the door closed and pulled out of this kiss. My emotions were
everywhere honestly but I knew what I wanted right now.
"Push your seat back."-I whisper still close to his face and watch how he opens his eyes.
"Wah? What?"-he utters and pushes a strand of my wig hair behind my ear.
"Your seat...push it back."
He looks like he's processing all of this before he acually lets go of my cheek and pushes his seat back. I
toss the box to the backseat and raise myself over the gear and after a whole struggle settles on his lap.
Straddling him. The short dress I had on -picked it out when Zama and I were looking for a suitable outfit
for Dubai- rode up even more exposing my thighs.
He rests his hands on them before I lift his face looking directly into his blue eyes which look ablaze right
now. Giving them a darker colour.
I melt.
I want him now...in this damn car.
I didn't even care if anyone is going to see us right now.
"Aza..."
"Shhhh...don't say anything."-I say pressing a lock button by his door. I then move my face closer to his
again and kiss him. I allow my fingers to run through his hair in the same direction it was combed in. I
hear him groan as I started grinding on his lap trying to ignore how hot and wet I felt. My nipples
weren't giving me mercy either cause they just wanted his touch. They wanted his tease and gentle
kisses...
I felt his boner right underneath me and I shivered moving my hand to it. The hardness probing through
the tough fabric. I gently squeeze it earning a deep groan from. I soon felt his hand on my wet covered
slit. He slid my thong to the side and made contact with my throbbing clit. I felt his fingers invade my
entrance slipping in with no struggle. He broke the kiss leaving me pouting and breathless.
I moaned as he continued to pound his finger in and out of me. The look he had in his eyes told me he
wanted this just as much as I wanted it. "You're so wet..."-He breathes out and bites on his pink bottom
lip.
"Do you blame me Mr King? You are a sight after all. "-I manage to utter before his fingers dug deeper in
my wet slit making me moan louder than before.
"The things you make me do Miss Mnguni..."-Xavier says making me open my eyes.
He said my surname correctly!
"You've been practicing?"
"I'm serious about you Azania...I want you to be mine and mine forever. "-He breathes out and I feel his
fingers pull out of my pussy. I watch as he brought his fingers that were glistening of my wetness to his
mouth and licked then clean.
Damn.
The way he did that was just so damn sexy and again I felt like there really could be more to us even if
I've never been this serious about anyone. Yes I'd find some of them attractive -no lie- but what I felt
right now for this man was an unknown thing to me.
"Sooo...soooo...good."-him. I swear if I was the colour of his skin I'd be pink from all the unwanted
blushing I've been doing. I undo his pants carefully and lower his boyleg as well bringing King junior out
to play. I had my eyes fixed on his package the alive blood pumping veins and the precum made me
want to take him in my mouth at that moment but that would be a task in here. I allowed my fingers to
rest around the thickness and began moving it up and down.
He rested his head on the seat and hissed. After a few strokes I let him go and reached for the side of his
chair before the seat laid back a little.
Perfect.
I raised myself and guided his dick to my entrance and allowed it to fill me in one go. This had to be a
quickie but I wanted it to last as well. He shimmied forward and I rested my hands on his shoulders.
I start grinding and riding on him. The car filled with the sound of my moaning his groaning and the
pleasing sound of all my humping.
"F..fuck!"-He cursed holding onto my waist.
"You feel so good Xae gosh!"-I told breathless. My insides pulling in a delicious way and I swear I
would've let go right there and then if he didn't say jack.
"Wait for me Azania!"
"I...I can't..."-That was the truth. I needed release now.
"Fuck Azania!"-He said and I knew it wouldn't be long before he came as well.
"Ah!"-I yelled out. My insides tumble and my body glitches as pleasure washes over me. Sending me to a
numbing paradise that he managed to bring so easily.
"Mhnnn..."-He follows soon after and I feel him fill me up...
I lay my head on his soulder breathing in his scent from his neck. I loved how he smelt so good honestly.
I felt how he brushed my back gently making me sleepy.
"I have to go now."-I mumble.
"Just another minute."-Him.
I sighed and felt him holding me closer. More than a minute goes by and he finally lets me go. All the
windows and the windscreen were covered in fog.
There's a knock on one of the windows.
"Azania."-That was Zama's voice.
Xavier chuckles lowly before I lift my head from his shoulder.

"Mfazi."
"Come we have an urgent meeting."-She says.
"Okay ngiyeza (I'm coming)"
"Sharp."-Zama.
"What does ngiyeza mean?"-Xavier asks and I snort. "Konje you're not black."
"Ouch. Of course I'm not black."
"It means I'm coming. By the way that means I really have to go now."-I peck his lips and he nods.
"Don't forget to call me when you land."-He says as we stood outside. The cold creeping up on me.
"I wont."
"I love you Azania."-He says the honesty radiating on his flawless face. All mine manages to do is blust
before I turned and walked off. The empty box in my hand.
When I walked into the palace everyone was seated and immediately I felt their eyes on me.
"Yes it is me. Azania. Stop staring."-I say.

"That little boyfriend of yours is making you cocky nhe?"
"And that's a problem to you how?"
"Azania I'm still your boss!"-Tiger roars making me chuckle.
"You're not my boss Nqoba is. Now can this meeting thing commence or are you just going to keep
delaying us with nonsense?"-I sit next to Zama.
I watch his nostrils flare in banging anger but I could honestly care less. He needs to get off his high
horse and realise he's just here to standby.
"Nxa. Our flight leaves at around 19h00. We leave here in 30 minutes. Once we land we'll be escorted to
a hotel and the rest we'll handle once we're there."-He says and walks out.
That's it?
That's the important meeting I had to rush to?

Sheesh.
I put the last few short dresses into my suitcase before zipping it up. I put on my thigh high boots and
don't bother changing my dress.
It smelt like him...
I put on a black cardigan then make my way downstairs with my suitcases. One of the drivers take them
from me and loads them into a car. I quickly rush back to my room to double check if I took everything
and once I'm satisfied I go back downstairs to our ride. A whole quantum.
Haha.
Zinhle sat next to Nomvelo and Zama at the far corner.
Argh now I have to sit next to one of these other ladies.
Lahifa.
"You look good."-her voice soft and sweet.
"Thanks Lahi. I'm ready for this Dubai weather."-I beam.
Truth be told we all looked good.
The journey began I was just busy on my phone. Lahifa too.
"Mfazi!"-Zama called me out startling me.
"Mfazi."-I look up at her.
"Isn't this you and Xavier?"
I frown looking at the screen.
Oh my word...it is him and...I'm on his chest. This was posted a few hours ago.
"Where in heavens name did you find that picture?"
"On insta."-Zama says and I hear a few ouuuu's.
"What!"
I immediately exit facebook and go to insta. I'm not even following him but I search his name and find
him instantly.
Xavier_King.
His photogenic-ness is impeccable. The photo. It really is there! 621 likes.
"Reason why I'm happy again."-I read the caption.
Oh he's sooo dead when I come back here!
--------------------------------------
My bracelet was red the moment we landed after 8 hours on a non stop Emirates flight. The
international airport was full of people -all races and sizes- making me feel little.
"Pinch me Azi piiiinnnccchhhh me!"-Zama says jumping around me like a mad woman.
"Haibo. Why?"
"We're in Dubai hoe! Like thee Dubai entlek I can't breathe! Azania you're not pinching me!"-her arms
were on my shoulders shaking me.
"Okay okay..."-I pinch her and she yells jumping around again.
Sigh.
Zimu!
How did we become friends again?
After getting our luggage we go to the ubers or whatever that were here to fetch us. I couldn't focus
actually cause deep down I was excited about these coming 7 days that I already had tiny events
planned in my head.
Another thing caught my attention as we drove.
"Is that what I think it is?"-Zama whispers in an amused tone.
"Burj Al Arab? Wow."
The closer we got the more I glued my eyes to it. The snail shaped building stood tall and proud and was
by far the tallest building I've ever come across. The ride came to a halt in a drop off area and I got to
open my own damn door.
"My word."-Zama exclaimed meanwhile I couldn't utter shit.
The view of the pool and beach were breathtaking. I was beyond myself here.
"Right Ladies Mantombazane you're going to be sharing rooms 2 by 2 please. I already have a feeling
you'll know who to share with but Nomvelo...you're off limits waitsi (you know). Here you go."-He
handed some of us keys and Zama hooked my arm.
"Now in an hour we'll meet down here for lunch. For now these people will escort you to your rooms."-
Tiger said pulling Nomvelo to him and they strutted away with their own escort.
"Greetings I'm Subhi."-ours said to us. Zama nudged my shoulder gently and I nearly chuckle. I know
now that she's fancying the Arab man. "Please follow me."
"With pleasure."-Her voice sounds completely different. It sounded like if I wasn't here she'd have
pounced on the poor guy.
"Here it is."-Subhi stood next to a door which had our number on it.
18.
"Mind bringing them in for us? I don't want to break a nail."-Zama.
Halala girl!
"Of course."-He says still keeping a professional front. I took the keys from Zama and unlocked. She
opened the door and I fell in love instantly. The room was beautiful and it had two beds in the one
room.
I wonder how much Nqoba spent on this.

Subhi bought our bags in and told us to call if we needed anything.
"Anything?"-Miss Xulu asked and I forced myself out of her hold.
"Yes mam."
"Please call me Zama Subie-Subie."-She flirted and I couldn't keep my laughter suppressed anymore.
"Don't mind her she's just jealous."-Zama.
"Jealous of what? Look Subhi we'll call you if we need anything okay."-I sat on the bed and nearly sunk
in.
Subhi nodded and left faster that the wind shutting the door behind him.
"Mara mfazi...mxm..."-she threw herself on the other bed too and nearly sunk. "Kanti these are water
beds?"
"Looks like it. Anyway let me go freshen up and call Xae."
"What are you two actually kanti?"
"Huh?"-me.
"You heard me Azi...ever since he's been your jogging partner he's been a regular in your vocab."
"He's exactly that Zama a jogging partner."-I walk off.
"Hai wena when last did you go jogging? And yalls jog in the bed too now? Please tuu..."
"Zama."-I warn standing in front of the mirror in the ensuite bathroom.
"You like him...no scratch that you love him don't you?"-She pushes and I sigh.
Love? No.
"I don't even know how to love I've never experienced love even from my own father. How could I
possibly love another being?"-I say. My voice low but still audible.
"Zania you deserve love. No matter how much of a bad person you think you are."-She says now
standing behind me.
Our eyes connecting on the mirror.
"He asked me to quit and live with him."

"Now if that isn't enough to prove that he is in love with all of you then I don't know what is. Give him a
chance...I'm not saying marry the guy but let him into that stubborn heart of yours. You know you want
to. Plus I stalked him for you and he seems clean."-She says that last part with a smile on her face.
That explains why she was on his Instragram.
"I'll do that if you quit with me."-I utter turning to face her. She blinks. "Come on Zama I'm not leaving
you behind."
She looks at me in silence probably considering this too. We've talked about this before. We'll see our
way out of this together if we have to.
"I'll quit."-Zama.
---
We sat gracefully at a table that was outdoors being served Dubai's finest delicacies.
All of us seated on a single big round table.
Zama had her eyes on that Subhi guy as he talked to some lady a little further away.
"I think we should toast."-Zinhle said lifting her glass of bubbly.
"To what?"-Rendani.
"To my sexy Tiger for bringing us here."-Nomvelo says making me roll my eyes.
"To Nqoba's overflowing bank!"-Zama.
"Yesss! To his money."-Me.
"To Dubai!"-Celia.
"To Burj-what-what."-Naomi added.
"To-..."-Hanna started but Zinhle cut her short.
"Yoh haibo cheers already!"-Zinhle said and we all clicked our glasses together...
Blue.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
12
Chapter 12
These past 3 days have been...hot. I thought that by just googling the weather of this side that we'd
atleast be prepared but no. The heat literally 'forced' Zama and I to sleep butt naked with the bloody
aircon on. And to top it off the rules around here prohibited short shorts...meaning almost half of all the
shorts I bought along were useless. I had to do some shopping to add back some of my outfits.
A firm knock on the door bought me out of my slumber. Zama on the other hand was dead asleep. I
heave out a sigh when the knocker knocks again. "I'm coming. Sheesh."-I utter getting off the bed pulling
the cover with me and attempt on covering my naked body.
"Who is it?"
"Subhi mam."-The guy says and I unlock and open for him. "I bought breakfast."-He points to the whole
trolley loaded with food.
"Oh...it's past 8 already ?"-I ask rhetorically. "Thanks Subhi."
"İt's always a pleasure mam. Sir also requested that you both be ready by 10h00 for the next
destination."-He says and I nod.
That 'Sir' being Tiger.
Subhi leaves and I'm left to manoeuvre the trolley in myself while keeping the duvet in place.
"Mfazi vuka! (wake up woman!)"

"Angifuni. (I don't want to)"-she says sitting up and rubs her eyes to life.
"Then that means I'm feasting without you then. "-I throw the duvet onto the bed again and get my
suitcase. I pull out a pair of simple shorts put them on then go sit on the couch in here. "Mmhhmm
bacon!"-I yell putting a whole piece into my mouth.
Chewing and swallow after a while. "Mhmm...pancakes with syrup!"-I beam and cut a piece and feed
myself.
"Okay! I'm coming Mrs King."
"Yey!"-my eyes go wide.
"What? Is there a problem Mrs King?"
What the heck is wrong with this woman?
My phone rings on my bedside table and Zama dearest rushes to get it for me.
"It's your husband...and it's a video call!"-She beams handing me my phone.
"We're not even dating Zama."-I roll my eyes.

It is a bloody video call and I'm soooo not ready to show my face to the world yet. I answer anyway
hoping the lighting would make me look better.
"Morni...where's your tshirt?"-he asks clearly fresh and ready for the new day.
"Huh?"
"Your boobs Aza..."
"Oh. You like them?"-I giggle and raise an eyebrow.
He breathes out. "Aza..."
"Relax Xae...don't worry we're still in our apartment so no one is seeing them besides you and my girl
Zama."-I try reassuring his concerned self.
"Lift your screen up then you're tempting some of us"-He shakes his head lightly as he says this and I just
chuckle.
I miss him.
"Tempting huh?"
"Yes now screen up please..."
"You sure?"
"Azania."-he says widening his eyes and I laugh lifting the phone up so my breasts were hidden from the
screen of my phone.
"Are you happy now?"
"Very...anyway how's your morning so far baby?"
"It's Azania."
"To you yes but to me you're baby."-He says and I roll my eyes.
"It's been chilled Zama and I are just having our breakfast before we hit the shower and then the road."-
I brief him and all the while he kept on nodding.
"And where are you guys headed today?"
"I have no idea but if it's as beautiful as the place we visited yesterday the one in the pics then I'm
definitely looking forward to it."-I reply and reach for a piece of bacon.
"Those pics huh? "
"Yeah they were breathtaking weren't they? "-I utter swallowing.
"The only breathtaking thing in those pictures was you Aza."-He says and I felt my face heating up. I
immediately I bit on my lower lip.
Cheesy!
"Ooouuuu...."-Zama interrupted my moment reminding me of her subtle presence. She's usually out
when I'm on the phone with him.
"Xavier pl-..."
"Be mine Miss Mnguni. Let me love you like none before."
"I..."
He's got me trapped in a corner and I don't know what to say. Yes I want him but this is a commitment I
feel would ruin our 'friendship' if it failed...but why am I even thinking of that?
My mouth fails to utter the word 'yes' for the longest while as we just looked at each other.
"Azania! Say yes marn!"-Zama. I look at her with a scolding look while Xavier chuckles on the other side
of the screen. "Listen to your friend baby...please say yes. Be my girlfriend"
The butterflies in my stomach are acting up but I'm still a frozen mess. My mind still can't fathom why
he's choosing to stick around after I told him about all my dirty deeds and nasty past.
Why hasn't he run for the hills yet?
Why haven't I blue ticked him or blocked him from having any sorts of communication with me?
And why the heck is this bracelet always purple when I talk to him?
Sheesh.
"Look...it's fine I'll understand if you say n-..."
"Yes."-I blurt and bite the insides of my cheeks.
"Yes?"
"Xander I wasn't stuttering."
"Sehranmagzine.comsehranmagzine.coma!"-Zama yells and stands her naked self dancing around the
room.
"So this means Azania Mnguni soon to be King is my girlfriend?"
"Don't push it."-I warn jokingly.
He chuckles and shows me his bracelet.
Purple.
---
We walked to the group.

Zama and I ready for the day. By now you should know that I'm usually not punctual to these meetings
and that is exactly what I was.
A whole 15 minutes late and I dared him to blow a fuse.
He just looked at me and flared his nostrils then turned back to the other ladies.
"Burj Khalifa is on the menu today so I hope you ladies have everything you need no stops will be made
today like yesterday am I clear Lahifa?"-He asks.
I nod too knowing well enough that this heat was nothing compared to what I was going to feel outside.
Yesterday we visited the Dubai fountain a choreographed fountain complex and it was a sight to behold.
The reason why they put Lahifa in the spotlight is because she's the one who kept on asking our ride
stop so she could buy things like sunscreen and even a sunhat.
We then made our way to the ride here and settle in our seats.
"So what exactly is our plan the moment we quit?"-Zama.
"I have no solid idea but surely applying for a job would work."-I say.
I know he can hear us.
"I've never really worked my anywhere else apart from at the palace it would surely feel weird."-Zama
says and I nod.
"Feeling is mutual to be honest I'm scared if not nervous about this whole thing."
She snorts causing me to look at her confused. "Uhlekani? (what are you laughing at?)"
"İt's good to see that you are also human and also get fear and all those nice humanly things."
"But I'm always nervous."-I say.
"Then you're really good at hiding it then cause I thought you were allergic to such."-She says and I
gently slap her shoulder.
I've learned to be like that over the years that passed. It has always been my defence and coping
mechanism. Being weak in the place I work at was not an option. Opening your legs for a complete
stranger letting them penetrate you pretending to enjoy it bearing the pains and cramps of laying on
one side for too long sucking big to small dicks fucking your own boss' father and nearly getting caught
by the wife and plenty of other things like an ugly client a 2 minute noodle some with funny/ unpleasant
odours people who were rude and judgemental but they're the ones that came to this person who's
wasting away their lives...
Argh!
I stare out the window...
She would attend church regularly with me too of course. Many loved her...or so I thought.
This one day she returned home quite early from church. I had stayed behind because I wasn't feeling
well that day. "They're after me."-were her words after she quickly shut the door behind her locking it
and completely taking my focus off from the math homework in front of me.
"who?"-I asked and her reply took me aback "The community!"
She then rushed to her room leaving me in the kitchen to wonder ahead at what could be the cause of
her fear.
Then I heard it.
The words that even today I'll never forget.
"THAT WITCH MUST DIE!"-the crowd outside kept on calling and calling. They threw things towards the
house breaking our windows in the process. They were accusing my grandmother of being a witch!
A woman who took care of me when both my parents failed to.
A woman who used her pension money to put me through school when it seemed impossible.
That was the same woman who was buying the food around there paying the electricity and the same
woman who made sure I had clothing on my body.
I called the police and the angry community fled.
Weeks went on there were no further attacks... but my grandmother's health was slowly but surely
deteriorating. Her face had the worst outbreak of these plump full pimples I've ever seen and to top it
off they had this terrible odour I learnt to tolerate.
She lost strength.

She lost weight.
And her only son Mandla was using her pension money to feed his alcohol addiction. He never lived with
us but when I called him he came running for her money. He even sold a few of her stuff for an extra
buck.
On the 6th of September 2005 on my day of birth I came back home from school to a cold lifeless Nancy.
My grandmother.
I swear that's when I completely lost myself.
Imagine organising a funeral without any money and absolutely depending on the state to atleast hide
her body in a respectable way.
And Mandla didn't even care about his mother passing on. Instead he sold the house to some lady who
found a job around that village and then he...
Zama tapped on my shoulder and bought me out of my deep thought. "You okay?"-She asks me.
I'll never forget the day she came into my life.
My very first day at the palace with what I'd consider thee ugliest clothes I could've ever owned. We
were the same age lost both broke and betrayed. She kinda chose to come there for a quick buck and
she promised herself to quit after a year of making money...but that failed. There's nothing more
attractive then the money there and there always seemed to be a lot of it.
Not like a lot but a lot a lot. Rich clients bonuses and even the strip club money. Why would you even
want to leave that?
Why would Í even want to leave that?
I sigh and nod. "I'm okay just stuck in deep thought."
I feel my phone vibrate inside my handbag. I take it out. A message.
Audio from Xae Bae. Zama though! I eye her. She changed his name on my phone and didn't bother
warn me? I chuckle.
Download.
"Anybody in here have earphones?"-I ask.
"Uhmm...No."-Lahifa.
"Let me check."-Rendani says and digs in her handbag. "Ah here."
I take them from her and thank her before connecting them to my phone.
Download complete.
*Listen to that song and more especially to the lyrics*-his text read.
This better be good.
I press play on the song and the sound is just majestic. Piano...Trumpets and calmness wash over me.
Reggae? I don't even listen to reggae. That's Zama's thing.
"I've been looking everywhere for you
Since the day we met
I've never been my old self again oh hoo
You don't have to believe in everything I say right now
Cause to you I'm just another man
Until I prove myself to be
Worthy of your love
you see I'm not the kind of guy
That will bring you
Flowers everyday
I'm not the kind of guy

That will tell you
I love you in many fancy ways
Oh girl !
I've got to tell you this
I love you !
I want you
I love you !
I want you
Oh hoo hoo
I'm your Romeo
Could you be my Juliet (5x)
I know what women want
I've been around long enough

To understand it
But I want you to tell me
How to love you
'Cause I want to love you
The way you want to be loved
It is better to have loved & lost
Than never to have loved at all
See I'm not the kind of guy
That will bring you
Flowers everyday
I'm not the kind of guy
That will tell you
I love you in many fancy ways
But my girl
I've got to tell you this
I love you!I want you
I love you!I want you
I think I'll prove myself
To be worthy of your love
I'm your Romeo
Could you be my Juliet..."-The man sings out and I'm taken. The message is beautiful and interesting.
*whose song is this?*-I text him and within seconds I receive an answer.
*Lucky Dube*-him.
*You listen to Lucky Dube?*
*Lol a little the man was good.*-him.
*I can hear*-I texted and gave Rendani her earphones back.

*This guy who used to tend to our garden listened to him on a daily and often taught me of his music
deep stuff. Not like the shallow doef-doef music we listen to nowadays.*-he texts me and I nearly laugh
at the last statement.
*are you trying to say we listen to shallow doef-doef music?*-Me.
*yes yes I am.*-him.
Ha. I sit back on the seat and laugh silently. God bless his soul for me.
"Right we're here."-Tiger said and my eyes dart up meeting directly with the Burj Khalifa building. A
sight.
---
The stuffiness and loudness of this place makes me fully aware that I'm indeed in a club. The guards
asked for ID's to check our ages as if we looked 10 years old or something.
"Woah! It looks hella packed in here!"-Zama yells and I nod holding onto her hand. We walk in steady on
our heels making our way to the bar.
The stares we're getting are unbelievable. People are acting as if two ladies in tight ass jeans is
something foreign...or is also illegal to look this good around here?
We both sat down on the high chairs at the bar and I couldn't help but grin at our successful escape. I
was craving Xavier's dick so bad and so we both decided to come and dance it off here at Chameleon
Club. Zama only agreed because I volunteered to buy her booze.
"Evening ladies what can I get you?"-The Arabian looking bartender male asked me.
"Shots please."-Zama.
"Same."-I yell too and turn to the dancing crowd. The feeling between my legs daunting me and it just
wouldn't go away. I wish he was here to ease my intangible desire but we still had about 4 days before I
could go back.
I sigh continuing to watch as people grinded and danced on each other rather than with each other.
"You drinks."-the waiter dude says bringing me back to this earth. I turn back and Zama has already
downed 2 of her 8 shooters.
"Woooo!"-She yells. "Ain't I glad you're the one paying for all this crap."-She says and downs her third
one.
"Better slow down on those I don't want to drag you back to Burj Al Arab with you barely remembering
your own name. "-I warn taking a shooter of my own and down it within seconds.
Throat burning.
Lemon.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Sheesh.
Zama laughs at me as I struggle with my fifth shot. This witch!
Just because we can't down 7 shots in peace like her she laughs. "Stop it."-I yell.
"You're funny can I have your 2 other shots?"-She asks and I nod.
"Go ahead tank. I'm ordering something else."-me. "Excuse me can I have anything else that isn't this?"
The bartender nods and starts mixing up my drink.
Rihanna's works plays and I jump off my seat. Twerking as the song continued to play.
I feel a pair of hands on waist holding me recklessly. "Pretty lady."-The stranger whispers in my ear
causing me to turn around.
Ewww.
"Uhmm...exc-..."
"I'm Harlem what are your name pretty lady?"-he asks and I nearly chuckle.
"What are my name huh?"-I ask back with the same error.
"Yes pretty lady."
"I'm Amanda. "
"Armanda?"-him.
"No slima (idiot) it's Amanda."-I say eyeing Zama who's guarding both our drinks.
"Amandal?"-I roll my eyes and fake a smile.
"Yes whatever I have to go."-I walk off to Zama but I still feel his eyes on me.
"Who's he?"-Zama asks.
"Don't even bother mfazi."-I utter taking my drink and we toast before I take my first sip...
Through a wasted vision I manage to see what the time was.
02h22.
I fiddle my way to my contacts and contact the uber service that bought us here to come fetch us. I
couldn't dance anymore my feet felt heavy to the point where I had to remove my high heels. Isikhokho
sakhona (the boss) was still able to think straight and walk in the heels she came with. We walk out and
as drunk as we were I knew we would make it back to the hotel undetected by Tiger boo. We waited
patiently outside and the music was still so audible. It made me dance a bit and want to actually go back
in there but I'd rather not. I needed sleep...and...his blue Sexy eyes his pink juicy lips his beard covered
chin and...his...everything.
Before I could think any further I felt all the alcohol I drank coming up and eventually out and onto
Zama's tshirt and jeans. "Azania! What the heck?!"-She asked pulling the vomit covered tshirt away from
her body. "Sies man Mfazi haisuka! (Argh no) are you okay though?"
I feel bad for vomiting on her and even worse when I felt more coming up. I quickly move away from her
and vomit on the side walk after she holds my hair the back.
Well that second barf up was more embarrassing especially since a whole group of men just walked
passed me.
But on the other hand I felt way better. I turned back to Zama and her top looked better too. She had a
wipe in her hand.
"Next time you eat before you drink...shuu hai."-She sounds frustrated and I tried not to feel as guilty.
Minutes later we got back to the hotel and Subhi made sure we were in our room. We made him
promise not to tell Tebogo about this and he agreed. After locking our door I made my way to my bed
threw my shoes and handbag to the ground and shortly after threw myself on the bed and drifted off to
sleep hoping that my hangover will be a little calmer when I woke up.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
13
Chapter 13
The vibrating sensation on my ass wakes me up. My wet dream gone but it still felt alive. I reach for my
jeans' back pocket and take out the vibranting machine.
It's a reminder.
Contraception injection.
I switch it off and force myself up and stretch.
07h01.
No headache.
Zama is snoring and I roll my eyes getting off the bed and remove the tight jeans I accidentally slept in.
The tshirt too and climb back into bed trying to fall back to sleep since I still had about an hour before
breakfast would be bought up here.
5 minutes go by and absolutely no sleep comes my way. It's like the gods of hoeville really want
Xavier...or maybe it's just me. I pull the cool duvet over my naked body and huff.
I wonder if he's thinking of me.
I want him to touch me with his soft Caucasian hands. I want to watch him turn red when he's frustrated
and when he's blushing. I want to do so many things but this Dubai thing is holding me back now. I feel
like quitting today and leaving Zama will follow me.
Again my phone vibrates bringing me out of my wild thoughts and I'm too lazy to look at the notification
or whatever.
My hand rested on my honeypot eyes shut.
It stops vibrating and I silently thank it focussing back on my Xavier kissing my neck and...
The bloody thing vibrates again and in my frustrated state I reach for it and answer with my eyes still
closed.
"You better be dying."-I say my voice still in a deep state from the lack of speaking since I woke up.
"I am dying dying to see you again."-he says and I smile before taking a sharp breath of air.
"Xavier. "
"Am I disturbing something?"-He asks and I lick both of my lips before responding.
"Yes you are."
"Uhmm...what exactly am I disturbing?"-He asks and I roll my eyes.
"My imaginary session with you."-I blurt and hear him chuckle. "Don't laugh at me Xavier don't."-I warn.
He doesn't know how bad I want him right now does he?
"I'm sorry baby it's just that I miss you too...so hearing that you're even fantasising about me makes me
happy."-He says and I grin. "So what are you wearing?"
"Me? Oh nothing..."-I say.
"As in nothing at all?"
"Duh..."
"Are you touching yourself?"-He asks his voice sounding all shades of naughty.
"Yes."
"Where are you touching yourself?"-He asks and I hesitate before telling him. He's quiet. He really wants
to know.
"I'm touching my slit."-I Purr.
"And how does it feel?"
Sheesh!
"It...it feels hot."
"Is it wet?"-He asks his voice even more of a turn on.
"Very."-I answer and I swear if he leaves me hanging right now I'll lose it.
"Rub your clit for me pretend it's my hand. Caressing it slowly making you even wetter."
I just breath out and allow his words to sink in. My hand or should I say his hand rotates on my clit.
I eye Zama.
Still asleep.
"How does that feel?"-he asks.
"It feels gooood."-I bite my bottom lip.
"Good...now push a finger in there and makes sure it goes in deep."-I obey his request allowing my
middle finger to dip into my wet entrance.
"Ammm..."-I moan softly.
"Now another."-Him. I feel the shivers go down my spine as I follow out his order. "How does that feel?"
"So damn good."-I tell.
It did.
There's just something with how he told me what do to and my damn imagination that made this whole
thing so exciting.
"Now thrust those fingers slowly for me baby."

My fingers plunge gently in and out of my slit. My breathing almost sky high as I try to remain as quiet as
possible. My bottom lip almost suffering from my harsh biting. "Oh my gosh Xae...I...I-.."-he interrupts
me.
"Go faster!"-He growls.
Is he in the same ass zone I'm in?
I quicken my pace my fingers covered with my arousal. My body screaming yes from every angle. "Oh
yes."-I hiss silently.
"Let go baby!"-him.
He hisses too.
"Ah Xae!"-I let go and hear him groan on the other end.
"Azanisehranmagzine.com!"-him.
Pleasure numbing my every fibre and forcing me to still and enjoy my release. My legs shutting. "Fuck."-I
curse spent. For the longest moment I listen to both our heavy breathing.
"I hope you don't feel...never mind. "-me. I sit up.

"I do mind."
"I was just thinking out loud Xavier nothing serious."-I lie.
"Baby talk. What shouldn't I feel?"-he asks causing me to sigh.
I could just hang up right now but I know he won't stop calling the whole day.
"I hope you don't feel like a client."-I say and a sour silence washes over us. I shouldn't have said that at
all...but I did.
"A client? Why would you even say that?"
"Because...because I don't want to treat you like one."-I say truthfully. "I mean I even slept with you a
few days prior to knowing you and I-..."
"Stop it Azania. Stop it okay."-he says after interrupting me.
Silence.
"I don't want you thinking about that thing you called a life. I never want to hear you mention it ever
again."
"I can't just ignore it though. This was and kinda still is a part of me Xavier."
"It was. You said you're leaving so it was. After you leave it I don't want you to ever look back. I'll take
care of you and love you."-He says and again he's telling me what to do.
I sigh the last part caught me by the neck.
"See...this is what I don't get how can you love someone like me? How can you even stand someone
with my past and baggage?"
"I don't know...but what I do know is I love you."
I heave out a sigh and get out of this bed.
"Teach me how to love you then."

"I can't teach you that Azania love is not something to be taught but rather something you should feel. I
cannot determine your love for me by desire respect promises or even commitment. I cannot teach you
how to feel about me or how to react when you hear my name. I can't determine that for you but you
surely can because its all about how you feel about you when you're with me."-He says and I'm at a loss
of words.
What is Xavier teaching my soul exactly?
Why the heck am I doing something I have no idea of?
"Baby."-He calls me out after a whole while of silence.
"Xavier."
"I have to go."
I have to go too but oddly enough I don't want this call to end.
"Me too."-I can't even hide the disappointment in my voice. "But wait...what do these colours mean I
don't want to stay in the dark forever."
"How do I say 'I don't want' in your language?"-Xavier.
I snort. "You say angifuni."

"Yeah angifuni."
"Baby..."-I beg.
"You called me baby."-he says and I roll my eyes. "Just because you said that I'll tell you."
"Finally."-Me. He chuckles.
"Blue is for relaxed. Green is for active. Black is for stressed and also when you're not wearing it it'll be
black. Red is for anxious. Yellow is for happy and then orange is for angry. "-He says.
"What about purple? What does purple mean?"-I ask and check the bracelet which was green minutes
ago.
It's purple now.
"Purple is for love."-He says and my eyes go wide for a short while. I hear him chuckle before speaking.
"Baby I really have to go now...I love you."
He loves me?
He loves me.
Zimu he fricken loves me!
It never gets old...
Why do I want to yell?
"Ngiyakuthanda nami mlungu wami. (I love you too my whitey.)"-I say and quickly hang up determined
to leave him confused. The smile of my face!
Sheesh.
I check the time. 07h38.

Enough time for a reckless quick shower. I needed it since I smelt like alcohol and a bit of barf. My
fingers were another story on their own.
I step into the cold shower allowing the water to wash over my body.
I don't think I'm ever drinking again. Especially since I vomited on my best friend yesterday...or earlier
today. Just thinking about the fact that I did that is embarrassing.
I dry my body after stepping out of the shower. I lotion and put on one of the dry thongs that hung from
the drying rack and head out of bathroom.
"Haibo Zama!"-she doesn't move. "Zama!"
Heban is she dead or something?
I make my way to her bed and lightly shake her until she moans.
"Subhi..."-She says lazily her eyes opening slowly.
"Errr no its me Azi...now wake up. "-I say shaking her a little more. "Come breakfast should be here any
second from now."-I say while she turns around. Dressed in only her undies. I assume she woke up in
the middle of the night to remove her clothes.
"I hate you I was this close to kissing Subhi in my dream and you just had to wake me up."-She
complains and I giggle and make my way to my suitcase.
"Why not just kiss him in real life?"-I unzip the suitcase and search for my peach knee high figure
hugging dress.
"Kiss him in real life? What if the dude has a dangerous Arabian wife on standby and she sees us in the
act?"
I snort.
Dramatic much?
"Well keep it low key then mfazi."
"Ah...Anyway it wouldn't work out. I live in South Africa and he's all the way here."
"Hau then that means you'll be in a long long long distance relationship."-I say and giggle.
"Mxm. What about when im in need of some tlof-tlof?"

"Shuuu forget I said anything. "-I laugh putting on a bra and the peach dress. I pair that with my gold
block heel.
"Where is this breakfast kanti?"-She asks stretching. I shrug too reaching for my phone. 08h11.
"Let me call them and find out what's happening before my stomach starts digesting itself."-I search for
their number on google and after finding it press dial. It doesn't even ring for that long.
"Burj Al Arab hotel Nadia speaking how may I help you?"-a lady answers. She's the receptionist here and
I've seen her tiny self before.
"Hey uhmm Nadia I'm calling to ask about the breakfast we were supposed to receive today is there
some sort of delay we should know about? "-I ask. Zama makes her way to the bathroom.
"May I get your room number please."
"18."-I reply.
"Okay please give me a moment."-she says and seconds later I hear her speak again. "It looks like Sir
here made an arrangement for you to have breakfast downstairs today."
"Would've been nice if you informed us don't you think Nadia?"-I say sarcastically and zip my suitcase
with one hand.
"I apologise ma'am we would've informed you when the food was ready."-She says.
"Still. My roommate and I have been waiting."-I complain and she sighs a little.
"I apologise ma'am."
"It's fine. When should we come down?"-I ask lifting the suitcase off the bed and back to its little corner.
"At 08h50."
"Okay thanks."-I utter and hang up.
After making the bed lifting the suitcase off the bed and back to its little corner.
"At 08h50."
"Okay thanks."-I utter and hang up.
After making the bed I decide to chill and go through my Insta. The pictures I posted yesterday were
reaching 1k likes and that was fairly awesome and exciting. I sneak to Xavier's page and stumble upon
three new photos. One is his handsome self looking serious at...work? And the other is him and his
mother? The caption doesn't give much away but there's a purple heart on and 'cancer didn't take you'
written next to it.
She look like her son or its the other way around. Blue eyes and beautiful pale skin. Her rich brown curls
round off her full face. She's not a tiny woman at all.
I move to the last picture and cringe. What's with this man and uploading weird ass ugly ass and
unexpected ass pictures of me?
This one is from yesterday when he video called me. This screenshot captured every terrible angle I
could ever imagine. My wig looked a mess and so did my pale face.
Argh!
I did say I was going to strangle this man when I get back to Johannesburg.
The caption: have yall seen my girlfriend?
Mind you this was probably posted after 3 minutes of me agreeing to be his girlfriend.
I have to get some of his unexpected pics and post them too I mean revenge is sweet after all.
Zama walks out after almost 20 minutes in the shower a towel wrapped around her body. A few more
minutes later we headed out and made our way to where we'd have our breakfast. Again they booked a
huge table to accommodate us all. Only our two seats were left and we filled them after greeting.
"So yes that's what I'm going to suggest to Nqoba so we could make more money for the palace."-Tiger
says and drinks his latte. I frown clearly lost.
I turn to Rendani. "What were you guys talking about? "
"You'd know that if you bothered to join us here for our meeti-..."-Tiger starts but I cut him off.
"Excuse me Wasn't I taking to Rendani?"
"Eish."-Zinhle.
"Ouch!"-Naomi. "Dat mus hurt'ooo (that must hurt.)"

"Don't you dare raise your voice to my boyfriend."-Nomvelo blabs and I chuckle.
"Keep your cookie on I'll talk to your 'boyfriend' the way I want to. He should learn to keep his trap shut
when people aren't talking to him."-I say and he angrily stands up and his look pierces through me.
"Azania!"
"Uyarasa (you're making noise) Tebogo jeez."-I say as cool as a cucumber.
"You are disrespectful you worthless bitch!"-he scolds but I just roll my eyes and turn to Rendani waiting
for her answer.
"He's suggesting we get new girls...maybe 2 and instead of just 1 client for Fridays we should take 3 so
our bonuses increase."-Rendani narrates and I clap once.
"Good grief."
"So what you're saying is we should fuck more to somehow hope we get bonuses by the end of the
month?"-Zama.
"That's basically it."-I say and reach for a piece of toast. I break it in half and bite a piece off.
Buttery.
"You 2 really are disrespectful shem."-Nomvelo says and looks away while I look at Tiger's blazing eyes.
"Don't worry I'll be out of your hair in a few days and you won't have to fuss over disrespectful Azania
ever again."
"Same here."-Zama.
"You're quitting?"-Celia asks and I nod.
"That's not happening. "-Tiger says and I stand slowly.
"Oh yes it is boy."-Zama says.
It's a stare off for a while before he clicks his tongue and walks off dialing someone on his phone. I was
seriously not going to look back now...or ever.
A waiter later bought me cappuccino and I took a video of him grating gold sprinkles on top of it.
Talk about over the top.
---
Our ride back was even quieter than when we went to the Dubai mall. One thing that kept me on level
though was my shopping with Zama. We bought so many new outfits that I felt like we wouldn't be
allowed to take it all back to SA. New pair of shoes and a bottle of Shampoo for Xavier. He clearly never
has enough of it judging from what I saw when I looked through his cupboard that night.
I was however also tempted to buy foreign paint and paint something but I decided not to. I did
however buy myself 2 new brushes I didn't need.
*I miss you.*-The text from him read.
*Me too. I told tiger today that I'm quiting and he nearly flipped.*-I text back. Zama slept on my
shoulder.
*Nearly?*
*Yeah but trust me he wouldn't have done jack cause I would've fought back.*-Me.
*You're making me scared too now.*-Him. He even sends a whole row of laughing emoji's and I send
him the emoji that rolls his eyes.
*Relax I would never hurt you physically.*-I text back.
*Okay but I don't like this Tiger dude at all though. I've never met him but already he makes my blood
boil.*-Xavier.
*He's a wet dog believe me.*
*Speaking of pets Phantom says hi.*-He even sends me a cat emoji and I chuckle.
*Your cat talks now?*
*Yep*
---
I laid on my water bed facing the ceiling. The detailing boring me to death. I wanted to do something fun
like yesterday and sneak out but I wasn't in the mood for a drink.
"Mfazi I'm bored. Let's do something."-I say turning my head to face her. She puts her phone aside and
looks at me too a grin on her lips.
"Weed."-Her.
"Weed?"-I ask.
"I have weed and a deck of cards."-She says getting off her bed and jogs to her handbag. She retrieves a
whole black plastic bag and a box big enough for cards and rushes to my bed.
I quickly sit up and cross my legs.
"Are we even allowed to smoke in here?"-I ask watching her cut the weed like a pro.
"I doubt we are. Anyway take two rizlers out of the plastic."
I dig them out and put them on the bed as well as a lighter.
I rolled the two blunts like she taught me and put them in the mini ashtray she took out of the plastic.
Talk about being prepared.
She shuffled the cards in her hold and I quickly texted Xae goodnight. "I forgot to bring my tiny speaker
to bed."
"Where is it?"-I ask.

"In my handbag."-She says.
I go get it.
She connects it to bluetooth and starts playing her favourite song by Erykah Badu On & On.
We light our blunts and she divides the cards.
"What are we playing?"-I asks blowing out the smoke of my joint.
"Snap."-She says and I smile remembering the first time we played snap together. Almost a week after I
entered the premises of the palace. I remember I couldn't sleep that night and we played snap until I felt
sleepy.
"Still remember the rules right?"-her. I nod.
"If I put down the same number or colour of your card and 'snap' you take them and vice versa. The one
with no cards wins and has to twerk for the other."-I say and watch her puff some smoke out. It didn't
even take that long for the whole room to smell like weed.
"I was born under water with three dollars and six dimes. Yeah you might laugh 'cause you did not do
your math..."-Erykah sings.
"...like one two three. Damn y'all feel that? Oh."-Zama and I sing and shortly after share a giggle.
I put down 2 of hearts red.
She puts down a 4 of spades.
I put down a 10 of spades.
She puts down a 3 of diamonds.
I put down a 3 of spades.
"Snap!"-I yell hitting the pile on the bed.
"Cheap shot."-She mumbles and pops her joint in her mouth.
"Even if I st-..."-I started stating but get interrupted by a knock on the door. Zama lowers the volume of
the speaker.
Maybe one of the workers here can smell the weed for outside...or the music was too loud?
Even though it wasn't...
I looked at Zama as the firm knock came on again.
Crap.
We could possibly be in deep kaka and that alone made me want to ignore this knocker.
"Go open"-Zama whispers to me.
"Me!? Why me?"-I whisper back.
"Cause you're the prettiest. They wouldn't do anything to you."-her.
Is that even a valid reason?

The knock becomes firmer and louder and I sigh seeing that Ms. Xulu over here was determined to
remain on this bed.
"Fine I'll get it. But the weed is definitely yours."-I slip on my slippers and fix my short pajama bottoms.
"Who is it?"
No response.
I open the door hoping the smell doesn't rush out of here. In fact it should stay in.
Zimu!
"Tiger?"-I whisper shocked. What the heck was he doing here now?
At 22h30.
"Can I come in?"-He asks the two goons behind him stepping closer. I've never seen them before.
"No."-I say and attempt on shutting the door but a force pushes it wide open shocking me.
"What the fuck!"-Zama.
One goon shuts the door.
"Get them."-Tiger commands calmly and as wide eyed as I was right now I moved back. The same goon
that shut the door came rushing for me as I tried running to the bathroom. He grabbed me by my waist
lifting me up a little and I reached for my bedside lamp. I tried hitting him to no damn success. What the
fuck!
Zama's yell became muffled and soon inaudible. I looked at her getting cuffed as I was carried to Tebogo
who had a syringe in his hand. I wasn't even screaming anymore because of fear.
it did that to me.

I was shaking...just like that day he violated me in his office. He looked at me with those same eyes too.
Eyes of being in charge...eyes of no remorse.
"Carry that one the car Saturn I have a quick short date with this one."-he said standing in front of me.
They leave carrying her bridal style. It even looked like they were a normal couple and she fell asleep in
his arms...
"Azi baby wena lenna ra-... (you and I we-...)"-He starts off but I spit on him and he returns that with a
hot slap on my cheek. Provoked I started kicking.
"Bobo! Tame this hoe!"-Tiger. Before I even know it I feel the most painful electric shock of my life
attacking the side of my torso. It leaves me weak. "Good now you won't feel this...but I'll see you when
you wake up my Azi."-He says reaching for my hand turns it to my wrist and I watch weakly as the
injection went in. The liquid being pumped into my blood system.
"Sleep now Azi..sleep..."
My eyelids feel heavy and the drug wins. My hearing fades and velvety red masks me...
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
14
Chapter 14
I open my eyes and they burn.

The heaviness and tiredness of my body brings back the whole image of Tiger and those two goons that
came into our room.
I panic unable to move my body. I couldn't even move my fingers not even my toes. I tried turning my
head but that fails too. I feel like crying but that's not me I don't cry. I hear the door opening and his
cheap cologne fills my nostrils.
"Ah she's awake...how did you sleep sweety? Dreamt about yours truly?"-I hear Tiger ask and comes
closer. Cheap chains clinging as he leaned forward. He chewed his gum like he always did as if it was the
last day on earth.
I watched him spread his hands and lift me up all the time I tried moving my numb body. "I can't wait to
finally have you Azi."-he says placing me on a seat. He makes me sit properly before my head falls to the
side and I see a window. We're in the air...which means we're in a fucken plane.
Where's Zama...and of course everyone else?
Tiger turn my head and I come face to face with him and his sly smirk.
"You are so beautiful Azania. I just want to...to kiss your beautiful...soft...lips..."-He came close and
eventually forcefully laid his lips on mine. I was gagging inside and I desperately wanted to push him off
me but whatever drug he used on me restricted me from moving. All I could do was wait until he had
enough and stop this.
Deep down I also felt like this would also be his winning ticked to getting between my thighs.
I already knew that he was probably never letting me go.
The tears pooled up unwillingly in my eyes and I knew they were falling freely down my cheeks. Tiger
was my father all over again and I feared he would probably hit me like he did and leave my body
bruised beyond anything.
Oh Xavier...!
I'll probably never see him ever again if this man sells me off to someone. He might even kill me
and...and...I choke as the lump in my throat makes itself known he evidently pulls out of the kiss. His lips
moist with our saliva.
He smirks and licks his lips dry. "Best kiss ever...you even cried."-he chuckles standing upright his hands
firmly on my cheeks guiding my head up with him.
"The drug will wear off probably after we land. I'm even sure you're wondering where your friend is."-He
says and I just weakly looked at him. "Well..."-he turns my head making me face another side and there
she lay next to Celia.
Both still out.
My fingers twitch.
"Every single bitch from that palace is here and you guys are going to do something for your Tiger that
will make him very very rich."-He narrates and my insides cringe. He turns my head to face him again.
"And then...my sweet innocent Azi we'll run away together and be happy without any of these other
skanks here. No Zinhle no Zama and definitely not that pathetic boyfriend of yours."
I feel him peck my lips before my head drops weakly and watch how he fastens my seat belt. "Don't
want any problems when we land."-He says and tilts my head to the side. I watch as he walks away.
When we landed I started having some feeling in my legs and my fingers. I could also turn my head but
everything felt completely useless. I even felt cheap and used already...
Guards fill the private jet and lift us out individually. I notice one of them from...uhmm...from when we
were back at the hotel. Zama was also awake but like me she was weak as ever. The goon walks with me
all the way to a private van and shoves me onto a seat. "Aye aye! Be fucken gentle with this one! Dumb
fuck."-Tiger warns pushing him away from me and places me properly on these leather seats.
I don't really know for how much longer we were on the road for but it was getting dark. A large
stainless steel garage opens by itself and I watch as we drive into the empty space. The van halt near a
tiny door and the engine stays on.
"Right. Take them to their rooms. Hurt them and I hurt you. Am I clear?"-Tiger.
"Yes sir."-the goons answer him and the van's door is slid wide open. More goons appear.
We've been quiet the whole route to here -wherever it is- but now I start hearing whimpers as one by
one they get carried out of here to their rooms I assume since Tiger said so. Another goon comes and
takes me out of the van and I wished to punch him but his punches would probably rearrange my whole
face.
After we walk through the door I saw earlier he walks with me still in his tough hold down a passage. A
long God given passage and our first left turn takes place minutes later of walking. The clicking of these
men's shoes are unsettling and so are the cries.
I see Zama.
The guard carrying her stopped to unlock the door as we walked past them.
Heartache.
I'm sure she saw the fright and panic I had in me.
After this goon unlocks my door he kicks it open and walks in. The light is switched on. Moments later
I'm thrown onto a bed that feels hard as ever. "This is your new room. No Windows for you bitches to
escape. Just an air con. You have a shower in here a few toiletries and a few clothes.
"Ple-..."
"Shut up or I'll slap you. The boss should come and see you later. "-He says and walks away after cuting
me off. I hear the door shutting and locking before multiple footsteps walk off. This was planned ages
ago I see...and by someone with sense.
I slowly rolled off the uncomfortable bed and tried getting on my own two feet but they felt weak and
wobbly by the knees. I held on the bed for balance for a moment trying to lower this feeling in my legs
and when it felt a tad better I made my way to one of the walls in here.
I tried to feel for anything.
It may sound stupid but I was even searching for a hidden compartment that probably opened a secret
door of some sort but there was nothing.
Just rough bricks an ugly shower a toileta few clothes and toiletries and lastly a camera in the far corner
of this room. A red light blinked every now and then from it.
I sighed heavily and slowly made my way back to the bed. I rolled myself back on it and stared at the
ceiling.
Maybe this was fate all over again.
Maybe this was just how my life was designed to be.
I wanted to cry so bad and loudly but I tamed myself.
I wanted to keep myself strong and hope that maybe just maybe this is not the end of Azania.
Cold water splashes on my face waking me immediately. My upper body shoots up and so do my eyes.
They meet with Tiger who's holding an empty bucket.
"Vuka. (Wake up)"-He says calmly while I wiped some of the water off my face.
Why wouldn't he wake me up like a normal person would.
"Time to eat."-He says and I'm still frozen. He widens his eyes putting down the bucket. I on the other
hand get off the bed.
My head and back aching.
"Go change."
I breathe out and make my way to the area where I saw all those clothes earlier. All of them are short
and revealing and not my style at all. I eye him as he just stood near his bucket arms folded.
He clearly wasn't going away was he?
I pick a vivid red dress that is just going to reach underneath my butt cheeks.
I peel off my wet pajama top and bottoms off my body...the ones I had worn back at the hotel.
He's watching.
I feel his eyes harassing my whole body and that made me put my clothes on even faster. When I turned
around he was seated at the edge of the bed. "There are shoes in that black plastic over there."-He says.
I don't even want shoes. I don't want this dress. I don't want to be here in the middle of nowhere.
I dig in the plastic bag and find a pair of new golden block heels which kinda looked like the ones I
owned...but here they looked distasteful. Since I didn't want to put in any effort in any of this I put them
on.
"Remove that thing from your head."-Tiger.
My poor doek. I remove it and my uncut short hair gets exposed. "Fix that."
"Wi...with what?"-I ask my voice sounding raw. It's only now that I notice I haven't spoken that much
thus far.
"We gave you toiletries didn't we?"-He asks and I cringe.
In the tiny toiletry bag I find the comb and other things like Roll on perfume tooth paste a toothbrush
and a box of tampons. This is disturbing.
There's nothing sharp in here!

I comb my hair and he forces me to use the perfume.
It doesn't even smell nice.
"Lets go."-he stands reaching around his back and his hand comes back holding a gun. I watch as he
checks and confirm that it's fully loaded with ammunition.
"I said let's go."-the firmness in his voice causes my feet to move forward. I'm scared as I lead the way
until I reach the door.
He unlocks and points the gun at me. "Try anything stupid I will blow your brains out Azania a
toothbrush and a box of tampons. This is disturbing.
There's nothing sharp in here!
I comb my hair and he forces me to use the perfume.

It doesn't even smell nice.
"Lets go."-he stands reaching around his back and his hand comes back holding a gun. I watch as he
checks and confirm that it's fully loaded with ammunition.
"I said let's go."-the firmness in his voice causes my feet to move forward. I'm scared as I lead the way
until I reach the door.
He unlocks and points the gun at me. "Try anything stupid I will blow your brains out Azania no jokes."-
him.
I'm not even controlling my own breathing right now. "Am I clear?"-He asks.
I nod.
"Say it Azania."
"Ye...yes."
"Good now out."-He indicates with the gun that I should walk out. I do walking down that long ass
passage.
Zinhle.
She's also forced out with a gun pointed at her. Seems like everyone is in skimpy clothes...
"In here."-Tiger says and I turn to an open door. There everyone stood in line. I scan the whole room.
Zama.
Celia.
Naomi
Lahifa.
Zinhle.
Rendani.
Trish.
Amanda.
Hanna.
Nonthando.
Nomvelo. I'm shocked she's even here since Tiger is her so called boyfriend.
The room is dirty and smells like a damp cloth. There are chairs around a large dining table. The chairs
are plain wooden chairs that look like they were bought in a hurry. The walls were cracking and the roof
had tiny holes here and there. My eyes then landed on a table piled with what looked like condoms with
white stuff in them.
No.
"Join the line."-Tiger says somehow gently pushing me forward. I walk to stand next to Nomvelo who
looks at me like I was the devil himself.
"Right...boys seems like they're all here. Bring out the soup."-They nod and walk off to a door and the
one who went in first comes out holding a bowl with a spoon.
The rest as well.

Each of them bring a bowl to us and I immediately want to vomit.
"Eat up. We still have a lot do."-Tiger.
The bowl is in my hands but I just can't bring myself to eat it. I eye Nomvelo as she started downing the
soup. Her slurping made me even more nauseous.
"Eat up Azania!"-Tebogo commands. My eyes fall on the soup once again and I reach for the spoon. The
tiny chunks of whatever this soup could consist of had me wondering who made this ...and when.
The first tasteless oily spoonful makes me gag.
"You throw up you'll clean it with your tongue."-The one goon says. Saturn I think.
They even share a laugh at that lame and stupid sentence.
I close my eyes and force the soup down my throat. Trying not to taste it until the bowl was empty. The
last bit stayed in my mouth but I forced it down as well. I feel terrible. I feel sick. I feel like this could've
all been my fault. Maybe if I never mentioned my quiting to Tebogo we wouldn't be in whatever this is.
Maybe...
"Right. Now I'm sure your throats are nice and lubricated. I'm also sure the dicks y'all have been sucking
for the past years has made your throats wide enough."-he chuckles. The bowls are taken away.
"Bring them here."-He orders and we're pushed forward until we're at the table. "Nou luister julle
fokken dinge hier is die snowflakes. Julle sluk en sluk met 'n bietjie heuning hoor julle? Elkeen moet 80
sluk anders gaan ons 'n probleem hê. Ek hoop almal verstaan. As ek terug kom moet julle klaar wees hier
sodat ons kan ry. (Now listen here you fucken things these are snowflakes. You swallow with a bit of
honey coating it you hear? Each of you has to swallow about 80 otherwise we'll have a problem. I hope
everyone understands. When I come back you must be finished so that we can go.)"-He says pulling a
phone out of the pockets of his jeans and walks off leaving us with this task.
"Start."-One of the goons push Rendani and she reaches for a condom. Her shaky hands manage to dip it
in the honey and she hesitantly bring it to her mouth. I watch how she swallows hard on her spit before
slowly opening her mouth and it dissappears. Her mouth stays bloated.
"Swallow! "-Saturn roars startling me.
She does. She gags but she doesn't dare to let it out. She breathes out after that difficult swallow and
cries out.
"And why the fuck are the rest of you just standing there like you don't know what to do?! Start
swallowing! "
"I no dey do dis na. (I can't do this.)"-Naomi.
"What?"-The goon pulls on her braids causing her to yell.
"Wait na I dey joke please na! (I'm joking)"-She pleads and he lets her go.
Sheesh.
The first one refused to go down as I expected but I'm thankful it did. It fells like something is stuck in
my throat and I need water to down it.
Thirty...
Forty...
I officially hate honey.
Fifty...
I'm counting to keep myself sane cause this is crap.
Sixty...
They might all come up now cause I feel them all. I feel like I need to sit. I need to...to die. The pain I felt
in me was too much. They gave Nomvelo anesthetic to make it possible for her to swallow them all with
less effort.
Zimu.
Seventy...
Seventy one...
Seventy four...
These last six stare at me and I stare back. Feeling nothing but hate for everything around me.
Seventy eight...
Seventy-fucking-nine...
...Eighty...
I nearly fall back. I looked at the others and only Zama Celia Nonthando and Hanna had a few left on
their trays. "Hurry up!"-Saturn who had been breathing down our necks shouts.
The door opens and Tiger walks in. "Give us 2 hours Teanet Notorious' goods will be there."-He hangs up
from the call and shoves his phone into his pockets. "I hope everyone is done."
"İt's just these two hoes boss."-Loudmouth Saturn says.
"Zama? Hanna?"-Tiger.
Saturn nods.
"I I can't swallow anymore."-Hanna cries out and Tiger's gun is out to play once again.
Deep whimpers.
"What did you say?"-Him.
"I...I..."-Her voice cracks and she breaks.
"You two are pissing me off! The snowflakes have to be on the way! Swallow that shit or I'll pull this
fucken trigger!"-He orders and I feel chills go down my spine. I can't allow him to kill my best friend. I
refuse.
I quickly make my way to her and looked at the last 8 on her tray. I take one cover it in honey and pop it
into my mouth and it goes down.
We share them in half and I officially had 84 stuffed condoms in my system.
Tiger didn't say shit and I'm glad. Hanna got help from Zinhle and Trish.
"Isn't this sweet? Hoes sharing condoms like it's Thanksgiving or Christmas. Right boys na die kar toe. (To
the car.)"-Tiger.
Our drive to wherever was quiet. I couldn't even talk to Zama. It was all the nerves and the feeling of not
knowing what was going to happen next that caused this. All we managed to do was hold each other's
hands and hope that we would get out of this together.
This van didn't have windows which meant looking outside was almost impossible. But we knew it was
during the daytime.
We suddenly came to a complete halt before the goon who was driving came out and opened the door.
Cops.
"Good day madams could you step out of the vehicle for a moment."
Crap.
The look Tiger gives us!
I'm the second last one to step out followed by Zama.
"Where are you headed?"-The cop asks.
I want to vomit right there and then and somaar end all this crap...
"These fine ladies are on their way to a party."-Tiger lies.

"Is that so?"-one of the Cops asks.
"Yes."-Nomvelo blurts.
I'm not the only one who looks at her at that very moment.
"I see. Can I check around?"
"Sure go wild."-Tiger says with the fakest smile ever on his face.
The cop nods and walks around the van.
So this is why he didn't just put them in a bag and shove it into the boot?
"I'll kill you all if you fuck this up."-He says lowly through gritted teeth before walking a mere distance
away from us and sets a cigar alight.
"Okay looks fine you ladies enjoy yourselfs then."-the cop says.
"We will sir."-Nomvelo.

What the utter bull?
We climb back into the van and Tiger joins us moments later. The drive continues.
---
"Out."-Tiger. The van's door is wide open and we get out. A medium sized man stood at a distance. Two
bulldogs next to him. He was wearing a white vest which exposed his tattoo covered arms and chest. He
had a well groomed beard and no hair on his head.
"Well well well...what do we have here?"-the baldie says. "Tiger I didn't think you would pull it off
mane."
"Never doubt me Teanet."
They shake hands as we're directed inside.

Another man. This one looks well groomed as well. Light skin thick beard bushy eyebrows neat haircut
and brightly dark eyes.
"Nathi your boy pulled through!"-Baldie says.
I need release.
"I'll go get the release juice."-baldie.
"Notorious."-Tiger says and this Nathi guy nods.
"I'm impressed boy welcome to the game."
"It was no sweat boss."-Tiger.
"Here's the laxative."-Baldie utters when he comes back.
Zama holds my hand...

SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
15
Chapter 15
I wonder whose nasty job it is to clean and unwrap these nasty things. Just doing my business in a bowl
wasn't my cup of gin. I had to toughen up cause I feared them popping in my stomach even though that
wouldn't exactly be that bad at this very moment. I kind of regretted not taking the laxative since I knew
I wouldn't be able to drink it. Yes I'm a coward for medication... and laxatives.
A masked man came in and took the bowl and left. I wiped myself and walked out of here with a painful
anus.
Outside my door were those irritating goons. I wanted to ask where my friend was but I kept my mouth
shut.
"Move."-one of them orders.
To where?
I turned left and they didn't stop me. I tried ignoring my aching body until I made it back to where this
Nathi guy was seated on a chair. Hanna was also here.
"Listen Sha...Mmasechaba I'm busy and I told you not to call me!"-He said angrily as I unwillingly listened
to his phone call. His fists clenched tightly and he hit his desk giving me a mini fright.
"Why the fuck are we doing this now?...Because I left?...Stop blaming Khanyi for what you're lacking!..."-
He roars getting up from his chair. The vain on his forehead screaming as he walked around the desk he
abused seconds ago.
"Don't tell me shit Shabba!"-him.
Shabba?
That name made the hairs on my neck stand at attention but I doubted this would have a connection
with the girl I painted. The girl I took fault for. The girl whose uncle lusted for her and somehow ended
up in my presence and thighs. Nathi made his way to us as he listened to what the person on the other
end of the line said.
"I'll be back in 2 days and when I come back there I want you out!"-He clicks his tongue and removes the
phone from his ear.
Zama and Lahifa walk back in.
Tiger appears at the entrance smoking on a cigar basking in his success. I avert my eyes from him when
Nomvelo catwalks in. She's acting as if her anus isn't on fire even though I knew it was. She came to a
halt next to me and frowned. "What are you looking at?"-her voice filled with attitude.
"Oh...nothing."-I looked ahead as Nathi came closer to me.

"Some bitches don't fucken deserve shit."-he mumbles standing in front of me. I looked down and
swallowed hard when he lifted his hand resting the fingertips on my jawline.
"...and what is your name?"-he asked and words failed me. My lips were glued shut as he traced along
my jawline and stopped at my chin lifting my head with his fingers.
He chuckles. " Tiger!"
"Boss?"-he responds putting out the cigar in his hold.
"Is this one deaf or something?"
"Absolutely not sir in fact she's a blabbermouth that one."-Tebogo says chuckling as well.
"Oh? I'll ask you one more time then lady..."
Lady?
"...what is your name?"-he is such an intimidating man. He towered over me which made me even more
nervous. I quickly cleared my throat.
"Azan...Azania sir."-I reply.

Did I just call him sir?
"Hmmm...beautiful name for a beautiful lady. How much is she Tiger?"-Nathi asks and I feel my face go
pale.
What is he implying when he asks how much I am?
If this is about me having sex with him then hell no I wasn't going to do that even if they hurt me or
killed me. I promised myself and Xavier that I wouldn't be sleeping with a soul and I meant that.
"Her? She'd cost you about a good 7k boss but unfortunately she's not for sale."
"Oh?"-Nathi.
"But these other ones are."
Celia gives a mother of all gasps as she joined the line. She surely heard everything Tiger just spat.
Nathi lets go of my chin before I hear Nomvelo whine. "What the fuck Tiger what about me!?"
"Shut up."-Nathi warns.
"Am I not your girlfriend!?"
"I said shut up!"
"Instead yo-..."-Nathi stops her talking by pulling out a gun from the back of the jean he wore and points
it towards her.
"When I say shut up you fucken shut up woman. I won't hesitate to paint my walls with your blood and
use your skin for fine clothing."-he walks closer to her. " how much is she?"
"2k sir."-Tiger responds and I know Nomvelo wanted to say crap but the gun pointed at her is enough to
keep her quiet.
"I want her and another one somaar this one ."-He points and I feel shivers go down my spine. "We'll
have a threesome."
---
We sat in the car and I couldn't stop fiddeling with my fingers praying and hoping that we don't leave my
friend behind knowing that Tiger was capable of anything now. I couldn't even look out of the window
because it was bloody black. That alone made me even more anxious and eager to get out of here find
my friend and run. I don't even know where to...
The Van's door opens and immediately I felt a bit at ease when I see her instead of a goon. She comes in
and settles next to me looking hurt. "Are you okay Zama?"-She sits next to me and doesn't say a word. I
take her into my hold and she sobs softly. Im not going to push any further about this. I probably already
knew how she felt.
The ride back to that hellhole is quiet and I cant but help but think what went down in there. What was
going to happen next? Was I not going to be for sale next time as well? For how long was I going to be
here for? How long were we going to be kept here?
"Get out!"-Saturn said immediately after the door opens.
When we're all out he orders us to go to the rooms we slept in the day prior. "I hope you're smart
enough to recognise your rooms."-Saturn said sarcastically causing me to roll my eyes. Men his age have
better things to do but here he is involving himself in crime for peanuts I'm sure.
My door opens and I get in. Before closing it I look down the passage seeing about 10 goons all armed
and buff.
"Aye! Why is your bloody door still open!?"-One of them roars and immediately I shut it.
I try to open it again but the door won't budge. It's like it locked automatically.
I heave out a sigh and go to take off these skimpy clothes. I grab my pajamas that laid on the floor and
put them on. It's only then that I realise my bracelet is missing.
Where the fuck was it?
Panic. I started searching the whole room to no success. Immediately I felt like crying. That was the only
thing that made me feel as if Xavier was with me.
I threw myself on the bed and pulled the single bedsheet over my 'dead' body. My stomach growls but I
ignore it. Sleep comes harder when you're hungry but eventually I allowed it in.
"Mama."
"Azi my baby..."-her smile fades when she hears me sniff. I can't even remember the sound of her voice
properly. "... What's wrong my baby? Come here."
I walked to her wiping away the tears from my cheeks as they rolled down.
"What is wrong... Tell mama."
"Baba...he...he said he wouldn't hurt me."-I say still sobbing uncontrollably.

"Wenzani ubabakho? (What did your father do?)"
How was I going to explain something I had no knowledge of.
Innocent...
I shrug and pointed to where the burning sensation was coming from and heard her gasp. "What did he
do... D-d-did he take your skirt off?"
I nod.
Her eyes glow with tears. "An...and your panties? Did he take them off?"-she questioned and I nodded
and saw how her face turned from sadness to pure anger. She stood up putting me down and stormed
off to where Victor would be at. I'm following behind her.
" Victor how could you!"
"How could I what?"-he asked trying to act innocent.
"You raped our child Victor! Your own flesh and blood!"-I've never had her shout at me like that.
A slap on the cheek is what she gets next.
"Londiwe is this how you talk to me now?"
"You took it too far Victor."-She whispered in pain.
" She's a girl Londiwe what do you expe-..."
"You're a bloody rapist Victor!"-she chips in and another slap goes on her vulnerable cheek but this time
around it goes further. She's on the floor and he kicked her while she sobbed.
"Stop! Baba stop!"
He grabbed me and held his belt at a far end before it landed on my behind...hard...
My eyes shoot open and meet with Tebogo while he was peeling off the bedsheet from my body.
"What are you doi-..."-I say but he shuts me up by putting a hand in front of my mouth.
" shhh!"-I fight his hand off my mouth but he keeps it there pressing harder. I use my hands to fight him
off. Scratching his arm and face. My legs try kicking him by his sides looking for where it may hurt the
most but he just seems to be stronger than me. At some point I manage to get his hand off my mouth.
"Get off me Tiger! I'll stay! I won't quit anymore!"
That doesn't seem to tickle him anywhere as he punches me hard near my eye. I still taking in the fresh
pain from that heavy punch.
"Do you want me to make this harder for you Azania?!"-he asks through gritted teeth and I can't answer
him.
Zimu...
" I will shoot you..."-I feel his cold hand on my exposed thigh and just allow my tears to fall. "...Good
girl."
"I won't hurt you."-He sounds exactly like Victor his voice draped in the same hate I've developed over
the past years for him. " Look at that...beautiful."-he had already taken my shorts off.
As he still had my body on view I found myself pushing him off me and this time he did tumbles over.
"What the fuck!"-him.
I run to the door -before he even has time to get up- and try the handle. Like earlier it just wouldn't
open.
"You tiny bitch get back here!"-he roared already on his feet. Hands spread as if he was ready to pounce
on me like his prey. My back shinned against the wall as I moved with it to a table. " Can't you see you
have nowhere to go Azania!?"-he launched forward and I grabbled the small wooden table and threw it
his way. He ducked. I ran over to the next item that I could see and ended up throwing two of the heels I
wore today at him. Only one hit him. "Fucken cheap Bitch!"-he pulled his gun out corked it and shot
twice. The sound deafened my ears.
But...I felt nothing.
He missed?
I felt his hand grip my upper arm making me open my eyes. He roughly pulled me towards that rock
hard bed and pushed me to it making me land on my stomach.
Fear had me shaking.

His weight pressed hard on me and his cold rough hand firmly held my neck. I found myself begging
him...
I heard it all...
How he unhooked his belt unzipped his pants and dropped them.
How he groaned out in wicked pleasure and how he kept on telling me that I'm destined for him and
him only.
"So tight!"
"So good!"
"You're mine!"
"You are destined for me!"
---
I couldn't sleep. All I could do was sit on this bed and cry bitterly. My arms rested on my knees and it felt
like I was trying to hug myself. The very same self that I hated dearly. I wondered why I couldn't have
died years ago...probably by getting hit by a car or something.
Why couldn't my multiple teenage suicide attempts succeed? Why didn't my mother abort me when she
had a chance?
I didn't understand how this all had to happen to me. Was I the only one raped or did he start
somewhere else?
Great maybe HIV will kill me.
The door opened and I just knew it was him. I didn't even bother to look up for my sanity.
"Argh maybe HIV will kill me.
The door opened and I just knew it was him. I didn't even bother to look up for my sanity.
"Argh cheer up will you. I did you a favour."-he said closing the door. I let out a short chuckle. " We all
know you haven't had good dick in forever so I had to provide."
Good for him.
"I bought you food."
"I'm not hungry."
"Is that so?"-he chuckles and starts walking towards me. "I missed this fiery Azania to be honestly. She
always made my dick hard."
Again good for him.
"I also broke up with that boyfriend of yours on our behalf."-he says and my head shoots up. " finally got
your attention."
"You what?"-I asked my voice only managing a whisper.
"We couldn't keep his hopes up there knowing very well that after all this we'll fly off to another
continent and start afresh."-he narrated and my stomach turns. "But now he won't stop calling and I'm
this close to throwing your phone in the middle of an ocean. I don't want to do that Azania not when I
still want to see the bleached nigga squirm when I text him as you."-he says.
My phone rings and Immediately I see the name flashing on the screen.
Xae Bae.
" See. Now you're going to tell him to leave you the fuck alone. And you try something funny...you'll
know what I'm capable of."-he answers it and pastes it on my ear as my heart raced.
Silence.
"Azania."-he said and my tears started all over again. He sounded sick.
"...Hi..."-I breathed out and sniffed.
"Are you okay?"
My eyes land on Tiger. "I'm... I'm fine."
"So tell me what I read about you leaving me is not true. Tell me my eyes were deceiving me Spencer.
Tell me you were joking. Tell me you are getting on that plane tomorrow and you'll come back to
me...please."-he sniffed. That's why he sounded sick.
"I...I..."-Tiger taps me. "I'm sorry Xavier. I just can't."
"Azania..."
"Xavier I'm sorry but this won't work out. I...I..."
"Say you're in love with me."-Tiger mouths.
"You're what Azania?"-Xavier snaps irritated by what I was probably telling him.
"I found...someone else."-my voice is flat.
"Wow."-he breathed out and I saw the disappointment in his blue eyes in my mind.
"I'm sorry Xavier."
"Save it. Have fun."-he uttered before the line went dead.
That was it?
Did I just lose someone who meant so much to me that easily?
Wait I was alone again because of this smirking pig in front of me. I wanted to cry and strangle him right
there and then but my broken self just cringed in. I held in my tears.
"Wena upro shem (you're a pro shame.)"-Tiger. He removes my phone from my ear and stands. " I'm
impressed beyond anything."
He clapped. "Well let me go get some sleep. You should probably do the same baby cakes."
"Where's my bracelet?"-I questioned when he was about to close the door.
"Huh?"
"My bracelet. Where is it?"-me. The anger in my voice.
"Ah calm down this cheap thing? Here."-he throws it my way and it lands on the bed. " Took it to check
if there were no trackers in it...or on it."
I quickly took it into my hand and it still looked the same. The door shut giving me minimal privacy. I still
had a camera harassing me but I cared less.
I slip it on my wrist and watched how it changed from black to orange and then purple. What confused
me next was how it became a mixture of orange and purple.
Sheesh it must be broken.
------------------------------------------------------
We sat around that hideous dinner table having one of his bribery meals. Pizza and a flavoured drink.
Mine was ginger flavoured. I honestly missed the palace because unlike here there we had freedom.
Here I've been facing the same walls the same people the same rules for 3 straight months. 3 months of
torture and heartache. My health was also going against me and I blamed that on the food that we kept
on getting here.
Just this pizza we're shoving down our throats was rare and on a normal day we'd be served bread with
water or milk. If no one was disrespectful we'd get a single fried egg but that was it. And then there
would be that horrendous oily soup.
"Friend."
"Mfazi."-I turned to look at her as she swallowed the piece of her pizza slice.
"You okay?"
"Of course why wouldn't I be?"-I down the flavoured drink avoiding her piercing look.
" Mfazi I don't think you're okay."-She scans my body making me feel uncomfortable. Don't tell me she
saw right through me. "You know we're still friends and we're still together...we're not dead like
Nontando."-she says and I put the empty glass on the table before letting out a mother of all sighs.
Nontando got shot by Tiger right in front of our eyes just for vomiting her share of stuffed condoms. I
didn't talk to her that much but I knew her and that's what hurt the most.
"I just want out of all this I'm tired emotionally and physically Zama. I just wish there could be a way I
can get ahold of that thing's gun and...and end him."-I whisper the last part.
"What then? How will we get out of here with all these goons around?"-she asks and I shrug.
" Well he has that phone he always uses in my room maybe I can use it to call Nqoba..."-I quiet down
frowning. "I don't even know his number. In fact I don't even remember needing it...until now."-I sigh
knowing that this plan has failed before it even began. It also felt like Nqoba didn't really care about us.
I've established that this was planned way before the last monthly meeting we had with Mrs Zwane.
Tiger knew she would consider it and end up begging her husband to allow this trip. Nqoba is not a part
of this. Me mentioning the fact that I was quiting only triggered his plans to happen faster. That's what
he told me.
" I can probably get them from...someone here."-Zama said.
"Who?"-I frowned and bit on the last slice of pizza generously.
She motions with her head towards Nomvelo.
" Haibo Mfazi her?"
"Yeah...think about it she's been Tiger's ride or die and I'm sure she managed to spot his number on
certain occasions."
"Spot? Not cram?"
"Azania..."
"Okay okay. Fine you can try. "-I say and bite again on my pizza.
Looking around the table I see the misery on everyone's faces especially on Hannas' who was closer to
Nonthando than the rest of us. No one talked back and no one disobeyed since that day. Zinhle has even
stopped her attitude and became normal for once in her life. Nomvelo...well she still disliked me for
taking a man I didn't want at all.
"Time for bed!"-One of the goons yelled the moment they walked in and you should've seen how quickly
we evacuated that lounge area. There's a lady who comes and cleans here so she's handles all the dirty
cups.
"I'll see you."-I whisper to Zama and she nods spreading her arms wide enough for me to step in them.
" You're the best. We'll talk."-her voice is tender and low near my ear.
"That's enough!"-Saturn said placing his huge hands on my shoulders and roughly pulls me out of my
hug with Zama. "This is not your homes la (here) to your rooms bitches."
"You don't have to be rude you know."-Zama mumbled loud enough for me to hear.
I swear I wanted to chuckle. She hasn't changed.
"What did you say?"-Mr goon asked her letting my shoulders go.
"Me? I said you don't have to be rude."-Zama. " Now I'll go bye friend."-I watched her turn to walk away
leaving me behind before Saturn could say anything to her.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
16
Chapter 16
♡
♡
I woke up alone and thanked the gods of hoeville for not bringing that man in here when I was asleep.
He usually does that and interrupts my 'peaceful' sleep. I hated it and him and also this thing that was
growing in me. I wasn't stupid but the moment I remembered that it had been months since I actually
went to get the injection I wanted to slap and myself. I guess it's because my period never actualy came
back.
Or...maybe I was stupid for even thinking I'd remain invincibly-not-pregnant and not remove my womb
like Nomvelo and Mrs Zinhle-hoe-of-the-month. They were smart. Unlike me. The cheap stupid careless
loudmouth victim.
I was and am always wrong it seems and one of my biggest wrongs was thinking that I would leave the
hoelife and give love a chance.
I got up and made the bed at my own pace. When I was done I made my way to the shower. This shower
has never had hot water and it was something I never got used to. As the cold water hit my exposed skin
I thought of what Zama said. If she succeeds I doubt I'd be able to get the gun from Tiger and shoot.
Again what if I took it and end up looking like a fool that pointed an empty gun at him.
I heave out a sigh and close the shower tap before opening the glass door and stepping out. The towel is
quickly in my hold and I start drying my cold body.
"Waja Tebogo (You eat Tebogo)"-the pig startles me.
I spoke too soon didn't I?
I didn't even hear him get in here.
"Morning baby cakes how's my baby boy doing today?"- He asks with a smirk on his lips.
Ignoring him completely I reach for the lotion in the toiletry bag and start massaging it on my body.
"We should go for a scan sometime during this week."
"I'm not pregnant!"-I snap earning a chuckle from him. I thought that maybe just maybe if I said it I
would believe it and just wake up from this nightmare. But that didn't happen. In fact I believed it more
now.
"We both know you are. I may be a man but I can see the signs. I'm sure you can also see how tender
and bigger your breasts are now. Heck I'm not even going to mention the fact that you don't spray that
perfume I bought you because you hated the smell. May I add that abo (the) Ramafoko's don't shoot
blanks and you are proof baby cakes. That baby boy of mine is going to be strong and handsome like his
father."-he says and I listen.
I felt weak.
I looked in the long mirror that I got not less than a month ago and see the mini grow of my stomach.
My actual boobs have changed too.
All of what he said confirmed with just one look.
"I think we'll name him...Moses."-he chuckles. " No...No I'm sure you think it sounds too old for our
baby. How about Ditebogo? Or Thapelo? Or maybe Molemo? Yeah Molemo Ramafoko."-he says
motioning to the sky.
He reaches to his side to a box that laid there gracefully. He opened it before speaking. "Mama Molemo
I bought you this."
A green cocktail dress. Green was not my colour. "You like?"-he asks getting up from the bed and
motioned towards me. My body tenses instantly and fear was making itself known in me.
"I...I love it."-I lie blatantly.
"Good let me leave you to change. I'll be back so you can suprise me."-he says placing the dress in my
hands pecks my cheek and leaves.
---
After the multiple stops we had on the way here we reached our destination. So many cops yet no one
can see we're caged in.
Caged in an illegal job that we didn't even get paid for. "Marvelous."-Tito said as he counted the
kilograms and kilograms of cocaine on the table after they cleaned the condoms. My throat felt sore
from all the vomiting I did since Tiger refused to give my any laxatives to help with the freeing of the
condoms. His precious baby was 'all that' I see. At this instant I probably wanted to drink that laxative
and destroy everything.
" I always deliver man."-Tiger says and holds me by my waist. "My girls are the best too especially this
one."
"She's a beauty Tiger."-Tito says clicking his fingers and two men come in to full view. "Take the snow to
the case."-the two men nod and take the drugs packing them away.
"She's also pregnant."-Tiger beams and I try wiggling out of his hold. He doesn't allow me.
I hear a few gasps around from the ladies who've been here.
"She's what?!"-Nomvelo.
"Sies Azania!"-that was Amanda's voice crushing me.
" Yey! Tsek nina!"-Tiger warned not turning to face them. They instantly stop their whispers.
"Congratulations you're a true and real man now."-Tito condoned Tiger's rubbish.
I sensed the pride Tiger had in him after being told that he was a real man now for raping me multiple
times and...and...yeah that.
I wanted to go back that room at least all the stares I got from there were from behind a camera.
The road back to that hellhole was tense. For the first time it wasn't sad in here but rather very hate
filled. Hate towards me.
" Bitch."-Nomvelo whisper from the seat behind mine.
"Whore."-That was Celia. I ignored them.
" So how did it feel op-..."Nomvelo started and Zama interrupted getting on her feet. This van allowed it.
"Will you cut the crap already!?"
"Crap? Crap is this abomination you call a friend. She stole my fucken man and has the nerve to open
her pathetic legs and fall pregnant in the process!"-Nomvelo dishes and I was honestly taken aback by
how that actually hurt.
I was losing myself and my walls were clearly not concrete anymore.
" Yeah I'm sure you didn't even know the bitch is pregnant!"-Celia added.
I hear Zama chuckle next to me turning her head slightly to me before she spoke. "For your information
bird brain I knew very well that my friend was and is pregnant but I chose not to entertain that since I
knew she would've gloated had it been planned. You stupid bitches should know by now that we're in
this hell together. We eat the same shit and shower under the same conditions and heck we even
swallow condoms with the same substance in them. So no Nomvelo according to my understanding you
aren't shit to Tebogo cause if you were you wouldn't be doing this with us. You'd be the pregn...oh I
forgot that's something you can't ever be able to do right?"-I hear her chuckle and click her tongue
turning to sit back down on her seat. I knew she still had more to say but that final statement was
probably enough to have her keep quiet until we got to that place.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Nqobazonke's POV.
"Honey...Nqobubu..."-My wife called me out of my trance. I can't believe how much everything has me
consumed like this. Ngapha I'm dealing with an idiot who still won't remember his own wife and
deceased child and then there's Tiger. Some bum I should've never hired.
"You're seriously going to ignore me like this?"-She asked pouting her adorable lips her hands firmly on
her waist.
" I'm sorry my love but you know I have so damn much on my plate."-I said watching her walk towards
me patting on her lap. I smile inside as I moved my hands from my lap and allowed her to sit there. I
can't believe after so many years of marriage she still did that when she wanted to sit on my lap.
"I...can probably make you forget just for a short while..."-she murmed and pecked my lips.
Chills went down my spine but I stopped myself from throwing her onto the bed ripping off her...wait is
she even wearing those...and fuck her senseless. "Baby."
"Mhmm?"-She pecked my lips again.
"I need to focus."-I grunt. Get off me woman I honestly can't focus!
"Can you just focus on me for a second?"
"Baby..."-I said and she huffed getting up from my lap clearly angry and stormed off to the closet.
"...come on baby you can't be angry at me for...for tellin-..."
"Are you fucking any of those hoes from that palace Nqoba?"-she chipped in so calmy it scared me.
"What?"-I was gobsmacked.
" Don't 'what' me Nqoba. You just turned down my kuku Nqoba. Ikuku lami baby! This thing between my
legs...I have to ask."-She says all in one go leaving me in our bedroom.
God bless my wife for saying such when I wasn't even expecting it.
I swear I even chuckled before walking into the closet and walked to her. My hands rested on her waist
and she sighed deeply. Okay maybe this wasn't funny.
"Am I too fat for you now Nqoba? Am I?"-she asked.
"Idrama engaka Gugu uyithathaphi? (Where do you get so much drama Gugu?) If I thought you were too
fat I would've said so."-I say and she suddenly removes my hands from her waist.
" Mxm."
"Hau baby yini manje? (What is it now?)"-I ask watching her get dressed into these skinny jeans which
always make her curves look bigger. I loved that and how it made my member want stand at attention.
" Remind me why I married you again cause I honestly forgot."-she says slipping on a black top with a
mermaid thingy almost underneath her boobs.
"Because of the unconditional love you have for me."
She chuckles reaching for her black stilettos and throws them on the ground before slipping in her foot. I
kneel down before she actually could and tie her straps for her.
"Oh my gosh you really do think I'm too fat now Nqoba don't you?"
"Baby no marn!"-I shout half irritated with this sudden I'm-too-fat talk.
" I should've known that all that feeding me and pampering me was all you malicious plan. "-she says
poking my chest multiple times.
Is this still about the kuku or is there something I'm missing here?
" How skinny is she Nqoba? I knew you'd cheat on me I just didn't expect it to be this soon. Oh my gosh
was she go-..."-I shut her up by grabbing the back of her neck and kiss her
Iips ignoring the murmuring she did in the kiss cause I knew she'd eventually stop...and she did. I
grabbed her ass and squeezed making her moan instantly.
I eventually pull out from the kiss and rest my forehead on hers. I open my eyes while she kept hers
closed. "Baby. Zikode wami..."-She smiled. Eyes still closed. "...I love you. You're the sexist being I've
ever met and I can declare right here and now that I love your body the way it is. From below this..."-I
squeeze her ass once again making her giggle.
" Nqoba!"
"...to here."-I touch her head and kiss her forehead. She finally opens her eyes and they twinkle. " I love
you Gugulam. Yes I'll admit my eye has wandered but cheating on you is something I will never do to
you. I don't think I'll ever allow a third in our journey unless that third is our baby. Forgive
me...please...pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?"
"Ha.a you're starting to sound gay now."
I chuckle and bring her even closer to me. "Gay people don't eat ikuku baby."
"Fair point... I have to go see Khanyi. She's still a mess."-She says and I nod. " I'll see you when I get
back."
"Want Rusev to-..."
"Nooooo...baby I can drive myself thank you very much."
"Mxm."-I let her go while she laughs.
"You're such a crybaby Nqoba...My Nqobubu."-she grabs her handbag from the bed.
"Leave woman!"-I joke amd she laughs even louder before heading out of the bedroom leaving me with
my demons.
I can't help but sigh before pulling out my phone and dialing Tsiietsi.
"Nqoba."
"Sho Mfwethu...uhmm I know it's still chaotic and all that but can you arrange a meeting in an hour at
HQ."-I say.
" What about Skin?"
"Leave him he's not in the right frame of mind for this job."
"Okay consider it done."

I hang up and quickly go take a shower and change into a comfortable tracksuit and kicks. I drive out of
here nearly 30 minutes later and get to HQ 26 minutes later.
"Lundi said he's gonna be running late."-T informed me as I sat down at my seat. I nod before
absentmindedly looking at Hlelo's empty seat. It did feel awkward without him being here but the show
had to go on.
" I was thinking we attempt a heist."-Owen said pasting himself on Hlelo's seat.
"A heist?"-Tsiietsi asked and Owen nodded.
"Yeah you know extra cash for the side could always come in handy one time."-He narrates.
"You're crazy we don't do that anymore."-I say folding my arms in front of my chest.
" Who's to say we can't start again? Come on we can make millions by the time we're done with them."-
Owen says and I chuckle.
I can't believe my brain is even considering this especially since I already had millions in my back.
Lundi walked in looking like he was chased in. "Uxolo bafwethu for uba late (Sorry dudes for being
late)"-he sat on his seat and Immediately I saw him frown. "And then? Kwenzeka ntoni apha (What's
happening here?)"
I shrug. I also had no idea.
"I'll be replacing Hlelo while he's... Uhmm...while he's still doing whatever he's doing right now."-Owen
said and Lundi is the one who chuckled at that.
" This I want to see. Anyway Nqoba what was so important that I had to leave in a hurry from my place?"
"Right."-I sat upright before resting my hands on the huge meeting table.
T sits down laptop in front of him.
" Well shit went down and my girls are missing."
"Igirls ziphi? (Which girls?)"-Lundi.
"The ones at my palace man. The ones who I allowed to go to Dubai."
"Ohhh...they are missing? How?"-Lundi.
"Tebogo hasn't been answering my phone calls and the only thing I received was a bloody SMS telling
me that I'll never see him again or the girls."-I tell looking at all these men.
"You still have the SMS?"-T asks and I nod.
"Affirmative."- I dig my phone out of my pocket and hand it to him before he could ask any further.
" Great... I could probably see where he was when he sent this."
"Basically his location?"-Owen questioned.
" I thought my smart talk confused you idiots."-He chuckles connecting my phone to his PC. "But yes his
location."
"Anything yet?"-Lundi asked.
"Patience Ta. "- I listen to how fast he types on his laptop.
Doing what he does best.
"Aha!"-he exclaims after minutes of working.
"What?"-Owen.
"What is it?"-I asked getting up from my seat.

" I...found...the...location of where this message was sent from."
"Tell us!"-Lundi and I say simultaneously.
" Okay okay...it's somewhere in...Iraq.-T says and I sigh.
"Can't you do your thing and find out where exactly they are?"
"Unfortunately not..."
"Fuck me! How else are we going to find them!"-my fists collide with the table. " Think Nqoba think."
"We could fly to Iraq and take it from there."-Lundi suggests and I frown.
"What exactly will I tell Gugu?"
"Not my wife not my problem. But I'm just saying right now Iraq is the only lead we have so far. Maybe if
you try calling lantwana with that number since it does ring right...?"
I nod.
"...yeah T can trace it and when he does answer your call we'll be closer. Ready to attack."-Lundi says
and folds his arms sitting back on his chair.
" Sounds like the only option we got right now."-T says.
"Thank you."-Lundi gloats chuckling.
"Okay so...we're going to Iraq. We'll need Melo on this too then entlek why wasn't he called?"-I question
and the whole table is quiet.
Oh. That.
" I'll call him myself then and see if he's cool with coming along...I'm sure it would do him wonders."-I
say.
---
I walked out of the empty palace feeling defeated. These people were really gone and right now coming
here made it even more of a reality. I had to find them. All 12 of them.
"Sir there's someone here to see you."-Rusev told me still standing outside where I left him.
I look up and nearly frown at the stranger in front of me. "Sure. Lock up for me then."-I hand him the
keys before walking to the man.
" Yes?"
"So you're the owner of this evil place?"-he questioned me and that's when I officially frowned again.
"Who's asking?"
He chuckles before becoming serious once again. "I don't think that matters but what I can say is that
this place doesn't deserve to stay open."
"Oh? "
"Treating women like pawns making them lose their value and confidence while you bask in your sick
money! Are you even a man!"
"Sir I'm going to as-..."-Rusev attempts on attacking this stranger but I stop him with my arm.
"Rusev I'll handle this."-he backs off. " I don't even know who you are or what you want here but what
happens on this private property honestly has zilch to do with you. I was actually here to see the
condition of this place so I could close it down and sell it. I never ever forced anyone to work here nor
condoned their rights to be violated. These women when they return will become jobless...just like you
want okay? Now please remove yourself from my premises before I ask my men to remove you
forcefully."-I tell him in the calmest way I possibly could.
I watched him fix his jacket before turning to walk off. He didn't even bother to explain what his anger
was all about. I knew he had to be angry especially since this probably ran deeper than me running a
brothel in the middle of a civilised neighborhood.
"Let's go Rusev."
---
I found her sleeping on the sofa with a bowl of snacks in her hold. I shook my head slowly smiling to
myself before removing the bowl from her hold. I switched off the TV and placed the remote control on
the coffee table.
I held her in my arms firmly as I headed upstairs. Gently I laid her on the bed careful not to wake her up.
Success!
I turn to go lock our bedroom door and the moment I turned back she was wide awake.
"Ah."-I mumbled to myself. So much for that succeeding.

"I was waiting for you."-She mumbled her voice still sleepy.
"I got held up at work."-I tell her taking off my tshirt.
"Oh...? come here."
I chuckle. "No You come here."
"Husband you still owe me for earlier. So you come here."-she says.
"Give me a reason why I should could come to you Gugulam."-I utter folding my tshirt and walk to go
put it on the laundry basket.
"Why don't you just turn around and see the reason for yourself?"-She suggests and I'm grinning already
before I actually turn around. Thighs spread and her exposed breasts are out to play. I'm already
drooling and rock hard before I actually remove my pants and boxers in one go...
She lay on top of me catching her breath. "That...that was needed."-She breathed out while I just ran my
hand on her back. I was out of breath too the ecstasy had long worn off and now the reality laid in front
of me like a dead body. " You were a beast today my love...I'd say lets go again but..."-her head turns
and she looks at me.
Instantly I see her frown. "Yini (What) baby? Is something wrong?"
"I..."
"Nqoba. Talk."
Shit.
"I'm going to Iraq."-I say and watch for her reaction.
"Iraq? What the fuck for?"-she's not even shouting and that always freaks me out with her. "Nqoba
you're not even going to ask me for permission?"
"Baby."
She clicks her tongue and gets off me and the bed. "For how long?"
"A month...max."- I answer.
" A month? Nqoba a month?!"-She finally yells this time around causing me to get off the bed as well.
"Is this for the girls?"
"Yes...Gugu please don't get angry about this you know I have to find these girls and clear my
consciousness. The only lead we have is this Iraq place and further than that we have nothing."
"A month though Nqoba?"-she repeated in a low voice. I knew that wasn't what bothered her the most
but the fact that 1134-G is going to be doing shit again for until God knows when.
She continued to the bathroom leaving me alone to...to feel her concern.
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Azania's POV
" T...i..gger I ...can't... Br...e...ath"-I tried saying as I watched his angry self in front of me. His hand
pressed hard on my neck sucking the life out of me.
"How dare you give her what I gave you! Huh!?"
"Pl...ea..s!"-I pleaded.
"Azania! You're pissing me off!"-he squeezes one more time before letting me go and I sink to the
ground. Coughing like crazy. My throat was raw and fresh with pain. I even ignored my aching jaw that
earned a punch before I was strangled.
Strangled for giving Zama the chocolate he bought me.

" You're lucky you're carrying my child otherwise you'd be dead."-He said before he walked out of here
slamming the door hard behind him.
After regaining my strength I forced myself up and slowly made my way to the toilet area. I couldn't
even pee. All I could think about was how I wanted to end my own life...
I wanted to free myself from all this hurt...
I stood in front of the mirror and just saw this hideous face staring back at me. A version of myself that
I've seen before. My jaw was slowly but surely changing colour where he punched me.
This dress! I wanted to destroy it! I quickly removed it from my body and stuffed it into a ball in my
hands.
Argh why am I even crying this time around?

I shove the dress in the toilet watching it suck up the toilet water before taking the shoes that I had on
off and threw them far from me still blinded by my own tears.
I hear the mirror break.
"Crap!"-I mumble to myself as I looked at the broken mirror pieces on the floor. Nice and sharp pieces
laid on the floor.
I kneeled down and reached for a piece.
I held it to my wrists ...
Pressing it hard on my fragile flesh.
Slowly I maneuvered it on my skin.
Blood...
The pain felt amazing and it just made me want to continue...
On my other hand...
More blood...
Less care...
I threw the mirror blade on the floor once I felt weaker. This in many ways felt better. I sat on my behind
on the cold floor resting my back on the rough bricked wall. I allow my heavy eyelids to close and allow
myself to drift off...
The world will have to forgive me.

SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
17
Chapter 17
"Mrs Ramafoko...Mrs Ramafoko..."-a voice called me out. I could hear her but my eyes felt glued. " She's
coming back to us...hang in there Mrs..."
---------------------------------------------------------
There's an annoying beep-beep sound that keeps on making itself known in here. It felt like it was an
alarm and I was determined to switch it off. I opened my eyes and instantly regretted doing that since
the bright light made me squint my eyes a little until I adjusted to it.
Where the heck am I?
Zimu...I'm connected to a drip and the beeping sound is from this machine next to me. I was at a
hospital...?
I remembered how I broke a mirror and then used the pieces to...to cut my wrists. I lifted my stiff feeling
hands and looked at the bandaged pair.
My heart sank when I realised I survived and I wondered how I got here. Did Tiger find me and bring me
here or did one of the goons?
Nonetheless they bought me here to heal so that they could torture me again didn't they? These sick
psycho's.
As I was about to get up from the bed and get myself a glass of water the door opened. Bringing me to a
halt. My body goes cold.
"So now you wanted to kill my seed? Destroy my legacy? Kill my son?"-He chuckles taking his hands out
of his pockets and claps slowly. " Wow bravo Azania bravo. I thought you'd be smarter than that...but
clearly you're just another dumb hoe with no talent-..."
"Please leave."-I say ignoring the dryness of my voice and throat.
"I'm not goi-..."
"Leave Tiger! Get out!"-I yell pressing on the panic button continuously. " Get out Tebogo!"
The door pushes open and nurses rush in. "Out! Now!"
"Sir we're going to ask you to leave please."-One of the nurses say and he gives me a cold look before
turning to leave.
When the nurse was about to close the door this pig quickly peeked back in. "I'll be back with your
favourite meal...I'm sorry my wife."-he says quickly and blows me a kiss.
The nerve of this man!
" Sir."-the nurse that spoke earlier warned Tebogo firmly. She didn't even break her eye contact with
this pig and that alone made me want to fight him back.
"Okay I'm gone."-he says. "...her hormones."-he chuckles and finally leaves shutting the door gently
behind him.
The semi silence in the room is uncomfortable and heavy on me since I knew these ladies would ask me
questions soon.
"Are you okay Mrs?"-One of the nurses askedconcern written a over her face. I just nodded ignoring the
fact that she called me Mrs.
Once again attempted to get out of this bed and get myself a glass of water.
"Woah! Wait where are you headed?"-another one asks. I look at her and instantly feel like this whole
room is crowded. Too crowded. I couldn't breathe or think.
"Water. I want water."-I say.
They -literally all of them- rush to get me a glass of water but when they return they each had different
things in their hold.
" I'm nurse Yankee by the way."-the talkative nurse said giving me the glass of cool water. I thanked her
and took the glass immediately downing the water.
"How are you feeling?"-Nurse Yankee asks me when I handed her back the glass.
" I'm fine."-I brush her off. I didn't want to talk.
"Mrs you cut your wrists."
"It was a mistake."-I state vaguely. I knew immediately that they didn't believe me at all but they kept
quiet and I was thankful for that.
Two of the nurses left while Yankee checked up on me. All the while none of us really engaged in any
conversation apart from when she'd ask me questions like "are you dizzy?" or "can you move your
fingers?". I'd just nod or shake my head. I've been here for 3 days apparently and the reason was
because I lost a lot of blood. My body had to recover.
When she was done she closed the file in her hold and looked like she was ready to leave. " Ca...can I
please borrow your phone? I...I wan-no I need to make a phone call."-I asked her. I think deep down I
was begging her for this phone.
"Uhmm...sure here."-she gave me her phone after unlocking it. "I'll be back with some food."
She left me in this cold room and her phone in my hold. I thought of calling the police and...and I don't
know. I didn't know if Tiger would just come in here and take this phone and...crap.
I'm dialing and I listen to it ring almost five times before it finally gets answered.
"Errr...haller."-a female voice answered and I swear I removed the phone from my ear to check if I had
dialed the number correctly. I did. " Helllooo..."-the female voice called out and I quickly pasted the
phone on my ear again.
"Hi."-I said shortly my mind was still trying to make sense of another woman answering his phone.
Did he move on already?
"Am...am I...is this Xavier King's number?"-Wow I stutter now?
"Yes yes it is. Who's this?"-the female asked.
"It doesn't matter. Is he around?"
"Errrr...no why do you want my husband?"-my heart dropped to my stomach. He did move on and I
hated how I was instantly feeling. Anger. Sadness. Heck I even felt betrayed.
"Look lady I have things to do so if you're not going to say your piece I'm going to hang up."
"Wait. I just wanted to hear his voice but since he's not there than I guess you can pass this on for me.
Tell him I still love him."-I breath out biting on the insides of my cheeks.
"What? What is this? You call me to tell me you love my husband? How dare you!"
"Bye."
"Don't you dare hang up! Who are yo-..."-I removed the phone from my ear and I could still hear her
shouting on the other end. I meant what I said but I probably shouldn't have said it to her cause now it
sounded wrong.
It sounded like I was a homewrecker.
The other girl.
I hang up and sigh heavily. This life wasn't made for me and now it had to bring me back again.
Nxa I'm honestly giving up on suicide cause it also seems to be allergic to me. The door opens bringing
me out of my banging thoughts and I unconsciously hide the phone on the sides of this bed. It was the
nurse. She walked in pushing a trolley with food on it. My mouth was already watering with all the food I
haven't seen in months.
"Mrs Ramafoko your food."-she announced the tray now near me.
I wanted to react to that but I didn't.

"Thank you for the phone."-I give it to her.
"Don't mention it."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
It had been weeks and still the torture of being in this hellhole was an everyday reality. My wrists have
healed decently even if I wasn't given another option to go see a doctor again. I hated myself even more
than I did when I woke up in that hospital. It could've been for how my body was starting to look
because of this pregnancy or the fact that that woman's words still rang in my head every single day. I
hated myself because I kinda felt that Xavier didn't need me in his life anymore. Yes a mere man was
making me feel like trash. I didn't even seem to care for how Tiger has been treating me because what
Xavier did to my soul was worse...or atleast to me it felt like that.
I also regretted not calling for help that day from the police. Maybe we would've been back in South
Africa right now.
Safe.
But I didn't.
When I informed Zama about this she blew a fuse saying I didn't think smartly -or in simple terms I was
stupid-and should've called.
"I wouldn't even know where this hell is and what if Tiger overheard me came here and took all of you
somewhere else."-I remember telling her how I thought this would've ended terribly. Also having me
'safe' only was seemingly not an option on my side. If I was to be free then Zama had to be there as
well... And the others of course.
Our plan today had to be set in motion. Rendani dearest had agreed to help us get Nqoba's number
from Nomvelo and to say I was nervous would be an understatement. "Are you sure you can do this?"-I
whispered to her as we made our way to the van. Today's destination was to Nath...I mean Notorious'
place. His merch was stuffed in all the girls excluding me.
" Why are you talking?!"-A goon asked from behind us causing me to look at him. It was Ernest. The only
goon that seemed 'weak' in this hellhole. Brother even accepted Zama's cookie in exchange for a 5
minute talk with me in my room. I can't believe he even allowed that especially since that gave us an
indication that he might also help us help ourself. I remember when Zama told me that the cameras in
our rooms were only being watched by Tiger and he'd only do that once which was when he'd return
from his night out to get proper food and alcohol for himself. Heck the brother even gave us time
schedules... Even though that was a bit useless since we didn't have watches on us.
I heave out a sigh and apologize just to make him feel better.
I look back at Rendani and she nods.

