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 TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction .................................................................................. 1

Exploring The Darkness Within................................................... 7

Chapter 1 : Introduction To Dark Feminine Energy ............... 8

Origin Of Feminine Energy ......................................................... 9
Tara .......................................................................................... 10
Kali ........................................................................................... 11
Light Vs Dark Femininity ..................................................... 11
Characteristic Of Dark Feminine Energy ................................. 13
Seduction ................................................................................. 14
Confidence .............................................................................. 14
Strong Boundaries ....................................................................... 15
High Standards ....................................................................... 15
Fearless .................................................................................... 16
Benefits Of Feminine Energy ..................................................... 16
1. Deeper Connection Between Your Sense Of Self- ......... 17
2. Better Communication ...................................................... 17
3. Deeper Connection With Inner Self- .............................. 18

Chapter 2 : Embrace Your Inner Dark Goddess .................... 20

Navigate Your Dark Thoughts With Persephone .............. 21
Find Your Scared Path With Hecate.................................... 22
Reincarnate With Kali ........................................................... 23
 Why Is It Important To Embrace Your Femininity ............... 24
How To Embrace Dark Femininity .......................................... 26
1. Follow The Path Of Dark Goddesses .............................. 26
2. Allow Healing And Recharging ....................................... 27
3. Heal The Feminine Wound ............................................. 27
4. Be With Mother Nature.................................................... 28
5. Practice Self-Love .............................................................. 28
6. Open Your Heart ............................................................... 29
7. Mediate ............................................................................... 29

Chapter 3 : Connect With Your Dark Energy ........................ 31

Overwhelming Masculine Energy ............................................ 32
Balance, Balance & Balance ....................................................... 33
Blocked Feminine Energy .......................................................... 34
1. Lack Of Creativity ............................................................. 35
2. Difficulty In Self-Expression ............................................ 35
3. Feeling Stuck ...................................................................... 36
4. Disconnected From Your Body ....................................... 36
5. Discomfort With Receiving ............................................. 37
6. Can’t Set Boundaries ......................................................... 37
7. Difficulty In Surrendering ................................................ 38
How To Connect With Your Feminine Energy...................... 38
1. Develop Your Intuition .................................................... 39
2. Feel Your Feelings ............................................................. 39
3. Rest And Recharge ............................................................ 40
4. Reflect On Yourself ........................................................... 40
5. Indulge Into Your Creative Side ...................................... 40
 6. Honor Your Body............................................................... 41
7. Try Cycle Syncing .............................................................. 41
8. Cultivate A Sacred Space ................................................... 42
9. Experiment With Practices And Techniques ................. 42
10. Meditation And Breathwork Can Be Life-Changing... 42
11. Allow Yourself-Space To Explore. ................................. 43
Think About It ............................................................................. 43

Reclaiming Your Feminine Power ............................................. 45

Chapter 4 : The Power Of Confidence .................................... 46

Characteristics Of A Confident Woman .................................. 48
1. They Focus On Their Strengths. ...................................... 49
2. They Don't Engage In Gossip. .......................................... 49
3. They Honor Their Self-Care. ............................................ 49
4. They Aren't Afraid Of Their Purpose. ............................. 49
5. They Don't Buy Into Society's Idea Of The Perfect
Woman. ................................................................................... 50
6. They Understand There Is Power In Saying No. ........... 50
7. They Know When To Ask For Help. ............................... 50
The Imposter Syndrome........................................................ 50
Causes Of Imposter Syndrome ....................................... 52

How Does It Affect Women? .......................................... 53

Everyday Life................................................................... 53
Relationships ................................................................... 53
Vicious Guilt Cycle ................................................................ 54
Imposter Syndrome In It’s Pinnacle .................................... 55
 Why Does It Happen? ..................................................... 56
Reframe Negative Thoughts................................................. 59
Talk To A Colleague Or Friend. ..................................... 59

Unsubscribe From Doubt. .............................................. 59

Decide To Be Confident. ................................................. 60

Remind Yourself-You’re Good At What You Do. ....... 60

Constructing Confidence........................................................... 61
1. Mindset ............................................................................... 61
2. Dress And Grooming........................................................ 62
3. Posture ................................................................................ 62
4. Overall Manner.................................................................. 63
5. Speech ................................................................................. 64
6. Communication Practices ................................................ 64
Positive Self-Talk ........................................................................ 65
How To Incorporate Positive Self-Talk .............................. 67
1. Put Off All Forms Of Negativity...................................... 67
2. Associate Yourself-With Positive People ....................... 68
3. Be Grateful.......................................................................... 68
4. Replace Negative Thoughts With Positive Ones ........... 68
5. Find The Things That Make You Happy When You Fail
.................................................................................................. 69
6. Always Do Positive Affirmations .................................... 69

Chapter 5 : Cultivate Your Charisma ..................................... 73

Charismatic Element .................................................................. 74
How To Become Charismatic?.................................................. 74
Charisma’s Existence In Religion ............................................. 75
 Flirt & Flirt ................................................................................... 77
1. Make Eye Contact .............................................................. 77
2. Smile .................................................................................... 78
3. Use Body Language ............................................................ 78
4. Touch Him Playfully.......................................................... 79
5. Find Subtle Ways To Put Yourself-In His Path ............. 79
6. Be Witty ............................................................................... 80
7. Show Genuine Interest ...................................................... 80
8. Leave Some Questions Hanging ....................................... 80
9. Ask Interesting Questions ................................................. 81
The Art Of Charisma .................................................................. 81
1. Presence ............................................................................... 82
2. Power ................................................................................... 83
3. Warmth ............................................................................... 84
Final Thoughts ............................................................................. 84

Chapter 6 : Dress To Impress .................................................. 86

Embrace Your Style................................................................ 87
How To Dress As A Goddess ............................................... 88
1. Color's Influence ........................................................... 88

2. Exquisite Physique ........................................................ 88

3. Add Glamor With Jewelry ........................................... 89

4. Balance The Scales ........................................................ 89

5. Your Personal Style Identity ........................................ 90

Secret Recipe ........................................................................... 91
A Flare Of Color ..................................................................... 93
 Final Word… .............................................................................. 95

Chapter 7 : Alluring Personality ............................................. 97

Become A Mystery Woman ...................................................... 97
Rules Of Femininity ................................................................... 98
Soft And Demanding: Your Special Touch ............................. 99
You Can Still Be Masculine While Being Soft And Feminine
..................................................................................................... 101
Mystery And Escape ................................................................. 102
In The End ................................................................................. 105

Chapter 8 : Master Body Language ....................................... 106

Mind-Body Relationship ......................................................... 107
The Beginning Of Peace........................................................... 109
The Present Moment: A Tale Of Meditation ........................ 110
1. Discover Your Comfort Zone ........................................ 110
2. Concentrate On The Here And Now ............................ 111
3. Give Your Thoughts Some Respect............................... 111
Types Of Meditation ................................................................ 112
1. Tapping ............................................................................. 112
2. Meditation With Music .................................................. 113
3. Directed Meditations ...................................................... 113
4. The Body Scan ................................................................. 114
5. Loving-Kindness Meditation ......................................... 114
6. Triangle Meditation ........................................................ 115
Final Thoughts .......................................................................... 115

Chapter 9 : Find Your Personal Style ................................... 117

Importance Of Personal Style ................................................. 118
 How To Find Your Personal Style........................................... 119
1. Choose Your Personality Design ................................... 119
2. Feel Good About Your Style ........................................... 119
Alone Time ................................................................................. 120
How To Exercise Solitude ........................................................ 121
In The End.................................................................................. 122

Chapter 10 : Know Your Worth ............................................ 123

Boundaries.................................................................................. 123
1. Be Consistent With Boundaries ..................................... 124
2. Set Healthy Boundaries On Social Media ..................... 124
3. Practice Self-Love ............................................................. 125
4. Communicate When Boundaries Are Crossed ............ 125
Avoid Chasing People ............................................................... 125
1. Develop Your Current Connections.............................. 126
2. Create Room ..................................................................... 126
3. Take The Pedestal Down................................................. 126
How To Support Other Women ............................................. 127
1. Listen Patiently ................................................................. 127
2. Fight For Women’s Education ....................................... 127
3. Grow The Network .......................................................... 128
4. Compliment Your Female Colleagues........................... 128
5. Celebrate Accomplishments ........................................... 129

Conclusion ................................................................................. 130

References .................................................................................. 134

 INTRODUCTION
“Women, or the feminine energy, was meant to be the custodian
or keeper of sensuality in relationships. It was also meant to be
the conveyor of dreams of ecstasy.”
-Lebo Grand

The femme fatale is a timeless archetype in literature and film, a

woman who uses her charm, wit, and seduction to manipulate and
ultimately destroy those around her. She is often portrayed as
mysterious, alluring, and dangerous, with an air of sophistication
that belies her true intentions. Her beauty is not restricted to her
appearance; instead, it is the celebration of her wit and charm.
But what about real life?
Being enchanting and alluring is secretly tied to your confidence, as
a woman of power. But, the interesting thing is that while people
associate the notion of a mysterious female with dark femme
features, it majorly hints towards vulnerability and grace. However,
to be different you need to stand out, and femme fatale is all about
defying all odds. Being an attractive, appealing, beautiful woman no
matter what you look like is about enchanting or falling in love with
yourself-first of all. If you enchant yourself, people will easily be
enchanted by you. And it’ll be easy to be genuine and honest with
yourself. Being alluring is not a personality trait but rather a
sensation, it’s an energy that you exude.

1
We all have a dark feminine instinct waiting to be unleashed; she
merely needs guidance. Ironically, from the classic film noir of the
1940s to modern-day thrillers, the femme fatale has remained a
compelling character, captivating audiences with her cunning and
unpredictable nature.
She is a character that embodies both fear and fascination, drawing
us in with her beauty and then leaving us in awe of her power. A
woman who has no desire for motherhood, she was primarily
concerned with her own interests and, most importantly, could not
be easily influenced; she was both captivating and intimidating.
This was a recipe for disaster in the late 40s, but now it's powerful
and captivating. Women who adapt to this sense of self-are
attractive and self-sufficient. They are able to detach themselves
from the societal roles that are used to confine women to small
cubicles all throughout their lives.

What does it take to be a femme fatale?

Have you ever wondered how different life would be if you
possessed a strong sense of self-and an understanding of human
behavior that rendered you unbeatable?
I did! Which made me embark on my journey to unleash my inner
goddess. So, before you start your own journey, you must
understand what it truly means to be a femme fatale.
A femme fatale places herself-as the top priority in her life, exuding
confidence and expecting nothing less than the best treatment from
others. She has no tolerance for mistreatment or disrespect. When
you link with your inner femme goddess, you will be able to see your

2
true potential. It is not about being mysterious but about being your
authentic self, without allowing people to corrupt your aura.
All in all, a femme fatale is an intriguing archetype for many
women, embodying everything sensual, enticing, and intriguing.
She exudes sex appeal, is alluring, and is untouchable. She
understands how to exploit her characteristics to win over any man
and achieve goals. You will be irresistible if you exude confidence
and carry yourself-with poise.
But who is the femme fatale, really? Is she simply a manifestation of
male fears and desires, or does she represent something deeper in
the human psyche? That's something we'll explore later on-
The femme fatale possesses an otherworldly quality due to her
charm and ability to mesmerize the people around her. She is often
labeled as the enchantress, witch, vampire, or siren, all of which are
associated with sexuality.
The term "femme fatale," which translates to "fatal woman" in
French, indicates that her story often involves the destruction of
men due to her seductive nature.

Why should women consider becoming her if she comes with such
negative labels?
Well, the whole idea, that you will see throughout this book, is
enriched with ways you can boost your self-confidence and
reconnect with your feminine nature.
You would often find yourself-crowded with comments against
femme fatale. In fact, earlier versions of this archetype, such as Eve
from the Bible or Circe from Greek mythology, served as cautionary

3
tales to warn against the potential dangers of unbridled female
sexuality and empowerment.
Despite representing female power and sexual liberation, the
femme fatale is typically portrayed as a villainous character. But she
is not all bad. While a femme fatale is portrayed as the villain in
every story, there are always two sides to the story. So, people are
too quick to judge a woman that knows her worth and has high
standards. In fact, one of her strongest fronts is her confidence.
The femme fatale's most notable characteristic is her high level of
self-assurance. She knows her worth and will not allow anyone to
convince her otherwise. Every woman has the ability to seduce. The
femme fatale is strong because she understands how to exploit it.
Because she is aware of it, and knows how to use it, she exudes
charisma and an aura that attracts attention.
What do Angelina Jolie, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Lucy Liu have
in common?
They're all twenty-first-century female actors, yes! They're also all
contemporary femme fatale from some of Hollywood's most
infamous movies. These women owe their fame as modern-day sex
icons to their foremothers, Bette Davis, Rita Hayworth, and Barbara
Stanwyck. In the 1930s and 1940s, actresses like Barbara Stanwyck
brought the alluring and shrewd female leads of hard-boiled
detective literature to life. These women were eventually dubbed
femme fatales, a French phrase that translates as "deadly women."
The idea behind them is to defy all odds and become irresistible.
Interestingly, women with a dark aura have always been
characterized as evil. There are countless examples of femme fatales,
in literature, throughout the ages. All of them are portrayed as

4
beautiful women, and seductresses, that lead the male protagonist
astray. But that's not quite it, you know.
While male villains can have gut-wrenching backstories that would
make you cry, there is rarely any scene for women that are
villainized for merely wanting to take control of their lives.
Again, there is a shift of focus when we talk about the femme fatale;
while a contemporary and traditional woman is soft and gentle,
dealing with sexual inadequacy and unable to own their true self, a
fatale femme is rebellious. She is the black sheep in the family that
wants to live life on her own terms, and why not?

How do you become a femme fatale?

It starts with your soul. The connection that you bear between your
mind and body. Being a femme fatale isn't a characteristic, it's a state
of mind. Embrace your femininity, and recognize its power, while
rejecting stereotypical expectations of what it means to be a femme
fatale.
Understanding the strategic influence of words and using them
precisely to achieve your goals, and keep your partner guessing, is
essential. Moreover, to be a true femme fatale, you must rely solely
on yourself. While it's entertaining to fantasize about a partner or
to see if your friends will call you, concentrate on being content on
your own. Develop your own interests and make time for personal
development and self-improvement.
'Are you ready for it...?'
Does this ring a bell? I can already sing the whole chorus of this
famous song by Taylor Swift. If you have stayed in touch with pop
culture, Taylor Swift is a name you cannot miss. However, her

5
transformation from nervous teen-pop idol to confident, fearless
Queen T was gradual, and it coincided beautifully with her
knowledge to embrace the dark side — a voyage all too familiar for
noir lovers.
The chaste and virginal girl grows into a powerful, self-assured
woman who is strong and resilient. She is a femme fatale, and you
can be too. It's about time you live on your own terms without
relying on others and adhering to their expectations.
Femme Fatale aims to shed light on the enduring appeal of dark
feminine energy, exploring why she continues to fascinate us even
as she remains a symbol of power and resilience.
Whether you are a lover of film noir, a fan of crime fiction, or
simply curious about what it takes to be a femme fatale, this book is
sure to captivate and enlighten you.
You will be exposed to different areas of interest such as
characteristics of a femme fatale and how to reconnect with your
femininity, in order to understand and incorporate the essence of a
femme fatale in your life. You will also learn about the unique styles
adopted by an enchanting woman, and how she is able to use her
attire to embody grace.
So without any further ado, let’s get into it, ladies!

6
EXPLORING THE DARKNESS WITHIN

7
 CHAPTER 1
INTRODUCTION TO DARK FEMININE ENERGY
“Success in worshiping feminine energy requires respecting her
feminine form in all females.”
― Tonmoy Acharjee

The tales of a femme fatale have been told for centuries. Is there a
commonality between all the mysterious and powerful women that
you idolize? From a simplistic perspective, they all are in touch with
their divine femininity. They are proud of their feminine attributes.
A classic femme fatale is a perfect example of ‘Je ne sais pas ce qu'il
y a à propos d'elle mais je veux être elle’ which roughly translates to
‘I don’t know what it is about her, but I want to be her..’ Most people
admire the femme fatale because she exudes quiet confidence and
is always elegant. She slinks into the room, perfectly dressed and
confident in herself.
Whenever someone mentions a femme fatale, a black widow from
the Marvel comic world comes to my mind. Black Widow, the only
female Avenger for almost 3 movies, was beautiful and equally
daring. She was not only ready to fight the villains but knew the
grace of her femininity. For years women have imitated Scarlet
Johanson's infamous role, sometimes to pay tribute to the swift

8
change in narrative that her character brought, and other times to
imitate her resilience.
Like the Black Widow, several women channel their dark feminine
energy to conquer their fears and increase their confidence.
You must be wondering why it is important to do so.
Well, while darkness is associated with something corrupted, I want
you to detach this particular meaning from the word, and look at it
from a new perspective. Anything that is engulfed with darkness is
powerful and resilient, and in order to dominate and win at every
stance of life, you need to be patient, but also decisive. Dark
feminine energy ensures that you are able to take a stand for
yourself-and assert dominance.

Origin Of Feminine Energy

What truly is dark feminine energy?
The dark feminine energy, or the shadow side of femininity, refers
to a subset of feminine energy often suppressed or undervalued by
society. This energy can manifest in destructive behaviors or
actions, such as jealousy, manipulation, and cruelty. However, it's
important to note that these negative traits are not inherently
feminine or exclusively attributed to women.
The concept of the divine feminine is the opposite of the dark
feminine, representing the positive, nurturing, and creative aspects
of femininity. Embracing the divine feminine means
acknowledging and valuing these qualities, and bringing them into
balance with the masculine energy in the world.

9
Suppressing the feminine energy in society can lead to an imbalance
of power and a disconnection from nature and spirituality.
Therefore, both men and women need to recognize and honor the
divine feminine to achieve harmony and balance in the world.
Furthermore, the dark feminine is not inherently evil or negative.
Instead, it represents the suppressed or undervalued aspects of
femininity. These qualities can include ego, vulnerability, and
darkness, often associated with wildness. However, embracing
these traits can lead to growth and healing, allowing individuals to
express themselves and fully connect with their inner selves. If you
want to embrace and understand the origin of dark feminine energy
fully, let's dive into the stories of two powerful dark goddesses.

Tara
Tara, the Buddhist goddess, is said to have been created from
Avalokiteshvara's tear, which dropped to the ground and formed a
lake. She is the female Buddha, the compassionate mother of
liberation. She is usually depicted seated on her lotus throne with
her right leg dangling and a stern grimace on her face. She resembles
the blackness of the womb, where life begins, and represents the
navigation of stormy waters when we suffer self-doubt (Alexander,
2022).
While Tara is often represented as a dark feminine god, the essence
of her nature is beautiful. It revolves around the birth of a new life
and women's endurance. In fact, through the lens of her story, you
can appreciate visions of feminine strength that are often neglected
within the social construct of society. While Tara reflects the growth
and positive manifestations, Kali is just another side of the same
coin.

10
Kali
Kali is a black goddess representing the Hindu goddess of death and
destruction. She represents shakti, or feminine energy and
creativity. According to her mythology, Durga, the Hindu warrior
goddess, gave birth to her after demons overran the globe. She
vanquishes the demons, and her blackness represents endless
darkness, which may both destroy and produce.
This narrative shows how the dark feminine rescues the planet by
destroying it. Interestingly, Kali represents the rejuvenation of the
world system. According to China Ballard, author of The Power of
the Dark Feminine deals with the dark feminine energy which
revolves around our inside and outward worlds (Weagle, 2018).
Needless to say, you, as a woman, have the ability to eradicate
negative belief systems in order to develop new ones. Think about
it- women have an important role to play within society since we
are tasked with birthing life and raising it. Women can do
wonderful things if they put their heart and mind into it. You have
the power to deconstruct and rebuild ideas. It's important to start
with yourself-and embrace your feminine side, to explore your true
strength.

