THE HORSE'S TALE

by

K,Tt BLUTH and A. K A V A N

GABERBOCCHUS PRESS LIMITED, LONDON

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"-·, ..~.t : ·•·T hatw_as ~-t1i tim_--.-e

...- ·_.-_··_,f.'.: .fo/ us ho.rs~s o-we_usedto. s.ta~.
·~. ••r :~\ ,;'.
. ,, '•.
· · ,: J : _around_withempty faces! unsheltered, unfed; ':"ewere no- 'l'::,./-- v·:':-
,·' •' ,.
•/l, .: • body's business. Forei~ners had inva~ed_th~ country, wo~ • . . . _·_.·.
:_-_~'j_.••.·.-•.:·,··,·,.·_;;~:
:- ...~.-.··,
.. .i ,· _.an the ~atdes, kille~ off aU .the .fi_ghtingth~n, raped the • ' ,.;_
I d- ~ , ·.
,r _:·.women, taken pris.oner the•king himself. Houses and whole .•.. ·: ,:·~_::,
•:~~·-
.-.
_,. '• • l
... "'.l~ilg~~we,:e on fire, whereveioyou l~oked you saw smoke: '. ,.,} ' (~ :\ :
1
. ·_,_.,/; . rts1~.gmt.o_the sky~It was pretty atmghts;.the ve_ryclouds. ··.:_. :,-.·.•-1':-(<:;::
..::

□_·
'. ,, '.
•. '· - s~med to_be burning, re~ and yellow flames.laughed and· • •••.•• · i ··.;__ :·<\\;
••·,t- • danced ·in the wini But for. those of us_who wer~ shut·_· ·~ _.! .:_:; }/·.: • •.,•
- .. ,
: ..;r
"\ ·,•. ,,,. .•. ~~ .... t
upin. the stables ot'oqr dead masters th~·experience wasn't ~
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" ~. ............
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.• .-; .. ' ' • ' ,. . ; •. J:
i,

·:exactiy"plea.sa~t:;we _had·s·een the yellow ~Orn burnt·to ,_.

,-:..:·\_J
\ -'black 'ash._'w~ had seen .children sta~ving _on_~corns a~d .. :'.1"·,
·y1 ¾-.
fi~htingt~e mangy ·cats for a bite-of ~o~-d;Even the fox~s
. ·.\ver_e. starving. How ·could we ii~rses expect. to be fed; ,- • \f ..
)_11'
\,I~_,:'••,.:--,
/.:t' ••
.standing ill ·night lo~g in the r.~lentlessly falling .rain?
i::i~i •spec-imens of -h~rseflesb we were, ne;er~heless.
' . ' •

_.-_,Some of us came from far countries, driven·bythe invaders··

-fr~m distant homes .• Some had lived all thei~ lives here'.· ,. - • ~
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......,
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,: ·sorrie, .like myself, belonged> to the ~risto~taticJ Arabian ,:. -._

·:str~in. Othe~~ ·wer~ sturdy" d~a~ght~h~rses, living ~nd dy·-·-',.•
.ing :loy~lly, 'like' the muscular hard-working peasa!1ts for.
;ho~ they ·t~iled. •Now ~~ wen~ all _in the· sa~e boat,
Copy.right
1949b G • •. • ' • ••·d- ;b~·n_doned alike by the i~vader~·and .our ri.ghtful ~w~ers.
.. . Y aberbocchusPres~Limited, Lon on - -· . ' •••
' PrintedbyM0 lJ w· · " · · 5•9
. - ·_ mterGmbH.,Liibedc,Topferwes,1,.,
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 . -h razing to keep ·us going. But.
. as enoug g It looked as if we were don~ for. We w~re only flt to
At first there w . the leaves from the trees and the
as autumn snatched . h frost, it wasn ' t 6 n ly t h e mares .-_- 1 be rounded up and driven ~ff to the siaughter. All over
fazed w1.t • ...,-- the country, black moving swarms of flies marked .the
ponds.becameg d. ~ ed and lost weight. The flelds
ters who r0 p •-? melancholy processions of horses, driven by ragged bare-
and youngs h' was dying off except the flies
Everyt mg l footed lads w_hodidn't even care when living beasts were .
· grew barren,. . bed in the refuse and aftermath of
b d and f}oUflS J stolen. or. torn down by the wolves. These raw youths •
which re h h shrivelled grass horses stumbled 1 ,J
• Throug t e . •• couldn't so much as distinguish between one horse and
destrUction. . t weak and coughing, with staring ,1
l1·ke ghosts
· in the mis 'ough to keep on t h eir feet. .'1 another; they failed to see that some were race horses·or
oats hardly strong en
c ' . .
.
or in small groups, the peasants 'i
J highly-trained animals which surely deserved to be saved
Meanwhile,sing1Y . , from the common fate.
. b cl<to the villages. The foreigners left the j "Where are they taking us?" horses asked one another
were coming a . . • . ·~,
d subdued; their ships sailed m _orderly .., . _ _hopelessly_. "Are they driving us to camps where we'lt be
country they ha . >J
ur wide rivers and finally disappeared _ 1 forced to work until we die of starvation?" •
squadrons down .0 . . • . • .~
and women emerged from hidmg, sheep :, One of us appoi~ted himself a sort. of leader and said
out to sea. Men -
·ous1yrepopulated the folds. People set ~ _that we must organize· ourselves into a party - that was
and cows myst er1 . •j
b ding their houses pooling their. poor stocks of •1 our only hope. Personally, I didn't want to become involv-
a out men . ' . . • • ~~
ed with him or his plans. I had only to look at the· young
-com, eggs,milk, cneese and fruit. _.:_.~
Therewasn'tenoughfood for human beings, let alone . ,i, •~ooligans who were in charge of us to· see where we·were
h~a~ing. It was. all up; we were doomed to go down the •
horses. Why should we be allowed tp stand uselessly •
• r•
.·dr~n. I'd been a cir~us horse in my time; and I couldn't
round the villages? We were no good to ourselves or to •·:
help·1~ughingsardonically and going through some of:my
anyone else - unless we could be sent to the slaughter.·
P~fes. Associate myself with this riff-raff? Not ·1ik~iy
!
house. There, indeed, we were worth a _good deal; our
Didn't the_poor stupid creatures realize that they w~re •
skins, hair and flesh had a market value. It turned out
•dedicated to the sausage 'machin~? Were they so du~b ·as
that, dead, we were •just what the .peasants needed to·
• to belie~e that Gregor would be saved on account of his gre·
helpthem through the hard winter. Fed on our substance, _ garlousness, or that class-conscious George would escape
strengthened by our strength, men could quite well take the.common fat~ by forming us into a party? I must have
our place,_ploughing -and sowing the fields, even pulling 1

, been~ bit feverish in-spite of the cold, for I started neighing

' .
carts aod waggons themselves. 7
6
 '.- : --- -_-- _---
· . d d ncmg
. 'andprancm2JU
- ; - ~-- : st~sl'~do~~~~~hest~~iOt~e
.., •. -h .·.-, '., .. • •
n, -·'.~
•
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·<'.\' - ·,:. ':-, '
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_
an .1~a Nonsense.rhymes floated throug . my head ...-: ·.' ..-i .. ·The -y-outh·.had :riothino . . . o
·to .say.
.to-this_ e,ccept,·"Jesus- .• .-. ..
•. : >. . •-:-:
old uaJ5• ' ' . ' . ' . . - .. ' • . •• . _.. •., . " . , .. . • .• .··,: ..• •. ,• - . ·,
• hb •ou'11be slam, .:: ·_.- . · • ·/ ·, •.· ' _·.·-/ wept!" to which I quickly answered, And-well He ~1_ght... -· ~ ·_.. •: • ,•
. ·"One day Kat ar, y ·.. . : • - . ._,- ._.,. . ... . . - . . •... . - • . , ... - -·
•,·· I a' the drain,,_·~·:· ... , , , r know ·we're h<:adedstraight (or the ~laughter h_ouse;-but·, '. •.. - ~.:.,·_
. . Jn the end go ow~ . .. > -· . ···· ·.-: · · · - k ·. ,, ·· . . • • • •
:-_:. · h ith blood and.rain. ~ - • (·.., • I can ta e .1t. , ·'. , .. - . . _.• ·-·? •• ·- -:·•-" .· • • 1
_ • • •.•

•·Wet enoug w • • · • • -_.:~._:-->_·.·.

:{_·:_.:··.-_.·
._·: ~~Inthe ·end we ali g~ do~n-the drai~!'_'My own w~r_ds.-_ • .<·-•_·_:_·: ·:··-
. , : . , . Keep the tears from your eyes: • . ' . • • • • ../ •
' . . f 1dn't keep off these flies. . ._ were thrown at me .tauntingly.-. :_:. , . . __ . __ .r ,..
i
.. , Chnst Himse1 _co_u • • , . , : •. : . , .. , .:! . _·"What's reli~io!1but a chain?" I c~>ntinu~dthe ':'ersify- ~ c, • i-\ . ,-:: •..
l •; -:-. ·Beyourself - take you~ chance·. • '- • . --~-~-
._-
.. , i_ - • •
· , • h d ,,, .. •· ,>"-_'\,'. ) •· ing ·in·.rathe_r a pompous tone. ·M.y_ stage· training cam·e. •.:. :- . -•.'"..
I •.
f. : .·:. . ~
Godownthedrainwit a ance_._-.·',.
· h
. , . -·
,
- •
., ·;back ·to me automatically, so that l moved sedately and
, ._. •• :,
•·,
1 • T'he·youth who ~as driving__u_~ cam_-~. r_us ing u_p,in_dig- : :f • • - • • ••• • •_ • .,. • . •• •••- •••
f· - _.; · elongated my face to imi'tate an ecclesi~sti_calcol:(ntenance_·.' - ··:>'' .':,-•
th s
. · . n~nt1y wanting.to know_ e cause of e-p~ofan~ di t:urb-•...::J I could·altno~t imagine.the o·rder of_Merit dangli~g round:'
th - --.,· -~~'-
._.. nds·houting-atthetop·ofhisvoice:·"Theremayhe .. ·.. ::):,·. ·:. • · ·- .. • • - •• -· -. • ·• .• ·.. .. __
- ance,_a . . . -· . . , ; my ne~ or a laurel wreath encir.c1ing,my ·ears. : . -, .::_::·-: .. ·
. flies on you and _me.-butthere ain't 'no ~ies_o~Je.sus !" : • ::'j •.· . '-~-~ut.)t o'utf?' the boy exclaimed :_ru-de.1:f·:".Y ou· w~n't'.- < . ·:·
• .•• I
·''That's o.K·.··vori't ge_t_
••.J
~xdted !" I,a_n_ swer_ed back, fee.1-_.- .·· • • · • • • •_1... • • h. • 1· n·· •
escape anarcnism, or. •el re ..eit er, yjust. puttingh • b •• •... , • - ··on
• • •' , .••·,•••..: :· •.
•ingreck1e,sssincd'dn~:more~olose:."I'in·n~t-bl~sph_em~us- -1-an act.; But.yort've··got gut~, and for wh~t:it's WQ~th 1~1i.-'.•\·.--·__
·.:·,.
• • ..bynature~bµt this ~ang i~:e~_OU8h
to make asaint ~w-ear.,...,J •giv~ y~u ~y advke. ~·go ·: : .•~
i~to th~ ·cll~rch 'at· once;. :~hat:·_• ,-:_.-
-. •.o_utfit; !hey· ,:}j one :there. on t4eside.of the hill. ·with,y~ur gift~ you m·a/ ••..•••- ·--~
, ,..A11I want is to get ~~ay from.:t~e. mi~·era_b1e .:·_.
• are anarchists, aren't they? George:the~e evidently fan:-:·:_} , e·ven become :a·churcll.
' i., • •. • • ,.
~ard~n -~- who knows?;~ And he·. - • • •
~ • • ... ~... ~ • .,

' cies.himself_as,~party boss.'·' , I

.. _:___ ., : ,'._•';~.•-:': ., ·~ave·me:~ tremend~u~·-·whack·o~ th~ fump toenco~rage ,,:_.._.,.··:·:
• .. : "so:what?".said the boy, who app?rentiy:w~_sn't as.duH ·:... :_.·)ne··o·n ~y-way~ .Out cith_~ ~~~ner of 'my-eye- i s·~w him_·._i·- '.:::·.-::__,-_
_( . andrmedµcated~~-rpost_of-bi~-~i~d..:·':'Do.yousuppose,that"s •• ·•••bra~dishing ~--schooJmast:er's cane:;-per.haps thi very_·one:··: _;,:.:.-::-~-
.-._·goingJo:-save_his_n·~ck.?
__But-_yo·u.'r~-a
diffe;en/~opositio_~ .• -i •,son~e Audet .had\~sed to beat out. his.classi~ai'me~res .. .:._; •• ·_·. •
•entirely.How kit you can taJk and ~ing and even mdke• -.·_·-_-·
•-_·_ •Was I to ~xdi~ngethe thre.it: of i;he slaughter hous~ fo; • • • •_:,-.'
up poetry on your:'wayto the sI~ughter'hou~e_?':You'H
b,e ,_:•.- that 0~ a ·-schpolmas'ter's·cane?Not'on your life!.To enter . ,,
._
.. · --te11ing
me·next·th4t -y~u'vere~d AudeJ.and Enien:." . ~.:. .• 'the·clmrdi would be fa~ bet~~r.tha~ that.In fact; whe~ I·- .\
' !'What'-s,theconnexionbet;eenth~mandme?';l~sked· •.·: . re~ch,ed the .•buildipg~I felt a·st;ong compuls.ionto·g,oin-. -~
him,"Audelis quite it he-man;_
llt tollgh~ariy gangste;. Ati'd - \ • sid~. Th~· Sinii~g of th~ \;hoir s~llnd~d sWeet; candle~ •
Eni~n,a?yhow,wi11bekept free fro~ flies.".:.
• • • ' • • ~
. .:•
• • I
se~ the 'infantJe~u/t;ing
. hurn~d;_l ~:~~_1d
/ \ •;' 'f, • i ·: •,• I .. / I• : • ., • f
~sieep
without',
> '• •

8 •, . I, • . : \' ·• ' : -.,

• ' , .. 9
• I
 . -h razing to keep ·us going. But.
. as enoug g It looked as if we were don~ for. We w~re only flt to
At first there w . the leaves from the trees and the
as autumn snatched . h frost, it wasn ' t 6 n ly t h e mares .-_- 1 be rounded up and driven ~ff to the siaughter. All over
fazed w1.t • ...,-- the country, black moving swarms of flies marked .the
ponds.becameg d. ~ ed and lost weight. The flelds
ters who r0 p •-? melancholy processions of horses, driven by ragged bare-
and youngs h' was dying off except the flies
Everyt mg l footed lads w_hodidn't even care when living beasts were .
· grew barren,. . bed in the refuse and aftermath of
b d and f}oUflS J stolen. or. torn down by the wolves. These raw youths •
which re h h shrivelled grass horses stumbled 1 ,J
• Throug t e . •• couldn't so much as distinguish between one horse and
destrUction. . t weak and coughing, with staring ,1
l1·ke ghosts
· in the mis 'ough to keep on t h eir feet. .'1 another; they failed to see that some were race horses·or
oats hardly strong en
c ' . .
.
or in small groups, the peasants 'i
J highly-trained animals which surely deserved to be saved
Meanwhile,sing1Y . , from the common fate.
. b cl<to the villages. The foreigners left the j "Where are they taking us?" horses asked one another
were coming a . . • . ·~,
d subdued; their ships sailed m _orderly .., . _ _hopelessly_. "Are they driving us to camps where we'lt be
country they ha . >J
ur wide rivers and finally disappeared _ 1 forced to work until we die of starvation?" •
squadrons down .0 . . • . • .~
and women emerged from hidmg, sheep :, One of us appoi~ted himself a sort. of leader and said
out to sea. Men -
·ous1yrepopulated the folds. People set ~ _that we must organize· ourselves into a party - that was
and cows myst er1 . •j
b ding their houses pooling their. poor stocks of •1 our only hope. Personally, I didn't want to become involv-
a out men . ' . . • • ~~
ed with him or his plans. I had only to look at the· young
-com, eggs,milk, cneese and fruit. _.:_.~
Therewasn'tenoughfood for human beings, let alone . ,i, •~ooligans who were in charge of us to· see where we·were
h~a~ing. It was. all up; we were doomed to go down the •
horses. Why should we be allowed tp stand uselessly •
• r•
.·dr~n. I'd been a cir~us horse in my time; and I couldn't
round the villages? We were no good to ourselves or to •·:
help·1~ughingsardonically and going through some of:my
anyone else - unless we could be sent to the slaughter.·
P~fes. Associate myself with this riff-raff? Not ·1ik~iy
!
house. There, indeed, we were worth a _good deal; our
Didn't the_poor stupid creatures realize that they w~re •
skins, hair and flesh had a market value. It turned out
•dedicated to the sausage 'machin~? Were they so du~b ·as
that, dead, we were •just what the .peasants needed to·
• to belie~e that Gregor would be saved on account of his gre·
helpthem through the hard winter. Fed on our substance, _ garlousness, or that class-conscious George would escape
strengthened by our strength, men could quite well take the.common fat~ by forming us into a party? I must have
our place,_ploughing -and sowing the fields, even pulling 1

, been~ bit feverish in-spite of the cold, for I started neighing

' .
carts aod waggons themselves. 7
6
 f.
1
. • • • • Him ~lthough he was surround • Y••
1 f1 anywhere near ' ,
a sing e Y .. imals the lamb, the ass and th Resting half asleep near the holy crib, I felt as· if I'd
ed b the trad1t1ona1 an ' . . e i ·,
Y • . . after my many hardships, to con- • been restored by a miracle to rriy proper place. Life no
cow. What b11s~it was, d' W 't. I t
. . 1 celestial farmyar • asn oo, by longer seemed terrifying and cruel; it still contained hope.
template this ca m
. an artist and therefore one of God's Why, I might even get back ultimately to the circus! The
virtue of my dancmg, . ' . •.1
...1..·td , Deeply· moved by the beauttfuf scene girls would come to watch my dancing; the professor
chosen cnt ren . ,
1down and profess the Catholic faith • • , would test my intelligence 'and reward me with a lump_.
f was readY to knee .~
uty and culture were one: and .if Mo- • -~ of sugar. I would read, write and add up figures: I'd be·
there and t hen. Bea • 1
washed and groomed and mounted by an accomplished
ther Churchwas the last stronghold of,beauty, why should - • ,~ ' . .

•I rider who would show off my paces to the best advan-

i •tat
one h esr e to make a choice between mysticism and 1
-,
1
t- j tage. Of course, I was getting too old for the race-course; . ,_
death? :j but I was still handsome, even it' my brains were livelier
"Religion is a chain,." I found myself muttering. Was . :::,
than my hoofs. Really, I was in the prime of life; and_if
1 lightheaded a~ a result of my sufferings, _or had some • .r:l it was the intellectual rather than the physical prime, what
stinging insect injected me with its poison?. But then I ►. 1·-" • did that matter?
7

realized that a peaceful unfamiliar stillness existed in my ~~- The candles illuminated my drowsy thoughts with a •
immediate neighborhood; not a sill.glefly had followed me •. k mystic light. ·Self-confidence came back to me, I seem~d
into the church, there was no tormenting buzz going on _:i.i about to recover my lost happiness. I almost thought I'd
in the region either of my nose, eres and ears, or of my . get up and perform a ritual dance of thanksgiving. I could '_•
1
tail. For the first time for weeks I was fre~ from flies. J ~~ hardly restrain a reverent bound of delight. These church
,'

knelt down beside the cow and the lamb. For the time •i officials were su're to employ trie; I'd be absolutely in~:--
beingl felt calm and secure - saved, temporarily anyhow, valuable to them fo~ christenings, weddings_and funerals
' '

from the drain. . . . So the night •came with -its dream;, ....
·
In my exhausted state I soon dozed off, and woke again • The next day I found myself in the churchyard, grazing
some time later.The churchw~s warm; there was a sme11of and stamping about round the graves. It was·not actually •
• I . •

incense and wax candles. My heavy eyes saw peaceable faces raining, though there was 'moistur~ in the air. Beautifully
moving about, far off, -likeshapes in a dre~m.- No one dis·. shaped clouds hung motionless overhead, each one with
turbed me. Sweet music of pipes and oboes sounded, as its central being, each one with its ·peaceful heart. Sunlight _
though a shepherd were playingthoughtfullyto his flock•• fell like silver dust on the clouds. How quiet they were!

fO 11
":it·'.
'.
~ j 1: .
>.:'.: •. · .·· :,:_·-:: ressi~ntha~soi~o~~ ha; :ive~~e'a goo~ ·J ·~·-~-'/
\ · : · • • I had the ~~p :
> ··'· ....· "- '· :::_)c '.'.:<·ii·.·•··,,_:_.:. ·:::.
ch fu.l a~d anxious to· get i' • • -.. r :_ ·. with ine and I'll loo~ ,afteryou. Come to fny villag~, sbare -·.••:, :
· • • •
>\ >;:__
·~
:. , . . . - d feehng eer .
. .
r . . 1 nto , J ~ • • • • •• • • • - • •
• ;--,• ·~·:·, ••J. feed of oats, an .', · , · . • - exercises and • . .·: : • . my daily life: we will work, talk, eat, praise Qod, tog~ther'. . ,--..••
·~~\. _ .. _._ . . . lb an to practise.my. . . gytn.. .:.·: ._. . • - • . -. . •. • •• •.• _.
~ 1'·: . : ~-: .:. . trairungagain, eg . - · b b · d.- . . , . · •. . , . ·_• ._·A1l our Joys, wornes ~nd prayers ~111 be ~ncotnmo~ •.W:e· ••• , ,,
,: . •... :._·.:nasties, in whi~ I wa~ soon~ _sor: G dlh ,· ( ·,, ·h.-· .->< ·. '. willgrowfondof.e~chother,~alkthro~ghthefields,plough-· ., .
· · • ,vrt. you up to now. oo eavens, ow ~ • • • • •
:' , · , . . . "Hello! w uat are •. • k _'· _, and dream, see the clouds reflected in the stream where •-
I· · . . · ·.d ce !" The interruption too me by · ~... . . . . • . •. . • • _. • • _. _ - -•
L· ·. , _.. .- splendidly you can -~n . . ,. • · . . • . • · _. ,·\ . we bathe. Bells will nng over our heads. Ther~ w1,llbe no :··.·
/t ·.- .,_· . . · · . an.d .· ooked round
surpnse, 11 . . that Iwas
. . .. to find • be~ng watched
. · ,. , •• more war,,• All • the
- invaders
•• _have
• • gone.-'
• •
Ooti't •
get Upset
~ <, -.'..
.
•·_.· ·. •_ .
. .. by a p easan
t.though
. .rather·
. . . ste'rn-lo_~king
. .. .man ._..
with_a ruddy
. .. • • I9st
_j. •.- over •your ,,.• memory.
• W. ars are
• great
.- • • Whose.-.
destroyers. • • _ , ...
1
1
/ , '. : •.. , _face,very keen bright blue eyes, imd tbe general aspe~t O'j• _ memory COuldsur~ve a war? l myself.have lo~t allttiy '. t _·
'. _· '
0
Ofa fa~er, who weiit oti: "You're th e flrSt horse I've ever ; • , family;:sister,father; mends ~ 1 don't know if they'.re ••. • •
i :. \
' • • • ••' ~: •knownthaf co~ld danc~ as well'as i:ecite. You am~zed ~s ' •• ' . _dead or alive. On~ da)', possibly, they may return: Btit We.' • • • ~--
. ••· yes~enlay,in th,e.~llfch.
'-c-.10you kn~w, JOUwere de- :) . ' can't lh:J in th~ fuMer feeding ~~rs~lveson vague hOpes: : •••'._ , .
· •· _· ·_claiming poetry and_the· scn?tures -as if t_o _t~e manne~ .. ._;l _ . Come along ~1th me! I:m a _practicalman, I've rebuilt ~y _. • ••
· . bornI Whiit'Syour name, my dear chap? No doubt yoU • Ji , f~rm:'but there ate no farm-hands :ind I'm forCed·to work •,, ,_ •
·• · can write - ~te it down." • . ' l ·.'.very hard. [illtend t? breed pigs, cows and chickens so ·, ,,··,-
• • Obediently) moVedmy, hciofa~d wrote, "Kathba~1 on • { that at least .wi,'11have bacon; .milk and ~ggs. I'll ~ee that • ' •• • • :
the foOsesurf~ce_
ohi gravel path ~earby, ' .. . . • • • • : •• j, Youget your hay and oats. But you'll have to Work,mind, •• • ., ,
· '. · _·' . . "Where do you collle frOm?''. • , .• for· your keep ! N'o more. of this dancing, this reciting .
.. .. Now there_w~s ·only horrible empdness' in ~y head;: try · ·_• .verses! Au~et f';nd ~nien ar~n't __
for people like ~s. You
as I~oiiid, I could remelDberhothing, I(eitmy head droOp; : . mu~tn'~ expect t 0
spe;d your time Writing sonnets of :
in bewilderment,s.id~essand sha111e;my forefei:t beCallle • , .•··,liSC:ening
to the wireless professors; ..Don't b~ so foolish as .
: •,: , • : imlllobilized fr.ozen. · .. •· . . -. . • ' <, ; · to be take~ in by the Polemical Positivists ~h9 like sub- •'
, <• , .. I, . . . -. ·, •, - • • • • • • • I • •••

, •, "N~ver mind/ ~aid the farmer quit~ kindly.: "Don't • ·: urban super-bores, destroy all values, and leav~ the g~~~nd
,. · , trouble abo~t Writing.You cari speak t~ ine openly. Horses ••.-· too barren to, bring foi-th an,Y~hiiigbut anothl!r w~r.'' _
•, : . · ·•·.h;ve a. bad time of ii:_th~se day;; l kn9W, Unf6rttlnat~ly, : • . . •Before I knew what ~as happe~i~g, al~ost against ~y •
• •• : mOst. of them
.
'are fell~~
. .
trav~ller;
. I
~ndI a~.such·I must b~ . • will, I. foun~
Th .
myself on
., . .
the way. towards
• . .
the •new fa.rm:
: liquidated. But do~'t ,;orry, ka~hb~r. I see you a~e one of . • . e r~ad was _lo~g,Th~ weather OetedOrated, the clouds •.
the few; your sOUlhas been saved &om the bUrning..Com~, ..•• •• sprea~..a~d .u~if~d, above •uS, rain came drizzling down. .
, • • f • ' •. ' • , ,A' ~ ' I ' .. ' I • •

12 ,·, . •• • • I • ' • • •
 1 ~-

.. , • .. . • the rain seeped into my mane, into • • . Y.'

. · e went on, · • Illy
As w
i1 • to JJlYlungs
ta , in
_ into my inmost breath. I telt ti
• .
. Gradually a du11depression bega
nd dejected again. . .
I
red
n to
Kierkegaardout of me -. or~as it's pronounced, Kierke·
gore? What a bore! I'll never be able to dance _again."• •
a yth" g seemed grey, sodden, unmtere·stj And, trying to encourage myself by .making fun of the
• drownJJle.Ever in . . ng;
W elcomed the pam of an insect's sti' •
situation, I quoted, "Qyoth the raven, Never more!" ,
,~~~n h~ . ~
how to endure. the a11-pervadmg darn 1 "I warned you that there would be no more dancing
I didn't k now . P I.
or poetry for you on my farm, but only hard work," Hugh
•dreariness. • • . . ,_•• · -
s~id. Then, as if fearing he had been over-harsh, he con-
Fanner Hugh., however' seemed quite unaware of the r soled ~e by recalling the fate from which I'd lately es·
..:, m whim had overtaken the day. Glancing at
~~goo 1 . : caped, slung his arm round my neck, and led me off to.
him, 1 saw that he was quite a young man, upright and. J
receive the freedom of '1is farmyard.
virtuous-looking;it was only a certain air of severity whidt l ..
_

I was nrst introduced to Emil the goose, to a dude, and •

madehim appear older. He reminded me of a young Q.ua- :-J
• a pig named Swiska. I ~lso made the acquaintance of a
ker. "Man proposes, God disposes," he remarked at one J snake and a tortoise, whose presence in Farmer Hugh's • -,-
point "But once in a lifetime man may make his cnoice~. J orderly yard was rather hard to explain. I had no chance
and,having dio$en s~vation, he can Ieav~ th~ rest to God." • .j to inquire into their functions as they were both half asleep
After this we contmued on our way m silence. On aU • ;·:· in the ham, where a cow drowsily nuzzled her calf. Emil
sides lay ruined houses, burnt-up nelds and vi11ages.It was greeted us with loud uninhibited cackles of welcome. But
},!
• not the season of flowers or greenery. Once the distant . Swiska, who seemed to be starved of affection, grunted
I

grey gl~am of a lake caught my eye. No boats moved on ~ ~ ~faintively until the farmer good naturedly rubbed her ,
its surface,_no birds flew above: only the land opened 1 snout with his stick. I noticed that one of her eyes w~s •
drenched anns to receive the flood. blue and th~ other brown, both bright, and by no means
It was already dark when we came to Hugh's village, stupid. She balanced her fat body on ti~y ankle~ as ele-
where the smith was sti11at work in a red glare in front gant as my own, a~d her mas:ive neck was decorated with
of his forge. Wfiat a powerfulruffian he w~s! I'd no time a smart coUar.
to protest before he seizedmy slim dancer's ankles in his The neatness and cleanline~s ~f all I saw ~uite amazed
horny han~s and weigheddown one hoof after anothe~ me. The stable was like a new pin. Swiska's pale hide
witb an ugly great iron shoe. "Jesus Christ!" I cried -out. couldn't have been more spotless had she slept in silken
"Am I to be crucified,then? Are you trying to make a . sheets instead of a stye. My spirits rose as Hugh con-
14
 ." _:.,,',-,'.'· .. •>... :.·'_..,:-· ,_."•'•.•..-.·. r•· • •. • ••. ,· ..-.···.•::· .1,,.•
.. ·., • .. :.~·_-:-.. ~ -:-· · quarters,wh1ch-provedto·be , .. -,···t_· ..
... , . . , d meto ~y.own.
'
•.• . . •. . . . . ~0111., .J ,:; . .
;
,,.. l,, .-:

•.
·
• ducte ,• d'~us and welH1t, mo~~ like a ~uest•..ro • •; ,-~ let .the poor' dog lap a si~le drop. Then circled round •.• :> •. . ,;,e
· ·forta - ble, co1ntno·1 ,, · • - • 01n . • "

'l•
~ ~

-_ ~- .· . . ;
-
Here·tbefarmeratten
d d ·~,
e to.meh· . i: .thro~gh the a
hills, caught distant view-of a wayside church,.· •..___..•
· . •. b n a horses sta11• .. . _ . . . • . • 11q..
_1 •

••:. · t a · • · d • 't•ke a. but ter wt·th swee t -sme tt·

•· ,·',,·., · .• ing h /' · • and later plunged into the woods.-
•. ·: . -. self' serve me 1 • , ay, .1, Here a pec~lia; whisp~ing filled the ai~.The high-pitched
:_ - . · d . as though he were my valet, and final\ • r
•. . rubbed me. own - .. • • y , susurration came from nowhere, from everywhere, Icouldn't· -
. . ·. . d for ·the night, leaving a_ candle to keep n1
. bedde me . . • _ , . •.. . e tell if it emana~ed from unseen_human .beings,.or dryads, or-
. The. contrast between these pleasant ~ircu111 .•
company. ._ · - · · . •. • . . • • .. . · from the trees the~selves. Autumn winds -h;;idcarried off
stances ~nd my recent d_esperate phgh_t bamshe~ ~U sad~_
most of the leaves: there was nothing to be seen amongst •
nes~.:·The ·:l~st vestiges _of.my -depression m~ltedin the· , . the clos.ely enlaced branches. Nor could I distinguish any
, rays, .of ~he ·candle, whi~ made" me tMnk pf. _the_bles'sed'l ~~ ·articulate ·words: all i:heard·wa~ a.marked u11:iversityac:.:
•..mm
f ·t Je·sus asleep in His crib,
- ..watched
•. over by ~other . .;. .• cent, which even the wind seemed to reproduce, as if it·_·
:Mary,
_who~o~ld· certainly. ne~e.r penni~a ..fly 'to. settle_.:}· • had taken· a ~ourse of el◊cution.
on.Him-for a .~econd. Here_no~ a.single fly ·was a~ake to· ·:!;,_ : "Ac~entis everything in life," Hugh informed me, seeing_.
- . - . ·both~nne. eithef; and ho''Ygrateful i felt, s~ve~ ~y-.dtvine.- ....
~. _·.
that I wa~ puzzled'. He himself had received· a <::ollegeedu~ . , •
, • · -gra~efrom the nethert1los~he~ of the slaughter ho~se f ' , • i cation, ~ndhe told me sardonically th~t his success in the
•.N~xt..niorning the weather. was fine. The·. ·sun shone, .•:: 6ral ex~~inations was en~irely.due -t~ his well~trained vocal
. ther~-wasno threat of rain. -ff~gh was whi~tling :g~i~y.when i{ co~ds. He had been trained as anominalist; according to ..
_ · he came ·to cati me. As on the previous .night,· h·e _served··/t ~~~:.tutor,language was the key -to all_wis.dom, language •.
' .. t• ' . /I

1ny'victualswith hi~ ~~n hands, cleaned and currY:,conibed -·_.