I want to scream out in joy because of that but all I manage to do is give a small weak smile. When we're
inside the van I feel the nerves dance all over my body. Something drastic was going to happen. I could
feel it.
"Relax."-Zama whispered to and squeezed my hand tightly. I looked at her and then quickly looked
behind us. Rendani was still talking to Nomvelo.
I breath out. " Azania don't stress okay. Don't forget the little one in there."-Zama said her voice low
enough for me to hear.
Not this again.
"I don't care about this baby Zama!"-I snap freeing my hand from her hers. " Stop talking about it as if I
care about it!"
"Come down Mfazi please."-She begged still in the low voice of hers that was kind of starting to irritate
me. She held me by the sides of my face making me look her in the eye. That carried on for a long while
before I actually calmed down and broke in to tears. She took me into her embrace and allowed me to
sob quietly.
I was definetly losing myself.
Minutes later we came to a stop. Cops again. They did their check up as usual and let us go.
Don't.
I felt a tap on my shoulder. Rendani nodded and I knew that she had them. Now we'd just see if Ernest
would get us a piece of paper and a pen.
We came to a complete halt more minutes later and I sensed we had arrived at Notorious' place. Finally.
I knew after this We'd be heading back to that place and get our ducks in a row. Again I was freaking out
cause the next step I was going to be completely on my own with that bastard of a man.
"Right Out!"-Saturn yelled as he opened the door. Celia was the first to step out followed by the rest of
us. Zama and I were the last to step out and we stood there waiting for Saturn to close the door and
lead us in. Even though we knew exactly where to go from here. I mean we've been here more than
once.
I spot Tiger at a far distance shaking Mr Teanet -tattoo arms'- hand. He turned to us and nodded
signaling to Saturn to aggressively bring us into the building.
"Move!"-he pushed Nomvelo forward and we all start walking.

Something still didn't feel right...
I looked over my shoulder since Zama who should be next to me was falling behind. She held her
stomach and growled in pain.
" Zama...Zama!"-I started yelling as I turned back from the group.
"Hey bitch move!"-Saturn.
"Can't you see she's in pain!"-I actually managed to push his huge self away from us. "Zama Zama look at
me!"-I begged but she just dropped to her knees. I was shaking...sweating...hyperventilating as I saw my
own friend looking weak in front of my eyes. I knew a condom had raptured in her stomach and I was
losing her. Fast. " Zama please don't do this to me!"-I pleaded wanting to shake her back to normal.
"What's going on here what's the delay?"-That was Tiger.
"I...lo..ve...you...Azi..."-Was what she said before she collapsed right there in my arms. I think I froze for
a minute holding her tighly.
No...
She couldn't have been gone...
It felt like her body was already going cold and my insides dropped.
She was gone.
She didn't want to breathe! She left me!
"Check her pulse."-Tiger instructed to someone. Rendani was next to me seconds later and I watched
her take Zama's wrist into her own. Slowly she tried to feel for a spot where she'd find a pulse...but I
could see it in her face that there was nothing.
"There's... There's no pulse Tiger."-her voice was shaky as she said that letting Zama's hand go.
" Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"-Tiger yells frustratedly. "How the fuck did this happen! My Merchandise! Fuck!"
"Is...that really all you care about your merchandise? What about Zama Tiger!? What about my friend."-I
fumed still on my knees on this hard ground. It was only then that I noticed my surroundings. They were
all around me. " My friend is gone Tiger!"-I cried out tears pouring out of my eyes.
"What's going on here?"-Notorious asked as he got to us. "Tiger?"
"Code Red boss. All 100."-Tiger says to him.
"Well that's unfortunate. Teanet!"-Notorious.

"Grootman?"-Teanet.
"Bring my dagger."-Nathi ordered. " You two take her out back."
"Yes sir."-Saturn and Tiger agreed before they roughly took Zama from my hold.
" Ha.a let her go! Tiger please let her go!"-I begged getting on my feet. Tiger held her hands while Saturn
held her by the ankles. "Where are you taking her? Bring her back!"-I was shouting this whole while but
they didn't listen to me. No one was listening to me. Even when I turned to look back at the girls they
just stood there. Some hugging themselves and some looked panicked.
" Tiger Tiger! Plea-..."
"Shut up Azania stay back!"-Tiger roared. They kept on walking and I kept on following. Nathi was hot on
my tail. I didn't care about him.
"Put her down over there at the corner. On that wooded surface."-Nathi ordered and they did. " Tiger
move your thing."-He growled angrily.
"Yes boss."-he answers letting Zama's hands go. "Baby cakes let's go."
He grabs my forearm and starts pulling me. "Teanet."-Notorious.
Teanet gives him the knife and and I watch Nathi kneels in front of Zama's lifeless body. He raises the
knife and strikes her on the stomach.
I feel lightheaded almost immediately...
My yelling feels distant
---
"Azania...don't close your eyes please..."-someone called me out as I opened my eyes. "...oh thank God
you're awake."-Rendani.
I sighed heavily as I took in my surroundings. I was back in my room. I instantly saw Zama's lifeless body
again in my head and felt tears forming in my eyes. This time around I didn't stop them at all. I wasn't
strong anymore.
"Please don't cry."-She pleaded and I shook my head.
"It wasn't a dream Rendani."-I choke on the lump in my throat.
"I'm sorry Azania. I know there's nothing I can do to take away the pain you're feeling right now but...but
I can tell you that you'll pull through. We'll pull through."-she sniffed lightly.
I kept quiet.
"Aza...we got the number. "-She says causing me to sit up and wipe my tears with the back of my hand.
"What? How?"-I ask.
"We did what we do best and managed. Nomvelo wants out of this too. Azania...we've all had enough
and...and losing Zama made that all so clear for us."-she says. " Here."-she gives me a piece of paper
with 3 numbers written on it. "She couldn't remember properly if it ended with 31 13 or 18...so she
wrote 3 options."
I nod taking the paper.
"Look. I'm sure Ernest will be here to fetch me anytime soon since my 20 minutes are almost up."
"You've been here for 20 minutes?"
She nods.
Sheesh!
How long have I been out kanti?

Our door opens. It's Ernest. "Your time is up."-he says firmly.
"Okay I'm coming."-Rendani says getting up. She gives me a look and turns to walk away.
I'm alone. The silence of this room engulfing me tightly. The paper in my hand and the fact that those
ladies in the other rooms depended on me felt heavy on my shoulders. I rolled out of bed and rubbed
my back which suddenly ached.
I hide the piece of paper under my laundry basket before stepping into the shower. I squeal as the cold
was touches my skin. My shower is brief. My mind is running wild. My heart clenches as I can't stop
thinking about my friend.
A lot of questions ran through my mind...like what happened after I fainted. What happened to her
body?
Gosh! Was this all real?
I open the shower door and step out before reaching for a towel to dry my body.
I know he's in here...

"You know...I've lost so many things in my life..."-I look up to him. His eyes are tiny and I knew he had
some whiskey and as tiny as they were I knew he had them fixed on me. It's shocking how well I knew
him already just from the few months that have passed. "...my innocence my mom my gran my soul and
now I lost my...one and only...best... friend."
I wasn't going to mention Xavier.
"Not only that but I saw how she was taken and slaughtered for the drugs she swallowed. I passed out
after he counted the 10th stuffed cocaine condom. You see Tebogo..."-I dropped the towel and
maneuvered towards him slowly. "... I now know that you are the only one for me. It may have taken me
forever to notice that but I do now. From the first day you came to the palace I knew that you were the
one for me. I was playing hard to get and now I see...th...that I shouldn't have tortured myself like that. I
should've allowed you to...to love me the way you do now."
I took his face into my hands and stood between his legs.
"Now I see that you and I can be...be a family and have lots and lots of kids. We'll probably get married
too."-I feel his hand on my waist as he bought me closer to him. "Make love to me Tebogo. I need your
touch...your dick...your everything tonight. Make me feel like a woman..."-I whisper tears rolling down
my cheeks.
" Oh baby cakes..."-He lays his index finger and middle finger on my clit after he moistened it with his
saliva. I moan tilting my head back giving him access to my titties which he started sucking hungrily. I
moaned even more pushing his head closer to my tits. I hear him groan and that makes it known to me
that he was enjoying this.
"Finger me baby..."-I begged and bit on my bottom lip. He listens to me as he moves his fingers from my
clit to my entrance.
"So wet."-his voice was tight and overflowing with lust.
"For you."-I mumble. His fingers delve into my wet entrance and I can't stop my loud moan. He starts
thrusting in and out...in and out...in and out...at a fast pace sending me to Neverland. My toes even curl
at this act of Bliss.
"You gonna cum?"-He asks and I only manage to answer him with a nod. I was on the edge honestly and
his thrusts made it hard for me to keep in my explosion. My pussy clenches around his fingers as I
covered them with my juices. I watched him grin in satisfaction before I felt him withdrawing his fingers
and lifts them up to my lips. " Clean those"-he ordered and I took his hand and licked his fingers tasting
myself. I make sure to lick his fingers and to suck on them like I would to a dick.
"Baby cakes...fuck...you're such a turn on when you cooperate."-he says and I chuckle.
"I know. "
He retrieves his fingers from my mouth and unbuttons his shirt's buttons. His drunken state makes him
struggle a bit which makes me step in and help him. When it's off he throws it aside and I push him
down making him lay flat on the bed.
The phone peeks at me from his jeans pocket...

I unbutton the button of his pants feel on the hardness of his dick underneath my hand. "Baby
cakes...fuck!"-he groaned and I smirked. He didn't want this torture and knowing him he'd bust quick.
Which wasn't really all bad.
I hook my fingers and start pulling down both his boxers and his pants. " Wait...baby cakes it's loaded. I
don't want you getting hurt."-he said lifting himself up and pulled the gun out from underneath himself.
"Let me hold it for you."-I plead shakily and hold his shaft in my hand. Running it up and down his
reasonable length.
"No baby cakes...you'll hurt yourself and I wouldn't want that."-he utteres causing me to roll my eyes
irritated by his sudden care.
"Don't... Don't you trust me Tebogo? How are we going to work on building a relationship together if
you don't trust me?"-I lick from the base of his shaft to the very tip tasting the salty precum that oozed
from it. I want him to think with his nuts if not the least. The whiskey didn't seem to want to kick in hard
enough too. "I even left that..."-I clear my throat. "...that bleached nigga for you Tebogo yet you still
don't trust me?"-I suck at the head and he hissed.
I know I said I wouldn't mention Xavier but I had to.

This was either going to work or I was as good as dead.
"Aza...fuck...I trust you baby."-he breathes out.
"Then give it to me. I'll go put it on that table and we'll both be safe baby."-I slithered all the way up.
Straddling him. I felt his hardness underneath my entrance. He hisses again. Shutting his eyes. I eye the
gun in his grip...my heart is beating hard against my chest heck my pits were starting to sweat and
itch...he loosens his grip from it...
"...l trust you..."-He murmers eyes still shut. Slowly I reach for it...
Zimu...
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
18
Chapter 18
The moment my fingers land on the hard pistol in his hand I bite on the insides of my cheeks.
Sheesh.
I can't do this...I mean this is too much and I honestly don't think I'm strong enough for this.
I look at him as he still had his eyes closed. No...I can do this. I cant allow myself to suffer any further.
I've already lost so much to this man and letting him live now would be a completely stupid idea. I
quickly grab it and get off him reversing until I my back hits the rough wall. With shaky hands I point the
gun at him. It feels so heavy in my hold.
"Azi...baby cakes...where are you...?"-he murmurs holding his hard member.
I'm sure he was getting cold and that didn't concern me at all.
"I'm here...at the door of your hell."-I say and see how he opens his eyes sitting upright and as if
realising what was happening he lifts his hands up.
"What...what is going on here? What are you doing?"
"Something I should've done ages ago before I even lost my friend."
"Baby cakes put the gun down."-he says in a forced firm voice.
I shook my head continuously. "Shut up Tiger! I should've killed you ages ago! You worthless piece of
shit!"-Im nervous as ever but I'm surprised I'm not tearing up because of this.
"You don't know what you're taking about just put the gun down and let us talk about this."-He gets up
still with his hands up and I quickly corked the gun making him halt from his journey forward.
"One more step and this trip to hell will be way quicker."
"Do it then baby cakes. Do it. Kill me. End me! But what do you think will happen after you do that?
Huh? Don't you think my guards will come here looking for me huh? Even if you kill me how will you get
out of here?"-He asks with a smirk playing on his lips.
"Shut up!"
"Shoot me Azania but just remember... You're still carrying a daily reminder of me. I still tapped that
pussy more than once and fucken gave no shit about that. I ruined your relationship with that idiot of a
white man-..."
"Shut up!"-Okay now the tears were threatening.
He chuckles. " No one will ever love you Azania! You were not designed to love or to be loved! That
dumb bitch of yours died and left you here to suffer! If she loved you she would've stayed Azania. Kill
me even if you do you'll still remain a cheap stupid worthless bitch whose father rap-..."-He doesn't even
finish that cause the following 3 bangs come from this gun.
And then there was silence.
I opened my eyes and gaped at the sight in front of me. He was on the ground laying on his side eyes
open. Blood everywhere. It oozed out of his mouth chest and forehead.
I lowered the gun and let out a sob covering my mouth with my hand.
What have I done!?

What do I do now?
I hear no one coming as I stood frozen on my spot for minutes unend. He wasn't moving. I finally
gathered enough strength to move to him and gently kick him on his abdomen turning him around. He
faces upwards. I sniffed wiping my falling tears. I fucken killed a human. I killed Tiger...and I'll probably
end up going to prison in this foreign country.
"Stop panicking Azania!"-I whisper loudly to myself. This had already been done and there was no way
of bringing him back and no that's not what I wanted. I bend down and reach into his pocket pulling out
the phone. With shaky hands I unlock it rejoicing at the fact that it was password free.
The paper.
Right.
I basically run to my laundry basket and lift it retrieving the paper from underneath it. The first number I
dial sends me to a middle aged sounding woman. The last one also does the same crap which makes me
glare at the last number. What if it also sends me to the wrong person?
What then?
I dial the second number and it rings... Longer than what I expected it to. I hold my breath crossing my
fingers hoping that it gets answered fast cause time was probably not on my side.
"Tiger you motherfucker! Where the fuck ar-..."
"Nqoba."-I say causing him to shut up completely.
"Who's this?"-I sniff looking at the door then back to the blinking camera.
" Its...Azania."-I breathe out.
"Fuck!"-He curses to himself before I hear some commotion and more curses on the other end of the
line. " Where are you guys?"
"I...I don't know but we're in some warehouse...please come help us."-I whisper the last part hugging
myself. I couldn't believe I was calling someone to come help us.
" Okay..."-He yells at a Tsiietsi to start his computer thingies. "Azania stay on the line for me okay. Don't
hang up."-he says and I nod as if I could see him and he could see me.
"Azania."
"I won't hang up."-I utter sighing and scratch my head.
"Where's Tiger Azania?"-He asks and I can't help but turn my head and look at him. Still on the same
spot.
"He's... He's dead."
---
How I'm still alive till now is still a miracle. I covered that bastards body with that bedsheet just so I
couldn't keep seeing him. The way he looked at me even in his death made me uncomfortable and I had
to distance myself from it. My call commenced until they finally had our location. I held my breath the
moment they mentioned that they were coming even though I doubted it would've been quick since
they still had to fly all the way here...which could take forever.
I wore a dress to cover my body and hogged the corner of this room. I concluded in my head that the
reason why those goons haven't come here to check up on us especially since there was a loud
gunshot...no scratch that gunshots even was because it wasn't the first time he actually fired a shot in
this room.
I started feeling sleepy even in my panicked state. My head rests on my knees while the gun rested om
my lap...
"Mfazi...that's an ugly dress shuu!"-she chuckles and looks at it. Twirling in front of the mirror clearly not
seeing what I'm seeing. " Haibo take it off."
"But Mfazi I like it...look at the slit here the green and red here and Azi look at this huge black flower
here. This dress is beautiful."
"No Zama it's not."-I say shaking my head before we both broke out in laughter.
"Okay okay fine. You win now help me with the zip"-She says supressing her laugh and gives me her
back. I put my glass of wine on the other chair next to mine in this shop and get up. After unzipping it
she takes it off and rushes to try on the other dresses she took. While in there I reach for my glass of
wine and sip. I hear her yell agonisingly as if she was in pain and that made me jump out of my seat. I'm
suddenly in her changing room where she face the mirror. Blood dripped out of her eyes before she
turned around to face me. She held her stomach and then stuffed condoms came pouring out of her
mouth. It all happened very fast.
The last one had bursted open and it's contents painted the whole floor white. I turned aroud freaked
out but there was a locked door hindering my freedom. When I turned to look back Nathi and Tiger
where next to her. They grabbed her and rushed to the mirror and like it was a teleport to somewhere it
sucked them in. When they were sucked in I tried following them but the mirror broke. " Zama!!"-I
yelled as all those pieces shattered onto the floor landing upright. The pointed sharpness calling me and
begging me to touch them...
I reached for one and suddenly a loud bang woke me up. I was a sweating mess and my heart beated
rapidly. I'm on my feet in seconds as the gunshot sounds go off again. It sounds like war out there and I
somehow end up eyeing Tiger's body to see if he was still there. I feel paranoid especially since I could
think a dead man would wake up.
There are yells and more gunshots. I'm ready. The gun aiming right ahead ready to shoot even with my
shaky hands.
Silence.
My heart would've leaped out of my mouth if this continued. "Where's Azania?!"-A loud voice roared.
"Fok wena mfondini. Im shot apha and you're asking stupid questions as if we'd know! Fok!"-another.
"Let's break this door down."-another said.
Not even a second later there's a gunshot that knocks the doorknob off and the door is kicked in. I flinch
as it does.
Men.
Men I've never seen before walk in.
"Yoh..."-The one who kicked the door open -I assume- says.
"Azania."-a familiar voice calls out.
" Uhmm...is that her?"-Mr-door-kicker asked.
When he peeks in I swear I released a breath of relief. I drop the gun and my feet manoeuvre forward.
Nqoba takes me into his hold and I can't help but cry honestly. Cry for everything...but mostly I cried for
the fact that he came and he came this quick.
He actually held me until I calmed down. That surprised me honestly. "Are you okay now?"-he asks and I
nod.
"Fuck Melo mfo come stitch me up ."-one cried.
"Eh? Mina?"-this Melo dude answered. He's the one who kicked down the door.
"Guys seriously!"-Nqoba said. "Melo just stitch up his wound. I also want you to take the girls to the mini
bus."
Melo mumbles something that I can't hear before I actually let Nqoba go.
"I'm sorry about that."-I utter embarrassed at the way I just threw myself at him.
"It's chilled. Uhmm...where's Zama and Nonthando."-He asked and I swallowed. I just finished crying I
couldn't start again. Besides that I didn't want to call on a headache I'd regret. And lastly I was tired of
crying. My eyes felt tired and almost irritated.
I didn't answer for a while and just shook my head. "They're gone."
"Meaning?"-Melo. I eyed him before seeing his lips form an 'O'.

"I'm sorr-..."
"It's fine...can we just go."-I say my voice low. Nqoba nods and tell me to follow these two idiots while
he and a dude named Owen go search this whole place for any remaining men and a few of our stuff.
Stuff such as our ID's and Visa's and more crap like that.
Once in the mini bus I got to watch how Melo cleaned and stitched Lundi's wound. "Keep still."-He
hissed at Lundi as he did a pretty amazing job at stitching his bullet wound.
"Mfondini don't. I'd be fine if I didn't come along for this stupid mission. How long have we been here
konje? Four weeks and-..."
"Lundi marn why are you being so dramatic marn?"
"I forgot you're Hlelo's twin just as heartless. I have a wife remember? One that's gonna strangle me
alive for being in Iraq for this long. "-Lundi says before hissing out as Melo stitched along.
"Don't speak about my lovely twin like that you know he's a very civilized man...and this trip was your
idea remember?"-He chuckles shaking his head. " I know you have a wife but let me remind you that
what we did here was more than just stay in Iraq for fun and games. She'll understand that this was an
important mission."-he says.
These two. Nqoba and Owen came with most of the things he found. I was given my phone and ID.
And Zama's ID visa and phone.

Zimu.
---
Hours and hours went by before we got back to SA and eventually the palace. The tenseness we had
when we were on the way to this place was thicker. I couldn't believe we were here. I swear there was a
moment where I wanted to call out Mfazi and yell we're here but the cold reality of her not being here
hit hard honestly.
We stepped out and made our way in. I sighed heavily remembering how peacefully we left this place.
No one forced us out of here.
We're all instructed to sit down and we do so without complaint. Nqoba took his place in front while
Lundi sat on that seat Tiger usually sat on. He was shot on the arm and had on an armsling which
seemed to irritate him. I was sitting next to Celia ignoring my dislike for her.
"Uhmm...I...I don't know what to say really..."-Nqoba stated after clearing his throat. He didn't look like
the handsome Nqoba he usually was when we had meetings. He looked tired and beyond...beyond
defeated? "...sorry isn't even enough in this case."
"Can we not do this now."-Celia uttered sniffing and Nqoba put his hand up to shut her up.
"I'll be quick Cece. Since you're all tired and drained I'll cut straight to the chase. I'm closing down the
palace."-He says in one go and the room fills with gasps.
"You can't do that Mr Zwane."-Hanna.
"What do you expect us to do? We don't even have jobs."-Zinhle.
"Some of us don't even have qualifications to get that job."-Nomvelo protested as well.
"Are you just going to throw us out on the streets...?"-Naomi.
"Because what huh? Because you have enough money now?"-Zinhle added again.
Sheesh.
"Ladies..."-Nqoba.
"No Nqoba you're not being fair right now. We've been working here for so many years and now you
just throw us out like garbage."-Nomvelo.
I'm stunned with how these women won't even give Nqoba a chance to speak.
"Okay okay ladies please calm down!"-Owen said arms folded in front of his chest. It instantly went
quiet.
" Sit down Nomvelo."-Nqoba commanded and she hesitantly sat down. "I understand that this isn't ideal
for all of you here but you'll have to understand that I can't let this place commence after everything
that has happened to you girls. That just doesn't go well with me. Yes I said I'm closing this place down
and I'm not changing my mind about that. For the next 6 months I'll allow you to stay here and pay for
eveything from food and all those nice things I used to pay for here. You'll also still continue getting your
full salaries for those 6 months but after that you'll have to have a solid plan."
"A solid plan?"-Nomvelo.
"Argh marn what don't you get kanti Nomvelo?"-I ask irritated.
Melo chuckles. "Wow. Drama."
"Yes Nomvelo a solid plan meaning get yourselfs solid jobs. If you want to study for anything than that's
fine. You'll just bring me your results acceptance things and so forth and I'll gladly sponsor you."-Nqoba
says.
"Gosh he's serious."-Nomvelo utters and claps her hands once.

"I actually think that's actually amazing...I wouldn't min-..."-Rendani.
"Haibo don't be stupid. Don't you see what's happening here? We signed a contract about this and
according to it we get to work here for 4 years paid. You are going against this contract Nqoba and again
you are maki-..."-Nomvelo said again getting up after Rendani cuts her short.
"You stop being stupid Nomvelo. This is a great opportunity for all of us here. Forget about that stupid
contract it won't bring you anything apart from what? More opening of legs?"-Rendani asks. "Why not
take this and make something great out of yourself other than being a hoe huh?"
This Rendani was not the Rendani I knew.
She was on fire with the facts. I swear I nearly chuckled but I held my horses.
"Now sit the heck down and listen to your boss."-She finished off and clicked her tongue.
Sheesh.
Nomvelo sat down and Nqoba commenced with his meeting. He even went as far as mentioning the fact
that his million I repeat his millions -not thousands not cents- was stolen. I could imagine what I'd do if I
lost millions...well not that I ever had them but I'm allowed to imagine right? Also the whole thing of this
place shutting down in a few months was real and we had to suck it up. Not that I minded though since I
was quitting from this palace in the first place. How nice everything seemed back then.
We got our spare keys from Nqoba when the meeting ended and I even ended up asking for Zama's key.
I sat on my bed and sighed heavily at the softness of it. How I actually missed that. My phone was
charging at Melo's car since I still had to buy a new one for myself.
A lot went through my mind as I sat here. What was my next step honestly since everything was and is a
complete mess?
Where would I go after this place closed down?
I placed my hand on my stomach and bit on the insides of my cheeks. I didn't want it and knowing that
abortion was out of the question since I was at 4 months I felt defeated. Again this beasts thing was
growing and I didn't want to raise it.
Adoption. Yes. As soon as I give birth to this thing I'll give it away. I won't raise a constant reminder of
Tiger.
No.
After taking a long hot shower -Something I've also missed- I step out and dry my body attentively. The
marks on my wrists were evidently and clearly stating that they were going to be there permanently. I
quickly lotion and head to my closet.
I'm in search of anything white. All white. I have decided to mourn my best friend that I never got to
bury for a month. I'm not going to wear black though because I felt as if black would make me dull. I'm
wearing white cause Zama was and is my angel.
When I find my white pair of jeans and a white oversized tshirt I wear it along with my dirty-ish chuck
Taylor all stars. My hair has honestly grown and it needed to be tended to because it looked like a mess.
The only weave that was here was a 23 inch one. My other weaves were probably somewhere in Dubai.
I put on the weave and brush it with an extra brush until it looked better than before. I didn't even want
to put makeup on but I ended up doing that since I wanted some of my confidence back.
It worked a little.
Red.
---
I've been in Zama's room for the past three hours going through her stuff. Pictures of us. Letters I used
to write for her for her birthday. A whole diary of her clients and numbers book. I even frowned at that
but the things I read there were interesting. Her collection of CD's from Erykah Badu to Lauryn.
"Uhmm...hey."-a voice startled me causing me to turn around.
Melo.
"Hi."-I said putting the CDs in my hand down.
"I'm sorry for interrupting you...your phone it's full."-he said and I nodded taking it from him.
"Thanks."
"It's...a pleasure. Azania right?"-I nod. "So...was she your friend?"-He asks taking her framed picture that
laid on her desk. I got her that for her birthday.
"Yeah. She was."-saying that felt bitter.
"You know... I recently lost my daughter too."-he puts the picture down.
"Daughter?"-me.
"Yeah...well she was my brother's child but I regarded her as my own."

Oh.
"Mind me asking how old she was?"-me. I don't even know why I'm digging but I am.
"She wasn't even born yet...but if you look at it from another perspective she was 8 months old."-he
says and I find myself unconsciously placing my hand on my belly.
Zimu.
"I'm...sorry."-I say and he gives me a sad smile.
" Sometimes I even wonder what she would've grown up to be like you know. What she'd look like and
even how she'd sound like."-he says moving to look at the painting that hung gracefully on her wall. The
one I painted for her.
"Still her right? You painted this?"-he asks and I chuckle nodding. That chuckle was not planned. "What?
Did I say something wrong?"
"No...not at all. I just remembered something that we once talked about. The painting Prostitute."-I
even wipe the tears that invaded my face instantly as they came.
"This is some fine painting."

"Thank you."-I acknowledge hugging myself. This was all too real honestly. " I miss her."-I blurt.
"For what it's worth all I can say is that you'll be fine. Keep the good memories close in your heart. She's
still with you..."-Melo uttered and gently rubbed my shoulder before leaving me alone in this room
again...
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
19
Chapter 19
♡
The following day just feels like barf. I'm hungry and so lazy but mostly I'm thankful for sleeping
peacefully. It's unbelievable actually. I pull the blackets of Zama's bed over my head and reach for my
phone from underneath her pillow.
Sheesh.
I didn't even get the time to touch this heaven brick yesterday and because of obvious reasons. All my
things were still there. My facebook. My Instagram. My Twitter -which was still dead in action. My
WhatsApp and lastly my banking apps.
Okay.
I even went through some of my messages and I couldn't believe the crap Tebogo had been sending
Xavier. Some of my clients were even given an account number to send ridiculous amounts of money to
"me" and some of those people also included Baba Zwane. He even blocked all of them.
"Nxa what the heck!"-I said logging out of facebook and finally decided it's time to drag my lazy hungry
ass downstairs.
I find Naomi and Lahifa seated on the couches with the television off. They don't say anything as I make
my way to the kitchen apart from greeting me.
The cupboards are filled with different ingredients. The fridge too. I take some brown bread and butter
it on one side. I do the same to 1 other slice before putting the 2 in the toaster. I'm so frustrated by the
fact that I don't know what I want. Zama would usually take care of that. I don't even know how to cook.
Zama used to do that for me.
Zimu.
I couldn't even fry an egg to save my life.
"Azania..."-That was Rendani's voice. "... Morning."
"Hi."-I reply putting on the best face I could master to not come off as rude. Or weak.
"You good?"-bless her soul. She's honestly the second person I could and would ever trust in this house.
The others can suck their dicks.
"Not so much. I don't know what to eat honestly."
"Well I was about to make an omelette... I can make one for you...that's if you want?"-Rendani says and
my heart melts.
Score!
The gods of foodville haven't let me down again.
"I'd love that thanks."-me.
And as promised she made me an omelette. I of course ate my toast first. I nearly died from the
explosion of goodness that took place in my mouth when I devoured on that omelette. I praised her till
the very end.
"You're overdoing it."-She giggled taking both our plates from the counter and goes to the sink.
"I'm not. That was genuinely a good omelette."-me. She brings a whole unopened bottle of orange juice
to the counter. Heck lady even bought 2 glasses. "You didn't have to do that you know."
"Relax I'm cool with it."-she fills our glasses. " So...what's your plan? "
"My plan? I have no idea actually but a plan will be made. I'll probably invest some of my money or buy
shares...something like that. But like I said..."-I sip on the juice. "...I have no plan at all now. I know for a
fact that going to school would drag and right now I'm lazy."
"I actually am considering going back to university since we have the opportunity."-Rendani.
"So you were once there?"-I ask. Sip.
"Yeah. But for a few months only before I had my son."
Wait what!?
I nearly choke on the juice I was downing. Son?
"Huh? Son? Had?"-me. I'm honestly shocked.
"Yes Azania I have a son"-She chuckles and sips her juice. "I fell pregnant and long story short lets just
say I wasn't always like this. I was a rebel and my ex didn't like that. I gave birth and I was seen as unfit
to be his mother and eventually my ex got full custody."-she tells me and to say I wasn't shocked would
be a complete fib. Rendani has a child? Guys Rendani is a mom. " I saw him on his first birthday and well
from there on it became my goal to better myself. So yes. I've been saving like crazy to atleast start
something. I know he's 8 years old and only sees me on certain times but I want nothing more than to
be a part of his life."-She sighs and walks to the sink with her empty glass.
"What's his name?"-I ask getting off the kitchen highchair and make my way to the sink as well.
"Lutendo."-Rendani says smiling.
"That's a beautiful name."-Someone startles us. Nomvelo. "Oh...sorry for interrupting. "
Rendani takes the glass from my hand and starts rinsing it.
"How are you Azania?"-She asks fake concern written all over her face.
"Could you stop pretending? For everyone's sake."-I say folding my arms in front of my chest.
"Pretending? What makes you think I'm pretending Azania? I'm being genuine here and you throw my
genuineness back onto my face again."
I swear I roll my eyes irritated by all that's happening right now. She must think I'm stupid.
"Yes Nomvelo. I'm throwing it back to your face because I don't need it. I don't need your fake care. "-
me.
"Azania I know your heartbroken because of Zama an-..."-I cut her off.
"Don't! Don't you dare mention my friend's name. You don't even deserve her name in your vocabulary.
You think I'm supposed to believe you suddenly care about me and her when you barely gave a shit
when she was still breathing?"
"Azan-..."
"No Nomvelo! I'm not all those bitches out there that buy your crappy act. You're a liar and a
backstabber. You're a con. A sellout! I know you and Tiger devised this together but he refrained from
telling you about the drugs. He betrayed you. I also know that you two made us work extra here so you
could steal some money for yourselves."-Rendani gasps.
"What?"-Rendani.
"You're being delusional."-Nomvelo says. By now all of the girls have gathered by the door. Listening to
me. I couldn't have been that loud. Could I?
"Nomvelo. You can call me delusional and all the other things you like but stop acting like you care
about all of us. Cause I know you only care about yourself."-I roughly push her out of my way and storm
off. The girls at the door make way for me to pass and the moment I'm out there's commotion that
takes place and I pay no mind to it cause honestly was done with this palace and it's hoes.
After taking a shower I put on a white dress and brown sandals. I had to make a plan and buy myself
other weaves. I also had to buy other clothes and shoes because wow.
I pull out an old handbag from my closet. The papers I found inside were so like me. After emptying it
and getting rid of the papers I put my phone some sanitizer hand lotion and my ID inside. All my bank
cards had to be redone and I was so lazy to do all that again.
I can't believe some of these men still work here. As soon as I came to the SUV he was there to open my
door.
"Please I can do it myself."-I stop him.
The look he gives me almost makes me laugh. "Of course miss."-He replies.
My mouth drops to the ground. A driver just spoke to me! These people never spoke to us if you
remember correctly.
"You just talked."-me.
"I did...now are you leaving miss or...?"-He asks. I know him but I don't know his name.
"Of course."-I step into the car and he closes the door.
"To the mall please."-I say. Our ride to there is filled with conversation. I got to know this driver better
than never before. His name is Samukelo. Sam for short. He finds parking and I get out.
I spend hours fixing my whole bankcard's issue and I was told to fetch it in a few days.
I grab some lunch at Toulas Family Restaurant. This place made me think of Xavier and it had me
smiling...but then I remembered that phonecall and a bitter taste forms in my mouth.
"Good day ma'am. May I take your order?"
------------------------------------------------------------
My bags are packed and I'm ready to go. About 4 men are helping me move all my luggage to a car
Nqoba organised to transport all those that wanted to leave. He really did care about us...or...he was
pitying us. Either way this was free and my pockets were saved. I had found myself an apartment around
here and it was quite affordable. Finding a job on the other hand was not easy and I understood why. I
ended up settling for a cleaning job. It's not much but it's something I can keep myself busy with until I
give birth.
Tomorrow will be marking the 6th month of this pregnancy and I'd be lying if I said it has all been
smooth. I didn't even get to enjoy turning 25. My birthday was the worst. Apart from spending it
without Zama I had to deal with the worst morning sickness ever.
This baby hated me. And now it was making me fat on purpose. And it was making me eat junk. And it
was making me too emotional too angry too lazy and too anxious. I couldn't wait to give birth and give it
to someone who'll care for it cause I knew I wouldn't.
"I'll take this one myself."-I say to the men and they nod leaving. I take the lightly packed bag filled with
Zama's things that I was keeping and my handbag. I take in my room one more and sigh heavily. I've had
a lot of good memories in here and just as many bad ones. It felt like I was leaving behind a huge piece
of myself.
"Goodluck."-Lahifa. I turned around and came face to face with her as she stood at the entrance of my
room.
"Uhmm...thanks."
"Yeah Goodbye."-she says.
"Sure. Goodluck too."-I made my way to her with that bags in my hand.
"Thanks...hug?"-she asks looking unsure. I side smile and nod spreading my hands before we shared a
brief hug. She accompanies me downstairs making small talk with me about nothing major really. She's
one of the last 6 here. Rendani left. She's the only one I've actually kept in touch with and I must say it's
been good.
Celia Trish Nomvelo Zinhle Hanna and Lahifa are left.
I say my final goodbye to the bitches of this palace and beam when I realise I'll never see these fake
bitches ever again. I thank the gods of hoeville for that.
See females are frustrating especially the ones I lived with. The SUV is waiting for me at the gate this
time around. It's Sam. Heck I even bid the guardsmen goodbye. Sam opens my door for me and I don't
complain. I've learned not to do that since they all clearly won't stop doing that. I was about to put my
handbag in the backseat when the screeching of a car's wheels caught my attention. I instantly look its
direction and my eyes go wide.
No!
His car door opens instantly and he comes into view. I unconsciously lift the handbag I was going to
throw into the backseat up to 'cover' my belly. Not to say that that would hide it completely but hey...
Dude doesn't even close the car door as he makes his way to me. I'm frozen stunned and stuck on the
same piece of road tar. My mouth went dry the moment I realised it really was him. I don't know what I
was feeling at this moment because the last time I ever saw him face to face and flesh to flesh was that
time we shagged in the very same car he screeched to a halt in the middle of the road.
A part of me was angry at him though at a stupid reason really. I was angry at the fact that he didn't
come look for me and save me. Not to say that he was supposed to be a tough cookie and fight the
world to save me like in the movies but yes I kind of hoped that was the case here. It felt like he didn't
do jack or even try. It felt like he didn't care...which I'm sure he didn't vele because wow dude moved on
soon after I went MIA and 'dumped' him.
His blue intense eyes pierce through mine as he halts in front of me and I immediately look down. Fresh
hot tears roll down my cheek. You could swear that this baby was just pressing my cry button every
single time I tried to act strong. Yes. I'm blaming a bloody fetus for everything!
I feel his hands on my shoulders and they grip firmly there. I know he's still looking at me but I just can't.
Before I can even think further he brings me closer to him and hugs me even with the bag between us. I
want to hug him back but my mind is still in a daze between letting this bag go and whether hugging him
back will seem fitting. My tears still pour out of my eyes in a silent cry as I take in his rare intoxicating
scent.
"Xavier?"-a voice calls out and he lets me out of the over prolonged hug. I don't recognise it. "What's
going on here?"
Sheesh.
I finally get the courage to look up at him and his face is hard. His eyes are searching for something I'm
not sure what for exactly. I dont get why this guy keeps on popping up at random points in my life and
why the heck he keeps on hurting himself and me.
"Azania?"-he breaths out. The way he said my name felt like it was something foreign and forbidden. He
rested his fingertips on my chin sending electric waves from my chin to down there...
Sheesh.
What is happening here?
"Baby."-he says and I cringe. How dare he?
I remove his fingers from my chin and glare at him. "Don't."
"You're... You're pregnant?"-him.
I look down lowering the bag since it proved to be useless.

"Is it mine?"-him.
Seems like my voice went away on a shopping trip because wow. "Are you going to talk to me?"
"I have to go."-I state.
"Go? Go where?"
"Xavier I don't have time for this."-me.
"Where are you going Azania?"
"Far away from here. Far away from-...actually just know I'm going far."-I lie.
"Far? Woman are leaving me again?"
"Go back to your wife Xavier."-I say and watch his face go pale. Literally all the colour from his face
vanished. "Yes Xavier I know you moved on after I ended things with you and I'm fine with that..."-No
I'm not."... now like I said...I have to go."
"How did you find out about..."-He trailes off.
"Xavier. Son what is going on here? Who is this?"-The woman appeared next to him and I could see from
the resembles that she was the female parent.
"Mom please go wait in the car."-Xavier begs firmly without breaking our intense eye contact.
"Who is she?"-His mother asks.

"I was going to tell you."-Xavier says and for a moment I wondered who he was talking to. " I'm sorry
Azan-..."
"You were going to tell me that you moved on? It shouldn't be my concern anymore. It's your lif-..."
"I was married way before I met you."-he says after cutting me off.
"Huh?"-I probably didn't hear him correctly.
"Azania I swear I was going to te-..."
"You wanted me to spill my whole tin of beans while you just listened and said nothing about this? I told
you shit I've never told many poeple out here because I trusted you. I thought you wanted to know all
my chapters because yours were wide open too! Oh my gosh...So I'm the stupid one here who got
played by a married man all along?"-I say not believing this.
For the first time in ever it actually mattered to me that the guy I fucked was married. It stung deep and
it was heart numbingly painful really. He wasn't mine even from the start.
"Please give me a chance to explain myself."-him. The mother keeps on passing glances from me to her
son probably trying to figure out why his son is conversating with a black woman.
"I'm not stopping you."-I say and officially throw both my bags into the car and cross my hands in front
of my chest.
"Son!"-the woman. I nearly give her a look. He ignores her too.
"I've been married for 10 years now and well things on my side have not been working out. She on the
other hand thinks that we can mend our ways and relationship but no. I served her with divorce papers
almost a year ago and she's been doing everything in her power to avoid signing."-He says and this right
here should've been my moment of forgiviness and understanding but none of that happened. In fact I
felt even angrier than before.
"I'm serious about the love I have for you Azania Mnguni. I hate that I kept this from you."-he adds
before attempting to hold my shoulders but I back away. "Azania please."
"Xavier I need to go okay. I need to start afresh somewhere else where I can stand on my own two feet.
Live me and do me. Maybe after that will I find a genuine loving man who'll take me as I am. "-I lie.
I'm never trying love ever again!
"It has been a pleasure too meet you ma'am even under the circumstances."-I say giving her a small
smile and focus back on Xavier. My nearly short self manages to peck his stubbly cheek before turning
and getting into the SUV.
He doesn't stop me even when I close the door and I'm grateful.
No I'm not!
And now I was officially angry that he didn't stop me. He gave up. Well...I'm blaming this invader for that
too. If he wasn't here I'd be thinking a little more logical.
It was when I turned to look out of the window when I felt a gentle kick in my belly.
Sheesh!
Another and another and once again I...I... I don't know actually.
"Drive Sam."-I tell him and not a lot of time later he does that. I heave out a sigh before sitting back on
this seat hugging myself. This was the 3rd time I actually left him. Yes I've been counting.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Xavier's POV.
"Where are you going Xavier!?"
"Somewhere."-I answer vaguely as I made my way downstairs.
"Xavier get back here this instance!"-Melissa yells from the top of the stairs as I was about to reach the
bottom. I was pissed at her. She never mentioned a lady calling me saying that I'm loved. I knew it was
Azania. Melissa didn't even bother because she was apparently upset that someone said that to her
while we were still seen as one in the eyes of the law.
"Xavier! Xavier!"
"What!?"-I snap turning back to look at her. My fists clenched tightly as I controlled myself from hitting
her...not that I ever did that.
"What is the meaning of this? We were still talking."-She says standing in front of me.
"No Melissa you were still talking."
"Xavier please let's just work through this and conquer it like every other obsticle we've faced."-She
pleads already cupping my face in her hands. I shook my head grabbing both her wrists and removing
her hands from my face.
"I'm done with all of this Melissa I've been done with you since you felt like it was alright to fuck my
buddy Josh and have 2 kids with him."-I say still holding her wrists.
"I said I'm sorry."-she says irritated.
"Me too I'm sorry for believing you were my forever. Now I know you aren't even close to that."-me.
"Xavier don't do this please...I've changed."-she says and I chuckle.
"Good for you sweety. Now I have to be somewhere and when I return you better be gone."-me. I let go
of her wrists and turn to make my way to the door.
"You're going to see that skank aren't you!"-Melissa yells and I yell back a "Most definetly sweety!"
Before shutting the door behind me.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
20
Chapter 20
Xavier's POV.
I parked right outside that huge building with a billion thoughts jogging through my mind. I couldn't
think straight but the only thing ringing in my head was I had to find out where she moved to. Hopefully
someone in here knew or would atleast give me a hint of where I'd be able to find her. You could say I
was desperate here because what I felt for her was now beyond my control. I wanted her to be mine
and I was determined to get her.
I knock on the door twice before hearing an "I'm coming!".
The door opened and a lady I've never seen before comes into view. Is it weird that I still expected
Azania to answer the door even though she was already far far away?
The lady folds her arms in front of her chest before giving me a look. It's only then that I noticed what
she was dressed in...okay who am I kidding? She's practically naked. Short-shorts which I knew for a fact
reavealed her buttcheeks and a lace bra which revealed inappropriate peaks. I clear my throat focusing
on the look on her face.
"Yes? What do you want? You know we closed down right? No more pussy is sold here."-She says.
I frown. I wasn't even here for that.
"Im looking for Azania."-me.
"Azania? She doesn't live here anymore."
"Uhmm...mind telling me where she moved to?"-I ask already getting my phone out to write down the
adress.
"Why would I even give you that? What are you to her?"
I heave out a sigh. This is going to take forever isn't it?
"I'm her boyfriend."-She breaks out in laughter to the point where she holds her stomach. I watched her
and waited for her to finish.
"Oh my gosh you're serious?"-She wipes her tears of laughter before trying to regain her posture again.
" You? A white guy with a thing like Azania?"
I keep quiet.
"Look. Whatever you have with her I hope you know she is playing you. You and I both know that she
went to fuck another man in some other place further from here. So spare yourself the time and focus
on other people around you."-This chick says.
"Playing me?"-I chuckle.
"Yeah she is. I'm sure she told you the same sob story she tells everyone to get your heart melting. I'm
also sure she has already digged her claws deep into your back and pockets."-She says with a nasty look
on her face. I knew she was lying and that just made me angrier.
How dare she talk about my woman like that?
"Uhmm...tramp or whatever your name is-..."
"It's Nomvelo. But for you baby it's Nomz."-She says after cutting me short.
Still sounded like tramp to me.

"Like I said whatever your name is I'll let you know about something your stupid self probably didn't
know. Azania my girl hasn't even asked me for a cent. Her claws have digged into my back and may I say
it felt so damn good."-I smirked as I recalled our amazing sessions. " Now tramp do you or do you not
know where Miss Mnguni went to?"
She shrugged before sighing.
"It's pathetic really how you could just turn down good pussy like mine like that. I mean like look at
me...I'm all that... Good round tits..."-I watch her reach for the straps of her bra slowly and pulls on them
while biting on her bottom lip. When the straps are separated the thin fabriced lace number's cups fall
forward and reveal what she had mentioned earlier. "... My ass is even firmer and nicer on close-up."-
she motions forward and stands in front of me. My fists tighten at the thought of how embarrassing this
actually is.
She really thinks I'm weak?
"I can show you a very good time if you let me...plus I'm not pregnant for a rapist."-She says and I glare
at her instantly.
"What did you just say?"

She chuckles resting her hands on my shoulders bringing her body even closer to mine. "You heard me.
That whore of yours fucken slept with our second in command and got knocked up."-She narrates.
I don't know Azania that well but what I do know is that she'd never do such on purpose...
Come to think of it...that phonecall where she ended things with me didn't sound right.
I should've known!
What have they put my baby through?!
"So are you interested?"-This tramps asks me smirking deviously and I just chuckle.
"No thank you."-I remove her hands from my shoulders. "Cover yourself not all of us want your pussy.
And one more thing you will never ever speak about Azania the way you did here today or there will be
serious consequences."-I roar firmly.
I leave heading to the guards and wonder if they would atleast hint me of where she went to...
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Azania's POV.
This room is better than what it looked like in the pictures and in the discription. I had a small kitchen a
bathroom with both a bathtub and shower a bedroom and a small sitting area. I was helped with all my
things and now there were boxes bags and other things everywhere that needed my attention and
effort. I honesty didn't feel like doing anything here yet but sit and be busy with my phone.
"Well invader look at us now. From a fancy palace to this. I don't even have a couch."-I say rubbing my
belly and earn one of those kicks I experienced earlier. I'm probably getting kicked for complaining too
much but would you blame me? This was a bit of a downgrade honestly. "Where did I...?"-I trail off
searching for something I could sit on. I end up changing into pajamas and slippers.
I sighed before settling on top of my bed. I made a mental note to start unpacking a few stuff at around
13h00. For now I ordered some food and dessert...
I checked my none existing messages and scrolled through Facebook. Time flew by too quickly cause
there was a knock on the door. "Our food invader!"-I basically jumped off the bed and sprinted to the
door.
"Who is it?"-me. Well duh!

"Delivery ma'am."-The voice on the other side answered.
You should've seen how quickly I opened that door.
"That will be R15000 ma'am."-the male says and I stuff a R200 in his hand before taking the take away.
"Thank you. Keep the change."-I shut the door and lock it.
Sheesh!
My mouth was watering already before I settled back on the bed and unpacked every meal in front of
me.
"Oh yes..."-I take the burger into my hold and devour on the heaven sandwich.
Gosh.
This so not me.
The dessert disappeared just as quick as the Burger did and the fullness I felt right after that has
somewhat a hint of regret. I clean up there and decide on moving some of the boxes to my room. I start
unpacking and packing a few of my clothes in the provided wardrobe. I put the dirty ones aside and soon
after put them in my laundry basket. Satisfied I remove the empty boxes and go put then by the kitchen
which still needed eating utensils and other kitchen things.
I heave out a sigh before putting on some music on my phone and packed out the things I already had.
The small coffee table I bought myself a few weeks back made me notice the necessity of a couch or
two. I'd probably settle on buying just one two seater since I'll be living alone.
I sigh again realising that this will be the first time I'll be living on my own with no one around. It felt
weird but the freedom I'd get from this surely would be rewarding...right?
There's a knock on the door that stops me from my sweeping duty. I have a visitor already?
"Who is it?"-I ask standing by the door ear on it so I could hear properly.
"Ghana."-a male voice replies causing me to frown.

Ghana?
I open the door cautiously and peek out to see a dark man standing firmly at my doorstep. He smiles
revealing a perfect set of teeth. Okay.
"Can...I help you?"-I open the door wider.
"As I've said I'm Ghana. I'm your neighbour."
"Oh? Uhmm..."-He sticks his hand out for me to shake and I just look at it. I'm not shaking his hand.
"O...ka..y... I was wondering if you'd like to join us for a celebration tomorrow evening. It's something
small for all the flatmates here and seeing to the fact that you're new here..."-He trailes off and
chuckles. "... I'm talking too much aren't I?"
I nod. This is a good opportunity though. Maybe I can click with someone from here and not be so alone.
But then again the other side of me didn't want to talk and meet new people. Plus Im pregnant and I
look and feel like a pig. Ghana reaches for the pocket of his shirt and retrieves a piece of paper. "This is a
copy of the original invitation card. Be there."-He gives me the paper and turns to leave me alone again
in this building. I looked around and down the aisle of this floor.
Sheesh.
I close and lock my door. Am I ready for a party or whatever this is? I shake my head and read the piece
of paper. "All black party. Time 18h00. Location Ghana's flat you'll see."-I'll see?
These people must know that I may a party pooper tomorrow.
-------------------------------------------------------
Your girl woke up on a lighter mood today. I even went to town got my nails done -a nude beauty that
had me wondering how I'd be able to do my cleaning job- and cut my natural hair people. I felt different
honestly and I liked it. I didn't realise how different it would actually be waking up in your own space.
After doing some shopping for the party and a few other things I would be able to transport in the uber I
settle down for a late light lunch. I ate in peace and afterwards went to my apartment.
At around 16h30 I went to take a shower. I couldn't believe that I was actually going to this stupid
celebration and I honestly blame invader here. The nerve of this baby!
I stepped out of the shower satisfied and fresh. I dry my body and head to my room and search for my
lotion. When I finally find it I lotion and put my new knee high dress on. It's a loose fitted one because
invader here kind of had taste. I do my make up and comb my short hair.
My phone rings all the way from the lounge and I rush to it hoping that it could be him but I get a kick of
disappointment when it's someone else's name there. Hypocritical right?
"Rendani."-I greet.
"You don't sound pleased...what's wrong?"-She asks.
"I'm sorry. I was just expecting a call from someone else."-I tell her in hopes that she'll understand. She
better understand.
"It's okay. I was just checking up on you since I know you moved out. How has it been?"
"Well it's refreshing honestly...even though the lack of furniture is uhmm..."-I look around my empty
lounge. "...very evident."
"True."-She laughs and our conversation carries on until I hear a knock on the door.
"Listen Rendani I have to go there's someone at the door."-I tell her.
"Sure. We'll talk. Byeeee."-She hangs up and I beam. She did remind me of Zama...just a little bit.
The knock comes again as I was making my way to the door.
"Who is it?"
"It's Ghana miss."

Oh...
I open and indeed there he stood looking dapper in his black jeans and black golf tshirt. He cleared his
throat before smiling. Those teeth!
"You look stunning."-he says and I blush almost instantaneously.
"Thank you Ghana...uhmm why are you here? I thought the party was happening at your flat."-I say and
he nods.
"It is happening there but I just came here to fetch you."
"Right."-I say and tell him to wait there at the door while I went to put on a pair of comfortable heels.
Black ones too to stay in theme. I found Ghana still standing by the door busy with his phone.
I'm only taking my phone since everything else will be unnecessary.
"We can go."-I say and again his smile is out to play.
"I did tell you you look stunning right?"-him.
I nod after giggling and reach for my keys. "Let's go."

I lock up and we walk to his apartment which was on the second floor. The music could be heard from
outside and it honestly sounded like fun in there already. When we arrived there I got a moment to take
in the scenery inside. I didn't think so many people would actually be here.
"You can go in."-Ghana says from behind me and that's when I actually walk in.
I felt...awkward. Usually Zama woul...you know what nevermind. "Relax make yourself at home. I'll be
back. Gel."-he says before I watch him walk off to a group of guys in here.
Okay.
Like a lost chicken I make my way to a table with lots of drinks on it. Mostly booze.
"I hope you're looking for something alcohol free."-A voice startles me as I was still searching for a
proper drink.
I turn to look at the female behind me. "I'm Alutha and you are?"
"I'm Azania and yes I am looking for something alcohol free."-was I really?
She reaches for a can of cola and offers it to me. Cola? Really? If this is what pregnancy entails then
sheesh this is never happening again. "Thanks."-I force a smile and take the cola from her. After a minor
struggle of opening the can she suggests I come meet her friends. Another group of stuck up looking
ladies. I braced myself as we got close and the fake smiles came out to play.
"Ladies. This is Azania. Azania sheesh this is never happening again. "Thanks."-I force a smile and take
the cola from her. After a minor struggle of opening the can she suggests I come meet her friends.
Another group of stuck up looking ladies. I braced myself as we got close and the fake smiles came out
to play.
"Ladies. This is Azania. Azania these are my friends. This is Chloe"-She says and points to a chubby
madame.
"Nice to meet you."-her.
"This is Millicent."-She points to a really...really tall lady with dark skin.
"You can just call me Milli cause girl I'm bound to be a millionaire."-she says her voice higher than I
expected.
You go girl!
I nearly roll my eyes.
"And lastly Thandeka."
"Good to meet you."-She smiles drunkenly. Didnt this party just start?
She's okay cute and all.
"Well Azania I'm curious to know what you do for a living cause you look gorgeous."-Milli says sipping on
her flying fish.
"Yeah I was also going to ask hey. The money and her pregnancy has her glowing it seems."-Chloe adds
and I sip on my cola.
"I'm a cleaner."
They gasp at the same time and I finally roll my eyes.
I haven't even started working there and I already hated it.
"A cleaner with nailes and an iphone?"-Thandeka States and I'm frowning.
"I'm also confused Ndeka where exactly do you clean? The white house?"-Alutha asks.
"Or at the well known Nkandla?"-Chloe.
They share a giggle among themselves before clicking their glasses together. I did say they look stuck up!
"Come on tell us."-Milli.
"I recently left my job and got this one."-I say and sip on my cola hoping we could talk about something
else.
"Mind telling us what you did before then?"-Milli.
Well then.
"I was a stripper slash everything nasty and unholy. "-I say and the looks on their faces is priceless.
"You mean...you were a prostitute?"-Alutha.
"Yep."-me. I knew they were already drawing up their own stories and theories in their minds about this
whole prostitution thing. I could've lied about this whole thing but honestly it was who I was and shying
away from that won't bring me anything but...stress?
"Wow uhmm that's intriguing."-Milli.
" I guess so."-me.
"Well uhmm...would you kindly excuse us we're just going to quickly dash on off to the bathroom."-
Chloe says and I nod not even bothering to smile or anything cause I knew that these ladies weren't
going to the bathroom to powder their noses or any of that. They were avoiding me and I was okay with
that. I watch them walk off in quite a hurry leaving me to chuckle to myself.
After filling my plate up with all the hors d'oeuvre that were on display I took my pregnant self to the
nearest unoccupied couch. Immediately after sitting I feasted on each of the delicious delicacies. From a
mini samoosa to the tiny cupcake. I even went for seconds that's how good these were... Or that's how
hungry I was. I'm not sure which is which but nonetheless I helped myself.
"You still okay?"-Ghana asked me as he came to sit next to me. I smiled and nodded. Those 4 ladies
came back ages ago and made sure to ignore me.
"Yeah. I'm great."-I told him and he nodded too drinking his beer.
"You know I never really got your name earlier..."-he trailes off before smiling that smile of his that
seemed to get to me.
"It's Azania."-I say and take my phone out. I wanted to check out my notifications and other stuff.
"That's a beautiful name. God is listening."-he says causing me to look up.
"Huh?"
"That's what your name means in Hebrew right?"-He half asks and I shrug focussing back on my phone.
"Something like that. What are you? Hebrew now?"-I ask.
"Well nope. And I'm fully South African actually even though my name makes me sound very foreign."-
He says and I snort. It's true. He did come off as being very foreign especially with a name like Ghana.
"I was bor-..." -He starts off but halts when he's called.
"Ghana come here bro!"-One male yells.

"Ayt!"-Ghana yells back before I sense him getting up. "I'll be back in a few."
I'm left with a good few minutes to myself before the seat next to me gets occupied again. "And why are
you sitting alone...at a party?"-the voice asks.
"Well I came here to fart."-I say dryly. How many more people are going to conversate with me tonight
and then dissapear to wherever?
I should've stayed at my apartment honestly because wow.
"You never seize to amaze me Spencer. You surely can be sarcastic."-he says and my body immediately
tenses as a cold delicious chill goes down my spine to my everywhere. I bit on the insides of my cheeks
and allow my eyes to widen with shock.
It can't be!
How did he-...?

When did h-...?
My gaze slowly rises and I instantly can't think straight. It really was him. In the flesh. And may I add that
he looked so handsome tonight as he leaned back on this couch. Silky hair combed back. Crisp white
shirt with a faded blue pair of jeans and on his feet something I wouldn't think he'd ever wear. A pair of
chuck taylors which were white. And finally his rare scent hit me and my happy hormones started doing
the tango. I don't know when I actually locked my phone but I did and I didn't regret doing that. I quickly
look around the room and noticed the stares we were getting. Some looked pleased some normal and
some weren't as pleasant while others just looked confused.
All the looks I'd expect a white man who has rebelled against the theme of this party to get especially
since he stood out like a sore thumb.
"What are you doing here? How did you even know I was here?"-I half shout at him in a whisper.
He stands up taking the empty plate out of my hold and puts it on the floor. "We need to talk."
"Talk? I don't have anything to say to you Xavier. "-I state getting up from the couch. -That took a while
too by the way.- "Please leave."
"I'm not going anywhere Azania."-He says his blue eyes intense. I look away unable to control the
emotions I was feeling.
"Fine then I'll leave."-me. I walk past him with ease but as soon as I'm past him I feel his grip on my wrist
and on my beads.
"Spencer please."
Is he forgetting where we actually are right now?
We're in public and he choses to do this right here?
I heave out a sigh before removing his hand from my wrist and hold it in mine. The stares got even
worse when I did that.
"Fine."-I make my way to the open door pulling him with me.
After unlocking my door I open it and switch on the light. I made sure he closed and locked.
"So you live here now?"-him.
"No I live across the street I mean that's why I just had the keys to myself to this apartment."
"That was a simple question baby."-He says and -God- invader is at it again pressing my blushing button
just at the mention of 'baby'.
"How did you know where to find me?"-me.
"I've got my ways."- him.
I roll my eyes and turn to walk off to my room. He's following me.
"Azania."
"What Xavier?!"-I snap. Why did I allow this man in here again?
"We need to be talking."
"No we don't."-I snap again.
"What do you mean 'No we don't' Azania?"-He snaps back at me and I fume. How dare he snap at me!
I'm the snapper here not us.
"I mean I'm done talking to you!"
"Well tough luck woman cause I'm not done talking to you."-he says and I halt noticing that I've actually
ran out of bedroom space to storm on off to. Heck I'm angry at this wall now for being here.
"Why are you pushing me away Azania? I told you everything about me and the miserable depressing
suffocating and ridiculous marriage I can't get out of. I said I'm sorry for keeping this from you but my
intentions are nothing but good."-he breathes and I'm at my whole cheek biting fest again. I don't want
to cry but knowing my current state I'll be in tears in seconds. "Azania I've done nothing but show you
love. I've never even felt this much affection for someone like I do for you. Why do you hate me this
much for you not to even want to see me anymore? Am I not enough for you Azania? Am I not your
type? Do I smell ba-..."
"No Xavier."-I breathe out sighing deeply. Why is he married then if he claims he's never felt this much
affection for another?
Zimu!
I'm an emotional mess! "It's not any of those. I don't know what's wrong with me. But...what will
happen if you get tired of me? What then? Will you also leave me?"-me.
There's silence in the room and I sigh. Love is draining me already.
"Xavier. I've been pushing you away for obvious reasons.I don't want to burden you or to have you
pitying me. I'm a lost cause with a terrible history an-..."
"None of that crap matters to me Azania."

"It does to me though Xavier!"-I snap turning around to face him again.
"Why?!"-he snaps back.
Zimu give me strength!
By now he's standing right in my space.
Breathing me in.
I swallow trying to get rid of the lump in my throat.
"Because I love you and I don't want to hurt you."- my voice has suddenly lost it's fire. "I don't want you
waking up one day and realise you've made a mistake."
"Spenc-..."
"Xavier pleas-..."-the next thing I feel is his plump lips on mine. Me being me I tried continuing with my
quarrel but he didn't let me go. Hands on my waist...He tamed me...
Zimu.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
21
Chapter 21
♡
He pulled out of the kiss leaving me pouting and somewhat thirsty. I feel him rest his forehead on mine.
I think we stood there for like a good minute or two before I opened my eyes to find him staring. That
kind of made me...self conscious?
His eyes looked pained if not distant. They even looked lighter then usual. What was he thinking now? I
was in a desperate need to know.
Curiosity killed Azania...
"Who..."-he stated in a gruff voice before clearing his throat.
"Who what?"-Me.
See? Curiosity!
"Who cut your wrists Azania?"-his voice is firm yet pained. I swallow hard and look away.
Why didn't I cover these up anyway?

"No one."
"What do you mean no one cut your wrists? You weren't born like this."-he says and I find his blue eyes
piercing into me. I hate it when he does that because it feels intimidating.
"I don't want to talk about it."-I utter and step away from him but he steps forward again making my
escape completely useless. "Xavier..."
"Tell me Azania. I want to...I need to know."-he says.
"No you don't now can we please drop this."-me.
Again he's staring at me and this time around I try and keep up with his whole staring game until he
eventually looks away sighing angrily. I watch him walk to my bathroom before I hear a knock on the
door. Xavier freezes before he even reaches the bathroom door but soon after continues inside and
closes the door behind him.
Look at him acting as if he lives here.
The nerve of this white man!

The knock on the door is heard again and I rush to attend it. "Who is it?"
"Ghana."-The voice on the other end answers.
And what does he want? I open the door and meet with his good looking self who flashes his amazing
smile. "Hey you."
"What's up?"-Me.
"You just left without saying goodbye."-he says stuffing his hands deep into his pockets.
"Oh...sorry about that something came up."
"You mean that white guy?"-Ghana asks causing me to give him a look.
"White guy?"-I knew he was talking about Xavier but the fact that he said 'white guy'...made me want to
start a fight. Only I am allowed to call him a white guy.
"Yeah. The one you left with. Is he your boyfriend?"
"Uhmm-..."-Me.
"Yes yes I am."-I hear Xavier speak from behind me and I turn to face him.
Sheesh.
My eyes nearly drop to the ground when I see a half naked Xavier standing in front of us. A towel
wrapped around his waist making it hard not to focus on his perfect body structure. What's going on
here?
"Who's this baby?"-Xavier.
Sheesh!
"This...this is Ghana. He lives around here."-I say and avert my eyes from danger but cringe in delicious
fear when he stands next to me sneaking a hand around my waist.
"Okay. My love your bath awaits. Come before it gets cold."-He utters and I bite hard on the insides of
my cheeks. He's ignoring Ghana isn't he?
"Ba...bath?"-My lips quiver before he nods and turns his head towards Ghana who was still standing
outside.
"Ghana right?"-Xavier.
"Yes."-Ghana.
"Yeah... Bye."-Xavier says before shutting the door closed and locks it.
My mouth hangs open stunned. "Xavier that was rude."-me.
"Yeah and so is preparing a hot bath for someone only for it to run cold. "-He says with a straight face.
"Now come."-He takes my hand into his and leads the way to my bathroom. The bathtub is indeed filled
with water and it looks beyond relaxing...even with its forced foam.
"Someone still needs to buy a lot of things around here."-he says. The guy hasn't even been here for
longer than an hour but he's already stating the obvious.
"Aren't you leaving?"-me.
The look he has on his face is an obvious answer and I don't know how to feel about it.
"Can you atleast turn around?"-Me.
"You want me to turn around?"-Him.
"I wouldn't have asked you to turn around if I didn't want you to turn around."
"But I don't want to turn around."
"Xavier please..."
"What's the point Spencer? I've already seen you naked and it's quite a pretty sight."-He says before
unwrapping his towel and dropping it to the floor. "Fine I'll turn around."-He smirks sheepishly and I
swallow hard.
He turns around and...
What a firm sexy ass!
Wow...what's my mind even doing right now?
"Did you really have to drop the towel Xavier?"
He chuckles. "Yes my love."
Why am I blushing?
I remove the black dress I was wearing. Followed by my bra and lastly my grandma undies. I think these
were the main reason for making him turn around because they've been a part of my closet ever since a
month ago. Don't look at me like that... They're comfortable.
I step into the tub and the water rises a little. I clear my throat and for the first time he looks my way
since I've been naked. "You can come in."-my voice is low.
"Finally!"-he emphasises before I move forward and he steps in behind me. He sits and pulls me closer
to him.
Skin to skin.
He rests his hands on my belly and invader kicks.
The nerve!
"Well well well atleast someone appreciates my presence."-Xavier says and I chuckle.
"Invader is just being dramatic."-I mumble.
"Invader? That's cute...and a little harsh don't you think?"-Xavier.
"And so is shutting doors in front of people's faces."
"I don't like that Ghana guy. He's a bit creepy."-Xavier.
"Creepy? How?"
"He just is baby and I'm sure invader over here would agree with me."-he says and indeed invader kicks
in response. The nerve! Xavier chuckles rubbing on my belly. "I think I'm going to enjoy this invader
business."
I remove his hands from my belly and place them on the sides of the bathtub. I didn't like the fact that
he could probably get attached to this thing. "What was that for? I was still bonding with the little guy."
"Well not anymore."-me.
"How far are you?"-he asks me and I roll my eyes. We're really going to focus on this thing aren't we?
"Uhmm...6 months."
"And did you check out the gender?"-him.
Zimu!
"Uhmm...no."-my voice is low.
"You want it to be a suprise?"
"Yeah whatever floats your boat."-me.
"Okay...what's going on here? Why are you so...so negative about invader especially since he's a part of
you?"-he asks me.
"This thing will never be a part of me Xavier. As soon as I birth it I'm giving it away to someone who
actually will give a flying shit about it."
"What?!"-he half shouts but I remain unshaken.
"I'm not keeping a child who'll remind me of Tiger every single day of my life."
"Tiger? You mean the one who was the whatever at that palace you worked at?"-he asks and I keep
quiet. He knows the answer to that. "Wait so you slept with Tiger?"
"Why the fuck would I sleep with Tiger?"-I fume angrily and for the first time since I returned from that
hell I see him in my mind and it makes me sick.
"I-..."
"I made a promise to you Xavier that I wouldn't sleep with anyone else in Dubai!"
"I'm sorr-..."
"Or you think I slept with him before I slept with you? Is that what you think!"-I'm a fuming mess and
before I know it I'm on my feet in this tub. I turned to look at him now completely ignoring the fact that
not so long ago I didn't want him seeing me naked.
"Azania!"-he shouts.
"Is that what you really think of me Xavier? That because I was a whore I couldn't keep my legs clo-..."
"That is enough Azania!"-He shouts at me and stands up taking my shoulders into his hold. "That is not
what I meant baby."
"No Xavier."-I yield fighting his hands off my shoulders but he returns them there soon enough.
"Woman! I'm sorry okay...it's just that there's just something about this baby that makes me want to be
there for it and it feels like its calling out for me."-He says and sighs heavily. I watch as his fists clench
hard on the sides of my shoulders.
Well invader atleast someone likes you after all...
"You know ever since my ex wife told me that I was infertile after I had DNA tests done on my ki-..."
"Wait what?!"-I cut him short my ears probably not functioning properly since they were listening to
crap now-now. There's a long moment of silence as the only thing I want to do is cry long and hard for
him. "What?...Xavier you can't-... No...no..."
I rest my moist palms on his stubbly cheeks and search for the blue eyes that always bore into my skull.
This time I wanted them to look at me and when I finally found them they were light like earlier. Sadness
overccame him and that was not my intention with this.
"Xavier."-my voice sounds raw.
"I have to go."-He steps out of the tub and grabs his towel from the ground.
"Xavier wait."-I climb out of the tub and follow behind him. I find him getting dressed. "Please don't go I
beg you. I don't want you to go. Please Xavier."
"What's the point of me staying here if we're going to keep on arguing about everything?"
"Don't you want to argue with me?"-Me.
That was stupid.
"Not like this. Not about the fact that I can't have kids. Not about your past. I want us to talk like grown
ups who have sense. "-he says. "I sure as hell did not come all the way here to argue with the woman I
love. That's what I have Suzanné for."
I look down. Who's Suzanné now?
"Suzanné is my very competitive sister. She loves picking fights with me. You'll meet her soon enough. "-
He chuckles lightly.
"If...you're infertile than why did you...ask me if the baby was yours?"-Awkward timing but I had to
know. I look up.
"I guess it was a glimmer of impossible hope."-He breathes out and stops buttoning his shirt. "I don't
want things to be awkward between us about this."
I hug myself. Somehow I had hoped it could be his especially since I slept with him without protection.
The time when I thought I did take my injection. And now since they were the only ones who hit it raw I
thought that...Argh!
Zimu why do you hate me like this?!
"Hey...why are you crying?"-Xavier asks
"I'll tell you but for now can we just sleep? I have to be at work tomorrow."-I say and watch as he nods.
"Are the three of us going to fit in this single bed of yours?"-Him. I chuckle taking a look at the lonely
single bed.
"Errrr...well we'll just have to snuggle real close then ."-I say and move towards it. He opens the sheets
and I contemplate whether sleeping naked is an option. It isn't. I'm not as ready as I think I am.
I feel him move closer resting his hand on my nightdress covered belly. I don't even know if he approved
of this at all but one thing for sure is that he didn't complain. Which I appreciated.
"Xavier..."-I called out in the midst of our comfortable silence.
"Mhmm?"-he replied sleepily.
"I...I cut my own wrists..."
---------------------------------------------------------------
I step out of the shower. I am late all because of invader and his I-love-sleeping tendencies. I quickly dry
my body lotion and pick out an outfit fit for a taxi ride and quick changing when I get to work. I still have
no idea how I'm going to be cleaning with nails but I'm doing it anyway. I comb and decide on leaving
out my make up. First day on the job and already I don't look presentable. How dare I?
I grab my purse and phone and head towards the lounge area where I find a chilled looking Xavier
seated on a chair eating something out of my new bowls. I frown. I thought he left.
"I thought you left."-I utter and unzip my purse to count the money for the taxi I was taking.
"You thought wrong. Breakfast?"-He offers me a bowl that rested on my coffee table.
"No thanks I'm running late and you should leave. I want to lock up."-I count just enough money for this
taxi and sigh out in relief.
"Azania you have to have breakfast."
"What part of I'm running late do you not understand?"-I give him a look.
He stands up taking his empty bowl and walks in a chilled manner to the kitchen.
Oh come on!
He's doing this on purpose isn't he?
When he returns I notice he has his keys in his hand and his phone. He takes the bowl on the coffe table
and walks to me. "We can go."
"Because of you I just lost a good 5 minutes that I could've used for finding a taxi!"-I half yell.
"Don't worry I'm taking you to work."
"What? No you have to go to your workpla-..."-me.
"If we stand here and argue you'll be even later than what you are now. "-He says after cutting me off.
"Now asambe. (Let's go)"
I think I froze for a minute when he said 'asambe'. Like where did you pick that up mlungu?
I eventually went with him eating the breakfast oatmeal he had prepared for me to eat. Accompanied by
sugar butter and milk. I bought it -the oats- but I was set on reading the instructions and finding my way
around it but it seems Xavier over here has it figured out.
"Sooooo...baby I'll be fething you at 14h00"-he says bringing the car to a complete halt in front of a huge
building. It is then that I notice we're at my workplace. How he knew where I was hired is still a mild
question in my head but I'll save that for later.
It's 08h46 I'll be fething you at 14h00"-he says bringing the car to a complete halt in front of a huge
building. It is then that I notice we're at my workplace. How he knew where I was hired is still a mild
question in my head but I'll save that for later.
It's 08h46 almost 9h00.
I sigh. "I guess I'll see you then. Thanks for the ride."-me.
I give him the very clean bowl and reached for the door. But I keep my hand there.
"Xavier I'm nervous."

"That's normal baby."-he says putting my bowl in the backseat. " Come. I'll walk you in."
We walk out. He takes my hand into his and leads me in. My heart is pounding hard against my chest.
That oatmeal may make its journey back up again. I can't believe a cleaning job is making me this
nervous. The stares!
At the reception area I spot a lady dressed in a blazer. Blonde wig on her head and pink lipstick on her
lips. We stop in front of her and I clear my throat. "Uhmmm...hi. "
"Morning how can I help you?"-The lady.
"I...uh...I'm here for...uhmm...the job...I mean my job. You know the occupation of uhmm...you know..."-
what the heck am I saying?
Xavier is snorting next to me suppressing a deadly laugh. I shoot him a stare and he instantly stops but
the humoristic look doesn't go away.
"Zandile my baby over here is trying to say that she's here for her job."-Xavier.
Zandile? Oh. Name tag.
"Ohhh...is she one of the new cleaners?"-the lady.
"Yes yes she is."-Xavier.

Well hello!
"Okay. Welcome Mrs...?"-the lady.
"It's Miss Mnguni."-me.
"Okay. Uhmm Doris!"-the lady.
"Yes?"-an elderly woman answers.
"Can you please show Miss Mnguni to the locker rooms and give her a fresh uniform pair."-the lady.
"Okay. Woza mntwanami (Come my child.)"-Doris.
Sheesh.
There's that kick from invader since this whole morning.
Xavier turns my head and makes me face him. "14h00."

"14h00?"-me.
"That's the time I'll be fetching you at."-he murmurs and I nod. He pecks my lips and says his goodbyes
before leaving me with a R200 note I didn't ask for. Does this man think I'm broke or something?
Right...anyway.
I turn to follow Doris as she leads the way to a bunch of stairs. We go to an underground floor where she
opens a large green door and walks in. Inside there are countless lockers some with locks and some
without any.
"This will be your new locker."-She hands me a key with a number 36. " You can buy a new lock if you
want but this one is yours to keep. You new uniform is inside. I'll give you 5 minutes to change and meet
me at the bottom of the stairs okay?"
I nod "Yes Ma'am."
After changing as quick as I could I find myself stashing my phone and purse in my locker. I find Doris at
the bottom of the stairs and force a confident smile. She has with her a whole yellow bucket with
detergents in it.
Crap!
How did I get this job again?
"Let's go."-I follow her back all the way to the ground floor and then to an elevator. 2nd floor...3rd
floor...4th floor...5th floor.... And the elevator doors open. "Come."-I follow her until we reach the end
of the passage. A door. Mr Montanga.
"You'll be cleaning at this floor with another lady called Angel. You will clean and organize these 4 offices
and also down this whole passage. At the end of the passage there are 2 bathrooms. Male and female
bathrooms. You clean those too understood?"-Doris asks and I nod again.
What the heck am I doing?!
"Here's your bucket there's water at the bathroom and two remote buckets mops and feather dusters.
Use them. I'll leave you to it then. "-she says and leaves me.
I heave out a sigh before fetching some water in one of the remote buckets. I take a mop and a duster.
Inside Mr Montanga's office I pour in some detergent into the water. I find a new pair of cleaning gloves
in there too and put them on.
I was busy organising the table when the door opened and a man entered. Ghana. My eyes went wide.
This is the same guy Xavier shut the door on last night.
His surname is Montanga?
"Azania?"-him. "What a small world we live in you're one of our new cleaners?"
"It seems so. "-I reply stacking his papers into a neat pile.
"I actually need a file in here. It's blue have you seen it?"-he asks and I search for it since I did see two.
"Here."-I offer him the two but he takes the thickest one.
"Thank you. I have a meeting in five. I'm out. Happy cleaning."
Happy cleaning?
He shuts the door leaving me alone again.

At lunch I find myself at those stairs again snacking on a packet of Simba chips that I bought from a
vending machine. This is not what I wanted to eat though.
The last 2 hours felt even longer than the hours before. I went to change and I was ready to leave.
Xavier came at exactly 14h00 and I didn't complain.
"Hi."-me.
"Hey baby."-him.
We didn't talk further than that so I kept myself occupied with my phone searching for a platform to sell
my art. Yes. I was considering that.
Pixapp...
Artnet...
Saatchi Art...
Amazon...
Okay this is going to be harder than I thought. I end up going into Amazon and do my thing since it was
the only one that sounded familiar.
Minutes later we park in front of a furniture shop. " Come."-he says stepping out of the car.
"What are we doing here. I'm hungry."-I open my door stepping out. I try keeping up with him as he
walks inside.
"We're getting you a couch fridge and a proper stove miss."
"A stove? A fridge? I'll still have to budget for that."-me
"Budget?"
"Well duh. I can't just spend money I don't have yet."
"Who said anything about you spending?"-him. He leaves me standing at the door stunned. What is this
man doing?
I watch as he starts talking to another man.
Sheesh.
After signing up and thinking of which of my paintings to sell -which was the hardest thing ever- I settle
on a couch. Not long after I sit down he comes and takes my hand. "And then?"
"Let's go "-him.
"Go where? Aren't we buying my couch?"
"We did but now let's go. "
He helps me up and we leave.
"We did?"-me. I climb on in the car.
"Yes babe."
"Xavier this is madness."
"Madness?"
"Yes madness don't tell me you just bought what you just said you're going to buy."
"What if I did?"
"Xavier!"
"What?"-he asks shrugging and takes a left turn.
"Why would you do that?!"-me.

"Why would I not? Don't tell me we're going to be fighting all because I saved you cash and did this free
willingly."
"That's not the point Xavier."
"What's the point then babe? Make me get it."
Why is he not shouting?
"I...I wanted to be independent."-I utter before hearing him sigh heavily.
"Baby I get that but I don't see a problem with what I just did."
Argh...fine!
I shut up and look out of the window rubbing on my belly trying to calm down invader. Crap. Minutes
later we park in front of a garage. There's another car parked next to us. I hear him step out and seconds
later my door opens. "Come angry Spencer."
"This is not my apartment Xavier."

"You said you were hungry didn't you?"-he asks.
"No."-I lie but my stomach betrays me by growling. Invader!
I don't blame her though because I've only had oats and Simbas to eat since today started. I wanted to
say more but decided against it. I should learn how not to fight him.
He helps me out and we make our way to the front door. He doesn't even knock and walks right in
ushering me in.
"Suzanné!"-he calls out. It smells like food in here. Suzanné is the sister right? Yes.
Wait he did say I'll be meeting her soon. This is soon? Soon is today? A day after? Oh my gosh!
"Suzanné! Venire (Come)!"-him.
"I'm coming!"-A voice yells back. Soon enough a brunette goddess comes running down the stairs. She's
so skinny!
"Albert!"-her.
Albert?
"You know I hate that name."-Xavier says.

I snort. Xavier Albert King?
"Azania you're not laughing at me are you?"-he asks me.
"Your second name is Albert?"-I chuckle and that opens up the gates of laughingville.
Wow.
"Is she Azania?"-Suzanné.
"In the flesh. She's beautiful right?"-him.
I blush. I can't believe I can still do that.
"Absolutely Albie...I'm Suzanné. The first born. Yes I'm older than him."-she hugs me. "And your baby
bump is adorable!"
"Uhmm...thank you."-she lets me go.
"Let me go check on my pots real quick I'll be back."
"FYI she's older by just a year."-Xavier.

"Your second name is Albert?"-me. I had to.
"I hate that name but yes it is."-I supress my laughter.
"I'm sorry for laughing but...Albert."-me.
"I'm okay with it really...as long as you're laughing and not crying I'm okay."-He says and kisses my
forehead. That safe feeling comes back again. "I missed your laugh."
"I-..."-me.
" I hope Azania is not allergic to nuts because my dessert has nuts in it."-Suzanné interrupts me. I face
her and shake my head.
"She isn't."-Xavier answers for me.
"Great let me get us some drinks."-She says and turns to make her way back to the kitchen. Xavier pulls
me close again grinning from ear to ear. My belly is in the way! Oblivious to the fact that her sister could
still be watching us he kisses my forehead once more.
"Oh yeah Albie I kind of forgot to mention that mom is coming here with Melissa."-Suzanné says and
Xavier immediately tenses up. I on the other hand just panic.
Suzanné said mom. And Suzanné's mom is Xavier's mom. Which means Xavier's mom is coming here.
This is the same woman I ignored when she asked a 1000 questions that day I left the palace.
Crap!
I am not ready for this...
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
22
Chapter 22
♡
♡
"What do you mean Mom is coming here with Melissa? Why would she even come here with Melissa?"-
Xavier shouts bringing me out of my thoughts. He loosens his hold around me and half launches towards
Suzanné. "You know I hate Melissa...!"
"I'm sorry okay I invited mom and she bought up the whole 'I'm bringing Xavier's wife along' story and
you know I don't like fighting mom...especially since we nearly lost her again."-Suzanné says and my
heart stops for a moment.
Xavier's mother is bringing the wife who I've concluded is Mel...yeah her. I don't like her already.
"Fuck that we're leaving."-He turns back and comes marching towards me.
"What? No Albie you can't just leave and run away from Melissa forever."
"I'm not running Anne!"
"Then what are you doing?"-She asks and my eyes go to a stationery Xavier.
"I'm saving my baby from unnecessary drama. We are pregnant after all remember?"-he takes my hand
into his and attempts on pulling me towards the door.
"Xavier we're not going anywhere. "-I find myself blurting out.
Eh.
"I'm hungry and right now I'm craving what my nostrils are smelling. "
"See Azania wants to stay."-Suzanné says. Xavier looks at Suzanné and shakes his head.
"Anne I don't think this is a good idea."-Xavier.
"Xavier I can handle myself."-I say to him. No bitch formed against me shall prosper. I know I left the
palace and it's tendencies but the palace and it's tendencies haven't left me...yet.
I find myself smiling and turn to look at Suzanné. "I'll have some juice please."-me. Suzanné nods and
walks out leaving Xavier and I alone.
"Are you insane?!"-he half shouts at me.
"If not being afraid of your stupid ex is being insane then yes I'm insane Xavier. The only person I'll fear
here is your mom and not some hoe who won't sign a stupid piece of paper."-me. He squeezes my hand
gently before the front door shoots open and a blonde walks in followed by Xavier's mom. She's dressed
in a vivid yellow summers dress and sandals. Her hair is in short rich curls with look amazingly taken care
of. The blonde wore shorts and a tank top showing off her toned body. Her hair was in a neat ponytail.
"Xavier honey!"-blondie exclaims rushing to us and throws herself onto Xae. He squeezed my hand
tighter than before and that shocks me a little.
"Xae my hand..."-I half whisper and he loosens the grip a little before letting me go. The mother is quiet.
"Oh Xae you hired your sister a new maid. How generous of you but that's weird a pregnant maid?"-
Melissa.
I give her a look. From cleaner to maid.
Wow. Your life Azania.
"What's her name? Thandi? Sophie? Poppy?"-Melissa.
"Ngizoshaya umuntu la (I'll beat someone up here.)"-I say and fold my arms in front of my chest.
"Oh look she also speaks that gibberish that they all speak. Well maid go get me a drink."-Melissa says
and I chuckle before hearing Suzanné walk back into her lounge carrying a tray of drinks her smile
immediately fades.
"Mommy Melissa. Hey."-she puts her tray on her glass coffee table.
"Suzie you didn't tell me we had another visit that's going to be present here. She looks familiar
though."-Xavier's mom says coming towards us.
"She is mom. Remember the girl who was leaving and..."-Xavier.
"And you two happened to ignore me like I was none existing."-Xavier's mom says after interrupting his
sentence.
So...she still remembers.
"I'm sorry for that."-me.
I rest my hands by my side and sigh heavily before feeling Xavier's hands on my shoulders. "I think it's
best we eat now don't you think Anne?"-he asks.
"Yes...Azania can you come help me in the kitchen?"-Suzanné asks me and I nod.
"I don't mind helping you Anne..."-Melissa says.
"No thanks Melissa Azania and I will manage."-Suzanné says and we both make our way to the kitchen
with me taking a sip of my juice that I took from the tray Suzanné brought along. I'm amused. I'm sure
these two were close but now...
Her kitchen looks like something that you would see in a magazine honestly. Crisp white floors with
blood red cupboards. I'm not even going to mention the stove.
"You can garnish the potato salad for me with the chives."-she says and I do so immediately. "So...how
old are you?"
"Me. I just turned 25."
"Gone are those days when I was still 25. The fact that I'm aready reaching my thirties is terrifying."-Suz.
"Are you married?"-me. I'm trying to keep the conversation going.
"Yes I am. My husband is in New York and my son too."-Suz says and puts another bowl on her counter. I
put the one I was busy with on the counter too. "Can I say something?"
No.
"Sure go ahead."-I look at her .
"Xavier...are you serious about him?"
"What kind of question is that?"-me.
"The serious kind. I love my brother and honestly I believe he has the right to move on it's just that that
woman he married thinks she's the best and whatnot. I want to know if you're serious about him and
that you are actually willing to stick around with him." -she says.
Why is she speaking as if Xavier and I are already engaged or something?
"I think everyone is waiting for us in the dining room."-I turn and take a bowl walking out of here. I'm
not answering her for personal reasons. I don't know which personal reasons though because I could
just yelled out 'Yes I'm serious about that white nigga!' But...
Well how great. Melissa is sitting next to Xavier while his mother sat at the head of the dining table. I
avoid his face cause I'm a good person. I really am...right invader?
I place the bowl in the middle of the table. Suzanné places hers next to mine while I go fetch another
bowl. This place is too darn quiet.
When we finally bring in the last bowl Xavier gets up from his seat and comes around to the side I was
going to sit at. He pulls out a chair for me. "Sit."-him. I roll my eyes before doing so. He sits next to me.
"So you're going to sit next to the maid?"-Melissa asks pouring herself a glass of red wine.
"She's not a maid Melissa."-Xae defends me.
"Could've fooled me."-She says and sips her wine.
"Okay... How about we all say grace before we dig in?"-Suz says trying to change the topic.
"I agree. Come."-Xae's mother motions for us to join hands. I'm holding Xae's hand and Suz's. Mother
says grace and we dish up shortly after. And since I'm a hungry woman and invader isn't one to hold
back on the let's-eat-buttons I end up filling my plate. From loop salad to steak.
"Jeez they probably don't feed her enough at home."-Melissa says chuckling. I keep on eating. "Look at
her eating like a pig... Relax the food is plenty where I come from... Xavier and I-..."
"That's enough now Melissa! This is Xavier's guest and you will respect that. "-Xavier's mom says.
Silence.
I could feel Melissa's eyes piercing through me and if looks could kill then I'd be 6 feet under right now.
Make that 12....
"Azania right?"-Xavier's mom asks and I reply with a yes. "What do you do for a living?"
I swallow. Yes... She still made me nervous. "I'm a cleaner."
Melissa chuckles. "See once a cleaner always a cleaner. Destined to be a maid."-she sips on her wine.
"Once a desperate hoe always a despate hoe."-I mumble chewing on the piece of steak in my mouth.
"You did not just call me a hoe."-Melissa.

"Xavier is she the deaf kind?"-me.
He chuckles shaking his head lightly. "Not at all baby."
"Then she heard me loud and clear."-I shrug. "As I was saying Xavier's mom I am a cleaner at Indigo
holdings."
"Mom she also does amazing paintings."-The only man seated on this table says and I give him a look. A
'was that necessary' look.
"That's interesting I love art. Mind painting a portrait of me one day I'll pay you a great price. "-Xae's
mom says and I nod. As I was about to answer Melissa chipped in.
"It still doesn't take away the fact that you're a cleaner who's busy with other people's men. Married
men to be specific. Can't you go out there and find yourself a man who's your skin colour?"-She asks and
Suz puts her cutlery down clearly irritated by this as well.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean Melissa?"-Xae asks her.
"It's supposed to mean that she..."-Melissa points at me. "...has to stay in her dating border. She should
date black men."
"Melissa that's enough!"-Xae's mom tries to yield but the girl just won't quit. She stands clearly fumed
by the fact that everyone wants her to shut up and so does Xavier. I've never seen him this angry and
frustrated before. He was ready to blow a fuse.
"Since when does Xavier like them black and ugly?"-Melissa.

Suz stands takes her plate and walks out of here.
"Melissa say one mor-..."-Xavier starts but I interrupt him.
"Xae please let her be. Look even your sister left the table because of your so called wifey. I repeat let
her be."-I shrug turning to face Xavier. "If bad mouthing me makes her feel more like a woman than
cool."
"You're nothing but a slut! Who's child is sh-..."
"Melissa! Get out!"-Xavier roars bringing the whole lounge to immediate silence.
I can't help but look between the two. Hate vs hate. I don't exactly know how to feel actually but I'm
feeling some type of way.
"You're mistaken if you think I'm ever letting Xavier go. We said our vows and promised the Lord that
we'll stay together through thick and thin."
"Get out!"-Xavier.
I watch as she takes her wine glass and takes a sip before splashing it over myself leaving me covered in
wine. I was a little shocked honestly but mostly I was impressed. This woman meant business and the
only reaction I could manage was a mere chuckle.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I step into the Indigo premises and check in. I woke up earlier today and even had a cab ready for me
outside. All that was Xavier's doings and I liked it. Did I mention the fact that I gave the guy my spare
key? Yes? No? Maybe...anyway.
After changing into my clothes I got started with my shift and soon enough it became 14h00 and my
tired self was ready to leave. Again a cab. My man has been at it for a week and it's also been that long
since I last saw Melissa when she spilled her lovely wine on me. "Hey."
"Greetings ma'am sir gave me strict instructions to take you to a place. I'm telling you this because I
want you to be comfortable."-this cab driver says and I frown.
"Does this place have a name?"-me.
"It does but I've been prohibited from saying anything."-He says and I lie back sighing heavily. I didn't
like this. The feeling of not knowing. Suprises are something I've grown to hate.
Minutes later we're parked in front of a hospital. I cringe only because I knew why Xavier would want
me here. 'I need to check on the baby' he emphasised everytime and today he has me where he wants
me. I see him standing next to his car as this cab came to a halt. "A good day to you miss."-the driver
says.
Sheesh.
A good day when this monster's baby is involved?
"Thanks."-I mumble before my door gets opened by yours truly. I want to slap the smirk off his face but
refrain from it since invader kicks. He helps me out of the car and closes the door for me. He snakes his
hand around my waist and we motion towards the entrance. I don't say jack since the only thing I'll say
will ruin everyone's mood.
"I know you're probably furious right now but baby-..."
"But nothing Xavier! I don't want to hear that irritating deep voice of yours."-me.
"Are you angry at me?"-He asks me bringing us to an immediate hold. I frown angrily and force my hand
out of his hold. That fails.
"Let me go Xavier Albert King!"
"Azania are you angry at me?"-He asks me and I bite on the insides of my cheeks angrily.
Is it too late to slap him now?

"Azania talk to me...are you?"
"Of course I'm angry at you!"-I snap. "You brought me here to see what? The child that I hate with every
fibre in me?! You brought me here to see that thing's child and to awaken my buried scars?! You know
what Xavier if you hate me that much you might as well just shoot me because I-..."
"Stop it Azania...stop!"-He roars angrily before tightening his hold around my wrists and I hiss.
"You're hurting me Xavier!"-he loosens his hold a little but he still held me firmly.
"At this moment I actually don't care. Why is this always the deal with us? We fight and you think I'm
out to hurt you Azania. I understand you have things going on now and I know it's hard but this
baby...this baby did nothing wrong Azi."-he scolds at me and I squirm. "You are too focussed on what
Tiger did to you that you're not seeing the bigger picture here. This baby is innocent regardless of what
it's sperm donor did."
I look at him for the longest time ever thinking of how I wanted to abort Invader but I was too late... And
how I nearly ended my life because of how much hatred this thing.
"Fine lets just do this."-Me. I wanted to get this over and done with and stuff my face with hot wings.
Xavier huffs and lets me go walking off to a direction and I follow. He speaks to the receptionist and then
thanks her. Soon enough I'm following him to a room. We don't speak. He knocks and we hear a 'come
in'. It's cold in here and oddly very quiet and peacefull. A woman dressed in a white scrub uniform. She
smiles standing up and sticks her hand out for us to shake.
"I'm doctor Hendricks and you must be...?"-she asks as Xavier takes her hand.
"Mr King and this is my wife Mrs King."-Him. I eye him my heart beating hard against my chest. He did
not just say that did he?
"Oh how lovely she looks amazing. Please sit down. "-Dr Hendricks says letting go of my hand that she
shook way too long in my books. We sit and I focus on her. "So what can I help you with today?"
"I've bought my wife here for her first ever pregnancy check up. She's been refusing and today I finally
got her here in one beautiful piece. "-He says and by the sound of it he has a smile on his face.
Zimu!
I hope she doesn't start asking stupid questions and he doesn't continue saying stupid stuff.
"Well that alone is raising a lot of red flags and serious questions Mr King. This means your wife hasn't
been checking up on the development of the baby she hasn't been getting any vitamins for the baby and
she probably could've infected the baby without knowing putting his or her life in danger."-She says and
I give her a look.
Is she implying that I have HIV and AIDS? Me. Azania Mnguni. The nerve! I know I was a hoe but to take
it that far really isn't necessary.
"Baby Azania...are you okay?"-Xavier snaps me out of my furious thoughts. I look at him before looking
at this Dr Hendricks.
She doesn't even know my past and could've just said what she did to me to anyone really.
I sigh.
She doesn't know.
"I'm fine you were saying?"-me.
"Yes as I was saying you wouldn't mind us running a couple of tests on you to ensure that you and the
baby are 100% healthy and fine right?"-I nod. That 'running a couple of tests' thing already had my
palms and bum crack sweating.
Dr Hendricks draws some of my blood and sends it off for all sorts of tests. Some of them were going to
be delivered before the appointment ends and some of them as soon as possible. "Okay now that that is
out of the way we can commence with the ultrasound. Mrs King and your husband please come to this
side. "-Dr Hendricks says to us and we go to the bed where she had already set up an ultrasound
machine. "Lift your tshirt and lay on the bed for me."-she says.
"Let me help you up."-my supposed husband offers. I don't refuse as he does help me onto the bed. My
T-shirt rests under my too plumped up breasts.
"This is going to be cold."-Dr Hendricks says and applies some gel on my belly which was indeed cold. I
watch as she puts the machine on my belly and soon enough there was a loud confusing sound which
soon became very clear. "We have a heartbeat."-the doctor said excitedly.
"Wow..."-Xavier breathed out his phone in his hold. Is this whitey making a video?
Oh hell no!
"Is that the head?"-He asks pointing to the screen.
"Yes and over here we have his legs and here we have his hands. "-she says pointing at different parts
on the screen. I think I'm overwhelmed by how much invader has actually grown. Oh Zimu don't tell me
I'm getting attached to this thing.
"Wait it's a boy?"-Xavier asks and when I look at him I see a face tearing smile. I cringe. Why do I feel like
crying?
"Yep a very healthy looking one indeed."-she says.
That's it. I can't do this anymore. I sit up slaping the machine away from me and get off this bed. I'm
raging and I don't think I care about the fact that I still had gel on my belly. "Azi what's wrong...where
are you going?"-Xavier asks but I ignore him flatly. In fact I ignore them all including this so called Dr
Hendricks. As soon as I get outside I breathe out and let my tears fall. A pained sound comes out of my
mouth and I stop it by covering my mouth. I continue my way to the packed parking lot searching for
God knows what.
"Azania!"-that too familiar voice calls me out and soon enough I felt his hand on my wrist. "Baby
no...please stop crying."
I'm trying dammit!

In the car I find myself playing with my fingers listening to Romeo. The song Xavier sent me when we
were still in Dubai. I think it was playing for the third time now but I still wanted to listen to it some
more. It made me feel so...so calm and quite regretful with how I left that hospital now. I probably
shouldn't have caused that much drama now I'm sure that Doctor knows I have issues...or maybe thinks
that Xavier isn't a great guy.
I heave out a tired sigh and look his way. I had noticed he bought two copies of the scan with him pills
and a DVD I think.
"Albie I'm hungry."-me. He doesn't respond which to me seems as if he was still angry at me for being
such a drama queen. Fine. I look back out of the window and bite on the insides of my cheeks...
Sheesh.
---
"Spencer...wake up..."-I slowly open my eyes and observe my surroundings.
I'm back at my apartment's parking lot and I smell wings and chips. McDonald's and what's this other
packet. Chicken licken.
"Come you said you were hungry."-he says and I climb on out of the car. I thought he didn't hear me.
My apartment door is opened by him and the moment we walk in I freeze...what the flying fuck?!
A couch? Scratch that. A three seater couch!
On the floor is a large fluffy black carpet with my coffee table at the very centre. I walked in some more
and nearly tripped over my own shadow when I saw a brand new television on a stand of it's own. Is
that a decoder?
"Noooo Xavier."-me. I still can't believe this.
"This is only the beginning baby"-He says placing the paper bag and plastic on the coffee table a smirk
on his lips and his hand deep in his pockets.
I don't know why I rush to the kitchen before he even says anything. What in the name of all that's holy
is this man doing to me. A gas stove. Microwave. Kettle. Is that a toaster? Where's my two plate stove!
I turn to look at him. "What part of I want to be independent did you not understand?"
He chuckles. "The whole part Azania I admit I got a little carried away but-..."
"Shhhhh."-I shut him up. Fuck being independent. I throw myself at him and hug the life out of him.
"Thank you."-me. He did say I should stop fighting him so...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I thought I'd die after yesterday's heartburn attack. Yes on my new couch even. The thought is
unsettling.
Xavier is not here. He left very late last night and I'm sure if it was up to him he'd sleep here again and
again and again and... you get the point. It's 10h09 when I decide I've had enough of this bed and get
out.
After making my single bed I go take a quick shower lotion and get dressed in leggings and a bright
yellow maternity top. I put on this new weave I got about two days ago with the salary money Nqoba
sent me. I collect all my dirty clothes and rush to my new automatic washing machine. This was in my
now cramped looking bathroom but did I care? Nope. I had wondered how washing with my bare hands
would be like since I didn't have one here. We had two back at the palace.
After sorting out which ones would be washed first I go warm up yesterday's wings. I toast some bread
and make some coffee. Don't look at me like that.
I force the pills down my throat.

Minutes later I was done eating and decided to check on my laundry. Done and tumble dried. I put them
in a basket and put in my last load while I went outside to hang these on a washing line. While I was
hanging the clothes I heard footsteps coming closer.
"Azania. Hey...you're not working today too."-That's Ghana. No doubt. I turn and look his way. Dressed
in casual. He smiles and I return it lightly. Red. "I was actually hoping to bump into you today."
"Is that so?"-I turn back to hang the rest of my clothes.
"Yeah tomorrow is Sunday and we all know what that means right?"-him.
"More sleep yay!"-me.
"No Azania. It means church."
"Oh. That."-I secretly roll my eyes hoping and begging my gods for him not to ask me to go with him.
"Want to go with me?"-I look at him. This is what I didn't want.
"No thank you Ghana."
"Why not? Are you some sort of Atheist or Devil worshipper?"
"Devil worshipper? Really Ghana."-I give him a look.
"Okay I'm kidding but come on Azania. It will be fun I can guarantee you that."-he says taking one of my
tops and hangs them on the line.
Eh.
"Nah I'm cool Mr G...I already have plans."-I lie. Xavier had another meeting he'd be attending the whole
day tomorrow so it was just going to be me and my paintings.
"Please. I will literally go on my knees if you want me to."
"No."
"Please."-him.
"Noooo."-I pick up the empty laundry basket and attempt to leave but he rushes in front of me and
blocks my way. "Move."
"Not until you say yes."
"No."-me.
"Then I'm not moving."-he says standing his ground. I try going to opposite direction but it seems
pregnancy has made me slower. "Say yes Azania."
I sigh irritated and look him in the eye. He clearly wasn't going to drop this was he?
"Fine I'll go with you to this stupid church of yours. Now move. "
"Finally. Thank you."-he says and makes a path for me to go through.
Sheesh.
The moment I shut my apartment's door I regret agreeing. Knowing myself I'll probably be asleep the
whole service through so I'll definetly bring shades...
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
23
Chapter 23
♡
A loud irritating knock is the thing I hear for the second time since this morning started. I thought that if
I ignored it for long enough it would go away but it didn't. It instead got louder and louder than the ones
that came before. I angrily force myself out of my bed and make my way to the door. The smell of my
failed-burned-beyond-repair-chicken was and still is sharp in the air. I tried cooking something decent
yesterday but ended up resorting to ordering Chinese food.
The knock again.
I unlock my door and swing it open. I didn't even bother to ask who it was because of my anger. Ghana.
This fella is applying for an early death I see.
"Azania didn't you hear my thousand knocks?"-He says rubbing his knuckles.
I chuckle. " I did but then I noticed that this knocker was clearly not going to give up. What do you want
Ghana we were still enjoying our beauty sleep."-I fold my arms in front of my chest and wait for him to
speak.
"You already forgot?"-him.

