PERSONAL

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
DEVELOPMENT
 Learning Objective
Objectives:
•

Discuss an understanding of
teen-age relationships, including
the acceptable and unacceptable
expressions of attractions
 QUESTION

WHAT DO WE MEAN BY
PERSONAL
RELATIONSHIPS?

DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION – BUREAU OF CURRICULUM DEVELOPMENT

 Personal relationships

-refer to close connections between people,

formed by emotional bonds and interactions.
These bonds often grow from and are
strengthened by mutual experiences.
•
Relationships are not static; they are continually
evolving, and to fully enjoy and benefit from
them we need skills, information, inspiration,
practice, and social support. In our model there
are three kinds of personal relationships:
 Three kinds of personal relationships:

A.FAMILY
THE BUREAU OF THE CENSUS DEFINES FAMILY AS "TWO OR
MORE PERSONS WHO ARE RELATED BY BIRTH, MARRIAGE, OR
ADOPTION AND WHO LIVE TOGETHER AS ONE HOUSEHOLD."

BUT MANY PEOPLE HAVE FAMILY THEY DON'T LIVE WITH OR

TO WHOM THEY ARE NOT BONDED BY LOVE, AND THE ROLES
OF FAMILY VARY ACROSS CULTURES AS WELL AS
THROUGHOUT YOUR OWN LIFETIME. SOME TYPICAL
CHARACTERISTICS OF A FAMILY ARE SUPPORT, MUTUAL
TRUST, REGULAR INTERACTIONS, SHARED BELIEFS AND
VALUES, SECURITY, AND A SENSE OF COMMUNITY.

.
 Friends

A FRIENDSHIP CAN BE THOUGHT OF AS A

CLOSE TIE BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE THAT IS OFTEN
BUILT UPON MUTUAL EXPERIENCES, SHARED
INTERESTS, PROXIMITY, AND EMOTIONAL
BONDING.
FRIENDS ARE ABLE TO TURN TO EACH OTHER IN
TIMES OF NEED.
NICHOLAS CHRISTAKIS AND JAMES FOWLER,
SOCIAL-NETWORK RESEARCHERS AND AUTHORS
OF THE BOOK CONNECTED, FIND THAT THE
AVERAGE PERSON HAS ABOUT SIX CLOSE TIES—
THOUGH SOME HAVE MORE, AND MANY HAVE
ONLY ONE OR NONE.
 Partnerships
ROMANTIC PARTNERSHIPS,
INCLUDING MARRIAGE, ARE CLOSE
RELATIONSHIPS FORMED BETWEEN
TWO PEOPLE THAT ARE BUILT UPON
AFFECTION, TRUST, INTIMACY, AND
ROMANTIC LOVE. WE USUALLY
EXPERIENCE THIS KIND OF
RELATIONSHIP WITH ONLY ONE
PERSON AT A TIME.
 QUESTION

WHY PERSONAL
RELATIONSHIPS
ARE IMPORTANT?

DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION – BUREAU OF CURRICULUM DEVELOPMENT

1. Live longer.
2. Deal with stress
3. Be healthier
4. Feel richer

DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION – BUREAU OF CURRICULUM DEVELOPMENT

 SELF-CONCEPT

On the other hand, low social support is linked

to a number of health consequences, such as:
1.Depression
2.Decreased immune function
3.Higher blood pressure

DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION – BUREAU OF CURRICULUM DEVELOPMENT

 25 MOST COMMON RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM
1. Affairs / infidelity / cheating. This includes emotional infidelity, one-night stands,
internet relationships (including ‘sexting’), long- and short-term affairs and financial
infidelity

2. Sexual Issues, particularly loss of libido and including questions around your
gender, or your partner's gender

3.Significant differences in core values and beliefs

4.Dealing with a jealous partner

5. Having 'blended' family issues

6.Life stages – you have ‘outgrown’ each other or have ‘changed’ significantly for
whatever reason

7.Traumatic ad/or Life-Changing Events

8.Responses to prolonged periods of Stress, such as Work-Related Stress, long-

term illness, mental health issues, Financial Problems, problems with the children,
infertility and many more
• .
 25 MOST COMMON RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM
9.Domestic violence, which includes verbal as well as
physical abuse:THE most serious relationship problem.

