Day 1 Email Ready To Live An Outrageous Life?

(hey cmon read anyway youll see what you are missing)

Hey you. Welcome to "my world". Most days, especially on the bad ones, I feel outrageous. Like Im smarter than everyone else. Like I get it and they dont. (Gotta love the ego, right? More on that later). But it wasn't always like this. No way, no how. Rewind 6 months ago and I was ... err ... what MY FAMILY called a rabid hamster. They ran from me. Literally. Avoided me like the plague. Fear and disappointment glaring accusingly from their eyes! What terrified me is when they started becoming indifferent (its the opposite of love). Like they were over it. Me. Over me! I knew I was losing them. Basically I was on an out of control teeter-totter (Ok doesnt sound that scary, but thats the point, youll see why later). When they werent making me feel like I wasnt living up to their expectations, they made me feel I didnt matter. And I felt crazy. Like I was doing nothing right. No matter what I did or how hard I tried (remember the word tried for later). Then I got angry. Really mad. (Thats when the trouble started for real) I couldnt connect to anyone in my life. I was craving love and driving them away at the same time. I felt anxious. Lonely. And a little depressed. I felt as if everyone hated me. But oh how things have changed! Let me ask you this...
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How many times have you caught yourself in a mind trap? Its an endless loop at times. A brutal, assault of thoughts (and sometimes voices) shouting you how you arent good enough. Pointing out how much you suck. You want to know the worst part? Until recently I didnt even know the chatter was there. I was so caught up in my inner critics BS, I didnt even know it was happening! I thought it was ME.) If youre one of the lucky ones, you arent beating your self up. You just hate everyone else. You focus on how others are letting you down. Yet somehow at some level thats your fault too, right? (And its why you feel so depressed, which doesnt feel like a lottery ticket, does it? But you also have an easier solution than those that go full circle trust me, Ill explain soon.) Anyway, I felt like I was going insane. So I tried telling a new approach and started explaining to everyone how hard I was trying. And then I pointed out how if they would just do this then Id do that and wed all be happier. If they would only change, I could change getting us out of this chicken and egg thing we had going on. Can you imagine how that worked out for me? Probably about as well as it has for you. Finally, after playing endless rounds of the blame game with just about everyone in my life, (except for my 2 year old twins, they arent really talking yet - but I could see how they were looking at me LOL) and losing well, I was at the end of my rope. (And trust me, you never want to put baby in the corner.) Finally about 6 months ago, I decided enough was enough. I cried uncle. I was done. With everyone and everything. I decided I would clean house get rid of all the people in my life not serving me. After making my list, there was a small problem, for me at least. Turns out, Id be alone. As I sat trapped in my poop pile of despair, the only attendee to my pity party, with no way out, somehow I
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finally saw something that blew me away. I was shocked. My jaw dropped I had just stumbled across the secret to everything, for everyone! This one magical ah-ha moment changed everything for me and I knew what I had to do Since this email has already run a little long, for right now, lets cut it short but before I do, can you please do yourself a favor for tomorrows email? Start by making what I call your crazy list. A list of every single person in your life who doesnt appreciate you or attacks you or anything that makes you feel bad. (It can be as simple as when I smoke, when I eat ho-hos, when Im a messy pig. You name it write it down this list is for your eyes only so go crazy.) Youll need your crazy list tomorrow, when I show you how to make lemonade out of every one of the lemons in your life. In one fell swoop. Dont believe me? Cool. I like a challenge. Look for an email from me tomorrow. Read it. Then follow my instructions. I triple dog dare you to prove this doesnt work. Outrageously Authentic All Day Everyday (its how I roll), Lori R Taylor P.S. I've attached a short list of everything you need to do to change everything. Its what I used to do. See what you think here. And, oh by the way? Its a complete load of crap but its what everyone else is doing so maybe it will work for you. (Course my mom also used to tell me, If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you? I think she was on to something)

Day 1 Tip

3 Ways I Tried To Change My Life (and failed)

If there was ever a poster child for personal-development-aholics Id be the girl at the podium introducing herself saying, Hi my name is Lori Taylor. Ive been addicted to personal development since 2007 and I have the best intentions to take my life to the next level.
Thats right. Im an honest to goodness, real life seminar junkie.

I blame Tony Robbins.

And I cant thank him enough for putting me on the path then that led me to where I am today. I love him like a hooker loves her pimp. Only more. So please dont misunderstand this post as my experiences being something I regret its quite the opposite. I AM better than I was when I began drinking the Kool-Aid. But if youve ever gone to an up close and personal live guru event, there is certainly a crash effect afterward. (Sort of like the January blues after the holidays.) Once home again, it doesnt take long for stress and monotony to bring back old patterns. Not to mention returning to loved ones who think all this stuff is airy fairy, resisting your efforts, mocking you, mocking the process, and constantly harping on what a load of crap it all is. Yet I know most of it will work because Ive experienced it personally, if only briefly.