;j ·con~isted wholly of sounds, and the most superior sounds
n~y-~oattill it shone like~ polishe4 chest:nut, then s~ddled ~ .·.{ w~re .those ~i-oduced by the Oxbridge and Cam.ford dons.
. . ' . . . . ' . . • ·i
. 'me ·and rode out into the·. sunshine. We inspected' the . , If language ~as the ess~nce _ofmeaning; then it followed
'I
'·•·. ·.. . . . -· . ,··l
that accent must be the meaning ~f.~eaning .
.· fa~m•wi~h.its· cornfields· and pastur~s, •exa111ined a· po~d _t:-'.
.
. ' . . . -· . • ' •. q . I made no comment on. this propositi~·n .. But it st~uck
·•and a lake, some woodland, and a number of chicken coops, . ;'.,•
·. . , . • . • . I·}
me·,that the famous performing horse Kluge. ·Hans would
·,' . ' ~aughty-loo~ing swans •were sailing' ~bout the la~~·,as_ '.{l
not ~ave agre~d ~hat' a nu~ber, for ins'tance,·was without
.. though they owned it, and. I couldn't help -laughing at li
meaning. Kluge Hans woul~ h~~-elost his. job if, in hi~ nu-
•_·.the ·fl~rcearrogance with which their s~ak~like ne.d<Sl~~g- ·i·:
, ' ' . ' , ·! .me~icalact, he'd suddenly decided that one, two, three and
ed at Hugh's dog, which ha.cl·gone to the ~ate.r's edge f?r.-••
th e.·res.th_a~~<?
~eaning. They, 'cer~~inly meant ~omething
a drink. The lake belo~ged t.o th~ swa~s, they: ·wo~ldn't ~ • • 1•
' • I • ' •

2 .Bluth,The .J1or~e,~Tale
. 17
16 'l
'.
t '
. • • :... • . f dd r de~ended on them, and ·h. ~
• bitn for his o e . .. h e lll.tt,,1. ~ 1:-.
to ' . h' l'vino by his wits on t e stage th "'l r.
f d o earn is t o . al\ b
pre ere ·d . theroadsandfields.Supposeco Y J
ullinoheavy loa sin , ncePts i~
P .0 • and accent alone became of sup ii
lost their meaning . relne
• uld KluoeHans acquire the corr.ect un·
importance,wo o . . ~ iver.
ble him to whinny his way into Winn•
sity accent to ena _ . •dng
trees ~hich were to be cut down. Left to my own devices;
. a double first? .
·td d nd doubtful, I glanced at the shuddetin I cropped some tender grass shoots and felt refreshed. A
Bew1 ere a . g
• ..1.. b e me The trees had given up the problell\ i~ midge must have given me an inspiring sting, for alJ at
branu1esa ov • . f
• - . h00 k their.heads in despair. I saw then that we were once I started laughingand cavorting, my head became full.
and s ' , ' of nonsense rhymes ..
ch. a clearingwhere some scouts had set up their • ~
approa mg • • ~ "Though their accent isn't wrong,
• A ung·man bearing the rank of Accent Adjutant .:.
camp. yo . •maybe their brains aren't so strong.
·d·ng
1 a·bout dignified in spite of the shorts he was t
was str1 ' • . All that college dialect
wearing.For a moment I thought I was seeing double; the ., covers up a brain defect.
whole gladewas alive with shorts. 1 didn't at once realize· ~ Foreign ministers can't. reach
1

•that all the scouts were repeating th ~ir Adjutant's "short ' -~:•world agreement by a speech.
accent",and that this explained the ubiquitous whisperi~g.·. ; If the truth is id{om,
Sound,sound,was everywhere, and every sound a univer- ',
• ' ·i
! meaning is delirium."
sity accent. _• • •• . t I Farmer _Hugh being ~o longer within speaking range,·_
Would I too be expected to take a degree and prance :-·1 I asked the Accent Adjutant, who was ,watching me, why
. round i~ shorts? My-training had been realistic, on· th.e :: someone didn't start a movement for sending the heads of
metaphysicalsidel was familiar with Aquinas, Husserl a~d • rj foreign states to the universities of this country. "Foreigners
Scheler.To me, one, two and three wer·e concepts express· l •i can shout loudly enough," I said, playing up to him. ~'The
ing permanent truths; it was beyond me how anybody ) trouble is they've got the wrong accent. And if the ministers -·
_ could believe "that the symbol 2 meant nothing." Even '.:\ who have to ~eal with them haven't been to Oxbridge or ,
the Grand Old Positivist himself would hardly get away ; 4Camford either, that makes things still worse." •
with changing the figure two to three on a cheque. f~ "True enough," the young man answered, quite seriously.
I asked the farmer if hecould explain the signifi~ance ~fIf on~y the Fuhrer of our 'late ene~ies had enjoyed an
- I:. 2• • • -
1B j - .' • · 19·
•,
 ...
••." • . ••• • . -. . •h~'wouldn't· have wasted air .h··. I
',"

. . e education - . - • • ts ti . . .,· ..
,·;

Oxbndg . He mioht have done good Work •, llle .,;. · • • ·th-'nk._l'iriso. impoli~~-~; to make a nois·e when -~y ••:->.
. i/10g speeches. t, • • • ;_ . on th -
you 1 , • . • , ...
ma. _ . . reading the cla~s1cs aloud, or·.re .. ; ~ behi~d g~es into_ action? I ~now bet~er th~n: to dr~~ at-. ~:.•
_ .-. _:.
I.•
. '. h. d progra~n1e, . . . .. . . . • c1t1ng.
. ..: t tr • _ • . ry poetry; some_fine Argonaut stua· .. tention to the fact :in th~t :W~Y· I've _been taught that all_· ·:-·
. - d contempora . . ,r or
goo t Sappho· and important critics w natural functi?ns, including eating, must be perf?rmed i~ •. : <=
.. the odes ofour grea .,: . • •. . . ould•\ .
. d him on his understanding of stre , . ,, :silence: though' 1·haven,t yet been able to emulate thos~ .•
.ave.complunente. . . ·•- _ . sses•
h . t. as wrong, he had no sense of proporti pseudo-yogiswho s~mehow_etherializetheir intestinal pto"'·
Butas his ~ccen w . • . • " . on,
• 'fvism and therefore no _sense.. cesses an_dgo abo.U:tlike gaseous vertebrates." ••
no logic,no post t . , • . " I .d· "A d •:l "I call them inflated balloons," said the farmer~ strolling. ••• • ··.: •
1sense of humour, . sa1 ' n nothin I •
"You mean no • • • •• • • • • •• g -fo~ards u~."And ~hey're •responsib_ le for the fr~sh_air craze
• N0 t that the· neo-positivists seem to do much,• 1~ •
to laugh at. • • • • · . !( · in th.is part of the world._They can't ·contain _their own ~.:·
•. • . h r I've always though~ them _a sententious J • . • .
laughingett e_~ . . . •.. , :I wind forever, so the wind~ of heaven mus~·be allowed·free
• k·frankly. The reahst~. wh<;>.trained me at 'l 1 • •
crowdI to spea . . : . . ;;ff : ,accessto blo~ away any'es'capin_ggas_'.Hay,en't yo_unoticed .•
•d •·e •f fun and were much more broad-minded.. ,q
leastha a sens 0. _·. . .. · . .- .. t, •:· how everyone here keeps t~e ~~n-~owswide open, no m~tter
• i'th things au naturel, and enJoyed seeing : h ld . . . f d N d h • • •
Theyw~r~bored W . _ 1~1
. .• . . . • j:;· ·_ ow co 1t 1s~ut o o~r~? o won er r _eumat1_sm1s~ur ,
~
1
ton. hence their wilhngness to accept 1, , . t ,,, - . -
t hem out of Proport , _
•
.; . ::/1· nationa1 comp1am . . .,
the.work of .Cezanne and Picasso. For myself, Pm only a~ iii,. .:I m~ntioned the fact that ~jrown ankles had recently
'• ' animal,_ and my capacity for ~'unnatu~al co~duct" is st ~ictly :i!F .•start:~dtostiffen,adciingsadlythati'fearedl wa~noiongerup. '. '
limited.I'vebeen taught tQ manag~ the unnatural· st eps of.• 11t
,t? ~erfo~ing the ~eatsof agility :which h.id distingui~hed
the Hohe Sdtule; I can cakewalkbke a poodl~ or ~~e of \i( m~m the ol~,theatr1caldays, The only performance I coul~ •
PashaGlubb'scamels.ButI can't hold my waten~~efimt~ly, ~; std! put up as wdl' as ever was with my taiL ' ' ,' '. '
or control what now and then drops· out of my behind.
. • /
it< "Not now,
. p • .. .
please,'' Hug·h requested. But it was too: late
. ' .
ultimately succe_~din ~aking my bo~els
Perhaps I m_ight. • ·rd already raised my tail and proved myself no mere g~s·bag · _...
•
• mov~ like those of ~n elephant or a rattlesnake, but ~o~~ • but a manufactur.er of solid material. Then, to maintain the •
• ~o~ehow •they m~s~.-••· •· • •• : .• . '.abstractlevel ~f the conversation, ( began -~otrace the ~-6n
· -•
• • ~'It's only~ matter of ~ccent," the· other persisted •.''If: n~xion between_ materialism and Calvinis~; ·how the two
)i • • •, you could only .learn~omove your bowels with the correct. . ~orked hand inhand to produce atiew ·man~gerial r·evo~.
•.accent, they'd behav~ in an unn~tural way-.,, • .lution. . I' • • ' • • • '(

· This mad.eme-ratherindignant, so that I protested: ''D0 •' Neit~e~ of inyhe;rer~, hO~eve;, seemed willing or able
.-·,.
20 4 ~-~· t;' .. -,
,,,
'
.
,,•
'
.
·:.
, '
. 21
r. ·,
 ••' • •,.;'t: ~ • ,~.: • I ._ ,,i~,,,",/. :.:,-•.,, ...._•<
: : • !' • ~ J •~ ,,... ... .., ..........'I.. ,.. ~~ • ,> • ·~ .. • <

-_,,,,v,~·<;S'.1..,-,:-~:.,..,..,-;:r~~i~.,,~ ,,-~;,,re".,:.,,.,
......·.-~~~/.,,.,:.,:~::"'~·,•·-·· -~
follow the theory, ~hich was ~videntl • • ,
w y~~ '
,, : 'j ,• ,:

athered that a concep~ from abroad only b to th

1g . .. . ecallle ~lll. ,
le to the umvers1t1es they held tn such hi h ac:t~ , l exposure,their expressionsradiating open-airheartinessarid .
ab g est Pt-
disapproval, as they stared at me and at the soft balls of
it had gone through the refining pro~ess of transl e~tnaft~. II
. b h at1on• ~- manure near my hoofs, as if I had ·been some ·obscene ap-•
the local idiom. So 1t came a out t at great lflto :
tnen \\th ~ parition which they could neither understand nor endure,·
O
crumbled to dust in their homelands wer haq·~
1ong eto bef 0
a monster from some other world.
strolling through the streets of Oxbridge and Ca ttnd •• "Look here, boys," I adressed them, "There's n9 need to
. . . . . tnfordi '
youthful v1gou~.. • n ~· . put on such disgusted faces. I'm simply giving a· demon-
• . "That accounts for 1t,
• " I cou Idn 't he1p muttering ,,"T,_
• :~} stration of logical philistinism of whichyou might wetl take
• •nat,~1
why you're like my tail; all behind." • • • s !~· advantage. These balls of solid matter I've just ejected are •
. not identical with each other and only become parts. or ••
I didn't really mean this for the farmer's eats b {
-. . . , ut he·) members of the_same class or whole because that whole
heard, and ordered me to ~1~ke myself clear. ,N_otwis~ing'} comes out of my hole. If I were unlucky enough to suffer
to start any trouble, I explained _as courteously as I couldi from diarrhoea· th~re would be no separate members ~t •
that I only meant the sitting posture was typical
.
of h~s..-r .i. all, but only an issue in which all individual traits would be
'

·countrymen.. "Before the late . disastrous war," I reminded

. .J.~ lost. So keep things dear-cut; don't confuse your issues!"
him, '~you owned a quarter of the entire ·globe. Why did•'i "How dare you, a mere horse, talk such rubbish to well-
.A
you sit on it so firmly? Simply because your CalvinismJ . read people?" It wa~ not the Accent Adjutant who inter-
i
had deprived Y:ouof love and substituted an anal complex, . rupted me so indignantly this time, but a small round-faced
Possession was your obsession." • • ,• : chap whom. t
I'd taken for one of the scouts I but who had I
"Well you're ~ clever d1ap, anyway," said Hugh tole·\ I observed now, the look of an infant professor about him.

~antly. "I~ve n~ver met such a horse; you know aUthe\ ~ite in. the professorial manner too, he pulled a he~fy •

• answ~rs!" He strolled off, la.ughing, bet~een the trees, and·

..·~.
book out of his haversack, turning its pages till he fou~d

I.was.encouraged to_lift my tailagain, man ting at the same J

th~ passage he wanted, and then, stationing himself .just

time: "Hairy, tail, or fairy tale, it's alt the same. Meanin~·i in front of my nose, reading aloud something about there
being "a such such that there was a such" which was in-
means nothing. No~hing means anything but .sound_anOr { '
accent. N • e • i • g -h !". • I. • • • . n
comprehensible to me. ·_
.
I couldn't even begin to appredate this gem of wisdom
Meanwhile the scouts in their shorts had alt gathere'..~
1 because I had to keep turning my head to avoid the reader's
round,their bare arms,knee·sand faces red with coldan.__
·i·:
22 . , , • . ,. . l, 23
i •

.-~
I I I ...
j ·... '..·... • . . •, . ., .. ,~~ ·. :;;·,~: y~-~""- •• ,. V ,~" - • • ~-.,
•lj : '. : fo;efinger whenever he p<;)kedit Sharply.t~w •• ••< . • i > . ;: :·'·': . . . . . t·h·e·r·.
'pr~voc~tive: at all even~s, .
i· ~ ~ ards tn:y• •• , I was. being_ra . .. ,
•trils byway of ·emphasi~. "Wh.at.does it·mea ~ •
• • • '· • •
l J;.. • •. llos.: • J suppose\ _. . . d by· what_they considered my
·i , 1 • ,n • It doe
• , • • • • ,. were sb enrage . .
\·j;,. . . . _makesense!" .1exclaimed when he had'fini~hed. ~l.ne~'t• . the scouts . d my a-social attitude, that _they suddenly
l ·\l •• heard ~.uch.•. mar?le_ i~ n.i-/ life!_Tryere is a· su.,.1..s..:~
a_.r._ig_
1
~ imp~cJencean_ .ho..d and.fo_rced one pair of sho.rts on_
1:).·'.
H.•••
•
that there is a such_:1f such and s~ch and sllch : b,~h~l
. . •v at
' fellupon me tn a ' ::r '.;i~ --~vermy. mde hinder-parts~
f legs and anot p .. . . .
11_~• • I've.ju~t deposited o~-t~e. gro~nd, it's .~lso, such.a . i. mY ore . • · ·d to.his-dirty tricks," th~ little pro-.· ..
~.- t • • • , •• - • • • ' • . S It ts . "11put an en . .. . . . .. , ..•
,••
• d b
accompani_e • ·y. s ape,· so~n
h d an_.
d ~ir;
• t ho~g4
• •not b' . ."Tnat wt ·d
. •· - . . .
with a spiteful grm. . ..
,
. ..
• ·
11
•" fresh air, ·of course." • .. • • •• • • Y • fessorsat ' h think"' J laugh~d.. I'd had niore than
l , •• , • • .1 • ,. . "That'~w at you · . _ .
1_..: i.·: . , • ' ' "Silence1Don't get fresh with me! I maybe Oneof the .·.• •• • h of the situation by this tiffie, and I bounded av:ay, •
i
• • .: bQys,butl'malsoprofes~oro f nonsense,l'd
• haveyoukn_o_w.''
• ·. :, enoug
. · • • and prancing wildly· along as 1"f t hen "d'
ck 1-
, . archingmy ne . . ,
i ·, :,, , • ~ Anger made the'feUow's round fa~e as bi'ight pink as a • -culolls·shortS tickled me; as indeed ~hey: did, in both
, ··' '·. • -child'sair bal!O~n:·• • • •• • • : . sO~seSof the word. J was so tickled that my hoofs beat ..
,r \_''.., ,-.' , . : _,·"You c~rtai~ly know how to put on airs," I retorted, ' .:out of their_-~;n accord a 'hilarious rhythm, beating the '' I
;i

:If' -• :.:•.:.' .•••..-) "l~'sa pity youh~ven't grown a·bit t~~lerso ·~hatYOlfcould. •earth.as:n~groe·s tap out hot-jazz onthe kettled!llm ...'· '
!j . ••• • •• ••.climb·on my back and air }'our nonsense froin there." : • .•.·.•
"That's right. Let's get going,'.'cried Farmer ffugh,.who •..•
if · · · :-At this he assunied·; look of outraged dignity, assuring•. had finishedhis job of markingcthe trees to be felled an~ . •
~I,. • • •• • • me that he would never lower hittiself to mottht a real. :, ' was reiidy to return. home. .
II'; . • · : • •• • horse, or to ride.anything but his own hobby or rod<lng .· • •Feeliflghis firmhand on my bridle I iminediately quieted
I r ·:. ' • horse, whkh, being made of wood,•could be trusted to. I:~
• down; the excitement and exasperati~ll of the last few '
j \, ·,• .ti :·•.minllte.5vanis.hedas ~e went through.the ~oods togethe~.
conform·t~ the rules of s~chand such ~nd s~ch, and _to
1·
•:,.- • • \neigh in just suchan accent. "The.best thmg for you_would ·{'t . . How ·.rightand sen~tble Hugh was . with his· clever ha~ds.
t .-~:• •
' •• •
•••.•.be to put on a pair9£shorts," he ·conclud~4. "Then ·-y.ou
• • • •
~f·.
In5t ead of getting involved in the· ~couts' silty ·talk~ he'd .-
·';I' . . . ., . . , ,

l! :,' • . .·,. ·_.might learn in timeto keep step with the· rest of us in the' :j•.. been ·ca~mlygoing .:about his work, deciding which trees.'

l \.>
l'.i:.• co:::,~~:~·:'Not quite ~y cup o~ ~ea," I answered:) _,.~:::\b:z:~:;:::dm:tu:::1::t::~~e:;:,e~:::: ••
/· . ! • ••• "It's true .that I've been a dancer, but not :i step.,dancer. •r • in futile_.irguments and discussions that led nowhere alld ·
i;. • •\. I ne~ercared either fof step-mothersor goose-steppers;in ,/', : m.erelyexacerbated thcinet'Vi:s.Hu~h'shands Werecleverer
;i•,f I
fact illways take steps t() a~oid them:; • ••• , •• • i:if/han hiSmind,he tru~ted in them, and as long ash~ followed
•\ 24 • • : ;} I <,

• • • 1· !,{.' •,;,. 25 ,
1• ~ . \ ~ .. , , • . I .._~
 their int~ition he too was to be trusted. I-I· I

is hand
' ' '

-
. knew what to do. Insti~ctively they cam s aiwa - - f such and such could not be like Hugh's
e to gr·1 Ys of the fo11owerso .- . .
reality, carved, cleaned, cooked and tnoulde Ps With _ b r · rs in sudi. and such did not appreciate
·· • d, Pr hands: the . e ieve . . .
everything that was necessary to life, as thou ·h epared • • nd structures· they did not know how to
. g at .. any directions a ' .
inspired leaders and trained workers directed h. ealll()f hing they could only talk and destroy.
18 constrUCtanyt '
These hands were not his alone, they were an . h fl~ge~s.fi "Oh, forget it!" the farmer said, reading my thoughts.
in er1ta ~i , b ther ·about those foolish boys. Come, let's get
- from his ancestors, passed down from generatio nee ,•. "Don t o •
. . .. . n to gen.
ration -blessed by the wisdom of centuries info e rid of your shorts before we go any further."
' . . . ' rtned b As he helped me to remove the absurd garments, I heard
the expenences of time past. The cool quiet of . "i
. .. - ancient • t he song
- of a milt stream near by, the music which Schubert
heritage laym these hands like castle battlements tn.1
• _ rrored. wove into a timeless truth, and I thought: "They've got it
in some deep pool, motionless and serene.People had tru ,
. ·. sted the wrong way·round, that's what it is. Meaning can't be-
• their lives t~ them without misgiving: like the hands of a 11
- come sound, although sound may be turned into meaning."
saint th~y brought to life everything that they touched. ~
• I l Our home·coming was a s~atl celebration._Candles lit up
._animals flourished, gardens bloomed, women dreamed of ;-1.
allthe windows. Emil, in spite of his name, had laid an egg,
t.\,"

their children, the very ~ots and pans shone with smiles. 1 •. and stood proudly beside it, waiting for Hugh's _approval.
A magic legacy handed on from father to son had been :j Grunting comfortably in her stye, smiling with her brown
j
entrusted to the hands which now guided me kindly, _con·!-vl and blue eyes, Swiska fondly drew our attention to the litter
1
fidently, through the thickets. of pigs with which she had been blessed during our absence.
Neither Hugh nor I spoke a word. Evening was coming , -~ f:ow ~lean the sucking pigs were, how eagerly they sucked,
. . • i ~

on. All noise and agitation had disappeared; the accent L" sucked, sucked, at their mothers teats! I laughed at the
"such and such ~nd such'~w~s silenced, but_ I couldn't get r:·:i noises they made, so very much like '~uch and such and
these accent·followers out of my head. What extraordi· f ] such';.and they themselv~s were so like the boys in the
1
narily short memories they possessed, How could they [·
forget already the w3.ronlyjust behind us, the horror of
burning clouds, the beasts trembling with fear? Their truth, . ·:j
J wood, all members of one common porcine class, the parti·
, culars, of which the sow was the universal.
I started to comment on this; but Hugp smilingly told me
there is a such, ·reduced everything into nonsense. Such is • ·j not to raise the subject again, and led me to •my stable,
equal to such, good is bad, beauty and ugliness one and the ;.·J
bringing me ~ater and oats before he went off to wash ~nd
_toeat his own meal.
same, no difference between South and North. The hands. ·:t.
• ~

26 27
 r ,;,""."; ;;- ;; .·.,;• C .----":::---r:-•:
Ff •~
... ....' ' ~ -:::..,
.-,; -:..-.,.

~fter ~-while the farmer cam~ hack ~ci-th•..•.. -'•.• ··:

•.••• ••
·• •• • -, •• . • · - e stabt . • ·•. · ._·'· ~ • You a~tualt'y.·b~,a-~ethe ·_poordevil. Ho~ piti~ ·,
and smellingof soap. He pulled u~ a stool _ands·e .. e, neat f tty - -
• ~-o_ mfo_ r_tably_fora chat_.B_utsomethin_g must_hav_ .e.t_th_laepd
dow11 ,, ,, hi;! ay:u ~rept away to hide y~ur uglines·sfr~n~·you~·sister
- fu Y ·h. - • u·el father who thre:w apples at_you and_ ,
then to the t1me-~tream,we suddenly seemed to . . Pened d frotn t. e er . ._ • - •. .
. _ f ·
•_glide an d • the side! 'I can see it before me now, the
wardintothefuture. Whethermonths orevenye .- 0 r- wounde you m . h.. ld •
. i
. · . ars ela . d lance you gave when your t m 1egs cou
tn that imperceptible interval, I couldn't _tell; hut·. Psed . Jong last sa g . -. .
. . · · . . . · . . . now th . • pport you and you sank down to die, with-
farmyard was populous and thriving again, cow - e ~;: no longer su ' . •
· . · · · . s lllooed ¾ b' 0
• ess or. reproach, in resigned_ weariness, lying.
• d I ld h th ckl f. • 1 ·, out itter . • • . . . . .
Pigs grunt_e , cou ear . e_
- c_a :, e o _pou try,. and· i'nth~
\; . . ~-
~ . • •-l'k a dead stidc· in front _of us a11. y es, f or_us m • -
. distanc.ethe sound of music an:d dancmg. , j • •~er; l~sethat metamorpho~isV:as specially telling at bar·
.• "What~ good horse you've been: yoit've bro~giit luc,l :e:t :me when the !,lold~~sUmtl1erwas changing to win- • . ...
•.•.. •_to the farm," I-lugh ~as say~ng.-"When. you· fl_r.stcame I -•• l.
ter's cold." ·, . _·_ _
. . . _ hardly-kne:whow I was ~~ing to ge_tt~rough •the •winter,,: -} . :,•.,,·•He paused, and I said: "Mutat!~n is a better ~6-rd than ·_
•_
and now I'm ~ore prosp~_rou~tha~ ever. before: It's ~hanks ,J' . metamorphosi_sfor my type of_dancing. What I d~nce ~sthe
to you, my frien~, to a great ex_tent. You've ~orked hard .{ _process of Hfe,.sometii;nes g?-y,son1etimes grave, cynical
1

• and _f~ithfu11y~and,
better sti11,you'v~ kep~ me goi~g when-· , • someti~~s, ~ut·· n~ver heavy or. solemn. How .I distrus·t
.·.:::> -~:,.-. eve·~I felt downhearted. Many .·a·time wheh thing~ _went.. ::; • • words! They s~hstitut_econcepts for r~al indiyi~ual things.
•• , -wro?g fve felt like ~hro~in~ up th~ sponge._Th~n --y~u'd J,. _·-:._-
Unless a po.et's words dance like my legs he's no poet at
•come alo~g with your whinnying ·wisecracks, _an4 -start ; . •-all.There's nothing to_fear about going down the drain if
~-- • danci~g or playing the fool tiH I was· cheerful and ~pti~_isti~• • \ you godowri i~ adance. Goi~g down .the drain is .nothing
~-~ ' • , ~gain. I'ffnever forget soine"of youdinpersonati<;>n~:How· -~-• but mutation; -~laking ~nother cha~ge. Change. we ~ust'
' . 'did you manage-to t~r~ yo~rself i~to a sw~n i~ thaf mar~· . l.
from moment to tnoment( SQ let the change be made with •
th
· ·' · 'vell~us way, ~sailinggrac~fu11yover the·-_water, ·a~~f t_h~~,· r ! _· e__ grace of_a dance or a poem.The poem b~gan long ago'.
) nd
com~n,gon1and, w~ddling along ~oclumsi1yandcomical1y,as :'~~- ~ .not~ing ·can st0 P_it;. it _must g~_.on to th~ very last,
_·.·.
• :jf you really had web-feet instead of ho~fs? Arid that won·. · , ,. · sentence, which is th e· sentence of death."·. . ·._.
.derful dance you did at the harvest festival•· the meta· • : .-••~--- While 1. spoke, ( noticed that the farmer;s att~tude to-· ·:
• • • • - · ' ••. • wards me was alter· b •· · · '· • , •
\~.-... mor? h ?sis. It was q·uite~asterly how you mimed the whole 1
. mg, e~ommg uneasy and less friendly;,
. • • - .• -

'. . , . . ·, .-.almost antagon· ti . • b f. • .

.\. . story of the poor man's transformat:iort into a beetle: his .. .i . . . . .·. . . . is c; even • e ore he burst out:. "What
_shame ~nd terror and h;ispathetic eagernes~ n~t, to offend •,:·), .•: ._Y~~s,ay•so_und s ~~rbid to. me-: I _believe in the supreme.
, 1 I ' , _ \:·• ' t ·•, •• • 1

. 28 Y.f.
,
1;,
n:
29
 '_ ·_ , . ,1t?"., ~tj,:t:'•ve;-.p, \".'- -7' r,- ,-:- • ,,
,<-.; ➔~•.""'" ·~ '

i~portance .of life:whereas you seem to d • • · ·_• •

. • a vacate 1· -

r
an acceptance of death.". • • • •- 1Vinn . e~,..~ Th- are your essence. But your head,
.• t>lf\ dants. ey f
our descen . ent -thing and, in its fear o
"You are the , one who denies life and . - - Y . an imperman
. . • 1lYes •
without realizing it," I thought;_ saying aloud~ ,:ndeath - . your
:,;· ego, 1s •th anger and greed,,, ,
. death, 611syou wh1 seeing how completely I had alie-
remember· my first evening ~ith you? we; d . • • Do Y()tt ~ f lt very un appy .
• . JUst left • I e H flt looked at me with hostile eyes,
scouts in the wood and everything had becom the d the farmer. es 1 . .
.: e still. 0 nate k. an effort to control himself and
the brook was singing its quiet song, laughin . nly -· h h he was ma mg •
g, s1ngin . alt oug • bl when he growled: "What's the matter
and running towards the sea. -Without the forced . g, i' to speakreasona y .
. , raw1n f: •
•th you tontg •
ht' I can't understand why a horse which
- . ·
it to the sea the stream couldn t exist. It's the. sam. h' g • b intelligent and industrious should sud-
. et ing wi -
has always een . ,,
with men and with horses. People speak of the d • the rails and oet so aggressive.
. . . eath den1y goo ff
instinct as something bad because they don't want to he t,

"Are you sure I'm the one who's being aggre~sive?" I

reminded that they have to die. Yet it is the acceptance asked."Did I bite you or kick you? I only paid you the
of death which makes us able to appreciate life at its true . compliment_
of thinking you were strong and honest enough -,
value.·Those who realty love life understandingly embrace to took infinite nothingness in the eye. l see I was mis- _ .
death ~ith gooq will." taken. You ~an't accept death, and so you cc1:n'
t accept
"That's enough ! 1don't wa~t to hear any more of thes-e lifeeither. I thought we were real friends: you've benefit-
views!" Hugh exclaimed angrily. He jumped up, on longer ted by my work and my dancing, you've had the credit
able to contain himself, and, to my horrified astonishment, of owningthe cleverest horse ever seen in this part of the
struck my neck wi~h his clenched fist. • world.But the most valuable thing I had to offer you have
' .

