The Role of the Family in Philippine Society and in the Protection of Childrens Rights* Michelle Ong Program on Psychosocial

Trauma and Human Rights, Center for Integrative and Development Studies, University of the Philippines E-mail: pstcids@edsamail.com.ph / pstcids@pacific.net.ph This paper aims to tackle issues facing the Filipino family in its efforts to meet the challenge of protecting childrens rights in the new millennium. However, before we discuss the role of the Filipino family in the protection of children's rights, we must first discuss (1) the Filipino family and the context in which it thrives; (2) childhood in the Philippines; and (3) cultural construction of rights. The Family Definition. The definition of the Filipino family has been slowly

changing in the last few decades. The Filipino family is described as being basically nuclear but functionally extended. This means that most families consist of the parents and their children, but there is recognition and respect for the ties between the nuclear family and the whole network of relatives from both sides of the family. Grandparents, godparents, uncles, aunts, etc. --- all play some part in raising the children. Major decisions are consulted with them, especially when the parents are still young and starting out. However, the nuclear family defined as such has been growing less common. Presently we are seeing more and more diverse configurations of families brought about by changes in social realities. The OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) phenomenon has given rise to families where one or both parents are absent and children are raised by other relatives. Also, the absence of divorce laws has not prevented

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couples from opting to live apart from each other and to take care of the children as single parents, or to find another partner and start a new family together. In a study of children involved in the sex industry by the UP CIDS-PST (2000), it was found that more than half of the children in the sample of 40 had
*Paper Prepared for Philippine- China Development Resource Center-Amity Foundation (October 17-26, 2000)

parents who were separated, and more than half of those had stepparents and stepsiblings. Some children lived apart from adults and considered their household (consisting of other children and young adults not related to them by blood) as their family. Context. The typical Filipino family is economically disadvantaged -This

parents having jobs which could not provide for all the needs of the family, with limited access to and awareness of social services. reality makes children in these families more vulnerable to violations of their rights and parents less equipped with the resources (material and otherwise) to help. The Filipino family may be seen as child-centered. A married couple

(mag-asawa), only becomes a family (mag-anak) with the birth of a child. The family is also perceived to be a very important aspect of the Filipino's life as happiness is closely tied to a satisfying family situation characterized by harmony and bliss (SyCip, 19__). However, issues of power and control are often ignored. family is inviolate. Parents, because they know best, are to be trusted regarding decisions directly affecting the child. Parents' decisions regarding their children are to be upheld even if they are in direct opposition to the child's own
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Culturally, two ideas which

permeate family interactions are: that parents know best; and that the

choices.

Thus, children are hardly ever consulted when any decision This practice rests on the cultural

affecting them has to be made.

assumption that no parent wishes harm on their children (walang masamang hangad ang magulang sa kanyang anak). This assumption lends itself to abuse by the parents. Most parents, in their belief in their absolute control and authority over their children, commit violations against children's rights. The second idea, that the family is inviolate, not only makes these violations possible, but also make them difficult to call into question since the family, as an important institution in the society, is kept protected from scandalous accusations against its goodness and sanctity. Filipino parents see that it is their duty and moral obligation to raise their children well and turn them into productive, well-adjusted members of the society. A bad parent is one who did not fulfill a childs basic needs and did not teach him to become a decent human being.

Childhood in the Philippines Childhood, as an experience, is neither universal nor linear. There is no one proper description of childhood that can be said to encompass the experience of all children, as childhood is a social construction --- a product of the social, economic, political, historical and cultural realities surrounding it. It is important to understand the context of childhood in the Philippines, because only when understand what it means to be a Filipino child will we be able to understand how children's rights may be upheld in the Philippines. We will have to discuss a few of the cultural assumptions about children and childhood that affect how children are seen and treated by society in general and the family in particular.
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In Philippine society (as in many societies around the world), the child is thought to be passive, dependent and vulnerable. This is embodied in descriptions of children as walang-isip, walang-alam, walang-malay (mindless, know-nothings, innocent). The child is weak and therefore needs protection. He cannot fend for himself, and so childhood is seen as an extended period of dependency prior to adulthood when one can start earning for oneself and one's family. He is also born tabularasa --without knowledge, without goals, and without morals. The role of the family therefore is to mould the child into a socially responsible adult through providing him with his basic needs (which includes a good education), instilling discipline, and protecting him from harm and undesirable influences. This assumption leads to the inequality of power in the parent/adult-child relationship and consequently, to potentially abusive situations. Another idea about children is that they are properties of their families. They are gifts given by God, as much as land, food, and other material objects are gifts from God. They are considered, in many families, to be additional hands for the farm or extra labor in the family business or household. It is not unusual to hear parents saying to a child, "You are our only hope. We send you to school so that you can help us out of poverty." Children are considered as valuable resources which may be used in most any way. Another implication of this idea is that parents can do whatever they like with their children, and treat them anyway they like, even if others or the children themselves do not agree. Cultural Construction of Rights This leads us now to the cultural construction of rights. How does the Filipino culture understand rights? children have rights?
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Do Filipino families accept that