Light vs Dark Femininity

The light side of femininity has been on the rise for some time, and
while there is still resistance to it, it is more accepted than the dark
feminine. This is because society has been convinced by the
patriarchy and modern religion, that dark feminine energy is "bad,"
"evil," and "sinful." For example, female pleasure, witchcraft,
speaking one's truth, menstruation, independence, and choosing

11
not to get married, have all been associated with negativity (Weagle,
2018).
Women have been connected with the dark since ancient times, but
at some point, the dark became something to fear and avoid.
Witches, in particular, threatened patriarchal structures, because
they were powerful beings who could not be controlled. As a result,
women have learned to reject the dark feminine within themselves
and their world, which has disconnected them from their power
and each other.
In matriarchal societies, femininity's light and dark sides were
valued and respected. However, with the rise of patriarchy, the dark
feminine became distorted and suppressed. To reclaim this side of
yourself, you must let go of your inherited limiting beliefs and be
open to welcoming your dark feminine energy back into your life.
There must be a balance between your light and dark feminine
energy, where kindness is your best accessory, but wit is your
sharpest weapon.
Although many see dark feminism as just another means to entice
men, its roots are directly related to a type of feminism that seeks to
break away from patriarchal society's diktats, by urging women to
reclaim their dark energy.
Women that are frequently attributed with dark feminine energy
often use phrases like freedom, pleasure, seduction, truth, and
intuition in their life, but what are they really talking about? They're
talking about allowing inner feelings, the unconscious, traumas,
needs, anxieties, and desires to surface by allowing women to
explore a side of themselves that they frequently forget or are
obliged to suppress. Releasing dark feminine energy can be a first

12
step towards transitioning from "victim" to "agent of change", and
becoming someone who can assert her wishes and demands.
To really understand what dark feminine energy is, you have to be
willing to look at your darker side. It's easy to ignore the parts of
ourselves that we don't like, but that's not how we grow as
individuals. In fact, accepting our bad qualities is actually how we
empower ourselves. Everyone has a dark side, which is often
referred to as the shadow in psychology. It's made up of parts of our
personality, both negative and positive, that we're not aware of. As
uncomfortable as it may be to acknowledge, our dark side often
causes problems in our intimate relationships. If you want to
understand someone else's dark side, you first need to develop
awareness and compassion for yourself. Becoming aware of your
dark femininity, and how it affects your relationships, can have a
positive impact on your life. This is part of the process of maturing
as a person. So, don't be afraid of exploring your dark, internal, aura
that you repress because of societal structures.
You must be wondering, what are some of the famous traits
attributed to women with dark feminine energy?
There are several characteristics and traits associated with a femme
fatale. Some prominent ones, as you must have guessed by now, are
fearless and seductive. Most of these traits are bold and strong. They
exude complexity but also imitate resilience.

Characteristic Of Dark Feminine Energy

Dark feminine women have distinct characteristics that make them
stand out. While they are associated with being dominant, a woman
that has mastered the balance between the positivity and darkness

13
within her is able to channel both, when they are required. She is
not only attractive but also assertive, which helps her achieve her
goals effectively.
Here are 5 popular traits that women with dark feminine energy
possess:

Seduction
When a woman is in her dark feminine energy, she is deeply
connected to her body and pleasure. This is what makes her
incredibly attractive and magnetic. She brings a new level of
intimacy and passion to any relationship or connection. The
divinity of feminine energy lies within the concurrent intimate
moments (Anna, 2019). That means, to be seductive, you will have
to reconnect and focus on your regenerative qualities through the
maximum use of your senses. The immanence of touch swiftly
resonates with the idea of seduction.

Confidence
Humans are complex beings, but confidence is a constant attribute
in a female that is often considered an aspect of a femme fatale. This
is mostly because she is able to own the room that she walks into
and is unapologetically her authentic self. Genuine confidence
emanates from truly understanding oneself-and embracing one's
true identity.
It's acknowledging that you're perfect just the way you are and not
requiring modification for the sake of anyone else. A woman should
recognize her own value, and be self-assured in her abilities and
attributes which make her alluring and enchanting. For example,
when you are surrounded by a group of executives in your

14
workplace, you are able to converse with them and network
properly.

Strong Boundaries
When a woman taps into her dark feminine energy, she is able to
hold strict boundaries, and she's not afraid to uphold them. She's
skilled at setting people straight, especially men who may not have
her best interests in mind. Trust me, nobody wants to mess with a
woman who's in touch with her feminine energy. She knows what
she wants and isn't afraid to go after it (Anna, 2019).
Have you ever felt like a friend is trying to overstep and invade your
aura by constantly commenting on your body or lifestyle? When it
comes to a woman who acknowledges her dark feminine energy,
she can strategically assert the boundaries she has created for every
individual in her life.

High Standards
Having high standards is one of the main characteristics of dark
feminine energy. A woman with dark feminine energy will not
accept less than what she deserves. She is not frightened to leave
what is offered to her and move on to better options. In fact, she
does not linger around, settling for the bare minimum, and
pleading for change. She knows that by walking away, she is making
room for bigger things to come her way (Bitanga & Chan, 2021).
You must have encountered a man who did the bare minimum for
you and expected big things in return. As a woman, you might feel
like you owe people a sense of care, but you don't. It's completely
fine to walk out of a relationship that does not meet your standard.

15
In fact, having high standards ensures that you are safe from bad
experiences.

Fearless
To truly embody the dark feminine trait of fearlessness, you must
allow yourself-to take risks. This means understanding that you
have spiritual support, that your ancestors have your back, and that
the divine is guiding you along your path. When you have this level
of faith, you can live without fear.
It's important to note that the fearlessness of the Dark Feminine is
not the same as embracing the shadow. This is a common
misunderstanding. Rather, the Dark Feminine represents the power
to transform the shadow into something valuable (Bitanga & Chan,
2021).

Benefits Of Feminine Energy

Don't underestimate the power of your feminine energy. This
energy is essential for resilience, rejuvenation, and showing up as
your best self. When you tap into your feminine energy, you can
connect with yourself, trust yourself, and love yourself.
In our society, the focus is often on "doing" and achieving more,
which is a masculine energy. While this is important, it's not healthy
to always be in this energy. It's essential to tap into your feminine
energy and embrace it (Bitanga & Chan, 2021).
Connecting with your feminine energy can be challenging,
especially in a society that often tells us we're not enough. But it's
worth it. By reconnecting with your feminine energy, you can
accept yourself-just as you are and increase your self-worth and

16
self-love. You can trust yourself, and your decisions, and let go of
self-doubt.
Embracing your feminine energy is crucial because it allows you to
be authentically yourself, without needing to change a thing.

Here are 3 reasons why feminine energy is beneficial:

1. Deeper Connection Between Your Sense of self-

Have you ever glanced in the mirror and wondered who the tired
soul in the reflection is? I've caught a peek of myself-and thought,
that couldn’t possibly be me. My reality was that I had forgotten
who I was, and the "me" reflected in the mirror felt like a distant
acquaintance.
The path back to myself-began with realizing that I am a perfect and
complete being. I wasn't required to believe it right away. That was
an evolved perspective that I was not fully aligned with (Ashby &
Ghosh, 2022). As I started exploring my feminine energy, I started
becoming aware of the power I had within myself. Suddenly, I was
able to work through difficult and challenging situations at work,
because I had an immense boost of confidence.

2. Better Communication
In the past, I found communication with my peers and loved ones
to be confusing and lacking sincerity, often leading to failed
attempts at conveying my intended message. With so many
different communication styles and individual interpretations,
misunderstandings, irritation, and resentment started becoming a
common occurrence.

17
However, once I surrendered and allowed my feminine energy to
guide my communication and interpretation of information, any
hidden agendas dissolved. I was able to clearly deliver my message,
or fully receive the meaning behind what was communicated to me,
in a way that benefitted both parties (Bitanga & Chan, 2021). As a
result, my relationships experienced significant growth, bringing
me joy, fulfillment, and happiness beyond my expectations.

3. Deeper Connection With Inner self-

For a long time, especially in my professional life, I followed the
guidance and objectives set by others, without taking the time to
listen to my own intuition and wisdom. I ignored my own feelings
about certain things, like relationships and jobs, which taught me
to some valuable yet difficult lessons.
Now, I make a conscious effort to connect with my inner wisdom,
which is fueled by my spiritual connection and both masculine and
feminine, energies. This wisdom guides me through every decision
and situation that I face, allowing me to make choices that serve me
on a deeper level.
As a result, I feel newfound confidence in my decisions, knowing
that they are aligned with my true self-on a spiritual level, even if I
can't see the bigger picture. Therefore exploring my feminine
energy allowed me to embrace my faults and work through them
effectively.
All in all, dark feminine energy allows you to find your purpose and
identity within the world. Most importantly it helps you gain
confidence and assert healthy boundaries with people. Again, as
you explored in this chapter, the most notable characteristic of a

18
woman, with dark feminine energy, is her high level of self-
assurance. She knows her worth and will not allow anyone to
convince her otherwise. Plus, every woman has the ability to seduce,
but since it is frowned upon we do not often use it (Caballero, 2023).
But, as you will see in the next chapter, women are reluctant to
embrace their dark feminine side majorly because they are
unwanted by society. However, when you explore these energies,
you will understand that they improve your confidence and help
you navigate the world. This leads us to our next chapter. So, if you
are ready to explore how you can embrace your dark femininity,
turn the page and keep reading!

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 CHAPTER 2
EMBRACE YOUR INNER DARK GODDESS
“There is no why – no question and no answer. You cannot ask
the Dark Goddess why – she is her own why. Your questions – my
questions – are less than the dust beneath her throne.”
― Jane Meredith

The aura that envelopes your body and soul has a connection with
your mind. As women, we are often told to suppress our feelings
and intuitions. Women for years have felt the need to hide their
emotions. Being a woman you must feel the burden of the world
weighing you down.
As you turn 30, you are expected to get married, balance a career
and perfect a family life. During your 20s you were caught up in
seeking validation and running after your goals. As years passed you
lost touch with your sense of self-and inner goddess. She often
resurfaces from time to time, gauging your attention, asking you to
reconnect. But, you have been so caught up with life that you forget
the beauty of your soul. Women are not only beautiful creatures but
also intelligent beings that possess the innate gift of emotional
intelligence, control and patience. We often neglect, suppress and
forget our inner strength. It lies within our core and is always
waiting to be released.

20
Have you ever felt like your inner goddess is trying to reconnect
with you?
In a state of stillness, when you are alone with your thoughts, there
is a voice inside your head that constantly reminds you of your
strength and courage. Surprisingly, there are some dark goddesses
that are perceived as worshippers of darkness but wield ultimate
power, yet, they are symbols of healing and blessing. Here is how
embracing the Dark Goddesses can empower us during trying
times:

Navigate Your Dark Thoughts With Persephone

Persephone, the Greek goddess, divides half the year between her
earth-goddess mother Demeter in the spring and summer and
leading souls in the hereafter as Hades' wife and queen of the
underworld in the fall and winter. She reminds us that grace can be
found in all seasons and times, no matter how abundant or barren.
When we enter a winter season in our lives, she urges us to venture
into the darkest corners of our unconscious self, our own personal
"underworld." You might be afraid of your dark intrusive thoughts,
but what we are truly fearful of is whether or not we can control our
actions (Alexander, 2022).
She demonstrates that no matter how harshly we are forced to
confront the unknown (most stories account of her abduction and
forced marriage with Hades prior to her ascent to beloved wife and
queen) (Ashby & Ghosh, 2022). She reminds you that no matter
what, you will always have the power to change the narrative of your
life. So, don't be afraid and embrace your faults. Stay tall in the face
of difficulty and don't let the trivialities of life sway you.

21
In order to fully channel Persephone’s grace and resilience you need
to allow yourself-to face your deepest and darkest thoughts,
stinging pains and fears, that is when your healing will begin. When
you are willing to experience your feelings at full force, you will be
able to embrace your inner goddess.

Find Your Scared Path With Hecate

The goddess Hecate, who existed before the Hellenistic period,
carries a lit torch to guide us through obscure and enigmatic places,
encouraging us to discover our inner magic, strength, and
brightness to light our paths. This three-faced goddess helps us to
learn from our past experiences, make the most of our present
opportunities, and make the best decisions for our future. When
you embrace your inner magic, you are able to make opportunities
for yourself, expand your network and multi-task effectively while
considering strategies of time management. It is amusing that
Hecate is someone that is seen in a negative light, all while she is
exuding strength (Anna, 2019).
Despite being associated with darkness and serving as a protector
of witches and women, as well as a keeper of spells and sacred
knowledge, her name means "the shining and bright one." Hecate
teaches us that by fearlessly embracing all that is obscure and
concealed, we can gain access to ultimate truth, inner wisdom,
power, and clarity. This enables you to navigate challenging and
hazardous paths with confidence, and move forward gracefully and
skillfully, just as she does (Ashby & Ghosh, 2022). So, don’t be afraid
of finding nurturing wisdom in your life through the effect of your
dark femininity. The obscure nature of your inner dark goddess can
help you gain clarity without letting emotions cloud your judgment.

22
Reincarnate With Kali
While Persephone and Hecate are goddesses we might invoke at
difficult times, the Hindu goddess Kali has a habit of barging into
our life whether or not we are prepared for her. In fact, she
frequently comes into our lives when we are at our most relaxed and
complacent, turning everything upside down. She has the tendency
to shake you to your core, causing you to realize that your
foundation is flawed. What you deem as stable is just quick sand
that is slowly devouring you (Ashby & Ghosh, 2022). She forces you
to deconstruct and demolish your old self, and as you grieve for the
debris of the old, she tenderly forces us to create something new.
Springing from the center of warrior-mother goddess Durga’s
forehead to obliterate an undefeatable demon, Kali is the fierce
focus, and will, required to defeat our most self-sabotaging patterns
and our own unyielding demons. She teaches you control and self-
perseverance. Her movement is noticeable when your patience has
been stretched, it's the part of you that asks you to stop and
disempowers routines (Ashby & Ghosh, 2022). You can see the
reflection of Kali when you take a sudden, firm stand for yourself-
and finally quit the poisonous job, leave that bad relationship, or
break free from an addiction. Kali is the part of us that will push us
to our limits, deep into our darkest fears, and then show us that
instead of falling and crashing, we have always had the ability to fly
and thrive. So, don’t be afraid to let go of your baggage and start
with a clean slate.
When you open your heart and mind to embracing the dark
goddess, you give yourself-permission to adore the half of yourself-
that you frequently keep hidden from others and from yourself. Kali

23
is a lovely creator, but she understands that in order to create a
lovely world, the old one must be destroyed. Inanna tells us that
when you let go of your ego, you are reborn as a stronger, wiser, and
more complete woman.
The dark goddesses serve as powerful reminders of our inner frailty.
However, as devastating as Sekhmet was, she is the protector of
justice, and if you're innocent, she can assist you in overcoming
whatever you're facing.

Why Is It Important To Embrace Your Femininity

When you embrace the dark goddess, you can confront your fears,
including those within yourself, and emerge as a better person. This
is symbolized by the death and rebirth cycle, where you discard
what's holding you back and embrace what makes you whole.
Society has conditioned us to fear the darkness, but it's in facing our
inner darkness that we can begin to heal.
However, working with dark goddesses requires preparation
because you may uncover things you don't like about yourself. The
dark goddess may test your worthiness and expect you to be open
and honest about your deepest struggles. It takes time and patience
to see the rewards of this journey, just like how it took Inanna time
to return from the underworld. The dark goddess is powerful and
has gained her strength through her own trials, so she expects
nothing less from you (Casey, 2022).
By acknowledging and embracing the dark goddess, we learn to
accept and integrate all parts of ourselves, including the shadowy
aspects that we may not be proud of. This acceptance leads to a
greater sense of wholeness and empowerment. The Dark Goddess

24
is often associated with transformation and rebirth, as she
challenges us to face our fears and transform our limitations into
strengths (Ashby & Ghosh, 2022).
So, these are the powerful women called dark goddesses, who are
both chaotic and reconstructive. Some people warn against working
with them because they can be difficult to handle, but if you
embrace your own dark side and work with them honestly, it can
have a positive impact on your life. By facing our fears and being
truthful about our hidden aspects, we can become whole and healed
individuals. It's important to be patient, respectful, and honest with
yourself-and the dark goddess you're working with, and she'll
reward you for your efforts. But remember to honor her back too.
Ultimately, the Dark Goddess invites us to see ourselves as
multifaceted and multidimensional beings, capable of embodying
both light and dark. By embracing all parts of ourselves, we can
cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-
love, leading to a more fulfilling and empowered life.
More and more women are listening to the sacred call within to
reclaim their sacred feminine gifts and awaken their divine beauty,
sensuality, receptivity, and creativity. However, it's just as
important for us to honor the Dark Goddess, who embodies the
bold, mysterious, and fearless aspects of ourselves. She's
represented by goddesses like Persephone, Hecate, and Kali and
reminds us that we, like the Goddess, are complex and multifaceted
beings who should embrace both our light and dark sides. (Belle,
2017)
Through embracing all parts of ourselves, including the darker
aspects, we can find our way back to wholeness, freedom, and true

25
feminine empowerment. The Dark Goddess's wisdom teaches us
this valuable lesson.
Certain dark goddesses, such as the Morrigan and Sekhmet, are
known for their fierce protection of their loved ones and their
ability to punish those who threaten them. Kali, on the other hand,
represents the complexities of motherhood and the positive and
negative effects of how one raises their child. Other dark goddesses,
referred to as "wild women," are teachers who encourage
individuals to live a fulfilling life beyond societal norms.

How To Embrace Dark Femininity

Working with the dark goddess can be both rewarding and
challenging, as she may force you to confront parts of yourself-that
you dislike, but ultimately, this process can lead to healing and
transformation. It's important to respect and revere the dark
goddess, rather than fear her. By honestly facing your inner
demons, the dark goddess can help you heal and tap into your true
power and greatness (Casey, 2022). Therefore, It is important for
you to embrace your dark feminine power, but the question is how?
You must be wondering if there are rituals and hypnosis involved.
Ironically these are merely rumors. When speaking of embracing
your feminine nature there are some simple things you need to do.
Here are 7 ways you can reconnect with your femininity:

1. Follow the path of dark goddesses

The dark feminine is represented by the Goddesses Isis, Lakshmi,
and Lilith. Connecting with these Goddesses and their abilities can
assist us in rediscovering our dark feminine energy.

26
Lilith, for example, represents uninhibited, unabashed, untamed
sexual energy and primal life force (Casey, 2022). She is one with
pleasure and desire, as well as the evil side of the feminine. She
assists us in recognising patriarchal power dynamics at work,
illuminating our shadows, and returning to our actual nature—
which is emancipation and freedom. And the position of the Black
Moon Lilith in your birth chart can shed even more light on all of
this (Belle, 2017).
Learn more about these dark Goddesses and invoke them when you
meditate, or seek heavenly direction.

2. Allow healing and recharging

Women are frequently preoccupied with daily duties and often fail
to protect their energy. It is critical to acknowledge our needs and
nourish our spirits.
To refresh, try Reiki therapy, a Japanese energy healing technique.
This is where you are aligning the mind, body, and spirit, as well as
unblocking harmful patterns and limiting beliefs, by harnessing old
energy from the past, including present traumas or experiences.
Singing bowl therapy is another method for balancing your energy.
Singing bowl therapy uses vibrational frequency to decrease stress
and anxiety. It aids in the alignment and strengthening of women's
mental, emotional, and physical states (Belle, 2017).