#1 Tony Robbins Event Date With Destiny

This is a one week event, electrified with an atomic assault on your senses, as Tony uses master level NLP techniques, anchored by super-sized story-telling, infused with non-stop full-on masculine over-the-top energy Let me tell you something, even a freaking tree would be inspired. If Tony told it to, Im confident even a rock would start rolling across the room determined to lose its moss, gladly hurling itself on the fire coals we walked over barefoot. The room is electrified with 4,000 screaming and dancing rabid fans. Its worth every single dime just to see the show, even though its not really designed for the weak, the timid, or people on a budget (thats for sure). Even me, an extroverted over achiever, found it hard to implement when I got home because I went about it completely the wrong way. I failed to do one very simple thing I should have asked myself, How. Sustainable. Is. This. For. My. Life? Lesson Learned: Do not bite off more than you can chew. Pick and choose from the menu to avoid burnout. More is not better.

#2 The Vision Board

As a creative person, I thought this was the best thing since sliced bread and I couldnt wait to get started. Mapping out my vision for the ultimate life, grabbing poster board, magazines, and a pen to get it done in a weekend. I was off to the races for a better life. And some of that manifested, like finding my soul mate, my nuva-ring surprise from the universe wrapped in the small package of two tiny identical boys well lets just say I did not see that coming and was not next to the self-made $1,000,000.00 check from Random House on my bulletin board. Overwhelmed, faced with lack of time to be a great mom (to now five kids), have a career and take care of me in the process, resulted in anxiety or depression, depending on the moment (should I say minute). I was exhausted, mentally and physically, feeling hopeless, unable to find the light at the end of the tunnel. Sound familiar? I had lost total perspective on my life as I bumped into tree after tree looking for a forest. The thought of vision boarding my way out of this state was about as appealing as picking up cat hair off the floor with tweezers as opposed to a vacuum cleaner. Have you ever had a day where drumming up enough energy to take a shower seems like it might be too much? Thats where I found myself, not really knowing how I got here, meanwhile my board hung neglected in a corner, collecting dust at best. I simply could not help myselfso what next? Lesson Learned: Life cant just be solved by a bulletin board. Wasting time wanting something instead of just having it is the biggest barrier we face.

#3 The Game
Sarano Kelley, a friend of a friend called me and invited me to participate in his virtual VIP personal coaching group. This was exactly what I needed! I hit the ground running. My husband was horrified as he watched his loving wife morph into a rabid hamster on her wheel, rabid to anyone who got in her way to get her carrot and win. Daily coaching calls at 8 a.m. Excel charts with every minute mapped, tied to a reward system based on how many leg lunges I did. I was the Arnold Schwarzenegger of improving myself I swear to God, it was something to see. Unless you were my family My clients were thrilled. I was over-delivering, meeting all deadlines, making money and all around kicking ass I was miserable. It was all I could think about I was consumed by getting an A on everything I was doing; I rejoiced at the illusion there was something I could do to be happy. I could make happiness happen, right? Wrong. After the game ended, I was back in the same old rut, staring in the mirror at the only white elephant in the room me. Lesson Learned: Trying to become someone or achieve to be happy is the biggest lie we tell ourselves and believe.

The bottom line is you dont have to change YOU to be happy. You just need to learn how to change your perception about your situation. The emotion you experience comes from the meaning youve given to it, combined with how long you believe its going to last. Even if you do nothing but become aware of every single time YOU let a tough situation drain your power, you will begin to make the shift away from the internal blame game. This awareness allows you to evolve into a quiet state of knowing you have the ability to BE anything you want to be. And Im going to show you how to do exactly that over the next 30 days were just getting started Im looking forward to our journey together.

Day 2 Email (Suffering Is Not In The Facts, It's In The Perception Of The Facts)

Warning Are You A Messy Pig? I am for sure! My ex would tell you I have the highest level of grossisity of anyone he had ever met. (He lorded his pristine daily habits over my head like he deserved some Nobel Peace Price for how organized he was) Sure hed pretend it was a joke. But it was one made at my expense no doubt about that. Of course Id play it off as a joke by drawling in my best Elvis impression thank you, thank you very much. I later learned this is a program for me. I wonder if its one for you too? (more on this later) I wont lie. It hurt my feelings. Somehow he was telling me I wasnt good enough and I believed him, unfortunately leaving me to fume for at least twenty minutes, How dare he make ME feel less than? Who does he think he is to judge me? And so on. Have you ever had someone put you down in the spirit of playfulness? (they might be on your "list") Or worse yet, maybe you make yourself the butt of the joke, like I did. Either way, at the end of the day it sort of makes you want to punch something doesnt it? (hint: pay attention to the word MAKE) Yet as much as it pains me to admit this Hes right. If I were a cartoon character Id most likely be cast as Pig Pen, but that doesnt make it ok. Just because you state the obvious, if it makes someone else hurt inside, is it ok? No its not. So I felt justified in my anger. Until I learned I was wrong big time!

