Dog Humor #6: Doggie Dictionary

* Leash: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your
person where you want him/her to go.
*
* Dog Bed: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the
guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
*
* Drool: A liquid which, when combined with sad eyes, forces humans to
give you their food. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and get
the drool on the human.
*
* Sniff: A social custom used to greet other dogs, similar to the human
exchange of business cards.
*
* Garbage Can: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to
test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off
with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to
shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.
*
* Bicycles: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control
body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out,
bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls
into the bushes, and you prance away.
*
* Deafness: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants
them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person,
then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
*
* Thunder: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans
remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the
danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and
following at their heels.
*
* Wastebasket: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old
candy wrappers. It is important to evenly distribute its contents throughout the
house before your person comes home.
*
* Bath: If you find something especially good to roll in, humans get
jealous and use this degrading form of torture to get even. Be sure to shake only
when next to a person or a piece of furniture.
*
* Lean: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking
a fresh cup of coffee or tea.
*
* Children: Short humans of optimal petting height. Standing close to one
assures some good petting. When running they are good to chase. If they fall down,
they are comfortable to sit on.
* 🐾Love: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The
best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will
love you in return.

Go on, ask a dog how’s life.

🥦
Dogs are the best alarm clocks.
-
When they want out, there’s no snooze button that could tame that.
🐶
Here are 100 fascinating and interesting facts about dogs that you probably never
knew. They’re not listed in any particular order.

1. Dogs have sweat glands at the bottom of their paws (the paw pads). Hence,
wetting their paws can help on a hot summer day.

2. When dogs howl at each other, they adjust the pitch of the howl to sound more
unique.
3. In the dark, dogs use their whiskers to pick up subtle changes in the air
currents. This gives them a better understanding of the environment and helps them
“see” better in the dark.
4. Despite popular belief, dogs don’t only see in black and white. In fact, they
can see in blue, green, yellow and gray too.
5. A dog’s nose is always wet because they help in absorbing certain scents.
Furthermore, a dog will lick the nose to taste the scent.
6. The urine of a dog is acidic enough to corrode even metal. So, don’t let them
urinate on valuable things.
7. A dog can sense the earth’s magnetic field. It’s a big reason they’re so
effective at finding their way home.
8. The dog’s nose print is so unique and detailed that it can be used to identify
specific dogs. It’s like our fingerprint.
9. They’ve been a “man’s best friend” since over 33,000 years ago, when they were
first became domesticated by hunter and gatherers.
10. It’s estimated that roughly 21% of all dogs snore in their sleep.
11. During the Vietnam War, over 4,500 military dogs were sent to help aid the U.S.
troops. Unfortunately, only about 200 of them survived. Dogs are friends and
heroes.

12. According to a 2017 survey, the most popular male dog name is Max. On the flip
side, the most popular female dog name is Bella.
13. Dogs can produce like wildfire. A female and male dog, along with their
offspring, can produce 67,000 dogs in just 6 years – assuming they haven’t been
spayed or neutered.
14. All dog breeds are descendants of wolves and related to a certain degree.
15. When dogs poop, they align themselves with the earth’s magnetic field.
Specifically, with the north-south axis.
16. There are roughly 900 million dogs in the world. That’s about one dog for every
8 people on earth! However, two-thirds of these dogs are stray dogs.
17. Most dogs have paws that smell like corn chips – a phenomenon dubbed “frito
feet.” This happens because of build-up sweat and bacteria on the paws.
18. The United States has the most dogs – home to nearly 76 million dogs. Brazil
comes in second, followed by China.
19. The Russians trained dogs to go on suicide missions during World War II. They
would strap bombs on their backs and have them run into front lines of enemy
troops.
20. The popular phrase, “raining cats and dogs” originated from England in the 17th
century. It was believed that many cats and dogs died during these heavy storms.

21. Dogs are capable of sensing drops in barometric pressure and shifts in static
electricity field, which allows them to spot an approaching storm.
22. The average dog can run at the speed of 19 MPH (miles per hour).
23. Kublai Khan of the Mongol Empire owned 5,000 Mastiff dogs at one point.
Unsurprisingly, this is the most dogs owned by a single person.
24. A dog is able to locate the source of a sound in 6/100th of a second.
Dogs vs. Humans (Facts)
<img src="https://thesmartcanine.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/dogs-vs-humans-
facts.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-7124" width="690"
srcset="https://thesmartcanine.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/dogs-vs-humans-
facts.jpg 640w, https://thesmartcanine.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/dogs-vs-
humans-facts-300x200.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" />
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25. The average dog is as smart as the average 2-year old toddler. Additionally,
they understand roughly the same amount of words and/or gesture (250).
26. Depending on the breed, a dog’s sense of smell is 1,000 to 10 million times
better than a human’s.