Though the b}ow was not painful I was _deeplyhurt by refused.I don't ~elieve you even know it exists."
it in my heart. Sadness· overwhelmed me_. "There you :f "I've no i_deawhat you're talking about," was his sullen
are," I said despondently. "A minute ago you caUed me ·t response.
your friend. Now, just because I mention one _of your .,, "If you had understood my dancing you'd have been
prejudices, you lose your temper and start hitting me. •., able to accept death," I told him. "You'd have s~en that
Why do you so: misuse those clever hands. which, 'if left life can't exiSt without the putl of annihilation. Think of •
..ti; th
'to themselves, instin~tively practice the wisdom your an· •:J • e miller'slad who was drawn to the water as if he himself
were part of the st • ••
cestors .learned? Your hands are wise and kind and u1r ,· ! . . ream: it was the attraction of the death
selfish, and they will survive, app~aring long after you in I:~
instinct which enabl •d h"
. . e
. . .
1m to. en1oy his hfe as a magic
. r ri
30
:•'t-1 31
' tt
 •• > •clanc~,finally drowning in the bel~(<f
• •• •• , .. -• .. .. e Waves:·S
?~. ~~~~ --
. . .. . bbing her ne aga
inst mine scratching
, .
music symbolizes the fatalism of life as .t ,· • <httber l to 0 , ru
cl .....;cks . . tly and finally challenging
• . • . I really .
s . ts o1 1,s• h biting me gen 1,
. the false insurance ~f convention. But I' · ~ , Withou . with her teet ' h a start and went galloping
- . m,,afraid - . t file f speed. I gav~ er •
e to a te st
O
• only.appreciate the aesthetic quality and not h· Y:0 -ucan. d tired slowed down, only to
• . , ,, •, . . . • . .· , t e SYtnhot· . fll r. She seeme to grow , . " . 1"
of music; . . . , , .. • _1sll\ afterhe . when 1drew level with her. Nonsense.
"Wh I 1· . • • • •• • forwardagain d "Wh
... . • en want.a ecture on music;:.I'll let y k ' • . teaP , ly pulling· up in my ream. y am
. , ou now~, . d myself stern ,
. : . ·f:ugh crossly. He turned his back on me and W~lk.' said I tol f f myself at my age, running after a.mare?
. . .. ed out . king a oo1 o . . h
.slamming:the stable _d0orafter him.. • • -. , I tna . . Don Juan and had my fun with t e
• . . . . once I was quite a , d ·t·
•• '.•• I felt entirely dispirited wh~n •h!! had gone. It· •• • • h But now that's all over; I ve move on o
. •• . . Wasas best of _t em. . -
• ..•if I~d lost_~y only friend. Although I knew that Hughhad the intellectual stage of my life. So why do.esMarpha ,come
• • many valuable, qualities, I half believed .for the tno.· • . h weet neck against me· agam? Doesn t she
• • . . . tnent . rubbing er s .
. that he w~s, at bottom, only the. usu~l_type of possessive realize that I'm far from home, marooned _ona puritanical
smallholder! d~termined to .~xdnguish. the . Hgh~.of ,all farm,despised if not actually hated? This is no place for
l~vely things beyond his.own limited comprehens~on:.Life•. her charms!Why doesn't she find a lover of her own age?" • •
was:only a _sortof duty for him, not a .dance or a pleisure.·•. • But the dream mare only got more insistent, pr~ssed
. Presently l fell asleep. I dr~anied I was young aga_i~, herself to me, iicked my ears, rubbed my shoulders, asked •
unbridled, and roaming the fields of my homela~d; It was . if I'd ceased to find her attractive. In spite of myself I began
.·., .. earlym·o;ning~slantingsunb.~amstouchedthedistantchurch" neighing.Whereupon one of the farm-hands, opening the
tower ~nd the blossoming die~tnut tree.s,.~ip.d ruffled_the stable door, glanced in, asked me roughly if I was off my
.grass a~d lifted the heads of many-colored 'flowers:.Atremu· head, banged the door again, and_went stamping off.
. lous innocent ha~e veiled,the hilk B~esw~re at work, ~mall • The dream, however, went on. Marpha, assuming the
a
•~louds stood ·edged.in g6ld. What scent 'of fresh grass amazon role as a male protest, made advances to me from
:_.filled the. air! :Wh~t sweet colors enamelled the vetches behind. "Damn it all!" I cried out, "This can't be true! Of
. . I
... .. and 1upms .. course I'm dreaming. I must be· at the Vet's, and one of
• .'The ~alf-forgotte~ surge••of youth l ~xperie~~ed 1~ad.e those double-crossing bastards has given me an injection
.•.·me afraid. Why was·_Marpha.beside·1:ne;Marpha·whonl •
to stimulate sexual dreams. Tney'll come in with a cine-
. .
_- • • • • , , . I'd loved .long ago· and who· had later made a name for f · camera next to register my reactions, so that som.e pro-
••h~rs~lf an~ won s~veral_b~gpriz~~? $he was· up· to _allher .t fessor can demonstrate my behaviour at a conference ~here
32 • • - •. . . j . 3 Bluth, The Horse's Tale 33
. .. . . - . ,,. ·... ••• . . • - ••... ·•· . ?~ i;,~·~"-<-~·:-r"~,-~:,,-,~ ••.. ,< . ·..• . . ' ....
th;y discuss :inimal pSychology, is. this wh~~~~- tr . . . :_.. .< •. • with their wretdi- •
• : come down ,to? 1?ey migh~_as Well seli th - Ienc:eha ., . - , ,' '. . •• he • ersecute me , ' , ,• .
., ·. . .· e fll111 s_, I ·.,, ,Why must~ y p. . t turn me into a satyr, .
Cochon Cinema at Nice and be done With .t ,, ~o the • • peace· D they want - 0 • • • • ••.
1 1 d experiments?, ~ .0 . , ' Don't they know th_at for
- l felt ~yself tre1_?blingwith disgust,,i wass • •:~• , :. . . e , It's disgusting· . . f
.. •..- • . . . •. . . . . . .. . . • Weat1n I ·: at tnY age. . : t be the. accompamment o_ .
. .' ••ing my tail_fyom side to. side, cl~:>udsof flies_fro111~'
ash. . ; lligent beings love_mus - . .. •
..: corner of thE!stable swarmed round my body. 11/~e_ry .• :::,e ?''._. .. . . . d :o ~ode mti with ·her pale eye
•:_:of privacy and of _delicate feeling seemed worse. th:s· lac3t . But.the moon con_on~elt med my back on her· ~nd-·on
. k .• n any . - k. d of frenzy, u
,physical·maltrea_
tment. Wide awa e ow_,I___ r_u_sh_.ed
to_the.
?_. ~. until, in a in . • ds a river which wou~d its
. alloped away towar .
door and made my escape;. • • , the fartn, g he ni ht and dived into the water.
I d 'h 1 • • · silver coils through t g '· . - . .
• Ever,ythingoutsid_e g immere wit si verradi~~ce;tnoon~. • . . h ck ·t didn't seem very cold,. and, sw~mmmg
shine, I 'thou_·
ght at once. Jlie farm_buil_d1ngs looked frosted· _Afterthe firs~s h~h 1 . ·p.le·s I soo~ felt soothed. I identified.
. 1 throug t e rip . ' . . . _.•
-as if for ~-Christmas pantomime. Thti stagy look, whim I· '::: ~th the river. As water is drawn to the se:i,lifo i:-;-
·• : s·ee~ed. to be . .left
· over fr~ni
~
my ·dream~_didn't' please tne• • I'• .' tow~rd s death., death
drawn . .is
._.our ·home; and
. so, abandon
. .
a
·: -·_atall. I ·was·n~ 1onge.r_ child to be fascinated ~y inake-_· [ •.•. ·.- ·: 1fto the water ·1became a harmonious fragment
-.. believe,but -a matu!'e, well-integrated horse. _Artifici.Jity J· :t::::nce'once- mor:, _· •• ••• ' • • . ;.
•. didn't attra~t me: I thoroughly disliked the phony ~cene • • 1.;as -~lad to feel the riv~r bearing ~e away .fr~m the
now before me, whichreminded me. of Christmas Day on • f .•_ •fann.Light as it was, the blow from Hugh's fist had°injured •
the-circus Stage. - , •. . _ . . • • [ . me t~o much for me to retUm tO him. What a poor return
I tli~d to shak~off the dream influence by taking deep ~ he had' titade for all .my !Oya! service! For a JOng tiine d I,
breaths of afr and _tr~tting-briskly about.- 'it -~a~ no good•. f~ b~en.his devoted fr~end~But· now tt _s~emed t~ me that a •.
:· The landscape still glittered like tins~, ~rid·e; the moon: rt' . lackof inner warmth. made·it jmpossible.for .hi~ to--r~turn:
•• Slende~birq1 trees glea~e-d :chastely lik~ :srio~· niaidens. f,{ , ··. my .friendship or to love any living' thing.' In inymind l
•. The more I looked at th~ sugary vista the ~ess I ~iked w~at ..~ ' • saw him encase'd in y~·rt~e as if by' marble, ~s though. h~ . •.
•. 1 saw. Sudd~nlyI realized that· the cause of my dis~ati~- /",; •walked'about inside his own tomb.· Rath~r than particip~te
• :actionlay in an·aggressivem<10dresulting_from my a~i- !1 in a nattlra! lo~e, he had chosen me.· foi his·. ~ompanion, • .
'cia~lystimulatedsex instinct·.It wa; just a temporary sense [-~' a sober horse, instead ·of p;~tty girl wh~ ~ould have em~ a
of ~u stration from which I was~suffering.· ''Damn it all!'' 1"~ br~ce'd·•him· an_d borne him.:childr~n. I~ the end he· had
I cried again. "C , h •.
34 _ • • •• •
. · •
• •
•. • i.• - even t
• .· .• . '. ant t ey ever leave :a dign#ied hors_ein :~
; a• '
d
• • r.:
•
•
•
urne against me Excessive virtue had fr
.;. ..
•
h•
ozen ::
 ·.· •.,-~·~~·"
•·into bitterness, so that, not content with.· :: ·,;, '_' • .• '1/-:_ • •
. . self-to ,f • ,..
was obliged to hurt those with whom he . . . rtttre, he
catne in
• It was a relief to forget my sorrow and d . contact.
r1fl:With
stream. · - the

. d that the moon had gone down and -

sently I notice
Pre • d me were turning from black to grey.
t the ripples aroun
tha . Liftin my head high out of the water,
was breaking. g
Day h . had widened greatly and that its banks
l .
I sawthat t e river . .
• . "th dwellings factones, warehouses, the
were built over w1 ' .
· . f b. town. In the strengthening light I saw
·outskirts o a tg .
ships with seagulls wheeling and screaming a~ove_them;
• I saw bridges over which cars tnoved lik~ toys, chunneys
belchingsmoke, an islet overgrown with rank weeds where
inappropriate swans roosted or slith~red down mud bank~
. \
into the scummy foam.
• What sort of city, was this? I f~lt repelled by the me-
chanized atmosphere it exhaled. The closed buildings had
a.miserly look. It was hard to imagine· people living here
of.their own free will. After a while I swam nearer the shore
where the banks were more open, the houses further· apart. ·
Now I seemed to have reached a residential rather than a
business quarter. It was broad daylight by this time, people
were walking up and down on the riverside embankment.
I noticed a certain similarity about thei~ eccentric dress • -
and general app_earance. Many wore sandals and corduroy
trousers, the men ~ere bearded, the women had long
straight h_air.Most individuals of both sexes were spattered
36
37
 . :
,;

.. :',....
..--~
~,..~\
~· . •... .,, -•.- .-,-,,-
•

all o~~r 'the~r clot·h·. ..-.-·., .••• •••, ·: •,·.. -•.·-•:·.:····:

._-_.. ~. -~~~~t---~--~,-< . ·,
. · . es with · . • , ~ . • ..•f ,
· shrieking gulls h ·d .' ~ari~us cof0 '._·.• .:,•. • - • ·f' _: , ·., .· . .-. : •. . . •. . .... ed body so deeply
a rained d ttrs • • • , . •. well-proportion
··Th . own a ,_,asth t • muscular,
_j •, . f Hawaii or Samoa,
. ' .. e humans were as untid- .. • n e:xcrenient ough·th ... anu a , •d to be a native o . ••
Y and n • . of -1 · e ba•• • that •he appeare wearing suggeste d •There
.• out to each other in strid o1syas the·b- o1Paint. brown . . . cloth he was ,
- h . . ent tones '"rt_ . Irds .! . the flower~~ tom 1 d debonaire about. him (some- ,
-. . t e same time pretent· • • .l. ne hous ' calling as orneth111g . casua an d)
. .. . .· . 10:cisand shabb es looke h ld have disapprove ;
. _mean, as if they harb d ,b Y, old-fash· 10 d at .was s .ch I felt sure Hug wou .
~re o solet .• ned thing of wh1 ood-natured assurance, at once
• not very prepossessing. But I e ~re1udices.Allth·. and . sort of. ur...ee-and-easy, g •
. was getting cold Iswas . such as one sometimes
I felt I ~ould swim no furth , . •andexhausted a . ·bte and engaging, -
>- ' ·. . er, and so I,. • .5h irrespons1 . . •
rogU1' d . young children. • • •
1 . ~- shiveririg, and shaking th scrambledash ' • seesin sailors an in
. .· - . . . e ~ate~ off, me as b ore, · • · . • 1"
. 1 k at our visitor. .
. . • • The place where I'd chosen to I d - ~st I-could. "Just oo . b ,,,,
. . an was sect d . b. did you ever see such a eauty •
.. • P1easanter than its surrounding ~ "A real Ara ' . - • .
,\
d . u ed and · · • h · me from"'" ,
. - s, a gar en filledWith• "Where can it. ave co ~- . •. .
, • - hazard profusion of fruit, flowers. and ve etabl . a hap- .. . . . . f. . the excited girls were all twitter-
.h h . . . g es,1nkeepi • , Likea flockO cananes, . . .. _ • •• .
·wit . t e untidiness of the district. At fi t •1 • _ng ·.•• .. 1· . . d me calling out comments and questions,
.. . . d rs • was too pre~ . ing,c1rcmg rou~ , ' .• • . • 11-
. . : , .. occup1e _ to pay much attention to anythin •
. . . _ . . g ex~eptcropping . ;j~st as. ~m~z~d at my appearance _a_s
I was by th~~1rs. ~u . -
. the grass and drying myself in the sunshine·•1was·sti'llsatts- • . • . . . . lf together I hurriedly apologized for my intrusion: .
mgmyse _, _ . . . ·- . .
.
, ;'

_fying ~Y. appetite and.enjoyirig. the wa~th when ~O~e and,thinking l must have blund~red into a t10dist..colony,
•movementdrew_my eyes t9_the house in.the background. ·if it wasn't a··pri~ate harem,J prepar~d to beat a. retreat. '·
. • F?r. ~ ~omeht t~en I thought I -fil~st ha~e been· gr~zingon ' • Only:my reluctance to plunge into the riv~r again ·made -
· ·_cannabis indiana or sampling the aspho_dels•of the hea;en- • ·~e hesitate; for there seemed t~ be. no other way out of
I \,.

.'I
. .· . ly fi~lds~Coming towards me was a crowd of young girls; •the garden, unless one went thro~gh the hous_e.on. the, _·
' , . . ~ ' • .•

__':·_.lovely blondes, redheads,. bru~ettes; some pal~ skinned.as opposite side. .•• - • ,
Circassians, others wh.ose bronzed flesh glowed like apri· ..'~Whytalk about ~oing away_?"the young ~ali. impulsive:.

··.'.-·_
. . · c~ts in the sun; all of the~ completely nude a~d apparently _· .· . ly exclaimed:"Why should you leave? We're, delighted -~o... •
. : -ha'vey~u h~re. You'l1 ·be·~ godsend. to •us as ·a model." •
- • • unself-c<?nscfous,~ttering 1itt1ecrie~ of surprised admiration
• .Putting his str~~g brown hand on my ned<.to res_tr~inme,
_:at the. sight of me standing th~re.
...•he ~ent on to expl~in that the place was an art school of
••' •' While' I_Was gazing at them in astonishment, qui~e con-
. whichhe wasthe principal and that.the ~irlswere his•pupils.
founded by such a~ exhibition of ~harms,theywer~ f6llowed
_·by -~n extremely handsome young man· with. black\vavy, ··.Seeing that I-looke~ ~ather take~_aback, he laughed, gave
' . . . • /. ' . ' ,, •
·39
38 ,. :
\"• .
 me a charming sly wink d . ·_ .• ••.•.• .. ,··_.,.. . . , : • £this studio " I was ~old, "is that·
'an conti· • • . advantage o , • h.
. ·f I' nued- ''Y • ••
mg t ma polygamist ' I suppose. Well ev • ou're \Vond • , ,,fhe great d n. one steps in and out wit -
art of the gar e •
ed by what you might call an int ' • eryone here i 1·et- ·t's actuallya~ 1· It's possible to work on abstract
' erpersonal s tnk. 1 d'vidtng ine, 'd
D on t get the idea that we're un principled
• . lllarnage bond · ut anY 1 d hen by simply moving outs1 e, to
th 0 . . ·n here, an t , . • 'd
. our own moral code and ough.Wehaye • paintingt d paint in a natural style. Bes1 es,
. keep t o 1t . very' str·
ture's shapes an h
each one of us is beautiful eno h tctly. Beside 5
tudYna rrealist juxtapositions. In what ot er
- ug .to serve as a . s, the most su
one gets fi d ch a group as an Arab horse sur-
all the others, ~nd, as of cours·e yo k tnodelto . would you n su . •
u now' beauty and . studio . abstract patterns m the back-.
ness always go hand-in-hand. Wh d , ., good-. d by nude women'
. . . y on t you sta • h rounde fr .t flowers a cat and the equivocal glance
JOin our community and become O
. . . ne o• f us? You'' yb ere, round, eggs, u1 , , , : , • , .
fut 'too, an d an Arab horse model • ·n ~ .g ' .,,, •
. . . Wt gtve us• re~ti
. the•
Just . f beautiful poetess • - •
. o a d h .• tense dark-haired lady he indicated;
stimulus we need for our work." • . . I looke at t e m, , • •
. . ·1·fshe intended to make me the obJect of one
"Unfortunately I shouldn't be ·able to J~o· • •your col-
10 10 • •• wondenng . •
of her lyric effusions: she was eyeing me very attentively.
lective marriage," I had to obJ.ect · But the t eacher amly
••
But the art master advis.ed me sotto•voce to keep out of ••
~aved this aside, saying: "Why not? The. contemplation
her lines, which she always chopped up in a way that en·.
of beauty is a sensual act in itself." He laughed, a11d,with •
tirely obscured their meaning; sllpposing they ever had any.
· a friendly slap on the flank, urged me ·to turn round. -
And·he quoted: : . _
Now the house was straight in front of me, with all its
"The horse's back, just breaking under sin,.
doors and windows open on to .the garden sloping down
would bear the sweetness of my violence:
to the river. In the middle of the big main studio I saw a
it's neci{would arch against my, velvet skin,
dais supporting ahuge marriage bed to which on~ mounted my nostrils sting with 'its alam1ing scent." ;_ •• •
by sev~ral gilded steps. Peculiar pictures hung on the walls. "No, thanks," I whispered in:·reply. "l don't long for
The place looked like a crazy concert hall stage, with ,th~ . h h h cinths bloom. Inti-
th ese songstresses m w ose earts ya
bed occupying the place of the grand piano; • b l'k • • • a nudist colony on
macy with her would e 1 e 1ommg
Accompanied by the principal and his students I I went · f th flesh is all right, but
the astral plane. Na k edness o e f • th way of ex-
•inside, scrutinized the pictures, took a turn round the ex- ,
nakedness of the· spirit is going too ar m e
alted bed. The room wa_sspacious enough to accomodate • •b d . rth looking at, natural,
posure. I grant that her O Y is wo ••
several .horses quite comfortably and , at the ow,n er,s sug-• graceful and balanced in its proportions; but the spint of
gestion, I lay down on a mattress in one corner. • 41
I

40
 .. '.· •• • •• .·.:__::->;··,.-:·~~: ·-.~>-
... · ~this fe~al~ is n~t!.Wh r. I _·.. ••.· _.' ..,:.;':~·-:·_ •.'\·. --~,~
.• .
cnes all the time~ 1 6 t
. ye se should. • . . .''·. •.. • , : •. . .
• It Utter th •, .': , . ,_,-•;..: :_:\ .••• ~ . -,' : .b·-~n made in the art- school._I : •
. •. . . ·_. . e' you she's rno~ . .OsePiteo •, _ ·ch had. evident 1Y, e _ -
tist1c, too'. Whether ·she' d . . e autistic•_than.alts_ . b. wl wh1 ,,, fr shing. Meanwhile the t~acher
• ,• • . s escribtng a o . China tea most re e . • .
she s really only thinking. b god or a glad· r • . ..•foundthe .1 thered round: me with blocks m
of the gtr s ga • . . .
• . .. .a out herself A iator. ., and some - d wing "An Arab horse dnnkmg •
ev:erything gives her an emotional k·ck· • . nything ·a d. • . ds and began _ra • • ...
• I and n . their_ban d 1· te bowl makes an interestmg c_om-.
mg into words . p I • sets her . .. · • f that e ica . . , . . - .· -
, . , urp e words violet . k / . quiver- tea out o 1 d • . . • ". --
• d • . . • .. , , pin ' gold • . .... ·•·. ,, the art master _de~are • _., • . . . • . .
wor s; erotic as ldac in springtim . . en, ebony
h fl . . . . e, arttfic1alas th . Position,
. •. . When he stopp~d
to• correct· •his
_· . .
· pup1·ts:' wor k. , I got up.•.
• · . . ,
o~" er nger nails. What an exhibition!'" .- .· .·.esuns~t-·
.• ~ ..••.. • l~ok at the· sk~tches myself. The _painter _had :·.,-
•
. •• But ,
all• art is based on ·exhi'b •t· • . -
. 1 10n1sm"th
• ·: . ··.; •.. _.,. ..·• . to ·have a .. . . . . . . b . h
"Y • . . . • . , e painter ob. , . •. -. . . • almost angrily at the poetess; ut m t _e
t ed • ou can't deny that we all .• , : . . .• Jee~•• shown me gazing . . . ..
..•. ·: • • . . • .. - . . wa~t ~o exhibit our Work,,.• ••: . ·d. . •. • .I appeared· soft-eyed hke a lover .
• ·ts'· rawmgs . . . ..
. I ag~eed with this up to a· point: b t • , h • . . • gtr • ,, 1• taimed ''You mustn't mix art with erotics. ..
. .. . . . . u at t e same ti "No no exc ,
I recalled how, when l gave 'in.. own . . . • • . . tne .
. • . . . . . y_ . artist1_crepresenta~· . . _. y oumus ' t :ry. to _expressme . in rhyth~,
. . britiging out th!o~~h .
tl(?QSon the_ stage, it was always the beauty of th da. •: :.,:-.'.. he rh thm th~ essen~e of the uniq°:e·~?rse which ~sm!-· •__
·
- h'ch . . e nee .· .· _t y . . . . . . . . ·.• .. ·. . .- .
.•w i_ .
. ••. I was concerned
- .. to exhibit not
,_. my ·own
· .h•
· and some,.
;, ;°I'..,~. • - r ,·
-. ·self." • • '. ~- .
:' form'. And I explained ho~ .I.'used to _be carried away, not·. ·. • . :::Then. 1·~en~ on-t.o teit th~m that I _knew quit'e a· tot·.
_by_~Y:own ~eC:Iings,but _by the terrible drive a~d joy.of· ~ :.·: . about drawing,'having st~died choreography at one time, •.
the music. • , -•• drawing not o~ly ~y o~ ~t~ps in the b:allet, but those
- "Nevertheless, ~rt must be sens~;I/~ said niy. c~mp~niort,• •. •of ~y partners, and. also d~signiD:gcostu~es an~ _scenery. :·•
. in his .didactic
.. teacher's·w·a.y••"Tha.t's·
. wh y• we
• 11ve
.
our• l'f,,
1e · • All my dra\Vin.gswete originaily· ·mac;le~ith ~y' hoof in
·_·,_ofthe senses· together here .•The sight of· our ~uclity sti-· -~ ~rayof sand~·though later I -~as p;oyide.d with a: kind
mulates us. Even ~o_urpoetess flts into. th~ b~autiful pattern ••··; •·.ofplastk, mat~~ial_in which they coul~ b~preserved for '.i ••

•as long as you do _no~ore than look •at her. The thing •... technical p~rposes/ . .. .'._.
__.·.•••;. . . . .,:~-:
-
is to ignore_hei- spirituali_ty;.it. doesn't ·am~unt. to much • • '· ·Everyone was int~re~ted in th~ idea, and I agreed willing-·
: ~nyhow; not~·at Jeast, as_~egard~ reHgion·.Betwe~n 00 ;-:'; . •. i .ly ·togi~e a d~~o1:1str~ti~n·.
o~ts~de_'.
· I~. the garden I Hrst'
selves, she's known as·. th~ :»lost sheep. • b
, . . «
· h ,
ecause. s e s ·:went throug~ -~~me
exercises. ii:t.~rder t_o los~ myself in
. no longer living with one of her shepherd_s.'.',:.· .. ·) the dream of the dance·. Moving my forefeet _incircles, I
• We both laughed; and I relaxed_ a"n·the': ·co~fortabfo . ' gradually b~gan to draw lines·.in th~ s~ft e'arth of a flower-
~at~ress. _Tea was brought to_me in an elegantly shaped . a
•b~d~~ra~in~ patte~n ~ith closed ey~s.ien~anced ~i~~ the . ,..
42 . , ,, ..~ 1
• ·•. 43.
 ,· . . . --~~-:~-~~~ •• ~:

Pythia at Delph· 1· . . / •. - .• , •
1• n this
· way ,
on t h e ground cloud tny hoof t • • •. -r... ·· :". . . • . dream and )"our o..:i-nrhythm, you
.I s and sk endert • • b your own •
g1r s with arch d b Y, tnounta. Y l?l1pr gaided- Y spective and compose a world-vision
e rows. I wa ins, hills essed te your per . •
I looked at it T s pleased With ' andlo willcrea
,
•
d true to yourse •
•lf " •
• o my adtnirin . the res Veiy
all the forms . g audience 1 . Ultwh curate an , • •
ac . d h t the girls were paying less attention to
were naturall pointed en I notice t a . '
produced by my ho f " y curved in the p· out how •d than to the picture I'd drawn on the flowerbed.
.. . o . I cail it H tcture b • h t I sa1 • •
writing«, as ex ooflsm. ,ft' • ' e1ng w a h _ inter admitted that, though it had a certain
perts phrase it whe s not »hand . Event e pa -
masters · In my· case it' h n spe ak·tng of • . 1 ality it was full of elegance, grace and vitality.
s » oof-w • • certa· an1111a
qu ' -
unique stam r1tmg« which • . in "We'd better give you some clay," he said, "So that your
p of my personality unprintsthe ,,
work. Van Gogh painted h' . on every piece of work can be preserve d •
. h . . ts suns and lll.y Two of the pupils brought what was required, and I -
m .t e comma. form . In my . . drawin grasses and t
rees went on making pictures, including one. of _theart master
shape everywhere. jus·t a 1 gs you flnd the hoof
. ' s cur s. are to b • and another of the big bed in the studio. They were good,
art manifestations of th C 1 . . e seen in all the
e e tic period wh • but I wasn't quite satisfied; something still seemed _lacking.
A pollo became an ab t . ' •en even ancient .
s ract curling desi n C "What we want is colour," I decided; saying: "If you girls
or hoofs are th . . g • urls, commas
e art1st1c elements of • , willkindly dip my tail into your colour pots, first the blue,
self-expression m . . . a picture. A horse's
ust mev1tably be H00 fl then the green and the yellow, I'll be able to back up
it all out." · sm. I've t_hought
against the casts and finish them off." _
The teacher, who had bee • . • • The students were enthusiastic:· and with their help I •
. objected that . . n listening attentively, now
pnnciples of per • succeeded in splashi,ng in some very effective tones; blue
existed · h'ch • specttve and composition
" w I must be considered as well. . for the sky, green for the landscape, yellow for firm sun-
Allcreative work rests on rh h • burnt flesh. •
I replied "A . _ , yt mandnot on principles,"
· picture or a •p , • "Marvellous 1" my new friend exclaimed 'generously.
an essay by I f h · oem can t be thought out like
' z:ue o t umb A • • "You realty must ~ake a serie·sof picturel?like these and
it depends on 'fl . • n essay is something dead;
c1asst cations like b .• • then .we'll arrange for an exhibition.' People will pour in,
But a poem is a d urean:cratic headings.
ance, a dream and I' • the gallery wilt be sold out. Hoofism, as you call it, will
incompatible with h d.: •' a 1vmgmusic, quite be the artistic sensation of the year. It's high time an origi- •
ea mgs and das 'fl •
is true of a pktur • . s1 cations. The same
. . e 1 you can't build it . nal movement was start~d in this country. We've'. been
preconceived plan y up according to dependent on foreign art far t~o long. You will save our
s. ou need synth es1s, • of course
44 · : and •• . I ' •
• • '

' ' ' : ' ·' 45

 rep.utatio~ ~y· pro.v·d· · • · ·, · ' ·• .' : .· • ~,· ~, ;/::,,_;~-?- ·"7c=-~•: , • / •••
. I tng us w·th , ,:- .. _."l .. . •.•. •. . • • • •.• , .. • •

of our very o~n. H ,_1 .- . ~n innovation'.; ., :, ! , :•-.: • '.:_._·_ •••~,••• ·.1·ac~binetminister,orahead~surgeon.

