Personal

Guide
The 7 things I did to manifest my dream
partner

Author: Tosin Cullen

 Author's Love History

I spent a decade navigating the single life, with dating experiences leading to the same
disappointing outcomes. Ghosting, being stood up, and feeling ignored became the norm.
Manifestation seemed like a joke, until I decided to take control of my love life and call my
dream partner to me.
With newfound determination, I delved into self-discovery and embraced the power of
manifestation. Slowly, my love life began to shift. Opportunities unfolded, connections
deepened, and a sense of alignment emerged. And then, like a captivating scene from a
storybook, I met my dream partner and now husband—a testament to the profound impact
of taking control and summoning the love I deserved.
So, remember this: manifestation is not a joke. Embrace your power, set intentions, and
believe in the extraordinary possibilities awaiting you. Your dream partner may be closer
than you think.

What does it mean to

manifest something?
Manifesting your dream partner is the process of intentionally attracting the
ideal romantic relationship that aligns with your desires and values. It involves
using your thoughts, beliefs, and actions to draw in a partner who embodies the
qualities and characteristics you seek. Here are the 7 key steps in my journey
that led me to manifest my dream partner:
 1. Healing
While dating in my early 20's, I found myself trapped in a
familiar cycle of seeking out partners who were emotionally
unavailable. It was as if I had unknowingly gravitated
towards them, hoping to fill the void that had been present
since my childhood. I was consciously looking for my life
partner but subconsciously I was choosing the wrong
people. It’s crazy how that happens. It was through a
podcast that I stumbled upon an eye-opening realisation: my
inner child was yearning for the love and attention I had
wanted while growing up. This meant I was accepting
breadcrumbs and bare minimum from men even though I
wanted more. This revelation struck a chord deep within me.
Instead of continuing down the same path, I made a
courageous decision to embark on a journey of self-healing. I
knew it was time to address the wounds that had been
holding me back. I began the process of unblocking my
shadow and tending to my inner child's needs.
With each step along this transformative path, I started to
witness a profound change within myself. It wasn't an easy
road, but it was undeniably worth it.

This journey of healing and self-discovery is one that I

believe many of us can relate to. We've all had experiences
that shape our choices and relationships. It is in
acknowledging our own wounds and taking the courageous
steps to heal that we can find the strength to embrace a love
that truly nourishes our souls.
 1. Healing
So, if you find yourself on a similar journey as me, please
know that you are not alone. Your experiences are valid, and
there is hope for healing and growth. By nurturing your inner
child and facing your shadows, you too can uncover the love
and happiness that you deserve.

Podcasts I listened to that help spark the idea:

1.Working with Shadow

2, Call in your dream partner

3. Navigating relationships and self worth

Course I did to help heal my inner child*:

Unblocked Inner Child
Unblock Shadow

Journal questions to help:

1. What was I brought up to value in my family? How are my own values different?
2. What’s the ugliest part of myself? What would happen if someone caught a
glimpse?
3. What events in my life have hurt me the most? What reminds me of these times?
What parts of me remain there?
4. If you were sitting in front of your child-self right now, what would you say to
them? How would you treat them? What do they look like? How to you view
them? Does this affect how you look at yourself now as an adult?
5. What are two affirmations you wish you could have told yourself as a child?
How would repeating them now make you feel?

This stage can take time, so be gentle, kind and patient with
yourself at all ages of life you heal.
*Please note that the podcast mentioned in the previous response is provided solely as a reference and source of inspiration. I want to clarify that I am
not affiliated with any specific links or resources mentioned. I do not receive any commission from them, nor do they have any knowledge of me. If
you choose to explore any external sources, it is important to exercise caution and pay at your own risk.
2. Journaling
As journal suggestions have already started to flow, its
important I touch on the importance of journaling in the
manifestation process. For those who’ve never explored the
power of journaling before, get ready for a beautiful
experience. For me, journaling became an extension of my
journey, taking on a life of its own. As the healing timeline
is different for everyone, once I personally felt I was in a
more stable headspace, two journal prompts became my
reality:

1. I imagined a future day and vividly described it in my

journal, using the present tense. I wrote about coming
home from my fulfilling job (that I did not have at the
time) and eagerly anticipating my partner's( that I also
did not have at the time) return. I let my imagination
soar describing the things I smelt and touched, painting
as detailed of a picture that I could of all the emotions
and experiences I desired. I did this only once too
because I felt once was all I needed to capture it all.
This day ended up coming into fruition shortly after
meeting my dream partner.

2 . I created a comprehensive list of how I wanted my

dream partner to make me feel. I also identified deal
breakers. For example, I wrote, "I want to feel safe and
cherished with him”, "I want to belly laugh all the time
with him.”, and “ I want to feel protected”
2. Journaling
What I didn't do:
-Write physical characteristics down of what I wanted him
to look like. When you start to do that, you restrict the
possibilities.
-Be vague in my journaling. Your journal is one of the few
places where you want to be as detailed as possible. Every
emotion, fear, wants should be written about. Make
everything as clear as possible.
.
These journaling practices enabled me to tap into my
desires, dreams, and aspirations, and they can do the same
for you. They also became a set of standards of what I
would now accept while dating and almost became my
baseline. Although I was swiping online when manifesting,
whenever a guy made me feel the opposite of something I
wrote down, I would stop messaging them. That list was
guiding me to my my person and I was following it!

