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21 Alarming Symptoms of Bad Parenting and 7 Steps to Correct Them

ByRebecca b - January 3, 2024

Navigating the complex journey of parenthood can be challenging, and even the most well-intentioned
actions can sometimes lead to negative outcomes for our children. The environment we create at home
plays a pivotal role in shaping our little ones’ futures. Often, it’s not just about the child’s behavior but
about the parenting approaches that might inadvertently impact their emotional and psychological well-
being.

This comprehensive guide delves deep into the subtle yet significant indicators of what might constitute
bad parenting. We also offer you insightful and actionable tips to pivot toward more positive and
nurturing parenting methods. Understanding the nuances of parental influence is key, and this article
aims to equip you with the knowledge and strategies to foster a supportive, loving, and growth-oriented
home environment. Let’s embark on this transformative journey together, reshaping the parenting
narrative and empowering you to be your best parent.

–The Critical Signs Of Bad Parenting–

1. There is always a comparison to someone else

Frequent comparisons of your child to others, be it a sibling or a neighbor’s child, can be harmful to their
self-esteem and sense of identity. While presenting positive role models is beneficial, constant
comparison creates an unhealthy competitive atmosphere, making the child feel inadequate and
undervalued.

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Recognizing and celebrating your child’s unique qualities and achievements is important in fostering an
environment where they can thrive on their own merits and not in the shadow of others.

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2. You scold, punish and hit the child in front of everyone

Disciplining a child is a sensitive aspect of parenting, but doing so publicly, in front of relatives or
strangers, can have lasting negative effects. This approach, mainly when it includes physical reprimands,
embarrasses the child and hinders their self-esteem and trust in you.

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Children’s minds are impressionable; they require understanding and a safe space to learn from their
mistakes. It’s crucial to handle such situations with discretion and empathy.

3. More advice, less encouragement

While advice is a necessary part of parenting, over-focusing on what a child should do rather than
encouraging what they can do can be stifling. Phrases like “You should wake up early for better grades”
may seem constructive but can come across as critical.

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In contrast, encouragement like “You’re intelligent and capable; let’s find a way to make early mornings
more manageable for better grades” fosters a positive and supportive environment. Balancing guidance
with motivation is vital to cultivating a child’s self-confidence and independent thinking.
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4. Imposing excessively harsh punishments

Using overly harsh punishments, like isolation or withholding essentials, can deeply damage a child’s
psyche, leading to fear, anxiety, and future trust issues. Such punitive actions disrupt a child’s sense of
security and self-worth, making them feel undeserving of unconditional love.

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This approach often backfires, increasing misbehavior as children seek emotional safety elsewhere.
Punishments should be proportionate and aim to teach, not instill fear. A constructive discipline strategy
fosters an environment of understanding and growth, allowing children to learn from their mistakes
within a framework of support and love, thereby nurturing their emotional and psychological
development.

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5. Not displaying adequate affection

A lack of visible affection and emotional support can leave a child feeling disconnected and seeking
attention through misbehavior. Children often act out not because they want to be troublesome but
because they crave an emotional bond with their parents.

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Showing love, warmth, and interest in your child’s life is vital. Small gestures of affection and quality
time spent together can significantly enhance your child’s sense of security and belonging.

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6. Not setting rules and boundaries

Failing to set consistent rules and boundaries can leave children feeling insecure and confused about
what is expected of them. Inconsistency in parenting can stem from alternating between excessive
leniency and unwarranted strictness, making it difficult for children to develop self-discipline and
understand the consequences of their actions.

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Establishing clear, fair rules and consistently enforcing them helps children learn responsibility, respect
for others, and the ability to navigate social norms. It also provides a sense of structure and safety,
which is essential for healthy emotional and social development.

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7. Not supportive when he needs you the most

One of the keystones of parenting is being present and supportive during critical times in your child’s
life, such as school exams or other significant events. Prioritizing work or other commitments over these
moments can make the child feel overlooked and unimportant.

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This inconsistency in support can affect their emotional and mental well-being. It’s essential to show
your child they are a priority and that you are there for them, especially when they need you the most.
This reinforces a sense of security and helps build a stronger, more trusting relationship.

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8. Not respecting privacy

Infringing on a child’s privacy without just cause can damage the trust between parent and child, leading
to secrecy and withdrawal. While supervision is necessary for safety and guidance, teenagers, in
particular, need a degree of privacy as part of their development toward independence.

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Parents should balance oversight with respect for their child’s need for private space and autonomy.
Open communication about boundaries and trust can help maintain a healthy relationship, allowing
children to feel secure in confiding in their parents.