No one can make me do anything! I CHOOSE my reaction to their action. This makes sense right? Its not that hard to accept is it? much anger management 101 - no matter what, even if someone you, and you end up slitting their throat youre CHOOSING your reaction. ANY action you make, no matter how justified doing it - is your choice. Its pretty violates this as you feel in

Believe this or not, not everyone would choose to take the same exact

action you did. Think about your family or your friends and what they might do in a life or death situation. My brother would walk away. Id fight until the end (and then find a way to haunt you from the grave.) My stepson might cry or pass out from fear. And my mom would say, of course this would happen to me? (the victim approach drives me insane!) What would YOU do? The point is not every single person has the same reaction (You must write this down for later) because they have a different view of the world based on their own beliefs and values, based on their past. Just like a baby learns the hard way, dont put hot food in your mouth, weve learned certain behaviors based on how we were rewarded and punished by others. This concept is so much bigger than the lesson today, but for right now, I just want you to grasp the filters you use to process input are unique to you, and you should never let someone else define your world by telling you what your filters should be (i.e. What is right or wrong) Other people can only make you feel less than if you already believe it. You can reset your filters you can see the world differently, in an instant by doing only this one thing. This story tells it beautifully when I heard it in India for the first time it changed everything for me. Ive never felt so free. I hope it does the same for you, and grab your list, your lemons, then read this short story

PS. My mom used to tell me, Messy room means messy mind. At 11 that didnt mean a helluva lot, I have to be honest. But looking back I think the real question is did the room create the messy mind, or did the mind create the messy room? Until next time

Day 2 Tip Suffering Comes From YOUR Perception (Yep, its your fault!)

Which one of these statements do you believe in?

An eye for an eye or Live and let live? No matter how you answered, your response was based on your belief system. Yet, if I asked 20 people, they wouldnt all answer the same because they have different beliefs and filters through which they see things. Your biggest source of pain comes from not seeing how limiting your beliefs can be. Believing what you feel to be based on facts, is a lie. What you feel is based on your perception of the facts. Suffering never comes from the facts themselves, it comes from your perception of the facts; its the meaning you place on what YOU are processing in that moment. Your brain receives data from your five senses. Your mind then process the data and applies meaning based on your belief system, which youve spent years building (though probably not intentionally). This belief system is what I refer to when I use the word filter. Your mind uses these ego-created filters to create your perception of the world creating your reality; theyre unique to you and part of your personality. The first step in thinking outrageously starts with being aware of your unique filter. Remember, the main thing that makes up YOUR reality is YOUR perception. How you feel about your reality is your own doing. Trying to convince someone they didnt see hear or feel what they believe they did is about as effective as holding a horses head under water to make it drink. When you believe this one thing to be true, you will feel outrageous! No one can make you think, feel, or see anything; youre the one inflicting pain upon yourself as this story will illuminate. Two college girls were best friends and ate together every Friday night, without fail. However, one weekend, Sally told Jen she wasnt feeling well and wanted to skip dinner. Thinking nothing of it Jen said no big and later that night, decided to just grab some carryout from their favorite place. When she got there, Jen was shocked to see Sally eating dinner with another girl she couldnt believe her eyes. Anxious to get out of there before Sally saw her, with tears burning in her eyes, she practically ran out of the restaurant. All weekend, Jennifer kept playing the scene over and over, filled with betrayal and hurt. Finally, she came to the conclusion Sally had outgrown the friendship. Devastated, Jennifer barely slept all weekend, thinking how she would confront Sally on Monday and wondering what would happen to their friendship. Monday came, but before Jen could bring it up, Sally told her that her sister who lived in Europe surprised her Friday night on her layover back to London. She lamented that she was so happy to see her sister, but so sick, she didnt enjoy it. Can you imagine Jennifers relief? Can you also see how she suffered needlessly? When she saw Sally on Friday, Jen didnt just process the facts, she placed meaning on them, seeing rejection and potential abandonment. Once the facts were made clear to Jen, she then placed NEW meaning on the situation which made her feel better. The outrageous part is that SHE controlled the meaning the entire time! And So. Do. You. How many times have you jumped to the wrong conclusion? How many hours, days, or years have you suffered?

