Family life in 21 century: st

Challenges and prospects

LIFE AND LIVING

 Topic #6

Ethical Foundations of Family Life

LIFE AND LIVING

 To know about the selection criteria for the Husband
Objectives
of the To know the selection criteria for the wife.
lecture
To learn the advantages of Islamic
Selection Methodology .

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 Kafa’ah in the Qur’an and Hadees
Prophet Muhammad ‫ ﷺ‬said : Whoever is able to marry, should marry...“

‫ َو َم ْن َلْم َيْس َتِط ْع َفَع َلْيِه‬، ‫َقاَل الَّنِبُّي صلى هللا عليه وسلم " َيا َم ْع َش َر الَّش َباِب َمِن اْس َتَطاَع ِم ْنُك ُم اْلَباَء َة َفْلَيَتَز َّو ْج‬
." ‫ِبالَّص ْو ِم َفِإَّنُه َلُه ِوَج اٌء‬
‘’the Prophet (‫ )ﷺ‬once said to us, 'O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry,
should marry, and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to fast, as fasting diminishes
his sexual power’’
(Sahih al-Bukhari 5065In-book reference : Book 67, Hadith (English) reference : Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 3 )
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 Kafa’ah in the Qur’an and Hadees
A hadis of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) reads:

‫الناس سواسية بكل سنان الشط ال فضل لعربى على عجمى امنا الفضل بالتقوى‬

All mankind essentially is the same/equal like the spokes of a comb; the Arabs are not
superior to the ‘Ajam (non-Arab people). Any superiority among them is only due to
their piety.”

‫ فزوجوه إال تفعلوا تكن‬،‫" إذا ات~اكم من ترض~ون خلق~ه ودينه‬:‫قال رسول هللا ص~لى هللا عليه وسلم‬
."‫فتنة في االرض وفساد عريض‬
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Allah says in the Holy Qur’an;

)54:‫َو ُهَو ٱَّلِذ ى َخ َلَق ِم َن ٱْلَم ٓاِء َبَش ًۭر ا َفَج َعَل ۥُه َنَس ًۭب ا َو ِص ْه ًۭر اۗ َو َك اَن َرُّبَك َقِد يًۭر ا ۔(الفرقان‬

‘’And He it is who out of this [very] water has created man, and has

endowed him with [the consciousness of] descent and marriage-tie: for thy

Sustainer is ever infinite in His power’‫۔‬

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 Continued…..
Allah also says:

‫َو ٱُهَّلل َفَّض َل َبْع َض ُك ْم َع َلٰى َبْع ٍۢض ِفى ٱلِّر ْز ِقۚ َفَم ا ٱَّلِذ يَن ُفِّض ُلو۟ا ِبَر ٓاِّد ى ِرْز ِقِهْم َع َلٰى َم ا َم َلَك ْت َأْيَم ُنُهْم َفُهْم ِفيِه َس َو ٓاٌء ۚ َأَفِبِنْع َم ِة ٱِهَّلل‬
)71:‫۔(النحل‬ ‫َيْج َح ُد وَن‬

‘’And on some of you God has bestowed more abundant means of sustenance than on others: and
yet, they who are more abundantly favored are [often] unwilling to share their sustenance with
those whom their right hands possess, so that they [all] might be equal in this respect. Will they,
then, God's blessings [thus] deny’’

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Among them, there are those who have advantages over the others in terms of
knowledge (intellectual ability), as Allah says:

‫َٓيَأُّيَها ٱَّلِذ يَن َء اَم ُنٓو ۟ا ِإَذ ا ِقيَل َلُك ْم َتَفَّسُحو۟ا ِفى ٱْلَم َجِلِس َفٱْفَس ُحو۟ا َيْفَس ِح ٱُهَّلل َلُك ْم ۖ َو ِإَذ ا ِقيَل ٱنُشُز و۟ا َفٱنُشُز و۟ا َيْر َفِع ٱُهَّلل‬
‫ي‬ ‫َخ‬ ‫َن‬‫و‬ ‫ُل‬ ‫َتْع‬ ‫ا‬ ‫ُهَّلل‬‫ٱ‬ ‫َو‬ ۚ ‫ٍۢت‬ ‫َرَج‬ ‫َد‬ ‫ْل‬ ‫ِع‬ ‫ْل‬‫ٱ‬ ‫ٱَّلِذ يَن َء ا ُنو۟ا ِم نُك ْم َو ٱَّلِذ يَن ُأوُتو۟ا‬
‫ٌۭر‬ ‫ِب‬ ‫َم‬ ‫ِبَم‬ ‫َم‬ ‫َم‬