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9. The child is reprimanded even if he spoke the truth

When a child musters the courage to admit wrongdoing, it’s a significant step in their development.
However, if, as a parent, you respond with reprimands rather than recognizing their honesty, it can be
detrimental.

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Acknowledging the truth should be encouraged, even in the face of a mistake. This is pivotal for
nurturing a sense of integrity and trustworthiness in your child. Remember, the goal is to teach them the
value of honesty, not to instill fear in their actions.

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10. Never proud of the achievements

When a child brings home news of a triumph, their pride and excitement are palpable. However, if these
achievements are met with indifference or a lack of enthusiasm from a parent, it can be incredibly
disheartening.

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Celebrating even small victories is crucial in building a child’s confidence and sense of self-worth.
Acknowledging and sharing in their joy strengthens your bond and encourages them to pursue further
successes.

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11. Undermining the Other Parent

Consistently undermining or criticizing the other parent in front of the child can lead to confusion, guilt,
and divided loyalties. This behavior not only damages the child’s relationship with both parents but also
models disrespect and poor conflict resolution skills.

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Co-parenting with a unified approach, maintaining respect for each other, and resolving disagreements
in private are essential for providing a supportive family environment. It teaches children the
importance of respect, cooperation, and healthy communication in relationships.

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12. Always having a criticizing tone

A critical attitude towards everything a child does can severely impact their willingness to try new things
and their belief in their abilities. While constructive feedback is necessary, there is a significant
difference between helpful guidance and constant disapproval.

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Creating a balance where the child feels supported and valued rather than consistently undermined is
essential. Celebrate their efforts and guide them gently to improve rather than solely focusing on
criticism.

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13. Make no effort to understand and respect the feelings

While imparting knowledge and values is a key part of parenting, listening to and valuing your child’s
perspectives and emotions is equally important. Dismissing their thoughts as trivial or irrelevant sends a
message that their feelings are unimportant.

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This can lead to communication barriers and a lack of emotional intimacy. Understanding and respecting
your child’s views fosters mutual respect and a deeper, more meaningful relationship.

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14. Not showing the right way of doing things

Parenting involves more than just verbal instruction; it’s about actively guiding and participating in your
child’s learning journey. Merely showing the path isn’t enough; walking alongside them is crucial,
especially during the early stages of any new endeavor.

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This hands-on approach teaches practical skills and shows your commitment and support, helping the
child feel secure and confident in their endeavors. Remember, actions often speak louder than words in
the realm of effective parenting.

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15. Overlooking the Need for Downtime

Failing to appreciate the significance of unstructured downtime while simultaneously overscheduling a

child’s day with structured activities can lead to stress, burnout, and diminished mental health.
Downtime is vital for a child’s emotional well-being, providing a chance to relax, reflect, and engage in
spontaneous play. This balance is crucial for nurturing independence, creativity, and a sense of self.

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Conversely, an overloaded schedule can deprive children of the freedom to explore personal interests at
their own pace. Parents should strive to strike a healthy equilibrium, allowing children sufficient rest and
leisure alongside structured engagements, ensuring they have the space to grow both intellectually and
emotionally without the pressures of a constantly managed agenda.

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16. Setting poor examples

Children are like sponges, absorbing behaviors and habits from their surroundings, especially their
parents. If your child exhibits inappropriate behavior, it’s a moment to reflect on your own actions.
Often, children mirror the conduct they observe at home.

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Parents must be mindful of their actions and set positive examples. Good parenting involves teaching by
example, as children are more likely to emulate what they see rather than what they are told.

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17. The child is never offered a choice

When parents make all decisions for their children, from academic choices to daily attire, it can lead to a
lack of independence and autonomy in the child. Children might feel constrained and rebel or act out by
not offering them choices, sometimes even resorting to taking things without permission.

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Encouraging decision-making skills by giving them age-appropriate choices is important, thereby
promoting a sense of responsibility and self-confidence.

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18. Pampering to the point the child becomes arrogant

While showering your child with love and material comforts is natural, excessive pampering can lead to
negative traits like arrogance and entitlement. Overindulged children often struggle to appreciate the
value of things and may take privileges for granted.

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It’s essential to balance affection with discipline, teaching them gratitude and empathy. This approach
helps in nurturing well-rounded individuals who respect themselves and others.

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19. Help solve even the smallest problems

Helping your child is important, but constant interference in solving their problems, no matter how
small, can hinder their development. This overprotectiveness can lead to low self-confidence and poor
problem-solving skills.