When you waste time believing your own BS, you diminish your power.
Every point in your life is a chance for growth find the growth from all your emotions, even if its painful. Accept the emotion without judgment. Just by being aware of how youre feeling, your resistance will fade and your pain will recede. By realizing the other person who hurt you (even if it felt like a more direct attack) is just caught up in their story, you reduce the emotional charge you have to their actions. If you really start thinking outrageously, you will also see how they served you by helping you with an important life lesson. Sometimes your biggest growth comes from situations in where someone you love forces you to face something within which youre avoiding. With awareness, gratitude will come because you know the truth. You control how much you let the facts control you. Gratitude comes when you realize you have the power to feel any way you want to; in gratitude there can be no fear and you will feel free. (Its outrageous when start to see this!) The next time you find yourself angry or hurt by someone elses actions, consider the following questions. For fun, take YOU out of the equation; dont make it about you, and put their shoes on. 1. What could they have been seeing in the situation from their perspective? 2. Could their behavior be coming from a place where someone told them they werent good enough when they were a child? 3. Can you see or feel the hurt child in them? Are they just seeking love, no matter if you agree with your tactics? 4. What if the other person was your child, what meaning would you tell your child to put on the hurt? 5. And most importantly, what did you learn from the experience? 6. Did you reinforce a limiting belief, feeding your story, keeping you from growth? Think about itoutrageously of course.

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Day 3 Email (Pay it Forward With Kindness) Have An Outrageous Journey I Hope you are having an outrageous time on our journey so far! You can expect to receive up to 3 "lessons or "ah-ha" emails during the week. On top of that, we will send inspiring short videos a couple of times per week, giving you the weekend off to "process". To start thinking outrageously you must see the power you have the power to do amazing things when you change your perception about what you "can" do. Sometimes it's the little shifts that will rock your world. Check out this short 2 minute video I created and find the power you have within to create magical moments this week. If you're on Facebook go to the PickTheBrain Fan Page here. If you are not a Facebook user you can go watch it at our blog here.

You don't have to save the world to do your part. One kind word or even a smile goes a long way. (It doesnt even have to be someone you know) Pay attention to the people you meet this week. Be aware of all the opportunities you have to put out just a little more love than you do normally. Think big. Think outrageously.

Creating the life you always wanted starts with your "state" (don't worry I'll explain this more as we progress, we arent there yet). Just focus on lifting your spirit by paying it forward along the way this week. In gratitude there can be no fear. Here's To Having An Outrageous Week, Lori R Taylor Ps. If you face resistance this week, sit with that, be aware of the pain it causes you and accept the pain for what it is. Then be grateful to the person who "triggered" it giving you the insight to face it, and embrace it. But remember, they are just a trigger, a supporting actor in your play called life. The light shines on you, comes from you and its your job to use it to light the torches of those you meet.

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Day 3 Tip

Do One Outrageous Thing This Weekend (youll feel GREAT!)

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Day 4 Email (Celebrate Everything) Do You Like To Party? I do. I love to party. I love to laugh, have fun, get dressed up, the whole gig. I absolute love to get my party on. Im not talking about getting drunk. Yes, Ive been known to have a cocktail here and there (In my 20s it was more like anywhere, ha). But the truth is, its not about the alcohol, its about the experience! The anticipation of a party is part of the fun for me. Getting ready, deciding what to wear, thats fun too, isnt it? Now maybe you are reading this thinking Im crazy. You might be one of those people who stress out about social get togethers and thats ok, too- I get it. But taking time out to have fun, kick up your heels and laugh with a few friends, no matter how elaborate the gig is can feel really great, right? (Everything else being equal.) So why dont we do it more often? And I dont mean party. Im talking more about why dont we take the time to say, Yay for me, I did it! The accomplishment itself doesnt matter. It can be as big as a promotion at work, or as small as finally getting that closet cleaned out (heck it can be the fact you resisted that snickers candy bar). Its just about winning. Let me give you an example. I have a client. An entrepreneur who was smart and had an idea to build an algorithm to make better stock trades (I know yawn, right? Stay with me). It took him over a year to build and guess what? It works. In fact it was 100% accurate in 2010 (pretty crazy huh?). But let me tell you a little secret. His big fancy Wharton education didnt teach him anything about marketing. He sucks at it. Completely. So he came to me and said, Help. He was a friend of a friend, so I said yes. What happened next was the stuff you read about online but never believe. I did my thing (and hey Im really good at my thing), called my buddies, made some new friends, got them to promote his product and