It’s important to note that outside of the list, I also kept a

gratitude journal. Every day I would write something I was
thankful for. Gratitude raises your vibrations in beautiful
ways to call in the partner you desire.

Remember, journaling is a personal and introspective

process, so make it your own. Let your words flow, and be
open to the transformative power of putting your dreams
and aspirations into writing
3. Visualizing
Earlier, I discussed the fascinating interplay between the
conscious and the subconscious. Now, let's dive into their
pivotal roles in the manifestation process.
The subconscious mind is a complex and mysterious force
that silently guides our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
Despite its profound influence on our lives, it operates in
the shadows of our conscious awareness.
During visualization, we engage with this enigmatic
subconscious aspect, working to persuade it to believe in a
life/day/moment we've yet to experience. It may seem
far-fetched, but it's an essential part of the journey. We
harness the power of our subconscious to transform our
dreams into reality.

Visualising involves imagining what life would look like

once your partner is around. How would you feel? What
would you? Doing this before you fall asleep and early
when you wake up can be so powerful in manifesting your
dream partner. I did this every night when falling asleep
months before actually living it out with my now partner.

Allow me to share that whimsical yet powerful experience

from my own life while visualising—a testament to the
incredible capabilities of our subconscious mind.
3. Visualizing
Each night, I fell asleep envisioning a scene in Dublin:
strolling down a lively street adorned with Christmas
lights, holding hands with a mystery man. I never
visualised his face, but rather focused on the warmth of
our connection and the joy in my heart.

On our third date, I found myself walking hand in hand

with the very man I had dreamt about. The Christmas
lights were turned on for the first time for the season that
night and they twinkled above us, as if the universe had
orchestrated the scene I had imagined so vividly.

I hadn’t even realised it in the moment. It wasn’t until I

watched it back, as this date also ended up on the news,
was I able to connect it all. My mind finally caught up to
my reality.

As you embark on your own journey in visualizing, trust in

the power of your subconscious. Embrace this whimsical
practice and let your dreams guide you. Stay open to
delightful surprises that may unfold along the way.
4. Affirming
Words possess incredible influence, especially when they
reach or live in our subconscious mind. Affirmations for
manifestation serve as a way to reshape our thinking.
They slowly infiltrate our thoughts, evoke genuine
emotions, and eventually inspire us to take actions that
lead to a brighter future. This process involves repeating
certain statements until they become an integral part of
our subconscious, transforming them into our new reality.

Choosing the right affirmation is deeply personal,

something only you can truly gauge. In my own pursuit of
manifesting a partner, I held on to three affirmations like
cherished mantras that echoed throughout my apartment
every morning: and they were:
1. "I am loved, loving, and loveable."
2. "I am completely worthy, whole, and capable of
attracting the love I seek."
3. "I have the ability to heal from my past wounds."

As you recite these affirmations or your very own, it's

important to genuinely believe in their truth. Look at
yourself in the mirror, deep into your own eyes, and repeat
them with heartfelt conviction. Scatter sticky notes
throughout your living space to serve as gentle reminders.
There's no limit to how often you can affirm your desires.
Embrace the life, the partner, and the love you long for,
and witness as things start to shift to respond to your
heartfelt intentions
5. Expanding
Back in my childhood days, my grandma used to share a
valuable lesson: "You are the company you keep." It's
something that has stuck with me throughout life, and I've
come to realize it applies to our subconscious as well.

I was eager to find that special someone, and I believed that

surrounding myself with positive influences could help me
manifest my ideal relationship. So, I started seeking out TV
shows, YouTube videos, and podcasts featuring couples I
admired and aspired to be like. I figured my brain needed to
see that such a relationship was possible.I found myself
spending a lot of time with my brother and his wife. I stayed
with them for long periods of time. Asking them many
questions and ultimately enjoying their company.
It's funny how it worked. As I intentionally immersed myself
in these inspiring stories, I could feel my own energy leveling
up. It's almost like I was mentally preparing myself for the
future, imagining those delightful double dates or cozy
Netflix nights with my dream partner.
The people I spent time with played a significant role too. I
realized that expanding my social circles and investing more
time with couples I already knew allowed me to learn from
their dynamics and shared experiences. I began calling them
"expanders" - they were like mirrors, reminding me of the
kind of partner I wanted to attract.
5. Expanding
This tied in with visualising, makes great impact on your
subconscious and convincing your mind that you're already
living the life you desire. As I embraced this mindset, I
noticed things shifting in a positive direction. It was like the
universe was aligning itself to bring my dream partner closer
to me.