‘’O ye who believe! When ye are told to make room in the assemblies, (spread out
and) make room: (ample) room will Allah provide for you. And when ye are told
to rise up, rise up Allah will rise up, to (suitable) ranks (and degrees), those of you
who believe and who have been granted (mystic) Knowledge. And Allah is well-
acquainted with all ye do’’ (Quran58:11,Ali , 1985)
(Nur, 2014,KAFA’AH
LIFE AND LIVING IN ISLAM Towards a Progressive Interpretation)
 Selection criteria for the Husband
It is stated that the doctrine of kafa'ah (equality) in the Muslim law of marriage. This is done in the belief
that, no criterion is more indicative of social stratification among a group than that of whom they consider
equal to, and therefore, marrying their daughters.

The first constituent of kafa'ah is lineage

The second constituent, i.e. "Islam," or rather how long a person's family has been Muslim.

The third constituent of kafa'ah is freedom.

The fourth constituent is din or piety which includes moral conduct and hasab.

The fifth constituent is mall’

The sixth and final constituent is trade or calling (hirfah).

(J. Ziadeh, 1957, Equality (Kafā'ah) in the Muslim Law of Marriage, Vol. 6, No. 4.pp 510-513)
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 Selection criteria for the Husband
Islam directs the family of a woman to find a religious man having good character:

)1084:‫"(سنن ترمذی‬. ‫"ِإَذا َخ َطَب ِإَلْيُك ْم َمْن َتْر َض ْو َن ِد يَنُه َوُخ ُلَق ُه َفَزِّوُج وُه ِإَّال َتْف َعُلوا َتُك ْن ِفْتَنٌة ِفى اَألْرِض َو َفَس اٌد َعِريٌض‬

“When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes, then marry him. If
you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) on earth and corruption (Fasād).”

.]26 :‫"ِإَّن َخ ْيَر َمِن اْس َتْأَج ْر َت اْلَق ِوُّي اَأْلِم يُن " [القصص‬
“Verily, the best of men for you to hire is the strong, the trustworthy.

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 Selection criteria for the wife
The Prophet (peace be upon him) recommends a man marrying a religious woman and prefers her
religion over wealth, family status, and beauty for healthy marriage relationships;

‫ َع ْن َأِبي ُهَر ْيَر َة رضی هللا‬،‫ َع ْن َأِبيِه‬، ‫ َقاَل َح َّد َثِني َسِع يُد ْبُن َأِبي َسِع يٍد‬،‫ َع ْن ُع َبْيِد ِهَّللا‬،‫ َح َّد َثَنا َيْح َيى‬، ‫َح َّد َثَنا ُم َس َّدٌد‬
‫ َفاْظَفْر‬،‫ ِلَم اِلَها َو ِلَحَس ِبَها َو َج َم اِلَها َو ِلِد يِنَها‬: ‫عنه ـ َع ِن الَّنِبِّي صلى هللا عليه وسلم َقاَل " ُتْنَك ُح اْلَم ْر َأُة َألْر َبٍع‬
." ‫ِبَذ اِت الِّد يِن َتِر َبْت َيَد اَك‬

‘’The Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth,
her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious
woman (otherwise) you will be a losers’’(Bukhari, 5090)

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 Advantages of Islamic Selection Methodology
The earlier criteria as mentions in previous slides ,is this the law of shariah.
It is the most appropriate and reasonable way, in respecting the persons integrity
and honors of both partners .
This criteria is the best way to develop happy and peaceful relationships in a
family.
Correct information about both the parties can also be obtained from a trustworthy
persons.
Moreover , marriage is a serious matter and a life long partnership . It should not
be settled in the dark.
(kitabun nikah,ibrahim palanpuri,2008,p26)

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 Summary

Islam pays close attention to assigning important roles in life to each family while
building strong families, protecting them from potential injuries, and maintaining
family ties. Islam respects women as mothers, daughters, or sisters. It also
encourages marriage and prohibits the free mixing of men and women in order to
protect honor, chastity, purity and family roots. It gives each family an important
role. So fathers and mothers take care of their children and give them Islamic
education. Children must listen to, follow and respect the rights of fathers and
mothers at the heart of love and respect.
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 References

Sahih al-Bukhari 5065In-book reference : Book 67, Hadith (English) reference : Vol. 7,

Book 62, Hadith 3

Nur, 2014,KAFA’AH IN ISLAM Towards a Progressive Interpretation

J. Ziadeh, 1957, Equality (Kafā'ah) in the Muslim Law of Marriage, Vol. 6, No. 4.pp

510-513 (kitabun nikah,ibrahim palanpuri,2008,p26

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