"Forgot about what?"
"Church Azania! I invited you yesterday to join me for church."-he says.
"You were serious about that kanti?"-I had totally forgotten about that honestly.
"Dead serious now go shower I'll meet you here in 30 minutes."
I stare at him for the longest minute and see that he truthfully wasn't going to drop this whole church
thing. "Fine!"-I sigh irritated and shut the door locking it.
I shower quickly dry and lotion. I settle for a faded pair of skinny jeans a black maternity top and a black
heel. I'm crossing my fingers for no swollen feet. After combing my hair and doing my make up I step out
with my phone and handbag at hand.
Do they even wear pants to church?
Do I even care?
I find the ever smiling Ghana outside my apartment. "I'm impressed."-he says and I frown.
"I shouldn't be impressing you though or anybody for that matter."-Me. Xavier wouldn't exactly be
happy about me talking to this guy here...but he isn't here exactly now is he? "Let's just go please I want
to get back here as soon as I can."
"Right after you."-him. I roll my eyes close and lock my door and walk ahead.
We park next to a blue Uno and he switches the engine off making the whole car quiet. Immediately I
hear the sound of church music playing.
Oh no.
The last time I ever set foot in a church was a few months before my gran passed on.
"Let's go before we become even more late."-Ghana says and we step out. Many people are also making
their way into the huge building that had a massive cross above the entrance.
My little devil and I will probably burn before we make it to the inside of this building. Ghana takes my
arm and hooks it around his making me chuckle on the inside.
"Our God is an Awesome God. He raised from heaven above with wisdom power and love. Our God is an
awesome God."-the choir sang in front on stage.
I felt the stares I received intensify as we made our way down the aisle and I haven't even been here for
more than 5 minutes. Ghana on the other hand kept on getting hugs and handshakes and still wouldn't
let me go untill we got to the front of the church. A row of open seats.
"Sit here. I'll be back now-now."-he says and finally frees my arm.
I sit and sulk. Everyone is singing and I'm...sitting. I check the time on my phone and it's 09h34. I should
ask when this church is coming out so I can mentally prepare myself. After a while I look up from my
phone and let out a sigh of relief when I spot Ghana walking back here. I soon tense up because of the
familiar looking man and woman he's walking with.
No!
It can't be.
I even pinch myself like the people in movies do to awaken from this daze but they're still there when I
open my eyes. Baba sees me and freezes.
Oh no!
"He died for me!!!!"-The choir sang the next song.
When they eventually got to where I was I feeling extremely anxious.
Red.
"I'd like you to meet-..."-Ghana speaks loud enough for me to hear but Baba Zwane cuts his sentence
midway.
"Azania. Diamond. "-him.
"Errr...Odd...you know her?"-Ghana asks.
"Very well too. How are you?"-Baba Zwane asks and my eyes dart off to Agnes. They then swim down to
her feet and déjà vu hits hard. Those red kitten of hers are a die hard collection I see.
She hasn't said anything to me yet but her look is definetly doing all the talking necessary.
"I'm... I'm alive."-I say as calmly as I can.
"Sipho let us go and sit down."-He pulls her man away and they go sit down a chair away from me. The
same ignored chair -left open by the Zwane's power couple- gets occupied by Ghana.
Lord.
A middle age looking man with a well groomed beard comes onto stage and everyone starts clapping.
Even I.
"Amen Amen Amen!"-him.
"Amen Pastor Jeff!"-everyone responds and sits down. Its quiet for a while before this Pastor gazes
among his people. His eyes land on me and I immediately felt uneasy. "Amen!"
"Amen Pastor Jeff."-The congregation.
"Young lady I've never seen you here before na come here."-Him. I shake my head. This is weird and
insane. "Come na don't be afraid. Dis is the house of the Lord. Come..."-he motions with his hand.
"Go Azania."-Ghana encourages.
Well fuck this.

I hand Ghana my bag and phone hesitantly.
Zimu.
I get up and make my way forward listening to the clapping of the congregation. This Pastor comes and
holds his hand out for me to help me up the three basic stairs in front of me.
It's not like I would've fallen or anything but anyway.
"Ah thank you. My Lady what is your name?"-he asks. He sounds very Nigerian may I add.
I look out at the crowd ahead and swallow. Agnes!
Sheesh...
"My name is Azania."-I speak into the microphone.
"Welcome Azana to Je-..."

"I said Azania. My name is Azania not Azana."-me. I hear a few gasps from the congregation after I said
that. I don't get how correcting this guy has them all shocked.
"Ah...see na this child needs strong strong prayer! I dey sense a strong evil in her life!"-This pastor says. I
raise my eyebrows as I listened to the congregation replying in that awkward way of theirs. From lady to
child. "Come let's all close our eyes and cast a hand to this child in prayer."-he grabs my arm and forces
me onto a chair that one of the ushers bought forward not so long ago. "Close your eyes child."-his
warm sweaty palm goes onto my forehead and the only thing I can think of -apart from how ridiculous
this is- is my perfectly drawn eyebrows getting smudged.
"Fire!!"-Is the first thing this pastor yells in his so called prayer followed by a whole load of
garba...things.
His hands move. From my forehead to my shoulders to my forearms and -believe it or not- my breasts. I
thought he would eventually remove his filthy hands but he didn't. I felt him squeeze and jiggle them.
Heeh.
What the heck?!
I slap his hands off immediately and get up from this chair. His eyes shoot open and before I can even
stop myself I slap him hard on the cheek. " Fire!!! "-I slap him again and march off stage fuming. Did that
just happen?
These people are still praying hard -some had their phones out recording- clearly not aware of what just
transpired. I grab my bag out of Ghana's hold and march out of here too. I'm not going to look back at
this perverted pastor or his so called congregation.
"Azania! Azania! Wait Azania!"-Ghana called out and to be honest it started becoming irritating.
"What Ghana?!"-I snap and halt turning to face him and two other faces.
"What's wrong you just stormed off like someone threw a bomb on the stage you were on."-Ghana.
"I want to go so I'm calling a cab."-Me. I'm so out of breath.
"Azania calm down you're going to stress the child if you continue like this."- Ghana replies.
"It's probably the whoring side of hers that just refuses to leave her alone."-Agnes says.
"Agnes!"-Baba scolds.
I'm going to ignore her.
I take my phone and scroll to the uber service's numbers. "Azania let me take you back. I bought you
here after all. Don't call an uber. Please."
---
Ghana dropped me off at the gate and headed back to that precious church of his. I was relieved and
needed something spicy to eat or I was going to go even more mad. Sigh. I should learn how to cook
because this ordering business is becoming too much for me and...I probably missed your regular home
cooked food in general.
I reply to Xavier's message after taking off these heels. He texted me about two hours ago. Imagine.
He texts back in seconds. *Are you okay? Can I call?*
*Yeah I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be? Don't call me aren't you at a meeting?*-me.
*I have a feeling you're not your jolly self today and about this meeting I swear I have better things to do
with you.*-He replies and I giggle shaking my head.
*You'll lose your job Albie and then I'll have to support you off my cleaner's salary. Which isn't much.*-
me.
*Don't call me Albie when you can call me BABY. Please. And don't worry about me and this job they
wouldn't fire me.*-him.
*Okay BABY why are you being so cocky? Why are you that confident about not getting fired?*-me.
*Finally we're getting somewhere. BABY they need me here.*-he texts back and I snort.
*Well BABY please finish up there and come here cause I need you too. My feet are swollen again and
they need your tender love and care.*-me.
*I'll be there in 30 minutes.*-him.
*No Xavier. I typed 'finish up there and come here...' Not 'drop everything and rush to your pregnant
damsel with swollen feet.' *-I type quickly.
*Did you just call yourself MY pregnant damsel*-He replies with laughing emoticons.
Mxm.
*Stop analysing stupid shit Xavier. Act your age!*-me. I'm a laughing mess.
*Ouch. My heart. Is...breaking...oh...my...gosh...Azania...I'm dyi...i...ng*-him.
Oh wow.
*Are you gay?*
*I might as well be bacause the woman I love so dearly told me to act my age.*-him. I snort.
*You are so dramatic. My word. Focus back on the VERY IMPORTANT BUSINESS MEETING YOU'RE
ATTENDING I will see you after.*-I text him seconds later he sends me a voice recording.
"Fine. I'll see you at 20h00"-him. "Mr King please get off your phone and focus on the meeting at hand."-
another man's voice says. "Yes sir I will see you after.*-I text him seconds later he sends me a voice
recording.
"Fine. I'll see you at 20h00"-him. "Mr King please get off your phone and focus on the meeting at hand."-
another man's voice says. "Yes sir but can I just say one more thing to my damsel in distress. Azania
baby. I love you soooooooooooooo much."-And that is how the voice recording ended leaving me
confused blushing and on a lighter feeling.
I exit WhatsApp and lock my phone.
Where did I put my paint and brushes and canvases? I search in my closet and only find my brushes and
paints. I dont have the energy to search for the rest. I take these items and toss them onto my bed
before going to the loo.
Upon my return I get a kick. Invader is still alive I see. "We just survived church baby boy. That thing that
calls himself a pastor was touching me on my boobies imagine."-he kicks again and I smile. "I would kick
his ugly self again if I had to I swear."-I say taking off my jeans and top. I squirt different colors of paint
onto a plate I was never going to use again and sit in front of a mirror. Legs crossed indian style. "Now
invader..what do we feel like painting today...?"-A kick. "You want me to paint a foot? Errr okay."-I say
and grab a brush dipping it into some of the brown paint and let it rip ahead on my belly. The first
contact is cold but as time went on it became normal.
I've lost count on how many times I changed sitting position since my feet wouldn't stop buzzing or
swelling. My current position though -I'm on my knees- feels better. After hours of painting I'm done.
The brushes rest inside the plate and I get to admire what I've just painted. A foot. Grass flowers and a
heart. "Can you see what I painted for you boy. Do you like it...cause I like it."-I smile looking up at the
mirror. I look so messy but I don't feel like washing myself off yet.
My bedroom door open and I nearly jump up out of shock. It's Xavier? At this time? "What are you doing
woman?"-Is what he asks and I frown.
"Can't you see I'm ghost hunting?"-me.
"Very funny baby but what are you doing?"-He asks me again closing the door behind him and makes his
way towards me.
"I'm showing your boy how to paint."-me.
"Are you okay?"-he kneels behind me nearly towering over me.
"I'm fine Xavier why are you being dramatic again."-he chuckles.
"No reason. Anyway aren't you glad the love of your life is back early?"-he smirks loosening his tie.
" I didn't even notice. Invader and I were just being a chilled bunch."-he takes the tie off.
"You mean you two were bonding..."-the tie gets laid over my eyes and is gently pulled tighter blinding
me completely.
What is this man doing?

"We weren't bonding."-I state feeling Xavier's hot breath near my earlobe followed by a light lick and
tuck that send a cold shock down my spine.
"Baby. You were."-he scoops my hair and moves it to another side leaving my neck exposed. "You'll be a
great mother my damsel. "-he breaths and I crack. His lips travel down my neck and rest on my naked
shoulder.
Did he not hear me when I said I'm giving this baby up for adoption the moment it's born?
"Such smooth sweet skin you have my love."-I feel his fingertips on my bra straps pulling them until they
loosely laid on the sides of my shoulders. I swallow pressing my thighs together. "Talk to me Azi."-he
nibbles gently on my neck.
"And... And say what exactly..."-he wants me to talk now? Is he sick or very purposeful.
"Anything..."-he unhooks my bra and I help him out of it. "...I just want to hear your voice."
Sheesh.
He cups my ladies and pinches the growing humps hard making me moan. He keeps playing with them
for a good minute sending enough signals to my kitty to flood a nation. "Xae..."
"Yes."-he hisses and nibbles on my neck again. Sweet mother of all that's holy he has my weak spot!
"I want you down there... Now please."-I beg.
"Down where?"-he teases.
"Xavier..."-I complain and hear him chuckle.
"Fine."-him. His hands vacate my ladies simultaneously and manoeuvre down along my sides
slowly...tenderly...sheesh!
"I...went to Ghana's church today."-the words fly out of my mouth before I could even stop them. I cant
be that high yet can I? His hands stop and so does my heavy breathing. He heard me didn't he.
Crap.
"What?"-he snaps and I sense him getting up. "You what with Ghana?"
I pull the tie off my eyes and find him standing near my bed looking all sorts of angry.
May I add that his hard on looked so sexy when he was this angry...
Focus Azania!
"I'm sorry it just happened and it didn't mean anything Xavier I swear."-me
"At least tell me you guys took an uber or something. "
I keep quiet and watch his jaw clench. "Well fuck me...really Azania. Didn't I tell you there's something I
don't like and understand about that thing that befriended you."
"He's my boss Xavier."-me.
"And what is that supposed to do exactly? Make the world a better place?"-he says making me feel
small and somewhat...stupid. I get up and cover my breasts before sighing.
"I said I'm sorry Xae."-me.
"Okay."-he shrugs and walks out of here slamming the door behind him. Well...what a way to leave a girl
hanging!
I put on a sports bra a pair of leggings and slippers before I leave my room searching for my angry man. I
find him at my lounge seated on the couch one leg crossed over the other. And next to him is the one
and only Ghana Montanga. I'm too underdressed for this.
I was halfway from turning back when Xavier called me.
"Woman come here."
No.
I turn feeling like a dog with it's tail between it's legs. His eyes are fixed on me and they are intense.
Angry even. I don't know about what anymore cause I always seem to be the problem here. I have issues
and one of them is clearly giving me a pearly charming smile that isn't easy to resist.
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Xavier's POV.
"Come sit on my lap."-I say. I'm trying hard to keep my haywire emotions under control cause I swear I'll
snap and do something I might regret.
"Im not sitting on your lap Xavier."-my damsel says and I find myself chuckling before getting up from
the couch and go fetch a chair.
"Sit on my space then."-me. She does. There's a gap between her and this Ghana fella which is what I
wanted at the very end. I turn the chair and sit it's rest in front of me. I felt like a bad cop.
"Xavier I said I'm sorry."-Azania says and bites on the insides of her cheeks. She did that a lot and I found
that somewhat sexy...but we're not there yet now are we.
"Azania I also said a couple of things that you tossed out of the window and one of them involved that
gentleman next to you."-me. I was leaving when I found this guy at Azi's doorstep.
"Me what did I do?"-Ghana asks looking between Azi and I.
"Look Ghana my guy I don't know what your deal is here but I want to get one thing straight. That
woman next to you is solely mine. That means that this woman is not up for grabs or even close to being
single. Am I clear?"-I ask looking at this thirsty man whore. Forgive me but I seriously didn't like the guy
as much. I was feeling a little insecure about things between Azania and I since I knew she'd be able to
leave me any given day. I was still a married man -in the eyes of the law- anyway. I didn't want to make a
mistake...or let my guard down.
Not with Azania.
I may sound too weird right now but I can't fuck up with this woman. Me being a white man added even
more to my insecurities. My fellow black brothers and them understanding the black culture and the
language and everything else added more fuel to my imaginary fire. Bottom line is I didn't want to lose
Azania. My broken Azania...who I'll try fixing cause she likes bottling up shit of her past. She likes
pretending as if everything is okay when it's not.
"I asked you a question Ghana."-me.
"It's whatever bro."-he says shrugging and the only thing that does is piss me off even more.
"It's not whatever 'bro'. This is my woman and you better stay away from her."
"Or what? You'll call the police."-he mocks me. I chuckle and before I even know it I have his filthy collar
in my grip lifting him up.
"Xavier no!"-Azania yells rushing to stand next to me. "Don't do this."
"Ghana I'm warning you! Don't test me!"-I warn him looking him firmly in the eyes. The bastard kept
smirking and shaking his head.
"I won't take orders from you champ. I'll only listen to Azania over here and only when she tells me to
back off will I back off. Capish?"-he removes my hands from him and fixes his suit before looking at
Azania and then back to me. "I'll see you tomorrow Azania."
I watched as he walked out of here like he owned the place...

"You shouldn't have done that Xavier. Nothing is going on between him and I."-Azania.
Is this woman being for real now?
"Oh...you know what I suddenly remembered I have to sort out some paperwork."-I lie and grab my car
keys from the coffee table. "I bought you hot wings."-I point to her kitchen counter and bring her close
to me before pecking her forehead. "I love and value you Azania. I'll call you."
She doesn't say anything but looks at me intensely. She looked like she was going to cry if she blinked.
"Take care of my boy."-I leave. I felt suffocated I don't by what. Maybe by the fact that my girl still
wanted to befriend this boy.
Minutes later I find myself parked in my yard. The lights were on which only indicated that my mother
was around. She was always a comfortable and understanding woman...unlike my father. He was too
self-centered which is what I think is one of the reasons why my mom left him. Greatest decision ever.
I climb out of my car and lock it before rushing inside. I find her seated on a couch watching some
television.
"My Son I even thought you weren't even going to return tonight. Let me quickly dish up for you."-she
says but I stop her.
"No mom...I'm fine. I'm not hungry."-I make my way to where she was seated and sit next to her putting
my keys on the table.
"Okay...what's wrong my boy you never say no to my cooking."
"It's nothing mom."
"Is it that girl?"-I look at her as a sad smile crept on her lips. "Is it?...what's her name again..."
"Azania."
"Yes Azania...is it her that's giving my son so much worry?"-she asks and I heave out a sigh running a
hand through my hair.
"I'd rather not talk about this."-I say.
She switches off the television and I knew instantly that she wasn't going to drop this. "I'm all ears."-her.
I chuckle. "Well mom if you have to know then... I feel very insecure mom like I'm not Worthy of loving
someone like Azania."
"Nonsense Xavier. Everyone on this earth deserves to love and to be loved."
"So you like her?"-I ask my mother. We've never talked about my relationship with Azania to the point
where I thought she didn't like her as much.
"I love anyone who makes my son happy. Xavier I'm not a hater of colour. Also your insecurities need to
be put to rest...quick tip some girls don't find an insecure man sexy..."
"Mom!"-I laugh.
"Okay...I meant some girls find an insecure man unattractive."
"So...how should I just chuck this feeling out of the window?"
"By believing in yourself. Be confident. She chose you didn't she?"-I nod. "Yes. If you feel like she's the
one then you should never doubt her or her love for you."-she finishes off.
"And then there's Mel. Mom."-I say. I had to call Rodney -my lawyer- to ask him if there's nothing else I
can do to legally be free from that female.
"That girl...don't worry I'll talk to her an-..."
"No mom. I'll deal with her. She's my trash after all."
"Xavier!"-she laughs and playfully hits my shoulder. I can't believe I nearly lost this woman...
"Thank you mom...I'm going off to bed I'll see you tomorrow morning?"
"Sure."-I say my goodnight and retreat to my bedroom.
---
As I laid in bed I couldn't help but frown since this was the third time I tried calling Azi and still it sent me
to voicemail. I didn't know if I should panic or just assume that she was still angry...or she didn't charge
her phone. I tried her one last time and still nothing. Yeah. She's still angry...
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
24
Chapter 24
(UNEDITED)
"Mfazi."
"Mfazi!"-I reply breathlessly. Nothing soothed my heart better that the moment when she held me
tightly in her hold.
"You still love giving me tight ass hugs I see."-she says in a forced voice causing me to let her go.
"You know what they say mos if it ain't tight then it ain't right."-me. She laughs shaking her head
continuously.
"No one says that Mfazi."
"I miss you."
"You're fine Azania. I'm finally resting in peace where I am."
"What do you mean?"-I ask.

"A small boy found me after a whole lot of months...I'm fine now."
"A small boy? Where were you."
"You'll know soon."-she says and pastes a big bright smile on her face. "I love you okay. And so does that
white boy. Don't lose a diamond chasing after stones."
"I...I love you too."-she turns and starts walking off.
"Oh and Azania...burn that olive T-shirt of mine that you hated...I dont want to see it in my heaven
wardrobe collection."-she says and disappears.
I wake up feeling heavy. That dream felt so real. My heart feels painful and the weather matched exactly
how I felt. Grey and somewhat gloomy. Yesterday had me rethinking my choices and while I was at it I
realised today would've been Zama's birthday. 6 October a month apart from mine.
She came to me on her birthday? She said something about finally resting in peace. Does that mean they
buried her after finding her?
I wipe away my tears and drag myself out of bed. After showering and getting dressed I prepare myself
to leave. It looks like it's going to rain today. I make my way to the gate and notice Xavier's car parked
outside. When the guard opened the gate for me he got out. He wasn't smiling and neither was I. If he's
angry...then he can go shove that anger where the sun didn't shine. What he did to Ghana was wrong
and what he did to me was even worse. How could he leave me hanging like that and still expect me to
be cool with it?
I walk past him before feeling his hand grab me bringing me to halt.
Sheesh.
"Where are you going?"-Him. I roll my eyes before turning back to look at him. I'm completely going to
ignore the fact that his scent made me calmer and feel like Zama was really okay wherever she is.
"I'm going to catch a taxi."-I lie and he instantly frowns.
"Are you mad woman? I'm here and you want to take a stupid taxi to work?"
"Yes now please let me go. I don't want to be late."-I state and attempt on removing his hand from me.
"Get in the car Azania."
"I said I'm taking a taxi Xavier."-I say.
"Do you even know where the taxi rank is or you're just playing me?"
"I'm not that stupid Xavier...now let me go."-I warn. I watch as his face lights up and he slowly releases
me from his hold.
"Go then Azania. Go catch your taxi."-he turns and goes into his car leaving me alone outside.
Fine. I walk ahead and sigh.
Where are the taxi's vele?
Can you even call a taxi like you do with an Uber?
He hoots the car catching all my attention. "Taxi! Taxi!"-he yells window lowered and arm hanging
outside as he drove closer to me slowly. "Sorry baby girl where are you going? Melrose? Hillbrow? I'll
take you wherever."
"You've got to be kidding me."-me.
"Baby girl I don't play like that are you going or not?"-He asks. I might as well play along to his silly game
or whatever.
Once I'm inside he drives off. It's super silent in here and it felt a little awkward. My hand reaches for the
radio but as I'm about to turn it on he slaps my hand away. This is becoming a habit I see. "Where have
you ever seen a passenger handle a taxi's radio? I've watched my movies."
Wow. How much longer is this ride going to be for cause I'll scream.
---
The clock strikes 14h03 when I finish changing back into my casual clothes. I smelt like bleach and the
smell was really making me nauseous. "Bye!"-Anathi yelled as she walked out of the locker area.
"Bye!"-I yell back. She's a chilled person who happens to clean the same floor as I do and that has made
us somewhat good...what are we...colleagues? Yes. I close and lock my locker before making me way to
the stairs. I say my goodbyes to Mme Doris and all the others that I knew by name except for one.
Ghana. I've been avoiding him the whole day to little success. Apart from the fact that he found me
cleaning his office desk and the toilet floor I've managed to not see him as much as I usually did.
"Woah...Azania. Wait."-I stop irritated by the scene he's causing.
"Talk fast I have somewhere to be."-Me. Chicken Licken had to know my name by now.
"You mean you're afraid of that white boy of yours?"-he smiles cockily.
"I suggest you stop talking about my boyfriend like that and maybe we should just stop talking for
everyone's sake...even my own sake."-I say.
"Woah Azania I didn't mean to make fun of your partner. I'm just getting used to the fact that my fellow
black sister is dating a white man. South Africa is really changing I guess."-him. "And do tell him that I
apologize for yesterday. I realised how wrong I was to him the moment I stepped out of your apartment.
Forgive me?"-him. I bit on the insides of my cheeks before nodding. This was the Ghana I knew and now
that he has apologized I'm sure Xavier will get to understand him.
"Thank you baby girl hug?"-him. Errr...no.
Ghana pulls me in for a tight bear hug that feels warm and friendly. As we were still in embrace I felt
Ghana being pushed away. Xavier.
"What the fuck!"-Xavier roars out in anger and throws not one or two or three punches at him but
several. Ghana was helpless as Xavier attacked him mercilessly. I didn't know what to do because I was
just frozen. I was shocked even.
"Security!"-someone calls out at a distance. I don't know who.
What has gotten into Xavier lately?
A sharp pain attacks my abdomen and I yell out placing my hand there. "Azi baby!"-Xavier. He's by my
side in seconds. "Are you okay? Azania look at me."-the pain comes back again and sharper this time
around.
Okay I'm probably over exaggerating now but they've stopped fighting.
"No! I'm not okay."-I murmur out in 'pain'. People are surrounding us by now and they honestly didn't
seem to matter to me.
"I'm taking you to hospital. Now."-he scoops me up and jogs out of here. It's drizzling outside and the
wind has become stronger. After putting me in the car's backseat he drives off in mad speed.
"Baby invader come down for me please...please."-I rub my belly hoping that would make me feel better
but it doesn't.
Minutes later he parks outside the hospital and I'm taken away by nurses and doctors.
---
"Sir she's okay. What happened here is what we would refer to as braxton hicks. Usually mild labour
pains which happened because your body is preparing itself for the real deal."-a nurse says to Xavier as
he sat next to my bed.
"Are you sure she's okay?"-him.
"110% sir. And if they do get uncomfortable she can do things like taking a walk getting some rest taking
a warm bath and even listening to music. Sir you can even give her a massage."-this nurse says and he
nods.
"You're free to go then."-She smiles and walks off leaving me with Randy Orton.
He looks at me eyes fierce and lips hidden from view. "So wrestling is your thing now Xander?"-Me.
"Yes and I think I like it. I told that idiot to stay away from you and he does exactly the opposite."
"He was apologising for being rude to you yesterday okay."
"Then why not say it to me face to face huh?"-he says.
"Well maybe because you had to go rearrange his face before he could do that Xavier. I don't like what
you did today one bit and if I get fired I swear..."
"You should quit anyway it's not like you love cleaning."-him.
"Ang'zwanga (I'm sorry what?)"-me. "Haibo Xavier you want me to quit my job just because you think I
don't like cleaning? Is that even smart? Can we just get out of here before I lose it."-I say and get off the
bed and fix myself before walking out of the room and down the passage.
In the car we listen to radio. I keep myself busy with my phone. As I was scrolling through my phone a
call interrupts me. Rendani. I answer immediately with a smile on my face. We haven't been talking as
much as I wanted us to.
"Hey Rendz how are you?"-me.
"Hey Azizi. Uhmm I'm good and I'm guessing you're good too."-her.
"I'm good. Still pregnant but I'm good."
"Did you see the news?"
"Errr..."-I look Xavier's way and shake my head. "No I haven't. Why?"
"We're all over."
"All over?"-Xavier finds parking at a nearby restaurant. "What do you mean we're all over?"-the car goes
dead and Xavier turns my way clealy interested by my conversation with Rendani.
"Just Google latest Report: Palace mules. You'll see."-I hang up and without wasting time rush to my
Google icon and type in the name Rendani gave me. The first story catches my attention.
"What's up?"-Xavier.
"Looks like I'm famous."-me. "Nomvelo Hadebe aged 24 has come forward to tell their heartbreaking
story. Working as a prostitute in one of the most expensive brothel and strip clubs owned by one of
South Africa's richest man Nqoba (full name Nqobazonke) Zwane she never thought in her life she'd be
forced into drug smuggling. 'I remember the day we all packed our bags and flew to Dubai only to be
drugged and taken to a warehouse. We were tortured daily and forced to swallow up to 90 stuffed
condoms each. There were 12 of us actually and 2 died because of this..."-I stop reading and cringe.
Zama...
"Baby..."-Xavier covers me with his arms and brings me closer to him. "... Please stop crying."-he begs
gently.
"I watched her die Xavier. I watched my best friend take her last breath. I watched them helplessly take
her from me and slaughter her for the drugs she swallowed."
I never told him this did I?
"I'm sorry baby."-He continues rubbing my arm up and down in attempt to calm me down but my tears
just keep on pouring down my cheeks.
"Today would've been her birthday Xavier. Zama would be turning my age. I would be celebrating with
her right now but I can't. Do you know I dreamt about her today and it felt so real. I wanted her with me
here and have her call me for stupid stuff like...like...rolling a joint for her."-I state and sniff.
Sheesh.
I should stop crying. I feel Xavier's hand on my cheek before he made me face him. He used his thumb to
wipe off my tears. I stare at him as he stared back at me. "Spencer. I've never met your friend face to
face before but I get how painful this is for you. Baby I want you to heal and be free from this burden
you're carrying...see this is why I don't want guys like Ghana around you. I don't trust him baby and I
would do the unspeakable to anyone who takes you away from me ever again."-him.
I look down. How could I let my guard down like that vele? Xavier is and should be the only guy that I'll
ever need.
"Let me go and get the two of you something to eat okay?"
I nod before he pecks my lips and steps out of the car leaving me alone. I chuckle shaking my head as I
unlock my phone and read further. This clout seeking hoe really laid out everything that happened back
at that hellhole. She labled me as the poor lost soul that was raped and impregnated. She even
mentioned me being the so called hero who killed Tebogo and called for help. This girl even went as far
as giving them Nathi's name and some of the people he worked with including Teanet. At the bottom
were pictures of some of us with names and surnames.
I was disgusted. Everything came flooding back again and words can't explain how that made me feel.
Nomvelo had no right to do this though.
I go through my phone and find her number. It rings twice before she answers.
"You've had my number for years but you've never called me before. Must be my lucky day. How are
you Azania? Still good and survi-..."
"You had absolutely no right to do what you did Nomvelo."
"Woah slow down there horsie what are you talking about?"-her.
I swear!
"Don't act dumb with me you know exactly what I'm talking about. Why did you have to tell the whole
darn world that I was raped? Why did you have to put my friends name in your business?!"
"Ohhhhh...you're talking about the articles. Azania nothing that I said to those journalists was a lie. I
spoke the truth and nothing but the truth...plus you have to admit that it's juicy and fiery."-she says and
squeals.
"You mean there's more of my information out there?"-me.
Zimu!
"Yep. Curtu-..."
"Fuck you Nomvelo! Fuck you! How dare you! How dare you!"-I shout. I really didn't know what to say
because of anger. She had no right to give out my photos out like that right?
Or even my information.
"Take a chill pill baby girl."

"I'll sue you you hear me. I'll leave you penniless!"-I hang up and curse. I'll have to ask Xavier about this.
He comes back carrying two doggy bags and climbs in.
"We'll talk about why you're angry at your place."-Him.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Another comment. This Azania woman should've killed Tebogo guy ages ago. She had to wait for her
so-called best friend to die before..."-he trails off. This is the 100th comment he's read me. "...should I
continue?"
I shake my head taking another bite of my sliced watermelon. I didn't need him to read further. "I
shouldn't have read you this crap from the beginning. It's damaging you even more."-he says and gets
out of bed. He stretches and yawns.
Well...let's just blame it on my curiosity. It has been 2 days since I read that article and threatened to sue
Nomvelo. 2 days of hell and paparazzi. Yes me Azania Mnguni followed by Paparazzi. I never actually
thought that day would come to me. Since we woke up I've had Xavier read me comments from that
same article and three others that dealt with the same crime. Some comments would really be soothing
while others would just make you hate being alive. It hurt seeing pictures of me everywhere all thanks to
Nomvelo who seemed to be bathing in all the clout she has been receiving.
I quit my job too by the way and I haven't looked back since. I didn't like that job anyway and they could
keep their money. May I also add that I haven't seen Ghana since that day they beat him to a pulp or
whatever. That was also in the news. They questioned my relationship with the two men and even went
as far as calling me an undecided whore. Okay...that's not exactly what they wrote but it felt like that's
what they would've said. "It's not. I just don't want to hear any more..."-I say. "... Watermelon?"-I offer
him a slice which he takes and bites before going to open up the curtains and windows.
Finally some sun!
"How about a camping trip to help you relax your mind?"-he asks and I frown. He turns and looks at me.
"Isn't camping like a white person type of thing?"-me.
"That's bull babe. Camping is definitely for everyone and you'll absolutely enjoy it. Nature has a way
to..."-he trails off when I pretend to snore. "... Spencer!"
My eyes shoot open and I can't stop giggling ''Sorry Mr King. I apologise for that but seriously... Do I look
like camping material to you? Boy you want me to hang my weaves on a tree branch? And even worse
bath in a lake?"-me.
"It's not that bad Azi trust me...come on."- him.
I get up from the bed pull my gown closer to my body and make my way to where he stood. The sun
shone on his face bringing his eyes to immediate attention. They looked lighter today. I hook my arms
around his neck and bring him closer to me. He instinctively places his on my waist and there's sweet
movement in my belly. "That looks so weird."
"It feels so normal right now. Give me your hand."-he does and I quickly place it on the area with the
most movement. His entire face beams up and I return my arm where it was. "I think invader loves you
more than he does me."
"Nonsense he loves you just as much...right my boy?"-he smiles still looking at my belly. He should not
forget the fact that I'm still not keeping this baby.
"Xae bae."-he finally looks up at me. "Were you serious about the camping trip thing?"-he nods. "I'll go
with you provided you don't lose me in those woods or you don't murder me. "-I joke.
"Woman who said you could only camp in the woods? And why do you always think I'm out to hurt you?
Before you became my girl you thought I'd kidnap you and now I might end up murdering you?"-he says
laughing. Nothing beats this man's laugh honestly. It's one of those laughs that makes you want to join
in with them.
"Well Babe I figured since you've already stolen my heart you'll be capable of doing anything."-I blush.
"She called me babe...oh I'm flattered. Put it here."-he pouts.
"Put what there?"-me.
He chuckles shaking his head lightly. "Very naughty minded woman I see. I meant put your lips here
baby."-he pouts again eyes shut this time. I stand on my toes and give him a quick peck. "Baby I said a
kiss. Not a peck."- I roll my eyes and stand on my toes once again before kissing him passionately. His
tongue takes a journey in my mouth lingering longer than it should. When his breathing gets on 160 he
breaks the kiss and gasps for air. I frown. "And now?"
"I swear this whole kissing thing will ruin my plans."
"All your plans huh?"-I smirk.

"Baby you have no idea. I plan on making you my woman all over again. Every bit of you will know me."-
him. My insides turn in a delicious way.
Take me now mlungu!
"Are you serious right now? This can happen now."-me.
"No...No not happening. I've decided and I'm not changing my mind woman."
"You're such a bore sometimes."-I murmur.
"Boo it takes one to see one."-he laughs
"Mxm excuse this black Queen."-I say and make my way to the bathroom.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Your handwriting is terrible Xavier what the heck is Cammed beums?"-I ask looking at the list of things
Xavier had me get for this camping trip he was so excited about. I was excited too but the feeling of not
knowing what to do when a bear atracks you in the middle of nowhere wasn't exactly my cup of rooibos
tea.
"Is that even a word? Isn't it beans? canned beans?"-him. Curse this lefthanded man for having me look
stupid at this supermarket.
"Could be...I mean it looks like you were writing with your left butt cheek here. "
"Heyy that handwriting has taken me places. Anyway make sure to get all those okay my love."
"I can't believe you're making your pregnant girl push heavy ass trolleys and shop all day long."-I
complain.
"Well my girl preached the importace of me keeping my job not so long ago and since she quit hers with
immediate effect I had to take charge."-he says and I roll my eyes finally finding the tinned food aisle.
"Baby. Back to serious matters you wrote here canned spaghetti why not just normal spaghetti?"-I ask.
Spaghetti wouldn't rot in a matter of day...right.
"You can buy both baby. You can anything extra actually if you feel like it. Call me when you have a
problem. "-he says and I hang up.
I spend another 2 hours shopping and searching for the things that were on Xavier's list. Suz came and
fetched me and my baggage. "Jeez for how many days are you two camping for exactly? A whole
month."-she asks as we headed to my place.
"Did I go too overboard?"-me. I know I did but hearing someone else say it made it sink in deeper than
anything.
"A little but it's nothing tragic. Anyway how have you two been?"
"Invader and I are doing good."

"Invader?"-her.
"Oh...I was referring to my boy over here."
"But why would you name your baby that?"-she giggles.
"That's a story for another day."-I brush her off.
Sheesh.
Upon arriving at my apartment I noticed a bunch of roses on a mini table by my doorstep. What the
heck!
Next to the whole bunch is a card with paws and pink hearts. My word Xae Bae! I'm a blushing mess.
"Are those from Xavier?"-Suzanné asks holding her two plastics. I shrug putting the ones in my hold
down and search for my keys.
I unlock and open the door. Suz helps me move the mini table inside. "Let me ca-..."-I stop midway as
my phone rings.
Speak of the devil!

"Let me go fetch the rest."-Suzanné says and walks out leaving me to answer my ringing phone blushing
like a fool. "Well aren't you the most romantic man Mr King?"
"I'd be blushing if I knew what you are talking about."-him.
"The flowers silly. Thank you they're beautiful."-me. I take the whole bunch of roses and sniff them.
Wow.
Azania impressed by flowers.
Sheesh.
"Well this is awkward. Baby I'm not responsible for sending you flowers."
Well who did then?

I take the card and open it. My smile disappears immediately. My heart drops to my stomach.
'I see you've moved on with life with my unborn son baby cakes. And that white boyfriend of yours
thinks he can replace me? NEVER. Anyway you know you belong to me. You are mine Azania! YOU
FUCKEN BELONG TO TEBOGO!'-I read in my head.
"Baby...you still there?"-Xavier.
Zimu.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
25
Chapter 25
"Azania!"-Suzanné yells from somewhere in this apartment as I sank to the floor. My legs numb and my
heart beating beyond the word fast. This can't be. I know it can't be but what if I'm wrong here?
What if I didn't kill him and he just was good at pretending to be dead?
"Are you okay? What's wrong?!"-she asks on her knees on the floor in front of me. Both her hands were
on my cheeks making me look at her. This can't be. I know it can't be but what if I'm wrong here?
"Azania...shit!"-I feel the tears roll down my face and my body shake at the thought of those words in
that letter.
Baby cakes.
Only he has called me that and only he would use that name. But he honestly can't be alive. And...he's
been...been watching me? From where? With who? What if he and Nathi comes back to take us away
and back to Iraq. What if he wants us to be mules again and keep us locked up in one of those rooms
again for days unend. My heart sinks even deeper than before as I think of Tebogo knocking on my door
with his goons and drugs me.
"Hey Xavier I don't know what's wrong with Azania. She's on the floor and she won't talk to me...hurry
okay."-she hangs up on the call from my phone and puts it on that mini table. "Azania...let me get you a
glass of water"-she gets up and rushes off to the kitchen leaving me alone. I lift that letter again my
hands shaking like crazy. 'You are mine Azania! YOU FUCKEN BELONG TO TEBOGO!'-I read in my head
one more before tossing the letter far in anger. I'm up in seconds screaming bashing and tarnishing the
roses. I ignored the thorns that would occasionally pierce through my flesh.
I felt arms pull me away before I was done and out of breath. "Azania are you crazy?! You're hurting
yourself!"-She cried out and made me sit on my chair.
I observed my messy floor. The redness reminded me of Tiger's blood the day I shot him. Exactly... I shot
him. I stayed with him for hours and he didn't move.
But an unwanted thought crosses my mind...I didn't check his pulse. I don't remember checking his
pulse!
"Oh my gosh you hurt yourself real bad Azania."-Suzanné. The pain was minor honestly.
The door shoots open. "Azania Baby...what's going on what happened!?"-that's Xavier. I jump out of the
chair and sprint over to him throwing myself at him. My hands on his waist. I was looking for something
to calm me down and I found it. I feel one of his hands on my back and one at the back of my head
holding me close.
"Suzanné speak!"
"I don't know what happened exactly but we came here found a table at her doorstep a bunch of roses
and a card. I left her alone here to go fetch the rest of the plastics in the car and when I came back she
was on the floor staring at nothing and with her phone at hand. I swear I don't know what's going on. I
offered to get her some water and then I suddenly heard her scream. I rushed back here and found her
destroying the roses...is she going to be okay?"-she sounds like a panicked woman.
"Where's this card?"-Xavier.
"There...here."-the hand on my back moves away and I know he's taking the card. Seconds later I feel his
heartbeat quicken. "What the fuck is this?!"-him.
I'd also like to know. "Suzie go home. I'll take care of things here."
"Her hands are bleeding Xavier"
"I'll take care of it..."
"But her hands Xavi-..."

"I said I'll take care of it Suzie! Just Go!"-He snaps and there's silence. This man is fuming right now.
I hear the door shutting before more silence engulfs us. We don't move. We don't talk. Nothing happens
for a long time.
I clear my throat. "Do...do you think he's really alive Xavier? I mean how could he still be alive?"
He sighs heavily. "I don't know what to think right now baby. I really don't. But what if-..."
"What if what?"-I chip in and raise my head.
"What if this is a hoax from some sicko out there?"-he states. "Think of it people out there already know
your story since that Tramp wanted attention."-I frown and remember that my hands probably needed
some cleaning. I break free from his hold and head to the bathroom with him following behind.
"I seriously don't want to think of this right now. We have plans and we're not changing them for
Tiger."-me. I didn't want to be seen as a drama queen honestly and how many more problems am I
going to bring to the table in this relationship?
How much more can Xavier take?
How much more will he actually be willing to take right now?

I mean thus far I've been a hoe a victim of rape and abuse I was a mule and now I'm pregnant and it's
not his. And now this.
It's too much really.
"But you can't go camping in this state baby."
"I can Xavier and this is what I truly need right now something to distract me."-Xavier opens the
bathroom door for me and I get in.
"Let me see those."-he requests as we stand by the basin. I lift my hands and show them to him. "Are
they painful?"
I shake me head. Maybe once we rince them with some water they'll start stinging mildly all over again.
When my hands are clean Xavier helps my sanitize and bandage them. "You hungry?"-him. I look at him
before nodding. "I'll go get you something to eat from the thousands of things you bought today."-he
jokes and I laugh lightly before he gets up and leaves. I'm left alone with these four walls that hear and
see everything...even today's events. I'll have to apologise to Suzanné though before doing anything
further cause she was clearly lost.
My thoughts get interrupted by a knock on my window. My heart instantly accelerates again and as
startled as I am I get up and rush to the window. The next thing I hear are footsteps running away. I
slowly open my curtain but there's nothing there...even after opening the whole curtain. Nothing. I must
be going crazy.
"What are you looking for?"-Xavier startles me and I squeal in shock.
"What the fuck Xavier don't do that!"-me.
"Answer me."-him.
"I heard a knock but I'm sure it's nothing. Now lets see what you whipped out here."-I try brushing off
the situation but what happens next nearly sends me running to the hills screaming 'Zimu!'
"Is that a...why do you have a..."
"It's a gun Azania and..."-he rushes to the same window I was looking out of. "...are you sure you saw
nothing?"
"No...I mean yes."-this is shock talking.
"You better call me when that happens again."-he says putting the gun on my bedside table. "Come sit
let's eat."
I sit down next to him bringing the platter of food closer to us. Mayo sliced Vienna's and mini warmed
up pies. He takes a mini pie and starts eating as if he wasn't a wannabe Rambo not so long ago.
"Seriously?"
"What?"-he shrugs swallowing. "Don't you want to eat the pies you bought?"
"Are you not going to explain where you got that gun?"-I question putting the platter back on the bed
and fold my arms in front of my chest. "Xavier."
"Okay Spenc I'll tell you."
Good.
"Before you freak out even more it is a legal gun. I have a licence for it. I got it for myself when I turned
24 after Luke the first born was born I felt like it was my duty to protect them with all my might. I knew I
had to step up and buying a gun to protect my so-called family seemed fitting."
Oh.
I clear my throat. "Can I be curious?"

"What do you want to know?"-him. He eats. I'll eat after asking this.
"Well...you and Melissa."-he sighs frustratedly. "What's the news between you and her? All I know is
that you're...you were supporting kids that are not yours."-me.
"I found her in bed with the one guy I considered my best friend Azania. I got angry and attacked him
and he told me out of anger that the two kids Melissa had for me weren't mine but infact his. I did a
DNA test and viola now can we drop this?"-he asks and I nod. This was clearly making him angry and I
didn't want that.
I just hoped that she wouldn't end up being the main person ever again in his life.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Days turned into another month that passed by quite smoothly. I was officially 7 months and a week
pregnant and your girl couldn't wait to push invader out because wow. Things between Suzanné and I
weren't as awkward as I thought before and I was thankful for that. She is the best. My page was also
set up most of my paintings were there and they sold faster than vetkoeks. All the first 10 were bought
and Xavier helped me with the mailing. May I add that they offered ridiculous amounts for just a simple
painting.
Our camping trip or as Xavier would call it our camping-vacay-to-the-outdoors had to be put on hold
cause I was still on high alert since I received those things. I burned those by the way along with Zama's
olive top. Anyway since that day I haven't received anything from this walking dead Tiger. No phonecall
no message no knocks on my windows...nothing. This either meant that he returned to his grave or he's
waiting for me to let my guard down in order for him to strike again.
"Can I put that in the boot too?"-I asked my now bearded sexy man. He quickly looked up to see what I
was pointing at and shook his head.
"No. It's heavy."-him.
"So? I want to help Xavier. You wouldn't even allow me to bring the tin opener because 'it's too sharp.' It
isn't even that sharp."-I complain imitating his voice. He stands up leaving the bag he had been securing
on the floor leaving the bag he had been securing on the floor placing his hands on his sides.
"Fine go ahead."-he gestures. I bend over to pick up the gas cylinder but soon regret it. This thing is
heavier than it looks!
I hear a snort from Xavier and I knew he was snorting at me. How dare he!
"I told you woman this thing is heavy. Leave it. You can put this bag in the boot instead."-he says causing
me to click my tongue.
"Albie! Azi! Wait!"-that is Xavier's mom calling us out as she jogged all the way to us. "Take this for the
road."-she hands me a box. "I've gone camping millions of times and these things would always slip my
mind and I'd regret not having them around."
I try peeking but she stops me. "In the car. You'll open it in the car. For now bye bye my children... I'll see
you when you come back."-she says before she throws herself at me arms surrounding me warmly. She
does exactly the same to Xavier before letting him go and holding him at arms length. "You better take
care of her. I want her back in one piece."
"And what about me? Don't you want her to bring me back here in one piece?"-Xavier asks.
"Get going you two I'm sure you want to show her the sunset."
"Mom...I'm your son!"-I laugh shaking my head.
"I'll take very good of your son. Come baby boy I have a sunset to see."-I say.
We get into the car right after he checks if the camper is secure for the 30th time. He reverses out of his
driveway and soon enough we're on the road going to God knows where. I open the the box that rested
on my lap. I chuckle. "You mom is a sweetheart."-I say.
"What's in there?"-him.
"Uhmm...let's see...condoms...lube...buttp-..."-I joke before he interrupts me.
"What? Lube?"-I laugh closing the box.
"Im kidding baby it's just extra things like toilet paper and wipes and all those nice things."
---
I can't believe I would've declined such a beautiful offer. I've personally never seen such a place
nevertheless such a view. It looked like something I'd only see in a magazine.
So earthy. So lively.
I wish I bought my painting equipment here for when I get bored.
I took in the view once again. A secluded wooden cabin which Xavier mentioned to have been keeping
their boats and other wooden things like wooden tables and actually wood. Next to it was a toilet. A
long drop toilet.
Behind it or actually behind where we parked was a whole thick luscious forest with those trees that
look like Christmas trees. Birds flew past as I looked up. Where Xavier had parked just had sand and
rocks all sizes. And then there's the breathtaking lake view which had a deep rich clear colour.
Is that even possible?
It looked like this place was free from all sorts of pollution you find back in Joburg. There's no paper or
cloud of smoke anywhere. No hooting just birds tweeting away. "You like it?"-he asks coming to stand
next to me. This is private property by the way which the King's owned proudly. It apparently belonged
to Xavier's grandfather before he left it for his mother who still owned this place. They'd come here
once every term to unwind with family. And now I'm here.
"It's beautiful."
"Just like you."-he smirks.
"That is so cheesy Xavier."-I giggle.
"But it's the truth."-he says and I eye him. He still looked amazing like he wasn't driving for 3 hours
straight. Okay it actually was more cause I needed the loo occasionally. I on the other hand just wanted
to sleep and I felt like I looked like that too. "Go get some rest."-him.
See.
I nod and take the campers keys from him.
---
It's 20h33 when I wake up. I'm hungry but I'm still very tired. I decide on waking up and checking up on
my man instead and grab a quick snack.
It's cooler outside. Light came from the fire Xavier had set alight. "Baby..."-he turned and looked my way
for a few seconds before signalling me to come closer.
"Immaculate timing babe. I just finished preparing our dinner. Nothing fancy just sandwiches."-he says. I
sit down next to him and he offers me a sandwich which I take.
Roasted beef lettuce onions and fresh tomatoes. I take the first full bite and nod in appreciation. "This is
good."-I mumble with a mouthful before he pulls me closer making me lie on his shoulders.
"I know right."-he chuckles.
"Mind teaching me...I think by now you know I suck at cooking."-me.

"A water burner."-he chuckles. I roll my eyes before joining his Laughing-at-Azania- fest.
"Whatever. But...you'll teach me right?"
"With pleasure Spencer."-Him. "So when can we expect more paintings from Azania Da Vinci?"-he drinks
his drink.
"Are you stalking my page Mr Blue eyes."
"Duhhhh...what do you think I do most of the time when I'm on break?"
"Uhmm...blow up my phone with about 100 calls just to ask me if I've eaten."-I bite my sandwich.
"Excuse me sisi but me? A 100 calls? Never."-He says.
"Mlungu I have proof okay."-I giggle and look up at him.
"Babes answer my question."
"I don't know Xavier I'm still stuck at the fact that I want to keep some of them since they remind me of
Zama."
"Don't you think you'd be keeping everything if you had to go by that. "-him. I shrug.
Well yes.
"You think I'm too over sentimental."-Me
"A little. I'm not saying forget Zama at all but...think of you too. What would she have wanted?"
I nod thinking about that. She would've wanted me to go forward.
The painting prostitute...
We finish off our dinner gazing upon the beautiful stars. Something you wouldn't see in the city of
Joburg. "I think I better go get changed and ready for bed officially."-me. He helps me up and I make my
way to the camper.
I remove my gladiators remember that my clothes were inside the boot. As I reached for the doorhandle
the door opened and Xavier stood there. "Where are going miss?"
"Our clothes are still in the boot mister."-I answer and he shakes his head.
"I don't think you need clothes tonight miss."-he smirks and I instantly blush feeling self-conscious.
"What do you mean?"-I breath out. The man has barely even touched me and I'm already shuddering.
It's been a while ...
"Want me to show you?"-he asks and I bite on the insides of my cheeks before nodding. He walks in and
I reverse. He reaches for my hand and pulls me closer to him and in an instant I find myself breathing
him in. He smells of smoke and Xavier. I like. Our lips lock and dance to a rhythm only we seemed to
understand. At one point it became intense...too intense to the point where it felt like my knees were
giving up on me.
I felt the below-the-knee maternity dress I was wearing get shorter and shorter...over my butt...over my
shoulders and eventually off my body. Again I became self-conscious.
Did I have to wear granny panties today?
My fingers fiddled with the loose top he had on and rushed it off his warm body. "Turn around."-he
ordered in a husky voice. That voice alone made me want to moan out loud. I turn around and face the
other direction. I feel his breath rushing down my neck bringing the hairs to attention. His cold fingers
unhook my bra letting my breats free. Instant lust...
I wanted him in me now but that didn't seem to be his plan. "Soft...tender...skin"-he whispered with
every wet kiss he left from my earlobe to my neck...to my shoulder and down my spine. I hissed out in
pleasure when he unexpectedly spanked my left butt cheek. He mercilessly squeezed the other and a
moan escaped my mouth.
"N...ow...please."-I beg.
"Not yet."-he spreads my legs a little before I feel his fingers tracing along the panty I wore.
"Xavier..."-he ignores me flatly and hooks his fingers on the band of these panties and pulls them down.
Oh crap I should've shaved!
I step out of them and breathe out. I feel one of his wet kisses on my butt cheek...and then another on
my back... and then back on my shoulder. His hand travels down the sides of my waist all the way to my
pussy. His fingers find my throbbing clit and he pinches it hard between two of his fingers. My head tilts
back resting on his neck while my hips rock closer to his fingers. He cups my breast and captures my
nipple. I moan shutting my eyes "Mine."-he utters.
"Yours."-I reply lost in ecstasy earning a deep chuckle from him.
"Im glad you know that baby."-he says and lets me go.
What the heck!?
"Turn around"- he orders again as if he didn't just stop something good. I turn. "Lie down."-him.
I reverse until I feel the bed hit the back of my legs and sit before lying down.
Why do I feel so clueless?
He comes and stands between my legs. I want to be free but I honestly feel so pregnant and awkward.
He takes both my legs and spreads them even further before hovering over me my legs bending with
him as he came forward. "Relax baby."-he whispers and slowly enters me. I tighten around him before
placing my hands on his shoulders and gasp. I hear him curse.
I don't think I can relax now.
My mind is going haywire with all sorts of sudden thoughts.
What is he thinking of me?
What am I thinking of myself?

I know I don't look the same...gosh...where is my confidence!
"Baby look at me."-he lets go of one of my legs and runs his hand through his hair. "I need you here."
"I..."-I trail off looking into his blue lust filled eyes. My mind and body are at 2 different places right now.
I let go of his shoulders and help myself up instantly coming closer to his face.
"We can do this at another time if you're not ready."
"I am ready Xavier."-I reply rather too quickly and bring his face closer to mine and devour on them.
Maybe I just needed to take the lead. I break the the kiss and breathe out a "move."-before rotating my
hips. I pushed out every thought that was negative and reassured myself. I was perfect for him
right...otherwise we wouldn't be here...in this position.
Sheesh!
His deep thrusts ruin me before we've even go far...bringing me to my first unexpected orgasm.
"That's my girl."-Xavier. He picks up his pace intensifying the moment. My body indeed started feeling
alive. He buries his head on my neck nibbling and kissing never losing focus on what he's doing between
my thighs.
In...
Out...
Fast.
"Yes!"-I cry out before feeling my next release knocking on Faith's door. My toes curl and my insides
clenched tightly. I felt his hand on my clit. Rubbing.
"Let go baby."-he groans and his words become my undoing. I cry out as pure powerful pleasure washes
over me leaving me beyond spent...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wake feeling delicious and overslept. Last night really wore me out honesty... And I liked it even though
I needed to work on myself. I kind of felt like I still needed to find my confidence back.
Maybe that will happen after I give birth.
I pat the side of his bed but feel that I was alone in this bed. I sigh and sit up stretching my neck and
shortly after yawn.
Wait what's this!?
My eyes instantly widen as shock overcomes me. I carefully jump off the bed and put his slippers on and
my dress. My heart is on the fast lane as I open the door and freeze. His smile sweeps me away and I
realised how serious he is about this. Where did he even find rose petals? I kept reading what the
balloons spelled out and my heart would just melt afresh. A few centimeters away was a white line
which devided us.
Oh gosh my tears!
He chuckles nervously before he gets down on one knee and I quickly wipe away my tears. "Can you
hear me?"-he spoke and I nodded quickly.
"Yes I can."-me.
"Good cause I need your full attention woman.-he says. "I'll have you know that I googled this beautiful
speech but now it's gone with the wind. In other words the heavens want me to speak from the heart."-I
sniff and wipe more of my tears away before hugging myself. "Azania Mnguni standwa sam (my love)..."-
I didn't teach him that! "... I remember the first day you jogged into my life and said my name wrong.
You even freaked out thinking I was going to hurt you..."-I smile.
Sheeshhhhh!
"...I promised myself that I'll get you in my life even if it meant being friendzoned. Azania people think
I'm crazy when I say I'm in love with a black beautiful and strong woman like yourself. Today I'm on my
knee asking you to make me a complete man again. Take me as I am with my heavy baggage and
troubles. Say yes and be my Mrs King...Cross this line and be mine..."
Sheesh mlungu how could you do this to my heart...
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
26
Chapter 26
♡
♡
No.
He's not serious.
He can't be serious.
I think I pinch myself 3 times before confirming that this was really really and I mean really happening.
I never thought in all my years of life that I'd witness such. I've seen it all phela from men with the
weirdest of fetishes...to a man laying dead in front of me but a man on his knee asking me to be theirs
has only happened in my wild-never-going-to-happen dreams. I look down at the rock on my finger
before looking back up again and bite on the insides of my cheeks. The worry on his beautiful blue eyes
has me charmed.
Okay...maybe he is serious. This is a serious Xavier which I've seen a couple of times. I free my cheeks
and sigh. "Would you hate me if I said no?"-I joke. I need him to stop worrying cause I'm pretty sure
everyone knows I'd say yes to this.
How can I not?
I'm officially accepting that I'm in love here with my mlungu who's proved to me more than once that he
genuinely loves and cares about me. I'm not even that experienced with this love thing but I'm sure this
is it. It has to be it.
"Of course I'd hate you woman. Are you joking right now?!"-him.
Oh my word he's angry.
I chuckle inwardly before taking my first step forward these oversized slipper making me extra cautious.
I walk until I get to the white line barrier which separated me from my man...
Sheesh...
My man!
Mama can you see me now?
"I know you love me Xavier just as much as I've realised how much I love you. There's no doubt about
that but I want you to promise me that crossing this line won't be a mistake. That you'll never ever judge
me for my past and that I won't be second best. I want you to promise me that I won't be compared to
Melissa and that you two will end your so-called marriage without you looking back."-I say. He told a
few days back that his lawyer told him the only best solution for his matter would be to go to court and
settle things there. Melissa was not having any of it but then it has to be done because Xavier was
clearly not happy.
"I promise Azania."-he confesses. I trusted him wholeheartedly even though I knew words didn't mean
much. I step over the line still looking down at him. This meant yes right?
He stands up dusting off his knee before taking both my hands in his. "You crossed it."
"Duh..."- I utter rolling my eyes.

"You crossed the line... She crossed the line!"-he yells and seconds later I'm in his hold being lifted up a
little and then get smothered in kisses all over my face. The joyful laugh he gives me afterwards is
priceless and contagious.
"You crossed the line! She said yes!"
---------------------------------------------------------
Two days down the line and I'm honestly happy about the fact that we're headed back to civilization.
Don't get me wrong I loved the outdoor experience and the clean fresh air but I missed the television a
good warm shower and even the Almighty flushing toilet.
We've been on the road for about 2 hours now and since we left the campsite I've been stuck on this
rock on my finger. I think I've been like this too for the past two days. I refused to bath with it because I
think I'd go crazy if I lost it in that lake. Imagine...wait no don't.
I finally avert my attention from my rock to my man. It feels nice to call him that honestly. He's so
focussed on the road ahead and it's quite...hot. He's sexy too. Very...very...sexy.
"Stop drooling."-he snaps me out of my day dreaming fest. He quickly looks at me and smirks before
focusing back on the road.
"Who said I was drooling?"-I give him a questionable look. "Are you the master of spotting droolers?"
"Baby. I know you are drooling."-he chuckles. "I know I'm irresistible."
I roll my eyes laughing. "You're stupid."
"Why thank you."-he says sarcastically. I move a little closer and lay my head on his shoulder before
closing my eyes. It's not one of the best positions I've ever been in but it's tolerable.
"Your shoulder is so fucking hard."-I complain.
"No one forced you to sleep on my shoulder."
Ouch.
"This relationship was a mistake...oh my gosh."-I joke.
"You're just being dramatic."
"Excuse me... I'm being dramatic?"-I remove my head from his shoulder and give him a look.
"Too dramatic. You love me and you know very well that this relationship is never going to end. That's a
fact."-he says and I find myself blushing.
"Mhnnn... I'll take your word for it."-I laid back on his shoulder as the journey went further back to the
mother city.
"You hungry?"-he asks after a long while.
"Obviously."-am I ever not hungry?
"Pizza?"
"Hell no!"-I nearly snap and throw a tantrum.
"Woah okay... No pizza then. What do you want to eat?"-he asks.
"Anything other than pizza."-me. I remove myself from his shoulder and look out of the window before
sighing. I hated pizza too the max.
"What about a burger? Burgers don't make you angry right?"-he asks.
Please don't tell me he thinks I'm being dramatic...

"Yeah sure..."-I answer dryly. I probably wasn't even that hungry anymore.
We stop at a garage that has a burger franchise. He finally manages to find a proper parking space after
a lot of searching. It is also -by my luck- closer to the entrance which means I won't be walking very far. I
was feeling very lazy. Xavier switches off the car engine before stepping out first. I don't wait for him to
come all the way around to open up for me and seeing that he was well in his way here for that he huffs.
"What!"-I tease. "I'm pregnant not disabled right?"
"I'm trying to be a romantic gentleman here woman."-he justifies and takes my hand entwining my
fingers with his. They're warm...and soft.
We walk in and find a table for two. He quickly pulls out a chair for me before I could do that myself.
"Sit."
I do before he sits opposite me.
Seconds later a waiter comes to our aid.
"Hello and welcome I'm Bella would you like to place an order?"
Bella. She's tall and too skinny to be working at a food place in my opinion...But anyway the way she's
looking at Xavier is making me somewhat angry.
"Uhmm... Yes please. My wife and I..."-she looks at me subtly shocked and I suppress my devious smirk.
"...would like two burgers and fries. Two Cokes too."
"Two what Sir?"-she asks snapping out of whatever thought she was in.
"Two Cokes Bella."-she nods after writing it down and scatters away to get our orders.
"You should see how cute you are when you're jealous."-he chuckles and sits back on his seat as if asking
me to look at his handsome self. He folds his hands in front of his chest and licks his bottom lip.
"I wasn't being jealous."
"Oh."
"Do I look like the jealous kind?"-me.
He shakes his head.
"Not necessary but you did look like you were about to bite the poor girls' head off."
"So you're saying I look rachet?"
"I'm not saying anything."-him. My phone vibrates and I grab it from the table.
Rendani.
A text. *Are you back and free for a meet up tomorrow? I'm off.*-her text read. I look up when Xavier
gets up and takes his chair moving with it all the way next to me. Eh.
The eyes on us!
I give him a questionable look but he only answers it by pecking my cheek. Okay. I really hope these
people don't think I fed this man some type of juju.
I focus back on my phone and the text Rendani just sent me and contemplate on the fact that she wants
to see me tomorrow.
*I'll be at my place at around 15h00. So yeah. Tomorrow it is! Where and when?*-I text her back and
put my phone back on the table. He's in my space and it doesn't seem to bother him at all.
Bella brings our tray of food and before putting it down she had a glitching moment while looking at us.
"Uhmm..."
"You can put the food right there."-he says before I feel his tongue on my earlobe biting gently.
What the flip!
"Xavier!"-I exclaim looking around. If I could turn red like he could I'd be a tomato right now.
"Whsehranmagzine.comat?"-he shrugs as if nothing happened. "Thank you Bella you can go now."
Poor girl became a candle holder for a moment there. She nodded and turned to leave. "You're the
worst you know that."
"I may be the worst but atleast now she knows you're really mine."-him. I shake my head and pull the
tray a little closer to us so we could start eating.
We left as soon as we could with me smothering a cup of ice cream. I honestly couldn't stop myself.
*12h30 @ Mugg and bean. I'll send you the location of which one exactly.*-her text read.
*Sure thing*-me.
---
"Ahhh! Xavier!"-Suzanné exclaimed bringing my hand closer to her face in complete awe. "Why didn't
you tell me about this!?"
"Because you could've told her and messed up everything."-he answers her taking out his luggage from
the boot.
"I'm not like that Albie. I'm a civilised adult I can keep a secret."
"Yeah right where's mom?"
"She went out on a date."
"A what?!"-Xavier stops doing what he's doing and looks at Suz with the most shocked facial expression
ever.
"A date with some guy named Carrick."
"The fuck are you telling me! Mom just went out there with a complete stranger?"-Xavier half yells
causing Suz to sigh boredly and let go of my hand.
"Xavier relax."-me. He looks at me and for the first time ever in my life I felt like I shouldn't have said
that.
"Azania stay out of this."
Sheesh okay.
"Albie. Don't do that."-Suz.
"When will she be back?"-he asks and Suzanné shrugs.
"She's an adult Albie."
He chuckles bitterly before continuing to unpack more of his stuff and even some of mine. I'll blame it
on his anger.
When he's done unpacking he gets into his car and drives off to go put the camper in the garage where
it was. Suz and I took the baggage inside.
"I hope he didn't offend you he gets like that with our mother. "
I nod and put one of the bags on his bed. We were in his room and it was really nice. Probably even
bigger than my actual apartment.
Okay it got to me. The fact that he didn't want me commenting about his mother and I in the name of
keeping him calm. "You look upset."
"I'll get over it."-I mumble and right after that I hear him walk in.
"You were really mean to Azania today Albie."-Suzanné says and rests her hand on my shoulder.
"Can you... Give us some space Anne."-him.
Seconds later she leaves my side and I'm left with Xavier.
"I apologise for what I said to you. I shouldn't have."
"It's whatever."-I utter dryly. I feel his hand take mine and he squeezes before making me turn and face
him.
"Azania."
"What Xavier? I sooo don't want to talk to you right now...just take me to my place."-I dismiss him and
force my hand out of his. I dig the keys out of his back pocket and after finding them I rush out.
"That was a short talk."-Suzanné.
"Tell your brother to come drive me home."-I say and open the door.
"He's your fiance right now you tell him."
Zimu.
Mxm.
Xavier finally comes out of his mama's house eating an apple and carrying one of my backpacks. The
moment he climbs back in he asks for his keys which I give to him freely. It's about time he showed up.
"Apple?"-he offers. I shake my head. "Are you still angry?"-I shake my head again. "Woman speak."
"No I'm not angry Xavier. "
"Good. Can you smile for me then?"
"No I'm not angry Xavier. "
"Good. Can you smile for me then?"
"No just drive me back to my apartment."
"No smile no drive."-he says.
Well I'll be damned.
I force a smile and look at him. "That looks so fake but I'll drive because I see your sexy stubborn self
won't let me win."-he says and starts the engine.
Oh so I'm sexy and stubborn?
---
I walked up the stairs...okay I'm lying. I struggled up the stairs and I honestly wanted to rejoice when I
reached the floor my room was at. I get my key and unlock. After closing my door I switch on the lights
and toss my bag to my couch when I find my phone.
14h36.
Before I could even use my phone a knock on the door disturbs me.
"Who is it?"-me.
"Ghana."
"The fuck."-I whisper to myself. What is he doing here. "Go away."-I say hoping that would atleast chase
him away but instead he knocks again.. and again...and again.
"I said go away."
"I just need to talk to you Azania. Just 2 minutes."-he begs. "Please Azania."
Sheesh.
I go open the door halfway and look at him and he immediately flashes me his beautiful smile. "Speak."
"Hau aren't you going to let me in?"-him.
I open the door a little more but don't let him in. "So this is how it's going to be like? Are you scared of
something maybe? I don't bite Azania."-he smirks.
"Just say what you want to say and leave please I have things to do."-things like sleeping and eating.
"Ouch okay I'll just say...what is that?"-he says after trailing off. I frown.
"What is what?"-me. He grabs my left hand roughly and turns it to my face.
What the heck!
"This Azania what the fuck is this?!"-he roars the smiling Ghana completely gone from the surface of
Earth.
"Your hurting me Ghana!"-I try removing his hand from mine but it's no use since he has an iron grip.
"Answer me damnit!"
"Let me go!"
"Bitch!"-he shouts and pushes me away. I think my mind shuts down for a second as I take in what's
happening right now. Who's this man in front of me now?
I back up reversing past my coffee table which he pushes away in one go. I think I hear it break. I'm
panicking and Invader isn't being peaceful anymore.
"Get out of my apartment Ghana!"-I yell but he's not listening.
Why the fuck is he attacking me?
I try running away but he's too fast and in a second my back hits the wall sending instant pain right
down my back. I couldn't even focus on that since his hand goes onto my neck and he presses. Hard. I
struggle for air as I scratch his hand. "You fucking marrying this idiot now Azania!"-he keeps on
squeezing. My tears keep rolling down my cheeks. I'm hurting in so many ways that I kind of accepted
whatever will happen here.
I look into his eyes.
He's angry.
He's not the Ghana I've seen before.
"Gh...an...a..."-I breathe out.
It looks like he finally snaps out of whatever personality he was in and let's me go. I instantly gravitate to
the floor and gasp for air. My lungs refuse it for the first few gasps making me cough painfully.
"Azania...I...I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."-he keeps repeating. He kneels in front of me and
attempts to touch me but I find some strength deep within me to push him away.
"Get. Out."-me.
"Azania I'm sorry. I'm sor-..."
"GET OUT!"-I cut him off. He gets up panicked and rushes out of here leaving me all alone.
Do I really invite trouble though or my guard has really come down?

---------------------------------------------------------
"You don't look pleased to see me."-Rendani says sitting down.
"I'm going through some things right now."
She gasps. "Like that ring!"
Argh.
"I nearly died because of this."-I mumble.
"What do you mean?"-her. The excitement she had fades away fast. She puts her purse and phone on
the table before folding her arms in front of her chest.
"I got attacked yesterday by this guy I know and worked for."
"What?"-her. It feels wayyyyy better telling her than telling Xavier. Forgive me.
"Yep."
"His name?"
"Ghana."-me.
"Ghana? He hit you?"-she asks me. I look at her and shake my head.
"You know him?"
"Uhmm... no...no I don't know him personally. I... I just heard about him on the news. Ghana Montanga
right?"-I nod.
"Anyway he didn't hit me he just strangled me."
"Wh...why would he strangle you?"-she asks.
"I don't know."-I look at her shift in her seat before taking her phone and getting up.
"I... I'm just going to the...the...the loo for a second. You can order for us okay."-she rushes off leaving
me to order for the 2 of us.
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Xavier's POV.
"You're going to regret this Xavier."-Melissa spoke to me as we made our way to where we parked. I
look at her before looking back at my phone and try calling Azania and for the 100th time she rejects.
This woman will honestly be the death of me!
Why isn't she answering my calls!?
"So your skank won't answer your calls now?"
"She's not a skank Melissa."-I state. I've been trying to call Azi to tell her the awesome news. I'm
officially a free man and it feels great. Since Melissa refused to sign the papers my lawyer told me of
another option I could try which worked in my favor at the very end.
"Matt."-Melissa said as she stood in front if him. Matt is the oldest and the one who clearly hated me for
doing what I'm doing to his mom.
"So daddy is no longer our daddy?"-him.
"Yes honey he doesn't love mommy anymore."

"That means he doesn't love us anymore too right?"-Matt says and looks to Luke who walks out of the
car followed by Nancia their nanny. "He probably never loved us anyway."-he adds.
"Matt no don't say that about your father okay. Your father is a good man."-Melissa.
"Then why did he leave us? Why did he leave you?"-he questions.
This boy is too smart for my liking these days.
"Matt your mom and I made this decision just so that the two of you can be happy again okay."
"But we were happy with you around daddy."-Luke says and I sigh heavily.
How do I tell them I've lost complete trust and love for this woman mothering them?
How do I even tell them that their father is a bad boy somewhere out there who I've grown to hate?
"Luke Matt. I think it's time we leave okay. Quickly get into the car for mommy okay. Buckle them up
Nancia."-Melissa tells them and they don't oblige.
Why is she still not answering!
"Could you stop fussing with your phone and focus on your kids and I!"-her. I give her a bored
expression.
"Look here Melissa first of all those kids are not even mine to begin with. You lied to me multiple times
and to top that off you cheated on me. Not once but fucking twice Melissa and you expect me to give
two fucks for you Matt and Luke?! No!"-me.
"But baby-..."-I put my hand up and she stops talking.
"No. You lost all your rights to even call me that the day you opened your legs for another."
"Isn't that the same shit your stupid girlfriend did?"-she says and folds her arms.
I swear I'll slap this girl!
I turn and walk away. I didn't have time to argue with this girl when I have more important things to
worry about.
"Yeah keep running away Xavier but the truth will always remain that your bitchy ass bitch is a whore!"-
she yells.
---
I'm in her apartment. It's been an hour already and no sign of her whatsoever. Her coffee table is
cracked. Odd.
I've even given up on trying to call her now because my calls went straight to voicemail. Maybe it's time I
put a tracker on that woman for in case she pulled one of these stunts again. It would put my heart at
ease.
Her bracelet laid on her bedside table. She claimed hers was broken or something like that which is why
she hasn't worn it for so long. It looked pretty fine to me though. I put it down before it even started
changing color and sigh running my hands through my hair out of frustration.
Azi.
I sit down in her bed and lay back.
I'm woken up by the sound of something falling onto the floor.
"Shit!"-she curses and bends to pick up the fallen object. I sit up and instantly observe my baby from
head to toe.
She dropped a paint bottle.
Cute.
"Azania."-she looks at me and quickly hides her hands behind her back.
"Mhn?"
"I've been calling you all day long."-I get off the bed and make my way to her.
"Oh that...my...my phone died. I'm sorry about that."-she lied straight to my face. I've grown to notice
her reactions when she'd lie to me and she doesn't seem to notice this.
"Where have you been?"-me.

"Out. With Rendani."
"Oh. I have great news baby."-I smile and grab ahold of her waist. She's nervous. I hold her forearms and
attempt to move them forward. She's stiff.
"Great news?"
"Yeah I actually want you to guess."
"Xavier I'm a terrible guesser."-she says.
"Okay fine I'll tell you anyway. I am officially and legally free from that woman."
"Woman? Which woman?"-her.
"Duh."-I say and find her hands. "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing. I'm just overwhelmed by this I mean I never thought we'd come to this moment."-she says
and I finally find her fingers. Nothing. I frown and so does she.
"What?"
"Where's your ring?"-me.

SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
27
Chapter 27
"Uhmm..."-Crap. I shouldn't have given this man my keys. Finding him here scared the crap out of me
and quite honestly my life seemed to be going well for a few seconds and then the next not so great...
"Answer me Azania. Where's your ring?"-he asks me again.

Crap.
"I took it off and put it in my purse"-I decide to tell him. He frowns and looks at me with a little more
anger now. I knew what his next question consisted of and I didn't want to hear it.
"Why?"-I look away. "Are you having doubts already?"
"No! It's just that I...I was about to work with paint and I didn't want to get it dirty."-I lie. I couldn't.
Forgive me. He's still looking at me with an angry facial expression.
"You keep on lying to me Azania and I don't like it."
"I'm not lying Xavier..."-he lets me go and walks out of my room shutting the door behind him. I sigh out
of relief go to my bag that laid on the bed and dig out my purse. I slip my rock back on my finger and
take a look at it.
"Xavier."-I call him when I find him seated on the couch. He's staring at nothing but I know he heard me.
"What happened to your table?"-he asks blankly. He then turns his face and looks my way. "What
happened to your table Azania!"-he yells and I jump out of shock. He's on his feet. "I'm not going to ask
you again Azania."
"It was Ghana."-I spit.
"Ghana? What was Ghana doing here when I told you to stay away from him!!"
"Don't yell at me!"-me.
"I'm going to yell at you Azania especially if your ass doesn't listen to me!"-he shouts again. I shrink. I
feel like crying. "Azania what was Ghana doing here!?"
"I didn't let him in."-I whine.
"What. Was. Ghana. Doing. Here?"-he emphasises the question again.
"He...he said he wanted to talk to me."
"And...!"-oh my word he's fuming. I'm literally shaking and crying and nervous and so damn angry at
myself. "Azania And?!"-he yells when I seem to take forever with my answer.
"And then he...he saw my ring and started questioning me about it..."
"Talk!"-him.
"I am talking Xavier!"-me. He honestly doesn't need to shout at me like this. We're both adults here. "I...
I...then he pushed me in a-..."
"He then what?"-he says and squints his eyes clenching his fists. His eyes looked dark. I wipe my tears
away with the back of my hand.
"He...pushed me."-he chuckles bitterly.
"What else did he do?"-he asks as if not wanting me to answer him. But I know he does.
"My neck is covered in...in make up"-not long after I mention that his hand goes onto my neck and
attempts to smudge it off to see what I'm talking about. He doesn't like what he sees especially since he
looks away in complete disgust.
"Azania I hate liars. I despise them even and for you to not even bother telling me about makes me..."-
he gives me that bitter chuckle again before looking back at me. "...I don't hate you Azania."-his voice is
low.
"Xavier I ju-..."
"Don't. You're done talking. Give me your keys."-he says after cutting me off.
"My keys for what?"-me. He doesn't answer but keeps his hand out for me to put my keys there. I sigh
and go fetch them from the kitchen counter. Upon my return to where he was standing I hand him my
key. The next thing he does is move past me all the way to my door. "Xavier."-I'm ignored completely.
I watch him take his key and walk out before I hear the sound of the key turning in the slot.
He's locking me in!
No!
I sit on the couch and wonder where the heck he was going.
I sit...
I worry...
I change sitting positions...
I start worrying even more...

I look at my ring and taste the bitterness on my tongue. I made him promise me things before agreeing
to this and now I'm the one messing up. I'm the one holding back information. I'm the one who's locked
up in my own damn apartment for keeping my mouth shut.
I sit up when I hear the door unlock and soon after open. It's him. An almost jacked up him. "Xavier..."
"Pack your things we're leaving."-he says and I shoot up.
"What?"
"I wasn't speaking Chinese now was I?"-him.
"But-..."
"Azania! Just pack your shit and let's go. Or you want me to take you just as you are?"-He says and I rush
to my room to pack my stuff.
He's in the bathroom washing off what I believe is Ghana's blood.
Oh Zimu.
"You done?"-him. I eye him as he stood at the door.
I shake my head and continue packing things inside my bag. When I'm done filling it up I zip it and he
comes to fetch it. "You can take your bathing stuff too but leave the rest."
He walks out of here carrying the bag leaving me to fetch the things he said I should fetch. A toothbrush
lotion and more of the perks. I'm just wondering if I'll ever be able to set foot in this place again
or...because Zama's things are still here. My painting equipment is still here.
Almost everything is still here.
After putting my toiletries into my toiletry bag I go take my phone and charger. I even rush to the
kitchen to fetch my unopened Ultramel litre.
This can't be staying behind.
Just as I was about to step out he stepped in. "Go wait in the car."-he says. I nod and attempt to walk
past him but he stops me places two cold fingers under my chin makes me look up at him before
smacking his moist lips on mine... For the longest peck ever.
When he finally pulls out of the kiss I'm left in a daze. A daze I'm trying to analyze. "To the car woman."-
he says like he didn't just make my knees weak.
I nod again taking my dazed-self to his car after he stuffed my hand with his car keys.
Minutes later he comes to the car carrying another bag.
Sheesh.
I've already downed some of my Ultramel and there are absolutely no regrets so far. He drives ahead to
his place this time around.
---
I'm seated at the lounge while he's somewhere in the kitchen claiming to be whipping me something
light to eat after this heavy day.
Xavier's phone rings from his table.

"Your phone is ringing!"-me.
"Answer it!"-he requests back.
Eh...
I reach for it and answer it quickly.
"Hello?"-me.
"Hello...Xavier you sound like a woman."-the female voice on the other end said and I chuckled.
"I sound like a woman because I am one...but this isn't Xavier."
"Where is he?"-she asks.
"He's in the the kitchen."-I say walking to it. "...uhmm Xavier."-I offer him his phone but he shakes his
head and mouths a "put it on loudspeaker."
I do.
Who was I even speaking to right now cause it didn't sound like any of the other ladies I knew.
"Hellooooo..."-her.
"Liv?"
Oh he knows her.
"Albie sup?"-her.
"I'm great actually. How did it feel like talking to my fiancee?"-him.
I was called fiancee!
I'm guessing we're okay now.
"That was her?"-Liv.

"Olivia. Yes it was."-he removes his pot from the stove and reaches for a dish cloth.
"She sounds lovely."
"That's because she is. Anyway why are you calling me? You never call me."-he says.
I get myself some water.
Yes I'm eavesdropping.
"Big bro you're painting a terrible picture about me right now."
"What do you want Liv?"-Xavier.
"Bro I need a place to crash at for a few days...think you can help me out?"
"Why not talk to Mom about this? She lives alone you know that right?"
"I do Albie...I mean Xavier. But last time I checked you lived alone too."-she sulks.
"Liv..."-he pauses. "... who answered your phone call today? Not some random chick correct?"
"But...Xavier you know Mom and I don't click that well Albie and to be honest I don't think she'll like
what I'll have to tell her."-Liv says as I gulp down the last bit of my water. She sounds like a wild one.
"Pleaseee Albie I'm desperately here."
"This is only for a few days right?"-Xavier asks.
"Yes I promise."-she says and Xavier turns to look at me.
Oh I've been caught in the act of eavesdropping.
"I'm sorry...I should go."-me.
"Where to? Don't be weird you were allowed to listen anyway. I just want to hear if it's okay with you if
she comes and stay with us for a few days."-He says and I shrug.
I just got here and I'm already being asked for permission of who gets to live here and who doesn't?
Sheesh...
"Well?"-him.
"I don't know Xavier this is your house not mine."
"It's not mine anymore. It's ours now and your input matters here."
Hmmm...
I shrug again and put my empty glass on the sink. "Please Xavier's fiancee. I promise not to bother the
two of you. You won't even notice my presence."-she begs. For a moment there I actually forgot we
were still chowing her airtime.
"Don't lie Liv."-Xavier.
She chuckles. "Okay maybe you will notice my presence...But I'll try and be subtle."
"It's fine Xavier. She can come."-I don't want her hating me in the end for something like denial-of-a-
room to sleep in.
I hear her celebrate on the other end of the line.
"Thank you guys. See you tomorrow you won't regret it."-she hangs up on that note.
"Well. We're doomed."-he says dramatically.
"She can't be that bad."
"You'll see."-he says. "I'm done cooking let me quickly dish up for the three of us."-I was about to
question the 'three of us' part when it clicked. I watch him grab a plate and dish up. Steak mash peas
and a gravy of some sort...but I see no pap or rice for that matter. I won't ask.
He puts the plate on the counter before coming to stand in front of me.
"What?"-me. He shakes his head and goes for my hips
Sehranmagzine.com
or rice for that matter. I won't ask.
He puts the plate on the counter before coming to stand in front of me.
"What?"-me. He shakes his head and goes for my hips lifting me up. "The heck! Xavier!"-I utter shocked.
He gently puts me on the same counter he put the food at just next to it.
Poor me.
"Now..."-he pulls one of the kitchen high chairs closer and sits. "...we can eat."
"Why can't I sit on a chair too?"-I semi-sulk.
"Because I want you on the counter."
I roll my eyes and shimmy back to get comfortable.
He actually starts feeding me. My life. But I'm loving it especially if it means I'm forgiven.
--------------------------------------------------
I awaken from my slumber and stare directly at the ceiling. It still looks quite early but I don't feel like
sleeping anymore. Xavier is gone. I don't even know where he went to. I'm not panicking.
I reach for my phone from the bedside table and check the time. 07h11. Sheesh.
I go through my Facebook and Instagram account stalking a few people including Xavier_K. I had to. He
had posted more new selfies that I reacted to and some random ones which I didn't know about that I
was in. The nerve of this man! I remember saying that I'd get him back for these random pics he posts of
me and I haven't been able to do that. He posted a GIF. A GIF that was of the proposing day. Argh no
man! I shouldn't have worn his slippers! I mean look at me. Does this guy honestly have cameras
everywhere ready to take ugly photos of me..
"Morning Spencer darling."-Xavier says walking in looking sweaty and... Yeah nevermind. I keep quiet.
He closes the door behind him and stands there for a while before frowning at me. "Errrr I was at the
gym thank you for asking."-him. I can see that.
"Spencer speak to me."-him.
"Are you out of your mind!"
"Oh Lord...here comes the drama train. What are we fighting about this morning then baby?"-he asks
and my mouth forms an O before I quickly fold my arms in front of my chest.
"The drama train Xavier really!? What are you trying to say exactly?"-me.
"Me? I'm just saying that we fight almost everyday and that habit seems to be your new found hobby...
Tell me more about today's fight."-he
says and comes to sit by my legs on the bed. I throw my phone at him and he catches it. Good. Cause I
would've caused more drama with that. I watch him unlock the phone and scroll while clearly looking at
his posts. "Well what exactly am I looking at here?"
"Me! Can't you see how crappy I look in almost all those pictures?"
"I don't see anything."
"Excuse me? Look at this...a fat looking slob who has ugly hair and is wearing oversized slippers. Look at
the dress Xavier!"-I kept emphasising. When he finally looked up he gave me a bored facial expression.
"You don't even look fat Azania."
"But the hair!"
"You just woke up didn't you? I don't expect you to wake up looking like Beyonce baby and no don't take
that personally. I even wrote here that your fine ass just woke up to thi-..."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better about you posting my ugly photos?"-I ask. He gives me a dead
facial expression before getting up and hanging me my phone back.
"I don't think I want to continue with this 'talk' of ours. I'm too sweaty for this."
"Oh so you're leaving me here!?"
"Yes. Clearly you've made up your mind about this... And if I were to continue fighting with you I'd be
late for work."-he says and heads off to the bathroom. I sigh and lie back on the bed frustrated. I'm
doing it again aren't I? The whole blowing everything out of proportion thing...I unlock my phone and
look okay the pictures again.
Okay.
Maybe my semi-fine-ass doesn't look that bad. Infact I kinda look... cute.
Sheesh.
I should probably go and apologize. I get out of bed and again end up wearing his slippers. I quickly make
up the bed before heading to the bathroom. No steam. I look at his fine self through the glass door and I
swear I drool a little. Everything is in the right place. He finally turns around and his eyes meet mine
instantly widening.
"Ah Azania! Privacy!"-he says hiding his man bits. I roll my eyes.
"Don't be me Xavier."-I chuckle and move forward to open the shower door.
"I'm still showering woman."
''I can see that...I came here to apologise I was a bit irrational back there."
"A bit?"
"I'm trying here Xavier honestly I am... And I don't want you giving up on me."-I say.
"Pass me a towel real quick."-I reach for one and hand it to him before he shuts the shower taps and
wraps himself in the towel. "I won't be giving up on you anytime soon babe but I want you to know I still
want you to go to therapy and get your mind right."-he says and looks away. "Plus I think it's wise I do
the same... I've been through the worst relationship ever"-he says putting his hand on his chest
completely changing this serious situation into something minor sounding.
I nod before he takes me into his hold. I don't mind the fact that he's still wet from the shower he just
took but I do mind the fact that I'm about to engage in worthless expensive therapy again. At this point I
doubt I'd be doing this for myself but actually for him.
"Olivia will be here after 12h00 brace yourself"-he says after letting me go. Oh gosh.
"Should I prepare a room for her?"-I ask this really stupid question.
Like where do you think she'll sleep? On the floor Azania?
"Yeah. Prepare the one on the far end of this passage. If my sister is still anything like before then we
should keep her far away from our room."-he says and walks out of here leaving me and my mind to run
wild. Is this Olivia woman a witch or something?
Sheesh
Minutes later he leaves me all alone in this big house where I can feel myself being out of proportion.
And since I was kinda forced to come live here I don't think my head is and was mentally prepared...
I head back upstairs after watching him drive away for the longest time ever. This is a nice place. The
guest room is finished within 50 minutes and I personally think I've outside myself. The next thing I focus
on is something to eat. Something quick and easy to do. Something that won't give my guest food
poisoning or leave her scarred for life. I Google...
Samoosas? Wait those easy to make?
Pancakes...pshhht no.
Spaghetti and meatballs?
What could go wrong there...

I get the pasta out and...great. Xavier doesn't have mince. I tell out of frustration. I instantly return the
spaghetti back where I found it and resort to the thing I was best at. Ordering food online.
I inwardly thank the internet for this immaculate creation. I'll order some seafood prepare a few bowls
I'd put the food in and pass it off as mine. But for now some me-time in this huge house. I wander
around. A room I've never been in... Okay that's stupid since there are plenty of rooms I've yet to
explore. This specific room is locked. I roll my eyes and continue off to the next one. It's just an empty
room. The next has a boy theme going on and for a child's room it's pretty clean.
I take one of the photos that were on the bedside table and stare at it. A cute boy with the pinkest
cheeks I've ever seen. His haircut is cute too. I put the one in my hand down and go for the other one.
Two boys this time around and I can't seem to decide on who is the cutest here.
Sheesh... Invader.
After showering I went to watch some well deserved television while waiting for my order. It was now
11h09 and I'm hoping Liv doesn't mind cold food. There's a knock on the door. "That was fast."-I
mumble to myself before rushing to the door.
"Who is it?"
"It's me... I mean L to the I to the V."-the person on the other side of the door says.
Wait what...Liv?
Crap. She's early.
I open the door and nearly fall over with mere shock. What I see in front of me I doubt I'd ever be able
to forget.
All black everything. Tattoos everywhere. Piercings everywhere... And lastly these beautiful blue eyes.
"Duuudddeeee you're like so pregnant right now. Wassup? Can I bring my luggage in?"-she says and I
swear I didn't know what to say for a few good seconds. That's not what you usually say when you first
meet a person is it?
A guy appears from behind her carrying a few more bags. I frown. How many years is this woman
staying here for exactly?
"Who's that?"-I ask.
She looks at the person who's behind her and instantly blushes.
Oh no.
"This is my boyfriend Josh..."-her. Josh instantly puts the bags he's carrying Down and sticks his hand out
for a handshake.
What the heck is going on here?
He's exactly what she has and it's quite interesting how they are just linked together it seems.
"I'm sorry...I don't do handshakes."-I say with a forced smile.
"Oh. Again I thank you for allowing us to crash here. It means a lo-..."
"Wait what did you just say?"-I ask. Olivia looks at me with pitiful eyes.
"Look I totally get that Josh here wasn't a part of our agreement but that's where I was like hoping to
have to by my side."
"By your side?"-me.
"Yeah... Like you could like ask him for me cause I'm certain he'd listen to you."
"Olivia no."-me.
"Come on...I swear you won't even notice we're here."-she pleaded.
"Fine come in..."- I'm calling Xavier as soon as they put their bags in the guest room. With the last bag
they take upstairs I'm already dialing away. It rings twice before he answers.
"I hope you didn't burn my house down trying to cook 2 minute noodles."-him.
"Haha very funny Xavier."-I say rolling my eyes.
"Mhn. I can smell the sarcasm in that whole statement honestly... What do you want your smart and
handsome husband-to-be-Xavier to do for you.
"I want you to be serious right now okay..."
He chuckles. "Okay fine. What is it baby?"
"Your sis came early."-I state.
"Then that means whatever chased her out of University this time around was drastic."-him..
"She bought a male friend Xavier named Josh."-I say and look at them walk down the stairs.
"Ini ?! (what?!)''-I didn't teach him that.
"Yep they're now seated in your lounge... putting their feet on the coffee table and now they're
changing the television channel I was watching."-I narrate and hear him growl.
"That scumb-... woman put me on loudspeaker. Now!"-he says.
Hmmm...
"You're on loudspeaker."-I say.
I hear those two laugh as they continued to watch whatever they were watching. They've seemed to
make themselves at home pretty fast.
"Take me to them woman!"-he says.
"Okay okay keep your pants on."-I say manouvering to the lounge as I was told to. "We're here."-me.
These two lovers look at me.
"Good."-he says calmly before I hear him shout. "Get you feet off my table!"-they do. Mhnnn.
"What are you doing in my house Joshua? Who gave you permission to come and stay in my house?"
"Uhmm...Sir...Mr King...it wa-..."

"Stop stuttering."-Xavier.
Lol.
"It was Liv."-Josh.
"Liv!"-Xavier.
"Can you just chill please bro it's not like I brought an animal here with me."-Olivia says.
Sheesh...
"Well you know what last time you did and I wasn't very pleased about that. Now you bring another
unemployed animal into my house..."-my man.
"Xavier no..."-Even I feel like I should get involved but then I decide against it.
"Bro please..."-Olivia.
"Who's feeding him? Me?"-he chuckles and they keep quiet.
"Sir... I'll try getting a j...ob."
"What was that pipsqueak?"-Xavier
"He says he'll try and get a job bro gosh do you have to be so hard on him."
"Yes Olivia. I have to. You're going to be in my hair for a long time I can sense so my dearest sister make
sure that rat of yours does get a job. I'll be expecting a weekly contribution for the groceries from him."-
Xavier.
Double sheesh!
"But bro!"
"Bye Olivia."-he hangs up immediately after saying that. I feel like laughing but then I don't think these
two would appreciate that. There's a knock on the door.
My seafood. So much for trying to pass it off as my own cooking...

SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
28
Chapter 28
It's 18h44 when Xavier walks back into the house after a whole day of work. This man honestly looks
amazing in a suit and tight chinos. "Come hug me woman."-he states while loosening his tie.
"No you come hug me."-I say and hold my arms out ready for my hug.
"You are so lazy when you want to be lazy you know that."-he says putting his laptop bag on the couch
now standing in front of me.
"Me? Lazy? Never. Now help me up so I can hug you."-I say and he shakes his head and helps me up. We
share a hug before he pecks my forehead still holding me close.
"Where are those two rats?"-he asks.
"One of those rats is your sister."
"Still doesn't change anything."-he says shrugging.
"Well your rats are upstairs eating the seafood I bought earlier."-I say. He lets me go and I finish
loosening his tie.
"You bought seafood?"
"Yes I bought seafood."
"Mhnnn...okay."-he says and looks down at me smirking.
"And then? Why are you smirking?"
"I'm just thinking.''
"Thinking about what?"-I ask and he licks his bottom lip. "Xavier."
"Mami you know what I'm thinking..."-oh my gosh!

"Xavier we have rats in the house."-me.
"Whose house? Our house right? We can just send those rats to a hotel and..."
"No. Ew."-I say giggling. "We shouldn't."-I place my fingers on his chin.
"We should..."
"Xavier...no"-his hands invade my backside.
"Azania yes..."
"I...like your beard"-I try changing the mood of this lounge.
"You like your husband-to-be's beard?"-him. I nod.
"Yes."-its working.
"I like your deep voice."-him.
"What the heck I don't have a deep voice."-me.
"You do actually..."
"Mxm."-me. I think I've done enough talking with this guy for now. He chuckles and pecks my forehead
again.
"I'll get you one of these days."-him.

"You can try"-I remove his hands from my butt and bite on the insides of my cheeks.
What exactly are the gods of hoeville doing to me?!
"Liv come down here! Bring that rat of yours with you too!"-Xavier yells as I was walking to the kitchen
for some water. I quickly glace back when they both arrive downstairs in record time.
I'm eavesdropping again.
"I see you got more tats sis."-Xavier says.
"You know what I always say if it's art then it should last."-Her.
Huh?
"And like I always say that's stupid."
"Whatevs."-Olivia says and I could sense some eye rolling accompanying that statement.
"Don't whatevs me Young lady you're still in my house. Don't forget that."-Xavier says.
"Bro please. I get it jeez"-Olivia.
I watch him as he runs a hand through his hair before looking at Joshua.
"You've been awfully quiet pipsqueak...why aren't you greeting the man of the house with respect?"-
Xavier.
Sheesh!
I nearly choke on my water. "Albie!"-Olivia.
"Albie me one more time and I'll tell Mom you're here. Which brings me to my next... let's say question.
Why are you in not at Uni?"-Xavier asks.
They're both quiet.

"Should I repeat myself?"
"No Mr King sir I'll explain to you."-Joshua finally speaks.
"Shhhh...you don't get to speak. You didn't greet me."
I put my empty glass on the counter and head to them. I thought he was just like this on the phone only
kanti no.
"Talk Liv."
"Fine. We didn't write our exams so we failed our module."
"What!"-Xavier. "Why the hell not?"
"I was like suffering bro and ain't it obvious Uni ain't my thing?"-she says.
"Uni ain't your thing? What is your thing then exactly?"-I interfere. This I had to hear. The seriousness on
Xavier's face though!
"Singing."
"So what you're telling me here exactly is that you quit education for singing? Not to say that that was a
stupid decision but this I seriously have to see with my own eyes."-My man says and claps once.
"Xavier I actually admire her courage... I mean not many people would leave good quality education for
a dream they're not even sure if it's going to succeed."-me.
"Liv what exactly is your plan here?"
"Well Josh over here is a really good rapper so I figured we'd be a team ya (you) feel me?"
"No..."-he lightly shakes his head "... I don't feel ya."
"Bro listen okay all we need is some funds and boom! An album."-Liv says causing Xavier to snort.
"I told you we're doomed baby. Whatever you two do make sure that by Saturday I have my grocery bag
contribution...Okay?"-Xavier.
Silence.
"Let's go my boo bear."-he takes my hand.
"Boo bear?"-we walk past these two.
"Yes my sugarlump"
"Okay enough."-me. I blush.
"But I just started my flawless pearl."-him. We're almost at the top of the stairs by now.
"Oh my gosh Xavier! Stop!"-I utter still a blushing mess.
--------------------------------------------------------
"Azania... now I want us to dwell a little on your past can we do that?"-Nkateko asks me. I turn and look
at her before nodding. This is my 3rd session with her and maybe... Just maybe we'll get somewhere.
I only have 3 more weeks to go before I could pop and honestly I was impatient. I wanted my body back.
It's also been like what? A whole month with those two ambitious people in our space. It hasn't all been
bad actually especially since Josh did manage to get a simple job. Turns out Xavier was seriously serious
about the whole him wanting a weekly contribution to our groceries in order for him to eat. Poor guy
literally starved the first few days but because I was a kind bitch I snuck him something to eat.
Xavier's mom went nuts when she heard that Olivia dropped out of University without telling her. I'd
also be angry if I spent all my hard earned money on something that would just end up in dust.
Rendani and I have been keeping contact with each other and she seemingly was still going strong with
the finishing of her studies.
Suzanné on the other hand invited me over to her place for some lunch and I couldn't decline. Xavier will
be fetching me after this whole session.
"What do you want to know?"-me.
"Anything you feel comfortable telling me."-Nkateko says.
I sigh. There aren't any great bits in this part of my life but if this means that I'll heal and find myself then
cool. I'll talk.
"Well... Victor my father used to touch me from a young age. I became his prey from the age of 7. My
mother lost my baby sister via rape from the same man and then later she took her own life."-I sound so
rehearsed honestly.
"And how did this affect you?"-her.
Well duh!
"I...was devastated. I don't even think I had the time to cry for her because my father was on me
seconds later."
"Azania is that how you really felt?"
I look away suddenly feeling like she's asking too much now.
"I'm here to help you Azania I'm not here to question your life decisions."
I heave out a sigh again and look back at her. "To be honest with you...I was livid. I hated her for the
man she chose to bring into my life. I hated her for not even being able to protect me or my little sister
from harm. I hated her for telling me not to tell anyone when he started hitting her like crazy. I hated
her for taking her own life and leaving me behind. I hated her for everything."-I say and wipe away the
uninvited tears that tickled their way down my cheeks.
"Here."-she offers me some of tissues which I take gladly.
"I think the years after she killed herself I stopped caring...I couldn't even make friends for the period I
spent at school."-I wipe my tears away again.
"You know what I personally think you're a strong woman."

"Strong? No. I wouldn't be here if I was strong."-me.
"I know a few people who should be going to therapy for help but don't because they're afraid. I know
of patients that have ended their lives because they couldn't continue living in pain."-her.
Just like my mom.
"Do you want to continue?"-her. I nod. She writes down something on her notepad.
"Okay. How was a normal day for you when you were... Let's say 9 I'm sure you can remember a little."
I've stopped crying by now.
"At times I'd wake up in his hold. Sometimes I'd wake up still in pain from the drunk painful beatings
he'd give me. My mother would bring me water for me to wash her husband's sins away. After that I'd
go to school and hope and pray that I don't get beaten when I get home. Victor used to call it discipline."
"Were you aware of all the sexual acts he was doing?"-she asks.
"Not until I got to grade 5...I was 11 years old I think. I remember one of my teachers calling me aside
and asking me if I was okay. The next thing that happened was that I vomited right in front of her..."-I
pause as a thought crossed my mind. I did the exact thing to Zama that night we snuck out...but anyway.
"...I remember telling her that I only had a terrible tummy ache. When I got home I got the beating and
the shouting of my life. He Victor asked me why I had become so damn careless I wasn't supposed to fall
pregnant apparently."-I narrate.
That was my first abortion.
"Okay. I'll tell you one thing and one thing only and not because I'm siding with anyone or anything but
only because I think that's what's best for you right now. Forgive your parents."
"What?"-me.
"Hear me out Azania. I understand that these two humans were supposed to grant you a beautiful
childhood and not one that would haunt you for the rest of your life. In order for you to continue your
life in a peaceful manner you have to forgive."-she says.
"And if I can't?"-I ask. I genuinely don't think I'd ever forgive those two for what they did to me.
"Then you should know by now that these session won't get you anywhere. I'm only here to help you
and there are only a few definite things I can help you with."-her. "I think it's best you start with your
mother."
"Fine I forgive her."-I say shrugging but she doesn't look the slightest convinced with my statement.
"Mean it Azania."-her.
I can't honestly.
I can't even call her my hero even if I wanted to. I'd be violating my own vocab.
"I suggest you go home and do the following. Write down all the good things your mother has done for
you... Write down all the bad things she's ever done to you or the ones where you feel is where she let
you down. The last thing you are going to write down are the things you wish she did do for you."-she
says. "You'll bring that piece of paper here for our next session okay?"
I nod and get up after saying my goodbyes.
I found Xavier waiting at the parking lot texting away on his phone which he quickly puts away when I
get in.
"Babe."-him.
"Can we make a quick stop at chicken licken I'm craving some hot wings."-I say and peck his cheek. He
starts the car and drives out of here.
"How was your session today?"

"The usual...more shit had to be spilled today."
"See it's much better right now. Soon I'll have my Azi back."-he says and puts his hand on my thigh. He's
saying it as if I actually left...or maybe I have. I remember that in one of the sessions I had with Nkateko
she told me that most people -like myself- like pretending as if nothing happened.
They suppress their pain.
These are also the people who end up hurting themselves... apparently.
---
I step out of the quick shower I just took and dry my body only to hear my phone ringing from the
bedroom.
"It's...Rendz!"-Xavier yells.
"Answer it!"-me.
Trust.
When I feel nice and dry I step out with a towel wrapped around my body. Seems like the phonecall
ended a whole while ago.
"What did she say?"-me.
"Nothing much I step out with a towel wrapped around my body. Seems like the phonecall ended a
whole while ago.
"What did she say?"-me.
"Nothing much but she was so eager for the two of you to meet today to which I told her you're already
having lunch with us.''-he says and I nod before I start applying some lotion on my upper body.
"Can you lotion my legs?"-I'm too lazy to bend.
"Like I always do? Come sit here."-him. I basically skip to him sit on the bed and hand him the lotion. He
gets on his knee and starts lotioning my right leg.
"What's with the outfit?"
It was placed neatly on the bed ironed and clean.
"Can't a man pick out something for his queen to wear?"-him.