3. Heal the feminine wound

Many women carry deep wounds from the past, specifically from
the witch hunts that forced women to turn against each other out
of fear. This was a calculated plan to destroy the powerful bond of

27
the feminine and isolate women (Belle, 2017). Even today, we can
see the lingering effects of this in how women often distrust and
betray each other.
If we want to fully embrace both the dark and divine aspects of
feminine energy, it's crucial that we address and heal these wounds
(Crain, 2023). We need to examine how we interact with other
women in our lives, whether it's within our families, friendships, or
communities. By doing so, we can begin to rebuild the bonds of
sisterhood and trust that were torn apart by the witch hunts and
create a more powerful, united feminine energy.

4. Be with mother nature

Dark feminine energy can be found in the physical soil beneath our
feet. Every day, death, decay, and rebirth occur here. It's a magical
and alchemical location. Women are inextricably linked to nature
because she is us(Crain, 2023).
So be there for her. Plant your bare feet on the ground, take a dip in
the water, breathe in the fresh air, and be immersed in nature's
splendor. Physically engaging with nature will assist you in
connecting with the dark feminine.

5. Practice self-love
If you want to learn how to embrace dark feminine energy, you’ve
got to begin with a foundation of deep love and acceptance for
yourself. To love yourself-and show yourself-love, means many
things.
Accepting yourself-exactly as you are today (while striving to
become the woman you aspire to be), making peace with your past

28
and your flaws, letting go of anything that feels heavy (including
toxic relationships) (Belle, 2017), giving your body what it craves
most, taking rest when you need it, adorning yourself-in clothes
colors and jewelry that make you feel most sensual and alive (Crain,
2023).

6. Open your heart

To reclaim your feminine power and embrace your dark feminine
energy, it is important to practice being open with yourself-and
others. This requires courage, vulnerability, and forgiveness,
especially if you have past wounds that still affect you. However,
opening your heart is not about others; it is for your own benefit.
By living your life with an open heart, you can bring peace to your
world, build genuine connections with others, and fully radiate
your true self.

7. Mediate
Meditation is a peaceful practice and powerful tool to unite our
mind, body, and soul, feel grounded, and tune into our shadows.
Create space to sit in stillness for five minutes each day and let all
your thoughts and emotions wash over you (Crain, 2023).
Remember, meditation is not about emptying the mind—it will
never be empty—it’s about bringing awareness to your thoughts
and recognizing that they are not you. You are the witness and you
have the power to control everything that goes into your life (Belle,
2017).
It takes courage and patience to embrace your dark goddess that lies
within the depths of your soul. Even though embracing divine
goddesses might sound more fun and seem easier, during the

29
darkest nights and loneliest times, there is no greater ally than the
Dark Goddess Herself-to guide us back to light (Belle, 2017). That
is why you must seek to embrace and integrate all aspects of the
Goddess if you want to live from your full feminine power. Well,
embracing and acknowledging your dark femininity brings you one
step closer to completely mastering your energy. So, what’s next?
It’s time to connect. Turn to the next chapter and find out how you
can form a connection with your femininity.

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 CHAPTER 3
CONNECT WITH YOUR DARK ENERGY
“A woman who has mastered the energetics of desire
can have anything she wants.”
― Lebo Grand

Dark femininity is a spiritual concept that exists as a counterpart of

divine feminine. But, we often forget its powerful assertion against
the patriarchal and masculine structures that are embedded within
our societies.
You must have felt the exhausting pressure of being a good mom, a
wonderful homemaker and a happy wife. Unfortunately men have
got it all! When you are tied and pulled in several directions, you
burn out and your energy seeps within the cracks of your
malnourished essence.
Like Michelle Obama likes to say ‘a relationship is never 50/50’
there will be days your husband or partner will put 60% into the
relationship, while you will be giving your 40%. As time files women
are beginning to pursue a career and enter into motherhood. They
are firmly supported by men and their partners. In fact, it is the
most beautiful journey that a mother and her children embark on,
as the mother teaches her children about the obscurities of life and
how to deal with them. However, for far too long women have been

31
held captive in these gendered roles that leech their femininity out
of them. Therefore, when you siphon your dark femininity you are
not only able to stand up for yourself-but also stand up against the
treacheries of the world.

Overwhelming Masculine Energy

As mentioned earlier, in a contemporary society, it’s so easy for you
as a woman to get caught up in your ‘masculine energy’ and lose
touch with your more feminine side. Hence, when you connect and
channel your dark feminine energy, it enables you to regain
momentum in your life, set your prospects straight and get your
head in the game again. If you are a mother, channeling your dark
femininity is a must for you (Elisa, 2023). Why? Majorly because
you are standing at the edge of a precipice and staring right in the
face of a mountain of challenges. Sometimes you will find yourself-
in an unsupportive environment solely because you are a working
mother. In those moments you can use your inner dark goddess,
become assertive and fight for yourself-as well as your children.
Now, you will find that your masculine side gets expressed when
working toward a goal, making progress, getting things done, and
pushing forward, that is normal. Whilst your feminine side gets
expressed when you move with the flow of life, embrace our creative
energy, dance, play, and attune to our internal process. However,
the dark feminine energy is a dangerous combination of both, you
will balance the passive aggression of your masculine energy and
the warmth of your divine femininity (Elisa, 2023). This will make
you unstoppable.

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The past year or so, I’ve been focused on tapping into a sense of
abundance in my life. While a large part of this mindset has
definitely been focused on gratitude and appreciation for what I
have, the other part is all about believing in my own worthiness.
This means connecting to and believing in the idea that ‘I am
worthy and deserving of the things that I am trying to bring into my
life’.
In my own journey, this has translated into me trying to tap into my
own inner power & femininity - into what is innate and existing
inside of me.
Irrespective of gender, every individual possesses both feminine
and masculine characteristics, which are essentially the energy they
emit. Feminine energy embodies the qualities of Mother Nature,
such as being nurturing, protective, patient, and receptive. This
energy is characterized by intuition, creativity, interconnectedness,
self-worth, openness, and wildness. On the other hand, masculine
energy is associated with action, productivity, competition,
rationality, logic, motivation, stability, and independence.

Balance, Balance & Balance

Although it is important to balance these energies, society tends to
prioritize and value masculine energy over feminine energy. Society
places emphasis on productivity, success at work, and detachment
from emotions and feelings, which has been criticized by many
artists and filmmakers. For instance, in the movie "Spirited Away,"
Hayao Miyazaki portrays Chihiro's journey to overcome a
capitalistic and greedy society that places too much emphasis on
work and neglects spirituality.

33
As someone who was affected by this societal norm, I used to
perceive feminine qualities as weak and negative. However, during
my self-healing journey, I discovered that embracing my femininity
helped me find peace and happiness. You can compare these
energies to the Yin and Yang and emphasize that they work together
to achieve balance. The Yin represents feminine energy, while the
Yang represents masculine energy, and both energies are necessary
and complementary to one another.
To fully realize her divine essence, stand in her power, and create a
more harmonious world, a woman must embrace the sacred
feminine. This does not mean operating solely from feminine
energy, but rather understanding the full range of power as both
feminine and masculine beings and cultivating the energy when
necessary.
Most women experience an override of masculine energy, which
they believe is necessary to succeed in their careers and in the world.
However, these women need to recognize and embrace their innate
feminine energy, even as they navigate a world that values
masculine qualities. A woman who sources her creativity and
energy from taking exquisite care of herself-is more powerful than
one who exhausts herself-by pushing too hard and experiencing no
joy or pleasure. Thus, even if they are CEOs, embracing and finding
power in their feminine qualities is key to their success (Emily,
2020).

Blocked Feminine Energy

Your source of feminine energy erupts from within your body and
soul. It flows through your mind, thoughts and feelings hence being

34
reflected through your emotions, actions and decisions. However,
it is possible that your energy is blocked by certain actions or
situations. Therefore in modern societies, women struggle with a
shortage of energy merely because the source is blocked. I have
accumulated 7 signs that show your feminine energy is blocked,
they include:

1. Lack of creativity
Do you ever feel as if your mind is empty and you can't come up
with new ideas? Maybe you're feeling uninspired and trapped in a
space with no way out. You might experience a writer's block or be
unable to come up with ideas for the big meeting that is due soon.
If this sounds familiar, it can be an indication of blocked feminine
energy.
Creativity is a crucial component of feminine energy, and when it
is obstructed, we can feel irritated and unsatisfied. The good news
is that there are simple actions you may take to re-energize your
creative energy and feel motivated once more (Emily, 2020).
Taking a break from your typical routine and exploring new things
is a simple step that opens you up to new possibilities and
experiences. Moreover, practices such as mediation and yoga can
help you relax and reconnect with your creative flow effectively.

2. Difficulty in self-expression
Another sign of constrained feminine energy is difficulty expressing
yourself. This might show up in a variety of ways. For example, you
may be trying to convey your emotions and are afraid to exhibit
your honesty.

35
Start journaling out your feelings and expressing how you're feeling
without judgment to unblock your feminine energy in this area.
Talking to a trustworthy friend, therapist, or life coach can also help
you create a safe space in which you can examine your feelings. You
could also express yourself-through creative activities like art or
joyful dance.

3. Feeling stuck
Experiencing a sensation of being trapped is a typical indication of
feminine energy being obstructed. If our energy is hindered, it can
create a sense of being stagnant in various aspects of our lives, such
as professional advancement, personal relationships, or self-
improvement.
To release the blockage in this aspect, consider establishing
achievable objectives and taking incremental measures towards
accomplishing them. Additionally, you may want to look for a guide
or mentor who can support you in recognizing and surmounting
any barriers that may be impeding your progress (Dennis, 2020).

4. Disconnected from your body

Is it challenging for you to embrace your physical appearance? Our
physical bodies are intimately linked to feminine energy, and when
there is a blockage, we may feel disjointed and unbalanced. For
example, when you look at yourself-in the mirror you would pick
on every single flaw. In reality, people and their bodies are filled
with flaws. We are not meant to be perfect, especially women! Your
body goes through so much every single month, so expecting it to
be in its best shape all the time seems unfair.

36
To remove this energy block, try activities that foster a connection
with your body and create a sense of groundedness. Physical
movement and meditation in natural surroundings can help you
connect with your body and promote self-acceptance. You can also
repeat positive affirmations to yourself-while looking in the mirror
or recording them in your journal.
Transform negative self-talk into self-acceptance and self-
compassion. This is a powerful technique to establish a stronger
connection with your physical body and cultivate self-love. Self-
love has the potential to change your mindset immediately. You will
not only feel beautiful but look wonderful as well.

5. Discomfort with receiving

Receiving, whether it be love, support, or abundance, is a
fundamental component of feminine energy. However, when our
energy is hindered, we find it difficult to receive. This might be
caused by emotions of unworthiness or inadequacy.
Begin practicing gratitude and acknowledging the abundance that
currently exists in your life to unleash your feminine energy. You
might also indulge in self-care activities like taking a relaxing bath
or getting a massage to help you connect with your feminine energy
and allow yourself-to receive. This is a crucial step because if you
want to connect with your dark feminine energy you will have to
first embrace it (Elisa, 2023).

6. Can’t set boundaries

Have you ever agreed to do something you didn't want to, or feel
like others regularly disregard your boundaries, and you don't know
how to stand up for yourself? These are common indications of

37
feminine energy blockage, which can cause feelings of frustration
and exhaustion (Faulkner, 2021).
To eliminate this blockage, begin practicing assertiveness in various
situations. It may feel awkward at first, but with time and practice,
it will become easier. As you become more confident in your ability
to assert yourself, you'll learn how to establish clear boundaries
without fearing that it will damage your relationships.

7. Difficulty in surrendering
It can be difficult to accept the gentler, more vulnerable qualities of
our feminine energy in a world that often encourages independence
and self-reliance.
When we feel the need to control every element of our lives, trust
and surrender can be difficult to practice. However, by freeing up
our energy in this area, we can feel more connected and at ease in
our relationships and in our daily lives (Elisa, 2023).
Allowing yourself-to let go of the impulse to control everything in
your life will help you overcome this indicator of blocked feminine
energy. Work on developing self-trust in yourself-and mastering
yourself-rather than external events that are out of your control.

How to connect with your feminine energy

The connection you will make with your dark feminine energy will
enable you to make good decisions, create strict boundaries and
maintain healthy relationships with the people you love. It is
important for women to ensure that they keep a balance between
their feminine and masculine energy, in order to achieve their

38
greatest potential. Here are ways you could employ to connect with
your feminine energy:

1. Develop your intuition

The first step towards embracing your feminine side is to develop
your intuition. Your intuition is housed in your body rather than
your intellect. It is when your instincts or feelings guide your
decisions. It is a knowing, a sense that is calmer and quieter than
the brain. You can become more perceptive in a variety of ways. To
begin, ask your intuition simple questions such as "What should I
eat for dinner?" or "Should I wear the black dress or white one?"
Then, using Tarot or intention cards, you can practice intuition
(Elisa, 2023). These divination activities are quite beneficial because
they rely heavily on your intuition. Meditation is an excellent
conscious exercise for developing intuition since it enables you to
calm your thoughts.

2. Feel your feelings

The second method to tap into your feminine energy is by
experiencing your emotions. Whenever a feeling arises, positive or
negative, it's essential to allow yourself-to feel it without attempting
to rationalize it. This approach helps you to connect with yourself-
and overcome your emotions (Dennis, 2020). Journaling is an
effective way to process and become aware of your emotions. It is
important to be specific and detailed when writing about your
emotions instead of simply stating them, for instance, rather than
just writing "I am sad," try to describe the feeling as accurately as
possible.

39
3. Rest and recharge
The next tip is definitely something I had to learn the hard way. If
you didn't already know, I suffer from anxiety, and it prevents me
from sleeping. It compels me to be creative and to work constantly.
Instead of learning to rest, I overworked and exhausted myself-to
the point where I forgot about my worry. But it also made me
physically weary, irritable all the time, and miserable. Resting, in
general, refreshes us in numerous ways and is just as necessary as
the action phase of our day (Dennis, 2020). It allows us to repair
and recover more efficiently, improves brain function, stabilizes our
mood, and recharges our body. There are many ways you can rest
and recharge, you can either read, take a walk, do breathing
exercises, work out, journal, or meditate. At that moment, I also like
to keep my free time away from my phone because being on social
media is very draining overall.

4. Reflect on yourself
Another way to connect to your feminine energy is to reflect on
yourself. Femininity embraces change, improvement, and being
closer to your inner self. By reflecting on who you are, through
journaling, for example, you explore and examine your inner being
and allow yourself-to grow (Dennis, 2020).

5. Indulge into your creative side

Your female energy craves creativity and there are so many ways
you can tap into this creative side of yours. Such as dancing,
painting, or pottery (Dennis, 2020). Any form of expression and art
can help you become more creative as a person and can stimulate
your mind. Personally, I love to take a break from work to paint or

40
write. It’s this little moment that I dedicate to myself-and that
motivates me during the day.

6. Honor your body

The sixth way to embrace your femininity is to honor your body
internally and externally. Move your body, nourish it with water
and good food, nurture it, take care of it, listen to it, and most
importantly, as a person who bleeds, honor your natural cycle
(Dennis, 2020). Your body does so much to keep you healthy and
alive, it’s hence crucial for you to see it as a temple that you honor
and embrace. This way of thinking also helps to love oneself-more
and accept one’s body for how it is!

7. Try cycle syncing

This last tip to connect to your female energy is more for the people
who bleed every month but you can definitely apply it by following
the phases of the moon if you don’t. Cycle syncing is the idea of
working, moving, and eating to support your natural menstrual
cycle (Dennis, 2020). This method allows you to be more in tune
with your body, balance your hormones, have less painful cramps,
and have a more scheduled time of the month. I personally love
following that cycle because of all of these benefits, but also because
I want to have a more positive view of my menstrual cycle (Elisa,
2023). In my entourage, everyone always saw the menstrual cycle as
something negative and painful. But I want to change my own
perspective and see it as a wonderful time to celebrate my
womanhood.

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8. Cultivate a sacred space
Find a place in your home where you can set a meditation pillow
and create a little altar, even if that’s just a candle, a crystal, or a
flower. Something super simple. I’m constantly on the road, so I
have a little travel altar kit that I bring with me that immediately
grounds me into a space.

9. Experiment with practices and techniques

As discussed previously, journaling is powerful. Just do a big brain
dump, write about everything that you are thinking. Get all of your
ideas and fears and crazy thoughts out of your mind and onto paper.
Let yourself-feel emptied out. I prefer to sit with a cup of coffee, out
on my terrace. You can use whatever beverage works for you,
mostly people prefer teas since they are an incredible ally for
awakening the spirit, grounding the body, and coming home to
yourself. Drinking some tea helps soften us and opens us up to the
day.

10. Meditation and breathwork can be life-changing.

If you’re just starting out, start small. It could be five or ten minutes
a day. If you’re like, “I’m going to meditate for thirty minutes every
single day for three months,” you’ll likely go a couple of days and
then fall off. You’ll be like, “That was stupid. I don’t like meditation.
Breathwork doesn’t work.” (Bitanga & Chan, 2021) You’ll lose
momentum and end up pooh-poohing it. And then you’ve lost a
treasure.
If you are someone who doesn't spend much time in the ethereal
realm, having a more practical embodiment practice, like dancing

42
or yoga or running—something that really grounds you in the
body—may be a better fit for you (Bitanga & Chan, 2021).

11. Allow yourself-space to explore.

Start your morning practice with five or ten minutes a day for one
week. Do it with someone else—an accountability partner. Text
each other after you’ve done your practice. See how you feel after a
week or two weeks or a month. If your practice is not working for
you after your set period of time, change it up.
I believe in the power of magnetism. We attract other things and
other beings that are vibrating at the same frequency as ourselves.
If you’re deepening your relationship with the sacred feminine, you
may start meeting more women who are on that path as well, who
completely own their feminine power and redefine what that even
means (Bitanga & Chan, 2021). Women who are deeply connected
to the earth and to nature and in sync with the rhythms of this
planet. And women who are paving their own path and not the one
that was laid out or expected of them (Bitanga & Chan, 2021). Our
power gets stronger when we expand our range of masculine and
feminine energies and our capacity to create from our hearts.
If we’re created from ego, driven by competition and money, we
lose the harmonious balance with the planet. But if we are able to
rise in our own sacred feminine power and create our world from a
place of love and service—can you imagine? (Bitanga & Chan, 2021)

Think About It
As you embrace your dark feminine energy, it’s important for you
to find ways to reconnect with it as well. We all have a feminine

43
energy looming inside of us but sometimes we are too afraid to
confront it or too oblivious of it. Either way, it’s important to
connect with the dark feminine energy if you want to regain your
self-confidence and embark on your journey to become a self-
sufficient woman. Yet again, the foundation of every strong woman
is one and do you know what it is? To find out, move to the next
chapter!