•• • urray for Hoousnea D
d, . 111Pa' . , . - . 1' a. genera
,mtin . • ., . . - officia: •. ., ,. . . climb unless . you b ecome
. • . 11 lts g .•state . • ... far as you ~an . . .
• .,, - .. ,: creator,,; i . -·,,rhat's-abouta~ d. "My.advice to you is: Keep-:_.·
"· ·\ . In the evening the ~irls g.Q_tdressed•. a ·.... • . ,, I told the by-stan ers. •. h. h•• b •e· •
tn I ·, a yogt, , 1 Those who try to nse to<;>1g a OV '
. • .: , guests d~opped in, there was stnok·. , _.ea.Wasserved.. • . roperleve • . . . Th . ,
:• . d -- tng and b . . , •to your P • •oft~n end up· with broken ~eeks.'? e •• •
. -• . . an finally ev~ryone strolled ff • . _eer-dr1nkin . - . e ancestors . . .
. . .. . . . . o to the n • hb . g, their ap . d the.beer I had drunk were begm?,ung • : , ..
.•.' .•.• . •. I'~ had -a good feed ·of oats and I. . e1g ~ringPttb. k atmosphere an . . d
. . . . went along t st11°Y
1 tly· I felt somewhat unsteady, an .:
•. , 1tve1y a~d gay: . .· . ·.. ,, _· . ... oo,,feeling to affect me unp easan , . d . h • e,,
. . • . ath~r-abruptly: "Goo mg t, e~eryon • . : .
• ,• _ • , Th~ whole district was· c~n-g~egati·n' h :_,. _·,. finishedup r . •. •. . _. •- h• h _
. . . .- . g att epuhltch . . • k d "f ·t -wasn't time to break up .t e party; w ere
·: ru~ors ab~ut me having spread like wild fl •o~se,.. . • I as h.e i ~t· g girls led me back t~ the studio. •
.• I • d' • . re. All these• upon t ~ sm1t_n . , . - . - .
• • peop e wante to· see me to find out f • h ·. •. . •·
• . ' . or t emselves if I
.. couldreallytalk.Sittingandstanding.allro d h . .• ••.. :_.•• d, - 1: iwork went·on duri~g-the riext f~wweeks\ -•
un , t ey Crowd- _,. . A gr.eat ea o · . . ._
~d the smoky bar, staring covertly or oj:,eniy at me ·a~cb~d-. -.- _ •_
-.·.
_ 1 con muet· d to practice . my Hoofism,·
.. while the
, . students·
, , • . mg to their differen~ natures, and sometim_esapproaching ••• r~ ared the· clay, ~ixed the cqlours for the final painting,
,p p .. , . , , -
on_eof ~y compa_nions with a request for an intr~du~tion. and baked th_e•fi~lshed pictures _in'a ~iln:_.c~ass_design~. •• -•
The situation reminded ·me_of the old 4ays when the circus _• ·: : •adorned.so~~ of the casts~ When_.c6~plete, the pictu~es -•.. ,
manager used t~ have -difficulty_~nhiding me from irtqui-. • ·-· looked not uniik~-·ancient -~~saiC:s,except that their ~~m~ .
.ti ' . ' ' '
•}' . 'SI ve_-eyes. The_ owner of the pub~-seei~g what lot of, a _-•: position w~s les~ mechanical and that ~hey owed_n9thing •
. cu st om __
l'~ brought him, provid~d· me·with a large.pot of - to naturalism. New:s of my· _workg·ot about: experts came _
. beer free of charge.·. , ··.:' . •.•. ' . _,'·. -· I • .'·_. •• - , '.i , to. the studio;. import~nt critics, and ~ven .the head of a •
As·I ' - · •· ·· · ·. •• •. • ·_.· ·•
. -~ , drank, I began to ~eel bored _by the uninspired · •state art gallery;· gazed at the ~asts. in amaze~ent. I felt
-babble of vo,i~eswhich ~lle_~my_ears~ To liven things up,,-~- .• _slightlyinjur~d-becau~e these _peopl~.were._not informed_
I st _arteda so_rtof_p~ivateperforni~rtce_.ofmy own, demon-'.·:. that the ~utho~ of,.this Hoofism which they ·admired so
-: s_~ratingthe art:. o~_-metamorphosis,,i~-p~rsonating a £sh,> • . •much 'was.a h.or~e~But the art ma~te_t-~~sisted ~pon the'
~ sn_ake,.a ~og, a~. ith1thyo~a~ru;, a chiJ'.n.panze~:
-slipping .• ~onc~alment; saying that if_~hey k~~w .the truth the SO"'.

mto the skins of th~se ·creatures~:identifying·•tny~elfwith·. ~- icalled expert~ w:ould be prej~diced against t~e. ne~ a~t
1
•.~hem, imitating.thei~_movements. :To:_end u·p·wi·th •.•1 • • t . . fo~ fro.m it~·;ery incept_ion.·_'• , •• _:• •
• - - •. , . I PU
-~n ~ si~ister :s~~~I, .~ssume_~the hea~y importance of -a •• ,: - ·._••__
.• ·111
this,·manner the: school of Hoofism cam~ into beini;.
46. ·,, ),.

,·' ',
 • ., ,"'' • • • • ✓,. ~ : ....... - • ...~.,.~ • ~·· / •' ; • • :· -,.\1;, .., .. ·,;..:,,...~~7'~~:--
..-n ..-:--~

The teacher himself, as Well . .. . ~~: \,~¼~,0-~~~~-, ... ~ ' ,•

Hooflsm en masse. They . . ~s-all his Ptt~·1 . ••.- •,i: . . ,•, 1 morning till closing time, con·
. llnttated tn t'l_s,ad ' r . From ear y . f
and paper, going so far as t O y techn!qtte opted admittance. ms of telegrams were delivered: telegra~s o
011
construe • can trea D rec
t h e shape of an artificial ho f h.
_1...
t an instru Vas tinuous s . of inquiry, of requests to puru1as_e._i •
gr h d o w tchcould b lllenti11 congratulation, . d museums fought their way
ap s an engravings as well a f e ttsedforlith, . ublic galleries an .
Th •l s or Wood o- tors of p . . the rooms. The clay picture~
e g1r s wore minature hoofs d cuts and pa·1 . h he crowds 1ammmg
• as ecoration 1lt. tbroug t V on it became impossible to ·
clothes, as ear-rings brooch s on.allth . ·k hot cakes. ery so
. ' es etc., so that the • e1r sold li e 1 r money. Not to be thwarted,
looking like members. of a polit. 1 . y Wentabout • td of one for ove o , . . •
. • tea organisation . . get ho f 11b ck on the imitative productions of the
w1th badges. Qgantities of potter d . ' covered ple then e a ' f d
Yan pictures Wer· peo . thing that was brought orwar •
Out un d er• t h e sign
• of the hoof. 1 d . e turned art •scho·ol' buying up every k h b
. . . ' a a y architect drew cher's fortune was made; at one stro e e ecame
blue-prints for houses and churches of . ·1 h up -The tea . • . . . . ... , .
. s1m1ar s ape.Certain d f mous
psychologists under Jung's influence attempt d . rich an a • • • • • • • 1
. e to inter- Next it was the turn of the critics. One or two scepttca
pret t~e new sign in terms of the totem and of psycho-• . or ~utious .noti~es appeared in the soberer jo~als; but•
analysis. Those who remembered Freud's hoy p~tient and. fromthe majority rose a paean of praise. Hoofism,it seemed,
his fear of being bitten by a black horse, spoke of it as a was the only truly representative form of national art._But ,
·castration s_ymbol.A philosopher of .foreign origin wrote as .time passed and the ~xhibition became a news_item ~
of the wandering Wotan, and of an enemy Field Marshal's even in the popular press, more attacks were ~orthcoming.
white horse which the .leader of the victorious army had -. These inept critics didn't disturb me: I remembered how,
dedicated to his King. Could it be that the Hoo.fistsre· • , years befor~, pictures ·acclaimedas works of genius in th er °
veal ed some ob scure d eep-seated xenophilia
• in their be· . •countries received. not h"mg b ut ms
• ults •and _abuse when
h~viour? Audacious pe~sons whispered that •members of they were exhibited here. ,
th e Royal House· had shown an interest in the new move· •A period of anticlimax _succeededthe clos_eof th e ex-
ment • Anyho w, H oo fism was in • t h e air. Even the dress~ h1'b1·t1·on.
I felt fl,at and exhaused .. No one. who hasn't ex·
designers followed the general trend; the front-open,ing , perienced it can realize the strained concentrat~on required
hoof-shaped skirts were most intriguing. . •• , for intense creative work. There was no reason for me _to
•• Th h ' • . , . • I had been successful '
e ex ihition, after so much publicity, couldn't fail to be dissatisfied; quite the reverse.• · .
b e a cot ossal success. ~Il day long, from the. opening day • • · •
where in the past, others far greater an • th I had suffered
•• , . ' • , 1 A I said to the teacher:
onwar d s, queues waited outside the entrance· doors for only ignominy and neg ect.. .s
48 Bluth, The Horse's Tale
49
4
 • "W~'ve bee~ ;nJ~dt:: \\7 , ', ·. • :· . ~0:;-~~ :~~'.:-~~/ ~ ·<;: /_Cc·~- - • -~ ••

pictures •~;e sold , : . e ve ~ac.foa lot°c:>f 1• . .. . . . • : . • • ·, • _'.· .• ::-:. •• : ,: _. •k. h•.• avafancheh~sfright-
•• • ·_. •

. ., rep~table an . :Illone -·..;·..... . ,··. ···'lhin1theirwor :t. e .· . • •• ·,,

, . sung our praises. W , . . d sensitive· , . Y.,_~11
'Ottr.• • he country se~ h he's become allergic ~o paper._ • -~-
- ,':
. . : .. : . e ve certainl
ful for." .._ . :..: .. •. •= .• .• : .. :_ • r • . ••.critic h .
got_a fot't.o·b/"' h a,..e..
t
ene •
d him s~. m
uch t at
.•
f the poor man an
.
d asked my companion
• fr •
...
- "Do~'t count ·_-t~o • ch. • • .• • • :• , ... t. ~nk. I felt sorrY or him at the same time sugg~st-. -.:"
'. . . mu on the ·h. h . • • _... , .• . my sympathy to . ,. • .. . . ·h·.. b. . • •
answered, somewhat di ' . 1g brow Ctiti••·,,· ' ' to_conyey ' I as ;ot a ;vnter· at all,_it mig ,.t_e mo~e:.
w;

. . . . ...· .. . . .. .scouragin~ly. "The r . .cs, he . that, as , . . . • • • .• ••

cream of tntelhgence h . b ·. . ·_ . y epresent h ing . b..1, for me t'o meet_Mr.-:Patronage_- .
ere· ut there aren't t e •profita _e_ . . ch. •.. • ed "The only difficulty is
and they're n t. fl tnany of th " . 1 .,,the-tea er agre ._ . , . ·, . .
. . o m uent_ial.Th_eirma1·nfu.nctio . . • . .. elll ~
.
_Certain
· . y, . f Hoofism come. m • t o the cate-
theartistby.diverting··.p·u·bl' :· d.,' ..- n_1~_~oprotect astheinventoro . _· ' , .-.·
. . .. - . . .. tc In ignation t d -. . that you_, . h. 'fy. Patronag.e 1·ust a~. much as.
ves: 'If We were dependent on th ' . owa~ s_~hetriseI~ gory of artists, w O terrt k .
. . . . . . .. e general public no . . : . ·..·. • .M Goldpen. you see, J>atronage nows mo_re
. us would survive'. It's only people Iik Mr G. , ~e of writersscare r. . ., •• ·: 1 11
. . .. . . . e . . . . oldpen.and • • .••t· -than anyone else ·here. Consequent y c!-
Mr Patr h k about pain mg . . .. • •
. • ' ' ona_gew O _ma_e it:·p?ssible ,for an a;tist of int~-' ' h ' g ~rtists.want to be noticed by him; hfs contJ.- I
grity to exist at all.".· • •• • · t e youn . • • . ,, . •• •
•nually.bei~g haunted by bad p1.ctures'. _;: -"· . . ,,.
I asked wh .th • • • •• - · • · ••.•
" • . o __ ese two .gentlemen were, and was told:' . '' , '"S~ G~ldpen and Patronage are i~ a foar-partner~htp~
- They possess more brains than anyone else i~ the country.- . . .. I said,laughirig.·"I p~esume t~ey didn't interest t~emsel~es
_ , Gold pen is a __
writer, high principled ·_an_d
courageous. For:- .in our exhibition?!; • • • _
tu!lcLtelyfor him. he's a success a; ~eII, ~oney flo;s on . : '. ' "You'r·ewrong th~re. They-~,discov~red«us, as_the say- •
to· his pag~~ instead of_·in~. Whatever appears ~ver his_, _:·.. •. •ing i~.Of ~o~rse they couldn'.~ig~ore anythin~. so· much
signature is highly precious; the n1o~es~ b·ecausehi~outpu·t- '' :· :. in the publk'eye as Hoofis·~-Goldpen wro~e·an e~say'on,·
_ _.: , is very small..• He beli~ves in, iiving as well a~•in. writing,'· • (·{·:. the concept of a creatiye ptjt;tciple,in our'_pict~res, and: :
0

'and is a· con~~isseur-of mariy-thi~gs, of foreign culture, of • Patron~ge 4ad ~hem re produc~d ~t great expense in book _..
women, .of food, porcelain." • • form: B~t.why' should they ,conc~rn·them~elves· any _fur"'•
•-.. ·_:''Good for 'him( I approved. ,·,1•should Hke t~. ~ake his;"_•,
: · ~her 'with ~s' since· we're ai~eady the fashion?
' .
Mr.Patro- _
' ' ,,

' nage has to look after unrecognized ·t~lents. ~ e're in the •.

''

acquaintance.'~
"So you shall," said the pain~er, "b~t it isn~t so .eas~. He :·,:••• •. unpurcl1asabl~great mas~er class. and_~ot-i~ need of his-·
:-~ust be_apptoa~ed ~aut~ously:_Ifhe s~~s.anyone ~~min~-, help·.,; . : : • - ·- •<. ·.' · , . . . · · ·.... · :·-• , · .
..~owards him _with a -~anu~~ript ·he _hides'in. 3:cupboard ..• :.: · • : · •"I ~hould like ~o send one of my pictur~s to th i·s ,Mr,.
, . •_Y0 ~ can't blame _him either~ All the bud~ing geniuse~ of . Patronag~/' i'saicl, aft~~~ mom.e~t's reflexion.·"~ 0 ~, to,seU
so ·'{ ' $i
 :,••~ -~~-·~
·,:·; :~ .··.:..¥~

it, hut just to give 't , ·h· - • ·_ ._~ ~~-·-':;

·. ., -~-·-~~-
.~-r:
l to ltn - ,, - -·_: fl,
tion of his qualities If 1 ' as a token of tn , - • • • ' - ' ' I • • : To show m; gratitude for the
'.

• on Y I didn' f Y app . ; • m imagination. . .

t h ese ~_lays;you m h . t eel so d I rec1a- stimulate y . d t become interested m these
. ust elp tne to u I and . t0 k I trte o •
s1on so that I can . get out of tired trouble he too ! d nothinO"whatsoever came out .
·t was no goo , P
A . paint something Worth tny depres- things, But t , d" I kept on complaining. "I
pprovtng of this idea th y of hitn )) "I'm depresse ,
·1 . , e art tnast • • f tnYhead.• h' state. I can't even • t h'mk •"
P1 s who did th • b
e1r est to stimulate tne
er calied • •
tn his Pu-
0

cant
' work in t is.
.
,
decided that I should see a et
, V r a·:· (
\. ' -:., ·•:...•
--·::,
some fully clothed, bringing da • d , s~~e Undressed, In due course it was • d1 .. . b t I .-· •,. -

. IJl
fr · d •
mt an flowers, cucumbers sw
Y an Patnt1
ng tnaterials -
'
n account of my P
• rolonged lassitude an .ow spmts: u .
. . d - r ,_::- j>·:_·/\/
, I.,./ , eet peppers ' 0 d that the case was beyond him, an .
': and tiger melons in such abund h , aubergines he at once ai:inounce . . '.
ance t at I excl . ' . . . doctor who prescribed vitamins, ~armtte,

', ·.
.
tably: "Good heavens! Wh t
.
all this stuff? Do you w~nt •
I
a am supposed
.
auned irri-
.
to do with
me to paint a whole kitch -
. sent me to a

my depression
. 1 did not improve under t_his treatment:
and de:xedrme.
.

. i·ncreased and I began to suffer from sleep-

, _ •__
-
,
.'i:t~_c
garden or to open. a vegetable shop?" • en . tu·rbing the art school by pacing· about the . ,I :, , . r
lessness, dts _ -
hi
The fact was, I felt thor:oughly down the d •. • N. •.•

. ,
.
t ng seemed to inspire me or raise my spirits I'd
ram. 0 •
d .
• no es1re
t~ pamt a conventional still life. or an acade~ic composi-
. studio all night long. The teacher, now really anxious about
me,ca lled l·n another
. phy~ician who gave me .a, thorough
•neurological examination. Nothing was. ·wrong with my .
. .
\J,:}
1_1~•-·,,.•_~:··~
;') .,· •. -,..,.~----
ti<;>nof pretty girls. At one moment I might feel an im- _-·.reflexes,it transpired, n~r with the fundus of my eyes; i :, i "•~ r. , ~, •
• '' ~ . "'"'. ,, ~

• pulse ,to dash into the open, to look at the clouds, at the . there was no clonus;·no· pain on muscular pressure, no·
river, to fix the magnetic eyes of a cat, or to follow the· • paralysis. Evidently the trouble was psycholo.gical. Still
'-\ ,.·
dance ~f leaves in, the wind: but the~ apathy would ove;- another doctor, a psychiatrist this time,· was .called. in: a ~ '1 •,'' ...;;: ...

come me before I'd taken a ,step. I'd no energy ·even to man who at once made a bad impression ~n me, ·mainly
· move. because of ~he malevolent way 'his face twisted every few
,..' t
Seeing how dejected I was, the teacher sent all the minutes as the result· of some neur9tic tic; it looked ~s
st udents away' and tried to infus~ some of his own vita- if he was snarli~g, and I noticed that the pupil of his left
lity· into my ~eins , po·s·rng.for me, n· · · h.1s
mgmg • 1·
1mb s ab out eye was twice the size of the right one. After a long talk
i~ the abandonment of some_wild primitive rhythm. When he informed me that I was severely depressed, though
that failed to arouse any enthusiasm _inm~, he did not give whether it was an endogenous or ~ reaction~ry depression, :•
u~ the attempt, but filled the studio with peculiar objects: he could not say without further investigation. He also
tricycles, bones, ocari~as and swans, with which he ho~ed said that I had been overworking.
52 • • 53
·.,·,v_,..:.,;;c~.·
Mo,- ,/ -\~~, ••
 . .. • •• _· ._' :_:'·---~~- ~-' / .. ;~~32;,-:,·~}'.:~ ~-f,c;~:,--:~. ;/ ~\;_
I felt· at th·e , I , , \r • ...,... !"· -,:I~ <.-,,~·f:-,·,.; ~ '} .' • ... ~ .. .. •
sametjmedes .•.·· .·, --·.,,. .'-'">-'~ .,·"?::·_· .. <; •• _- t•••-.: .-. _. ••. • •. - -
. the sense of pavi . pairing and . ·,. . • 'i ' : • :_· , . . . •-: . ,·. • f day and for paints ~nd •.
. .. . . J .. ng so.tnany .. cross.~ ·. ' . ··, , ·:·: • ecial places __or:.. • , 1 •
.. 'I -~,:f,'imany words 1·ust t h guineas and 1· ~at wa ·,·th . . •• your oats,,,.sp. • • d . h for. You can have the who e
• 0 ear at h Iste • '·, • s • . ~ for .· • coul w1s
. -- • :. begin, with~. I to.Id. h" h t e flnish Wh.at, n1ng-tos •. , derythingyou • h1"ghwall so that you can ,
ltn t on t. o . fore, lf It's got a •••. ,
at I had . e ~n~ • ourse • •h t
. terrible strain on. a . • certainly b w to i arden to y . o our heart'_sc~ntent wit ou
. . . ccount of tny . een ttnd . g d xerc1sethere t y • ·. . d . ,· - .
•, as a ~an working meclian1·ca· 11 Work,_a strain wh··,..1..er a dancean e s' "ling is what you_need,_~n you re
:- . Yaccord· · . 1'-'1 h · · overlooked. poi •• d on fine··
.c~uldn't possibly underst~nd. Th .. -~ng_to te:xthooic rut e,__ being . , . • You'll live there like a pnnce, an •••.·_' .
. . . .. . . e psychiatr· . . . . es, going to get it. "d . ~he park. just think_what fun •
.ed •.by this implicatjon ·that h. . .·, ist was offend- '11 o for a n e m • - ,. . •
. . .. . . . Is profession ti . .. days we ~ . 11the smart ladies craning their necks
.ative . gift.. Turn1·ng
. h"Is b ack on me. ,. . ·1. eeded no ere-.. . •it wil~be t o have a , - -, • . ..,- • •-•'..
painter· i_n rh~licious tone that I a~gn Y, he told the.. • , . d ire us,,, • • .. ·, • • •
. . . . . was a psych . to a tn :· •. • ch d It was a long time -since anyone -
b alanced, autistic and somewhat d • opa~h,ttn- I felt quite toU e • . -. , •
. . ·. . ' . . . . ·. egenerate. He won , - • ·th so much kindness. All the same,
~r__
._5.~_
.. ..: . whether . , . .I. .was ·an alco·holi c, or a.dd"ictecl . •t . .. dered,:·-. had spoken • ~
to me w1 • d l didn't thin'k t'he summerhouse '
. . Th . . .. . .• . o any drug, my depression remame • . w • •

., . . . ere was nothing he could d L • •• h 1 t pire the

r
'.
• . - . . . ... .. o ,o! me, anyhow, either wi~hall its comfort, ~as the rig t P ace, o ms
. , , · ~n.the way of analy~1sor _bypsychotherapy. He adviseda . , .•.. ~icture-1wa_nte&°~o paint for Mr. Patron~ge; sol sa:d sad- . ' •
_P!olo?ged ~est! pref~rably in some_~losed establishment.:. ..__iy-~
__ "Thank you. for your _generous th~ugh~--But Im ~ot •.-
. - •When ~he ~octor _hadleft, my art master frie~a became.·- . in need of a sanctuary where l can rest. I'm 11:ota retired -
. veryindignant."Fancy~~ntingtoputyouintoa nuthouse!" -~eneral who asks nothing ••better than :to ~lay_golf an_~·-
••
he e·~cla~°?ed_heate_dly."I never' heard such rubbish in all . lo.ok
after.his roses. tm stillfull of cre~tive' energy whi~ ••
··:•.-,--~
-myli~e. But d~n't.worry._' You've -b~en a great help t.~-me • • ·-~ust have som~ outl~t."
· ·' •• _ an~ I'll _st and by _you. Just look at all the ~-oney we'_ve• 5t ·:you_
: :'.: "Of course," s~id.the, teacher. ~~But_fir ·niuSf ge~--.•
·;. -~~de_ou~ _of-th~ e~hibitionfLookat my Savile Row suit! ,:_·_,stro~g ·and well:s~ that,y.oucan develop 'new re_sources
t
Look at my brancJ ,~ew suede shoes; should· I be ;earing · . • .within yourself ..You mus~n't ~e~ain st atic. Y0 ~. ~uS keep
._themif i_t_wasn'tfor Hoofis~?-What about ~h~t fine·house ••
• 111-oving_on·t~·new
fi~lds:" . _··.• . • • ·_ .
~it~ sixte~n rooms I've h~~ght'near the park·?·The work/,:'- : ~'N~~ fields.?" I repeateiift~r hi~ in_surp~_s~."But 1. ,,,
1,1

men are· still, in_it,,but I've had the sumni;rhouse rebuilt- •._. th.ough~·Hoofis111'
was,.such·a s~cc~ss?" \:\ . ··-,
\Ir , ··.·
!M ..
:·.as~studio-st~bleo~purposefory~u.There'scentral-heating. • • •"Certainly it was a· ~u~cessr _camethe impatie_~treply. - :1

1: . :,.
•already installed, and a warni water p~ol where·.•'.
. . . . .
. . ~;-
., you caQ. . . . ., .
•"k was the._fashi~-~--
.
But fashions ch~nge q~ickly. I know •
. y
I
I
I
I
sw~m_all the ye~r ;ro~nd. There.'s a__big loft for, hay;,·bins· • ' . bett~~th~n allt4es~·doctors what's ~r9~gw~t~ yo_u. our t ';

54 • . • · ,. , '· . ·,: ,.,· 55

.,._, '.,' '•
. , j.

ti~ •
~ ~¢.'-. ,-.
 ~,~. • ,.: . _, •• .- , •• • ,•.
'"'<· ·J,r ~.

-. . ~;
~ ... ·,~

';:.(
·;' ···i·x·
;· ~~~r•-
.,..
~.....,.··_,.....,._,,,;;,_:..
.. ,,r·,::

depression is nothing b : ... • :,,~,-~•~.: ~~-•· ·"T'ci~"T•r:,~ ••, •• .,

• ut a reaction b • , • • · · · h h of is an
conscious, you feel that H ecause i - . because painting w1t a o .
ooflstn h ' n Your . ccess simply . .
date. All over the country peo l as already got "n• wasa su1 roceeding." . . £.
but you must face up to th pfe are copy·ing it. IJrn. out of unnaturap ropose t hat I should. have my . hoo s ampu-
• "An. 11,, e act H fl
• oo s1n . • sorr"J, "Do you p _ d . . _
'; n:er a ' he Went on With gr . Is finished,, .,,, I inquire . . . .
1· th
'.
remained mournfully dumb ' " h owing e nt hu_sias111 a •I • tated, heen·too carne . d away
. by his. own excitement to .
I I
"I

development, chanoe? All th, w at's mo re natural,tha ' s But

. the' sarcasm, suddenly proclaimed that he had an .
b
through different phases e great
changi fr masters . have Passed n . . ation: »Claw-wn"fmg«, that was the thing! l was. ~o -
notice
' thesengf om one tsm to another.
Do you set yourself above insptr
ttachtiger's claws to my hoofs ' my tail was
. to .be platted -
alone. discovered your highest form f tnen,•. Hav~You
amous a twiste
and . dm . such a way as to produce
- . a ·striped effect
d d
fi t tr k , D •o expression at the . applying
in • . . pam
. .t to
. the casts. Aggressiveness
. was
. nee e
,, rs s o e. oesn't it llre you to th. k f • . . personal ag·gression, orgamzed mto collec- ,
I
I
fr h •h tn o progressing in society now. . .
om e1g t to height? You've outgrown H00 fl , • . eness and demonstrated in an art medmm,
• t h e time
1s • to seek a new medium •and a sm. Now . tive aggress1v , , .
.
ch Wh• new 1eveI of I would ca~ry the ·world by storm•'
a ievement. at are you waiting for? The whole world/ i_ -. I couldn't listen to his nonsense any longer. My~atienc~

spreads its symbols before you. With tigers' claws you :JI was at an end, and I declared un~ompromisirigly that I
could tend the bloody bosom of mother earth. you could
st . wouldhave nothing to do with such barbaric notions which :
• amp
th in cl~y the regal imprint of a lion's paw. With •mightsuit his primitive native island$but were quite inap·
fea ers you could portray the mystic mating flight of propriate in a civilized place. I approved neither of aggres·
eagles high in the zenith. With ••• " sivenessnor of collectivism; it was always dangerous and

1 "Nature happens ·to have provided me with hoofs," destructive and only attractive t~ immature people.
'i drily interrupted his flow of words. "Hoollsm is the right Now, of course, I was in the bad books.of the priucipal
nd
• a natural fonn in which I express myself." , who, giving me up as a bad job for the time being, concen·.
"Natural!" he almost sh~uted. "Don't you realize yet· trated on preparing a lecture on Clawism which would be
that naturalness is what you .must. avoid at .ail costs in entirely his own invention. He also imparted the elements
this country? To be naturalis to be thought worthless . dis- of the idea to his students, dressing them up in the furs
regarded entirely. Whid, of the int~llectuaJ critics i: go· of lions, tigers, puinas, jaguars, leopards, alld, when the
ing to notice you if you're natural, do you suppose? You supplJ of wild beasts' pelts ran out, even in the skins of
must put on an act here if you want to succeed. Hoollsm· domestic cats, in. order to instil into them the impulse of
56 ,:, 57
 . '
I ' ; -~,
c·,•,~~
• ••
• ' •. ~>~•'!f.:'"-,: ~-7:':::r.c-:~T. •
'I. ••• I
- ~·.~.·
•.•.,;~~~...,,-.

· . ,.•. ,-aggression. He s'ucc~eciedO • t -•• • •••.• • . .: .. :f'- :· - •• • :; , , , ·; h~cifj~~d up the.tittle house very
, ,. . , n ytoowell Th • • •.• .• . '· . .cl the pa1,:ite , . • - d 1 lined with Per-
·. . ·'.t.· a perfect welter . of violen ce, t h e girls
. . •.• . e studiob • • is wo.r ' . . . h the wartne poo ,. • • . ,. -
· · . . . seemed. eca,..._
.,,e _ to h • d thoug . I ·tr 1
· . mto so. many wildcats biti • • transf , ~1rio1.1sly,
an ' ck.' e· as rather absurd, Wl mg y .
• , ng, scratching and
0
rtned : 1111'~, • strU tn • •• ' •
. . blue tnosatc, d ·1 witn. My friend, alone.
other •as well as their teach . . •maulingeach s1an e of it for a at ~ s • •
. . . . er' . tn an org o k advantag . . of the girls, frequently
aggressiveness. Unfortunately th . . Y ~ released too ·ed by one or two. • •
. . .' e artistic results . . r accotllPant . b th ~nd I began to feel. like ,
extstent: no harmonious shapes : Were non. o . watch me in my a ' - •
. . . . . crysta 1hzed; the . came·to . . a:., dmiring guests, especially when
materials _were either tom to bit • • h . . Working , . . shown on to a • •• essences tn
. . .. s tn t e fray • ch .. a babYbeing : • scented
tract or • to
represe_ntations of the death inst· : • . ' or__. aotic ···· · · itors · threw pine· ex ·• - ., • • •
. . . . . met made a:blu . • ·. 01y vis . •.
pearance ..... ••- . •. . . • • . .· . . . rred ap••
the water.· •. ' h.' .· 't did m~ good:.tnY depre~sion be-
Finally everybody-~as w~m out "L· , • : •• •.• • _ • •' . Allthe same, t e res. .- . • •
·: . · . . . . . • et s go back t 1 returned I was ~ble to c~ncentrate
·. · •. • ·
Kathbar," _the girls suggested un~nim~usly·.. d•••• o o d·: .
. ~ • an a tem\)o· .• cameless acute, s1~ep 1
'!' •..... , ·, •. - . . _. • . ,· - •.• •• • • ·: ...