10.Knowing you should not have g ot married in the first

place!

11.Manipulation or over-involvement in your relationships with

family or friends

12.Lack of comunication about important matters

13.Poor division of and / or one-sided lack of responsibility for

chores and tasks. It is not always women who complain about
this relationship problem!
•
 25 MOST COMMON RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM
•

14.Lack of responsibility regarding finances, children,

health and many other issues
15.Unrealistic Expectations- still thinking your partner
/ spouse is the princess / knight and not seeing the
'real' human being
16.Addictions- substance abuse

17.Excessive reliance on social media, at the cost of

the relationship
 •
25 MOST COMMON RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM
18.Perceived lack of concern, care and consideration / attentiveness: feeling the
relationship is one-sided is a big one!

19.Significant personal disappointments and traumas that lead to a change in relationship

dynamics

20. Long term depression or other mental health issues suffered by one partner or both

21. Significant differences in opinion on how to discipline / deal with the children

22. Long-term stress, particularly when not taking responsibility for doing something positive
to address the cause, or about learning to handle it if it cannot be changed

23. An unsupportive partner during pregnancy and/or significant problems after the birth of
your baby.

24.Bored in or with Your Relationship

25.Lack of support during particularly difficult times from people that matter to you
 After reading the letter, be ready to answer the following questions in class:

1.What kind of relationship does the letter describe?

2. Who are involved in the relationship? Describe each character.

3. What roles does each character play in the relationship?

4. Are you satisfied with this type of relationship? Explain your answer.

5.Do you agree that this type of relationship can be improved? Explain
your answer.

6. In what ways can the characters show they are responsible to maintain
a good relationship?
 NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
1. CONNECT WITH YOUR FAMILY
2.PRACTICE GRATITUDE
GRATITUDE IS ONE OF THE MOST ACCESSIBLE POSITIVE EMOTIONS,
AND ITS EFFECTS CAN STRENGTHEN FRIENDSHIPS AND INTIMATE LEARN
TO FORGIVE
3. RELATIONSHIPSLEARN TO FORGIVE

IT’S NORMAL FOR DISAGREEMENTS OR BETRAYAL TO ARISE IN

RELATIONSHIPS, BUT YOUR CHOICE ABOUT HOW TO HANDLE THE HURT
CAN HAVE A POWERFUL EFFECT ON THE HEALING PROCESS. CHOOSING
TO FORGIVE CAN BRING ABOUT A VARIETBE COMPASSIONATE
4.BE COMPASSIONATE
. COMPASSION IS THE WILLINGNESS TO BE OPEN TO YOURSELF AND
OTHERS, EVEN IN PAINFUL TIMES, WITH A GENTLE, NONJUDGMENTAL
ATTITUDE
5. ACCEPT OTHERS
6. CREATE RITUALS TOGETHER
7. SPEND THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF TIME TOGETHER
 TEN RULES FOR FINDING LOVE AND CREATING LONG-

LASTING AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS

1. YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF FIRST

2. PARTNERING IS A CHOICE MUST NURTURE THE

RELATIONSHIP FOR IT TO THRIVE

3. CREATING LOVE IS A PROCESS

4. RELATIONSHIPS PROVIDE OPPORTUNITIES TO GROW

5. COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL
 TEN RULES FOR FINDING LOVE AND CREATING LONG-

LASTING AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS

6.NEGOTIATION WILL BE REQUIRED

7.YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL BE CHALLENGED BY

CHANGE

8.YOU MUST NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP FOR IT TO

THRIVE

9.RENEWAL IS THE KEY TO LONGEVITY

10.YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS THE MOMENT YOU FALL

IN LOVE
Activity2: LETTER FROM MOM
Portfolio Output No. 3: Response to Mom’s
Letter