44
RECLAIMING YOUR
FEMININE POWER

45
 CHAPTER 4
THE POWER OF CONFIDENCE
“Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend
on someone to tell you who you are.”
-Beyoncé

Confidence is one of the pillars that reinforces a woman’s presence

in a crowd. Let’s open the Pandora box that contains the power of
confidence. As an integral part of human notion, confidence is
associated with positivity and strength. Even though you have
explored dark goddesses in the last chapters, I want you to take a
moment and divert your attention toward Athena.
You must be familiar with her courage and wisdom, it’s imminent
in Greek folklore and songs. She is sculpted with a helmet, known
for her might and resilience Athen is a symbol of confidence and
courage. Now, before you further explore this pillar (i.e. confidence)
I want to debunk some things.
Our society as a whole is rigid and inflexible with women. While
that might come to you as a blunt statement, It has some level of
truth to it. Setting aside the energies that are roaming within us, it’s
plausible to think that women have to play different roles and adjust
to different wavelengths thrown by society at them to survive; all
while their male counterparts have an easier way out. For example,

46
in a workplace women are often regarded as problematic if they are
assertive. There is a whole new language set aside for women,
specifically when it comes to confident women. Have you ever
found yourself-surrounded by people who would constantly take
jabs at you for being vocal? ‘You are too inflexible’ but you were
being assertive; ‘You are so emotional, I don’t think you can handle
this.’ Comments like these add fuel to the fire that has been erupting
inside of you for ages, I know. Benevolent sexism spreads like a
disease, infecting your feminine energy. So what do you do in that
case? This is exactly why your dark feminine energy exists. It
protects you from harmful experiences. Besides, confident women
are either feared by people or loved by them, so whichever way you
choose, it’ll work out in your favor.
Circling back to Athena, what are her most famous characteristics?
Athena is confident, practical, clever, a master of disguises, and a
great warrior. Do these characteristics sound familiar? She is
confident and clever— something women of modern times are
eagerly becoming. They are shunning their drowsy coats of despair
that were gifted to them by the society, instead women now walk
with high heels and red lipsticks exuding a sense of pride and
confidence (Gerdeman, 2019). Even though society furrows it’s
twitching eyebrows every time they see a woman being confident,
these ladies know their worth. But this might make you wonder,
why is society so averse to women and their confidence?
Let me rephrase this question for you— why are people intimidated
by confident women? Well, it’s obvious isn’t it, you as a woman
have been trained since you were a young girl to be shy and timid,
anything slightly bold would immediately get you in the bad books
of your peers and teachers, this is the story of several teenage girls.

47
But, it’s a persistent idea that creeps into your social and
professional life right? (Gerdeman, 2019)
‘You are so bold’ Have you ever heard a comment like that?
Sometimes it’s a compliment and other times, it’s a reminder of
your indifference and difficult nature, either way it never sits right
with women who aim to be leaders and choose to be independent.
Being bold has nothing to do with having a career, even women that
are home makers are often shut down for being too bold but they
are merely opinionated. It is a consistent struggle that has formed a
part of women since ages. But unfortunately, there are different
levels of confidence that are accepted by society when it comes to
women and men.
Women who are assertive with a high emotional quotient have the
ability to lead in life. It is all about believing in your skills and
working hard. The game is rigged against women, it has been since
day one therefore, finding loopholes to adjust and fight for what you
think is right can make you successful and happier. Having self-
confidence ensures that you are not taken for granted amongst your
peers and friends (Allen, 2018). It also equips women with the tools
to be independent and self-sufficient, they do not have to rely on
others for their happiness. So, are you ready to reclaim your
confidence?

Characteristics Of A Confident Woman

There’s no denying a confident woman. They appear to have it all
together, remain calm under pressure and most importantly know
their self-worth and value. Here are 7 common traits I found that
all confident women exude:

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1. They focus on their strengths.
Confident women, like everyone else, are aware of their weaknesses
and actively work to improve them while still valuing their
strengths that have brought them this far. They know that their
strengths are an integral part of their life (Miller, 2016).

2. They don't engage in gossip.

Women who are confident talk about themselves instead of other
women's objectives, ambitions, and aspirations (Esperas, 2022).
They understand how crucial it is to maintain objectivity. Besides,
tearing down other people gets no one anywhere. However, if you
focus on yourself-and improve your strengths you are more likely
to regain your confidence.

3. They honor their self-care.

Confident women are aware that in order to perform and be at their
best, they must look after themselves. They place a high priority on
having a healthy work-life balance (Esperas, 2022), which includes
getting adequate sleep, eating well, and being compensated for their
efforts.

4. They aren't afraid of their purpose.

The rules have changed significantly and history has paved the way
for today's women to define their own purpose. She is fearless and
passionate in her life's pursuits and is proud to share it with others
(Miller, 2016).

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5. They don't buy into society's idea of the perfect woman.
A self-assured woman defines the "ideal woman" as someone who
recognizes both her strengths and weaknesses, and wholeheartedly
accepts herself-as she is (Miller, 2016). She understands that she is
under no obligation to enhance or alter any aspect of herself-unless
she personally decides to do so (Esperas, 2022).

6. They understand there is power in saying no.

Self-assured women prioritize their commitments and avoid
making unrealistic promises. They confidently decline when
necessary because they recognize their own value and worth
(Esperas, 2022). They choose to engage in activities that align with
their beliefs, passions, and interests, ensuring they give their best to
what matters most to them.

7. They know when to ask for help.

Critical to success, these women know trying to accomplish
everything alone is an impossible feat. Confident women don't feel
threatened or belittled by seeking help from others (Esperas, 2022).
Just like a CEO has an entire team to assist with their daily
functions, confident women have a support group ready to go
(Miller, 2016).
With that being said, confident women are often known for their
resilience and sense of self, but what if you feel like a fraud amongst
people?

The Imposter Syndrome

In a recent study by Pauline Claunce and Suzanne Imes, they
highlighted the challenge of female confidence that is also referred

50
to as the "imposter syndrome". Women often feel they don't deserve
their job and fear being exposed as "imposters." (Bennett & Davis,
2020)They tend to worry more about being disliked, looking
unattractive, outshining others, or drawing too much attention.
Although men also have self-doubt, they tend to push through it
more often than women. According to an internal report from
Hewlett Packard, men will apply for a job or promotion if they meet
60% of the qualifications, while women will only apply if they meet
all 100% (Bennett & Davis, 2020). This decision not to try, rather
than their ability, holds women back.
Research from Zenger Folkman shows that as women gain more
experience over time, their confidence also increases (Gerdeman,
2019). However, it is essential to consider how much potential is
lost during the early years due to fear and lack of confidence. So,
don’t be afraid. It’s true that you wear an invisible crown, don’t let
it fall.
Did you know that the animosity between men and women leaders
in a corporate culture is an actual thing? In fact, the corporate
culture, along with society, finds new ways to chain women to a low
level of confidence. But, there are so many other reasons why
women are stuck in a loop of self-disdain.
Let's dive into the whole context of why women struggle with lower
self-confidence. To begin with, I want you to understand the
concept of imposter syndrome. What is it? Imposter syndrome
refers to the psychological pattern where individuals doubt their
accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as
frauds, despite evidence that indicates otherwise. This phenomenon

51
often affects high-achieving individuals and can cause significant
distress in personal and professional settings.
It is essential to recognize the signs of imposter syndrome and seek
support from mental health professionals if necessary, as it can have
a negative impact on one's self-esteem, relationships, and career
progression.

Causes Of Imposter Syndrome

What are some causes of Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome affects a large percentage of adults who come
from families that value accomplishment and performance. You
might feel more like an imposter later in life if your parents
alternated between overpraising and criticizing you as a child. The
demands of society to succeed can also play a role. It's simple to
gauge your self-worth primarily based on your accomplishments.
Do you have imposter syndrome? What are some signs that you feel
like an imposter?

You may have imposter syndrome if you:

Believe that you've fooled others into thinking you're more

skilled than you are
Credit your successes to luck, charm, networking, others'
misjudgment, or other things besides your abilities.
Notice "The Imposter Cycle." This happens when you start a
task with intense over-preparation or procrastination followed
by frantic planning. When you finish the task successfully, you
feel accomplished and relieved. This cycle starts over when a

52
 new task comes along and again triggers feelings of anxiety and
doubt.

Now that you understand what imposter syndrome generally

means, let's explore what imposter syndrome entails.
When women suffer from the belief that they will never be good
enough, it’s highly likely that they suffer from the imposter
syndrome. Feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, perfectionism, and
unworthiness can all take the form of this notion. This kind of
thinking harms a person psychologically and adversely affects their
daily life and that of their loved ones. The effects of imposter
syndrome can be detrimental to a woman's daily life and her
connections with her family as well as herself. Having a persistent
and overpowering sensation of inferiority can be crippling, if
ignored.

How does it affect women?

Here are some ways the imposter syndrome affects women:

Everyday Life
An imposter syndrome-affected woman could miss out on life's
pleasures. She might, for instance, steer clear of social gatherings or
outings because she fears other people's opinions. She can start
isolating herself-if she feels unworthy of sympathy or compassion.
She may always strive for perfection out of a sense of shame that
other moms are better at performing the task of mothering.

Relationships
Imposter syndrome frequently has a detrimental impact on a
couple's relationship. Intense jealousy or an anxious/fearful

53
attachment style are occasional signs of a woman's uneasiness.
Women who suffer from this syndrome may continuously look to
their partners for approval, which can cause frustration and
instability.
Imposter syndrome can make mothers feel as though they are
carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders and that nothing
they do is ever good enough. Imposter syndrome, which adds fuel
to the fire of self-doubt, may seem insurmountable to overcome, yet
there are ways to go.

Vicious Guilt Cycle

In times when you experience lower self-confidence, it is often tied
to guilt and self-doubt. The phenomenon of guilt trip profoundly
impacts women because they constantly strive to balance their
professional and personal responsibilities. This often results in the
sense of guilt, as they are unable to devote as much time and
attention to their family as they would like. This can lead to stress,
anxiety, and even depression for working mothers. Moreover, this
guilt can potentially affect job performance and overall well-being,
making it essential for both employers and families to support these
women in their dual responsibilities. Sounds familiar? It is tiring to
keep everything in a singular pace.

So what can you do for yourself?

You already know that one way of regaining your confidence is by
reconnecting with your dark feminine energy. But, it’s equally
crucial for you to have open communications between you and the
people around you. This enables you to assert healthy boundaries
and rid yourself-of people who hold you down. One of the major

54
reasons why women struggle with low self-confidence is the
constant criticism they face from people around them (Jack, 2018).
Have you ever had a friend that subtlety made you feel insecure
about your work life or body? Comments like ‘aw you’ve gotten
chubby..’ or ‘I can’t imagine working this much..’ it’s almost like
they are taunting you but not really, it could easily be passed as an
innocent compliment or a joke. But, it boils your blood. Most
importantly, they can get under your skin. This is why it’s
important to always channel your dark feminine energy, assert
strict boundaries and have the confidence to be comfortable under
your skin. All of these factors work together in building a resilient
personality that is not only strong but nurtures benevolence.

Imposter Syndrome In It’s Pinnacle

Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which people
question their accomplishments despite proof of their
achievements and harbor a continuous fear of being exposed as a
fraud. Working moms who feel that they are not living up to the
expectations of their family, their job or society may experience this
sensation in particular intensity.
As a woman you might believe that you can't give your family and
job your 100% and it’s possible that some days it might make you
feel inadequate and self-conscious (Jack, 2018). You often find
yourself-believing that you fall short of the standards set by your
male coworkers, clients, or superiors. All of this triggers your inner
critic that constantly bashes you for being inconsistent with
yourself-and values.

55
Women fall into the self-doubt trap when they begin to think that
they are not competent or deserving of success, which causes them
to lack confidence and be reluctant to take on new tasks or
possibilities. This can result in a loop of lost opportunities and
missed possibilities for development, which feeds self-doubt and
the imposter syndrome.

Why Does It Happen?

Your feminine energy is often at war with the imposter syndrome
because it constantly unleashes thoughts of self-doubt in your
mind. But, there is something so much bigger we women have to
face other than our inner critic and that is the social critic board.
Ironically, it’s orthodox and conservative, but that’s a different
story.
Our society has persistent societal and cultural biases against
women in the workplace, and even at home, for example women
have historically been underrepresented in leadership roles. Why?
Because they are labeled as ‘too emotional’. Yet, time and time again
women have proven that they can lead better than men (Anne,
2021).
In a basket of 600 European stocks, companies with more female
leadership saw their share price outperform on average by 2.5% a
year compared with companies with less women leaders (Emily,
2020). Sadly, the corporate culture and society at large is just not
ready to accept that women can perform better in leadership roles
compared to their male counterparts.
I know, it is demotivating. In fact, it can lead to feelings of exclusion,
a lack of true belonging, or unsuitability for a particular position.

56
But, in a positive light it shows that we as women can wield infinite
power. Imagine what we can do if we master our dark energy? The
power and resilience that we will possess?
Now, obviously, as a woman you will once in a while have to dive
into the discussion of motherhood. It can be complicated and
burdensome for working mothers to juggle various responsibilities,
including being a parent, a partner, and a professional. This can
result in a feeling that you can't give your all in any one role, which
can feed the imposter mentality and self-doubt. But, as a dark
goddess your innate nature is to reproduce and welcome the
blessing of nature. While many see childbirth as a message to slow
down, how about we shift the narrative?
You might struggle with the perception that a "good mother" is
constantly present for her children can be reinforced by cultural
messaging about motherhood, which may make working mothers
feel guilty or ashamed about not living up to this ideal.
As a woman, you are under no obligation to live according to
societal norms. While having children and growing a family is a
beautiful life, staying single and focusing on your career shows you
are passionate about your dreams. And if you decide to do both, you
are already a superhero.
It’s about time women stop patronizing their sense of strength.
Your lack of confidence in yourself-amputates your growth. In a
high-performing job, which may be quite competitive and
demanding, you might feel the pressure to constantly one up
yourself. This may lead to feelings of imposter syndrome and self-
doubt, a fear of failure, and a perception that one is not living up to
standards. Ultimately, the imposter syndrome and self-doubt trap

57
faced by women is a complicated problem that results from a
confluence of societal, cultural, and individual variables. I know
that you feel alone in your head right now, I did too. I just want you
to know that you are not alone.
When you are trapped in the vicious cycle of self-doubt it’s easy to
think that you are alone– but it’s not true. Surprisingly, the most
famous and successful women suffer from the notoriety of the
imposter syndrome. The unsettling feeling that you do not belong
is far more shared with your peers than you think. Here are a few
former imposters in their own words:
Tina Fey: “The beauty of the impostor syndrome is you vacillate
between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of: ‘I’m a fraud!
Oh God, they’re onto me! I’m a fraud!’”
Maya Angelou: The prizewinning author once said, after publishing
her 11th book, that every time she wrote another one she’d think to
herself: “Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on
everybody.”
Michelle Obama: The former first lady has spoken and written
about how, as a young woman, she used to lie awake at night asking
herself: Am I too loud? Too much? Dreaming too big? “Eventually,
I just got tired of always worrying what everyone else thought of
me,” she said. “So I decided not to listen”
These women are known for their strength and yet behind closed
doors they felt alone. In moments when you feel alone, remember
to be kind to yourself. It might get difficult and even at days you
would be too cranky to even say a good thing about yourself, but
remind yourself-about the struggles your mind endured and the
storm your body survived.

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Reframe Negative Thoughts
It's critical for you to confront your negative thoughts and beliefs,
reconnect with your feminine energy and redirect your attention to
your accomplishments and abilities. So, before we dive into ways
you can alleviate your self-confidence, I want to take a moment to
discuss how you can deal with imposter syndrome. Here are 5 ways
you can deal with your cycle of self-doubt:

Talk to a colleague or friend.

You would feel much more comfortable talking to a friend about
how life has been steering you in 70 different directions everyday.
How it’s unbearable to wake up and not recognise the person
staring right back at you when you see yourself-in the mirror. It’s
important for you to relate to people, for example Does she also
experience feelings of being an impostor? So, when you recognize
that others also feel this way can normalize the experience, making
it a common phenomenon rather than something special that only
happens to you. If you start to hear that voice of doubt in your mind,
remind yourself-that it's not you, but rather the impostor syndrome
speaking.

Unsubscribe from doubt.

Now, I know this is easier said than done but, in his book “Originals:
How Non-Conformists Move the World,” Adam Grant, a professor
of management and psychology at the Wharton School at the
University of Pennsylvania, describes two kinds of doubt: self-
doubt, which causes you to freeze up, and idea doubt, which can
motivate people to refine, test or experiment with a good idea (Legg,
2016).

59
So, which one are you betting for?
The good thing about channeling your inner goddess is that you will
always find yourself-trying to turn your self-doubt into idea doubt
by telling yourself: ‘It’s not that I’m bad, it’s that the first few drafts
of any idea are always bad — and I’m just not there yet.’ This type
of positive self-talk not only reaffirms your optimistic views about
yourself-but also regulates your creative flow.

Decide to be confident.
Remember when we talked about embracing your dark goddess
before learning how to connect and channel her? The idea is similar
to that, you have to make the choice to be confident. Volunteer your
expertise, don’t be afraid to give your opinion and slowly you’ll find
yourself-leading the room you are present in. When you start
spiraling into self-doubt, force yourself-to write down three things
you've done well. (If three isn’t enough to ease your doubts, write
three more.) And actually hand-write them. A 2014 study shows
that people remember things better when they've written rather
than typed them (Mueller, 2014). In fact, journaling your thoughts
also helps you regulate your emotions and gives you a clear space to
work on yourself.

Remind yourself-you’re good at what you do.

I keep a folder named "fun/nice" in my inbox, which contains all the
positive feedback I've received throughout the years. Whenever I
need a quick confidence boost, I refer back to it to remind myself-
of my worth. Data scientist, Jessica Kirkpatrick, based in Berkeley,
Calif., shared with me a technique she uses called the "rubber band
trick." (Legg, 2016) By wearing a rubber band on her wrist and

60
snapping it each time she has self-doubting thoughts, she
conditions her brain to associate those thoughts with the unpleasant
sensation of the snap. This technique works on the principle of
classical conditioning, much like Pavlov's dogs, and eventually
helps to eliminate negative thoughts(Legg, 2016).
It’s important to remember that failure doesn’t make you a fraud.
Even the best athletes screw up, the best lawyers lose cases, the best
actors star in busts. Failing, losing and being wrong on occasion are
all part of the job. Don’t let it define you. Learn from your mistakes
and move forward.

Constructing Confidence
self-confidence is a tool that can help you excel in life in numerous
ways. When you channel your dark feminine energy, not only will
you be assertive by setting boundaries but you will have more belief
in the fact that you are capable of leading the world. However, I wish
there were definitive steps to build self-confidence and self-esteem,
but I don’t think they exist. However, there are a number of things
you can do that appear to be related to higher levels of confidence
and self-esteem (Cherry, 2023).

1. Mindset
It has been said that self-confidence is what you think about
yourself, and self-esteem is what you think others think of you.
Your mindset and the thoughts that linger within your brain has a
direct effect on how you feel about yourself.

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In order to build self-confidence again:
Focusing on your talents and accomplishments rather than what
you don't perform well can effectively weed out the self-doubt from
your life. Plus, avoid negative self-talk at all costs since it hinders
your growth. Channel optimism and general happiness (Cherry,
2023). They bring life and vitality into conversations. Your outward
behavior changes your inner feelings. People are attracted to those
who are perceived as “warm” and shy away from those who are
perceived as “cold.” I know this might be a conflicting thought to
deal with but essentially, when you channel your dark feminine
energy you do not turn cold and distant, instead you balance your
warmth with self-confidence. You are kind but also strict when it
comes to your personal boundaries. The self-confident person is
usually described as being warm and welcoming while an insecure
person is rude.

2. Dress and grooming

These are immediate and tangible signals to others about how you
feel about yourself. While we will explore these in detail later, it
deserves an honorary mention in this list of strategies. Mainly when
you look good, you feel good (Legg, 2016). Beyond that, they have
been shown to make a difference in how someone feels about
themselves. Bottom line, people feel more confident when they
know they look nice. It’s interconnected to how you perceive
yourself-(Cherry, 2023).

3. Posture
The way you carry yourself-can significantly affect your internal
state. Adopting a tall and strong posture can alter your inner

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emotions, as studies have demonstrated. Additionally, maintaining
eye contact when engaging with others can demonstrate your
confidence and interest in them. It's crucial to align your facial
expressions with your verbal communication, as nonverbal cues
like facial expressions convey a significant amount of information,
accounting for at least 80% of communication (Cherry, 2023). Your
confidence is directly proportional to how you want people to
perceive you. People who are not confident about their bodies often
slouch to hide their imperfection. So, find things that look flattering
on you and rock them!