~ary revival of Hoofism took place •during wh'ch • .. ·once again...•. ·--. • ·, - • •. ,•• •• ' . • . -.
1 1
. . . .• ' . was at , ., · .. . · · . m.ore myself 1the art master reopened his _
iast able to produce anotherdaY picture. Perhaps the · · · Seeing me .. · . , •. • • • ••
, -_.ume~ts ~rging me to -evolve a new ·style•. My last ._-
___ interval h.id given my forces a chance to acc~mUiat~:Any·
;:ce of w~rk, though good, waS,jn his opi!Uon,not good
· . ~ow, I ~as not dissatisfied with the composition which
' ' en~ugh.Ce~tainly it wollld not do for Mr.Patronage, who
·.,: reacting against the violent_upheaval I'd_justlive4 through
had already :b~~ght several examples· of Hoofis~ from.
_inthe studio, was very tranquil ~nd balan~ed. two. sun.:
. , ' imitators of mine, an:d ~o~ld ·probably. scorn ~y picture,
,_like eyes of _profound-~ystical _bt{re,Unked tog~ther a in
.• ._ : '
ca~ gold~n sky. Peaceful c·ofourslay on th~ earth be~eath: as plagiarism. .· . .. .. . .. . . . .
!'Do you .mea~ to -i:elime that the originator can be· _
.the earth, uns~attered b~ ~iolence, slept lightly there,
child_of the u~iverse, cradled. in h~-r~eshoehills. . •.. I • , ':
a
superceded by mere c'apyist?" I exclaimed in disgust, • • •
Resentm~nt suddenly mad~ me see the.handsome brown-.·
skinned ra~cal before me in a new light, all sorts of doubts •
.·Ultimately I let myself be p~rsu.ided •to move :t~ th~
fl~oded·my mind, and I. burst out ·accusingly:_"W:'hY·.haye
summerhoUse near the_park. The _effortof painting this "
you al\-Vayskept ine hidden away from the public? Why'
• • •••_·:1a~~.picture had agai~. deprived_~e ~f: ~11energy. I f~lt
· . :: didn't yoµ_fo~ ·me meet f at~onage7 Xou could. ea~ilyhave
~eak and· irritable, the· perpetu~l stir. created by the pu-
~rranged it.'Are you ashani~d of me hecause l'mahOrsi:?"
pils and. · their. .·friends. ·got •on. my· nerves :. ••g'tad .to·••
. , l .was · . ·:''Do~,~g~t so e.xcited\"_the_teadier said in a propitiatory
•~etreat t~ the_quie~~ar~en_wher~I ~as left in peace.,T~ue '. •
5'9
·- ., '
58.
 ~"~~
' .

Aon~, eager to calm tne dow, . " ,, ,

' ' ' '

' , '. .•. :,-,,~

.

i,•:.'-~,__,,,,.,..
• ',-'

• _,
• ·'' : , ~-;?';'~-·~-,~--;. "·

.
. : -

~on t understand. • . n. You're - . . . ; . •.

•• . . practical · an arti · fJ , . .. • • • " • h' •da~k g.~ad-looking face I seemed to
. tnents to ., . : tnatters. l st and . th0 u ht of ts . .. . . .
' me: It s ~ue I'm a . eav~ au the Yott
e11erI _gchildish cunning of a pr1m1t1verace lurkmg
. an art school has taught Painter lllyself b arrange~
h tne how t b ' Ut ru 5ee the sly W s he simply exploiting me? Did he
• ow things ha~e to be • o e businessI·k. ttning . d its charm. a ..
managed y , I e, I k • behtn • ked up indefinitely in order that he
keep me 1oc
• ~e, surely? I've looked a·a • ou re not losing f . now.
• .• uer Your i a1thi mean to b my talents? The high walls of the gar- ·
up tip now. what h . nterests Well n . ht benefit Y . .
' ave you to co . enough rnig . h d romised welcome privacy .at the start,
made a small fortun f • lllplain of? lia . l which a P - ·
e or you? Prov·d . Ven'tI • en, mind me of prison walls. The suspicion
w began to re , -
comfort, even down to .a _1 ed You Withever . no db duped made me restless. I could no longer •
. warm swimtnin Y that I ha een . . .
you like this place I've fixed . g hath? -Don't . h • n lawn, or the swimming pool. The enc1rcl-
" . ,, .up for you?" . •. . enJOY .t e gree . . .
I hate It! Although h k . . . • . .mgwa11gave me a sensation of claustrophobia, . and, very
e spo e tn such . . •
.exerting all his charm and showin all •. a ca1ohngway,. ear1y one ·morning, when there was no one about, I took
dazz Itng• • smile . .• g his perfect teeth.in a
a tremendous leap and jumped over into the st~eet. •
' my susp1c1ons were not allayed ''Wh
you keep me sJmt up here.?" I demanded "Wh. h Ydo Nobody saw my esc'1:pe.I went quickly through the.
r I'k •
, tve t e a hermit behind these walls, I need
• Y s ouldI a
•empty thoroughfares until I saw telephone box, entered
• contact with .•.it, and, laboriously turning the pages of the directory with
people of tny own sort, sensitive, cultured pebple who
my teeth, looked up Mr. Patron~ge's address. It so happe_n-
can appreciate me and stimulate my creative faculties.,I .
ed that he lived not ,far off, and I soon found my way to
don't care whether I'm called a Hooflst or anything ~lse. .. his hous·e which, like the studio-stable I'd just left, was
The quality o~ my work is clistinctive, peculiar to myself, •surrounded by a high wall. There seemed to be a similarlity
superior to_ all mannerisms and modes. It doesn't matter in our positions. Was it possible that Mr. Patronage too
a hoot what phony ·ism your students take up; whether felt isolated and imprisoned? I fancied that, as a sensitive
they paint with claw~ or brushes the ·re·sult will ·be ·the intelligent man, he must experience feelings like my own. _
same~ because they're only capable of producing rubbish. I'stood outside the door, whinnying.There was no response.
And, to be frank, 1' don't think there's much to dioose I neighed again two or three times, as loudly as I dared.
between you and them." ,
But no one answered. • T he doar ••
m th e t 0 wering wall
Needless to say, my attack made the head of the art scho~l re~ained •blankly closed.' Not. a window opened.· Mr.
very angry. An abyss of cold distrust opened between ·, was ev1
Patronage 'd ent 1y unconsc1ou
• ·s of my existence.
~s. He. did not pay me a visit for several days, and wh~n- , -.• By this. time the c~tywas wakmg . • up; pedestnans
• hurried
• • . 61
60
 . , ':'"•-·7-:--. • ·, .• '- • f ,'-., : •• ,•." • J-1 .')f ' ..,- •,·,-a.-,

.' .
alo~gt~~pav.e~in:~.;~h~flt'tf
'•.. . I was afraid to ~
;-~
s 'Uses·anci- ' • ...... .·.·_
..:. ,•. \.:,,_-~_::~-ic::.~f
:~:~r-:::,'..1~-
•,.' :,11., ·, . ·':-:, ._.··. .' <: '.- •" ., ' : • ' •
~-~:~:c
. .
:,. --•: ' ••
. ·..
••
1
• •• R.• . . - .
• •• a tract attention b. • . . car~.had~' • •.. • ·.·.·' · • • .• • -d·
• ·1 to look at her dear, dean-cut {acef •
e1uctantlyJ t · ·· . · · Y tnakin • . · .PPear·d · • d· One·ha on Y • • -· . • ..
•• . . .
through th · •
urned away anc{b
• · egan w · .
g any fno .. , •_e•
r~.ll.ois
assure •
•
. h
d and at t e, sa •
~e
time ·open and full of good feel- .
. . • • •
e ~owf?..What wa . . andering a·1111 . - e.. shrew . . th t 5he ·was trustworthy and kmd-hea1'ted.• •
and 1 . h · • \ s 1 to do . 1essJ • . to know a - , . •.
ost, t e. thought of ret •. now? I felt I , 'Y . ing, .• ·. • t do me any harm: indeed, I saw that she ..
, h d ·1 ft··. • . urning to th • oneiy • Sh would no . .· . . .. . .•. - .•
' a -e was repugnant int . e environ111 • . • e. . - establish a friendly,contc1;ctwith· me. En-. . •
. . , ' o e~ahle. It
1 -· . e~t I. was trying to . . . . .,. • . . • . . ...••..• •
ques~on that I,_a serious.. . • Was -out of h d b. my glances, she approached and apolog1ze.d
.h .. ., artist, should l . . . t e_. courage y . . .. . . • . -
. e prostituted to mon • _ • k· . a _lowtny gifl: . .h . photographed me. without first_askmg.for my
. . . . . ey ma mg sche111 s to • for avmg . ·. . . . . . . : . • ..
pulo.us charming ro.gue·. H .- . . es by_an. unsc...... • •• • •-· • •• :.• .. . • • •
ow co ld I •"' consent. . . • • • ••
.• . · •. u
any other· passing-fad:,: h. d . - . •. • PC awisinor take u t'. · .,,·. " h
"The fact ,is, ~ ~ecognized you, s e sat • - ve een • 'd "I' b
• . · . • 1 a . to remain tr · •· · • M , · • L 1•ck· •
•hoofs; to remai'n "authentic". _. . .:. . . : . . u~.to tny ~wn.•_ . hopingto meet you for a !ong tim.e~ y nam_e~.s_, ove u .•• -•
· • Th · ·· • ' f • • ·• • ••• • •• ·- • · · · • andl'ni on· th~. staf(of >>Lookand U_sten«. I _cameou~
. _e ~Ols.e.<> the traffic increa~eci steadil _··'h .••. ,•,,, . ki f h d , .
hecame··cr d d d.. - · / . . . . Y, t e streets ~artyto take pictures_of the city wa .•ng. ut on e ay s
"Id..d .•h ·ow. e. , a:y.was getting into its str·i'de.•·Suns •• ·h··ine
•• • d
.work.. Then, when I_saw you stan .ing t ere, oo mg s:o
h • 1 k· •
g1. e '.t e ·roofs. I began to feel ner h , •. : .• . . .
alarm d S :· ·. : . . . . . ,vous, t en pos1twely _._.-
..noble,·with yo-µrfine .head and"beautiful .sc:deyes, like a .
.• e. • : uppos_e 1_was ru~-in by 'the police? -One didn't . ::.•princ;eanio~g:th~ to~mo nplace pe~ple, i ~-~~ carried away
0

;.,

ha~e t~_be familiar ~i~hall the.hye~laws to kn~w .th~tstray : . . by excitement and c?uldn't resist.the temptation to photo-·
. horse~1wo~Id not he permitted to ro.am about lo~se where--·.:. .•.• ·graphyou~ Of c~~rse the pic~ures ~ill only be·used with
,_:;:::·, .: •••• ~ver th ey please~ .. Already l was.being notked too: inudl: : yout.'approval. But,-1wonder if I ·canhelp you.afall? For_
• •... ·.passers~hy paused to ~tare· iti-quis-iti~e'ly;childre.; on their :·~·iou to.b~ strolling about quite alone_see~,s:·rath~runwis~:,,.:..•
. ~~y .t~ school· sh~uted :a~d pointed_ ~t me.' It ·was·only a• •I was. ~h~nkfut to put myseJf into her charge and, ~s. •.••
, . question 9f time before a··~onstahle came 'on' the. scene.'.· ..we went on together, I asked h~w.she h~~ ~ometo recog-.:'••
Now I_alm~~t~wished 'I couid ret~eat to my studio-~table,,• niz~ me, a~d why .the wellknow~ pe7iodi~al s~~ .had men· •
: hut that ~as i~possihle. I bad no idea· wher~ I .~as~ _:, ;; · . tioned ~ished to. get in toucli with me. ··_·:,•-· _._ .
. _ ·.•• , In. th~ _mids~of my'.di~~~e·s/1sudde~ly 'cau~ht :sighi of .• ·: ~'»Look and Lisf~n«·.prides ·itself' on presenting t~. its . :' . >
•..••·,'a:youn~ woman foc~~sing me _with a came~a. Distraught',' . r~a.ders.·everythi~g:.of interest that is going on," sher~-·.·_ ..
. a~ I was, this terrified me _asmuch as if she'd been ai~ing '. . • plied. "There .have·b~e,:i.tumours all overt.own· about a .
·~gun, my first impu~se\~as_ to ·gaUop awa~-aS' fast as 1 • wond~r-horse, ~-~-~·r~·6f~luge_Hans,
~blet~t~lkan~d~~ce.:·: .,
could. Butthen s~e smiled at ~e so kind)}' tha:t
l'f~lt r~- ' l\ iti_ama'rvellousv:a:J.But though we've had scouts. out for :
-62 ;. ", •• • • <· :·:-'·,'; ;:_.·:,':.\ 63
/ . ·,· • ' . ~1\,•• • • ·': \ .·.
'
-·•··'-'•--·~ ,.
 -~~~ _· - :·· .- .••.-,/ ,' .. ,;:•';.,' . ·.•·;..,·, ••• -·---, -~--, ••

. .. ' ., --~ .. -: . ' ·.,. .· -~-;,...,,V'~:""';,..~-::c_,7-.~-- .•: ··:· ' :· •

. . .' . . .. , .~ >-"-~:ff"'''•:.-.-: .... '. .. ;· .. •.:' ·..-: ,.'.... ; ._;':._. ' . •'
weeks nothing d fl . ·· ·· · . "" ··.-,.•· :· •·.• • • - • · . •••. "· •• • • : • •• ·' ••• • • •• •• •• • • • ••
I e rute could he i . . . . i ; • • ' • •. .' ,. • . • • { a fortune -1 must • • r ••
atly saw the horse. N ts~ov-ered,no • .· .. _·
... ·•••.. • •• ·:_.·
.: . :We• sh~ll --tll~ e_ •• • : •••• •••• , •• .-· •• •
. . . . o one succeeded . one actu- . . . . ous ._cou~tt1:· • . •. . ' , • •Of .you; of your delicate ••_-.• • , .: •••
\llew or a picture. Then
. . .' the moment I
m getting a .
n inter- ~
. ·: .•t ,. •..·•.tot :t11orepii;tures
. take .·. . : . . •
• : •• • • • : ••••, •
agnificent ned<, o_fyour tail • ••
Just now my int 'f set eye . • ,· -...•.•• h. ofs· of .your tn • • • • :•
' U1 10n told me that h s on You I ', ·danCltlg ' 0. .' . • ·h. ' • f.ound you the' genius who m- •
horse l ere wa . h / ·. d I atn to ave • ' • • , •• • -= • • -'· •
we were ooking for." . . s t e ve J-lo\'[ gla •. • .. "' . •..•• •. • •··•• _'· • •.. •• •••
"I - ~ . , . .0 fistll' ''·
1 , • • • •. • •
not only talk and d b . · · ted 'I-1° ... . •• • .-'.. •. •• • • h 1·· d'd , • ··.-·-~· •
. ance,- ut paint pict . ven .... : 1 ck;~face was.radiant; and; altho~g. t n t •• :· '.: ••••
Mrs. Loveluck's fr k fr' dl ures as Well'' . ,tv1rs. Love u • .. •• . . •-:• . - ••• -. • ••• • , ... ~ '-:. :, •
. an ten y manner inspired . .. . . h • "dea of all the publicitY, she suggested, it:,.·; •• :' •.-,
1
and I·.had no .h es1·t anon
· m• telling her the full confidenc
t e, . ·., quite·.tike
'd
t ethat sh~ was full
• • • • •• • • • • :• •
.of genuine good-~ill,1,When : ••• •• • -__,_
,•
experiences at th e art schoo : how I had invent sdory
H of tny . -was. evt
; chent , • she put
d h r ·house •• her hand ~ffect1onately
• on -••-•••• , ; •
1
but h d ti h · e oofistn . we rea e • e _' • • • • •
a a t e time been kept out of sight by th ' .- d led me to. a stJ)allg_ardenw~ere_.I.coul~. re~
, . • ,· :..1·_. •
ch h . . . . e tea- ,ny ne"' an .. . • • • •• • • , , ••• ,
er:~: o, wtshmg to claim for himself both profits and : .·fresh. ntysdf with ~weet su~mer_ !l:ass•. Her :h~sband_: ,-; •• ··: •
' refused to acknowledge me as the creator of tlie 'brought me a p,ail of drinking·~ater, and listened_eagerly ·, •• .• ' •
ne~ movement, finally shutting me up In the place frotn. •.•:: While·i ~elated my adv-entu~eSau.ov'er again.:•A•seryarit ,, •• • ••• ·>
which I had this morning made my escape. "I wanted to ·:<Wa~sent tO buy o~ts.'.And presently, whell I_had eatel). •••• '. • ·,
giv-eone of my pictures to Mr. Patronage," I concluded,.• . .• ;ind·rested and recov-ef~d fro~ .the stress, of the -_ciarly
·., : •• :
"But I was nev-erallowed a chance of meeting hlm, or an .•.': ;moinlng, t'ny hostess. br<>ugh~'be~little ho.v,to see met ••• ···.: : • '
intelligent people." · • y ·
.:. •a,. fine health}'
I
child,
.
Who
.
tho"Ught
.
it the gieatest
- •• "··
fun•• to·.·
• I, • •, : • ,

•. climb 011." my back "and tail.gle his dmbby hands iil rn'r . • 'i •• • I
"Never mind. W e'Il alter all that!" exclaimed ~y new:
>mane.In thiS ho;;,e1y at~osphere I felt hajipy and safe. ·, _:·••• •
.friend. "Come with me, and I'll·see that you are introdu-
• : '. Ner'vousnessalld :inxieeyfaded intO the background. Here "
ced to intellectual society where y~u belong and. that
· •i ~as an honour~d. gueSt, free to ~otne .ind go as_! plea- • ,
you get your rightful recognition. If you approve, we'll
·1 could live in a ~atural~:,
sed.-.}:-Ier:e s'traigh,tforwarlway~••
feature you in the next number of »Look and Listen«.·
. : : withOJittensioriOr suspici~_n,
Here l~o~id do my ow.:.work, • • '. ; '
One of our best feature writers will build up 3:n article · ·· pr~VideMrs. Lov-efock~ith die material she re<F'1redfor •; • • •'. ·:
on you, and.we'll_have photographs of your clay pictures.
. he~ magazi.:.earti~le, iind accUmulate spiritual Strength • •
It's high time you were introduced to the public. What
~ :-•.-._f~~ whatever' thefut~re..might hold. in stor~. ' • •• • '
a story it will make! What a scoop for >>Lookand Listen«!· •.: . .. Five days after my arri\latl'cf finiShedanoth~r day 'pie- ' • • •
A talented horse, persecut·e~ by sinister foreigners,.entrusts
· : tiire, perhap~ the best example, of ~11m.Ywork. It "'as a •
its fate to the enlight_ened public of ~ great and gene·
•, • . 5 Bluth~-j'he Hor.se'sTale : ', • - • , 65
64
.• .•. ,\
'· .:• ·._.: : .---,'. .••
· · development 0
/ th . . . "~:
e. composition l\1 a - • -• ·: • . c1rfu1piece ol work had been sent
Mr. Patronaoe 0
em earth .
outstretched b
1ready·ev0 1
. ved f - - , hat this won e .
possiblet al tribute? Sud1 a thing was. uw
eyes. But, now that I h d • eneath two or • . ·ust as a person ••
a myself escaped sun•like to h1tt1 J k d the price only to be told that
out o f chaos' now. t h at I was• installed .. to tr anquilit:y• d ted He as e '
prece en • dy wealthy refused to accept any pay-
a united human family instead f . _in the hoso111f 1
.twas area ,
f . o existing in o the artts d . ctual fact sent the picture to demou-
o a neurotic collective marriag·e . t~e vortex nt and ha ' in a • ' d'
. ' my picture was • me ' . tion of the spiritual understan mg
serene. Earth no longer slept as a ch'Id no longer- strate his apprecta ch h . . h. d •
. · i of the u • . t assistance whi t e rec1p1ent a given
its mother's breast but lay un niverseat and the concre e . .• . .
. ' easy, a prey to horrifi
to art, .. . • d. M
s_hattenng dreams, in the shade of a . c atom. - · n odd state •of affairs. Qgite excite , r.
"O pproaching doom Here was a
. stranger . sun, and stranger you , o moon •- ook the astonishing present to the house of
Patronage t
resting like Jesus in the stable cribI ' . fri d Goldpen who as he knew, was holding a re-
. his en , . •
the time is coming, and the darkness soon · at which all the most eminent personages of the
cept1on • •
when earth shall perish and the sun go do~n." •. art world would be assembled. The picture was treated
The shadow of imminent disaster
. darkened mY picture
•• • almost with reverence; hung in different places~in different
and the lines which a young poet friend of. the Lovelucks' lights and in various frames, so that the experts could
wrote _to accompany it. Yet,· as far as I w~s ~oncerned . view it from every angle and in every aspect. They sur·
• I
veyed it from far off, across the whole width of the enor;
everything at las~ seemed to be going well. An excellent •
mous roo~;. they came close and studied its texture and
account of Hoofism was produced. for
.
"Look and Listen"
. I .
technique,.peered into its depths. In the end they stood~
analysing _my gift of expression, revealing the secret ·of
before it in silence'. That _it was a work of genius coul~
my authenticity and success, exposing, the way I had been
not be· doubted. Before painting of this standard, their
neglected. A paragraph was added about my-quarrel with
usual fluency deserted them. Even Goldpen, with all his
the art master, explaini~g why ·I'd refu~ed to adopt the
· talent, feit unequal to the task of describing the picture.
tiger's ·claw or to accept "collective aggressive~ess".
With his own hands Mr. P~tronage wrapped it in rugs and,
Finally my picture, a~er being properly baked in a kiln,
carrying it carefully in his arms as if it h~d been a sick
was dispatched to Mr. Patronage who, somewhat sceptical _
child, brought it back by car to hi~ house, where it was
.when he heard about it beforehand, ~as, as I •he~rd after· . safely hung in his bedroom. Every morning,when he woke
wards, completely taken aback by its grandeur and beauty,
up, the picttll"ewas the first thing ~pon which his eyes
He did not know what_to make of the situation. Was it • 67

66
 • • ,t: ... •1..,, ~ , 1 • :-r.._,~:•-~·;_··
..,...'". .......
,

: ' .. . . . : :'<>~:,,· ,. ~~~~~-, ',

stage. My appearance lefl: noth· .. '.. . :_. • , •~ '. . . . . •• • , • • •. h" t sleeves at the stove._.
. tng to h d : . •. ·, k" in hiss tr
clattered on the tiled fl . e es1red.M h •. was wor ing h to make his acute
ch • . oor, and the n Mrs- C y 0ofs . senst•tiveogre, 1 ce at us was enoug . •
arnung f OUhg girl with very lar ·b . • oldpen that one g an d stimulating situation.
ge right d k 'a I saw of a queer an
to we 1come usl greeting m ar eyes,c sibifides aware 1 ck to the other guests pre~ent,
fri d • h • y escort cordiaU allle• sen d Mrs Love u
en • I t ought she looked at . y as an old t.J ·ntroduce • d looks and went on
.. . me In surprise r-.i,e t fully on my goo ,
she said admiringly "Oh wh t b ' and though ented grace . . to drink an aperitif in the
' I ' • ' a a eauty"' ·t . c00101 k" inviting us
as if she thought Mrs. Loveluck h d . • . I Was tnore with his coo ing, d led to a second room where
a arnved on h . Wide open oors . . •.
than that I was the guest of honou "Oh orseback meantime. . h 1· hted candles, gleaming with
r. weII,, I h • as set out wit ~g . ,
. indulgently, as she led us out into th ' t ought a table w b f the moment everyone stayed m
e garden and ro . • d glass, ut or . . .
to the side of the house. "she's ob . l . und silver.an •1 t Goldpen watching his skilful
. . ' v1ousy v~ry youn • kitchen. I kept. c ose o ,•
doubt inexperienced, and preoccupied too . h h • g, n~ the . . the food. While his guests stood
. . . , , wit er dutie • fingers and discussing • • .
• as hos~ess on such an oc~asion." . s_ d ·oying caviar oysters, and f01e gras, he prepared -
. . aroun enJ ' . d
Meanwhile our hostess ·was explaining that th. f . • ck . li e oil with mushrooms and truffles choppe
, e avoured a du in o v ,
guests who had been invited to dinner bef h• S ck d a few peas ~ere added and the whole dish :
. . . ore t e party . fine. to an . .
· were to dine m the .kitchen where Mr.• Gold pen was • . 1
• gent y s1mm . ered ..on a low flame. When all was .ready,
.
now preparing the meal with his own hands. "My hus- • _·. everybody sat down at the table in candleligh~, eati~g .
band would never allow an inept person to cook •an .and drinking red wine, hardly sp~aking at all. I stayed m -•
important dinner," she told ·us. "He appre~iates the the background, watching ~ith amusement ~hese people's
. sacred nature of good food. For us. cooking is great fun enjoyment, the way they concentrated on the food with •
as well as a ritual act. Cooking, painting and writing be- appreciation but no greed. At the end of the meal, a gr:at
long to the same cultural level. A person who can't cook· dish of fruit and a wooden board covered with •cheeses
•can't wr1·te." 1 d on t h e t abl e. _
• sorts were pace
of various
, We entered the kitchen from the garden. The big room I asked wh~re Mr. Patronage was all this 'time. "Up-
was filled with a delicious smell, the wooden tables ~ere . •stairs," our host~ss replied, smiling·."He doesn't aitogether
1

scrubbed white as bone~bunches of herbs and garlic, s~rings agree with our attitude towards foo~ and p:efers eating
of onions, and a pink and black smoked ham, hung from·. , ~n private. In any c·ase,he has to be in the drawingroom
the rafters c\;bove.Mr. Goldpen, a big man with a face at, . .now to receive the main party of gue~ts."•
once fierce and preterna~urally.intelligent, like a hyper- • The sounds of _thegathering up above were starting to
70 71
\'
I
 ·•• · :: • · ::ftti:k:::::;iL/

.
. .. . the visit
. ·.
·
0.
1
_:J:2:~:·
glass. ·o .._. .
,r:~_,~:.i:)},?:·~,~~(:·:\·::
. Ur k1t~hen •d·
;}:?)•·
. ·J,~Ughtet. ,'. .·:··_ .. '. •. It
and "o\ , ... •..
' •• .. , .,., :i .. 0
, ..-, -:· . .
~":-~?;:\:~'./'•·••!··:··_·,-.· ___·~-:_

; ; • . • • , .. , • '•' ., • • •• , • • •• • 1 •• \~, :,'f J ~;

.. t dand with a s1~kmgheart. The e1f1,tlon•• ,·.:; \ <"\-·,,\:-~./
·- ?rs rose fr · - ·' Inne · • tc:~s . ·' . ·. . · clisappoin e r • • • ·: • • , • • .'· .:-~-.._- "::,,--·,
·'. , other M om t~e.tahle a d':, r Party..\V . an~, , 'again,._. . • ci- my way to· the house had the :effect I , >...... ,::,··.~---;
afi: ~ h. rs.· Goldp enr saying
'I. - '

;,. -.·: ·. I?, Vani h .as ov - . , 'd xper1ence on . - ·' • • , • ••••• • \ • ->.·;~. ·<•-
she s ed one aft· ,_er, · - . J.. •e . •
11 the more downcast no~. What a miser- • • ; • • --.::...:-/ ·:~··- ~
. . er t e heat of th . ' tnust get er a11~ f making me a , • _, •• • , • •••-~-- •
,. '' .' h b. . .. . e stove, Went . . a breath f O . 1· • I w·as it 'in order t~ be deserted m a park' • • •• • , •__ :-(~•- .L_-··
... us and put h' : _o_ut~ntoh . o air ble a11t1c1max. • ".. • • . ,. ::. ••• ::· - -.,·.
·· · '· . . . . ~n IS. coat and e . ~ . e garden.it._y• . a . h I'd had my mane curled and my hoofs white-. • :. • , ••::_·,,' - ....
.· sta1ts. AHat o , . scorted-Mrs l ·.t1er·- . gardent at • , . • • ·:.. ··, , • \ _.:, "':--:., •
.. . , - nc~ I found tny If . · oveluck- . d martly? Grief,and hunger combined ~o give • '1. • • •.- • , • • _ ' •• _
iven m se 1efl: al · Up- washe so s • •• ,• , __ • • -, ,.
g e any fo o d, If elt hun , · ·N
. ··one -. o ·one h ·· · . k"ng feeling. But t he grass was cut s'hort, there ' ••_.- '. .• '• • :,' ....
..,
• -,., ·~·•••
di · . gry and . · ad me a sin i • • : ,- , ,.,.• • • :
I · ance Mrs. Goldpen had ' wondered if bya :- ... 't blade worth e'1ting.I walked up a11-d down rest· :.·' -. : • \ ; •• ,:.• c\
I . :- . I . d . , . gon~ to fetch .··, . ny•.. wasn a . . ' . ,. • . _•. ':·,. I , ... :·;.·
Watte a few minutes the h . llle some oat · . . • . . ·stood •stilt,neighed once, not very loudly., I fanci~d •• ·_'.. \ ~;/:..:·. •• ,.:;.,
dh. . ' n, as s e didn't . . s. . 1ess1y, . • - • • • • ••-i ,· .......h-. • •
e er out of ~oors. But f:here· was no ./:turl), f~llow- •• th~t m~ment's silence interrupted tb,_~ ~
talk :'hicJ:i6,oated . : : ,: : "' .'~: •
garden. was all m dark
.;
· ·· · . .
.. ness, and I. could d
g : 0 fher, the
. ,.
. like the hum of bees. out of each bnght_wmdow,,Then, , :. • •• . •,. - ;, ti '
. ..... ·. . . . . . , • ,- • • • . • ,-.·•. , ••• ; I ...... ,-
_return to the empty kitchen. . . . . . :. · 0 nothing but ' : .• .' 59me0ne cOughed,and _the droning v,ent 9n as before•••••••.• >: \:- : /, - •:•
. While I hal been ·. · ·. ·· . . , .••.chiiled thro;,gh and through, I went slowly baddo the • \. • .,j! • , ,•
. . outside, someone h d . . . ·:. . , , ••- • •, ;;~' - ·,
the candles in the further room A . • a e){tinguished.:· . kitchen,The atmosphere.of the ho_usev,asbecommg per- .'·. • :· ·')• : •:\.::

,I, • ~
light bulb was dimly burnin ; ' Smgle_n~ed electric ·, . . , meated with _cigarette.smoke.;_it even l'enetr~ted down. ·.· .. • • : :.'.'-· •-• :, ,l
th · . · g One or two flies crawled · · .. :"·here, ":lixedwith the scent pf a fine H'.'vana.ctgar, •,: ••. ••". ,.
0
n e remams of the food I h' d' . .. .. . . .. . . • •. - • .. •• • • ••• • ••• ~-- ,,. • -~-=':;
· - .. · . . ·.-_.s ive~e and felt lonely. • ·.· .__:Sounds of gaiety reached me from: abo~e as_if from<· . .'{\--,:::>·~~-;,
ou I possibly have be f ·· · · .· · • ••. · · • ,• • •••. • . • • • •
·.C ld,
.t •
: . en. orgotte?? WhY had they all. another world:_The murmur of conv~r~attonrose ~ndfell • • f '" , ·,
gone• ·off . me · alon e ,·. I'd
. and left ·· · • • ~ •
· b eeq specially-mvited,·.the
· •. •• • like• sea wave$,
- • pierced
• ' occasionally
• • •by • a w9man's
• laugh'·
1
-.;
tt "'·:-•