"My King surely can... It's just odd."
"Odd? Don't think too much about it."-him. He starts lotioning my other leg.
I dressed in the clothes. A knee high royal blue maternity dress with white Chuck Taylor's. He wore the
same shoe with a royal blue t-shirt and white shorts which he wore because he wanted to showcase his
legs too apparently. I just gave him a look. "No one wants to see your hairy legs Xavier."-me.
"Oh so today they're hairy?"
"Yes they are infact they've always been hairy. Do you know how much they tickle when were in bed?"-
me. He snorts.
"Well no I don't but I'm not shaving my legs for you."-he says.
"I didn't say you have to shave anything but then this also means I don't have to shave my pits and nuna
I'll even stop shaving my legs."
"Tell me you're kidding."-him.
"We'll be even besides I'll be an el-natural-ay lady now won't I?"-me.
"We'll talk about this when we come back. "-he says and leaves the room to go start the car. I probably
have enough time to finish off my make up...or not. I don't even feel like finishing off this simple look
properly especially since we're meeting people I already know. My weave looks okay though so I leave
the bedroom with my tiny clutchbag and phone.
"Where's Olivia and Joshua?"-I ask when I find him on his phone downstairs. The stairs are work these
days.
"They're already at Anne's place. Let's go."-him.
This must be a serious thing than I guess. We make our way to the car after Xavier locks up. Minutes
later we park in front of Suzanné's place. I figured that we must be very late since there are already a lot
of cars here. Must be a huge lunch.
Xavier parks next to his mom's
Car and switches off the engine.
"Stay."-he says before getting out and close his door. I watch him walk all the way around to my side and
open the door. "Come."
"You wanted me to stay in here just so you could open my door for me?"
"Let's not argue about this just come"-him.
"Who said anything about me wanting to argue?"-me. I give him my hand and he helps me out.
"Let's not argue about that statement either. I just want to feed my hopefully hungry wife-to-be."-he
closes my door and allows me to hook my arm around his before we started our way towards the
entrance
"I ate 3 hot wings not so long ago I think I'm still full."-me.
"Who are you trying to fool?"-him.
I chuckle while he opened the door.
It's quiet.
"Anyway did I tell you about the new painting I put on my page?"
"This one I have to see."-he says before I come to a halt a few steps away from the door. "I wonder
where everyone could be."
"Uhmm..."-me. I look around. "Maybe we're at the wrong house"-I shrug.
"Nonsense. Anne! Mom! Guys!"-Xavier yells and I hear a loud bang which makes me run behind my man
faster than Caster. I hear laughs and a loud rehearsed "SURPRISE!!!!"
What the heck is going on here!

I peek past Xavier's shoulder and notice everyone standing there with smiles on their faces balloons in
their hands and some of them held those confetti thingies.
Oh my word!
Why is Xavier laughing at me!
"Baby come on calm down that wasn't a gun."-he says and I punch him hard on the shoulder. How dare
he laugh at me when I could've peed on myself by just that mere scare. The nerve of this man! And his
family! And the unfamiliar faces I'm faced with right now.
Again I ask what the heck is going on here.
"Don't you dare tell me to calm down Xavier."-I point at him out of anger. His smile quickly fades away
and it's quiet all around. Oh yes it better be.
"Baby this is just a surpr-..."

"A what?! A surprise? Kahle-kahle (actually) Who said I wanted a flippen surprise?"-me.
Okay that was stupid because who ever plans their own surprise... surprise what exactly?
I look around.
'baby boy!'
'its a boy!'
'a new family member loading...'- I read some of the balloons I saw being held up. Oh my word it's
surprise baby shower isn't it?
That alone makes everything worse. What's wrong with this man honestly for him to think this was a
smart idea.
I turn back to look at him.

"I need some air."-I walk out of here with him following shortly behind me.
"Spencer wait!"-him.
I halt already tired from the fast walking I've been doing. Damnit!
"What! What whsehranmagzine.comat!!"-me.
"Woah woman calm down."
"I see you didn't think this through right."
"Azania keep it down."
"Go to hell."-me.
Sheesh! Did I just say that?
"Oh? You want me to go to hell Azania? Just know if I'm going there then baby girl you're following
me."-him.
"A baby shower Xavier really? You want me to rejoice because of this stupid thing you obviously had a
hand in?"-me.
"It's not stupid Azania. I'm only thinking of the positive things here which include this beautiful thing you
have in you. It should've been mine goddamnit."
"But... but it's not Xavier. You know I'm giving him up for adoption as soon as I give birth."-me.
"And what if I want to adopt him and raise him as my own? Does that mean you'll distance yourself from
the life you've been carrying for so long?"
Don't tell me he's even considering that...he better not.
He turns and leaves.
"Xav-..."
"You'll find me inside. "-he says without looking back. I felt awkward now. Did I just ruin everybody's
mood in there because of my stupid reaction?
They all probably think the worst of me right now. Even those who had no clue of what I've gone
through are questioning things right now I'm sure.
I heave out a sigh and gather all my strength before making my way back into the house. It's dull in here
now. They all look up at me anxious for an explanation I'm sure. I on the other hand am lost for words.
How am I going to explain this?
I look to Xavier who shrugs and I instantly knew he wasn't going to help me out of this.
"Uhmm... it's... It's a boy."-I say and bite on the insides of my cheeks. They don't say anything "Okay I'm
sorry for how I reacted to all of this... it's just that I've grown to hate surprises."
"Well then Albert should've told us that don't you think."-Xavier's mother asks and a couple of laughs
came through.
Good.
"Well Mom... You'll forgive me I thought she was joking."-he says and comes to stand next to me.
"So is this baby shower continuing or not? I want to get my hands on that free steak I saw in the
kitchen."-Olivia says.
"Emphasis on free."-Xavier says and a few of us -including myself- laugh.
These two.
The baby shower continues off with me being showered with gifts I had to guess where they came from.
May I say they were shit expensive looking too. It's ridiculous actually but also super cute. My heart
would just melt when I'd see a tiny romper. I instantly thought of what Xavier said about wanting to
adopt him and figured if that's what will make him happy than...
Sigh.
I shift in my couch trying to get rid of these Braxton Hicks I'm feeling right now. I end up getting on my
feet and ask for the loo.
Upon my return they're all getting a plate and get ready to dish up some food.
"Come sit on my lap."-Xavier.
I give him a raised eyebrow.
"Xavier don't be ridiculous we have enough chairs in this house."-Suzanné says.
"And? This is my future wife sis and that simply means I'm entitled to have her sit on my lap whenever
and wherever I want."-he says.
"Ooouuu he told you there."-Olivia.
"Argh shut up Liv."-Suzanné.
"You can't tell me what to do."-Olivia.
"I can. I'm older than you."-Suzanné says and this had me wondering how the heck life would've been if
my little sister was still alive.
Would we be fighting about something stupid like these two currently are doing now?
Would we be the best of friends ever to exist in this world?
Would she share her dreams and ambitions with me on the regular?
I don't even remember her voice...
---
It's a 'full' car as we headed back to our little heaven. I've requested an additional bathroom stop before
we could actually get back on the road again.
After effects of juice.
"Sooo... Xavier... What would you do if I told you I'm pregnant? Would I also like get a baby shower?"-
Olivia asks peaking between our two seats.
"Are you mad?"-Xavier.
"No but I'm just curious..."
"Curious my left ass cheek you better stop opening those two skinny legs for your rat over there."-Xavier
says still looking ahead.
"Bro really?"-Olivia.
"You shouldn't even know what dick looks like Liv."-Xavier says and I choke on my spit.
I look at him just as my phone vibrates from inside my hand bag. Mzuzu (That time) Olivia is a full grown
21 year old.
"You know what nevermind. You've proved to still be an asshole."-Olivia.
I take my phone out and notice the WhatsApp message that came through from an unsaved number
with no profile picture whatsoever. I open the message and read.
"Baby you okay?"-Xavier.
"Uhmm...can we stop here for a second."-I request and seconds later we're stationary on the side of the
road. Panicked I look around to see if I could spot anything out of the ordinary.
Nothing...
"Azania."-I look at him. I can also feel the eyes of our two other passengers on me. I give my phone to
him and again -like a maniac- I search around the car.
Still nothing...
How the heck did this man know I had a baby shower not so long ago and I go cold at the thought of him
wanting to attend and give invader a gift...
Zimu...
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
29
Chapter 29
I'm literally still shaking when we get home. Olivia brings me a glass of water which I have no intentions
of drinking but I thank her for her kind gesture and she puts the glass on the coffee table before sitting
down next to me. I knew she wanted to know what the heck was going on but I knew I would not talk. I
doubt I'd be able to even make sense of my words now especially since I had no clue who was
tormenting me now.
"No! Can you fucking trace it or not!?"-Xavier demands over the phone. I have no idea who he's calling
and my curiosity is killing me... And so was this urge to pee - again.
I get up and rush upstairs to the bathroom and just sit on the seat. Nothing was coming out and I
blamed my stress.
After rinsing my hands I head back downstairs. Xavier is still on the phone. Josh however has left the
room. Olivia is just sitting and probably thinking of what was happening right now.
"Okay. Fine."-he says and hangs up sighing frustratedly. I look at him and know instantly that he was also
not okay with this.
"I'll... Give you two some space."-Olivia said and headed to the kitchen.
"Who were you calling?"-I ask and sit down on the couch. He occupies the space next to me seconds
later and pulls me closer to him.
"Your old boss."
"Wait who? Ghana?"-me.
He tenses up. "Let's never mention that name unless he's announced dead."
I nod. I was starting to feel like ever since he strangled me he may not be one of the best people on this
Earth. And in Xavier's books he was an enemy he's only encountered once or twice. "I called Nqoba."
"Nqobazonke Zwane...as in..."
"Yes Azania."-he cuts off my thought.
"Where did you get his numbers?"-I ask.
"Confronted him plenty of times when you went to Dubai."-he says and let's me go to check on a phone
that vibrated just now. It's his. I see how quickly he turned from being casual to down right pissed.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"-he curses and gets up nearly smashing his phone on the wall.
"This fucker is smart!"-him.
"What's going on? Who's smart?'-me.
"The fucker who sent you this text... I sent the number to Nqoba and he spoke to some Tsiietsi guy and
long story short it may take a while before we can know exactly who sent this message because it's from
a destroyed Sim."-he says and runs his hand across his face.
"But...but he will find out right?"-oh he better.
If I had to kill Tiger twice then I honestly would.
"He will. He gave me his word and he claims to have never let anyone down so... But for now I'm hiring
security to guard this place 24/7 until then. I'm also installing some cam-..."
"Woah woah woah what? Cameras? Here?"-Olivia asks as she halt her journey upstairs two cups of
coffee in her hands.
"I thought you said you were giving us some space."-me.
"I did and now I'm wondering what else is going to be invading our privacy."-Olivia.
"This is still my house Liv which means you don't have a say in this whatsoever. Now as you were."-
Xavier.
She rolls her eyes and continues off.
I am not about to fight him and his wishes to have me feel protected. I actually appreciate it.
"Thank you baby... This means a lot to me."-I say and he nods.
"Your safety matters to me babe... Now let me go make some calls."-I nod and he walks off heading
upstairs.
I'm left alone to think of my life choices again.
It's 00:30 and practically everybody is sleeping peacefully in their beds. I'm still up compiling what
Nkateko asked me to compile.
With my pen at hand I wrote what she asked me to.

The good things she -my mother- has done for me:
Nothing... Okay I'm sure it can't just be nothing.
She has... I sigh.
Well...she gave birth to me but was that even a good thing?
No...yes.
Argh. This is frustrating honestly since I'm lost in confusion. If I can't even find one good thing my
mother has done for me then I'm useless in a sense of this therapy thing.
I should probably do this in the morning with a clear and open mind. I shake my head looking at the
sketch I drew with the pen on the piece of paper that was supposed to be used for the good deeds of
this woman... I instead drew her.
Well atleast my vague memory of her...
---------------------------------------------------------
I'm woken up by a light non ignorable pain that soon fades completely. Gosh when is this ending?
I pat on his side and remember that Xavier has already left to go to work.
I remember him kissing me goodbye and saying something too but I can't remember what it was
because I was sleepy.
I'm pretty sure the other two left as well which means as usual I was home alone. I get out of bed
stretch and quickly make the bed before going to the bathroom. These twinges we're back again and like
always I felt as if a bath made me feel better.
The bathtub filled with water as I brushed my teeth. My phone rang from the bedroom and I half rushed
to get it.
Kanti...it's 10h25!
I thought it was super early.
It's Xavier.
"Husband."-me.
"Well isn't it automatically an awesome morning? Hey wife. You awake yet?"-he asks.
"Yeah woke up about 10 minutes ago and now I'm filling up the bathtub. Those twinges are back and
they're not comfortable at all."-I say and walk back to the bathroom to turn the water off.
"You sure you're fine?"
"Yeah I'm okay baby. It's only uncomfortable like I said."-me.
"Okay cool. You call me if you don't fe-..."
"Xavier I know. You're even on speed dial."-I joke.

"You're kidding right? Anyway the guards are already outside doing the most. You have nothing to worry
about. I'm still searching for a good camera company that won't be too damn expensive."
"That's a first."
"What is?"
"You saying that you don't want something to be too expensive. It even sounds odd honestly but
anyway aren't you supposed to be like busy or something?"
He chuckles. "Are you trying to chase me away woman?
"Yes actually. I need to bath."-I say.
"I have a meeting in an hour but I'll go. I got the message. I love you."
"I looooovvvveeee you too... actually we love you. But I love you more."-I say and earn a strong kick
from invader. This kid. Maybe he won't be as bad you know. I hang up and go to the bathroom again.
Luckily my water is still hot. I quickly strip of my clothes and get in allowing the water to surround me in
it's warmth. Okay... I still didn't feel as normal but I did feel better. When the water finally became cold I
got out and dried my body before heading out to lotion and get dressed in something light. I headed
downstairs with more paper stacks and placed them on the lounge table before going to the kitchen to
make myself a bowl of cereal. There's a note on the microwave and it says that there's some breakfast in
there.
Toast egg sausage bacon and beans which I'll totally be removing.
Yes I eat both of my breakfast servings and then rinse my dishes.
After settling down on a chair in the lounge I got started on Nkateko's silly request. I sigh and grab a pen
and yesterday's sketch.
"What good did you do for me Mama?"-I ask the picture. It obviously didn't answer me so I placed it
back where I found it. It was just an energy draining thing to see honestly. "Come on Azania there must
be something good she has done for you..."
Okay maybe giving birth to me was a good thing.
I write it down.
What else...?
The good:
*She loved me up until... Surely before the rape.

*She tried defending and protecting me.
*She took me to church 4 times.
Yes 4 times. I chuckle.
*She used to make me custard and malva pudding on Saturdays when Victor would be gone for work.
*She gave me her looks
...and thank goodness I don't have any of Victor's features!
That's it. I can't think of any more really.
And now the bad.

*She made me lie to people.
*She defended her husband at times.
*She'd allow Victor to hit me.
*She...
Oh my word
Sehranmagzine.com
that light pain I felt when I woke up came back. Damn.
I sit and write some more garbage of what I think could be a little relevant for about two hours. I hope I
wrote enough things though to have her satisfied.
These light pains were getting persistent now but according to my research they were still a little
irregular and far apart to be serious.
What the heck am I saying?
I decide on calling Xavier but he didn't answer and I remembered that he mentioned the fact that he
was going to a meeting. I curse and slowly make my way upstairs again to pee. I tried calling Xavier again
but the call once again rang unanswered.
Great... Just great.
As I reached the top of the stairs I felt water streaming down my legs.
Did I just pee myself?!
Shit!
Wait!
Did my water just break?
"Holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck!"-I repeated retreating to the bedroom. I swear I dial Xavier one
more time and his stupid ass finally answers.
"Babe I'm still-..."
"My water just fucken br-..."-my words get cut off by a mother of all contractions that ended soon
enough.
"Azania are you okay?!"-him.
"Are you stupid! My water broke! Get your ass here fast!"-I half yell as another contraction took it's way
almost numbing my whole body. I start panicking.
He's early!
"I'm on my way. Don't push. Call Dr Hendricks."-he says and his second statement makes me wonder if
I'll be able to do that. I already want to push. I hang up and search for Dr Hendricks' number. I find it and
dial it. He answers on the second ring. "Mrs King ho-..."
"My water just broke!"

"Where are you now?"
"I'm at home alone...and I'm upstairs... I-..."-another contraction takes over my body and I hold in my
yell.
Oh Zimu!
"I'm on my way with an ambulance!"-he says and I manage to put him on loudspeaker before throwing
the phone on the bed. I can't move from my position any longer. Not only am I feeling beyond hot and
panicked but I'm feeling pressure to push. I remove the dress I'm wearing and everything else before I
look down.
Blood everywhere.
"Oh my God..."-I put a hand between my legs and feel something... Invaders' head? Oh my fuck! This
was really happening!
"Are you still okay?"-Dr Hendricks asks.

"No I'm not okay!"-Me.
"Whatever you do do not push... We're almost th-..."-him.
I shake my head.
"I'm not waiting another 20 minutes for you guys to get here! I'm fucking pushing!"-that's not me
talking. Dr Hendricks says something which I completely ignore as I grab a pillow and throw it to the
ground. I do the same with a towel that I pull from the bed.
I'm on my knees hands on the edge of the bed teeth gritted as I give the first push of my life.
This is kak!
After a few breathtaking pushes I feel instant relief. Oh my word! I look down and panic all over again.
Isn't he supposed to be crying? Oh my word he's so pale! I look at the time on the wall clock before I
reach down and take him into my hold.
13h15.
I didn't care about getting my hands dirty at this moment instead I wanted to make sure my pale man
was okay.
"Mrs King! What's going on? Are you okay?"-Dr Hendricks. I even forgot I was on call.
I was about to answer when my little man let out a cry and I shook with joy and sudden eternal love. We
were still connected by our umbilical cord.
"We're fine Dr Hendricks!"-I beam.
"I'm glad. We're a minute away. Robin write down the time of birth 13h14. BBA (born before medical
assistance). 15 December 2014."-him.
I hear footsteps coming towards the entrance of the bedroom and when I looked up it was Xavier.
He had a shocked facial expression and shortly after it turned into a smile. I on the other hand tried
getting invader to stop crying.
"Is that...him?"-I hear the sirens from outside.
"Duh...come here."-me. "oh and bring me a blanket."

He quickly grabs one of the blankets we got from the baby shower and rushes to us. He kneels down and
I wrap him up with the blanket.
The house is soon filled with paramedics and an eager Dr Hendricks. I'm helped up and helped into a
Johnny before we're taken to the ambulance car. Before we even climbed down the stairs I looked at my
little invader and smiled.
There was no way in hell I was ever letting go of him.
He opened his eyes and... What the heck? So...sheesh.
"Xavier."-he turns to look back at us before he could walk out with the newly packed baby bag in his
hold. By now some of the attention had turned to me while some minded their own business. "He's...
he's yours."
---
I wake up after taking a well deserved nap. Xavier is not in here. I think he's still out after what he saw.
He fainted when I had to delivered the placenta in the back of the ambulance car. Now I was cleaned up
stitched and my baby was taken away for his first ever check up.
The door opened as I was busy sitting up on my bed. "Look at that... Mommy is awake"-Xavier says
walking in holding invader steadily. A nurse is following him. "Hey."-him.
"Hey...you okay? Especially after the whole fainting thing."-me.
"I... didn't faint."-he says quickly. "Nurse Wendy said it's time to feed out little man over here."
"Oh?"-Xavier hands him to me and the nurse shows me how to hold him properly when I'd be
breastfeeding him. She told me everything I needed to do and what not to do. Apparently I'll learn more
on my own and I'll only leave this place when they see if he can poop properly.
"I'll leave you guys to it then. Do call me if you need anything."-she says and soon enough it's just the
three of us. I gaze down at my invader and feel how my heart just melts all over again. How did I think
I'd be able to give away my precious soul just like that? What was I thinking? He sucked hungrily on my
breast while looking at me with his blue eyes.
"I can't believe this actually."-Xavier says causing me to look at him.
"Can't believe what?"-I ask.
"This. Everything actually is making me so overwhelmed. The doctor said he is as healthy as can be."
"I'm glad he is."-I take his tiny hand into my own and gently brush on the knuckles. He was just perfect.
Actually beyond perfect. "I'm also thinking that someone has been lying to you for 10 years."-me.
He heaves out the heaviest sigh ever shutting his eyes.
"I hate how much I believed that witch. She gave me papers that made me believe that she was being
truthful to me. She lied to me. She had me depressed for weeks unend only now to see that she's been
lying to me."-he says and wipes away an uninvited tear that rolls down his cheek.
"Don't beat yourself up because of this. Please. It's in the past now and I hope she regrets ever doing
that to you. She has no idea how much of a great man she let go of. "-I say and give him a small smile.
"So...you think I'm great?"-he smirks. Oh wow he has started with his stupidity.
"Why are you ruining this moment? You know you're great."-he pecks my cheeks.
"You still considering the adoption th-..."
"Noooo... Not after what I went through. Can we just blame that on the hormones? I'm never giving
my... Our baby away."-me. This was me being genuine. I'd die if they took our son away.
I wanted to be way better than my mom to at this mom thing. I want to give my son the best. I want to
give my son love and the best life possible.
"Our baby..."
"Yes. Our baby."-me.

"Our baby needs a name."
"Our baby does."-I say just as a phone rings away. It's Xavier's. I think I left mine at home.
"It's my mom."-he says before answering and putting her on loudspeaker. "Mommy."
"Oh thank the Almighty Lord! Where are you and Azania Xavier? Olivia called me about a minute ago in
distress telling me that there's blood everywhere! Are the two of you okay? Gosh speak to me Xavier!"-
his mother speaks unend. I chuckle lightly while shaking my head.
I even forgot about that.
"Mommy calm down please... The three of us are okay."
"Let me speak to Azania then."-her.
Sheesh!
"Ma'am I'm fine."-me.

"Azania call me mom please."-she says and invader moves from my boob. Is he full?
"Let me burp him."-Xavier.
"Okay... Okay Mom I'm fine. We're fine."-I give him invader.
"Oh thank the Lord! Where are you guys. I'm coming right over to see you my children."-her.
Wow isn't she getting the hint or am I not giving away enough hints?
"Mommy we're in hospital. What we've been trying to tell you is that Azania gave birth today."-Xavier
says and I hear screams on the other end of the line. That can't be her. "What the flying car Suzanné?"
"Ah! I'm an aunt! We're all coming."-I hear invader burp for the first time. Oh my word it's so cute!
"Mhnnn please bring Azania some clothes from our pl-..."
"I will I will! Ah! Mother let's go. Xavier send us your location!"-well wow this is real excitement at it's
best. Xavier hangs up after instructing Suzanné on where to find my proper clothing.
Xavier handed me invader again. "Come join me"-I request already scooting over. I lift my head up
slightly and allow him to put his arm there. I lay on it. "You good?"
"Always."-him.
"Looks like he's falling asleep."
"Looks like it... But I know he'll wake up as soon as my family gets here. So what he's doing is good."
I giggle. This was somehow very perfect to me. This whole setup had me considering a joyful future and
not a devastating one.
"We still need a name."-me.
"Yup I feel like you've been secretly calling our son invader."
"Is not..."-I chuckle but I know he doesn't believe me. I don't even believe myself. "Okay maybe I have. I
just don't have the guts to call him an it or something you'd call an object."
"True. Okay how about Albert Junior King?"-him.
"Are you sick in the head? We're not about to give our son that Grandpa name. I'm sorry babe."
"That's a beautiful name babe."
"One beautiful name I'm never giving out baby."-me.
"Okay how about Thomas?"
"No."
"Spencer?"
"Are you joking right now?"-me.
"Whsehranmagzine.comat? I thought you loved Spencer."
"Only as a playful name not one I'm giving my baby."-me. He sighs.
"Fine. Morgan?"
"No"
"Logan?"-him.
"I actually like that one. Now it's my turn. Trent?"
"Nope..."-he laughs. "... Feels good being on this side of the fence."
"Michael?"
"Nope."
"Desire?"
"Wait what? Like our Desire Logan King?"-him.
"Mxm okay fine. Xander you think this is-..."

"Perfect..."-he cuts me off. "...Xander Logan King what do you think?"
I look at my baby and then to him. The first time I met him I called him Xander instead of Xavier and now
Invader is taking it... I'm going to cry at the thought.
"I love it. So it's official?"-me.
"Yeah I think so...Xander Logan King."
Nurse Wendy came to check up on us... Well actually she came to check out if Xander has made his first
boo-boo already to which he hasn't. We gave her the name we thought of and she went to get us the
paperwork.
Right there and then a whole bunch of Kings walked in. Actually they rushed in. Gift baskets at hand.
"Oh my goodness... it's real!"-Suzanné exclaims. "What's with the security?"-her. She bought her
husband and her son today. He's older than I thought he would be actually.
"Long story... Just know that it's for our protection."-Xavier.
"I can't believe this. You like gave birth to a human and stuff...y'all's had me panicking."-Olivia says. I
don't see Josh which could mean he's still working.
Xander awakens and cries.
"Ncoooh."-Xavier's mom. She's by our side in seconds. "Try feeding him."
"Again?"-me.
"Yes again if he doesn't take it then that means he wants something else. Something you should figure
out."-she says.
"Well So that means Azania needs to speak baby now?"-Olivia.
"Are you dumb?"-Suzanné.
"Maybe. I'm just curious I've never had a baby before."-her.
"You and I both...it actually feels so surreal. It's one thing to have a baby in your belly..."-I position him
for another feeding session. "...and another to have a baby in your hands."
"True."-Suzanné agrees. Xander actually starts feeding enthusiastically like someone showed him how to
do that.
"He really is a King look at the eyes."-Suzanné says and that instantly becomes the next topic. Photos get
taken and a few laughs go around in this room. So much love. It's something I'm not used to but
something I can get used to right?
Suzanné pours us all some juice in wine glasses that were in the gift basket. "Well this is to the new
addition to the family."-her. I raise my glass. They all do the same.
"To my boy!"-Xavier.
"To Xander Logan King!"-me.
"To sleepless nights!"-Xavier's mom adds and it's taken as a joke.
Sheesh I'm so not ready for that...
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
30
Chapter 30
"The crib is set up."-Xavier said walking into our bedroom. I had just sat down after the whole cleaning
fest I had to do in this room.
I did that very quickly too because I wanted to be with my baby once again. I just didn't want him out of
my sight for long and that is normal right?
"Come sit here."-I pat on the space next to me. He smiles and comes instantly sitting on the space I
patted not so long ago.
We left the hospital after I had to spend the night there. The nurses just kept on asking me if my baby
has done his thing almost every hour and it got a little annoying to the point where when he eventually
made a boo-boo I was ecstatic. The Kings drove with us until we got here and then they had to leave
because Xavier asked them to give us some space. He also called in at work and they had given him the
whole week off. That's not a lot but it was longer than the actual leave days that can be provided.
For minutes we sat and stared at Logan who was feeding. You'd swear we're crazy but we were actually
super crazy.
"He's going to think we're weird."-Xavier says with a chuckle.
"He better not think we're that especially after everything. I'm sure he actually understands us already."-
me.
"Look at him..."-Xavier says. "... I'm amping up security. I don't even want a fly to come near my son."-I
chuckle.
"Any news yet on who sent that SMS?"-me.
"Nope. But Nqoba and his team haven't stopped their search."-he says and takes out his phone. I
thought he was going to make a phonecall but he instead started taking more pictures of Logan.
Zimu.
"You better not post those not with that crazy unknown psycho out there."-I warn.
"You know I didn't even think that psycho could be going through our social media pages... Let me call
the family and tell them that too."-he quickly pecks my cheek and that of Logan before walking out with
his phone on his ear.
I caress his soft plump cheek as I held him. Oh my...he has my nose. Mhnnn... He's also falling asleep and
I haven't even burped him.
My phone rings and I reach for it from the bedside table.
It's Rendz.
Crap.
I get up and place Logan at the centre of the bed in a comfortable position before rushing out of my
bedroom. I seriously hope and pray he doesn't cry. I quickly clear my throat and leave the bedroom.
"Rendz...hi"-I answer awkwardly.
"Hey you took your time when answering that."-she says.
"I was in the bathroom sorry."

"Anyway I'm actually around your side of the city can I come visit?"-she says a bit jumpy.
"Visit? It's like 22h05 and you want to visit?"-me.
"Is there a problem with that or...?"
"Of course there is a problem with that... There's family here and you want to add on to that? I'm sorry
Rendz but I can't."-I lie. I didn't want her here. Infact I didn't want anyone here who wasn't family or
anyone I didn't trust.
I suddenly didn't trust anyone including Rendani.
"Please Azi I...I got robbed earlier today and I'm scared."
"Rendani I'm sure there is security at res honestly."-I probably sound like the most inconsiderate person
on this Earth but the fact remains. She couldn't come here.
"Please Azania I'm desperate here and you're the only person I can trust."-she says and sniffs.
Sheesh I feel so bad.

But still she can't come here.
"Okay look you could probably call Nqoba or even the police to have them look at this matter even
further but I can't bring you here."-I state firmly. I'm not changing my mind.
"Fine... Thanks for nothing "-she says and hangs up.
Wow.
What was that?
I head back to our bedroom to check on Logan before heading downstairs to make myself something to
eat. I'll have to ask Xavier to go shopping for our bundle when I see him again. I quickly fry my own eggs
all thanks to a tutorial that I found on YouTube. It was actually very easier than what I thought it would
be. I took some bread and made a cup of tea.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Xavier's POV.
"Daddy mommy is going to kill herself! Please get here!"-Matt explained on the phonecall.
"What do you mean?"-me. Okay I was a little panicked at this point because if this chick did kill herself
especially in front of the kids then they would be traumatised.
"Daddy she has a gun to her head."-Luke joins in.
I shut my eyes frustrated at the stupidity of this woman. I rush back into the house to fetch my keys
after hanging up and assuring them that I'd be there. I find Azania eating in the kitchen.
"And then? What's wrong?"-she asks.
Shit... Do I tell her my ex is planning on killing herself in front of Matt and Luke or...? I think it's best that
I don't keep this from her incase it comes back to bite me.
"Melissa wants to shoot herself. In front of her kids."-I state quickly and grab my keys.
"What?! Wow... Your ex is crazy."-her. "Anyway go before more shit goes down."
"You mean you're okay with this?"-I ask and look at her.
"As long as you'll be coming back to us then I'll be fine."-she says and I find myself smiling. Xander was
not something she ever wanted in her life and now she's warned up to him so easily. It's beautiful
actually.
"Of course I'll come back to you."-I come closer to her and kiss her forehead before stealing a piece of
her eggs.
"Ha.a (no) now you're stealing my food? Go go... otherwise..."
"Okay fine. I'll be back. Promise me you'll be fine with my little man?"
"Duh...now go so you come back sooner."-she says and I nod before pecking her forehead again and
rush out. I didn't even notice that I probably just spent a whole 5 minutes in there with my girl instead of
going to save my ex... Okay that sounds odd.
I drive off to her apartment and ask myself if this was really worth it. I mean I could also be putting my
own damn life in danger here and I wasn't even close to being ready to die. I just became a father for
goodness sakes.
I pull up on her driveway get out after turning the car engine off and head to the door. I don't even
bother knocking. The moment I'm inside I'm immediately engulfed by silence. Crap I can't be late.
"Luke!? Matt?! Melissa!?"-I call out but get no response. I go check behind the first door here nothing. I
rush down the passage and again nothing. "shit...Luke! Matt!"
I go check in the last room in here and notice there's someone in bed.
"Melissa...?"-I say and there's a long moment of silence before she sniffs. It smells like alcohol in here...
"Do you remember the time you told me you'd never leave me because I was your life?"-her. I frown.
"Mel-..."
"Do you fucking remember your vows to me Xavier? 'baby I'll always be there as your knight in shining
armor' right? "-her again. She slowly sits up and reveals her over cried self. Mascara or whatever you call
it running down her cheeks. "Look at you now becoming my knight in shining armor... I knew you still
had some love for me that that tramp can't take away."
I frown.
This bitch is delusional.

"I came here because I thought your stupid ass was going to kill herself in front of the kids. I fucking
came here to take them away so you can do that in peace."-I say jokingly.
"Wait so you want me to kill myself? You actually want me to end my life?"-her. I shrug.
"I mean if that's what you want then I'm not stopping you. Go ahead. Do it. I can even give you my gun if
you want."-I say and watch her get out of the bed she's been in ever since I came in here.
"How could you be so insensitive Xavier? How could you not care about me this much?"
"Well it's pretty obvious that what I felt for you is shit down the toilet. I'm not the one who's supposed
to be concerned about you anymore okay."
"You mean you don't even want to touch me anymore?"
"I have a fiancee I'd gladly touch back at home thank you very much."-me.
"That bitch ain't worth your time!"-she yells.
"Neither are you okay?"-I say back.
"She doesn't love you!"
"Do you?"
"Of course I do how could you even ask me that!?"-her. She was always this loud when she'd drink
herself senseless.
"Can we just stop lying to each other. I know now that you only loved me for my money and the fact
that your lazy ass didn't have to work. You never loved me Melissa and that's a fact."-me.
"How could you even say that?"
"Well for starters who the fuck lies to their so-called love-of-their-life about being fucking infertile huh?
Who would want to depress their so-called soulmate and lie to them about I repeat not even one but
two children who are being fathered by an old friend?"-okay I was super angry now to be honest. I
wasn't even in my dry 'joking' mood anymore.
She keeps quiet.
"You know what because of that woman you keep on calling a bitch I'll finally know how it feels like
fathering my own blood. I'll do right by her. I'll be the man for her day in and day out. I'll protect her and
cherish her because she's my bitch now. Now excuse me."-I say and walk out of here. She yells and
throws something to the wall that instantly breaks.
I go to the backyard and luckily find Matt and Luke hogged in a corner.
"Boys come."-I call them over. They look terrified but unharmed. Luke is shaking. "Come let's get you
guys out of here."
"Daddy what about mommy? Is she okay?"-Luke asks his bottom lip quivering as he asked this question.
"Yes she's fine. "-I lie. That woman is not fine and she definitely needs help. "Have you guys eaten?"-I
ask as we made our way inside the house again.
Matt shakes his head. "Where's Nancia?"
"Mommy fired her."-Luke.
"What?"-me. "Why?"
They both claim not to know the cause of this sudden firing of their nanny. As we were about to reach
the passage I hear a gunshot go off.
My heart stops as I check around me but see nothing alarming.
Shit.
Melissa!
"Stay here. Matt keep an eye on Luke. I'll be back."-I say already rushing down the passage. My heart
beating faster and faster as each second passed by.
"Melissa!"-I called out and got no response. I called out two more times before slowly opening the door.
Oh no...
I shut my eyes only to see the image appear in front of me again. What the fuck do I do now?
I go to her seemingly lifeless body that laid face down on her bed. The smell of gunpowder was still fresh
and dominant in the air. I didn't even bother to check if she was still alive especially after seeing that she
shot herself in the head. Where did she get that gun?
I rush back to the boys while dialing 10111...
After hanging up I take the boys with me to the car where we sit and wait for the police and the
ambulance to get here.
Guilt was eating me up for supper.
"Daddy... daddy."-Luke tapped on my shoulder.
"Yes boy?"-I respond after clearing my throat.
"Is mommy okay?"-him.
No.
"She's... alright boy. Don't worry okay."
"Daddy?"
"Yes Luke?"-me.
"Can I go see her?"-he asks. I shake my head and run a hand through my hair.
"But dad-..."
"No Luke!"-I snap
Sehranmagzine.com
okay."
"Daddy?"
"Yes Luke?"-me.
"Can I go see her?"-he asks. I shake my head and run a hand through my hair.
"But dad-..."
"No Luke!"-I snap irritated. "Matt tell your brother that he should stop talking."
They both keep quiet for a long long while up until I hear Luke sigh. He peeps between my seat and the
passenger seat.
"Daddy I'm sorry."-he whispers into ear. I find myself smiling lightly before reality sinks in again. I just
lied to these kids which isn't quite the best thing to do especially if they could solve this in their own
heads.
"It's okay boy daddy is just stressed okay..."-I whisper back to him and tell him to jump over to the
passenger seat.
After a few minutes of sitting in silence I see the police lights and step out. The boys are sleeping in the
car.
A police officer steps out and approaches me. "Evening sir I'm detective Cele you're the one who placed
the 10111 call correct?"
"Yes sir."-I answer nervous as ever. I clear my throat before shoving my hands into my pockets.
"And you are?"-Detective Cele asks.
"I'm Xavier King sir."
"Is she inside?"-he asks me. I nod and look down slightly.
He takes out a notebook and pen. "Okay great now I need you to tell me everything that happened
today before you called 10111."
"Detective Cele we found a body and a murder weapon."-a police officer interrupts up.
"I'll be there in five."-Cele.

The police officer nods and walks off leaving Cele and I alone again.
He focuses on me and clears his throat. "Now where were we? Right. What happened before you called
10111?"
"Well. I..."-I narrate everything I knew. Leaving out the part where I encouraged the woman to go ahead
and take her own life of course. He nods and writes down almost everything I said.
"Was Ms Wilson a regular drinker?"-him.
I nod. "Yes."
"Okay then Mr King I'll give you my numbers and you'll call me if you remember anything."-he says also
talking down my details from address to cellphone number.
---
I step out of the car and go get the sleepy Luke from the passenger seat. Matt wakes up and gets out of
the car as well.
"I was going to carry you too you know."
"I'm a big boy."-he says and shuts his door. "keys"

"My back pocket."-I say and wait for him to get it and lock the car.
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Azania's POV.
I had just finished putting Logan to sleep after taking a quick shower. It's 01h10 and Xavier was still out
there with that woman I assumed. I wanted to call him a few times just to make sure he was okay but
decided against it. I didn't want to come across as insecure or anything. I get into bed and snuggle
closely to the covers.
I couldn't even sleep. I reached for my phone and checked if maybe I missed any of his calls but nothing.
I click my tongue and force myself to sleep.
Before I could even successfully force myself to sleep I hear the bedroom door open. The lights get
turned on and I thought I'd pretend to be asleep but I instead sit up.
He looks like a mess.
He gives me a glance before closing the door and removing his t-shirt. His shoes and pants follow soon
after before he takes them to the laundry basket.
So far he hasn't explained anything and that has me worried... His whole aura actually has me worried
honestly.
He switches off the light before making his way to bed. After getting in I face him.
He sniffs.
"I'm sorry I lost track of time."-he says his voice hoarse.
"What happened?"
He sighs.
"I called Melissa's parents and they'll come by on Thursday to pick up the boys."
"The boys?"-me.
Thursday is two days from now...
"Matt and Luke."-he says dryly.
"Matt and Luke? Xavier... Don't tell me she... She...?"-wow I couldn't even say it because I sensed it
already. It weighed heavy on my shoulders.
"She did."-he says and my heart clenched painfully as an image of her flashed in my mind.
I didn't like her but I'd never wish her death. Those boys don't deserve such honestly. Now they have
No mother to look up to. I know what that felt like. My mother killed herself too once upon a time.
I find myself taking him into my hold and allow a tear to flow freely from my eye.
"Do the boys know yet?"
"I couldn't tell them but I think Matt already suspects it."-he responds.
I don't get why this actually hurts more than it's supposed to... More especially since it was my
husband's ex wife. Maybe because I didn't expect her to kill herself.
For Xavier?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Morning came pretty quickly since I had to wake up twice for baby Logan. And when I tried to squeeze in
some more sleep the small boy barged into our room.
I think he's Luke. A cute pink lipped blonde boy with an adorable voice. "My name is Luke what is your
name pretty lady?"-he asked as I went to open the curtains.
Pretty Lady? Sheesh I'm flattered.
"My name Is Azania."-I say and turn to him. He was now standing by Logan's crib just staring inside.
"That's a beautiful name. Is this your baby?"-he asks and I can't help but smile. This soul is beautiful.
"Yes it is."-me.
"Is it a girl?"-he asks.
"No. He's a boy. Just like you."
"What's his name?"
"His name is Xander...but you can call him Logan."-I say.
"Logan...mhmm. Logan is awake."-he says and I make my way to them. My baby was indeed awake
focussed on Luke. I reach down and take him into my hold before kissing his forehead. I'll bath him after
I eat and get a little more strength.
"Azania."-Luke.
"Yes Luke?"-I take his hand and we walk out of here.
"Is my mommy coming back? Matt said mommy is never coming back."
We halt.
I can't lie to the kid not when Matt has proven to be woke. "Luke... I..."-I pause. "...yes. Your mom is not
coming back. But she's watching over you. Every single time. Okay? She still loves you dearly. Both of
you."-that's the best I can do as I wipe away his tears with my free hand. "Don't cry Luke... Please big
boys don't cry."
"I'm not crying..."-he says and looks away. When he looks back at me he's tear-free.
"You hungry?"-I ask trying to change this situation. Food does somewhat make things better right?
"Very."
"Come let's go see what Xavier made."

We find Xavier making some pancakes when we get to the kitchen. Matt is seated on a highchair. He
looks rougher than Luke does. By rougher I mean like he looks like he's a closed book... Something like
that.
Seems like Olivia and Josh already left. These two are serious it seems.
"Morning."-I greet and Luke slips his hand out of my hold.
"Hi Daddy hey Matt. This is Azania daddy's new girlfriend. And that over there is Baby Logan."-this boy
introduces me and points to Logan. Wow.
Girlfriend.
"Hi."-Matt.
"Hey Matt."-me.
"You're just on time come sit."-Xavier says looking a little better than yesterday. He was in shorts
slippers and an apron. I'm not even going to mention how messy the kitchen was at this point.
We sat and Xavier worked his magic.

He packs out plates for each of us and serves us each 3 pancakes. He pours syrup on Luke's pancakes
butter and grape syrup on Matt's pancakes and mine gets all 3 toppings and some bacon to go with it.
Sheesh.
Isn't this Love?
"There's more if you want more."-He says and we start digging in after saying a short prayer that Luke
gave us. I dig in with my free hand while Logan just looked at me like he wanted to say something.
"So...what's the plan?"-me.
"There is no plan. But the police will be here later on to ask me more questions. They might even ask the
boys before they can conclude their investigation."-him.
"As long as they don't arrest you for something you didn't do. And what about the...you know?"
I was talking about her... Funeral.

"I'll leave that to her family. I'll help out though if I have to."-him.
I nod. This was a mess. Melissa just had to be selfish and stupid and kill herself right? Now two innocent
boys are motherless because of her stupid act.
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Rendani's POV.
"Any questions?"-professor Langa asks and I look around. Good. "Okay then Smarties. Read up on
chapter 34 to 37. Class dismissed."-he says and we all get up to leave.
I'm making my way down the corridor on high alert. I wasn't feeling comfortable at all today nor was I
feeling comfortable yesterday. Yes I lied about being robbed but I had hoped she'd be caring enough to
allow me in after what really happened...
"Rendani! Wait up!"-I hear Lola call me out. I roll my eyes because I knew she'd just waste my time with
something that had nothing to do with education.
I stop and turn to face her. She was dressed exactly how I would be dressed if I was still working at the
palace. I paste on the best fake smile I could manage as she ran closer.
"You walk so fast it's unbelievable actually. Anyway I love your sneakers they look expensive."-her.
"You stopped me to tell me about my shoes?"-I ask a little irritated by her.
Okay maybe that wasn't it. Maybe it was because of the text I received this morning.
I looked around briefly and scratched my head.
"Okay not really."
"Then what is it? I have to get studying. These books won't read themselves.."-I say and she pulls out a
piece of paper out of her Gucci purse.
"You are invited to a party babe. Here's the address time and place. You can wear anything you want to
wear as long as you look dazzling. "-she says and stuffs the piece of paper in my hand.
"But...I-..."
"Byeeee! See you there."-Lola says already rushing off to her next victim. I knew I had to attend this
party otherwise she'd drag me to it even if I had only my pajamas on. I let out a frustrated sigh and yell
inwardly before continuing off to my room.
As soon as I get in there I close and lock my door before throwing my bag on the bed. Today was
honestly a long day with long classes.
Argh! Mildred left the curtain open. I rush to go close it.
My phone vibrates and I quickly take it out of the pocket of my jeans.
It's him or her again just with a different number since I blocked and reported the first one. Shakily I
open the message and see a pic that was clearly taken a few seconds ago.
It's of me closing the curtains.
There is a text underneath it.
*I'll see you at the party ;-)*
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
31
Chapter 31
♡
♡
"I don't want to go."-Luke begged.
It was the dreaded Thursday that came way to quick for my liking. I was bonding so well with these two
very different personalities and now they had to go to their family. I sigh and look at the sad Luke who
has me wrapped around his fingers.
"Can't you make daddy change his mind? I like it here. "-he says the last part softly.
"I like having you here too Luke... You know what I'll go and convince Xavier to allow you guys to stay
longer okay?"-me. He beams literally starts jumping up and down.
The guest bedroom door opens and he walks in hands deep in the pockets of the jeans he wore that fit
him perfectly. Luke stops jumping and sits on the bed.
"What's with all this joy in here are you guys done packing?"-him. Luke and I look at each other like the
culprits we were.
"Actually Luke and I here were discussing a very important matter."-I say and turn to look at Xavier who
has a confused facial expression.
"What matter?"
I clear my throat dramatically. "Luke doesn't want to go."
"Babe..."
"No listen. I don't want them to go either."-me.
He looks at Luke. "I thought you loved staying with Grandma B."
"But I love staying with you even more."
"Luke..."-me.
"Please Daddy. Please."-Luke begs. Xavier looks at me and sighs.
I'm also pleading.
"Fine fine fine fine fine fine. Now stop looking at me like that. I'll go tell Matt and inform Grandma B that
her grandsons don't love her anymore."-Xavier.
"Daddy I didn't say that!"-Luke says shocked. He's so innocent that it's actually it's cute. Xavier chuckles.
"I'm kidding. I'll be back. "-he walks out leaving me with little Luke.
I giggle and soon after feel him hugging my waist. "Thank you."-him
------------------------------------------------------------------
"She...she was my one and only sister and now she's resting forever."-her sister sniffs.
We've been here for hours listening to how great and Almighty Melissa was. Half of the time I'd hold in
my own opinion because speaking here would be disrespectful. I'm here only because of the boys but I
honestly want to leave. Logan is in his pram sleeping peacefully.
This is a small memorial with only close family and friends
I've obviously been getting stares mainly because I'm the only black human here.
"Thank you Miranda next we have Xavier."-the supposed MC announced. I zoned out again. Whatever
Mira-what-what said must've been... Imported?
Xavier takes centre stage. I didn't know he was part of the programme.
"Uhmm...I humbly greet all of you. I've known Melissa ever since we were in highschool. She'd always be
a different soul each and every day. You'd never know what you'd get from her. We were good friends
and we tried tolerating each other for as long as we could. I don't... really have much to say honestly
apart from may the family find peace and healing."-Xavier says.
"You killed my daughter!"-B says agonisingly and stands tears streaming down her face.
I'm still wondering what this B stands for.
Brat?
Bold?
Bitch?
Ballistic?
Anyway...everyone turns to look at her. "You're the one who shot my daughter and I know it! Mel
wouldn't just end her life like that! You killed her!"
I find myself on my feet Luke holding my hand firmly.
"Mom is right you killed her especially since you wanted to divorce her for so long."-Mira-what-what
says. The whole family is just attacking while I listen. I think Xavier is quiet because he has history with
this family.
Well I don't. And right now they're attacking my man because of their stupid daughter's actions? Fuck
that.
"Really? This is what we do at white people's funerals? We accuse people for doing certain things
without concrete evidence? We cause unnecessary scenes instead of respecting the dead?"-me.
B looks at me.
"How dare you speak to me like that!"-her.
"How dare you speak to me like that?"-I state right back.
"Who are you?"-she asks.
"She's Azania Grandma B. Daddy's new girlfriend."-Luke answers for me.
This child!
It's like he just has that whole sentence on speed dial.
Anyway I smile inwardly. "Grandma B why are you saying daddy killed mommy? Daddy was with us wh-
..."
"Luke."-I stop him gently.
"I'm sorry."-he says quickly before It goes quiet.

"You know what? I think you guys should go."-Melissa's sister says.
I shrug. "Okay."-I grab my handbag and push baby Logan out with me. The boys follow. We get to the
car and I notice I left the keys. I sigh. What was I even thinking when I came here honestly?
Xavier steps out of the building.
"And I never want to see you ever again!"-B yells at the entrance of the building.
Wow.
Is this really happening?
---
We're on our way back to our place where there's atleast some form of peace. I'm thankful. Very
thankful.
Xavier chuckles. "They honestly think I did it."
I look at him then out the window again. "We'll talk when we're not around the boys babe."-me. And
now the boys will miss their mother's funeral.
Minutes later we drive up to our street. Logan has been sleeping the whole way to here. "Isn't that your
friend?"-Xavier asks and I look over to the front. I frown. Rendani.
"That's Rendani what is she doing here?"-I say and look at Logan then to Matt who was sitting next to
me.
"Matt."
He looks at me. This one is honestly not a talker. "Can you hold Logan for me Please?"-I ask him. He nods
and holds his hands out for me to take him.
"I want to hold him."-Luke.
"You'll hold him later okay my boy."-I say and cover Logan with a blanket. The car comes to a halt in
front of the gate and I quickly step out. They drive in after the gate opens.
"Rendani?"
She looks around and then to me.
"Azania I..."
"What are you doing here?"-me.
"I...I want to talk to you."-her. She looks around again and then to her phone which she unlocks and
scrolls through.
"About what? If this is about me not allowing you here then I'm sorry bu-..."
"No it's not that."-she cuts me off and like earlier looks around. "Read this."-she hands me her phone
and I sigh before reading it.
"I'll see you at the party."
"I like that red dress on you."
"Sleep tight princess Rendani."-I read the three texts on her screenshots and frown. "What is this? A
secret admirer?"
"Really now Azania? Why would I show you that?!"-she half yells at me and snatches her phone away
from my hold.
"I don't know Rendz but honestly I'm conf-..."

"Someone is watching me Azania."-she cuts me off again and I cringe as a wave of coldness manifests
down my spine. I'm suddenly too angry at her.
"Someone is watching you?!"-I Fume.
"That's what I just said."
"And your best idea is to come here? You felt as if it was better to bring whoever the fuck is stalking you
to my house where I have 3 kids living and breathing in?"-I ask.
"No...I..."
"Why not call Nqoba like we all do Rendani?!"-I ask and she quickly wipes away the tears that threaten
to roll down her cheeks.
"I got scared Okay!"
"Scared my foot Rendani! I also received texts and letters from whoever but I never came running to you
because I got scared!"-me.
"Okay...okay baby calm down. Okay?"-Xavier says rushing to stand next to me. When he finally gets here
he holds my by my shoulders. I shut my eyes and count to 5 before opening them again.
Gosh I'm still fuming.

What a waste.
"Look baby I think Rendani meant well especially if you look at it from my point of view. She came to you
because you are her bestie."
"She should've gone to a bestie that is a Hitman Xavier. I'm not about to arrange a funeral for such
things that could've been averted."
"You and your mouth. Go feed Xander. I'll handle Rendani."-he says and there's a long moment of
silence.
Mlungu this is my fight.
His stare starts becoming a little intimidating when he sees that I'm not going anywhere.
Fine.
I turn and leave them there but my mind is still curious as to what Xavier was going to tell her.
What would be the dept of their conversation?
Fuck I was jealous about the fact that I couldn't be present for this stupid secluded talk.
A little cry makes me rush in and in the lounge I find Matt trying to hush Logan to little success.
"Did you pinch my baby?"-I joke causing him to look at me with a panicked facial expression.
"No. I swear I didn't hur-..."
"Woah Matt I'm joking. Relax. He's probably just hungry."-I say taking him from Matt.
Oh he was.
Matt is sitting right across me
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quiet like usual. I look at him. He looks so damn adorable in his little black tux.
When is Xavier... Sheesh...I needed to distract myself from the two humans outside. Now.
"So... where's Luke?"
"Upstairs. In the toilet."-He states.
I nod. I think this is the longest I've spoken to this one. I feel like I didn't know him at all and he's been
here for almost a week.
"Matt?"
He focuses back on me. "Do you have a...hobby?"-he frowns. Maybe he doesn't want to talk to me.
Maybe he doesn't like me at all and I'm pushing boundaries right now. Maybe he hates me for half-
ruining his family.
"I...like playing video games."-him.
Pheew! He talks!
"Yeah? Just like Xavier."-I say. He hasn't touched any of those things for months. Should I be worried?
"He taught me. And I'd best him."-he says briefly.
This child.
"Daddy always let me win."-Luke says and comes to sit next to me. The boy even changed from his tux
into a Spiderman t-shirt and Spiderman shorts.
"Were you eavesdropping little Mr?"-me.
"To be honest with you. Yes. I was eavesdropping ma'am."-he says and I chuckle.
Sheesh couldn't Matt be this easy too...
"You are something else honestly Luke."

Xavier walks in walking alone. I'm guessing he chased Rendani away...wait no he didn't. What the fuck?
"Luke Matt. Upstairs. Now."-Xavier. I subtly remove sleepy Logan from my boob and he instantly wakes
up.
So much for being subtle.
The boys make their way upstairs. Rendani sits down.
Xavier too.
I shake my head and look at my baby.
"Why is she still here?"
"Baby. Relax."-I roll my eyes. If these sickos ever decide to attack us they better start with him or her...
"Nqoba said she should stay put. He's coming over."
"How great."-I mumble uninterested by this. Seconds later I'm up and heading upstairs.
"Where are you going?"-Xavier.
"Upstairs duh."-I peck Logan's cheeks.

After changing his diaper and checking if his umbilical cord stump I quickly change into something
comfortable. I then put Logan to sleep before going back downstairs. Nqoba is still not here and I only
spot Rendani by the lounge.
"Your man is with the two boys."-she says and I nod and sit down. It feels intense in here on so many
levels.
"Look Azania I'm sorry for coming here uninvited I just got scared and your place was the only place I
could think of."-she says.
"Well my place isn't exactly a safe house now is it? I have not one but 3 kids not under my care and the
best security I have is that idiot upstairs and his goons outside. That's not enough which is why we
informed Nqoba because we knew he'd be the perfect one to handle this shit. All you had to do was
think Rendani. Even a call would've done wonders honestly. But anyway it's whatever. I forgive you."-I
say and look at the time.
12h30.
When is this Nqoba getting here so this can be solved?

About 40 minutes go by with us passing time by watching TV. Xavier receives a call which he answers.
"Yes?"-him. "Okay..."-he rushes upstairs I assume to the camera room.
I call it that.
There's a knock on the door which makes Rendani and I look at each other. I shrug and she shrugs too
before Xavier rushes down the stairs again. "Didn't you hear that knock?"
"I did."-Rendani.
"We both did."-me.
He opens the door and I'm on my feet the moment he walks in.
My 'hero'...
He gives Xavier a handshake before turning to face us. He nods and smiles.
Gosh.
He still looked amazing enough to eat but... I was and am with Xavier now which means all the fantasies
I've had of him doing the most to me have to die.
"Azania Rendani. It's lovely seeing the two of you again."-he says his deep voice channelling the whole
room.
Gods of hoeville no!
I think I forgot that he already knew our names.
"Hey."-Rendani greets and I just nod. Xavier is giving me a look.
Crap.
I quickly look away and find my seat. More men walk in and I suddenly feel overwhelmed. That Melo guy
is here too - the one who gave me wise words back and the palace. He looked amazing... Actually they
all did. Wait he has a twin? Sheesh. Was I even looking at the correct Melo or...
I count five of them and all of them look like gym rats... Well apart from the last one.
They all shake Xavier's hand not at us and then make their way to the lounge table. This must be
business then. "Love of my life! Rendani. Come this side."-Xavier.
Love of my life?
Again we look at each other before getting up and making our way to where they were.
"Azania. How are you girl?"-one of the twins ask me as I'm about to sit down. He must be Melo.
"Melo? Right?"-me.
"Duh don't compare me to this fool. Always know that I'm the one that looks amazing-er than this one."-
he says while pointing at his twin. I chuckle.
"Oh I'm the ugly one here? Who exactly is married? Me right."-the other twin says.
"The only reason you married her is because you're afraid she might wake up and realise that I'm the
hotter one. There's less chance of her leaving you because you married her."-Melo says and I'm honestly
wondering if these two are always acting like this.
"Shut up. We didn't come to Joburg to fight about this."-the other twin says.
Melo shrugs and looks back at me.
"I'm okay Melo."-I answer his first question.
He nods looks Xavier's way and clears his throat. "Cool. Well I think we should introduce ourselves. I'm
Melokuhle Melo for short and this creature next to me is Hlelo. Our leader or whatever. Over there is
Lundi."-he points at the one who looks different from the others.
Smaller if I may say.
And what's this about Nqoba not being the biggest fish in this sea?
"That's Tsiietsi. Our computer nigga. And lastly we have Nqoba. You remember his ugly ass right?"-Melo
rounds up the men at the table with a pretty chuckle-worthy introduction.
"Hlelo is right you are stupid."-Nqoba says shaking his head. "Anyway men. These two ladies used to
work for me. Rendani and over here is Azania. This is Xavier the main man here."
"Sup."-Melo.
This dude is seriously life.
The others nod and so does Xavier. He gives me a quick glance with that same look he gave me earlier.
He looks down at his phone and types something before I hear my phone vibrate. When I check the
message is from him.
*Eyes on my me women. You are mine only. I swear I'll kill these men.*-the text read. I shake my head
and look back up again. He's serious.
Sheesh!
"Now to business. A couple of days ago you sent me a number that you wanted us to trace down and
find whoever was sending the messages to you right?"
I nod. Xavier clears his throat. "Yeah."
"That number eventually led us somewhere where I think will confuse you a little."-Nqoba.
"T."-Hlelo orders and sits back. I figure T is Tsiietsi who stands up after the order. He opens his laptop
and a minutes later turns it around to face us. What exactly am I supposed to be looking at right now?
"This is the location I found. Whoever is doing this shit is from around here."-T says.
I frown. "So...have you guys figured out who it is or you just have a location?"-me.
T chuckles and clicks on a button on his laptop and the location thing zooms in. "Ma'am I don't do half
jobs. This should make things a bit clearer."-He says with a smirk.
Well...
The three of us inspect the picture trying to grasp the hint Tsiietsi just gave us. It takes me minutes
before I actually notice something that makes me frown hard. "But...this is where my apartment was."-I
say.
"Good girl."-Tsiietsi says with a smirk and again presses a button. "This is the second one."
"Wait so whoever the fuck keeps sending us shit always knows where the fuck we are? How? Do you
mean to tell me he always fucking follows us?"-Xavier asks.
This is where Suzanné lives. Where I had my baby shower.

"Clearly my brother. This should prove that whoever this person is already knew a ton of crap about the
two of you. So my lovely people I went and did my own Private investigating type of thing and boom."-
He said as he typed something on his laptop. The moment he turned it back to us I felt like I just
received the mother of all slaps on my cheek.
I'm up.
"You mean he's th-..."-Rendani started but gets interrupted by Matt's voice.
"Aunty Azania Logan is crying."-He says and it takes me a while to actually decide on rushing upstairs to
attend to my bundle.
He was indeed crying and I lifted him up before trying to hush him but nothing. I end up feeding him as
always while looking out the window. That picture was extremely clear and I wonder how and why the
fuck they would do this. Why would they want to ruin my life like this when we didn't report them or
anything else you nature.
Nathi must've sent them.

He must've because that would explain Teanet being in that picture with...with..Ghana. I can't believe I
trusted him once upon a stupid time.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
32
Chapter 32
♡
I tell these men everything we couldn't tell them that day we got rescued when I returned downstairs. I
managed to put Logan to sleep.
I tell them from the drugs to me placing that call.
They all listen as if they've never heard this story before. Rendani is just pale -Even with her complexion-
and quiet.
"Well then. It's official. We'll find them and end them on your behalf."-Hlelo the other twin says.
"End them? As in kill them?"-Rendani asks. I look at her. Infact we all look at her.
How did she not get that?
"Was I not clear?"-Hlelo asks. "That's what I said."
"Oh...okay... I have to go. I forgot about my study group. I'll see you around."-she says and grabs her
backpack before rushing out of here.
Wow.
That just happened.
---
"What is that?"-Olivia asks and tilts her head. I'm not used to having an audience when I paint but today
I noticed how full this house really is.
"Looks like a tree."-Matt.
"Or a stick with snakes going to it."-Luke.
"That wouldn't even make sense."-Matt.
"Yes it would."-Luke quickly defended himself.
I chuckle and shake my head. I dip my brush into the paint again and continue painting the tree-snake-
thing. I actually also had no idea what I was painting but what mattered was the fact that my emotions
were being let out on this canvas.
"You guys are being weird. This somehow helps me deal with things. You guys should try it too."-I say
and they laugh. Literally all of them. They laugh even harder before getting up and getting out of here.
Oh wow.
"And then? Where are they rushing off to?"-Xavier asks walking in.
I briefly look at him and then back to my art.
"I have no idea. I probably scared them off with my how-to-deal-with-issues talk."-I say before feeling
his presence next to me. He carefully gets on his knees since he was carrying Logan.
"What is that?"-him.
"In the words of your other children 'it's a tree' 'its a stick with snakes going to it'"-me. I quickly peck my
baby's forehead.
"What about me? "-Xavier.
"What about you?"-I ask and frown before giving him a look.
"I'm your first baby Spencer. I deserve a kiss too."
"Maybe...maybe not."-I giggle.
"Baby."-him. I quickly peck his cheek too.

"Another one."
"No."
"I'm not going to beg you my baby."
"Well you didn't beg me though my baby."
"You're mine Azania which means I shouldn't be begging you for kisses my baby."-him.
"What are you implying exactly? Are you just going to take these kisses that you want my baby?"
"You read my mind my baby."-he says. "now put it here baby."-he pouts and I lean in for a kiss.
A longer one this time.
"Good. See even Little Us is sleeping. I love you."-him.
"The feeling is mutual."
"Tsek Azania."-him.
Sheesh.
I laugh.
"Sies Xavier. Who taught you that?"-me.
"Nobody. Now let's talk about the main reason I came here since you won't give me some good loving.
Christmas is in a few day's time and I'm sure the family will want to host something."
"Something I'm not getting involved in. My baby and I are staying in."
"Azi."
"You know I have to stay in. Today was an acception for the boys. Besides I look like barf so no. Take the
boys. Go have some fun and come back to me. That's all I want."-Me.
Yes I'm that lazy.
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Ghana's POV.
"I don't want to hurt Rendani Teanet."-I sigh out.
"Nweee I don't nywant to nwurt Nwendani fuck you nigga!"-he mocks me. I look at him.
"Fuck you too."-I say pissed.
"How the fuck do you say you don't want to hurt Rendani when you are fucking tormenting her already?
You're stupid nigga. You've proved to me again why the fuck you are not fit enough for this shit."-He
says and honestly he was pissing me off with every passing second.
"Did you ring Notorious?"-I ask changing the topic that was irritating me to the core.
"Of course I rang Notorious. I'm not you idiot."-he says and before I even know it I have a gun pressed
hard on his forehead. His eyes go wide before he looks at me. "D...dude...you k-know I'm only playin
nigga. Chill."
"Chill? Fuck you nigga I'll shoot your tiny brain out with no fucking hesitation if you call me an idiot
again. I'm not that stupid bitch of yours you hear me?"-I asked. He suddenly smirks. The arrogant ass
doesn't know me honestly.
"Fine nigga fine."-him.
Well fuck this. He's a loose cannon. I hate loose cannons.

He drops me off at my apartment. It's my so called low-key hideout which I believe isn't the best but
since Notorious didn't allow me to move yet I stay put.
My phone vibrates from the inside of my pocket. I take it out and notice its my mother calling.
"Argh...what does she want?"-I mumble to myself before answering. She always called at the worst
times.
"Ya?"
"Is that how you greet your mother Ghana?"-her.
I heave out a sigh and rephrase to please her. "Ma askies (I'm sorry)"
"You better be. Listen Luu is sick again you need to come around and take him to hospital."-she says and
again I sigh. This is the second time this month he's fallen sick and I'm starting to get worried.
"I'll be there in a few minutes."-I say and hang up before going to fetch a bottle of water and an apple. A
text comes through on my phone and I read it while locking my door.
*Meeting @ 18h00.*
Well things never seem to stop hey.

I jog to my car get in and start the engine. I have a couple of hours before this meetings starts. My drive
is filled with mild thoughts of all this shit I'm doing. All these payback and undercover things are bringing
out the worst in me. Believe Notorious to be a heartless bitch. His drug business didn't necessarily fail
but Tiger's death surely affected a lot of things.
All because of those girls.
There's this girl which he has kept captive for the past month. She's the one who basically laid out
everything for Notorious. What's her name again...Nomvula...Nomvelo? Whatever it is She gave
Notorious some juicy information.
---
I park in front of the garage before stepping out with a grocery bag in my hold and make my way inside.
"Mama!"-I call out and go put the grocery bag in the kitchen. "Mama!"
"In here!"-I hear her reply.

I find the two of them in Luu's bedroom. Luu laid in bed. He looked terrible. My poor boy. "My little
man."-I make my way to sit next to him and Mama.
"Pops. I don't feel so good."He says.
"How long has this been going on Mama?"
"3 days now but today he's awfully worse Ghana. You have to get him a doctor or something I can't
stand to see him like this."-mama says.
I nod. "Kub'hlungu kuphi (where does it hurt) little man?"
He points to his stomach and again I nod.
"Let's go."-I say and get up after removing the blankets covering his body. I lift him up and we head out.
Once in the car I drive us to the hospital. There wasn't much conversation in the car apart from my
mother and her annoying 'when are you getting married?' questions that is usually followed by a long
speech.
"Ghana you aren't getting any younger. I want more grandchild."
"Well Mama I don't. Luu is already a handful and you want me to add more to that handful? No mama."-
me.
"So you want your son not to have a sibling?"-she asks me. I give her a brief look before focusing back
on the road.
"What happened to my siblings mama? You want me to have more children when you didn't?"
"Ghana show me some respect. I'm still your mother! Do you even know the crap I had to go through
just to have you? No you don't!"
There's silence in car after she says that. I'm regretting ever saying anything about me not having a
sibling but honestly speaking I don't want another child. Not with my troubles.
"Look ma I'm sorry for saying what I just said to you...but I'm serious. I don't want any more kids... For
now."-I try saving the atmosphere in here.
"Fine. That means I can expect Alutha soon again?"-Her.
I shake my head. "No."-She was honestly just a fling. I didn't even like her as much.
"No? Then I'll have to arrange a marriage for you."
"Mama we're seriously going to talk about this?"-me.
"Yes boy. Who are you waiting for? This boy's mother? Then you're going to wait an eternity my son.
Don't be stupid."
"Mama I'm not stupid. I'll move on when the time is right."
"You sound like a woman right now."
I chuckle. Is this woman really my mother or...
We arrive at the hospital and I manage to find an excellent parking space. I carry my son out of the car
and make my way inside. My mother is locking the car.
"Hi. My son needs to see a doctor."-me.
"Afternoon sir. What seems to be the matter?"-the reception lady asks. I look at Luu and then back to
her.
"He complained about a stomach ache... that's all I know."
She nods and signals to another lady who rushes to our side.
"Get me a wheelchair while I call Doctor Robinson."
The called lady nods and rushes off.

---
"They fucken have info on us because of you two. Why weren't you being careful enough? I thought you
guys were the best!"-Notorious shouts and bangs his fist hard on the table.
"Boss I swear. It is all this idiot's fault!"-Teanet states.
"Me? You've got to be kidding me. You're the one who wanted to go overboard and text one of th-..."-I
started but Notorious cuts me off.
"Shut the fuck up! Both of you!"-him.
"But boss..."
"I said shut up Teanet! I don't fucken care if I've known you longer than anybody else here. You both
messed up and I'm not about messing up!"-he says and we both remain quiet. The whole room is just
quiet actually and I'm starting to think of the worst.
"The 1134-gang is on high alert and I think you guys should disappear. You know these men always seem
to know what to do and where to go."-Notorious says and signals to one of his men. He brings forward
two plane tickets to Mexico.
"Mexico?"-Teanet.
"Can't you read? Disappear. I'll call you that's it they don't kill the to of you before that."-Notorious says
and I take my ticket and turn to leave.
Great.
I might die today.
Teanet follows behind me.
I felt like I had just sold my soul to the devil himself.
"I'll fetch you @22h00. You better be done with all your shit by then."-Teanet says. I look at him and nod
before getting into my car and driving off. I had to call my personal assistant and inform her about my
upcoming absence so that she can tell my second in command Mahlangu. My son was probably going to
hate me for this sudden departure but I had to do what I had to do.
I arrive at my apartment park and rush to my room. I pack away most of my stuff in a backpack and
prepare myself for leaving. An hour to go before that idiot comes to fetch me and I'm already impatient.
I get my phone out and dial my mother to tell her the news. Her phone rings unanswered which makes
me try it again. She luckily answers this time around.
"Your son is still alive relax."-her.
"Mara mama."
"Trust me. What is wrong?"
I sigh. "I'm going again."
"Hau Ghana! For what now?"-she asks.
"A...it's...it's for business mama. I'll be back before you even notice."
"What about Luu then? Will you be back before he notices too?"
"Ma please. I'm sure he'll understand. He has to understand. This is all for... For his... Future."-I lie. I hear
her heave out a sigh before answering with an "okay I love you."
I hang up and immediately send her a wad of cash for both my son and her.
As I was busy packing away some shoes and socks I get disturbed by a knock on the door. I quickly reach
for my gun and cork it. "Who is it?"-me.
"It's me."-Her voice responds.
I swallow.
There's no voice like hers and I knew it so damn well. I rush to hide the gun in my hold before going to
open the door for her. She's thankfully alone. Her eyes pierce through me with no mercy whatsoever.
"What...are you doin-..."
"Can I come in Ghana."-she cuts me off. I blink a few times before moving to allow her in.
"Got your address from Azania. I'm sure you know her pretty well."-she says and turns back to face me.
"Rend-..."
"Why Ghana? Why!"-she cuts me off again. I close the door and go blank. She knew...
"W..why wha-..."
"Don't play dumb with me Ghana... Don't. What did I do to you to deserve such...such hatred? Is this
about me becoming a prostitute or what? Do you know how sleepless I've been for the past few days? I
thought the people that once kidnapped me were out for me again...kanti it's you!"-she says now
standing close to me. I could clearly see the tears that formed in her eyes.
"Baby...I. I don't hate you."
"Then why? Why hurt and torment my friend and I like this? For what? How are you working with
Teanet?"-she dishes.
Crap. I had to lie my way out of this otherwise Notorious would have my head as a centrepiece.
"Teanet is a friend of mine Rendani. I... I'm sorry but baby I just wanted your attention... Especially after
I heard that friend of yours Azania mention your name."-that's the best I could come up with. I kept
quiet to see if she actually believed me or not.
Truth be told I still loved Rendani and I believe she's the main reason I can't carry on with my love life.
Maybe I never got over her and even though I ended up taking Lutendo We still saw each other
regularly. And what I loved the most was the fact that she was changing. She was bettering herself. But
I'm still supposed to follow out Notorious' plans and risk losing it all. This time around I might my son.
"So... All this was for attention?"-she asked and I swallow bringing my hand up to touch her cheek. Her
skin has always glowed dark and smooth. I wanted to bite it and tame it and just make it mine...fuck
notorious right now. I wouldn't be able to end the life of the woman I love...
In a split second my lips lock with hers. It's a rough savouring kiss that not only gives me an instant hard
on but also reminds me of the last time we made out like this. The last I fucked her... She breaks the kiss
and looks at me before slapping me hard on my cheek.
What the fuck!
"How dare you!"-she yells breathlessly. Fuck. I messed up again.
"I-..."-she cuts me off by pulling me to her face and starts kissing me all over again. Her hands on my
shoulders. Mine on her ass. I push her closer to my body wanting her to feel how hard I was for her. I
wanted her to feel how much I still wanted her. How much I want to disappear between her wet folds.
Fuck I had to have her now. No turning back. I lift her up and she instantly wraps her legs around my
waist. I turn to put her back on the wall and I'm thankful for the fact that she wore a skirt. With her
balanced on the wall I manage to allow my hands to move higher. Lifting her t-shirt up and off.
Mine disappears just as fast.
I put her on the bed and quickly unbuckle my pants. All this while we never break eye contact
"Why do I still love you Ghana?"-She asks.
"Maybe because I still love you too."-the words flow off my tongue so easily that it ends up feeling like
I'm digging myself deeper into this pit.
I watch how her whole face beams up after I say those words. She quickly sits up and turns around her
ass immediately going up. Inviting me in.
"You still like it from the back I see?"-her. I chuckle.
"You know me too well baby."
"I'm yours..."-her.
I take in a sharp breath of fresh air before I position myself at her entrance and allow myself to sink in
gently. Savouring every bit that went in. "I'm yours too."-I groan and start ponding fast and hard just like
she's always liked it. Her moans fill the room and they're intoxicating.
"Ah Ghana"-she yells and trembles cumming like a wild wave. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
"Let it go baby. Mark me."-I state breathlessly.
This has to be it again.
I'm honestly going back there again.
I pound faster not allow her to ever have a chance to breathe. Shit I need to cum desperately and its as
if she deliberately tightens up.
"Let go!"-she yells during another orgasm.
"Fuck in here?"-me.
"Yes."-she breathes out and I'm wondering if we're on the same page here. I can feel it deep within my
balls that she's going to suck me dry and at this rate I want her to.
"Argh!"-I groan and still. I needed this. This intense release. My dick even twitches in her a few times
before I pulled out and lay next to my love. I'm calling it quits with Notorious as soon as we come back
from Mexico.
"They're going to be looking for you and they might hurt you."-Rendani says after we have cooled down.
"That's why I'm leaving."
"To?"
"Mexico. I'll be back when everything has cooled down with your people."-I say.
"And Lutendo?"-she asks and looks up at me.
"You can go to my mother's place and stay there if you want to."
---
"Let's go "-me.
"You smell like a girl's perfume are you trying to hint us about something?"-Teanet says.
"Fuck you nigga. Now can you just drive."-me.

SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
33
Chapter 33
Its that Christmas thingy day and my lazy ass is woken up by the energetic Luke. Bless this child but
sometimes I wanted to slap his face right off his shoulders for always wanting to do this.
"Aunty Azania wake up! It's Christmas day!"-he states his smile reaching his eyes.
Goodness.
Why did I want to slap this cute thing again?
"Okay okay... I'm up."-I say and again force myself into an upright position. He's still in his Spiderman
pajamas. Yes. He's obsessed.
"Hurry daddy says santa bought a lot of gifts. You have see them!"-him.
Who's Santa?
As confused as I was I got out of bed and put on Xavier's gown. Logan is still sleeping. I quickly kiss his
cheeks before making my way downstairs. Actually I was being pulled by Luke as if I would disappear in
the middle of these stairs.
"Come come come."-he beams and the next thing I see brings me to a halt.
This was not here yesterday.
They were not here yesterday.
"Azania! Merry Christmas!"-Suzanné says and rushes forward to hug me.
Wow.
Where is Matt...oh there he is.
I haven't even showered yet and I'm not even going to touch the subject of my morning breath. I think I
have another reason for slapping Luke and now Xavier. These idiots.
"I thought you guys were going to celebrate this whole thing at your place or something."-Me. I'm
crossing my fingers and hoping that this morning breath isn't on fleek right now.
"That was the plan but we figured that this is a family thing and since you're family you can't just be left
out of this."-Suzanné.
"Besides I want to see my grandson again it feels like it's been ages since I laid my eyes on him."-Xavier's
mom says.
Sheesh.
Couldn't I atleast get a warning first before getting bombarded with uninvited family.
"Come on guys I want to open my presents!"-Luke yells excitedly and I'm instantly wondering if I had to
bring a gift here.
See why I didn't want a part in any of this.
"Uhmm... I gotta go check on Luke...I mean Logan."-I say and already jog upstairs. The boy is still asleep.
I quickly make the bed and open a few curtains and windows for fresh air.
Xavier walks in and closes the door behind him and I immediately know he has something to say. I bite
on the insides of my cheeks before making my way to the closet.
He follows me.
"You don't look pleased."
"Why would I be pleased with a house full of people I wasn't expecting?"-me.
"Come on Azania you thought I'd let you spend Christmas here alone?"-him. He's in my space.
"Yes."-I answer flatly giving him a look.
"Woman. It's Christmas. A day that you should be spending with family and that's exactly what you have
to do."
"Have?"-I frown. "Excuse me but when has it ever been compulsory to spend this day with anyone for
that matter? I've always spent Christmas alone and sometimes with Za... Anyway I didn't want any of
this."-me.
He sighs heavily.
"Are we fighting about this now?"-him. I can't help but roll my eyes and grab the blue maternity t-shirt
and the nearest pair of jeans I see.
"Maybe I don't know."
"Should I ask them to leave?"
"No."-I state quickly and make my way out of here back to the bedroom.
"Then what exactly do you want me to do?"
"Nothing. Just go back downstairs and celebrate with your family I'll be down in a couple of minutes."-
me. He looks at me for the longest time ever to the point where it starts getting awkward.
"Okay...fine...a couple of minutes."-Him. He turns and leaves.
I take a quick shower before walking up the ever-sleeping Logan to feed and bathe him. He's so tiny but
atleast he's getting some colour on his skin now.
When we're both done we make our way out of the room.
I smell good food...

"Aunty Azania look what daddy got me."-Luke.
"Oh wow."-I look at it. "What is it?"
"A Spiderman action figure."
Basically a male doll.
"It's aweso-..."
"Look at it shooting!"-he cuts me off and rushes back to the Christmas tree where more gifts were laid
out.
Sheesh.
"Okay enough presents for now. Let's eat and then come back here."-Suzanné.
"Ah finally!"-Olivia sighs out already on her feet. Josh is here too.
"You and free food."-Xavier.
"You didn't cook it so shut up."-Liv.
"You're still in my house missy don't forget that."-Xavier.
"Guys seriously... It's Christmas."
"Tell him that."-Liv says pointing to Xavier.
"I swear I will chase you and your trash out of my house."
"Albert stop it!"-Suzanné says which causes everyone to break out in laughter. Including myself.
Sheesh.
Albert.
Matt is quiet.
After managing to calm every hotshot here we go and take a seat at the dinning table. Suzanné already
laid out everything for us like the amazing soul she is. "Daddy can I please go and finish up opening the
gifts I got."-Luke.
"No Luke eat first."
"But daddy..."
"Luke eat first."-Xavier says firmly.
Okay...
Xavier dishes up for me while I go put Logan to sleep. This baby and sleep though...
I take the baby monitor with me downstairs again. Hubby-to-be bought it a few days ago when we left
Logan alone in our room one time and couldn't hear him cry until we went to check. I was terrified. I've
never left him to cry alone for that long and I promised to never again do that.
"Thank you my mlungu."-I utter and seat down again in my spot pulling my plate of food closer.
"It's a pleasure standwa sam.(My love)"-he says and my heart instantly melts at these words.
"Okay before these two lovebirds forget that we're at the table too I think we should say Grace."-
Suzanné
"I'll do it!"-Luke yells.
"Next time Luke let's let your brother say Grace."-Xavier's mom adds.
Luke nods and we all hold hands for this prayer. This boy has been quiet ever since this morning started
and I'm worried.
"Father...God... If you're there then please tell me mommy I love and miss her. Please give her a share of
my food and bless the rest before we eat. Amen."-Matt prays and I'm speechless the moment I open my
eyes. What did this boy just say in that prayer.
He misses his mom?
I think I'm not the only one who's looking at Matt trying to solve whatever matter this is. I'm also sure
that the mood here has just turned somewhat sour with some of us thinking of Melissa. This was
probably one of the days which she spent with her sons wholeheartedly and showed them unending
love... And now she's gone. I'm not Melissa and I'm pretty certain I'll never be her in both these boys'
books.
Sheesh.
"Uhmm...we can eat."
---------------------------------------------------------
It's been 6 months of baby vomit sleepless nights no partying no going out for useless things like doing
my nails for no reason and...definitely 6 long months of learning. And even though I say it was long it still
feels fast. I mean the boy is even sitting right now and soon he'll be crawling in and out of things.
Zimu.
May I also add that I spent new years breast feeding him instead of yelling out "happy New year!"-to the
whole world. Xavier was right beside us while the two boys were at their step Grandma's house.
It was peaceful.
No one woke me up that day apart from Xavier and his new found hobby; wooden-Mike-worthy-singing.
Olivia and Josh.. well they didn't work out anymore and since then things have been depressing from
Olivia's side of life. She didn't take it well at all. Poor thing locks herself up in her room all day long and
only comes out to eat. It's sad really.
And then there's Rendani who I haven't seen in forever.
She's been avoiding me.
I'm saying this because she doesn't answer my calls anymore even my texts and I've accepted that this
friendship was not going to last honestly.
But...it was times like these where I wished Zama was still alive...to see me smile...to see my son...to see
how happy Xavier makes me...to be with her and have her by my side. Im pretty sure she would've
pushed me to do something other than sit at home while breastfeeding on New years.
"I'm off to work baby can I bring you something after?"-Xavier asks and I nod.
"Just yourself thank you."

"Oh? Not even some Chinese food and the perks?"-he asks.
"Not even that. I can make my own Chinese food for your information."-me. I see how his lips quickly
form an 'O'.
"I forgot you think you're chef Gordon Ramsey now."-him.
That's another thing I decided to do to keep myself a little more...busy. Yes people I'm no longer a water
burner... Thanks to YouTube and Xavier's older sister- Anné. These two combined made it possible for
me to whip up something delicious every now and then and I was probably enjoying it.
"Oh yes baby you know it."
"Just don't burn our house down baby I'm not ready to be homeless."-him.
"Woah homeless yani (of what) when I've cooked for you 4 times without setting this house on fire."
"You've been counting?"
"Yes I have."-I fold my arms in front of my chest.
"That's cute...but Let me love and leave you before I make you angry. I'll see you."-he says and I find
myself already pouting and waiting for my daily peck.
Yes it has become a habit honestly and I'm not complaining.
I hear him chuckle before his lips land on mine...giving me the longest peck of my life. I'm kidding but it
was long.
Soon he leaves and I know that today is the day I'll start planning our 'we can get intimate night'.
Basically on that night I'll be giving my all to him all over again. Like the virgin I felt like I was again.
Besides I don't know how long I'll keep on ignoring his tempting gestures and obvious pleas for my
undivided attention.
I quickly headed upstairs to grab my phone and call Logan's grandmother. Her phone rang twice before
she answered breathlessly. "Azi."-her.
"Morning mommy... I'm so sorry foro bothering you this early."
"Seven... it's not...Eight...a problem... nine...talk to me."-she says and counts further.
"You working out ma'am?"
"Oh yess. Gotta work out. I can never know which oldie is probably checking me out."-she says and I find
myself giggling at the thought.
"Okay then let me say my peace and let you continue with your workout... I was wondering if I could
bring Logan over there on Thursday."
"Thursday?"-her.
That's in three days.
I think.
It is.
"Yes Thursday."- Wow. I can't believe I'm sending my baby away all in the name of sex.
I'm a terrible person.
Sheesh.
"Should I be concerned?"
"No mommy not at all."-I defend too quickly.

Oh gosh at this rate I might blow my cover.
"Mhnnn..."-she hums and I swear I feel my face turn red. "I'll be there to fetch him then... Say at around
14h00"
"14h00?!"-my voice is too damn high. I look around in our bedroom before walking Logan's crib. The
cutie is awake.
"Is there a problem with that time?"-her.
Yes.
I sigh inwardly before answering.
"Nope."
"Okay. I'll see you on Thursday 14h00. Bye."-her. The woman even has the nerve to hang up on my
behalf.
Well that went my way...
I roll my eyes before lifting the very awake Logan and bombard his cheeks with kisses. The shy cutie is
giggling away.
"Mfana ka mama (Mama's boy) how are you?"
He obviously doesn't answer me with a logical sentence but he surely giggles some more.
We head downstairs again so we could grab something to eat. I quickly whip Logan up a banana puree
and myself a bowl of cereal.
While feeding him the ever so distant and sad and lonely and now skinnier Olivia comes downstairs. I
completely forgot her.
Crap.
"Morning."-I greet.
She takes a simple glance at me before giving me a very faint "Hi."
"You... good?"
"I'm alright."-her.
"There's cereal over there..."
"I know."-her.
Sheesh.
I keep quiet and continue feeding Logan and myself. I won't force her to talk to me.
She fixes herself a bowl of cereal before heading upstairs again. Poor soul. I still have to get her out of
this house too before Thursday.
---
After getting the two of us clean and putting Logan to sleep I get started on my new portrait of Xavier's
mother. The same painting I'm hopefully getting a big pay from.
My life has become very... Normal. It's very closed off now if I may say so by that I mean it's a bit
more...limited. Limited with the people I see and interact with. The hours go by quickly with Logan
waking up twice to eat get a nappy change and play on his chair thingy. Atleast he wasn't a crying baby
today.
Almost halfway through the painting when I felt I needed another break I whipped out my phone again.
Yes...I was going to buy a sexy number online before I forget. The whole time I kept on thinking about
how easy this was back at the palace and today it feels like the dirtiest thing I could ever do as a human.
Me being me I'm even thinking of ordering a stripping pole... And my slippery fingers accidentally press
the order now button. Oops...
Xavier returns at around 19h00 carrying a huge take away paperbag.
"Is that Chinese?"-I ask with a chuckle.
"Yes now come give Pappa a kiss."
"Why did Pappa buy Chinese?"-I ask getting up from the cushion on the floor.
"I had a feeling you wouldn't cook tonight."-him.

I roll my eyes before pecking his lips. I take the paperbag from him and observe the contents. There are
three containers inside.
"Where's my little sister?"-him. He's busy loosening his tie.
"In her room. She only came out for a bowl of cereal and that was the last I saw of her."-I explain.
"Goodness me. I'll go change while you get us some drinks."-he says and I nod before he walks off. I rush
off to the kitchen to get us the drinks.
I get out my non alcoholic champagne and a cold beer for Xavier. Olivia will see herself out. Minutes
later Xavier returns downstairs with Logan wearing his onesie. I sigh heavily.
Didn't I burn that?
"Look who I found awake."
"I'll complain about that onesie later."-I say heading to the kitchen to fix Logan something quick to eat.
Uhmm... avocado puree...
"What's wrong with my onesie?"-him.
"Everything."
"I see nothing wrong with my onesie."
"Xavier it makes your butt looks smaller."-I say and he laughs. Longer than needed.
"Baby my butt should be smaller than yours at the end of the day. You're the woman here."
"I'm still going to burn that thing."
"Then I'll be burning some of your weaves."
"You wouldn't!"-me. My eyes too wide.
"Try me."-he chuckles.
I swallow and take the bowl of puree back to where we were going to eat.
They're following me.

"Give me my baby."
He hands me Logan before sitting down next to me on the cushion on the floor. I watch him open my
champagne bottle and pour me some in my glass before opening his beer. When I finish feeding Logan I
place him in his seat and buckle him up hoping he won't cry anytime soon.
"So how was work?"-I ask in the middle of my feasting.
"Work was work. We did however develop a new programme for Samsung and it should be the best
yet."-him.
I nod not wanting to so him further what this programme consisted of and his codes and everything else
cause the conversation would end and I'd be completely lost. "What about you?"
"I got started on your mom's portrait and I must say it's well underway."
And I bought a stripping pole!
"Mhnnn... Interesting... excuse me baby I have to call someone."-he utters and takes a quick sip of his
beer before getting up.
What's this man doing?
Who is he going to call at this very hour?
"Olivia!! Liv!!"-he yells.
Oh no.
"What?!"-she yells back.
"Get your flat ass down here this instant!"
"Xavier!"-I exclaim shocked.
"I'm giving you 10 seconds to come downstairs or I'm personally coming up there to drag you down
here!"-Xavier.
Sheesh.
No answer.
"1!"
"3!"
"Haibo what about 2?"-I ask and get the hand from him.
Mxm.
"5... I'm almost at 10 Olivia!"-him.
"8 and a half!"-him. I finally hear footsteps coming towards the stairs before an angry looking Olivia
makes her debut.
"Come down here. "-Xavier demands.
It takes her a while before she comes down slowly. Oh gosh.
"Sit down. "-he orders her when she finally reaches the bottom.
"I don't want to..."
"Say that louder I couldn't hear you clearly."-Xavier says folding his arms in front of his chest. His eyes
too intimidating.
She says nothing and moves towards the place I was sitting at.
"Good now tell me you are not still sulking for that rat that dumped you over a month ago. "
"Fine I won't. "
"Is that sass young woman cause I won't hesitate to chase you out of my house with all your shit."-
Xavier says.
"I might as well move out of here since it's clear you didn't want me here from the start."-she says her
voice on the verge of breaking.
She tries getting up but Xavier demands that she sits down. She does.
"Are you trying to act smart with me? Olivia I'm trying to understand what is wrong with you-..."
"You suck at that then."-Olivia chips in.
"Is that boy making you speak like that to me?"
I get up from the floor and go check on Logan.
He's asleep.
How can he even sleep through so much noise?
"Guys please!"-I decide to chip in after picking Logan up. "Enough. Please. Olivia your brother is damn
concerned about you and you don't seem to want to meet him halfway. I'm sick and tired of your
childish behavior. I'm not saying don't be hurt about Josh leaving you but you have to pick yourself up.
Be a better you and don't give him the satisfaction that he wants from you. I'm pretty sure he's out
there fucking a random hoe and having fun while you want to what? hang yourself? Gosh I'm off to
sleep. Talk like adult."-I say and walk off. They hopefully were going to talk like civilised siblings...I
hope...
------------------------------------------------
The following morning I wake up with Xavier to do a few of the exercises he did each morning. I've been
doing this too for the past two months -well... Apart from yesterday- and let me just say I'm seeing the
results now.
After the intense workout I go and prepare his clothing for the day before picking out my own. For Logan
I pick out an outfit that matches with mine. I still haven't asked how yesterday night went. The plan was
to eavesdrop but I fell asleep before I could even do so with Logan in my arms.
I knock on the shower door and wait for him to turn around. When he does he opens the door quickly.
"Can I join you?"
"You never shower this early... But come in."-him.
"I'm going to the mall."-I say stepping in.
"For?"-him. He brings me closer to him.
"For personal things."
"Oh? How personal?"-him.
"Very personal."-I smirk while trying hard to get myself out of his tight hold. "You're going to be late."
"I'll have a valid reason for being late."-he chuckles.

"Xavier..."-I warn gently and he eventually lets me go allowing me to reach for my shower sponge.
"It's been 6 months Azania."
"So...?"
"So you know..."-he winks.
"No...I don't."
"Azania."-He complains and I snort.
"Fine I know it's been 6 months but my doctor advised me to wait for a year before doing what adults
do."
I watch how his face goes blank for a while and I can't help but snort again.
"A year Azania?"
"Yep."
"Like 6 more months?"
"Yes 6 more long months."-me.
"Oh... Okay."
Sheesh.
He looks at me intensely. His blue eyes piercing through me like daggers. I leave him like that and turn
around giving him my back. A few minutes later he leaves me alone in the shower. Shem. He thinks I'm
serious.
---
"Thank you."-Suzanné says to the cashier and takes the plastics with baby food in it. I honestly didn't like
feeding Xander already made stuff but...
We walk out of the store with me pushing his pram and Anné carrying the plastics.
"Is that all you want?"-she asks.
Xavier called her for me so that she could help me out. Such a darling.
She should've been at her jewelry shop today but she's here with me.
"I think that's all."-I say.
"Great."-she breathes out. "we can finally go and eat."
"You and food."-I roll my eyes.
"Me and food? Psst you know you're hungry too. Come my treat."-she says and we head off to a
restaurant.
We find a place to sit.
She orders and we get our food soon after. "so you and Xavier...you guys still good?"
"Yeah why wouldn't we be?"-me.
"I'm just asking especially since you guys wanted to adopt the boys."
"Do you think we're overdoing that?"
"No... it's just that you guys are ... already going to be like a full house and you haven't even explored
yourselves as a couple."
"But we can't throw them out just like that. They clearly don't want to go to their Grandma B or even
their father for that matter."-I state and bite my bacon strip.
"I understand that but adopting two whole kids just like that..."
"Anné... they're like family to me now and I might not decide now on whether I will indeed adopt them
but I'll keep them under my roof."-I say shrugging. "Anyway speaking of exploring ourselves I need you
to do me a huge favor."
"This can't end well whats this favor?"-her.
"Well... I was planning on having a... Date night on uhmm... Thursday and I was wondering if you could
get Olivia out of my hair for that day."-I gamble.
"Thursday? Date night? Why don't I believe this is just an innocent date?"
"It is."-I answer too quickly and bite on the insides of my cheeks.
I'm doing it again!
"Mhnnn... And you want me to take Oliva away from your love boat?"
"It is not a love boat."

She snorts. "Is too but fine I'll-..."-she starts off but I drift off to the person who walks into the same ass
restaurant as the one we're in.
I frown.
"Azania?"-Suzanné.
"Rendani?"-I say to myself. She hasn't spotted me yet but my eyes are already on her like a hawk.
"Rendani?"-Suzanné asks. "she a friend?"
"She... She was."-me. She's followed by a guy who's wearing shades and a hoodie. The guy pulls her
closer and gently rubs her belly. My jaw drops to the ground.
Rendani is pregnant?!
She smiles and the guy smiles too. That smile. That smile looks familiar and I shivered as my mind found
the keeper of this smile.
Zimu.
Ghana ...and Rendani...and pregnancy bump?
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
34
Chapter 34
♡
Things were not making sense...
...or at least not for me.
I kept asking myself why Rendani would be wining and dining with the enemy untill it clicked.
They were together this whole damn time and now there's a baby involved?
Okay I'm still confused actually. I would be lying if I said I knew exactly how long that had been going on.
I was even considering the fact that Ghana was blackmailing her but she seemed too happy for that.
Yes I called Nqoba immediately when I got home to inform him about what I saw. He assured me that he
would call me if they had a way forward especially now that there's another soul involved. I agreed and
even thought it would be best too if I saw her and we spoke. Maybe then too I'd understand her better.
Actually 'them' better.
I sighed as I packed the last of Logan's things into his bag that he could possibly need for tomorrow.
Atleast that was coming together swiftly like today's supper. I take the bag and go place it in the closet
just to avoid getting questioned by Pappa King.
That 'one year' bomb sentence I dropped on him still had him acting some type of way. He tried hard to
hide it but I knew him better now.
He finally steps out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and his scent filling the
bedroom instantly. He's such a sight. A sight I'd love to take pleasure and worship.
Who would've thought this could be me. Me Azania Mnguni drooling over a man. "Stop looking at what
you can't have."-he says his words touching my core and making me pout.
"Would've been easier if you weren't such a temptation."
"Go speak to your Dr Mahlangu and then come tell me I'm a temptation... But for now thula (keep
quiet)"-him. I chuckle and get up from the bed.
Once in front of him I take a good look at him. Admiring every inch of his face... The stubble on his chin
and those die-hard blue eyes of his. It was at this moment that I knew we weren't a mistake. This man
completed me...or atleast in my mind and soul he did.
I allow my arms to rest around his neck and I watch him bite his bottom lip. "When are we getting
married?"-I blurt.
"Aren't we already married?"
"Stop bring silly Xavier I'm serious."-me.
"Do I get 'some' if I answer?"
I roll my eyes. "You're being silly again."
"I might die Azania!"
"Die then. I'll marry your corpse then on the day of my choice."
"Ah... Look who's being silly now woman how the heck are you going to marry my corpse without my
consent?"
"I'll make a plan... Like a woman always does."-I say.
He removes my arms from his neck still looking me deep in the eye. "My woman is delusional..."-he
chuckles. "...first it's the one year celibacy shit and now you want to marry my corpse? You're shitting on
me aren't you?"
"Why would I be shitting on the man I love and care about... Xavier I honestly just want to know when
and where we're tying the k.n.o.t"
This is awkward and I'm thinking of excusing myself to go eat. I free myself from his hold and make my
way to the door. Reaching for the handle I get stopped by Xavier clearing his throat. "On Xander's
b.i.r.t.h.d.a.y. You'll be my dirty treasure..."
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Rendani's POV.
"Morning my Love."-Ghana mumbled as he kissed my cheeks his one hand on my belly.
"Morning Lufuno's daddy."-I say turning and grab ahold of his face to kiss him on the lips
Lufuno. That is the name we're giving our baby girl. The name was chosen by the love of my life Ghana
Richard Montanga...who I haven't seen in the past 6 months straight. The hideout he was in clearly was
effective since he came back to me yesterday in one piece.
I literally cried when he was at my doorstep holding a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates.
Taking with him on the phone wasn't quite satisfying and when he mentioned he would be back any
time this week I went ballistic.
I manage to break the kiss and rest my forehead on his. "Baby."-me. I watched how his smooth lips
curled up in a smile that made me weak in the knees.
"Don't ruin this moment my love."-he says his eyes still closed.
"But... But I have to."-I say. He falls back on the bed and rests his arms behind his head.
"What is it then?"
"This is about us Ghana. Our unborn Lufuno and our son Lutendo. The mess you're in because of
Notorious and you having to be somewhere out on a hideout."
"Can we just focus on us for today too? I've been gone for so long this is honestly not something I want
to talk about."-him.
"Maybe you're not aware of our shitty situation yet Ghana I've literally been on edge for the past few
months and all you can say is you don't want to talk about it? Well guess what Ghana I wanna to talk
about it! What if these dangerous people come for you and even kill you?"-me.
"Hey hey hey... Nobody is getting killed here okay!"-Ghana yells after sitting up. "I know you're thinking
the worst right now but baby trust me and my boss okay? He wouldn't be where he is right now if he
wasn't good you hear me?"
My hand is in his. Fingers entwined.
"Fine."-I mumble.
"I can't hear you."-he says.
I know he heard me.
"I said fine."-I say louder. He smirks.
"You are fine indeed."
I blush.
"You know it."-me.
"Anyway your friend."-him.

"What friend?"
"Babe you can't be that lonely you know that friend of yours... what's her name again... Azanga?"
"Oh her."-I roll my eyes. "Her name is Azania."
"Makes more sense than mine."-he chuckles.
"Anyway what about her?"-I ask a little irritated honestly.
Not only has that thing been blowing up my phone with texts and calls but she seemed to be persistent.
I had hoped to get her off my back sooner but it took a while. Her and I were done for good. I didn't
want to be friends with someone who wanted my baby daddy dead. No thanks.
"You two still not talking?"
"What tangible thing would we talk about exactly?"-me. "maybe how to end your life?"
"Baby."-he warns calmly.
"I'm sorry but really what would we be talking about?"
"Their plans baby... You know...the inside scoop."
"Inside scoop? Like everything she tells me I pass on to you?"-me.

"Basically yes. That way we can always be one step ahead."
I sigh heavily.
"So you want me to talk to her even after so much time? The Azania I know is a closed off book. She
wouldn't just let me back into her life again after blue ticking her for 6 months straight?"
"Baby...just try...for me. For us."-him.
Oh wow. I'm in a situation right now. I hate it.
"Please baby."-him.
Argh. I still can't say no to this smile. I nod. "I'll do it for you then baby."-his smile widens even more
after my desired statement before he smothers my face with kisses.
"Thank you my love you deserve the world. I'll go make the two of you some breakfast."-he says and like
a little boy with newfound joy jogs out of here. This sucks already.
I reach for my phone unlock it and scroll to her number. I take a deep breath before calling. It rings...and
rings...no answer.
I try again. It rings again...and rings...and-...she picks up. "Hello?"-she says in a sleepy voice.
It then clicked to me that it was still around 06h00 in the morning.
"Azania"-I utter after clearing my throat.
"Huh... Who's this?"-she asks. The next thing I hear is shuffling. "Rendani?"
"It's me."
"What do you want?"
Woah. Mean bitch.

"I want us to talk."-I say rolling my eyes.
"Talk? At this time? You must be joking."
"Can we talk later then?"
"I don't think so."-her.
"Please Azania it's important."
"Is it? Cause I honestly have plans for today and I doubt I'll have the time to attend to your call."-she
says and I heave out a sigh.
"Okay cool... I'll try you on another day then. When you're eventually free."-me.
"Whatever bye."-she actually hangs up on me.
The nerve!
I get out of bed and quickly make it before going to brush my teeth. After brushing them I head to the
kitchen where I find Ghana putting the final touches to the breakfast he had prepared.
"Well there goes that. This was supposed to be breakfast in bed."-he says.
"Are you suggesting I go back to bed?"-I ask still a little irritated by the phone call I made to Azania.
Ghana notices.
"Why you looking so down?"-him.
"Your stupid plan has me looking down."
"What did she say?"
"A whole lot of garbage. The lowlife even had the audacity to hang up on me mzuzu I called her."-I
complain.
"Baby..."
"Relax I didn't tell her that because of this crazy idea of yours."
"That's my girl."-he beams and kisses my forehead. "Just keep playing this right and in the end this will
do us good."
"This is crazy but for you I'd literally kill."-I say truthfully. Now I saw that I still love Ghana deeply. Even
when we weren't together my heart yarned for him madly.
After breakfast we went to bath and spent the whole day watching chick flicks. That was my favourite.
The weather was just right too. A little gloomy.
"Does Azania have any family out there?"-Ghana asks.
That was random.
I look at him.
"Uhmm...not really unless you consider the only dead friend she had as family."-me.
"I see... but I mean alive family."
I frown trying to remember anything that girl told me once.

"I think her father is still alive but he's in jail."
"Name?"
I shrug. "Something Mnguni... I honestly don't know."
He nods.
This was not a conversation I was expecting honestly. I just hope whatever reason he's asking me all of
this is because he has a solid plan on how to completely get out of harms way.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Xavier's POV.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"-I asked wiping the sweat off my forehead.
"Like what?"-she asks. I help her up.
"Nevermind."
This woman is up to something. I know she is. "You joining me for my shower?"-me. She briefly looks at
me before uttering a "Nope. You go ahead."
I nod and just before turning to walk into the bathroom I see her bending over at Xander's crib.
That bend...in those leggings she wore...fuck.
6 more months right? Just 1 2 3 4...yeah this is not going to end well.
"Did you forget something?"-she asks peeking over making me snap out of my sinister daydreaming fest.
"Huh?"
"Did you forget something?"-she repeats.
"Uh... no... I was just admiring the wall."-I say.

