Family

Ministries
 THERE’S HOPE MUYAPEKWA
MUBITA

FOR THE SINGLES +260977110816

The Married - the 4Cs
C - Care - Love
C - Consistent - Improve BUT Maintain #Unfulfilled duties
C - Communication - You cannot NOT Comm
#Continue dating yo partner

#Difference in opinions and ideas #Lack of openness #God/Patn

C - Cleave (those who turn their backs on God, later

do on their spouses and loose their grip on all they do -
they become careless) #Be a spiritual giant, cling to God and
He will preserve your marriage.
### Interferences from relatives
 General Note

Gen 2:24
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall
cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

• Man shall leave

• You don’t marry from your mother’s home.
• Cleave unto his wife
• It doesn’t mean you marry her from her parent’s home
• A man
• Marriage between two only, man and a woman, Not
Women, and not Man to man or Woman to woman
 The Singles

Prov 31:10
"Who can find an excellent wife? She
is far more precious than jewels.”
The singles are in different classes. The
following are some of them:

A. Youth still in school

B. Youth with careers (working) – looking
for spouses.
C. Youth who have been disappointed
D. Divorcees
E. Widows / Widowers
F. Adults that have never had a partner
G. Celibates
• Each of the above classes has its own
social and spiritual challenges that need
to be attended to carefully.
• Among these, some may have no
intentions of getting married in life. In
our seminar we shall concentrate more
on those that still look forward to
getting married some day.
9 Traits to be looked for
in a would be Spouse
The following are not a must in a every person
but if found, they make a good indicator of a
potential partner. Before looking for these
traits in a friend, one should examine
him/herself if he/she has the same.
To make it easier for us to remember them,
we shall use the acronym CANDIDATE.
1. C – Competence
Proverbs 31:25, 29

No one would want to have a partner whose

general life performance is always below
average. The would be partner should have at
least some areas of life he/she excels e.g.
Cookery, cleanliness, academics etc.
2. A – Ambitiousness
Proverbs 31:16
Static people are boring. People that have no
plans for improvement in life usually would lead
the family into poverty. There is need to be
paired with someone who has some kind of
dreams about self, the partner to be and the
prospective family.
HAVE SOUND VISION FOR YOUR LIFE*
You are more than a cook and baby factory. You are on earth for a purpose. What is your vision,
what is your mission? What is your reason for existence? Do you want to end up without fulfilling
your purpose on earth all because of marriage? Your marriage should not jeopardize your mission
and vision rather it should contribute towards making them a realization.
3. N – Natural Mannerisms
Proverbs 31:23, 38, 29

Be sure that the mannerisms are well studies and

they be those which you can compromise with
otherwise these may cause serious problems in
marriage.
❑ If he is beating you now, what guarantee do
you have he will not after he marries you,
especially when some think dowry is owning…
4. D – Developmental Skills
Proverbs 31:13, 24
It is expected that when one marries, the status
goes up. It is therefore necessary that one who is
looking for someone to marry asks himself /
herself, “What skills do I have and what skills
does my prospective partner have which will help
improve our economic situation once we are a
couple?” HAVE A SOURCE OF INCOME* If you have no job or business and you are
looking for an ATM man to dump all your financial responsibility on, you will end up a leech (parasitic worm), not a
wife, a sucker, not a giver, a liability, not an asset, a burden not a burden bearer! Get a job!
5. I – Industrious / Hard-work
Proverbs 31:14 - 15

It is natural that people would always want to be

identified with hard workers even when themselves are
lazy. If a lady, is she able to cook, wash clothes, clean the
house without thinking of that as being a form of abuse?
If a young man, is he able to provide for the family, work
in the garden or to do some kind of work without
starving the family?
6. D – Dedication to Religious
Programs
Proverbs 31:20 - 30

If you are a Christian, make sure you get a fellow

Christian who upholds the same values as yours,
otherwise you are planning a marriage headed for a
deadlock. Religious affiliations affect married life for
better or for worse. Remember that we make our
decisions in life in line with our beliefs / values.
7. A – Appearance
Genesis 29:17-20

When people are getting anything valuable, such as a car,

issues of color, shape, size and model are crucial. In like
manner, when looking for a life partner we make sure that
we are satisfied with the complexion, the structure, the age
and other features.
❑ We don’t marry out of pity.
❑ You don’t marry someone you can live with but
someone you can’t live without.
8. T – Temperance
Proverbs 31:26

