Writing Tips:

Thesis Statements

INSTRUCTOR:
ZESA S. MINO, LPT, MAED
ALLPPT.com _ Free PowerPoint Templates, Diagrams and Charts
What is a thesis statement?

Every paper you write should have

a main point, a main idea, or central
message. The argument(s) you make in
your paper should reflect this main idea.
The sentence that captures your position
on this main idea is what we call a
thesis statement.
How long does it need to be?

thesis statement focuses your ideas into

one or two sentences. It should present the
topic of your paper and also make a comment
about your position in relation to the topic.
Your thesis statement should tell your reader
what the paper is about and also help guide
your writing and keep your argument focused.
EXAMPLE
- This paper theorizes that a textual reconstruction is
possible for Shakespeare’s Sonnet 113 from Early to
Late Modern English.

- This paper assumes that a descriptive analysis

through tree diagramming is possible in Francis Baco
n’s essay, Of Studies.

- This study argues that T. S. Eliot’s select poems

reveal syntactic phrase structures in their poetic lines
.
Questions to Ask
When Formulating
Your Thesis
Statement
Where is your thesis statement?
You should provide a thesis early in your essay -- in the
introduction, or in longer essays in the second paragraph -- in
order to establish your position and give your reader a sense of
direction.
Tip: In order to write a successful thesis statement:
1. Avoid burying a great thesis statement in the middle of a
paragraph or late in the paper.
2. Be as clear and as specific as possible; avoid vague words.
3. Indicate the point of your paper but avoid sentence structures
like, “The point of my paper is…”
Is your thesis statement specific?

Your thesis statement should be as clear and

specific as possible. Normally you will continue
to refine your thesis as you revise your
argument(s), so your thesis will evolve and
gain definition as you obtain a better sense of
where your argument is taking you.
Tip: Check your thesis:
1. Are there two large statements connected
loosely by a coordinating conjunction (i.e. "a
nd," "but," "or," "for," "nor," "so," "yet")?
2. Would a subordinating conjunction help (i
.e. "through," "although," "because," "since")
to signal a relationship between the two
sentences?
3. Or do the two statements imply a fuzzy u
nfocused thesis? If so, settle on one single f
ocus and then proceed with further develop
ment.
Is your thesis statement too general?

Your thesis should be limited to what can be

accomplished in the specified number of
pages. Shape your topic so that you can get
straight to the "meat" of it. Being specific in
your paper will be much more successful than
writing about general things that do not say
much. Don't settle for three pages of just
skimming the surface.
The opposite of a focused, narrow, crisp thesis is a broad, sprawling, superficial
thesis. Compare this original thesis (too general) with three possible revisions
(more focused, each presenting a different approach to the same topic):
Original thesis:
– There are serious objections to today's horror movies.
Revised theses:
– Because modern cinematic techniques have allowed filmmakers to get
more graphic, horror flicks have desensitized young American viewers
to violence.
– The pornographic violence in "bloodbath" slasher movies degrades both
men and women.
– Today's slasher movies fail to deliver the emotional catharsis that 1930s
horror films did.
Is your thesis statement clear?
Your thesis statement is no exception to your writing: it needs to be as
clear as possible. By being as clear as possible in your thesis statement,
you will make sure that your reader understands exactly what you mean.

Tip: In order to be as clear as possible in your writing:

Unless you're writing a technical report, avoid technical language. Always
avoid jargon, unless you are confident your audience will be familiar
with it.
Avoid vague words such as "interesting,” "negative," "exciting,”
"unusual," and "difficult."
Avoid abstract words such as "society," “values,” or “culture.”
These words tell the reader next to nothing if you do
not carefully explain what you mean by them. Never
assume that the meaning of a sentence is obvious.
Check to see if you need to define your terms
(”socialism," "conventional," "commercialism,"
"society"), and then decide on the most appropriate
place to do so. Do not assume, for example, that you
have the same understanding of what “society” mean
s as your reader. To avoid misunderstandings, be as
specific as possible.
Compare the original thesis (not specific and clear
enough) with the revised version (much more specific an
d clear):
Original thesis: Although the timber wolf is a timid and
gentle animal, it is being systematically exterminated. [if
it's so timid and gentle -- why is it being exterminated?]
Revised thesis: Although the timber wolf is actually a
timid and gentle animal, it is being systematically
exterminated because people wrongfully believe it to be
a fierce and cold-blooded killer.
Does your thesis include a comment about your
position on the issue at hand?