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voila we sold $800,000.00 worth of memberships in ONE week. No lie. No BS. Truth. He was thrilled. I was ecstatic whoo hoo! For about 24 hours. Yep, I celebrated for a whole twenty-four hours. And then life kicked in, something happened, a challenge, a frustration, (basically someone made me mad) and I was back on the hamster wheel off to the next conquest of solving that problem to feel better. Pretty pathetic, right? This is how I lived my life. No matter how big, or how small, my timeframe for celebration used to last until something happened that wasnt going my way. My girl friends had a running joke about me. Youre only as good as your last 20 minutes with Lori which is cool, cuz she only gives herself 10. Its so freakin true, that if I didnt believe you were in the same boat, Id have trouble admitting it. But heres the deal Almost everyone does this in some way dont you? You work, you slave and even if you dont get the big win, if you thought about it, I bet you could find a few high fiveable moments some of which you might have taken, but most of which you didnt notice. Most wins are just a whisper as you move forward. Never content with yesterday. Focused only on tomorrow. Screw whats happening right now (which by the way is the only thing you can really count on- which I promise you, if nothing else you must get out of these 30 days). WHY? WHY? WHY? Because you think you know the end game! You do you believe you have a road map for success and if you just do these few things you will have what you want. Even if you dont think you can have what you want? I bet you could tell me how other people could do it. (And then youd proceed to tell me why YOU cant sad really.) Which is fine over the next couple of weeks well dig into this. Well talk about how you are the only one in your way and have fallen in love with the lies your mind tells you. But the problem is much bigger than your perceived limitations (those are easy to get rid of when you know just one trick which Ill show you soon).

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But I cant show you how to fix that that until you get this. You. Must. Learn. To. Celebrate. Everything. If you cant do this, you will never be in the state you need to be to receive. Ever. You can read all the books you want, go to seminars, heck pay Mr. Robbins to coach you personally- and youll still never have more than mini highs, here and there youll never be truly happy. How could you be? You dont know how to be grateful. For you. For all you do every day despite the odds. Quite frankly, in spite of YOU! You can change this now. Sooner than later. Using just ONE of these 3 tips listed here will put you in a state of gratitude to not just enjoy your successes but hold onto them! Once you are able to do this, something magical will happen truly amazing I mean this is the ah-ha moment for the week! You will be able to automatically You didnt really think I was going to just give that to you, did you? Cmon. That wouldnt be outrageous that would be boring.

Im not going to spoon feed this stuff to you that wont help you.(but I am giving you a free gift, see PS)
Give yourself a chance. then pay attention. Trust me. Trust you. Pick a trick from this list, practice it and

And be aware.

Then Ill tell you the rest. Your Outrageous Party Girl, Lori R Taylor

PS. Ok, I dont want you to get mad and think I left you hanging, so you if you click here what youll also find is a FREE Gratitude Frequency made by one of my friends who is a mad scientist. His stuff is the real deal, which youll hear more about soon but until then hes letting me give you this super cool track for your ipod to keep you vibrating for success this week. Try it theres nothing to lose its really good stuff. You can go to the list to get or click here.
NOTE: LISTEN TO FREQUENCY WITH EARPHONES TO HEAR AND GET FULL AFFECT.

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Day 4 Tip 3 Power Tricks To Supercharge Your Day With Gratitude

Why is it so hard for you to say, thank you to you, when you say thank you to complete strangers every day (or at least I hope you do).
If someone holds the door, or even when a waiter brings you the check asking you for money, you say thank you. Heck many times you take the time to give lip service to be polite, but at least you say it, right? So if its that easy, when is the last time you told YOU thank you? Thank you for my beating heart, thank you lungs for my breath, thank you legs for all you do Do you ever say that? Its doubtful. Yet, if you want to connect with your true power, your subconscious, or spirit, taking the time to simply say thank you is a GAME CHANGER. If you dont believe me, try one of these 3 power tricks to supercharge your day with gratitude. #1 Use Better Words My mama told me too many times to count, Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you. She was a liar. And if you believe this, youre lying to yourself, too, so STOP. Language is EVERYTHING. Should you believe everything you hear? Of course not, especially if someone else says it. Do you anyway? Usually. On some level you let criticism feed into your low self-esteem to confirm what you already knowyou arent good enough. Yet even if you manage to overcome critique from others knowing they cant define you if you dont let them, youre still only part of the way there. Because thats not whats draining you, really. YOU are. With an internal assault of words, constantly comparing and contrasting, you are giving yourself a 24/7 commentary on how youre doing, every single minute, is whats holding you back. This is your big OPPORTUNITY to become aware of how you are feeling! Listen to your crazy thoughts. Then instead of saying, Dont be an asshole today, try telling yourself, Im going to be careful with my words today. Or, change your words from, Im NOT going to get pissed off today to, Im going to be in a great mood today. Let me give you a perfect example of how this works. My son is a super stud baseball pitcher. He throws hard, fast and straight down the middle. Hes almost impossible to hit. But, if you are a super stud hitter and make contact with that ball? Its going one place straight out of the park to home run city. Like every other pitcher, he loves no hitters, but if they got hot, he melts from anxiety of not being perfect. Until I told him to THINK differently by accepting they were hitting because they were that good, not because he sucked. I told him to start telling himself, Wow, that guy was a hitter nice. Now lets see what the next guys got 16