4. Overall manner
How you behave will transmit a feeling of confidence to others.
So, how do confident people behave?

Well, confident people:

Walk briskly, conveying that they have somewhere important to go
and something important to do. For example, in a meeting when
you are assertive, forming full commendations over your thoughts
and ideas, it is often well received by the executives or clients that
you are addressing. Laugh with others and make them laugh too
(Cherry, 2023). It’s all about having fun. This does not necessarily
come from telling jokes, but usually comes from pleasant banter
regarding topics of mutual interest.
Plus, when you speak up in meetings or have conversations with
peers and don’t sit quietly through discussions you are perceived as
someone who brings a valuable addition to the corporate table.
Interact with many people when put into a large gathering rather
than confining themselves to long conversations with two or three

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for an entire evening. Develop contact with people rather than
waiting for others to come to them. Confident people reach out to
a considerably bigger number of people than less confident people.

5. Speech
What you say and how you say it transmits a great deal about your
level of confidence. It also shapes how you feel about yourself.

Therefore, confident people:

Project their voice, making them easily heard and understood. Vary
the pitch and tone of their voice. They make their conversation
interesting by avoiding monotones and injecting variety. Pause for
emphasis—they are not afraid of moments of silence (Cherry,
2023). Not filling every pause further conveys personal feelings of
self-worth and confidence. Sometimes these pauses are used to
gather time to think, take a deep breath, or refocus a discussion
(Cherry, 2023). Use a rich vocabulary, enabling them to be vivid and
pre They continue to develop a strong vocabulary, not to impress,
but to help ideas come to life. Colorful, visceral words make their
communication memorable. They avoid “non-words,” such as “er,”
“umm,” and filler-phrases such as “you know."

6. Communication practices
Confident individuals use communication techniques that not only
convey certainty but also inspire confidence in others. One of these
techniques is asking questions frequently, which indicates a deep
interest in what others are saying and doing. They also use
metaphors, examples, and stories to illustrate their points, making
abstract concepts more tangible and accessible.

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Humor is another tool they employ to emphasize important ideas,
often through self-deprecating jokes that demonstrate a level of self-
assurance and humility. Confident people are also respectful of
others' opinions and avoid unnecessary confrontation (Cherry,
2023). Even when their ideas differ from others, they express
themselves in a non-threatening manner, using phrases like "I see
this a little differently" or "Can you help me understand your
reasons for thinking that way?" (Cherry, 2023) This approach
fosters an open and collaborative environment, where diverse
perspectives can be shared and appreciated (Esperas, 2022).
Nevertheless, confident individuals use effective communication
practices that demonstrate their certainty and inspire confidence in
others. They are skilled in asking questions, using illustrations, and
humor, and express their ideas respectfully to foster collaboration
and understanding.

Positive self-Talk
While on the topic of communication, I want to further expound
the issue of self-talk. Now, when you begin to explore your feminine
energy, since it shines from within you need to be able to reframe
your thoughts. That means, a dark feminine goddess never assumes
that she is lesser than the people surrounding her.
What does a positive self-talk entail?

Positive self-talk is encouraging and reassuring. Consider the

two inner assertions below:
"I'm going to speak up today in the meeting because I have
something important to contribute." This appears to be a positive
plan and attitude (Murphy, 2021).

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"I don't think I want to speak up in today's meeting because I'll look
foolish if I say the wrong thing." Contrast this unfavorable comment
with the preceding statement.
Have you ever noticed yourself-crying or feeling angry after
negative thoughts are surfacing in your mind? Have you also been
aware that nothing wrong is happening at that moment other than
a running wild mind? (Esperas, 2022)
Positive self-talk can assist you in focusing on the positive aspects
of yourself. A simple type of self-love can begin with admiring and
motivating yourself. You can achieve this self-love by starting to say
nice things to yourself-and substituting negative sentences with
positive ones, such as "why am I not good enough?" Positive self-
talk examples include "I will," "I am strong," "I will work hard and
never give up," and other encouraging phrases. Surprisingly, the
biggest advantage of positive self-talk is increased self-confidence
(Warrell, 2018). Adopting a positive mindset can significantly boost
self-confidence, increasing the likelihood of achieving personal
goals. Research suggests that optimistic individuals enjoy numerous
benefits, such as higher chances of promotion, electoral success,
and even longevity. They are also better equipped to navigate
difficult life experiences (Warrell, 2018).
Engaging in positive self-talk is a powerful way to build confidence.
Self-assurance plays a crucial role in determining one's success in
both personal and professional domains. It's a self-fulfilling
prophecy - the more you believe in yourself, the more likely you are
to take action that leads to positive outcomes (Warrell, 2018). To
foster a positive outlook, try reciting affirmations in front of a

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mirror every morning. This practice can help you set a positive tone
for the day and increase your confidence.
Therefore cultivating a positive mindset is key to building self-
confidence and achieving personal success. Optimism can have far-
reaching benefits, and positive self-talk is a practical tool to enhance
confidence levels. By believing in yourself-and reciting
affirmations, you can set yourself-up for success and lead a fulfilling
life (Warrell, 2018).

How to incorporate positive self-talk

The inner dialogue in the form of positive self-talk must be
practiced in everyday life. How you perceive yourself-when you are
alone is often depicted by your thoughts and actions when you are
surrounded by people. Therefore indulging in a positive self-talk
session can help you re-define your thoughts. To make it happen,
here are several ways you can use:

1. Put off all forms of negativity

The inception of feelings is often preceded by thoughts. Repeatedly
entertaining certain thoughts leads to the formation of beliefs,
which in turn shape one's personality. When negative self-talk
dominates your thoughts, it can gain control over your actions and
emotions (Murphy, 2021).
To counteract this, it's crucial to periodically monitor your
thoughts. Analyze the attitudes and beliefs that arise from them in
response to life events, and intentionally select positive ones to
focus on. By deliberately shedding negative thought patterns, it
becomes easier to cultivate a positive mindset.

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2. Associate yourself-with positive people
It is true that if you hang around with a perfume salesperson, you
will smell good as well. Similarly, if you're used to hanging out with
positive people who think positively, your positive self-talk will be
validated even more (Murphy, 2021). Creating boundaries with
persons who have bad attitudes will therefore help you have happier
days.

3. Be grateful
According to one study, expressions of appreciation play an
important impact in boosting one's overall well-being. Because
appreciation allows a person to disregard bad feelings or thoughts
while still respecting themselves. As a result, from now on, strive to
discover something to be grateful for every day. These things will
serve as reminders of how valuable you are (Murphy, 2021). Change
brain function in a positive way as a result. It’s important for you to
have empathy when you are working with people or being
surrounded by them. People are known for their kindness, so be
kind once in a while.

4. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones

When you catch yourself-thinking negatively, try to reframe the
thought in a positive light. For instance, if your inner voice says,
"I'm never going to get promoted" or "I'm always running late,"
recognize these as negative and unhelpful, and replace them with
more positive messages (Murphy, 2021).
To help reframe your thoughts, try using more gentle language
when describing yourself-or situations. For example, instead of
saying, "I don't want to be late," say, "I prefer to be on time." Avoid

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using self-limiting statements like "I can't win this case" or "I can't
sell to this customer," as these only increase stress and prevent you
from seeking solutions (Murphy, 2021).
Another technique is to replace negative thoughts with questions.
This helps to shift your mindset towards finding solutions rather
than dwelling on the problem. Ask yourself, "What can I do to win
this client?" or "How can I succeed in this case?" This approach gives
you a sense of control and empowers you to find opportunities to
improve the situation.

5. Find the things that make you happy when you fail
When things don’t go the way you expect, always try to find positive
things that you can feel. For example, as a writer, we often
experience rejection of works. Look at this as a way to motivate
yourself-to improve the quality of your writing. Turn every
challenge into an opportunity. That way, you will have better
confidence in facing other challenges in life.

6. Always do positive affirmations

The way to strengthen positive self-talk in your mind is to give
positive affirmations. Sometimes, this can be triggered by looking
at inspiring words or images. Just put this positive affirmation
source in a frequently visited place such as your room, desk, or
notebook on your cell phone. That way, you will be helped in
forming a positive mindset daily.
In order to fully understand your potential as a woman, it is
essential to acknowledge and embrace your dark feminine side.
This may mean letting go of societal expectations and norms and

69
embracing the parts of yourself-that have been repressed or
suppressed (Murphy, 2021).
Having a healthy mindset and taking care of yourself-will enable
you to acquire balance in your life. You will have a cushion to fall
back on, besides who doesn’t like a calm space where they are far
away from negativity. Surprisingly, your dark feminine energy gives
you control and autonomy to channel positivity in your life. In fact,
there are some unique ways your dark feminine energy impacts
your self-confidence.
Positive self-talk can have a good effect on mental and physical
health and improve your quality of life. Remember, though, that
this behavior requires repetition and consistency.
Asking for support from psychologists and psychiatrists is not a
sign of weakness if you are struggling to put this into practice and
are still plagued by unfavorable thoughts. You can then receive the
appropriate care to get over it. In fact, you know what might help
you the most? Again balancing your energies, shifting them
appropriately can help your journey towards positivity. You can
unlock several important elements through the lens of dark
feminine energy if you look closely
For instance, a dark goddess is known for the autonomy she wields.
Remember Kali? She had control over what she wanted and how
she wanted to do those things. When you unlock the essence of
autonomy, you readily acquire control over your reality and daily
activities. Naturally, you will continue to give of your time and
energy to others, but now you will be able to share yourself-with
greater wisdom about when, when, and how. By doing this, you'll
get fulfillment and prevent burnout. Additionally, it will also submit

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you to the realm of self-confidence where you will have the chance
to shine your strengths and be proud of them. Often due to the
pressure of society and the stereotypes that downplay the qualities
that women possess, we are so distracted by our flaws that we forget
to remind ourselves that our strengths are stronger than what we
consider a fault in ourselves.
Moreover, as you become more attuned to your creativity, you'll
have the power to shape and live out the reality you desire. Your
creativity will lead you to explore your true calling and make a
significant impact on the world. You will simultaneously regain
confidence in yourself-hence you will be able to perceive yourself-
differently.
At the end of the day, the way you perceive yourself-is important in
how you boost your confidence. The day you reconfigure your
mind frame you will automatically feel more confident in your body
and ideas.
Similarly, by activating the dark feminine within you, you'll realize
the significance and potency of your sensuality. Our sensuality is
the driving force behind our creativity, the quality of our
relationships, and our daily experiences. Sensuality represents a
feminine strength, and when a woman establishes a positive
connection with her sensuality, she gains a tremendous amount of
control over every aspect of her life. Lastly, when you embrace your
dark feminine energy, it gives a woman the will and the grit to take
chances that align with her intentions and desires. The more you do
something, the more confident you become in the doing of that
thing. This is how the dark feminine activates confidence within a
woman. With your sense of self, dark feminine energy and constant

71
support you will be able to reach unbelievable heights because every
woman is capable of great things.
Now, listen closely— there will be times when you will not be
praised for your strength and resilience.
Women that make it to the CEO positions are often cold-hearted,
do you know why?
Not to say that they lack empathy, but they are mostly hardened by
the difficulties of life. As a woman, your dark feminine energy
allows you to set boundaries and become assertive from the very
beginning of your journey.
Since you are now aware of how to reclaim your confidence, I have
something exciting in store for you. Noir feminism is not only
expressed through feelings and attitude, yes it is an energy that you
radiate but it is also something that is depicted in your beauty and
attire. Remember Jolie's bad girl days in the 1990s, or Demie's looks
in Euphoria or on her Instagram profile?
Green light to severe slick chignons, unruly tails, thick, wavy and
seductive hair, red and black nail polish, and enveloping fragrances
like Dior Hypnotic Poison that mixes vanilla, rose, almond, apricot,
sandalwood and many other complex notes are some of the most
prominent features of a dark goddess. These are all just mere notes
about how you can truly become a dark goddess that is magnetic
and seductive. So, if you are ready to explore how you can unlock
your dark goddess look, flip the page!

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 CHAPTER 5
CULTIVATE YOUR CHARISMA
“Charisma is the fragrance of the soul.”
― Toba Beta

As women of the 21st century, being charismatic is a plausible

element of our lives. During the early centuries, scholars and
academics often drew distinctions and comparisons between
charisma and the spirit. For example in a paper published by
Olabanjo termed ‘Catholic voyage’ he explored the affinity of
religion, spirit and charism, as separate elements and as
collaborative traits in a person. Truly, the spirit and charism are
linked.
Your dark feminine energy is proof that you are a charismatic
person, because whether you believe it or not, you are not just
assertive but equally empathic. Much like the dark goddesses, while
you are dominant, you are also nurturing. A day doesn’t go by when
you don’t want to do something good for your family and friends.
Unsurprisingly, you are a natural leader. By syncing your dark
feminine energy with your perception you will be able to cultivate a
charismatic element into your personality.

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Charismatic Element
So, what does the idea of charisma entail?
It's challenging to accomplish big life goals on your own, so having
more people on your side can ease your burdens and increase your
chances of success. It is advantageous to build your charm since it
can draw others to you and win their support for your objectives.
Additionally, charisma can aid in the development of long-lasting
connections since it makes others feel understood and gives them
the opportunity to assist you by becoming your supporters.
Improved connections can also increase our happiness and self-
assurance, enabling us to reach our potential and seize
opportunities (Burton, 2020). Instead of concentrating on the
differences between ourselves and others, it may be more
advantageous to celebrate our individuality and work on forging
connections with others.

How to become charismatic?

Charismatic individuals are often heard and their ideas are taken
seriously, which can lead to increased influence in both personal
and professional settings. While it may be desirable to be
recognized for the quality of one's ideas rather than one's charisma,
in reality, people tend to be swayed by the person presenting the
idea. It would be a shame for someone with valuable skills and
knowledge to not utilize them fully because they lack the confidence
to speak up.
Interestingly, people who are brave and take risks often make others
feel secure, and we tend to trust and follow those who embody the
traits we admire (Burton, 2020). Becoming a great leader may not

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be the goal, but developing the ability to persuade and gain support
for one's ideas can be beneficial in many areas of life. So, in order to
cultivate charisma in your life, it’s important for you to link your
feminine energy with your actions and perspectives. Become a
persuasive communicator, slow your speech and master the art of
flirting.

Charisma’s existence in religion

In the 19th century, the concept of charisma expanded to include a
variety of personalities who attracted popular attention, including
religious figures. This led to an increase in the radius of their appeal
and the contestation of their legitimacy. With increased literacy and
technological advancements such as the railway and telegraph lines,
religious charisma could be transmitted rapidly across distances.
This infrastructural expansion allowed many laywomen, who
experienced divine graces, to shift towards increased visibility and
mobility. Although historiography tends to speak of religious
phenomena and communities of believers in terms of survival on
the periphery of modern culture, the contributions to this issue
counter this argument and firmly situate such manifestations
within modern culture. Modern culture is rather more accepting of
charismatic women that are not only persuasive but also
welcoming. It is easier to decipher that women that have a hint of
dark feminine energy, have already mastered the essence of
assertiveness and persuasion. So, the odds are already in their favor.
The distinction between "modernity" and "tradition" in the 19th and
20th centuries is gendered, particularly when it comes to the
concept of charisma. This can be seen in the use of the term to

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describe men of note and the emphatic visible presence of
charismatic women in a public sphere considered to be the terrain
of men (Caballero, 2023). Women's bodies became the crucible of
debates on charismatic and religious authority in the public sphere,
and tensions persisted between "modernity" and "tradition" and the
infrastructures that functioned as the conduit between the two.
Eventually, the arbitrary notion of how charismatic women were
perceived changed.
The increased visibility of charismatic women meant that greater
attention was paid to their appearance. Women with religious
ambitions understood that they needed to be visible in the press and
the public sphere, and crafting a public persona was one way to
enhance their charismatic appeal. Female mystics in the 19th
century not only took advantage of existing and developing
infrastructures but also helped shape them. They printed their own
periodicals, created their own religious images, and praised their
graces through poems and songs. It is obvious that whether it is the
religious or public sphere, charisma has played as a teamplayer for
women. It not only gives women confidence, but also enables them
to take control of their situations (Charisma - Why It's Important
and Why We All Have More Than We Think, 2020).
Charismatic religious movements did not disappear with the onset
of new technologies. Women mystics adapted and became skilled
creators of headlines, using the limbs and nodes of modern society
to create new conduits for their religious charisma. However, this
brave new world transformed the nature of religious charisma itself,
as railways and newspapers mediated, translated, distorted, and
modified the significance of the phenomena, creating and directing

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expectations. Public opinion became an authority with the power to
make or break charismatics (Hultberg, 2015).
But, what traits does a charismatic person encompass?
Primarily, a charismatic personality can persuade others. This is
majorly because they come across as trustworthy, friendly, and fully
present. Sounds familiar right? Charismatic people demonstrate
warmth and competence by playing to their strengths in any social
situation. And yes, believe it or not, we all have strengths and
weaknesses but being charismatic is a choice! One of the best ways
to exude charisma is to throw in a little flirt whenever you are
conversing with someone.

Flirt & Flirt

While the practice of flirting is a common norm amongst people,
it’s truly magnificent how they miss the underlying communication
that goes within. When flirting people express their desires and
feelings to the opposite gender. It’s not only a way to have sex but
also a way to express and communicate femininity and masculine
desires. The idea of flirting is frowned upon in a conventional
society but as we progress, women are becoming increasingly aware
of their sensuality. Here are 9 ways you can subtly flirt with the man
you like and get away with it (use them wisely!):

1. Make Eye Contact

When you first spot a guy you're interested in, eye contact is a great
way to show your attraction, especially if you haven't spoken to him
yet. Take a moment to scan the room and when you lock eyes with

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him, hold the gaze for a bit and give a sweet smile before looking
away slowly.
If you don't get the desired response, don't be discouraged and try
again. However, make sure to check if he's in a relationship before
using this technique (Tete, 2022). If you already know the guy,
maintain eye contact when he talks to you to show that you're fully
engaged and interested (Hultberg, 2015).

2. Smile
For some reason, a lot of women believe that the ideal dating
strategy is to be as icy as an ice queen and to constantly play the
hard-to-get game. If you've been advised to do something, dismiss
that advice right away. A joyful, upbeat woman is much more
beautiful than one who is glum and negative (Hultberg, 2015).
Being upbeat, laughing, and generally smiling are all highly alluring.
Don't laugh uncontrollably at everything he says, though; that
would be kind of strange. Instead, show curiosity and enthusiasm.
When he narrates a story, pay attention to him and answer
appropriately. Being around a vibrant, kind person is rewarding
(Tete, 2022).

3. Use Body Language

Even if you haven’t had a chance to open your mouth, you can
express a great deal just through your body language. Eye contact
and smiling are also a part of this, but there are a couple of other
things you need to know. For example, don’t cross your arms (Tete,
2022). Crossing your arms makes you seem unapproachable and
closed off, which will scare the guy away. Some people may

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unconsciously do this when they are nervous, so make sure you
avoid doing it.
And yes, flip your hair. This is a very feminine act, and it will draw
attention to your beautiful mane. It is also a well-known flirty move.
If you flip your hair in front of a man, he will probably get it that
you are flirting with him (Tete, 2022). You can also play with your
jewelry. Playing with your necklace will draw attention to your
pretty neckline, which most guys find attractive in a woman.

4. Touch Him Playfully

A few "accidental," well-timed touches can change the game if the
man you're interested in is reluctant to advance to the next stage.
He will become more at ease around you and feel more intimate
with you as a result (Hultberg, 2015).
Make the touches subtle, though. When he makes a joke, you may
give him a little punch on the arm. Another smart move is to
tenderly touch his shoulder when he is at his weakest. You can
delicately touch anything he's wearing and tell him you enjoy it. A
goodbye embrace is also a sweet way to start a relationship (Tete,
2022).