Wow even I found that stupid. I quickly disappear into the bathroom and shut the door. Crap. I have to
get out of here.
I step into the shower. A cold one for that matter since my third leg here decided to bring himself to life.
After my long shower I step out and dry my body. She walks in. She looks at me. She gives me the exact
look she gave me this morning after our exercise session.
"Oh... you're done?"-she asks.
"Yes."-I say before wrapping a towel around my waist.
"Cool."-she moves to the sink to brush her teeth. I do the same. I leave the bathroom as soon as I finish.
It was about time.
I soon hear the water running.

I get dressed in the clothes she put out for me. A suit tie socks a shirt and chinos. I swear. She even
picked out a to match this whole outfit.
I'm in the kitchen grabbing a pear and my protein shake when My woman comes running downstairs still
wrapped in a towel. "Wait!"-her.
She literally jumps on me and wraps herself around me.
"Woah... What's thi-..."-she cuts me off with a smooch. I don't even know when I put down the shake
and pear but I did.
I held her up while allowing my mouth to explore hers.
She moaned subtly and after what felt like seconds later she broke the kiss.
I'm drunk.
Is this what thirst feels like?
When I open my eyes I find her smirking.

"So you were just going to leave this house without giving me a kiss?"-she asks. I shake my head that
isn't thinking straight right now.
"Are...are you even wearing panties?"-me.
She gives me a duh look.
This woman is testing me isn't she?!
"I think you're going to be late Mr."-her.
"And whose fault will that be?"
"Your own obviously. Now put me down."-her. I do.
The moment I'm out of that house I take a sharp breath of air before rushing to my car. If I delayed any
more I'd surely be late...
---
"Good morning Mr King."-Daniel greeted me before placing a pile of papers on my desk.
"Hey Daniel. What's this?"-I ask.
"Sir you asked me to get you some research on C++ and HTML."-he says.
"Ohh okay. Sorry about that."
"It's fine sir should I read your diary for you? It's not as hectic as yesterday's"
"Go ahead."
"You have a meeting at 11h30 with Mr Kanna. At 12h45 you asked Mike to join you for a discussion for
the new codes you found. And lastly your wife says she loves you."
"My wife?"
"Yes. She called earlier before you got here."-Daniel says.
Well... There goes that whole 'I'm not thinking of that woman while here at work' mantra. I give Daniel a
small smile and ask him to make sure to organise some lunch for Mike and I.
He leaves.
*I love you more.*-I text my queen.
*So your PA uyathumeka after all.*
*Uyathumeka?*-me.
*It means he's send-able babe sometimes I forget you don't speak isiNdebele fluently... Like me.*-she
texts me back.
I chuckle a little thinking of how differently the world looks at us and how we just don't seem to notice it
anymore.
*Spencer I have to go. Pappa loves you. Greet and kiss my boy for me.*
*Will do.*-she sends hearts and a blushing emoji with that.
---
The clock strikes 14h30 and the meeting with Mike finally came to an end. I sit back and he does the
same.
Is this guy thinking of staying?
Not when I had to endure more then an hour's worth of speaking and mindcracking codes...and a stupid
erection.
Curse Azania for this!
All the while I could see the look she was giving me this morning. That look was not just any look... She
was definitely up to something.
"So bro-man when are we going out for beers? It's been almost a year man."
"Beers? Man you know My son is still young and needs my care right?"
"Just one beer man."
"And that's how peer pressure starts. Man I'd rather drink at home."-I say and adjust my pants.
Think of something awful Xavier...
That's it...
"Fine then. A braai at your place."
"What? No way."
Strangers plus Azania equals to a crazy night. I'd never know what to expect from that woman honestly.
"Come on bra. It'll just be me and my girl Kevin and his girl and probably Tim and his wife. Nothing major
we just braai and meet the soon-to-be wife and your son."-Mike says.
I chuckle. "As long as you won't expect me to buy anything I'm sure I can convince my queen to allow
this shenanigans."
"My bro-man. That's what I'm talking about."-he says getting up.
Good he's leaving.
"It's been a fruitful talk. See you around."-we fist bump and he grabs his files and leaves.
This has to be the worst of all days. I get up and stretch. A few more hours and hopefully I'll be out of
here.
A message comes through as I was busy reading a page in the research Daniel bought me.
Some tangible stuff.

A message picture.
Damn it's 17h59.
Basically 18h00 and me being me I'd still stay here 30 more minutes to finish off my work...but not
today...
Not after I viewed what I just viewed. How could Azania do this to me. This picture surely can't be legal
in any parts of this world.
Is that...Oh hell no.
*Come home... You seriously want to wait another 6 months?*-A text from her follows and I knew for
sure that that look she gave me in the morning wasn't just for show.
I'm on my feet packing up a few of the papers on my desk and shove then into my laptop bag. Next thing
I grab is my suit and car keys before exiting my office. Every question I get is answered with a "no time
to explain" or "we'll talk."
*Fuck no. I'm coming home keep that cunt wet for me.*-I text her the moment I'm in my car.
*Oh my fucking God.*-she replies and goes offline.
I needed to hear her say those exact words into my ear while I pounded her hard...
Damn. How is there even so much traffic at this time of the evening?
Why is the robot not turning green!
Why is this idiot in front of me driving so slow!

I'm a speeding maniac and I think I make it home in record time. The lights are still on. I only grab my
phone and my keys lock up the car and rush inside.
"Baby... I'm home!"-I close the door behind me and lock.
I get no response instead I hear her high heels clicking on the floor.
Where is she...oh fuck. There she is at the top of the stairs with that look. The same one from this
morning only with it now I had the full package. I loosen my tie and eagerly make my way up the stairs.
She just stood there waiting. Looking sexy as ever in her red lingerie set. I want to rip that off. I need to
rip that off.
No words are needed so I say none. I push her against the nearest wall and kiss her as hard and as deep
as I'm going to fuck her.
My left hand finds it's way between her thighs and I gasp into her mouth when I feel how wet she is.
Fuck.
I need to taste this.
I drop to my knees and spread her majestic legs apart move the lace cutout to one side and diving
straight to her clit. It's swollen for me and I kiss it before sucking at it. I move my tongue down her slit
coating it in her sweet juices and slide it as deep into her as I can.
She lifts up her right leg and puts it on my left shoulder as I return my mouth to her clit. Her panting and
whimpering keeping me hard in my chinos. Fuck.
I need her cunt to be heavy on top of my and so I grab her left thigh and guide her left leg over my right
shoulder and with my hands underneath that sweet ass of hers I lift her up the wall slightly.
I tilt my head further back and the action results in her entire body to downwards on me feeding my
hungry mouth with her pussy. I feel her hands on my hair as she begged me not to stop.
Fuck she's so damn close to cumming.

Why have I not eaten her like this before? It's so sexy passionate and forceful.
"Xae...oh baby yes. Oh. Shit. Oh Godddd!"-she exclaimed. That's it. Yes. I think this is a new favorite
thing I'm adding to the list. Her juices overflow onto my face as she let go.
Shit. I need to come inside of her right now.
I stand up and kiss her lips allowing her to taste her sweet self while I undo my belt. She takes off my
suit letting it fall to the floor. I don't have the time to get undressed fully but that can wait for later in
the evening.
I have unzipped my trousers and released my hard cock from my underwear. I'm holding it as she quickly
removes her undies.
I guide it to that wet heaven of hers.

She lifts one of her legs in preparation. I place the tip of my cock into her soaked cunt and slam myself
entirely into her.
She holds my face as she gasped.
I'm looking at her.
Her eyes shut.
"You okay?"-I whisper. She nods and leans forward kissing me again before demanding something that
made my blood flow even more I even thought I'd faint.
"Fuck me."
That's all she said. That's all she needed to say. So I do. I fuck her. My cock racing in and out of her
sensitive spot as my heavy body pressed her against the wall.
She's moaning again.
A feminine high pitched moaning as I grunted into her mouth. Kissing. We never stop kissing.
Fuck. I need to cum and she can sense it to. I'm a walking hazard right now. Her pulsating pussy is going
to milk me dry. I need this. I need to cum.
"Arghhhh!"-I grunt as I cum inside showing her that she's mine. I'm holding myself inside of her.
My cock is even twitching.
Is that the word?
I think it is.
I've emptied my soul here and it's satisfying. When I open my eyes I find her looking at me and she
blushes looking away.
Wait is she being shy with me right now?
"Aren't you going to look at me?"-I ask. She doesn't answer yet but instead buries her face on my neck.
"No you're making me shy."
I chuckle. "I'm making you shy? That's a first."
"And you ruined my plan. We weren't supposed to do it here."
"Well I've needed that the whole day. I didn't even have time to head to wherever."
She giggles still on my shoulder. "Xavier."
"Mhnnn?"
"I... don't think I can move. Please carry me to bed and bring me some of the leftover lasagne."
I lightly shake my head as she moved from me allowing me to put my underwear on. I lift my queen and
take her to the bedroom before going to fetch the lasagne.
Call me smitten cause I was.
Damn.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
35
Chapter 35
♡
♡
Sheesh.
How can one person be this obsessed with one mere man like this and not want anyone else. I mean
look at me now I'm snuggled up next to him skin to skin like my life depended on it.
Last night...well let's just say I have no regrets.
I propped my body up with my elbow before I found myself looking at him. He snored away peacefully.
This was my chance to irritate him.
My fingertips reach for his cheek sliding gently down past his neatly trimmed stubble. My thumb rubs on
his bottom lip.
He twitches and I freeze. He's not awake. Good. I move down and attempt on tracing on the minor scar
on his chest but my hand is caught. My eyes dart off to his face. He smiles and opens his eyes.
"Morning."-he states and kisses the back of the hand he caught.
"Morning."-I reply. "I thought I'd wake up and not find you here."
He quickly sits up clearly remembering what I'm talking about.
"What time is it?"
I shrug. "Whatever time it is just know you're already late."
"Crap I guess I'll be calling Daniel. This is your fault woman."-he says and looks down at me.
"My fault? Did I say you should oversleep?
"You didn't have to."-he sulks and places my hand that is in his hold on his chest. "feel that baby. That's
my broken heart that needs fixing."
"Fixing?"
"Yes."-him.
"Do I look like a surgeon Xavier?"-I ask dryly.
"No...but you do look like...a meal."
"A meal? baby no that's so cheesy."-I retrieve my hand from his hold and roll off the bed.
"Come back here."

"I want to go fetch my son so you better get up too."-I state and pull the covers off the bed.
"We are supposed to take advantage of this moment we have alone."-he stated.
"Xavier get up."
"Come give me a kiss first."
"Not going to happen."-me.
"Why not."
"Morning breath duh."
"Okay fine then just a peck."-he gets up off the bed.
"Just a peck?"-me.
"Yes baby just a peck now come on."-he motions to me with his fingers. The mischievous look and smile
on his face makes me not trust him at all.
But I make my way to him nonetheless.
Once in front of him he grabs me quickly and pulls me close to him. With one hand firmly on my waist
the other travels up cupping my boob. "This is not what you called me here for."-I pout biting in the
insides of my cheeks gently. I really have to stop doing that.
"Are you fighting me off?"-he asks.

"Not even the slightest."
I hook my fingers on the band of his underwear and pull him closer to me making us too close. He leans
in and I thought he was going for the lips but he infact goes for my neck. Sucking and nibbling on it while
squeezing my breasts.
My hands move to the back of his head allowing my fingers to play through his hair. He lifts me up and
in the midst of things puts me on the bed.
Looking deep into his eyes I spread my legs for him.
"You want this baby?"
"Yes..."
"I want you too baby."-he groaned wasting my time and testing my patience.
"Xav-..."-he shuts me up with a peck. A deep one for that matter reeling me deeper into his pit of
seduction. I feel him rubbing on my entrance before entering...slowly as if testing the grounds. He
breaks the peck causing me to open my eyes.
"So wet."-Him. I chuckle.
"Don't slip."
He chuckles too and begins stroking slowly...
---
It's 12h03. A few hours after a great start to both our days I'm dressed in a pair of boyfriend jeans a long
sleeved black t-shirt and a pair of Vans kicks.
Xavier being the adult 28 year old that he is decided to dress exactly like me and his reason was that we
looked cute when we matched.
I did however love how the t-shirt he wore clung so effortlessly on his body highlighting it. I decide on
my long black weave and minimal make up with a red lip. I even managed to do that in maximum speed.
Xavier called his mom earlier on to ask her to keep Logan with her for a few more hours too so that we
could go out and enjoy yourself. I wanted to fight that idea off since I missed my son like crazy but
concluded that I needed this. We needed this.
"You ready to go?"-Xavier asks me grabbing his keys from the bed.
"Yeah..."-I quickly glance at myself on the mirror before remembering something crucial. The pill. I rush
to my side of the bed to my bedside table taking them out from the top drawer. I take two before
turning to find Xavier watching me with an attentive look.
"First it's a stripping pole in our closet and now it's pills? What are those even for?"-him. I glance at the
pills in my palm and look back at him.
"Don't worry yourself."-I rush to the bathroom for some water.
I know he's going to go to that container and act as if he's never seen anyone use them.
"Are these morning after pills?"-he asked box in hand.
See.
"I think you can read perfectly fine Xavier."-I dry my hands quickly with a towel.
"Don't you think we need to talk about such before it's done?"
"What do you mean? You want us to talk about me taking morning after pills just so that I can avoid
getting pregnant?"-me.
He's quiet and I'm sure he's pissed which I personally don't get. "Xavier were not making another us
anytime soon. We still need to focus on raising and loving Logan before giving him a sibling. Besides I'm
not ready yet. Infact I don't think we're both ready for another baby. I'm still a work in progress I still
have therapy to finish a business to set up and you to take c-..."
"Woah...okay okay. I get you. I just felt like you should've inform me about this."
I sigh and make my way to him before taking the box from him.
"I'm sorry. Now can we stop fighting and go have some fun?"-me.
He forces a smile. This should really not mess up our day or plans cause I honestly don't want to be
walking around with a sour Xavier. A sour Xavier is not funny or even talkative.
"Let's go."-he mumbles takes back the box and goes off to the bedroom to put it away. I sigh before
making my way out of here grabbing my clutch bag and phone.
I find him downstairs.
"Why are you still sulking kanti? I thought you understood."
"I do understand... It's just my brain now that's working against me."
I roll my eyes and we make our way out of here.
We're listening to radio as we drove to the mall.
"Babe."
"Sugar."-I respond and look at him.
"Mike a friend of mine wants to have a braai..."

"Okay good for him."
"...at our place."-he finishes off. I frown.
"I'm hoping you said no."
"I actually said yes."-him. He quickly glance at me as if to see my facial expression before focusing back
on the road.
"You have to be shitting on me honestly. You are going to allow strangers into our house?"
"They aren't strangers baby they're my friends."
"Xavier if they were your friends don't you think I'd know them by now?"
"That's not the point Azi."
"What's the point then?"-me.
"The point is that I want them over because we haven't really gotten a chance to chill as Broski's."
"Is that my fault? That you haven't gotten a chance to 'chill' with your Broski's?"-me.
"Yes it is."-he says and I open my mouth to say something but decide against it. "Babe I'm not saying this
in a bad way okay. I enjoy spending my time with you and Xander. I wouldn't have it any other way
believe me but I just want to do this to get them off my back. It's just going to be a small braai with six
guests music meat salads booze and pap.
"That doesn't sound small anymore."-me.
"Baby trust me it'll be fun"
"And I don't have to pretend to like them right."
He quickly glanced at me again before chuckling. "I want you to be friendly Azania. They aren't that bad
believe me. You'll like them."-he says.
"When is this happening?"-I asked already thinking of all the prep I had to do. All the cleaning too. Wait
do I have to prepare the salads?
Shit no.
They can have my salads if they want early death.

"I'll ask Mike when and then tell you."-Him.
"Why are you asking another man when to braai when they're braaing at our place?"-I ask.
"Because of the..."-he trails off.
"Wow."-I proclaim and lay back on my seat before closing my eyes. A braai? In this changing weather?
Men.
Minutes later we're parked by the mall's parking lot. Xavier gets out and rushes to my side to open my
door. "You didn't have to do that I'm very capable."
"I know that. But I want to open your door baby."-he says.
"Well would you look at this gentleman right here."-I say squeezing his chin with my thumb and index
finger.
"Your going to make me blush in public."
"That would be cute."

He quickly rolls his eyes and moves me to close my door. After successfully locking the doors he takes
my hand and entwines our fingers before walking in.
"Where are we going?"-me.
"Why are you asking me that now?"
"Because I want to know if we could squeeze in some clothes shopping. I need new clothes...and paint.
And our son needs more clothes. You need more clothes."
"Basically we all need new clothes?"
"Yes."-I beam plastering a huge smile on my face.
"Not happening."
My face drops.
"Excuse me what?"-I halt.
"I said that's not happening."

"Fine. I'll go shopping using my money then."-I state and try to free myself from his hold but he instead
holds it tighter. I knew he wouldn't like me using my money especially since he said I should use each
cent I make for my business. That business -which I have no idea what it'll consist of- still needs to be
planned and drafted before I can go further.
"You are not doing such... Fine we'll go shopping first then."-him.
"Ha! Thank you. Now we definitely have to hit Edg-..."
"I'm not listening to you until you give me a kiss."-he cuts me off.
Wow. We're still not so far from the entrance of this mall and already we had a quarrel. Now he wants a
kiss and I could see he was serious. Too serious.
"We're in public Xavier."-I try brushing him off but the dude just pulls me closer to him with a smirk on
his face.
"I don't care about these losers."-him.

Sheesh.
I allow myself to be trapped in this our bubble or whatever you want to call it. Public affection...well
damn. I blocked his lips with my hand as he was leaning in.
"There is no way in hell I'm kiss-..."
"Oh...my...goshlings! Azania?!"-Someone disturbs our peace. I don't recognize the voice and when I turn
to the stranger I knew that I didn't recognize his face either. "Bitch! It really is you! Oh my goshlings
touch my blood! "-him.
Somewhere during this strange encounter I let go of Xavier and allowed this stranger to hug me. I was
stiff though. Clueless and trying hard to remember him. I probably fucked him once upon a time...
Nah.
Can't be.
I remember my clients. All of them.
He holds me at arms length inspecting me closely. "You look amazing you're even glowing. Look at you!
It's been years."
"I'm sorry but you are?"
He gasps dramatically. One hand on his chest. Oh he's married?
"I'm offended honestly but I'll tell you anyway. Don't you remember me? Attention seeking Athenkosi?
From highschool."-him.
Highschool?!
I shake my head.
"We were like in the same math class Azania I used to sit behind you most of the time too in other
classes. Untill you left."-him.
Wait a minute.
"Athenkosi as in Mr Chubby-chubbs?"-me.
He dramatically rolls his eyes before answering. "Yes. But I'm not fat anymore so please kill that name.
Dead. Gone. History. Let it never ever come across your mind. Ever!"-him.
I snort nodding thinking of how he's changed really. Him and I rarely talked it would only be by mistake
or just by force. Back then he also wasn't this loud or anything which surprises me a lot now.
"Amen. Now Azay gimme your digits. I'm not going to give you mine since you definitely look like the
type that don't call back."
Woah. We haven't even seen each other in years but he already thinks he knows me?
Well I'm not saying he's wrong or anything but... Sheesh.
I give him my number nonetheless and he saves them before dialing them. Sigh.
"Great it really is your number save my numbers. We have so much catching up to do."
No we don't.
Xavier clears his throat. "I'll make sure she's calls Athenkosi."
Athenkosi turns his head to face Xavier as if he just noticed his presence. "You are?"
"The Fiance Xavier."
"Mhnnn...I like."-he shakes Xavier's hand. "we most def need to talk about him too."
I just force a smile trying to keep up with his energy.

"Totally."-I blurt out.
Great.
"I can't wait. Anyway lemme love and leave you two fly people. My husband is probably frustrated with
me. Bye."-he says and rushes off past us to a man carrying all the bags which surely belonged to
Athenkosi.
"Bye."-Xavier and I mumbled.
"Wow."-me.
"That was something else but I like him for you babe. He looks like a good friend."
"You're only saying this cause he's into men right?"-I turn to walk.
"Yes."-he hugs me from behind arms resting on my neck. "I can rest assured that he won't be trying to
poke his stick in my girl."-I chuckle. He kisses my cheek.
"Argh. You're stupid."
---
Hours later we find ourselves sitting at some restaurant waiting for our food to arrive. The shopping I did
had me grinning from ear to ear. There's this outfit I can't wait to put on my little King. I missed him.
"Did I tell you about the call I got from Rendani on Thursday?"-me.
"She actually called you? After so many months?"
"Mhnnn. I was just as shocked."
"What did she say?"-Xavier asks. Our waiter finally brings our food.
"Something about we need to talk. I think I already know what she wants to talk about though."
"Her pregnancy?"
"And Ghana."
Wow. My fiance and I are gossiping.
Are we?
"I doubt she'll tell you about that babe infact I doubt she'd want you to know anything about him.
They're probably being malicious together."-he chuckles cutting his steak.
"Could be true but I'll try talking to her. But I'm not being her friend or anything like that. I don't need
her."
---
"Azay we have to meet up for drinks this week."-Athenkosi says. He called me immediately when we got
home even though I'm alone now since Xavier went to fetch our baby. Liv decided to stay with Suzanné
for a while longer.
"Maybe next week."
Or the week after next week.
"Oh my goshlings you're such bore."-Him.
"Ouch sheesh. I'm sorry."-I chuckle away.

"Seriously. Okay I'll come to your house when you're free then with some wine and shit and we talk."
Well Athenkosi forget the fact I have to paint my ass off and sell those paintings to make some money
these up and coming days. And my son needs my watchful eye. And we still had a braai to prepare for.
Why are so many things happening now?
"You know what...cool. We can try this out."-me.
"Great! We'll talk. Bye."-he says and ends the 26 minute long phone call.
I was busy judging Xavier about the fact that he's bringing absolute strangers into our house and here I
am doing the exact same.
I sigh putting my phone down and continue cleaning. It's past 18h00 but hey why not. I made a mental
note to take Xavier's suits you the dry cleaners sometime tomorrow.
--------------------------------------------------------------
It's been two weeks. A busy two weeks too might I add.
I sip on my wine as I laugh off what my newfound friend says. He's fun. Something new in my life.
This was his second visit.
"Don't laugh I genuinely told her that."-he says.
"Why not just leave the poor girl alone from the start?"
"Hai (no) she needed to learn a lesson. I had to show her homosexual people are very capable of
anything. Now she has a very good reason for hating us."-he says.
"But this story is supposed to be about how you met your Mr Right."-I take another sip of my wine.
"It is darli. Okay so I pull up out and zip up ready to go. She was furious and well I just didn't care. She
tells me 'I'll regret this' and I literally laughed and told her 'I'll be waiting for that regret'. Truthfully
speaking I still don't regret shit."-he sips and refills his wine.
I glance at Logan. Still asleep. He moves and I know he's going to wake up soon...but for now Athi and I
commence.
"Now. I'm done zipping my pants leaving miss homophobic behind. I open her door and boom the love
of my life is standing right across the road speaking to an elderly lady."
"Wow."
"Yep. The old lady was asking him for directions or something like that but yes I approached him."-Him.
"And then?"
"I managed to get his number. Called him and we went out on a couple of dates before we became
official. I thought I'd never meet someone who would understand me and tolerate all my bull."-he sighs
dramatically.
"Ncoooooooh..."-me.
"5 years down the drain we got married and haven't looked back since."
"So how many years have you been together?"
"Just 7 years."
"That's a lot."-me.
"How long have you been with that vanilla babe of yours kanti? Cause I see a ring on that finger."-him.
Well...
"We kinda had a one year anniversary thingy not so long ago."-I share. We didn't do jack though and I
was completely fine with that.
"So basically not that long."
I nod.
"Y'all's met?"
"We met while I was jogging funny enough. He was a sweetheart from the get go and I was not taken at
first sight. I think I was even irritated. But... He was a breath of fresh air honestly."-I know I always say
this but it's true. "It took him weeks to tell me he loved me and kiss me at the most awkward of times."
"I can only imagine."-he chuckles.
"Yeah hey. I think I only saw that he was the one when he stuck to me like glue when I was pregnant.
And like you he tolerated my bull and didn't leave me when I was being stupid...or irritating and
irrational...and... Just plain too much."-I find myself smiling and thinking of how hard he's working right
now and I'm busy speaking about him like this.
"Wow. Wow. I'm just speechless now."-him. "A toast... To our love lives."-he raises his glass.
So do I.
"To them."-me. Our glasses click.
I was about to say something when a call comes through on my phone. "Yes?"
"Ma'am there's a man here who wants to see you."
I frown. "who?"
"He refused to inform us ma'am. He does however say he knows you."

"O...Kay...is he armed?"-I ask.
"No ma'am."-the guard answered.
I get up from the cushion I was sitting on putting my wine glass and paint one side.
"Sure. Let him in then."-I hang up wondering who the heck is at my gate.
"Haibo Azay? What's up?"
"There's someone who wants to see me apparently."
I'm at the door. My curiosity on another level. I open the door my eyes already set on the gate that
opened and made way for my visitor. Indeed a man whom I didn't recognize. He thanked the guard who
gave him his bag again before turning to look our way.
I froze.
The air getting knocked out of my lungs completely as I come face to face with him again. The man who
robbed me of my innocence and everything else. Tears tickle their way down my cheeks before I could
even stop them.
No I'm probably dreaming. It can't be Victor. The same man who's supposed to rot in jail.
"Who's he?"-Athe whispers next to me. I'm guessing he's not seeing my face. Good. I secretly wipe away
my tears.
I hear a cry from far.
"Azay your Bab..."-he drifts off.
Victor stands and the end of the Veranda putting the bag in his hand down.
I'm shaking. I'm confused. I want to know how why and when. I want to stab him to death chop his
corpse up limb by limb and ship them to different parts of the world while keeping his torso and head. I
want to chop off his manhood and set it alight before feeding the ashes to him.
But instead I remained there frozen.
"Wow."-he breathes out. "... You... You've grown."
Grown!
Zimu!
Someone shut that baby up!
"You live in a mansion Azania. Are you ma-..."
"Shut up! Shut up...SHUT UP!"-I cut him off. "GET OUT OF HERE! GUARDS TAKE THIS PIECE OF TRASH
OUT OF HERE!"-Thats all I say. All I really can say. He has his bag in his hold again.
"Wait we need to talk."
Talk?
Talk!
Talk.
I watch as the guards came and escort him out of here. I don't think I need to tell them that he should
stay out.
"Azay... I'll... call your man."-Athenkosi says from somewhere in this house.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
36
Chapter 36
Xavier's POV.
"What?"
"Get your vanilla ass here! Now."-Athenkosi says firmly. I'm already on my feet. Panicking.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't think I can explain any of this over the phone so just get here. Fast!"-he hangs up.
I frown trying to think of anything that could require my early return from work. I come up with nothing
but even more panic and paranoia.
"Daniel. I have to go my wife needs me."-me.
"But sir-..."
"Look just postpone everything. Tell Glenda this is an emergency."-I narrate and hope he gets the
message across because I knew she was in a meeting.
I'm in my car seconds later. Laptopbag and tie on the passenger seat.
I try calling Azania countless times but she doesn't answer. I try Athi and the same thing happens. Fuck. I
don't like this. I don't like it when she doesn't answer my calls.
A little bit of relief creeps up on me when I drive in past the guards at the gate and park next to
Athenkosi's car.
I'm out with only my keys and phone.
The moment I open the door I'm hit by the foul and dim mood in here. Scanning the whole lounge area
my eyes find her hogging a couch. Athi is busy hushing a sleeping Xander the best he can.
"Oh thank goodness!"-Athi sighs out in relief before going to put Xander down.
Why am I still standing at the door?
I make my way to them my heart beating fast. My palms sweating like crazy.
I don't like this feeling.
"I came as soon as I could."-I utter sitting next to Azania.

I take her hand into mine but she still doesn't look at me. Her focus is somewhere else but not here. Not
on this Earth. She even looks...pale and lifeless from where I'm seated.
I repeat. I don't like this.
"She's been like that ever since that old man left here."-Athi brings me out of my thought.
"O...old man? What old man?"-me.
He shrugs still looking worried.
"He came here with a bag and she freaked out. She...yelled at him Vani... I mean Xavier and it wasn't just
any sort of yelling. She was livid if not anything else."-he tells me.
I'm frowning to myself as I try to imagine an old man who Azania doesn't want here. Nothing comes up
yet but I'll be having a little chat with the men I call 'protection' outside.
"Thank you Athi you can go. I'll take it from here."-I say to him and he nods taking his clutch bag and
walks out of here after saying goodbye.
I'm left with this quiet house and tons of questions I had no answers to.
"Baby..."-I call out. Nothing. No turn. No flinch. Nothing. "Baby."-I try again.
Still nothing...
I get up and go kneel in front of her hoping I'd catch her attention then but still...it's like she looked right
past me.
This is scary.
I've never had her do this to me before. Ever.

"Baby can I get you something? Anything at all?"-me. It's like I'm taking to a wall.
I heave out a sigh before getting up from the ground. I'm clueless. She won't talk to me and she won't
look at me.
I get my phone out and dial the guards. I needed answers.
They were here in record time too. I open the door for them and allow them in. I still have my eyes on
Azania every now and then but now I needed something to go on.
"What the fuck happened when I wasn't here?"-I look at both these idiots I hired.
"Sir."
"Talk faster Moss!"-I snap. Again I'm looking over at Azania who gets up and without looking back she
walks upstarts in a pace only she understood.
"An old ma-..."
"I know that Moss. Give me something else. Something shocking."-I order after cutting him off.
Why am I being so rude towards someone who's never let me down? Okay I'm angry.
"I have his pictures sir."
He takes out a tablet.
Must be nice being a security guard...
He hands it to me. No. Who's he?
"His name?"
"We don't know sir."

I lift my eyebrows up. Wow. They're fired.
"Get out. Now!"-I scold them. They leave in a hurry without saying a word. My hand is on my forehead
as I think of the only old man I could think of that would make Azania this way.
No. Fuck no.
I turn back to the lounge. I get Logan from where Athenkosi put him and rush upstairs to our bedroom.
She's hogged in a corner. Knees close to her chest and the only thing I hear from her is sniffing.
"Zania. Baby. I'm here."-I put Logan in his cot and go to her. It's only now that I notice that she hasn't
even healed one bit. If she didn't stop with those sessions...maybe we would be somewhere else today. I
settle next to her putting my arm around her shoulders but she flinches.
How quick did she just get up from here.
Her eyes are wide and filled with warning and sadness. The mascara once neatly on her eyelashes was
now melting away on her cheeks.
"Azania."-me. I get up too. My heart clenched in pain. She didn't want me to touch her? Did she hate me
too now for this? This wasn't my Spencer. This was someone else.
She looks away sending even more daggers to my soul.
"I'll go make you some tea."-I say and frown at the thought of me even saying that. She hasn't even had
tea ever since Xander was born...but I can make her some camomile tea. Maybe get her to rest.
I'm busy pouring in the boiling water when I hear Logan cry.
Didn't he just fall asleep?
Anyway I add one teaspoon of sugar into the tea before mixing. He's still crying. "Azania!"-I yell. Usually
she'd yell 'I got him' back but today she didn't. I grab the cup of tea and make my journey upstairs again
careful not to spill any on the floor.
The moment I enter the room I'm met by a disturbing sight.
She's just...standing there by his cot watching him cry his lungs out. "Azania...can't you hear he's
crying?!"-I half shout putting the cup on the table next to me.
I pick Xander up who's been crying for ages and kiss his tears away. We rarely let him cry to that point.
"Are you okay my boy? I'm sorry okay. I'm here. Daddy is here."-I hush him.
Inside I'm trying so hard not to be pissed with Azania but there's a piece in me that makes me want to
tell her to snap out of it.
I turn to her and she's still standing next to me looking at the two of us like she's never seen us before. I
shake my head. This is beyond me. With Xander in my hold I go fetch my phone and search for her
number.
Wow.
"Kat."
"Mr King. I haven't heard from you for a while now. How are you? I do hope everything is going fine."
I heave out a sigh walking to the kitchen.
Purity.
"Everything is not going fine at all. I think My fiancee is losing it. She hasn't said a word since I came back
and I think it's because of her father returning."-I say managing to put Xander in his chair and strapping
him in.
"Eish...Mr King I'm still in Pretoria actually with family but tomorrow morning I can be there for her."-
her.
Sigh.
"Thank you."
"Keep an eye on her. Please."-her. I nod.

"I will. Take care."-I hang up and sigh again.
I have to keep an eye on her.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Patting on the side where Azania was sleeping in and not feeling her there brings me to an immediate
upright position.
"Where..."-I trail off and get out of bed rushing to the bathroom. She's not in here. Neither in the closet.
Where's Xander. Crap. I rush out of the room in panicmode. A week with this Azania has taught me a
couple of things.
One: she doesn't think.
Two: Xander is her enemy.

Her own son has been subjected to abuse and neglectence from Azania. I've been taking care of him the
whole week. Feeding him bathing him and clothing him. I even asked for two weeks off to be able to
make sure they're both fine. I've also been doing the same to her. Force Feeding her bathing her and
clothing her. I wish I could force her to sleep and talk to me though because those are the two things
she's determined on not doing.
Kat? Or rather Nkateko didn't even get a word in. Azania literally attacked her and didn't hesitate to
break her neck. As we speak I had to make sure Nkateko was fine since everything had to be taken care
of by me. And as far as hiring someone else no I didn't trust anyone.
Her father? That piece of trash lives with the betrayers.
"Az-..."-I stop my in my tracks when I see her holding him. Paint everywhere. I'm both scared and happy
because of this. This is the first time she holds him in this week. She looks up at me and I give her a small
smile but she doesn't return it.
God!!!
Why!
Can't she tell me she was joking about this whole thing cause honestly I was tired of this.
"I'm sorry."-her.
Huh?
I pause from taking Xander from her and again look at her. I couldn't have imagined that. I'm not going
crazy. I'm not. "Azi..."
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."-her.
"Sorry? For what?"-she hands him to me before getting up.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."-I put him by his chair and rush back to her. I'm a mad man honestly.
"Azania what are you sorry about? I forgive you."
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry."-she utters tears now streaming down her face.
Like a recorded message she kept on saying those two words.
Dull...yet firm.
Sigh.
"How about we watch a movie?"-I ask her after minutes of standing in the middle of the sitting room.
Her stare is blank but she moves from my hold and goes to sit on the couch.
Good.
This is some progress.
Before she wouldn't have followed an order like this. I ignore the fact that I just woke up and the first
thing I already suggested is that we watch a movie. A movie in a dirty lounge and a baby.
I make some popcorn and lightly salt it before making my way back. She's staring at a blank screen.
Sigh.
I pull Xander closer to us before settling down with the remote in my hand.
"What do you want to watch?"-me.
Double sigh.
"Maybe a little horror? Or comedy?"-me.
"I'm...sorry."-she frowns and lays on my lap.
Triple sigh.
"We'll settle with some comedy then."-I say and rent a movie on Box-office.
We watch in silence with me managing to laugh here and there
Sehranmagzine.com
tears now streaming down her face.
Like a recorded message she kept on saying those two words.
Dull...yet firm.
Sigh.
"How about we watch a movie?"-I ask her after minutes of standing in the middle of the sitting room.
Her stare is blank but she moves from my hold and goes to sit on the couch.
Good.
This is some progress.
Before she wouldn't have followed an order like this. I ignore the fact that I just woke up and the first
thing I already suggested is that we watch a movie. A movie in a dirty lounge and a baby.
I make some popcorn and lightly salt it before making my way back. She's staring at a blank screen.
Sigh.
I pull Xander closer to us before settling down with the remote in my hand.
"What do you want to watch?"-me.
Double sigh.
"Maybe a little horror? Or comedy?"-me.
"I'm...sorry."-she frowns and lays on my lap.
Triple sigh.
"We'll settle with some comedy then."-I say and rent a movie on Box-office.
We watch in silence with me managing to laugh here and there but nothing from Azania. It's when I
want to go fetch more popcorn when I notice she's fast asleep on my lap. Good. She needs the sleep.
I gently move her and place her head on the couch.

---
It's hours later and I'm done bathing Xander and myself. I fed him and managed to make a decent
breakfast for Azania and I. She's still asle...wait she's awake.
"Hey baby."-me. Xander turns to look at her and Instantly starts wanting her. She looks at him and walks
off to the bathroom. We follow suite with me trying to distract Xander.
She takes her clothes off and steps into the shower opening the shower tap. Okay maybe I should just
leave her to get to it.
"Boy your mommy will be fine okay."-I kiss his cheeks causing him to giggle while eating on his hand.
Such a sight.
---
"How is she?"-Suzanné asks. I look up to where she was sitting with Xander. She wasn't carrying him to
be exact but she was close to him.
"She's...okay. A little has changed honestly."
"Yeah? Like?"
"She spoke today. Even if she kept on repeating two words. "
"This is crazy. Maybe we should come see her..."
"Oh no. Not happening."
"Come on Xavier maybe us being around will do her good."
"I don't think so. She attacked our last visitor."
"That was a complete stranger we aren't strangers."-she says.
I haven't even allowed Athi here for her sake. Or rather his.
"Maybe later."-I check on my soup. Almost done.
"Can we take Xander then to lessen you responsibilities?"-her.
"But I want my son around... Atleast with him I get a few answers. Not in words though but atleast he's
talking. Now imagine if you take him from me... I'd be lonely."-me.
I remove the soup from the stove and switch off the stove.
"Fine but the offers always stands. I don't want my little brother to suffer because of this."
I smile
"I'll keep that in mind then. Look I have to go feed her. I'll call you."-I say and hang up after she says
goodbye.
I put my phone away and pour some soup into a bowl. I know I'll finish it anyway since she rarely eats.
"I made soup. Butternut soup."-I say sitting next to her.
"I'm going to feed you okay."-me. I take a spoon and manage to feed her half of it before she refuses.
She ate nonetheless and I'm impressed. I get up and head to the kitchen with the empty bowl. Once in
there I rinse it and as if I could sense it Xander starts crying.
But oddly it ain't just a normal warning cry or a give-me-attention cry. It was far more serious. I quickly
dry my hands and rush back to where I left them.
My face goes pale the moment I see my son on the floor. Did Aza-...wait where is she?
I rush to him pick him up and spend minutes calming him down. I'm regretting not allowing Suzanné
here to fetch him cause now he could've gotten seriously hurt.
This is too damn much now!
"Anné I'll bring him over."-I say immediately after she answers.
"What changed your mind so quickly?"-her.
"She dropped him."
"What? Is she mad? Why would sh-... Is he okay?"-she asks in panic.
"He's fine Anné. I'm just starting to worry now. I think it's time I Chuck my stupid I-don't-trust-anyone
theory out of the window and get her help."
"You need to do more than that I don't think I'd still continue marrying someone who purposefully hurts
my child!"-her.
"Anné. Watch it!"
"Oh you want her to kill him first before you realize I'm right?"
I hang up irritated by what she just said. How could she want me to leave Azania at this time of need
exactly?
I sigh frustrated. I need to take Xander to the hospital to make extra sure that he's 100% fine.
When I walk into our bedroom I don't find her.
I check the bathroom.
No!
No!
No!
"AZANIA!"
---
Today has to be one of my worst days ever. Not only am I sitting behind in an ambulance van clinging
onto my son for my own sake but I have to hope and pray that Azania doesn't die. I don't think I can take
that.
What would I even be without her?
"Lord... Please don't take her."-I whisper my prayer. We get to the hospital in record time and she's
wheeled out of here while I follow.
"Sir please stay here."-one doctor tells me making me halt in my tracks.

I go sit on a bench for a few minutes before realising that I bought none of Xander's things. No diaper.
Nothing. Today is really the worst. I get up and head to the reception lady after gathering all my
strength. "Evening sir. Can I help?"-her.
I nod.
"My son fell not so long ago and it was a hard fall."-I narrate simply after making sure not to mention
Azania.
"Goodness. Charlie!"-A guy comes into view.
"We need to run an..."
-------------------------------------------------------------
"Xavier... Xavier."-someone shakes me.

When did I dose off?
It's Anné and I don't like her facial expression. Actually I'm mad at her. "You look terrible."-her. I loosen
my hold a little from Xander before sitting up.
"Is she awake?"
"No. Not yet."-her. She sits next to me and rests her head on my shoulder.
"How'd you know I was here?"
"Your guards told me. Don't fire them."-her.
Sigh.
"I don't think I'll even have the energy to fire them."
"This is not healthy little brother. I thought you were joking when you said she's not herself but
now...now I know this is serious."
"I'm..."-I clear my throat feeling my eyes burn with unshed tears. "I'm scared."-I admit. "I don't want to
lose her. I don't want to lose Azania sis not to suicide... Not to a man she trusted."
"I also shouldn't have said what I said earlier. I was just angry."-her.
"Is that you apologising?"
"Yeah... Am I forgiven?"
"I'll see."-I chuckle.
"Azania King?"-A doctor catches my attention making me jump off the seat.
"Yes that's mine... I mean that's my wife. How is she? Is she awake?"-I bombard him with questions.
He's not answering quick enough.
"Im doctor Smith. Well sir we managed to draw some blood and pump out all the pills from her system."
"She drank pills?!"

"Anné please. Not now."-me.
"I can safely say she's out of harm's way. She needs lots of rest though."
"Can we see her?"-me.
It's 01h14 and I want to see my wife.
"Sir I'd suggest you go home and rest asw-..."
"Can we see her Dr?"-I interrupt him emphasising the question. He heaves out a sigh before nodding.
"But only for 15 minutes."
"That's all I need."-me. With Dr Smith's directions I do find her room. Anné is the one who opens the
door.
The beeping sound in here is irritating.

"I can hold him for you while you talk to her."-Anné says. Hesitantly I hand my boy over and make my
way to her side. "I'll give you a moment."
Anné walks out and closes the door behind her as I sit on the chair next to her bed. I take her hand and
gently brush on the knuckles.
Why am I suddenly so livid?
I want to shout at her for making such a stupid decision.
How could she do this to me?
To Xander?
To herself?
How could she be so damn selfish!
Why would she do this to herself again?
Didn't she satisfy that need once upon a time?
Didn't she want to be with me anymore?

My heart can't take that... It won't take that.
Would she actually be delighted if she did succeed?
Fuck.
I'd be planning a funeral right now. I'd be planning on burying the love of my life and attempt on being a
single father. So... Azania you'd only be a memory to our son? Our invader would only know you from
pictures and not more than that?
Seriously Azania! You want to mess up our lives like this by killing yourself?
You want me to hate myself?
Blame myself?
You want to be the headline news almost everywhere because of this?
Argh you want to be known for giving up?
Sigh.
"I love you. I love you more than anything else."-I'm defeated. "I'll see you later."-I get up look down at
her and lean in to kiss her forehead.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
37
Chapter 37
Xavier's POV.
The sun rises and I didn't even catch a Wink's worth of sleep.
How could I even begin to sleep when my other half is not beside me?
Other than that I kept on thinking of what had to be going through Azania's head when she took all
those pills. All 96 of them. And when did she even get the chance to drink all those pills...
My phone rings catching my attention. It's Olivia...and I don't want to talk. Well... Atleast not to her but I
answer anyway.
"Sis."-I clear my throat.
"Xavier. Did I wake you?"
"No not at all. Can I help you?"
"What's with the formalities?"
I sigh rubbing my itchy eyes.
"Please Liv. It's too early to be asking me why I'm acting some type of way."
"Fine."-she breathes out."I just wanted to hear about how Azania is doing. I know this mustn't be easy
on you especially since she did this to herself."
"She's fine."
"Just fine?"
Fuck really.
"Olivia what do you want me to say? That she's still laying in hospital fighting to wake up?"-I snap.
"No. I'm sorry. I just care Xavier and I know this is not easy on you or anyone else for that matter but you
shouldn't lash out on people like that for trying to care."
Okay I didn't think this conversation was going to go this way round in all honesty.
"Can I call you later? When I'm cool calm and collected?"
She sighs. "Fine. Just don't forget to shower eat and dress well before going to see Azania."
I chuckle. "I would've done those things regardless what do you take me for?"
"I know my brother. "-she's right I would've just taken a quick shower and wore something beyond
comfortable and then run off to the hospital. "I'll be waiting for your call then. Don't forget. I love you."-
her.
"I love you too sis."-I say and she hangs up.
Sigh.
07h10.
Is it too early to just rock up at the hospital right now or...?
I decide to make some breakfast. Just cereal and warm milk. I wanted them to be as soggy as possible
since I didn't really feel like chewing. Is that even going to help?
I eat away trying my best to finish it and luckily I succeed.
Before leaving I grab my phone car keys and wallet. Once in the car I start the engine and drive out of
here informing the guards not to utter even a single word about what happened here.
I make a quick stop at a florist to buy Azania some flowers. Sunflowers with roses. They made me think
of the last time I got her flowers.
Sigh.
After paying I leave heading to the hospital. My heart is even heavier than when I left the house.
A nurse allows me to go ahead to her room. "I can bring you a vase to put those in."-the nurse says.
"Thanks."-I say giving her a small smile. She nods and closes the door allowing the two of us some
privacy.
I go sit next to her bed and place the flowers on the bedside table before taking her hand into mine.
"Your hand is so cold."-I cup it. "I couldn't sleep last night my mind was working against me. Making me
over think things but I'm going to stay positive. For you. For us."
The door swings open. It's the nurse and... Rendani?
"Oh my word! I came as soon as I heard. How is she? Is she fine? Is she out of the danger zone?"-
Rendani bombards me.
I'm pretty sure my facial expression is not making sense.

Where did she hear this from?
Who told her?
"It must be pretty hard knowing that she tried to take her own life like that."-She grabs a chair and sits
next to me.
Is this thing being serious right now? I'm glad Azania told me about her two faced flat ass when she did. I
can play this game too if I have to.
"She's fine my Azania is a fighter. This was nothing but a setback."-I kiss the back of her now-warm hand.
"I feel terrible. Especially with the fact that I've been so distant and all that. It's just that this pregnancy
came as a shock and also not knowing who the baby daddy is..."-she sighs. "...I couldn't allow Azania to
endure this...this stress."
"So now you know who the father is?"-I ask watching her swallow hard.
"No."
Well there you have it folks. One of the worst people to ever befriend is sitting right next to me.
"It...it was a one night stand thing and I tried looking for him and... Long story short I've realized I don't
need him. I can do this on my own."-she says and I nod enthusiastically.
She must really think we're stupid.
The nurse leaves after putting the flowers into the vase with water. I'm pretty sure she's confused by
this whole dynamic.
"Anyway do you have an idea of who might have caused Azania to do this? You know...what triggered
this?"-her.
I shrug. She knows. I know she knows.
"Maybe someone came there when you weren't there."

"Oh? Like who?"-me.
She squirms under my gaze.
"Like...I don't know a biological family member or something."
"Azi doesn't have family."
"She does."-Rendani says quickly.
"Oh? Who?"
"Her father. He was in jail for a long time for what he did to her."-she says.
"Why'd she never tell me about this?"-I say sounding a little angrier.
I should get an award for this for the good acting I'm doing right now.
"How sure are you about this information?"-me.
"I'm very sure Xavier. I thought she'd tell you about him since you two are so close and are engaged and
soon going to be married and all that."she says and looks to Azania.
So these two really think we're not that tight? This also proves to me that they definitely had a hand in
this guy's release I just wish I knew how.
"I think I'll be having a word with her the moment she wakes up. I swear. Thank you Rendani."-I say
letting go of Azania hand and run a hand through my hair. She gets up with the biggest smile on her face
and bids me farewell before leaving.
I chuckle.
That just happened.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Rendani's POV.
YES!
Now that's how you do it. I quickly reach for my phone from the inside of my pocket and dial Ghana's
number. He answer on the first ring clearly really anticipating this call.
"Baby wanga."-me.
"I hope you have good news."-Him. I roll my eyes exiting the hospital.
"Obviously I have good news but I'll tell you now-now. I'm on my way home."-I get into the backseat of
the Uber that gladly waited for this pregnant lady.
"Oh I can't wait then."-he says and hangs up. I shake my head oblivious to the fact that he hung up on
me. It kind of hurt actually.
The driver manages to get me back to our apartment in record time.
I'm lying he took his time preaching to me about how he shouldn't rush when he's driving a pregnant
madame. His words not mine.
"Thanks."-me.
"Anytime."-he says and drives off.
Inside I find that old hag seated on my couch eating my food and watching my tv. "You better start
looking for a job and stop eating our food like that. My man works hard for those groceries."-me. He
looks at me apologetically almost making me feel sorry for his poor ass but I don't. I don't even get why
he's here
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couldn't Ghana take him somewhere else so we can breathe.
"Rendani no. Don't speak to him like that."-Ghana says walking into the tiny lounge we were in. I eye
him. How can he be wearing a vest on this coldish day and not be cold? "Bab'Mnguni don't mind my girl.
It's just the hormones..."-he says to him and then turns to me. "...wena follow me."
He makes his way to the kitchen ignoring the fact that I had crossed my arms in anger.
Sigh.
"So spill. What's the good news?"-he asks just the right question to bring me back to a celebratory
mood.
I turn heading to the cupboards and get two champagne glasses and a bottle of non alcoholic bubbly for
us. "I think you'll love this baby."-I pop open the bottle and pour us some. He watched me attentively
throughout this whole while.
I raise my glass. He does the same. "What is this thing I'm going to love?"-he asks eyebrows raises.
"Remember the people I hired to keep an eye on that low life and keep us informed about everything?"-
he nods. "Well... They called me this morning when you were at Nathi's place for that meeting. Guess
what they told me."-me.
He smiles shrugs and looks me deep in the eye.
"Just tell me already."-Him.
He's such a terrible sport. Even after so many years of knowing each other.
''Okay fine. Azania is in ICU."-his eyebrows drop and so does his smile.
"What?"-him.
"Yes the bitch swallowed pills trying to kill herself."-I narrate and he puts his glass down.
"You're shitting on me right?"-him.
"Uhmm...no why would I- actually why aren't you happy? What did you think was going to happen when
you set her rapist free like that huh? Were you expecting her to party and thank you for being such a
noble man?"-me.
He's honestly not reacting the way he should be and I'm not liking it.
"What do you mean she's in ICU? You mean she almost died?!"
"Duh look that's a good thing Ghana. Now she'll be out of our way and Nqoba and his stupid buddies
won't be after you seeking for your blood. We'll finally live happily and freely."-me.
He suddenly bangs his clenched fist hard on the counter giving me a fright. "That is not part of the
plan!"-he shouts through clenched teeth.
"But...this is better Baby."-I put my glass down.
He chuckles deeply before giving me a bone chilling look.
"You don't get it do you?!"-he points with his finger on my forehead.
"Get what exactly?"-me.
I don't get why he's saying this is a bad thing. It will be less baggage for us if she dies.
"Azania dying won't make Nqoba stop his hunt for our blood! Don't you think Xavier would want to
know who sent her father there to without him knowing where she lives now? They will trace back
everything until they find out who it is and bang! We're 6 feet under! Now tell me exactly how her death
is beneficial to us stupid?"-he continually poked on my forehead until I slapped off his hand.
"Stop it Ghana!"-me.
"For what Rendani? You've proven to me once again that you think with your ass and not with your
brain! You're busy popping cheap non alcoholic champagne to celebrate this stupidity?"-he sweeps the
whole lot off the counter landing it on the floor.
I bite on my bottom lip holding in my tears of hurt.
"I'm out. I need air. You're suffocating me. And when I come back this mess better be cleaned up. Nxa."-
he says taking out a cigarette and walks out after carefully avoiding the glass pieces on the floor.
The door shuts seconds later.

No. He's never been this angry and I don't like it... But he's right. I was too quick to celebrate this whole
thing without evaluating it and ensuring that it's okay to go wild with it.
"Are you okay?"-the old hag asks me standing at the entrance of the kitchen.
"Mxm. Mind your own business."-I get a broom and clean up the glassy mess.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Two days since I last saw Ghana. Remember when he walked out to smoke? Yeah he's been MIA since
then and I can't even begin to describe how I feel right now.
No I wasn't angry.
I was more worried actually.
I tried calling him the first time I noticed he wasn't outside anymore and discovered he left his phone
here. That alone made me even more alert.
"He'll be back."-Mr old hag says.
"You've been saying that for the past two days oldie and is my Ghana here? No he isn't. So I Rendani
suggest you shut the fuck up okay?"-me.
He raised his hands up in a sign of defeat.
Good. I could think more when his mouth was shut.
The door opens and in he walk dressed in a fresh pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. He even had a fresh
haircut and a new cologne on.
I'm hugging the life out of him seconds later thanking the almighty for his safe return.
"Don't you ever do that to me again Ghana. Do you know how worried I was?"-me.
"There was no need to be princess."-I let him go.

He didn't hug me back. He didn't need to.
"No need to be- where we're you Ghana? You leave here without saying a word and then come back
here in New clean clothes expecting me to be as cool as a cucumber?"-me.
"I was at my old apartment jeez relax. You're pregnant. You shouldn't be stressing."
"Then stop stressing me out Ghana. You could've told me atleast then to have me all worried here. I
even thought Nqoba had taken you."
"And that would've been all your fault right?"-Him. He walks past me.
"Bab'Mnguni."-he greet oldie.
"Ghana."-he returns it.
"Seriously Ghana."-I follow him. He's making his way to the bedroom I see. "I thought we'd be over this
by now."-me.
"Over this? No. Never."
"But you can't ke- entlek how was I supposed to know that Azania was going to be stupid enough to try
and kill herself? Was I supposed to smell it in the air and be like 'mhnnn it smells like she's about to
swallow 159 pills tonight huh?"-I ask.
It's when I finish that last question when I feel my left cheek burning in fresh pain. For a second my jaw
felt disconnected...but it's not. My hand tries to soothe my aching cheek.
"Did you just...slap...me?"-I can't even say it in one go. I can't even begin to think that he would do this
to me. The mother of his children.
"I'll do it again if you keep acting the way you do."
"But-..."
My thought is cut short when he grabs me by my braids and forces my head back. What is...this?
"Ghana...Ghana baby I'm sorry."-me. He pulls even harder.
"I think you should pay for this."
"Ghana baby please... I'll fix this just say what I should do and I'll do it."-me.
I am willing to fix this since I clearly made this whole thing an epic fail. I shouldn't have suggested we get
Azania father out of jail and hav-
He pulls my braids again and I hold onto his shoulders. "Ghana you're hurting me."-me.
"I know."-he says and let's me go pushing me onto the bed. Luckily I manage to balance with my one
hand and soothe my head with the other.
"I really am sorry about this Ghan-"
"Shhhh... don't. Say. Another. Word."-he emphasises each word to me before walking out just like that
shutting the door behind him.
I breathe out and sit properly on the bed. I'm happy he's back and he's safe but I should never ever
make him this angry. It's not good for both of us.
The opening door catches my attention again causing me to look at it. It's him and the old hag?
They walk in Ghana closes and locks the door and I'm on my feet. "And then? Why is he in here?"
"He's here for a little fun."-Ghana says walking towards me. He stands behind me taking my hand into
his and kisses the back of my neck.
"What...do you mean?"-I ask before he pulls on my braids again. This time it feels much more painful. It
feels much more...angrier and unremorseful. I manage to catch a glimpse of his face his eyes were filled
with anger.
"Ghana..."-I try fighting off his hand but nothing.
He groans. "Victor come...let's have some fun..."
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Azania's POV.
Bitter.
Not only is that how I feel but it's what I taste in my mouth. My whole body is aching and too stiff to be
considered comfortable. This headache too.
My eyes open meeting the unwelcoming light which makes me moan in displease.
"Baby...Azi..."-I hear his voice in the midst of that annoying beeping sound. I know it's Xavier. His voice is
so obvious. "baby please open your eyes."-he begs.
Again I attempt on opening them and succeed this time around but the light was still too bright. "I'll
close the blinds."-he says and let's go of my hand. I see him rushing over to the windows doing exactly
what he said he'd do.
That's better.
"I'll go call nurse Thandeka."
"Don't."-I manage to say and he looks at me with a confused look on his face.
"Don't?"
I nod before he sighs and makes his way to my side again. I clear my throat. "Let me get you some
water."-him.
He does and he helps me drink up.

"Want more?"-him. I shake my head.
"I'm fine."-me.
"Okay... Cool."-he puts the glass right next to the flowers.
"Sunflowers?"
"Oh... I uhmm got you those. You like them?"-he asks.
"I do."-me.
It goes quiet again. The only sound audible is the beeping of this machine. Sigh. With all my might I
move a little to the side allowing him some space on this hospital bed.
"Please."-I pat on the new empty spot next to me. He gives me a small smile before taking off his shoes
and getting on. Once he's comfortable enough I lay my head on his chest.
Oddly enough I missed this chest. It felt like I hadn't been on it in a while now and it's all my idiotic fault.
I shouldn't have done what I did honestly.
Silence.
I badly want to know what he's thinking about but it's obvious. He probably wants to leave me now and I
wouldn't blame him. I'm clearly fucked up.
Maybe I should break the silence.
"How... How long have I been here?"
"4 days."-he says without skipping a beat.
Sheesh.
Now the hardcore regret sinks in and hits home.

"I...was stupid for doing what I di-"
"No Azania please don't."
"Xavier I humiliated you again. I failed to keep my stuff together."
"You were not supposed to pretend as if you don't have feelings or whatever Azania. You're not made
out of steel. Your human and like any other human you have a history. It may not be a Rosy one but it's
still a history. You just help to deal with this bad history."
"B-but I shut you out. I allowed him to take control of my mind. I allowed him to play with my emotions.
I...I..."
Oh no. I think of Logan.
"Logan!"-I sit up putting my hands on my lap. They're shaking like crazy. "Logan...he- I was... was holding
him and th...no..."-I can't remember what happened after that.
"Baby Xander is fine...he didn't get a head injury trust me."-Xavier says putting his hands on my
shoulders.
"Head injury?"-me.
Zimu. What is Xavier saying to me.
"Did I hurt him?"-I couldn't have. Me? Hurting my own baby?
"Zania don't th-..."
"Did I or did I not hurt him Xavier?"-I ask and he keeps quiet.
Long enough to convince me that I did hurt Logan.
A sob escapes my mouth which I cover quickly. Tears roll down my cheeks.
"He's fine Azania..."
"That doesn't change the fact that I...I-..."
"No..."-he quickly pulls me to him again. "...You didn't hurt him."

He's lying. I know he's lying for the sake of my sanity but I just can't stop thinking of how I hurt my
one...and only son.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
38
Chapter 38
Rendani's POV.
I hug my myself as I allow the water from this cold shower to run down my body. The same body that
ached and begged for mercy and didn't seem to get it.
What just happened in that room?
No...it didn't happen. This is all just a big misunderstanding. A big mess.
Lutendo kicks and I quickly reach for the spot she kicked. I'm glad she's still fine. She was really the only
thing that I could think of when...when...
The shower door opens and Ghana stood there. I watched him get undressed and step into the shower. I
hadn't even noticed that I was hogging one corner of this shower until he stood closer to me and I
couldn't back up. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him.
"Look at me."-he demands and with most of my might I looked up.

His eyes were sharp and dark and really made me uncomfortable. "Wash my back."-he says and turns
around giving me his back. With shaky hands I reach for the his shower sponge and his shower gel.
I squirt some on it and start washing his back. His back acting like a canvas with the water slowly
washing off the foam. "I hope you're not thinking of what happened yesterday. Grow up."-him.
That stabs even deeper than any knife.
"When we're done here you go and make Victor and I some breakfast okay. A proper one for that
matter."
He can't be serious.
"Why aren't you answering?"
"Bec-... Ghana you can't expect me to make that man breakfast as if he didn't violate me."
"He violated you? Oh what a shocker. Didn't you say you'd do anything to correct this mess?"-him.
I swallow.
"I did."
"So? Why are you being so dramatic and childish?"-Him.
I keep my mouth shut and continue washing his back. He chuckles and turns to me taking the sponge
from me and washes the rest of his body.
After about 5 minutes longer in the shower I step my aching body out. I dry my body and look at myself
in the mirror. I looked terrible. Pale and eyes ringed with eye bags. I didn't like this sight in front of me
because I should've been a glowing mess right now...not this.
"Grow up Rendani. Ghana wouldn't like to see you like this."-I say to myself and sigh. Grabbing the
toothbrush and toothpaste I brush my teeth before heading out with a towel wrapped around my body.
There are clothes laid out for me on the bed and a pair of sandals but no Ghana in sight. Deep down I
was thankful for that. I hear laughter coming from some other part of this house.
I take a deep breath before leaving this room. They're sitting in the lounge enjoying a bottle of beer
each. They haven't even eaten but they're already drinking.
"Ah...Rendy you're finally done. Now you can go make us some food right?"-Ghana says. I look at him for
the longest time ever analysing him. They laugh again bringing me back to my senses. I turn to leave and
head to the kitchen.
"What?"-I snap answering my ringing phone.
"Ma'am we have new information."-the idiot informs me.
"I don't want to hear it."
"But ma'am..."
"Fine! Speak!"-I snap angrily. These are the same men who made me rejoice not so long ago and now
this...
"She's awake."-he says and I feel how my body eases up to the news.
"Awake?"-I ask in a lower tone.
"Yes ma'am."-I hang up putting my hands on the counter before breathing out.
I'm both relieved and pissed at the fact that that thing is awake. Finally gathering myself and my heavy
guts I continue making breakfast. When I finish making it I take it to them.
"Ya finally. Put it over here."-he points to the coffee table in front of them. Ignoring their gazes I put the
tray there. In my head though I was going crazy with the new information I had.
Ghana's phone rings and he answers almost immediately. "Boss."
"Yes...I will be there."-he says and hangs up. I can already sense that there was going to be a meeting
sooner rather than later for him. And I hated how some of these meetings would keep him there for
more than one day.
"Anything else Lutendo's mom?"-he asks.
I must have been standing here for far too long. "uhmm...she... She's awake."-I find myself blurting out. I
watch as he frowns before looking to the old hag.
"Who?"
"Nothing."-that was probably one of the most stupidest things I've ever said to him honestly since he
gives me that look again.
"I'm not asking you again."-him.

"Azania. She's awake."-I say looking down at my knotted fingers.
"Ah."-Ghana. I look up again to find him grinning from ear to ear. "Now isn't that great news. Come eat
with us."-he moves to the side and pats on the empty now between them both.
"Come!"-Ghana yells. I swallow hard before going to sit there. I felt trapped all of a sudden and both the
auras next to me were not giving me peace. "eat up Rendani we have a lot of celebrating to do after
here."
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Azania's POV.
It's around 10h00 when Xavier finally leaves me in peace after spending the whole night here. He also
left here by force actually and it took a lot of convincing too.
My nurse walks in with a tray of food and I can't help but sigh.
"Oh no don't tell me that is hospital food again."
"Unfortunately it is... Now come on try to look a little bit more excited."-she says and I sit up pulling the
table closer. She puts the tray on it and stands there with a smile on her face.
"What is it?"-I ask her.
"Oh... Nothing."
"Really now Thandeka? I may not know you that much but I surely do know that you want to say
something... Come on what is it."-me.
She sighs and pulls a chair it for herself to sit on.
"You interest me Azania."
I frown. "I interest you? Me? The same woman who would've been dead by now if it wasn't for all of you
people interests you?"
"You're actually braver than I thought. Not many people survive suicide Azania and I'm sure I'd also be
one of them."
"One of them?"
"Yep. Many times I just felt like I'm dead inside like I have no propose at all... Until I started therapy."
"And it worked?"
"I wouldn't be here if it didn't. Look I may not know what may have pushed you over the edge but I
surely know what would've driven mine. My father died when I was 13 years old and since then our lives
have never been the same. My brother became the worst. He was 20 at that time."
"Wow..."-that's all I could utter.
I didn't know what else to say when someone was just pouring out their hearts to me like this.
"Luckily Thembisile my younger sister was just 7... So she doesn't remember much."
"Your brother... Is he still... Worse?"
"He's never looked back since. The last time I saw him was last year before winter season we had a
function back at home which he organised. Since then it's only been calls and messages which really
aren't the same."-her.
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"You don't have to be sorry Azania... I'm fine now."
"I... Still don't get how I interest you Thandeka."-me. I really didn't get it.
"You interest me because you somehow remind me of my past self. And just like you I'm 26 with a son I
absolutely adore. I don't have a man though... But that's not important. What is though is your physical
emotional and mental well-being. Don't let this mess you up get help while you still can cause it's never
too late."-she says and gets up before smiling again. "I'll be back in 30 minutes and I hope you'll be done
by then."-she says and leaves.
How does one eat after that?
When she eventually comes back I've tried my best to eat what was on my plate.
"Well if I came back here and you didn't even touch this food then I swear I would've force fed you."-she
chuckles causing me to chuckle as well.
"Have you tasted this food?"
"So much to know that it ain't something I want to eat on a daily."-she says and takes the tray. "Do you
need anything else before I go?"-She asks.
I've been thinking...

"Can I actually ask you if I have the right to discharge myself?"
"Why not wait for your husband to do that?"-her.
"I..."-I briefly bite on the insides of my cheeks before answering. "Well...you see there's something I
wanted to take care of before it becomes too late."
"Like?"-She asks putting the tray back on the table.
"Like...uhmm... You know what never mind. Forget I even asked."-me.
I shouldn't have asked her that honestly but I did and now it was going to make a few more things very
awkward.
"You can go. Sorry for that."-me.
She nods and walks out of here.
Sigh.
So since signing myself out of here is not going to happen then I might as well sneak out of here. I had to
fight and face my fears head on and this honestly felt like the best thing to do. After that it's therapy
right?
Sheesh.
As I was getting off the bed to head to the toilet the door opened. Xavier.
"Where are you going?"-he asks rushing to my side.
"Xavier relax."-I state but he's already putting down the things in his hold on the bed and taking me into
his hold.
"My drip Xavier."
"Almost forgot about that."-He reaches for it and makes me hold it before lifting me up bridal style.
"Xavier you're being dramatic. You do know that I can still walk right?"
"Why walk when I'm here?"-Him.
I roll my eyes ignoring the pain I got from the drip. It made my hand feel a bit weak.
"Your day?"-me. He pushes the door open with his back.

"Boring. You don't know how quiet that house is without you or Xander there."-him.
"Take me home then. This place is suffocating. Just like you."
"Oh so I'm suffocating you now?"-he gently puts me down next to the toilet.
I chuckle and nod. "Look at you now you are with me in the toilet. Who does that?"
"Me. Now sit and do your business."
"Now I'm being told what to do...goodness."-I sit down and pee.
He's watching.
When I'm done he reaches for some toilet paper and I stop him.
"You are not wiping me."
"Oh yes I am."
"No you're not now give me the toilet paper."
"See you're wasting time. Just let me do it."

I think I look at him for a good while before actually letting him be. It was obvious that he was not going
to drop this. He crouches in front of me and started wiping my girl.
"Done... See that wasn't hard. Now come."-Him. I stand up and again I'm in his hold.
"I didn't wash my hands."-I announce. He looks at me briefly before continuing to walk out of here.
Is he ignoring me!
Once back in the room he places me on the bed and reaches for a bag. From Inside the bag he digs out
some sanitizer.
"Here. Found this in your bag."
"Why didn't you just bring my bag too?"-I ask taking it and he shrugs.
"I have no idea."-Him. I hand it back to him and sit back.
"So... What did you bring me?"-I ask with a slight smile on my face.
He seemingly remembers the things he came here with and gets them.
"Food and changing clothes. I'm here to find out if I can take you home today."-Him.
My smile grows even wider at both those statements.
"Gimme the food already."-I whine. He chuckles and hands me the McDonald's take away.
"I had a feeling you wouldn't enjoy the hospital's food as much."
"You have no idea."
---
"I've got my eyes on you. You're everything that I see. I want your hot love and emotion endlessly.
I can't get over you. You left your mark on me. I want your hot love and emotion endlessly. Cause you're
a good girl and you know it..."-the beautiful song played away as we drove back home.
I was happy because I was allowed to leave the hospital today but I was not exactly too thrilled about
going back to the same house that I tried killing myself in. I couldn't even bring myself to look at Xavier. I
still felt like I really outdone myself here. Again.
I was selfish again.
I allowed that man to control me again.
Maybe I wasnt as strong as I thought I was. Maybe I never even had walls around me even from the
beginning.
"Azania."-Xavier calls me out sounding a bit worried. He has probably been calling me for ages now.
"Yes?"-I look at him.
"Talk to me. Don't go all quiet on me again."
"Oh... I'm sorry I was just-..."
"Thinking about Victor? Please don't. Don't do that to yourself."-he says after cutting me off.
I look away again.
"I talked to Nkateko she'll help. I just told her to wait for you to be ready."
"I am ready Xavier."-I state too quickly looking at him again. He briefly looks at me before focussing back
on at the road. "I don't want to find myself hurting Logan again."-me.
"I don't want you hurting yourself again."-he says causing me to bite on the insides of my cheeks.
Right. That too.
"I'll call her once we get home then."-he says and reaches for my hand. He gives it a gentle reassuring
squeeze.
Once in our yard he parks and we step out.
Inside it's dead quiet.
I miss my baby.
"I'll be upstairs."-Xavier says and kisses my cheek. I nod and watch him Sprint off. And like when I
entered it's quiet. Scanning the whole house it looks pretty clean. No dishes but a few take away
containers and beer bottles on the counter. I take them and throw them away. I wipe it clean and go sit
on one of the high chairs on the other side.
I take my phone out of the inside of my pocket and switch it on. Notifications immediately start flooding
in.
Missed calls from Rendani?
Messages from buyers who want my paintings.
And that's mostly it. The ones from Xavier had me worried for a second but then the date was of when
all this started.
I'll reply to the other important messages a bit later but for now I might as well start making something
for dinner.
Xavier comes down after almost an hour in that room looking rather displeased. Instead of sitting down
he heads all the way to the fridge and takes out a beer. Then he finally sits down opens it and downs
almost half of it without a break.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong or what?"-I ask lowering the heat of the stove.
"6 weeks?"-he asks himself and takes another sip. "6 weeks Azania."
"What about 6 weeks?"-me.
"Nkateko says you have to do a 6 week long program."
"What's so bad about that?"
"You have to go a rehabilitation centre opens it and downs almost half of it without a break.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong or what?"-I ask lowering the heat of the stove.
"6 weeks?"-he asks himself and takes another sip. "6 weeks Azania."
"What about 6 weeks?"-me.
"Nkateko says you have to do a 6 week long program."
"What's so bad about that?"
"You have to go a rehabilitation centre for 6 weeks."
"That isn't bad moes. This is going to help me right so why are you fighting it."
"I'm not fight anything you're forgetting I almost lost you right? And now you're going away for 6
months?"
"Xavier-..."
"No."-he cuts me off and immediately gets up and heads outside.
Why is he being such a baby?
I finish cooking and switch off the stove before heading outside as well. The now empty bottle is on the
side of the pool where I sit at. He comes up the water gently cascading down his majestic face. Gently he
scoops his short hair back and opens his eyes to find me looking at him.
He swims up to me stopping by my lap and rests his arms there.
"Come join me."-he says.
"One you know I can't swim and two you're still angry."
"I'm not angry anymore. I've accepted."

"Masinya soh? (So quickly)"
"What does that even mean?"-he asked chuckling.
"It means...you were quick to accept."-me.
"It was the hormones baby okay I overreacted. Forgive me."
"Wait are you pregnant?!"-I giggle putting my hands on his head and run my fingers through his hair.
"Might be... Pregnant with love."-he and says and I'm suddenly pulled into the water screaming my
lungs out.
"Baby relax!"-he says laughing.
"Get me back on dry land now!"-I complain and hug him for dear life.
When I finally stop my yelling fest and open my eyes I notice that we're in the middle of the pool and
nowhere near dry land.
"Can I breathe now?"-I hear him mumble from underneath my chest.

I let him go and he gives heaves out a dramatic breath of air.
"Get me out of here Xavier. Please."
"Kiss me first."-he says looking at me with his -still- intimidating blue eyes.
"I'm not kissing you."-I protest.
"Then enjoy the water baby cause asiyi ndawo. (we're not going anywhere.)"
"Fine with me."-I say and he instantly lowers me even more than before. I once again yell.
This is embarrassing really cause I know for a fact that he'd never let me drown but here I am behaving
like he actually would.
"Okay! Okay I'll kiss you!"-I cry out listening to his irritating laugh.
He lifts me up again and I can't help but punch him on his shoulders.
"You're an asshole!"-Me.
"A handsome one too don't you think? Now my kiss."-he says. I find myself rolling my eyes and giving in
to his request.
---
I snuggle closer to him once he gets in bed. He puts a hand on my waist and pecks my cheek. "So when
am I seeing my son?"-me.
Truthfully I missed him terribly. Even over dinner I wanted him near me. But something in me couldn't
stop thinking that maybe Xavier didn't want me being close to him. I doubted he even trusted me with
him now because of what I did.
"You'll see him."-he assures me.
"When Xavier? I miss my blue eyed bug."
"So he's a bug now?"-he asks.
"My bug yes"
"And what does that make me?"
"A grown ass man who shouldn't be worrying about pet names."
He chuckles and sniffs on my neck.
"You smell good."
"Xavier don't ignore me."
"Okay baby...you can see him tomorrow if you want."-he says and pulls me closer to him.
"I'd love that."-I giggle when I feel something poking my back. "Xavier is that-..."
"I'm sorry... I'm not even thinking about that."-he quickly cuts me off making me laugh even more.
"these darn things just get up for no reason."
"Are you saying I lost my touch?"-Me.
"What? Never baby. I'm just saying I'm not after sex. Okay."
I giggle again
"Okay."-me.
"Now... sleep."-he orders and I must say that is exactly what I do.
------------------------------------------------------------------
I couldn't sleep necessarily because I think I woke up after 2 hours. I then managed to sneak out of bed
and head to my painting room to obviously paint away the hours. The room is clean too. My canvasses
and the perks were neatly packed away.
Who cleaned here?
It can't be Xavier.
Victor. He was honestly the only thing on my mind right now. Not willingly though. In the nightmare I
had prior to waking up he was everywhere. Somehow I could smell him too and hear him but I couldn't
touch him. Oddly enough Athi was there too. He kept on telling me to do it. To go forth with what I had
in mind.
But...
Actually...
I step back to look at what painted.
What the heck is it?
I try inspecting it but still I didn't get it. So many hours waisted on this!
I get up from the floor and taking a brush and a whole tube of pink Paint make my way to our bedroom.
It's 07h10 now.

And this man is still dead asleep. Good. I make my way to him and get on the bed on my side. After
inspecting his face thoroughly I started painting on him. On his cheeks...On his nose...On his forehead...
Oh it was messy...
He finally twitches and opens his eyes and they go wide.
"Morning sleepy head."-I say and attempt on painting his eyebrows but he grabs ahold of my hand and
manages to pin me down on the bed in one go. "What the heck!"
"What are you doing missy?"
I snort.
"Am I pink?"
Again I snort and nod. "You look like miss piggy."-me.
"Oh?"-Him. He suddenly brings his face closer to mine and rubs it on me.
"Xavier no!"-I try wiggling out of his hold but it proves useless.
He finally stops and looks at me snorting too. "Now we both look like pigs."-he admits.
I couldn't stop laughing until I bit on the insides of my cheeks.
"You piggy need to bath and go to work."-me.
"I have to stay here and take care of you though."
"Do I look sick?"-me.
"Well...not really. If you can paint my face like this and sneak out of bed like you did then you surely
must feel bett-..."-he says.
Oh so much for sneaking out!
"Manje (so) go shower and get ready for work. I'm perfectly fine."-I try convincing him.
I needed him gone.

"Are you sure you're fine?"-him.
"Yes."
"And you won't be missing me too much?"
"Oh my gosh yes."-me. I chuckle.
"Then will you join me for my shower?"
I nod. "Can you get off me now?"-me.
---
I stand at the doorway watching Xavier drive out. He hoots and I wave.
The moment he's out of sight I quickly make my way upstairs and change from my robe to sweats. I
comb my weave and put on some old shades I had laying around.
Sheesh.
After putting on my kicks I head to our safe in the closet. The pin I put in works and when it opens I find
myself rethinking everything...
I'm still not changing my mind though.
Not now.
Not ever.
I take my phone out and dial Athenkosi's number. It rings three times before he answers.
"Azania!"-he says a tad too dramatic.
"Hey Athi."
"Oh my gosh Bitch. When did you get back?! How are you? Why didn't vanilla tell me about this!?"-him.
"Athi...please one question at a time. I came back yesterday and I'm fine...I just need a huge favor from
you."-I shoot my shot.
"Oh. As long as it doesn't involve killing somebody..."-I feel myself freeze for a second. "...then I'm in.
What do you need?"
"I need you...you to drive me somewhere."
I can't believe my grown self still can't drive.
"Ah that's doable. Lemme just inform my hubby and I'll be there in no time."
I sigh out in relief. "Thank you so much Athi. You're the best."-I say and hang up.
One down. One more to go.
I dial Rendani's number and cross my fingers in the hope that she'll answer. When she actually does I
feel like jumping for joy.
"Rendani hey."-I force a smile.
"Azania...uh...hey. Hey."-she repeats making things a tad awkward.

She sounds on edge too though.
"You good?"
"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"-she snaps.
"Woah chill. I was just asking."
Azania. Sound a bit interested!
"Look I was thinking that I should come over. Maybe catch up or something since I'm finally free."-me.
There's a long silence and I'm busy praying while biting on the insides of my cheeks.
"You know what. Why not. Ghana isn't even here so I'll send you my location."-she says and hangs up.
Zimu.
Not even a minute later I receive a notification.
Her location.
Jackpot.
"Well look at God."-I smirk and stuff my phone inside the pockets of my sweatpants. From inside the
safe I retrieve Xavier's gun. Having this in my hand took me way back to Tiger. That was the last time I
touched a gun. It felt heavy in my hold.
Heading downstairs felt long and dreadful. I kept on asking myself if this is really what I wanted or not.
Outside I hear a car hoot. Athenkosi is already here? That was really quick. I store the gun on the side of
my waistband and cover it with my sweatshirt.
"Hey."-I greet the moment I step into the car.
"Bitch. What's up?"

"You came very fast."
"A bitch in need is a bitch indeed."-he says and I chuckle.
"Drive bitch."
"Where to?"-he asks.
"Just drive I'll navigate you."-I say and he drives out.
The drive is filled with questions from Athe. As much as I didn't want to answer most of the questions he
had I kind of had to.
We parked right outside the gate of the semi secluded house. I couldn't help but wonder if this place
was supposed to remain a secret. "Wait here. I'll be back."-me. I climb out and make my way to the gate
that opens. Once in front of the door I knock.
My blood flowing and my heart beating hard against my chest but did I have any doubts?
No...
Rendani is the one that opens and as I saw her at that restaurant she indeed was baking. I shake my
head and chuckle obviously accepting even more that this -ending our friendship- was not even the
slightest a mistake.
"Hey Rendz."-I force a smile. The second one today.
Sheesh.
"Yo-..."
"Is Victor around?"-I cut her off.
"Victor?"-She frowns.
"Yes."
"Who's th-..."
"My father!"-I snap. "I know he lives here with you."

I think I finally look over her shoulder and see him approaching. The asshole still had that mustache of
his. I don't even know when I took out the gun and pointed it to her but all I saw were her hands up in
surrender.
"Az...What...-"
"Move."-I demand.
She doesn't even hesitate to move backwards and instantly rushes to a couch. Victor is still standing
where I saw him.
"Wena (you) go sit!"-I point the gun to him.
"Azania you don't want to do this."-Him.
Lol.
"Victor go sit down. You wanted to talk right?"
"Not like this. Not with you pointing a gun to my face."-he says in anger.
"You have the audacity to speak to me like that? After every fucking thing you've done to me? You think
you fucking have to right to tell me how I should behave!?"
"Azania I think I-"
"SHUT UP RENDANI!"
She squeals and sniffs.
"Now. Victor. Sit down before I make you."
"Make me then."-he says and in an instant I shoot towards his leg. There's yelling and screaming all
around as he gravitates towards the ground.
"Azania please stop!"-Rendani cries out. "He's your father!"
"He's not my father and he'll never be! My father died the moment I turned 3 and I buried him when I
turned 7. This piece of shit is nothing to me!"
"Azania I'm losing a lot of blood..."-Victor cries out.

"And you think I care? You think I don't want you to bleed out and die? You deserve death marn! You
took my mother from me! You took Nobuhle from me! My innocence and freedom! You took it all and
you expect me to give a shit about your worthless life?!"
"I'm sorry... I-I never meant to."-he hisses.
"Don't lie to me Victor!"
"I'm...not lying Azania. I was angry. Angry at you...and- and your mother..."-he says.
He was not making sense.
He never makes sense!
Oddly enough I'm quiet. Listening to him.
"Your mother was not who you thought she was. Yes I used to hit her and hurt her. I know I hurt you too
but I swear I wouldn't have have done it if your mother didn't cheat on me."
"Woah woah woah...ima kancani Victor(wait a little) my mother was not a cheater! And even if she was
who bea-..."-me.
"You don't know the Londiwe I knew Azania. She was a liar."-he cuts me off.
"Stop it!"
"A cheater."-Him.
"Stop it!"
"She was the woman I loved Azania and she had to go and cheat on me and get pregnant for another
man!"
I feel the air get knocked out of my lungs when I hear that last statement from him.
"Do you know what that did to me? Do you know how much of a laughing stock that woman made me
and how much she made me feel like I wasn't worthy? I loved your mother Azania and I trie-..."
"What do you mean she got pregnant for another man?"-I chip in too my voice suffocated by my unshed
tears.
He sighs heavily and puts even more pressure on his wound.
"You're not my daughter Azania. I am not your father."-he says and hisses out in pain.
I feel weak when I lower the gun and take a step back. Victor is not my father?
I know I'm supposed to be happy about this but now I'm just even more hurt and pained by this
confession. What was I even thinking coming here?
This is not what I wanted. This is not what I expected.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
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Chapter 39
So... Nothing as thrilling as knowing that your mother was the cause of all your suffering.
I'm sitting here on the stairs drinking away my sorrows while reading on the letters that Victor intended
to send to me when he was still in prison but didn't.
They all said the same shit about me not being his daughter and blah blah blah...
I lift my glass up to drink the wine in there but it's empty and so is the bottle next to me. Shit that ended
too quick. I get up nearly tripping over my own feet going to fetch another bottle of this heaven.
One of these envelopes contained a DNA test pictures of my mom and my so-called father. This looked
like a full blown relationship that my Victor managed to dig up. I don't even know this guy or even recall
seeing him anywhere. If I wanted to search for him where would I even start?
Did I even want to bother Tsiietsi with such?
When I left that house of theirs I felt heavy. I couldn't explain to Athenkosi that I just shot a man's leg
like that with the motive to end his life once and for all. I couldn't. Infact I couldn't even believe that I
would do such.
What would I have done if I did manage to kill him? In front of Rendani even. Why did I feel so confused
and without direction? What if Ghana walked in there and killed me instead for pointing a gun at his
baby mama?
The last picture is of this man alone. It looked like a picture that was taken of him without his concent.
Okay...they all looked like that actually and upon inspecting that one I could somehow see our
resemblances. His nose looked like mine and even his eyes looked like mine.
Zimu.
I crumble up the photo and throw it far away from me in anger. The others also end up on the floor
when I see that woman's face.
My glass is empty again but this time I don't refill it. Instead I drink straight from the bottle.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Xavier's POV.
"You sure you don't want some alone time with Azania...you know until she settles down?"
"Anné. Don't forget Azania is still Xander's mother okay. Nothing can change that. Besides she misses
him."-I say and take my sleeping son from Anné.
"Aren't you scared she might hurt him ag...ain..."-she trails off at the last part and I can't help but give
her a look.
"Anné we've been through this what the heck! I see telling you about this was a huge mistake."-I turn to
walk to my car irritated by this topic.
"Albert I'm sorry."
"Yeah whatever."-I open the back door of my car and gently put Xander in his seat. His bag is already in
the boot.
"I really am Albie."
"And how long will it take before you bring this whole shit up again about Azania hurting Xander."
"Never again I promise you."-I make extra sure he's securely strapped in his seat before closing the door.
"I'm leaving. Thanks for keeping him here. Next time I'll get a nanny."
"Xavier don't be ridiculous. I'm sorry okay."-she says folding her arms in front of her chest.
"Bye."
"Xavier you're being childish now come on."
"If I'm being childish then so be it. I'm not about to stick around and listen to you saying shit about my
fiancee."-I say and get into my car and start the engine pronto.
I'm out of there in seconds leaving her still standing outside at her driveway.
Arriving back at our place I feel excited about reuniting my boy with his mommy. He's still asleep though
but knowing her she might want to wake him up just to put him to sleep again.
I step out ignoring the tenth call from Suzanné since I left her place. This woman should quit it cause I'm
still angry.
After getting Xander out of his seat still sound asleep in my arms I close and lock the car. I then make my
way to the entrance and it's only then that I realise that the lights are off. Azania can't be asleep yet.
That's unlike her. And it's only past 20h30.
The door isn't even locked.
"Babe."-I call out and turn to switch the lights on.
"What the-..."-I stop when I see her sitting on the stairs with two empty bottle of wine papers
everywhere and my gun next to her. Panicmode is the next thing that comes my way. "What are you
doing with that gun Azania?"-I hold Xander closer to me thinking of the worst again.
"Gun? What gun?"-she asks her words slurred. She looks to her side. "Ohhhh...this gun?"
"Put it down Azania."-I say stepping forward.
"I won't shoot you...relax... I just- is that my baby?"-she asks getting up and stumbles nearly falling off
the stairs.
"Wait wait. I'll come to you just stand there."-me.
"Oh okay fine by me."-she slurred away. I sigh and make my way to her as she stood there. Taking the
gun swiftly from her I put it on safety.
"Can I hold him now?"-her.

"Once we're upstairs Azania. Not here."
"Ah. Fffine."-Her. I shoved the gun on my side and take her hand into mine. Staring at the things on the
floor I couldn't help wondering what happened here when I was gone.
When we get upstairs I rush to put Xander into his cot. "Is he still asleep?"-her. "I want to hold him
please."
"Let him sleep baby."
"But babyyy...pleaseee."-her. I glace at her and then head to the safe to put the gun back in there.
"Aren't you going to kiss me?"-She hugs me from behind.
"You smell like alcohol Azania."
"So?"
"What happened here?"-I remove her hands from my waist and turn to look at her in the eye.
"Nothing."-she leans in to kiss me but I turn away.
"What are all those papers on the floor?"-me. I look back at her again.
"I want you..."-she utters and I feel her hands on my chest.

She's busy unbuttoning my shirt fully concentrated on this task.
"Azania. Answer me."-I request grabbing her hands. Speaking to a person whose intoxicated has got to
be one of the most demanding things.
"You're such a party pooper. All I wanted was for you to sex me."-she says and forces her hands out of
my hold before walking off.
I follow behind her witnessing her lose balance there too.
"Oh such a gentleman."-I hear her say when I manage to catch her.
"You need sleep."
"Nooo..."-she shakes her head. "... I... Need you."-she points to my exposed chest.
"Not happening."-I pick her up and place her on the bed.
"Who said I want to sleep?"-her. I shake my head and remove her sneakers. "I love you Xavier."-she
giggles.
I manage to remove her sweatpants too without saying anything.
When I look up to her she's long gone with drunken sleep. Again after shaking my head I get up and
cover her with a blanket before heading downstairs to all those papers. The first one I pick up is what
looks like a letter... From her father?
The fuck?
How did she get ahold of these?
"It's been 10 long years since I last saw you Azania and I still can't help but wonder how your life has
been. know it's probably one of the most insensitive things to wonder especially since I technically
ruined your life but... Yes I still care.
I still think of your mother too.

How she used to cook for me and do everything I wanted and needed her to do for me even when I was
suffering.
I think that was probably one of the reasons for her infidelity...
Because I was poor.
Azania I'm writing this from my horrible cell to inform you about what was eating me up inside. What
drove me over the edge and what made me insane.
You are not mine. I'm not your biological father..."
Wait wait wait.
What?
This insensitive bitch used to rape and beat up my best friend because of his wife that cheated on him?
This is why he ruined her and scarred her for life?
This is the same bullshit that made him rape his own daughter to death and drive the his late wife down
a suicide path?
This wasn't adding up.
Even with his anger he still hurt and killed his own flesh and blood.
And... Why not leave her to go be with this man?
My blood just boiled at this thought and I didn't feel like reading this crap any further than I already
have. I sigh as I pick up the other letters and the photos of a man I've never seen before.
Could he be the father then?
After picking up all the papers on the floor and the empty wine bottles her phone and the wine glass I
head to the kitchen. Well this is not how I imagined my night at all especially after dealing with my sister
like that.
I place everything on the counter before taking out my phone and dial up Nqoba's number. I knew he'd
be able to help me right now.
The phone rings a few times before it finally gets answered.
"King."
"Zwane. How are you man?"
"Good. Great."
"Cool...look uhmm I need your help."-I shoot my shot. I didn't like asking another man to handle my stuff
but right now I didn't want to get my hands dirty.
"I'm all ears."-him.

I summarise everything I knew in almost one go not wanting to waste the man's time. I tell him about
the location I found on Azania's phone.
"I see. I can call up the guys and have those idiots caught and then you decide what you want to do with
them... Send me the location. As for the man in the pictures snap and send me a couple of them and I'll
have Tsiietsi on em ASAP."-he says and I can't help but be impressed by how he just says something and
actually has it done.
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Ghana's POV.
07h00.
"Get out of here. I gave you your money."-I say to the skank laying next to me.
"You always do this."-she says and I eye her.

"Nomfundo I-..."
"I'm Nomvelo. Nomvelo!"-she corrects me but I'm not really interested.
"Whatever. Just leave. I want to be alone."
"Don't you want us to try?"
"Try what?"
"You know...us."-she leans in again but I stop her by grabbing her by the throat.
"I don't want you Nom-what-what. But what I do want from you is you to fuck off out of here."
"Okay...let me go then."-she panics. I let her go and she quickly rolls her naked self out of this bed. She
grabbed her clothes and left leaving me alone again.
I take a quick shower and get dressed in fresh clothes before heading out to my car. I knew Rendani
would be asking questions about my absence before I even settle down but I didn't care.
My meeting two days back was just filled with orders from Notorious. We were going to be flying over to
Iraq for out next batch of drugs which meant big money for us if all went well.
Teanet as usual would be handling the delivery girls while I handle this transactions.
I switch my phone on before driving out of here heading back to my supposed hideout. Nothing calmed
me down other than listening to some real rap music on the radio. Or even thinking of the beautiful
Azania Mnguni who I wanted to make my very own. I wanted to fuck and keep her. That has been a dark
desire of mine for ages now but I just had to let Lust fool me and get Rendani pregnant again. Okay...
Maybe I wanted them both. Maybe not.
A quick glance at my phone and the first things there are dozens of missed calls from Rendani Notorious
and Teanet. I'm already in deep shit for missing Notorious' call so to avoid pissing him off even more so
to avoid pissing him off even more I call him first.
"You're dead."-he answers.
"Boss?"
"Get to your fucking flat unattractive ass to the hideout now boy."he hisses and hangs up.
Crap. I throw the phone onto the passenger seat before hitting the steering wheel and speeding off. I
was nervous and downright shaking already.
The moment I got there I saw his cars parked outside and I knew shit was real. I didn't even bother with
driving in since they crowded my whole yard. Stepping out I saw them approaching me. A whole group
with Notorious in the middle and Teanet next to him.
"Ghana... Ghana... Ghana. You really outdid yourself."
"Boss-..."
"I'm not finished."-he cuts me off. "I give you the best care I know and you just throw it right back to my
face huh? Because you're one of my best men I had you sent out on a fucking hideout for a while just so
that gang can fuck off and what do you do when you come back? You allow your fucking stupid girlfriend
here. I knew it was destined for failure."
"Boss please I can-..."
"Ghana do you even know where she is now?"
Wait what?
"Gone. 1134 has her and I hope they kill her on my behalf before I do."-he says and gives a mischievous
laugh. He then holds out his hand to Teanet and Teanet puts a gun there...The same gun he points at
me.
"You... I'm going to kill you myself cause I dont want loose ends I hate loose ends."
"Please bo-..."
I hear loud deafening pop pop sounds...followed by a burning sensation on my abdomen and chest. I'm
on the ground screaming out in immense pain. I try to get up again...
I try to see clearly again...
I try...
He comes to me and points me with the gun again. And I just close my eyes befo-...
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Azania's POV.
A cry is what wakes me up from my sleep. This angry headache was not making things any easier either.
I open my eyes and blink multiple times trying to get some moisture in then so I could finally keep them
open.
"Logan?"-I say lowly when I see his adorable chubby self keeping himself up with the cot. He stops crying
and smiles.
Errr...okay...
"Drink your pills and the smoothie I made you."-Xavier says walking out of the bathroom with a towel
wrapped around his waist. Logan turns to face Xavier and sings for his father's attention.
Sheesh.
I take the pills from my bedside table and down it with the glass of water. "What is this green stuff?"-I
ask putting the glass back.
"My very own hangover concoctions. Drink it and come take a shower."-him. He kisses Logan's cheek
and I somehow feel ignored.
Then it hit me. The gun. The pictures. The letters. What does he know?
I force the concoction down my throat. He finally comes my way and sits down by my feet. Logan looks
at me and I feel ashamed. I got drunk last night and I probably ruined everything.
"Here."-he offers him to me.
"I-..."
"Take him Azania."-he cuts me off.
I reach my hands out and take him. He's heavier. His hand goes to his foot and that seems like what he
finds more interesting than me. Ouch.
Xavier sits down.
"I called Nqoba yesterday and they caught Rendani and Victor. They don't have Ghana though. I also
gave him information about the man in the pictures."
"What?"
"Victor was shot. And I know you did that."
"I-..."
"Don't try to deny it. How could you be so reckless though? What if they hurt you? You know what
Ghana is capable of yet you have the audacity to set feet wherever he could be?"
Wow. I have a headache and he's busy yelling at me here.
"Xav-...."
"I'm going to get dressed."-he gets up and heads to the closet. Double wow.
"I asked Moss to get me guard to keep an eye on you all day long since I can't leave you alone here
without wondering what you'll do next."-he says fixing his tie. "I'll also be coming back early to take
Xander to my mom because Nqoba requested to see us and I doubt he'd want a baby around."
Logan was at it again screaming and being vocal throughout it all.

I just nodded cause I felt he'd cut me off if I tried speaking again. Once his tie was well situated he made
his was to me and kissed Logan's cheeks before my own. "I'm gone."-Him.
He grabs his keys and laptop bag before leaving.
Sheesh.
Finally minutes later of just sitting and talking nonsense with Logan I get up and put him in his cot to
make the bed. Once I'm done we head downstairs. I feed him and myself.
On the counter were the pictures.
"Boy...I hope you never let another woman go through what I'm going through right now because this
hurts. I hope you never lay a hand on the one you love and that you never treat her like trash. I'm raising
you better than that."-I say to Logan holding his tiny hand in mine. "I'll personally deal with you when
you do."-he yells again. He's such a vocalist now I see.
I quickly rinse our bowls and then we make our way upstairs. My headache has surprisingly subsided a
bit. Once upstairs I remove his diaper. "Don't pee on me."-I lift him up and we head to the bathroom
where I start filling the bath with both hot and cold water.
"Let's go find you something to wear."-we head to the entrance of the closet and once we're inside I
manage to find one of his cute tiny jeans to wear and a white vest. I think I'm going to wear the same.
When our outfits are picked we go to the bathroom again. The water has reached a decent level so I
close the tap.
"Stay still."-I put him on the floor in a sitting position and he's soon busy reaching for his foot. I shake my
head removing my clothes quickly ensuring he doesn't fall at any point or time cause he's still not stable.
I feel the water before we get in. Not even a second later of doing that he starts playing and hitting the
water. This is going to be a long bath I see...
---
I just put Logan down for his afternoon nap after all the playing singing and crying he did.
I head down to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water when I hear a car pull up outside. It must be
Xavier since he mentioned he'd be returning early.
Why am I suddenly feeling nervous?

I gulp down the water immediately when I hear the front door open. It closes and he doesn't even greet
or call me out like he usually does. It's complete silence with only the sound of his shoes clicking on the
wooden floor. I fill up the second glass and try to down all of it but only manage half.
I feel his presence behind me as I place the glass in the sink. His hands go onto my waist as he leans in to
sniff my neck. "Sweet...baby."-he whispers.
Why are my eyes closed and my insides turning?
"Xavier I-..."
"Shhhh...."-again he cuts me off. He really doesn't want me talking today? "Don't say a word right now."
Fine.
I felt how his hands glided down my ass and then to the button of my jean shorts. "I just want to make
you cum now baby."-he breathed down my neck. I felt how my nipples hardened to those words. My
pussy flooded. He kissed my neck sucking on the sensitive parts. I grinded on him feeling his hardness
pressing on me.
Gosh I wanted him already.
He pulled the shorts down over my ass and they dropped to my feet. I step out of them.
"I've never seen these ones before."-him. I know he's talking about the lace number I have on and
honestly I love the fact that he's paying attention.
He spanks me shortly after gently caressing my one butt cheek making me groan. He chuckles quietly.
"This will be quick."-he murmurs close to my ear
In a split second he pulls me back a little spreads my thighs with his legs slides my panties to the side
and enters without proper warning.
Claiming me.
I cried out in surprise pain and somewhat pleasure.

Sheesh.
He didn't even give me enough time to adjust to his size he just started fucking me. At one point I
couldn't help but wonder if he's ever taken me like this. No. Never. He was thrusting in and out of me
fast and so recklessly. I held onto the sink for dear life.
"Fuck. So wet. For me."-he curses under his breath his hands firmly on my waist. Keeping me in place as
he picked up speed. Pounding me hard. I moaned loudly when his hips changed angle hitting deeper
against a spot that instantly drove me haywire.
His fingers played with my clit the action made me cry out even more and my vagina contracted and
squeezed tightly around him.
"Ffffffu... Don't do that Azania. You're going to make me cum too quick!"-he growled. I paid no attention
to him even though I didn't want this to end but I wanted my release now. "Shit. Baby you better be
close."-he stated his voice tortured. I nod lost in the pleasure he was giving me. His thrusts became even
faster rougher...and uneven. I knew he was close but so was I. He pressed on my clit and I moaned at
the intense feeling my body was getting. "Azi."-he groaned.
"Harder baby!"-I moaned and that's exactly what he gave me.

My body shook at the ravishing orgasm that overtook it. I came yelling out his name and a few other
things that even I can't remember.
Xavier only thrusted a few more times before cumming deep inside me. Growling and groaning as he
did. He sounded so sexy... And spent.
His dick jerked and pulsed in me.
He pulled out after a moment of composing himself and turned me to face him before giving me the
longest and sweetest kiss ever. His hand rested on my ass which he squeezed.
I'm a mess. Scratch that we both were. A whole fucked up mess.
He wore his chinos again while I got my shorts up off the floor.
"We leave at 15h00."-he says and leaves me standing here.
He says nothing more than that and heads upstairs.

The heck!
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
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Chapter 40
After freshening up and changing my shorts to a longer pair of jeans I step out of the bedroom. I couldn't
see Xavier anywhere but from the sound of things he was downstairs. With Logan.
When did he even wake up?
I take my pill quickly before grabbing my phone from the bed and head out. "You done?"-he asks getting
up.
"Yes."
"So we can g-..."
"Wait. Xavier."-he stops in his tracks and turns to face me. Logan lays on his chest.
Shame he's still sleepy I see.
"Look... I'm sorry. Please forgive me."-
"I forgave you in the kitchen already."
"But..."-me.
"Baby... I forgave you. That's it. Stop thinking about it."

I nod.
"Come we have to drop Xander at my mom's."
"Did you fix his bag?"
"Everything is in the car already."
"Oh...okay. Let's go."-me. We step out and he ensures that I lock the house properly before securing our
son in his seat.
---
"Azania!"-Xavier's mother exclaimed encircling me with her arms into a tight warm hug.
Wow.
"Don't kill my wife momma."-Xavier says closing the boot. She finally let's me go and holds me at arms
length inspecting me.
Oh gosh. Could she see that I was enjoying her son not so long ago or was I definitely overthinking
things?
"I'd never do that to you son. I'm just so glad we can see her again since you didn't want us visiting her
at the hospital."-she says.
"He didn't?"-me. I though they were too angry to come and see me.
"Yes. But then again we trusted he wouldn't keep things from us."
"Of course momma. Look all his things are in here for the day. We'll fetch him a bit later if not
tomorrow."-Xavier says.
"He can even stay here for eternity if he pleased."-she giggled and let me go to take Logan.
"Call us if you need anything."-Xavier.
"Xavier I raised 3 children and you think I'd call you if I need anything?"-her.
I chuckle. "Our baby is not like us momma."-Xavier says.
"Argh. Go away already."-she said and we shared a good laugh.

"Okay okay we're going. Thank you for doing this."-Xavier says hugging his mother.
"You didn't even have to ask me to."-she let's him go and hugs me again.
Xavier then gets Logan from the backseat of the car. I smother his cheeks with kisses leaving his cheeks
red with lipstick.
"You see now my son looks like he's been blushing non-stop."-Xavier.
"Leave my son alone."-I say.
"Into the car Missy."-he says and soon we're on the road again.
"...and earlier today an unidentified male was found shot dead next to a car that the police later
confirmed that it belonged to the deceased man. The man was shot 3 times according to the police
report given..."
Wow. Just like that a man dies.
It would've been my doings too...