because hes gonna have to bring it to hit off me. Ill tell you the truth he didnt believe me at first until I had him do a simple exercise which you should try now Walk across the room and tell yourself over and over, Im NOT going to fall down. Where were your eyes? Most likely on the ground not up in a state of power. You focus your attention on what you arent going to do, putting your body in a state to actually do the thing you are trying to avoid!!! Now try this exercise again. This time say, Im going to stay up. Where are your eyes now? They cant help but look upwards or even towards the sky. By telling yourself youve got this, you will walk across the room confidently, your eyes naturally looking up or straight ahead, increasing your chances of staying upright. Eliminate any words like: Not, cant, wont, stop, not going to, dont want Change your language patterns to: Will, can, do, want, must, believe Move from: Im not going to eat crap today to Im going to be the picture of health today. If you can be aware, CORRECT your language until it becomes a habit, this one small shift will shift the energy in your entire body and spread into your life. #2 Use A Better Tone I bet you could tell me at least 3 things your parents told you growing up that still sting today. And guess what? You say them to yourself more than you think. Its true. Listen to your inner voice, what does it sound like? Mine comes across with a tough love mojo which comforts me. When I get scared, I immediately jump on me, triggering anger and almost immediately tell myself, Get your big girl pants on, dont be such a wuss. It works, I guess. I do stomp forward aggressively getting it done. Of course in the process I push people out of the way who may have been able to help me get there more effortlessly had I opened my energy up to receive help. Do you see how this isnt serving me? Anytime you use getting angry to move out of fear means youre living an angry life. Start talking to yourself the way you would a child. When you make a mistake or do something you arent proud of try telling yourself what youd tell a child. Or just find the words you wish someone would give to you. Of course you bit their head off. You hadnt eaten, were working on 3 hours sleep and were getting ready to miss a deadline. You love to achieve, get things done and keep your promises. Just apologize to your coworker and do your best to be more collaborative under stress and remember youre doing the best you can with the resources you have. 17

Sounds simple, right? It is! Being empathetic to YOU should be easy. Its what we all want from the people in our lives. So why not start with you? If you dont give it to yourself, who will? Why bully yourself with words of wisdom like, You are such an ass when youre in work mode. Why do you jump on people? You can be really selfish when you are stressed no wonder everyone avoids you at work? How does that serve you when you are choosing the words and can say ANYTHING you want to you??? You see? Language is EVERYTHING as is the TONE in which YOU speak to YOU. #3 Write It Down This one trick will change your filter for your life No matter what happens to your day, before you go to bed, write down 3 things that happened that day that made you smile. Chances are youre probably so caught up in seeing the spots of your day, trying to clean those up, youve forgotten some of the good stuff. Finding kindness in your day can be as simple as actually noticing and remembering the store clerk who smiled at you, someone who held your door, or even an unexpected hug from a child. Believe and you will receive. The only thing you need to do all day is LOOK for three things to write down. A simple thank you is something worth noting. Please take the time over the next week to practice this. Youll be shocked at the kindness you DO receive but miss because you are too focused on what you are NOT getting. Changing your life is hard. Changing your perception in which you see your world is EASY. Thats the outrageous part!

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Day 5 Email (Anger Can Be a Good Friend) OMG Im so pissed off right now Dear Reader, That should have been my tag line Lori R Taylor Im so pissed off right now. Thats how I lived my life. Forever. Until a few months ago And it got really bad during my divorce in 2005. Wow what an awful place that was have you been there? A dark place where you were so angry at everyone, for anything. The chip on my shoulder weighed about as much a match stick just looking at me wrong would knock it off. All of a sudden the alleged perpetrator would find themselves on the ground with my knee on their throat before they even knew what was happening (not literally, usually). Apparently being married to an alcoholic for 13 years will do that to you. (Now I know thats a bunch of BS too it was just the story I told myself, because the truth is I did it to me.) Its true. It was my fault. I was so unaware of what was happening. It was like I gave the keys to MY life to HIS bottle of Vodka and hated HIM for it? How crazy is that? (Its outrageous but not in a good way!) Seriously. Do you know what they teach you in Al-Anon? Falling off the wagon for the loved ones of an alcoholic means we uh-oh we relapsed by getting angry again. And its oh SO true. How many times does anger lock you in a state you cant escape from? It turns your days inside out, you cant see the clouds for the rain, much less the light at the end of the tunnel. (I call mine, Hillbilly anger, where I dont just see red, I can feel my ears burn.)