Put yourself in the shoes of Shane and write a

letter in response to Mom.
Explain your thoughts, feelings, and actions as a
child who is now almost an adult.
 •

Portfolio Output No. 3:

Reflections on Personal Relationships

Write a reflection paper on your

relationships, why they are important,
and how you intend to keep the good
relationships strong and healthy.
 How to keep a
healthy relationship
19
 PERSONAL
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
DEVELOPMENT
 Learning Objective
Objectives:
•

Describe ways on how to keep

healthy relationship
Express his/her ways of showing
attraction love, and commitment
 Activity 4:
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ITEMS SET
 Processing Questions:
1. What were your thoughts and feelings while answering the
activity?
2.What did you discover about yourself after doing the activity?
3.With previous activities, how would you describe your
relationship with your parents? Siblings? Possible or current
romantic relationship? Friends?
4.Which relationship is most important to you? Why?
5.In what ways do you express your feelings, whether positive or
negative?
6.If your relationship is not doing very well, what can you do
about it
 KEEPING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
 Good relationships are fun and make you feel
good about yourself.
 The relationships that you make in your youth
years will be a special part of your life and will
teach you some of the most important lessons
about who you are.
 Truly good relationships take time and energy
to develop.
 All relationships should be based on respect and
honesty, and this is especially important when
you decide to date someone.
 In a healthy relationship

Are treated with kindness and respect

Are honest with each other
Like to spend time together
Take an interest in things that are important to
each other
Respect one another’s emotional, physical and
sexual limits
Can speak honestly about their feelings
 Love should never hurt
Take care of yourself!
Sexual abuse
type of violence, and involves any kind of
unwanted sexual advance. It can include everything
from unwelcome sexual comments to kissing to
intercourse.
Emotional abuse
anything that harms your self-esteem or causes
shame. This includes saying things that hurt your
feelings, make you feel that you aren’t worthwhile, or
trying to control who you see or where you go.
 ABUSE AND ASSAULT

Love should never hurt. But sometimes it does:

 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be sexually assaulted in
their lifetime
 1.5 million women are sexually assaulted or otherwise
physically abused by their partners each year.
 Over 800,000 males are sexually or physically abused by
partners.
 Abuse can occur in any type of relationship--gay and
straight, casual and long-term, young and old.
 About 10% of high school students say that have
suffered violence from someone they date.
 Break the Silence: Stop the Violence

It may shock you to know that one out of

every eleven teens reports being hit or
physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend in
the past twelve months.
But why is that, and how can we change
it?
In "Break The Silence: Stop the Violence,"
parents talk with teens about developing
healthy, respectful relationships before they
start dating.
 HOW TO COMMUNICATE

Talking openly makes

relationships more fun and
satisfying; especially when you
both talk about each other’s needs
for physical, emotional, mental and
sexual health.
 So what's to talk about?
 Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs): This is actually an
issue that all teenagers and adults must be aware of.
Anybody who engages in sexual activity is prone to have
this one.
 Possibility of Pregnancy: Females who engage in sex
have a high percentage of putting themselves in this kind
of situation.
 Right time for sex: You can consider your current status
as a student if it is really high time to be involved in this
kind of activity. Will this make or break your future?
 Boundaries: Making the decision to set your limits in a
relationship shows your maturity to assert your priorities
and respecting yourself.
 MAKING THE DECISION: DECIDING WHETHER OR NOT TO HAVE SEX

The decision of whether or not to have sex is up to

you, and you alone.
Ask yourself:
Am I really ready to have sex?
How am I going to feel after I have sex?
Am I doing this for the right reasons?
How do I plan to protect myself/my partner
from sexually transmitted infections or
pregnancy?
How am I going to feel about my partner
afterwards?
 TALKING TO YOUR PARENTS
 But remember: Not every person your age is having
sex.
 Even if sometimes it feels like everyone is "doing it," it is
important to realize that this is not true.
 People often talk about sex in a casual manner, but this
doesn't mean they are actually having sex.