, . p~rty _h~d been arranged · for ~e, ·in hOnOr of ,;;y ~lay' bY thetinY sharp d~sh o( a glass, by footsteps, by the • :'\, •, '.:' ••
. '.'.' ; • . pictures._ 1:didn't ·know whether: thepktufe whid! I J,ad •• giirgle of Waterin the favatory cistern. All these noises, ·:• , • • •·), . :'.~.. ;:
. • sent Mr.-Patronage \)'as _being exhibited in the hou;e; but, l)lingleJ with.the pe~asive sCents of ~~oke, of perfume ' •• • •• '., c .,·· ••
th
• · • , anyhow, he had written fie a ·charming letter Ofinvit~tiori, and alcohol,intensified my feeliiigof isol~tio~,·BvCry ini • • • ,,C::• ;~
nd
' ;: •· signed with his nanie and decorated with, a'hoOf, Wh/ . •.• in the kitchen wa,sqciei, Only afl}'.buzied, cir~led"?u • ' • : / , \ ,c': :
11
9;
didn't he Come down fo~ i;_.e, ;it Ie~st: send, so~eone • , / , Once 0 ~ twic~, and th~n seHJed again: _Dampdrifted > •, • fo ~- ,
. : to find out wh~r~ I ..;;as?°J, for my part, w~s loflgin~ tO .. • •• froni th~ g~rden through the wide OpCndo()•· • ' •• , . • ::• ;.-. lf •
. meet him. '·· . . : . : .· • · ' : :'-,: ... • ' • ., • . It waS now impossiblet~ dOubt_that I had_been al,an- •• . : .. \l , ;:.
' N ?b~dy came llear, arid I :w~llde~ed!)Utinto the g~den ., ' doti:ed;eithedorgotten ofintelltiOna!):C ~
ig~ored. terrible : ,' ••••• • • Jf
72. • ••••••
.•...
• .. : > :.
, •. · .,·-:,,·. ·, ..•' .., .. ,
. • ,_ ,,,,,,:
.·... /., ·
·.:::y.
·, ·,·.,.·.
>
.,,\.''. -• • .t:_ -,.'
')l
.: ~•.:< 1
·~
.. . ·:·.. . .. ·\•·.
_,. .,.;-'*
ht
 .' • ' ·: • ( ~ :~ • ' ~~;.~;e,,,,:,~,~~,."-,:~~0=_.----c, ••·
J • • •• ~ ,. r

thought suddenly entered . , -_·., ., - .,~ i, f¢ ""'. , • I realized that I had •been
h dh d tnytnind: suppo • . • . . cia1 pang h d .
a a sotne tnore gen
. .
I• se the art •• -
era. reason than h. • • 111aster uest,
\X,'ith a spe
ht of Mrs. o
L veluck out of my ea 1it
conceit and cupidity fork . ts own.per , g ht'ngthe thoug h'o had always treated me
eeping tne hidd sona1 h w
said at the start that the criti·c I en? l-Iadhe n - pus painful that s e, d •now
s wou d be pre· d" ot ,wastoo ould have betraye m~ • • ~ .
~o~Gsm if they knew it was the invention of'.:;/ced 3llainst withkindness, sh ·J l re-entered the kitchen. I hated
if there were some discriminat· • . orse? What . . Slowly and heav1y . r might hate his cell. The
, . ton against horses . . . 1 e as a prisone . .
country, something equivalent to a I b in this the et11ptyp ac . 1· •f the· dinner ·p·arty se~med to be-
co or- ar wh"ch . d cord1aity o
result in the ostracism of e • . , I Would bustle an d I couldn't i·magine the r_oom as
• quine genms? "No they. tong-dea era • •
b e so narrow!" I told myself .. A man like M ' p can't tong to a ld. d deserted. A distant church clock
r atro h' but co an
wou ld never be blinded by mere p . d". • nage. anyt mg d I utomaticalty counted the strokes.
. . . . reJu ice. What th. ·med the .hour an a
was the explanation? I'd given him th , en,. chi h I'd been alone in wretched embarrass·
. e most valuablething Three whole ours .- .
I possessed, my very best painting and h h d . dd sion And this was to have been my big
. . , , e a accepted ment an epres • . .,
it. What possible reason could there be for t •. . , . . ~ ht of fulfilment! I thought of leaving the
. reating me . night; my nig • . .
like an outcast? That he had invited me simply t . 1 f i·ng the cat on the gate post and sltppmg
o tnsu t house, o pass
and humiliate me was unthinkable. • B t no1 I couldn't do that; retreat was cowardly,
· away. u •. . , .
Anxiety overwheimed me. Unable to keep still,.I w~nt. . a confession of weakness. An artist. should not let himself .
out again to the garden, stumbling. round the dark paths. :- be intimidited by the conduct of ill-bre~ peo~le in lighted
A sharp ~urn brought me unexpectedly to the gate:· on ,- rooms. As an artist I had certain standards and respon-
.one of the gate posts sat a cat. Without moving, it st~red- sibilities to maintain. It devolved upon me to protect th e
at me malevolently out of bright green eyes which reflec~-. •.•. dignity of my art. _Under no circumSt ances mus_~art be
ed the brilliant _lightstreaming out of the windows behind. allowed to suffer humiliation. : -- -
nd
I turned quickly towards the house. From one of those , Once having worked myself into thi~ frame of mi '
golde~ windows a lady looked out. A sma11. scarlet feather my course of action was clear: I went up St airs boldly. On -
. was in her hair. She seemed. to be looking straight at me; •.: the landing a lady in pink, coming out of th e lavatory,
for a moment I thought she was going to call to me. But • • h d. ·f I ere a ghost rushed
stared at me open-mout e <1s1 •.• w . '
I ·must have been invisible in the dark. She turned away • back through the door she had just opened, and locked
from the window with siniling lips. Why didn't Mrs. Love· • • herself in again. I didn't all~w her foolish behaviour to
luck come to find me? I wondered, since I was her house· disconcert me, but went ·steadily on to the great double •
75
74
 ·: ~ •. : ·. ,diors
o;~;{ ·• ::: ~; ,·'.·,'.··;··~~-7-_~?~ 2 ~/•.·~ ' .• i-,/~~{;:~;--;:-:0;. '.••· ·• · ·
i . . . :· . .f .. , e ro<?.mwhere th·. . . , . ,-; .. :·....
, .. ', .:.·:'~, -~-f~·/:;:-:,·.• ,-··.·•• , • ., ;-,.', .. • ••, .• ,,._. . ·_· - •• .. ••••••
· : · , .' ,. : act that J'd. , · . e part •· :·i'
· •.' . , • , • . , ·• •_• _,: • •: _• ,-• -• ,, • ; • ,, • •
.... • - "-fid, . . at last asserted in - ·1Y/vas b_eing·h·t, ·, -:,,;l : ,. i .- .··"·, .• .-·t:,:, k ·t 'in turns ,to mo,,unt a_pau.~of conve-.
;· · : · ence and . Yse f br • . e d 'l:-t , • • ,:•. • • ho too 1 .,_ • •• •
· .,., , . ·_... · · · . ' . 1 moved proud!}' . · ought badt • • .•ne _ . . 0 rJfnta1s w • , •n order to whisper into her_ea,r·what
,. . . , physique as 11 . . , conscious 0 ( . -. . Illy co . - •. - - . faced steps I •• • • • • • •
, - ,, .·. ·..._ . we as of my arti . . 111:y niao .'.. n-.•; niently1' • om Jiments, judging by the. fnendlmess _- ,,
, An enormous I . . st1c status , on1fl_c:ent • • st- have been c p
i.
'
.

. 1 . -.· .. . .. tr
,. . .
, ,
·.. : . .
acqu . . ,
er. sc;:reen·s·t d .-. . . , .. •. :.. . . •
•111u
b"ch· •
she receive
d t h em. • • - •, •• • ••-•'.,• - • -•• • -·
1
• · · · ance, and I paused.for
· a ·n · · . • Just inside
00 • th • ••• . . . •wt·th. .w _ . ch d the
• •
nimble activities ohhese • det·1cate•men•
' . _·~ - . the crowded
· • ·.. : · i .

: ; . 1oment behind •. . . e ~n-:• . . .. As I w~t e •• •• • •• •

, ,: . ·'. ,-:-.-:, ~ . ' room without bein , ,1t, •surve. . . • kind and _intelligent faces, I became. aware·
,.-: . , , · were chatt . - .- . g seen. Gr _)'Ing • with· their • • • • •• • • •.,
J,· . . . · _ ermg eyerywhere .h . oups of Pea . • . hanging not far off on the ,,:all. It was well •• •
i1 . - •. I did not h. I . . wit glasses,. 1
. - p e', , , .• cf i:nYpicture ,. • . -· - •• •
: , , .. . . t 10 < they looked .. · . . • .. 10 . their hand· ·, ·,.. d d showed·up to great advantage; several people
' ..., v . a gath .· . T. . . part1cular!y d' . . .s, , frame. an. • ' • •- • • ••
. . . ,eung. here was a c·ert . · . ts~inguished·a •. d e..,r apparently a9-miring it; and the sight of them
· . atn Ul1tf · · S· stOO O a I , • • • • • , •
• . pearanc
- .e, t h ey seemed to ·ha b orm1ty ~? • their
• ap-·:· ... · ed . me and made - m~ - feel , more at• ease. • Just the_n•the· • • :·• ·,.
. . t. h .- . ve een at . . . p1eas • •• • •- ••
.. . '.. . sia:e t emselves by means of pecuiiar. tiea:ns t~ ~'.ffer~n-. amiable,forbidding face _of.Mr. Goldpe~ _appe-~red, ~~com: .•: •: .....
. ·-· _··.,· _P ctacle~, and elabQrate ha·. :. I ' hoin tltntned panied by a number ~f gentlemen looking h~e cnt1cs or. - • ·-• .-: _
. . I h . . Ir sty es. Mo t Of .. . •• .- • • • • •• •
-.. . . t ought, lo_9ked _rather fru ·tr- d .s ~~e ladies,. the custodians_ of galleries, who stationed themselves in ; .' •
. h s ate amb't•
1
. . . ••• ,
' · ·· - t ough one could pick ~ut . :t • . -' · ious and vain, front of the picture. A gilt chair with thin ~pindly legs
, .. m e11igent faces • • • • •
men. and woman I b 1· · · · . . among both · was ~ee in: tlie cetltre, and at once occuj;ied hy .a neat,
. • e teved I could identif h' .-:_-,· ,
tic artists· the s. h . . .Yt e authen- .. · ' frail,.grey~hairedman·who l~oked tired a'nd rather ernbar.:••
. • omew at deb ch d . , • • ·- •
Celtic composer. a·· h" h . au e physiognomy of a -, raSselinotkedthatheh~td;itypewrittenmanus~iptinhis •. .,_
, . ' w ite aired pub!' h . . •• • • • • • • ..•
'.I · diplomat a br'W h. IS__er,_a priest-like,• . ::_>.h;md, the 'pagesof whichhe kept nervously rustling,'whiie'.
. . .. . ' 1 iant s arp-nosed for . ~ . •. .. • • • . • •• / - •. •
. \ ·,. man writ. .h . . . etgn Jburnaltst' a wo-·,.. ·. ·_ from •ctime .to· tim_e:-he'glan..ced at the· picture. ·silence·•• ·_.,.: •
1
; ,,!· .-" . •'. . · r.caught
. er wit
·sight. f -h·strange
I dilated .eyes. I also .' . •- • le •.c9_ughed,··s_.h ~s.-up.on .•••• •
1
th ought I· · ·.·:··._
f_el_i.
·-Peop_ __uffled,-and_fixed th_--~ir)_.ey • • :-.-~--~

1· r , ..· ,· · ·
i : . .. b
· 0 t e anguish·
. ~ . .
• •· •
. ~ng poetess, of the art schooi'
• • _.. ·h~~-Evidently·he was g~ing to give·s~me.s?rt of C?mmen-.'-- ~ C:;·
,,·. . ..·.· _· ut, not.. wishing to b e remind • d O f h •. • • • • ' • : tar_yon my .wqrk for the ·benefit of the-_'assembledguests. - •
· '.:.. •.~-::. turned-~y d h e h. t os~ days, I hastily ,: . . . . -: . .
'\ •. '• - . ' • ' . • . ' •. ' . - ; '

. . th .' h . , ea t~t' e _opposite end of the room wher/ ' : 1( •• -.· :_ • Ag;;t~n l felt ~1yhe~r'ts~nk.-\Vh~tcouldthis ~lderlyman,
l' -• :~- · ...· ·~-mtg - . · · ty ......··of <:l..female
-· .bulk • .·-- a sort •• .of At . ' •'·. b ·,·,• .•.•. •.-. ' ' ; '·:with his' prim,, anxious; pale face_andu~~~sy ma~n.erpos-, _,. ' .
, 1 : . weanng·a h · . . · .· . 1_r emis,. _u,t ,_.· I
•. : • , . • .' . • • • • . ,. •• • • . , • • • .;.', ',.

, J. . '. tfge car.tw~eel hat _;_stood Hf h • •• . . , • •• -~·.• -sibly understand al;,out Hoofisn1? :My inferiority feelings ,•
ment al ·· . · · · ·· · (_e _erown monu- _. !

. .· - . , most. motionless, as if on a Greek • • : ·.,•. , b-~~~nt~\e~urn·~ ~hy had'i-n.bt-b~e~a;kea'.to ~peak•• about

heroic size wo Id h- .- , p~destal. J:Ier .
. . : u ave -been enou h . • ••.. ·.·the pi~ture myself; if_s~~-e·~omment wer~-:-need~d?As__ if •
was "Codd ' . ·,, a . . . g to prove that she • •
, , e_ss' ev~n without th st • • . • • ..to:.co~fi~m:my.~ors€ fe.a_rs,-then~ap'on th~ cqai~~ttered.·
...::
7 . - · ··, .· · \ •. . . e. r·e~m-o~ cultured· • .·,.•
' .....
. .· ,,_.•;,
.. ·" . .-':.,. ,·, . , .. • , , ·- • '- , . • • • • _: 77 •

6 . ,';;;·
..... .~· .. ;- ·..·
',
. '\' •• \.
-1: • ..•
·-
I' Io .•,

.· '•• i '.· ·, ,_,.

,,• .•i: •. I' .;, ":: l •.,' I
 ··i•·.••·.· ."•.--~ •' I· •• ' =.;;,.<;""°C'~••"'~•• ••

>r ·
·, •••• ,,._,.~_·:,'· 1_ •. :: • '.,·•\.--· :_-,·~1.._"".~1

a few sentences in a' Weak < . ••'. ~?,.;,,,~-~ •••

• d. , stan11nermgVoi . . . - ,· _ . . .-• -·~ monster •who c1ares·to deny that
p 1atitu inous, lifeless It w • . ce, uninsp· . • 1 . . h 1s I l ue
• .. as more than I ired, • ,,fhere e • h e is a such!" The nonsense-pro-
could not stay here to·· h. • could endu . ch such that t er .
• ear my Work 111·• re'.I • hereis a su , "th his pointing finger as though m- -
those devitalized and convent· ] ismterpreted in t unced me wt . . .
Iona tones Th· .• fessordeno . h police at the same time gestunng
place for me. I had better go b ck • ts Wasno . crinunal to t e , . .
a ·to the kitch _ , dicatinga d wards my picture where it hung on
more at home with the le11.·overf d en. I d be h' other han to
u oo d h with 15 - . d . ,,, . · .·
I h an t e flie h 11"This is his omg. ,
was up ere in. this splendid room among . s t an the wa • . . 1 w voice unable to keep the tears
whom I was slighted and misunderstood. . people by "Yes," I said m";e: I am t~e Hoofist. I don't expect
It d • • ut of my eyes. ' ; .
urne to go bad<:to the staircase. but • •c o . ch less understanding, from people like you. - .
. d f • I ' tn tny haste tolerance, mu . . 1· .
• an con us1on moved clumsily touch. h . d d- i·nte11ectualism,you despise ivmg art.
• • '· tng t e screen which Shut tn your ea , .
swayed to and fro dangerously then crashed I'k 1 h . • . 1 xpression is 1·ustescapism or mental regression
' e t under •. Emot1onae .
• on to the parquet floor, leaving me in full view f. • . k " . . .
• . o every- to you, I now. _ • . · ·
one in the room. Consternation fell on th~ party. One or . Now there was an uproar in the room. My secret was
• tw~ wo~e_n screamed. People fell back and pressed them- ··out. Until now nothing had been known about my com- •
selves to the walls as if the four-footed creature before plex fields of existence, that I was both a genius and a
them were a wild beast instead of a .horse. The reader. •heme. Now nobody understood how a famous intellectual \
sat as if petrified on his gilt chafr. One would have thought, like Coldpen could ,have associated himself with such a
Don Giovanni's stony guest had app~ared; death himself, ·dubiousbusiness as me and my art form, which looked
I•,'
come to claim his· victims. • like turning out a mere variation of primitivism.Fearing
"For God's sake!" I cried. "What are you all afraid of? . that her husband's reputation was bound to suffer,p~or
I don't mean_to do you any harm. I'm not going to spoil the •Mrs. Goldpen burst into te~rs. But Goldpen himselfquick-
• party!" ly comfort~d her by giving a hearty laugh, at th e same
But the sound of their own language co.mingout of a time patting me on the shoulder and callingout for cham-
horse' s mouth perturbed the assembly still further. Anger • pagne.-"Pos'itism is rather ~-dry ·subject, professor," he
· began to mix with their alarm. A horse had no .right to said. "The next room i~ at your disposal if you want·to
use the same words as_they did; it ~as an insult to their .
discuss philosophy. In here. we,re h. aving a party and not
. mother tongue, especiallyas I didn't speak with the correct ~ecture. Art is always goo~ fun; let's drink to Hoofism's_
'I
accent. good health!" ~ •
: ,

! 78 79
i
 ••• - aga::U~dtmhoSphe~e ·-~~n:::rh.7?~ ;:~:~:" ~J,:-~~~~;~-:;t>"i·{~:.:
.:.,.
.. : . e t e room. Th
. · · as . Che:~L':")/<{\<i~J . , • ·. - •'i • • •• •~:.-. •
, heard. ~eople laugh -~l~professorial acce~tw erf:1·:voj~~s :
I,' ~- through the-crystal of a mountain stream. -
0
' : • ·,.

' , · . _. ·h d -.. , e , t~laxed' ~s.lloI _ • •_ofpebblesfiseen_ s to~~ed: nie with •prehen'sil~sensitive-

.. ,-. - .. . an ~;_as they lifted,~ - h ." '. some e'ven cl~ onge~ Wh n his nger
, .- The· fi - . . . . . P_t e1r_glasses a . . . PPed thei . e -•• li ••htriess; 1 startlE:d,an4 for an instant I seemed_
,·:~r , . ~,.sens1ble·voice of th' - •. nd drank the . r ,11ess and g • •• •. . 1 • - . • .•
;-. . . end of the roo . .h- .-1 . e statuesque lady ,toas1-.
' • •• ••to
. •forge
. • t everything
. ., e se_.
• •• • . . ..
··~ ! , . - • . m ai ed me i~ rin . . . . . at the oth• . • t thing I heard was Mrs. Loveluck as~mg~in • •.•
•:· !l · ._.,.~• • :
te
.<
pi~ture,., 0,_utspokenly criticizing. ·thegthneg
~

f
1
t~ne_~~
avm
pr~isi11g· rn::-.
.1
: :Jbe n_exdedto me a bantering tone:· "Where.have you
. what soun ,. . • -.• . .. , .. .
• · • - e~ ~ . ~ud1 ~n·d sum"; who now f d ess ~hedevo-
Ieav· • • ·, . · , · . a ed inf0
0
· . ·'
••.
•• been a
! 11 this time?-_I ,went downstairs to look for you se-_
. • • . • .
• mg poets, painters· and w .t. . obscurity. _ •ve·r'altimes, but could never: fi_•n_ d you._l was _b_egi_n,
ning to_
', l
h • . .• ri ers to drinI ' ..
. . . ,t e subjects with-whim th . ·, <:.and discuss .-\hi~k you ~ust.have gon_e. ~ome." • _ _ .-....: • •••
: ·. N . , • ey were most concer • .- .
0 ~ the moment for wh'cl I h • · . _ . ned... · ·:·"How could_! poss1b1yhave ~one home whe!.1I don't •
~ a~ Watte? so, lo~g\~as
1
really at h~nd. Mi p t . kriow.the way? I don't believe ~nybody·to~ked for ~e!:~
. . . .- . . . . • . a ronage· came on th , . . . . . : ..
. some reason (perhaps he-bad - • ..... - ~. s~ef\e~.~or :··. •1 felt like, saying. ·But_I restra~ned myself; and explained
• · · . ·~ · ·· · gone to fetch 'more ch.· · ' · • · h • •d h • ti •
: . pagne).he had not beert in the r • h , am~ : that i'd been out mto ·t e gar ~~ two or t_ r~e mes;·
:! d . • · , _ oom "!".en I made m • . •tha·t m~st be how she had. missed me~•.'. ...•. -. .
. , . ramat1c entry from behind the , • N . ., . Y .•
_<;r,_:
};;·- • ; • •· - .- . . . s~_re.~n. ow he, came up • ' ·_.·Mr.·Patronage brought m.e a bowl of cha~pagne. The .'_·
to me liav1ng heard w·h t h d.: k . • . .. .
/ ,_ •• ·., : •• • ' • a, a ta_ en place, slig~tly
I ••• ', • ·':Vor-· :_.·-:t~ste'was d~licious, and ;ery -s~on after' drinking k I.be- : .••
i '· ~1ed,, fe..
a~~':g that I m. ight_ f_eel hu.rt or_ offended.' Wh1·.·1e I . · ••··:·gan to feel
• • happy
• •- and confident.
• • It• no.•1onger•• seeme
:. d. -~_ -· ...••
assu~ed hi~ .th at th is wa~~ot· the case, ,I,'st~diecU~i's~~~: -: :-~-:.
that any marked diffe~~nce·divi~ed m~.~om the rest of .•- < .-.
• . ~earance,. compaii~g it_with,_th~picture'i~d f~~~d in ffi}r ..t~~ company.-'l felt and spoke· ~xactly like everyo~e else_·
1

. ...mi nd :. He fooked ~0 m ewh_atyom1g~r :th~~ (had expect~d,•;:__.-· as -M~.Patronag~ guide.d·me round' the room; displaying _
• :'5•. yo_unger th ~~. ~is _f~i~ndGoldpen, th~-~gh: this_.m~y have:·· • • the vari~us ·pictures and: discus;ing. the~ ~Tithme. I was.· • • •
been· main1y onaccou~t?f ;.·_:. his unus~ally. tall .si~nder flg~~e,:··
·...
amazed by his.ted1rtical knowledge, ~s-well ·a~by his in-
_:~hich, however, ·was not.in the least asth~ni~ in•th~ ,sense-'.~.·_ •• tuitive appr~dation of ~very work., ~'Surely.you ~u st be ',
I

,.~ _.. .'.of ~e~ng. weakly, b~t g~ve .an. extrem~I; .~i_tal'i~pre;s_ion/··.·•... . a painter yourself?" I said to him·."Only th e trained pet:~
b,ut never breaking i~ .•arty •· • . .-· • · •ception. pf a ~reative artist could ~perate with such accu:.•••
I
like a str(?ng' sapling; bendin·g__ l
r.
r.
gale. I w~s' ~truck by hi~ _-si~guI~riywide -fo~eh~aa;~cr~ss \· ·:: :t r~cy.;'. But-~~ ~~ly: smi1ed:~ithout answ~ring, gave ~e.
which hung· a 'soft, poi~teq lock of hair lik~ cismall snak~ . : :- •. some mor~- ch~mpagn_e,.
and. 'the11slipped away,,·_lea~ng.
aiid by his •~!most tra~sparetit grey eyes, iemi~ding m~ ••• me to ,confr?nt a picture of the. creation, Adam and Eve
80 .'..• '. ' .. :·I • 6 Bluth,-The Ho~se'sTale 81
• I I '• , I

: ...
 ' ' ~; - ~.:• _;_~~::_1,
~.•.~-,:_•,•.
•-•••• (:,•;,,:'·
/.: l _-.,

~ ..,.:>: ,r ~/: ....:,,~ ~ _"". J~, :. ·~~~- • . ..,., ., ,)- •.•. ~. •;.- - - ...
enlaced b . .. . . . . ~ ,., .. . . .,, .1 . • ~--=-r--,-~---· c::.,· .,,.". -~· .• • . -• ;,.-- •-77'~.~v--;- -:'~

•. Ya rainbow-hued i. ; ·:.\. ~~- ... °'!~·. •• .

10 ins. Th·ts compos1·t· serpent spring· . • • •• •--·· • • •
• ton deli h ing fr0
ed aloud: nor g ted tne so lll J\da , 1
h"ch she was then engaged; lines in which
. cou 1d I prev lllUch th lll s , ork upon w t . • • .
a brief dance f ent tnyself fr at I nei h , w •fi d herself with fire, with the thunder~olt, and
o rapture b f . oni g • ,. he ident1 e . .
etnpty sto ch h e ore It. Th h executi • s d Despite the somewhat archaic symbolism,
ma ad Work e c atnpa ng with bloo • . . . . •
being fr h . _ed Wonders F gne on ll1 d d her theory of 1dentificat1on, which_set my
om_ t e poiso • reed fo . 'Y I applau e . .
Went n of self-tnistru r the ti"" r-active brain working feverishly. ••
amongst . st and . .,1e own ove .
. people Without con t . . . tnferiorjt... "Or: urse I'm only a horse," I said with mock-modesty:
Ing and wh· . s raint t lk· ~.1, 1 • rco ' •
m!1Ytng. Whenever I s ' a Ing, laugh. .·"b I understand how knowledge and being up.ite in the
t h e walls I d . aw a good . . ut • .
anced like David b f painting-on ce· of creation so that the ego becomes one with all
nant·· h I . e ore the ark. f • tran . •
d
' w en saw a bad one I
.• , 1aughed .
° the co\'e-
ma
nifestations of the outer world. The inexplicable comes
•
an enJoyed myself even m ' neighed, jeered to bi~th in that relationship ·which links artistic activity
ore. , .
• In my over-stimulated di . • · ••• to the universe. Art is inseparable from all being. The .
con tton I failed .
l
ti
::',/·
r .. my uninhibited conduct w . t? note how artist, surrendering himself to the cosmic dance, has a
~ t ,f as swaymg O • • • . .
l; .i again.·· The individual h ptn1on against me • conception of that same _rhythm, participates in it, and
s w_ o, a few minutes . 1 works in harmony with its law. Only we must take care
da d d ear ier, had
ppe an raised their glasses to . .
th . . me, .now watched the professor doesn't hear what we are saying, or he'll ac-
e1r strange feUow-guest with puzzled nerv . d" cuse us of nonsensical propositions and mental regression.))·
a . f , ous, or is·
pprovmg aces, not· sure whether to take m •. I "He has never known what it, is to be the Fire," said
. · e seriousy
or to treat me as a1"ok • k
e - a JO e, moreover, not in the best my Poetess.
of taste. In blissf 1 • f h . • ' -
.. u ignorance O ~ e impression I was creat- "But I wonder if he knows anything about flame-throw-•
mg, 1 placed myself beside the monumental lady with the ers or incendiary bombs?" I interposed, ~ow quite abo~e
. step-ladder , wlio,h
, a d expresse d h er ·opm10n
. . of• the professor myself as a result of the champagne circulating in my
so bluntly a little while back. I wanted t~ talk to her to system. "It's amazing how p~ople who refuse to a~cept
find out who she was. w·
1th out• d oubt her . • •' m
importance . death existentially are._the very ones most apt to dissem-
some artiS t ic sphere ?1ust b~ considerable; I wasn't at a11 inate it in a factual way. y OU open your arms to death
surprised ~hen one of her odd Chinese admirers quoted and create a living process out of the ,-pull of nothing.
a beautiful stanza concerning Satan and Lazarus of which These others don't create anything; they simply kill." '
she was. the a~thor· • Sh e accepte d my compliments
. •• I reali~ed belatedly, that my voice was raised and that
graci-
I'd been talking rather a lot. Now, with th e idea of quieten-
ously, and was kind enough to recite some line~ from the ' ••
83
82 6*

\ \' ''
 0
' i • ,;.,: : • 0::~7:•:• .' II , F j • ••t • •
• •,. •••
• ~_:..,-"7~-:-;T-=:'"~~. I f I,,. .," •,, ,'-:

,; .·<.:,•_,·· .. ·, .·.:.:" ..,• •• ·.;, •••. ,, , •., ..<.-. '.,_:,·:.,,, ~~: ·:.:::::·' •. ··.·.:: ..·.,·•.·,,:i·,.·:::·"·,
. :.('. . tng, _1!1e,
Mr. --~oldpen tactfuUy d- • . . : ' . . ,· ,:.' •', • ', l .·\ -~-., , . .- ', .·, •., . '. ,,. . ' . 4
,·

••
'_••s_ho~-~~~
• • , rew llle· a 'd ..
'~e his collection of 'rare' 'o
•
SJ.· e and heg~h-·.
• •'f,., • . •✓•
. 1' nttCS Mr.. G6klp~~, at: Ms . ~nd, re_tired '·
.. ' I '. •
,,_.
'
_ • • ·, .-w~~s'
t- • ~ • • • •• P rcelain wh· . •t • • •• ·cli~gt'ace~.a : •.·. 'th his· fri~nd Pcitro)1agethe. best .. ··.;,
• ._. , • ; • • s~ o~t. tn c~btnets at the far end f h ,, kh_Was . . . . •r to d1sct,1s~ w1 . .· :_. . . . . .. : .