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Its ugly. And it doesnt serve me (or you either). But the craziest part of this mad cycle? It was when I figured out WHAT (not WHO thats key remember it for later) was triggering the rage. (Yes, sometimes the drivers are that bad but cmon Im sure you can agree road rage is nothing but an energy suck!) I found the culprit who was causing all the problems at a Tony Robbins Life Mastery event during an exercise where we climbed a telephone pole. Since Im not afraid of heights it seemed easy enough Yet as I was waiting my turn, I noticed something interesting. Some people took FOREVER to climb up the pole (Yep - that irritated me, too). Others scurried up and then just waited for what seemed like eons put their foot up on the top and climb up. (Did I mention my lack of patience?) And some just did it, no problem. I didnt get it ..until it was my turn. Up I went. At my coaches direction I took the climb slow (see she knew that I was one of the hurry-up-and-grab-the-carrots-kind-of-gals just get it done was my motto). So I played along and at each step Id think of something to be grateful for in my life. (It was cool, Ill admit.) Then I got to the top. I was 60 feet in the air, right? (Again, high places dont scare me, so not that big of a deal to me, my ex would have cried.) Keep in mind I have nothing but a rope attached to me to keep me safe in case I fell. It would also keep from from falling when I jumped (Did I mention that part? We had to leap from the top of the pole to the trapeze bar ha!). (BTW as a side note Every single person is born with the innate fear of falling thats how you learn to walk its why you put your hands out automatically to catch yourself when you trip and fall. It doesnt mean you are afraid of heights; it just means you dont like to fall.) Anyway, I got all the way up, almost to the top! (See I knew I could do it) Only one more seemingly simple thing to do - get my right foot on top of the 5 in diameter pole with nothing to pull myself up with. 20

(Hmmm. Now I see what was taking so long.) It seemed impossible to do without falling. It was a 6 step up AT LEAST. And dude, I am NOT flexible, so I had no idea what to do, until he showed up. Thats right. My long lost foe Fear, who I THOUGHT hadnt been there since I was a child (I was wrong), showed up and I almost threw up. As I was having a small panic attack, fearful of falling, looking dumb, and all that fun stuff my good buddy and trusted wingman Anger appeared out of nowhere my woobie- my security blanket my knight in shining armor! Ah, sheer relief literally washed over my body. And I saw it. Couldnt believe it when I looked, I must admit it caught me off guard. But there it was. Anger comes and Im happy? Like always, I realized. The big ah-ha. Me terrified. me, OMG. Are is waiting on Just. Do. It. Forced to feel fear. And Anger steps right in to shout at you kidding me? All these other people did it! Everyone you pull it together and put on your big girl pants. Damnit.

So, with my teeth gritted, I went for it Success oh the energy flowing through me was amazing! incredibly powerful! And so was the lesson. Almost every time I have ever gotten angry it came from a place of fear. Not just then. Every. Single. Day. A fear of rejection, abandonment or not being good enough (I was adopted, more on that rat trap later) was at the core of every tantrum. I had learned to use anger so long ago to avoid feeling fear, I didnt even know fear was there. Thats how easily I let anger come to me. As you take this all in and think about your own relationship with anger, consider this. Since we live with the desire to be loved and a fear we wont be, is anger the best defense mechanism to serve what you really want out of life? Probably not, right? But who wants to be scared? It was so

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No one. Everyone is much more comfortable in their anger, or sadness, or fullblown depression than fear. But NONE of it serves you when you run from fear. It is the catalyst to moving you forward in many cases. Its the leverage you need to take action to make changes.

(In May we are having a Power of Fear summit be sure to look out for it its beyond powerful so trust me, you do NOT want to miss it.) And no. Anger isnt the worst emotion in the world (Actually there is NO bad emotion, which well talk about soon). For example, if somebody breaks into your house is falling in the fetal position going to save your family? Probably not. Will getting angry save your life? It might. to fight for your life. It just might if you need

The real problem is, most situations in life are not truly life or death. Yet our mind is in control and in a constant state of flight or fight - even at the office, in the kitchen, in the safety of your own home its insane! Until recently I didnt know any better. worse because I could not find a way to Stop. It. From. Happening. Can you? What do you do when you get angry? Why are you getting angry? How many people, places, or things do you blame when it happens? Im going to give you one trick that will stop the madness once and for all are you with me? If so, go here, take the short mental quiz then see the thing I do helps you transform anger into the power that sets you free. I think youll find it to be so outrageous, you might think its too simple. (Heck if you were where I was, youll probably find a way to get pissed off you took the time to do it LOL.) Or maybe not Maybe theres still a chance for you? I hope so. Take it now. Then I did. Which made it