"Are you hungry?"-he asks changing the radio station. I look at him. Am I?
"Aren't we in a hurry?"-me.
"Baby are you hungry or not?"-he asks and I pout.
"Yes."-I answer.
"Good that's all I needed to hear."-him. I roll my eyes and sit back on my seat.
He takes a sharp right turn into a Mugg & Bean restaurant. He parks the car almost close to the entrance
before switching it off.
"Stay here. I'll be back."-he gets out not even pondering if I wanted to come out with him or not.
I sigh taking out my phone. A message from Athe.
*Drinks tonight?*-his text read.

*Yoh friend. I drank myself into a hole yesterday and I've been paying for that.*-I text him back.
*Paying? Bitch Haha is he giving you the silent treatment?*-Him.
*And the dick. Lol.*
*Ooouuu girl I didn't think Vanilla was that wild! Goshlings I'm going to get my ass drunk and see what
Kenny does.*-he tests back with a whole bunch of crazy emojis.
*There's a lot you don't know about my man though.*
*Ha like what? Was he a stripper?*-Him.
I chuckle. I'd like to see Xavier rocking that pole in our closet one day.
*Lol nope. I was the stripper here.*-I text him back. I can't believe I felt that comfortable telling him
than I did with anyone else who didn't know this about me.
I quickly glance up to see if Xavier was coming back yet or not. No he wasn't.
I was about to look back down at my phone when a particular sight caught my attention. A man. I've
seen him before. He walked out of Mugg & Bean carrying about 6 take away paperbags.
I knew that walk from anywhere and when he finally turned to almost look my way I think my face went
pale. Those tattoos on his arms...
It's him. Teanet. The same man who was there when Zama died. The same man who gave Nathi the
knife to slaughter my friend. The same bald ass. I looked away when he passed by our car wondering
where the rest of his crew went to. I watch him with the review mirror as he walked to a black SUV my
heart beating out of its cage.
What if Nathi is there?

What if they knew we were here?
The car door opens and I nearly jump on my seat. "And then? Yini? (What?)"-Xavier asks with a frown on
his face.
"I just I-..."-I pause to look back again. They're gone.
"You what?"-he closes the door and looks at me with concern.
"Teanet. He was here."
"Here? At Mugg &-..."
"Yes Xavier! He just left here a minute ago. I'm not going crazy I swear."-me.
I glance back again and then at him.
"Let's go."-he puts the takeaways on the backseat and starts the engine.
The navigater navigates and leads us to a place in some parts of Johannesburg I've never explored
before. It's a pretty washed up town with tons of questionable places. Some of the places looked
flooded with druggies and hoes.
We stop in front of a huge gate and Xavier hoots twice. The gate slides open and we drive in. Men with
guns. Everywhere. They're all too serious and it's nerve-wracking. Xavier parks the car next to a few
other foreign machines.
Sheesh.
Who drives a damn Porsche?!
"Come."-Xavier offers me his hand after opening my door.
I take it and step out.
"Where are we?"-me.
"At our temporary HQ."-a familiar voice says.

It's Nqoba and damn.
"King"-he walks towards us.
He stands right next to Xavier dressed in one of the expensive looking suits he used to wear even from
back then at the palace. The absence of his tie made him look a little carefree.
"Zwane."-Xavier says shaking his hand but I could feel his eyes on me.
"Azania."-Nqoba says.
"Sir."
"Call me Nqoba please. I insist. You don't work for me anymore remember."-he says and I nod. I knew
that.
"Good seeing you again though my Dime."-he flashes me a side smile. Okay. Wow.
It felt awkward to know that I once wanted this male specie between my thighs but now... Not so much.
Infact My Xavier has definitely got more looks than Nathi does now that I'm here to 'compare'.
In the midst of all my thinking I hear Xavier clear his throat before placing a hand on my waist. I bite on
the insides of my cheeks when he does that. Is he getting jealous?
"Right. Are they inside?"-he asks impatiently.
"Straight to business I see. They are. Follow me."-Nqoba.
We make our way into the building and I'm shocked by the contrast in front of me right there. How can
a washed out looking house be so expensive looking on the inside? I'm not even going to ask why
everything is almost white.
"Oh I forgot to mention that Ghana is dead."
"What? You killed him?"-I blurt out.
"Lucky for him no I didn't. I'm pretty sure Nathi did though and we have an eye on him."
Would now be the perfect time to mention the fact that I saw Teanet or...?
"My wife actually managed to see one of them today not so long ago."
"Teanet? And the other goons Nathi has right?"-Nqoba asks looking at me.
I nod and he does the same.
"Don't worry. We have things under control."-he says and continues walking forward.
"Do you? If so why are they still roaming around like they are right now? Why aren't they caught?"-
Xavier asks on my behalf.
"Look both of you came to us for help right and now that we're doing exactly that you guys start asking
questions. I said we have everything under control didn't I?"-Nqoba says without making the effort of
turning back to look at us.
I shrug before we enter by the door we were standing in front of.
Woah.
It's a full house.

I spot Melo his twin and the other guys who's names I've completely forgotten. Oh wait and Tsiietsi.
They are honestly the only ones names I could remember. I watch how Melo flashes me a smile before
getting up from his chair.
"Azania...wow it's been forever."
"Right?"-I smile back.
"You good? Man what am I saying of course you're good."
I just nod despite all the drama that's going on in my life right now. "Mr King."-they shake hands while
the others just acknowledge us with a nod.
Oh well.
"Where are they?"-Xavier asks.
"In there."-Melo's twin says looking ever so cold. He looks like the kind that you just don't mess with.
"Bring them out."-he orders and with no questions asked they do as he requested bringing the two out
of the room they were in.
All I heard were muffled sounds from them and I knew instantly that they had their mouths covered
"Put them there."-he points to two empty chairs. Melo and the other guy forcefully lead them there
before sitting them down and cuffing them up.
"Well. Here they are."-he says motioning to them.
I look at Xavier before he looks at me. Concern written all over his face. I know what he was concerned
about but I smiled a little just to reassure him that I'm perfectly fine. I face them again. These men
gazing at us as if waiting for us to tell them what to do.
"Uhmm...can- can we have the duck tape on her removed?"-me. I suddenly felt brave at this point with
Xavier by my side.
Melo's twin nods. "Lundi."-Him.
The other guy -Lundi- who helped Melo with taking the two out of that room steps to her and
immediately rips the tape off her lips. She yells out in inevitable pain. When she finally stops I let go of
Xavier's hand before stepping forward. Wondering what exactly I wanted here.
I didn't want to end her life as well as the one she's carrying I'm not that cruel but then again I needed
something to make her feel my pain.
"I'm sorry we were friends once upon a huge mistake those are months I can never get back again. I saw
you and him by the way way before you decided to call me for whatever."-I chuckle. "Did you know he
tried strangling me once. A real maniac."
"He's not a maniac!"
"Yeah you're right he's not. But what you should know is that he's dead."-me. That's all I needed to say
honestly before knowing that I've done enough damage on her. If she truly loved Ghana this would be a
perfect soul crusher.
"Ghana...Ghana can't be dead...we have a baby to raise together. What the heck are you saying!"-she
yells hysterically. I look at her one more time before turning to face Victor. With a smile on my face I
asked "did you touch her?"
I pointed at Rendani and the answer was as clear as daylight. "You see I know you touched her and if
you could you would do it again right? Just like you did to me. You hurt me over and over and over again
until I felt empty pathetic and hideous. You used your power to destroy me. You said you only did what
you did because I was nowhere near being your daughter yet you hurt Nobuhle. Wasn't she your
blood?"-I ask.
"Stop hiding behind the fact that Londiwe cheated on you cause we both know that wasn't the reason
why you started what you started. You're a rapist and no amount of justifying can change that."-I say
and watch how the anger radiates through him. Nothing made me happier like the duck tape that
covered his mouth. I look at the men behind me. Melo first Xavier last. His eyes were filled with hurt and
wonder.
I look at Melo's twin Hlelo. "You guys said you can do anything right?"-me.
"What do you want?"-Hlelo asks.
"I want you to chop off his penis balls everything he uses to piss."
I hear a few gasps and hisses.
"I want all of his fingers gone too. Discard them where no one will find them please. I want this man to
never touch another girl on this Earth."
The men look at each other and I sigh walking away from these two heavy souls. Once next to Xavier I
feel the same safety I felt earlier on.
"Lundi get me my knives."-Hlelo orders.
---
"Here."-Nqoba hands me a whole brown envelope. "It's every little detail we could find about Mr
Dlomo."
"Dlomo?"-me.
"That's the guy in the picture's surname. More information is in there."-Hlelo finishes off for him.
"Oh...thank you."
"It's always a pleasure but I hope you can make a wise decision after reading these."-Nqoba says and I
frown.
Okay...
May add that I witnessed it all...so my mind is still in a daze. How is this man acting okay as if he didn't
just...sheesh.
I should've just left.
---
I think we got home after an hour of driving. I fell asleep Midway and the only thing that filled my mind
right when I woke up was this envelope I walked into the house holding.
"I'm...going to shower."-Xavier says making me look up to him. He's already at the staircase holding the
Mugg and Bean takeaways.
"I'll join you in a sec."-I say and he nods before carrying on again.
I sit down at the bottom of the stairs before deciding to open these later. I don't understand why I felt
like I wouldn't like what I'd fine in here more especially since this was the truth. This was my father and
all that he came with.
I make my way upstairs and head to the shower after throwing the envelope on the bed.
After the shower we both dry up and head to the bedroom. I wrap myself with a towel and rest on the
bed.
"Xavier."-I call out. He peeks out of the closet with his eyebrows raised. "Please come join me. I need
you."
He gives me a small smile and walks out of the closet carrying his pajamas. He sits down and gives me an
opportunity to open the envelope.
I bite on the insides of my cheeks before pulling out the stack of papers.
Wow.
All this information from a few measly old pictures?
"Sh-should I read aloud?"-me.
"If you want to baby. This is all about you."
"Xavier this is about us. Not just me."
He shrugs. "Go ahead then... I'm listening."-he says.
I take a look at the first paper and clear my throat. "Okay...uhmm. It says here that uhmm...his name is
Joshua Dlomo and he's... deceased...what?"-I look up to Xavier who's looking right back at me.
He's dead...?
"Maybe I should read further."-he offers and I immediately give the papers to him. I didn't like this
already and already I missed the man I barely knew.
"He died in a car accident injuring his wife along with him. Her name is Sarah Dlomo. She's still alive."
"Does she have any children?"-I ask hurriedly.
"Uhmm..."-he pages through the stack. "Three. She has three kids and a granddaughter."-he says and
sighs before handing the papers to me once again. "Lemme go and warm our food up okay?"
I nod and watch him get up.
Once he's gone I carry on reading.
"Joshua Dlomo.
Age of deceased: 40"

How can he just die like that!
He should've waited for me atleast...
I page to Sarah's information eager to find more information about my sibli-...I mean her children.
Sarah's occupation: none.
Age: 53
Sex: female
Education: blah blah blah blah blah...
Come on get me to the information I want...
Aha!
Children (in chronological order):

•Thembinkosi Nathi Dlomo. (32)
•Thandeka Thuli Dlomo. (26)
•Thembisile Amahle Dlomo. (20)
Two of these names...they sound familiar...they give me shivers actually.
No I'm probably overthinking things...
I page through the stack finally meeting some pictures. Pictures of the man who was my father... Sarah
and then... Nkosinathi.
No.
I page again still not fathoming what was going on here.

Then there's Thandeka. My nurse. Why is she here? How is she even here?
I go back to Nkosinathi's pictures and feel how pure anger washes over me. How can this be?
"...but I hope you make a wise decision after reading this..."-Nqoba.
This is what he meant?
I sense Xavier's presence here again and when I look up I'm right. I attempt on wiping the unwanted
tears away from my eyes but fail miserably as they pour out.
"Baby...?"-he asks and I shake my head. He sits down next to me putting the food somewhere on the
bed. "What's wrong baby?"
"Xa-Xavier I...Wwhy-y"-me. I sniff and wipe them away again. Failing.
"What are you saying baby?"

"This can't... Can't...t"
"This can't? This can't what? Baby your not making sense."
"He's my brother Xavier!"-I construct. He tries wiping my tears away.
Thembisile is the only one I didn't recognize in those pictures.
"He's your brother? Baby calm down Who's your brother?"-he rubs my back while I shake my head. How
is he not understanding me when I was so clear.
"Him! Nathi."-me. "These papers say Notorious is my brother."
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
41
Chapter 41
Sleep came harder than I expected it to. All of my worst fears were wrapped into one huge heat ball.
One I didn't and couldn't stomach. I wanted to dig myself into a hole and pretend as if this was all a
dream. I wanted to unread everything I read in the hopes that it was all a mistake.
After an hour long's sleep I awaken feeling heavy nauseous and clouded. It's still night and I feel no need
to shut my eyes again. Meanwhile Xavier was snoring away next to me making me envy him.
I grab my phone in the aims of distracting myself with something but I end up dialling Xavier's mother.
It's so late in the evening but I don't hang up.
"Hello?"-she answers in her obliviously sleepy voice.

"I'm sorry for waking you up in the middle of the night but I wanted to know if you could... Uhmm...
Could bring Logan here now?"
"Now?"-her.
"Please."-I plead. As ridiculous as it sounded when I wanted my boy at around 1h00 in the morning I
wanted him here.
"Azania can't I-..."
"Please I'm begging you."
There's a long moment of silence and I knew she didn't want to do this but...
"Fine... I'll be there in a few."-she says and hangs up.
She could hate me for this but honestly if I could drive I'd fetch him myself.
I get out of bed and head to the bathroom. I still felt tremendously nauseous and wanted to relive
myself. I've been feeling like this since I decided to step out of that bed and I honestly hate it. I down
some water hoping that would somehow calm me but it doesn't. So...I shove a finger down my throat
and it all comes out and into the toilet.
Some somehow miraculously ends up on the seat itself.
"Are you okay?"-I hear Xavier ask as he rushes close to my side. He puts his hand on my shoulder. I nod
letting go of some more vomit. Gosh it smelled terrible.
Why is he here?
He helps me up and off the ground giving me a glass of water to down and rinse my mouth with.
"Here."-him.
I sniff and take the glass from him. "Thank you."-I take it. After a few minutes of collecting myself I make
my way out of this bathroom. I told Xavier that I was fine and that he could go to sleep. It took a lot of
convincing but eventually he did. Well soon enough I find him in bed but still wide awake starring at the
ceiling.
"You never answered my question."-him.
"What question?"
"Are you okay?"
"Is that why you're still awake?"-I ask.
"Would you be able to sleep in peace if you woke up in the middle of the night and found me vomiting
in the bathroom?"-he asks and I sigh shaking my head. "Now are you okay?"-he sits up.
"Yes."
No.
"You're pretty convincing."-he says sarcastically.
"Xavier you need your sleep. You have work later on today."
"You think work is much more important than your well-being?"

"Yes! You can't be going jobless because of my one silly vomit session like that Xavier. I said I'm fine now
go to sleep!"-me.
He runs a hand through his hair and keeps his focus on me. I know I've upset him even more right now
but he really needs to calm down. I walk out of here shutting the door behind me and make my way
downstairs. He should calm down and sleep and allow me to...to be angry.
On my second glass of wine there's a knock on the door.
Why didn't I get a call or something?
Wait where is my phone?
I quickly remove the bottle of wine and the glass before going to attend the door. It's my baby safely in
my mother in law's hands. I take him from her and I can't stop myself from engulfing him in a tight hug.
He smells so calming. "Thank you."-I say and finally look up at her. She's in her pink silk gown.
"Anytime. Where's Xavier?"
"He's asleep."-I reply and move from the door. She walks in and puts his bag on the couch in the lounge.
She looks around and then briefly looks at me. She opens her mouth as if to say something but she
doesn't. "I...thank you once again for bringing him."
"Sure. I have to get going."-she says and awkwardly makes her way out of here. I could feel it in me that
she wanted to say something but like earlier she didn't.
---
My eyes shoot open. I'm sweating and awkwardly positioned on the couch. My baby is on my chest
sleeping tightly in my hold. I get up regretting the wine drinking I did not so long ago. My head feels
heavy and honestly the nausea thing is back.
I make my way upstairs and step into the room. I find Xavier busy on his laptop and immediately I start
wondering what time it is.
The room is dense. Too dense.

I put Logan in his crib and go to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I finish there I make my way
back. I get into bed and stare into space.
"Zania."
"Mhmm?"-me.
"Are we fighting?"
I sigh and look at him.
"Why aren't you asleep?"-me.
"I couldn't."
"Oh. No. We're not fighting."
"Then why did you storm out of here?"
Silence.
"Huh?"
"I don't know."-me.
"Is this about Nathi?"
"Can we not do this now I'm not feeling well and I just want to sleep."-I say.
"Fine."-him.
Good.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two days go by and things were really getting more sour. My emotions were everywhere. Xavier too. I
think he was just afraid I'd fall back into my pit of darkness.
"What do you want to do?"-Nkateko asks me.
"I...don't know. I'm confused. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with this."
"Why do you think that Azania?"-she asks.
"I...don’t know. This is all just new to me. On one hand I hate him beyond anything and want nothing to
do with anyone on his family... But then on the other hand I've never had a family before."
She nods and proceeded to write in her little book.
"What is family to you Azania?"
"Family? Well...family to me is people who...you're related to. You know...siblings. Your mom and your
dad."-I state quite confidently.
"And what about your fiancé? Your son? Your mother in-law? Aren't they family?"
I keep quiet.
That’s not the point.
"Azania family has nothing to do with blood. Yes it is what you may think it is but it's not. Family can be
anyone around you who benefits your life positively. People who you can depend on. They are people
who care about your safety and wellbeing. That's what family is. Your late friend Zama didn’t you
consider her as family?"-she asked me.
I look down at my knotted fingers and nod.
"I did. I still do."

"Then there you have it. This place you say you're stuck in you're the only person that can get yourself
out of it."
I frown. "But you're still not answering my question."
"I don't need to Azania cause you already know the answer to that."
"No I don’t."-I say and bite on the insides of my cheeks.
"Ask yourself this one question then; What will you benefit from finding these people?"-her.
Closure?
I get up and take my handbag before leaving the room. My session only ending in ten minutes time but
I’m already out of there. I find Xavier still parked outside with Logan playing in his seat at the back
waiting for me. "Hey."-I give him a side smile. He smiles back. I haven't seen that in a while.
"Babe climb on in."-he says holding the door open for me to step in.
Logan immediately starts wanting my attention. "Your son."-me.
"He has your drama."
"I don't have drama."-I giggle and playfully hit his shoulder. "I think I should just get in the back then to
calm down my dramatic son."
"But-..."
"Babies don't go in front Xavier."-I cut him off and get in at the back. The boy was faking his cry. I give
him a look. "Udlala ngami wena. (You're playing with me.)"
After managing to buy some food for my baby and myself Xavier drove us back home. He helped us out
and excused himself heading to work again.
Sigh.
An hour later Logan falls asleep and I finally get a chance to go and do some painting. The moment I step
into my studio I'm met by my last painting. That painting that confused me. I can't believe it still didn't
make sense but I guess every artist goes through this.
As I painted my way through the majestic painting of confusion I couldn't stop my mind from wandering
off to something else. What we had to address today at my session with Nkateko.
What will I benefit from this?
Well...maybe...no.
The only person who I may contact is Thandeka and even contacting her would just be completely
awkward.
Like 'Hi I'm Azania. The evidence to your father's infidelity.'.
Zimu.
I don't want to be me right now.
---
"You've been scarce."-Athe says on the other end of the line.
"I know and I'm sorry."-Me. I'm busy making some supper. Logan is busy being loud and messy with his
favourite toys crawling everywhere and making his own mess.
"She acknowledges it. What have you been doing?"-he says.
"Well...I've been bonding with my son."
"Don't you do that everyday?"
"Everyday isn't enough I guess. What can I say."-I lie.
"I...see...look I'll check on you later then. Cheers."
"Bye."-me. He hangs up and I sigh out in low-key relief. I'm a mess. I take the lasagne out of the over
when my timer goes off. It smells good and hopefully tastes as good cause it sure as hell doesn't look
like a master piece.
Xavier better enjoy this slaved away recipe intensive meal I've just prepared. Speaking of which I dial his
phone since I notice it's actually quite late.
It rings twice before going straight to voicemail.
"Xavier baby are you okay? Its past 21h00 and you're still not home yet. I'm getting a little worried. Call
me when you get this. Bye."-I send the voicemail.
This was too odd but still I didn’t want to make a mountain out of an anthill. I dish up for myself after
feeding Logan and we both head upstairs to where I finally eat.
I took a shower after Logan fell asleep and then retreated to bed too.
The sound of the bedroom door opening woke me up. I wipe the sleep off my eyes trying to get some
focus on the figure in the room. He removes his shirt followed by his shoes pants and socks.
“Sleep.”-he says making his way to bed.
“Where have you been?”-I ask my voice evident with sleepiness.
“Sleep.”-he repeats climbing into bed.
“That’s not the answer I’m expecting.”-me.
He cups my face a plants a kiss on my lips. “Sleep.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Xavier walks down the stairs at around 10h00 looking all sorts of amazing. His hair was still wet from an
evident shower he took not so long ago. The track pants he wore hung perfectly on his hips. He runs a
hand through his hair before looking up at me. The plan yesterday was to be firm and get him to explain
why he couldn’t answer all 10 thousand attempted calls from me but instead it ended with him between
my thighs.
I’m not even sure if it was a moment of weakness or just horniness rearing it’s end.
“Morning.”-him.
“Hi.”-I reply sipping on a cup of rooibos tea.
“Can you make me a cup?”-he requests and sits down on one of the high chairs.
I nod and boil the water again before taking a cup rinse it and get a teabag. “Two sugars?”-I ask. He nods
and I proceed to add them. The water stops and I add the hot water to the cup with a teabag. “Milk?”
“Please.”-him.
I add it and give it to him. “Thanks.”-him.
“Anytime.”
There’s silence. Thick silence.
“I was coding.”-he says breaking this deadly silence.
“Huh?”
“The reason why I came home late yesterday was because I was busy coding.”
“Must be important then.”-I sip my tea once more before deciding that I’ve had enough of it. “Couldn’t
you at least call me back?”
“My phone died.”
“And you couldn’t call using someone else’s phone?”-I ask.
“Mike's phone also died babe.”-he says.
“Who’s Mike?”
“Wow we’re really doing this?”-him.
“Yes we are Xavier. How would you feel if I came back in the wee hours of the morning without an
explanation? Without answering your calls?”
“Okay...okay. I’m sorry. Mike is that friend of mine that once offered that we have a braai here. I’m
sorry. I should’ve made a plan to help assure your worries.”-him. He puts down the cup and gets up off
the chair. “Forgive me?”
“No.”-I frown. “Let me go and check on Logan.”
“Baby...please.”-he pleads.
“You’re unbelievable you know that.”-I sigh and excuse myself.
---
The day is slow with Xavier spending most of his time with Logan than me. I’m not jealous or anything
but I did feel left out. I get up and make my way upstairs to the safe in our bedroom. From there I
retrieve the stack of papers with all that information. I needed Thandeka's number to call her. I don’t
even know what I’m going to say to her but I surely want to say something.
I find the number and dial it.
And hang up.
What the hell am I doing?
I sigh and gather myself all over again before redialling. It rings.
“Hello?”
“Thandeka?”-I say.
“Speaking. Who’s this?”
“It’s Azania. I was your patient not so long ago.“-I narrate.
“Ohh...how are you?”
“I’m okay. Look I know this may sound weird but I was wondering if you could tell me when you’d be
free so we could meet up...I want us to talk about something.”-I say.
“I'm actually free right now.”-she shoots and honestly I wasn’t expecting it to be this soon. But then
again If not now then when?
“Oh great. I can send you a location and maybe we can meet there?”
“Cool. I’ll be waiting.”
“Awesome. See you.”-I say and hang. Since I was kind of dressed up already I didn’t bother changing. I
called up an uber and while I waited selected a few of the photos in there. Joshua...
“Azania!”-I hear Xavier call me from downstairs. That must be my cab. I grab my handbag and phone
and head downstairs. “And then? Where are you going.”
“I’m going to meet up with Thandeka.”-I say pecking his cheek and on Logan’s. “Remember his nap time
is at 14h00. I’ll be back before you know it.”
I leave and get into the cab. I text Thandeka informing her about the location. Once I get there I feel a
little fear creeping in. Why am I doing this again?
Right...closure.
I find a suitable place to sit. A secluded one in the far corner of this restaurant. I order a glass of water
and wait.
Minutes later of waiting I see her walk through the door of this restaurant. She looks around and I wave.
It seems to work since she immediately relaxes and makes her way to the table a smile plastered on her
face. “Hey.”-I get up and hug her before she sits. “I almost thought you weren’t coming.”
“You’re not a patient woman. Are you?”-her.
“Depends.”-I say shrugging. She signals for a waiter and orders a glass of orange juice.
“So I’m just wondering how your lovely self even got a hold of my numbers and why we had to meet in
such an urgent manner.”
Sheesh.
I clear my throat before I look at her. Wondering how I should even begin to explain myself and my
whole existence.
“You have the right to wonder. Look...”-her juice arrives. “A couple of days ago I got a chance to hear a
truth I never could have expected. I didn’t know how to take and I felt myself feeling lost and somewhat
alone. This truth involves you.”
“Me?”-she frowns and drinks.
“Yes.”-I reply before reaching for my bag and taking these photos out of my bag. I hand the over to her
and she takes them hesitantly.
“Why do you have my father’s pictures?”

“I believe he is my father.”-I say.
“Your father?”-she chuckles. “Impossible. My father only has 3 children and that’s-...”
“You Thembisile and Thembinkosi right?”-I interrupt her.
“Are you stalking me?”-she looks around clearly alarmed by this.
“No. I’m not stalking you. I just knew someone who could get this information for me. This is what he
told me and gave me.”
“Well all he said and gave to you is bullshit. My father was married. For years even and he was madly in
love with my mother before he died. He never mentioned anything about another child.”
“Okay... Maybe he didn’t know about me. Maybe he wouldn't tell you guys about me because of the fact
that he was cheating. Look I get this is not making sense right now but...all I want is to know what type
of person he was if not the least.”-I say. The look on her face is enough to have me feeling
uncomfortable.
“I have to go.”-she says and gets up. Before I even know it she’s out of here. My head immediately feels
light.
Wow.
That went horribly.
------------------------------------------------------------------
“Come in.”-she said after opening the door. I do following her into the cosy house. There were pictures
of him on the wall. One of them had the wife in them. It was their wedding day. “You can sit over there.”
“Thanks.”-I sit on the couch. I haven’t seen her since that day she walked out on me. That was last
week... I wonder what made her change her mind.
“Drink?”
“I’m alright.”-I say too quickly. She nods and sits down next to me. This is awkward.
“Okay...I’ll get straight to business. You wanted to know what type of person my father was right?”
You mean MY father.
Anyway...
“Yes.”
“Well. My father had my older brother when he was 18. That was even before he married my mother.
They did however marry two years later. Years down the line he had me. I guess that’s when he had you
too. I’m still wondering how that happened but I guess my parents were fighting and he looked for
comfort somewhere else.”
I give her a look. Somehow I felt like she was saying my mother was a hoe who threw herself at him. I
felt like he was the one who went after her. Got her pregnant and then fled. But then again that’s what
I’d like to think is what happened. Either way I refuse to believe Joshua didn’t love Londiwe. I mean my
mom and...biological father. I sigh and again find myself starring at the pictures that invaded these walls.
I suddenly didn’t like him as much anymore. “Did he work?”
“Hard. He managed to get two of us through university with no fuss. Medical school is not a joke and it
isn’t cheap. He owned about 3 retail stores around Jozi.”
Meanwhile I couldn’t even finish high school and attend those non-cheap universities.
“My dad loved Jazz music. He was a complete fan. He loved sweet things his scotch and playing his
trumpet. He genuinely was a sweet man and a great father. Too bad he never mentioned you.”
Too bad?
I nod supressing the feeling of chuckling.
“Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink?”-Thandeka asks me and I shake my head. I hear the
front door open and close and almost immediately there’s heaviness. Thandeka looks to the direction of
the door which is blocked by this stupid wall.
“Thandeka!”-a voice calls out before the figure comes into full view. She is already all over him squealing
like a baby.
“Big bro!”-her. I already know who that is and I feel my insides drop when that is confirmed. Nathi?
“I’m guessing you missed me?”
“Don’t be stupid. I haven’t seen you since last year and you expect me not to miss you? “-Thandeka says
and finally pulls out of the hug. She hooks this coldblooded man’s arm so comfortably. She clearly has
never seem the worst of him. “Anyway there’s someone you have to meet.”-she pulls him further into
the room before we lock eyes. It is him and it’s taking everything in me to be this calm.
“Nathi this is our sister Azania. Azania this is my...I mean our older brother Nathi”-Thandeka.
“Huh?”-him. He has this confused look on his face. “Sister? Is this a joke!”
“Nope. I didn’t bel-...”
“Did those idiots send you?”
“Idiots?”-Thandeka.
He comes closer and instinctively I shoot up. “Woah you two!”
“Talk! Did they send you?”-him.
“Nathi!”-Thandeka. “No one sent her here I called her here. She just wanted to know more about dad!
Look.”-she reaches for the pictures that I gave her which laid on the room divider.
Nathi grabs them from her and looks at them before at me. “How sure are you that this...I mean she is
telling the truth.”
“We don’t have any of these pictures. Unless you do.”
He looks at me and shakes his head and then at the pictures again. He does this about 5 times before
shoving the pictures back to Thandeka.
“Fuck this.”-he says and storms off to somewhere else in this house. “I’m not believing shit until she gets
a test!”
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
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Chapter 42
Nathi's POV.
What the fuck is this?

Some joke?
Some sick stupid joke?
I’m pissed. Pissed that dad's hoeing led to this. I knew dad was cheating. Heck I’ve seen him a couple of
times with the tramp and I somehow vowed that I’d never tell my mom that because it would hurt her.
But...now I feel gutted about this. He made the tramp pregnant and I almost...I almost...
Fuck this. This is stupid.
My phone rings and I answer immediately. I regret that too. “What?”
“Is that how we answer our phones now?”-she says and I click my tongue.
“Mmasechaba what do you want?”
“I just wanted you to know I miss you already.”
“Really? You just fuckin' wasted my precious seconds to tell me stupid shit like that?”
“Nathi come on I’m trying here.”-she says and I just felt irritated.
“Look I’ll be there in two days. Chill.”-I say and hang up. I should’ve dumped her way before we even
thought about dating. We shouldn’t have even thought about dating. I sigh irritated by these thoughts
and make my way out of here. I needed a word with Azania. I knew she didn’t mention to Thandeka that
I was shady because she wouldn’t have even let me in here. I wanted to know if she really wasn’t after
me because those idiots killed my men. All of them and I had only myself left even though I escaped by
the hairs of my chin. “Where is she?”
“How could you be so rude towards her like that?”-Thandeka says getting up from the couch. I could see
the pure resentment she had towards me because of that. “You couldn’t even just pretend that you had
a bit of manners nje?”
“Where is she?”
“She left!”
“Okay then call her back. “-me.

“So you can threaten her all over again? Who are these idiots you kept on saying sent her huh?”
“Its nothing important.”-I brush her off.
“Didn’t look like that to me. You wanted to rip her head out from where I was standing.”-she
emphasised.
“Look...okay. We have a history.”
“Wait you two dated?”
“What No! Never!”-me. “Just know that we have one.”
She looks at me like I’m crazy before throwing something at me. “You said you wanted to conduct a
stupid test.”-she says. “Go ahead. Nxa.”
I watch her rush upstairs leaving me here with some spit in a tube. What a mighty thing. Now I have to
get this to PTA asap but not right now. I don’t want to think about this. This is not why I came to my
sister’s place. She comes back down and headed to the kitchen. “Where’s Thembi?”
“She went to visit ma.”-Thandeka says while making something for the two of us to eat. “You should
probably do the same.”
“I have to see Buhle first. Then ma.”
“Mnnn...”
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Azania's POV.
I down my second glass of water and hang onto the sink in the kitchen. I feel drained and equally light
headed. This was the first time I could swear I came face to face with Nathi and I didn’t break down the
moment I left. Yes I felt scared...but I didn’t break down.
“Okay I love you too my boys.”-I hear Xavier say. “Wait...Aunty Azania is back. Baby say hi.”-he says
turning the screen towards me. It’s a video call between him Matt and Luke.
Sheesh.
Their faces immediately light up and I can’t help but fall in love with them all over again. Gosh I missed
them. “Hey! How are you guys?”-I smile and eye Xavier. Not liking the fact that he just shoved the ipad
in my hands.
“We miss you.”-Matt says.
“I miss you more than Matt does.”-Luke says and giggles.
“I miss you both even more...you should come visit soon if you want to.”-I mumble away. Luke can’t
help but be his free spirited self and yell right there and then. This kid. I chuckle. “Yeah...I have to go
now okay.”-I say and give the tablet back to Xavier. I honestly wasn’t feeling okay right now and he
could be another mad man getting angry about the fact that I didn’t say goodbye to them.
I throw myself onto our bed and force myself to sleep.
---
“Zania...baby... Wake up...”-He says lightly shaking me. “Come have some dinner.”
“Dinner? What time is it? “-I ask while sitting up.
“Past 19h00.”
Well that means I’ve been asleep for 3 hours straight. What’s weird is the fact that it felt like I’ve been
sleeping for longer than those hours. He gently helps me off the bed and we head downstairs. Where’s
Logan? Oh. Sleeping.
“Sit over here my lovely specimen.”
“Specimen? Somebody better be taking that back.”-I chuckle.
“Never. Now here you go.”-he hands me a plate of food and I’m impressed. But then again I’m not thee
best cook out there so this is probably not as impressive for them good ole chefs out there. A beautiful
steak asparagus mash and baby carrots. There was a lovely jus on the table and honestly I wanted to dig
in already.
“Can I have some mustard?”
“Mustard?”-Xavier asks and I nod. He frowns but after confirming that I was serious he stood and went
to the kitchen to fetch it. “We haven’t eaten or used this in almost forever but it still smells good. Here.
“-he hands it over to me and I press some on my finger to taste. It was still perfect. I smother my stake in
it and some on my mash. “Well there goes all that flavour.”
“It still tastes amazing though. You want to try some?”
“Nah I’m fine with my Jus thank you very much.”-Xavier says and I shrug and dig in. “So...how did things
go with you and Thandeka or should I say your sister?”
I didn’t want to talk about this but not telling him would probably cause conflict between us. And I’d
rather have the satisfaction of telling him myself then having someone else tell him. “You told me so. I
got there and we talked and not even long into that guess who walked in? Notorious himself.”-I chuckle
away thinking of how the universe just seemed to work.
One moment he’s a stone cold hearted human and on the other he’s apparently my brother. I even envy
how much love Thandeka showed him today because I cant do that. I can’t even pretend.
“Did he touch you?”-He asks eyes squinted and ablaze.
“No. He didn’t.”-Me. He honestly didn’t.
“Did he talk to you?”
“Obviously. He did talk.”-okay that’s enough.
“What did he say?”

“Nothing you should worry about because I’m fine. Now can we talk about something else please. “-I
suggest chucking the whole not telling anyone will cause conflict speech out of the window. He looks
frustrated by my aversion but it really isn't that interesting anyway. All he asked me was if I was sent and
nothing more.
“So Xander's 1st birthday is coming up soon.”
“Wait its almost December?”-I ask.
“Yeah...so what do we do for him?”-he asks and eats. I do the same thinking hard about this. With so
much going on I never thought I’d have to plan for my son’s birthday.
So yeah...what do we do.
“Won’t that be a waste though? I mean he surely won’t even remember it when he’s older.”
“But we will. We will take photos of it and show him on the day of his 10th birthday. How about that?”
“What if he sees them before?”
“He won’t. We have to ensure that.”-he says confidently and drinks the juice next to him.
And we spend an hour talking about the theme invites and snacks that we could possibly have at this
party. A whole party for a toddler. I shake my head and clear the table. After washing the dishes I join
Xavier by the lounge and watch him type some things on his laptop. I peek and see that he was
genuinely busy writing down everything we said and more.
“Lol don’t tell Xander.”-him. “Its a surprise.”
“You’re an idiot.”-I laugh.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following morning I wake up to an empty space next to me. He must be gone already. I turn to look
at the energetic human who can’t seem to keep his excitement down. He stood with the bars of his crib
and the moment he saw me giving him attention he sucked it all in. “Okay I’m awake shhhh.”-me. Gosh.
He copies the ‘shhhh' and I roll my eyes. I force myself out of bed and quickly make it before getting
Logan from his crib. I can’t help but smother him in kisses earning a few giggles from him. “mama loves
you... Even if you drain me. “-I say and again attack him with kisses.
“Dada.”
“No...Mama.”-me. Honestly
Sehranmagzine.com
I spend more time with this boy but he’s always said dada first. I roll my eyes and we make our way out
of here. I put him in his chair and strap him in before getting his food ready. I fed him because it is quite
less messy when I don’t. After that I make my own. I eat and rinse our dishes before heading up again
for our baths. I dress him up in one of his grey shorts and a blue top. Dressing him in white would
probably be the worst thing ever since he just would crawl everywhere.
I get dressed in a black sleeveless bodysuit black track pants and grey sneakers. For a person who’s as
tired as I was I surely looked quite good. I haven’t said that about myself lately but it’s true. I put Logan
downstairs where he’s pretty much free to roam and do whatever while I got down to some cleaning. I
put some laundry in the washing machine and it’s not long before I hear something dropping.
“Logan!”-I rush to the kitchen to see what he had just dropped. “What the hell.”-I pick up the
centrepiece of the coffee table which now laid on the floor and put it on a higher surface. The boy just
looks at me like he did absolutely nothing. Hopefully nothing else gets dropped by invader. I chuckle at
that thought before continuing off with my attempt at cleaning. At around 15h00 I felt a little satisfied.
Logan is dead asleep and I get to use this more given free time to work on my webpage. Fiancé dearest
did an amazing job on this. When I check my inbox I’m bombarded with messages.
Crap.
I reply to them and even ask a few if they were still interested which indeed I hope they were cause this
is money we’re talking about here. After sorting out that part of my life I decide to get started on
supper. A call interrupts my beginner chopping skills. “Athe.”
“Girl you never called me.”-he complains and I find myself frowning.
“You said you’d call me.”-me. He laughs.
“You should’ve called me still hau.”-he says and I put him on loudspeaker so I could continue chopping
in peace.
“Next time I will.”

“Good...what are you doing?”
“Cooking. Or atleast trying to.”
“What do you mean you’re trying to?”-he chuckles.
“I’m not much of a cook in fact I knew nothing about cooking until I started dating Xavier. Basically
before that I’d just burn up some toast make some scrambled eggs and a cup of tea then viola. My
cooking.”-I say. That was also optional when I had Zama around.
“Well at least you’re honest about this and bitch you’re trying.”-him.
“You know it.”
“You free tomorrow? “-he asks.
“You know I’m always free.”
“Great I’ll definitely be popping by then for both our pleasures. I’ll bring delicacies.”-he says and we end
the call after saying our goodbyes.
---
“Honey!”
“In the kitchen!”-I yell back. He’s got perfect timing. “Hey.”-me. He pecks my cheek and starts
investigating my pots. “Say it.”
“What? They look good.”-he says and I badly want to believe him.
“If that’s so then...go change and I’ll dish up.”
He nods and takes Logan upstairs with him. I’m not exactly sure why though but it’s his son. I take out
two plates and start dishing up. Soon enough his handsome self comes walking down the stairs again
looking more comfortable. “Stop starring.”-him.
“Cant I admire what’s mine?”-I ask grabbing the two plates and we make our way to the lounge. He
gives Logan a piece of the chicken I made. “I literally just fed him.”
“Its just a piece of meat Zania.”-he shrugs. I surrender and we start digging in. It’s quiet and I’m
wondering if I’m hitting the correct notes with this meal. “This is actually very edible.”
I get up to go get some mustard.
“Edible? Really? You couldn’t use all the other words rather tha-...”
“Okay okay...I meant it’s good. Really it is.”-he saves his tiny ass. After eating I manage to tell him about
Athenkosi coming over tomorrow and he had no problem with that. He then bombarded me with two
things. Our wedding and the birthday party. Honestly I didn’t see the point of having a party for Logan
now but it’s what Xavier wants and I wont fight him with that. I gather the two plates and go to wash
them before we prepared for bed even though Logan wasn’t cooperating.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Its 18h00. The moment Athe enters through the doors of this house there’s life in here. He's beyond late
but his smile is lovely and warm and like he said earlier he came baring snacks. Or as he said delicacies.
We settle by the lounge and really get a chance to catch up on things.
“I went to see my parents earlier today yeses hectic.”- he says unpacking the stuff he bought. The first
thing I see and want and grab are a bag of potato chips with my name on them.
I’m lying but these were mine now.
“You’ve never spoken about your parents.”-I say.
“Well that’s because they don’t necessarily agree with how I live.”
“You mean with you being...gay and stuff?”
He nods. “Yeah.”
“Wow even after seven years they’re still the same?”-I ask. Seven years is long and damn how much
longer were they going to hate on their own child for being true to themselves.
“Girl it’s frustrating actually. The problem is that I want them in my life but they honestly act holier than
thou. It’s sickening. Anyway I went there to suggest that I renovate their house but it just seemed like I
made things worse.”-he says pouring himself a glass of wine. I open up the potato chips and dig in.
Eww.
“What flavour is this?”-I mumble to myself before checking on the label.
Cheese and onion.
“Are you okay?”-Athe asks.
“Yeah...I’m fine it’s just that these chips taste a bit off. Anyway you were saying...?”-I say and watch as
Athe grabs two out of the pack.
“I was just saying that now they resent me. I even feel like they want nothing to do with me you know.
And I’m not ready for that sort of detachment you know.”-he says and eats.
“Yeah.”
“Azay these taste fine nje what’s wrong with you.”
“You honestly can’t taste that? Here have more.”-I offer and he takes some more chips and eats them. I
frown. “This is weird.”
“Very cause these taste absolutely fine...unless...”
“Unless what? “-I give him a look.
“Unless they’re not your favourite or someone has been getting it raw.”-he says and laughs off the last
bit. I wasn’t following at all. “Oh my goshlings Azay are you P.R.E.G.N.A.N.T?”-he spells out in a whisper
and I find myself choking at that after putting the word together.
“Pregnant? What? Me? Pregnant? No no no no no. “-I get off the highchair in frantic panic. “I’m not
pregnant. It can’t be.”
“Come on babe...there has to an explanation then...have you had any symptoms maybe? You know
maybe nausea? A Missed period? Or even a craving?”-him.
Oh my goodness I can’t believe we’re talking about this. I can’t even believe I’m actually thinking about
this. I rush to quickly grab my phone from the couch and search on the internet for anything really about
symptoms and the results feel like a hard kick in the gut. “Crap.”-I whisper and turn back to Athenkosi.
“I’m about to freak out.”
“Don’t okay maybe we could dash off to the pharmacy and buy a home pregnancy test and then take it
from there. What do you think?”-He says and I nod rapidly. I’m sure this test will ease out everything
and we can come back to enjoy the rest of this day while laughing this whole scare away.
I go and fetch Logan from upstairs in his sleepy state and secure him in Athe's car.
As we drove to this Pharmacy I couldn’t help but think of the worst outcome. At this point in time when I
didn’t even want a baby. I had to allow my body to suffer once again. I had to possibly give birth again
and I wasn’t ready. We are not ready. Im not ready. I’m still dealing with stuff. I’m still dealing with
Nathi. I’m still in my healing process and now another Xavier could be on it’s way. I’m not ready for the
sleepless nights and days the nappy changes and the breastfeeding. My painting...gosh its not even up
there yet but I’m baking again. I thought I was careful. Xavier and I aren’t even married yet but...
We haven’t even gotten a chance to be us...
Crap. Crap. I can’t have this baby if the results were to come out positive.
I doubt I’d even tell Xavier if I did terminate. I don’t want to even be thinking like this.
“Here they are.”-Athe says coming back into the car. He hands me the plastic and I check it’s contents. 3
pregnancy tests and a lollipop.
When we get back I immediately rushed to the bathroom to get this over and done with. Athe stayed
with a now Logan. I rush downstairs to Athe who’s timing the whole thing. “Give me one and go put
another one under the coffee table. The other one stays with you.”-he says and rests on the bottom of
the stairs and lets Logan go to roam. I hand him one stick and keep the other two.
“Did you even rinse this?”

“What do you mean?”-I ask.
“Like Im touching your pee right now?”
“You asked for the stupid stick and now you’re going to ask me stupid stuff?”
“Yoh aii ke just go.”-him. I sigh and drag myself all the way to that coffee table and put it under it. I find
myself staring at it. Begging it to be negative. Pleading with it to be on my side of things. “Aren’t you
coming back?”-He asks and I make my way back to where he was sitting. He makes space for me to sit
right next to him at the bottom of these stairs.
The wait....
Sheesh.
“What will you do if you are...well...P.R.E.G.N.A.N.T?”-Athe asks. I look at Logan. I wonder what time it
is.
“I don’t know. I really don’t...”-I chuckle. “I swear when it says negative I’m never having sex with Xavier
ever again.”
“That’s just sad.”-he laughs.
“Gosh...I don’t want to be P.R.E.G.N.A.N.T...I don’t.”-I state and sigh. I doubt I’d even want to keep it. I
hate this thought for even crossing my mind again. I don’t like this feeling. I thought abortions stayed
back in my teenage years where I didn't have a choice but now that I do...
The timer on Athe's phone goes off and my panic starts all over again.
“I don’t want to do this.”-me.
“Relax hau it can’t be that bad.”-Athe says.
I shake my head and check my stick.
“There’s one line...oh my gosh there’s one line!”-I shoot up. Joy evident in me. Sheesh. This
felt...amazing. “Athe I’m not pregnant.”
“Well this calls for a celebration then.”-Athe says getting up from the stairs and goes to the lounge to
fetch the other test that was under the table I assume.
“Wine? Gosh I wish I had some bubbly lying around in my cupboard or something.”-I get the wine Athe
bought and fill our glasses. I give Logan his juice box. “Athe...come hau.”-I turn to look at him as he
slowly made his way to me.
“Azay...”
“Yes?”-Me.
“I think you may want to hold off of that wine for now. “-he says.
“Why?”-I frown.
“These two...are positive.”-he says.
My face drops almost immediately after he says that. My head feels like it’s going in circles.
“What?”-I can’t even hear myself properly.
“Look.”-he gives them both to me.
I try focussing on what’s in front of me but it suddenly feels too hot in here and the spinning more rapid.
Even my knees feel weak.
“Azania are you-...”
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
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Chapter 43
“Girl...girl...”-Athe calls out to me. I open my eyes but quickly close them again when I feel water being
sprinkled onto my face.
“Stop...stop it.”-I block with my hand and he finally stops. My legs are on a chair while the rest of my
body laid flat on the ground. I feel him pat on my face with a dry cloth before gently helping me up on
my feet.
“I fainted?”
“Dead on. It looked like a scene from the damn movies.”-he chuckles but I find nothing quite thrilling
about that. I have fainted before and honestly I don't like the experience. I look at Athe as he returned
the chair.
Where’s my son!
Oh...here. “how long have I been out.”-me.
“About 20 minutes. Nothing hectic. But you’re heavy when you’re unconscious. “-he complains.
“Are you saying I’m fat? “
“What no I'm just saying you’re heavy.”-Athe says.
“Heavy as in fat? Oh my gosh.”-I sink to the floor and start wailing my eyes out.
“Haibo Azay... This baby is messing with you already.”
Logan is busy tapping on my leg wanting my undivided attention and affection but I’m just not there.
Somehow I even found him very very irritating. “Are you ignoring Logan?”
“Do you want to take him?”-Me.

“Yoh I have to go so no...”-he chuckles and forces me up from the floor. “...your man will probably be
here in no time cause I called him when you were out cold. I panicked.”
“Whatever...go.”-I sulk. He makes me face him and that cloth is out to play again on my face
“You’re too pretty to cry so stop. Get a grip on yourself or get some rest to refresh your mind. You owe
yourself that. Go I’ll clean up here .”-Him. “Bye Logan.”
“Tatata.(bye)”-Logan responds waving to Athe before I pick him up and make my way upstairs. I trusted
him that much with my house I guess. Once in our bedroom I put Logan in his crib.
“Please sleep...”-I ask but instead he looks at me with his blue eyes. I suddenly didn’t know what I was
doing. He sits down still looking at me.
I eventually rock him to sleep and then head to the bedroom to wash my face. I hear the bedroom door
open and close and I immediately knew it was Xavier. Since the bathroom door was wide open I saw him
making his way here tossing his keys onto the bed. Gosh. I reach for a face towel and pat my face dry. He
stands behind me our eyes lock on the mirror. He suddenly smiles and turns me around to face him
before smothering my whole face with kisses. “Thank you... thank you... thank you...”-he mumbles in
between each kiss.
When he finally stops I get a chance to breathe. “Why didn’t you tell me we are expecting? “-He asks still
smiling broadly. By now I’m certain that he saw the tests which I wish I removed and gotten rid of on my
own before he got here because now there certainly is no way of hiding this from him.
“I...I just found out.”-I explain my voice too low. He suddenly lifts me up and starts spinning us around. If
this was on any other day I’d be enjoying this...but right now I didn’t and it was making me nauseous.
“Xavier please...”-me. He stops and abruptly puts me down. Still smiling. Still delighted.
He goes down on one knee and puts his head on my stomach. Listening to...my digestive system? Cause
there’s nothing there yet. Okay there is but not much to do what he’s doing right now. He puts his hands
on my waist and squeezes.
Gosh.
Why am I tearing up again?
I remove his hands and walk away from where we were. I wipe my tears away and sit on the edge of the
bed resting my hands on my knees. I can hear him walking towards me but I cant bring myself to look at
him. Not when he’s this excited about this and I’m...not.
“Okay...I’m starting to get the feeling that we’re not exactly on the same page right now ...What’s wrong
my love...?”-him.
I finally look up at him and sigh heavily. He’s not smiling anymore...he just looks worried instead. “Is
something wrong?”-him.
“I...I’m sorry...it’s just that this came as a shock.”
“I’m shocked too baby especially since you were on the pill.”
“Exactly! I didn’t want this! I don’t want this Xavier.”-I say watching how the glimpse of a smile he had
on his face vanish once more. I hug myself.
“What do you mean you don’t want this?”-He frowns.
“I...I’m just not ready to have another baby Xavier...I’m not. I’m dealing with a lot of crap right now and
personally I think it’s too soon right now for baby number two.”-I wipe the tears that streamed down my
face. I could feel how my top got wet from the ones I allowed to fall.
“Wow.”-he shakes his head. “So...are you saying you want to abort?”
I keep quiet. I don’t know if I should speak or just keep quiet.
“Azania answer me. Do you want to fucking abort!”-he snaps and I wish the earth could swallow me up.
“Yes...”-I breathe out and that alone made me hate myself.
“Wow.”-he whispers. “Wow.”
It’s tense for a few seconds before he starts heading for the door after grabbing his keys from the bed.
“Where are you going?”-I get up. He just looks at me and without even trying to answer me leaves. I
follow him. “Xavier...come on...”
“Leave me alone Azania.”
“No where are you going?”-we practically jog down the stairs. “Xavier...”
He doesn’t answer me. He instead leaves. I’m left stunned at the doorway by how things turned out
right now. I hear him drive off and I was still wondering where he was off to. My good reasoning side
wanted to believe he needed some air he wanted a moment to think and process things but another
side of me just felt like he would do something stupid. Like injure himself...or maybe even spot some
good looking booty out there.
These were thoughts I didn’t want to think about. Absolutely not. I collect myself and make my way to
the kitchen where Athe left all these Delicacies. The tests were right there on the countertop making it
look like it was a surprise. I sit on one of the highchairs and pull out a fruit salad platter with yoghurt dip
from the basket. I stuff my miserable face. The yoghurt just made the whole thing taste terrible so I eat
the fruit on it’s own. So now it’s two things that I probably can’t stomach.
The hours fly by and I’ve eaten almost a quarter of this basket with only a third of it not sitting well on
my pallet. I get up and search for my phone expecting to find atleast one message from him telling me
where he is right now but nothing. It’s midnight already.
I try calling him but the phone just rang to no answer. I tried him a couple more times before giving up. I
find myself dialling Suzanné. I’m desperate if anything else. It rings and she eventually answers.
“Hey Anné... Look sorry for calling so late but I just wanted to know if you’ve spoken to Xavier or heard
from him tonight. “-me.
I sound like someone who can’t control their man.
Not that I want to control Xavier or anything...
“Xavier? Why? Did he say he was going to talk to me?”-she asks.
At this hour?
“No...”
“Well I haven’t seen or spoken to him. Sorry. But I can try calling him for you if you want?”
“Its alright. I’ll try him again. I’m sure he’s just running late.”-I lie.
“Okay. Bye.”
“Thanks. Bye.”-The call ends and I feel lost. I don’t know where my man is and I’m the one who drove
him out of here.
I was about to try him again when I heard the call pull up in the driveway. I sigh relieved at his return but
I couldn’t help but wonder what he’d say the moment he stepped through that door. How will he act?
How will I act? Will we even be on talking terms?
I hear him struggle with the door before it shoots open and he stumbles in. There’s an immediate
stench. He smells like a brewery. His shirt is loose and his hair is a mess.
All this because of what I said?
“Xavier...”
“Shhhh...shhhh...don’t speak.”-he places a finger firmly on my lips and I move away from it.
“How much alcohol did you have? You even had the nerve to drive in your drunken state? Xavier you
could’ve injured yourself and others around you.”-he stumbles again before holding on to my shoulders.
“Stop acting like you care.”
“What do you mean stop acting? I’m not acting.”
“Selfish...”-he slurred.
“Huh?”
“That's what you are.”
“What? Selfish?”
“Isn't it obvious. You’re selfish Azania. You want to kill our baby...I mean your baby because you’re
nothing but a self-centred bitch who only thinks about herself.”-he says and I feel blank.
What?
All this because of what I said?
My body feels cold. I step away from him letting his hands drop.
“You only think about yourself Azania and I’m getting sick of it. It’s like its always about what you’re
going through and never about us.”-he chuckles. “I sometimes wish I never met you...I should’ve let you
whore for the rest of your life. You’re a curse on legs.”
He reaches into his pants' pocket retrieves a piece of paper and throws it at me. “Go kill your baby
Azania. Go.”-he slurred and began walking away struggling up the stairs. I was still frozen on the same
spot biting hard on my cheeks soaking in his words. Words that hit deep. Deeper than poetry. I bent to
pick up the paper he threw at me.
Marie Stopes Clinic 0835746385 In Hammanskraal Johannesburg
That was what was on the card.
All this because of what I said.
I didn’t even need anymore information to know what this was about. I didn’t even need him to say
more since he hurt me a lot already. But...maybe he was too drunk...
And as much as I wanted to believe that It dawned on me that drunks tell the truth.
I make my way downstairs heartbroken beyond anything. He’s on the bed heartbroken beyond
anything. He’s on the bed face down snoring away like nothing happened. Like he didn’t just call me
selfish.
I’m actually surprised I’m not even crying yet...wait...no...I try blinking them away but they succeed.
“I sometimes wish I never met you...”
I choke. The lump in my throat making itself known. I find myself in the walk in closet picking out some
of my clothes and some of Logan's. Yes. He wishes he never met me so I’ll make that a reality and never
come back. He’ll never see me ever again. I’ll never call him again. I’ll stay away since I’m curse on legs.
The first bag is already full. I can’t take everything even if I wanted to.
2 full bags my toiletries and Logan's diaper bag with most of his toys his food and bathing things. That
should be all. I go to put all these bags downstairs and head upstairs for my boy. I’m that selfish. After
taking him and a few throws I leave. Once downstairs I get my phone out to call the only person I knew
could possibly help me right now.
It rings.
“Athe...”
“Why aren’t you asleep? You’re pregnant. You should be resting.”
“I...I know...but we need a place to crash for a few days...please.”-me.
“We?”
“Logan and I.”-I clarify.
“Oh sure then. Is everything okay?”
“Not really...and I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
“That’s fine. So should I come and fetch you or...?”-he asks.
“I’ll take a cab. Don’t worry. Thank you.”
“I’ll send you the location.”-he hangs up and I sigh. I’m really doing this. I’m really leaving.
After calling an uber I go and sit outside by the step with the bags next to me. Logan is still asleep and I’d
prefer he did so until tomorrow morning when things are a bit clearer. The uber finally shows up and I
bid the guard on watch goodbye before leaving.
--------------------------------------------------------
The following morning I awaken to Logan slapping my face with his cold hands. When I open my eyes he
quickly looks away laughing. “Who did that?”-I ask on purpose and he looks at me again. Blushing like
crazy. I quickly sit up grab him and place him on my lap before tickling him. His laugh warms my heart
and for a second I forget that we’re at Athe's place. I stop tickling him and as always smother him with
genuine kisses.
He returns some of them too.
I check his nappy and put him down when it’s still okay. After making the bed I go to open some
curtains. It’s drizzling outside. A beautiful view. I hug myself thinking of how tired I was from the lack of
sleep. I couldn’t since the only thing that rang in my head right now was what Xavier said to me. I don’t
think if any other human said that to me I’d be reacting the way I am.
It’s the fact that the one I’ve claimed to love for so long and not a random stranger said that.
A knock on the door distracts me.
“Azay?”-Athe called on the other side.
“Yeah?”-I wipe my tears away.
“You should come down for some breakfast okay.”
“I’m coming.*-me. I gather myself and go to the guest bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face.
I probably should’ve asked if they eat with pyjamas or not...but to be a little decent I get my robe and
put it on. I take Logan and his own food downstairs with me.
Sheesh.
“Morning.”-I greet trying on a smile since there was a lady in uniform I didn’t know here.
“Hey come...I want you to meet Mrs X.”-Athe.
Oh so that’s who she is.
“Mrs X this is my best friend Azania Azay this over here is the other woman in my life Mrs Xulu.”
“Hi.”-I say.
“You seem shy.”-She says.
“Whuu this one is not even close to being shy...she’s just going through something.”
“Something? I see a ring on your finger you married?”-Mrs Xulu.
“Uhmm...”
“She’s not. She's someone’s fiancé.”-Athe chips in. I give him a look. Logan is awfully quiet.
“Is he the cute boy's father?”-she asks.
I nod.
She’s asking too much.
“Is he the reason why you’re here?”-her again.
“Mrs X I think that’s enough manje (now). Cool down and lets just have some breakfast.”
I agree.
“Sizwe!”-Athe yells.
“Im coming!”-Sizwe yells back. Athe rolls his eyes and redirects us to his dining area. The breakfast had
already been laid out. From eggs to bacon to toast.
Sizwe is Athe's husband if you were wondering. I met him yesterday or logically earlier today. He’s
sweet.
---
“He's calling again.”-Athe says. I know. I’ve been watching it ring for the past hour. I felt bad believe me
but I didn’t want to talk to him. “Come on Azay...at least hear what he has to say.”
“Who’s side are you even on?”
“No one’s side. I don’t even know what transpired between the two of you.”
“Then don’t mind it.”-me.
It stops ringing and I get off the couch to fetch the wandering Logan.
“Hey No it’s Athenkosi...”-I quickly turn to face him. The heck! “...don’t worry she’s alive...okay Azay
here...”
“What?”
“He wants to talk to you.”
“I don’t want to talk to him. You know that.”-He rolls his eyes putting the phone back on his ear.
“She says she doesn’t want to talk to you...Okay...bye.”
I put Logan between the two of us but he wasn’t having any of it. Seconds later he’s back on the floor.
Sigh.
“So...what did he say?”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk to him.”-he says.
“I don’t vele (obviously)”-I shrug.
He chuckles. “I’m kidding my friend...he said he’ll try calling later and he loves you.”
I chuckle this time around. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Rendani's POV.
I lay in bed nursing a headache from the crying I did yesterday. The crying from my late boyfriend and
baby father. Days have gone by but it still felt fresh and painful. I don’t even think I’ve had proper sleep
since and not because of Lufuno. I get up since she was crying again. She’s beautiful and an angel at
times.
I pick her up and try hushing her before resorting to breastfeeding. Soon enough she falls asleep again. I
put her down slowly before going to the kitchen to make myself something to eat.
“Morning Rendani.”-Lutendo says walking in. I know he’s been awake for quite a while since the TV is on
and there’s an empty bowl of cereal on the counter.
“Rinse your dish Luu.”-I get yesterday’s leftovers warmed in the microwave.
“Okay.”-he sighs. He takes the dish and rinses it. He reminded me so much of Ghana. His smile and his
charm. It was not easy to miss really but our relationship is terrible. I don’t know him that much and I
wish I did. Maybe then he wouldn’t call me Rendani. Maybe he’d call me Mama instead of calling his
gran that.
“Rendani I want to go visit pops today.”-him.
“It’s raining today Luu we’ll try tomorrow.”
“Will mama be coming with us tomorrow? “
“I...yes.”-Me. She comes around a lot here. Because of Lufuno. She’s always wanted another grandchild
to flaunt and since she lost her son baby Lufuno is filling a void.
He goes to sit down again watching his favourite cartoon show. Regular show. I go join him after my
food is completed. There should be a conversation right now but there isn't. Maybe I should just start
one.
I clear my throat and he looks at me. “So...what is this show all about?”
“Two slackers.”
“You mean those two. The blue one and the brown one?”
He nods. “That one is Mordecai... “-He points to the blue one. “...that one is Rigby.”-the brown one.
“Oh...they look funny.”
“They are. Especially when they do something stupid to save the day or just get warnings from Benson.”
“Benson?”
“That gumball machine.”-he says. I giggle.
“Those are the thinnest legs I’ve ever seen.”
“You should see how big pops head is.”

“Oh my...”-some pink big headed guy appears and that’s when I hear Lufuno cry. I sigh. Such perfect
timing. I get up and rush to her. Gosh I didn’t even get a chance to eat.
She stops crying minutes later with her still wide awake. I change her nappy and then go back to
Lutendo. “Don’t tell me it’s finished.”
“It is.”
I sulk playfully and settle next to him again. “So is there another one coming on? “
“Nope but we can watch SpongeBob SquarePants.”-he changes the channel.
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Azania's POV.
I’m at Xavier's mom's place to drop her grandson off for his visit. I may be mad at Xavier but his mom
didn’t do anything. She greets me and allows me into her house. I don’t plan on staying here long since I
could sense she knew I have been “Missing” for the past two days. I didn’t want the questions.
“You okay?”-she asks as I put him down.
Oh they have started.
“I’m good.”
“You are?”
“Yes. I am. Look I really have to go.”
“I’m sure you do but we have to talk.”
No we don’t. I want to run out of here as in yesterday.
“About what?”
“You know exactly what. You left my son all on his own in the middle of the night with no explanation
whatsoever. You can’t do that.”-she says.
“I can’t? With all due respect ma you should mind your own business. Bye.”-I leave.
The moment I step out I regret ever coming here. He has just parked outside at the driveway and jogs
out of the car without even turning off the engine. I walk off to the other side and start jogging away but
evidently I’m too slow. He grabs me by my upper arm and out of reflex I slap him. He shakes his head
nursing the slapped area with his free hand.
“I deserve that.”-him. I slap him again.
“Let me go.”
“Please give me a chance to explain okay.”-I slap him again.
“I don’t want to hear it.”
“Look okay I was drunk.”
“Good for you Xavier. Good for you. Now let me go before I slap you again.”
“Slap me all you want baby but I just you to hear me out.”
“I think I’ve heard enough from you Xavier. Like how you think I’m a self-centred bitch who only thinks
about herself...or like how you said you should’ve let me whore my life away...or maybe like how you
said I’m a curse you wish you never met.”-me.
I take the clinic card he gave to me -that I’ve been keeping on me since I got it- and throw it back at him.
He watches it fall and then looks back at me. Red cheek and no response. I free my arm from his hold.
“I have an appointment to get to.”

SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
44
Chapter 44
“I hope you like it.”-I smile nervously standing next to her painting. I remove the sheet and she gasps.
Eyes and mouth wide.
“Are you shitting me?”-she says and I feel a piece of me die inside. “This is perfect. I love it!”
“Really?”
“Yes you captured my true essence and emotion in this artwork.”-she says and I finally get a chance to
smile properly.
Thank the almighty!
“Let me pay you quickly. “-she says and I go fetch some wrapping plastic to cover it up. My phone
vibrates in my pocket and I take it out to check what it was.
My money!
She even added a couple of hundreds to make this moment extra special.
After she leaves I’m left alone in my tiny apartment. I can't believe this is where I've ended up now
especially after everything. It’s been two months of anger verbal fights and cold shoulders. I could easily
say that Xavier's mom seemed to dislike me after each visit drop off and pick up especially after the
whole abortion thing.
There were times where she wouldn't greet me. I kept strong and made sure I ignored her stares for my
sanity.
Xavier? Well the guy looks terrible. I’ve seen him on a couple of occasions like on Logan's infamous small
half planned birthday party. I’ve seen him playing with Logan at his mom’s house and I’ve seen him at a
new year’s celebration Anné threw that was attended by the likes of her husband son Olivia her new
boyfriend and the two of us. Believe me when I say every meeting was awkward and tense.
I also heard that...he quit from his job a day after new years. What drove him to that decision? I’m not
sure.
Thandeka and I have been talking and I found out that Nathi has gone MIA again. I suspect the test came
back with news he didn’t like.
I go get myself some water from my fridge before settling down on my tiny couch. I hated days when I
was alone here. The day would just drag unnecessarily. I’d keep myself busy with listening to radio or
painting. Sigh.
---
I received a text from Athe asking me to come over since he was also home and dying of boredom. I
went to freshen up and get dressed in a pink short loose summer dress. My short hair looked dire so I
put a weave on and pair the dress with white flip flops. I put on some make up and grab a pear before
leaving with my bag and phone at hand. My cab was already waiting outside.
The ride is short and quiet.
Athe lets me in we share a hug and he asks me to wait for him.
“We’re going out. Lunch is on me.”-he yells going up the stairs.

“Don’t take forever then.”-I yelled back. I was not relaxed at all. The last time I was here for a whole
week I had Mrs X on my case. I didn’t like how she’d look at me and how she’d become too personal.
She walks in through the backdoor carrying a broom. “Azania.”
“Hi Mrs Xulu.”-I return her awkward smile.
“Don’t smile like that young lady.”
Sheesh.
Okay.
“Have you gone back to your fiancé?”-she asked. I ignore her. She was honestly too nosey for my liking.
Minutes that felt like hours later Athe comes strolling down the stairs. My friend looked like a million
bucks honestly. I get up and meet him halfway. I wanted out of here fast. “It’s tense in here.”-He says.
“Lets just go okay. I’m hungry now.”
“Bye Mrs X.”-Athe.
“Bye.”-She says giving me a look.
We get into Athe's car and drive off.
When we get to the restaurant we settle down and get a chance to order something to eat.
“You really don’t like Mrs X.”-Athe says. I pout.
“What makes you say that?”-I put my hand on my chest.
“You’re a terrible actor.”
“Say that when I’m famous.”-I flip my weave and look to my side.
Eh.
“Wena? Famous? Keep dreaming.”-he chuckles.
“You know her?”-I point with my eyes. He catches the hint and looks to where I was indicating. The lady
looks away.
“No...I don’t...she was looking at you?”
“More like staring actually. Anyway when is our order arriving.”-me. Just then the waiter arrives with
our food. “Thank you.”
“Enjoy.”-The waiter says and leaves. I dig in.
“She’s staring at you again.”
“Huh?”
“The white girl.”-Athe says and I frown looking back. My gosh she is staring and honestly it was starting
to become a little creepier now.
---
The day ended and I found myself back at my apartment with a bowl of popcorn on my lap. Today was
‘fun'...but like any other day I couldn’t help but think of Xavier. Think of what he’s doing right now...and
maybe even why he wasn’t calling me anymore. I know it’s not fair of me to even want that from him
but it felt like we really were giving up. Like we were really ending things.
I look at the ring on my finger. This is the same ring that made me feel so special not so long ago. This is
the same ring I’ve been contemplating on returning more than once since I’ve left. This is the same ring I
want to keep forever. I bite on the insides of my cheeks and get my phone. I dial. I hang up. I can’t do
this.
--------------------------------------------------
“So you left?”-She asks me.
“Yes! I’ve told you this before already Nkateko.”-me. I have. I really have.
“I understand that but you also have to understand that the last time you were here you couldn’t talk as
openly. I barely got to understand what led you to leaving.”
“You want me to tell you everything again?”-I sigh.
“Wouldn’t hurt.”-she taps on her clipboard. “Now...he comes back home what happens?”
I tell her everything. From him seeing the pregnancy tests to the heavy words to me packing and leaving
and like always she nods and writes.
When she finally looks up I’m anxious.

“Would you have stayed if he said those words with a sober mind?”-her.
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“What I’m trying to understand is why you would leave in the middle of the night.”-her.
“What did you want me to do? Stay for the night and leave in the morning? I’m struggling to see the
difference here.”
“Azania what I’m trying to say is you shouldn’t have run away like that. Yes I heard what he said but in
order for couples to have a long lasting relationship that is solid there has to be communication. I know
saying ‘I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was saying’ doesn’t cut it anymore but You can't do what
you did to the person you love.”
“Are you saying I don’t love Xavier? I didn’t say I don’t love him.”-me.
“I know. And I’m not justifying what he said to you. All I’m trying to say is there had to be a better
solution for you than to just leave like that.”-she says and I roll my eyes.
I did it already though...this feels useless.
“Do you think you’re selfish?”-she asks. Woah.
“No. I don’t.”
“Why...would he say you are selfish?”
“Selfish...all I did was stand for what I believed was right. I made a decision about my body and I got
crucified for it. Was I wrong for thinking about my wellbeing? I have and had any right to do whatever I
wanted to do with my body.”-I say and I could feel how my emotions were going to get the better of me.
“I get that but I also want you to see that you’re not an ‘I' anymore. You are a ‘WE' now. An ‘US'.
Meaning considering the other whenever decisions are being made.”
“I...get that.”
“Do you? Look for now I want you to deal and obviously overcome what Xavier said to you as much as it
hurts.”-she says.
“What do I have to do then?”-me
“I have a few exercises that you can try out that could help.”
Zimu. Exercises!
“I want you to go write down your thoughts somewhere and go through each one of them individually.
If need be you can call me and we talk. You can try a few calming exercises...like yoga even meditation.
Think positive. Yes that sounds bogus but try it. Be grateful. Take all the time you need with this. And
lastly put yourself in his shoes for a moment.”- she says already holding 5 fingers up for each point she
mentioned.
I nod. I hope this helps.
×××××××××××××××××××××××
Xavier’s POV.
“Thank you.”-I drive out of the petrol station after refilling. My mom invited me over for lunch weeks
ago and today I’ve finally decided to go and see her and have this lunch with her. It’s the least I can do
for the woman who raised me.
I park in her driveway and the moment I switch off the engine I can’t help but sigh. I step out when I see
her standing at her door. The moment she hugs me I hear her sniff.
“Mom...are you crying?”-I ask and she pulls away averting eye contact.
“No.”-she wipes her tears with the back of her hand. “Come in. Come in.”
I decide to keep quiet before we make our way in. It hurts seeing her cry like this. Once inside I get to
see my boy playing with his toys. He notices me and attempts on getting up with the chair right next to
him. I lift up and hug him.
When the table is all set up I put my boy back down again so he could play. I sit and watch how mom sits
right across me. “I made your favourite.”-she says.
“You made a steak and kidney pie?”-I ask. She nods and gets up cutting me a piece of it. The piece she
cut me was huge and I wasn’t even hungry but I wasn’t going to tell her that. “Thank you.”
“Can you atleast try to sound a bit more excited? “-her.
“I am.”-I bring the plate closer.
“Okay...there’s veg in here too...and some drinks.”
“This is fine mom. Really I appreciate it.”-I grab a fork and pick at the pie.
“You’re not eating...”
“I will.”
“Xavier.”-her. I look up and she’s starring at me. “Talk to me.”
“About what?”
“I can see you’re not okay...what is wrong?”
“Nothing.”-me.
“Oh come on Xavier!”-she bangs on the table letting go of her cutlery. That action alone made Xander
cry out in shock.
“Mom.”
“Don’t try me Xavier. Don’t! I’m sick and tired of this bull that you keep on putting yourself through for
some girl who clearly doesn’t give two flying fucks about you!”-She scolds me. I’m taken aback by this.
My mom doesn’t shout often so this is shocking. Xander gets louder.
“She’s not just some girl mom she’s my fiancée.”
“Fiancée my foot! Where is she now huh? Where is this fiancée who claims to love you so much after
everything you two have gone through? Where is this stupid fiancée that is going to vow to the Almighty
Lord to stay love and submit to you forever?!”-I see how her tears cascade down her face out of anger.
Her cheeks turning red. She’s not one to speak about my failing relationship like that when her and dad
have been separated for years.
“Mom please just stop... “
“I’m not about to sit and watch you lose your life because of this. Look at you...you’ve lost weight you’re
not eating you quit your job which you’ve had longer than that girl. And when was the last time you
shaved Xavier? When? I can’t do this with you!”-She walks off after taking Xander with her and I’m left
alone with a piece of pie in front of me to no thought. My mind just couldn’t seem to process everything
that was going on right now and that terrified me. Maybe I was just being too ignorant to the things that
are happening right now because I couldn’t handle the fact that I was losing the one person who has
made me feel like a human again.
I get up and leave heading back to that big empty house.
As I drove I thought about how I ended up losing my job because of this. Yes I told them I quit but reality
was I got fired. Three warnings in one month and I was out. Just like that.
The first two were for simply not showing up for work and when I did I just wasn’t productive as my boss
said. The last straw happened when I fought with Mike and ended up breaking his wrist. I regretted it
but he pushed me to it.
I get home and immediately get myself a cold beer from the fridge. I settle on the couch and open it
drinking half in one go. My eyes closed and the only image I could see was me telling Azania all those
terrible things on camera. How she broke down and then just left because of me. What hurt the most
now is that she went and did what I encouraged her to do. I added more fuel instead of blissing the fire
like I should’ve. Some days I’d just want to jump in my car and drive to her apartment...but she still
hated me. The beer is finished within minutes of me getting it and I up to get another. While drinking it I
get a call from my guards.
“Yeah?”
“Sir there’s a young lady to see you here. She says her name is Diana.”-he says.
“Diana?”-I sigh. “Let her in.”
I hang up close my eyes and sink even more into my couch. I haven’t seen Diana in almost a week now
and she’s here. There’s a knock on the door and since I already knew it was her I told her she could
come in. Her perfume fills the room and the sound of her heels clicking on the wooden floor cause me to
open my eyes.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”-I returned sitting up and putting the half drunk beer on the table.
“Can I sit?”
“Sure help yourself.”-She sits and crosses her legs. I raise an eyebrow looking her way before opening
my mouth to speak again. “What are you doing here? On a Wednesday? Shouldn’t you be working?”
“It’s kind of hard to do that when your partner was fired”- she says. “You going to finish that?”-She
points to the beer.
“Help yourself.”
“Thanks.”-She reaches over and grabs the beer and drinks it.
“Never thought you were a beer kind of girl you know.”
“I have 6 in my fridge right now as we speak.”-she giggles. “I don’t like wine or all those other things.
“Oh? Cool.”-I nod.
“You have anything to eat in here or?”
“Of course I do...right in the kitchen.”-I say and she gets up walking off to it with that beer in hand. I run
a hand through my hair hating how I looked at her walk away while in that tight fitted red short dress
she wore with heels. I hated the fact that I was drooling over someone I’ve never drooled over for the
past 4 years. Diana was a tall slim and defined lady. Her blonde hair flowed freely down her back and her
blue eyes...crap. We’ve worked together on a few projects and they’ve been successful. We didn’t share
an office though. Never did and never will.
I get up and follow after her. I sit on the highchair and get on to watching her get some ingredients from
the fridge. My appetite...was returning? “So...what are you making?”
“A chicken stir fry.”
“Lovely.”-I clear my throat.
“Aren’t you going to help with chopping up the veg?”-she asks.
“Oh yeah. Sure.”-I quickly get up and soon enough I’m next to her. She gives a pepper and a smile.
Crap.
“So...you were just going to sit here and drink?”
“Pretty much yeah. How did you even know where to find me?”-I ask. She’s never been here. I’ve never
bought her here as far as I can remember.
“Mike owed me a solid.”
“That prick.”-I shake my head.
“Are you saying you don’t want me here?”-she gasps and I chuckle
“That’s not what I’m saying. You’re cool. It’s Mike that I’ll deal with.”-me.
“Don’t hurt him again.”-she points me with the knife in her hold.
“Or else what?”-I fold my hands in front of my chest. She raises her eyebrows and moves closer to me.
She gently traces on my arms.
“I’ll deal with you myself.”
“I'd like to see you try.”
She bites on her bottom lip before tossing the knife aside. She throws her hands around neck and pulls
me closer. Her lips on mine. For a second I froze taking in her sloppy kiss. My hands went onto her waist
and pulled her closer to me. They travel down to the hem of her dress and pull it over her butt exposing
a lacy knickers. I lift her up and place her top of the counter. My emotions were everywhere even before
she shoved her tongue down my throat.
We break the kiss when she hurriedly takes my top off dumping it next to her. “I've always wanted this
chest.”-she stated breathlessly pulling me back in for her messy kiss. Seconds later she takes her own
dress off exposing her pale skin and perky breasts.
Crap.
I pull her close again burying my face on her neck taking in the sweet scent she reeked of. I nibble and
suck on it earning a moan and another...my hands swim down her tiny body my palms warming to the
touch. They reach her lace panties and I hook my fingers on the side of them pulling them off in a one
go. Her legs wrap around my waist. Her hands stick to my shoulders as she dug them in there. “Take me
Xavier...I love you.”-she breathed. I had to have her now. I wanted to feel her soft flesh and warmth. I
wanted to feel spent.
“I love you Azania.”-I groaned against her neck grabbing her thighs.
“Wait...what did you just call me?”-she pushes my face off her neck unhooking her legs. “Did you just
call me fucking Azania? Are you fucking kidding me?”
I frown. I shut my eyes. What am I doing? What was I thinking?
I could feel my hard on going down.
I run a hand through my hair and open them to an angry looking Diana.
“Look I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”
“Are you joking? I’m completely naked in front of you right now and that’s what you say to me?”
“I’m sorry.”-I grab my top.
“Come on...are you serious...I mean we can still...”-her. I put it on.
“No we can’t.”
“Why? I mean no one has to know about this. It would our secret.”
“Diana I’m not doing this with you. Please get dressed.”-I walk off to the sink to get myself a glass of
water. I need to down my sins.
“You’re pathetic.”
I chuckle and turn to look at her again arms folder in front of my chest. “So I’m pathetic because i don’t
want to fuck you? Look I want you gone when I come back here.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
45
Chapter 45
I kick the duvet off me since I was heating up. Oh this not good. Not good at all.
“Friend I’m dying.”-I say.
“Are you nauseous again?”-Athe asks on the other end of the line. I gag sitting up.
“Yes...”
“Well that’s disheartening. You were just fine the past two days though and I thought you were over
that phase.”
“By a miracle.”-I gag again but this time around it’s not staying down. I get up from the bed and run to
the toilet for immediate relief. I empty out almost everything I ate this evening. When I’m finished I find
myself butt flat on the tiles of this bathroom. I’m exhausted. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand
and put the phone back on my ear again. Athe was still on the line. “Friend.”
“A heads up next time before making me feel sick too.”
“I’m sorry.”-I chuckle and stop the moment I gag. Oh gosh.
“Did you try the ginger thing again?”-he asks.
“I did...but it’s not working. It actually made me feel worse now.”

“Try something else then. Google Azay...I think gosh I can’t believe I even did that I read something
there about pickles or saltine crackers. Try that.”
“It’s 3h00 in the morning and you think I have salt-what-what's laying around?”-me.
“I’m trying to help.”
I sigh putting my hand on my forehead. “Let me go get some water. I’ll text you later.”
“Night.”-him. I hang up and pull my knees up to my chest to rest my head on them. I needed a moment.
The walls to Marie Stopes were welcoming and too friendly looking. There was a crying woman to my
right who got comfort from a male. I took a seat at the waiting area and tried to focus on the task ahead.
I thought of how quick and easy this was going to be and how the right time would come to have
another baby...
“Azania Mnguni?”-a lady at reception called me and I got up. She led me to a ward and then to a room
where I met a female doctor who introduced herself as Dr Smith. She indicated that I take a seat and
proceeded right ahead to telling me all of the risks and things I already knew.
“You look stressed ma’am. Are you okay with this?”-she asked me and I looked at her. Was I sure about
this? No. Was I angry? No. Yes. Argh!
“Can I have an ultrasound before we do anything more?”-I asked. She nods getting up from her chair to
prepare her machines.
“You can come.”-I get up and go to lie down on the bed. I was here for an abortion and not this. By this
time I should’ve swallowed the pill if they were going to give me one but something was just holding me
back. “This is going to be a bit cold but nothing you can’t handle. This should also not be painful of feel
uncomfortable.”-she said and I answered with a nod.
Not even a moment later I hear it. I...don’t hate it. In fact I shouldn’t. “Where is it?”
“Over there.”-she pointed at a blob. “You’re about 3 weeks now.”
“That’s not even a month yet. Right?”

“Yes.”-her. I sighed. “Azania I know it’s not my business but you don’t have to do this now. You don’t
look sure. We offer pregnancy counselling too if you want...”
I get up from the floor and head to the kitchen for my water. I down all of it and wait. Gosh.
---
I wake up feeling a little better than the night prior. I get up and make my bed before going to take a
shower. After my shower I get to make some breakfast before settling on my couch and get to eating.
When I finish I get myself a piece of paper and pen before settling on the couch again. I was taking on
Nkateko's task; writing down my thoughts.
Well...I don’t think I have any thoughts...apart from Xavier. That alone made me think of the other
exercise she gave me; me putting myself in his shoes. Those big shoes would never fit me...
Ever.
Here I was denying him a chance to another child. One he’s around for this time. One I knew for sure
belonged to him. One he was so excited about but I snatched that joy away like I didn’t want that for
him. Wow. How many times has he made me happy and carefree and...how many times have I? How
many times has he seen me break down? How many times have I leaned on him for support? And how
many times did I leave him for being genuine?
I feel myself tearing up at this realisation. I’ve been shit to this man who loved me even back then when
I used to drop my undies for anyone who paid for it. For a man who knows and accepts my past. I choke.
No. This can’t be what I want to have on my conscience forever.
I get up and go change after calling an uber. When I was done I headed to the kitchen once again to get
myself some water. Minutes later there’s a hoot from outside and I grab my clutch bag and get going.
Once in the uber I get my mind straight. I Azania whatever surname suits this moment am going there to
ask for forgiveness. I heave out a sigh and lie back taking in the sun that shone through the window.
“Thanks.”-I say to the driver who drives away shortly after I pay him. I sigh again and turn to the gates.
The two guards stood firmly in place. I bite the insides of my cheeks before making my way forward.
“Greetings Ma’am.”-Moss says to me. Oh he still remembers me.
“Moss Glen...how are you?”
“You know we’ve been keeping our jobs.”-Glen.
I chuckle awkwardly. I rarely used to talk to these men and now here I am having a conversation with
them. “Is...Is Xavier in?”-I ask.
“Sir is in yes. You may go through.”-Moss says and awkwardly I walk in through the gates. I guess I’m
used to riding past them...and I couldn’t help myself as my mind drifted off to what they were thinking.
They obviously haven’t seen me in ages and now here I am.
I see he has a guest. I open the front door after knocking twice to no answer. I’m met by a smell that hits
me off in the wrong way. Gosh. Empty beer bottles everywhere. Pizza boxes on the couches and on the
table.
Sheesh.
“Xavier.”-I call out. Nothing. I walk ahead to the stairs and again call him out but I get no answer. Moss
did say he was in and there is another car here. I hear the sound of a hairdryer going off. Oh.
I make my way to the bedroom and open the door but instantly regret that. He looks up at me. His eyes
go wide before he gets up and looks to the girl in this room who switches the hairdryer off. Silence. My
knees felt weak and I feared that I’d fall flat on my face embarrassing myself.
Why did I want to hit someone already?
She looks so familiar.
“Azania...you’re here.”-he says running a hand through his hair.
“I didn’t know you had company. I’m sorry.”-I turn to leave but a firm hand grabs my forearm.
“Don't go.”
I don’t want to go but this...is something I’m not sticking around for. I’m not about to watch another girl
wrapped in one of my favourite towels being all cosy with Xavier. I look at him. Wow...he lost so much
weight and I feel bad. This was all me. All my doings.
“She...she was just leaving right?”-he looks at her.
“I was?”-the girl frowns.
“Yes Diana.”
“Oh. Well let me go get dressed.”-she confidently walked to our bathroom with what she was blowing
dry. He loosens his grip from my arm and I free myself from his hold. I didn’t want him touching me
because he just shagged a bitch. A white one for that matter. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know
how to feel. I didn’t know how to feel about him moving on...so quick. This was all my fault and I didn’t
want to take the blame for it. Nothing is said until hairdryer girl steps out of the bathroom. She puts on
her shoes and even goes back to the bathroom for something.
I’m shaking. I’m staying for this nonsense?
“Well Xavier I’ll call you.”-she says and I look up ensuring that I don’t let even the slightest tear fall. I
even try blinking them away. She walks past me and I can’t help but watch her walk down the stairs
taking her precious time.
The front door shuts closed before I feel his hand on my shoulder but I shake it off. “Please. Don’t touch
me.”
“Azania...it’s not what it looks like.”-him. I turn to look at him.
“Who is she? Why didn’t you tell me you moved on?”
“Moved on? Zania...”
“No don’t touch me.”-I push him away. “Did you sleep with her?”
“What? Are you crazy?!”
“Just answer with a yes or a no Xavier! Did you fuck her or not?”-I snap. He was honestly making me
angrier.
“No I didn’t!”-He snaps back. “You'd know that if you were here.”
I huff and fold my hands in front of my chest.
“I’m not going to lie to you I almost did but...I couldn’t. I’m sorry.”-he runs a hand through his hair. I’m
looking at him not believing that he’d tell me this. Is he trying to hurt me more than I’ve already been
hurt. I look into his eyes. His dark blue eyes that creep into my soul. He again reaches for my arm. Gosh.
I wanted to slap punch and kick him away from me but I had to control my timid emotions. His hands
are now still on my arms.
“Who is she Xavier?”
“Its not important. “-he says but I look at him until he sighs. “Her name is Diana. She...we used to work
together a few times “
“You like her?”
“Where is this coming from?”
“You want to know where this is coming from? Xavier I come here to apologize and I find you with a girl
in what used to be our room. She’s in one of my towels naked and it looks too cosy. Forgive me for being
stupid but I’m not about to stay here and allow you to make me a fool. No...No.”-I shake my head.
“Nothing happened. The guys came here with beers and pizzas. She spilled some on herself and on her
dress and...baby this is not important okay.”
He still hasn’t answered my question and even if it bothered me a lot I had to try believing he didn’t like
her.
He cups my face and makes me look up to him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“No I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said to you that night.”-he says. I place my hands on top of his
and remove them from me.
“Did you mean any of it?”-me. He looks away and that stung hard. He did. This time I don’t stop the
floodgates of my eye sockets. “I think I should go.”
“You’re not leaving me again Azania.”
“I am. You can’t expect me to stay here with someone who clearly wished they never met me.”-I say.
“Move...”
“No.”-he states firmly.
“No? Move Xavier!”-I punch his chest.
“Azania if you leave here today you must never ever come back to this house. You must never come
back into my life ever again. Ever.”-I stop punching him. “I’m not going to stand here and lie to you like
that. Yes sometimes I do wonder how my life would’ve been if I hadn’t met you. I do wonder why my
heart chose to love someone like you. Do you know how hard it is to love you? I know you didn’t want a
baby. You made that very clear from the day we started having sex again but the way you reacted...”- he
shakes his head.
“Do you know how many times I’ve had to tell myself that I can tolerate everything you throw at me?
The rapes the abuse the trafficking the mental breakdowns the prostitution the drama the Dlomo's and
even the rapists. Through all of that I’ve told myself that I’d help build you up be with you through every
aspect and show you that you matter to me but then you just push me away. You kill our baby. You give
up on us and think of yourself only. Of course I got hurt with what you said and I voiced it out in the
worst way possible but not once did I want to hurt you like that.”-he says and backs away.
I’m floored. Sorry can’t fix this.

“I...”-I choke on the lump in my throat.
“I won’t keep you from leaving anymore. You can go.”-he turns and starts walking to the stairs.
“Xavier wait...”-I sob running after him. He stops and I’m the one grabbing his forearm. “You’re right. I
am selfish. I am self-centred. I’m a curse on legs. I’m quick to give up and I tend to make the worst
decisions from time to time but...you...I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you because of my
selfishness. I know I’m a mess. I know I ruined a lot of things when I left but give me a chance to fix
things.”
He’s quiet.
“Please...”-me. This is it. I messed up again. He doesn’t want me anymore. I let his forearm go and sigh
wiping my tears away. My eyes feel swollen and irritated. After too long I gather enough strength to
speak again. “Okay.”
I’m suddenly jammed between the wall and his heavy body. He pins my hands above my head resting his
forehead on mine. I’m holding my breath. “Are you moving back in?”
I swear my eyes go wide when he says that. I didn’t expect him to say that. I nod.
“And you’ll never ever leave again even if we fight?”
I nod again. He traces along my bottom lip.
“We’ll talk through things.”
“Always.”-I whisper and manage to see a glimpse of a smile on his face. I swallow.
“And the first thing we get you is a prevention injection tomorrow. No more unwanted pregnancies.”-
him. I blush. I still haven’t told him about this and I wanted to but how I was going to tell him baffled me.
He lets my arms go and grabs my thighs before lifting me up. Too quick. “Woah.”-I squeal.
“What?”-him.
“I’m still a lightheaded hazard.”-I say. He puts me down. Oh...
“Have you eaten?”-him. Awkward. I nod. “Why are you...?”-he trails off. I bite on the insides of my
cheeks. I guess you really can’t see it yet. I reach for my clutch bag and search through it. It doesn’t take
before I find the scans Dr Smith gave me and hand them over to Xavier. I’m looking at him. Wondering if
he’d ask if it was his or...
-----------------------------------
What the heck.
I open my eyes to find a staring Xavier. And not only that but a smiling touchy Xavier. He kisses my
forehead nose and then my lips making me remember of how much I missed this. We slept in a guest
bedroom... Because of me of course. ‘It girl’ Diana's perfume -even if Xavier couldn’t smell it- was the
worst. I also think I didn’t want to sleep there until we burned the sheets she put her dress on making
me remember of how much I missed this. We slept in a guest bedroom... Because of me of course. ‘It
girl’ Diana's perfume -even if Xavier couldn’t smell it- was the worst. I also think I didn’t want to sleep
there until we burned the sheets she put her dress on bleached the whole bathroom and discarded that
hairdryer. Actually this whole house needed a clean.
“Morning Spencer.”-he smirks. His hand goes onto my belly and he rubs it. I hated the feeling I somehow
still had in me. Why did I still not feel like this baby is my everything. Yes I didn’t kill it but I wasn’t...how
can I say this...somewhat attached to it. Gosh that sounds terrible. It’s probably why I’ve chosen to
ignore the fact that I was still pregnant. “Morning other us.”-him. He moved to kiss my belly. I force a
small smile.
“Morning.”
“You okay?”-him. I nod and sit up. He does the same.
“Are you?”-me. He nods too. “I see.”
“You sleep well?”-he asks. I nod all too soon before feeling that usually nauseous feeling again. Gosh. I
jump out of bed and fast walk to the bathroom to relieve my self. It’s not much but considering the
amount of food I consumed last night this was a lot.
“You are not okay then.”-he says helping me up and flushes on my behalf.
“I’m fine. This is nothing new.”
“We can go see a doctor and have them do something to probably reduce this or even stop it
completely.”
“That would just be a waste of money besides I’m sure this will all be over before we know it.”-I brush
him off. He looks at me obviously thinking of how he can change my mind to this but I wasn’t going to.
“You have an extra toothbrush here?”-me.
“Is that a trick question?”-him. I give him a look and he shrugs. “I’ll go fetch it.”
“Thank you.”
After he leaves I get a chance to make the bed and open some curtains and windows. When he returns
he returns with more than just a toothbrush. It’s two fresh towels two smaller ones toothpaste his
shower gel and clothes. He is such a sweetheart.
I finish brushing when I open the shower tap and wait for the water to heat up. He’s sitting on the bed
busying himself with his phone. “What you busy with? “-I sneak for some info while making my way to
where he sat. I settled next to him.
“Job hunting.”
Well I shouldn’t have asked.
“Oh.”
“Yeah Mike sent me this job AD and it’s tempting honestly. “-him.
I clear my throat. Yes guilt had a funny way of showing itself. “Why not take it?”-I ask. He looks at me.
“Zania this was not your fault.”
Who’s he trying fool. If I was 6 years old I think I would’ve believed him but now...not a chance. “Don’t
try to make it look like it wasn’t. You quit because of me.”
“I didn’t.”
“Xavier...”
“I got fired Azania. Nothing more nothing less. I should’ve been able to do shit and keep it together. But
I didn’t that’s why I lost my job. Not because of you.”-he says. I still knew I caused this. All of it. I get up
and head back to the shower. It’s already too steamy and too hot but nothing a little bit of cold water
can’t fix. A minute later I peek out and he’s still on the bed.
“Xae.”-me.
He looks up.
“Join me?”-me. He puts his phone aside and comes to the bathroom with the showering gel and towels
which he hangs on the rack. Once inside the shower I got a chance to allow the fresh water to rush down
my body. I hold my hands out for a little gel.
I take my soapy palms and put them on his shoulders. I can feel his eyes on me but mine are on his
chest. My hands cascade down to his abdomen. Wow. My poor baby. My poor skinnier ba-...
“Don’t.”
“Huh?”-me. I look at him. His blue eyes become intense.
“Don’t think about things.”
“I’m a terrible person Xavier.”
“You’re not.”-him.
“I am. I don’t even deserve yo-...”
“Azania.”-him. “I never want to hear you say that again.”
He cups my face and brings me closer to him. The innocent peck turns into a passionate kiss. I back up
until my back hits the cold shower walls causing me to arch. I feel him grow in my hold. My gentle
stoking earns me a sexy groan. His hand travels down my body up to my thigh. He lifts it. I almost slip.
“Crap.”
I giggle and how wide his eyes opened. “Are you okay?”-him.
“Im fine.”-I laugh him off.
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this in here.”-He shuts off the water. He takes in a deep breath. He hardens
more in my hold.
“I don’t care where we do it. “-spoken by a turned on woman. We abruptly exit the bathroom. My hands
all over him. His all over me. I sit on the edge of the bed. Our bodies are still wet. I lie back as he hovered
over me. His soft lips make contact with my skin. Leaving Goosebumps everywhere. I felt hypersensitive.
His touch seemed to make me weaker than before. It made me feel venerable yet safe. Wild yet tamed.
He cups me. Explores me fingers. Just at his touch I wanted to break. He slips in and out gently.
“Ever so ready aren’t we?”-he groaned against my neck.
He goes faster. His fingers delving deeper. I gasp for air. Everything was just too intense. Emotional and
more. Just when I was at my peek he stopped. He leaves me empty for a moment before filling me up
again...
I couldn’t get enough of him. I was exhausted and deliciously sore but I still wanted more. I didn’t even
want to sleep. I wanted more...ache. I wanted him in me all the time. I wanted his heavy body on me
again. Have him sweat on me. Watch him enjoy himself all over again. He looked so carefree at this
moment as we both lay next to each other.
I get on top of him. Straddling him. His hands go onto my waist. “Woman...”
“I want more of you man.”
“Your man.”
“My man.”
I held him and put him in. He felt deeper like this. I felt in charge and he seemed to like it. I pinned his
hands down above his head. I leaned forward letting my tits touch his face. He goes insane. Twitching
below me. He pretends like he wants to free himself. He pushed up. I went crazy. Backing up and
simultaneously letting his hands go. I grind on him. He groans. I moan. I don’t want this amazing feeling
to stop.
He took me from behind. Slapping me hard on the butt. “Mine.”-he claimed forcing more of himself in
me. He thrusts faster. I cry out. He licked me. I sucked him and I had him come in my mouth.
---
“When does your lease end?”-Xavier asked as we drove on the one way road. I looked at him.
“In 3 months time.”-I say. I was going to renew after those months if we didn’t talk things through. We
were on our way to my apartment for some of my stuff. He takes an unknown turn but I don’t bother
asking why. “Don’t worry though. I’ll pay it off.”
“No. I will. “
“It’s not your debt Xavier.”
He keeps quiet. I look away. Honestly I didn’t want to fight right now. Especially not after the morning
we had.
Not even minutes later he pulls up into a hospital’s parking lot. I heave out a sigh as the car comes to a
hold. “We’ll be quick. In and out.”
I roll my eyes the moment he steps out of the car and makes his way to my side. He opens my door and
helps me out. My heart beat faster as we made our way to the entrance. He squeezed my hand and we
waited by the reception area.
“Mr and Mrs King?”
“That’s us.”-he says as we both got up.

“Follow me.”-the lady leads the way to this doctor. I’m wondering why we can’t just have one doctor
and stick to them. That seems fair.
We do the ultrasound and everything else that came with baby. I knew Xavier wanted to know what the
gender was but I didn’t want to. I wanted to surprise myself atleast just to ensure that I have had
something to look forward to. Nothing was said about my nausea. We leave. Now genuinely heading to
my apartment. We only managed to take my clothes and Logan’s.
-------------------------------------
He pulled out a chair for me to sit at the restaurant he booked a reservation. “thank you. “-I smiled as he
sat across me.
“You should wear red more often. Makes you look dangerous.”-he smirks. I chuckle.
“Am I not dangerous already?”
“Maybe...maybe.”-him. I roll my eyes. A waiter finally comes to our aid and took our orders. She bought
us our drinks and placed bread with butter in the middle of the table.
While we waited I couldn’t help but wonder what the occasion was. We rarely ate out and as far as I was
concerned he was jobless. He shouldn’t be spending like he is right now. “So...I’m fetching Xander
tomorrow. You’re coming with me right? “-him.
I shrug. I don’t think his mother is my biggest fan right now. And yet again I completely understood why.
“You can go alone.”
“She probably wants to see you.”
“I don’t “-I mumble under my breath.
“Zania...”-he warns. Wow weren’t we all chuckly-chuckly not so long ago?
“Xavier I’m not going.”
“Fine.”-him. Is he thinking I’m being selfish again? Am I being selfish?
“Fine I’ll go. But don’t expect me to engage in any conversation with her. I’ll even stay in the car if I have
to.”-me.
He nods. Our food finally arrives and I’m already knee deep in the meal. I just wish they had some
mustard. “So...baby...”
“Mnnn?”-Me.
“I have something to tell you.”-he says. I’m hit by sudden panic. Why don’t I like the sound of this
already?
“Im...listening... “-I put my fork and knife down. He does the same resting his elbows on the table and
entwines his fingers placing his chin on them.
“I accepted a job offer.”
I beam up. “That’s great news babe.”
“Right? I was hoping you would say that cause there’s a catch.”
“A catch?”-I frown.
“We...we have to move.”
I go blank. Move? To where? “Wait wait why? I mean we have to move?”-Me.
“Yes.”
“To where?”
“To Pretoria.”-him.
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I grab my fork and start eating again. I didn’t know what to think. Pretoria and
I? Why am I eating this quick when I should be asking more questions?
“Azania...you’re not saying anything.”-him. He’s been watching me eat this whole time while his food
seemed to lose heat.
“Are you going to eat that?”-me. He heaved out a sigh handing me his plate. I hand him mine. “Thanks
baby.”
“Azania come on.”
“This steak is nice...I’ll order it next time...oh right.”-I eat away. We’ll fight in private. Not here. I didn’t
want to look ratchet something I guess I already was. He sits back looking frustrated as ever with me but
we were going to deal with things in private. I finish the meal and have the waiter get us the bill which I
settle after plenty of argument. I didn’t even want dessert anymore cause I was stuffed.
We leave at around 20h09 and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking of this moving thing. I looked out of
the window as we drove home.
Sheesh.
“So...was this the only job offer you could get?”-me.
He keeps quiet. I eye him his hands firmly on the steering wheel.
“Yeah.”-he finally answers vaguely
“Genuinely? You want this? You want us to move?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Xavier...isn’t that going to be expensive? I mean where are we even going to live?”
“You’ll see. Don’t worry about that.”-he says. You see. I think I’m going to start worrying when he says
such.
“When?”
“When what?”
“When are we expected to move?”
“Within 3 weeks baby.”-him.
Woah! That’s fast.
“So we’ll be leaving behind everything we know...for this job?”
“Why are you looking at it like that though?”
“How am I supposed to be looking at it?”
“This is going to be a new start for us baby...you can expand your business and make new friends-...”
“Make new friends? Xavier are you mocking me?”-I shake my head.
“Why would I mock you baby?”-him.
I throw my hands up in defeat. He knows my only friend who’s understood me and helped me out at the
toughest of times lives here. He knows I suck at making new friends that won’t turn out to be sick
women working with evil. He knows.
Poor Moss. Glen too.
------------------------------------
I remained in the car texting Athe. Ever since I texted him about moving he’s been on my case. Telling
me I’m not serious and -I quote- ‘ you guys are drastic'. I was though. And so was Xavier. It’s been ten
long minutes since Xavier went into his mother’s house. I’m sure he’s getting lectured about why he’s
back with me. Either way I didn’t want to face her yet.
Olivia pops out of the front door and lights up a cigarette. When did she start smoking? She looks up and
notices me in the car. If it were up to me I wouldn’t want to be seen.
She makes her way towards the car and I cringe just as she knock on the window. I open with a half
smile on my face. The smell of smoke hits me hard to the point where I feel like it’s a powerful head
banger. I cover my nostrils before she quickly discards the cigarette and steps on it.
“Apologies I smoke now... Shocker.”-she says and laughs lightly.
“Why though?”
“Boyfriend pressure. It’s a thing.”
“That’s stupid.”-I chuckle.
“It is. Something else that is stupid is my mom and Xavier yelling in there while your baby is sleeping.”-
She says.
“Yelling? About what?”-my curiosity spikes up. There was plenty to yell about and I wanted
specification.
“Everything they can yell about. I mean it’s hectic.”-she says and I desperately wanted to go in there and
get my baby. He didn’t deserve any of this at all. I get out and hear how they shouted from in there. It
got louder...and louder...and Xavier shoots out of the front door carrying a crying Logan. Oh Gosh.
“Mom stop it.”-Him.
“Xavier you’re being stupid! Utterly stupid! I can’t believe you’d do this to yourself!”-His mother yells.
“Oh boy.”-Olivia answers.
“There are plenty of other good and suitable women out there!”-His mother.
“Plenty of women which I don’t want now please stop it!”-he snaps. I’m handed my crying baby and
immediately try hushing him.
“I thought I raised a man but clearly I didn’t. I raised a boy who allows women to walk all over him!”
Xavier’s fists are clenched tightly by his sides. This is scary and unreal. I don’t know what to do. Logan
was not calming down at all. I turn to leave just to get Logan away from this negative energy when I hear
Liv yell. I look back. Olivia is between them pushing Xavier back. What the hell?
“Wait wait wait let’s just all calm down now.”-Olivia.
“Calm down? Mom just literally disrespected my fiancée for my own choices?”-Xavier raged.
“So you want to hit me now? You want to hit your mother Xavier?”
“You know what fuck this. Fuck all of this. Azania get into the car. We’re leaving.”-he says walking away
from a defending Liv and comes towards the car. “In the car Azania.”-he repeats after seeing my frozen
state. Oh gosh we’re leaving. The situation is terrible and just leaving it like this is not sitting well with
me at all but I don’t want to anger Xavier.
He speeds off. Without a diaper bag and clothing bag. This made my heart feel heavy. Xavier honestly
was angry too angry. I’ve encountered an angry him but this is beyond me. Beyond anything. Logan
calms down a little and I suspect he’s hungry and unsettled but other than that tensions were high.
“Xavier slow down.”-me. This car was going too fast. “Xavier!”
“What?”-he snaps.
“Slow the fuck down!”-I state getting emotional. Holding my baby closer. I didn’t feel safe. I didn’t want
to be in this car. “Stop this car.”-I break down. My heart was beating fast. Too fast. “Xavier stop this car!
Now!”
“Okay!”-Him. He slows down and pulls over. I get out of the car with Logan and shut the door walking
off getting hit by a warm breeze. I need air. “Azania...”
He follows behind me repeatedly calling my name to stop me. When I finally halt he comes to stand in
front of me.
“I’m not running... “-I mumble and glance back. It felt as if I walked a mile when in reality I didn’t get as
far.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You want to kill us Xavier? All of us?”
“No. I just wasn’t thinking straight. I’m sorry love can we just get back into the car and go home.”-him.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
46
Chapter 46
I look at him. He looks at me as I made my way down the stairs. I finally managed to get Logan fed
cleaned and to rest after his restless attitude. He takes the bottle of beer and downs more of it before
putting it back on the table again.
The whole house was quiet and it didn't feel like the good kind of quiet where we'd enjoy each other in
pure silence.
I sit down next to him and lay my head on his shoulder. He searched for my hand on my lap finds it and
entwines our fingers.
“Want to talk about it?”-he says. His voice almost echoed in the room due to the silence.
“Yes.”-I utter wishing I cleared my throat before speaking.
“You can go first.”-him.
I shut my eyes brushing gently on his knuckles. His skin soft under my fingertips.
“You shouldn’t have fought with your mom like that.”-me.