In several studies, it was found that Filipinos do not have a concept of human rights as such. In one study, by Crisostomo and Eco (1983), it was concluded that the Filipino respondents do not understand what human rights means. Another study explained that it could be because human rights was not translated properly in the local language. Another study by Conaco (1995) found that Filipinos had difficulty perceiving rights as an inherent feature of being human, and thought that rights embody power and are privileges bestowed upon them by external agents (such as individuals with more power or the state). It would seem that for Filipinos, one has rights only when one can exercise them, not that one has rights and therefore should exercise them. In our context, because of political, social, and cultural constraints, a person with more power has to allow one to exercise ones rights in order for those rights to be. This is very true of childrens experiences. In the study by UP CIDS-PST on definitions of child abuse (2000), although parents had some idea regarding what children are entitled to (dapat), there was difficulty in recognizing children's rights. The parents think that upholding of their children's rights is another parental obligation; if these rights are not upheld, it only means they are irresponsible parents. It should be mentioned that most of the parents' understanding of children's rights are limited to survival and development rights (food, shelter, education). Participation rights were almost never articulated as being part of children's rights, nor as being an important feature of good parenting. The Family's Role in Protecting Childrens Rights We come now to the question: what is the role of the Filipino family in protecting children's rights? As we have seen, there are cultural norms and practices existent and in operation in the Philippines which seem to
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be different from the environment required for children to be able to exercise their rights. Because of the great responsibility given to parents in raising their young, weak, dependent, passive and walang-isip children, they find it difficult to surrender their power and not impose their own standards, their own wishes on their children. They are comfortable with the role of guide and disciplinarian, in which they use their own lives as guides or templates for their children and in which practically any method (even those which may be abusive) is allowed them for keeping their children on "the right path". Even parents who know about children's rights and who see clear violations of it find it difficult to protect the children or offer help because of the cultural notion of the family being inviolate and the children being properties of their parents. People are afraid of being branded as "pakialamero" --- someone who meddles in affairs that are not his own. Family problems or issues should remain inside the family and should not be cause for attention from other families in the community. However, this does not mean that the family cannot or does not already play an important role in protecting children's rights. The fact is, there are families who already have chosen to go against cultural norms and play a more active role in the protection of children's rights. At present, more and more families are reporting cases of abuse and neglect in their communities and in their own homes. More families are also adopting more child-friendly parenting, as adults reflect on their own childhood experiences and opt not to follow their own parents ways of disciplining and taking care of them.

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As primary caregivers and as the basic unit of society, the importance of the family in protecting children's rights cannot be ignored. It is in the unique position of being in constant and mostly continuous contact with the child. The family remains as a very significant figure in the Filipino child's life, and cultural assumptions which afford it power can also be used to empower the child: 1. The idea of parents not wishing harm upon their children (walang masamang hangad) should be space for the inclusion of children's rights. It was said earlier that parents already have notions of children's survival and development rights, but the right to participate should also be considered when parents think of the best interest of their child. In order for this to happen, education about children's rights should be given to families. Most of the changes that have already come about are products of the greater awareness and concern for children's rights. However, a great number of families are still left in the dark regarding children's rights and their impact on them as parents and members of the community. 2. The family's cultural role as protector and haven from the ills and problems of the world should be built further and supported. It has been found in several studies that better relationships among significant adults (people a child might consider to be his/her family) reduce the risks of abuse to children. Relationships with caring adults who help a child fulfill all his needs and exercise his rights produce children who are more resilient ---- children who are able to protect themselves, learn and grow despite difficult circumstances. Development and strengthening of family relationships should be carried out with the consideration that the definition of family has changed and grown to encompass less traditional forms --- when we think of families as protectors of children's rights, we should remember that family does
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not only mean one's biological parents, but should include people (not necessarily related by blood) who care for and love the child especially in cases where the child's immediate family is the one violating his/her rights. As a final point, it should be remembered that the children and their families do not move in a vacuum; they are, as earlier pointed out, affected by the society that they live in, by the values and norms that the institutions in their society uphold. Families who do uphold children's rights in their homes lament that no matter how they try to support their children's exercise of their rights, their children will still have to go out of their homes and into schools, churches, and other people's homes and deal with people (mostly adults) who do not subscribe to the idea (or sometimes have no idea) of children's rights. It is still only with the concerted efforts of the various institutions and sectors of society that children's rights will be recognized and exercised.

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