Self control is a trait that is to be sought for in a

spouse to be. In the absence of self control, morals
are corrupt.
Temperance in dress, language, appetites, finance
management and many other areas is a crucial
element to be found in a life partner.
9. E – Ethical
Proverbs 31:11, 12, 23

Matters of ethics should be taken into

consideration. The question to be answered is
“Does this person I am settling for have the
sense of the right and wrong or he/she just
does things without considering whether
something is acceptable or not?
THE SINGLE &
SELF IMAGE
The Single & Self Image
The Way we view ourselves is the basis from
which we make our choices and react / respond
to situations. Our response to life events is
shaped to a larger extent by who we are and
what we think about ourselves.
The Major task for every person is to develop a
positive self-esteem. Self-worth is the center of
emotional and mental health. It is all about
accepting the YOU.
Dangers of a
Poor Self - Image
1. It limits your capacity to
love and accept others
2.It influences your choice of
dating partners. Usually
people with poor self image
would go for people that
criticize them
3. It may cause you to use
sex to prove to your worth.
4. It may cause you to
tolerate abuse.
5. It may cause you to resist
authority
6. It increases vulnerability
to peer pressure.
7. It hinders spiritual growth
8. It may lead you to drug
abuse.
How to Build
your Self – Image
1. Take inventory of your
strengths (Achievements,
Appearance, Personality,
Talents & Skills, Character
& Spiritual Abilities).
▪ Cooking, Business ability,
Education, Dimple, Farming, God
fearing etc.
2. Rebuild your thought
patterns.
Try the following:
a) I am an attractive person
who will attract the right
person some day.
b) I can smile, be friendly and
talk to others
c) Someday I will have a
boy/girlfriend who will care
about me.
d) Someday I will meet
someone special who will
be interested in me.
e) I am not a product of what
people think, but a product
of what God has designed
about me and that design is
the best for me all my
friends.
3. Develop Admirable Qualities
✓ Replace fear with confidence
✓ Replace ignorance with knowledge
(search for knowledge) #Hygiene,
Education, Business, Marriage, Finance.

✓ Replace laziness with hard work

✓ Replace selfishness with generosity
✓ Replace loneliness with friendliness
etc.
4. Avoid comparing yourself with
others – YOU are UNIQUE:
❑ Exceptional
❑ Irreplaceable
❑ Matchless
❑ One Of Your Own Kind – No
Body Like U, Except YOURSELF
5. Be of service to people.
6. Ask God to make something
beautiful out of your life.
Ps 127:1
“If the LORD does not build a house,
then those who build it work in vain. If
the LORD does not guard a city, then
the watchman stands guard in vain.”
BENEFITS OF SEXUAL
ABSTINENCE BEFORE
MARRIAGE
1. Prevents unnecessary breakups.
Some studies show that twice as
many engagements are broken
among couples who have
intercourse. Such couples are
also more likely to divorce,
separate or commit adultery
after getting married.
Premarital sex destroys trust and proves
that a person is not in control of his desires,
instead one is controlled by them
2. Prevents divorce – Divorce
rates among those who
were sexually active in
their teens run extremely
high (an estimate of 75 –
80%)
3. Prevents cervical cancer –
Semen contains antigens
that sensitize or code the
cervix and may cause
abnormal development when
a girl is exposed to it too
early, too often, and by
multiple sexual partners.
4. Eliminates the risk of
contracting sexually transmitted
infections / diseases (STIs/STDs)

❑ Gonorrhea, Trichomoniasis,
genital warts, syphilis, herps and
HIV/AIDS – these are on the
increase due to sex outside and
before marriage.
5. Improves chances of failing to
distinguish real love from
infatuation
6. Eliminates guilty feelings –
because premarital sex is so
expressly forbidden by God,
cases intense emotional damage.
▪ Guiltiness whenever the subject is
discussed. Need counselling & prayers
7. Eliminates the risk of
pregnancy outside
wedlock and excludes
the need for abortion.
8. Protects the value and
meaning of honeymoon.
9. Prevents much sexual
dysfunction - Premarital sex
makes one develop a negative
attitude towards sex and this
leads to absence of real
orgasm when in marriage. It
may also seriously affect the
erection potential in a man due
to psychological effects
10. Ensures a more perfect
bond in marriage
11.Promotes self-worth.
12.Promotes respect from
society.
If one has already sexually gone too far,
what next?
GOD BLESS YOU
ALL