~ t :.":.,
.• :· •.. , • • • o t e ro
••_the ~ieces- .were •most beautiful I. : .. .otn•.Sotne of • • _ into a corne . .
f getting me un • - der· control.
.. Pres·ently_ the
... . . . . . , . . butler: . .. -.:·.·
·
O
•• • • • • • • • • Was particular! •• me~~_od . h. the inhabitants ·of ~he neighbouring ·
.,-• :-<· , nate~ by-a brown glaced'Shun • y fasci~ e in to say t_ ~t . . , h. . ...
_. _, • •_· - - g vase, and by ~ne belo . '.cam • •.ning about the noise t at was gomg. · . ,.
-~ , '·' to a later dynasty, painted .with 1 . ng1ng ,,, houses were comp 1al . . a· . ·.d ._. ,
..~ •• • •_.. • • ,• .a otus, each . . very welt but horse- ancmg a~ m1 _- ·
l , ••• ~. which ·had -been· executed with . •. l . . Petal of . on. a party was a11 ' . d . . . . ··'..••. . . ·-:
• a smg e vigorous b •.• .· •. ll too
i • • • •
stroke and b • • • d ch -
' · rush~ ht was rea Y . . ' · . . . ,.· - ..• ·
much they proteste . .-.. _· .-··. -· · ·
~ ·. . the room, and .'its. occupants. s~etfied·
i, ' " '· •,· • • • • •= ·

\ • ' '. ,..- ' • earm~ _mc1se. aracters meanin s

• • ' I' : ' '
• • . ntg to be ·..',
• w·,. d •• d Fl • • , - . g now, Moon • .-: By·this tim~ . - , . . . . . .. . - -
I ' ".' •; , :.• • ••tn , an • ower. The owner of these t .,• . . ·a·. -·1 round me .. But I refused. to calm down
, .•.•· • , • :...1.. • ·d·_-. •• • • • reasures held swaying tz.z~y . . . .. - . . . ·. .
• -' .ec3;u1 __o~e ten erly,_turning. it in -his hands a· ~f ·1 • . d d b b em the
•• • • • •- • • • • • ·- s I re uctant until .someone/ instigat_e ' :~o . ou t, X my. e_~-. y -..
-'·..-••-~<? ~eplace it in ~he cabinet ••After a time the d' 1· . , - •, .. . . . t for a.policeinan.- The si_ghtof th~ tall con- -
• • , •• •• , • _ • - • ., •• Ispaycatne.· . professor,sen __ _... · . · ., . - ... _ ·... -. ,
• •• _:t? a_ne_nd.,All t_he'precious objects had been handled ad-, bl . h1's·dark uniform with the ·grotesque yet im- , .. : ·_
•• • , sta e m , . -., ._- .
mired,
_, caresse_d,
• • _ examined
-• , put back in the· I • Th.-•
tr Paces. • en · •·ve
_ .press_ . .h.el·m.
et towering. up· to th_e
- . .ceiling,
·· sobered- me_,_--:_~\.·
-. · -· - -
.' I
notjce~ that,Goldpen, deteniiilled to keep myatte~tion. .•·/,a instantly. It was as· if had suddenlyvioken into a nights·• . : ·- : i
"ngaged;, started •in- despf!ration to show me quite un-. ,;. . mare. What had I been doing? Ofwhat uncivilized conduct.
, •' ,' ' . : : interestif!g and ,mediocre specimen~ ·;f~odern ware, 1:e~-C ' ' , had I been guilty? Everything seemyd i~~istinct and far ,
•, • ' • : pots and such_things, which he himself could not haVe •0 /f.1Could not see either Goldpeti ~r Patronage:· Only
! • •• : _::··:held in. high esteem. The effect of the champagne. f had '·. the ;elentlessly concrete hulk of the p~liceman Stood sol- · .
• , , drunk Was to ,make me bold and almost agflressive. Did, , idly in °my centre of vision, while behind _hiSba'ckI fOuld_
thi
i. he nk .hf! could insult my judgement like this? Instead • ju;t distingui;h two of the youngest pailltm convulsed..
_:! '.i,.. Qf easing his embat'rasstnent by calmer behavio'c,;, I grew:. with, laughter whidi they vairily'tried to suppiess~. •• .
1

f • " : •• :' noisier than,ever, neig'hing conteinptuoUsl.}'at the ~omm~n: ' • N0w I longed t~ escape somehow, anyh?w! from my < ·
I' • :.' •• ptace china:, dancing .;,;itll delight-in ·&ont of the rarer ., , shanieful situation, which ·~as coii,plic!'ted by anoth er , ''.
•: ' • pieces ••It was obvious that a dis:istei- of s6m~' sort was• humiliating fact: namely: tha,t, after drinking so milch, it'
;: ,·. ,·. unavoidable •• N~. one ·knew hoW to. d~~l ·with 'a horse •-.. ii •• wasabsolut~ly essential that I should reiie~e myself.Un·: ... ~ ·;
•••, • • which conducted itself so ilbstreperousl,Y at a party. Seve; • • steadily I Stagg~ied otit f:'f.th'e i-o'om,intending to make • • ,·
•· .
rat Of the more .timid or dignifiea'guesi:s took theit' d~-> ., , . mY way to the lavato~y. But on the landi~g my knee_s
Parture • t. • h'
.( .·,. --. . • ! no_'WIS mg to'• be• •'fur_t
-h.. •• • • •• • with
et:' c1:ssociated : •my.-.·., ·,•I ·,· • • , -.•. _··.
:t:rea""1.ero·us.ly-ga;e
Ul way ~nde,r_-
me. Unabl~_to cont__
rol any
'I

I l . s4 .• ,- _.,.
•. • • . ·/, it ( • - • • . . :_ ·s5"' :
. ; I .. • .. •,' .•. •)\'.} ' •' ,•\ ,. -~ ' .. •

' •••. ' , «:,i '". ! • ·' . . •.. ' ~ - ' . -.·
. ' ;_ ; ·~·:. i ' ....
j

.(.
...

\
•., ••

·' .
 pa~ of my body,· I collap~ed _- • . . • • : ••. -~ .• _,
. . . , ignomin1ousl • • . .-
case, blocking it altogether. I didn'tk y on the sta·1
in to . · . . · now what r-
g me, my bram seem.ed sub • Washappeh
ch • merged • •4-

. ampagne fllled my ~yes and 10 chatnpagn

- , ears, and it d "b e,
me: I was swimming drow . , . . . rt bled fro
' mng, m it. Wodds a Ill
I heard laughter angry in.d" way I thouoht
; ' ' ignant or mocki • . o
policeman speaking of V .
ets and Identity
- ng voices th
d , e
Jcame round in the observation ward of a hospital, to
of these sounds seemed 1 car s. But none which the police had taken it upon t~emselves to convey·
.. any onger connect d . •
./
I was the centre of a d 1 e With tne me by ambulance while I was unc011scious.At first I did
. ream andscape and identifi •
It; the stairs, unfortunately h d b - ed With not know where I was but, remembering the terrible days
I .. , a ecome a case d •
I had lived through after the occupation, thought I must •
myself was a rock over which 11-d • a e and
rLl! we ressed women climb have been placed in some camp as a preliminary to being •
hung their skirts and a "d• . ed,
vo1 tng cautiously the pools h • sent to ~he slaughter house. I had suffered a -severeshock;·
and there. Then I passed out completely I . • .ere
· • was one w·th my system was thoroughly p~isoned by the alcohol I had,
not h ingness, with the void, • t
&unk and by the sedatives subsequently administered to .
_mein the hospital. It was not surprising that I made a
bad impression on the examining committee, who found
~e completely disoriented as to space and time, and con-
signed me· to one of the public asylums.
Here, at the start, I hardly knew whether I were a man or
a hor~e. From myintellectual's viewpoint, the place seemed
run on the principle that its inmates should give as little
trouble as possible ·to the staff. With this· object, hypno-·
• tics ·were given _as a routine every night an~ frequently
during the day as well. The old fashioned axiom,.';Chil- I
I
I
I J,
dr,en should be seen ~nd not heard", .might have been
,i i

~-
I'
coined for the patients of this institution. One had only ~ - -~·(,. .:
./1 !il '.~ \•,,<
r . to ~ough ~r move for a nurse to come running up with i:!
!l~
·11
,, • . bromides and capsul~s, o:, if these milder means failed to 1
l '..1,,, ~ .t

86
J 87
1

h ''J

I • I

'\ .
I
::~
S.!
-~,) ,,
 ' -.·-.. ,· ,.- ··:-·-_.-_,~~--~~ __:~~~----------r--:~----:- .•
_ produce immediate -. ·• ~· • • : · , · •.• · ·_, -._:.
.
~
i_
,..
• st1ence
I got the impres~ion that
and .
·t . i~~obiJ!ty, Wi-~h
;' . .
~- . : .
:~~:<: > ' , _:, ' -•..-.• ' '. : '' ''.•. ,'·. .
' -.·• •• • _.::•.-. ••·-e .-.a~d I was forced to stand still,
l I. • • • I Was ·not h , . syrin . . uch too 1arg , - • .• · . . · . . . .
j,

j'. _ex1ste':lfor the benefit • f . .. t e -hosp. Re. • s 111

- o the ·patients . . ItaJ whi which it wa . h f for fear of injuring the patients
• --• whose function was to . .. ' but the ch . to bft a oo : .
•, - not daring •; h. • all round me in, the bottleneck I
• •- provide the staff w· . Patients • bl'10 g and pus mg . , . . . . . -.
.,; drawtng their salaries Th d . , Ith an e,ccu . •scratn . the last to enter the dining-room w'1ete -
d ·1 • • . • . e octors rushed h se for , used. I was - . . ., .
a1 y tnspect1on With fl . - t rough .h . had .ca • • t shment
• • , . . Ytng coat-tails al . t eir . d to iny as on1 . ~
, . .I .was
that , -expect~d
. to eat,
•• cupants _ofthe wards were irivi~ibl ' . mos~ as if the oc. _I_fou_n' . • d tin spoon, :an eno~o-µs plateful of ~oiled
•• t • b h - - e to them Th . ·- - ith a battere . . .. -. . . . ,, ··..
• o~, ~ ~ved as though unaware f h • , • e _nurses. • ·, w • When I· complained tha~ bo~h .food_an~ ~poon
-• h •
in t e1r charge. I was ama d
•
• o t e bodies . f
h ..
ze at t e way the 1 .
· q, those
' •. potatoes. . •bl f~r a stallion fre~eive·d routine slap from
. unsu1ta e -'
a
· · . .
chattered between them 1 . h· • y aughed and - were • h .h . . . ." .
" • •
. _·_ the sister in .. • .'•··charge ,
together wit.
t e m1unct1on to stir
. se ves w de puttin, 1.

•.,
the most intimate functions. 'payin
h • - '
g me thro~gh
- g me no more att .. my. stumps• • • "·nt future.instead . -_
of causing. delay.
.. . . .
The
.
door ..
. • t an if I'd been a dl!fective tractor which th • . . ention . . .:was then· locked. _Standing in ~ come~, hdp~es~ _and be-_·.
•• to k J .• • ey Werepaid
• •• eep c ean and in some sort of w k· , - :. . ••>• .w1 'ldered, I watched . what went on. Four ·nurses·stood . . like . .
. :. or mg order. . . • •;·policemen around the 1o·ngtabl_e-c~vered with torn Ame-:·
• . , For the first forty,eight hOurs I was k . . • _·..
•::·artificial sleep; -a~d when I w 'k/ . I -~un 10 a ·dee_p:. , rican·cloth:: a~ ·us.ual;th~i~ attention wa_sperfun_ctory,an~· • •
1 • •_ _ •• • 0
e :UP was scarcely aware• _
of my being Th ·d • h. • · · , . • •th~y conte~ted_themselves with a~ _occasional .slap or re-
• • . e ays in. t ~s place ·were :utterly vac~nt, .J -
: , --.- . •
·devoted to a routine of ·emp·tiness. wh1·ch·• - .d . -.f . •i
~ primand for tho_sewh_~dirtied their clothes ~r were caught
•• • _ - . _ . seeme as 1 it in the act of robbing t_heitneighbours' plates. Huge white
.: might have been devised to deprive sa!le people ~f th~ir : . /:
tureens, ~iled high with waxy white boiled po~atoe;, stood
witf rather _than for the putpqse· ~f ~uring thOSe who'd ' I .
air d l h · • -. · • on the table .at di~ner and supper_time. For breakfast the
ea Y ost t ~m. .For a horse there was nothing to do,
same tureeni w~re filled with stiff white porridge. During· •
nowhere to g~. From morning ·tiUnight I saw· human be~._..
the few ·.days.whe~ I lookedat th~--co~~un,al meals, th~.
•.ings seated on their beds; yawning, sCratching, twiddling
food did' not vary. No ·greed vegetable ~as_ served, and
•their _thumbs, staring blankly. bef~~e .them.. Three times-·
it. was lud<y forme that the ~eat.her w~~ .fine and that •
, - during the day a ·bell rang; and the whole crowd, as thOugh ' ·,• :,·
I ~as· able to ~-natch-a few ~onthfuls ~f gra~sdu~ingth~
•~uddenly ·possessed by demons', sprang up and raced t~ , '
•exercise hour in the· grounds. . .
•• ; the dining-room. The flrst .time this happened I had n~: - •• .The ·asyl~m was built according to the usual design for
''1'

idea what the bell indicated: Blindly ai:compan;ing the :• . •;: such in~titutio~s, ·and consisted of a number ?~drab grey
I I ··
rest, my hors~'s ~ody b_ecam~jammed in. ~h·epassage for-_::._.· • •
•buildings surrounding ' ch.imney l'ke
.a v'ast 1 that
., .
of_ a , fac-_·
. 88 • ,- • ,· '., .' .. '. '.. • -::· •: • 89

.,
' ' '
I
/ .
.· i
- ~-~,;: /ff=' ,: "
tory, which dominated the 1 , , ,
h • out ook fr0
s adow of the phallic di. 1ll every •·d•
•• imney could not b 1 e. ~ • . answer. But the· clay and colors were·
ever one went out of door S .
s. Otnetunes I th
e avoidedWh e
ere.
•band affirrnat1ve r
d It took me a i ttle while to grasp the fact
a watdi tower from the top of wh.-L ought it I\>
never produce
. • o f t h e asylum to accede
rule . to every re-
•
continuous observation in . h•.,:1 We Wer e kept nndas ~
case we tried t er t hat it was a an inmate, an d .then . simply ignore it. I felt
some reason I did not und o escape.F
- erstand the pat· or quest rnade byhen a nurse suggested I was no painter at
allowed in the greater part of th ' . ients Werenot humiliated, w d better resign myself to becomi_ngthe
• e extensive gro d that I ha . 1d
were restricted to the use of .. Unds,but all, an del •of a very conventional artist, who cou not
a certain area pl . 010
trees, the roots of which must h d . anted With horse-. 1 ever have approve d of my "Hoofism''. Natural-
I • ave eprived the
of aU nutriment, for nothing hut ground • possib y h' frustrating treatment without protest.
• coarse, ragged grass . I didn't accept t is . , . .
beneath them. Autumn was coming on, und h gr~w ly en the doctor passe d through. the ward with . . his me-
.
1 • sky, the leaves fluttered down • 1·k er t e tno1st
ow-hanging 1
Wh .
chanicalquery, "Any complaints?" I blocked his way, whm-
• • 1 e Wounded
birds. Dunng the exercise period selected pa.t· • •nying so• t h at h e was obliged
. _ _what I had. to say
.to hear
• • , . 1entswere
given, In the name of "occupational therapy'-' th . b about' this
• • 1ack of tact
. and of artistic information.
, . He
' e Jo . of •
hstene d qm·t e politely ' promised to look into the
. matter, -
clearing the ground, sweeping up the leaves with rou h
brooms made of twigs. As I was unable to take part in t!e made a detour round my hindquarters and vanished~and.
that was the last I heard of it.· • •.
work, I could only stand about aimlessly, while the auto- '
In this repressive atmosphere _ofstultification I felt iso-
maton-like forms, in their shapeless colorless clothes, awk-·
• lated and melancholy. Everything seemed unreal, as if the
• wardly busied themselves round me, stubbing my hoofs ·
outside world had ce~sed •to exist. Although not I, but -
with their brooms, sometimes even creeping doubled-up
those who h~d given me the champagne, were responsible
•under my stomach, in pursuit o.fthe sodden leaves which·
for my misbehaviour at the party, inferiority feeling led
they heaped into a clumsy pile, soon to be kicked to. bits
• g punished for my
me to form the idea t hat I was b em
by the att~ndant in readiness for the brooms of the next
Q. C. squad. • 1·con• duct , and that I'd been abandoned by all my
a-socia

• The fatuity of this proceeding, characteristic of life in -

friends. • · -- o
• f ff •
Fortunately this sad state o a airs didn't last long.
.. n .
the institution, fllled me with anger and despair. Again • •a •sudden influx of. vmtors
,the third day after my arnval, ..
and again I asked for picture-making materials: my re- •• and changed my whole s1tuat1on.
, k by surprise
quests were not refused; I always received the same off- too me ck . d simultaneously
Mr. Patronage i.nd Mrs. Lovelu arrive . 91
90
 . ... . --;,-~--..
..,
• ..;' ; - .._ 7"':,~~~ ,.~ ,I ~·~

at.the asy~um Th ·, . .•. . :;.-., ; : , ·\ ~, /. r-c--ef"":'°;:~~:--,:~-~:--~' • ••

: . • • . e apparent ind·· ., . , - • , . -<~,. . .: •... , .-
.,,they had till n··. d' •.·. tfferenceto ••. . : , .• , ,·-. ,·.· . . .. .
'1·n .. _ • ow lsplayed, w. as duet llly'fate'"h• . -~ -• .• • -M~ch as the ,medical' superitit~nden~
g h h question. . ,. . .. . . . ..,.
'out oft ~ _- 'd to oblige his 'important visitor, ~egula- .· ':
.rv •
: since t ·e night wh ' h , O a lllisu' d • 1<:h
ch h • en t e party b k . n erstand - d have bke .. . . . .
1 ' •ea• , ad thought
- •
me safely in th ro e Up in •
conftrs· • ..woul_ . .
ust be -o s b e· rved. All he could do,· as a special
. · '
soon· .as they found ou~ th . . e car~ of the ~th 1011, tion_stI1 • t speed up the usual process in my case.. .- --
. ,·. • ~ e1r tn1stake er. A.s ncession, was o . . . - . - d l . 1·- .
- 1~ tracing m~ through the p 0 1· ., .. ' ~o till)~ was I co . 'f . iracle had occured. Gloo~ an 'on~ mes_s... -·..:
• h • ice. Their • Ost I felt as 1 ?-_m . . . ' - · .• .. . :-
·_. ard1y finished when ·m,, fi fr• explanations • •• ·shed l was surrounded by sympathy and
... H • -• J rst iend and ~ . We,re • suddenly vant • - , . -. .. . . -- .
• ugh, appeared, closely follow d b _ protector, 'Farrne· •. • ·-~ championed by f~ee, independent, pow~rful in~
e y the . . r . •affection, _. . .· . . . .
.art sch ool. Both the t • . • • . : P1:1Uc1paJ of th ., • .. - .• 'Nothing was too good for me. My friends want-
•• • • . se wo, in their diff ~. •. ·' . div1dua1s. . - . - . \• ·.- .
been worried !:iy my unexplained abru erent hotnes, hact.• .,.'I• ;d to wrap me in cottOnwool. Even puritaitical Hugh lost
• s_een my photographs and th - • pt_ departure; had. ! . his stern~e~s and spoke to me so kindly that I_fel~I'd mis~
h • • , e essay on Ho n ' • h .. d . h
• a d •Just -come out in » Look ·and L. . _Ousrn _Which . ,.judged him and that his : ear~ contame genuine warmt
' ..''
.sequently been directed here froin is:n«, a~d ~ad sub-:· ·. ·: ••·, after all. Now-it_ was the sub_-w:o_rld
of the hospital, with
., , periodical. • e ~ffice~ .of that·. • • :.'·its boredom; frustration, indignity and general belittle~
All this ca~sed • · • • . • ' ·- • •••:'-~ent,· whi~. didn't seem real. · ' -
• • . quite a_commotion. It astonished th • --. .,•. ---.-
..•. Very _soon
__·a_nur_sewas\ e~cortt_"ng
me to the committee
sta ff of the mental hospital to di --• h , :- - . ~ .
1 &· • dl -• •• •• s~over t at the apparent- -..~oom. B~t her~ a further shock ~waited_~e, Iow·eringmy·
y. ie_n ess and insignificant hqrse' after all possessed i·n.:. •• , .- .
fl
uent1a1 connexions and even so~e • 1· ,, •. ·.-·.
·spirits' again. To my disma_ Y_,I. saw,:;s__
itting -besi_de
. the
M . • persona ,,reputat10n... • .•s~perintendent in front of my papers spread out on the . •
.
-a'ny _fr_ ~ theirs_ ide, wer_e f~11o_f_sympath-y for me. ,
ien_ds, o_
.
••. • .h. .. : . ;ch - , - h\ h·
.. d- .. - d _·
table, t e·identical psy iatrist w o. a v1s1te me at t e .
h .
d ind1gnat1on because of the treatment. I ha·d . . d • • • -· . .. . -
It • • . re~e1ve . ••.••• ·art school,'with his tic and his uneven _eyes.~emeinbei-ing
was scan_dalous,absolutely outrageous, that the famous·:· _ • · the b~d impres~ion rd made then and the r.ither insulting
wonder horse sho 'Idh • b • .
• • • •• :U ave een thrown in.to a common .: ..•·, way I'd spoken to ~im,., felt disturb~d. My brief experi-
• loony bin •.
0
Wh
were these witch-doctors,. they' wa~ted ·.• ' ence o{ institution~, life had ta~ght me what it meant tO
t~ ~now, who exercised such arbitrary pi>Wers,yet couldn't • ,• . be ,lielpless i~the hands of peoi,le of his sort. This time . • ,, •
•~1st10g~ish between a genius and_a ~adm.in? Patronag~, •.' .• ': h~had me ill his j,o~er, and
I' could tell by his malicious' • ,::.
10 ~art1cufar, 'W~s aghast at what h~d befallen me. He ' : :·' I •' ' fook that he had every iittention of revenging himsel~for
·_,• wanted to. telephone. fo; a private ·ambulance· and have ,. ·, _ahouthi~ p~ofessi?n._A
.'.· •the ··offensi'~~-r~mark:sl'4. 111~de.
me removed on th • • • Th• h • • • • • • .;• . · ·: '· ' · . •'f h - - d t~ be snarling at
. ••• . .. • e spot. . 15, ~Wever, proved to be'·,:_:._.·
..._/' spasm'·coi:itort_edhis . ac~;- e se_em,e.: _ • . ·
92 .. •' 1
,', '. ,. ' • • .93,
(.'
,,
, '
!r
i - ,· ~:~~:~~·c·.
'~c~
1.
me like a ~icious d~g just ab : • • •••. • ~ .. .- •• , : • ~-~"-
. out to attack , .. ·y~ .•·" . : , , · ck had sev~ral times left her
maced itself into a grin. he d • The sna • rs. Love 1u
M
. • -' was oubtl - . r.1gr' heard that . ·
the downfall of .the "deg ess gloatino 1, he care. h f •d I
enerate psych t)o"er ·td in t11Y ffied to the strengt o mm
called me. I wondered if even M p opath'', as h ' ch1 cher next tes t . .
. • r. atrona e ed '[he tea . be deflected from my convictions
to get the better of him. Group·ed g Wouldhe ab1 .n refusing to . .
on the oth . e . had shown t . L king strikingly handsome and opu-
the table, which I faced alone lik . . er sideof uments. oo . , -
. • • ' e a prisoner at by his arg · . it he generously asserted that,
my friends were assuring the committ . . the bar in his expensive su ' ; .h h 'd - ft r-
• ee in emphar , 1ent d by disagreemg wit me, e a e
that I was perfectly sane. Their b Id tc tones
h he'd starte . .
. . o ness alarmed llle thoug h clusion that l had be.en right all
ds come to t e con . . .h.
I knew it sprang from ignorance •of th f ll ' for . war Huoh put in that 'he.also had disagreed wtt .
• e u extent of h along. Here t:> • •• .
powers the committee held. How Id t e·
. _cou people who ha . d h d never ceased to regret tt; not only because
never been in danger of getting lock d- . .• d me an a ·
. . ~ e up realize the • d that he'd been in the wrong, but because
he was convmce . . . . .
horror of being consigned to oblivion, forgotten b • • • t nt blamed his own contentiousness as
_ . Y every- . he to some ex e . . _ ,
one, Iost not only to the outer world but to o ' . .-
' ne s inmost the origin of my depression.- •
self? ~y friends could not guess what it was like to he .•• . Finallyit was the turn o~ Mr. Patronage, who first en-
.humiliated
. by
. infantile
. nurses, , or to have sleep· forced ,•. tered a protest against the way I'd been practically ab-
upon one against one's will. . ducted from his·party, leaving him 'with no ide~ what had ,
~ey'd decided between them to addres.s the com~i~--'. become of me, although he was my host at the time and
'tee in turn. ~ugh as the person who had known me lon.ger • · responsible for my welfare. In his cult~red smooth voice, •
than anyone else present, claimed the right to the first • the voice of someone un~ccustomed to contradiction, he
words, speaking authoratively of my character, telling ho;·. declared th~t I was undoubtedly a~ outstanding painter,
I had worked for. ·him for a long time with industry, loy- and that tf gifted artists were to be at the mercy of every
alty and initiative. In his opinion I was absolutely reliable half-trained professional man incapable' of discriminating .
and well-balanced. Mrs. Loveluck supported him whole- between. talent and lunacy,.all progresstv.
• eness would come
. .
heartedly, and I began to feel encouraged. The farmer's· • •to an end and art soon cease ~o exist.
• d bY t h ese words' which seemed
I was very perturbe .
dignified,straightforward manner and moderate itatement~
• . . • •. and to lead to d1sas-
seemed to be well received by the committee I whose faces • I certain to antagomze the committee ·
. •• d d reason to know the danger
. his sharp blue eyes scanned steadily while he was talking. trous consequences. I ha goo
rt on mental health. Sure
I noticed, too, that the superintendent was impressed when ,of casting a slqr on an expe ,
95
94
 .. ;, . ' .: .: ' .• ·,,: ~·:?~;~•o-.·_::,~~/~,r:r;~~tc·~.~~r-:.r-?. '-~~~-- :·:·:; ..
111
·-~_-~'-enough, ~ psychi~trist.w~s s~ ..~n~aged. ·h-· ··: _ •• . :_7:·:1i•·_:./: .-·-_·•.J~-::.·- ~
_· - _·. Id: •• ~s~~~,you? ·Ev~r si~c~ I got .f.'--
· -· · h shou 1 ~
~
r -_. • th bl ·th •• . •, .' t at h h I·:
•• e ta w1 his cle~tjled fist till the irik• •1 _et lttnped,. , , , • estfon, so -w y . . f r -~ome decent food, hay or oats, :
th • k b - sp ash d - qu -· · asking O
e 10 pot: ~t then a,tic. of such violenc . e 9Ut of •
e seized h. .. .
1
·h re I've been
· -
1 -. potatoes which no self-respect-
u~~
he bl - e ur ever astmg .
And what answer do ·I get? _.
,, • • 1_ •

.-. 'i
·,
was e to utter a single intelligibl Ill} that , · . stead of yo ·
.'
•• • • . . . e sou~d. The in . ould consume. . , , .
tntendent also looked d1stinc;t1yannoyed b . super:-- • , ' ing horse w . . h. h ·starved to death for all you care!"_
f Mr • • • .- . ' Utoutofr •' dll mtg t ave -
or • Patronage's.fortune_ he refrained fr . espect . Nota wor_ • . d war into the enemy camp.-'The
dd • • : • - • . om colll . utburst came -. .
a ressing himself very sharply to tn~inst d . . lllent, ·' My _o . . , forced to defend himself against the .
"T k" - ea • - ·ntendent was . . .
a mg the fact of your sanity for grantea' 1 • supen . s ~fo,y friends, who insisted_that I should.
, b. . . • , suppose . sentful charge . . ·. - . .. . .. .
you wont o 1ect to answenng a few questions'.>''. • , re . acid meal before anything else was done. Mr. . . .
Befo~e_I 'ha~. time to reply, the ;ario~s tnembe.r • f .h : be_g1vena got a-m~ss~ge to his chauffe~r outside, ordering ._.. :- .
~
-• • • . • so t e Patronagese . . . . . , .
committee began finng quenes at me across the. t bl 1 • . . . - d buy· oats and drive b_ack
as fast as possible. -.
•.
•b
~ th~ p?ch,atnst,
1
• • . a . e, ed .
now_once m_orein _commandof his
him to go an . . . . -- .. ; .-
:Tuecom.;,ittee ineeting b~oke up in disord~r. No more, . , .
• •_•-vo ce,
• _•_whichrattled like a machine~gun:
- _ . "Where
. are you.,
• ,- , . • ques
. t·100 s were ~asked: The _ superintendent and
.
my_ ps~~ '
~at's the date? Which day of .the wei,k iS it?. What's • . •.:<,chiatriSt,'however, b()th . persisted in saying that I W_as .
••the name of this placer How long have you been her'e? •' •'.. disoriented, and that anyone wishing to remove tne from ,. :. .'. .
• •,, •Where did you come from? Who is prime·minister_of thf . • the asylu~ :Wouldhave to take legal responsibility fof me . • . ,
• country?. How maity times do~s nine gdinto sixty-three? itnd place me in th~ dtarge of a qualifiedmen~ spedalist<f ,;,
Who is president of the .RoyalAcademy;>,; : • . . . • Mr. Patronage at Once agreed to do all t)tat w~sneces.-, , . . ·
t
• "S op!"~ shouted ·at last, itidignation getting the better• • • • .sary.·Producing his cheqtie book, he jn~isted that I should
of prudence. "You're all playing trid:s; just trying to confuse ...• be: p;.ovided immediately "'.ith a Private morn Where!"Y
me and catdulle out! H~\\" should I know where I am ' . friends could have free.access to me while arrang_ements
·
when I was bi-ought here uncOttscious in a closed·.a_mbir- _werebeing made· for my future. I· was _amazed_bythe ·.-:
• • • lance? I nevef have known the date or the day of the speed With which;under thei~fluence of th e in~ic book, ·..,
week unless I h~d to keep some special appointment, and . . my surroundings changed fo;thiebetter. In a qm~tro~m .
h
ere all the days are exactly alike. _Howdo you expect . ';-: • • -_
• - • • .,. • - , . opening on . • . to. the
• . gar
- •d.en, ,w_
·h
er~·I could
. . take. exercise
. . · ,· ,· .·
me to know anything • ••m
• • a place
• where there •are· no .ca•.
.., . ... - whenever
, l pleased, m . t he ~ompany of loyal
· .friends,.· I..·· .
• ••lendars or• newspapers
• and• nobody to' talk
: to? your : •doc-··• ...: •.. •.
:. · • :,. soon
- forgot
· - ••my • mela
• · · cho
n·· 1Yideas and began. laughing
· . h ·agam.
. his ,:.:·
• - •
tors are always in far too great a hurry to answer a ~ivil ••• .
Mr. Patronage could not spen mu ·• · d ch time wit me.
, :. - .
96 •• • • • -•·:.· 'l .. Blu;h- The.Horse's.Tale · 97
,,
• : ' . 7
' / ,, ', . ' '
(1 ' . . ·,(_-
 ,,

','.r,
multitudinous oblig,at· • , - . , .
f i}
)
felt
.
· ·
ions claim
qmte content conC!d
'
•
•
u ent that
e
d h·ttn
,
• •
e1sewh , • ,.• ••.,.•
ere. B •
)-

'1
f 1·
;at1on, he would de .d ' after careful • llt I
. . . c1 e upon what • . consid
was m my best interest .. e~er course of • . e-
. . . action
..
,,
l;

1· .As I was still .in need of rest, and suffering from periods •• •
1; ;
J, ; ·of depression, it was decided that I should visit the esta- ..
J. ;
I ••

blishment of a foreign expert who had recently been ~uc-·

cessful in treating a famous dancer whose case in some
. :ways·resembled my own. At first I was unwilling to enter
another institution: but on being assured that the mountain • t1 -~c
._ .. -~:c
~>··-~"'-~' -
clinic bore no resemblance to the asylum where I'd been . I •• , _,,· ·r• •:·

. so unhappy, I agreed to go. The project began to seem ;:~ :,,:·;'.::.J~

:{.~
like a holiday when Mr. Patronage told me that he had·.
· business to transact in the same country and would travel 1,·-{/?~
• 'j • -~;.

with me, by plane, and later by road along the shores of ·.

the,lake.
. When we arrived at our destination after the easy j·our-
ney, the place surprised and delighted me. !here was no
.hideous chimney here, no jail-like buildings, no shambling
•shapeless· figures in dingy clothes. Instead of these things,
I found a number of agreeable hous~s, chalets and larger
villas, scattered about in a beautifully kept park. Chrysan-
themums and other autumnal flowers filledthe wide borders
·I
with colour. I noticed squirrels among the thinning leaves ,,
I
l
I
of the trees, as well as a great variety of wild birds; the l
p~rk wa~ a well-known bir_dsanctuary. The peaceful reas-
suring impression all this piade _onme was only te~por~
· 99
98 7*
 -; ,- ,, -~ ~ . • ' ;- '• \ , .. . . ·; ..., '. -
-- •._,_____ . -'"~ ~ • -i·. • ,. I, -' ·· ..., _,.·· ••. _,. __ '"' •. ·t \"".. • 0: '(•:· ,1·:.