5. Find Subtle Ways To Put Yourself-In His Path

If you are planning to flirt, you will need to be around the guy as
often as possible. Make an attempt to cross his path without being
too overt about it. Take your pet to the same park where he plays
football or try to avoid going past his desk whenever you can. But
don't go overboard, or he'll believe you're a stalker.

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6. Be Witty
Smart, witty women appeal to guys. If making witty remarks comes
easy to you, employ them to improve your flirtational abilities.
However, refrain from being overly snarky or employing corny
remarks that will come out as aggressive or desperate. Make him
laugh with your natural humor. He might have a different sense of
humor from you if your work doesn't yield the outcomes you were
hoping for. Don't give up though. Find a different flirtation tactic
(Urroz, 2017).

7. Show Genuine Interest

It's not about coming up with witty, sassy statements or bragging
about your achievements. Being a good, sincere listener is
important. He will feel special if you engage him in conversation
and pay him your whole attention.
If you like him, you should be interested in him and his life. Ask
him about his family and his interests. Keep your opinions to
yourself-while he is speaking. He'll think you're more interested in
airing your viewpoint than his. One conversational tip is to
frequently utilize the other person's name. There is an emotional
connection made when someone else calls your name.

8. Leave Some Questions Hanging

Once you’re having a conversation, don’t be overly enthusiastic.
Especially while texting, don’t respond to every single thing in his
message. This can make you seem too desperate. Respond to a
couple of things per message but try to leave a few questions
hanging. This will not only make you look mysterious but also make
him more curious. Keep your texts short and sweet.

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9. Ask Interesting Questions
Speaking of asking questions, don’t ask boring ones. Dig a little
deep. Ask questions that need more than just a “yes” or “no” for an
answer. Good topics to talk about in the beginning are work, family,
and interests. Later, you can get into his hopes, fears, and dreams.
Flirting with a guy doesn't necessarily mean you're committing to
dating him, but it can be a way to get to know him better and have
some fun. If you're interested in a guy, waiting for him to make the
first move may not be the best approach. Instead, taking the
initiative and starting a flirty conversation can be effective. This
could involve playful touching, drawing attention to your body, and
giving compliments to show your interest. It's important to be
confident in your approach and not wait for the guy to initiate the
conversation. These steps can help modern women take control of
their love lives, and pursue the relationships they desire.

The Art of Charisma

Other than flirting, there are other 3 elements that make up the
whole concept of charisma. If you are looking to add a hint of
charisma in your personality, it’s important that you hone your
persuasive skills through the essence of your presences and power
and have control over how you converse with people. So, the main
elements include:

Presence
Power
Warmth

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Think of these elements as being what you need to put on in order
to create those outfit types: you’d need a top, bottom, and shoes,
wouldn’t you? These are the three factors which create your
charisma, and without them all working in harmony you won’t have
the beneficial influence you desire. All three elements working
together to create charisma

1. Presence
Do you agree that we have a natural sense of when someone is
completely engaged with us? Although we may not be aware of it
consciously, we can feel a sense of security when we sense their full
attention. We feel important and appreciated, and when someone
values us, we are inclined to reciprocate that feeling (Hultberg,
2015). Similarly, when someone directs their energy towards us, we
tend to respond with our own energy, which leads to a positive
perception of that person. For example, my spouse occasionally
remarks, "That person is lovely; I will remember them." When we
can remember, so can other people that we interact with. As a
woman, you have the ability to leave the imprint of your ideas on
their minds. Having slow and steady conversations where you are
able to concentrate on the ideas and perspectives of the person (Van
Edwards, 2022).
The ability to exude a powerful aura in social situations is a crucial
aspect of possessing charisma. In fact, having a strong presence is
closely associated with the type of charisma known as "focus," which
we discussed earlier. If you possess a natural talent for focus, then
developing a sense of presence should come easily to you. Well-
known individuals who possess charismatic presence include the

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Dalai Lama and Bill Clinton, both of whom are fully engaged and
present in the company of others.

2. Power
Charismatic power is the ability to be perceived as someone who
can make an impact on the world around them. This power can be
exhibited in many ways, such as physical strength, status, wealth, or
knowledge. Like presence, being in the company of someone who
benevolently exudes power can make us feel safe and comfortable.
We often underestimate our own power, but if we are experts in a
particular field or possess knowledge that others around us value,
then that is a source of power that we can leverage. The key is to use
this power for the benefit of others and show that we are willing to
help (Hultberg, 2015). Charismatic people who are powerful always
make time for others and use their knowledge to serve others. This
shows that their power is not a threat and that they are willing to
help.
However, power alone is not enough for someone to be perceived
as charismatic. Presence is also crucial because it helps to convince
people of the charismatic person's interest. For example, an actor
who lacks interest in a chat show interview may have an influential
aura, but their lack of interest undermines the power they could
have conveyed. It is important to note that charismatic power
should not be about dominating others (Van Edwards, 2022).
When a person emphasizes their power, it usually stems from
insecurity, which goes against being comfortable in your own skin,
an important aspect of charisma.
Power is closely associated with the visionary and authority types of
charisma, and if you have strengths in these areas, developing your

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power element of charisma may come naturally. Did you know that
Barack Obama and Madonna have both been criticized and praised
for their charismatic qualities (Hultberg, 2015).

3. Warmth
To possess a warmly charismatic personality means you can
positively influence the world and have significant persuasion
abilities. This charisma is closely tied to power and the ability to
build relationships and rapport through displaying warmth.
Charismatic individuals exhibit warmth through measured and
open body language and speaking at a pace that allows others to
engage. Conversely, tense and nervous behavior conveys the
opposite of warmth and puts people on alert. Imperfection is an
essential trait for those aiming to display warmth, which can be
achieved through conversation (Van Edwards, 2022). By treating
people equally and exhibiting nervousness at social events, one can
show their approachable and warm charisma. Warmth is closely
linked to the kindness and focus types of charisma, and those strong
in these areas will find developing warmly charismatic traits comes
naturally. Oprah Winfrey and Stephen Fry are both well-known
individuals who possess warmly charismatic personalities, coming
across as inclusive and accessible by exhibiting imperfection
(Hultberg, 2015). Overall, having charisma adds a spark to your
personality.

Final thoughts
Interestingly, charisma has an evident link with dark feminine
energy. Charisma increases your confidence and helps you stand
out in a conversation. Besides, who doesn’t want to leave their mark

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on a person they secretly like? As a woman, your flirty and seductive
sense is a beautiful side to embrace instead of suppressing. Be self-
aware and use your

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 CHAPTER 6
DRESS TO IMPRESS
‘Clothes should be an extension of what you represent..’
-Marco Pierre White

In our fast-moving world, there are a lot of times where the first
impression people have of you is all they'll have to remember you
by. This is especially true in situations like job interviews and
networking events, where making a good first impression can be
crucial.
Have you ever looked at a female CEO, wearing her 3 piece suit and
a red lipstick? Do you feel the powerful aura that engulfs her body
and presence?
As discussed in the previous chapter, your presence has an
unforgettable mark on people. Besides, if not the people, dressing
up formally or informally can help you regain confidence in your
life. Because, when you look good, you feel good.
Besides, even though your attire is not the only thing that matters
when people judge your character and personality, your appearance
can definitely play a big role in how people perceive you. When you
dress in a way that makes you look confident and put-together,
you're more likely to make a positive impact on the people you
meet. Plus, as we talked about earlier, what you wear can also have

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an impact on your own self-esteem and sense of empowerment. So
even if it doesn't solve all your problems, throwing on a sharp suit
or outfit can make you feel like you're ready to take on the world!

Embrace Your Style

Surprisingly, your feminine energy is a huge advocate for dressing
up. I know, this is a slightly cringey statement, but think about it,
the minute you put on a black 3 piece suit coupled with a winged
liner and deep red lipstick, you feel as if a sense of power have
erupted within your body. You feel in control of your life, regardless
of how it’s been treating you lately (Urroz, 2017). So, clothes have
the power to change your mood. When you wear something daring
like a mini skirt or a black slip dress, you are channeling your dark
feminine energy through your sense of fashion. It allows you to be
in control of how you are feeling and what you are thinking.
Similarly, let’s say for a big interview, dressing more professionally
may make you feel more at ease and prepared. Every occasion has a
dress code, but you are free to express yourself-however you want.
Yet, during an important conference, anything that is creased and
ruffled is unacceptable. Plus, shoes matter! They should match your
clothing and be polished, not scuffed. No one wants to look like a
peacock— scrunched with beautiful feathers but having ugly feet.
Always ensure that it is tidy and well-groomed; wild hairstyles and
flyaways are not acceptable. You should be using perfume or
cologne, so that you smell nice walking into your professional or
social environment. No matter your age, size, or weight, you can
have outstanding style. Whatever you find yourself-in your path, it
comes from understanding what's good for you!

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How To Dress As A Goddess
As a dark goddess you have an untapped fashion sense that you can
use to make a fashion statement. But putting together an outfit that
accentuates your body and makes you stand out for the correct
reasons may boost your credibility and boost your confidence to
new heights. Everything is achievable when we experience great
things and when we look amazing! Here are my top style
recommendations, even if it's exclusively for yourself:

1. Color's Influence
Your clothing's color choices are one of the primary things others
will notice about you. Colour has the ability to uplift or down lift
your mood, help you seem wonderful, or fatigued, or make them
stand out. Wearing a color that enhances your appearance is a
guaranteed technique to draw attention to yourself. However,
choosing a color to wear isn't always simple. Many women struggle
to make good color decisions and frequently make the wrong ones,
which can make them seem unwell, aged, or fatigued (Laurent,
2022).
Looking closely at oneself-is one of the simplest methods to identify
some of your greatest colors. Your hair color, eye color, and skin
tone are all colors that will make you seem stunning when you wear
apparel that incorporates them.

2. Exquisite Physique
Although dressing for your body type may seem obvious, we
frequently fool ourselves and try to fit into the shape that we had 10
or 20 years ago, before we had children, or the body we wished we
had. Take a good, honest look at the body you have right now,

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ladies. I know this is one of my hardest pieces of advice for you, but
please do. The new soft spots you didn't know you possessed should
be embraced. Love all of your curves. You must accept them as a
part of yourself-in order to wear them appropriately. Once you do
this, you will look stunning regardless of your size.

3. Add Glamor with Jewelry

Did you understand that your face shapes decide the ideal
necklines, jewelry, hairstyles, spectacles, patterns, and even shoes
for you? Your face shape also plays a role in how well a selfie will
turn out. The answer for numerous design components in your
clothing may be found by understanding your facial shape. When I
realized that my angular face was to blame for why I felt "dorky"
when wearing round toe shoes, it was a major "a-ha" epiphany (go
figure). Now that I'm aware, I've decided to wear pointy toe shoes
since they help me feel a bit more like me. It will be simple to pick
if you are aware of your facial shape and your "inside line."
Many women choose their lines arbitrarily, which results in a
jumble of lines which are distracting too much to be attractive or
produce harmony. A lot of clothing trial and error may be avoided
when you understand which characteristics to look for, but even
with this knowledge, you might still dress inappropriately for your
body type. To develop a look that is distinctly you, it must interact
with other components.

4. Balance the Scales

You may dress more correspondingly by using your own scale. It
decides how large your purses should be, how much jewelry you
should wear, how broad your belts should be, how aesthetically

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heavy or lightweight the clothes you wear should be, etc. Handbags
are a wonderful illustration of how many women are unaware of the
role that scale plays. A purse that is too large for you makes you
appear smaller. In contrast, carrying a purse that is too tiny might
make you appear larger than you actually are. You are a giant
woman, both physically and spiritually, therefore dress as such,
Goddess. The secret of slaying an outfit relies on how well you
accessorize it with shoes and bags. Besides, stay up on important
trends that are currently overflowing on social media.
So, are you a goddess or a rockstar? Either way you have the power
to change your life and leave an unforgettable mark on people.
Although not nearly as large as a goddess, a rockstar has a
commanding presence and can get away with wearing plenty of
bangles and other large, dramatic accessories. She actually needs
these, because otherwise her accessories will be lost on her stunning
outfit. Your weight is ideal for a girl—it's neither too big nor too
little. For a delicate diva, your finest appearance is subtle and small-
scale because of your natural petiteness.

5. Your personal style Identity

Similar to how a woman's fingerprints are distinctive to her, each
woman comes into being with her own distinct personal style.
However, not every woman is aware of her own personal style. It's
common for women to claim that they lack personal style. Though
they haven't yet realized it, they actually do.
In order to develop an outfit that would make you feel more like
yourself, it helps to be aware of who you are and what makes you
truly "you." Have you ever worried if you appear silly in your new

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attire as you leave the house? You weren't actually there, most likely.
You are able to dress like what you intend every day after you find
your own sense of style! (Laurent, 2022)
It's not about thinking about what other people think when you
dress to impress; rather, it's about figuring out who you are and
communicating your personality from the inside out. Your outfit
will always be spot-on whenever you take consideration of your
personal style aspects. My lovely, it is sheer magic!
Now, can I let you in on a secret that I have been practicing along
with my dark feminine energy? I have experimented with what sits
well and accentuates the dark goddess that lives within me and these
are by far my holy grails when it comes to fashion. Enjoy!

Secret Recipe
If you want to maximize your sense of fashion or maybe
experiment with your style, try these tips:
1. Work on your capsule wardrobe, first. Ensure you have
dependable wardrobe essentials, such as the classic modest
black dress, a pair of well-fitting jeans, a timeless blazer,
uncomplicated T-shirts and button-downs in moderate colors,
and a casual leatherette (or jeans) jacket. To seem put together,
invest in a small selection of versatile fundamentals and learn
how to style them.
2. Ensure that all of your clothing fits precisely. Hiring a skilled
seamstress is one way to make any article of clothing seem
spectacular. Clothing that has been tailored feels more
comfortable in addition to having a more polished appearance.
You won't feel elegant if your clothes bunch up or your trousers

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 drag on the ground. If your limited collection fits you well, you
may begin to experiment with over- and under-sized things in
a way that appears stylish rather than messy.
3. Become proficient in proportional harmony. In order to achieve
a sense of aesthetic harmony, proportion balance involves
styling your clothing. Wearing clothing that fits your body form
can help you do this. Make a fashion statement by keeping the
remaining components of the outfit fitting when you wish to
experiment with bigger clothing or unique forms. For instance,
attempt to combine a tight top that is cropped with wide-leg
jeans or a puff-shoulder shirt with straight-leg slacks.
4. Discover your unique style. A mood board is a good place to
start if you want to develop your own distinctive look over time.
Keep in mind that developing your own sense of style is
experimentation; you never know what fantastic looks are
waiting for you until you go inside the changing room. You
shouldn't let the labels "menswear" and "womenswear"
influence how you purchase. Spend some time experimenting
with colors and forms to discover what suits your own body
type well.
5. Develop your shopping skills. It will be easier for you to avoid
stuffing your wardrobe with clothes you never wear if you know
how to buy exactly what you want. When you have items in your
closet that you adore, designing an outfit will come naturally.
6. Include a belt. One of the simplest ways to make whatever you're
wearing seem more put together is to add a belt to it. It's also a
terrific strategy for creating harmony in an outfit, such as when

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 wearing a long Cashmere jumper paired with an unusually
billowy ballerina skirt.
7. Have fun with color. Start with only one colorful piece while
maintaining the rest of the ensemble neutral if you're hesitant
to add color to your outfit. You'll discover which color
combinations suit your style the best as you become more at
ease with them. A color wheel may serve as a source of
inspiration.
8. Blend textures and patterns. The days of wearing handbags and
shoes that matched are gone. Making a striking fashion
statement with clashing materials and designs. As you gain
experience, gradually increase the quantity of sequins and
paisleys you wear by starting with modest amounts of neutral
patterning like stripes and understated textures like cowhide
and sweaters. Besides, whatever you wear it has to make you feel
powerful and beautiful. However, be mindful of what looks
good with what, because we don’t want t0 experience a
wardrobe malfunction now do we?

A Flare of Color
Understanding what works best with your beautiful and natural
features can give you a headstart when it comes to dressing up.
When you already know what makes you feel fierce, you’ll always
opt for the same dress when you have an important meeting to
attend. It’s important for you to own your style instead of relying
on other people. However, there is something extra that adds a flare
to your whole style, do you know what it is?

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The theory of red color is one of the most popular when it comes to
creating a causal link between dark feminine energy and the color
of passion. What is the story behind the color red?
Well, if asked in a general sense there are several traditional tails
that are associated with the color red. Mainly because the color is
attributed to fierceness and passion.
So, does a red dress have the power to make people obsess with you?
One of the most vibrant colors and known for their spark, red has
been associated with fertility and marriage in Hindu folktales. Not
only is it the color of blood but also indicates warmth. Red attracts
attention and is linked to thrills, fervor, danger, energy, daring, and
speed. Have you ever worn a red dress and felt like everyone was
staring at you? Well guess what— red has a magnetic effect on
people. Women that are able to master the philosophy of the color
red in their wardrobe are able to use it effectively in diverting the
attention of the room towards them. They use little tricks like
wearing red lipstick or a red undertone slip paired with a maroon
suit, which helps them stand out.
In addition to generating excitement and stimulating ferociousness,
it helps shy individuals speak up! Whether you wear it as lipstick or
a dress, it helps your dark feminine energy that is bold and strong
to exude without any hindrance. Thus you are able to captivate
people and vicariously climb your professional ladder.
It suggests a pioneering mindset and leadership attributes,
encouraging ambition and tenacity. Depending on the culture, it
might mean many things. But in Western culture, the color red is
attached to the idea of seduction, all while symbolizing love,

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passion, and blood. It encourages creating a commotion. Red-clad
women will undoubtedly attract attention.
She conveys personality, independence, power, and resolve by
donning crimson. In order to project confidence, business women
frequently wear red blouses to crucial meetings, gatherings, or
festive occasions. Have you ever noticed how much praise you get
when wearing a red dress or suit? At a wedding or other function,
we may choose a red outfit to stand out. This is most likely a result
of cultural conditioning that links the color red to the appeal and
desire. In fact, a lot of individuals think that women wear red to
draw in guys. Although there has been no theory or evidence to
back this up, City University of New York research discovered that
males viewed women sporting red to be more appealing (Lee, 2022).
Moreover, Steven G. Young, the primary author of the article
published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, stated that
recent research shows that coloring may have a role in human
mating, since female sexual excitation is related with reddening of
the cheeks, neck, and chest. When women expect to encounter
attractive, but not very attractive, males, they are more likely to wear
red than any other hue. Men are sensitive to red on women. ladies
viewed against red backdrops or wearing red apparel are thought to
be more appealing than ladies wearing a variety of other colors. So,
if you are looking to embrace your bold feminine energy, try
including the color red as a statement in your wardrobe.

Final Word…
In a nutshell, your feminine energy is highlighted through the
clothes that you wear and how you style them. In fact, it also aids in

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increasing your self-confidence because when you look good, you
attract positive energy towards yourself. But wait, if red can help
you achieve the ultimate goddess look, what can you do to look
mysterious? Swipe the page to find out!

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 CHAPTER 7
ALLURING PERSONALITY
‘A truly feminine women should always retain a little air of
mystery’
-Louise Jourdan

To be mysterious is to have a magnetic energy that pulls people in.

A mysterious woman is a true believer of mystic dark energy but
also is soft when truly understood. As a dark goddess, something
that should be fully understood by you, is that in order to
completely immerse yourself-into a bold aura is to let go of the
arbitrary rules created by society to ground you, when you are
meant to fly.