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Encouraging children to face challenges and find solutions independently, with guidance when
necessary, fosters independence and resilience. It’s about giving them the tools to handle situations, not
handling every situation for them.
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20. Physically intimidate the child

Using physical intimidation as a disciplinary method can have profound adverse effects on a child’s
mental and physical well-being. This approach instills fear rather than respect and can lead to long-term
psychological issues.

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It’s vital to employ positive discipline strategies focusing on teaching and guiding rather than controlling
through fear. Creating a safe and nurturing environment is key to healthy emotional and social
development.

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21. Giving short, grumpy answers

A child’s approach to a parent is often filled with curiosity and a desire for understanding. When a
parent consistently responds with short, grumpy answers, the child feels bewildered and deeply
disappointed. This behavior can create a barrier in communication, as the child might start to feel
hesitant to approach their parent for guidance or support.

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Over time, this can lead to a breakdown in the parent-child relationship, as the child may seek
understanding and comfort elsewhere. It’s imperative for parents to be approachable and to
communicate in a way that is nurturing, offering wisdom and comfort that the child seeks.

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–The Impact of Bad Parenting–

Lack of empathy towards others

When children are treated with indifference or harshness at home, they often adopt these behaviors in
their interactions. This lack of empathy is not just confined to childhood but can extend into adult life,
affecting their ability to form healthy relationships. Children learn to empathize by observing and
experiencing empathy themselves.

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When this is absent in their formative years, it hinders their ability to understand and share the feelings
of others, which is critical for successful social interactions and personal relationships.

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Have trouble establishing lasting friendships and relationships

Children raised in environments lacking emotional warmth or under strict, authoritarian regimes may
develop low self-esteem and exhibit abrasive behaviors, which can severely impact their ability to form
lasting friendships and relationships.

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This often stems from an inability to trust and connect with others, a skill typically nurtured in a loving
home environment. Additionally, such children might struggle with emotional regulation, making it
challenging to engage in social settings effectively, further complicating their social and emotional
development.
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Development of anxiety and depression

Exposure to negative parenting practices during childhood has been linked to a heightened risk of
developing anxiety and depression later in life. The roots of these mental health issues often lie in
feelings of insecurity, low self-worth, and the absence of a supportive familial foundation during the
developmental years.

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This can lead to a cycle where the individual may struggle with these issues into adulthood and
potentially replicate similar parenting styles, perpetuating the cycle of ineffective parenting.

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Psychological disorders

In extreme cases of poor parenting, children may develop severe mental health disorders, including
chronic depression, anxiety disorders, and other psychological issues. These disorders may be deeply
ingrained, requiring extensive therapy and support to manage or overcome.

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The implications of such mental health challenges are far-reaching, affecting the child’s ability to
function effectively in society, establish meaningful relationships, and achieve personal goals. The
likelihood of becoming socially isolated or ostracized increases, further diminishing their chances of
leading a fulfilling and integrated life in society.
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Point to remember

It’s important to dispel the myth that bad parenting leads to autism. Autism is a neurodevelopmental
condition and not a result of parenting style or behavior. Children with autism require a distinct
approach to parenting, one that is understanding and adapted to their unique needs.

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The misconception that poor parenting causes autism can lead to unnecessary guilt and stigma for
parents, and it overlooks the importance of providing appropriate support and understanding for
autistic children.

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Criminal behavior

The use of corporal punishment by some parents, under the belief that it’s an effective way to discipline
‘naughty’ children, can have serious repercussions. When physical punishment is regularly employed, it
can instill in the child that physical aggression is an acceptable response to conflicts or issues.

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This belief can evolve into a propensity for violent or criminal behavior in adulthood, as the child may
not have learned healthier, more constructive ways of dealing with problems.

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–How To Be A Better Parent in 7 Steps–

Have hands-on involvement in parenting

Effective parenting goes beyond just providing for a child’s physical needs; it involves emotional
engagement and teaching valuable life lessons. Strive to build a relationship that balances control and
love, ensuring a nurturing environment for the child’s well-being.

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Being actively involved in your child’s life, understanding their needs, and guiding them through life’s
challenges are critical aspects of hands-on parenting.

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Look To Improve Yourself First

Reflecting on our parenting is crucial, especially when addressing our children’s behavior. Children often
mirror the environment and influence around them, including their parents’ actions and attitudes.
Recognizing this, it’s important for us as parents to self-assess for any negative behaviors or patterns we
might inadvertently be passing on.