27. On average, a one year old puppy is as physically mature as an adolescent teen.
However, large dogs age faster than small dogs.
28. The normal temperature of a dog is between 101 and 102.5 degrees Fahrenheit,
which would be “fever temperature” for humans.
29. Dogs and humans release the same “love hormone,” called oxytocin. It explains
why we develop such strong bonds with our canine friends.
30. Like humans, dogs show Rapid Eye Movement (REM) in their sleep and can
experiences dreams too.
31. Amazingly, dogs have twice as many ear muscles as humans and can hear four
times better too.
32. While humans have two eyelids, dogs have three. The “nictitating membrane,”
often called the “haw,” helps keep the dog’s eyes lubricated.
33. Dogs and humans have similarly structured brains. In fact, the same part of our
brain lights up when exposed to certain stimuli.
Dog Psychology Facts
<img src="https://thesmartcanine.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/do-golden-
retrievers-bite.jpg" alt="Golden Retrievers will bite, just like almost any other
dog, but they are not vicious biters and mishaps are rare." class="wp-image-6784"
width="690" srcset="https://thesmartcanine.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/do-
golden-retrievers-bite.jpg 640w,
https://thesmartcanine.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/do-golden-retrievers-bite-
300x190.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" />
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34. A male dog will usually prefer playing with a female dog. On the other hand, a
female dog does not discriminate between sexes. Scientists believe this evolved
from a dog mother’s need of taking care of both sexes.
35. According to a study from the University of Vienna, dogs in general, prefer men
over women. And especially with neurotic and/or anxious men.
36. Wagging the tail doesn’t always mean “happy.” For example, dogs will wag their
tails to the right when happy, to the left when scared and wag it low when
insecure.
37. A dog is four times more likely to exhibit aggressive behavior when
consistently walked by a male. Researchers believe they’re able to pick up emotions
and aggression from the handler during walks.
38. Dogs like to curl up because of inherent instincts to protect their vital
organs and keep warm while asleep.
39. All dogs understand the power of barking, as it usually elicits a response from
the owner – positive or negative. They bark to grab your attention and to try to
make something happen.
40. Dogs can feel jealously, but they can’t feel guilt. Don’t believe those
“guilty-looking” puppy eyes!

41. It’s a lot easier training a puppy if there’s an older dog in the house. This
is because puppies do a great job modeling behavior of other dogs.
42. Male dogs raise their legs when urinating because they want to leave their mark
as high as possible. This gives the impression that they are tall, thus
intimidating.
Crazy Dog Laws
<img src="https://thesmartcanine.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/are-german-
shepherds-dangerous.jpg" alt="German Shepherds are not dangerous dogs if properly
trained and socialized." class="wp-image-7012" width="690"
srcset="https://thesmartcanine.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/are-german-shepherds-
dangerous.jpg 635w, https://thesmartcanine.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/are-
german-shepherds-dangerous-300x197.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 635px) 100vw,
635px" />
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43. It’s illegal to own a pet dog in Iran. Those caught may face having 74 lashes
as punishment.
44. In Paulding, Ohio, it’s completely legal for police officers to bite a crazed
barking dog to calm them down. You read right, bite a dog.
45. It is illegal for your dog to bark after 6 PM in Little Rock, Arkansas. Looks
like i’ll never be able to legally live in Little Rock with my dog.
46. In Chicago, it is illegal to give your dog whiskey. For some reason, just
whiskey – not wine, beer or other alcoholic drinks.

47. You may not keep a smelly odor-producing dog in Galesburg, Illinois. They might
as well have just banned all dogs in general.
48. In Springfield, Illinois, you can get fined if your dog barks for 15 minutes
straight. However, they’ll usually wait until the second time around.
49. You are not allowed to give a dog a lighted cigar in Zion, Illinois. Does this
mean cigarettes are okay?
50. Residents of Oklahoma can be fined for making “ugly faces” at dogs. However, it
is completely legal to make these faces at other humans.
51. Also in Oklahoma, dogs must get a permit signed by the mayor to congregate in
groups (of three or more). Even on private property, the permit is still required.
52. It is illegal for residents of Anchorage, Alaska, to tie their dogs to the roof
of a car. Who actually tried this?