Become A Mystery Woman

So, here is my technical mantra — when rules are beneficial, they
are effective. Let me elaborate, following rules that elevate your
personality and help your mental growth have a positive effect on
women and their personality. The 'rules' of how to conduct oneself,
nonetheless, sometimes stifle femininity and feminine vitality. We
all live in a culture where there are many unwritten norms, thus
making them problematic (Lee, 2022).

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Furthermore, peer groupings. Frequently, when we desire to
change, our closest companions or social network might be the
most restrictive. I've previously stated that because rules are
rigorous, being a woman is less about adhering to a set of rules and
more about making your own rules.
Furthermore, femininity is not strict, it’s rather fluid (Lorenz,
2021). Life's vitality is feminine energy. The way it expresses itself-
might vary from being more caring to being more untamed, dark,
and primal. You have already explored the main distinction
between light and dark feminine energy, but what I want to further
expound on is that the trait of mystery is an attribute often
considered within dark goddesses. Mainly because it enables
women to be assertive and captivating. Often in the corporate
culture, women who are mysterious wield a higher degree of
command (Lorenz, 2021).

Rules Of Femininity
Interestingly, there are no rules in feminine essence. So, it’s
important for you to discard the instruction manual given to you
about what and what does not constitute femininity.
Besides, our culture and societal structure often forces women to
hide their assertiveness by imposing the side of soft feminine
energy. Do you believe that becoming more delicate will cause you
to constantly express yourself-in a particularly feminine way? I
don’t think so, it’s important for women to strike a close balance
between your masculine and feminine energy.
Do you adhere to a norm that says ultra feminine women must
constantly dress and act elegantly? Some days it seems unnatural to

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always be soft. What about days when you have to be strong and
fight for the people that you love? Our society desperately endorses
the idea of soft feminine energy but sometimes it’s not what you
need (Mungroo, 2022).
You see, a lot of women currently have disrupted perspectives about
how to use their feminine energy due to a number of expanding
dating and relationship guidelines spreading on the internet
(Mungroo, 2022). Many women now believe that being feminine
involves being submissive, more receptive, or about receiving as a
result of the new age standards. But that is far from the truth! Being
sensitive is a valuable ability to have in general, but it has nothing
associated with growing more feminine in particular.
Receptivity, as opposed to being just about feminine energy, can
help us open up and relate to people more as an individual.
Numerous individuals believe that "going back" is a feminine
courting technique, but this causes a conflict with your dark
feminine energy because you are holding yourself-back.

Soft and Demanding: Your Special Touch

You possess your own special taste of feminine energy. Give up all
the guidelines you've adopted about what it means to present
yourself-with more feminine energy first and foremost. Keep in
mind that your soul is special. One and only you. You possess a
distinct "flavor" of feminine energy.
This implies that despite your best efforts, following rules won't
actually make you more feminine. Instead, keep them guessing!
Unless you're leaving a relationship that's abusive and want to
connect with a new man while feeling safer. Even then, rules like

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being submissive or refraining from eye contact with men or being
macho would severely limit your ability to express yourselves.
(Keep in mind that having a strong male vitality might actually
make you appear more at ease being feminine. Yes, you could want
to soften up a bit rather than seeming rigid and harsh. However,
being sensitive does not necessarily mean being passive.
Women may be delicate at times. Sometimes it's nonetheless,
though.
Ask yourself-this question: Is my desire to evolve into a more
feminine a result of my want to increase my deserving status?
If, deep inside, you know that your response is indeed yes, then
simply remind yourself-of your achievements. Instead, remember
that you must give up attempting to be deserving in order to radiate
more feminine energy (Mungroo, 2022). Besides, it's about being
able to let go of the pressure to be deserving and to settle into who
you really are in your genuine essence.
I've personally made the mistake of trying to be or feel more
"worthy" of love. It conveys the unfavorable impression that you're
not quite "over there" or "tapered" in social or connections terms.
You see, femininity must come from inside (Neal, 2019).
In order to be perceived by others as more "high achieving,"
"competitive," and "enough" in modern culture, you must take off
whatever artificial male masks you may have acquired as a young
girl. You see, just by virtue of your presence on this planet, you are
already deserving.
Remove the masks and numerous layers of attempting and
struggling to be "worthy" or more "enough" if your true feminine

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nature is what you are seeking to express. It would help if you went
beyond the boundaries of the norms and into the beautiful
manifestation of your own distinctive feminine glow.

You Can Still Be Masculine While Being Soft and

Feminine
You don't have to give up your masculine energy, instead you
merely have to give it a twist and turn it into a dark feminine energy.
Do not abandon it, if possible.
In both men and women, there is a masculine and a feminine
energy.
Keep in mind that there is no difference between the energy of the
male and female. Your masculine traits are just as admirable and
beneficial in your life as they are in your partnership. Simply said,
numerous of these females have developed quite masculine habits
and behaviors as a result of our employment. This indicates that
many women nowadays don't want to or know how to leave their
overly masculinized way of life.
As we have already established in previous chapters that a lifestyle
that is overly masculine undermines your feminine essence. Why?
Well, you see, our bodies reflect the majority of what we do.
Therefore, if we perform a few too many of the supposedly male
chores and activities, our bodies will become more masculine.
In reality, leading a very imbalanced, male lifestyle or working in an
unfeminine environment might impair your attractiveness and
delicacy.

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Although successful and powerful men are more likely to be drawn
to feminine women, this does not mean that every single one of
these men will share their success and dominance. Simply put, it
indicates that feminine women are more likely to attract macho
men who are confident in their manhood and frightened to be
themselves (Neal, 2019). A high-value woman must also access her
healthy male energy since not every man desires a lady who is
feminine. It's crucial to keep in mind that no two people are the
same when it comes to desire and relations.

Mystery and Escape

It's critical to go from your goal-oriented male energy to the wavy,
shifting feminine energy if you wish to access your feminine energy.
What is the best way for you to do that? To relieve the restricted
male energy in your body, one method is to use music and
relaxation. You may unwind and reconnect with your body by
dancing or taking a bath.
Typically, the thighs, legs, and female reproductive systems hold the
bulk of the feminine energy. Therefore, it's crucial to concentrate
on these areas. Our feminine energy might occasionally be
impacted by obligations and circumstances. Even our careers may
compel us to lean more heavily on our masculine energy, making it
more difficult to access our feminine energy.
So, in order to maintain the health of our feminine energy, it's
imperative that we strike a balance amongst our male and feminine
energies.
Being a woman involves existing in the human form and
experiencing all of its emotions. Since it calls for submission to life

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energy and permits it to evolve into a part of us, feeling is the very
core of femininity (Reyes, 2017). We shouldn't be restricted by
restrictive notions that render us distant or frigid if we are to be
feminine. We must, instead, remain in tune with life's impromptu
flow and let the experience take us where it will.
Being sensitive is necessary to be a feminine woman that is in
contorl of her personal aura. Why?
Being sensitive and attached are necessary qualities for women
since they naturally have the desire to nurture others. Since it has a
significant impact on your relationships, knowing your primary
attachment style is essential. Women with only soft feminine
personalities have a hard time letting go since they feel profound
about practically everything.
Thoughts of unworthiness or terrible experiences may lead to a
detachment from emotions, love, or close relationships.
Remember, tragedy doesn't have to shatter a woman and make her
feel helpless. A feminine woman who turns up as the male's "one
and only" offers him a purpose to work, live, care for others, and
rule since he can never truly enjoy her vitality and aliveness as a
male.
'Flow' Is What Defines Feminine Energy
You are authentic and appealing to a man because of the flow and
vulnerability that characterize your feminine energy. If you aren't
vulnerable, he could treat you like any other woman and not respect
your sex. Appreciating the distinction between vulnerability and
neediness is crucial. Click here to find out what causes men to
commit, according to emotions.

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Stern but kind!
We women have the ability to radically alter the planet. We need to
be aware of our significance and our mental fortitude. Being
psychologically strong is about our personalities and how we are
taking care of ourselves and those around us, not about how we
seem or how popular we are. It's crucial to keep our strength in
mind when experiencing despair or anxiety. To remind yourself-
how amazing you are, you can always return to this article and go
over the list of the top 10 qualities of mentally strong women.
Women that are mentally strong have embraced their dark
feminine energy and are confident, to begin with. Women that are
mentally strong take pleasure in their achievements and in
themselves; they radiate calmness and self-love. Productivity is the
next topic. These women appreciate the need to take breaks but also
have a strong desire to feel successful. They are constantly looking
for ways to be productive.
Optimism and positivism are additional traits of psychologically
powerful women. They always seek for methods to better both their
environment and themselves because they have a development
attitude. They want to spread happiness wherever they go and are
positive role models.
Possessing a "go-getter" mindset is the fourth quality. These women
consistently put their aspirations into action because they have a
distinct picture of what they want to accomplish in life. They work
tirelessly and tenaciously to achieve their objectives, employing
imaginative as well as analytical thinking to guide them. Finally,
bold women are mentally strong. They confront their anxieties
head-on and do not avoid difficulties or obstacles. Instead, they face

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challenges head-on with courage and tenacity, making baby steps
in the right direction until they succeed. But, what’s different about
them is that they never tell a soul about what they are onto, what
they plan to do and where they are going. The biggest tell of a
mysterious woman is that she poses as if she knows everything
about you and you know nothing about her. In order to achieve
such a presence, it’s crucial for you to link your inner strengths with
your dark feminine energy.

In the end
In a nutshell, lf-assurance, productivity, optimism and positivism,
a "go-getter" mentality, and fearlessness. These are the top five
qualities of psychologically strong women. As you move through
life, keep these qualities in mind and never forget that you possess
the ability and strength to be mentally strong as well.

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 CHAPTER 8
MASTER BODY LANGUAGE
‘Your calm is your superpower.’
― Mallory Kennedy

Our bodies are mere vessels for the energy that we carry within
them. They hold the chaos that thrusts within our soul but also
radiates kindness. When we are happy, our hugs are warm and
when we are sad our eyes well up with tears. It’s as if our body has a
language of it’s own, communicating what it’s enduring through
different ways. It’s a beautiful phenomena. Even though dark
goddesses are known as harbinger of darkness, Hekate is a beautiful
reminder that they stand between the slip of life and death, holding
the thin veil that separates the worlds. She is an imminent reminder
that our bodies are strong as it endures suffering all while being
nurturing and welcoming in the shape of childbirth. Women and
their bodies are truly magnificent.
Did you know that women and their bodies have been worshiped
throughout Greek and Roman history?
Even now, beautiful statutes of youthful women lie within the ruins
of the Roman empire. It is important for you to welcome your flaws
and form a prompt connection with your body when you embrace
your dark feminine energy.

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Mind-Body Relationship
The link between the mind and body is strong. It demonstrates how
our mental health may impact our physiological health and vice
versa; if either is bad, the relationship can deteriorate, leading to the
development of numerous health problems. Since the epidemic has
unfortunately caused many students to struggle, it is essential that
they take good care of their physical and mental health. So, in order
to fully embrace and immerse yourself-in the shoes of a dark
goddess, all while yielding the fruitful boost of self-confidence, you
will have to work on your body (Zetlin, 2019).
Now, that is not to say that you are supposed to go to the gym. Greek
goddesses are known for the plump and voluptuous figures. The
idea was to have birthing hips and a healthy body that exuded
confidence and love.
Your thoughts, feelings, and actions may all be greatly influenced
by your posture, overall body position as well movements, and
facial expressions. If you've ever observed, for instance, how sitting
down or standing up straight may increase your confidence and
motivation for a job, that's the mind-body link at work! To improve
your overall mental health, there are several strategies to deepen this
relationship.
Scholars at a number of prestigious educational organizations,
particularly Harvard and Columbia Universities, have been
investigating the relationship between poor posture and the brain
for decades. Their most recent studies indicate that correcting poor
posture might enhance brain function and, therefore, mood and
memory.

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For instance, researchers discovered that when you strike what they
refer to as "power poses"—a self-assured stance and a tall, raised
posture—your decision-making is subtly impacted (Zetlin, 2019).
When you sit or lie down straighter and lift your head and shoulders
downward and towards the outside, your brain receives a signal that
the powerful, self-assured you is in control of your thoughts. As a
result, you may make more confident decisions.
In addition, your posture has an impact on how you perceive
yourself-and how others perceive you. For instance, if you slouch
throughout a job assessment, but the interviewer may feel
compelled to think less highly of you. Having good posture—with
your arms at your back and your body in line—allows you to appear
better in your clothes and increases the likelihood that loved ones
will compliment you, which will uplift your spirits. Another option
is to just enjoy your appearance in the reflection in the mirror which
will uplift and inspire you.
Walking can benefit from good posture as well. You may feel as
though you are bedraggled and overwrought if you walk with a
shuffle and a slouched posture. Your brain recognises "uplifted and
with confidence" when you walk that way, and it releases joyful
hormones to correspond with the message.
Your brain might also experience physical pain as a result of poor
posture. When you slouch frequently, you could have back, neck,
shoulder, and even wrist discomfort which might notify your brain
that you're in agony. The brain must therefore produce pain-
relieving neurotransmitters rather than pleasant hormones. When
you're achy, sore, or in so much discomfort that you need to take
medicine for relief, it might be difficult to feel joyful.

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When the brain stops producing happy chemicals, pain can lead to
sadness.
So proper posture contributes to a happier brain in a number of
interrelated ways. Your relationships, fitness, productivity at work,
level of intimacy, and other aspects of your lifestyle improve as a
result of your happy brain.

The Beginning Of Peace

There are several strategies to improve your posture, like taking a
"yoga for better posture" session or regular yoga courses. Yoga
lengthens the body and retrains the body's structure to be straighter
with your shoulder blades back and spine straight, so the position
will quickly seem more natural to you. Posture can also be improved
by general exercising.
As a relaxation method for those suffering from panic disorder,
practicing meditation with mindfulness can be a helpful strategy for
controlling feelings of tension and worry. You may quiet your body
and mind by using the following meditation technique to help you
slow down your racing thoughts, lessen negativity, and calm your
mind (Clark, 2021).
Research conducted throughout gender, age group, and
geographically lines has demonstrated how effective this practice
may be. For instance, a 2015 study found that using meditation for
mindfulness techniques significantly reduced anxiety and tension
among students studying nursing. When you are able to find an
anchor that helps you release all the tension in your body, you are
able to improve your confidence, posture and communication. You

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are able to hold interesting conversations and pay full attention to
the person without getting lost in your own thoughts (Clark, 2021).

The Present Moment: A Tale Of Meditation

It's possible that you'll be unprepared for how difficult it might be
to sit in silence when you first start practicing meditation.
Unbelievably, learning to be cognizant of how sitting motionless
might cause your thoughts to race forward is a crucial component
of cultivating concentration. The secret is to study the mind without
passing judgment on it. Start out slowly with sessions that just last
a few minutes (Clark, 2021). You may progressively extend your
duration if you establish a more consistent, comfortable routine.
The secret is to study the mind without judging it. Start off slowly
with practice sessions that just last a few minutes. You can
progressively extend your duration if you establish a more
consistent, comfortable routine.
It's also crucial to meditate at a location that means you won't be
disrupted by people, animals, or phones or overwhelmed by your
environment. Take off your shoes, clunky jewelry, and any
constrictive clothes. The idea is to meditate in a serene, comfortable
environment. After choosing a time and location, follow these four
steps to provide the groundwork for your meditative exercise:

1. Discover Your Comfort Zone

Many individuals cross their legs when sitting on the floor and raise
their backs. In a chair, standing up, or on your back, you could
choose to sit with your legs extended. Find a posture that is
comfortable enough to ensure that you aren't interrupted by your
physical appearance, nevertheless not so comfortable that you

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become unconscious of your body or risk falling asleep (Torrisi,
2018). If you start to feel uncomfortable or start to have cramps,
remember that you may continually shift positions.

2. Concentrate on the Here and Now

Start turning your attention inside as soon as you're settled
comfortably somewhere quiet. Start breathing as soon as you close
your eyes.4 Your consciousness will be drawn to the moment at
hand if you simply observe your breathing pattern without
attempting to alter it. Bring your focus back to the air you are
breathing if you find that it has wandered. Allowing your breath to
get deeper will aid in relaxing when you've noticed its inherent
rhythm.

3. Give Your Thoughts Some Respect

Beginning to meditate may first make you feel more anxious or
judgmental of yourself. Are my efforts correct? I don't know what
to do. Recognise that inner voice instead of attempting to silence it,
and waiting to allow it to go. You'll get the ability to tolerate
uncomfortable ideas by doing this. You could start to feel calmer
and less worried over time.
Open your eyes when you believe your meditation is finished or
after the required amount of time has passed. Gently stretch out
when you emerge from your meditation. Spend some time
considering your approach (Torrisi, 2018).
Nevertheless, even if you don't actually need much to get started, it
might still be a little frightening. All you really require is your
thoughts, a basic understanding of some beginner's skills, and

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perhaps a computer or phone if you want to listen to some soothing
music or follow along with meditations that are guided.

Types of Meditation
We need to reevaluate what meditation looks like. It's not necessary
to be flawless the first time. You simply need to be motivated to get
going and discover something that works for you. Because we could
all use a little serenity right now, I have compiled a list of beginner-
friendly meditation methods, refer to them and see what excites you
the most:

1. Tapping
An acupressure and psychological foundation underlie tapping.
Vibay Chandran Weisbecker, a Mindbody integrated health and
mindful highly skilled and certified yoga teacher, says that Indian
Ayurveda has been teaching about Marma points for thousands of
years. When the proper pressure is applied to these important body
parts, the body is able to release toxins and promote new cell
growth. You are asked to focus on a negative feeling in the first
tapping phase, such as an issue that has been hanging on you or a
fear that has been bothering you. It's not so bad, so don't worry! You
tap anywhere from five to seven times with your fingertips on nine
distinct meridian points on the body while still retaining that feeling
(Thomas, 2020). Tapping is said to help soothe the nervous system
and give people a sense of peace and security. Even the soothing
pattern on your hands as they rest on your body might dull
unpleasant thoughts.
While tapping, according to Weisbecker, is frequently carried out
under the supervision of a professional therapist, you may also get

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started by seeing if this technique is right for you by downloading
an app like The Tapping Solution (Thomas, 2020).

2. Meditation with music

Playing music through your speakers can help with sound
meditation, which is a straightforward kind of meditation. To enter
a meditative state, you might lose yourself-in the music rather than
following challenging instructions. Let yourself-be absorbed in the
music. You can, however, independently practice sound meditation
(Thomas, 2020).
To avoid reliving your trauma, choose something calming,
unobtrusive, and maybe devoid of vocals. Focus on upbeat music to
foster a more peaceful frame of mind. As we grow in our capacity
for inner healing, we become more aware of dissonance and are able
to harmonize it with uplifting sounds and pleasant ideas.

3. Directed meditations
Another excellent approach to get started is to use a guided
meditation app. Even yoga instructors praise the advantages of
trying out guided meditation in this manner. Sarah Neufeld, co-
founder of Modo Yoga NYC, claims that "relatively recently,
whatever we knew and took for granted about our lives transformed
instantaneously (Thomas, 2020)." Many of us are experiencing
extreme emotional upheaval right now.
This meditation is easy enough for a complete novice to do. It uses
basic mindfulness techniques to look at the specific emotional
landscape we are experiencing at the time (Thomas, 2020).

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4. The Body Scan
A good body scan meditation can simulate a spa visit. Do you know
how to sense stress, sadness, and emotional suffering in your body?
To do so, one method is to scan the body. Lay down in a cozy spot,
perhaps on a rug or yoga mat. Shut your eyes. Spend a while
breathing deeply to calm down.
Put all of your focus on your feet and toes when you're ready. Think
about any uncomfortable spots. Then, while you inhale deeply into
your feet, exhale the discomfort, and acknowledge your suffering
(Thomas, 2020).
After focusing on the breath, you can start to move your attention
to different parts of your body, such as your legs, butt, arms, back,
and eventually up to the top of your head. It can be difficult to
meditate at first, but it's important to start small, perhaps with just
a two-minute session and gradually build up to 15 to 20 minutes per
day.