So, why don't you try this out? Jot down a few people in your
life who could be great "expanders" for the love you want and
spend more time with them. And hey, let's not forget about
those celebrity couples we admire. Watching videos
featuring them can also reinforce that sense of possibility.
Remember, it's not about pretending or faking it; it's about
genuinely believing that you're already on the path to what
you desire. Your brain just needs a little time to catch up to
this reality. The more you embrace the idea that you deserve
a loving and fulfilling relationship, the faster your partner
could come into your life.
6. Passing the Tests
In the grand tapestry of life, it often seems that the greatest
rewards come only after we have been tested, proving our
worthiness to claim the prize. No less is to be expected with
manifesting your dream partner. In order to do this
successfully you have to align your actions while dating to
trick your subconscious of what's coming. My own journey
unfolded with three pivotal tests, each challenging me in its
own unique way:

Firstly, I had to summon the courage to let go completely of

the past. It wasn't just about releasing the people who no
longer served my growth; it was about relinquishing the hope
that clung to them. Even if they were to resurface, offering a
chance to reconnect, I had to find the strength to say no if
they couldn't meet my expectations. It was a test of
detachment, an exercise in prioritising my own well-being
above the allure of familiarity. Think for yourself. If you are
currently messaging someone you know there isn't a future
with, or holding on hope for someone else. Are you ready to
let them go?

The second test demanded unwavering conviction in my own

standards. I knew deep within that I deserved nothing less
than a love that met my fullest potential. So, when faced with
opportunities that fell short of the mark or the list of
expectations I wrote while journaling, I had to stand strong
and say no. Even if someone was willing to offer me 99% of
what I desired, I recognized that settling for anything less
than 100% would only hinder my growth and fulfilment.
6. Passing the Tests
Perhaps the most challenging test was conquering self-
doubt. Throughout my journey, there were moments when
doubts would creep in, causing me to question my own
worthiness. I had been a bridesmaid 4 times at that point and
it was easy to ask “ Whats wrong with me? Why don’t guys
like me?” But I kept having to remember that my value was
not determined by the way others chose to treat me. I had to
embrace the unshakeable belief that I am inherently worthy
of the love I truly deserve, regardless of external
circumstances or the actions of others.

Only after passing these transformative tests, I was able to

step into the final stage of my journey—a stage where I could
fully embrace the possibilities that awaited me. It was a
culmination of strength, self-assuredness, and a deep
understanding of my own worth. And from this vantage
point, I was ready to embark on the next chapter of my life,
open to the infinite potential of love and fulfilment that lay
ahead.
7. Acceptance
This step is undeniably challenging yet profoundly
significant. Once you've gone through the healing
process, you’ve journaled your expectations and
visualised your dream partner and some beautiful
moments to come, it's crucial to accept a couple of
truths:

Firstly, they are coming to you as fast as they can,

making their way into your life in their own divine
timing.

Secondly, it's essential to come to terms with the

possibility that they may not exist out there in the
world, and that's perfectly okay.

I understand that the second truth can be difficult to

digest. I vividly recall the moments when I grappled
with the fear of being alone forever because it seemed
impossible for anyone to meet the standards and
desires I had listed. However, I held onto the belief
that what I wanted and deserved was worth waiting
for.

In that space of self-love and unwavering faith, I

found a sense of contentment. It was a beautiful place
to reside, embracing the notion that even if my dream
partner had not yet appeared, I was complete within
myself.
7. Acceptance
I remember buying myself flowers on multiple
occasions and taking myself out on so many solo
dates. I was enjoying my own company and knowing
if/when my person gets to me, he will fit right into
the standards I already have for myself. I encourage
you to do the same. Do the things you are saving to
do with someone or “the one.”In most cases, we are
the someone, we are the true loves of our lives.

This stage was incredible tough but inspiring to move

through. It taught me the importance of surrendering
to the unknown, trusting that the universe had a plan
in motion. It was a lesson in finding peace and
fulfilment in the present moment, regardless of
external circumstances. So, my dear friend, as you
embark on this journey, remember to hold onto self-
love and cultivate blind faith. Embrace the beauty of
contentment, knowing that your dream partner may
be on their way or that your own inner wholeness is a
remarkable destination in itself.
 Thank you for going on this journey with me.
I want to highlight that individual results and experiences can be wonderfully diverse. While the
journey and approach outlined in this guide have been a source of great personal success and
fulfilment for me, I firmly believe that they can be a valuable resource for others as well. It's important
to keep in mind that these steps are not a one-size-fits-all solution, and the outcomes and timelines
may vary for each individual. Every person's circumstances and healing journey are wonderfully
unique, which makes it essential to understand that personalised approaches are key. I'm here to offer
support and encouragement, but I also want to stress that I cannot be held responsible if someone
doesn't achieve their exact desired outcome or timeline. It's all part of the beautiful, subjective nature
of personal growth and healing. So, with that in mind, let's continue on this incredible journey of
manifesting!

Thank you again