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Outrageously Yours, Lori R Taylor P.S. I think old dogs can learn new tricks if the treat is sweet enough. So as your reward for playing full out, grab your instant stress relief frequency here. Again its from my mad scientist friend and its your gift (i.e. you dont have to pay). DONT FORGET YOUR EARPHONES WHEN YOU LISTEN

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Day 5 Tip

Why Anger Management Is Costing You BIG Time

Anger. Its hard to live with, harder to live without, right?

I agree. Whether you are confrontational or passive aggressive, no matter how you handle anger, you and everyone around you is affected by your anger. Some people will give you techniques to manage it. Others will teach you how to get rid of it. Im sure youve even adopted a few homegrown ways to avoid it. I dont know about you, but none one of those approaches worked well for me. The more I avoided anger, the more it showed up like a bad cold. It never seemed to never go away and there was no vaccine in sight. In between dreading it and trying to outrun it, I tried talking me off the angry ledge, as if I could reason with it that was a joke. At one point I even tried analyzing it, believing if I could know WHY it was there, it would dissipate. But that failed too. The more I focused on anger the more it seemed to come. Is anger a driving force in your life? To find out, answer these 8 statements from Mental Health to see if any ring true for you. 1. I dont show my anger about everything that makes me mad, but when I do look out. 2. I still get angry when I think of the bad things people did to me in the past. 3. I sometimes lie awake at night and think about the things that upset me during the day. 4. I find it very hard to forgive someone who has done me wrong. 5. I get angry with myself when I lose control of my emotions. 6. After arguing with someone, I hate myself. 7. People really irritate me when they dont behave the way they should, or when they act like they dont have the good sense of a head of lettuce. 8. When I get angry, frustrated or hurt, I comfort myself by eating or using alcohol or other drugs. If you answered true to any of them congrats youre human! If you found #1, #5, #6 or #8 to be true, you tend to like to make YOU wrong when you get angry. If any of the rest were true for you, youre making EVERYONE ELSE wrong when you get angry. Regardless who takes the beating for your temper tantrum, you should know its all normal - youre alive! What isnt normal is letting anger take over your life. No matter how good it feels at the time, even if youve been really wronged, it isnt serving you. But it could What if you became aware of your anger and didnt resist it? Trying to suppress your anger, or push it under the carpet to keep the peace is just delaying the inevitable. If you do react, and end up feeling guilty or even worse angry with yourself, youre telling YOU your feelings dont matter. (You might even be telling yourself its not ok to be angry.)

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How are these techniques working out for you? How would you feel if I met you, shook your hand, looked you in the eye and simply said, Lets get one thing straight, we can only hang out if your emotions never impact my day because I dont have time for hurt feelings and drama on either side. (Not good, I bet) The sad thing is, I dont need to tell you anything, because youre doing enough damage on your own! Every time you ignore your emotions, YOURE the one confirming YOU dont matter. Even if someone comes out and says, You dont matter, it means nothing unless you believe them. No one can steal your power you choose to give it away; even trying to ignore it or resist it is futile its just a matter of time until it surfaces. Trying to resist anger by ignoring it is like starving and not eating despite the fact theres a plate of food right in front of you. The more you focus on your hunger, the hungrier you usually get. Even if youre able to ignore youre hunger for a while, it will still be there later. (You might even be even hungrier, right??) Why would being angry be any different than being hungry? You can use anger to see what is really happening, acknowledge it, and be grateful for the opportunity to clear the block you already had. Accepting the situation as is and finding the common trigger for the situations youre holding onto will give you clarity to see the lesson you keep bringing to yourself. Put a different meaning to this lesson anger is bringing to you. Its just doing its job trying to get you to pay attention! Any person who evokes any emotion, good or bad, should be seen as an angel who is trying to help you see the truth. Your alleged enemies, the job you hate, or the verbally abusive relationship you might be in are just your way of bringing to you the emotions you require to experience in order to grow. You are powerful. You are loved. And no one has the power to make you feel or be anything you dont want to experience. Stop resisting emotions like anger or sadness and accept you need them to experience growth. Through a higher sense of awareness you can give them the space to come and go which will give you a feeling of incredible freedom finally knowing there is nothing for you to do or change or solve! Implement this one tiny shift towards the meaning you place on your emotions to start feeling OUTRAGEOUSLY delicious!

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