5. Loving-kindness meditation
Loving-kindness meditation, also known as Metta meditation, is a
practice that can benefit everyone, especially in current times. It
involves cultivating compassion by directing loving-kindness
towards oneself, friends and family, and even the entire world. As
explained by Headspace, developing compassion for others starts
with showing self-compassion.
In addition to practicing forgiveness and healing, which is a terrific
approach to increase joy and love for oneself-and others.
Try a loving-kindness meditation by composing a compassionate
mantra for oneself, such as "May I be happy and free." Close your

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eyes and chant the mantra aloud while seated comfortably in a
meditation position (Thomas, 2020). If you care about someone,
then aim it towards them. If you can, put them in your mind's eye
and alter the pronoun to reflect them, as in "May they be happy and
free." Say "May all beings be happy and free" as your final expression
of compassion for the earth. You are free to create mantras that are
any length, any number of lines, or any combination of those.

6. Triangle Meditation
We frequently picture meditating with a serene mind that is simply
tuned to peaceful ocean sounds. Although that sounds ideal, most
people can't really aim for it. You may utilize counting and
breathing patterns to get relaxation advantages rather than aiming
for something aspirational. One of the most basic meditation types
is a technique known as triangle meditation (Thomas, 2020).
This is where you visualize four counts of breath up the side of the
triangle to the top, pause, four counts of breath down the side of the
triangle on the exhale, and four counts to complete the triangle
when all air is released from the lungs. As long as it seems
comfortable to you, keep doing the visualization. Eventually, you
will have a better posture and be able to connect your body with
your mind.

Final Thoughts
Conclusively, having a mind to body connection ensures that you
are able to immerse yourself-in positivity. When you are aware of
the beauty your body holds, your confidence is heightened and you
are able to direct everyone’s attention towards yourself. However,
in order to be confident, you will have to establish a peaceful

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connection with your body for which meditation is your best bet.
There are several types of meditation methods such as tapping or
body scan, whichever one you choose, remember to have fun and
enjoy yourself. With that being said, did you know that finding your
unique and personal style can alleviate your confidence and help
you stand out from the crowd? Keep reading to find out how you
can develop your own personal brand!

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 CHAPTER 9
FIND YOUR PERSONAL STYLE
‘Affirmation: I am worthy of the safety that allows me to be soft.’
― Kierra C.T. Banks

Your personal style is an advocate of your sensuality and

confidence. In this age, when people are chained with ‘people
pleasing’ tendencies and eagerly becoming a victim of the validation
culture that is rampant on social media, having a personal style can
be hard. Especially, as a woman who is told what to wear and how
to wear often through social media blogs and magazines, it’s almost
like a blackhole that keeps sucking you in it’s darkness. But, when
you embrace your individuality and personal style, nothing can stop
you from leaving your mark on people and reaching for success.
So, what is personal style and why is it important?
Your individuality is reflected in your unique style. It represents the
characteristics of your personality, including what you like and
dislike about yourself. Your clothing expresses more about you than
just a few pieces of fabric sewn together. However, the seas of
fashion accessories, colors, and patterns might be confusing.
Creating your own personal brand can be difficult but once you
have mastered your personal style, there is no stopping you!

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Importance Of Personal Style
Personal style has the ability to evoke a wide range of emotions,
particularly if it's perceived as something unique to fashion
magazines, influencers, and the wealthy, giving the impression of a
total fashion metamorphosis as seen in the Pretty Woman done by
Julia Roberts. Nevertheless, regardless of identity, everyone should
have access to their own style. Unfortunately, the term "style" has
become confused with other ideas in the quick-paced digital world
of today, leading to a variety of perceptions and levels of relevance.
As a result, we have lost sight of how important our own aesthetic
is to our lives in the midst of the deluge of "trends" on social media
and other technological platforms (Gulati, 2018).
In actuality, the clothes we wear every day have a history and can
affect how we feel, behave, and behave in social situations. Our
appearance conveys who we are, how we see the world, and how
capable we are of handling any circumstance with integrity. Most
people are naturally aware of the importance and power of clothing,
and they choose proper attire for "important" situations in order to
express their individuality and personality. The ability of clothing
to affect our thoughts has long been known, and scientists have even
named this phenomenon "Enclothed Cognition" to describe it
(Gulati, 2018). A once-basic requirement has transformed into an
art form and a tool for communication, enabling people to show
their socioeconomic rank, place in society, and line of work.
Our clothing choices affect not just how we display ourselves to
others but also how we feel about ourselves and behave. According
to research, dressing professionally increases one's sensation of
power and control and also communicates higher levels of

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intelligence and creativity. In a society where we continually seek to
exhibit our best selves and thrive, personal style provides for
individualism and the chance to become one's "Best Version"
(Gulati, 2018).

How To Find Your Personal Style

It can be difficult to find your own personal style but always
remember to wear what makes you feel good about yourself. As you
have seen throughout the previous chapter, I have placed an
emphasis on ‘when you look good, you feel good’. Here are 2 ways
you can find your personal style:

1. Choose your personality design

To begin with, you must ascertain your identity. Consider what best
sums up your morals and personality.Improve your fashion sense
and physical appearance to reflect who you are. You want
individuals to associate you with your appearance and your
distinctive personal style.
Keep in mind that even though the apparel is gorgeous, it might not
fit you or be your style. Be sure to invest the amount of time and
energy necessary to develop your personal style and discover what
flatters you.
"Your clothing can reveal your feelings, goals, patterns of
expenditure, and purposeful consumerism. (Gulati, 2018)"

2. Feel good about your style

"They say that what you wear defines you."

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Select dress that makes you feel more confident and that supports
brands that care about both people and the environment. It's
important to keep in mind that buying inexpensive clothing
supports the unethical behavior that plagues the fashion business.
Clothing can change how people see you, but more crucially, it can
change how you see yourself, according to psychotherapist and
author Dr. Jennifer Baumgartner (Gulati, 2018). Consider the
message your clothing conveys and choose ethical fashion as a
statement that is in line with your morals and values.
Moreover, another important aspect of branding your personal
style is ensuring that you enjoy your own company and are proud
of your individuality.

Alone time
The need for solitude to recharge from this hectic, noisy, world is
still uncommon where we live. It's acceptable to be part of a large
crowd, and less so than spending time with another person. In your
twenties, you're considered strange if you have a small number of
close friends rather than an enormous group of people you merely
hangout with.
Specifically single women of all ages are criticized for being
unmarried or actively preferring to live alone; this is because being
quiet and reserved breeds the perception that someone is bland and
careless. This is especially startling considering how frequently we
are exposed to other people's noise these days. All of it is constantly
there in our pockets throughout the day. Everywhere we turn, the
highlight reels of other people's lives serve to remind us of our own
loneliness, and to make us feel bad for occasionally preferring it.

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You become more conscious of your personal qualities when you
are alone. You develop greater self-awareness by spending more
time alone rather than becoming lost in a crowd of people (Hogan,
2016).
For one, you begin to discover what you enjoy, as there's no one else
you might have to compromise for. The idea that spending time
with yourself-is selfish or that it should only be valued during
"mental health" days is false. In actuality, it is equally crucial to
everything else
We cannot communicate to others what we value or enjoy doing if
we do not know ourselves or are not aware of these things.
Maintaining friendships and a variety of connections, romantic or
not, can be difficult when we don't realize our own value.

How to exercise solitude

Creating and integrating a habit cannot be done in a matter of a few
days, it will take you a few months to fully immerse yourself-in it.
It's done gradually over time. Instead of making drastic changes to
your life and never seeing anyone else again, start small. Try to
slowly install a habit where you spend time alone with yourself.
Take some time out of your day to be by yourself-if you don't
already. This is the simplest approach to spending more time with
yourself. Take yourself-out for coffee, have dinner alone and read a
book, or even go to the movies—I did that this week, and watch the
newest James Bond movie, and I heartily suggest it.
Take some time to acknowledge your ideas in these circumstances
and then let them go. Let your thoughts wander. After all, you won't
be having many conversations out loud. There are always methods

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to find more time for oneself, but the number of hours in the day
cannot be increased. It's important to give it priority and continue
with it. Solitude may seem alienating, but its benefits can bring us
closer to other people and strengthen relationships in the long term.
After all, if we don't know and appreciate ourselves, nobody else
can.

In the end
In a nutshell, having a personal style can help you stand out from
the crowd and appreciate the unique characteristics that you have.
Every human being is born with a set of features that separates them
from one another; however, in today’s rush to stay on trend, we
often forget about all the wonder and distinguishing elements that
we were born with.
So, be proud of who you are.
Now that you are equipped with how you can improve your self-
confidence and embrace your dark goddess, it’s time for you to help
other women as well. Stay tuned to learn how you can help uplift
your fellow goddesses.

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 CHAPTER 10
KNOW YOUR WORTH
“Behind every great woman… is another great woman.”
— Kate Hodges

In this age of digitalisation and power movements, women need to

support each other. It is now more important than ever to make
sure that you are able to help your fellow goddesses achieve success
in their own ways because as we walk into societal changes, we are
increasingly exposed to society trying to pit women against each
other as if we are the ones putting each other down. However,
before we dive into some of the ways you can help other women, it’s
important for you to know your worth. This includes shunning
your people's pleasing tendencies and creating formidable
boundaries.

Boundaries
Your sense of self-worth and the limits you place on yourself-are
intimately intertwined. Boundaries are typically more clearly
established for people who have better self-esteem. Let's first
identify limits so that we may examine why this is the case in more
detail.

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You may show that you are in control of your life by establishing
personal limits. Your actions and responses are determined by how
you choose to be handled (Johnson et al., 2021). We can't always
control what happens in our life, but we often have the power to
indicate to people in our personal contacts whether or not a specific
behavior will be permitted by using words or actions. Here are 4
ways you can create and preserve healthy boundaries:

1. Be consistent with boundaries

Letting your boundaries slip can cause uncertainty and spark new
demands and expectations from those around you.
Try to maintain consistency and steadiness. This ensures that those
boundaries remain unambiguously established and helps to
reinforce your initial limits and beliefs.

2. Set healthy boundaries on social media

These platforms enable more communication than ever, but they
have also greatly facilitated the blurring of boundaries. Behind these
platforms, there's some incredible oversharing happening, and
research reveals that more than half of women worry that family,
and friends, would post private information or images that they
don't want made publicly available.
Your worries are still relevant if a certain conduct crosses
boundaries in real life as well as online. You don't have to expose
yourself-to social media that's upsetting you. So, reinforce your
boundaries when it comes to social media.

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3. Practice self-love
Self-love is necessary for boundaries to have a solid foundation. It
will be challenging to set limits that will safeguard you, if you have
a story in your head that tells you are unworthy and useless. A lot
of it boils down to one's sense of self-worth and value.
It doesn't take much to begin promoting this way of thinking. Your
internal dialogue will shift and you'll feel more deserved the more
often you participate in activities that release feel-good hormones,
like singing, running, or whatever you want to do — things that feed
your own heart.

4. Communicate when boundaries are crossed

Communication is critical in the world of boundaries, especially if
someone consistently oversteps yours. These conversations don't
have to be heated; you just might need to voice your worries. So
always be sure to communicate when people have crossed their
boundaries.

Avoid Chasing People

There must be a fair amount of giving and receiving in every
relationship, romantic or platonic, for it to succeed. Relationships
give people a sense of belonging, yet when compassion is only
shown in one direction, the other person feels abandoned. Some
individuals have made it a practice to increase their efforts to earn
the other person's affection in the wake of rejection (Britz et al.,
2022). This only causes additional suffering over time. Here are 3
ways you can avoid chasing people and instead attract them towards
you:

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1. Develop your current connections.
Your energy may be depleted, and you may neglect other crucial
relationships in your circle of life if you spend all of your time
chasing after other people. If you happen to have any long-lasting
relationships, they ought to be treasured and also receive care.
Think about reinvested in connections with individuals who worry
about you rather than connections with others who are
uninterested in you (Britz et al., 2022).

2. Create room
Give the person you're pursuing some space to see if you're wasting
your time on a friendship or a possible romance. Put an end to all
communication with them and observe whether they start to show
interest in you. It's a win-win situation because either they will
begin to miss you, acknowledge your value, and reach out, or they
will ghost you for an indefinite time. Being ghosted qualifies as a
win since it exposes the other person's character and nullifies any
effort that might have been made to keep the connection going
(Britz et al., 2022).

3. Take the pedestal down

People desire others because they perceive them as greater in some
way. Therefore, gaining someone else's love is sort of like the
supreme goal. However, idealizing others does no one any favors.
According to research, people dislike being too idealized and
actually tend to keep their distance from others who do so. The
idealization of people has the additional drawback of making you
blind to their flaws. Therefore, whenever the idealized individual
exhibits undesirable behavior, it is disregarded. Considering that

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these individuals are also human before idealizing someone you
don't really know. They are just as flawed as another person, and
neither you nor they are superior to the other (Britz et al., 2022).
With that being said, remember to always be kind to everyone
around you. Even though you are supposed to embrace your
assertiveness and channel your inner dark goddess, it’s important
to be empathetic towards people, especially your fellow goddesses.

How to support other women

It’s important for women to help each other out in difficult
situations, without any judgment. Here are 5 ways you can support
your fellow goddesses:

1. Listen patiently
Sadly, in today's world, true listening is a lost art. Most people only
pay attention once they know what they need to know or when they
are ready to respond. You can actively listen to your friend or
another woman’s problems by:

Paying attention
Showing that you’re paying attention through body language
Providing feedback
Don’t be judgmental
Respond like a friend (Cameron, 2018)

2. Fight for women’s education

Empowering women must always begin with our daughters. You
should embody positivity. Telling her she's gorgeous is not what this

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means. It entails reminding yourself, in her presence, that you are
beautiful. It signifies preaching and encouraging women to secure
higher and advanced education and take on managerial roles in
their lives (Cameron, 2018).
Barriers that have already been overcome for our younger
generations create avenues to achievement and, perhaps, inculcate
in these developing young women a much more rewarding,
wholehearted life.

3. Grow the network

Getting out of the vulnerability zone now, introducing women to
other women is a great way to support and empower them.
Having a group of other women to bounce thoughts and ideas off
of, or even just to commiserate with (especially with new
parenthood!) may ease what might otherwise be a stressful situation
for someone who is new to town, the neighborhood, or even
parenthood (Cameron, 2018).

4. Compliment your female colleagues

An encouraging phrase from a fellow woman might brighten your
day whether you're having a terrible day or are feeling low on self-
esteem, so return the favor and compliment her back. An
unfavorable day can be made better by something as basic as a
female coworker complimenting your fresh haircut.
Never undervalue the impact of compliments. They are effective
because they meet our fundamental human need for acceptance.
Tell a woman when you admire anything about her the following
time. Tell your supervisor that she looks amazing if she is wearing

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a stylish jacket or outfit (Cameron, 2018). Tell your coworker how
much you appreciate her amazing suggestion if it comes up in a
meeting.

5. Celebrate Accomplishments
You undoubtedly learn about mistakes you make at work right
away. Does the same thing occur when you do something good,
though? Nope. (Cameron, 2018)
Why not alter the culture and shout out and be glad of one another's
accomplishments? Celebrating accomplishments and anniversaries
is a wonderful way to feel valued and confident. Celebrating the
accomplishments of other women can inspire others to do the same
for you, which will increase your chances of success. Hence helping
each other out can truly have a positive impact on women and their
overall lives (Cameron, 2018).
This marks the end of our journey together, but you have a long way
to go. Now that you are equipped with the tools to embrace and
channel your dark femininity, and truly become a femme fatale, you
are also able to grow with the women around you. Be sure to always
lend a helping hand and never shy away from who you truly are!

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 CONCLUSION

In a nutshell, a femme fatale's most notable characteristic is her high

level of self-assurance, which is something you have thoroughly
explored in this book. She knows her worth and will not allow
anyone to convince her otherwise. Every woman has the ability to
seduce. The femme fatale is strong because she understands how to
exploit it. Because she is aware of it, and knows how to use it, she
exudes charisma and an aura that attracts attention. These are the
basics of what it takes to become a femme fatale.
Moreover, as you explored in chapter 1 and 2 the dark feminine
energy, or the shadow side of femininity, refers to a subset of
feminine energy often suppressed or undervalued by society. This
energy can manifest in destructive behaviors or actions, such as
jealousy, manipulation, and cruelty. However, it's important to note
that these negative traits are not inherently feminine or exclusively
attributed to women.
The concept of the divine feminine is the opposite of the dark
feminine, representing the positive, nurturing, and creative aspects
of femininity. Embracing the divine feminine means
acknowledging and valuing these qualities, and bringing them into
balance with the masculine energy in the world.
Suppressing the feminine energy in society can lead to an imbalance
of power and a disconnection from nature and spirituality.

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Therefore, both men and women need to recognize and honor the
divine feminine to achieve harmony and balance in the world.
However, unlike the divine goddess, Kali and Persephone have a
different story to tell. By acknowledging and embracing the dark
goddess, we learn to accept and integrate all parts of ourselves,
including the shadowy aspects that we may not be proud of. This
acceptance leads to a greater sense of wholeness and empowerment.
The Dark Goddess is often associated with transformation and
rebirth, as she challenges us to face our fears and transform our
limitations into strengths.
Furthermore, chapter 3 allowed you to understand how you can
fully realize your divine essence, stand in your power, and create a
more harmonious world. A woman must embrace the sacred
feminine. This does not mean operating solely from feminine
energy, but rather understanding the full range of power as both
feminine and masculine beings, and cultivating the energy when
necessary. You also became aware of the ways your feminine energy
can be blocked and how you can unblock it.
Most women experience an override of masculine energy, which
they believe is necessary to succeed in their careers and in the world.
However, these women need to recognize and embrace their innate
feminine energy, even as they navigate a world that values
masculine qualities.
A woman who sources her creativity and energy from taking
exquisite care of herself-is more powerful than one who exhausts
herself-by pushing too hard and experiencing no joy or pleasure.
Thus, even if they are CEOs or stay- at-home mothers, embracing
and finding power in their feminine qualities is key to their success.

131
Similarly, being a confident person also incites your ability to be a
femme fatale. However, our society as a whole is rigid and inflexible
with women. While that might come to you as a blunt statement, It
has some level of truth to it. Setting aside the energies that are
roaming within us, it’s plausible to think that women have to play
different roles and adjust to different wavelengths thrown by the
society at them to survive; all while their male counterparts have an
easier way out. For example, in a workplace women are often
regarded as problematic if they are assertive. There is a whole new
language set aside for women, specifically when it comes to
confident women. But, to break this glass ceiling that you find
yourself-trapped within, it’s important to improve your confidence.
Therefore, in order to become confident, it’s important for you to
instill charisma and mystery within your personality. Interestingly,
people who are brave and take risks often make others feel secure,
and we tend to trust and follow those who embody the traits we
admire. Becoming a great leader may not be the goal, but
developing the ability to persuade and gain support for one's ideas
can be beneficial in many areas of life. So, in order to cultivate
charisma in your life, it’s important for you to link your feminine
energy with your actions and perspectives. Become a persuasive
communicator, slow your speech and master the art of flirting. So,
don’t be shy to mingle with people and throw in little flirts here and
there. Lastly, lift other women up through compliments or small
gestures of kindness. You have what it takes to be an incredibly
successful woman, don’t let society pull you down.
Nevertheless, I’d love to read about your experiences as a woman,
and how you were able to embrace your dark feminine energy. Be
sure to leave a review on Amazon’s website on how this book

132
expanded your knowledge and guided you— it might also be
beneficial for other people who want to learn more about becoming
a femme fatale.

133
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