 Knowing how you feel about yourself is the first big step in
handling peer pressure.
 It's OK to want to enjoy your teen years and all the fun
times that can be had.
 It's OK to respect yourself enough to say, "No, I'm not
ready to have sex."
 BASIC RIGHTS IN A RELATIONSHIP
• The right to emotional support
• The right to be heard by the other and to respond
• The right to have your own point of view, even if this differs
from your partner's
• The right to have your feelings and experiences
acknowledged as real
• The right to live free from accusation and blame
• The right to live free from criticism and judgment
• The right to live free from emotional and physical threat
• The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage
• The right to be respectfully asked, rather than ordered
How to develop basic
relationship
 1.Patience
Patience: Patience is essential to a healthy relationship.
 There are times when others will respond to us in a way
that is disappointing.
 When this occurs, it important to communicate our
disappointment, but also to give the other person
space.
 Be willing to give the person some time to reflect,
indicating that you are ready to talk when they are
ready.
 If the person is never ready to discuss the situation, you
may need professional help to resolve the issue, or ask
yourself whether or not you want to continue the
relationship.
 2.Honesty
Honesty: Honesty is another essential quality
in healthy relationships.
 To build honesty in a relationship, you
should communicate your feelings openly,
and expect the other person to do the
same.
 Over time, this builds trust.
 3.Kindness

Kindness: Kindness is extremely important

to maintaining healthy relationships.
 You need to be considerate of others'
feelings and other people need to be
considerate of yours.
 Be kind when you communicate.
 Kindness will nurture your relationships.
 Note that being kind does not necessarily
mean being nice.
 4. Respect
Respect: Respect is a cornerstone of all healthy
relationships.
 If you don't have respect for another person, it
will have a negative impact on all of your
interactions.
 Think of a time when you encountered someone
who didn't respect you.
 How did it feel?
 What are some ways that you show respect to
others?
 How to avoid peer or date pressure
If you're worried about being pressured or you are currently experiencing
it, know that you are not alone and there is something you can do about it.
 Hang out with friends who also believe that it's OK to not be ready for sex yet.
 Go out with a group of friends rather than only your date.
 Introduce your friends to your parents.
 Invite your friends to your home.
 Stick up for your friends if they are being pressured to have sex.
 Think of what you would say in advance in case someone tries to pressure
you.
 Always carry money for a telephone call or cab in case you feel
uncomfortable.
 Be ready to call your mom, dad or a friend to pick you up if you need to leave
a date.
 Never feel obligated to "pay someone back" with sex in return for a date or
gift.
 Say "no" and mean "no" if that's how you feel.
 DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

 In a survey of young people ages 15-

24 by the Kaiser Family Foundation, 9
out of 10 people surveyed reported
that their peers use alcohol or
illegal drugs before sex at least
some of the time
 DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

 The effects of drugs and alcohol can make it hard

to think clearly, let alone make the best possible
decisions about sex.
 While you're under the influence of drugs or
alcohol it is easy to make a decision you'll regret
later--decisions that can lead to a sexually
transmitted infection or an unwanted pregnancy.
 Even worse, there are some people who will use
the effects of alcohol and other drugs to force you
into having sex with them.
 •

Portfolio Output No.3:

Reflections on Personal Relationships

Write a reflection paper on your

relationships, why they are important,
and how you intend to keep the good
relationships strong and healthy.
 B

BRING ¼ ILLUSTRATION BOARD

, PENCIL , PENTEL PEN AND
COLORING MATERIALS
 PERSONAL
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
DEVELOPMENT
 Portfolio Output No. 5: Poster on Basic Rights in Relationships

On a piece of ¼ illustration board, sketch,

draw, or design a poster which shows
one’s basic rights in a relationship.
Here’s a sample
“There are some people who live in a dream world,
and there are some who face reality; and then there
are those who turn one into the other.”
Daphne Emmett
 PERSONAL
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
DEVELOPMENT