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    Sky-Daddy Speech No.1

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    tine.boot03

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    © All Rights Reserved
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    Sky-Daddy Speech No.1

    Uploaded by

    tine.boot03
    2 views1 page

    Copyright

    © © All Rights Reserved

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    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as docx, pdf, or txt
    2 views1 page

    Sky-Daddy Speech No.1

    Uploaded by

    tine.boot03

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as docx, pdf, or txt
    You are on page 1of 1

    Scene 1:

    Sky-Daddy: Good evening. I know this might emotional for some of you. A few of you are probably in
    utter disbelief just to be able to look at me, but I am here. I am real.

    (confetti canons)

    Don’t get too excited though, this isn’t the second coming or anything. No…I’m here on a sort of
    short stay visa situation. Wouldn’t want to stay down here for too long. God, no. It’s become a
    complete shithole, no thanks to you…I gave you simple instructions and you INCOMPETANT LOSERS
    couldn’t even follow my Holy word. Which leads me to my reason for being here: Hell is full. There’s
    no space left. Everyone’s in there and My Paradise is vacant. In my…however many years of being
    your Creator, I have never been so disappointed in you, My humble creation. To state that you have
    fucked up, would be the understatement of the century. I am embarrassed by your ignorance and
    pride. And then you have the nerve to stand at your little funerals and say: “Awww Granny’s in a
    better place now.” No she’s not! Your grandma is burning in hell.

    So, anyways…once again, I’ve come to the salvation of those in need. I bring forth a solution to this
    silly willy little problem. Since My words of wisdom have failed to pierce your thick skulls, I will find it
    within My gracious self to forgive your mortal flaws and lead a few strays Upstairs to My Holy Land…
    hopefully.

    (Sky-Daddy asks for an audience member to read out their scedule)

    What’s the schedule for today?

    Audience member: 8 o’ clock meeting with the One Downstairs.

    Sky-Daddy: Ew. Snake.

    Audience member: 9 o’clock Devil’s Lettuce and meditation session, 10:30 brainstorm for your new
    book and 12 is the interviews with the new arrivals.

    Sky-Daddy: Are they all dead yet?

    Audience member: No. Oh and good news! One spot has opened up Downstairs.

    Sky-Daddy: Oh how fun, so Hell’s not that full after all! Well…Furies, I have a blessing for you today!
    It’s a bit different than the ones I usually lay upon you, for the mouth of an adulterous woman is a
    deep pit. Find the ones under My wrath and make them fall into it. Bring your Sky-Daddy those vile
    people who defy Me. Then the games will commence, the fellow who has committed the greatest
    sin against Me shall face a fate of flames and the lucky ones will spend eternity with Me!

    Come on. What are you waiting for? Clean up and get to work. I Can’t be late for my meeting with
    Luci-Fuci!

    (exit Sky-Daddy)

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