“I know. I was only defending you.”
“I get that...but now I’m sure she resents me.”
“I don’t think I care.”
“Haibo! Xavier.”-I get my head off his shoulder looking at him.
“I didn't mean it like that don't get me wrong. If she doesn't want to make peace with our status then
she can stay out of it.”-he shrugs.
I don't like the sound of that but I admired the fact that he was choosing me over his mom... He was
defending me. A whole selfish me. For us. I bring our entwined hands us to my mouth and peck the back
of it. I like him wanted to try and ignore this as much as I hated it.
“I love you Mr King.”-me.
“How much do you love me?”-he smirks.
“A lot...a lot...like a lot a lot. I don’t even know how to put it.”-I blush. I loved how he looked at me.
“Prove it.”-him.
“Prove it?”
He nods and pats on his lap. “Come sit on the love of your life's lap.”
I chuckle. “But I want to sit on the love of my life's face.”

“Look at my baby being naughty.”-I get up and straddle him. I run my fingers through his hair starring
into his blue eyes. His long natural lashes and pink lips. Sheesh.
“You’re just as naughty Mr King...”-me. He puts his hand on my tiny bump. I clear my throat. “So...why
am I on your lap?”-I try ignoring his touch.
“Aren’t we fucking?”
I break out in laughter. “Fucking? No...we aren’t.”
“Why not.”
“Because I’m not in the mood.”-I lie rubbing on his earlobes.

“Because you’re not in the mood? You know that can easily be changed right?”-him. I know that. I’ve
seen and experienced that. I’ve liked that. He finally removes his hand from my bump and takes me by
my wrists. “Besides that...we should be enjoying our sexual life a little more just because soon it won’t
just be you and I and that little rascal upstairs.”-he chuckles. “There’s another sexy baby on the way and
we won’t even get a chance to sleep.”
“All I’m hearing is there’ll be time for quickies.”-I shrug.
“Yeah and then Xander walks in on us and asks me why I’m making mamma cry.”-he rolls his eyes while I
can’t help laughing at this thought. That would be terrible. For one; I definitely wouldn’t want Little
Logan seeing us like that and two; Eww. I don’t cry when we’re connected by flesh... Or do I?
“Gosh you’re terrible.”-me.
“Well that's why I'm good in bed.”-he chuckles. Oh wow. An idiot. A handsome one.
“You’re something else Mr King.”
“I hope you like this something else.”
“I...actually love it.”-I mumble and bring my face closer to his capturing his lips and passionately kiss
him. I could feel his hands riding up on my back lifting the top I changed into when we returned from the
drama house. It was comfortable.
“You’re not wearing a bra.”-He smirks after breaking the kiss. I find myself smirking back at this.
“Do we have a problem with that?”-I bite on my bottom lip. He shakes his head.
“We do not ma'am.”-he says leaning in again to resume with the kiss. His phone rings vibrates in his
pocket in the midst of things. I honestly tried ignoring it but it wouldn’t stop.
“Who the fuck?”-he mumbles clearly irritated by this as well. He takes one look at the phone before
putting it on the armrest of the couch. Face down.
“Who was that?”-me. I place my thumb under my chin and await his answer.
“No one important... Now where were we?”-he licks his lips and I voluntarily lean in to kiss him again.
My hands tuck on the button of his jeans before hearing that annoying ringing and vibrating sound from
right next to us.
Gosh!
I sit back and pout folding my arms in front of my chest. “Seriously!?”-me.
“Come on baby...”
“Just answer that damn phone Xavier.”-I reply.
He takes a look again at who’s calling before hanging up. “It’s not important.”
I frown. “Not important? Who’s calling you?”-it rings again.
“Nobody.”-he emphasized.
“Oh? Hell then let me talk to this nobody.”-I reach for the phone at the same time he does.
I managed to get it first but he’s fighting to get it as I held it far away from his reach. He pulls me closer
by my waist stretching his hand out and tries taking it. “You’re going to drop your own phone Xavier.”
“Just give it back then.”
“No.”-me. He gets up with me still on his lap and hold. I’m hoping he doesn’t drop me. He lays me on the
couch pinning me down with his heavy body. I was not giving him this phone. Not until I saw the caller
ID. Not even long after it stopped ringing it goes off again. I push his face away and turn the phone to
me.
“Wow...this is what’s calling you? That Diana girl?”-he stops fighting for his phone and lets me go sitting
up. He looks afraid but that right now didn’t matter apart from the fact that he was going to keep this
from his fiancée. I trust him believe me but anything is possible here. Especially with this girl with an
amazing body and hair. I sigh.
“She’s been calling for the past two days and I swear I’ve been ignoring her.”-he explains.
I look at the ringing phone again. Okay. I’m answering. I pick up and watch how Xavier squirms in shock.
“The wife speaking can I help you?”-Me. I can hear her breathing on the other end of the line but she’s
not answering. “Listen here tramp yo-...”
“Who are you calling a tramp hoe? Where’s Xavier I need to talk to him. I’d assume you’d know that if
your ass went to school and learned that you don’t answer people’s phone cause they don’t belong to
you.”-she says and I find myself chuckling while looking at Xavier.
What the hell!

“Xavier... He’s right here. In front of me...no scratch that he’s on top of me listening to me talk to your
wannabe ass that clearly also left school because you can’t seem to know that Xavier is my man and he
belongs to me and not you.”-me. This girl has the liver of a chicken!
“You think you’re smart don’t you?”
“Yes now stop calling my man. He doesn’t want you.”
“Hoe Let me tell you something whatever you have with Xavier...it’ll end. And I...I’ll be the cause of
that.”
“Oh?”?
“Yeah he’ll be all mine.”
“Okay.”-I brush her off.
“You’ll have nothing.”
“Okay.”-me.
“I will get him!”-she stated clearly irritated.
“Wow. Great.”
“Yeah. I promise you that.”-she says.
This is getting ridiculous and boring. I don’t have time to entertain my fiancé’s mistake.
“Well I wish you luck on that but stop calling my man missy.”-I hang up not allowing this thing to anger
me. I hand Xavier his phone and get up off the couch.
“I-...”-him. I put my hand up stopping him from speaking any further.
“Don't.”
---
I wake up feeling better. I think for most part I needed the nap. The bonus here was no nausea. The
moment I sit up I notice that Logan is no longer in his crib. Right. I remove the throw from my body and
make my way to the bathroom. Once done I head downstairs. There’s no one in here. Why is no one
here? Maybe Xavier said something about leaving with Logan when I was still napping which would
mean I didn't hear him. I frown.
“Xae?”-me.
I go out through the back and find him in the pool. What in the name of everything that’s holy is he
doing in there with Logan?!
“Oh hey baby.”-he says after looking my way. Logan splashed the water playfully.
“Are you trying to drown our son now?”-me.
“The water is not that bad baby and just because you can’t swim doesn’t mean everyone else
shouldn’t.”-he says. I frown folding my hands in front of my chest.
“Is this pool even clean?”
“It is.”-he walks to where I was standing. “Come join us.”
“I’m fine here by the edge.”-I sit down putting my feet in the surprisingly warmish water “Look...I don’t
want that woman calling you. I don’t even want to think about her. I don’t want to smell her and I don’t
want to lay my eyes on her. Please. I’m not about to share you. I don’t want to share you.”-me.
“You won’t be. I don’t want you feeling insecure...she won’t call again.”-him. I nod. That’s all I needed
from him. Some sort of reassurance. I didn’t want to find myself competing with a skinnier blonde bomb
who won’t be pushing out another bundle out of her vagina in a few months.
“I’m hungry.”-I say after watching them act like fish for a few minutes. Logan cutely always wanted to
grab the water like he would in his tub.
“What do you want to eat?”-he walks to the edge again this time he hands me Logan who wets my
clothing. I sigh. “Pizza?”-him. I give him a look.
“Are you joking?”-me.
“No actually... I really want to eat some pizza.”
“You're disguising.”
The boy tries wiggling his way out of my hold back into the pool but No. He’s not going back into that
pool. “Baby...it’s just pizza. Besides you can have anything else you want to have and stop judging me.”-
him. He kisses my thigh holding Logan’s kicking legs down.
“I want a burger.”-I say.

“Cool can you go me my phone?”-him.
“You can use mine.”-I take my phone out from the pocket of my shorts and give it to him. “Logan no...”
He yells.
Oh gosh. Look who else is hungry and tired. I get up with him in my hold leaving Xavier in the pool to
order. This boy is throwing a tantrum I’ve never had from him before and I’d smack him if I allowed
myself to. I place him on the counter and look at him. When he eventually stops his whining and looks
back at me settling down.
Woah. I didn’t expect that to work.
“Now let me get you fed.”-I say to myself before picking him up again and searching for something he
could eat. In the fridge I spot some avocado and chicken. Maybe he’ll like this. Just then Xavier walks in
and I’m delighted. “Baby can you make chicken strips for this tiny man over here.”
I might burn them or even undercook them.
Luckily for me Xavier is a way better cook then I am. He gets right to it heating up a pan while thinly
cutting the chicken breast. Not all of it. He fries the strips and lightly flavours with salt and a tang of
tomato sauce. We watched from the counter. He dished up in a tiny bowl and took the avocado cutting
it into chucks too. “Here you go chicken a la vua”
“Chicken a la vu le what?”
“Vua baby vua.”-he chuckles.
“Thank you.”-I take the bowl and get to feeding Logan. Our food arrived while I was at it. I only managed
to feed him half of the food before he started yawning like crazy. I knew he’d fall asleep soon so if I
wanted to bathe him I had to do that now. We head upstairs and I get a bath running one we eventually
share.
He falls asleep right as I’m dressing him and I felt bad for disrupting his sleeping time.
I head downstairs after applying lotion to my body and putting my pyjamas on. Xavier is still eating his
laptop on the counter and a beer next to it. The pizza smelled amazing from where I stood and honestly
I wanted some. I don’t know if this sudden want for this pizza was the work of our unplanned visitor or
me just missing the taste of good ole fashioned pizza.
I join him by the highchairs before pulling my burger takeaway closer to me. I dug in. “What are you
doing?”-my curiosity spikes up.
“Wendy sent me an email earlier today about her managing to get us 3 open houses we could check
out.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah and they’re all in our price range so we’re off to a good start.”-He says and turns to me with a
smirk.
“Oh. Cool.”-I nod. I didn’t know what else to say really apart from what I just did. A huge part of me still
didn’t love the idea of moving. I’ve spent most of my time here in Jo’burg and moving is something I
thought I’d never go through.
“You’ll pick your favourite.”-him.
“Me?”
“Yes.”
“And what do I even know about picking a house? I have zero experience with that type of thing.”
“Think of it as art than woman. What do you like about this house? What would you like changed or
what would you wish was different with this one.”
“Oh...”-I take another huge bite of my burger.
“I still get the feeling you’re not a hundred percent with all of this.”
“What?”-I look at him.
“What’s wrong baby. Why aren’t you with this?”
I shrug. “There’s so much of us here. Our memories are here and now...now we’re leaving that? Look
the job offer is amazing believe me and I’m a hundred percent behind you with that but...”
“We can always make new memories baby. This is a new start and we can make the most of it.”-him. “I
know things like Logan being born here...and our first night here together...”
“They matter to me Xavier. They do and this being where we’ve built our life... now we leave all of it that
behind. It is kind of hard but...I’ll put on my big girl panties and go to these open houses.”
“That’s my girl.”-he says and i hear his phone ring.
“Moss”-he mumbles looking at the screen. “Anné? Yeah let her in.”-Xavier tells the guard. I frown biting
on the burger.
“Suzanné is here?”-I ask with a mouthful.
“Sounds like it. Wonder why.”
Same here.
Not even long we hear her car park outside and soon after a knock on the door. Xavier jogs to the door
and opens it wide for her to walk in. My mood immediately switches and I sense hatred already. She’s
on a mission I feel it.
“I brought your baby's diaper and clothing bag.”-she says and hands it over to Xavier.
‘Your baby's'?
Logan has name.
“Than-...”
“What did You do to mom?”
“huh?”
“I found her crying and all she said is that her son wanted to hit her because of a tramp.”-she half yells.
“Not you too.”-Xavier. I sit back. “Please leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Yes you are. Bye.”-Xavier.

“I honestly thought Azania would make you a better person but looks like she’s making you worse.
You’re probably drinking again right? You’re making irrational decisions-...”
“So you came all this way to make a scene about something that doesn’t concern you?”
“That’s where you’re wrong Xavier. This concerns me just as much as everything else mom has gone
through. You know we almost lost her twice but you still chose to hurt her like this? All because of a girl
who...who-...”-she trails off.
“Who what huh? Say it. All of you are suddenly too brave now I see because of one silly setback that
didn’t even involve you people. Look I’m tired. I’m sick of it. I’m a grown ass man who can freaken think
on his freaken own and I know that because I’ve been doing it for more than 20 years okay. You can go
home and deal with your cheating husband and spoilt mother while I focus on my shit.”-he roars and it’s
then that I notice I’ve stopped eating.
What?
Cheating?
“What?”-me.
“What?”-Anné.
“Just go.”
“No no no no you don’t just get to say things like that and act like you didn’t okay.”
“Can I go sleep now?”-Xavier.
“Ivan is not cheating on me that’s ridiculous.”-she says her voice now lowered. There’s an intense
staring contest and I’m filled with one thought. If this is true then why didn’t Xavier say something?
Okay another thought is why he wouldn’t stop Ivan or do something to protect his sister. That’s what I’d
expect. Right?
“Go. Ask him for yourself.”-Xavier says and goes to stand by the door. Suzanné looks at me before
leaving. The door is shut and it’s quiet. Quiet enough for us to hear her drive out. I sigh. “I’ll go check on
Logan.”-he says and heads upstairs with the bags.
“Wow.”-I mumble to myself and get back to stuffing my face.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Suzanné's POV.
I park by the driveway before switching off the engine of my car. I lay my head on the steering wheel
soaking in everything. I felt angry. I felt embarrassed. I felt clueless.
I sit up again gathering my bag and out. I open the front door and find Ivan busy on his laptop. He shuts
it immediately and throws me a smile.
Oh wow.
I close the door and take off my heels then make my way past him and head to our bedroom. I’m
shaking. Thinking of all the obvious things I could’ve seen to support what Xavier said to me. He
wouldn’t lie to me. Would he?
Ivan walks into the room.
I know that look on his face and I didn’t want to see it.
“You didn’t greet me when you came in.”-him.
“Sorry.”
“Okay...what’s up?”
“Nothing.”-I sigh. “Is Ty asleep?”-me.
“He went to a sleepover remember.”-he says.
Oh.
He sits down at the edge of the bed looking at me. “You’re going to New York again aren’t you?”-me.
“I...yes...”
“When?”-me.
“On the 20th. “-he says wiping his forehead. I nod. That would be in 3 days time.
“And how long will you be there for this business trip?”
“A week.”
“So...you’ll have her for a week.”-I mumble to myself.
“What?”-him.
“Nothing.”-me. I get up from the bed and head to the bathroom. I didn’t want to talk to him any further
cause I swear I would hurt him. After taking a shower I step out and dry my body and lotion. I head out.
Once in bed I switch off my lamp and turn the other way.
“So you’re not going to say goodnight to me either?”
I roll my eyes. “Night.”-me. I force my eyes shut and hear how he switches off his bedside lamp.
I couldn’t really sleep. My mind was just filled with thoughts. I check the time on my watch. 03h15. I sit
up careful not to wake Ivan up. My hand reaches under his pillow. That's where he kept it. Slowly I
retrieved it and manage to grab it without waking him up. I bring it to life with a press of a button and
the wallpaper is not the same as it was the last I saw it. It was still us just enjoying an outing after he
came back from New York. I lower my arms feeling guilty for wanting to do this.
Why couldn't I just believe he wouldn't hurt me in that way?
Why did he choose to go with my son at times... Wait... What was the name Ty mentioned the oth-
...Gabi! Ty said something about him and Ivan living with a Gabi while they were there.
Why wouldn't he do this to me?
Fuck this.
I unlock the phone again and immediately go to his messages.
She’s at the very top here. I cringe looking at him for a brief second. There are a lot of texts here. A lot of
‘I love you' texts. ‘Last time was amazing’ You're the best I've ever had.’ A lot of flirtatious texts that I
don't even get from him.
Wait what the hell is this?
Nudes.
Oh my God!
I cover my mouth out of disgust. I’ve seen enough. Enough to believe Albie. My hands are shaking. My
eyes are filling up with tears of hurt. Tears of betrayal. I get off the bed and head to the toilet dumping
his phone in the toilet. I flush. Twice. There’s no water to flush anymore. The phone is still deep down
there and I don't care anymore.
I go back. He’s still sleeping. In a flash My hands go around his neck and I press hard. Hard enough to
wake him up. His eyes go wide before he tries removing my hands from him. I press harder.
“Anné...st...stop!”-him.
“I hate you!”
“I can't brea-the...”-he pushes me with all his might off him. He rolls over coughing like a mad man while
I got up and grabbed the nearest thing I could find. “What the hell Anné!”-he coughed some more. I
threw the lamp at him and he ducked.
“You bastard!”
“Stop this. What is wrong with you! “
“You are such a liar. A backstabbing cheat!”
“What?”
“For so many years I had to trust you!”-I pull out a drawer and throw it at him. “I had to support you
when you always went to New York for business but little did I know that you are also busy pulling down
someone else's panties!”
“Anné...”-I pick up his shoes.
“You’re cheating on me Ivan. Me? The same woman you claim to love and want to stay with forever?
You’ve chosen to continue with this so openly while I chose to ignore the cheap perfume stench I get
from your clothes that I wash. The lipstick...the late night calls...”
“Anné...let me explain...”-him.
I chuckle.
What does he even have to say about this?
How does he explain this. How does he begin telling me that she’s not as pretty as her photo’s?
How does he not make me feel like I’m not as less of a woman for him?
“I lost four of our babies. Four. Because of you...”
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Azania's POV.
The morning light came through the open curtain. I look to my side and there stood Xavier with Logan in
his hold. I felt like I was watched. He starts laughing and puts Logan down. The boy holds onto the bed.
“Why are you laughing?”
“You were talking in your sleep.”
“I don’t talk in my sleep.”-I sit up and stretch.
“You did talk today then. That’s why me and little dude over here chose to listen.”-Xavier says and I find
myself wondering what I said. A lot of things can be said in one’s sleep so I’m clueless.
“You said I’m handsome.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”-I look at him.
“Well you did.”-he says and folds his arms in front of his chest before unfolding them again to catch a
walking Logan? Oh my Gosh! The boy walks all the way to his crib without falling. He looks back at us
and gives us a giggle before minding his business again. What?
My mouth is wide with shock.
---
The first house we see is not exactly what I expected. I didn’t like the layout of it. Another thing that was
off about it was the fact that our master bedroom was on the first floor. It was also an hour away from
any mall or even day care for when I’d like Logan to start with it. I’ll tell you what Xavier liked though the
pool.
I sigh.
The second house was amazing. Well atleast for me of course. The staircase...the size...the open floor
plan...the floors...okay maybe the pool here was also better than the first...everything about it was just
perfect. It was closer to the mall and Xavier’s new job.
The last one no. Basically my mind was already sold on house number 2.
When we get back to Jo’burg I’m still fantasising about the second house.
“I knew you’d be able to pick out a house.”-he says.
“It’s pretty. Besides that I took your ‘think of it as art' advice to heart and chose. This is actually making
me excited. When are we moving again?”-me.
He laughs. “ I’ll organise a moving company as soon as we put in an offer. That way we’ll move faster
since you’re so eager.”
“Good. Make sure no one else buys it. I think I’ll get a seizure if you don’t.”
“Drama.”
“Have you... Spoken to Suzanné or your mother?”-me. I know this topic is a mood killer but...
“Nope.”-him. I eye Logan who’s sleeping at the back in his chair.
“So it was true?”
“What was true?”
“The whole her husband cheating thing.”-me.
“Yes.”
“why?”-me
“why what? “
“Why didn’t you say anything to her though?”
“Well it wasn’t my place to say to it to her. I’m not her husband. Besides the idiot said he’ll come
clean..”
“When did he say that?”-Me. Look I barely knew this man because he was always on the next flight to
New York for work and now skirts. The only person I could say I would see is her boy Tyler. The husband
No. In fact the first time I saw him was at that new years celebration. That was it. He was an awkward
man. Good looking but awkward.
“ Azania I don’t want you involved in this.”
“Xavier. I’m already involved.”
“But just leave it.”
“Uyabhora yaz (you’re such a bore you know.)”-I whip my phone out and get to texting Athe who
wanted to see me today to go ahead and come through.
I step out the moment we park. I’m hungry. Yes. I’m eating yesterday's Pizza. I can’t believe how good it
tasted. I swear I wanted to vomit it out so bad but my hormones didn’t agree with me.
Athe arrives here at around 13h00 dressed in blue overalls. Dramatic much?
“Haibo are we building a house kanti?”
“What’s wrong with being prepared?”-Him. He definitely looks a bit more manlier today but the walk lol.
“I see pizza.”
“Want a slice?”
“Obviously.”
He sits down and grabs a slice. Xavier walks in with Logan who’s still asleep. He greets and heads
upstairs.
“I’m curious. How’s baba number two doing?”-he asks.
I shrug. “It’s getting serious but luckily the vomiting has stopped. We went to see a doctor not so long
ago and got to see it.”
“Still regretting it?”-he asks.
I look down. “Babes I don’t regret it anymore but there’s still a lot I think about.”
“Like?”-him.
“You like digging don’t you?”

“I’m dressed for that occasion too.”-he chuckles.
“Fine...like Id find myself thinking about how I’m going to juggle two babies. I worry about Logan. I’m
wondering if I’ll still be able to give him my full love and undivided attention when the time comes.”
“You will.”-Xavier says.
Sheesh.
My eyes go wide as I look back. How long has he been standing there. I bite on the insides of my cheeks.
“I agree with your man over there. I believe you’re more than capable of giving everyone your undivided
love and attention. You’ll see.”
“Plus I’ll be there with you through it all.”
“You’ll be working Xavier.”-me.
“Working won’t mean I won’t be around.”-he says and I look to Athe then back to Xavier.
“You should stop eavesdropping on us girls... It’s rude.”-I giggle.
“True.”
“Ouch fine then but You three ladies should get to packing then. I’m going to call Wendy.”
“Wendy?”-Xavier.
“Three ladies?”-I ask.
He looks up from his phone and goes half blank. “Crap...”
“Xavier I’m going to slap you!”-Me.
“Im sorry. It slipped.”
“Slipped my foot! You knew I wanted to keep this a surprise!”
“Sorry...”-he jogs out of here. Athe laughs.
Well there goes that.
“I think Xavier is hilarious.”-he snorts.
“He’s stupid.”-I lightly laugh with him and rub on my bump. So I’m carrying a girl. I smile to myself. Gosh.
If she's going to be another version of me then I'm not ready at all.
-----------------------------------------
“Moving? To where?”-Nkateko asks sitting down across me. I wasn’t in for a session today I was just
here to tell her the plans that were to follow.
“Pretoria.”
“Damn and you’re okay with that?”
“I’m okay with it now.”
“Wow. I can only imagine how you had to take this in.”-her. “Well it’s pretty unfortunate that you’re
going away I’ve gotten to know you so well and now I have to transfer you to another Therapist around
PTA.”
“You can do that?”
“Yeah I just send your files to this person and there you go.”-she says. I hated the fact that I'll be starting
over with someone else. This wasn’t my cup of tea but if Nkateko was recommending this person then
cool. I’ll take it.
“Thanks. For everything. I don't know where I’d be if it wasn’t for you.”
“You know I’m just a phone call away.”
-------------------------------------
A week passes and the house is practically empty by now. The last truck drove away not so long ago
leaving the two of us here. Moss and Glen had their last working day yesterday. I was of course an
emotional mess when they departed. I cried my lungs out confusing Xavier even more than I should've.
I wanted to walk through it one more time but decided against it. I didn’t want to possibly cry all over
again. I hooked my hand around his waist he put his around my neck and kissed the side of my forehead.
“Lets go.”-him.
“Lets.”
We started walking to the car. “Don’t forget we have to fetch Logan.”-me.
“How can I ever forget Invader. Still can’t believe Athe agreed to watch him for the past few hours.”-
him.
“Athe is not a monster Xavier.”
“I didn't say he was.”
“Then why would it be impossible for Athe to agree to watch our baby.”
“Cause Xander is a handful.”
“No he’s not.”-me.
“Yes he is.”
“He is not. He’s just a young explorer. A busybody.”
“I don’t even get why we’re still going back and forth with this.”-Xavier says and opens my door for me.
“You started it.”-I shrug before getting in the car and sitting.
“Did I?”-he chuckles closing my door. Once he’s in he starts the engine and starts driving towards the
gate.
He pressed on a button to have the gate close. Wendy was going to come here and see what this place
needed in order to be on the market again.
I put on the radio. Boring music starts playing. There’s a car passing us and it seems to slow down as it
did. We had to wait for it to pass when the passenger door opened and out came something flying.
“What the fuck!”-Xavier.
It smashes the windscreen and I find myself Cooped up hiding my face. Xavier also has me protected
underneath him. I’m shaking and sweating in fear. What the hell just happened? I look up Xavier settling
back into his own seat again. Damn. We can’t even see the outside anymore thanks to whatever hit this
windscreen. Xavier opens his door. I hold his arm. “No don’t we can call the police.”-me.
“It’s okay I’m just checking it out.”-him.
I sigh letting him go. He steps out and goes to the front. Whatever hit this windscreen surely damaged
my side the most.
“Crap.”
“What is it?”-I ask from in here.
“Its a brick.”
“A brick?”-I step out too now curious.

It was a brick. What the hell. Who would throw a brick to a car?
“I’ll have to call PG Glass then...”
This surely will cost too much. Wait...what’s this?
“There’s a note here.”-me.
“A note? What does it say?”-him. I carefully turn the brick and take the note from the rubber band.
There’s a lipstick kiss on one side and that’s it. That’s all that’s there.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
47
Chapter 47
How this person knew exactly that we were driving out at the time we did gave me chills. I didn’t like the
thought of being watched. Again. Well we did make it to PG and got the windscreen fixed. At a hefty
price too just as I expected. I’m saying hefty because at this point of our life I’d like us to be wise with
the money we have. I honestly didn’t want to burden Xavier. Not when he’s the sole provider. If this
isn’t enough to show me that I have to really push and make this painting business bigger I don’t know
what is.
Sheesh.
We head off to fetch Logan after leaving PG and I didn’t know how I felt. You see right now I was
thankful for the fact that my baby wasn’t here.
“Azi!”-Xavier calls out and I look to him. “I thought I lost you there for a moment. I’ve been calling.”
“Oh sorry. What were you saying?”
“So you didn’t hear me at all?”
“No...I didn’t.”
“I was asking if you are okay. You’re too quiet for my liking.”-he says and I look away before heaving a
heavy sigh. I think this was affecting me too much. I couldn’t fathom the fact that a brick was thrown our
way and a mere windshield is what protected us from disaster. One of us could’ve gotten hurt.
“I’m fine.”
“That’s not the answer I’m looking for.”-he says.
“How are so calm after everything?”
“What do you want me to do? Pull my hair out?”
“Xavier this is serious.”
“Come on. How bad could this be this was just some random fucked up person who wan-...”
“Are you hearing yourself? Some random person? You think a random person would just throw a whole
brick at us for what reason exactly?”
“Fine who do you think did this?”
“Your sidepiece.”-I shrug and look back to him. He frowns briefly before looking at me too. He focuses
back on the road.
“Are you talking about Diana?”-he sounds dismissive but he hit the nail right on the coffin.
“Would make sense to me I mean if she’s really trying to prove a point.”-me. I look ahead.
“This is ridiculous. There’s no evidence proving that she did this.”

“Oh so you’re suggesting your floozy wouldn’t do this?”
“I didn’t even sleep with her.”
“Why is she acting like this than? There must be something that can drive her this crazy.”-I roll my eyes
and sit back. Xavier gets a call while we headed to Athe's house. A call from the moving company we had
hired to move our things. We were late obviously and them waiting at our place and us not being there
is going to cost us extra.
“Give me about two hours and I’ll be there...I can pay you extra...”-What did I say? “Thank you.”-he
hangs up. So much for saving.
I secure Logan in his seat while Xavier put his baby's bag in the boot. “Friend I’m honestly going through
a heartbreak right now.”
“I’m going to miss you.”
“Haibo why are you talking like I’m never coming to visit you and you the same?”
Sheesh.
“This is going to be an expensive friendship I see.”-I say before engulfing him in a hug. The longest one
we’ve ever shared. In this short time period I’ve given someone else a chance and it turned out great.
Athenkosi is genuinely the best thing to happen to me after everything.
“Expensive or not you’re not getting rid of me that easily. I’ll skype you everyday if I have to.”-he says
and we let go of each other.
“I like the sound of that.”-me. I did.
“I think it’s time we leave.”-Xavier bursts our bubble. I forgot that we had to be in Pretoria as in
yesterday.
“Yeah we should get going. I’ll call you when we get there.”
“Please do.”-Athe says.
Mrs Xulu has her eyes on me. She looked at me with a look I couldn’t process. She always gave me a
weird vibe. I still got it and till date I still wonder why she doesn’t seem to like me. Anyway we leave
minutes after multiple heart-breaking goodbyes.
When we finally get to the new house Xavier is the one who unlocks and allows the men to get started
on moving the few pieces of furniture in our new place. A heavy Logan is sleeping in my hold. I watched
as the furniture got moved into the house and Xavier leading them in. He looked so in charge. The
minutes fly by before the men leave us with a very disorganized house. If I didn’t know better I’d say this
looked like my bedroom back in the palace.
“What do you want to eat?”-Xavier asks as I search in all the mess for our pyjamas.
“Surprise me.”-I say pulling out a whole suitcase of clothing. This might be the one.
“Cool. I’ll be back in a few.”-He says and heads out leaving Logan and I all alone in this huge foreign
house. I look to Logan and notice how he’s taking in his new environment. I think he knows we’re in new
territory. After finding our pyjamas and bathing things we slowly make our journey to the main
bathroom. The huge tub makes the bath far more enjoyable. The door opens while still in our bath and
my mini fright melted away after I confirmed it was Xavier.
“You’re back already?”
“Quick good service.”-he shrugs. “Can I join in?”
“The water is already getting cold...but I’m sure we can add some hot water.”-I suggest. He turns the hot
water on. The bath is warmed again and he joins in right behind me. “Look at us sharing germs.”-I
chuckle.
“That’s a good thing right?”-him.
“I don’t think it is.”
“Might search this up later.”-he chuckles too. Logan splashes water all over the place. I let him be.
“So what did you buy?”
“Fish and chips.”-he says.
“You bought Fish and chips? You yourself? I’m shook.”
“I just hope we’ll be eating more home cooked meals soon because this takeaway thing is not my
favourite and it’s not good for my girl either.”- him. I nearly blushed thinking he was talking about me
but realized sooner that he was talking about our unborn baby.
“My cooking isn’t either.”
“That’s something we can work on. You already know a few tricks and things to get the job done so why
not push it further.”-he says.
“I’d rather learn how to drive honestly.”-me.

“That too. I’m sure you can try both at once.”
“Just like how you said I can juggle two babies?”
“That came from a good place baby believe me.”-he says. That’s too much faith in one person.
I let this brewing argument I had in my head go because of my fear of being called selfish again. I didn’t
want to put my needs and wants before his.
Change of subject.
“So... Remember how you said I don’t have evidence that your floozy is the one who threw that brick at
us.”
“She is not my floozy.”
“Yeah well whatever she is there was a day where Athe and I went out for some food and some white
girl kept on looking at us.”
“Could’ve been anybody.”
“No. I’m now certain it was her.”
“Babe...”
“Why are you dismissing her like this Xavier? Huh?”-I snap. Honestly I’m not liking how he’s acting
towards this whole thing. First he said he thinks a random stranger did this and now Diana doesn’t have
enough evidence to be elected as the one who did this. He's pissing me off. I get up and step out of the
tub taking Logan with me.
I dry and lotion the two of us before dressing him up first. Not even long after that he starts looking
sleepy. “Boy you haven't eaten yet.”-me. I knew if he slept now he’d wake up in the middle of the night
because of hunger. I pick him and go to place him in his crib anyway since I knew he would fall asleep.
I head downstairs. Gosh couldn’t I hire someone to sort out all of this mess. I seriously wasn’t up for the
task at hand.
“I’m not dismissing her.”-he says joining me in the kitchen.
“I don’t want to talk about this.”-I reply opening the box of food.
“We obviously have to because this is bothering you.”

“So this is still not bothering you? Wow Xavier. I think I’m just going to go to bed.”-I say taking a handful
of fries and a piece of fish putting them on a serviette. “Goodnight.”
“Oh so now you’re the one dismissing me.”
“Whatever.”
“Azania you don’t get to just leave like this. This is obviously a problem we have to talk it out.”-he says
grabbing me by my forearm.
“Why are you defending your scrap? Do you like her that much that you can’t even see fault in her?
What is this?”-I half yell. I’m angry at this stupid man in front of me.
“I can’t believe you still want to believe that Diana and I had something going on. Azania I didn’t fuck
her.”-He pulls me closer after that angry note. “You’re pissing me off with all these accusations.”
“I don’t care whether you’re pissed Xavier. I don’t cause I’m pissed too. Now let me go.”
“No. Have you thought that maybe just maybe this could’ve been someone else?”
“Like who?”-I roll my eyes.
“Like Nathi maybe?”-him.
“Why would Nathi throw a brick at us?”
“You still can get him arrested maybe that’s why he wanted to attack us.”
“That’s utter bull...bull...”-I free myself from his hold and head upstairs to eat and calm myself down.
Bull! If Nathi did this he’d be going crazy. He’d be banging on doors and calling people like Nqoba. Bull!
Gosh the bed is still bedsheet less!
I eat my seven fries and fish in imperfect peace. I was hungry yes but I didn’t want to head downstairs
and fight with Xavier again. No.
---
My stomach growls in hunger as I stare into the darkness. Xavier is snoring away next to me and I
wonder ideally when he came to bed. I sit up put my slippers on and head out of our room in the best
silence I can manage. The food is still on the counter lucky for me. I pull one of the huge boxes closer to
the counter step on it and sit on the counter itself. I stuffed my face like no one was watching. The fish
was the first to finish followed by the chips. Right after eating I felt too lazy to even get off of this
counter.
“There you are.”-Xavier startles me giving me a slight fright. Sheesh. The lights aren’t even turned on but
I could see he stepped out of bed as is. The sound of his feet tapping on the cold tile was making it
evident that it was only the two of us awake.
“Was hungry.”-I give reason. When he finally gets to where I’m seated I was positive I was going to ask
him to get me off this counter and take me to bed but instead I wanted him to stay close to me here in
this kitchen.
“You have the right to be hungry.”
“and angry.”-me
“And angry. And Me I was just being stupid and inconsiderate.”
“Very stupid and very ignorant you mean.”

“Yeah.”-him. I lift one leg over his head trapping him between my thighs. “Very. I see why you said it was
her...they were even in her sister’s car.”
Oh now that’s news. I cup his face wishing to see the shade of blue his eyes were right now. “Sister?
When did you figure that out.”
“After you left I went to fetch the cameras and the footage from Moss. I played back the tape of the
time this happened and saw it. Her too.”
I was right!
I completely forgot about the cameras honestly.
“I’m glad footage made you believe me.”
“Don’t say it like that.”-him. I took his arms and put them by my sides. He hooked his fingers by the band
of my pyjama's bottoms.
“Can we just stop talking about Diana and work on your apology to me.”-me.
“Oh”-him. I lift myself up allowing him to lower my pyjama bottoms leaving my panties on.
“This area here needs your attention.”-I point to my heaven spot rolling my eyes after realising he might
not even see.
“Where?”-him. I giggle taking his hand and guide it to where I pointed.
“There.”
“I want to hear you say it.”-he leans in to kiss me but I look away. I can’t have him kissing me and my
fishy breath. His kiss lands on my cheek.
“Not on the lips baby.”-me. He seems to get it as he goes straight for my neck and gently starts kissing
and nibbling on it turning me on even more than I had been. “Xavier...”
“Mhnnn?”
Sheesh. Why is he teasing me for an apology he owes me!
“Here...”-I take in a sharp breath when he cups my sensitive breasts and starts playing with their
hardening nipples.
“Where?”-he chuckles.
“Oh gosh.”-I mumble. I’m putty in his hands right now when I’m suppose to have the upper hand. To hell
with being in charge. “My clit...”
“what about it?”
Fuck him!
“Xavier I will slap you.”-I cry out. Everything is just extra right now. Extra sensitive extra amazing. He
chuckle again before I feel him dig into my panty claiming and owning what I wanted him to...
------------------------
The mood is totally better hours later that morning but the work isn’t. Logan is busy playing on the floor
while I busied myself with rinsing and packing the plates cups spoons etc. In the cabinets.
Xavier left at around 9h00 for his induction programme since he was due to start sooner then he
expected to. He got a call as early as 7h00 for him to get work today. Aren't I lucky to be stuck with all
this work...
My phone rings while I was still packing away the pots. A brief look at the screen and I immediately lost
my sparkle and just felt confused.
“Thandeka.”-I answer checking on Logan.
“Hey sis. How are you?”-she says.
Sis?
“Uhmm... I'm good.”
“I'm good too thanks for asking.”
“Okay.”-me. Yes I don’t think I care.
I clear my throat after seconds of silence. If I wanted to be mean I would’ve hung up but because I’m
trying to be civil I didn’t.
“So...I was wondering if you’d be up for a meet up. I know we didn’t have a splendid time the last time
we met up but I’m hoping to change that. You’re my sister after all and I’d like to get to know you better
and you the same.”-she says.
Am I not glad we moved?
“Eish sorry girl. I don’t live in Jo’burg anymore. I’m in PTA now.”-me. I shuffle on the spot.
“Since when?”
“Since yesterday.”
“Oh...that’s sad.”
“Very.”-I nod with a smile on my face.

“Well since you said you’re in PTA sorry girl. I don’t live in Jo’burg anymore. I’m in PTA now.”-me. I
shuffle on the spot.
“Since when?”
“Since yesterday.”
“Oh...that’s sad.”
“Very.”-I nod with a smile on my face.
“Well since you said you’re in PTA I’m sure I can come visit you when I come to check on Nathi...plus
now you can see him on a regular.”-she says and my soul gets drained again.
Why in the name of everything that’s holy did I mention the fact that I’m in Pretoria right now!? I hit my
forehead checking on Logan again. He hits his toy truck hard on the floor.
“How great...”-I cringe. I hated this thought already.
“Yeah well I’ll give Nathi a call and see when he’s available and then I’ll call you.”
“Can’t wait.”-I say trying to sound an ounce interested.
“Cool bye.”-her.
I’m the one to hang up first before she did. I yell out frustrated by this. Sies. I should’ve just been blunt
and told her she could go milk a Buffalo for all I care.
I manage to ignore 5 of her calls while trying my best to push ahead the work around here. I fed Logan
around 13h00 and put him down for his afternoon nap that’s when I really got a chance to move around
the bigger pieces of furniture in this house. I suddenly didn’t like these couches.
At 15h00 I take a break while eating an apple. I was hungry as hell but cooking just felt like even more of
a task. I get my phone out and text Xavier asking him to bring home takeaways cause I was ravenous.
He calls me just seconds after I sent the text. “Why aren’t you cooking?”-he shoots immediately upon
me answering the phone.
“Xavier don’t be like that.”
“Azania...”
“I’ve been organising things since I woke up. I’m spent. Cooking is the last thing I want to tackle right
now.”
“I see...so you want a salad and low fat yogurt and what else?”
“Are you crazy? I don’t want a salad Xavier.”
“But that’s what I’m getting you. Pregnant women should be eating healthy.”
“Xavier you bring me a salad you’ll sleep on the floor for the next month.”-I warn. He laughs on the
other end and I don’t find anything amusing with what he just said. “Continue to laugh Xavier we’ll see
who’ll have the last laugh.”-me. He stops laughing.
“So that’s wings with extra sauce and MacDonald’s.”
“And a tub of ice cream.”
“You’re really trying your luck here aren’t you?”
“If you know what’s good for you you won’t even ask me if I think this is luck.”-me.
“Tub of ice cream. Got it.”-he hangs up.
---------------------------------
I sit down right across my new therapist. A whole male. Black. Tall. Great personal hygiene. Bald.
Bearded...basically I would’ve definitely attacked him if I was still in my hoeing days. Mr Skosana. He
stood up went to his mini table where there was a jug and two glasses. He fills the two and brings me
one. I thank him as he settled down.
“I hope you’re comfortable. “
“Oh I am.”-I sip on the water and put the glass down.
“Right...so how should I address you? Ms Mnguni...Azania...?”
“Just Azania is fine.”-me.
He nods and starts writing something in my file. Already observing things?
“You can call me Muzi or Dr Skosana however you feel like.”-him. I nod. “So I went through your file
yesterday and I’m quite impressed with the progress Dr Mabunda made with you. “
Okay?
“But there are a few things I’d like to revisit and tackle myself.”
“May I ask why?”
“I have my own method that I feel would work for you.”
Gosh. I’m already exhausted with how much this man is going to put me through.
“Right. I read here in your file that your father...”-Oh I think I’m going to be sick. “...Is the one who
basically started your journey.”
“I suppose.”-me. What a great first day. I roll my eyes on the inside.
“When last did you two see each other? Communicate? Sit in one place.”
I shrug. “I don’t get how this is helping me Dr Muzi. I don’t keep tabs on a man who doesn’t benefit me
in any sort of way.”
“I agree. But I personally have to know in order for me to know what I’m dealing with.”
“You’re dealing with me and not my father.”
“But dealing with you means dealing with your father.”
“I’ve dealt with him already. “-I say. Literally and figuratively. I wonder how he’s coping. “Look Dr Muzi I
don’t have a problem with telling you everything that man has put me through but please can we move
forward.”
He keeps quiet and writes down something I wish I could read for myself. I’m biting on the insides of my
cheeks again regretting the way I just spoke to this man who’s trying to help me. What if he decides to
drop me and leaves me stranded.
“Okay. How are you doing then today?”
Finally. Some progress.

---
After hours of talking to my new therapist I head out. Xavier takes exactly two minutes to come and
fetch me. Logan is with him. It’s a sunny Saturday and I wasn’t feeling the housewarming crap that was
going to take place in a few minutes. Amongst the people that were coming I only knew of this Mike guy
who I didn’t want to meet. Even the others. My brain is already exhausted with what Muzi had me do. I
shook my head at his last statement. ‘Did your fiancé rape you to get you pregnant?’
What type of fart is that?
Xavier would never.
“I have drinks at home. Alcoholic and non alcoholic. I wanted to accommodate everyone.”
I sigh and look at him. “How many people are coming over again?”
“Not more than ten...”-he says and I nod.
We drive in and park. Unlike at Jo’burg here we had a security system. It has been a week since we got
to settle into our new place meaning the unpacking and organising of everything has been done and
dusted. The cameras got installed and were up and running again. Xavier was also already working
everyday of the week apart from the weekends.
“You can go freshen up and I’ll meet you down here when you’re finished.”-Xavier says pecking my
forehead. I nod and head up leaving the two of them there.
‘What do you mean did my fiancé rape me?’-I cringed in my seat. What sicko is this new doctor of mine.
‘People get raped by their partners without them being aware that what they’ve just gone through is
rape.’-he said. I looked at him shaking my head with disbelief.
‘My fiancé would never force me into doing something I didn't want to. I've learned to accept my
pregnancy as it is because...’
‘He forced you to?’
‘No. What the hell?’-me.
‘In your file I saw he’s used abusive words to paint you in. He said a lot of hurtful words suggesting to
me that he was forcing you into accepting a pregnancy you were not ready for.’
I keep quiet. I wasn’t forced.
‘Hence I’m still asking you if he has ever proposed sex when you were...let’s say not in the mood or not
even fully awake to fight him off.’-him.
‘Mr Skosana I’d appreciate it if we didn’t talk about my fiancé in a demeaning manner.’-I said.
‘Okay-...’
“Azania?”-Xavier says bringing me out of my thoughts. “Are you almost done?”-he asks still peeping
through the door. I’m still holding the top I pulled out of the closet for today.
“Yeah sure. I’ll be down in a sec.”-I reassure him. He nods and closes the door leaving me alone here.
Right.
I put on the loose top and a pair of jeggings. I wanted to hide it from these fools coming here even if
they knew I was baking. I put on another weave and brush it back. I pair my outfit with flats before
attending to my makeup. When I’m done I go search for something Logan can wear.
I find him on the floor playing. After changing him I take the dirty clothing to the laundry room leaving
them in the laundry basket.
“You okay?”
“I’m nervous.”-me. I bite on the insides of my cheeks.
“Don’t be. You’ll be fine...”-he says and pauses when he hears the intercom go on.
“Bro-man.”-a voice speaks.
“Mike?”-Xavier.
“Let me in bro.”-He says. I go look at the monitor that was also in the kitchen. I wouldn’t even know if its
him or not.
“There’s another car behind them.”-me.
“Who did you come with?”

“Tim is right behind me and I’m sure Kevin will be in soon.”-he says.
“Let them in babe.”-Xavier says and I press a button letting them in. They drive in and soon I hear the
cars park outside. This is it. The worst coming hours of my life.
I get myself a glass of water and down it in one go. This needed all my strength and acting skills. Not
even a moment later I hear a knock on the door before they let themselves in. Lord help me!
Wait Mike is black? I feel awkward. He walks in followed by a black lady.
“Mike.”-Xavier went towards them dishing out a manly hug to his friend. The other couple walks in. Tim
right?
“Bro-man how have you been?”-he lets him go and kisses the back of Mike's companion’s hand.
“Good. Busy too.”-he chuckles. Logan pulls on my leg. I look down and pick him up realising just how
much I’ve been eying these people that I forgot about my baby. He doesn’t even act like this around
strangers. He rests his head on my shoulder clinging onto my top. “Tim. Laura.”
“Bro.”-This Tim guy. Xavier fist pumps Tim and again kisses the back of the hand of his friend’s
companion.
“Lovely place you have here Xavier.”-Tim's girl.
“Baby...come.”-Xavier. He motions with his head.
Sheesh. I force a smile.
“Hi.”-me.
“Soon to be Mrs King what a pleasure it is to finally meet you.”-Mike.
The formalities...Zimu.
“Likewise.”-me.
“Isn’t she beautiful? “-Xavier says pecking my cheek.
“She is. I’m jealous.”-Mike.
“She’s...black...”-The lady next to him says.

You too.
“Is that a problem?”-Xavier.
“I didn’t know you liked them black.”-she says looking me up and down. I give her a look while Xavier
pinched me. If he didn’t I was going to say something.
Xavier chuckles. “You know what they say once you go black you never go back.”
“Absolutely bro-man.”-Mike.
More of Xavier's friends are coming?
They settle in the lounge while I fed Logan in the kitchen. They talked loudly I could hear everything...
Followed by the deep laughs. The intercom went on again. I attend to it. “yes?”-me.
“Azay?”
“Athe? What the hell? “
“Let us in.”-him. I don't even waste time.
The door opens and he walks in holding two boxes. Sizwe is also holding two. I can't hold in my squeal.
He puts the boxes down before making his way to the kitchen. I pick Logan off the counter. “How did
you...when did you....why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”-me.
“And ruin the surprise?”-Athe.
“Hey Sizwe.”-I say hugging Athe and then him.
“Just so you know my husband dragged me here.”-Sizwe.
“Haibo what were you going to do at home? Watch Mrs X?”
“I had work to do.”-Sizwe.
“Work can wait. We’re here for my friend...and I see you have other people here.”-he says the last part
lower.
I roll my eyes. “unfortunately.”
“I wanna meet them.”-Athe.
“No you don’t.”

“I don’t want to be rude. Come introduce me.”-he pulls me with him to the lounge. “Hi guys.”-him.
“Athenkosi...”-Xavier. “Glad you could make it. Fellas this is Athenkosi my wife's best friend. Athe these
are my friends. Kevin and his girl Jessica Tim and his wife Laura Mike and his girl Oratile.”
“Uhmm...nice to meet you guys. When are we braaing kanti?”-Athe asks looking back to me. I shrug.
Xavier gets up. “I was waiting for our last guests...but it looks like we can get started without them. You
guys can go out to the back and get the fire started.”
“Finally.”-Laura.
They get up some go to the back while others go to their cars.
“Baby can I have a word?”-Xavier. I look at Athe and he nods. I hand him Logan. Xavier leads the way
and I follow him all the way upstairs wondering what this was going to be about. He closes the door
behind him after he allows me to walk in first.
“What did you want to talk about?”-me. I sit down on the bed.
“Are you okay?”
“You can see I’m okay.”-me.
“You’re barely mingling with the ladies here...”
“Because I don’t want to. This shouldn’t be new to you.”
“Can you atleast try?”
“Try what? I already don’t like them nor want them in our house Xavier.”
He sighs heavily. “They’ll be here for atleast three hours. All I’m asking you is to try and be welcoming.”
Oh.
I smile and get up from the bed. “Fine. I’ll amp up my acting then. For you.”-I leave the room.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
48
Chapter 48
I sit next to Athe taking in a deep breath. This day better end before I lose my marbles.
“What did vanilla say?”-Athe.
I watch him walk out heading to where the fire was being started. He didn’t even look at me. Tim comes
back with some meat while Laura carried three lunchboxes stacked on top of each other.
“Things. They’re not important actually... Can you go get us drinks? Or should I?”-I ask still looking at the
activity around me.
“Not a problem. I’ll go.”-Athe gets up leaving Logan with me.
“Exactly why I’m saying the figures should add up.”-Laura.

“I should have my books checked then.”-Oratile. They share a stupid orchestrated laugh clicking their
glasses together before joining me by the sitting pit. “Lovey konje what did you say your name was?”-
she blinks.
“Azania.”-I answer. I liked the fact that Logan was falling asleep in my arms. I kissed his forehead
continuing to hush him to sleep.
“Oh. I see. Is that your son?”-Oratile asks. I nod. “He’s cute. Just wonder how the world will see him.”
“What do you mean?”-I ask.
“Your child is mixed...Azania...obviously he’s bound to be judged or bullied by people around him.”-
Oratile says.
I chuckle. “Wow I didn’t know my own son was mixed...anyway I still don’t see how that is any of your
problem he’s not your child to worry nor fuss about.”
“Tough crowd.”-Laura.
“I was just being honest. Us black women know how it feels like to be judged and made to feel out of
place. We should learn to stick together.”-Oratile.
Gosh.
Just like how she assumed Xavier was dating a white girl and not a black one?
Weird women empowerment ethic.
“What should stick together?”-Athe comes to my rescue. I excuse myself to go put Logan in his crib since
he was already gone with sleep. When I returned Athe handed me my drink. “Yours is alcohol free...just
how you like it.”-he chuckles. I thank him.
“I could actually go for a real drink right now. But you know the situation.”-me. I sip the
champagne...well half a loaf is better than nothing I guess and the replica of alcohol free champagne is
like alcoholic champagne. I'm lying to myself right now. What am I even thinking?
“Yeah...what should stick together?”

“You’re still at this topic?”-Me.
“They wouldn’t answer me.”-Athe.
Jessica clears her throat.
“Us women. Laura started her own support group that is aimed at empowering women. I think Azania
here would love it.”-Oratile says.
“Hai ngisharp. (Nah I’m okay.)”-me.
“Azay.”-Athe nudges me.
“This makes me wonder what you actually do for a living Azania.”-Jessica.
“I was just wondering the same thing.”-Oratile.
“Probably still stripping.”-Laura.
I frown inwardly. Wait How would she even know this?
“I thought Tim said she stopped.”-Jessica.
“Let’s just ask her ladies. What do you do Azania?”-Oratile.
“I bet you she does nothing all day apart from ordering Xavier around.”-Laura. They laugh. When they
finish they have their eyes on me.
“I bet the same thing.”-Jessica.
“I bet you two think you have successful businesses but in actuality you don’t. You three should really
learn to mind your own.”-Athe says.
“Athe it’s okay.”-me.
“No it’s not. “-him.
“I think it’s sad really.”-Oratile.
“What Ora?”-Laura asks.
“Her best friend is standing up for her. Surely shows a lack of confidence.”-Oratile.
“Is that what you think?”-Athe.
“Gay people. Always getting involved in female’s stuff. You’ll never be one of us. ”-Jessica.
Wow.
Athe splashes her with the champagne he had in his glass and then chaos. “Bitch!”-Athe.
“Michael! “-Oratile.
I get up and try holding Athe back but it all goes in vain. I get splashed with alcohol and that’s when I
end up with someone’s wig in my hold. A shoes comes flying. I’m bleeding. What the hell! I grab
something. A glass breaks. “You do not get to disrespect me like that!”-Athe.
“Woah!”-someone interferes. I’m pulled from the crowd.
“What the hell is going on here!”-Tim.
“Stop this madness!”-Kevin. He holds back Jessica.
“She and her confused friend started this!”-Jessica.
“Lord give me strength. Let me go Sizwe! Let me have her!”-Athenkosi breathes out being held back by
Sizwe.
“See. They’re crazy!”-Oratile.
I don’t even know what to say. I’m in pain. How I ended up with a shard of glass embedded in my
forearm baffles me.
“Crazy? You come all the way you came from to disrespect people you barely know?”-Athe.
“Hai suka which one of you is the woman in the house?”-Jessica.
In a split second Athe is on her. Xavier Sizwe and Kevin are rescuing the poor soul. “I will kill you!”-he
says still being pulled to a corner. “You think you can just say whatever the fuck you want to an-...”
“Honey please let it go.”-Sizwe.
“No! You didn’t hear what these things were saying about Azania and I
Sehranmagzine.com
Sizwe and Kevin are rescuing the poor soul. “I will kill you!”-he says still being pulled to a corner. “You
think you can just say whatever the fuck you want to an-...”
“Honey please let it go.”-Sizwe.
“No! You didn’t hear what these things were saying about Azania and I infac-...”
“WOAH!”-the men hold him in place. This was hectic. I look at where the glass cut through me. Sheesh.
If I could just...no...it’s too painful.
“Breathe...”-Sizwe.
I look around. Jessica gets helped up by Laura. It’s her wig that I snatched off? Wonders shall never end.
Jessica spits something out. A tooth. Oh my goodness. Oratile is keeping an eye on Athe while Mike kept
an angry eye on her. I look at Athe who seems to be calming down. Everything is a mess. Glass
everywhere. Blood on the ground. A wig. A nail. Someone’s dignity too. “Breathe baby...”-Sizwe. Xavier
looks back at me and as if only noticing now that I was injured he runs back to me. The angry look in his
face vanishes and now it's purely worry.
“Crap. You’re losing too much blood. Come I’m taking you to hospital.”-him.
I shake my head. “No just take it out.”
“Are you insane? I’m not a doctor. We’re going to the hospital now.”
“Xavie-...”
“I don’t want to hear it.”-he cuts me off. “Can everybody just get the hell out of here.”
Zimu. I bite down hard on my teeth and pull the shard out. That was the second most painful thing I’ve
ever had to do. These people are out of here quickly apart from Athe and Sizwe. When Xavier looks back
at me I swear if he could slap me he would have.
“That bitch. Look at what she did to you. Here. “-he hands me his shirt since he had on a vest
underneath. “We’re going with you.”
“Whatever. Lets go.“-Xavier.
He has Logan sleeping in his hold. We head out. Am I not glad he was not there where this whole fight
broke out.
It’s tense in the car. I don’t want to say anything. I didn’t want Xavier to say anything to me. I didn’t
want him blaming me for this saying I couldn’t just have a normal conversation with three women who
were pretty important to his friends. I felt bad on that part. My purpose was not to create a rift between
him and people he’s known forever but it seems like that’s just what I’m doing here. First his own
mother and now his friends.
I get stitched and bandaged at the hospital. A process that wasn’t as quick as I expected it to be. Athe
also got a stitch. Imagine. My baby was also fine. Ya neh. I’ve been in fights before but this one takes the
top spot.
The two of us decided to leave before while Xavier stayed with Sizwe and took care of the payments.
“Mina friend I’m not sorry for trapping a bitch.”-Athe whispers to me. We weren’t very far from them so
it was still necessary.
I giggle. “Same here...but I was reckless. I could’ve hurt my baby girl because of some silly fight.”
“Yeah I wouldn’t forgive myself if your baba got hurt because of this. I’m sure you’re going to get a
lecture today.”-him.
“Pray for me.”-me.
---
I watched as he cleaned the backyard. He wanted me far away from the broken glass. As I watched him
do this it dawned on me how maybe I started this. Maybe if I was friendlier this wouldn’t have
happened.
I get up from the floor and excuse myself. I needed to do much more important things like check on
Logan. I find myself just staring at him and crying. Not because of what those idiots said to me but
because of how my life just seemed not to be going the way I wanted it to. Logan deserved a better life.
A better mother who didn’t have to deal with so much.
I had my own fiancé ask me to try and be nice to his guests like I couldn’t be nice to anyone. Who does
that? Who does anything I’ve ever done? I wipe my tears away and head to the bathroom to fix my face.
Looking into the mirror I couldn’t help wondering how life would’ve been with Londiwe by my side. I’ve
messed up the awesome relationship I had with Xavier’s mother and now I can’t even vent to her.
Why did I feel so alone?
“Azi...”-I hear Xavier from the passage. Crap. I check myself in the mirror one more time before stepping
out of the bathroom.
“In here.”-I fix my top trying my best to keep it together. He peeps in and let’s himself in. I didn’t mind.
“Oh. I’m done...have you been crying?”-he asked. It can’t be that obvious. I shake my head.
“I’m just cold.”-I lie sniffing while heading to the closet in search of a jersey. He steps in the closet with
me and stops me in my search.
“Don’t lie to me Azania.”-he says. I look down. Why am I tearing up again! “Is it something those girls
said?”
“No...”
“Then what’s up? Talk to me. You don’t have to deal with everything on your own.”-He says and his
words are like a faucet being turned and have water gush out. I was a crying mess with him holding me
close allowing me to cry all over his shirt. “Let it all out baby...all of it.”
I cry to the point where I feel like my eyes are irritated and my head pangs in pain. It felt like I’ve never
cried like this before and it drained me even more. My heart hurt. Xavier brushes my back as I calmed
down. He didn’t push me off or even try to ask me what was wrong after my crying fest. He walked me
to my bed and pulled open the blankets ordering me to get in. “Get some rest.”
“But I have to go cook.”-me.
“No you don’t. Get some rest. I’ll cook.”-he says. I don’t even have the strength to fight him further. I
just nod and remove my flats before he tucks me in “Sleep okay. I love you.”
“I love you too.”-me. He pecks my forehead.

---
Dark room. The smell of smoke. Rat pee. Screams and yells. Agony. Pain. My blood is all over the
bedsheets of the cheap hospital bed I laid in. “Azania!”. Bloody gloves. Dirty sheets. Heat. Again.
Another soul gone. “Azania”
‘Is it done?’-he asked looking up from his phone.
‘Yes. My money.’
‘You said R3000 angithi? (right?)’
“Azania!”
‘Cash.’
‘Done. Get her cleaned. I don’t want problems.’
‘Of course.’
“Azania!”-he yells and my eyes shoot open. I’m in a pool of my own sweat and tears. I look around and I
find myself panicking while clasping tightly onto a shirt. Xavier’s. “You’re okay. It was just a bad dream.”
“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. “-My body is trembling. I feel cold. I feel alone. I can’t breathe. I can’t
breathe! I gasp for air but nothing is coming in. “Xavier! I.. Can’t breathe!”-I manage. I’m clinging onto
his arm.
“Azania. Calm down!”-he encourages. He breathes and tells me to do what. I manage to get some air in
and calm down still clinging onto his shirt. “Baby...breathe. Look at me.” He gives me water which I
down. It goes dead quiet here.
“He’s coming.”-I cry.
“Who? Who’s coming?”
“Victor. He’s coming. I don’t want him to come here. I don’t want to see him.”
“Azi...”
“He’s going to hurt me again.”-me. I could hear him. Why couldn’t he just leave me alone.
“You’re safe here with me baby.”
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
49
Chapter 49
Xavier's POV.
I managed to calm Azania down to the point where she dosed off before allowing myself to fully worry
about what the hell just happened here. We can't be back to square one all over again. I felt helpless
and defeated. I didn't know what to do or even what the hell triggered this. I head downstairs where I
left Xander. That was careless but I knew the toys would've kept him busy for a while.
I head to kitchen. Oh goodness. I don't even remember why I came in here. I head back to where Xander
was eager to try rid every though gushing through my head. It's not happening. Xander walks up to me
and taps on my knee.
The smile on his face pretty evident of his innocence.
I knew now this was beyond the hands of some new therapist. This needed serious intervention and I
had to put my feelings needs and wants aside for my woman.
I dial Nkateko's number. It rings and I’m relieved when she answers.
“Well this is a surprise. Mr King how's Pretoria?"-her.
I sigh. This is not a friendly call whatsoever.
“Hey Nkateko...look I need your help. It’s Azania she’s having another setback...”-I get straight to the
point.
“Oh...that’s terrible. Do you know what triggered it?”
I sigh again scratching my head. “I’m not sure. She went to see that new doctor you suggested but even
from before that she was just off.”
“Well...I don’t know what to do at this hour.”
“That’s fine I just wanted details of a rehabilitation centre around here.”
“That I can give you in the morning. Will that be okay?”-she asks.
“I’ll take whatever I can get. Thank you.”
“Stay strong.”-she said before I hung up.
6 weeks. That’s all it is. If It has to do with the well-being of my Azania then so be it.
----------------------------
I wake up after hearing a door open. It’s her sneaking back in here. I sit up switching the lamp on. Paint.
It’s all over her pyjama top and there’s even some on her forehead. I check the time and it’s 4h04 in the
morning. I swear I wanted to smile at her adorable sight but her painting in the early hours like this
meant trouble.
“Come here.”-me.
“So you’re not going to shout at me for dirtying my clothes?”-she asks. I frown. I’m not even awake
enough for this.
“No I’m not. Just come here.”-me. I see a faint smile on her face before she rushes to me. I’m not going
to go hard on her. Not now “You okay?”
She shakes her head. “I feel like I’m losing my mind. I feel trapped. I feel like my mind is fighting itself.
I’m actually okay.”-her.
I frown. Anyway...
“Remember that rehab you suggested a while back?”
“uh...?"
"The rehabilitation centre baby."
"What about it?"-her.
"Well...I think now is the time y-..."
"Woah woah woah...are you tryin to get rid of me?"-her. She sits back.
"No that's not what I'm saying."-me.
"You're sending me away Xavier. You don't want me anymore."
"Azania."-me. She gets up and I'm up too rushing to block her way out. She's already teary. " I'm not
chasing you away okay. All this is about is your well-being. You are not okay Azania. You need help far
beyond what I and that new doctor of yours can offer. I'm not getting rid of anyone here apart from
your demons."
She looks at me and I'm nervous. This can go two ways. She can full out blow another fuse or agree with
me. I'm just hoping it's the second option because I don't want to fight her.
"I...spoke to Nkateko yesterday and she said she'd send me the details today. Meaning we can get this
over and done with sooner than later."-me.
She finally nods and I feel myself relax. Thank the Lord.
---
A few hours into the day I find myself helping my girl pack. A bittersweet moment. It was quiet just
Xander making some noise here and there. I look up to the sound of Azania giggling. I frown.
"And then?"-me.
"It's nothing."-she says. I put the top I had in my hold down and fold my arms in front of my chest. She
giggles again shaking her head. "Why are you so serious? I'm just laughing at what happened yesterday.
Come to think of it this was all just a ridiculous fight. "
"A reckless one too."-I add.
She nods. "That too."
"What did those ladies say though? Athe couldn't have just snapped like that."
"Oh they said a lot of things Xavier."-her.
"Like?"
She sighs sitting back. "I suck you dry while I sit here and do nothing...which is true. I-..."
"No it's not." She gives me a look. "You don't suck me dry."
"Xavier I sit here and watch you go to work every single day. That must say something about me. "
"You sit here and watch our son don't you? You're pregnant Azania. Should I remind you of the last
asshole you worked for? You are even busy with your art business which is something. You're not
sucking me dry."-me.
" You're just saying that."-her.
"I'm not. In fact can I tell you something?"-me. I stop myself from smirking. Azania nods I could tell she
was too busy biting on the insides of her cheeks to answer me. " Those women who were here they've
never worked for a damn thing too. They are just depended on their men. Oratile didn't even finish
grade 10. Jessica tried to start some shitty business thing but that didn't even go anywhere. Laura is also
trying the same stunt but you know the drill."
Azania chuckles covering her mouth. "You lie!"
"I'm serious babe."
"You should've heard how they kept on blabbing about things that didn't concern them. The whole
stripper thing...I still don't get how they knew that."
"Who brought that up?"
"Laura. "
"Ohh remember that day I saw you at that club and I took you there and blah blah...?"-me.
"How can I ever forget how the love of my life picked me up and threw me over his shoulders like a sack
of potatoes?"-she says rolling her eyes.
"We were there for a bachelor's party remember? It was for Tim. He saw me leave and asked me who
you were as an obviously concerned friend and I told him."-me. That is how I remember it. I'm assuming
when those two were enjoying their pillow talk session they couldn't keep out of our business.
"That makes more sense. I don't even think I ever want them coming here for anything."-she says. I
know she's serious.
"For your safety yes."-me.
Again I'm thankful my last guest didn't show up or else I doubt I'd still be breathing. I zip up the last bag
and put it next to the others.
"Xae?"-she calls me when she returns from the bathroom.
"Spencer?"
She chuckles. "Can Spencer cut your hair?"
I swear my eyes go wide. "What? My hair? You want to cut my hair?"
"Please."
"You can't cut hair."-I say getting up from the mini chair. "You don't even cut your own hair."
"How do you know that?"
"You're forgetting I've been living with you for almost two years now."
"I can cut hair Xavier. I can. Just sit down and let me show you."-she says.
"I'll pass."-me. I don't think going bald looks good on a white guy.
"Come on baby please...please..."
"And if you mess my hair up?"
"I wont."
I sigh. I'm literally signing up for my own terror here. I sit on the chair she brings me remove my top and
cringe in fear. She scoops the locks of hair to one side before...snip...I watch it fall down. And not even
long after that another...and soon my whole lap has my hair on it. She turns my head. Snip. She turns my
head again. More cutting.
"Look up."-her.
I do. I'm worried. Terribly worried. She runs her fingers through the hair. " Say something Azania."
"Oh so I'm not spencer anymore?"
"Azania..."-I warn. She goes to the bathroom to fetch a mirror.
"I love you. "-she held the mirror to her chest.
"Just let me see. "
"You promise you won't hate me after this?"
"Azania. "
"I love you Xavier."-she says and I regret this even more. I grab the mirror from her and take a deep
breath before looking at myself. I look left. I look right. I get up from the chair and head to the bathroom
and try looking at the back.
I turn and face her. "Maybe you should do my hair more often."
"You're joking. "
"Who taught you how to do this?"
"YouTube."-she chuckles.
----------------------------------------------------
I find a parking space right by the entrance. The engine dies when I turn the key and I look back. She's
still holding a sleeping Logan in her arms cherishing this moment because 6 weeks were clearly going to
be forever.
"I don't want to go."-she sniffs. I sigh get out of the drivers side and head to the back joining them. I put
my hand around her shoulders bringing her closer to me. She lays her head on my shoulder.
"I also don't want you to go but Baby you need this. Remember those days we went camping...you were
so carefree and happy...remember how you were before you left here and went to Dubai? I just miss
you being genuinely happy and carefree baby and it's been so long since I've seen that side of yours. You
need this Azania."-me.
A knock on my window side disturbs us. It's Nkateko. I open the door and step out. We shake hands.
"I'm sorry to disturb you two."
"No worries I'm just surprised you came all this way for Azania."
"I care about my patients Mr King."-she says. Azania comes to join us carrying a sleeping Logan who I
offer to take but she refuses.
They share a brief hug. Nkateko is the one who explains to Azania a bit more of what was going to take
place in there. It was very different from their private sessions which I believe will make a huge
difference and heal my girl. If this doesn't work then I don't know what will.
"I'm actually fine."-Azania. Nkateko looks at me and I look to Azania.
" Baby..."
"Stop thinking there's something wrong with me or my mind."-her.
"Can you excuse us for a moment."-I ask Nkateko. She excuses herself. " We talked about this."
"Look Xavier I don't want you thinking I'm a crazy bei-..."
"That's not what I'm thinking baby. I just you to be well again. Don't do this."-I sigh helplessly.
" I'm kidding Xavier."-she chuckles. "Look at me. I want nothing more than to make you happy again. I
want to go a day without feeling like I'm trapped. Also I have our girl here to keep me sane here. I'm
going to miss you though..."
"I'll call you."
"Are calls even allowed in there?"-her.
Silence.
I look at her before she hands me Xander and pecks me on the cheek. I smile. Nkateko helps Azi with her
bags and soon enough I leave heavy hearted. Xander was busy chewing on a toy of his. He was awfully
quiet though making me feel like he knew what was going on here.
-------------------------------------------------
"Make sure he eats at around 09h00 and -..."
"13h00 I got it Mr King."-Thathi says. I know I've been preaching for almost 30 minutes now about how
things should go with Xander. What time he should sleep. Where he's supposed to play and many more
things she can't flop.
"Are you sure you've got everything I just said?"-I ask one last time. She rolls her eyes and nods.
"Yes. I got it."
"Okay. Fine let me go."-I say and peck Xander's forehead before heading out. A nanny was the best
solution for now since my mom was all the way in Jo'burg and we still weren't talking.
I grab myself some breakfast at McDonald's before rushing to work. I was almost late but I had enough
time to down almost all the food I had purchased.
I get to my office sit and get my phone out. A text from Tim.
*Brosef I hope the ma'am is okay. Laura apologizes for the drama.*-his text read. Wow. I don't bother
replying. I didn't want to think about that right now. There's a knock on the door. I look up and it's Max
the one who usually delivers sorts and receives our mail. I frown.
"Max?"
"You have a package."
"I do?"-me. He comes in and puts the box on my desk. I haven't even started with work and already I'm
signing mail papers.
He leaves after I thank him. 'What if this is a bomb?' I laugh thinking to myself. I check for a letter or a
message or even an indication of what may be inside. Nothing. I grab a pair of scissors and stab through
the tape. It's open. A card. I reach for one of the materials inside.
The hell!
Thongs!
G-strings!
Are these even clean?
"Sorry I couldn't come to the housewarming party X thought it be indecent for me to waltz freely with
your "wife" around. Anyway here's my gift to show that I'm still a very decent human. Hope it brings
warmth to your heart and soul. Love you. ∞D"-I read the card.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
50
Chapter 50
Xavier's POV.
I washed my hands while my phone rang near my ear jammed between my shoulder and ear. She
answers.
"Hello Loverboy didn't expect you to call so soon."-she says. I close the tap and dry my hands.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"So you got my gift? A thank you would have been nicer you know that right?"-she purrs.
"Diana."-I warn.
"Relax. I know that wife of yours isn't around. And yes they're clean...well some of them atleast."-she
giggles. I sigh.
"Diana how the hell did you know Azania is not around?"-I ask.
She keeps quiet.
"Are you following me?"
"Why are you overreacting?"
"Stop what you are doing. Stop it.
"Why should I?"
"Because Diana this is crazy! You're stalking me and my family. Stop it!"-I half yell.
She giggles.
"Xavier I'm not stalking you. I'd never do that. I'm just keeping an eye on the people I love."
"Look I'm not doing this with you right now okay. I have work to do."-me.
"I'll see you later than."-she says and hangs up abruptly.
This is beyond making me frustrated but right now I need to focus on getting some work done before
my meeting at 12h00.
---
"Men Women. Thank you for joi..."
I can't allow myself to not think of the box that was still resting on the floor of my office. I couldn't even
think of any other reason why she won't back off when I've made it pretty clear to her that I didn't want
her. I have a woman in my life. She knows that but why the hell won't she back off.
Okay maybe inviting an old friend was a stupid idea but before everything we were great friends. Our
relationship was strictly business and now I probably messed it up again. Maybe if what happened back
then and in the kitchen didn't happen we wouldn't be here.
I love Azania. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want her to even know I was in contact with Diana when I
already know she doesn't like her at all. I have to get my sh-...
"Mr King!"-Susan calls me out snapping me out of my thoughts. All eyes are on me. " If there are better
things for you to do Mr then you're excused."
"I...sorry. I just have a lot going on."-me.
"Maybe he should solve this since he thinks he's important."-Ronny says. I frown. I'm sure they've been
talking about this new app we're coming up with that Susan is in charge of.
"Good idea Ron."
"What problem?"-me. I'm seriously irritated by their undermining actions.
"The app selective buttons have a gap in them. We don't want it."
I frown. These people have never come across this?
"Have you tried
?"-me. They look at each other. Wow.
What the hell.
She tries it and viola. They look back at me and I could tell Susan wanted to say something. I'm so over
this meeting. "Fine this meeting is over."
"Finally."-I mumble to myself getting up from my seat taking my tablet with me. As I was about to walk
out of here Susan called me back. I heaved out a heavy sigh before turning back to face her. She had this
look about her that always made me want to stay out of her way. But today I wasn't having it. She
lowered her glasses and glared at me.
"You think you're clever don't you?"-her. I chuckle. What is this even about? "You think you can just
waltz in here and act like you're the best thing since sliced bread Mr King?"
"I don't get what's wrong with that though Mrs Lincoln."
"I can get you fired just like that..."
"I'd like to see you try..."-me.
It's an intense starring contest that makes me feel awkward. I walk away. I have more pressing things to
do other than this stupid starring contest. Once I'm back in my own space I get busy with some research.
The box is placed next to the trashcan.
---
At 19h00 I'm out of here. Exhausted and filled with knowledge. I just wanted to call my woman eat bath
and if Xander is awake have a moment with him. I get into the my car and drive out. Before heading
home I stop at woolies for some needed essentials.
I connect my phone to Bluetooth and call Azania. At this hour I wonder if she'd be able to answer my call
or if she wont. She answers and my heart melts. "Baby."
"Hey...you sound like you're busy with something."
"Oh I'm eating. I know I can't cook but I swear I'd cook something way better than this."-she says and I
find myself chuckling while shaking my head.
"I can't send you takeaways right?"
"If you want me to get lectured about that then go ahead."-she says.
"Hectic."
"Just like the call rule."
"What call rule?"-I ask.
"You...you can't call me everyday. Only once a week. Apparently it's distracting to have someone call
you when your here."
"Oh...well that hurts."-I genuinely admit. "How am I expected to only call my woman once in a blue
moon?"
"I also don't know but this will give me a chance to miss you again...and maybe plan our wedding."-she
giggles shyly making me smile.
"Our wedding huh...I like the sound of that."
"Of course you do. Anyway where's my son?"
"At home probably sleeping or being cranky as ever towards Thathi."
"Is she good?"
"Hopefully for her sake she is."-me.
"That's good. She lays a hand on my baby you fire her."
"That's so sweet of you honey."
"Not you Xavier. I'm talking about Logan here."-she says. I chuckle taking a left to our street.
"So basically you don't care about your man here."-me.
"That's a different situation Xavier. She touches you I kill her. Simple."-her.
"Damn I-..."-I pause seeing the car parked by the driveway.
"Baby?"-Azania. " Are you still there?"
"Uh yes. I am. Look baby can I call you back later."
"You know you can't. "-her.
Crap.
I watch her get out of her car and close the door.
"Can we probably text?"
"I doubt. I'll ask though."
"Please do. I'm sorry I have to go like this."-I say after parking.
"It's okay. I love you."
"I...I love you more."-me. I hang up switch off my engine and step out already fuming. How can Thathi
let this woman in here!
"Loverboy."-she says and steps forward.
"What do you want here? How did you even know I live here?"
"You sent me your location remember when you asked me to come here and support your little
housewarming bull."
"Okay but what are you doing here? Leave."
"That's not how you treat a guest Xavier."
"You weren't even invited here."-I half shout.
"But I did say I'd see you later. I thought you knew what that meant."-she says and has me sighing.
"Diana."
"I had your worker or whatever prepare us something to eat
Sehranmagzine.com
switch off my engine and step out already fuming. How can Thathi let this woman in here!
"Loverboy."-she says and steps forward.
"What do you want here? How did you even know I live here?"
"You sent me your location remember when you asked me to come here and support your little
housewarming bull."
"Okay but what are you doing here? Leave."
"That's not how you treat a guest Xavier."
"You weren't even invited here."-I half shout.
"But I did say I'd see you later. I thought you knew what that meant."-she says and has me sighing.
"Diana."
"I had your worker or whatever prepare us something to eat after that I promise to leave without any
drama."-she says.
I look at her for a good moment. I can't just drag her out of here like that. Just this so called supper and
then she's out.
"Fine."-me. She squeals and dives into a tight hug. I roll my eyes. We head in after I gather a few of my
stuff. Inside I find Thathi putting the final touches into what looks like a dinner setup. I greet her and
inquire if she had called an uber to come here to get her. She agrees. She also tells me about Xander
being asleep upstairs and I have to admit I was impressed.
Upstairs I got a chance to refresh and change into something a bit more comfortable. I kiss my baby on
the forehead and switch on the baby monitor.
"Thathi gone already?"-I ask making my way to the kitchen.
"Yep. She said something about seeing you tomorrow."-Diana says. I nod and get two plates out and
start dishing out some food for us to eat. I eye her as she opened the fridge and got two beers out. She
puts one on the counter and opens the other.
She takes a sip and then looks at me. "What?"-her.
"Don't you have to drive to Jo'burg after this?"-I ask.
"Nope."-she puts hers on the counter too. "I booked a hotel around here close by."
"Don't you have work to do?"
"Took a few days off. Relax."-her.
I surrender by putting hands up. After I finish dishing up we head to the lounge where we graced the
seats and started eating. Thathi can cook no lie. Diana passes me my beer and I open it.
"You see I don't bite."-she says.
I chuckle. "But you stalk ruin property and send me inappropriate stuff right?"
"Now you're making me sound dramatic. I just did all those things to get your attention."
"And what if you hurt my girl in the process?"
"Fuck her."-she mumbles but I heard her.
"Fuck her huh?"-me. I chuckle and get back to eating.
"You know I'm not crazy Xavier."
"Yeah sure."-I say sarcastically. I don't even understand how we got to the point where she's here eating
my food.
"I'm serious. All I ever wanted was your attention but you didn't want to give me that. I thought that one
special night we shared was going to change that but you still went ahead and found another...woman
to replace me with."
"Look. That night was a mistake. There were no feelings involved. Heck we only kissed the second time
around and still there were no feelings."
"Xavier you slept with me."
"It was a mistake."-I defend.
"So you just used me and then went on straight to another woman?"
"Melissa and I were over. You and I were a mistake and honestly I thought you thought the same ass
thing and now you're acting up."
"Because I love you too Xavier. You'd know that if you weren't busy fucking black ignorant coochie!"-she
yells. I put my fork down and fold my arms in front of my chest.
"There is no need for you to talk about my fiancée like that in any way whatsoever am I clear?"
She looks away.
"And I want to make this clear I'm not in love with you. We're just friends that got wrapped up in the
wrong shit."
"Does she know we fucked?"
"Stop it. "

"Does she?"
"Diana."
"Oh so she doesn't. I wonder what she'll say about all of that then."-she smirks. I clenched my fists in
anger and felt how my face started heating up. "That might just drive her coocoo don't you think?
Maybe I should get going..."
She gets up takes a sip of her beer and turns to leave but halfway on her journey she looks back. "A
simple thing can be done to avoid all of this Loverboy."-she blows me a kiss after that. She shuts the
door behind her.
I sigh and just gather myself and head to bed.
------------------------------------------
The following morning I don't feel like going to work. I didn't want to because of my clouded mind. It
kept thinking of how Diana would just tell her of our stupid encounter that meant zero to me but
everything to her. I didn't like this thought. This shouldn't even be relevant since it happened years ago.
"Dadada."-Xander brings me out of my thoughts and I sit up meeting with my adorable little man. I smile
forgetting for a moment about that woman. I get up and go pick him up from his crib but that's not
something he wanted. Its 06h45 and the boy already has energy. I take a few photos on my phone and
send them to Azania. Hopefully she could view them and text me back. I missed her.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Diana's POV.
How unfortunate am I?
I have to run around like a mad woman for a man I love and one who clearly loves me back. It's
ridiculous but I won't rest until he sees what I see. I won't rest until he presses me hard against the wall
while drilling me like crazy.
I sit up and stretch. It's a beautiful gloomy looking day and honestly it made me feel all sorts of
powerful. I check my phone for any messages but see none. Xavier must be tripping. I decide I should be
the one to text him first.
*Morning Lover*-I text him. Nothing as sexy as waking up to a text from your woman.
I get off the bed and go to order some room service because I was hungry and making breakfast would
waste my time. I go shower in record time. A knock on my door makes me smile. My food is here. I go
and attend to it after wrapping my body in a towel. I felt like a queen. The only thing left for these
people to do for me is feed this food to me but that on it's own is too much to ask for...right?
I get dressed before eating and calling them back in to fetch their dishes. The perks. I grabbed my phone
and dialed an uber to come and fetch me to take me to work. I know what you're thinking...I took a few
days off right? Wrong. I lied. I wanted to surprise my Xavier with something more special then a brick
and a box full of lingerie. Probably something he'll appreciate more than my visit yesterday. I blush
thinking of his shocked face and how he'd just want the two of us working together again.
We we're such great partners honestly. The Uber arrives and drives me to work. I check my phone again
to see if he's texted me back but he hasn't. My heart breaks a little when I notice he's read it. But there's
one from my mother and just as I was about to answer it my phone rings to her call.
"I told you not to call me."
"What is this I hear about you transferring to Pretoria Diana!"
"Who told you that too?"
"Is that why you dumped Zach here at my house unannounced! Diana what the hell are you up to?!"-she
yells. What a drama queen.
"Woman calm down. Diana is a grown adult now. I'll explain everything to you later."-I hang up sighing.
That almost ruined my mood. Almost. I text Davis my P.I curious on what information he might have
right now. But he too doesn't reply immediately.
"Thanks."-I thank my uber driver and walk into the building. It's already super high-tech and upgraded
than where I worked.
The reception lady is the one who shows me to the HR manager who shows me around the building. He
shows me where I'll be working and finally decides to introduce me to the team I'll be working with. My
fingers were crossed and moist as this part arrived. They were in a meeting. I scanned the room...and...I
smirk.
"Ladies gentlemen. A moment please."-they stop and focus on us. Xavier finally notices me. "I'd like you
to meet Ms Lane a new member to your team."
"Wait what!?"-Xavier.
Yes baby. I'm here.
"Hopefully all of you will with together as a team and not disappoint the company and I."-HR man says.
"Mr King since you both are newbies here I'd like you to make her feel comfortable. You'll be sharing
your office with her for a few days until further notice."
Things just seem to be working out in my favour now honesty.
I smirk.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
51
Chapter 51
"Hi. My name is Azania."
"Hi Azania."-they all say back as we sat on chairs in a circle. It felt like I was at an AA meeting or it atleast
looked like I was. The amount of focus and empathy in here was on another level.
"I...I've also been hurt in my past and I can't seem to forget or even deal with all of that."
"What happened?"-they ask. It was like this with everyone.
I sigh. Now telling this to a handful of people is going to be completely different than just one trained
doctor. I wasn't exactly one for that but if I wanted to feel better this was what I had to go through. To
heal. To feel better. "I've been hurt by the one person whom I believed would protect me forever. My
father..."-I manage to say before becoming emotional again.
My first emotional session was an hour ago in my tiny room. I don't know why but I just broke down
right there and then when I woke up. I just felt hurt and again alone even if Xavier was there for me.
"...I though I was okay but I wasn't. I thought I could handle everything but I couldn't. I thought I was
strong enough to just suppress these memories but they would just resurface and hit me where it hurt
the most."-I finish off after narrating the best I could but I swear the moment those words left me I felt
lighter. I felt new. I felt understood.
It was my third day here and only today did things start to make sense for me. I looked around again
before sitting down and David the guy next to me stood up too.
We've talked a couple of times nothing tangible.

"Hi. My name is David."-he says.
"Hi David."-We greeted him back.
"I've been hurt in my past aswell."
"What happened?"-we asked.
He gives a small sad smile before going back to his drained state. A sight I've known him for. " When I
was little I'd go to bed and mother would read me a bedtime story. I remember the stories so well that I
can still recite them today. They were my favourite but now they just remind me of what a terrible witch
my mother was."
Sheesh.
I frown. Not because I'm judging him or his story but because what terrible thing could a mother do to
his child apart from physically disciplining them?
"My mother used to molest me. After each story she'd assume I was out cold and just start touching me.
When I was fifteen the same year my mother got divorced I found a whole photo album of all my
pictures. I was...I don't know...but I was something. I didn't like it nor did I ever enjoy it. She died when I
was 22 and I still havent been able to heal and accept what she did to me. I wanted her to pay but she
chose to die..."-he says with no emotion whatsoever.
Damn. I was just speechless after that confession.
---
"Is it better than yesterday's cooking?"-I ask sitting next to Yandie.
"If by better you mean some seasoning then yes."-she chuckles. I bite on the insides of my cheeks not
really feeling as hungry as I should be. " You still need to eat though for your baby."
"I know. I just don't feel like eating right now."-I admit.
"Well..."-She says and leans forward closer to my little bump. "listen here baby your mommy needs to
eat so you can be strong and healthy."
I giggle. She moves away. "How about now? You still not hungry?"-she asks.
"I think that bought back a little appetite. Let me eat before you tell my baby other things."-me.
We eat and surprisingly I manage to finish the whole plate of food. Today's food tasted way better than
the barf we had yesterday.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Suzanné's POV.
Without Xavier here things have been a lot different. For my mom they've been about dealing with
losing your son while he's still alive. For me it's not having someone to talk to especially after the break I
took from my cheating husband Ivan.
Yes I was still angry at him for not telling me ages ago about Ivan cheating but that was not the
important part here. The important part was trying to fix the remainder of our relationship before things
perish completely. Even if mom didn't like to admit it she missed Xavier too.
I put the finishing touches to the dinner table before calling my mother downstairs. And Olivia. I still
don't get this girl and what her calling is in this family.
She's the first one down followed by my mother and Olivia's stupid boyfriend. I even forgot his name.
"Oh food. Finally."-Olivia says.
"Suzanné if it tastes just as good as yesterday's food then I'm in."-he says. I try keeping my eyes still and
unrolled.
"Mom have a seat."-me. She looks at me before sitting.

"Has Xavier called?"-she asked. This was a daily question.
"No he hasn't."
"I still feel like you should call him yourself."-Olivia.
"Liv keep out of this."-me.
"So you still think my pointers are useless?"-her.
"You're a child Liv. If Xavier is the one who messed up he should be the one apologising. Not the other
way around."
"Why are we pretending like mom didn't push Xavier away by not supporting his decisions. He's also
grown in his eyes you do know that right?"-she says.
"You know what let's just eat and enjoy this meal like intended."-me.
"Oh so when I mention a valid point we sweep it under the rug and eat? I see."-Liv.
"You know what...nevermind."-I dish up for myself. I didn't like thinking that Liv was right about what
she said. Either way Xavier should apologize.
---
"And what did you do?"-me.

"Eat Lobster mom. It doesn't taste as nice as dad made it sound."-Ty said frowning hard. I laughed. It
was day in New York. I missed my son and even my husband Xavier should apologize.
---
"And what did you do?"-me.
"Eat Lobster mom. It doesn't taste as nice as dad made it sound."-Ty said frowning hard. I laughed. It
was day in New York. I missed my son and even my husband but I hated his guts. Even the mere fact that
he left even after we fought didn't make me feel secure.
"Anyway mommy dad says he loves you."-Ty says. I cringe my heart breaking.
"Has he been with that woman?"-me.
"Who? miss Gabi?"
"Yes."-me.
"No he hasn't."-Ty says.
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Xavier's POV.
She sits next to me.
I'm trying my best to remain professional but honesty if she speaks to me I'm losing all my cool.
The meeting ends and I walk out of here faster than anything ever.
"Xavier wait..."-I hear her. I don't halt until she calls me out again. "Why are you leaving me behind like
that?"
"Why are you here Diana."
"Didn't you hear I work here now."
"Cut the bull Diana. You told me you took a few days off from work and now this?"-I look her in the eye.
"I may have lied a little."-her.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"-I ask. I didn't want an answer from her. I didn't even want to talk to
her but now I was forced to.
I walk away. I could hear her heels clicking behind me as I walked heading to my office. The first thing I
see that's still there by the floor is the box. Gosh. I want to disappear now and forever. I want to move
away again but that's just more money. I just hated how her being here is actually all my fault.
She sits down right across me and folds her arms in front of her chest.
"So this was your plan all along?"
"What are you talking about Xavier?"-her.
"This! This whole thing was your plan huh?"-I snap.
"Lower your voice Mr King. I just accepted a higher paying job that's all I did."
"This job conveniently had to be where I'm working at."
"Xavier you don't own this place."-she says.
I clench my fists out of frustration. I think I'll just jump off this building because this was clearly a
nightmare. How the hell do I even tell Azania about this.
----------------------------------------------------------
The following day is just as awkward and tight. She sat right across me talking on the phone with a
moving agency that solidified everything. She was definitely moving to Pretoria and there's nothing I
could do to change that. She mentioned right before she got the call that She'll be as professional as
possible.
She promised to do that and I kind of believed that was possible. We've been proffesional before. I just
hope she stops all her crazy acts and behaves normally again.
"Okay thanks."-she hangs up and puts her phone aside focussing back on the stack of papers in front of
her. She looks up and only then did I notice I was starring. "What?"
"Nothing."-I look away.
I focus back on the papers in front of me too. It's dead quiet in here.
"Look X I'm sorry if I came off as this crazy good for nothing bitch that I'm not...I just thought that thats
what I needed to get your attention and maybe just maybe to have you be with me."
"Why are we talking about this?"
"Cause I see it's ruining this working relationship of ours. Look I know I said I'll be professional and yes I
will be."
"How can I be sure about this?"-I ask.
"I...I took my pills today. I'm thinking clearly."-she says. I frown.
"Pills?"
"Yes. Pills. Relax."
-------------------------------------------------
Four weeks go by and I've made peace with Diana being around. She may have managed to remind me
how fun and challenging it was to work with her. We luckily don't share an office anymore which makes
me feel so much better and more confident about the work that I do.
"Hotwings or regular wings?"-she asks holding up a paperbag.
"Is this even up for debate?"
"Hotwings it is."-she hands me my paperbag and I shut my laptop. "What are you working on?"
"Something of my own. It's not that interesting though."
"If you say so."-her.
There's a moment of silence where we devour our wings in peace. The silence is interrupted by a phone
ringing. Hers to be specific. She reaches for it and answers after swearing a couple of times to whoever
was calling. "What?"-her. "But then I told you not to call me when I'm working... Yeah... What about
him? Look mom Zach is old enough to know I'll be back to see him soon...I will mom. Fine. Bye."-she
huffs putting the phone aside.
"What was that all about?"-me.

"Oh just Zach saying he misses me. The boy knows I'll be back soon but he just doesn't want to quit."-
her.
"Zach? You mean your son right?"
"The same one."
"The same one you interrupted my sleep for one night?"-me.
"The same one who didn't want to be born on the 21st and decided to come earlier."
"Wow I can't believe I haven't seen him since then. How old is he now?"-me.
"4."
"Grown huh."
"And too fast."-she says and I find myself nodding while thinking of my own baby. He'll be two soon and
it feels like time just went faster than anything I can imagine.
At around 19h00 we're allowed to leave. We say our goodbyes to each other. When I get home Thathi is
already preparing to leave. Xander is playing on the floor today instead of being asleep like he usually
would be. This makes it the perfect opportunity to video call Azania. She's been wanting to see him
awake again.
It rings and she answers after a few rings. I smile instantly when I see her beautiful face.
"Hai stop that."
"Stop what baby?"
"The smiling. It's weird."-she giggles. Her chubby cheeks making her look so adorable. She's gained a
beautiful amount of weight.
"So I'm weird now?"
"You've always been."-she says. Xander makes noise and I see her face light up. I knew my spotlight was
over. "Is that my son?"
"No."
"Xavier let me see my son."-she whines.

"This is not fair..."-I mumble. "...this is my airtime being used here but the only face they want to see is
that of my offspring."-I keep complaining turning the screen to the boy. He looks up and starts speaking
nonsense but Azania on the other hand is having a full blown out conversation with him. I can't deal. I
chuckle. Yes I'm jealous.
"Two more weeks baby."-I hear her say.
"I can't wait for you to be back."-me.
"Xavier."-her. I turn the screen back to me. "You really know how to kill the mood don't you?"
"What did I do now?"
"You interfered."
"The boy wasn't even answering you."
"That's what you think. Anyway you'll come and fetch me right?"
"Obviously. It's not like I'll have anything better to do."
She smiles. She honestly looks like she's absolutely in a better space.
"Good. I can't wait for these two weeks to just be over. This place is starting to become too much for
me."-She complains.
"This place has been quiet even your artwork is collecting dust."
"Don't make me think of that."-she chuckles and rolls her eyes before turning the screen to her belly. My
heart melts. Look at how big she is getting now. "Can you see?"
"Let me have my moment."-me.
"Ah."
"Has she kicked yet?"
"Nope. She hasn't but I've been getting...uh...how do I put this butterflies in my stomach. Does that
make sense?"-her.
"Yeah..."
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Chapter 52
I hang up and smile like a damn fool. I loved this man.
Truly.
He has loved me even from the time he found out I stripped for a living.
I place my hand on my tiny bump and sigh. I loved it here but I couldn't wait to get back to my son and
my man. I couldn't wait to finally be in my own space and get my hands knee deep in paint. I missed my
brushes and canvases. I missed resorting to that. I missed Xavier's cooking and his presence. I missed it
all.
The following moring I step into yoga class for our morning routines. These routines according to our
doctor was to help us relieve stress and focus on your inner peace. Peace I now felt I had. Peace I didn't
know I lacked.
"Breathe in..."-she spoke. I breathed out. The peace flowed all over me. I wasn't thinking of Victor
anymore and when he did happen to pop into my mind again I'd channel some positive energy helping
me feel better. I wouldn't think of the rape. I wouldn't think of my late mother. I wouldn't think of Dubai
or Tebogo. I wouldn't think of my abortions because they shouldn't be a part of my future anymore.
These were the words I was fed with by these amazing doctors.
I didn't even know I had so much anger in me until they proved to me that I did.
"...breathe out."
I find myself smiling again while we changed positions.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Diana's POV.
She barges into my tiny rented apartment and I'm up from my seat.
"What the hell woman! What is the meaning of this?"- I hide the pills behind my back backing up to my
kitchen counter placing them there.
This woman must be insane for coming all this way for something we could've solved over a text or a
call. "Where's Zach?"-I ask.
"You'd know that if you were home."-she says.

"Ohhh you'd know that if you were home... Are you hearing yourself?" I mock her.
"Diana show some respect. Im still your mother."
"Whatever. What do you want?"-I ask folding my arms in front of my chest.
" How long will you keep this up Diana? You're a mother but you act as if Zach isn't an important part of
your life."
"I wonder why you didn't just call me or whatnot."
"Because you don't listen Diana. Ive been calling and telling you important things about Zach but you
dont seem to care."
"I've been busy woman."-I state.
"With what? That boy who you keep talking about?"-her.
The disrespect!
"That 'boy' is Zachary's father."

"You aren't even sure about that Diana. "-she says.
I clench my teeth. That's not what I want to hear. She's insane. "Listen...go back to Jo'burg and I'll come
fetch Zach when it's time."
"Time? Time for what?"
"Just go."
"I'm not going anywhere Diana not without you."-she says.
Okay now she's really becoming an irritating factor and she was pissing me off by her forcing
demeanour. I look to my side and grab the knife near me grasping it in my hold. "Go."- I warn. She
shakes her head before she turns to leave.
I sigh out in frustration after she shuts the door. I place that knife back at it's place before talking the pill
container and heading to the sink. I throw them all in there and open the tap watching them dissolve.
I didn't need them. I was just fine without them. I get my phone and dial Xavier's number determined to
talk to him. It rings and he answers.
"Diana."
"Hey...I hope I'm not bothering you."- I say.
"Oh no. You're not. Just busy chilling with my son."- he says.
Patience Diana...patience...
"How is the little fella?"-I roll my eyes.
"He's an angel."
"An angel huh?"
"Very. He...oh he's falling asleep on my lap."- he says. I can feel him smiling already as he said this. I feel
like throwing up. He was supposed to be smilling like that with Zach. As a matter of fact if he took me -
us- seriously we would be together. Living in peace and love that we haven't explored because of the
other women in his life.
"How lovely."- I force myself to say. Honestly this was a scar within me. I knew that I had to probably tell
him and get it over and done with but I wanted it to be perfect when I told him.
"Right? But I'm bored now... So yeah."
"Want to do something?"
"Nah I should probably get some work done."- he says.
I sigh. " I should too. I'll see you later?"
"Cool."
I hang up and throw my phone aside in anger. He was pissing me off too. Everyone was pissing me off
including this predicament. I have less than two weeks to tell him.
---------------------------
It's a few days after my mother made a scene here at my apartment. We've been talking but by force.
For the sake of Zach. Speaking of Zach I got a call this morning from my mother dearest telling me that
Zach had fallen off a tree and injured himself. He broke an arm too and honestly I didn't know what to
do apart from getting a cab to work and get Xavier to come with me to Jo'burg. That was the only thing I
could think of.
I step into the premises my sight partially blinded by my tears.
"Is Xavier in?"-I asked the receptionist.
"Mr King is in... But he's ..."-she said but I didn't listen any further. I didn't even wait for her to give me
permission to go in there to him. The elevator takes forever. When it pings open I lunge out making my
way to his office. When I barge in he's not there. I look in his bathroom he's not in there which meant he
was at a meeting.
Perfect.
I make my way out of here and head to the meeting room. Indeed they were conversating in there when
I barged in. I spot him sitting at the far end of the room
Sehranmagzine.com
he's not in there which meant he was at a meeting.