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Are we displaying aggression, impatience, or neglect? Do we communicate effectively and with

empathy? Acknowledging these traits in ourselves and actively working to improve them can
significantly impact our children’s behavior. Remember, effective parenting involves continuous learning
and self-improvement, shaping a healthier environment for our children’s growth and development.

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Refrain from yelling and striking the child

Dealing with children’s misbehavior can be challenging, and it’s easy to lose patience and resort to
yelling or physical discipline. However, these actions can be harmful and leave lasting negative
impressions on the child.

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Instead, aim for more constructive methods of discipline. For example, if a child breaks a sibling’s toy,
explain the consequences of such actions, like taking away a favorite toy, until they apologize and
understand why their behavior was wrong. This approach teaches responsibility and empathy without
resorting to fear or aggression.

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Give reasons for your instructions

Children are naturally curious and often do not understand the rationale behind specific instructions.
Simply commanding a child to follow rules without explanation, like “Sleep on time,” can lead to
resistance.

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Parents need to communicate the reasons behind their rules in a way that children can understand. This
helps the child grasp the importance of the instruction and fosters a sense of respect and understanding
between the parent and child.

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Set rules after discussion

Engaging your child in the process of setting new rules is a crucial aspect of effective parenting. This
involves having a discussion with your child before implementing any new guidelines. Involving them in
decision-making makes them feel valued and boosts their self-esteem.
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It also encourages them to take ownership of their actions and think twice before violating the rules.
Such discussions help foster a sense of responsibility and mutual respect between parent and child.

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Let the child have some choice

Giving your child a say in decisions that affect them, especially during adolescence, is important for their
development. Asking for their opinion, rather than unilaterally deciding for them, can prevent feelings of
irritation and helplessness.

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For instance, discussing changes in their tuition or other activities and asking for their input can
effectively teach decision-making skills. This approach involves them in important choices and
introduces the concept of responsibility.

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Listen when he says something

Listening attentively to your child, whether sharing mundane details of their day or achievements, is
integral to good parenting. Dismissing their stories or postponing the conversation can be disheartening
for a child. It’s important to show them that their thoughts and feelings are valued.

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You’re fostering a trusting and open relationship by listening and responding with interest. Additionally,
appreciating honesty and truthfulness in your child encourages these virtues.

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Set good examples

Leading by example is one of the most effective ways to teach children. When parents practice what
they preach, children are likelier to follow suit. Demonstrating positive behavior, such as healthy habits,
honesty, and empathy, sets a powerful example for children to emulate.

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This approach is much more effective than mere verbal instructions, as children tend to model their
behavior on what they see in their parents. Thus, being a role model in action and values is essential for
shaping the character and habits of your child.

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–Frequently Asked Questions–

What are the causes of bad parenting?

Bad parenting can stem from a variety of factors. These include parental substance, egoism, lack of
education, having an unplanned child, or the inability to fulfill career aspirations.

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Marital problems, workplace stress, and financial difficulties can also contribute. These factors can
impair a parent’s ability to provide the nurturing and supportive environment crucial for a child’s
development.
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What are the biggest parenting mistakes?

Parents can make mistakes both knowingly and unknowingly. Common errors include being overly strict,
inhibiting the child’s ability to express themselves or explore, taking children for granted, neglecting
them emotionally, and being excessively possessive.

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Recognizing and acknowledging these behaviors is the first step toward change. Parents should strive to
avoid these pitfalls to ensure their children’s healthy emotional and psychological development.

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How can society help prevent bad parenting?

Society can help prevent bad parenting through various measures. These include offering parenting
education and support programs, making mental health resources more accessible to parents,
establishing social safety nets, encouraging community engagement, and promoting public awareness
about positive parenting practices.

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Such societal support structures can help create an environment that supports parents and ensures
children’s well-being.

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How can a child overcome the effects of bad parenting?

A child affected by bad parenting can seek solace and healing through the support of trusted adults,
friends, and loved ones. Engaging in therapy and counseling, focusing on education and personal
growth, and finding a nurturing community environment are crucial steps in the healing process.

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Building a solid support network can significantly aid in overcoming the emotional and psychological
impact of bad parenting.

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Can bad parenting result from a lack of parental education or support?

A deficiency in parental education can lead to a lack of understanding about child development and
effective parenting techniques. Additionally, a lack of support systems, such as from partners, family,
friends, or community resources, can leave parents feeling isolated and overwhelmed.

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This combination can significantly impact a parent’s confidence and effectiveness, potentially leading to
negative parenting practices. Providing education and support to parents is essential for fostering a
healthy family environment.

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