Scribd
Upload
11 views

Unit One Summative Assignment

Uploaded by

alwajihsami
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
11 views

Unit One Summative Assignment

Uploaded by

alwajihsami
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
You are on page 1/ 2

Summative

Monologue:

Oh god are we finally alone? Jesus Christ, they’re probably inside the furniture somewhere. That’s what
they did to my house, that’s what they did to my car, they even had a camera watching me piss. I’ll paint
the walls with my brains if I see another camera flash, please tell me they’re gone. Listen, it was a great
deal, I got what I asked for, but I can’t handle this. My poor hand, I had to sign how many papers? How
many shirts? Now I know how nan feels with her bad wrist. God. “Sign this sign that or else you’re evil
cruel and selfish and the devil and aww now we have to cry waaahh” and then the babies cry too and
those little imps with their built-in sirens, I am never, NEVER, going to have a kid EVER. My shirt is
covered with their biohazard drool, their unwashed fingers that make trips from their nostrils to their
assholes and back, and I’m expected to let them hold onto me and I’m expected to SMILE??? I am NOT a
good person; I hate all these people and now every little flaw I have is under their all-seeing spotlight.
Please, you’ve gotta be able to do something about this right? I’m so tired, I wish, I wish nobody ever
knew I existed, do that one for me Genie.

 Go through each piece of writing closely and identify things that you
would change: diction, dialogue, technical structures, etc… Aim to provide at least five areas
that could be edited for improvement.

A -Could use a stronger way to say this, maybe a metaphor?

B- Doesn’t flow too well, could rephrase it: “You know what I wish?” instead of just “I wish, I wish”

C- A little cliché, maybe a better metaphor could be used

 What is the best part of the writing?

I think that it sounded very natural, the character was developed well through the dialogue and it was a
nice twist on the prompt

 What needs to be changed the most for overall improvement of this piece of writing?

I think it could be tweaked slightly here and there but it would fit very well into a larger story

1. Identify at least three different techniques that you learned in this unit. Explain how you used
them in your writing so far. Use specific quotes from named assignments.

I had not learned any new writing techniques in this class. 3 techniques I used in this assignment
were: metaphors(all-seeing spotlight) , hyperbole(even had a camera watching me piss), and
repetition(never, NEVER)(I wish, I wish).
2. What do you need to work on the most to improve your writing?

No idea here

Imagery and Figurative Language:

Beaming, bright and beautiful: words too long untouched by the tongues of the people, at least,
when spoken of the sky, for a dismal time had passed where eager eyes would reach for the
heavens only to be met by the nihility of snow, and those eager eyes would return to their
worldly duties. Each day that winter dragged on, it dragged hope with it. Small handprints were
pressed against windows side by side with the hopeless gaze of children, all they had to entertain
themselves were the adults’ struggle against a frozen descent. Each night was worse, cold, and
intrusive thoughts could invade the mind with ease,
Remarkably, instead of a defeated drop, today a moment of adoration held eyes in place; a
sunrise, how gorgeous, ethereal ribbons of red and yellow pulled a marvelous flare from under
the horizon. They battled the titanic night on fields of blue, rupturing the clouds and chasing off
the stars. Hearts cheered on in silent admiration, the clashing colors inspired awe among the
arena’s crowd, all beginning their days with now a great spur. For all these people had promises,
and all these promises summoned their labor, their labor now fueled by the breath of the mighty
sun. Its rays made clear the artistry engraved into their town, each dazzling trinket, genius of
cloth or vibrant parade of fruits. Life circulated through the streets, the mosaic of shades shuffled
and mixed, painting over the pavement and stone that lead to the beating heart: the market.
A – Should start off painting a stronger image of the actual place before the sky

1. Identify at least three different techniques that you learned in this unit. Explain how you used
them in your writing so far. Use specific quotes from named assignments.

Alliteration(Beaming, bright and beautiful)

Metaphor (painting over)

Personification (they battled)

1. What do you need to work on the most to improve your writing?

Be more objective and move the plot along

You might also like

pFad - Phonifier reborn

Pfad - The Proxy pFad of © 2024 Garber Painting. All rights reserved.

Note: This service is not intended for secure transactions such as banking, social media, email, or purchasing. Use at your own risk. We assume no liability whatsoever for broken pages.


Alternative Proxies:

Alternative Proxy

pFad Proxy

pFad v3 Proxy

pFad v4 Proxy