Perfect.
I make my way out of here and head to the meeting room. Indeed they were conversating in there when
I barged in. I spot him sitting at the far end of the room looking at me in confusion.
"Can we help you Miss Lane? We're in the middle of a meeting."- Susan.
"Xavier...I need to talk to you...something terrible has happened."-I cry out. He frowns and I could tell he
wanted to know more.
"What?"-he half whispers.
"It's... It's your son."-I say and watch him shoot up from his chair. I don't like how my mind knew he
thought I was referring to the brat he made with that Azania thing and not our child.
"What?"-him.
"Mr King...you're excused."-Susan says. I look at her and she seemed concerned clearly understanding
the severity of this case. "I'll brief you when you're free."
"Thank you."- Xavier says grabbing his files and half runs to the exit. I follow him. I shut the door behind
me. He has his phone in his hold pressing it like a maniac. "Why wouldn't Thathi call me and tell me that
something happened to Logan?"-him.
"Woah...woah."-I run in front of him to try and stop him. I take his phone and he looks at me giving me
the angriest look I've ever seen. "What are you doing?"
"Listen..."
"Listen to what? You said something terrible happened to my son Diana and now you take my phone
away from me!"- he shouts at me.
Damn!
"I wa-..."
"Give me my phone back Diana!"
"Listen to me! I wasn't talking about your little brat!"-I shout back.
He can't think he's the only one who can shout.
"Diana-..."
"I'm talking about Zach."-I say.
I watch how his face changes from angry to downright confused.
"Wha-...why the hell would you drag me out of an important meeting for your son Diana...not that I'm
being insensitive or anything right now but honestly."-him.
"Don't you get what I'm trying to say Xavier!"-I snap. The mini audience gathering to watch what was
happening in the hallway increasing. "Zach is...is your son."-I finally say.
He steps back. "Very funny Diana. Very funny."
"I'm not joking Xavier."-me. He runs a hand through his hair before shaking his head. This is not the
reaction I was expecting but I'll take what I can get. "Xavier say something..."
"We...we did it once"-him. I grab his forearm pulling him into his office.
"Once is enough to make a baby Xavier."-me.
"We used a condom for heaven sakes."
"The same condom that broke."-me. I can't understand why we aren't halfway on our way to Jo'burg
already.
"It didn't..."
"Clearly you forgot then."
"Why would I forget such a thing?"
"This is not the time to be going back and forth about a stupid condom Xavier!"
"Why the hell are you telling me this now then Diana?! Why the hell are you telling me about my
supposed son all these years later huh?"- he yells.
Wow. "I wasn't ready."-I break down. The office goes quiet. I'd kill to know what he was thinking right
now and hear him say he understood why I waited so long before telling him. But instead I hear my
annoying phone ringing it's rear end. It's that mother of mine again.
"Mom?"
"I hope you are on your way here Zach has been crying for you ever since."-she says.
"Where are you guys now?"-me. I rub my neck.
"At home but serio-..."
"In ICU?! Mom why didn't you tell me that he was getting worse?"-I interrupted her sounding angry.
"What? That's no-..."
"I'm coming mom."-me. I hang up dramatically. I turn back to Xavier who has his eyes glued to me. "Look
Xavier I'm going now with or without you."
I pray he changes his mind soon. I turn to leave when I hear him speak.
"Wait...I'll go with you...just give me my phone back so that I can make a call."-he says. I smirk on the
inside giving him his phone back. He calls that Thathi girl and has her guard that brat of his for a few
extra hours claiming he'd pay her extra for that.
We're headed to Johannesburg and I'm seated comfortably in the passenger seat. On certain occasions
I'd sigh drastically to show a bit of emotion but other than that I'd smirk while looking outside. We
weren't talking though which I completely understood. He was taking all of this in.
"Look I'm sorry for the way I reacted back there."-he says.
"It's okay."
"No it's not. I should've tried to understand and instead I bombarded you with stupid questions."
"Xavier it's fine really. I dropped a bomb on you and you weren't ready."
"I...yes. I can't believe I've actually had a son all along."-he says. I smile my heart feeling at ease.
I wanted to ask what happened to Luke and Matt but hey I didn't care because right now I had him
eating right out of the palm of my hand.
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53
Chapter 53
Xavier's POV.
"So...Zach what kind of child is he?"-I ask. It's been too quiet in this car and honestly some conversation
would be very relaxing at this point. I didn't expect this. I didn't expect to be driving all the way to Joburg
again for something like this.
"He's a good boy. Not much of a troublesome kid you'll get to know him better once you meet him."-
Diana says.
I nod. My phone rings. It's Anné. I contemplate answering.
"Anné."-I answer anyway. I can feel Diana's eyes on me.
"Albie hey I didn't think you'd answer."-she breathes out.
"Nonsense. How are you? How's mom?"-I finally asked. I missed my mother.
"She's fine. I'm fine."-She says before heaving out a sigh. "Actually mom hasn't been at her best. Xavier
she misses her son."
"Is she around?"
"She's around. But she's asleep. Look I know she hasn't been the faires-..."
"Sis it's okay. I can pass by there today and see her how about that?"-Me. " I'm on my way to Jo'burg
anyway."
"Oh for what?"
"It's a long story. I'll explain when I get there."-I say.

" Thank you. Im sure mom would appreciate that...oh and Albie say hey to Azania for me if she's there
with you."
"That's another thing I'll have to explain to you..."
"What happened?"
I chuckle. "I'll explain everything relax...now can I get back to driving?"-me.
"Cool. Bye."-she hangs up.
"I thought this trip was specifically for Zach only."-she says under her breath.
"You haven't even told me what happened to him. Why is he in ICU?"-me.
"Oh...I actually got a text from my mother saying he's out...she just panicked for nothing. Can you
believe that?"-she says. I frown.
"I asked what happened."
"He fell."
"Fell? Fell from where?"
"A tree. He...broke his arm."-she says looking out of the window.
His arm huh.
We get to Jo'burg at around 16h40. She tells me to drive to her place since her mother told her they're
there. I was nervous the moment we parked outside and I switched off the engine. I looked at the
entrance and there stood Diana's mother. Her arms were folded in front of her chest.
"Let's go."-Diana climbs out. I follow suit. The woman isn't even smiling as she looked at the two of us. In
fact she looked sour. "Put a smile on your face mom we have a very important guest here."
"So you finally decided to come."-she says.
"Where's Zach?"-her.
"In his room."-Diana's mother says. I'm grabbed and we dash passed the woman. I feel like I'm already
being viewed as a disrespectful guy who has no morals whatsoever. I should've greeted and made
myself known to the woman but here I was galavanting past her like she was a wall.
"Zach! Zachery!"-she calls out before I hear a response from a small child. We reach an open door and
there sat the little guy with an armsling on and a tablet on his lap. "My boy!"
She lets me go and rushes to his side hugging and kissing his tiny red cheeks. "Mom...not on the
mouth!"-he laughs.
"Don't be ridiculous. How's your arm you had mommy panicking."
"It hurt but the doctor gave me a lolipop and said I get better."-the boy says. I've been stuck by the door
not really certain about my next move.
"What happened?"
"I slipped. I was climbing that tree outside an-..."
"Zach how many times did I tell you not to climb that tree?"-she asks. The poor boy looks down looking
all sorts of apologetic.
"I sorry mommy. I won't never do it again."-he says.
"Yeah you won't cause this will be a remin...you know what nevermind."-she gets up and closes the
open windows in this room.
The boy looks up. "Uh..."-me. "Hey."
"Hi."-him. "Who is you?"
"I-..."
"Boy it's 'who are you' not 'who is you' okay."-Diana. "And Zach..." She puts her hands on her hip turning
back to him after closing the windows in here. "...this is your daddy."
Oh wow. What comes after this? The tears? The awkward hugging or speeches you haven't had a chance
to rehearse. I never thought I'd find myself in such and honestly I just wanted to get out of here. How
would I tell Azania about a whole human. A whole grown human for that matter. I didn't know what to
do. A handshake would be inconsiderate right now and too formal.
What if this boy doesn't like me? His blue eyes stare at me.
"Him?"-he asks. I step forward. "Did he get me a toy?"

I chuckle while Diana giggled. I sat at the edge of the bed and smiled awkwardly. "I'm Zach."
"Nice to meet you Zach I'm Xavier."
---
18h00 hit and I excused myself to go to my mother's place. I'd pass by here again and pick Diana up
before heading back to Pretoria. As I drove I couldn't stop thinking of Zach. That boy was something
else. He was warming up my soul. I check on Thathi before reaching my parent's place. I park and head
to the front door. I knock and Anné is the one who opens for me.
Her excitement to see me has me flattered. "Oh wow don't kill the man."-I say before she lets me go.
"I missed you stupid. Come in."-she says and allows me in.
"You look...different."
"I dyed my hair."-she says.
Oh. I spot Olivia sitting on a mat while some guy did her toenails. Who the heck was he?
"Albie!"-Liv.
"Who's the new scum?"-me.
"You don't want to know."-Anné says next to me. "He's a parasite."
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Anyway where's Azania?"-Liv.
"Well she's at rehab."-me.
"As in a rehabilitation centre?"-my mother says. I look up seeing her waking down the stairs.
"Yeah... I'm sure you guys saw how she was when you last saw her. She wasn't fine. She had another
breakdown and this time I wasn't going to take chances."
"Oh...that's good. I'm glad she's getting help. I'm glad you're here too."-my mother says. I make my way
to her and give her one of the tightest and warmest hugs I've ever given to her. I felt like tearing up. I've
missed my mother terribly even if she made me pissed. She sniffs. Goodness.
"No tears please."-me.

"How do you expect me not to tear up when I thought I was never going to see you again nevermind
speak to you again."-she says.
"I'm here now."
I let her go. "Where's my grand baby?"-her.
"Oh left him with his nanny. I'm retuning today."
"That brings me to my next question why are you this side?"
"That's what I asked and he said it's a long story."-Suzanné.
" it's probably none of our business."-Liv.
"True."-the scum adds.
"Nonsense this is my son...I'm sure he can talk to me about anything."-my mother says before taking my
hand and pulls me upstairs after telling Anné to make me some pie.
Inside her room I'm told to sit down before she shuts the door behind her. "Talk."-her.
"Mom...it's not that important."-I shift uncomfortably noticing the complexity of this situation.
" Xavier...I may not have been on good terms with you for so long but I know my son. Speak."-she
crosses her arms in front of her chest.
"I...I dont know where to start."-I shake my head.
"Start from the beginning."-she says and comes to sit next to me. I take a deep breath.
"Well...there was a time where I was in a dark place in my marriage to Melissa. I didn't know on certain
days whether I was coming or going. A woman I loved hurt me twice. It felt like I had sacrificed so much
just to be lied to...I did a shitty thing at that dark moment with a friend."
"What friend?"-her.
"Diana."-I sigh.
"I don't remember her."-she says.

"You wouldn't. We used to work together...actually we still are. It's a situation. It was a moment of
weakness mom and-..."
"Weakness? What do you mean weakness?"
"We..."-I sigh. "... We slept together mom."
"What?"
"But it was once."
"Once! I hope it was with protection Xavier."-she says. I look down highly embarrassed by this
conversation.
"I thought-..."-I get cut off by her hitting the back of my head. "... Mom!"
"How could you be so irresponsible Xavier? That's not how I raised you."
"I know mom...I know."
"I hope you do but that doesn't answer the question of why you're here. Why are we talking about
Melissa and what's-her-name?"
"Because...because she got pregnant and-"

"Oh Heavenly Father of all things that are Holy! What are you telling me?"-her hands are covering her
mouth.
"She said he's mine."-I confess. I felt how so much weight left my body. With just knowing this for such a
short number of hours I didn't think it would trouble me this much. "I have another son."
She gets up and walks to the door comes back and goes back and forth before halting completely. "How
sure are you it's yours?"
I shrug. "I'm not sure."
"What do you mean you are not sure? Didn't you do a DNA test or something?"
"I literally found this out today mom."
"Does Azania know?"-her.
"She doesn't mom. Like I said
Sehranmagzine.com
comes back and goes back and forth before halting completely. "How sure are you it's yours?"
I shrug. "I'm not sure."
"What do you mean you are not sure? Didn't you do a DNA test or something?"
"I literally found this out today mom."
"Does Azania know?"-her.
"She doesn't mom. Like I said I didn't know about this son until a few hours ago."
"And you believe her enough to drive here leaving a son you know for sure is yours with a nanny."
"What was I supposed to do when she told me that he was in hospital and he's mine mom? Ignore her?"
She heaves a sigh. "No...but baby this is not alright. Why is she telling you this now? Why did she wait all
these years before telling you something like this?"
I have no idea. "I want to see this boy and right after that you're getting a bloody Test. You can't be
going around raising kids that aren't yours again. God forbid."-she says.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Azania's POV.
I wake up with a huge smile on my face. I'm happy. Today not only am I seeing my man and son again
but I'm leaving this funless place.
Yesterday I called Xavier and had him promise to come and fetch me at 11h00 sharp. I was too excited
that I packed three days prior. Yes this place helped me beyond anyting but it was time to go. Time I got
back into my own space and have my own peace of mind.
" I see you're ready to go."-said the receptionist as I signed the papers checking myself out. I've been
ready.
"It's time I leave and make the world know Azania is back."-me. I give her a small smile.
"I'm glad to hear that. You take care of yourself now okay."
"Always."-I say and pull my suitcases with me heading out. The fresh air hits me in all the right places.
I somehow felt like this is how it would feel like when a prisoner was released from jail.
I check my phone. It's 11h11 and no damn sigh of Xavier. I made this idiot of mine promise he'd be here
at 11h00 sharp but now 11 minutes have passed and no sign of his white self. I roll my eyes as I dialled
his numbers. It rings unanswered. I try again.
"Where the hell are you?"
"Baby...I'm so sorry. I'm in an urgent meeting right now...I'm sorry. I sent a cab for you."-he whispers
loud enough for me to hear him though.
"Xavier you pro-...you know what nevermind."-I hang up pissed. Honestly he could've let me know he
wasn't as excited about having me return home. I wait this wind not as nice and refreshing anymore.
I spot a cab coming on around. It's the cab that was coming to fetch my abandoned ass. I get in while he
attended to my bags. We leave. I text Athe letting him know I'm back and we should meet up hopefully
by tomorrow.
I arrive after a few minutes of driving. My heart is beating faster than anything. I drag my bags all the
way to the gate and ring myself in.
"Name and surname please."-A young girl speaks. I hear my baby make noise at the back.
"It's the owner of this house."
"Name and surname please."-she repeated. I liked her already but I hated having to state myself at my
place. I wish Xavier gave me a key.
"It's Azania oh my gosh."
"Azania who ma'am?"
"Girl! Azania soon to be King sheesh!"-I state and hear her giggle on the other end before the gate
buzzes and opens. I pull my heavy suitcases in. She steps out as the gate closed carrying my baby who
goes ballistic when he sees me. I doubted he would recognise me but here he is.
"My baby!"-that's me leaving these dumb bags running to my son. She gives him to me and I'm hugging
his tiny handsome self like I haven't done for the past 6 weeks. "Mama missed you..."-I blabber on
kissing his whole face.
"You must be Thathi."-me. She nods looking all nervous.
"Can I take your bags in?"
"I'd appreciate that."-me. I'm already walking into the house. I take in the cleanness of this whole place.
Im shook. This is the work of this Thathi girl?
We are definitely keeping this soul.
"Should I put them upstairs or...?"
"No no Xavier will take care of them. You just relax and look after my baby while I go freshen up."-me.
She nods and takes Logan from me.
I take a quick shower using my mans things since some of my things were still in my suitcase. I get
dressed in his sweats. Downstairs I find her cooking.
Yep we're definitely keeping her.
"What are you making?"-I try making conversation. Logan is in my hold again.
"Sir said I should make lasagna for tonight. I hope it's not a problem with you ma'am."
"Oh absolutely not. Xavier must've told you I can't cook."-me. I chuckle. This boy lays on my shoulder.
He's heavier.
"Sir may have hinted once or twice."-she titters.
"Don't be embarrassed. Relax I've made peace with a lot of things in my life especially with the fact that
I can't cook to save my self. I do know like one of two dishes but honestly... It's not for me."-I admit.
"Are...are the paintings in that room yours ma'am?"
"Yeah I want to check on those later. What time is Xavier getting here again?"-me.
"Usually at around 19h00."-her.
Sheesh.
I nod.
At 18h00 I allowed the girl to leave early since I was here already. She didn't have to leave later than
that honestly. I'm on my website checking all the orders I missed. The bad reviews I received because I
didn't notify them of my absence. I felt bad. It felt like I had taken two steps forward and ten steps back.
But I could still redeem myself. I update my site apologizing and took note of the three orders I received
recently. These are like my gold projects. I'll have to impress with these.
I hear his car park outside and feel how my heart just melts. I'm nervous. I might even start sweating.
The front door shoots open and in walks the love of my life who I've concluded I have forgiven for not
being able to fetch me. I'm running towards him before throwing myself at him. He lifts me up and hugs
me back by the waist. I'm drowning in love. I'm drowning in happiness.
"My Queen is back."-I hear him say putting me down again. "I missed you so damn much baby."
"Not as much as I did though."-I put my hands on his shoulder. He kisses my forehead allowing a smile to
melt away on my lips.
"Is that a smile I see there?"-him.
"Argh stop."-I find myself blushing.
"Smiling looks beautiful on you my baby."- he pecks my cheek this time.
"Thank you my love."-me.

Right then I remembered we were still standing by the entry and he probably wanted to go upstairs
refresh and eat. " How about you go upstair and freshen up and then come back here so we can eat and
catch up."-I say and his smile dissapears immediately. He clears his throat and gently removes my hands
from his shoulder.
"Didn't we catch up already?"-him.
"It's not the same over the phone baby."-me. He clears his throat again excuses himself and heads
upstairs. I'm left here wondering why the sudden weirdness when I just brush it off and go to the
kitchen to warm up the lasagna.
I dish up for the two of us and wait as he came downstairs. Refreshed. He's dressed in sweats too.
"So what do you want to update me on?"-I place a whole mouthful in my mouth.
"My mom and I...made peace."
"That's amazing news baby! When did this happen?"
"A little while back."-he says.

Sheesh!
"I didn't expect that from you I mean it seemed like you'd never forgive her and allow your mother back
into your life like that. "
"Family forgives. Family accepts the different mistakes that happen along the way and family should
accept your circumstances."-he says.
Mhnn.
I nod.
"That's true. You're my family and if that means I have to stick with you through everything...then I will. I
promise to never leave you."-me. I've done that so many times but never again. I'm never putting myself
through that again or my son and unborn girl.
He puts his hand over mine and rubs my knuckles.

"Even if I have 7 kids out there that just randomly show up belonging to me."-he cackles.
Sheesh!
I smile awkwardly. I guess that's what I had just said. "But luckily you don't have seven kids running
around here from seven random women so yeah. This is forever."-I chuckle and continue eating waiting
for him to continue right ahead with something else.
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54
Chapter 54
♡
That awkward dinner ends on a seemily lighter note. He had me laughing with the story of Liv and her
boyfriend all staying at Xavier's mother's place. We finished up washing the dishes and he headed on
upstairs while I went to check on my tiny studio.
Again so clean.
This girl is definitely not going anywhere.
I do some stocktaking checking how much paint I have left how many clean canvases there are and if I
needed new brushes. Luckily the only thing I seem to need is paint. I make a mental note to ask Xavier
for a ride to town if he's free tomorrow since I needed to show my clients I was serious. I meant
business. I close up and head upstairs to get some sleep in my very own bed.
As I walk in I spot Xavier busy with on his laptop or rather busy reading some papers. He closes his
laptop the paper's on the keyboard. A smile is what I receive next. "And then? I thought you'd be
sleeping by now."
"I was waiting for you."-he puts his laptop under his pillow and turns back to me.
"Lies."-I fold my arms in front of my chest.
"I'm serious come here."-him. I roll my eyes and make my way to him. "Sit."
"I don't want to sit."
"So you want me take you while you're standing?"-he bites on his bottom lip. He puts his hands on my
hips traveling up to my behind. These trackpants aren't even bringing forward any sexy vibes but I brush
that thought off.
"Wouldn't be a first."-me.
Carefully I straddle him putting my hands on his shoulders for extra balance. He's looking straight into
my eyes as he pulls off his sweatshirt. I do the same but only because it looked like this was going to
take forever and I wanted dick now. And as if he could hear my thoughts he comes at me. Attacking me
with a kiss which I welcome. A small moan escapes my mouth when he spanks my buttcheeks
simultaneously.
He suddenly flips us over pining me to the bed and breaks the kiss. I'm so breathless at that point it's not
even funny. "Not too rough okay."-I breathe out. We don't want 'disasters' here. He nods burying his
face between my boobs. He lets my pinned hands go and cups my ladies. I know I should be keeping my
hands there but the sensitivity has me wanting to push him away. I ran my fingers through his hair as he
suck hard between my ladies.
Then suddenly he stops looks at me takes my hands and pins them back above my head. "Keep them
there."-him. He's back at it. Sucking hard at certain parts of my body before propping himself up and
looks at me making me frown.
"What? Did I do something?"- I question.
"No I...I can't do this."-he gets up and sits next to me. I sit up too looking at him as he buried his head in
his hands.
Somehow it felt like he maybe didn't like my body anymore. Was that it? This baby was making me look
horrible already? I was going to ignore the fact that some of my jeans don't fit me anymore but here he
is making it so obvious that I genuinely am fat now. " It's not you it's me."-he says.
Never did I ever think I'd hear that from him.

"You're breaking up with me?"
"What? No? Where did you get that from?"-he asks me.
"No one uses that line unless you're breakin up with them Xavier."
"That's not what I'm saying baby I just don't feel it."
"Oh so you're not feeling me anymore?"
"Stop twisting my words Azania."
"But that's what you're saying."-me.
"No it's not okay..."-him. I'm beyond confused right now but other than that I'm cold. I pick the
sweatshirt up and put it back on again before this gets a bit more awkward. "...can we just cuddle?"
Cuddle?
After six weeks of mind tiring therapy and messed up discoveries this is what I home come to? A man
who heats me up but ends up only wanting to cuddle? This is probably thirst talking.
"Cuddle? I guess we can do that."
"Let me just go to the loo."-he smiles vaguely before kissing my cheek and gets up.
He's not telling me something.
Anyway I get up and start removing the pillows from the bed. The laptop...maybe there's something on
there. But...I'm not a snooper. No Azania. You aren't. I take the laptop and decide against my own
thoughts. But what if...
The papers fall on the floor. Crap. I quickly pick them up and attempt on putting them back inside when I
completely freeze with what I read. I don't even bother putting the papers back. I'm holding a paternity
test?
Why would Xavier do a test on Logan when he kn...wait. My eyes swim through the information written.
Zachery Albert Lane?

99.9℅?
Who the fuck is Zachery?
My heart is beating faster than anything right now and honestly I was...I look up as he came out of the
bathroom. I could see right through him now. This is what had him all up in his feels back at dinner...and
here right now he's hiding this from me?
"7 kids huh?"-me.
"Zania I can explain."-he says.
"Explain then."-me.
"Can you sit down?"

I roll my eyes sitting down on the bed. "Explain ke Xavier."
"I...have a son."
"Of course you have a son Xavier what do you think Logan is?"-me.
"I meant another one. I have another son."
"Are you kidding me?"
"I wish I was but you're holding the proof right there."
"So...you're telling me this is not some hoax? This is not some planned shit to have me on my toes?"
He keeps quiet. I know what I've just said was stupid and irrelevant but I wanted to say them
wholeheartedly to try and cover my hurt and confusion. How could Xavier do this to me?
"I didn't know about Zach until about a week and a few days ago."
"And when were you going to tell me about this?"-me.
"I was goi-..."
"When Xavier?!"-I half shout.

"I don't know okay! Now can we please not shout in here."-he says.
I click my tongue get up and throw the papers at him. A childish move I soon after regretted but I still
continued out all the way downstairs again. I don't even know what I'm doing here. I get some water
from the fridge and force it down my throat.
"Could you please just listen to me without fighting me Azania."
I'm not even fighting.
"I was going to tell you believe me...I just was still digesting this myself. You think I'd want to find out
that I'm fathering a child I didn't even know existed till a few days ago? No okay. I feel like I betrayed you
and this is not how I wanted to welcome back my fiancée."
"How old is this...son?"-I put my glass down.
"4."-he folds his arms in front of his chest still looking a bit worried.
"And...who's the mother?"-I finally ask.

It takes him a while before he gives me the answer I seeked. And I swear the name made me go cold.
That thing!
I know we weren't even together still looking a bit worried.
"And...who's the mother?"-I finally ask.
It takes him a while before he gives me the answer I seeked. And I swear the name made me go cold.
That thing!
I know we weren't even together but honestly it hurt. This is the same woman he had me believe that
he didn't sleep with the time I caught him with her in our bedroom. I think I'm starting to even doubt
that statement.
------------------------------
I wake up with the man wrapped around me like I'd escape in the middle of the night. I understood why
though but he needed to let me breathe.
I try getting out of his hold but I couldn't. He held me tighter. "Where are you going?"
"Keep asking a grown adult that and you'll have her pee on your bed."-I say chuckling at how quickly he
let me go. I got up and went to relieve myself.
I brushed my teeth before returning. I find him sittiing up. Logan is awake but he's just standing there
probably wondering how to get our attention next. "So what's next? Where to from here?"-I lean onto
the doorframe.
"I wish I knew."
"Just so we're a hundred percent sure you had the test done yourself...not the other way around
right?"-me.
"I did the test. I learned a very important lesson with Melissa."
"I also hope she taught you not to be friendly with other skanks Xavier. You having this child with her
won't make me tolerate you having a relationship with her of some sorts."-me.
"Of course...I just have to find another job then."
"Why?"
"She moved."
"You mean she works with you again?"-me.
"Yeah."
I throw my hands up. This is the first time I've seen such determination.
"I'm hungry."-I get Logan and we head on downstairs.
After eating I go shower so I could get to painting. I planned on asking Xavier to take me shopping for
tomorrow because I didn't feel like going out today anymore.
It's past 10h00 when I hear voices in my house. Odd. Athe didn't say anything about coming over or
anyone else for that matter. In fact he hasn't gotten back to me. I get up leaving my things at prep stage
when I go check who was here.
Sheesh.
Stab me. It's that woman with her son. She spots me before smiling obviously proud of her work.
"Oh look. Azania is back...how are you? Got rid of the crazies?"-her.
I chuckle. She's the crazy one here not me.
"Diana please."-Xavier.
"No let her. I can hold my own."-me.
"Hold your own where? Please bitch you know very well I'm better at this than you ever will be."
"You speak like that in front of your son?"-me.
"Maybe we should go check out your room."-Xavier suggests before the three head upstairs.
Room?
"In case you haven't heard Xavier and I have a son together."
"Congratulations on achieving absolutely nothing at all. I don't know if you haven't noticed Xavier the
man you're still chasing till today is still not interested in you."
"That's what you think."
"Think? You think he'd be with me if he wanted you?"-why the hell am I involving myself in this toxic
woman's petty fights?
"You're trapping him."
"With what? I've been gone for six whole weeks but he still wanted me back here. You on the other
hand..."
I can hear the boys coming down again. "Get help sis. What you're going through is not normal."-I say
before turning to the three that just went to explore a room.
"Are all his clothes in the bag?"-Xavier asks.
I frown.
Diana nods. "Everythings is in there."-she says sounding not as ratchet as she was sounding before.
"Thanks. I'll bring him back by Monday."-Xavier says.

Haibo. Thats in two days. Diana leaves and now I'm feeling betrayed again. Xavier should've told me he
was bringing his son here. I could've at least prepared myself mentally before meeting a whole human.
"So Zach...this is your other Mommy my wife Azania."-Xavier.
" Why isn't mommy your wife?"-the boy asks.
"Because...me and your mommy weren't..."-he trails off.
"Zachery... Just call me Azania. Okay."-me. Again him calling me 'mommy' would be a little awkward for
the boy
He nods. Xavier directs him to the television where he's allowed to watch cartoons with Logan. This boy
better not do anything creepy with my son I swear.
"Xavier come on now... Why didn't you tell me Zachery is being bought over here?"-me. I'm trying my
level best to keep it down.
" Cause I also didn't know. Diana literally sent me a text saying she's outside the gate here to drop the
boy off for a visit. I didn't know what else to do."-him.
I sigh. This is not how I envisioned being back here. I dealt with my old troubles and worries but new
ones seem to want their piece of Azania sanity.
"Let me take his bag upstairs"-Xavier says and goes to fetch the bag from the couch. I look at the boy
awkwardly not liking the striking resemblance he had with Xavier. But then again what am I to do. He's
here now. I can't just chase him away for something he did not do. I pick Logan up.
" So Zach...I can call you that right?"-me.
He nods.
"You hungry?"
He nods again.
"Are you nervous...or you just don't like talking?"-me.
"Mommy said I shouldn't talk a lot."
"Why?"
"My english bad."
I frown. Honestly this boy is four probably turning five this year and already he's being told to speak less
because his english is bad? For goodness sakes he's not even in grade one! I shake my head taking his
tiny hand and make our way to the kitchen area. I put Logan in his chair. "Your english is not bad. I want
you to talk to me okay."-I say after placing him on the counter.
He nods.
"Say it..."-I smile.
"Okay mommy."-him. Woah... Never mind.
"Good...now how about a sandwich?"
"Yes Please!"-he finally gives me a smile. That's a good sign right?

"You like Peanut butter and jelly?"
"Yes."-him.
I spot Xavier walking towards where we werewhen I look over Zach's shoulder.
"You know what...I actually can't make sandwiches."
"Aww..."-he sulks.
"Don't worry though...you know why?"-me.
"Why?"
I get closer to him and whisper into his ear. "Because your dad is a way better sandwich maker than I
am. He can teach you and I."-I smile.
"Yes!"-him. He nods. I point behind him and he turns to look. "Daddy please show us how to make
sandwich."
Xavier takes a while to answer but when he does it's with a smile. I don't know exactly if I'm the one he's
uncertain about or the boy but I think I'm going to have to deal with all of this positively cause at the
end of the day this is Xavier's blood and there's nothing I can do about that.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
55
Chapter 55
♡
The ways of the one above us are unknown. We may plan for what we may think would happen but the
truth is anything can happen from then and now. That means our plans should be adjustable. Damage
proof.
Another boy came into our life and since then things have changed here and there. Our lives had to
accommodate this four year old in every way possible.
Azania mama of one had to become mama to two beautiful boys. Loud and naughty boys too. You only
got a moment of peace when they were asleep but other than that nope. This other day I found them
playing with my paints. My walls were covered in them all. My reds my blacks my beiges.
A disaster! One I kept though because of it's somewhat beautiful artsy feel.
My baby bump is officially passed the eight month mark and...I'm scared as shit about giving birth again.
One I don't want to give birth on my own again and in a damn house because of my lack of information
like the last time. This time we have prepared properly. Two I want Xavier with me physically. I want to
be crushing his hand and yelling at his face for doing this to me again. Three there'll be less risks and
more hygiene. Bottom line is I don't want to end up giving birth here.
Sheesh.
Xavier comes out of the house with two hot chocolates -one in each hand- and joins me again by the fire
pit outside. He sits and hands me mine. "Thanks."-I snuggle closer to him. It's just the two of us here
right now. Logan went to visit his gran and Zach went back to his gran about a week ago. I won't lie and
say I didn't enjoy the peace but I did. Besides we should at least try enjoying that part of our lives before
baby girl comes and steals our peace.
"So any news on the sponsorship?"-Xavier asks.
"I got one not so long ago...unfortunately they can't help me."
"Again you should allow me to help you."
"No. I'm doing this myself."-I say and peck him on his cheek. This sponsorship thing is only to help with
more funds basically so I can buy this amazing space with this building on it that I found on the internet.
I wanted it so badly for my art gallery that would hopefully takeoff after my baby girl got here. I also
hoped no one bought it before I raised enough money to eventually buy it.
"Besides you should be worrying about the wedding expenses and not King's Art Pty Ltd."-I say and sip
my hot chocolate.
"King's Art? That's what you're naming your gallery?"-I can hear the excitement in his voice.
"Yeah...unless you want me to change it."

"Never. I just never expected you to name it that. "
"Well I'm glad you like it."-me.
I genuinely was. " you should've put more marshmallows in my hot beverage though."
"No pregnant lady. Those are just enough marshmallows."
"Uyabhora yaz."-I sip again. "But anyway I hope I get this sponsor.. Otherwise I'll be done for."
"Or..."
"Xavier no. I don't want your money."
"But baby I'm only going to be helping you there's nothing wrong with that."
"The only time I'd ever take your money is when It's a loan."
"Loan? I'd be loaning my wife money when I can just give it to her freely."
"We are not having this discussion Xae. We are not spending your money for my gallery and that's
final."-I say.
He finally nods and sits back covering me with his arm. We spend almost two hours out there just sitting
by the fire talking more about the wedding that was still ahead. We even ended up thinking of baby
names.
Ruth he said.
Billie he said.
Miracle he said.
Kimberly he said.
None of these spoke to me. Besides I wouldn't name my baby after someone in the Bible some male
goat or even after a shocking thing. I'm not even going to entertain the Kimberly name because the only
thing that comes in mind when I hear that name is her getting teased and being called Kimberly hole. No
offense.
I think I wanted to give my baby a black name atleast. I didn't get a chance to give Logan a 'black name'
and I think I want that for my baby girl. Actually I know I want to give her a black name and hopefully
that will be okay with Xavier.
---
"I didn't think you'd answer."- he says on the other end of the line.
"I wasn't going to."-curse my curiosity.
"Oh? Well thank you anyway for answering."
"Get to the point Nathi. Ufunani?"
"To talk...we're family right?"
"Unfortunately we are."-I say.
"Okay...look I'm inviting you to a get together...it's a family thing where every Dlomo gets together and
have fun as a family. I'm sure you'd love to meet the rest of the Dlomo family."-he says.
Family...family...family...
I sigh.
Sheesh.
"Thank you but no thank. I'll be very busy on whatever day that may be. So yeah."- I dismiss him.
"Come on Azania this will give us a chance to start on a clean slate...who knows maybe we'll vibe better
this time around."-he says.
"Nathi look...I'm finally at a place where I've made peace with my past and fucked up family revelations.
I don't want to disrupt that peace with people I barely know and people who'll be talking behind my
back probably wondering who I am and many other things. I don't need that in my life. I have a family of
my own."
"But-..."
"I'm serious Nathi. I don't want to be a Dlomo. I don't want to be associated with you."
"That's not how you do family Azania."

"Nathi you don't even know how old I am. Yes I was better off knowing my father as the man I knew and
not this other man I've never gotten to know. The same man who didn't try to raise me... I know you
mean well but I'd rather not."
He sighs.
"And if you're wondering about our past. I forgive you for wanting to sort of sleep with me. I forgive you
for having my friend killed with your drugs and then having her slaughtered and dumped in the middle
of nowhere. I forgive you for raping her. I forgive you for treating all those woman the way you did. Even
that girl...Mmasechaba."
"What do you know about Mmasechaba?"
"What am I supposed to know brother?"
And just like that the line goes dead. I frown put my phone away and continue working. I didn't have
more time to waste on things that wont get me anyway...or get me more money for this gallery. At
15h00 I take a little break to eat and go to the loo. I search for my man and find him outside
with...Hlelo?
What is he doing here?
How did he even know where we live?
I ignore them since its probably not any of my business honestly.
18h00 strikes and I decide to call it a night since I knew if I didn't stop now
Sehranmagzine.com
I would not stop until the wee hours. Plus I don't think my baby is having it anymore. She's been kicking
like it was a talent.
"What do you want to have for dinner?"- me. Not that there were options really but asking made me
feel like I could cook up a storm.
"Anything you want to make baby."
"Burgers it is then."-I get started. The mince wasn't cooperating. What the hell. Why won't it stick
together?
"Put an egg in it."-he says.
"How about you just do this instead huh?" I leave everything. He chuckles and comes to my aid while I
went to wash my hands.
While he continued swiftly with the patties like he was born to make them I managed to get onto one of
the highchairs. "So...Hlelo was here?"
"Yeah."
"Uhmm...what did he want?"
"He was here to discuss your brother but I told him you were busy."
"Nathi?"
"The one and only."
"What a coincidence He called me today."-I say ignoring the sudden creepy feeling I was getting right
now.
"What did he want?"
"He was just inviting me to a Dlomo family reunion thing...which I declined."-I say.
He briefly looks at me and then nods. "Well Hlelokuhle was here to ask if he can...take care of him
permanently."
"Who? Nathi?"- I'm shook.
"Yeah...and apparently you're the only one stopping that from happening."
"How when I'm all the way here?"
"He's your brother Azi your blood. Once he's dead there's no bringing him back."
"Notorious is not even close to being a brother to me...I dont even want to have a relationship with
him...like I said I declined the invite."
"He also wanted to see you...maybe tomorrow."
"Maybe."-me.
I thought my path with Hlelokuhle was over that time He dealt with Rendani and Victor. I thought wrong
it seems.
---------------------------------------------------
Two days have passed since that day Nathi called me and since then I have to admit he was really on my
mind almost everytime I tried not thinking and it.
My baby is coming back tomorrow and I'm stuck between being excited about seeing him again and
having to keep an eye on him and probably lose a few hours work time. Thathi called in sick for the
following two days. Disaster.
Xavier has gone to work leaving me all alone at the house to work. To complete this portrait to its fullest
potential. I was truly excited about this one.
A text message comes through on my phone. It's an unsaved number with contact details and a small
message from...Baba Zwane.
Oh my goodness!
"What the hell is this?"-I chuckle. Why is Baba Zwane contacting me I'm not a hoe anymore.
I quickly save his numbers before calling him. I honestly can't believe this.
"Diamond."-he says and I'm finished with silent laughter. "Are you laughing Diamond?"
"I'm sorry baba I just wasn't expecting you to remember me...or even think of texting me."
"Ah Diamond you and I are friends. Friends help each other out."
"Well I doubt I'd be of any help right now times have changed remember."
"I know that Diamond but that's not what I meant."
"What did you mean then Baba?"- I dip a brush in some paint.
"You're starting a business aren't you? I heard from a colleague of mine of your request for
sponsorship...and I might be able to help if you still haven't received one."
"What? Are you serious?"-I cant contain my excitement. I'm up on my feet almost ready to jump up and
down.
"As serious as a heart attack. Its for a good cause after all a young black woman going into
entrepreneurship is what everyone strives to see."
"I don't know how to thank you Baba Zwane."-my hand goes onto my forehead.
"Don't worry. Just make sure I'm not wasting my money here okay."
"Absolutely!"
"I'll have my people send you some paperwork that you can check and sign on how does that sound?"
"Perfect."-me.
The phone call ends with me feeling like I could take over the whole damn world. I was finally going to
be able to buy that beautiful place I had my eyes on. I hope Xavier takes this just as well as I have
honestly especially with everything going on.
---------------------------------
The days fly by and I'm drained from the extra hours I've been putting in on with my work love life Logan
and this pregnancy. My feet are swollen almost all the time and I think it's because of all the sitting I've
been doing lately.
I spoke to Nathi the same day Zwane called and Lord did I not want anything that soul anymore because
he really was bad news. I found out that that Mmasechaba girl had been missing for months now and
Nathi probably has a hand in her disappearance. This hurt because one I doubt this woman did anything
to hurt Nathi and two we don't know if she's dead or anything like that.
Needless to say the info I got was cryptic and probably useless in the eyes of anyone else. This left me
with no other choice but to contact Thandeka see what she knew about this Mmasechaba situation.
"Look who came crawling back."-she says the moment she answered. "Have you no shame Azania? You
badmouth the Dlomo's like that and still have the nerve to call one of their own."
"I see Nathi has already told you about me declining his offer."
"Nathi tells me everything...and you know what I'm happy you don't want to associate yourself with us.
Less acting and having to pretend all the time."-her.
"Look you don't know your brother like I do. If you did I doubt you'd be saying all the things you're
saying right now."
"What are you talking about?"
"When last did you see Mmasechaba?"-I ask.
"How do you know about her?"
"We met a couple of months ago talked business and now I'm just wondering where she is."-I lie.
She doesn't reply for the longest while to the point where I think that maybe she hung up. That's not the
case. "I don't know...the last I heard from her Nathi was taking her to Dubai...something like that for a
vacation but they broke up...entlek why am I telling you all of this?"-she says.
My body feels cold with all the assumptions I've just made in my head. She's dead. He killed her. I'm sure
of it. He probably did the same thing he did with Zama. Killed her and dumped her in the middle of
nowhere for her to rot like she wasn't human.
I hang up. Texting Hlelo everything I knew and my own assumptions. He can do whatever he wants with
this information as long as he doesn't involve me any further.
---
"Can we talk?"-that's me facing right ahead.
"Huh?"-Xavier. I look at him as he puts his phone away.
"Can we talk?"-I repeat.
"Sure...I mean obviously we can. What do you want to talk about?"
"Things..."
"Things like?"
I sigh.
"Like having my tubes tied."-I say my voice too low.
"What?!"-he sits up. "You want what tied!"
"I said can we talk not yell like we're an immature couple with no working braincells."
"You're right I'm sorry. Why do you want your tubes tied though? Isn't that like a permanent thing? "
"I don't have all the facts right now."
"Wait does this mean you don't want kids anymore?"-he asks.
"Honestly no...at least not in the next few coming years"
"Having your tubes tied though...maybe we can look at other options. Some that doesn't sound this
painful."
I find myself giggling. "So basically you want more kids?"
"How is that even a question Azi of course I want more kids...more irritating and loud mini Kings with
you."-he giggles.
"You're unbelievable."
"I'm serious...plus it looks like we'll be making beautiful babies. I mean look at Xander."
"Oh my gosh you're serious."
"Of course I am."

"Yoh awa goodnight."-me.
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
56
Chapter 56
The smell of fresh paint. New tiles. New light features. New beginnings. Xavier and I were officially
standing in what was soon going to be a complete vision of Kings Art and sheesh I couldn't contain any
of my excitement anymore.
The baba Zwane sponsorship?
I ended up not taking it. I received another one instead. One which came in way later and was quite less
than what Baba had offered...but it felt way better than taking money from a man I used to sleep with.
Plus I never got the heart to tell Xavier about the first offer. That alone proved to me how I should play
far away from Sipho Zwane.
The woman who sehranmagzine.com me however has got to be heaven sent. She asked me to inform
her about the opening of Kings Art and invite her to the event and I gladly assured her of an invite. An
art loving business woman is what I'd refer to her.
The grand opening was going to have to happen after I give birth though because by then I'll hopefully
have proper focus and not look as big as I do now.
My due date was just around the corner anyway and today was the last day of my gallivanting especially
with all the Braxton hicks I've been getting for the past few hours. They aren't painful they're just
uncomfortable which is why I haven't been panicking.
"You satisfied?"-Xavier asks.
I release my cheeks from the wrath of my teeth.
"I think so. It is looking good so far."-I decide to walk around.
He chuckles. I already know my waddle was the one making him laugh. He's been pointing it out since it
started and honestly I think I've mastered the art of ignoring the urge to slap him.
"I was thinking."-he clears his throat.
"We've been doing a lot of that these days."-me.
Just the other day he suggested we move our bedroom temporarily to the downstairs guest room for
the baby and I.
"This was good thinking trust me."
"I'm listening."
"How does having your own line of paints and brushes sound?"-I stop to give him a look.
"Damn...that sounds like money I don't have."
"Money you can make though."
"Money that may take a while to make"

"Money that will still come in eventually...do you see what I see."
"All I see is more working hours and less profit for me."
"It's still a good idea though no lie."
"And I agree...but...sheesh..." -now that was a kick of all kicks honestly. This lady has absolutely no chill.
Her kicks are vicious.
"You okay?"
"I'm fine just having another wrestling match with your daughter."
"Is she winning?"-he laughs at me placing his hands on my belly.
"Laugh all you want mister all this will stop soon."
"Aren't you excited about the sleepless nights."
Right... He's being sarcastic.
We wrap things up here before heading back home again. There we find Thathi and Logan busy building
with his building blocks spread all over the carpet. I'm not that sure what they were building though but
they surely looked occupied. Or was it Logan who was occupied? Either way they were busy. "Hey you
two."-I greet. Xavier does the same.
"Oh hey ma'am. Sir."-Thathi.
"Mama."-Logan. This boy of mine has grown.
"Can I prepare you guys something to eat for lunch?"-Thathi asks.
"I'm not that hungry but thank you."-I say before excusing myself and head upstairs to pee and take a
well deserved nap. Walking for two ain't that fun anymore also these hicks will have to calm down.
---
I must've slept through dinner too when I feel Xavier climb into bed. The lights are even off. "Did I wake
you?"
"Yeah."-me.
"Sorry."-he moves closer putting his cold hands on my waist.
"Ha.a Xavier!"-I exclaim removing his hands.

"I'm trying to get them warm."
"Are you kidding me?"
"They would've been warm by now if you just allowed me to warm them up."
"Xavier sleep."
"I'm not sleepy."
"Then why the hell are you in here?"
"Because I missed my woman I was alone downstairs since your son is no night owl."
I chuckle. This man of mine is stupid. "Give me your cold hand." He does. I place it on top of my bump.
"Talk to you daughter I'm going to sleep."
I can hear him sigh from behind me. I try closing me eyes after he doesn't say anything for a while but
the moment I do he starts speaking.
Oh gosh.
"Hey princess..."
Princess? Uh.
"...this is a serious conversation...beyond serious actually. One of many we're going to be having."-The
young lady kicks. "This means you're listening I hope. Anyway first and foremost get here already. Your
dad has been on a dry season If you know what I mean."
I chuckle. What the hell is going on here.
Why am I not sleeping?
"I also can't wait to see you my princess. Secondly stop kicking your mommy this hard...this is if you plan
on staying in there for longer. Basically what I'm saying is we are ready for you. Your brother is kind of
going into potty training season which means pretty soon your nappies are going to be the only ones
we're going to be changing. Plus we might be moving him out to his own room too were just fixing it up.
soon I want to hold you already smother your face with kisses. I want to protect you already..."-he says.
Sheesh.
As much as I didn't want more children to say the least this was something I loved. The fact that it won't
just be the three of us here. The fact that Xavier will be around with me to deal with baby stress. The
fact that he keeps on validating his love for me.
"You have two awesome brothers waiting for you too. I know they're going to love you just as much as
we are going to. I love you...and your sexy mommy."-he pecks my shoulder.
---
I wake up with the urge to go pee. I wonder what time it is and if there's any food downstairs left from
dinner. I'm hungry but first I'll handle these pressing matters and then go stuff my hungry ass. The walk
to the bathroom is an uncomfortable one. It felt like I was about to fall right there and then.
I know I said I had to pee but this is not what I meant. Two seconds of my life have just been wasted. I
get up to go wash my hands when I accidentally spill some water on the floor. Wait no I didn't. I peed
myself...no stupid your water just broke.
What?
Shit my water just broke! It takes a while for my brain to take that in. I don't know if I should freak out or
just remain calm since I'm not in any pain yet...
...Never mind.
I hold onto the sink taking in a contraction that sneaks up on me. "Crap!"-I curse and walk away from
this sink. Gosh the awkward walk gets even more awkward as I rush back to the bedroom to wake
Xavier.
I envy how peaceful he is right now when I have to suffer from his active soldiers.
"Xavier."-I whisper. Logan was still asleep...when is he moving out of our room again? He doesn't even
flinch. I try again and this time he turns only. "Haibo Xavier!"-I shout.
"What? Where?"-he sits up looking around. I felt bad for waking him up the way I did. Actually not.
"My water just broke."
"Huh? Broke as in..."
"As in call the doctor."-I say as calmly as I could hiding the fact that I wanted to kill him all over again.
"Are you sure about this? Are you sure it's your water that broke?"-him. I reach for the nearest pillow
and throw him with it. "Okay I'm calling."-he jumps out of bed and searches for his phone. I look at the
clock on the wall. It's around 05h30.
Another contraction. Dammit!
"How far apart are her contractions?"-I hear the doctor say on loudspeaker.
"Azi?"-Xavier.
I shake my head. I don't know. In all this I hear the woman say I should not rush to the hospital if my
contractions are not regular more frequent and not as intense. She's shitting me. Everyone is shitting
me. Xavier is shitting me and I'll smack that stupid look off his face.
By now I've established that these contractions were serious and were according to my doctor too far
apart for me to come in unless if I wanted to stay there until whenever this baby decided to come here.
He said me staying here will also speed up the process. "Can I run you a bubble bath?"-Xavier asks. I nod
bending over the bed.
I'm trying to remain as calm as I can.
I'm trying to keep my breathing in check.
I'm trying to ignore the fact that this was going to probably take forever.
"Babe..."-he gently rubs on my back. "...come."
He walks with me to the bathroom. The tub was filled with water and bath foam that smelled like roses.
It was helping me relax already making me wonder why I haven't been taking baths more often.
He helps me get in after undressing joining right behind me. I sit back closing my eyes as another
contraction takes me.
"You still okay?"-him.
I breathe out suddenly missing those Braxton hicks. I nod. He takes my hands brushing my knuckles with
his thumbs rhythmically. This was another calming effect. Every time a contraction came through I'd
crush his hands and hear him silently complain behind me. The peace and quiet...the scents...the
rubbing happening on my hands...
"How is she doing?"-an unfamiliar voice asks after Xavier answers the call. "I'm Doctor Woods by the
way. Doctor Hendricks asked me to call in and check up on his patient."
"She's..."-he looks at me "...still going through the most."
"And her contractions?"
"They're about eight minutes apart and they're pretty strong my hands can bear witness to that."-he
says.
The stupid doctor lightly laughs at this idiots' jokes before commenting. "That's good progress please at
any point if she feels like she can't handle the pain anymore she should be bought to the hospital
immediately."-Dr Woods says and soon after hangs up.
"How about you lie down?"
I nod. These contractions have me by the clitoris. He gets me one of my maternity dresses which I put
on. He forces six pillows into his hold three each side. He heads downstairs with them and comes back
shortly after. "Lets go."
I'm not about to question anything. The stairs are hectic. Why did I even like these stairs to begin with?
Once we're downstairs he helps me sit and lie down facing up... I'm not that comfortable with this one
and he notices. He helps me turn to my side putting a pillow under my head another under my butt two
between my legs and another behind my back. "You better now?"
"Yeah."-I breathe out. I see him smile weakly before dashing upstairs again while I'm left to relax. I rub
on my bump in a circular motion.
Xavier brings with him the ready packed hospital bag car keys our phones and a blanket. "Do you need
anything?"-he whispers crouching in front of me.
"Painkillers."-I breathe out. I don't even want to laugh at my statement but I half do.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"-I ask sitting up.
"For talking you into labour...look at you now."
This man honestly wants me to slap him. "Don't be stupid..."-I pause squeezing the pillow next to me.
How is this contraction worse than the previous one? "...oh God!"
"You okay...we can go to the hospital now if you want."
I shake my head. "Calmness Xavier...please rub my lower back..."
"Sure."-he says hurriedly. I lie back down again facing the other direction before feeling him rub my
back. Somehow it felt better.
Way...wayyyy better. Somewhere between the whole messaging that I've been getting from Xavier I
ended up in my starting position. Bended at the rest of the couch.
The hours tick by. Its 08h00 now and since Doctor Hendricks told me to say put I honestly don't know
what to do with myself. I'm walking around the house like a mad woman earphones in playing the only
thing that I could think of that would keep me grounded with this. Our song. Romeo. That Lucky Dube
one. I found it on his phone and have been listening to it since my walking started.
Logan woke up too not so long ago and now he's having breakfast that Xavier is making him. Thathi
comes in in a few meaning we won't be dragging Logan with us when the time comes.
The song ends with another mother of all contractions.
This one makes me shake in pain. I pull out an earphone and search for Xavier. I can't do this anymore. I
can't. "Xavier!"
"Baby?"-he jogs to where I am.
"The baby! Now!"
"Now? What about Logan?"
"Let's just take him with."-I complain. I told myself I wouldn't shout or cry throughout all of this but
these contractions are not allowing me. "Xavier now!"-I shout when I see him not moving. We'll have to
go with him wearing pyjamas and all.
"Come boy you'll eat in the car."
"Why?"-I hear them talk from a distance.
Breathe!
"Come baby."-he walks with me out the front door and then helps me into the car.
"Fuck."-I curse under my breath overcome with the urge to push. Xavier secures Logan in his seat next
to me. The bags are in the boot. Just as we were about to leave a cab stops by the gate. It's Thathi. We
don't even talk as she just takes Logan with her. He speeds off
Sehranmagzine.com
a cab stops by the gate. It's Thathi. We don't even talk as she just takes Logan with her. He speeds off
heading to the hospital.
Xavier notifies Dr Hendricks that we were well on our way to there and according to him they were
ready and just waiting for me. I think I zone out the only thing I'm focussing on is my breathing. I don't
want to hear the traffic. I don't want to hear the hooting of this car as it sped away. I don't want to push.
Shit!
Why am I pushing!
"Xavier hurry up!"
"What's going on back there?"-he asks but I don't answer. There's pressure on my pelvis. Immense
pressure. No there's definitely something there. I shift forward on my seat. That feels so much better
but now another problem is what uncomfortably rests in my pelvis. She's definitely there now.
The car halts and there's no time for chitchat. I open the door wide and get helped out by Xavier.
"Wait."-me. He looks at me in confusion.
"What?"-he sounds panicked.
Yes I was doing it. I was reaching between my legs to examine myself. In this parking lot. I look at Xavier
with nothing but horror. "Her head Xavier!"
His eyes went wide. With that said we were running. I fell a little behind on certain occasions during our
marathon only because I feared her slipping out. I'm offered a wheelchair which I decline. I don't think I
can sit anymore. My awkward waddle is at play again and at this point I didn't care about who was
watching me.
"Hi love...can I get your name?"-a nurse met us as she was headed somewhere.
"Hi my name is Azania and I can feel her in my pelvis."-I say. She looks at me and gives me the same look
Xavier gave me at the parking lot. She hides it soon after with a smile.
"We need doctor Hendricks."-Xavier.
"Oh follow me."-she says. I waddle behind her. Hendrick is indeed in there with another nurse. He looks
at me smiles before the nurse who led us in here tells him what I did.
"Is that so?"-he puts on a pair of gloves. "May I examine you?"-he asks before lifting my dress and with
some shock in his voice he says "yep she's definitely crowning. Looks like we're doing this now." -as he
said that I found myself unwillingly pushing again. "...also looks like we're doing this right here. Now
Azania I need you to give me a few good pushes okay. Can you do that for me?"
"Yes."-I say to quick. Xavier comes to stand in front of me he take both my hands into his and entwines
our fingers.
"You can squat a little if you feel comfortable."-doctor Hendricks says calmly. I do exactly that and push.
I take a few deep breaths looking at Xavier.
"You're doing great baby."-he whispered.
"Yeah?"-I ask before pushing again.
Dammit!
"Amazing now Mommy I need two big pushes can you do that for me?"
I nod still looking at Xavier. "She can."-he says and with that I push again. Xavier kisses my forehead.
"The head is out."-Hendricks.
"One more push baby...just one more...push."-and that's all it took before the room was filled with a
loud cry. All this pressure was gone.
"Congratulations mommy."-Hendricks said and passed me my baby up between my legs. I held her and
felt how I just loved her so much already. She was tiny slippery and loud...but she was mine. Ours.
Xavier is the one who cut my umbilical cord.
---
I wake up my head heavy and my body painful from everything I had just endured. After pushing out my
placenta I was beyond spent. I spot Xavier near the window. He stood there facing the window talking to
himself.
I attempt on shifting but my aching body disagreed. I ended up sighing causing Xavier to turn around
holding little Missy safely in his arms. He gives me one of his warm contagious smiles before coming
towards me.
"Look who's finally awake."-he says. He offers her to me and I gladly take her. She's wide awake.
Beautiful brown eyes looking back at me. She sucked gently on her fist. It felt like I haven't seen her
before. I can't stop myself taking her tiny perfect hand and kissing it. "She's perfect."
"She is."
"She looks just like you too."-he forces himself next to me.
Now that he mentions that she looks like a complete photocopy of me. Maybe its because of the eyes.
"I called my mother and Athe to let them know you had a safe delivery and boy were they excited about
the news."
"I'm sure your mother is already on her way here to see her."
"You know her too well."-he chuckles.
"How long have I been out?"
"About 6 hours."
"Are you serious?"-me.
"You needed the rest baby after all you've just gone through...in fact you deserve the whole universe for
what you just did. That was both one of the most intensely beautiful things I've ever see you do."-he
says. He kisses my forehead multiple times.
Yep. This whole labour process made me realise how easy I had it with Logan. I didn't go through twice
as much as I went through than with baby girl over here. "She awkwardly makes me want to make more
humans...but not now. Not until she turns ten at least."
"Or five."-he says.
Err...no...ten.
"Have you named her yet?"
"Nope. I don't want you complaining about the fact that I named her Albert Junior King."
"Not that name again."-I chuckle.

"See you would've strangled me by now if I named her myself."-him.
"Relax. I'm a changed woman."-says the woman who wanted to slap the living daylights out of him not
so long ago. "You have to name her though. I would love for you to." It's his right anyway.
"Well I've been thinking of the name Milan for a while now."
"Milan? Milan sounds beautiful. Milan Azazi King."
"You mean Azazi Milan King."-him.
"Does it change anything?"
"No but I like the sound of Azazi better."-he says. I don't know where the name Azazi even came from
but right at this moment I wanted her to have this name. I wanted her to know herself inside out. I'll
raise her to be a proud woman who won't be ashamed or bullied by the colour of her skin. Logan should
be that too. My babies.
Dr Hendricks came by later on to check on us. He checked my vitals and told me my body should feel a
little better by tomorrow. I hope so. I also got to breastfeed Zazi over here she took a while to latch on
unlike Logan but when she finally did she sucked like her life depended on it. With her eyes on mine it
felt like we were just looking into each other's souls speaking only a language we understood.
I told Xavier to go home and come back tomorrow. It was only fair that he went and got some rest. He
didn't think it was though and I slept with one eye open. My paranoia was on it's own level of worry. I
had Nathi on my mind. Anyone could just walk in here and take my baby.
-------------------------------------------
My man came to fetch the two of us the following day I couldn't stop myself from crying earlier. He
looked rested smelt amazing and was so excited to be around his two Queens he said. I managed to
shower too and bathe my baby since my body did feel way better than it did yesterday. I still looked like
a whale...that was still deflating. He grabs the bags and blanket while I had Zazi in my hold. We walked
out of here. I don't know how many times I thanked Dr Hendricks but I did.
We made a quick stop at Clicks for post birth pads. Xae also bought me some rather unhealthy snacks
and treats that I didn't ask for. The men we keep.
I pumped some more milk managing to fill the rest of the bottle. My supply didn't seem to come out
how I wanted and that just made me want to cry. What if she wasn't getting full because of this. I'm
probably starving her.
"Azi what wrong?"-he asks me parking on the side of the road. I cry even harder. He will hate me for not
being able to fully feed his baby. This is the ugliest cry I've ever given. I probably look horrid. "Azania."-I
look at him. He looks so confused. "Okay...please calm down you're going to wake Zazi up."
I ignore him and he actually allows me to finish my unfitting crying fest. Once I've calmed down I lay Zazi
on the empty seat space next to me and close the bottle with the milk before I accidentally spill it. I put
it in her diaper bag that rested by my feet. I place it on the other empty side and take my baby back into
my hold.
"Drive."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah...it's just these hormones."-I say.
---
"Congratulations."-I hear voices say the moment the front door opens. They weren't yelling lucky for
them otherwise I would've gone ballistic over them waking my baby. Pink balloons and cake. I spot a few
presents too before analysing who was here.
Xavier's mom.
Anné.
Liv...and behold she's with no loser boyfriend it looks.
Thathi and my little boy Logan.
I swear this was going to make me burst out in tears again. I don't need that right now. "Guys."-that's an
awkward me. Xavier should've warned me at least. I wasn't even in the mood for people. I just had
another human for heavens sakes.
"Can I see her?"-Anné. She's even on her way here already. I don't want to look mean so I do show her
our baby. She takes her. Oh gosh. "Don't worry we sanitized our hands."-she says and begins touching
her tiny cheeks. Xavier stands next to me. I give him a look.
"What did you guys name her?"-she asks. She shows Xavier's mom and Liv and their smiles are
immediately evident. Logan just looks a bit confused.
"Azania named her Azazi or in short Zazi. I named her Milan."
"I like Milan."-Anné.
Who cares?
I take Zazi's diaper bag and the clicks plastic and excuse myself to go to the bathroom to change my pad.
I find it clean in here.
Logan is in here when I head back to the bedroom. "Hey my boy."-me.
"Mama sleep."-he rubs his eyes.
Sheesh.
"Okay come."-I sit on the edge of the bed and pat on the bed. "Shoes off."
He does exactly that and climbs on. He lays his little head on the pillow and I decide to join him. He's
looking very sleepy at this point too.
I wonder what the hell they're saying right now down there.
I run my hand through Logan's hair. So silky and a bush to behold. I love his hair like this.
---
I sit up. I'm alone. Oh gosh I fell asleep.

Downstairs there are still this balloons and gifts but no people.
Logan is watching his cartoon show. So that's where he retreated to.
"Hey baby...I'm making dinner you want some?"-Xavier asks me as I still made my way to the kitchen.
"Where is everyone?"
"They left. Went to a hotel."-he says.
"Because of me?"
"No because I asked them to leave. I kinda sensed that you weren't up for guests and stuff so they had
to go. That was a flop on my side."
"Now they probably hate me."
"Nonsense. Don't think like that."-he says.
A cry interrupts us. I'm still not used to her beautiful cry. I get her from the crib Xavier set up down here.
She's so beautiful. So tiny. I settle on a highchair and breastfeed her. I hope I have enough.
"She didn't bother you I hope?"-I say watching her feed like a beast.
"You're saying it like she's not supposed to."-he chuckles.
"I didn't mean to fall asleep."-me.
Logan comes to join us here. He rests his hands on my thighs peeking at the foreigner in my hold.
"I didn't mind taking care of her Azania. She had milk fresh diapers and me. She is my responsibility too."
I sigh. I should stop fussing about this.
"When did Logan get up?"
"About ten minutes ago."-Xavier says. Oh. I look at him.

Yes boy this is the person who'll be annoying you as well soon.
"Who di (this)?"
"This?"-I point at Zazi. He nods after a while. "This is your baby sister."
"Baby Sistwa (Sister)?"
I nod. He seemingly frowns making me wonder if he understood me or if he is just repeating my last

words. "Her name is Azazi. Can you say that for mama?"
He looks at me. I chuckle. "Say Zazi."
"Zazi."-he laughs and hides behind his sister acting all shy with his blossoming red cheeks.
"Come back here boy."-I laugh too. He reappears repeating the name again. "Good boy."
"Do you want to hold her?"-me. I playfully attempt on handing her over to him but he backs away. He
knows what I mean. You would think his inquisitive mind would want to do this but clearly not Logan. He
shakes his head. Wow.
"No."
Zimu.
This is the same boy who threw me a 'no' when I tried packing away his toy truck the other day.
"No?"-me. I hear Xavier laughing as he carried on by the stove. "Okay...come touch her then."-I suggest
motioning for him to come closer again. He does. This boy! "Touch her here."-I gently touch on Zazi's
exposed hand.
"Here?"-he asks pointing there too. I nod. He gently touches her feeling her tiny hand.
"See she doesn't bite."-me.
"Soft."
"Soft?"-I eye Xavier who comes to witness this even closer.
"Soft. Soft like fweda"

"Her hand is soft like a feather?"
He nods. "Yes. I soft."
"Yes Logan you're soft too."
"Dada soft too."
"No Dada is not soft."-me.
"Heyyy."-Xavier exclaimed sounding a bit offended causing Logan to laugh.
"Mama soft."
Absolutely. "Yes mama is soft."-I chuckle.
He continues touching her hand like that until Zazi over here decided to fart. My word! Logan's reaction
to that was priceless.
I loved my son and I just hated how soon Zazi happened. Trust me I don't regret keeping her or any of
that and if the moment presented itself again I would take it with open arms and do it all over again. No
questions asked. But... I hated how I felt like he would think I love him less because of Zazi. I wish I had
more free time with him. More growth. More everything...surely this is a normal feeling?
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
57
Semi Finale.
Chapter 57
I just managed to put Zazi down for her nap after a whole struggle with her being an overly adorable
crybaby. She looked comfortable as I admired her sleep peacefully before sighing heavily. I sit down and
look at the time on my phone. It's 10h09 almost an hour since Xavier left for work. I would be lying if I
said I didn't miss him being here. These ten days were easier with him around to help or in his words 'to
do what he's supposed to do'.
Gently I close the door of our temporary room which is downstairs and head to the kitchen to assemble
a decent breakfast. I spot Thathi sitting with Logan by the sitting room watching his favourite cartoons.
Although I'm not really sure if this is something I can be set on because he's only 2 years old and things
change. I greet Thathi and grab some cereal and fresh milk.
"Cereal?"-she asks walking towards the kitchen.
"Yes cereal."
"But you're breastfeeding."-she says. I awkwardly gaze at her. I've eaten cereal before I've breastfed
before surely this is not something out of the ordinary.
"I know."
"I can make you some oats. It has way more benefits than that."-she points at the box of chocolate
cereal.
"I don't want something heavy."-I shrug. I already feel heavy and bloated and oats would certainly make
that worse.
"Then have muesli... With some yoghurt."
"Did Xavier put you up to this?"
"Sir did not."-she lightly shakes her head. I sigh closing the box and put it back where I found it. She
seemingly smiles and gets me the muesli and yoghurt from the fridge. I barely even know where this
even came from.
After eating over a brief quarrel of who the best Disney character was on this cartoon show I head back
to the room where I find Zazi still sound asleep. I check if she's comfortable before deciding to go take a
quick shower. She wakes up right as I step out of the shower crying. I get her from the crib and hush her.
Gosh I'm not even properly dried and now I have to get to the feeding business. She sucks hungrily when
she finally gets her mouth on my nipple. Logan bursts through the doors before I quickly indicate for him
to be quiet.
He comes to my side and sits next to me. I smile leaning closer to be able to kiss his forehead.
"You okay?"-I ask.
He nods slowly...I knew he wanted to say something but I'm not so sure what it would be this time
around.
"Zadzi. (Zazi)"-he puts a finger in his mouth.
"Don't eat your fingers honey."
He pouts. "Why?"
"Are they clean?"-I ask.
"Yes."
"No they aren't. Germs."-I change my tone. He couldn't be eating or sucking on dirty fingers.
"Wash?"
"Yes my boy."-I encouraged. He got up and ran to the bathroom to wash his hands. A few minutes of
feeding time go by and I burp my baby before placing her in the middle of the bed so that I could
continue with putting on some lotion and some clothes.
Logan returned with his clean hands. He was so proud of completing this measly task though to the
point that he mentioned it to Zazi. These two. "No poking."-I stated as I found a pair of clean sweatpants
and a vest to wear.
I didn't want anyone poking anyone here.
They -or rather Logan- continued off telling her a half broken story. I grabbed my phone and called Athe
not knowing whether he was busy or not but he picked up.
"Mfazi ka Vanilla."-he says causing me to chuckle.
"That's fresh how are you?"-I ask. I haven't seen him since forever...and he's only seen my baby via a
picture. He went ballistic.
"I'm good my friend I hope you are too especially with being a mommy times two."
"I'm getting there...I'm sure I've told you already that She's a sassy baby. Almost the opposite of Logan."
"Children won't be the same."-he says. I check on the two. Logan is still talking. Sheesh.
"I guess...anyway remember you said the other day that you know of this person who is amazing at
designing and whatnot?"
"Yeah uBunhle...you want her numbers?"
"Yes. But I think I want her to make me a few samples first before... Before well everything else."
"Oh I'm sure she can do that for you. She's good my friend trust me."-Athe says.
"I hope so. I don't want to find myself searching last minute for such things."-I mention.
We talk further about a few other things. Them considering adoption and many other things before we
end the call.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I scratch out the last name on the RSVP list and sigh before going through them all again. I'm interrupted
by a ridiculously long yawn which leads me to rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
Xavier turns earning my slight attention. He slowly opens his eyes meeting with mine. He frowns. "You
didn't sleep did you?"-he asks his voice was still hoarse and evident of sleep.
"I did."
"What time?"-he sits up.
I have no idea but to avoid any further questioning I think of a time. "Around 01h00."
"Look at me."-he says. I look back at him. He squints his eyes a little and shakes his head. "Why are you
lying?"
"I'm not."
"Mhnnn..."-he climbs out of bed and stretches. After he reaches for the paper in my hold and quickly
snatches it from me. "Sleep."
"What?"
"Sleep Azania."
"But I have so many things to check before tonight."
"You mean you have to sleep before tonight right?"- he gives me a stern look. "I don't want my wife
passing out during all of this because of the lack of sleep okay. Now I'll check the rest of this list for you if
I have to but you are getting some sleep right now."
"Xavier I'm no kid. I won't pass out or whatever."
"I'm not fighting you. Sleep."-he reprimanded me. He even looked a tad angrier if not irritated.
In case this man hasn't noticed today is the official day of my Art gallery opening. I have no time to be
slacking around. I have to che-...
"Azania I said sleep."-him.
He's serious. I roll my eyes before throwing myself on my pillow. I have to get rested then whether I
liked it or not. Maybe just two powerful hours of napping will do me good. My eyes already feel heavier.
"Good. I love you."-he says moments before I completely dose off.

I'm smacked on my face throwing my eyes open. Logan. A widely smiling Logan. The disrespect! I rub my
eyes.
"Dada says wakey-wakey."-he says.
Did he have to use violence though I mean a few gentle kisses on the cheek would've done wonders. I
quickly sit up remembering that it was still today. Shit. I shoot out of bed and practically run out of our
bedroom and down the stairs. Absolute bad parenting example if Logan is looking. He should never
under any circumstance run down these stairs.
Where's my idiotic soulmate?!
He's on the phone giving orders holding Zazi.
He turns and gives me a smile. Zazi sees me and immediately starts crying. Zimu!
I walk forward to get her from Xavier. She makes a smacking sound with her mouth one she used to
indicate hunger.
I go sit on the arm of the couch before feeding Zazi. I'm still listening to Xavier patiently waiting for him
to finish. Logan comes to me.
"Like I said my wife and I expect nothing but the best when we get there. You're representing yourselves
too not to forget. You fuck up we'll let the people know."-he says.
"Xavier!"-I call out shocked.
"Bye."-he hangs up.
"What?"
"You can't just say that to people."-I say. He shakes his head.
"You sleep well?"-he asks picking Logan up.
"How many of my other people did you shout at?"
"Everybody."-he says and pecks my forehead.

"No."-Logan.
"Haibo."-me.
"No kiss my mommy."-he says.
"But Your mommy is my wife."-Xavier says chuckling.
"No."
"No?"-We ask simultaneously laughing off this boy's statement.
"No kissing my mommy."-he says again shaking his head.
I can't with this boy. The intercom goes on and Xavier goes to attend it. I get up too still feeding mini me
over here to go check what time it was.
"Babe it's our clothes."-I hear Xavier say. It's 14h08. Damn! I was really out.
"I'm coming."-I say and grab a nearby throw. At the door I sign off the packages. They bring them in with
a little gift bag from our designer. Chocolates...which Logan starts crying for.
"Boy stop it."
"I want."-he complains.
"No you'll get them after you bath."
"No."
"Logan!"-Xavier.
The boy keeps quiet. I don't want to interfere besides I know Xavier wouldn't lay a hand on him. That's
his law. "Maybe we should get to the bathing part."-I interfere after realising that we were probably
going to waste more time here. We needed to leave. I had to make sure that everything was set indeed
by my man.
After bathing my baby girl and myself I get her dressed in her adorable pink dress and tiny white shoes.
That was going to match with the dress I was going to have on...but first I have to get her fed and rested
if possible so we could get more time to do a few things around here. But she won't sleep. She's wide
awake. I give her a few toys to distract her with while I started beating my face to utter perfection.
I admired myself...happy with the fact that my nose went back to its normal size my double chin and
most of my belly fat too. The only thing that hasn't gone down these past eight months are my ladies.
The decision to breastfeed for this long...gosh.
"You look beautiful."-Xavier says walking in half naked with a half naked Logan.
"Why are you two not dressed yet?"
"No clothes."-Logan says excitedly.
Xavier chuckles. "I actually wanted to come here first to check if you two were fine clearly you are."
"Go get dressed please."
"Okay let's go boy."-Xavier says and I watch him lift Logan in one swift move laying him on his shoulder.
I finish doing my makeup and immediately get dressed. Just as I was zipping up my dress miss Zazi starts
crying. Oh wow. Xavier comes back in all suited up and ready for action. He looked handsome but I was
not going to tell him that.
"Princess."-she cries hander. "What happened?"
"I don't know."-I answer fixing my weave.
"Probably saw no one giving her the attention she wants."-Xavier says and leaves with a crying Zazi who
I hear stops her crying after a while.
Xavier said I look beautiful. So it surely is true. I grab my clutch bag and check myself in the mirror once
more before stepping out. My list is downstairs with Xavier. I hear my son utter a wow before I fully
reach the downstairs area. He looks so adorable in his little suit and bowtie. His unruly hair was combed
and made perfect sense with what he was wearing. "Dada come see mama!"-he exclaims running off to
where Xavier was holding a sleeping Zazi. Our eyes lock and he immediately smiles. I can't help myself
but return it cause he looked the part too. He looked amazing. I know I picked the suit he's wearing but
now that it's on him he's an absolutely different man.
"Did I tell you already?"
"Tell me what?"
"That you're beautiful."
"You do that almost everyday...so yes."-I state as he walked to where I stood for a few seconds.
We leave after gathering the last few thing we needed for when we finally got to where we were
headed. Thathi finally arrived too before we left and boy was I glad because taking those two energetic
souls with us would've been mediocre. We had them dressed just in case she really ended up not
showing.
The nerves started kicking in the closer we drove to my gallery. I started wondering what I'd do if
something wasn't up to standard. What would I do if they weren't even close to being done with
everything?
I shouldn't have slept honestly!
"Everything will be fine."-Xavier says and reaches for my hand. "Wow you're even sweating."
"Do you blame me Xavier how should I know that everything is fine there?"
"Trust in your man a little please."
"I trust you believe me it's them who I don't trust as much because who knows what they're getting
themselves up to."-I say and sigh.
"If they don't deliver to your satisfaction than you report them. Simple. Now stop fussing and worrying
okay?"-him.
I nod and check myself on the mirror to see if my makeup was still intact and still looked 'bomb'. The car
comes to a halt in where the parking was allocated. Already I'm at it; checking to see if I was impressed
by the outside. Hectic.
I step out. The sign is on. King's Art Gallery.

I feel my cheeks heating up as Xavier snakes his hand around my waist.
"I'm so excited for you baby."-he says. His excited voice causing me to look up at him. When he looks
down at me I can't help but be thankful for having him by my side right now. "Lets go in I want to grab
myself a hors d'oeuvres."
We make out way to the entrance. Okay. It's 17h38.
Literally minutes away from opening time. Oh God.
It's beautiful in here!
The drinks table is set as well as the hors d'oeuvres table. The waiters are dressed and are fixing the last
bit of the things they need. I spot the two photographers I had organised chilling in the corner. I hope
they deliver. It's clean and it smells delicious.
I check out my paintings on the wall after Xavier put them on for me and the place finally felt complete.
Athe arrives at 17h49. We share a hug before she hands me a gift. I wasn't expecting one but I took it
with open arms.
"Open it."-he encourages. I quickly glance between the two of them before opening the gift bag. Inside I
find a huge pair of scissors and a red something. "It's a ribbon...for you to cut when it's time."-he says. I
can't seem to find words for this gift. I appreciated this beyond anything. I hug the life out of him before
we check on the time.
People were already starting to pile up outside. The VIPs of them all. Everyone is dressed the part and
everyone is holding a welcome drink. The waiters and waiting on my guests with decadent finger foods.
Athe and Xavier take a hold of the ribbon as they held it by the entrance. It was getting dark by now but
we had lights. Beautiful lights.
I grab a drink and a teaspoon and gently tap on the side of the glass grabbing almost everyone's
attention. They turn to look at me and I feel how the attention makes me want to run away. I take in a
deep breath and paste a smile on my face.
"I...I greet you all and thank you for actually showing up here at this tiny function of mine. It honestly
wouldn't be what I call a success without you here."- I hear a few whispered laughs and some nods.
"Today marks a beautiful night where I take big steps into the business world. I welcome you to Kings
Art Gallery. A place where fine art lovers can escape and feel safe and one with my works. All this is for
you...and it wouldn't be what it is if I didn't get support from a lot of people around me. My sponsor..."-I
look at her in appreciation.
"...My best friend Athe and the only man allowed to flirt with me 24/7 my loving fiancé...yes these two
behind me."
"Haibo."-Athe chuckles behind me.
"I don't want to spoil the evening by talking too much when the art should speak for itself...without
further ado."-I'm handed the huge scissor that Athe got me before cutting the ribbon. There's clapping
and cheering and I let out a huge sigh of relief.
The night continues swiftly as more drinks come in to play. I'm rubbing shoulders with people who have
more money than I do and I'm even surprised that Nqoba and his whole ring of friends showed up.
---
We get home at around midnight. I'm tired and my feet were killing me. The lights are off so everyone
was definitely sleeping. Xavier went to wake Thathi to take her home. I go check up on my babies.
They're sound asleep. I kiss each one on the forehead before making my way out of their room again to
go take a well deserved shower that will hopefully relax my tense body to the max.
After removing the makeup on my face I step into the shower. I think I stay in there for almost an hour
before stepping out. I felt ten times better than before. Xavier is still not back when I get back into the
bedroom. But just as I was about to change into my pajamas in he walks with the biggest yawn on his
face. So adorable.
"I am so tired."-he complains removing his suit. I'm quickly by his side taking it from him throwing it over
my shoulder before helping him with his bowtie. His eyes are on me as I start unbuttoning his shirt. "You
did so well today. I'm proud of you."
"Well let's not get ahead of ourselves now...it was just day one."
"Day one and already you sold out everything."-he grabs me by my waist.
"Still...but I couldn't have done it without you."
"Of course you couldn't have done that without me I'm your pillar baby."
I chuckle.
"Yes that you are..."-I roll my eyes. "...but I'm serious here. I couldn't have done this without you and
your support."
"It's a pleasure baby."
I feel my way into his shirt my fingers gently gliding over his torso exposing more flesh as I went down.
Our eyes were glued together. He pulls me closer clearly getting the hint. I put my hands on his
shoulders before pulling him in for a kiss. He lets me go taking off his shirt within a second. I hear him
undo his belt before I find myself helping him pull the down. We break the kiss. Both breathing heavily
as he practically jumped out of his shoes and pants. I peal and toss the towel somewhere before he lifts
me up in one go. I wrap my legs around him as he makes his to...to a wall? My back hits the cold causing
me to arch it pressing myself more onto him.
"Steady."-he murmurs against my lips right after he grabbed and spanked one of my buttocks.
"Gentle."-I utter back feeling him rub himself on my clit. I wanted him yes but I wasn't so sure on how
this was going to pan out like. Will I even feel the same for him again.
"Baby."-him.
I find my eyes looking back at him.
"Yeah?"-I reply. It comes out as a whisper.
"You sure you're ready?"-he asks.
I nod.
"Say it."
"Xavier I want this."-I reply cupping his face and pulling him in for a peck. "Just don't drop me."-me.
He chuckles before I feel him enter me. My eyes are shut as a slight pain and discomfort makes itself
known. A moan escapes my mouth as I feel him hit further.
Sheesh.
"You okay?"-he asks me.
"Just in a little pain."-nothing I can't handle really.
"We can stop if you want to."
"Don't be ridiculous Xavier just sex me."-I rotate my hips encouraging him ever so slightly. He sighs and
hold me tight before he walks off. I'm placed on the bed. My legs are spread and...
SEHRANMAGZINE.COM
58
Finale.
Chapter 58
♡
♡
♡
"I dreamt of her again."
"Dreamt of who?"-he asks looking up from his laptop screen.
"Zama."-I speak adding the last stroke of paint on my painting. She was almost complete but I
could already see her in her finished state.
"Oh...I hope it was a good dream."-he says before shutting his laptop and placing it on the little
coffee table he bought to be placed in my still tiny studio. He bought it for days like these when
he'd be working from home and wanted my boring company. He gets up from his single couch
and comes to kneel right next to me.
"It was."
"Oh. I'm glad."-he says. He must think I'm going crazy with all this Zama talk but I wasn't. I've
had her appear in my dreams for the past 3 days and in all of them she keeps saying the same
thing I wanted to tell Xavier for a while now. I look down to find him busy mixing two paint
colors on my pallette.
"Xavier what are you doing?"-I close the two opened containers after taking them from him.
"I'm making a new color for you babe...look at it."-he shows me a sample of it on his index
finger. I heave out a sigh shaking me head.
"You're wasting expensive paint."
"Azi how am I wasting paint when you own it and have a whole factory that can make you this
light maroon-red-blue-yellow thing I've just mixed here."-him.
I chuckle. "Just because I own it doesn't mean I should waste it."-I say and add a few details on
my painting's face.
"You have to admit though I made a bomb color."-him.
"It just looks like a weird black nje."-I mock. It did look like black though.
"Still bomb."-he says pecks my cheek before getting up groaning. I look up at him as he rubbed
his knees. "How the hell do you stay on your knees that long?"
"It's called dedication."
"It's called painful."-he says and closes the door behind him after I had a good chuckle.
I think I stay in my studio for a few more productive hours before stepping out to go make
myself a sandwich. I find Xavier making something for lunch already and I glance up to the
clock on the wall. Oh my babies will be home soon. This means I'll be left alone for a few
minutes while he goes to fetch them from school.
"What are you making?"-I ask glancing properly on the counter.
"Nothing serious just a peanut butter and jam sandwich...you know your kids."-he says.
"Make me one please."
"I'll make plenty."-he utters giving me a big smile.
I get myself onto a highchair and watch him handle the bread gently. He takes one sandwich cuts
off the crusts and places it with the others. That one definitely belonged to Azazi.
"Anything you want from the stores?"-he asked as he rinsed his hands.
"A quickie."-I chuckle.
He turns to face me. "They don't sell quickies at Woolworths."
"Well that's a pity."
Xavier makes his way to me before spinning me around in my chair. He doesn't say anything and
just places his lips on my neck. He nibbles and sucks gently while unbuttoning the buttons of my
shirt...
I mean His.
He kissed his way to my belly button with his wet kisses. He lifts me up from the chair and I
wrap my legs around him. He goes onto his knees and puts me down on the floor. It's cold but
nothing I can't handle. Without wasting a breath he pulls my shorts down and slides my panties
to the side. His lips making contact with mine while his fingers found my opening. He enters a
finger in me...and then another...gently sliding in and out.
We broke the kiss and he moved right to my neck. Sucking nibbling keeping his pace. He sucks
on my nipple. The other one too. His kisses lead down to my bellybutton. From there he just
dives into my girl. He kisses my clit sending shivers down my spine. I prop myself up my hand
rests on the back of his hand.
His tongue swims across my folds. His fingers go faster. My hand keeps putting him in place as I
take in this stimulation.
"I want you to cum all over my face now."-he says. I don't even take long to respond to his
demand. I shudder feeling pleasure rush through me. He plants kisses on my inner thighs
retrieving his coated fingers.
"I have to go."-he says sitting up.
"But-..."-I cut myself off realising that time was not on my horny ass's side. "...right."- I sit up
too collecting myself.
"This isn't over though...we've got all night."-he pecks my lips.
I don't even argue with that.
He gets up and offers me a hand up. He then excuses himself to go freshen up while I got
dressed. I go grab myself a sandwich. The taste is off but it was still edible. Gosh.
Xavier came down and left about 5 minutes later while I headed upstairs to take a shower. It
wasn't even a long one before I stepped out and dried my body. I stared at myself in the mirror.
There still wasn't as much of a change. Even from the side view. I smile. I put on an old top and
a pair of jeans with some slippers before texting Xavier a few things that I actually did end up
wanting him to bring along.
I manage to check up on my manager and my two employees on how they're doing today. I didn't
need to ask them much on any art related things cause I received those notifications and requests
personally. They assured me that everything was fine.
At 16h00 they drove in. The moment they burst through that entrance the were already talking up
a storm. Comparing two toys that Xavier bought them from - I have no idea.
"My toy is better cause he can talk."-Logan compared.
"Mine can talk too."-Azazi tries to fit into the mould.
I roll my eyes feeling completely ignored. "Guys are you not going to show your mommy some
love?"-I ask and that's when they seemingly remember that they actually have a loving mother to
hug. They rush to me throwing themselves into my hands. "Mama tell Zazi that my toy is better."
"Oh boy."-I pull out of the hug.
"Is not."
"Is too."
"Logan Zazi please stop this ridiculous fight okay. None of you should think the others' toy is
better because they're all good in their own way. Just like you two. You're both my babies you
both talk too much but I love you both equ...the same. Okay. Now you two will stop fighting like
this?"-I ask.
They both nod.
I smile. My babies have to know that I love them immensely and nothing will ever change that.
"Now your daddy here made you guys your favourite sandwich."
"Peanut butter and jam?"-they ask almost in unison and I nod. They immediately lit up.
"Yeah but I want you two to go and put your bags in your room..."-I say but they don't even let
me finish as they rush up the stairs to do what I requested.
"Your kids."-Xavier chuckles.
"They're yours too."-I say folding my hands.
"Here."-he hands me my plastic of goodies.
"Thank you husband."
"You're welcome wifey."
---
Night came and I was preparing for bed when my eyes darted to the huge framed picture on the
wall of our bedroom. It was of our wedding night. Yes we got married in the nighttime. Because
of the beauty of the night and just wanting to be different. I won't lie and say it didn't come with
it's own challenges or whatever but it was worth it.
I woke up late that day. Around 10h00 and had myself a glass of champagne. Athe stormed into
my room to reprimand me for drinking at that hour of the morning but there was no stopping me.
I had just stopped breastfeeding and craved anything that contained a certain percentage of
alcohol.
He didn't say much after that.
My wedding planner then came to tell me that the people responsible for the decor were done
and she gave them her stamp of approval. I trusted her. It did seem like a lot of things were
happening at once. It hadn't even been long after I managed to launch my line of paints and a set
of brushes... But here I was getting married.
I didn't see Xavier for two days straight before the wedding night and missing him a little like I
did did me good. I wondered how he was doing. How much did he miss me...that's if he did and
how did his friends treat him there.
Sheesh I chuckle after remembering how I looked for a phone to call him after not doing so for
the past two days. I just wanted to hear his voice nje...
Luckily I managed to get distracted by Anné and Liv who were my bridesmaids. Athe was my
stunning man-of-honour.
His words not mine.
We started getting dressed at the late hours of 17h00 and believe me when I say we took our time
because I would be walking down the isle at 20h00. Then our photo's would be taken after that.
The night was beautiful. Everything was perfect and just majestic. I imagined a beautiful
wedding and this is exactly what I got...and now five years on I would still do it again.
Xavier walks in carrying a bottle of champagne and two champagne glasses. He's smirking as he
kicks the door closed.
"And then? What's with you?"-I ask turning away from our wedding photo.
"Well I figured since the kids are asleep we could have a toast."
"A toast? To what?"
"Guess."
"Guess? Uhmm..."-he sits next to me and pecks my cheek. "...Yeah I don't know."
He puts both glasses on the bed and opens the bottle. I give him a look...he's going to be drinking
that alone.
"Your bubbly."-he hands me a glass. I pout.
"Are you going to tell me or...?"
"Fine."-he puts the bottle down. "...since you won't guess I'll just go ahead and tell you.
Remember that app I was so fixated with developing?"
I nod. "Wait it went well?"
"It went far better than well baby."-he lifts his glass. I do the same. "You are looking at the man
who has developed a multimillion rand worth software that got launched yesterday and is
currently number one o-..."
I couldn't even let him finish as I was already on my feet yelling my lungs out...until I realised
that we still had kids in the house and they were fast asleep. He on the other hand was just
laughing at me.
"Why are you laughing at me? I'm busy being proud of you here."-I put my glass on my dresser.
"You didn't even let me finish."
"But does it matter...I'm just ecstatic that your hard work has finally paid off my love. I know
how much you've worked and even the amount of time you've put into your project while still
being a present father."
"And husband."
"Of course!"-I utter wrapping my arms around his neck. "And an amazing husband at that too.
I'm proud of you I love you baby."
"More than I do?"-he squeezes my waist gently. He falls back dragging me with him. I straddle
him properly as I sit up taking off the vest I had on and throw it onto his face.
Gently I start grinding on him...
"Yes. More than you do."
"Let's not lie to each other please."-he chuckles removing the top from his face. He tosses it
somewhere.
"Oh so I'm lying now?"-my fingers unbutton the loose shirt he had on.
"A little bit."
I steadily feel him growing underneath me. The look he gives me becomes sterner. "Would I be
lying if I said you owe me some good loving?"
"Oh? That sounds like something I'd promise."
"Mhnnn..."-I lean in to kiss his lips my hands glide down his body and hook the beginning of his
pants pulling then down a little before pulling him out. He's hard in my hold and that alone has
me going crazy. I wanted him in me immediately. I could feel how soaked my panties were just
from grinding on him.
"I want you right now."-he murmurs against my lips. It's like he read my mind. I sit up and shift
my panties to the side easing myself on his hard self. He just slides in. Damn. "Well someone
was hungry for Papi."
Well I-
I ride him at a slow steady pace...feeling his whole length inside me. I feel so empowered by this.
He puts his hands on my thighs his thumb finds my aroused clit. He rubs it. Teasing it. I ride him
faster his thumb finds my aroused clit. He rubs it. Teasing it. I ride him faster feeling how the
pleasure builds up within my core.
"You feel so good."-I blurt leaning in to smooch him. He groans into my mouth and that only
was enough to be my undoing. I shake and quiver to the amazing feeling that takes over my
body. He's pounding me from underneath since I lost my pace. He spanks me before going
faster...
We were at it for more than an hour after I came. Bliss. That's the word I'll use to describe what I
was feeling right now. I'm laying in his sweaty hold drawing circles on his chest. Today felt like
we we're exploring each other all over again.
Sheesh.
"You still haven't touched your drink."-he says out of the blue. I look up at him and remember
that I barely touched it.
"I don't feel like drinking."
"But you love champagne."
"Yeah well probably not for the next 2 years I won't."-I mumble but he heard me loud and clear
which is why he immediately shot up. I chuckle before biting on the insides of my cheeks.
"2 years? What do you mean?"
"Well...I took a test last week and lets just say those two are not going to be our only worry
anymore."-I say and watch how his jaw drops to the floor before he takes both my hands.
"Are you saying what I think you are saying?"
"What am I saying?"-I tilt my head to the side.
"We're pregnant?"
I nod.
He jumps out of bed faster than the word fast. He's jumping like a maniac. My cheeks are
burning with excitement. "But wait...weren't you on birth control like for ages."
"It was only for 5 years...so."
He grabs the champagne bottle and starts drinking straight from it.
--------------------------------------------------------
I'm woken up by Xavier pecking my lips multiple times. The moment I open my eyes I'm met by
his blue eyes. "I'm off to work."
"Work? What time is it?"
"It's almost 7h00."-He says looking at his wristwatch.
My eyes go wide.
"The kids!"
"Relax relax I took care of it. They're having breakfast downstairs."
"Oh thank you husband."-I sigh out in relief.
"I figured you were too tired to even get up...I mean last night was a mess."-He chuckles and I
lightly push him while sitting up.
"Don't be silly...I could've managed."-I stretch.
"I believe you let me head out. These kids ain't going to drop themselves at school."
I nod.
"Take care of yourself and our baby."
"I will."
"I love you."
"Me love you too."
"Me love you more than you do."
"Me love you infinity."
"Okay okay okay...let me leave."-he says and after a few more kissing sessions he leaves.
Sheesh.
------------------------------------------------
"This is art."-Athe says looking at his painting.
I look at it and nod. "Interesting."
"I know...I'm painting as you may say from the heart."
"I don't say that."-I defend.
"You do my chommie."
"Whuu awa ke."-I put my brush down before having a good laugh. "I like the warm colors
though."
"I do feel warm Azi things are looking up."
"You mean the adoption thing right?"
"Yes. Oscar may be coming home with us tomorrow."
I squeal.
"That fast?"
"Yeah we had everything cleared. None of us have criminal records and all those Whatnots."
"I'm so excited for you guys!"-me.
This has been the language we've been speaking around here for the past two months or so. And
this is also my second trimester. I was four months pregnant now and yes I was enjoying it. This
was what I'd say is the first pregnancy that I've had peace of mind. Where I felt happy about
carrying this little one.
"We have everything prepared even his little room. I have pictures."
"I want to see."-I scoot closer to Athe as he reached for his phone. There he shows me the
pictures. It's a beautiful room fit for a boy.
"The color was Steve's choice..."-he says and we awkwardly look at each other when the
intercom goes on.
I quickly get up with Athe following suit. I answer the intercom. "Hello?"
"Azania."
"Who is this?"
"It's me Diana."-she says on the other end of the line.
"Di- no marn."-I let go of the button looking at Athe. He gives me a shrug before pressing the
button again.
"What do you want?"
"Oh...I just want to talk."
"Talk? Couldn't you send me a text or call Xavier as you should?"-I say truthfully. This woman
has no business whatsoever coming here to talk to me. We're not friends.
"Please Azania just let me in."-she says on the intercom. This was the longest conversation I've
had on here. I sigh and look at Athe for a sign of approval -I guess.
He shrugs again and I feel how my eyes roll.
Sheesh.
I open the gate and rush to the door as I watch her drive in. She parks and soon after exits the car.
She hurriedly goes to the back of the car and takes out two full looking suitcases before I see
Zach climbing out. He's so grown now. A young man. I haven't seen him in ages...but then I
frown...why are they here with suitcases?
Is this something Xavier knew and forgot to mention before he left for work?
"Hi...I'm so sorry for just showing up like this I didn't think you'd have company."-she says. The
two suitcases are next to her while Zach stood on her other side.
"What's going on here? What's with the bags?"
"Oh I figured Zach should come visit his father especially since I've kept him away for such a
long time."-she says not sounding like her usual bitchy self. In fact if I was being honest I'd say
she looked like she had been through hell. She looked skinnier too. Her eyes deep and
accompanied by dark eye bags. She wasn't the Diana I knew who had the world in her palm.
"We...can go in."-I suggested and she didn't hesitate. Athe helps her in with the suitcases.
"Xavier will be so excited to hear that Zach is here."-I try making the situation here s little less
awkward.
"I'm sure."-She says. It's quiet for a moment before she asks to talk to me in private.
"Zach and I will take his bags upstairs."-Athe says and they carry the suitcases up leaving me
with Diana.
"Are you okay Diana?"-I ask hugging myself.
She nods. "Yes."
"Does Xavier know you're here? With Zach?"
"He doesn't know anything."
I nod this time around. I have so many questions. This is the same woman who's been refusing to
allow her son to come and visit us for 3 years straight. I told Xavier to take her to court but he
refused excusing her. He believed she would eventually bring him over...But for 3 years?
"Why now though? Why didn't you bring him over all those years back?"
"I'm sorry okay...I was selfish. Very selfish. I shouldn't have done what I did to him or anyone
for that matter."
I sigh.
"What did you want to talk about?"-me.
She briefly looks down at her knotted fingers. "I'm going away."
"Huh? What?"
"I...I'm leaving. I'm sorry."
"You're sorry? Wha- where are you going?"
"Far. I don't know what to say."
I frown. Why is she being so cryptic?
"I have to go."-she says.
"Wait you still haven't told me where you're going. What am I supposed to say to Zach."
"Zach is in good hands. Tell him I love him...Zach of course."-she says and gives me a slight
smile before heading out.
That had to be one of the most confusing moments of my life. I look up at the two coming down
the stairs. The looks on their faces are asking if its fine to come out yet. I nod before heaving out
a sigh. "Did she leave?"-Zachery asks.
"Yes-..."-My thoughts halt when I hear a hear a loud bang from outside. My heart stops for a
minute before I rushed out. I froze dead on my spot when I saw Diana laying in a pool of blood.
"Oh my God!"-Athe exclaimed and rushed away with Zach. Slowly I made my way to where she
laid. A gun is still in her hold. I close my mouth as my tears start pouring out. "Yes an
ambulance fast! I don't know if she's breathing...Is she breathing Azania?"
"Azania!"
"Huh?"
"Is she breathing!"
I shake my head. "No...she shot herself in the head.."
-------------------------------------------------------------
So that day was hell. It was quiet. It was my relapse. It was Zama dying in my hold all over
again. It was me dealing with another child. It was me telling him everything will be fine. It was
me trying not to panic for my own baby. It was the cops asking me questions I had no idea how I
should be answering them. It was Xavier being just as confused and hurt by what happened here.
I didn't want to remember it. I wanted to forget it but how do you forget a woman telling you
they're going away and then finding out that they meant they were taking their own life. I now
understood what taking my own life would've meant for my husband and child.
I still dont know why she took her life like that.
I found his birth certificate medical details and a mile long letter in one of his suitcases.
The letter again apologised a mouthful. For everything.
I sip on my juice again watching these kids playing on the lawn.
"But Logan you are not fair."-I hear Zazi complain.
"You should go sit and let us play grown up soccer."-Logan says and before I even know it Zazi
is in tears rushing to me.
"Mama!"-she cries.
"What is it my baby?"-me.
"Lolo doesn't want to play with me."
"Logan...is that true?"-me. The boy looks at me and then at Zach.
"She'll get hurt mama."
"Then play another game to accommodate your sister."
"But mama..."
"Please Logan."
"Mama she'll get hurt."-he says.
"Okay okay okay..."-I chuckle. "They'll play with you later for now how about you relax here
with mama?"
"Mama you're boring."
I laugh. "I'm not boring!"
"You are mama."
"I am not...I'm just carrying your little sibling in here so running is not easy."
"When will my baby sista come out of your belly?"
"Soon Zazi...quick give me your hand."-I take her hand and put it on my belly where this little
one kept on moving.
"Ewww...what is that mama?"-She asks.
"It's the baby."
"Is it hurting?"
"No."-me.
"I want to hold her mama."
"You will Zazi."
---
The night sky was particularly beautiful tonight. The moon was out and the stars were bright.
"It's beautiful isn't it?"-Xavier startles me.
"It is."
He hugs me from behind resting his hands on my stomach kissing my cheek.
"How was work?"-me.
"Work was okay."
"Just okay?"-I chuckle.
"Yes. It was a long day baby."
"I had a long day with the kids too. All ten of them."-I joke.
"My kids aren't that bad."
"Then you don't know how energetic your boys are."-I laugh.
He joins me... "The one you're carrying doesn't know whats coming."
"Oh well."
The silence engulfs us as I remember the pizzas I ordered should be arriving soon.
"I ordered pizza. I hope that's okay with you."-I free myself from his hold.
"It's fine."-him.
I nod and prepare to make my way out when he stops me. "Zania do you think he's fine?"
"Who?"
"Zachery? I mean after everything that happened with his mother and-..."
"Xavier he's fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Well...no. You can never be too sure about what is going on in his head but surely we're doing
enough."-me.
'Zach is in good hands...'
"You know what you're right...you're right he's fine."-he smiles.
I clear my throat placing my hands on my side. "Are you okay Xander?"
He chuckles. "Why wouldn't I be Spencer? I married the love of my life."
"You bet your ass I am the love of your life."
"Did I tell you I love you today?"-he snorts.
"I don't remember...did I?"
"Yes but I want to hear it again."
"And again?"
"And again..."
"I'm sure the pizza has arrived..."
"Then say it quickly."-he chuckles.
Sheesh...
What is this?
"I love you."-me.
"See easy. Now lets go get that pizza."-he hooks my arm already making his way out of here.
"Wait what about me?"
"What about you?"
"Xavier..."
He grins before cupping my face and giving my lips plenty kisses.
"I love you."-him.
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I chuckle. "Me and you both."

"Uhmm...boss...I I..."-Nomvelo starts but Nqoba is having none of it.

"I don't stutter sir."-she answers him in a low voice.

"I'm waiting for you answer Nomvelo."-Nqoba.

Oh I want to touch his beard so bad!

I pout. "Uhmm force of habit sir"

"Sit down Azania."-Him.

Oh I like how my name just rolls off this tongue!

We're all looking around and everyone is just as shocked.

"Ms Mnguni well done."-he says.

Rejoice for being at everyone's service?

"That's impossible! "-Zinhle.

"Oh yes it is possible."-Zama.

She shrugs. "Mr regular degular is probably coming tonight..."

"Should we go spicy with today's meal?"-Zama asks a smirk on her face.

"You should stop doing that when you see Nqoba."-Zama.

"Licking your lips like he's a piece of meat."

"But he is a piece of meat."-I justify. She chuckles.

"A married piece of meat."

"And when has that ever stopped anyone in here?"

My eyes dart to him as I mumble a "Hi."

"Is that an excuse I hear coming along?"-he asks moving forward.

"Chommie! Same..!"-Zama stated and turned to me "...mind your head."

"What's wrong with my room?"-I ask sitting on my bed.

"Imagine...a painting prostitute."-I joke.

This house is beautiful.

I too was admiring this pearl necklace.

"Come lets have a drink."

"So...you live here?"-I blurt the question out.

Why does that even matter?

"Yes you like it?"

"İt's a sight."-I utter and take another sip.

"Flattery will get you anywhere Baba."

"I'm hoping it does."-He says.

"I am a politician baby."-Him.

I sit on his bed and check the time on my phone. 20h34.

"I wonder what you have on underneath that coat."

"Wanna see...?"-I question parting my legs a little just to tease.

He swallows and licks his bottom lip.

"Stand up I want to see more."-Baba commands.

I'm smirking as I stand up and drop the coat on the floor.

"Sorry Diamond."-he says.

He hooks my thong and pull it down and forces my legs apart.

Slow down old man...

"Let Baba see."

"Nipples...they're on my nipples."-I reply quickly when his finger penetrates my entrance.

"Someone is starting to enjoy themselves. "-I hear him say.

"Mhmm Baba...trust me I am."

"What the f-..."

"Shhhh...I think my wife is home."-he whispers.

Wife? Home? Shit?

"Uncuff me!"-I whisper loud enough for him to hear.

"I...I can't find the keys!"-He whispers back.

This can't be happening!

Well there goes my life.

I feel like strangling him to death!

"Go and distract her!"-I scold him still whispering.

Oh gosh I feel like crying!