. . , • , , ·a~:~~• •-~~~~ -) , .• -.~~;;,;.;~.-~~:'·s~--'- C~--~,· ..:.~-·;-

arily .marred· by a. s1·1·ht d. . •• : ..•• . . . ·-\~~- ~:-· . : . , ·.•.,_ • ·: .. .,
. .- • • 'g.. . isappointrn - • • . •. • \ • ' _· ' . .. ' ' . ,' : . . ,· .• . .. ~
mtq the building·.,H - • . •. ent When f • - • ·· ,.·. ·...: : : • _- h • matism, Mr. Patron~ge was equally
' ere we• •heard th at .D· . • Was Ied · · , -. . a:
·uen with r eu , . . .· .. . .
·th e chief docto~ was b • · __to stJ,_ . h: •acc9 mmod;:ition, drawing my attention·

t(·t~
• • •• . ~-Bieron .
- _ ' a sent addres • . . · Ylllou - · · - d with .15 · - •
. ence in the -n~ighb • • ' sing a learned • , ~,_ . plea~e ,l oodcut on th.e wall, and remarking ·how
h • • .. ourmg ·town,-and Would confer- • to an excel ent w.. d . . h . ··t·1
~. e clinic until th t ff . . . • not ret . • . . . s to see goo pictures m a osp1 a :room.
. e o owmg day. His 1 • tt~n to : ·. interesting it wa. . ; .. , . . . .
a lady doctor d z .. .
P ~ce Was·tak . • • -b d feeling that Id come to. pie_right place,
:· .. t'.

.
.
of a veteri
name . wengb :who look - .
•11. •• • , .
• . . nary co ege; ~er grey. hair n ti. , . ead
ed like the h'
en by : I went. to e_, - - : - - -
· ;. -11 d awakened to the peacef-~dchorus of birds,
. : slept we ' an . . h . . h . . -.
- -.
..
}~i--::; ~::-J\
m a net' h - 1·d· f • • . . ea Y confl - • ·, . suggested spr,ng rat er t a~ autumn.
• • I • er' so 1 ?rm neatly encase . necl . :whose song . . . .. . .. . .. : , . ' . '
Despite th e po • 1·1teness with
• . which . • . h • d tn grey tweed . s. . '
. . _.It_w~s _ a long. .time. smce I had
.- ., . felt so m - harmony . with·.
1
legs I d d • s e ~oked at niy hi d - ' • _ - urroundings·. C~nifldently I awaited the arrival of the
'· won ere ifsheweren t n mys , . - - · .... , . .
1arge narrow • •
mouth o ened and
~ _a~ expert OI?,gelding. u
. . . J1er
:ch.. f· doctor whose. appearance, when he strolled up· at
ie . ' . .. : . .. . . . . .. .
k • p • shut dec1s1velywhen sh • • f , en o'clock in the morning, made a most favorable 1m:-
spo e,. m a way that reminded rile 0 f . . . e . _eev . . - . .. . , -. . ·. . . ~ ,.,., ~' ,t.,'•

ld ., h • . . __a pair of sc1ssor·s. I :pression on me. Here was. a man as different as pos_s1ble , ;)\-<~~--.'..:.:.
,· ~:-
cou n t •. elp •whisperin t 0 M p •. • ··_· . • : . · .· · · -· · .. ••. ·,

• k.· • • • . . ~ .._r._,.a~ronag~ _that I didn't'.· from..t:hepsychiatrist with the tic and the ~alefol eyes._One -... ,' .
t h 10 she would understand ch b . - •. . - .. · . ~ - '· . · · ,;;.~-(_·.:~
_ • · . . -mu . a out my day pictures.·_. -could Ste at a glance that Dr. H~eronymous was a very ..
7:1en we. were escorted to the cottage which had been ', ••·civilized,we!Hnt~grated man ~ho would ;,ever allow per-
.
specially prepared for tn 10• d , ,· 0 • • - • .. - • • ' • · ·•

-., • e a vance, a~d _th~pleasure '1 sonal considerations_ .to sway his Judgement.. He was a
th
.felt in e way it was arranged ai: once mad~ me forget·• citizen of the worid, spoke. seVerallanguages fluently, and
Dr. Zwengli's unimaginative, collscientiolls face ~nd heavy: , • niuSt have b0en about sixty Years old, thbugh bis smile,
st ,-.:,. ..,
-·.,;,"'! ~

• , •• ep. • , and th~ elastic in~vement~. oi his ~ealthy,. strong body - -.:-..:· ....., ',:._
th
• ,. ' ' - Next to e room Mr. Patr~n~ge was ;o oc~;,py for ~at seemed to belong to some o;,e ,imch Younger. He already .
·_:· :· night, a l~rge ~om~unic~ti~g roo~ ·had b'een-.equipped·, ,,! _·'.·. ,kne~ Mr .. Patronage ~nd ~~hrted him:\va~ty;:turning to, '
• ., •with everything I co~!?
ne~d; -~,straw mattress, a. drinking ;• •gre'et ~e i~ the same natu~al ~iendly way,_without a trace.· ·
b~~l, even a wireless 'set. "The ~oom ·opehed on to ar~ofei. _':·.,·.,i ,' , of 'th~ co~d~scending pompousn~;s ,to whi~ 'I'd grown
in v~randah wh~re l c~u1dli~ 'or walk about in. bad weath:er ••· ·,:.:··_,..: used in my de~lings with other 1°ctors. -
nd
_·a -~lso work at my 'claypainting whene~e; I felt in~lin:~i•·,:I ., '_; \ ,:, .·' ' Thegood- contact estahl,ished b~tw:een us a~ our first
A small me~do_wln fr~nt:_~f_the cottage.,wa~ reser~eifor ,_·:· :·'i ; ' ,•• ~eeting made it ~~sy.for me. to settle down in' my new
my_special u_se: here I c-o~ld dance .and perfqrm gymriastic quarters, and, though_ ~-:w~;
sorry to l?se the compan~o~- ' ' ; ; : '.
', • • • •h h t t on hts
ex~rdse~ to loosen-up my joiqts, which ,haqlate1; ·be,gun' ••__
..........
·,....__•• , ~hip of my ~enefactor and friend w_~n _e se OU '
-._.
• ' ,, ,\ ,- ,' 101
100 .• , i:: ,- ..; .. ·._ , , . ! .. . , _ . ,;
,, •' • , ' , < C {j ::•••••, ,• --,:~ ,::_, ;,•[,•.•>::_,•:"••
'• '
·•-· ', 'i· I I , .. , ' ' '
 business tour, I had no ~en;~tion of ' . .. ' . • • .
1onehness . . . . \
forsaken. Dr. Hieronymous visited . or of being , •.. ' . lk ,there• f ore• 1 could think; I was ·endowed with
• me twice ev I could ta ' f synthesis and creativity. Not only
These visits were quite infonnaI I t d ery day. ble powers o . .
• ns ea of Ill ki remarka . . • t but I also displayed practical traits,
rounds in a starchy white coat foll d a ng his • s1t1veartts '
, owe by a tr . was I a sen f d in conjunction wit · h t h e artistic
· · tem-
sateUite doctors and nurses Hieron~ · ain of : enerally oun
• I J .._uOUsWould saun not g nt Ins h or't I was far too gifted to live the life
1 I across the meadow, bareheaded and with h" ter . of a · .
Is hands • peramemy•ex1s . t en tial field extended into the· . lofty district.
the pockets of his weII-worn suit He nev • in horse, d . I h
• er seemed hurrj d f piritua1b emg • • s ·1 was a four-foote amma ; at t e same - .
or preoccupied: he might have possessed uni" . d . e 0
• . llllite leisure s • • uper-horse I could not tolerate the ordinary
. instead. of beanng on his shoulders the co . ti .time, being as ' . . ..
• •. . • . un ess respon- ,
horse s exts • tence. Yet ' .imprisoned in my con_stnctmg _,
..
s1bd1t1esof a world-renowned clinic Someti' h
• • mes e Would • shap e' I was debarred from making use of the fonns
arrive while I was at my gymnastics and th · h · equine . .
, en e would and•symbols available
. to the common run of humamty. I
stand watching ~ntil I flnis.hed whatever exercis~ I wa·s
·•,., .was me
• f n·or to· none•• but (although this was
. · not stated in
I practising and came to join him in a discussion of the -·
'1
so many words) I was. chaine.d down to my b~dil:yform.
ballet or of art and its symbolism in general. A listener •· .
. This preliminary diagnosis had a discouraging effect
would have thought he was overhearing the talk of two·
upon me. In spite of the pleasant environment and conge.;_
friends rather •than an interview-· between d~ctor and
nial mode of life, my periods of depression became longer
patient.
and more frequent. Now Dr. Hieronymous suggested that
One day the· chief proposed that I should have a. Ror- · ··1 electric shock treatment might help me. He assured me
schaC:htest. It was Dr. Zwe~gli who-~howed me the dia- that there was nothing organically w~ong; I'd always been
,i' grams and no~ed down my _associations, and I became . able to adjust myself successfuity to different walks of
sceptical and discouraged, feeling that she was unable to • • life; there was no reason why I s~ouldn't find ~y proper
comprehend the scop_eof my imagination or to interpret · field of existence again. Then he began to explain the
my symbols correctly._Yet when Dr. Hieronymous talked · • • principles of " ex1stent1a
• • l ·psy
••chology" of which
. ,he was .
over the flnal ~esult with me I was astonished by its neat- one of the founders. , .. .
ness and accuracy. From it~ he deduced the fact that my i' For Freud he had the highest respect; but other psycho-
t I

analytical schools had introduced a11sorts of nonsense

'I
depression was due to a constitutional abnormality. Rough-
ly speaking, my brain had developed far beyond the usual the whole practice of analysis to a crazy
an d re duced , . ·1 -
standards and limitations of the most intelligent Arab horse. ' . ere• fore he had turned
••amateur level. Th , to
. ex1stent1apsy .
102 103
 ' .·.... '. •• :~ology'.:Whkh ::as\~~e~ ~~:,~Ca:sU??;~~::.:~ \IT.:~
:~~;~rr~-d~· ...-~dlei;~aw;~ie .vfrgii ;nd: ~er ~iessed.:· ,•
: ,' · plants and · 1 . · , : . ,.mptton t1,; . - 1
', . :. lighte .'~an _ ' _.• . . • .- , • • .• • :
·., an~ma s had their own special • ~at lllen, ., ..• _ with t~e ·~: . . d that· I was_n?. longer. pers~cuted by • ,·.
It was imp ·bl . f . ·- ·. ways of r • ; - , ·ia and rea_Jze. 1 . • . • • , • ·._,
. •. . . ossi e, qr in,st~nce,-to .inake a. tree 1"tng.' \ \ ,, c~1. , tonger in danger: Dr. Hieronymous listened c~re·: •
without earth, or t? force a tiger to live on . - grow ~ • f}tes,no . • . • : rie·s-telling tne at the end that a high-
an . 1 - . . . • . . grass. Sitnil• •. " to these memo . . ' • . • . , . , . .•. .. . •. : . I

arti_st_cou d. not thnv~ in a ·labourer' . . , _arly, • ti fully . . - . •e mind was bound to expenence rehgtous • ",•
. d . . , . · . ... . s situation, .'· . ,1 olved creatiy .• • •• • •
• - • ·..was -~t.a vi~able to demand of unintelligent-_p_eo1 .• nor I ty ev ·and rnet~physi~l s·tinjuli unkno~n· tq bein~s ~ow_e~ ·:
beyond· their natural abilities~ · • . · . P ~ Work urges . . • • . : ·. • • . • • , • • • ••
• • :
,., . - : . •• .the ·evolutionary sea1e.
i •. - .
, "Iwas very interested in •all thi~: b~t th • h ••• •.• •• ~: down I •• • etting. more insight into myown condition,
.. . . .. . en t e doct I felt was g . .. . •• ' • .• . •.
said ~o~ething. wh'.ch surprised and ~ven Startled me. ~:. . . .. .. . •whidi, ho'1ever, still failed_to improve. s~emed to be •.• I.
had noticed a curious point he· remark d . - • • . • . : .• t the same apathetic state I'd been in while·}•
. ' : . e ' in connexion--~ ·relapsing tn o . .• . . . • •
with me: the fact that I apparently understood t.h • ·, ·'. _ . ·th the.artrocister. A sense of frustration paralyzed
. . e south- · I was w1 .. . . , • •
em language in which he· and_Mr.Patron~ge had-conve;sed _-. •-~ . ·me
completely. -Mr
·app~tite. va~ished.? no longer ~ar~d
• joini1_1g
in the talk,, though I ~yseff. continued to spea~·.; :-: 1 >;;: ·-to dance or to-perform gymnastics in the meadow. ~e _
.. -I
in the language o~ the country I'd. r~c~ntly' left. :Was it .,·: ••attendant who looked after my·ne~ds ·produced_beauti~l. -.·
.•. ,.[ ·, : possible, he suggested reflectiVely, that l;d forffieriylive.f '':' •. • mU~icfr~m the ~~dio,hoping t~ stimulate nie. It was no ._·.
' in the south as a dancer and circus performer, .but was' : . '. 'good. Neither Bach nor Stravin~kr cocld help me. He
for some reason un~ble to recall that period of my•.· • , brOught fresh clay and provided a ~e~ range of colours,
life? . . _/. ',:· • . ,• • • I b~t I cou1dn'tbring_mys~lf,e~en to._lookat_them.-. • ·,
- Th _. d d ' • • •• · , • •.• D tt· e me a singleelectricshock. 1
.. .. e question astoun e and puzzle4 me, for until now . .. . ,1 • • •• At 1ast r. 1eronymousgav . ._ • •.-
, ..... I h d ·, . . . . .• . • . d • ly vered slowly. Towards
· ···.. a n t realized that I understood the south language. • . • . •• I felt·dazed after it.an on reco - . _
. . . . ;, .:, As to the past, i'd never been able to r~member. anything·. '.. • evening, when i was,mor~ myself,he c~e on to my v~-. . .
., . except that I'd once da;,ced in a cirCuS.My menWry only • • . ia~dah; but instead of sitting down beSideme ~s5 us:i~ . , •••: ,
; I

· · · became clear at the time when I f~und myself ,stit~ding. • \. • he invited me.to stroUwith him acrosstbe grouhn - tou~d. -...,,
., . ·.·. . . . . . . .., . . .. , . d . large .room on t e gro
' \ ' .. ,. about. \\_7r~tched,·shive~ing and half~starved; with other.·:-· . • ;' private house. We ei:itere_._ a. •. . • Was I a pianist,
.• I . . . . - , . . .. . . .'ch . • ed two grand pianos. .
_.!,f broken-dow,n hor~es a~er ~he g~eat inva~ion. _Only-to_o· . floo~.wht c~n~a~n _ . , deli hted to play som~
. . . ·. . .. , h d • quired, If so he d be g - •
h •. • k •I ·realizedwith a
I

·well I._recall~d the· desperate misery of beiqg driven to_ ..t ~. octor 1~ • •• '
I
'. .. ·. . . . •. , . d ith me. As e spo e,. • ••
l,
. ',the· slaughter .house.· Vivid,' _too,,-wasthe. contrasting re~ . I:· I 'S~ub~rt ue~s w • ld matter of fact, play the
l
. . . . , . . . . .. . .. ... . • 'dd f lin that I cou , as a •
collect~on of security and relief when I.entered the church .•, •.. -. '. _~~ry O e,e g . .. . ,. •.-.- • • - 105
..\·.
104
 ·: ~r
,•;'
.>· . . <'>·, "/ /1J!f~•r-r •

~~
I\ j•

, '
j' _:·
piano. For years I had not tou-1.. d
u1e a k b
,
0
'.
• dd enIy came back to me that i'd b ey• . ard ; no"' it •
• ·- ~. ,_
• -
•· • . · · • · hock Had I not been sufficiently
• acioustb a all I'ds endured?
h n any ·· · ·.
su ore elfic
• • 1 een given tI1 t ady Y
trammg ong ago and that I'd ft a tnusicaJ hockeda re h ughtfully considered my request .
•o en co1Iabor . • s . nymous t o
composers, adjusting my choreog h ated •With pr. I-Itero · leep that night a beautiful repre-,,.,
• rap y to th • I went to s
Although, of course, I was dreadf II e1r tnusic. And before Madonna had been placed where I could
, u Y out of pract· . • . ·on of the . . ,
my •forelegs were very stiff I b • tee and sentatt . straw mattress. The effect was tm-
• • ' remem ered Sch b ' t't as I lay on my
music: and, after some preliminary pra t. • u ert s see 1 t supernatural: one might really have
•h • c Ising, I sat do d' te and a mos
wit the chief and played for· a time I d'd , wn . me ta h . ture possessed miraculous powers. I at
• • • I n t think tn h ht t e pie '
playing was at all good. But the doctor Wh I . y t oug . taxed my usual energy came flowing
• o, noticed once felt more re , . d k .
was watching me closely said he f lt b '. . xt day I began to dance an to wor at
• • ' e etween us the back the very ne
comm um on only experienced when two b • • ' . -ng . Hieronymous realized that we had
• • emgs meet on a new c1ay pam 0 . .
I,
the same ex1stent1al field. There was no doubt h ffi •. h . ht means of achievino my complete mte-.
• , e a nn- hit upon t e rig _ 0 .
ed, that I was a genuine artist. I had known m .. F ears I had been deprived of the vital force
• ' Y proper _ grat1on. or Y
sphere of existence at one time, and, when I was able to which alone could satisfy my metaphysical needs. I had
remember it, the cause of my present depression and inner . lost my essential cciti.tactwith the macrocosmos.As soon .
frustration would disappear. . as that contact was restored and I myselfrein.st~tedas an
He thought the electric shock had .had a beneficialeffect integral part of its harmony, peace would enter my heart;
on me. I was not convinced of this. Though I retained no l would find my rightful place, my lost memory would
clear impression of what had happen~d, the thought of • return.
h
.t e expfrience frightened me; I knew I'd been through . • No more
• progress
, having
• b een made for some days, the·
,.
I a sensation of metaphysical annihilation and disturbed doctor proposed a narco·ana
•• 1ysts,
• • h opt·ng that in. the drug-
.
)
\.
ontological being which (as he told me when I described induced •trance I might recall,some
• deeply -buried details
.
it) Heidegger would doubtless have called despair. On a , •
• which would help to establish the,nature _and the locality
_~udderi impulse I asked if I could be spared a further shock • past life.
• N
of my forgotten . ow_that I felt so much stronger
and .
on religious grounds: if, instead, I could have a picture of . • ~ ea er to co-operate fully,
and more opt1m1st1c,I was . g . k lace
Jesus or the Holy Virgin· in my room. It seemed to me - .
lorat1onat once. The narcosis too P
that I'd been accustomed in the past to rely on the ma- agreed to t h e exP , . • full at the benign
While I gazed trust y
in my ,own room. Z li slowlyinjected
gical potency of such symbols, and that they would prove· •
J06 I countepance t e O f h Madonna, Dr. weng
·
.
t 07
 ,~?:~~~.
',,t,·.
• • •- ,, l •: • • :, "~~•

<, : ' .. ·;:·-;-;/ ·.';" ', ,, :

: ,, .:
;,,';·_-·· •• asolqtion.ofsodi~;,ri t·I-~ • ._.·-· .· ·.... :,:',!;:·-:_._.·'.,, j~T0~ . :'·,·: ·:· , .·
, ., •. • . Y a into one-· f - - · . . ·.1 .
~
'_: • : • • ~1~d leg. J thought it a g·ood 0""'.- h o . the ~~ins ~f ~-., .... .: • , : -·•.: :••'. -.- •• • • •
-• •• • • • . the coun • try' Jor home. I was delighted
. . -.
• •• • . . . ,.,.lent at the la , ~•y.,. .··_:
• ·before·le~vmg h. • ~~unt of the different galleries_
. .· • presen~_e th1s_time struck no di h . , dY,doc:tor' .. 1-w:as_,·• 0 d· ohear tsac . - .- .
' • • • , s artnonious rio s .
• thing became blurred as th d • . te.. E-;e,.,,
... _'.
••• ·_s~e h_irn
-~ •• t
•_to • . - . .. • he a h d visited on
. · his trip.
- _"You should_.
· ·.-· · ·,·
•• • • . e rug entered tn .s "J . ..
• p1ct~re rec_eeded, I grew pleasantly d . :y _Ystein,the .. , :,•••
and•'•collecttons
• . 't,,. •I to ld h.tm. "YOU have culture. and
. .
• --I • - rowsy. Fo : . •• • • • •b 00 k on ar ' . . ·. •. ..
• • .was aware of the chief's hand .· I: a While · • •writea h . gt•ft·.o f. expressing yourself.~ I'm sure you J - • ' • _.

h • • . gent 1y stroking tn d t e .· · .
ead; I felt his fingers run d . · Y fore~
• e1icate 1y through _.• style an·rite a great b.oo k.' you ought really
. to- do tt. So
and smooth the hair on my neck Th my tnane • •w.understoo d :ibout painting
•, could . in every. country.. you .
.} _··:· . ••. slumber. • . • • . • • en I pas_sedinto deep
iJ : little is. •• tation of art to •museUtn keepers
~ • ' n't leave the mterpre
• • •_Afte~wardSI Was~old ~h~t good ~~ntact • • · •.• ••·.· .
•at , once, the doctor
• • betng
•. • able _to,. _ ·_ · wa,s_established._'_,_:
._.· • ~a •
. • • • h their amateuris </ - • h
. -
pretentious_ness
·.
, ·. .
and
.
incompetence.
. -: ..
.--
,
. .-.. · .;.. _ wit
A t is a matter • o f mystic experience. and . ..only
, to be ap-
• • •• • • ·_ . • . coinmun1,cate direc:tly .,.:'.·
.:W'thmy unconscious. It apJlear~d that speak· ·, . . .: ..···:-.·- _: '. -• r -• • •/ b t • ts Do promise me as a parting favou~
• • • •• _ _ • • •• . . . , . tng out of . , ... ...: • reciated y ar is • . . . .. . . c
•••:· tny trance, I fi_rs~mentioned a well-known sout·h .. :... i: :· " :0 'Note the book!" ••. , " ' .' I , _• . • . .. . ,
••• - • • . -. . . . . ern town.
• then Uttered my.trainees name and finally '.' .h._f / ;•·-~.. ; . "Yo~ talk as ff ''Ne were separating for,ever," he_said,
_ • . •- .• , . . gave. t e ull
••••••• ·1· , But I ex·c·laimed:·"Oh, no!· Art(sts_never lo~e
:=, , ••'.. h.·
title and address of _the circus i°,,which I'd Worked.There:: ·: · -wit . a sm1 e. . - · . .•· .· .
.··_.,
•• ,. •
•••. :··h·
, , •.contact wit one ano e • . . th r They·Hve on
. · .a common · . plane, .
•_ '. was no need to gO further. The needle was ·withdrawn, .•·
I
_ the syringe put aside, and was left peacefully sle~pfr1g .. •• ~embers of one secret family; •~rothers .. ~en~v_e~ yo1;1 • . . . . ~-.
Nei<t morning I felt calm ·and happier than· J had done· • • ::c~e to th~ s~uth you ·are sure_to meet me:' ..
• for a long tinie. Anxiety and dep~ession had.l~ft me alt~-· , · ',·: ' "Why ,to ~h~ south; why do you Sa)'that?" he asked,
• ·'' :·_ • .g<!ther. It waS pne of those st,11autu~n days when !~aves. llluch surpri;ed. Couldn't. enlighten hi_m
.• I didn'~ know I.
! '. . . • ·: ••do not fall, wheit the J;rees ~eelll to w~it tranqwllY,~us' 'Nhy the Word "s,:iuth" had Comeinto my head. •. . . . ,
r •• • • • •· • • t red the cottage and
f: ·' • • • Pended between thefrcyde{of being. I too seemed t~ be f• • • • At ~his point [?r.• Hierony~ous
- •
e~ e . . · . . ·_·
1 •• • • ' •
1 · f my subcons:.
/ •• •• waiting quietly for my fut~re. 'Although I remembered told us about the successful exp oratto_n°. : . . d . •,
••·1 •• •, c1ous
• • which • ach.teved ' first
• • he had ·' · .revealing ~hat I ~a .
i , • •• :nothing that I had S;id during the na~co-analysis,I had the ..
, •,-sa1'd1·nmy • ,• •
•• , •trance •t h en th.at he'd already managed to get
I· idea that everythiOg would v~ty soon becoin~ ~leaf and • • • • , - • The information .
" .:_ • in. 'toudi with my form~r background.. . . The ..
•• • siniple. Dancing thoughtfully in the ~eadow, I pres~ntl)'
\• , • • • • f dream was quite correct. . . .. .
saw Mr: Patronage ~oining acrOSsthe grass. 1-Ie had a~- /, • ••••·-.: •:which I ~ad give~ out ~ _m:y . . ·11h d its headquarters .
i
·u . istence. tt stl a I ' ' ' •

j tended to all his affairs ~nd noW i-etumed to flnd out how ·• ••
, • , circ_us was st1 m. ex ,, . He had spol<enon the
j' • • • : •• , I had named. · '
l
108. !• • • in the Southem town
~ • l •~ '' •
. . . .. . , . I 09
' , • •~ I ~ •

, ... • •• I
I.

,,. ·'
..
- ,

•. . :._ '
 ,;.;

.. ·d tn, heart when I thought of what Marpha and- ••

. tude fllle ypared and of the .happiness
• • before us,
still
I bad been s ,
ed; had been traced an:a::: theduplieavalsw~j~;:;lrsed. , ible by the loyalty of true friends.
ecte togethe ow. wade poss .
.d that the circus was waiting anxiously for me
o1d home. Marpha the moth f r again in th . It seetne • '
. ' er o my foals e1r or my i~mediate return. I saw no reason to delay
' many others were missing• ab 1 ' Was safe B • eager f ,
. • ove a 1 there • llt my departure. Dr. Hieronymous, too, a·greed that I was
Hans, no good dancer, n~ one to ~k Was nq l<Iuge
quite· fit to take up my own life; indeed, it. was the. best -'
The circus would never b th e Kathbar's plac •
. e e same with e. thing I could do, arid the soone~ the better: ,After all the
Where would they ever find h out I<athbar
. . . anot er horse ca bl • · care.I'd received I was healthy and vigorous. My strange
gamzmg the ballet and th ch pa e of or- ,,
e oreography as K h • experiences had increased my intelligence, broadened my
done? They had searched f h·. . . at bar had .
. - or im In vain in v • .- outlook, given me _insight and wisdo~. No longer ·afraid
ent ·lands. No doubt th anous dtffer-
e poor fellow was a • . of life, I would be able to take iny proper place a~ong
dead, or perhaps dragging out a wretched sl war _victim, • . my fellow-artists, horses of my own constitution,· with.
somewhere, broken-down and de rad ave-existence whom I could enjoy full communication. A wave of gaiety • .
to find him, if only t . h" g ed. How theyfonged
. o give im the chance of endin h' swept over me. I laughed, thinking of the fun Marpha and
.days m peace. - . • • g 1s I would have together, telling each other our queer ad-
. "I told your friends that Kathb • • • , • . •• • ventures. I teased Mr. Patronage, saying that I'd enjoyed
and had n . . ar was very much alive
. o intention of ending his days for. a long time - his champagne, but that the next round of drinks would
t o come'' th
- h d '· e goo d -hearted doctor smiled, laying a friend- be on me when he came to w~tch my performance. He
1y an on my h • • fl agreed, joined fa the joke, but insisted on travelling with
Ka hb s tmng ank. "I. told them that I'd send
t ar back to the ~ircus at the top of his form as hand- me_to the south. "To see the thing through", as he said,
some and · clever •and 1ive1Y as he'd • ever been:' •looking and to make sure I got safely home. • '
, younger even than. before." ' Soon it was time to say goodbye to the head of the clinic
When I heard this I felt no • . . • • •• • where I'd received so muchunderstanding and valuablehelp.
and thank . . · surprise; only tranquil joy I tried to express my thanks :_but the chiefonly smiledand
sg1vmg-and a sense of th • • •
of what had h · . e inevitable rightness wished me good luck,saying that a true _artistalways found
appened. This was what I'd b •• •
for• it was . h • een wa1tmg hiS way tO fulfilment,and that he himself looked forward •
' as it s ou1d be I accept d •
unquestionin I . h • e It as natura11y and to seeing me dance as soon as an opportunity came along.
11
g Y as t ·
e trees accept the'tr seasons. Grat1-
•
111
0
 ' ,·. ..,,'•.'',:~~- ..., r~~~~'lfflfflfflffimtml!mflfflffl1ITTmrmn1i~~irnrnmm~~~~~;,dHi!l!~•!i!ifa!ifili&.1:a:.-i:.r~·-··~·
a· =~~
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,, . : _•••:~·"'·'l ~~veiled i~ sp~cial ~;rs~-~Q~'.trailer ~ttachel ~- :; , ·,

:,:-_A __ i:,.•,'~,i
:.:._~-<·.,_·:),:':;_, ,,__ j
._·.' '' ,'' Patroiiage's Rolls Royce, and the jfo:ney was so arr.,;g:
_ .•:::-_••.. • . _eel that. we .a~rive_~
in the_v~c.inityo. t e c~rc~searly in the
// ..: ··:;--_
.~. J· .. ,J · morning.' I_had taken it into my head to get my first
!i • .- , .•• glimp·se.of the. place hu~hed. in stillness ~efore 'the days.
/';:: _ :-~~i Yiil
. .. .' work began. • • •• ·,

.~
..-.-:.~_!;_:-_;;:_<_·•
, -~,~-·- ••
/if _.·
ji '.i_;f •.•-·_.-
.• -:.__- ....
r
. . co;~:dt:t:::t:::~!~a::, ::~~:~~~, ;:;o:
, : .:·.., • ~a1leys'and' hills. Then. the ~utskirts ·of the old country
1

9
--~-: -~~:·
·.: ·: ;/ .f • • t~wn ·camein sight, th~ orchards, the aqueduct like a stone
·.~:.-'.; ·-~ ~- ;' ! • -~ -~ • ···,caterpillar loopi~g _across the green;· the ch~rch with its. -
••:. •••• •• -~ncient tower. 1-:wouldn~t·.l~t 11lyc~~anion drive any j
' , • .,. ·.-.. further, but left the horse~box and parted· fyo~ him here, : 1

•··.·1,•-· ••.'.:.aski~g him to give ~y· .love to t_h~sewho h~d-b~friended. :,.i

,
.,,,_ . _.,I),\ •\me ~n hi~ country;. to Hugh, to Mr~. Lo_veluck,and· to t~e·. • ,
V ~~ ~ .:I'./
: art master. ~atching·the church tower turn to gold as th~.'
.:..:,_su~rose higher, I said I would always r~membe~.my friends· ·:: ·I
·in my ~rayers. •Lastly,· I pointed out the stables in the - ••.I
·. di~tance,.said goodbye to Mr. ~atronage, "Au revoir",_and ..
·._:;.weht on alone. · .·1
•, .-In ·a bright proce~~ion the horses were now coming -~ut '.
•. · : : into_~he morning ;ir, Wh~n I ·saw th.em, a flight of joy in _.-
--. my Ji~bs sent my foreleg's. ~ancing .like.birds. Then l took :•
- . . .•
the familiar path home. through the fields.
. .
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