The thesis statement should do more than

merely announce the topic; it must reveal
what position you will take in relation to that
topic, how you plan to analyze/evaluate the
subject or the issue. In short, instead of
merely stating a general fact or resorting to a
simplistic pro/con statement, you must decide
what it is you have to say.
Tips:
Avoid merely announcing the topic; your original and
specific "angle" should be clear. In this way you will
tell your reader why your take on the issue matters.
– Original thesis: In this paper, I will discuss the rel
ationship between fairy tales and early childhood.
– Revised thesis: Not just empty stories for kids,
fairy tales shed light on the psychology of young
children.
Avoid making universal or pro/con judgments
that oversimplify complex issues.
– Original thesis: We must save the whales.
– Revised thesis: Because our planet's healt
h may depend upon biological diversity,
we should save the whales.
When you make a (subjective) judgment call, specify
and justify your reasoning. “Just because” is not a go
od reason for an argument.
– Original thesis: Socialism is the best form of
government for Philippines.
– Revised thesis: If the government takes over
industry in Philippines, the industry will become
more efficient.
Avoid merely reporting a fact. Say more than what is
already proven fact. Go further with your ideas. Other
wise… why would your point matter?
– Original thesis: Hoover's administration was
rocked by scandal.
– Revised thesis: The many scandals of Hoover's ad
ministration revealed basic problems with the Re
publican Party's nominating process.
Is your thesis statement original?
Avoid, avoid, avoid generic arguments and formula
statements. They work well to get a rough draft
started, but will easily bore a reader. Keep revising
until the thesis reflects your real ideas.
Tip: The point you make in the paper should matter:
1. Be prepared to answer “So what?” about your thesis
statement.
2. Be prepared to explain why the point you are
making is worthy of a paper. Why should the reader
read it?
Compare the following:
Original thesis:
– There are advantages and disadvantages to using statistics.
(a fill-in-the-blank formula)
Revised theses:
– Careful manipulation of data allows a researcher to use
statistics to support any claim she desires.
– In order to ensure accurate reporting, journalists must
understand the real significance of the statistics they report.
– Because advertisers consciously and unconsciously
manipulate data, every consumer should learn how to
evaluate statistical claims.
Avoid formula and generic words. Search for concrete sub
jects and active verbs, revising as many "to be" verbs as p
ossible. A few suggestions below show how specific
word choice sharpens and clarifies your meaning.
Original: “Society is...” [who is this "society" and what exa
ctly is it doing?]
Revised: "Men and women will learn how to...," "writers c
an generate...," "television addicts may chip away at...," "A
merican educators must decide...," "taxpayers and legislat
ors alike can help fix..."
Original: "the media"
Revised: "the new breed of television reporters,"
"advertisers," "hard-hitting print journalists," "horror
flicks," "TV movies of the week," "sitcoms," "national
public radio," "Top 40 bop-til-you-drop..."
Original: "is, are, was, to be" or "to do, to make"
Revised: any great action verb you can concoct: "to g
enerate," "to demolish," "to batter," "to revolt," "to di
scover," "to flip," "to signify," "to endure..."
Use your own words in thesis
statements; avoid quoting. Crafting an
original, insightful, and memorable
thesis makes a distinct impression on a
reader. You will lose credibility as a
writer if you become only a
mouthpiece or a copyist; you will gain
credibility by grabbing the reader with
your own ideas and words.
 A well-crafted thesis
statement reflects well-crafted
ideas. It signals a writer who
has intelligence, commitment,
and enthusiasm.